MY FIRST WEEK AS AN AUNT
By: Favour Obioha
Tags: Newborn, Diary, Creative Nonfiction, Aunt, Babies Babies Babies

“To be an aunt means visiting at late hours to sing your nephew his favourite lullaby so your sister can get some rest.”

If I’m not the best aunt in the world then we are shutting down the entire auntdom.

I started using the word “responsibility” more often after my nephew was born. Prior to his arrival, that early morning, I felt my heart hanging on by a thread but his first cry sent chill bumps down my spine. A nurse swung the door open, holding the newest earthican in her hands. Seeing him for the first time accentuated the joy that was already raging within me. I’ve seen cute things, not a lot though but enough and I must tell you, none of those can be compared to this baby’s cuteness when he squinted at the rays of sunlight that illuminated the delivery suite.

There were two cots adjacent to each other with a crib beside one. On the corner between the two beds was a cabinet where I had kept the baby’s things. The air conditioner that hung on the wall just above the cabinet cooled the room, causing the baby to shiver. I scurried toward it, carefully slipping through the edges of the bed and turned it off. The nurse asked to whom she should give the baby. My brother-in-law and I raised hands simultaneously, but in the end, the baby was given to his daddy. I saw the happiness in my brother-in-law’s eyes as he stared at him affectionately. He held him delicately for a while before passing him to me. He felt warm. The chill bumps surged again as he gripped my finger firmly. I am an aunt today.

I was happy, I was overly excited, I had friends with whom I was athirst to share the big news but then, I was extremely overwhelmed.

Evening passed and morning came — That was the first day.

Sometimes I wonder how God makes man. And I don’t mean the stories of Genesis 1:27, I mean does He mould babies, give them the breath of life and then uses some kind of supernatural powers to teleport them into their mama’s womb? Because I don’t see the lines of intersection between the mechanism of intercourse and the creation of man. Do you?

It wasn’t until I found myself alone at home with a bucket of water and a mop, standing hopelessly at the entrance to the supposed baby’s room which was without shape and form, that I realized with every prayer answered comes a responsibility. The journey has begun, there was no turning back now. Two hours later, I stood in that same position admiring my newly discovered talent in room cleaning.

Waiting for my nephew and his mama to come home was like waiting to be bailed from jail; it never seemed to happen — or not anytime soon. After counting the ceiling for the hundredth time I figured out that I’d ran out of things to do. Dear God, pinch these people, pinch them really hard. Show no mercy until they start making preparations to come home.

11:15am, they were home. Home sweet home.

Evening passed and morning came — That was the second day.

One of the many things I hate about being Nigerian woke me up that morning. Loud speakers from nearby churches. The concentrated worship songs that filled the atmosphere proved what day it was. I don’t want to go to church. We have a new baby and I have a responsibility now, God will understand. But…will mommy understand?

My nephew’s grandma seemed to be the happiest person among us. She’s been doing things that her health didn’t allow and heaven knows how guilt tripped I felt. Thank goodness she’s happy. Now I won’t have to tell serious lies to avoid church. It was after she replied me that I realized I’ve been thinking out loud. I can skip church. All I needed to do was to put my two functional hands to good use before she changes her mind.

Remember how I thought seeing my nephew squint was the cutest thing ever? I was wrong. That morning I watched him bathe. Breathe honey, breathe. I can’t exaggerate what it was like. I intentionally awaited this moment, I thought about writing things down but I had this intense urge to savour the moment, writing would come later. But my memory has failed me. My fingers are itching to type but my brain is tipsy. It has been mesmerized from the alcoholic volume of that cute scenery. In the end, I deduced one thing, his cries were faux. Where were the tears? He might as well let us know he was having the best time of his life.

Evening passed, morning came — that was the third day.

The vibration from my phone jolted me up from bed. It was a new week and I had bigger fishes to fry. One thing that isn’t gonna change until God knows when is my morning routine. I am getting used to it, I have no choice. By the time I was done for others I barely had four hours to myself and it was the day I wanted to get my shits together. I have a book where I get creative by writing down the biggest mistakes of my life. That afternoon, I made a choice that propelled me to as far as where that book was.

One of my newest discoveries is that the internet is not good for my mental health, especially in a time like this. The one intact organ I needed to get my shits together was now in a bad condition and…

Evening passed, morning came — That was the fourth day.

If there is one thing God cannot allow in life, it is a new aunty falling sick on her first week in the aunt industry. My mommy saw it first. Knowing that party go scatter if I fall sick I was dragged to the hospital for checkup. I am still strong anyways.

I came home and didn’t feel like taking on the adjourned matters from yesterday, I dived onto my bed and picked a book I’ve been reading for nearly a month now. I really need to start taking life a little bit seriously, said the voice that knocks senses into me and never fails to remind me that I still have a hundred and one shits to sit down and get together. No, not today. I left the room to where my nephew was and in there the two moms were discussing COVID-19. Nope, wrong place. Before I could make a full turn my nephew’s mama interrupted by laughing at how my innocent boy would have been named Corochi or Corochukwu. I never thought this virus a thing to joke with but I still swallowed hard and then suggested Coronna and we all laughed. My baby will not coro anything in Jesus name.

Evening passed, morning came — That was the fifth day.

Wednesdays are my best days only in school. There I have the entire day to myself and in tranquility unless I choose not to. Here, in this infuriating environment, you can’t even shut your eyes for a second. Sometimes I wonder where it is written in the bible that you should come to God on wednesdays that you’ll always find Him sitting in His chambers with no angels around to distract Him from listening to your prayers. I’d rather play Angel by the wings with ear buds on the highest volume than pay attention to the worships that were struggling to be heard the most. Thank God for wisdom. As I listened, I cried. I can do anything. I need this self-assurance everyday.

This day was a significant one in my aunthood; my nephew pooped and peed on me for the first time in life. Whoopsie, I’ve been inaugurated.

Evening passed, morning came — That was the sixth day.

Startled from my slumber, I dashed to the baby’s room. I don’t want to believe I am the only one who wonders why babies cry sometimes. His grandma was changing his clothes. Why would I cry if someone has to change my clothes for me? We need to open another world for babies and keep our world’s licence from them until they are 10.

It’s not easy to be a mom, I am scared. I am scared for my husband, I am scared for my children, and on a higher level I am scared for my mom. I know when the time comes, the happiness will supersede the suffering which is why I’m being scared now on behalf of the future.

With love, mom is a book I bought last month and thought it to have potentials that I had kept it till after this week so I can relate better to it. I am not the mom here, I am the aunt and what the aunt does is assist the mom in many facets and that includes reading.

Months before my nephew was born I bought him a bedtime story. Two weeks ago I bought him another. If he must inherit something from our side (my side especially) it would be the obsession with books. He must read. I need someone to talk books with and I am dying to see him grow.

I am going to be the best aunt in the world.

So drained to leave my bed, I picked up my phone instead. It’s 11:45pm and world’s best aunt still hasn’t gotten her shits together.