Raising Future Generations by Challenging the Gender Politics in Muslim Culture
By: Muslim Women Professionals
Tags: Motherhood, Gender Politics, Children, Parenting, Muslim

By Salma Soliman

Motherhood is beautiful and inspiring just as it is frightening and confusing. There is a high value and importance socially placed on how the mother raises the child often resulting in an immense amount of pressure onto the mothers. The age old idea where the mother is responsible for raising the child while her partner works in order to financially provide for the family has been, and continues to be challenged by Muslim families. We just have to look within our faith at our beloved Prophet Mohamed (PBUH) and how he was involved as a father. Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), said, “I have never seen a man who was more compassionate to his family members than Mohamed (PBUH).” (Muslim)

As the participation of Muslim women in the labor force is continuously increasing, it is important to acknowledge the vital roles both partners have in a child’s upbringing. We sat down with several Muslim mothers and discussed their experiences with motherhood, the importance of support, and transitioning back into the workplace as they shared some ways they have received support from their partner in raising their child.

Taking on Night Feeding:

Getting a good night’s rest is difficult when you’re waking up every two hours. Having your partner take on one or two of these night feeding shifts during the week makes the world of a difference. Not only does it allow for mothers to catch up on some sleep but it enforces the feeling of support.

Baby Breaks:

As hard as it is to be away from your baby, having your partner step in to give you a break can be vital. Many of these women reported how their partner stepping in whether it be during playtime or helping put them to sleep. This not only allowed for a break, but it also functioned as an opportunity for bonding and attachment between the baby and their partner.

Encouraged Community Building With Other Mothers:

As important as support from your partner is so is support from other mothers who are likely facing similar experiences. One woman expressed how her partner encouraged her to meet other moms within her Muslim community. She expressed the sense of relatability being surrounded by other Muslims and women of color — for example, they were able to exchange tips on how to inculcate Islamic principles in a child’s upbringing. Organizing mommy and me events creates a space where both the mothers and the child can connect, nurture, and develop.

Mothers Need to Be Cared For Too:

Due to the demands of being a mother, it can often be difficult to keep up with taking care of yourself. Many of these women appreciated when their partners checked up on them, asking what they needed, especially in instances that limited them to minimal movement such as when sitting down to nurse/feed. Encouraging acts of self care, ensuring the mother is managing well, and even acknowledging the possibility of postpartum depression are all vital to ensuring the mother is taking good care of herself.

Being a mother comes with a lot of expectations and responsibilities which creates the false narrative that the mother is ultimately responsible for the child’s upbringing, development and success. The proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child” renders to be true. Years ago, children were raised by women in communities; which meant extra nurturing, breaks, assistance, and guidance. As these traditions have been redefined or lost, majority of mothers often do not have these extra means of support, making the journey far more difficult. Creating a space where your partner actively has roles and responsibilities in raising the child, further breaks these barriers while challenging socially constructed gendered politics, norms, and roles.

Muslim Women Professionals is an organization that promotes empowerment for professional Muslim women all over the world. Click here to learn more about how we educate, empower and mobilize.