Instant Memory, by Sebastian Troy
By: Sebastian Troy
Tags: Death, Humanitarian, Human Interaction, Humanity, Memories

We live in a day and age , when everything is at the swipe off a phone, a tap of an app, or a ping of a message. As a consequence, some things often don’t come across as sacred as they once did, or should. I lost a friend to a horrible tragedy today , and it had me pondering this. Though this isn’t the first time that I had.

I am now in my forties, I just turned forty- two a few months ago to be exact. Anyway, I’m old enough to have seen a lot of changes, I remember cassette tapes, floppy discs, record albums, VHS tapes etc. I remember more of an analog time before the internet. It was a time when only the rich had cellphones, and the poor were lucky if they even had a phone period.

There was one very important thing I remember about my past . If Uncle Frank, or one of your other relatives or friends suddenly passed away, it would take at least a day or two generally, to set up a memorial for that person. Half of the people in town wouldn’t even know about it, until the obituary was printed in the paper. Heck, some of the people didn’t even know about their passing until months or years later!

Don’t get me wrong, I think that in some ways, it’s good that people find out about these kinds of situations right away . It’s horrible to find out, that your best friend from high school died months or years after the funeral.

My friend died in an accident , late last night however, and by 6:00 AM .There are at least a dozen picture memorials posted to his memory on social media . The problem with this is , this is how I initially found out. Maybe this is how some of my recently deceased friend’s closest family members and friends found out….on social media!

Social media , where people comment rumors about people’s lives and deaths, before they even know the facts. I say that because , there are always rumors you hear about people on the internet. You see them posted by other folks , before you actually hear the facts in life from a legitimate source.

Another friend of mine died last summer. This was a very close childhood friend of mine. I found out about it , on social media first of course. ( We’ll call my friend Bob, to keep anonymity, and avoid confusion in this article) I first saw this, after I read a post that came across my screen . A friend of Bob’s sister, wrote that she was so sorry for her loss.

At first, I didn’t realize exactly who had passed. I checked Bob’s profile, to see if it was an older relative , (of his and his sister’s), that I knew was having health issues, had died. That wasn’t the case when I went to the page however. The first thing that I saw, was a post that read “ R.I.P. Bob Johnson…thoughts and prayers. “

My head had begun swirling, my friend Bob was only three years older than me , I was forty-one at that time, and he was forty-four. As far as I knew, my friend was in good health . I scrolled down the page however. Other friends of Bob’s were saying things like….”Why did you have to do it man? I didn’t know things were going that bad! “

After reading a few posts like that it, it had finally sunk in, that my friend had taken his own life. I found it highly inappropriate however, that myself , or anyone else for that matter had to find out like this . What has happened to our society? We are living in a very tacky age. Is anything sacred anymore?

Speaking of rumors , like I mentioned a few paragraphs up, things weren’t exactly like everything that I read, on that very tragic day. Yes my friend Bob did choose to take his own life. I read from some people, that he had taken pills, I read from others that he had shot himself In the head, when I actually talked to Bob’s brother in law, I found out that In reality Bob had hung himself. No one on social media had posted that fact.

I guess it doesn’t make any difference, exactly how my friend had taken his own life. He was gone by his own hand , anyway that you want to look at it. I do find it ironic however , that these tacky know-it-alls , got it wrong! You may ask why would I write an article about something so personal to me, if I find it so very tacky? Well my name isn’t really Sebastian Troy( this is just a pen name) and his name isn’t really Bob, as I wrote earlier. So, I feel that I’m giving these details, the proper respect that they deserve.

I would hope one day when I die, that my closest family and friends know about it first. I would also hope that my body remains cold for a few days, before anyone posts a memorial about me . I hope these these thoughts, because these thoughts are just relics from my past. A past where times seemed just a little more sacred , and less tacky. I guess everything doesn’t get better with technology….

Thank you for reading,

Sebastian Troy