20 things I Learned in 2020
By: Legit Kellina
Tags: Self Improvement, Lessons In Life, Personal Growth, Lessons Learned, Self-awareness

This year has been a wild ride for you. A year of so much hope, so much potential, yet we fell flat on our face. What do we do when the unexpected happens? What becomes of us? Well, if 2020 taught me anything it is this:

1. Things don’t always go according to plan and that is ok.

Duh… obvious, right? I had so much hope for this year a lot of people did. I mean look at the number 20–20 has a nice right to it. I made a video of myself talking about how I was going to be consistent on my YouTube channel (I am glad I didn’t upload that) I made so many promises. I had plans to travel, but all of that felt flat. I learned through this that a delay is a period of growth and not always to hinder you. So trust that it will work out for you.

2. There are opportunities in the places you aren’t looking to

Sometimes we have a set path that we want to follow in our life. It’s either that or nothing else. What you’re doing is you’re missing out on all the other path that could lead you to an even better destination. Don’t be so focused on one thing that you disregard the crappy steps and the unexpected turns into a lifetime opportunity you never thought off. Don’t write anything off. Keep riding the waves.

3. Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith

Nothing is guaranteed. Sometimes you can feel a calling in your gut to follow that path that seems a little out of place. You are pondering over it, having no idea what to do about it. You’re scared to tell anyone because you are afraid, they will laugh at you. You doubt that you can actually make it. If there is one thing, I’m sure of, if it is in you then it is for you. When a path seems too crazy to go after it, that is a good indicator that you are steeping on the right path.

4. Plan out your goals

What you don’t write has a low likeliness to get accomplish. Even the smallest tasks of your days need to be written down. Not only your brain registers this, but you are more likely to follow through. This also goes for long term plans. Write down where you want to be 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and even 5 years from now. Writing down goals, tell yours subconscious that you actually need to get moving, hence why you’ll more likely to take actions that will get you there.

5. Be consistent with your goal

There are many times where I have quit this year and I call myself out on it, wishing I had just kept going, but I now learned my lesson. Writing down goal is only step one, but unless you act on it, nothing will get done. Believe in yourself even if no one else does. Keep showing up to do the work even if it seems like no one else is listening. I promise you there is one person constantly watching you that you probably have no idea about and you are changing their life. So, keep going.

6. Not every “friend” wants the best for you

There are people in life that will only want to keep you close because they are above you. Those so called “friends” are only there when you struggle. As soon as you start seeing the light, they start to feel threatened by you or change towards you. Don’t let this affect you. Notice their behavior and keep it in mind. It’s up to you whether you want to address it or move on with your life. But just be aware to keep them as far away from you as possible.

7. Don’t dim your light to please anyone

Sometimes the fear of success is what stops us from stepping into our calling. We are scared that we won’t relate to our friends anymore. We think that by shinning we are taking up too much space and not letting other shine too. Throw this mentality out. You are valuable, your space is just as valuable. A light cannot be hidden no matter where it is, says the good book (The Bible). Instead of worrying that you’re too awesome to shine, show your awesomeness so that it can inspire people to do the same.

8. Stop waiting for perfection

This is probably the number one reason why people don’t go after their dreams. They wait for the “perfect” time as if there is such thing as a perfect timing. Spoiler alert there is none. I fell into this trap for so long. I missed so many occasions to pursue my Youtube because I wanted the editing to be perfect, I wanted to do exciting things only to show on camera. But truly what people need is authenticity. It is the journey. Share your journey with others. Start where you are at no matter what your circumstances look like. There will never be a time when you are “stress-free.” Again, 2020.

9. Start doing by taking small steps

Take small steps to achieve the life you want. This sounds cliché, but it is true. I’ve struggled with wanting to change everything at once in my life, but I always go back to square one 90% of the time. This is because we have limited will power. Instead of doing everything at once, break your goals into small steps you can take daily. When you look back you will see the massive change that you’ve made in your life. Oh and also — your future self will thank you.

10. Invest in yourself

We value what we pay for. Yes, a saving is important, but even more important is investing in yourself. Everyone talks about investing in brokers accounts, stocks and such, but do you know that you are primarily investing in someone’s else business? Invest in your own first. Learn new things. Put a down payment in a course that will help you generate income later in the future. Invest in your health and your wellbeing. Without this, you won’t function properly, and you are putting yourself at risk. No matter how busy life gets, promise you’ll always take care of yourself? Promise? Ok, good.

11. God loves you

Sometimes we chase the wrong person. Sometimes we need to be loved by that special someone or to be praised by a crowd in order to feel loved, but that’s not true love. True love comes from God. As soon as I experienced God’s love, it was like a light switch. I felt different. I felt… free. Free from any expectations that were set for me. I started to love myself more and this made me into a more loving person in return.

12. You don’t need anyone’s approval

I used to be such a people pleaser. Every decision I made; I calculated the odds of my decision offending someone. If you have an idea, don’t wait for someone to validate you. Go after it. No human owns your life except you.

13. Be kinder to your family

When lockdown started, I didn’t know how I was going to spend 24 hours a day with my family. I had always avoided spending as much time at home because I didn’t want to deal with any drama. I was so nervous about being on lockdown with my own blood that you could’ve thought I was living with stranger.

But this quarantine drew me even closer to them. Because I had nowhere to run to, I had to deal with issues at hand and face a problem when one arose. It was only through dealing with conflict and forgiveness that I started to repair my relationship with my mother and my siblings. I feel so much closer to them.

14. Be humble

Simple as that. We’re all humans. No matter how much stuff you possess always care for others around you. Always look around you to see who might need help. You never know whose life you can change by doing this. Materials is fleeting, but your character is your legacy.

15. Surround yourself with people you want to be like

There is a real mindset shift, when you start to surround yourself with people who you look up to. You whole life changes. You start to become that person and this is so exciting for many reasons. Even if it is just listening to a podcast every morning for motivation, this can play a huge factor into your life.

In time you don’t always feel up to something and need a pick me up, listen and watch content that will uplift you and help you stretch your mind. This was a big game changer for me. Thank God for quarantine opening up so much free time to binge watch productivity videos. Counterproductive, amirite?

16. Give back the same energy someone gives you

We’ve lived through social distancing first-hand for the first time in our entire earth history. This is the time where you truly saw who makes time for you. We are no longer forced to interact with each other because of proximity. If you’re always the first one reaching out to someone for something, reevaluate your friendship. Yes, the person might be busy with their own life, but if they truly care for you, they will make time for you no matter what just like you do for them

17. Give more than you receive

A lot of people hold on to their goods because they are afraid that they will run out. I’m guilty of this. Especially during the financial crisis, we have witness, it is even more important to help each other. By giving you will receive even more.

18. Learn to enjoy your solitude

If you are an extrovert like me, not being out and about feels a little weird to you. I felt like I was going through a withdrawal period my first few weeks of quarantine. It is by spending time with yourself that you come to know yourself. This is downright the best thing you can do for yourself. Find out what you like, what bugs you, what lights a fire in you. You will never fully know yourself if you don’t sit down and take time to ask yourself these questions.

19. Just because you aren’t going out does not mean that you shouldn’t look good

I get it. It’s easy to slide on sweatpants because we aren’t going anywhere, but you are underestimating the power of how you present yourself. Dress up, look nice just for the heck of it. This also makes you even more likely to do your work because your mind places you in the “I mean business” mood. Sweatpants? You might just feel like napping the whole day.

20. Racism is still alive, whether you want to believe it or not

Being an African in this country, I rarely think of racism because I lived in a country where everyone is the same color as I am. But I had to learn that the color of my skin is no longer just a color, but that some people still see it as a threat.

The solution isn’t just to march down whatever downtown to make a point. The real solution is the way we treat people. If we all made a collective effort to look past our difference and learn to listen to each other, things will start changing, but unless we ourselves start to do the work internally, we will never get there.

This wild ride has been one for the books. But time is wasted if we don’t learn from our experiences and mistakes.

What did you learn in 2020?