The World’s Largest Yard Sale is Coming
By: Jeff Swystun
Tags: Marketing, Yard Sale, Sales, Consumerism, Pop Culture

When Covid-19 is behind us and we gather again, when habits and traditions return. When we look around our homes, well then, something impressive will happen. Something historic. Recent events make it difficult to predict with any confidence, yet I am convinced this phenomenon will take place. It will be unmatched, never to be equaled.

Post the pandemic, prepare yourself to experience the most astounding wave of garage sales ever to be seen.

Think about it. We are well into a year of accumulation without the routine jettisoning. This is an extended period of purchases, we would not otherwise have contemplated. Our anxiety, expressed and ranging from fear to boredom, has us filling up our dwellings in unimagined ways. I dare you to open up a closet or glimpse into your garage and debate this fact.

Consider solely the sales of dumbbells. On eBay alone, during the lockdown, sales increased 1,980 percent compared to 2019. Yoga accessories climbed 154 percent. We have been tripping on yoga mats and stubbing toes on dumbbells ever since. Comparatively, yoga clothing sales are flat because we don’t care how we look.

Board games and puzzles have been snapped up like it was the 1950’s. Puzzles hitting historic sales highs. Amazon ships thousands and thousands of Jenga and Connect4 games. Many of us went on archaeological digs and unearthed games forgotten in storage and not played in years. Once dusted off, we discovered that the Battleship gameboard had no battleships. Suspiciously, the box holding Clue was missing the wrench, sparing Professor Plum from ever being killed in the library. What did we do? We bought the game again.

As we shut ourselves inside, nostalgia crept into our collective psyche, took hold, and influenced waves of retro buying. Classic toys, from Gumby to Etch a Sketch, have made astonishing comebacks. Tonka’s Mighty Dump Truck is, once again, a hit. Just as it was when I pushed one around the shag carpet of my family’s living room in 1970.

Second lives have been granted to older brands. Barbie, Hot Wheels, Lite-Brite and Care Bears were reawakened. Parents, not children, steer the ultimate purchase decision. Recalling only their fond memories of childhood, moms and dads attempt to de-digitalize their offspring while actively partaking. Spending on movie theatres, ballgames, and journeys is dramatically curtailed allowing families to join in the game of Life, acquire Monopoly property, and Risk world domination.

Traditional play is the name of the game. Lego, already a huge seller, tugs at heartstrings and is bought up in larger lots. This has accelerated the company’s plans to wean itself off plastic pieces in favour of more sustainable materials. Lego, like many toys, transcends generations. Rubik’s Cubes, Play-Doh, and the Slinky found new homes, turning households into live action Toy Story movie sets.

The quirky too, has rallied. A friend shared the growth of his Chia Pet. A series of Instagram posts revealing emerald green sprouts spreading swiftly. The pet was in the shape of Bob Ross, the beloved public television painter, whose trademark afro perm harkens back to a placid time. It makes me wonder if anyone is pampering a Pet Rock, raising Sea Monkeys, or perfecting the hula hoop.

These by-gone past times nurture and console. The return to tactile distractions and human interaction is positive. However, tech toys cannot be denied. Alexa is now a companion to many, but we wonder if she is a confidant or corporate spy. Video games transport players to other worlds, the Nintendo Switch selling like hot cakes. Speaking of cakes, amateur bakers have loaded up on multitudes of muffin tins, piles of pans, and bundles of baking sheets.

It’s gratifying to produce a loaf of bread or tray of cookies. Sales of bread machines have put yeast and flour supplies under pressure. We all want our hearth wafting with warm and soothing aromas. Seeing something delicious rise before our eyes is an important form of self-expression. Doughy malleability is tangible, not to mention fulfilling and filling.

Art and crafts have exploded. Sewing machines and knitting needles with fabric and yarn are experiencing an amazing home economic revival. Both activities, not only calming, they are considered cool. Craftiness takes many forms and, for a few of us, ambitions soar. One gentleman proved extra dedicated. He bought a harp kit from Etsy, built the instrument, and set about learning to play Claude Debussy’s “Clair de Lune.”

The necessity of home offices prompted a surge in the purchase of computers and accessories. Counters and other surfaces resemble elaborate trading desks. Monitors, scanners and printers are staples along with staplers, tape dispensers, and organizers. Loveseats and end tables were pushed aside, replaced with desks and chairs to create the domestic version of a cubicle.

Pet accessories, not to mention pets, are extremely popular. Puppy and dog crates along with safety gates cordon and segment homes. Growing up, our family dog was lucky to get a collar, chipped bowl, and old tennis ball. This past year, owners treated their canine therapists to plush beds, extravagant chew toys, and deluxe feeders. Owners spend more time dressing pets than investing in their own appearance. A popular item for Rover and Lassie was the faux fire hydrant backyard pee station.

The yard, if you are fortunate to have one, was freshly dotted with inflatable pools, patio and lawn furniture, playsets, slip ‘n slides, trampolines, badminton nets, bouncy houses, and the all-important barbecue. Water wings and water pistols helped complete the tableau. A patch of grass is a precious oasis. Tiki bar themes popped up in an attempt to fashion prolonged, semi-exotic staycations.

Cycling provides much needed freedom. So much so, that bikes and protective equipment have been in low-to-no supply. People were forced to wear hockey and ski helmets. Many were re-acquainted with getting the damn chain back on. Treadmills, cycles, ellipticals and rowing machines outfitted with technology for streaming workouts, have been prioritized and granted precious space. How else are we to work off all that bread?

Garage sales have long included the same unwanted, rejected, and cast-off stuff. The items apparently compulsory, seemingly mandated. It is not a garage sale if you do not feature worn lawn furniture, blackened bake pans, dented Tonka trucks, broken badminton racquets, incomplete puzzles, flat-tired bikes, mismatched Lego and, of course, ubiquitous rusty dumbbells.

Oddly, this is our pandemic shopping list and that is why momentous garage sales loom just around the corner. The vastest and grandest ever to be seen. Where, in one place, you can buy a bread machine, board game, dog crate, treadmill, harp, and Etch a Sketch. It will be historic and nostalgic. I’ll see you there. Oh, bring your own bags.