Playing with Gender and Big Decisions
By: Natasha Visosky
Tags: Gender Identity, Growing Up, Theatre, Gender, Transgender

When I was a young child, I wore boys’ clothes and cut my hair short. I guess I was a bit androgynous-looking too because adults always referred to me as a little boy. Once, I had to get my sister from her classroom at school and the teacher said in front of the entire class that her brother was there to get her. It was embarrassing, because I knew I was a little girl. I didn’t even correct her. To this day, I feel more comfortable in the company of men and often pursue hobbies that are mostly considered masculine. But I’ve never felt out of place in my body and my gender matches my sex.

I’m cisgendered, so I would like to begin this discussion by humbly saying I have no first-hand experience in dealing with gender dysphoria and apologize for any mistakes I have made. Please tell me I made them!

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Transgender and gender-nonconforming (TGNC) people often begin to sense a dissonance between their assigned gender and their gender identity at a young age. Fortunately, as awareness of TGNC folks increases, young people and their parents are more readily able to assess or self-assess these feelings to come to a conclusion about whether or not to pursue the gender transitioning process, or less permanent solutions such as altering gender expression. However, as Jesse Singal explores at length in their article “When Children Say They’re Trans”, coming to those conclusions is really not that simple.

At about the time young people often begin experiencing this gender dysphoria, they also begin to change rapidly as humans. Hormones begin to change, sexuality develops, mental health issues often begin to formulate, they acquire a sense of gender roles, a sense of self, and a host of other, brand-new facets of cognition. It’s a confusing time for anyone, but it seems obvious that when the societal/parental expectations of those changes conflict with what’s going on inside a child’s mind, the time can be even more stressful. It’s a lot to ask of a young person. But people often forget, on the other hand, that children know and understand more than is usually assumed. Kids are smart, and while we may say as adults that we know better, it’s hard to argue convincingly that you know the inside of another person’s mind better than they do, no matter what age.

If the youth decides that transitioning is the right choice for them, a fun third party is added to the parent/child relationship that’s usually involved in this process: there are often one or more clinicians. I don’t want to get too deep into this particular aspect, but it’s often one of these people, a psychiatrist or similar, who probes the young person for answers about their gender. Everyone involved wants to be as sure as the TGNC youth that they are making the right decision. But sometimes that youth isn’t completely sure themselves for a host of reasons. Mental health issues and sexual orientation seem to be at the top of the list of complicating factors. How can it be assured that this young person makes the right, irreversible choice? This has a lot of people stumped.

I would like to explore the place that theatre (in this case probably high school or community theatre) might hold in offering a playground or laboratory for youth to navigate their identities and answer this question (and probably a lot of others) along the way.

It’s also worth noting that the family and clinicians involved seem to always have a higher rate of uncertainty than the person hoping to transition. Regret seems to be rare in those who choose to follow through with the process. But I posit that honest self-discovery is never a bad thing.

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The theatre attracts deviants, and I use the term in the most admirable way. Firstly, I expect this is largely because they have unique stories to tell (that they need to tell). Secondly, that’s probably what makes the theatre so endlessly interesting. And thirdly, a lot of the people included in this space are LGBTQ folks and folks who struggle with mental health issues. Wait a second. Those were at the top of that list from earlier about complicating factors for TGNC youth! How handy.

This means that the theatre can offer a space for these youth to meet others who may be able to share stories, insights, advice, mentorship, or even just act as a model or a friend. Any and all combinations of these positive relationships are possible in the theatre. I do not want to paint too rosy a picture though. There is a lot of work to be done, even in the theatre. Many TGNC actors have found that directors hesitate to cast them because their “type” isn’t written much; they have a hard time fitting them into shows. And no matter where one goes, adversity is omnipresent. But the theatre, as I mentioned, is a great place to find like-minded people.

In addition to finding camaraderie amongst theatrefolk, the TGNC youth can explore their gender through character. As Azure D. Osborne-Lee explains, “I had successfully embodied two dynamic characters in a single show, one male and one female, expressing, at least for a couple of hours at a time, recognizable gender fluidity. And that, I think, was just what I needed at the time.” There are roles written for TGNC people, intentionally gender-swapped roles, roles that don’t need a specific gender, and directors who are open to casting people in roles that don’t match their gender. These are all ways to explore.

By the way, when did an actor’s gender matching their role become such a big deal? It’s well known that in Shakespeare’s era, all the roles were played by men, some simply dressed as women. At that time, gender onstage mattered very much, just in a very different way than it often does today. In any case, according to the National Portrait Gallery, women were allowed on the stage in England in the early 1660s, and it didn’t take long before women began to play male parts. Theatre always has and always will play with gender.

On another level of exploration, the theatre offers a place where stories are told. These are sometimes stories of self-discovery (in terms of gender and sexuality) or of hardship and coping and hope (in terms of mental health). TGNC youth, like everyone, can recognize themselves in these stories and use them to reflect or plan a course of action or inquiry. As a more active method of reflection, they may choose to write down their own story. In the same way journaling can help us understand ourselves, story-telling can help us unravel our own stories. It can also offer catharsis through the process of sharing and creating a personal story within a supportive group.

The theatre also offers more skills to youth that could help build a toolbelt in dealing with their gender dysphoria. The “simple” act of speaking and being heard, metaphorically but also physically — projecting one’s voice, annunciating one’s words… knowing what it feels like to have one’s words hit an audience and for that audience to know what’s being said. Even how to connect emotionally to others, engaging them empathetically through speech or listening actively. These are tools that people of all ages benefit from, but for the TGNC youth who often feels unheard, especially by the doubtful parent or psychologist, these tools are invaluable.

Lastly, I don’t know if any of you readers have been to a wrap party before, but it’s a great place to explore one’s sexuality in practice. The cherry on top. Or on the bottom; you choose.

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But as I’ve alluded to, the theatre still isn’t a perfect space for these endeavours. TGNC folks often face problems in theatre settings despite the generally accepting atmosphere. As Bianca Leigh recounts, “At Rutgers having a ‘type’ and being easy to cast were terribly important.” She faced difficulty being cast until finding a niche and eventually transitioning. It took one professor to recognize her as a talented actor instead of a hard-to-cast trans artist, but once that happened, she flourished!

The double-edged sword in the theatre is that gender can be experimented with, but characters are often written with very explicit intent, and each one is scrutinized to such a degree that often involves specificity of gender. This is why intentionally gender swapping roles, like Queen Lear, makes a statement. But that’s a whole other post.

We are moving closer and closer to a time when TGNC people will not face discrimination in the world or in the theatre. My estimate is that the theatre will beat everyone else to it, but until then we must make a conscious effort to hear their voices and make sure their stories are told.

In the meantime, the theatre still provides a valuable resource for TGNC youth who want to explore their gender and their sexuality, seek support, and make big decisions.

Works Cited:

The First Actresses. The National Portrait Gallery. www.npg.org.uk/whatson/the-first-actresses/first_actresses_exhibition/first-actresses-explore#:~:text=Women%20were%20first%20permitted%20to,a%20career%20in%20the%20theatre.. Accessed Sep. 2020.

Osborne-Lee, Azure D. “Not Here for the Bard.” Howlround Theatre Commons. Oct. 2014. www.howlround.com/not-here-bard. Accessed Sep. 2020.

Singal, Jesse. “When Children Say They’re Trans.” The Atlantic. Jul./Aug. 18. www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/when-a-child-says-shes-trans/561749/. Accessed Sep. 2020.

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