7 Blatantly Obvious Signs of an Incredibly Destructive Friendship
By: Ryan Fulton
Tags: Life Lessons, Relationships, Self, Love, Friendship

1. It’s hard to build new relationships

Even though I was meeting more people, it was hard for me to develop new friendships. He was talking up so much of my time; it was nearly impossible to devote my time to anyone else.

The main reason we had a falling out was when I wanted to start dating. We were so close — I couldn’t date anyone. Eventually, it got to a point where it was either 1) be friends with him or 2) be in a relationship.

If you notice it’s hard to build and maintain new friendships with people, this may be a sign of a controlling friend.

2. You spend an unreasonable amount of time together

Within a month of becoming friends, we were spending the entire day together. Hanging out in the morning and into the night. 24/7.

When you’re spending so much time with someone, it’s hard to make time for yourself. You should be able to have time alone.

Spending every waking moment together is not a healthy dynamic. Where are the boundaries? Being together all the time leads to bickering, fights, and unneeded stress.

3. Your friendship feels like an obligation

As time went on, our friendship began to feel like a chore. I had to hang out with him. I had to respond to his texts. I felt obligated to be there whenever he needed me, and it took a toll on my mental health.

When your friendship starts feeling like an obligation, is it worth your time?

Being friends with somebody shouldn’t be difficult, nor should it be a cause of stress. Having a friend is supposed to improve your life.

4. There’s no mutual benefit

Friendships are two-way streets, and both people should benefit. If you feel like you’re putting in all the effort, how is that beneficial to you?

There will always be a mutual benefit in the beginning, but a friendship won’t last if only one person is putting in all the effort.

For example, I’d always drive my friend everywhere, buy him lunch, and offer support when he needed it. What did he have to offer me at the end of the day? Not much.

5. They always get their way

Whenever we did something together, it was always what he wanted to do. We went to his favorite restaurants, listened to his music, and went where he wanted. I had no say and no control over any decisions.

And if I ever tried to make it my way, he’d get mad. Friends aren’t supposed to act that way.

6. They don’t value what makes you unique

We all have things that make us interesting, and your friends should love and appreciate those aspects of you.

My friend would never want to hear about my interests or hobbies — he didn’t care. What kind of friend does that?

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.”

— Mark Twain

7. You hide your interests

I knew my friend was destructive once I started to hide my interests. I didn’t want to share anything, and I began to keep to myself. Slowly I didn’t even bother bringing up anything that interested me.

While friends need to have mutual interests, you also need to have your own individual interests. Again, you want your friend to appreciate what makes you unique.

Do you have any friends you’re uncomfortable being yourself around?