What Happened When I Accidentally Swiped Right on Tinder
By: Claire Lowe
Tags: Relationship Advice, Relationships, Love, This Happened To Me, Life

What Happened When I Accidentally Swiped Right on Tinder

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

I have a confession to make: I’m a Tinder addict.

Swiping through pictures of guys became my hobby. After a stressful day at work, when I get home, I usually open a bottle of wine, grab my phone and open the app. That’s when the game starts.

It’s unbelievable the variety of people you find there. I have seen all types of guys: sporty, cocky, good-looking, nerdy, puppy lover, and much more. For me, the most annoying is the one who posts pictures with friends: I mean, how am I supposed to know who you are?

One day, I was calmly swiping when I stumbled across a particular picture. His name was Joe, he was 24, and he looked like your average guy. In the photo, he wore a red T-shirt, and he had a friendly smile.

Here’s the thing: the competition on Tinder is tough.

Some guys look like they could apply for America’s Next Top Model. And, when you swipe too much on the platform, it’s easy to become picky. Honestly, with so many options, swiping left and missing an opportunity has no consequence at all.

Since I was in doubt, I decided to swipe left for Joe. After all, if I wasn’t sure of him, I might as well keep swiping.

Except I made a mistake and swiped right.

It wasn’t a big deal. I just rolled my eyes and kept going: the show must continue, right? But, when Joe texted me, I was in a good mood, and I replied to him. It turned out Joe was an intriguing guy. He was insanely funny, and we had a lot of interests in common. Our connection was so genuine that I accepted his invitation to go on a date.

Here’s what I learned from giving Joe a chance:

Yes, looks matter.

It is a harsh truth that most people don’t like to hear: when it comes to relationships, the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” is wrong.

The biggest criticism I hear about relationship apps, such as Tinder, is that it makes relationships too superficial. We choose each other based on looks instead of personality. And, let’s be honest: there are a lot of beautiful people in the world. So relationships get shallow because, if they are based on looks, people become easy to replace.

But I’m here to say that looks matter. You can’t date someone if you’re not attracted to them.

The physical aspect is a big part of relationships. It’s possibly the person you’ll kiss and have sex with for the rest of your life. And no girl goes to a nightclub and thinks: “Tonight I’m feeling charitable, I’ll make out with an ugly guy.”

In most cases, looks are the first aspect to catch our attention. Yes, people can evolve from friendship to a romantic relationship — in those cases, it might even be a more solid relationship. But that’s a different story. We don’t develop a crush on someone based on their personality. No, we have crushes based on looks. So your looks are the first step to start the relationship.

When I swiped right to Joe, it was a mistake: I had meant to swipe left. It was a judgment entirely based on looks because it was the first and only information I had.

I judged him by his cover, and I have no regrets.

Looks are not everything.

Now that we’ve established that looks matter, I also want to establish that they are not everything.

A serious relationship requires commitment, honesty, a deep bond, and chemistry, to name a few. None of the items in this list has anything to do with looks.

Successful relationships have a deeper foundation than looks. Imagine this: you are dating someone as hot as Brad Pitt, but you have nothing in common. You can barely have a conversation, your routines are entirely different, and you have conflicting expectations for life. In this case, even his perfect-looking figure will not be enough.

Successful relationships depend on a complex mixture of things.

Even love is not enough to maintain a relationship. Similarly, looks are important, but they are not enough in the long run.

Joe was by far not the most good-looking guy I’ve ever dated. But he was kind, funny, interesting, and we connected on an unexpected level. By allowing myself to look beside his physique, I ended up on a fantastic date. In that case, the looks were absolutely unimportant for the date. Needless to say, the looks also mean nothing about Joe, who is a wonderful person.

Yes, Joe taught me that looks are indeed important. But he also taught me that there is more to relationships than looks.

Allow yourself to be surprised.

Life is an endless chain of unexpected moments.

In the long-term, relationships tend to fall into a routine. With the responsibilities of adulthood, it’s tricky to handle a job, a house, our friendships, and even a side hustle. Naturally, our loved ones are not always our top priority.

But routine is the first step towards the end.

Yes, our loved ones provide comfort and stability. But, as humans, we instinctively need to be stimulated to keep interested. Imagine watching the same movie on Netflix, over and over again. It might be a good movie, but no matter how much you love it, you’ll get bored sooner or later.

Innovating is an act of love.

It is a way of expressing that you took the time and thought of your partner. Here are a few simple ways to innovate in your relationship: prepare a date night, learn how to cook a meal together, plan a trip, go to a different restaurant or nightclub, or simply buy flowers.

Joe was a master in surprising me. First, by his conversation, which captivated me from the start and led me to the date. But he also found ways to stand out by small gestures. In the end, what made him so magnetic was his personality.

When was the last time you surprised your partner?