Things NOT To Tell Someone Who Is In Depression
By: Shahed Sajid
Tags: Depression, Life, Hardness, Mentalism, Sadness

Many people profess to be in ‘Depression’. But most of them don’t even know what it is. They just misuse the term. So what is depression? I will break it down into two parts. One is about what depression really is and the other is about things not to tell someone who is suffering from it.

What Is Depression?

Before bragging about your depression, you need to know what it actually is, why it is different from mild sadness, and why each one of you who claims to be in it are not really in it. There are many stages of it. Among them, major or clinical depression is the one I’m going to talk about because that is the kind of depression we mostly face.

Major or clinical depression is a state where we lose all kinds of interests in things we love. Some of us like to draw, some like to sing, some like to read books. But sometimes, we find no interests in any of these. Things we love to do just don’t excite us anymore. Thoughts of being useless, taking our lives, come crawling.

Depression isn’t something that is caused by a particular reason. That’s where everyone mixes it up. When we fail in our tests, break up with our partner, lose someone, it’s sadness. The lexical meaning of depression and sadness might be the same, but what they actually mean is something more than that. That is the reason behind everyone claiming to be in depression. Breaking up with your partner, not being able to pass the test, aren’t the reason behind depression. It is caused by no reason. We feel down and sober, just like it. No reason, nothing. We just don’t feel like giving it anymore, we just don’t feel like pushing it to the point where it’s all worth it. What we go through when we fight with someone, fail in the tests, or break up with our partner, is rather mild sadness. It’s sad, sometimes tragic. But not how most of us define.

Depression is an actual disease. Just like we get cold, fevers, we can also get into depression without any certain reason. It can be cured by psychotherapy. But in most cases what happens is, we get shy and don’t talk about this serious issue with our parents or family members. This is why this predicament gets prolonged.

Now that you know the difference between depression and mild sadness, it is better not to try and seek attention when you’re just feeling sad for a moment. Because if you do that, what you’ll actually be doing is shrouding the people who are really into this big mess. Feeling sad for a moment doesn’t necessarily mean you are in depression. But if you lose interest in foods, can’t sleep or oversleep for a long period of time, then you need to go to a psychologist as soon as possible.

Things You Should Think Thrice Before Telling Someone Who Is In Depression

We often make fun of people that are in depression. Just because some people find a weird satisfaction in claiming themselves to be in it when they’re actually not, doesn’t mean there aren’t any who is suffering from it.

The symptoms of major or clinical depression can be seen in many people. They lose appetite for food, overthink about something, have either insomnia or hypersomnia. Those are the real cases and the people that are actually suffering from it. We assume that they are also clout chasers who are trying to seek attention by the name of depression. But THEY are the ones who need attention, a few sweet words, a little bit of our time. Positive interactions can improve their mental stability, which helps them to get out of depression. We have to avoid these few things from telling someone who are in depression, let it be the ones with the real disease or the ones who are trying to gain sympathy for no reason. We can’t risk the real sufferers for the few prejudiced ones.

1. “Come on! You stay in your house all day long and are having depression? If you were busy doing some work, then you wouldn’t get the time to think about it.”

Maybe the person you’re saying this to does go to work, does clean dishes and does clear out the garbage. But he might not be feeling well for the time being. He is probably going through some problems that he can’t find out the reasons of. What you are doing is only worsening his situation.

2. “You are just a child. You are going through depression? Stop kidding!”

Depression is a common disease for everyone. Just as teenagers or adults can have depression, a child can have it as well. When we are young, we don’t have the ability to understand everything, yet we try to think about them and what that ultimately does is cause this mental state.

3. “Everyone has to go through difficult situations in their life. It’s nothing special. Stop thinking about it.”

Yes, you are correct. Everyone has to go through tough events in their life. But you are not helping the one who is going through it right now. You are showing your right philosophy to the wrong person at the wrong time.

4. “Don’t think about it. Just go with the flow.”

That’s a common advice we give when we are talking to someone who is in depression. Telling them not to think about it will create more anxiety inside them and they will continue overthinking. Instead, we should say something like this, “Hey man, we have got a football match tomorrow against section-B. The class president chose you in the starting line-up.” They will get amused. Even if they don’t, try to convince them softly. Because sometimes we don’t find the reason of doing something until we actually do it.

There are many relatable things that we say to people around us. But that’s not right. If we do that, we only make living hard for the infirm people, and that’s clearly not what we want. So, we have to stop claiming ourselves to be in depression when we are momentarily sad to make room for the actual sufferer of the disease so that the sympathy only applies to the people that are in need of it. And we should stop saying stupid things to people who are in depression. Because we want to help them, not worsen their condition.