Oh, This Blows
By: Conny Manero
Tags: Pets, Cats N Things, Cats And Dogs, Cats, Birds

Hi, my name is Holly, and since the human who usually entertains you is a little short on inspiration, I’m gonna tell you a story. Just to be clear, I am a cat. So, whatever comes next is from a cats’ perspective. I thought I should share the following with you because I’m really, really upset.

It’s a beautiful sunny day here in Toronto and I’m not allowed to go out on the balcony. Why? One word … birds.

It all started about two weeks ago. A pair of finches came to check out the balcony and apparently they liked what they saw because soon after they started building a nest. One of them deposited six eggs in the nest and shortly afterward six chicks were born. I didn’t care much about them because I couldn’t get to them anyway, but I could wait.

Those chicks would grow, in due time they would leave their nest and when they did I would be ready. I’ve never caught a bird before, but come on, with six birds to choose from, I was bound to catch one.

As it turned out, I didn’t get any of the little suckers. They flew the nest while I was still sleeping. I didn’t know this at first, but during the course of the day I didn’t see the parents fly in and out anymore, nor did I hear the little ones chirping. I had missed my chance and let me tell you, I was disappointed.

As luck would have it, two or three weeks later the two finches came back. This time they didn’t have to build a nest, they used the old one, and before long there were five eggs in it.

As soon as the chicks hatched I resolved that this time I would catch one. If I had to sit on the balcony day and night, eat and sleep there, this time they wouldn’t pull a fast one on me. So I waited, and waited, and waited.

The parent finches flew to and from, bringing food for the babies, and day by day they grew. Yesterday I noticed that the babies were getting ready to fly off. They were getting too big, the nest was getting too small, and they were getting restless. Yes, soon I would have a bird for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If they weren’t quite a meal, then an appetizer.

And would you believe it, while I used the litter box today, one of those babies flew away. I could have kicked myself. All that time waiting, and now that I had turned my back for two minutes, I missed one. Never mind though, there were four more.

Unfortunately, Conny (my owner), had noticed too that the babies were getting ready to fly off, so what did she do … she closed the balcony door. Not the glass door as such, but the netting. Now I couldn’t get out!!!

I had to do something. I had to come up with a plan. Clever me, I didn’t have to think long, I would turn on the charm. I positioned myself by the balcony door and sat there for, I don’t know, five, ten, fifteen minutes. When she didn’t come to open the door for me, I looked over my shoulder and gave a soft meow. Usually, that does the trick, but not this time. She either ignored me or she wouldn’t let me out. So I meowed a little louder, with more feeling, but still nothing. When I meowed again, she said “No Holly, you can’t go out today. The birds are about to fly away.”

But that’s the whole point, I tried to say. I have to be out there so when they fly I can catch one. She shook her head and walked away. Oh for the love of all that’s good and decent, why was she doing this to me? Oh, this blows!!!