Cultural Enlightenment
By: William, Dollar Bill
Tags: Culture, Life Lessons, Memoir, Prostitution, Enlightenment

Cultural Enlightenment

Courtesy of Planet Ho!

Athena by Pexels

Originally written for Screw Magazine, I offer an uncharacteristically upbeat take on my previous profession as an adult ad agency owner whose job it was to take care of my clients’ (who were escorts) advertising needs.

To clarify: If a working girl chooses not to work the boulevard, she has to advertise her service in either a print vehicle (which is now all but dead with respect to escort advertising) or the Internet to attract customers. Often, the ladies were not knowledgeable enough to negotiate that task. They needed someone to write their copy, do their artwork, and help them decide where to advertise in an effort to maximize their advertising buck.

If this sounds like Coca Cola deferring to the expertise of a major Madison Avenue ad agency, that’s exactly what it was from the point of view of the ad agency strategizing on behalf of the client. But of course, I wasn’t servicing business types in suits and ties. My clients wore g-strings, wonder bras, and stiletto heels.

The media outlets (New York Magazine, Village Voice, New York Press, et al) were all too eager to have an agency like mine do all this work for them. It provided plausible denial with regard to what these advertisers were actually selling — all while allowing them to streamline employee costs via not having to hire employees to handle all this advertising which in fact, brought in a huge amount of revenue.

Every working day (which is really every day for me) I take a trip around the world on my advertising beat. First, I visit with Russians…then Brazilians…then Chinese…then Koreans…and you get the idea. And via these multiple daily international experiences, I’ve come to know the world at large even more thoroughly than I did when I was a cabby (another international experience albeit mostly India and Pakistan). It’s interesting how each group approaches the job of selling ass.

Brazilians come from a youth culture that prevents them from working their 40 to 50-year-old bodies on the home front where nobody wants to buy sex from a girl who’s as “mature” as they are.

Colombians tend to support their families by sending money orders on a regular basis to what amounts to their pimp relatives.

Venezuelans are unique in that they primp and dress like rich girls only to go home to a domicile that is gross and run down. They, more than any other culture, value their outward physical beauty, cleanliness, and presentation at all costs.

My Russian clients, like their Brazilian counterparts, are a little long in the tooth and similarly responsible when it comes to their craft. The only difference is they turn an hour into twenty minutes in the room. I’ve never heard of a Russian girl giving good service in this business. But for all the aforementioned girls, none seems to be a drug addict, alcoholic, or an irresponsible shopaholic!

Enter Koreans and Americans both of whom boast breakneck/kamikaze cultural traits. Americans are mostly sloppy and irresponsible, supporting thug boyfriends, jailbirds, and drug habits. Instant gratification seems to rule. As far as I can see, they save nothing and simply live in the moment.

To my surprise, Koreans (especially the owners) can be very wild and compulsive. My best customers always ventilate by screaming and smacking me around for good measure. And they beat each other up as well. But at the same time, they’re very friendly, generous and loyal. I’ve tasted every Korean dish on every menu and been treated to meals on a regular basis — by girls who often abuse the fuck out of me when the mood strikes.

On days off they often get blind drunk and/or go to Atlantic City to lose all their money. And they give awesome massages. You can't believe how strong a petite girl’s hands can be until you’ve been tended to by a Korean!

Another curiosity in their culture is the “host bar” phenomenon. This is an establishment where Korean girls go to sit together in a room, get totally wasted on very expensive alcohol (like Johnny Walker Blue), and totally abuse the guy whose job it is to serve them.

It’s a great gig for some good-looking Korean men who don’t mind being humiliated for a handsome fee. But at least one Korean guy I know told me he was offered the job and refused it knowing full well what was involved.

And just think…if I didn’t know all these women as I do, I would never have come upon this valuable course in world cultures. Such a bonanza! Such a windfall! I am truly blessed — and cognizant of that fortunate circumstance.

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