Why the Law of Attraction isn’t working for you.
By: Nitesh Gianchandani
Tags: Visualization, Goals, Law Of Attraction, Personal Development, Spirituality

The year was 2013.

I just graduated high-school, looking forward to the future. Why? Because my past pretty much sucked.

I wasn’t confident growing up. I was overweight, didn’t have a lot of friends, and never experienced having a girlfriend.

Me in 2013 (Left Corner)

To top it off, my family were dead broke and was constantly fighting with each other. So I had to come home to what was literally a broken family.

My only desire at that time was to become a Doctor. Why? Doctors are paid well, and are respected by the society. All I wanted was to prove to my friends and family that a Nitesh Gianchandani exist.

But because My Dad was sick, he couldn’t afford my medical education tuition fee which was a bomb. I had to let that go as well.

My Introduction to the Law of Attraction

I was introduced to the book “The Secret” in that same year by a friend who eventually went to the college I so desperately wanted to attend. He told me to “Read this book, and your life will change.”

I was fascinated by the fact that just by changing my thoughts, my life could change. So I gave it a shot.

My life changed like night and day.

I was suddenly invited to a Toastmasters Meeting and I fell in love with Public Speaking. I was winning trophies, I got recognized for my ability to speak and it wasn’t long till I landed few paying clients.

I was eating healthy, I was lean and was enjoying life. I then met the one girl who was a game-changer. I fell in love at the first sight with her and things just took off like magic.

Leading Indonesia’s First and Second World Speech Day Conference.

Life was great, so great I thought I could conquer the world.

Not for long.

After a while, I started to feel scared of losing everything I owned. I started to feel scared that everything I had at that moment were mere coincidence, and that since I was too attached to things, I would crumble back to my terrible life if I had to lose it all.

And lose it all I did.

The girl I was madly in love with decided she didn’t want to be with me (in her exact words, “I never wanted to be with you in the first place. I just needed someone for a temporary rebound”). I lost my confidence in speaking, I lost my focus, lost a lot of clients, gained massive weight and things at home got even worse.

Photo by Nathan Cowley from Pexels

At times, I would look back at that happy version of me and wondered whether I was ever that person. And, importantly, how could I get back there.

It seemed to me that after that moment, the law of Attraction stopped working for me.

What happened?

If everything was going so well, why did it suddenly ended? Why did I lose everything I had?

Does the “Law of Attraction” actually work? Or were those just just mere coincidences?

What did I learn

for the next 7 years, I constantly learned about how I got to where I was in the Past and why It wasn’t working out for me after. I did trial and errors, invested into mentors, read HUNDREDS of books, meditated and took all the necessary steps.

This list is the compilation of that study (I STILL am heavily invested into and learning about this even today).

What we got wrong about the Law of Attraction

It’s not so much a Law of Attraction, but a Law of Vibration.

The Universe doesn’t respond to what you are saying; it responds to the vibration you are offering. — Abraham Hicks

Vibration is the STATE you are in. To put it in more human terms, it is what you believe to be true.

If you’re thinking or visualizing having a Million Dollars but you deeply believe you’re only going to make $10K, guess how much you’ll actually make.

This is both good news and bad news. Good news that when you’re thinking negative thoughts at any given day, you wouldn’t really have to be scared of it. If you don’t accept it as truth, it doesn’t manifest.

Bad news is, we got to work on our beliefs and NOT JUST our thoughts.

Take a Piece of Paper and write down what do you believe to be true about a certain aspect of your life. (In terms of Dating, maybe you believe you will always be dumped at when things are going well).

Write down how has this belief determined the results you’re receiving in your life.

Write down where did you pick up this belief from (You saw your parents go trough that several times).

Write down a new, better belief in the form of a statement and repeat it to yourself daily.

Resources:

2. Action in the direction of your vision amplify your vibration.

Action without Vision is only Passing time. Vision without Action is merely day-dreaming. But Vision with Action can change the world. — Nelson Mandela.

You noticed the title rymes, didn’t you?

Jokes aside, when your beliefs are truly aligned with the vibration of the very thing you’re intending to create, you’ll be driven to take what is called as Inspired action.

Follow it. You don’t have to figure out the whole steps, just take one step at a time.

Or in Dr. Martin Luther King’s exact words,

“You don’t have to see the whole Staircase. Just take the first step.”

If you refuse to take the action, means your belief is dis-aligned with what you’re intending to manifest.

3. Don’t contradict your own desire.

In many traditional beliefs, we were told that prayers happen only when we close our eyes, bend down before an altar and fold our hands.

If you’re aware of the Law of Vibration, you would know prayer happens every second.

So one of the reasons why most people, including myself in the past don’t succeed with Manifesting is because they intend something for a moment and doubt it for the rest of the day. That’s you contradicting your own prayers.

Resource:

Try out Mental Diet.

4. Affirmations don’t always work, use Questions instead.

Quality questions create Quality Life. Successful people ask better questions, and in result, get better answers. — Tony Robbins

Have you ever felt that as you’re doing Affirmations, your subconscious mind calls your BS?

I’ve learned from Vishen Lakhiani and Christie Marie Sheldon this secret tip of Manifesting using Questions. And it is INCREDIBLY powerful.

Instead of saying “I am having six packs now”, try “Why does it feel so good to have my ideal body shape?”

When you ask yourself questions, your subconscious mind couldn’t reject it as you’re technically not making a false statement. You’re asking a question, while at the same time making your statement.

Resource:

5. Embrace the concept of letting go, surrender and detachment.

You manifest easier when you are in the path of least resistance. — Abraham Hicks

One of the biggest reasons I failed when things were great was desperation.

As I learned about Manifestation the first time, I wasn’t too fixated upon the results. I was like “Well, if it works it works. If it doesn’t what do I have to lose anyway?” That was how my results came FAST.

As I started receiving all the things I wanted, I started getting attached to it.

When manifesting, one of the biggest key is to practice detachment from the result.

One of the Manifesting Coaches I’ve worked with sums this up beautifully.

“If you want the feelings of it more than the actual, physical manifestation, you’ll receive it FAST and EASY.”

Once you’ve set the intentions, felt the emotion and is taking constant inspired action… let it go and allow the Universe to do it’s work.

Resources

6. Consistency and Repetition is the key.

There’s one quote that really hits home with this. It’s a quote by Vladimir Lenin, Russian revolutionary, politician, and political theorist.

If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. — Vladimir Lenin

This may not be really positive if we speak about its context, but it can teach us a thing or two about our subconscious mind. One of the most profound is that Repetition is key.

We’ve picked up our beliefs for a long time, some we even pick up as we were born. As we’re consistent with our affirmations (Questions), Intentions and Actions, there’s no way it wouldn’t manifest.

Resources:

7. Gratitude is the real deal.

This is BIG.

If you’ve noticed my story, one of the reasons of my downfall was that I wasn’t grateful for what the Universe has already granted in my life. Instead, I was dead scared of losing it all.

Gratitude is the most powerful feelings in the world. Dr. John Demartini said, “What we think about and Thank about, we bring about.”

Simply put, if you want to bring something into your life, be grateful for it’s existence in your life. If you want to bring more money, be grateful for the money already there in your life. If you want to bring in Love, be grateful for the love ALREADY in your life.

Gratitude unites you with the powers of the Universe. You know what’s the most amazing thing about it? You can feel grateful RIGHT NOW.

Resources:

CONCLUSION

It’s not so much a Law of Attraction, but a Law of Vibration. Action in the direction of your vision amplify your vibration. Don’t contradict your own desire. Affirmations don’t always work, use Questions instead. Embrace the concept of letting go, surrender and detachment. Consistency and Repetition is the key. Gratitude is the real deal.

The Law of Attraction, or the Law of Vibration works in our life whether we believe in them or not. Our life could turn like day and night if we could embrace, understand and master this principle for a fuller and richer life.