The Beauty of Being Alone
By: Xandra Okori
Tags: Health, Mental Health, Alone, Life, Growth

The Beauty of Being Alone

Solitude can be freeing.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I never considered my natural inclination toward solitude a personality trait until the internet told me I was an introvert. Perhaps my whole family is introverted as we all seemed to gravitate towards individually spending time on our own, so I never really knew any different. It makes sense that I naturally drift out on my own to create, unwind, and just be myself, but I’m always a little concerned when friends seem displeased that not having to be somewhere doesn’t automatically mean I’m available to hang out either. What am I doing alone that I can’t do with others around? Far too many things to list here, but it often makes me wonder what’s so bad about wanting to be alone in the first place.

I believe it’s necessary to separate the state of being alone and being lonely. It’s possible to be alone and lonely, just as it’s possible to be surrounded by people and lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind where you feel isolated and unable to connect with yourself or your environment. Being alone is simply a state of being able to be yourself without needing to involve anyone else. I have friends who can’t stand being alone for too long otherwise their mental health takes a dip, which is normal.

However, if you find yourself actively avoiding doing things alone or being alone, you might need to take a deeper look within to reflect on why you’re so afraid of being alone. I’ve learned through research and personal experience that it can often stem from being afraid of facing your true feelings and relying on the distractions of the outside world to keep you company while you ignore your real problems.

By letting yourself be alone, you open yourself up to self-discovery and inner growth. It’s in your alone time that you can often truly think and process your feelings, freely express your creativity, and become the most real version of yourself. You can do whatever you want without outside voices electing that you do something else instead. Your alone time is where you’re free to make art, explore new ideas and locations, fully unwind, or just be, without having to be “on” to accommodate another person’s needs.

This isn’t to say that you need to be alone all the time to appreciate these benefits, but setting aside some time daily to do whatever you want to do alone will be beneficial for your mental health and fulfilling for your life. This can be taking thirty minutes to read a book, walking or biking outside, or even just watering your plants. You don’t have to embark on a new ambitious project to gain fulfillment from being alone. After all, it’s often in the most mundane moments that you find peace.

Some of my most profound discoveries and epiphanies have come from spending time alone, which increased dramatically during the forced period of isolation we’ve been put under due to the pandemic. I was finally able to admit to myself what needed to change in my life since there weren’t as many social pressures or hectic schedules keeping me busy and unavailable.

You don’t need to be an introvert to enjoy spending time alone, but don’t fear it as a recipe for boredom, either. Give yourself the space to let your mind wander and explore on your own. You never know what you’ll encounter through this journey.