The One Ability You Have That Can Change The Game.
By: George Blue Kelly
Tags: Illumination, Life, Self, Productivity, Self Improvement

I remember the first time I had to face an audience, it was a sermon in my church- I had to give a Sunday school class to an audience of nearly a hundred people. Well not necessarily that I had to, it was more of, I wanted to. Okay, let's backtrack a little to give you some perspective. Up to that point, I've always been haunted by the words of Khalil Gibran;

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself, that you truly give.”

At this point in my life, I was constantly soul searching, I wanted to do more with my life. It wasn't about having a good job and a nice place, but what could make me whole and give my life some sense of purpose and meaning. what better way than to go for my passion- speaking and making an impact in peoples lives. But the problem was, I could not talk in front of an audience. I had stage fright- severe stage fright. I am someone you would refer to as socially awkward. In my lone time and in my head, I could give the most powerful and exhilarating speech, but not before anyone, and certainly not before an audience of this size.

At this point, I have talked myself into why I have to. For certain I know I will hate myself and never forgive myself if at least I didn't try. So I allowed my desire to make a difference to outweigh my fear of public speaking. I approached the head pastor and laid down my request, which I knew the outcome beforehand. He has always wanted me to take more responsibility at my local church and he was just excited I finally came through.

“Whatever is worth doing, is worth doing badly until you get it right.” - Les Brown

I knew I was going to flop, and I was ready for it. I may hate myself after I flop- sure! But I will resent myself more if I didn't try at all. So I had one week to prep and put my materials together, which I did diligently. I even went as far as writing an entire speech and an introduction. But I didn't want to speak from the note. I love to speak extemporaneously- from my heart. I took the notes anyway as a safety net. I prepared for the one-hour sermon like a general preparing for war.

Thus came the day, and I was introduced, with my journal and bible in hand, I climbed on the pulpit, opened my bible and journal, lifted up my head to have a look at the audience, and that was when it started- I panicked. Immediately I saw those eyes and faces glued to me, my heart failed me. My mind shut down! I literally can not remember anything at all. Everything I have been studying for the past 7 days, was literally nowhere to be found. I started mumbling some words, which today, I do not remember what the hell I was saying. I felt a lump on my throat, it felt like someone was choking me and my heart rate increased- I am officially in panic mode right now.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Now I have one thought- turn over to my head pastor and call it quit. But at that moment, something occurred to me, that why don't I just read what I’d already written down on my journal. Somehow this little thought saved me and also saved the day. I turned to my notes and started spilling out what I've written, starting from the introduction. And I kept going, on and on until somehow, my mind began to remember the thoughts and ideas I forgot. That was how I kept talking for the next 60 minutes.

In the end, I got a round of applause and many positive feedbacks, and even though within me, I knew it wasn't great, I learned that it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it. From that time to this very moment, I have given plenty sermons and done numerous speaking engagements that at this point, whenever I have the chance to speak, I usually can't wait to get there and speak, if not for anything but to hear what I have to say. The process of doing it over and over again, failing over and over again, has strengthened my craft, grew my confidence and made me a better speaker.