You were always enough
Tags: Life, Authenticity, Self Love, Mindfulness

The world can be a brutal place and as a result we’ve become so afraid of being happy as we are. Advertising tells us we are not enough. We should be slimmer, have the best new gadgets, wear the best clothes, spend time with our families, keep active, be improving our relationships, have a great job and if that’s not enough pressure to be getting on with, try finding some time to squeeze some self-love in there. But how can we possibly begin to like or love ourselves if everywhere we look we are being told we are not enough.

We see that person who always seems to be smiling, talking positively and seems to have their life together. We begin to think that “they’ve obviously never experienced much difficulty” or perhaps they are pretending to be happy. Yes maybe they are putting on a front. But why should this matter to us? This matters because, although we might not want to admit this to ourselves, it’s acting as a mirror of the unhappiness we have in our own lives. We judge others in areas that we most harshly judge ourselves.

So how can we stop judging others and start to improve our own happiness?

When we return to ourselves. When we become concerned for our actions, behaviour and feelings more than what we think we should be doing or comparing to others. Returning to ourselves is not about learning to be better (or any other desired trait). It’s quite the opposite, it’s an unlearning process. We start to notice that happiness can’t be bought, our waist size doesn’t equate our worth and the flashy car we can’t afford won’t fix the empty feelings we have within. We begin to recognise all the areas that society and the media have negatively impacted us and how it has taken us so far away from who we truly are.

Suddenly that beach holiday advert seems so appealing. Have you ever stopped to wonder why?Because we live lives that we want to escape from. As a society we are addicted, we are consuming, we are being stimulated everywhere, and connected even more on a technological level, while in the process disconnecting more than we ever have done from ourselves and others. But what do I know?

I experienced a devastating trauma at just 19 and it shattered me for quite some time, but in amongst the rebuilding of trust, courage and love for life again, I found an inner strength and love for my individuality. I began to recognise all the ways I was losing myself to fit in with others, seeking approval and follow society’s materialistic demands. In that individuality there is an endless amount of power. We are not bound so much by the societal pressures, or material gains but instead find joy in listening to what we truly want from life and have the courage to say yes, because we know we are and have always been enough.

At first this is daunting and so is taking action. People start to wonder things like why you are disconnected, why you have started to say no to things that you used to say yes to, you seem different, they judge the changes that they wouldn’t implement in their own lives often at the limit of their understanding or fears they might have.

But what I can assure you of, is that you are not alone on this journey. The more you step into your power and begin doing what you truly love, the more you meet other badasses along the way slaying self-love and authenticity, and they will be cheering you on.

As for those you leave behind, well aren’t they better left there?

Clare McCauley