Four Sexy Lingerie Looks He Doesn’t Deserve
Tags: Satire, Humor, Sex, Feminism, Comedy

Four Sexy Lingerie Looks He Doesn’t Deserve Stav Follow Oct 24 · 3 min read

30 dollar tights he will rip off and destroy even though they will rip on their own anyways the second time you wear them

By Stav

@your__crush__

We love lingerie, a kind of clothing a very select portion of the population will likely ever see you wear! Good thing this very select portion of the population that gets to see your lingerie absolutely doesn’t deserve it!

In any case, if you’re looking for the next look that will wow the complete asswipe you shouldn’t be fucking but are, look no further than this carefully constructed list of lingerie looks he doesn’t deserve!

Victoria’s Secret V-String Panty: This deluxe V-String Panty ($29.99 USD even though you’ll still see the outlines of these panties stick out when you wear leggings) from Victoria’s Secret provides a confidence that’s truly sexy, a sexiness that no man deserves access to!

Wear this next time you see him even though there’s a 70 percent chance he’s going to cancel a half-hour before (i.e. after you have already done your makeup) because “something came up” or “oops, I forgot lol.”

Available in multiple colors and patterns, which he thinks are all stupid because there’s definitely some internalized misogyny permanently clogged up in that guy’s brain matter. Anyways, do you want some dick or not?

[ONLINE EXCLUSIVE] La Senza Push Up Lace Merrywidow:

He ignored your texts for days on end and definitely subtweeted you last week, yet you’re still going to wear this $59.95 Push Up Lace Merrywidow by La Senza for him the next time he invites himself over.

With a combination lace and mesh body that’s going to get fucked up in the washing machine anyways, a built-in push-up bra that almost fits you, and a flirty criss-cross detail to-boot, this beautiful piece will ensure that you’re absolutely doing way too much for someone who doesn’t give a shit about you!

(Hopefully your room is clean and your roommate won’t be home as he says he’s coming over in a half-hour.)

Metallic Lace Teddy By Savage X Fenty: Sure, you should dump him, but if you do, who’s going to see you in this expensive $84 ass set from Savage X Fenty? At least you’ll still look hot fucking someone Rihanna would never approve of (he’s won’t even go down on you, this is pathetic) with this sexy Metallic Lace Teddy!

Temperance Contour Set by Adore Me: If we’re being honest, he’s not even going to notice this beautiful two-piece lingerie set by Adore Me. If he somehow does notice it, it’s because he plans to ask if he can physically rip it off as if it wasn’t $59.95 and something you may care a lot about!

Oh wait, he didn’t ask and just decided to go ahead and rip it without asking “because he thought it would be hot,” which means that this lingerie set was just ruined by someone who’s going to cum in two minutes. See, he doesn’t deserve it! What are you even doing?

This set is available in black, red, or blue, all of which will show from underneath the outfit you were hoping to wear tonight.

No man on earth should ever be allowed to see the light of day of any of these looks. As someone who ordered and is wearing the Victoria’s V-String Panty right now, however, I am confident you’re going to buy them all anyways!

(FYI these panties are pretty comfy, but I’m still concerned they’re going to give me a yeast infection. I can keep you posted on what happens with these if you want before you buy them.)