A submission to the Everyday Sexism project (written when I was 17)
By: Sheri-Ann Bhim
Tags: Assault, Sexism

I was walking home the other day in broad daylight — had my headphones on jamming along, when a tall black man in a hoodie and CHINOS for crying out loud casually put his arm around me and started chatting me up. Stupidly I thought it was someone I knew for a second so didnt shrug his arm off immediately He took this as a good sign!? When I did shrug him off and began to walk faster — on MY road on MY route home at 1pm in MY happy day — thinking this had happened before he’ll just walk away. But he didnt. He continued to chat me up — What endz am I from etc. I pretended to be a 15 year old girl who was very nerdy and studied a lot (basically me 3 years ago). Cheeky men had come up to me before chatting me up. This guy was different. He tried to shove me in an alley after shoving me against the wall and groping my breasts. I was shocked outraged INDIGNANT. I was actually quite posh about it — saying excuse me ! I couldn’t believe this was bloody happening ! groping me in bloody daylight ! But this went a bit further than incidents on the Everyday Sexism Project. He tried to shove me in an alley again I reiterate this point because it was 1 PM IN THE DAY. But I fought him. Some TV show came to mind — some scene where a girl is raped at night all alone in an alleyway and her resilience and also the adrenaline enabled me to push his hands away from my top to stop him from yanking down my bottom and his torso from invading MY space. I ran away him in pursuit, across the road outside my grandmother’s old house — dead not even a year ago. A builder SAW me and SAW him and LOOKED back down. I cant be angry at him he didn’t speak very much English as it turns out and couldn’t have seen what was going on a few moments ago. The attacker — cant believe I’m saying that — called out after me ‘Come on!’ ‘Why are you having a temper tantrum’. ME a blooody temper tantrum the cheek! I wasnt even wearing anything that revealing ! I ensured my top was sufficiently covered by my scarf! I had been to 6th form for goodness sakes ! I ran home after that — just 10 houses down. I could see my house from where the attack had happened. I just broke down in front of my mum expecting a cup of tea and a hug but she called the police. I was shocked ! And HERE lies the problem. We are taught day in and day out — and was truly exposed to this from reading The Everyday Sexism Project — that its ok to be touched up thats its not really sexual assault. My mother was a livid woman searching for the guy — who by the way just WALKED NOT RAN off after he spied the builder looking. He was still shouting things after me. My mum wanted to get a lead pipe and beat him if she could find him. My mum told me it was the one time I could swear. My mum had to be calmed down by the police women who came. It was only until I was being interviewed by the police woman that I even began to associate what had happened to me with the words sexual assault. The policewoman said ‘ well that’s what’s happened to you sexual assault’. But isnt that sad? Me, a 17 year old strident feminist attending the Ursuline High School JOINT 6th form ( i could never hack an all girls) thinking I didnt get sexually assaulted. I just think its shameful — I feel ashamed. But I’d just like to point something out. The policewoman who helped me were gracious kind and understanding. The builders(not the same one who saw me) who were at my home that day doing renovation work offered to leave in case I felt uncomfortable. My mum and her best friend Dian got in the car and started searching for him the attacker. We still havent found him yet I doubt we ever will. I had to go into the police station give a statement — which was honestly one of the most surreal experiences ever. Sitting there in a tiny interrogation room talking about what happened where he touched me and what he did was just surreal. i still cant quite believe it was sexual assault — and IT MAKES ME ANGRY. You know, the guy he went for my boobs. My boobs are fantastic — there one of my biggest quite literally assets and they’ve attracted a lot of attention over the years but this guy went for them. After this happened I found myself saying even more reason to get a boob job! As in breast reduction. They don’t hurt or anything like back pain but they attract tooo much attention. How sad ! is that. I wanted to mutilate and change my body because some idiot tried to cop a feel and rape me, like it was MY FAULT. this is what society puts on US women. We cant even bloody look nice at 1 pm in the day ! When the detective in the interrogation room read out my statement to me (she had been writing it down) I sounded weak and helpless — so she was shocked when I wanted to put in I was ANGRY. Well Why cant i be? Why shouldn’t I be? I WAS THE ONE VIOLATED. Reading the Everyday Sexism prokect gave me strength to write this and share this. its MY story its what happened to ME and it exposes a much greater problem in society — that women are made to feel like these incidents are just the norm. It also has given me the strength to say to you — Dont cover up Dont give in Dont give up. Why the hell should you? Its YOUR body. Dont ever let ANYONE make you feel that it isnt.