Looking Back: The Story Behind My Success
By: Miguel Miranda
Tags: Mental Health, Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Inspiration, Beyourself

I received my Certificate from the University of Manchester conferring me a First-Class degree in Economics & Politics last month, and so, only recently did I take my graduation photos to officially celebrate it.

Here’s my story: When I was a child, I used to be beaten up at school almost every day just because I was different from most other boys. I was smart, quiet outside of the classroom, and not physically strong. I asked for help to my teacher, school assistants, parents, grandparents, friends, you name it, but no one ever cared enough to help me. I enjoyed school, but one day I told my parents that I did not want to go any more because of the bullying I constantly suffered. Nevertheless, my father forced me to go regardless, and so, I could never escape this hell. At the time, I felt that if I fought back, I would be fuelling an endless cycle of violence and potentially legitimising their posterior attacks. If one day I ended up in the hospital, they could say that I had also beaten them up, had started first, etc. (there were no cameras on the school precincts). And even if I fought back, I always felt that I would lose anyway because not only were the bad boys physically stronger than me, but they were also always in groups when they attacked me, and therefore, in much greater number than just myself. As a result of that, I got a lifelong trauma which led me to get very close to attempting suicide in the past.

I am originally from Portugal and when I finished High School, I decided unilaterally to move abroad to study at a world top university. Many people around me, including in my family, were against that and even tried to dissuade me from leaving by saying things like ‘He must be crazy, for sure’ or ‘You will never make it on your own’. But I did. At the age of 19, I left my country and everything I had behind, apart from a backpack, a piece of luggage and around 2000€ (all the money I had saved throughout my childhood). I came to the UK without having any relative or friend already living in here. I worked full-time for the first two years just to save money, and then, worked two part-time jobs whilst doing my degree to always support myself. These were 6 years in total where I was always on my own in a new country.

So, if you have somebody in your family or know of someone who has been suffering, or has suffered, from severe bullying for a long time, then please pass them a message which I wish someone had told me when I started being bullied as a child (although this is a message that perhaps only them will fully understand). If this can inspire at least one kid and prevent them from attempting/committing suicide one day, then everything I wrote has already been worth it:

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Fight back and stand up for yourself, no matter how ‘impossible’ it seems to you, because if you don’t, nine times out of ten no one else will, and you will end up later, like me, regretting it every single day for the rest of your life. You have read it right, looking back now, I would have rather run the risk of dying in a fist fight whilst standing up for myself at the time, than to live for the rest of my life with the permanent regret of having repeatedly failed to defend myself; to protect myself from the systematic humiliations I had to go through and the resulting effect of feeling a coward that will always haunt me wherever I go. This is because what prolonged and severe bullying will take away from you in the end is something very difficult to recover (though not impossible) which is your self-respect. This, in turn, will take at least a few decades, if not a lifetime, and even then, nothing is ever guaranteed. Despite that, even if you just cannot do it and are a loser now, it does not mean you will be a loser forever. Things change ‘as long as you give them a chance to’ (Professor Green). Work hard to be successful in something that matters to you; have focus and perseverance to fulfil your dreams, no matter what other people say to try to hold you back. That is the only way I have found to survive, to keep on living, by believing I may one day be able to fully restore the respect I once lost for myself. And if one day you manage to become a winner, like me today, when you get there, look back and pay tribute to your younger self, because you could only get this far because you survived your worst moment in life in the first place. This moment should be dedicated to that.

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Finally, I would also like to pay tribute to all the kids around the world who die every day at the hands of Bullying. Some examples include the stories of Daniel Fitzpatrick, Roger Trindade and Amanda Todd who either committed suicide to escape this hell or were killed by the bullies. I am no different from them, perhaps just a bit luckier for still being alive.