My PROUST Questionaire — And Why I Didn’t Answer It
By: Sabana Grande
Tags: Autobiography, Life, Relationships, Self, Questionnaire

My PROUST Questionaire — And Why I Didn’t Answer It

My Musings On What The Questions Mean And How MOST People Answer Them

Warning: If You’ve Come Looking For A Proust Questionaire That Is Answered, You’ve Come To The WRONG Place

First of all, I’d like to thank Tree Langdon, CPA, CGA for instituting this challenge to inspire us writers for ILLUMINATION. Thank you.

1.What is your idea of perfect happiness? Most people like to answer this question by saying happiness is ephemeral or saying that it is a choice. In truth, part of the reason why the Proust Questionnaire is so popular is that people like explaining themselves and their world view. People like to be understood.

2.What is your greatest fear? “The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness” — The New York Times in relation to a study done by Arthur Aron. A similar popular quiz (let’s not forget that the Proust Questionaire started off as a parlor game) showed that opening yourself up to another can make you feel intimacy. The more you open up and the more vulnerable you are, the more intimacy and ‘connectedness’ you feel towards the person you’re opening up to — in this case, your readers. In other words, telling people your greatest fears makes you feel better AFTER you’ve done it. Before, it can be embarrassing.

3.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Again, cleaning out your closet makes people feel good after they’ve done it. The Proust Questionaire was so popular because people enjoyed being asked these questions more than they enjoy, say, having their political or love decisions questioned as is popular in the media nowadays.

4.Which living person do you most admire? I guess this part is like a horoscope. People know the Proust Questionnaire is supposed to reflect on their personalities, and now they get to choose who their role model is and who they want to be compared to! If they want to be seen as a family person they will mention their family. I’m not here to complain about any of these things. Those people probably love their family and their role models.

You do get to give people the impression that you wanted to give them, and then get to feel as if it was all a coincidence and the Proust Questionnaire did its work, which is nice.

5.What do you consider the most overrated virtue? “The Way The World Works” by Sabana Grande. Everyone dreams of having their opinions attached to important issues. You don’t like such and such virtue other people like? Let other people know it. Again, this can be helpful, but it definitely does make people feel good to let out their bottled-up unpopular opinions.

6.On what occasion do you lie? I like this question. I feel this question gives people a chance to have a look at their own moral compass and reset it if necessary. You will look back at all the times you have lied and discern, now that you are not in the position you once were, whether it affected you or any other party in a positive way.

7.Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “No good deed goes unpunished.” See? It’s fun to give our personal opinions on something, right or wrong. Did a Donald Trump thought bubble just pop up for you?

8.What or who is the greatest love of your life? “Let me tell ya a story about me life.” Here’s an excuse to relive your happiest (hopefully) moments and share them with others. You’re starting to see how the Proust Questionnaire works?

9.When and where were you happiest? Do continue, please. By this point, I imagine the interviewee would be smiling. These questions make for a really fun interview for the interviewee.

10.Which talent would you most like to have? I like this question as well. As opposed to making you feel good about yourself, it might just light a fire under your bum!

11.If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? “And why haven’t you done it?” — added by Sabana Grande, 2020. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a person who likes getting stuff done more than he likes explaining why and how things are in my life. If it can be done, do it.

“Imagine you’re on your deathbed — and standing around your bed are the ghosts representing your unfilled potential. The ghosts of the ideas you never acted on. The ghosts of the talents you didn’t use.” — Les Brown

This quote brings a tear to my eyes sometimes, WHILE I’M WORKING ON STUFF.

12.What do you consider your greatest achievement? My pet rock has survived for more than 4 years now. It was a school project I never could quite let go of.

Parlor games are games played inside. Photo by kevin turcios on Unsplash

13.Where would you most like to live? Should you answer this question literally or metaphorically? Most people choose metaphorically. Be one with yourself. Hakuna Matata, to you too.

14.What do you most value in your friends? Again, this question is almost exactly the same as one of “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love”. Coincidence? I think not. These questions are meant to make us feel connectedness, provided there is reciprocity. That means that if our readers also told us what they value in friendship, our emotional bonds would become stronger. When you’re the only one doing it, that feeling is a one-way street.

Stephen Covey says in his book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”:

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

I really enjoyed reading “The Proust Questionnaire Answered by Steve Alexander🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸 for Tree Langdon, CPA, CGA” and “The Proust Questionnaire Answered by Payal Koul.” I felt that both authors really let themselves be vulnerable and I loved understanding them. I also loved how they inspired others to comment on their own experiences and how they felt about some of these questions which created a beautiful, wholesome feeling. Mine’s just bitchy xD

Just kidding. Basically, the reason I didn’t write one was because the questions fascinated me so much I wanted to delve into their meaning. I wanted to share these two great articles and to invite people to relate to them. For instance, the fear Steve Alexander🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸 had for his father struck a chord with me. Let’s not make reading these articles a one-way sharing street.

Also, take action on what you learn. Or, if you disagree with me, be vocal about it!

15.Which historical figure do you most identify with? Hmmm. My opinion, my opinion, my opinion. I’d love to share it. But other than inviting you to read the two great articles I mentioned above and to engage with them, I wanted to write this article to put out the idea that the Proust Questionnaire would make for much better discourse than simply interviews. It would get us to connect to one another more I believe. My opinions are not facts. I can be wrong.

Consider it.

16.Who are your heroes in real life? My granny and grandpa. Had to answer that one. It hit me right in the feels. See what I mean about the questions making you feel good when you answer them? Now imagine that going both ways.

17.What is your greatest regret? Not having the Proust Questionnaire be called the Proust Discourse and have people opening up to one another. Imagine ideas bouncing off one another and becoming polished. Let’s make the Questionnaire not be just something that gets filled in and posted.

18.What is your motto? “Make the Proust Questionnaire a discourse!” My grandfather said this to me more than 300 years ago, before Proust was even born.

Have a good one!

Sabana Grande has written MORE stuff, if you’d like to check it out: