Dear Hasbro, What’s Up with MASK?
By: The Roarbots
Tags: Masks, Kenner, Hasbro, Toys

Dear Hasbro,

It’s been a while, but can we talk? I should begin by telling you that MASK is my second-favorite toy of all time. Kenner’s original Star Wars toys and action figures were, are, and forever will be my #1, but MASK? It comes in a really close second.

I adored the toys as a kid (still have them all, including the mega-awesome Boulder Hill), loved the cartoon (and still do, despite its flaws), and collected the few comics that DC put out back in the day. And I also enjoyed the heck out of IDW’s comic run.

Yeah, OK, even as a kid, I knew the erroneous K in “Mobile Armored Strike Kommand” was a bit forced, but I didn’t care because everything about MASK was just pure awesome.

So a few years ago, when you announced that you were creating a cohesive cross-property film universe populated by MASK, G.I. Joe, Micronauts, Visionaries, and Rom got me pretty excited. The fact that you lined up a surprisingly talented creative crew to support those films had me hopeful. Seriously, the thought of people like Michael Chabon, Nicole Perlman, and Brian K. Vaughan all working on these properties? Geeky tingles up and down my spine.

Then, about a year ago, we got word that MASK and Rom were abruptly dumped from the lineup. It was as if a million nerd’s hearts suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

But here we are, years later, and there are STILL no MASK toys. What gives?

The fine folks at Hasbro have never let something as trivial as the existence of a film stop them from putting out toys and action figures, right? Why do we have about a dozen Star Wars and Transformers lines, pumping out the same characters in endless variations, but not even a single Matt Trakker, Miles Mayhem, or T-Bob?

MASK toys shaped so many of my childhood days, and the mere prospect of new MASK toys has excited both the 8-year-old and the adult in me far more than is probably reasonable.

I get it. Nostalgia for the 80s is hot right now. We 30- and 40-something nerds have deeper pockets than ever before, and we’re willing to spend our money on some seriously questionable things. But you know what? Many of us are also parents who — plot twist! — would like some awesome toys for our kids.

I say all this because I really want to see toys from my childhood, Star Wars notwithstanding, once again made into toys that are meant to be played with. Sure, I went through my collector’s phase where I saw toys as an investment and kept the packaging pristine, but my kids now have free reign over all of my old toys (including all of my vintage MASK toys), current eBay prices be damned. Did the Toy Story trilogy teach us nothing?

Please don’t do what Mattel and Matty Collector did with Masters of the Universe. Please don’t do what so many companies (including other segments of Hasbro) have done. Don’t go the “collector’s market” route.

If MASK toys make a comeback as an exclusive, high-end product, then I’m afraid you’ve missed the point. The entire charm of MASK is that the vehicles transform. Push a button, and that jet turns into a helicopter or that motorcycle sidecar launches off as a submarine. And the action figures? They wear super awesome masks that are meant to be popped on and off.

Yes, in the hands of kids, the vehicles will probably break, and yes, the masks will probably go missing — but that’s absolutely fine! It means they’ve been loved. And as a parent, it means that was money well spent.

None of the vehicles will transform if they’re so precious they remain inside a box. And they won’t bring joy to an entire generation or ignite a love affair that continues 30 years later (I’m Exhibit A) if they’re so expensive that no child will ever touch one.

There are plenty of toys for adults — plenty of limited edition action figures and statues that cost an arm and a leg and are never meant to actually be played with. So line the toy aisles with the stuff, and make them affordable. Take a cue from Fisher-Price and their Imaginext brand. Those toys dominate an entire aisle! And have you noticed how relatively inexpensive they are? That’s what I’m talking about.

Give me toys my kids can not only build worlds with but also destroy and play with outside. I don’t want to feel guilty about letting them actually play with their toys. And I certainly don’t want to feel like I’m dipping into their college fund just so Matt Trakker can fight VENOM.

But in the end, I just want to see MASK live on.

Thanks for listening! Hugs and kisses,

Jamie (and Jamie’s kids)