#VOCATION STORY PART I: What Happened to Me? — The Long Road (and long story too)
By: Marga Mary
Tags: Vocation, Spirituality, Religious, Journey, Catholic

Three (3) years ago at the Philippine Center of St. Padre Pio Pietrelcina, in Libis Quezon City, I attended the Mass. It was the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. At that time, it was an extra special Mass for me. I went there as one who is a bride on her wedding day. I was going to profess my vows during the 12 NN mass, privately. I was dressed in all white: a white blazer with a white short sleeved blouse inside, and a white A-line skirt. With loud and joyful songs of love in my heart, I marched towards the aisle of the Chapel there inside the prayer room of St. Francis Assisi, where I used to write all my petitions and drop them in the glass box 4 years ago from that moment. That place was where I started my return to God from a long journey up until that point. Not even my parents know that on that day, I will dedicate myself to God in His service forever.

A Primer on Vocations and Vows

Unknown to many, there are more vocations than what is commonly heard of. There is of course, the vocation to priesthood, married life, or religious life, they added single blessedness as well. But there are other vocations such as being diocesan hermit, consecrated virginity, lay members of third orders of religious congregations, lay affiliates in some, and lay people who discreetly have private vows. One example of the latter is Saint Giuseppe Moscati. He was a renowned doctor of the poor and medical researcher of his time who cured people for free, gave medicines for free — all while being a lay person. Later on, it was revealed that he had undertook a private vow of chastity at age 34. He never married and lived his life as a celibate dedicated to the poor and the sick. He lived simply. Blessed Emilina, who is one of the three who inspired me along with Saint Frances of Rome and Saint Catherine of Siena to take private vows, is the patron saint of lay women. She did not enter any religious order and never married. However, she adapted the Cistercian spirituality and lived as such in a solitary way of life outside the monastery until her death. She spent her life doing penance and being a spiritual director to some. Holiness can be in so many ways. It can be wherever God puts us, in whatever vocation He gives us for as long as it is God’s will, we can certainly be holy. It is God’s design for us. They key is proper discernment and guidance from a trusted person who lives a holy life (this is another topic I wish to write about in the future).

Saint Catherine of Siena, who looks like a nun is not actually one, but a lay woman who was a member of Third Order of St. Dominic (T.O.S.D. at that time, now O.P.). She also professed a private vow of virginity. She lived her life as a celibate and as a spouse of Christ, despite this not being a requirement for all TOSD members.

Under religious life, there are two main vocations for women: the contemplative and the religious sister. Strictly speaking, the term “nun” is exclusive for those who are contemplatives. Nun means “monk”. The other sisters are supposed to be called religious sisters — these are active in their apostolate life outside ministering to others while also maintaining a community and prayer life. I could write a single article for each to explain each of this vocation, but if you google each word, you may also find more information about them. Especially with how it is written in canon law. Here is what is written in the canon law about vows:

Code of Canon Law

Book IV: Function of the Church

A VOW AND AN OATH (Cann. 1191–1204)

CHAPTER I.

A VOW

Can. 1191 §1. A vow, that is, a deliberate and free promise made to God about a possible and better good, must be fulfilled by reason of the virtue of religion.

§2. Unless they are prohibited by law, all who possess suitable use of reason are capable of making a vow.

§3. A vow made out of grave and unjust fear or malice is null by the law itself.

Can. 1192 §1. A vow is public if a legitimate superior accepts it in the name of the Church; otherwise, it is private.

§2. A vow is solemn if the Church has recognized it as such; otherwise, it is simple.

§3. A vow is personal if the person making the vow promises an action; real if the person making the vow promises some thing; mixed if it shares the nature of a personal and a real vow.

Can. 1193 By its nature a vow obliges only the person who makes it.

Can. 1194 A vow ceases by the lapse of the time designated to fulfill the obligation, by a substantial change of the matter promised, by the absence of a condition on which the vow depends, by the absence of the purpose of the vow, by dispensation, or by commutation.

Can. 1195 The person who has power over the matter of the vow can suspend the obligation of the vow for as long a time as the fulfillment of the vow brings disadvantage to that person.

Can. 1196 In addition to the Roman Pontiff, the following can dispense from private vows for a just cause provided that a dispensation does not injure a right acquired by others:

1/ the local ordinary and the pastor with regard to all their subjects and even travelers;

2/ the superior of a religious institute or society of apostolic life if it is clerical and of pontifical right with regard to members, novices, and persons who live day and night in a house of the institute or society;

3/ those to whom the Apostolic See or the local ordinary has delegated the power of dispensing.

Can. 1197 The person who makes a private vow can commute the work promised by the vow into a better or equal good; however, one who has the power of dispensing according to the norm of can. 1196 can commute it into a lesser good.

Can. 1198 Vows made before religious profession are suspended while the person who made the vow remains in the religious institute.

Note: If you wish to read the whole article and more about the oath, go to the source link: http://www.vatican.va/archive/cod-iuris-canonici/eng/documents/cic_lib4-cann1191-1204_en.html

I did not include them here since this is mainly about vows.

A Journey Up to the Aisle

Finding my Way to God

Back in 2015, I passed the board exams and became a licensed real estate broker. Finally, I can build my own office and group. I have my own time as a business owner and a professional. Two years before that, I resigned from my job as a category manager at a multi-national company. I discovered early on that the corporate job is not for me. It is simply not what I have imagined it to be. I had gotten what I want early which I thought would make me happy and fulfilled. For a while I felt that way, but it did not last. I had good co-workers. I had earned a rather good job title. My job also had its own privileges. I could buy what I want, travel, wear fashionable clothes, and eat wherever I want. I already have a decent car I could drive day to day to go to work. Somehow, the life I had dreamt for, is not as happy as I thought it would be. Something is missing and I had to search for it. Everything tired me out, so I resigned with no plan. I resigned when I was only 22 years old. Eventually I thought of becoming a real estate broker. I studied to become a broker and I got my license in mid-2015. I thought it was what I was looking but I found myself in the same place I thought I had escaped. Once again, I had professional title, nice colleagues, money, and beautiful clothes. But then again, the search goes on about what to do with my life.

From then on, it was like a long retreat of getting to know myself, spending a lot of time with God, family, and friends. I started increasing my attendance of daily Mass from once a week, specifically every Sunday to twice or thrice a week. During the late 2015, I had thought that maybe I have a vocation. I said to myself, “maybe this feeling, this void I had been looking for is God and I am called to a consecrated life.” I have found a convent with my best friends and went there for a search-in. I wanted to enter the convent. I was ready. If God calls me to it, I am all for it. I have been longing to give myself to a cause that is already beyond me, and beyond this world. Something that is not anymore for me which I had experienced and thought to be futile. Something that is more meaningful is outside of myself. That is God. It is Himself.

This is the reason why I have been disappearing and truly quiet in social circles and even in the social media for the past years. I also deactivated my former accounts with my former work, music, business connections. It is like a life-restart for me. + (to be continued)