Casual Sex
By: Dr Bola Akintoye
Tags: Youths Inspiring Youths, Singles, Teens, Casual Sex

image from mindbodygreen

Today’s teens and youths face a culture that is highly obsessed with sexual attractiveness, movies, online sex channels, musical videos, romance novels,

magazines, clubs and styles of clothing aiming at arousing viewers sexually.

The feelings of “I belong”, peer pressure, poverty, and a higher level of autonomy increases the opportunity for risky behaviour, lack of spirituality that discourages obedience to the scripture and most importantly, lust that precedes the sin of adultery and fornication.

All these have contributed to casual sex among the teens and youth. Casual sex is described as sexual intercourse among non-dating partners; sex with no strings attached; free sex or sex anyhow, and with whoever; a one night stand.

Like everyone, I know sexual behaviour is on the increase and the rate is alarming but I never knew it was this high until a concerned mother sent a video to me with a note to advice the youth. Being in a teen and youth ministry for several years now, I was eager to be informed but I was astonished by the content and this led to this topic, ‘Casual Sex’

I saw young people engaging in group sex. I know pornography or sex videos but I have never seen a scenario where a guy penetrates any available vagina he sees and goes to the next. A girl and some guys may be on another girl, while some other guys or girls rush to another available candidate rubbing and fingering. It doesn’t matter if you are invited, everyone is available and welcomes anyone, with no regard for the risk involved in such a bestial act.

This is absolutely surprising to me and I think this ‘dog mentality’ needs to be addressed. As a Christian, the scripture teaches decency. Sex is supposed to be in a loving and responsible relationship.

Sex is a normal feeling; to be attracted to another is not sinful. God himself made us sexual beings and scientifically, it is healthy. But everything done outside God’s will is a sin unless you don’t acknowledge the existence of God and have no regard for His will clearly written in the scripture. You must have heard that,

‘For this is the will of God, your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3)’ OR ‘Run away from sexual

immorality (in any form, whether thought or behaviour, whether visual or written).

Every other sin that a man commit is outside the body but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his body’. We are created in God’s image, that means we have great value, therefore, there must be self-respect and we need to respect each other as well. We are not toys and definitely not worthless, either we believe it or not, we are accountable for our actions. Sex is more than ordinary, it is a covenant between two people, not multiple partners. It is a gift from God with rules.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh” — (Gen 2:24).

One flesh simply means you are joined together with your sex partner because it is a covenant with soul ties. It is a union both physical and spiritual, which makes it difficult for many to keep a home or marriage because of the covenant relationship or soul ties with multiple partners.

Apart from the spiritual aspect, what of the other risks involved such as:

i). Mental health problem, the depression and guilt

ii). Unwanted pregnancies, abortion and complication

iii). Sexual transmitted infections

iv). Low self-esteem and many more.

However, guys generally feel good about sexual behaviour with many partners (unless forced into it), because it gives them the feelings of physical satisfaction, feelings of ‘conquering’, opportunity for amazing sex without any form of commitment. But it is a false feeling because it is coming to hunt you.

Sex in reality is more than physical. It is spiritual, that is how God made it. As many partners you have had encounters with, you are binding your souls with them and this definitely have negative consequences in the future.

In conclusion, we are not enslaved to sex. You can make right choices. If you can’t control your sexual urge as a single, even marriage will not curtail it for you.