The Astounding Birth of Gabrielle Joy Holmes.
Tags: Birth, Labor, First Birthday, Pregnancy, Parenting

On Tuesday Nov. 6th, my dad drove me to what I thought would be my third to last appointment before giving birth to my baby girl, Gabrielle Joy Holmes. Due to gestational diabetes, I was having at least 3 weekly appointments. We got to the doctor’s office and I took the non-stress test, everything seemed to be normal and routine. Then I went to get a sonogram to check the size of the baby, which was also normal and routine. This time after the technician stepped out to show the doctor the measurements, she came back in with the doctor. Doctors don’t typically make cameos at routine check-ins. The doctor tells me that the baby is getting big and they don’t want to wait another week to induce me (I was originally supposed to be induced on Nov. 13th). Actually, they didn’t want to wait another day, he wanted to start inducing today. Now at this point, I felt the anxiety rise in me. The anxiety wasn’t necessarily tied to actually giving birth. I had just stopped working the day before, and I began deep cleaning the house one more time that Monday. I had a mental plan for cleaning the rest of the house. So while the doctor told me she wanted to induce me today, I started to think about everything I would need to do in a limited amount of time. To add to the anxiety, Timothy and I had gone on one date night earlier that week, and had plans to top off our final pre-baby date night with Broadway tickets to see Aladdin later on that night.

So I call Timothy. He picks up, and you can hear the hesitancy in his voice as he answers. It was almost as if he knew what was coming. I explain everything and we both agreed. We were still going to see Aladdin that night. The doctor gave me the option to come in late that night in order to prepare everything and come in more at peace, so we chose that option. We were not going to miss Aladdin lol. Aladdin on Broadway was amazing, the Genie takes the whole show, you should watch it if you haven’t!

Me and Timothy arrive at the hospital, after Aladdin, around 10:00 pm. When we arrive, we find out the doctor forgot to put in the request for a room to have me induced. And so because there was no room for us [insert corny Jesus joke], we are forced to wait for a room to open up. Luckily, Timothy went to get snacks, and we were controlling the TV in the waiting room to keep us fed and entertained. We tried to sleep on the uncomfortable bench we were on, but neither of us could fall asleep for longer than 30 minutes before waking up again. We didn’t actually get a room until almost 6 hours later, at 3:30 am. After we settle into the room, they started the inducing process at 4:00 am. Although we had to wait so much time to get a room I was grateful for some time to process what was about to happen and let the nerves calm down a little bit. I felt both really scared and excited to experience childbirth.

And now, here starts the labor process. They began the process by inserting a foley balloon to help my body dilate. This began to cause period like cramping because the balloon was slowly expanding. After about an hour I start to feel contractions consistently from my cervix opening. I progressed to 4cm dilated fairly quickly. Things seemed to be moving well. It was about 2 hours after that I decided to get the epidural. The epidural was placed by residents who asked if they can use a sonogram machine (they were doing research on a new approach to inputting epidurals). The initial numbness that shoots through my spine and legs felt so good! It made me feel invincible for about 30 minutes. Timothy describes those 30 minutes as my delirious superwoman phase. I was texting, social mediaing, and playing games as if I had no worry in the world, until it faded away.

Then I started to feel contractions again, this time they were worse. The pain was about 10x more painful than the initial cramping from the foley balloon. The doctor came and noticed I hadn’t gained any more progress in dilating, I was still at 4 cm. So the doctor broke my water, and soon after that I made it to 7 cm dilated. The contractions got worse at this point. The pain level was about the same, but the contractions started to come closer together. So there was little relief in between contractions. Now, I’ve never had an epidural before, so I was thinking that I was feeling contractions with the epidural and I just was a wimp (haha). I thought “if this is how contractions feel with the epidural, I’m so happy I chose to get it!” After about 14 hours of contractions “with the epidural” we finally asked someone to come and check because the contractions had become unbearable. I remember just crying every time contractions came. The head anesthesiologist came in at this point, and informed us that the epidural was placed incorrectly and if I still wanted it he would have do it all over again. To add to our disappointment and frustration, right before this, my doctor came to check my cervix again and to our surprise, I was still at 7 cm! So she announced that they would be giving me Pitocin. For those of you who don’t know, Pitocin is a hormone drug that causes the uterus to contract and further induce labor. Pitocin expedites the stages of labor and it all comes rushing to you in one stage. It goes without saying that I decided to get the epidural put in again before they gave me the Pitocin.

This time, the epidural was placed correctly and I could plainly feel nothing this time (thank you Jesus for Epidurals and modern medicine). I was able to relax a little bit and allow my body to dilate. At this point Timothy and my mother are in the room with me. Timothy was my right hand, my advocate, and my strength to lean on during these hard hours. He was being very attentive to mine and Gabby’s heart rate and he noticed that Gabby’s heart rate was going too high at times. It’s now close to midnight and I am in and out of sleep and feeling very nauseous. It had been more than 24 hours since I had eaten anything, and I was hungry and sleep deprived.

Timothy tells the nurse what he notices about Gabby’s heart rate and the nurse brushes it off with, “a baby’s heart rate will go up when it is almost time for the mom to push.” This nurse had not been pleasant when we arrived at the hospital. We thought we didn’t have to deal with her anymore once her shift was over, but unfortunately for us, we had been in the hospital long enough to see her end her shift and start a new one, and she was back with the same bad attitude. In the midst of this I was so nauseous I threw up and I was shivering from chills that my body was experiencing. The doctor comes in soon after, she tells us that I have a fever, high blood pressure, and that mine and the baby’s heart rate are high. The doctor says that I need Tylenol for the fever, water and ice, and antibiotics because I was developing an infection due to my water being broken for so many hours with no progression of the labor. I was officially diagnosed we pre-eclampsia in the middle of my labor.

As all of this is happening in my body, I am too weak to talk or to sit up, the nurse takes about half hour to finally bring the Tylenol and then rushes me to sit up and take it with very little water in my cup. Timothy stepped in and strongly explained that I needed more water and that it isn’t hospitable or professional for her to rush me after she took long to bring the medicine. Her bedside manner was not very helpful through out the night. She quickly apologized and went to get more water.

Close to 3 am the doctor comes back in to check on us. I am now 10 cm and ready to push, but none of my or the baby’s symptoms seem to have improved. So now we are at the risk of the infection and pre-eclampsia to impact the baby’s healthy delivery. The doctor is now preparing for an emergency C-section. In an attempt to get the baby out naturally, she told me that I had to push the baby out in half hour and if I could not they would prep me for surgery. It was 3:06 am. Timothy sends an update to our family about what is happening and asks them to pray for us, and I began to push. Thoughts of doubt ran through my head. I could not believe that after 23 hours It was finally time for me to push. I was so weak, and still under the effects of the epidural (all of the sickness happened so quickly, they didn’t have time to take me off), I could not feel the contractions. The doctor talked me through how to push and watched the monitors to let me know when I was having a contraction. Timothy holding my right leg and hand, my mom holding my left leg and hand. The thought of having to get prepped for a C-section after 23 hours of laboring gave me a surge of energy and I knew I had to push my baby girl out before it was too late. And so I began to push, and pushed, and pushed. The doctor seemed to think I was making good progress because she even started to play around with me “Alright Jocelyn, good job, we see the head. But you still only got 10 more minutes to push.” Exactly 30 minutes later at 3:36am, on Thursday November 8th, Gabrielle Joy Holmes was born.

Throughout this entire process we had music playing in the room, Timothy and I worked on a playlist for labor. At the very moment of Gabrielle’s birth these words play in the background, “Heaven declares Your holy name, All of creation shouts Your praise, Still You come running after me, I’m left astounded — I’m left astounded” as I lay my head back on the pillow and hear her cry for the first time.

We were left astounded by the miracle of life. Timothy was star struck in a way I’ve never seen before. He just stared astounded of Gabrielle as the doctor moved her to the bassinet, and he didn’t move from beside me until I told him to go look at her. When they placed my little baby girl on my chest, I felt her warmth, her sliminess, her wrinkled skin and all I could do was smile, astounded that our daughter was finally here and she was perfect. She was so worth all 23 ½ hours spent to meet her.

I’m left astounded by my body and everything it endured, fought through, and healed from. I’m left astounded by the family God has blessed us with, the amount of love, support, and help we’ve received this year has blown us away. I’m left astounded by the friends and church family God has placed in our path, who love Gabrielle so much. I’m left astounded by my husband who has been my strength since the day I told him we were pregnant. Above all, I’m left astounded by my God, the one who created the Heavens and the earth, the one who will always be worshipped and praised, and yet he came running after me at my weakest moment and astounded me with strength, courage, wisdom, and Agape love. He blessed and entrusted us with the gift of a child to raise and teach in His ways, and it is because of God’s guidance and grace that we’ve gotten Gabrielle through her first year of life outside of mommy’s womb. I will continue to be left astounded at the ways God will work in the life of our daughter and the great things she will do. Thank you God for Gabrielle’s life and for changing our lives forever.