My realization on why taking care of your body is important.
By: Olivia Bascombe
Tags: Body Positive, Body, Mental Health, Body Image, Health

Ive gone through my entire life treating my body like it’s something that can recharge with a good nap or a healthy meal. The reality is it’s not like that at all. Your body is the shell we live in for decades on, something that is so vital to your life but everyone tends to forget. Personally I had to realize this the hard way.

To start with some background knowledge about me. When I was three years old I was diagnosed with epilepsy I’ve gone through it my whole life. I’ve been lucky enough to not have it severe as most others do, I’ve been controlled by medicine & haven’t had a severe seizure since the time I was three. They have tried taking me off my meds multiple time but they’re was always activity in my brain that I never noticed. Another thing to know about me is I’m a dedicated aerialist & athlete. I started aerial silks when I was eleven & have been performing since I was twelve. Just recently I auditioned for the traveling performance company with in my studio. This was something I have dreamed to be apart of ever since I started aerial. I worked my body really, really hard and I have managed to injure my hips, lower back, left hamstring, and neck all because of how hard I worked my body.

Another thing to know is I just straight up don’t treat my body the way I should. I drink little water even though I workout constantly, I consume way more caffeine then what is healthy, I haven’t taken my epilepsy medicine in over a month, I tend to fall in deep depressive episodes, & I cause a lot of the thing that effect my mental health in a negative way.

The last thing I do that is not good for me is I suffer from chronic sleep paralysis & nightmares daily. I have done absolutely nothing for treatment on these terrifying episodes. I also have extremely poor hygiene & that causes acne & other issues.

As you can tell, I don’t have a healthy relationship with my body & mental health.

No one notices, and can I blame them? Not at all. From the outside you see me and I’m this fit girl with occasional abs, a strong upper body, & very self aware of her body & her movements. I eat fairly well (minus the amount of chick fil a I consume) & I’ve never shown signs of weakness.

But the way I’ve treated my body has caught up with me extremely this recent year.

To start off with mental health, I have been at an all time low & have not treated it what so ever. My motivation for anything besides silks has been completely non existent. I’m in many Honors & AP classes and I am the chief of my schools yearbook. I’m failing most of my classes & have been late in most things that have to do with yearbook. My brain feels numb, I’ve had many traumatic experiences in my life from bullying, watching my dad get arrested, terrible relationships with my mom, & being led on by the guy I loved whilst suffering from the worst heart break of my life so far. I have done absolutely nothing to fix this & I have fallen into a depressed state that I have lost control over entirely. This all has effected me the most this past month. I’ve never felt worse but I’ve barely talked about any of it besides the heartbreak that most know by now.

Next is my injuries. As I’ve stated before I work my body very hard for what I love to do. Last year I suffered from displaced hips and it has been a huge issue ever since, I’ve gone to three chiropractors and have considered physical therapy. I’ve gotten multiple x-rays but it showed I have nothing wrong with me. As mention before even though I have these injuries I still work my very hardest for aerial & performing. Last month was my auditions, something I’ve been training, for months for. I’ve had a history of fainting but I never thought anything of it. At the auditions I started off really strong but as soon as I got to the part of flexibility, all hell broke loose. I did my splits & the most excruciating pain in my hips showed, I had to stay in that position for both sides & my middle split as it just got worse. In the midst of all the pain I managed to tear my hamstring & never noticed. I managed to hide the pain until I had to do my bridge. I went into it normal & then everything got dizzy as I fainted & fell to the floor. I soldiered through the rest of the day but I felt the effects greatly the day after when I woke up & I could barely walk. Therefore I managed to injure most of my lower back and have yet to regain the flexibility I once had.

As you can tell life hasn’t been the easiest lately & I never realized how awful I truly treated myself, until that day.

The day it all became real.

It was a normal morning as always, I woke up semi late for school. I went downstairs & as I did the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my entire life became evident. My neck was in so much pain & I have no clue why. I couldn’t move my head it was so bad. I walked up to my mother who was making my lunch as I grabbed some water & told her what was happening. She tried rubbing my neck but nothing would help, i tried putting my head down but that only made it worse. I started to panic, my mom tried to calm me down as I got up & tried to move me to the couch. Everything then became dizzy & I couldn’t see anything at all. My hearing also didn’t work & I felt very light headed. All of a sudden everything went black.

I woke up on the floor & being as I’m epileptic & this was exactly what happened when I was three my mom instantly thought I had a seizure. She woke me up & told me I was out for a minute & a half. She ran to get my brother & roommate & called the ambulance.

The ambulance came & the EMTs surrounded me checking my vitals & keeping me from passing out again. They stuck in an IV & gave me oxygen. I was in the hospital for most of the day and suffered from extreme neck pain.

My doctor told me this information: I have a condition that when I feel extreme pain my bodies only reaction is to pass out. This is what happened at my auditions and it’s now happening again. I’ve now been told that if I don’t start treating my body the way I should I may never be able to do aerial again which is my worst nightmare being as it’s my only release.

Here’s what I learned

Don’t do what i did. I know for a fact there are many people who treat themselves way worse then I do. Those who don’t eat, those self harm, those who eat very unhealthy, and those that keep putting themselves through the same heart break.

I want to tell all those people that right now is the time, the time to understand the problem & seek help immediately, cause guess what; this body you have is the only one you will ever get. The only thing that will always be there for you. So don’t treat it the way I have. It’s okay to choose to take a nap, or eat a good meal, or do your favorite activity.

I never want to see all these beautiful people destroy the things that make them so beautiful. Themselves!!

Be your full authentic self, take care of yourself, because at the end of the day it will always be you.

I have a lot to work on for now, learning when to take a break & try to be myself again. Now is as good as a time then any. Always remember how truly gorgeous you really are inside & out.

Drink water. Eat. Get proper sleep. Take your necessary meds. & be yourself!