A THANK YOU Letter to the Man I Don’t Know Who Private Messaged Me About A Spelling Error I Made on a Facebook Post Asking About Internet Speed
By: Cass Bugge
Tags: Feminism, Dumb, Sexism

A THANK YOU Letter to the Man I Don’t Know Who Private Messaged Me About A Spelling Error I Made on a Facebook Post Asking About Internet Speed Cass Bugge Dec 3, 2020·3 min read

my original post

a very cool private message from a man i don’t know

Dear Man I Don’t Know,

Thank you so much for your very helpful advice about how to help get powerful internet in the new home I am moving into. Wow! I did not realize that accidental spelling errors on Facebook could interfere with internet data speed. You really saved me a big headache. I will certainly go back into my post and take the “e” I accidentally placed in “Sedgwick” and then hopefully, I’ll be able to run multiple zoom meetings on my two laptops while I stream all 203 minutes of “The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King” on my iphone. To think I was going through all the trouble of calling multiple providers for the fastest internet speed, when in reality my stupid, idiot misspelling of the town of SEDGWICK was what was stopping everything up. Things certainly work differently here in Maine. In the dumb California town I spend most of the year in, they just kind of give internet to people who pay money and plug stuff in. I so love the fact that all you need to do to get internet here is pass a secret spelling quiz!

I looked at your Facebook profile and was so psyched to see a photo you posted of the late, great justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I am sure she was smiling down on you when you took the initiative to teach me better spelling. My menstrual cycle and inside vagina stuff in general really block my brain from good spelling, so it was truly your duty as a feminist ally to tell me to ‘first take that second ‘e’” out. I wondered when I looked at your profile if perhaps you played a large role in helping Justice Ginsburg get the lightning fast internet she used during her life. I’m not sure how internet access works in White House Town, but if it also includes a spelling test, I bet you helped her in some way, so THANK YOU. I have so many rights because of her, but I bet it all really started with you. She could not have done any of it without e-mail, that is for sure. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am really just so grateful that you took the initiative to help me out, because despite the fact that I did not ask for help, I really wanted help. I have been so worried with all of this female Vice President elect, women in the workplace brouhaha that an old straight white guy like yourself might take it down a peg, but thankfully, you haven’t.

I really hope some day I run into you in town and you remind me to smile more or maybe in a random parking lot you will help me with a parking job I have no problem completing on my own. In the meantime, you have allowed me to experience the internet in the comfort of my own home. There’s a saying you probably believe in your head that goes “behind every smart enough woman is a man she doesn’t know who teaches her how to do stuff without her asking him.” Thank you so much for being that man for me today.

Best,

Cass Bugge***

** I’m pretty sure that’s how I spell my own name, but please let me know if I made a mistake!