Take Your Medicine: Networking as an Introvert
By: Brian Borchert
Tags: Networking, Listening, Introvert

Harken back to your childhood: you, as a sick child, being spoon fed that foul tasting medication by a parent to put you on the mend quickly.

Fast forward and the professional equivalent of stomaching that artificial grape flavoring is professional networking as an introvert.

When people think about networking, they imagine themselves walking around a big event, trying their best to be extroverted. They think about shaking hands and exchanging business cards, with the hope that sometime in the not-so-distant future an unbelievable opportunity will fall right into their lap. — Nicholas Cole, 7 Best Practices for Networking That Actually Work

In a Harvard Business Review article, I identify with many people leaders who find networking to be “insincere or manipulative-at best, an elegant way of using people.” Personally, I’ve never been able to progress past the transactional nature of networking. Tied in with that transactional feeling, networking is also difficult for me because it makes you feel vulnerable in a sense. It’s asking for help and that’s something that I’ve never embraced with my introverted and individualistic nature. Karen Wickre captured this feeling perfectly in her IDEAS.TED.COM article, “[r]eaching out to ask someone to put in a good word to a hiring manager, or getting a lead about a new opening, can make you feel desperate (shouldn’t you be able to do this on your own??).”

So, what can us introverts do to grow our networks?

1. Lean on the people close to you.

Your really warm network are the people who truly care about you. Keep that in mind at all times. Search their LinkedIn profiles and ask if they are willing to introduce you to two or three people that you want to meet that they are connected with. Tell them your story or tell them what you want to achieve and ask if they know anyone in the field that you should meet. This is natural and safe networking and it almost always work with your really warm network.

2. Flattery and research will get you a long way.

Once you’ve exhausted your really warm network, you’re bound to start reaching out to acquaintances you don’t know as well or even contacts of those acquaintances. This is the time to do your homework. Research those contacts professional achievements and their personal interests. Being able to raise those achievements and to talk about personal interests, shows that you’re engaged in the conversation and also allows you to raise topics that make for smooth conversations (that can always be difficult for us introverts).

3. Be an active listener and share your story.

I’ve been part of painful conversations where it appeared the other person couldn’t have cared less about our discussion. It’s sad that it needs to be said but be an engaged listener! Lean foward, nod, make contact, and ask follow-up questions. Follow-up questions are a great tool to show that you’re really listening and also to expand the conversation and make a lasting bond. When it’s your turn to share your story, don’t be afraid to be candid and vulnerable. Tell your story, not the story that you think people want to hear. People appreciate authenticity and it quickly forms lasting relationships.

Do you have any strategies that you use to avoid painful networking (especially if you’re an introvert)? Please comment below. Likewise, this is my first foray into Medium articles. If have feedback, comments, and/or future article topic suggestions, please share!

Published By Brian Borchert