Create an alter ego - Why it's crucial & how to get started
By: Che Maria Milani
Tags: Confidence, Potential, Imagination, Alter Ego

“At your core, you have unlimited possibility. You have to decide and choose who you are and who is gonna show up to get the results you want.”

This is a smashing quote from Todd Herman himself.

If that name is unfamiliar to you, that’s okay.

He was unknown to me too a short while ago, but when I discovered him, I was beyond intrigued.

His rightful claim to fame is him taking an age-old concept and creating an actionable framework in which we can all get results.

Okay, but what are these results?

What on earth am I talking about?

I’m talking about creating & having an alter ego…another dimension to your wonderful nature that allows you to go out there and get s**t done!

Now before you get a bit twitchy, I’ll make this disclaimer — whatever you think this post could be about, it’s NOT about being fake or crazy out of character.

If you can accept that, we can move on…because it’s super interesting and if you see this reading journey to the end, I think you’ll be just as intrigued as I was…

To kick us off, we need to start at the beginning (because that’s always a good place to start) and ask ourselves why we’d even want to create an alter ego in the first place?

In what kind of situation could we possibly find ourselves that we would need to call on ‘a person’ other than our everyday selves?

Many situations, actually.

If you’re even just the tiniest bit hungry for something in life (which you totally are otherwise you wouldn’t be here, on this very page!) then I’m sure you’ve had that very human experience of not quite pulling off what you were hoping to…

…because you were suddenly scared / doubtful / unsure / indecisive / [insert icky sensation] to get out there and nail whatever you were wanting to nail.

Perhaps this happened at work, or socially, or at home, or wherever…the context doesn’t matter.

What matters is that it happened.

And that you don’t want it to happen.

You don’t want to not show up in your full potential to achieve something amazing.

Because if you want to be confident, then hell, you want to be confident — and not just in your daydreams.

If you want to be more creative, more courageous, more clear in your thinking, more loving….then that’s what you want and why not??

This is the big question that takes us to the next stepping stone.

“Why not?!”

And because Todd Herman realised this, and saw how many great people flip the switch on their potential, he’s made it his life’s mission to teach people how to get out of their own way.

Essentially, this is what having an alter ego comes down to.

Elbowing your everyday self outta the way, and instead letting your greater self take the lead in the moments in which you need it the most.

Hopefully by now you can guess that the idea of being fake isn’t a part of it.

But we’ll go deeper into this as we move along…

If you’ve spent any amount of time exploring the self-development sphere, then perhaps you’re familiar with some of the suspected reasons as to why we’re not fulfilling our naturally awesome potentials…

A lot of it boils down to narratives — the narratives we tell ourselves, our family and friends tell us, and the subconscious ones shaped during our early years.

We are not to blame for a lot of our narratives.

We’re impressionable creatures and were carefully (and carelessly) moulded in our early years by those around us and by what happened to us.

These people and these events wrote the scripts we tell ourselves, like well-rehearsed but unthinking actors.

What I’m trying to say is that maybe your frustration at not reaching the point you’re aiming for is not entirely your fault.

But…the solution can be totally in your control.

All through the creation & adoption of an ‘Alter Ego’.

Would you believe me if I said that you’ve probably already toyed with an alter ego?

Most likely when you were a kid playing make-believe games, using that imagination of yours to do all sorts of fun & crazy things!

Of course, you didn’t think it was crazy at the time. You were having fun, and wanted to do fun things, and so you just did them by embodying a character other than your own.

You were constantly asking yourself “What would I do if I was [insert favourite superhero]?”. And then you’d have a whale of a time totally living out the scenario in your imagination.

We very quickly lost this gift as we grew older…the harshness of reality dulled the edges of our imagination and we became a little too self-aware.

That powerful question of “What would I do if I was…?” faded from memory.

But Todd Herman is here to bring that question back to life!

6 reasons to play with an alter ego

As with anything, an understanding of ‘the why’ always helps.

Why would anyone be motivated to explore this technique and play this game of creating an alter ego?

Perhaps you:

>> aren’t at the level of success you desire (whether work or otherwise)

>> are avoiding the very things you need to to do, but feel that you simply just can’t do them

>> are scared of being judged by your ‘community’ for your success (‘Who are you to think you can be better than us?’)

>> know you have oodles of potential to fulfil

>> feel like you’d be betraying your true nature in order to do certain things or be a certain way

>> have Impostor Syndrome

All of these points are perfectly valid and real…and if each one is to be properly unpacked, we could be here all day!

But the most important thing isn’t to painfully dissect our shortcomings and make ourselves feel even more crappy.

Instead, simply recognise that you have one, many or all of these obstacles and you’re willing to do something about it!

And one way around it is to create an alter ego.

The most effective way to build the foundation of your alter ego

I know little alarm bells are probably ringing your head — you’re thinking “But I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not, I don’t want to be fake!”

I get it.

As we go along, you’ll see that being fake doesn’t even feature.

In fact, the opposite is the crux of it all.

With an alter ego, you have an opportunity to bring forth a persona who is actually based on the deeper, truer aspects of yourself.

But these are the aspects that have been suppressed (for whatever reason — fear, trauma, environment) and are preventing you from reaching new heights.

It’s not all just make-believe…it’s a careful consideration of:

>> which qualities you feel you’re lacking

>> who or what could inspire you to adopt / draw out these qualities

>> creating an alternative, improved version of yourself who embodies these qualities

>> triggering this version of yourself

>> using it to crush your goals

In those steps, you can be on your merry way to using an alter ego to get yourself out of your own way.

Now, to start building the foundation of all this, Todd Herman talks about going to a deeper level, beyond the obstacles we listed before.

Once you’re clear on your goals, dreams & aspirations, go a step further…

…by paying a bit more attention to your emotions.

As we instinctively know, emotions are our core drivers in life.

Emotions spur us into action, and also help us decide when not to take action.

They’re the road signs of life.

And so when we have an emotional connection to our vision, we have some pretty good momentum to get us going in that direction.

Thinking of a goal or vision should trigger some kind of feeling for us. Otherwise it’s not really worth pursuing, is it?

With the feeling side of things established, Herman encourages us to ask ourselves another 2 questions:

>> “What value or meaning & purpose do I want in my life?”

>> “What good, beyond myself, do I want to create?”

This helps us dig a bit deeper into the emotions & values that drive us.

So, in what sphere of your life, and in others’, do want to have an impact?

Perhaps your focus is:

>> purely on yourself (which is totally fine, don’t let others make you feel like you’re ‘selfish’)

>> your family

>> your community

>> a racial or gender group

>> a cause

>> an organisation

Whatever it is, you can impact people’s mindsets / narratives / progress / creativity / beliefs through your good work…

…if you get out of your own way.

Most of the time, you’re going to be motivated by positive core emotions & values, right?

We assume this, but actually negative emotions can be damn powerful too.

When you embark on this fun process of creating an alter ego, don’t push all the negative stuff to one side, because there may be some value in there.

Negative emotions, like anger, are big moving energies.

Ever been pushed to the point where you just bloody-well take action because you can’t cope with the status quo anymore?

That’s not always such a bad thing…

But of course, the trick is to channel these negative energies in a positive way.

And doing so through an alter ego is a great (and safe) option!

There are plenty of characters (real & imagined) out there who use negative energies to their advantage. If you feel that this is what you need to do, then those characters can be part of your alter ego.

Often what happens is, this negative energy peters out over time…and transmutes into something really positive. The catalyst for this is when the ‘work’ done starts to have a positive effect on the person & the people around them.

There’s impact, there’s achievement, there’s movement.

The person, with alter ego in hand, discovers their deeper values & meaning, and altruism can start to take shape.

And even if you don’t know your big ‘Why’ for wanting to do something, but you just feel a wonderful inspiration or curiosity, that’s totally fine.

Why should everything be justified?

Remember, we’ve been highlighting the importance of emotions & feelings!

So, go with it and let the journey unfold.

Soon enough the ‘Why’ reveals itself.

Don’t forget that taking action is oftentimes underrated.

In the midst of action, you get into the flow and when this happens…answers & ideas are channelled through us.

Now, I’m not going to walk through the exact process of building an alter ego because then I’d just be rewriting Todd Herman’s book…and that would be silly.

I prefer to share with you the value of having an alter ego & why it works.

So, let’s continue, shall we?

The magical, secret power of an alter ego

By now, you can see that an alter ego can help us get out of a rut.

But how exactly?

What’s the magic behind it?

With the obstacles I listed before, it’s obvious that for you to envision your success & achievements becomes almost impossible.

The beauty of an alter ego is its ability to create space & distance between you and the dark enemies within you that hold you back.

(That was a bit dramatic, but it sometimes feels like that, right?)

Cue the power of disassociation.

It becomes almost like having an out-of-body experience.

When you remove yourself from yourself, and instead live through your alter ego at the times when you need to, you become the cool version of yourself who walks in, kicks ass and gets stuff done.

You’re able to do this because you’re not being your everyday self, the same self that keeps you tethered….but rather the version of yourself that brings results to the table.

All whilst being empowered and effecting great change for yourself and those around you.

I know it’s very ‘theoretical’ right now, but I just want to make the benefits super clear.

Another bonus to the power of disassociation is similar to a concept spoken of by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic, Eat Pray Love and other books.

She speaks of every person’s creative genius as coming from outside of us instead of within us.

What this does is relieve us of the pressure to be a genius at whatever we’re doing. So if we fail or mess up, oh well, it wasn’t entirely our fault.

Our external genius is also to blame.

That principle is the same for what we’re talking about here!

If the alter ego gives us space & distance and a chance to step away from our everyday selves, then we too can be bolder in taking risks, as well as a bit more forgiving towards ourselves if things don’t go as hoped….

…because that mishap or failure belongs to the alter ego.

This is a great protection mechanism for us.

Stay tuned for Part II as we deep-dive into how to do all of this authentically and in a way that aligns with who we are!