Are You Beautiful According to Society?
By: Meghan Gause
Tags: Society, Beauty, Self, Personal Development, Mental Health

Are You Beautiful According to Society?

The struggle to be attractive has demolished my psyche

Photo made by the author in PicsArt

Everlasting beauty is, and always will be, the eternal objective of our existence. But why have we gone to insane lengths since the dawning of time to try and thwart old age?

Ever since I was a child, everything I saw was correlated to beauty. Cartoons portrayed princesses as porcelain angels. Meanwhile, the elderly were perceived as evil witches, ugly hags — the villain.

Aside from television propelling the meaning of beauty, so does the rest of our environment. Popularity in school is based on looks; every store is advertising anti-aging serum; beauty isn’t just a trend; it’s a lifestyle.

I wanted to be popular and beautiful so bad that I hated myself for not being “adequate.” I’m 32 years old with a child and still look in the mirror in a judgmental manner because I don’t feel confident in my exterior.

What is beauty according to society?

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what if society’s rendition of beauty manipulates the beholder?

Ancient Egyptians were the first to coin makeup, skincare, and the idea of altering features to look their “best.” They took it upon themselves to define what beauty was, for them. So what happened since then?

The entire globe has followed in their footsteps when it comes to skincare and makeup. Yet, we have taken it a step further than face painting — we now have 1000s of apps that apply face altering techniques that make you unrecognizable, most photos are so altered that you’d swear it isn’t the same woman without the filter on.

Not only are these filters a new staple of being your best self, but they are highly addicting. I have avoided posting photos of myself because my face shape was unappealing without a Snapchat jaw liner.

When I scroll through social media and see these gorgeous women with flawless skin and hair, I know deep down a lot of it is photoshop. However, It drives me nuts that I cant achieve even that level of added beauty.

Posting raw (natural) images of yourself has no become a, “look, I can be normal too” trend. Natural beauty has gone out of the window. There are always added features. Being natural is a way to show the world that you are normal. But who wants only to be just normal? No one.

What about when it comes to body types? Judging by the modeling agencies, social media, and television, skinny girls are the definition of beauty. Being slender means you are fit and healthy. Because of this, women struggle with weight issues since the internet is plagued with skinny propaganda. Most women and men who are slightly overweight, or overly thin, feel inadequate, ugly, and that they aren't beautiful.

What does it mean to not be beautiful according to society?

Being beautiful is everything in today’s society, but what does it mean to be “unpleasant looking” according to society?

More times than not, I am constantly comparing myself to the Instagram beauties. I am a super skinny girl, almost too thin. I have no lips, no hips, and I’m covered in freckles. You can pretty much call me a new Age Wendy’s logo.

According to society, even though #WeAreAllBeautiful, is meant to make us all feel special, let’s not pretend that’s actually true. It is seen as a way to include everyone.

Nobody ever says it, but super skinny girls or guys, or super overweight girls or guys, struggle with trying to find that perfect medium. Society deems you less appealing if you have small lips, curly hair, no butt or boobs, no muscles, or virtually any other characteristic that doesn’t resemble a brat doll or GI joe.

Women like myself, yearn for that artificial beauty, while I know it’s unnatural; I also know it’s what gets the attention. I have spent my whole life watching gorgeous women get handed gifts, unlimited opportunities, unlimited care, and realistically, a headstart in life. We can call it, #BeautyIsAPrivilege.

Why do we want to change who we are?

It’s not just the women and men who feel unattractive that want to change who they are. It’s women and men, who are already beautiful.

There seems to be a new standard for beauty every year, the muscles get bigger, the lips get bigger, and if you don’t fit the agenda, you got some work to do.

I believe we change or strive to improve because we want to feel as important as the “elite” beauties.

For some reason, in today’s society, being drop-dead gorgeous, or a chiseled God makes you untouchable. It’s like, you get virtual awards every time you level up your outer appearance.

I have spent a good deal of my life depressed, burning my face trying to use lip plumping products, deleting thousands of pictures because they showed my gap tooth, and virtually only posting photos that were highly edited. However, when I looked in the mirror, I was not the photos that I posted. I knew, according to society, that I was an “ugly” girl.

I wanted to change because beauty means status. I wanted to post a photo of myself and have thousands of people like it and compliment me. It’s funny because I know that looks aren’t everything. I understand that the structure of who you are at the core is what should matter, yet, I feel such an urge to be society's rendition of beautiful.

Why are we scared of aging?

Why are we afraid to age? Because with age comes the loss of physical attraction.

Billions of dollars are spent a year on beauty products, and anti-aging products. Being old is the new unattractive. Instead of being excited to turn 33 this year, I look at it as the hands of time cursing me one year further into unattractiveness.

As far back as history can travel, the search for eternal youth has been prominent. From Cleopatra bathing in milk and honey to keep her skin supple, to rituals of bathing in blood to induce youthfulness, women and men alike, strive to obtain everlasting beauty.

It’s as if once you become old, and your supple skin sags with experience and life, you don’t matter anymore to society when it comes to the meaning of beauty.

Becoming old, is slowly becoming a fear worse than death itself. I often think of what I look like aging versus me dying. We have become so addicted to preserving our outer appearance, that we don’t judge the character of a person anymore unless they fit the physical requirements of society’s rendition of beauty.

What to think about

I believe that it all starts at home, how we teach our children that the meaning of beauty shouldn’t be defined by society as a whole. You should define it.

We should be mindful of the message we post to young girls and boys who struggle with their appearance.

I am in my 30s and still struggle with my appearance. I can’t help feeling like I got the shallow end of the gene pool, and that makes me less than. I think this way because of how society portrays beauty. And it’s not OK.

The wanting to be beautiful or handsome has become the center of attention in our lives. It has become essential to be a prominent piece of society. Without beauty, what are you? Are you just an awesome person? We shouldn’t even be thinking in that manner. Our outer appearance shouldn’t be the sole reason for judgment.

There’s nothing wrong with being physically attractive, but then again, who can really define what attractiveness is?

Letting society dictate how important you are based on looks not only deteriorates your psyche, it also reflects on your ability to love yourself. It’s a constant struggle to eliminate the impressions leftover from society, yet, to be the best we can be, we have to grow past the normalcy that is our “defined” beauty.

Every day, I learn to love who I am, by learning to love who I am not. I am not a product; I am not a model; I am not a staple of society. I am me, and that is beautiful.