Five Ways to Find Success When Mental Illness Gets in the Way
By: Leanne Lamalia
Tags: Personal Development, Work, Advice, Mental Health, Mental Illness

Most of the time when we set our life goals, things we want to be when we grow up, it‘s attainable. Okay — not always, I was never going to be a woman playing in the NBA as I planned — but some kids dream of being a doctor, so they go to school for a billion years, and some want to become an actress, so they move to LA and meet with directors and producers. It’s difficult but possible.

When you are working for yourself, and you’re suffering from a mental illness, you are often faced with a much larger obstacle than most will experience.

Back in fourth grade, my mom, brother, sister, and I started to attend family therapy sessions right after my parents separated. It’s odd to me that I cannot remember a lick of what those sessions were like, but soon enough those sessions turned into a one-on-one between me and the psychologist. It became apparent that my reaction to the separation went well beyond what was normal for a child my age. Depression and anxiety, and later on OCD, was the diagnosis that would affect me to this day.

I have never been the person to share overly personal details about my life, but shout out to my psychologists and psychiatrists over the years, you have heard it all.

All through my life as a student, I would often go to bed super early or take two-three hour naps right after school. My sleepiness was often mistaken for laziness and me just being unmotivated, and it has taken a full decade to realize that it wasn’t laziness at all. I was — and in some ways still am — an athlete. I have always been enthusiastic, adventurous in many aspects of my life, and a high achiever as a student, but when it came down to pursuing things that I was/am passionate about, I would often find myself taking a loooong nap when I could be getting shit done.

I still want to get stuff done. Live my dream life. Push myself to become successful (whatever that means), but without fail every time I set out to start a new venture, often ends in the afternoon nap or accepting my boyfriend’s invitation to going to the beach in the morning, when I could be putting in work.

It’s a downward spiral. First, you put off productivity, and then you feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that you didn’t work, which leads to anxiety and then feeling like a crap human being, and that just leads to a complete shutdown. So long future productivity!

As I have been figuring out how to be my own self-starter, I am continually learning how to be a productive individual while dealing with anxiety and depression. Here are a few things that I have learned so far:

Set a schedule, and let people know it.

It is easy to be feeling a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) if your partner, your friends, your family are asking you to do something that could draw you away from your work. They don’t know any better, they just want to include you in their plans. You are torn in two directions: you can say “yes”, and blame yourself for not working, or you can say “no,” and feel like you are missing out on something important or fun. Both options make you feel like doggy doo-doo.

If you are constantly drawn away from your work by specific people in your life (*cough cough… your boyfriend*), you need to let them know that you will be putting in work from 7 am-12 pm, 3 pm-8 pm, etc. and tell them that you would really appreciate them to be considerate of those hours, that is the time that you need to be left alone. Most of the time, they will respect you enough to honor that schedule.

If you are able to stick to a schedule, the guilt of skipping out of working will subside. When you eliminate that guilt, you will often eliminate a lot of anxiety in your life.

Allow yourself the freedom to take breaks.

While some people may be able to sit for 8 hours at a time and crank out a ton of very focused work, many of us will need to figure in breaks to get through the day. This should come with setting your schedule. Maybe your workday will be:

6 am-8 am: Work.

8 am-10 am: Workout, eat, shower.

10 am-1 pm: Work.

1 pm-3 pm: Nap.

3 pm-5 pm: Work.

You’re still able to get a full workday in, and you allow yourself the time to rest your mind. And hopefully with each break, comes a renewed ambition to get more shit done!

Give yourself something to look forward to with each accomplishment.

Maybe you are setting up your own website. Maybe you are writing a story and publishing it. Whenever you hit a milestone, do something for yourself that you enjoy. I will have a glass of wine and eat some frosted animal crackers once I publish this. Get creative, and make the reward sweet!

It’s like training your cat to do something; if he sits really still and behaves while you're brushing him, he gets a treat. Soon he will start liking his daily brushes(as long as a treat is ALWAYS involved). The more you’re treating yourself after a job well done, the more you will look forward to the next time you need to get to work.

Put yourself in the right environment.

Sometimes this means putting on the same soundtrack every day. Or it could be sitting in the same chair to get stuff done. However you work best, do it.

For instance, I tend to work my best when I walk down to the coffee shop, get some coffee and a pastry, park my butt in a seat with my back facing the window, and go to town on my laundry list of tasks to accomplish. Coffee shops are still closed at the moment (!!!sensitive topic warning!!! COVID-19 #wearamask), but I am managing by sitting where ever my boyfriend and cats are not (#thenewnormal).

Remove stressors and distractions from your workspace, and thank me later.

Forgive yourself from slipping up, and move on.

No one is perfect, sometimes you will start the day with every intention of getting work done, but no matter what you do, you cannot put yourself in the right mental space to focus on your work. It’s okay. Do what you can, if anything. If you can’t, tomorrow is another day!

All of us will struggle at some point, but it is often people like me, who suffer from anxiety and depression, that let one little failure become an overwhelming presence in your mind. If you have a few days, where you are really struggling to get work done, and that is causing you extreme anxiety and depression, seek help. Talk to a professional, whether that is a faith and community leader (pastor, rabbi, etc.), a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1–800–273-TALK (8255)), your mental health is important!

Being successful as a self-starter is possible for everyone, even if you are a person who struggles with their mental health. It might be a slightly longer road with a lot more obstacles, but if you strategize and prepare yourself to get over those hurdles in advance, you will find that it is something that is attainable for you too.