10 Clear Signs That You Are a Terrible Friend
By: Rose Bak
Tags: Life, Relationships, Connection, Life Lessons, Friendship

10 Clear Signs That You Are a Terrible Friend

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Are you a sucky friend?

If you just said no, take a hard look at yourself and think again. Ask yourself how your friends would answer that question. If your friendships are not as good as they could be, the problem just might be you.

Everyone thinks they are a good friend, but the fact is, not everyone is good at maintaining positive relationships.

Good friendships are based on mutual respect, honesty, and support.

If you are truly good friends with someone, you both will actually look forward to spending time together. There will be natural give and take.

Everyone should have a few good friends. Friends are good for our mental and physical health.

As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to create new friendships. That’s why it’s so important to put in the work to only have good friends, but also to be a good friend to others.

Friendships, like any relationship, can have their ups and downs. Sometimes life gets in the way and we are not as nice and supportive and present and communicative as we would like to be.

But when bad behavior becomes a pattern, it’s time to do some soul-searching and think about if the problem is actually you.

How can you tell if you are actually the kind of friend you want to be? Here are ten signs that you are a terrible friend, and what to do differently.

You always wait for your friend to contact you.

No one likes to be the person who always initiates contact. After a while, your friend may just give up on you. There’s no excuse for not keeping in touch.

When your friend crosses your mind, give them a call, or send them a text. If you need to, write it into your calendar to reach out to the people you care about. Make them a priority in your life.

2. You only talk about yourself.

We all have those people in our lives who talk and talk and talk about themselves the whole time. They might throw in an obligatory “so what’s new with you” before going back to talking about their own shit. Next time you’re talking to your friend, pause. Take a breath.

Allow someone else to speak. Your friend needs to talk too. Actually, listen instead of planning what you’re going to say next. Show your friend that you are interested in them too.

3. You borrow money.

Your friend is not your bank. It’s one thing if there’s a true emergency, like you need money to pay for your kidney transplant or you have an unexpected emergency.

But most of the time your need to borrow money is because you are not budgeting. Don’t be that person who is constantly borrowing $20 here and $50 there and worst yet, not paying it back.

Don’t ask for a loan unless it’s truly and emergency and you fully intend to pay your friend back promptly. Be respectful of your friendship and remember, nothing kills a friendship like borrowing money.

4. You have to one-up everyone.

When your friend shares an accomplishment, do you counter with something you think is better? Did you announce your engagement at your friend’s wedding? When your friend has a problem, do you say things like, “that’s nothing” and share some problem of your own?

It’s not a competition. Let your friend have their moment, good or bad. Ask yourself if you really need to share your own experience or accomplishment. You don’t need to show them up. Let them be the center of attention for once.

5. You steal their boyfriend/spouse/partner.

This seems obvious but just in case it’s not, this is literally one of the very worst things you can do to a friend. Ask yourself why you would even consider taking up with your friend’s significant other. Is it jealousy? Are you just a terrible person?

Stay far away, and if your friend’s SO comes onto you, run away. And tell your friend. You would want your friend to tell you if the situation were reversed, right? Go out and find your own love interest.