How to Attract Love (1): Realise What We Want
By: Celeste Cheng
Tags: Spiritual Growth, Love, Spirituality, Law Of Attraction, Attraction

Herrliberg, Zürich, Switzerland

It is only when we realise and can articulate what we understand as love, can we attract the love we desire. Romantic relationships represent chances for us to appreciate who we are with the lovable qualities we have, and reflect on what we value in life. The people we hold/held (once) so dearly, and heartbreaks that ached so much always open windows for us to see deep within, what we really want. And it is not about learning what to change or sacrifice in ourselves to get love: do not force yourself to become who you are not comfortable with being, but rather knowing that it can and will work when we truly embrace our own characters, and trust that we are worthy of the love we want. But what is it that we want? What does love mean? Can we describe love? And do we really need to become the perfect woman or man society tells us are desirable, in order to feel appreciated, cherished and loved?

We often think of attracting romance and love as a series of trade-offs: Don’t be such an introvert, be more proactive! Don’t appear too eager, curb your enthusiasm in order to demand respect (from love interests)! Go out and get a life, show that HE/SHE is not the only thing you care about, no matter how infatuated you are with him/her now! Lose weight! There are tons and tons of relationship gurus out there teaching people the tactics to get the love they deserve. They offer great advice for how life can be more interesting if we are to break away from our comfort zone. However, what these techniques ultimately focus on is that we have to be different from who we are, and that there are things we have to give up, in order to receive love, which is wrong.

We are worthy of love. We deserve to love and be loved.

The law of attraction states that we attract more of what we want. We have to first figure out what we want and be able to articulate it, so that we can bring them into our lives. One thing to help manifest what we want is to question the motive. It is great to be more proactive and socialise with people, if we do it so that we enjoy new experience, rather than to fulfil a precondition of finding love established by someone else. It is awesome to show that we are interested in someone because we really are excited to see and hear from them. Life will become more interesting if we learn to take care of ourselves, devote ourselves to what we are interested in because we want to, not because we are ticking off a list of what is “desirable”.

One way I find useful to attract love begins with a simple writing exercise. Take a piece of paper and a pen, sit down and relax. Write “love” in the centre of the piece of paper. Then begin listing qualities that relate to your definitions of “love”. Is it the feeling of being appreciated? cherished? sheltered? Is it the opportunity to take care of someone because you love him/her? Is it the joy of sharing a life with another person? Is it the cozy and warm feeling you have when you cuddle each other?

Then, what do you seek in the person in order to experience the above qualities? An understanding person that knows and accepts who you are? A generous person that is happy to share all important moments in life with you? An adorable person that you just cannot get enough of? Write your own custom list of qualities.

The above exercise should help clarify what you want and why you want what you want. This is important as we emanate energy in the form of thoughts and desires, which in turn attract things and people that have the similar energy. Therefore, the first step to attracting love is to clarify what “love” means and be able to articulate it.