fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Choosing a sexy relationship with yourself
By: Salona Carlisle
Tags: Self Love, Dating Advice, Singles, Sexy, Confidence

As women, we’re raised and taught to believe that our beauty and femininity is dependent on whether a man CHOOSES us or not.

For this reason, so many single women fall into the trap of feeling less whole, less desirable, and like less of a woman as long as there’s not man in the picture.

When you feel like you’re waiting on a man to feel feminine, beautiful, and experience pleasure…

You will cut yourself off from those very qualities that you most want…



And the experience you most want of yourself and your life.

Here’s the truth…

Being a deeply sensual, feminine, and desirable woman isn’t based on a man.

It’s is a conscious choice that you get to make.

It’s based on what YOU think and feel about you.

It’s based on the experience and pleasure YOU create for yourself and in your own life.

Just as easily as you choose to see yourself as anything other than beautiful…

You can to choose to see and inhabit your stunning beauty instead.

The time you aren’t with a man is the BEST time to develop a sexy and intimate relationship with your body, yourself, and your life.

Then you get to experience all the femininity, beauty, and pleasure you want in your life.

Then you get to choose a man just because you want him — NOT because you need him.

It all starts with choosing YOU…

And then embodying the knowing that you are profoundly safe to be seen, to be magnetic, to be gorgeous, and to be chosen.

This is the deep journey of healing and self-reclamation I get to take my clients on.
#JustStart Project
Tags: Communication Skills, Confidence, Action, Projects, Students Life

I want to improve my communication skills by practicing for one hour on daily basis and watch different videos from youtube to become a good speaker on the 28th of February of 2021.

I want to achieve this goal because I feel my communication skills are not good. Due to this reason, I cannot express my point of view to other persons.

After achieving this goal I will perform in a better way in my personal life and become more successful in my professional life.

I have started to achieve this goal. I watched the video of Qasim Ali to learn about communication and this video was very helpful for me

I will take different steps to improve my communication skills.

become a good speaker on the 28th of February of 2021.

Task 1

Start watching videos of different speakers

Task 2

Writing and reading on a daily basis

Task 3

Practice speaking on a daily basis
3 Habits of People Who Fake Their High Self-Esteem
By: Khadejah Jones
Tags: Life, Life Lessons, Encouragement, Confidence, Self

3 Habits of People Who Fake Their High Self-Esteem

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

It’s time to watch my favorite reality show again.

Most of the time I know how the episode’s going to go. A little bit of scripted drama, mixed with some fun trip to Bali, mixed with women saying “I’m that bitch” but constantly getting into abusive relationships with other men.

I know this is reality TV and I don’t put much stock into it, but this has been a recurring theme with people I’ve met personally in my life. There was this cool chick in my band class who acted like no one was worth her time. She exuded so much confidence every time she walked into the room that I almost wanted to be her.

I realized it was all a facade when she kept getting into getting into horrible relationships with other guys and had a mental breakdown in front of me on the bus.

So here are three habits of people who fake their high self-esteem.
Something You Really DO Want To Know
By: Michelle Tillis Lederman
Tags: Leadership, Opinion, Goals, Confidence, Productivity

There comes a time each year when it’s time to get down to it and start planning out some goals for the next year. The first step I take in this process is to always take some time to look back at the previous year and figure out what worked, what can be improved, and, most importantly, what I achieved. Then I start looking ahead and planning. But I don’t do this on my own.

A great way to go about this is to get feedback on both those topics from those around you, especially from those who work for you. I promise, it really ​​​​​​​is something you want to know. Feedback can be hard to hear, but possibly one of the most valuable gifts you will get this holiday season.

Asking for feedback can seem like a difficult task. Maybe you think they won’t tell you the truth (or worse, they will!). However, this tiny act of asking for feedback has a ripple effect of benefit. Obviously, you learn how to further improve as a leader, but also the employee feels valued, heard, and empowered — loyalty is increased and, in turn, productivity!

It’s all good but it only happens if you ask AND if you ask the right way.

Don’t be intimidated by the prospect of asking for an honest opinion. All you need is to find an effective method so that you feel prepared and confident. Click HERE to read more and to develop your method!
Believe, and see, and reach for Confidence!
By: Anna Riley
Tags: Poem, Believe, Confidence, Poetry On Medium, Magic

I picked up the large white scarf,

And went onto the big open front porch to see,

If the wind was wildly blowing

And if it would stay that way for me.
Why trying to FIT IN when you are meant to STAND OUT?
Tags: Storytelling, Collaboration, Neuroscience, Confidence, Personal Development

I don’t know about you but it got me wondering: Why should we try to fit in?

From where I sit, we all are individuals with a specific set of skills, but most importantly with a unique combination of personality and life experiences that makes each and every one of us extra-ordinary!

However, the ‘new normal’ for jobs search clearly is asking us to ask ourselves the question.

On the one hand, we are asked to stand out (in our application) in order to fit in (and match the job description)! This as we know, is easier said than done after a whirlwind of mass sudden redundancies when we look great on paper but often don’t make it very far in the application process, courtesy of AI and other new technologies.

On the other hand, we are prevented to stand out. What an algorithm will never be able to do is identify what makes a good candidate a great candidate. It cannot pinpoint the ‘X factor’ that lays within each of us and that every recruiter/employer is seeking for, as it is called emotional intelligence, intuitive creativity, soft skills or any transferable skills.

I will mostly speak for myself, but I know I want to be able to do both, fit in AND stand out! I know for a fact that I will without any hesitation be 100% committed to fit in and represent the mission, values and culture of the company I work for, knowing I have the right to stand out in my own originality. Not only because I am loyal and professional but because I am proud of what I have achieved, conquered, accrued, learnt, earned, recognised and taken on board each time through my journey.

So let’s start to engage with one another, get to know each other and what drives us, to give the other a chance to stand out for what we stand for in so that they can better fit in.

This is I believe the ‘condition sine qua non’ to channel collaborative energy in order to create a masterpiece together!
For those who fight alone
By: Spyros Giorgis
Tags: Life, Motivation, Confidence, Lifestyle, Alone

In this life we need to walk alone, we need the isolation, because through that journey we figure out what we are made of. We figure out what we need to go through for success.

Society loves to sell you the comfort. That’s why we have fast food in every corner. That’s why we have a pill, for every problem. But one thing is sure, nothing good comes with comfort. Nothing special comes with easy life. Success comes through pain, comes through sacrifice and until you fight for your dreams and your purpose, you will never know that. You don’t have to live by the standards of society, you need to believe in you, in your path that you choose to walk and at the end of the day you only answer to yourself.

Find your purpose, find your why, find the reason you wake up every morning and don’t let anyone to stop you. Your purpose is something that can ignite the fire inside of you and accelerate the progress through the pain. Life is full with people who stuck to ‘I will…’ and they never start, ‘Next week’, ‘next day’, ‘next month’ and that moment never comes because they keep postponed it. You need to start NOW

Walking alone is never easy, but once you experienced the possibilities, once you taste the success, you will witness freedom
3 Role Model Traits of Donald Trump
By: Ryan Dejonghe
Tags: Success, Writing, Trump, Confidence, Self

Sure, the orange-toned hyperbole machine currently occupying the White House is a ________ __________ (your choice of adjective and noun). But if we squinch together our moral eyelids and twist the picture enough, we can actually see some (I hesitate to say the word) redeemable qualities.

I’m a believer that everyone can teach us something. I also enjoy a good challenge. So, let’s talk about Trump.

It would be way too easy for me to pick revered and venerated icons such as Mister Rogers or Mother Teressa. But bear with me, because even saints have sinful qualities, and the worst sinners have saintlike traits.

Yes, admittedly, some people make it tough to glean lessons. If we can get past the raging lies and little fingers, we might get something useful.

Let’s talk about what we can learn from example number 45’s three role model traits.
Predictive Analytics Can Enhance Your Business?
By: Asha Katol
Tags: Predictive Analytics, Market Optimization, Business Enchance, Business Solution, Confidence

It is a method to apply a predictive model to data. With the help of predictive analytic tools, one can easily analyze and understand the customer data that is being accumulated on the daily basis. Now, you are in a position to predict the future events and map the products or solutions as per the customer trends and past actions. Enterprises are using such methods to optimize the marketing campaigns and drive better Return on Investments (ROI).

Boosts Confidence

In business, if you can predict the future outcomes it can be the best-case scenario but it is only possible if you can predict the history of data or trends. This can obviously increase your confidence in the business. A professional Predictive Analytics Solution Company can help you make the correct decisions by using the analytics and behavior patterns. It becomes easy to assess the risks and run the probability of various confidential scenarios ahead of the time. Proper and careful application of such tool allows gauging the potential ROI in the business.

Competitive Advantage

Predictive analysis helps in gaining the accurate insights in a faster way and to take action in a much quicker way. Accurate reports can help in analyzing and creating better campaigns to outperform the competitors. It helps in improving the product quality, customer satisfaction, better ROI, and product personalization. In the business, if you are not sure about the analysis and application of the data, be ready to take help of a leading and best predictive analytics Solution Company in Colombo, Sri Lanka.

Customer-Centric Approach

The customer-centric approach is not that easy but it plays a major role in the business. Predictive analytics can help in establishing cross-functional collaboration in the organization. The amount of data it studies and all the reports generated can help in achieving the objective of customer satisfaction and transforming the companies into customer-centric enterprises.

Optimize Marketing Productivity

Predictive Analytics can help businesses in understanding the trends and predict the future expectations for better decision making. The most important aspect is that businesses can very well optimize their campaigns for increasing the ROI.

CONCLUSION

Businesses function with the objective of achieving the better ROI along with customer satisfaction in the industry. Data Insights become a very critical part of the analysis and the study. Predictive analytics help in achieving a lot than just using the standard way of business operation. It is also important to have collaboration among various departments within the organization. This helps in cost reduction and streamlining.

Using Predictive Analytics can help in transforming an organization’s existing culture into data-driven and customer-centric culture. To know more about the understanding and application of predictive analytics in the business, you can approach us.
Children and Smartphones
By: Christian Peter
Tags: Smartphones, Conflict Resolution, Parenting, Family, Confidence

I just found Lori Melichar’s story What Is The Best Age To Buy Your Child A Smartphone? She provides some more background with related scientific findings. Her approach to dealing with kids wanting a smartphone at early age is interesting, too. In short, she suggests to group with like-minded parents at School and agree on an age all your Children get their first smartphone. This should help relieving the pressure on your kids for “needing” such a device. Go for the full story.
The Psychology of Being Magnetic Decoded — Is About One Thing
By: Orestis Spanos
Tags: Self Improvement, Life, Relationships, Confidence, Self

The Psychology of Being Magnetic Decoded — Is About One Thing

A photo by mohamed_hassan from Pixbay

By the time you cross the gates of adolescence — that beautiful stage of life — you are finally getting ready to join the adult world.

We barely all have been in there. Although we are having a burning desire to age and become adults, our behavior and our appearance though don't correlate at all.

How hard even we’re trying to participate in conversations with the older ones there is no possibility for anyone to take us seriously. And why should they anyway? We are just kids for them…

And that hurts, we feel we have no value and we are rejected.

Nevertheless, I'm sure that you have reexperienced this kind of rejection. That feeling of ignorance, like we suppose to not be there…It is so sad. Unfortunately, some people confront that indifference still very often— while for others that seems a totally strange situation because they always are used to draw attention.

Hence I started wondering: “What is the basic difference between these two kinds of people?”
How to Build Confidence Like a Chess World Champion
By: Mighty Knowledge
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Inspiration, Chess, Confidence

The Confidence Cycle

Part of Kasparov’s skill in chess was his confidence. He fed off of it, using it to play faster and more aggressively. He made bold moves that intimidated his opponents. It was his weapon of chess power.

It is often said that having confidence helps you to perform at a higher level. But, as is evident with Kasparov, the reverse is also true: Playing as if you are already at a higher level helps you to develop your confidence. The more boldly you play, the more confident your mindset becomes. Each big move you make is proof to yourself that you can make big moves like a confident person would. Your confident play gives you more confidence, and your new confidence raises your skill level; it’s a powerful compounding effect.

You can use this compounding effect of confidence to your advantage. Whenever you’re feeling anxious or lacking confidence, ask yourself: how would I act if I were already at a higher level? Asking that simple question can often reveal the very simple thing that you need to do to succeed. You make one higher-level move, which then gives you even more confidence to make another. And another, and another.

Let your actions inspire your confidence, and your confidence inspire your actions. Work like you’re the best in your industry. Talk like you’re an expert in your field. Dress like you’re a strong and sexy person.

When you convince yourself to act like you’re already at a higher level, your performance and skill will come out naturally. Your mind and body adapt to perform at the required level because you’ve convinced yourself that’s who you are. Eventually, the compounding effect of confidence will take hold and turn you into a confident person in every way.
Who Should You Take Advice From?
By: Mary Gallagher
Tags: Advice, Advice and Opinion, Decisions, Decision Making, Confidence

If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your decisions based on feedback and advice from others, here is a story that will help you.

You know the scenario all too well. You make a decision — about a job, a house, what to wear to a party — and then begin to second guess yourself when you hear what someone is wearing, working on, or buying.

Maybe I should do what they are doing, you think. They sound so confident about their decision. And you begin to waffle, changing your outfit or your plans and in the process losing your confidence.

The problem with indiscriminately looking to others for direction is that when you go against your better judgment or take the advice of someone else after you’ve made a decision that felt right for you, you abdicate your power to another.

Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel a sense of loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual sadness. — Shakti Gawain

There’s a story about a father, a son, and a donkey that rings true and sounds like the advice from Ricky Nelson: You can’t please everyone; you’ve got to please yourself.

After all, you have to live with the consequences of your decisions so it's best to know yourself and trust your ability to make decisions that are right for you.

A boy, his father, and a donkey

A boy and his father set out on a long journey. They had a donkey so the father placed the young boy on the donkey and they began their trip.

Soon they met a man who saw the boy riding on the donkey while his father walked beside the beast. He scolded the boy: How selfish of you to make your old father walk when you are young and strong. You should get down and let your father ride.

The boy and the father shrugged and changed places.

Soon they met an old woman who scolded the father for riding while his son walked beside him. What an awful father you are! Making your young son walk while you ride.

The father got down and walked beside his son for a while until they met another man who laughed at them. Why aren’t you using that donkey? Why should you walk when that donkey is strong enough to carry you both?

The boy and the father thought this made sense so the father hoisted the boy up onto the donkey, climbed up behind him, and they continued on.

Soon, they met a farmer who was aghast that they were both on top of the donkey. That’s much too heavy a burden even for a donkey. You are both selfish!

By the time the father and son entered the village at the end of their journey, they were carrying the donkey!

The moral of the story: no matter what you do, there will be people who cast doubt on your decisions. Listen to wise mentors, but give ignorant or inconsequential people no place in your decision making.

I find that the more I trust myself the simpler life becomes. Big decisions become a matter of trust. Are you seeking simplicity? At Simple Life Simple Faith we talk about the things that matter — no stress, no fuss! ~Mary
13 Reasons Why You Can Accomplish Anything
By: Deante L. Young
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Inspiration, Confidence, Self

You’ve overcome difficult shit many times in the past.

2. You bring something unique to the table that no one else does.

3. Oprah Winfrey overcame poverty, teen pregnancy and abusive relationships to become the first Black female billionaire In history.

4. LeBron James overcame a single parent household, a poverty stricken life to become a legendary professional athlete and businessman.

5. JAY-Z overcame a single parent household, living in a dangerous housing project and a drug dealing past to become a multi platinum recording artist, multi time award winner and a billionaire businessman.

6. Barack Obama overcame his own ethnicity in a long standing racially divided country to become the first black president in the history of the United States.

7. Your own life experiences gives you an original perspective that can be channeled into something of massive value for other people.

8. Self-Doubt and limiting beliefs are normal and natural emotions and everyone, including legends have them.

9. Resistance is a huge part of accomplishing anything significant. When you feel it, you’re on the right track.

10. You don’t have to feel confident, ready or worthy to try something that’s intimidating. Confidence is overrated and courage is far more important.

11. Passion and consistency will allow you to outlast anything and anyone else. It’s natural to overestimate others and underestimate yourself. You have more power than you think, just stay the course.

12. You overcame your biggest odds at the time of conception. Just becoming a human being requires beating literally hundreds of billions of odds. When you beat out all other sperm, you proved your own incredible resilience.

13. You are your own worst critic which means that you’re probably overlooking a lot of your important attributes. You have what it takes right now! No other tool or advice needed. Just start whatever you’re aiming for.

I believe in YOU. Now I want YOU to believe in YOU!

*Having trouble believing in yourself? Check out my “Supercharge Your Confidence in 6 Simple Steps” checklist.
Mysterious Woman
By: Amy Pierovich
Tags: Mystery, Stories, Poetry, Confidence, Woman

Mysterious Woman

Photo by hessam nabavi on Unsplash

Beautiful young enchanting woman,

Azar, Mahtab, Shadi, Yasamin, Zareen?

I love your your crescent-moon eyes, thick hair, the dewy texture of your skin.

You gaze directly into the camera — so much confidence in you.



No make-up needed on this face.

Your features tell their own story:

You are as a flame that reflects the light of the moon,

full of joy, sweet as the jasmine flower,

yet strong and precious, made of gold.

I wish I could know you,

mysterious woman —there are so many endless layers to you.

We could exchange stories until the break of dawn,

and then there would still be more,

I would want to know,

about you.
Start Looking for Ways to Become a More Confident Writer
Tags: Self Improvement, Life, Writer, Confidence, Freelancing

For Starters, I Need to Improve My Confidence.

One of the reasons I don’t try to market myself as a freelance writer and life coach is that I’m not confident.

I spend too much time in my head thinking of all the reasons why I won’t make it in this business and how I’m going to spend my whole life working in a grocery store.

And, you know what?

That’s incredibly depressing, and it brings down my self-esteem even lower, which makes me stand in my way.

I need to look for ways to bring up my self-esteem and confidence in my writing; we all do.

We’re not going to improve in life if all we do is tell ourselves that we’re not good enough and we have nothing to offer the world.

I’m guilty of this, hardcore.

I’ve had several writers on Medium tell me that they’ve read my work and think I’m a great writer. I need to work on being consistent.

These are the writers I look up to, telling me I’m a great writer, but the little voice in my head tells me I’m not.

I need to sit down and ask myself, who am I going to believe?

The writers who are successful telling me they can see me making $10,000 a month or the disagreeing voice in my head who’s the only goal is to sabotage my dream.
Brilliant!
Tags: Confidence Trick, Confidence, How To Be Confident

Brilliant! Today I have learned something new! Inverse paranoia! Now to go and apply it to my life and if anyone asks I will pass it on ;)
I Was a Boring Person Before Becoming a Writer on Medium
By: Quy Ma
Tags: Writing, Self Improvement, Inspiration, Confidence, Self

My secret sauce

I had set out on a journey to be influential with my words in September 2020. Three months later, here I am.

I hate bragging and I hate shouting out my accomplishments, but if someone asked me how I was doing, the data doesn’t lie. Self-reflecting on my progress, I’m up to 2,000 followers on Medium and 1,200 followers on Twitter. I hit 1,000 connections for the first time on LinkedIn a few weeks ago. I own a wonderful publication that is growing faster than I had ever anticipated. And lastly, I’m an active contributor to some of the biggest publications on Medium.

So for all the people (I think) that will ever read my stories, idolize me, and put me on a pedestal, I’m here to tell you the most important thing to help you gain confidence in your writing.

Here it is — Are you ready for it?

I’m human. Yep. I’m still that normal, regular, boring, corporate 9–5, gamer geek from white-as-milk suburbia Utah, just writing away on Medium!

I still consider myself a new writer. Hell, I have a hard time even considering I’m a writer at all. If someone asked me, “What do you do in your spare time?” I can’t even see myself replying, “Oh, I’m a writer.” Cringe!

I’m still riddled with insecurities about my abilities to tell a good story and wondering if people like my writing at all. It still shocks me to this day that I hear positive feedback about my articles. I’ve always been bad at receiving compliments. And here’s the thing — I think I still have a long way to go on Medium.

So guess what? For most people, whether you have 10 followers or 10,000 followers, you’re still the same person as you were when you set out on your journey.

One of the most common things I’ve heard from writers when I approach them about my publication, About Me Stories, is when they express hesitation and say, “Oh, I’m not that interesting to talk about.”

Of course, you are. You’re the only you in the whole wide world, throughout the history of the world. You are unique. You, yourself have experiences in this world that no one else has ever experienced. These unique stories are stories worth telling.
These 3 Phrases Make You Sound Less Confident
By: Eugenio Cibruscola
Tags: Self-awareness, Communication, Personal Branding, Confidence, Personal Development

These 3 Phrases Make You Sound Less Confident

Photo by Raphael Schaller on Unsplash

Communication can help you achieve your goals or be the reason you don’t.

My passion for communication started with word analysis while studying and learning languages. I was driven by the desire to know how a word in my native language would be translated, used, and interpreted in a foreign language. I would ask myself: what emotional response do the words I choose evoke in the person I am speaking with? Which other words could I use? Why? I then focused more and more on analyzing phrases rather than single words.

When I started working, I was told I didn’t exude confidence because of the phrases I’d choose when speaking. Since then, I have been paying close attention to the words people considered confident would use.

I learned that the following phrases make you sound less assertive when speaking. Avoid them, and you’ll notice a difference in the way you come across and in the outcomes you achieve.

1. “It is my understanding that”

I was delivering a presentation, and halfway through the flow, a person asked a question. I started answering, “It is my understanding that the solution will look like…” when the person cut me off, saying, “So you don’t know for sure what it will look like.”

If it is your understanding, then it is not everyone’s understanding. If what you are saying stems from a conversation with someone, perhaps a person helping you with your product/solution/service/etc., don’t be afraid to mention them. After all, your understanding must come from somewhere.

In the example above, I could have replaced my understanding with, “The team ABC is building the solution to look like X.”

2. “I think that”

While there is nothing inherently wrong with saying what you think, starting a sentence with “I think” may indicate you don’t know.

Compare these two sentences:

“I think the project will go ahead as expected.”

“The project will go ahead as expected.”

Which one sounds more powerful? You may be unsure about the project, in which case you know you will need to do more research before talking to an audience.

3. “I am looking to do/go/start/etc”

If you are looking to do something, you haven’t really committed to it. It sounds like you started thinking about it but haven’t got the ball rolling. Are you looking casually or purposefully?

Compare these two statements:

“I’m looking to start my exercise routine next Monday.”

“I am starting my exercise routine next Monday.”

Which one makes you sound like you have an intentional focus? Whenever you catch yourself saying, “I am looking to do something” stop and ask yourself, “Am I really committed to this or not?”
True magnetism
By: Salona Carlisle
Tags: Dating Advice, Singles, Beauty, Confidence, Single Life

Secretly, you want to be wildly attractive.

You want to be seen, noticed, and stand out in a crowd.

You want to know that the whole world desires you.

You want to feel that your presence is captivating and your energy is palpable.

You want to be magnetic, undeniable, and unforgettable.

You want to be THAT woman who turns heads in whatever space you walk into.

So, you do all of the transformational work.

You listen to the right podcasts.

You follow the right people on IG.

You even do the yoga and sensual dancing.

You attend the webinars and workshops that promise to teach you what you believe you still need to learn and become…

All because there’s a deep female conditioning around judging yourself based on how you’re perceived by others.

No matter how hard you try, you still lie in bed alone in the stillness of the night

Confronted with a feeling of hollowness

Feeling totally invisible

Wondering if you might be broken

And exhausted from your constant pursuit of enough ness…

When you rely on the outside to feel the way you want to feel, you will spend your whole life chasing acceptance, validation, and attention.

You will project your own magic and power onto something outside of you

And make others the source of your happiness and pleasure.

It’s possible to feel whatever you want without any confirmation from anyone else.

For example…

The level of love you can feel is only based on the level of love you can create within yourself.

As long as you haven’t developed the capacity to feel love in your own body and believe you are worthy of love, then you won’t be able to truly let it in from any external source either.

And you know what?

THE best time to cultivate the qualities you desire is when no one is giving you the feedback to lean on…

Because if you can find them then — without relying on any external validation — you own them forever.

This is the embodied path back to feminine wholeness that I teach my clients.

When you know that YOU are the source of all the amazingness that will ever happen in her life…

That’s true freedom and true magnetism.
What’s missing from the ‘Be Yourself’ advice
By: Bulcha, The Charismatic Nerd
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Self Development, Inspiration, Confidence

Cliches rot my brain.

People go around preaching cliches yet show no action to support it. Why bother saying something if you don’t exude it.

Alright, before I get into another unsolicited rant, I want to talk about the dumb advice of ‘Be Yourself.’

I was doing some thinking and was wondering what was missing from it.

It sounds like great advice but why do so many people struggle with implementing it?

I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Until earlier today, where I realized that ‘Be Yourself’ advice only works when one thing is accepted.

Photo by Gabriel Silvério on Unsplash

Without it, ‘Be Yourself’ is a pretty pointless venture.

In order to ‘Be Yourself,’ you must first accept yourself!

It seems obvious, right?

Wrong!

If people accepted themselves, then it would be natural for them to just be. But that’s not the case. Instead, they try to live up to some imaginary standard where they act cool, suave, and popular.

Yet when trying to live up to these shallow standards, people are rejecting themselves.

And when people reject themselves, well, they come off as a knock-off version of any authentic individual.

Like I mentioned before, you need to be unified internally to advance in life.

You also need to love yourself.

You also need to respect yourself.

And most importantly, you also need to accept yourself.

Once that is accomplished, you not only start being yourself but instead, you become a more enhanced version of yourself.

It’s like all your energy is devoted to expressing yourself, instead of fighting itself.

Life does become different.

You’ll have an amazing personality, you will come off as more attractive, and you’ll seem naturally confident.

All this and more can be yours.

But you have to accept yourself.

Mind you, this is not easy. That’s why I recommend therapy, journaling, or Jordan Peterson’s self-authoring.

You only have one life to live.

So make it a life where you finally accept yourself.

(If you enjoyed this short article, then click here to join my email list where you get a daily boost of confidence every morning plus the free Self-Improvement Cheat Sheet for Nerds.)
How to maintain success once it is achieved? (Friend D)
By: Qahera Miyajiwala
Tags: Coach, Success, Empathy, Confidence

Just a recap of the blog, “The Ladders of Life”, there were 4 friends whose starting point was the same and each of them had been given a ladder.

One friend achieved his outcome {D}. One friend was sabotaging his own success {A}, one was not moving from where he currently was {B} and the third could not make much progress as every time he moved ahead, he fell back down and then tried again and fell again and was stuck in a pattern {C}. A coach who was also present tried to help the 3 friends who were struggling.

‘D’ had been in constant touch with the Coach and thus could quickly climb up and achieve his outcome. He never looked back down again.

‘D’ had followed the system of the Coach selectively according to what he felt would help him achieve his goal. He did not pay much heed to the rest.

He thus achieved success but was not empathetic. A person who follows a Life Coach’s system to the dot generally develops a sense of empathy as his mindset changes.

As ‘D’ climbed the rungs he cut the lower ones so there was no way he could go back down or even be in touch with people who were not doing as well as him unless he lost his balance and came crashing down.

When a person loses sight of how others are living they may tend to forget how others feel in different situations. This can be detrimental as ‘No man is an Island’ and at some point in time ‘D’ might require the help of someone lower down the ladder. Because he cannot connect with those lower down ‘D’ may not be able to get the help he requires. If he does manage to get the help it will be short-lived as he will end up alienating those who are trying to help him.

If you are given access to a system and a coach and you follow everything that is asked of you, you will reach your outcome with a heightened sense of empathy. This was why ‘C’ eventually succeeded and was still able to help those below him who were still struggling.

Once ‘C’ reaches the top of the ladder he could help ‘D’ re-connect with those lower down before ‘D’ loses his footing. ‘C’ can also help the ‘Coach keep ‘D’ on the right track and show him the importance of following everything the Coach says. This will help ‘D’ be successful whilst keeping those who are lower down in his corner. This will help ‘D’ live a happier and more fulfilled life and prevent him from crashing down that could hurt his Ego whilst killing his confidence.
How to be more attractive
Tags: Law Of Attraction, Attraction, Confidence, Love, Attractive

Rules to increase attraction

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Can you fall in love with someone you have never met in person? Or do we have to get to know a person on a personal level ? such as their likes-dislikes, habits, behavior is this the only way to see if you’re compatible?

Falling in love is one of those things you either believe in or don’t. Physical appearance is one of the driving force behind attractiveness and this is the first thing that people notice about you. But don't be fooled, Attraction also relies on the way you carry yourself, how you treat people, and the kind of people to associate with.

With a positive mindset, you can unveil your natural beauty and look more attractive.

Lets dive in:

Be confident : Analyze your life see what makes you, uniquely you. One of the surest ways to lose confidence is try to be someone else. Be true to yourself. Find your limits by exposing yourself to different situations and pushing through the uncomfortable.

Once you have confidence in yourself, you’ll be amazed what you can accomplish. Groom yourself ,it’s amazing how much of a difference it can make in you feeling confident and for your self-image. Dress nicely, if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You need to feel confident to be confident.

Be a good listener :Some people are very good at speaking, telling their stories and being able to inspire others. But being a good listener is often more important than speaking.

It gives a deeper level of understanding about someone’s situation and it helps connects people. Be attentive and make good eye contact, don’t interrupt when the other person is speaking and show an interest in what is being communicated.

Make your partner laugh : women are more attracted to men who can make them laugh. You would want to have a partner who is fun to be around. Your looks may fade, however humor will keep the relationship alive.

Be kind : Be kind to yourself, and to others. Look for ways you can promote peace within your own community. Help someone out in a practical way, Encourage a friend or family member when they are uncertain, choose words with positive intention and be mindful when you speak.

Understand non verbal cues: Good communication skills can be helpful in your personal life. While verbal communication skill is important, research has shown that nonverbal behaviors make up a large percentage of our daily communication. By paying closer attention to other people’s unspoken behaviors, you will improve your own ability to communicate nonverbally.

“That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.”

― John Green, Paper Towns

What is most important is to love yourself and be patient, as it is impossible to fully love someone else without loving yourself first!
Be Humble. Stay Confident.
By: Evan Daniels
Tags: Leadership, Confidence, Personal Development, Growth

Get it? BEE HUMBLE!

A few years ago, I had a small agency called Magicbird Creative.

(It wasn’t a great agency, but it was an amazing learning experience)

While there, I starting using this mantra to teach confidence in work: Be humble, but stay confident.

As creatives, we need feedback to know how what we’re doing works. We need people’s outside perspectives. And we need to swallow our pride to hear feedback. We need to take our ego out of our creativity (which can be very hard to do). We need to be humble, not believing that we’re the only creative who does perfect work.

But we don’t need to be a doormat. It’s important to be confident in the work we do. While we accept feedback, we also know what good work is. And more importantly, we know when we've done good work. We need to be confident, not cowering in the corner, scared to be creative.

If we do both of these at the same time, all kinds of opportunities will open themselves for us! We become easier to work with (and to tolerate). But more importantly, we become better creators.

Be humble. Stay confident.
Is Negative Self-Talk Killing your Self-Esteem?
By: Boss Up
Tags: Self Esteem, Affirmations, Self Belief, Negative Self Talk, Confidence

You’ve probably heard of your Inner Critic. In fact, you probably heard too much from your Inner Critic, and it’s not doing your self-esteem any good at all.

How often have you seen something like an opportunity, a new job, an advertisement to run a marathon, or a course you’d love to take and felt a spike of excitement? But then did you immediately squelch your enthusiasm because you thought “I’m no good at that,” “I probably wouldn’t get it,” “but I’m not that sort of person?”

The water torture of negative self-talk can erode your confidence and leave you with a constant dark view of your qualities and capabilities. This self-view is not just bad for your self-image — it can build up an edifice of self-doubt that can stop you rising to challenges, making the most of your talents, or just having fun. And it’s just not true.

If you only focus on your failures, you’re giving them an importance they don’t deserve. You’ll never give yourself the chance to be your best you. If you habitually “catastrophize,” you can be unconsciously working towards creating the worst happening.

You can choose to turn this around — try these three techniques to halt your Inner Critic in its tracks.

Notice your self–talk: What is it saying, what is it focused on? Whose voice can you hear? Often our subconscious messages are drafted in early childhood — when your Inner Critic’s scripts are laid down. What information were you given then? Were you told you were untidy, careless, stupid, no good at math/spelling/reading? What was your label in the family? Limit your exposure to people who are negative: These people thrive on negativity and enjoy dragging others down with them. If you cannot avoid them altogether, spend as little time with them as possible. You already struggle with negative self-talk, so you don’t need them adding more negativity. If you spend more time with positive people that build you up, your negative self-talk will naturally reduce.

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

I carried a note that read, “I am the only thinker in my universe. I am responsible for what I think about. I refuse to give power to any person, place or thing to annoy me or disturb me. I wish them well, & I know they are guided in all their ways.” I’d read it every time I felt negative emotions due to criticism.
This is a worthwhile message for women to tune out all the demeaning and controlling behavior that men inflict on them,
Tags: Life Lessons, Sexism, Motivation, Inspiration, Misogyny

Stop Letting People Who Do So Little for You, Control So Much of You

4.4K 17
Rewatching Hannah Montana on Disney+
By: Brianna Jensen
Tags: Hannah Montana, Ew, Sexism

Rewatching Hannah Montana on Disney+

My first initial reaction was pure excitement because this was my favorite TV show growing up!

I’m now into the second episode, and Jackson (Hannah/Mileys brother) just bought a new car with his own money. Apparently the car he got was a car for “chicks" and not for men. Keep in mind, this is a normal red car with a convertible roof — sort of a knock off jeep style of vehicle. Nothing about this car screamed “chick’s mobile" to me. The dad, and a friend were both picking on Jackson for his car choice, and they even went as far as trying to return the car as to not be seen driving a girly car. Um, what? So we are supposed to take the moral of the story as always return items that are “strictly" for the other gender, as to not be made fun of by our same gender? We all know that gender isn’t defined by materialistic items, right? It hardly is even defined, period.

The moral of THIS story is, probably best to not go back and rewatch old Disney TV shows, unless you want to uncover the racist and sexist ideals that were hidden in every episode.

Thanks for reading my prompt, there will probably be more to come, as I am now on episode 3, determined to uncover more.

-brianna
Please enjoy my first pieces as a writer for ILLUMINATION-Curated; I am honored by the confidence…
Tags: Racism, Spirituality, Life Lessons, Sexism, Cain And Abel

Please enjoy my first pieces as a writer for ILLUMINATION-Curated; I am honored by the confidence in me and mentorship expressed by Dr Mehmet Yildiz. The piece on my Mark of Cain is very personal — my vulnerability is my superpower. The second piece is my finest expression of this superpower. It is not a parable. It is a true story.

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash
As Long as Systemic Discrimination Exists, it Affords Opportunities for Invaluable Life Lessons, Higher Ascension, and Positive Karma for Future Incarnations
Tags: Racism, Spirituality, Life Lessons, Sexism, Karma

As Long as Systemic Discrimination Exists, it Affords Opportunities for Invaluable Life Lessons, Higher Ascension, and Positive Karma for Future Incarnations

No one deserves to be mistreated but we agreed to it in our soul contracts. Marcus Follow Dec 26, 2020 · 5 min read

Before you shoot me and whoever publishes this, please read on and read every single word in context. I pray for you to do so and read past the shocking but true words and hear the message I hope to impart.

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash (do you see the monster??)

Yesterday I deeply contemplated racism and sexism in America and my standing in the discussions. As a white male deemed to have benefited from the isms, I have thus been told I have no standing at all — that I should shut up, sit down and listen to the oppressed because I don’t know what the fuck I am talking about. Ten months ago I would have agreed. Today I vehemently disagree.

I do not condone nor excuse discrimination and ideally its stain will be wiped from the planet one day. The following is pinned to my Twitter profile:

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all people are created equal, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and therefore discrimination against any person on any basis is unconstitutional

What I am saying is simply that if one is subjected to discrimination, there may be a life-lesson opportunity that transcends the dichotomy of right vs wrong.

Knowing that I have lived 17,042 previous lives, I know I have more than likely walked in many shoes, and to paraphrase and converge Arcade Fire and World Party:

I would rather be wrong

Than live in the shadows of your song

My mind is open wide

So I shall put the message in the box

Put the box into the car

Drive the car around the world

Until I get heard

Now I’m ready to start

Because now is the moment, please understand

The road is wide open to the heart of every man

Now I’m ready to start

Until I get heard
Machismo no Google Tradutor
By: Luiza Vasconcelos
Tags: Algorithms, Sexism

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