Struggles of Moving Teens
By: Izabella Perez
Tags: Moving, Struggle, Teenagers, Sad, Lonely

Does moving a teenager or a child to a different state or country affect them in the long run?

A sad teen looking out the car window on a rainy day

Moving from one state or country to another is a very tough thing for teens. In my case, I moved homes very frequently however, not states until I moved from Texas to Arizona. Most of my family lives in Laredo, Texas including my parents. My aunt moved to Arizona 14 years ago and since then my siblings and I have been coming to Arizona every summer. We would spend all of summer here in Arizona with my aunt, uncle, and grandparents. It was always a tough time leaving my aunt and uncle when we would go back to Texas. We would spend the beginning of the car ride back balling our eyes out. Then in the summer of 2018 for our regular summer visit, my brother decided he did not want to come so it was just my sister and I with our grandparents driving to Arizona. At this point we were planning on just coming for our regular summer visit until we spoke to our aunt and uncle about the family problems we were having back home. Which then led to them recommending we stay in Arizona for a semester of high school. We spoke to our mother about this and she wasn’t too convinced at first, then decided it was okay. At this point I didn’t realize that the last goodbye I said to my mom, my brother, the rest of my family and friends was goodbye for longer than I expected it to be. This was a very tough time in my life because I was moving to a new school, new home, and a new community without preparing myself for it. I was only saddened because of the fact that I left my hometown and most of my family without a proper goodbye. It was a tough decision to make but considering the problems I was facing at home it was necessary to move here. The first year was the toughest, I spent most of my days either sad or upset. I was not at a good place in my life. I always felt excluded from everything and isolated from everyone. After about a year, things got better and I finally felt at ease with my life.

Moving as a child or teen is very difficult for most people. Many times it is said that it affects the person as an adult or as they grow older. In the article “Moving as a child can change who you are as an adult” by Christopher Ingraham, he explains how he is moving across the country with his 2 year old twins and his wife and they are discussing weather or not their children will suffer from the effects of moving or if they will even remember when they grow older. They then do research and find out that most children between the ages 12–14 are more likely to feel the “ill effects of moving” and that a child who moves at the age of 14 “has double the risk of suicide by middle age. I moved to Arizona at age 15 however, I was only saddened because of the fact that I left my hometown and most of my family without a proper goodbye. It was a tough decision to make but considering the problems I was facing at home it was necessary to move here. The first year was the toughest, I spent most of my days either sad or upset. I was not at a good place in my life. I was having trouble making new friends, adjusting to the community around me, and overall fitting in. I always felt excluded from everything and isolated from everyone. Eventually things got better and I finally felt at ease with my life. In Ingraham’s article he references a researcher named Roger Webb which then states: “Relocated adolescents often face a double stress of adapting to an alien environment, a new school, and building new friendships and social networks, while simultaneously coping with the fundamental biological and developmental transitions that their peers also experience”. This describes exactly what I was going through at that time and what most kids are also feeling.

From my understanding most military-family kids have it worse than I did. I’ve had a few military-family friends who have explained to me how difficult it is to move every 2–6 months. A study analyzed “548,336 children 6–17 years old , who had one parent in the military and at some point in 2008, 25% of them moved to a new town or city” (Searing 2). They also noticed within the next year, “the children who had moved were more likely to be treated for a mental health issue than those who had not moved” (Searing 2). They then found out that children were affected but teens were the ones who suffered “severe problems” which then leads to higher emergency room treatments or psychiatric hospitalizations. Teens who have moved a lot, are more likely to suffer from drug problems, self-injurious behavior , suicuide attempts, anxiety, and depression. Military-family teens I have spoken to have shared with me that they are used to moving but it still gets harder and harder every time. Continuously, Sean, a close friend who was a military kid, explained how he would struggle to fit in almost everywhere he went. He also explained how he never knew when he was going to move again so didn’t even want to try making new friends because he constantly felt the pain of leaving his friends behind. It was difficult saying goodbye to him however, to this day we communicate everyday.

Overall, it has been proven that adolescents who are constantly moving suffer in the long run. Some of the things I did to overcome my struggle were to constantly talk to someone who was going through the same things I was. In this case it was my sister, she understood some of the feelings of loneliness and we would have long conversations about how we were feeling that day and how we could fix it. I also looked at the positive more than the negative, which is difficult at first. I started my day with a prayer and asked God to guide me in the right direction each day. Another piece of advice I have is doing something you like everyday to make you happy and starting a routine so you have at least one thing constant in your life. You are not alone there are many people who are going through the same things you are. There is a light at the end of every tunnel.

Works Cited

Ingraham, Christopher. “Moving as a Child Can Change Who You Are as an Adult.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 29 Apr. 2019, www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/06/13/moving-as-a-child-can-change-who-you-are-as-an-adult/

Searing, Linda. “Moving Kids from One Town to Another May Affect Their Mental Health, Study Finds.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 31 Mar. 2014, www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/moving-kids-from-one-town-to-another-may-affect-their-mental-health-study-finds/2014/03/31/f9a7d732-b5b9-11e3-8020-b2d790b3c9e1_story.html