Is Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood Still Worth Watching?
Tags: Review, Anime, Geek, Anime Review, United Kingdom

In reviewing a series called JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, I think it’s fitting that we start by examining the titular JoJo himself: the thickly-eyebrowed Jonathan Joestar. Unlike the other JoJos, who either start the series as muscular badasses (Joseph, Jotaro) or are at least courageous enough to do what needs to be done (Josuke, Giorno), Jonathan begins his adventure as a (pretty wimpy) child, just introduced to his adoptive brother Dio Brando, a boy who jumps dramatically out of a stagecoach and begins a new, and troublesome, life as a member of the Joestar household.

The interesting thing about this setup is that it shows how Jonathan, emotionally manipulated by his foster brother and misunderstood by his clueless father, gained the kind of steely resolve and determination that would later define him. Dio kills his dog, poisons his father, and, famously, kisses his crush, but cannot destroy the will of Jonathan to prove himself righteous, even if he can defeat the Joestar boy at every turn.

The problem is that Jonathan’s character, even when fully developed (after the burning mansion fight), is not particularly interesting. What are his character traits? Oh, he’s so brave, so noble, so kind. What are his character flaws? Um…he’s too brave, noble, and kind? Jonathan’s one “failure” after his character is developed is the failure to destroy Dio’s head, but he can hardly be blamed for that, since no one fully knew what Dio was capable of. This is not helped by the fact that all the other characters, especially Robert E. O. Speedwagon, cannot stop praising Jonathan for being such a cool guy. Likable characters aren’t likable because they’re good people — they’re likable because they’re relatable, and Jonathan isn’t very relatable.

So much for Jonathan. Are the side characters any good? Well, there’s Speedwagon. A thief from the heart of the East End of London, Speedwagon’s inexplicable gratitude to Jonathan for punching him in the face — but nobly — is matched only by his desire to explain out loud what’s going on. He is a fan favorite, but — and I can only speak for myself here — Speedwagon memes aren’t quite as funny right after watching an episode of Phantom Blood. That’s because the guy is genuinely annoying. Action in anime does sometimes require explanation, but later seasons of JoJo’s would do this better. Plus, he steals Zeppeli’s hat.

Speaking of Will A. Zeppeli, the Italian baron is the only character to receive much in the way of backstory or character development. He is Jonathan’s friend and mentor, and a genuinely interesting character with a quest-for-revenge motive. He teaches Jonathan Hamon and goes on to die a hero’s death, becoming the first of many JoBros to heroically sacrifice themselves in the line of duty. If there is a problem with Zeppeli, it may be that his flamboyant appearance and serious manner don’t match — which, of course, is a series staple for JoJo’s, but since this is the first time we see it, it’s a bit disconcerting.

There are also a number of unimportant side characters, the most memorable of whom is probably Dire, who’s also on a revenge quest and uses probably the single greatest move in the whole anime with his Thunder Cross Split Attack. It’s so utterly impossible to suspend disbelief and take the show seriously when he does this, and I find it side-splittingly funny every time. I’m not sure his inclusion, or the inclusion of many of the others, added much to the story, but I’m willing to give Araki a pass on that. It was worth it just for that one line.

As far as villains go, Bruford and Tarukus are the only ones besides Dio to receive much attention. While they have an interesting backstory, featuring the only time in JoJo’s history that characters interacted with real historical figures, Bruford suffers from Speedwagon disease, and instantly sees the light after getting beaten down by Jonathan. Why? Because Jonathan is so noble. As if we didn’t know that already. As for Tarukus, he just sort of…stays evil, which makes more sense, but takes away any potential for character development.

The part’s best character is undoubtedly Dio himself. He has all of the agency in the plot and all the best lines, and he goes from cunning schemer to flamboyant villain over the course of the storyline. His goals are pretty vague, but that matters less than it maybe should — it doesn’t matter to me how he wants to be evil as long as he does it in style, with his army of Halloween-store baddies. Maybe viewers won’t find Jonathan relatable, but they will love to hate Dio. I wasn’t rooting for Jonathan as much as I was rooting for his foster brother’s destruction. It’s pretty obvious why Araki brought him back for another round — he must have been incredibly fun to write.