The Struggle of Being a Woman
By: Julia Beaudett
Tags: Women, Money, Humor, Beauty, Life

The concept of beauty standards has finally been blurred in our modern lives. There is no longer a standard that defines a certain type of body, hair color, makeup or fashion choices and a woman can finally choose who she wants to be without being pressured by the expectations of her culture.

You can see plus-size women looking just as gorgeous as their fellow skinny models in a famous underwear show as well as a stunning girl without any makeup embracing her flaws while promoting natural beauty.

Women are different. But whether we like to grow our body hair or remove it completely, or whether we prefer to do our full makeup before leaving home because it makes us feel confident and sexy, or wear no makeup at all because we want to showcase our natural self,no matter what kind of woman we chose and are comfortable to be, the bottom line is — it sure does cost a lot of money to be a woman.

Like any other woman, my mood is unpredictable. I can feel sexy and beautiful with messy hair and no makeup walking to the local coffee shop with my boyfriend in his oversized hoodie just as often as when I wear my best makeup and outfit to go out on a date night.

I can feel beautiful and attractive in any state and appearance as long as I feel confident about myself.

It’s not a secret that confidence comes from the inside. It is a complex feeling and most of the time depends on many factors — from being with the person who loves you and makes you feel more beautiful than you ever felt, to being happy about yourself at work and at home.

But sometimes, even when I’m in love with someone who brings out the best in me and makes my eyes brighter, I need an extra boost in my confidence. Maybe my period is getting closer, or I’m not so secure about my life at that moment, or maybe I simply don’t feel that good about myself. The fact is, sometimes (often) I find myself lacking confidence and immediately need to change something about myself. In response to this feeling, I typically buy new lingerie, put on some makeup, or go to a nail salon.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about what my life would be like if I constantly treated myself this way, making those beauty practices an essential part of my feminine life. So, I’ve decided to calculate how much extra money I or any other woman would have to spend every month in order to look our best on a day-to-day basis.

It turns out, it would cost a lot, and I’d be better off getting in touch with my inner beauty sooner:

$30 for your well-groomed nails you’ll be biting in two days

I rarely do my nails professionally. Not because I like the natural look of my nails, but because I don’t really care about them. I bite them and I rip off the hangnails when I’m nervous (read — always).

Most of the time I’m too ashamed to go to a nail salon knowing that a person who works there won’t be able to do anything but lecture me. At the same time, I always adored women with beautiful and fresh manicures. Their nails are always shiny, with appropriate length and color. It’s such a simple detail I always neglect that makes me want to start growing my nails back and take care of my hands until I forget about it the next day and rip the fuck out of my hangnails while watching a new Joker movie.

And don’t forget $40 for your pedi even though no one would see it.

Because, as 5 gay men on Netflix taught me — you deserve it, queen.

$45 for your glorious armpits and fresh bikini

I like to shave, not because of how it looks but because I feel more comfortable with a shaved, smooth body. I feel very itchy and most of the time, more sweaty as soon as my hair grows back.

I shave every other day, which I’m perfectly fine with since I like taking long baths almost every night, but being able to go to a specialist every 30 days to remove my hair for a whole month would sure save me a lot of time and provide much smoother results.

However, it’s too painful. And even though your body gets used to it the more you do it, if I want to experience unbearable pain, I’d rather get another tattoo or text my ex-boyfriend.

$50 for your Kardashian I-woke-up-like-this-lashes

I have very long and fluffy eyelashes. Mostly because of genetics, but part of it is the fact that I never wore mascara while my friends in school were experimenting with their bright and cheap makeup as most girls do in their teens these days. Still, I’m obsessed with eyelash extensions. And not the most natural kind.

For two years of my life, I saw my lash lady more often than my friends, updating a new set of 3D-volume-with-foxy-eye-and-wing-effect every month on a schedule. I love to wake up not even feeling guilty for being too lazy to do my makeup because I simply don’t need it with lashes like that.

One time, an officer on the American border couldn’t let me go without complimenting my extensions for 10 minutes before letting me in. I used to consider my lashes as something very essential and therefore, I was willing to use emergency money for my extension appointments. But it’s been over 6 months since I’ve gone there and lately, I always find more important things to spend money on. In fact, I got used to my natural lashes and don’t even care about going for extensions again. Or maybe I just gave up on my life.

$20 for I-swear-I-have-eyebrows

I don’t know about you, but I always had weird eyebrows. They’re thick and brown though they weirdly disappear near the base. It makes me look 10 years younger, and since I’m 21 I’m not always happy to look 11. Thus, I went through all the stages of learning how to fill my eyebrows from less successful (and equal) to more appropriate attempts. Luckily, there are places that are ready to turn any eyebrows into perfection and somehow magically keep it this way for a whole month. Eyebrow botox, lamination, henna — you name it as long as you’re ready to sacrifice $240 alimony per year to your eyebrows.

$300 for your post-breakup sugar coma

It’s almost summer and I realize that I’ve been leaving chocolate wraps all over my sheets at night, and my body has seen more sweets than water ever since my breakup. I am now a proud owner of a double chin and 5 extra kilograms beyond my comfortable weight. I convinced myself that it is time to buy a gym membership even though I usually use it one time, get scared of all the massive equipment and jocks and don’t return there until the next time I find myself sporting extra weight. I’ve always been more comfortable with home and outdoor workouts but since this is an emergency, I have to go for it.

$100–$2000 for your inner makeup artist

Most of the time, I don’t wear makeup unless I’m going to an important event, photoshoot or a date. Don’t judge me — I’m not trying to impress the guys, but being 5'2” with no makeup, I barely pass for a high school student. And even though I’m all up for student-teacher role-playing, I don’t want my new date to think he can actually go to jail.

I can’t say I’m very comfortable with my natural self and prefer myself without makeup most days, but I’m extremely lazy and would rather spend an extra hour watching one more episode of a show or playing with my cat instead of spending it in front of a mirror.

At the same time, I love experimenting with makeup. I’m passionate about beauty products and new makeup and have more points in Sephora than in my local grocery store. There’s a good chance I already have all of the expensive makeup that’s coming out any given month.

Makeup can be quite pricey. I wonder how much money I’d save on it if I was a man and never had to buy it.

And don’t let me start on skincare.

$140/month to make everyone believe blond is your natural color

I am one of the few people who never colored their hair. Even though experimenting with hair color is one of the most popular things in high school and college, I always loved my natural color and never felt the need to change it.

Nevertheless, most of my friends chose to change their natural color. As always, blondes go brunette, brunettes go blonde, and the less blonde go even blonder.

It turns out, it’s not as expensive to pay for your coloring, as it is to pay for your monthly appointment to maintain your color and touch up your roots.

In addition to it, here’s $100 worth of shampoo and hair care products to prolong your blonde and not make it go yellow after two showers.

And last, but not least,

$200 for emergency Amazon shopping while on PMS

Because you feel sad and those pillows look really good with that queen comforter.

Of course, not every woman needs or does all the things from this list. Some women don’t wear makeup, some have great skin they don’t need to take care of, and some just don’t spend all their money on useless stuff out of PMS-induced despair. All women are different and require their own things in order to feel more confident, prettier, or to occasionally cheer themselves up. But the fact remains, it’s really expensive (and time-consuming) to always look your best like most influencers and TV stars convince us to do.

But even though I sometimes feel jealous about men who only need a bar of soap, deodorant, and two pairs of underwear to look good, it’s still fun to be a woman. Because when we’re bored, or have some extra money, there’s a whole variety of things we can do to treat ourselves and feel better.