2020, An Emotional Roller Coaster
Tags: Resolutions, Year In Review

It’s Christmas day, and on the holidays’ spirit, I felt like going through my past resolutions and year-end reviews on this platform. Boy oh boy! What a ride! I don’t write these for anyone to read, although I make them public and up for grabs. I write these things for my future self to read through them and measure what progress I had, and also to see what my mindset was in those moments of the past. It ends up serving as some sort of time capsule. A DeLorean ride through my psyche and milestones of my life.That sort of inspired me to do this year’s tonight.

2019 was the runner-up in the contest “The Worst Year of My Life”. It could’ve easily gotten first place hadn’t 2010 existed. The year ended with me completely broke. I remember not having enough money to pay for the subway ticket to go to work. I couldn’t pay my credit card bill. I couldn’t pay for health insurance anymore, and I had to drop out of therapy along with stop seeing my psychiatrist altogether. Ironically, I was at the lowest point of my depression up to that point. That was when I needed therapy or any sort of medical help the most. On top of all of that, I also went through a bunch stuff that completely messed me up on my personal life, maybe even more than the professional/financial stuff. But I’ll try to keep this thing family-friendly. It’s out of character for me to talk about personal stuff here.

Then 2020 came. Our good old 2020. The year to rule all years (failed LOTR reference). Thinking in retrospect, I had an advantage over everyone else facing 2020. I had nothing to lose. I started the year broke, completely depressed, without any hint of hope that I’d see the light at the end of the tunnel. I thought that was it for me. I literally just wanted to die. I couldn’t handle life anymore. I’d had a good run. Little did I know that when you’re at the lowest of the lowest point in life, you can only move up.

In March 2020 the western world was introduced to our, now intimate buddy, Rona. The world stopped. Economies collapsed. People started losing their jobs hand over fist. A lot of people started dying. The numbers grew exponentially, and mankind saw a humanitarian crisis it hadn’t seen in over a century.

When all brick-and-mortar businesses had to shut down, a rapidly growing demand for technology started to emerge. That movement in the market along with the fact that we made the perfect decision to double down on our marketing investments in the first quarter of 2020 had a huge impact on our business. We started selling a lot of projects. Our company grew a lot. We paid all of our debt (bank loans, vendors, etc). We won a lawsuit an ill-intended employee had filed against us. Ultimately, we were able to make this terrible year for everyone else into our best year so far. We had a record yearly revenue. Almost doubled the previous best one.

My current status is: I was able to invest 2/3 of my income. I make enough money now to lead a comfortable life. I’m back in therapy. I’m not taking any meds. I’m focusing on my health. I lost 25 lbs already (at least 25 more to go). I’m working out at least 4x a week. I changed my diet. I’m taking singing lessons. I have been playing my guitar a lot. I also play the piano now. I’m not doing anything I don’t want to do. I’m putting myself and my happiness first. I’m not doing anything just to please people that don’t give a fuck about me at the end of the day. I’m now back in control of my life. I won. Fuck you 2019.

Let’s talk 2021 now. There’s still a long way to go. 2020 was the beginning of a journey. 2021 is the next step.

For 2021 I want to continue focusing on myhealth. But now that’s going to be my first priority. Mental and physical health. Everything else is secondary now. I have the means (money-wise but also psychologically) to afford doing that. Finally.

I also want to take the next step in my company which is to start setting foot in different markets. In 2021 I want to sell at least one project to a client overseas. Just one. It could be the stupidest job. So I can start planning an expansion to North America, to ultimately be able to move to the US or Canada myself. It’s up to me to make that happen.

I feel like I have a lot more to give in 2021. I’m excited. 2020 was the year to get back on the horse. And I did. If you had told me in December 2019 how my 2020 would go I would’ve never believed it. Life is nuts. Phew!