Are we scared, to be honest?
Tags: Afraid, Freedom Of Speech, Freedom, Social Justice, Honesty

Honesty and intentions go hand in hand.

Now, there is a connection between honest people and assholes. Look at Gordon Ramsey, Kate Hopkins and I bet you can name many more in your life and on tv.

There is also a difference between honesty and brute honesty. It all carries in the intention of the act. If we take your significant other asking you “Am I fat” as an example.

I won’t bore you with the different ways to be honest (I’ll do that later…) The intention of your honesty matters.

Saying something like “Ahh, yes. You’ll never find someone else… You gained 100 pounds… You can try and debate this as much as you want but your intentions are not good. The way your speaking is in an abusive, unsolid and selfish tone.

So although you are being honest you're an ass hat.

Saying yes, you should come to the gym with me tomorrow.” etc. Is a much nicer way of putting it. Intention and purpose of honesty matter more than the honesty itself. If your honest but your intension is to be a troll it won’t be picked up well. If your honest but you intend to start an argument, you won’t be perceived well even though you're being honest.

This is the main difference when you see the way Gordon Ramsey and Katie Hopkins are perceived by people.

Gordon Ramsey is brutal. My favourite moment is the idiot sandwich…

That’s beside the point. He’s brutally honest, debatable, not in the best way to be honest but I digress.

He does it with the intention of making you (or the cooks, restaurant owners etc) to be better (and an element of comedy or to create dama on for a show but that's not important).

Whereas Katie Hopkins seems to be honest because she wants a fight or she wants the audience to not like her. We can debate all night if she is coming from a hateful place but the honesty is brutal but the intentions come from a mixed place.

Which leaves us right onto our next paragraph.

Honesty and the connection to the next level and it’s perceived relevance with hate.

The first stage in realizing you have an addiction is being honest with yourself. A drink at the weekend can be an easy thing to play down and something I wouldn’t consider an addiction. The weekend drink turns into weekday drinks. That’s okay too because ‘your day was hard’ you can see where this is going but the point of turn around is honesty and self-reflection but that’s less important.

Judgement is what connects hate to honesty.

You get angry you get a test wrong but can you look back honesty and tell yourself that you studied enough? I have examples for days. The point being is you can keep your self in ignorance and bliss but be honest with yourself and grow.

We don’t like being less than ourselves.

I have had acne now for a few years and although I can have a conversation about it without getting butthurt over it, I can’t help but judge. Myself, doctor, others and what they might be thinking. The list goes on.

Although I am honest with myself and others around this topic, I don’t like it because of the judgement.

We can take someone saying. “You have acne.” There is nothing wrong with it. They're pointing out a fact. It’s the implemented judgement we tend to take along with it. Our minds go to “So they think I don’t wash properly.” “So they think I am disgusting.” Etc.

If we go back to the “am I fat?” question. If saying yes is you being honest (Of course intention matters here) then there shouldn’t really be a problem. I put on a few pounds at (and sometimes before) Christmas.

It’s the link to the judgement that riles us up. “They must not love me anymore” Or wherever your mind goes, you still see them as judging you.

The most important place, to be honest, is with yourself.

With the internet and (*cringe*) society how it is. I can understand why you would just agree and go along with your day. I do. I do it from time to time, I am trying to reduce it but I can still understand why people just shut up and keep moving.

If you take anything away from this is the place where it matters most is being honest with you.

Don’t ask you're significant other if your fat. Get on a set of scales and show yourself.

Don’t give yourself the same lie about your drinking problem or using excuses, no matter how valid they are.

Don’t say ‘girls don’t like me’ and be honest with yourself if you could have approached her differently.

Yes, it is important, to be honest with those around you. No one likes a liar or a fraud, but step 1 is being honest with yourself. No excuses. Complete honety. It’s the first step in becoming better.

Peace 1rish