Why I’m Done Telling My Eating Disorder Story
Tags: Feminism, Mental Illness, Eating Disorders, Body Image, Mental Health

Why I’m Done Telling My Eating Disorder Story

This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, and this year is my seventh year participating.

Usually, it’s a time for sharing personal stories of eating disorder struggles and messages of hope to show others that recovery is possible. But I don’t have much to share. My story feels over-told. It’s used up. I’m tired of telling it.

Why?

My eating disorder story is not relatable to most of the people in the audience for stories shared online.

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First of all, I was a child. I was in treatment from age eleven to age fourteen. I couldn’t really refuse help. My parents would have dragged me kicking and screaming into appointments.

I’m also a white, thin, cisgender female who grew up in a middle class family. I am the stereotypical poster-child for eating disorders that needs to be reimagined.

Now, at almost twenty-two, I consider myself 100% recovered. I struggled with binge eating for a while in college (which is common in those who previously suffered restrictive eating disorders), but never sought treatment for it, and I continue to exist in a thin body.

Anorexia nervosa may have technically left my life while I was still a teenager, but its mark can never be fully erased. The illness impacted my relationships and self-image for years to come, and will continue to do so, albeit in less noticeable ways.

Sometimes, it seems like my eating disorder happened in another life.

I feel disconnected from the nitty gritty details of my illness.

I feel that for the most part, my story is not serving anyone.

It was not intertwined with sexuality, gender dysphoria, or any other struggles. I was simply a girl with low self-esteem who took a diet too far.

I believe more layered stories and those from underrepresented individuals, is what the world needs more of this week.

After all, eating disorders are impacting different groups more so than the thin, white women we see in most books and movies.

In fact, trans youth are at an increased risk for eating disorder development — even compared to straight, cis women.

My advocacy during this week and throughout the year is something I will continue throughout my life. (You can check out my T-shirt fundraiser here). But my own story won’t be at the forefront of my work. There are other voices out there that need to be heard more than mine.

Here are a few of my favorites from the Medium community (Ciela Gonzalez, Devon Price, and Shannon Ashley):

If you are currently struggling, I hope you find a story that resonates with you. Because sometimes, reading someone else’s journey makes all the difference.