They Never Told You How Heartbreak Can Change You Forever —
Tags: Relationships, Breakups, Heartbreak, Relationships Love Dating, Love

Don’t get into any relationships you are uncertain about because they never told you how heartbreak can change you forever.

I haven’t lived long enough to experience many major events of my life. All the major events aren’t traumatic and don’t change me too much. Aside from…

I had naively thought “just try it out, if it doesn’t work, I’ll just break up with him”. It’s never easy to “just” break up with someone. You get attached. He gets attached. Neither of you may want to break it off once you have been together for some time even if you clearly aren’t a good match.

It’s hard to make such a choice that you know it’s good for the both of you but eventually, you do and it hurts. It’ll hurt when you think of what could have been. You may try to stay together and you change for him or he does with you. Neither of you is as happy as you could be.

G etting into a relationship with someone changes you and getting out of it does too.

For instance, I’m not as self-positive and calm as I had been. I think of him at least once per day and once in a few days, I’m reminded of how he made me feel. I became a totally different person because of him. A person who is less patient, more anxious, more stressed, less confident, and more self-critical.

You get some good and some bad out of every relationship. The bad may impact you more negatively than you think it might.

It’s never as clean of a break as we all would like. You get a bit attached like it or not.

Even if you have no desire to get back together with him again, it still does change you.

A break up can feel like parting ways with a loved one who has died. You are mourning the loss.

You may experience a mix of emotions, sadness, guilt, anger, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, desperation, depression, relief, etc. All these emotions will come together in a cacophony you have never seen before and you might feel like you’ve made improvements only to be back to where you started a few days ago.

Mourning for a loss changes us.

At moments in which we should feel happy, we are reminded of the sorrow and loss.

At times when we feel more like ourselves again, we may begin to regress because we were a different person for another we loved.

You may be holding on at least a bit because you are thinking about the slight chance that you might reunite and it causes you to have difficulty returning to be the person you once were.

Perhaps you let all hopes of reunion go, but some parts of you may still feel missing. You may think he took it with him when he left and you’re right. When you look down at your hands, you got pieces of him too.

Slowly, his impact on you may start to fade, years after you have parted ways. It okay to wait for those days.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Explore who you are and who you can be. Discover a better version of yourself you never knew existed. Don’t rush into another relationship.

We should never take a relationship lightly because it’ll change us in ways we can’t yet fathom before we got there.

Focus on yourself, your goals, your career, your habits, etc. Prepare yourself for the right person. They may come into our lives when we least expect it so try to be ready.

The pain will pass but the impacts of a breakup might stay.

You were never the same person you were yesterday and certainly not the same person after a breakup.

Feel as much of that pain as your heart would allow. Don’t try to suppress the pain because it’ll come back to haunt you with greater force. Embrace it, cry it out, talk it out with friends, it’ll get easier. Everyone takes a different amount of time to heal. You never become totally unbroken again. Some cracks will still remain, this is how you know you really tried your best to love him. You gave it all you could.