Healing Your Daddy Issues 101
By: Jordin James
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Family, Life, Advice

Photo by Derek Thomson

I’m sorry your dad was a piece of shit but now it’s time to become your own damn daddy.

I can be this blunt because this is my journey, too. Like you, I’ve got daddy issues out the wazzu, and I’ve made some poor relationship choices because of it.

It doesn’t have to stay this way, though. It’s possible to fill your daddy deficit with healthier things than the emotionally unavailable narcissists you’re used to stuffing in there.

It’s possible, dear reader, to permanently heal your daddy issues in a way that makes you stronger than you ever would have been without them.

Welcome to Healing Your Daddy Issues 101.

The role your dad was supposed to play.

When you were a kid, your little child heart was only ever asking one thing:

“Am I okay? Is it okay to feel the way I feel? Is it okay to be me right now?”

Unfortunately, for those of us with daddy issues, the answer was, “No. You’re not okay the way you are. And actually, now that I think about it, you’re pretty fucking annoying.”

Bummer.

Your dad was supposed to affirm your okay-ness and show you how to walk confidently in this world. He was supposed to show you that yes, sweet pea, you’re okay just as you are, in fact, you’re more than okay, you are brilliant and beautiful and strong and smart and it’s good to be you.

This is the role your dad was supposed to play for you, sweetie, and he totally bombed it, didn’t he?

I’m sorry, love. It should have been different.

But it’s not different.

So what do you do with that?

Rise up on your own.

Even though your daddy issues aren’t your fault, they are your responsibility.

Even though you’ve been beaten down, taken for granted, and treated like shit, you must find it within yourself to rise up on your own and learn how to become your own damn daddy.

It’s not fair, I know. But it will make you stronger if you let it.

Besides, at this point in your life, deary, there’s only one person that has the power to heal your daddy issues: you.

Not a lover. Not a spouse. Not a friend. Not a stranger with an adorable smile and rockin’ bod. Not even your father because the damage is already done, sweetie.

Sure, these people can help you along your journey of healing your daddy issues, but it is still your journey.

They’re your daddy issues. It’s your job to heal them.

So quit looking around the room for somebody to save you, love. It’s time for you to learn how to save yourself.

It’s time for you to learn how to be your own damn daddy.

The secret to becoming your own damn daddy.

Okay, darling, here’s the thing:

Your deadbeat dad wasn’t meant to give you something you don’t already have. Your dad was merely supposed to point you to the daddy already inside of you.

That’s right, you’ve had everything you need inside of you all along.

You have the power to affirm your own okay-ness.

You have the power to teach yourself how to walk confidently in this world.

You have the power to tell yourself yes, sweet pea, you’re okay just as you are, in fact, you’re more than okay, you are brilliant and beautiful and strong and smart and it’s good to be you.

The secret to becoming your own damn daddy is to realize you are already your own damn daddy. You just need to start acting like it.