The Importance of Trust
By: Joseph M. Learned
Tags: Sex, Life, Relationships, Love, Trust

Better sex, more attraction, and higher confidence all come from a strong sense of trust.

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”

― George MacDonald

Trust, like anything else of value, is hard to earn. And yet, the pursuit of trust is more worthwhile than any other in your relationship. Trust is the vine of which your relationship will grow off of. Relationships are volatile by nature. Our senses are heightened and our emotions are amped.

The irony of this is that it is the presence of trust in which we feel nothing. We are able to pursue our professional and personal goals in peace, while the absence of trust haunts our minds with intrusive and obsessive thoughts.

Trust must be built in the beginning stages of the relationship.

We decide the majority of our opinion of someone based on first impressions. We see that man sitting across the road from us, reading whatever message he received on his phone. A brown, thin-rimmed pair of reading glasses dangles off his nose. He’s in his early to mid-twenties, medium-length well-kept hair, slim-fitting blue jeans, and a white t-shirt. A black backpack is slung over his right shoulder.

A possible perception is as follows: a young man, coming from or going about his daily responsibilities. Possibly a student, possibly a professional. He cares about his appearance, enough so to coordinate and maintain his appearance.

Apart from that, seems like the typical young adult.

This is all we know of him. And yet, this is likely enough information for us to have already gathered an opinion on him. Maybe we like him. Maybe we don’t.

This type of judgment is a natural part of human social interaction.

We are simple, judgmental, and visually stimulated creatures.

Trust will boost your confidence.

A lack of trust can often be attributed to a lack of perceived value in one’s self.

It is hard to see the good in others if we are unable to see the good in ourselves.

If you wish to get your partner to trust you more, you must first address whatever it is that is lowering their self-esteem. Often times it can be attributed to talking negatively about yourself.

Talking negatively about yourself gets your mind into the habit of allowing negative self-perceptions to be allowed through the ‘confidence filter.’

If you are able to change the way you talk and think about yourself (even if done forcibly — as if you are lying to yourself) then you will change the way you see the world.

The world is a blank slate. There are equal parts good and evil. It is up to you to decide how you perceive your own life. There will be naturally negative parts in your life and there will be naturally positive parts. You need to decide how to place more value into the positive parts than you do in the negative parts.

Trust builds attraction.

When you trust your partner, they trust you.

Relationships are often (rightly-so) compared to rollercoasters. There are ups and downs and everything in-between.

If you want your relationship to make it through the pitfalls of life, then you have to trust that your partner has your back.

If you are unable to develop this trust, then perhaps the relationship is naturally distrustful. However, before deciding that this is the case, try to identify what is causing the distrust. This could be the result of past infidelity, or perhaps something as simple as a lack of confidence, as mentioned above.

Nothing is more attractive than a reliable partner.

Our lives are stressful enough, as is. The last thing we need is to gain additional stress from the one part of our lives that is supposed to provide us with relief and satisfaction.

It will even improve your sex.

Stress isn’t great for sex. If you want to have good sex, then you need to feel good emotions. Doubting yourself and comparing yourself to your partner’s past lovers (or those who pursue them) will only do damage to yourself.

If they’re in the past, then they’re gone. History.

If they’re hitting on your partner, then all you need to do is to remember that they are with you and not them.

Sex is based on attraction and trust.

You need to trust that your partner will not harm you. You are exposing yourself in your entirety to another human who is very capable of causing you physical harm. Trust is inherently an important part of sex.

When you trust your partner, you are able to lose yourself in them. You are able to feel the present and ignore everything else.

Through a strong sense of trust, you are able to build a healthy sex life and a stronger relationship. The latter cannot exist without the former.

Learn to love yourself so that you can love another.