Anger — Two remedies for rage. Two ways neuroscientists suggest to…
By: Zack T
Tags: Frustration, Anger, Anger Management, Psychology, Emotional Intelligence

Anger — Two remedies for rage

It might be one of the most deadly emotions. Blood rushes to our hands when we feel it as we prepare for action. If we let it, anger can spiral us into rage. We lose the ability to think straight. Some of us repress anger more than we express it, letting anger build up is harmful either way.

But not all anger is bad.

In fact, it can be extremely useful. Anger helps people stand up against all forms of injustice. Uncontrolled anger is where things get messy. But how does it get to that stage?

Threats and triggers

If the causes of anger are countless, they all have one thing in common: we perceive a threat, triggering anger.

These can be in the form of: threats to our self-esteem or dignity, being insulted or treated unfairly.

Even when no one has done anything to provoke us, if something gets in the way of an important goal we have, this causes anger.

If anger can start with such a small trigger, what makes it escalate so fast?

Anger builds on anger

Imagine a friend, who is trying to mildly annoy you, they find you intensely focused on a task, maybe it’s a deadline. Let’s say they decide to poke you with a pen.

A few seconds later. Another poke.

…And again.

By the third poke (or maybe more), you’re starting to lose it a little.

Their plot is to build up your frustration; they time each poke before you have fully gotten over the last one.

Heated arguments works in the same way, the other person’s words (or reaction) triggers a short-term chemical surge of energy in your body (catecholamines).

This quick fire energy surge raises your blood pressure, makes your heartbeat faster, and increases muscle strength. The energy surge can dissipate, but can last a few minutes.

The danger lies when the energy surge intensifies, with each wave of anger riding the tail of the last. Our minds become overpowered by thoughts of revenge and retaliation.

At this point, it’s not long before we lose the ability to think straight. If we can notice what’s going on, we might stand a chance before all hell breaks loose…

Two Remedies for Rage

1. Timing Matters

One way to defuse the anger is to challenge the thoughts that trigger the surges of anger. If the first thoughts trigger the early surges of anger, the next thoughts fan the flames.

A stranger yells at you when he bumps into you on the street after walking aimlessly

‘What an idiot, instead of apologising…’ — *dismiss your ‘good reason’*…

…”Poor guy, he’s must be having a really bad day — anyway, back to what I was doing”

Easier said than done? I think so, but with practice it becomes easier.

The longer we dwell on what made us angry, the more “good reasons” we can invent to justify our rage. Sure, we can’t help but believe we have ‘good reasons’ to be angry, but the trick is to try dismissing them instead of dwelling on them.

2. Cooling off

Challenging thoughts only works well at moderate levels of anger.

Past a certain point, we can’t be reasoned with. We need to cool off. This is usually the point where people give up trying to ‘talk you out of it’.

At this point, simply going for a walk can be very powerful. It can help us ‘cool off’ the adrenaline rush. Research has shown the following to be effective way. Other ways include:

Spending time alone, away from the source of anger (bonus effectiveness in nature)

Deep breathing.

Any form of exercise.

However, none of these will work if we spend this time dwelling on the cause of anger. It’s the distractive power of these activities pull us away from the triggering thoughts.

3. Catharsis — What about yelling it out?

Venting. Road rage. Catharsis. Call it whatever you like.

We’ve all had moments where we’ve done it to some level. It’s everywhere, in movies, at the workplace, try searching ‘Gordon Ramsay Hell’s Kitchen’ on YouTube for a prime example. The first 30 seconds gives you the idea.

It’s one of the most popular ways people deal with anger.

What makes it so popular? It feels good. For a moment at least, then it leaves us in a stressed, irritable state. Venting does anything but ‘letting out’ anger.

Even if we fall prey to rage when we know we shouldn’t(which is inevitable), aiming for improvement always beats aiming for perfection.

If you would like to find out more about this topic, I highly recommend Daniel Goleman’s book on ‘Emotional Intelligence’, which inspired this piece.