“Give it time” is all they tell us
By: Tatyana S Thoughts
Tags: Family, Love, Death, Lessons Learned, Covid 19

“Give it time” is all they tell us

How do I start this off?

Do you know what it feels like to have a wedding to attend in 10 days, but then that same wedding, with the same faces that were going to be there turns into a funeral?

It feels like a dagger in the heart, a knife in the back, and many simultaneous pinches all over your body.

Grandma and Uncle caught the Covid. He was her favourite. He was her only son and he was the eldest. He caught the Corona first, it entered their home only 3 weeks before my cousin’s wedding on the 20th of December. She was his daughter, longing so hard to have her father walk her down the aisle. All she wanted was to make sure Grandma and he will be healthy and well by the time it’s her big day. Every day we’d check on them, “Are you guys feeling better? Is it nearly done?”, and the answers were always good ones.

Ten days in and we all believe if there aren’t any bad symptoms happening now, then they’re safe and we’re all nearly done with this. That’s an assumption we shouldn't have made.

Grandma wakes up, opens her bedroom door to get her breakfast, and notices that her son’s dinner has been left untouched outside his doorstep. A mother’s heart knows best what her children are feeling. So she storms into her son’s dark cold room and sees him laying on his bed lifeless, stiff, and colorless. She rubs his hands as she yells his name. She cries for help. He has one hand on his chest and a foot outside the bed. He has wide red spots all over his body. The Covid made it all the way to his heart. He was gone. Uncle has left us. Grandpa was in denial and headed straight to the living room.

Before we knew it, Uncle was taken away in the ambulance. It was unbelievable, it still is. The life of the house, the light of the town, and the action of everyone in the family’s lives has left us all behind.

He was too stubborn to want to go to the hospital for proper healthcare. He was a stubborn man all his life. He did what he thought was right and he got what he wanted always. Honestly, it never messed with him before, it always worked out for him. But this time Death came knocking on his door and that my friends is the only thing we cannot bargain with. Outsmarting death? Cheating it? Or just being plain stubborn about it, is a dangerous game.

If there is one thing humans will never have control over, it’s death. It will continue to break our hearts, our families, and any bond we might have regardless of our plans and way of thinking. It stands at nothing. Death has no respect for who we are or what we want to do. When it wants to prevail, it will simply be and it will simply take away whoever’s up next.

Such a tormenting event has left me noticing how tiny and pathetic we are. Yes, all we hear is “Life goes on” and “We’re all going to die anyway”, but that doesn't mean we can’t acknowledge the fact that we need to cherish more of the true moments. It doesn’t change the truth that we will never be the same after it takes place. The moment one close person to your heart is taken away, you and your entire life changes. The way you see things, the way you feel, and the way everyone connected to that death feels becomes completely different. One thing that guarantees change is the prevalence of Death.

Burying our Uncle was the hardest and worst thing that has ever happened to me and every member of my family. And today in 2020, it was a disaster. We’d look at each other with masks covering half our faces, questioning through our eyes whether or not we should or could be hugging one another. A day of grief and pure pain took place with barely any human contact. What have we come to?

Grandpa, unable to walk, sat at home well-groomed and well-dressed, ready to welcome condolences, but was left disappointed with no visitors. That’s what we are today. We’ve become anti-social robots. We have been converted into humans of suppressed feelings. You grief alone. You cry alone. And you are left wondering what the other person might be thinking or feeling.

We were all scared to visit Grandpa. We don’t want to be taking any risks. We don’t want to lose another pillar of the family. Grandma was put in the Intensive Care Section of the Covid Unit, she has just witnessed her son cold as ice and is suffering from the Corona. She is only wishing her life was taken away instead of his.

Our family will never be the same again. It has lost its light. Uncle’s birthday was in 10 days. His daughter’s wedding was in 5 days. Christmas was right around the corner, and so was New Year’s. Now? Now we are left with a dark December that we will forever remember.

This is a cruel world we live in, and they don’t tell you that life gets crueler every day. They don't truly teach us how to face days like these, and we are left speechless, hollow, and devastated waiting for time to heal us. That’s all they say, “Give it time”.

And once again, we find ourselves giving every situation its course of time so that our heart can beat at its normal rate once again, until one day we grow numb and start telling others to simply “give it time”.