fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
No meal is dependent on any other meal
By: Rob Arthur
Tags: Intuitive Eating, Selfcompassion, Body Image, Self Love, Self-awareness

Food is one area where so many of us beat ourselves up.

We know it’s an important factor in looking and feeling awesome.

So we work on our eating habits.

We make the change.

But change is hard.

And we deviate.

We end up eating things that we later regret.

We take dietary detours.

Eating, perhaps, for pleasure, rather than health.

For some of us, this is no biggie.

We deviate, then get right back to pursuing our goals.

For others of us, deviations are a major problem.

We feel like we’ve ruined our progress.

Like all the effort we’ve put in previously was for nothing.

We feel the same way about the future.

We screwed up this meal, so the whole week is blown.

Might as well just not even try.

This “all or nothing” perfectionist mindset keeps us stuck.

We’ve set an impossible standard for ourselves.

When we face impossible standards, we’re discouraged.

The reality is that perfection is impossible.

Another reality is that every single meal stands on its own.

Serves its own purpose.

No meal is dependent on any other meal.

No meal ruins any that came before.

No meal ruins any that follow.

Some will align with your health and fitness goals.

Others won’t.

It’s what you do consistently that matters.

Not perfectly.

Consistently.

One meal at a time.

Focus on the meal in front of you.

Not the one before.

Not the one after.

Just the one in front of you.

That’s the only meal you can ever control.

Make it count.

Whatever you determine that means.

Whatever purpose you want that meal to serve.

Independent of anything else you’ve ever eaten.

Make this meal count.

For no reason other than that you are awesome.

And you are worth it.

At this moment.

You’re worth it.

You’ve got this.
I Was a Body Shamer — How I Changed My Mind About Body Positivity for Weight Loss
By: Jessica Wilde About Wellbeing
Tags: Body Positive, Manifestation, Weight Loss, Body Image, Self Love

My Body Positivity Judgement

I am part of a coaching programme, and one of the coaches was talking about how she loved her body regardless of her size. It was that comment that made me question whether this could be coming into play for me.

It was time to get deep and personal: what if the cause was psychological?

Now it’s not that I haven’t been exposed to the whole body positivity movement before. In fact, I will admit I have been incredibly judgmental about it. I misread the movement entirely, mostly because I was so unwilling to accept my own body.

I believed that body positivity, loving your body at any size, meant that you were promoting obese or anorexic body types. I saw the photographs of women celebrating their bodies as being potentially dangerous in prolonging the obesity crisis.

I couldn’t see they were celebrating their bodies — I could only view it as celebrating obesity.

I saw them as celebrating the means by which they had reached that size of body.

Then it dawned on me that being positive about their body did not mean being positive about their weight. We are so much more than our weight. Those women celebrating their bodies in body positivity forums are showing acceptance and love for the skin they’re in right now.

The truth is that when we look at someone, when we get to know someone, we should be able to see past the weight that they are. Physical beauty exists, regardless of someone’s size. Take my thigh tattoo, for example, it’s gorgeous whether I’m bigger or smaller — it simply stretches with my skin. Physical beauty may be made bigger by a higher number on the scale, but it still exists.

I appreciate my tattoo’s beauty as a piece of art, whether I am overweight or normal weight. It simply moves with the weight flow of body.

Of course, we’re all far more than just physical beauty, no matter how much it stays whatever size we are. We all have internal beauty — and that’s not changed at all by our weight. We are more than the number of the scale.
Heavy Weight
By: Background Noise Comics
Tags: Body Positive, Humor, Health, Comics, Body Image

Losing weight is hard. It also can be an emotional rollercoaster.

Affirmation for the day: I am more than what I weigh.
A Letter to My Body
By: Never Sugarcoated
Tags: Self, Women, Eating Disorders, Body Image, Mental Health

But I was wrong. I’ve learned a lot over the past few years, and even though I don’t deserve a second more of your time, I want you to know that I am committed to changing. I need you to know that I know exactly how deeply and entirely wrong I was about you.

First of all, you are innocent — you have always been innocent. Let that sink in. You showed up in every single way you were supposed to. You just wanted to be cared for, and at the minimum, not abused. You are not responsible for my neglect. You didn’t ask for it.

Secondly, I severely misjudged you. I waited for people to tell me if and when you would be acceptable. But in a global economy of tight-bodied wellness influencers and a $72 billion diet industry, you were never going to be acceptable. I needed professional advice to shed light on my years of indoctrination.

Through therapy, I learned that your size was never indicative of your worth. I argued that fatness was a death sentence — an unforgivable crime against humanity. But even my doctors disagreed. They told me that despite popular belief, your health was not determined by your size; that the damage I inflicted on you was far worse than letting you exist as a plus-size body.

My nutritionist taught me that the best way to care for you was not through restriction or obsessive exercise but through intuitive eating and enjoyable movement. I learned that I had been doing it all wrong, unnecessarily subjecting you to abuse under the guise of “wellness.” But there is nothing “well” about militant deprivation and control.

By far, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that you intuitively know what you need. You’ve always known. I just never listened. I couldn’t hear you over the public declaration of your inferiority. I drowned out your pain with the compliments of people who had no stake in your survival.

I judged you mercilessly, denied your nourishment, and still expected you to serve my every need. I was sick, and you paid the price.
The when I then I attitude I was your lanky gal who stood at 5’8 extremely thin.
By: Being Materialized
Tags: Weight Loss, Body Image, Mental Health

The when I then I attitude

I was your lanky gal who stood at 5’8 extremely thin. Then happened trauma negative cycles and I gained about 13 kgs more than my go to 65 kg weight and then I fell into the syndrome once I lose the extra weight i will buy the nice lingerie and dress well and put on the fancy makeup and do my hair real well.

Till then till then why should I be confident and treat myself well let’s just dress mindlessly. Why should I strive to be the best version of me. When I get there will I only deserve love. Will I feel worthy and of boys attention. When I get the marks and when I get into the college but turns out it was never my thinking. It was something I learned from my parents. So I acknowledge this person now 20 kgs heavier bigger boobs and round stomach.

I put on the best lingerie,sweats and gloss and love her and will do while I strive to achieve all but before that I celebrate her now in this avtar because she deserves love in everyway.
Your Body is Not “Flawed”
By: James Grigg
Tags: Body Positive, Individuality, Body Image, Poetry, Body Positivity

A poem on body image, body positivity, and the unique beauty of every individual.

Your body is not “flawed”,

There’s nothing wrong with you,

There might be a mark upon your skin,

But that’s what makes you you.

There’s no such thing as perfect,

That idea is just made up,

No human fits a neat template,

We’re all just parts, all jumbled up.

Every body is special,

Each one of us is unique,

Several billion different variants,

Not one of us a freak.

And yes you’re going to age,

Your body will always change,

Textures, shapes, and colours adjust,

To grow is not a sign you’re strange.

It doesn’t matter what shape your nose,

They come in many forms,

Or ears, or eyes, or mouth, or chin,

We all define our unique norms.

How can you be out of proportion?

When there’s no standard shape?

Each body part grows a million different ways,

All that matters is, that yours is great!

So what if you’re uneven,

It’s unusual if you are not,

Very few have perfect symmetry,

We’ve got just what we’ve got.

Don’t worry about your stretch marks,

There not exactly rare,

They can be huge, they can but subtle,

All they do is add some flare.

Your skin can not be “perfect”,

Because no such thing exists,

There’s always dark and light bits,

Scars, patches, marks that will persist.

Who cares if you are hairy?

We’re mammals, that’s the deal!

Hairs can spring up anywhere,

Accept it, that’s just real.

Your skin tone does not matter,

Other than to celebrate,

Dark or pale or any in between,

None should be a source of hate.

Whether you’re tall or short,

Whether you’re fat or thin,

Each one of us is our own shape,

There’s room for us to all fit in.

Some body part may be missing,

Something might not work,

But you can still live the best of lives,

And navigate your unique quirks.

So learn to love your body,

It’s a record of your life,

Every moment shapes you,

Being you should cause no strife.
Fatphobia in Hollywood
By: Alyssa Guerrero
Tags: Body Image, Hollywood, Representation

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weight issues
By: The Anon
Tags: Body Image, Teenagers, Weight, Teens

as i’ve mentioned in my first blog I AM FAT. like badly but ive working on it. staying in a calorie deficit and exercising everyday. but why is losing weight SO HARD. i feel guilty for enjoying the little things and eating what i want to eat. its just hard when society is already against simply for something that doesnt concern them. ive always had trouble with my weight from a young age. i dont really know why i kinda just grew up on the chonky side. dont get me wrong i am GORGEOUS. my face and up is so pretty in my opinion and i love it. but the neck down is something im trying to work on. it is so hard though. ive been pushing myself everyday but sometimes i just wanna lay down and not do anything for the whole day. WHY MUST FOOD BE SO DELICIOUS. i am the fattest person i know. which is so hard to deal with because even though my friends and family love me. i know that them imagining themselves as me an overweight person TERRIFIES them. it sucks. BLEH ANYWAYS I HATE SOCIETY. also im super stressed about school because finals is in like 2 weeks and I KNOW JUST ABOUT NOTHING. i think i can vouch for the teens when i say we have learned nothing this year. BLEH OK BYE I HAVE HOMEWORK!

signing off,

anon
Mermaid Problems
By: Stern Frump
Tags: Size, Fashion, Clothing, Body Image, Mental Health

[Originally published July 19, 2019]

These are my clothes, bold and bright,

On a body that takes up too much space and air,

But still scraps for its share of light.

This is not my worst flaw by far

(Indeed, I reside far too often,

Of my own design,

In shadow);

But to whom it may concern,

Thank you for taking a chance on me anyway,

Even if I may yet disappoint you.

(I will disappointment myself more by ten-fold.)

When I am here, and whole,

I solemnly swear to give you everything I have,

If you can lend a neighborly cup of patience every so often,

In between the times I can and can’t even.

My generosity is bound but by ability and circumstance,

And a quick tug on my bootstraps;

I hope we can come to a

Mutually beneficial

Arrangement.

Thank you for the second chances,

Grace periods,

Doubtful benefits,

Strategic blind eyes;

Thank you for being gentle with

My sensitive soul,

Stuck between stations in

Fleshy, mouthy, moody flesh,

Stamped ‘fragile, handle with care.’

I contain multitudes.

If you are privy to more than one of me,

Please cordially consider yourself to be

Amongst the most delightful of company.

Alas, even the rare gem has a bad side,

An unflattering angle,

A flawed facet.

My market value fluctuates daily,

And my life lesson acquisition with it;

Desire, thy name is regret.

Like naughty Pandora, I cannot put away,

Take back,

Undo what has been done; but lo,

There is yet Hope, and so with any luck,

Most of my modern multitudes come glazed

With the compassion,

Heartbreak,

Wisdom,

And well-meaning well-doing

That only comes from being

Knocked down,

Shut out,

Kicked around,

And then, at last, regurgitated,

Replanted,

Reborn from soil rich with

A life lived; and for those facets

Whose dulled demeanor is

Beyond redemption, salvaging, or even apology,

I am still sincerely sorry;

Signed, The Management.

If I am allowed to love,

Honor,

Cherish myself;

If I am allowed to toot my own proverbial horn,

If it’s not too much of a cliche,

Too much hubris (and not enough humility),

Too obvious a fatal flaw;

I will say that I believe in myself,

That I trust I am forging a path

Onto which I can be satisfied being guided

By infinity’s steady, knowing hand on my shoulder.

I trust that I can trust

With the entirety of myself

As I make my way down the road

Less traveled on,

However ill-equipped,

Poorly dressed,

Or generally distressed I yet am,

With Hope that I make a difference.

P.S.: I am truly sorry that you hate my pants.
I will never say this to my daughter
By: Amara Writes
Tags: Self Improvement, Weight Loss, Body Image, Self Love, Confidence

As a 20 year old girl, being about 20kgs over my ideal weight is a burden. I look at the mirror and find myself large. My arms are too big. My back has rolls. My stomach is always bloated. My thighs are squished together.

I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror. And this is awful!

I have been struggling with weight loss ever since I can remember. But I’ve always been a few kgs over my ideal weight and I didn’t pass as “fat”. But my parents and family thought otherwise. They point out the parts where I am fat and buy me clothes that hide those parts. I am constantly criticised by my family. My grandparents would say things like “Did you put on a little bit of weight?” or “Don’t wear tight pants because they make you thighs look fatter!” or “you’re eating too much!” And so I’ve grown to be so self-conscious and aware of my imperfections that I can’t look at myself in the mirror.

And I never really knew just how much their remarks affected me until recently, when I found myself avoiding going out with friends, and feeling so ugly. I have a distorted image of my body. I focus so much on those “fat” parts that I can’t see anything else.

And I thought to myself, I will never, ever, make my daughter feel ugly. When she comes to me, feeling a bit unconfident and searching for approval, I will give it to her and make her feel so amazing about herself. Even if she was overweight. I want my daughter to love herself so much that she never doubts herself. I want her to know that her worth does not lie in the shape of her body. Because even though in the back of my mind, I do know that now, I am still struggling with my self-image so bad.
A Homemade Dress and a Swing Set
By: Michelle Loucadoux
Tags: Relationships, Memories, Women, Body Image, Self Love

A Homemade Dress and a Swing Set

Photo by Tong Nguyen van on Unsplash

There’s a time in a little girl’s life when she can revel in the joy of her own beauty. There’s a time when she can delight in the perfection of the creation that is herself, a time when she can spin and giggle without a shred of self-consciousness. And then, with a silent whisper of another child, it can be whisked away forever.

It was Easter Day in 1984 and I was on top of the world. My mom had been working diligently for days at her sewing machine creating what would be my “Easter Dress.” It was green and white gingham with white lace ruffles and when I placed it over my head, I turned to the mirror and inhaled. I was a pretty princess. I twirled as my mom clapped and grinned.

Then, mommy carefully took out my pin curls. I giggled as the blonde ringlets bounced from my mother’s hands. I was sure that, at that moment, I was the best possible version of me. I ran outside to my swing set, hopped on my seat, started swinging, and watched as the wind blew through my ruffles and ringlets so that they glistened in the morning sun. I was beautiful.

I remember the feeling of being something beautiful surrounded by a world inhabited by other beautiful things. I remember the unbridled joy of the newness of spring, the scent and crinkle of fresh fabric, and the creak of the chains of the swing set as I swung higher and higher toward the sun, acknowledging my distant but familiar radiant relative.
I feel like too many people in these replies made your post about themselves.
By: Ada J. Raven
Tags: Body Positive, Motherhood, Feminism, Loving Yourself, Body Image

I feel like too many people in these replies made your post about themselves. I’m heavier than you and did not take this personally at all, but I relate as someone who’s 20 lbs heavier than they were less than 10 years ago.

The ways our bodies change as we age and experience life often disturbs us. It doesn’t matter that we know they’ll happen; it still sucks when they do. Your first wrinkle, first grey hair, first time you notice stretch marks, first 5 lbs that turns into 10 and so on… all “firsts” few of us look forward to.

You are not alone and your feelings are valid.

But congratulations on the baby! That’s incredible. I don’t have any of my own yet, but I’m looking forward to having them… even if I’m not looking forward to all the hormonal/physical changes 😝. Hang in there, Mama, and give that little one a huge kiss from all of us, please ♥️.
the hardships of a 16 year old teen
By: The Anon
Tags: Teens, Blog, Teenagers, Teens And Social Media, Body Image

BLEHHH ok hi i decided to make a blog so i can

rant about life without the pressuring to everyone knowing who i am to talk about embarrassing things minor life inconveniences

OK SO now that you know why i created my blog here are things to know about me! I am a girl and i live in california. i am fat. my blog is more towards a teen audience who can hopefully relate to my problems. i don’t use correct punctuation and grammar so sorry! also my spelling/ grammar issues can be horrendous. i am SUPER dramatic sometimes. i am a hopeless romantic. i also have immigrant parents. i’m also just a normal teenager who enjoys watching tiktoks and reading wattpad. with this whole pandemic thing going on i thought it would be fun to create a blog. also i hate tr*mp. i support LGBTQ+, ACAB, BLM, basically i support human rights, and if you don’t then kindly leave! ok so as a fat teenager I’VE HAD IT HARD. i have basically been bullied for most of my life. from the fake flirting and dares to ask me out to full blown body shamed and getting told to kill myself. its been rough, but i am working on it. let me tell you guys… teens HAVE NO REMORSE!!!! it took awhile to learn to love myself and although its worked a bit it’s still hard. ESP with Sienna being the face of body positivity. HEAR ME OUT, i love her and her tiktoks BUT!!!!!!!!!! that girl is not fat. that girl is curvy she is the body that is trending right now. small waist curvy thighs. she is amazing and i love her but she is not fat. she will not understand the struggles that fat people face. also can i just say EVERYONE IS FATPHOBIC. yes we aren’t open about it but we all are. i hear almost everyone say “omg i am getting so fat”. that may not sound fatphobic but it is. LET ME EXPLAIN!!!!! saying those types of stuff is basically saying omg i can’t be fat because fat = bad. fat = bad = fatphobic. yes it is not as bad as others but it is still fatphobic. i struggle with eating but ive been working on it. i exercise everyday and count my calories. also i just wanna say im trying to lose weight for myself and not anyone else im already pretty but this is just helping me build my confidence. that sounds super conceited but im not going to say im ugly when i dont think i am. ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE JAY ALVEREZ S*X TAPE!!!!! geez that coconut oil. could not have been good for her pussy. i dont really know what else to say right now i kinda hope my blog blows up so that i can actually start knowing people are reading this besides myself. also i named myself the anon because i dont plan on revealing who i am EVER. ok that is all for now my little loves until we meet again!
Tara, it’s so heartening to hear that you’ve NOTICED you’re getting bigger.
By: Karen Cherry
Tags: Identity, Beauty, Self, Body, Body Image

Tara, it’s so heartening to hear that you’ve NOTICED you’re getting bigger.

So many people just sleepwalk their way to being overweight. It’s awful watching people you love getting bigger and bigger without seeming to notice or care.

In July I woke up to the fact that I had put on weight. I had been sleepwalking my way to getting fat. I didn’t like it so I signed up to Noom, a weight-loss and health coaching app to help me lose my new tummy.

You know what sucked? My female colleagues were horrible, when I told them I was being careful about what I ate. They weren’t just unsupportive, they were genuinely pissed off. Like, really ANGRY that I wanted to stay slim.

It was as if I was insulting them by refusing to accept that getting older = getting fatter.

Good on you, Tara, for choosing to want health and energy and confidence for yourself. Well done for wanting to set a good example for your kids by looking after your body. Great work for acknowledging that a BMI of 29 is not healthy (even if it’s common).

Noom worked for me and I feel great again. You can read about my Noom journey here. Good luck with your journey.
This article is a yikes.
By: Pua Nani
Tags: Body Image, Body Positive, Relationships

This article is a yikes. I get that you’re feeling bad about yourself and you wanted to express that. But unfortunately you are simply perpetuating outdated stereotypes about women and weight, not adding anything of use to the discourse.

I can promise you that most men don’t give a fuck about 20 extra pounds when it comes to sex. In fact many of them might even find you more attractive with a little extra weight on and a curvier figure. I know this this cause I’m a little shorter than you, and probably a little heavier than you, and the guys in my area treat me like the hottest thing since sliced bread. Your man likely didn’t initiate sex because he’s tired from caring for a new baby and you were giving off unsexy self-hating vibes.

Please, give yourself some time to heal postpartum and stop being so hard on yourself.
it was the tuesday before thanksgiving
By: Claudia Bouchrit
Tags: Motherhood, Postpartum, Body Image, Self Care, Mental Health

I went to Target with my newborn son, Sam, and my mom tonight. I was shopping for a Thanksgiving outfit to wear in a couple of days. It has been extremely important to me that I take care of myself. My body and soul have been through a lot this year. The time I spend lathering in face moisturizer, drinking tea, wearing comfortable yet flattering clothes, and buying new makeup are ways that I hug myself.

Anyway, I was at Target. I’ve grown more comfortable being in public postpartum. Yet, there is always something a little emotional that happens. Tonight, it was my body image and my babe’s cries from across the store. I will be four weeks postpartum on Thursday, and when I walked in to this store tonight, my hands first grabbed the mediums, size 4, and size 6. You could probably guess that I looked like a pig in a blanket that was too large for her blanket.

It wasn’t the size that bothered me. I didn’t realize what size I needed. I was truly ok with reaching for the large and extra large. The emotional part was being naked. I hadn’t been totally bare in front of a full length mirror since giving birth to Sam. I saw my body in that mirror tonight, but it felt so different to see myself. Beauty has become symbolic and internal now.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw the stomach that had a baby in it four weeks prior and the stretch marks on my hips. I saw my thighs stick to each other and I noticed the bags under my eyes.

My perspective of myself has changed. I have scars, that I refer to as my beauty marks, from the most empowering, transformative, remarkable time of my life. I would never ask to take any of it away.

The stretch marks and bags under my eyes come with love, life, and experience. Beauty isn’t who I was — size 2 or 4, small or medium. Beauty is who I’m becoming: a new mother with unconditional love and a sprinkle of relentlessness.
I never meant to fall into the category of promoting body positivity, yet here I am.
By: Michelle Lee-Ann
Tags: Body Positive, Healthy Lifestyle, Women, Womens Health, Body Image

I never meant to fall into the category of promoting body positivity, yet here I am. Quiet for too long, I’ve begun to speak out. Why? Because I’m tired of how I feel about my body. Tired of how other women feel about their bodies. Tired of seeing the same old bullshit day in and day out on loving, or not loving, your body. Of the shame. Of not feeling good enough. Of the hate. Of all of it. In world in which we are turning inwards with nowhere to go, it’s time to turn those negative feelings towards ourselves into ones we would proud to tell our daughter, our nieces, our friends.
Destructive Thoughts That I, and Most Women, Have Throughout the Day
By: Michelle Lee-Ann
Tags: Body Positive, Women, Love Yourself, Body Image, Self Love

Destructive Thoughts That I, and Most Women, Have Throughout the Day

Photo by Jennifer Burk on Unsplash

I hate my body.

I hate my body.

I hate my body.

Why am I so fat?

I’m eating healthy and exercising, why haven’t I lost tons of weight yet?

Does my husband still find my attractive?

Why don’t I look like I did in university?

I hate my body.

My hair looks like garbage.

This shirt makes me look mannish.

Fuck, I’m a fat piece of garbage.

Ew, my skin looks disgusting and puffy today.

Can I fit into that dress I love?

I don’t look like that ‘fat’ woman. I’m way bigger than she is. Does that mean I’m super fat?

Do people still think I look okay?

Do they even find me attractive?

Am I attractive?

Does it matter?

I love myself. I’m amazing!

Hell yah, feeling good.

Ugh, my fat rolls are out in full force.

All I’ll be able to wear from now until the end of time is sweatpants.

I hate my body.

I hate my body.

I hate my body.
I am sick of how fake everything on Instagram is.
Tags: Plastic Surgery, Body Positive, Body, Body Image, Makeup

My sister introduced me to snapchat. I started using it. Wow, the photos were good. I looked slim, also my face looked flawless. Each filter made me look amazing.

Each day I would take a photo and post it on Instagram, I got a lot of good comments, It was amazing. I liked it a lot. Every two to three hours I would get notifications and it was making me feel special.

After a few months of doing this my mom came to visit me. She gave me a reality check. She was amazed that my face looked so slim in the photos and so flawless.

She was genuinely concerned that this would hinder my mental health.

I argued with her, How will posting an enhanced photo hurt me. She very calmly explained that as a mother, She was very gentle with the way she told me how different I looked. However, others would have not do that. Rather would make fun of me behind my back and most probably would be a topic of gossip for some months atleast.

She encouraged me to be true to myself.

Not use these gimmicks to make me happy. She asked me one question that made me change my perspective of beauty in life.

“ After all these filters, when you look in the mirror, What if you genuinely hate what you see. Is that something you can live with the rest of your life?”

I then saw what she was trying to say. I should not hate what I see in the mirror. See, I would still like to enhance my appearance but by makeup ,facial massage, good skincare. Yes!! But I will not use shortcuts to get that instant high.

Makeup artist highlights what Facetune really can do. Posted by savannah098

The thought still haunted me. How is everyone able to take good photos? How do these people not have bad skin ever? What kind of makeup skills do they have to get this level of perfection?
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Tags: Fat Burning Foods, Fitness, Weight Loss, Body Image, Sexism

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Where Does ‘Fat’ Begin? An Investigation
By: Jay Pendragon
Tags: Beauty, Fat Activism, Allyship, Case Study, Body Image

An initial search leads me to a refreshing article on Jezebel.com, showcasing olympians who aren’t ‘jacked’ and the difficulties they face due to identifying — or being identified — as fat.

Which reminds me of something my sister said when I brought up the question to her: that it’s subjective, both on an individual level and a societal level.

So when is someone ‘socially fat’?

Well… “when a group of people decides that they think that the person is fat. That’s the only possible answer because it’s a subjective and essentially unquantifiable term.”

While I object to calling it “the only possible answer”, Quora user Melissa Hendrick makes a valid point in her reply. There is no “one size fits all” solution to the question, pun definitely intended.

Alright, then: How does society determine who counts as fat and who doesn’t?

Image by Gerd Altmann on Pixabay.

First of all, in case you’re wondering why I don’t even mention BMI in my research, it’s because BMI was never intended to measure health and we should all just forget it as a criterion when talking about weight.

Anyway, back to hints we can actually use.

What about clothing sizes?

Well, sizes for whom? “Plus size” models can be wearing size 8 clothing while the extended sizes in shops tend to start at size 12 or 14. And the same person can wear three different sizes on the same day — believe me, I’ve experienced this! Even in the same shop, trying on different jeans from the SAME BRAND, the same size fits me in one cut, but not in the other.

Alright, sizes won’t get us closer to an answer either. Maybe we need more specific parameters?

I find an attempt at listing those over at Healthline who offer “5 Ways To Tell If You Are Overweight”. They suggest that your weight might be too high if…

your waist circumference exceeds a certain number,

you snore during the night,

you experience frequent heartburn,

suffer with achy joints,

or frequently feel fatigued.

And while Healthline does highlight how useless BMI is to tell if one is overweight, all these criteria approach the issue from a health perspective, not a social one.

Same with the Healthline diagnosis of “skinny fat”, i.e. when people look thin but are actually “unhealthy”, never mind that body size does NOT tell you anything about a person’s habits or how healthy they are. Or that people don’t owe you health.

Increasingly frustrated, I click on a link to an online test. Over 30 questions intend to determine if I’m fat, chubby or skinny.

This quiz proved quite interesting. While it relied heavily on the “fit equals thin” paradigm, it also uses the existence of skin folds, rolls and how much my stomach extends over my waistband to determine my body type.

It’s krass how deeply rooted my own fatphobic and disordered thinking is in my brain, because when the results page announced me to be “average”, I breathed a sigh of relief.

And no, I will not link to this quiz because I won’t enable anyone’s disordered relationship with their body. This quiz was triggering enough for me as it is.
Stuck Between Sampson and Red Sonja
By: Eileen Cowen
Tags: Identity, Aging, Women, Middle Age, Body Image

Stuck Between Sampson and Red Sonja

“Red Sonja” portrayed by the decidedly un-ginger but incredible Brigitte Nielsen

On the day I was born, my father left for a 9 month tour on a Navy ship. Imagine, watching your child being born at 5:30 am and reporting to duty at 8am, leaving behind a newly postpartum wife and four children (the eldest being just 8 years old.) My dad often tells the story of coming back into port, looking for his family, and seeing my gleaming ginger hair through the array of excited Navy families. Redheads are a truly recognizable bunch.

Throughout my life, I have always been The Red Head. In school, I was teased as the girl with the red hair. In my time in the Army, I was the soldier with the ginger locks. In my married life, my husband and I are quite recognizable — he has a long beard, I am The Red Head. I’m staring down my mid 40s, and still holding on to an identity as a redhead, knowing that the days are numbered.

My friend Sarah is blonde. Blonde, as in the type of tow-headed child who never turned brunette. It is rare! Grown women with blonde hair often reach that point through years of stylist and colorist appointments. Sarah is a true blonde. As we are aging, her hair ages with her and is turning grey and silver. My hair is aging as well, sprouting shockingly white strands and whispers of what will eventually be the end of my red hair. More interesting though is the trajectory my hair has been on for the last decade or so.

My hair is fading.

What was once a shining beacon in a port is now fading to a ginger-tinted sandy brunette. During the summer, blonde streaks scour stripes through my ruddy locks. My hair looks foreign to my own eyes… like it is someone else’s tresses on my head. And, Instagram filters? I know which ones make my hair shine like it used to. I apply them liberally. Soon, maybe in the next ten years, my hair will have faded altogether to a pale slivery yellow. As a life-long redhead, part of my identity fades with each strand.

All of this sounds incredibly superficial, I know. Is being a ginger REALLY part of my life identity? Me: modern feminist, sister of the 90s Riot Grrrls, mom and denier of bullshit, what the hell am I even doing by placing value on my natural hair color? Trite. Shallow. Would it kill me to focus on something more important?
#StrategySunday — December 27, 2020
By: David Andrew Wiebe
Tags: Planning, Creativity, Productivity, Strategy, Business

#StrategySunday — December 27, 2020

Photo by NORTHFOLK on Unsplash

I know for many it’s been an un-Christmas Christmas. Even so, I hope you’re doing well.

I think I managed to strike a bit of balance between work and play this week, and there was even a bit of spontaneity. Now that’s something!

This week will be another big one, but if I follow my plan (this is often the most challenging part), I think everything will come together nicely.

Here’s an overview of this week’s #StrategySunday.
Mental trick for writing better stories
By: Muad Arshad
Tags: Planning, Writing Tips, Editing, Writing, Structured Content

Pre-planning does not always work

The moment you hit yourself off writer’s-block, you rush yourself soon to sketch a random breakdown of topics, do some research and start writing.

What if I say, this practice is not healthy as it may sound?

Photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash

I have read articles about how one can make the most out of everything you need to write down in a matter of 15 minutes and write — but boy you could be wrong!

When could things go ‘not-right’?

The Reason that causes the most trouble is due to the fact, the structure for the story you initially had in your mind, could be probably a day or two old.

Isn’t it just a day or two though?

Despite what domain you would build a story on, you either try to relate the story as close as possible to you, or add a considerable amount of statistics to make the arguments you bring up in the story look solid.

But, as you write, the tendency for you to change sub-headings and related content is visible, and if you still stick to the pre-planned structure of the article, I assume you are not doing something right.

The story you write should be brought to life in the most expressible way, not in ways how you can just present it.

Why is sticking to a structure not a good practice?

But do you not think a lot could change during the days? A considerable amount of statistics and facts could be changed if it is a research-based story, else, if the work completed is on an instinct-based approach, believe me, the story gets refined better with the changes you do to the structure as you edit.

The more relevant you make the story to the current context of things around, the better the story could be made relevant, hence, more traction the story would make.

Does it mean the initial research you carry out writing the story needs minimal or no effort? Absolutely not. The amount of work you put in before writing an article always does reflect the quality of the article, but keeping it just as open for changes does equally better.

Key takeaway

Before start writing down your story,
A Time For New Beginnings…
Tags: Year End Lists, Planning, Bucketlist, 100 Days Writing, Year In Review

Day 39/100

Year end…comes every year, isn’t it? That time when we take stock of things done and things left to do. Challenges completed, challenges to begin. We set goals and make plans. Life is so mechanical, isn’t it? We do the same things year after year. But why? Why is it so important to take these decisions at the beginning of a year? Any day is a good day to begin, isn’t it? Many believe that the starting of a year/month is a good time for beginnings, though any day is a good for that matter. But somehow, we earmark days in a year when we do certain things, celebrate people in our lives. It’s easier to remember, though it shouldn’t be strictly left to one day, only to be forgotten for the rest of the year.

So what are your goals and bucket lists for 2021? I’m sure many of us couldn’t finish planned action items in 2020…we need to push them to 2021. Some actions were finished but in a new way, suiting the 'new normal’, so more of these should continue. And then there are those ideas that the 'new normal' has given birth to-- those definitely need to be implemented. I have some goals set already…what about you?
Simple Weekly Google Sheets Planner 2021 (Free Template)
By: Gracia Kleijnen
Tags: Planning, Spreadsheets, Organization, Template, Google Sheets

Simple Weekly Google Sheets Planner 2021 (Free Template)

Use this template to write out your yearly goals, spread them out over the months, and break them down into smaller tasks. Gracia Kleijnen Follow Dec 25, 2020 · 3 min read

Plan your weeks with this template.

This layout is inspired by the layout seen in Timestripe, a horizontal calendar that helps you plan the rest of your life via goal setting for the upcoming years, months and days. I found it in the Product Hunt daily newsletter and I can only recommend you sign up for this too if you enjoy discovering the latest, innovative products crafted by indie makers, startups and the like. I’m still testing out this app before I decide to fully start relying on it and integrate it into my Google Calendar (they have a feature for this). A review will follow.

Back to simple Google Sheets templates for now.

Make sure you are logged into your Google account. Please do not request edit access. Any requests for edit access will be ignored and deleted. Simply click the link to make a copy of the Weekly Planner 2021 Google Sheets template.

We have four tabs.

“Monthly & yearly goals” tab

Here you write out your goals by month and year. Start with the bigger goals you want to have accomplished by the end of the year. Then spread them out into smaller, more manageable parts that can be completed within or throughout the months.

Monthly & yearly goals tab. Start with the big goals. Then spread these big goals out over the months.

“Status tab” tab

Inside the box, jot down which statuses you’d like to appear in the dropdowns on the next tab.

Write however many statuses you’d like to choose from in the “Status” tab. These options will appear in the dropdowns in the “Week Planner” tab.

“Week Planner” tab

Where the magic happens. There’s an empty template for each week of the year if you scroll all the way down. Plan your tasks out over the week. Choose a status from the dropdowns. In my case I would mess around in Google Sheets templates such as this one here to get an overview of what I actually need to get done, and then copy each item into my Google Calendar, so that I don’t accidentally miss or forget about it. The calendar eventually is the law to me.

The “Week Planner” tab with the status options showing in the dropdown you wrote in the “Status” tab.

“Week template” tab

In case you want to put each week on an individual tab. Then, you make a copy of this tab.

An empty weekly template.

Click on the downward facing triangle > then click “Duplicate”. Click the triangle of the copied tab > click “Rename”. Write here the name of the calendar week, e.g. “CW 2”. Repeat these steps for each new week.
How to plan the holidays as a programmer?
By: Morez Pt
Tags: Planning, Productivity, Programming, Programmer, Software Development

Holidays are the most desirable time to rest and have fun, but they are an excellent opportunity to improve our skills and complete the tasks we’ve never had the time to do.

Personally, There are number of books I needed to read, some courses I wanted to finish and some half-done personal projects I had to complete which I never did :)

So I decided to plan my holidays to accomplish the goals I set for myself. These things are:

Reading Books

If you prefer reading books, this is the most suitable time to read fascinating books about programming or technology. I picked the books that are fun to read. However, they require some effort to go through.

My books for these holidays are:

a) Life 3.0

“In this authoritative and eye-opening book, Max Tegmark describes and illuminates the recent, path-breaking advances in Artificial Intelligence and how it is poised to overtake human intelligence. How will AI affect crime, war, justice, jobs, society and our very sense of being human? The rise of AI has the potential to transform our future more than any other technology — and there’s nobody better qualified or situated to explore that future than Max Tegmark, an MIT professor who’s helped mainstream research on how to keep AI beneficial.”

b) Mathematics for Machine Learning

As you can imagine, I’m interested in Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. I found this book to understand the mathematical concepts behind the Machine Learning algorithms. I personally really like mathematics, and this is going to be an exciting book.

c) Grokking Algorithms: An illustrated guide for programmers and other curious people

Another compelling book I’ve heard about which talks about programmers favourite topic (Algorithms :) ). I felt like my understanding of the algorithms needed to improve. This book can help me to do so

2. Watching online courses

Online courses are my favourite way to learn new things. There are many amazing online courses which you can find on websites such as Udemy, LinkedIn Learning or YouTube.

You can start something you’ve always desired to know more about or to learn from scratch. Pick the ones you fancy and start watching them every day.

3. Side Projects

The only thing we can agree that programmers have in common is unfinished side projects. You might have lost your interest in the project, or you’ve never found the time to complete it.

Why not give it another try now?

What stuffs do you advise others to do throughout the holidays?

Happy holidays :)
On Planning
By: John Gonzalez
Tags: Planning, Thinking Ahead, Procrastination, On Planning, Last Minute

The great things in life take time, so plan. Sad is the shopper at Target looking for a Valentine’s Day card on February 14. Disappointing is the car in the Best Buy parking lot on December 24. Waiting until the last minute to make the best decision is just waiting until the last minute. No one wants that. People deserve more, including you.
Welcome to Celestial Citizen
By: Britt Duffy Adkins
Tags: Society, Future, Planning, Space Exploration, Space

By: Britt Duffy Adkins, Founder & Space Urban Planner

I’m opening the virtual doors to something that has held my mind captive for longer than I care to admit. It’s finally time for this conversation to reach a life of its own, bring more people to the table, and hope that this future vision that shapes my entire world view might also galvanize an audience of spirited star-gazers to demand better for Earth and beyond. The dark void of space beckons to be filled with thoughts and dreams not of one person, or even a few, but with the enchanting cacophony of the collective Earth experience.

The dark void of space beckons to be filled with thoughts and dreams not of one person, or even a few, but with the enchanting cacophony of the collective Earth experience.

The time is now.

If 2020 has shown us anything, it’s that we can no longer wait — as uncomfortable as that may be — we are living in a time of urgency. Let us not delay to tackle the big challenges, atone and correct for past sins, and dare to be the age of humans that leapt into a new age of social and technological innovation. We must find a way to move forward if we are to find a means of surviving ourselves. The codependency of peace on Earth and peace among the stars can no longer be ignored. It is the instability of one will which will lead to the immutability of the other.

Instead let’s use our collective future in space as a means of bringing greater intersectional justice to this miraculous planet on which we live. Let’s reject the status quo both here and in the Cosmos. Shed your national identity, your preconceived notions. Acknowledge your biases, don’t run from what you don’t know…confront your shortcomings with curiosity and kindness. Above all else…listen and consider. It will take all of us, it will take time (so much time), but we can begin the stumbling and awkward process of becoming a new humanity.

We, who are bursting with stardust, can become celestial citizens.

Join the conversation at www.celestialcitizen.com

“The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.”

– Rabindranath Tagore