Why I’m Thankful for 2020 — Yes, You Read That Correctly
By: Jamie Marquis
Tags: Bias, BlackLivesMatter, 2020

I’ve done a lot of things in the last ten years: served in the Army, was a travel nurse, got an MBA, started a second career, and lived in 6 states. I don’t desire to write a book bout the life experience that I’ve accumulated; I’ll just regurgitate on Medium instead. But in those ten years, no year has been more formative for me than 2020. Though I’ve never spent so much time within the walls of my apartment as I have this year, I’ve learned more and been more open to learning things than ever before.

It’s also important to note that I recognize this was an awful year for many, many people. Sadly, people experienced death, job loss, poverty, and many had their lives forever changed. In no way do I believe that people need to “see the good” in their 2020 experience. I wish for nothing but healing and hope for those impacted negatively by 2020 as we roll into 2021.

I grew up in an upper middle class family, living in white areas of Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Washington State. The first diversity that I experienced was in junior high, having attended a college prep school with a heavy Asian population. Like many moderate-conservative white households, we didn’t really discuss race or privilege and were taught to just treat all people equally. I carried this into my adult life, thinking that I just needed to work hard to get myself places in life, while just being nice to people.

As the years progressed, Black Lives Matter and the notion of white privilege began to emerge, and it was something that I generally ignored. I’d worked hard my whole life in my schooling and professional career, and believed that people were just trying to blame me for my hard work and professional risks: I studied hard and got my associates degree in high school, I joined the military to pay for school, I moved away from my family and friends to pursue my career, and I pursued additional education when I wanted to change my career. In terms of BLM, I’d never personally seen violence or brutality towards BIPOC, so I believed that it didn’t exist. I also, sadly, believed that all lives matter and thought that BLM was trying to say that their lives were more important.

Fast forward to this year, I became finally ready to listen and learn. Social media has allowed me to remain connected to former work and grad school colleagues, who began sharing information, stories, and experiences, which began to open my eyes. These are people that I trust and admire. I can’t say what specifically flipped that switch in my brain, but I learned that being nice wasn’t being anti-racist. I realized that my privilege had nothing to do with my work ethic; privilege allowed me to not experience barriers due to my race, skin color, or financial situation.

On a more contentious note for some, I voted for a democratic presidential candidate for the first time. I didn’t vote in 2016 because I didn’t like either candidate and figured because I didn’t have a strong opinion, that I just shouldn’t cast a vote. This summer, I was having a political discussion with a conservative friend, who rattled off a list of reasons that I should vote for Trump because of things that would affect me if Biden won. The accuracy of her statements isn’t important, but this year I realized that I can vote for things that don’t always best benefit me. I am privileged enough to have what I want and need. I can vote for things that are going to help others who are in need, and I can use my vote to say no to bigotry and hate in the White House.

Please don’t think that looking for a pat on the back — I don’t deserve that. By sharing this, I’m hoping that others who are in a similar situation will take a bit of time to explore their biases and beliefs. How are your biases and beliefs affecting others? What can you do for others to help their lives? If you are a Christian, examine how your faith asks you to do that. Is what you’re doing right now actually reflecting being Christ-like?

I recognize that I still have a long way to go. Thank you to those who educated me this year. I’m in a place of awareness currently and will continue to work to affect change, whether that’s in having difficult discussions, donating money, or speaking up. I’m looking towards 2021 to continue to be open to learning, consuming educational content, and recognizing my privilege. And I’m hoping that this story will allow at least one person to start listening more, be open to learning, and start to change your behavior.