My Solution to School Shootings
By: Charles E
Tags: Gun Control, Republicans, NRA, Politics, School Shootings

Running for their lives, thanks to our Congressional Republicans

I have come up with the answer to our problem here in the United States regarding school shootings. It is staring me right in the face, and I am frankly amazed at our great President, President Donald J. Trump, the best president in our country’s history. I am amazed that that superman has not come up with my solution in his brilliant, superb, unparalleled intelligence.

Arm the students. It is such a brilliant idea and so very simple. It is essentially hiding in plain sight. It is what the Armed States of America needs. We all know that our Second Amendment protects the rights of everybody in this country to own a firearm of any kind. Our Second Amendment is what makes us Americans and not Euroweenies. We eat real meat, not fairy fishcakes or faggy diet food. We are real men and real women. So given that fact which is plain as day to anybody with two functioning brain cells, the impetus is not to unilaterally disarm our good kids and let the demented killers take their toll. We give the good kids protection. The only effective answer to a bad kid with a gun is a good kid with a gun.

We could have it set up so that the NRA division of the Republican Party could set up training classes for each school district. The age limit could be worked out in committee, but I would suggest that nobody younger than 12 (twelve) years old should be allowed to participate. It would be called perhaps “The American Schoolyard Shooter Solution” or as an acronym, perhaps ASS would be a good motivating, space-saving name. The 12-year-old age limit is good because it would get some armed students into elementary school. The 6th graders who pass the NRA training and qualifying sessions would be known as “Junior Security Students”. At that age, I see no need for any type of hierarchy or upper-level separation of students by their skillsets, simply because they are only going to be at the elementary level for one year. Essentially, that year would be a training year as well as allowing them to participate in ASS. Then when they graduate to middle school, we could perhaps set up a two-tiered system, where the more adept students would supervise those who aren’t quite as skilled. Now, by skilled, I don’t mean just as far as marksmanship. I mean as far as a safety-oriented, proactive mindset. And patriotism is so important that it doesn’t need to be mentioned. It will be assumed. These “upper-ASS” students would also have the advantage of going into high school with the higher skill level, and in the high schools we might have perhaps a 3-tiered system of our ASS program. Needless to say, those on the top tier would get a significant boost in the competition to enter selective colleges. West Point, VMI, here they come. Practically prequalified. ROTC would be extremely appropriate for these students in any Ivy League school.

So perhaps this week or next, I will try to engage our President Trump on this issue. I might end up on the phone with some switchboard operator, but word will filter through. And the publication of this proposal will undoubtedly cause me to receive input from security professionals at all levels. When all is said and done, my proposed idea will make the Armed States of America a beacon of hope in a world of eunuchs and Euroweenies.