Yeah, I Thought Life Coaching Was Bullsh*t Too
By: Jonathan Greene
Tags: Life Lessons, Purpose And Calling, Personal Development, Life Coaching, Life Coach

Yeah, I Thought Life Coaching Was Bullsh*t Too

Until I Got Certified To Do It.

It grew on me. The idea of life coaching. But when I first heard about it as a profession, I called bullsh*t. Maybe it was because, at the time, I was unaware of any regulatory agencies so I figured any Tom, Richard, or Mary could call themselves a life coach. I wasn’t wrong.

But over the years, things changed. I opened my mind to the possibility that there lies real help in between therapy and business coaching. I used to think, who needs a coach for life? Um, literally everyone I f*cking know in the entire world and everyone they know and all of their cousins. And their cousins’ cousins. Fact.

It doesn’t mean everyone should feverishly search for a life coach right now, but do we really know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from someone who can help you get from where you are to where you want to be? We all think we can do it ourselves, but the proof that we can’t is basically all of humankind.

Life coaching is undergoing an explosive phase right now. I guess I hopped on the bandwagon (or rocketship) at the wrong time, but it fell into my lap.

I like to learn things. I like to add things to my repertoire. I had been thinking about life coaching and knew a few people who were doing it. I was a real estate coach and also served in an advisory capacity in several jobs I held in the past. Seemed kind of up my alley.

Then Jeff Barton, who I met here on Medium (this is also where we realized we were basically brothers), said he was thinking of taking a life coaching certification with the company co-founded by The Angry Therapist called Team JRNI. Yeah dude, let’s do it together. And off we went into the land of the unknown. To become life coaches.

The Bullsh*t Was About Ego

I would never need a life coach. I have my sh*t together. What kind of people would seek help getting their life to where they want it? Smart people. I wasn’t being smart. I was feeding my ego another flank steak. I had been to therapy. I had worked with a real estate coach who helped explode my business. I knew coaching, as a thing, worked. But there I was calling it bullsh*t.

“Anyone can do it, therefore I am too good to do it”, was the bullsh*t coming from me. Seriously, I stunk. I was like that baby at the two-year old’s birthday party sauntering around with a very low hanging diaper in the back and not because he likes low riders. Because he was packing some serious weight from active defecation. Picture. Me.

Fortunately, I was at a time in my life where I was actively reading, watching, and listening to everything I could get my hands on. And many of these life lessons wrapped inside a book, article, TED Talks, or podcast were opening my closed mind to the possibility that everyone, every single person, could benefit from someone who can see past their bullsh*t. And coming to this revelation meant I was starting to see past mine.

Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

The Biggest Lesson I Learned

There are a lot of them. Plenty I’m still learning. But one thing that stands out to me is the concept of holding space. In life coaching it’s used so much as a term, it’s basically like the surname Smith , but it really resonates with me. Can you hold space for someone? It’s a lot harder than you think, especially given the annoyance of modern technology.

The reason holding space is so important in life coaching is because we aren’t there to give you advice. We are there to help you give yourself advice. We are a facilitator. A conduit. We are there to pull the best back out of you from wherever you buried it. And holding space is just like it sounds. Being completely present for someone else.

Think of the norm. You are talking to someone and they are looking around. Looking at their phone. They interrupt you to tell you all about what happened to them even though they just asked about you six seconds prior. They can’t keep still. You can see the mental checklist they are working in their head while you tell them something important. It’s maddening. That’s not holding space.

Do you remember what it feels like to have someone hold space for you? Looking you in the eye. Allowing for silence. Lacking judgment. Think of someone putting their arms out and actually holding the space around you, for you. So nothing can penetrate it. It’s yours. When someone can do it for you, it can be magical. To be truly heard and felt in a single moment.

20 Weeks Later

Yes, 20 weeks. This wasn’t a weekend certification with Uncle Herbie in the conference room at Motel 6 or on that weird website that also sold goldfish in bulk. 20 weeks of intense learning with a variety of fantastic instructors. To be honest, it was a lot. More than I thought it would be in terms of the work. But also so much more than I thought it would be in terms of the impact and realization. Remember, I thought this whole thing was bullsh*t not that long ago.

I finished the course with a newfound appreciation for life coaches. Because the ones that were instructors in my cohort were f*cking ballers. They got it. They got what I didn’t earlier. They understood how to help someone else get their life going back in the direction it was supposed to. And not from a robotic manual. Because life coaches, more than many professions, thrive by incorporating their unique personality into their business.

It’s not competitive because of that. We all come to the table with past careers and unique experiences. An odd toolbox full of the most important things that happened to us, as well as the minutia that we almost forgot about. Until someone said something that touched a nerve and we knew that we had something to offer.

I’m proud of finishing the course. 20 weeks later I walked away certified as a life coach. And now it’s my turn to explain why it’s not bullsh*t to the rest of the world who still thinks it is. How am I doing?