11 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was In High School
By: Grace Gilfert
Tags: High School, Schools, Students, Teens, Teenagers

1. Your teachers actually do care about you.

This one didn’t really set until I accepted a tutoring position at my university. I helped managed a class of freshmen, organized lesson plans, and tutored the students in small groups once a week. And even though it was virtual, I felt connected to all of those students and they ended up teaching me more than they’ll ever know.

I got so nervous the first week of tutoring — I was worried the students wouldn’t like me or I wouldn’t be able to help them the way I wanted or something else would go wrong.

The learning process is messy, and while I worked with the students, I made lots of mistakes and learned from them. I adjusted my methods and adapted to student needs. And I never once gave up on a student, because I truly wanted to see all of them succeed.

After my first day working as a tutor, my stomach was tied up in knots from the nerves. That evening after I signed out of my last Zoom session, I had a sort of epiphany — teachers are just as uncertain standing up at the front of the classroom as you are sitting down at your desk!

Afterwards, I ended up emailing a high school English teacher who had embarrassed me (or so I’d thought) during a class. I see now that it was my careless behavior that probably embarrassed him, because I caught him off guard by disrespecting him.

Yes, your teachers may nag at you to follow the rules, call on you when you don’t have an answer, and make a big deal about you not doing your homework. But most teachers — not all, but most — have good intentions and want to see you thrive. Most teachers really do care about you not just as students, but as people. Respect that — even when you may not like it.

2. Swallow your pride and ask for help when you need it.

The sooner you learn this, the better.

To be honest, I’m still struggling to learn this one and I’ve had times in high school and college where I let course material confuse me to the point where I was beyond salvaging my grades. On the same token, I’m guilty of letting my personal problems build up until I break down. That isn’t healthy.

Three words: Talk to someone.

Speak to parents, teachers, or any other trusted adults about your issues, whatever they may be. Reach out to friends. And if you really think you have nobody to confide in, reach out to someone online! The world is at your fingertips and there are resources you can use from the comfort of your own home.

Going forward, know this: There is absolutely no shame in asking for someone else to lean on, because we’re all human and we all need a hand sometimes.

3. Yes, your GPA matters. No, not as much as you think it does.

Listen close on this one: You are so young. You have your entire life ahead of you. I know that getting an F — or even an A-, depending on how high your standards are — on that exam may seem like the end of everything. You won’t get into your dream school, then you won’t get into your degree program, and then you won’t get a job and oh gosh, what then?

When you start to think like this, I encourage to try this exercise: Close your eyes. Imagine yourself from an aerial view, sitting at your desk or laying on your bed. Wherever you are, imagine yourself sitting there. Zoom out so that you can see your entire town, then your entire country, and then the entire planet.

It’s a big world. You’re a small part of it, and whatever you’re going through, I promise that so much else lies outside the four walls of that high school.

Takeaway: Yes, try your best to get good grades. No, don’t stress yourself sick over a bad grade.

4. You should try anything and everything!

My dream when I was a kid was to become a published author, and it remains the same. However, when I was in high school, I didn’t write much at all outside of schoolwork. And in terms of a career path, I wanted to work as a psychologist but never did any job shadowing.

Use your free time wisely — try new things! Join a club, find an internship, or start a business. Volunteer your time around your community (hospitals, soup kitchens, etc.). Play in your school’s band or sing in the choir. Universities and employers care about what you do. That’s why at job interviews, the interviewer says, “Tell me about yourself.”

Figure out what you like to do — more specifically, why you like those things — and use the resources in your community to explore your interests. Even if you decide you don’t like something, that’s progress. Then you’ve had a valuable experience and you’re that much closer to finding your niche.

5. Everything that happens to you at this age will feel like the end of the world — but it never is.

Sounds like bull right now, but it’s absolutely true.

Broken heart? It’ll ache and ache until one day it doesn’t. Problems at home? More often than not, your family wants what’s best for you, regardless of how they show you. Struggling in a class? One grade doesn’t define you and you can always ask for help.

The point is that one day, you won’t even remember whatever is amiss in your world now. I’m getting a bit cliché again, but it’s going to be okay. Everything in life is a lesson, so take it or leave it.

6. Be kind to anyone who treats you poorly.

You’ll encounter bullies during high school, at least one or two. And I know you’ve heard it before, but here’s the thing: People who ridicule you are unhappy with themselves. Deeply, deeply unhappy.

You’re the bigger person in this situation. If someone consistently makes fun of you and puts you down, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re jealous. But it does mean that they really have nothing better to do than try and make you feel bad.

These people do not go away after graduation. You’ll find them in all walks of life. The best way to deal with a bully is to use their negativity as fuel to be a better person.

You should 1) entirely ignore or 2) be kind in return to these people. Don’t ever sink to their level.

“Everything in life is a lesson, so take it or leave it.”

7. You’re better off alone than in bad company.

If you’re hanging out with people who make you feel invisible, put you down, or pressure you, then you’re hanging with the wrong crowd.

For years, I stayed with a group of relatively toxic friends. Every day at lunch, I felt like it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t sitting there. They talked at me, not to me.

There’s nothing sad about sitting at lunch or study hall by yourself. You’re better off alone than with a bad crowd.

And as soon as I pulled out of that first friend group and started working on myself, new friends came to me — real friends. My new friends valued me as a person and didn’t try to change me.

8. Try not to judge people.

Put simply, you never know what someone else is going through behind appearances. Maybe the student with straight A’s is feeling pressured by her parents. Maybe that kid who bullies you during gym class has abusive parents. You really never know — simple as that.

9. You’re going to make mistakes. That doesn’t go away after high school, so get used to it.

In high school, hormones are running high and the pressure is on to figure out what you want to do after you graduate. There’s no denying that it can be a stressful junction in time.

You might break a few hearts. You might fall into the wrong crowd. You might lash out at a friend. You might fail a class. You might do none of these things, but the point is that you’re a flawed human being and you’re going to screw up.

That’s okay! Life is a learning experience. You’ll figure out when to let things go and when to make amends.

10. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do when you’re done with school…but once you’re a sophomore, start thinking about it.

I wish I’d thought more about what to do after high school. I didn’t visit a college until I was a senior in high school, so planning ahead definitely takes off some of the pressure. And plans can always change.

But as you get older and you try out new things, you’ll figure out what matters to you. Then it’s just a matter of figuring out how to fit your skills and values into your career.

However, take it all one step at a time. And never dignify the question “what do you want to do with your life?” with a response. It’s a ridiculous question. Way too broad to ask a kid!

Just think about life one step at a time.

11. Have fun and don’t feel bad about it.

And always remember to let loose and have fun every now and then. You’re a young adult, but you’re still a kid!

Go to football games and on field trips and adventures with your friends. These are some of the brightest memories of my high school years, so make some of your own!