I Make My Blind Husband Wrap His Own Christmas Gifts
By: Pamela Hazelton
Tags: Christmas, Humor, Holidays, Life, Disability

I Make My Blind Husband Wrap His Own Christmas Gifts

Photo by Pamela Hazelton

Call me insensitive, but it’s true. While my blind husband, Joseph M. Monks, wraps presents for the rest of the family, I sneak his right in there. And I don’t feel guilty about it at all.

For years, I was the gift wrapper. I used to spend an enormous amount of time trying to be meticulous about every single crease and fold and tuck, vying to apply tape just right so each package looked elegant and professionally wrapped. And then I had enough, and actually paid someone to wrap everything for me. It was worth every penny.

Then one Christmas season, my husband decided he wanted to wrap some gifts. So he went to his parents’ house several nights leading up to the big day. He’d watch football with his parents while wrapping gift after gift. His father has since passed, but it’s still a tradition.

During the two weeks leading up to Christmas Day, my husband spends several evenings at his mother’s house wrapping presents. For me, for the nephews, for his sister. He wraps the gifts for his mother at our house.

Amid all the cookie baking, chocolate dipping, and other festive responsibilities, I found less and less time to wrap what I was giving to my husband. It often turned into a last-minute, stressful task. Until a light bulb went off.

He’s blind, I thought. How would he even know?

So, a few years ago, while I frantically geared up for the holidays, I took a stand against the stress and stuck one of his gifts into the pile. During the process, I shot some video to — ahem — show off how good a job the blind guy does. When he’d finished one of his own, holding it up to show me how great the package came out, I said, “Hey, thanks for wrapping your own gift.”

I posted the video on Facebook, and most of our friends got a good laugh out of it. A few scolded me for pulling one over on the unsighted.

To those who think it horribly rude to give a blind guy his own presents to wrap, this is for you. Because I’m not wrapping his gifts this holiday — he is. And he knows it, too.

Truth be told, Joe doesn’t mind. He’s come to expect it. We’re pretty solid on how we play pranks on each other. He plays plenty on me throughout the year, so as far as I’m concerned? He owes me. Trust me; he deserves it.

I wonder if any of my girlfriends are jealous. How many hubbies will sit down at the table, roll up sleeves, and leave their lovers be?

I can spend my time better listening to Christmas carols and drinking whatever tickles my fancy as I bake and prepare for the holiday get-togethers. At the same time, Joe takes over the tedious task of measuring, cutting, and folding paper around a box.

In all fairness, my husband doesn’t do dishes or laundry. He doesn’t dust the house or vacuum the floors. I’m willing to wager if I asked him right now to turn on the front left burner on the stove, he wouldn’t even know which dial to turn.

Okay, I’ll be honest: I work, I cook when time allows, and I only rarely clean, but it’s more than what he does. So I say he can wrap all the presents.

It’s not like I make all the decisions while he does the manual labor. Joe picks out all the wrapping paper, too — the designs and paper quality. He picks out the tape, the boxes, and everything in between. I’m not one to demand how he wraps, just that he does it.

No, I don’t feel guilty sliding the blind guy’s gifts into the “to be wrapped” pile. It’s all in good fun. Besides, there’s nothing like watching your husband open presents on Christmas Day as he recognizes the size, shape, and quality of the package. He’ll give a good chuckle, and he knows it’s his second time around trying to figure out what it is.