7 Valuable Principles to Lower Pride That Causes Unhappiness
By: La Dolce Vita Diary
Tags: Personal Growth, Mindfulness, Self, Productivity, Advice

7 Valuable Principles to Lower Pride That Causes Unhappiness

Everybody can have small doses of pride, causing an unfulfilled life

Photo by sergio souza on Unsplash

We live in a gray world. You see evidence of high doses of pride with self-defiance at every turn in the news. Businesses, public servants, and individuals not cooperating or collaborating.

People are making their own norm choices.

Maybe you’ve found yourself following what you’ve seen others do even when it’s against better judgment.

The way to stay safe is to participate in abstinence and know your stance or morals before a situation arises that needs confronting.

Ah, but living out freedoms is more exciting than playing it safe, as younger people would think.

When I was in my early 20’s I thought I was invincible. That’s the only message my brain fed me. I didn’t have enough experience with life to know what could happen when you live parts of your life carelessly and endanger yourself. I was in tip top shape and prime health, had good friendships, a respectable work title, and thought I had the world on my shoulders. Can you relate to a time you felt like that?

I believe the 20-somethings today have that same belief as they go about lives ranging from life as usual to recklessly self-defiant. Imagine if under peer influence or social desires, they participate in a large group party like those similar in a fraternity house or depicted in the classic movie Animal House, where all kinds of mayhem can occur.

The source could be individual pride, demonstrated in an experience bigger than oneself.

If participants were to pay attention to their behaviors, they would see signs that they’re heading in the wrong direction.

They may not be self-aware yet of the damage they may incur from their pride and ego.

They could end up paying with problems or accidents that stem from their actions, lasting long (or for a lifetime) after a bad decision and instant gratification.

Even their short lived fun isn’t actually contributing to their happiness as they are feeding the parts of their mind and body that won’t give them authentic joy and happiness.

That’s why they look for the next source of excitement until that unsatiated want is replaced or they grow out of their current ways.

We can actually learn from youngsters in what not to do.

But adults far beyond their 20’s (and in all ages) still make these mistakes because they don’t know how to turn to the better ways and reap a more rewarding life.

Today I want to focus on just one way that can lead to bad decisions, and that’s foolish pride that any one of us can fall victim to.

The way to not stumble in prideful actions, is to stay humble. It’s a simple solution but not easy to carry out consistently.

Good vs. Bad Pride

At any moment, your mind can play tricks on you or all of the sudden you need to react to a situation. The first line of defense and default response is your pride.

That’s why we get in trouble with our prideful tongue and behaviors. Then it can become too late as you don’t want to admit your mistake out of… guess what? Pride again. Everywhere you turn, that nasty big “P” word can show up.

If you didn’t have a little pride, or little “p” we’ll call it, you wouldn’t have a sense of worth. So a healthy dose of pride is good to celebrate, and pat yourself on the back to motivate you. Feeling good and proud about an achievement is a little “p” pride to smile about that makes life worth living.

But when pride hurts or potentially hurts others, or there’s a feeling of superiority, the gray line is crossed to the Big “P”, harmful pride.

Anger is an emotion associated with harmful Big “P” pride, such as getting mad over other peoples’ incompetencies in your perfection expectations, or failure to drive the way you think people should.

Usually when we deal with people’s pride, it’s the Big “P” type that makes other people whisper negative things about those people.

If you’ve ever encountered a person who’s fully prideful or has prideful traits, or it’s the person in the mirror, below are some ways to help that person change. Because the bottom line is pride creates unhappiness, strained and unfulfilling relationships, and limiting lives.

Prideful people can have the squeaky wheel gets the grease mentality that doesn’t bring happiness or guarantee longevity. Peace seeking people know how to reach a higher consciousness for true happiness and longer living.

7 Principles to Lowering Pride

1. Seek a better life.

If you seek to be popular led by pride, you will eventually do the wrong things. Many people want to have some degree of popularity within their groups. The truth is that doing what is popular is doing what others want (to hear or see) for a self-serving reason or motivation.

Authenticity is doing what is real to you even if it’s not popular. Standing your ground in what you believe and being wise to share when what you believe can help others even if it may hurt your popularity or reputation.

If you find yourself hurting others, then that’s a sign you’re heading in a pride seeking direction.

In consciousness, you can turn around by focusing on building up other people and this world.

2. Find compassion for others.

Turn any prideful judgment and superior feelings to empathy and sympathy. If you’re not a naturally compassionate person, compassion can be learned.

It’s a choice.

A good way to test, is to see how you feel watching sad news stories. If you feel sympathy for a less fortunate someone or a group you don’t know, you can feel compassion for those you care about. If you feel cynical or unaffected, you may want to do a pride check.

Purposefully imagine putting yourself in their less fortunate shoes. Think of a loss that you had in your life that you survived where you can relate to this group. Maybe your family growing up struggled to pay bills or you did.

If you’ve never faced a loss, think how grateful you are that you haven’t, and in your overflow of gratitude, you can feel compassion for them.

3. Have written reminders for your weak pride areas.

Place reminders where you may be triggered to act prideful based on your past behaviors. If it’s road rage, keep a kind message by your steering wheel.

Reminder notes may seem silly, but if they help once, they can change your pride weakness. They cost virtually nothing compared to hurting others. Remember, what goes around, comes around.

If your brain is generating prideful thoughts, searching for better thoughts in the moment or when you’re tired is not going to be easy especially if you’re distracted with traffic. But you can stop yourself with a reminder in front of you.

4. Serve others.

Remind yourself or seek to learn what a servant heart does. Practice daily kindness. Show up with a like-minded group that serves or thinks of others beside themselves.

A 5-minute daily, kind gesture can change your entire intention for the day. It’s not what you can get, but what you can give.

Purposefully overlooking an offense, counts.

5. Switch to higher ways in conversations.

Meekness is not weakness. Pride can create scoffers who see kind people as weak. Be strong to take their hurled insults and dismissing your existence. Stay your kind self, despite sneers or mocking criticism.

You could be talking to their ego that they will one day regret. And you may have long gone and moved on.

Restrain your tongue and listen more in the moment. This gives you deeper calm and control for any situation. Use your non-verbal cues, such as leaning in to show you’re listening.

Use body language such as hands clasped loosely in front of you to remind yourself to be conscious of your actions, or to be reserved and polite.

Interrupt for the right reasons. Answering or taking over a conversation when you know where the other person’s thought is going, is respectful bonding if you’re considered the expert or you have good rapport.

Don’t interrupt or cut someone off with your opinion because their opinion is not respected.

Be productive. Seek a goal. When you’re having relationship issues, the goal is to reconcile, not find disagreements or go round and round. If you agree to disagree, then your opinions are kept separate to your valuable relationship. People don’t have good reception for those who have belittled them caused by pride.

6. Be gentle.

You can practice gentleness with how you handle your everyday world. Gently close doors and fold clothing. You become caring for your things. When you have a caring attitude, you appreciate instead of take on an entitled attitude that can turn prideful.

Then be a gentlemen or a pleasant woman. Find out if that’s how people describe you.

Be free from any offended feelings or unforgiveness. If someone does offend, state the offense as an observation, and that you choose not to react. This throws offenders off guard, as it shows strength and that you had another choice.

You’re not running away afraid, but you are letting it go. You likely won’t be offended on purpose again that same way, as they learned the lesson once.

If necessary, write down multiple offenses so you can see them. I remember in one 20 minute phone call I was offended 14 different times.

After the conversation, I just jotted each offense down to justify my belief that the other person’s pride reached an off the chart unhealthy level (and I determined needed intervention help).

In humility, kindness, and honesty, you can show prideful offenders higher ways for them to grow.

7. Change prideful ways when they occur.

If you catch yourself acting out in harmful pride, reflect on that incident and state what you did aloud to yourself as the observer.

If you want to change your specific wrong, teach yourself in the moment what you don’t want to repeat.

It may take several times, but at least you’re sincerely trying. If you really want to change, you will. Positive changes in your lead to happiness.

Real happiness is loving what you do serving others and learning higher, selfless characteristics. When you can control your pride and exchange for humility, in every situation, you’re well on your way to a life of clarity that attracts people.

You can become a great leader, partner or parent, and popular for the right reasons. You stop talking about yourself, and people can’t stop talking about you.