“breathe in… breathe out…”
Tags: Fun, Lol, Breathe, Short Story

“relax, breathe in … breathe out…”- asking my friend who is fighting with a shopkeeper in a mall over his brand-new woodland shoes.

“you should bill as per the display amount. Why are you billing extra 135 bucks?”- asking to return his 135 bucks back after purchase.

Well, the mistake is with showroom display, why he should lose his temper? — “I asked him again breathe in bro… relax”

“dude, I am tiered of this shit!”- moving back to basement getting back his 135bucks my friend murmured.

“you should not lose your calmness, whatever the situation is relax breathe in… breathe out…”- patting on his back we exited.

“yea bro, breathing keeps your mind relaxed, true”- sitting opposite to each other in a multicuisine bar my friend was breathing as he never did it before.

“flower this shit, lets focus on food and drinks, Raju can you please take the order”- waving at the waiter.

“bro, you are in such a sophisticated place, even here you address waiter as Raju?”

“all are our people we all belong to same species, what’s wrong in calling him so?”- he was confident.

“idiot! You call our area dog with the same name, remember!”- I taunted him with that.

“bro, that’s different love and this is different, you don’t understand”

Hearing to his different versions of synonyms we started our devour.

“why the heck is he honking can’t he see the red signal over there” — asking the cab behind our motorcycle to fly my friend signed.

We intentionally started our bike after the signal turned green. That was a sweet revenge.

“relax drive now, breathe in… breathe out…”- patting him from behind again we continued.

The reluctant driver showing his hand to us passed on and hit a car coming from opposite side.

My friend screamed at him- “relax bro, breathe in… breathe out…” and we moved along.

“really this breathing exercise calms you down, need to practice often in many such situations” — we are sitting on sofa watching some sports.

Whenever I lose my temper, he just murmurs me those words and so do I.- “breathe in…breathe out…”

“bro, this owner has increased 500 Rs. from next rent cycle, it’s been a year as his reason” — need to ask him to reduce.

“Leave it bro, he is an old grandpa with no kids around”

The breathing exercise became quite famous in our area, each shop or store when we visit seems to be relaxed and has no breathing issues.

“where is the grandma who sells flowers?” — pointing to the place outside the temple we usually visit my friend asked to nearby flower shop lady.

“she passed away yesterday; she had breathing problem”- lady handing over few flowers to us.

“man! We would have visited the temple yesterday we could have saved the poor soul with our breathing exercise” — my friend speaking to me as he has done his PhD in breathing.

“the pujari is awesome dude!”- I was surprised to see him again, but he is as same as always!

“what’s wrong now?” — I asked.

“no no, nothing wrong he continuously uttering the mantras with out breathing, he should be relaxed else god will be impressed and take him back” — my friend commented.

“bro, just keep quite and pray, lets discuss about that later”- murmuring to my breath-e-philiac friend.

Sitting at park we were discussing on the topic.

“bro, Shankar Mahadevan sung that breathless song without taking a breath! These pujari’s are doing from ages but they are not popular as him” — my friend kept a valid point with me.

“they have that capacity to perform such rituals which need practice, you start doing pranayama you can also do that” — me commenting back.

“well, its not easy dude- I can’t hold my breath for 30 seconds under water” — trying to light his cigarette.

“I can see the irony!”- taking his cigarette from his hand.

“if you smoke so much how can you even imagine that you can do all this breathing stuff?”- putting the non lit cigarette back to my pocket, asked him.

“cigarettes give ability to think and get new ideas bro”- “yea, and free cancer”- punching him back.

“it’s my last one, will never ever smoke one again. If feel like, I will just relax and breathe in… breathe out…” — pulling out the cigarette from my pocket, he promised.

We stop by a near by shop for some tea- “get me a cigarette”- my friend asked the shop owner.

“relax bro, breathe in… breathe out…”- said me lightning his cigarette.

That was my last breath tip for anyone! I never gave such tips which results in such savage outcomes!