3 Key Exercises to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
By: Todi Afo
Tags: Relationships, Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Communication, Self-awareness

In the past couple of decades, our world has advanced technologically at an all-time rate. The creation of the internet, AI, and semi-autonomous cars are just a few of the many advances we have made as a society.

Though we are an advanced society in terms of technology, we are in the dark ages in terms of emotional intelligence and maturity, as many seem to lack the basic skills to deal with their feelings.

Our society is rife with people who don’t know how to deal with their emotions, and I feel as though this may create a whole host of issues.

But maybe I’ll elaborate in another article.

In this piece, I will go into what emotional intelligence is, how it can benefit you and those around you, and three exercises that you can implement to improve your emotional intelligence.

Defining Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (or EI) is your capacity to identify, understand, and manage your emotions in productive ways. It also includes your ability to resolve conflicts, show empathy, and communicate effectively.

Why Should I Improve It?

Emotional intelligence is one of the most important life skills you could develop.

Having high emotional intelligence will better allow you to manage and cope with your emotions effectively, as well as communicate with others better.

Though listing the benefits of emotional intelligence might help you understand why it is such an important skill, I think showing you the negative effects of having low EI would give a better depiction.

What Low Emotional Intelligence Looks Like

Victim’s Mentality

People with low EI have a victim’s mentality and are prone to shifting blame onto others. They often create a whole ideology in which the world is to blame for all of their problems.

This can lead to tons of toxic relationships.

Emotional Outbursts

People with low EI do not have the self-awareness and coping skills to understand and calm their emotions. Catch them at the wrong moment, and you will be met with a ferocious outpouring of rage and other negative emotions.

Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

Low EI individuals avoid direct, clear communication. They will often resort to telling rumors, excessive complaining, and sabotage to “get back” at those that have seemingly wronged them. They generally operate with an attitude of resentment and hostility, which is sure to cause unnecessary turmoil in relationships.

Now that you have a decent idea of what low EI looks like, I will now give you three exercises that you can try to improve your emotional intelligence.

Exercise One: Question Your Emotions

For this exercise, every time you notice an emotion coming up, analyze it using these questions:

Where do I feel the emotion in my body?

What caused me to feel this way?

Why does this situation bother me so much?

What can I learn from this?

Doing this exercise will help improve your awareness of your emotions and might even uncover harmful beliefs that may have been holding you back.

Exercise Two: Deep Breathing

Whenever you find yourself in a situation that brings up intense negative emotions, distance yourself from the situation, and take deep breaths.

Make sure that your breaths push out your stomach to ensure that you are breathing deep enough. Your inhalations should be approximately the same length as your exhalations.

Continue this exercise until you feel as though you have settled down.

The exercise will help you in improving your ability to manage your emotions.

Exercise Three: Practicing Assertiveness

Assertiveness (the ability to speak up for yourself honestly and respectfully) is a key component of clear, effective communication and healthy relationships.

Here are some things you can do to practice being assertive.

Learn to say No

Saying no to other people’s requests can be hard for some, but it is a crucial component of healthy relationships. You need to be comfortable enough to say no when people are crossing the line and consuming your time.

Try saying no the next time someone asks you for a favor.

Utilize Direct Communication

As a communicator, the burden is on you to make sure that the people you are in conversation with understand your message.

Make sure that you use simple and direct language. Being verbose will only muddy the clarity of your message.

Also, try to stay calm when in communication. Being in a bad mood could negatively affect the way that your message is received.

Face Your Fears

Though this may seem unrelated, facing your fears can help build confidence in yourself and improve your ability to handle stressful situations.

So when the opportunity arises, try to do something you are scared to do. For example, if you are scared to speak up during work meetings, try sharing your opinion. If you have social anxiety, try asking a stranger for directions.

Just expose your self little-by-little to these stressful situations and get some small wins. Soon enough, you’ll be able to handle stress like a pro!

Final Thoughts

Hopefully, you have gained value from reading this guide. As I previously stated, emotional intelligence is an important lifestyle that can improve the quality of your relationships. Practice these exercises regularly, and you will see a definite improvement.

Good luck!