What I Learned About Life And Confidence From Korean Gangsters
By: David Choi
Tags: Life Lessons, Power, Strength, Confidence

Before I continue I need to take a slight detour. When I was little I was a pretty shy quiet kid. But at the same time I was very observant. Without me realizing it, I would study people and tried to understand the meaning behind their behaviors. In particular, when my parents would have a Gae, it’s a sort of party where people come and lend you money, I would watch the adults and judge them. One oddity that I could not understand is the middle aged Korean man. On the one hand they go through life so aware of hierarchy and social standing. And yet with all this mental exercise they couldn’t have an imaginative thought if it smacked them in the face. To them every idea is useless or stupid if it does not bring money or acknowledgement. And the thought of planning something is a total waste of time. Again, I’m referring to the period thirty or forty years ago. People entering middle age now, don’t behave like this (well, they behave less like this).

What does a middle aged Korean man have to do with gangsters? Actually going from that person to the gangster is not as much of a stretch as you might think. Take that crude individual who only thinks about improving their social standing and robotically executes the behaviors that he believes will get him there. And push that out to the extremes, where they think even less and spend more of their energy on action. There you have it, the Korean gangster.

To somebody who’s never been punched in the face it may seem like a good idea to plan before a fight. Think about the opponent and come up with a strategy. Umm, no. Unless you like getting punched in the face don’t do it. Worrying and coming up with ideas about what you’re going to do is the last thing you do before a fight with fifty other people. As mentioned these are not fair fights. Well then what do the successful guys, the gangsters that win fights, do then? They just never think at all. I’m not talking about things like what do I want to eat or man when he kicked me in the head that hurt. Of course they have those thoughts. I’m talking about thoughts that normal people have. Thoughts like woh, that guys a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier than me, he might kill me. Or it’s thirty against three, should I run? In other words they just don’t doubt. They don’t worry. They don’t come up with scenarios about what could go wrong and how awful it could be. Or wonder why bad things keep happening to them. They’re always confident. Always sure. And when they expend energy it’s not in thought it’s in action. You’ve gotta respect that.

So then being a person with no imagination, you’re saying can be a good thing? A person who simply follows the rules. When they see someone higher in the social hierarchy they bow. When someone is lower they change their language to informal. When a fist comes to their head they move and then counter. When it’s two guys they shift to the side and then hit the left guy first. Whatever that moment requires they do. This lack of imagination and simple reactive behavior also means a lack of worry. A lack of doubt. A lack of awkward social situations, due to uncertainty. I can remember when I was little my dad and his friends used to laugh at depressed people and call them crazy. “Depression! That’s so stupid! What is that? People with too much time on their hands.” They couldn’t fathom it. To be clear, I am not applauding the gangster’s life choices. I’m saying that even in this odd world of ignorance and overconfidence, there is something one can learn.

I believe that all energy has limits. Just because we do not move physically and instead think, worry, fear, doubt — does not mean we are not expending energy. Clearly we are and to our own detriment. But these guys conserve their energy for the fight. Instead of using it worrying and stressing. They just don’t think about it. They walk around in total confidence. Only when the fight is on do they start tapping into their energy. But instead of doing it with thought and anxiety, they do it by reacting logically to external inputs. And to me this is a metaphor for life. Life doesn’t care what you think about right or wrong. It does not care if you’re ready or not. If you deserved it. And at times, it will even throw multiple problems at you all at once. We need to control our energy spend by controlling our mind. You can’t use it up on worry and doubt and then expect it to be there for your imagination and planning. For your decisiveness and action. When you need to move, you just move. When the bus is coming to run you over, you can’t be standing there offended by the unfairness of it or if only your mom had treated you better maybe this would have never happened. You need to move.