For Men To Become Gender-Equal: Some Real Actions
Tags: Metoo, Women, Womens Rights, Feminism, Harassment

For some time now, I was mindful of the topic of feminism and what stands behind it.

After reading the book ”Invisible Women” by Caroline Criado Perez, I became aware of some things that never occurred to me.

Men usually say they know what gender equality is about and say they support it a lot. The truth is: it is half-hearted and useless. If you are that advanced, answer this question convincingly: What do you do to be gender equal?

We speak about fighting discrimination against ethnicities or queer people. But we overlook the fact that we are in a world where half of the population is discriminated.

Before we continue, a word of attention. This article is written by a man. So you won’t be able to blame a woman for the words in here.

Also, there will be some ugly truths to find in this article.

Ready to take some serious steps and lose your sexist personality? Here we go.

Get the hang of the other sex

This one might have come to your mind. But somehow you don’t follow it.

In any conversation, have you ever asked yourself, what would a woman have to say about this?

That is what I am talking about. Women are mainly underrepresented in executive levels. And still, no one asks for their opinion. So here is your chance. Maybe you don’t dare to do it because you are too intimidated by all the men in the room. Then at least ask yourself if a woman would like what is said and try to turn the conversation around.

Try this framework for everything. Is it a man? Could it also have been a woman? Why isn’t it a woman? What would a woman do?

And a small thinking exercise: imagine all the male-typical roles were done by women. Policewomen, dust-women, female mathematicians, or construction workers. How would that world look like?

Dig into the female world

How many famous women do you know?

There are some great singers, actors, politicians, and activists out there. But history brought up some other great females that changed the world.

According to history extra, there are a few that had a significant impact on our world. You may know Marie Curie. But what about Laura Bassi, Marie Marvingt, or Frida Kahlo?

Have you ever heard about Mileva Marić? A mastermind that could have achieved great things if a certain man wouldn’t have suppressed her. That man’s name was Albert Einstein.

Very often men like to back men as winners. And winners write history.

Don’t blame yourself for not knowing too much about the women in our history. Usually, the schools have a male bias here. But blame yourself for keeping it that way.

Look in other areas as well. Like football (soccer) which is far more interesting because here, oddly though, women play the way we would expect it from men.

As a girl or woman, you have to wear makeup with cute pink dresses to be attractive to men. Anyone who is out of the typical scheme is not accepted. So all women follow. And a huge industry makes money from it, using influencers to show how women should behave.

I invite you to dig deeper into the topic.

Are police uniforms unisex or in reality male-oriented? Are medicaments tested equally on women and men? How many women are getting raped, simply by not having their private bathroom? Is work safety also in nail salons, which are female worker dominated and has a lot of chemical exposure, an issue?

Let the curiosity flow and get out of this limited men’s world.

Take over a gender-typical activity

Now I come to the part where I challenge you. Men love challenges, so this should be a motivation for you.

First of all, I want to know if you are stuck in the past. Our grandparents were used to a system where the man goes to work, the woman stays home. Grandma had the job to care for the children and keep the home organized. It isn’t a modern lifestyle but still more common than one might think. However, this “tradition” is also manifested in our DNA. Washing clothes, preparing dinner, cleaning the house, childcare, and so on is typical for women.

Fun fact here: did you ever notice how we say cooking is for women, but the chefs on TV shows are mainly male? Ask yourself why…

Anyhow, the challenge is pretty simple. Do all the tasks that usually your woman is doing.

It is not a woman’s job, except it requires a vagina.

That may even mean to stay on parental leave as a man so your woman can progress her career. It is called parental leave. Not motherhood leave.

Now, you might say you can’t do it. You had a crazy day at work. You are exhausted. You need to relax.

Well, guess what … your partner is in the same situation and is still doing it. So get your ass up. Or at least show more gratitude for getting pampered!

Get the monkey under control

Whenever you see primitive and utter uncivilized behavior, a man is likely to be guilty.

Screaming, fighting, making tons of money, materializing women, and much more. Any kind of behavior to show power and superiority is needed for those animals. To compete on this behavior is the ridiculous standard.

Imagine women walking in the street, grabbing their vaginas when a man is passing by. It would be weird, right? Some would even call that woman a bitch for doing so. Why isn’t it the same with men?

There is a perception of the “weaker” sex. For being the weaker sex I think it is suspicious that women have a longer life expectancy than men. And again, this is old-fashioned thinking. In a world where we work more and more with our brain instead of muscles.

Start behaving, man! You don’t prove anything with an orangutan behavior — except that you are one.

Nothing is wrong with showing empathy. No woman wants to be treated as an object. Being understanding is by far more attractive to the other sex. Or do you seriously think catcalling a woman will make you the guy of her dreams?

By the way, showing emotions is also okay with your bros. It might transform your relationship on a deeper and more comfortable level. And monkeys become finally more intelligent species called humans.

Watch your mouth

After you got rid of the monkey, you may try to go into detail.

Our everyday language is designed to undermine women. It is hard to spot. And even women themselves have a problem choosing the right words.

As a thumb of rule, you can say that words of power are male-biased. Think about a leader. Was it a man?

Whereas a “management person” is less prejudiced.

When you greet someone you might say “Hi guys”. While it is pretty uncommon to say “Hi girls”. This excludes women in a rather unobvious but systematic way. Be better by simply replacing it with “Hey people” or “Hi all”.

Another more obvious example is the expression “to cry like a girl” or “to throw like a girl”. There are men who cry more, and women who throw better. So don’t use those expressions.

Just take care of what you say and if it is in any kind discriminating. Always observe and question yourself.

There are also cool tools out there to check your wording. For instance, when writing an email you could use the Gender Decoder.

Some other things to do

So now we have already a few ideas on how you can really support women. By understanding the women’s world and speaking about it. By helping in the household, by behaving appropriately and choosing your words the right way.

Here a small list if you desire to do even more:

Wear more pink or rose clothes

Participate in the breast cancer awareness month

March with women at demonstrations

Ask your boss to take actions for gender equality

Donate to women organizations

Share apps like “Eyewatch SOS for Women”

Read more about women rights and gender inequality

Educate your children to be more respectful to women

…and there is much more.

Last words

Our world is male-biased in a lot of aspects.

It leaves many women with low self-esteem. It is on you to build it up. Stand up against the stereotypes. Be an ambassador.

I often see comedians or movies using gender differences, making fun of women. Taking a look at the audience, you don’t just see men laugh. That is how deeply discrimination is rooted in our society.

Draw attention to misbehavior. Some women actually believe they are the weaker sex, putting themselves in the role of a victim. Exactly those you should defend. Some situations might be funny for men but are scary for women. Always try to keep that in mind and do things within reason.

Children see how you behave and catch up on it. Meaning, girls will accept their inferior role. Start helping in the household instead of being out playing. You can make a significant change here. Grow a strong and just woman who can pass that value on. That is something to be proud of.

When you are in a group, don’t laugh about lame blonde jokes. Speak with your buddies and educate.

Change the world, my friend. You just read the starter pack. Time to take some action.