Move to your own rhythm
By: Nandita Kaushik
Tags: Midlife, Life Lessons, Youth

Photo by Josh Sorenson on Unsplash

In my younger ages, I did register these words — dance to your own beat, move to your own rhythm, stay true to yourself etc. yet I am not sure if I really understood them and I definitely did not follow them. Life tends to follow a staccato rhythm of its own — we think it is the way of life, yet it is very disjointed and disconnected to who we are inside. However, because we see others follow this path, we shirk the responsibility of owning our true selves and decide it is just easier and less cumbersome to follow in the footsteps of others

The easiest thing is to just blindly adhere to the dictates of society and culture — after all rebellion does take a lot of effort and energy. So, we go to college, again the place, country etc. decided by the ambitions of our parents and if they are generous enough to leave it to us, there is the tremendous pressure of peers — the course, the college, the ambitions are all influenced by the group around us. After all, we all want to look and sound as competent as the other. And then of course, the dice has been cast — the path has been laid for us — work, income, marriage, kids and so on till wisdom dawns, yes you guessed it, at midlife.

Finally, around this time or for some evolved souls even in their mid-30s there is a realization that we have given a lot of our energy, youth, life force away in doing things that did not really resonate with our dreams, that poor, much ignored word that is ridiculed as fluffy, imaginative, non-existent. Yet it hits home hard in the middle ages that we now need to finally recognize that we do have our own rhythm and beat, and we need to drum to it.

It is important to realize very soon in life what is your level of ambition, need for status, your own yearnings or dreams, the extent of passion and drive you have for them and how motivated are you in general. Some of us are like sparks, we quickly get kindled but then get extinguished equally quickly. Others are a slow burn; the embers continue but it takes time for it get impassioned into flames. And then there are yet others who are happy to just daydream and accept that they may not have any traces of fire to make them real.

As wizened souls of society yet still retaining the spirit of our recent youth, maybe we need to guide the youngsters that a healthy existence comes from understanding your own rhythm first, for not taking on the stress of others’ ambitions for you, for not yearning to live beyond your rhythm. Entering into adulthood first and foremost involves taking responsibility for your own level of proactiveness or lack of it and not feeling apologetic about it. The only downside is that you do have to live within the means your rhythm allows you to. Be happy to be a star defined by you, and not the peers and adults around you.

The sooner you can bridge this disconnect between your passion and dreams, the faster will be the recognition of your beat and individuality and acceptance of what really makes you happy. Being responsible does not always mean following the path of life laid by others but being responsible for your own personality, with its laidback or ambitious rhythm. Ask yourself some really hard questions and see the answers that emerge dispassionately and without judgement. Set your own pace, accept your own beat, and then become realistic and responsible for what kind of a drummer you need to be.