While talking about mental health, words matter. Here’s why.
By: Sneha Tatapudy
Tags: Depression, Mental Health, Burnout, Reflections, Anxiety

Have you ever been told that depression is a sign of intelligence? That the depressed people of the world “know too much” and therefore, they are devastated (and doomed). I have heard versions of this claim literally forever. When an actor or a comedian dies by suicide, when a brilliant friend comes out in the open to discuss their battle against mental health, and each time I have talked about my own struggles with a loved one who is unsure of what to say, there is always a vague statement that basically alludes to the idea that the smartest people are the saddest people.

I never know how to react to such references to depressed people. Are they saying I’m super smart? That’s kind of cool, right? May be I should be happy that people aren’t really calling me lazy or worthless? Also, this means that I don’t have to work as hard and I’ll still be successful, right? Wrong.

The focus on someone’s “smartness” and ability to “get by”, often takes away from their very palpable “struggle” to stay productive. Earnest attempts to positively respond to mental health challenges eventually serve to silence and overlook all signs that scream loud and clear, “You are in survival mode.”

Frankly, I’ve been caught in the trap of believing I can scrape by and get work done because I’m talented and brilliant. I call it a “trap”, because, well, it is. This narrative shifts the focus away from the prolonged, draining struggle to stay productive for someone battling mental health challenges — it completely overlooks the constant spiraling about how much you need to do (while you can’t do anything at all). It doesn’t explain why your stress impacts you enough to make you avoid eating right, sleeping enough or finally getting the work done.

The crash and burn model is exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. It makes you feel like you are invincible and capable of achieving the impossible while constantly depleting your energy and muting the inner voices that are trying to tell you to pay attention to the multitude of struggles that you neatly pack away to stay “productive”. Even if the triggers and experiences of anxiety and depression are buried deep down, the weight of this reality doesn’t disappear. This leads to a situation where 1. You expect yourself to always “manage” and “get things done” regardless of the toll it takes on you. 2. You term everything that is eating you up from within as “overthinking” or “temporary”. 3. You never recognize the mental health struggles that pose real barriers to your ability to keep working and caring about work.

So instead of buying into the toxic positivity that doesn’t serve me or validate what I’m going through, I’ve started naming what I believe is happening to me. When I read an email a million times before sending it, I tell myself that I’m not a “perfectionist”, I’m simply anxious. When I lay in bed watching grey’s anatomy while softly sobbing and texting friends about how much I need to get done in the day, I focus on recognizing what is weighing me down and try to name the depressive symptoms I’m experiencing. When I feel a mental block because of too many unrelated and overwhelming thoughts, I try to remind myself that I am emotionally flooded, not “crazy” or “confused”.

The process of actually naming my struggle is a means of respecting and accepting my experiences, needs and emotions. It makes me feel seen and heard. This helps me a lot. If you can relate, may be it will help you too.