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You are parenting your remarkable 25-year-old adult right now!
By: Kathy Wyber
Tags: Parenthood, Parenting, Parents, Children, Parenting Advice

Everything we do now will affect our 25-year-old adult…ok, yes that’s a huge responsibility, and if you’re freaking out a little, I get it. I felt this immense pressure when my children were young too. The weight of being a parent and not wanting to screw up our kids is real. And if you’re thinking this right now, you are a great parent!

Getting our kids to clean their room, eat the dinner you have prepared for them, do their homework and not fight with their sibling all pales in comparison to who they will need to be when they are 25.

I feel I need to clarify. Firstly we don’t determine who our children will be. We are not deciding they will be a doctor. What I’m talking about are the character traits they will need to reach their potential.

I found that remembering I was parenting a 25-year-old adult allowed me to keep “the end in mind”. Keep the end in mind is the first success principle identified by Stephen Covey in his book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. And it applies to parents as well.

“Keep the end in mind”

In parenting, we must “keep the end in mind”, otherwise we can get caught up in the day to day grind. These simple questions can keep us on track…

Will this help my 25-year-old adult?

That is, is what I’m asking them to do helping develop the qualities they will need to be a professional adult who is a caretaker of our world?

And the second question; What are the qualities they will need to have to be a successful young adult?

Sharon Pearson founder of The Coaching Institute, in her book, “Ultimate You” starts with ten qualities that will allow our children to experience a fulfilling life and be a contributor to our world.

She refers to them as the “I-amness” traits…

Curiosity, Risk-taking, Spontaneity, Loving, Warm, Playful, Unique, Optimistic, Emotional and Resilience.

These qualities will lead our 25-year-old adult to have a real sense of self, where they feel centred, whole and empowered. They will lead them to know their worth and that they are enough.

Imagine if you felt that you were complete and enough to do whatever you wanted to do…

Can you imagine what you would have achieved?

And now that is all the potential and more for your 25-year-old child.

So how do we do this…start by noticing these qualities within them because the beauty of this is, the end and the start is exactly the same.

“the end and the start is exactly the same”

Your child already has these qualities. We just need to encourage them so our 25-year-old adult can live a life that can contribute and make our world a better place.
To My Unborn Son:
By: Zaire Brown
Tags: Black Men, Black Women, Parenthood, BlackLivesMatter

As much as I want you here, there are many people in this world who don’t. See, baby boy, your skin will inevitably be brown and brown skin has never been favored in this country (or this world for that matter). I want to give you joy & love, but I don’t want to subject you to the intrinsic hate this world has for you. You’ll learn far too early and far too well what hatred is. I don’t want to have to wipe away tears and erase your confusion when someone calls you a name that should have been eradicated long, long ago. I don’t want you to grow up not knowing how to deal with the torment you’ll face once you leave mommy’s arms. I don’t want you to be labeled with nouns and adjectives that subtract from the wonder that you are. I don’t want to have to fear for your life every time you step out of the door and I damn sure don’t want your life to be taken by the hands that were supposed to protect and serve. Baby boy, I don’t want anyone ever dimming your light and I don’t want you to ever feel unwanted. God forbid you begin to think, “that’s just the way it is and that’s the way it will always be”. I want you to be born into a world that loves you; a world where people will value you for who you are rather than what you can give them. Dear Son, I want you to love and to be loved. I wish this world wanted you as much as I do.
Launch of Parents Support Group SG
By: Kenneth Choo
Tags: Parenthood, Parenting, Motherhood, Fatherhood, Support Group

In 2019, I wanted to do something more for Parents in Singapore and I have started this Parents Support Group SG Facebook Group.

It aims to hold a session twice a month (one on a weekday evening & one on a weekend afternoon). To allow quality discussion and interaction, audience size will be limited to 20 pax so that we will have plenty of time to devote to addressing the challenges and struggles.

In Parents Support Group SG, we believe in ‘Parents helping Parents’ by sharing their stories/experience in a safe and non-judgmental setting. We know that it takes a village to raise a child and we want to help parents to build that village through Parents Support Group SG.

We hope that through these sessions, parents will be able to overcome their struggles and challenges in parenting.

We aim to uplift and inspire one another in this parenting journey.

In every session, we will try to invite a guest speaker to share on a topic that will help parents to overcome certain challenges or struggles in their parenting journey.

There will be a topic every month.

Parent Support Group SG Facebook Group aims to share, discuss and help one another to have a great parenting experience! This FB Group is set up to have our own ‘PSG village’ to help one another.

Details of every session will be updated in this Facebook group.

So if you are based in Singapore and is a parent, please come and join Parents Support Group.

Click HERE to request to join Parents Support Group Facebook Group

If you have any questions, please contact me at +65 91767914 or email him at kccreativem@gmail.com. Thank You.

#ParentsHelpingParents
Dear Children, You have ruined me.
By: Elysia Delovely
Tags: Parenthood, Poetry, Motherhood

Dear Children,

You have ruined me.

My body will never be the same. It has carried singles. It has carried multiples.

It is tired. All. The. Time.

There are bumps, lumps, and scars that I wear now. Sometimes I’m proud of them. Sometimes I grieve them because I know the cost.

My breasts, once full and pert, have been your comfort and your nourishment. Late nights, early mornings it was only us wrapped in the stillness.

While I struggled with insecurity and jealously guarded every single precious drop, you grew into a plump little cherub with rosy cheeks and a sneaky smile.

You have utterly ruined me.

My mind is no longer my own.

There are worries and fears that haunt me now. Like a ghost, the ‘what ifs’ play hide-and-seek and find their home in the cracks.

The years slip through my fingers like grains of sand and I wonder if I’m wasting it all.

Was I present enough?

Did I treasure the little things?

Will I remember the way you danced or how you lifted your arms and asked to be carried down the stairs because you didn’t want to walk?

The boo boos, broken bones, hurt hearts: I carry them all. They are mine now, too, in a way you will not understand until you, too, are ruined.

I have been lonely.

I have counted the hours until bedtime. Way more than once.

I have wanted to run away. Far away to a place where no one needs me or makes a mess I have to clean up.

But a life without messy hands, dirty floors, and chaos is a life without you, my dear.

And that simply will not do.

Here’s the secret.

Here’s the crux of my greatest joy and deepest sorrow.

You are written on the fabric of my heart.

The needle has plunged within and without, the scar tissue bears your name.

Just as the seasons are inevitable and the shore cannot hold the tide, so you are destined for your own ever after.

You, my dear, will have my heart until the Lord closes my eyes.

That’s what it is to be ruined.

I’d choose it again.

I’d choose you again.

Dear Children,

You have ruined me in the very best way.
A story a day
By: Rashmi Singh
Tags: Parenthood, Parenting, Family, Storytelling, Parenting Advice

Storytelling is the best way to communicate the ideas and values since centuries, even before books. Telling a story to a child helps in many ways. Firstly, child gets undivided attention from parents which is hard to get now a days (away from cell phones, laptops and emails). It improves their listening skills, concentration and memory. It also develops their logical reasoning, emotional intelligence, communication skills, creativity and imagination.

How I do it

By storytelling I don’t mean reading story but actually telling a story. It can be about any animal, person, ancient story, or even your own childhood story.

I maintain a repository of stories in my phone. Everyday I pick one story from the repository and read it. Once I finish reading it, I first try to understand myself and think different ways of narrating it to my child. I generally break it down into three different parts which includes

Beginning: In this section I talk about setup (for example, if the story is based on a jungle then I like to begin it like “Once upon a time there was a dense forest which had a lot of tall trees, a river was flowing, monkeys were playing, birds were tweeting, bunnies were running, elephants were giving shower to other animals” etc, be creative or ask them to add. Then, introduce the character and again give the background like what the character is doing, how was it there.

Action: Here the story starts building up, what character does and character runs into some kind of a problem. What character does to solve the problem, which thing worded for him which didn’t work for him. How did he finally solve it. Include the keywords like firstly, secondly, next then.

Closing: In this I talk about how what character learnt or felt.

At the end I ask my child to give a suitable title to the story, sometimes she comes up really good ones. It also helps me understand what is her take away from that story.

At bedtime I narrate that story to my daughter. She eagerly waits for her storytime now.

Conclusion

It is a beautiful experience for a child to grow up with the stories of mom and dad which they will cherish it for life. Today storytelling is much more relevant than before because of our busy lifestyle. This entire thing takes on thirty minutes of my time but the difference in my child’s emotional growth significant/ radical.

I am spending only thirty minutes but it’s good quality thirty minutes of the day. I can very well figure out what is happening in my child’s life, I can shape the thinking and thoughts, also my child has better control over her emotions now.

It is very easy, just “A story a day”. It can bring a big change in our child’s overall development and strengthening trust between parent and child.
Son, you are always the priority
By: Doug Daulton
Tags: Priorities, Parenthood, Work Life Balance, Pandemic, Kids

Teaching my kids work/life balance by example.

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash

I just had a conversation with my oldest, that I thought might be useful for other parents dealing with the two-headed COVID challenge of working from home while kids are schooling at home.

While my home office is in a separate space, a renovated tack room in an old barn, my kids are frequent visitors, especially this week while they are on spring break.

Most often, their visits are welcome and I can take a break. Still, I often have to establish and defend work/life boundaries. If I don’t, the work still needs to be done and my day just gets longer. This means I get less sleep, my health suffers and my mood is less than ideal. As a result, I am a less patient and effective Dad.

So, after kicking him out of my office with a funny but firm equivalent of “GTFO I have to work!”, I called him back into the office and said the following:

“Bud, I want to be clear about something. While I do enjoy my work, the reason I kick you out of my office is BECAUSE I love you, not because I would rather work than hang out with you. In fact, it is EXACTLY the opposite. I would much rather hang out with you … all day long and never work. My favorite thing to do is be your Dad. The problem is … if I don’t kick you out, I’ll spend 2 hours talking about Star Wars, comics, Legos and other stuff we enjoy. Teaching you stuff about life and doing fun stuff with you is always the best part of my day. Always. But, this work needs to be done. If it does not get done, then we don’t have a house, or food or a pack of wild hounds to curl up next to and watch TV with. If I let myself get too distracted, I then have to stay up late and deliver my work. If I don’t the job will go away and things become much harder for all of us. So, defending my time at work is actually defending my time with you, even though it may not seem like that in the moment. Always, always, ALWAYS remember, I’d rather hang with you than work.”

Then, I gave him a big hug.

My son has a huge heart. He feels everything deeply, more than most thirteen year old kids. I did not want him to think I valued work over him. When I was finished talking, his face lit up. He got it (he usually does) AND he knew how much I value and love him.

While my oldest wears his heart on his sleeve, every kid needs to know these things. As parents, we cannot assume they do. That is a trap.

Never forget to let them know they are ALWAYS the priority, even when you cannot make them so in the moment. Define their place in your priorities precisely.

Doing so serves them and it serves you. If you need to adjust, do it. Life is short and they are only with us like this for a very short time. Don’t waste it.

And, in the process of doing so, you model work/life balance for your kids. If that is one of the long term outcomes of this damn pandemic, then we’ll have turned lemons into lemonade.
Sperm Donor Named Legal Father In Landmark Ruling
By: Petia Hak
Tags: Sperm Donor, Parenthood, Family, Family Law, Fathers

Sperm donor is child’s legal father, Australian court rules

The Australian High Court has ruled that a sperm donor who was involved in parenting a child with his friend of 25 years is legally the child’s father, in a landmark case that could have implications for thousands of Australian families.

The ruling this morning, which overturned a decision of the full Family Court, could mean that single women who use known sperm donors and involve them in their children’s lives may find it impossible to exclude them from having parental rights.

No reason to panic

The legal dispute was triggered when the child’s mother and her same-sex partner tried to take the girl and her younger sister to live in New Zealand.

According to the High Court decision, the judge accepted that the 49-year-old Australian man had donated sperm to the girl’s biological mother in 2006 with the intention of raising the child together.

A lower court’s decision had previously ruled that the man was a “sperm donor” and should be denied of his status as a parent.

An Australian legal expert said that while the ruling shouldn’t be a reason to “panic” for future parents considering using a sperm or egg donor, it highlighted the need to be cautious.
Amal Totky: Growth mindset
By: Kashan Ali
Tags: Growth Mindset, Amal Totkay

“Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy the effort, and keep on learning.” (Carol Dweck)

A person with having a growth mindset always finds ways to reach success but on other hand, a person with having a fixed mindset will never be able to achieve his goals.

In order to be successful and to be recognized by the world as a leader, as an entrepreneur, As a motivated personality, you must have a growth mindset and have faith in yourself.

To be a world-known, personality, a person needs these 05 characteristics, which are as follow;

Self Talk

2. Get out of your comfort zone

3. Create New Habits

4. Ask people help

5. Fake it till you make it

let me explain these all, one by one so you can better understand all these points and have a clear understanding related to this.

1.Self Talk: it means how you communicate with yourself. how you made yourself do anything. how you’re motivating yourself towards anything. it all depends on you.

Example; if you talk to yourself and think “ I can not write 500 words blog” or “ I cannot solve this particular mathematics problem” so you’re mind will do the same thing and you will feel it like a mass hurdle.

2. Get out Of your comfort zone: you can not be able to achieve anything, without pushing yourself. Putting yourself in a situation, where you don’t have any other option and you have to learn new things on your own. it will help a person to analyze new things.

Example: If I don’t have any experience related to decision making and management style, that how to lead a group of people, so I must push myself to learn new techniques to handle and resolve issues.

3.Create new habits: Develop new habits and work on productive things. every day make yourself a better version of your own. Do some creative and innovative things and activities so your brain becomes more powerful, in creation.

Example: Learn new courses, watch ted talks, and do brainstorming activities.

4.Ask people help: Although this needs courage, it’s really important. you can ask people to give you feedback related to your interactions, your communication e.t.c, you can ask them about how a person can be more productive?

Examples; I can ask my mentor, my friends, to share honest opinions about my work and what sort of changes I can do in this particular activity.

5.Fake it till you make it: You must do an experiment on your new beliefs so you can better know about your potential. In this way, you can analyze your confidence.

My Favourite TIP: All the tips are most important but I like to push myself out of my comfort zone because that’s necessary to learn new things. If you’re not able to push yourself towards learning then your mind will be stuck and your growth will stop at a point. I push myself saying that if whether this new thing did not help me so I’ll use this to help others in a way. I’m implementing this 2nd tip in my life.

Conclusion: you can never succeed without having a growth mindset.
Developing a Growth Mindset
By: Saira Saeed
Tags: Amal Totkay

Developing a Growth Mindset

Difference B/W Growth and Fixed Mindset

“The mind is just like a muscle — the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand.”

Mindset is an approach to determine the ability of a person to solve a problem or to grow up in his field or to check the leadership qualities. There are two types of Mindset. One is Fixed mindset and the other is Growth mindset. These two types are quite different from each other. Let’s have a small view on both types.

Fixed mindset is a type of mindset which accepts no change. A person having a fixed mindset is a person having no mission in his life. He has been locked his mind on some specific things and he never gonna change his mindset.

On the other hand Growth mindset is a type of mindset which always accepts change. A person having a growth mindset lives a life full of joy. He always accepts challenges and tries to find out any solution for each problem he faces. Here are some Amaltotaky which are shared below to develop a growth mindset.

Self Talk

Self Talk

Get out of your Comfort Zone

Get out of your Comfort Zone

Create New Habits

Create New Habits

Ask People for Help

Ask People Help

Fake it Till You Make it

Fake It Till You Make It

Reflection On Amal Totaky :

How did they find the tips?

They find these tips by observing problems and while thinking about the solutions.

2.What are their Takeaways?

A man himself can not learn better. Civilization and society teach him. So their takeaways are interaction with the people.

3.What were your favorite tips?

Ask people for help is my favorite tip.

4.What have you started implementing already?

I just started to get out of my comfort zone.

5.What can you do to develop a Growth Mindset beginning from today?

The first thing I have to do is to talk to myself on a daily base.
Reflection on Amal Totkay
By: Dure Najoom Bazgha
Tags: Positive Thinking, Amal Academy, Amal Totkay, Amal Fellowship, Amal Family

Amal helps me to become a positive person. The most important thing I like In Amal is positivity in each and every step. And to learn from each aspect of your life. If someone thinks that he has learnt every thing then he will have nothing to do in life. So, it`s necessary to develop a growth mindset.

SELF TALK

It`s really important to talk to yourself as you are only your good friend. You are the only person who know about you. So always teach yourself positivity.

I can relate this to me as I often do it and by doing this conversation, I improve myself too much

HAVE A NICE CONVERSATION TO YOURSELF!

GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

As we know you cannot achieve anything until you work hard for it. here Amal principle of progress applies,

KAM KAM KAM!

Try to challenge yourself, actually you have to compete yourself not to others

CREAT NEW HABBITS

If you develop a new habit daily, after 1 week you have 7 new positive habits in you and it`s really a big change in yourself. So, don`t stress yourself just take baby steps and achieve your goals.

ASK PEOPLE HELP

It has a great worth that people give you constructive feedback. Ask your fellows for help if you need it and don`t take their feedback and comments personal. Keep this in mind and constantly improve yourself because

AK UR AK GIYARA!

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

If you want to develop any quality in you that act like this or try to behave like this. This implements to me; I want to be happy and for this I pretend that I am happy and I live happy:)

THANKS!
AMAL TOTKAY(Growth Mindset Toolkit)
By: Raza Ali
Tags: Amal Totkay, Growth Mindset, Amal Academy

No matter what, people grow. If you chose not to grow, you’re staying in a small box with a small mindset. People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it. — Kevin Hart

For those who choose to grow, nothing can break their confidence in order to achieve anything. People with a growth mindset, believe in their selves no matter how many times they fail or how many hardships they faced, they will definitely achieve their goals.

By attempting many mindset surveys, I get to know that I am more in a Fixed mindset that keeps pulling me back. During Amal Fellowship, I have been introduced to these 5 Amal Totkays to develop a Growth Mindset:

01) Self Talk:

This is one of my favorites. Conversations with ourselves have a direct influence on our mindset. Our thoughts create our reality whether it is negative or positive, we are the reflection of our own thoughts. If you have a fixed mindset it will hold you back from the life you want.

To upgrade your mindset, positive self-talk is necessary because it empowers us. Do tell yourself that “YOU CAN DO THIS, NO ONE CAN STOP YOU”.

Some of the healthy self-talk is shown in the picture.

02) Get Out of your Comfort Zone:

Fixed mindsets are always in their comfort zone they never come out and they accepted the way they are. For a Growth Mindset, test yourself by putting yourself in difficult situations where you have no choice but to rise and that is the point where the change begins.

“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

― Roy T. Bennett

03) Create New Habits:

Try to implement more healthy and productive habits in your daily day routine because it helps to change your mindset. Learn new things on daily basis or make a proper schedule for learning.

Noting your daily learning and achievements every day also changes your mindset as well.

04) Ask People Help:

Find your closest ones, the ones that you have trust in them, and ask them how you are changing in terms of functioning and interacting with people. Their constructive feedback is more valuable that whether you are on the right path or not.

05) Fake It till you Make it:

According to the Law of Attraction Movement, positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences in someone’s life. Faking it for the good reason can change you for the better. Acting as if you were confident and competent in an area where you are not exactly in reality but will eventually lead to improved confidence and competence.
Amal totkay..
By: Farwa Noor
Tags: Amaltotkay

Amal totkay..

This one is interesting although everything is going interesting but I love these totkay … it helps to improve our mindsets all of us get benefits from these totkays …

1: self talk

So before revealing any idea first you should to talk with your self.. is it acceptable in our society or is it a need of this time… what is innovative in your idea.

Or is you can do this or not

2: Get out from the comfort zone

If you want to do something new or something unique you should to leave your comfort zone it may be day or night work to achieve your goals .. so you should to go with it… everything that will give you comfort, you need to expel out it from your life.. than you will be succeed

3: create new habits

As we are belongs to poor nation just because of we all do work in our comfort zone first of all we need to change this habit .. than find all your bad habits that give you distraction in your work change it into good ones … If your habit is too sleep late and get up in late morning and your business idea needs to woke up early so you should to change it

4: Ask people for help

When you get work on your plan you need to test it by getting help from other people… with their feedback you know about is it unique or interesting for people.

5: Fake it till you make it

This is very important step .. untill or unless you get achievement in your goal you need to do work … work work and only work is your sloghan for getting achievement..

Thank you Amal 💖
Amal came up with a great idea and, above all, a great name — Amal Totkay.
By: Muhammad Jahanzaib
Tags: Amal Totkay

Amal came up with a great idea and, above all, a great name — Amal Totkay. The five tips to develop a growth mindset are self-talk, get out of your comfort zone, create new habits, ask people for help and fake it till you make it. For me, these tips are always important to think big. Moreover, it entails all the principles of Amal; most of the tips revolve around Amal (action) and Khudi. So, it tells that if we adopt two things in our lives (Amal and Khudi), we can do wonders. Growth mindset, entrepreneurial mindset and millionaire mindset all have Amal and Khudi in common.

Self-talk is one of the main and important tips. Only you are the one who knows you better than anyone; you know what you are capable of; you are the biggest motivator of yourself; you are the one to whom you listen to the most. Having said that, talk to yourself and convince yourself that you can do anything that you want to. You are the one who can convince yourself to have a growth mind and work for the goals with more dedication. Hence, self-talk is imperative to have and it’s the first thing you should adopt before proceeding with anything else.

I also talk to myself quite often and I believe in getting out of the comfort zone. I am still struggling to get out of the comfort zone because I sometimes lose my confidence. However, I am already practising the aforementioned Totkays.
Amal Totkay
By: Muhammad Mubashir
Tags: Amal Academy, Totkay, Amal Totkay, Amal Fellowship, Growth Mindset

Amal Totkay includes five tips that help us to develop our growth mindset. These tips include Self-talking, getting out of your comfort zone, creating new habits, asking someone for help, and fake it till you make it. If we follow these tips and work on them, we will find a new ourself. These tips help us to grow better. They are truly helpful in achieving our goals. All these tips are interrelated to each other.

By working on these five tips, we will achieve something new like we can motivate ourselves. Inner motivation always lasts longer than outer motivation. Pushing out of your comfort zone by challenging yourself will help you develop a challenging mindset which will eventually lead to creating new habits, for which you might need help from other peoples.

I personally like the habit of self-talking and creating new habits as I find it much loveable and inspiring for me while the most challenging thing for me is getting out of my comfort zone. I am still testing and experimenting for getting out of my comfort zone.

Getting out of my comfort zone is the thing I need the most. I am adopting some new habits that might help me in getting out of my comfort zone. I am seeking help from people who are too much closer to me and could help me in uplifting. Once we get out of our comfort zone everything and every task become easy.

I would recommend that if you are interested in developing your growth mindset you can just start by practicing these five tips one by one. I think we should start by working on one tip a week as it will be easy for us to adapt to changes. So let's begin the change in ourselves.
Reflection on Amal Totkay
By: Muhammad Hurrirah
Tags: Amal Academy, Amal Totkay, Amal Fellowship, Tips, Amalkindness

All tips which are defined in Amal totkay are like a toolbox or necessary to start meaning full life. Each tip has its own benefits. We can say that every tip is best from the previous one or it is a set of skills which we have to develop in ourselves from today.

I think that the takeaway of these 5 tips is that to encourage us toward the growth mindset and enhance the leadership quality in ourselves. And also make us self-dependent. And encourage us to make new good habits and leave a bad one. These tips also tell us how to start new behavior by making it first fake and then real.

My favorite tips in them First are Self-reflection or self-talk. Because when we talk ourselves in lonely this is the original personality of ours. which is only showing to our selfs no one now about this face of our self. This is very important that we have to talk in a very positive way with ourselves.

The second one which I like most is “get out of your comfort zone” because if you don’t do this you never explore new ideas. You never meet new people and you will many things in your life.

I almost all tips on myself too. But I am struggling with “Fake it till you make it” because this is entirely new for me. But I hope I will learn with time.

I think If we start applying these tips in our daily life today this will be the start of our growth mindset InshaAllah.
“Reflection”
By: Muhammad Huzaifa Jawad
Tags: Amal Totkay, Amal Academy, Amal Fellowship

Amal Totkay’s

I will be talking about the tips and tricks that were shared with us about developing a growth mindset.

So what are the tips?

There were basically 5 tips that were shared with us like:

1) Self Talk

2)Getting out of comfort zone

3)Create new habits

4)Asking people for help

5)Fake it till you make it

1) Self Talk:

Literally I talk with myself very often. Whenever I am alone I am always thinking about my self that what are the things that I have done and what I have to do in order to achieve the S.M.A.R.T Goals that I have set for myself. Taking out a time to talk with yourself is crucial for your growth because you realize about the mistakes you have done and what could you do to overcome them.

2)Getting out of comfort zone:

There is a famous quote by Neale Donald Welsh who once said:

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Simply put:

Only when you stop letting fears and anxiety hold you back, will you start to make those major breakthroughs in life.

Unfortunately, many people have problems with getting out of their comfort zones. They want to do more in life, but they’re afraid to challenge themselves and push the envelope on what they think is safe. It’s really easy to fall into the trap of never pushing your comfort zone. The problem with this is it often prevents you from true success and happiness in life. That’s because one of the best ways to grow is to test the limits of what most people consider “normal” to live the life you want.

3)Create new habits:

I always try to push myself and learn new things because if you stuck at one thing you will not be able to successful in yourself. Increase your habit in very small ways. Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. So always try learning new things for your overall development.

4)Asking people for help:

When you ask someone for help, it builds likeability and trust, and starts to form a bond between you and the other person. On top of that, asking for help makes you stronger. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to unapologetically ask for help when you need it. This fellowship is best example of it because we are divided in groups in which we can ask help from our group members anytime and they help us.

5)Fake it till you make it:

It’s easy to look at self-assured people and wish, “Oh, if only I could be that confident, that self-assured, that easy-going.” Well, let me tell you that lots of those people, who look so self-assured, aren’t. They feel shy, shaky, even terrified on the inside, yet they present as competent and confident on the outside. Because when you fake it your mind is actually thinking like it and with time you become accustom to it.
Reflection on Amal Totkay
By: Muhammad Zubair
Tags: Amal Totkay, Reflections, Amal Academy

These “totkay” were really enjoyable to learn. They given me a great toolkit of how to move towards a growth mindset. Now I am very much clear about what action(AMAL) do I need to develop Growth mindset.

I have got following takeaways out of this learning:

I have to stop talking -ve to myself and prepare and train my mind for positive thinking so that my mind can help me achieve my goals rather than stopping me by putting fear in me. I have to be positive in tough situations and face challenges with big heart. Because by remaining in the comfort zone, I will not learn new things neither will I experience the taste of Defeat. I have to develop good habits. I have to find habits that help me towards my Actions(Amal) rather than negating those. I have to ask for help from good people around me if I get stuck in something. And if have developed good habits, I have to take feedback from them also. I have to back myself and behave as if I have developed a Growth mindset even if I am starting out my journey.

My Favorite Totka:

It was tip no.5 for me. It was absolutely new concept and looks great and enjoyable also.

Already implementing:

I am already implementing tip no.1 and tip no. 2, and others I have to start.

As a result, I am going to start from today. I have to challenge myself in daily life following tip no.2 and also follow the remaining 2 tips also.
Amal Totkay Growth Mindset .
By: Hyder Ali
Tags: Amal Totkay, Amal Academy, Amal Fellowship

Amal Totkay Growth Mindset .

How did you find the 5 tips?

All of these points were very useful. I already knew some of these tips, but today I got to know them a new way.

2.What are your takeaways?

These Tips are very powerful and they provide us a direction toward our SMART Goal .Through these AMAL-tips, I got a chance to get to know myself better.

3.What were your fav tips?

I like the last one more FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT because I have had the experience that if you act like you all know in the beginning ,your confidence capabilities will definitely change.

4.What have you started implementing already?

Approximately I am applying or trying all these useful tips in my daily life.

a- I try to keep myself motivated, I keep asking myself questions and brainstorming for answers.

b-I am creating new habits for myself that lead me to my SMART goal ,such as reading books (Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, The murder of history ,Shahābnāmah, After the Prophet) etc .

c-Listening to Lectures and exercising everyday.

5.What can you do to develop a Growth Mindset beginning from today?

I was already obsessed with improving my soft skills but after joining AMAL i got on the right track , now I hear the rest of the people’s life stories trying to apply everyday leadership and #JustStart in the learning group as well as in daily life ,Trying to understand their feelings and thoughts to make myself comfortable to new people and new ideas.
Amal Totkay
By: Ayisha Bibi
Tags: Amal Academy, Amal Totkay, Amal Fellowship, Amalkindness, Helping Others

Broadening your mindset…..

1-Self-Talk

Be open-minded. Turn your negativity into positivity. This is your weapon against the darkness of this world. Talk to yourself and illuminate your soul.

2-Get outside of your comfort zone.

Go, take a shot at that book, you didn’t want to read. That place where you wanted to go but couldn’t. Be adventurous. Learn continuously.

3-Create new habits.

Learn new things. Challenge yourself daily. Develop a habit to jot down the stuff you’ve learned. Challenge yourself to be positive and be an achiever. Start from the small things.

4-Ask people for help.

If you lack somewhere or encounter a problem, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Surround yourself with people who will help you grow. And who give you constructive feedback. Work on your shortcomings.

5-Fake it till you make it.

If you’re new to something, still be confident. Work on it in secret and give that facade of knowing. You’ll figure it out soon and become better at it.

I found all of these totkas really helpful and I’m currently implementing on the 3rd totka in my life. These are extremely positive and I hope to learn more.
2020 Update
By: Derek Chui
Tags: Creative Process, Content Creators, Burnout, Content Creation

2019 has been a year of tremendous change. It’s the year I started my podcast, blog, and newsletter. It’s the year that I changed the style of my content. It’s also the year I moved to another country. A lot has happened since then. But throughout the year, I’ve realized that content isn’t everything. I’ve put more eggs in my basket than I can hold. And what this leads to is burnout, which of course, I’ve experienced many times.

Often I’d force myself to upload or create content on a consistent basis (for example a podcast a week or a video every other). I felt like if I call myself a content creator that I will eventually have an obligation to create on a regular basis, otherwise I’d be lying. Knowing that, I would often feel pressured to create without intent. But where this falls short is when I’m forcing myself to do it instead of when I really feel like there’s a message I want to share. I’ve always hoped to do things because I enjoy it, but when I’m force myself to do so, I unconsciously squeeze the fun out of it. To translate what I just said, I’ve realized uploading and creating all the time takes away the fun and creative element out of whatever I make, which is never ideal. Where I really get creative is when I really give myself time to think. It’s when I give myself space and minimal pressure, where an idea finally comes into my mind. It’s just part of my creative process.

So here’s the point of this whole blog: I wanted to set a goal for myself. A goal that would maintain a healthy relationship between me and the content I make, as well as the creative process. It’s one of the few things that I truly enjoy and I don’t want to ruin it for myself. The goal is to create not consistently or what the standard is, but to create when I really get inspired. When an idea really takes it’s place in my mind, because the best content I make, are the ones that really mean something in me.

*(In other words: I won’t be posting as much as before)*
Mental health during the lockdown
By: Dr Anastasia Dedyukhina
Tags: Mental Health, Mental Illness, Burnout, Mental Health Awareness, Digital Detox

If you are an HR or a manager, read this carefully, it will save you some trouble in the coming year.

1. Women combining motherhood and working from home are more affected than men. They will never recognise they aren’t coping, but many are at the brink of burnout, and will have to slow down their career. Look for ways to support working mothers in your company.

2. Most people find it now more difficult than ever to separate work from life. We were never trained how to put healthy boundaries in place, and adding more Zoom meetings, webinars and emails doesn’t help. Research says that the mere expectation of a work-related email increases stress levels. Support employees by establishing healthy guidelines and expectations of working times.

3. There will likely be no holidays for most of us until the end of 2020. It means that people will get more tired, less motivated and sick, even if they are working from home. Consider giving them temporary breaks, perhaps 3–4 days, shortening workday etc.

A little empathy will get you a long way.

#emotionalintelligence #workfromhome #empathy #mentalhealthmatters #mentalwellness #mentalhealthwarenessweek #flexibleworking #mentalhealth #workplacewellness
Avoiding Burnout in the Tech Industry
By: Paul Hieromnimon
Tags: Burnout, Paul Hieromnimon, Tech

Burnout has rapidly become one of the biggest topics in business. Some studies have shown that the tech industry has higher rates of burnout than the medical field. Such high rates of burnout could prove irreparably damaging to the industry. Even the most passionate of developers could leave the business forever if not provided the right support. So take a few of these tips to heart and you’ll find avoiding burnout in the tech industry is easier than you expected.

Don’t Avoid the Topic

Many companies treat burnout like a 4-letter word. Don’t avoid the topic — it exists and people are concerned. Avoiding a discussion about burnout makes it seem as though your company doesn’t care about worker concerns. Even just acknowledging that it is an issue can help worker confidence in the company.

Create a Dialogue

If burnout is not a large enough issue at your workplace to approach directly, then you may find some company improvements that can be made without direct actions. A large factor in burnout is a lack of proper management — or even outright toxic management. Promoting collaboration, learning, and transparency can be hugely beneficial in avoiding burnout.

Be Flexible

Burnout can stem from overwork, and little things can help take the burden off of your workers. Let employees work from home, have flexible hours, or provide regular time off. Flexibility provides your workers with a feeling of freedom and self-determination that can improve health and work satisfaction.

Encourage Healthy Off Time

Promoting a healthy work-life balance is hugely important to avoiding burnout, and the first step to this is ensuring workers have time to spend outside of work. This can be difficult in times when projects and deadlines are looming, but the dangers of overwork cannot be overstated.

Provide Resources

Lastly, mental health resources are key to the long-term success of your employees. A good therapist or psychologist can promote good work practices and emotional intelligence in your employees both inside and outside of the office. We often underestimate the importance and difficulty of handling our own mental health struggles. Providing these resources to your employees should be a priority for your company culture.
Mind your mental health » StartUp Port
By: Hal Tezcan
Tags: Mental Health, Burnout, Psychology, Founders, Startup

I read this great article on TechCrunch about this subject. Here is the link: “Investors and entrepreneurs need to address the mental health crisis in startup: https://tcrn.ch/2Sr77BF

Don’t burn your candle at both ends…

The lifestyle for building the next big thing is most of the time a hustle. And I guaranty you that a 40 hours a week is not part of an entrepreneurs’ vocabulary. There is a great misconception that in order to succeed you need to hustle and hustle hard, that unless you are suffering, grinding, working every hour of every day, you’re not working hard enough, and that if you do not hustle you will not succeed. This is one of the most toxic, dangerous things you can do to yourself.

Many have started warning about the dangers of such a hustle on the wellbeing and mental health of founders and even investors.

According to a study by Dr. Michael Freeman to investigate the prevalence and characteristics of mental health conditions among entrepreneurs and their family members, entrepreneurs are 50% more likely to report having a mental health condition.

Also, in support of this study and according to TechCrunch (in the above linked article) founders are:

2X more likely to suffer from depression

6X more likely to suffer from ADHD

3X more likely to suffer from substance abuse

10X more likely to suffer from bi-polar disorder

2X more likely to have psychiatric hospitalization;

and 2X more likely to have suicidal thoughts

These are sad numbers and there are many ways of remedying this problem, but it’s all in the hands of the founders. There are ways to cure and to end the stress and burnout epidemic. One way is to try to be a better leader, get help from coaches and get professional one-on-one counseling. Find ways to cut down on technology and information addiction. Try to learn how to become self-aware of mental problems before they turn into problems that take longer to cure.

There is even help from the investment community. Investing platforms like Republic ensure a community and support network of fellow founders and investors, and allows investors to play an active role in the startup’s journey and lifecycle. There is no reason for traveling the startup journey alone, and there are many ways to get support from the community and friends surrounding us. Others such as The Lonely Entrepreneur community provide support groups along the lonely journey.

I don’t believe in New Year resolutions, but this year, let’s make a commitment to ourselves, our companies, our partners, and our portfolios to take care of ourselves and our teams, and build something healthy, vibrant and long-lasting.

Here is the link to Dr. Freeman’s research on the subject: https://bit.ly/1gdQHJh