Taking Back My Brave
By: Edie Tuck
Tags: Life Lessons, Courage, Truth, Self Love, Life

If you’ve made it this far through my moaning and groaning, I’m impressed (and grateful! Thanks for the reading minutes!!)

Back to the point of the song, and the title of this article.

Taking Back My Brave

I’ve always been a very emotionally-driven person. I lead with my heart, and if I’m lucky, my head sometimes tags along. Trying to find a balance there is difficult, but I think I might be starting to get the hang of it…maybe.

What the song reminded me of this morning, is that I need to remember what I’m made of. This past month (and most of November, if I’m being honest), I’ve been in an emotional slump. Struggling with — well, almost everything. The lyrics reminded me of how strong I am. Of everything I’ve overcome, coming out stronger on the other side.

It grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me a little. Okay, maybe a lot. I think it even slapped me around a bit, but I can’t remember — it’s all a bit hazy.

Sometimes when life gets hard, we just have to haunch our shoulders and keep on pushing through the storm. Damn adulting. …I’d forgotten how to do that. Or more accurately, I’d forgotten I was able to do that. I’d been letting the waves kind of just wash over me, becoming oblivious to the sunshine peeking through after every dark cloud.

Do you know that old saying ‘count your blessings’? Yeah, I’d forgotten how to do that, too.

Seventeen years ago, I left the tiny town where I grew up and moved to the big city — and proceeded to move nine more times since then, but stayed in the vicinity of this big city. I was looking for a change and for opportunities. I was looking to give my daughter a better life than I thought I could give her back home. I think I managed to accomplish that. But every so often, I forget…

I forget that I went from a young single mom on social assistance, living in a small town and going nowhere, to a driven woman with an amazing daughter, a family, and dreams I’m finally chasing with all I’ve got. I forget how scary it was to move over two hundred miles from anyone I knew with a three-year-old in tow, and how I faced those fears and did what I had to do.

I even forget how two years ago, I pushed more fears and insecurities aside when I decided to finally become healthy — both physically and emotionally. I pushed past barriers I never thought I could, and some I didn’t even know I had.

Comfort Can Make You Forget

I’m sure most of you have heard about how ‘marriage makes you fat’…and if you haven’t, well, now you have. The truth is, I don’t think it’s the marriage that’s the real culprit, but rather, the state of perpetual comfort one sinks into after being in a relationship with the same person for a long period of time.

The same goes for working the same job for a long time; although you may always complain that you hate your job and that it’s going nowhere, you have that level of comfort that comes with familiarity and routine, and it just keeps you there regardless of how miserable you truly are.

You have a steady job that pays the bills, and maybe has decent health benefits, so why change — that takes effort, and effort is hard work! You have the relationship you’re expected to have, so you start to get into this skewed state of mind in which you feel you no longer have to impress anybody. You’ve already ‘landed’ that significant other, so now it doesn’t matter what you look like or how you act or treat yourself.

The problem with this way of thinking is that it should have never been about impressing another person, to begin with. It should have always been about ourselves. It should never be about being ‘comfortable’ at a job (which by the way, I believe is an acronym for Just Over Broke), but rather, it should be about doing something you actually enjoy.

Paint Your Own Rainbow

Remembering who I am, what I’m about, what I’m made of — all of that doesn’t mean that I’m not still struggling with all of the things in the first part of this article. It just means that I’m acknowledging them — that I recognize it as a storm that I’m strong enough to weather.

Standing in the shower and singing at the top of my lungs about taking back my brave doesn’t change the facts that I’ve let my health slip to the back burner, that I’m slacking in the self-care and self-love departments, and that I’ve allowed my dreams to lose the level of importance I’d given them.

But listening to those words has re-lit the fire inside of me. It has reminded me that I’m important, I’m worthy, and most of all, I’m capable!

I’m making my health a priority again. Not just my physical health, but my emotional well-being as well. I’m going to put that effort into self-care again, and I remember that I love myself. I’m also giving my dreams back the attention they demand and deserve.

Sure, life will keep blowing storms my way — those are inevitable. But sometimes it’s easier to get through the storms when you learn to paint your own rainbows.

Mine is going to be shaped like a unicorn…what will yours look like?