Ayahuasca –“Vine of the Souls”
By: Gillian Menichino
Tags: Ayahuasca, Self Development, Plant Medicine, Psychedelics, Life Lessons

Adam Martinakis

Traditional Medicine

Traditional medicine, also known as indigenous or folk medicine, comprises medical aspects of traditional knowledge that developed over generations within various societies before the era of modern medicine. The World Health Organization (WHO) defines traditional medicine as “the sum total of the knowledge, skills, and practices based on the theories, beliefs, and experiences indigenous to different cultures, whether explicable or not, used in the maintenance of health as well as in the prevention, diagnosis, improvement or treatment of physical and mental illness”.

Ayahuasca (Banisteriopsis Caapi)

Chris Kilham, medicine hunter, author and educator and founder of Medicine Hunter Inc. so very clearly states:

Ayahuasca is a psychoactive potion indigenous to the Amazon Rainforest, and the only combinatory vision-inducing agent in the world. Made from the vine Banisteriopsis caapi (often called caapi) and the leaf Psychotria viridis, (known as chakruna) Ayahuasca is both a portal to the spirit world, and an enigma that has baffled scientists and anthropologists for centuries.

Ayahuasca is a Quechua term meaning “vine of the souls”. It is an entheogenic brew made out of Banisteriopsis caapi vine and other ingredients. Ayahuasca induces a very unique type of experience aimed at spiritual development, healing and growth. It is believed that the consumption of this “teacher” or “wisdom” plant “constitutes the gateway to the spiritual world and its secrets.

The active substances of the ingredients are dimethyltryptamine (DMT, an endogenous substance and the most potent vision-inducing agent known) and monoamine oxidase enzyme inhibitors (MAO inhibitors).

When using Ayahuasca your state of consciousness will change, which results in a very clear inner perception. You will get access to deep layers of your consciousness, which makes it possible to reflect on yourself in a very intense way, and on your life so far. This goes deeper than normal therapy, because things you were not aware of, or of which you could not be aware, can be revealed during your journey. That what you regarded as truth, can suddenly appear to be very different. Ayahuasca will make you conscious about who you really are. (Om-Mij — https://www.om-mij.nl/en/ayahuasca/)

Uses

The brew is used as a traditional spiritual medicine in ceremonies among the indigenous peoples of the Amazon basin. For thousands of years, Ayahuasca has been used medicinally for the body and mind by these natives. It has a strong purifying, healing and visionary effect. People often refer to Ayahuasca as ‘mother Ayahuasca’ because many experience the energy of the medicine as a loving, female energy. Ayahuasca has become very popular and well-known in the last decade. The drink has been used by therapists and shamans in their work, with astounding results.

An extract from a visitor’s book in the jungle at ‘Another Planet Peru’(owned and run by Lesley Myburgh, a well-established medicine woman. She is frequently referred to in the Andes as “La Gringa”. For the last 20 years, Lesley has guided thousands of travellers and explorers worldwide using a variety of different healing techniques) states:

Love the jungle, and it will love you back in abundance, teach you its secrets and relieve you of your excess baggage. Drink the jungle, and the vine will cleanse you, lead you through the other world and take you to a deeper here when you come back from there.

People who have consumed Ayahuasca report having mystical and spiritual revelations regarding deep personal insight. This plant is also known as ‘the vine of death’ as many express themselves as having gone through a kind of spiritual awakening process and what is often described as death and rebirth. Profound and positive life changes have also been reported subsequent to consuming Ayahuasca.

Preparation

Ayahuasca is made by pounding down the vine to remove the outer bark and to soften up the fibers of the vine. Then the content is placed into a large pot together with a large quantity of psychotria viridis (chakruna) leaves. Another layer of the pounded vine is then added and again another layer of leaves. When the pot is full, water is added. Then mixture is then cooked for several hours and over time the liquid in the pot begins to evaporate. After several hours, the Ayahuasca is finished and the vine leaves are filtered out through a strainer. The viscous fluid that remains is “La Medicina”.

(Chris Kilburn — The Medicine Hunter)

Before the Retreat

I had been exploring my interests in Ayahuasca and shamanism for just over a couple of years now. I spoke to people who have experienced this medicine and different healing plants like it. I read articles and watched documentaries as well before booking my first, and so far only, healing retreat in Peru in the middle of the jungle just outside Iquitos. The more I discovered, the more curious I became and I then had to experience it for myself. I came with a mission and I was determined to break through to myself. I brought along some pretty heavy intentions all to do with growth, healing and self-discovery.

A few weeks prior to setting off for the retreat, I had been cleansing my body and mind. I was doing Qi Gong and light meditation for the mind, body and spirit. I kept to a very strict vegan diet and consumed mostly raw food. I cut down on salt. I cut out sugar entirely and slowly weaned off of coffee and any caffeine, which for me was a seriously devastating process! Not having coffee in the mornings was just unthinkable! Well, I succeeded anyway, because I had to. I was so completely determined to follow through with my intentions and to stay committed to the healing process. I have to admit though, I was already feeling a sense of freedom minus the caffeine addiction and after having adjusted to the diet. My skin was glowing, I’d lost some weight and my cravings were gone. My mind was freer and I felt lighter.

The Retreat

The highlights of this twelve day retreat consisted of six Ayahuasca ceremonies, one San Pedro ceremony, a cleansing vapor bath with guided meditation, a series of medicinal plant baths to cleanse and strengthen our energy bodies and individual healings by the shaman. I actually opted for an extra San Pedro experience in place of an Ayahuasca ceremony. You can read about my experience with San Pedro here.

On the mornings following Ayahuasca ceremonies, circle meetings were held where we were able to discuss and share our experiences and insights with the shaman and the healer. Being able to talk with the healer and the shaman and asking questions allowed me to gain a much deeper insight into my journey. During these meetings I learned more about how Ayahuasca works. Everyone’s journey was and is so different. A variety of explanations and teachings were offered in response to what others in the group had to share. Through other people’s stories I was able to clearly see the incredible variety of ways in how Ayahuasca can work.

During the retreat, I found myself with so much time alone to reflect and integrate our work with Ayahuasca. We were encouraged to put away and refrain from using any electronic devices. Not only was I on a very strict dietary regime and somewhat of a fast, I was on a technology fast as well. At first it felt so awkward, coming from a 24-hour society where we rely heavily on means of technology to work, communicate, to function and to pretty much do anything and everything, including pass the time. The combination of the strict, cleansing dietary regime and putting aside the technology, and my normal everyday life along with it, had such a profound impact on my healing process.

The Time Between Ceremonies

I was finally quieting myself on the inside. I was deeply present to my every thought, both the positive and negative. I was facing my fears, concerns and regrets with no distractions, no escapes. I remembered my dreams as well and the pieces and pleasures of life that I was so grateful for. I gradually became more attuned to the inner aspects of myself and even some of the more subtle aspects of the world around me.

Life has a way of piling up and overwhelming us. At times, we might lose track of ourselves amidst the whirlwinds of our existence, weathering rough climates. Add in a couple of tornadoes to that and I think I’ve set a scene we are all probably quite familiar with.

During this period, I noticed quickly how time slowed down significantly as my normal pace of life came to a grinding halt in the heart of the Amazon. It’s amazing how it can be so easily manipulated if we just stop trying to pass on every spare moment of our daily lives, tending to every addiction and every impulse. The stillness and the quiet amplified my inner voices, those that over time have faded and become silenced. The first night of my journey with Ayahuasca intensely magnified my inner world.

My Revelations

This master plant has done work with me on so many levels physically, emotionally and mentally. I will share with you the experience of my very first night with Ayahuasca, the most profound and enlightening of my ceremonies. The lessons and messages that came to me during this time still remain very much alive in me today.

At 6:45 pm, I took my place on a comfortable mattress inside the maloka and began to quiet my mind and bring forth my intentions for the evening. It was dark and the room was dimly lit by two small candles. I could see the shaman sitting up at the front smoking his tobacco and preparing the drink.

I really had no idea what to expect at this point despite having been somewhat briefed on the infinite possibilities of what might and might not happen at all. On a positive note, the healer did assure us all that no matter what we are going through, we aren’t going to die. Hmmmm, well, I thought that was genuinely reassuring! I definitely wasn’t prepared for the moments in this experience where I would actually want to die. The fear of not knowing at all what was going to happen, and not knowing the state I was going to be in when the medicine was finished with me, terrified me. I became more and more anxious with every passing second leading up to the start of the ceremony.

It was 7:00 pm when we finally commenced. The shaman came round to each person in the group, blessed us and blew tobacco smoke over our heads. When the shaman finished, the drinks were served. When I stood up and walked over to the front of the room, I whispered my intentions to myself. I sat down in front of the healer and asked for a medium sized dose which looked to me to be about less than half a tea cup. I held my breath and swallowed it in one big gulp. I gagged and nearly regurgitated it as it tasted like old, thick tobacco flavored wine! Wow, it was pungent! The taste alone put me in a unique state of shock!

When the shaman finished serving everyone, he then took a dose of the Ayahuasca. We all sat silently for about five minutes before the shaman began singing and chanting prayers. I waited patiently for about 45 minutes to an hour before the option of having a second dose of the medicine was offered. I got up and took it. Just when I thought nothing was happening, I stood up to walk across the room and paused right in the middle. The alter in front of me, where the shaman and the healer were sitting, suddenly appeared to triple in size. “Wow, this can’t be happening! Right! Here we go,” I thought. It has begun. I gradually continued moving forward and sat in front of the healer to take my second dose. He asked me, “are you sure?” and to which I responded yes.

I went back to take my seat where a short time passed before the medicine finally began to take effect. I saw bright, lively colors and patterns of snake-like shapes slowly and gently slithering across my field of vision. They seemed to be appearing and disappearing inside and outside of each other. My whole visual was a cleverly crafted masterpiece of animation. I got a very deep sense of how the whole world and everything in it was entirely interconnected, in deep service to itself and to the greater whole that is the universe. Nothing is in isolation. Somehow, in these moments, my mind was consumed with this concept.

Soon the experience shifted from the mesmerizing and colorful pleasantry to a clean visual of multiple identities, which I felt to be mine on some level, getting stripped away. They were effortlessly slipping away and out of my sight, one after the other after the other. I didn’t seem to mind at all. I understood in this moment that somehow, this quick and painless process was really necessary. It wasn’t long before Ayahuasca then literally plunged deep within what felt like the epicenter of my entire being, burrowing herself within the darkest cavities of my subconscious. The real work was just beginning. That night, I embarked on the fiercest conquest between me and the most destructive facets of my inner psychology.

I was to live through a series of stressful, tormenting events as Ayahuasca forced me into what was literally like a cycle of pop-up shows at a circus that was set to repeat itself for what felt like an eternity. This relentless experience grew louder and louder as it became increasingly more obnoxious. Time stood still and there seemed to be no end to what very quickly escalated to sheer, otherworldly madness. I could almost hear a voice, telling me over and over again –“ Stop resisting!” “Again!”” You keep doing this! Stop! Stop fighting!” “Again! Again! Again!” I felt I was being harshly penalized, and for what? I did not know until the experience continued to unravel. My early visuals seemed like distant memories now.

Each event or ‘pop-up show’ consisted of images taken from my life, past and present. They occurred in the form of day-to-day concerns, things I feared to extents I thought were only minor. These were much needed confrontations, unhealthy and unproductive habits I knew had to change, facing change in general, financial dilemmas and concerns and complications in my current relationships. All of which required me to take action immediately. The stress building up inside of me was gaining momentum. The medicine immensely magnified what I was feeling in my day-to-day life and condensed it, forcing me to face this all consuming drama in its entirety. Eventually I was confronted with the true severity of these matters . The more I resisted the exposures and resisted being absolutely present to them, the greater the pain. I felt it all over expanding from the inside and out. I was terrified and there was no relief. As far as I was concerned, I thought I was going to die and at a certain point I even wanted to die.

Adam Martinakis

All I could focus on at first was the pain of this experience. I just wanted it to go away. I hadn’t yet begun to consider the knowledge it was passing on. All of my feelings and emotions were magnified. My own aversion to this experience imprisoned me. I was screaming, I was yelling and my body was contracting. I was purging violently, dry heaving, coughing and vomiting! I was lost in the torture of the relentless experience. I was worried for my body as it suffered greatly, but even more so, my inner conscious mind. Regardless, I had to stay focused as the healing was only beginning. All the properties of the medicine conspired with my energy to execute what I understood as a ‘grand-slam’ breakthrough. This moment was followed with the understanding that PAIN is the threshold of maximum growth and expansion.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. (Kalil Gibran, ‘The Prophet’)

I came to the understanding that my ‘great’ fears were fears of the UNKNOWN — lack of certainty and total loss of security or stability above all. I am talking about the kind of security I find in friendships, a partner, family, job security, financial security and solid plans and backup plans. The endless pursuit of my version of these were getting in the way of the extension of myself and becoming the truest form of who I really am and thus, interfering with the natural flow of life. When it was time to come out of this, I knew I had to take full responsibility for my approach to living and the fears and destructive habits I was nurturing and moreover, the subconscious attitudes which did not serve me. I had to reassess my beliefs and the stories which I was probably telling myself for years.

Before taking this medicine, I was not acutely aware of the behaviors and thought patterns that were, and perhaps still are, causing so much suffering. I was essentially fighting against my deepest call to growth and expansion. I was exposed to excruciating pain that arose during every moment of my resistance to this experience. The consequences of going against the natural flow of life were suddenly very real to me. I realized that I had no choice but to submit to the power as it overwhelmed me and to surrender to it as it demanded my absolute presence to the revelations.

As the medicine drained me of my life and energy to the point of what felt like near death, any tensions and any resistance I had to the series of arising horrors were relinquished. It was at this point now that I welcomed the situations into my presence and gracefully allowed them to pass through me. When the experience subsided, I was left with nothing but my breath and inner silence. I was lighter. I was free.

Fear calls us to attention and pain demands transcendence. Suffering is born from the resistance to the natural flow of life. Resistance weighs us down and it can significantly hinder our pursuit of anything. I was a prisoner, before taking the medicine, and that night Ayahuasca and every circumstance conspired to make me lose my hold and surrender. That night I died to myself, and in doing so, I came to a place where I thought I was to meet my boundaries, only to find that they never existed in the first place.