6 Things being a Mom has taught me already
By: New Mummy Journal Morolake O
Tags: Motherhood, New Mom, Baby, New Born, Mothers

I’m learning so much in such a short time. 6 Major things stand out for me right now and here they are

1. There are no Perfect Parents; Only Parents who Love!

2. Motherhood or Parenting as a whole comes with absolutely no manual! Not a single one.

3. You are stronger than you think - There are heights unknown, Depths of you, you have never come in contact with until you experience motherhood of any kind.

4. All you actually need is 1 hand. The second one was just extra! - I have done so much with just one hand!!!

5. Never let society or anyone make you go faster than your pace.

6. Motherhood comes with a lot of emotions.

Now let’s get to the “gist”.

1. There are no Perfect Parents; Only Parents who Love!

Respect & Appreciate your parents.

I have always done my best to Honor my Old folks (thinking about that now…you mean my son too will call my husband & I “old Folks” — wonderful! This life “ko balance” lol). Anyway, becoming a Mom has helped me appreciate, respect, and love my parents on a whole new level. I find myself reflecting on so many phases of my life and my attitude towards my parents, the struggles, and unseen battles they must-have been fighting and I was running my mouth or just downright ungrateful. hmmm…. How did my mom survive 4 Kids with no Google, Baby Center App, no nanny at some point which led to no job, or a community of women supporting without judgment? Or my Grandma — 8 kids (triplets in the mix) survive with no powerful pain relief or medical facilities like we have now? They remain my super heroes!

…Three generations of grace…

Let’s be clear..they are not perfect. (Who is actually? I mean who is perfect? We are all work in progress)

They have made their own mistakes, grappled with their own challenges and decisions that affect us to date BUT if you check the layers behind a lot of their decisions, Love was the Code, the underlay was Love. They probably just didn’t know how to do better and even if they did, grace says we sometimes cut people some slack. We must also not forget that the drive to protect and provide for one’s children can also push one to do some seemingly “impossible things”.

I have made a decision to Honour, Love and Respect them even more now.

I employ you to please do the same while they are alive. Life is short! You don’t want to live it in regret wishing you could have at least tried or done a little better.

I understand we have all had different experiences with our parents. Some pleasant others not so pleasant. Some super painful others were downright embarrassing.

I’m not asking you to take any irrational action if you are not ready but please, if you can, simply honour them and “look away”.

Honour doesn’t mean you become “pals”. It simply means giving them the respect they may deserve even if you don’t feel they deserve it.

2. Motherhood or Parenting as a whole comes with absolutely no manual! Not a single one.

Google has truly become my friend! One thing you will catch me doing regularly on my phone now is “googling” all sorts of symptoms and “how to for babies”. Of course, you can trust that I “rebuke some in the mighty name of Jesus” or canceled ❌ others with the Powerful blood of Jesus!lool. But really, there is no manual. One has to keep reading, researching, and checking to see what works.

I find myself also asking questions from those who also didn’t get a manual and simply winged it & learnt along the way. (The hustle is real!). Yet while asking them, I have to put into consideration — No two families, No two children are the same! What worked for A maybe a complete disaster for B.

It's a humbling, highly demanding Job that keeps you on your toes and kneels forever ...I already see the long journey ahead even though I've just taken the first step.

3. You are stronger than you think - There are heights unknown, Depths of you, you have never come in contact with until you experience motherhood of any kind.

To think that I would be taking care of a newborn baby all by myself, after going through a C-section with no single person to help in a completely different country has shown me that I am actually stronger than I really think I am. I have always thought I would have some form of support (my mom in particular) around me for the delivery of my child. She is one of those women who do this Post Delivery care (The Nigerian Way) for so many People for free in her community so I really never thought it would be any problem. Alas! I’m winging it all by myself! This is Life!

You make the best of plans but they get disrupted. Our strength lies in our ability to be flexible, learn, adjust and adapt to every new situation as quickly as possible. It’s not been a walk in the Park but I am daily loaded with strength and God has shown me over and over he is ALWAYS with me. Perhaps this is another life lesson to trust and depend absolutely on him.

4. All you actually need is 1 hand. The second one was just extra! - I have done so much with just one hand!!!

Unbelievable!!! I type, eat, cook, go to the restroom, clean, arrange my room, etc etc with just one hand! Wondering why? My baby is on the other hand! #bomblocat Loool. You put him down for a minute the crying begins. My husband is busy with work and we are just a “two-man army”. Yummy mummy O has to get the ball rolling!

Being a mom.. a new Mom suddenly reveals your superpower — The One-handed Superhero saving lives since 1826 lol. For your ears only I once went to the restroom with my baby in one hand and me doing “Number 1". There was no other way! lol. How I removed my dress and all still makes me wonder * I’ve been advised never to do that again instead I put him in the car seat strap him properly and put him close* (A girl has got to do what a girl has got to do lol)

One handed super hero taking a selfie lol. I still love my two hands o!

5. Never let society or anyone make you go faster than your pace.

I am super thankful for the precious 1 year I had with my husband before my baby arrived! It’s one of the best decisions we made. It would have been difficult managing all kinds of adjustments all at once. Newly married in a New country, with a New Language New environment with New people, Masters Degree, etc etc. Thank God my husband and I insisted.

It’s ok if you want to have children immediately or if it “fell on you” *wink *wink. Just make sure you do whatever you want to do because you and your partner agree it’s time. Firmly resist pressure because when it’s time to buy Pampers, and other baby items there will be NOBODY BUT YOU!

6. Motherhood comes with a lot of emotions.

One minute you’re crying, the next you’re reflecting. Another minute you are anxious about your child’s fingernails not growing! (fingernails of all things lol). I am learning very fast that it’s ok to let the emotions flow. Don’t fight them. Acknowledge, Ruminate, Trace it to the source, address, discuss..whatever approach I make sure to just let them flow.

There are still many interesting lessons but these ones stand out the most for now.

This is MY journey. This is MY story.

Yummy Mummy O

Signing out!