White People Should Be Ashamed of Themselves
By: Marley K.
Tags: White Privilege, Race, Emotional Intelligence, White Supremacy, BlackLivesMatter

White People Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

White people spend so much time deflecting accusations of racism they know they are guilty of engaging in because they lack shame. Marley K. Dec 11, 2020·13 min read

Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

White Folks Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

It’s shouldn’t be so hard admitting you’re excessively on the wrong side of history White people, but it is. It’s also rare we see White people ashamed of their collective group’s racist behavior. Saying “we’re better than this” or making other excuses to move past the same shamefully racist behavior of White folks continue to engage in is one of most disrespectful acts a White person can perform.

There is not a day that goes by we Black and Brown people don’t deal with racism. Not one.

It doesn’t matter if we’re online, in a grocery store, a classroom, or at work, nor does it matter if we experience racism directly or indirectly through our children, friends, spouses, partners, or other family members. Black and Brown folks’ connection to racism is something we endure every day. It’s humiliating. It’s a humiliation we don’t deserve, and that’s shameful.

There is no respite from racism. We don’t get to just move on like racists.

There is no place for Black people to hide from anti-Blackness and White Supremacy. Their tentacles are long, their reach is deep, and the side-effects from them are everlasting. Which leads me back to shame, and why the lack of White people having any is problematic. Their lack of emotional intelligence is the reason for their lack of shame. The lack of emotional intelligence also highlights why they cannot change. Changes and discussions of changes are happening everywhere, and half of White Americans cannot deal with the societal changes because it doesn’t include them.

We’ve had White rule for 400 plus years (which is pretty shameful considering at one point there were more Black people in the nation than White), and we’re seeking something new. White people cannot deal with change (or rejection apparently), so they seek to make those of us wanting change miserable. That’s shameful to most people, but not shameful enough for White people to change their behavior.

Shame results in uncomfortableness and requires consciousness. We all know White folks hate to be uncomfortable, self-consciousness is not a strong suit because it requires discomfort, and White folks ain’t sacrificing their comfort for nobody.

Shame On You

Genuine shame is defined as a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. The lack of shame in White America is the primary reason we continue seeing their behavior go unchecked and unchanged. Most White people accept racism and see nothing wrong with it because it doesn’t harm them. Most White people have no shame. They have no remorse, and they do not find their behavior humiliating. Shamefully, White people witnessing racism don’t humiliate their fellow racists, so they’d feel shame.

Shame, when emotionally intelligent, is an emotion that should happen in private. No one needs to know one is ashamed of their own behavior or that of close associates. As it relates to racism, what matters is the shame of it should also lead to a change in behavior.

With White people, this rarely happens.

The reason White people spend so much time deflecting accusations of racism when they are obviously guilty of engaging in it is because they lack shame. Most White folks require embarrasing in public to change, and even then, the change is not genuine, reactionary if you will, because most White people have zero interests in not being racist. They just hope to never be caught and called out for being racist. Therefore, White people only react to racism when public embarrassment in involved.

If they could be ashamed, they could redress their racist behavior in their homes among their peers, in therapy, or through corrective actions that did not require the victims of their antics. If racists could feel shame, we Black and Brown folks wouldn’t need to be so heavily involved in antiracism, they could do this work themselves. White folks could see their behavior as problematic on their own and fix it. The discomfort of sitting in shame would cause them to act.

Instead, White people are too busy trying to facilitate get over it sessions, pretending everything is okay. They want us to forgive their racism, take care of our own injuries, and look past their White sins. They have zero interests in feeling shame and dealing with the humiliation stemming from White Supremacy.

Everything about white supremacy is shameful. Everything! Anyone engaging in it should be ashamed. Not knowing how to end it is shameful. Not doing anything at all is shameful. Expecting victims of racism to save themselves is shameful.

But White people aren’t ashamed, because racism has a wonderful benefit plan that pays its workers handsomely, and the benefits outweigh humiliation or shame. It pays so good even Black and Brown people dabble in it.

White people benefit from engaging in racism, teaching others to practice racism, and ignoring racism. They have no shame therefore, no humiliation amongst like-minded abusers, therefore, their behavior never changes. It just goes back to my belief most (👈🏾 👈🏾 👈🏾 👈🏾 go back and re-read the one word again) White people lack the emotional intelligence to live in racially diverse societies.

They lack the emotions to care about anything beyond their own survival, which is shameful.

Why White People Should Be Ashamed

If my lineage was associated with a group of people who believed their right to rule over other people despite constant rejection of their role, I’d be ashamed. I couldn’t rest at night knowing I’d been holding people hostage against their wills for hundreds of years, and my racial group just won’t let the oppressed go for no other reason than I couldn’t physically or financially survive without them.

If I were a part of the social group that always cheated people out of their power, rights, and privileges so that my White ass could maintain mines, I would be ashamed. If most White people were decent, they could see what they do to disenfranchise others isn’t fair and work to unrig the game to make things right. They don’t because they never spend anytime being ashamed. There is no punishment for being racist in America. Where there is no punishment, there is no correction.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed I kept promising Black people things would get better and they don’t. I would feel terrible I could do something besides life and nothing at all. It’s shame worthy.

If I were a descendant of colonizers who are currently out here spreading disease in America just like my ancestors did hundreds of years ago, killing off millions of indigenous people and Black folks across the nation, I’d humbly hang my head low in shame every day. I’d be thinking we’re still barbaric, unclean, uncaring, and we haven’t learned from our mistakes yet. But not most White folks. Ain’t no shame in their game.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed at all the forced assimilation that has been used to keep you comfortable. You stole Native Americans’ children and placed them in orphanages, cut their hair, stripped them of their native tongues, destroyed their culture, broke up their families, then you all complain about them being alcoholics. White people did the same to Africans they purchased and stole to enslave their descendants and Asian immigrants, too. Your lineage is synonymous with forced assimilation. When non-White people see you, most have feelings, and they ain’t feelings of joy. You still don’t get that your only Black friend and some of your racialized fetishes are products of our required assimilation for our survival. Forcing people all over the world to speak “proper” English because most of you feel you don’t need to learn another language is shameful. Forced assimilation is one of the cruelest things White folks engage in today.

If I were White and lived in America, I’d be ashamed to be associated with the mediocrity of Whiteness. Mediocre White men will lie, cheat, steal and do anything within their White abilities to make White money, to amass White, while exploiting non-White people who have been historically exploited by them for no other reason but their skin color, I’d be ashamed. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was associated with such inhumanity and lawlessness.

If I were White and knew my social group had run so many nations into the ground, I’d be ashamed. Instead, racist White people literally blame the victims for being unable to care for themselves and get on their feet. How can you not be ashamed of being grouped with people who are so racist, they’d allow their stolen investment (America) to be going to hell in a handbasket (see America 2020) just so racists could rage around and spew hate like White racists before them? The worst thing about it all is White folks have the audacity to have optimism about racism and race relations getting et better when we all know they won’t without White people making it better.

White people should be ashamed at all the inequities throughout our society while shouting this is the greatest nation in the world. Do you know how dumb that shit sounds? Everyone in the world seems to know that lie is not true except White people. White people will do anything to massage their fragile egos and broken moral compasses to prevent sitting with their failures.

White people needing to come up with lame slogans like “It’s Okay To Be White,” “All Lives Matter,” and “I’m Proud To Be White,” to make themselves feel good about being, when they should be ashamed because they know good and damned well how awful White people collectively are. It’s like being on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers football team (which sucks, by the way) and individual players coming up with stupid individual player slogans to detract from how horrible the entire team is. Be ashamed until you do something we can be proud of. Doing anything otherwise just makes ya look foolish. You can’t be a clean dish, in a sink full of dirty dishes, trying to sparkle, baby! Do better.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed of my collective group’s disingenuous optimism on race relations. White folks don’t even have the decency to tell you to your face they cannot and will not change, not enough of them will, anyway. For every one White person who changes, ten of them don’t. Not only do they not change, they have kids creating more future racists. White people can afford to have hope, because if they let us down, nothing happens to them directly or indirectly… except we call them racists. The worst thing to racists is being called a racist, not their behavior. It’s shameful.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed that I can always remain comfortable as I watch millions of others suffer for that comfort. I’d be ashamed that I require others to make sacrifices so that me and my children can live well. I’d be ashamed that I require the discomfort of others because I don’t believe I should ever be uncomfortable. I’d be ashamed an entire system has been created for me and my collective group to remain comfortable. White comfort requires exploitation, which is also shameful.

White people ignoring all they’ve done to African-American descendants of slaves and indigenous people to keep from having to engage in any restorative justice is shameful. When someone does something to White people, they want to lock folks up and throw away the key, especially if the perpetrators are Black or of color. When the perpetrator is our White or our White-run government, not so much. Fleeting justice in America is shameful.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed of all the racist, rude, stupid, selfish people you guys raised out here making life hard for the rest of us for no good damned reason. White folks are fucking things up at every turn right now for all of us. A lot of us don’t see White people and their political ideologies when the going gets tough, we just see White people. There is nothing to be proud of here, folks.

If I were White and I was associated by skin color directly or indirectly with the social/racial group that had done as much stuff to Black folks as White folks, I’d be eternally ashamed. To have such a long-standing vendetta against and fear of people who have done nothing to you must be exhausting. I bet sometimes you guys don’t even know why you’re fighting or afraid of us, you just fight and/or fear because other White folks encourage you to. Group think is a motherfucker!

If I were White and had taken part in racism daily, didn’t know how I was taking part in racism, and wasn’t doing anything actively to combat it socially, personally or professionally, I’d definitely be ashamed. You have blood on your hands for your sins and the sins of your relatives and ancestors.

If I were White and American, I’d be ashamed that almost every holiday on the America calendar celebrates some aspect of the nation’s White Supremacist history. How can you celebrate President’s Day, the 4th of July, Memorial Day or Thanksgiving without understanding how those days are connected to racists? And why don’t you stop? It’s shameful. Even when White people know better, they refuse to do better. Some traditions need to die.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed for being so ignorant about the systems and institution’s White people created to keep Black and Brown people oppressed. I would be ashamed of not knowing my racist footprints. I’d be ashamed for not knowing my own social group’s racist history. I’d be ashamed for raising racist children and sending people into the world to harm non-White people for the sport of it. I’d be ashamed I didn’t care.

If I were White and I know that everything created in America is created with an anti-Black bias, I’d be ashamed, because it means the people oppressed essentially can never get off of the racist rat wheel you have them on. To ignore the traps set by White folks is shameful.

To be a White man right now in America is pretty shameful. White men in America need to know you’re not viewed favorably at the moment. In fact, you’re seen as untrustworthy, cheaters, liars, schemers and skimmers, lawless, dangerous, unfair, angry, aggrieved, intimidating, malignant narcissist, irresponsible, cowards, ignorant, and inherently racist. Sorry if you’re not any of these things White men, but the light from the bad is outshining the light from the good, and it’s shameful. How do you guys allow the bad to overtake you?

Colonization is the epitome of shameful.Just bow your heads and pray, because there is absolutely nothing you can say good about it. It’s shameful, and White people should carry an eternal shame because of it.

MAGA and all that’s entailed with it is shameful. And while Black people and people of color may foolishly follow their White Pied Pipers, White folks created MAGA and made it mainstream. MAGA is shameful, and the fact after centuries White folks didn’t know what MAGA truly meant was shameful. We’re in the middle of a soft coup and White folks act like it’s not big deal. Half of America voters are White traitors, and ya’ll just let ya’ll do that to us time after time. It’s shameful.

If I were White, I’d be ashamed I’m associated with a social group that doesn’t practice what it preaches. White folks believe in religious freedom, just their religious freedom, and they’ve used it to snatch the rights of others. Just like they did when we were slaves.

White people should be ashamed we’re one of the few White, wealthy, industrialized nations in the world fully capable but unwilling to provide supports to citizens so they can stay home and preserve themselves during the pandemic. White Congressional representatives, predominantly White men, are ensuring folks lose their livelihoods, homes, cars, and jobs, just to prove a point. Some of those White men do nothing because they are too weak to stand up to the White male bullies. White folks are literally watching us die for no other reason except to maintain Whiteness. Shameful, shameful, shameful.

If I was White, I’d be ashamed at how much autonomy you take away from others. You control how non-White folks talk, dress, wear their hair, and even have us using bleach to lighten our skin tones to be more pleasing in the eyes of White people. We contort ourselves for White gazes. You should be ashamed of yourselves for requiring us to do this.

White people, feel ashamed. Look at around. Look at how White people are behaving. Not only are you being racist and spreading disease among us via misinformation and inappropriate behavior, White people are influencing high-risk minority groups to engage in risky behavior.

If I were White, I would be ashamed if you love quoting Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. because you haven’t change at all since his assassination. America will not change because White will not let it change. After four-hundred years, you can’t even control yourselves to save a nation, to save an ocean, or to save a planet.

Dr. King talked about the two Americas way back in 1967 in a speech at Stanford University, and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t sound like the same two Americas we see in 2020. Listen to the video in its entirety. Sit in shame when you’re done. It’s the Dr. King White folks never quote. It’s the one they don’t remember. It’s the Dr. King White folks don’t like.

It’s been 55-years since this video was made White people. There is something wrong. Something is broken in White people.

We Know White People, And They Never Change

When we tell you we know White people, trust me, we do. And do you know why we know White people so well? It’s because White folks never change. And for that, you all should be ashamed, but we all know very few White people ever are.

Learn how to be ashamed. Stop seeking accolades and pats on the back. Stop trying to move on from this sunken place you created for all of us, and stop being tired of us talking about racism. You should expect us to talk about how horrible you are, especially if you all have no intentions of changing.

We’ve talked to you until we have nothing left. We’re tuckered out. The race war is coming. We gotta prepare our children and families for whitelash. We’re just watching you all do what you do best, and that’s move on. It’s shameful.

A lot of you have already moved on to Christmas, New Years, the inauguration, the Winter Solstice, and other things that have nothing to do with the state of America or improving the condition of Black people living in America.

We see you White people, and ya’ll collectively should truly be ashamed of yourselves.

Marley K in Quarantine 2020

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If you enjoyed this essay, check out this story from a Black medical doctor describing her experiences as a Black physician in America practicing medicine in a White dominated profession.

Check out Dr. Brittani James, MD: “The Moment I Became Radicalized”