Are You Sure You Want More Kids?
By: Jack Heimbigner
Tags: Life, Children, Parenting, Family, Fatherhood

Are You Sure You Want More Kids?

Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash

You know what I hate, people who disapprove of my wife and I decided that we want a big family.

My wife and I love children. Right now, we have three beautiful daughters. And you know what? We are excited about the possibility of having more kids.

Now, you know what really sends me through the roof though? When I get these responses to the potential of us having more kids:

“Do you think you can support that many children?”

“You know, there are a lot of children who don’t have families?”

Why would you want to do that? It wouldn’t be the right move for you.”

In fact, I’ve heard it all. They come from well-meaning friends and family to rude strangers in the store. It’s really interesting how many people think it’s important to shut us down when we don’t fit the socially acceptable number of children.

Shoot, I had one person tell me I was ruining my children’s lives, contributing to overpopulation, and being selfish all in the same conversation.

Everyone Has An Opinion On Our Lives

Which is fine. When asked, we share our hopes for a big family. We don’t live in shame of it. We understand there are risks, difficulties, and the potential we will never own a brand new car or a vacation home.

The hardest part is when this comes from family or close friends. It’s like getting stabbed in the back and then having someone offer to pull the knife out by buying you groceries.

It’s an odd place to be in that’s for sure.

Yet, we know where we want to be in life and what we want our life to be about. We know that our calling in life is family. Not climbing the corporate ladder or becoming a millionaire.

Though a million bucks would sure help with all the weddings I’m going to be paying for in the future (laughs nervously).

Why You Will Never Convince Us That A Big Family Is Bad

My wife and I both came from a “nuclear family.” Mom and dad, two kids, and a dog. Literally, we both grew up this way. So we understand that this is plenty normal for most people.

Yet, for us, we love how happy big families can be. Sure, not all are. But our daughters love each other and really are each other best friends.

What I’ve learned most about growing our family is that no matter how different it is from what culture says, we are going to love it. We are going to love the highs and lows with everything in between.

Want to know how I know this?

Because it’s our decision. And we know what we are getting into with having a big family. Not only is it our decision, but we are raising our daughters to see the incredible benefit of a big family.

And if our children decide to have small families in the future, great! I’ll be excited and respectful of their decisions too.

Final Thought

Next time you see a big family in the store and you want to comment, whether positive or negative, remember that they might know what they are doing.

Sure, some don’t. But a lot of big family parents are well aware of what they are getting themselves into and aren’t too worried about crazy cultural expectations.

What about you? Are you a big family or a small family? What’s been your experience? Share in the responses below.