The Addict Mother
By: The Girl
Tags: Motherhood, Drugs, Shelter

Let me start off by saying i have no Idea how to start these things off, Ive never have really done something like this so i have NO clue how this is going to go. I want to write about my story & experiences on how i dealt with my Drug addict mother So, here goes nothing.

HI, I’m Dee. When I was born my mother was in jail, so my grandmother had to take me in Along with my 2 older Brothers that she was raising at the time. I loved living with my grandmother, She was the best grandmother anyone could ever ask for. But Sadly at the age of 5 she had passed away due to her health. Ever since her passing our family just hasn’t been the same. After she had passed My aunt took care of us + My cousin which was her daughter all @ the age of 22, But after a year of doing it alone it got a lot to handle with all the bills. So thats when My brothers & I went with Our mom. At first I loved living with my mother because she was so fun to be around but than it just Got crazy. People was always in our house, there was barely any food to eat My dad was just getting high in the bathroom along with my mother. To sum things up for you from the age 6–9 i had went to 18 different schools & about a dozen shelters & homes, & if i had to be honest i only remember about 3 of those schools.

My older brother had gotten arrested at the age of 15 for god knows what, the story always changes. My 2nd oldest brother had gotten into the drug life with selling just so he can make money for Him & I to eat. As a kid I LOVED school and that was for 1 reason only, It was my escape. It was just depressing being in a house with 2 high parents. Can you imagine what its like for a 6 year old to go home to nothing but an empty fridge & 2 drugged up parents? I used to hide school food in my bag so that when i go home i wont be hungry but than i would feel bad for my parents & Just give them the food. Yes i was That kid who always cared about others than herself & i never really spoke to my aunt about how i actually felt. People just assumed i was okay so i went along with it. I had went to middle school in queens so on some days i would take the school bus and on other days i would actually have to take the train from the bronx to queens. have I mention I was from Bronx, New York? At first my brother would take me which always made him late to school & then it got to a point that he was so behind on school work he never ended up Graduating which sometimes i still think its my fault till this day. So by the age of 7 i was taking the train to school on my own from Bronx to queens & back. If you live in New York you know thats about an hour Train ride depending on the days & times you take the train. As Im writing this Both of my Brothers are in prison for the same reason: Drugs.

Its hard coming from a family like that. As a kid i would go to my friends house & i would be so jealous that they got this big family who loves them. As i got older My mother only got worst it got to a point where she didn’t care who saw her get high she would Just do it in your face. Both my Mom & Dad went from hiding in the Bathroom to just sniffing coke on the Kitchen Table like it was a normal thing to do. Any Little money I would get they would always take it to just buy more drugs. At this time i was actually depress & NO ONE knew, Nobody never even bother to ask if i was okay? I never had anything nice if i did within a month of having it my mom would sell it just for money to buy some more drugs. There was this one year on Halloween where she PROMISED me she would take me trick or treating, So that night i put on my little costume & went out to show her, guess what i walked into.. My mom & dad sniffing up drugs on the Table. I was so mad that i didn’t care because i wanted to go trick or treating so I Forced her outside with me & I got my candies. Yes she got a lot of stares but i didn’t care because she promised me. I sometimes wonder, why did my mother have kids. She knew she was unstable & not fit, but than yet she still thought it was a great idea to not only have 1 child but to have 4 Children. After me she decided to have another kid. My little brother, he was lucky enough for my aunt who lived in Florida to take him. He had one of the best lives compare to the rest of us left behind with our mother.

I remember I had this friend, Lets call her Brianna. We had plans one day for her to come over to my house & play. She lived in the same building as me. if you know anything about shelters, No outsiders were ever allow even tho we would sneak in my cousin sometimes. Anyway I always knew when my mom was high she would have these weird big eyes like an owl & cough literally every second & walk up and down so when my friend was over my mom had come out the room high & my friends asked “Whats wrong with your mom?” do you know how embarrassing that was for me. especially for an 7–8 year old i made up some lie & said I wasn't feeling well so she would leave. I cried the whole night asking god why did he place me with a mother like her.

I’ve had people tell me I should go to therapy but to be honest, I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of talking to a stranger about my feelings. Most people say they talk to someone to not feel judge but if you really look at it. No, they may not be judging you from the outside but on the inside they are. the difference between a therapist and a family member is that family members say the truth & say it to your face & most people don’t like the truth therefore they pay someone to listen to them without telling them what they need to hear. A lot of people may disagree with me, & that’s fine thats just my take on it.

I hope this Very Short Story gave some what of a glimpse on whats is like to have a Drug addict Mother. I have Way more to say, Maybe a part 2? Sure why Comment on if you would like to hear more. Pretty sure No one would care but i just wanted some parts of my story to Seen. Thanks for reading if your made it this far.