30 Things I Learned Going Into My 30s
By: Sasha Monroe
Tags: Life Lessons, Birthday, Thirty, New Year, Celebration

Photo by Bestbe Models from Pexels

At the end of every year, it’s always a necessity for me to reflect on how much I’ve grown. I’ve never been a fan of setting New Year's resolutions, as I would typically forget about them within weeks when the new year actually begins. My birthday falls within the first week of January, so it’s actually perfect for starting the year anew. However, I recall a number of birthdays in which I was sad or depressed because I felt like I hadn’t accomplished what I should have by a certain age. As I continue to get older, I now look at birthdays as life celebrations because there are plenty of people who didn’t make it this far.

My 20s were all about living and learning, however, I’ve realized that life will always teach you lessons at any age. Yes, that decade was loads of fun, I graduated from college, took trips, and moved into my own apartment — but there were definitely a lot of hard days as well. Now that I’m in my 30s, I’m a firm believer in the famous quote, “Like fine wine, I get better with time.” With age comes wisdom, so here are 30 things I’ve learned as I move through my 30s.

1. Don’t dwell on the past for too long

Listen, I get it. There were times in which you didn’t get that dream job or perhaps someone took advantage of you when you had good intentions for them. It’s okay to think about the times that didn’t go your way or as planned, but trust me when I say, “Let that s**t go!”

2. Be honest with people, even if the truth hurts

There is no point in lying to spare someone else’s feelings, keep it 100 with people. Some people may not like hearing the truth, but being honest is a major key to life.

3. Never settle

I’m a firm believer in going after what you want and deserve. If you must, set certain goals and expectations for yourself, and once you do, you won’t settle for anything or anyone that isn’t up to par.

4. Stand up for yourself

I’m a highly introverted person and I’ve never taken confrontation too well. However, I’m a firm believer that people should speak their minds and stand up for what’s right. There are plenty of ways to have a no-mess and no-nonsense approach when it comes to stating your peace.

5. You can create the life you want

We all have certain dreams and aspirations that we want to achieve, but the key is finding the right steps to execute them. This isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. So you have to layout certain steps to get there, such as finding your purpose, setting goals, staying focused, and learning from people that you admire.

6. Travel more, travel far

Once you travel to new places and see the difference in cultures, your outlook on life can change for the better. Whether that means taking a road trip down the coast or flying hours overseas, traveling is a great way to escape the norm and broaden your horizons. Be sure to not get caught up on costs, traveling is definitely affordable, you can follow websites like Travel Noire and The Points Guy for tips!

7. Be okay with circles getting smaller

Late rapper Nipsey Hussle once said, “Circle got smaller, everybody can’t go.” I always refer back to that lyric when I look at how my circle of friends isn’t as massive as it once was. In life, you have to learn to be okay with breaking up with friends that aren’t growing with you.

8. Not everyone is going to understand you

You may have certain views, outlooks, and goals that everyone won’t agree with. It’s up to you to cut out the noise and continue to do you.

9. Treat yourself

Life is too hard to never reward yourself. Buy that new handbag, take that trip, indulge in the finest dining experiences — whatever it is, treat yourself because you deserve it. In the process, be mindful to never live above your means, but also don’t be cheap to yourself EVER!

10. Go after what you want

If you want that dream job, that shiny new car, or that cute guy’s number — you have to go for it! Don’t be afraid to take risks and be intentional with what you want out of life.

11. Learn from your past mistakes

No matter how old you get, you’re going to make mistakes. However, the important thing is to not repeat those same errors and grow from them.

12. Rest and reset as much as you need to

Ever since childhood, it’s been ingrained in our minds that we need to work hard to get to where we want to be. However, resting our minds and bodies is even more important. So, take necessary breaks, use all your PTO and sick days, and get your sleeping pattern in order — your body will thank you.

13. Money won’t buy happiness, but it damn sure helps!

Saving money and learning to invest will help you in the long run. It always helps to have some type of money cushion for a rainy day, so always be mindful of your income and expenses. Be sure to monitor all of your money accounts and feel free to take a course in investment and financial literacy.

14. Be happy with yourself before diving into a relationship

People should learn to love themselves before committing to another person. It’s important to have a good sense of self, mind, triggers, and everything in between before being in a relationship. Nobody else can love you until you love yourself.

15. Listen to your body

My body is slightly different than it was when I was in my 20s. I’ve realized how much my metabolism has slowed down in addition to not handling endless libations like I once could. It’s important to be mindful of how your body reacts to certain things. Sometimes you may need a change in your diet or you may have to see a medical professional due to a body reaction — whatever the case, don’t neglect your body. We only have one, so it’s important to stay on top of your health.

16. Never be afraid to ask for help

Don’t let your pride get in the way of letting you excel. Closed mouths don’t get fed, so if you need assistance, just ask.

17. Stay grateful

Not going to lie, I’m the type of person who seems to be never satisfied and always striving for more. However, I have to humble myself at times and be grateful for the things I already have. There’s no shame in wanting more, but always be thankful for what’s in front of you.

18. Self-care should be a daily habit

Self-care is the best care and it’s a practice that should be innate. Whether that means exercising, reading, or disconnecting from social media, self-care is one of the best things to help you thrive and prosper.

19. Write down your goals

Several years ago, I was frustrated with where my life was going, so I decided to write out some goals in a notebook. Two years later, I looked back on that same list and it helped put into perspective what I accomplished during that time. Writing out your goals allows you to describe what you want vividly, motivate you to take action, and celebrate your progress.

20. Know yourself, know your worth

You have to constantly believe in yourself without seeking validation from others. Know that you are worthy of all good things, despite people’s opinions and others trying to bring you down.

21. Take a lot of pictures

I feel like I got this trait from my mother, she has boxes full of pictures and always told me that if our house was ever destroyed, the only thing she would want to save are the pictures. Over the years, I started picking up photography as a hobby, as I’ve realized how important it is to capture moments. So take pictures and record videos, it can be fun and healing to look back on memories.

22. Don’t be afraid to admit you’re wrong

Life is going to constantly teach you lessons, and embracing your failures and errors is a part of it. We all have flaws and we have to stop letting our pride get in the way of admitting them.

23. Everyone is not going to like you

People may not like the work you do, your opinions, or your personality — and that’s okay. You can’t focus on pleasing everyone else, just stay true to yourself and the right people will be by your side. As long as you like you, that’s all that matters.

24. There is no perfect timeline for achievements

Not going to lie, this is one that I still struggle with — putting timelines on my success. There were times when I thought I would be married by the age of 25, a homeowner by the time I was 28, and landing a spot on Forbes’ prestigious 30 Under 30 list. However, I had to realize that even if I didn’t accomplish things by a certain age, doesn’t mean that I failed, it just means I have more time to perfect it.

25. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes

If you’re feeling down or uninspired, know that it’s okay. Life can throw unexpected curve balls that may cause you to stress out sometimes. Just know that you don’t have to be strong all the time and there’s no shame in crying to get your feelings out.

26. Communication is key

Communication is needed in any relationship, whether it’s with a friend, spouse, parent, or co-worker. Effective communication allows you to state your feelings, set healthy boundaries, listen with intent, and bypass assumptions.

27. A balanced life is a happy one

Living a balanced life is a major key to happiness. Balance is an aspect in everything — work, health, relationships, and so much more. Yes, you want to work hard, but play harder. Yes, you want to eat as healthy as possible, but it’s okay to indulge as well. Maintaining balance means making time for what you need and what you want.

28. Move somewhere new

As someone who grew up in a small suburban town, I couldn’t wait to make a change somewhere else. Attending college on the other side of the country and eventually moving to my dream city were two of the best decisions I could have made. There’s nothing wrong with staying in the town you grew up in, but I feel like it may make you complacent. So in order to grow, you have to get out of your comfort zone. And if the new city doesn’t work out, you can always move back, but at least you gave it a chance.

29. Create more than you consume

I love social media, especially Twitter because it’s my main source of information and news. However, sometimes I have to break away and take steps back from the info and the amount I’m consuming. I’ve been learning to use my time towards other things in order to keep my creative space in alignment.

30. Cherish the people you love

Tomorrow is not promised, so it’s important to spend time with the ones you love. It’s equally important to tell them how they make you feel, let them know that they are appreciated.

Cheers to the next decade of growing and learning more!