Some scars aren’t beautiful
Tags: Emotions, Cars, Decisions, Life Lessons, Self Love

I am not here to tell you to embrace the thorns when the thorns kept cutting you more.

A lot of people say, these scars made you — yes it is. It made us realize how it felt to bleed and how it felt to heal. But not all scars are beautiful and to say you’ll never change them is like saying, you’d make a fool out of yourself over and over again.

Some scars cause us to die inside without resuscitation, some scars are the memoir of our little deaths — those deaths that we rose from as a new person and these are the scars that’s worth keeping.

I’ve met a few people in my field that has scars that they wanted to forget, scars that even when healed can still be felt, that’s when I learn how to say “don’t worry, we’ll keep your scars secret”, one out of confidentiality and two, I saw how painful it was. That same client told me “thank you, I think that’s what I needed, some time to reassure me that it’s okay to hide them”. I realize that some people aren’t cowards for hiding them — they’re just simply painful even when healed.

It’s okay to hide those scars that don’t look beautiful, those scars that still bleed inside. It’s okay to change and ask for a restart every day and it’s okay to forget the person you are yesterday. We shouldn’t burden ourselves into keeping the thorns when we can get the roses, because, in reality, thorns are painful and most of the time, it’ll make no sense.

In an ideal world, people will tell you to hug the thorns so you can keep the roses — but for me, no. While it is comforting to hear that this symbolizes the hardship one has gone through, it is worth considering to get rid of the thorns while you’re at it. Don’t keep hugging the thorns that pain you, because the pain will linger and can be felt every time you wanted the rose. Pluck the thorns and let yourself bleed for a moment if that will mean you don’t have to hug the same pain again.

What I am trying to say is that we have the choice of what we are going to do about the things that hurt us and it’s okay not to keep it just because we believe they make us. Even if they do, the pain itself does not really make us — it’s the decision we make after feeling them do. In real life, we get rid of the things that clog up our space, and this is what we should do with our selves too.

Accepting your flaws is one thing, making yourself bleed is another. And sometimes we fail to realize, that accepting the truth and forgetting the ugly scars aren’t mutually exclusive which puts us more in vain. Because we are trying so hard, to love everything about ourselves, even those that kill us. Some scars are beautiful and some scars aren’t and it’s totally fine to just shrug off the ugly ones because we have to be honest that the ugly ones don’t really make us strong, it makes us more vulnerable. We perceive it to be a strength when we have survived another day with them, and yes it is. But wouldn’t it more beautiful if we go on another day without thinking and waiting when these ugly ones are going to bleed again? We get to enjoy the beautiful ones once we figure that it’s okay to not keep the ugly ones.

It’s possible to love yourself and accept who you are by deciding which ones make you. Filtering the things that go with who you are doesn’t really affect who you are as a whole. It’s a decision you make like having a brand new start. Because sometimes, even shadows blind you and those shadows will get in the way of who you are meant to become, or who you wanted to be. If you have to fight back who you have become, do it — it’s gonna be a long fight but I believe it’s more worth it than not fighting back at all and keeping the self you don’t want in the end.

This world will keep telling you “it’s part of who you are” — yes it is. But if you needed someone to tell you “so what?”, I hope you remember this blog. It’s a bit ironic how people say they wouldn’t change a thing if everything restarts — then why would they need the reboot anyway? Because deep inside, we have our little hopes of becoming someone better without all the negative things that keep holding us back. It’s okay to restart every single time you feel the need to because you think there is something about you that strangles you. You don’t have to choke up on the same tears all over again or get over the same hell again. Real strength comes from knowing that you can’t keep everything, from picking up the courage to move on from the person you didn’t like, from realizing that you have control over what you do about the things that make you. While there are some things we don’t have control over — it's what makes us that we do.

I agree that we should learn to accept who we are, the ugly, and the beautiful ones, but we should also remind ourselves after the acceptance that it’s okay to just take the good ones and move on. Because most often, it’s harder to embrace the thorns even if people say they’re beautiful because they don’t know the pain of them even in a thousand lifetimes — only you can get to feel your owns scars, and only you can get to say whether they’re beautiful or not.

It’s okay, some scars aren’t beautiful and you are still you regardless.