I Want to Stop Trying to be Pretty
Tags: Love, Beauty, Image, Self Body

I Want to Stop Trying to be Pretty

Photo by Septian simon on Unsplash

My father looks at other women

He tells my mother about the parts of her that are “too this” and “too that”

But he has loved her for more than 30 years

I like to think he loved her shortly after she first passed through his checkout line at the grocery store

He recognizes the beauty in other women

and sometimes that hurts my mother

But they are married still

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https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc04.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc05.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq00.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq01.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq02.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq03.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq04.html

https://www.acquiescevineyards.com/hq/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq05.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq50.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq51.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq52.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq53.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq54.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Colts-v-Raidrs-Liv-hq55.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl900.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl901.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl902.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl903.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl904.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-gre-v-det-liv-us-nfl905.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc00.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc01.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc02.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc03.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc04.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/Video-Jets-v-Seahawks-nvc05.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq00.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq01.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq02.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq03.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq04.html

https://sanibel-captiva.org/moni/V-ideos-Hawks-v-Magic-liv-cq05.html

and happy

We like to think that we will always be the prettiest in the eyes of our soulmates

but there is always someone more beautiful in terms of looks

The trick is to accept that and refuse to care

Because caring about being the prettiest

wastes so much time

I know

I wasted years of always being heartbroken

when they kept choosing someone prettier

Wondering, when will I be pretty enough for them to choose me?

But I was asking the wrong questions

We celebrate the ones who can wake up in the morning with a face unaltered by powders and potions

and be objectively stunning

But the angles of my face can never tell you about how I make my best friend laugh

Or how I feel so much empathy for the world

I no longer wish to be pretty

although when one man told me I was a “B” on his grading scale of looks

the conditioned part of me still stung

But I don’t want to strive for an A plus in his book

I was a valedictorian once and I can tell you now that

in the grand scheme of it all,

A’s mean nothing

I want someone to look at me and think beyond the surface

I want their mind to be marveling,

She has the most beautiful heart of gold

She makes me laugh

She is everything and then some

We take “she has a lovely personality” as an insult.

But I’d rather be ugly

than dull

I wish I would hear that more

instead of focusing on how they always say that I am “cute” and never “hot”

instead of always wondering if I will ever be woman enough to be called “sexy”

If I could stop trying to be pretty

I would be so much more