Medium Writers! Here Are My Resolutions for YOU in 2021
By: Roz Warren
Tags: Writing Tips, Roz Warren, Humor, Resolutions, Writing On Medium

Medium Writers! Here Are My Resolutions for YOU in 2021

Photo by Yvonne Assen on Unsplash

Hey Medium Writers — here are the changes I’d like to see you make in 2021!

If You Can’t Be Kind, Don’t Comment. I’m not talking about constructive criticism. I’m talking about trolls, mansplainers, body-shamers, the privilege police, rabid right-wingers, and anybody else who wants to rain on my Medium parade. If you disagree with what I’ve said? Why not write your own post on this topic rather than dumping on mine?

Stop Posting About How Much Money You Are Or Are Not Making on Medium Unless you Actually Have something Useful (Or Amusing) to Say About This Topic. (Trust me. You Probably Don’t.)

Stop including me in Tag Blankets. There is nothing more thrilling than being tagged by a fellow writer, and nothing more annoying than rushing to read their post, only to realize that you’re just one of a zillion writers they’ve tagged to create a fake stampede of readers to their work.

Only include me in a Tag Blanket if you want me to unfollow you and never read your work again.

Stop sending me direct links to your latest Medium Masterpiece. I don’t want to be bombarded with links all day. I know how to find your work if I want to read it.

People who Clap and Run? You touch down on my latest Medium Masterpiece not to read it but to give it 50 claps in the hope that I’ll reciprocate by actually reading your work? Cut it Out. Don’t clap for anything you haven’t actually taken the time and trouble to read

Stop Stealing My Stuff. Most Medium scribes are scrupulous about tagging and crediting any writer whose work has inspired them to create their own Medium Masterpiece. But to writers who simply parrot another writer’s post without giving them credit? We know who you are. We think you should stop.

Stop Using the Same 20 Stock Photos to Illustrate Your Posts. You know exactly which ones I mean. The happy girl. The shouting guy. And the rest of that small group of images you’ve viewed hundreds of times this year and are throughly sick of. Can we give them all a rest in 2021?

Stop Padding Your Posts to Increase Your Read Time. Maybe it’s just my imagination but now that we’re getting paid for how long readers spend reading our posts — Medium posts are getting longer and longer. And longer. And longer. And longer and longer and longer see what I’m doing to make sure you stay on this page for as long as possible, thus increasing my Read Time without adding anything useful or entertaining to this post, simply making it longer and longer and longer? If you’ve written a fabulous three minute post? Please don’t turn it into a boring 12 minute post.

No More Humble Brags on Medium Facebook Groups! “Wow guys! Gosh looky here, I just got Curated. I am posting this link to my newly curated piece to inspire you to similar greatness.” No, you’re not. You’re posting it to draw attention to yourself and get more reads, and you’re not fooling anybody.

Stop responding to the work of other writers by dropping links to your own work. Responding to my latest Medium Masterpiece with “I wrote about this too and here’s the link” is a transparent and unappreciated attempt on your part to siphon away my readers.

Attention Grammar Nerds! You are only welcome to correct another writer’s story if you’ve actually read the whole thing and clapped or commented, which demonstrates that you are acting in good faith and truly want to help.

Otherwise, you’re just some jerk playing gotcha.

Are you a Medium Moocher? Do you post on the platform to make money from our reads without being a paying member yourself? Maybe 2021 can be the year you finally play fair and pay up.

Finally — Ev Williams? How about adjusting the algorithm so that humorists, poets, cartoonists and photographers get paid more than pennies in 2021?

Best Wishes for a Happy 2021 to All of my Medium Friends!

( Writing Coach and Medium Sherpa Roz Warren writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, has been in 13 Chicken Soup for the Soul collections, and is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor . Drop her a line at roSwarren@gmail.com.)