Why is it OK to Feel Sad & Ten Ways of How to Deal With It
By: Dr. Nalini Taneja
Tags: Sadness, Resilience, Mental Wellness, Knowledge

Year 2020 has been an interesting and challenging time for all of us. Covid19 has been a huge eye opener to all of us and we have gone through a gamut of emotions trying to deal with it. One emotion that has crossed my path time and again has been that of sadness. And like so many among us. growing up at school or at home I never really learnt a healthy coping mechanism to navigate through sadness. So, I decided to deal with it headlong and these have been my learnings.

Sadness is an emotion that we all experience just like other emotions joy, anger, happiness, frustration and many more. Our life is a mixed bag of emotions and to be able to navigate through them in a thoughtful and positive manner is what constitutes a blissful life.

So, let us take a minute to think about the different words we use for sadness — broken, unhappy, sorrow, dejection, hurt, feeling let down, agony among others. I have used all these words and some more to express what I have been experiencing. We are trying to express our frustration to not be our usual happy self. And we find it difficult to manage and work with our sadness.

How does sadness feel like?

If you think about sadness, it is usually a result of another feeling we are going through. We could be dejected that we did not fare well in exams, or someone did not appreciate our hard work or we are missing a loved one or our old way of doing things.

Physically we may not be well. Some sort of physical discomfort, maybe a headache or having period pain or did not get enough sleep. We may be feeling bored or frustrated. There could be lots of reasons for feeling sadness. They may include some of these:

Covid19 situation, a complete disruption of our way of living

Feeling pressured at work

Health concerns of yourself or a loved one

Moving houses

Hormonal Issues

Losing a loved one

Dealing with family situations

But the good thing is when we acknowledge what we are going through, we create pathways to deal with it and manage it better. If we allow to acknowledge the feeling, pathways become clear in our mind and heart to deal with it.

Ten ways to deal with your sadness:

First and foremost is for you to remember it is something you can handle. This works like magic for me, for by doing this I empower myself. Realizing at the core level that you are capable of overcoming it, is a huge giant step in the direction of you feeling better. Understanding the reason why you are sad is the second step in feeling better. Write about the reasons why you are feeling the way you do, maybe talking to a friend or a loved one can give you a better understanding of that, by all means talk to someone. Identifying the cause of that sadness is a step that moves the needle in the right direction. Do not be in a rush to get rid of it and brush it under the carpet. You could feel better in a day or it may take more time. Learn to be gentle with yourself. Take your time to deal with your emotions and feelings. Try being creative about it. Write in a journal or color and draw. Make sure you are sleeping well. Create some bedtime rituals that help you sleep better. Lavender and Chamomile are natural sleep enhancers. You could sip a hot cup of Chamomile tea before you sleep or spray a lavender mist on your pillows. Lack of good sleep only complicates things. Take out time for some TLC (tender loving care). Spend time on things that you enjoy. Whatever that you enjoy doing, do it. It could be listening to music or singing in the shower, getting a pedicure done or a body massage, watching your favorite movie or dancing. My go to thing to do is to cook my favorite food — usually something fried and savory. Nature has tremendous healing powers. Take a walk in a park or watch a beautiful sunrise. See nature work its magic. Volunteer your time in helping someone else. When we step forward to offer help to someone else, it lifts our spirits. Provide support to someone else in need. Studies show how when we go beyond thinking of ourselves and taking care of others raise our spirits. Do some research, think of things you care about — it could animals, old people, empowering women and then volunteer to these causes. Do not create a mountain out of a mole hill. Deal with the problem at hand in a focused dedicated manner. Many a times we start to bring together all the grudges that we have in one place, which is truly unnecessary. It is like a digging a deep well which is primarily not required. Take one step at a time. Accepting that problems, challenges are an integral part of life. Not comparing your life and situation with someone else is also very important. Many a times, we exaggerate and overthink the situation. Let go of that tendency. Despite doing all the above if things do not improve, seek professional help. We all face mental challenges-that is the stuff human experience is made of and there is no shame in seeking guidance and help. It is high time we remove the stigma around it.

It is important for you to remember we all go through good and bad times. Some days are better that others. Each of us is quite apt at dealing with the good days but no one teaches us how to deal with life when we feel sad or overwhelmed.

Dealing with our mental wellness is an acquired skill. I learnt it and continue to work on it and so can you. Reminding ourselves of all that we have overcome and how strong we are is a good beginning, Also, to know being grumpy and sad in the long-term steals away from the pure joy of living is a thought you can hold close to your heart.