Meet the Mother Whose Son Joined ISIS
By: Radha Kapadia
Tags: Syria, Terrorism, ISIS, Family, Radicalisation

Meet the Mother Whose Son Joined ISIS

Son Rasheed & mother Nicola (Source: Wbur)

It’s one thing to know you have lost your kid to heaven but to lose them to radicalization — is a feeling that cannot be framed in words.

This is the story of Nicola Benyahia, mother of Rasheed Benyahia, a 19-year-old boy from Birmingham who joined ISIS and never returned.

Before 1996, when Rasheed was born, Nicola always wished to have a son. She was already a mother to 4 daughters by then, so giving birth to Rasheed was truly the most precious moment in her life.

Growing up, Rasheed seemed to be as normal as any other boy and was immensely loved by his family. He had a jolly nature that made him an absolute delight to be around. However, in his teenage years, Nicola realized that although he was full of energy, like teenagers are, for some reason he didn’t have the teenager angst in him. Instead, he channelized this energy into his favorite activities like Martial Arts, Karate, football, and Parkour.

Image of Rasheed (Source: The Independent)

Suddenly, he was not the boy his mother had always known

Mothers can tell when their kids aren’t being the slightest of themselves. That’s what happened.

Things started changing in 2014. Nicola noticed that her son transformed from his humorous and caring self to a more serious kid. He also began to withdraw himself from family activities, which were not at all like him. If anything, Rasheed was the kind of person who loved spending time and doing activities with his family. This change in his behavior seemed all the more strange but it obviously didn’t come off to her as radicalization just yet. But she could easily tell that something was up with him. Some sort of confusion in him which she hadn’t seen ever before.

On 14th Dec 2014, Nicola finds a present and a note on her pillow.

Note from Rasheed (Source: Birmingham Live)

She didn’t find it suspicious because she herself would often write notes for her children. But when she asked her son,

“Oh what’s this, why have you given me this diamond necklace?”

His simple answer (to cover the fact that he was uncomfortable) was,

“Just”

The day Rasheed escaped

29th May of 2015 was a normal day in the Benyahia family. Nicola and her eldest daughter went to work and her youngest daughter, to school. Even Rasheed went to work, like every other day. The only difference was, he never came back.

Normally, if he expected to be late even by 10–15 mins, he’d always inform his mom. But this evening, it was already half an hour past his return time so she phoned him to ask where he was.

There was no reply.

For that entire week, the long week, there was nothing from Rasheed. On the early morning of Monday, she finally received a long text from him. As a worried mother, she was relieved that he was safe and alive but as she went on reading the message, it seemed like something was very very wrong. She said,

“The message talked of paradise and warned me not to talk to the police, not to go to the media, which for me spelt something very very different.”

Rasheed describes his life in Syria

Image of Rasheed (Source: The Independent)

On 4th August 2015, around 10 weeks after he left home, he contacted Nicola for the first time from Syria.

As she walked on the streets of Birmingham, she received a video call from him. She instantly began shaking and her heart started to pound heavily.

As a mother, she was happy to finally hear his voice but she also had questions. She asked him how he was and where he was living to which he replied,

“I’m sure you must’ve guessed”

But that was the last answer Nicola was looking for. Not that she didn’t already have an idea but she wanted to hear him say it rather than do the guesswork. All this time, all she had to do was guesswork.

“I’m at Raqqa”

As soon as he said this, there was nothing more she needed to understand. To her, it was quite evident as to where he was and who he joined.

He had joined ISIS.

The only part she couldn’t understand was why.

The moment Rasheed contacted her, she knew she had to let the police know and hence, kept them involved throughout.

This was far from easy for a mother to process. She made sure to maintain a good relationship with him so he knows that even though she may be disappointed and angry with him, she loved him because he was her son.

Image of Rasheed (Source: Daily Mail)

Slowly, he began sharing about his new life in Syria. He would talk of the places he’d visit, the girl he was planning to marry, and his day-to-day life. One of the most disturbing facts Nicola found in the things he shared was the way people of ISIS treated him. Although they had convinced him to join them in “fighting for the bigger cause”, he was asked to buy his own protective gear and the bullets for the gun to protect himself.

“These kind of things, they don’t tell you when they’re recruiting you. All they tell them is that you’ll have a purpose, you’ll have a wage and you’ll be important but they don’t tell them that they’ll give very little money (Euro 40/week). They give them literally enough to live on.” — Nicola

Sometime around the same week, there were drone attacks in Syria and his mother was concerned. But as per what Rasheed mentioned, the daily bombardment of attacks was now the reality of his new life. Once, he also mentioned having heard a plane shaft open above them. It dropped drones and they had to run for their lives.

Knowing this, Nicola understood that each day he lived was just a miracle because the chances were very high that he was going to die.

Rasheed gets killed in a drone attack

He very well understood the fact that his mother was against what he did. But Nicola decided that she wouldn’t show even the slightest hint of disappointment or anger to him. This was simply because she didn’t want him to die knowing that his mother was angry at him. Although she had all the reasons to be mad — and she really was, she kept it away from him so he could face death knowing that his mother loved him unconditionally, irrespective of whether she agreed with what he did or not.

On 10th Nov 2015, Rasheed was killed.

Nicola’s husband received the call. The man on the other side said he was sorry to tell that Rasheed was killed after being hit by a drone on the Syrian-Iraq border. He died about 10 days before the call and as per his last wish — to inform his parents about his death, they called them as soon as they got hold of a phone.

For Nicola, what was the most upsetting about that phone call was when the man said,

“It was very evident how well you brought him up. He was a very respectful boy”

That’s when she thought,