Self-awareness Becomes a Challenge When You Are Comfortable in Your Own skin
By: Sumera Rizwan
Tags: Self-awareness, Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Self, Self Love

As a little girl, I knew how important it was for me to be comfortable in my own skin. I was a spoilt child but a happy one, because I accepted my self the way I was. I never tried to change a thing about myself. Everything was about me being happy and carefree.

Now as a grownup, I deeply regret the moments when I was discourteous to my parents while everything they did was only for my own benefit.

I wonder why I was always contented with myself no matter what I did. I had high expectations from people around me but I never tried to change myself.

As a teenager, I would never listen or accept critical feedback even if it were from the people I deeply loved. I always thought I was perfect with my faults until I realized, I was way below my own standards of perfection.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

~Ernest Hemingway

Ignoring your flaws may prevent self Improvement

When you accept yourself the way you are, you leave no room for improvement. It hinders your personal growth and success.

It puts you in a situation where you do the same thing day after day without analyzing your actions and their consequences. Physically or mentally you are just relaxed with who you are and lack the spark of change.

The moment I realized I was not who I wanted to be, I became very uncomfortable and self-conscious. This anxiety and discomfort led me to change my self for the better.

Science explains my experience as follows

Back in 1908, psychologists Robert M. Yerkes and John D. Dodson explained that a state of relative comfort created a steady level of performance In order to maximize performance, however, we need a state of relative anxiety — a space where our stress levels are slightly higher than normal. This space is called “Optimal Anxiety,” and it’s just outside our comfort zone. ~Alan Henry and Rebecca (MIND HACKS)

Self-help comes with self-awareness

With time life taught me the concept of self-awareness, I started analyzing my actions, thoughts, and emotions. I studied the reactions of people around me and how they made me feel.

I started to associate my actions with my values and tried to comprehend how people I loved perceived me.

If someone’s conduct bothered me I looked within to check if I had the same trait.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

~Carl Gustav Jung

When we are aware of our actions, strengths, weaknesses, feelings, thoughts, and values it becomes possible for us to become better versions of our own selves.

Change is complicated but it can bring contentment

When you have been happy with your self for years it is extremely hard to change. Stepping out to know your self is just the beginning.

Operating in ways that contradict our habits can evoke similar negative reactions. With a habit, our brain creates a shortcut and moves from stimulus to response without thinking, saving both time and effort. But non-habitual behaviors require us to think about a situation, consider choices, make a choice, and then demonstrate the behavior that aligns with that choice. This takes work. The auto-pilot efficiency of habits is what make them so hard to change. It’s easier and more pleasant to default to an old habit than it is to invest the energy in creating a new one ~Jennifer Porter (Harvard Bussiness Review)

Self-improvement required me to take a closer look at myself, acknowledging my flaws, and then making conscious efforts to change them.

Self-improvement is not changing yourself for others

It is about focusing on what matters to you and overcoming any mental hurdles that might be stopping you from being a better person.

It is to give your life a purpose and being happy with your little achievements. Each improvement will strengthen your self-confidence and escalate your progress.

“The person in life that you will always be with the most, is yourself. Because even when you are with others, you are still with yourself, too! When you wake up in the morning, you are with yourself, laying in bed at night you are with yourself, walking down the street in the sunlight you are with yourself. What kind of person do you want to walk down the street with? What kind of person do you want to wake up in the morning with? What kind of person do you want to see at the end of the day before you fall asleep? Because that person is yourself, and it’s your responsibility to be that person you want to be with”. ~C. JoyBell C.

It is a life long process

Knowing your self and crafting each aspect by understanding your flaws is a vital quality for life.

When we are working on ourselves we want results very quickly but that is not possible. Self-improvement is a slow and steady process that never ends.