Self Care on the Day of Love
By: Tania Behselich
Tags: Self Care, Valentines, Love Yourself, Relationships Love Dating, Self Love

We know that Valentine’s Day is about “spreading love to those we care about.” I did that by wishing a Happy Valentine’s Day to my sons. I will not forget them. A couple of other people like a girl that is a friend and spread some positive words to me and others.

Today I don’t feel sorry for myself, not feeling alone or lonely, wishing someone was around with me, a date, or relationship. Rather, it is has been about being happy, content, and a continued day of self exploration. Before today I do have self care and have practiced it. As a Crisis Counselor at Crisis Textline this skill was taught to us which has been incredibly valuable. Crisis Textline is throughout the world now so my hope is that the non profit brings to more continents the concept of self care. This should not be a foreign term but truly it is and we were not raised with this instilled as a value. Being a soldier and now Veteran of the United States Army we gave everything we had to a larger purpose which was incredibly valuable. However, we tend to forget about ourselves as individuals.

Today my self care was drinking as much Diet Pepsi that I wanted, eating sugar free beef jerky, preparing to Proctor at a gig locally, and just not surrounding myself with a man that doesn’t value the holiday or other holidays for that matter. I do not mind someone that does not value the holiday. Rather what I do care about is compromise and a partner to take into consideration it means something to me and I don’t want to feel guilty for this or put down. As a woman with the love language where I crave to hear these words, many men consider it enough to change the oil in our car for example or maybe doing something like fixing something in the house. Sometimes love and care is shared because they want to be around you frequently. I do appreciate these things however it seems to be some of the basics in a relationship. It also doesn’t care for my need to hear how much they love me if they do at all. By ignoring the holiday many of us take this hard even if we verbally downplay the holiday or what we want. As women we are raised and mentored to be passive and say “what ever you want honey.” Sometime if we share what we want it is dismissed for many reasons. It is not fair men have to do these things, it is commercialized, if I change the oil in your car or make shelves for you that is enough and showing you I love you. What about my feelings, want and desires?

Self care has now grown in popularity on the internet. Here some ideas I’d like to share with you in case you don’t have a self care plan. Spend time with friends or family, pet your cat or dog, buy yourself flowers, go for a walk, take a bath, take a nap, light a candle, use aroma therapy, exercise, reach out and talk to someone you care about, volunteer, put on make up, read a book or listen to one on tape, journal, find resources if it is applicable to your situation, spend time on Pinterest or Facebook, geocaching, pick up a favorite magazine, art, donate to Goodwill, online shopping, binge a great show on Netflix, make a favorite recipe and eat by candle light, or buy yourself a gift. Feel free to comment and add your favorite self care things to do.

For me I took a nap, made some critical calls, will go to sleep early, put on a moisture mask, spent time with my kitties, and just stayed away from people that negatively speak about my values about Valentines Day including a person I date. I just choose not to feel badly. I wan’t to feel love. And so, I loved myself.