Things I Learned in 2020
Tags: New Year, New Year Resolution, 2020, New Years Resolutions, Reflections

Generosity will rarely bring regret, if ever.

I’ve never cried tears of joy. But I’m looking forward to the thing/moment/person that makes that happen for the first time.

Never buy a book from Amazon/Kindle (unless it’s self-published, the only way to support an author, etc.). And don’t doubt the impact that you can have as an individual supporting an indie bookstore over a company that is hell-bent on destroying a beautiful industry. Try https://www.indiebound.org/ or https://bookshop.org/ instead.

In general, try to support small businesses whenever you can. It’s not only an act of respect, but it’s important if we want to continue seeing sustainable innovation.

Live with shopaholics so you can enable them and then steal their clothes!!!

Throw a mental pity party for yourself once every few months. It makes it easier to keep it together for the rest of the year.

You are not owed anything in this life. No amount of hard work or prayer or dedication means that you should or will achieve the thing you strive for. The sooner we accept that this is true, while continuing to work for what we want, the more humble and compassionate we will become.

On that last note, manifestation is sparkly bullshit that I no longer believe in. If the simulation were that easy to crack, we’d all get exactly what we want. I believe in being thankful, in working really hard, and in surrendering when you’ve done all you can. But trying to constantly maintain positive energy and believing that will bring you success is just deluding yourself and robbing yourself of emotions you need to feel. The unpredictability of our lives is what makes us human.

From John Mulaney — If you ever reach an awkward point in a conversation with someone, ask them if they’ve ever seen a ghost.

I can’t remember where I read this, only that it stuck with me: When you’re feeling anxious or stressed about something, it helps to take a step back, zoom out, and think about whether that thing will matter one year from now. Whether that be a rejection, a horrific first impression, an embarrassing moment, etc. Most likely the answer is no.

Before posting an infographic, a rant, etc. on social media, think about your intention. If it isn’t to genuinely spread knowledge or show solidarity, but rather to show people you know something they don’t, to show that you’re a certain level of woke, or to shame certain people in your life, don’t post it. Reach out to people personally or don’t bother.

When you’re feeling lost or hopeless or defeated, it helps to imagine a trail map. One that has that “you are here” marker. Picture the end as where you’re meant to end up. Picture your anxiety as all the potential paths that you could take but won’t (they’re greyed out on the map). And then picture yourself. Wherever you are now is a stop on the way, not without value or purpose. You WILL be okay. You are here.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. But also believe that people have the capacity to change. You’re just not responsible for it, and you definitely aren’t obliged to wait around.

Many of us have struggles/stories/trauma that we will never share with anyone, not even with our closest friends. Remember this always, and be more compassionate with the people in your life.

From da Vinci — “Art is never finished, only abandoned.”

We give way too much importance to Western film and literature.

There are people we like hanging out with, and then there are people that make us want to cancel whatever’s on our schedule just to spend time with them because they make us that happy. It’s a blessing to have people like that in your life.

If you’re pursuing a career in entertainment/media, it’s really easy to get caught up in chasing fame because in some ways, it’s a marker of success in the field. Every single one of us in this industry is or has been guilty of this. But chasing fame will drive you insane. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dream big. But chase the beauty in the process over the outcome and you’ll be infinitely more sane and happy.

Collect your professional rejections. Be proud of them. I have SO many and I plan on receiving loads more. It means you’re putting in work. It means you’re creating.

From Cheryl Strayed — “Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life.” Live it beautifully.

From Eckhart Tolle — What you resent deeply in someone else is also in you.

And lastly, put your blinders on if you need to. The success of other people in no way hinders your own. Just shine.