The Story Behind My New Tattoo
By: Sasha Meyer
Tags: Being Yourself, Tattoo, Meaning, Judgement

and why there really isn’t any…

Picture by Pedro Sandrini on Pexels

Before I got my tattoo I wanted to find or rather make up a story for it…

I thought about incorporating little hints of who I am.

A little airplane… for my love of traveling.

A pen… as a symbol for my passion for writing.

A sloth… as a reminder for my time spent in Central America.

I wanted to put a meaning behind every little detail of it.

The number of dots or circles, the shape of things, the thickness of the lines, the placement of the piece, the date of the appointment, …

I overthought everything for a long time, but at some point decided to just go for it already and figure more of the meaning out along the way.

I found an Artist I liked.

He made a design I loved.

We figured out a date that worked for both of us.

I waited months for my appointment and when the day finally came I still had no idea of what this real and deep meaning behind my tattoo could be.

It took four hours to get it done. Four hours seem like more than enough time to think. It should at least be enough time for me to come up with a reasonable meaning, right? Wrong!

I finally saw the finished piece of art on my arm and I just loved it. I couldn’t stop smiling. It was so well done, so pretty and somehow just so ME.

It fitted so well and in a way looked like it had always been there.

I sent pictures to my best friend and my mom. But that I was it.

Even though I loved it, I didn’t wanna show it around. Not yet anyway.

I wasn’t ready.

Why? Well…

‘ I just don’t want to annoy anyone with these silly pictures. It looks so much better in real life anyway’

‘I don’t have time to meet them in person and I rather wanna see their real facial expression when they first see it’

‘the people I’m meeting today shouldn’t be the first ones I’m showing it too’

and so many other excuses made me put on a big hoodie for the first two days after getting inked.

The real reason though… I knew whoever would see the tattoo would ask about the meaning behind it. And I knew that I wouldn’t know what to say.

I had googled potential meanings behind the shapes and the style and the placement, but nothing really resonated with me.

‘I am a writer.’ I thought to myself. ‘Shouldn’t I out of all people be able to make up a stupid explanation for these stupid people asking?’

And that’s when I realized it.

I wasn’t looking for a deeper meaning for myself…I knew my meaning!

I always did!

I was just looking for something to impress others, to explain my decision, and preferably, to not have them judge me. Mostly because what the tattoo really stood or still stands for was me and even more so me being me. My TRUE self.

Realizing that, made me feel silly.

I love my tattoo not despite, but because it’s so me.

I got it, because I finally wanted to be more myself, not just on the inside, but now on the outside too.

I chose this rather visible placement because I wanted to stop hiding who I really am and stop worrying so much about potential judgment by others. I don’t have to tell any and every person I meet on the street my whole life story or my most personal feelings and views of the world, but I need to stop pretending to be someone I’m not, just because I’m afraid to be judged or misunderstood.

When I’m at work, in my little uniform, the tattoo will be hidden. It has to, because they -them being the heads of the company- say so. And that’s ok. Because work-me is a different person. There is still a whole lot of real-me in that person, but obviously, I’m acting differently then I would in real life. I’m representing my company, it’s my job to take care of the customers and to make sure everyone feels as comfortable as possible.

Not that I am purposely trying to make others uncomfortable in my free time, but my main concern then is simply to take care of myself and do whatever makes me happy rather than being the person my customers want or need me to be.

With a tattoo, you’ll always be judged by some people. In general, being your true self makes you automatically not be everyone’s cup of tea — no matter which way you choose to express yourself. It might make some people go away, but therefore it certainly will attract your kind of people even faster.

But I’m not here to tell you why being your true authentic self will always be the best choice you can make.

The point of this whole story is, I don’t need a big meaning or a deep story for my tattoo, just in case people are asking. And neither do you.

I got my tattoo because I wanted it.

I choose the design because I liked it.

And the only thing that it might now stand for is a little reminder not to be afraid to be who I really am.

And that’s all the meaning I will ever need.