I Co-Sleep With My Baby. Here’s Why You Should, Too!
Tags: Baby Sleep, Co Sleeping, Baby, Parenting

I have the most beautiful 18-month-old boy named Jakub. He’s the absolute love of my life. And soon, his brother will be joining us.

When Jakub was born, we put bassinets all over the house. We wound up with three of them, all gifted from friends and family, and we were thrilled because it meant we could have one beside our bed, in the basement, and in the spare room downstairs (we sleep there on occasion if it’s too warm upstairs).

Upon Jakub’s birth, we discovered that this little boy hates bassinets. While in the hospital, after more than 13 hours of active labor, I and my husband were exhausted, and my son was stressed about this sudden exposure to the real world (to make matters worse, the doctors induced my labor; he didn’t want to leave the comfort of my womb just yet).

At this time we were just learning, together, how to breastfeed. Once he finally figured it out, his little eyes fluttered shut and he knocked right out. He was in the nook of my arm, and I was lying on my side, with my arms wrapped safely around his little body, cradling him. Next thing I knew, we were asleep.

And this is exactly what the next six months of his life looked like.

What is co-sleeping?

There is a common misconception I’ve noticed about co-sleeping. Many people wrongly believe that to co-sleep means to share a bed with your child. In fact, the term “co-sleep” is defined as “the practice of sleeping in the same bed or close by in the same room with one’s child” by Merriam-Webster.

This includes having a bassinet or other type of low-lying infants’ cot in the room near the parents, or explicitly bed-sharing. In my household, we bed-shared, and we loved it. It improved our quality of sleep (both parents and baby).

Not only did our quality of sleep improve, but so did our peace of mind. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up suddenly in my sleep, after my son started sleeping in his own room, and panicked, thinking he’d fallen off the bed (when in reality, he was safely tucked away in his crib).

How to co-sleep safely

If you would like to bed-share with your newborn, there are some guidelines you should follow.

For starters, ensure both you and your spouse are completely sober. Smoking, drinking and drug use can inhibit one’s ability to rouse easily from sleep. This can drastically increase the chances of accidentally smothering your child.

Another important tip is to make sure your child is always placed on his back to sleep and never his stomach. This is especially true if he’s sleeping in a separate bed or under covers. If you do put a blanket over your child, ensure that it does not cover his face and that it is a thin, breathable blanket. Smothering by blanket or duvet is another very common cause of death among infants less than three months old.

It is also vitally important that you do not allow your older children to co-sleep with their infant sibling(s). While it is very cute and a nice way to bond for them, it can also be very dangerous! The only people who should share a bed with an infant should be that child’s primary caregiver(s) or the adult responsible.

Finally, this tip goes out to all parents who are severely overweight and/or obese. Many obese individuals have reduced sensitivity on certain parts of their bodies, thus increasing the risk of them smothering their child as they sleep. Please be careful and mindful of your bodies if you decide to co-sleep! In this instance, the safer alternative would perhaps be to have a cot or a bassinet beside your bed.

Benefits to co-sleeping

The list is extensive but allow me to point out the best ones:

Most breastfed babies fall asleep while feeding. An infant who shares the bed (or sleeps within arm’s reach) with mom will be unlikely to wake immediately post-feed, by being placed in his own bed or on a separate surface.

Co-sleep (specifically when practiced in the same bed) encourages breastfeeding! Whenever my son woke up for his late-night feeds, he didn’t even need to open his eyes; he merely had to move his lips around until he found my nipple, then dozed peacefully back off to sleep.

All involved parties sleep better (usually). As I mentioned, my son barely roused from his sleep to feed. If he didn’t wake, neither did I, and neither did my husband.

There is a significant decrease in stress levels, for parents as much as baby. Newborns experience a lot of stress in their first months of life; they spent the first nine months of their existence in the womb, eating out of a tube, listening to mom’s heartbeat. Suddenly being exposed to this sensory world is immensely stressful. Being close to mom will make him feel more comfortable and secure, and it’ll allow mom (and dad) to be comforted as well, knowing their child is safe. According to a study conducted in South Africa, infants who slept apart from their mothers (rather than skin-to-skin) experienced an increased heart rate, suggesting they were more stressed.

Bed-sharing (especially when coupled with breastfeeding or the use of a pacifier) reduces the risk of SIDS. For a list of recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS, check out How to Help Prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). According to WebMD, having your newborn sleep in a separate room increases the chance of SIDS by tenfold.

Conclusion

In summary, I’m totes for bed-sharing or co-sleeping in general. My experience with it was phenomenal. I felt immensely better rested than when he slept apart from me (which was only on rare occurrences) and I felt less stressed throughout the night. My son was happier, my husband slept better through the night…

I would also just like to mention that in our experience, we found that we were more comfortable and felt safer if our infant son slept in between the two of us, reducing the chances of him rolling off the side of the bed. When my husband left for work in the mornings, he replaced his presence with a large, heavy body pillow for protection.

I hope this helps you make your decision about co-sleeping! For a list of some of the risks, you can check out Raising Children’s page on co-sleeping with newborns.