I Didn’t Believe in Fate…
By: Kimberly A. Irwin
Tags: Short Story, Romance, Storytelling, Love, Med Daily

Have you ever had an absolutely perfect night?

One where literally, nothing goes wrong, and it feels like the stars have magically aligned to give you one night of total and complete bliss?

I have had one such perfect, blissful, magical night in my young life.

The start of which, you’ll think I stole right from a Hollywood movie, but I swear it’s the truth. But let me start from the beginning…

It was a Saturday in April.

Everyday that week had been unseasonably cold, with temperatures still in the 30s and 40s. But incredibly, and much delayed, the weather did a 180 and was a gorgeous summer-like day that Saturday, reaching temperatures well in the 80 degree range. It was so nice out that day, that even though I didn’t have any plans, I knew I wanted to get outside and enjoy the nice weather. So, being very impromptu, with no forethought whatsoever, I decided to join my roommate, Lisa, who was planning to meet up with her friend Sarah later that evening and head into DC.

For some reason, H street stood out in my mind. A coworker had mentioned that he thought H street was the best area in DC for rooftop bars and nightlife, so I convinced the group to head to H street even though that was relatively far for us, since we lived out in Arlington, and H street is further in DC, in the Northeast quadrant.

After finding a great spot for dinner, Lisa and I popped into a quaint coffee shop next door as we waited for Sarah (who was meeting us there).

Sarah arrived a few minutes later, but was hungry as she had missed the nice dinner Lisa and I had just enjoyed. They decided to head across the street to get a “sushi burrito.” I hung back at the coffeeshop to charge my phone, as it was almost dead.

So I was just standing there, next to the trash can and coffee sweeteners, scrolling through the newsfeed on my phone, when a handsome stranger who’s sitting near me at the bar, turns to me and breaks the ice by making a comment about how I’m tethered to my phone. I laughed and agreed, and immediately noticed how cute he was and that he had a German accent. He spoke English impeccably well, but there was no denying the accent. He had a kind face, with soulful blue eyes behind glasses that made him look very smart and studious, framed by slightly wavy light brown hair. I also noticed that he had been reading a book.

An attractive foreign man, in a coffee shop, reading a book, who decided to strike up conversation with me, the weird girl standing by her phone next to the trash cans.

We started talking and I soon discovered that Geoffrey (that’s his name) was in fact from Germany, and was just in town for one more night, as he was leaving for New York the next day to continue his PhD interviews. He was a PhD student studying Political Science who lived in Berlin, but traveled a lot for his work, and even used to work for the U.N. His worldliness and intelligence instantly drew me to him, and I shared with him how I was raised all over as a military kid, and used to live abroad in Germany. There was an instant connection between us; it felt like I was talking to a long lost best friend. There were no awkward pauses or lulls in conversation. Everything just flowed, so easily and effortlessly.

An attractive foreign man, in a coffee shop, reading a book, who decided to strike up conversation with me, the weird girl standing by her phone next to the trash cans.

After talking for about 10 minutes still standing awkwardly by my phone, I realized hey, he’s not getting bored of this, and neither am I. So I decided to join him at his table and sat down to continue our conversation, keeping my phone still charging on a counter within eyesight. We must’ve talked for at least 20 more minutes when I realized my friends should’ve returned. I explained that after my friends got back that we were planning to scope out some rooftop bars since the weather was so nice, and mustered up the courage to ask if he’d like to join us. (He’d previously shared that he was staying at a hostel down the street and didn’t really know anyone in the area.) He smiled widely and said yes, he’d love to join us. So we sprang up from our seats and set off to find Lisa and Sarah, who it turned out, had already come back, and snuck past us while we were engulfed in conversation, and were in the bathrooms upstairs. After rejoining the group and making brief introductions, we set out to find the nearest rooftop bar.

As we were leaving, Lisa turned to me and behind Geoffrey’s back mouthed “He’s cute!” and gave me a thumbs up. I blushed and kept walking.

We found a nearby rooftop bar soon after, that had beautiful twinkle lights set up all around. I couldn’t help but feel electrified myself — a handsome stranger was following me to a bar, and so far seemed entranced by conversation with me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt this excited and this at ease talking to a guy before.

We headed to the bar, where we looked and mused over the specials. Geoffrey discovered they were out of mint so it was absurd they even had mojitos as an option on their menu (what I would have ordered if they had, I love mojitos). So instead I ordered a gin and tonic, my usual go-to drink, and even though I got the sense that wasn’t his drink, he ordered the same to match, and politely paid for both our drinks.

Once armed with our refreshments, we walked to the edge of the roof near a banister, and leaned against it to continue talking. We didn’t mean to isolate ourselves from Lisa and Sarah, but they got their drinks separately and remained near us but stayed out of conversation, allowing us to have some alone time, which, in hindsight, I appreciated.

I don’t remember asking, but I must’ve asked him how tall he was, because I learned that he was 6’2”; an entire foot taller than me, and I had stupidly worn flats that day, which didn’t help. To compensate, he leaned some and rested his weight on his arm against the banister, to be slightly more eye level with me.

I don’t recall exactly what we said, but I know it was an amazing conversation. We talked about travel, politics, and current events (he was very liberal and of course well versed on current political trends, being a political science PhD candidate), and a little more about our backgrounds. The whole time, he looked at me with these eyes, like I was the most incredible woman he’d ever laid eyes on. His stare kept making me blush, and propelled the butterfly feeling in my stomach.

After we’d been talking for about 30 minutes, and were almost done with our drinks (He had finished, I’d been nursing mine), I mustered up the courage to ask him a question that had been lingering in the back of my mind — his age. I knew from looking at him and hearing that he already had his Masters degree, that he was definitely older than me, I just wasn’t sure how much.

Age is a topic I’m very sensitive about. I’ve always been young for my age; I was a whole year younger than everyone in my class growing up (summer baby), then I graduated college a semester early, so I’m used to feeling like the youngest in the room most places, and have always felt like I need to prove my maturity at work and in social circles. I wanted to know how old he was, but I did not want him to know how young I was, and get the wrong impression that I was too young or immature.

Nevertheless, my curiosity and apparent deprecation of inhibitions after only one drink, I asked him in a hesitant voice, “Do you mind my asking…how old you are?” I looked up at him, expecting some sort of reaction.

Instead, Geoffrey’s face remained serene. “I am 31,” he answered without hesitation. He paused, giving me a moment to digest the information.

31. Older than I thought my dating range was, (for the small time I had dabbled in dating apps, I’d always put my cap at 29) but definitely not too old. He then looked at me with his inquisitive blue eyes.

“And you?” he asked, curiosity apparent in his voice now.

I winced. That was the question I didn’t want to answer.

I drew in a breath and said, “I am…almost 25.” Which was true. I was 24, and would be 25 in a few months. So a little bit of a stretch, but not a lie.

This time he did react. He raised his eyebrows slightly.

“Huh,” he said. “I would have thought you were slightly older. I guessed 27 or 28.”

Hearing him say that made me smile. At least I didn’t come across too young and immature. I probably should have kept the mystery to my advantage a little while longer, but ah well.

I pointed to my roommate, and said, “She’s 29.” Geoffrey again looked bemused, as he turned his head slightly to observe Lisa attempt to flirt with any and every man at the bar.

“I would have thought she was 23 or 24.” This again made me smile. I liked that he thought I was the more mature one in our group. Then we changed the subject and kept talking for quite a while more, until we were finally interrupted by Lisa and Sarah, who had clearly grown bored of this bar and wanted to move on to a new place.

We all agreed we’d like a change of scenery, and after learning there was a Biergarten Haus down the street, we decided to head there. It seemed too perfect; visiting a German beer garden after meeting a handsome German man. Again, like the night had been written in the stars.

Photo by Tatiana Rodriguez on Unsplash

We entered the Biergarten Haus (Geoffrey showed his international ID, which threw the bouncer for a loop at first, but let him in thankfully), and headed upstairs to their rooftop, which was equally gorgeous, but more lively and fun with a larger crowd than the previous place. We went to the bar and scanned the menu full of German beers with hard to pronounce names. Talking about the different types of beer and hearing his pronunciation of the names was pretty fun, and again he ordered to match me, and ordered us a type of non-hoppy beer (can’t remember the name) after learning I don’t like hoppy beer.

We took our half liter steins and this time decided to be more social, and sat at a table with the group. Lisa and Sarah had managed to find two guys to sit with us in the time we took to order, so they joined the conversation. Talking with the group was fine, but the more we participated in small talk, the more I itched to get Geoffrey alone again and resume our one-on-one conversation like before. Also, one of the guys was a little drunk and belligerent, and seemed to be trying to goad Geoffrey by saying “his grandaddy had fought in WW2 against the Germans.”

Luckily Geoffrey didn’t take the bait, and stayed smiling and happy and answered his mildly insulting questions. When there was a slight lull in conversation, I seized upon my chance, and grabbed my stein and Geoffrey’s hand, (he reflexively grabbed his own stein to keep pace with me) and whisked him off the stool and led him downstairs where it was quieter and we could be alone.

As we walked briskly away he leaned and whispered in my ear, “Thank you! I wanted to do that but didn’t want to be rude.” I beamed internally, feeling proud of myself for not hesitating, and finished leading us to an empty booth, secluded from the noise of upstairs. Hardly anyone was on the main level as the roof was by far the popular option.

We cozied up next to each other on the same side of the booth, and kept talking, this time mostly about books and likes and dislikes. I remember I wrote a few titles down of books he recommended. One of which was “All the Light We Cannot See.” I told him I’d look up the titles he shared later, and meant it.

Again, he stared at me with those achingly beautiful eyes, that almost had a hunger to them, but in a non-predatory way. I could feel the electricity hum between us, and knew we both felt the same intense attraction. I could also sense he’d need a little encouragement from me before making a move, so, to let him know it was ok, I slowly leaned in closer to him, and quickly looked at his lips and slowly back up again to meet his gaze.

He needed no further encouragement.

The next thing I knew we were kissing. He pressed his lips to mine with an urgency and desire I hadn’t experienced in a long time, and soon we were fully making out, with my hands wrapping around his head and into his hair. After a minute or so, we become aware of ourselves again, and broke apart, and smiled and nuzzled each other. I rested my head against his shoulder, and just felt…euphoric. Like I never wanted the night to end.

The rooted-in-reality side of my brain reminded me that he had said he was leaving the next day to fly to New York, and then soon was going back to Berlin. I pushed the thought away. Tonight was all that mattered.

Shortly thereafter, Lisa and Sarah again came to join us. They’d struck out with the boys they’d found there, and again wanted to find a new place. After sitting and chatting with them for a little while in the booth, we decided to go to one more spot. I didn’t even hear where they wanted to go, and I doubted Geoffrey cared either. We just wanted to be together.

Tonight was all that mattered.

We followed them to the final destination of the evening, a bar that hosted arcade games, making it a more ideal way to interact with and flirt with men, which is what Lisa and Sarah both wanted. They were definitely on the prowl. I giggled to myself, thinking how I’d come out, definitely not on the prowl, but was the first in the group to find a man I wanted to spend time with.

Geoffrey and I played skeeball (we were both terrible at it, but I somehow managed to score slightly more points) while Lisa and Sarah played shuffleboard and flirted with the guys they played against. After Geoffrey and I finished our game, we got another drink and sat at an empty table and just kept talking. We would kiss a little too, then break apart, smile, and continue our conversation. It was the most fun I’d ever had in a night out ever. The way he would look at me, like I was the most interesting person in the world, when that’s clearly not true, made me blush and only fueled the butterflies more. It was definitely getting late at this point, but I didn’t feel tired at all. Only exhilarated.

The next thing I knew, the bar was turning the lights on and doing last call. I quickly went to the bathroom, and Geoffrey politely waited for me. By the time I emerged the whole bar had cleared with only Geoffrey remaining, waiting for me. We exited and were the last ones to leave.

As we left I kept thinking, oh no, the night’s over! I’m never going to see him again. I looked to Lisa for guidance, expecting her to want to come back to the apartment, and hung outside with Geoffrey, who was just smiling at me, waiting to hear what the plan was. He looked like he was willing to follow me anywhere.

After a minute or so of me awkwardly stalling, Lisa finally approached me and asked, “Liz, are you waiting for me?” And gestured that the two of us should go on ahead. “I think Sarah and I are going to stay out with these guys,” she explained, like I was a naive teenager who didn’t yet know the ways of the world.

I felt like an idiot. Of course. She’d told me they were on the hunt for men tonight. She was an adult. Of course they were going back to their places.

Their goal is to get laid. Duh…

That meant, I suddenly realized, that I now had the daunting choice ahead of me of either asking a wonderful stranger to come back to my place, or of saying good-bye, and risk never seeing him again.

Lisa gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder with a sympathetic look, then turned back to her group to call an uber.

When I’m nervous I fidget, so of course I started balancing on the railing, and swayed back and forth a little. Then I angled myself on the bottom rung of the railing to be a little taller so I could look Geoffrey better in the eye, and gave him the low-down of the plan I had hastily devised.

He just looked at me with those same, happy, patient eyes.

I took a deep breath, and prefaced, “Ok, so here’s the deal…I would like to keep talking to you…so we could go back to my place…BUT only with the full disclosure,” I paused and looked into his eyes to make sure he was paying attention. He was definitely listening, his eyes didn’t leave my face. “…that if you did come over…that nothing is going to happen.”

I dropped my gaze from his, and added under my breath, “I’ve only been with one guy.”

Geoffrey stepped closer to me, so we were within inches from each other, put his arm around my waist to still my swaying, and said softly, but oh so sweetly, “Of course. I would never want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

Thank god he was supporting me with his arm otherwise my knees might’ve buckled I swooned so hard.

Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

With that, I called us an uber to my place, and the entire time riding over together all I could think was “Oh my god I’m bringing a man home with me. Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

I had never brought a man back to my place. Ever. This was not something I did nor really condoned. I don’t judge others for doing it, but it’s just never been my thing. I’ve always been the careful, cautious one. I’m the worrier and list-maker. I don’t spur-of-the moment ask a handsome charming stranger, who is definitely older and probably more experienced than I am, to come back to my place at close to 3 o’clock in the morning. What the hell was I thinking?!

I told him in the car that my room was messy, and that I’d need a couple minutes to tidy up. When we got there though he needed to use the bathroom, which I lamented I hadn’t cleaned in a while either, but thought it was ok for the most part. While he went to the bathroom, which is attached to the entrance of my bedroom, I hurriedly rushed to my bed and swept off the clean laundry I’d left piled on my bed into a laundry bin. There was no time to neatly fold, so the clothes would just have to stay in a pile in a laundry bin next to the bed. I grabbed any visible trash I could find on my desk and on my floors and hastily threw away. I was finishing making the bed, tucking in the sheets, when Geoffrey slowly emerged from the bathroom and fully took in the view of my room. I’d helped it some but it definitely wasn’t clean, and winced internally hoping he didn’t think I was a total slob.

He scanned my room, and noticed my diploma propped up against my bureau, and went over to look at it. After standing awkwardly for a second, we both sat down on my bed, mostly because there wasn’t anywhere else to sit.

I honestly can’t remember if we started talking first or kissing first. I probably said something like “Please excuse the mess, it’s not normally this bad,” and he probably said, “It’s totally fine, my place is worse.” Whatever it was, it must’ve been inconsequential, but I do remember shortly thereafter we were making out rather heavily.

We fell sideways onto the bed, and to get a better angle I straddled him and we made out with me on top. Again I could feel the hunger and the lust radiating from both of us. And yet he remained in control of himself; yes he kissed me feverishly and ran his hands along my back, but he never tried to take my clothes off or escalate things any further from kissing and some slight grinding. He would only move at the pace I allowed, as he’d promised before.

After a few heated minutes, we both needed to come up for air. We lay next to each other, panting slightly, and then propped ourselves up against the pillows so we were sitting upright again.

Neither of us seemed tired, despite the late hour. I asked him more questions about his work and things he’d written. I pulled up my computer so he could show me his website, where all his latest articles he’d written were stored. He was so impressive and intelligent. I just loved listening to his stories.

He told me about his travels to India and Sri Lanka. I told him about my family’s most recent trip to Patagonia, and again used my computer to pull up pictures, this time of me and my family. I realized in the back of my mind I was sharing an awful lot of personal details with this man I had just met. I wanted to though, and hoped he didn’t mind or think it was weird.

I put my computer down and we began kissing again. This time longer and more passionate than the first. We grinded against each other, this time with him on top of me, and it took all the self restraint I had to not take his shirt off — signaling I was ok to go further.

Two things stopped me. 1) My moral goody-two-shoes compass. I knew I would feel guilty the next morning if I slept with a man I had just met, no matter how incredible he was. 2) I had not shaved “down there” in quite a while and knew it was untamed and I was not about to let him see that.

So yea, mostly #2.

Birth control could have been a third reason, but wasn’t really a reason; yes not having a condom is kind of an issue, but I have an IUD in my arm, which is good for five years, so if we had, and he didn’t have any STDs, it would have been fine.

The second time we came up for air, we talked about art and music. I said I did musical theatre in high school and a little in college. While on this topic, Geoffrey opened up some more and shared that he liked to sing. This grabbed my attention. A man who could sing? Yes please. I could have added that I also like to sing and have written songs before, but I was so enthralled that he liked to sing I just asked questions about him.

“So what range are you? Tenor? Baritone?” I guessed.

Geoffrey shook his head. “No, I sing the bass.”

This surprised me because he didn’t have a super low talking voice, but man alive, if it’s not the sexiest thing to hear a man say that he sings bass. I had to hear his sexy deep singing voice, and pleaded with him sweetly to sing for me. He protested at first, saying he only ever sang in a choir and had never sung solo for anyone before. Finally, he said, “Alright. If you get me a glass of water, maybe I’ll sing for you.”

“No, I sing the bass.”

I sprang up gleefully and headed to the kitchen to fetch some water. I’d offered when he first arrived and he’d said no, but after close to another 2 hours of talking (and making out) he was understandably parched.

As I was walking back to my room, water glass in hand, I could hear Geoffrey singing. I entered my bedroom smiling and saw Geoffrey propped up on my bed, singing in his beautiful deep voice a German lullaby. I couldn’t understand a word he was singing but it was so beautiful. I sat next to him probably smiling like a crazy person before remembering to hand him his drink when he finished.

After taking a drink and setting it down, Geoffrey looked up at me, incredulous. “No one has ever gotten me to sing for them before,” he mused aloud. I grinned. I liked keeping our night of firsts alive. I wanted him to remember me. I knew he was leaving first thing the next day. It was the only dark cloud hanging over our otherwise perfect night. I didn’t want him to leave and forget what we shared. I knew I wouldn’t. So him saying that, made me feel a little bit of joy, that this at least, would stand out in his mind.

Soon after, we couldn’t ignore how late it was any longer. It was past 5 am, and he said he needed to get up at 9 to head back to his hostel and check out by 11.

I managed to find him a toothbrush, and we both brushed our teeth and got ready for bed. I changed into pajamas but kept my bra on. Geoffrey took off his buttoned shirt but left his white undershirt and pants on. We snuggled for a moment when we got under the covers, but I felt weird, like we were acting like a couple, so moved over to give him his own space and we slept separately the rest of the night.

Even though my body was exhausted by that point, and was aching for me to fall asleep, my mind was still electrified knowing I had a man in my bed sleeping next to me. I was also still super horny from all the making out, and fantasized about being bold enough to kiss him some more and take things to the next level. My reasons from earlier stopped me. With all these high energy emotions running, it took me quite a while to finally doze off.

My alarm went off at 9, and after I shut it off and rolled over to look to see if Geoffrey was awake, I found him already staring at me. Looking up at me with those same “You’re beautiful” dreamy eyes he had. I felt myself blush and feel self conscious at the same time. I knew I couldn’t look amazing first thing in the morning. I covered my mouth to hide my morning breath and asked him if he’d like some coffee. He surprised me yet again by saying he doesn’t like coffee, but would take tea instead if I had it. It was too early for me to put the irony together in that moment, but realized later how ironic it was that we met in a coffee shop when he doesn’t like coffee.

I made us some tea, and we sat at the kitchen table and talked some more about how much we both enjoyed last night, and his travel plans to New York. He also told me about how he’s a “tea enthusiast” and special orders specific tea brands when he travels abroad. Everything he said made me more and more interested in him. We could’ve kept talking for several more hours as we had the night before, but sadly he did have to go. He gathered his book and phone and wallet, and we said our goodbyes. We pecked quickly on the lips — a long lingering make out kiss would not have been appropriate anymore, although I did want to — and waved as he left my apartment and headed down the elevators.

Fortunately I did have his number, we’d already added each other on Facebook, so I knew we had the potential to keep in touch. I hoped with all my heart that we would.

But first — sleep. I ate a little something as I was hungry, then went back to bed where I slept for a solid 5 hours.

When I woke up I checked my phone to see if Geoffrey had messaged me and was disappointed to see that he hadn’t.

Doubt started to creep in. Maybe that night wasn’t that special to him after all, as it had been for me? Then, suddenly, I remembered that he had given me his number and I’d never given him mine. He’d said I’d need to download WhatsApp to text since he had an international phone number.

I quickly downloaded the app and found him in my contacts. I checked the time and figured it probably wasn’t too early to text, and said:

“Hey! This is Liz. I hope you made it on time to your bus. I just took a casual 5 hour nap haha.”

He replied back in under 10 mins and we texted for the next 2 hours. The fact that he still wanted to talk to me made me smile. We started talking about favorite tv shows and he shared that he owns the entire box set of all the How I Met Your Mother episodes! My hands down favorite show! The more I learned about him the more attractive and alluring he became.