An Open Letter to Joe Biden: How to Reunite Those 545 Lost Children With Their Migrant Parents
By: John Emmerling
Tags: Immigration, Humanity, Compassion, Advertising, Biden

Remember that dramatic scene in “Sophie’s Choice”? Upon arriving at the Auschwitz train platform, Sophie (played by Meryl Streep) faces a horrifying choice. Nazi officer: “Decide which of your two children you want to keep.” Her eyes go wild with distress. She can’t — won’t — decide between her son and little girl. But when the guards grab both children she bursts out, “Take my baby! Take my little girl!” The camera dwells on Streep’s anguished face. Her terrified eyes follow as a guard throws her tiny sobbing daughter on his shoulder and skulks off into the darkness. Powerful stuff, right? Well, America restaged that Oscar-winning scene at least 545 times. Only, instead of sending the kids to gas chambers, we sent them off to foster care — without records. Then we deported the parents back to their countries of origin and lost track of them. (DIGRESSION: Even the Auschwitz inmates got serial numbers tattooed on their arms. The Nazis kept better records than the Trumpzies.)

So, President-elect Biden, here’s your first marketing problem. A) Thousands of asylum-seeking migrants were deported back to Mexico or Central America. B) 545 of their kids were taken and scattered around the United States. No records exist.

How can you reunite them?

Answer: Two ad campaigns.

#1) Launch a targeted TV, radio, and social media campaign in Mexico and Central America.

MESSAGE: If America took your child from you, come to any U.S. consulate and get a FREE swab for DNA. If we can match your DNA to your missing child’s DNA, we will reunite your family — and give you $50,000. We’ll also offer your family U.S. residency and a path to citizenship.

#2) At the same time launch a U.S. multimedia campaign. Public service TV and radio spots. Paid spots on Hispanic radio. Social media posts. Bus and subway posters. Flyers for church and community center bulletin boards.

MESSAGE: Are you caring for a migrant child—with unknown parents? If you bring the child into any Walgreen’s or CVS for a free DNA swab, you could qualify for a $50,000 reward. If the child’s DNA matches the parents’ DNA you will receive the reward. And — if needed — we’ll give you a path to citizenship.

These campaigns should generate thousands of swabs. The DNA-testing companies, such as 23andMe, will likely volunteer to process the swabs (priceless publicity!). The DNA matches will happen fast.

Think of it! Family reunifications could begin before you start your third month in office. Happy reunion vignettes will dominate the evening news shows.

And what will all of this cost? There’s no need for expensive Anglo-TV advertising on network and cable. These messages are exciting news — the DNA/reward/citizenship program will be talked about. Hispanic celebrities will spread the word; gossip in hair salons will fan the flames.

—Total media spend (U.S and Mexico/Central America) = $25 million

—Rewards paid to 545 parents (@ $50k)= $27.3 million

—Rewards to U.S. caretakers (for 545 kids swabbed at CVS) = $27.3 million.

—Toss in some extra dough for production of materials and administrative costs and the whole package will be $100 million. To put the number in perspective, consider that Forbes estimated Donald Trump’s golf outings have cost taxpayers $345 million.

In other words, my $100M plan is Beltway chump change. Congress will authorize a modest POTUS slush fund and you can issue an executive order.