Covid Christmas
By: Virendra Vase
Tags: Faith, Loss, Christmas, Joy, Grief

Covid Christmas

Grief, Loss, Disappointment, coupled with Faith, Hope, and Joy.

As I sit here on Christmas eve and reflect on Christmas in the year of the pandemic, I am flooded with a whole bunch of emotions. From the disappointment of what it could have been, to the grief and loss of what it used to be.

At the same time, I am also reminded of how fortunate I am to have a wife, kids, family, home, food, shelter, health, and the list goes on. Does this mean I ignore the past and live in the future, or do I live in the past and forget what I have now?

On the one hand, we can’t have our past define us, but at the same time, we cannot ignore it. It is like driving a car, looking at the rearview mirror, where the rear mirror is our past. We glance at the past only to help go in the right direction in the front. Solely focusing on the rearview mirror can adversely affect where we go in the front, while completely ignoring it can affect how you proceed forward.

I find peace and strength in the balance and beauty of the “BOTH-AND”. Both acknowledge the loss of not experiencing what it used to be AND at the same time acknowledging with gratitude the things I do have AND at the same time, experience the joy of Christmas.

I would like to do this well, where I do not swing to one extreme or another, but rather be balanced in the BOTH-AND.

How do we grieve well or process our loss and disappointment?

Ed Khouri, the author of Restarting, Belonging, and co-author of Joy Starts Here, came up with a new word to use instead of addictions that actually broadens our word picture to include many other things. He calls them

BEEPS: Behaviors, Events, Experiences, People, or Substances that we attach to INSTEAD of attaching to people and God in joy.

BEEPS are our brain’s way of trying to get what it needs. Another common way that I used to deal with negative emotions (and sometimes do so now), is to *stuff* them, which is also not a healthy way of dealing with grief.

A healthy way of dealing with negative emotions

WHAT does Christ ask of us?

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

HOW do we come to Him?

I think the first is to acknowledge our feelings. In the 12 step movement, they say the first step to recovery is to “acknowledge the problem.” To name the emotion, you are feeling. God spoke of David as “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Sam 13:14), and though imperfect, he cried out to the Lord. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1).

Take it to the Lord in prayer and be honest with Him about how you are feeling. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior, and my God. Ps 43:5

How do I appreciate the things I do have and why?

Appreciation is a brain skill that can, well, change our brain! Appreciation is one of the easiest skills to start practicing because most of us have already experienced it in the form of gratitude and thankfulness. Appreciation is what Chris Coursey calls “packaged joy” that can be remembered and shared anytime, even when circumstances do not bring us joy.

Dr. Jim Wilder, shares that feeling five minutes of appreciation three times a day over thirty days can change our outlook on life and reset the nervous system to run on joy.

Looking forward to the JOY of Christmas

If you are like me, you have heard the Christmas story many times, which can make me gloss over his birth as JUST a historical event rather than one that changed the course of history AND one through which Jesus wants to engage with me at a personal level.

This Christmas, I have been pondering what it truly means for Jesus to come down as a man and why? Why would Jesus give up his position at the right hand of the Father and humble himself to become a man? (Phil 2:8). And the way He came, as a baby in a manger. Not a lot of fanfare, but just quiet and with shepherds. There is such a strong message of humility that I take away from the Christmas story. As well as Faith. Faith to know and believe that as I follow Jesus’s example, He will complete what He has started (Phil 1:6)

Are you grieving something or disappointed about how Christmas or the holidays is showing up this year? How can you find the JOY this Christmas?

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