FFS! STOP Using Buzzwords To Make Yourself Sound Intelligent!
By: Ted Gross
Tags: Artificial Intelligence, Disruptive Innovation, Innovation, Disruption, Big Data

Entrepreneurs & Technologists: STOP Using Buzzwords to Show How Wonderful Your Next Idea, Company, and Technology Will Be

Spouting Buzzwords Often Makes You Sound Obtuse, Asinine & Just Plain Stupid

It is the end of a long day. I have just finished my fourth Zoom-Facetime-Skype conversation in three days with a company trying to recruit me, and I am fed up and disgusted. I have listened to CEO’s, CTO’s, VP’s and team leaders use buzzwords and terms which had no context in the discussions. Worse, it was apparent from those who spouted these buzzwords had absolutely no clue what they really meant.

In the era of COVID-19, and at my physical age, it is not the best advice to tell your interviewer they make little sense. Nor is it a good idea to question if they actually understand the meaning of the terms they are using. Embarking on such a path will not lead to a job offer. But taking a job with such a company where the entire culture is built on buzzwords is not a wise career move.

Unfortunately, I have a big mouth, can be horribly cynical, and am not usually politically correct. Many years of high-tech experience have taught me to always ask the tough questions first, to avoid disappointment and frustration afterward. It is expedient, cuts through the chaff, and does not waste time. However, it can be brutal on the interviewee (that is me) and the interviewer. You do not make many friends in this process, but you find the “real” technologists and businesspeople. The C** (fill in your initials as you will) or the VP of *** (again fill in your initials as needed) or the team leader who can accept valid questions and answer them thoughtfully and intelligently is the one you want to work with or for.

The “Five-Minutes-Become-An-Expert” Syndrome

I have also noticed how often in sites such as Medium and LinkedIn, titles of posts are geared explicitly to using these great buzzwords to attract the maximum audience. Yet, in ninety-five percent of the cases within the post’s body, the buzzwords used are so misconstrued and misunderstood it is infuriating and ridiculous at the same time.

We all know articles should be what Medium, LinkedIn, Facebook, and others define as a 4–5-minute read (and often that is way too long). If you have something really WOW to write about, you may get away with up to 8 minutes. People simply do not read more extended pieces. Our collective attention span in the age of social networking has grown incredibly short. The exception to this would be in research and respected scholarly journals, where one is explicitly studying the subject at hand.

To be honest, I consistently ignore the 4–5-minute deadline, and I am aware my articles rarely receive the attention I would like. I guess you can call it purism or my own way of revolting against the “five-minutes-become-an-expert” syndrome.

Rely on the Ignorance of the Masses

If you want to sound like an expert, what you can always do is park some of those buzzwords in your mind and throw them into the article or conversation every few lines. It makes an impression. Most of the time, the person listening will be suitably fascinated — unless they have more knowledge on the subject than you do.

Sometimes, I admit rarely, but sometimes, I even feel sorry for the VC’s. They sit through meeting after meeting prospective companies pitching their investment ideas, all using the same buzzwords without meaning or context. I can see the VC’s eyes glaze over in boredom after twenty seconds, and their minds are wandering to the golf course.

It is acceptable to be vapid these days, don’t overthink, write fast, and do as little editing as possible. Keep the Flesch–Kincaid reading ease at a 6th-grade level and the time to read at less than 5 minutes. Rely on the ignorance of the masses.

Therefore, I will attempt to keep this piece focused, to the point, and within your attention span, but I will not promise to write an article on a 6th-grade reading level.

Buzzword Magic

So, what can Buzzwords do for you?

Buzzwords encompass complex ideas and even entire systems into one phrase

Buzzwords allow you to sound knowledgeable and come across as an expert

Buzzwords spread like wildfire as everyone wants to be in on the action

Buzzwords don’t demand research or understanding — all one must do is utter them

The moment you throw out a buzzword, everyone nods with understanding, and you have made your point

Some Buzzwords You Should Avoid Unless You Actually Understand Their Meaning

Innovation

Innovation — noun, adjective, and adverb. A neat trick when you think about it. You just got to love this one word, which can mean, well, almost anything. In technology, and in all areas, sprinkling a conversation with the term “innovation” guarantees interest. “Innovation” carries the awe of magic. Innovative ideas; Innovative technology; Innovative thinking; Innovative implementation. Did you know the word innovation can have up to 40 definitions?

Everyone and everything is innovative these days. New ideas, old washed jeans, and even your Grandmother’s secret recipe for that pasta sauce is innovative. No one seems to have just straightforward ideas — everything has become part of innovative systems. Entrepreneurs love the term — without having a clue about what it should mean.

True innovation — let us be straight here — real and true innovation begins within the world of theory and communication. Sharing ideas. Ugh! Why bring up a theory and sharing ideas in a world of programming and technology? Theorists are useless. Right? What do they understand about the actual world?

It gets worse for the pretenders. There are many distinct categories of innovation, each understood and applied to vary business models. When you mention innovation, are you implying “Incremental Innovation” or “Sustainable Innovation” or “Disruptive Innovation” or “Radical Innovation”? Perhaps it is one of the sub-categories within each theory and implementations. Little things like the CVC or Blitzscaling. Do you understand how you will implement innovation within your company? Do you know the process? Are you able to define intelligently the different types of innovation and when they should be applied? Can you even explain what kind of innovation you will attempt to accomplish?

Disruptive Innovation aka Disruption

This one is my all-time favorite. Everyone these days seems to be in the business of disruption. Who does not want to compare themselves to Amazon, Google, Facebook, Airbnb, Apple, etc. and yes, another, etc? As in the simple of innovation, there are hundreds of books and articles written on the subject. Rarely, have I met the technologist who actually understands

Before you use this term, do you even know what an “S-Curve” is? Do you know how to implement it within your own eco-system? Are you aware of the stages of disruption and what it entails? Can you even intelligently define disruption?

Go to as many “Disrupt Conventions” as you like. This will not make your idea disruptive or even innovative.

Startup

One dollar for every time I have heard a company described as a startup. That is all I ask — one dollar, and I would be a rich man. Many of us have grown tired of listening to someone define their company as a startup, only to discover the company has been in business for over three years with paying customers.

After 20 minutes of listening to an impressive description of a “startup,” I remember an interview where I asked the CEO, “How long have you been in business?” He said, “Six years.” I then asked, “How many employees?” Answer: “Over ninety.” Innocently I then asked, “Why are you calling yourselves a startup when you have been in business for six years with so many employees?” Answer: “Because it is considered ‘sexy’ to be a startup these days.”

At least that was an honest answer. You won’t be told that the term “startup” will be an excuse to offer you a lower salary and demand more hours. There are exceptions to this, such as Netflix. However, usually using the word startup referring to the company allows for a whole new psychological profile of the company and how it all works.

So, when does a startup reach the level of not being a startup? Is it the time or the number of employees or the seed money or the level of seed money? Maybe everyone is a startup until they hit their IPO! I gave up trying to figure out the correct answer. One thing I know. Suppose a company has been in business for over 24 months and has customers who pay for the product and seed money to continue growing. There, it is reaching the point where it is no longer a startup. And insisting it is a startup will have grave repercussions on the company culture, the way employees interact, and creativity.

I blame companies like Airbnb and Netflix for the “startup” buzzword. They found it advantageous to remain in the “startup space.” So, by definition, almost any company not publicly traded can be a startup. Well, if you fall for this, I have this magnificent bridge in Brooklyn I would love to sell you.

Big Data

O-M-G!!! I have been in data from the days of DOS. One day I turned around, and suddenly the universe was dealing with Big Data. It is a fact that the amount of information available today is mind-boggling and doubles at a dizzying rate. However, when you mention Big Data, you need to understand backend architecture.

Let us agree you have a big data idea or system. Now what? Is it in SQL or NoSQL? What do you want to do with your data? How are you planning to extract the data? How will you analyze it? Do you understand the different analytics, Bayes Theorem, Decision Trees, Random Forests, data streams, and all the rest?

It gets so much worse these days. Big Data leads to the data lake. All right, folks. What is a data lake? What is it used for? When do you use it? What is “clean data?” How do you sift through data? What are the dangers of relying on out-of-the-box algorithms to sift through your data?

The lesson to learn: Before throwing out the “Big Data” dream, understand what it is and how your idea or company needs to deal with the data.

Artificial Intelligence (AI)

You simply cannot have a technological conversation these days or even listen to the news without someone mentioning AI. It is a magical term and will cause all ears to perk up, and listeners will hang on to every word.

When I hear the AI mentioned, I ask questions. Serious questions. What type of AI? How are you achieving it? Is it ML or NLP, or SA? Is it based upon algorithms or connections of deep parts of the data you own? Are you attempting to understand something or just gleam insights? Does your AI meet the simple requirements of intelligence?

What the hell do you mean by AI?

When All Is Said & Done — I Am A True Hypocrite

I have resisted adding footnotes and citations to this piece, as it would be a 30-minute read if I did so.

It is impossible to cover all the buzzwords floating around in the atmosphere. They pop up and disappear at a dizzying rate.

Buzzwords do not make you look smart. They do not help you when standing in front of VC’s with your PowerPoint Deck, asking for seed money. You need to understand what you are saying and implying when you throw out a buzzword.

So please, for all that is holy, resist the temptation in your articles and conversations to use buzzwords and then hashtag them. Some people do know what they mean. Some of us will ask you serious questions about your idea. And when you fumble on the answers, no matter how many buzzwords you threw into your article or conversation — you will reveal your ignorance and not inspire confidence in your idea.

I am a hypocrite.

I have an idea for an innovative startup that combines creative arts with technology in a field where I can disrupt the current method of data mining. It requires big data, innovation, and will be disruptive. It also requires massive amounts of startup capital. Still, it will make the world a better place to live while also significantly changing the way we understand data using AI.

There you go. I kid you not. I hope I covered all the bases! And honestly, I will hashtag this piece with all the buzzwords I can think of. Then you are welcome to test me on them!

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