Why I Will Miss Trump’s Presidency
By: Jax Hudur
Tags: Satire, Politics, Trump, Comedy, USA

Why I Will Miss Trump’s Presidency

But not for the reasons you think

President Trump is a man of many talents. He has mastered the art of getting under people’s skin. This is a man who is both loved and loathed in an equal measure.

He is a patriot unless you disregard the Russian connection and is a successful businessman, when you overlook his big-time failures, from Trump’s airlines to Trump’s Beef Steaks. If you thought Trump sucked in his tweets, wait till you see Trump trying to sell you steaks. I like Trump, with all his faults. Ever since he became a president, he turned politics on its heads. His Twitter followers had the honor of being the first to be notified of his foreign policies bypassing his advisors and the media. Can you think of any other president who has a “good brain and consults” himself other than Trump?

Trump kept world leaders on their feet. From rocket man the North Korean dear dictator, to “Stupid Merkel,” Trump spared no one. Not even “Sleepy Joe” was spared. For us Brits, though, it did not sit well with us when Trump called our then prime minister Mrs. May “coward and stupid” in how she dealt with Brexit. We got over it, but many did not. Some even claimed that Trump was sadistic in his verbal communication when it came to Europe’s two most powerful women leaders, Mrs. May, and Merkel.

The Unforgettable Moments

Trump had something for everyone. Even the most humorless person found something to laugh about in Trump. In that vein, who can forget that famous Trump handshake that had a devastating effect on world leaders. Some had to be briefed on ways to avoid the awkwardness of it, while others, like poor old Shinzo Abe, the Japanese Premier, fell victim to Trump’s rigorous handshake.

Airforce One trips were not kind to Trump. With the world’s camera lenses zeroed in on the president, Trump’s hair looked like an angry porcupine’s quills when the wind blows. Trump will not miss the humiliation, but the media and I will miss those moments. Can anyone imagine how a bald Trump would look like?

Another Trump funny moment for me was not about Trump at all. It was about Buzz Aldrin’s reaction to Trump’s speech. Buzz looked like invincible aliens were torturing him; the faces he pulled were priceless.

We can forgive Trump for getting caught out when he said, “get me out of here” while walking away from the G20 meeting photo op, leaving the Argentine President on stage instead of waiting for other world leaders to join him and then take a group photo. Nevertheless who can forget the Trump — Kim Jong -un love affair? I remember this, and it nearly killed me as I choked on my food when confident Trump told the world, “I was really being tough, and so was he, and we go back and forth and then we fell in love. Okay?” The audience laughs. To drive his point home, Trump says, “No, really, he wrote me beautiful letters, and they are great letters, we fell in love.” Kim, the dear dictator, must be great with love letters. He won the president’s heart, after all.

Trump the disciplinarian

Discipline is integral to running a country; I get that but getting kicked out of the Oval Office for coughing is a whole lot of discipline on another level. For one, the entire world watched how then acting Chief of Staff, Mr. Mick Mulvaney, was told to get out of the Oval Office by Trump because the man coughed and interrupted Trump’s interview. If coughing by a senior aide can get a dressing-down, I do not know what Trump does to aides who fart near him. Mick Mulvaney is the same man who called trump “a terrible human being” before the 2016 presidential election. Whether Mulvaney deserved the telling off or not, one thing is clear, do not cough near Trump.

Trump and the Media

President Trump has a love-hate relationship with the media. The same is also true for journalists or panellists depending on whether Trump thinks they are on his side or against him. Poor CNN will undoubtedly rejoice in Trump’s election loss, but how many of you remember Trump’s crusade against journalists asking “silly” questions? I do not think any American president can rival Trump when telling off journalists who ask him hostile questions, making former presidents secretly jealous of him. Trump is no hypocrite in that respect, you know where you stand with him, and I will miss his candid outbursts and telling off the “rude” journalists. In this respect, Trump was not dull.

Finally,

I will miss Trump’s gaffes, his temper tantrums when asked questions he has no answers to, and his undiplomatic approaches to everything political. If Trump were happy with you, he would post a tweet praising you, and if not, tough luck with Trump’s target on your back. He was anything but forgiving; ask Steve Bannon, who was claimed to have said, “I am tired of being a wet nurse to a 71-year-old.” Well, poor old Steve should have known that a chief strategist’s role is not much different than a wet nurse, he just didn’t nurse Trump well.

What will you miss about Trump?