Do you love yourself?
By: Lee Jones-Fraser
Tags: Parenthood, Fatherhood, Mental Health, Coaching, Entrepreneurship

Do you love yourself?

It’s a question I have had in the back of my mind for some time

It was also a question that was asked of me recently

If I’m being completely honest…

The answer is no.

This photo right here, triggered a lot of emotion deep inside me

It was an accidental pic… One of those random pics you take while fiddling with your phone

The minute I saw it I closed it down

I couldn’t look at it.

In that moment it came up, all I could see was my father

Right at the point he became really sick. Mentally. Physically…

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be different from him.

I wanted to be everything he was not

Even my mother used to say to me ‘you’re just like your Dad’

Which used to really frustrate me! It used to make me angry

To the point that anger would manifest itself in tense muscles… Raised heartbeat, churning gut

And holding onto that anger, that frustration, those powerful emotions

Brought me closer to being just like him

Much closer…

So then I decided I needed to keep this picture as a reminder

A reminder of what happens when you don’t look after the big things in life

Your physical health

Your mental health

Your emotional health

Your spiritual health

By taking on so much

You spread yourself thin… Really thin

You lack the ability to see yourself slipping into a deeper hole each day

Like fatigue, it’s insidious…

Until you are shown the warning signs of something more serious on the horizon

Constant niggles and injuries in the body

Lingering and intrusive thoughts preventing your ability to focus and be present…

Relationships turning stale…

Feeling low on connection with the people closest to your heart

These are all signs of something more insidious looming around the corner

See here’s the thing…

What you put out into the universe… You receive back

Everything you put out has a frequency. It’s been measured and quantified

It’s very real…

You can have everything you want

But

It starts with the inner work. Firstly acknowledging where you are now

And where you want to be

You don’t have to sacrifice your relationships to be ‘successful’

What ever that looks like for you. You don’t have to break your body

Or your mind to have the health you want

The world has this illusion that in order to be ‘successful’ and to have it ALL

There has to be this sacrifice. This trade off.

Bullshit!

It isn’t so. I’ve been looking outside for external validation.

The vast majority of us do

You don’t need it. The real work is inside you.

Start there

Once you do, you will begin too see that prioritising these 4 key things in life

Will give you the life you truly desire

But..

You have to be open too it. You have to open your heart

Opening up again and sharing your true self is fucking hard

Especially if you’ve been closed off for a while.

I have been… I’ve withdrawn myself. I’ve shit myself off

Admitting this is confronting, but it’s also the way forward

If you’ve had this lingering feeling… If this resonates with you in any way I’m grateful

If it forces you to peel away the layers in your life and take an objective view to within

I am grateful…

Start there. And if this is something you know and love needs to hear

Share it with them. Pull them out of that dark place before shit starts really going south for them…

Their physical health

Their mental health

Their emotional health

Their spiritual health

Lee