Cybercocaine
Tags: Pranks, Rudy Giuliani, Cyber Security Awareness, C Sharp Programming, Drugs

Cybercocaine

“Passing around USB ports like they were vials of heroin or cocaine.” — Rudy Giuliani

So recently, the Donald’s cybersecurity expert Rudy Giuliani’s brain just ejaculated the most epic insight that no other security expert was able to think of. Let’s see what he has to say:

Rudy Giuliani being more 1337 than Zero Cool & Acid Burn combined

This is a really cereal… wait… why are you laughing? This is fucking serious. Computers can get high just like people don’t you know? What, you don’t believe me?! Okay, I’ll demonstrate it to you.

Contents at a glance

Cooking the cocaine Loading up the syringe Huffing the jenk Conclusion

Cooking up the cocaine

Okay first we’re gonna need to actually make/cook the cybercocaine. Here are the ingredients (btw, I’m doing this on a Lunix system, so results might vary if you’re using Windoze):

mcs (or anything that’ll compile C#)

(or anything that’ll compile C#) some pic that looks like it was made by stoners (I’ll use this one)

An icon of a cake (just Google search “cake” and convert it into an icon with Photoshop/GIMP/online tools).

A USB thumb drive

So open up your favourite source code editor and type this in:

Now compile it:

$ mcs -out:cybercocaine.exe /reference:System.Windows.Forms.dll /reference:System.Drawing cybercocaine.cs

Alright, now if you managed to compile it and you got your stoner pic, let’s load up the syringe!

Loading up the syringe

We’re gonna need a USB thumb drive for this. Reformat it to NTFS and then get ready to load it up with cybercocaine by copying the cybercocaine.exe file, the stoner image file, the cake icon and by creating an autorun file.

Rudy Giuliani would be so proud of our solution

Keep a few things in mind about the file naming scheme:

cybercocaine.exe can be called whatever you want. I renamed mine to cake.exe

can be called whatever you want. I renamed mine to The stoners image MUST be called image.jpg

The cake.ico file can be named whatever you want.

file can be named whatever you want. The autorun file MUST be named autorun.inf

So lets create our autorun.inf file:

$ touch autorun.inf

Add this to the autorun file:

[autorun]

Icon=cake.ico

Label=Delicious Cake

;Open=cake.exe

ShellExecute=cake.exe

UseAutoPlay=1

When saving it, make sure that the line formatting is Windoze.

Huffing the jenk

Alright now let’s get high. Inject the USB syringe into your laptop’s USB port and you’ll get this:

I’m sure Rudy Giuliani would love to get the cake

Click on it and…

The only logical option for Rudy Giuliani would be to open dat folder

Open the cake.exe file and…

Well I guess Rudy Giuliani was right about USB thumb drives getting ur computer high

Final thoughts

Today we learnt two things:

Your computer can get high if you know enough C# Rudy Giuliani is a fucking cybersecurity genius and you should listen to him if you know what’s good for you

You can probably make the Delicious Cake a bit more believable by “hiding” the cake.ico and image.jpg files. Other than that, making this was pretty fun 😃

Shout outs

To a Mr. Kevin A. Bird for acknowledging the computer genius of Giuliani and Mansa Keita for point out that it would be a better idea to pass out USB keys as opposed to USB ports. Also to Twitter user @aslikr42069 for being the greatest Lunix e-girl to have ever shitposted on Twitter and to James Lingford cos’ James, I know that you’re reading this right now 😉