The 5 resolutions we should set for 2021
By: E.B. Johnson
Tags: Mental Health, Personal Development, Nonfiction, Self, Psychology

by: E.B. Johnson

The end of the year is fast approaching, and that means, for many of us, a time for reflection and focus on what comes next. Millions of people around the globe will be sitting down to hash out their list of goals for the next year, but millions of them will fail to meet even a single one. New Year’s resolutions are a joke when we don’t know how to use them. But when we do? The results can be truly spectacular.

New Year’s resolutions (at their core) are goals that we set for our lives and relationships. They can provide guidance and direction, but they can also give us a purpose and help us to cultivate true transformation. All of that comes down to setting realistic resolutions, however, and goals that we can not only stick to, but enjoy tackling. They have to be aligned to who we are, and that’s something which requires both personal truth and personal understanding. To get there, we have to break things down.

Good resolutions don’t always look the same.

It’s no secret that more than half of all New Year’s resolutions fail. For this reason, many of us view the whole process as a joke. Creating a workable resolution is a process that takes a lot of time and introspection, but it also requires a lot of coming to terms with who we are and what we want. If we want effective New Year’s goal we can stick to, we have to know what that looks like first (and it isn’t always as easy as whipping up a new yoga routine).

The primary reason that most resolutions fail is that they’re not the right resolutions to begin with. We get a lot of external pressure from outside sources. Thanks to the influence of media, magazines, and even our friends and family — many of us believe a resolution must be dramatic and swift. The truth, however, is that true change happens when we get realistic about both what we want and what we can really do.

Just like any goal we set for ourselves, our resolutions should be SMART; meaning they should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. We don’t just wake up and change our lives. We make small changes over time, which add up to big results. All change is a journey. Don’t set goals that require you to be uncomfortable, in pain or struggling more than you were the year before. Instead, focus on creating small, realistic resolutions that can help you transform your overall picture.

Benefits of setting the right resolutions for the new year.

New Year’s resolutions can actually add a lot of value to our lives when we know how to set them. They improve our self-esteem, but they can also boost our health and help us to take control of our lives and relationships. Personalized goals are powerful things, but setting them up often requires the motivation of knowing how you can bloom within them.

Improved sense of self

Setting good, solid goals for the new year requires digging deep into who we are and, with that, comes an improved sense of self. Realistic resolutions motivate us, but only when they are connected with who we are authentically. Getting to these roots requires spending a lot of time with whom we are, which then can help to improve our self-esteem and our sense of who we are and where we want to go.

Boosted health

Perhaps most common among New Year’s resolutions is that of the health resolution. Millions of people around the world commit to getting healthy as the calendar changes over, transforming everything from the way they eat to the way they exercise. This can have numerous benefits to our health when we stick with these goals; leading to boosted immune systems, better stamina, and increased heart health just to name a few.

Taking control

Setting resolutions that are entirely our own can enable us to take control of our lives in new and powerful ways. The start of the new year is a cleaning of the slate, and a chance to do things from a new starting point. Whether you decide to take charge of your health, or take charge of the way things move within your personal and professional lives — when we set resolutions that are our own, we create new opportunities and effect change from our own will (rather than that of others).

The resolutions you should be focusing on for life and love.

When it comes down to it, resolutions should be simple in nature and something we can do with minimal stress or upheaval in our lives. While it might be nice to set out in the new year with a goal of “conquering it all” — we’ll find that our new year’s resolutions are much more successful when we break them down by category and simplify and unify them.

1. Commit to taking up more space

So many of us lead lives that are unfulfilling or stagnant because we refuse to take up space for ourselves. This taking up of space requires that we stand up for ourselves and speak out for ourselves. It’s prioritizing our needs alongside those of our friends, family, and children. It’s also going after the things we need to be happy on our own terms. Many of us struggle to take up this space for ourselves. Why? The answer we all dread: insecurity.

You’ve got to let go of your fears and start loving and caring for yourself as much as anyone else. Why wait any longer? The new year is a great place to start. Be clear and explicit about what you need from others. Reconnect with your passions and establish a strong and beautiful personal life that is both fulfilling and loving.

Stand up for yourself and set boundaries that protect your wellbeing. If you don’t want to do something, turn it down. You don’t owe anyone your body, your energy, or your time. It’s okay to walk away and take up time for ourselves. It’s okay to turn down the things other people want for us if it doesn’t align to our deeper truths and realizations. Boost your self-esteem and commit to the idea that you deserve to manifest a life that’s authentic.

2. Establish a pattern of gratitude

There is not enough that can be said about the power of gratitude when it comes to reshaping our lives. Going into the new year with a refreshed sense of appreciation will not only shift your mindset, it will also improve the way you see and relate to others and the world at large. There’s always something to be grateful for, things just get cloudy when we’re struggling a lot in life or in love.

Find a way to establish a gratitude practice that helps you to appreciate the things, people, and opportunities you have in your life. A great way to begin this practice is by journaling daily about the things in your life which make you feel happy, positive, loved, or valued as you are.

Beyond the things in your life you’re already grateful for, use this shift in outlook to find new silver linings to any of the adversity life throws your way. What within your circumstances can be used as a benefit? Did you learn something new about yourself and your abilities? What about things you want and don’t want from a relationship? All of these new pieces of knowledge help add up to the bigger picture of who we are.

3. Ditch all the dead weight

The new year is — above all else — a clean start. It’s a chance to reset not only our calendars, but our lives too. Rather than going into 2021 with all the pain and heaviness of 2020, you need to find ways to shed the emotional baggage so you can move toward a more positive and productive state of being. We have to ditch all the dead weight and move away from those things (and people) which no longer provide us with fulfillment or a sense of love.

Don’t allow your heaviness to follow you into the new year. Instead, seek to cut loose the dead weight in your work, interpersonal relationships, or personal emotions. You don’t need to hold on to that baggage anymore. You don’t need to drag along those people who don’t believe in you and don’t want to.

Get rid of things that no longer align with your morals and your values. Cut ties with the people who are no longer going in the same direction. At some point, you’re going to have to make some serious decisions and you’re going to have to take some serious action if you want a life that is both happy and fulfilling. The new year is a great time to dig deep and make the cuts you need with civility and grace.

4. Take a deep dive into personal growth

We are organic creatures, which means that we are made of matter and energy that is always changing and shifting state. We are meant to grow and become better, more improved versions of ourselves. There are few better opportunities to kick-start our growth than the new year. It represents a clean slate and another opportunity to go after the things we truly want in happiness and in love. Rather than procrastinating, we should take this chance to deep dive into personal growth.

Learn how to enjoy yourself, be more giving, have more patience, and increase your self-esteem (so you have the courage to go after the things that you want). All of these are small pieces of becoming more fully who we are and realizing more fully all those things we want to accomplish with our time here on this earth.

Seek to align yourself with those people and those opportunities that add to your life, more than they detract from it. Pursue the career you truly want. Improve the way you see relationships and partnerships. Disconnect with the pain of your past so that you can fully walk into your future. Make peace with your feelings and find comfort in the journey that you’re creating for yourself. When we allow ourselves to grow, we empower ourselves to unlock joy.

5. Nourish your body and soul

There can be little doubt that 2020 will go down in the history books as a year that was full of global challenge and adversity. From the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent surge of the BLM movement, to the right-wing political waves that confronted countries around the world — we were all faced with both our fears and weaknesses as we mutually confronted the deadly COVID-19 pandemic. Everyone has struggled in some way this year, so we should seek to go into the new year nursing our wounds and nourishing our souls.

Avoid focusing only on the toil and the energy you’re going to have to make in the new year. Sure, there’s work that’s going to have to be done, but you need to remember to stop and breathe too. Nourish your body and your soul. Make time for yourself and use that time to indulge in the self-care which allows you to keep going.

While life might improve next year, it’s not going to be any easier. We will still be confronted with the daily struggle of modern life, and within that struggle we need to find a way to find peace and motivation. This comes by ensuring we have what we need to thrive. Take care of your physical body and nurture your emotional body too. Surround yourself with people who make you feel comforted. Pursue time alone to recenter, reground, and thrive. Ensure that self-care is a part of your new year and you’ll find improvement within.

Putting it all together…

This year has been both a chaotic and a tragic one, with a number of shifts around the globe. As the year winds down, we begin to make plans for a year with so much more promise than this one. In order to make those plans a success, though, we need to understand the greater power of resolutions and how those resolutions affect our lives. It’s not just about weight loss and spring cleaning. Our New Year’s resolutions should help us focus on building a life in which we can authentically thrive.

Commit to taking up more space for yourself and commit to standing up for yourself more vocally and more often. Establish a new pattern of gratitude which allows you to look at the world with more positivity and more light. Even in the darkest moments, we can find something good to hold on to. It is this thing that can keep us going when life gets challenging. Keep your appreciation central and shed all the dead weight in your life. Let go of the people and opportunities that no longer fit the path that you’re on. Rid yourself of those aspects of your life that don’t align to your values and your needs. Deep dive into your personal growth and see the new year as a clean slate, or a chance to start over. Beyond all that, though, nourish your body and your soul and allow it to heal from the chaotic year that was 2020.