Should You Allow Your Kids to Play with Toy Guns?
By: Rose Bak
Tags: Parenting, Christmas, Kids, Guns, Gifts

For years parents have been debating the merits of purchasing toy guns for their children for Christmas or their birthdays.

Guns used to be a more a common toy than it is today, when many parents believe that playing with toy guns encourage violence and destructive behavior. And in today’s litigious society, even fewer parents would consider a BB gun for fear that someone might accidentally get hurt and sue them for everything they have.

The “gun or no gun” question is at the heart of a beloved holiday movie called “A Christmas Story”.

If you haven’t seen it, “A Christmas Story” is a 1983 film that’s based on the semiautobiographical essays of writer Jean Shepherd. It draws from his books “In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash” and “Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories and Other Disasters”.

Although it wasn’t particularly popular when it was first released, “A Christmas Story” soon became one of the most beloved American holiday movies of all time. Its popularity was fueled, in part, by the long-running 24-hour cable marathons that play the movie over and over each Christmas.

The film is set in the fictional town of Hohman Indiana in the 1940s. It tells the story of a 9-year-old boy named Ralphie Parker (played by Peter Billingsley) who only wants one thing for Christmas: a Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle.

The Red Ryder was inspired by the Winchester rifle often seen in Western movies.

When Ralphie tells his mom (played by Melinda Dillon) about his Christmas wish, she says no.

As the adult Ralphie (narrator Jean Shepherd) recalled,

“It was the classic, mother BB-gun block. ‘You’ll shoot your eye out!’”

That same sentiment is echoed by his teacher when he writes a heartfelt essay about the BB gun. Even the store Santa Claus denies his request, growling “You’ll shoot your eye out kid!”

Ralphie laments:

“Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his peacemaker?”

Still, the hopeful young boy dreams of protecting his family from bandits and scaring off bullies like his nemesis Scut Farkus (Zach Ward) with his Red Ryder air rifle. He feels confident that the real Santa will come to his rescue and he will finally get the gun of his dreams.

When Christmas morning comes, Ralphie is devastated to find a collection of disappointing gifts under the Christmas tree, including a giant pink bunny costume, but no Red Ryder.

Just when all hope is lost, his dad (played by Darren McGavin) points out a package hidden behind the desk. While his mom looks on with horror, Ralphie tears off the wrapping paper and finds his very own Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle.

Ralphie rushes in his pajamas to try his new gun, aims at a sign across his yard. On his first shot, the BB ricochets and hits him right in the face, knocking off his glasses. Ralphie exclaims in horror:

“Oh my god, I shot my eye out!”

And, if not for the protection of his glasses, he would have shot his eye out.

The frightened kid makes up a story about a falling icicle to explain his broken glasses and the adult Ralphie as narrator (Jean Shepherd) reminisces that the rifle was the best Christmas gift he ever received in his life. Presumably, he had other opportunities to use it after his glasses were replaced.

The movie has many great quotes including my favorite

“In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity, that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.”

Watching adults disagree over allowing kids to use toy guns is as real today as it was in the 1940s when Jean Shepherd ’s parents had this discussion.

A CNN story from 2018 noted:

“The vast majority of boys who play with toy guns will never go on to use real ones to harm someone. Also, gun violence is nearly exclusively a male problem. Reconciling these two facts is difficult for many parents, who are unsure whether their sons’ fun play at home is in any way related to the fear they feel for their safety when their sons leave the home.”

Parents worry that forbidding boys from using toy guns will just make them want them more. We’ve all experienced the allure of the “forbidden fruit”.

Psychologists have studied the relation between toys and future gun violence, particularly in the wake of dozens of horrific school shootings perpetrated by young white males.

Michael Thompson, a psychologist and co-author of “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys,” says that children are actually able to understand the distinction between fantasy gun play and real-life gun use. Thompson goes on to say:

“I understand why parents get upset by these games, but it is play, and play does not lead to lethal aggression. Play … is consensual. Aggression is hurtful and produces injury in the person. Play doesn’t produce any of that.”

Research says you probably don’t need to worry about your sons playing with toy guns, assuming that it happens in the context of playing, and not as a way to act out anger and aggression.

Some psychologists go so far as to suggest that these playful fantasies actually act as a release valve and help kids be less aggressive in the context of their daily lives.

Not all of the experts agree on this point, however. Erica Weisgram, professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point and co-editor of “Gender Typing of Children’s Toys: How early play experiences impact development,” says the studies have not been thorough enough to provide a clear conclusion.

Weisman says that just because a connection between playing with toy guns and violence later in life hasn’t been proven yet, that does not mean it’s not there. She cites a lack of long-term longitudinal studies that factor in things like gender, ethnicity, culture and where the child is raised.

If your child wants a toy gun and you’re worried about him growing up to be a psychopath, you might consider allowing him to play with the gun only when you’re around and can monitor his activity.

Be sure your child understands the difference between playing with a toy gun and using a real gun, especially if you keep real guns in your house.

And remember, the real Ralphie Parker got his Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle, avoided shooting his eye out, and grew up to be a successful author, writer and TV and movie actor. That’s a great endorsement.

Originally published on News Break, 2020