He says She says
By: Evan Connell
Tags: Love Story, Love, Break Ups, New York City

A beautiful blonde young lady sits in her car crying. Tears start to stream her make up down but it is just how he remembers. She is trying to muster up the courage to confront him.

A rugged lad sits on his porch drinking whiskey. He’s just taking in the cool summer night air. Beard unkept, shirt tattered, and not a care in the world.

These two have known each other in a past life but have missed out. She wants this more than she wants to breathe. He continues to be guarded after her there was no reason to keep search. It has been 2 years, 7 months, 3 days and 12 hours. She steps out of her and they lock eyes.

“Esma?” He says.

“Hi” quietly slips from her mouth.

“I uhh I thought you moved.” Stammering.

“Um … I’m back now. “ She says.

“Sit please.” Gesturing toward a rocking chair.

She gently sits fix her yellow sundress. Yellow what interesting color to choose for such somber occasion.

“So…..” She instigates.

He’s never been good at awkward. He’s between kicking her off his porch or jump her in her yellow dress.

“So… how’d you find me?” he questions.

“Garrett.”

His Brother.

“Ahhh. I’ll have to have a word with him. Just giving my address out to strangers.” He says with a soft smile.

“Yeah. He’s nice.” She says. “Just nice? What am I doing? Fuck.” She thinks

“Ha yeah he is.”

“How have you been?” She says.

“Good, nothing new.” He says away. While staring at his drink.

His whiskey had just run out from trying to chug it due to the uncomfortable conversation he was having. He excuses himself to grab more. She takes her whiskey on the rocks. He remembers and make her one. He knows this has to be hard for her as well.

“Thanks.” She smiles slowly.

“So New York City? Huh?” he states. He thinks “fuck ,”New York City huh?” I’m idiot.”

His awkwardness is something she missed.

“Yeah, it’s definitely different than here.” She looks around.

“I love here.” Proudly stated by him.

“ No no no, I didn’t mean different in a bad way but just different. I mean New York is New York. You know?” She tries to back track.

He smiles. Knowing he just fucked with her.

“Asshole.” She says with a smile and blue eyes.

“So unannounced is your style?”He points out.

“Didn’t think a call would do it. You’ wouldn’t answer.” She sternly says.

“Fair enough.” He stirs his drink with his finger.

“This is a gorgeous house you have here.” She pivots.

“Just my size.” He proudly looks around.

“Well it is Lovely.” She trails off.

“So are you settling in back home alright?” He asks.

“Yes! I’m in the new apartments off of 33rd street. It is lovely.” She says. In her head, “Why am I saying ‘lovely’ so much? Just relax”.

“I was wondering if you’d ever make it back here Esma.” He ponders while staring into his glass. “I just never thought we’d end and then all the shit towards the end. I don’t believe that was either of our true selves. We were mean to each other. I never wanted to be mean to you.”

“But you know you fucked up.” He says.

“Come on. Don’t bring that up right now. It took a lot of courage just to come over here.” She snaps back.

“You didn’t have to.” The whiskey is getting to him. He is always a little testy on his whiskey. So his pushes the envelope.

“Really?” She looks at him for guidance.

“Sorry.” He’s not really sorry. “Just you being here is wild. I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Well I didn’t either. Life has a weird way of going full circle” She suggest.

“Yeah but to us?” he kids. “ I just wish we ended on better terms.”

“That wouldn’t be us if we just smiled walked away from something that was great. We both are… just uhh too passionate you know?” She ponders.

“I look at you and I shake my head that I let you go. I didn’t fight as hard as I should’ve. I just rolled over.” He says while staring right at her with his stare.

“No don’t do that.” She fights back tears. “We had to end. You weren’t coming to New York and I knew that.”

“But I didn’t believe it change so quickly.”

After Esma moved to New York they tried several times to connect and visit each other. But we were not together exclusively. These quick hollow weekends turned sour as the two couldn’t make up their minds. Social media and lack of real conversation absolutely devastated their foundation. Trust was gone. His mind would play tricks him with the worse scenarios playing out. Which lead to him distancing himself from her the only way he knew how to cope. She wasn’t doing anything wrong but he couldn’t stop thinking himself to death.

She was frustrated that he wouldn’t respond and just slowly let something beautiful fizzle. There was a large part of her that thought it could workout and she longed for that. She would tell people she had someone but it was complicated. They would tiptoe this line of together and not together. She would have loved if he would have just committed and moved with her. But knowing him as a home body he would never leave. He had dreams of raising his children where he grew up and loved his large family.

This was eventually too much. He saw that she was with another guy. This sent him into a spiral. Trust absolutely disappeared. She had every right to start seeing other and move on. But to him it felt like betrayal. The fault of someone who does not communicate. He immediate dropped off the face of the earth. She’d reach out and he wouldn’t answer. Eventually communication cut off and that’s the only to get over it. Time.

“So another one?” He doesn’t want her to go. She back and looks beautiful.

“Last one I have to make it home.” She wants to jump him.

Whiskey bottle always seems to have enough just for two.

“So what were your intention on coming over here?” He probes.

“I don’t know. I still don’t really know. I just had to see you for some reason. Honestly I feel confused being here.” She worries.

“Easy easy easy. Don’t hurt yourself, over there.” He can see she is overthinking and he just wants to talk her. He wants to tell her every little detail of the past two years. What happened at work, how he bought this house cause she loves the color yellow, who’s dating who now, how he runs into her family from time to time and that makes him happier than he’d like to admit, and how he’d missed her. Not just missed her but a piece of him has been missing for quite sometime.

“Alright alright alright.” Smiling. She looks at him with those eyes. She missed him. Every bit of him. “ So are you dating anyone?” She strikes first.

“Me? Nah I see people every now and then but nothing stakes up.” He shy away from the question. Stares intently at his feet.

“Ahh come on I bet you are dating a bunch.” She says as she prays to God he says no again. She’s doing the typical girl thing.

“Nah, just hanging out.”He says smiling.

Silence. Nothing but the city buzzing around and the world starts to slow down for Scott and Esma. They are just locked in in the present and they both don’t want this moment to end.

“I uhh better be on my way. “ She says as a question. She wants him to ask her to stay.

He wants her to stay but it’s their second first date so better play it cool.

“Oh, umm alright. I actually appreciate you stopping by it made my night.”

He takes her glass and the tension builds. Should he? He shouldn’t. He gives a big bear hug and her nuzzles below his chin. God he missed that. The little things.

She feels safe within his arms. She wants this moment to be recorded so she can replay it anytime she feels insignificant.

“I’ll see you around Esma.” Scott says as his screen door shuts.