Becoming a better man
By: Mao Mao
Tags: Motivation, Productivity, Depression, Digital Art, Painting

There is always a point in the life of a boy where he have to become a man and stop being a boy. It’s really a natural process than can be painful but it’s a beautiful experience to have.

A mother that gives birth to a child knows that if she doesn’t let him go, the child will die. As painful as it is, it has to be done. And the same happens when you reach a certain age and you want to become a man. The mother also needs to let go his son, otherwise he will suffer.

At some point in our life, we will experience events that will serve as a wake up call and make us tell to ourselves “i have enough of this, it won’t happen to me again and I will make sure of it”. Those events are usually important moments in your life like the loss of a loved one, a breakup with your significant other, a missed opportunity in your career, or an embarrassing event where you felt completely bad and you wish you were a better person in order to avoid that situation.

Whatever it is, every man have two options. You either embrace it, and take consistent action towards fixing yourself and becoming a better person. Or you blame others for what had happened to you and get depressed to the point you just give up in life. When something like that happens, we get an insane amount of energy to make a change in our life. It is a wake up call. And that energy can be positive, or negative. It depends on us whether we use it to transform ourselves and grow, or use it to stay more time in the bar crying and whining about our failures in life.

Your life can be divided into two phases. The phase where you let others take control over your future, and the phase where you took charge and become responsible to everything that happens into your life. When the last happens, this is when life starts. Because life is change and what doesn’t change dies. And after you start taking action, you will start changing little by little. You will start feeling alive and in no time, people won’t even recognize who you are in the present.

It is all about taking action towards the things you want to improve in your life that you are afraid of improving. For artists, becoming a better artist is not the only thing that can be improved. You can also become a better father, a better man, a better lover, a better human being. And that change will translate into everything you do in life, including your career.

Whenever we fear something, that is an indicator that we need to do something about it. If you fear of approaching a group of strangers and start a conversation with them, that is exactly what you need to do. Because fear can only be cured by action, and by taking action you become more confident. And what is confidence? Confidence is nothing more than being really good at something by doing it repeatedly. Confidence comes from competence. And fear is just an illusion. Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is what is stopping you from becoming the person you truly are inside. Because we have been conditioned since we were kids to have limiting beliefs like “don’t talk to strangers” or “you are not good enough”. Any belief can be challenged by action, and by taking action you will get an answer, an answer than will be more powerful than anything because it becomes your own experience.

When you look to experience many things in life, everything that is now part of you comes from something real and not a limiting belief, like something you heard before on a TV show.

Being a man, ultimately translates into someone who goes for what he wants in life, despise the dangers or consequences that could happen. And in order to do that, you need to become dominant. And being dominant is in your nature, you just need to practice it enough. It is just hidden by layers of social conditioning. By becoming dominant you make other people feel safe to you and more approachable. You no longer have to live with fear, you know that you can get any result you want if you work on it.

Being dominant means, that you are not a being a people pleaser. You will not change yourself, or act in a way that is not natural to you because you want other’s people’s approval. If you like to watch cartoons, or horror movies, or listen to heavy metal or whatever it is that you like. You need to be proud of it and don’t hide it. You need to come from a place of “This is who i am, and I am not changing for you even if you don’t like it”. And some people will leave, because they don’t like that part of you, and some people will stay. And even if they leave or reject you, they will still respect you because you are authentic and you are standing up for yourself. And those who stay, will stay with you for who you really are.

And that gives you confidence, it makes you feel safe, it makes you feel good, and ultimately you start becoming the person who you really want to be in life. You start becoming authentic. And an authentic person will always be a gift to others.