I Fancy Myself ‘Pro-Abortion,’ NOT ‘Pro-Choice’
Tags: Abortion, Culture, Polarization, Politics, Isolation

I Fancy Myself ‘Pro-Abortion,’ NOT ‘Pro-Choice’

Because young women shouldn’t be isolated during the most stressful time of their lives E.L.Carpenter Feb 2, 2019·5 min read

Courtesy of memecrunch.com

I once saw a news clip of a pro-choice man in a MAGA-hat saying, “any man who calls abortion a women’s issue, is no man to me.” That simple yet easily misconstrued line has been lodged in my mind ever since. I couldn’t agree more.

It was a collective effort — for better or worse. He’s just as responsible for the baby/mess as she is. If he wants the child/mistake, he deserves a say in its life/termination. And if he doesn’t want the mistake/child, he shouldn’t get to avoid having to face it.

At this point, let’s be clear: I support a ‘women’s right to choose’ as I think she should have the final say in regards to her and her child/fetus’ fate. But I also believe that the father of the baby/fetus should be involved in the parenting process from the moment of inception.

‘Pro-Choice’ in a Nut-Shell

“Any man…”

The pro-choice argument actively works to focus the conversation about abortion (the termination of human life before birth) on the fact that the fetus is in the mother’s body. Therefore, the argument goes, the woman alone gets to choose the life or death of a small piece of herself.

The most radical of these folks have equated abortion to ‘self-care’ — just like getting a trim or buying tampons. But typically, ‘pro-choice’ folks have limits to the types of abortion they’ll allow, and believe abortion to be a tremendously difficult decision that only women have business in making.

According to pro-choice logic, to ban abortion would be a display of sexist lawmaking that regulates the bodies of women and violates their rights. To be ‘pro-choice’ is to be pro-woman.

Nothing is said about the rights of a fetus. It’s not a baby yet, so no moral reckoning applies to the termination of its life.

Picture of baby used in pro-choice Planned Parenthood ad

Nothing is said about the role of the man, because unless he’s the abortion doctor, he has none.

‘Why I’m Not Pro-Choice’

“…who calls abortion a women’s issue…”

Currently a college student, I’ve already seen this thinking isolate two female friends from their significant others out of fear over what the pregnancy would do to their relationships. They got the abortion, spent a couple weeks recovering from the operation, and have never told the ex-fathers the fetus/baby even existed.

Those teenage years are chock-full of anxiety-ridden stunts, and the biggest disaster of them all is a pre-emptive pregnancy. The pregnant girls are considered whores, the boys are considered idiots, and both believe their lives are over… unless…well, it’ll only take five seconds…

But it doesn’t, especially not for the mothers. Equating abortion to ‘self-care’ hardly alleviates the emotional and social strain women feel in making this decision. And expecting them to face it alone is cruel.

If a girlfriend of mine had an abortion behind my back, I’d consider it a betrayal. Call them a fetus if you’d like, but some of us still believe that human life is human life. Full stop.

But much more than that, I’d be stunned that she decided to harbor that burden within herself, considering her shoulders wholly responsible for bearing the weight.

I’d be angry and depressed, empathetic and pitying, all at once.

Fathers deserve their say, and mothers deserve the father’s say as well! It’s not about controlling your body — it’s about deciding the permanent fate of our child: the fate of a full life or absolutely none. It’s about bearing that burden together as partners.

Disturbing to me is knowing that some men would prefer never being told, avoiding the trouble all together. “Oh, just let her handle it — it’s her body after all…”

“…Is no man to me.”

Why I’m ‘Pro-Abortion’

While it may seem like I’m arguing semantics, the words we use to frame these issues matters immensely.

Language can be just as unproductive as it can be effective. And this national debate has been a national stalemate for decades now, because of the self-proclaimed moral superiority manifested in both camps.

The pro-life argument equates abortion to murder, and believes it to be morally repulsive. The pro-choice argument equates abortion to gender equality, and believes it to be morally essential. Both arguments are exaggerations of the truth.

And like most people, I stand somewhere in the middle.

I believe abortion to be a necessary evil. Banning abortion will not destroy the practice, as history has proven that women (and abusive men) will resort to barbaric methods like using a wire-hanger.

More-so, some people are simply unable, for financial reasons or otherwise, to provide support for a child. And as morbid as it sounds, if nobody wants the kid, I believe it better off not being born.

Abortion ought to be treated as the stressful, moral and mental minefield which it is. Women would do well to NOT give men a break — they should demand their full participation throughout the emotional horrorshow.

Created by an anonymous user on imgflip.com

Just as men are responsible for busting one off in that sacred cove, they should be held partially accountable for the decision of abortion and the mental impact it carries.