I choose both: on binary thinking, equality and the acceptance of our own dualities
By: Virginia Vigliar
Tags: Equality, Nonbinary, Narrative, Feminism

The most useful advice I was given was to replace my “or”s with “and”s

Daniel Lièvano for Fine Acts

“Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” Walt Whitman

The most useful advice I was given was to replace my “or”s with “and”s. In an exercise to accept my multitudes, I followed the advice and learned that I did not have to fit into one definition, it was freeing.

Binary or hierarchical ways of thinking pervade politics (conservative vs. liberal, right vs. left), gender (male vs. female), knowledge (logical vs. emotional), and even our own definitions of ourselves (happy vs. sad, successful vs. unsuccessful, etc.), though many don’t identify with these categories. This has direct consequences on who gets to have rights and who doesn’t.

My mission today is to explore and reflect together on binarism and perhaps reframe the way we look at it and integrate it.

What is binary thinking?

A binary way of thinking labels and values opposing characteristics as good or bad, right or wrong.

In the society we are currently in—a Western-centric and patriarchal one— binary thinking has the effect of “privileging a particular epistemology” in this case one that is Western, patriarchal “and based on rationality and logic, over ways of thinking and knowing” says Rebecca Shamash in her paper From Good vs. Evil to rational vs. emotional: a discussion of binaries of knowledge and thought.

table borrowed from Rebecca Shamash

In her research, she argues that whilst race, gender, and class may seem diverse, they are part of a narrative that categorizes them, she calls it “The Binary.”

She is not wrong, society is based on inferior and superior ways of thinking, we see this on a daily basis. A very blatant example is access to equal pay being dependent on your race or gender.

The damaging effects are, obviously, for those labelled in the former category. If the desire is to have a more equal and wholesome society, dividing people into categories makes this task unlikely. Acceptance of binarisms is non-violent by nature, whilst hierarchical binarism is.

Feminism and binary thinking

I was introduced to the concept of binaries through feminism, when I came across the theme of gender inclusivity. Nonbinary gender is a spectrum that doesn’t identify with either male or female gender.

The introduction of pronouns and recognition that gender is not binary is an integral part of fourth-wave feminism as is the defense and inclusion of LGBTQ+ community in public discourse.

Recently I watched a YouTube program called Middle Ground, where people of different “life views” sit together and talk about a theme. One episode hosts feminists and “non-feminists” as they try to grapple with statements such as “Male privilege is real.” What struck me the most in this video was when one of the “non-feminists,” said the following words to make an argument as to what would convince him to join the feminist movement:

“There doesn’t seem to be a clear centre and a clear desire, people call themselves feminists for all sorts of reasons.” He continues, “if feminists can make a concise push towards an issue, together, I would be willing to join.”

Right in front of me was a blatant example of how a view opposing feminism is often binary, and frankly in this case quite limited. Imagine if we spoke the same way about human rights activism, how would that look?

Renee Magritte

Equality of the sexes can only be achieved if we reject hierarchies. The manifesto Feminism for the 99% presents a similar argument, stating that the mainstream feminism, or “white feminism” as labelled by some, does not take into account the experience of women of different races, class and sexual orientations: essentially, it has a binary narrative.

In order to truly dismantle societal structures, we must also approach knowledge and thinking in a radically different way.

Personal and political

An essential part of my personal healing and growth has been to accept my own multitudes, the more I did this the more I noticed how this paralleled the work that so many feminists have done.

Audre Lorde and bell hooks for example, through their experience as Black women in a patriarchal society, recognized that feminism needed to also be anti-capitalist, anti-racist, and anti-classist. This is truer today than ever, as the fourth wave of feminism sees its multitudes in action. Everything is connected.

But why is binary thinking so pervasive? Somehow, “there is this idea that in order to gain equal footing, the other side needs to be emasculated or dropped down” says Minna Salami in her book Sensuous Knowledge. How many of you have seen the infamous poster at the women’s march explaining that society is not like a pie? It is a testament to the importance that hierarchies play in our approach to knowledge.

There is power in accepting and observing dualities, we often don’t realise that. Accepting that two (or more) opposite things can coexist in a constant state of impermanence is very hard in a society where we need to “fit in.”

People want single truths, they want one ideal to follow, they want consistency, they want black or white, or grey. This search for one right road, one definition of ourselves and others, one right or wrong argument often creates frustration and inconclusiveness.

It is about time we start thinking in multitudes and reject binarism in all its senses, from speaking about human rights, climate change, to speaking about our own feelings. We are multitudinous beings, thinking in either/or has limited our perception of the possibilities that exist, of the changes we can make.

Also, accepting dualities is non-violent by nature, it makes us listen to each other more, we stop having senseless conversations based on criticising the other for being “inconsistent” and instead focus on our differences and find a bridge. People focus more on the important message of activists rather than scrutinize their every inconsistency or mistake. It brings people together rather than set them apart.

Photo Credit: Virginia Vigliar

Nonbinarism is a way of life, an approach to knowledge, it is integral to every aspect of our life that is tainted with patriarchalism. It involves indigenous women, tribalism, ancestral bonds, women and men, and LGBTQI+, it is for trans rights, it rejects hierarchical structures of power and strives for commonalities, it accepts differences and observes flaws, then integrates them.

I once stated that humans are imperfect by nature, but I want to retract that statement today. Having researched multitudes, I have realised that what we call imperfections are actually things that push us away from The Binary, and are the things that make us perfect.

Try replacing your “or” with “and” and see what happens.