The Power of Glitter Tears
By: Becca Bycott
Tags: Short Story, Dc, Fashion, Personal Development, Self

The Power of Glitter Tears

Shining out, fabulously, in the face of uncertainty

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

Washington, D.C., is not known for being a city where people take fashion risks. When it comes to clothes, it’s more of a strait-laced, buttoned-up place. Look around and you’ll see busy professionals wearing carefully curated navy blues, blacks and grays.

But we do sometimes love to let our hair down and live beyond our relentless ambition in how we dress at certain social events. A masquerade ball is one such occasion.

When a friend of mine announced he was throwing a black tie masquerade ball the Saturday after Halloween, I got excited. The weeks leading up to Halloween had been a nightmare for me —a maintenance issue in my apartment had turned my place upside down and led to some crazy expenses. Some unexpected crises at my job had left me exhausted and worried about my future. A man I had been seeing who traveled a lot for work had put our relationship on the back burner due to our incompatible schedules, leaving my ego a little bruised. A night of dancing and feeling fancy was just what I needed.

Questioning my self-worth

But worrying about my budget gave me pause. I couldn’t justify spending money on renting a new gown after losing so much of my monthly income to dealing with apartment maintenance issues. I was on a mission to aggressively pay off credit card debt, and buying a new dress wasn’t going to help me reach my goal any faster.

I also felt a little intimidated about going to a ball by myself. I’m pretty comfortable flying solo in D.C., but as I get older, sometimes I’m intimidated by all the professionals here who are outrageously successful doing glamorous, change-the-world things.

But this was an invitation to enjoy cocktails and conversation with creative movers and shakers at a beautiful home in an undisclosed part of town, a location that would be mysteriously revealed with a password provided by the host. This was opportunity for an adventure. I knew if I missed the party, I would regret it.

Transforming yourself, in whatever way you can, feels magic.

So I decided to be my own fairy god mother and pull together an amazing outfit using what I had on hand.

My first step was to evaluate what I already owned and see if I could use it to create a new look. I remembered there was an old teal cocktail dress in the back of my closet that brought out the green in my eyes. It was a killer gown with shirring that hugged my curves and made me feel like Jessica Rabbit. The last time I had worn it, the bartender making my drink toasted me before handing my cocktail to me and said, “Here’s to that dress.” I wasn’t sure if it was over-the-top fancy, but maybe I could glam it up with some other accessories.

As I dug deeper into my closet, I also discovered a forgotten pair of black patent leather Colin Stuart pumps with stacked heels. I hadn’t worn them since I was in my 30s and carefully slipped them on to attempt a few dance moves in my apartment while my cat watched me curiously. I realized I could still move around in them without falling over. Huzzah!

What about finding a mask, a crucial completion to the entire ensemble? And how could I make an old gown from years ago otherworldly and elegant, in the spirit of a masquerade ball just a few nights shy of Halloween?

After searching online, I rounded up and purchased a few artful and affordable accessories to complete my look: giant peacock feather earrings with turquoise streaks that complemented the dress perfectly, some over-the-elbow electric blue gloves that were sophisticated but whimsical, all affordably under $20. But still nothing to playfully cover part of my face. There were countless lace masks online when I searched under the category of “masquerade” that had a whisper of fairy tale elegance. But they didn’t quite speak to me.

I tend to a be messy creator who is a bit on the unscripted side. I like random ingredients haphazardly thrown together in my recipes, jotted-down notes in my composition notebooks, swaths of watercolor spilling across my canvases with no structure in mind.

Suddenly more than anything, I wanted to create my own mask. A homemade masterpiece that would turn me into a fearless, sparkling siren, a force of nature out for the night and up for anything.

I searched for Halloween makeup on Amazon and found a tiny pot of aquamarine glitter and sequins traditionally used for body painting. I would adorn my eyes with jewel-like accents like the kids on HBO’s dark teen drama “Euphoria,” who wore their hearts on their sleeves and their fearless individuality on their faces with vivid eye makeup.

The night of the party arrived, after a long week that had left me exhausted. Sipping coffee, I stood in front of the mirror, smearing glue you use to attach fake eyelashes around my eyes, not sure what I was doing and how it would look. Prying off the top of the plastic container of glitter and sequins had caused them to rain down into my bathroom sink and all over the floor.

At first I cursed the chaos of it all and my uncertainty about the evening ahead of me. I was flying solo, feeling every minute of being over 40. Then I squared my shoulders and stared at my anxious expression in the mirror. Things were getting messy, and I was just going to go with it.

I scooped up a finger’s worth of sequins the color of seaglass and pressed them into the glue, watching a mosaic of underwater color forming around my eyes. I stepped back to observe how my sparkling eye art paired with my long wavy red hair. Something akin to punk rock mermaid glamour was happening, and I liked it.

Velvet Underground’s “Venus in Furs” was playing in the background.