7 Simple Steps to a Happy Family
By: Eric Sangerma
Tags: Relationships, Family, Life, Lifestyle, Parenting

1. Make Time for Each Other

Here are two simple ways you can improve things:

Just Have Fun

Quality time with your family doesn’t need to be complicated. While staying at home is becoming the new norm it can be fun.

Playing a board game, watching a movie, or, my favorite one, hide and seek, will strengthen the bonds between you and your loved ones — anything beyond that is optional.

Limit Your Kids’ After-School Activities

If you’re a parent, you are under immense pressure to provide your child with the best opportunities possible. You may be tempted to sign them up for numerous after-school activities. The rationale is simple enough: kids need the opportunity to learn new skills and interact with new people.

However, research shows that this often cuts into family time, which can cause more harm than good (Wheeler & Green 2018). Always keep in mind that your children benefit the most from spending time with you and engaging in free play.

2. Communication Has to Be Consistent

Open communication is the only way you can make sure that every family member gets their needs met. However, it isn’t enough to tell your loved ones that you’re happy to listen to them. You have to put in the effort to demonstrate this every day.

A few ways to make sure your partner and children feel heard:

Ask about their day, even if you are tired and distracted. Pay attention when they talk, be fully present, and don’t check your phone while listening.

Celebrate their victories — if something is making them happy, be happy along with them.

Don’t belittle their interests as a joke.

Be honest about your day, and don’t assume that they won’t care about your interests.

In-jokes are an excellent way to build rapport, even with young children.

3. Create an Atmosphere of Kindness

You can use your body language to show your family that you’re interested in what they have to say. Sitting next to each other makes conversation easier than sitting across from each other. When buying furniture, prioritize comfort and coziness over style.

But that’s not the only way to create a homey, nurturing environment. Dim lighting can help decrease family tensions. Try to cut back on background noise, which includes whirring appliances as well as the TV being on without anyone watching it.

Most importantly, avoid yelling whenever possible. Never corner your loved ones when speaking to them. If your temper starts getting the better of you, the best thing to do is walk away and cool down.

4. Your Family Rituals Should Fit Your Family

Family rituals are very important in the development of young children. (Spagnola & Fiese 2007).

Scientists found that teenagers and young adults also benefit from established family rituals (Yoon 2012). Marriages can be strengthened by them too (Bruess & Pearson 2002).

All in all, every happy family needs rituals to function well. However, these do not have to follow any expected pattern — for example, there’s no need to insist on a lavish Sunday Brunch at all costs. A weekly pizza night can be enough.

Rituals should be flexible, and they need to fit your family’s tastes and habits. They will likely develop naturally over time, so all you have to do is keep them alive.

5. Build Bridges Toward Older Generations

If you have a strong, positive relationship with your parents, spending time with them will have a good effect on your partner and children. Learning about your family history can give you and your kids a sense of belonging. Even more importantly, spending time with your parents or in-laws can be a great way to relax.

And don’t wait for Christmas or birthdays to visit them. Take holiday trips and build memories together. Last summer we took the children and my dad on a 2-week camping trip. We’re still talking about it today.

Other older relatives can fulfill the same role if your parents aren’t available for whatever reason. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your extended family — you may discover new family ties that are worth nurturing.

6. Don’t Let Chores Become a Problem

Unequal distribution of housework is a major cause of conflicts in the home. If one family member has to take care of everything, they will inevitably become stressed, exhausted, and it could negatively impact their health (Dembe & Yao 2016).

On the other hand, a messy home can be frustrating and even unsafe. Instead of letting the resentment (or the dirty dishes) build up, it’s important to make sure everyone does their part. Don’t leave young children out of the planning — the sooner kids start taking part in housework, the easier it will be for them to do it routinely.

To prevent conflicts, discuss chores in advance and maintain a flexible schedule. Doing chores together can even become a family ritual, and putting some music on is one of many ways to make it fun.

7. Always Be Ready to Change

Being too rigid can have a major negative impact on your family life. Your spouse or partner will go through changes, and so will you. Your children will mature and develop new interests and ways of seeing the world.

Let this happen, and try to stay as open to it as possible. Adapt to your family members, and allow yourself to change along with them.