Obliterate Your Uncertainty and Fear With These 6 Quotes
By: Megan Boley
Tags: Life Lessons, Life, Relationships, Love, Self

Moving far away from my family is something I have always both wanted and feared. It’s not the “being away from my family” part that I want — it’s just that the places I want to live, they happen to be on the opposite side of the planet from where my family lives.

I have always wanted to live in these faraway places, but the fear of the unknown and the uncertainty have always held me back. Until recently. I decided that I want to officially commit myself to moving to Hawaii. I’d always thought it was impossible — until I actually looked into it.

I did the research and mapped out everything it would entail, and it’s actually not as hard or unachievable as I thought. It’ll be difficult and challenging, sure, but it’s well within my means and abilities.

I armed myself with information, and now the prospect of moving to the middle of the Pacific Ocean is less daunting and fearsome than before — because I have a plan, and I have a wealth of information to support my decisions.

“A pattern is a pattern and only a fool ignores one because he does not care for the implications.”

This quote comes from Long John Silver of the Starz show “Black Sails.” I think of this one most often in fishy dating situations.

A lot of times, dating starts off in ambiguous waters. You’re feeling each other out, you’re not sure yet if you’re committed or exclusive, or officially in a relationship. There can be a lot of dancing around and playing games.

One guy I dated — I really, really liked him — had established this pattern of only seeing me late at night on weekends, after he’d already been out drinking and having fun with his friends.

I told myself it was because he was in the military, and during the week he didn’t have time to see me or his friends, so the weekends were his only chance to do both. I told myself that even though he went out with his friends and never invited me, it was okay because I was the one he came home to.

It took him ghosting me on our date for New Year’s Eve for me to finally see the truth: he just really wasn’t that into me.

His behavior for months had established a pattern that made that fact very clear — but I always rationalized it away and made excuses, because I didn’t want to see the obvious truth staring me in the face.

I was afraid to face that truth, because by admitting I let this guy fool me for months also meant that I had to admit I’d wasted months of my time on a guy who never cared about me, and who made it perfectly clear.

If you see a pattern, study it, pay attention to it, and listen to its implications. Patterns are patterns for a reason. Don’t rationalize it away.

“When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. It means that the most obvious answer is usually right.”

This is another quote from “Grey’s Anatomy,” said by Meredith Grey. This quote helps me to hold onto and focus on the truth based on the facts that are in front of me. It keeps me from jumping to outlandish conclusions and fearing the worst.

A guy I had been dating for a while suddenly started acting skittish on me. He’d done it before, months previously — that time, it had been because he “didn’t know what he wanted” and “wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

We parted ways for a bit, but then found our way back to each other. The second time he started acting skittish, I immediately knew why. The signs had been there for a while that he wasn’t interested in committing to me. I knew I was also the first girl he’d dated after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend of five years.

I heard the hoofbeats, and I looked at the facts in front of me. And the truth was obvious. “He’s still in love with his ex,” I said aloud to myself.

I could have easily explained it away and blamed his disinterest on work or his busy schedule — but it was obvious. He couldn’t commit to me because he was still in love with someone else.