Too Many Things
Tags: Relationships, Change, Ocd, Electronics, Advertisment

Things were getting out of hand — we needed a new plan.

This started a long discussion between my husband and I a couple of years back. I somehow became a frivolous spender. I let anxiety and uncontrolled compulsiveness get the better of me. I looked around at my purchases and saw that I had duplicates and never used them. I was spending, with no real justification as to why I just did. I began to ruminate over how irresponsible my actions were; then I felt shame.

When I finally decided to address my mental health issues, I took a leave of absence from work without FMLA because the company I worked for, at the time, did not have it as an option. Our income was cut in half once I was no longer a contributor to our cash flow. My massive credit card debt became ‘our’ new situation, and my husband inherited my credit card payments. Before this, our setup was, “My money is my money, and Your money is your money.” We paid all household bills down the middle and disregarded how we handled the rest of our money.

We realized that we were both spending as if we were single.

We vowed to have and to hold each other, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Determined to apply our skills to upholding those vows, we prepared for any unforeseen circumstance. To address my mental health, which was important to us, we decided my income contribution would take a back seat. How could I contribute to the cashflow when I was running on empty?

I began to understand my health conditions and the role my OCD and anxiety played in creating debt. Soon I gained control over my compulsive spending habits, limited myself to a small allowance each month, and began the journey to become debt-free. With my credit card debt gone, I felt compelled to write the following:

Many people have a TV, cell phone, laptop, computer, iPad, and a smartwatch. We all have standard appliances — some top of the line. WE have these THINGS but still feel the need to purchase or constant upgrades. Why is that? Were any of those things broken? Or is it because so and so has it? Do they make us happy?

All the advertisement pop-ups on those THINGS we possess feed our obsession with saying yes when the answer should be no. It is hard to resist always feeling the need to make a purchase when regularly advertised, nagging you to do it, especially when the opportunity is always on our electronic devices.

I remember as a child, I did not get the “new.” I continued to play with what I was given, and when I asked my parents for the new model or popular items, they would often say no. I would be upset but got over it and lived with what I had. I was happy.

As adults, why aren’t we telling ourselves no? We struggle with paying all the bills and live paycheck to paycheck. Will you be prepared for an unforeseen expense or life-changing event with no savings?

All because we won’t tell ourselves no.

I had everything I needed when growing up; my folks made sure of that.

We must put thought into our NEEDS. Do we currently have food, shelter, and a FEW satisfactory possessions? All our childhood needs have not changed just because we’re grown. Why work two or three jobs just to pay for unnecessary things? Why fall into debt for the newest models? Why are we willing to spend more time at work than with our loved ones? Are we indeed never satisfied? Or, are we just acting like spoiled brats instead of grown adults?