How To Love. What is Love? Love is an expression…
By: Abiodun Olusanya
Tags: Heart, How To, Forgiveness, Love, Heartbreak

The Love Theory- Part I -(Love and Our heart)

What is Love? Its a virtue expressed via our actions. According to the bible in Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4–8 a) So love = act.

The quest here is why do we get hurt? why do we feel stabbed in our hearts, or back stabbed when people do not reciprocate our loving actions? Why is it painful when we loose things we love, people we love? Why do we find it hard to forgive? Its because - apart from our actions, we also give-in, all our heart. We put all our hearts into what we do. We invest all our heart. We apply more than needed to achieve the same goal. Dear friend, Love is a deed to execute- unattached. Do not light up a fuse and blow with it — toss it. Light another and toss it, and you get to ‘love’ everyday.

Life is a balancing act, there should be moderation while applying virtue. Like for example, too much courage is foolhardy and could get you killed, too little courage and you avoid healthy risk and you are seen as a coward. Too much modesty and you may come off as shy and withdrawn. To little modesty and you become irritating and boastful. Well, Love is a virtue too, so should it not be moderated as well? Yes of course. That is exactly the point. Of all the virtues mentioned, Love is the strongest force, and greatest virtue of all. Its that one virtue whose touch makes humans feel better in their life’s pathway to self-worth, fulfillment and contentment. It says in 1 John 4:16 b ‘..God is Love,..’ This explains why its such a magnanimous virtue.

The point now is this, love comes from the heart. Its a treasure placed in all of us. Matthew 12:35 ‘ A good man out of the good treasure of the heart brings forth good things..’ Our heart is like a little treasure box. Owned by Good, but contended for by evil. By nature, we should only give out from it. Nothing should go in, Only out (I will explain in another write up)

The thing with love is, it attracts, it draws people and things. The nature of love is to unify. It brings together and not divide. Listen carefully now. Love is in your heart, its one of your virtues, and its nature is to draw, unify. The moderation we must maintain h-e-r-e is not permitting the love force to drag with it the people(e.g family, friends, loyalists, celebrities), the things (e.g jewelry, phones, cars, money, gadgets) we love into our hearts. It short circuits the heart. The heart is not a place for any of these things. Your heart is a treasure box, a place where the scripts and instructions of virtues are placed by God. What we need to learn is to control and moderate the pull generated by love and set the boundaries just right at the door of our heart. And there you have your moderation. Don’t take anything In!

Proverbs 4:23 ‘Guard your heart with all ll diligence…’ When we mind/man the boundaries of our hearts and we allow love to continually flow from it and NOT pull into it, we allow God to dwell in it, because - God-is -Love. You can not love without God. When we allow the love force to drag things in with it, we are letting those things to contend with God. Only God should dwell in our hearts. Anything other than God in your heart is worldly, is temporal and it can lead to disappointment. Its like a sugar high. They create an illusion and depletes your treasure space for the things and gifts of God. Greater is He that is in you, than he that is the world. If you feel love is lacking in your life or you lack love to give, take time and seek God, and you will find love.

Here is a litmus test you can carry out to find out the state of your heart. Give away something you really treasure. Something with sentimental value. You can give it to someone close to you to make it easier on you at first. If you find it difficult to do, then you need to pray to God to help you. There you are two or more instances in the bible where we see God giving man the litmus test just cited above. First, is when God asked Abraham to sacrifice his one and only son (Genesis 22:1–12) Second is when Jesus asked the young rich ruler to dispose of his wealth to the poor for him to be able to follow Him (Matthew 19:16–22) God is simply saying are their things in your life contending for my place in your heart? Check this, ask yourself, If I am to pass away right now, these things I am holding on to, these things I am hoarding, will I go away with any of it? Capital NO. By then you would have denied yourself the most desirous of things — a relationship with God, your father, your maker.

Just one more quick example to make things clearer on why possessions should not come in contact with your heart. Just like everything God created the earth, the moon and the sun — they coexist beautifully, and traverse the universe minding the gravitational pull on one another. Do you know that too much pull and the earth will be in the path of destruction? So naturally everything God has made operates with boundaries. The clouds stays in its place; minding its distance. So does the ocean tide - in its coming ins and going out. Same way you have to guard your heart.

Therefore remember, Love should only spur you to act, not to hold-on-to, for us to be able; by the strength (another gift for your treasure box) -given of God, to handle losses, breakups, disappointments and even be able to forgive. Lord Jesus taught us in Luke 17: 4 that “ Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” This makes us to start asking ourselves how-is -this- even-possible. How do I do it?

Start by inviting God into your heart. Ask for His spirit to dwell there always. Honor His presence with every breathe you take, delight in the things that are godly and likewise recite this verse:

Psalm 16:11

You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever

By faith, your heart will experience an increase of Gods love, which will radiate and never get stalled by any circumstance.

In your private time, you may listen to the following song.