The Silent Man
By: Ste Matthews, The Silent Man
Tags: Change, Helping Others, Mental Health, Conversations, Anxiety

I guess you can say that I have lived a life that has suppressed me to the point that, I have all but lost the ability to communicate any issue that has cropped up in my time on this planet. Now, I know you must be thinking well this can happen to anyone and this is true, but for every story you hear, it will be different. This narrative is unique to me, and the impact it has had on my life, and the people who have been involved in it.

This has led me to some dark places and has involved me searching every ounce of my being for an answer from my clouded mind. There have been times where I have been blessed with such euphoria that I could burst, to feelings of such anxiety where I wanted it all to end — suddenly. Over recent times I have struggled considerably with issues that I could not understand and it was having an impact on my life in general and I wanted to free myself from the maze I found myself in, and the profound effect it was having on my life. So I needed to do something about it.

My name is Stephen and I’m a middle-aged man. I’m a person who has had a life that has been hindered by issues that I have encountered along the way. I would like to open up to other men across the globe whether you’re straight, gay, transgender, black, white etc, and I guess my hope is that you may do the same. You are all aware that mental health and the ability for men to openly discuss their problems with anyone is negative and is well documented but here is the thing, what if we could talk about our problems without pressure from family or health professionals, colleagues or bosses? What if you feel that you haven’t got anyone to talk to?

Maybe you feel like me and that through my existence on this planet, I have never really expressed my opinion, shared my angst and pain with other men, or more notably, my friends and family. I am not pretending that this is easy as it is not. I am not a health professional, and I have never practiced the art of providing mental health solutions to others — I feel that in the UK, there is an over-burdened National Health Service that seems to be crumbling due to austerity measures being imposed upon it, and perhaps doesn’t have the resources to provide the help that a lot of people need — more directly, mental health.

My life has been gifted to me but as with us all, it has never run smoothly. My experiences have included alcoholism, death, financial ruin, trauma, relationship breakdowns and attempted suicide and also includes run of the mill ups and downs. But one thing has escaped me throughout, and that is to talk. And as men we don’t talk about relationships, our mental health, problematic children because we don’t…we’re men!

My Vision

To encourage men across the globe to talk about their problems within their domain and share their mental health problems and other issues with others so we can communicate, and perhaps offer help and advice within our own community. We are not health professionals, nor are we going to provide solutions, but we can open up and possibly reduce the impact of mental health related issues in men.

GENTLEMAN’S RULE #14

“Understand and utilize the power of conversation”

— The Gentleman’s Rulebook