My Challenge to Male Business Students: Read “Lean In”
By: Journey Hayes
Tags: Learning, Women In Business, Education, Leadership, Business

After all, I’ve read dozens of books about men

Unsplash: Lala Azizli

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” — Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In

Sometimes I forget that male and female brains run using two completely different languages. Case in point: my boyfriend and I were driving back from Trader Joe’s yesterday when we started discussing our least favorite part about crowded bars. For me, it was worrying that someone slipped something into my drink. For my boyfriend, it was worrying that he wouldn’t be able to best other guys in the bar in a fight.

As a woman studying finance, I spend a great deal of time analyzing the male brain. Cases in point:

I’ve grown used to male working styles as the only girl in most group projects and club meetings

At least 80% of the time I reach out for a networking call, I agonize whether to cut down on exclamation points because I’m emailing a man

I’m emailing a man Almost every investing- or business-related book I’ve written has been written by a man, for a mostly male audience, and features an all-male or mostly-male cast (Take the current book on my nightstand, Barbarians at the Gate, where every decision-maker is a man and women are limited to the role of supportive wife or demanding wife)

That’s not to say my peers aren’t willing to learn. The other day, I had a call with a student one year my junior who is taking over as a leader in our investment club. We talked for over an hour about the issues I faced as one of the only girls in the room and how he could be a better leader of both genders.

To my surprise, he was more than receptive. He was curious. He asked about my experiences and came up with ideas on the spot regarding how he could make the club more inclusive for younger females. At the end of the call, he thanked me for sharing my experience, as many of the problems I brought up had never even occurred to him.

I, and most other young women in finance, spend so much time analyzing the male brain, and this (great) conversation reminded me that it’s rarely a two-way analysis.

But why shouldn’t it be?

That, then, is my challenge to my male peers: spend some time analyzing the female brain.

Sheryl Sandberg advises sitting at the table, maintaining a “relentlessly pleasant” demeanor, and speaking our truth, but that becomes exponentially easier to do when men are aware of the reasons why we need to swallow this advice in the first place.

An example: one of my male friends who led another investment club surprised me once by revealing that he had read Lean In.

Both of my eyebrows immediately launched sky high. “Really? Why?”

He shrugged, saying “my sister liked it.” As a result of this, I’ve come to him with ideas for making our college finance community more inclusive for women. Now, his investment club has three women sitting on its executive board (as opposed to the much more common zero).

I wish more of my peers were like this friend. I wish I knew that more of my peers were making the same effort to understand me that I make on a daily basis to understand them. I’m confident that one read of Lean In dramatically diminishes this cognitive barrier.

In more concrete terms: boys, the marginal utility of your tenth investing book is MUCH smaller than the marginal utility of one read of Lean In.