5 Tips for Surviving Early Parenthood
By: Mikaela Pond
Tags: Relationships, Parenthood, Parenting, Self Care, Gratitude

Being a parent is HARD. It’s the most wonderful thing to walk into their bedroom in the morning — you with yesterday’s make-up still on, hair standing in all directions, shirt in-side-out, everything sagging in ways you’ve never experienced, a questionably large aura of body odor, feeling awful over last nights bickering with your spouse — and your child looks at you like you are the BEST thing in the world!! It is the only time in my adult life that anyone, myself included, has ever given me that much unconditional love.

I love being an at home mom most of the time. Most of the time we play and sing and laugh. The constant messes and crying and middle of the night wake up calls are inconvenient, but they’re really not a problem. The reality of motherhood that makes it hard has more to do with the fact that it’s 24–7. Nobody is going to tell you it’s your lunch break, or coffee break, or that your shift is done. And if you don’t schedule your own time and protect that time, you will find yourself, 67 days “on shift” in a row, feeling so many emotions that you fall apart the second your spouse comes in the door. Or maybe you’re tougher than I am, and you end up 5 years down the road, dropping your kid off at kindergarten and sitting perplexed for the next 30 min because you actually don’t remember who you are other than “mom”.

Why does it happen? When we dream about having kids, we dream about teaching them all the cool and fun things that we like to do. I’m going to teach him to skate, ski, play hockey, plant a garden, make crafts, build things, tend to the animals, play music, sing. Dad’s going to teach him to hunt, fish, fire riffles, navigate, fix motors and ride quads and dirt bikes. But if I don’t continue doing those things that I love, I’m suppressing myself in the process of becoming mom. I am so many other things AND I am a mom.

So how am I surviving motherhood?

Gratitude

I’m a lover of Brene Brown and her books about shame, gratitude, and resilience. Gratitude is something that you’re likely very good at if you are religious and pray daily. If you’re not religious, just pick a few things that you are grateful for in life, and reflect on them.

Every morning, when my child cries to signal the start of my day, I sit at the side of my bed and I breath for 10–20 seconds. I think about how grateful I am for the opportunity to stay home, for shelter and food, for family and friends, and for my spouse. I set intentions to work hard, to keep the house, but take time to instill learning and happiness in my sons life, to be patient. I think of one thing I’d like to accomplish for myself (usually a shower would be great), and one thing I could do for my spouse (like wash his clothes, make him his favorite meal), and one family member or friend that I should check-in on. Nothing grandiose, just a few small intentions. This 10–20 seconds has been the key to my sanity.

2. Don’t Sweat it, Embrace the failure!

The constant mess is the price of fun and happiness some days.

Being a parent is like swimming in a sea of competing priorities, successes, and failures, along with an unpredictable concoction of all the emotions. Despite all the intention setting and gratitude I do, my day is nothing like a zen meditation at the spa.

People ask me all the time, “How do you it all?”. I am working on my Masters Degree, raising a son, running 2 home businesses, taking care of a small farm, and apparently blogging. So how do I do it all? The answer is quite simple, I DON’T do it all. If you’re actually doing it all, you’re probably a unicorn or a liar. I just pick the most important things for that particular day, and I chip away at the list. If it HAS to be done, I do it. Otherwise it might sit undone until it hits the top 10 on my priority list.

3. Schedule and protect time

We’ve established that I am a busy momma. Reality is that my Spouse is busy too. I am so thankful for how hard my man works for his family. He works 50 hour weeks and still manages to snowplow the driveway, chop firewood, run the dogs, keep all our motorized vehicles and toys running AND he is building our new house with a carpenter on most weekends. This makes it particularly challenging to schedule time for US. Every relationship is different, so I am not going to assume what works for us will work for everyone. But this is how we run our little family.

Sharing the chores together sometimes feels like a date night. Teamwork is key to staying mentally healthy. It starts with respect for each other and a willingness to work.

We both work hard during the day 7am-7pm and agree not to judge each other's accomplishments or lack of accomplishment. Neither of us are the type to sit and watch TV all day, so if that’s what he needs to do for a day, NO judgement here (easier said than done sometimes). We work together to complete any uncompleted top priorities.

When the boy goes to sleep, we split that free time 30–30–30, him-me-us. Which means we are both entitled to two nights away from the baby monitor and the house. I usually fill those nights with ice hockey. He usually has friends over in the shop or goes out on the snowmobile or quad. Of course this isn’t a rigid schedule. We fluidly shift based on individual and family priorities. Sometimes he doesn’t get a night to himself because I need to study for exams or finish a paper. Sometimes I don’t get a night because the pipes have frozen, or the driveway is snowed in, or our carpenter is here to work during the week. But we recognize that we both need time to ourselves and with each other. We talk about that time, and we protect that time.

4. Self-Care and Hobby’s

This ties back into remaining yourself and protecting your time. Being a parent is just a part of who you are, a HUGE part of who you are. But you are still all the things you were before, just in smaller doses than before. You need to keep doing the things you love. Once you have protected time, use it to do what you love to do.

Baby and me workouts are the easiest workouts to fit into a busy mom day. And the weight gets bigger as you get stronger.

Self-Care is so important. For me self care is my time away and my with my man. But it’s also eating right, exercising and a good skincare routine (all of which can be done with my little guy at my side).

I have a wonderful organic vegetable garden in my yard, and I love isagenix products for nutrition. Also, as a busy momma, beachbody home workouts have been so amazing for me. If you need a coach for either, the ladies I’m signed up with are so awesome and I’d be happy to pass on their info.

5. Get a Good Eye Cream!!

But SERIOUSLY!!! I get 5–7 hours of interrupted sleep, so I slather eye cream on ALL day long.

Rodan + Fields Active Hydration Bright Eye Complex

If you don’t have one, I love Rodan + Fields Active Hydration Eye Brightening Complex for those dark circles under my eyes. And Rodan + Fields Multifunction Eye Cream for puffiness and wrinkles. Claim yourself a sample!

I LOVE healthy skin and helping people get healthy skin. Join my skincare online community on Instagram or Facebook. Or shop my online store.