Middle School…Round 2
Tags: Middle School, Friends, Rumors, Bullying, Trigger Warning

Alright, back to it.

-my logo-

SO, the previous blog was just my year in 6th grade. This got better at the end, I ended up “dating” (whyyyy…kids…don’t “date” in middle school, wait until at least 16 years old…I beg of you) this really nice guy but LOL all good things come to an end — he moved and we were like 12 so long distance wasn’t an option haha. He was like my best friend, it was hard having to not see him all the time but…I was 12…I had time for things to get better.

Coming back after summer break into 7th grade was not terrible. I made a few new friends that year and even had a pretty solid friend group (yay). The bullying (more like tormenting) wasn’t so bad — I think it was mainly behind my back at this point. Honestly, that’s all I really remember from 7th grade…8th grade was shit show number two.

Remember that first friend I made, the one with the lunchables and was coloring her tongue with markers? Yea…she got into a group of some bad influences. We still talked, I just would hangout with other people when she was with (wait, this was 7th grade because she was hanging out with 8th graders…oh well…) those kids. She ended up getting into some pretty bad stuff (drugs, but honestly it might not even have been that bad considering we were 12 to 13 years old). I didn’t like it, she said she was just hanging out with them but not doing anything, we fought, ended the friendship…SURPRISE…more drama. Luckily, we both still had a soft spot for one another so it never got out of hand other than losing a friend.

-near the end-

OMG, I have a terrible story I want to write about that happened at some point during all of this but its A LOT right now so I’ll make a note of it to write later. (Note for later: A*** — name gives me the creeps).

Okay, NOW 8th grade because that was all that really happened in 7th grade. So, yea that friend group I had fell apart but I stayed in touch with two of the girls, we hung out often and made a new group of friends — one of them left because she was popular and stuff so like there was the best group I had of friends in awhile: Sara, Karisma, George, Roger (? he was quiet, more of George’s friend than mine), and people who would come in and out every so often. We got to go on a trip in 8th grade at the end of the year — hahahah what a way to ruin friendships. Huge fight with Sarah and we basically never talked again.

Before that trip, more drama started happening again, I don’t know how I was the center of it since I hardly talked to anyone or disturbed anything but you know, lets bring up shit that happened two years ago because we were CHILDREN (literally, emotionally, all the ways). I don’t remember this year in too much detail except that it seemed like no one liked me and if Karisma and Sara were busy at lunch…I was alone or eating lunch in a teacher’s classroom (yea, I was that kid…teachers are cool man, c’mon).

Honestly, I don’t know where I am taking this blog and it is slightly boring to me since I can’t remember a lot of the shitty details because I blocked them out…so I’ll just talk about that creep I mentioned I’d write about at a different time.

*Trigger warning**

So, his name was A*** (not ass, just censoring, plus it gives me the creeps). he was friends with that first friend I made (lunchable) and we started talking because he had no other friends except us too (take the hint). Fast forward a bit, he wanted to hangout and we had nothing to do so lunchable and I went (don’t ask me why her name is the only one I am censoring out, it just happened) over to his house one day after school. It was a nice house, gigantic, but some what of a mess? It was clean dust and dirt wise, just lots of stuff every where. Large yard, could’ve been a farm probably if the family had been able to put effort into it (I think it was just him and his mom, not sure where his dad was or if something had happened — a weird family tbh..NOT because single mom but because of the people in the family).

Lunchable ended up having to leave so it was just me and A. He wanted to show me something inside after we had explored outside with lunchable, so cool whatever (just waiting for my mom to come pick me up). He took me up to his room (RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG), also I think he kissed me before this? Wait, no…that hadn’t happened yet. Anyway, we get to his room, kind of small but whatever you know so was my childhood bedroom. THEN he pulls on his fkn bookshelf to a SECRET ROOM…lemme just tell you…he told me that people called it his “rape cave” ?!? WHY DID I NOT RUN FOR MY LIFE, I don’t know, I was a stupid kid…I did text my mom to come pick me up NOW but only told her I was ready to go — I don’t think she, to this day, knows the situation I was in.

Once we were both in this “secret room” *cough*rape cave*cough*, he kissed me. And, being 100% honest…no idea how I physically reacted…slightly think I blacked out for a second…I do know that it didn’t get farther than that. I must’ve pulled away, said my mom was here, and went outside…told him he didn’t need to walk me out. I’m fuzzy on the specifics but luckily, I was not raped (extremely fortunate). After that, I felt so gross, especially because I still had to go to school with this kid.

I brought up the “secret room” to lunchable the next time I saw her at school and she told me that she had heard it be called his rape cave before, she’d never seen it but his guy friends had that she talked to. He probably told people some shit too, making my year and life even worse and allowing kids to talk more rumors.

This seemed to come to an end after 7th grade so 8th grade was manageable (I guess)…high school got a bit worse again but that is for another time.

TTFN — J