My 4 Big Frustrations Right Now as a Master’s Student
By: Iffah Suraya Jasni
Tags: Frustration, Independence, Counseling, Education, Decision Making

Read and weep (just kidding!).

Maybe the title is a little misleading. Yes, I’m frustrated that I have almost another year until I can start practicing as a mental health counselor. So meanwhile, I have to be okay with being called jobless by my sister and being patronized for not having a full-time job by a few older people in my life. It never occurs to them that students can only have part-time jobs (which I do have right now).

And of course, part-time jobs only pay so much. That’s my first frustration.

There’s also the fact that one can’t be at all places at once. That I can’t be both counseling student and marketing trainee at the same time. Sure, I can learn all things marketing by myself but to achieve something big in the marketing field, I’d most likely have to choose it over becoming a mental health expert in the future. The thing is, both marketing and mental health are appealing to me (because I know I have the ability to do them both for life). Though, those who know me will know that in the end, I chose counseling over marketing because counseling fits my values, needs, personality, and experiences much more. Somehow, my compatibility with counseling and my decision to pursue it does not remove what rankles me: the fact that I could have just sucked up to the corporate world and be a copywriter and then go off and live by myself. So that’s my second frustration.

Here’s the thing that not many folks know: when you’re a counseling student, it’s good if you volunteer to gain experience. It’s only common sense. It’s just that after many hours of being a listener, coach, question-asker, paraphraser, reflector of feelings, summarizer, educator, advocate, and so on, you’ll start to wonder why you aren’t being paid for this (especially if you have high self-efficacy in your counseling abilities as I do). That’s my third frustration. Anyhow, the volunteering organization I give my time to certainly is lucky to have people like me— that’s all I have to say about it.

Perhaps more folks will get my fourth frustration: that being a student during the pandemic has shaken things up a little bit. I’ve heard my classmates say they have considered quitting (though, also for reasons other than COVID-19). Nevertheless, it’s true that it’s harder being a student now as the coronavirus reigns supreme. I mean, it’s already hard being a student, WTF.

I’ll add a bit more to the previous paragraph— it’s harder being a counseling student especially since we’re all about human beings and practicing talk therapy online isn’t the same thing as doing it in person. In addition, meeting up with classmates to discuss presentations and projects are things that belong to the recent past only, before Wuhan happened (Ha).

On top of all these stressors, or maybe because of all these stressors (and a few more unmentioned here), my BDD symptoms have only intensified, leaving me feeling helpless on many occasions. Blessed am I, however, who’s parent is willing to pay for therapy, though therapy does cost money— so the more therapy I attend, the more I am reminded that I am “jobless” and depend on others to pay for stuff.

Maybe it’s best that I just hold on tight to the old and honest adage that all of these, too, shall pass. This too, shall pass.