The WHY of The SEEchange Conference
By: Monica Antohi
Tags: Business, Diversity, Conference, Mission, Leadership

So how did we get to the SEEchange conference?

How did the idea come for the conference?

Long story, but stay with me. You might enjoy the journey.

It goes back to how my mission in life, to make this world better, somehow.

When I was a little kid, I kept seeing pain and suffering all around me, and I knew I wanted to make that pain go away and lessen the suffering for all.

I had no idea how to do that back then, but I took an interest in the human stories, the human saga, and I started getting very interested in what people were saying, how they were feeling about things, and how the events of their lives impacted them. A lot of people suffer from the simple fact of not being heard, seen, appreciated, openly loved for who they are, accepted as they are. I didn’t consciously know that back then, but I saw how by me listening to them, it made them feel better, it lessened their burden a bit. And that made them, and me, feel good.

So I went into psychology. I started studying psychology in seventh grade. Not formally! I went to the library, yes, I am that old, lol, and asked the librarian to start me off with books in psychology. Well, she did. And even if that’s not necessarily what I would have done, she handed me a book by Sigmund Freud. Yep. That’s how I started in psychology. Reading Freud in seventh grade. Thank all the good teachers I’ve had who’ve taught me how to learn, and how to approach a book. Without them, I’d have started that book, read a couple of pages, and then returned it promptly.

But my dedication to helping people pushed through the tough language that didn’t yet make much sense to me, pushed passed the dream analysis that Freud came up with, and continued on with other books by Freud, then Adler, Jung… I was hooked. The human pain and motivation and drive and resolve and passion, all started to clarify and de-fog for me, creating a clearer perspective on humanity. Through the next 5 years I continued to read about how we think, about how we develop, about what motivates and drives us.

Choosing my degree in college was a no-brainer. Psychology of course! But then I added journalism so that I can understand the biggest influencer on the human brain… And then I added marketing, because honestly, the more insight I had into the human brain, the easier it was to think about the motivations, and about what drives us, and create ad copy that spoke to a particular group of consumers.

In the real world, I ended up gravitating towards marketing, not because I didn’t want to help people anymore with psychology, but because I realized that being a psychologist was not my path. It was the beginning.

I had to find another way to help. Marketing seemed like the best option. I could help clients get to their target audience, and I can engage consumers with an empowering message.

It felt empty.

That was the case for years. Until I started working primarily with female clients. And I saw their drive and their dedication in making women’s lives better, somehow.

And I saw myself gravitate towards female clients. And was pulled in not just by the sense of mentorship and family that that created with some clients, but I was 100% sold on their mission. I wanted to help them so much that most of the time, I was taking a pay cut just to work with them. I did that for a few years.

Until I found that my mission was being put aside and my passion was dying. I had to live my own mission.

My mission, helping as many people as I can, took many years to clarify itself and find an actual way that it could manifest into this reality.

So, what is my personal mission?

To improve the lives of as many people as I can, to make a positive impact in the world and in the lives of as many people as possible.

Sounds vague. It’s not.

It’s driven me and my every decision my entire life.

Late 2015 I just couldn’t wait anymore, couldn’t postpone starting this endeavour anymore. January 2016 I had started The Business Magazine for Women.

I started The Business Magazine for Women not because I wanted to be a publisher. Or an author. Or a CEO. Or a startup founder. Or a speaker. Or whatever else you might have associated with it.

I started the magazine because I thought that that is the best, most direct way, most impactful way to improve a lot of lives, and change society for the better at the same time.

The question comes up; what is society? How do you define society?

I define it by its culture, by the things that we say to each other, by the things that we do, by the things that we let happen when we don’t stand up for what we believe in and for what’s right.

Our society, our culture, is shaped by the media, by how we’re being presented with the version of reality that media is splaying all over TV, radio, newspapers, magazine, blogs, vlogs, podcasts, and omg movies, and whatever else we have to showcase the voices of the people. But that’s not it, is it? It’s not the voices of the people that we see. It’s the media’s focus that we see. If the media channel is paid by or owned by a conservative group, you’ll get that version of reality fed to you. I don’t want to get into political debates over who's right or wrong in the current political landscape. That’s not my point.

But if you’re honestly looking at media overall, you’ll see the same trends permeate every medium.

The message is the same on TV as it is in Radio, movies, magazines and newspapers….

Take magazine covers for example. It’s an easy thing to do. Go to the bookstore, like I did, sit in front of the magazine rack and take a look at the covers.

Forget about the headlines. Look deeper.

See the number of covers that showcase men vs. those that showcase women. Are there more men on the covers? Yes? A lot? Yes! Ok. Next.

Now look at how men and women are represented. Are men wearing business appropriate attire? Yes? Ok. Are they pouting their lips? Are they showing you their derriere in a playful, coquettish manner? No? Ok!

What are the women wearing? Not much, and definitely NOT business appropriate attire. The women are made to look sexy, not sensual. Sexy! They’re wearing almost nothing in most of the covers. Their whole demeanor is made to attract, to be appealing and sexual.

And then take a look at who’s on the cover. Do you see older women? Anybody over 45? No? Ok.

Do you see older men? Are they made to look “old”, or “distinguished”?

Let’s look at what magazines have which gender on the cover.

- Tech, Business, Sports: Men

- Lifestyle: Fashion, Crafts, Tabloids: Women

( I don’t even want to go into the denigration of the female body and female image that’s being portrayed in the tabloids, and how we’re abasing ourselves by finding reasons to laugh at the misfortune of others, male or female alike!)

Should we go deeper into cultural diversity? Ok.

Do you see many, or ANY, African American, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, or any other “minority” well represented on any cover, it being male or female? No? Ok.

What does this tell you about the society that it represents?

In our society:

1. Men rule!

- with a big disclaimer that it’s not all men that rule. It’s mostly white men that rule.

2. Women are viewed as sexual objects, always seen in subservient roles.

3. Age matters, but it affects men and women in opposite ways.

- Men gain prestige and influence as they age, and they become more distinguished, more appealing to their male colleagues and to the opposite sex.

- Society tells us that women lose their sexual appeal and therefore are not valuable to society anymore after they turn the “very old age” of 40-45 years old. Women after a certain age are not represented at all in the media unless they’re actresses or in pop culture. Even so, have you seen Madonna on any cover lately?

4. Cultural/ethnic diversity is like the fabled unicorn; not real. The fantasy of many great people with beautiful imaginations. The reality is very different.

5. Most of the magazines are targeted towards the lowest common denominator of intellect, e.g., tabloids, lifestyle.

Now sit and read that again.

What we chose to focus on is how our culture is being created. If you keep feeding your brain those kinds of messages, that’s the only thing that you’ll be able to disseminate/communicate yourself.

Media is like food for society. If we feed society a good, healthy diet of equality, diversity, empowerment and acceptance, that’s what we’ll get at the other end, that’s how our society will evolve.

Think back at all the totalitarian regimes, and how they censor books, and free speech, and journalists. Why are they doing that? Because they know that books and knowledge are powerful tools. They’re the most powerful tools we have as a species. And what you tell society is the most important thing that any government, or in our case, the media (which, with the level of influence that it has today could be seen as the behind the scenes rulers of mankind), can do to stir and guide its people in the way that they want you to go.

I know. I sound like a hypocrite because I’m in publishing, because I started a magazine. I’m not.

My mission is the opposite of their mission. They want to divide and conquer.

I want to bring us all together and make our society better, for you and me, and for the future generations.

How do I do that?

With a purposeful mission statement!

1. I first started with the magazine that gives a voice to ALL WOMEN and men. I want more women represented on the covers of magazines. We have amazing female role models and women dedicated to the good of us all, in every industry, and I’ve been starting to prove that with our magazine covers and our Wonder Women podcast.

2. The Business Magazine for Women is a business magazine that looks at women in business, finance, tech, STEM, medicine, law, politics, sports, and arts and culture. There is no lifestyle or “female” energy, or sexual visuals within the magazine. That stops! We’re not doing that!

3. Women come in every color, shape, size, background, belief. We look at all of them. All colors! All sexual preferences. All cultural backgrounds. All nationalities. All ages. Women exist outside of the 17–25 age group. We’re half of the world population, and we age at the same rate that men do. Enough with idealizing youth and “beauty” standards that have nothing to do with how women are! We’re more than white, skinny, blonde, and helpless and looking for a savior. That’s what we see on all the other magazine covers right now. That stops!

4. The Business Magazine for Women is a magazine that’s going to de-sexualize how women are seen in society. And that’s not a bad thing.

You cannot have powerful women forced to “stay young” and dress sexy when they’re running a company! Women, like men, should gain prestige and influence as they age, seen as distinguished, be appreciated and seen as role models to their male and female colleagues, because they are!

We cannot have brands constantly sexualizing women! That needs to stop! It’s been sending the wrong message to every generation, including ours.

5. Nothing wrong with sexuality or sexual expression. But NOT IN BUSINESS! Not in advertising. Not as a form of cultural subjugation! Sex is freeing, mind-expanding. Not to be feared, nothing to be embarrassed about. But it has no place in business! Women and some men have been victims of sexual attacks and aggressions in business! The #metoo movement didn’t happen to a respectful and balanced society. We don’t want to perpetuate that kind of cultural norm where it is permitted to change the conversation during a business meeting, from business to sex.

We are NOT associating ourselves with brands that promote sexually charged ads, that portray women and men in sexual ways, that use sex to sell products and ideas.

6. Men are not the bad guy here! This is not me, or women, or The Business Magazine for Women, against men! AT ALL! Far from it. We feature men in the magazine and the podcast. Men are our partners. My father taught me the words of empowerment. My father taught me respect for all, rich or poor, men or women, young or old. Men are our partners in this world. We create and build businesses together, we build homes and ignite families together. We create together.

No matter how well-intentioned a person is, the level of self-awareness and self-control needed to not be influenced by the messages that the media sends to us every time we open up a social media app, or browse a magazine rack in line at the grocery store or at the bookstore, or just look at the billboards on our drive to work, that level of awareness is difficult to achieve. It’s almost impossible not to be influenced by all of that. The biases we all have, even if they’re different, are influencing our behaviours. Awareness is a start.

7. No click-bait. We’re not getting your adrenaline pumping only to deliver something unsatisfying and non-mind-expanding. We’re creating purposeful copy, showcasing the good in this world, showcasing the people (yes, we’re more focused on women) that bring value to our society by creating products and services in the service of others.