The Virago Newsletter for December 17th, 2020
By: Michelle Jaqua
Tags: Feminism, Writing, Newsletter, Women, The Virago

Here’s your chance to catch up on the articles for this week:

How to Remind Yourself You Don’t Have to be Perfect “In seeking perfection, we compound our trauma and even deceive ourselves about how healthy we are. Even if we recognize that we aren’t the show we put on, I would argue that most of us don’t even know ourselves.”

Getting off the Grid to Marry in Vegas “Tired of hitting bureaucratic walls, we took matters into our own hands and got on a plane to visit the wedding mecca of the world, Vegas. As soon as we checked into our hotel on the strip we hauled ourselves over to the Clark County Marriage Bureau. In less than fifteen minutes we had our license.”

How Changing My Seat Changed My Perspective “Thanks to my new sofa position, I now have at least 5 new ideas for articles bouncing around in my head. I opened my laptop psyched to start writing. But first, I decided to acknowledge what had just happened.”

What Narcissistic Abuse Does to a Woman “Our culture only uses the adjectives “nice” and “mean” to describe a woman, therefore we spend our lives vascillating between the two and trying desperately to stay on the side of nice, since who wants to be seen as mean? We’re not given another adjective choice.”

Christmas Tree, I Bid Thee Farewell “Perhaps it was when I turned my attention to my antique Nativity Scene and saw it was rather lacking. A gorilla was added, and then a sloth. It wasn’t long before little yellow minions arrived to pay homage to the little babe destined for global adulations.”

The Upper Hand of Self Labelled Solitude “I knew something had to change: my perspective, my mindset, whatever it took. I observed people- as I often did, paying attention to those who exuded the quiet strength that comes with self-contentment.”

With All Due Respect, Fuck You, Mr. Epstein “It bothers me when men complain because I claim my space in the room. It bothers me when I’m told I shouldn’t speak that much or be too loud. It bothers me when I’m told I shouldn’t boast about my accomplishments.”

The Tale of a Chair “This rocking chair was made by hand during the years of the Civil War in the first half of the 1860s. I bought it for $3 at a farm sale several years ago. The chair is not terribly comfortable, but it is a beautiful object with a rich life of its own.”

Five Insidious Ways Money Fears Will Thwart Your Success “We love to hate the online-course-creating LifeHacker, elegantly Instagramming his way across the country in an aesthetically perfect Airstream trailer (well-groomed Golden Retriever by his side), embracing a four-hour workweek.”

Crush Procrastination With These 5 Steps and You’ll Feel Accomplished Procrastination is avoidance. It’s a temporary fix to soothe our discontent, but the damage it’s doing isn’t immediate, so we’re not addressing it as vigorously as we should.

My Time on The Oregon Coast “I stayed in my little beach house whenever I could as I recovered from my marital loss. In that five years, this city became my second home and I got to know all of the little mom and pop stores, and all the great places to eat (the dive bar down the road has the best clam chowder).”

The Mentor in My Life Who Changed Me For the Better “Being the oldest child to a single-mother, I wasn’t raised in a loving, caring household. Mostly, I was neglected and required to be ‘the adult.’ I was the caretaker in my small, chaotic family. However, there was one man in my young life who gave me guidance and hope. He showed me that I was worth his time.”

How Fitness Destroyed My Health “We are told what is beautiful, desirable, and attractive, leaving very narrow margins for bodies that are outside of this standard. Research suggests girls as young as age 12 begin internalizing this messaging and as a result, the self-shame cycle starts.”

Confessions of a People Pleaser “When I meet somebody with narcissistic traits, I change from the most authentic version of myself that I am usually working hard to be. A switch flips in my brain, and I fall into my childhood training.”

The 3 Things You Must Do After Breaking Up With a Narcissist “In pretty much all breakups, it’s necessary to break contact with each other entirely, at least for a while. No one can go through the full process of healing and moving on when their ex-partner is still in regular touch.”