Chasing a Feeling/Dream
By: The Tonkinese
Tags: Finding Love, Motivational, Blog, Myanmar, Writing

Being consistent is one of the toughest things I’ve come across. Consistently working out, consistently fasting, consistently eating healthy, just to name a few. I can’t say I haven’t improved, the me now is much better than the me 2 or 3 years ago. Heck, I’m so much more different than the me a year ago. Yet here I am again, I checked the date and the last time I wrote was 10th November. It’s post-Christmas now!

That being said, a new year is almost upon us. Somehow, through all the madness throughout 2020, the world is coming full circle again. The older I get, the faster time seems to fly. So much happened this year. COVID-19, lockdowns, elections, and tragic celebrity deaths. Hmm … seems like the world really is just going in circles. We’re all chasing someone or something and sooner rather than later, we come to realize that we’re chasing a dream. It’s never about the end, but the means to it. It’s not the finish line, its the race. The journey is what gives us true happiness and we often forget this. We focus far too much on the reward, that life passes us by and with it the actual reward.

Imagine finding a person you like, but you’re too scared to talk to them. One day you muster up all your courage and finally strike up a conversation. Turns out they’re not at all how you imagined them to be, but more. You feel safe in them. You feel like you’ve unlocked the secrets to the universe. Your world turns upside down and what you think you knew, you never really knew until you knew them. You can spend hours talking to them, they make you smile, they make you laugh and they make you cry too. At the end of the day, you would rather be with them than with anyone anywhere else. They’re home to you, the warmth and love you did not know you were looking for.

Now know this, none of that lies in this one person becoming your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife. Its in the journey together, even before together. That feeling when you were too scared to go talk to them, when you started talking, how the happy days and sad days went by. The day you finally proposed to them that set off a whole new chapter to your lives. When you meet that someone, the journey is never ending. Trust me, I’ve tried and I’ve failed. I closed my eyes one day, stopped looking and that’s when I found her. The someone I’ve always needed, yet could never find when I was looking. Look inside, look around you, don’t focus too much on that dream. Let that dream be there, guiding you and not dictating you.

And just as so, I’ve been searching for a feeling. Thinking that if I write enough blogs I’ll reach a certain illusion of a dream, or that I’ll find the answers to my soul. Instead, I felt more lost and exhausted, but now I’ve come to the realization that what I’ve been looking for is right in front of me. The feeling of writing in itself is a reward to me. A blank white canvas where my hands draw the lines and my imagination colors the pages. A place where my thoughts come to life. I know the world can be a tough place, and you may feel more lost than found most of the time but keep soldiering on. Remember that what you seek is not in the dream, its in the chase.