Did Covid cancel your Christmas? Here are seven tips for enjoying the holiday alone — from someone who has done it (a lot)
By: Skylar Baker-Jordan
Tags: Lists, Loneliness, Christmas, Mental Health, Covid 19

The author, drunk and sledding on the campus of Western Kentucky University, Christmas Eve 2010. Photo: unknown stranger who was kind enough to take his picture

Like the Grinch who stole Christmas, Covid-19 is keeping many of us home for the holidays. With much of the UK under travel restrictions and the unmitigated spread of the virus causing many Americans to cancel plans, countless people are facing a rather blue Christmas.

Spending Christmas alone is scary and upsetting, especially if you have never done it before. A time of family, togetherness, and merriment, it can feel impossible to escape the festive atmosphere, which only reminds you just how utterly alone you are. It’s enough to make even the jolliest elf feel glum.

My first Christmas spent alone was in 2009. I was a broke university student without the means to travel home, so I stayed in my dingy little apartment with my pitiful little Christmas tree and a bottle of grain alcohol. Safe to say, it was a low point.

Determined never to repeat that mistake, but still equally broke in 2010, I decided to make the best of a bad situation. To my surprise, I quite enjoyed the peace and quiet that a Christmas by yourself can provide.

Over the next decade, I spent several Christmases on my own. As you can imagine, I have learned a few lessons along the way. Here are seven tips for making this Christmas by yourself an enjoyable one:

1. Accept that you are spending Christmas alone

That first Christmas I was on my own, I called up a local homeless shelter in hopes of volunteering. My thought was that if I couldn’t be with my family, at least I could give back to my community. The homeless shelter, however, did not need me; spots for volunteers were booked weeks in advance.

That felt like rubbing salt in the wound, and I spent the entire day moping that I was by myself. I tried to find an open bar (in Bowling Green, KY, this was a fool’s errand), debated going to church — anything that would put me in the company of others.



That isn’t a possibility this year. We’re all alone because we’re social distancing and self-isolating, which means that even if you could go down your local boozer or worship at your church, you shouldn’t. Accept that you will be alone. That includes letting yourself feel however you feel about it. Are you angry? Scream. Are you sad? Cry. Do what you have to do, because your feelings on this awful situation are perfectly valid. But, know that after your throat has gone hoarse or your tears have dried, you will be okay.

2. Remember what you do have



Christmas is my favourite time of year, so not decorating or baking Christmas treats or singing Christmas carols was never an option for me. Over the years, though, I recalibrated my expectations. The Christmas season became less about 25 December, which I began to view as the end of the celebration rather than its climax, and instead became about the month of December more generally. I threw a massive Christmas party sometime in the middle of the month, with friends coming from across the country to celebrate. I reached out to loved ones I hadn’t talked to in a while. I bought myself a new outfit or planned a trip for the new year.



Some of this can’t be done because of quarantine. But it’s still important to remember that even if you can’t be with your friends and family, they’re still a part of your life. It’s cliché to say “count your blessings,” but doing so really helps put things in perspective. I took solace on Christmas Day knowing that, while I was alone for 24 hours, I was not alone in life. I have friends and family who love me, even if they weren’t physically present. Not being with them on Christmas Day even deepened my appreciation of the time we did have together.

3. Avoid Christmas as much as you can



If this seems to contradict my full-throated endorsement of the Christmas season, well, you aren’t wrong. I love Christmas all the way up to 11:59 PM on 24 December. Christmas Day, however, is a vastly different story. I do whatever I can to avoid reminding myself that this is anything other than an ordinary day. Social media only drives home your isolation, as your friends and family from afar post pictures of their joyful gatherings. TV and radio will be packed to the brim with Christmas programming, so best avoid them too.



If you really love Christmas, get your fix the day before. Christmas Eve is when I would binge all my favourite Christmas films, listen to my favourite Christmas records, drink eggnog or eat fruitcake or whatever else I wanted to do. Christmas morning, I made a pot of coffee, read a book, watched Sex and the City or one of my other favourite programmes, played Solitaire, drank wine — whatever I wanted, so long as it wasn’t wrapped in tinsel.

4. Look for the things you can enjoy



Christmas alone might be lonely, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. Try to find the things about it that you do like. One of the things I most look forward to on Christmas Day is the silence. If you’ve never noticed it, go for a long walk through your town or neighbourhood. It’s almost completely empty. The world, it seems, comes to a complete standstill. No traffic, little noise, just quiet stillness.



There is something deeply moving and spiritual about this tranquility. I look forward to it every single year. Christmas Day is a great day to meditate, to pray, to reflect on the year that was and is to come.



Maybe you don’t like the silence. That is alright. Find the things you can like about the day and focus on those.

5. Establish new traditions



One bright spot of that first Christmas alone was my friend Kat dropping by after her family celebration. We went to a Chinese buffet. Chinese buffets are often open on Christmas Day, at least in the United States, because going for a Chinese dinner on Christmas Day has become something of a tradition in many Jewish American families. Thus, pigging out on Chinese food became a Christmas tradition for me, and every year I have been alone on Christmas I have gone to the local buffet and gorged myself on pan fried dumplings, egg rolls, and fried rice.



I have some other traditions, too. Years ago, my mother gave me a copy of Casablanca for Christmas, and I have watched it every Christmas Day since. I tend to put on the cast album of Avenue Q and pretend I am playing Princeton. Around this time of year, I usually pick one beloved novel to re-read. (This year is a little different, as I’ll be reading a new book in a series I enjoy.)

6. Treat Yo’self



One thing you may have noticed is that I make a point to make Christmas Day a day where I do things I enjoy. Changing your way of thinking about Christmas is key here. Somewhere around the mid-10s, I began approaching the holiday less as a gathering of friends and family and more as a day of self-indulgence, my very own version of Tom’s and Donna’s “Treat Yo’Self” days from the sitcom Parks and Recreation. Want to order a new robe on Amazon? Treat yo’self. Second bottle of wine? Treat yo’self. At-home mani/pedi? Treat yo’self. New makeup? Colour your hair? You get the point.



It’s important to note that you don’t have to spend money to treat yo’self. Maybe you have wanted to rearrange the furniture. Perhaps you’ve always wondered if you could sled down the stairs of your apartment building (turns out I could not). There could be a recipe you have been dying to try. Treat yo’self.

7. Remember: it’s just a day

It can be hard to have a bit of perspective in the best of times. Very few of us ever want to spend Christmas alone. This probably isn’t your choice, and it sucks. But, 25 December is a single day, just like any other day in the year. It has 24 hours, and like this pandemic, it will not last forever.

Whether you are spending the day alone, or with friends and family (ideally in your own household), I know this Christmas — this year — has been tough on us all. I hope this list has helped spark some ideas on how you can make this holiday a little brighter. As we approach the New Year, just remember there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and in the immortal words of Judy Garland, “someday soon, we all will be together.”



Merry Christmas.

Skylar Baker-Jordan is a freelance writer based in Tennessee. His work has appeared at the Independent, Huff Post UK, Salon, and elsewhere. Follow him on Twitter @skylarjordan and become a sustainer at www.patreon.com/skylarjordan