fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Single is a Mindset
By: Sienna Clarke
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Dating Advice, Life, Self Development

I think I have “single brain”.

There’s an immeasurable level of freedom that comes with being single. Relationships can feel more like work.

Some relationships can feel like having a second job.

When you’re tired of putting in time on the first one, along comes the second, demanding not only your time, but your effort and emotional input as well.

I just wasn’t into it anymore.

Still aren’t.

Can I tell you a secret?

The fact that after all this time, I still don’t really have any desire to be close to someone again is starting to scare me.

I mean, I live a pretty good life that’s completely free of the headaches trials that I hear my ‘coupled’ friends going through.

No thanks.

My marriage was to a difficult, narcissistic, insecure individual, and the last thing I’m trying to do, is let that kind of stress on ANY level back into my life.

I’ve always said that if/when I get into another relationship, we’ll never live in the same house.

Regardless of where that relationship goes or how long it lasts, he will keep his residence, and I will keep mine.

That’s not meant to sound cold, but I’ve “been there, done it”, and climbing back into that boat just doesn’t appeal anymore.

I would even be cool with him living in another country (my daughter laughs at this).

Why?

I like the peace that comes with living alone. I’m an introvert, so my mental and physical space are very important.

Many people don’t get that.

There are a lot of perks that come with being single.

I’m not interested in cooking for someone unless I happen to be cooking for myself.

I like having the bed to myself.

I really like not being awaken (or kept awake) by someone snoring next to me.

I raised 3 children alone, and now that they’ve grown up and moved out, the peace and quiet are endless.

And I love every second of it. I’m not sure that there’s a man out there worth giving it up for.

I even resent the odd occasion that forces me to be social. Even if it’s a date!

I haven’t had one of those either in a very long time, and I’m cool with that.

My point is that there are lots of perks that come with being single. And many people (like me) are quite happy enjoying them.

Being single isn’t some kind of disease that we should run from.

Rushing into, or being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship can be detrimental to your mental health.

If you have friends who are single, and have been for awhile, maybe that’s just the way they like it. Single can be a mindset. It’s that simple.

Peace.
We have the power to create our own weather each day
Tags: Women Inspiring Women, Carry Your Own Weather, Connecting Circles, Self Development, Silence

The journey of time spent is a popular hash tag of social media — #throwback. I admire my #officethrowback at times. It’s like varied strokes on the canvas — good, ugly, bad. But once the whole picture is complete and your ordinary eyes gaze at it, it just looks picturesque.

Horizontal, Vertical, Diagonal — all switches in one’s career leave an impact. Somethings you carry with you and some are carried with you and vice versa for “losing” them too.

I started something, while in my previous role, with a bunch of female colleagues, and we called it “Connecting Circles”. It was a group mentorship program where women inspire women and create a missing spark. A haven to connect beyond boundaries for all the wonder women — Shooting Stars, Mavens, Bumble Bees, Sparklers and Power Puffs.

As I switched my role, the circles remained behind but, the connection was carried along. Had been a part of some of the fiery and heart melting at the same time, super-inspiring and scintillating conversations well twisted with humour. So much to talk about, share and sometimes understand the unspoken — Incredible women!

In one of the sessions recently, I was fortunate to make my attendance. We discussed on how small habits can make bigger change in improving our perspective towards life. But what I loved the most was this simple but powerful message by Franklin Covey — “Carry your own weather”.

Between stimulus [what happens to us] and response [how we react to what happens to us] there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose. If you want to have more influence in your life, or if your emotions are getting in your way, you can choose to carry your own weather.

A beautiful video to bring us to a realization that how important it is to carry our own weather.
Stop playing the game you don’t like
By: Bulcha, The Charismatic Nerd
Tags: Self Improvement, Confidence, Inspiration, Life Lessons, Self Development

There is this one rapper named Russ.

People in the hip hop world love him or hate him. There is no in-between.

At times he rubbed me off the wrong way, but eventually, I’ve come to like him and his music.

The thing about Russ is he exudes his lyrics and overall life philosophy.

Whether it’s through his music, business ventures, or interviews. You get a sense that Russ not only talks the talk but walks the walk.

And a couple of days ago, I was listening to his song called Stockholm Syndrome and he rapped some lyrics which I thought could be applied to all of us. It went like this:

‘Ony way to beat the game is don’t play it, f*ck you, come on.’

The reason why I went all giddy with these lyrics is that I could relate to them. When I stopped playing the games society expected from me is when I was able to find more peace of mind.

Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

In fact, I decided to start playing my own game where finding internal peace was the goal.

This involved cutting out a lot of people from my social circle, minimizing contact with some family members, and currently working in a job where I don’t have to drink the company kool-aid.

By playing my own game, it became so much easier to ignore society’s standards.

And when I look at my peers playing society’s game, a lot of them don’t like it. They follow the simple path of going to school, getting a job (they probably don’t like), and wasting away their time with unfulfilling activities.

Yet, so many people don’t realize they don’t have to play society’s game.

For whatever reason, this option is never brought up in our minds. Well, I’m telling you that you have that option.

You have the option to play your own game.

And the fun part about playing your own game is that you create the rules and goals. You find the ones that seem authentic and honest to you.

When you give yourself that power for your own life, you’re going to wonder why you wasted all these years playing a game you didn’t like.

So with the remaining years in your life, go and create the one you can be proud of.

(If you enjoyed this short article, then click here to join my email list where you get a daily boost of confidence every morning plus the free Self-Improvement Cheat Sheet for Nerds.)
The unintended effects of taking action
By: Bulcha, The Charismatic Nerd
Tags: Confidence, Self Improvment, Inspiration, Life Lessons, Self Development

If you’ve been on my list for a little while, you know I’m a groupie for taking action.

And I’ve preached and preached about taking action.

It’s pointless to bring it up.

But I just thought of something about taking action, and well…I want to share it with my dearest readers.

You see, when you take action consistently, you are setting yourself up for surprises.

Besides the lessons from failures and the glory of successes. Taking action consistently goes much deeper than that.

With all your action taking, you are actually expanding yourself and your mind.

Hear me out.

Every time you take action, you are growing.

You are providing yourself evidence that you did something and you can do more.

And when your mind and body start believing that, more ideas start popping up.

More opportunities are in your vision.

The whole world seems like a playground.

Photo by Kekai AhSam on Unsplash

All this happens when you take action consistently. It’s crazy to think but if we investigate deeper we will see it makes sense.

Say we have person A, who just goes to work, goes home right after, watches Netflix, and hangs with some buddies from high school/college/work. Year in and year out, little changes. He might go on vacation a little, date a few girls. But overall same life.

Okay, so we have person B. He goes to work. Then right after he works on his passion project. Other days, he takes part in rec league volleyball. He is social with whoever and whenever. But he also takes time to recharge by himself.

Between person A and B, who do you think will have a more fulfilling life?

Who do you think will have dating success?

Who do you think will find work that he loves?

Who do you think will be a more interesting person?

It’s not hard to see. Person B will get more from life, not because of any specific thing he does. But because he is out there engaging with the world and taking action.

Too many people coop themselves at home and then wonder why their lives suck.

It’s not that complicated.

Engage more with the world, and over time the world will reward you.

So while you are still alive, go make your life worthwhile.

Go take action.

(If you enjoyed this short article, then click here to join my email list where you get a daily boost of confidence every morning plus the free Self-Improvement Cheat Sheet for Nerds.)
How to Focus Better and realize where Focus Goes Energy Flows Secrets to Win the Day.
By: Keith Greiveldinger
Tags: Healthy Lifestyle, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Development, Mindset

Wherever you are, I hope that you make an awesome day as I recently read a great quote that states: “Where focus goes, energy flows.” What this means is that your focus determines your reality, and it also determines your mindset and the energy that you bring to each day.

Each of us is an ongoing product of the world within us and around us simultaneously for that reason. This is exactly what shapes our energy, our thoughts, our behaviors, much like a warm sunny day can evoke warm emotions and happy emotions. But I also want to say it makes us more impatient if it’s beautiful and sunny out, you become more impatient because you want to enjoy the day around you. When it’s cold out, you’re more patient because your mindset and your emotions are affected by your reality and the world around you.

There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you recognize how this can affect you, and you can use that to your advantage. We can use that information to become or maximize our health and well being. It’s the holidays. Thanksgiving was a time of gratitude It may be a time of, “Oh my gosh, it’s Black Friday, we got to shop and we got to buy this and we got to get this food or we’ve got to get this table set and get this invite out and get the house clean.” Or it may be a mindset of gratitude.

Same thing with the holidays coming up, You have to have the time to realize that the seasons are there for you to enjoy, or for you to recognize how the time is going. Where we have different things around us every day that change our mindset and affect our mood and our emotions. And our mood and emotions are so affected by the surrounded area. I even read a study that said people are decorating for the holidays earlier this year. Before Thanksgiving, Christmas decorations were out or being sold, Christmas music was being played, because they found that people have something to look forward, and that that creates a positive emotion in our brain by being able to decorate and control that and be able to look forward to the holidays, have something to look forward to affects our psyche and our mindset.

So recognize that, that your focus determines your reality, and where your focus goes, energy flows. And if you focus on the right things, and instead of seeing things as obstacles but opportunities. The world around us is changing. Maybe not be a bad thing. See it as the opportunity to change and adapt and overcome. So realize that, where focus goes, energy flows, and that your reality is the world around you, is what you make of it is the most important thing and you control that. You can control and work your emotions to help you win the day. #Wintheday
How to stay motivated with Failures and why Washing your hands is Proof.
By: Keith Greiveldinger
Tags: Healthy Lifestyle, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement, Self Development, Mindset

Wherever you are, I hope that you make an awesome day, because no matter the obstacles in front of you, every day is an opportunity for you to win the day. Today, I am reminded of a great quote from Winston Churchill when he said, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Well, the single greatest way to be successful or happy in life is to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. People that have a fixed mindset, or are like Popeye, “I am who I am, and I’m not going to change,” are failing right now, are hurting the most right now because our world is changing faster than ever. We’re in a pandemic, Businesses are changing, our lives are changing, everything is changing so much faster than it used to that you have to have a growth mindset, the ability to adapt, and overcome, and persevere. That’s the biggest factor that will distinguish success from not success.

The world is moving faster today than ever before. Think of this great example, many years ago, over a hundred years ago, there was a scientist who discovered that surgeons that wash their hands before childbirth help the success of the woman who is birthing a child and her survival rate, but it took almost 25 years for this scientist to convince the medical community that the simple act of washing their hands could help save the mother’s life. And right now, that would never happen because we’re learning at such a faster clip, but back then people ignored this simple advice because they stuck with a fixed mindset. The results weren’t there readily for them to see on a regular basis, but we learn so much quicker now.

And right now, in the midst of a pandemic and the economy you think small businesses are hurting the most, well I just read a stat that said more new small businesses were created in the last five months than in the last five years combined. Right now, people are starting new businesses. There’s changes abound, you have to have the ability to adapt, and that all comes down with your mindset. If you have a mindset of growth, believing that you can learn, and overcome, and try new things on a daily basis, that is one of the most pivotal factors that will determine your success versus non-success, your happiness versus non-happiness. If you have that growth mindset, thinking that you can learn, then you’re more apt to overcome obstacles, and that really is the key to anything. Anything that you’ve ever succeeded at in life doesn’t come by happenstance and chance, it’s because you keep moving forward and you keep working at it. So remember that, having a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset is your key to win the day.
The 1% Rule
By: Phil Desforges
Tags: Self Development, Self Improvement, Mindset, Psychology

When we want to improve at any given skill or ability, we tend to go for the things we will notice. We want to feel great about ourselves. Everyone has done it. After all, our brains love rewards.

This approach doesn’t work. Because at some point, you’ll find a challenge you can’t make a noticeable improvement. This will inevitably discourage you, leaving you to think you have reached a limit.

We don’t want that, do we?

When trying to get better at something, the better goal is to be one percent better than yesterday. Now, I’m not asking you to calculate that. It’s only an image. It’s about breaking down things into their smallest form.

Say you want to read more books next year. Does it sound daunting to read 10 more books? Yes? Then let’s break it down. Can you add 10 Chapters to your reading habit? Yes? Then that’s your one percent.

The important thing to remember is that it is relative to your standards. You take a little bit of what you can chew, and repeat that every day.

This is how to get better at anything.
HOW to Surrender, Actually.
By: Serena V Amoroso
Tags: Growth Mindset, Spirituality, Healing, Acceptance, Self Development

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” — {The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak}

For years I ‘struggled’ to surrender.

“Just let go.”, they said.

“HOW though?!”, I would plead.

Surrender is not a passive practice. It is the practice of allowing + accepting the flow of life, Source energy, to move through you & guide you rather than your ego preferences, desires or fears.

It is a practice of constant faith and deep trust. It is also a practice of FREEDOM. No longer must you force, push or struggle through Life.

Surrender is accepting every moment & experience as a gift.

Surrender is allowing every moment to be a divine teacher for your spiritual evolution.

Surrender opens you up to RECEIVE the beautiful, expansive & magical potentials of the unknown.

How do you accept and allow? Continually meeting the moment with Love + Trust knowing each moment is guiding your highest good and the good of all, especially when you can’t see it yet.

Surrender is a practice. It is a lens. It is a state of being in the world. Try it on.

What does surrender mean to you?

x Serena

@serenavamoroso
How to learn a new skill.
By: Ibc Africa
Tags: Reskilling, Self Development, Skills Development, Skill Acquisition

Albert Einstien once said, “Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” This should be taken seriously because the moment you stop learning is the moment you stop growing.

Going about learning a new skill can seem a daunting task so we broke it down into five easy steps that are guaranteed to give results when implemented.

1. Pick a skill suited to your interest: There are probably lots of skills that you want to learn. However, this doesn’t mean that you can try to learn all of them. It’s much more likely that you’ll persevere in your attempts to learn some skills more than others, this is why you should pick a skill for reasons that align with your interests

2. Have a Specific Goal: When you pick a skill you want to learn, you should write down your objective as a goal statement. However, you have to make sure that the goal is specific, and not vague.. I.e wanting to learn code is a vague goal but narrowing it down to learning a specific coding language with an idea of application makes it your objective clearer

3. Apply Parkinson’s Law: the law says that the longer you give yourself to learn a new skill, the more work you’ll end up doing to acquire the skill. At the same time, the opposite is true. The less time you give yourself to learn a skill, the less work you’ll have to do in order to learn it. So use Parkinson’s Law to your advantage by giving yourself a deadline to learn the new skill.

4. Do Your Research: Find books, YouTube videos, tutorials, online courses, and other available resources about the skill you want to learn. Make sure that you choose high-quality content. Go through your resources in order to help you identify what you need to do to learn the skill. Do not be too bothered about the details at this point, you are just trying to map a mental framework of the process.

5. Practice: Practicing is the only way to learn anything. Sadly, practising can get repetitive and wearisome. That’s why in order to learn a new skill, you need to have discipline and patience.

With a good system in place, learning new skills is not as difficult as it seems. Learning diverse skills will, in the near future, be the only way to grow. People who begin now will future-proof themselves, and have the upper hand.

So why haven’t you started?
No Importa La Distancia
By: Lemon Myrtle
Tags: Self Development, Family, Home

It’s more about my life journal.
Stop Judging Everyone (and Yourself)
By: David Chislett
Tags: Self Development, Ideas, Creativity, Judgement

Stop Judging Everyone (and Yourself)

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

You’ve got a plan, a new idea, something that you feel strongly about. You tell a friend or a colleague and they say, ‘Yes, but…’ and what follows is a long or shortlist of why your idea will never work.

Mostly, people who do this are not trying to be mean or judgemental. But make no mistake, your idea was just judged. Judged and found wanting.

This is the scenario that plays out in countless problem-solving meetings, brainstorms, innovation labs, and living rooms every day. It is human to judge. It is how we figure out what is safe and not, what is known, what is threatening.

Saying BUT kills ideas and new thoughts.

But what is worse than a colleague, friend, or family member saying BUT is when we do it to ourselves

Suspend Your Judgement

You need to learn to turn off your internal critic, monkey mind, devil, whatever you call it. We tend to allow these internal voices free rein because, many many of us, believe that creativity and inspiration are a form of magic: when we have a new idea, that’s it. It’s finished, complete, ready for judgment.

However, all creative thought is incremental. We go from beginning points through stages of development (either in thought or experimentation) until finally, we emerge at the finished article.

As an instant gratification addicted society, we prefer to see all things as always being fully formed. TV programmes like The Shark Tank, Idols, and so on reinforce this notion.

Most ideas weren’t born brilliant. They didn’t start out being amazing and revolutionary, it took hard work and revision to get there.

Say, ‘And…’

Resist the temptation to say BUT and voice misgivings about new ideas. Rather, take a second and say, ‘Yes, AND…’ You will be amazed at what happens.

1) Suddenly tired ideas grow and become more interesting

2) The people you are with become more engaged and enthusiastic

3) The idea seems to get a life of its own and starts shooting all over the place

4) The energy of the room skyrockets

BUT closes things down, AND opens them up.

Mostly, the problem is not a lack of ideas. It’s a lack of tolerance for beginner, baby ideas that need nurturing. The fundamental pivot is to change our internal attitude from judgment to development… What does this idea need to improve it, instead of a list of reasons why this idea will not work.

The Way Things Have Always Been done

Remember that, all too often, the objections we raise to new ideas are simply based on the pattern of the OLD way of doing things. Often, these are invalid and reactionary. If you want to change, you need to resist a predictable, pattern-based reaction to new ideas.

Stop saying BUT, start saying AND and watch your world grow!
Menerima Kelebihan adalah PR yang Lebih Berat dari Menerima Kekurangan
By: Betari Betacerita
Tags: Self Development, Kesehatan Mental, Mental Health, Personal Growth

A mental health enthusiast. A researcher by training, an explorer at heart.
I Should Keep on Writing in Public
By: Bernadette Manaog
Tags: Self Improvement, Writing, Writing Life, Self Development

I Should Keep on Writing in Public

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

Writers write, right? Hahaha… I like how it rhymes.

Until now, I’m not confident to write in public though I already published a few stories here in Medium. I’m re-reading Nicolas Cole book “The Art and Business of Online Writing” and I love what he said:

“Practicing In Public is what separates aspiring writers from professional writers.” — Nicholas Cole

The reason I’m here in Medium is that I wanted to practice and improve my writing skills. I wanted to boost my confidence to write in public. Of course, I also want to earn online as a writer. I don’t have a chance yet to join Medium Partner Program because it’s not available here in the United Arab Emirates.

Every day I’m writing in my journal, but there’s an urge feeling that I should write in public. I need criticism, good or bad take it because it will help me to become a better writer.

And now I’m writing this story because I’m scratching my itch to write. I don’t have any idea what to say, but here I am typing on my keyboard because I’m stepping out of my comfort zone.

I keep on telling myself, I don’t mind if someone will read my published stories or not. The truth is, I care. I was thinking about what my future reader will think of my works. Will it add value to them? Or just another meh?

Anyway, what I really wanted now is to overcome my fear of writing in public. Because I can’t be a real writer if I’m not writing often, hiding my works, and give in to my fears.

“Consistency is what kept me growing, growing, growing.” — Nicolas Cole

I should consistently publish new stories at least twice a week (for starter). Maybe it might be uncomfortable for a while because I don’t know what topic or story to tell. Regular practice will gain confidence and less self-doubt.

It feels great whenever I click the “publish” button and sharing my works to the world.
10 Personal Development Goals for a better version of you (Self-Improvement)
By: Steph Up
Tags: Self-awareness, Self Improvement, Goals, Personal Development, Self Development

canva.com user-edited photo

Setting goals will give you a sense of purpose in life to focus your time and energy on what’s really important and in turn, will help you become a better version of yourself. The Goals that you set and develop also helps you create the life that you want and be able to live with ease because the more you are developing skills (even the most basic and necessary ones), the more you are helping yourself to grow, learn and of course improve.

The question remains, why does Personal Development have anything to do with Setting Goals?

Well, because personal development is defined as activities that improve awareness, identity, talents, and potential. It is basically about improving oneself and enhancing the quality of life, as well as helping a person to realize and act on their dreams and aspirations. So when you set goals, you are encouraging yourself to work on your personal improvement and develop skills that are essential for success to happen.

Having said that, I listed below the 10 most necessary personal development goals that will be beneficial for self-improvement and in turn will be fruitful in your future successes.

canva.com user-edited photo

1. Wake up early in the Morning — Develop a habit of getting up early because studies show that early risers tend to be much happier, healthier, and more productive than those who wake up late. According to a discovery by Harvard biologist ‘Christopher Randler’ that Early risers have a proactive mindset which leads to an increase in productivity and the ability to anticipate problems and minimize them efficiently which often benefits a person’s success
3 TIPS MEMBELI PAKAIAN PRELOVED AGAR SEPERTI BARU
By: Your Own Author
Tags: Financial Planning, Fashion Item, Preloved, Self Development, Fashion

Hello, fellas! This is me sharing my interest about finance and islamic stuff. And also, i’m interested in minimalis and travelling all around the world. Enjoy!
10 วิธีในการแสดงออกเมื่อไม่เห็นด้วยกับคนที่มีตำแหน่งสูงกว่า
By: Teerawat Namsricharoensuk
Tags: Self Development, Hbr, Conflict

Thanks an original article: How to Disagree with Someone More Powerful than You — Amy Gallo
10 Key Learnings From 1+ Year of Daily Journaling
By: Nic Bloom
Tags: Self-awareness, Self Reflection, Journaling, Journaling Benefits, Self Development

10 Key Learnings From 1+ Year of Daily Journaling

Image by Culture Crusaders

Realistically, I thought I’d give up on my half-arsed experiment of journaling after a week or so.

Surprisingly though, it evolved into a sacred practice of self-development — one I plan to maintain for a long time.

As I discussed in Developing A Morning Routine, the outpouring of thoughts empty my mind, stabilise my body and platform me into the day ahead.

I find writing in a journal enhances my state of being and state of mind, making me less hypocritical and avoidant, whilst cultivating greater self-awareness.

My man Mark Manson talks about how journaling “help(s) us convert what is usually the subject of our consciousness into the object of our consciousness” and how it is a tool “for building self-awareness and chipping away at the ego”.

Similar to how the often eyes-closed practice of meditation impacts one’s eyes-open experience, holding up a mirror to the truth of my inner world brings about growth and transformation in my outer world.

Now, I know journaling won’t appeal to everybody. Whether you have little interest (but enough to have read this far), some curiosity, or you’re very keen to explore, I’d like to sell you on this idea as it’s been so bloody good for me.

I’ll preface my pitch with a short story…

Last time I saw the dentist, they said it would be ideal if I come back in 6 months instead of 12. They’re probably right. I also think most health care practitioners would have a similar approach in (mostly) good faith. It doesn’t mean I’ll do it though. I must weigh up the value proposition of time, money and energy, and a line has to be drawn on these resources at some point.

*I met them in the middle and we’ll be getting reacquainted in 9 months. Reasonable, huh?

Anyway, the point is I could recommend plenty of useful techniques (meditation, exercise, reading, mindful eating, turning off app notifications, etc.) but I can’t resist journaling due to the value proposition it offers me.

Bang for buck, journaling is at the top of my self-development tree, so I hope this low-effort and high-impact tool is a branch you consider on your tree of tools.

For context — before I get into my best journaling takeaways — my simple practice consists of writing five things in the morning: 3x grateful, yesterday I was proud, yesterday’s learning, today I release and today I’m excited, and one thing to wrap my day in the evening: 3x went well.

Image by Fabulous Magazine

I’ve learned and re-learned plenty about myself, other people and the world, so in an attempt to synthesise it, here are my 10 key learnings from daily journaling.
5 Hal Tentang Personal Branding yang Orang Sering Salah Kira
Tags: Careers, Podcast Indonesia, Personal Branding, Inspigo, Self Development

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
Feeling Stuck…
Tags: Reflections, Self Development, Stagnation, Improvement

Unsplash

With a simple web search, we can find that stagnation means “the state of not moving or flowing.” Which I don’t think applies to everyone at all. Every year — probably even every day —everyone is facing something new in their life.

Biologically, everyone is getting older hence everyone is living life with a different body. While by the situation, everyone is facing the ups and downs in their life — especially 2020 where “The VID” happened.

Yet despite such differences feeling “stuck” happened. And for me, it just grew stronger.

For me, it just grew stronger

Different year, different birthday, yet the same feeling… stagnation. (Probably I could add loneliness to the equation, but let’s save it for later.)

And in 2020 this feeling of stagnation is the strongest I’ve ever felt. I don’t feel like I’m growing, I feel like I’m doing the same-old-same-old and I felt there is nothing new in my life this year.

Obviously, when stagnation hits I felt the notorious “I hate myself” thoughts and emotions. And I believe you, dear reader, that this kind of feeling is a familiar thing to you.

— I say this not in a bad way, rather I want to tell you that you are not alone and a simple Google search will yield more than 12mn results discussing “the feeling of stagnation.” —

Furthermore, the feeling of stagnation makes me see my life as a simple repetition which leads to the creation of the belief that “It is highly likely I am going to die with tons of regrets for not being able to enjoy what life has to offer.” Robin Sharma says it well: “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

So, how do I handle this?

To handle the “feeling of stagnation” I am making end of year (EoY) presentation or “deck.” This is to ensure I am thoroughly and objectively assess my 2020 and compares it with my 2019. I believe this is a good enough solution.

And I think you should try it.
Understanding what I want and why I want that
By: Sey Kuo
Tags: Motivation, Self Improvement, Goals, Self Development, Clarity

The clarity in goals helps to keep the commitment and stick to doing things every single day. The best way I’ve found to get clarity is as follows:

Scratch a plan

Just enough to start doing just something practical.

Start actually doing something

At the first glance, it may seem foolish to try completing random steps without having an idea of a complete picture. However, the point is to clarify our motivation this way, rather than to achieve the goal.

When we start putting effort, our mind naturally asks itself — why am I doing that? Why do I need to do that? Maybe let’s just do something else?

Answering those questions should take a little to no time. If we shut ourselves up, saying we are lazy and need to just focus on the task, then it indicates a lack of clarity. What should happen instead is us answered this question a million time either takes a very little time to remind us of our answers or the questions stop appearing.

But now we might have a fair question — so the final is clear, but how to better find answers to these questions in the first place.

In the very beginning, we should answer the questions:

What do I want to do right now? What do I think I should want to do right now? Why do I think I should do it? Why do I think I shouldn’t do it?

Surprisingly for the first time, the reasons why you think you shouldn’t do it could actually make more sense! And we are not necessarily lazy, bad people.

The science

Folks say our mind is looking for the most benefits with the least effort. And that makes a lot of sense if you think about it.

The caveat here is that our mind is naturally inclined to prefer immediate benefits over future successes. But many masters of their fields say that it changes after accomplishing multiple long-term goals.

The satisfaction of finally getting things done in the way we want them to be done becomes so high, that momental pleasure does not interest us anymore.

Having a great clarify is impossible to overestimate and to know the easiest way to do that was once a great discovery for me. I’m really curious to know how you people approach this topic, which is why I’ve shared mine.

(Write comments, we want to read them!)
The crisis in male friendships
By: Bulcha, The Charismatic Nerd
Tags: Self Improvement, Confidence, Inspiration, Life Lessons, Self Development

Yesterday I read an article in the Washington Post about male friendships.

More specifically, the crisis that COVID has caused in male friendships.

Before COVID, most guys’ friendships revolved around sports and bars. Hardly a recipe for fulfilling relationships.

Anyways, with COVID yanking sports gatherings and bars, many men were just realizing that their friendships were very shallow.

And a lot of guys realizing this are in their 30’s, 40’s, and even 50's.

With COVID, a lot of these men are wanting more honest, vulnerable, and fulfilling friendships.

There is nothing wrong with that, but I got a bone to pick.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

How can any of those guys expect to have that type of friendship, when they can’t even be honest, vulnerable, and fulfilling by themselves.

The issue I have here is that these men are looking for an external solution.

Like I always unnecessarily preach, how you deal with yourself internally, is how you deal with the external world.

If you can’t be honest with yourself, how you can expect to be so with others?

Instead of focusing on finding friends who accept you as you are, why not accept yourself?

Or, instead of finding great friends, why not be a great friend yourself?

I am not trying to be a dick, but a lot of these men have to accept the responsibility of exuding the traits they want in friendships.

This lesson is repeated so many times in romantic comedies (that I am forced to watch against my own will). Where a girl is trying to find a man, only to realize that she can’t have a great relationship until she is happy being by herself.

I understand that life is not easy.

But we don’t make it easier when we don’t accept our responsibility to improve it.

And for all those men realizing their friendships are hallow, I hope they realize their responsibility.

(If you enjoyed this short article, then click here to join my email list where you get a daily boost of confidence every morning plus the free Self-Improvement Cheat Sheet for Nerds.)
Challenge 2:. Challenge 2: Wireframing
By: Francesca Foiadelli
Tags: Wireframing, Ironhack, Prototyping, Ironhack Prework, Figma

Wireframing

For this challenge we have to create a wireframe user flow of an app that we like or use. In this case, I chose one of my favorite apps called Calm. Calm promises to help users sleep better, boost confidence and reduce stress and anxiety; all with the help of guided meditations, soothing music, and bedtime stories. Calm produces meditation products, including guided meditations, books, narrated sleep stories, and health and meditation videos. I like it very much because it has helped me in moments of stress and has a lot of content. It is also very well organized. I admire the UX of this application and the ease and order in which I can interact with it.

Calm is an excellent example of how to design an application in a simple and practical way with high levels of content.

Calm is an excellent example of how to design an application in a simple and practical way with high levels of content. For this exercise I will work with Figma as it is the tool I am most comfortable with Figma is an incredibly powerful tool and I am still in the process of learning it.

Prototyping can be a lot of fun and also a little confusing. I think it is very important to keep a strict order of operations and do everything step by step. In this process I will focus on the basic analysis of Calm’s Toolbar.

Before I start, I need to select the screens that I’m going to work with. Then I can start designing the wireframes in Figma. These are screenshots of the screens I want to work with:
Medi’tater
By: Totale Realname
Tags: Ssd1306, Meditation, Prototyping, Arduino, Sla Printing

I wanted a device I could sync my breathing to while I meditated, but I didnt want it to be a distraction. I wanted it to feel natural but not have any curves, straight lines only. I also wanted it be able to fit in my palm or between my toes. I thought about it for a few weeks, went though a few iterations, and came up with this…

Medi’tater: A potato for your breath

Box breathing, but I prefer 8 seconds.

First, before we get into the nifty hardware and firmware details, lets talk about breathing techniques and why they are useful. I like to meditate three times a day, each session is 10minutes, and throughout each session I practice an 8 second square breathing technique. These 10 minute sessions help me reset, conceptualize things from different perspectives, and escape negativity.
«‎Тренер Pro» — разработка веб-сервиса поиска фитнес-тренера
By: Zyong Tomas
Tags: UX Design, Marketing, Prototyping, UI, UX

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
Проектирование веб-сервиса по поиску путешествий
Tags: Prototyping, UX, UX Design

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
Challenge 1: Design Thinking
By: Miquel Delaurens
Tags: Prototyping, Ironhack, Exercice

The company:

UrbanGo is a public transit and mapping app based in Silicon Valley. Their goal is to solve the problems of urban mobility by offering the quickest and cheapest public and private transport routes. This app enables users to plan their route using mapping. The user has the option of choosing the mode of transport, this added to the distance of the journey calculates how much it will cost.

The Problem:

When a user moves in public transport around the city often has to take different types of transportation, sometimes this means buying different tickets in vending machines or other places, this becomes a big effort and is also time consuming. Imagine this user in a different city facing the same problems, this would be a nightmare.

During the interviews I found another problem. Some of my users complained about making to many connections during the same trip, they also said they would prefer to be a bit late and make more connections in the same transport avoiding jumping from train to metro and back, this way they feel the trip less inconvenient and relax.

The main part of the users said they don’t mind to write their bank information in the App once, but they don’t want to be asked for it every time, so the information should be in the profile, and the App should never ask for this anymore.

The Solution:

When we take a trip from A to B the App already show us the number of connections, the time this would take, the price, and many other details.

For solving the multi ticket issue, my idea would be to separate inside the App as many tickets the user needs and show them in the shape of e-tickets with the trip info, the username, and a QR code to be scanned if needed.

In the second problem I had the solution of separate each route in three categories, I named them this way:

Quick: The App shows you the fastest way to arrive from one point to another.

Comfort: This mode gives the user less connections and avoids as much as possible changing transportation methods.

Economy: Prioritize the money in front of everything.

For the payment method the App must have the credit card information linked to each profile, this way the App would make the electronic payments to the transportation companies.

The Prototype:
Making a game in Axure: Space Invaders
By: Prototyping Mindset
Tags: Prototyping, Axure, UX, UX Design

How I built it

Assets (Aliens, user and bullets)

I just sliced all assets from an image I found online (slice image by right clicking on it or use CMD-^ on Mac).

I name the bullet i_bullet and the aliens i_alien (prefix i_ because they are images). I create a dynamic panel for the user, named dyn_user and add pin to browser with bottom, center, 20, 0 . This way the user always starts out in the middle of the browser window in the bottom of the screen.

I’ve grouped the aliens into g_aliens and added two labels to the page: l_score (showing the score) and l_message (for ‘you won’ or ‘you lost’).

Lastly I create three variables: score , numAliens (amount of aliens left), playingGame (whether the came is running (value: 1 ), or it’s over ( 0 )).

Moving the user and firing a bullet

We’re moving the user by capturing keypresses on the page. For going left: properties › Interactions › More Events › OnPageKeyDown and adding a case key pressed equals Left , move the dyn_user left by 10 pixels.

We will use the z -key for firing, because the space -bar has a special usecase in browsers: scrolling the page. When the z -key is pressed, we move the i_bullet to the same position as the user.

The main loop

Our game will work with a main loop (a repeating ‘function’). In every loop we will:

move the aliens down

move the bullet up

update the score

check if an alien was shot

check if the user lost or won

This is the part where the magic happens. I’ve added the main-loop to the page-interactions, but in hindsight it might be better to create a separate object for it (a dyn_mainloop for instance). We can move this object off-screen to make sure no-one accidentally interacts with it.

The trick is that the mainloop is inside an interaction people don’t use that much, the OnPageContextMenu . In this interaction we have a couple of cases:

if playingGame is 1

move g_aliens by 10 pixels down

move i_bullet by 20 pixels up

score + 10

set l_score to score

wait 200ms if g_aliens.y is more than dyn_user.y

playingGame = 0

set text on l_message to "you lost" if numAliens is 0

playingGame = 0

set text on l_message to "you won"

As you can see, the bullet is always moving, even after it hit an alien or when it’s off-screen.

I start the game as soon as the page is loaded by adding a fire OnPageContextMenu on Page to the interaction OnPageLoad .

How to kill an alien

First “alien-kill-detection” was in the main game loop, but there I had to add it separately for every alien. With three aliens that was doable, but I want to have an army 😂 And besides that, I want different aliens do different things!

My fix? I put each alien inside it’s own dynamic panel. In the onMove of the dynamic panel I added the detection for being shot. Axure is kind enough to trigger the onMove also when the element is inside a group that moves, so I didn’t have to do anything else!

If this all sounds like gibberish to you: download the Axure file and play around with it a bit!
Navigating complex prototypes in Figma
By: Can Aslan
Tags: UI Design, Prototyping, UX, Figma, Resources

Navigating complex prototypes in Figma

When committed to creating detailed prototypes in Figma, things can easily get messy, especially if you have all your frames within the same file. While I was designing a complex web app for managing annual salary reviews, I avoided this problem thanks to user stories.

70% of the design file

User story is a key component of agile software development, because agile puts people first, and a user story puts end users at the center of the conversation. This is why user stories had already had their place in the project documentation as I started prototyping.

The structure is pretty simple and straightforward. I created one prototype flow for each low-level user story. Then, to navigate between the stories, I created a landing page with a list of stories that are linked to individual flows. As the number of flows and users increased, a higher level landing page was added. After we headed for development, some edge cases emerged and to address, I dedicated a section to cover these cases.
✍🏼 ว่ากันด้วยเรื่องโปรโตไทป์
Tags: Prototyping, Meetings, Product Management

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore