“Anxiety isn’t good with statistics.”
By: Jason B. Hobbs Lcsw
Tags: Anxiety, Self, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Therapy

Photo by Sean McAuliffe on Unsplash

A stressed brain does not like nuance.

One thing to learn about a stressed or anxious brain is that that particular brain (and person) is in a very “all or nothing” framework. At that moment, stress and anxiety tend to lead us to think in very “either/or” terms. There is not much gray between the “black and white” of an anxious brain.

In practical terms, this means that decision-making involving multiple options gets more challenging. It may be hard to even see that there are options available.

When asking “why” about a particular choice, it may be helpful to remember that anxiety may only see one or two: fight or flight.

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

Fear favors efficiency.

Survival is key here. And it can be helpful to remember that this same “fight or flight” system that is robbing you of the ability to make complicated decisions is trying to help you live.

The example I typically use is that if a tiger was running at you then you do not want to doddle while searching the internet to find out what a tiger would prefer to eat … besides you! You definitely don’t want to leisurely prepare a tasty meal for the tiger, perhaps with an appropriate wine pairing. By the time you do your research, decide on appetizers, and prepare the meal, YOU will have become the main course for the tiger. Fight or flight (after the pause of the freeze response) is helpful here.

Our body and brain’s reaction to fear, stress, and anxiety, is there for a reason: our survival. Decisions about survival do not have time for committee meetings.

Decisions about survival tend to go for the quickest, bluntest instrument to achieve the goal.

Consider even the low-level threat of hunger and how our body craves the fattest, sweetest, most carbohydrate-laden treat. The custard-filled doughnut may not be healthy, but it satiates our hunger quickly and efficiently.

Part of why an anxious brain is not good with probability is that it focuses on the “what if this happens” scenarios; that sort of thinking may help us survive the “what if”.

But by imagining that “what if” event, we really feel that it is possible; we feel it is real in our brains and bodies … which is in large part why our bodies react the way that they do to both acute and chronic stressors.

Photo by Robin Benzrihem on Unsplash

So what do we do?

Stop. Breathe deeply. Breathe again.

In this present moment, the “x” or “what if” is not happening.

While the stressed/anxious brain is reacting as if there is a crisis, we need to communicate to our body that we are not actually under threat. Instead of the short, shallow breathing that fleeing from danger requires, we communicate with our bodies using the same slow, deep breathing that our body would use at rest. Because our body is reacting to the stressor, we need to communicate with our body first.

The areas of our brain that are about fear are reacting; once we help that part of us find a more calm space then the more thoughtful part of our brains can take over.

After we feel calmer, then our prefrontal cortex has a chance to look at how many people actually get bitten by a shark, or struck by lightning, or what is our chance of getting hit by a meteor. Then we can actually weigh our chances … and our choices.

Remember: “Anxiety isn’t good with statistics”. And for sure a stressed brain focused on survival is worrying more about the chance of a Sharknado than about winning the lottery.