The Space Within You, And How to Find it
By: Yasmeen Elgerbi
Tags: Awareness, Meditation, Philosophy, Mindfulness

Photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash

Let’s do a quick experiment.

Take a very deep breath.

Close your eyes for a few moments and visualize your inner self as empty space. Expansive. And in harmony with everything.

Open your eyes. How do you feel?

Maybe you felt something expand inside you for a moment. Maybe you didn’t feel anything at all. Or maybe you felt like there’s an interesting undiscovered space within you.

This expansive space within is akin to what many spiritual teachers call awareness, or the neutral/nonjudgmental observer that lives just below the surface of our minds and only comes out when the mind quietens. This neutral inner awareness or “the observer” that lives within us, (what I like to refer to as space), is ever-present. If you meditate, or manage to calm your mind, you will feel its presence simply because it’s always there. And the only time you can’t feel it is when you’re not fully present. And you’re not fully present when you’re overthinking, busy, or simply running on automated modes of being (engaging in repetitive daily tasks in a semi-conscious state of mind). So how do you find this inner expansive neutral calming space?

Don’t Make Finding it a Goal

Many spiritual teachings suggest that we should aim to permanently stay in this awareness or switch to a permanent “observer” mode by shedding our ego and renouncing desire. That is simply impossible because change is a fundamental part of being human. We are always changing and the world around us is always changing too. To aim for a permanent state of being is unrealistic because the very nature of being is subject to change. We grow older. We learn new things. We have new experiences. We struggle. And trying to be a permanent “observer”, detached from the mind and its thoughts, sounds like imprisoning yourself in a hell colored as heaven.

Our society is very goal-oriented that even its spiritual teachings aiming to reverse goal-oriented behavior is it self goal-oriented. And that creates many unfulfilled “spiritual” seekers that are always just one retreat away from finding permanent (nonexistent) bliss.

Just like happiness, inner space or awareness cannot be maintained because the state of being human is temporary. Our time on earth is temporary, and so is everything that we experience. Our thoughts come and go. Our emotional states fluctuate. And we’re not always happy nor should we aim to be always happy. Because permanency is stagnation. No growth happens when you’re always happy. And no new experiences happen when you’re always immersed in some blissful inner space.

But calming your mind more often and accessing an expansive inner state is still very important for your sense of balance.

There’s a difference between growth and destruction. Sure painful experiences can help you grow, but dwelling in them for prolonged periods of time will only destroy you. They will slowly consume you and then eventually make it hard for you to live a normal life. Just like seeking permanent bliss can create stagnation, being in permanent pain will create an unbearable kind of stagnation that steals your capacity to feel joy and a sense of well-being.

And that is dangerous.

So instead of trying to find permanent bliss or fighting what seems like permanent pain, connect with your inner expansive space, or awareness, to create balance in your being.

Meditation is a great tool to have easier access to that inner space. Or simply being mindful.

Actually, any activity that calms your mind and grounds you in the present can help you connect with your expansive inner space, like being in nature.

The trick is to not try to find it, because you are not connecting with it if you’re busy searching for it. The key is to only connect with it with the knowing in mind that it’s there. That expansive space is all within you and all around you. And so when you close your eyes or do whatever activity that helps you calm down, you can feel it right within.

Finally, it’s important to understand that this inner space is almost intangible. You can’t physically locate it or mentally define it. It probably doesn’t even exist in the physical sense. Even if many spiritual teachers attempt to put a finger on it, we still cannot pinpoint it. We can only feel it. And it’s there because we can feel it.

As Alan Watts once said:

“What we have to discover is that there is no safety, that seeking is painful, and that when we imagine that we have found it, we don’t like it.”

My last note to you is if you’re seriously struggling to live a normal life due to persistent mental health issues, seeking professional help is always a number one option (even necessity) because mental health is very complex and has many dimensions. Fortunately there are people who are dedicating their lives to understanding them. Trying to find inner balance entirely on our own can be exhausting.