An Exercise in Processing 2020
By: Brian Mims
Tags: 2020, Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Emotional Regulation, Self Regulation

Celebrity deaths, wildfires, and even civil unrest isn’t entirely new to us, but given the context of a global pandemic, all these things are amplified. Staying home might have seemed great at first, but then devastation came again and again and there was little we could do, but sit with it. Work was from home, or converse perhaps unemployment meant despondency and stagnation. Regardless our lives where changed ubiquitously in ways we never would have imagined in our lifetime. Some say this year is equivalent to an entire lifetime, but with life there’s always good with bad, we’ve just been fed the bad. Looking at the catastrophes throughout the year as exacerbated by the pandemic’s restrictions on being able to see our loved ones, and community as “entirely negative” is quite frankly, a lie. You may have to search long and hard, but for many this year has revealed things about themselves, their relationships, and careers they would have never imagined.

You’ve had plenty of time to process the negatives of 2020. For all of us, this year took a toll on our mental health, processing this year should not be something that further injures you. The purpose of processing this year really isn’t for the sake of cataloging the events that have occurred, but rather for investing in the upcoming year; 2021. Perhaps you’re cynical about 2021, after all we’re still in a pandemic. Also, let’s be honest with ourselves, you have every right to be cynical.

Constant cynicism easily gives way to stress which in turn can be the catalyst for weakened health. Rather than cynicism, practicing caution and preparation for the next year will equip you with resiliency and flexibility. Preparing yourself with a fresh mindset and outlook on what the future holds for you, in light of what you’ve learned and acquired this year, will empower yourself for success.

First, begin by pondering any good things that have happened to you directly or indirectly this year. Take time to do this, seriously. You may need to isolate yourself for a moment. Yes, you’re likely to be already isolated, but do so intentionally so that you are free from distractions. Mute your notifications for a moment. Yes, that’s right, no news is good news when processing this hectic year. Now, really consider the good things that may have happened this year. Perhaps you got a new job, a loved one had a baby, or you might have even learned a new skill (yes, bread-making counts!). These wins, as small as they might feel, call for some form of celebration. Think back to these moments…fully imagine and remember these wins. Now, time for some active self care: make a list of 3 meaningful positive things that may have happened this year, at least one should be relational.

Now that you’ve created this list, go ahead and say aloud why you’re thankful for the positive. Do this for each of the 3 on your list. Gratitude for these experiences is the catalyst to begin, or continue, the growth you’ve had this year. Whether that be maturity in your career, emotional agility, or even an increase in your emotional regulation skill set.

The short exercise suggested above should have revealed to you that 2020 was the year of burgeoning growth rather than brokenness.

You’ve likely had to consistently self-regulate more than you ever have in your adult life, and guess what…you’ve made it through! Now more than ever, spreading positivity from a place of transparency and increased presence will allow us to be more resilient than we ever have imagined going into 2021.