Sisterhood of the Cheating Pants
By: Naina Dewan
Tags: Sisterhood, Boyfriend, Love Letters, Love, Cheating

“Cheat on a good woman and karma makes sure you end up with the bitch you deserve.”

5 years. A Marriage Proposal & An Affair Later, He still sleeps at night.

Now this unfolded in a way I didn’t expect. Our relationship of 5 freaking years became an epitome of love and #relationshipgoals for people all around us. He had everyone fooled at how he was the “ideal man” — respectful (of women’s vaginas, yes), down to earth (scum of the earth, maybe), cultured (a cultured seasoned cheat, oh yeah). Untill…he cheated. He had been sleeping with another girl for 6 months, almost started to live with her, tightlipped and still leading me on to say how badly he wanted to marry me, hold me and be with me. I had never loved anything or anyone as much as I loved him, he seemed almost “too good to be true”. Quick note to self? — I think when its getting too unreal, do pinch yourself and check before you get blinded to his flaws & hidden claws, I know I did.

Now I’m not going to rant about how he did it or how broken I was when I “found out” — instead I am going to write about that ONE thing that pulled me out of my emotional distress, of the numbness that had begun to set into my being. That one thing was SISTERHOOD.

Stay with me.

Ill tell you how sacred, sometimes unspoken this is.

““We’re connected, as women. It’s like a spiderweb. If one part of that web vibrates, if there’s trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we’re just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don’t help each other, who will?” ― Sarah Addison Allen

It was 10am on a Sunday morning when I got an Instagram Direct Message request — a message that said “Im so sorry to tell you this but Your boyfriend isn’t being loyal. please confront him”. I was taken aback but I shrugingly dismissed it thinking it to be an obvious spam. She wrote in again. This time I started to worry and asked her for evidence. We spoke on a video call and she gave me a tonne of proof and hard core details of this girl who’d slip in at night and how they’d bring it on, the noises in the shower. All of it. Living in this world of increasing mistrust and ulterior motives, I asked her one question — why did you take the pains of finding me and telling me all this? What was in it for you?” I asked her puzzled and almost suspicious.

She said one thing — “I have been cheated on and I know how it feels. I just wish someone had told me in good time.” I wept for hours with the piercing hurt that this news had caused me but I was stunned at how she took the pains to find me and tell me this truth, as a woman looking out for another woman. In that moment I felt love, a pure kind of love which wasnt seeking anything in return. The love of a sister. She messaged me many times over the next few weeks just to check in on how I was doing and guess what? We’re great friends today — sisters across borders. I introduced her to a life philosophy I practice and we talk often about love, life and coming into our own. If she reads this I’d like to tell her — Thank you for having the courage to create this sisterhood, for sticking up for a complete stranger when you didnt need to. Thank you for being.

Okay, who’s up next! It was my 3 best girlfriends in the whole wide world — one of which is my twin sister. (no, really). We cried together, abused him out loud and then the best part, booked a staycation and watched Sex and the City for hours. Remember that scene when Big ditched Carrie Bradshaw at the big fat wedding?And she beat him up with roses and Charlotte gave him the stink eye of the century? I looked at these 3 angels around me, they had tears in their eyes from the shock of how he’d hurt me but a silent strength of wanting to fight back. Divi paused it and said “Hey this is your chance’’ Call the fucker and tell him off — get the poison out of your system”. And so I did, as they stood by me, holding my hand. I screamed, I cried, I wept and again screamed at him as we spoke on the phone. They counselled me, they told me where I was strong, what I had to look forward to and most of all made me feel loved when I needed it most. I rose like a Phoenix from the ashes, like I was born again thanks to the beautiful women in my life. This isn't friendship, its sisterhood. Its unspoken, It goes beyond just our body form, it goes straight to the soul — it’s that soul connection which only women can build and create with the love that resides in them, that they’re gifted with.

So girls, Tits up. No more crying over guys. No more weeping about not being good enough. No more filling the void with weak spirited men who don’t deserve us. Find and create your own divine sisterhood. It’s the most sacred love you’ll ever find.

P.S — Hey wait, Let’s retake.

5 years. A Marriage Proposal & An Affair Later, She soared into the skies of a new future.