Today, I will do something irreversible…
By: Yoann Dujmovic
Tags: First Post, Writing Challenge, Writing Life

Something even the best writers on medium can’t do (anymore).

Photo by Tim Trad on Unsplash

It’s true. What I’m about to live today is a unique moment, that cannot be undone. It has something singular for the person doing it, even though many people have done it before me.

Nothing dangerous (I swear), nothing complicated (it seems), nothing you should report (at least to the police).

The more I write those lines, the more I’m wondering how many of you have guessed what I’m about to do. I’m sure some of you have this ability to read between the lines and get enough clues to know already what this is all about.

You know, those people who can watch a movie and guess what is coming in the scenario (I dedicate this ability to my wife, whose favorite game is to guess and find what is coming next in the series we watch — especially in “grey’s anatomy” episodes : will the character die or not ?).

Today, I’ll do something for the first time. And I cherish the first times.

How many of you have a ritual for the “first times” ? Your own celebration ? It can be very simple, like opening a bottle (who said champagne ?), writing that moment down on the “first times list”, or just saying “it’s the first time I…” out loud to share with all the witnesses around you. It is the same process as taking a picture to immortalize the exact moment and be able to get back to it later and remember even the simplest piece of your life.

When you get older (OK, I’m not that old), the first times are one of the sweetest memories that come back to you ; it has a special taste between excitation, anxiety and uniqueness.

when you become parents, one of your friend or uncle will offer you this must have book called “the fist times of my child” so that you can note down every time your mini you has discovered a new sensation. here is a quick non chronological non exhausting list :

The first word (of course he said “daddy” !)

The first tooth (this is why he couldn’t stop crying for the past week !)

The first night in a row (this one is a life changing victory for the parents)

The first time he walks (OK, he looks a lot like his dad when he is drunk)

The first pooh alone in the toilet (another great victory for the parents, but don’t throw away the dippers yet, you will still need them a couple of month for the night time)

The first time he writes his name (now he will write this word on everything he can, walls included)

The first time he writes a medium article (oops ! I must have put this one in the wrong list, it might be time to stop)

Today I’ll do something for the first time. An it might be scary

Of course, even if I’m excited by this new first time, I’m also scared ; that’s the thing with the first times. There is a whole bunch of frightening feelings that goes with it, and sometimes they win.

How many of you were about to “jump” into the unknown but suddenly flipped back and didn’t take the shot ? This fear that blocks you from discovering new sensations, and avoid you from taking risks that could end up with failure.

For anyone who has ever been in this situation, or keeps living those awkward moments where the fear is just stronger than the excitement, here is my advice :

“I’m not gonna die”

It’s the sentence I often repeat myself when something new is about to happen and I don’t feel confident about it. I used it in many cases and the fact that I am here today in front of my laptop writing those lines makes it right.

(of course this advice doesn’t apply if you are about to jump from a building, the sentence would literally be wrong — In this case you should just step back and ask yourself “could my life be worse than that ?” Hopefully, the answer is always “YES”).

In my case, this small 4 words sentence has the ability to push this tiny little fear away, focusing on what might happen to me, at worst is not death (maybe shame, a couple of bruises, a long distance walk, a “NO” to my question… nothing disturbing enough not to try it).

Today I’ll do something for the first time. An I hope it won’t be the last.

This jump into the unknown that I’m performing today can be the beginning of a great journey, and I hope it will be a long one, full of discovering and passion, meaningful conversations and learnings.

It can also be very short, and end up in a couple of weeks or months, but this possibility doesn’t completely depends on me (it also depends on you, reading lovers).

Today, I’m hitting the publish button for the first time.

PS : Why wouldn’t you also do so ?