Why it’s important to talk about Bravery -A ‘fearless’ therapist
By: Jennifer Vincent
Tags: Bravery, Therapy, Courage, Therapist, Courage To Change

Photo by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash

Over the previous few months, we have had to dig a whole lot deeper, a whole lot braver to get through the world. The world that is on fire figuratively and literally.

Over this time I wanted to focus on how Bravery plays a big role in my therapy private practice with my clients.

Philosophers and scientists alike have pondered this question for as long as time. It is often believed that bravery is linked with having no fear. But is this actually the case? Or is it more true that being brave is acting despite the presence of fear?

To explore this, let’s first consider the Oxford dictionary definition of brave: “Ready to face and endure danger or pain, showing courage.”

Courage.

This word comes up a lot when analyzing the meaning of bravery.

Are they synonymous? Is courage the opposite of fear? Or is it the trait that we possess, which enables us to face our fears and act anyway?

Socrates asked, “suppose we set about determining the nature of courage, and in the second place, proceed to enquire how the young men may attain this quality by the help of study and pursuits. Tell me, if you can, what is courage?”

Somewhat disappointingly, these famous philosophical minds could not answer these questions.

Once again, the idea of courage was examined in 1960. Scientist Mowrer attempts to provide a possible answer to Socrates’ question. He considered the idea of courage and its relationship to the concept of fearlessness. Mowrer’s conclusion led him to ask, “may it not be that courage is simply the absence of fear in situations where it might be expected to be present?”

In this view, is Mowrer suggesting that courageous actors simply do not feel fear in typically fearful situations?

Well, that’s one way to look at it. But then it can be argued that there you are either brave or not. Courageous or fearful. One or the other. You are either someone who feels fear, or one who does not.

Don’t we over overcome fear all the time?

Cheryl Strayed talks about this in her incredible book, Wild, “I knew that if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe.” Wow. Just Wow. A story we tell ourselves! The truth is that actual feelings only last 90 seconds but we feel that feeling whether it’s anxiety or fear much longer when we tell ourselves a story about it. What I mean is that we often tell ourselves, “I can’t do it, it’s too hard” etc.

Let’s dissect this a bit.

Courage is not the absence of fear. Instead, it is feeling fear, yet being able to overcome it for a greater cause.

It is only timid people who believe that bravery is connected with the lack of fear.

If you feel no fear, then it is easy to take action… Hence, you are not brave… because you had nothing fearful to face in which you had to overcome.

Thus, bravery is taking action regardless of fear being felt.

Holding this opinion, we can consider courage to be the persistence of perseverance despite the presence of fear. Acting anyways. Being overcome with fear yet persevering and overcoming it.

This is what I believe bravery and courageous is. After all, we all feel fear. It’s human nature that goes all the way to the beginning of time.

Fear is our bodies mechanism to protect us, this goes way back to the caveman days. When we fear, our bodies have physiological changes that occurred in the form of an increased heart rate, more blood flow to our vital organs, etc. These changes were simply preparing us for fight or flight. Nothing more nothing less. They were there to help protect us and save us from the threats present around us.

Today, we aren’t always facing life-threatening events. Despite this, our minds still tell our body to react with these physiological changes in order to help us act. Because of this, fears often feel life-threatening.

Regardless of how they feel, it is undeniable that fears are felt. Felt by everyone in one way or another. It is whatever that thing is that paralyzes us. The thing that stops us in our tracks and makes us think that we can’t go on. It varies for everyone, but there’s always something.

I don’t believe that there simply exist courageous actors. Instead, I believe in the notion that there are courageous acts. And these acts are deemed courageous based on the person. If someone is acting in a way that faces their personal fears, a courageous act was taken.

To be brave means we must acknowledge our fears. We must understand them in the sense that they are simply an act we can overcome with a little bit of courage. A little perseverance. The persistence to continue to face that fear regardless of the pit in our stomach telling us to flee.

How will you be brave today?

Bravery, thus, is not a trait that some people possess, and others do not. Instead, it is something we do. Something that we are all capable of. We just need to remember that bravery varies from person to person.

I have this ‘fearless’ tattoo because I believe that we have been conditioned to think that we should be totally fearless.

But truth is, being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Instead, it is the action in the face of fear.

With everything there is to consider about fear and courageousness, and whichever belief you choose to hold about what it means to be brave, it is most important to remember that it is perfectly okay to feel fear. After all, feeling fear is what makes us human.

We simply must remember that fear goes back to the beginning of time. You cannot discredit it — there is actually a scientific and physiological response to fear. It is merely a feeling ingrained in human nature.

And while fear varies between person to person, we cannot argue it away. It exists in all of us and it presents itself in different ways. Because of this, being brave to one person might not be considered as bravery to another, yet that doesn’t mean bravery is black or white. Instead, it exists in all of us, and like fear, it shows itself in different ways.

So, continue to be brave. Whatever that means to you. Face your fears. Persevere when you want to hide. Look your fear in the face and persist anyways. Just be brave. It’s something we all are.