How to Write Great Sentences
By: Michelle Richmond
Tags: Grammar, Writing, Fiction Writing, How To Write, Sentences

How to Write Great Sentences

Learn to write clear, engaging sentences, the building blocks of prose

Student questions often help me to identify topics for new lectures. That’s exactly what happened with this question that I received yesterday from a student in my online Novel Writing Class.

A note from a student

In Lesson 11: On Endings & on Making Progress, I clicked on “the last word” at the very top which transported me to William Landay’s site. The site was a revelation, as was Graham Greene. And while there, I clicked on Mr Landay’s blog..and I was drawn to his article, “How writers write: Ian McEwan.” And in the article Mr McEwan talks about moving words around within a sentence. So with that preamble, could you please recommend an English grammar book that would school me on how to write a sentence, how to break down a sentence to its building blocks, the art of positioning words and then how to build a paragraph and a scene.

Building blocks of stories

Writers spend so much time talking about plot, character, setting, voice, point of view, and other elements of narrative craft that we sometimes forget to talk about one of the most essential building blocks of story: the sentence. Although I make an effort to point out great sentences in student work and to identify problematic ones, it occurs to me that I have yet to teach a lesson on simply writing a great sentence.

When I was in high school, I loved diagramming sentences. The clarity of those intersecting bars, the precision of the diagonal branches, was beautiful to me. I understood the mathematics of sentence structure in a way I could never understand numbers. However, it has been decades since I’ve taken the time to diagram a sentence. Some years ago, I spent four semesters teaching the nitty gritty of grammar to freshmen at City College of San Francisco. By the time I left City College to teach creative writing at California College of the Arts, I had practically memorized the grammar textbook. But that was a long time ago (and yes, I did just unapologetically begin a sentence with a coordinating conjunction.) When I’m writing, as when I’m editing, I simply go by ear.

Developing an ear for great sentences

Developing an ear takes time and practice — in the form of writing and reading. The more you read good books and good essays, the more adept you will become at instinctively recognizing what makes a good sentence. A good sentence can be long or short, replete with description or stripped down to its bones. What matters is that all of the parts fit together and flow logically.

Take, for example, this passage from the classic science fiction novel, The War of the Worlds, by H.G. Wells.

In spite of all that has happened since, I still remember that vigil very distinctly: the black and silent observatory, the shadowed lantern throwing a feeble glow upon the floor in the corner, the steady ticking of the clockwork of the telescope, the little slit in the roof — an oblong profundity with the stardust streaked across it. Ogilvy moved about, invisible but audible. Looking through the telescope, one saw a circle of deep blue light and the little round planet swimming in the field. H.G. Wells — The War of the Worlds

Although Wells wrote the serialized work 120 years ago — between 1897 and 1898 — the writing still retains its grace and clarity. These three sentences demonstrate a number of principles of good sentence structure.

The first sentence, which some English teacher somewhere in America would surely (and erroneously) label as a “run-on sentence,” holds up beautifully to scrutiny. It begins with a dependent clause (In spite of all that has happened since), followed by an independent clause (I still remember that vigil very distinctly). The use of the colon indicates that the next part of the sentence will elaborate on the first part. A colon is usually followed by an explanation or a list. After the colon, we have no fewer than four items of description (the black and silent observatory, etc). Notice how Wells appeals to the senses of sight (the feeble glow) and sound (the ticking of the clockwork).

The final phrase, a description of “a little slit in the roof,” is separated from the earlier part of the sentence with a dash. This simple dash provides more clarity than a comma would. If a comma had been used, “an oblong profundity” might be misread as a fifth item in the list, rather than a description of the preceding item. This is indeed a long sentence, but it isn’t a run-on sentence at all; a run-on sentence is one in which two independent clauses have been joined without a coordinating conjunction or appropriate form of punctuation. (Notice how, in the preceding sentence as well as in this one, two indpendent cluases have been joined with a semicolon; a semicolon has the same stopping power as a period, but with a softer landing.)

The long sentence is followed by a short one. This movement from long to short provides variety and is pleasing to the ear.

Ogilvy moved about, invisible but audible.

We have an independent clause (a phrase with a subject and verb that can stand alone as a sentence), followed by an independent clause that modifies (refers to) Ogilvy. There’s no question who is “invisible but audible;” it is Ogilvy, the only noun in the independent clause and therefore the only actor to whom the descriptive phrase “invisible but audible” can refer.

Finally, we have a dependent clause followed by an independent clause.

Looking through the telescope (dependent), one saw a circle of deep blue light and the little round planet swimming in the field (independent).

The word one in the middle of the sentence is the magic word here. One saves the first clause from being a misplaced modifier, also known as a dangling modifier. A misplaced/dangling modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that is incorrectly separated from the noun it modifies/describes. It appears to refer to the wrong noun or to no noun at all. If the sentence were written, Looking through the telescope, there was a circle of deep blue light, the phrase looking through the telescope would not refer to any reasonable noun in the second clause. Therefore, it would dangle awkwardly.

How to get better at writing sentences

While no one comes out of the starting gate with the sophistication of H.G. Wells, you can take steps to improve your sentence structure. Start by reading good literature and journalism to develop your ear. Journalism can be especially helpful to beginning writers, because journalism requires clarity and directness.

Then, spend some time with a grammar book. A basic grammar book can go a long way in untangling some of the complicated matters of syntax.

Get the book, SIN AND SYNTAX

Books that will help you write great sentences

A college-level grammar handbook, such as the McGraw Hill Handbook of English Grammar and Usage, will teach you how to analyze sentences and all of their moving parts. While such handbooks make for exceedingly boring reading, the exercises and explanations are helpful if you’re willing to do the work.

Get the book, IT WAS THE BEST OF SENTENCES