Night After Night
By: Edward Anderson
Tags: Short Story, Relationships, Satire, Humor, Romance

Night After Night

A late-night love story.

Image From Gadsden Porcupine

“Your name and mine inside a heart upon a wall. Still finds a way to haunt me, though they’re so small…” Ross sang softly as he navigated the maze of makeup chairs.

“You better not do that song on tonight’s show. You know how much Kelsey hates it when you do the oldies. And doing one tonight will only result in her being salty with you. Especially with him,” His makeup lady Susan, nodded her head towards a poster of Billy Collins. The hunk du jour for the moment. “I hope I get to do his makeup and play with his pecs.”

“You do realize that I’m not gay, right?” Ross looked ruefully at the picture, and wondered again why women went so crazy for the guy. Sure, Billy’s arms looked like they could be used as stand ins for mountains and his hair was as yellow as the sunlight, but he was dumb as a rock and without the sense of a penny. “Anyways, Kelsey would never go for him. She has too much integrity.”

“Honey, any lady with a pulse would climb on him. I told my husband that if Billy Collins were to come on to me this week, while he’s here, I would do everything with him.”

All the chatter stopped as Kelsey Simmons walked in. Ross sucked in a deep breath and tried to hide the smile that was creeping up on his face. The same way it always did when Kelsey was near him.

She sat primly in her chair, and her makeup artist asked the one question that would make any man’s heart stop: “Is it true that you and Billy hooked up last night?”

“He asked me if I wanted to go to a show. I thought he meant a play, he meant a strip club. Let me tell you that underneath his clothes is not a disappointment like we thought, ladies.”

After makeup was done, Kelsey and Ross walked to the stage together. “Billy wants to come out to very masculine songs this week. Something from Aerosmith, Megadeath, or if we have to go more modern Ed Sheeran.”

“I got it covered.”

Kelsey had been the host of Night to Night ever since the original host left due to creative differences. Along the way, her brash style had caused many controversies and won her 2 Emmy awards for Best Late Night Host.

After her monologue, she sat behind her desk with a sly smile on her face. It made Ross’ heart beat faster in his chest. Under normal circumstances, this was when they would banter but because Billy was the guest for a week, she would bring him out. “Tonight, is special because it begins Billy Collins week. And ladies, last night I lived out the dream of hate f — -. I had sex with the man who tried to have me replaced with his friend. Please welcome Billy Collins.”

Ross nodded to his band and they began to play the strings to “Toxic” by Britney Spears. It gave him small satisfaction to know that his enemy would be angry about it. Billy walked out, redder than the label of a Coke bottle. He hissed at Kelsey, “I had no idea you would share something so personal. And we talked about the music”

“My audience knows everything about my life. Plus, it’ll just end up in the tabloids anyways. So, you tried to have your BFF replace me as host of this show, and then you dipped your pen in my ink. What do you want to tell the world?”

Ross watched as the two volleyed insults and innuendos at each other. Even though his mother hated Kelsey, he knew that if they ended up together his mom would be tickled pink. She wanted him married already.

“So, are we going to confirm we’re dating or leave it as a one week thing?”

“Well you know the network wants me to have a clean-cut image for my new show, so let’s call it a one week stand. Especially after they stunt tonight….”

Without thinking, Ross blurted, “I love you, Kelsey. Quit degrading yourself with this creep!”

“We’ll be right back.” After the cameras cut off, Kelsey grabbed Ross and dragged him back stage. “What the hell was that?”

“I’m sick of loving you from afar. I want to be with you.”

“Listen, you are the kind of man that every woman dreams of being with. Kind, dependable, playful. Great qualities for a puppy or a husband but I don’t want those things. That stunt with the music and Billy was solid but not enough.”

Ross grabbed and kissed her. Their bodies fit together like a puzzle piece. When they pulled away, Kelsey smoothed her pants and left the room.

The rest of the show went by in a blur. Ross knew that the incident was all over the internet because his mom kept sending him links to new stories about him. Tabloids were having a field day with the new triangle of Billy/Kelsey/Ross. If they only knew that there was no hope for him to win her heart.

After a night of drinking and feeling sorry for himself, Ross slumped on the couch in his dressing room. Kelsey had yet to talk to him about their kiss. He was sure that he was fired.

Beep. Beep. Beep. The fire alarm sounded, and when he opened the door the sprinkler system had been set off. Water sprayed from the ceiling, as he made his way towards the exit. “Ross, Ross.”

He turned to find Kelsey running up to him. “That kiss yesterday was completely inappropriate.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I can turn in my resignation.”

“Actually, I don’t want that. Maybe you aren’t exactly my type but at least you’ve never almost burned down a studio by gyrating for a bunch of horny women.” He shot her a confused look. “Never mind. Let’s give this a try.”

Night after Night they did…