That one missed connection
By: Bonjour De Coeur
Tags: Missed Connections, Love And Dating, Romance, Funny, Love

Once I fell in love with a man twice my age. When I was twenty-five he was fifty. I thought I was a mathematics machine because I figured neither of us would age or get bored.

Ever since, my heart dives straight out of my chest onto the pavement any time I see anyone who remotely resembles him in the middle age.

It’s a sensibilization or a looking out that causes no shortage of feelings on my part.

Once I had the gumption to go up to a man who reminded me of him.

I ate all this English lavender, he said chérie, it was like a dream but it went bad so fast.

The very same person who said the man was deliberately confusing people started to behave like other con men I had hoped to date before I realized they were con men.

And he started to confuse me.

I remember there were reports of delivery workers stealing, getting their hands in food, hence why they started to seal the orders — and _______ was telling me he always got a free meal.

One time he was holding my stuff hostage. Another time he said I hurt his feelings because I confronted him about how jealous and possessive he was, and he held that against me as if it were the worst crime.

Anyways, ultimately he represented the polar opposite of the allure and charm of the man he intitially reminded of — something was terribly off.

I became alienated because he reminded me of everything about the Boomer generation destroying the planet, society, mine and anyone’s future.

There was nothing about this man that was French! I asked if he planned to retire he said he’d work till he died. All he ate was cheap boomer food, so plastic it made me feel sick! What I observed was gross, wasteful.

Right when we met he kept trying to entice me with a bigger place.

I remember he accused me of being a sell-out because I didn’t work at the same job.

My style was cramped. I found poems he wrote about me on the internet. What has caused me greater humiliation.

From the first this man would blow up my phone.

Don’t get me wrong I have been destitute and in the streets — I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake in not living with him. But he made me uncomfortable. My style so crampled I almost felt dead or filthy.

I understand though now how my love object felt: I had been indiscreet, overflowed in my communications, the older American boomer man caused me to see the worst in myself and challenged me to feel what it was like to be on the other side of the exchange.

A forgotten bit: What is my age again?

I was in Starbucks and a man gracefully told me to go ahead.

Since this incident when I lost my cool a doorman has been installed.

I got a warning last time when a cute man showed up walked in and grabbed his drink then walked out.

It seemed a sign from the military industrial complex to use apps.

I messed up so bad this time I actually ordered a Frappuccino in Winter.

So anyway, the man who sent me on ahead, looked at me in this disappointed way, something had gone wrong.

I didn’t use the app, got colder when I ordered a frozen drink, and I dropped the ball and left behind someone I had let down. Maybe he wished to speak with me or pay for the latte I should have ordered. A word of advice: the inside of Starbucks isn’t nice anymore, nor is it nice to wait around for drinks in there, you will only feel weird if you spend more than the time it takes to grab a coffee and go and now they are trying to fix how stupid you will feel if you go inside thinking it’s a good idea, now there is a doorman to remind you of how fun it is to be old about this stuff.

Apps and Starbucks are equally as stupid if you ask me. I apologize, I can’t do either in good faith. That would be like subscribing to hell.

I wrote off the good-natured fifty-something hotty cause he had blue eyes and the man who started the fifty-something craze in my heart-step was boue-eyed. Awwwwww