Becoming a Better Coach
Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Agile, Learning, Growth Mindset

You cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. ~Steve Jobs

When I reflect on my journey (so far), I see a motivation (or drive) of wanting to make an impact. I don’t think this is unique to me as I hear this frequently in my coaching sessions. Almost everyone I know or coach is motivated to make an impact or some kind of a difference. We all know intuitively that motivation by itself is not enough. Just like having a passion is not enough but that’s a topic for another day. BJ Fogg Behavior Model shows that there are 3 elements for a behavior to occur: Motivation, Ability, and a Prompt.

To me, the impact I want to make usually means two things: become better (the being) and make work better (the doing). As I gained more experience, I noticed that these two things are connected but in the beginning of my journey, I was mostly focused on making work better (the doing). I came to realize that if I want to make an impact, I need to become better and to become better, I must continue to work on myself (the being).

Start with Awareness

The more you know, the more you don’t know. ~Aristotle

It almost always start with awareness but awareness has levels. My first level of awareness when I realized that I needed to focus my attention more on working on myself. I wanted to work on myself because I wanted to help my team become better. And I wanted to help my team become better because I wanted to make an impact. And I wanted to make an impact because it was fulfilling and meaningful to me. Sometimes it helps to drill down or dig deeper into what does making an impact mean to you and what will it give you. Most likely there’s a value you are trying to honor.

Having the motivation and with my initial awareness, it prompted me to sign up for Co-Active Fundamentals and ORSC Fundamentals. That’s when I found a new level of awareness. Seeing the 4-stage competence model brought a new level of awareness even thought I have seen it before.

It was then that I moved from my big goal of becoming better to concrete coaching skills I needed to level up and practice. Awareness starts when you realize that you find out what “you didn’t know you didn’t know” or the “Unconscious Incompetence” stage. This is what we sometimes call “I didn’t know what I didn’t know stage” so awareness is key to have a choice. When you’re not aware, you are stuck because you don’t see any other options or alternatives. It turned out that coaching can offer a way to expand the range of possibilities and help us make more conscious choices.

Although I enjoyed both Co-Active Fundamentals and ORSC Fundamentals, I was hooked on the Co-Active Model. The cornerstones, the contexts and the principles resonated with me. One of the cornerstones is “People are Naturally Creative Resourceful and Whole (NCRW)” and moving from telling or giving advice to asking and listening was something I wanted to practice. I was convinced that honoring this cornerstone was enough to break the vicious cycle I mentioned earlier of “tell me the answer” followed by “that won’t work for us/me”. And so I took the plunge.

Set an aspiration then a goal with a structure

What keeps me going is goals. ~Muhammad Ali

When I started my coaching journey, I didn’t have a specific goal in mind. I had more of an aspiration which was to become a better coach. I was coaching individuals and teams and I had been practicing several professional coaching skills.

I wanted to up my coaching game, expand my coaching range with professional coaching and hone in my skills. I enjoyed the journey of becoming better and more confident with every coaching class in the Co-Active series. It also gave me a structure for practicing and getting constructive feedback as I mentioned earlier.

After I completed the Co-Active series (one course at a time). I defined a goal of becoming a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) then an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) then a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). My aspiration is to become a Master Certified Coach (MCC). That’s quite a journey but that’s what this is about for me: the journey of becoming a better coach or becoming better.

Practice, practice, practice

We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.~John Dewey

I wanted to keep practicing and honing in my coaching skills so I went on to finish the Co-Active series. I continued to practice through the Co-Active certification process. I think having a structure helped me to be more intentional about practicing and improving. I also wanted to receive feedback or get observed by an Master Certified Coach (MCC) — usually someone who has 200+ hours of coaching training and 2500+ hours of coaching experience.

It also helped me to have a community of coaches to practice with and learn from each other. Reflecting on what I did well and what I could improve on has been key to my learning journey.

Although that was the path I took, there are many paths to practice. For instance, if you are not planning to apply for an ICF credential, you could find a coach to practice with or sign up for a cohort or coaching group to practice. Also, professional coaches in a certification program sometimes offer volunteer hours which could be a way to raise your level of awareness and practice as well.

The Coaching Conversation

I see coaching as a conversation that gives us something to think about (clarity) or take action on (action). Balancing clarity with action is not an easy task and a coaching conversation could spark clarity and action. After all, helping individuals or teams realize that they have a choice is a fulfilling journey. I enjoy being part of that journey!

I host The Coaching Conversation Podcast and I invite you to give it a listen on soundcloud (also available on Spotify and Apple podcasts).

I would love to connect with you on LinkedIn or Twitter or meet you for a quick coaching conversation. To have a coaching conversation, feel free to book a time with me.