Catherine’s Birth
By: Alex Hancock
Tags: Baby, Birth

Claire and Catherine after the birth

Claire woke me at 1 AM. She spoke with a soft voice, in an otherwise completely quiet bedroom and explained to me that her water had broken an hour before and she was experiencing real contractions. I got up.

I texted the on-call midwife, Kelly, at the San Francisco Birth Center and let her know. She and Claire had spoken on the phone an hour before, but I carried out all further communications while Claire labored.

I also texted our doula Jordan who gave me a lot of useful advice in the days leading up to the birth and during the labor. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic and social distancing, we were not able to have Jordan present at the birth but she helped me to help Claire.

A text message exchange about Claire going into labor

As shown in the messages, I timed some of the contractions. I also had a lot of other things to do. I would sit with Claire and time some contractions, and then break away to get other things done.

I ran a hot bath. Claire went back and forth between lying on our bed and sitting in the tub for two hours. We were making progress and her experience was becoming more intense. She vomited. Once, and then again. Kelly told me to get our bags ready and come in when it felt right. She needed twenty minutes notice. Kelly later told me that when I told her Claire had vomited, that was when she knew our birth would happen soon.

I made sure Claire had everything she needed for the moment, got everything out to the car, pulled it out of the garage, and then came back inside. We were not completely sure it was the right time to go to the Birth Center, but I thought it may be. I suggested we give Kelly the 20 minute notice and get ready to go. Claire said we should wait a little while. We did. After some time we both felt like it was time to go and I let Kelly know.

The drive took all of four or five minutes. The moonlight was bright and there were no other cars as we crossed the intersection of Bush St and Presidio Ave atop a hill we often walk over in our neighborhood. I made sure Claire had enough pillows for the ride over.

Kelly opened the garage door for us. I pulled inside and parked. Kelly and Claire went inside straight away and I followed them up with our bags.

Kelly checking on Claire soon after we arrived at the Birth Center. Kelly wore a mask due to COVID-19.

Kelly checked Claire’s vitals and performed a cervical exam to determine how far along in the first stage we were. Claire and I had talked about whether she would want to know the number of centimeters dilated she was upon arriving. We decided over dinner several weeks before that she would not want to know this number in the moment. Depending on what the number is, it can either be motivating or discouraging. As Kelly checked to see how dilated she was, she asked if we wanted to know the number. I saw emotion in Claire’s face and she said “I don’t want to know, I just want to know if I can stay”. Kelly replied quickly with empathy and kindness in her voice “You can stay… yes. You’re doing great”. “Ok” Claire replied as she laid her head back down.

Shortly after, Kelly went to retrieve something in the lobby and I followed. I wanted to know the dilation number even though Claire did not. This is something we had discussed about beforehand, that it may be helpful for me to know as the birth partner. Claire was seven centimeters dilated. The labor was progressing well and Kelly told me that we had come at the right time.

We walked to the birth room and I unpacked our things. Kelly ran the bath for Claire. They have large tubs that fill in a couple of minutes. Claire got in and felt some relief from the water.

Kelly checking Catherine’s heart tones as Claire labored in the middle of the night

Claire alternated between laboring in the tub and the bed. She labored silently with her eyes closed, working through each contraction in a way that was internal to her. I was there providing a sip of water between every contraction. She looked very focused and relaxed, and I told her this. She told me that she only looked that way and that it was very difficult.

She never asked for any kind of pain relief or voiced any doubt that she could birth our baby.

Kelly performed another check and things were going well. She reached inside and felt Catherine’s head. She asked Claire to tell her when she felt the urge to push. When Claire felt the urge to push, Kelly told us she would stay in the room for the rest of the labor.

When Claire started pushing it seemed to me a little different from the contractions in the first stage but not any more or less intense. Kelly let us know that Serena had arrived, another midwife who would assist when it came closer to time for the birth.

The pushing contractions grew in intensity. Claire began to make more sounds than before and it was clearly extremely difficult. She remained the same focused person I saw during the first stage of labor. It was hard but she was working through it in a way that was beautiful and strong.

Kelly listened to Catherine’s heart tones again. This time, she told us Claire needed to get out of the tub and get into a different position on the bed. She did.

With each push from Claire, Catherine was closer to being born. Her heart tones were problematic in certain positions and we made changes to keep them in a normal range.

As Catherine’s head made its way further down the birth canal, her heart tones continued to show some irregularity. The midwives assured us that they were going to listen to more frequently now and things would be OK.

As Catherine’s head made its way out, there were intense moments where Claire’s eyes opened wide for the first time in labor. She looked surprised and shocked, but remained focused and strong. I felt the power of what was happening to both Claire and Catherine.

We were close to Catherine being fully born. The midwives told Claire to push, break to do a full breath out and in, and then push again — hard. As Catherine’s head was most of the way out, we began to hear irregularity in her heart tones again. The midwives discussed calling EMTs in case we needed further medical assistance. One of them stepped away to make that call. The other midwife let us know that Claire needed to get out of the bed, squat and try to push Catherine out at that time. I took Claire’s arm as she got off the bed and she walked to a birthing stool, squatted and pushed hard. Catherine’s head came out, followed by her body, followed by a rush of fluid and blood. We heard Catherine cry immediately. “Cancel that call” I heard the midwife say on the phone.

A wave of intense relief and happiness came over us as we saw Catherine crying and we knew she was safe. Claire and I both cried and held each other. We held Catherine between us.

Claire got back on the bed and held Catherine to her chest. We did not know Catherine’s sex before she was born. I lifted up her leg and learned that we had a daughter. The midwives delivered the placenta and put it in a plastic bag next to us. They worked to stop Claire’s bleeding and then gave us time to sit as a family.

The three of us shortly after the birth

There were intense moments at the end of what had been a very calm labor. Thanks to Claire’s strength and the assistance from the midwives Kelly and Serena, Catherine was born safely at 8:12 am and we were so happy to meet her.

We are grateful we were able to have an intervention free, unmedicated, vaginal birth. We are glad we gave birth at the San Francisco Birth Center where the midwives allowed us to try all different kinds of positions to facilitate a safe and effective labor, which lasted around eight hours. We came home five hours after the birth.

Given Catherine was a girl, I was the only man present at the birth. A birth that was a perfect display of Claire’s strength and heart as a person and an illustration of the power of women working together through a challenging situation.

Earlier in the labor, after arriving at the Birth Center I told Kelly I noticed and liked her sweatshirt — it said “Women are Perfect”. She replied “Thank you — I think it’s kind of true”.