Thanksgiving & Reflections 2020
Tags: Gratitude, Thanksgiving, Reflections, 2020, Year End Review

Where do I even start?

2020. This year will go down in history as one that many people would like to forget. However, despite all the negative stuff that happened (no prizes for guessing), as I write this I am already starting to feel grateful for everything that has come to pass.

While I’m at it, a chronological recap of how 2020 was for me:

January. J and I flew back to Singapore to spend Chinese New Year with family before heading to Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh City & Con Dao) for a week-long break which took us to end Jan. It was while in Con Dao — where I’m eternally grateful for the time we had relaxing on the beautiful island and getting sunburnt — that we got news about the coronavirus outbreak in China. Then, that the public holiday would be extended by another week in China.

February. Okay we’re back in Singapore. Now what? Delay our flights — I think a couple rounds of rescheduling before I decided to return on 17th Feb. J stays on until end Feb. My mom obviously wants to know why I’m going back to Shanghai so soon with the virus spreading, but after checking with friends back in Shanghai, I’m confident that the situation is under control. Fly back to Shanghai — half the plane is empty, airport is completely empty, it’s a breeze getting a taxi back to my apartment. Register with the security guard, scan a local municipal QR code, begin my two-week home isolation and twice-daily temperature checks with online log. Amazed at receiving automated phone calls if I don’t log my morning temperature by 11am. Start acclimatizing back to Chinese air/weather, cue my usual allergic rhinitis and hope to God it’s not coronavirus. Yup, thankfully it’s not.

March to May. The sequence of events are a bit blurry now, but during this period J returns to Shanghai just before borders close, and he doesn’t even have to do a mandatory SHN/quarantine. Continue mostly working from home, do the most cooking we’ve ever done in our lives — and also pretty successful as we watch tons of cooking classes on Masterclass (thanks Thomas Keller). Get on each others’ nerves from being in the same confined space 24/7. Sometime in April I resume going back to the office 2–3 days a week, and restaurants start to open. Okay some sanity from being able to eat out. But also in May, a huge shock to the system — my mum is diagnosed with CMML-1, a rare form of leukemia. I cycle between waves of sadness and hope, but mostly just glad for my faith and Justin, both helping me get through the uncertainty and (sometimes) guilt for not being in Singapore or being able to travel back at all. F**k Covid-19, seriously.

June. By this point, life in Shanghai is pretty much back to normal with F&B joints and gyms fully reopened. Mask fatigue is real, but most people are glad to have a ‘normal’ life again. Complacency is starting to set in though, with some bike riders spotted back to their usual spitting habits again — gross. Life in Singapore and other western countries, however, is in the pits — cue lots of gratitude for being in Shanghai/China and the government and local municipalities for having their acts together, as well as the civic-mindedness of the general population. Mum has also started chemotherapy by now, and although the future is uncertain, I’m so thankful that as a family we are really coming together in faith despite being scattered across different countries. And, thank you Skype for existing.

July turns out to be a crazy month. Early July we move to a new apartment so have to deal with moving shenanigans. Work-wise I also end up doing a couple of trips to Shenzhen to launch a luxury/world-first social retail concept store. Intense, tiring & incredibly frustrating at times but glad it’s finally done. Silver lining is J is able to join me for a few days in Shenzhen.

August. My younger sister gets married in Melbourne (with close family and friends attending via Zoom) on the same day as my 36th birthday. Feels weird attending online but oddly intimate at the same time. Super happy for her and my new brother-in-law. And then, finally a break in mid-August as we take a trip to Inner Mongolia, camping + literally busting off our asses horse riding 100km, 4 days in a row (our poor tail bones). But what an awesome experience being out in nature again, riding over vast unending expanses and not needing to wear masks. I also eat the most (impossibly fresh) lamb I have ever eaten in my entire life so far.

September. I re-join BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) to study the book of Genesis, although sessions are still being conducted online. Nice to see familiar faces and get back to studying the Word. At some point, I also finally resume some form of workout schedule which involves trialing F45 in preparation for our Yunnan hiking trip in October for the golden week holiday. I hate cardio, but somehow F45’s HIIT-style workouts are endurable in a group suffering setting. Heh heh heh.

October. Immensely grateful to spend time in Yunnan — Lijiang and Shangri-La — hiking (albeit too intensely), soaking in the crisp mountain air, eating lots of yak meat, appreciating tea and just being glad to be able to travel domestically. The mere fact that we are able to get on a plane and visit new places in China is certainly not lost on us. While so many we know in Singapore have cabin fever, and other countries cycling in and out of lockdown, plus airlines launching last-ditch P&L-saving offerings like flights to nowhere and A380 dining experiences, J and I have been constantly thankful and feel awfully blessed to be in China at this point in time. I also start a new job with a rather large surprise on day one, finding out my new boss is relocating to Hong Kong a week later. But hey, it’s 2020, anything can and will happen, right? Change is the only constant, so just take it all in stride and trust everything will work out according to God’s sovereign plan. We also celebrate mum’s 68th birthday, thankful to just be able to celebrate this precious occasion with her while knowing her days are numbered. Thankful for each day she is still with us. She still experiences a fair bit of bone pain but this (virtual) celebration lifts her spirits somewhat.

November blitzes by, I’m still overwhelmed by ‘new job’ syndrome and with too many projects on my plate. Nevertheless very thankful that overall the work is very interesting despite my (cynical?) tendency to view it as ‘same shit different place’ at times. Also glad to be using my brain, be challenged and growing in my experience and understanding of digital transformation — particularly in the largest, most dynamic market in the world — and settling in pretty well culture wise. I think. J also flies back to Singapore for work, and I barely have time to even cook for myself, let alone miss him — okay of course I do but you get what I mean — or even ponder the fact that while I do miss him, at the same time really glad for friends who look me up for meals & fellowship. Looking back over the past two years, I’m really glad I made the effort to establish community and build friendships in this home away from home.

December. Temperatures dip proper and winter pollution begins. I have to ensure I stay warm, properly masked up (including for air pollution) and manage my usual seasonal bodily issues that I have come to grudgingly accept are the norm for me. Reduced sunshine and increased air pollution means more frequent headaches, dry eyes and gut issues, but hopefully it will pass soon enough. Mum is mostly stable and more mobile nowadays — her response to chemotherapy has been nothing short of a miracle. My younger sister being back in Singapore is also great medicine for her.

These days, two plus years since we first arrived, Shanghai feels very much like home. My Mandarin has improved to the point where I can have mostly-decent work conversations. Navigating local e-commerce platforms like Taobao and various brands’ WeChat mini programmes are a breeze, and although my brain still auto-shuts down when having to read high volumes of WeChat messages in Chinese, I’m slowly getting a tiny bit more used to doing so each day. What also helps is our apartment is finally in a decent state; though we still haven’t had a housewarming do yet, we’ve managed a few kickass BBQs and have a clockwork ayi situation going… Now we just need to get some plants for the yard once spring comes around. We are also thankful that as a side effect of the pandemic situation we were able to get a better deal on rent, plus the fact that we both still have jobs and stable income — never mind the fact that I also changed jobs this year (and as a result got a slight increase in salary)— are all things I am so grateful for.

So. Despite 2020 being an utterly strange, and sometimes shitty, year, I wouldn’t wish to blot it out of my memory because there were a lot of learning points and personal growth experiences for me. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Right?

J and I also were able to spend a good 8+ months in the same locales — the longest stretch by far since we first met 12 years ago — as otherwise he’s usually traveling monthly for business. This gave us the chance to properly settle into our new apartment and it’s currently the most ‘settled in’ we’ve ever been, even more so than our previous place in Singapore.

More importantly: my family grew in faith and closer throughout the shared ordeal of my mum’s condition, and I now appreciate family and relationships so much more than before.

If you are willing, please pray for me in these areas:

Continued healing & improvement of my mum’s cancer condition Complete healing of niggling soreness in my right wrist Quick adaptation to new job demands and continued favor among colleagues Discipline to keep working out & stretching consistently Strengthened relationship between J and I; to be able to support him throughout his challenging work situation + trust God’s plan That I will be able to fly back to Singapore for CNY and return to Shanghai without any trouble

How would you describe and reflect on your 2020? What were the good/bad/ugly and what are you thankful for?