The Earth is Flat, Call ya Mom.
By: Madi Grace Shelton
Tags: Popular Culture, Conspiracy Theory

Listen, I am not here to debunk all of your personal conspiracies on whether or not the Earth is flat or if Chuck-E-Cheese really recycles pizza. I don’t care if you are dead set on believing GDubya did 9/11. However, I am here to provoke the thought that while conspiracy theories can get a bit crazy, how awesome is it that there are individuals who think so freely that they question everything so deeply? And are we fed by the culture to suppress our curiosity, emotions, and to simply be complacent?

As children, we aren’t taught to embrace the true suck of life and explore it, but more so pushed to find complacency in life. Therefore I bring to you the newest conspiracy theory: e m o t i o n s . *to be elaborated on in the words to come*

“You feel things? You’re sad? Get over your sad boi sh*t and move on, here’s some alcohol.” — Brad, A frat to be unnamed, 2018

I am aware that we watch conspiracy theories out of entertainment, and most of them are almost bizarre. Some aspect of popular culture is undoubtedly impacted by the aftershock of these theories, for example, Kyrie Irving and the Flat Earth movement (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/08/movies/kyrie-irving-nba-celtics-earth.html). But as ridiculous as they may sound, isn’t this kind of critical thinking and rejection of force-fed societal ideas almost admirable?

Throughout a normal day, it is simple to go through a mental to-do list and complete the bare minimum. Being a C-average human is actually applauded, after all, you are succeeding if you’re getting things done right? Wrong. Where would we be without critical thinkers? As a species we would have died, no doubt. I’m sure the fire-starting caveman is an ancestor of every critical thinker. Yet, we are taught to suppress that. Popular culture is shoved down our throats whether we consent or not. And here comes the best part of it, no matter what you do you will never be able to avoid it. There is almost no independent thought allowed here, yet we are all pressured to be unique.

And this is where we get to the “the government creates emotions, birds aren’t real” aspect of this. Tea.

Our feelings, however not truly a conspiracy and more of human nature and something so human it cannot truly be denied, are manipulated by everything around us and fueled by the popular culture. This is the conspiracy. Emotions. The rejection of such pure thought and internal struggle. That’s where our rejection of free thought and criticism stems from. How are we to ever embrace who we are if we are rejecting and repressing everything that makes us so uniquely human? It is impossible. But we aren’t fed songs about dealing with the things we feel or encouraging us to go out and seek the truth. We do not hear Billy Ellish, who is arguably the biggest “sadboi” artist I can think of, on KISS 95.1. We hear songs that basically make a mockery of feelings, like “Mixed Personalities” by YNW Melly (ft. Kanye West) that is saying that girls have personality disorders because “I swear to God she be trippin’ dog…. one day she’s happy, then she’s mad at me”. Yo, ever think both parties are human and subject to upsetting one another? I can’t personally go two days in a row not getting mad at my own self, let alone another flawed human. Yet this is our culture. Feelings, critical thinking, everything is under constant criticism and control by those who can put it to a catchy tune and manipulate their voice to be appealing (brainwashing, it's real: https://globalnews.ca/news/4194106/440-hz-conspiracy-music/ ).

That is the real beef of this. Our culture wants to suppress us. Everything that makes you unique and individual, in some aspect has been manipulated. That flannel you’re wearing, you weren’t born loving it. Have your own nature vs. nurture debate with yourself on that one and I bet you’ll agree. However, that isn’t all I want you to walk away with this blog with. It is my intention to open up the dialogue of what about yourself is truly you? How has popular culture influenced you?

And also, be more like the guy who looked at a pigeon and thought, “yea, to think about it… I’ve actually never seen a baby pigeon. The FBI must make them and use them for surveillance… Logic.” Be more of a free thinker, question more things, and dear God please choose not to date a Syrian man named Milos (Shawn Dawson reference, stay woke, please).

Rick and Morty, S3E8. “You fucked with the squirrels!”

There it is, my overall observations and reflection on conspiracy theories and our society.

Yeet or be yeeted,

Madi.