How to Overcome Vibrator Envy
By: Emma Austin
Tags: Relationships, Life, Sex, Self, Advice

Some people feel insecure about their partner’s sex toys. And in a way, I don’t blame them.

One of the reasons toys are so fun is that they can do things no one actually can.

As good as my partner is with his fingers and tongue, he’ll never be able to give me the sensations I get from my favorite wand toy.

Even the dildos I own do things he can’t. I can use them at the exact speed and rhythm I want. I can enjoy something that has a different shape and texture than he does. One is slim, squishy, and floppy which means I can have more comfortable anal play with it than I can have with him.

And then there are the ones I attach to my sex machine. Those can fuck me with more speed than he ever could.

But I didn’t buy them because he couldn’t satisfy me.

In fact, the first time I bought sex toys, it was because I was having the best sex of my life.

I had been dating Mr. Austin for a while and sex with him was so incredibly exciting. He wasn’t my first, but he was the first to consistently make me feel desired and wanted. He was the first to eat my pussy with gusto and do it regularly. And he could make me come without fail.

It made me feel incredibly excited about sex. I wanted to try everything with him. I wanted to figure out new ways to pleasure him and to let him try every technique he could to pleasure me.

I felt playful and adventurous when I was in bed with him. And when I wasn’t, my head was swimming with all sorts of fantasies and my heart was racing with the thrill of knowing we might make some of them come true.

It’s during that time, when I felt like I finally discovered just how incredible sex could be, that I bought my first vibrators.

My sex life was at a high point and it made me incredibly curious. And that curiosity extended to sex toys. If vibrators could make me feel even more pleasure than I was having now, I needed them in my life.

But before I ordered one, I worried about how Mr. Austin would take it. What if he thought I wasn’t satisfied? What if he thought it meant he wasn’t good enough? What if he felt like he had to compete with my vibrators?

I was almost shocked when I told him and he seemed as enthusiastic as I was. He didn’t question why I wanted it. In fact, he helped me put in the order.

All my worries washed away immediately. All that was left was a pure, giddy thrill. And that’s all I’ve felt about toys ever since.

Get in on the Fun

If anything could replace a guy, it would be a vibrator.

I learned that the first time I touched one to my pussy. The sensation was so intensely pleasurable that I couldn’t do anything but lie there and take it.

It didn’t last long at all. I came in under a minute and all I wanted to do was recover from the orgasm so I could play with the toy again.

It was a sensation I had never experienced before and I immediately understood why every woman should own one.

But I didn’t want to get rid of Mr. Austin because of it. All I wanted to do was tell him about it.

I told him about the incredible orgasm I had, how fast and unexpected it was, and how I definitely wanted to make sex toys a regular thing from now on.

And my excitement must have been infectious, because he immediately got into it and asked if I’d be interested in incorporating the toy in our sex life.

He watched me use it. He used it on me. He fucked me while I used it on myself.

The sex we were having already felt mind-blowing. Adding vibrators to it made it even better.

And that’s how it should be. Your partner’s sex toys should make you feel good, not threatened.

If you approach it with curiosity, it can be nothing but fascinating. I find it completely interesting to hear my husband describe what it’s like to use a stroker. It’s even hotter to use one on him or watch him do it.

And we both like knowing that we’re making the best of our masturbation. That we can give ourselves plenty of pleasure and have a really good time instead of just rubbing one out quickly because we’re bored or stressed.

When you look at them that way, you won’t feel like you’re competing with your partner’s sex toys. Instead, they just become a really fun part of your sex lives.

A Vibrator Can’t Tell Me I’m a Good Girl

One reason sex toys are so good is that they can do things to you that your partner can’t.

But there are plenty of things they can’t do.

My favorite vibrator, or my showerhead for that matter, couldn’t replace my partner no matter how hard it can make me come. As good as they are at giving me orgasms, sex is about a lot more than that.

Sex wouldn’t be as fun if it wasn’t for all the enticing and seducing that leads up to it. All the things your partner says and does that makes you feel fired up, gets your blood rushing, and makes it hard for you to hold back from fucking them.

Knowing that you’re being desired, that you’re turning someone on, and that you’re giving them pleasure is an incredible feeling. It fills you with a beautiful mixture of power, pride, and accomplishment.

Every sensation gets heightened when you’re aroused, too. You focus on the exact texture of your partner’s skin. You feel the precise pressure of their touch in a way that you never do otherwise. Their breath on your skin feels so amazing that you want to do whatever it takes to make them breathe even harder.

I also live for the dirty talk. Hearing my partner say the dirtiest things that come to his mind is one of the things that turns me on the most. Knowing that I inspired those words makes it even better.

And I can’t get enough of the emotional states I get into when sex creates the perfect dynamic.

Everyone wants different dynamics out of sex. For me, it’s the submissiveness I get to experience. It’s the safety and comfort I get from feeling taken care of. It’s how little I feel when I’m giving myself over completely and how happy that makes me.

It’s especially the euphoria I feel when my partner dominates me so perfectly that I slip into subspace. And it’s the kind of powerful and intense arousal I can only get from pretending I’m a sweet, naive girl who is being guided by someone more experienced.

Sex wouldn’t be nearly as good as it is without those things. There’s no way toys could ever replace sex because there’s no way to get any of those experiences from toys.

All toys do is make masturbation even better than it is, it heightens the pleasure of sex, and it lets you experience a bit of novelty that keeps your sex life from falling in a rut. It could never replace the best parts of sex — it can only make them even better.

Embrace Pleasure

I said that my sex toys can do things my partner can’t. But it’s the same with his toys.

He has the Hot Octopuss Pulse, which is designed to stimulate the frenulum of a cock using pulses. That isn’t something I could recreate with my hands and mouth no matter how hard I tried.

He has sleeves with textures, ridges, and bumps that stimulate him in a way I can’t imagine my pussy ever could.

And since he’s a delayed ejaculator, I don’t actually have the stamina to make him come. But his Fleshlight can last as long as he needs it to.

But I’ve never felt replaced by any of those. There are times he uses them when we’re masturbating together. There are times when I use those toys on him, to stimulate his cock in ways I couldn’t without them.

But even when he’s alone, I’m not worried. Because I want him to have as much pleasure in his life as he can, even if I’m not always the one giving it to him.

If you ever feel like you’re competing with your partner’s sex toys, get some of your own. You’ll see how much fun it is to fuck them, how much more variety they add to your masturbation routine and your sex life, and how much pleasure you can experience from them.

Most importantly, you’ll see that even though fucking them feels amazing, it won’t make you want to fuck your partner any less than you did before.

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