There’s a fine line between rudeness and bullying
By: Linda Caroll
Tags: Life Lessons, Advice, Bullying, Life, Culture

If you share anything on the internet, they will eventually find you. People who have an opinion but no manners. Opinions are not the problem.

Too often “those” people scare away creatives. Writers, artists, and makers of things. Afraid to share because they don’t want to deal with the ugly comments that are seemingly inevitable.

(Because, if you didn’t want an opinion, you shouldn’t have shared it, right?)

Wrong.

We think of bullying as a kids issue. A “school” problem.

It happens at lunch and recess, away from teacher’s watchful eye. Right? Pushing, shoving, name-calling, ridicule, mockery, insults.

Where do you think they learned it? At home. From parents or siblings that are bullies. From cousins or neighbors that are bullies. Maybe even just watching other bullies get away with it. People “do” what works.

Side note: Maybe a Machiavellian, narcissist psychopath is born a bully. I don’t know. I’m not a psychiatrist. I have, however, spent a few years teaching art. Every time I called a bully’s parents in, I saw where it damn well came from.

There’s a fine line between rudeness and bullying.

The point of bullying is to diminish the “other” and establish dominance. Sometimes that’s physical. More often it’s verbal and emotional.

From an evolutionary perspective, bullying others into submission means you eat first and choose who to have sex with.

Gorillas bully. Are you a gorilla? No? Then you don’t need to bully. If you don’t want to be bullied, then don’t be one, either.

What’s the difference between bullying and rudeness? I don’t know. There’s a real fine line there. Maybe no line. What purpose does it serve to tell someone their work is drivel, or pointless, or foolish — other than your own puffery?

Oh my gosh, look how superior you look, ridiculing someone on the internet.

“Don’t feed the trolls” is bad advice.

Lots of people say that. “Don’t feed the trolls. Ignore them. They’ll go away”

WRONG!

Ignoring is like telling them their behavior is okay. It’s not okay. Not only do you confirm it’s okay to bully, you also confirm that you tolerate bullying.

Way too many shades of NOT OKAY.

And a note to bullies and rude people…

There are lots of people on the internet. New flash. You are not going to agree with all of them. You are not going to like everyone’s work or opinions.

If you are not going to hold them when their Dad dies, if you are not going to help them pay the big unexpected bills they cry over, if you are not waiting with them for the results of the biopsy — then speak politely or not at all.

It costs you nothing to let someone else have their dignity.

It costs you nothing to speak to people with respect and consideration.

Disregard if you like. Your call. But there will be people like me, who will come along and call you a bully over and over again until you back off.

You want to ask me how I learned that? From people like you.

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. — Khalil Gibran

If you’re sick of rude, please click the ❤ to share this. Thanks!