4 Ways High-Quality Mentorship Can Deeply Impact Your Life
By: Angie Mohn
Tags: Personal Development, Productivity, Mentorship, Life, Success

#2 Mentorship Fuels Inspiration

“The key to being a good mentor is to help people become more of who they already are, not to make them more like you” — Suze Orman

High-quality, transformational mentors provide support and inspiration.

High-quality mentors see things that we can’t otherwise see in ourselves. They help guide people to become more of who they already are; meaning, they pull out and encourage you to be the best and most successful version of you.

Transformational mentorship acts to motivate the mentee to see things and take action, to think and act bigger, to go beyond the expectations and limits set in the mind of the mentee.

Transformational mentorship does not use tricks or play mind-games with the mentee, which is typically found in transactional mentorships.

Transactional mentorships are the complete opposite of transformational mentorships. Transactional mentorships look for a specific transaction to take place, typically where the mentor wants to look or feel good about helping someone.

Transactional mentorships tend to leave the mentee more confused and ask the question “where do I stand in this learning relationship”. This type of mentorship is not high-quality, nor is it positive.

Unfortunately, I have experienced transactional mentorship. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. In fact, the experience left me more confused and discouraged. Yet it provided me with a very profound life lesson.

In my experience, I reached out and asked someone for guidance and help on a topic I was having difficulty understanding. I was encouraged by a close friend to find a “mentor who will help you with your questions”.

Sure, that makes sense.

First, this was a big step for me because I don’t typically reach out to people (hello, introvert). Second, I should’ve listened to my inner GPS, because it felt weird from the very beginning.

But I suppressed my gut feeling, tried to keep an open mind, and went along with selecting the mentor anyway, as she was happy to help guide and answer my questions. And I guess I was just happy to have found someone to provide the guidance I needed, based on her experience and what she “sold” me.

Little did I know the background noise and turmoil my chosen mentor was experiencing in her own life at the time. This did not help the situation at all.

If you are reaching out to someone and asking for mentorship, make sure they are stable and in a good head-space. Do not opt for someone who is bringing along their own baggage to the mentorship. Eventually, I became nothing more than a sounding-board for her own frustrations and problems.

In the end, the person I originally selected to be a mentor “ghosted” me; meaning, she completely disappeared off the face of the map with no words at all. No explanation, no text, no phone call, no email, nothing. Gone.

The last words I said to her were in a text message that said something to the effect of “let me know your schedule, looking forward to talking to you soon.”

And gone. That was back in April 2020. Not a peep or blip since.

Transformational mentors do not ghost their mentees. They simply don’t behave in this manner at all.

But transactional mentors do. They take and give very little in return (hence, the transaction part).

As I have come to learn, this type of relationship is not good-quality mentorship, let alone high-quality. And it’s certainly not inspirational.

My profound life lesson here is to not ask just anyone for guidance or mentorship. And when your body gives you a certain reaction, listen to it. It’s there for a reason.

Mentorships are meant to be helpful, insightful, and inspiring. High-quality and transformational mentorships have successful people at the helm.

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

#3 Mentorship Develops Future Leaders

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself” — Oprah Winfrey

High-quality mentorship provides room and opportunities for personal growth and development. In some cases, both mentor and mentee can grow and learn from one another.

Transformational mentors groom their mentees for success. They groom others for success in training, success in leading, then sustaining their success, and then eventually mentoring others the way they’ve been mentored. It’s a process.

Transformational mentors don’t just teach, they transform (hence the word ‘transformational’). They help others along their path and are invested in the mentee for the long-haul. Oftentimes, these are lifelong relationships.

Every transformational mentorship I have learned about, read about, heard about from others is lifelong. The transformational mentor doesn’t jump ship when they feel their work is complete.

It’s actually quite the opposite… they remain involved in the mentee's life in some way.

Do you need to personally know someone in order to be mentored by them?

No. While your mentor can be someone you know personally, it can also be someone you’ve never met. But you must learn valuable lessons from their example, and take action to achieve results in your life.

I have a life coach that I’ve never personally met. Yet her lessons and principles have transformed my life. I’ve been greatly impacted to make such a positive change. Her teachings are invaluable to me and will remain in my life.

In fact, I have 3 high-quality mentors I’ve never personally met (however, I have communicated to 2 of them via email). Yet their work impacts how I function so I can live my best life and be successful in all my future endeavors.

Because of the teachings of my 3 high-quality mentors, I’ve been able to produce results that I would never have been capable of producing on my own.

In doing some research for this article, here’s a few examples of some highly successful people having transformational mentors in their life:

Steve Jobs mentoring Mark Zuckerberg

Maya Angelou mentoring Oprah Winfrey

Warren Buffett mentoring Bill Gates

Socrates mentoring Plato (I read about this one in one of my graduate textbooks). Plato was a student of Socrates.

Audrey Hepburn mentoring Elizabeth Taylor

Sir Freddie Laker mentoring Richard Branson

This is just a brief list to illustrate that even the most successful people in business and leadership have mentors!

I hope this provides some inspiration to you as well.