The 5 Things Holding You Back (And What You Can Do to Change the Pattern)
By: Julie Little
Tags: Wellness Coaching, Habits For Success, Strategy, Goals In Life, Wellbeing

We often tell our friends that we would really like to do something great, unique, or impressive in the new year, or next summer, or next month. The problem is that many people talk about doing things, but then fall short when it comes to getting things accomplished. If this seems like you, at least some of the time, then you might want to take a look at the 5 things that might be holding you back.

You may feel a lack of confidence or feel unworthy of the accomplishment that you are hoping to reach.You have the desire to reach a goal, you just dont really believe that you can do it. You may be grasping to the old ways or the old circumstances. Even if you do not think the old way is a good way, sometimes familiar ways are just more comfortable. We all have a wish or even a need to keep things at the most comfortable level, even when we know something else might be even better. You may have a habit of listening to your inner self-talk that does not support your goals. You may hear the voice in your head saying that you really don’t need anything new or better, or that it will just be too hard to move forward. It’s easier to just stay the way things have always been. We always deal with the fear of the unknown. We may know that what we deal with isn’t the greatest, but the unknown still causes us to be afraid of moving forward. Sometimes we are pretty sure that the “known” has got to be better than something that we know nothing about. You may be feeling overwhelmed or burned out. These feelings make it super hard to make changes, or reach for the goals that you’ve always wanted to reach. During times of overwhelm, you feel that you can barely keep your head above water each day.

Now, what can be done?



When we take these feelings and fears apart and look at them clearly, sometimes we can take “turtle” steps toward what we want in life.



Emotions like fear, overwhelm, and sadness can hold us back as long as we are doing everything we can to avoid feeling them. The avoidance controls our behavior, so that we will do anything to not feel badly. Negative self-talk holds us back as long as we listen and take it seriously, as rule or law. These things are so common, we all experience them, and sometimes they actually have helped us, to keep us safe. This is our “ego” talking, making sure that we avoid the things that could hurt us.



But if you have something good or nourishing for you that you would like to do or move forward with, you can find ways to bypass these negative fears and thoughts that try to control how you behave and what you do.



An example might be a new exercise routine. It might be healthy and beneficial in many ways. There might not be any way that this new routine could hurt you. But you still avoid it because it’s different, new, or too time-consuming. Maybe it won’t work, and wouldn’t it be better to just sit and watch a movie?



Maybe you finally make a decision, you are truly motivated to start eating better, exercising, paying off a credit card, or looking for someone wonderful to date. These are great goals and you know that they are good for you. They will add to your life in some way. So what should you do?



If you are motivated to move in this new direction, here is where you can bypass some of those old ego messages and calm the voices or negative self-talk in your head. The motivation is key here! If you really want to make a change, then you can make some small changes that will make it possible.



You can start by adding positive self-talk messages daily, either in writing, out loud to yourself, or both. You can also ask yourself about the fear of change: Is this really true? Will I really hate it if I make these small changes? Or will I find there are benefits?



I call these ‘turtle steps,’ the very small, consistent steps that will combat the negative ideas and fears that you have been dealing with for many years.



You can get unstuck even when your habits or ideas have often made it hard to make progress. This can be simple yet very challenging to do. Getting someone to help out and listen to you as you make these changes can make or break your success. As I have made big changes or tried to do something different, having someone hold me accountable has always made all the difference in the world!



I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect, you can reach me via email (julie.little52@gmail.com) or connect with me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/Jlittlehealth) or my website (jlittlehealth.com). Also, you can find my book on Amazon — here is the link to buy it: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1636765858.