How to Adapt Your Personality to Live a Happier Life
By: Lucy King
Tags: Health, Mindfulness, Psychology, Positivity, Self Improvement

How to Adapt Your Personality to Live a Happier Life

It’s easier than you may expect.

Photo by Nijwam Swargiary on Unsplash

Almost everyone has something they’d like to change about their physical appearance. Growing up in Australia, I envied the olive skin of my siblings. Thanks to the genetic lottery, I am “pale and interesting” and spent the scorching summers of my youth seeking shade. As an adult, I have accepted myself on the surface (freckles and all) — but how about below the surface?

I’m talking here about personality.

Can you change your personality?

And if so, what aspect would you wish to change most of all?

In 2014, a study that traced people’s goals for personality change found that the majority of people wanted to be more extraverted, agreeable, emotionally stable, and open to new experiences. A whopping 97 percent said they wished they were more conscientious.

A desire for change is generally rooted in dissatisfaction. Psychologists refer to this as the “crystallization of discontent.”

People wish to become more extraverted because they are unhappy with their sex lives, hobbies or friendships. They want to become more conscientious if they are disappointed with their finances or schoolwork. — Psychologist Roy Baumeister

Once people begin to recognize patterns of shortcomings in their lives, they may reshuffle their core values and priorities in an attempt to improve things.

The bad news is making lasting changes to “broad personality traits” can be extremely difficult. While environment plays a key, most psychologists agree a person’s broad traits are fixed throughout life.

The good news is some experts believe you can enhance your personality by focusing on “in between” traits that lie under the surface of broad personality traits.



Three “in between” traits and beliefs worth eliminating are:

· Living in the past

· The need to be right

· Worrying too much

Let’s unpack these one by one.

Be willing to let go of the past

Living in the past robs you of the present moment. It sabotages your future. Unfortunately, we remember negative events more than positive ones. This is why depression and anxiety can be hard to overcome.

I’ve been in the trenches (sick, unemployed, broken-hearted) more times than I would wish on my archenemy. So you can take it from me — a focus on the “here and now” works wonders for your mental state.

If you slip up don’t get discouraged. This simple affirmation can help to pull you back to the present.

I am here in the creation of this moment.

Let go of the need to be right

We all know someone who always needs to be right. And we have all been “that person” at one time or another. I sense I rant more in my writing than I do in real life — but who knows for sure?

Needing to be right comes with a heavy price. People may be view you as arrogant, aggressive and unlikeable. They may not wish to be around you.

Needing to be right kills curiosity. People who need to be right don’t listen so they never learn anything new.

Needing to be right cuts you off from opportunities. Ask yourself, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?

This affirmation will help you to maintain an open and tolerant mind.

My way is not the only way.

Say it often (preferably in a soft voice).

Try not to worry too much

Worry is inherently negative. It affects your wellbeing. Many health issues link back to anxiety-induced stress.

When things go wrong you should think instead of worry. For instance, you might worry about health, money, or family problems. But if you can’t change a situation, then you need to change your perception of it.

A couple of years from now everything you are stressing about won’t mean a thing. Understanding this is where your power lies.

Determine what you can control.

Differentiate between dwelling and problem solving.

Create a plan to manage your stress.

Develop healthy affirmations.

Our personalities are not written in stone. We are all capable of shifting our perspective. So always remember:

You are in control of your thoughts.

You have the power to focus your thoughts anywhere you like.

You get to choose how things affect you.

When you truly desire to change, you are accessing your higher self. Understanding how consciousness works can help you live a happier life. It is never too late to change your mindset.

That’s the thought I’d like to leave you with today.

Thank you for reading!