Happy Mother’s Day Fellow Mommiors
By: Tami Bulmash
Tags: Lifestyle, Motherhood, Self, Mental Health, Parenting

Happy Mother’s Day Fellow Mommiors

You are the original badass

Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay

If it weren’t for a post I saw on Facebook, I would not have known today was Mother’s Day. And yet, when I realized it was this weekend, I was not amused. One. More. Thing. To. Do.

I don’t have the energy to get the house ready for ‘my day’ to celebrate ‘me’ because truthfully looking at the pile of clean laundry that has been growing on my coffee table for the past two months doesn’t put me in the mood. Nor does my floor — which I clean daily, and yet, the dirt only comes off on the white socks that traipse all over it.

Don’t get me wrong, by all means, please take a day to think of me. But my work — my labor of love, blood sweat and tears, and general superheroness — has been compounded by this parallel universe/twilight zone of an era we’ve all been subject to.

In case you didn’t notice, let me remind you all of what me and my sisters have done to keep this boat afloat.

While we don’t necessarily want to get out of bed in the morning — we still do. And not because we’re being lazy or emotional. Because quite frankly, the sheer load of things we have to get done to keep everyone else sailing on this ship — is utter BS.

Thank you to the school districts for scrambling to find a viable solution to teaching our children during lockdown. With all the brilliant minds at work, I was certain we would at least be able to see our kids’ teachers and classmates in tiny boxes on the screen, waving frantically and sharing quarantine stories. But no, no, no. That was not so.

I realize the school board directors and scholars (you know the ones who write the curriculum but have never stepped foot in a classroom) were in a real pickle trying to figure out how to teach our children from a distance. However, online lessons without instruction or teacher support have only one direction to go. That’s right, “Hey mom! Can you help me?”

Thanks for yet another thankless task we have to complete, and you somehow get credit for.

Boredom and monotony are real issues as well. In fact, live entertainment is limited these days. But you know who brings on the works at least three times a day? Moms that’s who.

Introducing: breakfast, lunch and dinner at your service. We prep, perform, and clean our set — only to realize by the time we’re done, it’s time to put on another show. While good partners can take on a meal or two, who’s the one who cleans it all up when the curtain goes down? Who checks behind the seats, sweeps the floors and puts everything back in its place?

Oh and who runs the dishwasher two or three times a day? And the washing machine? Who magically vanquishes the mess and the spills? Who bids the boo-boos farewell?

Who takes the brunt of the whining, the arguing, and the negotiating with frustrated children who didn’t ask for any of this and do not know how or where to process this new normal? Who offers support for our partners (who are hauling this ship too) as we writhe through exhaustion, blurred by our own tears, fully aware that we are neglecting ourselves (yet again) in the midst of all of this? Us, that’s who.

Rock on sisters. You might be doing all of this before you even start your day job. You know, the one that may or may no longer be paying you.

It’s very hard to have any sense of ‘me’ in this equation because at the end of the day, when you haven’t had a chance to sit down, write an email, or even wash your face, you just want to cry because this all seems too familiar and so unfair.

Hey mom, remember how you spent years and years cultivating yourself? You wanted to be your own person, respected, valued, and appreciated for your worth. You may have gone the route of finishing school, getting a job and/or even starting a family. Whatever you did, you did well and worked your ass off. You took care of everything and everyone.

But somewhere, in between the to-dos, you found time for you. You knew your worth and you treated yourself. Maybe it was good book, a trip to a coffee shop, a date night, a girls’ night out, or a fabulous bath.

You developed this wonderful, hard earned sense of self. You had purpose. You had people that depended on you and you wanted to take care of them at home and elsewhere.

You could go to the store, post office, gas station , beach — the good ol’ days, if you will. You weren’t afraid of standing too close to people, you actually liked seeing other humans.

You had no clue these were things you might later think could have been taken for granted. You had no reason to believe the mundane would be a refreshing change of pace. You had no idea a coronavirus would make you question your sanity over and over again.

And yet, here you are smack in the middle of Mother’s Day 2020. You may have thought this year was going to be great — a year of vision. My wise friend, Brittany, told me perhaps we are all having to focus our gaze on what is truly important.

So fellow Mommior, fixer-of-things, good do-er, and lover of her children and family: you are the original badass, my dear.

You have always focused your gaze on what is truly important. When the world offers you lemons, you turn it into Zoom. When all you can do is walk around the block, you teach your child how to ride a bike (even though you didn’t sleep well the night before). You make those chocolate chip cookies and play outside. And you let your children have tantrums in front of the neighbors because you know they’re trying and you love them more than your rules.

When it’s your turn to have a bad day, you cry in front of your children so they know superheroes cry too.

And when you wake up this morning (and possibly get to sleep in) remember the part of yourself you like the most. Gaze into the beautiful eyes of the creatures you helped create. Embrace the paper clip-on earrings and yarn bracelets they made for you. And the homemade cards and fresh flowers picked from the yard just for you. And the breakfast you asked for. And most importantly, the gift of them you cherish most.

And know this: yes, you give a lot, way more than you ever thought you could. But you know what? You also get a lot and you mean so much to this world.

So sisters, whether you’re sipping caffeine-free weed tea from your garden, mocha-I’m-gonna-choke-ya-latte, or Pinot de Drunkio, here’s to you, fellow Mommior. Cheers to YOU.

And Happy Mother’s Day.