About Me — Saskia V. “I get knocked down, but I get up…
By: Saskia V
Tags: About Me, 12 Step Program, Romance, Britain, Epictetus

About Me — Saskia V

From left: My BFF, a handsome man, and me

I celebrated my 50th birthday in 2020 — in two separate rooms connected by video because of coronavirus regulations. So, I grew up in England in the 1970s. As observed in the BBC drama Life on Mars, it was a different planet. Everyone smoked everywhere, and we frolicked unrestrained in the backs of cars or on buses.

Schools didn’t have anti-bullying policies, and corporal punishment was allowed. “Spare the rod” attitudes lingered and shaming was thought beneficial. The song “Baggy Trousers” by Madness sums up school life in Britain in the 1980s. I wished I could have gone to Grange Hill, the eponymous school of the TV series, but sadly it was fictitious.

Fiction and music were my great escapes. I’ve also traveled widely, including around the Soviet Union as the sun was setting on it; I studied Russian at university. I’ve always had a talent for learning languages and have worked as a translator and editor, but I’m a writer at heart.

In the Amsterdam Hortus Botanicus, July 2020

My goal is to finish and publish my novels Love from a Zombie and Love in the Lagoon — shifter romances. Here on Medium, I particularly enjoy stories about psychedelic therapy and about mental health. I will write about my own experiences, for example, about what it’s like to have a child with BPD who has often been suicidal.

In connection with the effects of family members’ illnesses, I participated for a time in 12-step programs like Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics. I found those supportive at first, but after some years, I realized they were not helpful. I will write about the many reasons for this on Medium. More information about the downsides of those programs needs to get out there as it seems hard to find.

Dawn

It was a tremendous relief to move on from all the victim blaming and explore diverse avenues of personal growth. I’m an experienced meditator with a longstanding passion for Buddhism and Eastern philosophy. I’m fascinated by Taoism and stoic wisdom. I’ve learned so much from a vast range of books; I will write about this and various life lessons.

One thing I’ve learned for sure is that there are no silver bullets. You can’t count on calm waters — it’s about riding the waves. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters, as Epictetus said. Sometimes that’s the only thought I can hold onto when things get rough.

Some of my obstacles come from within. Perimenopause has brought jackhammer migraines. I do try standard preventive techniques, while sharing migraineurs’ frustration with these. I’m thinking about consulting a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner about headaches and the years of change. I will write about my discoveries. I seem to have found an effective remedy for the pain-induced nausea.

As you see, I’m full of ideas, and reject all notions of being over the hill when so much potential remains. Setbacks, I’ve had a few. But so far from being a victim, I live to own my power. I may get knocked down, but I get up again.