Positive Juice: Something Right About Being Wrong
By: M.B. Saniel
Tags: Self Improvement, Positive Thinking, Life Lessons, Positivity, Life

“Error”. You might have already encountered this word, specifically, when your strict college professor was searching for statistical data of your thesis results. A memory you just want to forget, right? Don’t worry, this is not a scientific paper. But you know, in research, errors are normal. As a matter of fact, having no errors is relatively unusual, suspicious, and sometimes — even funny. Being absolutely accurate about something can be quite difficult to achieve, and for some cases, IMPOSSIBLE.

So why am I talking about errors?

Few days ago, I was scrolling through my social media feeds and came across a post saying, “One of the worst things that could happen in the middle of an argument is when you realized that you are actually wrong.” A bit funny, right? Nobody wants to be wrong. Even if one already realizes that, he/she will find clever ways to justify that he/she is right. Whatever it takes. Some are talented like that. You might have done this at one point as well. No matter. It does not change the fact that, sometimes, we can be absolutely wrong. Or in other words, whether you like it or not, we just can never be always right.

So, why are we so afraid of being wrong? When it is normal?

I will give you some possible reasons why. 1) We associate it with failure. 2) We start thinking that we might have some mental defects. 3) We are afraid of being judged in this “perfect” world. 4) We strive for perfection with our intergalactic standards. Who is guilty of some of these? No one? Maybe, it is just me then. Bottom-line, being wrong feels TERRIBLE. And at times, we regard it as something permanent.

Since childhood, every time we get a poor score on some test, it makes us feel defeated, ashamed, and insecure. I mean, you cannot even stand to look at it for too long like your fear of looking at people with sore eyes. You just don’t need that kind of negativity, right? So, you crumple it and before you know it, it’s travelling in a projectile motion until gravity finally rests it on — surprise, surprise — the GARBAGE CAN. We just throw it away and hope our depressing feelings will be gone with it as well. To some extent, that piece of paper sometimes even serves as our identity. We are being judged by numbers or for others, letters. And so, we hide it together with our broken confidence. You see, we are programmed to do things perfectly. There is nothing wrong with that. But, how about being programmed to handle otherwise as well? We also need that.

I am not a psychologist, therapist, or some behavioral expert but I can relate to what you are feeling simply because we are just the same — people who just want to make ourselves and our lives perfect and happy, whatever that means for every one of us. We want to think and do things right all the time. This fear of messing up that initially drives us to perform and be the best version of us may go the other way and lead to egoism and arrogance instead, if not careful. Anyway, what I can share to you as someone just like you is that, I have been in that position too for several times with various people. Being exposed in the research environment gives you the privilege to meet brilliant minds. Intimidating but, brilliant. It is just not hard to be in a position where you can be wrong. And, it took several wrongs for me to actually feel right about it. Ironic, isn’t it? Forgiving yourself for falling short of your own expectations and others can be so difficult and depressing. But, setting aside all the negatives now (unless you want to keep it), let’s talk about the positive juice of being wrong.

Being wrong allows us to find again within us a sense of humility. It allows us to improve ourselves through every correction we welcome so we can become better and wiser individuals for the next millisecond. Because for every wrong, there is a corresponding right. Thus, logically, every time we’re wrong, we can subsequently gain something right, right? It is something we can take with us but only if we allow it. It can be quite challenging to see the silver lining in the clouds of fear, but, at least, being wrong is not something we experience alone, if that provides any consolation. Just like the song lyrics say, “Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.” The moment you realize you’re apparently wrong, you should probably just have to say it. If you can joke about it, then you’ve just become the coolest person ever. Nothing messes things up more than proving you’re right when everybody already thinks you’re wrong. It is time to listen.

Committing mistakes is inevitable and universal. There are mistakes we can easily admit and some with difficulty. But the fact that you are open for it already says something exquisite about you because if you think you are right all the time could be dangerous also, not to mention, annoying. Do you agree?

Your ability of not being able to receive new information may cause people to lose interest talking with you because you will probably make them feel as if their beliefs, no matter how true and sensible they are, are worthless. Imagine that with someone who thinks they are right all the time. You see, admitting you’re wrong requires an act of bravery and not all can do it. It takes a great deal of honesty, maturity, and humility to accept and utter these rather simple but beautiful words, “You’re right. I was wrong.” Not only you are able to acknowledge other people’s contribution but allowed yourself to become a better human being. Just as another popular saying goes, “You learn nothing from life if you think you’re right all the time.”

Lastly, before I end this, I believe that our hesitance to admit we’re wrong stems from the struggle to maintain our rather already wavering self-confidence. But, I also believe, that true self-confidence isn’t measured when everything is right. It is when something is wrong but you are able to receive, reflect, and renew your understanding with dignity for you know, that accepting that temporary state of wrongness would lead to a permanent state of rightness. Stay classy.

“…accepting that temporary state of wrongness would lead to a permanent state of rightness.”