Before and After — Same-Sex Marriage Passed in Taiwan
Tags: Queer, Same Sex Marriage, Advocate, Taiwan, Equality

Taiwan legalized same-sex marriage two years ago on May 17th, 2019, and that was a huge step in Asia because Taiwan was the first country in Asia to do so. People in Taiwan have been striving for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community for at least 30 years, and here comes the great result.

I came out to my friends while I was in college, before then, I wasn’t brave enough to tell people my sexual orientation, or I would say, why bother telling people this information that could bring troubles to me? But then I realized how important it is to come out to people you trust. Before 2018, I wasn’t really involved in the events of the LGBTQ+ community, I even rarely went to gay bars. However, I was really honored to join in the second half of the war from 2016–2019 between people who are or who support the LGBTQ+ community and people who are from anti-LGBTQ+ groups. And especially thanks to Jennifer Lu, who brought me into this world and I became one of the rainbow warriors to fight for justice and people like me.

When I was in my childhood, people frequently teased men who act feminine, or women who act masculine, just because they act differently from the standards given by this traditional society. I believe nowadays, people still do so, but it became a huge pressure to me to come out to anyone when I was young. Sometimes I could hear them making fun of those people or gossiping about who was gay or lesbian although it might only be their gender expression instead of their sexual orientation. I mean, at that time, people didn’t understand this and that, so they used a simple way — mocking those people who weren’t normal to them.

Actually, I was really nervous when people ask me if I am gay. All I cared about was their opinions or their perspectives, but I didn’t see mine. I could remember my junior high school best friends (They are all girls, and we are still best friends), one day they asked me if I was gay. I understood they didn’t intend to hurt me, just being curious, so I said to them “I think I am bisexual.” I know this is not cool to the real bisexual community, but I was young and still trying to understand what is it because no one told me how gay or bisexual could be like.

I was even worried that how I marry a woman without having sex. But yeah, I did have feelings for women, however, I realized that it was more like making friends with them was awesome rather than having a close relationship with them. I don’t really like too much skin touch with women… This is my discovery when I was young, and you have to find out yours! In the digital generation, I believe there are more examples on Google, or more people can share with you the experience, even it is on the internet.

I knew I wasn’t bisexual after graduating from junior high school, but I didn’t tell anyone, this was my little secret. So, if my friends in college didn’t encourage me and tell me it is okay to share anything even my sexual orientation, maybe I won’t be brave enough to come out again, and for the real one. You definitely should come out when you feel safe and comfortable, no matter they are your parents or your friends, if they don’t understand what the LGBTQ+ community is, they may have prejudice. And actually, it needs practice, you can tell how people react after you come out to them.

Luckily, my dad came to me before I got my first job, he asked carefully and he just wanted me to tell him if I was into men. And I was really proud of him because he didn’t try to be against me, the only thing he did is listening and trying to understand what happened to me, no judgment, no prejudice, no fight, he even asked me why I didn’t tell them, he thought we can talk through this because no matter what, I am always his child. (I burst into tears when he told me this)

I am really lucky to have thoughtful friends and open-minded parents (Well, they are half open-minded I think, not fully open mind lol), but I wasn’t really engaged in the gay community, and I didn’t really go on to the street or attend the Pride parade, maybe I can save this part (About the reason why I wasn’t active in the gay community) for another article, but my point is, after I came out to my friends, I felt like I should at least do something so I started to walk on the street joining the protest or the parade.

At the end of 2016, more and more people standing on the street no matter what sexual orientations they are. There were 250,000 people on the street for this issue. It was a huge step because a couple of years ago, you could only see mostly LGBTQ+ people fighting for their rights on the street, but not many allies (I am so ashamed that I wasn’t there! And thanks to those people who stood for us!). Not to mention when the Constitution Interpretation in 2017 even makes the crowds bigger, and then the Referendum in 2018 and Legislation in 2019, you could see more and more people were trying to communicate with conservative people.

The huge success on passing the law in Taiwan or being the first country in Asia to legalize same-sex marriage did make most Taiwanese proud, however, those who are conservative and anti-LGBTQ+ are still out there, maybe because of the religions, the peer pressures, or the natural laws, they just don’t feel comfortable accepting LGBTQ+ community, well, I totally understand, but talking us down doesn’t make you superior to us, not to mention using violence to bully people like us.

Equality is still on the way, passing same-sex marriage is not the end of the road, it should be just one door to equality. After same-sex marriage was legalized, I see more and more gay and lesbian couples holding their hands while walking on the street, and it is more friendly to the LGBTQ+ community to work in their workplaces, and I know more and more celebrities are willing to come out to the public.

According to the news of the survey from the government, Taiwanese people’s acceptance of same-sex marriage has significantly increased to 60.4 percent in 2021 from 37.4 percent in 2018 before the country legalized same-sex marriage.

Those are good signs which lead us to a better world but don’t forget, people may still bully other children due to their gender expression, people still saying something really bad to the LGBTQ+ community on the internet, and anti-LGBTQ+ groups never stop hurting us in many ways. I heard that there were some volunteer mothers going to schools to read stories for young kids, but they were reading something like a home is formed by a dad and a mom or girls should wear dress not pants, it was brainwashing conservative thoughts to young kids! They knew they couldn’t beat us on the law, they used cunning ways to brainwash young kids, that was more horrible! And though we passed the law, we are not having the same law as heterosexual couples, it is not the equality we expected.

Anyways, I am really proud of being a Taiwanese and seeing more and more people who are really friendly to the LGBTQ+ community. Taiwan is indeed a country having diversity and inclusion from many perspectives, but still, we have a lot to learn, because the visibilities of some minorities are very low, how can we make this world seeing them? Well, don’t stop advocating, because once you keep silent all the time, you don’t know who will come to rescue you when next time you yell. Supporting and understanding the topics you care about, trying to communicate with other people, not fighting, again, fighting is not helpful for the communication, don’t forget, communicating is the best way to solve the problems!