The Keystone Cops
By: William, Dollar Bill
Tags: Law Enforcement, Culture, Police, BlackLivesMatter, Sex Workers

The Keystone Cops

Pexels — pixabay

Many years ago, I was visiting a casita at the junction of Roosevelt and Greenpoint Avenues in Q ueens, NY on a mission to take pictures and sell them an ad or two. After shooting an analog roll, I exited to a one-hour photo joint (this was many years ago, obviously) to have the images developed. And when I returned to pick up the photos, a scuffle between two store security guards and a shoplifter broke out in front of the store.

Because the Caribbean store employees wore no uniforms…and the thief was Hispanic, the two cops in the cruiser which pulled up during the altercation were somehow not aware enough to understand the nature of the conflict even though it was clear to me that the two black guys were trying to recover a Duane Reade bag from the Hispanic man.

So how’d the cops handle it? Both drew their pistols and pointed them at the three guys…while one yelled at the top of his lungs “eat the pavement or I’ll kill all you mother fuckers.”

I could barely believe my eyes. I wanted to jump in and yell back at the cops “don’t you see what’s happening here? What’s with the fucking guns?” Instead, I backed off and simply watched figuring I just might catch a bullet for my effort if I didn’t.

And here’s another related story: About three months ago, a phone girl I know was sitting at her new job…just minding her own business…when suddenly the screen monitor for the camera downstairs went red. Through the translucent color, she could barely make out a guy doing something with the lens.

She thought nothing of it at first (though it did seem sort of odd) and went about her business until a minute later, there was a huge crash at the door. Her heart jumped. She thought it was robbers!

“Police! Open up!” screamed a man obviously doing the bashing. “Ok! Ok! Don’t knock the door down,” she yelled back. Yumi (fake name) has been a phone girl for a while and knows how it goes when NYPD busts a joint. But she didn’t know what was about to happen next. When Yumi opened the door, an agent stuck a pistol to her head and told her not to move.

According to their press release, Homeland Security and the Southern District claimed to have been researching this and several other operations for four years…all of which leads me to believe they must have known that these girls weren’t a physical threat to anybody. What? Are they gonna put an agent’s eye out with the snap of a g-string?

In the words of MC Lyte, who once graced the back seat of my taxi…”so whatcha got a gun for?”

Next came an interrogation during which Yumi asked why it was necessary for the agent to stick a gun to her head. He responded that it was for his protection.

All of which made me wonder what the agent would have used if he were busting into a drug operation manned by actual dangerous criminals. A fucking Howitzer? Or maybe an atomic bomb? Would either of those be enough if a pistol to the head of a 4' 10" 90 pound phone girl was appropriate?

The truth is…the likelihood that this house or anybody in it posed any kind of threat to this agent was far less significant than the likelihood that his pistol might misfire and kill the woman he was terrorizing. Yet, I assume that his actions were by the book.

By me, there’s something very wrong here. Since when is it ok to stick a gun to the head of a totally non-threatening woman in a completely non-threatening situation? Because she answers a phone and puts two consenting adults together in an almost antiseptic environment?

I know the police don’t want to die on the job just because they erred on the side of consideration. But when people die because they were holding a cell phone (as happened just a few days ago)? There’s something very wrong with the system.