Why We Should Do Our Best to Find Joy in the 2020 Holiday Season
By: Yael Wolfe
Tags: Spirituality, Home, Holidays, Singles, Christmas

Why We Should Do Our Best to Find Joy in the 2020 Holiday Season

It’s been a rough year — let’s not make it any harder by neglecting ourselves and our homes

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

It’s December 2020. I have had so many conversations with people who aren’t bothering to decorate for the holidays this year.

I get it. Why bother? No one’s coming over. We won’t be having those lovely holiday dinners with friends and family. There won’t be any Friday night Christmas movie marathon with your besties or having all the family come over to help decorate your tree.

I won’t be able to have my dear friend Peter and his wife over for a holiday meal like I did last year (when he accidentally knocked down my string of lights and then proceeded to close the door on them, breaking one of the bulbs — I still give him crap for that).

I won’t be able to have the nephews over to help me put the ornaments on my tree.

I won’t be having Sunny and Frank over for game night and hot chocolate.

In fact, I am in quarantine as I write this so I can spend the last half of December with my mother, thereby avoiding too much isolation during this challenging time of year. That’s right: I won’t even be home for the last two weeks of December.

It would be easy to just skip it all. There’s really no logical reason to cook special things for myself, put up the tree, hang the lights.

And yet…I’m doing it anyways.

I’ve spent the past year seriously facing the possibility that I might be single for the rest of my life. Or I might end up in a relationship (or relationships) in which I don’t live with my partner(s). Or… Who knows? Anything could happen.

So far, my life has not gone according to plan, at all. I mean, not even a little bit. And if that trend continues, I don’t want it to become a source of pain, disappointment, or heartbreak. I want to be able to be happy no matter what my circumstances are.

That has made me look at my life very differently. I didn’t get to be the happy, young homemaker I once wanted to be. But what if I could still achieve those same feelings and joys in whatever circumstance I find myself in? I live alone, but can’t I still be a happy (not so young anymore) homemaker?

Hell yes, I can. Because it’s my life and I get to decide this.

Now, I’m exploring the “art of solitary homemaking” — which I totally made up, because again, this is my life and I can do whatever I want. Is solitary homemaking a thing? It is now!

The more I dove into this, the more I realized how important it is to take care of ourselves. I think this is especially important for women, who are taught to be caretakers to everyone else, above all. We aren’t taught to be a good wife or mother to ourselves before we give that energy to others.

And yes, I think it’s important for men to do this for themselves, as well, to break away from the role society enforced upon them to be the stoic breadwinners who come home to a household from which they might feel disconnected. I think many men need a little nudge that gives them permission to interact with their home in a more soulful way. This is a place that should nurture, protect, and inspire us — and men deserve all of that, too.

As we move into the holiday season of a year that has been deeply challenging and painful for many, we could choose to follow 2020’s lead and just skip the good stuff.

But I wonder what would happen if we treated ourselves the way we would treat our children (or hypothetical children if, like me, you don’t have any). Most people I know who have young children are at least going through the motions — they aren’t going to disappoint their children.

Well, guess what? We are as important as our children, hypothetical or not. Protecting our joy is important, too. Cultivating a nurturing environment is just as essential for us.

Expecting less for ourselves just because we are adults is unkind. Opting out on simple joys because we are single and living alone in a pandemic is downright cruel.

Let’s do more for ourselves.

Put up lights and a Christmas tree and/or whatever holiday decorations you prefer. Make yourself a pie. And a cup of tea. Make your bed every morning. Try a new homemaking skill like making soap or sewing a set of placemats. And make sure you have plenty of healthy remedies on hand.

In the hopes of inspiring others to find joy in this particularly difficult season, I made a video sharing some of the ways I am taking care of myself this December. An epic apple pie and silly dancing were involved.

Since I can’t have people over this year, you can virtually visit me and hang out with me in my kitchen. Come on in…

© Yael Wolfe 2020