Are we giving our children the best of parenting? It’s time to LET THE BIRD FLY
By: Abubakar Sadiq Umar
Tags: Homeschooling, Parental Advisory, Parenting, Children, Parents

Are we giving our children the best of parenting? It’s time to LET THE BIRD FLY Abubakar Sadiq Umar Jan 24·3 min read

“Everybody’s a genius. But if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

Why do parents encourages a fixed mindset in their children? If you look, virtually our entire schooling system is built around ability-praising and labeling (judging) children based on their exam scores (smart or stupid). Parents don’t care about what’s in their childs head or the real knowledge of what they are learning. All they do care about is good results. This is why majority of parents unknowingly establish and reinforce a fixed mindset in their children.

The perspective that skills and talents won’t get you far in life is a detrimental thought. In searching for what’s best for their children, parents force them to study or do what they want because they consider their choices as better for a successful future. I say; WRONG NUMBER. Let’s look at an example; parents force their children to take either science or commerce in school because, according to them, if you become an engineer, or a medical practitioner, or a chartered accountant, you will be successful in life. I’m sorry, it doesn’t work that way.

We are in the 21st century, we must leave the stereotypical thinking behind. The most important thing is to focus on your child’s strength and weakness even if it doesn’t have to do with school. We are all aware of what people with skills have achieved and are achieving in life. I believe knowledge is underrated.

From clenching a tiny fist to crawling on all fours, to slowly tottering on unstable legs, the child is always passing from one stage of skill of development to the next. Without the gradual transition of each phase into the other, no human being will ever be able to cope or develop into a fully functional human being. Each stage is necessary, each skill is necessary in order to grow and be something more than you were.

For a child entering formal education, the development of these skills must become an even more essential part of their life, whereby they do not spend a single day without learning something new that they can carry on with themselves. The development of skills and talents is a form of free expression, when a child is allowed to pursue what truly interests or pleases him or her, this liberty promotes a sense of self-esteem in accepting oneself for his or her own talents and strengths, as opposed to their ability to cope and obey what they are told or expected of.

A child who is allowed to develop skills in their area of interest would naturally do better than a child who is coerced into learning or participating in the field they are not interested in. The former would feel more satisfaction, a happier standard of living, while the latter will spend his or her days trying to satisfy the wants and expectations of others. Also, in an increasingly competitive environment, in which the wants and needs of people are constantly changing, and the patterns of growth are constantly evolving, the need to excel in newer fields, adapting to situations, bringing to forth new ideas and imaginative solutions that change the conventional norms is becoming more and more necessary in order to excel or grow in any field whatsoever. Be it in the field of engineering, or manufacturing, or teaching, the need for novelty and innovation is persistent and never ending.

Doing your job as a parent is to raise a child who is comfortable enough to depend on himself, and impact lives positively. They are not yours to keep, but to teach them to soar on their own. The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence. But in doing so makes sure you work on their character because it’s no doubt, children are keen observers and they learn from their parents activities. Therefore, parents have to change their behavior to show good seeds in their children. The point is to maintain a cordial and harmonious relation at home. And in such conditions, the seeds sown, grow well and strong.