I Went On a Date With a 23 Year-Old… I am 19
By: Anisa Bhagwandin
Tags: Relationships, Teenagers, Dating, Men, Personal Story

I Went On a Date With a 23 Year-Old… I am 19

Photo by Artur Tumasjan on Unsplash

So I did something.

For the first time in 2 years, I tried opening myself up to the idea of dating again. This time it was just dating, (not trying to get into anything serious right away, you know) just seeing what else is out there for me.

For myself, it is hard to open up to people on dating apps or even want to meet up with them because I don’t know who they are and I need to feel some sort of security with the person I am dating. So before you think that this 23 year-old is some random guy…think again.

This person is from my church. I’ve known him almost my whole life, but I didn’t really know him, so I wanted to date him. I felt like he could actually be someone I can call my boyfriend. He was “boyfriend material.”

Until he wasn’t.

Let’s backtrack. So we follow each other on Instagram and I saw that he started a new business. I immediately wanted to show my support to I messaged him wanting to buy his products. What I thought was going to be a short conversation between us turned out to be a long one. After talking about buying his products, he carried on the conversation with me. We talked and talked about school, our careers and there was sly flirting in there too. He then asked me out for drinks and I agreed … of course.

Leading up to the date, which was 4 days away, we continued to message each other, exchanging numbers and just trying to get to know each other.

The day of the date. Finally, I was going to meet him in person and really see if there is chemistry there or if it was going to be awkward. But it wasn’t! He was super kind, and talked majority of the time, asked me personal questions, wanted to hold my hand, and he even tried to kiss me at the end of the night! Now you must be thinking, “Wow he’s so into you!” But I hate to break it to you…things took an awful turn.

After the date, I was expecting him to want to call me or text me and make plans to meet up again, but he totally did not. Well he did not make an effort to. Yes, we texted each other and talked about how nice the date was, but he did not want to make plans again. That’s where I started to get confused.

They say that,

“When you get confused on whether someone likes you or not, they probably DO NOT like you.”

Over time, it seemed like he only wanted to talk and hang out with me only on his terms. If I ever tried to talk to him, his responses would sound uninterested, and he would almost make me feel like I’m bothering him.

My biggest dilemma is that he’s from my church! That means even if I tell him I’m not interested in him anymore, I am still going to have to face him at church. If I choose to continue this on and off conversational relationship then it will be more easier to face him because I can still act like a “friend” towards him.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you readers, but it does to me.

Anyways, I am still trying to figure out this weird relationship with this 23 year-old, but one thing I’ve learnt so far is that no matter how much older a guy is…there is a reason why he’s single.

All of the girls his age probably know how he is, with his uninterested attitude. No girl would want to put up with that. Yet, young girls like me who are trying to form new relationships with people, get eager at the thought of an older guy.

I must remind you ladies, that just because he is older that doesn’t mean he knows everything. That doesn’t mean that he is mentally ready to be in a committed relationship. So be aware, don’t give a guy the time of day when he is only giving you second less than that. You deserve better.

I have a feeling that this week, I will end things with this 23 year-old. It’s about time.