Can’t Decide What to Do With Your Life?
By: John Reel
Tags: Personal Development, Life Hacking, Career Advice, Career Planning, Purpose

Can’t Decide What to Do With Your Life?

No one else can figure out what you’re supposed to do with your time here on earth, but there are ways to make it easier. Tip number one is to stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself. For some people, it’s easy to find a ‘calling’. For others, finding it is an extremely difficult journey. I am part of the group that struggled for years to figure out my purpose. The journey doesn’t have to be as hard as it's made out to be.

As long as you are out there putting one foot in front of the other, getting up after you get knocked down, and reflecting, then the pressure you’re putting on yourself to find your life's work is unnecessary. You’re already doing the work. It may take years and several careers to find ‘it’, but the journey is as important as the destination.

I’ll get to tip number two shortly but let that sink it, and while you’re doing that, I’ll tell you how I got here.

I’ve done time advising people on their finances, giving talks at schools for a charity, helping small businesses crowdfund loans, and most recently I worked with 3 different environmental consulting firms advising multi-national businesses and the government. Going into each new job, I thought I was starting my life’s work. In each new position, I thought I had found my calling.

Money + Purpose

We can’t escape or disconnect from the fact that our purpose is also what makes us money. Not for everyone, but for most. Some people find their purpose outside of work, but with work being an all-consuming force for most people, finding purpose at work can help us all live more fulfilling happier lives.

The money demon rears its ugly head when we’re deciding what to do with our lives. We might as well acknowledge its presence and the impact it can have on our life’s work. It’s shown up to discombobulated my compass a few times.

Becoming a financial advisor was a wealth play. Working for a charity in one of the most expensive cities in North American was a financial grind, so of course, I wasn’t doing that for the money. Joining a crowdfunding platform in the early stages was partially influenced by the employee stock option plan. Attempting to move mountains in the environmental consulting space wasn’t about money but happened to be where I’ve earned the most in my young career 6 years out of university.

Going after money is definitely not the answer when trying to find your purpose. It’s cliched for a reason, but I’ll say it again in case you need to hear it. You will get paid the most doing what you're interested in and be happier doing it.

Even when making decisions that are influenced by monetary gain, I tried to wrangle in my purpose at the same time. My pursuit as a financial advisor was partially rooted in an interest in personal finances and helping others. Helping communities break the cycle of poverty, which was the mission of the charity I worked for, was an altruistic move. You can’t beat leaving work feeling like you made the world better, but I was eventually convinced that doing good wasn’t a career. I was reminded time and again that I couldn’t make a living while working at the charity, both from clients I worked with, and an even stronger driving force, my spouse.

Though I wasn’t paid a tremendous amount at the newfound crowdfunding start-up, the potential for earning was far greater. I was also drawn to help small businesses raise capital because I thought supporting small businesses would be rewarding. Working at a startup was exciting. Being a part of a team working towards steep targets keeps you motivated until you’ve burned out. I would eventually come to hate working at the startup and found myself complaining to any friend that would listen. I ditched the stressful startup life and took some time to figure out what I was supposed to do with my life.

When deciding what to do in life, money should never be the number one factor. It should be a minor factor in deciding what to do in life. Maybe it ranks higher in places where people are only earning $2 per day. But for most people in developed countries where most professional jobs pay enough to live at worst a middle-class life, it really shouldn’t be a big factor in decision making. Who cares if you make 70k or 90k. I get that money can have a big impact, but I would argue that you can have a bigger impact when you’re following what you’re most interested in.

Struggling To Find Passion

During my month's hiatus from work, I took online courses, studied my personality type, talked to strangers about their jobs, and went deep down the rabbit hole of Dharma. Dharma is a Buddhist term for one’s true purpose in life. This was both helpful and a hindrance. It hindered me as it led me to have negative thoughts because I hadn’t found my true calling after trying for what felt like so long. It was helpful because it kept me searching.

After introspection and a lot of research, I came to the conclusion that I was placed on earth to make the world a better place and needed to tackle a big challenge. With climate change as the greatest challenge of our time, I thought I had found my calling. I needed to help convince the human race to ditch our fossil burning ways.

I thought fighting climate change was going to be my purpose. My Dharma. After a year of working with 3 environmental firms all tackling climate change in unique ways, I wasn’t feeling any more motivated or excited about my work than I was as a financial advisor. Back to the drawing board.

Lucky for me I was moving to Munich, so I had an excuse for leaving yet another good job. No one else could see that I was lost, but internally I had to admit to myself that I was still struggling.

What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stay committed to one thing like so many people around me? Am I ever going to figure life out?

Figuring It Out

I’ve beat myself up a lot when changing jobs because I was mad at myself for not sticking with anything. I put immense pressure on myself to be highly self-aware and spent countless hours thinking about what excites me about work and what leaves me drained. I’ve read dozens of books on life design, success, and finding your purpose. I’ve enjoyed doing something and felt purpose one day, and disliked what I was doing the next. What I came to realize and what I had wrong this whole time was thinking that I would only have one purpose in life.

No one told me that I can have multiple purposes throughout life. We’re always told that we need to find our passion. Finding our passion or picking a career to stick to for the rest of your life leads us into believing we can only pick one thing. We need to become a teacher or doctor. I listened to what I was told and have been trying to find my one thing.

Fortunately, some things have started to click for me and I’ve realized that there’s not just one thing for me. My purpose is to work on things I find interesting for however long that thing has my full attention. Once I’ve lost interest, I look for something new. Maybe one day I’ll find an interest that keeps me preoccupied until I reach old age, and then again, maybe not.

For anyone saying that’s a terrible career decision, thanks for caring. But I would argue that my varied experience has a lot of value. I would also say back to you, happiness and fulfillment are more important than having a resume that reads well.

I know that I no longer need to get upset because I don’t have a clear path. What I’m doing at the moment is my purpose. If I don’t like it, I can change at any point. Some of us have a clear purpose in life. Others will take many paths. Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to find the perfect career is silly.

I am going to try many different careers in life and I’ll be better for it. I’ve realized that my life is meant to be varied and spontaneous. That’s what drives me, excites me, and energizes me. It may mean changing careers 5 more times because for now, how I decide what to do in life is by asking myself “is it interesting?”. If it is not interesting, I do not do that thing.

It's important for me to live an interesting life, and with that question leading my path, I have the flexibility to explore things I may never have explored. I definitely wouldn't be living in Munich about to help launch a tech startup. Will it be the last company I work for, or just another opportunity to continue growing on this journey we call life? Who knows, but I know leaving my job as a financial planner was only one step in this long journey we call life.

The second tip is to write your governing question. Your question should be based on the one thing you need out of your career to feel like you’re living a good life. Following my life’s purpose is synonymous with following my interests. It’s simplistic, but when trying to figure out what to do with our lives, we need to simplify things.