What Happens When the World’s Second-Most Populated Country Shies Away From Sex Education
By: Anangsha Alammyan
Tags: Sex, Race, Feminism, Culture, India

My first brush with the concept of sex was when I was thirteen and read a Sidney Sheldon novel. It was a shocking revelation, but it gave me a vague idea of how things are supposed to work. Over time, through various books and movies, I gathered all the information I needed to know, at least on the most basic level.

Sadly, this wasn’t the case with my friend, Payal. The name I used is fake to protect her privacy. The story, however, is not. Payal called me a few weeks ago. I knew she was crying the moment she said “Hello”.

I asked her if everything was okay. She said it wasn’t, and went on to explain how she had sex with her boyfriend about 45 days ago. After 15 days, she started bleeding, but it was within just 20 days of her previous period. She mentioned that her menstrual cycle was fairly regular, and so, was tensed about the untimely period.

I asked her if she took an emergency contraceptive, to which she replied yes. She also told me her boyfriend ejaculated inside of her.

I sighed and told her since she had already gotten her period once, there were very low chances that she was pregnant. But only a doctor can be 100% sure at this point. I shared what I knew about emergency contraceptives — that they have hormone inhibitors that mess up with the period cycle. A delayed and irregular period are common side effects.

She still sounded worried when she mumbled a weak “Okay”.

After I’d consoled her, I requested her never to have sex without some protection. Aside from the risk of pregnancy, there can be several other complications.

This caught her attention and she immediately asked what possible risk there could be. I told her she could get an STI.

To my horror, not only was she unaware of what an STI was, she had no idea it was possible to get sick because of unprotected sex. Even after I explained all these, she still insisted that she wouldn’t let her boyfriend climax inside of her.

I was losing patience when I told her it doesn’t matter whether he ejaculates or not. She can still get an STI or she could get pregnant even if he just penetrates her for a single second without a condom.

“It’s THAT dangerous, do you get it?” I demanded.

“Oh, Ana, I am scared,” she started sobbing.

I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying, “You should be,” and told her it was okay. That the worst is over now. Since it’s been 45 days and she isn’t showing any symptoms, she should be pretty much fine. To be on the safe side, I urged her to get a pregnancy test done.

This seemed to horrify her because she said she could never go to the hospital. And if her parents find out, they would kill her.

I explained that she didn’t need to go to the doctor. She can just go to a medicine store and ask for a pregnancy test kit. I was surprised she wasn’t aware as there are several television advertisements about over-the-counter pregnancy test kits. I wondered how she hadn’t seen them.

She assured me she had. But she’d also seen advertisements of contraceptive pills and I’d just told her they are bad for health.

I had to clarify that they aren’t “bad for health” per se, but they cause hormonal imbalances and have several side effects. So, they should be taken as infrequently as possible — maybe not more than 4–5 times in a woman’s lifetime.

She wasn’t convinced. After she hung up, I stood there for a long time after, gaping at my phone’s screen. Payal believed that morning-after pills served the same purpose as birth-control pills. I sent her several links differentiating between the two, but she didn’t reply to my messages.

It would be an understatement to say that I was shocked. It was beyond my comprehension that someone who indulged in premarital sex had been so irresponsible as to not make themselves aware of the risks involved.