Moving Through Holiday Grief
By: Jenn Shull, The Bold Thing
Tags: Experiential Learning, Emotional Intelligence, Groups, Grief, Grief And Loss

HOWDY, BRAVE & DARING LEADER,

The holidays are a season of yoga even if you don’t put your body into a bunch of different shapes because yoga simply means “to unite”, and this is a time where many of us choose to connect and be present with one another on a deeper level than through the rest of the year.

For many of us, this may look different this year as we are still in a global pandemic. All my love to anyone who is feeling challenged and up against their stuff right now. This year has been one for the transformational record books if we’ve been present enough (and, in many cases, privileged enough) to see all the opportunity that surrounds us.

This year, I’m preparing my dear, sweet Moose (My cat of 18 years.) to transition. I’ve been focusing on being with the emotion and allowing it to move vs. feeling the need to be trapped in any one piece of it, and it’s been beautiful.

Back in 2016 when we said farewell to our, Wedel, my coach and I used the process to create a breakthrough in how I grieved. When I leaned into it, it opened a Pandora’s box of unprocessed emotion — wow! I could feel everything I had stuffed down rising to the surface to be felt.

Since, I’ve been intentional with having healthy outlets for the feels and using my breath, body movement and postures, mind training, and connection to the divine to continue expanding my emotional bandwidth so I have space for all of it at the same time.

Through the lens of yoga, I’d consider Moose and I to be in a new pose, and I’m exploring all that goes with that…

Noticing my:

shallow breath — At times during this process, shallow, labored. At others, full, expansive, nourishing, healing.

— At times during this process, shallow, labored. At others, full, expansive, nourishing, healing. jaw — Here and there, super tense and tight. At others, I don’t notice it.

— Here and there, super tense and tight. At others, I don’t notice it. tongue — On occasion, plastered to the roof of my mouth in stress. The rest of the time, right where it should be.

— On occasion, plastered to the roof of my mouth in stress. The rest of the time, right where it should be. upper back — Sometimes, sooooo tight and constricted! Thankfully, at others, I can move the breath around my upper body to create space and reduce pain.

— Sometimes, sooooo tight and constricted! Thankfully, at others, I can move the breath around my upper body to create space and reduce pain. survival mechanism — My fear based need to “control”. Because I can’t “control” something that is so painful was making me want to try and have the illusion of control in other areas of my life. Fortunately, I’ve moved passed that now.

— My fear based need to “control”. Because I can’t “control” something that is so painful was making me want to try and have the illusion of control in other areas of my life. Fortunately, I’ve moved passed that now. ever increasing comfort with the unknown — Just like you’ll never know what you’ll get with your yoga practice, that’s how I feel each moment of every day when it comes to my emotions. Noticing the grief and anger and sadness that is stored in my body, and I am looking at how I can make sounds, move breath, and move the energy just like in yoga.

Every time I talk about yoga, I always share that it has very little to do with the shapes we put our bodies in and everything to do with our breath and how we’re being with ourselves. You may not practice yoga at all, but may be the biggest yogi of anyone you know.

With love and boldness, Jenn