Escaping Abusive Households
By: Tenbite Eshetu
Tags: Homelessness, Abuse, Courage

Photo by my friend, Chris Cuffee.

Experiencing abuse, regardless of what part of their life it is coming from, is a traumatic matter that sticks with somebody for as long as they live. The matter of abuse is a broad subject and is able to disguise itself in many different forms. This subject is something that I have always been passionate about. However, my personal connection to an abusive situation and doing everything in my power to free someone from it has made me even more passionate about what I’m preparing to discuss. My closest friend experiences abuse from her own family. Living her life with a mentally and sometimes physically abusive father and trying to escape it has created curiosities and a passion inside of me to do everything in my power to help younger generations escape abusive households and environments, in order to live a life of mental sanity. The biggest hope I have for myself is to be able to create a program that helps people find shelter and set up a life for themselves if they are to leave an abusive situation. I want to be able to provide financial stability and help people who just left abusive relationships get back on their feet if money is the issue. If fear of abuser is the issue, I want to be able to provide safety, counseling, and reassurance to the people who were strong enough to leave and make the fear disappear from the ones who have’t left yet, and give them courage to get out.

As I discussed earlier, abuse comes in many different forms. It can be physical and mental. Some people face abuse in their romantic relationships, others face it from their family and other environments like their workplace or friendships. Being in an abusive situation is a difficult thing to escape no matter who in your life it is coming from. My hope comes from seeing somebody face mental and physical abuse from their own parents. The thought that immediately crossed my mind was how thankful I was that my friend was grown, mature and independent enough to support herself and free herself from the situation as soon as she could. However, I also couldn’t stop thinking about people who aren’t as fortunate as her. There are people, especially younger people from ages 18–25, who are living in abusive households that don’t have the means to escape. The source of this issue can be financial fear as well as mental fear. Getting out of an abusive relationship can be scary in some situations because of the fear of how the abuser might react. Other fear escaping abusive situations because they are not financially able to afford it.Minors are also victims of abuse, mostly from their parents. Whether it is mental or physical, parental abuse is also an issue that needs to be addressed. It is important that these minors get the assistance that they need before it is too late, so that their lives don’t make a turn for the wrong. A journal about minors who suffer from abuse specifies that it takes a greater mental toll on them as they have to “suffer in silence.” This is because the chances of these children actually having someone to talk to and reach our for help is very unlikely.

The National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty reports that domestic violence and abuse are one of the top 5 causes of homelessness in the United States. There are younger people between the ages of 18–25 who leave their parents’ or romantic partners’ homes in order to escape abuse and end up not being able to build a life for themselves. The lack of assistance that the United States government provides for victims of abusive causes the spike in homelessness, poverty, and death. Abuse is also directly related to people with serious mental issues and the habit of substance abuse. It is also important to note that abuse is a hard experience to recover from. In situations where people left abuse and ended up in a better life, it has been proven that they had a difficult time creating social relationships and moving on completely from their past trauma. A piece from the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry states that positive social relationships are crucial for people who have a past of abuse in their recovery process. This also applies to recovery from substance abuse, homelessness, etc. Although positive social relationships contribute to recovery, they won’t help completely erase the trauma.

There are many factors that contribute to the financial fear that takes over when trying to get away from abuse. The lack of assistance from the United States government is the main issue contributing. There are very minimal assistance programs from the government to help abuse victims. Human Rights Careers also states that independence is made more difficult and homelessness has become more common because of the nation’s lack of employment, stagnant wages, lack of affordable housing, lack of affordable healthcare, etc. Mental assistance such as counseling and building social relations are just as important as financial assistance. Schizophrenia research specifies the direct link between mental and physical abuse and PTSD. Getting the mental support that they need is going to make a massive contribution in helping victims of abuse recover.

In conclusion, my biggest hope if to be able to help victims of abuse, mainly between the ages of 18–25, find the financial and mental assistance that they need. I want to be able to give the victims that are too scared to leave, hope and courage to go through with it. I want to be able to create a sense of safety in every victim so that they can move on to a better life. Abuse is an issue that is driving people in their young ages to homelessness, substance abuse, poverty, death, etc, and needs to come to an end.