God is like
By: Rare Ranger
Tags: Faith, Christianity, Struggling, Hope

…there was a man who was lost. He was lost once before, but, had after that, been asured of his being found. And he himself was sure that it was so, that he had been found. But he had false notions of what it meant to be “found”.

He thought it mean’t that all his troubles and fears and even his past would be swept away with. That those things would be no more and that a new chapter in his life had begun. But as we all know, all good books have chapters that follow with the narative and plot of the previous chapters (don’t they). A new chapter doesn’t mean a new book. And you won’t understand the current chapter if you’ve skipped all of the past ones.

And in God’s world, things must be resolved. Usually one by one. No shortcuts, at least none that I know of. It was a new chapter. Yes. And there had been changes. Important changes. Eternal changes even.

But some things hadn’t changed. Some things would take time. Some things would take…..work. How I wish it wasn’t so. I have nothing against work. Give me a shovel and I’ll dig. But it feels like the ground is made out of titanium sometimes, and that the more I dig, the more dirt keeps piling up.

How many times I’ve heard the songs that say “one step forwards, two steps back”. 2020 is the first year I can say I finally understand what those words mean. There’s this song by Coldplay with the title “U.F.O.” with these words:

“Lord I don’t, know which way, I am going, which way the river’s gonna flow. It just seems that upstream I keep rowing, still got such a long way to go.”

It does feel like I’m rowing upstream a very large river. And rowing upstream ain’t easy. But the thing is, everytime I run out of strength, well this amazing thing happens. I have read so many stories about how God always comes through, but men, I hadn’t experienced it the way I have this year.

Hands down, no competition, 2020 has been the worst year of my life. I feel like I’ve been treading water in a storm for most of the year. And everytime I run out of strength, and I’m certain that I’m gonna drown, God shows up. Like a life jacket, keeping me afloat. (Funny thing, I literally almost drowned this year for the first time in my life. Gonna be taking a break from the ocean. Maybe there’s a reason we don’t have gills? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Makes me think of Peter when he had Jesus call him out onto the water.

“Matthew 14:25–31(NIV): Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” 28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” 29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

So Peter walks on water here in this passage. Then he begins to sink. But he doesn’t sink. “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.” This has been feeling like the year where I’ve been caught by his hand many, many times. I’m still alive, and more importantly, I still have my faith.

But maaaaaan, I hate feeling like I’m treading water all the time. Maybe I’m looking at the storm too much, and not enough to Jesus. Things seem so simple sometimes in literary form.

Anyway, so long as I’m still alive I’ll do what I can to bare witness to my savior. Cause, I guess, that’s my job.