Why Gen-X Single Parents are Broke!
By: Patti Tarell
Tags: Divorce, Financial Struggles, Gen X, Single Moms

So many divorced parent’s depend on child support to help support their children. The payment should help cover food, clothing and keeping a roof over their heads. It most often does not cover anything extra leaving the live-in parent with extra expenses and less savings over the years. Gen-X are particularly hit hard because the cost of living has significantly increased to feed and house the kids over the past 15 years while the child support most likely has not.

And on top of that, when the kids turn 18, they are likely still living at home, and without any child support help from the other parent. Millennials and Gen-Zers can’t move out as easily as previous generations. As a single parent who has been through this raising 4 kids on my own, it’s a most distressing time financially and I want to give a shout out to all parents who continue to do what’s best for their kids even when the financial burden becomes greater. But also, let’s find a way to change up the system to improve the lives of those who have the extra responsibilities and increases in costs.

Child Support Doesn’t Cover Enough

As all single parents know, raising children on your own is not only time-consuming, but expensive. The child support payments mandated by the state only accounts for living expenses and child care. I guess the state assumes that the absent parent will help out with extra school expenses, medical expenses, outings that all kids do, extracurricular activities such as choir, band, theater, and sports, which is all quite expensive. Nor does it take into account how high the live in parents car insurance payments will go up when the kids turn 16 and start driving. And with kids needing computers and cell phones in todays world, it’s just one more extra expense that was not considered in child support.

In addition to all the extra expenses, the cost of living that has skyrocketed these past 15 years, has left many Gen-X single parents shuffling for ways to stay afloat.

As a single mom of 4, these are the expenses that compounded as extra expenses and increased cost of living. In my experience, child support only covered 1/4 of my expenses and their dad was making twice the income of me. Your experience might be different, but none of these extras are considered in child support calculations.

Food as their appetites increase — Feeding kids while they are young is way less expensive than when they are teenagers. And with the cost of food doubling or tripling on most food items, if you were locked into a child support amount 10 years ago, you are losing alot in food support today.

Extra medical expenses — while most often, expenses not covered by insurance should be split, the live-in parent more often then not has to take the burden. And to get reimbursed for half from the other parent can be a challenge.

School fees

Extracurricular fees

Repairs for things broken around the house (active kids, sports, theater! you understand!)

New beds and furniture as they grew

Flights to prospective colleges

Tutoring and private school fees for our ADHD child

Fees for drivers license (and required courses)

Car insurance — way too much when your kids turn 16 and start driving! Especially if you have boys. My insurance went up 4 times!

Car expenses — yes, cars need maintenance and whether they were driving my car or their own, there is always something that needs fixed.

Accidents, like paying for a new garage door when your child accidentally hits it, or when your child is in a car accident and your deductible and expenses are over $1000

Computers, cell phones, and other technology that is pretty much required in todays world.

None of these things are covered as part of the child support expectations for expenses. But they are all real, most are necessary and they cost extra money.

Cost of Living Increase

Maybe your divorce agreement was different, but there is no child support cost of living increase built in. When you sign your divorce agreement, the amount stays the same and if you have young children, it could be for 15+ years.

With a steady increase of living expenses, including food, health care, housing, etc, child support staying the same starts to take it’s toll on the live-in parent. For me, 4 kids, cost of food doubled, child support did not, that became my extra responsibility. And feeding 4 kids is expensive.

And while this is a typical scenario, when the non-live in parent who pays child support, gets job and salary advancements over the course of 15 years, and doesn’t have to pay more without the hassle of going to court, while the live-in parent is struggling to feed the kids, there is a problem in the system.

What? They may be 18, but they are still living at home.

When the kids turn 18, the live in parent is burdened even more by losing the child support payment. This is a really tough time for so many single parents who have given their lives, 1000x more hours of time put into raising the kids, and are now stuck with even more financial set-backs over and above the extra they have been set back already.

With the push for kids to stay at home and attend college, why doesn’t child support cover the kids until they are 22? Even without college, it is very difficult for an 18 year old to move out! But the child support is standardized to end when the child turns 18.

Here’s what I suggest the divorce agreement includes when one parent has the children live-in full time:

Increase in child support payments at the rate of the cost of living increases each year.

Increase in child support payments when non-live in parent get’s salary increases.

100% of medical coverage by the non-live in parent. As a parent who had a 50/50 arrangement (most of the time I never collected his share as I had to pay in-office), my time in going to the doctors was well worth more than the out of pocket expenses. In my case, I had to pay both time and money.

Extend child support to 22 if the children are still living at home.

Shout out to all you moms out there who hang in there and keep fighting for more.