The Verb Creates The Noun
By: Bryan Hendley
Tags: Fear, Practice, Growth, Personal Development, Action

The Verb Creates The Noun

Photo by Kid Circus on Unsplash

Verbs, verbs, action words, tell you what to do…

Years and years ago, while teaching elementary school, one of the other grade levels, during their yearly musical, sang this song and I still can’t get it out of my head. Interestingly, this is the only part I can remember. Oh, they also sang a song that was tuned to Rhianna’s Umbrella, but I can’t remember how that tied into first grade Language Arts standards.

Recently I’ve been reminded about the importance of the verbs in our lives leading the way to the nouns that we want to become. The challenge, for many of us, at different times along the journey, is that we want the noun, without the verb. Or, we want the verb to be easy.

But the verb creates the noun.

You have to do the work if you want to become the thing

We like to hide behind the facade that we don’t know what to do. “If we only knew what to do, we would do it.” But that’s a lie, and we lie the most, and the best, when we lie to ourselves. We aren’t hard to fool when we are the ones both doing the fooling and being fooled.

We know what needs to be done, at least on a fundamental level. We convince ourselves that the minutiae are too confusing or too challenging for us to figure out. So we hide behind our phony uncertainty.

We are uncertain, but not about the things we pretend about. What we are most uncertain about, at least as it relates to taking action, is not the details. Two uncertainties get in the way of our actions, which then keep us from becoming the nouns that we say we want to become.

We are uncertain that it will work

We want to know that our efforts will lead to what we want. We want assurances, guarantees. Before we sign on the dotted line to agree to do the work, we’d our boss, our potential customers, our fans, or the universe to sign off that the work will produce the results we desire. We want to know that people will like it, that people will pay for it, that the rewards will match the effort.

But it doesn’t work like that. The verb comes first, then the noun. Maybe.

For many, this maybe, this non-guarantee, is the beginning and the end of their efforts. Without this assurance, they refuse to begin, because, what’s the point if they can’t be sure they will succeed?

Some understand, although it’s a difficult lesson to learn and live by, that the non-guarantee of the noun is not a deal-breaker, and in fact, can be full of blessings, learning, and improvement.

But for many, this is the beginning and the end. We are unwilling to not only say, but also live into, “This might not work” (Seth Godin) and continue anyway.

We are uncertain in ourselves

For some of us, some times, a guarantee of success might not even be enough to convince us to take action, because we convince ourselves that, “Yes, this might work, but not for someone like me.” We don’t believe that WE can do it.

That type of success is for someone else. Their conditions were different than ours. Their skillset is better than ours. They are luckier than we are.

Or, how about one of these:

I’m not good enough. I’m not ready. Who am I to tell other people how to ___? I don’t know if I can ___. The last time I tried this it didn’t work, maybe I’m not cut out for this.

Pick one. In truth, you won’t need to pick one of mine, because you already have at least one of your own that you’ve heard before. Hopefully, you’ve learned not to listen.

The best-case scenario is that we’ve taken action at the beginning, learned a skill, worked on our craft, and then stopped when the time came to take the next big step. This is the best case because at least we’ve learned something. At least we’ve practiced. We can take something away from the experience even if we allowed the uncertainties to stop us from going all the way.

The worst case is that we start these conversations with ourselves at the very beginning of the journey (which is normal), and then we listen to them. We don’t put up a fight. We don’t tell the gremlins, “Thanks for being here, I appreciate the job that you have to do, but I’ll take it from here.” We give them the floor and allow them to speak and we listen. Doing so prevents us from taking any action. The lessons we learn are not edifying but now serve as another obstacle for the next time; a reminder that we are soft, that we can’t do it, that the gremlins are right.

It’s All In The Verbs

We must, if we truly want to become the noun that we say we do, go through the verb. The thing, the title, the position, whatever it is, will not come to fruition through thought, or hope, or visualization. None of which are bad, but these things alone will not get the job done. They are another hiding place for our fears, doubts, and negativity when we allow them to live on their own.

We have to DO.

If we want to be a writer we have to write. If we want to be an actor we have to act. If we want to be a coach we have to coach. If we want to be a photographer we have to take photographs. If we want to be a doctor we have to doct. Okay, they don’t all work, but you understand, right? Of course. We have to DO the things that lead to or are associate with the person we want to become.

Recently I was working with a group of high school students through one of my frameworks, and I was reminded of the importance of action, of doing. We talked about the type of people they wanted to become, and the types of lives they wanted to have. There were some great examples:

I want to be known as someone who is kind, and who leaves a positive impression.

I want to be in loving relationships.

Smiling and bringing joy is my superpower.

These were just a few. But the conversation then led into how we get there, and as we know, but so often refuse to accept, the path is simple. Just DO the thing. If you want to be a kind person who leaves a positive impression, start being kind. If you want to live in loving relationships, start being in and being a part of loving relationships. If you want to feed your superpower, start simply, by smiling at everyone you meet.

Writing it down, dreaming about it, talking about what you want or what you’ll do one day is cheap and easy. In the DOING, that’s where the magic happens. That’s where you fall, and get back up, and learn, and if things go well, that’s where you become the thing that your hopes and dreams only hoped and dreamt about.

Verbs, verbs, action words, tell you what to do…

I’m pulling for you,

Bryan