Rethinking Money: How to budget meaningfully and make your money talk!
By: Dohwa Jina Kim
Tags: Happy Money, Money Saving Tips, Financial Freedom, How To Save Money, Budgeting Tips

Money is a tricky concept. No matter how many times I am determined to keep track of it, analyze and croon over my budget and make better life choices, my determination to create the ‘financially free’ future is smartly tested at the launch of another eye shadow palette. I swear, this has worsened in tandem with my saving— the more I save, the more I convince myself that I deserve a break. I let go of so much, I deserve this one thing, right?

As I cut down on my cafe expenses, I realized that my spending in experiences has grown instead. While I have drastically reduced my time spent on clothing shopping (from every other weekend to none), I have also increased the number and scale of concerts I go to, investment in gadgets and equipment, and online classes I attempt to take. I become generous when expenditure is related to experiences — after all, I want to live a happy life, and happiness is said to be a habit captured in each moment. What I didn’t realize was that my thinking was grounded in scientific fact (adding a comforting dimension to my empirical thesis of saving more = spending more on leisure = that’s okay?)

According to Happy Money by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton, it has been proven that humans have a capped amount of joy that they can receive from purchasing n items. For example, there is a limit to how much joy can come from indulging in an EXTREME BEDROOM MAKEOVER. In other words, while your immediate surroundings may be more glamorous with that marble coffee table, your overall happiness remains unaffected. Despite your best efforts (and matched monetary expenditure), the room inside your head needed the most cleaning, organizing and remodeling to create real joy. The best part was the value is totally according to you.

Photo by Iryna Tysiak on Unsplash

Experiential purchases have proven to have lasting and impressionable impact on our average happiness. Meaning, that LV bag is unlikely to give you as much joy as the seven dollar plant you will learn to enjoy tenderly wipe the moisture off every day. Experiences are extremely personal and discovering what sparks your joy (and real joy, not just what looks good) may be the most important accomplishments in your personal life. Paying a few dollars to play a game may bring you more exponential bliss than embarking on a thousand dollar trip to Bali when you don’t even like to tan.

An important distinction was made between ‘possession,’ which most purchases fall into, and ‘leisure’ which can be everything from a stroll in the park to a volunteering trip with the church. Only one category reported significantly higher levels of happiness. Why so? Leisure is said to increase our connection with others, which is something we all crave more of in this day and age, biologically and spiritually, overtly or expertly concealed. It creates stories that others can relate to, spark inspiration or be a bookmarked lesson. Internally, it creates a narrative and a deeper connection with the self. I could have bought another shiny bracelet but will it ever compare to the time I collapsed on the floor, ear canals bursting and body overpowered by the resounding power of Jessie J’s voice? (True story). Experiences can never be exchanged, and the power I feel in each is wholly dependent on myself.

Understanding your values is a fundamental part reflected on your monetary spending. It’s all related — translating my stress into another useless item only brings in more clutter and angst. Knowing what I want and where I want to go is rooted at the core of all this money business. Saving up for more concerts have given me a stronger resonance with my budgeting, and this has given me more clarity with my life, tightening my interpersonal relations and sharpening my vision board for my future. Everything gets easier when it gets a little more strategic — and while these concert tickets do not come cheap, it lasts more permanently than material joys. Of course, best done in moderation.

Photo by Chris Lawton on Unsplash

It also makes me reflect on this truth:

“The greatest gift you can give to someone is time.”

While this particular piece of writing was focused more on the financial side of things, I have realized that while I am extroverted, the person I spend my time with really makes all the difference. Mediocre conversations make me feel spent, while engaging with someone on a deeper level gives me equal elation as going to an excellent skit. Spending money or time is equalized, it seems. I thought money was used to compensate for lack of time, but I get the feeling that it could be the same thing. After all, you are exchanging your time (and some will argue, much more) for money.

The problem with money decisions is that spending money feels disconnected, while giving your time to do something with others is perceived to be highly personal and reflective of the self. Yet, we should think similarly to where we are investing each dollar. Both should be spent wisely, and wisely is a highly personalized knowledge. It’s good to remind yourself ever so often:

Why am I saving money? What kind of future do I envision? How does money aid this? How much will I need? What is the amount that will make me happy? What fuels my purchases? Do I really need it or am I trying to compensate for an emotion I’m not dealing with? Will this add another thread to the weaving of my moral fiber, and ultimately my life story?