Taking a Break (Part 1)
By: Zachary Styles
Tags: Relaxing, Burnout, Taking A Break, Journal, Time

The same, but different

I think it’s hard to define what we call a “break.” We all have very different perspectives on life and we all value different things within them. And so, I can sit here telling you what I think a great break is, and you could very well turn your nose up at it. Rightly so, I’m only writing from my own perspective, so I can only truly speak for myself. Anything else would be pure here-say.

That being said, I refuse to believe that your life and mine are so far apart that we can’t at least relate to a few things. I can say that with some level of certainty, because if I were wrong then you wouldn’t be reading this right now. So, if you do feel like I’ve gotten this all wrong, then, by all means, you’re more than welcome to smash that unsubscribe button. No hard feelings. If I’m right, though, then maybe there’s something in here for you, and so I welcome you to continue on this journey with me.

This particular mini-series will be short. Ironically, I don’t want you to spend any more time reading this than you feel you have to. Rather, I encourage you to close your device after reading this and do something else. Even with that goal in mind, I have decided to split this idea into two parts, for one simple reason: both parts of this idea, I believe, should be sat with independently and not rushed.

Painting a picture

Allow me to set a scene for you. Here I am, sitting at a high table in my favourite coffee shop (bonus points if you know the one I’m talking about) and the smell of fresh beans are permeating the air around me. I’m in a corner. The windows are shut and there aren’t too many people around me. Bliss, I think. I’ve got my earphones securely plugged and I don’t even have anything playing. They give my brain the illusion of paying attention to something while all they’re really doing is muting the world slightly.

I’m not the only one here. There are people inside the shop and there are people outside the shop. I look inside and practically everyone is on their laptops. No judgement, really, that’s exactly what I’m doing. I look outside and practically everyone is on their phones. No judgement there either. It’s a beautiful day and who wouldn’t want to be taking photographs of everything.

It’s a strange feeling. Watching these people go about their days. Cars are driving past, tree leaves are rustling and people are walking in and out every few minutes. Music is playing and bean grinders are grinding. By most accounts, this is a normal day. But, I can’t help but think about how even as people are here supposedly “decompressing” and relaxing at the end of their workdays, they are still busy. I lump myself here as well; after all, here I am writing to you. But even when we’re relaxing we’re busy with something. We’re busy catching up with friends on Instagram or we’re busy reading or watching shows on Netflix. We’re still busy even when we think we’re not.

This is why I think taking a break means different things to different people. I look outside at those people on their phones and wonder what they’re doing, curiously. How are they spending this time? Is it relaxing for them? It might very well be, but for me, the idea of spending any more time in front of a device right now starts to make me feel nauseous.

Reflection

This year has been so chock full of events, from exciting new adventures to political and economic turmoil. It’s been a busy year. It’s not over yet, but I think now’s a good time to start reflecting on it and figuring out how the hell we want the next to go. We might not have much control over that, but we can allow ourselves the chance to approach it with freshness and an energised mindset. That’s where breaks come in.

But with a year like this, how on earth do you take a break? How do you take time away from a job that is struggling to climb its way out of a recession? How do you take time to decompress with your family when you’ve experienced practically the entire year with them? And how on earth can you even think about relaxing during a time like this, the most diluted festive season we’re likely to see for a long time? I have no idea. Not a clue. But — and this is a very big but — we have to. If we don’t we carry all our personal problems into a year with no end in sight. We sit and we complain and we burn out because we didn’t make time for ourselves. It’s not selfish to want to take care of yourself, and in fact, more people should be doing it. So what do you do? You have to prepare for it.

Prepare for nothing, and you’ll have everything you need

Ah geez, Zach, I must now also prepare things to do to relax? No, not at all, fellow ghost reader who asked that astute question. Instead, I think we should prepare for something else: absolutely nothing. Only with clarity can we know where to make our next moves, and clarity requires space. Space away from the hustle and bustle, whatever that means or looks like to you. No one should advocate for dropping things or responsibilities, though, because then you’re dropping people who are relying on you for one thing or another. Rather we should plan to take time away from where our attention usually is in order to decide for ourselves how we want to relax. Maybe that’s reading a book or going to visit the city garden or both.

And maybe, just maybe, you don’t even know what that looks like to you because you’ve never tried it. To be honest, this year hasn’t given us many opportunities to take time for ourselves to do nothing, so I don’t blame you if this hits home.

I’m not saying you should necessarily be doing absolutely nothing with your free time unless that is exactly what you need, but rather we should be making time to do nothing so we can decide in that moment what we really want to do. Sean McCabe talks extensively about this in his writing and podcasts on Sabbaticals, which I would suggest you visit if this is something you struggle with.

The basic idea is this: plan to do nothing so you can decide then and there what you really want to do. And I mean really want to do, not what you think you wanted to do an arbitrary number of weeks or months prior (or what you friends or partner say you should do). Take time for yourself, because if you don’t then you’ll always belong to time and not the other way around.

So, here’s a challenge for you. Take some time to think about how you can step away from what’s draining you right now. Don’t drop it, because then you’ll be letting people down who put their faith in you. Don’t do that. Rather, find a way to step away respectably and then do what you need to do to make it happen.

You don’t need to know what you’re going to do with that time, that’s not the point. The point is to give yourself time to use it however you want during that time. Simple? Not quite. Beneficial? Without question. We don’t take time, we make it. Try that and see what happens. Until Part 2, have a great week and I’ll see you then.