5 Lessons Living in Brazil Taught Me About Embracing My Kinky Curls
Tags: Brazil, Beauty, Self Love, Travel, Black Women

When moving abroad to a foreign country, most people have concerns about language barriers, navigating a new city, making friends and missing home. But as a 19-year-old Black girl used to biweekly trips to the salon, all I could think was, “what am I going to do with my hair?” Every Black woman knows the struggle of finding a stylist who can do “Black-girl hair,” and though I made a decision not to refer to my hair as “nappy” a long time ago and embrace the gift of kinky-curly hair, dealing with it without the benefit of my usual local beauty supply store with all my familiar products was enough to almost make me want to cry.

I had heard of the blend of cultures in Brazil, a country with the largest population of Afro-descended people in Latin America, and had chosen to study there to increase the chances of encountering people who looked like me, but even the Brazilian girls on Google who had skin like me, my mom, or my cousins, all had these big, defined, uniform curls that all seems to scream “wash-and-go.”

Like most things that scare us in life, the leap of faith to move to Rio changed my hair journey forever, for a million reasons, but after trying a million different products and processes to find some sort of hair miracle, what I actually found were some concrete ways to embrace my own hair.

1. Work with what you’ve got.

One of the first lessons I learned living in Rio de Janeiro is that finding out where to buy “hair grease” in Portuguese is a lot more complicated than a simple google translate. Moving abroad anywhere changes the access you have to your favorite products, and it can be discouraging when your hair suddenly starts acting out or going into withdrawal. If you’re going to make it out of the dark hole of despair and start having more good hair days, you’re going to have to be flexible. Until I found brazilian hair products that worked for me, the grocery store became my beauty supply, mixing up my own concoctions like mango-avocado hair masks in my kitchen.

2. Find hair inspo that reflects your hair.

It was hard for me not to feel a little held back by my hair when I was comparing myself to the carefree carioca girls diving into the ocean off Arpoador Rock, with loose curls that seemed to dry perfectly detangled and in place. Comparison truly is the thief of joy, but it’s natural to want to look like what you see most; that’s why representation is so important! While you may not be able to change the entire media landscape, or even your immediate environment, you have complete control of what you consume on social media, so seek out influencers with hair like your own! If you’re looking at pictures on instagram all day of sleek straight hair and you have an afro, it’s tempting to feel that yours isn’t beautiful; your hair diet isn’t just what products you put on it. The more you feed yourself images of women confidently rocking hair just like yours, the more confident you’ll become in rocking your own crown!

3. Understand your hair will change!

After about five months without a blowout, and the mounting stress of making myself look presentable in 100 degree humidity, I began to accept that keeping my hair straight in Brazil was impossible. Still, with a natural texture that was heat-damaged, dehydrated, and very weak, I hated the scraggly damaged strands that sat atop my head, taunting me in the way that only our worst hair days can. We’ve all been at the bottom of a spiral crying in front of a mirror with scissors and a glass of wine contemplating the unthinkable, and while sometimes the big chop can be therapeutic and even healthy, it’s not always necessary. It can be tempting to feel like our hair is hopeless, and absolutely beyond saving, but we have to remind ourselves that that’s not true. When recovering from big processes like chemicals, heat damage, etc. a little bit of patience can save you years of regret. Our hair is like a plant; sometimes pruning is necessary but often times a little bit of TLC can be just the thing to turn it around. Almost none of us have the same head of hair we had in high school, whether it’s length, color or even curl pattern, so keep that in mind when you feel all hope is lost.

4. Learn your own hair.

Sounds pretty obvious, but experience is truly the greatest teacher, and my time in Brazil forced me to get very hands-on with my own scalp. When you’re used to having someone else do your hair for you, it’s easy to leave all the heavily lifting to the professionals. I had no idea whether my hair was fine or thick, porous or not. Much like any relationship, the more I learned about my hair, the more I found out what it was capable of and the more I began to love my coils. Many times when we find ourselves hating our hair, it’s because it surprises us; we have a bad hair day the morning before a big interview; we can’t recreate a style we saw on the internet; or everyone else’s magical miracle product does absolutely nothing for us. When you know your hair, these things happen less and less. Something about putting the time in with your hair and understanding her favorite foods, when she needs some rest, or what conditions she prefers gives you space to allow her to thrive, and to let yourself truly enjoy the hair you have.

5. Give yourself permission to be different

Like most cities in Brazil, having an alisamento, or straightening treatment, is almost mandatory living in Copacabana. Almost every hair complaint this side of the Amazon River can be solved with some sort of chemical process to get the stereotypical Gisele Bündchen tresses. While Rio’s reputation for being beauty-obsessed isn’t entirely inaccurate, it’s not the only place with beauty norms; even the recent surge of the natural hair movement in the U.S. comes with its own set of rules and expectations. The pressure to be heat-free, chemical-free, or whatever can make it seem like there are all these unwritten rules, and subconsciously makes us feel guilty if what our hair needs (or what we like) falls outside of that scope. Accepting that no two hair routines are identical alleviated so much of the guilt I felt for deviating from that status quo, and liberated me to truly experiment and enjoy my hair regimen. The ultimate goal here is health, and much like the diet choices we make, no one lifestyle works for everyone. If you can keep your hair healthy with a relaxer, go for it! If you don’t have the energy to deal with styling it every day, and would rather wear a wig, stand in that! The only non-negotiable is deep conditions.

Finding my way with my hair has been a lot like finding my way in the world; I take a little bit from everywhere I’ve been, put my own spin on it, and wear it as confidently as I can until I have another idea. The good news is that confidence doesn’t come from a good head of hair — a good head of hair can be cultivated from confidence.