Do I like The Person I See In The Mirror?
Tags: Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Short Story, Storytelling, Questions

Photo by Andre Mouton on Unsplash

Maybe Thursday needs to be changed from transformational storytelling to Spyder laughing hard Thursday. The last few weeks have had me laughing out loud. This week’s story was no different.

I first wonder about the policeman or policemen in general walking patrol beats in popular bar areas. I am sure when he saw Mulla that Mulla was stumbling. I am sure that before he got within ten meters of Mulla he knew the answer to several of these questions that he asked. I am sure he knew that the answer to the questions he did as was going to be epic. It is worth mentioning that, more often than not, anyone asking a question either knows the answer to the question or thinks they know it. Why then do we ask the questions? Why don’t make it easier and say “this is what I think the answer is going to be… give that information and ask if they can confirm that”.

I am not saying that I have ever been in Mulla’s situation but my best friend and I were in a city we were unfamiliar with, having lost the group we were with, not able to find the bus we arrived in ended up sitting on a curb waiting for an uber driver to get us back to our hotel. We got there just as the bus did. Many asked why we were so quiet on the bus when we merged into the group. I am sure others have stories that can relate with Mulla’s situation.

It is question and observation time. There are a number of questions that depending on who asks them and the situation that they are asked are the dumbest or deepest questions that there are. Routinely we are asked “How are you?” Ninety-five or more percent of the time the person asking doesn’t wait, listen for, or care about the answer. That same question asked honestly and at the right time from a dear friend or loved one can start the flood gates and be the opening for hours of conversation.

There are many questions we are asked like this. They are time fillers, unless the person knows you and you can tell by their eyes, body language, what is going on in each of your lives, and other factors. There are just a few people in our lives that can ask these questions and we know they are on a much deeper level. Many of us are like Diana, we like asking these questions but often times we are not ready to answer them. Often times that is because we have been asking ourselves those questions for a while and haven’t even given answers to ourselves.

Who am I? That is one of those awe-inspiring questions to me. Firstly, it has so many answers. I am at once Bob, Robert, Spyder, son, brother, uncle, cousin, American, teacher, student, and the list could go on and on. I am in a different situation a different person. I am the one asking advice. I am the one being asked for advice. Others can add parent, spouse, a particular faith, and many others. Add to that I am not the same person I was last week, last month, a year, a decade, and so on. I might not be the same person I was five minutes ago depending on what has happened in that time.

Why am I here? Honestly that is a question that I have asked myself several times a day as I stand in a room I just walked into and my mind is so scattered that I ask myself that. That answer has also changed over time. That answer has changed and keeps changing as I walk this spiritual path. I would say now I am here to become a better person. I am here to make a positive difference in my life and the people I interact with.

Where am I going? What will I be when I grow up? Yes I still ask myself that question at sixty-seven. Am I happy? Am I learning? Am I growing? Am I enough? Am I good enough? What now? Do I like they person I see in the mirror?

When I retired ten years ago I decided it was time to focus on me. I have done that. In the past year I think I have grown more spiritually than I had in decades. It is not because I was not a good person before. It is because I began to think of the why’s and the purpose of doing those things. It was not enough anymore to be polite and positive. I wanted to know what that was doing for me. How it was making me who I am. I have worked through major traumas of my life. I had worked on them before and I know I will need to keep working on them. I have removed some of the power they had over me.

I will keep asking and answering the deeper questions to keep on the path.