Hello Teacher! Day 76
By: Heidi Chase
Tags: Remote Learning, Students, Teachers, Schools, Exhaustion

Photo by Elan Birman on Unsplash

Hello Teacher! Day 76

It has been a couple of weeks since I entered any thoughts or observations here in this journal, but I have been ‘writing’ a lot in my head. I think about entering the day’s events, or trials and tribulations, then find myself making excuses to forget about the recording of any thoughts or ideas in my journal. It is self-sabotage at its meanest, however, I truly am busy living my full life, as simple as it seems, at the moment. From the outside looking in, my life seems quite manageable, as in, I definitely have more time than ever to fulfill both my family and career responsibilities. But there are so many other factors that affect performance besides time…think of how much more time my life has now, due to the pandemic. I no longer need to rush in the morning, period. Mornings are not stressful during this time of remote learning. Some mornings during COVID, I have a half hour commute to my son’s high school in the next town, but honestly, I don’t need an alarm to wake up by 7. I teach either four or two classes Monday through Thursday, and have Fridays for grading, planning, meetings. After school, I have time to make dinner, rather than rushing the boys to practice or get-togethers, and some days, I have time for a nap after school. From a distance, it looks like the perfect schedule full of serenity.

Now look closer, and begin to notice what else affects performance besides plenty of time. Why am I exhausted when there is no need for an alarm and I have time for a nap after school? What is causing the anxiety when there is time to go grocery shopping and make dinner, without the hassle of taxi-ing my sons back and forth to activities? How am I not published yet or enjoying the ‘company’ of thousands of new followers on Instagram or Facebook or Medium? This is a burning question everywhere of almost everyone besides a handful of ultra-resilient overachievers on social media. My colleagues and I spend hours of time at trainings and meetings, paralyzed with feelings of overwhelm. There are so many reasons why we are overwhelmed, beginning with the threat of contracting a deadly virus, simply by saying hello too closely, or by getting together for dinner with your own adult child who attends college or works as en essential employee. The constant and imminent threat of death that the pandemic has caused, has triggered us into survival mode, and like it or not, has put each and every one of us on high alert.

Being reminded daily of how many of us are dying, does not boost morale or inspire us to function at our best. Seeing the numbers of thousands of people dying daily, as many as lost their lives on 9/11, every day, weighs heavily on our collective consciousness, and that much pain and suffering is a heavy burden for all of us to carry. So if you are tired, and your most exciting experience today was going to the grocery store or taking a walk in the park or admiring the lights on your Christmas tree, you are feeling the effects of being fully human during difficult times. There is so much to worry about, and yet, there is so much to give thanks for. I have found that focusing on the small things that spark joy, like a delicious meal or a sincere hug from one of my sons or a warm cup of strong coffee on a snowy day or a brilliant online lesson, can ease the weight of feeling too much compassion for the world’s suffering.