Why we need to stop shaming remote workers and people with disabilities for taking time off
By: Rosemary Richings
Tags: Remote Working, Disability, Millennials, Mental Health

The last time I was a guest on a podcast, I was a first for that show in two different ways:

I was the first remote worker (guest)

And the first formally diagnosed Dyspraxic to come on the show and talk about their Dyspraxia.

The host also happened to have a disability themselves, something that doesn’t happen often when I make guest appearances on podcasts. That alone was freeing. I didn’t have to mask my neurodiversity to keep up with someone else’s idea of “normal”.

So I was as transparent as I possibly could be, even when discussing heavy topics, like stigma and bullying, for example.

Although what I remember the most about that conversation is the first ten minutes.

The host said:

“How are you?”

Then I surprised even myself with my response:

“I’m good thanks. Just woke up from a nap, so I feel great! “

He laughed, I laughed, and we had a very relatable conversation about our preferences around napping. Turns out he’s not a fan of napping during the day, but I love it. Discussing when I nap, why I nap, and how I nap was the perfect segway into me explaining how my brain works.

Because the first thing we talked about was how rest benefits me from a productivity and creativity perspective.

At the time, unapologetically admitting I take nap breaks felt important

I’m a millennial, and to me, one of the most damaging features of my generation is our relationship with technology.

Everything from weddings, engagements, and pregnancies, to other important milestones, are seen through Instagram and Facebook filters. You hardly ever see the difficult parts of all these things. When people are vulnerable, it’s often a troubling cry for help.

Because of this, I know so many women my age who feel like they need to apologize when they can’t work harder, or need to take some time off.

How this relates to the need to nap

Keeping in touch with people without having to worry about long-distance fees or other barriers is wonderful. But seeing that your peers are one step ahead of you at a significant milestone of “adulting” can do terrible things to your mental health.

Meanwhile, the cost of living, housing, and other expenses is going up, and the average wage doesn’t properly reflect those costs. No matter how hard we work, we often can’t access many of the things that our parents did at our age.

To make things even worse, the media paints my generation as an easy target. It doesn’t matter if we have zero jobs or ten jobs. Not being able to afford or access certain things leads to unproven claims that we’re all lazy, entitled, or irresponsible with money.

Proving other people wrong can make working even harder extremely tempting. Then you work so hard that the gut feelings that protect you from being taken advantage of are less reliable. Not having a 9-to-5 schedule taught me that the only thing that actually matters is the results of what you do.

If I have to nap for an hour to do a good job at a freelance project that is due in a few days, I’ll do it. No one is counting how many hours I worked because that’s not what they’re paying for.

Although I totally realize that not everyone has that privilege. However, from a broad workforce perspective, we put too much emphasis on how many hours someone worked. Then too little meaning is placed on what happened during those hours, and time is wasted on office politics.

When I was writing an article on workforce accessibility for people with disabilities, I learned that disability unemployment rates are way too high

But honestly, I’m not surprised. All types of breaks are often a source of shame and judgement, and environment-based accommodations aren’t always taken seriously.

Not to mention, getting a job in the first place relies on tactics that can be really tough for people with non-neurotypical brains or chronic illnesses.

For example, neurodiverse folks are less likely to pick up on the verbal and non-verbal cues you have to pick up on to thrive in a job interview or networking event. Then, there is the interview process, where you have to “prove” that you’re a worthwhile candidate with your words. The pressure to prove your worth without preparation can be a source of stress and anxiety; because you have to be the cleverest and loudest voice, rather than the most dedicated worker.

From a chronic illness point of view, 8 hours of work, and multiple hours of schmoozing can be hard. Because that’s a long time to have to worry about everything from how you look to what you say while also managing your chronic condition.

But don’t get me wrong. People with disabilities can and often are an amazing contribution to the workforce. When they’re not, it is often, but not always, the fault of people who have the power to change how people work.

That, however, is easier said than done. The people who will probably disagree with me in the comments section will disagree because the system has worked for them.

So for the sake of the naysayers let me put things into perspective. Right now, so many different people are looking in the mirror and asking themselves:

Why do the characters of the books I read, and the movies I watch, along with the people I work with all look like me?

And for those who don’t feel represented enough the question is something much heavier and more complicated than that:

Why don’t they look like me?

Meanwhile, COVID is forcing our lives on Zoom, and people who would have never thought they would be isolated are isolated from their communities. Most importantly though, it is changing how we socialize, how we build and maintain relationships, and how we work.

The COVID era, so far, is proof of something I assumed all along:

We don’t have to use centuries-old work and social practices to connect and work with each other. Nothing excites me more than the idea that we could use the tools at our disposal to provide accessible options for those who have felt left out all along.

I want to believe that this will lead to the changes I was hoping for all along, but I’m also a realist who maintains my sanity with a pinch of optimism. How we work is causing huge levels of inequality and inaccessibility for so many people. It took a nasty virus for this unresolved issue to rise to the surface, and that’s progress. But we also need to find a resolution to these issues.