A View from the Stands — My life as a parent of a Club Volleyball Player. PT I
By: Ruben Cervantes
Tags: Volunteering, Parenthood, Family, Fatherhood, Volleyball

A View from the Stands — My life as a parent of a Club Volleyball Player. PT I Ruben Cervantes May 1, 2020·7 min read

Mackenzie at 14U

This is part one of a three part post into the evolution of how I came from being a cheering parent into helping run a non-profit club volleyball organization.

I remember the time my daughter Mackenzie, who was 13 years old at the time, came up to me and asked if she could play club volleyball. She loved her experience playing the game for her middle school team. I attended most of her middle school volleyball games and helped out some by doing the scoring with the flip cards or score sheets. But I was mostly a loud cheerleader for her team, much to her embarrassment, but that’s what parents do…be nice and loud and live vicariously through your kids.

My wife and I wanted to support her, as we discovered Mackenzie really thrived being on a team and I felt that volleyball is a great team sport. My only experience with volleyball was playing on the grade 8–9 team in my middle school years, but it wasn’t very memorable for me. My more fond memories with the sport was when my father was a site convener and scorekeeper for a Filipina young women’s volleyball league in the early 80’s that was held at the University of Winnipeg and I would come with him on Sunday mornings and do the scoring and score sheets for all the games. Back then it was side-out scoring where the team that was serving was the only one that could score. I remember games to 15 would take a long time.

But watching Mackenzie’s games in middle school, the scoring changed to rally scoring which was officially adopted in 1999, with the score going to 25 instead of 15. Even with the raise in score, rally scoring made the average length of a game shorter, quicker and spectator friendly.

My wife remembered seeing a flyer at school for Vision volleyball tryouts and we headed out on a Sunday morning and attended a tryout. I honestly didn’t know what to expect, but there must have been a hundred girls in the gym. There were about 4–5 coaches walking around and then choosing players as they were doing drills. Mackenzie was picked and she joined the U14 Vision Elite team with about 11 other girls. She was a competitive rhythmic gymnast prior to playing volleyball and I think that really helped her with her jumping and eye-hand coordination and with the competitive nature of gymnastics at a young age also helped her with discipline. She was surprised that she was chosen as the team captain as voted among her teammates. But I think it was Mack’s benign soul and temperament as most of the girls on the team seemed naturally drawn to her. After making the club team she also asked if she could sign up for the youth league which was a non-competitive volleyball league that was run by Volleyball Winnipeg. So during her first season of volleyball she was playing club and recreational volleyball. I think it was a bit of overkill, but Mackenzie really enjoyed playing the game and we made a pact that as long as volleyball did not interfere with her studies, she could continue to play rec-league.

I remember the season being up and down as I didn’t know it at the time, but her team was more developmental than competitive, Mackenzie experienced a lot more losses than wins with her team, but she was having a positive experience as she was learning a lot more skills in the sport and developing good friendships. My wife and I were also getting to know the parents of Mack’s teammates and we made friends along the way that season. The club practiced a lot during the season, sometimes four or five times a week at various gyms across the city, so the driving was challenging and I didn’t stay to watch many practices, even though the gyms were open to the parents. Tournaments were long days, but it was fun watching Mackenzie grow through the sport, the trips to Brandon for tournaments were a good bonding experience for Mack and her team and it was fun to get together with the parents and talk and learn about each other. I also learned how tough and determined Mackenzie can be.

At the two day Brandon tournament during her second or third match of the evening, one of her teammates jumped and stepped on her ankle. She was writhing in pain and the coaches had to come to the court and pick her up from the floor and walk her back to the bench. I wasn’t sure as a parent, if you can just rush to the floor so I stood by the side of the court and asked if I could come and help. The coach told me that the coaching staff have it under control. So they iced up Mack’s ankle and my wife walked to the bench and sat beside her and held the ice-pack to her leg the rest of the match.

When we got back to the hotel, we noticed the swelling go down but I figured her weekend was done, but she told me that she wanted me to tape up her ankle as she was determined to get back on the court for the next day’s matches. I was a bit apprehensive about letting her return, but the look in her eyes was not of defeat, but resoluteness that she will not let her team down. I spoke to her coach about this and my wife suggested we see if the swelling goes down and if she can place her weight on the ankle and foot then we can make the final decision. Needless to say, the next morning, the swelling on the ankle was considerably lower. She was putting weight on it, and she told me it wasn’t bothering her…I let her play and thank goodness that she made it through the tournament fine health-wise, but I couldn’t recall if they ended their day with a win or not. But I kept thinking to myself , I wasn’t 100% sure that this was the vicarious parent letting her play or the one who thinks she’s tough, determined and comes from a long line of tough guys like me…which I guess is exactly like the vicarious parent…gulp.

A lasting memory I had with Mackenzie was actually at her U14 Provincials. I remember the team she played against, a club rival, and Vision lost the first set. During the second set, the score was close and there was an errant ball that was mis-passed and was going to the back of the court and Mackenzie ran for the ball and tried to save it, but ended up smashing her head into the wall. I was on the sidelines watching the game cheering, and when she hit the wall and started screaming, I quickly got up off my chair and ran to her. I knew not to touch her as I didn’t know the extent of her injury and didn’t want to make things worse. I was just hovering over her and her coach came running to her to watch over her and my wife got someone to call an ambulance. Everyone was frozen in shock, there was a parent who was a nurse and gently checked on her. The nurse assessed that nothing was broken so she was able to move her body which was a good sign and she put Mackenzie in the recovery position while we waited for the ambulance to arrive.

The opposing team’s coach didn’t want to continue the game as everyone from both teams were pretty shaken up. I remember our player advocate at the time helping my wife guide the EMT workers to where Mack was while I stood watch over her. When we got to the Children’s hospital the Dr. told us she suffered a concussion and that we had to observe the concussion protocols, so there would be no sports of any kind for 2 weeks at least. The team didn’t go to Nationals that year, so Mackenzie’s season ended at Provincials. What was very interesting in her first season, her assistant coach told me, was Mackenzie did not miss a practice during her U14 season. She didn’t get player of the year award at the year end banquet, but she told me that she was determined to get back on the court the next season and be an even better player than she was this season.

As for me…the parent who drove her to practices and games about 70% of the time, as the wife is a teacher, so she’s extremely busy. But I didn’t mind the season as a parent of a club player. I found there was a lot of driving to practices and rec-league games and tournaments. It was a bit overwhelming for me at moments, but when isn’t it overwhelming when the kids have to be somewhere after a long day at work? And like I said, I didn’t even stay for many practices as I figured she didn’t need me to be a distraction.

But Mackenzie really enjoyed the practices and the Sunday rec-league games and something else I noticed, was she had a really good knack for the game. Watching from the stands, I’d see some real acrobatic plays as she was never afraid to hit the floor, she seemed to enjoy her role as a captain and she was always the loudest player to cheer when her teammates scored. She was always more happy to see her teammates succeed than herself and I was seeing a side of her that was maturing into a real good person. And that I can truly live vicariously through…