How to become more assertive
By: Cadie Cadie
Tags: Leadership, Improvement, Life Lessons, Life

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Assertiveness is an excellent skill both for managing your relationship with others and managing your relationship with yourself. It is a key to better and quicker decision making and faster and more productive actions.

When you are assertive, you are self-assured and draw power from this to get your point across firmly. It is not easy to become more assertive, but it is possible.

Change Your Mindset.

Becoming more assertive first requires you to change your mindset. The assertive mindset, expressed simply, is I=You, which means that you should see yourself equal with the person we are communicating with regardless of what they are and who they are.

Being likeable is under your control, and it is a matter of emotional intelligence. An assertive person always uses a fluid and steady communication style. If you feel you are an assertive, likeable person, you will act like one.

Everyone admires assertive versus aggressive people. Assertive people state their opinions, while still being respectful of others. Aggressive people attack or ignore others’ opinions in favor of their own. “The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behaviors affect the rights and well being of others.” — The Assertive Advantage Book

Understand and Accept Differences.

Assertiveness doesn’t mean being dismissive of other people’s points of view, sometimes your way is not always the best one. When we get to learn about others, keep a great open mind to respect the similarities and differences. When we get to learn so much about the world and about ourselves, it opens the doors to many other opportunities.

Try to see things from their point of view and show them your point of view. We can tell someone we think they are wrong, but we can do it in a polite manner. “I understand your view, but I believe it’s this way because…” Nothing is wrong with that. Remember assertive individuals are able to get their point across without upsetting others, or becoming upset themselves.

Practice the Gracious ‘No’. Be Assertive and Courteous.

Most people confuse saying ‘no’ with negativity because they fear facing people’s disappointment. It’s simple human nature. We all like to be agreeable, we want to protect our relationships, and we want to be kind.

Sometimes we will feel regretful with the decisions we have haphazardly made, so change the mindset from trying to please others into making an effort to focus on the good that will come when you are ready to say no without the regret or guilt you feel about turning someone down.

But learning to say no can earn you respect from yourself as well those around you and the ability to say no is closely linked to self-confidence. Saying no confidently is an important part of being assertive.

Live Life According to Your Values.

You need to spend time identifying your values. Once you start living by your values, you are tapping into what is deeply meaningful and significant for you and life shifts in the most beautiful of ways.

When your values are clearer to you, decisions become clearer and you know and understand what is most important to you. You are confident in the work you deliver and your sense of professionalism. And then you like and have a great relationship with people.

Conclusions

“Assertiveness is your ability to act in harmony with your self-esteem without hurting others.” — The Crisis Book

As you become more assertive, your relationships will become more enjoyable. You will naturally become more confident to drop the mask, show your true self and proclaim: “This is who I am, this is what I feel, and these are my needs.”

Try the above mentioned things and I hope they serve as a help to you. You will easily become an assertive person in every relationship.

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