Japan Cured My Depression
By: Abdullah Ashari
Tags: Minimalism, Japan, Simple Living, Depression, Spirituality

Source: Endemicworld

People asked why I love Japan so much but I can’t find the words to describe it as it can only be felt by the heart and soul. The more I learn about it’s history, culture and philosophy, the more I learn about myself and life itself.

I have had depression since young but it got worse after several heartbreaking experiences such as losing my loved ones and it completely shattered me in 2018 when I got retrenched from a job, triggering panic and anxiety attacks.

Despite having difficulty sleeping due to insomnia and negative thoughts filling up my head, questioning my self worth and doubting myself, I kept it all to myself as I did not want to be treated differently and pretend that everything is okay.

It changed when I went to Japan for the first time in early 2019. It was then that I felt myself at peace for the first time in my life. There’s something spiritual about the place. The fresh air, the calm ambiance of the temples, the scenic places.

When I returned home, I missed the place and it’s serenity so much that I started reading up more about Japan. I’ve tried reading self-help or self-improvement books before but none help, until I read about the Japanese philosophies.

I grew more and more connected to my spiritual side. I started waking up early everyday. On my work days, I woke up early to enjoy some moment of silence with my coffee before heading out to work without feeling rushed.

I did a makeover of my room, discarding all unwanted items, replacing my plastic blind with a wooden one to give it a warm Zen feeling, adding a flower on my table and hiding necessity items that doesn’t spark joy into the cupboard and putting those that spark joy out where I could see them every time.

On my off days, I took a stroll or jog along the park trail leading to the coast to watch the sunrise and take a moment to savor the tiny moments that I would have missed throughout my whole life, rushing here and there all the time.

I found there are so many things I draw upon now to help me find clarity, regroup, and persevere through challenges, overcoming my inner demons and they are all firmly rooted in Japan and its rich culture.

They helped me through my hardships, barriers and trials of everyday life. The essence of these philosophies renewed my love and appreciation for them, perhaps now more than ever, relying on them everyday without realizing.

They taught me to slow down when the world told me to be fast, taught me to appreciate the things I already have when the world told me they’re not enough, taught me to accept that life is imperfect when the world told me it has to be.

We’re under constant pressure to achieve perfection in all that we do, to have a dream body, to have a dream job, to have a dream house, to have a dream girlfriend, to have a dream lifestyle before we can be happy.

I learn to find beauty within the messy chaos and cherish my scars. It’s about accepting that nothing lasts, both the good and bad. And rather than chasing the unattainable goal of perfection, it’s about finding fulfillment and serenity.

It’s about being able to take whatever life throws at you with grace and calmness, being able to say, “Life is not perfect but that is okay.” Rather than denying and getting angry about it that life did not go the way you want it to.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

- Buddha

I learn to focus on the good things in life that makes me happy, rather than to focus on the bad ones that makes me depressed. So I started taking my happy pills, like reading more about Japan and running this tumblr page.

Life happens and there is no point stressing out over things that you cannot control and focus on the things that you can. You either change it or accept it. Most importantly, you have to let go of your idea of a “perfect” life.

I realized that I cannot put my self-worth on things, like I did it before. I used to think that material wealth is an expression of self hood and proof of my existence. I associate my identity and self-image with the things I possess.

The more I had, the more secured, accomplished and fulfilled I felt. Everything became objectified, friends, lovers, diplomas, awards, money, job titles, etc that the moment I lost them all, I felt empty and worthless.

Many things are superfluous but we only realize this when they are gone. It’s only when you are strip away of everything but yourself that you start asking who you really are beneath it all and what kind of person you want to be.

Comparison is the thief of joy, especially in the age of social media. I used to ask myself why my peers have better jobs than me, I used to ask why my peers have better luck in love than me, is there something wrong with me?

Now I have accepted that I should be thankful that I even have a job. As for love, I guess it’s not fated yet for me to get one. Now that I think about it, I was not in the right state of mind so I will focus on searching myself first and restart again.