Dad
By: Aurora Chérie
Tags: Life Lessons, Life, Parenting, Dads

photo by Aaron O’Neill

Growing up was fun except when it wasn’t. I used to be “daddy’s little girl” before siblings happened. I lost my title before I could milk it for all it was worth.

My earliest memories of my dad are my fondest. Two year old me, waking up at night to the sound of his voice praying in the living room, crawling out of bed and making my way to him surrounded by darkness just so he could carry me and walk around while I continued my sleep.

The sound of his voice singing me to sleep. I’ll forever have Edelweiss engrained in my memory. I knew the lyrics before I knew what lyrics were. One time I literally kicked my mum out of a conversation with him so he could sing me to sleep. Perks of being “daddy’s little girl”. Of course my mother wanted to hang me from the ceiling but oh well.

I could go on, the list is endless however I won’t instead I’ll just share a few of my best memories in no particular order of favoriteness (Yes that’s a word, not convinced? Argue with autocorrect.)

Bullied at 4

I was as cute as a button (still am) and small to boot (I’ve grown). My mum taught me to be nice and to turn the other cheek, the only challenge was 4 year old me took that to mean I should let people walk all over me because I was nice. At school, there was this one kid who was always mean to me, it got so bad that I started dreading going to school. I was tired of getting picked on and knocked down physically and otherwise.

One Sunday, my dad was about to leave on a journey and as part of his goodbye he wished me a “great week at school”. I had just about had it and I blatantly told him I didn’t want to go to school anymore. He stopped what he was doing, took me in his arms and asked what was wrong. I happily spilled the beans thinking it would save me from school the next day. It didn’t, but it did change my view entirely. He said, the next time someone bullied me I should give them two tight slaps. The first one to retaliate and the second one to clear their doubts and then he added

“Never throw the first punch. We don’t go around looking for trouble but if someone troubles us, we let them have it double fold”.

I was super excited, my dad just gave me backing to beat someone up, his only condition “don’t go looking for trouble” and that was easy I was always getting picked on for minding my business. Monday couldn’t come soon enough, I could literally see myself up on a desk slapping my bully (this actually happened a few days later, the desk was so I could reach his face and yes it was satisfying). I was 4 years old when he said those words to me and now, a few decades later they still ring clear in my ears.

My First Failure

I was 9 years old and I had just gotten my first poor grade. I had a 30/60 and other people in class had scores in the high 50’s, this one kid got the full 60 marks. I was devastated. I walked home from school with tears rolling own my cheeks freely. I was so sure my dad would be disappointed and possibly angry with me when he called later that evening. As soon as I got home I walked into my mother’s room and told her all that happened (at least one person might sympathize with me) and begged her not to tell my dad, at least not yet.

Barely fifteen minutes later my mother handed me the phone, my dad was on the other end of the line. I put the phone to my ear and whispered a “hello” as another wave of silent tears began. I was mentally prepared for everything except what happened next. My dad asked why I was crying, I softly explained how I got a 30/60 and his next words shocked the tears from my eyes. He said,

“That’s okay, now you understand how other people feel when they get bad grades because you’ve been in their shoes.”

And that was it. We spoke about some random topics and said our goodbyes. I learnt a valuable life lesson that day and it has stayed with me since then. Never look down on anyone, we all have our bad days.

My First Job

I had just finished school and gotten my first job and I was nervous and excited. My dad called me on the phone to chat and while we were talking, he gave me a few tips on surviving the world of work.

“Always leave a legacy. Identify a challenge, provide a solution before you walk away.” “Always under-promise and over-deliver. Never put pressure on yourself and don’t let anyone put pressure on you.” “Always remember, on the table of life only two things matter, what you think and what you decide.”

It’s been a few years since he said these words to me but they and a billion others he has told me over the years have shaped me into the person I am. I’m still a work in progress because by the time you read this, I would have gotten more nuggets to add to my memory chest.

Dads are underrated (I love you too mum). I read that most females want to marry a man like their father, I might be part of the few exceptions because I want to become just like my father and every time my mother in exasperation says “you think and act just like your dad!” I smile because I know I’m one step closer.

Signed: Your Chiefmate.