How to Prevent Baby Mama Drama
Tags: Babymother, Drama, Stepmother, Fatherhood, Marriage

So you found the perfect man with some baggage. What if that baggage is an angry and bitter baby mother? First thing first! Analysis the situation and ask yourself if he is even worth it.

If he currently LIVES with the mother of his child/children, just walk away.

The only type of baby mothers that wants the father of their child/children are the ones that are still being entertained. So if she wants him back, wants to work on being a family or doesn’t want him to be with anyone but her, there is a reason for that. He is still giving her hope and most likely still being sexual with her. Women do not move on if they think there’s a chance to fix a relationship. In this case, save yourself the headache and leave that man exactly where you left him at.

Now not all cases involving drama with the baby mama has to do with her wanting him back. Some are either angry because he has moved on making her a single mother, he doesn’t support the child/children financially or makes no effort in being in the child/children’s life.

As bad as it sounds, there are women who have kids just to trap a man or get pregnant with a man unwilling to commit to her. Having to come to the realization that you have to raise a child alone when that was not your intentions leaves a woman’s heart full of resentment and anger.

A father’s relationship with his child/children says a lot about him. A good man is involved in their lives even if he and the mother are not together. He also pays financially because let’s face it… kids are not cheap and the mother did not make the child/children on their own. A man not able to handle his responsibilities as a father would not be a good option to invest a future with.

Ok so let’s say this man you are interested in pursuing a relationship with has completely moved on from the mother of his child, she no longer wants a relationship with him and is a good father but she is making life difficult for ya’ll, what is next?

BRING IT TO THE COURT ! A man has every right to be in his child/children’s life. Certain situations vary and it might make things more difficult like if the father has had prior charges but even supervised visitation is better than not seeing the child/children at all.

Paying child support eliminates being taken advantage of. When dealing with an uncompromising woman, doing things through the court is as fair as it’s going to get and makes the situation easier.

Court ordered mediation makes it possible for both parents to agree on a schedule for the child/children. That takes the baby mother’s full control away and forces her to stick to that schedule whether she wants to or not. She CANNOT keep the child/children away from him as long as he fights for them.

From my own personal experience dealing with an angry baby mother, my best advice is to keep the peace at all cost. Me and my husband have been married for two years now and even after paid child support, court and mediation, we still seem to occasionally bump heads with the mother of his children but it is nothing compared to how it was before. There were times when it became a bit too much. He is a good man and a good father and as much as the situation stressed me out, it stressed him out even more. Seeing him broken down, I had to make a decision. Either stick by his side and lift him up or go my separate way. I stayed because he was worth it and I’m happy I did.

Throughout these years I had to deal with her disrespecting me, calling my names, trash talking me and even going publicly expressing her dislike towards me on Facebook. So how do I handle it ? I DONT.

I have never exchanged words with her even till this day and I don’t plan to. Sure there were many times I wanted to give her a piece of my mind and let her have it. No it was not easy and I understand that not everyone can do this but being aware of the bigger picture is key. The mother of my husband’s children is a broken woman. Deep down I can sympathize with her because If I were in her shoes, I would probably feel the same. The boy she once thought she would have a family and future with is now a man happily married to someone else. She never had the man I have now. Their relationship was toxic and they both have scarred and hurtful past memories of each other. Seven years later and she refuses to let this anger go as it lingers with each conversation and interaction he has with her about the kids.

Dealing with Baby mamas like her can take a toll in any relationship. She likes arguing, fighting and getting a reaction out of people. Even trying to be cordial with her was a fail. Ultimately she just wants my husband to be as miserable as she is and tries her best to make that possible still till this day because of the hatred she has for him.

“Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.” Proverbs 26:20

Simply put, we don’t put fuel to the fire. We cannot change the way she feels but we can change the way we react towards her. Before if my husband responded back to her long offensive text messages, it would just go back and forth with no solution just spiteful words. Now anytime she tries to engage in an argument, she gets left on read. That allows her to simmer down and come correct the next text she sends. Not only has that helped with co-parenting but also in our marriage. Me and my husband both came to an agreement to not let the mother of his children get in the middle of our relationship or to affect our relationship with his kids because it is all about the kids.