Get Over Yourself Already
By: Diann Wingert
Tags: Blog, Confidence

There’s a reason you’re not where you’re “supposed to be.” You know what I mean. Living that bigger, more badass and infinitely better life that you’ve been dreaming of and vision boarding and manifesting so hard it hurts. And in spite of all the victim mindset bullshit that you are absolutely convinced is simply “speaking your truth” and being authentic, somewhere deep down, I mean really deep, you know you’re lying to yourself because you’re scared shitless of actually having what you say you want. I mean, who would you be if you actually had the life you have specialized in wanting but not having all these years?

You and I have both read enough self-help books to know that it’s all about your mindset, right? Thoughts become things, you are what you think about, we get more of what we pay attention to, blah, blah, blah. But if all it really took was to clean up your stinking thinking, we would all be living large on our very own private beach, sipping cocktails and dining on vegan cuisine prepared by our very own private chef, who also happens to double as our private masseuse and personal trainer. And if you stick with me and that fantasy for just a slim minute, try to drop into your mind and body and just imagine what you would be thinking about while living that most enviable lifestyle. Would you even be able to recognize yourself without all your habitual thought errors, limited thinking, and self-sabotage?

One of my very favorite clients once told me that I am the Speaker of Uncomfortable Truths. I love that so much. I know it will never make me popular, but I guess I have kinda given up on that. Now, I am going for honest and real and right between the eyes direct. Because we are all gonna be dead in a minute and then it will be too late for me to tell you. And too late for you to change your mind, literally change your mind or at least the contents of your mind when it comes to the background music that just keeps on playing day after day, year after year. You have been feeling sorry for yourself for as long as you can remember and as a matter of fact, you really can’t remember a time when you weren’t feeling some level of self-pity for something. Either your hair wasn’t thick enough or your waist wasn’t small enough or your eyelashes weren’t long enough or your voice wasn’t husky and sultry enough or your grades weren’t good enough or your wardrobe wasn’t hip enough or your parents weren’t rich enough or your boyfriend wasn’t hot enough.

I could totally go on but you get my point. You feel me, right? I mean you’ve got to know that these really, really are first world problems that aren’t really even important enough for someone in a developing country to have even heard of because they have like real-world problems to contend with such as starvation and warfare and poverty and human trafficking and shit like that. And my point is not to shame you, because suffering is suffering and your pain is no less painful than someone who doesn’t know where their next meal is going to come from, or even if there will be the next meal. My entire point is this, you will absolutely not be able to get past your worries and your doubts and your struggles until the very moment that you decide to simply get over yourself. You will literally have to stand up, walk your ass over to the mirror and have a heart to heart with yourself, making legit eye contact and everything, no glancing at your phone just in case someone might have texted you.

And when you look yourself right in the eye and tell yourself to grow the fuck up, but in a nice, compassionate and totally life-affirming way, like you would imagine someone like Brene Brown would do. I mean she wouldn’t call you out in a mean girl way or shame you for being so self-absorbed, she would simply say it’s time for you to pull up your big girl panties and make the grown-ass woman courageous choice to let go of all of that bullshit that you have been carrying around and story fondling for like half your life already. You aren’t in therapy any longer. Your trauma and drama are in the past. You just need to take a great big gulp of Grow the Fuck Up Already and be done with it. Now blow yourself a kiss in the mirror and get moving. You’ve got shit to do and it’s a new day, girl.