What makes us unhappy?. Happiness is a term that has different…
Tags: Jealousy, Happiness, Competion, Sadness

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Happiness is a term that has different definitions. Seeing it through the lens of mysticism, the great mystic Rumi claims happiness is the presence of love in one’s life. He quotes “It is love that brings happiness to people. It is love that gives joy to happiness.” Psychology says satisfaction and consciousness of a good life. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a positive psychology researcher, gives happiness a boundary in her book, “The how of Happiness as “The experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” Every field of life offers a different definition in its context.

Though there is not a single definition that contours the wholeness of the term “happiness”, since its flexibility is enormous. The question is how we try to bring happiness in to or drag it out of our lives.

Going a few decades back when technology had not made its way to the people yet, people were zealous about their lives, and their affirmative attitude towards life was conspicuous. People were satisfied and contented, and fortune was to be seen everywhere. Here I don’t mean that the reason for increasing unhappiness is the arrival of technology but what I mean is its usage that has changed everything.

Materialistic happiness

Let’s have a glance at the present situation, which is quite diametrically opposite of the joyous past. If we further plunge into the present scenario, it is austere. The reason for such a painful condition is people are locating happiness in material means such as money, expensive cars, luxurious lifestyle and much more.

Material things are supposed to be the source of contentment that people chase. People desire to live a life full of luxuries, and there is no wrong in desiring such a life but finding happiness in these things is somehow not conducive to lead a happy and prosperous life. There other factors affecting happiness in our life.

Happiness in conquering and defeating

One of the most crucial factors I see is competition. We are in an illogical competition with our fellow beings. An unending competition that is regularly consuming the values and norms of society. This competition is everywhere in schools, colleges, offices, and even in the neighbourhoods. Regardless of the relation with the supposed competitor, whether it’s our brother, sister, or a friend, we are ready to show him/her the eternal defeat.

The trend of competition is severe in educational institutions where every year, many students take their lives unable to make their standing in the so-called educational competition. This trend shows not only us but our coming generations are going to be the victims of this destructive process. Such behaviour towards life and society keeps us at continuous restlessness. We never get the desired satisfaction. Hence, the result comes in the shapes of sadness and melancholy.

There is a fascinating story from African culture, “Ubuntu” which conveys a message that competition only leads to sadness and destruction of the positive development of society.

An anthropologist proposed a game to African tribal children.

He placed a basket of sweets near a tree and made the children 100 meters away. Then announced that whoever reaches it first would get all the sweets in the basket when he said “ready steady go!”

Instead of competing with each other, they held each other’s hands and ran towards the basket full of sweets. They divided all the sweets equally among themselves, ate the sweets, and enjoyed them.

When the anthropologist asked them why they did so, they answered “Ubuntu” which meant “How can one be happy when the others are sad?”

The meaning of Ubuntu in their language was “I am because we are.” Ubuntu can be a magic word for all of us to grab each other’s hand run toward the thing which can bring us ultimate happiness and positivity to our area. And that is unity.

Jealousy eats happiness

The other factors affecting the happiness to be seen among us are envy and jealousy. We are not ready to accept the advantages enjoyed by others. Finding happiness in the happiness of others has just remained an object in fantasy. Instead, we keep ourselves on the fire for a reason others are happy, or we want to deprive them of their happiness. Society has been deployed with envy, discontent, deception, and ignorance.

Bertrand Russell in his essay, The Conquest of Happiness quotes that “I believe this unhappiness to be very largely due to mistaken views of the world, mistaken ‘ethics, mistaken habits of life, leading to the destruction of that natural zest and appetite for possible things upon which all happiness, whether of men or animals, ultimately depends.”

We are forgetting the ultimate goals of our society and entering into an era where there will be a war of wrongly perceived ideas of a happy life. We need to ponder upon this severe matter on which, our future depends.