You know you’re a Socialist when …
By: Jeffrey Denny
Tags: Commentary, Socialism, Politics, Political Satire, Humor

Rest in Appreciation Todd Kimsey/Seinfeld’s “Communist” Ned Isakoff

You know you’re a Socialist when …

Jeffrey Denny

America hates Socialism.

Many say that’s why Worst President Trump inexplicably won 73 million popular votes, Republicans gained U.S. Congress and state house seats, and the “Blue Wave” was more surf park than Katrina.

The GOP message that all Democrats are creeping Socialists obviously was a voter scare tactic. But it worked by spooking blue-collar working class and blue-blood wealthy class alike into fearing that an AOC Socialist lurks under every bed.

Many old white Republican men wish AOC lurked under their beds. But even non-sickos believe moderate Democrat Joe Biden is a Socialist sock puppet and the Socialists are coming with taxes and regulations to take away our freedoms and monies, as history says they are wont to do. Do your research! as Trumpy Facebook posters declare.

If you’re personally worried you might be a Socialist, or have a friend, family member, neighbor or colleague you’re dying to rat out for their own good and American patriot democracy reeducation camp, look for these telltale signs:

1. Socialists love government money.

For instance, you received and cashed a windfall $1,200 Trump stimulus check, like millions of Trump voters did.

Or you have a small or Fortune 500 business and got a Covid stimulus Paycheck Protection Program loan. Or you kept your job because your employer got that money. Since the loan is forgiven if spent properly, that’s scot-free government money.

You’re a Socialist if you benefited whatsoever like the vast majority of Americans from the trillion-dollar government Covid stimulus and debt.

Or maybe you’re a struggling white Trump voter who hates Democrat Socialist government welfare handouts and not realize poor whites get a lot more than even poorer minorities, but resent them anyway.

You’re conflicted because in spite of indisputable factual disproof, you still believe wealthy right-wing media “personalities” who say that handing out taxpayer money to fellow Americans who need help threatens America’s economic freedom. The nonpartisan Townhall.com explains this in “Wealth Redistribution: The Gateway to Socialism.”

2. Socialists love getting more than they give.

Townhall.com broke down the evil of Socialism: “Wealth redistribution involves the government taking money from those who are ‘producing more than they are consuming’ and giving that money to those who are ‘consuming more than they are producing’.”

For instance, if you live in a Trump-voting “taker” Red State, you consume far more government money than you will ever produce. While Biden-voting “giver” Blue States produce far more than they consume, and bail out the Red States.

As New York Governor Andrew Cuomo respectfully informed U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, New York gave America $116 billion more than it took, while Kentucky took $148 billion more than it gave.

Guess who got the most Covid stimulus money? (Hint: Covid denial states.)

“In the initial $150 billion given to states from the stimulus package, which was allocated by population, New York got less than $24,000 per positive case while Alaska received over $3.3 million,” a WalletHub comparison found.

Of the 15 “most federally dependent states,” which sounds Socialist, 13 voted for Trump.

3. Socialists love government-subsidized energy.

It’s cheaper to heat your home and gas your 12 mpg Ram truck thanks to the $15–20 billion in annual taxpayer fossil fuel subsidies for drillers and miners.

4. Socialists love government-subsidized food.

Groceries also are cheaper thanks to federal farm subsidies, which rose to $28 billion in 2019–20.

“Trump money is what we call it,” said a Missouri soybean farmer hit by climate-driven floods and Trump’s trade war on China that stopped its soybean imports. “It helped a lot. And it’s my understanding, they’re going to do it again.”

5. Socialists love government-subsidized healthcare.

Maybe you love Trumpcare because it was imaginary all along and hate Obamacare, Berniecare or Bidencare because you thought you hated Socialized healthcare.

You sure don’t want the government telling you to pay for a stranger’s care, even if they’re paying for yours. E pluribus unum is what Socialists say, but as the lawyers say, you have caveats.

For example, if you or a loved one can’t afford the $1,000 hospitalization per day for Covid intensive care because you’ve expressed your freedom not to wear a mask, then you might love Socialized healthcare.

All healthcare is socialized. That’s why few Americans pay the actual medical costs they incur. The cost is spread out like State Farm makes good drivers cover idiot drivers.

Medicare certainly is Socialized healthcare. Contrary to myth, we take at least twice what we give over our lifetimes. A lot more if we have a major injury or surgery, cancer or a chronic disease like diabetes.

A surprise to some, private health plans are also big-time Socialized healthcare, since they cost taxpayers some $250 billion a year as employers write off the expense of covering their people — current, retired and on permanent disability.

Medicaid, VA, Children’s Health Insurance and other government coverage of course are Socialized.

The uninsured also get Socialized healthcare. Who pays when you’re not covered and have no money but Chicago Med saves your lives anyway? We all do.

Obviously, there is good Socialism and bad Socialism.

Good Socialism is when government helps you because you believe you deserve it.

Bad Socialism is when government helps someone else that you don’t believe deserves it.

As Americans, we have the God-given Constitutional freedom to decide what Socialism we love or hate, even if we look like foolish selfish hypocrites.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.