What a ride.
By: Daniel Courtenay
Tags: 2020, Gratitude, Mindfulness

2020 has delivered twists and turns for all of us…

Around this time last year, I wrote a piece called “A Decade in Review” which was specifically meant to look back at some of the lessons the previous decade had taught me. This morning I read that piece for the first time in a year, and it’s hard to reconcile the number of changes and challenges these past months have delivered.

This year impacted everyone, and regardless of how it’s ended, we’ve all been, in some way shaken by C19 — the levels of hopeless and helplessness this virus and its associated economic lockdown delivered are life-shattering. Losing people we love, unemployment, incomes stunted, business’ gone in the blink of an eye — it’s been brutal and I fear the worst is not yet over.

Having said that. I believe that all dark moments have room for gratitude, and sometimes the work is in identifying where that gratitude lives.

At the beginning of March my Mom passed after a short and difficult battle with Cancer. Her death is still something I’m processing and although lockdown provided some opportunity for this, it was only after I downed tools on the 18th December that the space for real consideration of her passing became possible. The challenge that was 2020 meant no time to stop, as we had to fight, continuously, and endure.

I’d been mulling over some big decisions regarding where I was in my career while dealing with my Mom’s ill-health. I never expected to simultaneously be making this major change a mere month after her passing. As a result of the rapid impact of Covid on the economy, by early April I’d resigned from two business’ I’d been involved in since inception. This was a loss of its own after a close-on 7-year run.

No one could have predicted that lockdown was on the horizon and the unexpected consequences it would have, but just one month later we were in deep; level-5 lockdown, trying to process what was going on; parentless, jobless, and in reality, very soon penniless.

I don’t need to tell anyone reading this, that this was the most inopportune time to try and find new work, what with the levels of unemployment reaching unparalleled heights, almost overnight.

My Wife was also experiencing professional challenges of her own, traversing the difficulties and intricacies of a business partnership gone awry while her communications company that services smaller, boutique clients was experiencing the natural, knock-on effect from the economic depression.

We quickly found ourselves staring down the barrel of no income for nearly 4 months while we scrambled to make ends meet. Thankfully, we were able to find a way and thanks to family and a reasonable landlord, we managed to make it through. For this, I am grateful.

I only told Holly this months later, but the day I was going to suggest we look at moving house, I got a call informing me that discussions I was in for new employment had concluded, and I was able to start work the very next day. For this, I am grateful.

It was shortly after this that Holly was dealt a health scare that saw her admitted to hospital at a time no one wanted to find themselves in a ward and, of course, no visitors were allowed. These memories from just 6-months ago are so vague that it feels like much longer, but, it was all unfolding this same year. Thankfully, she is good now. For this, I am grateful.

We managed to escape at the end of July, spending five days on the river in Bainskloof to celebrate my birthday. It was at this time that things were starting to return to some level of normalcy, post-lockdown, and it seemed this break was the beginning of life returning to something that felt familiar. I was reminded what the value of friendship means and that we have people around us who care. For this, I am grateful

Alas, the reprieve was short-lived. Not long after, I was diagnosed with a torn Meniscus and cracked cartilage which would lead to knee surgery. Although I was out of action for close on 3-months to recover, fortunately, I am back running and training again. For this I am grateful.

Things seem to have stabilised somewhat after the last couple of months, but not without pouring every morsel of remaining energy into making it through this year.

I’m happy to report the job is going well and has already delivered a bump in responsibility.

Holly has taken the opportunity to slow down and recalibrate, which is exactly what she’s needed, and for the first time in years she’s finding the space to explore herself creatively.

We’re under no illusion that the challenges for next year will continue to come, but we continue to be surrounded by love from both family and friends and the two of us are genuinely excited for the future.

I’m also back to training and running with my pooch.

For all of this, I am truly grateful.

I am acutely aware that this is not the case for all of us and know that one small move in a different direction could have left us somewhere completely different. I’m also aware that regardless of the cards we’ve been dealt, there is space for gratitude and conscious facilitation of the environment we find ourselves in.

I have learnt too many things to mention this year but some of the most important ones are;

— Wear a mask and sanitise — obviously!

— Cherish your family, look after them, do what you can to protect them.

— Be gentle with yourself.

— Keep moving — this generates momentum, momentum generates energy, energy propels you forward.

— Be grateful for even the smallest things.

— Try to remain present, it helps reduce stress about the past and anxiety about the future.

— Pause, breathe and consider everything consciously before reacting.

— You can’t control everything, so don’t try.

— Roll with the punches, be malleable and adaptable — you have to in the world we’re living in.

I wish you all an incredible next year, It wont be easy but we will be okay.