56 Funny Code Comments That People Actually Wrote
By: Nehal Khan
Tags: Humor, Web Development, Software Development, Front End Development, Programming

1.

/*

* Dear Maintainer

*

* Once you are done trying to ‘optimize’ this routine,

* and you have realized what a terrible mistake that was,

* please increment the following counter as a warning

* to the next guy.

*

* total_hours_wasted_here = 73

*

2.

Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong."); throw up; //ha ha

3.

// When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing // Now, God only knows

4.

// sometimes I believe compiler ignores all my comments

5.

// I dedicate all this code, all my work, to my wife, Darlene, // who will have to support me and our three children and // the dog once it gets released into the public.

6.

// drunk, fix later

7.

// Magic. Do not touch.

8.

// I'm sorry.

9.

return 1; # returns 1

10.

Catch (Exception e) { //who cares? }

11.

/** * Always returns true. */ public boolean isAvailable() { return false; }

12.

/* * You may think you know what the following code does. * But you dont. Trust me. * Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless * night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever * enough to "optimize" the code below. * Now close this file and go play with something else. */

13.

try { } finally { // should never happen }

14.

const int TEN=10; // As if the value of 10 will fluctuate...

15.

// This code sucks, you know it and I know it. // Move on and call me an idiot later.

16.

// If this comment is removed the program will blow up

17.

// I am not responsible of this code.

// They made me write it, against my will.

18.

/* Please work */

19.

// no comments for you

// it was hard to write

// so it should be hard to read

20.

options.BatchSize = 300; //Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

21.

// If this code works, it was written by Paul DiLascia.

// If not, I don't know who wrote it

22.

// Peter wrote this, nobody knows what it does, don't change it!

23.

/** Logger */

private Logger logger = Logger.getLogger();

24.

// I have to find a better job

25.

// Real programmers don’t comment their code.

// If it was hard to write,

// it should be hard to understand.

26.

// This is black magic

// from

// *Some stackoverlow link

// Don’t play with magic, it can BITE.

27.

// For the sins I am about to commit, may James Gosling forgive me

28.

// Comment this later

29.

// Remove this if you wanna be fired

30.

}catch(Exception ex){ // Houston, we have a problem }

31.

// I can’t divide with zero, so I have to divide with something very similar

result = number / 0.00000000000001.

32.

int getRandomNumber()

{

Return 4; // chosen by fair dice roll.

// guaranteed to be random.

}

33.

#TODO: Figure out what I’m doing here and comment accordingly.

34.

// If this code is still being used when it stops working, then

// you have my permission to shoot me. Oh, you won't be able

// to - I'll be dead...

35.

// If you are reading this, that means you have been put in charge of my previous project.

// I am sorry, so sorry for you. Godspeed.

36.

// I wrote this while drunk, I don’t know what it does,

// but if you remove it the program breaks.

37.

// This code worked before, but my cat decided to take a

// trip across my keyboard...

38.

long long ago; /* in a galaxy far far away */

39.

long john; // silver

40.

#define TRUE FALSE // Happy debugging suckers

41.

// Dear future me. Please forgive me. // I can't even begin to express how sorry I am.

42.

// private instance variable for storing age

public static int age;

43.

// I am not sure why this works but it fixes the problem.

44.

last = first; /* Biblical reference */

45.

try { } catch (SQLException ex) { // Basically, without saying too much, you're screwed. Royally and totally. } catch(Exception ex) { //If you thought you were screwed before, boy have I news for you!!! }

46.

// John! If you'll svn remove this once more, // I'll shut you, for God's sake! // That piece of code is not "something strange"! // That is THE AUTH VALIDATION.

47.

long time; /* know C */

48.

// Abandon all hope ye who enter beyond this point

49.

/* Ah ah ah! You'll never understand why this one works. */

50.

catch (Ex as Exception) { // oh crap, we should do something. }

51.

// TODO make this work

52.

// If you're reading this, then my program is probably a success

53.

// set break point here - you'll never reach it

54.

/* ** The author disclaims copyright to this source code. ** In place of a legal notice, here is a blessing: ** ** May you do good and not evil. ** May you find forgiveness for yourself and forgive others. ** May you share freely, never taking more than you give. */

55.

// I'm not sure what I did

56.