How to Cope with Your Loss of Faith
By: Cecil Adkins
Tags: Family, Meaning, Atheism, Relationships, Religion

Losing your religion

The journey to atheism is fraught with peril for many. For most of us, it starts while we are still steeped in the faith of our parents or the surrounding community.

It starts as nagging doubts in the back of our minds, doubts that, no matter how many times we try to stifle them with platitudes or scripture, refuse to be silenced.

Some of us fight the loss of our faith with all our might, fearing what lies before us in a world without God.

If there is no God, what’s the meaning of everything? What will our family, friends, and co-workers think of our new godlessness? Is there anywhere we can turn to for help?

This article is a high-level overview for new atheists seeking help with dealing with their loss of faith. Be on the lookout for future articles dealing with these issues in greater detail.

What does it all mean, then?

One of the scariest realizations new atheists face is that there’s no great universal plan for everything that happens. It can be terrifying to lose the comfort of the much-used “It’s God’s plan” line we hear so much when tragedy occurs.

If there’s no master plan, no Creator watching above us and guiding us along, does anything matter? Is there such a thing as purpose? As meaning? And isn’t it depressing to think that once you die in this world, you just cease to exist?

This is something that I struggled with greatly and still do from time to time. I finally came to terms with this loss of metaphysical meaning because of two things.

Photo by KEEM IBARRA on Unsplash

First, just because something is comforting doesn’t mean it’s true. Having warm fuzzy feelings because we think a Divine Creator cares about our well-being has nothing to do with whether such a Divine Creator actually exists.

Secondly, I realized that believing that this life, right now, is the only one I have and that it is finite means that what I do from now until I die is much more important than it would be if I had an eternity after this mortal life.

Look at it this way: if you were told that you had 24 hours to live, wouldn’t those 24 hours be more precious to you than if you knew you had another 50 years? Of course, they would be.

To the atheist, this life is infinitely more important than it possibly could be to someone who believes they’ll live forever after they’ve shuffled off this mortal coil.

Of course, no one knows for sure what happens after we die, and for me to say that I know for a fact that we just fade away into nothingness would be as arrogant as a Christian telling me I’m going to Hell because I no longer believe in the Bible.

The honest answer is we have absolutely no credible evidence that life goes on after our mortal bodies die, and I’d rather live this life as if that’s true than believe that ultimately my time on Earth doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

What about morality? Don’t we need to believe in God to be good? Of course not. Newspapers are filled with stories of priests and pastors who presumably believe in God but still do horrible things to people, including children.

If believing in God doesn’t make you a moral person, then not believing doesn’t make you immoral.

Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

Family & friends

Coming to terms with the loss of a god and his/her/its plan for one’s life is only one hurdle the new atheist faces. Often, someone who has lost faith in the religion of their past is surrounded by family and friends who still believe. Depending on how devout the people you love are, life can be increasingly difficult as you let go of your religious lifestyle.

It’s hard to give advice for dealing with this situation because so much of it depends on the personality and relationships of everyone involved. How much one can get away with revealing about one’s lack of faith will be different with each person in one’s life.

The new atheist may have no choice but to go along with family religious traditions, at least for a while, and especially if one is underage and still living with parents.

My advice is to test the waters to see who among your family and friends may be open to your newfound atheism. I would caution against burning bridges, but also against compromising your dignity and self-respect.

Given studies showing that religious people tend to distrust atheists as much as rapists, it’s vitally important that atheists show believers that they’re not scary people, and the only way to do that is to come out of the closet, so to speak.