What to Do if Your Dog Is As Big as Your House?
By: Erica N
Tags: Dogs, Living, Animals, House, Humor

Daisy lived in a 3000sqft flat home overlooking the San Francisco Bay. She was working a high paying job and driving a Mercedes. She had everything even her own private robot that reminded Daisy of how beautiful and smart she was.

One day while she was popping popcorn, she fell asleep. The popcorn burst into flames in the microwave and the microwave exploded. Her home including her 4 cars went into flames. Daisy lost everything. Everything except her English Mastiff named Clifford.

After the Fire

After that event, Daisy decided to restructure her life. She read an indie magazine called “Praise Mother Nature”, a magazine about spiritualism, veganism, organic foodism, and every -ism that may appeal to the modern-day hippie. Daisy decided to go that route. Instead of buying another million-dollar property, she built a tiny house.

The Tiny House Route

Her tiny house wasn’t perfect. The doors didn’t close all the way. The compost toilet made the entire house smell of urine. Water kept running out. The untreated wood floors always gave her splinters.

Even with all of those problems, this was her new home. She was no longer about material possessions.

Another issue was her dog. Clifford is 6 feet tall. He’s taller than the house.

How can someone live in a tiny house with a giant dog? Daisy is going to share 3 tips to make the tiny home transition easy for you if you have a big dog.

1 | Train the dog to sleep against the wall

When Clifford slept on the floor, the dog turned into a carpet. There was no way to walk around the house without possibly stepping on him. His body took up every square foot of the house.

If you train your dog to sleep upright, you should have at least 1 foot between him and the other end of the wall for you to sneak past him for the night time bathroom break.

Training your dog to sleep upright is easy. Just lean him against the wall like a ladder. Tape a pillow to the wall so you can remind the dog to associate the pillow to a vertical bed. Your dog will learn to rest his head on the pillow and next thing he’s sleeping upright. If your dog slides into carpet mode again, just reposition him.

2 | Have no furniture

Furniture is an unnecessary evil. It takes up space and is expensive. Humans were built to do everything on the floor. Why not do the same with your dog? Without furniture, you don’t have to worry about space issues.

Learn to live a nudist possessionless life with your dog. Own nothing but a rug, a spoon, and a bowl and that’s it. If you get cold at night, just snuggle up underneath your dog and let his fur keep you warm.

3| Train your dog to use a litter box

Clifford is a big dog. He eats a lot and therefore he uses the restroom a lot. Even when Clifford is sent outside to use the bathroom, with a tiny house comes a tiny lot and no tiny house owner wants a yard with mountains of dog poo. Create your own DIY dog litter using a cardboard box and some wood shavings and you have a compost toilet for your dog.

Here is a bonus tip if you refuse to do any of the above:

Bonus: Build a second tiny home for your dog

Even though daisy didn’t follow any of the tips she gave you and because she has the money, she built Clifford his own tiny house. It’s like a life-sized dog house. Clifford can come in and out of his own home to hang out with daisy. He’s trained to maintain his compost toilet and even trained to take out his trash.

In a future article, Daisy will teach you how to train your dog to do housework whether you live in a tiny house or not.