Why You Should Consider Moving in Silence
By: Shannel Wheeler
Tags: Mindfulness, Inspiration, Self-awareness, Silence, Wisdom

I’ve always respected and in some ways admired those who consider themselves an open book. Conversely, I’ve always been more discreet. I’m definitely learning more about the power of vulnerability and I’m totally open to sharing when I think it will be helpful. But I’ve never been one to volunteer all of my business to any and everyone (and especially not without a good cause).

When it comes to new beginnings, endings, plans, successes, failures, uncertainties, and everything in between, it seems commonplace to openly share these life events on social media, in social gatherings, over the phone, in the break room. But it is not anyone’s obligation or duty to be an open book at all times. As a matter of fact, I believe there can often be wisdom in silence. Here are a few reasons why:

It’s nobody’s business

First and foremost, no one is entitled to every thought you have. You have full ownership. Of course, this sentiment has to be coupled with extreme discretion and discernment. If your “business” or decisions can adversely or significantly affect someone else then, of course, that’s a different story.

Also, there are parts of your journey that are sacred. There are parts that you still may be figuring out or discovering. There’s always a time and place to share, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be now.

Less Distraction

There are some decisions or events that we want the world to know about. There are other things that we would rather endure on our own as we get our bearings, decipher what we need, and evolve through the process. It’s good to have one or a few accountability partners that you can trust, but sometimes putting all of your plans on blast can cause distraction. There will be people continually checking in on your progress, asking questions, possibly infusing doubt, fear, or skepticism. Some distract intentionally and others, unintentionally.

There are times when you just need to put your head down and grind it out. There are times when you know that others may not understand your decision. There are times when you aren’t clear about your own decisions. Moving through these things in silence doesn’t necessarily mean being siloed, but choosing to keep your process sacred and uninhabited by outside noise. This could be deciding to involve just yourself, you and God, or you and few that you trust. You have the right to change your mind, pray, contemplate, strategize, and execute without distraction.

“Listen to silence. It has so much to say.” — Rumi

Everyone doesn’t want you to win

We’ve all seen (or maybe have been) that couple on social media: two weeks after meeting, their status changes to “in a relationship.” Then two months later to “it’s complicated.” Then three weeks later — back to “single.” Inevitably, there are some who find joy in others’ challenges and mishaps.

Not that you should care what people think — but if you’re sharing, posting, and broadcasting your plans for validation (or for vanity), then just keep in mind that every “like” may not have genuine support behind it. It’s unfortunate that everyone won’t always have your best interests at heart, and that some could be salivating at the possibility of your public failure. This fact may be much less important to some than it is to others, but still worth considering for discernment of your unique situation.

Surprise the competition

Another reason to move in silence is competitive edge. You may be releasing a new product or service that you don’t want other players in your space to get wind of. Keeping innovations and new initiatives under wraps with yourself or with your internal team until release day can help you shine above your competitors.

The “reveal” is that much more exciting

When I wrote my first book, my close friends and family knew, but that was about it. It was fun and exciting to reveal that I had written a book as I got closer to my release date. It can be exhilarating to build or create something that no one even knew you were working on. And there’s nothing like giving or receiving a pleasant surprise from a loved one.

It’s kind of like playing a hand that no one knew you had—and not just to the benefit of yourself, but also to benefit others.

Let the results speak for you

Some things are better done than said. Personally, I like to spend more time producing than talking about what I’m going to do. I find more pleasure in creating and seeing the actual results instead of talking about what might potentially happen. Verbalizing and sharing your process has value too, but knowing the appropriate time and frequency to do so is key.

“If I could I would always work in silence and obscurity, and let my efforts be known by their results.” — Emily Bronte

You talk too much

I always assume that people who are quick to gossip about others to me would also have no problem gossiping about me. Similarly, I think that those who never take a moment to pause and think before speaking can be detrimental to themselves and others. It’s good practice to learn to listen and observe. All silent spaces do not need to be filled with noise. Being in the spotlight has its place, but wisdom shows us what should be safeguarded and what should be put on display. Everything doesn’t need to be stated publicly.