fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Spirit It Bright
By: Agnes Laurens
Tags: Creativity, Emotions, Poetry, Writing, Spirituality

Poetry

Spirit It Bright

Photo by Anton Atanasov from Pexels

Hanging on to that energy

Bright through the glory

That need to tell the best story

By the spirit of all your elegy

Deeper than I felt yesterday

Like something is up to play

With the spirit of the upper class

When things happen in a flesh

Taking your inner spirit in his

Ripped by the one and only

Why do they have me to diss?

Always in a time of slowly

Bright your spirit up

Leave it out your manner

As you find it in your cup

Say it onto your banner

Loud into the crowd

Full of people there

Hearing your proud

At least it is fair
You Don’t Tell Me. I won’t listen anyway
By: Bhavna Narula
Tags: Creative Writing, Poetry Writing, Emotions, Poetry On Medium, Poetry

You Don’t Tell Me

Photo by Robert McGowan on Unsplash

You don't tell me

what to do and what not to do.

That I am a tiny dot in this colossal universe,

and therefore my life is of no value.

That I had emerged from the soil

and will go back into it.

You don’t tell me

what my true worth is.

Oh, I bet you don’t even know I exist.

You just sit there in the highest atmospheric layer

maybe even beyond that

and release self-acclaimed orated speeches.

In fact, I will tell you

what I feel right now.

I may be a tiny dot in the universe

but remember,

I have a universe of my own.

A universe where I am as important

as the stars, planets, earth, moon, and the Sun.

My existence holds value to the people in them,

and for them,

I am not just any dot in the system,

I am their entire UNIVERSE.

So, you don’t tell me

what to do and what not to do

cos brother sorry to say,

but you really don't know anything about me.
“Don’t be sad” is the Most Useless Comforting Words Ever
Tags: Personal, Psychology, Inspiration, Emotions

You know it but you still say it.

“Don’t be Sad”

“Be happy, day still goes on”

“Don’t cry”

“It will be Alright”

“Things will Get Better”

“Tomorrow is a new day”

“I know how you feel”

STOP! It is not like I don’t know about these but the truth is, I’m. sad. right. now.

These responses all sound caring but they do not mean a thing. Just a bunch of reflexive responses you gave when you hear someone’s sad. What can I possibly get after hearing your “Don’t be sad” comment? I’m sad because I feel stuck. I feel stuck because I’m not inspired by things around, by my way of thinking. I’m locking myself out in a room. There’s no stimulation, no solution, no suggestion, no sign of support, no sign of love, not even a trace of any comment related with that specific incident that makes me sad. There’s no key. You can only say there’s empathy and it’s what I need the least. You thought I’m out of breath opening windows for me but all I want to is to escape the room.

Optimism is not what I need. Not right now. I know tomorrow is another day but I don’t want today. I don’t want the rest of the day. Yes I’d really love to skip the day and go to tomorrow directly. But does that mean the problem is not here now? My sadness still follows me for the rest of my day even though the sun still rises at 6am. There’s really no meaning to the quote “tomorrow is another day” until you are at the end of today. You are literally at the dawn waiting for tomorrow to start over AFTER the sorrow. THEN it is meaningful when you say this quote – tomorrow is another day! You can do better! It will be alright!

So what should you do when someone is sad? Well, I’m not saying that you are responsible for my sadness that you need to cheer me up. But if I’m someone that you care, there’s really not much you can and should do. No words needed. JUST A BIG LONG HUG. A hug is worth a thousand words. Or I’ll tell you what not to do. Do not say any of the combinations of the useless words above. He/she will thank you at the bottom of heart.
Bubloo(Urdu word; use as a nickname which means chubby but cute person)
Tags: Thoughts, Emotions, Someone Special, Feelings, Love

Its just not a nick name. Its a voice of a person who didn’t only wants attention also wants affections. First time when I heard this word “BUBLOO” , it was just a name but after knowing about his thoughts I fall in love with that person. That person who only wants loyalty from me. A person changes your mind with the passage of time and you will change for a person who really wants you in her\his life. Now its the time, when I really wants to hear this word “BUBLOO” and I missed it a lot.

Now on every voice note first words are “Han Bubloo” (Yes! Bubloo). Times change your feelings change along emotions and attitude of others towards you. I am changed for him because when he said “I want to be your everything because you’re everything to me. I want you emotionally, spiritually even physically to hold your arms and hug you like I am completely your own soul”. Its all about feelings that will change for a someone special or with a someone special, its up to you how to deal with them. It doesn't mean everyone who say you “I love you” is loyal but there is someone who is only for you and he changes you, your mind, your thoughts, your way of thinking and even your smile’s shine. So be happy with your someone special. Outer beauty is not important but inner beauty is the most important to live happy. I thought no one in this world can change you and your thoughts but now its vice versa.
3 Steps Towards Achieving a Secure Attachment Style
By: Aceline Lavanya
Tags: Self Improvement, Emotions, Relationships, Feelings, Personal Development

As we go back and forth on our relationship status from single to ready to mingle and single again, we often notice a pattern that fills the loop-holes.

Understanding why relationships are falling apart is crucial if one consciously wants to improve framing a healthy network of people around them.

In our dating world, we meet dates that show ambivalent or avoidant attachment styles. And as much as we try to compromise and fit-in with them, we fail, and the relationship does not sustain.

If we study the attachment styles in-depth, the most sought after is the “secured attachment style.” Which is somehow NOT as simple to execute as it may sound, and all the statistics show.

Why? Because we rarely consider ourselves insecure. We are always our secured self; even an avoidant person can claim he/she feels secure for who they are. We rarely can criticize ourselves, and if things do not go correct, then the other person is wrong.

Then the question arises, what indeed is the secured attachment style. As well as, is it possible to change between the attachment styles.
How to deliver a Feedback ?
Tags: Feedback, Rbk, Emotions

So, everyone don’t like bad feedback or a negative one like we say , but it will be accepted if we know how to deliver it . Let me help you with some tips to deliver a feedback kindly

First of all , you need to push the presenter or the person you are giving him a feedback up , it means you need to begin with a nice word like for example “thank you for your performance” .With this step , the one who’s receiving the feedback will know that his effort are worth the work. After that , you mention the good points that you’ve seen. Then , you kindly tell him what are the points that he should work on them more in a way that he can accept them “it should be better if “ , not like you are giving an order “you should do this and that “ , even if the presentation it’s bad you need to be nice at delivering it it’s batter to not give it directly it means not with this way “oh! your presentation is so bad” , in this way the presenter will not do an effort ever again that’s why we should know how to deliver a feedback to push the others to work more and more , cause all this is related with emotion.

Finally, the way that the feedback is deliver helps the receiver to accept it even if it’s bad.
a better homosocial model would emotional connection amongst middle-aged men
Tags: Isolation, Men, Emotional Connection, Male Connection, Emotions

There’s been a lot of research recently on the dynamics of Anglosphere and specifically American male friendships.

The underlying issue in the anglosphere is the male homosocial friendship model (basically how men tacitly assume friendships work) doesn’t allow for emotional connection or deep intimacy without the assumption that sex is either currently happening or an eventual goal. Basically, getting close to a guy, any guy, even a married one, is seen as a dangerous slippery slope to a night of lurid sex.

This has implications. For example, recent research suggests women have gay friends not only because it makes them feel safe (the homosocial sexual model doesn’t apply) but also because heteronormative american male culture is uniquely terrible at forming friendships.

Because same-sex intimacy is a forbidden thing to do unless you’re gay, and even then, only permitted if you plan on taking your clothes off, men never develop the interpersonal intelligence required to build meaningful friendships among each other. This makes it difficult for straight men to keep relationships with women going, even if there’s no untoward thoughts between them.

Personally I think the opioid crisis, crippling depression, suicide, mass shootings, all of these american social ailments afflicting straight, mostly divorced or unwed middle aged men would be greatly remedied by a better homosocial model that permits men to have friendships with each other without some erotic sword of damocles always hanging overhead.

There needs to be healthy social spaces where men can work through their griefs among confidants. Currently that isn’t permitted.
Emotional Pain Affects You Even When You Can’t Feel It
By: Rebeca Ansar
Tags: Personal Development, Blog, Emotions, Self, Psychology

Recently, I noticed that my laptop was running rather slowly.

A page would take next to forever to load. Images refused to show up. It was frustrating to work on the machine because of how slow the process had gotten.

So, I turned to my computer’s activity monitor. It shows the percent of my CPU and memory that is being used by running applications. Quickly, I realized that the lack of an ad blocker was the culprit.

Ads with videos galore were dominating my computer’s resources. They were hiding almost entirely off-screen, with only a slight corner visible at my screen’s edge. The only way I could see them was by pressing F3 to show all of my computer windows. I had to carefully drag the windows into view in order to click out of them.

This kept happening again and again until I set up an ad blocker. Obviously, I should have done this from the start, when I first detected the problem.

The only way out is through. We must confront our pain, our complications, and our shame. We must love ourselves through that part of our journey.

This got me thinking about human psychology.

While our minds and our laptops aren’t perfectly analogous, there is a connection in this regard.

When we have unprocessed emotional pain, it can manifest in us by slowing us down. It can make us feel sluggish and unwilling to engage with our lives.

The emotional pain hides just like those pesky windows, out of focus. You can go through life, wondering why you don’t feel quite right, and all the while you have learned how to avoid feeling the pain. This way, it’s easy to pretend it’s not there.

The pain refuses to reveal itself until we take the time to conduct a psychological inventory.

How many of us don’t take even a moment to evaluate our own psychological activity monitor? What pain and confusion are running through the back of our minds, guiding our behavior without our mindful consent?

This unfelt emotional pain leads us to pursue short-term treatments.

We hope to alleviate the anxiety through intoxication and escapism. We think we can figure things out without actually figuring anything out.

But the only thing that will work is for us to allow ourselves to feel the discomfort. Emotional pain is often accompanied by shame. Shame makes us feel compelled to hide, to distance ourselves from its source.

The only way out is through. We must confront our pain, our complications, and our shame. We must love ourselves through that part of our journey.
Christmas Feels ….
By: Sundy Gilchrist
Tags: Self, Feelings, Emotions, Christmas

Christmas Feels ….

The feelings come don’t they?

They always do whilst they are still boxed away, and we fear them erupting from their banishment and suppression ….

That stiff upper lip we paint on as we mingle with people who we still carry hurt and resentment around …that fake smile as we greet them…a sense of relief once the first meeting is over and then we can just avoid them

Intense isn’t it ?…stressful …..

Those tears that threaten to come as someone is missing from the table for the first time …knowing that we will be judged if we show our grief as the meal is served ….or as we, ourselves, are serving it ….

I wonder just how many of us escape into the bathroom, to release the top of the pressure of the emotion we feel ….how many of us steel ourselves as we look in the mirror, hands on the sink, and mutter ‘you can do this’ ?

Maybe this year coming is the year we get to know , appreciate, love and release our feelings …..?

Much love

💛💛🎄🎄

Sundy 💛💫
Painting Positivity Into the Holidays
By: Synthia S.
Tags: Life Lessons, Emotions, Resilience, Mental Health, Sadness

Treating Sadness as a Person

When forging ahead towards a path away from total sadness, it might be a good idea to develop a series of newly established traditions and rituals.

Think of your sadness as a person.

Total sadness has just died and to commemorate that sadness, you can set aside time to remind yourself that you’re not going to let this sadness consume you. Even if it's “dead”, you can still acknowledge the presence of sadness, with your newfound traditions.

Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash — It sounds silly, but rituals work for some people.

Plus, when it’s all said and done, you can take time to invest yourself in more personal or professional endeavours. Again, this isn’t easy, but it’s okay to immerse yourself in something that is time-consuming and is also secretly productive.

If that means taking an online course on a topic that you are passionately interested in, then go for it. Maybe you want to learn a new language, and you find yourself installing one of those language apps.

It’s still a nudge in the right direction and is something to be celebrated.

Photo by Meritt Thomas on Unsplash — Time for a celebratory cupcake.

Maybe you want to volunteer remotely. Perhaps your sadness will transcend yourself and the people you are speaking to will feel that you are genuine. Perhaps you will be your own saviour and you will use your own experiences to help others who are drowning.

That’s pretty amazing, in my opinion.

While it sounds like a lot to do, these various activities will keep our brain busy enough that eventually, you’ll wonder how you managed to let the sadness override everything.
In another life
Tags: Short Fiction, Short Story, Poem, Emotions, Romance

I miss you.

I miss your hair, your smell, your voice. Hell, I’m even starting to miss the random annoying questions you would ask at 3am.

It's funny how when someone is gone, you suddenly remember all the memories with them and you wish you could go back to that time.

Remember when we first met? I was working at a small café right across from your apartment. I still remember you wearing your pale blue oversized sweater and navy blue leggings.

God, your smile. What I would give to see that smile once more. I miss you everyday R. You're always consuming my thoughts and in our next life, I hope our wait will be short and our time together will be long. Then maybe, I could say the words I've been longing to tell you but never could.

"I love you".

-by DM
The Experience of Being Human
By: Galit Birk
Tags: Humanity, Emotions, Life, Self, Poetry

Shout-out to all writers who write from the heart! Come write with us here at Being Known, where we want to hear about your lived experiences, real and raw as they are, as you are.
put your heartache here
By: Rebeca Ansar
Tags: Poem, Poet, Emotions, Love, Poetry

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Make Medium yours. Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore
A teardrop
By: Nimz N
Tags: Tears, Poem, Emotions, Love, Poetry

Photo by Christian Sterk on Unsplash

A teardrop from

your eyes,

that's when I decided

not to be harsh

but to be gentle.

Seeing a drop of tears in your eyes

hurts more than

a thousand hurtful words.

I have to see you happy

to make myself truly happy.
Emotions
Tags: Coffee Shop, Emotions, Crying

Emotions

My hand slipped and hit the glass and boom there my drink went. If I was sitting in a dark room all alone it would have being fine but, unfortunately I was sitting at a coffee shop and ofcourse all the attention went to me. Not to mention the fact that I got a really big shouting and almmost started crying in front of everyone. Thankfully the bathroom was near

I had my second mental break for this week; how amazing (sarcasm) I believe I cry over the stupidest things but that’s okay because my feelings a valid even if people dont think so. This week just has not been my week but, that’s okay!! (I think)

*crying over little things is okay it just shows you care about those things ;)*

~Seeha
How to get better at saving money .
By: Sersinho Gardt
Tags: Personal Finance, Emotions, Discipline, Saving Money, Investing Tips

The emotional side of saving that is often overlooked.

My story

How the fear of not having money, always made me have money. It started off with saving money “just in case”, and ended up never being enough. At least so I thought.

Photo by Diane Helentjaris on Unsplash

Growing up money wasn’t abundant in our family. So at an early age my parents taught me to save money. We had experienced moments of just getting by with what we had. I remember the emotional impact that had on me as a kid. That emotional experience from that point on was connected to not having money and why saving became important to me.

I started saving money in multiple piggy banks. When I was old enough I got my first bankaccount and continued saving through my savingsaccount. It was just a single pile in my account at first that soon after converted into my jars principle. My account allowed for multiple “sub-accounts”. So I came up with the idea to have different jars. Each jar having a specific goal for saving money:

Just in case Education Financial Capital

The emotions I added to the goals allowed me to visualise what I would feel like when I did or didn’t reach my goal. From that point on whatever amount of money I put aside for that specific goal, only existed for that specific goal.

The secret to saving money is to have a desire to reach a specific goal and attach a strong emotion to reaching that goal that will drive you to take action.

I realised I became too strict with my saving goals. There was no room for anything that was not beneficial to reaching my goals. Also I didn’t have a saving target, which resulted in a feeling that whatever amount was saved was never enough. I considered myself fortunate, because I hadn’t had to use my just in case money. So after some saving experience I decided to make some adjustments over time. This resulted in changing my goals several times to currently:

Investing Fun and travel Personal growth Buffer

These goals together with a saving target, allowed for more leniency towards myself on reaching my goals. I felt focussed and in control of my money. I knew for some goals there was always some money aside and that it was enough at the target I had set. Disciplined as I am, I was able to set aside money on a monthly basis and divided it across my jars.

However, having money just sitting there not doing anything was concerning to me. I’d rather have my money make me more money. That is what the investing jar was for. This was money that I didn’t rely on for the short term and started investing in the stock market. A place I had learned that makes money with your money.

I have been able to help out friends and family with my method. So I’ve decided to help out even more people who will find my method useful.
Feelings
Tags: Self Improvement, Emotions, Love, Self, Feelings

Sometimes you don’t have words to express your feelings, your emotions. You just to share all these feelings with your self. At that time you want to be alone, alone doesn't mean no one is physically present around you; alone means without thinking about where you are and who is present around you. Its the time when you are on peak of your feelings even its bad or good but they are on peak.
Jealousy
Tags: Poem, Emotions, Literatura, Poetry On Medium, Poetry

Jealousy

I think my eyes have rotten, my mind is sick

They feed me lies, plant poisoneous seeds

in my eden, there's no flowers to pick

I see blood, horrible deeds..

Images of the void, deceivers of a degraded soul

Lost in vengeance, hatred and delusion

They steal what you love most, with reality they brawl

allow them not this intrusion

Look in the devil's eyes, touch his face again, as he smiles at you

Remember what he offered, divine love, like no one else will ever do

Remember how he makes you float, how he makes hell's fire run through your veins

Remember the promise he made, the way he cried, he fell,
right now, I’m looking at my foot…
Tags: Thoughts, Emotions, Anxiety

He dosent move. The only mouvement my body is making is caused by my respiration. The air comes in, and goes out. I am still. It seems like the time has stopped. I look around me. I have the feeling that I’m in a bubble. Nothing can affect me. I feel compresed. A force is restraining me from moving. Each movement is slow. Like a turtle walk. I look the little lights in the tree. They’re pink, my favorite color. I hear a tinkle. It’s the sound of the heating system. At the bottom of the street, I hear an alarm. Not the ones we can ear in the sea but the one of an ambulance or a police car. Did you ask yourself what others think about every time that sound ring? Me, yes. I “suffer” from anxiety. My brain is always searching for the worst situation that could possibly happen. Non stop. So much that sometimes, I would like to be another person. But after awhile, I remember that I like the way that I work and my capacity of always trying to find solutions. The simple fact that I’m writing this text shows how I work.

Melidipsie

Thank you for reading me!

December 23rd 2020
Can we be miserable together?
By: The Dickinson Journal
Tags: Acceptance, Emotions, Social Media

For the volcanic age of twenty-three, my friends and I sure do speak a lot about sorrow. Sipping on his third can of red-bull, S, referencing to our happy-go-lucky college days, spoke with a sense of retirement, “It seems as though we cannot be any happier than we have been, as though we have laughed the most unwary laugh of our life and unknowingly witnessed the sky turn a holy crimson blue, never to happen again.” I found myself internally debating, but eventually agreeing and surrendering to the sense of hopelessness the six of us felt on that windy night at Big Pitcher on Kodihalli Street.

We had opened Pandora’s box of adult emotions.

Growing up, I was always of the thought that you could either be happy or sad. And I had read, watched, and learned that the moment you were sad, you had to immediately work your way to reversing the emotion to happiness.

Calling one of my closest friends,X, I confided, “I don’t feel happy at work”. To which, she immediately responded, “You should be grateful that you have a job”.

My best friend,Y,who recently experienced a heart-wrenching loss of love, spoke about pouring messages asking him to move on because there was so much to be happy and grateful for.

Result? Guilt. Shame.

Result? Instagram stories with “happiness” filters that masked dark circles and hid burned corners of Banana bread. LinkedIn posts with missed breakfasts, overworked, unsatisfied hours disguised as achievements, honors, and enlightenment. What do you and I see? The tip of the iceberg.

And yet, we all continue to pretend, cheer, and uphold a measly mimicry of a perfectly happy life with no space, mention, or existence of sorrow, loss, jealousy, envy, worthlessness, or failure.

We condemn those that speak of it, and we condemn ourselves that feel it.

Can I not be scared and grateful? Can you not be worried and at peace? Can life just not be a beautiful, messy amalgamation of happy and sad, black and white, good and bad?

Maybe then, we can finally allow ourselves to accept, acknowledge our emotions, and heal at our own pace. And just maybe, find ourselves a little less lonely.
What is love?
By: Christian Sanchez
Tags: Feelings, Questions, Emotions, Love

The meaning of the word love is just an intense feeling of affection but if you ask someone else that person would say a completely different answer right? This meaning making ability of a person is capable of changing any word’s meaning right so if this is so all words can mean nothing at all right? And if so how does one say love to another if this word itself could also mean nothing at all? Does this imply that human is incapable of saying love in words or does this mean that human is capable of expressing love more than words? beyond the words you are speaking? Is it the melody of your voice or the way you move your body? Either way if this can be mastered it is quite hard to know it if is genuinely true or otherwise isn’t ? if so then does love even need to be expressed? if it isn’t expressed, will it still be called love? Does this imply that love the word may not be necessary but love the feeling is? If so how does one love if love can’t be expressed but to be felt? Does this mean that love is just actions that you do or does this mean that love is just feelings you feel? How much difference is this feelings from others feelings you can feel? Does this feeling lead to other feelings as well? So it’s like a Ferris wheel isn’t it ?one moment you’re up seeing a beautiful sky and the next moment you’re down close to the ground right? is love the only feeling that can make you feel this way or other feelings can also make you feel this way? But all of this feelings where does this come from? Is it from inside or is it from outside? if this is just from inside can’t it be self manufactured ? Can you not love but still be loving? if this is possible then the need to seek love from something isn’t necessary or you seek love from which do not exist therefore you became capable of becoming love here because you are loving something beyond here right?
I’d like to thank my friends here for jingling my bells in ways I could never imagine before…
By: Sherry Mcguinn
Tags: Hope, Holiday Greetings, Emotions, Pandemic, Writers On Medium

I’d like to thank my friends here for jingling my bells in ways I could never imagine before embarking on this “journey” a little over two years ago. You are smart, funny, supportive, and more than a little whacko, just like me.

This year has been a shit-show of the highest order and, even though we’re seeing some light at the end of this vast tunnel, it’s way too soon to “ungird our loins.” (Is that even a word?)

So what next? We continue to hunker down in our various bunkers and spill our truths onto the page because that’s what we do and who we are. We continue to inspire and inflame to engage and entertain. And be heartened that soon, we will be able to tell 2020 and the Trump Crime Family to kiss our collective ass.

To paraphrase Dickens, “Happy Holidays, all, in keeping with the situation!”
What is causing your anger? — GROW Counseling
By: Grow Counseling
Tags: Anger Management, Anger, Emotional Intelligence, Atlanta Counseling, Emotions

Anger is one of the most common complaints that clients bring up during sessions. It can be challenging to identify what is causing the anger in the first place. You may have seen the anger iceberg diagram before. This picture highlights the anger you see on the surface results from feelings underneath.

The challenge is sometimes identifying what emotions lie below the surface.

Often these emotions are negative and uncomfortable. Other times the feelings are more easily ignored or even actively suppressed. Think of this pattern of suppression, like playing a game of emotional Whack-a-mole, except there are no prizes for winning in this game. It’s a pattern that makes it more challenging to identify and process.

This pattern can be tricky to identify because sometimes, when we are upset, the feelings eventually dwindle. It is probably the case that your initial reaction to those feelings has calmed down rather than merely just going away.

Take a moment to think about times when you were angry. Was your anger ever an overreaction or more intense than the situation called for? Did you react in a way that you later regret, break something, or cause damage to a relationship? If the answer is yes, then you might have ignored or shoved down feelings of sadness, hurt, or rejection.

When these emotions get compounded over time, it makes it challenging to become aware of what is causing anger.

Usually, those hidden emotions pop up at the worst times, causing more confusion and stress. It is also likely to impact what you value most, whether those are broken items or broken relationships.

Becoming aware of these emotions is the first step in resolving them. If you identify what is causing the anger, then it becomes easier to manage it. If you are tired of playing emotional whack-a-mole, it might be scary to confront these feelings alone. Finding a trained therapist that can help you navigate these hidden feelings safely could be the first step in changing this destructive pattern.

Written by: Dustin Ellis
Depth Over Distance
By: Kirstin Van As
Tags: Connection, Space, Time, Emotions, Dreams

Today is my birthday and I will dream if I want to…

This morning I woke up with so much gratitude for my family and everything that they have done for me. For all that they are so that I can become who I am. And this is how it will continue for generations to come…

I am shaped by the experiences, thoughts, actions, memories, history, dreams, desires, and so much more from my ancestors. And it stretches beyond the tree of only my family. We are all deeply connected and I do not allow perceptions of time and space to separate me from others. We are ALL one family!

Our thoughts, dreams, and desires are and have always been, shaped by the collective. I truly believe in the butterfly effect. When I close my eyes, I sense my one-ness with the universe and how my thoughts and feelings vibrate into this field that connects us all.

Separation is an illusion. I have spent the past week or so letting go of other people’s as well as my own opinions, expectations, beliefs, ideas, concepts… everything. When none of these has a hold on me anymore, I can connect my soul to the soul of the universe.

In a popular book by Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, he wrote: “…when Jesus said “Deny thyself”, what he meant was: Negate (and thus undo) the illusion of self. If the self — ego — were truly who I am, it would be absurd to “deny” it.

What remains is the light of consciousness in which perceptions, experiences, thoughts, and feelings come and go. That is Being, that is the deeper, true I. When I know myself as that, whatever happens in my life is no longer of absolute but only of relative importance. I honor it, but it loses its absolute seriousness, its heaviness. The only thing that ultimately matters is this: Can I sense my essential Beingness, the I Am, in the background of my life at all times?” … “Or am I losing myself in what happens, losing myself in the mind, in the world?”

Only when I can detach myself from worldly things and people, can I access my true nature, my true power to create whatever it is that I want. The less control circumstances and people have over me, the more I stay in my power and steer my life towards my destiny. That does not mean I deny or block people and events as they occur; it means exactly the opposite. I am as receptive and open to engaging in as many events and with as many people as possible, but I do not allow any external influence to dictate my final decision over what I feel is best for me and others when acting from my heart.

Taking back my power from the external world allows me to operate purely from my internal reality. This will, ultimately, create my external reality.

What tools do you use to keep yourself connected to your truth?

The words for the title of this article have come from the beautiful song by Ben Howard but I’m going to add the link to my favourite Acro Yoga video here for which this song is the score just because it moves me when I watch it.
Understanding Your Anger
By: Pamela J. Nikodem
Tags: Communication, Self Improvement, Emotions, Life, Feelings

Anger is a perfectly normal emotion and you could expect to feel some anger when you’ve been treated badly. The initial emotion isn’t the real issue. It’s the choices you make after the point which have the potential to be damaging.

If your temper frequently escalates, you might believe that it’s out of your control and there is little that can be done. However, you have far more control over your emotions than you think.

The key is to discover a way to express your anger without hurting others.

Your needs are more likely to be met when you’re able to express yourself appropriately. Like any other skill, managing your emotions will take some work. But it gets easier with time, and the payoff is tremendous. Your life will be happier and healthier. Your relationships and work-life will get better.

Keep in mind your anger is simply a message some part of you believes something is wrong. Your emotion served its purpose. Now it is up to you to take the message and respond accordingly to fix the situation in an appropriate manner.

What is anger?

Anger is a powerful emotion, which can take over a person’s ability to think rationally. Anger causes the brain to process incoming data as a threat. It triggers the brain to implement the fight or flight response. In addition, anger intensifies the need to protect oneself.

Image courtesy of writer, 2020

Anger often is described as a negative internal feeling state. However, anger is almost always a secondary emotion. The reason is to cover and protect someone from pain, hurt, disappointment, or frustration. The emotions under anger are often too painful to feel, so anger comes to the rescue.

While the explanation doesn’t excuse the behaviors used when you are angry, the concept helps us grasp the powerful ability of the brain to keep us safe. Our level of anger ranges from mild irritation to blind rage. People express anger either verbally or non-verbally. It’s an automatic reaction to any real or imagined insult, frustration, or injustice.

Anger is an emotion inherent at birth. Anger is one of the many emotions we experience as a human being. We are born with happiness, sadness, anger, etc. Many believe anger is wrong or bad.

The good news, it is not wrong or bad. Anger is an emotion, which informs us of something going wrong according to our perceptions. Anger management teaches us we have two choices after we get angry: a good choice or a bad choice. The education we receive reminds us how to pause, and consider our next best choice whether in the form of action, non-action, or in what we say or do not say.
Feeling
Tags: Acceptance, Feelings, Emotions, Self Acceptance

There are times in life when it is easier to turn a blind eye. When it is easier to register something, something difficult, and then put it to the side. Often this gives us peace, or temporary peace I should say, but in the long run when something still bothers us — still hurts us — we’re running away from our feelings. People don’t realize what this does to us. It feels like everything is okay in the moment, but deep down you’ve collected pain. When we tell ourselves our difficult emotions aren’t worth feeling, we’re telling our brain and our heart that:

We are unworthy of having our feelings awknowledged. Almost like we don’t deserve to feel that way. Our emotions are bad. There is shame and embarrassment here, that we should feel “ashamed” for such feelings and that you should be happy all the time.

Frankly, these are unrealistic expectations for anyone. We should be gentle with ourselves and unfortunately we are not taught this. We are taught to be accepting of others, but never ourselves. And that matters more than anything.

It changes how we show up in the world and who we grow up to be.
Temporarily nuts at Christmas?
By: Kristy Bertenshaw
Tags: Movies, Christmas, Emotions, Change, Personal Development

Christmas is a time when I look forward to rewatching old classic movies,

And seeing which new, cheesy, delightfully tacky movies come out. I don’t even care if they are terrible; I’m excited to see the old, the new, the ugly, the funny, the sad, the classics, the heart-warming, the best of the best.

There is something about this time of year that makes my heart go all smoochy, moochy inside.

But I have to say; it’s not quite the same being overseas—

Being away from my friends, family and loved ones.

Somehow these tales I’ve watched a thousand times before ease my soul, make me lighter and make me feel—

Closer,

Connected,

Loving,

Like I belong,

And like I’m much closer to home than I actually am.

If you find yourself alone,

Or in a weird space this year,

With COVID,

And the world still some-what in crisis mode,

I recommend watching an old classic—or a silly, funny, new, old, ugly, heartwarming Christmas movie—

With the soundtrack up really loud.

One that makes your heart sing.

Then think about the loved ones in your life.

Send them love. Feel it. See it. Hear it. Know it’s there. Know it always has been there. Know you don’t have to be in the same room to feel the feelings and experience the emotions that have always been there; choose to feel them anyway.

Choose to feel close and connected like you were right there with those you would ultimately love to be with, even if it’s not possible.

Then give thanks for being exactly where you are right now.

It’s all part of our path. All of this that’s going on right now.

If we can trade our expectations for appreciation, we might find a hidden gem in whatever life moments we find ourselves in.

And feel surprisingly good anyway.

I’ll leave you with these final thoughts:

Who do you love?

Who loves you?

When did you last tell them?

Will you tell them, right now?

Merry Christmas!
Sometimes Love Isn’t Bringing Out the Best in Each Other
By: Hayley Macdonald
Tags: Emotions, Forgiveness, Relationships, Acceptance, Love

Sometimes true love means bringing out the worst; the darkest moments, the disturbing pasts, your greatest failures and mistakes. The person you love may bring out the best in you, but they should also uncover your darkest secrets, your biggest flaws and at the end of the day, accept it all without remorse.

It is the notion of unconditional love — a love that is a process of awareness and acceptance, of pain and recovery, of truly working together and showing up for each other. Having an endless appreciation for who your partner is at their core regardless of the mistakes they've made or the flaws they have accumulated.

True love is when two people fail to give up on each other. Who recognize each other for who they truly are, the good and the bad, the light and the dark. We all indeed have darkness inside us, but it is which side we choose to act on that makes us who we are. We are all conscious and sentient beings who make mistakes, who act out of pain and fear, who hurt others out of our own darkness. But the more we acknowledge, the more we forgive, the more we inform and respect others and ourselves; we create space for true love. We create a space where light and darkness can coexist in comfort, a space where we do not need to feel ashamed or conceal parts of ourselves.

True love allows others and ourselves to exist in our truest form.

True love is to breathe a sigh of relief.
Colour Matters!
By: Heba Abusedou
Tags: Colors, Presentations, Design, Emotions, Purpose

Design matters in everything and within design, colour matters even more. It is a great way to get someone’s attention or emphasize certain elements. However, with everything that is competing for our attention, it’s very hard to determine the best choices of colour for your presentation content.

While there is no right or wrong, knowing more about colours can significantly improve your design and provoke the right emotions and actions. Many people talked about the emotions associated with certain colours and how powerful it is, that it’s even used in therapy. The most basic understanding of these emotions can go a long way.

You have to use colour with purpose. Using colours without purpose can actually do more damage than you think. Use bright colours, for example, for presentations that are aimed at energizing your audience. It’s very common to use red to emphasize certain elements, however, I think it should be used to indicate danger rather than drawing attention.

A common challenge that most people face is working with their company’s brand because they have to use a certain colour palette for their design. To overcome this challenge, I find it very useful to use neutral colours such as grey. To emphasize, using colours that contrast with your brand is very useful. For example, if your brand’s colour is purple, try using dark yellow or orange to emphasize.

One thing to remember when you’re picking colour for your presentation is that overemphasizing everything, is basically not emphasizing anything. Colour is not always the best way to draw attention to something but it mostly is if you use it with purpose and if you don’t over do it.

Additional Resources

Read more about techniques to use colour in your presentation in this LinkedIn article. Learn more about the colour wheel in this LinkedIn article.

Our pro-tip of the day for you is . . .

Designed by the author via canva.com

Presentations Pro-Tips

We launched our daily presentations pro-tips exclusively this holidays season. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram and Facebook.
Emotional check-in.
By: Paco Chávez
Tags: Energy, Feelings, Meditation, Emotions

Life is a construction of ideas and concepts. There is one going around and it is the idea that health is accepting and perceiving and dealing with reality and realities terms. I´ve always been an angry person, I used to have constant fits of rage throughout the day. ¿How do we find a way to control these situations? If at all possible. By being aware. Be aware of how your body feels, you might have heard of it this, the process of practicing mindfulness and finding the roots of these emotions. Sitting still and watching your breath, observing those thoughts, whatever they may be. Do not try to actively control these thoughts, do not try to transform them into something else. Watch them, with time those thoughts will transform by themselves, with no force needed. When I was younger I was such an angry person. That´s something inside of me that has resurfaced throughout my entire life. Meditation has become such a useful practice for these types of situations. As humans, we have the power to sit with ourselves at any moment in time, during any activity, and observe numerous aspects of ourselves. When we are angry, our body´s temperature spikes, we become heated and our bones and muscles become tense. Our mind projects thoughts and emotions we don´t mean to have, they are just a reflection of what we have been unconsciously bottling up inside. Follow the feeling down into the poisonous root and see where it takes you. Does it bring back memories of something in the past? Usually, when a negative emotion arises we try to move on the something else to dissipate it. What happens if instead of running from it, we muster up the patience to sit with it. Gather up the courage to note and realize why this emotion is surfacing. The next step is to observe this emotion, free of judgment. When we truly know that our thoughts are not ours, that our thoughts come from an external source of consciousness, we then realize that they are merely thoughts. When you choose to give meaning to them is then we start to feel anger, anxiety, and worry. Use this little guide to observe your emotions throughout the day and gather information as to why they might be rising inside of you. As this becomes easier, life starts to feel different. We start to flow with the current and our intuition becomes louder and easier to follow. We then realize life is a gentle river that we can navigate, it doesn´t have to be a tropical storm in the ocean.
Leetcode Algorithms
By: Jen-Li Chen
Tags: Leetcode, Java, Algorithms, Python3

Leetcode Algorithms

905. Sort Array By Parity

Given an array A of non-negative integers, return an array consisting of all the even elements of A , followed by all the odd elements of A .

You may return any answer array that satisfies this condition.

Example 1:

Input: [3,1,2,4]

Output: [2,4,3,1]

The outputs [4,2,3,1], [2,4,1,3], and [4,2,1,3] would also be accepted.

Note:

1 <= A.length <= 5000 0 <= A[i] <= 5000

Solution:

class Solution:

def sortArrayByParity(self, A: List[int]) -> List[int]:

even = []

odd = []

for i in range(len(A)):

if A[i] % 2 == 0:

even.append(A[i])

else:

odd.append(A[i])

return even + odd

Time: O(N)

Space: O(N)

Java Solution in O(N) and O(1):

class Solution {

public int[] sortArrayByParity(int[] A) {

int index = 0;

for (int i = 0; i < A.length; i ++){ if(A[i] % 2 == 0){ // A[i] is the current element int temp = A[index]; // store it so wont overwrite A[index ++] = A[i];



A[i] = temp;

} }

return A; }

};

Reference

Link
Leetcode Algorithms
By: Jen-Li Chen
Tags: Leetcode, Algorithms, Python3

Leetcode Algorithms

26. Remove Duplicates from Sorted Array

Given a sorted array nums, remove the duplicates in-place such that each element appears only once and returns the new length.

Do not allocate extra space for another array, you must do this by modifying the input array in-place with O(1) extra memory.

Clarification:

Confused why the returned value is an integer but your answer is an array?

Note that the input array is passed in by reference, which means a modification to the input array will be known to the caller as well.

Internally you can think of this:

// nums is passed in by reference. (i.e., without making a copy)

int len = removeDuplicates(nums); // any modification to nums in your function would be known by the caller.

// using the length returned by your function, it prints the first len elements.

for (int i = 0; i < len; i++) {

print(nums[i]);

}

Example 1:

Input: nums = [1,1,2]

Output: 2, nums = [1,2]

Explanation: Your function should return length = 2, with the first two elements of nums being 1 and 2 respectively. It doesn't matter what you leave beyond the returned length.

Example 2:

Input: nums = [0,0,1,1,1,2,2,3,3,4]

Output: 5, nums = [0,1,2,3,4]

Explanation: Your function should return length = 5, with the first five elements of nums being modified to 0, 1, 2, 3, and 4 respectively. It doesn't matter what values are set beyond the returned length.

Constraints:

0 <= nums.length <= 3 * 104

-104 <= nums[i] <= 104

nums is sorted in ascending order.

Solution:

class Solution:

def removeDuplicates(self, nums: List[int]) -> int:

N = len(nums)

head = 0

for i in range(N):

if nums[i] != nums[head]: ## means not a duplicate

head += 1

nums[head] = nums[i]

return head + 1

Link