The Uncanny Power of Incompetent Men
By: Danny Wallace
Tags: Boris Johnson, Self, Work, Competence, Leadership

The Uncanny Power of Incompetent Men

Inspired by the legendary ineptitude of the U.K.’s new prime minister, Boris Johnson, you too can use your incompetence to succeed beyond your wildest imaginings

New Prime Minister Boris Johnson waves from Number 10, Downing Street. Photo: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

When Boris Johnson made his way to Buckingham Palace yesterday to inform the queen of England that he would form a government, the world’s media did not mince words in its assessment of the new prime minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

“Tinpot Trump,” said the Germans. Denmark called him “a clown.” And one French newspaper described him as, simply, “an incompetent jester.”

Johnson’s incompetence is not news to Britain. The former London mayor known universally as “Boris” has done almost nothing well. There has been no speech unmarred by his ill-preparedness, no photo opportunity that has not led to ridicule, no diplomatic encounter free of gaffes.

And yet, as Boris walked through the doors of №10 Downing St., there was little doubt that he has nailed it. In fact, Boris’ incompetence is arguably key to his unstoppable rise. With each ridiculous performance (remember that time he fell into a river during a photo op?), the people only wanted more.

The question of whether Boris’ incompetence is real or an elaborate act is a legitimate subject of debate among pundits. But one thing is clear: In an era of global buffoonery, incompetence is the quality world leaders should cultivate.

Welcome to the era of post-competence.

And why not? The incompetent have always been represented among our leaders — our teachers, our bosses, our politicians. The reasons turn out to be remarkably simple. Read on to learn how you can use your incompetence to succeed beyond your wildest imaginings. Welcome to the era of post-competence.

Be a man

This one is easier for some than for others. But if you are to really excel in your incompetence, be male. As Hillary Clinton can attest, it is not unusual to reward an incompetent man over a competent woman.

This year, women run just 6.6% of the Fortune 500 companies. And that pitiful percentage is an all-time high. In his book Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic argues that women are, generally, the better leaders. “Women have better people skills, more altruistic, better able to control their impulses,” he told the Financial Times. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to display narcissism, a personality type disproportionately found among leaders. Chamorro-Premuzic told the Financial Times, “[T]raits like overconfidence and self-absorption should be seen as red flags,” but instead, “They prompt us to say: ‘Ah, there’s a charismatic fellow! He’s probably leadership material.’”

The deck is stacked against women when it comes to pursuing leadership roles. Psycholinguist and cognitive scientist Virginia Valian argues that cultural assumption is one factor. “Evaluators see leadership and professional ability as masculine traits that are valued more positively when displayed by men than when displayed by women,” she wrote in her book Why So Slow? The Advancement of Women.

When a man says he can do the job, regardless of evidence, we believe him. We ask a woman to prove it, and then we she does, we don’t like her anymore.

Be confident

The difference between confidence and competence is enormous. But in every aspect of our lives, the two are so easy to confuse.

As important as looking the part is walking the walk — a vital strategy to getting your incompetence ignored. Speak loudly and confidently, even if you have no idea what you’re talking about.

In the workplace, those in charge are more likely to listen to the loudest voice in the room, no matter the person’s actual ability, found Nicole Jones Young, a professor of organizational behavior at Franklin and Marshall College.

“Alarmingly, recent research suggests that we are so captivated by arrogance that we are happy to reward it even when we know it’s coupled with incompetence,” Chamorro-Premuzic wrote in Fast Company. “That is, even when we know that people are not as good as they think, we are seduced by their hubris and prefer them to people who are self-aware, let alone modest. This is why we often end up selecting incompetent men over competent women for leadership roles.”

We confuse overconfidence with knowledge and impulsiveness with decisiveness. The knock-on effect is that a glut of inept men in power promote other inept men. Soon, inept men are everywhere, braying like horses and taking long lunches and actively reducing the chances of more competent people being given more senior roles.

Quell any doubts about your own competence

Imposter syndrome, or worrying that you are not fully competent, is often a sign of competence. Conversely, having no doubts whatsoever about one’s competence is generally a sign of incompetence. It is an inability to see oneself in the eyes of others, take in results, or understand basic criticisms.

A 2011 study published in the Leadership Quarterly journal showed that low self-confidence is a trait that enhances leadership, bringing with it self-criticism, an ability to see faults that could be improved or to anticipate problems over the horizon. But these leaders can be a bummer to be around. We want people in charge who’ll tell us everything is going to be brilliant and won’t get bogged down by the details indicating that’s not at all true.

In a recent BBC interview, Boris Johnson explained that his entire plan for the U.K.’s departure from the EU with a potentially disastrous “no deal” relied upon paragraph 5b of the General Agreement of Trade and Tariffs. It sounded good. Boris said it with confidence and finality. But then he was asked if he had actually read paragraph 5c, which would significantly undermine the plan he laid out. “No,” he said.

In his tenure as London mayor, Boris also left behind an impressive array of multimillion-pound blunders, ranging from a failed plan to build an airport on an artificial island to the “Boris buses” that become sweltering saunas on wheels in summer. Far from apologizing for these snafus, Boris came off as “bored with the whole concept of politics and taking responsibility,” an opposition politician told the New York Times. “I wouldn’t trust him to feed my cat.”

Confidence is power, and it often powers incompetence. Whether in your office or at a podium, project an air of authority and people will let you, too, carry out terrible ideas.

Be posh or rich, with an elite education

“Hand everyone thine ear but none thy chat,” said William Shakespeare.

In fact, he didn’t. Not even close. But by starting with a Shakespeare quote, I’m projecting my learning, my education, and my right to tell someone like you all this stuff like an expert.

The effect of loud-talking in a workplace is advanced if the speaker has also gone to a college seen as “good,” Jones found. And indeed, you only have to look at the recent U.S. college admissions bribery scandal to understand the social and workplace currency placed in having gone to the “right” school.

For his part, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson went to Eton and Oxford. And his rise to the top of British politics shows exactly how the British class system works. Take a posh white man with unshakeable confidence that he can “get on and do the job,” and ignore every single item in a CV that might as well be titled “Catalogue of Disasters.”

Conservative MP Jacob Rees-Mogg arrives at Downing Street on July 24, 2019 in London, England. Photo: Leon Neal/Getty Images

The MP for North East Somerset, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who regularly speaks in Latin and looks like a Victorian ghost no one has had the heart to tell is dead, is a second prime example of this style over substance and the British willingness to doff its cap to a posh accent while ignoring what that accent is saying. He is the man who used the word “floccinaucinihilipilification” in Parliament. It is testament to the national sense of restraint that he was not immediately arrested.

Instead, Rees-Mogg was appointed leader of the House of Commons yesterday — by Boris Johnson.

Be good company at the pub

Boris is overwhelmingly the politician most people in the U.K. would want to go for a drink with, and in Britain that holds incredible currency. In his crumpled suit and with one sock worn inside out, Boris has successfully presented himself as a kind of authentic bloke, the very opposite of the slick and crisp-shirted politicians of the 2000s’ “Cool Britannia.”

He has intentionally cultivated the nationally adored Wodehousian image of a man who can’t even comb his own hair. It’s a pretty open secret that in the seconds before walking out onto a stage for a public appearance, he will mess that mop up. Give the people the Boris they want.

And Boris — our sole first-name-only politician, the Beyoncé of Westminster — boasts another quality important to Brits: He knows his way around a joke. He can be disarming, charming, and even self-deprecating. This comedic ability has allowed him to say incredibly racist things and get away with it, because it’s “just a joke” or the country is “losing its sense of humor.”

It’s easy to imagine that Boris might one day star in his own animated Saturday morning children’s show called Oh, Boris! in which he accidentally knocks the queen off a boat and then says something appalling to a Chinese man.

And for years he has traded on this charmingly disheveled, good-for-a-laugh persona, bumbling affably through TV show appearances and self-deprecatingly laughing at his own expense.

We will welcome the charming incompetent, because they don’t feel like a threat. But what if we open the door, and then it turns out they are?

Get competent handlers

As I write these words, Boris Johnson is installed in №10 Downing St., reportedly composing four handwritten letters to be locked in safes and opened in the event of nuclear attack. This is the same man who once got stuck on a zip wire, wearing a little blue helmet and waving two tiny flags.

Former Mayor of London Boris Johnson got stuck on a zip-line during BT London Live in Victoria Park on August 01, 2012 in London, England. Photo: Barcroft Media/Getty Images

The terrifying idea of Boris Johnson being responsible for the safety and welfare of millions probably doesn’t worry Boris himself much. A key quality for powerful people is their own unshakable belief in their own abilities and the conviction that they are the right man for the job.

But even for better leaders than Boris, the notion that “power corrupts” is borne out by brain science: Studies have found that people under the influence of power “acted as if they had suffered a traumatic brain injury — becoming more impulsive, less risk-aware, and, crucially, less adept at seeing things from other people’s point of view.”

And the truly powerful tend to see themselves through a warped lens. In studies conducted by Gerben Van Kleef, a social psychologist at the University of Amsterdam, powerful people were asked where they get their inspiration or what inspires them. They tended not to write about others but about themselves — how brilliant they are and how they inspired themselves with their own inspiring actions.

The researchers then played less powerful people’s impressive stories: tales of recovery, or achievement, or heroism. The powerful people listened quite patiently, but then afterward said that, actually, they still found their own stories more inspiring.

As Boris settles into his new digs, it’s tempting to reassure ourselves that he’ll have the best people, the “great minds” around him to prevent catastrophe. Similarly, with Donald Trump, there is the notion that there are “grown-ups” in the White House secretly controlling him. (Though when MSNBC asked Donald Trump in 2016 who he seeks advice from on foreign policy, Trump replied without hesitation, “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain.”)

There is a strong sense that these men need more competent people to look after them and do the actual work of leadership — which I would argue is not a quality you look for in a prime minister or president. Never do we fully ask ourselves: Why can’t one of those competent people be president? Can’t we have a great mind for prime minister?

Absolute incompetence paired with absolute power might sound like a recipe for disaster. But as Johnson himself said in 2004, after being fired for his “personal morality” from the post of shadow arts minister, “There are no disasters. Only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.”