Read This If You Think You’re An INFJ
By: Kris Gage
Tags: Happiness, Love, Self-awareness, Personal Growth, Mbti

INFJ is one of the most frequently-mistyped Myers Briggs (MBTI) types, making it highly misrepresented and warped in pretty much everything you read online.

But most “INFJs” are actually ISFJ, ISFP or INFP.

Why does this matter?

1. Language integrity.

It matters for the same reason that we all have the same word for and understanding of “dog,” for example.

If we don’t all agree on what a word means — if people said “dog” when they were really talking about a bird — the conversation has no validity. This is even more critical if someone is Googling how to fix their “dog” (which is actually a bird) and end up feeding it dog food, playing fetch, or giving it St. Bernard-level amounts of insulin (see 2: “self-growth.”)

So many mistyped “INFJs” produce posts, articles and memes that most of the information on “INFJ” online is complete garbage that’s warped the description. So if you Google “dog” (INFJ) now, all of the descriptions read something like “has feathers, beak, wings” (i.e., describing other types), leaving no word for “has fur, four legs, barks” (actual INFJs.)

2. Self-growth

If you’re truly using MBTI for growth, it’s even more important that you’re accurately typed, as different types have different red flags and growth paths, and one types growth path is another type’s unhealthy place

“I took a test and got INFJ”

1.) The tests are almost always wrong.

I’ve taken Buzzfeed tests that told me I am a horse, an essential oil, and the season summer. And I know that these are meant to be a joke, but the point is: don’t believe everything you read online — even when it’s a quiz result.

2.) We are biased and poor at self-awareness. So we answer as our “idealized” selves, or put what we think is “right.” (Who isn’t going to answer “yes” to “logical” and “able to think outside the box?”)

Most “INFJs” are actually ISFJ, ISFP or INFP

But they’re easily confused for each other… which makes sense — because they’re all introverted, they’re all “feelers,” they have similar concerns.

But these are very different types.

QUESTIONS

Here are some things to consider…

How important is clarity, detail, and black & white information to you?

How important is support, consistency, structure, and security?

How important are your feelings, self-identity, self-expression?

How important are new ideas, novelty, and experimentation to you?

How do the happiest times of your life look?

How do the lowest times of your life look? (Specifically: what do you do?)

How do you “lash out” when desperate? (And what feeling causes that?)

What is your biggest concern or “life struggle?”

What’s your greatest aspiration? And greatest anxiety?

Why did you break up with your exes?

How weird are you?

These types are not “just one or two letters apart”

Most of us learn Myers Briggs as four sets of letters: extraverted vs introverted (E vs I), intuitive vs sensing (N vs S), thinking vs feeling (T vs F) and judging vs perceiving (J vs P.)

But in reality, the types are categorized by “cognitive functions,” which orient Sensing, Intuition, Feeling, and Thinking as extroverted or introverted (E vs I.)

These are defined as:

Introverted sensing (Si)

Extroverted sensing (Se)

Extroverted intuition (Ne)

Introverted intuition (Ni)

Extroverted feeling (Fe)

Introverted feeling (Fi)

Extroverted thinking (Te)

Introverted thinking (Ti)

And each type has a different “stack” of these “functions.”

INFP is… Fi — Ne — Si — Te

ISFP is… Fi — Se — Ni — Te

ISFJ is… Si — Fe — Ti — Ne

INFJ is… Ni — Fe — Ti — Se

Reasons for the confusion between them:

We assume being “analytical” makes us N or T (it doesn’t) We assume being “intuitive” or having “gut feelings” / “a ha moments” makes us an N (it doesn’t. Everyone has these.) We assume being a perfectionist or detailed makes us J (it doesn’t) We assume being unique makes us the rarest type We aren’t familiar with cognitive functions (see above) We are often blind to our first (aka “dominant”) function, and it’s so fundamental that we often underestimate how overpowering it is We are often blind to and don’t truly understand the cognitive functions that we don’t use a lot Introverted intuition (Ni), the dominant function of INFJ, is very difficult to define. (Which is totally meta, because Ni is the process of defining things that are difficult to define.) But because of this, it’s susceptible to others rushing in to claim it.

It’s almost easier to see Ni as what it isn’t.

Introverted intuition is not: our feelings, others’ feelings, certainty, action, ideas, or goals. It’s not even “logic” or “planning for the future.”

It’s just… what’s “left.” It’s white noise, white space, an ever-funneling toward “the one, abstract thing” — that can look and feel a lot like “nothing.”

Let’s explore each pair in detail.

INFJ vs INFP

Similarities:

Both are private. Both are idealists. Both can be perfectionists. Both are insightful, analytical, logical, and meticulous. And both are intuitives, preferring the abstract over black and white.

The biggest difference?

INFP is highly in tune with their own feelings

INFJ is usually oblivious to theirs

INFP’s dominant function is Fi (their own feelings), but INFJ doesn’t even have Fi in their stack. (Same for ISFJ.) Instead, their “F” is extroverted (Fe) — which is other people.

INFP has ever-expanding ideas …inspired by feelings

INFJ has ever-narrowing “insights” … about people

i.e., these are INFP not INFJ: