How To Build A Trustworthy Relationship With Developers As A Product Manager
By: Tagui Manukian
Tags: Product, Product Management, Product Manager, Developer, Trust

There is a myth that developers are grumpy and reserved personalities who don’t tolerate extra talking and who want to stay away from any human contact. But is it actually true?

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As a product manager (PM) I get to work with engineers on a daily basis. Sometimes I get the feeling that developers are even more sociable and interactive than many other employees. But based on the notion that engineers are introverts, we tend to think that it is hard to build a strong and trustworthy connection with them.

There is definitely a reason to think of developers as rather reserved characters. That mainly comes from the fact that introverts choose fields like software engineering because it challenges them enough and at the same time it doesn’t require them to put themselves out there and be in the centre of attention. Due to their introverted nature, they don’t need any external validation and attention.

Even Carl Jung, who popularised the terms introvert and extrovert, said that there is no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure extrovert. And although we are all somewhere in the spectrum, we notice that more introverted people prefer the world of programming because they don’t require an external stimulation for performing their jobs and achieving great results.

In a survey I ran this year in the community of developers, 62,7% of participants said that they value open-mindedness to listen to each other and improve the most in collaboration with product managers. Whereas, what they find the most irritating is the lack of understanding of technical details of the product (26,5%).

These are examples of extremes: the best and the worst. And although results of the survey show a set of qualities that would make you a good product manager, the question still is — how do you ensure that you are capable of establishing a strong and reliable connection with developers to work in a collaborative and pleasant environment?

1.Know what you you talking about.

Whenever you are approaching a developer with a question or a topic for discussion – make sure you understand the it fully and are capable of holding a conversation. Nothing irritates more than explaining to people their own questions and thoughts. Happened to me. Come prepared.

2. Be laconic.

Collecting your thoughts and having a structure in mind is what developers appreciate because it saves everyone’s time. The shorter the talk, the better the impression afterwards.

3. Speak in numbers and data points.

Be ready to back up your arguments with numbers. What’s the point of talking, if you are talking based on your gut feeling. Be able to use the analytical tools and draw conclusions from the data.

4. Don’t do a small talk.

If you are approaching a developer with a work related question (although it’s nice to ask how was the weekend and how is life), remember that time is of a high value. So keep it short and start from what you were exactly willing to talk about. Don’t think you are making a better impression by having a personal chat before. Most likely you will face very short answers without any follow up questions.

5. Don’t overpromise.

Be modest about what you can do and how you can solve a given problem. Better think of a small step and act upon it than promise the universe and take a little action. Exaggerating and showing off is nothing that appeals.

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6. Be transparent.

Never hide the mistakes you made hoping that no one notices. Eventually, it will come to the surface and make you feel even worse. We are all humans and mistakes are part of the growth. Authenticity and vulnerability will make you more trustworthy than being pretentious and dishonest. And on another note, transparency means sharing all the relevant information with the developers. It helps bring the perceptive and many times it bonds you and them in achieving a common target.

Of course, all above is generalised and based on my observations and discussions with my colleagues, there are for sure exceptions from the rules. I personally work with many developers who like the small talk and don’t mind to talk about ideas that are solely assumptions based on the inner feeling. BUT I have to admit that it took me time to build that relationship and frankly it was mainly due to the 6 tips above.

These six “dos and don’ts” help build the trust and credibility which makes developers take you and your ideas more seriously. Engineers are people of efficiency and productivity. As an engineering manager in my team says:

“As a developer you really don’t want to dream because your job is to make things work in reality”.

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Developers are not expecting us to make a beautiful introduction or present our ideas in fancy slides. In reality they just want us to be clear with what is to be build and what the goal is. Since they are the ones to go through all the the edge cases, gaps, and loopholes, saving their time has a positive impact on the perception of you as a specialist and a colleague. With time this turns into trust which undoubtedly is the key to success.