Jeffrey Epstein Killed Himself
By: William, Dollar Bill
Tags: Pedofilia, Jeffrey Epstein, Crime, Culture, Prison

Jeffrey Epstein Killed Himself

photo by author

In today’s topsy-turvy world, conspiracy theories abound in all realms. Q-anon subscribers actually think members of the Democratic party traffic and sexually abuse children. Millions of citizens are convinced Trump was cheated out of a second term in office! So it shouldn't come as a major shock that an army of people think Jeffrey Epstein was murdered. He wasn’t. And here’s how I know:

To meet me, most people would think I’m an educated, articulate, informed individual. Maybe a little eccentric. I’ll grant you that. But certainly not a person who spent a year in federal prison. But I did — for not paying my taxes — and making a lot of money in a penumbral business (as an advertising agency which sold escort ads for the Village Voice and New York Magazine among others).

The United States of America has a penchant for imprisoning criminals who don’t really pose a threat to the community. Fully 25% of the world’s inmates are incarcerated by a country that boasts only 5% of the world's total population. And that country is the USA. In most other nations, I’d have been forced to pay my bill (which I was in spades) and left to go on my way. But here? A year and a day!

Because I live in Downtown Manhattan and was what prison officials call a short-timer (only a year), I was designated to serve that year at MCC federal prison, an administrative facility with all level of offenders — rather than getting shipped off to Otisville with the likes of Michael Cohen, where I could be housed with white-collar criminals like myself.

Getting incarcerated in what has become an infamous facility (it was a pretty serious shithole) had a silver lining. Because the prison is smack-dab in Downtown Manhattan, several infamous inmates have been detained there. Bernie Kerik? El Chapo? DMX the rapper? Check.

I didn’t meet them. But I did have Paul Manfort as my celly for a while. And while Paulie and I enjoyed each other’s company in 60 square feet, I worked suicide watch and spent multiple hours in the exclusive company of Jeffrey Epstein. Talk about lifestyles of the rich and infamous! I was right in the middle of two different episodes simultaneously.

(If you’re curious about my interactions with both inmates, I’ll include embeds at the end of this story. Allow me not to digress so I can get to the point.)

On a Saturday morning about a week after Jeffrey had left his suicide cell and been returned to the SHU (special housing unit), we awakened to a general lockdown. “What the fuck, dude?” I asked the CO who came to my cell to break the news.

“Your boy killed himself,” said the CO who knew I’d been watching Epstein and was aware I was about the best friend Jeffrey had at the prison. “There’s government agents all over the building. You guys can’t come out.”

And so…it was bologna and cheese sandwiches with chips on the side for the next two days. Such is prison life.

Rumors swirled all over the prison as well as the entire world. Had Jeffrey killed himself — or was he murdered in a successful attempt to muzzle him? Conspiracy theories abounded. And it kind of made sense. He most likely had knowledge of the sexual proclivities of a lot of influential people. And the government wanted his cooperation — as the government generally does.

Personally, I wasn’t buyin’ it (that he was murdered). MCC is a very secure facility. Even El Chapo couldn’t escape! I just didn’t see how a murder could have taken place without several conspirators participating. And under interrogation, that proposed conspiracy would break down quickly.

Yes, it seemed suspicious that officers didn’t make their rounds, and cameras were defective, and Jeffrey was left alone in his cell when the warden knew he was suicidal. But if you were an inmate at MCC for any period of time, you would be painfully aware that the prison and its employees fucked up routinely. The place was an administrative nightmare. Not a lot of officials who came to observe would dispute that statement. In fact, a few CO’s confessed to me that MCC was by far the worst prison they’d ever worked.

But more than MCC’s penchant for fucking everything up was an inmate named Brown’s testimony. Brown was a major moron who worked in the kitchen with me (yes, I had two jobs in prison).

One day while we were waiting to descend to the food service area, I read Thomas Jefferson’s deleted paragraph from our Declaration of Independence in which he condemned the British for ever bringing Africans to the New world. (MCC had a decent library and I had checked out a book which contained that passage.) Brown was impressed with my knowledge and enlightenment and latched onto me as a friend.

Back to Brown being a moron: The dude actually tried to set up a drug deal with somebody on the outside using the monitored email program to which the prison allowed its inmates access to contact their friends and families (for 6 cents per minute).

The operative word being “monitored,” Brown was apprehended and sent to the SHU, the area where rulebreakers and those seeking protective custody were both housed.

After Brown was released back to general population, he came up to me in the common area and informed me “Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. I had the cell next to him and spoke with him the night he died. I heard him tearing up sheets at 4 AM! Nobody came in or out of the tier for the entire night. He definitely killed himself.”

Brown had no agenda in telling me this save his wanting me to know the truth. He knew I’d been watching Jeffrey down at suicide and thought I’d want to know the real story. At that moment, I knew my intuition was correct.

So if you think Jeffrey Epstein was murdered to ensure his silence? Give it up. Epstein killed himself. Nobody did the job for him. Once his bail appeal was denied, that was about it. I could sense he lost hope after that. His suicide didn’t totally surprise me.

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