4 Things to Remember When the World Seems to Go Against You
By: Margarette Mathias
Tags: Self Improvement, Startup, Life, Productivity, Personal Development

My family finds my major decisions odd and illogical. In return, it’s almost never that I get solid support from them.

Not that I got used to this treatment (maybe a little), but I realized that support is difficult to force out from people. It’s an exhausting and often unfruitful battle.

Instead, I looked at a different perspective which I will share with you today. I stopped begging for people’s support. Here are 4 things to remember when everyone seems to be against you.

1. Before others believe in you, you must believe in yourself.

Support starts within us. We see concepts, decisions, and principles but are imperceptible to others. We can’t expect them — even if they’re family or friends — to support us in the blink of an eye.

We need three things to prove belief in oneself: action, consistency, and confidence.

You must actualize your ideas. They are against your decisions because they haven’t had the proof that your plan works. So, in the beginning, you could only lean on yourself.

I processed the shifting papers despite my family, friends, and professors’ strong objection. I tell you, It’s a tough battle within strict Asian households. Not to mention, the gossiping community was equally ruthless. But I stood up for what I believed in — that Architecture, a course pushed on me, won’t be my lifelong profession.

Fast forward to today, my family and I live harmoniously. It’s like they never denounced my decisions. My “illogical” decision became normal. It was later on accepted and supported.

Believe in ourselves first, people then follow. No matter how long it takes for them to believe in you, the most important is that you believe in yourself first.

2. Let discouragements encourage you.

When someone doesn’t support you, it’s either of the two reasons. They believe:

your plan won’t work or

you can’t do it

Either way, these opinions only hurt if you take it as negative.

“Why did you take this course?” A classmate asked me. “You literally know nothing,” he chuckled.

It was because I shifted to Engineering — a “man’s course” — that he thinks he’s superior. I itched to give a sarcastic comeback, but I kept quiet.

It was true. I didn’t know anything, yet. So I’ve taken his comment quite seriously. I promised myself, “next time, he won’t be laughing.” It became one of my motivations.

While they played around, I studied. While they cheated, I strived to learn. Years later, I harvested the fruits of my determination. It wasn’t luck. I received awards and recognition. I got recommended to teach at the same university.

Despite the criticizing comment, I thank him. His words are still vivid. If not for those words, I wouldn’t work hard enough.

Let the discouragements pile up, and use them as batteries of motivation. These people, who try to tear us down, pave the path of our progress. The more they push us down, the more we fight harder to rise up.

Discouragements are opportunities to reflect on what we lack so we can work on it, and give a glamorous comeback.

3. There are billions of people who will listen to you.

We don’t force our ideas on everyone. But when someone rejects or opposes you, don’t immediately think he dislikes the idea.

If they dislike it the first time, fine. The second time, alright. But on the third time, we’ll never know. They might change their mind.

Milk tea, for example. It was an overrated trend in my country. For years, I avoided it. But when I got a taste of it once, hmm… It wasn’t that bad, but not satisfying either. However, it got me on the third cup. I craved for it ever since.

People often change their minds. One day, they hate it, the next day, they crave it. But what if they won’t ever lean on your decisions?

Don’t worry. There are two sides of a coin. There are debates that agree and disagree. There are celebrity fans and haters. There are people who love pineapples on their pizza. People have preferences and it’s normal to not please everyone.

However, I’m sure somebody on this planet would give their support on whichever decision you make. Everyone has that opportunity.

4. Focus on the work rather than the people.

You leaned on an uncommon decision because of a purpose. Now, make that happen. Drop the “why does no one support me” question. It’s narrow and too dramatic.

When no one supports you “here”, then go “there”. Find a different city, platform, group, circle, or organization. Build your dreams. Take responsibility. That’s when people gather around to take a peek.

Stop questioning why you’re not getting support. Rather, work on your decision and plans. Look for people who will listen. They are around the corner. Prove you’re capabilities, and people will come to you.

Here’s My Last Say

“The world is against you” is a profound perspective. Rather than looking at it negatively, start ripping the banner and see what’s behind it.

You’ll see multitudes of opportunities, support, and possibilities.

The world isn’t against you. What you see is only a minority, so don’t give up. Stand up for your decisions.