7 Horrible Work from Home Tips You Should Definitely Ignore
By: Charlotte Di Placido
Tags: Work From Home, Sarcastic, Humor, Tips And Tricks, Lockdown

In 2019, around 30% of the UK’s adult population reported experiencing working from home . By 2020 that percentage had doubled, with UK’s adult population working from home since the COVID-19 lockdowns.

I had been a full-time remote worker for five months before lockdowns began, so I found myself dipping into the articles about “tips” when I saw them and taking some mental notes. In hindsight, that was an error in judgment. Wading through what to do, what not to do, and what you should wear only fuelled the pressure cooker that was stuck on the “am I doing this correctly?” setting. Stepping back now, it is clear to see that there isn’t a one size fits all rule for homeworking, just like there isn’t if you were in a physical workplace.

It got me thinking. What can I do to help people not get overwhelmed with all the advice and rules offered to create the perfect work from home balance? After thinking very little, I settled on finding some examples of work from home tips to mock publicly and then round that off by telling you what you should do.

Structure your day like you are in the office

The thought process behind this one is clear. Keep the structure and carry on as normal in order to not give yourself the opportunity to notice that everything’s changed. But you’re not in the office, and everything has changed. Structuring your day like you’re in the office now doesn’t make sense. You don’t need to set off at 7.40 to get to work for 9.00 anymore, so by using this logic, you wake up at the same time but just sit there? You could wake up at the same time but do something productive like the gym! But we all know what you’re actually going to do. Stay in bed longer. We don’t blame you for it.

Use laundry as a work timer

Setting yourself a target deadline per task is useful if that is how you work effectively. But using the washing machine as a timer is probably the single most depressing “tip” I’ve ever heard. Picture the scene, after you’ve finished updating the team spreadsheet for an hour and a half, you hear a jingle coming from downstairs. You scurry down to see what all the fuss is about, and there it is-your prize in its glory. You get to take your washing out and hang it all up!

Keep the TV on in the background

For background noise, perhaps, but it can’t be anything remotely interesting otherwise, you risk losing hours, so what’s the point? Safe shows would include Traffic Cops and a personal favourite, Can’t Pay We’ll Take It Away, just to remind yourself of what might happen if you don’t get on and do your work at some point. And god help you if you get sucked into a COVID-19 24-hour news cycle, and you’re already feeling anxious.

Have a separate home office

Create the workspace away from where you relax if you can, but you surely can’t just tell people to ‘have another room’. You can’t whip yourself up a new room in a one-bed flatshare in the middle of Birmingham. I’ll file this one under, “maybe if people stopped buying Sky TV and cigarettes, they wouldn’t be poor.”

Work with a buddy

Unless it is someone you live with, the idea of a buddy system kind of falls through when you’re working from home explicitly to stay away from people. Also, you are perfectly capable of working alone. The main reasons being that you’re not 8 years old and the perk of not being around colleagues means that you don’t have to celebrate everyone’s birthday with a thin, dry, slice of Victoria sponge. Bonus.

Dress the part

Steve Jobs once said that “the first step in having a productive day is getting dressed out of your jim-jams.”

Okay, he didn’t, but you believed it for a second, and that’s what counts. Wearing pajamas all day is the equivalent of wearing a large neon sign above your head that says, “to let: black clouds wanted.” However, catch me wearing full office attire with a face of makeup and going as far as to choosing shoes — you will not. Comfort is king, but at least brush your teeth, you animal.

Join a forum of others who work from home

Never do this. Never ever do this. What do you get when everyone is an expert, and no opinion can be wrong? A headache. Some people will say that these tips work, and some people will feel slightly nauseous at the thought of having the TV on while they’re trying to do something. Ultimately, the best tip is to do what you need to do to make sure you get your work done and not lose your mind.

If all else fails, just remember the one cardinal rule, shared by Reddit user and upcoming poet laureate, u/I-still-want-Bernie — “wear pants in case your webcam fails.”