9 Reasons the Campaign to Ban Listicles Must be Celebrated
By: Greg Twemlow
Tags: Publishing, Writing, Journalism

Everyone enthusiastically discusses listicles

9 Reasons the Campaign to Ban Listicles Must be Celebrated

A portmanteau of “list” and “article”, listicles are incredibly popular and have saturated Internet publishing since about 2009 but were widely used for at least 100 years prior to 2009.

In fact, we are abused by listicles in mainstream journalism too.

Ranked lists are a mainstay of digital content publishing and can be found on most sites — from independent blogs to global media sites. For years, content publishers and online marketers have used ranked lists to drive traffic to their websites. Lists are highly shareable via social media, and other blogs and websites frequently write about and link to lists in their own content. All of those shares and incoming links not only drive traffic to the original list on the publisher’s site, but they also increase the authority of the publisher’s site, which can increase its rankings in Google search results.

Long story short, listicles get page views that publishers need to generate advertising revenue. But why are lists so popular? Sites like BuzzFeed have achieved great success constantly publishing “listicles” that rank anything and everything. The quality of the lists varies as much as the topics, but people continue to read, share, and link to them.

The really BIG problem with social media listicles is they hijacked the original concept of ranked-lists and became an enabler for amateur journalists to garner views.

To be fair there’s genuine value in reading an article by a professional film critic that explains why the top 10 movies of 2020 got such wide viewership.

Contrast that with how a bizdev guy at a small wealth manager can pitch a 10-step listicle on how to fast-track your wealth: https://www.chan-naylor.com.au/top-10-reasons-to-join-us-at-wealth-retreat-this-year/.

Financial Times writer Simon Schama described Umberto Eco's book, The Infinity of Lists, as a delight and gave us “27 Reasons Why the Book was a Must-Read”. Umberto’s lists ranged from ancient Greek poet, Hesiod’s list of the progeny of gods, to French renaissance writer, Rabelais’ list of bottom wipes. Simon Schama’s 27 reasons to read The Infinity of Lists:

profuse, plethoric, prolix, plentiful, playful, populous, picaresque, picturesque, copious, cornucopian, congested, clotted, incontinent, infested, infectious, omnivorous, orgiastic, odd, abundant, redundant, multifarious, multitudinous, glutted, gargantuan, inclusive, elusive, and… exhaustive.

Given the attention span of the average human, we might well wonder why any listicle extends beyond about “3” of anything. I challenge you to repeat a listicle of more than 3, even within an hour of reading it.

Authors know that when they publish in listicle format, it will be skim-read at best. The headline that offers “9 Property Management Checklists to Keep Your Rental Processes on Track” won’t actually be read, it will at best be scanned by scrolling down to the list and deciding within about 3–5 seconds whether the list has any value.

Thing is, that scan-read still ranks as a click and a view. Valuable statistics for the author.

Makes you wonder why any self-respecting writer would EVER publish a listicle. Sure, the headline could be clickbait, but the readership of such articles is of limited value. Thing is, the readership of your listicle, is unlikely to be erudite.

We typically use the word rude to mean “discourteous” or “uncouth” but it can also mean “lacking refinement” or “uncivilized”; someone who is erudite, therefore, has been transformed from a roughened or uninformed state to a polished and knowledgeable one through devotion to learning.

That’s a great test; will your listicle take the reader closer to erudition?

Subjective lists contrast with the value of objective lists, but nevertheless, they can be valuable particularly as an element in a suite of documentation that supports or discredits a basis for the need for a decision, like the folks in the cartoon below.

As for why listicles are so popular to produce, there are a few reasons (aside from their popularity with audiences):

They’re easy to plan and write

Each listicle written feels like an achievement

Lists are great for targeting core keywords

Smaller listicles can be adapted to suit long-tail keywords

Updates are easier to make

Listicles are easier to plan and write than traditional articles because the author doesn’t have to worry so much about the order of their points.

Yet professionally curated lists that are well researched and authoritatively validated clearly provide value to the reader.

Contrast that with listicles that have no or minimal basis in terms of valid research and are merely a reflection of a subjective and biased author with an often dubious motivation.

And, so with no further delay, I present you with my, 9 Reasons the Campaign to Ban Listicles Must be Celebrated and why you can ignore about 95% of listicle stories:

there is questionable Quality Control of list articles, in fact, listicles are rarely fact-checked it’s generally agreed that at least 80% of the authors of listicles are total amateurs, and a listicle is the easiest form of written content, thereby attracting a certain kind of author most listicles contain at least “10” in the headline and are impossible to remember there is a better than even-money chance the listicle author is creating content that supports a specific, paid SEO campaign the publisher is likely to be sourcing low-cost or free content to bulk-up their otherwise skimpy professionally written content listicles almost always cloak their subjectivity in vague ways, like, “research shows 15 ways to clean your bathroom tiles”, with the top 1 of the 15 being paid for by an advertiser no self-respecting writer would ever stoop to publish a listicle unless it’s based on objective research and can be readily validated listicles are generally designed for sharing in order to enhance the distribution and engagement statistics

Still reading? What Do You Think?

Are you still an avid consumer of listicles?

By all means, keep an open mind, but just know that the great majority of listicles are total junk designed to steal your valuable time and trick you into sharing the list with your network.

And now you may well ask, “how do I support the campaign to ban listicles”?

Well, truth be told, this article and my 9-item listicle are entirely fake.

That doesn’t mean the idea is without merit.

I just need you to share this with your network and maybe together we can make the campaign a reality.

All I need is a splash page and a sign-up form. Standby. It’s coming soon.

P.S. Why a 9 Item Listicle

In French the word neuf means both nine and new. In German, the words for nine and new are neun and neu, and in Spanish, nueve and nuevo. As you count and reach nine, you know you are about to make a new start. 9 is composed of the all-powerful 3x3. Buddhist tradition holds nine to be the supreme spiritual power, and a celestial number. It is 3x3 being the most auspicious of all the numbers.

About the Author:

Greg Twemlow is a Sydney-based Social Enterprise Founder | Startup Mentor | CEO | Writer | Speaker | Host of https://medium.com/consilio