You’re Making History Without Even Trying
By: Jen Mcgahan
Tags: Life, Art, Health, Creativity, Personal Growth

I keep telling myself the world is new every day. There are infinite, small opportunities to make history. Whether you realize it or not, you are making history with your life. Just your being here on the planet changes things. You get to design your life today; and it’s impossible to do it like anyone else before you in history. This one’s all yours. And mine. We don’t get to judge.

I recently took a job at a spa, finally making use of my massage therapy license. I am surprised I like it so much; both the work and the structure it provides after months of freefalling.

One of my clients yesterday was a 16-year-old girl, whose pants, by the way, were made of the exact same material as my high school uniform skirt. ( I could barely stop staring.) Her older sister was home from college for Thanksgiving break. To celebrate, her mom treated them all to a girls’ spa day. When the massage was finished, the teenager smiled and said, “I feel like a new woman.”

“You are,” I responded. “Every day, if you want to be.”

Did my own kid get that memo?

Stealing Joy Back

The other day I was running the trails at the county park, notorious for its poor signage and cryptic trail map. Of course, I got lost. This added about another mile to my intended hike.

Sometimes while running in the woods, I rant to invisible ghosts or my former self. That day, I was talking to Katie’s spirit, my far-flung daughter, inviting her to stop by anytime. We don’t have to wait for the proverbial joyous reunion. She could send a sign or something. How hard could it be to pierce this veil between us? Sheesh.

Instantly, there appeared a yellow butterfly, and the earworm from out of nowhere, the Beatles tune “She Loves You.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it’s corny, but there it was.

It occurred to me then. I was the first woman to ever… race a butterfly on a cloudy day, on that particular twisted route back to my car, wearing a Torchy's Tacos teeshirt. Never was there ever another moment like that one.

OK, maybe it’s more newsworthy to be the first woman in flight or on the local fire department, or the first scientist to discover a new element or the first person to climb a certain mountain.

But you also set yourself apart by praying to a God you don’t believe in, or writing an original essay, creating a recipe using flavors never joined together. Or you can paint an angel on a cardboard box. Any creative pursuit automatically adds you to the list of firsts.

I took a picture of her cardboard box art long ago. Glad I did. Image courtesy of the author.

It would never matter to me whether Katie left a legacy that the world noticed.

I just miss her in my life, like all parents who lose children, and like no other parent before me. She was the keeper of memories, and details I lost but for her. She was my meme-sharer and funny girl.

But to say that my life is an unbearably deep hole without her is to discount all this chewy goodness, post-Katie. So I keep at it, because what else is there? Not the stuff of legends, but…

We hand history to the great artists, the famous writers, the notorious politicians, the evil emperors, the wealthy benefactors, the selfless prophets, and the brilliant scientists.

And then there’s you and me.

What is history?

Does it count if no one knows about it? Does it count if the only one who reads your book is your sister and best friend? Does it count if your mom posts posthumous pictures of your art on her blog?

Who are the creators of history? I’m afraid to admit greatness is seated in people like my daughter, and like me.

And absolutely, in you… the very fact of you.

Every day we are creating the world, painting on cardboard, snapping skateboards, planting herbs in pots then letting them die of thirst, rallying energy in your team of gamers, losing mittens in the woods.

Original thoughts and ideas are popping to life every second of every life from our staggeringly common, yet individual brains. We send birthday cards to 100-year-old strangers we read about in the paper. We rescue turtles on the highway. We make soup. Collectively we make a new world every day.

One of Ursula Nordstrom’s favorite quotes, and now mine, was by the dancer Martha Graham. Nordstrom kept a ragged printed copy on a piece of paper in her purse.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. … No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others”

Whether or not my daughter was recognized for her accomplishments, whether or not she was proud of her life as she lived it, she did indeed make history.

The artist as a child. Image courtesy of the author.

Now, if you’re reading this, the onus is on you. Ask yourself, “Why am I here? What more is expected of me?”

Every life leaves a legacy

You are a miracle. Never before seen and never to be seen again. I believe that now for sure.

I also know that no legacy is more valuable than any other. We will all wash up on the shores of history in equal measure. Another exquisite grain of sand tumbled by the ocean of eternity.

See you out there.