When Not to Press Publish
By: Rj Carr
Tags: Writing, Censorship, Draft, Vietnam, Catholic

Photo by Kai Pilger on Unsplash

A question that maybe every writer experiences is whether to publish in the first place

When you are working with editors, the decision falls into their laps. When you are writing alone here on Medium or running your own blog or publication then it falls into yours.

We all have anxiety of how some may take our writing. We may have trepidation about how readers will receive it and even what action they may take from it. The critical comments may appear and we may have more trepidation over what someone could say than over what someone actually says.

Maybe I should wait?

What happens when we look over the article and decide that we choose not to publish it even though we researched it, wrote it, edited it and polished it. We question whether now is the time to press publish or publish it unlisted if at all.

I am not talking about whether someone will be offended but whether someone puts into action what the article depicts.

There is a reason that certain programs include the disclaimer don’t try this at home. People try it at home and then end up in the hospital or worse. However, what if it involves something more drastic.

When I was doing some research I found a name kept coming up. I decided to look it up and found one of the most stark events of the anti Vietnam war movement. It was the case of a twenty-two year old man acting in protest against the war in New York in 1965. He died a gruesome death thirty excruciating hours later. The consequences of his actions could not possibly have been unseen and he was the third such person to commit such an act of protest in the United States in as many weeks. Fortunately, he was the last.

It was a powerful story, even one year later, writers addressed the state of our country as a reflection on the anniversary of his protest and at least one reflection on the incident by a colleague I found written forty years later.

Today, when there is so much shock running through the country and the world, I had to ask whether this article should be published at all.

Is this the time to publish such a stark story?

Many would call that censorship and indeed it is. However, I am not sure now is the time to publish it. This becomes the issue for the independent writer who is also editor.

I remember when I first started writing I would be overwhelmed by anxiety and had to learn to let it go. I reflected on when I parachuted in Otay Mesa, California. There are some actions you just let happen knowing when you act, you reach the point of no return.

I was thousands of feet in the air on a static line jump standing on the wing of the airplane. The instructor said jump. I actually just let go and immediately fell into the point of no return. There is no way back to the aircraft as it continues forward and for me the only way was down with the help of the parachute, (hopefully).

I remember feeling almost every cell in my body react like: “What did you just do?!” The adventure was a great experience but I always remember that moment whenever I reach places where just completing the action or hitting the publish button is in order.

We all have those moments when we just reach our point of no return. When an article is ready, we know some people will benefit from it and maybe others will hate it. However, there is always that one article that you say, I will hold this one back right now, maybe revisit it in the future. I felt I had to do that with this one.

The history was fascinating:

The previous Saturday there were protests nationally against a new federal law making it a felony to destroy a draft card. It was 1965, the first year of Lyndon Johnson’s only term for which he was elected president. The anti-war movement was not as much in full gear as it would be in a year or two. Resistance was just starting to grow. Often times men yelled “Hell No, I won’t go.”

Similarly, there were counter protestors calling for dedication to our country no matter what. The tension grew between both sides as the war raged on. We learned decades later it was escalating in ways that leaders were not forthcoming about it to us.

Dorothy Day, co-founder of the Catholic Worker Movement wrote of published news report where some economists saw the war was going to be good for the American economy. As a pacifist, Christian anarchist such sentiment was obviously anathema to her. Counter protestors supporting the establishment called her ‘Moscow Mary.’

Police arrested men for burning their draft cards at the protest event in New York City. They ended up spending two years in jail.

The following Tuesday one participant in this protest wanted to make a stand against the war and did so across the street from the United Nations. Thirty hours later he succumbed to a long gruesome death by his own hand.

Fear obviously entered the scene that this the third such incident in three weeks would lead to more but he was the last. Maybe because it was so gruesome and well reported by journalists for the Catholic Worker as well as other more mainstream publications including Time Magazine; the shock of the incident could not be dismissed.

Today, with our country currently in such division and people struggling so desperately I decided I could not publicly publish this article and so it remains unlisted.

I just don’t feel now is the time to publish such a disturbing account of a protest to a divided nation when the nation is now similarly, starkly divided.