The Little Boy Who Cried Fraud
Tags: Babies, Ethereum, Health, Life, Coronavirus

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Donnie that liked to lie. From an early age, Donnie was not book smart, but he was creative. His parents decided to encourage his creativity and not force him to conform to the same standards as other little boys.

Unfortunately for Donnie, the schools he attended didn’t see things the same way, and he got kicked out of school after school until ending up in a military academy. You might think Donnie wouldn’t fare well in such an environment, but Donnie liked shiny things. He was impressed by the dress uniforms, the medals, and the pomp and circumstance. By his senior year, he was made a Captain and gave orders to the officers beneath him to keep strict discipline. Donnie himself mostly stayed in his room until he was removed from the position, given another where he didn’t supervise anyone. Donnie lied about the incident, of course. He said he got promoted.

“I had total control over the cadets. That’s why I got a promotion — because I did so good.”

After graduation from military school, Donnie wanted to go to college. He paid someone to take his entrance exams, he was still not book smart, a mediocre student at best. He didn’t want to go to war in Vietnam, so he utilized four educational deferments. He did graduate from though not with honors. Donnie says he finished at the top of his class. That pesky war was still going on when he finished college, so he got a fifth deferment for alleged bone spurs. He later told his lawyer he made the injury up. According to him, those who served were “losers and suckers.”

“You think I’m stupid? I wasn’t going to Vietnam.”

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Even if you haven’t been following closely, you know his story. Three wives, and two divorces. Multiple affairs and over twenty accusations of sexual harassment and a couple of charges of rape. According to Donnie, he never met any of the women, including those he’s been pictured with. One of his standard defenses is that they weren’t his type. Have you looked at Donnie lately? Can he really limit himself to a type?

Donnie didn’t start the birther movement, but he eventually led it. He lied about private investigators dispatched to Hawaii and all the information they were reporting. Obama shamed him at the 2011 White House Correspondents Dinner, which he followed up with by a strike that killed Osama Bin Laden before the meal was digested. At that dinner, Donnie decided he would run for President and try to undo everything accomplished by Obama. It says a lot about America that it elected a man with no greater motivation than pettiness, but that’s another tale.

Donnie surprised even himself by winning the election against Hillary Clinton. The combination of his lies and Republican tropes about Hillary and the Electoral College where the popular vote doesn’t matter put him in office. On his first day, he started lying about crowd size, and he never slowed down. The Washington Post started tracking Donnie’s lies while in office and was projected to exceed 25,000 before Election Day, a goal he easily exceeded.

After a first term filled with lies and scandals, Trump ran for re-election against Joe Biden. Because of his disastrous response to the COVID-19 virus, Donnie was way behind in the polls and looked like he was headed towards defeat. He began promoting the theory that the only way he could lose was if the Democrats cheated. Donnie lost handily but refused to concede, promoting multiple conspiracy theories in an attempt to stay in office. Some say it’s to avoid persecution for multiple federal crimes of which he’s been accused. It seems the Justice Dept. has some memo about not indicting a sitting President, and many of his potential crimes will have their statute of limitations expire should Trump have served another term. There are many reasons Trump wanted to remain in office, not least among them being labeled a loser if he lost and not being as successful as Barack Obama who won twice.

So now Donnie has lost, losing such Republican strongholds along the way as Arizona and Georgia. Unsurprisingly, Donnie is throwing a tantrum and has metaphorically laid down on the Oval Office floor pounding his fists, getting up only to tweet about this or that fraud he imagines. He has a sorry cast of lawyers now headed up by Rudi Guiliani, last seen with hair dye running down his face. They are abiding by the theory that the bigger the lie the better. They got it from their boss.

The unbelievable part is that so many of the rank and file Republicans believe Donnie’s lies. The little boy who cried wolf wasn’t believed after just a few times, Donnie has been lying all his life yet there are those who still believe.

Donnie will be leaving the White House on January 20th, 2021, one way or the other. We can be certain he won’t slink away and be silent. He will continue tweeting, and lying, because that’s what he does. Hopefully his believers will move on now that he has nothing to offer. Donnie is already a has-been, a fraud, and a liar. Believe that!