Should You Be Able to Marry a Sex Doll?
By: Ash Jurberg
Tags: Sex, Sexuality, Relationships, Humor, Love

Should You Be Able to Marry a Sex Doll?

A weird love story that isn’t as rare as you may think

Bodybuilder marries sex doll after long-term romance.

As I scrolled the morning news, trying to avoid politics and COVID, both of which make me sick, this headline stood out.

I almost spit out my morning coffee. What the hell? There seemed a lot to unpack here. Was it important that the guy was a bodybuilder? Was a long term romance required before he could pop the question? And is it legal to actually marry a sex doll?

So many questions. Worried I would doom myself forever and be served up wild and freaky internet ads for eternity, I clicked on the story. To save you from getting the same pop-up ads I have condemned myself to, let me summarise the story.

Yuri Tolochko, a bodybuilder from Kazakstan, proposed to his sex doll girlfriend, Marta in December 2019 after dating for several months. He has kept his 50,000 Instagram followers updated on his relationship over this time, posting such pearls of wisdom as, “Couples need to talk less and connect more. With time and experience, Margo and I realised that it takes more than words to have a conversation.”

Yuri says he met Margo at a nightclub and he posts travel photos like any regular couple would. There are snaps of him and Margo in Bali and Thailand. His posts also include updates on their sex life which are best not discussed in this article. Unfortunately, like any real person, Margo suffered negative comments about her appearance, and they decided she needed to undergo cosmetic surgery. I guess even dolls feel peer pressure.

They were legally married by a civil celebrant in front of dozens of guests and had a reception and a ‘romantic’ first dance. All of it seems like a publicity stunt or something dreamed up by another famous Kazakh, Borat, but Yuri claims it is true love. He identifies as pansexual and says he can fall in love with “a character, an image, a soul”.

So what started as a humorous look at a weird article has led to me researching this attraction to inanimate objects and asking if it’s OK to marry them?

What is the attraction?

Yes, there is a name for this. Object sexuality or objectophilia refers to “those individuals who develop deep emotional and/or romantic attachments to (and have relationships with) specific inanimate objects or structures.” These people believe they have a truly equal relationship with the object. And it seems there are plenty who have followed in Yuri’s footsteps.

Famous attractions have become famous “attractions” with both the Eiffel Tower and the Berlin Wall being the object of desire. Erika LaBrie, a two-time world archery champion, fell in love at first sight with the Eiffel Tower in 2004. She “married” the Tower in 2007, changing her name to Erika Eiffel. (Before this she was in a relationship with the bow she used in her archery competition, called Lance.)

Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, founder of Object Sexuality International, was married to the Berlin Wall for over 30 years. She had a 1:20 size model that she took to bed, complete with barbed wire which must have made sex with her partner difficult. When the (real) wall came down in 1989, she was devastated believing her husband had been mutilated. She even blamed Knight Rider actor David Hasselhoff for her husband’s destruction, saying, “shame on you David Hasselhoff — you are nothing without that talking car.”

As I went down the rabbit hole that this search came up with, there were a wide variety of objects in relationships. From train stations to trees to the Statue of Liberty to rollercoasters. It was not as rare as I had first thought. At least in Yuri’s case he can travel with his partner, marrying such a large immobile object really does limit the options for dates.

‘Excuse me; I’d like to make a booking for two. Can we have a table big enough to accompany a 300-foot tall lady with a torch?’

Guys and Dolls

I came across a documentary called Silicone Soul, which tells the stories of men and women who fall in love with silicone dolls. They call themselves iDollators. Although none of these marriages are deemed legal, the humans in them certainly believe they are legitimate. There tends to be a blurring of the lines between fantasy and reality. Some are fully aware their partners are dolls, while some truly believe they are real.

One participant, John, who is ‘married’ to a doll named Jackie, says, ‘Real dolls don’t cheat. They don’t lie. They don’t steal … She keeps me honest. She keeps me happy. She’s just so calm and so collected and so much more mature than me. We’re married like any other married couple.”

It seems that some of these relationships aren’t just sexual. In fact, just like a real marriage, many claim the sex peters out, and often ends completely. And what is left is just the emotional relationship. A few have been married to humans previously or as they call them, “organic,” before moving into their current relationships.

Luckily most of their friends and family are supportive of their sexual preferences, although some have been outcast. There are support groups and meetups that they attend. The movie shows John taking Jackie to the zoo on a regular outing, and the staff there don’t bat an eyelid, as they are used to it. They have come to accept the relationship as they would any other. It is just another couple on a date. One just happens to be carrying the other around, Weekend at Bernie's style.

Should the marriages be legal?

With almost half of marriages in the US ending in divorce, should marriages such as the ones mentioned be legal? I would assume the divorce rates would be far lower given one party is inanimate and unable to cheat, argue or lie.

David Levy, the president of the International Computer Games Association, and author of Love and Sex with Robots, predicts in his book that such weddings will be legal by 2050. To me, this seems very unlikely, but given the improvements in artificial intelligence by then these dolls will be even more lifelike and harder to distinguish between real or not. The focus will be less on the sexual aspect and more on creating the simulation of an intellectual and emotional relationship.

Could it become the solution for people who are lonely and want companionship- real or not?