Two roads diverged in a wood.
By: Sheen Varghese
Tags: Meaning, Life Lessons, Thoughts, Choices, Life

Life is all about the choices you make. The little left or right from the box of logic. Most of the time it blindsides you on the range of repercussions it will cause. These ignorable little steps grow in mammoth proportions devouring up the zen. Thinking on a larger scale, worrying about the bigger picture is a catalyst to anxiety which we all hate or love to euthanize. Almost every time, tracing back those little steps and undoing the bad choices is often impossible. Most of us live with it. Cursing every other day, trying to think why is it okay and accept it as mere fate that one has no control over.

Most of our demons grow in size, ferocity, and vigor as we try to brush it aside. We spend decades trying to outrun these fears thinking one day they will just disappear. That one day almost never comes. Negativity becomes a constant companion. We become agreeable with it even to caress and adore at times of desperation. It becomes an excuse, a reason for all your childish gimmicks.

The instant receptacle of almost all our setbacks is our body. We stuff things with absolute nonchalance in the pursuit of instant joy. A bit of alcohol, a drag of nicotine, a snort of cocaine, a stamp of acid. We seek pathways to laidback glory just by loading our vessels with compounds we hardly understand. Channels to inner wisdom we think, a place of peace to shelter the troubled minds of generations of lost kids. The chase of pleasure is only a getaway from the miseries we face. The other side of pleasure is pain. Running after instant thrills last only so much.

How do you choose? Listening to yourself? Does your self have a unified voice? Is it not like medusa’s head with thoughts for snakes? Do this. Do that. Walk there. Click that. Don’t think about it. I am too tired for it. Would you trust yourself with a mind like that?

Most of the choices we make are only an aggregate of sensory inputs we get. Anyone could be anything and it rarely matters. Living a life according to a plan is often an inconceivable reality. Wherever we find ourselves in, manifests into the present leaving everything behind with each passing second.

Is the dichotomy a constant? Are there opposing planes for everything? Look a bit further into whatever you think you have chosen for yourself. Like a fractal, formations of chaos and order conjure up in everything. In a way you are predictable, but then in that predictability, you step out of the lane sometimes, just for the heck of it. There is disintegration in life and vice versa.

There is a set path we all are told to follow. Walk the path at the right times and you are on the track. Is it that simple? Is everyone alright who took this well-tread path? For all that is worth, they say, pick a side. One simple side.

Order or chaos. Predictable or erratic. Life or decay.

What system are you trying to hold on to? There is a multitude of us. Generics will not work for everyone. Everyone has to follow their own path. Decide to stand up for yourselves, to be strong, to be responsible and above all, to be in control. Do not go with the flow. Do not graze with the herd. Respect what you have, your mind, your body.

Feeling helpless pushes us to do extreme things. Some of us are truly helpless and it never makes sense to even think there is a meaning to all of it. But then, grab hold of all the wonderful things you possess in life for free. It is not a little thing to have a family that loves you and is ready to give up anything for your well-being. It is a blessing to have a roof over your head, comfortable bed to sleep on, to have your food served with love. There might be a myriad of variables in your life. External things that flash so bright that you lose sight of these priceless gifts.

Bliss is not on a faraway mountain nor in another person.

It is there in you. Every time you remember how lucky and grateful you are to breathe in life and sense the world around you, Every time you realize how irrelevant is your existence in this ever-flowing vastness of time and space, the spirit is kindled. The inner strength is all that matters. Be just to it. There is no point in following what is right to the person next to you. Everyone has to make their journey alone.

Looking back helps. Looking inside helps. There are always things that we love to do. There are always things that people tell us we are good at. Most of us ignore the little signboards in the wake of career and stability. You need to look out for them. They often guide you in the right direction. The kind of person you are at this moment will change after some time. Incarnation is life. We shed our inner and outer bodies to walk the earth as a new being. The process goes on. You can always change. You can always learn. You can always reset.

Sometimes to reset we need to cocoon ourselves. The spaces that provide much-needed nourishment is a necessity after years of anxious life. The time we spend with ourselves may it be in travel, may it be in a room often kindles a sort of self-sufficient behavior which is the core of personal strength to dismantle the evils of mental strain. Society is not always helpful. When you are at your vulnerable weak sensitive stature, you would rather avoid sensory bombardments from anything and everything. Make a safe space and reset.

Whatever you do, take care of yourself.

Being alone is one of the scariest things out there. If you have truly experienced loneliness, you must know that it is a formidable demon to get comfortable with(not always). It takes time to settle down and not go insane with all the storming thoughts trying to beat you down. Without your body to support your survival, loneliness could turn the most enviable individual into a dirtball. An inconsequential blob of matter. Oldage is the scariest thing there is for many. Carefully planned insurances for the sky-rocketing hospital bills, frugally lived decades to save up for those helpless times, Clung on relationships in a veiled hope of them taking care of your putrid mess. This ever following shadow of death and old age certainly drives a human to take upon things that seemingly provide him with the much-needed care and shelter at grave times.

Habituality becomes a rut if you do not find meaning in it. That is why necessities for life such as breathing is involuntary. Man must have meaning to the habits he undertakes. If he finds no point in life that he is living, the mind revolts. That is why most of us toil to raise a family. The back-breaking sense of responsibility forges the dread of being a mere cog in the social machinery into something meaningful. The feeling of being the man of the house, having to provide for the loved ones becomes a vessel of revival for him. Looking from the outside, becoming a parent might look like a life long pact of adulting to most, but in time many resorts to it. They find meaning in taking up all the challenges of rearing a human child. Meaning could be anything, as long as you find it. Raising a family ideally provides love, care, and support for a lifetime which any other system can hardly offer.

The approach of making sense of your grind by picking an even heavier load has helped many to find their purpose, but not all. Nothing works as a common casket for all of us. We are all different. We are all unique. Some find their purpose in taking risks and swimming against the current, being stubborn and getting up over and over again even after being kicked down for what they are. Some find purpose in fighting against injustice, being selfless, being good to others. Life is slow and dreary for a reason. If we take lessons from the patterns we follow, the things we do on a daily basis, a lot can be understood about ourselves. A lot can be bettered for our own sake. Just need to pay attention to the slow-moving life. On a larger scale of things we hardly matter. We live every day and we die. But if the perspective is shifted, we can acknowledge our leverage. All of us are connected to this world. The things we do, have an impact on both animate and inanimate things. We change the course of events by the little things we do. We can create/change the lives of others. Life is hard. That is the beauty of it.