Why I Regularly Watch My Boyfriend Having Sex with Other Women
By: Katy Rivers
Tags: Compersion, Relationships, Consensual Non Monogamy, Kink, Sex

I was in my early twenties when I discovered I could get off to my boyfriend having sex with other women. Here’s how that came about.

Two years into my first long-term relationship, my sex drive was at an all-time low. My partner at the time was understandably confused. We hadn’t been married for decades. We didn’t have childcare responsibilities. I wasn’t struggling with postpartum or post-menopausal hormone changes. Why, then, was our bedroom as dead as the contents of a casket?

I didn’t want to deprive my boyfriend of a physically intimate relationship. But neither did I want to force myself to have sex when I wasn’t feeling it. I mean, I tried that for a while — but it was about as fun as mopping the floor. Sex became a responsibility, like any other household chore. But that didn’t mean I looked forward to it.

My partner, being the loyal soul that he was, insisted he didn’t want to break up with me over my libido. But I knew our dry spell was taking a toll on him, so I considered suggesting he sleep with other women. One evening, while he was out drinking with friends, I asked myself how I’d feel if my lover had sex with someone else. The moisture in my panties told me all I needed to know. For the first time in months, I was wet.

“This is going to sound crazy,” I warned my boyfriend when he got home. “But I just made myself come imagining you having sex with another woman. I can’t remember the last time I felt this aroused… And I’m certain I’d love it if you made my fantasy a reality.”

At first, my tradition-loving, monogamous partner was aghast. But over the next few weeks, as we discussed my proposal, he began to warm to it. Initially, I didn’t even plan to be a voyeur. I was happy to let him bed someone else and fill me in on the dirty details afterward so I could get off. But my boyfriend wanted us to stay connected before, after, and during the encounter. It was his idea to have me watch his sexcapades. That would be better for our bonding, he felt.

“If you’re turned on by the thought of me with someone else, I want you to be present when I bed them,” he insisted. “I wouldn’t feel right if you weren’t there.” I have to admit that made me feel special. How could I turn down an exclusive sex show performed, in part, for my benefit?

It took us another month to find him a lover who felt comfortable with such an unusual setup. But when we did… My God, did fireworks fly!

It was more exhilarating than any porn I’ve ever watched. I saw my boyfriend in an entirely new light. His seduction of — and attraction to — another woman made him more enticing in my eyes. I loved seeing her face contort in pleasure as he sucked her nipples. It felt incredible knowing my man was giving her such delicious sensations.

Hearing his animalistic groans as he thrust into her turned me on, too. He was satisfying his desires without me, but I wasn’t insulted by that. I was actually excited by the thought that he could enjoy sex with others. I loved seeing him so horny, virile and lust-crazed. The harder and faster he fucked his lover, the more furiously I masturbated. And when he spilled his seed into her, I climaxed as well.

By then, I was on cloud nine and I knew I’d discovered my new favorite form of sex. Had the pair of them not looked so sated, I would have suggested they go for round two. But I let it go, knowing they’d enjoy round two (and three, and four and beyond) in the weeks and months to come.

After a few years, my then-boyfriend and I split amicably because he got a job in a different country. But I’ll always be grateful to him for his open-mindedness. He gave me my first taste of consensual voyeurism, and that’s a gift I can never forget.

As for his lover, I remain close with her to this day. We’ve never fallen out, or felt jealous of each other. She’s in an open relationship herself. And she was totally comfortable being my ex-boyfriend’s sexual partner while I was his romantic one.