Experience of a Lifetime. Becoming an International student has…
By: Noor Sufi
Tags: Personal Essay

Being an International student has not always been the easiest, especially since I made the decision to move across the country to accomplish my dream of becoming a journalist.

It all started during the summer of 2018, when I learned that I got accepted to California State University, Northridge. Even though it felt like a dream come true, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go because a.) it was far away from home, and b.) I had never been to the United States before.

I was born and raised in Dubai, but I decided to complete my studies in Los Angeles. Growing up, I was always told that the United States is the land of opportunity to achieving your dreams. After living here for over three years, I think it is safe to say so because even though I have come across several obstacles that have made me question my career path, it has helped me understand why I needed to be here by myself.

The first photo I ever had taken of myself when I came to the United States, in 2018.

The first few months were most certainly the hardest part of my journey to studying abroad. I felt like my world was falling apart because I was 8,000 miles away from my parents and for some reason, I found it so difficult to make friends. I just always felt like an outcast because I couldn’t fit in since my English wasn’t perfect. Over time, I did manage to make a few great friends, who I now call my very best friends.

Another reason why it felt so difficult to fit in is because of my religion. Being a Muslim in the United States has always scared me because of the things I hear on the news. This was one of the reasons as to why I was not so sure if I wanted to fulfill my dream of studying abroad. However, my friends made me realize that the more I show my fears of being a Muslim here, the more I would let it get to me and I haven’t looked back since then.

I have always been the closest to my mom and dad, which is why it still feels difficult to live on my own without them. I will make them proud of me one day, but for now, I need to be here in order to do that.

Attached above is a photo of my mom (on the left) and me in Beverly Hills.

Toward my second year at CSUN, I found out that my father was admitted to the hospital because he had been really sick, which led him to having an operation. In that moment, all I really wanted to do was book a flight on the spot and leave. I was so furious at my parents for not telling me at first because they were looking out for me, but my mind was only set on my dad’s recovery.

I had to learn this time because life does not work that way. Instead, I did the best I could, so I would make it a point to FaceTime my parents every day and ask about their well-being instead of dwelling over the fact that I’m not there to support my father, even though I should have known that I was, but from afar.

One of the hardest things that I had to do on my own was manage my money. I say this because growing up, my parents would always manage everything for me. So, learning how to spend less and save more was really tough, which was how I would always get on the verge of being broke really fast.

Although I have so much more that I need to learn by myself, I am grateful that I was given an opportunity to accomplish a mission like this. Going from things being done for you, to doing the smallest things like laundry and cooking was not the easiest. I managed it on my own and that is the one thing that I learned while being here.

A photo captured by myself at Venice beach.

When it comes to adapting to the changes around me, it most certainly took me a while to get the hang of it. The people around here were so different compared to the people in Dubai. I think that Middle Easterners in general will sugar coat anything just to get it over with. Whereas people here are straightforward, and while I admire that about the people here, it does hurt sometimes. It felt like people would get mad at me for something as minor as not knowing my ways around here, but I never let it get to me.

Even though my journey hasn’t been the easiest, I did learn so much from it, knowing that I still have a long way to go. I get to make more mistakes and I get to learn from them too. Sometimes, I feel like I’m just wasting my time and effort here because my purpose of coming here was to study and graduate, but so often I would find myself doing other things like having fun, I would feel guilty about it.

I would constantly remind myself that I was just wasting all my effort and time here because of how quickly I would get demotivated to study, which made the road to recovery so hard. It took me such a long time to realize that I can do both. I can study and educate myself and I could have fun because at the end of the day, I won’t be here forever. I will eventually have to return home.

Lessons like this are what has helped me get through each semester. It was definitely not the easiest, but looking back has made me realize that it wasn’t hard. I learned how to get over my homesickness, which was key to being happy because being homesick would only lead me to stay demotivated. I am so glad that I decided to pack up and come to a country where nobody knows me, because this gave me an opportunity to start over and work on myself, which is something I could not do there.