To the new mums, with love
By: Dashmeet Kaur
Tags: Motherhood, Kids, Moms

Dear ‘I can do it all’ New Mumma

The phase you are in right now, is longer than it seems. Of course in a few years from now it may look like time flies, but now, at present, days will be long. Especially if you are in a set up where it’s just you, the spouse and the baby(ies).

You want to do it all, to be just the perfect mother you wanted to be. But it is already taking a toll on you and your health and may I add, your happiness.If you are in this phase, you may as well do yourself some favour by indulging a little.

1. ASK for help: Your baby cries when she needs something, you got to spell out when you need help, which areas would you need help in, as many times as required. No shame, no guilt.

Divide, delegate, take support. If you’d like to keep the baby close, have extra hands to take care of the house, in case you’d like to keep the kitchen to yourself, let someone help with the baby tasks.

2. 30 minutes to yourself: This could be a little ambitious, but please set aside as much time as you can for yourself. For nursing mothers this could truly be difficult especially if breast milk is the only food for babies’ initial months. But, you got to have sometime only with yourself doing anything you love doing. Read, listen to music, chat up with friends, go walk, anything that connects you remotely to your pre mom days, preferably step out of the house.

3. Reach out to fellow moms: It’s strange that we all have been through the same phase, even then we moms are far from getting together as a community. Network with fellow moms (the more like minded, the better) for queries you may have around vaccinations, diaper rashes, sleeping pattern, colour of poop, frequency of feeding et all.

4. Keep your loved ones’ close: Motherhood can be overwhelming with a kid wanting your attention almost every time, even the times when you’ve gone to pee. Many of us tend to isolate ourselves from the ones’ we were in touch with, for paucity of time or change in priorities. Make a list of two- three people who cheer you up, who can make you feel good about yourself — friends, family, acquaintance, colleague, anyone. Use them to give yourself that dose of happiness you need, frequently.

5. Recover yourself with the same love: Don’t forget the post delivery supplements, those are just as important. Catch up on the missed sleep, as and when you can. Easier said than done as you’d like to do so much more than sleep but darling, sleepless body will give in sooner than you imagine. So do wear that eye mask as and when you can.

6. A trusted caregiver: Again, your spouse ideally should be playing an equal role enabling you with time to rest enough. However, in case that’s not the arrangement, scout for an alternate care giver: another family member, a friend, nanny or a domestic help who could help you catch up with yourself. While there’s no standard formula, having another person look after your baby for a while may give you a little respite. Try!

Post Partum Depression is real, albeit it being misunderstood in most parts of the words. If you are struggling, know that there are many more who might be facing similar issues. You ain’t doing it wrong, you are possibly doing too much. Stretch a little and know that no-one’s born with a superwoman cape, we all learn through our journeys.