If You Have Mid-Life Burnout, Do These 4 Things — Quickly
By: Karen Nimmo
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Productivity, Psychology

You’re tired upon tired: short on energy, low on motivation.

There’s always so much to do: work, relationship, family, chores, life admin — you’re on the hamster wheel and it never ends. Even a weekend away doesn’t refresh you.

Mid-life is a common time for the cracks to appear. That’s when people are often sandwiched between raising kids, caring for elderly parents and trying to rise up the ranks at work.

It’s also when we come face to face with the life choices we’ve made — and the consequences — and we begin to see life as finite. Time is running out.

What’s Mid-Life Burnout?

Burnout is the term commonly used to describe chronic work stress but it can be applied to life, generally.

Burnout can be hard to spot because it starts slowly and presents in the same way as symptoms of mild-to-moderate depression that, if left unchecked, can morph into serious clinical problems.

So it’s important to keep an eye on yourself as the years stack up. Here are the key signs of burnout as they apply to mid-life.

1. Physical and mental exhaustion.

Many mid-lifers are hitting the peak of their professional careers at the same time as they are raising kids and looking after aging parents. The relentless demands and worries coming from all angles — along with the sameness of their days and little time for fun — gets to people. They’ll often report erratic sleep, problems with concentration and decision making, feeling flat, more anxious and “lost”. Physically, there may be stomach problems, headaches and unexplained aches and pains. People often explain these away as “getting older” but it’s often the fallout of all the stress they’re under.

2. Feeling cynical about work and relationships.

Burnout, like depression, negatively colours our view of ourselves, our people and our future. And that can lead us to see the worst in our partners, family, close friends and the people we work with. And once we get into the habit of seeing the downside, it’s hard to see anything else.

People often report less tolerance/more conflict with their partners — especially over chores, money and sex — and feel bleak about the future of their relationship. On the work front, people may feel professionally stuck which fuels feelings of discontent.

3. Feeling like you’re not doing anything well.

Mid-lifers will often say they feel they’re they’re failing on all fronts. Everything is “once over lightly”. Or they’ll manage to do one thing well (like work) but be hyper-irritable and short on energy with partners and kids, which upsets them and causes guilt. A feeling of futility creeps in when they realise they don’t have the time or headspace to think about what they’re doing all this for and what their next step might be.

What To Do: 4 Strategies That Will Help

1. Pay attention — and take a break.

Seriously. Burnout is no joke. It’s the clearest sign you are desperate for a mental and physical rest. Take a break immediately if you can and put some boundaries around all the demands on your time. Only your family will care if your health is compromised — everyone else will just look around for someone to take your place.

2. Do the hard math on your schedule.

Pause! Even when people are run ragged they’ll often keep saying yes; they’ll do that little bit of overtime for the boss, they’ll help out a friend in need, they’ll let their kids add another activity to their schedules. Maybe they’re kind by nature or like to please or are super-responsible — or it’s just habit. Be careful about continuing to operate on automatic pilot — it’ll come back to bite you.

Take an inventory of your schedule, then ruthlessly clear out everything that’s unnecessary. Then make it a rule that if you can’t add something to your schedule without dropping something else — and stick to it.

3. Carve out some regular “me” time.

This can be particularly challenging for people who don’t have any free time. But if you don’t do anything for yourself, you’ll be resentful (as well as burnt out). You don’t have to have a lot of “me” time to feel better, just a couple of regular slots you can count on AND enjoy. And some of it should be alone so you have time to think about your future or next step.

4. Find a way to get excited.

When you’re struggling with burnout, all forms of positive emotion (except cynical laughter) seem to go walkabout on you. Don’t try to force yourself to feel happy — it won’t work. Just find one little (lawful) thing that gets you a little excited and go do it. It may be something you haven’t done for a while, or it may be a swerve in a new direction. But once you feel that buzz again, you’ll be up for creating ways to have more of it.

As entrepreneur Tim Ferris says: “Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase. It is the cure-all.”