How to Change Your Amazing Self for Good: Journaling & Intentional Gratitude
By: Caroline Depalatis
Tags: Personal Growth, Gratitude, Journaling, Habit Building, Self Improvement

“Live your life like you are 80 years old looking back on your teenage years.” — Taylor Swift

Wow, I wouldn’t have expected that quote from a now-30-year-old. I’m not quite sure when Taylor Swift actually said that, but it is a statement packed with sound wisdom.

Why?

Because so frequently we forget the long-haul nature of life.

Photo by PublicDomainPictures on Pixabay

Granted, none of us know if we’ll have tomorrow. So learning how to truly be present every day (especially if you’re not so inclined) is a great gift we can give ourselves and others.

But recognizing we are building a life for the long haul (even if it does get cut short), means we gain a lot when we try to take the perspective, often, of our 80-year-old self.

This is one of the reasons I’ve come to believe in the power of journaling and expressions of gratitude, every single day.

My story, in brief

I’ve always loved journaling. But, truth be told, I’ve never been very good at it, especially with the consistency part.

Unlike many writers — introverts who have these well-developed inner lives — I am admittedly more of an extrovert by nature. It’s really been in the last five-ten years my “hidden introvert” has found a more prominent seat at the table of my life.

And I cherish that, actually. Quiet walks alone. Reading more consistently, and more often, enveloped in story. And writing. Oh, how I love, love, love to write!

I would officially consider myself an ambivert now.

Until 2019, I had been a haphazard journaler. I’d go for a stretch and then, suddenly, hit a barren patch. Then, when I’d restart journaling, I would be determined to start writing consistently every single day. Sadly, usually by Day 4 or 5, I would have missed a day.

And there goes the habit — as in, I’d throw that proverbial baby out with the bathwater. If it couldn’t be perfect, well, then — it wouldn’t be at all.

Photo by Stencil

Sadly, I’ve got too many unfinished journals filling up my shelves. And you can’t get rid of them, can you? I mean, after all, in them lie ideas and thoughts you cannot find anywhere else. Can you relate at all to this feeling?

Earlier in 2019, I joined a journal-writing challenge led by Chris Marr on SPAR (a social habit-building app), and it has been a game-changer for me. I have been consistently writing in my journal every single day since early May.

And, even though I decided to take a year-end break from SPAR (getting restarted in January), I’ve kept on with the habits because I truly just can’t live without it now.

If you are a long-term journaler, this may seem a meager accomplishment. But if you are anything like me, I hope what I share here will be an encouragement to you.

Making the change

This past year I’ve made a lot of changes. I wrote about some health and fitness changes here. But I believe foundational to these changes has been consistent journal writing as it’s helped me to know myself better, work through challenges, and consider the relationships in my life in new ways.

Currently the SPAR app is only available for iOS in the App Store. Maybe 2020 will see an Android version. Hope so!

The fact that this is done through a SPAR challenge gives me community all around the world to do this with. That alone makes it pretty fun.

And the accountability is supreme. You can lose money through SPAR if you don’t check-in, but you split the pot if you keep the habit going the full length of each challenge. This doesn’t work for everybody, but it works for me.

When I journal, I write for me.

It doesn’t have to be fancy or long. It doesn’t have to be profound (sometimes it is, sometimes not).

But it’s a record of my thoughts, my life.

And, even more importantly for me, it’s “hallowed space.” I really love visiting this “sacred space” every single day.

Here’s how I do it

For me, on most mornings it is the first thing I do after I work out (and shower, etc.). I’m fortunate because there’s this very cool coffee shop strategically located across from the sports center where I attend early morning classes several days a week.

Once I get situated, I find an excellent instrumental playlist on Spotify and then set my timer for 15–20 minutes.

I block everything and everybody out (almost always!). I go deep. I sometimes use prompts, but often I write about what’s going on in my life and then dig deeper about how I’m feeling, questions and doubts I’m pondering, etc.

Although I’ve been doing just free-form journaling this year, I’m intending to do more focused planning alongside this practice as well as bullet journaling in the year ahead. I want to experiment with the practice, now that I’ve determined I can’t let it go!

Cathedrals and stained glass in my mind — I enjoy the holy nature of journaling. Photo by Stencil

My personal faith as a follower of Jesus is important to me. I often (but not always) will use my journaling time as a way to communicate alternately with “Abba,” my Father (as if I’m sitting on his lap) or with Jesus, as if he’s sitting right next to me.

I love the holy nature of that moment, whether I’m writing to God or not.

And before I know it, I’m done! Sometimes, but not always, I wish I could go on and on. But the work of the day awaits. Still, I fit it into my day, and it feels so good.

Some people prefer writing in the evening, but I’ve found for me morning works better. I’m more alert and eager to pour out my heart, my ideas, right there on paper.

Intentional gratitude

Gratitude is yet another area I’ve focused on this past year. I’ve been in a SPAR challenge led by Jeffrey Everage to express gratitude for a full recorded minute within the SPAR app. This experience, too, has been incredible.

Yes, it’s true — sometimes my profundity is lacking. I can get repetitious at times. But sometimes I can pull out things for which I’m thankful and had no idea were floating around in my subconscious.

Sometimes I focus on simple, everyday things we often take for granted: the air filling my lungs, the sunshine on my cheek, the ability to connect with another human being.

For me, personally, a daily gratitude focus is so powerful. And studies show the impact of a consistent practice of gratitude speaking (or writing) on overall well-being.

Honestly, it’s such a simple thing. Your expression of gratitude can be spoken or written, or both. It can also be sketched or danced, I suppose. Main thing is to simply do it! Expressing gratitude ushers in health, growth, perspective and a greater humility.

Wrapping up

These two practices have made a huge difference in my life over this past year. They are simple and take a combined maximum total of 30 minutes each day. Of course, you can make it shorter or longer, depending upon your circumstances and needs.

But that small amount of invested time can lead to huge dividends in your mental, emotional and spiritual health.

You also have a record of your thoughts, feelings, and activities for the year.

Both journaling and intentional expressions of gratitude can lead to an improvement in your relationships as well — the spillover effect that, ultimately, adds to betterment in our world.

Aren’t you worth that much? Aren’t your relationships as well?

© 2019, Caroline DePalatis. All rights reserved.