The Undoing is a playbook for dealing with your narcissistic partner
By: Reecha Kulkarni
Tags: The Undoing, TV Series, Narcissism, HBO

Image from Instagram (@UNDOINGHBO)

Spoilers for The Undoing here.

The Undoing had me questioning myself in a way that only my ex-boyfriend had in the past. I was gaslighted for approximately six hours by Hugh Grant, for whom the typecast of “Boyish Charmer” no longer fits. He plays a pediatric oncologist and Nicole Kidman’s husband in the new HBO series, set in a New York City that does not venture beyond the pristine streets and resplendence of the Upper East Side. Kidman embodies Grace Fraser, a psychologist who counsels her clients with a precision that comes with years of expertise — something she renounces when her husband is accused of brutal murder.

Then, much like my friends watching me get back with my toxic ex, the audience is a helpless bystander as Grace is manipulated into believing her husband’s innocence. The truth is obvious. Grant (as Jonathan Fraser) goes into hiding the day after the murder of Elena Alves, a woman who he had been romantically involved with. His DNA places him at the scene of crime, he has no alibi and it doesn’t help that he is constantly lying to his wife. It should’ve been a quick trial and arrest. Grace from Episode 2 would agree; she deems her husband “a fucking liar,” and refuses to watch the first act of his performed apologies.

The second act is a long monologue of “You know my heart…. you certainly know that I would never take a human life,” punctuated with deep sighs and sincere eye contact. The audience experiences cognitive dissonance along with Grace as she questions whether a benevolent doctor who is loved by all his patients could actually take the life of a human being. His profuse apologies and consistent denial of anything other than innocence reveal Jonathan’s effortless imitation of empathy, a quality that comes easily to narcissists.

The Undoing maps out sociopathic tendencies of anyone with a narcissistic personality disorder — a possibility that is alluded to by Jonathan’s colleague, Dr. Rosenfeld: “It’s like he never got the God complex memo.” With over 158 million affected by narcissistic abuse in the U.S., the show may incite recognition of Jonathan’s behavior in many viewers and hopefully, clarity in some.

According to Psychology Today, narcissists can charm (even when they aren’t Hugh Grant) their way into, and out of, any situation they find themselves in. They are attuned to feigning sincere emotions while remaining selfish and disingenuous. This is especially true when their heightened sense of importance is being held at gunpoint.

Jonathan’s self-image was at stake — he was no longer a good father, a loyal husband, an honest man or a man with empathy, if he was incarcerated. The six episodes footprint his desperate attempts to hold on to who he is and who he wants to be — the horrific murder of Elena Alves was only an accessory to the desecration of his ego. The show, based on Jean Hanff Korelitz’s novel of the same name, gives narcissists what they want — the spotlight. Hugh Grant, while absolutely unlikable before and after the murder, finesses the art of manipulation through his character and the screen. Culminating in a deranged attempt to kidnap his own son, Grant’s storyline issues a warning to anyone dealing with an alleged narcissist: if you think your partner could be a narcissist, they’re probably distracting you from the truth.