RANKING ALL THIRTY EIGHT 2018 HORROR FILMS I SAW THIS YEAR
By: Mike Holtz
Tags: 2018, Movies, Horror Movies, Top 10, Halloween

Happy 2019! Here’s a recap of every single 2018 horror movie I was able to watch this past year. Next to each quick recap, you’ll notice a link to either a podcast, video or written review on each one I was able to review this year as well.

Horror had another great year in 2018, capped off by the legendary hype leading up to the return of horror icon Michael Myers. The genre is killing it on all fronts, be it theatrical, VOD, streaming or television. It’s a great time to be a demented fucker. Enjoy it my bloodthirsty friends!

38. Open House

Nothing. Happened. For nearly two goddamn hours. Then in the end….NOTHING HAPPENED. (Full Written Review)

37. Tremors: A Cold Day In Hell

“There is an idea of a Tremors: A Cold Day In Hell; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real movie: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide its cold /gaze, and you can check Netflix and feel flesh gripping the remote and maybe you can even sense it and the original are probably comparable… it simply is not there.” This is me using American Psycho to admit I can’t remember a goddamn thing about this movie.

36. High Voltage

Despite my deep love and respect for David Arquette and Luke Wilson…Seriously, who has pictures of them doing awful things to hookers? They deserve better.

35. The First Purge

Oh, so the good guy we’re supposed to admire and root for is a drug kingpin who turned his hometown into a cocaine toilet? Cool. (Full Podcast Review)

34. Truth or Dare

For some reason this particular version of bubble gum high school horror didn’t piss me off as bad as a film like The Gallows. There was a certain spirit to it that made Truth or Dare not all that un-enjoyable. (Full Podcast Review)

33. The Nun

Man, that Nun is scary AF! Let’s make a National Treasure sequel with her! (Full Video Review)

32. You Might Be The Killer

Meta horror can be fun but not when you get too cute with it. (Much love for Fran Cranz and Alyson Hannigan though)

31. The Meg

Mindless and entertaining enough. The Meg just needed a splash of horror here, an R rating there and a bit more…well….balls. (Full Video Review)

30. The Ranger

A punk horror slasher with a kick ass premise. (Full Written Review)

29. Summer of 84

Way too late and repetitive on the whole 80’s kids and bike riding nostalgia wave but that ending was a nice touch. (Full Video Review)

28. Apostle

For Gods Sake people, choose a storyline and end the fucking movie already! I’ve never went from frightened to napping so fast in my life.

27. Bird Box

Oh shit, dude. We forgot to put the CGI monsters in the movie! Ah fuck it, we’ll just make them invisible and pretend we did it on purpose.

26. CAM

Rad sex horror with a charming lead actress is awesome. I also like endings and explanations though.

25. The Predator

Forty percent the hilarious, badass flick we all had hoped for. The other sixty percent kind of smells like Bigfoot’s dick. (Full Video Review)

24. Terrifier

Bitch, you nasty. You’re good…….but you nasty. (Full Video Review)

23. Mom and Dad

Would have paid the ticket price for the Nicolas Cage mid-life crisis rant alone. (Full Written Review)

22. Insidious: The Last Key

I have a soft spot for Insidious movies and Lin Shaye. There’s just more edge to these movies than anything in the Conjuring universe. (Full Video Review)

21. Hellraiser: Judgement

The biggest surprise of the year and better than it had any right to be. Especially given what they had to work with. (Full Video Review)

20. Looking Glass

I’m the only one on earth who saw this Nicolas Cage movie about a hotel voyeur caught up in a murder investigation. Damn shame, because I liked it a lot. (Full Written Review)

19. Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

Bitch, you nasty part II. This was fun. (Full Video Review)

18. The Night Eats The World

What can we change in our zombie film that will make anyone in the world want to watch another zombie film? Meh, let’s just make them completely silent…… AND IT WORKS.

17. You Were Never Really Here

I love Joaquin Phoenix and this was well made with quick, visceral violence that reminded me of Drive…. but will you please stop fucking mumbling and staring at the floor?

16. Annihilation

There was a lot of unnecessary hubbub getting to the good stuff…. but that bear scene haunts my fucking dreams. (Full Written Review)

15. The Ritual

The Blair Witch Project without the annoyances of found footage. The ending is fascinating…..if it had made sense, The Ritual could’ve touched greatness. (Full Written Review)

14. Revenge

If Nicolas Winding Refn ever made a straight up rape/revenge story it would look like this. EVERYONE BLEEDS SO MUCH.

13. Terrified

The REC of 2018. Wear your brown pants.

12. Unfriended: Dark Web

Why is desktop horror so weirdly satisfying? (Full Video Review)

11. The Cleaning Lady

This stalker flick with a twist has an gnarly spirit about it. There are multiple “oh shit” moments people will be talking about once this flick finds distribution. (Full Written Review)

10. Hell Fest

This is probably not the tenth best horror film to come out this year. Matter of fact, I’ll guarantee it isn’t…but this is my list dammit and this is my tenth favorite horror film of 2018. It was just so nice to see a 90’s style slasher film NOT tied to any previous franchise released on the big screen. The twist at the end was a well crafted microcosm of the entire film. Simple and fun. The entire layout was a natural nostalgia trip to the days of the late 90’s and early 2000’s when Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer by-products were all the rage. We don’t need to relive the entire period but a fun two hour trip was nice.

9. Mandy

I’m well aware of how much higher this will be on most lists. This wasn’t even crazy Cage. This was frenzy Cage. On an unholy level of awesome. Mandy delivered some of the best scenes of the year in any genre. Moments of pure unfiltered cocaine Cage and a macaroni cheddar goblin aside; the first half of the film suffers a bit from the same disease as last years batshit (but fun) film, The Void. There’s a lot of visual meandering that doesn’t feel like it necessarily adds anything substantial to the story line. The parts here are ultimately better than the whole…..but some of the parts were balls on fire awesome. (Full Video Review)

8. The Clovehitch Killer

Dylan Mcdermott will never get the praise he deserves for this role and that’s a goddamn shame. He completely sheds his normal cool dude skin for an awkward sodie pop fueled nerd dad who may or may not be the next BTK. The Clovehitch Killer takes what My Friend Dahmer attempted last year and dunks that shit; Asking not only the question of “What’s it like to know a serial killer?”but “What if my perfectly normal parent is a torturous sexual deviant serial killer whom my entire town is obsessed with?” A fantastic film for those interested in the nuances of serial killer psyche and true crime in general. (Full Video Review)

7. A Quiet Place

Something about the marketing for A Quiet Place hit the perfect mark between “this shit is scary” and “you can take the whole family to see it”. For example, when I saw this in theaters there was an older couple. The type that you were surprised to see in an horror movie audience. At one point the loud whispering lady leaned over and said to her husband “You know, they are married in real life.” To which he hilariously leaned over and replied “SHHHHHHHHHHHH”. I still laugh about this when I think about it. The kind of cute dismissive old man moment you don’t get in most horror auditoriums. Everyone seemed to love A Quiet Place and for good reason. John Krasinski and Emily Blount delivered an entertaining horror experience that even made us cry and maybe shit our pants once or twice. (Full Video Review)

6. The House That Jack Built

If an art house film and serial killer biopic became a movie Megazord it’d be The House That Jack Built. This is one of the greatest serial killer films I’ve ever seen. It’s the closest thing to the depraved genius of American Psycho I’ve witnessed. It’s my favorite performance by an actor (Matt Dillon) this entire year. Eventually, the artsy side of Jack hijacks the wheel and we veer into self important Lars Von Trier-ville but that isn’t enough to fuck up my fascination with Mr. Sophistication. (Full Video Review)

5. Unsane

Most of the time movies drop in January because they are unworthy pieces of hot salad poop. Sounds disgusting, I know. Unsane came out during that month of early movie darkness and as a result no-one speaks of it. Well, here I fucking am! This Steve Soderbergh film turns out to be a great stalker film based on paranoia and imprisonment. Two of the worst ways to describe your career choice, but hey if the shoe fits; kill yourself with it. Wait, what were we talking about again? Bonus points for super slasher film vibes towards the end. (Full Written Review)

4. Overlord

Overlord was too cool for all of us. That’s the only possibility I can fathom for why it didn’t do better at the box office. Bad marketing perhaps? The DREDDcurse strikes again! (Drops to knees, screams “KARL URBAN!!!” at the sky whilst crying). Either way, Overlord finds a spot in not only the top five horror movies of the year, but top five action also. All the rad makings of a fun B-movie built to look like a summer blockbuster. A blast from start to bloody end. It actually would have been my favorite action film of the year if it weren’t for Mission Impossible: Fallout.

3. Hereditary

Hereditary not only boasts this years Oscar winner for best lead actress (if only the Academy voters watched horror or movies) but it also pulled off a legendary movie rope-a-dope. If you’re a fan of boxing or the film Broken Arrow, you’ll know the rope-a-dope as a basic fake out of your opponent. You show them the left, then knock them out with the right. Hereditary gives you a deep, dark look at loss and grief. A lot of dark family drama with smooth little moments of subtle horror. It is then, while you are weak and emotional; that it kicks you in the throat, lights you on fire and throws you out of a window. It even calls you a bitch on your way down. Hereditary follows all this up with a smart, occult ending that will have you thinking, talking and seeing old people wieners dangle. That last part wasn’t a positive. Scariest movie of the year? Yes. (Full Podcast Review)

2. The Strangers: Prey At Night

Again, not saying this is the second best horror film made in 2018. Not even the scariest. I do feel like it’s the funnest. The crew behind Prey At Night took what most thought would be a terrible cash grab follow up to the original home invasion film, flipped the script and walked away slowly as it exploded most bodaciously behind them. (Full Video Review)

1. HALLOWEEN

The crews behind Halloween pulled off the impossible. Not that they brought back Jamie Lee Curtis after so many years away from the franchise. Nor that FX artist Christopher Nelson created a universally beloved mask for Michael; A task that has escaped so many before him. Not that the writers and director were able to live in cohesion among nostalgia and creativity. Not that new Michael Myers actor James Jude Courtney mastered the nuances of Nick Castle’s 1978 movements which others can barely even explain verbally, much less recreate. No, it’s that the crew behind Halloween 2018 made Michael Myers scary again. The shape is once again a force to be reckoned with.

Halloween wasn’t perfect. There were issues with certain characters. The ending doesn’t seem sure of itself or where it wants to go next. Things weren’t as final as promised (though I’ve always hoped the sequels kept coming.) The way it came to exist in 2018 was however, perfect. This movie was an event. For a time the world treated Halloween as though it were the next Avengers film. At least it felt that way in my world. When released the crowds were huge and the theaters were packed. The film was received positively on Rotten Tomatoes and almost all of the word of mouth buzz had been positive. The people returned the favor by making this the highest grossing slasher film of all time. Halloween isn’t just a movie; It’s the official resurgence of the slasher genre. (Full Video Review)

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