20 Things I Learnt In 2020. By Cynthia Aralu
By: Cynthia Aralu
Tags: 2020, Year In Review, Living, Prayer, Love

By Cynthia Aralu

Lessons, Lessons..

2020 has been a heck of a ride. It has seemed like a long, drawn-out, horror movie. Yet, here we are, a week to its end and I’m inspired by a YouTuber to write about 20 lessons I have picked up all through the year. Let me know if any resonates with you.

Taking time out to practice self-care is a key source of nourishment for your external and inner being. It could in fact be a form of meditation. Ooommmm…. Don’t feel uncomfortable about speaking up for yourself. It’s a jungle out in this here world and people are aware of the aggression they give off. If they are shameless about their actions towards you, then, by all means, be shameless about telling them it is not acceptable or telling them ‘No’. And honestly, why should you be the one made to feel discomfort or uncomfortable. They should be uncomfortable and ashamed. Give yourself a chance to be happy. That stuck feeling is really a thing of the mind. Life is full of endless possibilities but you’ve got to be ready to create opportunities and endless options for yourself. Just remember to be selfish about picking what is best for you. Discovering new sounds and music is truly an amazing feeling. The less you can understand the lyrics the better. This is coming from the point of view of an empath. Sometimes, it can be a bit much to understand and feel the lyrics. Plus, you get to really enjoy and understand that good music, which has the ability to move you, transcends tongue and race. Go for it. Engage in things you’ve never done before, without overthinking that you’re going to be bad or you’re going to fail. I mean, what is the worst that could happen? You’re not going to die and at least you can say that with this life, you tried your best. Save. It really does add up. I’ve heard people say some people don’t even have enough money to save after expenses. If that’s you, this might not work. However, I’ve learnt to live really minimally and cut down on expenses, to enable me to save a particular amount of money every month. It takes a lot of sacrifice. Some might say, you might make all of that sacrifice and then die without spending the money, but how I see it is, even with the sacrifices I have made, do I have any regrets? If I have done the best I can, what is the point of regret? Perhaps, it helps that I don’t derive much pleasure from a lot of material things and so, I can’t really say, I want this or I want that. For me, money is the equivalent of security in a capitalist world and so, it is wise to have it. I do not need anybody’s approval. Only mine. It would be nice if the people I love got on board with my decisions but ultimately, I don’t need their approval. I’m going to make my decisions and if I make mistakes, I’ll learn from them. That’s just a part of living. The idea of somebody else seeming smart to me is a function of how much their ideas resonates with mine and how much of a higher awakening their ideas birth within me. When you say you love someone, what you love is the reflection of yourself within that person, which you unconsciously gravitate towards. A mirror effect. Love should not be hard. If it is, question it or make some evaluations. I understand there will be kinks and whatnots but if effort and consistency is lacking, then something is wrong. Maybe I should rephrase that first line. Love should not feel like hell. It should feel like home. Comfort. Acceptance. Value. Understanding. Respect. Mutual. Give yourself unlimited breaks. You are living your first life. You don’t get cheat sheets. You don’t know where each decision would lead to. Besides, there is no straight path anyway. Don’t be afraid to let go of what does not serve you anymore to give enough room for what aligns with you. Let go. Trust God. Hand over all activities carried out to Him so he takes care of them and watches over you and the work you do. “It’s all in your hands now, Father.” That way, you do less worrying and more living. Gratitude. Infuse a gratitude culture into your daily life. Tell yourself things you are grateful for. By the time you are halfway into listing, you will feel uplifted and full of appreciation for the little things. Be appreciative of every part of your journey through life. Even the annoying or upsetting or hurtful parts. It will be make you even more appreciative when you have moved away from them and give you a more wholesome view of your journey, like an unfolding story. Walking is therapeutic. It gives you time to meditate. And meditation isn’t necessary silence. It is also leaving the mind room to run off in any direction it wants to go. Walking could also be the time for your private concerts, you know, music, headphones, pure bliss. It is surprising how the time goes by so fast when I’m walking, without me even realising. I once told someone that my 30 minute walk took a duration of 13 to 15 minutes until I checked. Taking time to be alone and away from everyone can be necessary to refuel on energy. Don’t be afraid to go off and shut off all communication. In my case, it was deleting my social media apps for weeks. I felt better by the time I got back. Every now and then, I still find ways to limit the interactions I have with people. This is to avoid expending too much energy. That way, I can show up, be happy, lighter and give 100 percent when I have to. Stop waiting for things to be “perfect” before doing what you want to do. For ages, I did not attempt to personalise my space because I have moved a lot in the past and this home always felt temporary to me. I imagined if I got a more permanent place, I would do something about the place to make it mine. It was so fulfilling when I said, “fuck it”, and ordered a bunch of things off of Amazon to transform my space into what it is now. At present, my space has a personality and a vibe to it. Plus, it was a healing process for me as well. Absolutely worth it. Take charge of your health. This year, I have done a lot in that department which I will be going in-depth into in future posts. I had this behaviour of, “what you don’t know, won’t harm you.” It was borne out of a crashing fear of the unknown and not wanting to deal with potentially life-altering, bad news. This year, I have been able to break a lot of barriers in that department. There are so many complications that can be prevented from early diagnosis. Not knowing can literally kill you. I have been fortunate enough to take charge of my sexual health using my health insurance and I had the chance to do a medical exam recently. It is very empowering to make these decisions for myself. I feel it is a part of reclaiming my body. “My body is mine”. I’ve still got a ways to go but I have come a long way. Examining past trauma can help you understand why you are the way you are and help you figure out ways to be less reactive to certain situations or even more reactive. Never underestimate the power of a good therapy session. Certain behaviours are learnt from our family unit, whether or not this is realised. They are usually hard to unlearn but not impossible. Realisation is usually the first step to unlearning anything. So, good luck to everyone out there actively trying to be better versions of themselves.

That being said, cheers to us. We’ve made it this far. I am hopeful for blessings the New year bears, asking God to take control of the outcome of every move and every decision we make.

“Watch over us, Father.”