Got the Blues… Or Is It Postnatal Depression
By: First Time Mama
Tags: Depression, Baby, Blues, Mothers, Motherhood

When you have a baby, everything gets a little muddied around the edges. Sleep is unrecognisable from that thing that you did between 11pm and 7am every day. Eating is hit and miss. Getting out of the house before noon is a major triumph and everything feels different than it was before. You may have spent an evening on the sofa, rubbing your bump and watching someone suffering from postnatal depression on television. You’ll say quietly, to yourself, ‘I won’t try and hide my symptoms if that ever happens to me’, ‘I’ll be able to ask for help’ or your partner might even declare that ‘I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen to you’.

But it doesn’t work like that. The spectrum of ‘not feeling yourself’ after you have a baby is huge. But why would you feel like yourself? You have become a mother — you’re not yourself and you never will be the same person again. Doesn’t B.C., in fact, mean Before Children?

However, the sliding scale of ‘not feeling yourself’ stretches from a slight melancholy to the pits of despair where you can’t bear to touch your baby.

It is really, really important that you take the time to understand where you might be on the sliding scale of wellbeing, what you might be able to do to help yourself and when to raise a red flag and get help.

BABY BLUES — TOO CUTESY TO BE WORTH WORRYING ABOUT

Even the name is a misnomer; too pigeonholing to stress over. The Baby Blues are a much easier way for society to not have to look after you. The community around you — family, friends — are caught up in the joy of a healthy arrival and they often won’t pick up on your feelings. Let’s call the Baby Blues out for what they are — mood swings and mild depression.

This might be a very mild form of depression but it comes at one of the most challenging times in your life. There’s little or no chance of taking extra care of yourself but this phase will not last forever.

Most women experience some Baby Bluessymptoms straight after childbirth. They’re brought on by a sudden change in hormones after delivery, the process of milk coming in, a huge amount of stress and exhaustion. Many new mothers experience feelings of isolation. It can leave you feeling overwhelmed and fragile. It usually starts in the days after childbirth, intensifies across the first full week and then reduces within about a fortnight. It’s normal. It’s not nice, but it’s normal. Baby Blues are not often talked about in the run up to the birth so it can feel like a bit of a shock.

If you hit the end of the first month and things are not looking up, it might be time to consider postnatal depression.

HOW CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

At first, there’s not much in it. Baby Blues and Postnatal Depression both come with mood swings, tears, irritability, insomnia but, withPostnatal Depression, your symptoms are more severe, longer-lasting and can take you right to the edge of survival.

ALONE IN A CROWD

Your family has increased by one but you’ve never felt more alone. The world is still spinning and you don’t really feel a part of it. Society has shifted on its axis now that you and your baby come as a pair. Withdrawal leads to even greater feelings of isolation which makes it hard to bond with your baby.

SLEEPING LIKE A BABY

But not like a new mother. Your anxiety may prove to hard to control, seeping into any sleep that you do have and stopping you from taking care of yourself. Even though you’re doing a really good job, you’re still eclipsed by guilt or feelings of worthlessness. You might even start to wish you were not here or that death might be your only way out.

Sound familiar? Then get that red flag out and start waving it.

NOT SURE HOW TO GO ABOUT GETTING HELP?

t’s a tough one — this might help: the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale is a screening tool designed to detect postnatal depression in new mothers. At First Time Mama, we’re not medical specialists or doctors and we’re not giving a diagnosis. We’re simply signposting a resource that could be useful. If you’re in doubt, you might want to give the test a go. For your reference, a score of greater than 13 indicates that you might benefit from a proper medical assessment. See your doctor. See your health visitor.

WHY, OH WHY?

No idea. There is no absolute reason why it happens to some women and not others, but here are some contributing factors:

Hormones — After childbirth, you will experience a huge drop in oestrogen and progesterone levels. You may also experiencefatigue and depression from a drop in thyroid levels, as well as changes in blood pressure, your immune system and your metabolism.

Painful sack of spuds — You get used to your pregnancy body over 9 months but your post-baby body is with you instantly. It can be as emotionally challenging to carry around baby weight that won’t shift as it can be to heal from a serious tear. When you can’t even count on your own body for support, it’s harsh.

How did I get this job? — Having a baby is quite mad. There is no interview process — it was harder to get your first part-time job, right? — and you’re left to get on with the job, armed with nothing more than intuition, a few books (that disagree with each other) and all sorts of advice from those around you. It’s reasonable to be anxious, to feel overwhelmed and undone.

OR IS IT JUST WAITING TO HAPPEN?

It might be more likely that some women get Postnatal Depression than others, although it’s not a given. If you have a history of depression, you’ll already be well aware of it but you may not be aware of your family history. It might help to chat things through with a family member.

Your own security and state of mind can make a real difference to your experience as a first-time mum. An insecure or abusive relationship or wondering where the next penny will come from will put you under enormous stress at an already very stressful time. One more thing to consider is your own medical history. If you had to cease taking medication because of pregnancy, you might want to discuss this with your doctor as it can add to the risk of Postnatal Depression.

There are many things that you can do to help you cope with Postnatal Depression but that’s for another time. What you need to do before that is to let your partner know that you need some help and support. Instead of rendering yourself hysterical in front of him, we’ve created a First Time Mama post, called ‘I Don’t Know How To Tell Him’ so that you can use our words to express what you need to say.

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