Social Solidarity Circle: the Power of Bearing Witness
By: Gemma Jiang
Tags: Theory U, Stories From The Field, Covid 19, Social, Solidarity

Intentional Social Spaces Series #1

Social Solidarity Circle: the Power of Bearing Witness

My personal reflections after hosting 16 weekly circles during COVID-19

Coaching circle is my favorite method in the Theory U universe. So when social solidarity circle came along as part of the GAIA journey, Presencing Institute’s rapid response to COVID-19, I jumped on the band wagon immediately. Between end of March and end of July, 2020, I hosted 16 social solidarity circles altogether. With the new u.lab cycle starting in September, our social solidarity circles merged organically into coaching circles again.

I have many fond memories from the social solidarity circles I was fortunate enough to share with old and new friends. It does not matter the state I entered the circle, invariably every time when I leave, I always feel more energy, and less burdened. There is a physical sensation associated with every emotional state. I always feel physically lighter when I am happy, as if I were ready to fly. Well, that is how I always feel after each circle.

This is my third year in the Theory U community. As I gain more practical experience hosting circles in my personal and professional life, I come to see that a social solidarity circle can be any intentional space where vulnerability is safe and empathy is abundant. It always works because we are wired for connection. When we connect authentically, we form a social field that nourishes everyone involved. There is simply no replacement for genuine human love and compassion. For me, here lies the magic of social solidarity circles.

Social solidarity circle also provided a safe container for personal reflection. In this article, I am going to share my reflections from three dimensions: a personal challenge, a leadership edge, and a response to social imperatives. I would like to summarize these three dimensions as “the power of bearing witness”, inspired by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

Simply bearing witness changes everything. It is the power of naming what is, giving voice to what is, and standing in awareness…without forcing anything to be different, but without recoiling from the witnessing, even in the face of overwhelming physical force, or social coercion, and perhaps one’s own fears as well.

In our circle contexts, for the speaker, we defined “bearing witness” as speaking from the heart whatever feels the most alive at that moment. For the listener, we defined “bearing witness” as listening to understand, staying with the speaker’s experience in its totality, accepting it just the way it is, accompanying the person on a journey deep down the U, and holding up an honest mirror for that person to see his or her current reality. This approach stands in contrast to demonstrating strength as in the speaker’s case, and giving advice as in the listener’s case.

Patience as a Personal Challenge

Patience is a personal challenge I have been struggling with since a young age. As I get older, I have learned to temper the external expression of my impatience, but the internal reactions to the triggers have always been there. I have identified two situations when my patience is particularly challenged: information overload and questions or requests from others unappreciated by me.

As I develop more awareness of my inner processes, I asked this inquiry question at the beginning of one social solidarity circle: How might bearing witness enhance my patience?

I found through my inquiry that bearing witness helps me to lean into the trigger of my impatience, and find personal agency in removing the triggers.

When my eyes see or my ears hear an overload of information, my automatic response mechanism always involves some form of resistance. Instead of staying with the situation, my attention turns to what I expect it to be, or what I do not like about it, or what I need to do about it. But upon the invitation to bear witness, I take a pause, take it all in, stay with it for a moment, see the situation for what it is. Even though the process of “bearing witness” is usually a very short moment, sometimes less than a minute, the effect is magical. I came to recognize that the “trigger” was not external, but internal. It is not the external chaos that is triggering me, but my own internal resistance. The best news is: it is totally within my power to remove the triggers, by taking a moment to bear witness to reality instead of making up stories in my head. Unlike suppressing the expression of impatience, bearing witness removes the root cause of impatience altogether.

I came to recognize that the “trigger” was not external, but internal. It is not the external chaos that is triggering me, but my own internal resistance.

Similarly, when I am presented with a question I believe is not worthy of an answer, my automatic response is also resistance driven. I would either brush the question aside, or ridicule the person who raised the question, or answer it begrudgingly. But as I lean into the question and bear witness to the intention and needs behind it, I find a bridge to build empathy. More often than not, it is my own blindspot, not the nature of the question, that made it appear unworthy. This is an unexpected experience of level three empathetic listening: Listening from the place the other person is speaking from, sensing an emotional connection.

In this instance, the social solidarity circle served as a laboratory for me to experiment with approaches that challenge my deep rooted assumptions. It is a strong container with a special social field that inclines me towards awareness, towards staying open. The circle members’ willingness to bear witness to my inquiry question and the inner journey this question inspired, strengthened me in ways words cannot express.

Harsha Patel, who happened to be present when I raised my inquiry question, shared a poem she had written earlier that day. It was a moment of serendipity. I felt the poem was written for me.

Be Still

Sit with it for a while

Let it flow through you

That which has triggered you

Do not respond

— Observe

It wants to be known

And it will tease you

’til you notice

— Is its nature familiar?

Surely

See, your nature is one

I shall say no more, except

— Be still, my friend.

Leadership Edge

Over the course of the 16 weekly social solidarity circles, I have experienced leadership challenges in my work life constantly. Every social solidarity circle took a snapshot of the challenges. Together they make a beautiful collage from which the path of my growth becomes clear.

In the earlier weeks, I was assembling a new team for a new project. My leadership edge was finding a voice as a leader, especially among people more senior to me. As a young female, I had always been apprehensive about expressing myself. In the United States, the additional racial layer of being an Asian immigrant only complicates it. As I was leading this team of white colleagues, each on average about 20 years older than me, I was challenged many times. As I invite myself to bear witness to the inner responses to the external challenges, I come to see the flawed assumptions with which I see myself and the world. I placed so much emphasis on what society values: age, gender, race, experience, that my inner voice was drowned in the noises. As I gradually “make the darkness conscious”, as in Carl Jung’s term, I found my voice as a leader naturally. That voice comes from answering these two sacred questions: Who is my Self? What is my Work?

That voice comes from answering these two sacred questions: Who is my Self? What is my Work?

My favorite part of the social solidarity circle is the mirroring exercise, where we take a moment to listen to the resonance of the stories from each circle member and share images, feelings, or gestures that came up in the mind and heart and body. One of the circle members had this image: going up the hill in a park, enjoying the view on the way up, anticipating the way down the hill would be less effortful.

This describes my leadership edge so accurately. Only that it is more than one hill.

I did not enjoy the comfort of finding my voice as a leader for long before receiving the invitation to climb the next hill. This time my inquiry question was: how might I listen better so that I can lead better? This question is a response to repeated experience of my voice not being heard, or being met with resistance. Then I realized that “speaking” is only half of the awareness equation. Listening is the other half. Listening into the other parties’ resistance, I am hoping to collect facts I did not know (level 2 factual listening), experience emotions I was not aware of (level 3 empathetic listening), and connect with the highest future potential for me as an individual and for the group (level 4 generative listening). It requires quietening down my own inner chattering, and bearing witness to others’ needs and wants, intentions and aspirations.

Then I realized that “speaking” is only half of the awareness equation. Listening is the other half.

This is my newest leadership edge. I am eager to experience this new adventure.

In Response to Social Unrest

The life of the circle shadows the life of the bigger social environment. In the beginning of the circles when the quarantine just started, the top inquiry question was: how do I work with the unknown. Then in late May, early June, since the global movement for social justice triggered by the killing of George Floyd, the top question became: what can I do?

Again, the circle became a container for me to experiment. My personal inquiry question was: how could I integrate “talking”, “doing” and “being” in my personal life, so that my doing comes from a deep place of being and reflects what I talk about?

The pull to “just do something” is very strong. The easy outlet would be social media. In fact, several of my circle members reported much higher levels of social media engagement. However, my inquiry question led me to a different path.

Bearing witness to the impulse to “just do something”, I discovered a term called “Action Addiction”. Hougaard and Carter (2019) stated that action triggers the dopamine reward system and generates a feel-good message. However, just like alcohol and drugs give you a false sense of courage, action addiction creates an illusion of progress without considering where we are headed and if we actually want to go there.

“Action addiction” reminds me of the inadequacy of “symptomatic solution”. Systems thinking teaches that solutions without full understanding of the systemic dynamics could become part of the problem. Instead, small, well-focused actions can sometimes produce significant, enduring improvements, if they are in the right place.

“Action addiction” reminds me of the inadequacy of “symptomatic solution”.

So then my inquiry question becomes: where is the right place, the leverage point, for me to take action? This question calls for a lifelong inquiry. This question is my personal response to the quest for social justice in the bigger social environment. I have an inkling to the answer, which is around developing capacity for deep social transformation, building containers for social innovation, holding space for systemic solutions.

Conclusion

The social solidarity circles have come to an end, but the insights endure forever. So will the wisdom as an anchor for the circle. Last weekend I applied the wisdom in our family reunion.

As ten of us sat around the fire under the star lit sky, I facilitated the conversation with thoughtful questions such as “share a piece of memory with your loved one”, “give us a peek into your future”, “get curious about each other and ask a question”. It was the best fireside chat we as a family have ever had. The result? We all felt so much closer to each other.

A social solidarity circle is any intentional space where we bear witness to each other’s humanity.

Gemma Jiang is the host of the Pitt u.lab hub, with a focus on children thriving. Interested in joining our community on Mighty Network? Visit our website and click “request to join” at the top right hand corner.