7 Overlooked Signs You’re Living an Extraordinary Life
By: Barry Davret
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Inspiration, Relationships, Psychology

1. You’ve made or kept a character commitment.

Friends used to describe me as a great starter but a poor finisher. I tended to drift from ambition to ambition, embarking on new ventures with unbridled excitement, only to lose interest at the first roadblock. But five years ago, I changed my approach to life.

It began when I reacquainted myself with my love of writing. To ensure I’d stick with my passion, I made a character commitment.

A pledge you make to yourself to do something every day, forever, that defines your character and individuality — character commitment.

In the last five years, I’ve made two of these commitments: writing and piano playing. Together, these two passions have brought me fulfillment and meaning.

Even if you’re not familiar with the term, you may have taken a similar path. If you’ve pledged to do something you love or something that produces some good in the world, and you’ve kept at, no matter the outward success, you deserve a trophy.

2. You’re slightly embarrassed at your past.

Think back to your life from ten or twenty years ago. Are you embarrassed by any of it? I was a passive-aggressive arrogant fool. I wish I could forget so much of it.

As recent as five years ago, I thought my writing rivaled the greatest writers in the English language. Now, I blush and cower in a dark closet whenever I glance at my old stuff. But that’s a good thing; it means I’ve improved.

If you’re prouder of your past than your present, then you haven’t recognized your mistakes, you haven’t gotten better at what you do, you haven’t grown as an individual.

If you look back on the old you and cringe at your immaturity, assholery, or undeserved arrogance, then congratulate yourself. You’ve grown up, matured, and bettered yourself. Some people never do.

3. You question your sacred beliefs.

You probably know family and friends who cling to outdated views long since proven untrue, yet they lack the maturity and courage to admit they’re wrong. An extraordinary person sees these situations as opportunities to grow. They accept that some of what they believe today will be superseded by what they learn tomorrow.

But as Kathryn Schulz wrote in her book Being Wrong, most folks don’t take that approach. She writes that we see errors as “evidence of our gravest social, intellectual, and moral failures.” So, instead of evaluating conflicting information, we refuse to consider it.

People who admit they’re wrong and give up ideas that fail the truth test show they possess open-mindedness and humility. If you’re one of those people, you’re part of the elite minority.

4. You’re a net-positive in your relationships.

When it comes to interpersonal relationships, we fall into one of three buckets. Some folks act as a drag on others, sapping people of energy, and infecting them with toxic negativity. After encountering one of them, you feel depleted, angry, and despondent all at the same time.

Most of us aspire to inject joy into our interactions and leave people in a better state than when they first encountered us.

In truth, we probably fall somewhere in the middle on most occasions. We may even have a few bad days. That comes with the territory of being human; you can’t be on your game all the time.

But if you can make others feel joy, inspired, or grateful some of the time while remaining neutral the rest of the time, you’re a net-positive. That makes you an asset to the world.

5. You take responsibility for most of your mistakes.

Nobody escapes life always saying the right words, taking the right actions, and thinking the kindest thoughts. That’s why we admire people who own up to their mistakes and do their best to clean up whatever mess lingers in their wake.

There have been times where I’ve screwed up and denied it, deflected blame, or defended my actions knowing I was in the wrong. As I’ve matured, I’ve become more attuned to the impact my mistakes have on others and myself. But it’s the act of taking responsibility that has made me a better person.

There’s no shame in screwing up; it’s how you respond to mistakes that define you. There’s a quote from the iconic movie, Wall Street that best sums up this thinking.

Bud Fox (played by Charlie Sheen) has just helped the feds nail the evil tycoon, Gordon Gecko. Fox is with his father on the way to the courthouse. His father says, “You told the truth and gave the money back. All things considered in this cockamamie world, you’re shooting par.”

6. You explore your curiosities.

Curiosity is the gap between what you know and what you want to know. Taking action to close that gap will fulfill you in a way that external reward never will.

All of us harbor curiosities that yearn for exploration. I suppressed mine for decades thinking there would be time later. I got lucky. Time worked in my favor.

But if I could do it all over again, I would have started 30 years ago, instead of 5 years ago. I can only imagine how much better a writer I’d be today or how much more adept I’d be banging away on the piano keys.

If you’ve dedicated a portion of your life to explore your curiosities, please congratulate yourself on a life well-lived.

7. You’ve given up on conditional happiness.

Perhaps it’s culture, human nature, or a combination of both. There’s an idea that to achieve happiness, you must meet specific outcomes in life.

I’ll be happy only when my income reaches $250,000.

I’ll be happy only when I get promoted to Vice President.

I’ll be happy only when I find a romantic partner.

The notion of conditional happiness is the shortest path to misery. Intellectually, you know that in your twenties. But to believe it and live it, you need to experience the disappointment that stems from valuing your worth based on life outcomes. For me, the realization came in my forties.

If you’ve accepted that contentment does not depend on getting that promotion, scoring that obscene income, or whatever targets you can’t seem to hit, you’re either past your 40th birthday or a really well-adjusted individual.