Self-love
By: Sakshi Dixit
Tags: Teenagers, Growing Up, Self Love, Teenage Mental Health, Mental Health

I don't really know what that word actually means but let me just write what it means to me. For some reason I have never dated anybody or should I say, I wasn't liked by anyone. Let me just put it this way. When you are 13 and you are “experiencing change” not only in a physical sense but it includes emotional, psychological and mental sense. And you see your peer group experiencing same. Some of them hit puberty with a glow but others try to figure out what is happening to them. I was the latter! and the former age group used to bully us. Making fun of us and looking down at us was the natural trait of these girls( also boys).

Photo by Elijah Hiett on Unsplash

trigger warning: I might use offence and unfiltered words and if you aren’t ready or really sensitive then I hope you should discontinue reading my thoughts.

You feel disgusted. About your existence. True story! when you see people getting proposals and having crushes you are just there like a cat and nobody notices you making you one of the most boring creatures and leaving you no option but to cry.

It is the most hurtful process making you hate yourself so much that you are in a bubble and left alone for people to just see. For instance, the time when you are having your sports period and they choose their friends making you the last pick. That actually sucks. Now I know, that it's not their fault, any child would have done the same. I guess, yes! there is no right or the wrong thing. it is just these little things that make us hate ourselves and kids don't realise that. Simple!

So, it was in 2017 that I was in my sophomore year where I started hating myself. Initially, I thought it was no big deal as I felt the same every year cause I was the kid who’d not have friends or “cool friends” typecasting us to “boring kids”. these kids find it difficult to understand the concept of “self-love” and they often do stuff just to “fit in”.

In order to “fit in” with the bunch of teenagers who acted “cool”, your mate, started changing herself. yep! laughing at their jokes. wearing clothes that were uncomfortable and still being able to listen to those indistinct chatters that made her hate self. I know it's going to be a little long but this is the place where I vent out everything that is in me.

I was suicidal. as bizarre as it might sound I just didn't feel right. Every day was a play and I was lead who had to pretend that everything was normal despite the fact that it wasn't. Ask your child or friend or sibling if they are fine and you will know that they are under pressure to score well, be an all-rounder and manage everything keeping their mental health at a stake.

Maybe I wasn't in love with myself that I found no crush.

The concept of self-love begins at home, sure and also continues in school. regardless of what privileges you have, whether or not you like that person just make sure that the other person is not wounded by the actions that you take up. So the next time you are with someone who you are not likely to vibe with making sure that the other person deserves humility from your side.

Now that you have read this I thank you to read my story and I would also want you to ponder over this for a while. you might have seen your friend who was so charming all of a sudden goes in a shell. Just talk to them. Make them aware that you are around them and that they don't need any reassurance no matter what.