The 7 things I learned when I used Design Sprint methods to help my kids plan for my wife’s birthday
By: Justin Mertes
Tags: Family, Facilitation, UX, Workshops, Design Sprints

The 7 things I learned when I used Design Sprint methods to help my kids plan for my wife’s birthday Justin Mertes Follow Jul 1 · 4 min read

If you’ve never heard of Design Sprints, you can learn more here or read the book.

Today is my wife’s 30th birthday, and I wanted our two “older” kids to be involved (sorry 1-year-old son, maybe when you’re older). At 4 and 2 years old, they’re full of fun, thoughtful, imaginative ideas… so I used Design Sprint activities to help them plan and execute a fun birthday morning.

The one gift my wife will NEVER get from me is my ceasing from wearing visors.

The steps:

Get mom out of the house (a birthday gift in itself).

Ask kids to list as many possible ideas of gifts, decorations, and birthday ideas

I write them down & draw a picture on stickies—they cannot read, so drawing helps identify what’s what. (Bonus, let the 4-year-old draw the ones she wants to!)

Stick them on the wall

Give the kids dots and ask them to vote on their favorites (who expected “toothbrush” getting votes over “lamp?” Not me!)

Finalize the ideas

Put them on a calendar (the “Birthday Board,” which was soon covered in festive ribbons & colors)

Hide the Birthday Board

Check the Birthday Board every day, and accomplish each day’s task

Celebrate with mom on her birthday!

The Lessons & Application

1. Most critically, it gave our children a voice.

As their dad, I have the position to empower them to use their voice, and subsequently to validate their ideas… or to force them to comply with my suggestions and obey. It’s easy to be efficient, but more beautiful to act and plan as a family.

Fortunately, “toys” received no votes.

2. It gave them ownership.

Because they had a voice, they were actively committed to the vision we set forth. Every morning for the past two weeks, the girls anxiously slid out the Birthday Board with great excitement to see what our to-do list was for the day—it would’ve been much harder to keep them focused on the vision if it was my vision that I forced upon them.

The Birthday Board, soon to be stepped and drooled on by their younger brother.

3. It taught them about the good hard work of hospitality and intentionality.

They weren’t clueless bystanders at this morning’s birthday breakfast when they saw fresh homemade donuts… they were proud contributors! They helped pick the colorful donut molds, bought the ingredients, spent an hour making the donuts with me (with mom yet again banished from the house) and, of course, licking the batter (so. much. licking.)

Who has the gall to take several bites out of that sprinkled donut and then put 👏 it 👏 back👏?!

4. I was surprised by their ideas and thought processes.

They suggested a “fancy flowery hat,” “a toothbrush,” and “coloring 30 hearts,” among other things. Though we couldn’t find a “flowery hat,” I had fun hearing what was on their mind. It helped me love them more and cherish their unique perspective.

Note that the ice-cream cones are triple-scoop. Brilliant!

5. It taught them about limits & prioritization.

“We cannot get both fingernail polish and finger paints. You have to choose.” It seems small but it teaches them that more ≠ better, something we work hard to teach at home.

…it would’ve been much harder to keep them focused on the vision if it was my vision that I forced upon them.

6. It helped them own the ideas I had.

I knew I’d take my wife on a date today, which means babysitter puts them to bed, not us. Instead of springing that on them as “my executive decision” (which may or may not result in tears, depending on the mood) it became a part of “our birthday plan for mom” that they had time to plan for and become excited for.

7. My wife was delighted because it meant something more.

I had my own plan for what my wife’s birthday would be. It was fine…but fine isn’t “delightful.” Opening nail polish that was ideated, purchased, wrapped, and placed by her children, and seeing their proud smiles and hearing how excited they are to paint their nails together… that’s “delightful.”

Not pictured: me celebrating that the donut molds are dishwasher safe.

In closing

Involving my children has made it more special for them, for me, and for my wife. It applies at home, and it applies at work: when you bring the right people to the table*, ask for their opinions, give them an equal opportunity to be a part of the solution, and involve them in the process, the results are far more delightful and valuable than they would've been if you did it all on your own.

*breakfast or office