Am I cheap? Understanding the energy of money
By: Kayus Fernander
Tags: Money, Positive Energy, Budget, Money Management, Enjoying Life

It flows in the direction of where it is wanted.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

It’s one of those things that nobody wants to be called. I was looking at this pair of shoes for work, because I REALLY needed a new pair (my current ones had started to squeak — no, not a good look or sound). The pair in my hand were gorgeous — beautiful black leather, good sole, the shape that I like — all good.

Then I look inside where the price was apparently waiting to surprise me. My eyes widened. My partner saw my eyes widen. The sales clerk saw my eyes widen. I think the whole store HEARD my eyes widen. I cleared my throat. Phil knew what that meant and rolled his eyes in frustration. “Kayus, don’t be cheap” he blurted out.

That word stung me. “I’m not cheap, I’m frugal”, I responded defensively. He might as well have called me an uncultured buffoon. I put the shoes down, thanked the sales clerk for her time and walked off in a sulk. “Am I….cheap?”

Ah, you beauties! It just wasn’t meant to be. Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

The question haunted me and I searched my mental catalogue of expenditures for evidence to the contrary. Those concert tickets last year were NOT cheap. And that dinner at that nice restaurant — did you SEE the bill? And what about those Christmas and birthday presents I bought for people over the years? But as I thought about it, the truth dawned on me that every time I went to spend money, I felt this pang of hesitation.

Was I spending too much? Could I get this for less? Do I really need this? It’s a constant battle. Can you relate to this? I’ve read that people are either in 1 of 2 camps when it comes to spending: either 1) they buy what they want and worry about the cost later, if at all OR 2) they think long and hard about what they spend their money on and only buy what they think they can afford. I think that I’m definitely in the second category, but I take it a step further: I only want to buy what I think I will get some pleasure or utility from over a long period of time.

So for example, I would prioritise a pair of good jeans over something super trendy. Or I’d rather buy a piece of good kitchen equipment (like a juicer) over a fancy meal every weekend. There’s just something about frivolous spending that makes me uncomfortable.

But the flip side of this, is that I tend to miss out or undervalue things that really add to my life. One big example of this is holidays (or vacations, for my American readers). Because I’m based in London and I have friends and relatives all over the world, there is always an opportunity to jump on the plane and go somewhere interesting — and I absolutely love experiencing new places and cultures (my social media can attest to this!) BUT booking a ticket is like the HARDEST THING for me to do!

I just think, “how can I justify spending so much on a flight and accommodations?” In those moments, I think of all the obligations that I have and I hesitate. And this hesitation has caused friction and irritation over the years, where people just assume that I’m being the c-word: CHEAP!

In my mind, they’re being frivolous and in their minds, I don’t want to let go of my hard-earned cash. And in some ways, they have been right. So, it’s this dilemma that I want to address.

“This has been a difficult lesson for me, but I have come to accept that there is such a thing as a scarcity mindset, and being cheap is just an outcome, a byproduct of that. Cheapness says to the world that I have a limited expectation and limited capacity for abundance and to enjoy my wealth.”

What I’ve come to learn over the years, in particular the last 5 years or so, is that money is energetic. Just like anything else, it responds to energy, either positively or negatively.

For instance, I am a firm believer and witness of the fact that people who speak negatively about money, tend to be unable to make or keep more of it. Their words, such as “I’m broke” or “I only need enough to get by” literally REPELS money, because their words are a reflection of their internal dialogue and belief system about abundance.

As a result, money “sees” this as a negative environment, and therefore has no reason to flow in that direction. Conversely, those who have cultivated a mindset of abundance, seem to find opportunities all around them to attract money. The key word here is ATTRACT!

Wealthy people are those who are able to attract wealth to themselves again and again. Everyone is familiar with the adage that the rich just seem to get richer, while everyone else gets poorer or at best, just continue to make ends meet. The big difference between the wealthy and everyone else, is that wealthy people have an expectation and belief that money should come their way. They have absolutely no doubt about it — and this absence of doubt creates a fertile energetic environment, to which money WANTS to flow.

And so, as a result, these people know how to enjoy their abundance, with the full knowledge that they have more of it coming. It’s like when you turn on the shower and step underneath. You get all lathered up, because you fully expect water to continue to flow and it does! This is what it feels like to have an abundance mindset and it’s the only way to create a positive enough energy that attracts money to your existence.

But, like anything else, money responds to being respected. Think about it, if you have a friend that you bad-mouth, or take advantage of, or take for granted EVERY SINGLE TIME they come around, how long do you think they will continue to visit or stay with you? Not long at all. And this is exactly how money is.

Abusing your wealth, not being responsible with it and treating it with respect is a sure recipe for telling your money that it isn’t welcome. What do I mean by this? Not paying your bills on time. Defaulting on loans from companies (and worse) or personal loans. Overspending because you can. Not saving or investing for the future. All of these behaviours are equally as negative as a scarcity mindset, because they create a negative energy that only has one result. Money will be REPELLED from you.

So what am I supposed to do? On the one hand, I don’t want to live in a mindset of scarcity and on the other hand, I don’t want to be irresponsible with my earnings. Well, like anything, it’s all about balance.

It is possible, and I think absolutely necessary to take care of your financial future with forward planning AND to build into that plan, the ability to enjoy your money. I have found that using a budget to target where every single pound (or dollar) of my earnings goes, gives me the assurance that I am taking care of my savings, investment and future goals, while allowing myself the freedom to enjoy my life.

You see, a budget is one of the best ways (if not THE best way), to give yourself the confidence to develop and live within an abundance mindset, because you’re being proactive in making sure that you are taking care of yourself. Trust me, if you are struggling with money, a budget is going to be a big life-saver. I can tell you, it has worked for me and continues to work for millions of people all over the world.

What has been your experience with spending? Do you consider yourself cheap? Do you spend without much thought? Or are you somewhere in between? Do you believe that money has energy, and how has this played out in your life or in the lives of others?