When No Really Means Yes
By: William, Dollar Bill
Tags: Humor, Sexuality, Life Lessons, Relationships, Psychology

When No Really Means Yes

If only I’d understood the signals

Unsplash — Julian Lozano

I’m not the kind of guy who forces himself on a woman. And when told “no,” I generally take a girl’s meaning at face value. But women (and men for that matter) can be complicated and sometimes…they don’t really mean what they say. I bring this up today because just recently, a “friend” made my point. She said no when she really meant yes.

Loretta (fake name) was doing her favorite thing — which involves making my toes curl with her off-the-charts oral skills. I think it’s at once a dominant and empowering deal for her. She likes making a man tremble with pleasure and then overwhelming him to the point where he can’t help but submit to her talents. I don’t know this for sure, mind you. Just a theory. Whatever…I certainly don’t complain about her fetish. Rather, I just lie back and enjoy. Not every woman in my life has been similarly disposed.

So anyway…getting to the point…my mistress had arrived with very little notice and hence, I hadn’t very much time to drink a few beers in preparation of prolonging the ecstasy. And it wasn’t long before her powers of oral persuasion were becoming too much for me to withstand.

“Slow down, honey,” I pleaded breathlessly. “It’s just too good,” I continued to inflate her ego. Normally, I wouldn’t have had to make that request with 4 beers in my gut. And normally, she’s more than willing to do her energizer bunny thing. But that night wasn’t the night.

“Let me do this quickly — just tonight, honey,” she began. “I really have to meet someone and I can’t stay all night.”

With that, she shifted into overdrive…and it wasn’t long before her hands were squeezing off a mighty eruption (hyperbole). One look at my straining/gushing junk and what were the next words out of her mouth? “Damn! I shouldn’t have told you to cum. Now I’m horny!”

WTF?!?! I did what she requested and then? You get the rest. Ya see…right there was an example of when no really meant yes. Silly me, I respected her boundaries. And what did it get me? An abbreviated encounter. So much for being a gentleman.

Rewind to maybe 10 to 15 years ago. One of my Action customers ( I had a job selling advertising for a sex paper) dispatched a girl for a story in the paper. Generally, these kinds of features were made up. The boss wasn’t paying and it was my job to whip up some fiction that sounded real. But on this occasion, the customer knew that rewarding me would get her a really good review for her employee.

The girl she sent over for the story was actually a cute, young boriqua. I know it sounds odd, but there were times that I didn’t find the subjects of my Action stories attractive, and almost wished I could just write a bull shit review and not have to go through with the real deal. But that wasn’t the case with this girl. I was down — and in a big way.

So we get started and I’m doing my amorous thing whereupon she begins to complain in her cute latina accent “you’re fucking me like I’m your girlfriend.”

I countered that she was really cute and I couldn’t help myself. She accepted that for a while…until a few minutes later when Ms Honey hit me with the fateful request: “Cum for me, baby!”

Really, I was in the middle of getting my groove on. But having been admonished a second time, I decided I’d better finish up before she really gets insistent and fucks up the entire episode.

And so…I quickened the pace and thrusted deeper until the inevitable…barely noticing that the girl was beginning to show signs of enjoying herself. And of course, after I crossed the finished line, from her mouth came what you now have no doubt figured out:

“Why’d you cum?” There was really no need to even answer. I knew the deal. Once again, no meant yes and I missed the subliminal signal.

To illustrate the psychology of why something like this could happen, I offer yet another anecdote — and one in which I wasn’t one of the participants.

Yvette (another Action Magazine customer) and I were hanging out one night (I should mention Yvette was a friend with whom I never had sex) when she got an outcall and asked me to drive her to the guy in her car (which she had driven downtown) and wait until she was done. About 30 minutes later, Yvette returned and reviewed the date like this:

“That guy was cute. It’s a good thing he came when he did because it was starting to get really good!”

I know that statement sounds ridiculous — until you think about it. Often, girls don’t want it to get really good with a customer. Maybe it will drain their energy for the night. Or maybe they have a boyfriend at home and would feel guilty if it got really good!

I’m not sure what the point of this narrative is beyond the observation that women themselves don’t always know what they want — and that often no does mean yes! Unfortunately, a gentleman has to take a woman at her word and take no for an answer — even if no actually means yes on occasion. Becoming a #metoo poster boy is not a scarlet hashtag any rational guy wants to wear.