How it Feels When the Dead Come Knocking
By: Kristi Keller
Tags: Spirituality, This Happened To Me, Signs, Grief And Loss, Hope

It has become apparent that I don’t come back from the dead as well as the real dead do it. The real dead have finesse. They’re creative and bold in their ways, and they make damn sure they’re being noticed.

I’ve been absent from writing for months now, mostly because I’ve been as blank as an erased chalk board in an empty classroom. The state of “Blank” is the number one side effect of losing an only child.

But I’m coming around the bend a little now because I have to. And because I’m being relentlessly prodded by this kid who obviously took a deal we made very seriously.

When my son was alive we had an intense mother-son bond that I believe was stronger than most. I should have known our bond couldn’t be weakened by something as minuscule as an alternate universe.

Many years ago we’d made a deal that whichever one of us crossed over first had to come back and haunt the other one. Of course the conversation was purely farcical because neither one of us wanted the other to die, but we made the pact anyway and we had a good laugh over it.

Curtis told me that if he were to come back and haunt me, he’d do it by writing messages in my steamy bathroom mirror. I live alone so I’ve never closed the bathroom door to allow steam to build up from a shower. But believe me, I’ve started closing the door since he’s been gone…just in case.

So far he hasn’t written anything on my mirror but he has shown that his creativity knows no bounds from over yonder, in his other realm.

I’ve always believed that physical death can’t possibly be the end of us but I haven’t necessarily been convinced that spirits could be so bold.

Now I’m here to testify.

My story of finding and inheriting a mystery Mercedes Benz pales in comparison to occurrences that have since happened. The car could have been blind luck coupled with my own determination.

But if the following things hadn’t happened I still might not be convinced that spirits are indeed alive and well, and they are among us.

Flickering Lights

Of course this could be the result of faulty electrical systems, duh. But when it occurs where it never has before, and when it follows you to different locations you start to take notice.

The first flickering light was in my mother’s kitchen. She’s lived in the same house for eighteen years but it only began after he left us. My mother and son had a very close relationship and the loss is just as much hers as it is mine.

Now, the pot light in her kitchen flickers on and off nearly every day, particularly when she mentions his name. Often my mother notices our dog Dezi’s attention glued to the light. She can’t be torn away from it.

Sure, we could chalk it up to coincidence…until the flickering started following us.

A couple of weeks ago my mother and I decided to do a road trip to the mountains. It was our first opportunity to retreat and decompress since our loss, so I booked an AirBnB, packed up my son’s urn and went on a family getaway. Don’t judge — I’m not the only mother who travels with her child’s remains.

I set up his urn on the fireplace mantle in the AirBnB and kept a candle lit beside it each day we were there.

No word of a lie, every single morning I’d sit quietly reading and sipping morning coffee by lamplight, and I’ll be damned if that lamp didn’t flicker three times each morning.

“I Love You” are the first three words that came to mind.

To be sure I wasn’t losing my mind I checked the plug in the outlet and checked to see if the bulb needed tightening. Both were fine. I knew he was there.

And lastly, late the other night I received a text from one of his longtime best friends. It was a video clip of the ceiling fan above her bed and the light in the center of it was flickering. She told me it’s never happened before.

The Dream

This is by far the most compelling occurrence and it was the first time I believed with unshakable conviction that it was my son. Why? Because he named a person and relayed specific details only she could have known.

In this dream he wasn’t physically present. I couldn’t see him but I felt he was present and actively communicating with me. He didn’t speak words but he guided my hand in writing a message on paper in front of me.

As clear as day the message read, “Tell Kylah the light around me is blue.”

Kylah is his best friend since childhood and the two of them remained thick as thieves into their adult lives.

When I woke in the morning I wasn’t sure what any of it meant but to honor my son’s wishes, I relayed the message to Kylah sort of like this:

“I don’t know if this will mean anything to you. Maybe I’m just a crazy mom who can’t let go but I thought I’d let you know that Curtis told me to tell you that the light around him is blue.”

While I waited for her reply I decided to Google ‘blue angel light’ and found that it represents the Archangel Michael and is a sign of guidance and protection.

Kylah eventually messaged me back in full blown tears. She told me she had been meditating every night since he left, sending out affirmations for his safe and guided transition.

She’d been doing her meditations while holding an Archangel Michael crystal.

Some things can be construed as coincidence but I think it’s fair to say that when it involves clear and direct messages with information that only the other person could know, it’s far more than just coincidence.

Canine Intuition

I adopted my puppy at the beginning of Covid. My son was over the moon that I’d decided to bring some new canine love into the family and each morning while walking Dezi, Curtis and I would video chat so he could watch our puppy grow and play.

He lived in a different city and was so excited to come home this Christmas to meet Dezi — an event that will never come to fruition.

One late night recently, Dezi was at my mom’s house. My mom had gone to bed and Dezi was settled in for the night, when suddenly she sprung up, went to the front door and began woofing as if someone was there.

The woofing woke my mom and got her attention. She went to the front door and could see out the window that no one was there. But what she did notice is that she had forgotten to lock the door.

How did Dezi know? She’s just a puppy!

She couldn’t have known without some protective guidance from a force stronger than her own instincts.

Random Little Things

Whether it be a champagne glass tumbling from a shelf and landing upright in one piece, blinds rattling when there’s no open window, or a cloud in the shape of a dove that no one else notices, all of these events could be construed as random coincidences.

And yes, all of these have happened to me in the last two months. Here’s the dove to prove it.