Perfect Dilemma: Motherhood &working life
By: Neval Reisoglu
Tags: Working Moms, Support, Sisterhood, Motherhood Journey, Motherhood

To my male colleagues and friends, in this article, you may not find common feelings with me because I want a private chat with my sisters around the world about motherhood.

I gave birth to my baby boy when I was 35. It seems an old age when looking at the averages. After having a child my whole world got changed. I can split my life like before and after being a mother. Before becoming a mother, I was super free, earning my own money, and from time to time lived in other countries. I was only responsible for myself even I was married. I had hobbies, dancing, riding a bicycle. And one day, I became a mother…

Being a mother and take another person’s responsibility is so hard. You are looking at life from a very different perspective. Now you have empathy for the other mothers, your body is full of compassion for all of the children. The most amazing part is you feel like your love is enough for everyone.

When I was pregnant, I was so sure that I will go back to work 3 months after giving birth to my son. I was planning to have business trips again like old days, to continue my hobbies… Suddenly I found a baby in my arms, completely dependent on me even not allowing going a bath. The world was destroyed by me. I learned that it was a postpartum period for the ladies which like a nightmare. At that time, I understood that my life will never be the same. All plans need to be changed, now I knew that I couldn’t go back to work after 3 months at all.

After this, I found myself in a perfect dilemma; my working life was always my first priority but my baby reminded me every night that for a while he should be my first priority. He was so restless at night since I started to work. I took this decision because I thought that since we are working from home, I will spend time with my baby at the same time. But the reality wasn’t like that. It was so hard to take care of my son and attending meetings. My body started to give me signals, my health was going bad day by day. At that time I understood, there was another one needed to take care of.. it was me.

The bells were ringing for me to take urgent actions. I understood that I should be the first priority in my life. Because if I’m not well, nothing will be well either. But this was a very new thing for me; at any time of my life, I wasn’t first priority. I realized that I have started to discover life again with my baby.

I had to keep myself good that’s why I need to decide whether to keep working or just give a break and heal myself. I chose the second option. But this selection contains much fear -will my current position remain? Can we afford our needs during this period? And many others… But despite these kinds of concerns, the feeling of freedom to decide for me was amazing. So I took a break for a while for my baby and for me.

I know that there are many women to have the same situations and concerns in their life, I just wanted to share my experiences, feelings. I would like to hear from you because this time, I need your stories and support to heal myself.

Thank you…