Parent or Pay rent(s)?
By: David Scarpetti Jr.
Tags: Parents And Children, Parenthood, Parents, Parenting Advice, Parenting

Photo by Mick Haupt on Unsplash

Parents always do TOO MUCH.

They try & “teach” us too much(really just ends up being a quote from their father or a bumper sticker)

They argue too much(Cause our life “has to” be theirs)

And they love too much(…this one’s okay.)

And I understand why, but you think they’d tap out after a week or 2. Parents can work a full day’s duties & come back home to be a parent as another side hustle and a half. How?! I’m clearly not a parent as I’ve lacked the parental empathy one gets when dealing with little rugrats day in and out; as I call them. Don’t get me wrong, I loved kids.

Did you catch the past tense? “Loved.” As in I’ve taken a long look, perhaps a dozen or so of these intimate deep dives, and have seen the same image in my head….a cage. A little bitty cage for all my hopes and dreams to stay waiting.

Yes, this sounds pretty harsh. But selfishly, it’s true…we think of ourselves 1st. This is a human trait. And this thought stays in place until something amazing happens. When you and your partner “acquire” a child. Whether it’s through an odd, but mostly sketchy, exchange, doing it the old fashion way, or you stop by one of those buildings that they house those little monsters. Either way…this decision changes a person.

Drastically. Cause we’ve all had encounters with a friend or relative who has grown into a completely different person due to this new parental role they signed up for(except for all you mistakes out there. XD No one signed your permission slip). And in most cases, this change was positive. Their life becomes meaningless in return for this child’s prosperous life. Until they become a parent who gives too much.

And the fun monotonous carousel rides around again for another generation to bear. And you know what’s odd about that…? I didn’t pay for a ticket. Now this may be hard to determine through words alone, as I’ve been harassing the idea of protective parents, but I have an extremely healthy relationship with my parents. With all of my flaws and theirs wrapped together, we’ve built an open and communicative relation.

Having said that…I would NEVER deal with the shit I had them participate in. HAHAHA….no friggin way guy! Let’s just say my parenting style would’ve included a “few closed doors and curtains down” parenting sessions with an open palm; Definitely not ready for kids.

But I’m not “fully” sold on not having kids. (If it makes you feel better, if this post was a video I would’ve included a moment of “booo’s” after that last comment). I know it’s annoying. Imagine what’s going on in my head. Rather I’ll just tell you.

I think I would love to be a parent. I’d probably give my kid too much and be the exact representation of the type of parent that bothers me. And that DOES bother me. But why? We all have the same hours in a day. What we choose to use it for will determine our future. And as amazing as it sounds putting my full-time, energy, and expenses towards a mini-me I can mold into a kickass individual, in my eyes(my non-parental eyes) it’s not enough.

As an alternative, what if I took that time, energy, & expenses and spent it in a way that can help dozens of children. Who knows, maybe hundreds or thousands. Even tossing the child concept aside, as Horace Mann once said(I swear I didn’t look this up [this is one of my favorite quotes] ) “Be ashamed to die until you have scored some victory for humanity.”

Such a powerful thought. When was the last time you had a thought of how you could help benefit our species and then went ahead and created some form of action behind it? The reason this quote hits so hard is because this is a monumental feat. Having an impact in your local community is 1 solution itself, yet having the world benefit from your devotion to a particular cause is awe-inspiring.

“Well wait a moment now David!”

Yes, you. The opinionated gentleman in the back.

“Yes, well…if you are so heaven-sent on changing this world for the better, why don’t you simply raise a child to follow these beliefs to change this world you speak of? Who says that if all your time, energy, & expenses were spent on this child instead, that they won’t grow up to “score some victory for humanity?”

Boy am I glad that I chose you, opinionated gentleman. I have an answer for you. But 1st, it probably would be easier if I gave this man a name. So that when people wonder who asked the question…I can say Opinion Nate-did. :D

Told you I would be a good dad…got all the dad jokes prepped and ready!

Well, the simple answer to Nate is if I waited to make this decision after becoming a parent, well then I’ve already made my decision. I choose my kid. Easiest choice in the world. However, there are a sprinkle of reasons that silence that noise Nate speaks of.

My unborn child’s opinion on that matter could be the same as yours, Nate! What if they don’t want to help humanity and what if they just want to raise a family? Nothing wrong with that as that’s their first amendment rights(assuming they are a citizen within a democratic country). But that’s the same process. What if it never stops? This could be a never-ending circle of us humans repopulating & running through resources until our inevitable doom. But that’s an insane thought…right?

Overpopulation is already a concern in this world and adding more to this planet is simply unnecessary in my eyes. Nevertheless, if I did decide to have a child it would be through adoption. Simpler, safer, and more rewarding for the child.

be through adoption. Simpler, safer, and more rewarding for the child. I’m truly concerned about how my child would turn out. What if I did all the right things but they still go their own route, and it’s disastrous? This reason is more of me growing up and instilling better qualities into myself but it still shouts just as loud as the others.

I do believe a child later in life is a more realistic option for me. But just to be clear, I’m a single man looking for my significant other. And when I find her, it’s already known that my choices will be split right down the middle, as my world becomes her’s as well. And if the 2 of us do agree on a lifestyle without children, I can only imagine the time that would be spent with our kids will be used to benefit others. To those more misfortunate than us and to those building a better world for our future generations to thrive in.

It’s a different lifestyle and that’s okay with me. You don’t get everything you want in this world. But if there is an avenue to help speed up the restoration of this world and the people in it from the negligence and arrogance we ourselves caused, then sign me up. And if the best you can do is simply pass positive vibes to the person next to you, because I know there are a lot of rockstar parents out there with limited time on their hands, that would be enough.