How to Stop Feeling Jealous of Your Friends
By: Maclin Lyons
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Life, Self, Friendship

Stop making it about you.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I’m sure most of us have been there. Your friend gets a promotion at work and after saying congratulations, you feel a slight pull in your heart that makes you question your own career.

You see another friend get engaged while you’re still struggling to find a committed relationship. Of course you’re happy for her, but then you feel like you’ll be alone forever.

It can be difficult to manage supporting your friends’ accomplishments without analyzing your own life in comparison. It’s normal. We are the star of our own show so of course we like to throw ourselves into every scenario.

Once you take yourself out of the equation and realize that your friend’s success has nothing to do with you, it’s easier not to feel jealous. If they have it, then it was never yours and whatever is yours will only be for you.

I always tell myself that what’s meant for me will be for me. Everyone is on their own journey, you included.

I used to pursue an acting career and would always feel myself get so jealous when another friend booked a role. It was hard for me to feel happy for them if wasn’t currently working on something.

What’s crazy is that I’d feel jealous of those actors who looked nothing like me and acted nothing like me so I usually never even got the auditions they did. And yet, I was still jealous.

How could I be jealous of an opportunity that never would have come my way anyway? Once I realized how ridiculous I was being, it was easier to stop feeling that way.

Usually, the jealousy comes from just wanting the success and happiness that comes from great news. We all want to feel accomplished. We all want to be happy so if we’re not, then someone else’s good fortune just hits us a little harder.

If you feel like you need a win and are feeling a little down about your situation, it can be hard to celebrate your friends if they are doing great.

I understand how you can feel that way, but try channeling those emotions into taking action toward whatever your goal is. Instead of being envious of your married friends, try to actively date people who are looking for a committed relationship. Try asking your friend who got a promotion what the process was like and maybe use that advice to improve your own work performance.

If you feel like you’re on track to get what you want, maybe you won’t feel so inclined to compare yourself to others.

Minding your own business can help you be sincerely happy about someone else’s. You can genuinely cheer them on because while you’re on the sidelines of their win, you know you’ve got your own game to play.

Let go of the negative energy that jealousy brings. It only holds you back and doesn’t serve you in any way. It keeps you from progressing and from living in the moment of your friend’s success.

Use your successful friends as motivation and be happy that you’ve surrounded yourself with people who you admire. If they make you feel like you want to do better or be better, then you’ve got a good circle of friends.

Don’t be jealous. Instead, be proud and supportive. Celebrate their wins, because you’ll want someone around to celebrate yours.