The Sexual Bill of Rights
By: Christine Stevens
Tags: Humor, Relationships, Sexuality, Equality, Sex

The Sexual Bill of Rights

Twelve basic sexual laws that must be obeyed

No, these laws aren’t written on my body yet, but they might as well be. Photo by Moncell Allen on Unsplash

Congress of the United States begun and held at Medium, between author Christine Stevens and author Sarene B. Arias who suggested such bill is needed.

THE Conventions of a number of writers in Sexuality who agree that a sexual Bill of Rights will best ensure the beneficent of knowledge gained heretofore in Medium.

RESOLVED that the following Articles be proposed, viz.

Article the first… Sex is a Positive

A woman’s sexuality shall be viewed in a positive manner and not be used to judge or condemn her as in past decades, centuries, and indeed millennia of patriarchy. All women have the right to be and behave sex positively, without shame, regret or guilt. A woman’s desire is not to be impugned. A woman’s body is allowed pleasure. A woman’s mind is allowed sexual thoughts. She need not pretend she does not think of sex. She need not pose as a virgin, nor suffer the label of whore. A woman need be seen as a woman solely, beyond that pathetic binary.

Article the second… Orgasm is a Right.

A woman is entitled to orgasm during sex. A woman’s male sexual partner shall not concentrate solely on his own desire. A man must do what a man must to enable, cause or otherwise contribute to this great goal — her climax. Failure to participate in this project is not to be looked on kindly.

Article the third… No, She Need Not Swallow!

While she may, if she chooses, ingest the ejaculate of the male, this is by no means a foregone conclusion or a virtue or anything he may expect. It can be an occasional treat if she wishes. Or not. She may spit it out, too, if it be bitter tasting. Pineapple might help with that, nobody knows for sure. But no, letting it drip languidly out her mouth, down her lip, and onto her chin while she stares vacantly shall forthwith only happen in porn, sorry.

Article the fourth… Her Body, Her Self!

A well-regulated Birth Control, being necessary to the security of a free from pregnant State, the right of the woman to keep and bear birth control pills, IUD devices, Plan B’s, diaphragms, shall not be infringed. But more than that, the man shares exactly half the responsibility for the well regulation thereof. In other words, bring a rubber. Finally, it being her body and her self, she is allowed to pleasure herself without guilt or recrimination — a lot!

Article the fifth… Consent Be Required.

No penis shall, in time of peace be quartered in any vagina, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law. Said consent must be on the part of all participants. That’s right, said consent can be withdrawn at any time during the sex act if it starts for whatever reason to be unpleasant. The act of wearing suggestive or provocative clothing is not consent to be harassed. No matter how sexy she is, she must not and never be harassed and bothered and annoyed by crudity and rudeness. Thank you good sirs. Give women peace, or ’tis too much to ask?

Article the sixth… The Many Genders and Sexualities.

She may be lesbian, bi, pansexual, demisexual, trans, non, asexual, cisgendered, in, out, drag, femme, butch, gender non-conforming, fluid, queer, intergender, pangender, intersex, queer, questioning, transitioning and whatever pronoun they/them/their wants to be. Nor shall any person be put in jeopardy of life or limb, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, nor shall private property be taken from because of any of that. Deal with it!

Article the seventh… She May Just Lie There.

If she is tired it is her prerogative to not leap about acrobatically to please a male. She can chill if she chooses, and may not be called a “dead fish” for sometimes preferring stillness. Complain about something else, sir, but not that. Lest ye be observed in all thy physical frailties and inadequacies in retort. The sexual partner is not in Cirq de Soleil. Sex in fact is not a circus. And she not a performer in it. She needn’t be in the mood, by the way. And you don’t need to guilt her if she rebuffs your advances. As much as she needn’t feel guilty for wanting sex, she needn’t feel it either for not wanting it. Don’t sulk, it’s not attractive.

Article the eighth… Exclusivity is Not Required.

Monogamy is not a virtue, ’tis but one choice of many. One-nighter is all it might have been, sir. Refrain from comment, good sir. Marriage is but one destination — the ship might dock at other ports. She needn’t love only you. She might be polyamorous. As far-fetched as it may seem, she may be attracted to another human being other than yourself during the course of fifty or eighty years. Stranger things have happened. She is permitted to act on said attraction if that’s the arrangement. There are many arrangements that can be made. Communication matters. Finally, vis a viz gentle sir Robert Lipshutz, the commencement of any activity under article 8 be governed by the mutual consent provisions of article 5.

Article the ninth…Kink is Just Kink.

Look, it doesn’t mean anything if she wants you to pull her hair. Explore it with her. Don’t get all weird about it. A spirit of playfulness must be brought to these matters. Remain open to clamping her nipple. Or her clamping yours. Kink is part of sex. If you’re not into it, fine, but pray forsooth, don’t judge.

Article the tenth….Porn is Fine.

But sex isn’t porn. Don’t expect it to be. And while we’re on the subject, don’t get so porn addled that you become impotent and can no longer serve her. Moderation, please. Remember, quiescence is the enemy of intercourse. Your erection is not her problem. Take a pill if you need to. She has a right to have you hard.

Article the eleventh….She is not an Object (Unless She Wants to Be).

She’s not your plaything, but she might like to play at being your plaything. She’s not your sex doll unless she’s feeling dolly. She’s not your centerfold but yes she might be posing. She’s your paradox, ‘kay? Get used to it.

Article the twelfth…She Has a Right to Know Your Sicknesses.

All sexually transmitted and otherwise infectious shall be pre-disclosed, along with any and all mental quirks she need know about. It’s fine to act non-psychopathic even if you are, but dropping her a little hint seems fair. Nobody likes to be surprised by Mr. Hyde after a good shag with Doc Jekyll. Be considerate. Thank you.

Please append hereto any other rights you deem inalienable vis-à-vis sex. Thank you.

ATTEST,

Christine Stevens, Speaker of the House of Sex