I AM NOT ENOUGH
By: Pravin Raj Joshi
Tags: Gender Equality, Motivation, Women, Nepal, Psychology

20 girls in a room and they all feel the same — “I AM NOT ENOUGH”.

Whether it be in not being comfortable to share, or to express feelings, or comparing with others, or not being able to make the most out of opportunities each one of them feel the same.

Data of Nepal shows that more girls (51%) than boys (49%) appear for the School leaving Certificate exam for class 10. It also shows that more girls are currently enrolled in school compared to boys.

Data of Nepal also shows that only 22% of Nepali women are employed.

World Bank report shows female youth (ages 15–24) literacy rate of 90.88% in 2018.

With such literacy rates and with more girls being in school than boys, it becomes a question to ask what causes so less women to get employed and what goes through their mind as they see themselves more and more involved in making homes?

With these 2 questions in mind, we asked 20 adolescent girls for an open discussion on thoughts and potential answers.

After 2 hours of discussions, jokes, smiles, tears, fears and self reflection all came to — “I AM NOT ENOUGH”.

It all begins with norms setup by families and society for girls, specially ones that are about to go into higher education or those that are thinking of going into the workplace. From the classrooms, to homes to activities girls are treated differently thereby rendering their thoughts of not being capable.

Asian Development Bank’s Country briefing paper “Women In Nepal” states that the major reasons for not sending daughters to school include lack of household resources; lack of sense of importance since girls will marry; girls’ workload at home; high school fees; lack of female teachers or adequate facilities. The same can be extended for not sending daughters to workplace or sometimes even do things they would love to do. This, in turn, leaves the daughters feeling incapable.

Manaswi Agarwal, one of the attendees in the discussion said, “The time when I was treated differently was when I asked my parents to let me go to a tour with my friends, but I was denied. On the other hand, my brother was allowed to go a trip with his friends. This may be negligible for many but these small differences still exist.”

The same thought goes into the classroom. As Sabdita Adhikari said, “When I was in 8th grade our class teacher came to our class and asked if anyone wanted to go for robotics.

So 4 girls raised their hand along with me and 6 boys. At the end 5 boys got the chance out of 11 students and all 4 girls, despite being brilliant in mathematics and physics, didn’t get the chance. I asked my teacher and he was like okay you can go for dance or drama. And that time it was real clear that we didn’t get chance because we were girls cause not even a single girls were selected from 7–10 class.”

This extends further into the society. As Anjila expresses her sorrow, “In my family, I don’t know why there is a rule of not letting women be part of the cremation ceremony ( especially daag batti dine wala). During the demise of my grandmother, I stepped forward to help my father with the ceremony. There were eyebrows raised, questions asked and what not.”

Earlier on in their lives most girls realize the male bias of the society that further permeates into the workplace. This can be verified by the Nepal Labor Force Survey 2017–18, “women are heavily hired in elementary and less technical jobs while males are hired in higher positions and more technical jobs, which also lead to the wage gap between male and female.”

This male bias is prevalent through politics and responsible position assignments too. In Current form of local Governments in most parts of Nepal ““Males were preferred for the job of chiefs at local level while females have been elected to the post of deputy chiefs. This is reflective of how our society functions and this tendency is prevalent in all areas — even in the private sector.”

As mentioned in the Asian Foundation’s Nepal’s Locally Elected Women Representatives: Exploratory Study of Needs and Capacity, Election Commission 2017 Election report states that “There is the fact that 91% of the deputy positions — deputy mayors in municipalities and vice chairpersons in rural municipalities — were won by women, but men won 98% of chief positions — mayors and chairpersons.” This further emphasizes the male bias as shown by Nepal Labor Force Survey 2017–18.

From public positions to businesses, schools and society women have been given a less meaning role than men, and the family and society’s treatment of then makes them feel less capable from very early on in life. Thereby leading to acceptance of social norms and feeling of less than others.

Lokopakar, a registered private company working in social activities in Nepal, has started a program called Strength togetHER. Strength togetHER is a safe space for girls for peer to peer self support. It is a platform where girls can share their feelings, emotions in a safe environment to help grow and build strong relationships. Girls from different ages and backgrounds come together to share their stories and listen to others’ stories. Girls share their opinions and get positive feedback. It helps girls to grow emotionally.

Strength togetHER started off as a offshoot of the 20 girls discussion that lead to the general feeling of “I AM NOT ENOUGH”. Strength togetHER tackles that with groups of girls where they talk about various topics and come up with potential solutions and self empowerment leading to lessening the not enough feeling.

Some of the topics that girls have discussed include Let’s talk about relationships, Experience sharing, invisible wounds, It doesn’t feel safe being a girl, I wanted a change, etc.

As Rezina, Strength togetHER member put it “Strength togetHER has helped me discover and develop inherent strength to grow healthy and independent. Ensuring all the girls to have the opportunities to express ideas and feelings that brings about personal development and systematic change.”

The topic of “I AM NOT ENOUGH” is hidden under the various layers of political, social and cultural statements, but the feeling exists and is real.

As Ayusha Parajuli says “MANY times I have been straight up told by teachers to not do heavy works like help pick up the chairs and podium and all for being a girl and was asked some “strong boy” to help. And been told that I still have a chance to win at life if I make a rich guy fall in love with me. There was no “I believe you can be successful and earn by yourself and be independent in the future.” But there was “us boys have to earn hard to keep everyone satisfied but you have it easy; you can just marry a rich guy.”

Timila Maharjan wraps it up with her own lessons in life from people showing the road ahead — “I always wanted to play sports like football and basketball in school but I didn’t get a chance because there were no any team of girls playing sports. Firstly , sports was taken as boys thing and only boys had their football or basketball teams. Secondly girls didn’t show interests and although some girls along with me did, the school wasn’t supportive and didn’t believe us only because we’re girls. I still wish to play sports but when I got an opportunity to play in college, I wasn’t confident enough and maybe the school memories triggered me so bad that I never participated. I only played board games and badminton, but always wanted to play other sports like football, volleyball, basketball etc.”

Reports, articles and news for the basis of the story:

https://tradingeconomics.com/nepal/literacy-rate-youth-female-percent-of-females-ages-15-24-wb-data.html

https://countryeconomy.com/demography/literacy-rate/nepal

https://kathmandupost.com/valley/2019/05/02/only-22-percent-of-working-age-women-are-employed-in-nepal

https://www.unitedworldschools.org/blog/female-education-nepal

https://www.nepalitimes.com/latest/half-of-nepals-girls-may-drop-out-of-school/

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/336208995_Significance_of_Girl_Education_Parents'_Perception_from_Rural_Madhesh_of_Nepal

https://www.adb.org/sites/default/files/institutional-document/32561/women-nepal.pdf

https://asiafoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Nepals-Locally-Elected-RepresentativesExploratory-Study-of-Needs-and-Capacity-Assessment_7242018.pdf

Lokopakar related links:

http://lokopakar.com/

http://lokopakar.com/biggerPicture.html

http://lokopakar.com/posterGallery.html

https://strengthtogether10.blogspot.com/

https://strengthtogether10.blogspot.com/2020/05/strength-together-is-space-for-girls.html