Strictly 18+
By: Sara
Tags: Teens, Parenthood, Parenting Advice, Adulthood, Parenting

One of my friend who holds masters degree in psychology shared me this content few days back…

How to talk to your child at every age?

0 to 2 years

Touch is the first form of communication

Use tone and body language to enhance what you say

Respond to baby talk with conversation

Talking to your child despite his/her comprehension encourages language skills

3 to 5 years

Give your child your complete attention when possible

Watch your tone and body language

Help your child to put words to his/her emotions

Use the HELP strategy to develop emotional regulation skills

Offer limited choices and simple explanations

6 to 11 years

Make time to talk

Speak to your child in your respectful manner that presumes a level of maturity

When trying to get information from your child ask specific questions and keep talking even if they won’t talk back

Listen without contradicting and repeat what you heard in a more matured manner

Allow your child to have some input in family rules

Laugh with your child and admit your mistakes

12 to 18 years

Talk with your teen not at him/her

Show respect for your teens opinion

Find opportunities such as car rides and television commercials to talk with your teen

Respect your teens privacy and keep their confidences

Showing that you trust your teen will in turn encourage them to confide in you

Be yourself, a teen is old enough to respect you as an individual .

After reading this wonderful, precise, crispy content.

I asked him, how to talk to a 18+ kid? With a smile in his face he replied “18+ is no more a kid dude”

I said, a kid is a kid to his/her parents till the very end.

With some crazy reactions he replied, “then you do a research and write an article on.. how to talk to your 18+ kid”

As he said i started thinking and researching about this topic. Just because only at this age (18+) almost every problem begins. Most of the kids feel so abandoned, have no one to share things, have no one to guide and bring in clarity on their adult stuffs. Almost everyone of us learn all these nasty adult stuffs only through our teenage friend who doesn’t know anything about it.

Yes, your 18+ kid is legally an adult and legally responsible for their own behaviour. They can’t break laws, of course — being 18+ just means you are responsible, not that you’re free to do anything you please.

So how can you tell your child what to do when he’s legally an adult?

The truth is, no matter how old your child, you have the right to enforce the rules of your house. Your 18+ has to follow the rules just as much as your 4-year-old does. Of course, as kids get older, they can earn more privileges, and have more responsibility, but the age factor does not give them an excuse to be abusive (verbally or physically) or disrespectful. Your house rules are your house rules.

There’s never any excuse for abuse — no matter how old someone is. -James Lehman says.

One thing is for sure, If your 18+ kid is abusive. It is damn sure that you missed to communicate things that have to be communicated in their early stages (which mentioned above)

Do remember that, there is always a kid inside your young adult sometimes it may starve for attention. In times it may need a warmth of your touch, it may like to laugh with you, even in times it may struggle to put words into his/her emotions. Understand, do not judge, console them inside your arms. Teach them to think and take decisions intellectually at the same time teach them the value of emotions. Life is always a balance between any two extremes.

1. Build a foundation of good feelings.

Your adult kid must feel good to spend time with you, have fun, laugh together, praise and appreciate all little things whenever you get an opportunity. Simple statements such as, “I love how you explain things to Muththayyah,” can be powerful in fostering the feeling that you approve of your child as a parent. And parental approval is probably still important to your adult child.

2. Don’t let family ties be an excuse for rudeness.

Always before talking to your adult kid, ask yourself, “Would i speak this way to Angel?” (Angel — A young adult with whom you are so close, but who is not a part of your family). If the answer is no, then don’t say it, or say it in a different way. Our family members deserve at least the same courtesy that we extend to the world at large.

3. Don’t make statements about how you raised your children.

Such statements often have a built-in critical tone. It is your child. you hold responsibility to raise him/her in the best possible way. there is no sense in raising a statement on how you raised them. be aware that child-rearing philosophies and practices have changed since you were a young parent. Respect that.

4. Remember to listen.

Always communicating is composed sending out and receiving messages. Most of us having trouble with receiving messages. Sometimes we’re distracted. Sometimes we want to jump right in with our own ideas or solutions. Practicing listening skills can make almost any relationship healthier and happier. A little compassionate listening without judging will really do wonders in your relationship.

5. Love your adult child as well as your grandchild.

As i said earlier, there is always a kid inside your adult child. It always needs someone special to bring that kid out. Children sometimes humorously complain that once they provide us with grandchildren, they never get any attention. It’s important to nurture your relationship with your adult children. Do things with your children that don’t involve the grandchildren. Appreciate them as adults.

6. Have faith that your child will do a good job.

Basically, everything is build upon trust. Your faith and trust upon your adult kid will push them towards things. After all he/she had a good teacher.

Do remember that, Every kid you meet in office environment is just an another adult kid!

#happy_parenting