Choosing Real Tyranny Over the Unfounded Fear of Gun Control
By: Walter Rhein
Tags: Racism, BlackLivesMatter, Politics, Family, Guns

Choosing Real Tyranny Over the Unfounded Fear of Gun Control

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Throughout the election season, I have been having conversations with a cousin who leans conservative. At times, I thought I made progress with his thinking. We’d reach a shaky agreement, but then he’d go back to his echo chamber social group, and the next time I saw him it would be like we were back at square one. I’d have to start again, debunking myths and lies that were easy to verify as false.

It becomes exhausting to wade through a sea of lies. After four years of it, I don’t have any patience left. To make matters worse, people will tell you lies with the entitled misconception that you have some obligation to sit silently and listen as they spew nonsense. If you interrupt and stop them, they feel they have the right to become offended. Frankly, I’m tired of being forced into the position of being the bigger man.

My children are biracial. I showed my cousin Trump’s “White Power” tweet and he admitted that it was terrible. I told him in no uncertain terms that my wife and daughters have suffered increased hostility as a direct result of this administration. My cousin insisted that if he was ever in my presence and my children were threatened, he’d defend them. I believe he was sincere. However, after my last conversation with him, I don’t think we’ll be talking again.

They know not what they do

My cousin enjoys sitting back with a bottle of brandy and calling up his friends. He called me the other night just to check in and share some of the things that were on his mind. Although the conversation started out cordial it took a decidedly unpleasant turn.

We are currently in a constitutional crisis. Trump won’t admit that he lost the election. Despite his claims, he has brought forth no evidence of voter fraud. The results have been certified and the electoral college has confirmed Biden’s victory. Yet there are still people who think they are maintaining a balanced view because they want to see how this “plays out.”

The most terrifying part of what’s happening is that the individuals who are attacking the Constitution steadfastly believe that they are defending it. They think they’re being reasonable, and they become hurt if you try to intervene and demonstrate the error and danger of their thinking. This would all be much easier if the enemy was a marauding gang of goblins. Instead, the enemy is made up of our neighbors, friends, and relatives.

The pen controversy

My cousin started tiptoeing around the topic of voter fraud. “When I went in to vote,” he said, “they handed me a Bic pen. In every other election, they’ve always handed me a felt pen. So, I asked why they were giving me a Bic pen instead of a felt pen this time. They couldn’t answer. So, after the election, I wrote the White House to tell them about it.”

The story made me grit my teeth, but I had a counter-narrative that I thought should put the issue to bed.

“I voted absentee back in 2016,” I said. “When the ballot came, I called up the Wisconsin elections commission and asked them what I should use to write with. They told me anything was fine, the guy said I could even use a red pen if I wanted, but they preferred black or blue.”

“I’m just saying,” my cousin replied, unconvinced, “why was it different this time?”

I found myself getting angry at his thought process.

“Look,” I said, “if you have an issue, do the work, call up the Wisconsin elections commission and verify whether or not a mistake was made. But don’t make lazy claims. In this case there was no mistake. This is a non-event. This is a non-issue. You shouldn’t tell this story again.”

“But,” he said, “if there’s a question, I need to ask about it.”

“Yes, and once you’ve confirmed that nothing unethical transpired, you need to shut up about it. This lazy implication that you were part of some voter conspiracy is exactly what’s causing the current tension in our country. Your attitude is irresponsible. Don’t you understand that we’re on the verge of civil war because Trump is doing everything he can to stop a peaceful transfer of power? Most recently, there have been reports that he’s been getting advice from the military on how to overturn the results. We’re on the verge of a dictatorship.”

“Well, if he has questions,” my cousin said, “he needs to take them to court.”

“He has! He’s taken his arguments to court, and despite his accusations he’s failed to provide any evidence whatsoever. Most of his cases have been thrown out, even by conservative judges that he appointed himself. It’s over, Trump lost.”

“Well, until they certify…”

“They did certify the election. It’s done.”

“They did?”

“Yes. Trump has gone through every legal means at his disposal. Nobody stopped him. He’s proven nothing. All he’s done is incite the public with vague accusations just like what you’re doing.”

“Well, I wrote the White House…”

“Did they write back? Did they write back and say that what you detailed does not, in fact, represent voter fraud? Did they do anything to assure you that the election was fair? That’s the problem, they’re being irresponsible and they’re inciting violence. There have already been violent protests from Trump supporters out in Oregon and Washington. You could take it upon yourself to take two seconds to call the Wisconsin elections commission, but you’re so intent on finding fraud that you’re too lazy to get proof.”

It came down to guns

About that point in the conversation, he accidentally let it slip that he had voted for Trump. The admission caused a sickening sensation in my stomach. Here was a member of my family, a person who had played with my children. Here was a person whom I had told of the aggressions we’ve endured by pro-Trump activists. In the end, none of that mattered.

“I thought of you guys when I voted for Trump,” he said, “but in the end, I felt I couldn’t support a person who is going to take away my guns. I won’t live under a dictator.”

The ignorance of that statement made me furious.

“You do understand that we’re in a constitutional crisis? Trump has been spending the last few weeks doing everything he can to overthrow a fair democratic election. If he manages to stay in power, we will be living in a dictatorship. He will have destroyed the entire Constitution, including the 2nd amendment, you don’t recognize that?”

“Well, if that happens, then you can come and live with my family down in Kentucky and we’ll protect you.”

“Yeah, I’m going to take my family and move to Kentucky and live with a bunch of armed Trump supporters, who are going to protect me when the government comes for us? That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard in my life. If Trump stays in power, he’ll be a dictator. What’s the first thing a dictator does?”

“They take away the guns.”

“Right. That’s what you’ve chosen instead of an additional week purchasing delay or other reasonable gun control initiatives? That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.”

The ethics of betrayal

I found a reason to get off the phone. Part of me wanted to swear at my cousin. Part of me wanted to cry. I went to bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. My cousin is easily swayed by his older brother. His brother is fully committed to the Trump army. He spews a constant stream of blatant propaganda. In recent memory, I haven’t felt so betrayed as I did when my cousin admitted he voted for Trump. He did so knowing that my family has endured hostility. He knew it and voted that way anyway.

Betraying somebody is bad in itself, but if you’re going to do it, at least have the courtesy not to tell them. Don’t be unfaithful to your spouse and then go home and tell them about it. Have the decency to keep your mouth shut for the sake of at least the appearance of civility.

The worst of it all is that the Democrats aren’t going to take anyone’s guns away. That’s the only thing my cousin ever thought about. It’s such a stupid argument anyway. Does he really believe that one day he’s going to shoot a white supremacist to save one of my children? What if it’s his brother coming at me, is he going to shoot him?

The last call

He knew he’d erred, I could hear it in his voice. He tried to make the promise of some hypothetical defense to cover up the fact that he had just blatantly attacked my children with his vote. A father’s inclination to protect his children is an involuntary response. He’ll be mad and hurt when I cut off contact. He won’t bother to understand what happened. But I can’t talk myself out of not defending my children when I perceive a threat. It would bring me no joy to scream profanities or physically assault my cousin.

He made the choice to stand with the people that would do my family harm. He says he won’t live under a dictator, but that’s exactly what he chose. Choices have consequences. Ignorance is no defense when you give power to a force of oppression.