THE “ME” TIME
By: Victor Olanrewaju Olaitan
Tags: Self Discovery, Imagination, Solitude, Self Developement, Creative Thinking

Patricia Highsmith wrote, “My imagination functions much better when I don’t have to speak to people.” Joshua Slocum also wrote in “Sailing Alone around the World”, “I had already found that it was not good to be alone, and so made companionship with what there was around me, sometimes with the universe and sometimes with my own insignificant self; but my books were always my friends, let fail all else.”

When I was a little boy, I remember I spent most of my time being alone. I was like a misfit; no friends in school and definitely not in the neighborhood. A square peg trying to fit into a round hole, a lone ranger. I hated it.

I had grown with my father’s teachings and disciplines as a typical African father teaching his child the way of the world according to his own purview. In his opinion, one should have little friends (which means no friend) as they could lead you to evil things. He backs it up with the biblical quote in 1 Corinthians 15:35 that says “…evil communication corrupts good manners” and the book of Proverbs 1:10 that says “My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.” There’s another in Ephesians 6:1 that says “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Well, I was a good child. I listened. But I was lonely.

A growing up child needs to occupy his time with something. So I developed interest for books. They became my friends and constant companion. Delving into the worlds of heroes and villains, adventures, magic, love, arts, you name it. I read anything. And books began to fill my head. And in no time, I developed a hyperactive imagination. I was no longer lonely.

I began to crave that “me’ time so I can be left alone with my mental movie and I get them aplenty in my father’s photo studio when he goes out seeking customers. When I read, I no longer see the letters but images. Reading became like watching a live movie right in front of me. I know what writers see, what they think and feel when I read their works, their hopes,, desires and dreams, reading between the lines, catching jokes where none could see it; the power of the ‘imaginator’. I still craved for friends, but I was still different. For none could think like me.

Now that I am grown, I realized what I had passed through as a child and came to see that those times alone in my father’s studio paid off. I have made friends over the years and cherished them. I enjoyed the companionship and the camaraderie. But having friends and being in their midst taught me something, that friends can’t remain together forever. And that you can’t think creatively when in the midst of friends because of the distraction. There is a need for that “me” time to think creatively and process and plan ahead for your life because friends will go and you will be back to yourself.

If I had not developed the habits of creative thinking as a child due to the “me” times I had, perhaps I wouldn’t be the kind of man I am today. With friends, you can catch fun and live in the past and the present, but alone, you can live the future and bring it to bear.

Man is naturally a social creature, but a man needs to have a “me” time in order to be able to make a difference when in the midst of friends, family and loved ones. Those times spent in the midst of friends, family and loved ones are not what make you who you are. It is the time you spend alone when you can pray, plan, prepare, mold and discipline yourself to achieve a purpose. To think on how you can steer a boat in the midst of a gale, think on whom you are and who you are meant to be.

Today, I am writer in all genres of literature, a poet, script writer, actor, song composer and inventor (mostly DIY), a diplomat by discipline, a multi-talented, creative and imaginative individual who can function in virtually any field (though dislike mathematics as the numbers can’t give you a good mental picture and philosophy because they are filled with concepts that you can’t understand with images).

If you want to leave an imprint upon the sands of time, dedicate a moment to be alone, to look at life in retrospect and think creatively to better it alongside the lives of your loved ones. When you see the results, you will be upon the stage, an award in your hands, crowds gazing adoringly upon you and a heady sense of fulfillment. The “me” time. Surely, solitude has its benefits.

Finally, Rainer Maria Rilke wrote in the book “Letters to a Young Poet”, “…dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast….” There is a music waiting to play in that moment in time. Will you listen?