The Rose-Colored Lens Theory
Tags: Positive Thinking, Mental Health Awareness, Past, Present, Life Lessons

Our pasts. Something that, at a minimum, is a reflection of the people we used to be and the memories we once made. My 11th grade AP Lang teacher commented on humans’ perception of the past during our class analysis of The Great Gatsby, the reading we were supposed to have finished in the weeks prior. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the novel, but the in-depth analysis of the colors of Gatsby’s shirts and the meaning behind the wind moving past the window curtains is enough to make anyone resent it. But the comment he made in passing, not realizing the way it would land with some of us listening through the Zoom call, made me suddenly more engaged in the dull conversation about Fitzgerald’s writing style.

He made a comment, though I cannot remember specifically the poetic way my teacher naturally worded it (I’ve always been jealous of that innate ability, you know, naturally being able to make things sound greater than they are), about how people generally view the past through rose-colored lenses. That’s why we never know that we’re in the “good old days” until we’ve actually left them. He went on to make an analogy about how Gatsby yearned to go back to his life with Daisy and how that was ultimately his downfall, but I was half-listening to that part.

This simple concept made me sit back and think about what it meant. I’m only still a teenager, but the amount of times I’ve gotten sad late at night about how much I miss the way things used to be, is actually astonishing. If I had a dime for the number of times I’ve said “I wish I could go back to freshman year,” I would be living in Gatsby’s mansion myself. But in reality, as much as I glorify my freshman year of high school in my mind, there are so many things that I’m overlooking to do so. In the fall of 2018, the start of my high school career, I was probably in the lowest place of my life following my grandmother’s death, in the winter I was working a job that I hated, and in the spring, I’m surprised the stress of finals didn’t eat me alive. But, looking back now, it was one of the best years of my life. Our brains are programmed to only see life as a huge highlight reel, only, when quickly reflecting, showing us the best moments that brought us joy. It’s almost like a built in safeguard, protecting us from reliving our lowest, darkest hours.

With the chaos that has been 2020, I find myself reminiscing in the past and longing to go back at least once a day. Especially when those “one year ago today” notifications pop up in my Snapchat memories at the absolute worst times possible. But every time I feel myself missing the person I used to be or the life I used to have, I remember that line from my English teacher. Obviously, it wasn’t anything Earth-shattering and is probably common knowledge to most, but it reminds me that one day, whether that be in one year or ten, I will be looking back on today wishing I could go back. This will one day be “the good old days.” It reminds me that if I live in the present wishing it was the past, I’ll never grow or make new memories, but just sit around and feel bad for myself. And if there is one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I’m not the self-pity type.

Since this realization of mine, I’ve tried to talk my friends into adopting this new mentality. Especially my best friend, who, almost like clockwork, calls me at 2 am crying every night about how we’re all growing up too fast and how she wants to rewind the hands of time. Now trust me, losing my junior year of high school to a pandemic isn’t easy on any of us, but she has taken it especially hard. During one of these early morning phone calls, I told her the story of my English teacher and this rose-colored lens theory. I thought I had gotten through to her until I heard the faint buzz of my phone on the nightstand the following night. Like I said, clockwork.

Well, let’s just say I’ve since given up on getting through to her. Sometimes people need time to come to realizations on their own. But, I have seen a noticeable difference in my own mood and the way I view those little failures that used to keep me up at night. I’m less likely to dwell on a test I didn’t get a perfect score on, an interview that I sort of bombed, or a deadline I missed. Because at the end of the day, I’ll only remember the night out I had with my friends after that test, the movie night with my family after the interview, and the lesson I learned from missing that deadline.

Highlighting the good in our past experiences can be a great thing. I’m not trying to say it’s not. But maybe next time you find yourself wishing you could go back, truly think about not only the not so picture-perfect aspects of that period in your life, but the person you would be giving up to do it. I don’t know about you, but the person that I’ve become today is someone I’m proud of, and it is a reflection of not only the good, but the whole lotta bad I’ve overcome. I say that I want the past back, but if truly given the option, I know that I wouldn’t take it.

If you take anything away from this long-winded insight into my mind, let it be that one day, you will wish you are exactly where you are now, telling stories of the moments you didn’t spend wishing you could go back. And also, maybe to listen to your English teachers more often.