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Things They Never Did. Love, laugh, live
Tags: Love, Loss, Hopes And Dreams, Lonely

Photo by Tijs van Leur on Unsplash

Love, laugh, live

Hold, hug, and cry

All the things after hello

And before goodbye

Never did he stroke her hair

Or whisper in her ear

Never did he tell her tonight

What he’d like her to wear

Not once did they hold hands

And walk down the street

Not once for a special date

Did they decide to meet

Never did she watch him sleep

Before they wake up

Not once did they fight

And then make up

Never did she lay her head on his chest

And hear his heart beat

Never did they argue over

Dinner time and what to eat

Never did they smoke together

A cigarette or a joint

Nor share a cup of coffee

A glass of wine or a pint

There were so many

Trips they never made

Movies unwatched

And games unplayed

Not one sunrise was witnessed together

And nor was a sunset

Not one train ride home with him

Did she ever get

Not one picture on her phone

Of him smiling at her

Not one framed photograph

Of that happy day together

There were so many words

That she never spoke

So many of her dreams ended

Every time she awoke

Not one real moment together

Did they ever share

Even though they wanted to

They didn’t ever dare

It was always

A bit of that and a bit of this

All that time and all that talk

But not one kiss

All of these years gone by

With nothing to show

Except this list of things never done

That continues to grow
Ah, May. I can’t believe she’s gone.
By: Marie Jones
Tags: Eulogy, Short Form, Loss, Humor, Appliances

Ah, May. I can’t believe she’s gone. We met her five years ago when we moved into our new house. Pool was here with her. They looked so much alike, we thought they were siblings, but they were only distant cousins.

May and Pool were hipper than the friends I’d left behind in Tennessee. My old friends were upright, dependable, but not at all innovative. These two — I did things with them I’d never done before.

It caught me by surprise when she died. Sure, she’d started taking longer to finish her work. But last week she was her usual whirling dervish self, finishing right on time. The code team came in…there was nothing they could do.

Poor Pool is quite lost without her. I saw a steady-looking toploader at Lowe’s last week. I think I’ll introduce them after the holidays.
Loss
By: Tiya Chows
Tags: Loss, Poetry On Medium, Covid 19, Poetry, Death

Loss

https://www.shutterstock.com/g/sudok1

It’s so silent now.

Your mumbles and grumbles and things I wouldn’t pay mind to ring in my ears.

Yet you are not here.

We remember your gentleness.

Stories and tales now reverberate every room.

Things we never knew.

So much kindness in you.

You would help the needy.

Reassure the pleading.

Hold tight to family ties.

Because, above all else, you were wise.

You have left a crater.

Whose depths, we realise, knows no bounds.

We swim in it’s waters.

Just to stay closer.

..To you.
Grief with Nowhere to Go
By: Bernadette Decarlo
Tags: Cancer, Illumination, Loss, Poetry, Mothers And Daughters

Grief with Nowhere to Go

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

“ Grief is just love with no place to go” ~ Jamie Anderson

When we argued, you told me

I would miss you when you were gone

I was a caregiver and shared my home

My heart broke after cancer

that found you as a host

I held your hand as you took your last breath

I heard someone say that grief is love with no place to go

How does grief flow, and where do we send it?

Is it the awareness of our minds

that tells us you are with us after your time is up?

Or the belief that we exist

beyond our sight so we can live

with ourselves when love departs

and interpreting scripture

that we are everlasting,

and in His house, are many mansions!

Faith instilled because of belief

or because grief is love with nowhere to go?

My husband felt your touch the other day

Why was it not me instead?

Your transition did not differ

from when the rain falls

It drizzles in the beginning,

and afterward, the torrential pour

How does if feel to walk into the arms of God?

I received a card from hospice after my mom died awhile ago. And I wish I could have come up with such a beautiful reaction that a five-year-old grandchild expressed when her grandmother died.

“Grandma wanted to die; she wanted to go to heaven and see if God is real. Now God should let Grandma come home. We miss her.” Author unknown
The tragedy of Losing yourself and the beauty of finding yourself.
By: Scripted Nomad
Tags: Loss, Journey, Self Discovery, Mental Health, Self Improvement

was quite skeptical about this shot; turns out it came pretty alright.

We lose our possessions, we lose our friends, we lose our loved ones; each of them having a tragic sensation of their own; but there is nothing more terrible as the loss of oneself; yourself.

Losing ourselves is a rocky journey , it may be instantaneous to some and be a long time coming to some others, the ones who have been cracking deep within under pressure for a very long time that one fine day they break; and eventually question themselves the value of their self-worth.

I’ve had countless experiences wherein i have lost my confidence, my self-esteem; even my self-worth through failures, break ups and mockery. Each time made me question my identity and my existence; to the point where i began to think what’s the point of everything if i don’t seem to identify myself for who i am because i don’t think i am enough amongst the countless others in the world.

I lost myself entirely, to the point where nothing really mattered; it was this movie where the protagonist sees his life fall apart and he just lays there seeing the bits and pieces of his life pass by, not saying a word nor moving an inch to save himself.

There were questions in my mind that I feared to answer, only because I knew what the answer was gonna look like; confusion struck me for days, depression set in and i felt like my life was a drag, just dragging through the days with no hope of there ever being a new beginning.

These are the times where a lot of us have shattered, broken into pieces; but here’s the thing, we try to pick the pieces and glue them back together.

What if those pieces were part of an outer shell, your outer shell, a shell that needs to crack; needs to fall down piece by piece; until there’s nothing but a fresh part of you that is ready to step into the light,

That light is hope, its a calling towards discovery, a journey uncertain and unconventional that is willing to teach you things that you had never known about, a feeling of joy in rediscovering new places, hobbies and interests.

That journey is the path towards finding yourself once again, the courage to leave your old husk behind and starting anew, that’s the beauty of life but something that we all miss out on, the beauty of finding ourselves once again, to give ourselves the permission to be better than what we were.

It isn’t easy to let the old sense of self go, but it is worth finding what is it that you truly desire from the one lifetime you’ve got to live, to be willing to rediscover and find your true self again, the self that is content and in love with themselves.

I cannot tell you what that journey will look like, but what i can tell you is that each of us have a unique journey of our own, and that’s a story worth living and an experience worth sharing with the rest of your world.
Grief takes no holiday…
By: Catherine Aumack
Tags: Mourning, Loss, Life Lessons, Transformation, Grief

It was after the death of my Mother that I began to understand true sorrow

I’d felt sadness, deep sadness

This was an entirely different animal

Grief can take various forms

Sometimes it’s light

Momentary

Other times it feels like it will swallow you whole

Spit you out

Then swallow you again

Losing a parent is different

It’s been a few years yet I struggle to find the words

I tell you this

**It’s Incomprehensible

**It’s Indescribable

**It’s Inescapable

**It’s Not going away

Even if the death comes peacefully, after a long illness, it’s a wrenching severance

Mom’s passing felt more like an amputation

According to friends further in the journey, the howling eventually diminishes to a dull roar, later replaced by loud sighs

They promise though sadder and forever changed, eventually I will go about my life

This level of pain is incomprehensible to the uninitiated

It changes everything

Waking up, and, for a split second, forgetting that part of your heart and soul isn’t here anymore…

Then remembering

That part of who you are

Part of where you come from

Is gone forever

That there will be no new memories

Your turn will come soon enough

Inevitably, it gets us all

Since Mom’s death I’ve come to understand a great deal about the loss of a parent

Today I realize just how little I know

A piece of me went Home with her that day

The hole left in my Soul, still raw at the edges, stubbornly refuses to heal

The mourning that once swept me up has eased a bit

Memories of my Mother are becoming sloppy

Unclear

Foggy around the edges

These days, there are times when the grief slipping away seems just as terrifying as it was the day it burst through my front door

Grief is like the waves in the ocean

Some days calm and serene

A gentle rumbling beneath the surface

Other days relentless

Angry

Determined to drag you under

Bent on destroying anything in its path

Grief, for me, is like fighting the undertow

Your head breaks through the waves

Gasping for air you escape the ocean’s grip

Beaten up

Out of breath

Body shaking

Battle over

Grateful to be alive

You wipe the salt from your eyes

Head for shore

Waves hit you from behind

Knock you off your feet

Drag you under

The fight begins anew

I find solace in the ocean

Smell it, hear it, see it

My shoulders fall from the up-tight position

There’s an audible sigh as my mind shuts off

My soul replenished

I find peace

Today I’m in the undertow

Praying I escape long enough to catch my breath

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What I’ve learned about loss
By: Miranda Bloomfield
Tags: Emotions, Growth, Loss, Sadness, Grief

Some days, dealing with loss feels as though I am running through quicksand. No matter how strong I feel I may be, I cant seem to move forward, and it just seems more and more impossible as time goes on. Other days I forget. Forget that anyone ever died, forget how I’ve been hurt, feel almost okay. That’s the problem with loss. The emotions come and go, you’re fine and then you see someone who looks a little bit too much like them, and a tidal wave hits you. I don’t think anyone ever really recovers from loss. It stays with us, as a lesson, a memory, a reason to keep going on hard days. Some turn to religion to cope, some numb out with drugs, others just learn to live with the loss.

I learned not long ago that loss does not directly need to be death. You lose friendships, relationships, pets, jobs, sports, abilities, hobbies. Some losses are small and unimportant, other crash your world and have you wishing you could run away. Hell, I’ve spent hours upon hours dealing with my losses, yet some days all I want to do is run away from the pain.

So how do you get better. They always say time heals, which is true, but time without work is just a gap. Sure, take time to be sad, but then take time to understand your emotions, reach out, get perspective on your loss. Take it as a lesson, Or spend time deciding how you want to remember. I can think back on my friend and get sad that she is gone, or I can think back and be content with the time we shared. That’s when I can think of her and smile, even though I will never see her smile again. She lives in my memories, and that’s what is important.

Some loss is bad, I lost my sense of security at a young age and that has effected my life greatly, but what am i going to do with that emotion. Being angry is going to solve nothing and help no one. Its growing through the loss, understanding what happened, how it made me felt, and forgiving that helped me. Not forgiving blindly, but forgiving mistakes of some who may not have known better, who did their best, who were powerless as well. Forgiving for my own healing, because hating will get me nowhere.

Loss is part of life no matter what, and it will break me at times. That is okay, I will be okay in the end.
Do Only Losers Quit?
By: Christine Macdonald
Tags: Life, Adulting, Loss, Failure, Lessons Learned

I was told in conversation that ‘Only losers quit’. This struck me as hostile and had I wished to unpack the statement, I’m certain there’d be a story.

I decided to smile and change the subject.

I respected their beliefs but wasn’t on board. With respect, sometimes there is silence. Keeping our personal thoughts to ourselves is the kind thing to do when no positive outcomes are on deck.

I don’t believe the statement: Only losers quit.

Quitting (or, Letting Go) a romance, job, hobby, personal or professional goal, after a valiant effort illustrates immense confidence, humility, and courage in being honest with ourselves.

We are not meant to excel at everything. Trying is the key. Insight is built on lessons we learn, and we learn the most important ones when allowing ourselves defeat. Don’t let feelings of failure derail you; failure is the birthplace of success.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Attitude is everything. And since we cannot change most of the millions of human beings’ opinions in the world— focusing on, sticking to, and living in a place in which we see through our own lens is key.

When we learn, we don’t truly fail. We gain lessons — which…don’t tell anyone — is really another way of winning.
A Song for the Weary
By: With Love
Tags: Love, Love Letters, Loss, Grief

Photo by Konstantin Aal on Unsplash

Dear Anonymous,

I still hear you in every Billie Holiday song, in the raspy texture of Louis Armstrong’s voice, in the swing of Ella Fitzgerald. Do you remember? Our last moments together, the last time you saw, looked into my eyes? I sang Ella Fitzgerald’s ‘Paper Moon’ for you. I still remember. You looked at me in awe, “for me?” your eyes asked. “You’re singing for me?” I will always sing for you. I lose you sometimes in the haze of life. Days go by and I see a man of your posture in the store, everything comes rushing back. I think I push you away because I know I do not want to feel it.

The last two years were a marathon, or more accurately a sprint. Chasing cures, chasing drugs. Time falling through our grip until there was nothing else to hold. Nothing except Ella’s sweet voice. What I underestimated was the chaos. I did not realize the stability and comfort you brought to my life, until it was taken from me. Your gentle strength watching over me. To hear your voice again, to have one more conversation, nothing special. Just to listen to you describe your lunch or how the garden blooms. You taught me to savor the small things, to hold on to the silly conversations about the weather or the traffic. You taught me to savor the people, to love them now while you have them.

It is selfish but I wish you could see me now. I wish you could see the person I have become. Like I say, it is selfish, but I want your approval. I want to feel your pride when I tell you about my studies, or read you my many poems. They say I am strong, but that is an illusion. I only appear strong because I was forced to become. In reality, you were the strong one. You fought the battle and accepted defeat when it was the last thing you wanted. You underwent pain, suffered through things that made you weak, a thousand needle pricks, you lost yourself even, but came back. Always gentle and kind. You saved me and her a hundred times.

I remember it was October and you fell in and out of losing yourself. I visited you in the hospital and held your fragile hand. I looked into your eyes and said I love you, said I would be right back to say goodbye. But, I left before I could. Those last words I heard you say were I love you too. I never said goodbye. If only I knew. If only I could cast a spell, go back to that time, summon the courage to re-enter the room and say goodbye, but I was running. If only, if only. A million regrets could never bring you back now.

As time pulls me further, you dance in and out of my mind. When I see you in dreams I pull you close, I scream I love you, so that maybe you will hear. I try to preserve your memory. As time dulls the pains and washes you into an impression. I hope to grow strong enough to feel you. I hope to grow strong enough to see you again. For now, the days pass and I pray for relief. I pray for acceptance. I pray to surrender.

She told me you loved me most and I am grateful for the honor.

Thank you for existing.

Always, with love
The Last Recordings
By: Samantha Lazar
Tags: Mourning, Life, Loss, Poetry, Death

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

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Smashed Into Pieces
By: America Zed
Tags: Life, Loss, Poetry On Medium, Grief, Poetry

The heart smashed into pieces,

And scattered her loss

in the war outside.

Unsettled in the cold

where no love is,

For another sixty years

of painful life.

The world knew how to fix it,

If only the soul had time.
Five of Cups: Mourning Loss
By: Tarot Stories
Tags: Mourning, Self Pity, Loss, Tarot Cards, Dissapointments

The Five of Cups feels like me today or me this entire week/month. Covered in a robe, feeling depressed and self-pity, unable to love at the good stuff in my life. Or rather, unwilling because I know I am lucky and I should be grateful, but as I often tell me husband, tell my brain that.

The Type A in me wants to make a list of the things that are worrying me so that I can put it in a box and attach solutions to it, however the Cancer in me would rather be dramatic and cry in the shower about some abstract misery. I haven’t figured out who I’m going to listen to. Just need to make it through today. One day at a time, right?

Five of Cups from the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck

What you see: A figure in a long dark robe looks down at three cups that have fallen over and spilt whatever was in them on the ground. Behind him are two cups still standing. In the background a river flows under a bridge with a castle off in the distance.

What it means: The figure is wrapped in the black cloak of despair, as he contemplates what he has lost while ignoring the two opportunities behind her. The river is the stream of subconsciousness, and the castle represents home or a place of comfort with a bridge to bring him there.

The story: The Five of Cups card represents loss and stuck in a moment of mourning or disappointment; the inability to let go and take stock of the opportunities that remain and the things that still bring joy.

Reversed meaning: Reversed, the card could signify the return of something that you had lost or the act of moving on and finding joy once more.

Reflection: This is a fairly clear card — the advice it offers is to not cry over spilt milk, particularly when you still have a couple of cups that haven’t been spilt. I don’t really like this advice, because I think there is something healthy in mourning and wallowing for a while, as long as you don’t become stuck.
Nowhere to Go
By: Wendy S. Bradfield
Tags: Relationships, Life, Love, Loss, Poetry

This earth suit is heavy

Take it now; I am through

No, sweet child, you have so much more to do.

If you like this, you may fancy this:
The Lost Boys
By: John Edward Marks, Jem
Tags: Blue Insights, Loss, Poetry On Medium, World War I, Boys

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
Because I Get Attached to Objects with a Sense of Intimacy Usually Reserved for Lovers and Pets
By: Jennifer Robin
Tags: Obsessions, Relationships, Loss, American Dream, Consumerism

Collage of vintage ladies and cutlery, because.

Because I get attached to objects with a sense of intimacy usually reserved for lovers and pets, I sometimes wonder what happened to the large silver soup spoon that I found at a Goodwill 27 years ago. It had an Art Nouveau handle; was forged before my grandmother was born, before motion pictures; before boned corsets were outlawed from a young lady’s arsenal of everlasting lures. I think I took it on a date. I think I took it on a plane. It must have been lost at a drunken picnic, in a park. Maybe it fell out of a backpack in a car. Maybe a teenaged girl stole it from a pan of boiled peas. Once I brought it to a wedding; this is true, a wedding of two artists too poor to buy their own food, so it was a wedding potluck, and the bride, so stingy that she once told me I could have a dress of hers but she cut the buttons off before giving it to me, well she kept my large soup spoon from the potluck for many years until I snuck into her kitchen drawer and stole it back. I was young; we are supposed to pardon people under the age of twenty-four for such things, don’t we? Well I was twenty-four but she was forty; a button-and-spoon miser eternal. Ha! I don’t expect to be pardoned for anything; not with these eyes, these lips, my dirty fingernails, my mind. So where did I lose this spoon, and who was I with? I flew on a plane to New York with it, ate thousands of meals with it. Then the day comes when it has vanished. To what dimension do stray spoons go? Found so long ago, seen my breasts expand and contract, seen heartbreak make my body convulse on a bed like a monkey poisoned; seen my grandparents die and my hair dyed white and my life packed in suitcases and everything tried and failed and full of music, and unremarkable. Has it slipped behind a drawer? Was it accidentally thrown in the trash by a drunken man, along with broken plates, bloody rags? All I know is that in soil, in landfill, or in the hands of a teenager running wild with a pentagram traced on her sneaker, magic marker, unremarkable, the spoon will live, silver forged, Lady of the Lake wrapped in fever, return every eighty years, when my skin is lost, when oceans cease to pulse:

Last known sighting, Winter 2017
Passions & Ambition Pursuing
By: Dr. Praveen Srivastava
Tags: Passion, Ambition, Coaching

Develop your personal life by learning new skills, hobbies, meeting new friends, travel, photography etc.

Learning new above skills and many more every year will always bring confidence in your lives which is very important for any growth of humans. Learn to speak a new language, cooking, painting, public speaking etc. Make new friends which will be exciting for you. When you go for a Gym, travel journey etc. try to meet new people with different lifestyles and different views.

Include travelling in your life. Seeing new places, meeting new people will give valuable experiences of life. Do travel to your own country. India is very beautiful. India is a huge country and yes sometimes getting around can be slow and does require a bit of patience but the good news for travelers is that there is affordable and efficient transportation reaching to the far corners of the country from the super affordable travel logistics.

Audit your life every three years and improve your performance. Your dream diary is your valuable document for you to check how far you have succeeded in realizing your wishes.

Widen horizon through new experiences and breaking useless barriers however never lose your dignity, values and pride.

Create hobbies for yourself such as gardening, nature watching, painting, music, dancing, writing etc. prepare for your solitude by learning to enjoy activities by yourself.

Mediate regularly for joy. Learn to enjoy silence and solitude. Soon you will begin to seek these beautiful activities because they help you to achieve success and happiness.

Talk to us : www.pnpconsultants.net & www.praveencsrivastava.com

We have highly trained team who can coach superbly on any aspect of life in the following areas :

· Confidence, Self-Worth & Self Esteem

· Loving Relationships at Workplace

· Career Change — Creating Workplaces that Work

· The Mastery of Balance — Juggling a Life, struggle etc

· Mid-life career crises

· Self-Care — Getting Your Own Needs Met

· Living Your Purpose

· Managing Anger, Upsets, Frustration and Stress

· Managing Grief, Loss, Sadness and Change

· Connection Parenting

· Self & Identity

· Food, Nutrition, & Optimal Health
Becoming an Effective Communicator
By: Gregory Ward
Tags: Storyofmylife, Personal Development, Writing, Communication, Coaching

Through reading more

Over the last few years I have written more and more, my writing is improving with each passing week, the content ideas are flowing and I’m starting to get a little praise for the writing not just the content.

How has this happened?

Let me take you back to the beginning….

I started on a journey of self-development. I turned 40 and felt stuck in my life. I knew I wasn’t happy with accepting the norm anymore. The only expectation placed upon me was to get a job, married and have children. Everything else was just, Meh. Life wasn’t about making something of yourself, that was only for the clever people. Life was about being happy with what you were given. You shouldn’t ask for more and certainly shouldn’t seek it out.

So I started reading, consuming, self-development books. Started dreaming that I could have more in my life, search for purpose. I never once thought it would lead to where I am today. I was looking for answers to questions that I had but I found answers to questions I didn’t know I needed to ask.

The first book I read seriously was ‘The Shock Doctrine’ by Naomi Klein. While not a self-development book it opened my eyes to a world beyond my current world. A world that was influenced behind the scenes.

From there book after book followed until I reached the point where I am now. Consuming day after day, reading books, articles, listening to audiobooks. Not every book is value cover to cover, but often just those 2 or 3 ideas pop into my head. Those ideas lead to many more.

The reason I started writing was to share the things I have learnt to help other people. My thought sand knowledge didn’t come across as intended sometimes so I had to learn to write better, to be able to communicate better.

The more I read the more I understood how to write and communicate effectively through writing. Without consuming so much I would never of reached this point in my life.

The point that I am at is writing to help people become the best version of themselves, to help them discover their purpose, achieve their personal and professional goals.

I coach people on a one-one basis but to further my reach I create online courses, write articles such as the one you are reading, post on social media and in the future, books.

This is the only way that you help as many people as you can, but it is only through reading that you can learn to effectively communicate with a wide audience. Learn more through reading and you will be amazed at what you have picked up along the way.
Help! I’m a new manager!
By: Jack Latrobe
Tags: Mentoring, Leadership, Management, Guides And Tutorials, Coaching

Step three: grow every one.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

If you believe Effective Manager's teachings, most management has essentially two goals: retain your people, and get the work done. A powerful way to retain people is to offer them opportunities to grow and learn. People tend to be generally more interested in different and novel tasks, and learning is a wonderful way to scratch that itch for “something different”.

You could offer small opportunities for growth through small tasks: pushing down monthly reporting or management tasks, giving opportunities to present at a meeting to a more junior team member, or encouraging the team to experiment with a new potential approach or exciting technology.

Or it could be bigger goals, including supporting team members in gaining technical certifications, pursuing further study or research, or completing PD courses.

Supporting people to learn and grow is something we should all do outside of our immediate team too — there are usually opportunities to offer mentoring, coaching or advice to colleagues in other teams or other projects — growing their skills and your broader awareness of your company or organisation in the process. This helps build a more open and broader learning culture across your organisation and empowers teams with a more creative and “can-do” attitude as their skillsets and perspectives continue to expand.

Getting into this habit of mentoring and coaching takes a while to pay dividends sometimes, but it always pays off in the end. As the people around you start to become more senior, they can take on some of the tasks currently on your plate. Other teams that you rely on become more efficient and easier to deal with. Stakeholders who you have great relationships with are moved into more senior roles, providing further access and opportunities.

“The Coaching Habit” by Michael Bungay Stanier was instrumental in defining how I approach this. It provides a philosophy and an approach to guiding and coaching people that is easy to follow and build into a habit that becomes automatic. I’ve used some of these coaching skills not just in the workplace, but in many situations more broadly in life where someone just needed a friendly ear to bounce off a decision, challenge or brilliant new idea.
Build on what you have
By: Lizzie Rhodes James
Tags: Health, Coaching, Happiness, Leadership, Wellbeing

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

Build on what you have.

We all have

Strengths

Approaches

System we work in.

Things that are there (whatever the size).

Recognising what is close to us.

The things that we care for.

The items we treasure.

And

What really makes us tick.

Forget about the external drivers.

The shoulds.

The coulds.

The maybes.

The next book that you think will give you the edge.

Build on what you are all about.

And

Already have.

Original on my website here
Authoritarian Leadership
By: Shaan Rais
Tags: Leader, Authoritarian, Leadership, Authoritarian Leadership, Coaching

Authoritarian leadership is not democracy-based. Not even a little bit. Authoritarian leadership sadly is one of the most utilized leadership styles today. Now, this is not to say that there are not good points to be found in this form of leadership. I am sure that there are some, but this is more of a compliance-based leadership style and may work when you’re working inside a nuclear power plant, I mean, no one wants anyone to be flexible or ‘do their own thing,’ wielding such power and ability to do harm.

However, in most roles, an Authoritarian leadership style is going to devalue the individual in relation to the task. This is certainly a top-down leadership style that is also referred to as Autocratic. It is non-participative in that there is no real consideration given to the ideas or opinions of the employees.

This leadership is seen as power and control, and it is not shared. Wikipedia reports, “An authoritarian leadership style is exemplified when a leader dictates policies and procedures, decides what goals are to be achieved, and directs and controls all activities without any meaningful participation by the subordinates.[1] Such a leader has full control of the team, leaving low autonomy within the group.”

This basically leaves people eagerly looking for a chance to be heard, and even more so valued. People do not stay where they have a low threshold of freedom for long. Again, there are some personality types who love to be shown what to do and would not know what to do if left to their own thoughts, control, and devices. This is for compliance or what is referred to as ‘steady’ personality types.

The creatives, the idea people, inspiration, or motivation led will not be well served by this leadership style. It will suffocate them. You may be in an authoritarian led environment if you punch out for lunch or must alert someone to your bathroom breaks. I understand the style because there are personality types who take advantage of every opportunity you give them, so authoritarian leadership seeks to keep such people under a microscope. A better form of people management is a strong HR department that is able to read or ‘weed’ these personality types so those who do not need micro-management are able to feel free to work independently because people management is almost a case of feeling management nowadays.

It is very important to be able to cultivate a culture of trust and authoritarian leadership is seen as a sign that says, “I don’t trust you!” People want to like where they work and like who they work for, so if you find yourself dictating and using closed-ended sentences you may be using an authoritarian type of leadership style. If that is the case you may want to look into areas of diplomacy or a more laid-back leadership style to effect better people management.
Are you good at figuring what the other sex wants?
By: Dating Coach
Tags: Relationships, Love, Date, Sex, Coaching

Do your friends always come to you for dating advice?



Or are you often seen as the ‘matchmaker?’



If so then you might be missing out on an amazing opportunity!



Have you ever considered becoming a certified dating coach?



Seriously! More and more people are turning to online dating in a bid to find love.



And as a result, more of these people ae also turning to dating coaches to help them with this process.



And this could your ticket to a new career!



A career where you could earn a substantial amount of income online changing people’s lives!



You can learn more and register for a free webinar here https://bit.ly/2JgCyzl
Choose your stories
By: Lizzie Rhodes James
Tags: Health, Happiness, Leadership, Productivity, Coaching

Image by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Choose your stories

We know the easiest way to remember things is through stories

The most memorable are those that have strong emotions attached to them.

Thoughts create our stories.

Through our emotions, experiences, ambitions and dreams.

Thoughts are not real.

They are stories themselves that we have packed together to create our own.

As you take time to pause during a festive time.

What stories will you create

That will allow you to put your best foot forward

After the break?

This was originally published on my website here
Stripe Connect(Custom)×DirectChargeというアンチパターンからの大脱走
By: Yuki Matsuyama
Tags: Coaching, Technology, Stripe, Stripe Connect

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
Coaching Only Takes 3 Steps
By: Toku Mccree
Tags: Coach Training, Life Coaching, Leadership Coach, Life Coach, Coaching

Coaching Only Takes 3 Steps

Photo by David van Dijk on Unsplash

If I want to sell you on coaching, I will make it seem like it’s super difficult. And then like a magician (or a con artist) I’ll remove the barriers. I’ll tell you that I’ve got a magical map through the forest. One where all the traps and beasts are marked on it. If you use my map, you’ll be nice and safe.

But this is a lie.

Coaching isn’t complicated. It’s actually very very simple.

This is how coaching works.

First, you become possibility. You don’t talk strategy and offer suggestions. When you sit in front of the client you believe in and embody that anything is possible for them.

You breathe it. You embody it. You express it.

Second, you sit across from someone and you ask them what you want.

And you keep asking them until you can feel you’ve got it. You’ve got a hold of what they really want. Not the strategy, the thing they think they can get, or the thing they think they should want. But the thing they actually want.

Third, you find out what keeps them from getting it. What stops them or how they stop themselves. You explore it until you understand it completely. Until both of you know this thing with the intimacy of your own breath.

That’s it.

Be possibility.

Find out what people want.

Becoming intimate with what’s in the way.

It’s not complicated.

All the tools, questions, and processes are really just designed to help you do that.

Be possibility.

Find out what people want.

Become intimate with the obstacles.

So simple and also quite challenging. The simplicity itself is perhaps the biggest challenge.

That’s why at some point learning more doesn’t help.

The only thing that helps is practice and being.

The practice of keeping it simple.

The practice of being possibility.

The practice of standing for your client no matter how they show up.

Don’t make it complicated so you can avoid the challenge.

Keep it simple, so you can fully embrace it.

Love,

Toku

PS If you are ready to embrace the simplicity and become a master coach, apply for the summer session of The Embodied Coach Mastermind
Bringing your Kharacter to life: №001
By: Coach Kertesz
Tags: Personal Development, Character Development, Journalling, Wellbeing, Coaching

Welcome to the Kharacter Series

The Kharacter series strives to share with you what it takes to craft your own authentic character. This series will open you mind to what you require to discover your authentic self, and the realisation of the skills and practices you need to experience and achieve your own personal excellence. An authentic understanding of your character, that is who you are and what you are to do in this life, is needed to build sincere motivation and lasting grit towards the pursuit of any goal in your life. Without this, you will fall short and die wondering.

Throughout this series there will be foundational ideas shared, along with storytelling to help you conceptualise the purpose of each topic. From this point you will be challenged to apply the concepts to your own personal situation. This can be challenging and may require further support and teaching to do this, however it is important to remember during these potential frustrations that in the chaos that is human life nothing stays the same. As humans we are always evolving, course correcting with the wind as we connect new and old experiences to reach our final destination. The aim of this final destination is the daily living of our undeniable true selves no matter the circumstances.

This being said, please be patient with yourself in digesting the ideas presented, and exploring these in your own life’s situation. You may feel you are not able to completely align the topic to your situation, or you may not be initially happy with what you have provided to yourself. This is okay, and is a part of the process. Let your thoughts linger in your mind’s eye over the coming days, weeks, months, and come back to the posts and topics to continue to evolve and chisel your true character.

Please follow on through this series and deepen your understanding of what is involved in building your character and achieving your own personal excellence.

Sincerely,

Coach Kertesz
The flip side of a to do list
By: Lizzie Rhodes James
Tags: Health, Happiness, Productivity, Leadership Development, Coaching

Photo by Fabrice Villard on Unsplash

The flip side of a to do list.

What is the reason for your to do list?

Is it the product

Of

A

Report or

The completion of a craft.

A presentation for sharing

Or

A change

Of behaviours.

@feastandfables shared a great little twist.

When at Do Wales of The Do Lectures they had a shift.

Rather than creating a to do list they

Paused.

And started to create a to be list.

What will be your to be list of 2021?

Originally posted here on my website
Fantastic article!
Tags: Money, Business, Scams, Startup, Coaching

Fantastic article! I was taken in by a scam business coach myself (I just wrote an article me about it actually!).

I’m so glad people are starting to wake up and see these gurus for the fraudsters they are!
IAS ACADEMY IN CHANDIGARH "ALL PERSON need to ENDEAVOR TO FOLLOW what's RIGHT, & NOT what's…
Tags: Academy, Ias Preparation, Teachers, Institute, Coaching

IAS ACADEMY IN CHANDIGARH

"ALL PERSON need to ENDEAVOR TO FOLLOW what's RIGHT, & NOT what's ESTABLISHED."

You all young men and ladies aspire to hitch a better government officials because it offers a challenging career in government service with instant prominence, immense respect and descent salary. this provides them tremendous opportunities for direct involvement publicly affairs by holding responsible positions, relatively at a way younger age as compared to other services in government. IAS is one among the foremost prestigious exam held by UPSC per annum

RN CAREER GROUP provides the Best IAS Coaching In Chandigarh

It consists of three tiers that's Preliminary stage, Mains stage & last being Interview. RN CAREER GROUP will provide the detailed Descriptive Statistical Knowledge of General Studies exams and that we have best faculty for Optional subjects. RN Career Group is different from another institution because we've limited batch of intellectual students and these students are given ample time by our teachers with purview of there excellence. If you would like to require a read the ocean of data than you're at the proper place to explore and exacavate yourself in our institution to consummate your AMBITION

SOURCE : http://rncareergroup.com/ias-coaching-in-chandigarh.html
What’s in it for you…the next 12 months
By: Tina Werner
Tags: Health, Love, 2020, Self Improvement, Coaching

Take Life in your hands.

How did 2020 fare for you?

Was it a wake up call?

It was for me! I realized what I was spending too much time on and what I want to do more of!

Number 1 → Take care of ME (This is not selfish) You need to be the person you want/need to be to provide the best to your friends and family.

Number 2 →Do the job/career you were meant to do. Don’t stress yourself out with long hours. You need to be appreciated. It’s not all about the money.

Number 3 →Who do you spend your time with? I spent too many hours and weekends away from my family and friends! I was a YES Man! Sure I can do that…I can help you!! No STOP!! You need to choose what’s best for you.

Number 4 →Plan. Schedule time to work. Plan time to play. Make sure you have rest and reset time for your body and mind. Play creates creative breakthroughs. Your brain is not meant to go all the time. It’s meant for rest and fun.

Number 5 → Time. Clocks don’t stop. Winter is here and we may need to slow down and reflect. Journaling is a great way to keep track of the moments you have experienced. Write what makes you HAPPY or what makes you CRY…we are human! Feel it!

What do you want to accomplish in the next 12 months? Who do you want to spend more time with? Are you the person you want to be?

Take a moment to reflect and write down 3 goals for the next month and 3 goals for the next year.

Be the Best YOU!! Be kind and LOVE.

Coach Tina
How to fail 2021? An anti-guide to New Year resolutions
By: Anna Gross
Tags: Best Year Ever, New Year 2021, Annagross, New Year Resolution, Coaching

This brief article is meant for those among us who like to set up new goals and New Year resolutions and remarkably fail them.

2020 showed that classical goal setting (for example, SMART) does not always work and therefore in this article, in a half-joke and half-serious form, we want to show you how to build anti-goals.

There are easy steps which we need to follow in order to fail any of our New Year resolutions:

Step 1. Before 2020 ends, set SMART goals for the next year

Step 2. Forget to review your goals in January 2021

Step 3. Forget to review them in all the following months until December 2021

Step 4. Don’t follow your intuition

Step 5. Don’t rely on your gut feelings

Step 6. Confuse yourself by following various predictions of your future

Step 7. Do not create / develop and follow your own vision

Step 8. Hope for the best

Good luck and a Happy New Year!

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players…”

(W. Shakespeare, As You Like It)

We believe that each and every one of us is not only a leading actor but first and foremost a writer of our own destiny. Overwhelmed by life events, we may unintentionally forget that we are the sole playwrights of our own lives. We may even unwittingly drop or lose the thread of our unfolding life story. Then, we start questioning ourselves and let others do the writing for us. Doesn’t this happen to all of us occasionally? The best thing we can do is to resume the leadership as soon as we can: only we should write the play of our life!

With the renewed confidence and new skills, we design new perspectives. Coaching and training are some of the best instruments we use to achieve this goal.
WHAT THE LEGACY PROJECT *CAN’T* BE
By: Everything You Do Is Amazing
Tags: Change, Success, Coaching

This goes for all my coaching programs…

IT CAN’T BE:

It can’t be just a series of “aha!” moments.

It can’t be just an interesting learning process.

It can’t be just fun or entertaining.

It can’t be just temporary bonding and pleasing rapport with others.

It can’t be something to engage in just for now, just to occupy your mind at the moment.

It can’t be frivolous or trivial.

It can’t be BS.

IT MUST BE:

It must be real change.

It must be foundational.

It must be lasting.
Next level burnout and how to avoid it
By: Shelley Stevens Life Coach
Tags: Burnout, Burnout Prevention, Life Lessons, Coaching

Burnout used to be something we mainly said about work. It became a badge of honor to proclaim how “stressed out” we were because it was an understood indicator of how busy and important we were as career women. In conversation, it was usually accompanied by how many hours we worked or emails received, as proof points that had paved the way to our success.

In reading the book Burnout by sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski, I’ve learned a lot more about how burnout affects us as women. And how what could be seen as a badge of honor when tied to work, becomes shameful when tied to relationships and parenting. What does it say about your relationship to your loved ones if you are so very tired of caring for them? So tired, that in fact all you want to do is stream as much Netflix as possible before the next tour of duty begins.

Turns out that a phrase somewhat new to me has been buried in academia for 40+ years: emotional exhaustion. And within the lexicon of burnout, it’s described as “the element that’s most strongly linked to negative impacts on our health, relationships, and work — especially for women.” Emotional exhaustion is “the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long.” It is what happens when we get stuck in an emotion and continually repeat the cycle — Can you feel that? I sure can.

You’ve heard the phrase “feel your feelings”? This is advice that I avoided so much that when life smacked me upside the head I had no other choice but to marinate in them daily. And yes, it was exhausting, but at times it was also exhilarating. Most of the time we think we are allowing our emotions but we may be repeating old patterns like being a “good” girl and stuffing them down or buffering them away with food, booze, drugs and my personal favorite — shopping.

Weirdly, the one thing that I thought would make me feel worse actually ended up making me feel better because our experience of life comes from within us, not outside of us 100% of the time. In the life coaching work that I do, we have a model for understanding where our emotions come from, which ultimately helps us manage them in a way that can turn down the heat on burnout.