When Your Heart Aches and You Don’t Know Why
By: Judy J Lutz
Tags: Empowerment, Self Discovery, Spirituality, Connection, Self-awareness

When Your Heart Aches and You Don’t Know Why

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

I often wonder, am I overanalyzing? My energy is most definitely stuck. There’s something niggling at me that won’t go away; it must be a message.

My lower back throbbing as I wake from a heavy sleep, I realize I was on my computer all day again, not so good. The body needs attention, and mine spoke very clearly this morning: Stop everything and take care of me.

I moved around a bit, and since my normal simple stretches were not cutting it, I treated myself to some muscle stim. Beautiful relief thanks to those little tens pads you apply to target and address the increasing vice grip of your tightening muscles.

I search my cell phone for some soothing music to accompany my massage, and my favorite song comes to mind. “Google Play Music is no longer available. Transfer to YouTube Music. The transfer may take several hours.”

Hmmm.

Since I have no access to my beloved recording, I search for the song on YouTube, scrolling through the many versions of Barber’s Adagio for Strings.

These new pop up ads on YouTube are a nightmare, especially disruptive when you’re trying to relax. The first recording, way too fast, and although the notes were correct, it lacked feeling.

If you don’t know the song, it’s heart-wrenching, beautiful and sad at the same time with an intense build that will make you cry like a baby.

Let’s try the Vienna Philharmonic. Better, but still too fast, what were they thinking?! Next.

And there he was. Hauser. Handsome Croatian making love to his cello like it was a life or death performance. This guy is gorgeous and obviously devoted to the ultimate expression of everything that music will give you.

Oh, how I wish I could have been in that room, soaking up all those overtones.

I couldn’t close my eyes; it was all so beautiful. You could even hear him breathing. This man is responsible for pulling out of me the depths of my soul’s desires, which I’ll share with you now.

After a little research into Hauser’s work, (yes I was stalking,) I began to reflect. How is it he’s mastered his gift at a young age so he can live at the top of his game and love all of life?

I’m the winding down the stage, still figuring out what I’m supposed to do. My sadness amplified.

Why do we hold on to beliefs that make us unhappy? What is it I need to let go of? There’s something, that niggle again that’s obstructing me from appreciating what I’ve been through.

I’ve missed so many opportunities to accomplish my dreams, but does that really matter? Shouldn’t I love myself, no matter what? Accept me for who I am? Yes, I know this in my heart; I am enough.

Since I’m still burdened by the pain of regret, I know there’s work to do identifying this energy that hides deep within.

This is an expanding Universe, and all things must be allowed. In other words, for you to understand and experience what you desire, you must understand that which you do not desire, for in order to be able to choose and focus, both must be present and understood. The Teachings of Abraham

Yeah, all that fame and fortune would be such a hassle. Paparazzi, touring, media attention. I value my privacy. I know things don’t work out for a reason; that must be it.

Yet, how do I deal with these feelings of suffering and neglect? Sometimes you can’t find the meaning behind your negative emotions; that’s why they're so elusive; but when they come up, you must release them.

Healing hidden wounds isn’t possible without clearing the stuck energy first. Your perspective must change. Use your power of intuition to guide you to the place in your body where you’re storing your feelings.

It could be related to my chronic back issues, but I also feel it in my neck, and unyielding stubbornness to let go. There’s a story behind my pain, which I’m choosing to believe. Something I’ve decided is true about myself.

It’s a filter, distorting my opinion of myself, blocking my sense of contentment. I’ve learned to protect myself from receiving this kind of energy from others, but when it comes from within, I’m unarmed.

Nevertheless, it must go.

I call on my spiritual self to help me separate from the experience. I can feel the transition as I move to a higher place of observation. All is well. You are worthy. This comes from your past and is no longer relevant.

The release is easy and quick, as I see the hurt which is no longer mine dissolving, vanishing into the cosmos. Time to fill that hole with love.

I relax and allow it. Love from the Universe is quick to oblige, filling the void with adoration and appreciation. Thank you, angels, I’m grateful for the connection to all that is; an infinite resource for understanding and acceptance.

My healing will continue all day today, as I focus my attention on loving myself and all that I have to give. What I believed doesn’t matter anymore, it no longer haunts me.

A soothing warm bath to seal the deal. Did you know that soaking in water helps you release? What better place is there to meditate? I can’t wait to receive new insight into ways I can give back to this world.

Ultimate fulfillment comes when you longer need to compare new information with old beliefs. We take in our experiences with the peace of neutrality, making room for clarity and vision.

Don’t be afraid of your detox, resisting will only strengthen the ideas limiting your expansion. Recognize when your many emotions are speaking to you and pay close attention. The time you spend here will open up many doors.

Namaste