My fin-de-2020 learnings
By: Jeffrey Denny
Tags: Political, Political Satire, Commentary, Trump, 2020

My fin-de-2020 learnings

Lessons finally spanked into me.

Jeffrey Denny

You see, Billy Mumphrey was a simple country boy. Some might say a cockeyed optimist. — Elaine Benes

I’ve been too long gone from Ohio — 46 years now — to call myself a simple country boy.

I’ve been too long living in Washington, DC — 34 years now — to be a cockeyed optimist.

Yet somehow I maintained my unbridled enthusiasm for my fellow humans.

2020 fortunately has provided veritable spanking machine, teaching me how stupid I have been. My greatest lessons learned:

1. Yes, Jeffrey, MAGAs do run America.

Under Trump, MAGAs have controlled the White House, the U.S. Senate, nearly half the House and also the Supreme Court majority, and held the entire Republican Party hostage.

Even after Trump helicopter-evacuates the White House like after the fall of Saigon, MAGAs who hate government will continue to control government, missing the irony.

Every terrible, horrible, no good, very bad thing Trump has done to America he has done for his MAGAs. They love it — the worse, the better.

Republicans fear the MAGAs. Fox, America’s #1 news source, panders to them. MAGAs have become America’s greatest influencers, more powerful than the Kardashians, making our political discourse nastier.

In journalism, you “follow the money.” In politics, you “follow the power.”

While MAGAs are a minority, their power is turbocharged by Republican gerrymandering and Republican elites that leverage them for tax and regulation cuts, which don’t help but mostly hurt MAGAs first and worst.

Lesson learned: American democracy allows the worst people to drive our nation over the cliff, like Toonses, the Cat Who Could Drive a Car.

2. Proclaimed Christians don’t always act Christian.

People who love Jesus say the meanest, nastiest, ugliest things on Facebook when their fellow Americans question their president.

Lesson learned: Pious Christians don’t always respect WWJD.

3. Even a vile, foul monster can be President of the United States.

To paraphrase the late Boris Karloff:

You’re a mean one, Mr. Trump

You really are a heel

You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Trump.

You’re a bad banana with a … greasy black peel!

You know the rest.

Lesson learned: Some Americans don’t care if the president’s soul — to quote Mr. Karloff — is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots!

4. McCarthyism is still alive and well in America.

Many Americans have fallen for the Republican fear tactic that a Democrat progressive AOC Socialist lurks under every bed and — while difficult from under a bed — will puppeteer moderate Joe Biden to take away our freedoms and monies.

Lesson learned: P.T. Barnum, RIP, is still right about suckers.

5. Facts? We don’t need no stinkin’ facts.

Like wearing a mask saves lives, Trump lost in a landslide, climate disaster is real, etc.

Lesson learned: No matter how overwhelming the objective proof, as the great 21st century philosopher George Costanza said, “it’s not a lie, if you believe it.”

6. Insecurity is the most powerful force in the universe.

An old good friend wisely said this years ago.

Insecurity becomes dangerous when the insecure lash out.

Without struggling through “Hillbilly Elegy,” the movie, we know heartland Americans without college degrees are suffering as the 21st century global tech economy has killed countless industrial jobs, towns, lives and American Dreams.

It’s natural to blame when feeling shame. Along comes Trump, acting like Robin Williams/Sean Maguire assuring Matt Damon/Will Hunting “it’s not your fault” — but cynically playing the MAGAs for political gain by blaming their plight on liberal coastal elites, immigrants, other nonwhites, the mainstream media, etc. While doing nothing discernable for his MAGAs.

Lesson learned: The insecure may be succored by blaming, but it doesn’t help.

7. There’s a sucker for a dictator born every minute.

Trump became president by taking advantage of underclass resentment, as Socialist dictators do.

Lesson learned: MAGAs may hate Socialism unless they love Socialist-style authoritarianism when it’s their authoritarian.

8. MAGAs don’t get a pass for hurting America.

I tried, and I tried, and I tried, and I tried, but I can’t get no satisfaction that MAGAs are the patriots they proclaim to be, but rather rebels without a cause or clue who are destroying America.

I realize that thinking, “Poor dears, bless their hearts, they don’t know any better” might be my coastal elite condescension acting up.

Which, sorry, I think the professional media has done. Pundits love attacking Trump and his hilariously craven Republicans and media as they so richly deserve.

But too often the media gives the poor white MAGAs running America a pass. Perhaps in fealty to the old journalism principle, “comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable.”

Certainly Trump’s base is afflicted. But to quote one of the 25 Spiderman movies, with great power comes great responsibility to use power wisely. And accountability if you use power destructively.

For example, by cheering Trump’s despicable behavior and disgraceful performance as president. Or by sending death threats and storming the homes of public officials — elected by fellow Americans — in armed protest when they do their jobs, or cheering them. Or goading Trump to try to destroy our democracy by fighting the will of the people.

Lesson learned: No more pity for hateful MAGAs.

***

So, as we close 2020 and soon cleanse Trump’s nasty skid mark from the tidy-whities of American history, no more Mister Nice Guy.

No more understanding pat on the head when mean people suck. No more “defining deviancy down” or “soft bigotry of low expectations.”

This simple cockeyed optimist from Ohio, from here on out, will treat Trumpism like the Covid, a virulent and deadly disease that I trust America will fight and eventually beat. Just like we beat every bad thing that happens to America.

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.