The Gaga Maga Saga.
By: Dr John Grierson
Tags: America, Satire, Trump, Greatness, Guns

Not only did Trump not make America great again, he never needed to, and would never have known how, anyway.

Just what was it that Humpty Trumpty thought was wrong with America, that he, and only he, could fix? I don’t mean what was actually wrong — I mean what he thought was wrong and why he thought that greatness was somehow slipping through the nation’s fingers.

I know that America is not perfect. No nation ever is nor should any nation strive to be. Rust belts, half-wits with guns, rampant racism, terrible fast food, obesity, Trump, McConnell. You know.

But how can a nation of 331 million people, living in fifty states with several differing climates, measuring almost 10 million square kilometres and home to who knows how many ethnicities, expect a truly national perfection or, even, greatness, or even try for it?

Especially not a nation which has been at pains throughout its history to temper nationality with federated and independent statehood. To most Americans, I can’t help thinking, America First comes second to me first, then Idaho First, California First, Alaska First, and so on down the list of states. What some Texans think is great is possibly the last word in perceived awfulness in, say, Maine or Washington.

On the other hand, the USA, precisely because it is so vast and so diverse, has as a national phenomenon stood head and shoulders above other nations for a very long time, in economic terms, in military terms, in terms of safeguarding the rights of humanity. It is a wonderful demonstration to anyone who really looks and watches, that if you start with those attributes, and put historically unprecedented freedom into the mix, a successful and exemplary demonstration of residual pride in nationhood will grow into a form of greatness. And so it did. And so it will. Without any chest-thumping or blowing of own Trumpets, and least of all by listening to the shrill rabble-rousing populist nonsense and un-keepable promises espoused by the likes of Donald J.

Nobody can MAGA. Nobody needs to. It manages all by itself. It is, by my reckoning, and that of plenty of others, great enough already, where and when it needs to be. Some stuff needs fixing, but only those parts that are broken. America, through the efforts of its people, has had greatness thrust upon it. They bear it wonderfully well, and deserve to.

Why does Trumpty not appear to know that of all the countries in the world, America is the go-to place to escape tyranny, starvation, and every other kind of man’s inhumanity to man?

True — a great many are trying to get to Britain as well, from the Middle East and Africa, for similar reasons, but that has more to do with (a) not really wanting to stop permanently, en route, on foot, in places where they have a lot less chance of learning the language quickly and (b) Britain’s colonial/ cultural past. The English language is almost certainly the easiest language to learn quickly enough to ask for help, food, drink and a place to sleep. It is the world’s lingua franca. It is even all over China for obvious reasons. How many people at the last count were fleeing to China?

If geography made it possible, there is no doubt in my mind that those refugees from Syria and The Congo for example, would try, first, to go to the USA. As it is, the English Channel is a tough enough proposition, but the Atlantic is an impossible one.

If America were accessible on foot from Africa, but were not so great a place, would it still be every refugee’s dream destination? No-one, no matter how desperate, would want to swap a hell-hole for just another hell-hole. It just ain’t so. They know that, go to the right state, and there is safety and opportunity for them.

The MAGA Saga has always been a lot of tripe. An easy slogan, easy to make into a snappy acronym and wear on a tasteless cap.

But completely devoid of meaning.

Just one more thing to say: I have just seen a video clip of a total asshole who has “invented” a flashlight-cum-gun which folds up into a wallet-sized dealer of death. The gun part is based on a deadly Glock 9mm automatic pistol. This bald but bearded savage shows off his invention with delight, in a superstore somewhere. Just what is needed in parts of America — another type of gun to gladden the piss-filled hearts of the NRA. This does nothing to make me feel better about the US of Ammo, but equally, I prefer to treat this as another dish in the Trumpfest of offal, and forget I ever saw it.