21 Things I Learned in 21 (and Before)
By: Luthfi Akbar
Tags: Balance, Growing Up, Life Lessons, Personal, Storyofmylife

#1: Life has A Funny Way

On my birthday a year ago, December 3rd, 2019, I prayed, “O, God, please give me things that I didn’t know before this year, whether it’s good or bad.” and in fact, so many things happened during my 21st year of age. Some things were so good, while the other things were not. Some other things even ‘qualified’ to be labeled good or bad. As my belief in life, I believe that everything in life is inside a spectrum. You will never know whether a thing is good or bad at that moment. You need to wait and to see it longer and in a broader sense.

I actually started to had that belief years ago when I saw a quote that said, “You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” which I keep believing for more than 7 years now. And on my journey in life, I jumped into an exciting story I heard from a TED talk by Heather Lanier. She told the story of an ancient parable (in which you have heard or read about this before) about a farmer and his neighbors.

The story of the farmer started when he lost his horse, then his neighbors came and said, “Oh, that’s too bad.” And he said, “Good or bad, hard to say.” Then one day, the lost horse come back with other wild horses, then the neighbors came again and said, “That’s good for you!” And he said, “Good or bad, hard to say.” The day after, the farmer’s son tried to tame the wild horse and broke his leg in the process, then the neighbors came again and said, “What a terrible luck you have.” And he only said, “Good or bad, hard to say.” Few days passed, officers were coming to find young men to join the army throughout the country but because the farmer’s son’s leg was broken, he didn’t have to join the army then the neighbors came again and said, “Oh, that’s a great luck.” And again, he only said, “Good or bad, hard to say.” And the story went on and on and on.

That quote and story accompany me throughout my 21. Lost my wallet? Good or bad, hard to say. Had my thesis defense? Graduated? Good or bad, hard to say. Had my first job? Good or bad, hard to say. Broke up with my past girlfriend after 4 years of relationship? Good or bad, hard to say. Had to go back to Jakarta and live alone? Good or bad, hard to say. Got big news from my family? Good or bad, hard to say. And other things that I don’t know, even until now whether it’s good or bad.

From those experiences and learnings, now I believe that as human beings, we can only be grateful for what God has given and to surrender to what He will give us in life because there are no absolute good things or bad things in life. It’s all in a spectrum. We only need to live our life to the fullest.

Sometimes we only need to laugh the loudest, while the other times need to cry the hardest. Sometimes we need to love the fullest, while the other times need have the biggest heart to let go. Sometimes we have to work like crazy, while the other times can lay all day watching TV. I guess that’s just how life works.

Just like the lyrics in one of Alanis Morissette’s hit songs, “Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you out when you everything’s okay and everything’s going right. And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything’s gone wrong, everything blows up in your face,” I now do believe that life is indeed has a funny way.