5 things I learned from a year that led to burnout
By: Chantal Kamya
Tags: Black Women, Self Care, Burnout, Women In Tech, Productivity

I went to brunch, and the afternoon was filled with good food and conversation. Everyone, with the exception of two of us, was a work alum of the same employer, so the conversation naturally shifted to work. Two of my brunch-mates now work at new employers, so the conversation centered on one of them no longer feeling the need to work really long hours. I asked her if she felt this way because of the new employer, or her own mindset, and she said both, but mostly her mindset.

She described how she no longer centered her life around her work, and she, “realized that some people use their work as a way to support their lives outside of work.” This is something she hadn’t done, because she aligned so much of her value to her previous job, and gave most of her weekly waking hours to her job. In the past, she saw her work as an extension of herself and didn’t have the same boundaries that she did now, so now the stress was lower.

Her friend then jokingly covered her face with her napkin, and the group laughed, because she was decisively not in the “stress-free” zone of employment.

Then I said, “You can’t draw from an empty well.” It was kind of like one of those movie moments where the record stopped. In my head, it was a whisper to myself, but it momentarily shifted our conversation to burnout, balance, and delegation.

The fact that I even said it, is a sign of growth. I like work. I enjoy applying my mind, and actions, to create outcomes, set visions and make them a reality. I talk about work quite a bit at the macro level — work systems, trends, experiences, problem-solving. That’s part of the reason why this blog is necessary. I try to work pretty hard, and according to StrengthsFinder, with “Responsibility” and “Deliberative” as two of my Top 5 strengths I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking through what needs to be done, why, how and doing it thoroughly. Last year, I worked a lot. Long hours, lots of brain power, little time for other things — at all.

I felt the imbalance. I didn’t invest as much time or discipline to self-care, and I even forgot about vacation time I took in advance and never planned. Yes.

While I was sitting on my staycation I evaluated my time and walked away with clarity that I hold close to this day. Here are 5 things that have helped me:

Things don’t have to be hard. I like challenges, they literally drive me. If someone says, “it can’t be done,” I’m literally like, “sign me up.” But, just because something comes easy to you, does not me that it isn’t worth doing. Sometimes while you’re craving the next challenge, you don’t value the work projects that are intuitive to you and routine. Embrace them, sometimes your mind needs a break. You have to recognize early when people aren’t strong prioritizers. If you’re running yourself ragged trying to please someone who’s priorities keep changing, and never quite pass the litmus test of time or reward, be honest about it. I think we are naturally happy to be a part of things that actually get done. If the person setting your priorities (yes, this includes you!) isn’t quite good at it, get some help or a second opinion. Or else you will end up with rocking chair work life, always moving, never getting anywhere. You will suffer if you don’t plan how you will spend your time, in advance. Meetings aren’t the only thing your calendar can be used for. There are other things that you have to do besides meet. My favorite simple definition for a plan is action with an assigned time. If you haven’t assigned a time for activities — you have a wishlist. And a wishlist will swiftly be moved away when someone puts a 1-hour meeting on your calendar. Productive high achievers delegate and outsource, personally and professionally. To be clear, I’m not talking about the not so lovely habit of having someone else do something because you simply don’t want to. Once you prioritize, you know the highest impact things that you need to accomplish or be a part of executing. It also makes it clearer what needs to do be done, but doesn’t require you to execute. I used to think some people just used more of their day — getting up early, etc. But, there’s more, they simply are better and not doing things that they don’t need to do. It sounds simple, but they are willing to pay for, or delegate, things that don’t actually need their attention, so they can pay attention to things that only they can do. This is at work, and at home. (And they plan these things ahead of time, so they get the best deals and give others enough time to do the work right.) You have to know what environments you work best in, and fight for them. I work in an (extremely) open work plan, but for me to do “deep work” which is most of my job, I need privacy and limited distractions — so I book a room to grind things out. If I didn’t, I would not be able to get things done. I also now spend more early mornings working, and less late nights, to spend some time working without inbound requests, and collaborate with my peers in different time zones. Many of my colleagues are 5–8 hours ahead of my time zone, and a Slack message is great, but a quick call can settle things quickly. So, I use Slack bots to set up the call within a channel.

What I was doing before, was simply not sustainable. I do understand that there are seasons, and maybe there are some years where you are doing the most. Even if you are, you cannot draw from a dry well. If you are not spending the time to restore and nurture yourself it doesn’t matter how effectively you draw the water, if it isn’t replenished and you break the well in the process, you’ll have nothing.

So, today, or even this week, what is one thing that you can do to nurture yourself against burnout?

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