Dear 2020,
By: Auzsha Bell
Tags: 2020, Myyear, Death, Anxiety, Sadness

Dear 2020,

I just want to say you suck ! As I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way or maybe some don’t . Here’s a little recap of my 2020 .

In January my dad was hospitalised and diagnosed with fungal meningitis. Mind you I live in Oregon and he lives in Arizona . I was out of work pretty much every other week to be there with him . I couldn’t even talks to him . Well, I could but he couldn’t talk back and that really isn’t cool by the slightest . Just sad .

The next couple of months weren’t Easy , like I said a lot of back and forth . Doctors tried everything and his body just would respond . So many surgeries too . Nothing was helping as they sent him to a hospice home. On April 8th he passed away in his sleep , with my mother by his side .

On the same day he passed away exactly 12 hours after my cat gave birth to 4 kittens . Reincarnation? I’m not sure you tell me .

The same month I also got my own apartment. If I’m honest with you , I do not prey to anyone but I prey to him a lot . I got an apartment working 24 hours of looking and applying . I only applied to one place !

May -June wasn’t terrible nothing I can remember that really broke me down I mean COVID obviously sucked and everything has been shut down . Which does suck especially in the beginning because it feels like there is nothing to do .

Then July came , and BAM ! Another loss in my family . My cousin Derrick passed away from a gun shot . It definitely was unexpected to say the least . Don’t want to go into details there but he did not deserve what he got . This year has just been rough on my family mentally.

August was okay got to go on a little trip to the beach with my friends it was a good break . I really needed it because I was literally having panic attacks almost weekly to the point I’d loose feeling in my hands and feet . Also my mom and sisters moved back to Oregon and my brother moved in with my boyfriend and I .

In September I turned 21, yay ! Except once again everything is shut down so not much happened . Not that I’m really into drinking anyways but still . My brother wasn’t really doing anything he said he was going to so that was stressful . And we had to kind’ve ask him to leave . That was hard .

In October I think it wasn’t to bad , just emotionally drained really . Halloween was fun ! Other than me getting scammed $400 for a dog . Yeah that is a whole story In Itself …

November was good , we hosted thanksgiving for the first time it was nice . I think that’s also the same month we found out our cat had worms though , was scary to find out but he’s okay and healthy as can be now .

And now December , I’m just ready for the year to be over . It’s been crazy so many downs the the little ups felt like big ones . We just got a dog about a week ago (this time for real) and he is so adorable. He’s a German Shepard husky all white . Precious! But our other animals are not used to him at all so this week has been fun. Also he doesn’t know right from wrong at all. He wasn’t taken care of by whoever had him before . But he’s not bad he’s just full of energy . Anyways that’s where I am now .