My Husband Agreed to Give Up Pot for Sexual Favors
By: Bradlee Bryant
Tags: This Happened To Me, Sexuality, Love, Cannabis, Relationships

A few months ago my husband was struggling to give up his marijuana habit. He knew his constant use was hurting him in more ways than one, but he struggled to relax or get any sleep without it.

Thinking outside of the box, I offered him a deal I knew he couldn’t refuse: if he could kick his marijuana habit, I would give him a nice relaxing blowjob every night for the next three months.

He enthusiastically agreed and has been 420 free for 38 days. I’m happy with the trade-off, even though my jaw is a bit more sore than usual.

When I told one of my closest friends about our dirty little quid-pro-quo, she seemed a little shocked. According to her, our silly blowjob agreement was dangerous and could be considered a slippery slope towards manipulation.

This wasn’t my first rodeo

While I appreciated my friend’s feedback, I disagreed. I wasn’t withholding sex or using it as a punishment. We were mutually agreeing to replace a bad habit with a more positive one and using something we both enjoyed as a way to barter.

We’ve made plenty of compromises using sexual favors as a bargaining chip in our 15+ years together.

Way back when our relationship was closer to the vanilla end of the kink spectrum, I used to dangle the doggy-style carrot as a reward for a back rub. We were both rewarded for our willingness to compromise and the outcome was always more than satisfactory for us both.

My husband offers up his services in the massage department to get in my pants all the damn time. He knows that once my body is lubed up with massage oil I’m a sure thing.

When our kids were babies I used to bribe him with various sexual favors to avoid getting up in the middle of the night to change diapers. I love my sleep and he’s a night owl. I love giving him blow jobs and he loves receiving them.

For us, it was always a win-win.

I use my powers for good, not evil

Any deal we make is always consensual, as neither of us would agree to anything unless we were both comfortable with the arrangement.

No matter what the deal is, it has to be beneficial to both of us and never something one of us agrees to in order to satisfy the other party’s whining or complaining.

We don’t play those childish guilt-trip games.

It can also never be the other way around. Meaning, you can’t withhold sex, or a sex act, just because you don’t get your way.

For example, if my husband were to go smoke a joint, I wouldn’t be justified in saying, “well, no blowjobs for 3 months now…” That would be unhealthy and extra manipulative. Plus, that would be like kicking my partner when he was down — what kind of jerk does that?

Would my husband ever remind me that I owed him a blowjob? Hell no. Would he demand I pay up even when I’m not feeling it? Absolutely not.

Even the silliest of sex bargains still require enthusiastic consent.

A few more tips on sexual bartering

The sex you’re trading and bartering for can only be a percentage of the overall sex you’re having, otherwise, your entire sex life becomes easily manipulated.

There has to be a healthy sexual foundation first, then the sexual bartering is just a playful and seductive addition.

These sexual favor agreements won’t work for every couple, but they've always worked for us. As long as things are mutually agreed upon and enthusiastically consensual, trading sexual favors can be a great way for you and your partner to get exactly what you want — and have some fun in the process.

There’s nothing wrong with the occasional tit for tat.