Your golden handcuffs could be caused by this one thing (it’s not what you think)
By: Lisa Lewis Miller
Tags: Financial Freedom, Career Advice, Values, Money, Career Change

One of the biggest hurdles between people and careers they really love is money.

I was on the phone with a potential coaching client last week who told me he felt he had so much left to give and desperately wanted to make a bigger impact with his work…but also needed to be making more money.

(That’s what a lot of us think and feel when we’re first contemplating a career change!)

So, I pushed him on it.

“If making more money is your number one priority, it’s going to limit the way you evaluate opportunities to make an impact through a very narrow lens. Are you willing to consider taking a paycut to increase your impact?”

(I haven’t heard from him since.)

Now, I’ve never had a client who didn’t value money and financial stability at some level. Money can help you solve a lot of problems.

But, if making more money is your #1 value — the value you hold higher than joy, connection, or courage — then I probably cannot help you find a more fulfilling career.

Your inner GPS is already calibrated and will lead you towards what you value most. When that value is money, your GPS will guide you towards more of it. But, more often than not, it’s usually at the cost of your other values.

My most successful clients don’t hold money as their paramount value. They value something else — be it balance, happiness, freedom, or contribution — more than they value money. Money’s still up there for them, but it isn’t the ultimate end game. It’s an instrumental value, not a fundamental value.

Instrumental versus fundamental values is a fabulous concept and distinction I learned from Adrian Klaphaak, the founder of A Path That Fits. Instrumental values are the things we value because they’re a vehicle to something else. (Some examples are time or money.) Fundamental values are things we cherish in and of themselves (like balance, happiness, freedom and contribution). Fundamental values are where you want to arrive, and instrumental values are often your pathway there.

This might sound like semantics, because money often seems like a natural vehicle to live in alignment with your values. With more money, you should be able to buy more balance because you can hire help. You should be able to buy more happiness because it’s easier to spend on plane tickets to trendy tropical locales or expensive hobbies. (Competitive equestrian riding, anyone?) Or buy more freedom because you have a “fuck off” fund so can walk away from your employer whenever you want to, or charitably contribute your extra discretionary income.

But pursuing money as the only means to get these value-based ends is incredibly limiting.

Sure, money is ONE way to live in alignment with your values…but there are oodles of other ways, too.

And pursuing money with the belief it will lead you to tons more happiness doesn’t play out in the data. In the 70s, economist Richard Easterlin did a study of self-reported happiness levels in different income brackets. His findings showed that levels of happiness remain relatively stable no matter what amount of money you’re making. And, while more recent studies show a wee bit more correlation between income and happiness, overall the trends still look like we’re on a capitalistic hedonic treadmill. We feel like we need more money to get to more happiness, but, when we finally get more money, our happiness isn’t really changing significantly.

Plus, behavioral economics research says there’s a big difference between how we imagine we’d spend extra money and how we actually do. The data around the “wealth effect” (an economic trend where when you have more money, you spend more) means we’ll take it for granted that our new income is going to be our new normal income and increase our purchasing accordingly. The Notorious B.I.G. was right: mo money *does* mean mo problems.

Instead of saving up a freedom fund, trying to create financial independence, or starting that nonprofit, we usually end up buying a more expensive home, sending our kids to private school, or getting a nicer car.

Do these purchases increase our happiness? Sometimes! Do they align with our values? Also, sometimes!

Do these expenses limit our ability to do other things and pursue the rest of our values? 100%.

We want more money because it seems like the surest pathway to freedom. But instead of feeling free, when we make more, we just slip on an upgraded pair of golden handcuffs.

Our decisions about spending can become the subconscious chains that bind.

We can’t quit our soul-sucking but high paying jobs because we need that income to pay for our new gym membership to help us burn off stress from work, to afford the fancy therapist to help us process our feelings about work, to order the lunches (and dinners) we eat at our desks because we’re working so much, to afford the yoga retreat in Bali to regain our zen after the toxic treatment we’re receiving at work…you get the idea.

And when we think about how chasing Benjamins affects your life over time, it can look bleak. I can’t tell you the number of current and future parents I’ve worked with who feel like they have to make more to give their (current or future) kids a certain life… but end up working (or traveling) so much that they only see their kiddos on the weekend. They spend so much time away that they don’t actually know their kids.

Or, their children start acting out at school because they’re wanting more attention than their parents can give them because their parents are too busy trying to buy them a great life. Do you want your kids to watch you on a hedonic treadmill, trading off so many other important values just so you can watch your bank account balance (hopefully) rise?

When you treat money like it’s a fundamental value instead of an instrument, it can start to run (and ruin) your life.

And, weirdly, for those clients that value something else more than money? An astronomical percentage of them end up making more money anyway. They earn more as a byproduct of going all-in to pursue their values, because employers love (and reward) someone who’s energized, creative, and dedicated. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

If you make the courageous choice to pursue work that pays decently but has a huge return on investment for your happiness and energy, you’ll be able to create the rich life that you want without having to focus on riches.

And isn’t a rich, nourishing, aligned life what we all ultimately want?

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Lisa Lewis is a career change coach who helps unfulfilled individuals create lucrative, soulful, and joyful new career paths. Don’t love your job? We should talk. Learn more at GetCareerClarity.com or check out The Career Clarity Show podcast on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play.