How I seek Healing through Witchy Woo Woo
By: Nicole Bedford
Tags: Spirituality, Self Care, Witch, Self Improvement, Self-awareness

Photo by Dan Farrell on Unsplash

“I’m touched by the idea that when we do things that are useful and helpful — collecting these shards of spirituality — that we may be helping to bring about a healing.” — Leonard Nimoy

We’ve all undergone some form of trauma peppered throughout our formative years that have left us just a bit broken as adults. Though not all of us are honest or aware of how deep that trauma runs and the shape it takes in our everyday life and I used to be exactly like that.

I’ve experienced all sorts of childhood trauma, from corporal punishment being the discipline of choice by my parents, molestation from family friends, caustic teachers, teasing from my peers about my weight and any other innocuous things, and religious conditioning that was more damaging than it was soothing.

I’ve battled with anxiety and depression since I was a teenager but I still remained in denial about how that trauma was bearing fruit in my life.

As a young adult, it never occurred to me to seek professional help to unearth what I’d buried so deep within myself just so I was able to cope on the base of levels. Especially since I grew up in a culture that considers talking about mental health issues to be taboo and seeking a mental health care professional to unpack your issues as a clear sign you’re mentally broken beyond repair.

Like many, I suffered in silence. In fact, when I was diagnosed with anxiety by a doctor his advice to me was to stop worrying, and he further implied that my youth should translate to not having anything to be anxious about.

It was hard. I turned everything inward, built vanishing cabinets within my psyche to sequester the pain of all of the trauma. I built a Department of Mysteries within my mind that held the cabinet and then locked the door.

Any time a traumatic event occurred in adulthood I would fill that cache behind that door deep within me. But I didn’t take into account that doors have spaces around their perimeter and trauma can sublimate into vapor and seep out slowly, by way of diffusion until it seeps into everything.

Around 25 things began to change. The door rattled, and more of that darkness was finding its way out. To numb myself I gave myself over to promiscuity, hmmm, perhaps that sounds too biblical, I began to fuck away my issues. My friends and I went out 24/7 we were more than weekend warriors, and I was always ready to go anything to distract from the pain. I binged drank heavily, began experimenting with drugs more and continued to ignore everything that I was feeling. I was drowning.

We can all relate to these cycles of sadness when an event triggers an unpacked trauma and sends us into free fall. That has happened to me a few times over the course of my adult life. Until I began to actively try to resolve the issues I was unable to face in the past. I’ve never really been in a financial position to afford a therapist.

When I lived in the Bahamas most charged nothing lower than $200 an hour making seeking help a privilege for the rich. While living in France, I couldn’t find an English speaking therapist in my city and there was no way I was going to be able to be completely forthcoming about what ailed me mentally and emotionally in French. So I sought an alternative to healing myself.

I’m a self-proclaimed witch. Like most women in my generation, it started with watching the cult classic The Craft. Sure there were other movies that came before but none like The Craft that made us think we too could be blessed with the power. And while I don’t do glamour spells to change my hair color, or love spells to get a guy to fall in love with me, I do use witchcraft to help me unravel years of trauma.

And here’s how I do it. I use the power of ritual.