Ray & Jeff
By: Ryan Ritonga
Tags: Best Friend, Psychological, Conversations

Prologue

Ray has a best friend, Jeff. They are colleagues at the same university. Somewhere in the university, Ray has brilliant idea (at least he think he do) and he search for Jeff to share his idea. Bingo! He found him in the library. Then…

Ray : “Hey Jeff! Today I like to buy you a meal. How do you think? (approaching Jeff and then speak quietly)

Jeff : “Sound suspicious…“ (stop reading and stare to Ray)

Ray: “I need you to solve my new riddle”

Jeff : “Okay, I know what it is: ‘Yes, I love her still’. Can you buy a meal now?” (continue reading the book)

Ray: “No… no… no… It’s a new riddle. That is the old one.”

Jeff : “Fortunately, I feel really hungry now. So, please tell me your riddle… ‘Confuse-ius’” (put the book down and pay attention to Ray)

Ray : “Hehehe. Okay, here we go… Am I like Chinese?” (taking a seat next to Jeff)

Jeff: “Like I ever said to you before, yes, you are”

Ray: ”Wrong”

Jeff: ”How about, ‘No’?”

Ray: “Wrong again”

Jeff: “hmm…” (thinking hard)

Ray: “mmm…” (smiling brightly)

Jeff: “Both?”

Ray: “Right. But do you know what it means?”

Jeff: “Some people thought you a Chinese when see you’re slant eyes and white skin. Some other people thought you not Chinese, Javanese and others. So the answer is both yes and no.”

Ray: “Hahaha… wrong again…”

Jeff: “You are really evil. Just give me the answer, will you?”

Ray: “Not yet. I give you a hint. I am not talking just one issue.”

Jeff: “The hint that same with the old riddle. Hmm…”

Ray: “For this riddle, the first issue is appearance. The second is social preference”

Jeff: “Ow… I know! You mean you are like them and you ‘like’ them!”

Ray: “Hehehe… you right”

Jeff: “Yesss, and now for my grand prize…”

Ray: “Yeah, I feel hungry too. Let’s eat!” (Jeff and Ray walking to the canteen)

Preference of Love

Ray has a best friend, Jeff. They are colleagues at the same university. Ray and Jeff are having a meal in canteen in the university. When they are eating, a girl come to Ray and asks him to help her. After a short conversation, the girl leaves them and said “Thank you, ko Ray.” Then conversation between best friend begins.

Jeff: “Thank you, koko Ray” (imitating the girl’s voice)

Ray: “You’re welcome… Jeff” (smirk to Jeff)

Jeff: “Would you be my boyfriend? I like a kind and Chinese looking guy like koko Ray” (continue teasing Ray)

Ray: “Hey… hey… stop it, Jeff”

Jeff: “I thought you will happy if I call you some Chinese things to you.”

Ray: “Yeah, but it doesn’t mean that you tell everyone that you do so.”

Jeff: “Sorry… Sorry… Actually, I still wonder when you began consider ‘Chinese’ as your social preference, as you said before, and why?”

Ray: “First, I have to make clear that that is one of my social preferences. As you might realize, everyone, everybody have their preferences in their life and it not limited to ethnic. It can be psychological trait, physical feature, certain behavior and more. Second… you will bore listen my explanation.”

Jeff: “Preferences… hmm… Try me”

Ray: “Once upon a time, there is a man called Ray. He has an idea…”

Jeff: “It’s too long, make it a little short”

Ray: “Okay, maybe I begin with a question. For what you know, how does love come? To make it simple, love in couple”

Jeff: “Is it related?”

Ray: “Yeah, somehow. You’ll see.”

Jeff: “Okay, from eyes, down to heart. Is there any other way?”

Ray: “In some way, it is quite right. Further more, for women is ‘from ears, down to heart’”

Jeff: “So, does love needs to be questioned more?”

Ray: ”It is not the love that need to questioned. It is the couple. Maybe a better question is ‘does love need a reason?’”

Jeff: “Love is a very basic need. In theological perspective, man can’t live without God, the love and the source of love. In social perspective, man can’t live without love from others people; care and protection from other people. So, I think your question is absurd”

Ray: “You are right. So, why people said ‘I fall in love’ when they are meet someone they like or adore?”

Jeff: “It is a common way to show that you just not like them but willingly give your life for him/her.”

Ray: “But why have to be him or her?”

Jeff: “I don’t know. Wait a minute… are you jealous to someone?”

Ray: “Hahaha… Nice try… so, tell me why have to be that person?”

Jeff: “Maybe he or she has something that people don’t have, like honesty, sexiness, wealth, fame.”

Ray: “Yes but somehow many people ‘unconsciously’ likes the man or woman.”

Jeff: “Are these things important?”

Ray: “Yes, it is. Unconsciously things build people preferences of life, including myself. Our discussion is a discourse to what I want to tell you about my answer to your original question.”

Jeff: “Hmm… I am wondering why you do not have a professor title yet.”

Ray: “Nah, the title just makes me old. Maybe I pass it to you”

Jeff: “Hahaha….” (Ray give a brief explanation about the issue to Jeff)

Behaviour, Act & Habit

Ray has a best friend, Jeff. They are colleagues at the same university. Ray and Jeff now discuss about how people build their interest and preference on something especially someone.

Ray: “Already got bored in my ‘lecture’?”

Jeff: “Nope, just bring it on. I still have to figure it out in the end of this discussion what kind of counseling pastoral you need.”

Ray: “Hahaha… nice cut. So, how people choose their partner?”

Jeff: “Maybe the man or woman have specific requirement that fit their needs.”

Ray: “Consciously requirement, yes. But do you know there is a ‘unconsciously requirement’?”

Jeff: “‘Unconsciously requirement’… hmm…”

Ray: “It is build within their experience, their history. What they do, like, hate, and avoid in the past will emit again in an equivalent or same expression in the present and even future”

Jeff: “Sounds like psychoanalysis”

Ray: “Yeah although I somehow modified to my own understanding.”

Jeff: “Hmm… maybe doctor degree suits you more than professor… “

Ray: “Hahaha… Besides, my theory stills many holes in it.”

Jeff: “Okay, let me summarize it. You suggest that we must aware about our past because what we want and need in the present, or even future, is build from it”

Ray: ”Right! Further, the past affect people’s interest like hobby, favorite meal or even social preference.”

Jeff: “Hmm…”

Ray: “It’s affect people acts and habit too. For example, psychologist found that couples in their marital life tend to imitate their parent’s life marriage. In some point, it is not about bad or good marriage anymore, it is about “can or can’t’ the marriage life of their or one of their parents imitated.”

Jeff: “Quite complex example, I think.”

Ray: “Hmm… let me try again… You know Josephine, right?

Jeff: ”Yup.”

Ray: “Did she ever tell you why she likes watermelon so much?

Jeff: ”She did. When she grows hungry, she eats a lot of watermelon. In that time, she began like to eat watermelon.”

Ray: “Is that behavior for liking watermelon is wrong?”

Jeff: “Hmm… It is not except she will do anything to get one like steal it.”

Ray: “You right.”

Jeff: “ So it’s not enough just to aware about the past. We should evaluate and reevaluate our past so the ‘bad’ things we did or experienced, notably that happen unconsciously or out of our awareness, can’t be repeated again.” ”

Ray: “Yup! Although if it will happen again, we are ready for it. Geez, where do you learn to put people’s mind into good words?”

Jeff: “Thanks to friend like you, I learned it myself.”

Ray: “Hahaha…”

Jeff: ”I am sorry if my opinion against you. I think there is not good to think too much about the past. We have to leave the burden of the past and move on. Life is dynamic.”

Ray: “I think about that too, but I have three considerably reason. First, if the problem in the past will block your path of life once again, I am sure you either rush it or take a detour. You might get hurt or wasting your time on the same problem. If it can solve it sooner, why not? Second, you can offer comfort and solution to people that have the same problem as your past. To heal ‘wounded’ people, it’s done best somehow from the ‘wounded’ people that already healed. Third, as I say before, I believe that the past give some instruction why you walk in the present and how in the future. It’s just like you learn history subject of people, nation, or church but in this case, history of yours.”

Jeff: “Hmm… I can see your point. Maybe that is the reason why you interested in counseling. However, we have to choose how we live our life because we know our self better than others.”

Ray: “I can’t disagree with you.”

Jeff: “ So, back to the original question, what kind of past that you experienced so you choose the Chinese become one of your preferences?” (Ray give the explanation about his experience to Jeff and learned a lot of him. After that, they walk to separate way to do their own interest)

Epilogue

Ray has a best friend, Jeff. They are colleagues at the same university. Ray is spending his time in the university although there is no class that he has to attend. He taking a seat in an empty classroom and listening his mp3 player. Then Jeff comes to the class and fortunately found Ray.

Jeff: “There you are”

Ray: “What is it Jeff?” (opening his earplug)

Jeff: “I wonder if you want to go to dormitory together.”

Ray: “Nope… but thank you for the offer.”

Jeff: “Listening your favorite song again?”

Ray: “You know me”

Jeff: “Just have the faith bro, even there is no such thing as eternity, love will connect you two.”

Ray: “Hahaha…”

Jeff: “Any news from her?”

Ray: “Who?” (smiling)

Jeff: “Fan? Lie?

Ray: “I don’t understand who you are talking about.” (smile)

Jeff: “It doesn’t matter… as long they are the slant-eyed, right?”

Ray: “Hahaha….”

Jeff: “I am off then. See you, bro!”

Ray: “Jeff…”

Jeff: “What’s up, Ray?”

Ray: “… I just want to say thank you for being my friend, the best one actually. Thank you for everything” (Fin)

1st Revision (Agst 2012, June 2021)