Forced Change
By: Christine Macdonald
Tags: Jobs, Mental Health, Unemployment, Covid-19, Life

Empty boxes are like open doors. You need to fill them with your old life before starting anew.

I’ll never forget my nearly 20-year career with a company I love so much. Our parting ways felt more like an amputation; neither one of us wanted it but for the survival of a bigger picture, it had to be done. As a result of the global pandemic, I’m simply the latest employee casualty— another layoff; another brick in the COVID-19 wall that’s been chipping into the rubble around the globe.

Since being on lockdown in March and working from home I’ve missed seeing my work family in the office. But now, after receiving an empty box (pictured above) from my employer to return my office equipment, the grief of being let go has crystalized.

Will I ever see those faces — my work brothers and sisters — again after this nightmare is over? More importantly, will I ever find a job and be able to support myself again? I’ve been working for Corporate America so long I’m struggling to know who I am without my routine of emails, phone calls, and spreadsheets.

W ho are we, if not defined by what we do?

Feeling Lost: Emotional vs. Intellectual.

Have I been hiding behind my career for so long that I don’t know who I am without one? If you’re in the same boat as me and have been let go due to COVID-19, please know that I feel you and you are not alone. Also — it’s completely justifiable to be in freak-out mode — like I am right now.

How can we have all the answers when we just started unveiling the hard questions? These past few days have been a blur. The stages of grief vacillate in my heart like a pinball machine on the fritz.

If you find your tears falling during the most random times, it’s ok; that’s what needs to happen. Fear, anxiety, depression, helplessness — these are not emotions to ignore, and trust me, after a good ugly cry you will feel some relief.

We need to physically let it out. Scream into your pillow or underwater in the bathtub. Go to town on that punching bag collecting dust in the garage. Anything to get it out. It’s not the most logical response to losing your career but in order to get there, we must go through the emotional before thinking logically.

Fight Isolation.

Wanting to be left alone during hardships is normal. I’m something of an anomaly: I shut my phone off to escape but look forward to the calls and texts that blow up my devices when I’m ready to face the world again. It’s like each message I receive from people who are worried about me is a receipt of their love. This is directly proportional to my own childhood story and completely selfish. Do not do what I’ve done. Instead, if you want to be left alone (especially if you have a history with depression), just explain this to the loved ones in your tribe. They will understand and you will be helping avoid unnecessary worry for them.

Perception.

After you’re left in a puddle from sheer exhaustion, I promise you’ll feel oddly better. It won’t take your problems away but releasing your emotions physically is key. It allows yourself time to process and accept your new world. But while crafting your resume, brushing up on interviewing skills, and asking for referrals, set aside time for yourself away from the fear and energy of finding a new job. Unplug. Go for a daily walk to clear your mind from the cobwebs of defeat and make room for opportunity and success.

M arinate in possibility.

Most of us in this world don’t have the luxury of taking time off without pay. We live paycheck to paycheck. We have children we need to feed, bills that keep piling up. Finding a new job is paramount. But — if you can weave in your dream job when searching; allowing yourself to imagine a different world — you’ll feel childlike energy that perhaps has been dormant for years. You may not attain your dream job, but with new inspiration comes new ideas and opportunities you may haven't even thought of, had you not allowed yourself to aim high.

To some, getting laid off is the best thing that ever happened to them because they wouldn't have found their dream job otherwise. At the risk of sounding trite, endings have the makings of fabulous beginnings. Yea. I’m not quite there yet either. But it’s a good idea to keep on our front burner.

If you suffer from PTSD and depression as I do, don’t be hard on yourself for not being able to ‘shake it off’ and ‘get back out there’ right away. Your story is your own and getting trapped in the comparison game is dangerous. Instead, stay in your lane with one slight alteration: try peeking through your own, new lens. Is there something you’ve wanted to try that because of your old career, held you back? Allow yourself to venture into new career ideas. Search for job postings that make you wonder: “Am I qualified for this position?” Your answers may surprise you.

E ndings create beginnings.

My early career days were all about chasing the all-mighty dollar. I was flailing, dipping my toes in any career that would have me: sales, marketing, advertising, retail management. Although none of these paths led to fulfillment, each job was a lesson in their own right.

Receiving that empty box from my current employer to return my equipment was a trigger — I felt like that twenty-something young woman again not knowing her next move. Then I realized I made my way out of that old life on my own, and have been self-taught and thriving ever since.

So, instead of numbing the pain with any vice I could get my hands onto ignoring reality as I have done in my twenties, I’m leaning into the grief instead of numbing the pain, pretending it doesn’t exist. Vices are a great distraction, but the pain waits for you; you must feel it to move through.

The unknown.

As of today, I have no idea where I or anyone else will land. What I do know is that we all must keep trying.

Everyone has survival stories. Think about how you got past those. Praise yourself. Be kind to who you are and know that you can do it again.

And we will do it again.

What now?

Scared? Me too. Helpless? I know the feeling — but we’re not. Repeat after me: Feelings are not facts. You may feel deflated (natural), you may feel like a failure (you are not), so remember this mantra. Feelings aren’t always facts.

Don’t allow yourself to wallow in grief longer than necessary. I’ve done this many times and when the grief morphs into self-pity the wheels fall off.

This is the time to dig into your well of accomplishments. Take baby steps. One dish, one load of laundry, one resume, and cover letter at a time. And remember you are not alone with countless others in the same struggle as you. You may feel alone, but us lay-off pandemic casualties are part of a much bigger and darker side of history. We are in it right now; not through it. But if history teaches us anything, this too shall pass.

Instead of focusing on the darkness, remember there is always light once we work our way through. Let your belief in yourself be your flashlight.

Make a plan.

Research, research, research; homework for the adult mind.

Update your resume to reflect the ‘buzzwords’ each job posting mentions. Learn their mission statement and ‘about me’ sections from their website. Craft your cover letters to correlate with each posting desired qualifications.

But don’t ever lie. The last thing you want is to be a fraud, on top of being unemployed. Didn’t graduate college? Be honest and explain why. Employers will appreciate your candor and transparency. As the old saying goes in romance, the same can be said for your career: there’s a lid for every pot.

Now what?

If you’ve been laid off like I was because of the Global Pandemic, you may want to evaporate into a puddle of self-loathing right now. If you’re not in danger of hurting yourself or others, by all means, unplug and binge your favorite comedy series until you feel strong enough to get back in the game. But don’t get comfortable in your bathrobe and dirty laundry.

Who knows, maybe you’ll lose yourself in thought and opportunity while you escape the demands of day-to-day work. You could even use your time researching companies with who you feel better aligned, but were held back by fear or comfort with your current job and possibly making a change.

Enter COVID-19. A tragedy all around. Dare we study our professional background and search for varying opportunities? Being let go because of a global pandemic is a good place to find out.

Here goes everything.