Discover What You Never Lost
By: Lance Baker
Tags: Self-awareness, Journey, Happiness, Personal Growth, Growing Up

Photo by Luke Leung on Unsplash

Discover What You Never Lost

It is easy to feel like there is a thing or circumstance “out there” in the world that would make us feel complete if we could just find it. However, as we mature spiritually and become more self-aware we discover that the answer to our longing is not a thing or circumstance out in the world. The answer is something from within. We realize that our manner of seeing the world can transform any thing or circumstance into a beautiful gift. The response to that gift is overwhelming gratitude.

Imagine a life where every thing and circumstance instills gratitude into the marrow of your bones. It sounds magical, doesn’t it?

Like all magical tales, however, there is a strange twist. This maturity usually comes as a result of going out on the journey and seeking those external things. The journey itself reveals that there is no actual destination and one must return home again. But after such a journey, we are no longer the same as when we left. We are able to see ourselves, and our place in the world, differently.

In other words, we already have everything we need to live with purpose and meaning. However, we are typically incapable of realizing it until we go on a journey of discovery and look back with epiphany eyes. The journey of discovery is what gives us the ability to see what we had all along.

So skip the journey?

Not at all! The truth of the journey is not something that cannot be taught. It must be experienced. We need to experience the breakdown of our expectation that something out in the world can fulfill us and make us happy. (Our spiritual directors, therapists, and life coaches will be ready for us when it all comes crashing down.) The failure of seeking meaning outside of ourselves cracks open our ability to find depth and meaning in all things and all circumstances.

From there, we can start to accept that we may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our experience of our circumstances. We’ve all seen happy people in miserable circumstances and marvelous circumstances with miserable people. The happiest people in the world are able to transform ordinary circumstances into extraordinary ones (consciously or not). They understand that the sacred is not a thing or place, but a dimension of depth in all things and all places.

I think so many people (including myself) are cynical today because they haven’t come to grips with the reality that external things and circumstances are going to completely fail them when it comes to living a meaningful life. When our whole being is tied up in some elusive endgame, the ends justify the means. All our energy is focused on getting what we want because we are convinced having it will finally make us happy. This leaves nothing left for the present moment. This is problematic given that our lives are nothing but a series of present moments.

We can’t notice the smell of the fall air, the colors of the trees, or the subtle cues of those around us when we are mentally and emotionally somewhere in the future. If we don’t notice those things, how can we appreciate their depth? If we cannot appreciate their depth, how can we live with gratitude for them? If we cannot live with gratitude in any given moment, how can we be happy?

The connection between the journey and coming home again is a strange one, but it is a powerful ritual if we pay close attention to it.

For a fictional version of this idea, check out: A Duck and the Bend in the River — A Parable