Major OTT platforms are currently bombarding us with anthology movie set during the lockdown.
By: Siva Chelladurai
Tags: Covid 19, Loneliness, Covid Diaries, Mental Health, Self-awareness

Now that I think about it, 2020 has been an uneventful year for me. My mom would attribute it to the mischiefs of the Sani Bhagavan. But, I would say it’s my belligerence and stupidity that brought down hell upon my life.

Let me take you back to Jan 2020. Almost everyone was glued to their digital screens and feeling sorry for the Chinese. We were pretty sure this corona thing wouldn’t reach Chennai. I even vividly remember watching Elizabeth Moss’s “The Invisible Man” in a packed theater during this time. I continued to avail the services of the local electric train. If you’d ever been to Chennai, you would know how hard it is to entrain and detrain from these boxes swarmed with people. I was least concerned about this pandemic. However, God had other plans.

The very next month things were different, and I was glued to the different data models that depict country-wise stats pertaining to covid cases. My company was one of the few companies, which had predicted the outcome of this disease, and had implemented a WFH plan well in advance. I’m a bachelor with almost zero cooking skills, and I stay alone in my apartment. I could’ve easily packed my bags and moved my ass back to my home town. However, my useless ego directed me to stay and survive this all alone. I have survived two accidents and a cyclone. I was a part of the “Corona is a hoax” club. And just like that, a cased popped up in my street. I was hanging to a thread. The cases in Chennai had started increasing and it was cut-off from the entire state. I was left with no option but to stay in the city. It was indeed a traumatic phase. Our prime minister had also announced a nation-wide lockdown. That’s when the fear finally started creeping in. With my sub-par cooking skills, will I survive this? All I had was a worn-out Kelvinator refrigerator, a mixie well past it’s prime, and an induction stove. What if these appliances stopped working? Will I survive? Food delivery services had closed shop. With no help whatsoever, I wasn’t sure if I can handle it on my own. My SM handles were inundated with people showcasing their culinary skills. Here I was, browsing through youtube to learn how to cook rice. I was freaking out and I had bought supplies for 2 months.

My mom would help me cook via WhatsApp calls. However, at one point in time, food wasn’t a big issue as it once was. My mental health had taken a severe beating. I craved human contact. My weekly quota of human contact involved visiting a nearby Kirana shop to buy provisions for that week. Though I connected with my friends and family over video calls, it didn’t help me much. My work life had taken a hit too. When getting up from bed had become an arduous task, it was hard for me to stay motivated. I started bingeing tv series. Walter White, Saul Goodman, Thomas Shelby, Professor, and Michael Scott kept me sane. Never underestimate the power of good art.

And, the day finally arrived. I finally had the chance to visit my parent’s place, and I took it with both hands. The day I saw those well-rounded white Idlis, I was in tears. I really couldn’t fathom what gave me the strength to endure this all alone. I am glad I had the courage to confront it and come out unscathed. 2020 will always be the year where I found myself again.