Why You Need Friends
By: Morgan Grayson
Tags: LGBTQ, Life Hacking, Lifestyle Management, Dating Advice For Women, Relationships Coach

Your friends will help you pick up the pieces

You can sit there in a dark room and cry about the girl who texted you for weeks before pulling a Casper or you can call a friend. They will let you wallow and the best ones eventually help you find great therapists. This is also why it’s important to have more than one friend because the injustice of your dating woes will play on repeat in your mind. If you don’t vent those feelings you’ll go crazy, but it’s not fair to burden your one bestie with constant vent fests. So the more friends you have, the more you can release frustration without feeling guilty about overloading one person.

“Ugh, Morgan I get it. Friends are awesome and I need some, I know that. But how do I make friends? Making friends as an *insert age group* is hard!”

Well, my dear, it doesn’t have to be. It’s actually easier to make friends than it is to vet your latest match. If a friendship isn’t working there’s no need to make alternative living arrangements or fight for custody of the cat.

So to get started making friends you need to shake up your routine. I get it, we all work, become tired, and fall into a Netflix & chill spiral, it happens to the best of us. But if you want friends you need to put yourself out there. How?

This is going to shock you but once upon a time, you went to an institution where you were surrounded by people your age for 12 years. In those years I’m guessing you’ve spoken to, made conversation, or at least heard of one or two people in your school. Chances are petty good you lost touch and haven’t reconnected for a while, if that’s the case then what’s stopping you from reaching out? If school was a time you’d rather forget then fair enough, start with your phone’s contact list and see who you’ve been ignoring recently. If you think communication should work both ways and they’re just as obligated to reach out to you, you’re right. But I promise you the world won’t end if you try and get no response. At best you’ll reconnect with a cool person you once knew, at worst nothing happens and you’re free to try someone else.

You might think coworkers are nice friends but be careful here. Even the most chill workplace is still a workplace and unless you’re comfortable discussing your personal business at work around colleagues then I’d avoid having a super close work friend to discuss your dating life with. That doesn’t mean you can’t go out for a beer and talk about anything other than work or dating, tough I know.

You’ve also heard of hobbies, but if you don’t like the idea of physically attending them right now, then that’s what online forums are for. I’ve met friends from around the world with who I have regular conversations and actual phone calls with on more than a surface level. It didn’t happen overnight, we started by talking about our shared interests/hobbies and the conversation naturally lead to learning more about each other. Forums are a great place to start, especially Facebook groups in your topics of interest. However, not everyone can connect over text and I respect that. But if after a while of texting you want to switch to WhatsApp I promise you there is a difference when you’re talking on the phone. It might feel awkward at first but it is a skill you’ll eventually develop because it emphasizes listening. Which is actually the key to any relationship.