how to work on yourself
By: Rija Qamar
Tags: Social Life, Love Yourself, Hope, Self Improvement, Self Love

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they get exhausted to the point that they want to give up. Nothing excites them anymore and they are just too tired to keep hoping that it will work. They start to believe that in the end it doesn’t even matter how far they have come, how much they put in it. That’s when our mind and our thoughts start getting negative. Sometimes it goes to the extreme level that we start getting suicidal thoughts. But the truth is, no one wants to die, we all just want to end our suffering. We want to kill what’s bothering us. Here I will show you how you can work on yourself and instead of trying to reach out or to find a hero, in the end you will become your own hero.

NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE:

Now i know this may seem a bit off a guard but this is the harsh reality we need to understand. Throughout our lives we were taught or at least we expected that when you are down you just need someone to hold you and bring you back up. But unfortunately that is not the case and due to this expectation when no one notices our suffering, it automatically brings us down even more as we think no cares what you are going through. Truth to be told in this lifetime everyone is going through a lot of pain in their way. Some might be vocal about it but most of the people just try to tackle it on their own. And that is exactly what we need to realize that just like we can’t understand what the other is going through in their own lives, they also can’t feel the pain we are going through. This is the first step where we realize that it’s ok if no one shows that they care, we should not let it bring us down.

2) STOP EXPECTING FROM OTHERS:

As it is said “your energy around you defines who you are and what you attract”. How can we expect others to come in our life and save us when we are not even willing to change ourselves? The point is when you try and to expect from others for little things such as appreciations, and it is not given to us, it shatters our hopes cuz in the end we were the one’s who had high expectations from others. Similarly If we dont love our self and always criticize ourselves, the others will pick your energy and start doing the same because since we had high expectations from them, their little words will tear our self esteem down. That is exactly why instead of looking for love and appreciation from others, we should love and appreciate our self and automatically the moment we start loving ourselves, we will start expecting less from others because then we dont need their words to bring us joy. Take an example of a mother. If a mother loves her baby no matter what the situation is, no matter what the world tells her to do or say about her child, she will never listen to their words. Instead she will protect her baby on her own saying “ I dont need the world to save her to protect her to praise her, I will be her guide, her love, her shield, her hope”. That is exactly who we are. We are our own guide, our own love, our own shield and our inner self is like our baby. The moment we decide to protect ourselves, We will never expect others to look out for us.

3)REGRET:

Let’s be honest here. No matter how many times we thought about ending our lives, in the end most of us didn’t have any courage to do so. Why? because there is a little tiny hope that one day it will work out and we will be happy. But honestly, close your eyes and ask yourself, do i really want to live my life like this? If I die tomorrow, will i be happy of what I have achieved? 20% of the people have said that they regret they wasted their years crying when they could have achieved so much if they could just believed they could achieve anything. We never know what the future awaits for us so live your life to the fullest and do what makes you happy. Life is too short for us to regret in the end and think if we could just go back in time and live it again.

Instead of making goals like what you want to be after 20 years, make little goals like what you want to be done by the end of this week. Yes big goals do motivate you to grind hard but little goals keep pushing you to achieve more. Let’s be honest. We all love it when we cross down little task that we wrote in our to do list. It gives us a sense of achievement and reminds us that we can achieve anything.

4) LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST whenever you feel burdened and feel overwhelmed, look what others are going through. Yes it may sounds ridiculous but trust me in the end when we see someone with a bigger problem, it makes us realize how small our problem is and how easily we can handle it. for example we might be crying about not getting the job we wanted, whereas someone else found out that they don’t have much time to live and they know they are going to leave their loved ones behind.

we all know it gets a little too overwhelming at times, but a little trust and faith in ourselves can change our lives for better.