Sex is Hilarious
By: Stark Raving
Tags: Sex, Humour, Equality, Love, Relationships

Sex is Hilarious

So what’s wrong with having a giggle in bed?

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Is it me, or are people a bit weird about mixing sex and laughter? Like when something awkward happens, and instead of laughing along with me, my partners often get an extremely awkward look on their face like their honour has been tainted and they would like the mattress to open and swallow them up. Or when I make a joke and they stare at me like I’m the weirdest person they have ever met. I mean, I have had guys literally flip me over to not have to look at my giggling any more. Which definitely dampened my humour.

I don’t really get it — I mean, one of the things I like best about humans is their ability to laugh at everything. It is an incredible proof of resilience, pretty useful when you are a species with no fangs, claws, upper body strength, speed, and the tomfoolery to turn the only planet that can be inhabited within a million light years into a melting time bomb. I mean, we are a ridiculous species, and if we couldn’t laugh at that we would suddenly me the butt of the joke that is this world. Black humour is born in the worst of situations, people come closer by turning their bad feelings into bittersweet laughter. Be it depression or way, humans somehow manage to keep laughing.

And yet we are supposed to not laugh at all at sex, which is ludicrous. When you are having sex, you are supposed to not laugh at all, lest you “kill the mood.” But surely bonding with your partner, whether through laughter or any other means, can only make sex better ? Build intimacy, a sense of complicity? And laughter is sexy — I mean, I can’t be the only one to instantly get horny when someone makes me laugh til I snort (the snort is unfortunate, I’m pretty sure whoever made me laugh rarely gets horny after it). I mean, sex is good, laughter is good, the two together can only be better, right? (People who know me might respond “yes but you eat chocolate with Camembert,” to which I can only say, EXACTLY.)

And the comic potential of sex is so high. Surely the idea of stroking, licking or assembling body parts for the pure purpose of pleasure can be laughed at. And all those little awkward moments Kama Sutra gone wrong, condoms that won’t unroll, queefs (otherwise known as fanny farts), strange plunger sounds, cramps at inconvenient times. We should laugh at shower sex that gets slippy, and car sex that gets cramped, and public place sex that gets … a little too public.

They should bring people together in a shared human experience, but since we are too caught up on sex, they tend to have the opposite effect of putting a wedge between partners, both caught up not in experiencing pleasure, and bringing pleasure to another person, but on keeping face, on performing sex, not living it.

The things we take seriously in bed are really all the wrong things. Looking good. Acting experienced. Keeping up appearances. None of that really matters, but we often put it at the heart of our sexual experience, whereas things which should be taken seriously get forgotten. Like bringing pleasure to each other in an equal way, escaping from harmful societal norms. And checking in on each other to make sure consent remains a continuous, enthusiastic, joyous, YES.