fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
This is very well said.
By: Tom Harrison
Tags: Narcissism, Trump

This is very well said. Having dealt with a mother-in-law who is a narcissist before Trump came on the scene, I saw immediately that he was the same.

As a follow on, I wonder if you would write something that helps us understand how Donald Trump has and will likely behave, moving forward. It seems he has hooked a great number of us in America, in particular many politicians, news media, and of course many citizens. I don’t Think we understand how to get out from his thrall.

I know that extracting our family from the hooks of my mother-in-law, my children’s grandmother, was very difficult. As you say, she could be charming and manipulative. She found our weak spots. Certainly Trump poses a different problem, but I haven’t seen many who have addressed how we’ll get out from his control, even if we have not re-elected him to the presidency. He is still extremely dangerous.

In truth, I still see his presence as a national emergency. For all the reasons you listed in your excellent article.
You Are Your Own Healer
By: Mags Thomson
Tags: Emotional Health, Healing From Trauma, Narcissistic Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Narcissism

You aren’t just being healed, you’re also the healer.

What do I mean by this? Well, it begins with you learning how to take yourself by the hand and figuring out what you need: What are your triggers? When are you hurting? How are you hurting?

Also, how is your level of self-awareness? Because developing it will enable you to notice what you’re going through and explore the reasons behind it.

Being conscious of how your mind works and how your environment, relationships, and certain activities affect you. For example, are you trying to force yourself to utilise a healing modality like EFT when you’d prefer to be in therapy? Or vice-versa? Knowing these things will make a powerful difference in how you experience your healing journey.

When we try to make ourselves fit within a cookie-cutter version of healing (doing things just because other people say it worked for them), we bring the unhelpful element of frustration into it because our soul is trying to say, “Hey, I know what’s good for me! Listen to me!”

So with all that said: by all means, utilise the resources at your disposal and take the advice that people give you about how to heal. But ULTIMATELY, run it all by your own “inner guidance system” as Abraham Hicks calls it. You have your own wisdom and know inherently what works for you and doesn’t.

Learn to tap into this.
5 Ways Narcissism Kills Creativity.
By: Amy Culberg
Tags: Self Improvement, Humor, Covid-19, Narcissism, Self-awareness

Be Best.

Photo by Marcel Strauß on Unsplash

I can’t get over Melania Trump's ‘Be Best’ campaign. It’s an awareness campaign around cyberbullying and she’s married to the biggest cyberbully on the planet, other than that one girl in high school, who wants to be Perez Hilton and is experimenting on her classmates.

Be Best makes me giggle, which hinges it onto my brain like a ravenous crocodile. I know Be Best is old news but I can’t shake it. It’s living in a tiny house inside my head.

Be Best. It makes my nostrils flare. It tickles my throat. When I hear those two words, I imagine someone getting beat up in the playground and Melania is standing over them in her I Don’t Care coat, saying “Be Best.” And the person on the ground is like “WTF lady.”

I like things that stick in my head because otherwise, I think about myself all the time. It’s a terrible habit, made worse by self-help articles that tell me I can even be an even better version of myself. I can Be Bester than this? I think. Say no more.

Narcissism is hard to spell. I am always autocorrected when I write it, like with my lay/lie auntie. I refuse to learn the proper way to spell it as long as autocorrect exists. Also, in my experience, words that are hard to spell make me sound drunk. If you sound drunk, people don’t take you seriously.

So, here are 5 Ways to Stop Narcissism from Killing your Creativity
Introducing The All New Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub
By: Dr. Nicholas Jenner
Tags: Codependency, Psychology, Narcissism, Self Improvement

When you are trying to deal with codependency, it is essential to work with a therapist who understands what it is, how to deal with it and has overcome his/her own codependency issues. I have been working with codependents for over 15 years and have defined a method that I know works and can have a life-changing effect on codependent’s lives.

My belief is that codependency symptoms are as individual as you are and one approach is often not enough. I firmly believe that due to this, any approach that looks to counter the varied symptoms of codependency, needs to be just as varied. It is for this very reason that I now offer the Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub, a complete package of resources aimed at codependents and their recovery.

Group Online Therapy: ( Starting January 23rd 2021) Sometimes, it helps to know that others are going through similar experiences. Group therapy is designed for you to interact with others in similar circumstances and share your story with them. That’s fine but this is different. Join four other codependents in a series of five intensive, totally private, 90 minute sessions, facilitated by me, to learn how you can cope and recover from codependency by learning the background and effective tools and methods. Why just talk, why not learn?

SESSION 1: The Roots Of Codependency SESSION 2: The Inner Child: Go Back To Where It All Started SESSION 3: Change That Codependent Thinking! SESSION 4: Maintain The New You!

Individual Therapy: Tailor-made program using effective, integrative therapeutic methods created for you and your needs. An all-round service that includes private, confidential sessions based on an agreed action plan, setting and monitoring of assignments between sessions and exclusive use of an encrypted chat app for questions and advice. Free Initial Consultation without obligation.

Codependent Community: Join the Free From Codependency community to discuss with others on all things codependency.

Articles and Podcasts: Browse and read through a vast bank of codependency articles, topical and constantly updated on all aspects of codependency. Listen to podcasts that get to the root of codependency and how to deal with it.

Codependency Stories: Read real-life stories of codependency and how it affected families, relationships and individuals.

Dr Jenner’s Bookshelf: My favourite books on codependency and what they can bring to the subject.
Why Others Treat You Badly If You Are Too Nice
By: Taylor Shaw
Tags: Narcissism, Mindfulness, Self, Psychology, Treatment

What does this have to do with the issue of “being too nice”?

I’ll come back to that in a moment. For now, let me show you by means of a partnership what happens when we are always too dear, when we please everyone else, when we put ourselves in the background and cannot set any limits. Sabrina and Jacob serve me as an example of this:

Sabrina idolizes Jacob. She always tries not to cause him any trouble and to read his wishes from the tip of his nose. With Jacob, this behaviour leads to a defence, which is shown by the fact that he acts annoyed. His self-esteem is pushed by Sabrina’s way of proving him right in everything and constantly seeking blame. He begins to believe what Sabrina suggests to him through her submissive behaviour - namely that he is especially great and valuable or even a star and therefore a rarity.

Now Jacob is standing on stage - metaphorically speaking about two metres above Sabrina, who looks like an ordinary fan from here, of whom there are thousands. Accordingly, he treats Sabrina like an annoying fan, who is grateful to cheer him on.
Soft
By: Sean Zhai
Tags: Emotions, Feelings, Poetry, Narcissism, Growth

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I am exhausted.
By: Rob Thompson
Tags: Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse

I am exhausted.

Exhausted of the fight.

Exhausted of the 10,000 micro interactions a day, 9,998 of which are centered on ensuring her day is perfect at the cost of everyone else’s sanity.

Exhausted of trying to articulate why others needs matter, too.

Exhausted of the same thing playing out at the national level.

No respite.

Ever.
The Myth of Narcissus
By: Clayton Cooper
Tags: Narcissism, Truth, Vulnerability, Personality, Poem

Thinking I want love, but maybe I just want to be a narcissist.

Maybe I just want to be seen for can’t ever be.

Maybe I just want to use a women to tell me to relax.

I don’t know how to tell her.

But the sirens are still beautiful.

Laying on a lonely air mattress.

It smells like a childhood fear and abandoned impulses.

A soothing loneliness strolled in the darkness.

I call it home, but her name is on the lease.

The memories scream, wanting to be hugged like I was never taught to.

I laughed. We smiled. I forget how to pretend.

With elegance, lips began act like children in museums.

Sex without solipsism?

Ecstasy tears,

each morsel of skin.

Each bead of sweat.

Each calcium of bone.

Two souls, catch their breath.

And they share it for a moment.

No-one knows why.

The cinema will tell us.

The poets will try.

The lie will keep us looking.

Tears dissolve the face paint.

An actor no longer.

Hercules arms are in the closet.

Einstein’s brain is on the floorboards.

Buddhism is the slogan for those suffering.

Trapped in a temple the writers can’t escape.

I am trying.

And sometimes I don’t want to.

Just know, my pain was worth it.

Stockholm syndrome looks down on me like your god.

And smiles, each tooth wincing.
A Mother’s Battle Against a Narcissistic Father
By: Anahide Tinghir
Tags: Abuse, Parenting, Children, Trauma, Narcissism

I was just a newborn when my mum had a recurrent nightmare. She was swimming in the ocean, holding me in her arms. Suddenly, I started slipping and she couldn’t catch me back. I sank to the bottom of the water as if I had been dragged from the surface by mysterious forces.

When she was pregnant with me, she almost miscarried. The midwife urged her to consult a therapist.

“Madam, I don’t know what the source of stress in your life is, but if it goes on you will lose your child.”

At 40, driven by a strong desire to have a second and last child, she decided to consult a psychiatrist to pull herself together. After only a few sessions, the psychiatrist, a specialist of the infamous “cluster b”, which includes narcissistic, histrionic, sociopathic, and borderline personality disorders, asked her the following question:

“Isn’t your companion a bit of a mythomaniac?”

My mother laughed at him. She couldn’t have been lied to for so many years.

The following week, worried for the father of her future child, who had to be hospitalized for a week due to his cancer, she decided to call his parents. Maybe they had heard from him.

I can only imagine her reaction when they told her that he was actually on vacation in their country house. They had never heard about a cancer.

Her world fell apart. She knew my father’s unpredictable temper was abnormal, and she had suffered during pretty much all of their relationship. But he had convinced her he would become a better man because learning he had cancer had been a profound shake.

Here is what he said to her when she left him:

“If it’s a girl I’ll steal her from you, if it’s a boy I’ll never give him anything.”

I was a baby girl. A 14 years-long legal battle ensued, at the end of which a judge finally changed the shared custody order so I wouldn’t have to visit my father anymore. Thanks to therapy, my Mum and I were able to understand that my father had a narcissistic personality disorder.

A person with a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is more than narcissistic

Like all personality disorders, narcissism exists on a spectrum. We can all be comforted by our egos when our peers give us negative feedback. We all have trouble in judging our worth and the legitimacy of our actions objectively.

However, people who bear an excessive narcissistic tendency have built a personality around an infallible “I” who cannot tolerate being challenged. A sense of self to which unlimited freedom would be granted to protect their fragile ego. A self that can destroy if it feels attacked. At the edge of paranoia and delirium, an irrational ego that goes into fits of rage because it cannot manage its emotions (this is a common characteristic of patients in the cluster B).

The mental health damages of having a parent with NDP are forever engraved in a child’s mind.
Even reading this makes my stomach turn.
Tags: Narcissism

Even reading this makes my stomach turn. I can’t help feeling you’ve been close and personal to one?

This was informative, and for me somewhat second nature. I feel I can smell them out pretty quickly and just refuse to be overly swayed by their manipulations (but I could be wrong, they may be 10 steps ahead and I just don’t know it).

Thanks.
The Condom Test
By: Tash Doherty
Tags: Sex, Sexual Health, Metoo, Health, Sexuality

The truth is, as a straight person with a vagina, I have a lot to lose if a sexual encounter goes wrong. If I have sex regularly with no birth control at all, I have an 85% chance of getting pregnant within a year (1). No sane person out there wants to have an unplanned pregnancy, and using a condom is obviously the easiest way to prevent that.

These days I have a Hormonal IUD for my birth control, so pregnancy isn’t my biggest concern. But I can still get a sexually transmitted infection from having unprotected sex (2). What I didn’t know until I wrote this article is that STIs often exhibit “biological sexism”(3). When infected with a disease like Chlamydia or Gonorrhea, “compared with men, women suffer more severe long-term consequences” from the disease, including “infertility, ectopic pregnancy, chronic pelvic pain, and cervical cancer”(4). Thank you, evolution!

True, condoms can get in the way of the moment. But as a decent human being, it is a sign of respect to offer to use one with your partner. At the very least, it shows that you take the risk of ruining their health seriously. Condoms have been around for centuries, and I wish we no longer needed them, or that we had invented some better technology. But we haven’t. Also, the rates of STIs are at an all-time high, with over 1.7 million cases of Chlamydia reported in 2018 in the United States alone. The condom is all we have, so it pays off to use them consistently, or risk being an asshole.

Two my previous partners stand out for the best anti-condom excuses. The first, James*, refused to wear a condom because he said he was “a man”, and “men do not wear condoms”. Another, Simon*, said he didn’t need a condom because all the people he had slept with in the last couple months didn’t have an STI, and he was clean. Simon obviously had no idea if this was true, because he hadn’t been tested (and only 12% of people get tested for STIs every year(5)). Yet, somehow, I trusted both James and Simon and had unprotected sex with them anyway. What was I thinking?
Kala, I admire your forthrightness and courage.
By: Judy Hnat
Tags: Metoo, Sexual Abuse, Misogyny

Kala, I admire your forthrightness and courage.

And I feel obliged to assert that you do not – under any circumstances – need to “respectfully” disagree. We don’t need to “respectfully” demand that our intimate partners – and this includes Queer intimate partners – stop, slow down, take a separate cab, go home, or simply let us be.

We – cisgendered womyn – are unculturated to believe that our verbal AND physical communication, is most acceptable – and thereby more effective – when it is polite; another word for respectful. This is particularly true, and most dangerous, when it appears that the content of that communication is contrary to the recipient’s perceived entitlement/s.

The very same systemic misogyny that teaches men that access to our bodies is free, entrenches in our psyches that it’s better to smile, cajole, and persuade. That we should be respectful when we make statememts, assertions, and demands. This is an old paradigm and one that me must ALL continue to work toward dismantling.

To disagree is enough.

And so, are you.
Idle Trauma
By: Sarah Jack
Tags: Trigger Warning, Metoo, Trauma, Survivor, Unknown

You know when you see someone you recognize, but you can’t match a name to a face? Like you’re 85% sure that you know them, but not enough to engage?

Yeah… So, I was jogging around Downton the other week and this man walks past. I got that weird sense that I knew him, but it wasn’t a feeling of warm familiar, no, it was more like a wave of dread. Like a dear in headlights kind of feeling. Anyway, I kept jogging, but it was on a circular path so I ended up passing him again.

Caucasian, receding hairline, late thirties, heavier set.

…And again that same sense of negative familiarity.

This time I decided to stop for a water break, close enough I could still see him, but not close enough to strike a conversation.

Caucasian, receding hairline, late thirties, heavier set…

I’ve given this description before. Several times in fact. And you see, it never got me anywhere, the case was dismissed, no one ever fessed up, no one was ever found. Seeing this individual, fitting the description, paired with that unsettling feeling…

I decided to watch him for a bit. You know, just to curb my curiosity.

Curiosity quickly boiled into an obsession. I wanted to confront this man, to scream at him, to hit him, to watch him suffer.

But I stopped myself, because I couldn’t be sure. And I know, I will likely never know.
Syrian, 8-year old She won first place in a mental arithmetic
By: Hasan Almossa
Tags: Intelligent, Metoo, Smart, Syria, Creators

8-year-old Syrian, Sarah Kayali, from Hazano in #Idlib has a mind for numbers. Today She won first place in a mental arithmetic competition organized internationally, outperforming 6111 children from 19 countries. Despite the harsh living conditions, she shows Syrian spirit
I can’t afford your therapy.
By: Jess Hess
Tags: Therapy, Metoo, Poetry, Rhymes

I can’t afford your therapy.

I am mentally ill.

I’m white. I’m privileged,

but I still can’t pay my bills.

The holocaust is at my border,

knocking at our doors.

What a fucked up way to think,

“at least I’m only poor.”

Policemen always smile at me.

They never write me up.

Studying my un-bra-ed breasts,

they lick their lips and fill their cup.

There’s plastic in the ocean.

There’s plastic in my mind.

There’s plastic in my old t-shirts.

There’s plastic in my wine.

Speaking of, I shouldn’t drink.

I’ve been raped twice on booze,

mislabeling these men as ‘friends.’

(You know when you assume.)

I’ve made an ass out of myself.

I’ve made an ass of God.

As if the universe could care

about my summer bod,

but I catch a glimpse of mirror-me

every morning, misty-eyed.

If only I could melt or carve

away the flesh that makes my thighs!

Sometimes, I refuse to eat.

Other times, I feast

on butterscotch, on extra cheese,

or sweetened nut milk coffee drinks.

I’m not sure if I’m fully straight.

I’m not sure that I’m bi.

I’m not sure if my trauma

has stuffed me stiff with lies.

I do know I’m a product

of my current time,

but even more so of my country

and of capitalist crime.

So now, I can’t afford your therapy,

but I’ve been ill for years,

so it’s ok. I’ll have to deal

with being ill,

I guess, until

I guess,

until I disappear.
No, She said no
By: Mary Jane Little
Tags: Metoo, Me Too Movement, Abuse Survivors, Childhood Sexual Abuse

“Don’t tell, he said”

No

She said no

He didn’t listen

Or care

It’s okay, he said

It’s what good girls do

Don’t tell, he said

She screamed no

Louder

And louder

And then realized

No sound came out

Through the painful violence

Was defining silence

So she lay motionless

Frozen in time

Screaming no

But no one heard

Or cared

And took what they wanted

Again and again

She said no

She was just a little girl

Alone

No, please no
週報｜弦子和她的朋友們：留下記錄，向歷史要一個答案
By: Matters Lab
Tags: Metoo, China

Matters is a decentralized content publishing platform for creators to better publish, manage, license, and monetize their work.
How did I manage to live despite all the difficulties and pains? “,)
By: Ohwell Seven
Tags: Depression, Metoo, Wisdom, Child Abuse, Menopause

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash

They say life begins at 40, may I know why? I’ll be 40 in the next 30hrs.

What’s with four-zero? I’m not sure. I don’t know. I have no idea.

When I was younger, I thought, I wouldn’t reach that age.

I was born with a teenager and minor mom, raised in the extended poor family, sexually abused as a child, raped by a Holy Man in my mid-20s, got pregnant by another Holy Man, I had a miscarriage, diagnosed with early and premature menopause before 30, lost my job for a decision I thought would make me rich but no, I’m jobless especially during this pandemic times. My sister and one of my best friends died with ovarian cancer, my aunts too died with cancer. I was lost and confused. Remained single and never been married.

I struggled to make ends meet. I’m still breathing. Why?

I often asked myself, why am I still here? Why am I still alive? Why am I still breathing? What else is there for me? What else could this world offer?

I’m nothing, I made a lot of mistakes, I’m a failure, I’m a sinner. I’m nobody.

These thoughts almost had me kill myself a few times. But it never happened.

Why? I thought of my poor parents, my siblings, my nephews and nieces, my relatives, my grandparents, my friends who cared deeply for me.

None of them knew what I went through except for my deceased best friend. Her death makes me want to join her 3 days before the start of the World lockdown. I’ve never seen her remains, it’s still in France. :(

What keeps me going? The thought of helping out.

Helping those in need, helping those in trouble, helping those who had similar challenges as I am.

I’m not gonna lie, I lost hope, faith, confidence, self-esteem, I became so weak but I’m still keeping myself busy trying to live for the people I love much and who were rooting for me.

I envisioned my 40 to be living and helping out a lot of people. I have forgiven all those who wronged me including the Managers who dismissed me from their teams. I just hope that they are now the best versions of themselves. I understand them.

I must face this crazy beautiful world and conquer all these challenges. I still ought to meet some wonderful and amazing people out there!

Let us all live with a Happy Thought, a Healthy Body, & a Peaceful Heart.

Cheers my friends! Take care!
Yes, The #MeToo Movement Received A Backlash
Tags: Metoo, Life, Sexual Harassment, Feminism, Women

November was my birthday month.

I forgot that my birthday was available to the public in my LinkedIn profile, and I only realized this, well… on my birthday.

Greetings poured in from people I didn’t know. Of course, I was grateful for the time they spent to click on the button that sends an instant greeting. Such heartfelt greetings.

Gratitude is important, and so is respect.

Sometimes, people often mistake kindness for something else. I guess a corrupted mind has something to do with it. But we never know.

Being on the professional platform was necessary for me to be noticed by recruiters. Getting a job was a priority, and it still is up to this moment.

Maybe I’m naïve, but I never expected sustaining a conversation was seen as a signal to steer the conversation to the direction I never planned to go.

I responded because I’m not that cold. But I realized maybe I have to learn how to be cold.

What should I have done then? I’m a bag of emotions.

Two conversations started with a birthday greeting. To be honest, I never knew they were on my contact list until they sent me a greeting.

What I knew was I accepted anyone who sent a request for the sake of expanding my network. I mean, what could go wrong?

To find out about their intentions wasn’t what I expected from a professional network. It’s LinkedIn. Not Facebook, and most importantly, not Tinder.

Ladies, if you’re reading this, when a dude (not a gentleman at all) says ¨Dear¨ within three minutes into the conversation, then know that the title under his name is irrelevant. Perhaps you already know this.

But in my case, I had good intentions and I believe people have good intentions too.

It’s pathetic how these people are desperate to even use a professional network to stir up a conversation they think would lead to the bedroom.

They had the guts to attempt unwanted conversations at an unusual time where a pandemic is happening, and that makes me loathe them even more.

I’m alarmed, disappointed, and disgusted to know that no matter what title appears under a person’s name, they become monsters the moment they make unwanted advances.
The Assistant — Review
By: Matthew Radway
Tags: Metoo, Me Too Movement, Movie Review, Movies

Released at a time when the entertainment industry is finally addressing the abuse within its walls, The Assistant shows that abuse played out on the big screen.

My issue with many films that grapple with that issue is the typical Hollywood “punch the air” moment (see Bombshell) and/or the focus on the perpetrator as much as, or more than, the person being victimized (see almost everything). Hollywood needs a happy ending, a resolution, a neat little story arc that leaves the audience feeling satisfied that things worked out as they should. It’s telling then that The Assistant’s writer/director Kitty Green (Casting JonBenet) comes from a documentary background. This film may be fiction but it’s not typical Hollywood — it’s real.

Praise is due to Green in abundance. The sheer amount of research that has gone into the script and the deft, creative direction are superb. The cinematography by Michael Latham (Casting JonBenet) must also be mentioned — his use of color in particular adds to Green’s direction to create a truthful, documentary-style mise-en-scène. Again, it is no surprise that he comes from a documentary background.

Julia Garner (Ozark, The Americans) is outstanding as Jane, the new assistant to an unnamed and unseen movie executive. The Assistant follows Jane through a single day in her job, and Garner’s performance is engrossing. I felt every frustration, every moment of pain, every quiet horror that her character endured so deeply that her performance stuck with me for days.

The presence of the executive hangs over every moment of the film, even though we never see him. Keeping him just out of sight is a lovely touch, and it aptly reminds me of a horror film truism — a monster is always scariest when you know it’s there but you can’t see it. Here, the monster is unsettlingly pervasive, creating a tension that dominates every frame.

Matthew Macfadyen (Succession, Quiz) continues his streak of excellent performances with the insipid, insidious HR director who props up his corrupt boss. It’s a small but important role and Macfadyen makes it his own.

The Assistant is a film in which a lot, and yet very little, happens. It highlights the mundanity of being a cog in a machine, the powerlessness that comes with being a small fish in a billion-dollar pond and the raw truth that the good ones don’t always win. It’s deeply unpleasant, which is exactly how it should be.

I cannot praise The Assistant enough. Like its protagonist, this film is quiet, but deserves to be heard loudly.

Want more recommendations like these? Join us at narrativemuse.co to discover new stories by and about intersectional women and gender diverse people.
The ball does not show the dirt
By: Samuel Gnanadurai
Tags: Artist, Metoo, Art, Maradona, Football

The very month I was born, a man was ruling the imaginations of many young people around the globe with his ability to dance with a ball in his legs. Maradona, the name spelt wonder! I have seen my dad go ‘awww’ as he spoke about the man’s ability to dumbfound defenders with scintillating football moves. There is a moment, which youtube has shown us millions of times when he immortalised life with 11 secs of sheer brilliance. An 11-sec hymn! There was something about his football that made the world stop and look at him. Something!

Yet, that man was a flawed human. His addiction to alcohol and drugs is well-documented history. He was banned for doping and investigated for alleged involvement with criminal gangs. In fact, he was sent off a world cup for drug usage. Accused of racism, abusing journalists and worse was even jailed for using an air rifle. Fighting court battles to disprove parenthood are not gracious acts.

I’m fighting within my inner demons of separating the art from the artist. How do you celebrate a man, who has caused so much pain and anxiety to his near and dear ones, says the logical brain. Ah, look at his dazzling skills; how could you not laud the sheer magic of his dancing feet with a football? The heart rebukes the brain.

When the #metoo movement happened and many of esteemed artists like singer karthik and the lyricists vairamtuhu were accused of misusing women, the brain did create a flutter. How on earth did I enjoy Karthik’s singing of all people? Why, oh why Vairamuthu? Why did you let me down? was a constant chant of my head. Yet, the heart’s ability to look at the art, apart from the artist often held the fort.

Where do we draw the line? Can we celebrate art for the sake of it? Or should we expect higher moral responsibility on artists, just coz they inevitably become role models for the world around?

On the day Maradona bid adieu to football, apparently his voice cracked and he sobbed and said “La pelota no se mancha” The ball does not show the dirt!

The fallible human should never be forgotten, no not even with time. But no matter how hollow the humanness was, it should never be allowed to cast a shadow over the glow the art begot. “La pelota no se mancha” The ball does not show the dirt!
백마. See I have no human face
By: Brittney Winters
Tags: South Korea, Sexual Assault, Metoo, Feminism, Sexism

See I have no human face

See my hands are cut off at the wrists

It’s okay; I’m only baekma

Eyes are everywhere,

violating me

Is this a body?

Is this my body?

Cut me and I’ll laugh

C t me

and

l l g

Horse is injured

Got to put her down

I will stand on bloody hooves

and wait for you to remember

me

I won’t make a sound

I don’t have a voice

I’m baekma

You thought evil wasn’t of this world

I have no fingers to point,

look, the evil’s over there

Bury the baekma, bury the evidence

no proof, no crime

no outrage, no remorse

Wish I were a statue

skin made of steel

Impenetrable

I would laugh at flesh

and my heart would not rot with rage

Clothes are for people

Here, let you inspect me

meat and hide

I have no shame,

I have no dignity

I have no demands

Free to first bidder

and second

and third

and last

tadaaaaaaaaaaa

I run all night

and never run out

My hands were cut off at the wrists

Broken in

ma

ma

Was I being saved for this?

Why wasn’t I saved from this?

“I believe that humans should be plants”

sexless, still

because I can’t let you figure out

I’m baekma

lest you try to ride me,

even though you pull the reins.

Muzzle that is your hand

I can’t breathe

and no one will say my name

Baekma, Baekma

Excuse me, oppa

请问, oppa

すみません, oppa

Прошу прощения, oppa

Please excuse the interruption, oppa,

what’s funny?

Is it me, oppa?

Is it the humors coming out of me?

Am I the humorist?

Wait, I must stop

Must stop, oppa

please, let me stop

So sorry, oppa

I beg forgiveness for my pain

I am Baekma, after all

I am not a plant

I bleed and

I have eyes, too
Sexual harassments still commonly exist at workplace in Japan
By: Yuri Crane
Tags: Metoo, Gender Discrimination, Sexual Harassment, Workplace, Japan

Source: https://pin.it/6mv0Urs

When I shared my experience about sexual harassment at workplace, many of my friends also shared that they had similar experience at work. It’s not just one or two, but at least more than what I can count with one hand. Most cases were sexual harassments coming from a power structure such as a boss asking sexual stuff or touching uncomfortably which were completely not related to work.

I thought such harassments existed in the old toxic culture where only people from older generation had experienced in Japan, so I was surprised when I realised that the culture still existed in the society deeply. I knew working in Japan would be pretty rough but I got overwhelmed after I actually started working and I myself went through it. Also considering my friends have been treated in such ways, I can’t hide my anger towards the society which allows treating young female employees terribly.
Yesterday, marked two thousand, one hundred and ninety days since I was raped.
By: Aimée-Louise Carton
Tags: Metoo, Life, Recovery, Mental Health, My Story

This anniversary, six years since my attack, has made me take pause to reflect on how things have changed. While I am still struggling with PTSD, I know I have come on so far, mostly due to the people in my life who have burned brightest against the darkness of my mind.

It started with an epileptic seizure on a night out and a friend offered to take me home, because in my weakened state I was scared to walk home by myself. I was scared of the unknown dangers that exist in the darkness for a young woman alone at night. I didn’t know that the dangers would be known, that they would come from someone I trusted. It turns out the boogeyman doesn’t hide in the darkness. He existed in my world, with blonde hair and a smile I knew too well.

In the aftermath, I changed. While I once used to be strong and fearless, my world became as dark as that cold November night, I grew distant from loved ones and my passion for the world blew out, I became just a shadow of who I once was.

It took me three years to reach breaking point, for PTSD to seek its revenge. I was exhausted. I wanted to give up the fight, to wave the flight flag and attempt to make the final escape from the unrelenting darkness that that night created.

But by reaching rock bottom, thankfully, I was saved.

Sexual assault recovery is hard. It is not about healing entirely as if the trauma never happened, but instead the focus is learning to accept that it happened and grow despite it. Three years of recovery later and I still struggle with PTSD, with the flashbacks and fear that is created from an attack like this. This past week has been particularly hard in the run up to the anniversary. It has been filled with tears, exhaustion and anxiety, flashbacks and nightmares of his hands on my throat, his cologne, his voice.

Because even though it is six years on, experiencing trauma is not something that just goes away.

However, its affects are lessened by the patience of my family, by the countless movie and pizza nights with friends, and the sensitivity of my partner. It was because of each of their generosity and kindness that I have been able to recover, their love is the beacon that always guides me in from the chaotic and painful storm that is PTSD.

Although it might not be on the forefront of people’s minds given the pandemic, this remains a devastating issue that we need to continue talking about. More than 2,270 women reported rape or sexual violence to the Irish Gardai (police) in 2018. Cases that get reported account for just 8.4% of actual sexual violence that occurs. To put this context, this means that nearly 25,000 cases go unreported.

And since March due to Covid-19, there has been a 39% increase in calls to Women’s Aid, Ireland.

Someone you may know might be struggling.

It’s your turn to guide them in from the storm.
Things Rapists Say: How Entitled Criminals Try To Hide Assault From Victims.
By: Samantha Clarke
Tags: Sexual Assault, Metoo, Culture, Crime, Human Rights

Rapists Are Insidious…And You Might Not Even Recognize It When They Assault You.

I now understand what it means to be raped by your own husband. It took me nearly 3 months to recognize it for what it really was, then when it happened again multiple times, there was no denying I was literally married to an active rapist.

I was actually raped by another man while I had been married, and hadn’t told my spouse that it happened because I was afraid and ashamed, and ended up blaming myself for years that it happened— so I thought I knew the full ways which rape could occur. But I didn’t even think about the possibility that a person could be raped by their own partner — who does that? Well, it turns out that there are many of us.

I had no idea this person I loved and had trusted for years sleeping beside me…would be capable of becoming openly sexually violent with me and others — we’d been married for ten years before he started fully showing his true colors. Marital rape is real violence, and those who’ve endured it know the affects of trauma are even greater than by a stranger.

So here are some statements that I’ve both read and heard that rapists say before, during, or after rape that might clue you in to recognizing an assault.
When you share your story, you help others open their doors to healing.
By: Jayda Thuy Le
Tags: Writing Life, Child Sexual Abuse, Metoo, Healing Journey, You Are Not Alone

When you share your story, you help others open their doors to healing. You help others heal as much as you needed to. It can happen to anyone.
Why Do I Not Feel Sorry For Harvey Weinstein in Light of a Possible Final Battle
By: Joel Eisenberg
Tags: Movies, True Crime, Harvey Weinstein, Metoo, Covid 19

Year One

The party was excruciatingly loud; speakers it seemed were everywhere and the music was on full blast. For anyone to hear anything but music required shouting at the top of one’s lungs. Also, the attendees were packed into the three-story bar-restaurant like sardines. It was more than a smidge uncomfortable.

In other words, a typical late-night Sundance party.

My wife was with me, and we thought if we escaped the madness from the first floor things may settle. Well, it took nearly 20 minutes to arrive on the second floor — that’s how crowded this thing was — and another 20 to make it to the third.

There were no open seats to be found.

We were ready to give up and get out at that point … but the stairwell was now completely blocked.

We stuck it out when my wife elbowed me.

Harvey Weinstein, sitting at a table with a dozen women; not a one of them could have possibly been older than 25. Harvey was by then perhaps the biggest producer in the business, best known for films such as the Best Picture Oscar-winning “Shakespeare in Love,” “The King’s Speech” and “The Artist,” “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy (multi-Oscar-awarded), “Good Will Hunting” (ditto), the “Scream” series, and numerous others.

For whatever reason he caught my eye — perhaps one of the women keyed him in — and I took it as an excuse to open that door. My business is about networking, after all.

I mentioned the acquaintance, and Harvey was actually receptive.

“You’re kidding?” he asked. “It’s been a dog’s age.” That’s what the words sounded like anyway, which is my disclaimer.

“No. For many years …” I responsed.

We spoke for a few minutes, until he (rightfully) said he didn’t want to be rude to his “company.”

We shook hands and that was that. My wife asked what we spoke about. I told her.

“Nice guy?” she asked.

“Seemed okay,” I said.

“What do you think he’s doing with all those women?”

Let’s just say my wife has the common sense in the family. No, neither of us knew a thing, but the scene was quite unusual.

We forgot about it until the following year.
Lines
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Abuse, Self Harm, Metoo, Poetry, Poem

Line after line on my arm

Scabbing over and over

You rubbed the healed skin away

You might as well have been holding the blade
Help me
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Poetry On Medium, Metoo, Poetry, Sexual Assault

Hi, I’m Jacqueline, and I write poetry, thanks for stopping by.
Fine
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Sexual Assault, Metoo, Poetry, Rhymes, Slam Poetry

It’s over now, you’ll be fine. Those words I’ve heard, probably, over 400 times. Because of course it’s been over a year now, I should just move on, but I’m still filled with so much fear. Hands shaking, body aching, heart… breaking. You’re being dramatic, why is it even still on your mind? Sure, it only happened three times so I guess I’m one of the lucky ones, right? I survived so I should just be grateful and shut up for the common good. But do you understand how long it took me to even say a word? With his grip on my heart and my mouth tied shut, I screamed so fucking loud, but no one ever heard.” Are you sure that’s what really happened? Because no one’s gonna believe you, you shouldn’t of put yourself in that situation.” I mean I think.., no, I know that’s what happened you see, he was my boyfriend at the time and he put his hand in mine and that was fine! But we started drinking and I guess the alcohol was just too strong, because he started screaming at me to just go along with what was happening, and in my head it all made sense, he’s my man, that’s fine, that’s consent. I’m so sorry, I really am, but I hate him for what he’s done. So I guess what I’m trying to say to you, even though I wish it was not true, me too.
Please don’t touch me
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Poetry On Medium, Metoo, Poetry, Sexual Assault

Please don’t touch me

I know you won’t hurt me

But your hand on my arm

Shadows his not letting go

And honestly at times

I can’t tell the difference
Grey Tiles
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Poetry On Medium, Sexual Assault, Metoo, Poetry, Poem

Collapsed onto the tiled floor

I still remember the marbled pattern I traced with my finger tips

The crack in my phone remains from you kicking it across the tiles when I picked it up

I felt the cold tile against my bare skin for what seemed like an eternity

The numbing sensation of the tile on my back lifted me from the fog that you drowned me in that night

Part of me still rests on those marbled patterns

My tears, my blood

But worst of all

My hope
Seconds
By: Jacqueline Franklin
Tags: Poetry On Medium, Trigger Warning, Sexual Assault, Metoo, Poetry

I remember the second it happened

The moment I realized what was about to occur

Do you know what that’s like?

To look into the eyes of someone who is about to ruin years of laughter and innocence

I remember the second it happened

With his hands on my hips and my eyes closed tightly

Do you know what that’s like?

For someone to take control of you and put their hands on your body as if they own it?

I remember the second it happened

I begged for him to stop and slow down, he smiled as he pushed into me harder

Do you know what that’s like?

To be manipulated into trusting something with something as simple as a drink?

I remember the second it happened

As I stumbled into a strangers bathroom, only wearing a bra falling onto the cold tile

Do you know what that’s like?

To physically be incapable to hold a phone to call your mother and beg for help?

I remember the second it happened

I grabbed the sink to support me up, just to look down and see my blood on the floor

Do you know what that’s like?

To be hurt so bad, and still be confused on what’s happening?

I remember the second it happened

When he whispered in my ear that it will be okay

I remember the second my scariest secret began
Trial By Sophistry: Marilyn Manson Subjected To Opportunistic Sensationalism
By: Joshua Scott Hotchkin
Tags: News, Marilyn Manson, Journalism, Metoo, Music

Trial By Sophistry: Marilyn Manson Subjected To Opportunistic Sensationalism

In the 10 Questions We Would Like Marilyn Manson To Answer, media troll Scott Rowley presents the public with a number of accusations pretending to be authentic questions about Manson’s past relationships and potential abuse. This is not how journalism is done.

If you suspect an aggression has occurred, as a journalist, it is your job to provide several pieces of convincing evidence against the aggressor, and present them as factual information. This puts the burden of proof on the journalist, just as a prosecutor would have to provide evidence beyond a reasonable doubt, as a standard ethical and legal practice. This is not how Scott Rowley chose to investigate some potentially alarming connections he drew from Manson’s past.

Instead the yellow journalist posed his accusations as questions, without any evidence; which simultaneously placed the idea of Manson as abuser in the mind of his audience while simultaneously being irresistible clickbait. There is absolutely no journalistic integrity, or ethical standard, in conducting yourself this way. Especially not when the topic is a high stakes game with emotionally driven content that can destroy a person’s reputation and opportunities forever.

This was character assassination for the sake of product sales and career advancement, done with nihilistic sophistry of a troll. Even worse, it appropriates the narrative of abuse against women for the benefit of an ambitious male media figure. And an editorial decision to use ‘we’ in the title makes Metal Hammer, and their parent publication Louder, just as culpable in this heinous, opportunistic slander.

I honestly do not know if Manson is guilty of the things these insinuations accuse him of, and I will not speak on behalf of his innocence or guilt. Regardless, if he was abusive towards women, responsible journalists or investigators would need to meet certain standards before presenting their suspicions to the public.

Even more damning is that Scott Rowley is not alone this behavior. It has become a conversational norm in social media, and the modus operandi of unscrupulous media figures who thrive on intentional misinformation. The format of a question does not justify any spurious insinuations, accusations or implications contained within the question. ‘?’ — does not make a statement neutral of judgment or slander. The internet has made us all too used to saying terrible things, hidden in some guise which allows the user to declare themselves innocent-by-indirectness. Indirect statements tend to be just as effective in public forums in influencing audience perception. If you want to say something accusatory or nasty, have the integrity and courage to just say it, but do not pretend there is any way whatsoever you can present those attacks as neutral. Cowardice, denial and self-delusion are neither dignified nor honorable shields from which to launch your weaponized rhetoric.
Exactly the same reasoning for myself!
Tags: Hairstyle, Short Hair, Metoo

Exactly the same reasoning for myself! I cut all my hair off at school because everyone looked the same, and I wasn’t About to conform anymore, to me, hiding your face wasn’t beauty; it was about bringing out your eyes and cheekbones with short, messy, shaven-in-places hairstyle