What Characters Do You Give To Others?
By: Lanu Pitan
Tags: Spirituality, Life Lessons, Character, Lifestyle, Spiritual Secrets

What do you have inside of you-violence or peace, death or life, capacity to build or capacity to destroy, hate or love?

Photo by Albert Dera on Unsplash

It was John Wooden, who said,

‘’The test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.’’

This, in essence, means the character is everything. We mean what he is really, without any external pretence. What a man is, moulds his destiny. That is, what we deem to be our destiny is moulded by our character. So what is your character, and what impression or messages are you giving to others? Are you honest and reliable in your dealing with others?

How Do You Treat Others?

How we treat others, especially the less privileged members of society has a lot to say about us. If we are good, we will treat others with respect irrespective of who they are. Some of us believe we should only respect those who are older, or in a position of authority over us.

‘’The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good and how he treats people who can’t fight back.’’ Abigail Van Buren

We do this ignoring those less privileged or our subordinates, forgetting that our fate can be tied up with anyone, the high and the mighty or the lowliest of the low. God can use anyone in life to positively bless us. We should remind ourselves of the golden rule that says:

‘’Treat others as you would like to be treated.’’

It interprets to practice empathy, kindness and a willingness to help others. Eliminate prejudice, criticism, and unnecessary control over others. Rise above retaliation. Treating others this way gives a person tremendous satisfaction which ultimately leads to deep inner happiness. This is a spiritual secret.

If we strive harder in the practice of the above, it is easier to pray with a clear conscience and humility believing that our path will be illumined.

8 Characters That Show Our Positive Values

There are some characters that stand out, and when we have them, it gives us the advantage of being transparent and honest.

1. Integrity

The synonyms for integrity is honesty, uprightness and honour. It is having a strong moral value and living in dignity and straight-forwardness. It should permeate all aspect of our lives, and it is a choice of consistently choosing the purity of truth over falsehood, always and every time.

Legend had it that the great wall of China was built by Emperor Qin Shi Huang (c 259–210 BC), mainly to keep the barbarians Mongolians out of China. During the first 9 years, the Chinese were invaded three times by these Mongolians. They didn’t have to climb any wall, they came in through the gates. How? By bribing the guards. You see they built the walls, but they forgot to build characters.

‘’In vain we built the city if we do not first build the man.’’ Edward Markham

A person with integrity will speak out against injustice, take a stand with others and let all know about what exactly is going on.

2. Self-Respect

Is an important aspect of a person’s character. It defines who you are as well as your values. A person with self-respect has his boundaries in dealing with other people and protects those boundaries vigorously by not allowing others to step on his toes. If they do, he points it out immediately.

He maintains this boundary by respecting others as well, giving them their honours and dues. So in respectively, he receives the same from others. We have to differentiate self-respect with ego and pride. They are quite different and opposite.

‘’Respect yourself and others will respect you.’’ Confucius

3. Kindness

Is related to empathy. This is putting yourself in a position of others, creating direction and reciprocal friendship that sustains over time. It is uplifting others to achieve their potentials. People relate to anyone with kindness because of their willingness to help.

‘’Whatever there is a human need, there’s an opportunity for kindness and to make a difference.’’ Kevin Heath.

Kind people make others feel included, as they forge a connection they need for growth and stability.

4. Courage

A person who exhibits courage must have overcome any inner conflict, rejection and humiliation of any kind. These attributes make people look up to him. A courageous person is focussed in achieving personally and also interested in carrying others along.

‘’Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision’’ Winston Churchill.

5. Flexibility

A person who is flexible is willing to change course for the benefit of all concerned. He is not rigid but rather willing to explore other options open to him. Such a character is admirable especially when plans are not working, he is able to compromise and seek workable solutions.

‘’Flexibility is the key to stability.’’ John Woods

A person with such an important character will promote growth, They are not, therefore, controlling or dogmatic who blindly wants everything to go his way.

6. Perseverance

Perseverance in a way is linked to forging ahead with courage, despite the challenges ahead. It is a virtue of committed individuals. People who are committed to goals usually are the ones who persevere, because they want to finish what they started.

‘’Great works are performed, not by strength but by perseverance’’ Samuel Johnson

They are not put off by failure, always willing to gain new insights by exploring all possible avenues. They are focused on results, and not daunted by setbacks or delays.

7. Humility

Humility is being able to relate to everyone irrespective of their social standing. Merriam-Webster defines it as ‘’freedom from pride and arrogance.’’

‘’True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.’’ Socrates

The father of knowledge, Socrates said despite all learning, we still do not know anything, so we must all be humble. Humility is true freedom.

8. Self-Discipline

This virtue encompasses all virtue. Whatever one does should be in moderation. Excess of anything is bad. A disciplined individual comports himself well under any circumstances. He knows what his limits are, and he abides with them.

‘’Self-discipline is what separates the winners and the losers.’’ Thomas Peterfly

He stays ahead of knowledge to enable him to interacts with and impacts on others. He carries himself well, to receive and give respect to others.

Take Away

What are we saying in essence here is that we should endeavour to inhibit good characters in our daily life and activities, especially in dealing with others.

Build relationships, and don’t forget that God will always use man.

How we deal with others, shows how we are ourselves in that it is a reflection of who we are, which in turn can pave the way for either blessings or a curse. Everything in the world is intertwined and interrelated, whether we believe in this or not. A good character is not optional.

There is no amount of spiritual penance that can substitute for character. Sometimes you need character, not prayer. Thomas Macaulay, a British writer and politician, (1800–1859), once said,

‘’The measure of a man’s character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out.’’

What he meant, in essence, is that what will make or unmake a man in life is his character. It is his character that will open or close a door for him. It all depends on what he wants to give out, hate or love.

The greatest fraud in life is a religion without character. A man without a good character is living a reckless life.

And no man is an Island. We should always do our best, and the immutable and unchangeable laws operative in creation will always compensate us.

Think about this. Always give out the best in you, always, all the time, every time.