The Future of Masculinity — between crisis and hope.
By: Kevy Gilles
Tags: Human Rights, Masculinity, Feminism, Men, Women

More and more young men being confused about what it is to be a man — a good man. Many fear getting cancelled just for expressing their “masculinity” or even (erm…) having penises. In a new world where there is a thin line between political correctness and a lot of bad “isms” (for instance sexism, racism, etc.), many would rather shut up than express themselves clearly for fears of being attacked by the political correctness mob.

In as much as feminism is helping undo the toxic masculinity culture, I don’t think feminism alone should rewrite how good men should behave. Just as men are not supposed to define what femininity is. Feminism has done a lot of good in helping re-question the values that define manhood. By helping deconstruct toxic masculinity — the type of masculinity that thrived on sexism and misogyny; the kind that meant disrespecting women in a bid to prove that men are the stronger gender, that type of masculinity is gradually coming to an end — thanks to feminism.

However, as one era is ending, another is starting, but here we are without any clear guidance on what masculinity is. This is because we lack a clear path and a clear definition of what being a “man” entails and involves. We have more and more men having no good examples of masculinity because all they ever knew was toxic masculinity. Now that this concept is being deconstructed, most young men have lost all their identity and don’t know where to look or what to do. However, as we are at this crossroads, it is good to acknowledge that we also have the space to redefine masculinity in a beautiful, progressive way.

We need more responsible, good men with good values (which includes respecting gender equality and respecting women’s right) to step up and mentor young men on how to be good men. Much as it is no longer acceptable to limit women educationally, socially and politically, disregarding men’s problems is no longer acceptable. We further gender equality for all when we bring men into the discussion.

Building a new society which includes better guys, dads, husbands, boyfriends, sons should not be to the detriment of women’s rights and equality. The problem, however, is that for men who face obsolete conceptions of masculinity, there is no framework to create a movement of support, guidance and appreciation. This could be because they are most often used to the old definition of masculinity which thrived on sexism and abuse of women’s rights. A promising and positive future for men and women living in a gender-equal society demands that we also recognize the challenge facing many young men and that we invest in solutions.

More and more research proves that in our quest to create more equitable and equal societies where women can thrive, there’s a lot of focus on satisfying women’s needs while disregarding that of men. A lot of research point to classroom environments and curriculums that are designed for girls to succeed and boys to fail. In our fight for gender equality and in the quest to emancipate women, we shouldn’t leave men out of the equation. Leaving men out of it is disempowering them and enabling a future problem where we might have to hit roads in the name of promoting “masculinism” (or masculinity).

The question is, how do we create a good definition of masculinity? (The one that goes beyond sexism and toxic patriarchy) especially in a system where most of the examples of masculinity and the figures that young men worked with were/are seen as toxic and evil. How do we redefine manhood without losing the substance of men?

DISCUSSION:

What makes a good man from your perspective, fellas? What constitutes good masculinity?