Why I’m Avoiding Being A Strong Black Woman
Tags: Black Women, Strong Women, Women, Growth, Empowerment

Why I’m Avoiding Being A Strong Black Woman Zanade Follow Jul 24 · 4 min read

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Let me say this on behalf of Black women in the United States who reject being a Strong Black Woman. We are tired. I cringe at the notion that Black women are tough creatures who can handle anything with the brute strength of The Black Panther. You know, the fictional character that saved the world?

Listen, I get it. Black women have overcome many obstacles and continue to break glass ceilings to make room for themselves and those who come after. In fact, throughout medical history Black women have contributed (oftentimes without consent) to the advancement of medicine through use of their bodies. i.e Henrietta Lacks. And, I find myself inspired by women like Bozoma Saint John who has situated herself in high ranking positions at Endeavor, Uber, PepsiCo, Apple, and now Netflix. As Saint John moves through the ranks seamlessly, I wonder if that makes her a strong Black woman? For the enslaved women who had their bodies sacrificed, does that make them strong Black women? And, what does it mean in our society to be strong and Black?

Merriam-Webster defines the word strong as

1: having or marked by great physical power

2: having moral or intellectual power

3: having great resources (as of wealth or talent)

4: of a specified number/an army ten thousand strong

5: striking or superior of its kind/not mild or weak

Defined in these terms you may think “Well, why would you not want to be a strong Black woman?” And, you would be right to feel that way but for some reason throughout history the label strong and Black became positioned as hard and devalued. Let me explain what I mean in terms that a Merriam-Webster reader would appreciate.

Throughout modern history it has been celebrated that Black women have done everything. We have organized and held down marches, created high growth television networks, birthed healthy children, nurtured communities, became the most educated people in the U.S., and bootstrapped enterprises to become the fastest growing group to start businesses in the U.S. We rock don’t we?

We’ve internalized sexism and racism during each of the accomplishments named above. I’m certain, Oprah Winfrey experienced both throughout her journey to eventually create OWN TV. Black women continue to birth healthy babies in spite of blatant health disparities and horrific pregnancy related deaths. In Chicago, where Black children are being gunned down, Black mothers of the community continue to cover the hearts of the oppressed and unprotected through Sunday dinners and full table laughter. Black women took higher education by storm and got their mind right in hopes of increasing their incomes and respectability. And, if that wasn’t enough they sat in their apartments and crafted micro-businesses often without business plans to outnumber all other women business owners.

Now, doesn’t that make us Strong Black Women?

No, that makes us vulnerable, unprotected, stressed out overachievers.

It takes great physical power to not breakdown. The intellect needed to maintain households, neighborhoods, businesses, and coursework concurrently is fascinating. However, Black women have done these things with little to no resources. As, I speak to numerous Black women business owners I realize they are literally making a way out of no way. As a teenage mother, I too made a way out of no way. The army is not there either, Black women have yet found safe spaces to come together sans elitism. And, no we have not become superiors of our kind. We all know who holds that trophy.

We are forging through this vicious cycle of others believing that we are so strong in the sense that we can do and handle anything based off of our achievements. Author Seanna Leath, writes about the harmful expectation of strength among Black women and girls “I find that many consider strength a birthright of Black womanhood. They view their survival amidst the legacies of slavery, colonialism, and disenfranchisement as a testament to the strength of Black women in U.S. society.”

Society pushes this physical and mental toughness on young Black girls, too. One study revealed that participants viewed Black women and Black girls lives interchangeably, meaning that there is no clear barrier of a Black girl having the liberties to be young, Black, and carefree. Instead both Black women and girls are likened to be strong, willing, and able.

We are human beings just like you. We hurt, we desire, we seek connection and want to exhale entirely.

So, where does a Black woman find joy within and without these variables?

Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

If we continue to push Strong Black Women narratives the answer will also be “I don’t know?”