Today Is My Liberation Day! I Give Myself Permission to Live..
By: Zain Geddes
Tags: Rules, Freedom, Live, Liberation, Rebirth

Today. Today I liberate myself from myself. From my family. From unmet needs and expectations. I choose to set myself free from the pain of giving and not receiving. Nor seeking something outside of myself. I release myself from needing to be someone in the eyes of family or the weight of perfection to overcome the shame of childhood wounds. I am not my parents, or my siblings. I am not my friends or strangers I do not know. I am not my anguish or shame. Today I choose to live. Today is my day of liberation.

Kyle-Hinkson-Unsplash

I abandon all rules, ties and patterns of who I should be to allow who I am to emerge. I seek no outside approval, validation or acceptance as I learn to love myself and give myself a chance to breathe. I pray to my own god or no god, I shrink myself for no-one and I stand alone, free.

I stop forcing myself to meet other’s expectations. I stop making other people important in my life when I am less important to theirs. I live for myself, my own life, my own joy and dance to the beat of my own drum.

I am learning to like who I am and who I am becoming. I give myself permission to make mistakes to learn, to laugh at myself. I will learn to be loving and patient with myself as I wish my parents had been with me. I set boundaries for who I allow into my life and I do not compromise. Blood is not more important than respect.

I discover who I am, all the parts of me, even the dark parts, the scary parts and the parts I have hidden or forgotten. I look deeply into who these are with curiosity. I learn what compassion is for myself. I stop striving to win the love, approval, affection or validation in everyone, desperate for a love I didn’t receive.

I use my experience of love and instead of easily giving it away to others who do not treasure it, I shine the light of love into myself. I stop desperately trying to be chosen, like a toy in a carnival grabbing machine. I am not a prize to be won or a forgotten pet at the pound, hoping. Longing.

I will find my joy and creativity I hid. I will rediscover the geeky parts of me, the awkward parts, the uncool parts. The parts I discarded either in shame or to impress others.

I stop needing to be seen by others and let myself be seen in me. My true self my true voice. When I allow these to grow and thrive, I will not need others to approve, for I will have all I need from within.

I was not put on this earth to be obedient to follow others, to give up my life to help others build theirs. I have no need to be part of a pack, I am an eagle living as I please, free. Too many are waiting or needing to be told what to do, how to live as have I. No more. I write my own code for life and my conditioning up to this point has not served me but brainwashed me.

I stop looking for the one, the one who will bring me eternal happiness, or take away loneliness. I stop setting my standards so low just so someone, anyone will give me some attention. I learnt my needs are not met no matter how much I protest, or plea. I am learning to stand tall and I build my boundaries of self-respect and self-love.

Today is my liberation day. I live free from old rules or scripts. Free from expectations of others. There is now only living for oneself. My one true self.