Middle Aged Madness
By: David Ophek
Tags: Philosophy, Middle Age, Leadership

Photo by Judeus Samson on Unsplash

Consider the current western roadmap for work and family:

Working life: student, apprentice, journeyman, master….freedom (retirement)

Home life: dating, marriage, family, young kids, self reliance…freedom

Along this road, there are three distinct times in one’s life where freedom of choice and freedom of action become readily apparent ie there are three semi-structured pivots that exist.

The pivots are conditional on the existence of sufficient resources including time, finance, and emotional maturity. The pivots are further restricted by societal norms and expectations.

The first pivot occurs typically as a young adult, at that time the individual has garnered sufficient resources and sufficient knowledge of their own likes and dislikes, skills and abilities, to determine what vocation they might be best suited for. They have limited responsibilities and encumbrances.

The second pivot occurs when as a middle adult they are sufficiently knowledgeable in their field to make an informed decision about the next 20 years and are able to look upon the past lessons and skills learned to make a wise choice.

The third pivot occurs as a mature adult or retiree where they have achieved and been able to amass sufficient resources to enable them to continue to exist (financially) without requiring further inputs of direct labour, though they may choose to continue to contribute to the workforce on their own terms. Typically at this age many major expenses have been accounted for and family obligations are decreased as offspring are more or completely self reliant.

The value of the each portion of the journey should not be discounted. In the beginning, a base is formed. Then, context for comparison, skill development, financial aggregation, and emotional knowledge ensue. Each section offers a jumping off point of what can be explored/accomplished and reaches it’s natural conclusion when the option has been fully explored or is no longer relevant.

Risk to reward considerations becomes a more difficult propositions at each step, because the stakes are higher, risk is not limited to individual efforts and repercussions affect larger number of stakeholders. Though the stakes may be higher the potential rewards also eclipse all previous attempts.

Pivot and change requires significant input of energy and commitment. They can be supported and encouraged or hampered and stifled. A pivot can be understood as a process that encompasses evaluation, reorientation, and summation.

The pivot can be conducted unilaterally or collaboratively, and may yield a new direction or may reinforce the status quo. The value of the exercise lies not just in the final choosing outright but also in the realization that the individual is able to make a conscientious choice.

A study by MIT concluded that the average age of successful startup business founder is 42, the average age of founders who started high growth companies is 45.

Study of the Kabbalah (Mysticism) is also typically reserved for people who have already reached middle age, married, and have families.

The intersection of these timelines seems more than mere coincidence. If the first 20 years can be thought of as an effort to build the structure or framework that will sustain you throughout the rest of your life then the middle 20 years should be designed around extending the reach and employing the structures to utmost effect.

As wisdom is the application of knowledge, creativity is the application of imagination. Wisdom and creativity are essential ingredients that in unison facilitate the investigation of the fringe, the shadow, the edge of the the flat Earth. They support venturing out beyond the periphery and exploring the unknown and allow the operator to reach inwards to distill the essences of subjects and to seek out the hidden truths.

If one were to plot a course to a way-point it would be prudent to consult the map from time to time to evaluate whether the goal still remained the same, whether the current course offered the best efficacy, or whether a tweak or large alteration of course was warranted. The middle age pivot allows for this reconciliation.

A crisis may precipitate, however, if the pivot or change is in conflict with preconceived notions of normality. This can occur on multiple levels independently or simultaneously, and can include individual, interpersonal and/or societal parameters.

What is no longer important or relevant falls away. What others hold dear may not mirror the new or newly expressed value system.

Madness is relative.

“There’s method in his madness”, from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, elucidates this point. When someone’s behaviour is inexplicable or beyond the observer’s understanding or frame of reference, it is labelled as madness. Often a rationale and plan exists that is not readily discernible.

If we were to re-frame expectations such that this periodic reassessment did not occur simply by accident but rather was an imperative and critical part of the evolution of the individual then preparations could be made to enable the transition to occur with optimal efficiency and effect. This normalized experience could then be fully supported alleviating much of the ensuing conflict as expectations could be adjusted and resources allocated where necessary.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test and don’t ask why. It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life

(Green day)