The Role of Mental Health in Abusive Relationships
By: Dena Write-Solutions
Tags: Abuse, Domestic Violence, Depression, Self Esteem, Mental Health

There seems to be a chicken vs. egg scenario when you talk about abusive relationships and mental health. There is no doubt that abusive relationships take a toll on mental health, but what mental health issues lead to finding yourself in an abusive relationship?

According to Louise Howard, Head of Women’s Mental Health at King’s College Institute of Psychiatry, “there are two things happening: domestic violence can often lead to victim’s developing mental health problems, and people with mental health problems are more likely to experience domestic violence.”

Abusive relationships are complex, filled with dynamics that center around power and control. Exploring the dynamics around mental health issues that lend themselves to staying in an abusive relationship is not victim-blaming. If we can discuss the risk factors in place before the abuse, it is a step forward in preventing domestic violence and emotional abuse.

Normalized Abuse

Far too many people grow up in homes where abuse is normalized. No one had modeled a healthy relationship, leaving them unable to recognize warning signs and risky behaviors. In some circumstances, the abuse is generational, so there is little family or community support for the victim to escape their abuser. After all, it is “just the way things are.”

Low Self-Esteem is Prevalent in Mental Health Disorders

Low self-esteem is an almost invariable result of abusive relationships, but what goes unrecognized is that low self-esteem is often part of the puzzle that leads someone into an abusive relationship. Abusers can spot a lack of self-esteem and often target those with low self-esteem.

Abusers themselves often have low self-esteem, leading them to prey on those they see as weak. Abusers, as mentioned earlier, need power and control, and those with a healthy sense of self and confidence will not conform to an abuser’s need to feel in control at all times.

Depression and other Mental Health Issues Contribute to Domestic Abuse

A study done by King’s College London and the University of Bristol reviewed the data from various studies conducted worldwide. The insights shined a glaring light onto the issue of mental health challenges in abusive relationships.

Both men and women with mental health issues are at an increased risk of experiencing domestic violence. In the comprehensive study, women with depressive disorders were two and a half times more likely to experience domestic violence in their lifetime than those without mental health problems.

The statistics are more alarming for anxiety disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Those with PTSD were close to seven times more likely to experience domestic abuse than those without a mental health disorder.

Men Can be Victims of Relationship Abuse

Internationally, approximately 27 percent of women and 17 percent of men experience abuse at the hands of a partner in their lifetime. The risk of abuse increases for men with mental health disorders. However, it is far less common for men to be the victims of repeated severe domestic abuse.

The numbers may be skewed as men are far less likely to report domestic abuse. Abused men also face an abysmal shortage of resources when attempting to leave an abusive relationship. Most shelters and programs are designed to provide resources for women and children fleeing domestic abuse situations.

Recognizing an Abusive Relationship

Those with a history of mental health issues, especially those who grew up in a family or community that normalized abuse, may struggle to recognize that they are in an abusive relationship.

Teen dating violence is on the rise, and no one is sure how extensive the problem might be. Teens often lack the life experience necessary to determine when a relationship is abusive. According to the CDC, nearly 1 in 11 females and 1 in 15 male high school students report physical violence episodes from dating in the past year. 1 in 9 female high school students report experiencing sexual dating violence in the last year.

Recognizing physical, mental, and sexual abuse in a relationship is crucial to seeking help. Domestic or dating abuse include:

An incident or incidents of controlling, manipulative or threatening behavior

Psychological abuse such as threatening violence or threats of self-harm if the victim does not comply with the wishes of the abuser

Physical violence or threats of physical violence including hitting, kicking, pinching, or using any other form of physical force

Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a person to submit to a sexual act against their will

Stalking is a pattern of repeated unwanted contact or attention that causes a sense of fear

Emotional abuse can be subtle and hard to detect. Some common examples include:

Demanding that all your time be spent together

Attempting to alienate and isolate the partner from friends and family

Criticism and shaming

Accusations of cheating

Name-calling

Body shaming

Telling the abused partner that they are the problem. Abusers often call their victims “crazy,” “unstable,” “materialistic, or “too sensitive.”

Public or private humiliation

Mental health professionals and the medical community need to be aware of the disturbing link between domestic violence and mental health disorders. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline from a safe computer or call 1–800–799-SAFE (7233). You can also call 9–1–1.