Getting a Glimpse of Your Own Funeral: Reflections from a Recipient of a Medical GoFundMe Campaign
By: Joanne Falvai
Tags: Cancer, Gratitude, Hope, Gofundme, Brain Cancer

I was just diagnosed with brain cancer; I haven’t even started treatment yet. A week ago a friend finally convinced my husband and I to allow her to set up a GoFundMe page for us. Just a couple of days into it I woke up early — before the kids were up and wrote down these thoughts. I shared them the next day and it seems they resonated with a lot of people. I wanted to share them here, in case they touched you as well.

Being the recipient of a GoFundMe campaign is a bit like getting a glimpse of your own funeral, only better. Most importantly, you haven’t died — and subsequently, you get to enjoy the gathering. The sincere hope is that you won’t die and people have poured their love and their hard-earned money into a community pot that is meant to help you come through the difficult time you are facing. The beautiful thing is, this community is yours — it has been built up over your lifetime and it is filled with people that have entered — and sometimes exited — your life a long time ago. But here is the thing, within a few hours and days, they have all shown up for you. Word got to them somewhere, somehow and suddenly there they are — from all the corners of your community to your old hometown. People from your work, some you only know from email, have dropped in to let you know they are thinking about you. If you happen to be a teacher like I am, your students run to your side — alerting each other like wildfire — sending you into tears with each new name that appears. Your partner’s people gather here too, letting both of you know that they heard the news and they are here. And then suddenly you realize that your people have brought their friends and family with them! You look up names that aren’t familiar only to discover that they are a friend-of-a-friend, someone you may have met at a party once, or perhaps not at all. Total strangers have joined your community, along with people who prefer to support you anonymously.

It is a lot to take in. You use words like overwhelming to describe how you feel about what’s happening. And after some reflection, I’d like to say that this experience feels like being blasted with love. GoFundMe is a love blast! It is not subtle, it does not slowly envelope you — it hits you hard and fast and it doesn’t give up. The love just keeps coming. You start back at the bottom and read the names over again, you handwrite them out for yourself and you get blasted with unimaginable love, compassion and tenderness all over again. Your friends and family reach out to you in tears — they are so moved by the support for you and it occurs to you that they are being blasted by the love too. They see some of their community there, by showing up for you — their people have shown up for them. Your colleagues find each other on the page and your students see their classmates. Suddenly, we are all in the this together — one big community, connected to one another, blasting each other with our love. So this is me, and Mark, and our family, blasting our love back out to you, letting you know we see you here and we appreciate that you came to this gathering. Your generous support is easing our tremendous burden and we are deeply grateful for you.

All my love,

Joanne