YA LEUM. 48 — Kalinga’s perception of Death
By: Patricia Assis
Tags: Travel, Backpacking, Kalinga, Phillipines, Traveling

In the last post we arrived at the Kalinga province to visite the Dananao tribe and attend a pre-wedding ceremony. We even had to sang in front of an audience…

We were having an intense experience so far!

The pre-wedding ceremony, get to know the community, get acquainted to the traditions and habits…Everything we wished for this journey.

Espiritu took us to meet his brother Roman Also, who has hit by a truck due to a drunk driving in Kalinga.

Here’s the scenario: When we arrived at his place he was laying down in an improvised bed in order to keep the leg half stretched and the arm hanged.

When we entered the door and let go an enormous welcoming smile asking us and call us to sit by his side.

Some of the villagers that were following us stayed half outside, half inside looking at us.

The connection with Roman took half of a cup of coffee. His energy and shining eyes were contagious. The health situation looked fragile, as he was laying down for 7 months already. He has been recovering for that past months, but he still can’t walk properly

Throughout a non-stop smile he shared his story:

“One night after work, two old ladies from my tribe asked me for a ride to the next village. I was ready to have dinner, and I did not want to leave since was already dark. However, the ladies really needed so I could not say no.

They sat on the side of the tricycle and after 10 min a small truck with a drunk driver hit us on one of the sides. The front part of my motorbike dropped and cut my leg in two parts. Unfortunately, they had to amputate one of the legs of the old lady.”

He shared details and how has been the process, but eventually he said:

“The villages are all small, everybody knows each other. I know the driver and his tribe. So, I went to talk to him saying that I am not upset with him and I forgive him. He was surprise with my visit, but I believe sometimes we need to go through hardships to be able to see our lives differently. I told him I am not mad at him. I told him it’s ok”

He continues…

“ The lady with amputated leg came to my house asking apologies that she asked for a ride that night. However I would never be upset at her. We are all good now.”

I had no words for his words. Neither was my place to say anything…

I was surprised, somehow shocked of the peace of mind from he had from such tragic accident.

Perhaps, I was even more amazed by learning that after this impactful experience which changed his life, the first thing he did was to meet the one who caused the accident and say “I forgive you”.

A story of forgiveness and ability to take things from a different perspectives.

From such strong-minded people we learn to look inside of ourselves. They do not give advice, or opinions, instead they show who they are. That is strong enough to look at ourselves and see who we really are.

These days went by and we kept meeting like-minded people. We visited different houses, people with different stories and always served us with the most delicious food.

All of them with same kindness, strong spirit, and willingness to take us in.

The 31st of December arrived and we joined the celebrations.

The Kalinga follows the Christmas Caroling tradition where groups of people go house to house to sing Christmas serenades to the homeowners. Mathieu did not miss the experience and joined the Caroling groups singing in front of people’s houses.

It was nothing like New Year back home, but it was special to start the new year with the Kalinga people. Esteemed as the strongest people in the cordillera, and profoundly kind, cheerful and religious people.

Other time, we met other relative from Espiritu who lost his wife in a jeepney accident. The all tribe were going up to the mountains for a wedding celebration by foot, but the wife was pregnant and took the jeepney. The road is steep and dangerous, the driver lost control of the car and they fell from the cliff.

Once again, I did not what to say, besides saying sorry.

But also once again, Espiritu’s relative surprised me when he said

“ In life we cannot predict the future, even if we want very much. We must trust that things follow their own rhythm and when something like this happens, we need look at death as part of being alive.”

December 2017,

Patricia Assis