Starting Your Healing Process| How to heal + journal prompts|
By: Khadijat Aboderin
Tags: Self Improvement, Healing, Self Love, Journaling, Healing From Trauma

Photo by Cherry Laithang on Unsplash

Today I will be sharing ways on how to heal from past trauma and emotional baggage that may have been weighing down on you for years now to cultivate a healthier lifestyle for you and others around you.

I want to help you work towards being your best self.

To start this process all you need is the willingness to want to heal… that’s it

So healing… healing is a process! healing is hard and it hurts. Healing is not pretty and I am not going to use my platform to glamorize the process of it as you’ve probably seen other influencers do.

But know that this journey of healing is a rewarding thing to gift yourself with… especially with us in the holiday season

But to start like I said all you need is your willingness to want to heal and a journal or paper to write some things down if you feel called to do so

So before going ALL THE WAY IN…

*if you’re ready* REPEAT AFTER ME: I am ready for my journey towards healing wounds I am aware of and not aware of. Since this is a journey I am going to grace myself with unconditional love and support. I deserve to heal. I am worthy of healing. I can do this. *say this as many times as you may need*

The first step of healing is:

AWARENESS

This is a crucial step because a lot of us are not even aware of the baggage or triggers we have that need some serious TLC (tender loving care).

so ask yourself:

What stories from your childhood stick out in your memory?

As you ask this question detach yourself from trying to find one answer, write them all down.

You may feel that they aren’t significant but the ones that stick out are for a reason whether it was positive or negative.

if you feel called to do so after writing them down label whether those memories were traumatic for you or if they were positive events.

To make the most of this first step and journey in general you have to be really honest and even more vulnerable with yourself.

I have always had a problem with being emotional and showing emotions at all, so it took some time. But to honor myself in this process I had to be very patient and prayerful.

To share my experience during this step there were many things that came up.. but for some reason, I kept coming to a memory of me playing tag at a playground in Chicago when I was a shorty (where I am from originally). During us playing tag I was running so fast that I ran into a pole and got a cut on my eyebrow and had to go home. This was not necessarily a traumatic experience for me but it just reminded me of how “in the moment” I was as a child and how I want to work towards that.

not me getting hurt because I’m taking risks per se, but just the feeling of being free and happy and in the moment of life.

Some advice for you if you’re having trouble with this step is to honor yourself…. whatever that means to you.

If you need to take a break, do this in the morning, and/or phone a friend DO THAT.

I had to be entirely alone for almost a month, ghost some of my friends and get off social media.

it doesn’t have to be that intense but I was so committed to my healing journey that I did whatever I could do to build awareness within myself and not be distracted.

The next step of this process is:

UNDERSTANDING

close your eyes and ask yourself:

Have I considered anyone else’s perspective who was involved in this situation?

Being able to look at your situations from a nonbiased perspective is important and helps you realize that you thought of your situation from only one point of view…

AND/OR

Taking time to understand that you were not and were never the reason for whatever happened to you, which also sets you up for the forgiveness stage of this process

due to your type of trauma doing both or either or will help you during your healing journey

This step also helps you recognize assumptions you may have made that may have not been true.

PSA: This does not mean victimizing the other person (if there was a person involved), i.e. making yourself feel bad.

You and your feelings are very much valid but just being able to understand other factors in the situation sets you up for the next step.

Which is:

COMPASSION

imagine:

What would you say to your younger self?

It is important to have compassion for yourself throughout this healing journey of yours because we all deserve love and honestly how can we expect others to love us if we can’t love ourselves even through our worst.

So take this time to close your eyes and imagine what you would say to your younger self.

Are you hugging your younger self, saying I Love You, holding their hand, not breaking eye contact to show comfort & reassurance?

We all have an inner child that wants to be loved & seen.

With this step if there are other parties involved in your trauma finding compassion for them is equally as important as finding it for yourself.

Depending on what level you identify your trauma with this could be a very difficult step, so honor yourself with time. It will come soon

Remember this is a process.

For me, I had to remember the saying: HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

Hurt people over the course of the years employ a defense mechanism within so that it’s not them getting hurt anymore.

I am sure we can all think of an instance where we have hurt someone because someone else hurt us…

In my opinion, this is the BEST STEP because you are teaching yourself to empathize with others.

The next step is:

FORGIVENESS

FORGIVING OTHERS TEACHES YOU HOW TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

This is probably the most time-consuming step than any of the other ones BUT it helps you to let go of all of the baggage that has been weighing on your soul.

PSA: Those people who say “I’ll forgive but never forget”. I say this lovingly… you are not actually forgiving you are literally choosing to consciously remember the offense that someone has caused you. WHICH IS WEIGHING YOUR SOUL DOWN.

THE CHOICE IS IN YOUR HANDS TO RELEASE IT.

Easier said than done but, simply learn to let go.

For me, this was the hardest part of this process. I am a Christian so what really helped me was asking myself:

Who am I to expect God to forgive me for my sins and not forgive those who have trespassed against me!

Every morning I said out loud “God I am surrendering all of the baggage I have been taking on that have done nothing but weigh me down”

- I acknowledge that some people may not be comfortable with that so here is another tip I personally did that could help you.

Writing down the names of people who were involved in my trauma and burning or ripping it up.

TMI: I did that almost 8–10 times continuously so don’t think it’s not working like I said this is a process!

The next step is:

APPLYING

Taking into account all of these things that have happened to you to learn a lesson to be able to apply towards your life’s purpose.

“Knowledge without application is simply knowledge. Applying the knowledge to one’s life is wisdom — and that is the ultimate virtue” -Kasi Kaye Iliopoulos

Remember with this step you can choose to decide to let it apply to you in a way that has and is continuing to change you for the worst.

OR

You can choose to decide to let it transform you for the better.

Literally just a simple shift in perspective, again easier said than done but it works!

For me, it was recognizing my problems were meant for me to make me wiser and building me to pursue the purpose God (insert whatever you identify as the higher power if you identify) has created for me.

Now for the LAST STEP:

THE METAMORPHOSIS

This is the step where you are able to view your past experiences in a more grounded perspective with love.

where you can say & believe that you are ready for a new way of living.

ask yourself:

Am I able to see the love throughout my story?

If you want to go deeper

ask yourself:

Where do I see the love?

Once you answer that honestly, you will know if this is the start of a new journey in your life.

REMEMBER:

Honor yourself with love and time.

You will be where you need to be if you are committed to healing.

Trust your OWN path.

P.S. THIS WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE BUT ONLY UNTIL YOU LEAVE YOUR COMFORT ZONE WILL YOU SEE GROWTH.

“Suffering makes you feel safe because you know it so well.” -Miguel Ruiz, (Book) The Four Agreements

If you weren’t interested or scared of healing I hope this has influenced you to start, if you are still hesitant make a comment or contact me privately to talk more about it, if you have more questions.