How 20 Minutes a Day Changed My Life
By: Alyssa Cooper
Tags: Stoicism, Habits, Essentialism, Stillness, Habit Building

Around 50 days ago I felt the full impact of the current pandemic crumble on my shoulders. My trip on the “ronacoaster” was beginning its rise. I had been here before, even prior to the global pandemic. I was feeling stuck, exhausted, getting annoyed at even the smallest of inconveniences, and beginning to shut myself out. I recognized my behavior and I recognized the problem. For 12 hours a day I was sat in front of the screen: working, writing, binging YouTube, scrolling through Snapchat stories, and watching copious amounts of Netflix. When I wasn’t in front of a screen, I was sleeping or struggling to. I had placed a pause on my workouts because I didn’t have the energy from my lack of sleep. I was in a constant cycle: try to sleep, work, scroll, eat, shower, scroll, sleep. Everyday.

One morning I awoke after a terrible night of sleep and proclaimed to my girlfriend that “I had enough and that I was going to change my bad habits. I was going to reduce the dips.” Meditation had always been recommended to me. I have a mind that constantly races and I get myself into negative thinking cycles that usually end with me feeling worse than I did before. My girlfriend is notorious for looking at me from across the room and shouting, “I can hear you thinking again!” But each time I have tried meditation, I have fallen promptly off. It wasn’t clicking for me because I could barely make it through a 3-minute Headspace session without fidgeting or thinking about work.

I decided to learn more about meditation before diving in. That afternoon I picked up the audio version of Ryan Holiday’s book, Stillness is the Key, and the rest is written. I devoured Stillness is the Key in two days and by the end, I had a notebook full of notes and a determination I had not felt before. The two nights I listened to Stillness is the Key were the first two nights I had meditated in about a month. I made it through both sessions, albeit barely, I had done it.

Holiday discusses the importance of having a routine. Taking control of our lives by limiting our inputs. I decided to implement a morning routine for myself and this is where the real change began. I’d wake up every morning at 8 am, get out of bed and head straight to the bathroom where I’d wash my face and get dressed, I’d start the kettle for my coffee and then I would promptly head outside for a walk around the parking lot of my apartment complex (roughly 5 minutes of walking), I then come inside and make my pour-over coffee (coffee for me is a meditative experience in itself, more on this later), after my coffee is made I begin journaling about my walk, goals, dreams, or anything else top of mind, and once my thoughts are on paper I do a 5 minute semi-guided or unguided meditation using Headspace.

This routine takes roughly 20 minutes each morning. During this time, I do not touch my phone or laptop. It is just myself and my thoughts. Once my meditation is over, I head into the office with my coffee and begin work for the day. This routine has enabled me to have complete control over my morning. It has provided me the time I need to reflect, think, challenge myself, and just be still.

Each morning that I do this routine (I do it every morning, even weekends) I feel refreshed, happy, and thoughtful. I go through my day with a Stoic mentality understanding that I cannot control the external factors around me but I can control my own thoughts and actions. This routine has made me aware of that more than ever. I’m patient and kinder than I was 30 days ago before I implemented this routine. My girlfriend has pointed out how happy I’ve been since taking this time for myself. It is wonderful how life-changing simple habits can be. I’ve seen an increase in my personal and work productivity. When I control my morning it motivates me to keep going. If I can knock one item off of my morning routine, it makes me feel like I can own my entire to-do list.

I translated this morning routine to nighttime as well. I place my phone away an hour before bed and spend quality time with my girlfriend. I ensure I wind down before bed by journaling out any hungry thoughts and being still. It has helped me fall asleep at night and stay asleep.

Over fifty days ago, I began this routine and I have never felt better. I understand that I control my own happiness and that happiness does not revolve around the 5" screen in my pocket. I spend time with my loved ones, I read, I run, I work with focus and patience, and I put my best foot forward every day. This could not be possible without this morning routine. 20 minutes a day changed my life, could it change yours too?