Why Dating During a Pandemic is a No-Go
By: Trish Kelly
Tags: Breakups, Pandemic Diaries, Dating, Relationships Love Dating, Pandemic Dating Diaries

We’ve all been through a lot over the past year. Jobs have been lost, office life has come to a screeching halt, and relationships have been put to the test. It seems like most straight couples have either gotten pregnant or broken up in 2020. I fall into the latter category.

Here’s the gist of the relationship I got out of in early October. We met on a dating app and started seeing each other in November of 2018, which, at this point, feels like a lifetime ago. I wasn’t all that into him at first but he was insistent and intense. In hindsight, he love bombed me, but in the moment it felt good to be wanted.

Anyway, his pursuit ended up working and by early March he asked me to be exclusive and I said yes. We had one super fun night out together where I met all his friends and just a few days later Toronto was fully shut down. Our relationship was doomed.

We didn’t know each other well enough to be able to navigate the intricacies of seeing each other when you’re supposed to be socially distant. He was pretty needy and I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Eight months later — we were broken up. It’s hardly surprising when you consider the fact that 70% of straight unmarried couples break up within the first year. Add a global pandemic on top of that and we had zero chance.

After many months (or what felt like many — pandemic time is weird)of reflection, personal growth, and focusing on myself I feel like I’m in a healthy enough place to start dating again, but I’m not going to. I don’t want to date during a pandemic that’s only going to get worse. Here’s why:

History Repeating Itself

After everything I went through can you really blame me for not wanting to put myself through that again? I don’t think I can stomach another breakup during quarantine and there’s a good chance that history would repeat itself. Things are getting worse in Toronto right now, not better.

A False Sense of Closeness

When you go through life-altering events with someone it can create a false sense of closeness. It goes without saying that a global pandemic falls into the category of life-altering events. I don't want to invest my time and emotions into someone only for nothing to come of it when this all comes to an end.

Who really knows how people are going to act when this is all over? My theory is that people are going to be wild and free and reckless. Any relationship they considered pursuing during quarantine will probably be put on the back burner. There’s a reason the Roaring Twenties happened after the 1918 pandemic.

The Logistics of My Living Situation

Like many millennials, I’m living at home to save money. I do live in a city with the third biggest housing bubble in the world, after all. I could definitely afford to move out, but why would I cram myself in an apartment with god knows who during a health crisis? It’s just not worth it. Not even to have my own personal space and a potential partner sooner rather than later.

At this point, dating seems like it would cause more harm than good. I also don’t want to jump through hoops and put my health and my family’s health at risk for someone who I’ve only chatted to online. It’s so not worth it. Even though being single during this time is really boring, it’ll have to do for now.