4 Ways to Make Self-Care Easy (without chocolate)
By: Katy-Rose
Tags: Mental Health, Self Improvement, Self Care, Resilience, Wellbeing

Photo by Sam Loyd on Unsplash

Tonight I looked after myself.

Self-care is one of those buzzwords which has taken on a different meaning over the last few years. Some people think of it as eating chocolate and having a bubble bath.

For me, it’s putting on some meditation music, vacuuming the floor which was getting me down, and making myself eat some vegetables. But it’s doing so with compassion.

I made myself pasta — a comforting and favourite dish, with added vegetables.

I couldn’t bear the idea of seated meditation today, so I combined the activity to mindfully clean and tidy.

I listened to a podcast and let myself dance around the room to it — forcing myself to move a little because all I wanted was to go for a nap on the sofa; at 5:30pm.

I shared a recent struggle with my story-teller community.

In essence, self-care is individual: yours will look different to mine, but the one thing in common is that tweaking something to make it “better” has a huge impact.

The small steps really do add up.

In 2016, I had a pretty flawless self-care routine going. I meditated daily, exercised 3x a week for at least 20 minutes, walked 3–4 times a week, ate 5-a-day most days… 2020 has been one hell of a reset for me. And going into September, I felt stable enough to begin building up.

Photo by Emma Gossett on Unsplash

For those who know me or have followed a while, I spoke about my word for 2020 being “Steadfast.” I wanted to feel rooted, after the last couple of years turned me into soup.

I wrote back then that “the difficulty for 2020 is that I’ve disintegrated so many things this year,” so that’s where I began. Seven months in, the soil is tilled, the earth sown and I am watering it ready for those seeds to grow.

What’s the first step? Consider future-you.

Thinking about what is useful for you right now, I want to focus on “What step will future-you be thankful that you took?”

Often self care is what might feel good in the moment, but the most positive aspects I’ve found is to consider what will have a positive impact longer term.

Eating chocolate will make you feel good now, then guilty, tired, bloated and that mood boost will likely be short-lived. Forcing myself to do five minutes of yoga with a glass of water instead will be harder in the moment but me-tonight will be glad of not feeling guilty or uncomfortable, the sense of achievement will boost my mood for longer, and I may even feel more energised without a sugar crash.

Equally, I was feeling emotionally drained on Wednesday, so I grabbed a frozen pizza, added my own fresh toppings (healthier or something), put on the Lion King, and then went to bed by 8pm (meditated, journalled then let myself sleep it off).

Self-care is sometimes about taking a nap and having an easy evening, but for me the important aspect is to meet my basic needs — fresh vegetables, a feel good movie to help me smile, and still fitting in my journal and meditation practise before letting myself have ‘time off’ because those will actually help me.

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I think of True Self-Care like parenting ourselves.

Whatever technique works for you, considering the longer-term positives is definitely a key factor in self-care.

Sometimes, chocolate is okay. Much like feeding my cat a treat or taking a duvet day following a hard time. I’m not saying to avoid anything. But there is a line that has blurred over the past decade between self-care and indulgence — especially those actions with a tangible downside like a sugar-crash or handover afterwards.

If you need to gamify your life, do it.

-I get “experience points” in my workouts because it’s an RPG fitness game.

-If you only drink enough water when you are trying to keep thirsty plants alive on a phone app, it’s all good.

-Ask yourself what “superhero-me” or “warrior-me” or “future-me” would do if faced with this choice.

I’ve spoken before about self-care being like parenting and why this means you don’t need discipline.

But the main block for me is in that perception of control.

If I don’t feed my cats or water my plants, or get out of bed when my alarm goes off, someone will suffer. I know it, I can see it. I know that my cats rely on me, those indoor plants need watering. I know that there will be pretty quick, negative results if I skip my duties that involve other people. And caring for others gives us a huge boost in certain neurotransmitters.

It is that sense of individuality — that eating this sugary treat won’t hurt anyone else — that often stops us from making the ‘healthy’ choice.

And often, the pull of chocolate now just outweighs the “possible” sugar crash of later. It is the idea that little choices we make don’t matter - that this one chocolate bar or one “blip” won’t add up, or that the positive NOW will outweigh any kind of negative in the future.

Photo by Jeanie de Klerk on Unsplash

The Takeaways are Simple (but not Easy).

Self-care may not always feel “relaxing” or “fun.” Self-care in my eyes is a preventative measure to avoid negatives, not necessarily a positive.

It can help to have external motivation/praise, and/or to hold yourself ‘responsible’ for your wellbeing (like cleaning the litter tray because you know you and your cat could get sick / have accidents if you don’t.)

Small items add up. My common self-care items add up to under 5 minutes a day — choosing water over soda, taking 10 deep breaths locked in the bathroom, putting on one upbeat song and singing to it in the car, standing up to stretch from my desk every 2–3 hours.

If you are too busy/have kids/are a carer/struggle with energy, consider the transitions between tasks — Waiting for the kettle to boil? Take 3 deep breaths. Brushing your teeth? Do some squats. Walking from bedroom to kitchen? Pause at the window and identify 3 things which are yellow.

Someone I coached once explained self-care as ‘Not the pop culture self-care, like a pedicure, but things that truly make you feel full.’

You cannot give if you are empty, so refill your own well regularly.

Need help reinventing yourself, managing day to day stressors and getting clarity on what tasks to focus on? Grab your free copy of the Four Steps to Reinvent Your Life here.