The Best Spots to Spank Her
By: Emma Austin
Tags: Advice, Relationships, Sex, Women, Life

Lots of women are into being spanked, but very few of them want to be hurt.

I have my share of kinks. None of them involve getting bruised or feeling any pain. But they very much involve getting my ass spanked, slapped, and paddled.

I’m into the dynamic it creates.

Being on the receiving end of a good spanking involves giving myself over to my partner. It’s putting my trust in him and giving up some control. And that kind of thing puts me in a headspace I love being in.

It also makes me feel submissive. He’ll give my ass exactly what it wants and all I have to do is lie there, gasping from pleasure, moaning my appreciation, softly whispering “yes” when he asks if I want more, and arching my back to present my ass to him.

But what I love even more are the sensations that come with a good, firm spank.

A lot of people who haven’t been on the receiving end of one imagine that it’s painful, but it isn’t. At least, it doesn’t have to be.

The best way I can describe is that it’s intense. It’s like a jolt of good feelings are slapped right into your ass and start coursing through your body.

It’s pure pleasure, and you can practically feel the endorphins and adrenaline taking over your brain during a good spanking session.

And then there’s the arousal.

Spanking is fun throughout any kind of action you’re having, but it makes fantastic foreplay. Every set of spanks feels like it turns my arousal up a notch. By the end, I’m ready for anything. I’m practically breathless with desire. I’m pushing my thighs apart, hoping I get fingered. I want to be taken.

But it can all be ruined if it isn’t done right.

When the intense feelings turn to pain, it takes me completely out of the moment. If I get spanked too hard or in the wrong spot, it can take me out of my safe, relaxed, subby haze. And instead of ramping up my arousal, it pulls it back.

It’s the same for most people. That’s why if you’re going to spank someone, it’s worth learning how to do it — and especially, where to do it.

Get Her Ass Ready

You don’t need to get your lady wet before spanking her, but you still need to warm her up before you smack your palm against her cheeks.

Warm her up physically by rubbing her ass, stroking her skin, or slowly pulling down her pants if you’re going to spank her through her underwear.

Start with a few gentle hits to get her used to the physical sensation and get her in the right mindset for more.

Ideally, you won’t put a lot of strength in your smacks until she’s already flustered from the hormones coursing through her.

Use your voice, too. Talking dirty to her is a great way to turn her on and get her in the mood for what you’re going to do to her.

Dirty talk will also make her feel a lot more connected to you. She’ll feel a lot safer and relaxed than she would be if you were spanking her quietly.

So, utter a few filthy phrases for her. Tell her how incredible her ass looks when she’s lying across your lap or bent over for you. Tell her that it’s just asking to be slapped.

Punctuate your spanks with rhetorical questions like “You love it when I smack your like that, don’t you?” and “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to get my hands on your gorgeous ass?”

Saying the right things will have her squirming in anticipation and make her enjoy the spanking even more.

You should also build up to the spanking with some seduction. A slap on the ass when I’m in the middle of a flirty exchange feels amazing. One that’s completely out of the blue, not so much.

A spank that takes her completely by surprise is more likely to be painful and unpleasant, even if you don’t deliver it with a lot of force. So, make sure you create the right context for it. Chase her a little, get her worked up, kiss her and squeeze her hips before letting your hand land on her ass.

Her Spanking Spots

The main area you should be spanking are the fleshiest bits of her butt — square in the middle of each cheek.

That’s where she can take the most impact and feel the intensity without too much physical discomfort.

Spanking between her cheeks makes for a particularly intense but good spank, too. She’ll feel it mostly in her ass but the stimulation will reverberate to her pussy as well.

Avoid spanking her too high. Her lower back is going to be very sensitive to pain, so inching higher will quickly take you out of her pleasure zone and into some painful territory.

In general, I’d avoid the top of her ass altogether. Spanking takes some practice and there’s a good chance your aim isn’t quite as good as you think it is. A slight slip-up can ruin everything when you’re spanking her in that spot, so treat the top of her ass like a buffer instead of a target.

Plus, the top of the ass isn’t the most pleasurable place to receive a spanking anyway. Neither of you are going to be missing out if you avoid it.

The sides of her ass are also a bit risky. A smack on the hips or just below them isn’t as bad as a hit to the lower back, but it’s still not a pleasant feeling because there’s less muscle and fat there to take the blow.

Slapping the lower part of her ass is safe, though. I love feeling a good underhanded slap clapping against my butt. It delivers a really sharp, deep intensity and it’s also a pretty natural spot to aim for when she’s bent over.

And if you miss, it’s not such a big deal because the back of her thigh will be able to absorb the blow as well as her ass can.

If you do give her thighs a slap, though, keep in mind that the inner thigh is particularly sensitive, so either avoid it or give it only very gentle spanks.

If she isn’t a lady you’ve been spanking regularly, you’ll want to start off by exploring her ass and what it can take.

Start with soft slaps and slight taps. Build up the intensity gradually so you can gauge how she reacts and where her pain threshold is.

Pay attention to her body language, to the way she moans and groans, and to the way she tenses up. Ease up if it seems to be a little much for her.

And make sure you’re getting direct feedback from her. You can establish a safeword and check in with her once in a while to ask if she needs to use it. Or you can ask simple questions like “Do you want it softer?” or “How does that feel?”

If you do that, you’ll basically have a mental map of her ass — which parts can really take it, which parts are more sensitive, and how close you can get to her hips before it crosses into discomfort.

And I know that part of the fun of a spanking is the surprise of getting smacked. I love the little shock I feel every time Mr. Austin’s palm makes contact with my skin. But asking for that feedback isn’t going to spoil any of that. She won’t know exactly where your hand will land, at what exact millisecond it’s coming, or how hard you’re going to it. All she’ll know is that she won’t get hit where she doesn’t want to and it won’t push past her pain tolerance.

Vary Up Your Spanking

Unless you’re just giving her ass a few sharp smacks, you should vary up your spanking.

The reason a spanking crosses into painful territory isn’t always because you hit the wrong spot or your hand landed a bit too hard. Sometimes, it happens because you’re doing the right thing but just doing it too much.

Repeatedly smacking the same spot will make it more and more sensitive. So make sure you throw in some softer hits once in a while and focus on different parts of her ass.

You can also stop spanking completely to give her ass a bit of a break. Keep touching and engaging with her between spanks so she keeps her head in the game and stays turned on. Rub her butt, stroke her skin, whisper hot words in her ear or tease her a little. Give her ass a good squeeze while you tell her what a tough girl she is. Or give her thighs a few slaps.

Those little breaks don’t have to last long. They can just be ten to fifteen seconds, but it helps her recover and makes a big difference.

Pussy Slapping and Tit Smacking

I used to have a very hard line when it came to smacking tits and, especially, slapping pussies.

I’ve softened a bit this year, though, because I’ve been on the receiving end of some pussy slapping that I wasn’t mad at.

It’s gone from a no to a yes for me, but it’s still a very qualified yes. It’s very easy to get it wrong and overdo it.

What anyone needs to understand before going at her pussy with an open palm or giving her a snack on the tit is that those are very sensitive areas and should be treated like it.

Never smack her pussy the way you would smack her ass. Give soft taps. Hit it as gently as you hit your palm when you’re giving fake, polite applause.

It won’t feel like you’re giving her a lot of impact when you do that, but it’s going to feel really strong on her end. Those soft taps on her pussy are going to be the equivalent of a sharp, firm slap on her ass.

And be aware that it’s not something most women are into and you need to get consent before smacking her anywhere other than her butt.

Start Practicing

If you’re with someone who loves a good spanking or just wants to try it out, it is absolutely worth getting it right.

A good spank will make her hornier, it will make her feel dirty and naughty, and it will make you seem more confident and dominant.

So take the time to study up. Learn the right techniques, hone your spanking skills, and smack her right where she wants you to.