Am I Doomed To Be Alone?
By: Agents Of Change
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Alone, Singles, Loneliness

Am I Doomed To Be Alone?

Photo credit: iStock

By Allana Pratt

Q: Allana, online dating isn’t working, people setting me up isn’t working, at this point I fear I am going to die alone. What am I doing wrong or what at least what should I try next?

To see my full response, check out the full video below. You can also find this video and many others on YouTube, so please be sure to subscribe to my channel.

Transcript provided by YouTube (unedited):

My wonderful friends at the Good Men

Project Allana Pratt here your intimacy

expert I am so grateful that I’ve

created such a place of like a sanctuary

and safety for you that you can be so

real and vulnerable with me friggin love

you okay this one says Allana online

dating isn’t working people setting me

up isn’t working at this point I fear

I’m going to die alone what am I doing

wrong or what at least should I try next

oh you have the courage to say what

forget most people are feeling so I

first I just honor your courage to speak

the truth and to show up and talk to me

so thank you hmm such a privilege to be

able to be so real with you

my mother had she was an English teacher

never swore you know dressed great but

when life would piss her off

she would say shit fuck god damned

bugger bugger damn and my sister and I

would be like oh she’s for the world’s

coming to an end but she’d get it out a

couple times.

Then she’d be fine and it was her

way I think of processing and navigating

intense emotions and coming back to the

prison so um I I would say a couple

rounds of that it would be a good start

because you know hmm that this isn’t

working and this isn’t working and this

isn’t working and you’re like alright so

generally what I find if this is like a

challenge in front of me um I know it’s

for me not against me I know the

universe is on my side I know this is

here for my soul’s evolution because if

it’s not let’s just get off now like why

even play right.

I don’t even anyways that’s just my

point of view so here it is and you’d be

going boom boom boom and knocking your

head against and it’s not moving so so I

would take a step back kind of get more

of like a hawk like an eagle like a moon

like a bird’s-eye view and go okay

what’s going on here what’s going on

here that I can’t see when it might up

my perspective is so myopic like this

like come back right and have a look and

what so what are you doing wrong nothing

nothing you’re not wrong what you’re

doing is not wrong you’re showing up and

you’re doing your best mmm bottom line

okay next from this greater perspective

you’re gonna see

something you might not want to let go

the past in some way you might not want

to forgive yourself in some way or

forgive another in some way you might

not want to develop this next level of

heart openness required for deep

intimacy something will be

there that you don’t have to deal

with when you’re just like date

date rate boat if you look back you be

like oh there it is

I’m pretty clear you’re brilliant so

you’ll see it now what do you do about

it when you find it you choose a partner

someone like me I would love to be your

partner and it could be through reading

one of my books are one of my home

curriculums it could be through private

one-on-one coaching it could be spending

entire two days with me whatever works

for your time energy budget you choose

and you do the work I like to remind

myself and my clients that life isn’t

this linear like path like this it’s a

circle right it’s layers probably

multiple dimensions of all of this and

so if you imagine like a DNA spiral it

goes around and around but it keeps

going up right so you’re just you’re

growing you’re just going around the

dark side my friend and when you come

around the front again Oh a new

possibility a new reality but you gotta

be willing to do the work and the song

and doing the work is not wrong you’re

not bad it’s it’s a sign of great

bravery and courage and self-love to

love yourself that much to give yourself

what you require for what’s next

for me I’m living if you could just see

the view right now and you’d just be

like ha it’s so breathtaking but the

first part about getting here was crying

my face off for an entire month I didn’t

close one new client i sat on the couch

and I cried looking at this beautiful

view just blasting my heart open with

beauties I would just cry my face off

for things that were going on with my my

personal life with my son I did it for a

month that’s what I needed to do I

wasn’t weak I wasn’t bad I wasn’t broken

it was just what was required because if

I just pretended everything was fine I

put sprinkles on top of the ice cream

cone of shit it would have been fake and

authentic it would have exhausted me and

ultimately I would have cried it crashed

at some point right so when we get the

the invitation

take it okay the invitation is this

isn’t working

pull back do your inner work please

contact me you could go to Alana Pratt

comm forward-slash connect if working

privately is what resonates with you or

go if you don’t know if you’re a man or

a woman but a ladder Pratt comm for the

ladies and get her to say yes for the

men and there’s so many different

products there just start to let me love

you and let the energy start to heal you

and open you I’m all about hearts blade

wide open but before we get there we

take it slow we take it slow and there’s

so much healing work to do so much

release of anger so much forgiveness and

so much awakening of our delicious

sacred sexual creative lifeforce energy

that feels so confident from the inside

out these are these are like the process

is the journey I take people through

so you can walk through life with your

heart open takes courage but it’s the

only way you can be met deeply by love

so I hope that helps thank you so much

for your question

—

The story was previously published on The Good Men Project.

About Allana Pratt

Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt is a global media personality who awakens open-hearted, unapologetic living after heartbreak. A Guest Expert on Huffington Post, People Magazine, Forbes, The Jenny McCarthy Show, and featured as an Icon of Influence, this Ivy League grad is the Author of 4 top-selling books, has interviewed Whoopi Goldberg, Alanis Morissette, and Dr. Bernie Seigel and hosts the edgy podcast “Intimate Conversations”. A certified coach, Allana was asked by Leeza Gibbons to coach her during Dancing with the Stars. With over 4.5 million viewers on YouTube, Allana is the go-to authority when struggling to trust again after heartbreak. She offers private coaching and retreats to support her male and female clients finding the relationships they deserve.

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