Everyone has a story to tell that looks very different from another’s.
By: Tiffany Timm
Tags: Differences, Empathy, Perspective, Equality

Everyone has a story to tell that looks very different from another’s. We are not the same and we don’t have to be. If that were truth, natural order would have made it happen, a concept unable to be considered. We are all born with different abilities, opportunities, and looks, experiencing life in different ways. The greatest difference is the difference of perspective —which is greatly influenced by abilities, opportunities, appearances and experiences.

It is my observation that respect for differences is a rapidly receding art of humanity. The demand for oneness is lacking the balance that difference provides. It’s okay to be different, to experience and observe differences. Do rainbows leave us in a moment of awe and appreciation because they are regularly perched on the sky and skewed of only one color? Are gardens all made of the same sized, shaped and colored flower? Are houses one size fits all? No, no, and no. Nothing in existence is perfectly exactly the same. Everything, no matter how similar to the naked eye, has at the very least one molecule placed where another isn’t.

As a community, we are challenged to accept these differences in order to successfully coexist with others. Why is this important? Simply because we need each other —for one reason or another. A key ingredient to accomplishing the challenging task of coexisting despite differences, is possessing the awareness and ability to practice and apply respect.

I find myself pondering often throughout my adult life and even more so, than ever, during this past year: How great is one’s ability to respect another despite their differences? Do people even know what respect really means? The definition of respect from the Native American Code of Ethics speaks perfectly to me: "To feel or show honor or esteem for someone or something; to consider the well being of, or to treat someone or something with deference or courtesy" Deference, meaning humble submission or respect. And humble, meaning having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. In other words, without the power of ego’s influence.

Your ego is all-seeing, powerful, and superior in it’s perception. It believes that it is all that is. The ego likes to think only of itself and often neglects to see that it’s perspective is not the only perspective. This leaves us struggling to believe that that’s okay.

Commonly, when one’s perspective is met with opposition, offense and defense take the forefront. An individual will put their dukes up and fight to defend their view. What happens, though, when we lower our weapons and challenge ourselves to step into another’s shoes or to take a seat at the stand another is perched upon? We open our minds. We expand. Being open to perspectives outside of our own does not mean our perspective will cease to exist. It simply means we are willing to see outside of ourselves and allow another’s difference to exist, alongside ours. It’s okay to allow yourself to open up to a new perspective and it’s okay to allow another to do the same. And it’s quite beneficial to ourselves and those around us to be considerate enough to think outside of our own pre-packaged box —so to speak. We are adaptable. We can change, we can shift, we can even choose to stay the same. All of this is acceptable, possible, and attainable —and with such ease if we carry the quality of respect — for ourselves and others, alike. Without the ability to be respectful and open, we stay small, closed up, combative, and poisoned by the influence of conflict that opposition provides to a closed mind. And how good does that feel? What favor does it give us? Allowing ourselves to explore different perspectives separates us from the negative influence that ego often provides. This gives us the opportunity to experience the spiritual freedom of an open mind. We are able to understand outside of ourselves and exist amongst others a bit more harmoniously.

We will never all have the same perspective, our differences have too much influence in that. But we can be mindful and respectful toward one another despite them.