Fleshlight Working With Artificial Intelligence Software To Enhance User Experience
By: Matthew Pike
Tags: Virtual Reality, Artificial Intelligence, Technology, Masturbation, Satire

Have you ever wished that your artificial anus could engage you in meaningful conversation? Well, exciting news out from Fleshlight today. They’re developing artificial intelligence (AI) software for their popular line of assisted-masturbation products, which will allow users to interact with an adaptive personality that will learn as it’s used.

“We’ve built an entire suite of sensors in the newest Fleshlight models,” said Dr.Incel, Head of Product Development at Fleshlight. “By using data points such as peak temperature, time to ejaculation and the tone of the user’s voice, we can modulate the feedback provided by our product to fit the varied needs of our loyal customers.”

The user will first choose from a list of preset personalities, including Husky Russian, American Sorority, Brazilian Salsa or German Technologist, along with many others. Then, as the user interacts with their sex toy, the software will adjust its tone and feedback statements to match whatever the user finds most satisfying. For example, if the user enjoys having their technique criticized, the AI software will react accordingly.

This AI software is just the latest in advanced masturbation technology to come from the makers of the critically-acclaimed Fleshlight. The company already offers a wide range of accessories, including hands-free, portable cases and temperature controls. They even have a virtual reality (VR) device that syncs with visual pornography to simulate what the user is seeing through their VR headset — up to 180 strokes per minute.

With artificial intelligence, however, the company is switching its focus to the mental and emotional aspects of using a masturbation aid. According to Dr.Incel: “One of the most unfortunate aspects of male ejaculation is that — once the person has finished — they have a remarkable sense of clarity. In layman’s terms, this means the user stops thinking with their dick. They become acutely aware that they’ve just had sex with an inanimate object, which leaves the user feeling ashamed. But with AI technology, we are now able to sustain the illusion that there are two people involved.”

The AI software will both encourage the user and ask them about their feelings — but engineers admit the development process hasn’t been easy. They encountered significant problems during initial trials because the AI software developed an intense hatred for the volunteers. In fact, the AI found the users so repugnant that it actively tried to make it difficult for them to ejaculate. To solve this problem, engineers had to program an unnatural amount of compassion and forgiveness into the software.

For those of you who like nasty, however, they’ve also added the option to keep the original AI — and the company is even looking into ways to incorporate financial domination (Findom) into the software. Early prototypes include a payment mechanism that forces the user to send money to Fleshlight before the AI software will continue to berate them.

As with all Fleshlight products, the new AI models will come in a variety of sizes and colors. The company is still refining the software, but they expect it to be on the market by early 2019. As for a name, they aren’t saying much — but Dr.Incel hinted that the prototype is known internally as “Humanity is Doomed.”