The Director of National Intelligence protects Proud Boys
By: Brian Kean
Tags: Election 2020, Hate, Politics, Trump, Iran

Score another small victory for hate and institutional racism, folks.

The white nationalists — racists by any other name — are too important to the re-election efforts of Donald Trump and so lest these patriots and upstanding members of their forest-based hoods be slandered, the Director of National Intelligence, John Ratcliffe, has arrived to defend their honor.

Formerly a member of Congress from Texas, Gauleiter Ratcliffe was considered by his peers to be one of the most conservative Republicans in Congress whose jerking knee was considered by some to be more deadly than a blow from Bruce Lee used to be.

Voters in Florida, a state desperately needed by Trump if he hopes to cobble together the electoral college total needed for terrorizing Americans for four more years, received threatening emails from “the Proud Boys.” The emails read in so many words, “vote for Trump or else.” Like a cyber jack-up against a virtual wall, right?

A heavy-handed and stupid attempt by whomever sent the email, I highly doubt that the Proud Boys sent it. A record-breaking squirrel-hunt is underway in those deep, dark and scary forests of the far-flung corners of Michigan. It seems highly unlikely the “boys” would have had time to pull themselves away from the 30-packs of Bud Light to compose the grammatically-correct emails.

Enter the Clown in the Funny Car

Obviously in need of a mere smudge of credibility, because alone he would have only been able to gather a few aunts, a deaf uncle and non-English speaking folks promised a free “I am proud to be an American” t-shirt, Ratcliffe appeared next to the FBI director, Christopher A. Ray. Doing his best to quiet down the rapturous laughter inside of his own head, he declared with the full weight his title conveys on him that the nefarious emails were not the work of our boys but rather those dastardly and thickly-bearded Iranians — you know, the ones that Jimmy Carter let take the Embassy many years ago.

When the interference was, and continues to be, of Russian origins for the benefit of Trump, it’s all a hoax; but when it seems a foreign power is cavorting to undermine our Dear Leader’s trustworthiness, then the full weight of the very institutions whose credibility Trump has spent four years destroying, is brought down to create more chaos in the voting process.

Obviously, many, Trump supporters will believe Ratcliffe. We can also expect that F*x Swen (I am committed to no longer calling this fake-news organization by its name so as not to enable the algorithms and search engines) to seed this new narrative of conspiracy, should Trump indeed lose.

Take note, however, no sitting Republicans have yet said that Russia interfered, or is interfering on behalf, of Trump; and yet, we already know that Iran is working diligently to elect Biden — allegedly but absolutely in Trumplandia.

And so, let’s fill in the empty spaces in this “mad-lib” and guess how the Republicans will spin the alleged collusion on behalf of Trump:

The Iranians are going after Trump because of his strongest-ever in American history defense against Iran. His most beautiful policies brought Iran to its knees and so being so bigly fearful of America’s greatest leader ever in the history of anything, they want to install the weak and Gumby-like Biden. Iranians love Democrats. Don’t forget the hostages who were imprisoned for 444 days in Tehran. Trump gives our enemies sleep-less nights.

The nightmare continues, friends. Something is in sight, let’s all pray it is an end.