To the person who believed in me….
By: Celia Reeves
Tags: Grief, Family, Belief In Someone, Medical, Love

The small fudge frosted cake became like a beacon, flashing “Buy me! Buy me”.

I smiled, knowing and smiling with memory. July 10th always holds a special place in my heart. I married my sweet first husband on July 10th. For 11 1/2 short months we made 25 years worth of memories and squeezed it into the short 11 1/2 months we had together that I will treasure forever. He died 2 weeks before our 1st wedding anniversary and left me a young widow at 34, three days shy of turning 35. Even though it’s been years, and though we never got to celebrate our wedding anniversary together, I still get a huge cupcake or a small fudge cake and remember our wedding day and I celebrate the day with something chocolate.

Photo by Kaffee Meister on Unsplash

In time, we soon learned my 1st husband was terminal with liver cancer. The doctor sobbed as he told us the news, knowing we had been married for only a few short months. We quietly talked about what life would be like after he was gone. I’d gotten a flyer about learning how to do medical coding. I was curious to say the least. My 1st husband kept encouraging me to go for it after his death. It took a year after his death from liver cancer before I found a school willing to take a chance on a young widow with a dream of becoming a medical coder. I went to 7 schools, only to get turned down because I was a young widow, and they were afraid I wouldn’t have the stamina to go through the school and pass the national exam. I kept going, gathering rejections like badges of honor until I found a school who said yes to a young widow with a dream of being a medical coder. I slept with my coding books under the bed, impatiently waiting for the first class a month later.

Photo by Max Nelson on Unsplash

I loved it! I soon found I was a natural medical coder, curious about everything medical coding. Soon I was doing more than the expected homework and wanting to learn more. My family soon realized I was happiest when I was looking through my coding books, looking up really zany codes in order to prepare for the national exam. I soon lived, breathed, bled and slept medical codes. This had been my 1st husband’s dream, of me finding something I loved to do. I found what made my heart sing, after a huge loss.

When the time came to take the national medical coding exam, I was ready. That’s the longest, most stressful 5 hours 40 minutes of my life. I also found myself in the ER a few days later for dehydration and a autoimmune disorder which took my mind off the week wait to get my results. I was busy trying to figure out what was wrong with my gut and why I was so freaking sick! When I got released from the hospital after a few days with a new diagnosis and feeling better, my hands shook as I logged in to see if I had passed the hardest national exam ever. I started sobbing as I read CPC after my name. I had done it. I had achieved my dream and passed the hardest exam I’d ever taken in my life..

Photo by Ben Mullins on Unsplash

Fast forward a few years, and I have had a wonderful career that I absolutely love with all my heart. All because my 1st husband encouraged me to follow my heart and go after medical coding with all I had in me.

Do I miss my 1st husband? Absolutely. Not one day goes by when I don’t think of him and how blessed I was to have those 11 1/2 short months that I now treasure.

If I could go back in time, if given the chance to do so, would I trade what happened? No, never. Not for anything. I have missed him dearly over the years, not going to lie. However, to be honest, I would not trade the experiences I’ve had over the years for anything as a medical coder, simply because I had someone who believed in me and I do what I do as a medical coder to honor my 1st husband’s memory, the man who believed in me and my dream. I’ve been able to share our love story and the experiences we had during his hospital visits and what happened on those visits on the blog I write as the Medical Coding Mama. I have found that by sharing what happened to us, I’ve been able to help others avoid or navigate the pitfalls we had been through. By sharing our story, I have changed the course of other lives, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Now back to the small fudge cake…..yes I did splurge and buy it. It’s waiting for me to dive in and eat some of it. Happy Anniversary to me and my 1st husband and the memory of someone who believed in me with all his heart. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some fudge cake to go eat and celebrate in my own small way my 1st husband and his memory on our wedding day anniversary.

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