Receiving with grace and paying it forward
By: Web Spinner
Tags: Regeneration, Giving, Community, Connection, Life

Bringing you up to speed

I’m living on the land of a co-operative named Keveral Farm. I arrived here two weeks ago unannounced, hoping to volunteer. I was welcomed and am now hoping to stay on for the next six months as a live in volunteer, supporting the co-operative and the community repair their culture and begin village building.

It felt as though the steaks were high when I turned up. I didn’t know what I would do if they didn’t need voluntary help and had needed to move on. I was physically tired and emotionally drained, in need of rest and stillness.

I’ve begun to feel a sense of weariness from having spent so much time in movement over the last year. My being has been asking me to settle and root for the winter months.

Manifesting intention

I quickly gained a sense that there was a place for me here at Keveral. Although,

it’s one thing to imagine and sense that something is possible, it’s another matter entirely to craft circumstances into a way that reflects one’s initial intention.

I have been engaged in a dance for the last fortnight — of waxing and waning, of tugging and going with. I have needed to be alert and agile, nimble and swift, articulate and silent, equally. Circumstances have called me to be at my best and to give my all, done with a grace and elegance that resembles the effortless, almost indifferent swimming of a duck across a pond.

At times I have felt like an athlete in training — feeling my competencies, my skills and attributes sharpening, in such a way that I feel can only serve me as I progress through life and find myself in different situations.

What will be, will be

The decision of whether I live at Keveral for the next six months lies in the hands of eight other people. The community seem disconnected and seem to co-exist rather than commune in harmony and unison.

Holding my own line, whilst reaching out, is a fine balance to live.

I am present with the need of holding my line and not giving my power away unconsciously. Carrying myself in such a way can be draining, when done over time, because it calls for presence and alertness in all that I do.

As a result, I am in a place of surrender, because I know I am giving all that I can to win my place here. And if that is not wanted then I accept this is not the place for me. If the doors remain closed for the winter, then I surrender and am ready to continue on, knowing that eventually I will arrive at the place that is mine to be in.

The New Story: exchanges without money

An aspect of the challenge I’m facing is attempting to negotiate a place without paying for it financially. Instead I am offering skills and practices that directly address the needs that are present in the community.

I really hope that the value of what I offer and the need that I am proposing to meet is recognised and valued. I also hope the absence of financial interaction doesn’t inhibit the possibility for me to stay, because I wish to invest myself here and support this community to grow and evolve.

Paying it forward

Whilst weeding some spinach in the week, I realised I wanted to speak briefly about paying it forward. Living as I have over the last few months has meant I’ve needed to begin receiving with grace. The lyrics of Ruth Bebermeyer which I found in the first chapter of Marshall Rosenberg’s book on NVC, speaks to this in a beautiful way:

I never feel more given to than when you take from me —

when you understand the joy I feel giving to you.

And you know my giving isn’t done to put you in my debt,

but because I want to live the love I feel for you.

To receive with grace

may be the greatest giving.

There’s no way I can separate the two.

When you give to me,

I give you my receiving.

When you take from me, I feel so given to.

— “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer from the album Given To

Something that has supported me in being able to receive with grace is the idea of ‘paying it forward’. This means that everything I receive, be it: a ride, a hot drink, a roof, food, emotional support, sincere words of encouragement and belief, money or any other form of energy that is shared with me by another person, that furthers my journey, is something that I gladly receive. Every act of love I receive fuels my intention to give to a person, or people, when the time comes that I am able to give and share, who will be in need themselves.

The idea of paying it forward supports me to understand and recognise that I am a part of something far greater than myself.

Paying it forward takes me out of the self-centred/ego-driven and completely self-interested take, take, take paradigm and brings me into contact with the sense of living in service.

When abundance begins to manifest itself, then I will be sure to share the abundance in a way that enables it to continue spreading and growing.

Closing Thought: King Arthur and Sir Accolon

I read the Arthurian legend of Morgan Le Faye earlier this week. In the legend Arthur is locked in a battle to the death, unknowingly, with his friend and faithful ally Sir Accolon. Both knights bring each other to their knees at one point or another in their duel. Both face death and are summoned to yield by the other. Both, in the face of death, hark their commitment to the vow they made, that they uphold as a matter of honour.

Both knights survive the duel and learn of that black magic that has been at play. Sir Accolon later dies of his injuries, but both men were able to live on with dignity and respect, knowing they had been courageous and True, even in the face of their own deaths.