I’m Tempted To Not Get My Child Anything For Christmas This Year
By: Aphinya Dechalert
Tags: Parenthood, Motherhood, Life Lessons, Life, Parenting

I’m Tempted To Not Get My Child Anything For Christmas This Year

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Birthdays. Christmas. New Years. I don’t know when it began but the older I get, the less excited I feel towards these events. Perhaps it’s just part of adulting and growing up, but this year I’m struggling more than others.

After having my child at the end of 2017, I went on a financial diet. That meant every dollar and penny became carefully counted and spent accordingly. As I recalibrate my career, my work environment, and general life, spending just hasn’t been part of the main equation. Only the essential things in life that require money gets assigned a budget.

As I stood in line with my child to have a moment with Santa, a twelve-year-old was racking his brain for what to ask the jolly man in red. It became a toss-up between a new iPhone or a mini-fridge — not because he needed it or actually truly wanted either of them but because he couldn’t think of anything else pricier.

I remember looking towards my two-year-old, who had found the coloring pencils and was carefully putting all the chairs back into place. I tuned out the twelve-year-old and remembered thinking with a slow sigh — thank f**k.

Contentment in the little things

There are two types of kids in the world — the ones that are happy with the little things and those who are never satisfied. Currently, my toddler is the first of the two. It might change but for now, I am grateful.

I want to keep her in this state for as long as possible. Once the materialism starts and the feeling of missing out slips in, it’s a slippery slope down the rat race and keeping up with Joneses.

Currently, her mind gets blown when we go under bridges and drive past big hedges. Her sources of excitement are simple — cats, flowers, dinosaurs, books, the free fruit basket at the grocery store and splashing water.

I don’t know when all this will change but at some point, materialism kicks in and little kids turn into little humans that want things.

All the junk and all the trash…

My mother likes to horde. My dad is not much better. In short, we had a lot of stuff.

When I moved out, I thought I was free but then fell into the same habits. Over time, an empty house became filled with things. I’m not sure where they all came from or how they entered the house — only that they’re here now and have decided to stay.

As I tiptoe around the clutter that’s built up like settled dust, I’m tempted to just throw everything away and begin again, except this time smarter, with more appreciation and space.

This Saturday, rather than going Christmas shopping, I’ve got plans to purge the house and become a minimalist.

All this, if I succeed, will be sufficiently ruined once the Christmas rounds begin and the child gets given a million and one presents from family members.

They say a cluttered house equals a cluttered brain.

A cluttered brain leads to a stressful life.

A stressful life leads to the world falling apart around you.

Well, no one really says that but that’s what I’ve figured out so far over the past few years of having my own space. I’m struggling to properly adult as my life obligations and quest to re-create my career takes over the life admin tasks.

No presents for next year?

I’m tempted to tell everyone not to give the toddler any presents next year — rather, to gift experiences instead. Or contribute to her investment account. Maybe it’ll help her buy a house or pay for her student loan if she chooses to get one.

Over the past two Christmases, I didn’t organize gifts in return for the adults that gave my toddler presents. What, exactly, would an under two-year-old give as presents? I didn’t want to give things just for the sake of giving.

I’m not a fan of empty gifts and perhaps that’s why I struggle with events that require giving things.

This year, I’ve organized a present making activity for the child, now that she’s old enough and aware of what’s happening. She’s making the presents this year. If it’s not perfect, it’s not going to stress me out. I didn’t want Christmas to be a shopping spree kind of event. I want the preparation for it to be something personal, infused with a touch of thought and care.

The activity for the toddler has its purpose as well. Rather than traversing through the mall trying to find something on a budget, I ‘help’ her produce a gift instead. It’ll probably take an entire day, keep things simple for this mommy and I don’t have to worry about judgment since, well, the toddler made it.

It’ll probably turn out more memorable this way.

The gift of sanity

It’s hard to figure out what exactly to give and a part of me wants to give her a sane mommy — one that isn’t stressed by all the stuff that surrounds her. I want to give her a mommy that is attentive and calm, one that is wholly present rather than distracted by her million other obligations and fallen behind life admin.

It sounds selfish but perhaps that’s what my toddler actually needs.

Not more physical things but a parent.

Maybe I’ll throw in new watercolors and some brushes so we can do some painting together. Or a set of markers.

I don’t know. We’ll see. I still have a few days left to decide. But this Saturday — it’s happening — the house is getting a purge to make mental space for a sane mommy to emerge and make the toddler’s year to come her best year yet.