A Letter to Your Confused and Insecure Younger Self
By: Megan Boley
Tags: Life Lessons, Relationships, Life, Self, Mental Health

A Letter to Your Confused and Insecure Younger Self

Advice and truth bombs from Future You

Dear Younger Me,

I know you’re scared. I know you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing. But I’ll let you in on a little secret — nobody really knows what they’re doing.

Fake it until you make it.

If you’re not feeling confident, fake it. If you have no clue what to do, pretend like you do.

Your internal monologue, what you tell yourself, the way you speak to yourself — that is your truth. That becomes who you are. If you tell yourself you can’t, if you tell yourself that you suck and you aren’t worthy of love, then you’ll start to believe it’s true. But it’s not.

Don’t believe that toxic internal dialogue. Change the message. Be kinder to yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

Shine bright no matter who gets mad about it.

Your shine doesn’t make anyone else less shiny. Your success does not take away from anyone else’s — and vice versa. Don’t ever hold yourself back or be less than you can be in order to make someone else feel comfortable. Be yourself, and be yourself aggressively — no matter who tries to tell you that you shouldn’t.

You are not the worst things you’ve ever done.

Mistakes — even really big, ugly ones — are part of life. You are not beyond redemption. Redefine and recreate yourself every day if that’s what it takes to feel good in your own skin.

Own your triumphs. Own your mistakes. They add color to the pages of your life story — even if sometimes that color splatters in the wrong places and obscures some of the words. You’ll find your way back to the story again. Just keep writing it.

It’s okay to feel sad sometimes for no reason.

Sit in that feeling and don’t judge yourself for it. Allow it to exist. Feeling sad is okay, just like feeling any emotion is okay. You don’t have to know why you feel it, and you don’t have to explain it to anyone. You feel your feelings, you don’t think them. As such, you can’t always control them or explain them.

Don’t let anyone ridicule you for the way you feel. Feelings are not bad — it’s the actions we take as a result of them that define us and make us who we are.

Save your love for someone who can love you back.

Don’t waste your time worrying about if someone likes you or not. If you like you, that’s all that matters. Do you really want to date someone who doesn’t appreciate or recognize your value? Don’t break your own heart loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

You could have a significant other at any time if you wanted to, but stay single until you meet the right person. You deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner, so don’t settle for less just because you’re lonely. It won’t do you — or them — any good.

Stop saying you’re “too busy.”

You’re so busy, you’re forgetting to live your life. I know your strict schedule doesn’t have room for random adventures, but it should. Make time for spontaneous outings with your friends.

In ten years, you won’t remember the days you ran around fulfilling all of your mundane obligations like work and going to the gym. You’ll remember that time you bought a last-minute ticket to a concert for a band you’d never heard of and ended up dancing the night away.

You’ll remember that delicious beer you had on the rooftop bar of a new restaurant down by the river as you watched the sunset paint the sky red. You’ll remember sipping wine poolside with your best friend who will end up moving away in the coming months.

Make time for making memories. When you’re old, they’ll be your keepsakes to remind you that you lived a fun, full life.

Stop worrying about the future.

It isn’t any of your concern. Life will keep rolling on without any input from you, if you let it. What is your concern is doing the best you can, right now, in this moment.

It’s okay to make plans and have goals and aspirations, but don’t stress about them. The future will worry about itself. Just take care of yourself as you exist right now, and keep striving to bring your best self to the table every day — even when it’s hard.

Stop worrying so much, my dear. You’re doing just fine.

Love,

Future You