Self-Love is More Than Feeling Good, It’s About Survival
By: Steph Jouppien
Tags: Love Yourself, Self Improvement, Self Love, 5 Love Languages, Love Language

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Self-love is more than just looking in the mirror and being satisfied.

How you feel about yourself shows. Self-love is displayed in how we dress, show ourselves to the world, and how we respond to conflict. Our feelings towards ourselves manifest into toxic relationships, addictions, and repeatedly working for bullies.

Simply put, when you don’t love yourself, you don’t feel good.

According to Psychology Today’s 7 Step Prescription for Self Love, everyone needs:

Nutrition

Exercise

Sleep

Intimacy

Social Interaction

Coronavirus has disrupted almost every one of these needs. For singles living alone, intimacy and having social life have been particularly difficult. Removing these necessities has begun to disrupt our most important relationship: the one with ourselves.

Even celebrities like Lizzo and Lena Dunham have recently gone on record expressing feelings of self-loathing during lockdown. Something tells me it’s not just these two celebrities battling with themselves.

Here’s how you can make sure you get what you need to feel good and nurture yourself. With all the changes Coronavirus has brought forth, it’s become clear self-love isn’t just an activity for self-esteem; it’s a survival skill.

Self-love isn’t just an activity for self-esteem; it’s a survival skill.

5 Things You Need to Survive and Love Yourself

1. Nutrition

You know the saying, you are what you eat. As annoying as it is, nutrition makes up 80% of most health regimens.

Decide to be better with what you eat. Don’t focus on nutrition as a way to of chasing a mythical “perfect” body. Do it to feel good.

Eating healthy gets a bad rap as being difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Make diet easy by removing temptation. Don’t buy junk food or quick fixes; stock up on healthy whole foods instead. Eat a mix of fats, whole grains, and produce, to fill satiated for longer.

You can go further by making mealtimes routine. Set times for meals and plan what you eat in advance. If you tend to overeat, pre-portion out your servings. Split up your food and put it away as you’re finished cooking to avoid going back for seconds.

2. Exercise

Breaking a sweat, boosting endorphins, and moving your body, always culminates in feeling good. But with gyms deemed non-essential, our physical fitness levels have slipped. Here are a few options you can try at home.

Home Workouts: The internet is full of free home workouts that range from beginner to advanced. If you’re new to fitness, make exercise sustainable by starting easy, taking breaks, and scheduling rest days. A planned approach gives you a greater chance of keeping up your fitness once gyms open up again. Start easy and move up to harder workouts as you go.

Jogging or Walking: Running and walking are inexpensive activities and accessible in both towns and rural areas. Getting outside helps you get fresh air, Vitamin D, and a much-needed change of scenery. Vary your route by discovering a mix of trails, sidewalks, and roadways to keep things interesting.

Mindful Movements: Love your body by moving it. Gentle stretches and movement are a wonderful way to find pleasure. Reveling in slow, mindful movements is a creative and expressive way to bring awareness to your body and shower it with love. Stretching helps break up lactic acid in sore muscles. And adding flow to your life is a proven means of boosting happiness.

3. Sleep

You already know getting 8 hours of sleep is essential for good health. Unfortunately, with all the fear and uncertainty that’s come with Coronavirus, increased insomnia is being reported around the world. Whether you are a day or night person, be aware of your most productive hours. Rest up best you can so you can be ready to focus within those timeframes. If you’re unemployed, getting out of bed and doing productive things, like cleaning, is a great way to feel a sense of purpose.

If you do work best at night, make sure to get at least some sunlight. Vitamin D helps regulate your sleep and combat depression.

Activities to Help You Relax And Fall Asleep

Quiet Your Mind: Try meditating, sitting alone, or simply reading just to take your mind off your thoughts.

Forgive Your Past: You don’t have to forget your past in order to move on. Stop carrying your pain around with you. Look at what you’ve learned from each experience and how you’re growing from it. Make peace with your past and you’ll naturally let go of what’s happened to you.

Question Your Thoughts: Your inner critic is loud. And terribly irrational, too. Step back and look at your thoughts as only thoughts, not facts. This is a powerful way to strip damaging thoughts of their power and gain a positive perspective instead.

Look at your thoughts as only thoughts, not facts.

4. Intimacy

Though gravely affected by Coronavirus, intimacy (sex, love, relationships) is a physical need. If you’re struggling with intimacy and feeling alone, learn your love languages and act on loving gestures for yourself. This is perhaps one of the most powerful ways you can love yourself.

Learn your love languages and do those things for yourself.

Being intimate with yourself may look like:

Words of Affirmation:

Look in the mirror and say I love you aloud. Remind yourself of one positive thing each day, whether that be something you’re grateful for or one good thing that’s happened. Pat yourself on the back when you accomplish goals, even small ones.

Look for one thing you admire about yourself. It doesn’t have to be skin deep; be grateful for your good heart, compassion, and your ability to love freely. Repeating daily mantras about your power is a surefire way to gain confidence in everything that is happening, and will happen in your life.

Physical Touch:

Yes, this is exactly where I tell you to touch yourself. If physical touch is your love language cuddle, kiss, and hug yourself. And yeah… make love to yourself, too.

If you’ve always been afraid or ashamed to touch yourself, go visit the friendly people at your local sex shop. Seriously. It may seem embarrassing, but the staff are used to newbies who’ve spent their lives thinking someone else was the key to their pleasure. (A huge lie, btw). Let them help you get started on figuring things out for yourself. I promise, you won’t regret it.

Gift-Giving:

Gift-giving doesn’t have to mean buying things. It can simply mean doing nice things for yourself. You can make yourself something pretty, pick yourself a bouquet of flowers, or make yourself an elaborate dinner. Just lavish yourself with loving gestures. Give yourself everything you wish others had given you — you deserve it.

Quality Time

Spend quality time with the person who’s most important to you: yourself.

Do the things you enjoy: get cozy and enjoy a cup of tea; or, get adventurous and go out for a hike.

Listen to what your heart wants. Journal about what you love, hate, and what makes you feel your best. If you’re not listening to yourself, you’re not likely to live based on your deepest desires.

If being alone isn’t your strength, be proud that you are making yourself uncomfortable and learning to be independent. It’s hard, but look at you doing it!

Acts of Service

Tidy up your house. Fix your things. Cook your favourite meals.

The nice thing about acts of service is you can still be safe (socially distanced) and do nice things for others, too. For instance, you can donate money or lend an ear to a friend who’s having a rough time. If acts of service are important to you, being the giver or recipient will feel good no matter what.

5. Social Interaction

This one had been particularly tough through the long pandemic months. However, connection helps you overcome hardship. You don’t have to overcome adversity alone; get help when you need it.

Your friends are a direct reflection of who you are. Good friends will remind you of your value and build you up. They make you feel worthy, not worthless.

Get serious about identifying who makes you feel loved. Then get even more serious about removing the toxic relationships in your life — even if those people are family. These times are hard enough to get through. You’re allowed to protect your psyche and do what’s best for your mental health.

Get serious about identifying who makes you feel loved. Then get even more serious about removing toxic relationships.

Cultivate, real, raw relationships with those that matter. Even if you can’t be with those people physically. Practice give-and-take in conversation. Carefully and thoughtfully respond as you talk on the phone, video chat, or exchange letters.

If you connect through social media, take heed. Remember, social media only shows the highlights. If social media makes you feel unworthy or like you have to compare your life to others, is it truly serving you?

If you’re recently single and still have your ex on social media, consider blocking or unfriending them. The same goes for their friends and family. Letting go is hard but creeping exes is self-sabotage at best. At worst, it’s painful and keeps you stuck.

Final Thoughts, With Love

Self-love takes time to cultivate. Don’t rush the process. Some days are easier than others to feel worthy. However, how you feel about yourself is your own responsibility. So practice self-love every day even if the gestures are small.

Coronavirus isn’t going to last forever. Take this time to make sure you’re there for yourself. Learning to love yourself will make you come out of this better, brighter, and more fearless than ever.