5 Healthy Boundaries To Enforce Right Now
By: Sherron Pearson
Tags: Relationships, Boundaries, BlackLivesMatter, Respect, Unplug And Recharge

Identifying your personal boundaries is only half of the battle.

After meaningful reflection to become fully aware of your needs to remain healthy, happy, and whole, you are responsible to then communicate and enforce your boundaries.

An adult life without boundaries can leave you feeling as if you have no control over your life and even promote prolonged states of victimhood or feelings of passive aggression.

Here are 5 simple strategies that help you enforce boundaries that make you feel in control of your life:

1) UNAPOLOGETICALLY SAY “NO” OR “YES” (OR EVEN CHANGE YOUR MIND)

You know yourself, your needs, and how the consequences of your actions affect you better than anyone else. Therefore, you are most qualified to make decisions for yourself. If you are feeling depleted, you are not required to expend your energy on anything or anyone other than yourself. Give yourself permission to rest. It is okay to turn down an invitation to relax at home and take space. Alternatively, you are still in your right to reevaluate a situation and change your mind. If you come across a person who often resorts to emotional manipulation or trying to guilt you for choosing self-care, it’s time to have a conversation or reconsider their role in your life.

2) RESIST THE URGE TO FIX OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS

You can support someone without constantly reaching for your hero’s cape. Sometimes the best way you can be there for someone else is to serve as a soundboard. Instead, try to give them encouragement to make necessary changes for themselves. Focus on yourself and be wary of people who constantly look for you to save them. Alternatively, be mindful of overcommitting to resolve issues that don’t involve you. You may be misplacing valuable energy by entertaining distractions from your personal growth.

3) PUT YOUR PHONE ON SILENT

Sometimes people in our lives abuse the fact that our phone is a direct line of communication. Your phone grants immediate access to you, and therefore, virtually anyone has the ability to instantly affect your emotional state based on whatever information they share. Have you ever been in a bad mood and someone texted you with bad news — without asking if you were in the space to receive it? Sometimes taking a break from your phone allows for refreshing moments of mindfulness and productivity. Try disabling notifications during certain parts of the day to make sure you have time to check in with yourself.

4) “YOU MAY NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY”

What a person will and will not tolerate during social interactions is oftentimes reflective of their self-esteem. At a minimum, everyone should protect their emotional well-being by only engaging in conversations and discussions as long as they remain respectful. If your friend, family member, partner, or employer begins to yell or use demeaning language, you need to speak up. Let them know that kind of behavior is not how you communicate. If you’re not in a position to speak up, look for an exit strategy out of the situation or away from that person.

5) CUT TOXIC PEOPLE OFF

There is no rule stating that people have to remain in your life. There is a fine line between loyalty and delusion. If someone constantly ignores your boundaries, takes more than they give, or is simply not worth the drama — CUT THEM OFF. Sometimes it’s necessary to shed people who are no longer in alignment with the person you are at the moment. Don’t resist, let them go, and perhaps they’ll return to your life at a more appropriate time.

Although enforcing personal boundaries can be tricky at first, communication and consistency are the keys to successful implementation.

Make sure that others are privy to your boundaries and you consistently enforce consequences whenever they are violated. Gain confidence through practice! Begin enforcing your boundaries with supportive individuals that you trust would respond well to your pursuit of self-care.