There Should Be Exit Interviews for Breakups
By: Maclin Lyons
Tags: Breakups, Relationships, Love, Self Improvement, Dating

If we have them for work, why don’t we have them for relationships?

Photo by Dang Nghia on Unsplash

Some people might argue that the ending of a romantic relationship is not the same as leaving a job, but I’d say they’re comparable. You can easily compare being fired to being dumped. In both cases, you didn’t want the relationship to end.

Also, if you leave your job for a better job or because you’re seeking something more fulfilling, it’s a breakup in your professional life and is similar to a personal breakup. When you choose to leave someone, you’re either leaving the relationship for someone else who’s better for you or simply because it’s not a good fit for you anymore.

The purpose of the exit interview is to learn from both sides. This is your chance to talk in a safe space about what worked for you and what didn’t. In the work place, your answers may be able to help your employer better serve the next employee. In a relationship, you can help your ex be better for the next person.

The important part of the exit interview is that both parties know this is a professional, mature conversation. This is not the time to get angry or point fingers. In the most effective cases, both people exchange information for the benefit of clarifying what went wrong in the relationship.

An exit interview is the perfect opportunity to share what you liked and didn’t like about your partner. Both sides should treat this as a truthful moment and nobody should be trying to hurt feelings. Try to use this as a learning experience.

In the best case scenario, you both would leave with no confusion or assumptions about what went wrong. You’ll get whatever closure you need and be able to move on.

Unfortunately, it’s so difficult to be honest in a breakup. Most often, people lie. If a man wants to break up with a woman, he’ll usually say “It has nothing to do with you. I just need to work on myself,” but this doesn’t help anybody.

If he broke up with her because he thinks she’s vain or she never opened up emotionally, she deserves to know that. She might not have been aware that she was closed off, so the feedback can only help her for future relationships. Him being direct with her will also clear up any confusion she might’ve had over what caused the breakup.

People who get dumped often struggle to get over the breakup because they keep wondering what they did wrong. An exit interview would provide that closure.

If they knew exactly why they were left, it can quicken the healing process and most likely make them more self-aware and conscious of anything they may need to work on. It can prevent them from continuing to make the same mistakes over and over again.

It’s hard being self-aware, especially when dating. We try to be on our best behavior, but if nobody tells us the behavior isn’t working for them, how do we know we need to make a change?

In a perfect world, people would be able to sit down with each other after a breakup and just be honest about what ended it. Improving our communication skills and becoming more self-aware will only help us be better versions of ourselves for the next relationship. I think it could be very beneficial for both parties.