A Man’s Constant Struggle To Remain Joyful
By: Shiva Shambhu
Tags: Social Service, Happiness, Spiritual, Compulsive Habits, Consciousness

I am nobody in front of Kabir Das to give commentry on his couplets, only thing here I will try is to explain how a man tries to implement this couplet in his own life by various means consciously or compulsively. To become happy and joyful, a man always wants to dissolve (or forget) himself into something or someone he is devoted to. He can be involved and devoted to something only when he considers it larger than his own identity and that happens only when he loves that thing. Having hard time understanding what I am saying, let’s talk in terms of some examples below —

For a cricketer, this joy comes when he is on the field playing with full involvement and he even forgets himself when he hits the ball.

For a dancer, this joy comes when he is devoted to dancing sequence so much that he starts enjoying and celebrating every move, in this process he forgets who he is, he kind of dissolves his ego.

For a God/Deity/Guru worshipper, this joy manifests when he is so much engrossed in his prayer or meditation that he forgets even the meditator (himself) who is meditating.

For a terrorist, his joy is in the act of spreading his ideology, he is so much devoted to the extremist philosophy that he will do anything to protect it. It is just that he has been misguided to protect a cause which does need any protection. A terrorist is even willing to die for what he believes in.

For a ngo worker, his biggest motivation or passion or joy is when he works for the society, because he loves to devote his time for a cause which eliminates people’s suffering.

Some are devoted to process of hoarding money and possessions, so money is biggest motivator for them to have more joy. They dissolve into those activities which make more money for them.

A mother is so much devoted to her children that wellbeing of her child matters more than her own wellbeing. Only real joy for her is when her child is feeling happy.

For a traveller, this joy manifests when he dissolves himself into the mountains or nature or any beautiful sight.

A yogi who is devoted to freedom or moksha wants to dissolve his whole ego or individuality in the process of attaining nirvana.

When a man falls in love, it means his ego is falling, he is forgetting himself and that dissolution of him is making him joyful.

This happened to me once when I was studying for my engineering entrance examinations. Two girls who were twins used to come to my coaching center, both were identical and out of those two girls I was particularly attracted to one of them. The first time I saw her, I immediately fell for her. It was a love which was a kind of submissive in nature, like you bow down to her, like you are devoted to her, like when you think about her, its just her, her and only her, nothing matters in life at that time and at that moment you forget everything including any concern for yourself and that’s the joy I am talking about. I got so much connected to her in my mind that after few months she contacted me online, I don’t know how but she was like a mirror who was just reflecting the same feelings towards me which I had for her and then our love story began. But after sometime I had to make various excuses to leave her because I was very much socially anxious. That’s a long story. But I still love that feeling, I loved her like a devotee/worshipper loves her goddess. There is no lust or desire or give n take or anything like that, it is pure submission or devotion to something which you consider higher than your own ego or self. I had the same experiences with travelling, whenever I got a chance I just travelled and travelled not with any purpose to see anything particular but just exploration of some unknown. Mountains, nature and greenery had always intrigued me, these things had always been a kind of trigger for me, thinking about those I would just forget myself and go into the trance mode by dissolving my worries into these massive wonders of mother earth. People thought I was a lonely soul who always travelled solo. When I resigned from my corporate job, first thing I did was to fly off to Maharashtra for a solo expedition to see the Western ghats, indescribable experience that was. Some travelled for Instagram, some travelled for FB check-ins, some travelled to complete their bucket list, some travelled to add one more spot in their travel diary, some travelled because everybody around them was doing the same so they had FOMO, maybe I was only one stupid there who travelled to be with those massive mountains, rivers and trees.

So basically to forget himself a man can devote to various other things also like drugs, alcohal, terrorism, sex, masturbation, travel, reading, earning money, party, food, social media, Internet or just gossiping. All these mediums are just a way to forget oneself or for some people it is just a way to avoid oneself. Only those people avoid themselves who can never remain alone with themselves, so they have found one of these ways to keep themselves busy or distracted in order to forget themselves.

Okay let’s talk about it in some technical terms . I have segregated human’s activity into two parts —

Conscious activity — Activity which you choose because it results in wellbeing of yours or everyone around you or it just results in the wellbeing of everyone around you excluding you. This activity is done with by placing the concern for everyone above your own life. Compulsive activity — Activity which is good for you and bad for other’s wellbeing or activity which is bad for you as well as others. Activity to which you are addicted to and your mind has no control over it.

When your nature is compulsive, you have zero sensitivity towards other life forms around you. So a man with no sensitivity forcefully tries to forget himself with compulsive habits, a man with super sensitivity and conscious mind can never think of being devoted to something which can harm other life, when I say other life, it includes humans, nature, earth, plants and animals.

That’s why some of the above activites are looked upto and some of these are looked down upon in society. Why we look down on terrorism is because a terrorist has lost the sensitivity of other people’s lives, for him only his philosophy, his dogmas matters. A terrorist act can only protect the people of his religion, it does not include people of all faiths. Act that he does can only satisfy his ego and it is done without any concern for the society at large. But why do we applaud a social worker because he is sensitive to the world’s suffering, a real social activist places society’s wellbeing above his own. A real social activist does not work for a particular catse, religion, gender etc. Both terrorist and social worker are feeling joyful in their job, the only difference is that one is fullfilling the demands of his ego and identity (religion, caste, race) while the other one is fullfilling the demands of society. One has a very narrow vision while other has a very vast plan.

I think a man who hoards the money and valuables just for some momentary pleasures, a man who only fights for the people’s rights of his own identity (caste, creed, race, nation or religion), a man who is attached only to his family and hate his neighbors, a man who overeats without any concern for the poor people, a man who keeps producing his children without any concern for population control are also a kind of terrorist at some level in my eyes.

A man has always been in constant struggle and dilemma how to find true happiness and joy so he constantly tries to engage himself in new things and people but none of these things bring permanent happiness because that action performed is not inclusive, it is either a selfish act or a compulsive act.

So it is my request that next time before doing any thing please keep in mind whether your action benefits the life of everyone around you, if it doesn’t benefit them atleast it shouldn’t harm them.

Only when your actions can give something back to the life and society around you, your act will bring a kind of joy in you which is not a momentary pleasure that you get from sex or hoarding things, it is a permanent joy that stays with you forever.

Please read below posts too that I wrote earlier to understand my message in a better way. 🙏