Set Intentions, Not Resolutions
By: Pm Kester
Tags: New Year, Intentional Living, New Years Resolutions, Resolutions, Intentions

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Congratulations on making it to 2021! I love when December hits and everyone is like “out with the old and in with the new.” The end of the year is an excellent time to take stock of your current year and plan for what is coming up.

As the first month of the new year, January often sits as the beginning of a new journey. Many people like to declare resolutions, and I am here today to say I HATE THAT WORD. Instead of resolutions, I would rather we set intentions. I’ll tell you why.

According to Oxford Languages, the word resolution is defined as a firm decision to do or not to do something or the quality of being determined or resolute. I have an issue with the firm decision part. Think about it; how many times have you resolved to do something in January (cutting carbs, anyone?), and then you mess up. Now the resolution is over because you failed once and decided redemption was not an option.

Since a resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something, it can appear that there is no allowance for grace. It seems like a one strike, and you’re out system. How can health, dreams, and goals be one strike and you’re out? Failure is a part of life, but our culture of setting resolutions does not seem to embrace that. Quite the contrary, it feels that if you fail in your resolutions, it’s game over!

Let’s look at the word intention, which is defined as a thing intended in aim or plan. I like the word intention better because it’s not as firm as the word resolution. The intention is something that we aim to do. The word gives us a little more grace and time.

Whereas by using the word resolution, your resolve is firm, and there is no room for error. It makes you feel a little bad if you resolve to do something and then you don’t do it. You feel like there are repercussions, whereas if you intend to eat right and you don’t, it’s like, well, I had a crappy day, but tomorrow’s a new day, so I intend to eat better tomorrow.

Last year I set an intention to be selfish. In 2019, my focus was on being fearless. In 2018, I was seeking peace. I was happy that I set intention instead of resolution because I failed and restarted many times on all of these journeys. If I had resolved to be selfish, one setback in January of last year could have seen me going back to being a quiet mouse who everyone run over. Instead, I rebounded, asked for what I wanted the next time opportunity presented itself, and this yielded great results. The end of year result of my selfish year was more confidence and finding my voice again.

I utilized three breakaways in setting my intention for 2021. I hope that they help you on your journey to making this year one of your best. I also hope it yields the results you wish to see in your life.

Breakaway 1: Reassess Your 2020.

I decided in mid-2020 not to let pandemics or politics derail me. However, I can’t lie and say that both of these things had not impacted me significantly last year. To gauge this impact, I had to take a break to assess my career, money, and relationships.

Take at least 30 minutes to jot down significant issues with these things for 2020. Regarding your career: What wins did you have? What were your losses? What were your biggest career lessons? Now, do the same thing for money and relationships. Then, take those lessons learned and use them to create a plan (intention) in each of those areas for 2021. You have the time. Let’s implement those things that are within our power to set the intention for 2021!

Breakaway 2: Don’t Be Afraid To Fail.

Read this next sentence in your Oprah Winfrey voice: Two things I know for sure are that fear will happen, and failure is a fact of life.

Even the most confident people get scared sometimes. The most successful people often fail. Change usually happens when you take a leap and do some things afraid — start a new career, learn to trust in a relationship, get serious about trying to save money. Sometimes these endeavors will flourish, and sometimes you will fail. However, I believe there is always a lesson in failure, and we can’t grow without these lessons. When setting your intention for 2021, know that it’s okay to fail. Learn from it and try again.

Breakaway 3: Take A Break To Follow Through.

A lot of our intentions deal with time. We fail to follow through because we lack the drive to set aside the time. If your intention for 2021 is education, set aside time to achieve it. That time could be for registering for classes at the local university. It could be taking a certificate program via Coursera. It could be dedicating one hour every Sunday to study a particular author; however, you must set aside the time to follow through on your intention. Put it in your phone and computer calendar, write it in dry erase as a mirror reminder, or schedule it in Alexa. But set aside the time to take a break to follow through on your intention.

My overall intention for my life is to invest less in drama and stress and more in love and light. As I embark on 2021, I intend to focus on the word GROWTH. By taking intentional breaks, I will allow the time to look at ways to impact growth in my career, finances, and relationships. What is your intention for 2021? How did the breakaways help you in setting an intention for 2021? Please sound off in the comments. I can’t wait to hear from you!

PM Kester is the host of How To Take A Break — The Podcast. She is also the break taking mother of two girls. She resides in Atlanta, GA.