Love …Never Dies. Even if the one you love does.
By: Wistful Writer
Tags: Love And Relationships, Love, This Happened To Me, Tragedy, Life

Love …Never Dies

Even if the one you love does.

Sketch by me

I love you. I feel it so deeply I can't breathe. I still feel your breath over my neck, your voice in my ear, and your arms around me. Your eyes, they spoke to me without any words. When you looked at me I felt seen. They conveyed your feelings before you even uttered a word. Your hands, your arms…When you touched me, held me, I felt like I had finally reached my destination. This is where I am meant to be …forever. This is my place… Your lips, your body…When we kissed, it was God's own language. Two wandering souls finally home, telling each other what they meant. When we made love, it was perfect harmony, a harmony of emotions, and physical connection. Connection so deep that it brought tears to our eyes amidst our intense pleasure.

Is this what true Love is? What I wrote above is a non-stop background track in my head. I never knew the extent to which Love can exist … and, in my case, torment. Torment to my eyes, which long to see him; to my hands, which crave to touch him. But my soul…my soul still feels him. It’s as if he now lives inside me, I absorbed him and his love so deeply he now lives on in my heart...

I read it in books, “he lives on in my heart.” I naively thought it a good play on words, but now here I am. Living it….yes he lives on, undoubtedly…in my heart, mind, and soul.

I used to be a sarcastic non-believer. I thought, love is just in books. Eternal long-lasting love is only in novels and made to fool normal people like us. But this experience of love and loss has brought me to my knees. I am humbled before the sheer power of this unfathomably deep and complex emotion we call love. It's as real as it gets.

The logical side of me is baffled by this still, I don't know how this is happening. Even after so much time, nothing has changed in the depths of my heart.

He died 3 years ago, but every day with my first waking breath, my first thought is of him. Almost all my dreams are of him. He haunts me, not in a bad way but he does. I have changed continents since then, life has been moving at high speed but still, it seems like somewhere in me there is a clock which has stopped.

I doubt if I can love like that ever again. I wasn't looking for it when I found it; in fact, it happened at a very wrong time in my life. But it was destined.

There is a constant sense of vacuum in my chest. I could swear, it feels physically present, like a hole that is sucking my breath out. It was excruciating at first but now it's just a constant humming pain, one that is a part of me.

A part of me that reminds me, reminds me that: I loved fully; I didn't hold back, and I gave it my all… and I am so thankful I did. Grateful that it happened.

Yes, I am a little broken. But being loved, like I was by him, has given me strength, too.

I am not drowning in my grief. I live my life fully, I laugh, I live, I try to Love. I cherish and enjoy myself with my family and friends. I do it all, but every time I raise a glass, it’s first to the sky hoping he is looking…No, not hoping, I am sure he is looking…looking at me.

His words still echo in my head, telling me beautiful things about myself. Reassuring me when I am low or feeling worthless.

Almost every moment alone is filled with his thoughts and sensations. I am surprised by the intensity of these feelings. Everyone reads about love, falls in love, falls out of love… but this, what I am experiencing, doesn't make any sense to my logical mind.

So I learned this: Love is varied, and may happen numerous times to one person. Each time it is love indeed, even if it existed in a moment, weeks, months, or years. It isn't and most probably won't be forever.

But few of us, call us blessed or cursed — We will experience that one rare Love, which will cling to us forever, long after it's over and all physical presence of it has burnt to the ground.

Love is just that: A feeling exchanged between two souls which can be over but never forgotten, never dead.

True Love never dies

Love enriches us, strengthens us, changes us, and only a fortunate few experience it.

So all of you who are in Love, feel it. Feel it well, each nuance, each emotion, each look. Go all in, don't hold back. Time is not promised, make the most of it. . .