My Favorite House Hacks
By: Julia E Hubbel
Tags: Home, Humor, Life, House, Aging

Photo by Nathan Fertig on Unsplash

This really works, at least for me

After moving into a brand new house -- for me that is -- in a brand new city in a brand new state, after unpacking almost everything, I’ve finally had time to figure out what works. I’ve had tons of fun establishing a few small hacks that make living in a bigger home in a colder place and with more challenges a bit easier. Look, I’m 68, and I want to spend as much time living as opposed to cleaning, and when I nap, I want to love my nest. You learn to prioritize at this age.

In the interest of discussing what works, as opposed to what doesn’t, and there’s plenty of that, then here ya go:

I’M COLD.

My house has a 17-foot ceiling. I installed a huge fan last September, which helps circulate the warm air that rises from the fireplace. That helps keep the heating bill down, but this hack is even more fun.

On my new couch, I folded a heavy weighted blanket. First, cuz I’m sloppy and I spill shit. Second, because it’s just ridiculously comfortable for napping.

But here’s the kicker: I slipped a long, thin heating pad under the weighted blanket. When I want to watch a show or nap in the 68-degree temp where I keep the house, I warm the blanket. That makes the couch into a nest. I hide the cords and controls under the pillows so nobody’s the wiser.

If you, like an old friend of mine, bought a car JUST because of the heated seats, this hack is for you.

Just remember to turn ’em off. Even better, buy the heating pads that turn off automatically, which is perfect for lugnuts like me.

Photo by Sidekix Media on Unsplash

I HATE CLEANING BATHTUBS.

I only shower when I wash my hair. Okay, okay, I stink. No, really, I do bathe, but that’s the point. I soak, because I have so many cranky injuries from my sports that it’s the only way I can get going. So after a long soak, I wipe the bathtub out immediately with a hand towel.

Here’s the kicker, and why I never ever have to scrub my tub. As soon as I use a wet wipe to clean my skin, I use the same wet wipe on the tub. Takes seconds, and it removes all the dirt, soap scum and the water line. Every time.

I am NOT Suzy Homemaker. While I love my house, I really like anything that reduces the cleaning times.

Besides, this: when I came back after five weeks in Africa last March two days before lockdown, NOBODY had toilet paper. I have more face wipes than Kim Kardashian. At least I don’t have her (fake) ass.

I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH MOLD.

One of the bigger challenges of living in Oregon is household mold. To that end, I bought a tiny, desk-sized Vornado fan and keep it under the counter. As soon as I fill the tub I turn on the Vornado, which is nearly silent. The moving air gets the moisture out of the bathroom. Yes, I have a bathroom fan, but if you have the water on full hot like I do for forty minutes, it’s like a Turkish sauna in there but without the horny, hairy old men.

Because I wipe down the tub, the evaporating water is largely gone. I’ve used a fan to dry clothing while backpacking for many years. It works perfectly to dry out the bathroom, which would otherwise be heavily dewed by a long soak.

To that, those days I do shower, I have a squeegee hung in the stall. The second I’m done I remove the standing water, then I take a hand towel and clean off the rest. On warmer days I also open the window. Since I love my showers scalding, the mist is considerable, so wiping down the surfaces protects then from forming mold.

And, using a hand towel to dry off the standing water on the caulk at the base of the shower has done wonders to prevent discoloration and mold on the caulk.

Next, I fully intend to find myself a handsome naked dancing man whose primary (not only, I’m not stupid and I am horny) job will to be squeegee the shower.

And occasionally, me. I can dream.

Photo by Anastasiya Romanova on Unsplash

CRICKETS

No, I’m not talking about Your Friends at Medium. This is the sound of crickets. I love nature; it’s soothing. And given how stressful this year has been, especially the last few days….NAH, we’ll leave the Government alone.

Here’s the piece. As someone who dearly loves to travel and camp in wild places, the combination of Covid and multiple injuries has kept me close to home or outright house-bound since March. After moving in here, I bought a few more sound machines. They are all set on “summer night,” which is code for crickets. Workmen love it, the animals love it, and it soothes me all day.

And boy does that help me sleep at night.

Now if I could just figure out a hack for my elliptical. Working on it.