Few questions, infinite answers
By: Shakti Shetty
Tags: Observation, Life, Random, Questions

Does your significant half know what your favourite colour is? More interestingly, do you know what your favourite colour is? Most importantly, does it even matter? There are a lot of such questions that seldom affect us unless we sit down and think about them. They exist so that we can stare into oblivion and second guess ourselves: who we are and why do we change? For ages, I couldn’t even stand musk melon, so when the hell did it become my most preferred fruit? Is this because of the climate change and the rising temperature?

A futile exercise with a random questionnaire ends up making us aware of several (hidden) traits about ourselves. From time to time, I humour myself with conversations that don’t go anywhere but usually end up on this blog.

If you knew you are not going to wake up tomorrow, what would you do today?

Spend the entire day sleeping.

What are the two most important things to do?

Say hello and goodbye on time.

Why should you never attend your farewell party?

To help them learn to live without you.

Name one person you’d like to bring back from the dead.

As a boy, I’d have said, my ajji (grandma). As of now, I’d wait till death to meet her again.

You are alone in an elevator and it’s stuck in the middle for exactly an hour. What will you do?

Jumping jacks, push-ups, crunches and planks.

What’s the one skill nobody can teach you?

How to value yourself.

What is the longest you can talk on the phone?

2 minutes.

How long can you survive in solitary confinement?

Years, if not decades.

Share 3 movies everybody on this planet should watch.

Anand, The Shawshank Redemption and Fight Club.

Given a choice to name yourself, what would you do?

I’d go with Rama.

Do you believe in god?

This question is archaic now. The question should be, is there a need to believe in god? And the answer is quite simple: yes.

What about religion?

Religion ought to leave us alone as soon as possible.

Of all the regrets in your life, which one tops the list?

The inability to learn how to dance.

If you knew dancing, what would you do?

I’d wonder what should be the biggest regret in my life.

Let’s say you were to reincarnate but as a non-human being, who would you like to be? Why?

A female elephant in Africa. Because, Her Majesty!

Do you see yourself learning how to sing before you die?

No. But I do hear myself enjoying all sorts of music.

Why are people assholes to each other?

Maybe it has something to do with our aspirations — the desire to get ahead without knowing where exactly we are going.

What is the worst smell in the world?

The stench of helplessness.

Do you remember the nicest thing you’ve done for others?

I’ve kept quiet when need be.

And what about the nicest thing others did for you?

I was listened to when need be.

Is Kanye West crazy?

Depends on what he’s talking about.

When will India win the FIFA World Cup?

Whenever it happens, most probably, the women side will win before the men do.

Who is going to outlast everything on this planet?

Plastic.

What will we do after reaching Mars?

Feel sorry for ourselves.

Do you want to have kids?

Nope. However, I do wish to be as agile as they are.

Do you have a signature dish?

Yes, I call it Burjee-Al-Khalifa. Basically scrambled eggs with too much oil.

Why do people get married?

Because life is best shared with somebody who knows how it’s to be with you and yet decides to not leave you.

Besides India, which other country would you like to live in?

Bhutan.

Do you think you’ll get inked again?

Only after reaching 40.

What’s your earliest memory?

Sitting on my ajji’s lap in the corner room of our ancestral house which had no electricity (obviously) and looking at the wooden window.

What’s the worst thing you’ve put in your mouth?

Bad words for people who didn’t matter in the long run.

Why are the standards of journalism falling?

Because journalists are people too and nobody really cares about the truth.

When were you most starstruck?

When I interviewed Shashi Tharoor for mid-day. Was the only instance from my journalistic days when I asked for a picture with a celebrity. Apart from his eloquence, the fact that he completed his PhD at the age of 22 motivated me.

Is democracy in danger?

Not yet. But it will be.

What happens to unrequited love?

It evaporates with time. Natalie Portman has become just another Hollywood actress for me.

Define wait.

Sachin’s 100th century.

Name the greatest athlete of all time.

Not sure about ‘all time’ but it’s a battle between Federer and Messi.

Who showed up first – egg or chicken?

Plate.

Wisest words by a colleague.

“Kutte ki zindagi kutto ke saath.”

Where do you think dogs go after they die?

Heaven.

What about cats?

On the wall that separates heaven from hell.

How can you be a better friend?

By trying to become a better person.

On a scale of 0 to ∞, how content are you right now?

7.

When were you the happiest?

When I scored 87% in the 6th (final) semester of my diploma.

When were you the saddest?

When I told pappa that I can’t continue with engineering studies.

Why are we alive?

To find an excuse to not die anytime soon.

When will our prayers get answered?

As soon as we get to work.

What does a great question look like?

Your face right now.