Dating After Divorce- How To Date With Confidence After A Long Term Relationship
Tags: Dating, Narcissistic Abuse, Narcissism, Self Love, PTSD

From Life Is Love School (LifeIsLoveSchool.com)

Are you terrified of dating because you think you might make the same painful mistake again?

“I don’t know where to start” is a common refrain from people newly out of a long term relationship. Dating can fill us with trepidation if we’ve been out of the scene for a while and we had a track record of heartaches. How do we find a great partner, knowing that the dating pool is rife with liars, cheaters, users, and abusers?

If this resonates with how you feel, then you will enjoy this episode with Chrissy.

Chrissy and I met through the “Self-Love Challenge” workshop I hosted in October of 2019. I was impressed by her confidence, exuded only by someone who knows her value intrinsically. As I got to know Chrissy more, I learned that her strength came out of the crucible of several painful relationships with narcissistic partners, including a physically violent ex-husband. Much to Chrissy’s credit, she realized that these relationships’ had one commonality, and that’s her. She was determined to heal whatever was inside her that resulted in this painful pattern, so it does not repeat.

Hear Chrissy talk about how knowing her worth changed her approach to men entirely and the powerful mindset she holds while navigating the treacherous water of dating. We go in-depth on red flags you shouldn’t ignore and why feeling an overwhelming sense of connection early on in a relationship might be a warning signal instead of a blessing.

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Many dating advice focuses on strategies, made famous by books such as “The Rules,” but this is upside-down thinking. A person without a healthy sense of self who dates with strategies is playing games — she is pretending to give but hoping to get the love and approval from others that she is unwilling to give herself. Even if she can mask the underlying needy energy for a while, sooner or later, the charade will be up, and the manipulations will backfire (See “ Why playing hard to get doesn’t work “).

“ I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I’m not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person — love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship. “ — Jennifer Lopez

Instead, know that there’s no shortcut to love. We have to strengthen our self-worth first, and this is work that no one can do for us. Others can only love us to the extent we love ourselves. When we love and value who we are, our actions will automatically align with the confident, magnetic person we know ourselves to be, and others can’t help but be attracted to us too.

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