The education I had was painful — Part 1: Primary School
By: Phuong Nguyen
Tags: Children Health, Education, Education Reform, Bullying

Today I’d like to tell you a story about my school years and how it has affected my sense of self, and my psychology. Please keep in mind that this is my own personal story and I’m not intending to insult or criticize anybody. The reason why I am writing this is to share with you the experience I had. As I experienced some not-so-good side of school and education, I am very passionate about education methods. More importantly, I am really grateful for the education I had, especially, the effort from my parents and teachers put in to educate & encourage me with the hope that I can reach my best potential and have a life that I can free to make a choice.

You might not know it but I had many difficulties studying at schools from primary school till high school. And because I had so much frustration and pain and I didn’t know how to deal with them, I poured all of my pain as blames, anger, and criticism on my parents. Difficulties I faced include catching up with Math & Science lessons, in expressing myself and making my voice heard, and defending myself from being bullied.

In primary school, I had a hard time trying to survive bullying from my classmates, while keeping up with my grades on subjects that I disliked. I got bullied for most of my primary school years. Sometimes they were verbal bullying, sometimes they were physical bullying. It happened sometimes during classes as well. When I went home and cried to my parents about being bullied at school, they told me to “Be strong and just don’t play with that bully anymore”. I wished it was just that easy. So I didn’t tell them anymore and just cried to myself because I felt like they would never understand how much it hurt me.

I never told my teachers about the bullying story because I was afraid of them thinking I was the bad one. Because I wasn’t the pupil who did well in class or hard-working for subjects that I didn’t like. So many times I didn’t do my homework for math or literature. I remembered one time when my teacher was checking my homework and she found out I didn’t do it, she threw my notebook out of the class door right in front of the class. And I had to go and pick it up. I felt really ashamed. So for subjects that I didn’t like and do well like Math, I would just pretend that I was sick or hurt to go to the schools’ emergency room and just laid down until the class ended. Sometimes I called my parents to pick me up from school and just lied to them that I was hurt. My teachers were really mad at me for skipping classes like that. So much anger was pouring from teachers to me. Sometimes, they could not stand it anymore and they just shouted at me “I finished teaching then you came back to class! How great!”

For me, I was very relieved not to have to sit in class and have to memorize things that I didn’t understand why I had to learn and the practical matter of it. I felt like a bird out of the cage.

I remembered my favorite subjects were English, Geography, Art, and Biology. Because Geography and Biology made me excited and curious about the world and nature. For English, it was my strength! I was so happy when I was chosen to participate in an English city-wide competition! Because after so much scolding from other teachers, only English teachers and the subject itself brought me joy.

I also was misunderstood many times and was scolded in front of the class for it. But this one story I remembered clearly. It was the first week of primary school, it was playtime so I went to the playground and hung out with my classmates. I saw a dead dragonfly and I just wanted to bury it. I thought it would be nice for the dragonfly to rest in peace. So I and my classmates had an idea to bury the dragonfly and decorate it’s ‘’grave’’ with flowers. We dug a small hole on the ground under a tree in a playground and placed flowers on it. In the process of digging a hole, the vice president of the school came to us and scolded us hard for destroying the playground. Later that evening, she came to our class, asked us to come in front of the class, and told everyone how we destroyed the playground. Now I understand why she did it, but wouldn’t it be nice to ask us why we did it and suggested we not do it? Rather than giving us so much anger, assumption, and criticism. But I now understand that most teachers in Vietnam demand students to obey them, and to be scared by students is somehow to them means to be respected.

Outside class, I spent most of my time in the fourth and final year of primary school going to an “extra-class center’’. Where I had to study extra classes in math, literature, and English just so I could best prepare myself to pass the entrance exam to one of the best secondary schools. Many of my friends did the same. At the center, I felt exhausted and unmotivated. I already didn’t understand much about basic Math, at the center, they gave me advanced math. So you can imagine how bad I struggled with it..Especially seeing other classmates did it so fast and well, whilst, I was the worst student. So just study all day, classes after classes, from 8 am till 9 pm, homework after homework, I felt extremely bored. And also being one of the worst students at school, I had, you know, ZERO-self-confidence.

Besides going to the “extra-class center’’, I also went to a weekend-English class with Ms. Hang, where I had lots of fun! She was my friend, my motivator, and my teacher at the same time. She really liked it when I played the piano after my class for her and for her mother (even though I played the same song every day haha).

Things that helped me to get away from boredom and anger from school were mangas, piano, and sports. My mother invested a lot of her time to take me to sports clubs — swimming & basketball clubs. ALL OF the CREDITS GO TO MY MOM! She woke up every day at 5 am to prepare breakfast & hurriedly rode me to sports clubs which start at 6 am. Then she would go home quickly, then rushed back to sports clubs to pick me up. My mother worked at a publishing house where they published A LOT of mangas so mangas were my world! I am still very thankful for her letting me enjoy what I like.

At the end of primary school, I had to pass an entrance test to secondary school. And this was when one of the toughest times of my teenage life happened…To be continued