fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Photographs
By: Kristina Lipe
Tags: Divorce, Love, Holidays, Single Moms

I used to take beautiful pictures of my family and put them in hardbound books. If a fire came, these are the material possessions I’d most want to save. I’d dutifully pull out the good camera and let it awkwardly swing and bounce around my neck, even though it was uncomfortable, because I knew and felt that my life was so full of blessings: that my children were precious, and that it was all so fleeting. As it turns out, that life, that nuclear family, was more fleeting than I ever imagined it would be. Like a sheet of glass on a rock, my marriage, and our family structure, shattered a few days before Christmas in 2018.

I remember I was late that year in getting our family holiday cards assembled and postmarked. I had a stack of nearly 200 cards waiting to go out — our smiling faces squished together looking wintry and joyful. I also remember the sound, a dull thud, as I dropped that stack into the metal recycling bin with resignation a few days after Christmas. As for the photos from 2018, they remain in a folder; no hardbound book. Just a folder vaguely labeled 2018. It’s a task that is still too searing to face. I don’t think I’m any closer today than I was two years ago to compiling those images and memories.

Here’s how my annual photo counts stack up from when I started making those books:

2012: 1,759

2013: 4,199

2014: 8,155

2015: 6,993

2016: 8,875

2017: 12,516

2018: 9,134

2019: 292

The totals neatly portray the richness of the years when my children were small, and the pain of 2019. It was a year in which I couldn’t remotely tolerate looking at the photos from the previous years, and apparently, I wasn’t motivated to document the current situation either. When that year wrapped, I looked at the folder — which contained a mere 292 photos — with a lens of compassion; I forgave myself. It wasn’t enough, but it was all I had. It was me putting one foot in front of the other. It was me trying to care for the man I had loved for 9 years the best I could, while divorcing him, and trying to establish a new shape for our family. It was me going back to work unexpectedly. It was me selling the home we thought we would share until our kids went off to college. It was me when I couldn’t tell up from down. It was too much.

I write this on Christmas Eve 2020, in a quiet house, while my children are sleeping at their dad’s place. We’ve all settled into a new rhythm. The camera is back to clicking a little bit more these days. But the holidays can be hard. Where I have friends that are hurting, I want you to know that I’ve been there too.
How to Overcome Separation
By: Gelson Lii
Tags: Separation, Passion, Divorce, Dating, Love

Imagem(Art Galery)

After the separation, do your best to focus on yourself, learn to love yourself more so that you can heal yourself.

Use this time for yourself. Most of you use this time to blame yourself, compared to the girls he cheated on. The basis of overcoming lies in accepting that it no longer belongs to you, in accepting that it is over, in accepting to let the other become happy.

Some of you abandon yourself and focus on making your ex jealous or trying to prove that you can be happy without them.

Some of you focus on finding a better one. Listen, you can’t find a better neighbor while you’re still bitter.

Another relationship is not going to heal you. Making your ex jealous doesn’t help you. Pretending happiness will delay your healing. Focus on yourself. The better you will attract a better neighbor.

You cannot open your heart again if yours is still hurt, under pain of feeling the same pain again, the sentimental life is an evolution and with evolution comes the acceptance of the loss, and studies of the mistakes made.

Imagem(Art Galery)

It is not easy to forget the kisses, it is not easy to forget the hugs, it is not easy to forget the intimate moments of warmth in peace, but just the fact of knowing that another is in his arms, another kisses his lips, another strolls with his hands given, brings a deep pain in the heart. Difficult? Yes! Horrible? Yes !, but there is only one intermediate factor between Overcoming and that pain, and that Factor is called ACCEPTING LOSS.

Maybe it was weeks of intense love, maybe it was months of pure passion, maybe it was years of love and pure passion involved, it’s easy to create a difficult relationship and keep it going until the end.

“The man you should fight for

It’s one you don’t even have to fight for. ”

Imagem(Art Galery)

He should never give you reasons to fight, he will show up, make an effort, treat you well, make you feel wanted and necessary, he will always go to the ends of the earth to show you that you mean the world to him.

Note that this is the end effort, it has nothing to do with you as a woman, the minute you start asking for these, you are begging her to value your value in your life. He treats you the way he values ​​you, his actions say how he sees you. If he shows no effort, he just isn’t interested. Go ahead mtaka ‘Ma, he is not worth your time.

It does not mean that he will not go wrong. No man is perfect, but a man who tries is all you need. If he doesn’t fight to get you back then you don’t have to fight for him, be the owner of your feelings. your happiness. Love yourself and be happy with people who love you.

Editor-Gelson Lii

Grounded — Anne Suares

Year-2020.
Letter: To the Woman who Loves my Husband
Tags: Divorce, Marriage, New Life, Relationships

While you were beginning your new life with my husband, I was trying to rebuild mine.

While you were building new memories with my spouse, I was desperately trying bury them.

While you were walking around hand in hand blissfully, I walked around in agony of pain.

While you were making new discoveries about him and his interests, I was trying to figure out how to rediscover myself.

While you rolled around with my husband in a defiled bed, I laid weeping in our martial bed staring at the imprint of where he used to lay.

While you received “Good Morning Beautiful!” texts and loving phone calls throughout the day, my phone was bombarded with collection calls.

While you choose bed comforters and home décor for your new nest with him, I was given a foreclosure sale date.

While you listened to him complain about me and all the things I did wrong in our marriage, I was stuck in an emotional cycle of sex and lies that continued throughout our separation.

While he told you he would never treat you the way he treated me, I was questioning my value and worth.

And while you “play” house with him, I am struggling to maintain the home and the kids he left behind.

And over these next few years, while you watch in horror as the mask he’s worn all this time begins to drop revealing multiple troubling identities, I’ll be…in f**king Vegas!

(Shots anyone?)
I don’t want to go to dads
By: Samantha Boss
Tags: Coparent, Divorce, Visitation, Coparenting, Children

Holy shit my stomach dropped to my stomach when I heard this.

Like what I am suppose to do about this. How am I suppose to react? What do I say? What do I do?

I would say after having this happen to me a few times I have a couple things for you to be consider.

First, have you been bashing on your ex so bad that your child wants to please you! That these words of “I don’t want to go” are coming from a place of making you happy instead of making themselves happy.

Second, don’t make a face or give a reaction when you child says this. Your reaction will guide them on what they say next, so keep it neutral so you can have a good conversation with them.

Third, your child will not be strong enough, mature enough and or mean enough to say these things to your ex so don’t expect it or demand it.

Fourth, it might be just a rough season or a phase. So don’t make harsh adjustments with paperwork right off the bat.

Fifth, there is paperwork you have to follow, don’t put yourself in a bad situation.

Sixth, you are your child’s advocate so get them a therapist to share these thoughts with. This therapist can then maybe work with you and your ex on what is going on so it doesn’t come from you.

There might be a new girlfriend or her new kids that are causing an issue. There might be a bedtime routine they don’t like. Hell it could be what they make for dinner that upsets your child.

You need to encourage your child’s relationship with our ex, their other parent. You need to be your ex’s number one cheerleader because you want that back when your child is at your house.

There is not definite answer on how to handle this situation. I think there needs to be a harsh look at yourself and then to see if your child is just trying to please you. But there is always the option that there is abuse or neglect too so be careful. Know your child and follow your gut.
Finding Forgiveness After Divorce
By: Frank William Brennan
Tags: Trust, Marriage, Divorce, Forgiveness, Faith

Divorce

My parents divorced when I was a child. I grew up never knowing why they separated. But in my 20s, I came upon a letter my dad had written to my mom after their divorce. Filled with emotion, he talked about how sad, hurt, and frustrated he had been with the divorce proceedings. He offered her everything, including me, his only son, knowing I would grow best in her care. Yet, he wished her well and prayed for her happiness, hoping for forgiveness after divorce.

Growing up, I knew my mom loved him deeply, but in her words, I sensed an undertone of resentment toward him. I never understood the pain they both went through. Thankfully today, they are both happily remarried. Regardless of what happened between them, they needed time to forgive. But how does one find forgiveness after divorce? Here are 3 ways.

Grieve.

Divorce is emotionally equivalent to death. Like after the death of a loved one, a person must go through the natural stages of grief after a divorce. Immediately jumping into a new relationship, even if your ex-spouse has moved on, cuts the grieving process short and results in more scarring. Someone in your life is gone, and sadly, for many divorced men, it’s an entire family lost. Grieving is healthy and bridges the ability to forgive your spouse or yourself.

Find support.

It will be challenging to maintain healthy relationships with the mutual friends you made with your ex-spouse, but not impossible. Be prepared for the loss of some good friends who choose a side. Men must venture out and find friends who will support them from other circles such as work, support groups, close relatives, or old friends. Turning to a church may feel awkward or emotionally impossible, but it can be one of the best places to find men to rely on. For me, keeping my faith and prayer life healthy during tough times has given me hope and gives me the strength to seek forgiveness.

“Time is not an enemy, but a friend who can help craft a new person.”

Allow time.

Forgiveness takes time. Even after the grieving process is complete, men need to rediscover who they are in this life stage. Some men may be single working dads, some may have limited parental rights, some may have joint custody, and others may be bachelors again. Time is not an enemy, but a friend who can help craft a new person. Allow for time to help you heal and forgive.
Bashing on your EX
By: Samantha Boss
Tags: Parenting, Divorce, Coparenting, Name Calling, Be Nice

Do you or your ex bashing on your ex? Be Honest!

Kids know you are bashing on their mom even when you don’t use her name. Kids know you are bashing on their dad even when you don’t call him a name. Kids know you are bashing on their other parent even when you use air quotes.

Just stop…your need to sound, look or come off superior is not flattering and your kids see through your bullshit!

You have to realize you parent differently and that is ok!

Your chid loves both their parents. Your child knows there are difference between the two of you, you don’t always need to point them out.
Should you go vintage with your relationship?
By: Eva Grape
Tags: Relationships, Short Story, Teaser, Divorce, Adultery

Should you go vintage with your relationship? According to different studies, people change almost entirely (cell-wise) every seven-year — there is a definite cycle of development when we change due to our experiences (physical and mental), but nonetheless, the switch to a new cycle between two partners may not be in sync. So what do you do then? Do you divorce every time you change and your partner isn’t? No, I hope you’re not. This approach will almost surely jeopardize you.

You could go vintage by applying the Belle Epoch lifestyle of open-relationships. MARTHA BIBESCO did it and lived 91 years old. What do you think was her secret? Open-relationships may sound over the top for many of us because we tend to believe that love must be regarded as the foundation of any relationship.

Read the entire story here.
Ritik Roshan Lifestyle : Marriage to Divorce : Indias Biggest Divorce
Tags: Ritik Roshan, World, Divorce, Bollywood, India

in The New York Times
Living With FEAR
By: Samantha Boss
Tags: Live In The Now, Parenting, Divorce, Coparenting, Children

During your divorce, did you fear messing up?

Like everything you did was going to be held against you in your custody battle? So you parented differently. You responded differently. You agreed to things you normally would not have. You allowed things to happen that you would have never had before.

If you are going through divorce now, do what is best for you and your kids, fuck him and using everything against you. Hard to hold being a good parent against you. Don’t let yourself get so wrapped up in the divorce that you forget to be you as a parent.

If you went through a divorce and you now look back…do you regret the way you conducted yourself during the divorce process? Did you live in constant fear of fucking up?
Child Support
By: Samantha Boss
Tags: Parenting, Divorce, Child Support, Coparenting, Children

Isn’t it amazing how much child support is suppose to cover but yet doesn’t?

Then when extra things pop up like sports, school, friend’s birthday party, kid grew 2 sizes in 2 months, fundraisers for school, etc. child support is suppose to cover those as well.

There is never enough money for kids when you are married let alone when you are single, even if you are getting child support!

Anyone else feel like child support barely helps you make ends meet with the kids? Then asking for extra help was a waste of time and energy.
Your love story sounded so real I wish you didn’t have to separate from him.
Tags: Divorce, Childbearing, Separation

Your love story sounded so real I wish you didn’t have to separate from him.
Death, Divorce, and Dildos.
By: Lisa Lee
Tags: Widower, Humor, Sex, Divorce, Widow

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

I don’t mean to sound crass here, but, there are a lot of things about being a divorcee or widow/er that people don’t talk about out in the open. First of all, anyone that has found themselves in one of the above predicaments usually feels lost, dazed and confused. And inevitably, when one loses a beloved spouse be it through death or divorce, the new singleton finds themselves in a sexless space which can create a sort of profound panic. And perhaps for the first time in one’s life, the consideration of a dildo or other sex toy becomes a legitimate, sound option versus a series of one night stands. Or hey, maybe your sex toy is an active part of your life and actually bares its own name. But for me, this was new territory.

Long story short….June 2018 my beloved father passed. December 15, 2019 my beloved mother passed. Two weeks later, January 2, 2020, I found out in a very public way that my husband had “moved on” from our marriage. March 2020, well, you know. July 27, 2020 I moved out of my house that was occupied by my husband, my 7 year old son, my two stepsons, and my two dogs. August 2020 I filed for divorce. October 1, 2020 I moved back into my mess of a home with one dog and 50% time share of my son.

So, after this series of events, I was left in a shock to say the least. So much had happened in a very, short period of time. And even though my sexual appetite wasn’t great, I was totally freaked out by the fact that I couldn’t have sex on a somewhat regular basis. And when that truth hits, it hits hard my friend. It hits like a brick wall, I am going to be honest with you. So, of course, like the girl I am, I shared my concerns with a girlfriend or two for advice. And the very first thing offered up was a…..DILDO. Now I don’t have experience with dildos. And they are intimidating as hell. Have you seen them? And they are just so impersonal. Like who has sex with an inanimate object. I don’t know. A lot of people apparently.

The second option given was the vibrator, again new territory. Some people swear by them. Again, I am clueless. The third more viable option given to me was a Dating App or internet dating, which I am happy to say has worked out quite well and circumvents the whole inanimate object issue that I had with sex toys.

But I say this to also say…if you need a sex toy to get you through this most horrific, sad, and traumatizing time, EMBRACE IT! Name it. Light candles. Have a date night with it. I don’t care. There is truly no shame in it. Because if you have lost your loved one due to death, divorce, or a break up, sometimes surviving is the only thing you can do. And if you can find a healthy option to help cope, so be it. We are only human. We all need grace. We all need to heal.
Alphabet Soup for the Relational Soul
By: Rachel Alexander, Esq., Fop
Tags: Divorce, Words, Divorce Support, Mediation

{4 minutes to read} What is in a word? A lot, I think. Although a rose by any name may smell just as sweet, I find that when I frequently bump into and miswrite the same particular words, it may be alerting me to something. Dyslexia, possibly, but that is not my point.

There are two important words I regularly double-check, often enough to cause me to pursue their connection.

Attach and attack are so close as to be word-siblings. Perhaps the Cain and Abel of word siblings. The Edgar and Edmund of Shakespeare’s King Lear; characters whose connection is indicated by the close and common letters used to make up their names.

Attach and attack have so much in common, particularly in the field of divorce mediation — a field very much at the intersection of attach and attack, both of which imply an essential relationship between two entities.

At·tach verb

fasten; join.

“he made certain that the trailer was securely attached to the van attribute importance or value to.

“he doesn’t attach too much importance to radical ideas”

At·tack /əˈtak/ — verb

take aggressive action against (a place or enemy forces) with weapons or armed force, typically in a battle or war.

“in December, the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor”

– noun

an aggressive and violent action against a person or place.

“he was killed in an attack on a checkpoint”

In infancy, we live or die based on the quality of our first attachments. We are entirely at the mercy of those into whose care we are born. Human infants are among the most helpless of all species — and for the longest period of time. In the early months of life, if we are not adequately cared for, we perish. Our survival does not so much depend upon access to sustenance or shelter, but on the attachment to the other who secures these things for us. The quality of our early attachments to caregivers nourishes — or complicates — our development into more autonomous adults. Often it does both!

In very early attachment we literally are cannibals, nursing from our mother’s breast. We are nourishing from the very body of another person. Attachment not only has the highest stakes, there is an intensity of oneness, an innate hunger for the other that is bodily, preverbal — a knowing akin and inseparable from our very aliveness.

Regardless of how educated, well-traveled, or generally sophisticated our grown-up selves are, we are all elementally composed of attachment, our earliest experience of it being fierce, dependent, foundational.

Fast-forward to divorce — when attachment can transform into aggression, fury, panic, and attack.

And it can be one of the most regressed and vicious attacks that we see.

How strange and close these words are! Attach can encompass gripping for dear life; attack can mean fighting for one’s life. We have pointed out that the child’s version of both has this quality.
Best Family Law experts and Divorce Lawer in North Carolina
By: Harnett Lawyer
Tags: Divorce, Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Lawyer

Best Family Law experts and Divorce Lawer in North Carolina Harnett Lawyer ·Dec 21, 2020

Divorce Attorney and family lawyer

Divorce is a very common word in today’s world. Every couple trying to live their married life happily. But Due to misunderstanding and Disturbance, they decide to separate from each other and move towards the legal way to be separate from each other that process is called Divorce. Improper way divorce can spoil your life easily. So no need to worry about divorce, The best divorce expert near your location in North Carolina. Smith and Mark are the Best family Law experts and Divorce Lawer. Feel free to contact us @ (888) 930–6753 or visit our website: https://www.harnettlawyer.com/.
Lessons Learned from My Divorce.
By: Katrece Avery
Tags: Divorce, Marriage, Lessons Learned, Relationships

TBT: Circa 1990. Once upon at time I was married. I am honored and blessed to say I was married for almost 22 years. Never did I expect to not still be married. Being single for the past 8 years is still strange and foreign to me. I believe marriage lasts a lifetime and I am sad that we could not make ours work.

I am so thankful for although our marriage did not last, I was able to be a stay at home wife and mother. We raised four beautiful, sound, amazing children, who are now adults.

I want all the married couples, who knew me as Mrs, to know I pray for you earnestly. I am so thankful that you all have made it last and continue to make it work. Marriage is a full time job with lots of overtime. It requires the focus and dedication of both people. It gives me such joy to see that you are shining examples that love does survive and thrive.

To all of the newly married couples I know, I pray for your endurance and longevity. Love is a decision. Decide to work it out. Decide to communicate. Decide to put your spouse first. Decide to love each other forever. I know that is not easy. For I myself, failed at this regard. Looking back at this photo, I was a different woman. I am older and wiser now. I am still a hopeful romantic who believes in love and marriage. Your unity continues to feed that hopefulness. You all continue to inspire me that love and marriage do still exist.

Please take it from a woman who has learned from divorce. Never stop courting each other. Fall in love over and over again. Keep a special place in your heart that only your spouse may enter. Always, ALWAYS, see the best in your spouse. Take time out daily to give your spouse your full attention. Your spouse comes first even over self, both people have to do this in order for it to thrive. Cherish/Admire your spouse. Forgive quickly. Treat your relationship as sacred. No one is perfect, revel in their imperfections. Communicate, communicate, COMMUNICATE. Lastly, your spouse should be your best friend.

I still believe that one day I will marry again and he will be my best friend.

Love, peace and hair grease.
Amen.able
By: Mariet Shanouda
Tags: Moving On, Life Lessons, Divorce, Words Matter, Poetry

“Amen,” he says and brings me closer. He whispers God’s plan in my ear. My feet still tired from walking down the aisle. I stand up straight, like a soldier about to go to war. I look him in the eyes as the priest sings a hymn. For the first time, the word that used to carry me through storms takes on a different meaning. “Amen,” I say back accepting my fate. And on cue, the crowd shouts “Amen” in agreeance to my sentence.
The Epitome of an Oxymoron
By: Smillew Rahcuef
Tags: Relationships, Divorce, Love, Fiction, Flash Fiction

The Epitome of an Oxymoron

Jake always had an eerie aura to him after meeting with his ex-wife. No matter what, she meddled with his brain. There was no such thing as an innocent topic when these two met. Even the shape of the spoons on the table could be a touchy subject. One would expect this to be clearly established and widely accepted by now. But no, even round could be edgy with them.

Peter, one of Jake’s friends, had even set up a business based on these meetings. Once he knew about the venue, he reached out to the owner of the restaurant and made a deal, taking a cut on the customers he would bring at this particular date. He was selling the tickets under the catchphrase: «The divorcees’ horror picture show» — live — this Saturday only, at Venue X.

Front row seats were the best, and at the highest price, of course. But the last rows were quite a thing as well. Most of his regular customers (he did have regulars!) would take them after one or two performances. In the last rows, one could enjoy the food and have a decent conversation; without missing the highlights of the show. Jake’s ex-wife was always keen on shouting her best lines, and Jake would consider it impolite not to reply accordingly.

And if one got lucky, at one point during the evening, Jake would stand up and start pacing around the tables in rage. He desperately needed some physical exercise, some movement to avoid completely losing it and throwing the table at his ex. These scenes were the most appreciated. Peter always received glowing and lyrical praises from his customers after such performances.

It was mesmerizing for the audience to see Jake on the fringes of sanity. Clearly, a rational part in him understood he shouldn’t be there. He knew he shouldn’t have come in the first place, and it was even more clear to him that he should go now, run away, and never come back. Simultaneously, he was utterly unable to do so. Not only unwilling but strangely convinced that it wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe thinking that he should face his demons once and for all. It was hard to tell; everybody had a different theory.

The fact was that in these moments, Jake appeared as if in four dimensions. Some cloud materialized around his head, a reflection coming from an invisible mirror. It was a cloud of tension and stress, a nervous breakdown on the verge of enlightenment, the epitome of an oxymoron.
You did not just have an unhappy childhood. You were terrorized. Your parents, together, did this.
Tags: Divorce, Child Abuse, Adulthood

You did not just have an unhappy childhood. You were terrorized. Your parents, together, did this.

Yes, some people bring out the worst in each other. Their children’s lives are peripheral damage. Then in addition, people tend to bond by uniting against “others.” If their bonding is based on gaslighting their children, that continues to do harm and terrorize the children.

Stay true to yourself. You have figured this out and have a clearer view of reality because of it. Your writing is a force of good!
Divorce is not a bad thing
By: Riley Lopez
Tags: Divorce, Weddings, Marriage

27 March 2019

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Divorce doesn’t mean a happy marriage is over, it actually means a bad marriage is over, and before access to divorce improved in the 70s, people were trapped in awful relationships. Before the 70s, to get a divorce one would have need both spouses present. One would also need to establish fault, so if spouses wanted an easy divorce, they would need to lie to a judge. This was particularly bad for women because, in many states, domestic violence was not considered grounds for divorce. So they could become trapped in abusive marriages. All that changed in 1969, when Ronald Reagan introduced no-fault divorce, which made it way easier for couples to separate. The concept soon spread across the country and by some estimates reduced cases of female suicide by twenty percent. Divorce rose in the 70s, not because society was crumbling =, but because divorce was finally available to the people who really needed it.

The common concern of kids pops up in any conversation about divorce. Most sources say divorce is bad for kids, but in reality divorce is good for kids. Sure it would be hard at first, but unhappy homes are even harder. Research suggests kids tend to do worse when surrounded by constant parental conflict. In many high-discord families, kids experience relief after separation. For some couple divorce is the right choice and to them, it represents freedom. It’s a crucial, social right. When getting married couple hope their love lasts a lifetime, but if it doesn’t, divorce is an option, it is not something that should be feared or stigmatized.
My Midlife Crisis – A Successful Gen-X Man’s Voyage of Discovery: PART 2; Fred writes to his…
Tags: Self Discovery, Nigerian Writing, Midlife Crisis, Family Life, Divorce

My Midlife Crisis – A Successful Gen-X Man’s Voyage of Discovery: PART 2; Fred writes to his daughter.

Dear Chiamaka,

Daddy’s Princess. The Apple of my eye.

Writing this letter to you is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do.

Chichi Daddy, I’ve always considered myself a strong man. Writing this letter reminds me that in truth, even the strongest of men have their Achilles heel. Nnem, you are mine.

Tougher than writing this letter is the knowledge that my recent actions may irrevocably alter your perception of me. It also makes me realise how important it is to me that I remain your hero and the standard by which you measure every other man who comes into your life.

When you look at me with your eyes shining with so much confidence in my ability to make things right in your world, I feel 10 feet tall. Yet at other times, I am worried about my ability to adequately discharge the burden of responsibility that goes with that and I am sometimes overwhelmed by it all.

Chichi Daddy. Despite everything, your daddy is only a man; and there comes a time in our lives when we must all admit that we sometimes fall short of the standards we set for ourselves.

By the time you read this letter, your mother may have told you that I am filing for a divorce. Please Chi, forgive me for tearing the fabric of our lives apart. My actions have nothing to do with you, or your brother Afamefuna. It is not because of anything you have done or failed to do. Both of you are my greatest blessings and I would give anything not to disrupt your lives in this way. Yet I fear that on this occasion, I need to be selfish.

Strange as this may sound to you, I don’t know what that looks like. I am so accustomed to putting everyone else’s feelings and needs ahead of mine. I want to discover what I would do if I didn’t have to do that.

I intend to go away for a while and I will miss you terribly. This is a curious observation considering that you haven’t fully lived at home for a few years. Yet I will miss you.

I plan to do a bit of travelling. I am fortunate that I can run my business remotely and leave the day to day nuts and bolts work to my managers.

I hope you will agree to stay in touch with me Chichi’m. I will love to be able to write and tell you what I get up to. To share my experiences with you and to check on you

Nnem, I love you and I will answer any questions you have about what is going on. Remember this. I will always love you.

PS. Look after your mum. She is a good woman and will probably find this difficult to handle for myriad reasons. Please be there for her. I have been her support for so many years and this may be a challenge. Please take care of her for me.

With all my love,

Daddy
Divorcee#2
By: Binnie Thakur
Tags: Divorce Problems, Divorce, Divorce Attorneys, Divorce Lawyer

Divorcee#2

If we are divorced that does not mean:

a) I am having affair with someone else

b) I cannot adjust or compromise

c) I am tagged to be “characterless”

d) I am to be judged for my choices

It only means:

We are two different people with two different souls, who cannot be one, if forced to be one then one has to die.

Moral: don’t let you soul die OR suicide.
CINDY BAKES THROUGH A DIVORCE. The BEST Homemade Biscuits Recipe
By: Ariel Elias
Tags: Home Cooking Recipes, Satire, Divorce, Biscuits, Recipe

CINDY BAKES THROUGH A DIVORCE

Have you ever had a hankering for real homemade biscuits? No, not the kind you can just open from the can and pop into the oven. I’m talking about the kind of biscuits that take WORK, that you put your heart and soul into. With a homemade biscuit, the ingredients come together in perfect harmony, creating a marriage full of layers that would never fall apart just because some hot, younger biscuit came along with NO regard for what you’ve built in YOUR home. A homemade biscuit is complicated and maybe it’s not perfect but it’s the imperfections that make it perfect and unique and yours, and guess what, Keith? EVERY BISCUIT GETS STALE EVENTUALLY, KEITH. WE ALL GET OLD, KEITH.

You won’t believe how easy this biscuit recipe is to make! After months of tinkering with the ingredients, adding this and taking away that, I look around my new apartment and think, ok, I can do this. I can make this my own. Because for the first time in my life, I’m really alone. And maybe that’s a blessing. Keith got the house, of course, because he “actually works,” as if raising three kids and keeping a clean home for twenty-three years wasn’t work???

So throw on your apron and let’s get messy!

INGREDIENTS:

2 C flour (wow he literally never brought me flowers)

1 TBSP baking powder

1 tsp salt (less if you are currently sobbing)

⅓ C butter (cold, like Keith’s love-making)

1 C buttermilk

1 TBSP sugar (sugar is optional — I am in the best shape of my life, by the way)

1 C shredded cheddar cheese (the easier it falls apart, the better, apparently)

DIRECTIONS:

Mix together the dry ingredients, which, by the way, happens to every female ingredient in her 40s. It doesn’t mean you just give up on her and make her feel bad about her own body! Cut in the butter. Make a well in the middle of the bowl. Stare into the void. Wonder where you went wrong. Surely you’re not blameless in all of this. Add buttermilk and cheese into the middle of the well. Using a fork, slowly pull in the dry ingredients. It’ll thicken, start to resemble dough, as you try to pinpoint the exact moment you lost yourself in this relationship. You realize you don’t even know how to be flour without the buttermilk anymore. Where does one end and the other begin? I know we had our problems, but we were good together, damnit. Knead the dough. God it feels good to be needed. Fold the dough in thirds, like a letter you’d put into an envelope. I should write Keith a letter. Use a cookie cutter or a wine glass still stained with last night’s bottle of red that you downed to form the shape of the biscuits.

Bake the biscuits at 425 for 13–15 minutes and enjoy! It’s a great excuse to invite over the girls for brunch. Maybe Keith’s love for me ended, but the mimosas will be bottomless!
The Storm
By: Tessa T
Tags: Rain, Short Story, Divorce, Sad, Poetry Writing

It wasn't raining.

When they first got together, it was nice. Simple, easy— they gelled. A year later, they had a kid on the way and the children from his previous marriage, now eighteen, were left to fend for themselves as their dad started over with a twenty-four-year-old. They had a big wedding with the white dress and the dancing— it was nice, normal. Easy.

After the first baby— a little boy with the brownest eyes and the chubbiest cheeks —they started on the next. Another boy followed near-exactly twenty-one months later, this one with the blue eyes of his mother and a silent smile he rarely showed. One calculated procreation event occurred twelve months later and that summer, a baby girl joined the mix. This one had neither of her parents' eyes, but instead the hazel-grey of her father's father, along with a headful of black hair matching most of the people of her father's side.

They named each of their children after the husband's heritage, ending up with Light, Gift of God, and their little girl, Harvester. The second meaning— the one chose not to acknowledge —fit her better. The Reaper. A year after she was born, her father's father died, leaving her the only person left in that family with hazel-grey eyes. As she grew up, her father would change— or maybe his true colors would be revealed —and it would start to rain, to pour, to thunderstorm. But, that wasn't how it would start.

In the early years, the family threw parties and went on expensive vacations, careless despite how careful they acted. They laughed and smiled and acted like nothing was wrong or ever could be wrong. They were

.

Nobody realized that it was starting to drizzle.
Erika and Tom Girardi Divorce has Done over Tom Girardi Cheating
Tags: Celebrities Divorce, Tom Girardi, Divorce, Cheating, Erika Girandi

Erika and Tom Girardi’s divorce has done over Tom Girardi’s cheating. Erika Girardi believes her ex-husband Tom Girardi had multiple affairs during their 21-year marriage.

A source said that Tom’s alleged infidelity was the reason for the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 49, to file for divorce from the attorney, 81, last month.

The source said, “The reason she divorced Tom is because he was cheating on her with multiple women.”

Another source close to the couple said, “she’s known about his infidelity for years, but wanted to try and save the marriage.”

She added that when Erika was performing her last week on Broadway, Tom left her high and dry and was frolicking around town instead of supporting Erika and attending her shows. “She realized she would never be a priority to him and that was her breaking point.”

The Reason for Erika and Tom Girardi’s Divorce is Cheating

“The split was a long time coming. The lawsuit just coincided with her decision to leave him,” the source said.

A complaint was filed in early December accusing the couple of using their divorce to embezzle money.

According to Erika Jayne’s divorce filing, she sought spousal support from Tom Girardi and asked to pay her legal fees. At the same time, Tom requested to terminate the court’s ability to give Erika spousal support and asked that she pay his legal fees.

The Bravo star said that the divorce was “not a step taken lightly or easily” in a statement last month. “I have great love and respect for Tom and for our years and the lives we built together,” she said.

She added that she wishes to proceed through this process with respect and privacy that both Tom and she deserved. She asked others to give them that confidentiality as well.

A source announced that it was not uncommon for the now-estranged couple to go several months without seeing each other. “They would travel separately.

The source said Tom gave Erika a very lavish lifestyle, and she enjoyed it. Erika has increased her independence and confidence from being on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The publicity it has given for her singing career has given Erika a much larger fan base.

As Erika opened up in 2018, they first met each other while Erika was cocktail-waitressing at the Los Angeles restaurant Chasen’s, and Tom was a regular. After a year of friendship, he asked her out, and they tied the knot in 1999.

Erika was previously married to Thomas Zizzo. She shares her 26-year-old son Tommy Zizzo with him.

Other Possible Reasons for their Divorce
Many lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people come out years after they have been married to…
By: Loren A Olson Md
Tags: Relationships, Bisexual, LGBTQ, Marriage, Divorce

jandruk/DepositPhoto/94683984

Many lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people come out years after they have been married to an opposite-sex heterosexual wife or husband.

These Mixed-Orientation Relationships (MOR) upend the lives of both members of the couple. Some have renegotiated the relationship to remain married. Others remain bound together in resentment. Some betray their vows with chronic infidelity.

These couples have three choices:

Fix it

Get out

Put up with it

Many of these people ache for just one person in their life with whom they can be genuine and authentic. But shame and guilt present a barrier to disclosing their conflicts with anyone.
My story. That’s a tricky one.
By: Kira Hollinbeck
Tags: Divorce, Emotional Wellbeing, Self Discovery

My story. That’s a tricky one.

To begin, I am that person walking down the street who no one seems to see. Average. That is one word to describe myself. Nothing special, or over the top. Average clothing, average makeup, vocabulary, and even an average life story. The only thing not average is my mind. My thinking. I was an art student. And while I no longer have a passion for picking up a paintbrush, my mind is filled with the color of everything left to imagine.

I am a child of divorce. My parents separated when I was six years old, and I forever have the memory of the day they told me what was about to happen. After that, I stayed low-key. I do not know why, but I am told that it is because of some sort of trauma I developed when my father moved out. I became soft-spoken overnight and had very little people to that I felt I could talk to. Today, I sometimes still feel like this is true. Whenever I meet someone, something tells me that I have not earned the right to make small talk with them.

Because of this, it has become very hard to express myself. My heart has hardened and this makes it very difficult to create any sort of relationship with any person in my life.

I have decided to begin writing. Perhaps sending my thoughts and ideas out into a void, where I do not need to hear criticism, I can once again feel safe to express myself out loud.
Thanks Laura!
By: Carla D. Wilson Laskey
Tags: Divorce, Marriage, Research

great article! I love the way you bring in both your personal story with the research!

3 1
How to Save Marriage.
By: Adeem Tahir
Tags: Relationship Advice Women, Relationships, Marriage Counselling, Marriage, Divorce

1:The 30-Minute Rule:

Set a “rule” whereby you must wait at least 30 minutes before you mention something (ie. something critical, “nagging,” or anything that might result in an argument) to your spouse. Taking 30 minutes to think things over before bringing up a complaint or issue allows you to cool down, step back, and take a look at the bigger picture. Sometimes you may realize that whatever it was you were upset about isn’t worth an argument, and other times it may just give you time to think about how you can discuss the topic with your partner in a civilized, non-confrontational manner.

For remaining 2 more points you can visit here:
Divorcee #1
By: Binnie Thakur
Tags: Divorce

Divorcee #1

She:Wish I was widow than divorcee

I:Why

She: people would have empathised than judged me

Moral: magnitude of pain might be different but it hurts both ways.
The Year that Changed Everything
Tags: Separation, Breakups, Divorce, Affairs, Love

Photo by Dylan Ferreira on Unsplash

Before Covid, I was having an affair for nearly two years with a guy I used to think I loved.

We used to meet every four weeks, and we maintained our bonding through daily texts.

Our meetings were amazing, but the work it required was exhausting; we were both married.

I have no doubt we liked each other, but we never even contemplated an overnight; we just met during working hours.

Covid didn’t help us, and I decided to break up.

This was my first break up of 2020, and I did go through a grieving process even though it was a very superficial relationship.

Then I met the man who gave me the strength to leave my marriage.

Leaving my husband was my second break up of 2020, a big one as it involved me leaving the house and making a completely different and unusual arrangement for the kids and life as I knew for the past 14 years.

Myself and then AP signed a lease and moved in together, and our relationship lasted four months.

This was my third break up of 2020.

I didn’t get sick; I didn’t lose my job, My kids are happy and healthy, my husband turned out to be a great former husband, I live in an amazing apartment that was just possible with the help of a former AP, that I couldn’t have met if I didn’t break up with my two years affair in the first place.

The most truthful thing about a broken heart is that Time heals all wounds.

And I would say, even more, It makes you realize how wonderful are all the bridges sent on your way.

I am the happiest I have been in a long time because I can finally be me; all the breakups, instead of breaking me, made me whole.

2020, the year that changed everything, inside and out.
Thank you!
By: Vinita Ramtri
Tags: Poem, Relationships, Kindness, Divorce, Love

Coach, author, finance professional and single mum. I live in London, my heart lives in words. https://www.linkedin.com/in/vinitaramtri/
Is Madea Star Tyler Perry Single? New Phase of his Life — US day NEWS
Tags: Madea, Celebrities, Celebrities Divorce, Divorce, Tyler Perry

Is the writer, producer Tyler Perry single since he is in a midlife crisis? Multiple award-winning filmmaker Tyler Perry has taken to Twitter to confirm that he is single at the age of 51.

The Madea star is likely going to be ringing in the new year as a single man; however, it seems that Tyler does not know what to do with the next phase of his life.

The 51-year-old actor-producer randomly announced the news while sharing a new selfie on his Instagram page on Wednesday, December 16.

Tyler claimed that he’s currently in a midlife crisis, as he posed in his workout outfit that gave a clue at his buff physique. He rocked thick facial hair while his face revealed a blank expression.

He said in the caption, “This is what a midlife crisis looks like. I’m 51, single, and wondering what the next phase in my life will look like.”

The star added as he was staying positive, “Whatever it seems like, I am going to walk with God, I am going to be the best father and man I can be, as I hold my head up high, and try to look my best doing it!!”

Is Madea Star Tyler Perry Single Following his Split?
My Secret to 31 Years of Marriage to my Perfectly Imperfect Husband
By: Carla D. Wilson Laskey
Tags: Life, Humor, Marriage, Divorce, Advice

What You Should Know Before you Marry

Photo by One zone Studio on Unsplash

Regardless of all the beautiful wedding pictures like the one featured above. Truth is. There are no perfect marriages. Period.

This is because there are no perfect people. Not one.

Since there are no perfect people. There obviously cannot be any perfect marriages. This is not rocket science.

So before you marry. My sound advice to you is to completely let go of the “our marriage will be perfect” idea. It is not true. It will not happen. Because real-life marriage is no fairytale.

Trust me. I have been married to the same man (my college sweetheart) for 31 years, 3 months, and 25 days. And although I am happy to say after all these years. We both agree our marriage falls into the category of being a good one. Even so, it has been far from perfect.
Few years back, i was just a programmer.
By: Grant Scot Hack
Tags: Cheating Spouse, Infidelity, Hacking, Blackmail, Divorce

Few years back, i was just a programmer. An 18 year old girl messaged me and told me some people have her pictures(inappropriate) and she is being blackmailed. She begged me to help her get her pictures out. Just a programmer, i couldn’t do much, she cried. I felt her pain and that pushed me to learn more. Now a professional hacker for hire.