Utter Absurdity
By: Spike Dolomite
Tags: Covid 19 Crisis, Covid 19, Texas, Select Committee, Florida

1,500 unvaccinated people are dying a day from covid and it isn’t even the biggest story of the day. We’ll never really know how many people died because Republicans are under reporting their numbers.

Twice as many people are dying from covid as they were a year ago even though the vaccine has been available for 6 months. The worst is yet to come.

30% of teachers and principals and nurses at schools have quit across the country.

Proud Boys tried to force their way on to school campuses to protest masks in Vancouver, Washington. Three schools had to be put on lock down.

A pissed off dad in Arizona showed up at his kid’s elementary school with 2 other people to make a citizen’s arrest and zip tie the principal after his kid was asked to quarantine after being exposed to covid. He dragged his kid in to the school with him when he made this horrible scene and was arrested.

“If you leave your house to go zip-tie your kids’ elementary school principal make sure you take your kids’ hopes and dreams with you, and throw them into the garbage can at the end of the driveway, as they won’t need them after this.”- Jeremy Newberger

Dr Steven M. Brown of St Louis has been practicing medicine for over 40 years. He saw more people die in 12 hours than he ever has in his long career. He likened it to a nuclear disaster.

All kindergarten teachers at an elementary school in San Antonio Texas have tested positive for covid.

Greg Abbott has aborted 59 post birth babies since school started by using his power to kill children by making sure they caught covid at school. Texas schools have over 50,000 covid cases. It leads the nation in the number of child deaths just as it outlawed abortion.

Florida is going to run out of oxygen any day now. People will choke and suffocate to death. The Surgeon General of Florida, Scott Rivkees has resigned. He’s over it.

25 staff members in the Miami Dade school district have died in the last 10 days from covid.

An average of 325 people are dying every day from covid in Florida. Probably more.

Protesters showed up at a mobile vaccination site in Georgia and were so outrageous and threatening that the site had to shut down.

An evangelical pastor who got busted for sexting with men from Grindr claims that the vaccine turned him gay.

An unvaccinated ER nurse in Yucaipa, California has died from covid. She leaves behind 5 children and a husband who is in the hospital with covid. Her fifth child was taken early by c-section after she was intubated.

Kid Rock has had to cancel concert dates because most of his band caught covid when they headlined at the Sturgis Rally. Why didn’t he get it? Could he be secretly vaccinated?

Nobody knows what happened to John Pierce, the attorney representing many insurrectionists. He got covid and all of his phones have been disconnected.

Liz Cheney has been named vice chair of the January 6 Select Committee. House Freedom Caucus Chair Andy Biggs wants Qevin McCarthy to remove her and Adam Kinzinger from the GOP conference for being on the Select Committee and serving as “spies.”

The Select Committee has notified 35 telecom companies and asked them for the records of members of Congress and the White House who made calls and texts on January 6 and the days prior. Everybody who has something to hide is FREAKING OUT. GOP leader McCarthy threatened the telecommunications companies in a press conference by saying the future GOP majority will punish them if they comply. 11 Republicans in the House wrote 13 companies and threatened them with legal action (the letter addressed to AT&T wasn’t even the right contact.) Marjorie Taylor Greene went on Fox to reinforce what Qevin said. “If they go along with this, they will be shut down. And that’s a promise.” She and Qevin and all of the other members of the Sedition Caucus could get 5 years on prison if they used their phones to work together to take over the government.

“We’re beyond Shit Show into utter absurdity.” — Michael Wolff

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