6ix Baggers — №45: Nostalgia and a lone MVP vote for Ryan Tepera
By: Jackson Murphy
Tags: Toronto Blue Jays, Baseball, Ryan Tepera, Trade Rumors, Nostalgia

Why aren’t they making these movie glasses anymore? I remember drinking out of something like one of these. These Empire Strikes Back cups from Burger King from 1980 are beautiful — and would be really nice for a classic cocktail. Collector culture is stronger than it ever has been, but somehow we haven’t gotten back to the basics and done glasses giveaways. 2020 being 2020 you can get these bad boys on eBay for about 50 bucks. Too bad I used my monthly eBay budget this week to score Magnum PI and Knight Rider cards. Yes, I have a problem.

It is amazing that something you collected 40 years ago, with a fast food burger is still selling for over 12 dollars a glass. As Ron Burgundy would say, “Heck, I’m not even mad, that’s amazing!” It’s why people are now designing their own versions for The Mandalorian.

So where’s my Blue Jays 2021 set of collectable cups? I want my Bichette-Vladdy-Biggio-Ryu cups! Is it because we can’t have nice things and might throw them on the field? That’s the power of nostalgia and collectables. It’s why people actually show up on Bobblehead giveaways. It’s how Don Draper sold pretty much everything in Mad Men. “Nostalgia — its delicate, but potent. Teddy told me that in Greek nostalgia literally means ‘the pain from an old wound.’ It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone.”

It’s the same logic driving the NHL to create retro uniform rollouts, the NBA to create their City Edition, and even baseball’s Players Weekend, which, let’s be honest, didn’t work out as well. It’s why local breweries can make beers like Left Field’s 10 Cent Beer Night in a nod to the infamous 1974 cheap beer night in Cleveland. It’s how Tim Hortons is selling 14–15 million packs of hockey cards with their coffee.

It’s why I’m still thinking about the absolutely universal boom of Southwest Egg Rolls in restaurants in the mid to late 90s. Wait is it just me wanting a completely trash 90’s appetizer back on menus? Can you imagine living in a world without knowing these criminally underrated trash appetizers? How do Zucchini sticks persist, and yet these have been relegated to the trash heap of history?

I mean sure, I guess Chilli’s inexplicably still has them on the menu, but it was always when The Keg carried something like this you knew it had passed some sort of trend overload. Southwest Egg Rolls are the Micheal Scott of appetizers. And certainly less of a joke than the Awesome Blossom, which admittedly I have driven to the United States to try — and with the extra awesome. The waiter wasn’t amused. The point is, for baseball to really get relevance they need to be going so much further on giveaways and exclusives to drive fan engagement. They are kind of in the after-trend, Keg-just-rolled-out southwest-eggrolls phase. Dare I say it but they need to get more Tim Hortons?

That brings us to Ryan Tepera. Former Blue Jays reliever from 2015–2019. As the league announced their annual award winners, Tepera got one 10th place vote for MVP. It placed him tied for 18th place. As ESPN noted, “Still, that’s more support than the likes of Bryce Harper, Jacob deGrom and Nolan Arenado drew as they got shut out.” Teppera, had a decent season striking out 31 in 20 ⅔ innings and going 0–1 with a 3.92 ERA. A commodity in the bullpen for sure, but a very funny MVP candidate — kind of like a write in vote for the Presidency. Turns out St. Louis Post-Dispatch writer Rick Hummel had meant to hit Trea Turner, and ended up with Ryan Tepera.

Hummel, known as “The Commish” by his writer peers said, “I’m sure the Tepera family is delighted, but there’s no way I would have voted for him. It was an accident.” Ouch. No need to say it like that Rick. But like everything in 2020, we now get a small little error that we can always look remember when we come across 2020 — hey wait, that’s precogging nostalgia for later — isn’t that neat? If I was Tepera I’d be updating my Twitter bio to something like, “18th place 2020 MVP Award nominated pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. Sam Houston State Bearkats. @adidasBaseball.”

Lastly, and most importantly, the scariest words I’ve read in the Blue Jays offseason so far is this musing about them potentially trading to get Francisco Lindor from Cleveland. That is a good thought, but if they are considering including Alejandro Kirk we are going to have words. “Indians get: LF Lourdes Gurriel Jr., C Alejandro Kirk (Blue Jays’ №6 prospect), SS/3B Kevin Smith (Blue Jays’ №19 prospect).” Don’t get me wrong Lindor is a great player. But if that means moving Bichette, losing Kirk, and then missing out on Lindor after 1-season then what’s the point?

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