The Heel of the Woman
By: Felicity Dark
Tags: Catholic, Abortion, Equality, Motherhood, Feminism

“I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; She will crush your head, while you strike at her heel.”-Genesis 3:15

When you look back on the book of Genesis and reflect on the way the giant, horrible serpent snuck behind Adam’s back in order to destroy the dignity of mankind, what stands out to you? Have you ever reflected on why this massive, terrifying snake was such a coward? Why didn’t he confront Adam first and directly with his so-called wisdom? Why did he go after the little women, Eve, alone?

I believe that the answer is this; God protects and guides the authority of men over women when they are brave enough to take it, and I think Adam would have faced this demon with a lot more courage if his wife had respected his authority. I think Eve would have respected Adam’s authority if the serpent had addressed them both at the same time. I imagine that Adam would have spoken up against the serpent in favor of the power and love of the Almighty God, long before she had the chance to consider taking that fatal bite, and she would have followed his lead. Instead she emasculated her husband and picked a dangerous fight for him, all at once. Satan knows how the order of nature works, and so slithered his way in between them.

Fortunately, there was one woman so pure, and with such a massive respect for God’s authority as the Author of Life, that she caught His eye like no other in all the vastness of time and space. She would be the mother of all the children of God because even standing alone, she would give her “fiat” so that the Word might become Flesh. There in her poverty and helplessness, she was given the choice to either give birth to a Child whose destiny and mission was to suffer in order to give testimony to the truth, or to say no and turn her back on the restoration of the dignity of mankind.

Yesterday in Colorado, an extremely reasonable proposal to end late-term abortion, in which a 22-week-old-baby has its head stabbed, its brain sucked out and its body chopped to pieces and pulled out from what should be the safest place in the universe for such a creature- this proposition was shot down. What is the most understandable reason a woman can give for supporting a woman’s right to murder a fully developed baby human in this grizzly way? Suffering. The child who is destined to suffer is fair to murder in the eyes of our modern Eve. And why is she Eve? I call her Eve because she has decided that this authority to take or give life is her right. She gives man no authority and no say, or does so only as an afterthought, once the man is already emasculated and weakened, standing before this horror while beside his already compromised woman, and thus, again, Satan finds the way to slither through and destroy.

I was born in this time, I believe, to be the heel that will crush the head of this filthy snake. I have the audacity to make that claim because I am a nothing and a nobody. I have not one single worldly title of esteem, unless you are one of the few people who still regards motherhood with any respect. I am a mother, indeed. I am the mother of five precious children, and I bore these children in the midst of an abusive “marriage” in which their father forced me into isolation, depression, and blind obedience through gaslighting, physical abuse and humiliation, and a great deal of fear. If anyone has been hidden and trodden upon as a heel, I am one. I believe there are many more hidden, brave women out there, fighting hard to defend the dignity and authority of motherhood through the action of choosing to be open to life; Women who look to the Virgin Mother of God as their role-model, and not to Eve.

The authority of motherhood is what feminists hate above all things. I used to look to the feminists for answers, when I wanted to escape from the abuse and when I caught my ex-husband cheating. The feminists claim that they believe women should have the “right to choose”, but in reality, if a woman chooses life for her child in spite of the possible suffering at hand, she is ridiculed, scoffed at and treated with spiteful contempt. It was frequently implied that my children should have been aborted- that my kids should be dead. Nothing could have given me more anxiety and it made me view my abusive man as my only ally!

I often felt like a lone, cornered lioness being attacked by cackling hyenas. How dare I believe that my motherhood was something of value? Who was I to want my own babies when they would cause me so much trouble on top of a horrible marriage? How foolish I was, to think that there was something noble in respecting fatherhood even though the father of my children had no respect for me!

Their advice was to stop this determined desire I had to breastfeed. They told me to put my little ones in daycare, get a job, pursue an education, and find my independence through financial gain. They seemed oblivious to the fact that babies have astonishing brain development taking place in the first three years of life, and that a mother’s presence and caretaking is vastly superior to any other available option. There was no encouragement whatsoever in favor of me staying with my little ones. I was mocked for saying that it mattered to me.

Twelve years later, I find myself understanding that what they wanted me to do was create order by embracing a masculine role and stifling my feminine nature. I am so grateful that I refused that shameful advice. I found my strength by embracing my feminine nature with full force, and respecting the masculine nature of the father of my children in spite of his many faults. I forgave him, and I forgive him today, and that is why I am free of him physically, mentally and emotionally only a year after our official divorce.

The father of my children had many faults and bad habits when I met him, but I was under the feminist illusion that if I married him and bullied him, he would eventually change. He was too strong for that, thank God. However, he made the vows of marriage with uncertainty and out of some strange pity for me and a sense of obligation. He was not ready for a wife- not even close. I regret that I played any part; that I pulled him into it, and I understand exactly why it turned him into the monster he became. I hope he regrets it, and I hope he will learn from it and heal, but it is not my business and not my problem whether he does or does not.

What is my business is this: can I stay home with my babies until they are old enough to go to school, even through divorce? I’d like to be able to stay home even longer than that and continue to focus on my children. I’m no longer able to call myself a “housewife”, as I rebelliously used to do. I am still a mother, however, and should I not have the choice to make motherhood my priority?

Due to my determination to cling to my feminine nature, and because I made the effort to respect the authority of the father of my children and to demand that he step up and provide, I stay home with my fifth child who is three years old, to this day. He still prides himself in his ability to provide for me, and just recently we have had some major breakthroughs in co-parenting that I would have never believed possible with a “toxic, narcissistic ex”. It seems that since I have cut off every other tie he has to me so indisputably, he is grateful to at least share parenthood with me. He has been extremely cooperative ever since I got a permanent restraining order.

I am thriving, growing, relishing every single day. My healing has happened at an astonishing rate, and somehow due to the fact that I suffered so much trauma and yet have also healed, my creativity is flourishing, almost as if I were quite young.

Feminism will not heal your pain. Feminism will not make men respect women. It will never create equality, but it will create massive chaos as so many women ignore their small children’s needs in the pursuit of creating order as if they were men. Embrace the chaos of your feminine life. Let that baby be your clock and guide. Hide and pray and wait, and keep all of this “in your heart,” as did the Mother, Mary. Look to her for your guide, lest you fail your people like the first feminist, Eve, failed us all. The world will see plenty of you when the time is right. Lay up your treasures in heaven by being the mother you were created to be, relentlessly and without any compromise. This is the way you will find yourself. The Virgin Mary gives you her Word.