Deep-Rooted Sexism That Is Birthing Narcissist Men
By: Archana Vanguri
Tags: Gender Roles, Raising Boys, Sexism, Discrimination, Misogyny

MISOGYNY

Deep-Rooted Sexism That Is Birthing Narcissist Men

Photo by Jyotirmoy Gupta on Unsplash

India lives in several centuries at the same time - Arundhati Roy

While most of India is progressing towards gender equality and accepting all genders, there are some parts of India where discrimination against the female sex is still prevalent. It’s absurd to see that people worship female goddesses but disrespect the same gender.

Many say that women in India are not independent. I say most men aren’t because they can’t even make tea if their wives are not around.

The absence of a woman scares them.

All men are not the same, I am not a pseudo-feminist.

Some men are male chauvinists. However educated and successful they might be, they just can’t come out of their shell, which defines women as inferior.

The seeds of such poisonous attitude were sown long back, the weeds are now dense difficult to get rid of unless we teach our boys how not to treat girls.

The seeds of the weed

The kitchen is a restricted area for men A man in shorts= Stud, a woman in shorts=Slut Money is saved for a boy’s education but a girl’s marriage Men of the house should be fed first Men should not be served left-over food

The Kitchen Is A Restricted Area For Men

Boys, from a very tender age, are taught not to enter the kitchen. They are taught that household chores are only for women. Gender roles are defined and assigned from a very early age. Boys should look after the works outside the home. The girl’s world is confined to the four walls of a house.

Daughters look after their brothers, cook for them, take their plates away after finishing their meal, wash their clothes, press them, put them away in their wardrobes, polish their shoes, pack their lunch……this list is infinite and irrational just like Pi. These daughters are pushed into parentification.

These boys raise to be men who expect and demand the same from their wives. They consider stepping into the kitchen as an aspect of shame.

A Man In S Is A Stud Whereas A Woman In Shorts Is A Slut

India is a tropical country with extreme temperatures, especially in summer. Despite the discomfort, women are expected to dress modestly, cover themselves completely. This rule does not apply to a man. He has the right to choose what he wants to wear but a woman has no right and freedom to wear what she wants.

She is morally policed. If she doesn’t comply she is abused and blamed for provoking men and for dressing inappropriately.

Boys raised in such an atmosphere grow up to be men who think that a woman in a mini skirt is inviting harassment.

My question: what about those 3-year-old and 4-year-old rape victims? why are they raped? Is it because they dressed inappropriately and provoked men who are the age of their grandfathers and fathers?

Money Is Saved For A Boy’s Education But For A Girl’s Marriage

“what would you achieve by getting a college degree? You would ultimately get married, look after your husband and your children”.

This is the most frequently asked question when a girl wants to go to college and earn a degree. Parents are ready to spend huge money on a daughter’s marriage which would just be a day or two and are not ready to spend the same money which would give her the most valued possessions- knowledge, education, and most importantly an identity of her own which would be with her for a lifetime.

This attitude makes the boys think that women cannot study and earn degrees or do jobs. They think that women are designed to get married and produce babies. Education is not a woman’s cup of tea. At least that's what they think.

Men Of The House Should Be Fed First

A woman cooks food, cleans the kitchen, feeds her children. Despite doing all the chores, she is not allowed to have the first morsel of food. All men of the house should be served first. Women can eat after the men finish eating.

This atmosphere sows the seeds of superiority in boys. They feel that girls are inferior and second-class citizens who deserve no respect or equal status. They grow up arrogant and forget that they would starve without such wonderful women who serve them happily, relentlessly, and selflessly.

Men Should Not Be Served Left-over Food

Any leftovers should be consumed only by women. These sexist societies believe that men work hard outside, all day long and women are relaxing at home. So, men must be served hot, freshly cooked meals.

This attitude leads to supremacy and arrogance in men.

The very same society states- “Annam parabramha swaroopam” which translates to “ Food is equal to the creator/ God”. when you suggest that food is God, why can’t both men and women equally share it?

I, personally believe in minimizing food wastage. When there is a left-over, it is equally shared among all the members of our family irrespective of gender, age unless they are our guests.

Say NO to food wastage. Say NO to gender discrimination.

These are just a few of many. There are many other weird things like Menstrual Huts that ghettoize women.

All those practices are my mental notes on how not to raise my boy.