Hey!
By: A
Tags: Journal

I’ll start this off by giving you an insight into me from the perspective of well, me. So we can get to know each other. Right now I write this with 0 followers and no reads at all but I’m hoping overtime we will accumulate into a big family. Actually I know we will accumulate into a big family.

So…Hi my name is Jasmine. I live in Africa (but right now praying I’ll be out of the continent in 6 days) Specifically East Africa in a small country called Uganda. It is sometimes described as the pearl of Africa. I’m guessing because the scenery is so beautiful and the people are most times very friendly.

I’ve actually been procrastinating starting this page. I don’t know why…maybe fear of failing? Lack of motivation? Or maybe it’s just flat out laziness. You see…that’s the thing with me. I can be the laziest procrastinator and the most procrastinating lazy person you will ever meet. Sometimes I’ve alluded it to lack of motivation, but this year I realized it might be depression. I’ve never really admitted something like that because in my area of the world, mental health is such a “hush hush” subject. Also the environment I grew up in imposed the kind of attitude whereby even thinking of being depressed is a sign of weakness and unbelief. To say I avoided admitting such a thing would be an understatement. But 2020? It’s been the year that might spiritual vision and mental vision became 20/20. You can say that I’ve been forced to realize a lot about myself.

Anyway I’m 19 going on 20 soon. And I’m a strong strong believer in Christ. He is my friend, my rock, my love, my savior, my hero… I could go on and on. (I will go on and on in the next few posts)

Anyway, I plan on making this page a diary of sorts or more like a journal. I have decided not to really spill much about the people in my personal life so it won’t really be a diary. This will probably be like a self discovery project for me and I hope to take you all along with me. Of course it would really help if you followed me so you can keep track.

Well anyway back to describing myself. I love film(recently found out it’s very cringe when people say that but sorry I can’t help it). I also love movies but not just any movie, I like literal works of art. Great dialogue, great camera action, great actors great storylines (I guess you can now foresee what I’m going to say next)

I want to work in the film industry. I believe that the one thing that I can say I’m great at without caring if I sound like I’m showing off or feeling like I’m making people feel small is storytelling. I love it.

So so much, and so yes, I would love to direct a movie or more specifically a film. The effect some films have on me are indescribable(in a good way most times) and I want to make something that has the same effect on people.

I’m also very much in love with books and I remember a time in my life when I had a new novel in my hand every week. I fell off but I’m getting into it again. I’ve made a bucket list and everything( who knows, I might even give a review of my favorite when I’m done going through the list)

I love music. I can sing too. Wow it feels weird to say it pointedly. I’ve always felt like I needed to hide it so I gave people less things to rile on me about.

Some might call me a social butterfly, but really I’m an introvert. It’s just that I talk too much when I’m around people. I guess because lack of conversation makes me think that they are too busy disliking the mere fact that I’m present to create a conversation. So I talk and talk and talk to fill the space so they can only take me apart when I’m out of sight. Sad right. But now that I think of it, just imagine sitting there and watching someone note down every single flaw of yours in their head but not say anything out loud because, well for whatever reason. Hurts no?

On that note, I feel the need to mention how this year I found out there is such a thing as an Imposter syndrome. I’m pretty sure I have it, and mine is the real deal you know, not diagnosed but I can hear the voices in my head, see the scenarios that torment me so hard that I begin to think they are real. I can sit there and stare into space thinking about how you might just stand up and hit me because you are tired of looking at my face.

Nevertheless… I’m sure there’s a lot about myself that I’ve left out, we will dissect them together in the future. But for now, this is all I can muster. Oh! I also wanted to say that now and then I’ll write small fictional passages. I’m quite good at those. I’ll use this platform for practice either way. Also I very well might change my name because I’m preparing to write my deepest feelings on here, if someone I knew exposed me…well that would be horrible.

Until I form a posting schedule,

Goodbye for now❤️