You’re In the Way
By: Dashayna Brown
Tags: Self-awareness, Discipline, Change Your Life, Accountability, Goal Setting

It sucks to feel like life isn’t working in our favor or that we aren’t able to achieve our goals. It’s easy to find people and things to blame when we find ourselves falling short. Of course we all have barriers in life that interfere with our progress (some more than others, privilege check). We may be slowed down, we may be blocked, and we we may even be stopped by these barriers. Acknowledging them is one thing, creating excuses out of these barriers is another. For example; you left for work at the last minute you could before the possibility of being late but now theres traffic and the traffic ends up making you 15 minutes late. You could say it was the traffic because in reality, the traffic did slow you down! But if you really want to be honest with yourself, you’ll admit you should’ve left earlier. More times than not, it’s that simple, we’re in our own way. Shifting blame and making excuses are much easier alternatives than accepting we may have played a hand in our own shortcomings (ouch). Putting forth effort in understanding this concept allows us to take our power back. It allows us to reframe our experience.

Taking accountability for what we did or did not do when it comes to the course of our lives can be tough. It takes integrity to admit we are in our own way. It is an enlightening realization but more importantly a humbling one. We shift our language from “you, they, it, or that” to “me or I”. Circling back to ourselves puts the ball in our court. It becomes our move, our go. Accountability to self means acknowledging the role we play(ed). We can focus on our own actions this way and assess what needs to change.

Accountability encourages change but to change we need discipline. This has been a word I’ve struggled with for a long time, unfortunately. This year it is an action I am committing to no matter how often I may struggle with it. Discipline creates stability. We need it to be consistent in getting from one destination to the next. Imagine playing a video game and its time to pick your fighter, you have the option to choose discipline or motivation (mind you these are characters lol). Which do you choose? Motivation sounds great because we think of enthusiasm, desire, and initiative. But discipline will take the win. Why? Because discipline reminds us that slow and steady wins the race. Discipline remains consistent, unwavering, and dedicated. To bring it back to ourselves, we aren’t always going to feel motivated or inspired but we can always be disciplined despite that.

Just think to yourself for a moment, what do I want? Am I living a life I love? We need to know the answers to these questions. How do we view our goals and desires in life? What do we think of them? If the answers aren’t what we want them to be we need a plan to change that. Thinking and wishing of change is just that, thinking and wishing. Creating a plan means taking steps forward, taking action. One step forward means being one-step closer than we were. Planning makes our thoughts real. It creates possibility.

Once we figure out those answers and create our plans we need to promise ourselves not to settle. If we’ve decided, why settle on anything less? Commit to the decision, to the dream, to the goal. We’re not accepting ‘almost, close, or this will do’. Selling ourselves short by settling for less leads to mediocrity (*shrugs*). I don’t know too many people who enjoy being mediocre by choice. Doubt has a way of bullying us into the settling corner though. It has a way of making us believe we don’t deserve, like we’re asking for too much, or aiming too high. It usually brings it’s other bully friend fear along too. But 10/10 doubt and fear aren’t as big and bad as they convince us they are. They’re wrong. Faith will prove doubt wrong every time. If we believe in ourselves, our abilities, and capacity to create that which we desire; doubt shrinks. Fear shrinks. They may even disappear. Then we’re only left with optimism and opportunity.

Life has a funny way of reminding us of what’s important, or what should be, rather. It’s honestly too short to do anything less than what we absolutely love. We deserve to do what fulfills us and to live our best lives! But, we have to get out of our own way. We have to take accountability, create plans, be disciplined, and be diligent in creating the realities we desire. It’s our world. We take our power back when we shift our perspective and really get honest with ourselves. Don’t let life pass you by and have you pointing every which way. The happenings of life will be out of our control often, no doubt, but choosing to take initiative in how we maneuver it is always in our power.