A Public Diary During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 Pandemic ~ Day 77
By: Joe Culhane
Tags: Poetry, Gratitude, Love, Covid Diaries, Pandemic Diaries

I still have so much unlearning to do

so much to unpack

to de-colonize

untangle

so that I may be put back together

without the imbedded problematic perpetuation

of these horrific and unjust systems of oppression

I surrender in this uncomfortable space and recognize

I was filled to the brim with white programming

leading me to believe my life was normal as a youth,

that all people lived in a shared version of reality

a story that was so immersive it took a long time

to even realize it was there, the it being privilege

Privilege I did not earn,

that came at tremendous cost

on the backs of black and brown bodies

who for centuries were forced into slavery

and to this day live in a perpetual state of jeopardy

The responses of late were clearly inevitable

for equal rights for all people were never indelible

The path forward is not a mystery or unclear

the real challenge is how to deliver the message

needed for the great portions of white people in denial

and deeply unconsciously connected to their fragility

which only exacerbates this complex of superiority

I am not immune to this particular virus either,

which leaves me compromised to still infect others

with cases to continue this tragically divisive trajectory

We’ve past the threshold of that sentimental state

where wishful thinking and cherry picking isolated examples

attempted to justify that we are any where close to a post

racist world and now everything is totally fine and copacetic

That trope gives false hope and in truth leads some astray

left to relax on their couches thinking everything is (or was) okay

Though now, it is literally being burned to the ground

this expression has leapt from hyperbole to reality

So, my fellow white friends, family, and folk,

what are we to do from here you may be wondering

well I don’t dare claim to have all the answers or even

necessarily the “right” path to point us towards

What I can offer is we all take a slice of that humble pie

get real honest with ourselves, and vulnerable, too

for this place we’re at together isn’t one that will be

a space of healing and forgiveness kindly facilitated

by people of color. That’s not their role, it is ours

By all means though, listen, and listen some more,

to the voices and stories of black and brown women,

men, trans, gay, lesbian, non-binary, and all those

actual, real live people who make up the concept of diversity

so that you can see from the non-dominant perspective

why shit has gotten so fucked up, to put it bluntly

A big giant yes to kindness and compassion right now,

while also an even bigger, much greater surrender to

the practice of placing less importance on the old lessons,

they brought us to this very point after all, didn’t they?

We’re all collectively living through traumatic times,

together we suffer and struggle with the hardship and unknown

while we are asked to still do our best to stay apart,

let us also be willing to unite in a difficult understanding

that what we had is gone and in many ways, good riddance

now and after the burning ceases and the dust of revolution settles

we can create anew and welcome in all the wonderful examples

of community resilience, resource sharing, mutual aid,

and holding the most in need up for we have learned and do well

to remember that we are only as strong as our weakest parts

so may we make our way through this trying time

and see that it is filled with tremendous opportunities

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I find myself once again at that cusp time between the days. It’w a little after 12am and technically June 1st, the year 2020. However, I’ve been awake for the stretch of day that was May 31st and I’ll be falling asleep, very soon I might add, and then wake up and it will still be June 1st so we an almost basically still talk as though this is the last day of May?

I’m coming to a quick realization as I swiftly drift in and out of sleep while attempting to write these words that I am once again going to have to keep this entry a wee bit shorter than much of my previous posts. What can I add though before I arrive fully in the village of slumber? Well, we re-recorded my son reading A is for Activist which turned out rather well. For premium quality I’m going to ask him to read a couple of the words and/or lines once more just to really take it up to the next level. I will put together a video soon for it that we can ask permission from the publishers of this children’s book to share. And in the meantime, yesterday’s reading and video we created of him performing The Alphabet Girl I’m pleased to be able to share here, I just uploaded it to YouTube a few minutes ago. I had originally just uploaded it to Facebook and that’s all good and fine, but that does leave out a fair amount of people who can have access to this sweetness.

This is a dose of adorable you may be interested in taking in, whether you’ve got kids or not…

Beyond this, today had a sauna and another welcome day of yoga. We’re going on 6 weeks straight or so of this regular practice of the daily yoga and I’m pretty sure it is the primary factor for holding my shit together. Meanwhile, I avoided all news and social media for most of the day which was a self care decision I’m glad to have done. The world is changing fast and the American Empire is showing its cracks are starting to crumble. It shall be so fascinating to witness while participating in what comes next for this land mass that has been loosely tied together this past 250 years or thereabouts. The most prominent challenge to my cognition is the question of the need for police forces any more. This institution seems to have so far proven to be not such a great thing for humanity. I know people love them some law and order and all that but maybe we can do things differently moving forward?

I’ll wind down with that to ponder more as I retreat to slumbers cabin. Rest well and take care of yourselves. We’re in for one helluva a ride this summer and beyond…