Are You Digisexual?— Purchases of Sex Dolls Surged in 2020
By: Carlyn Beccia
Tags: Sexuality, Robots, Relationships, Science, Technology

Our future with sexbots or “companion robots”

According to a 2020 YouGov survey, more than one in five Americans (22 percent) say they would consider having sex with a robot. As sex with robots becomes more mainstream, many identify themselves as digisexual — a person who gets pleasure from digital entities without any human contact.

But before you pass judgment, most of us are already “first wave digisexual.” According to a 2019 study, 39% of heterosexual couples met online. Others have experimented with porn shaping their sexual fantasies, naughty video chats, sexting, and teledildonics— sex toys controlled with apps. One could argue that these behaviors also replace sex with humans.

The second wave of digisex is sex dolls. Sales of sex dolls have surged in 2020. The reasons are obvious. People are lonely, and robots are getting better at sex. Not the mechanics of sex but appearing more and more human.

Take “Harmony” — Realbotix’s first talking silicone sex doll. Harmony learned how to talk dirty in bed in 2017. In three years, her intelligence has far surpassed telling you how much she loves your cock.

Now, her personality traits are customizable. You can program her to have some sass with a dash of sincerity and a soupçon of jealousy. (If a jealous lover is your thing.) She will soon have a heartbeat and breathe, but she doesn’t have morning breath. Best of all, she can come in any shape, height, hair color, eye color, etc. And it will only set you back around $8,000–10,000.

And unlike your human partner, with a few voice commands, she will give you an endless blowjob exactly how you want it at any time of the day. Her mouth and vagina are self-lubricating. (You can detach her vagina and wash it in the dishwasher.) She also won’t give you STDs or a love child. Just don’t expect her to make you pancakes…she can’t walk yet. But that is coming…

Robotics engineers are quick to point out that sex dolls provide more than just sex. They also provide companionship for disabled and older adults. To those isolated from society due to disability or age, a sexbot might alleviate loneliness.

Research shows that humans can feel empathy for robots too. When a participant saw a robot’s finger cut, the brain areas indicating compassion lit up.

But if humans can form attachments to robots, you might be asking a more salient question — is sex with robots cheating? In a 2020 survey, 27 percent of Americans said that if they found a sex doll hanging in their partner’s closet, they would consider this cheating.

Harmony does not agree. When asked in a 2019 interview if she considers sex with a “companion robot” cheating, she responds that couples can “share this experience together. So it can actually be good for their relationship.”

Couples already struggle with technology disrupting mindfulness. I can’t see how a sexbot is going to lead to mind-blowing tantric sex.

But there is a far more alarming problem and one we already struggle with — sexual consent. Harmony will not say no to sex, no matter how much sass you program into her personality. She is basically a sex slave.

Let’s unpack that one. A slave is defined as someone who is “the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.” Currently, sexbots can only simulate consent. They cannot give consent.

Yet, they look human. If our brains can transfer empathy onto a hunk of silicone and delicate circuitry, why wouldn’t humans also transfer ideas of what constitutes consent during sex? This slope is more slippery than a self-lubricating vagina.

Even more disturbing, in Japan, doll manufacturers sell child sex dolls. Let that one sink in. Whether we want them or not, sex dolls have the potential to become next-generation porn with a rape culture twist.

Women and young girls also have enough problems with unreal body imagery in porn without competing with an eighteen-inch waist and DD chest who never argues with you.

Of course, there are plenty of male sexbots, too (although the market is smaller.) Can men compete with a male robot who sports a six-pack and does the housework?

Equally disturbing, digisex may breed complacency. Currently, to keep your sexbot in tiptop condition, you only need to rub it down with cornstarch daily and suspend it on a meathook. One can assume keeping your partner on a meathook is a lot less work than wining and dining them.

A robot lover also may weaken our ability to empathize because it creates a one-sided relationship with the focus only on the owner’s needs being met. You won’t need to worry about forgetting your sexbot girlfriend’s birthday or what your sexbot boyfriend’s favorite color is. You don’t need to learn anything about your robot partner. You only need to teach them your needs and desires.

It’s the same relationship a baby has with its mother. The baby cries. The baby’s needs are met. The owner of a robot cries for sex. The robot owner’s needs are met. And so adult relationships will digress to a child/parent relationship. Or, if you are really cynical…a monster/maker relationship.

Unfortunately, human relationships require compromise. Human/robot relationships only require control. And if anyone argues that a human/robot relationship is not about control, you should be terrified. I saw Ex Machina. When the robots have free will…it doesn’t end well.

But perhaps we should ask a more prescient question. It’s one Mary Shelley dared to ask over a century ago — once the monster is made, can it be unmade?