Om’s Papa- Part 2
Tags: Dads, Baby, Parenting, Love, Pain

By Om’s Mom

In case, the previous post makes you think of Om’s Papa as the archangel, I will set the reality straight in this piece. Om’s Papa is unbearably rationale- let me explain. I truly believe he lives to get to the root cause of everything, every question, every emotion, and every situation. It comes from good intent but it is very irritating. Actually, it is the foundation of every big fight we have! I am feelings and intuition and he is rationales and logic. When, I was pregnant with Om, I am happy to report that “feelings and intuition” ruled, he was not allowed to irritate me. Did that stop him from doing PhD level research on car seats and stroller — absolutely no, but I didn’t have to participate, hooray!! I once peeked on his source of information- it was a website called “topdaddies.com or bestdadies.com”, it had photos of dads (but I think models) with baby carriers and jogging strollers. To this day I laugh when I think of the seriousness with which he was browsing that website- my pregnant intuition urged me to tell this to everyone we know (and now to everyone we don’t know).

Om’s birth story was a nightmare (telling you why will need a different essay and courage) but it was also the making of “Om’s Papa”, a truly formidable force and a male version of Gaia. I am not trying to be funny here. There is no concession, compromise, or excuse made for anything that relates to Om- that is the foundational rule of this household. Om’s Papa looked really happy, with baby Om in his arms. Baby Om was covered in wires and tubes, his head was wrapped in bandage, his nose was wrapped to keep the oxygen mask in place, his tiny hands were wrapped to keep the IV tubes in place, and his body was covered in multiple wires that monitored his lungs and oxygen levels, and then some more. That image in my head sends shivers down my spine, “how were you able to smile at that time?” I asked him several months later. “Things were out of my control and I thought I would lose you both, now that I had you both alive in front of me, I will make it all so good and we will never even think about this time”, he said.

A year and a half later. In the weeks that followed Om’s diagnosis of a rare genetic disorder, I worried incessantly about Om’s future and cried because I could not help Om’s papa. He went into a deep denial, followed by stubbornness, obsessive researching and quest for solving the root issue. He read and read without sleeping and without food for days, convinced that he will figure it out and make it all better for his baby, eventually he broke. In the ruckus of doctor’s appointments, therapies, and the challenges of Om’s every day, from walking to feeding to nights of complete sleep deprivation (Om has difficulty in staying asleep), his papa held it together for all of us. I struggled with everything, and he just took on more and more without complain and without any blaming. He single handedly kept me from drowning and he allowed me to feel and to take my time (which was months of lying in bed). He helped me keep my job, helped the healing, and never allowed me to let go of my hopes and dreams. “We have such a happy child, he is always smiling and is so emotive and gentle, I am happy because he is so happy and goofy” that is what he said.

Om follows his dad literally and figuratively. Om wants to be him, wants to be with him, wants his praise, wants his attention, as for me, I have very much accepted my position of being the less preferred parent. “You can go on your work trip, but you have to come back all caught up on sleep, so that I can have my turn when you return”, I said to him. A week later, Om’s papa returned looking completely haggard, “I haven’t slept at all, because I cannot sleep without Omi.” They are in bed cuddled up in an embrace, as I sit and type, reminiscing about the past- this February Om’s Papa turned 4, and this is not an ode to him, it is simply his story extraordinaire.