Parenting: Why It Is Important to Have A Required Parenting Class
By: Rachel Zigrest
Tags: Parents, Class, Parenting

Having a child is a big responsibility. Therefore, before having a baby, to be prepared for pregnancy and how to safely take care of the infant when born, many future parents attend a training class or program, however it is not required. Why are parents only required to take a parenting class once an issue had occurred between them, their child, and the state? According to “Parenting,” a book by Patricia Maloney Markum, high schools have developed parent training programs to make the youth aware of what it is like to care for others, provide knowledge in child development and growth, and train for parenting responsibilities.

Parents are one of the most important figures in a child’s life. Parents are a child’s first teacher. Children are very observant to behaviors and actions from their parents, thus having a higher chance of acting on their opinions and values and having the same views as them in the future. According to psychologists, there are four main types of parenting. The types include, permissive, authoritarian, neglectful or uninvolved, and authoritative.

1. Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents have very few demands for their children. These types of parents rarely discipline their children due to their low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents tend to be very loving and nurturing to their children. Yet, they provide few guidelines or rules. These parents are more often seen as a friend not a parental figure. When the parents give their children rules, they are very inconsistent. To get a child to behave or listen they often use briberies such as toys, gifts, or food. Instead of emphasizing their child’s responsibility, they emphasize freedom. They also may ask their child’s opinion regarding a major decision. Finally, they rarely enforce any type of consequence, due to them not wanting a negative relationship with their child.

Effects On The Child

Permissive parenting has multiple negative effects on a child. It often results in their children not being happy and having low self-regulation. These children may display low achievement in multiple areas because they had nothing to strive for since their parents had little to no expectations of them. Due to not having to rules to follow, these children have a higher risk of making poor decisions. In addition, they do not have good problem-solving and decision-making skills. Studies show that children with permissive parents may be prone to delinquency and substance use. They are more likely to engage in misconduct and involving themselves with alcohol or substance abuse. Specifically, in one study it showed teens with permissive parents were three times more likely to engage in heavy drinking. In another study, it showed that children of permissive parenting were more likely to be the victims of bullies.

2. Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting is strict and stern. Authoritarian parents expect their children to follow strict rules that are established by the parents themselves. If the children do not abide by the rules it results in punishment, some being more severe than others. Usually, the parents do not explain the reasoning behind their rules. These parents have high demands but are not responsive to their children. Much is expected from their parents and they must behave exceptionally. Parents give little to no direction of what the child should do or avoid in the future. Authoritarian parents are also seen as dictatorial.

Effects On The Child

Children who come from an authoritarian household may have a lack of social and resource skills and have behavior or emotional problems. Children from authoritarian families are less resourceful, less socially-adept, and are more likely to be involved in bullying, both as victims and perpetrators. In a recent study in 2016, of U.S. college students, it was found that students raised by authoritarian parents were more likely to engage in acts of bullying. These parents think enforcing good behavior through threats, harsh punishments, and other forms of psychological control will work. This does not result in long term behavioral improvements; it does the opposite. Children subjected to authoritarian tactics tend to develop more externalizing behavior problems later. Some may have suffered from depression and anxiety. Also, in 2016, researchers found kids with authoritarian fathers were more likely to suffer from a psychiatric disorder. Some other effects include self-control issues, low self-esteem, fear or shyness. Finally, since these children aren’t encouraged to explore and act independently, they do not learn how to set limits and personal standards. This then leads to problems when not being monitored and told what to do by their authoritarian parents.

3. Neglectful Parenting

A third type that is not as deeply investigated as the other three types that will be talked about is called uninvolved or neglectful parenting. Parenting this way shows few demands, low responsiveness, and very little communication. These parents sometimes fulfill the child’s basic needs but are generally detached from their child’s life. Which can lead them to not even know their child’s favorite color, food, or best friend. They lack closeness with their child and show no interest or engagement in the responsibilities of raising their child. The children end up having no guidance, structure, rules, or support. In some major cases of this style, they can reject or neglect the needs of their child, which is one of the worst things you can do as a parent.

Effects On The Child

Children that have neglectful or uninvolved parents, do not receive the attention, care, and support they need. This is the lowest ranking type of parenting and no one should be inclined to parent this way. Children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers. They feel unloved, unappreciated, and unseen. Some parents may be physically abusive which can mentally affect a child due to this behavior from the parent. Not taking care of a child’s physical or emotional needs beyond the basics can also lead to problems within the child.

From A Personal Experience

Unfortunately, I have witnessed neglectful or uninvolved parenting within my house. It was not directly towards me, but towards my nephew. My sister had a child at the age of sixteen and was not mentally ready to take on the role of a parent. As she got older and as my nephew got older, the neglect started to show. She started leaving for weeks or months and not talking to him. He was not receiving the love he needed from his mother. My parents and I were always there, and he lived with us, so we took care of him and gave him everything he needed. Just the fact that he did not have his own mother there would upset him. He would listen and behave when my sister was not here, but when she would come home, he would act out. He did everything and anything to get my sister’s attention because she barely gave it to him. It is extremely unfair to a child to not receive the love and support they need from their parents.

4. Authoritative Parenting

The fourth and final parenting style that will be discussed is authoritative. Authoritative parents establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. If something was not followed, they can be nurturing and forgiving and not so strict with punishment, depending on the rule that is broken. They are responsive to their children and willing to listen to their questions. Since rules are explained to them, they will listen to them. They understand why the rules exist. These parents expect a lot from their children, but they provide warmth, feedback and adequate support. These parents are assertive to an extent. Parents want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible. They need to be self-regulated yet cooperative. This type of parenting is seen as the most reasonable and fair, so their children are most likely to comply with their parents’ requests. It requires a lot of patience and effort to make sure everyone is being heard.

Effects On The Child

Due to the loving and supporting environment their parents give them, this type of parenting produces the healthiest outcomes for children. The children are independent, have self-control, and are self-regulated. They are also happy, capable, and successful which is important. Children with authoritative parents have higher mental health scores than children who were parented in other styles. In 2012, researchers found that children raised this way have higher levels of self-esteem and quality of life rather than those raised other ways. Also, The Department of Health and Human Services claims that these children are healthier. They are less likely to have substance abuse problems, engage in unhealthy sexual behaviors, and be violent. Little to none of the effects of this type of parenting is negative on children, which is why it is proved to be the most reasonable and healthiest type.

Required Parenting Class

All future parents should be required to attend a parent training class. In this class the four main types of parenting, permissive, authoritarian, neglectful or uninvolved, and authoritative will be taught. Parents will be educated on the differences between each style and the possible consequences their child may face due to each style, and the basic and developmental needs of a child. There are clear right and wrong ways to raise a child and this class should explain to parents what those ways are. This proposal of the training class is not to force parents into a certain parenting style, but to make them aware of how their parenting can affect the outcome of their child.

Having a parent training class is important. Daniel Engster and Ramiro Gonzales wrote,

“Behavioral parenting training classes aim to break cycles of poor parenting habits across generations, by making new parents aware of their parenting attitudes and actions, highlighting the consequences of their attitudes and actions, and providing them with better parenting behaviors”.

This class will educate future parents on what each parenting style is and how each way could potentially affect their child. This class will be in effort to improve parent-child-relationships, improve child development, and reduce child abuse and neglect. Many cases of child abuse and neglect are not always looked at in the United States because here they only investigate if there is an official report. The class should be about eight weeks long. The purpose of this class is not to tell parents how to parent, it is to make them aware of the different ways to parent and the consequences of each way, they then can still choose however they want to parent. Hopefully, they choose a style that does not negatively affect their child because then the class had no purpose.

The class will include learning the four styles and the basic needs and developmental needs of children. Children need food, shelter, physical safety, and emotional security. Children cannot get their own food or sustain reasonable shelter, so that is why it is the parent’s responsibility to make sure they always have both. Children cannot protect themselves from other stronger children or adults, which is why they need your physical protection. A child’s mind is continuously developing so they need you to help them understand certain concepts that they cannot on their own. Children also need support in developmental needs such as, social skills, career abilities, and internal skills. Children need to learn how to communicate their ideasand desires with others to be able to fit into society. To become adults in the real world, children need to learn new things inside and outside of school, their abilities will help them get a career in the future. Children also need to learn how to cope with situations and be happy with themselves. Learning self-confidence and emotional maturity will help learn face their difficulties in life.

The class will also touch upon the eight things children need to thrive in life. This includes, security, stability, consistency, emotional support, love, education, positive role models, and structure. Children must feel safe. They need their basic survival needs such as food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and protection from harm. They need a stable household. Parents should synchronize their parenting ways, so their important values stay consistent. You need to encourage trust, respect, self-esteem, and ultimately independence. It is important that as parents you are saying and showing love to your children, even if they disobeyed, angered, or frustrated you, they need to be assured that you love them. You need to provide the best education, having them attend school, and you giving them life lessons. You are your child’s first and biggest role model, make sure to teach them empathy. The final thing is rules, boundaries, and limits. Children are forced to adults in the future before they are ready, they lose respect easily if you do not give them a good structure.

“No one should tell me how to raise my child.”

In opposing my proposal of the training class, parents shouldn’t have to be required to take the class because every child has their own needs. They also shouldn’t have to spend money on classes because everyone should raise their child their own way. Which is exactly what can happen, but they will be required to take the class for education purposes and then can still choose how they want to raise their child.

How Will It Be Paid For/Make Parents Attend?

I intend for this class to be paid for through increased taxation. Having it being taken out of taxes will be cheaper. To make every new parent attend, public benefits to the parents could be offered. Parents can be on a paid leave of absence by the state to attend the classes so they cannot say they have no time. Also, money could be offered as a reward of completion which will then help the parents pay for their future child. Only parents who attend the whole eight-week course will get the benefits and or money. This should then motivate people to attend the classes because not only will the money be through taxes which is less money, but they will receive a reward after which can benefit their family financially.

Let’s Sum It Up

In consideration of future children’s needs, a parental training class should be required. It is important to know the basics of child development and child needs as a parent. The outcome of your child should be a focus to you also. The future needs children to turn into happy, successful, and self- regulated adults. By attending this parenting class, parents will learn the four main types of parenting. The types include permissive, authoritarian, neglectful or uninvolved, and authoritative. Each type is different in their own way and children are affected differently. Having this type of knowledge should help reduce incidents of child abuse and neglect. This class does not tell a parent how to parent but make them aware of what the style chosen can do to a child. Attending this class should not be a time or money issue either due to the state paying for time off through taxes and paying you after completing the course. If something is not changed by the way people are parenting, children will not get better and the next generations will not thrive.