What is Anger?
By: Anu Fajemisin
Tags: Anger

What is Anger?

Anger is an emotion that can be either positive or negative, depending on how you handle it and whether or not you are able to control it. Many things can often trigger anger and that’s not always a bad thing. However, when it borders on you hurting people either physically or verbally, then it becomes a bad thing. Many times, some people who you get angry and frustrated allow their anger to get the better of them. That’s when it can lead to them doing or saying things they later come to regret.

It is perfectly fine to be angry about things quite frankly. For instance, if someone does or says something to upset you deliberately, when an institution has failed or abused your relative who is vulnerable, if you have been falsely accused of something, when you are crossing at traffic lights and they are green but cars are driving past instead of allowing you to cross, or if someone is generally rude to you for no apparent reason. In those situations anger is perfectly justified, because you want some sort of action to be taken. The danger is taking it too far, or it gets to a point where the anger manifests itself so much that you can no longer control it.

Anger Management

There are many things someone can do to help them to control their anger. Boxing is always a good sport to do, because it is about discipline and controlled aggression. Therefore, it is a good thing to do because it helps someone with anger issues to channel all that aggression and get it out of their system. Other physical contact sports like rugby or football are also a way of getting rid of any pent up anger you may have, simply because you are running a field kicking a ball around and trying to get one up on your opponent.

Seeing a psychologist or other health professionals also helps, because it is good to talk to someone who doesn’t know you about the things that trigger your anger. It’s also good to talk to a medical professional because they are not going to judge you. Once you seek help, you also get the chance to open up and confront your anger issues head on, instead of simply bottling it all up inside.

Sometimes if you are out somewhere with a group and you feel yourself about to get cross with something or someone, take some time out. Whether it be sitting in another room by yourself, sitting out in the garden and having a rant to yourself, punching the wall or door or simply talking to someone about what’s upset you. That’s the way forward and is far better than physically and verbally lashing out at people and getting yourself into hot water.

Punching the wall or door also helps because it gets your anger out pretty easily. You can also buy those stress balls or those stretchy things you see in the gym, because it releases any stress and tension you may be feeling at the time.

My Own Personal Experience

I myself have often had problems with controlling my anger in many situations. A lot of the things that trigger it are: when I can’t do something, if someone tells me how to do something instead of advising me on how to do it or they generally tell me what to do, having a disability, if I feel like my independence or my ability to do things is being undermined, if I feel like someone is trying to change me, not having control of certain situations and sometimes having to do things other people’s way and not mine.

I realise we have to be told what to do from time to time. Nonetheless, that’s has always been my biggest hurdle amongst other things. I also realise that some of it is probably just in my head and I really need to do something about that. I have actually sort help in the past from a psychologist to talk through my anger issues. sI have to say I have calmed down a lot since then. However, I still sometimes have the pertinacity to physically and/or verbally lash out.

It has been a different story in the past though. Many times whenever I have got really upset, I either verbally or physically lash out. I know that I should really just walk away from situations and take some time out, but that’s sometimes easier said than done for me. When you are angry and upset you are not thinking rationally, neither are you in the right frame of mind. Sometimes I get myself so worked up about things that I am not really thinking straight and therefore, I end up doing and/or saying things I regret.

I used to lash out at people a lot whilst at school which isn’t a good thing I know. How I never got excluded I will never know. I am not proud of this behaviour at all, as I know it doesn’t get you anywhere and only leads to serious problems. You can actually get into trouble with the law for physically and/or verbally lashing out at people of course.

I suffered from a hole in the heart as a child and needed an operation. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line I suffered from brain damage which caused my visual impairment. Furthermore, I suffered from a global developmental delay which now means I have mild learning difficulties. I sometime wonder if this would have affected my behaviour, because of all the problems that come with brain damage. I have had problems with my aggressive outbursts and my overall behaviour all my life though.

Why People Get Angry

There are lots of things that can trigger anger from people. For instance, if someone isn’t doing things the way they want, but anger is also triggered by the issues I outlined in my second paragraph. Nonetheless, you do get some people who simply get angry for no reason, or they love being angry and get a kick out of using anger to intimidate and overpower people. Either way, we all know that anger can either be a good or bad thing depending on how you channel it of course.

Not being able to get their own way is usually another reason why some people may get angry. However, I believe this is a silly reason for getting angry because in life you won’t always get your own way. Neither will people always do what you want when you want. Therefore, instead og losing your temper, it’s worthwhile trying to work your way around it.

Some other people get angry because they have been bullied at some point in their lives, or they have been controlled by someone else. This can make someone angry for many reasons. Mainly because they have been taunted or dictated to in the past and they haven’t been able to stand up to it. This anger can make someone determined that they will never allow people to treat them like that ever again which is a good thing. It’s good to stand up for yourself and not allow people to walk all over you. However, some people go the other way and end up thinking everyone’s against them and wants to bully and intimidate them all the time. They therefore feel that they must always fight everyone and everything,which is only going to cause problems for them in the near future.

Control Your And and Don’t Let it Control You

Sometimes it is very easy to allow your anger to get the better of you in certain situations. No mater how hard you try not to let something or someone get to you, sometimes the red midst just descends and you can’t control it. However, if you are constantly losing your temper because of something or someone, then there’s something clearly wrong with you. There is a problem that clearly needs to be addressed and the sooner one addresses it the better it is for them.

Some people have difficulty controlling their anger for many different reasons. For instance, if someone is saying or doing something to upset you and they are going on and on at you. The reason they are doing this is because they want to get a reaction out of you and to upset you. That’s their aim. Once you get angry and lose your temper with them they have won. I guess sometimes it is better to simply ignore it and let things go.

That’s easier said than done though. Some people feel they must stand up to the people or pers on who has annoyed them, because if they don’t it will seem like they are a push over and they allow people to just treat them anyhow. Nonetheless, sometimes it is better to either talk to the person calmly and assertively about the effect their behaviour is having on you, or to just back down. There are some battles you fight and some you just have to leave. No mater how much you want to go up against someone who has upset you sometimes it’s really not worth it. It will only get you into trouble and people will think you are confrontational and aggressive, even though it really isn’t your aim to come across like that.

Conclusion

Anger is a perfectly normal emotion to feel from time to time. We are all entitled to feel angry about things that have made us frustrated and upset. Nonetheless, it isn’t OK to verbally and/or physically lash out at people. Something I myself have had to learn overtime. Sometimes it is all too easy to let things get on top of you and not know how to handle it. It is very easy sometimes to just let the pressure of life or certain difficult situations build up, therefore things tend to then escalate.

The longer you allow your anger to manifest, the worse things get for you and the worse you feel within yourself. It isn’t good to bottle things up either. If something has upset you, it is always worth either taking time out to calm down by sitting somewhere by yourself, or talking to someone about what has made you angry.

If you have anger issue, then the sooner you seek medical assistance the better. If not, you will only get yourself into real trouble because you have done something you live to regret. Control your anger and don’t let it control you.