When Life Becomes Too Easy Entitlement Ensues
By: Nicole Akers
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Travel, Advice, Parenting

Struggle is Not Easy to Watch

Watching someone struggle is painful for the spectator. If you’re a parent, you may be tempted to swoop in and fix problems for your kids. Maybe there’s an injustice in the classroom where the teacher doesn’t like a kid. Or the coach consistently has little Johnny watching the season pass by on the bench. We’re tempted to say something, to right a wrong, but this teaches our kids to rely on us instead of developing personal strength. Will they learn that Mommy and Daddy jump in to solve their problems?

We’ve moved from helicopter parenting to bulldozer parenting, where parents fill out the job application for their college grads and attend the interview with them. Kids will do much better in life to fight their own battles. They learn more by going through the struggle than they ever will by having someone fix the problem for them.

In the workplace, this behavior manifests as a team leader who wants her team to succeed. A good manager wants success and good things for her team, but you cannot do the work for them. A challenging problem is solved faster next time because the team struggled to find a solution this time.

Please step back and foster growth to watch the team function at its optimum level.

It’s painful to go through a struggle. Possibly, it’s more painful to watch the struggle, but the results and ongoing life lessons are better for having gone through the uncomfortable experience. The struggle challenges us and teaches us at the same time. Many times, you’re better off for having struggled. You learn something about yourself and grow on a personal level as a result.

Anxiety is on the Rise

Teen anxiety is higher than in recent history: 1 in 3 teens will experience a mental health disorder, according to the CDC. Why are kids so anxious? Is it because life has gotten too easy for them and they don’t know how to struggle?

Constant access to electronics offers kids a false escape from boredom and from dealing with challenging emotional issues. Kids use their devices to avoid discomfort, says Psychology Today. When they forget their homework, they don’t deal with the embarrassment of the situation or even improvise with an excuse. Remember the proverbial, “the dog ate my homework?”

The same is true for sports practices when kids forget their gear. A quick text between passing periods gets sent to parents for delivery, and kids expect mom or dad to leave work so they don’t have to feel embarrassed. When I was a kid if I forgot my lunch at home, I didn’t eat lunch, and my hungry tummy taught me not to forget again, but schools don’t allow kids to go hungry today. They feed kids and charge the meal to the student account. Simply, kids aren’t learning emotional skills.

Kids Play Less

Going outside to play with friends is a nostalgic idea. After sports and extracurricular activities, kids used to go out to play, which is good for exercising and building social skills. More often than not, kids pick up a device and scroll through social media or retreat to their bedrooms to watch television instead of going to the couch to watch TV with the family. If they don’t like what’s on TV, they can go to another room and turn on a different device. Kids are entertained continuously and don’t know how to be alone with their own thoughts and feelings.

Parents Struggle with Anxiety Too

Parents who see themselves as friends and protectors rather than guides can be part of the problem. Guardians who are overprotective and try to shed where they came from to make life easier for their kids can raise entitled people, who in turn, perpetuate the behavior in successive generations. The job of being a parent is both a science and an art.

By building kids up, we can help them thrive. Not doing things for them and being overprotective, but in helping guide them through the process of doing for themselves.

Remember How to Struggle

Today we know so little about hard work that we create demons. Trials show up in emotional and mental anguish. We forget what hard work means, even though we say we believe in its ideal.

While most Americans say they believe in the ideals of hard work, only about 38% of them begin to understand what hard work really is, according to a Pew Research study.

My hard work is a light burden in comparison to previous generations. My kids don’t know hard work. Not really. The hard work I do is easy in comparison to others, and I’ll presume it’s similar for you too.

Embrace a Full Life

To fully live, we have to remember what it’s like to struggle. Maybe we’re too comfortable enjoying an easy life that we’ve forgotten how to embrace struggle. We’re fostering a society of anxious people instead of resilient people. It’s time to change your story and build up mentally strong people.

Change your mind and change your life by writing a new story for yourself, your kids, and your environment. How will you do it?