The Demon Trap On Social Media
By: Emmanuella A.
Tags: Self, Life, Tips, Social Media

The Demon Trap On Social Media

Photo by Plann on Unsplash

The end of the previous year was quite terrible for me because I had just broken up with my boyfriend or rather he had ended things with me. Why?- that’s a story for another day.

I had fallen into a dark place and the words he said to me still haunt me today. I had stopped eating, sleeping, talking, I even began to cut ties with my friends and family.

I would just lay on my bed and let tears roll down my cheeks while blaming myself and wishing I was someone else, then maybe he would not have left me.

I felt if I wanted to heal I would have to keep myself busy just like those motivational quotes say but trust me after keeping busy all day, when night comes and you’re all alone with nothing to keep you busy the pain hits.

Well slowly I began to concentrate all my pain and anguish on social media- Instagram to be precise I would spend hours there not talking or chatting with anyone but reading funny quotes and watching funny videos, soon I upgrade to reading motivational quotes that made me feel worth it.

Then to watching youtube videos of people around my age and even younger who according to me had made it in life, made all the money anyone could think of, had a stable relationship- or so it seemed on their Social media platform, I even went as far as stalking them.

It was fun at first, because I thought I was getting inspired and motivated, I would spend hours going through their pictures and videos, I would read their comments, look through their families, friends and partner.

I hadn’t realized it was getting toxic, slowly began to compare myself with them, slowly began to hate my body, my skin, my height, my friends, my family, I hated my life.

I felt if I was them I would be using better phones and gadgets, wearing better clothes, wearing better weaves, going to better places, traveling the world, and no one would ever want to break up with a girl who had everything.

I fell into the demon trap on social media and fell hard, so hard that I would sit in front of the mirror and stare at myself for hours doing nothing but hating every part of my body.

I would say to myself, my eyes are too round, my nose isn’t pointy enough, my skin is too rough. I had forgotten that the media world was fake and reality was well reality.

I hadn’t realized that this was the social media’s evil web, I was just a girl who wanted to escape her reality but ended up trapped in a fake reality.

I hated myself for months until one very day when I was doing my usual, which was going through social media and stalking my favorite influencers when I got an update that one of them was currently in the hospital fighting for her life.

Her boyfriend had beaten her to the pulp. I was utterly shocked and confused, they posted every day, they toured the country together, they bought each other gifts, commented on each other’s post, tagged each other, so how was this in any way possible?.

I didn’t want to believe it and so I assumed it was a fake story, I tried to convince everybody it was, but that evening her best friend came out to tell the story.

Apparently, it wasn’t the first time he was beating her, it was only the first time she had gotten to this state, so every post was fake, every so-called love was fake and I envied horror, I wished I was her and I had her life, including her man. At that exact moment, I knew I had to stop, I had to escape from this trap.

Escaping the demon trap

Now it’s normal to fall into this trap, I mean come on we exist in the digital era, we do everything digitally, technology rules the world and so it’s more difficult to not fall into the trap.

Falling isn’t the issue although it depends on how deep you fall, the issue is finding your way out. It’s like falling into a dug pit, if you don’t find your footing you always slide back down. Trust me even with that event it wasn’t easy for me to climb out of that pit but eventually, I did with a few tips.

Getting a restraining order

Now I knew I needed a restraining order because I was clearly obsessed with my phone and social media so I got one. I started off by deleting all social media software, I didn’t delete my accounts though because I used them for my school and work stuff but I deleted all applications.

Yes, it’s quite easy to download them but that was the restraining order I gave to myself, I need to develop self-control because at that very moment I wasn’t in control, my phone was and hell I bought that phone so why should it have power over me? It is supposed to serve me and not the other way round.

Self-work

This is extremely necessary especially when you’ve fallen so deep that you hate yourself and that was my case. After putting aside my phone I became my priority, I ate more, tried to work out more often, slept well, watched movies, and read books to help build me.

You can do the same, apart from trying to build yourself physically, mentally, also build yourself financially, start that business, start writing those articles or books, cook, sew, just do something that would build you well enough so you won’t envy others.

That was the idea I put in my head, I don’t want to be them because they might be going through worse so why don’t I create a better me? A more advanced Ella that people would admire and want to be. And today ladies and gents I am still in the process of getting there. So if little Ella can do it what’s stopping you?

Love yourself because among the humans here there’s no one like you.

Create better relationships

I had cut off people from my life during that period and my friends hated me for that. Anytime they tried to reach out I pushed them away. When I told my friends about the whole experience they hugged me and told me it was normal and I should have reached out.

So now reach out to people, your family, friends, talk to them when things aren’t okay. I advise you reach to the people you love and they reciprocate that love and build a stronger relationship with them.