The One Skill That Will Transform You Into a People Person
By: Todi Afo
Tags: Self Improvement, Relationships, Skills, Self

The One Skill That Will Transform You Into a People Person

Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash

Being able to create relationships and connect with people is arguably one of the most useful skills you can have in life.

It can help you in your professional life, for example, communicating with clients, and it can help you create amazing friendships in your personal life.

Life just seems to run smoother when you know how to deal with people.

Now, I could give a lecture on all the little things that you could do to improve your ability to get along with people, but I’m sure you have much better things to do with your time.

So I’ll cut to the chase.

Mastery of this one skill you will allow you to make deeper connections with friends and acquaintances with ease, and completely change the way you interact with others.

What is this valuable interpersonal skill?

The Skill

The one skill that you need to master is active listening.

Active listening is your ability to focus on a speaker and completely understand what the have to say.

Why Active Listening Is Great for Building Relationships

Active listening shows to speakers that you are fully engaged in the conversation, hanging off of every word, and people genuinely appreciate this kind of attention.

By listening to them so intently, you make them feel important.

Everyone wants to feel important.

People will love having you around because you make them feel like a superstar.

How to Become an Active Listener

The first step to becoming an active listener is to get out of your head.

In most conversations, while the other person is talking, we are thinking of a response, shifting our attention away from what the other person has to say.

You need to make sure that you are fully engaged with the person you are talking to. Don’t think of a response until after they are done talking. You will have more than enough time to come up with one then.

Another big key is you need to make sure you fully comprehend what the other person is saying. Ask clarifying questions such as “what did you mean by that?” or “can you tell me more about that?”. Also, once in a while, summarize what the speaker has said to make sure that both of you are on the same page.

While you are listening, hold back your judgments. People hate to be judged, and it causes them to become defensive and share less. While you are listening to them, they should feel safe to share, the same way you would want to feel.

Also, maintain strong eye contact. Strong eye contact shows your listener that you are paying attention to what they have to say.

Finally, don’t interrupt the other person in the conversation. People hate to be interrupted. It’s disrespectful, annoying, and alienates the other person from the conversation. Make sure they’re done before you give a response.

R ecap

Now, let’s go over the key components of active listening.

Be fully engaged in the conversation Maintain strong eye contact (6-second increments should be fine) Don’t judge the speaker Don’t interrupt Ask Clarifying Questions Summarize what was said

There you go! If you implement these tips into your daily interactions, you will soon become a master at active listening!