Emotional Perfection?
By: Daniel Caruana Smith
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Psychology, Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health

The belief that we can achieve any form of perfection is inherently flawed. Ask yourself; is there a discipline in which you consider yourself perfect? Even if the answer is yes, I’m sure there is a critic somewhere willing to prove you otherwise. We are subconsciously driven towards this elusive concept which is perfection. Emotionally, society constantly points out how good it would be it to achieve a state of emotional perfection — in other words, to be completely happy forever.

If the last line sounds like an exaggerated cliche, you’re on the right track. For most of history, humankind has known better. Despite a lack of scientific, psychological knowledge and the influence of myth and superstition, our ancestors had a considerable degree of emotional intelligence (probably more than we give them credit for).

“We are subconsciously driven towards this elusive concept which is perfection.”

The ancient Greeks explored the inherently tragic nature of human existence, as well as that of our worldly projects. Christianity speaks of ‘original sin’; a sort of divine curse which we are plagued by from birth. Perhaps this explains why Christianity speaks of offerings or sacrifices — to remind the faithful of how insignificant their most prized possessions are.

“society constantly points out how good it would be it to achieve a state of emotional perfection — to be completely happy forever. For most of history, humankind has known better.”

So what are we saying here? Should we just accept a flawed nature and stop trying to improve ourselves? The fact you are reading this article proves otherwise. Conversely, the answer lies within a more mature acceptance of our nature as emotional beings.

“Despite all our achievements, mankind is still merely another species. We’ve even gone as far as to name ourselves homo sapiens; ‘wise man’, in an effort to set ourselves apart from anything else that looks or acts even remotely similar.”

Let’s put the theory into practice. Think back to a time when you felt strong, negative emotions. Examples may include a lack of empathy, unrequited love, a strong hatred, or an obsession with something or someone. Are you to blame for the sadness, emotional instability, feeling of loss, or jealousy you may have felt? Of course not.

Despite all our (apparent) achievements, mankind is still merely another species. We’ve even gone as far as to name ourselves homo sapiens, ‘wise man’, in an effort to set ourselves apart from anything else that looks or acts even remotely similar. Nonetheless, we can still observe similar emotions to those we feel in other species. Dogs tend to suffer from separation anxiety, whilst cats feel the need for companionship or solitude.

No matter how close to perfection we’d like to think we are, our very nature as complex, emotional beings prevents us from ever achieving it. In a sentence — we are inherently flawed that creatures, destined to experience negative emotions at some point or other in our lives.

“Should we just accept a flawed nature and stop trying to improve ourselves? The fact you are reading this article proves otherwise.”

So what’s the solution? By now I’m assuming you’ve realized that we can wisely come to no solution that will eradicate our emotional trials altogether. having established this, the next best thing would be to accept and prepare for what will inevitably come. This anticipation and acceptance can be summed up in one (rather unglamorous) word — consolation.

We will never achieve perfection, yet we can console ourselves, attribute meaning to our sufferings, and turn them into positive rituals. Consoling oneself during times of pain isn’t easy, and relies on two essential factors; a deep understanding of the issue and meaningful companionship to pull through.

Understanding what hurts us on its own won’t alleviate the pain, but has the power to dissipate secondary emotions and fears. It’s easier to deal with something when you know exactly what’s causing it.

On the other hand, companionship stops us from feeling alone and lost. Previous emotional experience will also help here, but few things are more reassuring during times of need than having a proverbial (or in some cases, physical) shoulder to lean on.