If you don’t know who you are, you will end up in the office
Tags: Psychology, Health Coaching, Career Paths, Office Life, Choices

If you don’t know who you are, you will end up in the office AK Feb 16·5 min read

Have you ever seen a child who dreams to become an office employee, a clerk, a white collar? A kid can dream to become “a boss” which means “to be powerful like my parent” but boss is not a profession. It’s not clear what exactly you are going to do.

When you make your choice at the age of 16, you are cool. If not yet, that’s ok as well. Though if you don’t manage to make up your mind in the early years, it will be difficult to understand who you want to be as a grown up. Teenagers explore the world by testing themselves and others. Who was your hero at that time? What skills were you mastering? As a teenager I heard that sports, music, dancing, video games, and hanging out with friends could not become a job. It sounds funny now. A clear border existed between pleasure and work, i.e., life some decades ago. I made a compromise of the two and went to study foreign philology. I became an excellent University graduate and a young professional with no chances to lead an independent life. Miserable salary survival course was not a part of academic studies.

Photo by MD Duran on Unsplash

The job market was tough, and it did not need my qualification but some of my skills were in high demand. I got an assistant position in a legal bureau. I liked that my income increased. And I decided to study law hoping to make a career. The schooling went well but I resigned from my job after 18 months. It was my personal “The Devil Wears Prada” story version.

After a few months of search, I accepted the first job offer without consideration (I needed money). It was an admin position in a medium-size FMCG company. In a few months they told me I had to choose a profession. My two diplomas (a language teacher and a lawyer) did not weigh much in trade. I wanted to take the HR but was pushed to logistics because it was more critical to close the gap. Working with numbers was a pain. I felt stupid and incompetent with my very average math grade. Thanks to exaggerated perfectionism and hard work, somehow, I was managing. Eighteen months later the company was done. No, not because of me. Apparently, there were others who did not know math.

I was tired of changes and wanted to have a more stable job finally. Working in a big corporation with heavy processes, strict rules and a dress code terrified me, but I decided to give it a try. Nothing wrong happens if I work for one of those big guys. Anyway, I will learn new skills, I am going to meet new people, perhaps I will travel around the world, and they will pay me a decent salary. I am going to have a fixed desk in a warm and dry open space with artificial lights, coffee machines, and a canteen. And I got it all in a package along with a first-level manager position.

Photo by Andreas Strandman on Unsplash

I tried to fit into the corporate culture but even after many years I still felt an outsider. My interests always laid beyond business. I’ve been a rebellion against the rules and hierarchies. Small talks about a past weekend or future vacation seemed boring. Saving more money for shareholders had no impact on my well-being. I kept on asking myself, was I the only one who worked there for money?

I did not want challenging positions because the job I was doing did not match with my preferences. I declined promotions unwilling to work more. And still burnouts became regular because I was spending most of my lifetime for something, I had no interest in. Changing the office had no sense: after 10 years I could easily fit into any other big company regardless the industry. I could not feel myself anymore. I did not know who I was beyond the corporate definitions. And I felt miserable. I appreciated the experience and still felt that I gave much more in return, more than the money I received: my energy, my health, my personal life.

How did it happen? Was I too flexible, changing my professional profile according to the market needs? Flexibility helps to survive and to make life comfortable. Lack of self-knowledge makes us waste the energy and complicates the life. We accept the choices of others when we do not make our own. It is good to learn a new profession and to feel proud you manage it. Though if you continue doing a job you do not like, you will hardly become very successful. It feels much better to excel in the activity you enjoy and be a top expert in it.

Life is not perfect. It invites us to compromise to make the balance possible. All these years, working in the office, I tried to keep my natural talents and skills of teaching, guiding, and caring active. My passion started with private lessons, later I finished a school of massage, then I got trained as a group Fitness Instructor, and studied Health Coaching. My interest to the area of social and health care has been growing.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

I did not quit the office (life is not perfect, remember), nevertheless the more I practiced my favourite activities, the better I felt. I started feeling happier, even my main work irritated me much less. I focused on people and relationship development more than on performance. And my business position became stronger surprisingly. In the past, I was so obsessed with my dissatisfaction with the job that I neglected my soft skills. When I re-discovered them again, I stopped negative thinking. This helped me to create warm and supportive contacts with colleagues, made my office time lighter, funnier.

From the moment I made my own choice, when I understood what my preferences are, I started moving towards my real professional goal. I will never know how it would be if I had followed my path from the very beginning. What I am sure of is that I can help others in similar situation to make their choices.

Listen to yourself and make a change when you are ready.