10 things I learned in the first month of motherhood
By: Heather Cabral
Tags: Newborn, Postpartum, Motherhood, Breastfeeding, Pandemic Pregnancy

10 things I learned in the first month of motherhood

Pandemic pregnancy and new mamahood has been a lot. I’ve loved and learned so much in this first month and wanted to share what I’ve learned these first wild weeks. Some is comical venting, part dropping gems that were either shared with me by our doula, mom friends, aunties, and other loved ones, and part things I’ve figured out on the fly because well, that’s motherhood. Also ignore my untamed hot mess curls. We haven’t done a good detangle since baby girl was born but I do love this photo.

Grace — You must give yourself grace. Balls will drop, things will fall through the cracks, texts and calls won’t get returned as quickly as you’re used to, thank you cards won’t go out immediately after receiving gifts. It’s okay. Baby comes first, and the things on your to do list will eventually get done, or maybe they won’t and it’ll be okay.

Patience and Persistence — Once the sleepy newborn days pass around day 10, you’ll have to actually put baby to sleep. It is not always easy. Whether it’s 2am or 2pm, you will find yourself swaddling and re-swaddling (because they will bust out of your newbie parent swaddle), rocking and rocking and walking and rocking some more. They’ll fake you out and you’ll think they’re asleep, four tries later, they… then you will finally go to sleep.

Have a routine — The first days and weeks will be somewhat of a blur. A small routine will help you feel an ounce of normalcy. For me making our bed, especially since we’re cosleeping, has helped me feel like I hit the reset button every day. Then I do the same face routine I’ve always done, tone then moisturize, brush teeth, put in contact lenses. The cold toner hitting my face wakes me up and helps jump start my day.

Mom Friends — Lean on your circle of mom friends. I’ve learned literally no question is TMI in this motherhood journey and my mom friends have played a significant role since the day I found I was expecting. If you’re lucky like me, some mom friends will be in the thick of newborn life with you. I have a few friends who are also up in the middle of the night nursing and those 3,4,5am texts to cheer each other on or keep each other up are so clutch.

Shart — Google if you’re not familiar. Your baby will shart on you, be prepared. The first time it happened was while I was exhausted and groggy. Shart all over my pajamas and our 1500 thread count sheets. The next time, she nearly missed my face as I was closely checking to make sure she was all the way clean during a diaper change.

Nipple Butter — It is your friend, get you some. Don’t wait until you bring baby home to use it, start lathering up your nips before baby arrives to get them ready. I didn’t use it until we were home from the hospital and by then it was too late, I was cracked and bloody and in pain. Nothing like recovering from an emergency c-section while nursing a newborn with raw nipples.

Hands Free Pumping Bra — Buy one, but just one. It will be your best friend, then you can do what I did and turn all those hot girl summer tanks you’re never going to wear again into a hands free pump top by cutting a tiny hole for your phalanges to poke through. Boom, saved you about $75, you’re welcome.

Snack Bin — Wherever you are feeding your baby most often, especially if you’re nursing, keep a snack bin. You have to hydrate and nourish yourself every chance you get. Our doula filled a small bin with nuts, chocolates, and granola bars on the nightstand next to my glider. Let me tell you, this makes that first early morning feed feel doable. You’ll be ravenous and dying of thirst — nursing can feel taxing when you’re thirsty and hungry.

Treat Yourself — A little more than a year ago I met with a life coach to talk about my 2020 goals. One gem she shared was to treat myself when I have to complete a hard task. At the time it was op-eds and business proposals. Now it’s pumping. Pumping is a lot of f*&^ing work. Washing and assembling pump parts is a full time job. My pump treat is small, but a treat — sheet masks. Friends gifted me these along with things for our daughter. If I have to look and feel like a milk factory, might as well luxuriate my face while I do it, right?

Sleep When Baby Sleeps — This is the advice literally everyone has given. It’s not all the way realistic but make it work for you. During some of baby’s naps you’ll want/need to shower, eat, restock the diaper caddy, do laundry, schedule the million and one doctor appointments you and baby will have, pump… But pick a nap or two in windows you need it most. For me, if baby had a rough night, I nap with her after the first morning feed. If she had a good day, I’ll nap with her after dinner to prep for the night shift.

Parenthood is magical, it’s exhausting, exhilarating and a blessing beyond measure. I couldn’t imagine these moments in my wildest dreams or even my most fervent prayers. I’m thankful for all of it and hope someone finds this helpful or perhaps just feels seen. From one new parent to another.