How to Survive Christmas While Pregnant
By: Caffeinated Housemum
Tags: Step By Step, Sarcasm, Christmas, Survival, Pregnancy

Navigating life while pregnant can be complicated enough, never mind trying to cope with Christmas and avoid all the sherry soaked trifles…However, being pregnant doesn’t mean being boring this Christmas!

You are growing a tiny human! Use this opportunity to enjoy every scrap of Christmas food that crosses your path, as well as be pampered beyond belief!

After all, you are giving everyone the best Christmas present ever this year…It might not be right now, but the best gifts take time and effort, so put your feet up and enjoy!

(DISCLAIMER!: Food and indulgence not guaranteed. Not all families celebrate Christmas/appreciate the difficulties of being pregnant at this time of year.

Please check with your doctor before indulging in too much food and relaxation. I am not a Professional Christmas advisor, nor am I an elf or any other Christmas related expert. I can only speak from experience. Please do not attempt to take any of these steps seriously, unless you are actually pregnant and would like to enjoy your final Christmas as yourself, and not “MUUUUUUMMMM!!!” — Which is what is coming once your sprog is born…)

(Oh, and this post may contain affiliate links! Using them won’t cost you any extra, but they help me keep the lights on! Thank you!)

Enjoy!

Step One: Prepare yourself for the hilarious experience that is being sober at Christmas!

This also applies to New Years!

Watching everyone else ‘let their hair down’, and knowing you’ll probably be the only one who will remember it all the next day, can be surprisingly fun!

You can make this even more entertaining by starting a list of all of the strange and embarrassing quotes that people come up with while wasted!

(Not that I’ve ever done that…👀)

Step Two: Avoid the chaos that is Christmas shopping

Pregnant people should not be exposed to crowded places, germy people, stress and massive ques for the loo, so take advantage of the amazing world of online shopping and enjoy your pjs a little longer!

Step Three: Use Pregnancy cravings as a reason to eat ALL the food

You’re eating for two now, right?

No one can deny that you need to eat all of the mince pies, roast potatoes, turkey and Christmas pud that you could want!

Step Four: Don’t let them overstay their welcome!

You need your rest and hosting people when you need a nap is not fun!

So feel free to kick them out or just generally refuse them entry to your home altogether!

If they want to see you this Christmas, they will have to wait until you have rested… (Let’s be honest, no one wants all those people around anyway!)

Step Five: Establish that someone else is cooking the Christmas dinner this year.

Apart from the fact that you couldn’t possibly stand up and sweat in the kitchen for all that time while you have a baby wriggling around your stomach, there is no guarantee that if you did attempt to cook the dinner, it would all make it to the table without being nibbled…

Step Six: Expect (and accept) that most of your gifts this year will be baby related!

I’m not saying that baby related gifts are a bad thing, I’m just saying that I hope there was nothing you actually wanted this Christmas, because it’s probably not happening!

To be honest, when you’re pregnant, all those cute little baby grows and shoes and toys will probably get you all emotional and sappy, because…hormones…

Step Seven: Have a box of tissues with you AT ALL TIMES!

Have you seen the adverts they play at Christmas?

Let alone the movies and the songs that are on a never ending cycle… If you thought you were tearing up with very little prompting before, you just wait until that snowman melts at the end of the movie, or John Lewis do some cute bear advert again…

Even the Coca-cola advert will have you in floods this year, so be prepared!

Step Eight: Enjoy every moment of this Christmas and relish in all the attention you’ll be getting, because next Christmas, you won’t get a look in!

This Christmas, you are v.i.p.p, Very Important Pregnant Person!

Enjoy the luxuries that come with not having to help clear the table and being pampered by your loved ones, because next year all eyes will be on the little one enjoying their first ever Christmas!

And you’ll be on nappy changing duty…

Remember, just because you can’t drink the mulled wine, or eat the sherry trifle, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the magic of Christmas!

Sit back, relax, let everyone pamper you.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

(Second Disclaimer! All Pregnancy Christmas’ in 2020 should be enjoyed safely and as amazingly as possible! I actually wrote this waaay in advance, pre the crazy virus! Stay safe and have a wonderful Christmas!)

— Lizzy ❤ x