6 things every parent needs to remember this school year
By: Johns Hopkins Center For Talented Youth
Tags: Gifted And Talented, Back To School, Gifted, Online Learning, Online Education

Yep, it’s going to be a weird one. Here’s how to make it work for your family.

By Katy Bowman

Anxiety is high among parents, teachers, and even kids, as many K-12 schools prepare to start the year virtually while others gear up for some combination of online and in-person instruction. The one thing we know is that nothing is going to be the same as it was last fall. It’s normal to be nervous about how this is will all pan out, but it’s important to approach this wholly unprecedented learning situation with a healthy mindset.

“A successful school year starts with the need to just acknowledge that school is going to be different for everyone this year,” said Amy Shelton, senior director of research at the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth and associate dean of research at the School of Education. “It is up to parents to set the tone.” Here’s how:

1. Expect success. “If parents keep lamenting that ‘School is going to be horrible this year’ — for many families, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Shelton said. “If we say how much we distrust the system, kids are going to pick up on that. Our job is not to shelter them to the point of being unrealistic, but to give it a chance and highlight the advantages.”

Beyond health benefits, there are several practical advantages to online schooling. Many kids are finding it easier to focus on schoolwork without the distractions that come with a building full of kids. They’re also learning skills like typing, organization, online collaboration, written communication, and time management that will serve them well in the classroom, in college, and in their careers.

Similarly, many teachers have spent the spring and summer acquiring tons of online teaching tools that they will use to make their classrooms dynamic and engaging this fall — and continue using when in-person instruction resumes. Consider it a golden era of professional development for all involved.

2. Set healthy expectations for yourself. Parents will need to ask some big-picture questions such as: is my child’s workspace comfortable? Do they need to set up in the same room as an adult so they stay on task while doing their schoolwork? Do we need a child care provider to assist us?

Before classes begin, parents also should print and review class meeting schedules, show your child where assignments and other work will be posted, and make sure technology such as their microphone, webcam, and internet connection are working. For younger kids you may need to set reminders and help them log in to class meetings.

“You have to be attentive to the environment and understand what your kid is going to be capable of and areas in which they need help,” Shelton said.

Keep in mind that unless you have unenrolled your child from school and are ready to follow stringent guidelines around curriculum and instruction, remote schooling does not mean you are responsible for homeschooling your child, Shelton said. It means your child’s classes will be led by their teacher, while your role is going to be that of a facilitator. This seems to be a point of confusion for some parents, and while both roles come with challenges, knowing the difference may relieve parents of the expectation that they are going to be solely responsible for their child’s education.

3. Trust your teachers. Teachers know about classroom management, they know how to engage students, and they appreciate the differences among their students. They have years of training, and they do this job for a reason. What they need most right now is for families to trust them, Shelton said.

“I don’t think there’s any teacher who will tell you the critical feature of a classroom is that everyone needs to be in the same physical space. It’s that the teacher be able to connect with each child personally,” she said. “Your child’s teacher has planned lessons, and they’re going to be dynamic and it’s going to feel like a classroom, and that’s what kids need right now. Let’s relax and say that’s actually magical and we’re fortunate that we have the technology to do this remotely. Teachers are classroom experts, and with our support, they can replicate the important elements of a classroom in the online space.”

4. Stop worrying that your kid is going to “fall behind.” “Some parents seem to be completely panicked over this, and my question is, ‘Fall behind what?’” Shelton said. “We need to relax and realize we are all in this and the more we’re all in this, the less we have to worry about who’s getting ahead and who’s falling behind.”

It helps to remember that most grade-level curricular standards are subjective, she said. Yes, there’s a developmental reason that kids start kindergarten when they’re age 5 or 6, but there’s no hard-and-fast need for kids to learn astronomy at age 11, or algebra at 14.

“If your kid’s falling behind in a subject, that’s okay; they’ll get it later. Just make sure they’re staying engaged,” Shelton said. “To me, this is the era of enrichment.”

5. Let your kids know you want them around. It may be tempting to complain about what a nightmare this has all been and how ready we are for our kids to go back to school — but these messages could have a negative impact.

“To a young kid, you may be telling them you don’t value them, and that they’re an annoyance,” Shelton said. “We all have short fuses and we have nowhere to go with it because we’re all kind of stuck in the house together. We love our kids, but we are tired and we need space to complain, but maybe that’s the time to go outside and FaceTime your friend” — preferably out of earshot of your family.

6. Build happy new habits. Of course kids are missing their friends and soccer games, recess and birthday parties. It feels like their childhoods have been put on hold. But there’s a small silver lining: many kids have found more space for creativity, books, games, exercise, and nature.

“My son and I go for a walk every day at lunchtime now when we can,” Shelton said. “Sometimes we can’t, or it gets cut short because of meetings. But we make a point of taking a 20-minute walk together every day. We never could do that during the school year. On weekends, maybe, but that’s not the same as breaking up your workday with a walk with your kid. Even at age 15, he appreciates it.”

Eating a picnic lunch, taking a midday smoothie break, sitting on the porch and talking together or reading your child a story — these are the little moments many families can make time for now that schedules are slightly more flexible, so cherish them. They’re the moments you’ll miss the most when normal life resumes.