Another Birth Story
By: T. H. Mcclung, She Her S
Tags: Birth, Parenting, Transgender, Daily Blog, Year 49

Another Birth Story

Photo by Tyler Delgado on Unsplash

Kid #2 has always been quieter than Kid #1. Three years and 10 days are between their births. Hubby and I had been married for eleven years when Kid #1 was born. To say that we may have led him to believe that the world revolved around him is an understatement. Our world did revolve around him.

Because he was born five weeks early due to slowly decreasing amniotic fluid, Kid #1 had spent some time in the neonatal intensive care unit. The same thing happened with Kid #2, but at four weeks early and without the NICU stay. Needless to say, I was even more nervous than the first time because I knew how things could go wrong.

They put me in the hospital because we had crossed the line of it being safer for the baby to be outside the womb than inside the womb with such little fluid remaining. This time Hubby and I were ready and we knew that if a doctor suggested “getting a good night’s rest” that we should know that was a joke and the doctor would be the only one resting. Around Noon, they started the Pitocin in the IV. Once again, I was lucky. Only six hours later and Kid #2 was born.

The nurses carried them over to the maternity bassinet to do all the normal newborn checks. I sat across the room on my hospital bed listening intently for the crying. There was none. There were no sounds that I could hear coming from the baby. Hubby stood next to me and I started to panic a bit,

“Why aren’t they crying? What’s wrong? Why is there no crying? What’s the matter? Is everything okay?”

Hubby was straining to see around the nurses so that he could answer me. The nurses heard my questions. They assured me that the baby was just fine. Only quiet. Really, really quiet.

Kid #2 is not always quiet. They can get really loud. In fact, tonight as I sit here and write this I can hear him yelling downstairs and laughing so loud sometimes that our neighbors can probably hear it. It is the night before Kid #2’s 16th birthday and there are friends hanging out to celebrate.

When I asked if I was expected to do anything for this momentous birthday, I was told,

“Maybe get a cake? Let us order pizza.”

I have put on some amazing birthday parties in the last nineteen years. Just last year, I created an entire Harry Potter Escape Room in our living room for Kid #2 and the two friends we allowed to come over during Pandemic Birthday #1. The number of friends allowed this year (Pandemic Birthday #2) is slightly increased, but only because they are the group he goes to school with and they have all been vaccinated and are tested regularly. And, all I HAD to do was buy a chocalate cake with chocalate icing (this child is mine, afterall) and order some pizza to be delivered. Like everything else that has to do with being a mother, this makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

Kid #2 had to stay in the hospital a little longer than normal because of high levels of bilirubin. Whereas I had to leave Kid #1 at the hospital when I was discharged after two days, this time I got to stay put. We had a nice suite with a sitting area for guests and Kid #2 got to sleep next to me as much as I wanted. Sometimes I let the nurse take them to the nursery so I could sleep! They didn’t discharge me until they discharged the baby. As it should be.

Kid #2 drives me around now. In a couple of weeks, I will escort them to take the driving test and they hope they will leave with a Driver’s License in hand. If you have known us for the last sixteen years, reading this post may be weird because of the pronouns I’m using. Kid #2 prefers “he” or “they” and I’m doing my best to honor that. Telling the birth story without using the other pronoun is not easy.

Quietly, they have made themselves known to us. I don’t think there are many people who truly know this kid on a deep level who understand what a brave thing that has been. Some days I am better about remembering it than others.

There was no need to yell and scream at birth to make himself known to us. He was just fine. He has been quietly being himself ever since. Except for the moments when he is loud. Sometimes he is really, really loud. And, they are still just fine.