I am a Christian, I am a skeptic
By: Terry R Blankenship
Tags: Doubt And Faith, Doubts And Fears, Christianity, Faith, Christian

I was born a skeptic.

Didn’t ask for it … just happened.

I questioned everything … didn’t matter what it was, I questioned it. Questions would fly out of me as fast as bullets would fly out of the hot barrel of a frenzied machine gun.

This questioning of everything was in my nature and I, quite frankly, found it to be helpful as I moved through life. I became a varsity debater in the eighth grade due to this quality.

Herein lies the rub … I became a Christian at age 18.

It was a wonderful, real and transformational experience for me.

However I immediately became associated with a group of believers (in Nashville) who did something that I felt was intuitively wrong … they discouraged me from questioning anything … read that again … ANYTHING … about my new faith or the Bible. To question was to fall away from the faith.

Well, I felt then as I feel now … you grow as you question.

You see, when you seek truth, you grow. When you seek truth, you question.

When you are afraid, you seek nothing. Too risky.

When you are afraid, you shrink.

I have always felt Christianity was industrial-strength enough to handle anything we can throw at it. We have not stepped into a fragile faith.

Do I have all the answers?

No.

But not even my most acid-test questions have shaken my faith in the least.

Here’s an example: I have never heard a good explanation of the Trinity. Oh, I have heard all the traditional explanations — water exists in three states, ice, water and steam yet it is one — I am a son, a husband and a father, yet I am one, etc etc.

None ring true with me. It feels like it is essentially unexplainable but we cannot just say that so we invent metaphors to try to take us into the land of understanding when, sadly, such a land may not exist for some attributes of God.

So do I believe in the Trinity? Most assuredly … I just cannot explain it. And I am ok with that. Paul writes in 1st Corinthians about ‘seeing through a glass darkly but then face to face’. To me that means that only partial understanding is available to us while we are on the earth.

That sets the stage for questions … at least in my mind. And some of our questions are of such a transcendent nature that they just are not going to be answered with anything other than saying I don’t know.

Which brings me back to doubt.

If you find yourself doubting the essentials of the Christian faith, don’t freak out. Because we are not equipped to explain every single thing about our faith, having bouts of doubt is normal. Enduring storms of weak faith is part and parcel of our Christian journey.

John the Baptist rode out the storms of doubt. And Jesus held him in particularly high esteem.

Thomas, our most famous of doubters, was not voted off the island by Jesus, who had every opportunity to do so.

Doubt has caused many Christians to fall away because, rather than ride out the storm, they toss their faith overboard.

I say ride out the storm. It is normal. If you feel Christianity is all a big joke or all some sort of collective wishful thinking, just hang on. The Holy Spirit will help you get through it.

So here’s the Christian defense of doubt … it is part of the terrain we must traverse. It is part of the jungle we must hack our way through while on earth. Never put a fellow-believer down who is struggling with doubt.

And never chase the non-believer away who dares to ask the tough questions.