When We Can’t Accept The Truth | Real Talk
By: Xagon Speaks
Tags: Positive Thinking, Review, Blogging, Blog, Post

Good afternoon ladies and gents of the X-Army, hope you are having a Merry Christmas. Welcome back to Real Talk, a segment where I give my honest opinion on things I feel need discussing. Today I will be going in depth on the notion of dating with baggage and people who are delusional enough to think that they can request a certain level person while not expecting to change their own issues. When we give them the truth about their faults, why is it hard for the next person to accept it and work towards being a better person? It seems some people may have missed this class, so I am here to give my 2 cents here. Without further ado, let’s jump in.

What Is The Realistic Expectations In Dating?

Realistic Expectations itself is when we go out with the person we are interested in or has shown interest in and we have a good time in each others company. Realistically you will not have much of an idea of who the person’s entire back story is, so we go in expecting them to ask us question and in-tern we do the same. So to sum, we expect to get to know each other, make the other person feel as comfortable as possible, not placing too much emphasis on the first meeting being more than it is, and just enjoying a period or conversation and a meal. The story I am about to jump into shows me that most people in today’s society doesn’t seem to grasp that concept.

“You’re Average At Best” Viral Video

So this brings me to a story, or more so a video, where a single mother in her mid-to-late 30s when on a YouTube Matchmaker’s channel for advice on finding quality men. Now we all have an ideal of out ideal person who’s characteristics, personality, and traits matches everything we have in our head, but remember what I gave as examples of Realistic Expectations. We can have these mental images or check-lists of what we need in the person we are looking for, but those go away when we realize no person on this earth will check every box we have on a list in our head. Keep it realistic. If you aim too high you only disappoint yourself and the potential person who could be close to what you are looking for goes away.

Anyway, back to the story. So this woman is a small business owner, a single mother of a young child, and her criteria for her ideal man blew me away. Must have a six figure income, must not have kids, must have investment in stocks, and many more musts. So she is looking for a top percentile quality man and she also mentioned she will not lower her standards. So the matchmaker asks her what her business specifically is and what she intends to bring to the table. Her response was one of the most mentally confusing things I ever heard an adult say, and I am 31. She said that the man who have to accept her as she is and that she will not change, also on the plus size she is a hair-dresser who’s business is blowing hot and cold.

The next part of the interview, Kevin Samuels takes the kid gloves off and asks her why any man of quality would want to choose her over the many options he has? She mentioned her personality, which I found horrid, the fact she is independent, and that she is a strong woman. Now those things are great to heard in terms of being mentally healthy, but it didn’t answer his question specifically. Would you go the extra mile for him like you insist he does for you and do you plan to being the kind of woman he wants, she said no. He has to accept he as she is. She then went on a tangent and said that she considers herself a top quality woman. Now here is where I knew, and any person watching the video knew, she messed up.

He asked her to give herself an honest and realistic rating of herself. She said a 5 on a good day but her friends told her she is a 4 in the past. Now I am not here to judge a soul on looks, that’s not how I personally judge people, so when she did this I was shocked. The matchmaker told her she was average at BEST and the kind of men she wants won’t want her when he most likely has an abundance of options. The conversation took a turn when she went silent and presumably was taking what the guy was saying as a learning moment, but boy was I wrong. The realistic thought in me was saying that she is probably digesting the information and will work to improve on what she can. Her attitude, personality, and how she carries herself. The backlash was pending people.

Victim-hood Is Now Acceptable |

The time I saw the video I thought it was just a small thing, but it blew up to levels I never knew. The damn thing went viral. Feminists, wing-women, and others who give dating advice jumped on Kevin’s case for how honest he was and how he spoke to her. For being too honest and judging him on his appearance. This left me confused. I go to therapy to hear honest perspective of how I can change my own life after bitching about how I feel. It’s a service I intentionally went to and know that I will be told things I may not want to hear. It’s ultimately why I am there in the first place, so why did she expect different going to someone about honest dating advice? Video after video of women attacking the guy for telling her his honest thoughts based on the delusions she has and what she expects to manifest.

Either the man was honest and told her the truth or lied and fed her inflated ego. He chose the route of honesty and I am confused to know why this was an issue. I see people, both men and women, give men dating advice and are told the honest truths of themselves. From their personal style to how they walk. For many a year I have see videos when men a broken down with honest and hard truths to work through to be the kind of person they want to be. Why is it so different for this woman and why are people defending her? It doesn’t help in the fact that she is going out there playing the victim care and acting as if she is not the one who seeked out the man’s opinions in the first place. I don’t understand the death threats and suggested violence against the man, but credit to him as he is standing his ground. He refuses to back-down for speaking the truth and not being intimidated.

In Conclusion |

Overall what this shows me is that the concept of honesty and giving opinions is not seen as a good thing. This is one isolated cased, but everyone these days are extremely sensitive and soft that the truth is a hard pill to swallow. I am by nature an introverted shy man, but the things I heard said to this woman was nothing compared to what I have experienced. Being told you are average looking may dent one’s ego, but you can make the best of it. I myself don’t have it made in the shade, but I work with what I have and move forward. I am not in the dating game for a variety of reasons and I know that women don’t really get rejected much as they are not the pursuers, but is this how some women are in their delusion of what they expect? I would be stupid to generalize women because there are amazing women on this planet, but the ones who are full of themselves need to take a step back and re-prioritize what they expect from a man and what they themselves plan to bring to the table. It may be harsh, but it is something you have to think when bringing someone else in your life. Even as a single mom. Keep things realistic people and be honest with yourselves.

Thank you so much for checking out this Real Talk post. Stay tuned for my review of the new Wonder Woman movie. As things slowly get back to normal, I want to put out the quality content I have been for the past few years for you all. Have a Merry Christmas and be safe out there. Take it easy!