Black Girl; Space Snatcher.
By: S. Suzette
Tags: Black Women, Equity, Black Mental Health, BlackLivesMatter, Inclusion

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

Thinking deeply on what it means to “take up space” as a black woman.

This is a conversation I avoid publicly but muse about often privately. I never desire to be another voice in a crowded conversation. I am learning, however, when it comes to inequity, you can never have too many voices advocating, exhorting, and invoking.

Equity is not given. It is demanded, taken, and created.

We as black women often find ourselves apologizing for so much. We apologize for absentee fathers and the fallout from that, we apologize for failing, we apologize for succeeding, for being loud, for being bossy, for not being black enough, for being too urban, too educated, too expectant. We even apologize for being disappointed, if anyone has the right to be, it is US.

Again, things I muse about but never discuss in public forum.

To “take up space” is a charge given in an article I read about a woman I deeply admire.

The thought of doing so causes an apology to well up in my throat. “I am sorry for deeming this corner inefficient for my greatness. I need more space to expand” is what I hear myself say. The space we are given as black women is just too small. I am going to go on record and say that.

I do not believe God said “let us make man in our image”, proceeded to create women, from this pile emerged the black woman and he pointed and said “All of ya’ll, yup…with the melanin…squeeze into these tiny boxes. Be disrespected by your men, overlooked in the workplace, unappreciated by the greater populous, and smile while doing it.” Nope, I do not think that was God’s intention.

God’s intention is for us ALL is to shine. In his image he created THEM. So, black girl, it is not your work to shine it is your nature to do so.

Light takes up space.

I had an incident with a man in the parking lot at Best Buy today. Apparently, I was taking too long to pull out the spot I was in. He couldn’t help himself and began to pull into the space before I could completely back out. I called him everything BUT a child of God. All the while he looked at me like I was an alien from Mars, completely out of my mind for being upset at his rude gesture.

As I drove away all I could think was “He wanted MY parking space while I was STILL parked in it. Instead of WAITING for me to move, he decided he would TAKE it”. Something so small brought on the feelings of centuries of rape and robbery. The habit of snatching space FROM black women is not a white problem — it is a people problem. A practice that has been normalized and championed even by black men.

I feel it when we are sexualized.

I feel it when our standards are trivialized.

I feel it when our desires are demonized.

I feel it when we bear the brunt of black men traumatized.

Snatching space seems to be a habit black women must learn.

Taking space. Without explanation. Without apology. Without thinking twice.

And in closing. There is not a space that black women have historically occupied that didn’t create MORE space for everyone ELSE.

We never have tasted the benefits of inequity; therefore, our pallets are not tainted.

We embody equity. We are justice. Taking up space is our gift to the human existence. I will handle this with grace.

And make no apologies about it.