Stay Human. With everything that’s going on right…
By: Clay Rivers
Tags: Gratitude, Humanity, Equality, Allyship, Covid 19

With everything that’s going on right now, it’s so easy to lose sight of the irrefutable fact that you are blessed and will get through this . . . as long as you live responsibly. Let’s table the debate about whether or not the Divine is involved in your life for another day. Just roll with me on this.

Enter Covid-19

Few would disagree that humanity has been hemmed in on all sides, partially by Covid-19, if not more so by willful human stupidity. If the stakes weren’t already high before Covid arrived in the United States, since March, just about everyone on the planet has had elements of their lives unceremoniously stripped away.

In other parts of the world, change and upheaval are an expected part of life, if not the norm. But here in America, because of the material wealth we have amassed, the dominant culture has cultivated an expectation of a life overflowing with milk and honey, two cars in every garage, a chicken in every pot, and perpetual individual happiness. Amen. This presumption is so deep-seated that for many, the slightest interruption of their guaranteed joy may as well be a jail sentence.

Enter Covid-19 with its real-life quarantines and resultant losses.

Take, for instance, the comfort that comes from the regularity of routine. Order is what gives our lives structure. We’ve lost that. Bye-bye. The old order’s been swept away, and it is never coming back. What remains are varying degrees of uncertainty and a whole lot of chaos. Who knew we would be living with such a heightened level of uncertainty in our lives? Face it. We are riding a high-speed roller coaster without a safety restraint bar, a seatbelt, or a life insurance policy.

And the Hits Just Keep on Coming

Some of us have lost our mobility. We can no longer come and go as we please. Countless people are living in a Groundhog Day version of quarantine. America’s senior citizens, those who love and care for them, as well as people in high-risk categories for contracting Covid-19, are avoiding public places at all costs—so that it doesn’t cost them their lives.

Many of us have lost our sense of community. People are made to be together. We were made to be in the company of other people. We can all attest that too much of a good thing is a real thing. Yes, self-professed introverts like me long to indulge our inner extrovert every once in a while, but given the current Covid circumstances, a large number of us have opted to exercise our common sense and curtail our in-person gathering.

For some, that means no visits with the grandkids, fewer trips to a favorite restaurant; and what was formerly known as a mundane walk in the park or a quick visit to the grocery store is now a life-threatening proposition. And as for that birthday getaway to the Exumas . . . well, it might be a good idea to put that on hold. Indefinitely.

Connectedness is off the table now. The option to meet a friend for coffee or a drink must be carefully weighed against the possibility of contracting the virus. That means no church, no sporting events, no theatre—but WWE wrestling is still on. Go figure.

And Coming . . .

Humans, being the industrious creatures we are, co-opted apps and platforms in stopgap measures to remain connected. Thank you, Zoom, FaceTime, and our old standby: social media. Ultimately, nothing—no thing—nothing beats face-to-face interactions. There are simply some experiences that cannot be duplicated.

And who doesn’t know someone who hasn’t lost their job? It looks like many of those jobs aren’t coming back. And if they do, it won’t be in the foreseeable future.

Thousands of people have lost homes due to fires, floods, tornadoes, and more named hurricanes and tropical storms than ever before in recorded history.

I haven’t addressed homelessness, hunger, the onset of unexpected diseases (I know at least four people who are dealing with recent cancer diagnoses), mental and emotional health distress, frontline workers’ and first responders’ anxiety, medical field professionals stretched to the breaking point, not to mention those who support them. That’s its own Pandora’s box.

And the most tragic part in all this is the ongoing loss of life. Family members. Loved ones. Friends. Sorry folks, but in the United States about 250,000+ people have lost their lives to Covid-19, not to mention the more than 250,000 families and loved ones left to grieve and pick up the pieces.

Depends

To my white readers, the unbearable feeling of uncertainty, those waves of worry about to drag your under, the nagging anxiety your entire life has been launched into outer space while you’re trying to juggle flaming chainsaws—that’s what Black people experience every single day. Now, you believe us when we tell you that at any given moment, we could be killed because someone wants to flex their white supremacy muscle and call the police on us for doing mundane things, like living.

But tell me this: Why is it that Black folks get little to no support until the wolf is knocking on white folk’s doors? Welcome to the club. Your membership card is in the mail.

But I digress . . .

Folks, people are hurting in deeply profound ways. And the worst part is: it didn’t have to be this way.

What now?

It’s time for everyone to shut up, put on their big boy undies and big girl panties, and get to work. Together. Everything we’ve experienced so far has been a pre-show for what we’re about to go through in the upcoming months. But before we get to that—

Realize That You are Under Tremendous Stress

To suffer any one of the above losses under the best circumstances is traumatic at best. So imagine how much more overwrought you are if you’re living through more than one of these traumas.

Job loss, illness, and the death of a loved one are devastating in their own right. Sometimes the impact can be felt immediately. At other times the effects may not be felt until months later. If you’ve been coping since March, you do the math.

Now imagine living from trauma to trauma without time to process what you’ve lived through, with no time to recover. This is the world we live in. Realize that you’re under tremendous stress and will take just as long, if not longer to recover. And give yourself a little time to exhale.

Step Away from the Media

After distressing events, especially those that take on national significance, it’s easy to get caught up in the tidal wave of reports on television and social media. In this age of instant reporting by citizens and the news outlets, a constant stream of updates, graphic images, some misinformation, and memes can lead to sensory overload.

While it’s natural to have a thirst for updates on what‘s going on, media outlets have a tendency to spin news events into a heightened dichotomy of Us versus Them. Part of their goal is to garner viewers and what better way to retain viewers than with “breaking news” about everyone’s adversary— Them. Once you find out what it is or who they are, the goal for viewers then becomes protecting themselves with the latest updates. Next thing you know, you’re hooked.

Curbing your media intake to limited subjects for a predetermined amount of time or taking a brief social media detox for a few days can do a world of good.

Do What Rejuvenates sounds Your Soul

I’m a firm believer that once you step into adulthood, no one will look out for your well-being with the interest and fervor like you.

When your body is hungry, you feed it. When you’re tired, you sleep. So it stands to reason that when you are emotionally drained, you should dedicate some time to engage in activities that feed your soul, even if it’s only fifteen to thirty minutes of quiet time, meditation, or prayer. It’s hard to care for loved ones or yourself when you have nothing to give.

For some people, rejuvenation involves meditating, strategizing, or involvement in some sort of physical activity. Whatever you choose, find the time to refill your physical, emotional, and spiritual tanks. You and those closest to you are depending on you.

Stay Human

Anxiety, anger, and depression are emotional states that feed on themselves and you. The best way to turn off the repeating playlist in your head involves a two-step process.

Step 1. Talk it out. Speak openly and honestly with people who know you, understand your circumstances, and have a history of supporting you. Tell them what is going on, how you’re feeling, and the way it’s affecting you.

Talking to a friend one time isn’t going to fix things. This is not a drive-by, a one-off, or hit it and quit it deal. Think of it as sharing about having had a bad car accident. The first few times you recount what happened, it’s hard to look back at what you’ve lived through. But the more you examine and talk about it over time, the emotional severity of the impact lessens. So give yourself time to absorb and process what you’re experiencing. It’s heavy stuff.

Don’t Wait to Exhale

Stop for a moment. Breathe. Yes, things are bad. The specific things you’re going through might be the worst you’ve ever experienced. I’m not diminishing that in the least. But you’re still in the game. And accept the fact that some things are simply beyond your control.

Step 2. Change your outlook. Take stock of the things you do have, the things that are working in your life. Look for the good. Start changing the things you can by setting small goals for yourself.

Take the things you’ve learned over the past few months and put them to use. Everything you’ve experienced this year has been preparation for the next few months. I like to think the only wasted time is that in which we can’t say we learned something.

Step 3. The practice that will help you the most is to invest a little energy in helping others. You don’t have to raise a barn for your neighbor. It’s the little things that matter most as they lay the foundation for bigger things. Slide other people a little grace, a little wiggle room. We’re all going through tough times.

You never know what other people are going through. You can’t tell by looking at someone whether their health is compromised. Putting on a mask is a small thing that has a big impact.

That’s it

Learn from the lessons of 250,000+ Americans who are no longer with us. Some who may have learned too late that they could have avoided their fate had they or others around them only worn a damn mask, practiced social distancing, and washed their hands.

You just might save a life . . . maybe your own.

Love one another.