3 ideas to remember self-empathy when you feel stuck
Tags: Stuck, Ideas, Empathy, Conflict, Self-awareness

3 ideas to remember self-empathy when you feel stuck

By Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

With all the challenges of the year, sometimes all we need is a break.

A break from it all.

To give yourself the permission to give yourself the time and space to just decompress and do nothing. With the pressures building up from all parts of life, it can be easy to get mentally, emotionally, and physically drained from it all. Sometimes it’s useful to just disengage and let yourself just be. Free of the judgment and expectations to just be. The freedom to do what you what and when you want.

It can be so tiring to go through daily struggles. If you’re going through something, know that it’s ok.

It’s ok to feel great on days where you may feel like you ‘should’ be feeling well. You may not want to do the things that you ‘should’ be doing to keep a healthy lifestyle and that’s ok.

I’ve had to keep reminding myself that I’m here to keep showing up for myself and advocate for myself, even if others don’t like it. Think about it, if you don’t advocate for yourself, who will? It’s a challenging process to go against the grain and even more challenging when the triggers come up. It’s been so easy, almost habitual, to keep giving my energy and attention to the things and the people that I can’t change. Slowly, through gradual steps, I remind myself that I need to serve my own inner spirit and protect my own inner child.

I know that there are others who can relate and I also know that there are others who just want to avoid doing the inner work completely. I’ve learned that I just have to keep doing what I resonate with, even if there are others who don’t understand and may never understand. It’s ok.

In times of conflict, I have to keep giving myself the security and comfort that I need, even if it makes the other person and if he/she doesn’t understand. I have to keep doing that for me and showing up for myself, not the other person. I have to keep reminding myself to put myself up on a pedestal instead of putting the other person on the pedestal and remind myself that I am enough in times of intense conflict.

Dealing with conflict isn’t always easy and there are those who choose to avoid the conflict and that works for them. I’ve found that working through the conflict (as much as possible) has been helpful. I’ve chosen to work through things through a safe environment and the moment that I don’t feel safe, I remind myself that I have the option to find another way. As a mentor said to me this week, I have a choice to choose the path that I want to take. Instead of being pushed in a direction, I can remember to utilize words such as “I choose” to tap into self-empowerment. It’s the smallest things that can shift how I choose to see things. I’m grateful for the reminders and the execution of how these reminders were delivered.

Here are 3 ideas to consider in highly stressful times:

Ask yourself what you really need. What is it that you truly need in this moment? Sometimes, instead of continuing to state my perspective when the other person is clearly not listening and doesn’t want to listen, it can be an option to just dis-engage. It’s tempting to want to ‘win’ the argument, and it also be a moment of healing to save me from giving more of my energy to someone else. Let go of the judgment around how you think you ‘should’ react. Embracing the perfectly imperfect notion of just letting things be as they are. Sometimes situations are not ideal and that’s ok. As long as I know that I’ve done my best to show up for myself in any given situation, I can give myself some grace and know that I have done the best with the resources that I have. And sometimes, letting go of how I think things should be can be so freeing. Remember that I am a work-in-progress. I forget to give myself credit for taking action and doing the things that I need to do for myself. Sometimes, self-advocating isn’t the easiest and it can cause a lot of questioning and doubt. And in these moments, I have to remember that I’m doing right by myself no matter what the result. Sometimes my impact isn’t always immediately felt and realized and I have to remember that is ok.

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