Ghosts Whose Visit I’d Dread on Christmas
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Ghosts Whose Visit I’d Dread on Christmas

A Christmas Carol made its three ghosts instant celebrities. I’ll admit that one is scary, but I’m not afraid of them. Though there are thematic ghosts whose visit I dread during the holidays.

Ghost of Mulled Wine

From the moment I started drinking I learned that hot winter drinks are inherently delicious. Mulled wine in particular is dangerously addictive. It is easy to drink too much of the warm mixture which leads to saying too much at a party.

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Ghost of Last Minute Gifts

This ghost comes in form of a hastily rewrapped gift, its trailing ribbon fraying at the edges, representing the unwinding of friendships I’ve caused by trying to pass an old gift off as new. Or a random gift as something thoughtful.

Here’s a quick note to remember. Just because that person pointed out a squirrel once, doesn’t mean that person likes all things squirrel.

Will the spirit show me the secret Santa party this Saturday? Will it show me Katie opening a candle that I’ve forgotten to take my name off of? I shudder to think what I might behold.

Ghost of Bad Buys

OH ILL-FITTING VELVETEEN DRESS, TORMENT ME NO LONGER!

The ghost who represents our impulse buys can take many forms. What is that purchase that haunts you most? You don’t have to tell me. The spirit already knows.

Ghost of Christmas Movies I Pretended Not To Watch

The spirit takes the form of a bubbly heroine from a romantic comedy who clumsily drifts toward my bed. She’ll definitely break something on the way, but I can’t be angry. She’s too charming. Yet she is angry.

For though I watch her and all of her clones on numerous streaming services every year, I do not hesitate to make fun of the films in public. After her visit maybe I shall redeem myself and loudly announce to the world that I watched A Christmas Prince 4 times already.

Ghost of Sad Christmas Trees

It emerges from the darkness, barely illuminating the doorway with its measly three working lights. As it floats above me, I am forced to see it in all of its bleak, bare glory.

I must face the truth. Never shall I be able to fully commit to decorating a tree. I know I’ve done wrong, so should this ghost appear I am ready with extra popcorn to string across its branches. Hopefully this will appease it.