4 Lessons I Learned From Sending 100 Christmas Cards That Will Make You Happier
By: James Ware
Tags: Happiness, Self Improvement, Writing, Christmas, Mindfulness

4 Lessons I Learned From Sending 100 Christmas Cards That Will Make You Happier James Ware Follow Dec 23 · 4 min read

“How do you address a Christmas card to the Queen?” Of all the things I’ve Googled in this most surreal of search years, this was perhaps the most unusual yet. Even the Queen will be lonely this Christmas, and for this reason she had made my Christmas card list, along with 99 others.

Normally, I don’t write a single Christmas card but if ever it felt fitting to send end-of-year tidings then it was in 2020. In a year that’s been so unclear, I decided to set myself a nice round target of 100 cards. Writing to whoever came to mind, whether because they had somehow improved my year or because I hadn’t connected with them in a while, the range of recipients is almost certainly the only ever list to contain the names of both my 95-year-old great aunt Auntie Win and David Guetta (unless she’s snuck to Ibiza for F*** Me I’m Famous without telling me). As I sat there writing each card, it became clear to me that there was some real value to this seasonal session, beyond just learning which is the best stretch to relieve hand cramp.

1. The Trouble With Tunnel Vision

Initially, this showed me quite how narrowing our terminal tunnel vision is. I would like to think of myself as a relatively considerate person who cares about others, but the reality is that I get so caught up day to day in my own perceived problems that I rarely think of those outside my immediate inner circle, even those I consider close friends. So, just setting myself up to call people to mind proved an excellent exercise, since it’s not something our minds are going to do of their own accord. And this year more than ever, it was abundantly clear that everyone’s been through a lot.

2. If You Want To Feel Less Lonely, Help Someone Else Feel Less Lonely

This also reinforced another of this year’s revelations: that isolation can be a self-reinforcing experience. When we don’t come into contact with anyone, we’re less likely to contact others. I certainly have experienced that recently when living and working at home on my own, that each day I don’t speak to anyone I become less inclined to reach out and start a conversation. But what the filter of loneliness blocks out is how happy to hear from us other people are. And all we have to do is to reach out to them. In this case, I thought that suddenly contacting some people I hadn’t spoken to all year out of the blue to get their addresses might get a mixed reception. But without exception everyone was delighted to be thought of. It’s certainly made me consider how I could incorporate this more into my regular routine. Sure, I probably won’t write to 100 people on a grey January day, but even sending one message a day to someone I haven’t spoken to recently feels like it would be enormously worthwhile.

3. The Power of Using Two Wonder Words: Thank You

The greatness of gratitude is something everyone has tried to harness in 2020. I’d read earlier in the year about how effective gratitude letters can be and was amazed how satisfying it is even just to write the words “THANK YOU” to someone you’re grateful to. From thanking one of my most supportive friends to the manager of my favourite Premier League soccer team, the very act of simply writing those words is more moving than you would expect.

4. To Feel Better, Do Something For Someone Who Has It Worse

83 cards in, I finally reached the stage where I began running out of ideas for recipients. Scanning my mental contacts, I suddenly thought of my college football groundsman, Barrie, who I hadn’t spoken to in years. There’s no way I would have just sat down to write to him, but completing his card I knew that he would be as happy to hear from me as all the other people combined. Feeling this, I began thinking of who else would most benefit just from receiving a simple card. Searching online, I found addresses for care homes appealing for cards for their residents. Writing to them, knowing that it would remind them that someone in the outside world was thinking of them felt richly rewarding. The video appealing for cards for 101-year-old John in Norfolk nearly moved me to tears. John had been married to his wife for 70 years before she died as a result of contracting Covid-19 earlier in the year. In the video, John admitted stirringly that “I do get lonely”. As I’m sure many messages he received told John, I felt to remind him that, “You are not alone”. This year has shown more than most that that’s all any of us really want to feel. And, as this experience showed me, paradoxically, one of the best ways of feeling that is reaching out to others.

Reach Out For Your Reward

So, if you’re looking to feel festive this crazy Christmas, when it’s rarely felt more difficult to do so, a rewarding recommendation is reaching out to even just one person. It may sound like a cliché, but it really will make your and their day.