I Refuse to Open a Story Called “Hi”
By: Alison Acheson
Tags: Celebrity, Culture, Writing Life, Writing, Pop Culture

PART I

(I added Part II after further thought, and a celebrity-reality check I had to put myself through…see below…)

On my opening page, one particular story keeps popping up in the upper-left-hand corner: it is titled simply “Hi,” and I am resisting the urge to click on it to see what the hell it is about. But it is insistent — it’s been in that spot, whining for my attention for days now.

For all I know, the writer has a gift for scintillating prose, and fence-bustin’ ideas. Maybe I need to chill and accept that she or he or they are just so delightfully coy…even clever.

And I have to examine my own urge to click on it: is it anything beyond the question of WHO would do this? WHAT could be so amazing?

Audacity

The audacity thing. This site is full of it. The I-dare-you-to-open-me-up! Yet even as it pisses me off, I have to say that I also stumble over amazing pieces — thoughtful and energizing. Pieces that leave me pondering, pieces that give me something new, that make me feel I’ve spent my time well here.

Am I grouchy and sour-grapey with the “Hi” piece…?

I joined in April, and have produced close to 100 pieces, yet never made over $50 in a month, never had a piece go “viral.” I don’t do rants — this will be my first. I don’t do politics. I don’t share my sex life with strangers. I talk about writing from the perspective of having taught the subject for decades and published eleven books in multiple genres (and no, I don’t go on and on about them to self-promote — if interested you can look them up. I try to abide by the rule of not overtly advertising. Does anyone remember MS Magazine, and when they pulled all advertising and what a JOY that was??)

I write about caregiving and grief, and bringing up boys, and aging, and music… I am all over the map. The “no-niche writer” could be my niche.

I go beyond “Hi.” I am a nobody, so I have to go beyond. “Hi” is an affront to those putting in time and energy and care. “Hi” makes me want to run away from this place. Fast. Makes me question why I’m here. And why are others here. And why can’t we give a little more. A little more real.

I’ve been reading this book, titled, “Culture Crash: The Killing of the Creative Class,” (Scott Timberg). He includes a quote from Dana Gioia:

“So much of culture is chance encounters between human beings.”

So true. And that — that — is exactly what this site is all about. Or could be. “Chance Encounters.” Like running into a stranger in New York, and exchanging stories and laughter or poignancy, and then moving on with our days. Knowing humanness.

Put something into it

Please. That’s what that “Hi” got me thinking.

Otherwise, you got me thinking about the “Bye.”

Now go read, and write, and create something worth clicking.

And now for PART II

I care little for popular culture, especially of the Kardashian type. And I am ignorant of those who inhabit that hierarchical layer of the world. These days I spend so little time in grocery stores, that I am not in front of magazine covers as I have been at other points in my life.

When I find wonderful pieces on Medium — and by “wonderful” I mean pieces that edify, pieces on traveling to interesting places or pieces of human story — I am moved. Real people, grappling with real life. True, the loss (as I’ve put together some clues, without having to read all the tedium of another’s personal life) is indeed loss, and loss which I would never wish on anyone.

Bottom line: I don’t care about celebrity life.

I DO care about real projects of art, and creating, and striving. But I don’t care to add my nickel (and we know that that is about exactly what it is, give a cent or two) to a celebrity’s millions. I can’t help but think WHY would she post the personal on Medium, when she can post on her own site and blog and elsewhere, from where she can reach her fans, followers, and friends? Why does she need to post on Medium? Is she short on cash?

What a crass question. But we have a collective high tolerance for crass these days.

I am sorry that she has lost an infant, a member of her family. I’m not convinced I need to read about it. And I’m not at all convinced that Medium needs to give this piece priority on MY page, when I have not chosen to “follow” this person, and she did not publish in a publication I am following. It frustrates me how hard so many of us work here, how we pick through mounds of “People” magazine caliber pieces of garbage for the gems— and there are such here, but like all gems they have to be mined. Deeply at times.

Where is respect for one’s own privacy, for that matter? Have we lost ALL decorum? Does anyone even know what that word means? We spill and flap in the street.

When my memoir of caregiving was being marketed by my agent, I was told not to expect a sizable publisher to take it; my “platform” wasn’t big enough. It was published by a smaller — and exceptional and caring — publisher. A piece of feedback I received was that it was promising for a first memoir…as if somewhere down the line I’ll have yet another husband who might die of a disease worse than ALS, and then they’ll take me on… Really? Man, we live in an f’d up world.

Why did I write my story? I was working with the Toni Morrison quote.

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”

I couldn’t find a book about caregiving with a terminal diagnosis, and doing 24/7 nursing as a spouse. I was — subconsciously, I recognize now — doing that human being/chance encounter thing.

Getting to “Bye!”

Not quite ready to give up…but this site is disappointing me. Maybe I am expecting too much.

Culture is the fabric we weave between our selves; it is supposed to hold us, all of us.

When you write, and when you click, what are you honoring?