fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
5 Great Ways To Start A Super Conversation In A Group Situation
By: Madness Poadcast Blog
Tags: Skills, Self Development, Tips, Inspiration, Conversations

Super Conversation In A Group Situation

Starting a conversation is not always easy. Especially when you don´t feel comfortable with the people you are conversing with.

There could be an eerie feeling of awkwardness at the start of the interaction unless you know the five secrets…

Here are five secrets to starting a great conversation with a group of people:

1. Get everyone involved.

When starting a conversation, introducing people to each other could be necessary. That is if you don´t know each other or some of those present don´t.

Then, connect one of your groups to the topic you are talking about by inviting him to contribute. Or you might simply relate one person to another with their commonalities to encourage dialogue.

2. Choose a topic.

When starting your conversation, choose a general topic. One that everyone can relate to. This will let everyone feel that they belong. This is a great way to encourage everyone to share ideas.

3. Do not drill with questions.

This should be avoided especially when asking one person only. The person may feel that he or she is facing a firing squad. Asking too many questions to a person may let him or her feel uncomfortable.

By doing so you might give that person a reason to leave the conversation. The others may also feel uncomfortable with this — they might think that they will be asked next!

4. Break the ice.

At first, there may be awkwardness among the group. You can work to break the ice. Each one of the members is just waiting for someone to do this. You can do this by cracking a joke to make them laugh. You can also start by telling a story. This may lead them to share their story, too. Then, everything will follow.

5. Ask open-ended questions.

These require a more than yes or no answer. These questions will make the flow of your conversation much smoother if done intelligently. These questions can even lead you to another topic.

Asking questions allows you to quickly test the waters to see which topics people are interested in discussing. Just be careful to ask with a pleasing tone.

It is not necessary that you use all of these tips or to use them in order. You can simply choose which ones are most appropriate for the situations you find yourself in. What matters is using these tips to kick off a conversation in a positive upbeat tone.

Once you start experimenting with new ways to start conversations you will notice what works best for your personality. At this point, it will all be much easier and before you know it you may even enjoy meeting new people.
還好，還好 ─ so so
By: Australasia English
Tags: Learning, English, Learning Language Tips, Education, Conversations

As an English teacher and consultant in Taiwan, I find that we are constantly correcting students and clients on their daily conversation and communication skills as well as their sentence structure and grammar

This also involves correcting “Chinglish” idioms and expressions such as “So So” — when I ask a student how their day has been and they respond with So So….I joke around and say “what what — do do you you mean mean by by so so” — and let students know that there are many politically correct options to this answer such as “average” or “not very good” — or they can use idioms like “nothing to write home about” or “middle-of-the-road” to explain their feelings….this leads into deeper discussions on expressions and useful sayings which can vary from country to country that have English as their native language.

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身為台灣的英文老師和顧問，我很常糾正學生們的每日常對話和溝通技巧，以及他們的句子結構和文法。

在糾正的這些錯誤裡頭，也包含了不少”中式英語”的表達方式，像是”so so”，當我問學生「今天過得好嗎？」，最常得到的答覆是”so so”，而我會開玩笑回說” what what — do do you you mean mean by by so so”。

到底還有哪些正確的用法，可以取代”so so”呢？

取而代之的回覆可以是” average”或”not very good”，甚至可以使用諺語，例如 “nothing to write home about”或”middle-of-the-road”來表達當時的心情。而這樣的回覆也是開啟更深入對談的方式之一，不過即便是在英語為母語的國家，習慣的用語也會不同呢。

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Ways to Use Video to Drive Traffic and Conversions.
By: Insights Success
Tags: Marketing Strategies, Youtube Marketing, Video Marketing, Website Traffic, Conversations

Videos are one of the most effective tools to market business. Videos help the audience connect with products and services in a better manner. The right video marketing plan can boost web traffic and increase conversions.

Video marketing is not limited only to YouTube; it could just be used on any social media platform like Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. It has been estimated that video marketers get 66% more leads and experience a 54% increase in brand awareness per year.

Video marketing is not just about posting any video, but more about how you develop a successful marketing strategy template from that and use them to drive further traffic and achieve conversions.

Video making is an entire process, and it involves efforts to convert it into a great marketing tool.

Here are some simple ways to use your videos for driving traffic and conversions:

Create great YouTube thumbnails

Awesome YouTube thumbnails are a great clickbait. They increase your chances of getting clicks manifolds. There are many online tools available, like Canva, with the help of which you can easily make professional-like graphics for your thumbnails.

Create good intros, outros, and promos for your video

You must create awesome and engaging promos, intros, and outros for your videos. You can use many templates to make promotional videos, intro and outro maker templates which are available online, and then edit them properly before using them for your videos.

Define your marketing campaign goals

Before starting a video marketing campaign, you must conduct proper research related to your target audience; create content that resonates with them, and then make a selection of channels you want to market your content Creator to. Unless you market your content on the right platform, you cannot expect your desired results.

Do not forget to define goals like awareness, sales, or traffic, while you make your video marketing campaign. Now is the time to give the right tone and messaging to your video so that you can make a connection with your target audience.

To get great results, try gathering some consumer insights before you plan the launch of your video. This will help to optimize your investment in the video.

Use compelling headlines

If your headlines can turn the heads on then more than half your target is achieved. If the headline is not catchy enough to hold the attention span of the viewer, then all the hard work you did in creating the video will go in vain.

Your headlines must be able to drive the traffic by promising to solve a problem your viewer is looking for and should be able to connect intellectually and spiritually.

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Continue Reading: https://www.insightssuccess.com/ways-to-use-video-to-drive-traffic-and-conversions/.
Conversation is indeed the most easily teachable of all arts.
By: Unknown Writer
Tags: Conversation, Conversation Habit, Lifestyle, Proper Conversation, Good Speech

Conversation is indeed the most easily teachable of all arts. All you need to do is to find a subject that interests you and the listeners; these are hobbies to talk about. But you must talk of others hobby not yours. Therein lies the secret of your popularity. talk to your friends about things that interests them , you will get good reputation for good fellowship , charming wit and brilliant mind .there is nothing that pleases people so much as your interests in your interests.

1.You must know the subjects to avoid like the ones you select .

2. Avoid unpleasant topics like sickness and death.

3. Avoid taking about yourself unless you are asked to do so.

4. People are interested in their problems not in yours.

5. To be a good conversationalist you must know how to say things.

6. be civil and modest.

7. Don’t overemphasize your importance. Be mentally quick and witty.

8. But don’t hurt others with your wit.

9. You must avoid mannerisms, biting lips, clicking tongues ,rolling eyes or using hand excessively when you speak
“I was all like…”
By: Eli Magers
Tags: Satire, Comedy, Humor, Relationships, Conversations

“I was all like…”

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Dennis: Wait… you bought a baby from Trader Joe’s?

Alex: What? No. I said I bought barbecue from Trader Joe’s for the cookout.

Dennis: Oh! I was all like… whaaat, you know?

Alex: Ha, yeah. Anyway, could you bring―

Dennis: No. Like… I was all like… whaaat, you bought a baby!? That’s so crazy! How could you buy a baby!? I cannot believe a word of what this guy just told me!

Alex: Yeah, good thing you just misheard me. Anyway―

Dennis: Like, I was all like, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do right now. Should I report my friend to childcare services? Does this mean Trader Joe’s is cancelled again? like…

Alex: I know wild. But, could you please pick up―

Dennis: I was all like, you know what? I don’t even care, I love Alex and I’m ready to commit to being a dad with him. I don’t care that the baby isn’t mine, we’re going to be the best dang dads this big baby ever had, unlike my dad!

Alex: What?

Dennis: Like, I was all like, maybe this baby will be so inspired by our teamwork that they will grow up to be a renowned author and write a memoir about our lives. Which also means we should probably enroll them at Reigmont Schools, my cousin went there and he’s like a super big brain poet or something so they have to have a good creativity program.

Alex: Will you please stop talking for one moment―

Dennis: Then, like, I was like all like, but my cousin’s family are part of the super rich elite and Reigmont Schools is super expensive which means I need to pick more shifts up at the post office and I don’t know if I want to do that because I’m trying to get my Movie Reviews podcast off the ground. Is this perils of responsibility culminated into one decision based on sacrifice? I can’t do this because I have so much I’m working towards in my life but I already promised Alex that I’ll be a dad with him. What is a morally justifiable reason for backing out of this that will save me some face? Should I tell him I’m not feeling well and can’t ever show up to help with the baby? No, that’s too long term. I know, I’ll fake my death!

Alex: Wow.

Dennis: I was all like, I’ll borrow his car one day and drive it into the reservoir and I’ll replace my body with a bunch of straw wearing my favorite collard shirt. But, then I’ll have to get rid of my favorite collard shirt! There has to be sacrifices made somewhere, I guess. If everyone thinks I’m dead that means I can live out my life in a cabin in the Adirondack mountains like I’ve always wanted! Wait ― uh-oh! That means I’ll have to carry plenty of buckets of water in case I run into a mountain warlock, they hate water!

Alex: Hey, man. I’m actually gonna get out of here right now.

Dennis: Wait, don’t go! I actually have a crippling loneliness because nobody talks to me for some reason. You’re my only friend!

Alex: Wow. I’m so sorry. I had no idea. When you put it like that, I guess I can stick around.

Dennis: Wait… you want to stick a clown?

Alex: That’s not at all what I said at all.

Dennis: Oh! Because, I was all like… whaaat, you know?
Conversation skills Assessment Tool — ChAT
By: Dr Yurgos Politis
Tags: Conversation Skills, Virtual Worlds, Soft Skills Training, Soft Skills, Conversations

Open access copy of the measure can be found here: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/343163788_ChAT_measure

Rationale for the development of ChAT:

To provide a measure of a person’s conversation skills ability and gauge whether they have achieved any personal growth.

The authors do not wish to perpetuate an ableist social construct of what is a “good” conversation and they do not suggest that conversation training is necessary specifically for people with communication and/or socialization difficulties.

Rather, they hope that the tool will be adopted more broadly to examine conversation skills of both neurotypical and neurodivergent people and hopefully give them a better understanding of how to communicate more effectively with others, and thus make them more aware and accepting of differing conversational styles.

Potential audience:

The authors envisage that the Tool could be used with children at an early age as an exemplar of the elements of a conversational interaction they would need to pay attention to.

ChAT could also be useful for people who are learning English as a foreign language and for people with conversation/communication difficulties.

ChAT was developed as part of my Marie Curie project with the ASSISTID programme that was co-funded by RESPECT and the European Commission.

Details of that project can be found here:
The Art of Conversational Marketing on the Internet
By: Provoz Upturn
Tags: Internet, Social Media, Marketing, Digital, Conversations

Social media messaging plays a crucial role in establishing a brand’s digital presence. Online image can be key to making the brand a success amongst customers. It is absolutely essential to create this image, engage customers and build a community.

This is exactly where conversational marketing comes into the picture. Conversational marketing is a customer-centric and dialogue-driven approach to doing business online. It has become the go-to strategy for driving audience engagement, improving customer experience and growing revenue.

In this digital world, people demand connections more than anything. They expect brands to strike real-time conversations, cater to their needs, and understand them. If a brand does it for them, the returns are immense. The more authentic experience customers have, the more reasons they have to stay.

Conversational marketing engages customers and works on three key features: engage, understand, recommend & repeat. A business needs to be agile when it comes to responding to the customers. No one has the time today to check random mails, fill out forms or pick those cold calls and hear about your services. Engagement done in the right way leads to conversions. Chatbots are one of the most popular ways to use conversational marketing. Whenever someone visits your website, instead of telling them to fill a form or subscribe, it can be game-changing to engage in a real conversation.

You can use a chatbot to start a conversation and understand what they are looking for. This has effectively resulted in a higher rate of conversions as it meets end-to-end needs & requirements of the customer. Chatbots understand who can be your potential leads and not just bombard visitors with random information that they don’t need. All you need to do is create such efficient chatbots that ask initial FAQs that lead up the conversation towards giving them a better solution. Later, you can catch up with them through reminders in emails and updates on a regular basis.

A simple message drafted as a digital greeting on your website can bring a personalised feel. This may drive better leads, faster conversions and help your business thrive. Further, conversations with potential customers will help get honest feedback to optimise your services. Conversational marketing has made the relationship between a brand and the consumer very comprehensive. With its popularity skyrocketing, it has proven itself as a great communication channel.

We believe that businesses need to put the old ways aside and build themselves by adopting newer ways of engagement. With so many choices in the market, what counts is how a business sells its uniqueness in a personalised approach to the customers of today.
Good Story on the human condition and companionship in the possibly not to distant future- I did…
By: Pernicious Times
Tags: Future Of Sex, Storyboard, Ideas, Companionship, Conversations

Good Story on the human condition and companionship in the possibly not to distant future- I did enjoy reading it- thanks for posting it.

I Just read it off and on in between twitter rants on identity politics and fake news, which is the black hole of our times. http://twitter.com/3disok

When I got close to the end of your story, I was hoping it “would be continued” or would go deeper. It makes me think of Blade Runner 2049 which is a fav of mine. In it, his digital lover Joi — played by- Ana de Armas, she starts as a holographic projection becomes actualized, partially, and then destroyed so it’s a wide emotional range. I think that is my favorite part considering the emotional life we impart to them “our unfeeling companions”, the quest to “not be alone”.

The images that you used were pretty cool too, I liked the noise filled ones — did you do those?

In upcoming game culture CyberPunk 2077 looks like it will touch on these issues as well, but probably no-where near as good as film.

Though I haven’t been to happy with the emotional connection aspect in games. Hellblade got it, but others falter and only circle fleeting ideas it seems. Hopefully Cyberpunk 2077 will catalyze the best of both worlds.
017_ Conversation: from papyrus to bits, confidence in success is the harbinger of failure
By: John Robert
Tags: Failure, History, Success, Podcast, Conversations

017_ Conversation: from papyrus to bits, confidence in success is the harbinger of failure

This is an excerpt from the audio introduction of the podcast _bandwidth: coast to coast John Robert Jan 13·4 min read

Why hello, trust that this audio finds you either gripping with the end of the year, or exuberant with it’s passing. Either those or another, thank you for letting _bandwidth: coast to coast invade your auditory cortex.

We are, fundamentally, the same beings as we were in ancient times.

I was just talking with a friend of mine about the most recent Pompeii discoveries, and the conversation quickly landed at how we are essentially the same beings as then, only our technology and some of our culture has changed.

I would extend, that with technology came an influence into our culture, which then influenced back the prominence or course of that technology had on our culture, so on and so forth. From either sacking of cities or the increased comfort or size of a luxury elite, or in the way in which I would posit technology has been most influential, that being an increase and disbursement of widespread luxury goods.

But the problem, insofar as I see it, is we haven’t transcended our base human traps. At least not collectively, at least not for a sustained enough period of time to influence the course of our species to land at a new plateau, thus escaping these seemingly inevitable traps.

I really like how my guest puts it. He said when we find ourselves at another nexus point of success, is when we are most likely to become victims of it. Or more directly how he put it, confidence in success is the harbinger of failure.

Confidence in success is the harbinger of failure.

For certainly alone leaves you blind, to say nothing of another point made, when reaching a “success”, what and why you were fighting are lost. And the struggle to get there gives way to such relief when it’s over, that resting on those laurels is so tantalizing a thought, it becomes the aim.

Or to steal from episode 008 again, in response to my that humans are comfort obsessed beings; generational historian Felipe Fernandez-Armesto responds with something I think about daily,

“Comfort is the enemy of well-being.”

With that comfort we find ourselves in, it sparks many a movement towards conservatism, to maintain the status quo. But again to highlight a point my guest makes, an effort to be more conservative leads to many radical things.

And how frequently, it’s a rediscovery of the past in an effort to preserve it, that leads to an upset of that status quo. Hold onto that thought, because it’s something I already planned on expanding upon well before I talked with my guest for this episode.
Sober Conversations — Counting Days…
By: Alok U Bhat
Tags: Anecdotes, Lighthearted, Roommates, Nostalgic, Conversations

Tomorrow was the exam day. Isn’t it amazingly moronic how you would want to talk about anything and everything under the stars, except go and prepare for the impending doom waiting for you the next day? That’s exactly how we got into this conversation. Me and my room mate, Sri.

There’s something always curious in the air the night before your exam, except of course the subject for the next day! On such a day, around 2 hours after clock had struck midnight, me and Sri were holding our notes and blankly staring around wanting to start talking on any topic. Any topic that would take away the mind-numbing thoughts of questions for the next day. That’s when it striked me.

“Have you ever wondered how we remember the day of the week?”, I asked.

Sri immediately threw his Latin-looking notes aside and gave attention.

“We usually rely on the time-table of semester subjects for remembering which day it is.”, I continued.

“Of course! That’s why we lose count of days during our vacations.”, he offered.

I suddenly realized how true that was. Our dry time-table was the only link we had left to the reality of the week. The time-table served SOME purpose, after all!

“So once we are done with college, how do you suppose we will remember the days. Every day is going to be the same”, I voiced my concern.

We both stared. It was a thought worthy of pondering over, majorly because we wanted a justified distraction from all the studying, that we were not doing. Just then, I saw a glint in Sri’s eyes. The same one I usually see when he has a sarcastic quip to give. His lips slowly curved into a smile.

“The only difference we will see when we start working will be the weekends. So that’s how we will keep track. We will check how many days have passed since the last weekend, and how many remain for the next. That’s how we will know the day of the week!” he quipped.

We both burst out laughing. That was a good enough distraction as any, to abandon our studying (read staring at notes)and start binge-watching some series, guilt-free.

Its been over 6 years now to that conversation, with over 5 years of working as an employee. I now often look back thinking, how true those words were! Back then, it was just a light conversation between friends. Its true that the burden of reality is often well hidden in plain sight. Only if we knew how genius we were back then! :P
Episode 5 — The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations with Kern Beare
By: Brett Hill
Tags: Mindfulness, Relationships, Conversation

Episode 5 — The Art and Science of Difficult Conversations with Kern Beare Brett Hill Jan 13·2 min read

“How do we be the people we need to be to have the conversations we need to have.” — Kern Beare

https://www.languageofmindfulness.com/episode-5-the-art-and-science-of-difficult-conversations-with-kern-beare/

Hear this amazing story told first hand by our guest Kern Beare (pronounced ‘Berry’), who, in coming to grips with Trump’s election, decided he was out of touch with some new, unknown reality in America. In a dramatic leap of faith, he and his son packed up and headed out on a month-long road trip across the country. The purpose? To have conversations with people on the opposite end of his political beliefs. Listen in to hear the incredible story of what he discovered and how it resulted in a book and workshop that has touched thousands.



To help others learn what he learned from this journey, he created a book and workshop — “Difficult Conversations” The workshop is free. That’s right free. Who does that? I can personally recommend the book as easy to read, inspiring, clear, and backed with neuroscience references on why we get triggered and how to create authentic connection with people holding divergent views.



His mission to help us connect, person-to-person and heart-to-heart, is more than just another workshop you can take — it provides a worthy model that can make a real difference, and we don’t have a lot of those right now. And surely, we need them. Timely. Powerful. Field-Tested, Relevant. And free. That’s pretty compelling.



Interested in contacting Kern? You can reach him and find the workshop schedule at:



— https://difficultconversationsproject.org/

— Twitter

— YouTube

— Instagram



If you like the podcast, please follow, and leave a comment on iTunes — and I’d love to hear from you with questions, suggestions, or comments.



Want more? Visit Languageofmindfulness.com and subscribe to our free newsletter.



— -



Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/languageofmindfulness/message
How do open-ended questions improve interpersonal communication?
By: Dr. William Lane
Tags: Autism, Communication Skills, Interpersonal Skills, Communication, Conversations

The next fifteen minutes of the young man’s haircut was in total silence. As you can gather from this conversational exchange, when closed questions were used, there was little conversational interaction between the stylist and the customer. The customer was quickly annoyed with the stylist’s questions, and the stylist was not asking open-ended questions to engage the customer.

Continuing the Conversation

A closed question limits the possibility for a sense of connection to develop between you and the person with whom you are speaking. When asked a closed question, people tend to refrain from elaborating on their response and instead answer with a one-word or short answer response.

But, for successful conversations to occur, it is important that the questions that are asked continue rather than end the conversation.

When asking open-ended questions, you are “bouncing the ball back” to the speaker. “Bouncing the ball back” to the speaker not only leads to calcification of the topic of conversation but also allows the listener to extract more specific information. When a person has the opportunity to think, they are more comfortable, and people who are more relaxed tend to be more forthcoming with their ideas, concerns, and feelings.

Asking open-ended questions encourages others’ thoughts and feelings to flow, allowing you to support this flow while gaining insight. When the speaker is asked open-ended questions, they are being provided the opportunity to talk in more detail about their interests and needs, allowing for further discussion and elaboration about the topic or for follow-up questions to be asked.

Putting It Into Practice

News reporters are very good at asking open-ended questions because their job is to get the other person to talk about what they saw, think, feel, etc. The TV viewer is not interested in what the news reporter feels about what is happening; instead, the TV audience wants to hear from the people who were there. The interviewer leads the other person in the conversation. If you study these interviews, you will notice that most open-ended questions begin with: who, what, when, where, or how.

Examples:

Who did you see the movie with? What was your favorite part of the movie? When did you see the movie? Where did you go to see the movie? “How was the movie?”

Ask positive, open-ended questions.

Why Not “Why?”

When asking open-ended questions, avoid “why” questions. “Why” questions cause people to make up a rational reason, even if they do not have one, to provide a response. It may also cause a person to feel defensive, as though they are expected to defend their response.

Open-Ended Question Starters

Here are a few open-ended question prompts to help get you started. If these are helpful to you (or if you would like more samples), please let me know in the comment section below!
The Time Has Come To Share My Tweet And Mine Alone
Tags: Systems Thinking, Politics, Twitter, Social Media, Conversations

The Time Has Come To Share My Tweet And Mine Alone Bryn Jun 2·2 min read

This is important

The evidence is clear: the time has come to share my tweet about politics. Millions are struggling because I’m not going viral. The most important voice in the conversation (mine) isn’t being heard as much as I’d like. This has to stop. We’ll never be able to rebuild society if we don’t engage in meaningful conversation about what a smart guy I am.

There may be other Twitter accounts out there with more followers than me, but remember: Jesus started with only twelve (I already have more), and He became the original influencer! Much like Him, I’m a simple man with important ideas and a thing for foot washing. If my message resonates so much that millions of people love me as much as Him and celebrate my birthday too, so be it. But, that’s not why I’m asking you to, like, follow and retweet me. I’m doing it for all of us.

Let’s not get bogged down in details about how we are going to accomplish what I’m laying out in my tweet, or why people should listen to me. This kind of old-fashioned thinking is what got us into this mess in the first place. As someone who hasn’t read a book — fiction or nonfiction — since high school, nor even a complete news article for that matter, I’m uniquely able to think big. Instead of wasting valuable time arguing, we need to focus on making me Internet famous here and now. Another day of me not trending is just another day of injustice.

This tweet is too important to just retweet, it needs to be included on lists, embedded in blogs, reported on in the mainstream and alternative press, and printed out and taped to the fridge. I know it’s a great sacrifice, but we need to all do our part. Also, while we are sharing, my reactions to Ted Lasso are very important and should be widely distributed, too. Not as important, per se, but still.

We’ve tried to improve the world through voting, protests, legislation, education, reforms, and folk songs. As best as I can tell, none of it has ever worked. The one thing we have not yet tried as a means to bring about lasting change is sharing my tweet. The time has come. Will you do your part?
Have you praised someone like this?
By: Sheikh Sabbir
Tags: Communication Skills, Successful Conferences, Communication, Praise, Conversations

The art of communication means how much mannered way you talk with others. But the process of convincing people mostly depends on the mental state of the listeners. You have to make them comfortable and make them feel better to make your words valuable and to accept it. If you can do this, then you can be successful in convincing people with a very normal chat. So, to get their attention you have to praise them properly. But most of them time we praise someone in a very common or general way. But we should praise someone specifically so that they notice it and think about it. Like, if anyone cooks better, and you praise him saying you cook well, then it won’t be notice by him/her as he/she heard it 100 times before. But if you say that her “Beef Rejala” taste like your grandma’s “Beef Rejala” then he/she will notice it and pay an extra attention on what you say. This specific praise make him/her more careful about your words. In this way people will think about you and your words. He will be more careful about your conversation and hear it carefully. Using this method, if you keep praising someone you can attach yourself with others heart. He already likes you for your beautiful comment about him, he will become a fan if you keep praising him. Then no matter what you say, he will listen to it carefully. The main part of communication is in what mental state your listener in now. So, if you praise him, he will hear you, because he is already your fan. So, next time instead of praise him normally, praise specifically…
Lunch break conversation during a vaccination shift
By: Kelvin Kramp
Tags: Vaccin, Covid 19, Conversations

An excerpt from small talk at work

Colleague: Are you new over here?

Me: No I’m the medical backup for the vaccinations that are taking place. I’m here to help in the case something bad happens.

Colleague: Yes, you need a doctor for that of course. I’ve applied for the Janssen vaccination but I didn’t hear anything yet from my family doctor. I’m above 60.

Me: Oh wow. That’s strange…

Colleague: Yes but a time ago I refused AstraZeneca. I don’t want that.

Me: Mhm…

Colleague: I’m seeing young people around me that get vaccinated and I’m 63 years old. I also registered at the RIVM (Dutch national health preventive medicine) for a Pfeizzer vaccine. My family doctor said that he would put me on a list. If there are enough people on the list I will get a notice.

Me: Hmm ok… There is also a website on which you can register prullenbakvaccin.nl (literally translated “garbagecanvaccine.nl”, a real website) did you know that? It collects refused vaccines. If you see on the map of the website that there is a vaccine available somewhere then you might be allowed to travel to that location and ask for a vaccine.

Colleague: Yes, but that means I will have to travel maybe to Groningen (300 km from where the conversation takes place).

Me: Yes, but you could also be lucky and see a location nearby that has something left.

Colleague: Hmm, yes we’ll see. I’m going to smoke a cigarette…
Minimal truths
By: Patience Phillips
Tags: Introvert, Honest, Conversations

Actually its very easy to say less, yet we can still be honest. In terms of making general conversations with people and still getting used to say very less and exactly only whats required to share. Am saying this not to avoid, discredit people’s interest, but just to say enough for the sake of seeing the extent of our own clarity of thought !!

Just listen to people’s question. May it be a general inquiry, a few words instead of hi, a genuine interest in your well being.

Trust me in many situations this avoids a lot of unwanted gossips and stories running around, coming back to us in a veeeeery different way than what we intended or shared to start with ! Rare but happens for sure unexpectedly.

So any question thrown at us — try to answer exactly with only the minute detail. for instance, “Long since i saw your parents….how are they ?!” Actually my parents are at my place. Dad had a heart attack and he is fine now.

General inquiry — This question was coming from a good neighbor from around. If i go about telling this its going to take at least half hour for all the details to share. So instead i just say they are at my place, dad wasn’t well, he is better now, so they are not on the road frequently.

The question is answered and the moment we say all are fine, stops further questioning. Anyway we shared only the truth and they are at my place means, things are taken care of, you need not worry and thanks for your concern

A few words instead of hi — “You look very tired…’ Yes because of the same above reason, i have a overload of work. So instead of “why” the overload happened, i just told, i am running a few extra errands, new responsibilities i had to take and looking forward for the weekend to relax !! and made it simpler. Of course all are looking forward to the weekend and they start to think like same applies to them !!

Genuine interest — A friend of mine knows all these details. I will have to answer, they stood by me when i was very worried. So instead of saying i will talk to you later, i told i will have to meet the doctor for a review and will tell them what happened after that. So that they will know status quo maintained and am planning to talk to them later but will share them good details……

And we will know who we are talking to and how to respond ! This also avoids a lot of gossip, unnecessary chit chats, just that somebody got bored and would fill their ears with our details and forget…….

Its all truth, but only the facts that mattered for that particular moment and not a whole story. Its easy isn’t it ?!
Our podcast — Getahead: Behind The Curtain — is live
Tags: Mental Health, Wellbeing, Burnout, Podcast, Conversations

It’s apparent that we — as humans — perceive everyone else as having their lives together, of being ‘sorted’. This perception is put on rocket-boosters by the social media. But a peek behind the curtain will show we all have our cross to bear, struggles to shoulder, pitfalls we have fallen in.

Instagram shots are an edit of our lives, not real life.

But we swallow these Stories wholesale.

We see the superstar DJ, the rock star tech-CEO, the super-Mom and think…”why am I such a sorry loser?”. Well, guess what? We all feel that way.

But nobody’s lives are perfect.

What if you could find out what it was really like?

Hence: “Behind the Curtain”

We want to go behind the curtain of successful people’s lives to find out what really goes on…the good, the bad and the ugly. The podcast is a long-form conversation featuring super-interesting friends of Getahead.

Our mission is to help a billion people ‘get ahead without burning out’ by 2043 (a 25 year commitment we made in 2018). The podcast is a central part of our plan to scale our impact. It is hosted by a man who was there when we dreamed up the idea for Getahead: Will Kirby.

And he’s someone with his own story to tell…

Our host Will Kirby aka Santero

Living the dream?

Will has enjoyed a stellar career as a globe-trotting, award-winning club DJ.

In fact he’s lived the message of our podcast. Because at the height of his fame — when the outside world saw him living the dream — he was at his lowest. Behind the curtain — for the person behind the on-stage persona — the dream was turning into a hollowed-out nightmare.

Will is articulate and upfront about the demons he’s faced, and how he’s transformed his life, discovering a way of being which is healthier and better.

What better person to find ways to help you get ahead in your life?

Podcast 1: Introduction

Will opens up about the ups & downs of his life, looking behind the curtain

Santero in action

Podcast 2: Melody Kane

Will interviews Melody — the superstar resident Radio 1 Xtra DJ & fitness goddess behind No Kane No Gain — at the pop up event we held during Flatiron Square’s Wellness Week in January 2019.

Recorded in front of a live audience, this was his first interview…no pressure!

So get after it!

Getahead: Behind The Curtain is available on your favourite podcast provider, as long as they’re Apple Podcasts & Spotify:

Apple:

Spotify:

While you’re here…

Why not check out our interview with Michael Acton-Smith — the CEO of meditation & sleep app Calm — who spoke at the inaugural Getahead Festival in 2018 in London. He opened up about what life’s really like for the CEO of the world’s first billion dollar mental health startup:

Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel for more like that.

You can also follow Getahead on Twitter or Instagram.

Getahead in your inbox

And we send a monthly email newsletter with hints & tips on how to get ahead without burning out — sign up at www.getahead.life
Transportation & Conversation
By: Samantha Boss
Tags: Coparenting, Transportation, Single Moms, Divorce, Conversations

One of the biggest mistakes first time co-parents make is when they design their parenting plan. They forget the details around three major topics when it comes to transportation aka drop off and pick up.

First, what time are you picking up or dropping off. Too many first time parents say, “oh we will just talk about it and let each other know.” WRONG, you can do that when you are in a good season sure, but what about a bad season? You know, when one parent can’t stand the other parent. What will you do then? What time will you show up for pick up drop of to get your children? Have set times for both pick up and drop off for the children.

Second mistake is not putting a location of where exchanges will happen. Again the mistake is that people say “oh we can just text each other.” No you can’t in a bad season and expect someone to change their routine to accomdate you. You want to have your residence or school or daycare or even a police station but there needs to be a place wrote down.

Third mistake is when parents forget to write down all the responsible people they want to be able to do the exchange for them. Maybe a parent gets sick or works late or heaven forbid doesn’t have a car for a week. Who are the people that you are listing as responsible agreed upon individuals that can do the exchanges with the children. You both need to agree on this section and if you don’t agree then it is just the parents.

When it comes to exchanges what do you do? Talk, silence, no eye contact, etc. I highly suggest talking and showing your kids that you are the bigger person always and that you have the ability to be nice to go against what anyone might possibly be saying otherwise. Ask about their day or more importantly talk about the kids day. Do not expect a response, you can’t control that but you can control how you come across to your ex and your children. Always be talking like your kids understand every word even if they aren’t old enough or you think they can’t hear you.

These tips will help eliminate alot of fights for pick up and drop off. Get the grey area taken out of your parenting plan and make sure the details are in there for the bad season. Try to think ahead also for sports and extra curriculars that the children might be in. Make a plan for the just in case moments of childhood/parenting.

For more help go to www.samanthaboss.com
How To Win New Clients With the Magic Wand Question
By: Rodney Daut
Tags: Business, Sales, Marketing, Entrepreneurship, Conversations

What Is the Magic Wand Question?

It is a question that gets your prospect to go beyond what they think they should want or what is possible and tap into what they truly yearn for.

The question is: “If we had a realistic magic wand, what would you like to see in your life/business in the next six months to a year?”

The magic wand question is quite simple on the surface but it is designed specifically to tap into a client’s achievable dreams. That’s why we say “If we had a realistic magic wand” so they think of what is possible in the real world, not money falling from the sky. And we ask them to look ahead six months to a year so that they get beyond the nitty-gritty day-to-day details which are quite limiting and feel free to aim for something higher.

In fact, part of the power of this question is they will describe a goal that’s big enough that they don’t know how to achieve it. That’s what they need you for.

As you listen to their answers and validate their dreams, the client bonds with you. They get the sense that you will support those dreams as well. They are getting to know you as someone who helps them tap into the best of themselves. They see you differently than those with whom they only have ordinary conversations each day. They might start seeing you as someone they need in their corner.
From An Introvert’s Shoes
By: Malavika S Menon
Tags: People, Introvert, Change, Relationships, Conversations

Credits: HR Daily Advisor

One of the most important things that I have heard about writing is to remember whom you are writing for. Though I keep this in mind while writing officially, often, when I pen my thoughts down, I frankly don’t know who it is directed at. Sometimes, writing is a form of therapy for me. Just putting into words exactly how I feel, or releasing all the negativity bundled up inside. A lot like cleansing your mind, if you think about it.

Though I am quite introverted, I am usually able to gel with people over time. Make on-the-surface conversations and laugh along with them. But conversations with a person I just met or random guests that come home are not my strong suits. It usually ends up with me awkwardly smiling my way through the duration of the talk.

Over the 19 years of my life, I have managed to be fully comfortable with only a handful of people. And mind you, this list isn’t a constant. When the frequency of conversations reduces, the level of my comfort decreases too. Strangely, I have observed this pattern a multitude of times. Whether it’s in the case of cousins who moved away or childhood friends with whom the talks slowly faded away. I wonder which part of my life I should talk to them about, whether they would want to know the tiny things that happen or just the major milestones. Do I tell them I drove my first pillion ride recently or that I performed my Mohiniyattam Arangettam yesterday? Do I tell them about the new people in my life or the new changes in my lifestyle? Would they remember if I told them?

Needless to say, I am terrified of change. Terrified of shifting away from the equilibrium I have set up for myself. Scared of building relationships with new people, of being hurt by the choices I make in people, and I am scared of gripping my past too tight in a way it hurts more than letting go. And introversion coupled with anxiety is not a great combination, let me tell you. I am perpetually anxious and worried, so much that my own mother tells me to stop lamenting and whining so much, which doesn’t really help.

So, often I am the happiest in my own space, maybe texting one or two people I am closest too. “Why are you so quiet?”, “Talk something, no?”, “Do you really not have anything to say?” I don’t think there’s a person who has heard these questions more. I apologise, it’s just the way I am. Please know that it has less to do with you and more to do with me.

So this was therapeutic, just putting it all out there. If you made your way reading till here, thanks for listening. You are a very patient reader!
21C Superpowers, episode 6: Sacred Vessel
By: John Kellden
Tags: Transitions, Superpowers, Mindset Shift, Collective Intelligence, Conversations

In a network, 8bn sacred vessels, experiencing pictures at an exhibition.

POODLE

A generative sequence, a superset of OODA, Observe, Orient, Decide, Act.

perceive, observe, orient, design, learn, enact

Perceive

“Each voice, each side of the duet, mimes a bit of the other’s melody while adding its own inflection and style, and then is echoed by the other in turn — the two singing bodies thus tuning and attuning to one another, rediscovering a common register, remembering each other.

It requires only a slight shift in focus to realize that this melodic singing is carrying the bulk of communication in this encounter, and that the explicit meanings of the actual words ride on the surface of this depth like waves on the surface of the sea.”

— David Abram

Observe and Orient

“In this paper, I aim to show how a phenomenological naturalism might be seen as a necessary step towards the development of a non-reductionist and non-scientistic approach to scientific inquiry.

A key to this is a reconceptualization of nature as inclusive of meanings and of mind. It is a conception developed by Merleau-Ponty, especially in his later ontology of nature, and one that is shared by American pragmatist philosopher of science, C.S. Peirce (1839–1914).

For both philosophers, meaning must be understood in terms of an ontology which is relational rather than atomistic, and dynamic or processual rather than static and substance-based. For Merleau-Ponty this is an experientially-derived ontology; for Peirce it is a more conceptually-based one. In this paper, I explore this connection between these two philosophers in two stages.

The first is by reference to Peirce’s theory of signs or semiotics. More specifically, I look at the application of this theory to the study of biological processes as developed in Peirce-inspired biosemiotics.

In the light of this, I suggest that Merleau-Ponty’s account of intentional relations in nature might be articulated as semiotic relations, and can serve as a philosophical basis for a non-reductive biological science.

I then turn to questions relating to the ontology of nature. I explore Merleau-Ponty’s experientially-based “ontology of flesh” and Peirce’s distinctive form of naturalism to show affinities at this ontological level.

These affinities consist in commitments to a reality that includes possibility, meaning, temporality, and final causation — that is, an ontology which is far more inclusive than that of conventional positivistic science.”

— Maurita Harney

Design and Learn

Producing a premise, place and scene for enacting, in a context of connectivity, generativity, play, mutuality, learning, dialogue and nature.

Enact

Enaction as a win^n superset of action, including inviting into shared understanding.

21C Superpowers, episode 6: Sacred Vessel