(Not) Driving Home for Christmas
By: Anne-Charlotte G.
Tags: Relationships, Christmas, Self Care, Life Experience, Life Lessons

(Not) Driving Home for Christmas

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva from Pexels

I’m very likely to spend Christmas’ Eve and Christmas’ Day alone this year.

I told my parents that I would not go back to France for Christmas a few weeks ago and my flatmates had plans to be away so I was prepared for this.

It’s actually not the first Christmas I’ll spend alone. The first time was 2 years ago. I was in a new job and wasn’t sure about the number of days I could get off. In addition to that, the flight between Dublin and Nantes were ‘slightly’ expensive (the joy of the law of supply and demand) and it was just too much.

Another thing to have in mind is that I’ve always had a difficult relationship with Christmas. I used to hate it. It was too painful. I always felt very lonely and a bit jealous of other people’s Christmas where all the family was actually happy to spend time together.

For me, there was no magic; it was just something to be done at the end of each year (I feel sorry for the people who love Christmas and who are reading this). Now, I would say that there are days where I feel a bit festive, seeing everyone happy, and others where I just want it to be over.

In 2018, I decided that I would spend a better Christmas at home, in Dublin, rather than at home, in France. I was also curious about spending Christmas alone. Would it be horrible or actually ok?

Turned out it was not too bad! I felt a bit lonely after a few days alone but Christmas’ Eve and Christmas’ Day went well.

Because this year is going to be a special one for a lot of people who won’t be able to see their family (whether it’s a relief or the most cruel thing of the year), I wanted to share my experience of spending Christmas alone and a few things to make it works at a time of a pandemic.

1. “All sorrows are less with bread. “ — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

First and foremost: make yourself a good dinner or order nice food (if you can). You can have a full Christmas dinner (like I did in 2018) but you can also get your favourite dish. Eat something that makes you feel happy. Bake and cook if you can.

You can even have a glass of wine although I would not suggest drinking too much to avoid any sad drunk moment or a terrible hangover (we do not want that).

2. “In this hour, I do not believe that any darkness will endure.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

Last time I was alone for Christmas, I spend Christmas’ Eve in my bed, with some food (see paragraph above) and… The Lord of the Ring. I watched the movies and read the books many, many time but it felt really comforting to spend the night in Middle Earth once again.

Pick your favourite movie or series and enjoy. Avoid anything that would be painful to watch because we’re not here to feel miserable.

You can also put your favourite playlist and sing and dance like no one is watching. You can also dress up (I think I’m going to do that this year) and just be silly.

3. “You’re on mute” — Everyone on Zoom in 2020

If you know other friends that are alone this Christmas, why don’t you organise a virtual Christmas’ Eve? It doesn’t have to last the full evening but you can have a drink, virtually watch a movie together, play games, or have dinner.

You can also call your loved ones on Christmas’ Day. If the lockdown rules in your local area allow it, you can even meet a friend during the Christmas break.

You can write Christmas card to the people you love and send them lovely gifts.

If your mind is playing tricks with you, remember that you are loved and that you are not alone.

4. “How different would people act if they couldn’t show off on social media? Would they still do it?” — Donna Lynn Hope

Seeing other people’s post on social media, reunited with their loved ones, can be particularly difficult to watch when you’re all alone and you think that no one will know if you choke on your sprouts because you are A.L.L. A.L.O.N.E. (and you’ll end up alone and your body will be found 1 month after your death, half-eaten by your 20 cats).

Avoid social media like the plague (or COVID-19). Avoid the news too.

Put your phone away. Turn the notification off. Use plane mode wisely. Put your phone in one room and go to another room (or somewhere you can’t see it all the time if you live in a studio), delete apps…

Observe your emotions and feeling when you are on your phone and avoid anything that causes pain or sadness.

Be your best friend during this period.

5. “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde

Take a bath, go for a walk (I remember how quiet the streets of Dublin were on Christmas Day!), read a book (or two), clean your room, book a massage or a spa (if lockdown rules allow), do some journaling, get yourself a Christmas gift, etc.

You are here for yourself.

Something I’m currently learning (in addition to playing the piano) is that we get unhappy and anxious when we focus too much and what we don’t have.

If you’re spending Christmas alone, in the middle of a pandemic, make it playful. Make it like it’s a once in a lifetime experience. You survived 2020, celebrate it!

It’s going to be ok. I promise you.