6 Survival Skills for the Anxious Advertiser
By: Harry Neale
Tags: Advertising, Mental Health, Human Behavior, Anxiety, Work

6 Survival Skills for the Anxious Advertiser

Boss: I’ve just taken a look at what you’ve sent through. It’s a good start but needs a little extra work and some tweaking.

Me(internal): *Ok. Breathe. It’s fine. You’re fine. So what? You got something wrong, everyone does sometimes, and it’s not the end of the world. BUT then again… you seem to be getting more things wrong than usual, actually way more than anyone else. And it isn’t as if people haven’t noticed. Have you seen the way they look at you? They clearly don’t think you’re good enough, you might as well start packing up now, save them the hassle of having to do it for you once they get rid of you. Ok you’re just being dramatic now. Stop being a martyr. Why can’t you just take it on the chin and move on? Ergh you’re so annoying. Just sort your shit out FOR ONCE. When will you just grow up and learn to be better? No wonder you keep getting things wrong. Ok breathe. It’s fine. You’re fine…*

Boss: Is that ok?

Me: Yeah. It’s fine.

If you’ve had a situation in your workplace like the above or similar, congratulations! You’ve had an anxiety attack at work. There’s pretty much nothing more anxiety driving than writing about it, so even if you hate what you’re about to read, it would be greatly appreciated if you told me you loved it, that it’s a modern masterpiece or provide me with any other form of general validation.

A visual representation of what it feels like in your anxious brain when something goes wrong…

I’ve been to enough talks, spoken to enough people and had more than enough of my own experiences to understand how tough it can be to deal with these nagging feelings of doubt, self-criticism and failure that all happen simultaneously in your head. I’ve always struggled with my own anxiety, even from a young age (unknowingly at least). Fears that my friends will stop liking me, teachers not thinking I’m smart enough, that I’m not good or funny enough constantly plagued me growing up and followed me from school, through university and in to my work life. It’s only in the last few years that I have felt comfortable to talk about it and seek help and support.Thankfully, mental health awareness has been growing and its importance has too with more people understanding and openly talking about it too.

The simplest explanation of anxiety is that it’s a fear of something that we think is happening or is going to happen in the future, like pitching an idea and fearing people won’t like it. This is natural and most people will feel anxious at times, but it’s when your fears or worries are out of proportion to the situation at hand when things can get a little out of control. An estimated 1 in 4 people in the UK experiencing a mental health problem each year according to Mind UK, with people twice more likely to suffer with anxiety than any other. In advertising, it is likely even higher.

Is that really surprising though? The advertising industry has always classically been seen as one that draws on people’s anxiety and insecurities for profit/sales (this isn’t necessarily true, but it’s an assumption of the industry that has stuck in many people’s minds). Not only that, it’s something steeped in subjectivity. From reactions of people who watch the ads, to clients feeding back on work, even internal reaction on initial thoughts and ideas, there is always someone with something to say about what you’ve put all of your effort in to. Thanks to the wondrous invention of things like social media, this is exacerbated even further, giving everyone a platform and opportunity to say what they really think with little to no repercussion.

On a more day-to-day level, near enough all roles include co-operation and working well with others. As anyone with anxiety can vouch for, there is a constant desire for control that is underlined by a need to have positive relationships with everyone and for people to think you’re good enough. Imposter syndrome is rife in the industry and no one wants to be found out by anyone else (who is likely feeling the exact same way).

In a worst case scenario, this need for approval can be taken advantage of. People can play in to these insecurities, but you’re so concerned with what they think, you can’t help but go along with it in the hope of being liked. It’s a vicious cycle that more often than not gets a puncture and goes careering off the road.

However, All is not lost. Although anxiety can be hard to deal with, it CAN be dealt with. There are ways to be able to identify symptoms and more importantly, manage them. Below are 6 survival skills that have helped me quell the nagging voice in my head when it begins to get too loud.

Before I begin I want to preface that I am NOT an expert on the subject of anxiety and in no way do I think I’m a ‘severe’ sufferer of the condition. I just thought I would share my own experiences with how I have learnt to best cope. If that helps someone out in any way, either by giving them usable things to try or just giving them something to read to so they don’t feel alone, then it will have been worth it.

HOW TO MANAGE IT

1 . Research, learn and understand.

As I mentioned above, many in the industry struggle with imposter syndrome and feel like they don’t know what they are doing a majority of the time. The below Twitter exchange between BBH and renowned strategy guy Mark Pollard is a near enough spot on representation of this –

This can create a mental filter (a sort of tunnel vision) that makes us focus on the things we don’t know and block out what we do.

However, if you can back up what you are saying with actual evidence, it can really help you feel like you know your stuff. You can do this with research, data or all other kinds of evidence that help to make you feel more comfortable talking about a subject or in a certain situation. Being able to show what you are saying isn’t just a finger in the air or a shot in the dark can help to give you more confidence in sharing your thoughts and make you feel less like you aren’t supposed to be here.

2 . Listen to people you respect (and who in turn respect you).

It’s one of the hardest thing to take when you present an idea to a colleague, a client or even your mum and it doesn’t land the way you wanted it to. Again, advertising is subjective, a masterpiece to one person could be a dog turd to another. Sometimes your best ideas will be binned, but that doesn’t mean it was bad.

Rather than stew on it and beat yourself up, show it to someone who you respect and whose opinion means more to you. If you don’t have anyone like that who you work with, try and find a mentor (this has MASSIVELY helped me) or even someone from the target market you were aiming for outside of the industry to get some honest thoughts. You’ll likely appreciate their feedback, be more open to hearing it and understanding what you can work on for next time.

Additionally, if you ARE lucky enough to work with someone who respects you, you’ll be able gain a better understanding of why your idea wasn’t the right route this time and won’t feel as if your work is being pushed aside for the sake of it. You’ll also feel more comfortable discussing when things aren’t going great and life is getting on top of you.

3 . Make friends not colleagues.

Kind of echoing the last point, get to know people on a more personal level and allow them to know you too. This helps make people a little less scary so you feel like when you work with them and something goes wrong, you’re having a conversation rather than a confrontation.

This allows you to build a better support system for when things get tough, as well as make you better at empathising for others (and they for you) which at the end of the day will make you better at your job that’s all about understanding other humans!

4 . Don’t sacrifice good enough for perfect.

Yes, we all want everything we do to be immaculate. As kids we wanted gold stars from teachers, as adults we want an excessive amount of smiley faces in email replies. But sometimes, no matter what you do, they won’t come. Sometimes, the perfect response just doesn’t exist and you can do yourself more harm than good searching for it.

Striving for perfection with a pinch of OCD is a classic symptom of an anxious overthinker, even when it’s likely unachievable (I know this first hand which is why it has taken me nearly two years to write this article). Now and again, you can settle for a piece of work that’s great or just good and take some of that stress off of your shoulders (which is probably why I’ve been able to FINALLY finish this article).

5 . Help yourself.

I went to a talk on wellness and mental health a while back where the theory of an ‘internal bucket’ was presented. This is where you collect all of your stresses, fears and worries when they come, with the aim being not to let it overflow. The trick is to understand how big your bucket is, how you can empty it and what’s filling it in the first place. Thankfully, finding ways to destress can help either empty or increase the size of your bucket, and finding a way to positively deal with stress can stop it filling at all.

If you need help, then get it. If you need a day off to get your head straight, ask for it. Find the things that help you deal with the noise in your head and make it a little more bearable. Everyone is different and will find different approaches helpful. There are a number of mindfulness apps (like Calm and Headspace) or calming activities to try that can go towards releasing the pressure you’re putting on yourself and put you in a greater state of calmness. If watching trash on Netflix or being addicted to Candy Crush helps you then that’s great too. We’re all different and will find different ways to keep ourselves sane.

In you are in a bad place and don’t even know where to start, you can always seek more professional help such as therapy (like CBT) or through charities like Mind to learn more robust techniques to manage your mindset before it gets out of control.

6 . Chill out, it’s only advertising!

This is perfectly encapsulated by Jim Carroll (former Chairman of BBH) below –

Quote from Jim Carroll (check out his blog it’s great)

We don’t save lives, rescue people from burning buildings or make huge life altering decisions. We make things to make people want to buy stuff. If we can do that in a way that has a positive impact on their lives, those less fortunate or the world as a whole, then even better.

Of course, this is in no way meant to diminish the advertising industry, but it is meant to make it clear that it is not all as serious as we sometimes make it out to be in our heads. Context is obviously important and you can still be annoyed/upset/angry/frustrated when things go wrong, but looking at the bigger picture we are lucky to work in an industry where the stakes are relatively low.

In conclusion, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK.

These are the things that I’ve learnt during my brief time in the industry and that have helped me personally, but at the end of the day, only you know how much you can take and when things get too much. It’s easy to beat yourself up and take 100% of responsibility 100% of the time. We can’t always be in control of every situation though. The plates we spin will inevitably fall and smash and this can easily become overwhelming. All you can do is try, succeeding is a bonus. Living your best life is great but it’s ok not to be ok too. Aaron Gilles describes this sentiment a lot better than I ever could in his book ‘How to Survive the End of the World (When it’s in Your Own Head): An Anxiety Survival Guide’ (which I highly recommend) -

‘The most we can do is try our best. I’m not one for the motivational quotes that are thrown at you on Facebook. I don’t particularly want to climb a mountain, I can’t see myself living each day to the fullest because it seems tiring and very expensive.… The only person who is expecting more from you than you can handle is you. One simple piece of advice that works for anxiety is this: give yourself a fucking break.’

… Have a fucking Kit Kat.