Yesterday is gone. Start again today.
By: Marnío A. Toussaint
Tags: Self-awareness, Minimalism, Growth, Self Improvement, Development

Yesterday is gone. Start again today.

My name is Marnio, and this blog is being born out of my obsession with the idea of making little bits of progress daily and documenting the growing process for the people who don’t have it all figured out yet. The words “Embrace the journey” have become a mantra for me because my life has indeed been a journey. I want to share it with you.

About me: I struggled with deep depression and anxiety for over 12 years. I’d sleep for days at a time, then I’d stay up for days at a time. I didn’t tend to myself for weeks or longer, I lacked motivation to do anything, I feared almost everything, I battled addictions, I struggled with friendship, connection, intimacy, and at my worst I regularly fantasized taking my own life. My internal world was in shambles, I get a little anxious even thinking back on it. I never thought I’d grow up wanting to die. At the time I wasn’t capable of articulating it, but I really did hate myself. The person I saw in the mirror was worthless, so I exerted a considerable amount of effort to hide the real me. This is what I now call “the mask”. The mask took on various forms but it was always self destructive. In high school, every year but one was spent eating lunch alone in a corridor behind the school. Nn When someone noticed something about me they thought was less than favorable, I’d make any adjustment to avoid being rejected or abandoned. I never really let anyone in to experience the real me, and if someone managed to worm their way up close, I’d spend a considerable amount of effort maintaining the illusion of perfection. I’m not perfect, and it was mentally draining. It became glaringly obvious to me that something wasn’t right when taking my own life started to become a daily rumination for me… I began to invest my time and money in every single inner healing and counseling opportunity that presented itself to me, and here I am two years later with new values, new struggles, new hopes, and a new resolve to grow daily.

If my experiences these past two years have produced any kind of wisdom, I’d summarize it with this phrase:

“Yesterday is gone. Start again today.”

I mean aggressively put the past behind you. If you can’t re-live it, simply ask yourself “What’s the lesson?” Mourn if you must, but don’t do it forever. Once you’re done, don’t give it any further thought. The beauty of the present is that it’s always a fresh opportunity if you’ll allow it to be. The next set of “nows” boldly and unapologetically strung together can influence your next chapter in ways that are unimaginable. While it is today, give the best of what you have to give.

I’ve shared big parts of my growing process on my Instagram, I started this blog as a place to share all that I’m learning in live action moving forward. In this “flaunt what you got” culture, I’m learning how important it is to “show your work” as they used to tell me in school. Sometimes people don’t’ need to see you at the top of the mountain as much as they need you to show them how you climb. With all that being said, this what you can expect from this blog… a unrelenting commitment to:

Stillness

Curiosity

Authenticity

Simplicity

Patience

Reflection

Focus

& Progress

If this sounds like something you would like, please follow the journey here on medium. If it’s something you really like, please give me some feedback by direct messaging me on Instagram @marniotoussaint. If it’s something you REALLY REALLY like, then please share with a friend.

Peace✌🏽,

Marnio