BEING AND INTROVERT
By: Siya Mulge
Tags: Nonfiction, Creative Non Fiction, Narrative, Narrative Nonfiction, Creative Writing

BEING AND INTROVERT

Let’s go on a trip!” You would hear my mom say one evening.

“Somewhere we can trek!” Claps my sister.

“A museum this time, maybe?” I would say softly.

. Of course, democracy does not feel that good after all when you are supporting a clearly minor group. Voting and speeches done, and we are somehow already climbing a snow clad mountain. As they are skipping ahead like there’s a treasure hidden in their name, I am busy trying to get rid of the mud off my shoes and random thorns off my socks and hair.

Of course, the museums and parks are visited from the bucket list at times, but when you see the bored and ‘why am I even here’ look on their faces, you would just wish you were trekking, destroying more pairs of shoes. And hair. And energy. And sanity. The thing with extroverted parents, you know, is that they just get younger with time. They wanna drive till they cannot, they wanna play tennis till they cannot, and of course, go try weird activities till they realize that they were, in fact, very weird.

The worst thing about being an introvert, is the pressure inflicted upon us to be an extrovert. Introverts, back me up on this, you have to, don’t tell me you haven’t felt like this or gone through this even once.

“How can you sit and read all day?”

“Go out and socialize a bit, that’s good for you!”

“You are literally so quiet!”

“Look at those girls singing and dancing like there’s no tomorrow, go join them! It is okay to go crazy for a night!”

“You know, you shall soon have arthritis.”

Okay, so all the extroverts reading this, cut us introverts some slack. Growing up with an extroverted family was extremely painful at times and fascinating during other times. I exhausted myself to the point where I thought I was no longer capable of walking, like ever. I enjoyed the trek and road trips and the partying, to be vividly honest; but being alone with me in my room gave me true feeling of myself. It gave me strength, almost the same kind extroverts get after attending parties and making new friends. No amount of group chattering can ever equate an hour of reading to me. And about being quiet, I don’t think anyone really cares what I ate last weekend and how much I enjoyed my vacation and how orange ceilings bother me. About dancing and singing, let me enlighten you, there is indeed a tomorrow, where you will be down with headaches.

. Socially awkward? Scared of talking to people? Nah. Small talk just irritates us, I despise small talk, though I guess I have mastered it, considering 90% of the people around me are extroverts. The thing with all these small talks is that they are so forced and practiced, you sometimes do not even bother to listen to what the other person had replied, knowing the answer was practiced, too. You cannot have not ignored a reply saying they are really great when asked how they were doing, right? I mean come on, you didn’t really expect them to really tell you that they aren’t doing well, given your awkward smiles and enthusiasm that does not seem genuine enough. This could be us, or someone talking to us. Oh wait, let me put it in a better way. This is us, and this is someone talking to us.

Do I hate people? Nope. Nada. I love my family and friends dearly, but I would choose a night out with them any day over going out with a ton of people. I prefer talking about movies and books and dogs and hopeless romance over a sore throat. The thrill extroverts get by waking up with a tired body, feeling they are living their lives, is almost the same peace and contentment us introverts get with a couple of old friends and hot chocolate. Extroverts, you guys getting unrested on asked to sit calmly all by yourself, the feeling that you are being disrupted and nobody wants you is really funny; just like us trying to understand and relate all the stuff you guys find so astounding.

I remember waking up and feeling at times, ‘Yeah, today I am going to socialize the way they do. I am going to talk loud, laugh, and coke, have lots of coke. It wasn’t difficult for me, really. Introverts would agree. Socializing isn’t too difficult for us when we want to do so: the exhaustion and the lack of a serene mind is painful. The feeling of not finding ‘me’ is painful. Something more painful than that? Yes. to resist the urge of not punching that overly extroverted person always says, “You have to admit, it was fun and would pick partying anytime over reading or cooking after yesterday.” Ah man, that self-control agony is real.

As of school, remember, how extrovertly activities were always pushed? Groups being made for projects when we could all clearly do a better job alone? The thing is, in school, I barely got a chance to embrace myself, to realize what I really enjoy. Just like most introverts, I grew up in society where introversion is treated like an illness that has to cured, no matter what. To many, introversion meant failure at career and at life, even. Most freedom fighters like Martin Luther King Jr. were introverts. Entrepreneurs like Warren Buffet and Stephen Gary Wozniak are introverts.

Well, guess our worlds shall never settle, and that’s okay, life gets boring without drama and imbecile debates, anyway. Humanity is anyway a lot nicer to watch when you guys crush over every other person who is out of your league while we devote our hearts to fictional characters. After all, there is no value to mountains without the ocean!