Be a Better Listener
By: Julia Brown
Tags: Coaching, Leadership, Leadership Development

Many leadership development courses focus on communication with an emphasis on how to clearly articulate an idea. While this is important, it’s not the only component of communication. Communication is a two-way street — it involves not only articulating your own thoughts but also understanding what others are saying. Effective listening is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be improved through intentional practice.

In his publication, Listening Effectively, John Kline outlines some practical suggestions for how to be a better listener. There are many of the more obvious tips such as taking good notes, making eye contact, and practicing good posture. I have chosen to summarize some of the more unique tips concerning what we think and feel about listening below:

1. Understand the complexities of listening. Listening involves more than simply hearing a message. It also involves understanding and message and, in many cases, remembering that message later. It’s not a passive activity. Think about the components of listening and work to understand them so that you can identify where you can improve.

2. Prepare to listen. This includes three phases: long-term, mid-term, and short-term. In the long-term phase, Kline notes that you need to widen your vocabulary. For coaches and teachers, this means learning new slang terms that may come about. Mid-term preparation involves doing the background research necessary prior to listening such as readings or slides, perhaps reviewing notes from prior meetings. Short-term preparation is immediate readiness — be prepared with pen and paper in hand so that when someone starts talking you are ready to receive.

3. Want to listen. This sounds like a basic suggestion but it’s important to remember. There are many situations in which we might feel like a hostage in a boring presentation, lecture, or even when someone drops by to chat. Going in with this mindset doesn’t do anything to promote effective listening. Reframe the situation in your mind and think about what you stand to gain if you listen well.

4. Delay judgment. Of course, there are situations where you must judge the speaker on the merits of what they are saying. However, typically, when we start judging we stop listening. Try to delay judgment until the end of the message. Make use of pauses between speakers to judge the message once it has been delivered in its entirety.

5. Accept responsibility for understanding. While the speaker bears a large responsibility in communicating a message effectively, listeners also have the responsibility of listening and understanding. Accepting this responsibility and listening with the intention of not just hearing but truly understanding the message is what makes good listeners stand out.

The fact is, good listening evokes trust in a relationship. People can tell when you aren’t really engaged in a conversation. As well, recalling information from previous conversations makes people feel special and heard. There is always room to improve your listening skills. Practice being an effective listener in your interactions today.