Groups within Groups: The End of LGBTQ+?
By: Sean Bennett
Tags: Transgender, Identity, LGBTQ, Community, Creative Non Fiction

Image by wokandapix / Pixabay

To say that I have been lucky in my life would be an understatement. I am white, male, well-educated, and middle-class, all of which provides me with a level of privilege that is quite frankly head spinning. The only area in which that unearned parade of privilege breaks down is in terms of my sexuality, on account of the fact that I am gay.

Even there I have little to complain about, though. My family and friends were all very supportive when I came out, I have never been the target of any truly horrific homophobic abuse and, in general, my life proceeds quite smoothly, unaffected by my queerness. All in all, I can’t say I have had it bad at all.

As a writer, I often find myself waxing lyrical about the LGBTQ+ community, or typing out furious tirades against bigotry and ignorance in a vain attempt to help my queer brothers and sisters in the only way I know how. I write on these topics constantly, doing my best to contribute to the cause for equality and acceptance.

But, in truth, I sometimes feel unqualified to fight that fight. Within the LBGTQ+ ranks, I am all too aware that I am one of the most fortunate. I can’t really provide any personal angle on trans issues or bi-erasure, any more than I can give personal accounts of going to war or meeting the queen. The fact that I occupy the same acronym as these people hardly seems reason enough to claim to have any insight into their lives and struggles.

Therein lies the problem.

The Many Faces of LGBTQ+

I love the queer community, but increasingly I find myself wondering if it really is that — a community. The sheer range of people, the broad spectrum of identities, which are packed into one group is mind-blowing. Spanning sexualities, romantic preferences, and gender identities, the LGBTQ+ community is a veritable kaleidoscope of humanity, and to simplify that complexity down to one overarching label seems at best counterproductive, and at worse reductive.

We in the queer community should, of course, support all of our comrades in every corner of the LBGTQ+ acronym, but I’m not sure we can reasonably call ourselves one group. Rather, we are more of a collection of individual, separate, communities who are allied, but very much independent.

My concern is that the nuances of our various existences and unique experiences are lost in the broadness of ‘the community’. Our unity gives rise to issues, like when people claim to be LGBTQ+ friendly, when in fact they’ve only ever thought about the L and the G.

Moreover, the progress made in gay rights over the last few years seems to be more and more taken to generally indicate an improvement in LGBTQ+ rights by the media and by ignorant individuals. The fact is, while gay people can now marry and live fairly freely in much of the western world (though there is still a lot of work to do), trans and non-binary people are currently experiencing levels of oppression and hate hitherto unseen in recent years.

Progress in one area of the community doesn’t translate to progress in all areas of it. That is a notion which we must dissuade people of, lest parts of our community are left behind, forgotten while others of us enjoy the progress of the ages.

Trouble at Home

Let’s also not forget, uncomfortable though it is, that there is plenty of bigotry and intolerance within the queer community itself. Bi-erasure is rife in the gay community, while transphobia rages across the board. How can we in good faith call ourselves a community and fight for universal tolerance from the world when we can’t even seem tolerate each other?

I have had conversations with other queer people about transgender issues that wouldn't have been out of place at a conversion therapy camp. I’ve sat in gay bars, those bastions of queer safe spaces, only to hear people declare openly that they could ‘never be with a trans person because it just wouldn’t feel right’. Phrases like ‘it’s a sickness’ or ‘it’s not real unless you have surgery’ may not be as common in the LGBTQ+ community as they are in the world at large, but they are still there. Queer society fails miserably at being a reliable safe place for trans people, so what right do we have to claim the mantel of a ‘community’?

As for bi-phobia, I am ashamed to say that many of the stock phrases that have caused so much hurt to the bi and pan community have tumbled from my mouth in the past. I was never directly hateful or intent on causing offence, of course, but I was ignorant and uneducated on queer matters. Back in my school days, for example, I distinctly remember telling one of my closest friends that he was just using bisexuality as a ‘stepping stone’ to coming out as gay.

Yep, that old chestnut. That offensive, delegitimising, ignorant chestnut.

The fact that he did eventually come out as gay is completely and utterly irrelevant. Regardless of whether someone is comfortably bisexual or still coming to terms with their sexuality, it doesn't change the validity of their identity at any given time. This, unfortunately, appears to be something that some people in the queer community still need to learn.

If an LGBTQ+ person reveals their identity to you, the only appropriate response is to accept it. There is no debate to be had, no questions to be asked. Their identity is theirs and theirs alone. You have precisely nothing to do with it.

I look back on that conversation with deep regret. My only response should have been acceptance and praise. After all, he had the bravery to come out in high school. It took me until halfway through university.