Don’t Wait for Someday — Live for Today
By: Brenda Mahler
Tags: Life Lessons, Humor, Memories, Love, Life

Don’t Wait for Someday — Live for Today

The Reason We had a Wake on My Husband’s Birthday

When I called our financial consultant this week, I made a point after saying, “Hello, Kevin,” to quickly add, “Randy is alive and healthy. I simply have a question to ask.” He laughed. I believe I may have heard a heavy sigh of relief on the other end of the phone.

Kevin has been providing financial advice to our family for over 30 years, not because we had much money but because I insisted on saving enough to allow us to retire comfortably. Randy, my husband, humored me because it was easier than arguing. I knew if I did live to see old age, I didn’t want to be an elderly employee.

Any excess money we did earn usually purchased new toys. You see, Randy lives by two beliefs:

The man with the most toys wins.

Money has no value after you die so enjoy it.

The Rationale

Randy’s father became paralyzed from the waist down and lived seven years in a wheelchair with excessive complications. When his father died at the age of 54, my husband lived with the mindset that he would not live past his 54th birthday so he planned to enjoy what time he had on Earth.

Then when one of his best friends died three days after retiring, Randy lived with the tenacious objective to enjoy every breath of every day.

Many members of our family and friends have been plagued with medical issues. People who were waiting for “someday” to materialize so they experience their dream vacation, fulfill a fantasy, or begin to check items off their bucket list missed their opportunity. Many postponed opportunities to live life in the present anticipating the future. And many of them never had the chance to realize their dreams. Therefore, saving money was not at the top of Randy’s list of priorities.

Funding Retirement

Throughout our 40+ years of marriage, our financial consultant, Kevin, encouraged us to save more, invest, think about the long term. Randy balanced his desires and my goals. Therefore, as we aged, whenever I called our financial consultant, he answered fearful of what I might report. Dark humor defined our professional and personal relationship. It became a joke that when I called I would immediately announce that Randy was still alive and well.

Recently we retired and are living comfortably on a pension and plan to supplement it with social security in the near future. We are fortunate to be healthy and able to afford enough to pursue adventures; however, if tomorrow never comes, we created golden memories to cherish.

Birthday — Funeral

On Randy’s 55th birthday, I reserved a room at a Basque restaurant, invited guests informing them of my plot and planned a party to celebrate my husband’s survival. Family and friends dressed in black. Favorite pictures of the honoree sat on a side table. Funeral programs were dispersed highlighting the key points of Randy’s life. A poster welcoming guests stood at the entrance to our private dining room. Our daughter made a cake; the grandchildren attended; I wrote a eulogy, and guests paid verbal tribute to the man we love.

We surprised Randy with an opportunity to attend his own funeral while teasing him about his false prediction. He may never make money as a soothsayer but in this case I am glad. We all shed tears of laughter at the memories, and I left thinking we should celebrate life more often in this manner.

The restaurant staff found our memorial humorous as we toasted the guest of honor. Other customers shot suspicious glances our way as we laughed and told jokes during what to them must have seemed like a wake. For an outsider, we probably appeared lighthearted during what should have been a somber event — which simply added to our pleasure.

My husband and I have now been married for 42 years, and I attest there have been few boring moments. He just celebrated his 61st birthday, and I anticipate many more but if a tragedy did occur that took him from us, he would die knowing we lived life.

I understand and support the idea of saving for the future but not at the risk of not living for the present. Find time to enjoy life with the people you love, participate in activities and take risks so when the door of opportunity closes the memories will stay alive.