How to Set a Goal That You Will Not Ditch Halfway
By: Christian Todd
Tags: Goal Setting, University, Personal Development, Goals, Self Improvement

#1. Emotional Connection

Most of the goal-setting theories failed to account for the reason behind your goals. The “why” you want to achieve something. They are merely a comprehensive checklist that allows for easy measurement. However, they did not take into account the innate emotional connection to your innermost desires.

This is possibly why I have abandoned so many of my goals. Although I wanted them and it will be a great skill to add to my arsenal, it didn’t really mean that much to me whether I achieved it or not. Ergo, leaving me like a lost puppy chasing its own tail, not making any progress, lacking the motivation to press on, and eventually losing interest and bailing.

Intrinsically motivated goals are different. They help you set and achieve objectives that actually matter to you. If you can’t answer the question as to why your goals matter, then how will your efforts matter? Tie your goals to your core value.

Truthfully, I am not a smart person, but I didn’t really know that back then.

In my first “big exam”, the one that is going to determine my secondary school, I did alright, pretty average. On the second “big exam,” I did extraordinarily great that it actually surprised everybody. Because of that, I thought I was a smart person and didn't need to put in the work as others did.

My friends were spending their nights studying while I spent it gaming. So to nobody’s surprise, I did terribly. I was overconfident. Even on the day of the results, I thought I’d be one of the top students to go on stage to receive that certificate. But I waited and there was no echo of my name. I was ashamed and embarrassed. It felt terrible.

So this time, it was a chance at redemption for me. A chance not to f*ck up and prove that I can actually do it. It was the last stretch of my university years. I had to give it all I’ve got. I knew that if I did not give it everything that I’ve got, I will feel sorry for myself for the rest of my life. And I would most likely hate myself while at it.

#2. Empowerment

Personal empowerment can mean differently for different people. But it pivots on two factors: Believing in yourself, and following through. Empowering is about letting our goals inspire us and make us feel that what we want is just within reach.

It is similar to a “pull goal” rather than a “push goal”. In other words, instead of you saying “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t have what it takes,” you change that into “I don’t know but I’ll learn” or “I know I can do this.”

Before hitting the ground on my goal, I really didn’t know if I could do it. As a matter of fact, I was actually scared. But the dream that I actually did it gave me the strength to push on. I envisioned the emotions coursing through my veins as I receive the news. Knowing that all the sacrifices that I am about to make will eventually be worth it. Though the task was super tough, it is not impossible. And I wanted it bad.

Understand how reaching your goals will make you feel, and then proceed to the actionable steps to make it happen.

#3. Actionable

Imagine yourself being in the middle of the jungle where you need to get to the top of the mountain to get a signal for your phone. But to get there, there are just so many obstacles to face. Wild/poisonous animals, dense forest, and the long climb upwards. I mean, that’s just downright intimidating. How are we gonna get there?

Well, use checkpoints. Checkpoints that are simple to judge and achieve. Don’t forget that every step towards your goal is a step closer to your destination. No matter how big or small that step is, it counts. Just keep moving forward.

Breaking my goal into smaller chunks helped take the guessing and the mess out of my work. Every morning when I wake up, I had a clear picture of what to do that day. And that saved me the mental capital to focus on my work instead of sorting out my mess.

Not only that, but it also reduced my fear and anxiety. I know that if I finished the tasks according to my plan, I am safe from the deadline. If I hadn’t planned it out, my mind would be distracted by whether or not I still have time to finish the other assignments. And that is an unnecessary distraction.

It is normal that on your climb, you get tired. So might want to take a rest. But don’t give up just yet because the rewards of your goal is there to magnetize you on that final sprint.

#4. Rewards

Before embarking on that endeavor, identify what’s in it for you. Not your friends, not your partner, not your family, but you. Though not an absolute, if your goals don’t reward you, what is the point of doing it then?

For me, I actually stood to gain a certain amount of money. If I got that First Class degree, I didn’t need to pay back my student loan. And it was quite a huge sum of money. On the other hand, being able to prove to myself that I can do it despite the chaos was something that I really needed. I needed to know that that spirit inside of me still hasn’t died.

Knowing what you stand to gain also means knowing what you stand to lose. You’ll see what you’re missing out on if you decide to stop climbing that mountain.

There were rough patches along the way, but nothing could stop me. I cannot fail. I simply didn’t like the idea of getting a certificate that did not represent my best efforts. It just wasn’t an option for me. I was walking on a tightrope and there were no safety nets. And the only way past is going all the way.

Final thoughts:

If you’re hitting all of these criteria, it means that you deeply care about your goal. Having your thoughts, emotions, and actions working together is a force to be reckoned with. It will even turn that checklist into a way of life.

Think about why it matters. In both the short run and the long run. Think about how you would feel when you achieve them. Think about what is waiting for you at the peak of your mountain. Then build those checkpoints and take it one step at a time.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

So 2021 goals or not, spend some time digging deep into yourself. Ask yourself what would you do for that life you always dreamed of?