Valentine: Celebrity Edition
By: Mursalin Habib
Tags: Tessa Thompson, Crush, Regina Spektor, Marie Kondo, Valentines Day

There is this complain that I don’t do anything on valentine’s day. 2019 is the year of change. So, in the day of love, I am going to do something different, something very very quirky. Yes, after giving it a long thought (which is about the time between brushing the teeth and toddler realizes neither mama or baba is in the bed), here goes my list of crushes, the list of peoples, if I am approached, I would have to give a second thought and I may ponder on digressing from my integrity . Here goes my top five as of February 2019 (Yup, it may change, in the age of uber not doing the same mistake Ross did in Friends),

1. Marie Kondo: The Mary Poppins you can date. Not that I subscribe to her KonMari techniques, but I can listen to her talking keeping my eyes closed, her voice sounds like music. As Sonia suggested, I can keep my eyes open too, she has no problem with it.

2. Tessa Thomson: If there was a Jacqueline Bond (the female version of James Bond), Tessa Thomson would be the perfect cast for it. She is effortlessly cool and fluently hot, while totally looking like a toddler who is going to throw tantrum the next minute. Did I mention her hair? That too.

3. Regina Spektor: This was tough. But, yes, her glottal stop and broad range won over Katy Perry’s flamboyance and love for rock. Plus Regina Spektor brought in some other Genre in my playlist, which is and was otherwise mostly 70s rock. And her hair.

4. Salma Hayek: While Desperados was the film made me binge watch on her other movies from 90s, Frida kept her in this list forever. And I have a thing for curly hair, that helped.

5. MacKenzie Tuttle (Bezos): She is my only chance to become a billionaire and she is a writer too! The only negative is, she lives in Seattle, I don’t know if I can deal with the climate over there.

Honorable mentions:

Emma Stone (not in the list, because I am not a creep, she is too young), Wynona Ryder (but her kleptomania was a big turn off), Elisha Cuthbert (teenage year crush, when she was hosting Popular mechanics for kids plus she is a Canadian, free health care everyone), Katy Perry (when she broke in to the music scene about 10 years back, her ballsy rock chick persona really was a change to pop-scene, but now I don’t see that energy anymore), Natalie Portman (She is the queen Padme Amidala, why do you even ask!), Amy Tan (one of my favorite writer of all time, her works on immigrant’s life in USA which I can relate to very much and they are full of wit and sense of humor), Saoirse Ronan (too young, age difference is too much, I would call her ‘Apu’, before and after every sentences if she were a deshi), Maren Jensen (probably my first crush when I was in elementary, from battle star Galactica), Monica Bellucci (let’s say I was a teenager and I was shallow and I am not proud of the reason why I picked her back then).

Few of my friends probably will try to say that they have dibs on them, it does not matter, none of you were audacious enough to put it on your wall, the most sacred vesting you can expect from a millennial. So, they are mine. And most of them live in Southern California, proximity matters.

(Author wrote this on 2/14/2019)