How an Online Sex Shop’s Act Restored My Faith in Kindness
By: Rachel Roth
Tags: Sex, Life, Love, Self, Humor

Dayenu**––A refund would have been enough.

So, that was it. Sex shops pride themselves on their nondescript packaging, and I readied myself for the day this discreet package would be delivered to my former partner’s apartment under his very own name⁴.

A Special Sauce of At Home Entertainment

I contemplated warning him pre-doomsday what was coming, but froze with anxiety as the delivery date loomed.

Until, one day, doomsday no longer felt like the apocalypse. Actually, it felt really, really, funny. In fact, it felt like the funniest thing to happen to a former isolated couple in the history of pandemics. This mishap was hilarious.

He would soon open the unknown package to realize his involvement in a fiasco really, really, nonsensical. Confusion would be followed by the dawn of an ineluctable clarity. She ordered this before we broke up. A jitter would shoot his eyes wide, leading to butterflies in his belly, wiggling and rolling their way up to his chest, filling through his throat, and bursting through his mouth a boisterous, raucous laughter.

The imagery of this moment was a revelation, and I was howling. It was my first big belly laugh post-traumatic event, a phenomenon so special it can only be truly understood once it’s happened to you.

I realized this special brand of hilarious post-breakup story would outlast my heartache. A story that’s both funny from my end, and his. An intervention from the universe so complex that not I, but the great divine had set off. A tale that’s too good to interfere with. One that, spiritually, I could not intercept.

So, I said nothing as the package delivered. Days later, neither of us said a word when he returned what remained of my things (socks, my new butt-plugs) to my new isolation spot. When I saw the implicating objects later that day, I chuckled. You know, they’re really quite cute! I’ve been laughing about it ever since.

Nox Shop Saves the Day

It’s a depressing prospect––not that I had lost my sexual partner, that is a mixed bag, but the consciousness that, now single, as the pandemic goes on, my sexual frustration would, too.

Worse was that my sex drive left the party when my former partner did. The last thing I wanted to think about was sex between two people as I now knew not to trust a single one. I felt hurt, betrayed, and so far from sexy.

When a week had passed post-breakup and I hadn’t touched myself, once, I worried I had fallen ill. I had a terrible time sleeping and I didn’t care to eat much if at all.

Then, during one mid-afternoon cry, I received an email from Nox Shop checking up on me. They apologized that the package had already shipped when they contacted their shipping partner, hoped that I was taking some time for self-care, wanted me to treat myself, and offered a generous discount on an item of my choice with which to do so.

To recap: death rates were soaring, the world was falling to pieces, I had recently lost my job, and was just brutally dumped and kicked out.

Just as I thought the world cruel, this small business not only refunded my original item [dayenu], checked in [dayenu], but offered an additional discount on top of all that [dayenu!]

It was a reminder that given the choice, sometimes people will go the extra mile for you, for nothing in return. Nox Shop did just that.

How I got my Libido Back

I unboxed my new Womanizer Liberty (awful name, great product,) that refund and promo-less, I could never afford, with trepidation. I was unsure how or when I would be tempted to use it. It had now been a few weeks sans sexual stimulation, sleep, or terribly much engagement between myself and the lackluster world around me.

It sat, charged and untouched, in my dresser drawer for a few sleepless nights until 3:30 one morning after one too many tosses. I held its sleek lavender casing in my hand, tossed it over a few times, and decided to give it a go.

I mean, wow. The first barrier-breaking orgasm post-traumatic event––that’s a phenomenon so special it’s only truly realized after it’s happened to you.