How I Prioritize Writing as a Mom (or Dad or Primary Caretaker)
By: Kristin Hooker
Tags: Motherhood, Goals, Productivity, Writing Tips, Writers Life

Photo by Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

After I gave birth four years ago, I lost my identity as a writer. That was the thing that made me special and suddenly it was just gone. I became severely depressed, which meant I wasn’t motivated to do anything at all. I received a treatment last fall that healed my depression and now I feel like I’m completely killin’ it.

How? Part of it is privelege. My husband makes enough money that I don’t have to earn any and we can send our son to day care three days a week.

How else? Planning, good habits, and getting my overall life together! Good habits that seem unrelated to writing will form an infrastructure that protects your time and ability to write. Let’s do this!

For starters:

Buy a Passion Planner or something similar. It’s a daily planner that also guides you through setting short and long term goals. My big goal is to finish my humor book. I want to write 80,000 words by the end of October which means I need to write 2,000 a week. Figure out how many words you’re going to write. Jot down ideas throughout the day. If you don’t have ideas on deck, you’re going to hem and haw when you get your chance to write. If you’re writing a novel, prepare an outline to follow. Schedule EVERYTHING, not just your writing time. If you have a lot of tasks on your plate, you’re going to think about them when you sit down to write. Schedule everything so that you can rest assured that all your tasks will wait for their assigned times. If you’re a social media addict, schedule specific time for that too. Seek some hype. I’ve been into Rachel Hollis. I listened to Girl, Wash Your Face and I also listen to her podcast, Rise. Personal development is corny and I like it. Drink water and don’t eat processed crap.

Things to do every morning:

Read something spiritual or inspirational. I personally read a passage from the book Jesus Calling. If you’re not into Jesus, find something else with a short passage for every day of the year. Pray or meditate. I organized a schedule of who and what I pray for each day of the week. When I meditate, I like to use a guided meditation from youtube. Do yoga or walk. Whatever way you want to move your body is fine, but choose something you won’t dread. Write all your goals. Listen to this episode of Rachel Hollis’ Rise Podcast and she will guide you through this. Reminding yourself of your goals will put you in a mindset to achieve them.

I try to work things out with my husband so I can do these things in private, but I often just have to do it with my son crawling all over me or Paw Patrol running in the background. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than not doing it at all.

Things to do on work days:

Have a specific time to be at your desk. Even if you didn’t finish the morning routine, even if there are ants in the kitchen, get to your desk and stay there until you’ve reached your word goal or at your scheduled stopping point. Don’t multitask. During that time, nothing is more important than writing unless someone is bleeding or throwing up.

If you don’t have a ‘work day,’ get together with your partner, a sitter, or another Mom or Dad that you can trade hours with and figure out when you’re going to write every week. There’s also the option of writing after the kids are in bed, but let’s be honest; you’re exhausted by then.

Things to do every night:

Write 10 things you’re grateful for. Plan your next day including at least a loose plan of what you will eat for each meal. This will keep your day moving and prevent you from eating crap.

Things to do weekly:

Sunday night, plan your whole week to the best of your knowledge. You should probably write it in pencil. If you share responsibilities with your partner, talk the week over and decide who’s doing what so there’s no surprises. Protect your writing time! If you’re responsible for feeding your family, pick a specific time every week that you plan a week’s menu and make a grocery list. Shop once a week. Having to go the grocery store more than once a week is a time waster.

Some days are going to fall apart. Your kid is going to get sick, your partner has to stay at work late, someone has an emergency and they need you; it’s ok. If you are staying on track most days, the bad days don’t feel quite as bad because look at all the stuff you accomplished yesterday! And look what you will accomplish tomorrow.

That’s it. Not all of these things will resonate with you or work for you. Your life might be a lot harder than my life. Just do what you can and get words on a page.