The process of taking the first step
By: Nika M
Tags: Taking Action, Perception Versus Reality, Process, How To

I’ve had my share of situations where I stepped out of my comfort zone and into the area where I have little-to-non prior knowledge. From alpinism to this little endeavour. And although the areas vary substantially, the anatomy of a process is similar for all of them.

Shift in perception

It all starts with our subjective perception. It determines how we interpret the world, it’s our own personal subjective truth, and it’s in my opinion a key enabler for motivation and setting things in motion. It’s more important for our actions than the universal truth of the world, as we experience the world not as it is, but as we perceive it.

When we are in a balanced state, we perceive the situation as comfortable. Not necessarily optimal — this would be an ideal case — but the things that bother us are small enough that we choose to tolerate them to preserve the state where we don’t have to act. The threshold for when the things become to big to ignore depend on each individual, but I think in general, it’s quite high as it seems as a species we’re prepared to go to great lengths to maintain the known state of balance, and avoid investing energy into change, and maybe more importantly, avoid the unknown. When in this state, we are not in a state of mind to set any great things in motion, or to step out of our comfort zone.

But then, sometimes, our perception changes, and we come to the realization that the situation at hand no longer suits us. This may be due to change in the universal truth of the world (an example of that would be a global pandemic), the change of our personal situation (for example we transition from student to full-time employee), or in third case, they both stay the same, but we discover new facts that adjust our personal perspective (for example we discover that someone we trusted was not acting in our best interest — it may have been going on for a while, but the point when we discover it is the point when we start perceiving that person differently). I think this third situation, where there are no objective changes to external world, can sometimes be interesting, as we start analysing why our perception was as it was before, and we can start seeing past events in a new perspective. And I think we sometimes over-compensate in that and it can cause us to question things that we once took for granted. We also tend to regard our new perception as the one that is correct, which may not be the case. So I think perception is a very dangerous thing to play with.

Working with virtual reality flight simulators, I encountered an interesting case that supports this and has actually spurred the whole analysis of perception vs truth. We strive for immersion — the simulators have a physical cockpit, so that the pilot’s seating position and movements are identical to one in the real aircraft, and a detailed 3D model of the cockpit that is shown on the VR googles. All so the pilots feel as close to the real thing as possible. I’ve spent a fair amount of hours in the sim, often doing stuff that one would not want to try with the real aircraft. I was usually interested only in segments of flight when we were tweaking the physics and I combined aggressive use of controls with keyboard shortcuts to get to the part of interest as soon as possible. So I came to the point when my muscle memory learned that I can treat simulator controls as a toy, and that it’s all a game that can be re-set. And I became to wonder if this would carry over to the real aircraft. (With simulators, you want to avoid negative transfer, and I think this is a prime example.) I had the chance to test it during my few flying lessons, and though I knew perfectly well, that I’m not in a sim, I caught myself thinking about the thin line between sim and reality a few times, and I’d bet that I could potentially find myself in a situation, where I would be overloaded with information and I would instinctively react as in a sim. And while this case is extreme, I think one should still be careful when playing with perception, as we can’t always predict the implications it has.

So, let’s say our perception of our situation changes and the change is large enough that we want to do something about it and step out of our comfort zone, into the unknown.

Gathering information

The first thing I do is try to gather information about what the unknown is. I try to prepare myself and research the area. I use the internet, books, take classes, and talk to people that are experts in the field or have already gone through what I’m setting up to do. I think this phase serves two purposes — the first and obvious one is to learn enough to be able to prepare a plan for what to do, and the other, equally important one, to acquaint yourself with the field on a personal level, to be in touch with it and to slowly internalize the idea that you’ll actually do something in this field — to shift your perception of yourself.

I think that’s a very important step of the process and it enables you to believe that you’ll succeed, which is a prerequisite for actual success. For me, it helps to talk to people — both to people that have already succeeded in the field, as it shows me that it can be done, and with people that know me, and bounce my ideas off of them. If I get the response that they think it’ll work and I can do it, it’s a confidence boost, and if they don’t see me doing it, I ask them about what they think the obstacles will be and then research it and see if it’ll indeed be a challenge for me. So either way, I’m better prepared.

And when we’re talking about people, it always helps to know you have a safety net, which I’m very fortunate to have. It also helps to have accomplices or someone to take the journey with you. This way you can share the burden and responsibility, as well as have someone to carry the idea when one or the other has doubts. Which will inevitably happen, and as long as the periods are short, it’s okay. One endeavour that I definitely wouldn’t be able to pull off myself was enrolling into an alpinism school. It was my idea initially, but when we applied with my fiancée, I didn’t really believe we’d actually go through with the whole thing — I thought we’d only do selected topics. But he had this confidence from the start that first, we’ll be able to do it, and second, we’ll enjoy it. And he was right.

One more thing to mention is a backup plan — I think one must at least consider what happens if things don’t go as planned, as this is usually how life goes, but I don’t think one should spend too many resources here. After all, we’re aiming for success, so that’s where our focus should be, so I usually just breeze through the possibilities here and make sure that there’s no catastrophe waiting for me.

So, it seems that this phase is a broad one. And as important as it is, it has the potential to turn into a graveyard for our project if we spend too much time here. Because yes, we need to prepare, but we also need to be aware that as long as we’re in this phase, we’re not yet actually doing anything, our project is not yet moving forward. We’re just preparing. But we are investing time, so it feels like we are doing something. And therefore this can quickly become an excuse to stay in this comfortable risk-free phase and do the talking, but not take actions. I just need to take this one more class (about a topic that I’ve already taken classes about). I want to do some more research (about this thing that I’ll probably need to know 10 steps from now) before I can actually do it.

Sounds familiar? I think a lot of project die here. With people becoming experts on the theoretical part, but never actually doing anything in practice.

So, how to find the right balance between being prepared and immersing yourself in a never ending limbo of over-preparing?

For me, the first thing is to be really critical about the material Ichoose to consume. After the initial broad scan of the area, I focus only on topics that are really important for what I’m trying to do, and I’ll need them in the near future. I also try to select the best thing I can get my hands on and be effective with how I spend my time. One sign of over-preparing is when the information starts to repeat, or when I’m dealing with a topic I find interesting, but is not in correlation with what I’m doing, or it may be of use to me some years from now.

But I think if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, we know where that line is. The question is just whether we have the courage and willingness to admit it.

Because if we do, then it’s time for the next phase.

The execution

Now this is the part where we actually jump into the unknown and start doing actions that will take us closer to our goal. It’s the scary part that becomes less scary once you’re in it and it starts gaining momentum and once the positive feedback loops start working.

And this part really depends on the project and an area, but the general guidelines that you’ll hear everywhere are that you need to stick with it no matter the initial stumbles. That it’s okay to fall if you then get up. You must be willing to respond to feedback and modify the plan. It’s okay to realize you need to learn some more theory (as long as it’s not an excuse to run back into the safety of the previous phase) or ask for help (as long as you’re not expecting that others will do your project for you).

I think you also need to allocate enough time for it — give it a high enough priority on your to do list and be willing to sometimes sacrifice other things. And have tools to measure the progress. I usually have three sets of goals — one are day to day tasks that I can cross from the to do list and will get me to bigger milestones, that take a bit more time to achieve and that are the obvious mid-term goals for the project. And then I have the third set, the goals that I don’t yet quite know how to achieve and that scare me a bit, but that inspire me and provide a source for motivation, when the day-to-day tasks drain it.

But other than that, I think there’s no secret recipe. (Or if someone knows it, I’d love to hear it and be proven wrong!) You just have to take it one step at the time, keep kicking, and chip away one more piece each day. And find a balance in life that allows it not to feel a struggle, but a sustainable way of life.

To taking the first step!

Nika