There’s No True Success Without A Good Mentor
By: Nicole Bryan
Tags: Personal Development, Mentorship, Life, Relationships, Education

LIFE | RELATIONSHIPS

There’s No True Success Without A Good Mentor

Photo by Olena Sergienko on Unsplash

Sign Me Up

Wait, what does that flyer say?

Free Master’s Program in Bilingual Special Education?

Oh please. There must be a catch. Because if not. Sign me up!

I signed up. I did everything that I needed to do. And congratulations! I got accepted into the program.

And then I met her. Wonder woman.

The woman behind the grant. The woman responsible for building the program. For selecting the students. For deciding our ultimate fate.

She seemed invincible. All-powerful. All-knowing. She had me running to the dictionary with every other word that she uttered. Vocabulary — on point.

But once I started to listen, to really pay attention. I couldn’t help but notice her passion. Catch on to her enthusiasm.

Her expectations were clear. And the look on her face said, “I mean every word.”

We were expected to give this our all. We were expected to put our learning to good use. We were expected to use our knowledge to provide the very best education possible to the population that we served. No matter what.

The Best Mentors Are Enthusiastic About Their Field

She was excited, optimistic, and driven. And pretty soon, we were too.

The best mentors are optimistic. The best mentors are enthusiastic. The best mentors do the work of a mentor before they ever get the title.

They are magnetic. They are passionate. And their passion is contagious. There’s something about them that says, “Come with me. I’ll take you there. And your life will never be the same.” And mesmerized, we follow.

That’s what I did. I followed.

The Book Deal

Wait what? She’s writing a book? How can she do that when she’s teaching two of our classes this semester? And she still has time to write comments ALL over my papers?

That’s nuts! You can fill 100 buckets with all that knowledge. I have no idea how she does it.

I guess wonder woman strikes again.

The Best Mentors Are Experts In Their Field

She wasn’t just enthusiastic. She wasn’t just passionate. She was also good! I mean damn good.

I’m sitting in the “Immigrant Experience” class and I’m just blown away.

How does one person remember and quote the work of so many authors?

How does one person have so many personal connections and experiences to substantiate all of this theory?

Oh wow. So much of this is also about her lived experience. Her story.

That’s when I realized her purpose. This wasn’t just about a passion. It was about much more.

The best mentors are experts. If they show up because of passion — they stay because of purpose.

Expertise is the byproduct of a deep purpose. Expertise shows up when your purpose demands that it show up. Begrudgingly. Overtime.

Choose a mentor who cares enough to become an expert.

It’s one of the best decisions that I ever made.

Did I Make the Cut?

Take nothing for granted. Sleep with both eyes open. You may be in this Master’s program today but that doesn’t mean that you will be in it tomorrow.

You wanna stay here? You better give it 100%. The message was loud and clear — though it was never said out loud. At least not to me.

Empty chairs speak louder than words.

The Best Mentors Hold People Accountable

She was not going to put on her high heels every day (and I mean every day) and walk into that classroom for you to half-ass it.

I could wing it with a lot of people. But I couldn’t wing it with her!

On my least planned days, I prepared myself for what was sure to come.

The follow-up questions. The request for sources. The justification for arguments. Oh — and all done publicly. She never promised that accountability would be private.

The best mentors have a high bar. When they choose to dedicate their time to you, they take it seriously. You either make the cut, or you don’t. You either appreciate the time. Or you don’t. You either bring your A-game or C- yah!

I complained about it back then. But today, I could kiss her feet. Heels and all!

Can I Meet With The Good Cop Today?

But she knew how to play good cop too. When I was really putting in the effort and just couldn't figure things out, she would take the time to talk things through with me. She would tell me which of my colleagues to talk to. She would help me access resources.

Sometimes she would tell me to go and re-read her feedback one more time. And then I would process it. And talk to her some more. And it would finally make sense.

The Best Mentors Provide Feedback

That feedback lifts you up. Sometimes it sits you down. Either way, it teaches something; something that makes you better than you were the day before. Should you wish to receive it.

I remember a lot of her feedback.

“Good teaching is good teaching.”

That’s her most famous feedback. I have used it to bless so many more.

But I Hate Public Speaking

I was terrified to become a Principal. Too public. Too many people. Too many presentations. I am an introvert. I can’t do it. I just can’t.

Until she reminded me that I could.

She pushed. I accepted the position. It was hard. And so I complained.

When I complained, she supported. She reminded me that the community was lucky to have me. Her words gave me strength.

The Best Mentors Push You Out Of Your Comfort Zone

The best mentors push you to do things. Things that you wouldn’t do on your own. They see things in you that you don’t yet see in yourself. And you know that.

So when they tell you to jump, you jump. When they tell you that you will fly, you believe them. And because you believe them — you fly.

She taught me how to fly.

I’m OK. I Promise

Yes. I delivered early.

He’s in the NICU ward, but he’s OK.

Yes, I’ll be in a wheelchair for a few months. Yes, it was awful. One of the worst experiences of my life.

She listened. I didn’t know that it was possible for anyone to be more devasted about the situation than my mom. She checked on me. She brought gifts. She brought that fighting spirit.

And yes — she was still wearing those heels!

The Best Mentors Build Lifelong Relationships

The mentorship relationship isn’t just about the work, it’s about a belief in you. It’s about a care for you. It’s about rooting for you inside and outside of the classroom. Whatever your “classroom” may be.

She showed up. When I went to birthday parties, she was there. When classmates had baby showers, she was there. Weddings — she was there.

She wasn’t just an expert in her field. She was an expert in relationships.

At least to me she was.

Is Thank You Even Enough?

To Dr. Mazur —

You have been an incredible mentor. You snatched me up when I thought I had no voice. You proved to me that I did.

I preferred to stay in the background. To work behind the scenes. You proved to me that I was needed to lead.

And when things got rocky and I started to falter. You proved to me that you would be there, to help pick me up.

You always said, “good teaching is good teaching.” And I’ve shared that with every leader that I’ve mentored.

And now to you, I say, “good teaching is good teaching.” But I don’t mean teaching kids. I mean the good teaching that you modeled for us, inside and outside of the classroom.

Be enthusiastic about your field

Become an expert in your field

Hold people accountable

Provide feedback

Push mentees out of their comfort zone

Build lifelong relationships

You’ve taught me that, and so much more. Is “thank you” even enough?