My Story of Burnout to Resiliency
By: Kp Singh
Tags: Plant Based, Mindvalley, Personal Development, Resilience, Burnout

I Kanwal 43, live in Gurgaon, India, with three generation of ladies: my daughter, wife and mom. I do my best in living an environment sustainable life. I earn my income by working in an IT company.

My Deepest gratitude to my sense of purpose (my family and eco-care), Zeal, Vishen and the Mindvalley authors, you all have been blessing to me. In last one and a half years, You helped me align my inner dialogue and outer dialogue with my curiosities.

my story of enriching the self signature

Background

I was born and brought up in Patiala, Punjab. I built my connection with water in 1990. I was in 8th standard aged 12, when I read a chapter on Paani (Water) in my Punjabi language book. The seed of care for environment germinated in those impressionable years of my life. The affection with nature and environment kept on growing. This bond has grown like relation with a sibling. I care for environment out of love, not out of moral duty. Initially it started with closing the overflowing water taps, then urge became earnest for closing all overflowing taps of water, waste generation, chemical going into soil and pollutants entering into the air. I have been volunteering for bringing sustainability in the communities I belong to. Navigating through this life, I had developed some physical issues of Asthma, backache and underweight.

The Disruption

Dec 26 2019: The previous day, I had come back from hospital. I was diagnosed with lungs TB. It was third burnout in last 5 years as if it had become a pattern after every couple of years. The mental fatigue would show up as some physical issue. In 2015, it was Pranic healing, meditation and volunteering that helped me recover. In 2018 I took help of mental health professionals also, to become better.

My Emotional Response

At this time the intensity of failure feeling was too high. My whole concept of life was shaken. I had kept my financial occupation an average and had not done any savings. I was not seeing anything beyond on how would I support my family. Though I had been living an eco-caring life without air conditions and had worked hard in bringing eco-alignment in operations of few premises, still I was feeling unaccomplished. I had also been doing my meditation, breathing and physical exercises, reading books, journaling, writing gratitude and eating naturally grown plant based food. The questions “Where do I go wrong? Who can help me? I wish my father were alive” again surfaced and bothered me more than the actual physical ailment.

A few of my gratitude Journals before Dec 2019

What moved me

My gloomy look pained my wife Riti, she told me “Would not our kid be looking for your support when she will be navigating through her life.. she must not miss you the way, you miss your papa… c’mon come out of it”. Her words deeply touched me. With the first impulse, I opened Youtube and started searching for some energy healing technique to come out of the situation at hand. Through an ad, I reached to Vishen’s masterclass with Anondea Judith. That followed masterclass after masterclass from Mindvalley. My hope of getting better and stronger started turning into certainty.

Set Off

On 6th Jan 2020, I boarded the Mindvalley Lifebook Online (by Jon & Missy Butcher) journey. Listening to Jon on Health and Fitness in the first week, I realized my vision and purpose as “ I have strong, muscular, weight appropriate, & athletic body. I want the freedom to do all the things I love to do: climb, hike, cycle, run, ski, dance, adventure sports, speak to large audiences and engage them with high energy. My body is self healing and always full of abundant energy.” As part of my strategy, I reached out to my friend, Zeal Sharma who is a Nutrition Educator. She shared evidence that eating a varied plant based diet with whole grains, and beans will easily meet my daily protein needs. She also shared that a relatively common disease associated with animal protein-based diets is in-fact osteoporosis. She helped me with weekly plan of 6 meals a day. She suggested me to happily include wheat and other gluten items in my diet plan , which I had left before the disease struck me. She said “Eat the grains and legumes that you have eaten most of your life”.

Initial Shaking

In parallel, I had decided to complete my allopathic medicine course for 6 months. I was visiting Dr Neetu, the lungs doctor for my regular checkup. She was also my neighbor at that time. She did not regularly see the patients at her home. However for me, she managed time. On top of it she used not to charge me. She was doing her best to help me cure. Knowing me she told me “Please do complete the 6 months medicine course religiously and work on increasing your weight.” She would tell me “You are into the trouble because of less intake of food, those who eat well have a better immunity and do not attract infections”. She advised me to take dairy food and protein supplements, and even if possible eggs also. The doctor suggested the marker of recovery from the disease is gained weight. I used to eat all fruits, veggies, protein rich millets, and grains, however the weight was not just moving beyond 57kg. Out of concern and care, Dr Neetu would pull me up “I will not see you again if you do not start eating protein 110g per day or find some other doctor.” Every time, I went to her I would spew out most of the next day. For last 4 years I had endorsed environmentally aligned food. I was carrying a belief for few years “what is good for ecology is good for health, and vice versa, what is not good for health is not good for ecology”. I was not much upset because weight was not going up rather because my belief was shaking. It seemed to me, this was my last chance to continue on plant based diet. I could not find a single person who had gained weight without supplements and being on plant based diet. I was feeling like a left hander in right handed world, where every study is done to lose weight.

Staying Strong and my Anchor

The only anchor to my belief in this diet struggle was Zeal. She cared for my belief and rescued me every time, I used to get stress out. Zeal shared “The essential amino acids can come from different plant foods consumed in a day. But the old idea that certain combinations of plant foods — the complementary pairings must be consumed together isn’t true.” With the evidence she provided, I was confident of our plan; the meal plans, staying hydrated, sun exposure of 20 minutes, moderate exercises and adequate rest. She said, “Feeling good and energized is a better biomarker than only focusing on weight gain.” I only took Vitamin B12 as a supplement not even included soya in my regular diet.

Thanks to Dr Neetu and Zeal, by Feb end, I was clear of active TB. My medicine got reduced, yet it was to be continued for next 4 months and I did. Though cough was much less, still I had to take nebulizer. Less medicine going into body and no pressure of weight gain was a great respite. No puking after that. In my case, this combo worked: Allopathy addressed the effects of the ailment. The natural wholesome diet addressed the cause and built the foundation of self healing in me.

Zeal recommended that I work with a sports doctor or enroll in an online program to help gain muscle mass in the right way.

I had concluded 6 weeks of Lifebook by this time. I listened to Jon’s content on each category multiple times. Jon reframed my premises/beliefs in each category of life.

Jon improved my journaling activity with his statement. “For information in, there should be a information outlet by way of writing or sharing.” I had been writing my journal for few years, however the reason Jon gave me brought the utmost regularity in journaling.

All categories of lifebook charted out, I decided to execute the strategy with help of Mindvalley quests in all access pass. Initially $600 seemed unaffordable. Then a recollection empowered my decision. “I had spent more than this amount couple of years back for only a few sessions with psychologist(s) and physiotherapist(s). The recovery with that method did not sustain for too long.” So I took the wonderful decision of my life and bought the access pass on 27th Feb.

The Code of Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani : By this time, I had started practicing Vishen’s six phase meditation. I got a structure in my mediation practice. The most beautiful gem Vishen gave me through his book is “Its the Universe that comes to us with an idea at a particular time, if we don’t take action it would go to somebody else”. Before I listened to Vishen, I was unknowingly stacking up resentments of my idea un-acknowledgements . One such was: I had been spreading the message of getting reusable crockeries instead of air polluting disposable crockeries, in food serving events since 2016. Sent out the word to borrow the crockery from Gurdwaras (Sikh place of worship) for the events. A fellow volunteer launched a free crockery in middle months of 2018. Only few days back then, she had enquired about getting crockery from a Gurdwara for an event. She did not collaborate with me or even mention my name as a passing remark in acknowledgement. I thought such a thing did not bother me. When I listened to Vishen, I got aware that I had been stacking up such resentments in my mind. It was a Satori moment for me. I realized “Its not about through whom the idea is implemented, its all about the change the Universe wants. The intent and idea is just the starting point, Its lot more about how it is executed and followed through”. The insight brought a chill of happiness crossing through my whole body. What I wanted is being done. There is a lot to do in climate action. A way too many people must become channels of new solutions in their own unique ways. My friend has done the execution amazingly well. So far, she has inspired many volunteers to join her in crockery bank movement and must have saved half a million of plastic disposables going to landfill. I am so grateful to her for becoming such a beautiful channel. Vishen completely diluted my wants for acknowledgements and helped me clear my resentment stack. The message literally relaxed me and freed me from small & big competitions.

Quests

March 4, 2020, I started four quests in parallel.

Rapid Transformation Therapy by Marisa Peers: I listened to RTT sessions of Marisa everyday for six months. Her phrases echoed in mind through the day “I am loveable, I am enough”. She made me fall in love with myself and changed my inner dialogue. Marisa’s voice has become so familiar to me, she is like a second mother to me. Previously there was some element of desperation in me seeking support from somebody, surely it would have been showing up in my eyes and tone of my voice in my interactions. Marisa helped replacing my desperation with self confidence.

Conscious Parenting by Dr Shefali Tsabary : I had read Dr Shefali’s book “Conscious parenting” couple of times in last five years. It was just a read. Nevertheless I understood the connection with my inner child and external child by doing the quest. The quest brought the integration and released my unnecessary control on my daughter Armin(11 yrs). Now I bully her rarely. Between two of us we have more fun and dance sessions. We sometimes talk for couple of hours

My Daughter presented me on Jun 20th, 2021

The Longevity Blueprint by Ben Greenfield: Ben showed me the lighthouse of fitness. He structured my exercise over a week. He helped me reduce my exercise time from more than an hour daily to around thirty minutes. Ben helped me conserve my energy and time for writing and daily journaling. I am very regular in my longevity routine.

Dona’s Energy medicine, I have my daily energy routine of 10 minutes and am continuing till this date.

Speed up

After concluding the quests, towards the last week of April, I started doing two-three quests in parallel

The M word by Emily Flecher: I included Emily’s mediation in my daily routine along with 6 Phase mediation. There was a change in my fitness levels and some weight gain, however not significantly, until the time, Emily told me “The state of mind is more important than the nutrition in the food while eating”. This was another satori moment. From that moment onwards I engage most of my senses while eating, exercising, and doing other activities. Emily actually gifted me the present moment. I ensured that I am listening to mindvalley quest or mentoring session during physical exercise. My food and exercises are much more effective now.

Life Visioning by Michael Beckwith : Michael taught me the four stages of consciousness: ‘To Me’, ‘By Me’, ‘Through Me’ , ‘As Me’. In moment of despair, I question myself ‘What stage I am operating from?’ Invariably despair comes in ‘To Me’ stage, I just ask myself to be in higher stage and surrender, the despair subsides. Another beautiful question from Michael is “What quality wants to emerge out of me, to become the character that is needed? “ Thus I have better questions, and the Universe has best answers now.

Speak and Inspire by Lisa Nichols inspired me to be authentic and share my complete self in stories I tell, as I am doing now. There was a need to defend my climate cause, a need to prove that I am a selfless environment volunteer. Lisa helped me forsake my need to prove myself. I know I do my best.

Be Extraordinary by Vishen : Vishen shared an exercise to boost happiness in the now. “Reverse Gap: Tie your happiness to how far have you come. Take a moment in the past as a reference point, and list down three different types of happiness that elevated your emotional state. 1. Experiences : May be birth of your baby or may be trip to Disneyland, may be moving into a new home. 2. Growth: How have you grown? What new practices have you taken on? What types of new wisdom have come into your life? 3. Meaning: Think about your contribution to the world, the work you do, and how it has impacted other people’s lives.”

4th April 2010, Germany: My daughter Armin born 30 minutes back

I have been consistently improving on living a sustainable lifestyle in an urban settings, itself is an accomplishment.

2013 Human Factors, a UX organization published a photobook on their website (Link)

In past few years, I have delivered 60+ sessions & workshops on climate action and environment sustainability to over 1500 participants in places of faith, residential societies, schools, markets, municipalities. Engaged with diverse stakeholders and implemented eco-solutions in various premises. During this period I have overcome so many social, budgetary and cultural challenges. I have been instrumental in bringing eco-alignment in events and regular operations of a Gurdwara , residential society and a famer’s market. (Events as big as with 15k footfall Link). I felt accomplished. Its been a year since I did the exercise for the first time, I carry a sense of fulfillment. The story you are reading right now is in actual my reverse gap exercise :)

The Habit of Ferocity by Steven Kotler helped me unfold my curiosities and now I see my purpose so clearly. Every morning I prepare my clear goals of the day for both office and personal. I finish most of these goals. Presently I am working to align my clear goals to the hard goals. Earlier I never became fan of Steven reading his books until I did the quest.

A few self-help books I had just read earlier

Superbrain by Jim Kwik: I brush my teeth with left hand. I have cacao and turmeric as my daily intakes.

Awaken the Species by Neale Donald: Neal gave me quite a few gems “The five levels of truth telling.” , “Do the best you can”, “What this activity or thought has to do with agenda of my soul?”, “Replace forgiveness with understanding”

I have started avoiding even smaller lies like ‘I have a call’. It has become rather lot easier speaking my truth with myself and others. I have very few complaints in my head, as a result judging and validating has reduced considerably. No more stacking of resentments and so no need to forgive anymore. No more dwelling on negative thoughts. I feel liberated, and there is happiness in me. I am presently working on aligning my financial occupation to the agenda of my soul. I don’s have the forgiveness phase any more in my mediation practice.

The Quest for Personal Mastery by Srikumar Rao: I felt Srikumar talked to me one on one and gave me a very specific advice “Do each task or activity with mindfulness and only one task at a time”, “Do affirmations on actions rather than outcomes.”, “Invest your energy in process and not in outcomes”. “There are many calamities in the world to be resolved. Your task is not be discouraged on what could be done but what is being done. Your task is to help raise the consciousness further. And the best and only way to do is to work on yourself”. “As parents know what is the best food for their child , though sometimes the food is not tasty. The benevolent Universe also knows what is best for us at a particular time, we may not find what we get, tasty at that time.” Dr Rao gave me answers to all the burnout questions. He has shown me a happier and steady way to navigate through agenda of my life.

My day routine

I wake up between 4 to 4.30 am in the morning. Drink two glasses of water.

Read the messages from the gratitude circle (whatsapp group started by a MV student Mansi Jain in June 2020. We are 12 in the group. We are expanding ourselves in gratitude with each day)

Start the MV quest or channel on my mobile. In parallel I do my longevity exercise, followed by my favorite yoga poses.

Exercise routine

Drink a glass of water, and start breath work (Pranayama) in my balcony ,while gazing the rising orange Sun. Then I meditate. My meditation is porridge of Six phase, M word and grounding :)

Savor the mangoes or apples or any other seasonal fruit engaging all my senses

I journal my diary, then write in my laptop. After every 45 minutes or so, I eat fruit. I take 3–4 servings in the morning. One fruit at a time.

After couple of hours , I mop and my wife brooms the floors while we both chat. Dr Rao’s statement “Passion is in you, not in the job” inspired me to do regular cleaning at home. Alexa plays hymns in the background. I just use a liter of water to mop the floors.

Its around 8.30 by this time. I write my personal and professional tasks for the day (Steven inspired me to write my Todo list). I open my mail box and send the office meeting invites.

Then I go to my society lawn. I do my Donna Energy routine, standing barefoot on the grass, followed by Being affirmations on chakras. Then walk on grass while completely there with all my senses. Barefoot on grass is all weather practice may it be scorching Sun or heavy rain or chilling wind, I am there.

I come back home, have a glass of water and head to take bath. While in bath, I have either quest playing in background or I am laughing a loud. When there is hot water in geyser, I have my hot and cold bath (As Ben recommended)

Through the day I take plant based cooked, uncooked servings and water, adhering to food combinations. Keep on ticking my tasks one at a time with mindfulness. Personal task also feature playing hop scotch or table fussball or any other fun session with my kid. During the day, any negative comment or thought is just deflected with the question “What this has to do with agenda of my Soul?”

In the evening sometimes go for walk with my wifey or do some social call, while my kid cycles.

After dinner, I do oil pulling and write my gratitude messages in the Gratitude whatsapp group. After a family chit chat or storing sharing or playing board game, I then sleep.

Outcome

With all this, the Physical fitness started showing up. I cycle, run, play badminton, squash and have amazing energy levels.

In this period of association with MV. I have overpowered the struggles of years: underweight to optimal weight, excellent fitness levels, gone asthma, no backache, better gums & teeth health. I enjoy my plant based diet. Here is my last fitness test in January that speaks on my reversal of age.

Emotional Response

By Feb 2021, I had consumed most of the content out of quests and channels, still I renewed my yearly subscription. It has become a habit listening MV daily and setting the tone for my day. Every time I repeat any of the quest, I draw a new meaning that is most relevant at that time. There is not much change in my external dialogue but the inner dialogue. I have framed a new belief system with help of MV “The Universe comes to us with ideas”, “Gratitude and complains can not co-exist”, “Awareness is the healing energy” “Being in the present moment is the blessing”, “The kind of questions I ask, the Universe answers accordingly” “Happiness in now with reverse gap”, “Invest in the process, not in the outcomes”

While previously I just recovered from burnouts (story link here). This time, it has been a journey of building resiliency. I am deeply grateful to my sense of purpose (my family and eco-care), Zeal and Mindvalley for helping me sail through all my muddles and building resilience in me. I don’t have the pic of my mind or spiritual map, It would certainly show up as myself liberated and flying…

I don’t miss my father that much. I feel a virtual hand holding me, to navigate through anything, anytime. I am happy and at ease.

As I learned self-care, I would love to learn tools for spreading awareness on community care and eco care from Mindvalley.

PS: Thanks for reading this far. In case eco care resonates with you, and would like to collaborate, please do drop a message :)