The Joys of an Unfinished Life
By: Kingston Celine
Tags: Lifestyle, Creativity, Purpose, Life Lessons, Self-awareness

Photo by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash

Life is one endless work of art. The greatest one you will have the good fortune to work on. Why shouldn’t it be? Every day we wake up with a fresh canvas to leave our mark on. Whatever we want. Whatever strikes our fancy. Yesterday we might have decided we were deeply solemn academics but today, today we are daring explorers. I love the quote by Walt Whitman, “Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)” We don’t take up nearly the amount of space in the world we are meant to. We trade possibility for the semblance of certainty. I’ll be the first to tell you that I love order. Truly, I can plan and organize with the best of them but there’s a fine line between trying to plan for an inherently unpredictable future and limiting our prospects.

In order to be successful we are told we must choose. Doctor, lawyer, accountant, what say you but we must choose. In choosing, most of us quickly adhere to a standard and our preconceived notions become our realities: accountants are predictable, doctors must have all the answers, and you’re either born an artist or you’re not. Whatever parts of ourselves that don’t fit this narrative are cut out or hidden away. It’s an easy route to take. When we don’t know who we are we willingly accept whatever definition will let us ignore the cracks in our psyche. Why struggle through trying to figure out the messy path of living authentically if there’s already a paved road?

When we don’t know who we are we willingly accept whatever definition will let us ignore the cracks in our psyche.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with choosing any of the professions I just mentioned, not if it’s truly where you’ll find joy. What I don’t like is the inherent limitation of tying our efforts to such a narrow perspective. It’s choosing an “or” mentality when life has shown us we are meant for “both, and.” The internet will tell you that you should have 5 hobbies: one to make you money, one to keep you creative, one to build knowledge, one to evolve mindset, and one to keep you in shape. What I’m saying is choose however many you want. Take up as many things as your soul calls out to. If it brings you joy, have at it.

Why don’t we though? Why do we insist that we are content to limit ourselves? Too often it’s because we think that we have to be subjectively good at doing anything in order to be worthy of enjoying it. That is the tragedy and the idea I want us to leave behind. If we’re ever to live fulfilling lives and find our purpose we need to leave behind the idea that we’re not multi passionate people. That a single road or plan for our entire lives is a good deal. Wherever we are in our journey we can choose to make our lives wide and accept that creativity is part of our internal circuitry. If for no other reason than that the endless amounts of energy sitting inside us wants out. Curiosity and exploration is what humanity is wired for.

I’ve always been the curious type. I ask enough questions to just brush up against the obnoxious sensor in most people. I do it because everything is a wonder. I’ve accepted that the making of my life is never complete and given myself permission to entertain every idea that seems pleasant whether it’s for five minutes or the rest of my life. Even with subjects I’m familiar with, if it’s someone else’s perspective it’s new and if I’m lucky I get to learn something! This is the joy in being deeply curious: the world is an endless wonder: utterly and splendidly unpredictable.

Photo by Yann Jacobsen on Unsplash

If you think of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the drive towards self-actualization is a deeply creative act. Human nature compels us to strive and be more. We can create a life as large as it suits us. Curiosity, creativity, and wonder is not just for the few people who have taken art as a vocation. It’s for all of us. A basic human experience that we all intrinsically identify with. We don’t all have to run out and pick up a paint brush or wake up at 5 am to write out a novel, but we do need to get back in touch with the parts of ourselves that don’t serve any other purpose except to bring us joy. We need to cultivate a space where expectations don’t exist. In her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert highlights creativity’s place in our lives:

“Pure creativity is magnificent expressly because it is the opposite of everything else in life that’s essential or inescapable (food, shelter, medicine, rule of law, social order, community and familial responsibility, sickness, loss, death, taxes, etc.). Pure creativity is something better than a necessity; it’s a gift.”

Creativity doesn’t ask us to excel, it only asks us to show up. Gifts don’t come with expectations. The least you could do in return is to bring all of yourself, always. In whichever way your spirit is asking you to show up for that day. You don’t owe the world predictable. You don’t owe it anything, but finding your one true note. The one only you can sing and add it to the world’s melody. But the truth is you’ll never hear it when you’re too busy convincing yourself of your inadequacies.

So joyfully I’m going to take up all my parts (subpar as they may seem to others). I am a writer simply because I sit and enjoy the act of writing. If I never publish a single thing I am still a writer. I am a pianist. If no one ever hears a single note from my piano the universe will enjoy it regardless. I don’t want to continue to feed the idea that all we do must be for consumption or monetization. We don’t have to make it our life’s work; we can be “both, and.” There is nothing we have to prove to anyone or quality levels we have to meet in order to justify the things that make us who we are. We don’t even have to be any good at them. All the better for then we get to laugh at our attempts. Life doesn’t need to be heavy to be important.

The work of becoming myself is never finished. Every day I add a little more color to the canvas, but I never abandon it. In the end we might never have anything to show for it except the knowledge that we were willing to try and a deep satisfaction that we honored the full expression of our souls. That would be more than enough for me.

“Art is never finished, only abandoned” — Leonardo Da Vinci