The Walk of a Lifetime
Tags: Camino De Santiago, Life Lessons, Life, Lessons Learned

Thirty-five days, 890 km. Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port to Finisterre, Spain.

Camino de Santiago or known as the “Pilgrimage of Compostela” or the Way of St. James, is a pilgrimage that leads to the remains of the apostle of St. James in the cathedral of Santiago northwest of Spain. It is a sacred path that has been a holy path for pilgrims since medieval times. What I learned, though, is the Camino is known for its miracles. Miracles that we neglect in our everyday life.

“Why?” Most people are still intrigued by why I had to make a pilgrimage or make myself suffer from the scorching Spanish sun or to walk for 30 days to get to Santiago. Is it for religious reasons? Am I in internal suffering?

The answer is, I don’t know. Maybe I needed to walk or run away from home to find one. It was a question as well that I had to seek because I cannot find an answer, nor I do not know what I was looking for. I will try to enumerate the best way I can what I learned in the walk.

What I learned…

I control my destiny through actions. What is good about walking is that it keeps your thoughts running. It was like a puzzle in solving problems. The problem was, “me.” I overthink, I overreact, I have no control of my emotions. We are responsible for ourselves on how we act on specific events or situations. It’s always good to reflect on that. In return, I become aware that I strengthen my character. You do not have to walk five-hundred miles to decide, but make sure to pause and reflect and be responsible for your next step. You are not alone. Camino can be solitary; most people are travelling on their own, venturing the history of Spain’s path and ruins. Do not be afraid to share the weight you are carrying. Be true to the people you encounter and most especially to yourself. Do not hide what is inside you; always speak the truth. In the Camino, strangers become a family. Experience along the way becomes a lesson. Happiness is only real when shared. You might have heard of this line before, written by Christopher Mccandless from the best-seller book ‘Back to the Wild’ and the movie ‘Into The Wild.’ The last words he wrote when he died in an empty van in the Alaskan wilderness. He wanted to explore the unexplored. I consider myself an ‘independent’ woman, exploring the unknown, wanting to learn more about the world and the people. However, the company of people I met along the way becomes a different chapter that made my pilgrimage unforgettable. Miracles in the Camino. I always wonder what these miracles are. What miracle is waiting for me? The route to Santiago de Compostela has its myths and histories. Most pilgrims have their own stories. I asked myself, ‘Why am I doing this?’ When I was young, I was told that when my grandmother died, a great giant moth landed on her casket and the same size of moth always sits on her plaque in the cemetery. That, to me, was interesting. I still dream about her, and at the lowest point of my life, I almost gave up life. Moving to a different country with various issues from my environment, made me lose hope until the moth came. I was lost one time taking a wrong route up in the mountains. One friend from the Camino texted me, ‘follow the butterflies,’ and I did. I found The Way. Camino is filled with inspirational messages and symbols coming from different people in different parts of the world. To me, what they left on the trail is a miracle to others. Speaking of The Way, everyone in the Camino has heard or watched the movie directed by Emilio Estevez starring Martin Sheen, his father (in real life), which is also in the film. I admit that I did too, but that wasn’t the reason I did the Camino. We all have our own stories and book to write. It is your Way. You are enough. These words are cliche but potent. These words are also something I couldn’t tell myself while looking in the mirror from my past life. I think it is normal growing up, not having the confidence to be yourself or not knowing who you are. In the Camino, I learned that I make my own rules and not be affected by other people’s negativity. I know what I like. I know who I am. No one can take that away from me because it is in me. Words can hurt unless it's the truth, but once you develop your strength, you will one day look in the mirror and tell yourself, ‘You are amazing, enough, beautiful and brave.’ The spirit of your own words feeds your soul and mental health. I learned not to be hard on myself and live on my own rules. Listen to your body. Camino can be challenging for some people. Everyone can do it, but you should have the strength inside you to keep going. On my second day, I was questioning myself, what am I doing? But I found out that I just kept going and going until I made it without issues physically. I met many people in pain but still kept going and found out later that the pain worsened just because they did not stop or rest. Of course, I treat myself to a day off in Santiago too. We’ve been used to being around nature that stopping in big cities such as Burgos or Leon was no longer an option. The most important thing is to pause and listen to your mind, heart and body to avoid future complications. Acceptance. At the end of the Camino, goodbyes are the hardest. I always believed that the happiness I shared with other people from the Camino would remain the same. It is the memories that help me hold on when life can hit you hard. However, these memories and the people has shaped you when you go back to civilization. At first, we are all feeling the same. Missing the time and memories together, the journey, but what Camino taught us that we could count on each other and we have to enjoy what is NOW. What we are doing now can affect the future. But we are all still planning our next Camino. We are all back in our busy lives, but the memories and friendship stay intact. Little Things Matter. Food, water, the natural world we’re living in matters. In the modern world, we’ve always wanted things to arrive quickly. We want to get to the destination right away, ordering food and packages. We become impatient and easily irritated. In the Camino, water and food is the source of life. It is everything! Some drivers on route offered us a lift to get to the next town. The thing is, we started walking, so, we will end walking. Words we share with the people around us matter. Small things such as the sunshine and the beautiful fields matter. Whether you’re coming from different parts of the world, you and I are all equal regardless of your background, education and how much you earn. We are all a pilgrim in search of the unknown. You cannot be the same person as yesterday. You might have a history, but who you are from before can never be the same as you today. When I started journaling from Day 1 to two months from that trip, I found out about that. I get to meet who I am in the past comparing to my confident and grateful self now. Life can be challenging, but I am the pilgrim who chooses which path or direction I go. I am responsible. I’ve always wanted to write, but I am scared that people might not like it. It is now or never. I accept constructive criticism, but I learned there will always be someone who will push you into the abyss, but then you will rise like a phoenix into the light. Home is where you belong. It starts within.

I wish you well on your walks in life.

Buen Camino.