The Truth Behind Why People Give Up
By: Chris Teutsch
Tags: Self Improvement, Goals, Inspiration, Health, Self

Why People Give Up

Our brain can only focus on the risk, threat, or the potential for danger to avoid pain and discomfort.

The problem with this self-defense mechanism is that on the journey toward achieving your dreams and living the life you desire — You will face countless risks. You will no doubt have to face pain.

It might be the pain of rejection. The pain of disappointment. The pain of temporary failures. Or even just the pain of waiting.

The desire to avoid pain is why people give up and settle.

They settle to “play it safe” thinking they’re better off not pursuing their dreams because it’s hard and pain will be involved. What they don’t realize though, is that the pain of regret will hit them later on.

Most people choose comfortable roads and easy paths. So if you do what is easy? Your life will be hard. Not taking the risk for your dreams and desires is hell. Choosing to settle for comfort is the worst risk you could choose to take. Because one day, when all windows of opportunity have closed for you, regret will be your companion for the rest of your life. That’s the worst pain of all because at that point — You can’t change it. More on that later.

Pain is inevitable. It will find you in some way, shape, or form. This is a good thing.

Why is this good? Because pain forces us to grow. Pain forces us to adapt. You see, we humans are adaptation geniuses. We can use cognitive thinking to adopt new behaviors to adjust. We adapt, adjust, and change through pain, stress, and friction.

When you choose to do the hard things now, later on down the road, your life will be easy.

Training Makes Your Fear-Based Brain Stronger

In the gym, we learn first-hand that pain is your teacher. It’s essential. It stretches us and forces us to tear down who we currently are. Literally!

The act of working out, especially lifting weights, actually tears our muscle fibers apart on a microscopic level. This is done by putting ourselves through the pain. Putting ourselves through resistance.

When we are in a set, the pain builds up. We start to get tired and sore. Our form on the movement might waver. This is when pain is taking over and that stupid little voice in our head enters our inner dialogue:

“This hurts.”

“This is uncomfortable.”

“Stop now and the pain will stop.”

“Stop now and it’ll all be over.”

“You’re not strong enough.”

“You’re too weak.”

“You’re gonna get hurt.”

“Quit.”

Every single person on Earth feels pain and has this voice. This voice tells you these lies that you aren’t good enough, strong enough, fast enough, tall enough, smart enough, talented enough, or pretty enough. It’s simply there to get you to give up on the risk and avoid the pain. It wants you to go back to that place of comfort and security. It wants you to settle.

Now, something else to note: Every person who went on to achieve their dreams — and the life they desired — has heard this voice and felt the urge to quit.

Every president, leader, monarch, soldier, CEO, celebrity, and athlete has felt these same urges. They just refused to listen to that voice and didn’t mind the pain. In fact, they learned to embrace it, stayed the course with their purpose, the vision of what they wanted and who they wanted to be.

What if Abraham Lincoln had given up? What about Steve Jobs? How about Walt Disney, Oprah, Steven Spielberg, Bruce Lee, J.K. Rowling, Elon Musk, The Beatles, Harrison Ford, Gandhi, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nicola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Harriet Tubman, Thomas Edison, Winston Churchill, Nelson Mandela, and the Wright Brothers? I could go on and on.

If You Want to Win, You Have to Endure

The one common trait or quality that all these people had and have is perseverance. Specifically, their ability to persevere through the pain.

I’m grateful that these individuals I listed persevered. Not only did they change the world, but they serve as living examples of what’s possible when we face pain and do not give up on our dreams, vision, and goals.

In the process of working out, taking martial arts, dance, or any physical discipline, pain is a part of the game. We’ve all heard the cliche saying “No Pain, No Gain.” Cliches are there for a reason, they’re normally true and there’s wisdom in them.

The first week of working out is awful. You’re tired and sore and feeling pain all over. Hurting in portions of yourself you didn’t know you had. But over time? The pain doesn’t last as long because our bodies are recovering and adjusting to the process. Adjusting to the resistance.

We learn to endure.

Eventually, we no longer seek to just hit our ten reps or whatever our goal for the set is. Instead, we look to smash that goal and exceed it.

Champions don’t just show up to their workout to check the box. Their work starts when they’re tired and when they hit the pain. When the pain sets in, that’s when they start counting.

When we face this pain through our physical disciplines day in and day out, we keep introducing ourselves to it. We get comfortable in its presence. We are adapting to the experience and we eventually become immune to it.

We make a habit of facing adversity each day during our sets. We step up to it over and over again in the gym so that when adversity arises in life, we don’t back down. We keep going until the pain sets in. And when it does? We don’t quit. Instead, we choose to live in that pain for a few more miles or a few more reps. That’s how we grow.

When we choose to push past the failing point and push past the pain — ignoring that little voice that fills our head with self-doubt and we choose to do those extra reps, drills, and miles — then something extraordinary happens.

After we press through, going further than we thought we could go, the pain leaves, and pride takes its place. We feel incredible. We feel powerful because we could have quit when things got tough and we could have listened to that voice and given up, but we chose not to.

We chose to persevere! We chose to endure and in doing so we discover that there’s more in us than we originally thought.

We uncover that “hidden quality” or that “special sauce” that those individuals I previously mentioned discovered that helped them change the world.

So now, we have opened a new doorway in our minds. The old doorway identified risks and brought you to a safe place. A place that avoided pain. But this doorway? It opens you to a world of pain with pleasure and pride on the other side of it.

Life doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It is all about balance.

Light/Dark. Male/Female. Yin/Yang. Up/Down. Negative/Positive. Pain/Pleasure. You must walk through the mud in life if you ever want to get to the higher ground. Meaning, if you choose to endure pain today? You will experience pleasure later on.

But if you choose to avoid pain? If you choose the easy road? The comfort zone? The known doorway? If you choose pleasure today? You will no doubt experience pain in the future.

Do What Is Hard Now and Your Life Will Be Easy Later On

What is that pain of the future? It can be summed up in one word which I mentioned earlier and bears repeating: Regret. And if I’m honest? It’s my biggest fear.

I don’t want to look back on my life, on my deathbed regretting a single thing. I don’t want to settle now knowing that I let my fear run the show. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Fear of falling. Fear of discomfort. No.

Face the pain today for tomorrow’s pleasure.

I want you to go to the dungeon, the dark place in your mind, and I want you to be able to thrive in it. I want you to be able to exist in it knowing that no matter how hard life can get, you can take it. You can endure it and overcome it.

Now, when you leave the gym, you have that sense of pride. That sense of accomplishment. That sense of confidence knowing that the old you would have quit, but not this new and improved version of you.

As you go about your life, you will experience pain and discomfort in other situations and realms. There will be painful experiences with pursuing your dreams. There will be painful situations with your job. Pain with relationships. Pain with finances. Pain with your family.

Except now? You aren’t afraid of the pain.

You now know that when you face it and when you endure? On the other side of the pain is a reward. You will run at the fear and the discomfort. You will not quit in the face of this adversity. You will not give in just because things get difficult. You will embrace the pain. You will get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Sounds intense? You’re damn right it is. Why? Because we get one life. That’s it.

And in this life, everything is abundant except for one thing. You can lose money and jobs and lovers but you can get those things back! The one thing that we cannot get back is time. It’s depreciating. It’s fleeting and it’s always moving.

I do not want to see you waste what little time we have just because life can be “uncomfortable.”

Growth is painful. Change is painful. This is the way. It is part of nature and the universe. Knowing this, thicken your skin! It’s like when you take Tylenol too much, your body builds up a tolerance to it. It is the same thing with pain. The more you embrace it when it comes, the less affected you will be when going through it.

You can face the pain now and reap the rewards later on. Or, you can avoid it and settle into your comfort zone only to invite regret in as your companion for the rest of your life.

It’s up to you.