Just one day of a jobless felon
By: Heather Hartberger
Tags: Job Hunting, Addiction, Probation, Justice, Prison Reform

I suppose you are reading this catchy title and thinking I am about to tell you a story of someone I know. Well if only that were true then I guess my day would have been better but no, I am the jobless felon. Nice to meet you.

I will give you a little background about myself. I am 49 years old and was released from prison last year. I grew up a normal, nice life. I went to high school, community college, had friends, had fun, all the normal stuff. Just I am not normal I suppose is the kicker in it. My adult life started out with good jobs and living nice however I developed this nasty drug addiction and so all goes down the drain. I will skip forward all the fun times though and bring you to where my title is with me today. Jobless and to make it better, at the end of a pandemic when everyone is out here looking for jobs. No problem though because many places are hiring, I have applied for so, so many jobs. I sit and apply on this laptop for hours and hours and well yes, I am still sitting here.

So now you are up to speed for the most part. I start off the day feeling good, nothing really scheduled or lined up for the day. Then I’m checking my emails and lucky for me I see my probation officer’s name so I feeling enthused now. What more could put a smile on my face at the start of the day. So I open my email and it’s very short, oh ok, he wants to know why I quit treatment. Funny thing, I would like to know too. So when I first came home, I went to an outpatient treatment group, graduated, took him the certificate months ago and as I can now see, he was very impressed, so much he don’t even remember it. So I tell him I didn’t quit, I finished and gave you that pretty certificate with the thoughts it would be hanging over your dining room table at your house as we speak. Ok so I didn’t tell him quite like that but I was surely thinking that. So his response and before we move on, let me make it clear that just because I have admitted myself to you as a felon and a drug addict in recovery, it does not, does not mean that I have memory lapse or that that I am just well, just stupid. Ok so his response, he knows I completed it, but he thought i was in treatment at another place, that is the response. Ok, that just doesn’t even make sense to me. I am completely stuck. I am thinking so this probation officer, who is in charge of me thought that I completed a treatment program and then went into another one immediately. Ok, so I am trying to figure out where in this world is there anyone who just checks in and out back to back because they love spending their entire life in treatment centers. I explain to him, no I finished the first one so there would be no reason that I would be in another one. I haven’t failed any drug tests mind you so what is this guy thinking. What would be the reason for this. Well I am here to tell you I don’t know the reason now no more than I did a few hours ago when I was speaking to him. I could not win that battle. WOW! They say pick your battles wisely and I guess I didn’t. My story just isn’t adding up to him. Regardless of that certificate over his dining room table showing I finished that I am sure his wife and family admire daily, I should be in treatment somewhere else. It would not make any sense if I don’t just go to treatment and go to treatment and well let’s see if I just can’t make a career of this because what the hell. I am jobless so if I can just stay in treatment I won’t have any bills either. You and everyone reading this can just pay for me to do treatment for life as it is the tax payers pocket that foots that bill. So I would like to tell you that we got that settled out but no, I could not make that explainable. So that is how the conversation ends with him. What I was saying was making no sense and it ended and I suppose he thinks I am running wild in the street with pockets full of drugs because I didn’t get two rounds of that good, good treatment. I feel like there was some huge lacking of common sense in this whole situation. It doesn’t sound right to me. Someone needs to open a file, take a look, maybe there will be some notes somewhere. So I guess this will continue another day I am sure.

Next I get a call from a perspective employer that I have applied for a job with last week. Now things are looking up today. Last week I was a little discouraged as I had two interviews with a major company only to end it with being hired as soon as I pass there background check. Wonderful I said to the man who is never going to see me again. Today is going to be a different day though, I am about to get a job. So all I need to do today is take a little assessment online and then they have a training group on Monday coming up so I may be working soon. Well I am slightly quicker and far more intelligent than you would expect from a crazed, defiant drug addict ex con. I have got through my assessment with flying colors and now, I am ready to be hired. What, what are you saying to me. You need to get me to sign papers for you to do a background check. Oh ok, let me get my signature on that for you and it will be the only thing you have left to remember me by and I am out the door. There has got to be a better way than this. Mind you, these have both been remote work at home jobs. What could go wrong, I can’t fathom it. I cannot get a job as a felon working in an atmosphere with absolutely nobody around me. Am I a danger to anyone. Well, well I am just going to let that go and maybe the next one will be better.

So here I am, sitting on my couch, applying for jobs online as I will probaly sit and do this for hours til I cannot hold my eyes open. Not a very exciting day in my life, honestly isn’t. It’s just the little things like this though that I know send some of these people out here over the edge. I take it all in stride and as I said, I really will keep applying. I will keep pushing forward. I will actually get a good job with good pay and I know that. I am very intelligent. I have been to college and I am actually in college now to get another degree but at the end of the day I am still a felon and I wish that there was a better system out here that recognizes that I am very well qualified if not over qualified for these positions and I am not violent and I deserve a chance at these jobs. There are so many people out here struggling like I am and so many really, desperately need that money and that job to take care of their families. This country we live in has a higher incarceration of it’s on people than any other country. We have a mass incarceration going on here and with that many people in and out of prison for this and that then when that number of people are out on the street and not allowed to work, then it only adds to the problem.

Thank you for reading my little story. I can assure you there will be many more to come as this was a simple day and I do definitely have many from my actual incarceration. Today has nothing on those days. Luckily I can find humor in just about anything or I would not be who I am today. I would have lost my mind at some point.

Thankful for people that stand by me that I hold it together but everyone doesn’t have that. We got to get out there and change some things for people.