What’s Going On Down There?
Tags: Gender, LGBTQ, Creative Non Fiction, Nonbinary, Transgender

From my travails through the Internet in search of learning material, I’ve found that the potential for bottom growth and the lack of accessible information surrounding it is one of the primary reasons why transmasculine individuals hold off on starting HRT.

I get that the “no-no square” is taboo and not something we are supposed to be talking about, but my lower regions look very different than they did six months ago, and I want to talk about it in the hopes that it helps another trans nonbinary AFAB on T (or considering taking T) feel less alone. We need a safe space for this conversation to take place.

On that note, I have a few thoughts.

Being told that you will “grow a small dick” from your T is not something everyone wants to hear.

Language matters, people. Calling it a “T-Dick” isn’t going to work for everyone. I’m not calling my parts my dick. No way. No thank you. Gross. That’s not it for me.

I have never experienced bottom dysphoria simply because I know that being born with the primary alternative would’ve been worse for me. My lower section is functional, healthy, and generally unobtrusive, so we get along just fine. I did not get on T to grow a penis, and I wish that we had better language for nonbinary individuals to use in this particular setting.

No transmasculine individual should be shamed for wanting to talk about their bottom growth.

My bits have changed form, and that deserves safe, healthy, and informative discussion. Where is our support system?

I know that nonbinary or gender non-conforming AFABs who are interested in or have recently started T and are experiencing bottom growth is a bit of a niche market, but I believe that this is worthy of more conversations and attention.

In fact, I would imagine that there are binary trans men who would also appreciate more of a dialogue around the issue of bottom growth. Maybe, there are trans men who also don’t necessarily love that our only popularized language for bottom growth is “T-Dick.”

We need to be given better information ahead of starting T.

This is self-explanatory. I wish I had been shown images of what I could expect. That way, when I waddled out of my bedroom into my bathroom with a hand mirror one week on T to figure out what the fork was happening down there, I would’ve been a bit more prepared.

Simply listing “bottom growth” as a member of the long list of potential outcomes of T is not enough. I’m not upset about how my bits look now, but a bit of information ahead of time would’ve been much appreciated. I shouldn’t have to watch porn to get a better understanding of my body. I am not interested in supporting the fetishization of gendervariant individuals in my search for representation and visibility.

At the moment, the burden falls on us to create safe spaces in order to have bottom growth-related conversations.

It’s a poor hand to be dealt, but we are resourceful, resilient, compassionate, and sexy souls. (I had to throw “sexy” in there to lighten the mood.) Beginning these conversations with other individuals who are in this uniquely isolated and poorly documented boat is awkward, but it can be done.

We need to be there for each other — to answer questions, provide support, and to show that bottom growth is normal and okay.