How to Do the Next Right Thing
By: R. Rangan Phd
Tags: Mindfulness, Psychology, Productivity, Inspiration, Decision Making

Life

How to Do the Next Right Thing

Navigating the Dilemma of Decision Making

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Nothing gets our attention quite like an unmade decision! Whether we like to admit or not, unmade or pending decisions are often at the center of a lot of turmoil and stress in our lives. If you have ever wondered about decision fatigue — you know what I am talking about.

Perhaps, you have wondered :

Why do some decisions feel so overwhelming?

What if the choice is between two equal (excellent or terrible) options?

How does one move forward with regular tasks amid a looming un-made decision?

The Art of Decision Making

It can sometimes appear as though we are almost addicted to clarity or even certitude — wanting to be sure of all details before moving forward. Or perhaps, we seek approval above all, often leading to a desire to seek everyone’s perspective before understanding your own, leaving ourselves susceptible to finding a lack of confidence and struggling with a chronic case of hesitation.

Or maybe you have a strong aversion to making a decision, so you either delegate them or settle with the quickest choice. Or perhaps you are addicted to busyness, to the fast pace of our uber connected-lives, leaving very little time, let alone energy and space, to consider what might be best, much less what you want.

If any of this sounds like you — read on!

“It’s the mights and maybes of our lives that keep us awake at night — Emily Freeman”

So Many Decisions and So Little Time…

I recently read a book, “The Next Right Thing,” by Emily Freeman. According to the author, an average American makes over 35,000 decisions each day, including about 200 decisions on food choices alone! Many of these are mindless, and often, we aren’t even aware that we have a choice. We almost always have an opportunity, and even when we elect not to choose, we are making a choice.

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Freeman proposes a person-focused approach to decision making. In reading the book, it is clear that she does not tell her readers what to decide; instead, she offers a direction — to live in the moment.

To decide just what the next right step should be rather than trying to figure out precisely the wheres, whos, whys, and so on. The latter approach is overwhelming, to say the least.

She provides new insights into how to turn overwhelming decision making into a simple, soulful practice. Each suggested practice in the book comprises a short reflection, suggested actions, and a prayer to help you create some “space for your soul to breathe.” Her approach has a religious viewpoint, but I find that parts of her message would resonate with a broader range of readers.

Based on the book, The Next Right Thing, developing daily practices can make decision making easier. Such methods can include: decluttering your life by adding daily reflection, naming things, and making lists of things that enhance life energy. Let me explain.

“Minimalism is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you,” — Joshua Becker

Becoming a soul minimalist

Stillness is to soul as de-cluttering is to a home. It helps simplify our lives, and it can start with developing habits that can help cut down clutter from our lives. Freeman suggests that there is too much noise coming into our lives every day and that daily reflection can help take some of the clutter out.

Take a few minutes each day to quiet the outside noises and reflect on what is vital for your unique version of happiness. It can help to picture a higher power walking with you in this task, helping you, guiding you, assisting you, and issuing a kind invitation to release the burden of hard decisions.

Practice: Notice the Silence Take a moment each day to notice the silent spaces in your day. For example, Notice the first light of the morning, your walk to the mailbox in the middle of the day, your home before your kids wake up in the morning, or apartment before your roommates return from work, or your drive to the grocery store. Make effort to not fill the silence with any sound or with the inner mind chatter of past conversations or future possibilities. Decide instead to experience the quiet inside and make an active effort to connect with your higher self or universe or god.

Naming Things

Once we start to declutter and find out what is important to us, it helps naming one’s priorities. Freeman suggests that allowing things to remain unnamed and unacknowledged impacts decision making.

Naming is a powerful process of acknowledging things that are important to us, and Once we name things, they carry weight, importance, and a sense of intimacy with the object.

Just like to know a person’s name is to know something about them. Naming is important for other things as well. In failing to name precisely what we are deciding, our minds can feel clouded with generalities and a vague sense of anxiety. When facing a decision, name the things that are involved. Clearly, state the choices that exist.

Practice: Name the Narrative Take the time to name the unnamed things. Whatever it is that is coming up for you, name them for what they are — grief, sadness, worry, excitement, joy, envy, desire, exhaustion or hope. Listen to what is coming up with curiosity, even if you are afraid you won’t like what you hear. Listen with assurance that you are not listening alone, the divine being is always there with youm supporting you and holding you with kindness. Asking yourself the following questions can help the unnamed realities rise to the surface: Is there a hurt you haven’t quite let go? A regret that’s been following you for so long you think it’s normal? An excitement you haven’t given yourself permission to explore? A dream might be hanging out in the wings, kicking at rocks or standing on tiptoe? Are you in the middle of a major life transition — did one of your child leave kindergarten, or go off to college? or Did your spouse or you start a new job? Is there someone in your family with a recent diagnosis? Is a friend celebrating a success you wish was yours?

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Make a Life Energy List

In trying to make a decision, a piece of standard advice is often to make a list of pros and cons. Freeman does not favor making a pro-con list. Instead, she suggests making a life energy list. A life energy list is a preemptive list. It will not eliminate decision making, but it can serve as a helpful filter. Using this information in the future, you can decide with actual data from experience rather than frantic speculation.

One way to do this is to choose a category of your life and then a specific time frame. For example, let us choose the category, Relationships, and the time frame of the past three months.

For this life energy list, reflect on any community, group, or volunteer activity that you might have engaged in the past three months, time spent with friends and family, time spent with other families, or any traveling with other friends.

Once you have listed down the events, you can reflect on whether they go into the life-draining or life-giving category. If, for example, you realize that a fall- camping trip with friends was at the top of your life-giving list, you might want to include more of these in your life.

Practice: Make the Most Important List Daily A simpler daily practice to include daily reflection, such as one inspired by The Daily Examen is a technique of prayerful reflection on the events of the day in order to detect God’s presence and discern his direction for us. Each day, practice the following prayerful reflection: Step 1: Affirm the presence of Grace in your life.

Step 2: Review the day with gratitude.

Step 3: Pay attention to your emotions.

Step 4: Choose one highlight of the day and pray on it.

Step 5: Look toward tomorrow. It’s easier to engage in making a life energy list once you have developed the practice of daily reflection.

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The Next Right Thing

In essence, her book has a piece of simple advice: when faced with a decision, do the next right thing now — not the Next Big Thing. Not the Next Impressive Thing — just the right thing in front of you.

Freeman recommends that when facing a big decision in your life, perhaps your next right thing is to ask a single question:

In this decision, am I being pushed by fear or led by love?

The answer to this question alone can often offer all the insight you might need to take the next right step.

“There might be many good reasons to act or not to act, dont let fear be one of them “ — Shaun Groves

Here, I describe only a summary of my main inspired takeaways. The full booklists several practical strategies for decision making, such as becoming a soul minimalist, don’t rush clarity, choose your absence, naming things, and making a life energy list, and practicing feeling gratitude every day.

She offers so many other workable tips for decision making that I believe in reading “The Next Right Thing” may be your next right decision!