Half-way Through my 64th Year, What Does it All Mean?
By: Sylvia Clare Msc. Psychol
Tags: Love, Women, Feminism, Aging, Self

I mean, I am that surprised that I did get here, right. I never thought I would — not really. Me! Old! Well, not even old, just older, mature perhaps. It’s not the old that surprises me, but that I am still alive.

Being a woman at this age really rocks. No more periods, menopause done and dusted, contraception not necessary. Whoopee!

No children living at home these days: I love them as much as ever, but they are great as visitors nowadays.

There’s time to sit and write and knit and garden and bee-keep and politic to my heart's content. What a total revelation and freedom.

As a child, I was not wanted by my parents and made to know that at least weekly. Feeling that I had a right to stay alive was a struggle for many years, and there were times when I didn’t think I’d make it.

I am slightly over 64-and-a-half now, so on the countdown to 65. and I have learned a lot in those years.

Whilst this is not especially old nowadays, it is not so young either. I will not go quietly, so to speak.

A Time for Beginnings

Me holding a ballet pose while my teacher took this photo and then gave me feedback on how I did. She really makes me laugh but I love it and she is making me into a dancer — goodness knows how though.

In the last year I have taken up learning ballet for the first time and I am working towards my grade three, nothing spectacular but very good for trimness and strength — wow is it good for strength in your legs and feet! No worries about those old age falling problems to come, I hope.

I have also taken up regular sea swimming all year round. Today it was about 9 C and I lasted around five minutes. Once you get in it is easiest just to keep swimming until your muscles get too tired, which doesn’t take long when they are deprived of blood due to capillary close-down against hypothermia. But the warm-up is great. It’s funny to feel yourself warming up from the outside while you are colder inside — for a while — then the inner catches up to the outer and you feel like you could conquer the world.

The third thing I have started is a comedy poetry and music duo with my husband. We don’t only do comedy, there’s some serious stuff too. In fact, we hope there’s a range of emotions to explore in two hours. We have our first gig in ten days and still have to sort out what we are doing. We’re not winging it, that is for sure. Between us, we have more than enough poems and songs, so I’m not too worried. It is just a matter of choosing the themes we want to cover; poems about chocolate, of course, love, feminism, nature and the nature of life, spiritual reflections, political injustices are just some of the many options. We both cover all those themes, so we can be completely complementary to each other. He will back me musically and I shall add close harmonies to his songs. We are a duo, a couple, a partnership and [happy to be] sharing of our respective talents. And we shall probably chat a bit and share our own particular brand of humour with the audience.

The Learning Never Ends

I have learned more than 64 things in my life, though. I have also had more gifts in my life than I can possibly count, mostly in the second half, and certainly more than 64. And, I have had a lot more than 64 adventures in my life.

My body has also died at least three times in this life, so what does this 64 years of age represent. Years lived?

Yet I am ageless. I know this to be true.

Now I am 64, I am living on the Isle of Wight — as the Beatles wrote all those years ago at a time when I had never even visited the place. My life has transformed several times over, too. It is unrecognisable from where it started out. It really has been an adventure.