The Tao Of Bear
By: Mike Decastro
Tags: Storytelling, Mindfulness, New Jersey, Dog, Best Friend

After several requests for an interview, with no response, we were elated to finally see a response from Bear (or from Bear’s ‘people’), in our inbox. Bear is an older gent and a hyper-local NJ celebrity, so it is a feat to score an interview. As well, Bear’s social calendar is always full. Two boys who live a block away often walk Bear to the park, where they play, and Bear naps. A gaggle of little girls sometimes stops by to take Bear on some type of arranged furry-playdate. This more often ends in Bear’s sullen return, and the girls’ complaints of Bear being too boring. A surfer who lives next door takes Bear to the beach almost everyday. The surfer surfs, and Bear naps.. while keeping an eye on anything of great value that the surfer might bring to the beach, like a towel. Always, as Bear naps on the front porch, there is a steady stream of visitors.. The Deacon who lives near by, for one, who during every visit is overheard saying: “Oh for God sake Bear, why are you looking at me like that, you’ve known me forever.”, as he rubs Bear’s belly, and Bear looks at him from the corner of his eye, from a head too big and too content to lift off the porch.

Nine years ago Bear arrived at Newark Liberty International, from his homeland of British Columbia Canada. He arrived with a green dot spray painted on the top of his head, which was an easy way to identify a little boy picked from within a litter of 8 other little boys & girls. [sidebar: Before Bear left for America, it was noted that he loved naps more than all of his brothers and sisters, and was slowest getting to the food bowl.. but always ate the most. Naps usually started flat on his back with legs flailed to the side.. and then Bear would slow-motion fall over to one side or the other.] Upon arrival in the U.S., as Bear’s safety crate exited the immigration holding area, Airline personnel were heard mentioning that they thought there was a bear cub being shipped. So the name Bear, if not the personality, stuck.

Bear, far more a ‘people person’, than than any other person we know. Here, beauty and the beast.. Bear is about two years old.

Bear is now 11 years old, (that’s about 75 is people years). He’s long on charm, but a bit on the curmudgeonly side, (as a result of bodily aches and pains). Bear’s demeanor is set within a backdrop of great humor. Bear is young in mind and spirit. ‘Wisdom and humor, the only known antidote to old age.’ as Bear says. The truth is that while Bear’s spirit is sprite, his body is showing the wear of a long life.. albeit a charmed life. So, there was sadly, some onus to score this interview sooner than later. We were drawn to Bear because happiness, or contentment.. is a magnet. It attracts people and moments and tends to create out in front, what is internal. The universe often goes out of it’s way to reward such spirit. That’s what Bear has always been.. content. And indeed a magnet for good people and goodness in general. We hoped some of that might rub off during the interview. Maybe there was a bit of wisdom we could capture and let the world know about. We felt a little like seekers of knowledge waiting for the Dalai Lama to impart a great ‘Truth” to enlighten the rest of our days, that we might reveal to the world at large.

Not really sure why.. but Bear takes seriously the ‘one piece per kid’ rule at Halloween. Even more strange, the bowl never needed a re-fill despite heavy Halloween foot traffic every year.

That enlightenment came days after the interview had taken place. In fact, it happened as this piece was being written. In going over notes, thinking about stories that friends of Bear had shared.. meditating on the way that Bear lives his life.. The Tao of Bear revealed itself — ‘Be good’… and ‘Be kind’. That’s about it. Bear never has time for small minds or small people. He is never harsh toward either.. he just doesn’t have interest. And now, after spending time with people that love Bear, and seeing what the universe gathered for Bear.. We’re going to try always, to be good, and to be kind.

Only now, in the Fall of his years, is Bear reluctant to join the neighborhood girls on an adventure. This photo is how everyone one we spoke to about Bear will remember him. Always a part of their best memories.

Before the interview ended, Bear shared a detail that seemed a bit morose… and gave cause for a few tears and that tight throated feeling. Bear’s favorite book is ‘Lonesome Dove’ by Larry McMurtry. In the book there is a character named ‘Deets’ who is trusted and steady, a long-time scout, and an indispensable friend to the main characters, two Texas Rangers, Captains Gus McCrae and Woodrow F. Call. Deets, in a sudden and random turn in the novel, is killed while trying to save the life a small Indian boy. Captains McCrae & Call, and everyone in their party, are shaken to the core by Deets’ death. In sorrow and mourning Capt. Gus carved an epitaph for Deets in an old piece of wood that served as a tombstone. The epitaph read: “Cheerful in all weathers… Never shirked a task… Splendid behavior”. Bear hopes that is what is going to be written on his tombstone. We believe it will be.