Don’t Rely on New Year’s Resolutions
By: Kristina Hemzacek
Tags: Self Improvement, Motivation, Self, Strategy, New Year Resolution

Don’t Rely on New Year’s Resolutions

Your life is happening today.

Photo by Isaac Smith on Unsplash

I am not here to bash on New Year’s Resolutions. They’re great and they can be very useful. There is something extremely comforting and revitalising about them. Just like most people, I like starting fresh on the first day of the new year. I just think we might need to tweak resolutions a little bit to actually get them to work.

Boiling Frog and Resistance

It takes about two months (a little over 60 days) to form a new habit and, depending on the habit, it may take even longer to reap the benefits of it.

So, let’s say that you decide to meditate every day starting in January. You will sit down on January 1st, or maybe 2nd, with some guided meditation you found on YouTube after you realised that you had decided to try this thing but didn’t do any research on it in advance, and you’re pretty hungover and tired, and all you really want to do is just stay on the couch and watch Home Alone for the gazillionth time… ahem, what were you supposed to be doing? Oh, right! Meditation. Maybe you could just postpone it until tomorrow. Or, like, next week. You’ll have some more time and inspiration then. Maybe you’ll do it after the movie, or after you check your phone, or after dinner, or after you brush your teeth, or after…

Once when “after” will have finally arrived, you will sit down and try to follow the guided meditation and it will be boring. Trust me, it will be boring. People say that it’s amazing and that they feel great after it, they are so calm and centered, but the first time (and the next few times probably), it will be boring.

You will want to get up and do something else. Your brain will go into overdrive and what is an apparently endless stream of consciousness will have drowned you. You will get up from your chair, sofa, or floor and decide that this whole thing is just overrated so you’ll be better off doing something else.

Now that might be true. Meditation is not for everyone.

But this could be applied to any resolution you may have right now. You might try journaling, exercising every day (ambitious and probably not a great idea, you need rest days), eating healthier, cutting out some food, drink, or activity. Whatever it is, the first time you try it, you will not like it because your brain is not used to the effort it takes to do it, which causes resistance.

To make sure you stick with your New Year’s Resolutions, start preparing your brain for them today. You want to exercise every day (you should really think about some rest days) and now you are not exercising at all? Start by exercising once this week, then twice next week, three times the week after that. You see where I’m going with this.

Think of your brain as the proverbial boiling frog. When a frog is in a pot of water that is being slowly heated, it will (according to the fable, though not reality) not jump out. You need to warm up your brain to your resolutions.

Think BIG and Be Prepared for the Worst

Another way to go about it might be making a big resolution. Something truly life-changing. Perhaps you want to change your career, go back to school, learn a new language, leave your partner, or find a partner.

I’m thinking something really big.

Usually, we are advised against setting goals that are too large because it’s easy to become overwhelmed and give up too soon. But that too can be avoided with a little bit of preparation.

So take some time and think of a big goal. The sky is the limit — well, my front door is my limit currently, but one can hope.

When the goal is set, because it’s so large, it’s impossible to try tackling it altogether at once. It necessary to create a strategy, a plan of attack. Think about how you can go about achieving this goal. Take this month to research it. Join an online community of like-minded people, read an inspiring biography or story, learn from others who have managed to achieve what you want to achieve. Write it all down.

Now, look at your plan and think about all the things that could go wrong. I mean, everything that could cause you to quit, everything that could cause problems for you in achieving it. Your fears, money, other people and their negativity, your negativity (we can all get into our own heads sometimes), lack of knowledge.

What are you afraid of? What do you think is missing? What do you need to move forward? What is stopping you from achieving your goal? Think of worst case scenarios. Will you need more money, more time, more patience, a better support system?

Analyse your “worst case scenarios”. Scrutinise every little thing about them and learn from them. Create several strategies that will have you prepared for almost anything life may throw at you.

Visualise and Work Hard

Now that you are prepared for the worst case, think of the best case scenario. Write it down. Put it on your fridge. Stick it on the wall above your desk at home. If you are a particularly visual person (as is the majority of the people), try making a vision board by drawing or making a collage of cut-outs.

While visualisation is really important in achieving your goals, it is only important insofar as it motivates you to do the work that needs to be done. The same is true for big goals and even, more generally, for setting New Year’s Resolutions. They should be an inspiration for you to do more work to become the person you want to be.

But you also need to realise that you are that person today. You today has the potential, the discipline, the strength, the perseverance to be the you you want to be next year.

So, since your life is happening today, start being that person today by slowly incorporating small changes that will prepare you for the big change you are hoping will come in a month.