Five Reasons You Should Never Stop Asking: “Why?”
By: Clare Loewenthal
Tags: Self, Relationships, Creativity, Psychology, Life

Five Reasons You Should Never Stop Asking: “Why?”

Forget about finding an answer, the power is in the question.

Photo by niklas_hamann on Unsplash

I was that annoying kid constantly asking: “But why?”

Now I’m an annoying adult still seeking reasons for everything that happens to me.

Whether it’s a failed relationship, a creative challenge, life’s serendipitous course, or a big question like, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I’m always searching for a reason and a resolution.

Often, it’s a pointless exercise.

Unless we can fall back on faith, I doubt the world will ever gain an intellectual understanding of why life deals out hardship and blessings on a seemingly arbitrary basis. This doesn’t, however, stop my ruminations.

Would my life be lighter if I could just glide along without the constant analysis? Perhaps.

But my reflective nature has opened me up in important ways; moved me closer to the person I want to be.

And now, after years of navel-gazing, I’ve decided that finding an answer is less important than posing a question in the first place.

I’ve discovered five benefits to asking questions, even when answers aren’t delivered, neatly tied up with a big red ribbon:

1. Questions foster personal growth

After years of watching people move through the world, I’ve decided that lives conducted without self-examination inevitably lead to self-righteousness.

Because we are the sum total of our personality, value system and experiences, we often respond to situations instinctively and in ways that are comfortable and familiar. And this means that human beings seem hard-wired to repeat mistakes.

It makes me think of a quote, commonly attributed to Albert Einstein:

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

I believe the way to avoid repeating a mistake is through questions.

We need to constantly ask ourselves: “What role did I play in this drama? Were my actions ego-driven? How can I act in a kinder, smarter or more authentic manner in the future?”

If we don’t question our own motivations and actions, how can we remain flexible, learn the lesson and then grow?

I don’t think we can.

“It is easier to judge the mind of a man by his questions rather than his answers.” — Pierre-Marc-Gaston, duc de Lévis (1764–1830)

2. Questions spark creativity

For creative people, the important question is: “Why not?”

Hint: There’s never a valid reason not to try.

Creativity means fearlessly questioning and discarding the obvious and safe answers. It is as about finding authentic and unique perspectives: a different prism through which to view the world.

As a writer, the creative process involves me making leaps that others don’t, and communicating my truth in a way that touches the reader. It is impossible to be imaginative without first posing outrageous questions.

And the wonderful freedom to creativity is that there is no wrong answer, so even if you don’t see yourself as an artist capable of creating a masterpiece, you still have the freedom to follow daring questions wherever they lead.

3. Questions make us more empathetic

The best way I know to hold myself accountable for my actions is to consider an alternate point of view. I try to ignore my need to be right and reflect on how other people have experienced an event or a relationship.

How did my actions impact their lives and their happiness?

Sometimes the answers are uncomfortable, and it’s certainly easier to hang on to the belief that I always hold the moral high ground.

But it is only through asking confronting questions that I can see different points of view, and become more open to forgiveness and compassion.

4. Questions keep us young

The challenge of watching my mother and father age has resulted in an endless questioning of why some people’s agency diminishes as their physical wellbeing ebbs, and others are able to stay engaged with life.

I think the most important differentiator is the extent to which people remain connected to the world: stay curious and continue to probe.

I’m not saying that remaining interested is easy. Some people’s strength is depleted just by getting through their daily physical battles, which leaves little emotional or intellectual energy left for contemplation. It’s natural for weariness to make looking beyond one’s physical limitations a challenge.

Even so, some people push harder than others.

I’m in awe of people who see learning as a lifelong journey and use their later years to increase their knowledge, people who are open to new experiences and new perspectives despite their advancing age.

None of this is possible unless these wise old souls — my heroes — continue to ask questions of themselves and of the world.

5. Questions encourage humility

If you want proof of the power of questions, look no further than philosophy, which is sometimes called the Art of Questioning.

People value philosophers not because their work provides easy solutions to imponderable questions, but because their intellectual probing teaches us so much about the human condition.

Philosophers show us that questions matter not just because they may provide answers, but also because the nature of our questions determines what answers we receive.

Learning that life doesn’t always deliver neat solutions has taught me humility. Despite my intellect, hunger for knowledge, and relentless need for control; asking questions has forced me to accept that I have no automatic right to understanding. I also have no right to closure.

If I hadn’t continued along my path of asking inconvenient, unsettling and often unfathomable questions, I may have had a much easier life, but not necessarily a richer one.