4 — THE FAIL APPOINTMENT —. Given that I hadn’t had many issues…
By: Bebe Khuê Jacobs
Tags: Self Improvement, Asian American, Parenting Advice, Parenting, Family

Given that I hadn’t had many issues with my period and have been able to manage my menstrual cramps with my stash of extra-strength Tylenol. Annually, I just had my general practitioner did my annual pap smear check-up as part of my annual health check-up. I didn’t need to have an OB.

The following Monday after the stick test, I called up my doctor’s office to make an appointment.

“Doctor’s office. May I help you?”

“Hi! I’m calling to …”

“Can you please hold!”

“Wait, I just wanted to…” Dang, she put me on hold even before I could say anything. She better be putting the other person on hold to get back to me. Michael Bolton music came on. Who selected these hold music? They were always the most cheesy, dreary and obnoxious music. As if they just wanted you to hang up because the music was so bad. I propped my chin on to my left hand while holding the office phone in my right hand with the phone cord all twisted and tangled. The music continued so I put the call on speaker mode so my hands would be free to unravel the tangled cord while I was waiting. Cord untangled. Bolton still wailing out of the speakerphone. I bet you she forgot about me! I hung up the phone and call back the office.

After three rings “Doctor’s office. May I help you?

“Yes, you may! Um… I was on hold…”

“Oh yes! Can I put you on hold?”

“No. Don’t put…” She was already gone and replaced by Michael Bolton again. I didn’t want to listen to Michael Bolton and I didn’t want to waste my whole lunch hour on hold. I hung up and pressed redial.

After four rings “Hi! You’ve reached the doctor’s office. If you have a life-threatening emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If you reach this recording, our office is closed.” What?!?! I was just on the phone with the office manager. What do you mean you’re closed?!?? “Our office hours are from 9am to 5pm. We’re closed for lunch from 12 noon until 1:30pm.” I looked over at the clock on the top right corner of my computer screen and it said 12:01pm. Damn it! Now I will have to wait a whole one and a half hour.

I slammed the receiver down and hung up. I devised a new plan to work for 45 minutes then head to lunch and then I would stop by the doctor’s office after lunch. It was just a few blocks from my office on the same street. And I was not going to take any chances with being put on hold or reunited with Bolton.

At 1:40 pm I walked right up to the reception area of the doctor’s office. “Hi! I was the one who called before lunch and was put on hold: Twice!”

“Sorry! We were really busy before lunch.”

“So, I decided to drive over to make an appointment.”

“Oh honey! I’m sorry you had to drive over.”

“When is the next available appointment?”

The office manager pulled out an appointment book and flipped the pages. She kept on flipping. Geesh, how far out would it be? She flipped back a few pages and paused, “So, the next available appointment will be in two weeks. Does that work for you?” Two weeks. Two whole weeks!! I couldn’t wait two whole weeks. I rolled my eyes looking around the room thinking two weeks. In the small waiting room, the dark wood panel walls made the space felt much smaller. Did they keep these panelings from the 70s and never bothered to redecorate? The coffee table was filled with Pasadena magazines with many copies with a professional headshot of my doctor proudly occupied the front-page headline “Best of Pasadena.” Of course, she was booked out because she was listed in the local Pasadena magazine as the number one GM office in Pasadena. That was how I found her, but that magazine was a few years old. Was she still this busy? She was a pleasant enough doctor, but every time I had an appointment with her, after about five minutes of checking my vitals and asking me one or two questions then just signed off and said “You’re all good!” And left the room. I felt that she was always rushing me. No time for chitchat or making a connection.

“I can’t wait two weeks.”

“What do you need to see the doctor for? Did you want a full health check?”

“No, I don’t need an annual health check. I just did one three months ago.”

“Then what do you want to see the doctor’s for?

“Um…well, I want to get a test to see if I’m pregnant.”

“Oh! Why didn’t you say so in the first place.” I felt like clobbering her in the head. First of all, she didn’t even let me speak when I was on hold and then assumed that I wanted to have an annual check-up when I was just here a few months ago.

“So, do I still have to wait two weeks for that? I really wanted…”

“Well, if you just needed to get a pregnancy test, then you don’t need to see the doctor. One of the nurses could do the test for you.”

“Oh! Great. So when can I get it done?” I was hoping that she would have something later this week or later today would be great.

“Hang on for just a sec.” Ok, here we go. This woman was abandoning me again. But thankfully this time there was no Michael Bolton music, just some faint sappy elevator music coming from the speakers on the ceiling.

“Ok. One of the nurses just finished her lunch and could take care of you.”

“You mean now!?”

“Yes, now. Unless you want later this week.”

“No. Now is great.”

“Also, should this be done by an OB?”

“Pregnancy test? Nah, it’s just a test so you don’t need an OB.”

“Right.” I had to be sure I was pregnant first before I needed to figure out and finding an OB.

So, just like that, the office manager whisked me through the door into an examining room. I didn’t have to wait long. The nurse came in and handed me a small clear plastic container with a purple lid and said, “Collect your pee in here. It doesn’t have to be full. And tighten the lid.” She opened a file folder with a long row of labels, pointed to them and asked, “Is this your name and your birth date?” I nodded yes. She pulled two labels. One she placed onto the pee cup before she handed it over to me and the other onto a small test tube.

“When you’re done peeing, I will come by to draw your blood.”

I filled the cup and the nurse came back to draw my blood. Once she pulled the needle out and placed a bandaid on me she said. “You’re done.”

“So, can I wait for the test result?”

“Unless you’re planning on sleeping here. It will take a few days to get the results.” I thought they could just put some sort of test strip onto the pee to tell and the same for the blood test, some sort of simple test tube manipulation would then yield the result.

“How many days?” I asked.

“I dunno. Two to three days depending on how busy the lab is.”

“Will I get a call? How will I find out?”

“Don’t worry. We will call you.”

“Will you only call if it’s positive?”

“No. We will call you with the test result either way.”

I walked out of the doctor’s office, fumbling with the car keys. Besides my sore chest, I noticed nothing else has changed with me. I didn’t feel nauseous. I didn't have any strange cravings or unusual mood swings. Everything was normal. Everything was the same. In two to three days I would find out if the home pregnancy was a fluke.