5 Ways to Deal with a Bully
By: Matthew Hassan
Tags: Wisdom, Self Help, Bullying, Personal Development, Advice

Experience has taught me over the years that a bully’s action is very telling of their insecurities. At first, it’s common to take on their accusations as true which might make you feel guilty and insecure. Whatever you do: don’t fall for this.

A common misconception is that bullying only happens to younger adults. Trust me when I say that this can happen to anyone at any age within your life (potentially multiple times). As someone whom has been bullied countless times over the years, there are ways to rise above the situation leaving you in a much better mental state. So, how do you deal with a bully?

Kill them with kindness: Remember that a bully ultimately wants to control you, bring you down to their level, and make themselves feel better about themselves. Instead of reacting in way that empowers them, do the opposite and be kind. I’m not talking about putting on a fake smile, high pitched voice, roll over, and be their servant. Instead, offer help where needed, try to get to know them, and incorporate casual banter where possible. Ignore them: If there’s anything that a bully despises, it’s that you’re not acknowledging their behaviour. Rise above it by surrounding yourself with people whom you love and care about. When you begin to harbour positive thoughts, you start to realise what really matters in life. Get others involved: I’m not advocating to start a gang and have an epic stand off like the West Side Story, but it’s important to reach out to those you love and trust to talk about this. Wouldn’t you like to know if someone you cared about was being bullied? Wouldn’t you want to protect them? Not only will this help with your mental health, but you’ll start to find that they will stand up for you and provide a voice where you might not have been able to. Understand that bullies are insecure. The next time a bully speaks to you or treats you badly, consider watching and listening closely, then take note of what happened. More often than not, the manner in which they’re treating you speaks volumes about what internal issues they’re going through. This isn’t to say that you should fuel the fire by rubbing this back in their face (in fact, I highly advise against that), but this newfound wisdom might provide you with an empathetic point of view; a better understanding of what they’re going through themselves. Keep your ego in check. The saying is cliché, but it’s never been more true. Try to make peace, reach out, offer a hand/shoulder, and do your best to be the bigger person. This is by far the most difficult to master since our egos get in the way. We don’t want to appear weak because we feel as though we’ve ‘submitted’ to what the bully wants. The best thing you can do is offer a sense of understanding and cohesiveness. You’d be surprised how quickly a bully can let their guard down.

This isn’t an exhaustive list and there’s no one way to subside the situation. The important thing to take away from this is that when we feel burdened by a bully, always keep in mind that life is too short to feel trapped and put down. If you’re willing to deal with an uncomfortable situation while utilizing your resources to the best of your ability, then the wisdom you gain from this will contribute to your continued success in life. It will get easier.

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PSA: If you feel as though you’re being bullied, ensure you reach out to a friend, family member, or online support group in your local area for advice. There’s no weakness in asking for help… only strength.