Noah
By: Mikaela Arehart
Tags: Death, Short Story, Fiction Writing, Sexual Assault, Romance

I remember seeing a light, it felt like summer when I looked at it. Its glow was warm like the sun on my skin, but its warmth stretched and engulfed my heart in light. Am I dying? The last thing I remembered was seeing Noah’s face.

Growing up, I always felt like there was something missing in my life. When I was a child I had an imaginary friend I played with, his name was Noah. He would chase me around the backyard, my mother would read us to sleep, even though she didn’t realize he was with me. We did everything together. As I got older, I realized I wasn’t the only one who had imaginary friends. My best friend Eliza told me she used to have an imaginary friend too, it was a giant duck that she would ride around her backyard. She told me that once we got into middle school he just faded away, Noah never did.

In high school I began to think something was off. Why was I still seeing this boy? Is something wrong with me? Am I crazy? He aged with me. He studied with me for my classes. He seemed real.

I graduated from high school with Noah by my side, unknowingly to the world, and we went on to college together. I never had a boyfriend through high school because I didn’t think anyone would understand why Noah was still with me. Honestly, I didn’t really want one because as the years had gone on with Noah, I had begun to fall in love with him. He was my perfect man. He was tall with olive skin and dark brown eyes, his shaggy brown hair never grew past his jawline. When he smiled his eyes would crinkle around the edges and his grin seemed to reach from ear to ear. He knew everything about me. He was there when I broke my leg falling out of a tree we were climbing. He was there when Eliza left to go to college on the East Coast and left me broken hearted. He was there when my mother passed away and I couldn’t leave my bed for weeks. Why did I need a boyfriend when I had him?

When we got to college, things got a little harder. I made friends easily in all my classes, and I met Walker.. I met Walker in my calculus class. He sat in the back of class with his two best friends and would always look at me. At first I was intimidated by him. I had seen him around the dorms, as the building we lived in was co-ed and we lived on the same floor. Occasionally I would see girls leaving his dorm, heels in hand and last nights make up smudged around their eyes. It would always end the same, he would kiss them and assure them, “I will call you later.”. I wonder if he ever did call them..

One night, Noah and I were reading in bed when I heard a knock on the door. “Walker? What are you doing, it’s nearly midnight. You shouldn’t be here.” I glanced back at Noah who seemed concerned and upset that our time had been disrupted.

“I know you have been watching me, Amelia. I have seen you looking at me from down the hall.” Walker slurred. The smell of cheap beer exuding from his pores and seeping from his mouth with every word spoken.

“Walker, you need some sleep-”

“How about I stay with you tonight?” He interrupted.

“No, Walker. You need to go to bed-”

Just as I began to kick him out he started weeping. “You don’t know what it’s like, I have been alone my whole life. I sleep with all these women who just think I am hot and they don’t know me. If they knew me they wouldn’t be coming home with me. I have seen you look at me, you really see me.”

He began to stumble towards me. I tried to hold him to comfort him but his energy shifted quickly from drunk and sad to drunk and ravenous for my touch. He grabbed my hand and put it onto his crotch. I felt him grow in my hands and immediately pulled away.

“Walker, stop. I don’t-”

“I know you want me, Amelia. I’ve seen you looking at me in class. I have seen you watch as I say bye to my one night stands.”

I continued to beg him to stop. His hands were all over me, before I knew it I was on my back and his hand was over my mouth. I had almost forgotten that Noah was in my bed. I searched for his face but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I grasped the bed trying to find him only to remember, he isn’t real. I closed my eyes and tried to blackout what was happening to me. I felt alone, all I could feel was Walker’s body on top of me ripping my clothes off, and his beer riddled sweat dripping onto my face. I opened my eyes for a brief moment and looked over Walker’s shoulder and saw Noah’s face. I had never seen his face like that, twisted from his radiant grin into some sort of rage. Noah grabbed Walker’s shoulder and Walker turned around with utter terror. Noah grabbed Walker and threw him off of me. Walker was so terrified of the person who had just appeared out of thin air he forgot to button his pants before sprinting out of my dorm.

I looked at Noah in utter shock. This is the man I had grown up with, someone who I had never actually even touched or hugged. My eyes began to water. He was standing in front of me, in corporeal form, in the flesh. I took a step and reached my hand out to touch his face. He stood stoic, I think from being in shock from what he had just witnessed.

“Noah..? Are-are you really here?” I breathed.

“I-I don’t know.” He stuttered. I took another step out and caressed his cheek. Our eyes met as my hand slipped from his cheek to the nape of his neck.

“Oh my god.” I muttered before wrapping my arms around him. I could smell him, I could hear his heart beating in his chest, I could feel his chest swell and retreat with every breath. He is real! His arms wrapped around me and we began to laugh in each other’s arms. We cried and laughed and held each other through the night.

The next morning I woke up with Noah by my side. My heart skipped a beat when his eyes opened sleepily and I realized I was watching him sleep. I couldn’t believe he was actually with me. I went to put my arm around him and when my arm didn’t go through his body, I knew. He was finally here.

Noah had never felt human touch or eaten or drank or used the bathroom. All these things needed to be taught to him. He picked up using the restroom on his own very fast, thank goodness. I brought him around town to a couple of my favorite restaurants. I decided to bring him to the burger joint down the road from the college for his first meal. The look on his face when he took a bite of his first burger ever was pure satisfaction. He licked up every bit of grease that dripped out of the burger and down his arm. He slurped up the large Coke in what seemed like a split second. He was in heaven, and so was I.

That night, we took the long way home. It was a warm night and the stars seemed to shine brighter than usual. As we strolled down the street he put his arm around me. I felt secure and safe in his arms, I began to forget that he was originally just an imaginary friend. How had this happened? How did I get so lucky?

We walked back to my dorm and got into bed. I rested my head on his body and felt his chest rise and fall with each breath. I looked up at him, utterly enamored. He looked back at me and I could feel the love radiate from his eyes.

“Noah, I can’t believe-”

“I love you, Amelia” He interrupted.

I paused and smiled. We had said this to each other before, hundreds of times. We had been in love since high school, but I had never felt his warm breath on my face as he spoke those words. I had never felt his arms around me while he professed his love. I had never felt his heart skip a beat like it did when he uttered those three words to me.

“I love you too!” I exclaimed. I grabbed his head and kissed him. He smelled like cedar and musk, and I breathed in every bit of him. He pulled my body in closer as our lips locked. His body felt hard against mine, but I sunk into him so effortlessly. His hands began to wander up and down my body and it made me feel things I had never felt in places I had never felt them. We made love for the first time that night.

I woke up to the sun shining through my window, but I didn’t see Noah. My heart dropped as I began to wonder if everything I had felt in the past two days was real or if it was all a hallucination. Just as I began to panic, Noah walked out of the bathroom. My heart skipped a beat.

I heard a knock on the door. Noah answered it only to find Walker standing at the doorway. Walker seemed noticeably shocked to see Noah again, he almost seemed scared. Walker pushed his way past Noah and approached me.

“What the fuck happened the other night?! Who is this guy? What is he? I know he wasn’t in the room when I got here, what is he?” Walker exclaimed in a confused fit. He was panicking. He seemed unstable.

“Answer me!” He yelled as he raised a hand to hit me.

Noah grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away from me, but Walker shoved him out the door and locked it.

I was alone, with Walker. He walked towards me slowly, “I don’t know who you are or what your friend is but no one can find out about what happened the other night.” He slowly raised a gun to my head. “Im sorry, Amelia. I have too much to lose.”

“Walker, please. I-I won’t say anything! Please don’t do this!” His hands began to tremble and lower.

He shook his head and said, “I don’t have a choice.” and he pulled the trigger.

All I could hear was a loud ringing sound. I could feel a sharp pain in the side of my torso. I could feel blood seeping out of my stomach. I looked down and saw blood falling from my stomach, I put my hands over it to try to stop the bleeding but it was too much.

Walker backed away as I fell to the floor. I watched him as he ran out of the room and Noah entered. He ran towards me and scooped my body up in his hands. His eyes watering.

“No-no no no, Amelia. No. What do I do?” Noah stuttered.

“I love you, Noah.” I exhaled.

“No, Amelia please! I love you, I can’t do this without you please. Just tell me what to do, how do I fix this?” He cried.

“You can’t. But I need you to live. I want you to see the world and fall in love again. I will always be with you-”

It has been two years since Amelia died. I feel her with me still. I can still smell her honey scented shampoo. When I close my eyes I see her looking back at me, smiling. I see her cinnamon colored hair being tossed around in the wind. I see her green eyes watching me. I have made friends since her death, I even found a girl who makes me feel some semblance of what Amelia made me feel. But sometimes I wonder if Amelia is watching me, the way I watched her.