Does It Matter What Other People Think Of You?
By: Koyum Kolade Afolabi
Tags: Self Improvement, Validation, Opinion

Today, let’s speak some truth.

.

To survive in this world and achieve great things, it is important that you have a good self esteem -- so as to be able to get that necessary first-push from within. You've got to believe in yourself and trust your abilities, because that internal validation is what would push you to dare. And to dare is to do. And to do is to be.

As the internal validation and belief in yourself is important, so also is what people think about you, as both are necessary for your greatness to become a reality; because even though greatness might start from within, it doesn’t end there, ever.

The way the world works is that what other people think about you matters; a lot. Your potential employers wouldn’t employ you if they do not see you worthy, even if you believe within yourself that you’re worthy of the position. It also doesn’t matter how much leadership qualities you (think you) possess, or how well you (think you) can govern a country, state or organisation, if the people who possess the right to vote for you don’t see you as you see yourself -- or something close at least -- then you’ll never get to lead them.

As you work on yourself and read internal validation blog posts every day, it’s important that you don’t get carried away. Don’t invest all your energy in believing in yourself that you don’t care if other people believe in you. If greatness is what you want, you’ll only attain that status when other people endorse you.

Ask Messi, Adichie, Soyinka, Ronaldo, Hamilton, Williams, or any other great person you know -- and they’ll tell you they’re great, not just because they think they are, but because people think so (too).

You’re -- largely -- a great wife because your husband thinks so, a great father because your kids feel so, and a great man because people believe so.

.

Away from validation, ability, and greatness, what people think about you also matter in other vital aspects of your life. It is a more objective metric to measure how good, or effective, or efficient, or successful you are -- as a person, or an employee, or a public officer -- by what people think of you, rather than by what you think of yourself.

It is how your policies affect the people you govern that makes you a good governor, not what you think of those policies in your own mind.

Also, look at brands and see how crazy they are about what people think of them. A multi-million dollar business cares about your opinion -- someone who buys just a 15 dollar product monthly -- because your opinion of them matter. They care because your feedback can help them improve. Because you can refer them to other people. Because even though you’re one person, you possess a lot of power; which can ultimately better them as a brand.

If very big brands can be like this, then maybe you should learn this simple thing from them.

.

I know there are some useless people who no matter how good you are, will never endorse you, and will always try to trivialize your efforts or bring you down. This is not about them or what they think. This whole thing is about you and what the people who matter think of you.

.

It is never a bad thing to care about what other people think of you. However, it is also very important that you don’t overemphasize their opinions, as that is dangerous for you. But it matters. What they think of you, matters.