When You Get Kicked from Behind
By: Brad G. Philbrick
Tags: Business Development, Business Relationships, Listening Skills, Respect, Organizational Culture

Today most everyone is in a position of leadership. If one does not lead an organization, one presides over a team or a focus group. Even if one is not the designated leader, one still contributes. And most importantly, one needs to listen.

Leadership articles, books, and presentations abound. Nothing is wrong with being a leader, especially a good leader. An old proverb claims we have too many cooks in the kitchen. I don’t think so. If they excel at cooking and communicate well, an excellent dinner will result. A superb leader knows how to take the heat. But again, communication is the key and, most notably, the ability to listen.

Unfortunately, most of us came across an executive whose ability to listen suffered at some point in our career. Workaholics suffer from horrendous listening skills. Often young leaders with little coaching or a good mentor demonstrate poor listening skills too. Poor leaders do not know whom they are leading.

A significant reason one does not his people is that he does not listen effectively. What’s worse, often, the manager does not even know why.

I worked for a struggling company whose CEO possessed dreadful listening skills. When another individual attempted to speak, the distressed CEO interrupted with constant, “Yup, yup, yup” or no kidding.” When being part of the group discussion or presentation, I could see that my failing leader was not listening at all. His mind was racing to find and think what he would say when he got the floor back. Often he gained time to speak by interrupting, attacking, and berating the other speaker.

The struggling leader gets attacked, usually from behind. Respect is lost, productivity suffers, and more time goes wasted on attempts to undermine the wrongful leader. Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, a renowned Roman Catholic Bishop, wrote, “When you are getting kicked from the rear, it means you are in front.”

It is time for the failing leader to know that not only is he or she getting kicked from behind, but why. How does one accomplish that? It starts by becoming an excellent listener.

Healthcare providers demand that they take continuing education courses to maintain their professional licenses. All those in the financial arena, too, governing boards require more education. Then so do attorneys, engineers, Then as leaders, we fill our plates with management skills, organizational development education, personnel laws, and finally even regulations for required certification in dealing with assaults and attacks on your place of employment.

But the skill overlooked by organizations and businesses is teaching their colleagues how to listen.

Listening is a skill and one that requires constant refining. Many authors wrote entire books on the art of listening, so a short article cannot cover it all. Here are some pointers to begin developing one’s listening skills:

1. Start asking questions. You will gain much insight into your team members if you ask questions and note their answers.

2. The renowned teacher on speaking, Dale Carnegie, advises leaders to take an interest in others. A respected leader can bestow no greater compliment upon another than a sincere interest in the feelings, likes, and desires of a fellow human being

3. Observe your need to talk. If you feel the need to speak often and too much, you hinder effective communication. You know the adage: we receive one mouth and two ears. We are to listen twice as much as we talk.

4. Remember this. The more you talk, the less you listen. And the more you talk, the fewer others will listen. You can only hold one’s attention for a short period. Take time to stop talking and ask for questions and thoughts.

Make today the great day to begin the self-study of learning to be a better listener. Be assured there is always something new to be discovered. Successful leaders and entrepreneurs are effective listeners. Stimulating the stream of information coming to you makes you a better leader, a much better entrepreneur, and a more beloved colleague.