My Perfect Day
By: Mark Starlin
Tags: Humor, Fantasy, Fiction, Dreams, Other Stories

I woke up on my first day of retirement with nothing on my calendar (ahhh.) I thought it would be a good idea to check my financial situation since I wouldn’t be earning an income anymore. To my surprise, one of the funds I had invested in had gone crazy, and my 401k was now worth 20 million dollars, which was 19.95 million higher than yesterday. Not bad, I thought.

I called my wife, Lee, and told her she could quit her job. She said her goodbyes and came home. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the temperature was a perfect 73 degrees with a gentle breeze blowing. So we decided to go for a walk. We walked to the open field by our house. I looked up in the sky and noticed a hot-air balloon descending. It landed, and a man got out and approached us.

To my delight, it was Professor Tinkerhoffer from the Island of Phiddle. He asked us if we would like to join him for lunch and a tour of the island. Naturally, we took him up on his offer and climbed into his balloon. After an exhilarating ride, we arrived on the Island of Phiddle. He must have known a shortcut because we arrived in a surprisingly short amount of time.

We landed at the home of Jimmy and Betsy Toocalm. It was Phiddleberry Friday, and their children were enjoying Phiddleberry jam on toast, and conversation with birds of the air. We joined them for a huge slice of Betsy’s famous Phiddleberry pie. Unexpectedly, Jude The Animal Expert Dude showed up and joined us. He told us he was on Phiddle studying Warbles, the singing animals found only on the top of Mount Phiddle. We spent lunch listening to Jude tell us of his adventures in the field.

After lunch, the professor escorted us to his workshop, where he spent an hour explaining the many gadgets he had invented. I couldn’t help but notice the strange contraption in the middle of the workshop. It had many dials and pipes and gauges and a large padded chair. I asked the professor about it.

“Oh, that is a time machine. Actually, it is the second time machine I have created. The story of the first one is too sad of a tale for a perfect day.”

“Could you take us back in time?” I asked.

“I can, but time travel is a tricky thing. There are as many risks as rewards,” the professor replied.

“What do you think?” I asked Lee.

“I don’t have to work tomorrow,” she said.

So we decided to risk it.

“What time would you like to visit?” the professor asked.

“How about the wild west,” I said.

“Magnificent idea. I have never visited that time period. Shall we?” the professor said motioning to the time machine with his hand.

We all squeezed onto the large chair. Incredible noises and lights surrounded us and then, boom. We found ourselves somewhere in the old west, near a small town in the desert. As we sat there in wonder, a cowboy rode up and introduced himself.

“Howdy folks. Name’s Hollister Bootstone. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a time machine come through these parts. What time you from?”

Lee and I sat there with our mouths open.

Professor Tinkerhoffer said, “The future. It’s better if you don’t know too much.”

“I reckon that’s for the best. You folks hungry?”

We accompanied Hollister to town and stopped at the saloon for some of the best chips and salsa I ever ate. Hollister told us many tales of his adventures as we snacked the afternoon away. The professor thanked Hollister for his hospitality and said we needed to be moving on.

“Ya’ll come back and see us again,” Hollister said.

We climbed onto the time machine, and the professor said, “When to now?”

Lee said, “I’d like to visit 1980?”

“Why then?” the professor asked.”

“That is when Mark and I had our first date,” she replied.

“You want to fix that mistake?” I said, and laughed.

“I’m still deciding,” Lee replied.

“Now, you realize you will not be young again when we go back. And you will not be able to interact with your younger selves. It is far too dangerous, as you could change history. You can only observe from a distance,” the professor said,

“That is fine,” Lee replied.

“Can we make one detour? I would love to stop in Flint, Michigan, and get some Supreme donuts. It was a tragedy when they went out of business,” I asked.

“Absolutely,” the professor replied.

Boom. We landed in Flint, Michigan, in 1980. After ordering two dozen donuts from Supreme donuts to take home with us, we jumped over to Ypsilanti, Michigan to Put-Putt Miniature Golf. There the three of us watch an incredibly shy young man trying to find something to say to a beautiful young woman who was way out of his league and had to do most the work keeping the conversation going.

“We were so young,” Lee said.

“Teenagers. I was so nervous. And clueless. Who asks a girl to go mini-golfing on a first date?”

“You,” Lee said.

“We better be going before I start blubbering,” Professor Tinkerhoffer said.

We climbed aboard the time machine, and the professor said, “One more trip, then we better get back. I promised to take Jude up to the top of Phiddleberry Mountain again. Where to?”

“I’d love to visit Hugsville again. In the present time,” I said.

“Here we go,” the professor said and off we went.

We walked into the Hugsville Diner, and Shelly said, “My stars. Is that you, Mark Starlin?” She walked over and hugged me.

“It is. In the flesh. This is my wife, Lee.”

“Pleased to meet you, Lee,” Shelly said and hugged Lee.

“And this is Professor Tinkerhoffer.”

“Welcome to Huggsville, Professor.” Shelly gave the professor a big hug.

“You folks have a seat. I am going to call Bill. He will want to come see you.”

We sat down and had a delicious dinner. Afterward, we had some of Shelly’s delicious cherry pie. Bill and two children came through the door. Bill grabbed me out of my chair and wrapped me in a big bear hug. After introductions, he hugged Lee and the professor also. We caught up on each other’s lives and had a great time. After more hugs, we were on our way.

We made it back to Phiddle, and after some more sight-seeing the professor flew us home. We walked back to our house and noticed an envelope taped to our front door. Inside were tickets to a Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors concert being held that night at the local amphitheater. As we enjoyed the show, we wondered who had put the tickets on our door. What a nice surprise. After the concert, there were fireworks over the pond by the amphitheater (for my wife, who loves fireworks.)

It was a perfect day.