The “ANYTHING” Trap
By: Alastair Hill
Tags: Psychology, Choices, Personal Development

Realisations of an overthinker.

I don’t think I’m alone in struggling with problems of thinking too much. Then not knowing how to get out of my own overthinking.

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You can’t do ANYTHING. You can only do SOMETHING.

This is a lesson I think I learned very late in life. It’s the “Anything Trap”. You’re probably familiar with it. It took me a long time to get out my head and realise it for myself.

It’s a bit embarrassing to write about in a way, as it makes me seem a little bit like an ungrateful prick. (“My life is so shit, I have so much choice!”)

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Imagine you have 100 different paths in front of you and you can walk down any one of them. A different destination lies at the end of each path.

You can pick any path.

If you’re uncertain which to choose, feel free to stand at the tip of each and have a good look down and try to figure out what’s down there.

You can take a few steps down each too if you like.

But the problem with a few steps is that you only see what the beginning holds, so maybe it’s best to walk a mile down each of them.

But you can’t really do this with every path, there’s 100 of them!

So, you just have to select a few to try. But which ones? And what if walking a mile isn’t enough to really … know.

I mean, what about miles 2, 3 or 47?

You are completely free to do what you want.

Which path do you pick?

You can do anything.

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The “Anything Trap” can seem empowering. This was the message that lots of people like me received growing up; that there is a world of possibility out there and I can do anything I want in life. There are so many things I can do!

It creates a strange “problem of progress”.

Indecision.

Indecision.

Indecision.

There is a paradox of choice. We seem to be drawn towards having more choice, but more choice often leads to less action, less creativity and a higher likelihood of disappointment with what has been chosen.

Really, the issue isn’t choice. The issue is fear. At least it was for me.

And a lack of guidance.

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Actually it was shame.

Shame is special type of fear that is particularly toxic.

Why?

Because shame is synonymous with hiding. And hiding stops you learning.

I was afraid that choosing a particular thing would reveal that I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t do it, that I was a failure.

Best not to pick anything at all.

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Instead I stayed in my head thinking about different paths. Imagining myself succeeding, playing out scenarios of triumph … you wouldn’t believe the incredible successes that I’ve … imagined.

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Most people think of rumination as being purely negative. Just going over and over past events or negative thoughts about yourself. But that’s not my experience. My rumination also included moments of grandeur. There would be transitory experiences of being the most important person in the room. Of being unable to do anything wrong. Of being Invincible.

I think this is true of some other people too. And it can make rumination seductive.

It makes you believe that the solution lies in thinking the “right thoughts”. When the solution is actually about taking thoughts less seriously and finding some common sense.

One way to keep an addict gambling is to give him a win every now and again. It makes him believe that the solution lies in more gambling.

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The learning path out of it has been an interesting one. I’m very lucky to have transcended a lot of where I used to be.

I’ve also got pretty skilled at helping other people out of traps that they’re thinking creates. I’ve helped many people now who have been let down by everything else they’ve tried. And I’ve celebrated their success with them as they’ve seen their life anew.

This is a path I chose and I’ve walked a loooong way down.

Gradually, eventually, I’ve got better at actually picking things.

Though I’m still learning. Still getting out of my head and into common sense.

Choose a path. Learn from experience.

Try, try, try.

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This is an idea I’ve been musing:

You cannot achieve “anything”.

Nor can you succeed at “anything”.

You cannot believe in “anything” nor be “anything”.

Neither can you create “anything” nor learn “anything”.

You can only achieve something.

You can only succeed at something.

You can believe in something, be something, become something.

You can create something and learn something.

There has to be a SOMETHING.

That happens SOMEWHERE.

At SOME TIME.

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I’ve just invested in 6 months of coaching. My intention is to expand my private practice. I’m not earning enough money at the moment. So, I’m starting somewhere.

I mentioned above I lacked guidance. That’s a lot of what I’m looking for.

I’m sure I’m going to experience discomfort. Feelings that I’m making the wrong choice in my business growth, that I can’t do it, that I’m wasting my time with various activities, and much else may come up at times.

My old “I don’t know what to do” thinking may come up. Thoughts of “but why do this when you can do that”, “what if this is the wrong choice?”

Those old songs you’ve heard on the radio many times.

It’s a chance to take that old thinking even less seriously.

After the call where I agreed to do the coaching I felt properly shit all day. Loads of feelings of old feelings of overwhelm and not good enough came up.

And that’s a GOOD THING.

It’s a sign I’m going somewhere new. Exploring an area where I can grow.

I also know that I thrive when I have no choice about something.

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I hope there may have been something useful for you in this.

It’s all a part of being human.

Here’s to the future, choosing a path, and going further down it!