Why protecting kid’s body image is a hard sell…
By: Emma Wright
Tags: Body Image, Health, Eating Disorders, Parenting Advice, Health At Every Size

Once upon a time, not so long ago, a whole bunch of scientists realised that smoking cigarettes was really, terribly bad for our health. And even more bad for the health of our youth.

The evidence was in. It was a total no-brainer not to smoke. Social marketing campaigns were given millions to deliver the facts. The assumption was that as soon as people knew what was true about smoking, they would instantly stop.

Not so.

Instead, it took years and years and years to (still only partly) extinguish.

Turns out, human behavior is not really influenced that much by facts. It is far more driven by status.

It took more than thirty years for doctors to consistently wash their hands before surgery, even though the evidence was clear that washing hands lead to greatly reduced fatality rates during surgery.

If the evidence was clear, and the doctors really were interested in saving lives, why on earth did it take so long for hand washing practice in surgery to become commonplace?

Probably for the same reason that cigarette smoking is so hard to stop in teenagers.

Cigarette smoking, thanks to an incredibly powerful marketing history, was (and arguably still is, in some circles) a high-status activity. So is being a surgeon. The very idea that it was the surgeon herself spreading the germs was a blow to her status. Would people still rever her and trust her if the news got out?

Teenagers, likewise, are deeply invested in ‘looking’ good, perhaps in the same way surgeons are. Indeed, the promise of being cool and ‘in’ is of far greater importance to teenagers than some far-off-in-the-future pain that may or may not be felt.

Doctors back in the day may have had a different type of need to look good — not so much about fitting in with their peers — but being respected and trusted and at the top of the social pecking order. But the mechanism of ignoring evidence and pressing on with the status quo is the same.

And before we feel all high and mighty and like we would be far more rational, it pays to remember that most of us aren’t. We are all social beings and status is important to all of us. I don’t mean that we all are driven by the same status. I don’t care much about driving a fancy car. But I do hold highly educated people in high esteem. I only refer my clients to HAES trained eating disorder therapists. That’s a status I regard highly.

The point here is not too bad mouth people who are driven by status (because, in fact, we all are) but to highlight the way humans work and if we are deeply invested in bringing what we know to be true (we have the evidence) to the world, banging on about facts alone is not going to cause much change.

So what to do instead? Our job is to raise the status of those who are in line with the evidence, not against it.

When smoking became expensive and a little shameful, the tide started to turn. People who didn’t want to be short on cash, or look like a dork (both based on status), started to give up. Not necessarily because of the ‘health’ impacts, or the evidence that it was bad, but because of the ‘social’ impacts.

If you’re reading this, you’re probably invested in kids growing up with better body image than they currently do. You’re probably aware of the HAES movement. You’ll know that living in a larger body comes with terrible social injustice. And perhaps most importantly, you’ll be all over the evidence.

You get that social stigma and fatphobia lead to terrible body shame and that our culture's obsession with dieting is responsible for deeply unethical protocols and practices being sold to our kids — mainly under the disguise of health.

It’s heartbreaking. And I’m with you.

And it’s not enough to keep reiterating the facts, even though we have to keep reiterating the facts.

We also need to create a new social status. We need to give people a chance to feel part of something bigger than themselves. We need to unite them around a common story about who they are with a plot that isn’t called; I have better facts than you. The plot needs to be driven by emotion.

Do you know the “I have a dream” speech? Not many facts got shared, but everyone felt something. Everyone was moved to reconsider the way they live.

You can do this too. You can become a storyteller. You can start to connect with people's hearts, not just their minds. Every time you feel the need to present a fact, look for a great story as well.

My dream is that every child on the planet gets to grow up knowing their body is the least interesting thing about them. That they will believe the content of their minds and the spirit of their heart define them as human beings far more readily than the size of the jeans or the content of their lunch.

Emma Wright is a Family Body Confidence Consultant. You can find out more about her here.