Wait, what? Aphantasia is what?! This is crazy!
Tags: Aphantasia, Visualization, Minds Eye, Imagination

Photo by pan xiaozhen on Unsplash

Aphantasia is blindness of the “mind’s eye.” There has been a lot of discussion about it going around social media lately. Most people who have aphantasia go years (or their entire lives) without knowing it because they are getting along just fine using the other senses and abilities they do have. You literally cannot tell that someone has aphantasia just by looking at how they behave or what they are able to achieve.

There are people with aphantasia who are highly-successful in every profession, including visual artists, actors, writers, mathematicians, and any other profession where “visualization” seems essential. So, what is it? Buckle up, because whether or not you have aphantasia this is going to sound crazy.

Let’s test your “mind’s eye,” right now!

There are various online/viral “tests” that people take, which can be wildly-limited and confusing, but are at least a good start. Let’s take a few now.

Close your eyes and picture yourself on a beach. Then describe it out loud. Maybe you said you saw blue water, golden brown sand, maybe some beachgoers building a sand castle. If you saw anything as descriptive as that, then you do not have aphantasia. Most people visualize something. Not the same thing, but something.

When I do it, I see nothing but black. I have no mental imagery. The only images I see are through my eyes. If my eyes are shut, I see black. I have aphantasia.

OK… now another test. Maybe you saw nothing with your eyes closed, but you can create a similar mental image with your eyes open (in addition to the real world image in front of you). Some people describe this as an “overlaid image.” Some people say it’s kind of up in the air, maybe to one side. Some people say it’s behind their eyes, and then point to the top of their head. If this is you, then you do have a functioning “mind’s eye” even if you can’t do the same thing with your eyes shut. Again, I see nothing but the world in front of me thru my eyes. I have aphantasia.

Now another test… picture your husband, wife, child, grandma, or best friend. Are you picturing them? I mean really, do you see their image in addition to the world in front of you? I don’t mean “see” with your eyes, I’m asking if you “visualize” them in your “mind’s eye,” like a picture but in your head. Most people can do this. I can’t. I have aphantasia.

If you made any of these images above in your “mind’s eye” was it difficult to maintain it? Maybe you saw great detail, but the image disappeared quickly. If so, you still have a working “mind’s eye” even if other people can hold that image indefinitely. Someone like me, with full blindness in the “mind’s eye,” does not even get the flash of an image. I have no ability to make/see images in my mind, for any amount of time, with eyes open or eyes shut. I have aphantasia.

Was that crazy?! Are you in denial yet?

If you never knew about aphantasia, you are possibly blown away right now for one of two reasons. It’s either… “I had no idea there were people who couldn’t visualize,” or, like me, “I had no idea that other people can actually do this!”

Or maybe you think it’s some sort of misunderstanding! I mean clearly, people don’t create images in their mind, right? Says the person who can’t do it! Or… clearly everyone can make images! Says the person who can. There must just be some confusion about what we mean by the word “see” or the word “image” because we’re all exactly the same… right?

And here we are at last! This is the jaw-dropping moment where we realize we are not all the same. And it’s mind-blowing!

My coming to grips with having aphantasia

All my life I have had aphantasia, complete blindness of the “mind’s eye,” and never knew it until a few days ago. Like any good plot twist, all the clues were there but I missed them! Now I have to reconsider everything.

I’ve always thought phrases like “mental image” or “mind’s eye” were figures of speech, like saying that someone has a “green thumb.” Now I’m learning that most people actually look at images in their mind, inspect them, change them. For some, it’s as clear as any photo. And it’s fundamental to how they live.

Now I understand why other people are sometimes frustrated if I can’t give them details about the past. They’re used to pulling up a mental image. If I didn’t notice something at the time, I can’t just look back at a mental image. Does this sound weird to you? For me, this is normal.

Coaches have often told me things like “imagine the ball hitting your bat?” I didn’t think this was a literal thing. I thought it was poetic way of saying, “ponder this and have confidence.” Visualization exercises? I just saw black. I thought everyone did.

Here’s a really good (and funny) article describing another person’s experience discovering they have aphantasia, and all the crazy realizations that come from it:

Still not sure if you do/don’t have aphantasia?

It’s okay. There’s a spectrum.

If you’re on the zero end of that spectrum, like me, you’re probably almost ready to believe you have aphantasia but to be honest, the idea of people creating images in their minds still sounds too far-fetched to be literally true. On the other end, if you can visualize images as detailed as any photo, then you’re probably very sure you don’t have aphantasia but are still incredibly skeptical that others really and truly can’t visualize anything because seriously, how on Earth could they possibly function normally?!

But there also seem to be a lot of people in the middle and that’s super confusing to them and everyone else trying to sort this out because:

Everyone starts out assuming there’s a misunderstanding and you are really the same as they are. All the language we have to describe this gets understood differently by each person to match their experience. Words like “see” and “remember” become quite slippery. People with a working “mind’s eye” have differing abilities and when you talk to multiple people you get inconsistent answers.

I have talked to enough people who “see” images as detailed as any photo to know that this is not a misunderstanding, even if you or people you know “see” less.

People who visualize have differing abilities

As far as I’ve been able to figure out, (remember, I can’t visualize!), here are some of the key differences for people who have some ability to visualize:

Some people can visualize an image as detailed as any photo. Other people visualize with less detail. Those people sometimes describe it as more of a silhouette or impression of an image.

Some people can hold an image indefinitely in their mind. Other people get a flash of an image, sometimes very detailed, but then it’s gone.

Some people can only visualize with their eyes shut. Others can only visualize with their eyes open. Many can do either/both.

Some people have to “work hard” to visualize. Others visualize involuntarily, dozens of time a day.

Some people visualize in vivid color. Other people visualize in washed out colors, or no color at all.

Some people can only visualize what they’ve seen in the past. Other people can conjure up entirely new images of their own imagination.

Some people can manipulate the images in their minds, wildly-so, like a CAD or CGI program running in their head. Others can’t.

Some people can replay entire moments from their past, “like a movie,” in their mind’s eye. Some of those people actually re-experience these replayed moments, including their emotions and with some or all of their senses including sound, touch, and smell. Others can’t replay events like this at all.

So, who has aphantasia and who doesn’t?

I don’t even know who decides that. I think people like me, at the zero end of the spectrum, can say without reservation they have aphantasia. I’m not going to pretend I have the authority to grant or deny that label to folks in the middle of the spectrum.

Some last random things to think about, for people with aphantasia

Here are some of the things I’m reconsidering with my new understanding of the “mind’s eye…”

Kids who see “monsters under the bed” are actually seeing things. Same goes for imaginary friends!

People who have PTSD may be suffering immensely more than I even thought.

Most people get an incredibly different experience from reading a book than I do. Same for Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering, and other fantasy games I found uninteresting. And remember the original Zork from the 80s?? I might have loved it even more.

Cartoon thought bubbles with pictures inside are referring to the “mind’s eye.”

Movie flashbacks are more literal than I thought. And the Vulcan mind-meld on Star Trek is way more literal and less far-fetched, too.

When some people are not quick to forgive, maybe they are replaying past events in their mind. I can see how that would make it harder.

People really do have a “happy place.” They made it and see it in their mind and can experience being there when they need to.

Daydreaming is a more literal thing than I thought.

There you go! That’s all I’ve figured out so far. I plan to make changes to this page in the future as I continue to learn and ponder things.