How to be Kind to Yourself When You Are Not Consistent?
By: Brunda Sunil
Tags: Kindness, Habit Building, Mindfulness, Habits For Success, Consistency

Photo by Ani Kolleshi on Unsplash

Each one of us here wants to succeed in life, in the fields we choose or in the relationships we commit to. But it’s not every day that we can actually stay true to the words and actions. I have been in this phase a million times before. The difference is back then when I was a teenager, I had the time capsule in my hand. I could do anything and I chose to while away hours together watching Kdrama or talking over to a friend. But now, in my late twenties, I don’t want to waste time.

It is probably because I have seen deaths, I have seen failures, I have seen betrayals and what more, I have seen separation. Hence I want to stay true to my purpose and the work really hard, just to see myself meet my potential. It is self-love, self-challenge.

So, I started investing my time, money, savings into the field I loved more.

Writing.

There is nothing in the world that can suffice me other than the pen and paper and my flow of thoughts into it. But lately, I haven’t been quite consistent. There are external vulnerabilities that have quite got the better of my discipline.

I held on a grudge, a bad one, filled with guilt for not showing up every day. I had my reasons but it wasn’t valid to my brain.

Then nothing went well.

It was then I realized that the problem was not the circumstances, the problem was me! I had to rewire myself into being kind TO MYSELF to meet the better version of me.

Accept Your Limitations- Don’t Multi-task

When we start out, we overwork ourselves. We love working, being in the enthusiast phase and getting things done. The same happened with me as well.

The first few days are when I dream big, make big plans, and often forget that there are time constraints. For example, I have a toddler who is running around making a mess everywhere but with my plans, my time was limited for work. This caused unnecessary frustration over the work that couldn’t be completed, of the little time I got to spend with him and anchoring a guilt of not being the best mother to him with my big dreams.

Likewise, you would have a limitation. Don’t ignore it or turn it into positivity that wouldn’t last. Accept it and work around it. Make time for everything and make it one at a time. If you are playing with the kid, you should only do that. Of you are cooking, divert the kid with toys or screen time, be assured he is safe and only cook, fast and come back outside.

The same holds true, don’t juggle, handle with a different approach.

Appreciate Your Small Efforts

Pause whenever you want, take it as a luxury you have earned for not giving up on many things. During the pause, appreciate yourself for the little success and also for the failures. Because you have been working, trying to get things done and you are moving forward! That is important, even by an inch is also progress.

Don’t beat yourself with the deadlines and wordcounts. I wanted to write 1500 words per day, whom am I kidding. It is absolutely doable but not everyday! There are some days, where you need to pause, take a deep breath, and appreciate your efforts!

Believe In Routines

So far, more than motivation, it is the routine that has kept me going, the art of time-blocking through the day which I learned from a blog coach Shailaja V has been hihgly beneficial. I am able to commit to my work at hand and a sense of satisfaction prevails.

Yes, motivational quotes help, but for a short time, it might be the trigger but to make you move forward, you need to build a habit. I always think of brushing my teeth whenever I hear the word “habit”. Because back when I was a little kid. Brushing was a cumbersome chore. I used to think if I didn’t have to spend the boring 2 minutes here, I would be playing and creating sandcastles. But once in the habit, I started brushing twice a day and I loved it.

Why?

Understand the Purpose

Whatever work you are doing, for it to become a habit, you need passion.

Passion is driven by purpose.

Know your purpose, are you helping someone or are you helping yourself? Is the writing routine making you a better person and is helping you pay your bills. Once you fall in love with your purpose, the habit is a side effect of it.

If you are able to enjoy the process, then discipline, routine, and habit become a part of the journey. It won’t be cumbersome. You will love it.

Conclusion

It is fine once in a while if you take a break for self-care or sometimes even to just watch some series. Your mental health is more important than deadlines and gravitating habits!

Once you are charged, promise me to get back to the limelight and start writing!