Thumbs Up!
Tags: Cheating, Affairs, Sex Toys, Vaginal Atrophy, Sexuality

Thumbs Up!

When Your Digits Tell a Story

Pic credit Pixabay

By ANONYMOUS

It was the fall of 2018, after 13 years of a sexless, emotionless, and intimate-less marriage, I opened my first Ashley Madison account.

This story is not about my experiences with Ashley Madison…. I can write a book on that (and I did!).

It was not long before I was first contacted by “B.” He was sweet, funny, and charming right from the get-go. His story was very similar to mine, but his marriage had ended, and he was single. Yes, there are single people on AM (soo many…).

We chatted for over a month, and I cannot explain to you how wonderful it was to have someone who wanted to talk with me every day. He was interested in my job, my hobbies, ME. He definitely got into my head.

“We have to meet,” he said.

I met him and there was instant chemistry…. chemistry I have only felt once more since “B”. He was just as charming, sweet, and, OMG as sexy as he portrayed in his emails and texts. Our first date was a success, and the conversation quickly moved to plans for our next date.

Then to a kiss that no man since has been able to replicate.

The next day, I planned on visiting a good friend “J” who I have known since 2002. This girlfriend has one of the coolest jobs, as a district area manager for a Sex Toy company. Or, as she calls it, “Personal Enhancement.” Ha!

After catching up, I felt it was necessary to share with her the date I had the night before.

“This guy…” I said. “He’s got me going.”

“THRILLED for you, hon. You deserve it.”

“You haven’t been with a man in so long? What are you doing to get off?” she added.

“I have uh, er, toys.”

“NOT MINE! I’m appalled! I’m your friend. You should be able to come to me with any sexual perversion,” she joked.

I will skip the next 10 minutes of guilt trip she put me on.

“What crap are you using?” she asked, as she rolled her eyes.

“The one I’ve got is for outside…just my clit. That’s all I need,” I insisted.

“You don’t have a dildo to put inside you?” she asked, incredulously.

“Nooo.”

She pulled out her suitcase of products and went into her dynamic sales pitch, and next thing I know I had my credit card out and purchasing a new toy. The toy, was the size of a huge thumb, and it was meant for external and internal. She was insistent on me letting her know how the internal part worked out. As she was bagging my purchase, she threw in a complimentary bottle of lube.

“For you!”

“I don’t need it!” I said. She shrugged it off, “Everyone gets one with a purchase.”

I was actually excited…. I had a backup toy…AND FREE LUBE!

The night I returned home, I had a hot shower, got into something comfortable, locked my bedroom door, turned on some soft music and started to get down…and then it happened. As I went to insert my new toy…it stopped. I could not ‘get it in.’ It was too tight….and not in a “Yay, I shrunk too tight,” it was an OMG, that is almost painful “too tight.”

Now remember…this thing was just a tad bigger than an average thumb! (Giggling as I picture everyone inspecting their thumb as they are reading this).

Now please, before the question comes up…YES, I have been to the OBGYN in the past 13 years, but that has NEVER been comfortable for me.

So I was sitting there…. thinking about the weekend I had planned with “B” the following week, and wondering…….”What if he is bigger than a thumb?” (Let’s hope so, dearie.)

I was upset at this point. I picked up the phone and called my friend. This was what she said to me:

I wanted to have this talk with you when you were here but did not want to freak you out. When I throw a party with a group of ladies our age, you know what the first thing is that I ask the group?

”Who here has bladder control problems?”

Weird question right, but a handful of the women will put up their hands. You know what that tells me? That they are not having regular intercourse….and I am going to sell them a shit load of toys that night. How is your bladder??

“I tinkle when I laugh,” I replied (not me lady, my KEGELS are my superpower).

Ya, thought so……A woman typically uses the same muscles to hold her urine in that you use when having intercourse…. not when you have an orgasm, during actual intercourse. Now what you are experiencing is Vagina Atrophy and that can be caused by lack of sexual activity, again not orgasms, intercourse! So, in your case, after 13 years I can imagine how uncomfortable it was.

You are NOT broken.

You need to break it in! So, take the bottle of lube I GAVE you go watch some hot porn, slap the lube on your toy and GET AT IT! Don’t forget to bring it with you next weekend for your date…the lube too ;)

My weekend happened and it was awesome, along with the next two months of weekends. I couldn’t have asked for a better first then “B.” He wined and dined me every visit. He definitely enjoyed me, but he was one for quality over quantity (if you know what I mean), so he was glad I brought the toy with me to keep me happy in between, lol (awww, so sweet in a adulterous sort of way).

Why we didn’t continue is another story, but I was ok with our affair, ending.

So, we are at today, and it has been two years since, and I have been on a few coffee dates, but I have not been physical since. Maybe I have gotten too picky, or maybe I am looking for someone just like “B”, who knows?

But I tell you one thing……most mornings, as I wake up hot and bothered…. it is always a “Thumbs Up” Morning!!