Traumatized by Trivia: How a Seemingly Innocent Game Triggered the Pain of Racism and Exclusion
By: Jeanette C. Espinoza
Tags: Women, Workplace, Black Women, Trauma, Trivia

My department at work has weekly meetings to help us stay in touch with each other while we work from home and to discuss updates in our organization. We usually do something fun to close out each gathering and during our last meeting, we all agreed to play a game of trivia. I was legitimately excited. I just knew I was going to win (and win BIG!) so the hyper and competitive Jeanette came out and was ready to play.

I eagerly waited for the business side of our discussion to end so game time could begin. As the facilitator explained the rules, I looked at my co-workers in their little Zoom boxes and thought, “Haha…I don’t even know why you CAME to work today. You didn’t know that you would be forced to drink an entire can of whoop-ass, did you? You betta BRING IT!”

Let the Games Begin

The first question was about Taylor Swift and I involuntarily rolled my eyes along with some of my other co-workers who are both Black and White people (sorry Swifties). Most of us are of a certain age and not at all into Taylor Swift, but a few of my White co-workers did chime in and answer. I didn’t think much about it and just waited for the next question.

The second question was about tea-time etiquette in London. Not as many eye- rolls from my White co-workers this time, but quite a few from my fellow Black sisters-in-work. How many of us are privy to what happens when the British settle in for a cup of tea? It’s not anything I’ve ever discussed with my family and friends and clearly, this also rang true for my Black co-workers.

We’re just getting started, I thought. Surely the other questions will be more all-inclusive.

The next questions were about skiing techniques, song lyrics from famous country musicians, the Gilmore Girls, Friends, Queen Elizabeth, and her royal family, Gigi Hadi, George Clooney, hockey games, The Bachelor, and the debut of the holiday song, “White Christmas.”

Apparently, my thoughts about this activity were misguided to say the least.

Without Representation, Interest is Hard to Maintain

To clarify, I’m not suggesting that Black women couldn’t be knowledgeable about these topics. But using myself as an example (and I even grew up in a predominantly White suburb), I’ve never spoken at length about any of those trivia subjects. And the looks of bewilderment that turned to complete disgust on my Black co-worker’s faces solidified my thoughts that this game was definitely geared toward a certain dynamic in our department: White women.

To be fair, there was actually one question that referenced a Black person:

What three words are printed on Martin Luther King, Jr’s tombstone?

There were no fun facts about Black artists, actors, athletes, or prominent contributors to society. Our one chance to answer a question was about a man that White people claimed to admire after his death, but in truth despised and criticized him for his persistent fight against racism while he was amongst the living.

I foolishly waited in vain for at least one of my White co-workers to notice how quiet all the Black people were, the vacant stares, and the growing disinterest in our “team” activity but it never came. If they noticed, it wasn’t important enough to mention and ruin the fun for the other half of the group.

The Bigger Picture

While it may seem petty to take issue with something as mundane as a workplace trivia game, there was a much bigger dynamic bubbling beneath the surface. The questions were geared towards everyday conversational topics shared by White women and there was no effort to include anything remotely familiar to Black women besides a reference to MLK’s gravesite. It was further confirmation that Black women are expected to exist within the walls of the White woman’s world with no regard for our own experiences. And that world has zero desire to learn, discuss, or talk about anything dealing with the Black woman’s journey.

We live in this society suffocated by all things relating to White women. We see their hair products at every store in abundance while ours are limited to a few shelves. We see their skincare and tanning products displayed upfront in department stores while we often have to travel to obscure parts of town just find creams and cleansers that react favorably to our melanated skin. We are bombarded with commercials that cater to the White woman’s lifestyle from what she eats and feeds her family, to how she washes her clothes, to how she parents her children, what shampoos work best for her hair, what vacation spots are best for her to experience, how she should plan her wedding, etc., etc., etc., and etc. some more. There is no shortage of information about what a White woman wants, likes, and needs in this country, but Black women are hard-pressed to find representation of themselves on a large scale. And apparently, even simple trivia games aren’t exempt from participating in our exclusion.

Experiencing the negative feelings that manifested as a result of my participation in our team activity once again reminded me of how White women, whether consciously or not, are particularly inwardly focused. Looking back at my interactions with White women over the years, it was always assumed that I should automatically understand their chosen topics of discussion and feelings about the world as if their point of view was the only one of any importance. Rarely was that sentiment ever reciprocated. I can’t count how many times I’ve spoken with White women about a subject that is commonplace in their communities that I’m immediately expected to know and be prepared to provide input. But if the shoe were on the other foot, how many of them could rattle off facts and independent opinions on matters that are important to me and my people? How many could discuss even the most trivial thoughts shared by the Black community?

For instance, let’s say I facilitated the trivia game and I asked the following five questions:

Which character on A Different World had a huge crush on Denise?

Who was Sinclair’s boyfriend on Living Single? Bonus point: What was his job?

Why did Issa and Lawrence break up on Insecure?

What was the name of the book that caused all the drama in the movie The Best Man?

Who died in the movie Best Man Holiday?

Each of these questions references very popular television shows and movies, however, each one also has all Black casts. Most Black women could answer these questions with their eyes and ears half-closed, but how many average White women would immediately know these answers? This isn’t a trick, it’s just a simple example of how it would feel for a White woman to be confronted with topics she typically would not discuss with her friends or family.

She might feel a little bit disadvantaged, especially in a game where people are playing for points to win. She might even suggest that the game was (dare I say it) biased in favor of the Black women playing. This would undoubtedly lead her to declare there was no way she would be able to effectively compete when clearly the Black women had the upper hand.

Transfer these feelings from a simple trivia game to real life on a 24/7/365 basis and welcome the world of the Black woman in America.

The End Result: Exclusion is the Name of the Game

We know full well this playing field in this country was not set up to allow any advantages for Black women, which is why we always have to work twice as hard and twice as long as our White counterparts. The trivia game was something that thankfully ended but when real life resumed, it didn’t grant a reprieve from the uneven hand we were dealt simply for being born as Black women.

When we wake up each day, there is no expectation that things will always fall neatly into place, that people will break their necks to help us, or that our workplaces will be all-inclusive safe environments. Subconsciously, we are ready for battle from the time we step out the door (or in recent days, from the time we log onto our laptops) until our day ends and we resume our personal lives.

I’ve often been amazed while watching White women who simply expect things to go their way in any situation. And if for some reason things went left, my amazement would continue as I watched them demand for something to be done immediately to keep them satisfied. These observations have left my chin scraping the ground on more than just a few occasions.

This is the world that White women have been raised to believe in. No matter their level of education or economic status, America caters to their needs and shuts down if the process of uplifting and protecting White women falls short. The only prerequisite to receiving these benefits is Whiteness, which creates quite a few hurdles for Black women in this society.