Stoicism and Anger
By: Milenko Budimir
Tags: Stoicism, Anger, Philosophy

Stoicism and Anger

Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

It’s certainly true that Stoicism is having a moment. Stoic philosophy has received a lot of media coverage recently, thanks in no small part to the coronavirus pandemic that has altered life literally all over the world.

A slew of articles have appeared not only on Medium’s Stoic page such as this article expounding a Stoic perspective on COVID-19, or this piece at the Modern Stoicism web site; but also in mainstream media outlets such as this Guardian piece advising us how to stay calm during the crisis using Stoic principles and Donald Robertson’s take on Marcus Aurelius’ example during pandemic times.

All of them expound on how principles of ancient Stoic philosophy, as well as its updated contemporary variants, can help us cope with this new world we find ourselves in. Lending Stoic philosophy even more credibility is the fact that the last of the ancient Stoics, the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, himself lived and wrote during one of the most devastating plagues of the ancient world. Known as the Antonine plague, it’s estimated to have killed tens of millions of people across the Roman Empire.

So why the sudden interest? I’d argue that there’s a reason why Stoicism has piqued the interest of so many in a world that seems to be spinning rapidly out of control; it works.

More so than other ancient philosophies, Stoicism (especially the later Stoa) concerned itself with practical matters, with putting the philosophy one learns into practice in the real world.

Here’s Epictetus speaking to this point:

Those who receive the bare theories immediately want to spew them, as an upset stomach does its food. First digest your theories and you won’t throw them up. Otherwise they will be raw, spoiled, and not nourishing. After you’ve digested them, show us the changes in your reasoned choices, just like the shoulders of gymnasts display their diet and training, and as the craft of artisans show in what they’ve learned.(Discourses, 3.21.1–3)

Epictetus

Theory is great, but give me praxis. Show me how it works in the real world, and more importantly how I myself can apply a principle or a practice, and I’ll judge if it’s effective or not. That’s one of the things I appreciated about Massimo Pigliucci’s book How to be a Stoic. It was filled with examples from the author’s life showing how he effectively put Stoic principles into practice. (The story about his stolen wallet on a subway in Rome stuck with me and aptly illustrated how he handled the situation as a Stoic would.)

Dealing with Anger

Along those lines, here’s something that happened to me recently that gave me the chance to put the philosophy I’d been studying for a while now to good use.

I live in an older inner-ring suburb of Cleveland where the houses are fairly close together with back yards about 60 ft deep. A 6-ft wooden fence divides my back yard from my neighbor’s. There are small trees and shrubs growing on either side; some in my yard, some in his. Each spring before the trees bloom we trim branches as needed. This year was no different. So far, so good.

One day as I stepped outside to take my daily walk around the block (a new and healthy pandemic ritual), I saw two piles of cut branches in my back yard. Most importantly, I hadn’t put them there. My first thought was “I can’t believe it!” My neighbor had come into my yard without checking with me, trimmed branches from my tree, and left them in piles in my back yard!

I felt myself growing angrier by the minute. “Who does something like that?” I thought. I looked over the fence to see if he was outside so I could confront him, but there was no one there. Confused, puzzled, and with the growing feeling that a great harm had been done to me, I went for my walk instead.

Walks are great for cooling off and thinking through problems. And sure enough, I recalled Epictetus:

What upsets people is not things themselves but their judgments about the things.” (Encheiridion, 5)

As I walked, I went over the details of what I’d seen and how to react. I had all sorts of thoughts, some not exactly motivated by reason or greater understanding. But I also tried to think of alternate scenarios. I also considered that maybe the pandemic and living under the stress of the stay-at-home orders had short-circuited some cognitive processes in my brain, making me more irritable and prone to react instantly instead of taking a more measured approach.

Once again, Epictetus:

From the start, then, work on saying to each harsh appearance, ‘You are an appearance, and not at all the thing that has the appearance.’ (Encheiridion, 1)

Beyond merely recognizing appearances as such, they should also be examined carefully. We don’t want to be carried away by false impressions, causing us to take some action that we may later regret. Epictetus instructs us to go further:

First off, don’t let the force of the impression carry you away. Say to it, ‘hold up a bit and let me see who you are and where you are from — let me put you to the test’ (Epictetus, Discourses, 2.18.24)

As night fell, I looked to see if my neighbor was outside so I could talk to him and see if we could clear things up. No luck. I thought, “Let me sleep on it and I’ll figure out what to do in the morning.”

And in the morning, it all became suddenly clear. I remembered that I’d seen a cable company truck parked in the street earlier that morning before I’d gone out for my walk. And now, sipping my coffee while starring out the kitchen window into the back yard, I could see the spots on my oak tree that had been cut. All of them were near the cable company lines running into my house. So, it wasn’t my neighbor after all, as I had assumed yesterday when I first saw those piles of branches, but workers from the cable company doing routine spring tree trimming.

Now, had I talked to my neighbor the day before, chances are pretty good that my misunderstanding would’ve been cleared up fairly quickly. My initial judgment based on that first impression was clearly incorrect, though I didn’t know it at the time. Still, I had enough presence of mind to at least hold off on taking any immediate action. That pause or “time out” I can attribute to Stoic principles like those advocated by Epictetus; they’ve made me more mindful and less reactive in the moment.

The Road Forward

These Stoic principles also form the basis for the method of modern psychotherapy known as cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. In fact, the case outlined here illustrates both substantive parts of that method: the cognitive (the thought processes including judgments) and the behavioral (how we act based on our thoughts.) (Read more about the link between Stoicism and CBT here.)

Of course, the fact that that initial impression even lead me to that initial (false) judgment shows that I’ve still got a ways to go toward something like the Stoic ideal of the sage. Which, in fact, is more of an unattainable ideal than an actual state embodied in a real, live human being. Either way, it shows that I’m on the road, but that there are still plenty of bumps along the way.