Reflections on Leadership: When Things Fall Apart
By: Kathy Johnson Bowles
Tags: Leadership, Buddhism, Inspiration, Higher Education, Higher Ed

Pema Chödrön, a Buddhist nun and author of When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, and her writings have lit a pathway for me many times — through a divorce, a death of a sister, cancer, and career challenges. I’m not a religious person per se, just someone looking for ways to reflect, be better, and do better in the world. I’ve recommended her book, and even bought her book for others, when I have seen or heard of a friend’s heartfelt struggles. Now more than ever, as individuals, as leaders, and as a nation, we are struggling. I go back to her words. I think they apply in times of pandemic, and especially for higher education administrators.

Some words from Pema Chödrön I return to:

Acknowledgment: “Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now, we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.”

Trying to express the continuum of frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, fear, and confusion many are feeling — you, your family, those at your institution — may be futile. The situation for many is mired in emotional, physical, and financial chaos. Everyone is frustrated. Perhaps acknowledging that fact enables us to take a deep breath, not be so hard on ourselves and others. Online learning won’t be perfect. Deposits won’t make projections. Investment returns won’t meet expenses. It is a shitty time. There is no need to make it worse by being negative or angry. It won’t make you or anyone else feel better. It is wasted energy. Spend your emotional, intellectual, and physical energy where it can do the most good.

Fear: “A further sign of health is that we don’t become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it’s time to stop struggling and look directly at what’s threatening us.”

Sometimes it seems like we’ve become good at struggling and complaining in higher education. There is always something to fear and fight against — unfunded mandates, compensation compression, budgets, enrollment, cumbersome out of date curricula, to name a few. Those are the big things. There are small things, too. The silver lining in having to stop doing nearly everything is that there are revelations: some things don’t need to be done and weren’t worth doing in the first place. The key will be not adding those things back just because there is no longer shelter in place. If you are struggling, stop. Ask yourself, ‘do I need to struggle with this? What if I didn’t? What would it take to stop struggling?”’

Acceptance: “I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us…It was all about letting go of everything.”

Chances are you didn’t get to be a higher education administrator by letting go of everything. You’re a doer, go-getter, make-things-happen queen. That is your identity, your comfort zone, and your achievement addiction. Now it is a lot harder or nearly impossible to be that person. Stop struggling to be that person now. You can’t and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll be better off, and so will your institution, if you ask yourself, ‘what can be done?’ and ‘who can do it.’ Let go of power and authority. If you can do something each day, without giving up even in the face of all odds, you’ll build something — likely better than before.

Innovation: “We don’t set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people’s hearts.”

Many high-achievers spend a great deal of time focused on having a successful career, a particular image, and achieving a goal or position that will ‘look good’ on a resume. In higher education, we postulate on servant leadership and how to embody it. Often, the phrase is misapplied to serving/protecting an institution rather than doing so for the people served by the institution. These are inward thinking approaches. If we genuinely want to help others, relieve pain — including our own, it is time to be outward-thinking leaders. Right now, higher education leaders need to be more independent in thought, caring, selfless, and fair-minded. Outward-thinking leaders think more about right and wrong, life and death rather than being focused on an imagined nostalgia for a status quo that no longer exists.

The Future: “Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really, we just don’t know.”

When I was a university museum director, I poured through the library archives, object files, and yearbooks looking for clues about the history of an object, collection, or traditions surrounding a particularly beloved work of art. What I found were great stories of a community’s perseverance, hope, and imagination, especially in the worst of times. Look back through your institution’s history — during the numerous wars, 1918 Spanish Flu, the Great Depression, the Civil Rights Era, and campus tragedies (major natural disasters, a death). Take time now to retell those stories of resilience, creativity, and innovation to your on- and off-campus community, alumnx, and donors. Even in the most challenging times, something good came out of the bad for your institution. The people then were just as unsure as we are now, but they kept on going. So shall we.

Thank you, Pema Chödrön.

Kathy Johnson Bowles

www.gordianknotconsulting.com