Hi there, I’m trans
By: Stephanie Florczyk
Tags: STEM, LGBTQ, Coming Out

I’m coming out as transgender. (credit: Stephanie Florczyk)

I have some personal news to share. I will look and sound different the next time you see me. I am transgender and I am transitioning to live as my authentic self. I identify as a woman. Please call me Stephanie or Steph for short and my pronouns are she/her/hers. I ask for your understanding and support. If you cite my research, please cite it as Stephanie J. Florczyk. I am still figuring out my style and working on my voice, so please be patient with me. While this is a big change, I am the same person I have always been. This is something I have struggled with my whole life, so being my authentic self is something that should be celebrated, not anything to express sympathy for. I believe that transitioning will help me to better realize my full potential. Please don’t avoid me because I’m different or you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing.

I have been on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) aka gender affirming therapy (GAT) for 4 months. I started seeing therapists (I see 2) four months before that, so I have been transitioning for 8 months. I have started laser hair removal on my beard and working on my voice. I am seeing positive changes, but it’s getting harder for me to present male, so it’s time for Steve to go away and for Steph to take over.

This is certainly a big change and may be surprising. Many people that I came out to were surprised. A few people even thought I was joking or my email was hacked. I take that to mean that they had no idea I was transgender.

I learned how to fit in with many groups, but I never felt like I belonged. Hiding who I am caused me to filter my thoughts and actions to fit my role as a man. The feelings of being a woman never went away despite ignoring them, pushing them down, or numbing them. These feelings would occasionally lead to significant stress that could only relieved by crossdressing. This led to me playing it safe and trying not to stand out in many aspects of my life, along with doing what I thought I should be doing.

I had an epiphany during “magic wand” exercises in personal development programs when I kept answering “be a girl” for what I wanted the magic wand to give me. When I kept getting this answer, I realized that I couldn’t keep pushing these feelings down. However, I couldn’t share these feelings with my wife because I was afraid it would lead to the end of our marriage.

I realized during meditation that being transgender was not a flaw and I had been designed to be transgender. I started to imagine reaching the pearly gates and having St. Peter yelling at me, “How did you keep missing all of the signs? You were SUPPOSED to transition!” LOL! I decided to surrender to the universe and embrace that I am a transgender woman. That was a huge step in accepting myself as transgender.

An amazing quote that caused me to embrace surrendering to myself was:

“Allow, accept, trust, and enjoy who you are.” Jeddah Mali

The biggest change as a result of coming out is getting divorced from my wife. She is supportive, but we are not staying together. It is sad to lose the relationship, but I am grateful that we are still friends. I am adjusting to single life and trying to manage working from home during COVID-19. Beyond changing my identity and getting divorced, most of my life is staying the same. I had a great life, except for repressing my gender identity. Coming out is letting me remove the mask that I have been wearing and express my authentic self.

I greatly appreciate the support and understanding from everyone I have told so far.

— I came out on 6/8/20 but life got in the way of me posting this sooner —

I will be writing more about my experiences and my transition. Please follow me to get the latest.