Growth, Shmowth, I Want More Free Time and More Sleep!
By: Marilyn Flower
Tags: Self, Mental Health, Life Lessons, Time Management, Self Improvement

One thing about COVID, boy can you cram all those ZOOM MEETINGS back to back to back. With no time in between to do the assignments I take on IN the meetings.

Somehow I have it in my mind that 2021 being a new year right after a bit of a holiday break-hope! Hope!-would be a great time to make some course corrections. To really focus on the big priorities of my life.

So first of all, what are those big priorities in my life? Cause If I am not clear about them, the cream won’t rise to the top.

I once wrote an article: If I’m spread so thin, how come I’m still fat? All kidding aside, I’m just a girl who can’t seem to say no, who ends up taking more and more on — does that make me a mor-on?

I like that. I might spell it more-on…but it helps me remember that over-committing is not a smart thing for me to be doing. If my new expression works for you, you’re welcome to borrow it!

Moronic or not, I can say it’s a recipe for burnout, anxiety, and depression. It makes me want to throw in the towel and not do anything. Yet, that is not the answer.

What is?

What I am learning is I need to be crystal clear on my priorities and to know why they are my priorities. MY personal, from-my-heart priorities. Not other people’s priorities for me. Or that which I tell myself I can’t stop doing, because either someone will be mad, or it won’t get done.

I wonder if I have an ego trip going that gives me kudos for being the Jill of many trades or the juggler extraordinaire keeping multiple balls in the air.

Yo! Have you heard of gravity? Sooner or later, those balls crash to the ground. And me with them? That’s what it feels like sometimes.

What’s my priority, and why?

The two biggest areas of activity in my life are “all things writing” and “all things church.” I word them this way to remind myself that within each, there are many sub-components. The question is, what is the cream in each that needs to rise to the top?

In my writing life, the cream is my novel. While I love all my writing projects, if I could only do one, this would be it. Set in a heartland church with quirky characters, it combines humor, spirituality, and social satire. I’m envisioning it as a series called Too Sexy for my Church.

I’m currently editing it with support from a mentor and workshop. Progress is slow but steady. In one 6 month stint, I edited 5 chapters, which seems like a lot. But with 35 chapters, at that rate, it’ll be 3 years.

That’s too slow. The editing needs to be done so I can get on with querying potential agents. So this is urgent.

In addition, I blog on Medium, write and perform poetry, compile post series into potential ebooks, and do my best to maintain a half-way decent presence on social media related to my writing.

My to-do list is much longer than my done-do list. I easily get overwhelmed, unable to figure out how to use an available 30-minute slot except for my Medium writing. This piece is being written in 15 and 30-minute windows of time…Fortunately, I can and do do that!

I don’t seem to know how best to use my time and get the other things done. I seem to keep them inching along, but it’s harder to reach completion and move on.

My church life is at least this complex.

My heart work there is helping craft worship and praying with folks as a Prayer Chaplain. This feels like a sustainable as well as significant contribution.

I also serve on our Board of Directors. This year as the Board President.

What a great experience! The current Board is a dream team; we work together well. I’ve grown as a leader, learning so much! People appreciate how I hold the space and our work — routine or complex — as holy.

When you add all three areas together, it’s a lot. Is it “too much? If that was my primary avocation, maybe not. When you add the writing in, maybe so.

There’s a lot of cross-pollination because much of my writing is spiritual, and much of my church work is written. But there are only so many hours in a day. I need more of them to be spent sleeping.

I’ve been treating church like it’s my day job even though I am not getting paid. And writing as my hobby, even though I’m making some money, looking to make more.

What if I switched the two?

Made writing the day job, and church the volunteer hobby. What would that look like? How would it be different? What would it take to do?

This brings me to the big decision, which is the prompt after all.

2021 needs to be more focused, better rested, less stressful, and more productive. It seems that doing fewer things with more care and attention is the way to go — quality over quantity.

For that to happen, something has to give. Or at least shift.

Today I tried on the switch idea, just for practice. That meant putting boundaries on my writing time and treating it as sacrosanct. That meant telling folks I would be busy till 5 pm, but available for quick questions between 2 and 3 pm.

They worked with that. For my part, I had to focus on my writing and not trip about church issues during that time. That’s the growing edge for me.

In the past, I would handle the church business first because it nagged at me, distracting me while writing. I needed the peace of mind that addressing it first and clearing the deck brings.

Going forward, can I focus on writing while church issues loom? And can I lighten my overall load? In a previous article, I shared how my watchword is prune. (LINK) What can I prune from my list of meaningful commitments?

Lightening my load allows me to focus on priorities and feel a sense of accomplishment. And hopefully, enjoy more restful sleep. Insomnia is the deal breaker that impacts everything I do. So let’s make adequate sleep the number one priority for 2021! Any suggestions?