How Great Bosses Helped Me To Be My Better Self
Tags: Mentor, Leadership Development, Leadership, Relationships, Boss

“Boss’, the word itself brings out various kinds of emotions in every individual who has worked under a supervisor. For some it brings positive memories, a smile to their lips and a warm feeling in their hearts. While for others, it triggers anger, disscontempt, apathy etc. I fortunately or unfortunately had the opportunity to work with both kinds. My first boss, whom I don’t remember too fondly, was an important reason for me to quit the organisation within a span of 11 months. Those 11 months were some of the most miserable ones in my professional life. I hated going to work everyday but was too apprehensive to quit as I had just set foot into the work sphere.

The focus of this article isn’t on terrible bosses. May be I’ll write on the predicaments of having an unlikeable boss another day because even dreadful bosses do teach important lessons. It’s also important to bear in mind that the terms “great”, “terrible”, “dreadful”, “wonderful” etc. are all subjective.

I first met Indrani di in 2012 when I came down to Kolkata from Jaipur for a short break. I was looking to relocate back to Kolkata and someone I know asked me to write to Sanlaap enquiring if they have any opening. I did just that and within a few hours I received an email from Indrani di asking me to come down to Sanlaap’s office the next day for a meeting. I was very new to the development sector and had absolutely no idea about the anti-trafficking sector. The only thing I had in my favour was my education as I had two Masters degrees. My previous job taught me very little and drained me completely of my self-confidence and self-esteem.

Indrani Sinha, who was fondly called Indrani di by almost everyone working in her organisation and most in the anti-trafficking sector, was the Founder Director of Sanlaap. Established in 1987, Sanlaap has been working over 3 decades on combating human trafficking, gender injustice and violence against women and children. Indrani di was the Executive Director and Secretary of Sanlaap from the time of its formation to her demise in 2015. I worked with Indrani di from 2012 to 2015 and she’s someone who will always mean a lot to me.

I won’t say Indrani di was perfect. She was as human as you and me and so wasn’t completely flawless. But to me she was my hero. At that point in my life, I was really doubting myself, wasn’t sure about my ability as a development professional and had little idea on the issue of human trafficking. But Indrani di believed in me when I myself didn’t. She gave me some important donors and programmes to manage when I was just a month into the organisation. To me it felt like she threw me into the deep end of the pool and left me to my resources to figure out how to swim on my own. But I knew that she was there, lurking somewhere in the background, ready to throw me the life support if I was to drown. The more she put her trust in me, the more I wanted to perform, even if it was mostly to impress her in the beginning. In my 3.5 years of working with her, I discovered my strengths, and was pleasantly surprised with my own potential. I probably would have stayed longer with Sanlaap if Indrani di was around.

Fast forward 2.5 years. Year 2018. That’s when I joined Kamonohashi Project- a Japanese Trust that has been funding programmes on survivors leadership and their access to justice in India since 2012. Tomomi Shimizu-the Kamo India Programme Director-was my immediate supervisor at Kamo. At 5ft 3” tall and rather slender, Tomomi could come across as soft to those seeing her for the first time. But a couple of minutes into a meeting with her, you will realise that Tomomi is no pushover. She won’t mince her words and her facial expressions and body language will make it completely evident how exasperated she is feeling with you :) And that’s why I love Tomomi. There’s no hypocrisy or duplicity about her. I’ve had the most honest and deep conversations with her and never have I felt that I can’t be candid with her.

It’s not like Tomomi and I never butted heads or had a disagreement. Oh, we’ve definitely had our share of arguments and squabble. And yet, whenever I felt low or was caught up in my feelings of inadequacy, it was Tomomi who was there to reassure me, to make me feel that I mattered. Tomomi could be a tough task master, holding her team to the highest standards of accountability and yet she is the most empathetic and compassionate boss I’ve worked with till date. Tomomi was not only my supervisor but also my voice of reason, my sounding board and my friend. That however did not mean that she would compromise on our supervisor-supervisee relationship and not scold me when my work was not up to the mark. She always wanted to build my skills so that I became adept at managing my portfolio and grew as a professional. I think I can safely say that it’s only at Kamo where I felt that conflicts are okay; giving honest feedback to your supervisor is okay, disagreeing with your boss’s point of view is okay. A boss who encourages you, invests in developing you and your skills and treats you as an equal will always bring out the best in you.

You know you truly have a great boss if s/he is approachable; gives you the space to share exactly what and how you feel, asks for your insights and pushes you hard at times so that you can reach your full potential. A good boss will also always hold everyone accountable including themselves. While I’m no expert on bosses but I definitely know which of my bosses brought out the best in me and what qualities of them made them great bosses. Like John Maxwell said “Leaders become great not because of their power but, because of their ability to empower others.”