My Roaccutane Nightmare
By: Lauren Pentland
Tags: Womens Health, Body Positive, Acne

Image by Lucy Alana

Acne: an issue which many adolescents face during the awkward phase of puberty, and a huge confidence destroyer for most. For many teenagers, acne comes and goes within a few years. They wave goodbye to the final zit and sigh ‘At least that is over’. For me, this wasn’t the case. I first developed acne at the age of 12, and I can assure you that it was the beginning of a hellish few years.

It took several trips to various healthcare professionals, including a dermatologist who eventually told me that I had cystic acne. To sum up the severity of my acne disorder, the symptoms included:

A swollen, purple face

Facial bleeding (resulting in me having to cover my pillow with a towel overnight)

Large, oily lumps on my face

In short words, it was awfully painful, and it lowered my self-esteem. However, the dermatologist offered me the ultimate way to sort out my face and all its lumps and bumps once and for all- a pill called ‘Roaccutane’. I was informed that it was a powerful medication with many side effects, but I would be closely monitored via blood tests for the entire course of the medication.

What Is Roaccutane?

Roaccutane (also known as Isotretinoin) is an acne medication, which has also occasionally been used to prevent certain skin cancers, according to the NHS. A typical treatment course lasts between 4–6 months, but this is simply a guideline.

Due to the strength of the medication, there is a strict set of rules in place to ensure that it is used safely. The NHS website states that it is important not to take Roaccutane if one is allergic to soya or Isotretinoin, to attend regular medical check-ups, and to immediately stop the medication if an individual begins to feel depressed or suicidal.

Despite the ridiculously long list of side effects and warnings, I was 100% set on beginning the course of treatment as soon as possible. Bear in mind, I was a 15-year-old student at the time, who stood out like a sore thumb amongst the glamorous girls in my year group. I would have done almost anything to have clear skin and feel confident in my body.

Before and After Roaccutane: Image by Allure

Beginning of Treatment

When I first began taking Roaccutane, I didn’t notice any major differences in my body or mind. In fact, I couldn’t believe I had ever worried about the side effects. However, things quickly changed. About a week or two into the treatment, my skin became incredibly dry and flaky, to the point where it would shed without me even touching my face. This was of course rather embarrassing when sitting in class.

In terms of my mental health, I was feeling more or less stable. If anything, I felt optimistic- excited to look in the mirror in four months’ time and see a face which I didn’t loathe. I thought to myself: ‘If this is as bad as it gets, I guess I can handle that for a little longer.’

Image by Lukas Blazek on Unsplash

Worsening Side Effects & A Vital Decision

It was precisely two months into the treatment that I realised the side effects of the Roaccutane were becoming more of a burden on my daily life. My skin was still flaky, and I was having headaches on a regular basis. In addition to the physical side effects, I recognised a huge change in my mental wellbeing. Although I had anxiety before I started taking the medication, I found that on many mornings, I was vomiting due to high levels of anxiety, and I also began to encounter depressive episodes.

It took a lot of consideration to finally make the decision to stop taking Roaccutane. As much as I wanted clear skin, the way the medication tampered with my mental and physical health was almost unbearable. I went back to taking antibiotics prescribed by the dermatologist, along with a concoction of lotions and creams- which eventually worked.

Although Roaccutane may work for some people, I would like to share one piece of advice with anybody who may be considering taking the drug: when weighing up the pros and cons of such a powerful form of medication, always prioritise your mental health over any desired physical change. You will thank yourself later on.