What about empathy?
By: Andreea Popescu
Tags: User Experience, Ts, UX, Interaction Design, Product Design

Empathetic vs. Sympathetic vs. Empathic: https://www.grammarly.com/blog/empathetic/

*being a non-native English speaker, this article may have language mistakes.

I read these days a research paper called “A concept analysis of empathy” that, actually, made me write this article. In the last couple of years, in different circumstances, I met many UX professionals and I observed that the main characteristic that they actually had was sympathy, not empathy as they claimed.

Right now, in the UX field, it is a trend to say that you are having empathy for the end user, but in reality, many people really don’t know what empathy is and what this actually implies. It is known that empathy is not something that you are saying you have and in the next moment you will have it, it is something that can be built or acquired from different experiences.

What’s empathy?

Empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings, and condition from his or her point of view, rather than from one’s own. Empathy facilitates pro-social or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced, so that people behave in a more compassionate manner. (Psychology Today)

Unfortunately, from when we were kids we weren’t taught about empathy and having mercy. Instead of it, we were taught to be competitive and the best in everything, sometimes, forgetting that are other around us. If we are lucky enough, we may be taught about pity and/or sympathy, but those are not the most often cases.

Empathy is not an ability it is one of the most important characteristics a person can have. Even it can be built through a lot of exercises it is important to not reach a point in which you say “now I am an empathetic person”. Empathy is like a rare stone that you can have it in raw shape, but for use it, you need to have a good shape. Also, it is valuable to spend some time analyzing the interactions with others, to see if in those moments we felt pity, sympathy, empathy or compassion.

Developing empathy

I guess I was a lucky kid because my mom raised me with helping others mindset. She taught me that it is very important to understand why other people are behaving in a way or another, and also to not judge them, but being there for them. So, I had the bricks, and all the years that come after that, I start developing empathy, to build it as a bricklayer builds a wall. But, the apogee came after I got sick and I started spending my time on the hospitals’ hallways. In those moments, I’ve heard stories, I’ve seen desperate eyes, I’ve seen sad faces, and I’ve felt others pain like it was mine. Those moments were wake-up calls in that direction, and I meditated a lot on them. I developed a strong empathy for sick people and, somehow, I developed empathy for myself, too.

“When we experience empathic concern or feel compassion toward others, we become the first to benefit.”

I’ve learned that empathy makes you kinder and a better listener. Those were two features that helped me further not only on my professional path but also on my personal life.

Empathy in UX Design

Nowadays, I’ve read the article by Don Norman “Why I Don’t Believe in Empathic Design”, an article I really recommend you to read it. Why did I mention it? Well, because I agree with the point Don Norman has. It is impossible to listen to the opinion of every user we have, to be in their shoes, and to create a product that no matter who will use it, it will be 100% applying to his/her needs. But, let’s face it… nowadays it is pretty cool to name the fact that you have empathy, and you are awesome that you are doing that… and this is pretty amazing, but… as UX Designers we should be realistic, to have empathy (it is a mandatory characteristic for us which will help us in many ways), but not say that everything is based on empathy because are decisions that we take that are not so close to it. We should try not to be so cool or use a word just because it is a buzz word, but actually, to feel what we are doing, to be passionate, and to have a mindset in which, empathy, is also included among other things (I will discuss more about mindset in a future article).