Signs You Have a Borderline Personality Disorder:
By: Olivia Fletter
Tags: Borderline Personality, Self Love, This Happened To Me, Self-awareness, Mental Health

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Borderline Personality Disorder

Note that a Borderline Personality Disorder requires a medical diagnosis, either by a psychiatrist or therapist. I am neither of those.

I am, however, diagnosed with a Borderline Personality disorder. Over the years my therapists have recognized flaws in my thinking patterns and behaviors that indicate a personality defect.

As a result of my BPD, my ability to keep close friendships is impaired. I fight with my friends, as I am often jealous and feeling left out. I question the intentions of others and sometimes doubt their loyalty. Except for Mary Jane, she is always there for me.

I entertain men whose only desires are sex and drugs. Forget marriage. Forget children. Forget intimacy.

I’m intrigued by the threat, rather than afraid. I seem to welcome chaos and trouble with open arms as if I have nothing to lose. I am aware this is self-sabotage.

But with professional help, I have identified my symptoms, and it's only through education and maturity that I recover.

Did you know that mood disorders are the most common cause of hospitalization in the U.S. under age 45?

The National Institute of Mental Illness estimates that nearly 50% of individuals with severe psychiatric disorders are receiving no treatment, that’s approximately 3.5 million people.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness defines Borderline Personality Disorder as difficulty regulating emotion. This difficulty leads to severe mood swings, impulsivity and instability, poor self-image, and stormy personal relationships.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder:

A person with a personality disorder may see things as very black and white. The individual has an ‘all or nothing’ personality. In severe, chronic stages, the individual will identify another person as either all bad, and no good, or all good until a flaw becomes evident, and then the individual is deemed all bad. A person with BPD emotions is hot and cold with their emotions. Known to be codependent on others and a constant fear of abandonment by family and friends. A person with a personality disorder may be afraid to open up and get too close to another individual for fear being their true self will drive them away. Chronic relationship problems, drama in friendships, difficulty maintaining healthy friendships, and relationships.

4. Struggles with sexuality. May identify as gay or bisexual.

5. A person with a personality disorder generally lacks self-esteem and the confidence to be themselves. They hate the way their body looks, they’re always putting pressure on themselves to be skinny, but are insecure regardless.

6. Increased risk for self-harm, including cutting and burning, and suicide attempts.

7. Self sabotages and self-destructive behaviors.

8. Feelings of emptiness and worthlessness.

9. Uses drugs and alcohol on a regular basis to cope with life stressors.

Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment

Therapeutic and psychiatric interventions are scheduled on a regular basis. Inpatient treatment may be required during episodes. There are no specific psychiatric medications to treat BPD. Mood stabilizers such as lithium and Lamictal are commonly prescribed for personality disorders, although I never felt like they did much for me. Instead, my therapist and I are considering trying EMDR therapy to help me cope with my disorder and past traumas that still feel real.

If you can identify with the symptoms I list above, it may be a sign that you too should seek professional help. We must make peace with ourselves before change can occur in our lives.

Language of Liv