Faith & Friendship: How much influence do your friends have over you?
By: Noor Chaudhry
Tags: Islam, Faith, Friendship, Quran, Religion

For many of us, our friends are a very important part of our lives. A lot of the time our friends are simply a product of our surroundings, through being in similar classes at school or working at the same company. Our choice of friendship is often an unconscious decision based on how well you get on, but we should be more critical when deciding who we consider to be our friends.

The messenger of Allah (ﷺ) told us the effects of our company in the following hadith:

“The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of one who carries perfume and one who works the bellows. With the carrier of perfume, either he will give you some or you will buy some from him, or you will notice a good smell from him; as for the one who works in the bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will notice a bad smell from him.”¹

This clearly shows us that the people we keep around ourselves have an affect on us whether we are conscious of it or not. Therefore, it is important to look at the people we spend our time with. Even more important, is to look at the people we consider close to us. The prophet (ﷺ) said:

“A man follows the religion of his close friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his close friend.”²

It is important to note that the word the prophet (ﷺ) used to mean friend is khaleel (خليل). Khaleel is a friend whom we love and keep close, the one we share our secrets with and go to for advice.

Allah tells us what the effects are of keeping bad friends close to us in the following two verses when it is said in the Quran:

يَا وَيْلَتَىٰ لَيْتَنِي لَمْ أَتَّخِذْ فُلَانًا خَلِيلًا لَّقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي ۗ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنسَانِ خَذُولًا Oh, woe to me! I wish I had not taken that one as a friend. He led me away from the remembrance after it had come to me. And ever is Satan, to man, a deserter.³

It is made clear in this verse that when we keep bad company close, they lead us away from Allah. By contrast, Allah also tells us the effects of being surrounded by good company when He says,

ٱلۡأَخِلَّآءُ يَوۡمَٮِٕذٍ بَعۡضُهُمۡ لِبَعۡضٍ عَدُوٌّ إِلَّا ٱلمُتَّقِينَ Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)⁴

Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Friends on that Day” i.e., the Day of Resurrection “will be foes one to another” i.e., they will be enemies to one another and will curse one another “except Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)” who will be friends in this world and in the Hereafter.⁵

Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “That is, every friendship that was for the sake of anything other than Allah will, on the Day of Resurrection, turn into enmity, except for that which was for the sake of Allah, may He be glorified and exalted; it will last forever.”⁶

Many of us are likely familiar with the story of the people of the cave. The story is from the 18th chapter of the Quran spanning verses 9–22, about a group of youth who woke up in a cave after having slept for 300 years, as a sign to show the people that Allah can indeed raise the dead. In this story, Allah mentions the dog that accompanied them,

وَكَلْبُهُم بَاسِطٌ ذِرَاعَيْهِ بِالْوَصِيدِ And their dog stretched his forelegs at the entrance⁷

My question is the following: why did Allah mention this dog and cause the dog to sleep for the same duration as the people? This question is especially important when, as Muslims, we do not necessarily consider dogs to be clean and pure animals. We can find the answer when looking at the commentary for this verse. The famous scholar of tafsir Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said, “The blessing they (the people of the cave) enjoyed extended to their dog, so the sleep that overtook them overtook him too. This is the benefit of accompanying good people, and so this dog attained fame and stature too.”⁸ This is an amazing example of the benefits of good company. Regardless of our current character, when we are surrounded by those with positive intentions and actions, we will be inclined to follow the same path, and the opposite, regarding bad company, is also true.

We need to reflect and ask ourselves, do we have good company around us?