Why You Should Stop Fantasizing About Skinny Clothes
Tags: Weight Loss, Fitness, Body Positive, Wellness, Health

It’s 2021. TikTok star Ashley Mojo says, Wear the damn bathing suit at any size.

After a year of cocooning and worrying about the so-called “Quarantine 15,” Americans are ready to heat it up and hit the pool. But are their post-pandemic bodies ready to see daylight?

TikTok star Ashley Mojo says yes. “Throw on those jean shorts, throw on that swimsuit, and have an amazing summer,” she told the Better by the Day podcast. “Nobody’s judging you. And if they are, that’s on them. That reflects who they are as a person. It has nothing to do with you.”

For Ashley, the path to her progressive stance on body image was a complicated one. The unlikely fitness influencer rose to prominence while chronicling her weight loss journey on TikTok, racking up nearly half a million fans along the way.

“If you would have told me at the beginning of my journey in 2018 that [I’d] be famous for workouts and exercising, I would have laughed,” says Ashley. “I would not believe you.”

Though she thrived on the supportive community she found on TikTok and made major inroads toward her goal, the successes still rang a bit hollow. “When I lost 65 lbs, I just looked at myself and I wasn’t happy,” she says. “I kept thinking more, more, more. I want to lose more. I’m not happy where I’m at,” she remembers. “I wasn’t looking at how far I’d come.”

The perils of constant comparisons

For many of us, a similar dissatisfaction lingers. Scrolling through a feed of other women’s abs over breakfast, it turns out, isn’t great for mental health. Studies continue to link social media use to body dissatisfaction, and even vocal proponents of the body positivity movement look at its online footprint with a skeptical eye.

A pre-pandemic Vogue piece gives shoutouts to brands being more inclusive in their campaigns. But it warns against commodifying the movement and creating another beauty standard out of “acceptably fat women” that excludes outliers of shape, income, and race.

“A reckoning is coming to what is widely, if improperly, dubbed the ‘body positivity’ internet,” a Vox article by Rebecca Jennings proclaimed earlier this year. Illustrating the paradox with anecdotes from around the web, the author points to influencers like teen Disney star Sissy Sheridan who “liked her body before downloading TikTok.”

In another hit for the would-be body confident, an Aug 2020 study of college students found that their perceived weight gain during quarantine further skewed their reality and increased the risk of disordered eating.

Make Peace with Your Body

So what’s a girl to do when the weather’s great, but you don’t feel like you can measure up to all of those “perfect” beach bodies in your feed?

“Tell yourself you look good and believe it,” says Ashley. Even after her transformation, the recent college grad still struggled with body image.

“I realized the clothes were not the problem, it was my mindset,” she says. “I was the one saying to myself, you don’t look good in that. You’re not skinny enough to wear that.”

“I was so cruel to myself on that journey,” she remembers. “Sometimes I was my biggest hater.” It wasn’t until she started practicing daily affirmations and self-love that Ashley found her mojo. “Start to love yourself. Start thinking of gratitude,” she suggests. “Your health journey, your fitness journey, whatever you’re on — it’s going to be a lot easier if you’re not at war with yourself.”

“For example, I could look at my legs and say oh, I have thunder thighs or they jiggle when I walk. Or I can look at my legs and say, I am so grateful I have two legs that get me to where I need to be every single day,” she says. “And then when you think about it like that, I don’t even care what they look like. They’re doing their purpose, they’re getting me to where I need to be. And that’s all that matters.”

“Your body is your home. You live in it. You can’t hate it. You wake up in it every single day,” she says. If she could go back in time, Ashley wishes she would have started practicing radical self-love sooner. But she’s excited to be able to pay it forward by cheering on her peers on TikTok and the health and wellness app where she’s now a coach. “I feel so supported and I love that I can help others.”

“I love the WayBetter app,” says Ashley. “We’re all on here for different reasons, but we’re all here for the same reason — self improvement.” Whether that’s to feel better in your body or make healthier choices, she loves scrolling through the feed and seeing smiling, unfiltered faces. “No one’s judging anybody. I absolutely love that.”

Just Wear It

The world is waking up from more than a year of hibernation. And there’s never been a better time to be the main character in your own story. Whether you’re getting back in the dating pool or cooling off at your favorite swimming hole, Ashley wants you to wear what you love at any size. A comment on TikTok about her new physique triggered her call to rethink societal norms around what women wear.

“Shopping for skinny clothes? That’s what we need to dismantle,” she says. “Oh, it’s like you need a flat tummy to wear this. Or you need to weigh under a certain amount to pull off this. We need to completely get rid of that,” says Ashley. “If you like an outfit, buy that and wear that. You don’t have to lose 20 pounds to look good in that outfit.”

For Ashley, weight loss wasn’t the panacea she thought it would be. Her perspective shift came from the work she was doing on the inside. “Your mind is who’s running the show. Your thoughts are going to control your actions and what you do for the day,” she says. “Mindset is everything.”

“I decided that I needed to just view myself with gratitude and love,” she remembers. “I found my biggest insecurities and turned them into my pride.” And when it comes to her summer wardrobe, Ashley is simply going for it. “I don’t care what anyone thinks. I like this. I’m going to put it on. And I’m going to have an amazing day.”

We think you should follow suit.