What Almost Being on Reality Television Taught Me About Myself
By: Jameson Thomas
Tags: Listen To Your Heart, Self Improvement, Lessons Learned, Reality TV

What Almost Being on Reality Television Taught Me About Myself

Image by AlexAntropov86 from Pixabay

After months of intense interviews, the first reality show I applied to as an adult flew me out to casting finals. I’d graduated college seven months earlier, and was making slightly above minimum wage as a Walt Disney World College Program Character Performer at the time. My take-home pay (after tax, insurance, and Disney College Program housing rent) was one-hundred and fifty dollars a week, and I needed more money — bad. Knowing my Disney Character Performer gig was ending, I was stoked when the reality show flew me out to casting finals, and put me up in a fancy hotel.

Getting cast on the reality show, in my mind, would have completely changed my life. Win or lose, I’d have leveraged the opportunity to my benefit. I’d probably be able to get a book published after the show ended, and fulfil my dream of being a Young Adult author!

I know, I know. I was twenty-three years old at the time — cut me some slack.

The thing was, I wasn’t willing to do anything to get cast on a reality television show. I didn’t want to expose certain aspects of my personal life — especially the things the producers pushed me to talk about more — like how I just graduated from BYU, a Mormon university, and why I wasn’t into the Mormon thing anymore, even though I’d been very Mormon my entire life. (Please note — I love the Mormons, but I no longer practice). At the time, that was something I needed to figure out for myself on a personal level — and not something the United States of America needed to see me cry about in an edited, fifteen-second confessional.

In the end, the show wasn’t interested in me if I didn’t expose my personal life, and I wasn’t going to budge. And so, because I didn’t go along with what they wanted, I wasn’t cast on the show.

Image by funnytools from Pixabay

With my self-confidence at an all-time high — and my career at an all-time low — I applied for another reality show, and they interviewed me for a spot on the program. But they were a brand-new show, and changed their concept during casting, so I wasn’t a good fit for them anymore. Literarily — they decided to only cast women, and I’m a guy.

So, with barely any money in my bank account, and my career swirling around in the toilet (I found a job as a ride operator after the character performer thing ended, which wasn’t exactly my dream) I applied for another reality show, then another, then another. I can’t tell you exactly how many shows I ended up applying for in my mid-twenties — but I interviewed with half of the shows I applied for, even though I’ve never been cast on anything at all.

I could have gotten on several of the reality shows, if I really wanted. But the more interviews I had, the more I started cutting the cord when the casting producers got pushy. I learned the power of one amazing, and often overlooked word — and I wasn’t afraid to say it, even though it seriously pissed people off.

No.

Simple, yet scary.

No.

Sometimes, you think that you’ve found a good opportunity. But the more you consider it, the more you realize the opportunity is good for someone else — and not for you. With the particular reality shows that I interviewed for, I realized they wouldn’t be good for me at all — even though I desperately wanted to experience an adventure… and launch a career as a Young Adult writer.

Image by DariuszSankowski on Pixabay

Listen to Your Gut

Interviewing for reality television taught me to listen to my gut. Initial instincts that you undoubtedly know are usually right, I’ve come to realize. Your mind knows what’s good for you, but when you overthink, or rationalize, or scrutinize a situation, everything can start to feel confusing. And the truth is, you probably knew what was right for you all along — even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, for one reason or another.

Take reality television interviews, for example. I knew I didn’t want to talk about ‘XYZ subject’ on national television. But when I started to internally rationalize with myself — like when I’d think about how amazing it’d be to actually film a show — I could easily ignore my gut instincts to run from the situation, even if casting producers were pushing me to talk about ‘XYZ’ in casting interviews, and I knew things didn’t feel right.

When I actually acknowledged my gut instincts — and acknowledged what my feelings honestly meant — I started saying no when it counted.

I’ve applied listening to my gut in my regular life, too. Just because something seems good on the surface doesn’t mean that it’s actually good. A lot of times, you know deep down that something’s bad, even if it’d be more convenient for you to ignore your instincts.

At one point, for example, I was unemployed and desperate for a job. I was in a job interview, and wasn’t getting other interviews at the time, but I knew, in my gut, that the job would be terrible if I was hired. I listened to my gut, and left mid-interview — even though I was desperate for employment at the time.

It was dramatic. It was awkward. It’s a story for another article. But things eventually did work out. I got another job a few weeks later, and my unemployment ended.

And I was right — that job would have been one of the worst experiences of my life, if I’d been hired. I now see that clearly, even though it wasn’t clear in my mind at the time.

But my gut knew the truth all along.

The reasoning behind a gut instinct can be ugly. The truth can be hard to admit, or make us realize we have some work to do on ourselves.

But simply put, when you know, you know. Your gut isn’t going to lead you astray — it always has your best interests in mind.

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No One Ever Sees Themselves as The Villain

Every story has heroes, and every story has villains. Sometimes, the heroes and villains are super obvious; other times, the heroes and villains are subtle. But how many of us actually think of ourselves as the villain in normal day-to-day life?

The thing is, we know ourselves, and we know why we do what we do. We root for our own success, which typically means that we see ourselves as the good guy. But the world isn’t only comprised of our own perspective — sometimes, you’re the villain in someone else’s story, even if you’re the hero in your own.

Maybe, you’re someone’s villain because you’ve done something wrong. Or maybe, you’re the villain because the other person doesn’t understand that they’re wrong, so they vilify you instead. Right or wrong, you’ll always be someone’s hero, and you’ll always be someone’s villain.

Interviewing for reality television demonstrated to me that people always see themselves as the hero. In reality television interviews, casting producers try to make you feel comfortable, as if you’re their friend or something. That way, you’ll be honest with them, and they’ll get the juiciest, most vulnerable soundbites out of you. When everyone’s walls are down, the producers can look at footage from everyone’s perspective — and then decide who the actual heroes and villains truly are, for the purpose of the show.

When you’re around like-minded people, you’re convinced that you’re right. Everyone else is wrong — you’re the hero, and that’s just how it is.

Sometimes, you have to reevaluate your opinions. When casting producers made me feel like we were friends, I started to ask myself, ‘Do I actually stand for XYZ idea, or do I blindly believe this? How would others react if they heard what I was saying? Should I fight for a particular belief, or should I abandon it?’

It’s not like I ever said anything terribly offensive in a reality television casting interview. They mostly ask you to talk trash about other people. They want to see how you’d do on their show, and a confessional-type of environment. The more soundbites they can grab from you, the better.

Just because you’re around like-minded people, and you all agree on something, doesn’t mean you’re a group of heroes. You could be a group of villains.

In Conclusion

While my life isn’t completely where I want it to be at this particular moment, I’m grateful that I started listening to my gut, and realized that I could be the bad guy. Turning something down can be just as important as taking an opportunity; realizing you’re wrong is as significant as sticking up for your beliefs. Not making it onto reality television — but going through several casting processes — has taught me to stand up for myself more, say no when I’m not feeling good about something, and gain a better grasp on how the world actually works.

I’m not opposed to appearing on a reality show in the future — I just have to feel good about it. While I don’t ever plan on appearing on reality television at this point in my life (I think those days are over), if an opportunity ever came up that felt good, I just might pop up on your TV screen one day.

I’ll just have to consult my gut first.