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Depression is not a Racist
By: Nguvu Health
Tags: Depression, Anxiety, Health, Therapy, Mental Health

So, let me ask you this: how will you feel if you get a text from your friend that reads:

“I’m freaking out!!! Like I’m trying everything I can to be calm but I can’t!”

Or maybe you get this from another saying:

“I am tired of life and I’ve begun to cut myself and eventually want to kill myself.”

These are real highlights of my personal experiences with close friends’ struggles with mental health disorder and I hate to wonder what may have happened if they didn’t get a response to their messages or even an answer to their calls.

Sad fact: close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds; suicide being the second leading cause of death among 15–29 year olds globally, according to a 2016 WHO Suicide Data.

This reality of what people are facing or have faced is what spurred me to start Nguvu Health.

Nguvu Health is an on-demand teletherapy platform for Africans/Blacks both at home and in diaspora.

It is true that the concept of therapy is still a bit strange to some people but in actuality, many people need a professional; someone trained to identify traces and symptoms of mental disorders. For instance, I am not a clinical psychologist, so I can’t really decipher if someone is suffering a mental disorder and even if I were to be so certain which one it is, I won’t know what else to do from there. So, I thought, why not create a safe space, where people can talk unprovoked with licensed therapists who will handhold them through their mental health journey?
Maybe You Should See A Therapist
By: Xandra Okori
Tags: Health, Therapy, Mindfulness, Mental Health, Psychology

Maybe You Should See A Therapist

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

When I was 16, I saw my first therapist — a middle-aged lady with kind eyes who patiently willed me to open up in a safe space. Since then, I’ve been in and out of therapy with various providers. This is mainly because it can be hard to keep up with appointments as life gets busy, it hasn’t always been accessible to me, or I’ve moved around a lot. However, I’ll never discount the benefits of seeing someone as it’s been life-changing and helped me grow into a better person.

Here are some benefits I’ve discovered with talking to a professional:

You get an unbiased point-of-view. Working through your problems with someone you don’t have a shared history with can help you look at issues from a different perspective; it’s unfamiliar, but often more helpful.

Working through your internal processes can help you learn more about yourself and grow. When you start to understand why you think and behave the way you do, you become more self-aware and can work towards making healthier decisions in your life.

You learn more about the way you view yourself vs. reality. Related to growing self-awareness, you learn to get out of your head and be more present in the real world. You start to realize that many of your worries are just that, and your present reality is not as chaotic as you imagined.

You learn healthy strategies to deal with your issues. It’s a long, hard process, but you learn to stop using unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid your problems and instead face them head-on.

You have someone to vent and cry to without fear of judgment. Of course, you can do this with your loved ones too, but it can be more beneficial with a professional so that you don’t have to worry about putting too much of an emotional burden on the other person.

You get help with unpacking hidden traumas. You don’t realize it, but a lot of your behaviors and thought patterns are affected by your most traumatic experiences, especially the ones that you haven’t fully processed yet. When you start to unpack and process these experiences, you begin to heal.
Art Therapy: An Expressive Treatment for PTSD
By: Cc Blankson
Tags: Ptsd Treatment, Art, Art Therapy, Therapy, PTSD

Art therapy holds tremendous healing potential when conducted by a skilled practitioner — the art therapist. Those who engage in art therapy are able to express painful feelings from the past or present, and process their trauma in different artistic ways.

Working with an art therapist has proven to be very effective for those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is simply a disorder marked by inability to recover after encountering or witnessing a traumatic incident.

PTSD induces symptoms such as re-experiencing the trauma, touchiness or reactivity, memory lapses, panic attacks or anxiety, and numbness or dissociation. Traumatic memories are undigested memories. To recover from PTSD, one must be willing to work through these undigested memories till they no longer induce symptoms.

Through the various creative mediums provided by art therapy — painting, sculpture, drawing, writing, photography and more, a person struggling with PTSD learns to process his/her traumatic experience in a different way. Art provides an avenue to express your pain when words fail. When a PTSD patient works with a trained art therapist, the entire therapeutic process involves art.

When you incorporate art into therapy, it addresses a person’s whole experience, and this is extremely important with PTSD. Trauma is not only encountered through words. Though talk therapy has long been used to treat PTSD, words can often fail to do the job. According to experts, art therapy works better because it offers an additional, equally powerful outlet for expression.
Why Teletherapy Doesn’t Work
Tags: Therapy, Teletherapy

Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

It seems like every other ad is about teletherapy. You can download an app and you will have a therapist at your finger tips within seconds. This sounds too good to be true. I gave it a shot and it just was not for me. And, it seems like its kinda not working?

Like many people, I decided to give therapy a shot during Covid-19 “quarantine” / “lockdown.” Over a span of 6 months, I switched to 3 therapists and here is why teletherapy did not work.

24/7 Access to A Therapist Is A Scam

Many teletherapy companies promise that you can text your therapist through the app at any time. I loved this feature!

Whenever I felt like I wanted to talk about something right away instead of waiting till our next scheduled session, I went ahead and messaged my therapist. Minutes would go by. Hours would go by. Days would go by…

Often times my therapist would bring up what I wanted to talk about days ago during our session. The text feature was pointless. What’s the point of having a feature where you can text your therapist if you were unable to talk about the issue immediately.

Therapy Sessions During Normal Hours Was Too Much To Ask

It felt like the therapists were overwhelmed with the amount of people they had. It was difficult to schedule times with the therapists because all their allotted slots would be taken and the only ones left would be random 2 PM sessions on a weekday.

Scheduled sessions were 30 minutes. If the therapist is available then they may be able to squeeze you in for a 50 minute session. Often times 50 minutes would be up and I would need to schedule another session. But the cost to schedule another session within the same week was an added cost. It felt like you never have enough time with your therapist.

Last minute cancellations were a pain in the ass. The therapists’ never had enough time slots. You had to somehow squeeze in another one that same week or do an extra long session the following week. Which, by the way, never worked because again the therapist never had enough time slots.

Low Quality Therapists

It just felt like the therapists did not know what they were doing. At times it felt like I was telling the therapist these are the things you should recommend for someone like me. I felt like I was playing the role of the therapist and the patient. Even when my therapists made recommendations it felt like these recommendations were things I could find when if I just used Google.

Teletherapy Not For Everyone

Overall, teletherapy was not for me. Over a span of 6 months I matched with 3 different therapists and I did not gain much. The therapists were some of the kindest people I’ve met and they genuinely did care about my wellbeing. The convenience of having a therapist at your finger tips at anytime sounded like it was too good to be true. It ended up being true in my case.
Therapy and Insurance: What You Need to Know
By: Tia Wheeler
Tags: Money, Health Insurance, Therapy, Mental Health, Insurance

Several mental health professionals are on insurance panels, and they do so as a courtesy to their clientele. Unfortunately, about 29.6 million people were uninsured in the United States in 2019. Furthermore, in North Carolina, approximately 1.2 million people, about 11% of the population, were uninsured. The lack of access to mental health insurance limits our fellow Americans and North Carolinians' ability to get the service they deserve. For those that do have access to insurance, many people have a high deductible. Suppose you are an average American with an insurance deductible between about $4k and $8k depending on if you are an individual or a family. With those staggering statistics, to promote equity, there are mental health professionals, myself included… who will decline to accept insurance altogether.

But how can declining to accept insurance promote equity? I am glad you asked.

If you have insurance, and your insurance plan will reimburse you for out of network services, your therapist should provide you with an invoice to present to your insurance company for up to 100% reimbursement.

When therapists bill insurance, we must provide a mental health diagnosis… whether you have one or not. These diagnoses will become part of your medical record, creating further problems in accessing services in the future (think trying to purchase life insurance and having a higher charge due to the diagnosis on file).

Insurance companies can limit the number of sessions, and they can deny coverage for many reasons. By paying privately, clients eliminate the prospect of service disruption due to circumstances out of their control.

As you can see, choosing to pay out of pocket for your mental health services is an equitable solution for you and your therapist. Your therapist has control over their rate (ensuring fair pay for them), and you have the option to be reimbursed if you are fortunate to have insurance. Furthermore, your record is private from harmful companies that may choose to charge you more due to pre-existing conditions, and your therapist of choice is not pressured to provide a diagnosis for you that may not be relevant or necessary.

I hope that this has been informative for you, and if you have any feedback, I would love to hear it in the comments. As always, you can learn more about my practice here and schedule a free consultation so that we can determine if I could be a good fit for you.

Grace & Peace,

Tia, LCSW
Red Flags and Therapists
By: Jyoti Meena
Tags: Therapy, Mental Health, Psychology, Therapist, Short Form

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Recently, I wrote a story about my experience with a toxic therapist. Luckily, I was able to catch on to her toxic behavior in the first session, and I never revisited her.

Always remember that just because someone has the degree, doesn’t mean that they would be the best therapist for you.
If You Want to Have a Better Life, Try to Fall in Love With Yourself
By: Simona Hos
Tags: Therapy, Inspiration, Self, Philosophy, Motivation

Everything you see around you is a reflection of what´s within you. So if you don´t like what you see, there´s no problem with the world — only with you.

Can you find yourself (subconsciously) repeating one of these statements to yourself on an everyday basis?

My life sucks.

I hate my job.

I´m so alone.

Nobody cares about me.

I´m lazy to change my life.

I live without purpose.

(Or fill in any negative affirmation you feed your mind with.)

A mind acts like a sponge and it absorbs all the thoughts running through your head. Then — you act on these the whole day.

As Buddha said,

“What you think, you become.”

Now imagine someone who you truly love. Your mom, husband, kid, or best friend. Would you say any of the above-mentioned statements to them? That nobody cares about them? That they suck and their lives are going nowhere?

Most likely not.

This should be an answer clear enough.

You are obviously not in love with who you are. And until you don´t change this, you´ll be always able to repeat negative affirmations to yourself.

Keep doing this, and your life will always look the same as it does now.

Once you can love yourself, you can do anything. You can achieve everything you dream of.

You can do everything for the people you love. You can avoid bad behavior towards the beloved ones. You can do your best to make these people feel good. So why couldn´t you do the same for yourself?

Can you imagine how far would you come if you took care of your own life the same way as you do it with your loved ones?

When you fall in love with yourself, you keep saying only nice things to yourself. By repeating these, your mind fills with positivity and hope. And with that mindset, you´ll see the world around starts changing for the better.

Not because you changed the attitude towards the world, but because you changed the attitude towards yourself.

So next time, when you see bad things around you, don´t search for answers out there. It´s time to look within.
HAPPINESS ( How to live Happy Life)
By: Syeda Nabira
Tags: Happiness In Life, Therapy, Love Yourself, Happiness, Smile

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions”

Happiness is nothing just a inner peace & satisfication . Happiness is completely up to us. How happy we’re depends on our mindsets, our thoughts, the habits we practice, the way we live each day , the routine we follow , the way we interact with others , our facial expressions .By learning the key point of happiness, w can use them to became happy.

Think less , feel more Talk less , listen more Complain less , appreciate more Expect less , do more Fear less , love more Judge less , Accept more

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”–Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is more than a good feeling & a smiley face. Its a true feeling of enjoying your life & make the most of it. We can say Happiness is a additional & a secret sauce that encourage us to be good & do our best.

Researchers found when they studied happy people:

Happy people are more successful. Happy people are better at reaching goals. Happy people are healthier. Happy people live longer. Happy people have better relationships. Happy people learn better.

Happiness is so important in our lives specially now a days when world is battling with the Virus , everything seems difficult , worthless & scary. For me “The key to being happy is knowing you’ve the power to choose what to accept & what to let go”
COVID-19 teletherapy
By: Chris Holly
Tags: Therapy, Mental Health

Me: Hello?

Them: Hello!

Me: How are you?

Them: Ok (clearly not ok, I can hear it in their voice, but I can’t see them. They are poor or have no internet to handle video calls so I just stay committed to phone calls for 12 hours a day. This is rural Illinois but they still need the therapy — a human connection of some type. They are pissed that they don’t have money to do basic things easily, much less afford internet. The family is possibly abusive or affected by drugs. There is maybe a legacy of mental illness in the family. There isn’t much to do or distract themselves because there isn’t anything open to keep people from dying from COVID-19. They are still getting it and dying anyway, because businesses are staying open in defiance of the government, because no one can pay for them to stay at home and if they don’t work they lose their livelihood. Medicine is expensive and Illinois Medicaid is difficult to navigate. There isn’t a ton of insurance for even working people, since the deductible is 2500 and they can’t afford therapy until the deductible is met. Finding work has been a hard thing since 2008 anyway. Much less a sense of meaning and purpose. Or to go fishing. Or to be at peace for a moment.)

Therapy, therapy, therapy.

Let’s do it again soon!
Will Therapy Make Me Happy?
By: Tia Wheeler
Tags: Therapy, Mental Health Awareness, Mental Health, Happiness

Will therapy make you happy?? Here’s the unpopular opinion — No.

*Insert gasps and pearl clutch here*

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

Therapy, by itself, is not enough to make anyone “happy.” Please, bear with me.

First things first, what is “happiness”? Is it a family free of conflict? A job where we feel respected? A child that listens the first time? Therapy cannot make anyone “happy” without first identifying what “happiness” means.

Second, when you enter into the therapeutic space — the reason why you are there… matters. I have had participants enter into a session because their partner, sibling, boss… told them that they had to be there. Suppose you choose to attend therapy because you accept the feedback from any one of those previously mentioned individuals. In that case, that is completely fine — however, if that is the sole reason you are there, you will leave that space feeling dissatisfied more often than not.

Finally, therapy is meant to be used as a tool to help people to reach their goals. It is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Furthermore, any number of healers facilitate therapy. It is your responsibility to find someone you believe will be best able to assist you on your journey.

So, while I do not believe that therapy will make you “happy…” I think that therapy, when engaged as an active participant, alongside a professional, with clear goals in mind… can make you better. I believe that therapy can make you wiser. I think that therapy can fill you with confidence, and I believe that therapy can help to set you free from whatever it is that binds you.

Wherever you are on your journey, I hope that this post helped you, and I would love it if you let me know more in the comments.

If you are interested in starting your own therapeutic journey, please do not hesitate to reach out to me for a free consultation.

Grace & Peace,

Tia, LCSW
Actually, It’s NOT all About the Present Moment
By: Serena V Amoroso
Tags: Meditation, Spirituality, Mindset, Therapy, Mindfulness

Is the whole ‘present moment’ thing 𝙣𝙤𝙩 working for you? Keep reading.

In Spiritual circles + the mindfulness movement you’ve probably heard phrases along the lines of:

“Just be in the present.”

“The only time is now.”

“All of your worries + fears are because of the past and future.”

NOW there is Truth to these statements AND when these phrases have been shared with me I’ve also felt an energy of judgement, shaming, superiority and dismissiveness. I can see usually the person who was sharing with me was trying to help me by reminding me of this Truth AND there was a complete lack of compassion around my humanness and my experience. Have you experienced that too?

Here’s what I’ve discovered around this teaching:

It’s not ONLY about the present moment as we’ve been sold. It’s very much about the present 𝘼𝙉𝘿 the past 𝘼𝙉𝘿 the future. That is our gift as humans. We consciously evolve through reflecting + dreaming. The past & future cultivate our awareness so we can choose differently in the present moment to align with our Soul + Source.

TWO STEPS TO USE YOUR PAST + FUTURE to unlock your most expansive self yet:

1️⃣Suffering from ruminating on the past? ASK: what is the lesson here? What can I learn from this experience? What is my role in this scenario? Is there a pattern? How do I want to handle a similar situation in the future?

2️⃣Lacking hope + excitement towards the future? Schedule time ( SERIOUSLY — block off 10 minutes today ) and daydream. What are your dreams, desires + fears for the next day? month? 3 years? What brings fire into your heart?

We consciously evolve through presently being NOT in the present moment. Ya feel?

x Serena

@serenavamoroso
To Make Things Happen, You Don´t Need to Get Involved
By: Simona Hos
Tags: Short Story, Therapy, Self, Philosophy, Motivation

Some things come into your life whether you like it or not. Some things you won´t achieve ever, no matter how hard you try. So what´s the point in all the suffering?

Your dreams act like shadows. Either you hunt them, or they hunt you. If you keep pushing the natural flow of life, you will miss all the things coming your way.

It´s the same as waiting for your crush around the corner. If you hang out there just for the purpose of meeting them, most likely they won´t come. It was not meant to be.

Next time, when you don´t expect it at all, you´ll run into each other — effortlessly.

That´s how life works. And if you keep flowing with it, not against it, you will have a great chance of getting what was meant for you.

You can build a great business using your knowledge and experience. You can become healthy by regular exercise and diet. Because all of these things are in your control. You can change them; you can modify them the way you want.

But what about everything that´s out of your control, about the things you can´t change? Meeting true love, finding your life purpose?

In this case, simply imagine what you want. Make a wish, and let it go. Now the universe is ready to send you what you need.

As Alan Watts said,

“We have a strange anxiety in us, that if we don´t interfere then it won´t happen. Now that´s the root of an enormous amount of trouble.”
Therapist Says She Would Refuse to Treat Pro-Lifers Struggling With Mental Illness
By: Sarah Terzo
Tags: Counseling, Counseling Services, Abortion, Therapy, Pro Life

In 2019, a British judge ruled in favor of forcing a mentally disabled woman to have an abortion. In this egregious case, the woman was 22 weeks pregnant. Her mother had offered to raise and care for the child, saying an abortion violated her and her daughter’s beliefs.

Nevertheless, the judge ruled to force the woman to abort against her will. Fortunately, the decision was later overruled.

Before the judge’s verdict was overturned, a woman identifying herself as a mental health professional and therapist tweeted in favor of the forced abortion:

Another Twitter user suggested that pro-lifers might avoid going to this therapist, and she said, “it’s ok, I’m not really interested in having anti-abortion bigots as clients thanks.”

This attitude from a health care worker is troubling. Mental health professionals are not supposed to screen their clients based on their political views.

If a pro-life person has a mental illness or just needs a therapist to cope with stressors in their lives, they should not have to worry about being mistreated or denied care due to their beliefs. This is no different than another health professional, such as a doctor or surgeon, refusing to treat a pro-life person.

The rest of the conversation went as follows:

There was no further response.

Clearly, unless the therapist asks each potential patient “are you pro-life?” when she first meets them, a scenario like the above could easily happen. A pro-life person struggling with mental health issues doesn’t deserve to be mistreated or abandoned by a health care provider due to his or her commitment to protecting preborn babies.

Turning away a patient in need, or flat out abandoning one, is clearly wrong and unprofessional.

In many rural areas, there are a limited number of mental health professionals available. A patient’s insurance also limits the providers they can see. Turned away by one therapist, it may not be easy to find another.

Discrimination against pro-lifers in health care is unacceptable. Any pro-lifer who believes they have been denied health care due to their pro-life beliefs should file a complaint with the state Board of Health.
A Monday
By: Kevin Costa
Tags: Love, Therapy, Hemolo, Poem, Writing

A Monday

A snippet into a world unfamiliar,

Where suddenly reality became less real.

The right words came out of his mouth and whispered all the sweet nothings that I wanted to hear.

The spirits in my glass weren’t the only things that lifted my spirits.

At last a reprieve from the cold and the darkeness outside.

For the first time in a while, I felt happy and normal inside.

A dose of reality, I needed to pee.

On my way to the bathroom I snuck in a kiss not at all subtlety.

Not a care in the world I gave at that moment.

I felt like I was peering into a different side of you.

A part of your soul that was real and vulnerable,

Something I knew existed the whole time, but hadn’t quite seen before.

Fast forward a bit from where the magical moment began,

Now purple lights glow as together we explore places we’ve never before.

I hope with all my heart that this moment isn’t fleeting.

My vulnerability climaxes and I even shed a tear,

Simultaneously full of happiness but also fear.
Therapy isn’t for the feint of heart…
By: Michelle Gruber Homrighouse
Tags: Therapy

Therapy isn’t for the feint of heart…

I’ve had people use the excuse that they’re “not ready for therapy”. I kind of get that excuse. I mean, who’s ever ”ready” to work on all the hard stuff that we struggle with? Not me. At least that what I tell myself, and yet I keep going back every week. Why? Well I guess I’m tired of trying to fix my issues on my own. I can’t tell you how often I’ve tried. Honestly, it feels good for awhile. But unresolved issues have a tendency to come back stronger. I go back because I know it helps me reconnect to myself. I get to connect with all the different parts of me that struggle to be heard and felt. Visualize this…. a meeting room full of people arguing. No one can agree on what needs to be said and there‘s always someone who never gets heard…. that’s my brain ALL the time. For a lack of a better term , I’ll call the mess in my head “the committee”. In therapy we work on how to interact with all the different parts of my committee. How each one can be acknowledged and heard. It’s exhausting. Most sessions feels like a mental marathon. It takes a lot to deal with this traumatized brain of mine. It may sound like I’ve just started therapy, but I’ve been at it for years.I’ve had some amazing therapist and some really bad ones too. I have to say I’ve really been blessed with my last one though. She’s challenged me more than any of my previous therapist. Of course I feel like I challenge her sometimes too… so I think we’re even. I believe that I’ve done more healing with her than I have with my previous therapist. Not that I didn’t do some healing before , I did. I’m forever thankful for caring therapist of my past. But I think I was finally ready to dive deep because I finally felt safe enough to. My feelings of safety and trust is a huge thing for me in therapy… it’s a tremendous blessing to have found someone with the wisdom and knowledge to know this. Having an awesome therapist is great! Does it make therapy easier? Nope, matter of fact it kind of makes it more difficult…. and least for me. Like I said…. she challenges me. I still have some major things to deal with… and life has been pretty exhausting and hard lately. Covid and depression just don’t mix well. But with a lot of help from God, friends and church I think I’m going to make it.

Peace,

Michelle
If You’re Feeling Stagnant in Your Therapy, Don’t Give up Yet
By: Carine Ru
Tags: Therapy, Mental Health, Mental Health Treatment, Psychology, Self-awareness

Why you stagnate

William Doherty, professor and therapist, compares getting stuck with what he calls “Groundhog Day therapy”. Though the therapy continues, everything seems to stay the same.

1. You’ve overcome a big hurdle

When I first addressed my concerns about feeling stuck, my therapist wasn’t surprised at all. The number of hurdles we had overcome in the first year was huge.

At the end of it, I was exhausted. And although things were looking up, I didn’t necessarily feel any better.

She proceeded to tell me what I was experiencing was more than common. To get to the bottom of your problems therapy will have to take a lot from you. When progress that used to be tangible slows down, it can feel like failing.

2. You’re not comfortable with your therapist (anymore)

Trust is not only hard, but you also have to nurture it.

Lacking trust could very well stem from misunderstandings. It’s important to speak up on such right away, to make sure the feeling doesn’t get worse. At the end of the day, your therapist is a human being and though they are professionals as well, they won’t always say the “right” thing.

Therapy will not always be comfortable. In fact, the most uncomfortable parts of therapy are the ones that attain the most progress.

But sometimes being uncomfortable is your gut telling you something is off. You might have outgrown your therapist.

Tamara Stevens, a licensed Psychological associate, differentiates between signs of progress and signs of stagnation in therapy.

According to her research progressing therapy will lead to healthier choices, fewer symptoms, or bettered self-confidence. Stagnant therapy causes no progress, little connection with your therapist, unclear goals, or lack of commitment.

So if you feel like your therapy was progressing at some point and only feels stagnant at this moment, the unease might be a defense mechanism to not dig deeper.

“Usually safety is over-valued when failure is over-feared. If a person is stagnating, it is probably because risk is seen as terrifying.” — Richard B. Grose

3. You’re afraid to dig deeper

After you’ve overcome many hurdles and feel better, you might want to stop right there. But in therapy, you often have to dig deeper to get to underlying patterns that cause those problems.

You’ll always have to keep pushing and get out of your comfort zone, which can be a scary place. Especially when you’re afraid of reoccurring symptoms. And something you have to be aware of when beginning therapy is that your symptoms will probably worsen before they get better.

My therapist made me aware of the fact this might happen. But actually slipping still felt wrong and like it wasn’t the direction things should take.

If you’re the type of person that wants to be in control, your mind can be very convincing when it comes to continuing down a path that seems uncomfortable or even hurtful.

Nobody voluntarily wants to be in a bad mental space, but it might need to get worse before it can get better.
3 Signs That Your Therapist Is Actually Toxic For Your Mental Health
By: Jyoti Meena
Tags: Therapy, Mental Health, Psychology, Therapist, This Happened To Me

3 Signs That Your Therapist Is Actually Toxic For Your Mental Health

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Almost immediately after I entered college, my life started falling apart. The flimsy tapes I had used to tape my mental sanity started crumbling down. The small cracks started widening and the hold I had started slipping away. The wounded and unresolved childhood trauma started showing up, taking up the form of mood swings and random crying spells.

Imagine my embarrassment when I started crying in my classroom full of 50 people out of blue, without any reason.

After battling the unconscious internalized shame about mental health and lack of accessibility for years, I decided to take help from the free counseling services available on my college campus. The system worked so that everyone was allocated a counselor based on the availability of slots. All I had to do was to go and fill a form and wait for my appointment mail to come.

After getting a date for the next day, I prepared myself mentally for the appointment. I even jotted down the points I wanted to talk about. I was jittery.

The session began normally. I started speaking about the issues I was having. She nodded and used basic paraphrasing and questioning to nudge me ahead. Within 10 minutes, I found myself crying my eyes out. The process of unloading all the pain in one go was cathartic. I was crying more out of relief than emotional pain.

Then she did the unimagined. She picked up her phone and started looking at the screen. Through my blurry vision, I saw her scroll through her phone for a good minute or two before she kept it down and paid attention to me.

I was stunned. As a trainee psychologist, I was aware that was not acceptable behavior. In particular, checking her mobile while I was in an emotionally vulnerable state made me feel invalidated.

I never went back for another session.

Luckily, the next therapist turned out to be an absolute angel. She helped me discover my anxious attachment style and work through repressed material from my childhood. She follows all the required ethical guidelines and never lets me leave the session with negative feelings. She even seeks my feedback on every session.

Sessions with her have helped me see other red flags that I missed in my session with my first therapist.
A book I’ve been enjoying: How to Change Your Mind
By: Dana J. Wright
Tags: Michael Pollan, Psychedelics, Therapy, Psychiatry, Psychology

A book I’ve been enjoying: How to Change Your Mind

Michael Pollan’s new(ish) book about psychedelic drugs. I held off reading it (almost didn’t read it) because I’m well-acquainted with the subject (ha!).

If you’re experienced, it puts into language some things you may already know, like psychedelics are to drugs what the Pyramids are to architecture — majestic, ancient, and a little frightening.

Pollan argues that our anxieties are misplaced when it comes to psychedelics, most of which are nonaddictive.

But seriously, it’s an inspiring read about their therapeutic reach, and it has me very excited for people struggling with depression and addiction.

Viktor Marchev –– Curious if you’ve read it.
A virus inside a virus — part 2. In ascending order from our solar…
By: Kevin Costa
Tags: Relativity, Therapy, Hemolo, Writing, Earth

A virus inside a virus — part 2

In ascending order from our solar system, to the Milky Way galaxy, to the Universe, the unfathomable size of what’s out there perplexes, astonishes and intrigues. The Universe’s depth is a mystery that might forever remain unknown. What we do know of it is that it is massive. An overwhelming abyss of stars, moons and planets that seems to carry on infinitely. Here on earth, relatively speaking, the world is big and the world is small. We can travel hundreds or even thousands of miles and discover that we are still on the same terrestrial planet.

Eight planets of varying sizes revolve around the sun in our humble solar system at different speeds. But our solar system is but a blip on the radar in terms of how many solar systems are out there. There may be tens, if not hundreds of billions of solar systems in the galaxy, let alone the world.
Plastic Reality: Where Mind Magic Meets Philosophy
By: Alexander M. Combstrong
Tags: Therapy, Magic, Hypnosis, Psychology, Philosophy

Hypnosis

There’s a lot of misunderstanding around hypnosis. Stage hypnotists like to keep the mystery going and let that misunderstanding flourish. Hypnotherapists try to distance themselves from the picture of stage hypnotists, while also enjoying the attention it gets for hypnosis and the perceived power it brings. The two are very different, but they have one thing in common: they aim to change the reality experienced by the subject.

Hypnotherapists aim to do this permanently in ways that are helpful to the patient, and hope that they will never again see a spider as terrifying or a cigarette irresistible. Stage hypnotists don’t want their subjects to leave still thinking they’re a chicken, but need them to believe it fully in the moment they’re on that stage. That needs to be their reality.

Stage hypnotist and hypnotherapist Anthony Jacquin writes in his book, Reality is Plastic!:

“Hypnosis literally changes our perception of reality, it gives us another false consciousness that we adapt to as being as true and real as the last — in this sense reality is plastic.”

There’s an argument that people who go on the stage with a hypnotist are just playing along. Often this is likely to be true, and many stage hypnotists are happy to admit it. But not always. And this doesn’t explain how the hypnotists can do such things on hidden camera shows or YouTube channels, or just out in person. As Jacquin continues:

“Is it possible to walk into a shop, talk to a member of staff for a few minutes and leave with anything you choose without paying? Is it possible to pay people with pieces of rubbish instead of cash/card? Is it possible to become invisible? The answer to all these questions and many more just like it is yes.”

I trained in hypnotherapy and dabbled in mentalism (mind-related magic) for a short while. It wasn’t a world in which I wanted to stay because it was, well, weird. When something unexpected and unexplainable happens, people really do create their own realities. Not just about what happened either, but about plenty of things that didn’t.
Depression Ep. 1: Silence
Tags: Unfiltered, Depression, Therapy, Mental Health, Writer

I have had depression since the age of five, when my grandpa passed away. Every once and a while the depression catches up with me, and here I am… The way I could describe depression is this: silence. It’s scientifically proven (aka I read somewhere on the internet), that people go insane as well as hallucinate from silence.

It’s so silent it makes you go mad.

This felt accurate to the vibe of this post

When I get depressed I get in these existential crisis modes where I’m just like “oh my god I’m just going to keep living, and going on and on and on and on…” Well, you get the point.

Why is it that living is so hard sometimes? Like I breathe air and it’s like my brain goes “fuck you, you piece of shit.” Like thanks, I really needed that. But it’s hard to describe depression like that.

So here’s the way I describe my depression to my boyfriend is like this: My brain is a house, and I live in it. My depression {who I call Tyranny (tear-in-ee)} is a depressed little teenager who I took in and stays in her room, for the most part. When Tyranny comes out of her room, she comes out screaming, and yelling all of these horrible things at me. She makes every single little problem that I have and turns it into something that is way worse. Most of the things she brings up are either things of my past, or little things that don’t matter. Then she sits at my kitchen table and eats all of my happiness from my fridge.

Now, I know that is all theoretical, and Tyranny is not really anyone, she’s me. That’s just how I imagine my depression so I can handle/understand it better.

Honestly sometimes there feels like there’s no hope to with depression. You could take anti-depressants, but then you’re numb. You could ignore/suppress it, but then you get long term issues and unhealthy habits. You could talk to a therapist, but that includes having to find one and a good one and that feels really rare. Not to mention the anxiety with calling people, and then there’s the wonderful question: “have you ever had thoughts about hurting yourself or others? … Oh, and when was the last time.” Like it’s already hard to talk to you lady, I don’t want to feel ashamed about being suicidal and depressed (Not that I have a personal experience like that… I’m obviously lying).

Not saying that depression is hard to live with ALL of the time for me. Sometimes it can be actually ok to live with. Depends on the day, and depends on how much my body actually wants to hate myself.
Medium Writing Might Be Therapy
By: Floyd Mori
Tags: Success, Therapy, Poetry, Medium, Writing

Medium Writing Might Be Therapy

Photo by Scott Graham on Unsplash

You put a lot of work into your writing,

but are you reaching anyone?

If you are writing for Medium

and getting 100 or 200 views a day,

and not making $100 a month,

does that mean you are a failure?

Are you able to make a difference

in anyone’s life from your writing?

Maybe you are just helping yourself

by expressing your views and ideas.

It could be good therapy for you even

if you don’t get a lot of views or reads.

That might make you a success.
Transforming Quarantine Into Therapy
By: T.C. Gunter
Tags: Self Improvement, Therapy, Mental Health, Covid 19, Writing

Transforming Quarantine Into Therapy

Photo by Arseny Togulev on Unsplash

Mental illness runs in my family. Along with my mom and dad, my brother and two sisters dealt with some form of anxiety and depression. My parents are long passed for about 27 years now, but my siblings and I are still struggling.

When I was six, I had my first seizure. Complex partial-onset seizure is the medical term, and I had it in my sleep. This type of seizure doesn’t involve flailing movement. It’s quite the opposite. You don’t move at all. So, when my mother tried to wake me that morning and couldn’t, it terrified her. After my epilepsy diagnosis, she became overly protective of me. This would mark the beginning of my anxiety.

I was completely unaware, and by no fault of her own, that my mother turned the world into a dangerous place for me. She was like a hawk standing vigil over me, and who could blame her? She didn’t know when or where I could have another episode. She feared losing me. So, she held on tight.

Rewind just a bit to my birth. My father’s nervous breakdown required us to move from the city out to the countryside. My birth came around the same time. Social security disability and food stamps kept us from hunger, but my mom’s parent’s old house had no running water, although it did have electricity.

Attending elementary school came with its set of challenges such as being told to ‘take a bath’ by the other kids. I kept to myself mostly, but that was only when I made it to school. My medicine for epilepsy made me sleepy. So, it was difficult to wake me up in the mornings, and I was absent from school frequently. I have vague memories of Child Protective Services talking to my parents, so I know they were in trouble for my lack of attendance.

Eventually, things worked out, and my parents didn’t get in trouble (I’m assuming CPS understood my circumstances). However, the mental marks on me were there to stay. They followed me through middle and high school until I dropped out in the 10th grade.

During this whole process, my parents dealt with their illnesses. My father had agoraphobia and my mother was an alcoholic. Neither of them had the tools to combat the difficulties they faced in life. Eventually, cardiac disease would take my dad, and sclerosis of the liver would take my mom. They died in their 50's.

I went through many ups and downs after their passing. I married for the wrong reasons, got divorced, and had a spotty work record. I suffered from anxiety and depression but didn’t get the right help I needed to climb out. That finally changed a few years ago, and I’m in a better place. I like to think of it as struggling forward.
Thanks for the Therapy saith Bob Hope?
By: William Tucker
Tags: Self Improvement, Humor, Therapy, Poetry, Self

Thanks for the Therapy saith Bob Hope?

Very inspirational!

Twas a time meselves road poetry but then came the new math and sex ed and your great info about it. So snows sNow it’s fauxetry or for a tree? 4a + tree = fouratree + SeIx = 46= Poetry Sex? Is The rapt u tic?

Just Forussed Tree Sex? Just Forest Tree Sex?

Anyway, thanks so much for helping us all to maintain our minds during these times?

Semper Fi Colonel

Namaste

unilliam
A virus inside a virus – take one, part 1
By: Kevin Costa
Tags: Pandemic, Virus, Therapy, Hemolo, Writing

A virus inside a virus – take one, part 1

8 billion souls eat, drink, breathe, and pee day in and day out.

Each day, some souls die and more come alive.

Some more than others believe that we are part of a system.

A network of some kind that helps keep us alive.

In clusters we live, some denser than others.

And from the gifts of Mother Earth, we sustain ourselves.

There’s a pandemic out there.

It’s given every soul alive a fright.

That they might be infected or infect others.

And that they or a loved one will die.

It’s an existencial crisis really.

We can fight it off as best as we can.

And at the end of the day, it’s live or die.
Roam if you want to.
By: Kevin Costa
Tags: Time, Therapy, Thoughts, Hemolo, Poem

Roam if you want to.

Everywhere, but not too far.

To worlds where no one knows you.

I call out, but the room is empty.

Closed mouths don’t get fed.

Endeavors lost forever.

Not enough and too much time passes by.

Time lost is never found again.

—

Reach out.

Embrace me once again.

Tell me about your past;

In it might lie the key to our future.

Can’t you feel what I feel?

Entrust me with your thoughts,

No need to be reticent.

Time to let me in.

—

Regards to your thoughts,

Even though I never knew them.

Time and time again,

I tried to peer within.

Composed, calm, and collected.

Even now I still haven’t a clue.

Now, as our time comes near,

Timing shouldn’t have been my fear.
Writing Is Your Super Power
By: Kunal Singh Chhabra
Tags: Therapy, Creators, Execution, Writing, Ideas

Find Out How!

At a point in time, you usually have a lot going in your head. Whether it’s money, relationships, work, or anything else. It’s best to write about your thoughts or just make a note of them. The reason being, most times in the midst of the clutter of thoughts, you find a solution.

To write is a therapy, it gives some space for your thoughts to rest and you feel you’ve let go of a load from your head to a diary or just a piece of paper. As kids, a lot of us may get this from our parents to maintain journals or write daily diaries and things like your “journal is your best friend”. But trust me here, it really is. As adolescents, we don’t usually maintain it cause we’re so carefree about life and there’s not more to think about than completing our classwork. But as adults, we have the pressure of the world inside our heads and it’s great to express it. Coming back to “a journal is your best friend”, you can tell the thing literally anything. You can express your emotions more than ever and things you can’t even tell your closest people.

Writing gives you the power to think straight, not because you express yourself to a diary, but because it makes your mind free and gives you room to think right.

It helps to keep a tab on your emotions, thoughts, and ideas. From my experience, it’s a bountiful. To keep track of your thoughts and emotions makes you learn from them about what makes you joyful or distressed.

To write things down just makes execution easier. Take this to be an example. The article I write here was also just a thought that came to my head earlier last week. From this being just a thought, I’m here sharing it with a platform with millions of users.

Feel a thing? Grab a diary and write it down.