How to small talk effortlessly. A mini introvert’s guide to small talk.
By: Phuong Anh Hoang
Tags: Socialization, Introvert, Communication, Conversations

As you can see, in the two longer answers, you learned more cool facts about them that you would’ve never picked up in “normal” conversations.

There are also many hints in their answers that you can take advantage of to keep asking about or digging deeper such as ‘comedy’, ‘didn’t understand half the jokes’, ‘superhero movie’, etc.

Pay attention to the details in their answers (often lies in nouns they used) and state a fact or ask a question about it.

As a bonus, you guys became closer and you could stop weighing in on how the weather is.

Some more open-ended questions:

Travel topic

Do you prefer action-packed vacations or relaxing on the beach?

If you could fly anywhere for free, where would you go?

What’s the coolest trip you’ve ever been on?

Work topic

Why do you choose your current job?

What surprised you the most / what you loved most about your current job?

Which skill do you use the most in your work? Is that what you expected?

Who is your favorite person to follow on {{a specific field that they’re into}}?

Entertainment topic

What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?

What’s a book/ movie/ song that everyone loved while you hated it?

Is there any weird food that you want to try but never had a chance?

Life story

So many people love to talk about this topic. Trust me.

What’s the craziest thing you have done in your life?

Do you have any hidden talents or surprising hobbies?

What was your favorite extracurricular in school days?

Who’s the most important role model or mentor you’ve had in your life?

What changed you?

What scares you most?

When was the last time you did something for the 1st time?

Need simpler ways to break the ice? Here’re your conversation starters:

Ask more casual and easy-to-answer questions:

How’s your day?

Are you a long way from home?

How long have you been in this job?

What’s your hometown? What do you like most about your hometown? What’s the signature?

Do you have any siblings? Which is better, being an only child or having siblings?

2. Pay attention to their appearance or their mood. Then compliment or ask appropriate questions.

I prefer this way and use it frequently because it shows me genuinely care about people which makes them more willing to open up.

You look tired. Can’t sleep last night?

You have a new beautiful T-shirt today. Where did you buy it?

You look a bit sad today. Is there anything wrong?

Seems like you have a good day. Mind sharing?

Don’t answer questions directly

Chances are most people often asked dead-ended questions, so your goal is to quickly steer the conversation away from these questions — in the direction of deeper topics on purpose.

Here’s how:

NOT answer the question you’re asked.

BUT, answer a more interesting question that’s related to what you’re being asked instead.

Don’t worry if you don’t directly answer their question. They’ll appreciate you not answering their literal question if it makes the conversation more engaging.

Actually, you’re doing everyone — including you, the questioner and others who’re in the conversation — a big favor…for not replying a boring question with a boring answer.

For example:

If your friend asks about sport, she’s probably into it and wants to know if you guys have things in common.

If you’re also into sports, so there is nothing much to worry about.

But if you’re not, expand your answer with more content is a good way to keep the conversation rolling.

Another way to tackle the situation:

If there’s any time you’ve asked about a subject you’re not familiar with, just be honest with that person and I’m 90% sure that they’ll tell you a thing or two about it. And who knows — you’ll find it interesting to talk about.

There is one truth about the person you’re talking to

No matter who they are, man or woman, old or young, or what their background is, they all love being asked for their opinions.

So here’s one small tip…

You just need to ask: “Have I got your opinion on […]?”

And fill in the question with a specific topic that you want to talk about.

That’s the fastest way to jump right into a deep conversation without having to face with awkward silence.

You don’t have to spend 10 minutes warming up the conversation with dull topics like weather or traffic or how have you been anymore. You’re purposely guiding the conversation to a topic that you find it genuinely interesting.

Forget the phone

I know so many people — including me — don’t like the idea of engaging to a person who’s holding a phone on their hands or placing it on the table while talking.

Even if they’re not using it, they’re still giving the other the thought that there’s something more important on their phone than this conversation.

If you’re not expecting an important call or message, just leave it in your pocket or handbag instead. But if you’re, just let the other knows. At least they’ll understand that you are not mindlessly thumbing through Instagram while talking to them.