Lost Angeles
By: Asha Noel Iyer
Tags: Relationships, Inspiration, Los Angeles, Love, Life

Lost Angeles

Image by Sterling Davis on Unsplash

Los Angeles: the city of dreams, palm trees, and world-famous traffic. Also home to tiny dogs in purses, smog, endless oat milk ads, “athleisure” culture, and some of the best food you’ll find in the world (My Thai restaurant in Koreatown I mean come on).

Some stereotypes are true, the majority are not. But the thing I love most about this city is that we’re a town of broken toys. Everyone here is so human. So flawed. And so ceaselessly looking for purpose. The feeling of ambition in this city is acute. Most people aren’t from here, they left their hometowns filled with their family and friends to come here and build an abundant career and life. Now they’re here, and searching for “it”.

It’s a city of lost souls, and I find endless beauty in this every day.

I’ve lived in a lot of places, and never have I been so inspired by the creativity, vulnerability, and ambition as I have of the people in this city.

I never want to leave.

Image by Izayah Ramos on Unsplash

So what inspires this drive in Angelinos? Well for one, the SUNSHINE. The beaches! The gorgeous Santa Monica mountains. The sparkling ocean and lovely, tepid weather are soul-nourishing. But the truly special thing is the people.

There’s a search for community here that is so unique.

This city is incredibly spread out, so it can get lonely real fast. It’s not like NYC where you’re warding people off left and right. In LA you can wake up in your studio apartment, drive to work, work all day with the same 12 people you see every day, drive home, and get home with time to make dinner and drink wine, alone. All day. Without any meaningful human contact. (Except perhaps Susan at the water cooler or the angry guy who cut you off on La Cienega).

Angelinos crave human contact and connection.

This seems so sad at first. But really, it’s wonderful. Because everyone here wants to connect with others! How special is that? In other big cities having space and time alone is a rarity. Here it’s a gift. Because finding friends is hard. And it makes each found relationship so incredibly special.

I’ve met some of the best humans in this city.

My first friend was Kodi. I met her in the first acting class I took here. When the #blacklivesmatter riots were at their height this past summer and most people were afraid and getting out of town, she said, “I’m staying put. It feels like this city needs me.” She hung around the perimeter of the riots and stood up for minorities she saw being targeted by the police.

Then there were was Ashley and Erika. I actually know them from college, but our friendship deepened innumerably in LA. When I first got here, I was lost. Lost as I’ve ever been. They helped me do literally everything. Find jobs, see shows, meet people. They took me under their wing, showing me all the best places to eat and drink and inviting me everywhere they went. The beginning was lonely, but I was never truly left alone thanks to these two. For that, I will forever be in their corner.

Oh and have I mentioned I met my husband here? Well, an hour south of here. So basically here. We met drinking wine at a friend’s birthday party. He’s my favorite person and best friend. When the pandemic started he insisted we donate food to the homeless and health care workers. We had both lost our jobs and our community’s wellbeing was still his first priority. SWOON.

After meeting my husband, I met several more dear friends. We have a group that we used to do weekly pot lucks with (pre covid). They were up until 3 am with me the week before our wedding, helping me paint and glue together all our wedding decor. When I tried to give them a bottle of wine as a thank you, they instead came over the next night making me dinner so I could relax. What?!

There are so many more spectacular friends I’ve met here that I could go on about. I still can’t believe all the special people I’ve met in this city.

Angelinos are wildly generous. It makes my heart simultaneously burst and grow every single day. This city has given me love and relationships that I can’t imagine my life without.

And then there are the true lost souls. Not the people like me- searching, socializing, doing the grind whilst circulating between coffee and wine.

The lost souls on the street.

Los Angeles has one of the worst homeless problems I have ever seen. A report by NPR in June 2020 showed the numbers to be 66,433. These numbers are staggering, and the hate and intolerance of this issue is even more heart breaking. In cities like Mumbai, London, New York- homelessness exists. Without a doubt. But it’s accepted. Most citizens have a certain level of compassion for the people on the street. There’s community.

In Los Angeles, the homeless have to fend for themselves. The police constantly move them. Most citizens here feel like “the homeless issue” is getting better! They’re all gone yay! But the problem isn’t being solved, just moved. There are some incredible grass-root volunteer organizations here trying desperately to help the homeless population. And Mayor Garcetti has put colossal efforts into this issue as well: He’s poured millions of dollars into housing for the homeless, including “A Bridge Home”- a movement to create emergency shelters in each council district. These efforts are wonderful, but the amount of room to grow is still deafening.

In LA, we are reminded every day what could happen to us if we don’t keep going. We have people in need all around us. Social media doesn’t draw a veil over everything here. A look outside our windows or a walk through skid row pries our hearts open. A thriving city where most people are satisfied reaches complacency. Not here.

But the most amazing thing is that people keep hope! It’s extraordinary! Even (especially) the homeless population have these huge dreams. Many are there because of those dreams, and yet they are still going! If they are still going, how can we not?

The fervent dreams of the people in this city are dizzyingly addicting to be around.

We are all pursuing something greater than ourselves here. We can kid ourselves into believing that our economic standing makes us different or special. But it doesn’t. In LA there’s a palpable feeling of, “Hey man I don’t know who you are or what you do but I think we’re both here grinding to make something great in life.”

Image by Benjamin Sow on Unsplash

So what makes LA special? The constant sunshine. The search for connection. The generosity of the people. The driven community of creatives and entrepreneurs. The collective search for purpose and the terror of failure. The glittering ocean to remind us how beautiful the world is when we get too scared. The relentless spirit to keep going. The community of lost souls all working so incredibly hard and genuinely doing our best.

I am so honored to be an Angelino.

I am searching, always. I hope I never stop. When we stop searching, we stop learning. And this city inspires me to grow my mind and heart every day. I love what this city offers. I love how genuinely limitless it is. I love the people, the food, the gorgeous canopy of palm trees draped above us every day. I love the independence and privacy of travel. I love the fact that I can drive to work listening to my favorite podcast, with my coffee beside me, AC blasting. That doesn’t exist in other big cities. But most of all, I love the lost souls. Because we always find each other. And I can’t wait to see how this city grows because of that.