If You’re Not Using Dildos, You’re Missing Out
By: Emma Austin
Tags: Sexuality, Life, Sex, Self, Women

A year ago, I had acquired almost every kind of sex toy. Except a dildo.

I don’t think of masturbation as a substitute for sex. It’s why I do it even when I’m not really in the mood to jump my husband. It’s why I miss jilling off if I haven’t done it for a while, no matter how much sex I’ve been having.

It’s also the reason I’ve never felt the need to masturbate the same way I fuck.

Fucking my husband involves a lot of foreplay. It involves some bondage, a few sex toys, and plenty of dirty talk. But penetration is the centerpiece.

As much as I love all of the other things we do and as essential as they are, I almost always want to end things on a good hard fuck.

The initial penetration is brief but it’s one of the best experiences there is. The thrusts that bring me to an orgasm are exquisite. And all of the fucking that happens in between overwhelms me with pleasure so much that I can’t help but moan and shout.

But I never bothered with penetrative play when I was by myself. I come the hardest from clit stimulation, so I didn’t really see the point in using anything but vibrators to get myself off.

It didn’t help that my first experience with dildos was kind of lackluster.

I was excited when I discovered an online sex shop, but some of the color drained out of that excitement once I started clicking through page after page of sex toys. There were so many options and I didn’t have a clue where to begin.

I decided to narrow down my selection by making a list of my criteria.

It should be shaped like a cock, because at least I kind of knew how to use a cock.

It should vibrate because that’s what sex toys do, right?

It should also be big, because most young girls are naive enough to think that this is an extremely important feature.

And I wanted it to be cute, because nothing makes me giddier than something adorable.

I ordered the only toy that fit that description. A sparkly purple vibrating dildo that was as long as a forearm and thicker than a first sex toy has any right to be.

Using it was a challenge to say the least. I could get the tip of the toy inside me, but anything beyond that was a bit of a challenge. The slow, shallow thrusts I managed to give myself felt good but took so much effort.

What didn’t, though, was resting the toy on my clit. The best part of fucking myself with it wasn’t the fucking at all — it was the moments I spent rubbing the toy against my pussy to warm myself up. The way the purple silicone felt when it moved across my pink lips was better than the way it felt when I pushed it inside me.

Then I turned it on and I felt like I was being electrified with pleasure. Feeling the toy’s vibrations against my clit was a life-changing moment. It was an entirely new sensation and one that I already didn’t want to give up.

I didn’t care how dong-shaped my toy was, it only had one function to me.

I did away with the phallic toys completely. All of my next purchases were bullet vibrators. The vibrations were all I wanted, so I bought toys that didn’t do anything but pack a lot of motorized buzzing in a small package.

I eventually decided to treat myself to a bunny vibrator. It was a little more expensive but I was curious about what those little silicone ears could do.

Turns out they could do a lot. The vibrations were the perfect strength. The toy spread out the stimulation very nicely. But most importantly, its shape meant I could ride it the same way I used to hump pillows and stuffed animals to orgasm.

Even though this one was perfect, I knew I would buy more sex toys in the future. Curiosity would get the better of me and I would want to try out a few new things. But I was absolutely certain that I would never buy a dildo. There just wasn’t any point.

Then the Ghost Dick made its way into my life.

The Dildo That Wobbled Its Way Into My Life

The Ghost Dick is just a regular dildo. It’s shaped like a cock, with a modest head and a veiny texture, and a pair of silicone balls at the base to complete the picture.

But it’s a sex toy that had a lot of significance because it was meant to represent someone.

At the time I bought it, I had been involved with a guy who sent me lots of flirty, sexual emails often with highly appealing and aesthetically pleasing dick pics attached to them.

Those exchanges made me extremely horny. I fantasized about him a lot and I wanted a way to make those fantasies even more vivid.

So, I asked him for his measurements and ordered a dildo that fit them.

It was something I could put my mouth on when I thought about what it would be like to blow him. It would give me a sense of what stroking him would feel like. And more importantly, I could read his dirty emails and thrust the toy inside me, feeling the exact dimensions of his cock while I dreamt about fucking him.

The postal service moves quickly, but unfortunately for me it’s no match for how fast an emotionally unavailable guy can change his mind.

By the time the dildo showed up at my doorstep, my flirty friend had moved on. He was done with whatever we had.

I was heartbroken, sad, and the owner of a toy that didn’t really make sense anymore.

I dubbed it the Ghost Dick because the cock it was meant to represent wasn’t part of my life anymore.

The thrill of using it was gone. The fantasies it was meant to make more authentic were gone. The person I was going to use it to feel closer to is someone I needed to learn to distance myself from. I didn’t see any point in it anymore.

I stuck it in the back of my dresser drawer where I wouldn’t see it anymore. And that’s where it stayed until I started paying attention to my strongest orgasms.

Chasing Those Blended Orgasms

If there’s one thing that changed my mind about dildos, it’s blended orgasms.

Clitoral orgasms have always been my jam — still are. But I started realizing that there were a few things that made them better.

The slow and steady buildup I got from pussy massages made me come really hard.

So did the first orgasm I was allowed to have after being edged a few times.

But a lot of my strongest, most satisfying orgasms weren’t exactly from clitoral stimulation. They were blended orgasms I got from enjoying multiple types of sexual stimulation at once.

They’re the ones I get when my husband sucks on my nipples while crooking his fingers to rub against my G-spot.

They’re the ones I get when his tongue runs circles around my clit while his finger gently thrusts into my ass.

And I get them very reliably when both his hands are at work, fingering and rubbing my pussy at the same time.

Some of my absolute favorite blended orgasms, though, came from getting fucked. It wasn’t him pounding into me that got me off the hardest. It’s when he found a good tempo with his cock and reached around to slowly rub circles around my clit with his fingers.

It felt so much better than getting fucked. But more impressively, it made the clit stimulation feel even more intense.

I started wondering if there was a way for me to recreate that powerful sensation when I was on my own.

That was the Ghost Dick’s time to shine.

Enough time had passed since the Ghost Dick earned its name. It had gone from a toy that made me feel sad, to one that made me feel weird, and now it was just a silicone cock without a whole lot of feelings attached to it.

When I had an hour to myself, I locked the bedroom door and reached in the back of the drawer for it and a few other sex toys.

I found some really hot porn and touched my body softly while I watched it. Once I was horny enough to play, I dripped a thin stream of lube on the dildo and stroked it to run the slick liquid all over it.

Running my hand over it felt arousing, like it was activating the parts of my brain that light up when I’m giving an actual handjob.

I rubbed my pussy with the fingers that were wet with lube and then rubbed the dildo against my vulva. The bumpy ridges from the veiny texture were surprisingly stimulating and I got even more excited about having it in me.

I was wet and ready when it slid into me. I didn’t feel the same exhilaration that I do from the initial thrust of a cock, but I felt a jolt of pleasure that kept intensifying as I fucked myself with the toy.

I picked up my phone, slid my finger up the screen, and tapped the camera app. I hovered it over my waist, angling it so I could get a good look at the action. And what I saw was really fucking hot. Watching that wet dildo thrusting into me was such an arousing sight, I could’ve spent all my me-time staring at that little screen.

But I put down the phone after a few minutes. I wanted to get back to business.

I thrust the dildo faster, letting my instincts guide the pace and depth. I felt the pleasure mounting and bucked my hips while pushing the toy into me some more.

After hiding in the dark for a couple of months, the Ghost Dick had finally made me come.

I was already impressed. It wasn’t as strong or as satisfying as a clitoral orgasm would’ve been, but it was definitely something that was worth working for.

I half-watched the stepdad scenario that was playing out on my laptop while I tried to give myself even more pleasure. This time, I had both hands involved — fucking myself with the dildo while rubbing my clit.

Getting both going is harder than it looks, and I found myself slowing down one hand when I didn’t mean to and almost forgetting to push the dildo into my pussy when I got lost in all the fun my clit was having.

All that faltering didn’t matter, because I got there and I got there fast. I breathed a surprised and highly satisfied sigh once my breath came back.

I reached for a vibrator to see just how far I could take this little experiment.

This was a lot easier. The buzzing on the clit did its magic and all I had to do was hold the little bunny in place. My other hand did all the work — gripping the dildo around its firm balls and fucking myself faster than I thought I could manage.

I felt my forearm getting sore but I also felt myself not giving a goddamn fuck. I wasn’t going to stop now. I powered through the discomfort until all I could feel was pure pleasure. My entire pussy was getting stimulated inside and out and the pleasure built up fast.

My hand only slowed down when all my muscles started tensing. I tried my best to keep the pace going, but it was hopeless. My hips were twisting and bucking and all I could do was try give myself a few slow half-thrusts while I came.

That was it. It wasn’t just an incredible orgasm. It wasn’t just one of the best masturbation sessions I had in a very long time. It was the moment I broke my monogamous relationship with vibrators and fell in love with dildos.

A Year of Dildos

I haven’t stopped experimenting. After years without even owning a dildo, I’ve been acquiring new ones, appreciating how different they all are, and make very frequent use of them.

When I line up my sex toys for a really fine masturbation session, there’s always at least one that’s designed for penetration.

They came especially handy when I started shooting porn as an occasional hobby.

Filming myself undressing, using vibrators, and going at myself with my fingers is a lot of fun. But nothing beats the visuals I get with a dildo. I can suck on them, use one to give myself a pussyjob, and the aesthetics of penetration are incredible.

I even found myself buying something I never thought I would even consider — an absolutely massive dildo.

I could ride my suction cup dildos just fine, but I wasn’t getting good angles when I filmed it. So, I wanted something long. Like, over a foot long.

Turns out you can’t get a dildo that long without it also being intimidatingly thick. To my surprise, even that one has been great to use. It takes more work to get it in, but visually the results are fantastic. I can’t get it in very far, it makes me feel very stretched out, but it still felt good. Though I still can’t imagine reaching for that one unless there’s a camera rolling.

I also got a squishy, floppy, slim blue dildo for ass play. I had buttplugs and I loved them, but I found myself missing the deep thrusts that I get to enjoy when my ass is getting fucked. With this wobbly one, I can give myself the same kind of sensation when I’m on my own.

I’ve also incorporated them into my couple play.

My husband bought me a popsicle-style dildo because I’m still the girl who insisted that her first sex toy be a purple sparkly cock. It’s adorable, and it feels even better than it looks. My husband will fuck me with it while I try to imagine how many of its rainbow colored stripes are going inside me.

Having him use it on me makes the pleasure even stronger. He can also thrust faster and harder than his cock can or than I can manage when playing with dildos on my own.

It also enabled some threesome roleplay that’s been really fucking hot. I have a recurring fantasy of having someone eat me out while someone else fucks me. With a dildo and his tongue, Mr. Austin can make that daydream turn into a physically intense reality.

My fanciest dildos, though, are the ones that fuck me without much assistance from myself.

One is a thrusting dildo that does all the physical work for me. The other is a full sex machine that is even more versatile. Being able to use them hands-free is a luxury I’d rather not have to give up. If my other dildos hadn’t won me over, I’m certain these would have.

Add Variety to Your Solo Play

Rediscovering dildos completely changed the way I masturbate.

I’ll sometimes use penetration to get myself started. Other times, I’ll fuck myself until I come.

Other times, I’ll go all out and use a dildo and vibrator at once, like they’re both racing to see who can make me come first. It doesn’t matter in the end, though, because every single time the result is the same — an incredible and highly satisfying climax.

And I almost missed out on this because of a bogus experience with a thick silicone dong back when I was younger.

What I didn’t realize back then is that you don’t have to pick a type of sex toy.

Using a dildo doesn’t mean you don’t get to use a vibrator. It doesn’t mean your clit won’t get any action. All it means is that you’re leveling up the way you jill off.

If you haven’t played with dildos, I strongly recommend you give it a try.

If you can get off from it, give yourself a marathon session with your new toy. Or use it back to back with your vibrator. Better yet, use them together — it takes a bit of coordination but it’s worth it.

You deserve as much pleasure as you can give yourself. So, don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t overthink it. Just fuck yourself well and good with all the toys you want.

This article contains affiliate links to products I love. If you’re only going to own one dildo, I would get the Velvet Mini Thruster Teddy — it’s versatile, automatic, and the texture is unbelievable soft. That’s an affiliate link, too, by the way. If you click on it and make a purchase, I earn a small commission and you will be supporting my work! ❤