Acche Papa: A Tribute
By: Saurav Anand
Tags: Tribute, Inspirational, Fathers, Obituary, Covid 19

As the world continues its battle against the novel coronavirus, this post is a hybrid between a poignant reminder of the most tragic event of my life and recounting an inspirational life that we can take a leaf out of in today’s VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex & Ambiguous) world, regardless of the age or life stage to which we belong.

Tragedy: My father left us for his heavenly abode on 25th April due to complications caused by covid. I lived through a nightmare as I flew from Abu Dhabi, UAE to Pune, India to make a dash at saving his life amidst tremendous odds. My brother and I made all attempts to provide him with the medical attention, treatment and injections needed for him to sustain a tough battle with the virus that had gone berserk in the second wave in India.

However, his age, comorbidity (diabetes since last few years) and perhaps absence of optimal and timely medical care led to a severe infection of his lungs that he could not recover from. After a valiant battle for about 2 weeks, he breathed his last on 25th April, leaving all of us — my mother (who had just returned home a night before from covid treatment in another hospital), my brother (who fought a lonely battle tending to both my parents for several days till I reached Pune), my sister (who flew in from the US amidst few challenges of her own) and me — feeling forlorn and inconsolable. Undoubtedly, this was the toughest and most tragic phase of my life.

Inspiration: I have tried to make an honest attempt at documenting some of the priceless qualities that Papa embodied that should guide me (and others alike) in my life.

Service before self: I will always remember Papa as someone who was extremely passionate about his work. He worked throughout his life for LIC of India, India’s largest Life Insurance company. His working life revolved around helping people ensure their families were well protected and also taking care of timely settlement of Insurance claims of dependents, after the sad demise of the Insured. It’s indeed sad that I am writing this as part of a tribute to his own life after his death. Living in a world when private sector jobs with their aggressive work cultures had not yet pervaded working lives in Tier II cities (I was brought up in Patna, capital city of state of Bihar), I found this a distinct departure from the generally followed norms for Govt/ semi — Govt jobs. Family comes first: Though coming from a middle class background, my siblings and I were given perhaps the best education our city had to offer. Also, amidst the ups and downs of our academic lives & career pursuits, he always made us feel that financial aspects shall be taken care of; though in retrospect, I feel he had gone out of his way to support us. Wherever we siblings are in our lives now, a lion’s share of the credit goes to him for backing us all the way, all the time. Likewise, he did all that he could for his mother till the end (she died around age 85); the trials and tribulations he had to go through in her old age were for all of us to see and seek inspiration from. There are numerous anecdotes I remember where he either fought for his siblings or supported them whole — heartedly in times of their need. Project Manager par excellence (family events): In a world that had not yet woken up to Social Media and where mobile phones were absent, he miraculously maintained close bonds with an extended family. He took pride in becoming the ‘Man Friday’ on all social occasions and used to take charge not only to guide others on making arrangements/ following rituals, but also to ensure that all aspects of the event were addressed perfectly and well in time. Those were the times of the proverbial ‘Big Fat Indian weddings’ replete with rituals spread over multiple days (outsourcing of activities were not in vogue yet and there was tremendous effort needed in executing tasks, especially if one belonged to the bride’s family) and he thrived in the responsibilities associated with conceptualising as well as executing all tasks associated with a wedding. He conceptualised and executed a mental Project Plan for such events with clinical precision; a Project Manager in today’s world can only marvel at such perfection. Detail — orientation: He was extremely detail — oriented. He maintained ready lists at home that had (i) birthdays of all family members including his son — in — law, daughter — in — law and grand kids (among others) to ensure that he was always able to wish them timely, (ii) contact details of all key doctors, pharmacy stores, grocery stores, et al, (iii) numbers of all TV Channels as a ready reckoner and much much more. I started maintaining separate folders for Insurance policies as per his guidance. It was extremely saddening to find a section related to execution of last rites in Pune neatly mentioned in one of his lists — he had tried planning that as well (though sadly, the last rites could only be performed as defined by the Govt for covid deaths). Disciplined life: His life was an epitome of how to manage one’s daily life for maintaining health (though he could not prevent the onset of diabetes, which was hereditary). There are a plethora of Self — help/ Personal development books available covering morning routine, work routine, journaling, exercising, meditating, evening/ wind down routine, et al for a good life. He followed a strict diet all along, did Puja (worshipping God as per Hindu rituals) every morning, ensured that he had meals at the right time and slept for adequate hours every single day. Fighting for what’s right: Amidst being a role model in many other ways, he also taught us to fight us for what was right in an ethical manner. I remember he waged a battle with an Insurance company for Mediclaim after one hospitalisation, long after I had given up. The Insurance company had to budge and pay the required claim amount that was rightfully due to be paid (tragically, that reminds me that his own Mediclaim has still not been settled by the concerned company!). The never — say — die attitude was ingrained in his DNA.

(Aside:) I did not have the courage to put his picture on this tribute and chose to instead use a small token I had gifted to him on Father’s Day last year — a cushion with the words ‘Acche Papa’ (‘Good Papa’ in Hindi). This Father’s Day was very painful for me, as all the e-commerce companies I used to order small gifts for Papa kept on reminding me to send a gift this year. I wish there were a bridge connecting Earth & Heaven for me to let something reach him this year as well….to let him know that I will never be able to repay the debt I owe to him.

It would perhaps be apt to conclude this post with words from a famous Ghazal sung by my favourite singer, the legendary late Jagjit Singh (I had the privilege of taking my parents and brother to one of his live performances in Mumbai a decade or so back):

‘Chitthi na koi sandesh, Jaane woh kaun sa desh, Jahan tum chale gaye….’

(Loosely translated in English as: You have gone to an alien country without sending any letter/ intimation to us).

I am sure wherever he is resting in heaven, his blessings will continue for his family. He will forever be my North Star and I hope to imbibe some of his qualities in my life. This post shall serve as a reminder to me for that.

(Aside:) My heart goes out to families affected by the covid pandemic. I would like to pray to God to let the departed souls Rest in Peace and provide courage to their family members to withstand the irreparable loss. Amen.