Arguments I’ve Heard Against Interracial Relationships
By: A.M. Cal
Tags: Relationship Advice, Interracial Relationships, Christian Living, Relationships, Relationships Love Dating

Arguments I’ve Heard Against Interracial Relationships

Debunking simple claims with simple, biblical logic

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We live in the 21st century. We are a progressive society that embraces new ideas, change, and justice, yet certain social stigmas remain. The topic of interracial/intercultural dating and marriage is still taboo for some families.

As I’ve pursued education at a Christian university, my own perspective has become solidified, and I now see that many of the following arguments made by others during my formative years don’t have much footing.

I may not know everything, but I do have a Bible minor which I believe qualifies me to lend some insight against four misinformed statements I’ve heard in the past.

“The Bible Argues Against It”

This blanket statement is the easiest one to grasp for, though I can safely say it has no biblical backing. Much of the time, people take what might be accurate in historical context and distort it, using verses such as Deuteronomy 7, which warned the Israelites not to intermarry with Canaanites.

But this has nothing to do with race and everything to do with the fact that God did not want the Israelites to worship idols like those from Canaan. The issue here is idol worship and separating oneself from God the Father, not marrying someone of a different tribe.

“The Bible Says Not to Be Unequally Yoked”

Yes, the Bible does say this in 2 Corinthians 6:14, but much like the previous verse, this one is often taken out of context. The passage says, “do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” God’s law is very clear in stating that we are not to intermarry with those who do not believe in Christ, but again, this has nothing to do with race.

The most important thing in any Christian marriage or dating relationship is that you be willing to sacrifice your own needs for the other and follow Christ as your Savior. That’s it. It’s easier said than done as we are subject to our own folly and sin, but Christ at the center of a relationship will provide growth and help to alleviate certain issues. We should even steer clear from making our own partner an idol, remembering that we are God’s children first and foremost.

“The Background Differences Will Cause Friction, Especially When You Have Children”

Marriage is a struggle and not for the faint of heart no matter what the circumstance. Furthermore, no relationship is without flaws. That’s because to be human is to be flawed. When you choose to dedicate your life to someone, you are choosing to accept them for who they are, imperfections and all. Love and commitment is a choice. You must recognize that you and your partner will not have everything in common as you are two different people with your own, unique perspectives.

You must decide if the differences are things you can work through or if they are absolute deal breakers (and I’m talking, legitimate red flags). If both of you are dedicated Christians who are in it for the long haul, nothing is impossible. Differences at the forefront, cultural or otherwise, create opportunity for understanding.

You and your partner should be able to celebrate each other’s cultural differences and you’ll have an abundance to teach your children. While cultural identity is inherent to one’s life, as Christians, our faith identity is what matters most. The differences shouldn’t be too much of a factor with children as long as you and your partner share mutual respect and compromise. What’s most important is that the two of you have the same moral compass and values when it comes to raising children.

“You will lose your identity”

This is just a cop out and often something people who are afraid of commitment say. The same could be said for women in general, as women usually take the last name of their husband as part of tradition (although people do combine last names or choose to take the bride’s last name instead). When two people marry, they take on a new identity, becoming “one flesh” as God intended.

They are both united in the Holy Spirit, under God’s law. Marrying someone of a different cultural background does not omit one’s individual identity. While Christians who marry are considered “one” spiritually, they are still two, unique individuals. But the whole point of marriage is to die to oneself, and vowing to serve the other just as Christ died for us. The whole point is not to lose our identity, but to take on a new one for the sake of a fruitful future, deeply rooted in Christ.