Why everything sucks? I mean EVERYTHING…
By: Jorgen Grissell
Tags: Lifestyle, Russia, Politics, Anthropology, Progress

All right, so this is basically a response to a widely acclaimed article titled “Twelve reasons why Russia sucks” that I came across here on Medium upon googling “why Russian stand-up comedy sucks” (there’s a whole bunch of reasons why I googled it in the first place, but that’s a topic for another day and another show).

I’ve found it to be a rare — and should I say perverted — pleasure reading this rant; more than that, I’ve even enjoyed the Comments section in its entirety (you see, pervert it is). The thing is, well, I am Russian myself (‘ve been living here my all life), and there’s even a sudden twist to it: it turned out I happen to live in the same town (what a shithole, admittedly) and (the punch line) I suspest that I even used to know the author in person (small world, my dear techies, small world). So, let’s get to business as I am going to share my impressions and push forward some of my own agenda: the thing is, it’s not much that it’s Russia that sucks (oh suck it does, there’s no question), the thing is that there’s little that doesn’t (come on, my dare little nihilists, let’s have a big hug).

First of all, regarding the audience’s response to that piece: let’s make it clear that any and every negative comment to an article like this which happens to be the first (and so far a single) comment posted by anyone (especially anyone not bothering even to come up with some crappy avatar) is to be considered as coming from a troll of a special breed ready to spit on anyone for a modest paycheck with any bullshit as cheap, as the paycheck itself — let’s face it, folks, if you hear me (do you?): you’re trolls, you’re cheap, but you too need to make a living, so that’s OK and there’s no offense — let’s just assume you’re suckers, that’s it. No need to elaborate, it’s that simple.

Now, what comes to the second half of the audience, embracing the “fuck the Russia(ns)” attitude and basically having their eyes wet upon thinking they’ve made their way out of this country (if they used to live here) or thinking they shall never (ever) visit it in the first place. Good for you! Life is tough here, for sure. No kidding. I’d run for myself. The thing is such a position of yours still makes me feel bad: the reason is simple and personal and it’s that I have literally nowhere to run.

What’s out there for non-techie people? I don’t enjoy coding just as much as I don’t enjoy watching TV (be it Russian, Swedish, Dutch, Polish, Brazilian, US, British, Mozambique or whatever — the tacit assumption is that all of them full of shit, right?). Moreover, I don’t believe in thee Progress thing just as much as I don’t take a word of thee Propaganda. And I have pretty good reasons for both of these attitudes. It’s a long story, but I’ll jump to conclusions: I just hate your iPhones, I hate your CCTV, hate your antibiotics, your sweatshops, your offices, your corporate culture, your Monsanto bullshit, your antidepressants (and all that Big Pharma business), your academia, your total surveillance, your deforestation, your pollution, commercialization of all aspects of life, your school system, your academia (again), your armies, the entirety of your military-industrial shit, your so-called democracy, even your Internet! All of it sucks — and there’s no way to hide anywhere on this planet from all this for someone who doesn’t want to take part in that rat race (career).

And it’s not that I stick to some special kind of a bleak lazy worldview (even considering my Russian inbreeding) — there’s actually a long and noble history of such anti-technology ranting, which, for some reasons, is rarely put on TV. Take philosophy — you know, when you’re paid for just thinking and not for producing some Code or Solutions or Breakthroughs. Just thinking, in abstract — that’s how it used to be. Here we have Jacques Ellul and Bruno Latour, for example. Then, there were anthropologists: Pierre Clastres anyone? There’s more names, you can google. Oh, damn, they’re all French, aren’t they. May be that’s because there used to be a CRITIQUE, rather than ranting and sticking it to the Man. And if I’d go by ranting, I’d stick to Laurence Labadie (get his “Anarcho-Pessimism” title — you can still download it for free, my dear pirate captain, and enjoy something other than your typical mass-media blogging and messenger bullshit and well… some coding).

The point is, peoples’ worldviews could be much less dictated by the nature of specific regimes, than by some other socio-cultural stuff that appears to be of a pretty much globalist nature. And there used to be a rich history of individualist thinking in Europe, US and Russia. It has almost been forgotten by now. May be it’s because everyone’s coding. Ah, and the rest are too busy making latte’s. Why not learn some history? Why spending all of your time coding, reading tech stuff, watching that TEDtalks quick-fix stupidity? Then, what if there’s no hope at all? What if it’s time to embrace pessimism — to face it, to become true to one’s self? What if we’re doomed? What if everything is already fucked?

Speaking of individualism, I am not talking about that variety of libertarianism (which used to be a synonym for anarchism, standing for a much broader and noble cause) that boils down to some half-baked Ayn Rand corporate bullshit. I’d start with the classics — I’d get myself some Max Stirner. Kropotkin, Bakunin, Tolstoy — that’s not about throwing them bombs, you know, there’s huge sense to it when you start contemplating… Next, I’d search through the entire Labadie Collection. Then I’d dig through the “Anarchist Library” for the fuck’s sake.

Know what? Seems like your puppet-masters know their subject much better than you (ask Jeff, Mark or any of them cryptocurrency e-liberators) — the problem is while anarchy seems to be working for them pretty well, it’s not that it’s working for you, as you stick to your (their) technopathoutopia while being involved into thrashing our planet to shit.

And now back to Russia: if things are that bad there, how come it has meddled just ALL OF YOUR/THEIR STUFF? Your elections, your Brexits, your right-winger-mongering, your this, your that, your whatever. If it was THAT easy for that sham of a country, what’s there for the inviolacy of your Institutions? And that is exactly what we all here need, right? Institutions… Who needs them if they crumble that easy?

Don’t get me wrong: I am not making a mistake of blaming Peoples for what turns out to be “their” Governments faults. How come you believing that tale about Power for the People in the first place? Did I ask whether you read Pierre Clastres? So, I am 100% not in support of such meddling on the part of Russia or any other country (nation, government, political body, sovereign, name it — they don’t even seem to have agreed on their terms yet). The huge resources wasted on these kinds of bullshit should have been spent on improving the desperate living conditions of hoi polloi (when speaking of Russians, perhaps, this would make their hearts softer, or harder, or what is it that you want them to be — if we’re taking the broader view of sticking it to them all as if they’d be some undifferentiated grey mass of a people). But again — who can guarantee that there’s any such government system that would actually pursue their interest instead of its own? Even if there’s such a thing as a common interest (even if we agree to consider it to represent the interests of the winning majority). Finally, even (again!) if some system works somewhere else, why should we take it for granted that a similar system will be as effective in Russia? How will it be erected in the first place? By a strong hand? Via some revolution? Via open elections? Really? That simple? Why not then? There’s been plenty of chances — looks like now we’re reaping them crops.

And if you’ll start telling me how much easier it is to solve problems in just one single country than it is to fix the entire world, my answer would be that the world should not necessarily be synonymous with Civilization. No one’s taking me to Mars, and I am not going anyway. So why should I bother? Let me put it straight: I fucking HATE WORK, I am sick of your REGULAR JOBS and that LinkedIn/Uber/AirBnB/Facebook hypocrisy, I no longer believe there’s future for people like me, at least if we’re speaking about a future that would not make me sick just envisioning it — I hate all this so much that I’d rather go hunting and gathering, only there are no National Parks for the Humans. As all has been decided for me, I am to stick to the Lifestyle, or otherwise (which is stick to another one, neither of my own choice). Why don’t we read Peter Lamborn Wilson, for Christ’s sake? He’s still around, seductive.

I mean, may be there’s no need to be woke and we can just wake up a little. Can we stop eating bullshit? Stop believing that there’s one future for all — and that future is synonymous with (Technical) Progress? One more thing: I may not be as employable as you are for the simple reason I am not fond of coding or even embracing a nine-to-five job as such— should this make me deplorable?

Looks like I am stuck around the shit that abounds — the special branch of a dump site with a lot of a character in it, and there’s not much for me to decide: no one is waiting me there, outdoors, one grim piece of shit as I am, not willing to change one king of trash for another (may be more clean, more fluffy, more civil). Should have finished my god damn education which I hated nearly as much as the prospect of being drafted to army where they could at least beat the shit out of me — once and for all.

To sum up: national governments seem to have long been gone, dear The People — now you’re dealing with some other, much grisly beast. Name it Neoliberalism, Technology, Progress, Military-Industrial Complex or Wishful Thinking, simple as that — frankly, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you’re playing for one of the sides. And me either.