This or That: The Power of Choice
By: Monica Bartholomew
Tags: Consciousness, Choices, Decisions, Thoughts, Awareness

This or That

As we go about our day, we are making thousands of choices. It starts from the moment we open our eyes to the time we close them to go back to sleep. Even opening our eyes is a choice that we get to make.

The idea of choice seems to be one that many people believe they get to make of their own free will at all times but as I’ve been hearing more and more about the importance of making choices for ourselves, I realized that there are typically three types of choices we make at any given time and it’s the third one that we seem to avoid making…

Unconscious choices-these are the things we tend to do on autopilot. These are the things we choose to do without seemingly thinking about them-they tend to be what we call “habits.” These might include opening our eyes, getting dressed, brushing our teeth, showering/bathing, smoking, drinking coffee every morning, etc. Maybe we started out doing these things because we consciously (I’ll get to this one in a moment) made the choice to do them in the beginning but they have become so habitual that we do them and don’t even realize we keep doing them. I have an example of this: have you ever driven a road so often that you feel like you could drive it with your eyes closed or have you taken the same route so many times that you realize when you get home, you don’t even remember how you got there? Or maybe you follow the same routine every morning as you get ready to start your day. These are examples of unconscious choices where your mind and body just do it because they’ve done it so many times before. Day to day choices-this is the type of choice that might not be completely automatic decisions you might be more aware of making throughout your day. Some examples of this might be: what you want to wear for the day, how you want your hair to look, what you might want to eat for lunch, whether or not to answer the phone when it rings. These are choices that still aren’t considered conscious choices because they might be things that just happen in a moment’s notice and you decide right at that moment what you would like to do or not do. We make these choices each and every day and handle them as they come. Conscious choices-these are the toughies as they usually require some effort on our part or long thought. These are what I would consider choices made in full awareness of making them. Conscious choices usually seem to be made with regard to a future event and often feel like they can weigh you down because if you make a “mistake,” then you will have to make more tough decisions down the road (when in reality life is always full of these choices anyway no matter what you might choose now). Some examples of conscious choice might be: buying a car or a house, marriage, careers, or anything else that has a long term affect on your life and goals. These choices tend to be the ones where you might make a pro/con list to decide what is best. No matter what the decision is, you want decide what you believe to be best for you. The thing about conscious choice is, we still don’t know how it will end or what the future really holds but the truth is, there really is no end even if we made a “bad” choice. Even so, it seems to be a risk that we are still willing to take on a regular basis.

All of life is about making choices and the best part is: WE (you and me) get to make our OWN choices. I would bet that most people don’t like being told what to do and how to do it (I know I don’t!). The thing is, we let other people make choices for us all the time because we tend to flit back and forth between unconscious choices and day to day choices because those are “easy” for us to make for ourselves. Some just come simply out of habit and some are just for fun (choosing to wear those shoes with that pair of pants). It’s really the conscious choices that seem to hold us back and weigh us down. They seem to be the ones we hesitate to make for ourselves because they will determine which direction our life will take in that moment. Most of the time, we avoid making these choices for ourselves because we don’t want to feel the pain of possibly making a mistake or “wrong” choice so we let others decide these things for us. Isn’t it easier to let someone else say, “hey, why don’t you become a lawyer because you like to debate ideas?” or “that car looks like it “fits” you” but never mind you actually had your eye on a different one! Maybe you really have no desire to be a lawyer because you would rather learn how to paint and use your creativity but you end up becoming a lawyer to pay the bills and live the “American Dream.” Maybe you really like that car but you just KNOW the other one is actually better for you and your situation.

Take a look back at some of the choices you made that might look like regret to you. Don’t judge them but look at them in perspective with where they led you. Maybe those tough choices were exactly what you needed to make to get you where you really wanted to go in the first place. Sure they weren’t easy decisions and the grass might have looked greener if you had taken the other path, but without having made those choices on your own, do you really think life would be better if you had made a different choice OR if you had let someone else had made the choices for you?

Let that last question sink in….

Take a look around you. Stop whatever you are doing (even reading this) and REALLY pay attention to where you are. What brought you here? Was it based the decisions YOU made or was it because someone else told you this is where you needed to be? If it’s the latter reason, then I ask you one last question….

Do YOU really want to be here in this moment, right now??

If the answer is a resounding NO, then what choices do YOU need to make going forward to bring you to where you want to be? If the answer is YES, then you made it! Your life isn’t over by any means but you have been able to make conscious choices for yourself in full awareness of what you want and where you want to be in your life. You truly KNOW yourself and know that by making those tough decisions, you are WHO you’re meant to be right here, right now.

Now, go out and make a tough choice for yourself today and see what happens next! Only YOU can live YOUR life like no one else can!