The Psychology of an “Ugly” Teen
Tags: Adoption, Psychology, Teens, Brain, Depression

A dive into 3 topics discussed in Psych1 by Claire Murphy.

Beauty is psycological. They say life’s beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but what in life can be beautiful when the beholder themself doesn’t feel beautiful.

In psychology we learn that different parts of the brain control different things. The cerebrum, the cerebellum, the brain stem, all split up into parts like the frontal, parietal, temporal, and occipital lobes, the thalamus, the medulla, the pons, and more are all parts of our brain and each play a key role in allowing our brains and our bodies to function. The section of the brain that controls emotions is the limbic system, which includes the amygdala, hippocampus, and hypothalamus. Studies have shown that when this part of the brain is affected by hormones, sleep deprivation, intoxication, or mental illnesses like depression or anxiety that it affects the body as a whole. Teens today struggle with all of these. Sleep deprivation from staying up late doing school work or having night time be the only time they can escape from their realities. Only to find that they can’t sleep because their anxiety has produced so many toxins that are keeping the body in a hyperactive state, so instead choose to go on their phones and scroll through social media until they can no longer keep their eyes open. Teens are pressured by their peers and by the image of an average teenager portrayed in film and TV today to drink and do drugs so they can feel like they fit in. Drug companies like Juul and Vape companies intentionally make their advertising more appealing to these vulnerable teens to drive up their sales, because teens are more likely to become addicted. Mental Illness in teens is at an all time high. More and more adolescents, teenagers, and young adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Instead of finding the roots of these problems we decide to either blame it on the teens, or prescribe them drugs that could potentially have negative affects on their hormones and brains later in life.

So what does all this have to do with beauty? A teenager who suffers from lack of sleep, which lead to anxiety and depression, which led them to turn to drugs and alcohol to feel better is also the same teenager who makes self deprecating jokes about their body and personality. This is the same teen who will turn to her peers and offer them help at any and every chance because thats how they feel needed and wanted. Depressed teens care less about their hygiene, school work, and well being, and when they are confronted about their lack of showering, falling grades, or constant mood swings, they often respond with “im fine”, “I don’t care”, or can even get angry. These teenagers don’t feel beautiful. No matter how they act in front of others, they are struggling with demons on the inside who make them think on a constant basis, “You’re not good enough. You’re not pretty.” Beauty isn’t only about looks. It’s about how a person feels on the inside, and what their brain is telling them.

An example of a teenager who is at a high-risk for depression and anxiety are adoptees and teens in the foster-care system. Teenagers who have been adopted or who live in foster care not struggle with missing genetic information and the question of where they come from, but also separation anxiety, and familial rejection. It is very common for children who have been adopted to feel rejected, abandoned, and seperated from not only their birth parents but by their adopted family as well. These feelings of loss and rejection are often accompanied by a damaged self esteem and guilt complex. The feelings of depression and sadness they feel when they think of the loss of their birth parents can lead them to feeling guilty and like they are wrong for not appreciating their adoptive family. They don’t want to hurt their adoptive family. When they are left to think alone in their room at night why didn’t they want me, why did they give me up, they fell trapped, and without an outlet for these questions they can feel depressed and start acting out. While searching for your identity as a child, having to battle such intense conflicting feelings is hard. That’s why it is important for parents to reach out and why some adoptions are call “open-adoption”, meaning until the adoptive parents feel its necessary, the birth parents are free to visit and be part of that child’s life. Although this is not always the choice made by the adoptive family or the birth family, it is still important to make sure a child if feeling comfortable in their environment, even if they grew up with their adoptive family from the day they were taken home from the hospital. These feelings can arise at any point in the child’s life.

To bring it back to life’s beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, teens today who deal with all sorts of mental blocks and hormonal changes that their brains can be their biggest enemy. Beauty is to not only be beautiful but to feel it, and most of the time thats the hardest part. When it feels like everything is pit against us it is easy to fall back and just float down the river waiting for life to just pass us by. What is important is to understand all the feelings you have, take control, and tell yourself that you are beautiful because you believe it. It doesn’t matter what that other girl thinks, it doesn’t matter if your sister thinks you look bad in that dress, if you want to be beautiful, all you have to do is say so.