Santa Claus Is the Ultimate Daddy
By: Emma Austin
Tags: Sex, Sexuality, Humor, Women, Christmas

Santa Claus should be a sex symbol.

I know he’s not usually depicted that way. He’s a jolly and disarmingly kind character. He’s a quaint old man fueled by milk and cookies.

It can be hard to imagine him and Mrs. Claus as anything but the most vanilla couple out there. But Santa has all the qualities of an extremely hot daddy dom.

Because I’ve been brainwashed by his G-rated public image, I’ve never had sexual fantasies about Santa. Even on Christmas Eve, which is kind of his night, I would get off to stepsister porn instead of masturbating to the thought of Santa stuffing my stocking.

But that just might change this year. The more I think about Santa, the more I see the appeal.

Daddy doms really speak to me. They have all the qualities I look for in a man.

They’re masculine and self-possessed, but also nurturing and emotionally present.

They can appreciate playfulness. They know how to make you feel like a princess even when you’re acting like a brat.

They know how to handle littles and middles without toning down their sparkle.

Santa has all those qualities and then some.

I have to face the facts. Jolly Old Saint Nick might just be the dirty old man of my dreams.

His Character Is Solid

I’m drawn to daddies first and foremost because of their character, and Santa’s no exception.

He’s got a nurturing and caring demeanor. He’s patient and selfless.

It’s why everyone feels safe sitting on his lap — and why I’d love to bounce on it naked.

He’s also generous and kind. No one could make you feel taken care of the way Santa would. I bet the aftercare is out of this world.

The sex would be hot as hell, too. Amazing sex is all about communication, and if there’s one thing he’s good at it’s asking what you want and actually listening when you tell him. That alone makes me want to kiss his rosy cheeks.

He Knows How to Spoil You

I’m not going to pretend that his giant sack of presents isn’t part of the appeal.

Receiving gifts is a love language that gets treated with a lot of suspicion. And sure, it’s not in my top three or anything, but it’s hard not to feel loved when someone gives you the perfect gift.

It’s a thoughtful gesture. It shows that they’re putting you first.

It also makes your mind run a little dirty. When someone spoils you, you spend a lot of time thinking of ways to repay their generosity. Before you know it, you’re wearing lingerie most days and keep running out of flavored lube.

And if I was fucking Santa, I know I’d wake up on December 25th and find a huge, heavy box wrapped up under the tree with my name on it. I would unwrap it eagerly and feel even more excited when I saw that he got me what I really wanted — a gorgeous, soft, and squeezable sex doll.

Not a jiggly, disembodied ass. Not a pair of tits for me to motorboat. Not a torso doll without legs or arms. A full-sized, curvy doll for me to fondle, finger, lick, and strap-on fuck as my heart desires.

I’d be so happy, I might even let him watch.

The Experience Gap Is Vast

Some women are drawn to daddies because they like an older man. But a lot of us are drawn to them because we like an experienced one.

That’s a big part of it for me. I have a really big thing for experience gaps.

I get massively turned on by any kind of scenario that involves an experienced man and a horny, curious, but naive and innocent lady.

Watching that kind of man take the lead and giving a gal a good time is my kind of spank bank material. And if he shows her how to pleasure herself, teaches her how to give a blowjob, or gives her any kind of instruction, I’ve hit the horny jackpot.

That’s the kind of sexual fantasy I can only fulfill through porn and roleplay. But if I was banging Santa, I wouldn’t have to pretend.

There’s no way to match his experience. It’s hard to pin down his age, but it seems he’s at least 1,600 years old. And during that time, he’s been down his fair share of chimneys — if you know what I mean.

The man has seen it all and done it all. He could do things to me and show me things I haven’t even thought of in my mere 33 years on this earth.

He’s Got That Kinky List

Santa is highly attuned to your behavior.

He always notices when you’re a good girl, and he knows how to reward you for it. You’ll spend all year feeling like a good submissive, doing what you can to please him and stay on his nice list.

Like a really good daddy dom, he doesn’t have to force it. He doesn’t constantly tell you what to do or bark orders at you. Instead, he inspires the kind of respect that makes you want to be on your best behavior, just for him.

But he also knows how to handle you when you’ve been naughty. He wouldn’t hesitate to lay you across his lap and administer the spanking that, deep down, you know you deserve for being such a bad girl.

Being a Good Girl for Santa

So, here I am. After a lifetime of loving that jolly old bastard in a very platonic way, I’ve gone and developed a Santa kink.

I finally get the point of all the Santa porn you can find online, and I’ll probably be watching my fair share of it this week.

And on the 24th, I’ll leave out some milk and cookies like I do every year. Only this time, I’ll be wishing for Santa to come slip between my sheets after he slides down my chimney.

I’m sure my husband wouldn’t mind. At the very least, it would result in a threesome neither of us would ever forget.

But I know that he might be too busy to stick around and give me a good fuck. If he just wants to leave my sex doll under the tree and leave quietly, that’s fine by me too.