3 Steps to Creating A Cool Retirement
By: Mickie Zada
Tags: New Horizons, Retired Women, Happy Decisions, Retirement Living, Retirement

3 Steps to Creating A Cool Retirement

Ahead lies a new horizon of exciting possibilities, if you decide that’s possible. Retirement is different from any previous life experience, except vacation!

All this adjustment and can be very disconcerting.

The lack of structure, adjusting to a fixed income, and the basics of living are fore-front in your mind. Other things we tend to face in retirement are the loss of friends and communication with other women, adjustment to being with your spouse full-time, and physical health concerns as we age.

Equally as important is our emotional health. If you don’t change your in-side programmed lessons (things you learned about aging as you were growing up), nothing changes long term. If you don’t change your in-side responses, your emotions, and actions, to stimuli (things that happen in your life), nothing changes long term.

Were you taught that retirement is the End?

That you have nothing left to offer?

That you’re too old now to begin anything new, or to follow dreams?

If that’s what you believe, that’s what will happen.

Dr. Wayne Dyer taught: When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change!

Think about that. When we change our perspective of the negative life-lessons we were taught about aging and retirement, those beliefs no longer control us!

Today you are at a milestone in your Life. Today, you can choose to change the way you look at things.

This moment may be the first time you’ve thought about the impact of life-lessons and mindset in creating and embracing who you are. As long as you continue thinking the same negative way (feeling lost, invisible, unvalued, hurt, angry, cheated by life) nothing changes for the better.

Doing the same things over and over, expecting different results is what? Some people say it’s insanity. I say it’s a victim state of mind. We can whine and cry, be angry, and feel drained. We can “wonder why” our lives are “like this” when others appear to be happy, thriving, and enjoying life.

Yet, we keep doing the same things: negatively re-acting to stimuli in our lives, embracing the emotions of fear, frustration, or anger. Over and over and over.

Today, because you’re reading this article, you are at a milestone in our Life. This new thought may be revolutionary: YOU are in control of your life!

You have the power to change your mind-set, change how you look at things, and create the life you love.

These 3 steps will empower you to choose a new direction.

1) Who ARE you? At 53 I had no idea who I was. “I” was still there, buried deep, but I was there. You are, too!



I suggest you begin taking an inventory of your whole life…from your earliest memory til today.



When were you happiest? At what age do you have fun, loving, joyful memories? Focus there! You might tread through some unpleasant memories, but pass them by for now. You’re looking for the enjoyable, the happy, the fond memories. They are there. Maybe buried. Maybe hidden. Let them surface to the light of your conscious mind.

Write down what you remember, how you felt, where you were, who was with you?



Begin a conversation with that person, your younger self. I think you’ll find that many traits she carried with her are still in you today! Choose to identify, uncover, and grow those traits.



This process may require an hour or weeks. Don’t rush. Take your time. Stay on track. You are discovering your authentic self.

2) When something happens to us, we tend to re-act. Over the years, because I thought I was stupid, I learned to protect myself. Sometimes that was by answering questions with half-truths or guessing what I thought was the expected response. I learned this behavior because I thought I was not as smart, not as witty, not as capable as others. I was often afraid my ideas or response would be wrong or sound silly. That re-action, that self-protection technique, was not healthy. I was continually washing Me away, undermining my own confidence and worth.



Dr. Viktor Frankl taught “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”



In that moment (space) between stimulus (what happens) and our response, we are able to choose a different course of action than has been our habit. The Moment (space) might be a nano-second, a day, or longer: However long it takes to process a response rather than a re-action. Once I discovered this concept, I used that moment to gather the confidence to respond as Me. Soon I discovered I was intelligent and just as worthy as anyone else.



Practice creating a Moment between stimulus and response. The results are astounding! You’ll be changing the way you look at things and building a healthy mindset. In-side change…it’s rewarding!

3) Have you ever walked into a room full of people you don’t know and, as you scan the room with your eyes, one person attracts your attention? You’ve never met this person but you strike up a conversation and soon feel as if you’ve been friends for a long time?



That experience is the result of energy. As humans, we send and receive energy 24/7/365. When the energy we are sending is received by someone with similar energy, there’s a connection. It happens all the time, doesn’t it?

Changing the energy we send out, which means changing our in-side thoughts, emotions and beliefs can be done. It requires embracing personal growth. It demands that we reprogram our old emotional patterns and beliefs about who we are.

Changing our energy isn’t easy because we’ve grown accustomed to the way we think, how we react to situations, how we feel.

Considering that our thinking, actions, and emotions have fostered insecurities and feelings of not being enough, why do we cling to staying the same? Because as humans, we would rather keep a tight hold on a life that hurts than take the risk of seeking happiness, freedom and our own authentic lives…we don’t know how to do that, we don’t know how it feels. So we stay the same. And the cycle continues.



If we don’t change, nothing changes.



Choose to change yourself. Begin today. Decide to read books, find communities of audacious, fun women, attend webinars. Do whatever needs to be done to grow you. A healthy, safe, authentic life is right there for you to embrace. Staying the same is easy. And, it hurts. Choosing to create a life you love is possible. You can do this!

No, you are not too old for a new beginning. Remember? I was 53 when I began the journey to excavate Me and begin creating my authentic life. I’m 69 now and still learning, changing, and evolving into the best Me I can.

Be aware that your friends and family, even your spouse, may undermine your change. They know you the way you’ve always been. This new side of you might be upsetting and bewildering to them. They will get over it. They will see how much happier you are…how much more engaged in life and that you are smiling more!

Now you know the three lessons I embraced when I embarked on the journey to choose a new direction for my life. It does not matter how old or young you are. It does not matter how much education you have. Creating a more joy-full life is possible. You just have to decide that’s what you want. Go for it!!