Last Christmas, I Gave You My Heart……
Tags: Sweater, Heart, Gift, Christmas, Present

One chilly morning, the day before Christmas, Vienna awoke. With a weariness in her bones because of the cold, she pulled on a jumper and socks, and headed downstairs to meet the rest of the brood, as her mother called their family. With seven people in a family,Vienna included, the Clark family home was a constant source of chaos and commotion, and while the resulting din could be maddening, she found that she didn’t quite mind it, especially since she was home after a long while. However, as she reached the living room, she snapped out of her reverie enough to notice that something was amiss.

The house was dead silent.

One glance at the room told her that the house seemed empty. In fact, as she wandered from room to room, hoping to find one of her siblings or either of her parents, their lack of presence was beginning to induce a mild panic. As she found each deserted room, that panic built to form full-on anxiety, and Vienna was beginning to wonder if something had gone terribly wrong.

However, after she settled on a sofa to comfort herself, as she reminded herself, it was Christmas Eve! Knowing her family, they had possibly forgotten to buy her a present and had headed out to the mall for a quick shopping trip. In fact, she was willing to bet that they had intentionally left without informing her, in a bid to keep her edge. Her elder brother was a trickster of sorts. This particular revelation helped soothe her, and Vienna returned to her usual, cheery self. She was sure that her family had just gone out on errands, and that nothing was wrong.

All in all, it seemed like a waste to keep worrying, so Vienna went about her usual day. She took a bath, and spent more time than necessary in choosing an outfit. A boy that she had been seeing in college was coming to meet her family, and she wished to wear something as cheery as possible to reassure her parents that bringing a boy over for Christmas wouldn’t be as bad, especially once one considered the events of the previous year’s Christmas….but enough of that, Vienna told herself firmly. What had happened had happened, and it was time to move on.

With a slightly dampened mood, she headed down to the kitchen where her spirits immediately lifted once she found the post-it note on the fridge door.

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

But the very next day, you gave it away…”

With a giggle, Vienna quickly fixed herself breakfast. It seemed that close to twenty years of marriage had done little to dampen her father’s flair for the dramatics, seeing that he had posted Wham!’s very famous song on their fridge door. Vienna wondered whether her younger siblings had gagged at that very cheesy display of lover’s spat, and made a mental note to ask them once they returned.

Seeing that it had snowed the previous night, the prospect of sitting on the patio and watching snowmen in everyone’s driveways seemed too enticing for Vienna to ignore. Oh, how she loved Christmas! That jarring contrast of green and red against a snowy white background- that overwhelming sense of home that the Christmas tree presented her with! She had missed all that scenic beauty as she sped home from college the previous night- as was expected from classes, they had tired her and as she took a nap in the cab, she had unfortunately missed a very spectacular display of Christmas in everyone’s homes. All in all, sitting outside and watching the snow seemed like a perfect way to pass the time, as she waited for her family to get home.

Except, once she stepped out on the patio, she found a ribbon tied to the fence with a card stuck to it.

“ ‘Merry Christmas’, I wrapped it up and sent it..

With a note saying ‘ I love you’, I meant it….”

Vienna laughed out loud. Her parents had the truest love she’d ever seen, and their love had resulted in five children. She hoped fervently that her parents would see she had the same love with Ethan. She had looked at him in the hallway outside English, and had fallen head over heels in love. He was sweet, kind, supportive and loving, but was considerate enough to not smother her. But best of all? He understood and respected her boundaries, unlike James….

It seemed that all roads led to James, just as he had intended them for.

Vienna was 16 when she told herself she had fallen in love with James. He was nearly two years older, and seemed passionate about her, even going as far as to ink her name on every spare inch of his torso. It was only later that she realised James’ passion hid darkness. After the thousandth bruising and beating, with the help of her parents and the police, she had gotten out.

But it seemed that James had no intention of letting her go.

She remembered Bruno, James’ dog. She had often thought that he seemed human only when he was with that sweet, gentle dog. He would jokingly call her ‘My Heart’, as was inscribed on her collar. Bruno seemed the only living creature alive to be capable of loving her master, seeing that his abuse wasn’t limited to anything, including her. Yet, the master and pet shared a warm relationship.

Until James mailed Vienna Bruno’s heart on Christmas.

She could still remember the horror of it all. How she had come down for breakfast, determined to have a good day with her family, only to find a gift under the Christmas Tree with her name on it. She could still feel the dread washing over her as her family gave it the once-over and told her that the gift wasn’t from them. And then the shock of it all- how she had opened the box only to find a heart in it, a letter with the words ‘I Love You’, and to her sinking spirits, a dog collar with ‘My Heart’ on it….

Vienna hadn’t been sure for a very long while if she would ever be okay again. How could one heal when one is given a dog’s heart for Christmas? How could one heal when one endures as much pain as she had? Life had seemed bleak until she met Ethan. And yet, the note on the fridge, ‘Last Christmas, I gave you my heart….’, now that that particular dam had been breached, Vienna couldn’t help but think that it was cruel of her father to have chosen that particular song, especially once the events of last Christmas were considered.

With a little melancholy, and an irritation with her family, for it was nearly noon and they still hadn’t arrived, Vienna returned to the living room, and took in a proper look at the Christmas decorations. And, oh! there was another note stuck to the mantle above the fireplace, right next to the stockings.

‘Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

But the very next day, you gave it away..

This year to save me from tears,

Seven, I’ll give you to make it extra special…’

Vienna didn’t laugh. It wasn’t like her father to mess song lyrics up. And she didn’t like how the note said ‘…Seven, I’ll give you to make it extra special…’.She looked at the presents under the Christmas tree, and found one with her name on it, and with a sickening lurch in her stomach, opened the lid of the box…

She found seven human hearts.

In a surprising calm, Vienna thought she could tell who each heart belonged to, based on her family’s size. The three little ones were her younger siblings’, now robbed of a life. The three bigger ones were clearly those of her brother’s and parents’. She had done this to them; she had pursued a relationship with that boy even as they had warned her.

But the seventh one?

Her family had only seven members, so whose heart was she looking at? Was it James’? Had he killed himself after he disposed of her family? Vienna was now alone, and felt nothing. In fact, she was certain that no other pain would cut her as deep as this particular one did.

Until she found, hidden under the pile of presents, a royal blue sweater.

Ethan’s sweater.

.

.

.

Vienna didn’t stop screaming.

~ Ananya Yayavaram (19BEC1275)