Use The 5/5/5 Rule To Unlock Your Focus And Build Up Discipline
By: Jim Woods
Tags: Self-awareness, Productivity, Creativity, Life Lessons, Self Improvement

Use The 5/5/5 Rule To Unlock Your Focus And Build Up Discipline

Four powerful questions to help you improve your life

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Feeling stuck? Maybe lacking focus? Need some more discipline in your life?

I can help you out with that. And it won’t take much time at all either.

Here’s how we can do it: perspective. Perspective is very powerful. It’s probably one of the most powerful things you can ever give yourself. It’s why you hire a coach or get a mentor to help you grow. They give you perspective that you cannot find on your own. Honestly, it’s even why many people hire a counselor too. That and sometimes we don’t trust ourselves fully.

So, what if you could unlock a new perspective just with a few simple questions? The good news is you can. Allow me to share with you something I call the 5/5/5 Rule. It’s simple but also extremely powerful.

Enter The Shockingly Simple 5/5/5 Rule

I almost hesitate to call this a rule, but it really works. Just like the “Golden Rule.” It’s a good guide that you can just apply and use to get some results. So, without further ado, the 5/5/5 Rule is based on these 3 simple questions:

How will you feel about something 5 minutes from now? How will you feel about something 5 months from now? How will you feel about something 5 years from now?

You can apply these questions to pretty much anything. I’m going to use myself as example here, but I have a feeling I’m not alone with these struggles. Before we start, a disclaimer of sorts: you have to be totally honest with yourself. No sugarcoating, no half-truths. You must really be willing to dig deep and even dive back into your past in order to have the answer that you need in order to move forward. Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming. Let’s look at a few examples of the 5/5/5 Rule in action.

4 Examples Of The 5/5/5 Rule In Action

For example, you could ask… how will you feel 5 minutes from now if you eat that Oreo pie? Personally, I know I’ll feel like a bear that got shot with a tranquilizer dart (or two.) Let’s just say you won’t want to around me. The only options are to eat more of the pie or to immediately take a nap.

So, the first question of the 5/5/5 Rule clearly tells me it’s best to not eat any of the Oreo pie. If I slip up and eat one piece, I know that I need to stop myself there, or I’m likely going to want more of the pie. The pattern has been established. I often rationalize and say, “It’s a special occasion,” or “It’s a small piece.” But those are just excuses that enable me to eat more than I should. Yes, I’m an Oreo pie addict of sorts. Some sweets just make me want more. If you struggle with sweets too, maybe you need to answer these same questions as well.

How will you feel if you go on Facebook 5 minutes from now? I don’t know about you, but I’ll probably be distracted, annoyed, or envious. Anytime I have a very positive experience on Facebook it’s almost always on Messenger, connecting with a human being directly. That tells me it would be a much better idea to text or call a friend directly (or just use messenger) instead of going on Facebook.

How will you feel five months from now if you work with that client you don’t really trust? I’ve actually done this one too. I share some of how that went right here. Spoiler alert: I busted my butt for about five months only to get fired without being told I was fired. I believe the proper term is “being ghosted.” Ouch. Thankfully, I learned a lot from the ordeal and grew a lot from the experience. Next time I don’t trust a client, I’m running the other way.

How will you feel about that new shiny toy or gadget you want 5 years from now? Before I answer this, please know I’m not saying a new toy or gadget is a bad thing. I’m just saying that 5 years from now gives you a lot of perspective. Will that item be in a box or a drawer? Will it still have any value at all? Some of the questions that pop up from the original question will help you decide if something is a good idea or maybe you should reconsider.

When I focus on a new tool or tech gadget and it’s almost always a bit of a distraction from the thing I really want to be doing. For example, I was convinced that I needed an iMac to get more writing done. The bigger screen would be good, and I’d be more productive. But the reality is that was just a distraction. I bought an iPad so I could write on it. Turns out the iPad is not good for writing at all. I now ask myself these questions as much as possible with tech gadgets.

You might not know how you will feel about something 5 years from now. That’s totally fair. There is something else you can try that you’ll find very helpful. And it’s just one super simple question that cuts through the fluff like a light saber.

A Plan B Of Sorts

I know that it is possible that a specific time frame might not answer your question. If that is the case, ask this: “What would you tell your best friend in the same situation?”

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Any way you can help yourself think of the consequences — whether good, bad, or indifferent — will give you more clarity as you move forward.

Oftentimes we do things that we know do not make us feel good in hopes that somehow, magically, things will change and work in our favor. Social media comes to mind. But the reality is that the more you use social media, the more likely you are to struggle with depression and anxiety. If your friend comes to you and says, “I’m feeling anxious… often when I use Facebook. What do you recommend?” What would you say? It’s amazing how much clarity you can have when you use this simple approach.

Putting Everything Together

When you combine the 5/5/5 Rule with the best friend question, you’ve got some serious tools in your toolbox. You can build a fresh, new perspective. You’ll suddenly have more clarity and focus. Don’t settle for staying stuck. Spend a few minutes answering these tough questions, and then you’ll be able to move forward.