James Bond Martini
By: Deekshita Gupta
Tags: Dad, Cocktails, Comedy, Funny, Parents

So, I have a hard drink or two when I am with my friends in college, occasionally. My parents know that and I can say that they are chill about this because my dad too drinks sometimes. But when it comes to having drinks with him, this is what happens:

Me: Dad, can I have a drink too? It’s been months now…

Dad: Umm(with a lot of hesitation)… Yeah, sure!

(He makes a drink with 20mL Vodka for me instead of 30mL and that’s okay as long as I can get another drink.)

After that drink,

Me: Can I have one more please (puppy eyes)?

Dad: No no! No need to drink all this. All this is not good for health. (While sipping his third drink…)

This is the usual story, so I avoid drinking at home. But just last week, we went to dinner with some relatives. I was sitting alongside my mom and my dad and uncle were about to order their drinks. So, suddenly my mom turns to me and asks,” Do you wanna have a drink too?” I was so damn shocked. I could not even the least imagine my mom offering me that. To that, my instant reaction was, “Am I even allowed to have a drink?” She said, “Yeah! Go ahead. You too should have some fun.” I still felt as if she was being sarcastic, so I changed the topic. Soon after this, my dad calls me to ask if I want a drink. I could not believe what I was hearing and thought to myself, “I don’t know what’s happening but why not try something new if they are actually offering?”

So, I asked for the drinks menu and I jumped directly to the cocktails section. I was trying to find a cocktail with Vodka in it (because that’s what I like). I came across this drink named “James Bond Martini” and ordered it. The name’s interesting, no? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Martini is a kind of white wine (which I’d never tried before this). And my dad was like, “I’ll have the same as hers.” We took our first sip of this drink and found out that it was very strong (or putting it simply, it was bitter). He said, “Deekshi, what is this? This is so strong” and I nodded because yes it was strong but I was honestly enjoying it (it was after a very long time that I had a drink). After about half of his drink, he turned to me again and said, “Why did you have to order this?” I was like, “I ordered it for myself. You should’ve ordered something else for yourself instead of this” (but I obviously said none of this to him, instead, “It isn’t that bad.”) To this, he said, “Oh come on! You don’t have to lie. I know you too don’t like it because otherwise you would’ve finished it by now.” It would’ve started a long discussion if I told him the actual reason of drinking slow (that I know you won’t let me have another one after this, so I have to savour this one), rather I just grinned.

After a couple more sips, he asked me if I wanted to add some cold drink to my drink and I said yes. “This is much better”, he said after drinking some of his modified version of the Martini. Before the last sip of drink, “Yay!! Just one last sip and I’ll be done” and once he finished it, “Ugh! I have finally finished that horrible cocktail of yours.” This last bit was said to me with an expression which was so funny, that even though he hated that drink, I enjoyed it even more. The moral of the story is that you should only order the drink which you like and not trust other’s choices, unless you are ready to have as horrible an experience as my dad did (XP).