Contribute Your Dark Side to The LighterSide
By: Robert Turner
Tags: Submission, Lighterside, Rules, Submission Guidelines

Contribute Your Dark Side to The LighterSide

Do’s and donuts for submitting a piece to the LighterSide

This is going to be short and it’s going to be to the point. Yes, you guessed it, a listicle of Submission Rules. Break them and thou shalt not pass begin. If you’re wondering why this piece appears here rather than in the Publication, ask Medium or read this by way of explanation.

Keep it cleanish. We understand sometimes potty humour is called for, but there’s a thin line. Try not to cross it, dangle a toe over it or try to peer over the top. In short, steer clear of the line. Keep it tidyish. No messy formatting, links or excessive ‘bigging it up’ of your writing prowess or your wife’s Avon catalogue. We don’t mind a little shameless trumpet blowing in the footer if it’s kept to a minimum of twelve pages. Check your spilling. Nothing annoys us more than incorrectly spilt words. Send us a piece littered with misspilt words and you will instantly and unceremoniously be excommunicated. Any topic, and we do mean any topic that you feel funny about is fine with us. Nothing is taboo. It doesn’t mean we’ll accept the piece, but we will read it, possibly laugh, and then get back to you. Don’t leave your keyboard. We are now also accepting less funny pieces, bordering on doom and gloom on the topics you can see displayed in the menu above. Don’t send us anything off topic. We will reply with an email virus. Don’t piss off the neighbours. Personally we couldn’t give a hoot, but Medium is kind of fussy about this. Anything construed to cause more than normal levels of offence (good luck figuring that one out) will be passed to Grinch, our resident pooch, binned and then set ablaze. Literally, it’s how we recycle. It’s a Filipino thing. We won’t edit or fiddle with your scribbling. You own it, lock stock and barrel and to be blunt, we’re not sure anyone would want to plagiarise it anyway. Your tags are a different story and we ask that you only select four before submitting a piece. We will add the other one if we feel there is scope and after consulting with you. We don’t require that all your submissions be virginal. We do accept previously published work, just be clear about where it was published and that you are in fact legal owner of said materials. Transcripts from SNL are not acceptable. Pictures are great. Big bright eye catching ones. If we think you’re good at writing but suck at picking images, we may suggest an alternative. If you don’t like our suggestion then you are free to take what was probably a below par piece anyway and try and get it published elsewhere. Good luck with that. This publication is about humour. It is not a platform for vertically challenged individuals, not radical leftist propaganda or hobbits trying to raise awareness for foot epilators. Okay, maybe the hobbits have a shot. If it’s not funny, it’s not getting published unless of course we absolutely love it. Send us an email with a link to your draft on Medium. Please don’t send us any additional info, just that. The piece will tell its own tale and we’ll get in touch as soon as we’re sober. For near sighted individuals that cannot locate the little envelope, the email address is arturner67@icloud.com Now I know why Moses stopped at ten, this is knackering. I’m sure you still have questions. Hell, we all do.

Happy writing and remember to smile. Somewhere in your office or home or bedroom, a camera is watching. We know, we’ve seen the streams.

Regards from Rob and Duncan at the LighterSide.