What is Social Pain and how to cope with it ?
By: Josline D'Silva
Tags: Helping Others, Support, Health, Bullying, Emotional Pain

Social pain is the kind of pain you feel when you undergo social rejection like a public humiliation,negative feedback from colleagues,being bullied ,being excluded or ignored in social setting etc.

It might explain why after any such events ,individual self-medicate or indulge in behavior which would either ease out the pain or make them feel better.A study by Gao et al(2012) found that brain area are activated when an individual experiences social pain is similar to those area of the brain activated when an individual experiences physical pain.

There might be an evolutionary perspective about the social pain as ,human being social organism ,the need for social affiliation do play role in individual conforming to fit in ,hence when they get rejected or hurt by others it might induce a lot o discomfort.

According to Darnall(2014) Tips to reduce social pain

Try not to make a point that your pain needed to be addressed ,to be tended by everyone ,at every time. Just because they don’t talk about it doesn't mean they they don’t care.it is just that they want you to move on on too. Avoid cutting of your social contact with your significant others.Some people may hurt their feelings but there are other people ,their friends and family who still care for them and cutting of all the ties with them ,may hinder they their well being. If you are hurt ,let your loved know about it .If you don’t let them know that you are in pain ,they will not know you need their help.So when hurt,ask for help.

A study by Nordgren, Banas and MacDonald (2011)reported that those individuals (specially teachers)who had experienced social pain were, comparatively likely to estimate that a high intensity of emotional pain is felt by student when bullied at school ,prompting them to suggest grater punishment for for bullies and broader spectrum of interventions should be provided to those students where were bullied.They also reported that individuals tend to underestimate the level of social pain experienced by other individual if they or their closed or known acquaintances had not experienced any form of social pain or rejection (Nordgren, Banas, & MacDonald, 2011).

A study by Chester et al.(2013)found that social pain can either increase or decrease aggression level of individual , depending on their emotional regulation mechanism and their ability of carrying out high executive functions.

The above studies do explain why I have observed that individual who suffer from any hurt feelings usually withdraw themselves,hence we should be conscious if any of our acquaintance show change in their behavior or withdraw themselves from social setting.If any one is opening up to you about their experiences ,acknowledge and emphasize and help them to cope and move on,rather than judging them or blaming them.

References

Nordgren, L. F., Banas, K., & MacDonald, G. (2011, January 1). Empathy gaps for social pain: Why people underestimate the pain of social suffering. Retrieved June 17, 2019, from https://reference.medscape.com/medline/abstract/21219077

Gu, X., Gao, Z., Wang, X., Liu, X., Knight, R. T., Hof, P. R., & Fan, J. (2012). Anterior insular cortex is necessary for empathetic pain perception. Brain,135(9), 2726–2735. doi:10.1093/brain/aws199

Chester, D. S., Eisenberger, N. I., Pond, R. S., Richman, S. B., Bushman, B. J., & Dewall, C. N. (2013). The interactive effect of social pain and executive functioning on aggression: An fMRI experiment. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,9(5), 699–704. doi:10.1093/scan/nst038

Berglands, C. (2014, March 3). The Neuroscience of Social Pain. Retrieved June 15, 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-athletes-way/201403/the-neuroscience-social-pain

Darnall, B. (2014, December 3). Social Pain = Physical Pain. Retrieved June 15, 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/less-pain-fewer-pills/201412/social-pain-physical-pain

Azab, M. (2017, April 25). Is Social Pain Real Pain? Retrieved June 15, 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/neuroscience-in-everyday-life/201704/is-social-pain-real-pain