Letter to Maa..
Tags: Mothers, Motherhood

A personal note my mother…

I know you are not there,

But your memories are still fresh in my eyes.

The way you looked, you touch.

I remember the time when you were getting me ready for the fancy dress competition,

Fruity is what you made me.

And I screwed it so bad.

I remember how you and dayda use to fight for the speed of the fan.

You turned it fast and dayda slow and I use to laugh at you guys.

I remember how you use to call him “Abhi”,

I remember how you took me to your tuitions,

Saw you teaching them and me engrossed in playing toys.

I have seen your possessiveness for me, when I use to give more importance to amma and not you.

I remember how desperately you wanted me to get into a convent school.

You put in all the efforts to see me there.

A true example of mom is what you set.

I remember how ill you were but still wanted to celebrate my b’day on a large scale.

But I never knew that would be the last.

You left, went somewhere far,

A tale that ended soon.

Small I was, but knew what just happened.

Life was about to change.

Me and dayda were left alone,

You left us.

School started, teachers saw me with those sympathy eyes.

Not just one but all.

I was loved not for me but just because I was a child without a mother.

I use to get jealous when I saw other mother daughter smiling, fighting, loving, making fun of each other.

I imagined what life would have been if you were there.

Sometimes I get angry, frustrated on you.

Wish I could tell you how difficult things are without you.

Wish I could complain how daddy was before and what he has turned now.

Wish I could tell you how I miss that word family in my life.

I have seen Mom, Dad, child.

But me, I was surrounded with a lot of members.

They loved me, and so did I.

I have everyone, but no one to be known as mine.

I know everyone loves me, but that personal touch is something I miss the most.

I got many moms in my life, but I keep finding you in everyone.

I have become so mean that I see their love but never as a mother.

My amma of whom you were jealous was my new mom.

She spoiled me like mad and I love her like you.

I love that she is imperfect and she loves me back.

We have our small personal fun time.

But still you were never replaced.

Even though you are that far, I can still feel you around like a shield protecting me from anything bad.

I am an adult now,

Married, family, husband,

The best family and life partner I could ever get.

I know you set it up for me.

But yes you still cannot be replaced.

I miss that mom advice which you would tell me for my relationship.

I miss how nervous I was on my day.

Didn’t have anyone to hold my hand and say calm down.

I miss you were not there on my big day.

I miss telling you about him.

I know up there you are watching us,

May be not in real but I know you are there.

I am not perfect maa, made lot of mistakes,

and I wish to make more.

I wish I could know you more.

Not the mother you, but the person you.

You know masi gave me all your pictures and school marksheets.

I love hearing all your stories including the crush one.

Dammnn we are so similar.

Stay there Maa, you are irreplaceable.

Miss is just a small word for that emptiness.

Love you Maa…

Happy Mothers Day!