How a simple task — the Gratitude Journal turned my life around
By: Judy Musgrove
Tags: Self Improvement, Health, Mental Health, Inspiration, Suicide

In my personal life, I had filed bankruptcy. We were going through a recession. Tech companies totally shut down. Since I worked for HP, I knew they would lay me off. Having the tech companies shut down affected everyone. My husband also lost his job. We were both on unemployment. We depleted our savings. If we were to make it, we had to go where the jobs were. Since I am a California girl, I knew that I had to go back to California.

With my mom in ICU, my personal life in turmoil, I knew I had to clear my head. With my step dad having Alzheimer’s, he wasn’t in any condition to make sound decisions; I was the power of attorney for my mom, so the decision making fell on my shoulders.

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

Moving back to California had to take a back seat. My mom had clarified in her do not resuscitate paperwork that she did not want to be on life support. She took a turn for the worse. Now I had to deal with the doctors on when to pull the plug. Talk about stress. Not only did I have to explain to my step dad what was happening; I had to deal with the doctors and family members on both sides of the family.

I am here to say that she pulled through. While she was in rehab for continued care, I was looking for an Assisted Living establishment that would take her in. Explaining to my step dad why she wasn’t going home after they released her was very hard. I wasn’t sure how much he could take in.

Not only was I working to get my mom settled and cared for, I had to figure out if I should stay in Oregon or move back to California.

The decision to move to California wasn’t easy, but I knew I needed to go where the jobs were. I knew I had to find work, I also knew I had to get away from all the turmoil, find myself again and make informed decisions on what would be the best way to make a monumental move.

I came down to California and stayed with a cousin. Being away from everyone was the right call to make. I had time to think things through and figure out what I wanted to do. I started listening to Oprah Winfrey. She was starting a new workshop to help us change our way of thinking. I was to purchase a journal and write 5 things each morning and evening that I was grateful for.

How was I to write 5 things I am grateful for when I wasn’t grateful? Actually, this scared me. I am an optimistic person. I see the good; I am creative in working through issues. I knew I needed to change my life around. For the life of me, I did not see how writing 5 things I am grateful for would change my life.

The first three weeks morning and night I wrote, “I am grateful for the sun shining” 5 times in the morning and five times in the evening. Three weeks! Man, was I in a dangerous place mentally.

Photo by dominik reallife on Unsplash

Guess what happened the fourth week. Yep, I started expanding what I was grateful for. The next thing I was grateful for “the birds are singing.” It may not sound like much, but think of it this way. In that last 3 weeks, I had never heard the birds singing.

I honestly thought that if one more thing happens I was going to run from the room screaming at the top of my lungs! The thought of a nervous breakdown literally scared me.

I hung in there. Gradually, I could identify 5 different things I was grateful for each morning and evening. What a game changer. By this time, I was walking my dog in the mornings. I woke up on a positive note, and I went to bed thinking positive thoughts.

Yes, I got a job in the tech industry. We moved! I rented a townhouse in Rancho Murieta and never looked back. My husband was here in California 3 days only and got a job! He couldn’t believe it. The tide was turning.

That simple task of writing 5 things I was grateful for in my gratitude journal, turned the tide for me. It wasn’t easy; how can something that sounds so simple make such an impact?

Oprah was my lifesaver. The gratitude journal was my entry into writing. Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations was just the beginning.