3 decades, 3 lessons!
By: Heena Narula
Tags: Career Advice, Growing Up, Relationships, Personal Development, Adulting

A lot can happen over a long walk :)

Science World, Vancouver. Photo Courtesy: My partner for life, Sai Akhil Satyavolu

Ambling along the seawall in downtown Vancouver on a chilly November night, my partner, quite expectedly owing to the occasion, asked me- “How are you feeling about turning 30 today?”.

Thirty is a big number. It means I have been alive for 10958 days. That does evoke a sense of wisdom, enough to pen down thoughts I shared as a response to the question that night! I am also delighted to report that I am not obsessively weirding out over growing old. Maybe making peace with growing old is a sign of growing up (wink)!

Like every go-getter millennial, I have tried making my “things to do before 30” and other such life milestones, only to realize that life has its own way of surprising you so why fret over timelines! (Read: Moving to a different continent was never in any of these milestone lists and here we are). Today, I rather chose to reflect on the life sessions I have learned in these all years spanning across Career, Relationships, and Personal Development (3 words that apparently pique every 30-something’s interest).

I have spent around 20% of my life so far as an earning individual and the internet tells me that this number grows to around 1/3rd in the entire lifetime. This makes it highly important to make career decisions wisely. When I look back at the choices I made, a warm wave of comfort wraps me around. This is not because I spent a massive chunk of it working in the non-profit sector (as many around me assume) but because I worked with the right set of people, built amazing relationships, and found purpose in my work (Also, to debunk a myth here, it is totally possible to find your purpose in a for-profit sector)

Lesson Learned- Before joining an organization, get clarity on their WHAT, WHY, and HOW and visualize if you fit there. In the final rounds of interviews (which is already a testimony of the org’s interest in you), I ask questions on the short and the long term plan of the org, the challenges it faced in the last few years, and how they were overcome as well as the current challenges and the plan to change them in opportunities. I wait till the final round to ask this because firstly, I want to be sure that they see me as a good fit (since they know their org culture and needs better than I do), and secondly because final interviews are generally with someone in the senior leadership with a heightened awareness of the org’s vision and mission. The tone of the answer speaks volumes of the commitment shown by the leader towards the org’s growth which will eventually trickle down to employees’ growth. This has helped me make some very interesting and vital professional decisions in almost 8 years of my career so far, now spanning across 2 continents. I have also been unabashed about moving on to a different role and sector when I have achieved what I wanted to in that role, provided those opportunities didn’t exist in the org. While some might say that a transition within 2 years of joining an org might be projected as a lack of commitment, I firmly believe that it shows commitment towards my personal growth and clarity of ambition.

People close to me often question how I am able to build relationships so easily. To give more context, I have a long history of meeting very interesting people wherever I go. Hiking a mountain in a different country with a stranger, meeting someone on a 2-hr flight, and de-boarding with an exciting job offer, finding a cab driver open up about feeling like an outsider in his own country, getting food offered from someone who doesn’t speak my language when the airlines served me salmon in the name of veg food, the list is long!

Lesson Learned- We, human beings, have a radar for genuineness. We tend to grow closer with people who are vulnerable and show real interest in us. While my loquacity has been an area of concern for my school teachers, it has also helped me become an authentic communicator. One of my managers once told me that he finds it so easy to work with me because my face says it all. If I am not in favor of a decision, my words and my facial expressions resonate with that. That coupled with the intent to ask clarifying questions to expand my knowledge has helped me navigate smoothly in my personal and professional life. Not saying that all my relationships are perfect and it is definitely an area to grow and improve but being honest about my feelings and expectations has been a constant practice.

Exercising, eating right, taking care of skin and hair, reading more books, etc. often feature in our new-year resolutions, birthday resolutions, and whatnot. Of course, I have been trying to do some of this, especially now, when I have more time, opportunity, and access. However, no two days are the same and that’s something I want to distill in my thought process. Some time back, I realized that I am my biggest enemy. I tear myself apart more often than outsiders. It could either be the result of super-high expectations I often set for myself or deep-rooted insecurity born out of inadequacy (still figuring out).

Lesson Learned- Being your own cheerleader has more benefits than we can imagine. We often look for appreciation from outside and when we stop receiving it, motivation and effort take a hit. To support me better, I started setting up small goals, celebrating small wins, and tracking my growth. This has helped me be a little gentle with myself and at the same time, not procrastinate. Tracking the number of pages I read, the kilometers I bike, the calories I burn, the fruits and veggies I eat, etc. has made me more conscious about these vital growth milestones.

Of course, this is not the complete list but the walk was only 25 minutes long and it’s a lot of wisdom to share for a newly turned 30-year old, right?