I Did a Boudoir Shoot…..and I Liked It.
Tags: Boudoir Photography, Perimenopause, Body Positive, Photography, Self Love

In the time between scheduling the shoot and the actual day, Shannon was wonderful with providing me with information that she shares with her clients about how to prepare and even gave me suggestions on what to bring and what to wear. Due to my body changes, I went about the business of purchasing a new outfit for the shoot and also planned to take a nice matching bra and panty set I had recently bought. Every once in a while my nerves would get the better of me. I have NO IDEA how to be or look “sexy.” I have friends who post phenomenal selfies all the time. Shannon posted pictures of her prior shoots and they were always gorgeous and I just couldn’t see myself being up to that level. I even had the thought, “Ugggh, wish I had done this when I was 35 and my body wasn’t such a mess,” but again, I was committed and worked hard to push these thoughts out of my head. The night before, I made sure my outfits and make up were together and was ready to set off to her house for the shoot the next morning.

I got up early the next morning to drive the 2 hours to her house. She was jumping up and down when I arrived and she gave me a big hug. She was still working on her prior shoot and left me on the couch to hang out until she was finished. I don’t know if I could say I was nervous as in shaking or feeling sick or anything like that, I just still didn’t know what all I had gotten myself in to! When it was my turn, she ushered me into a back room that she had turned into her studio. There was an air mattress, candles and other props she uses for her shoots. She left me alone to change into my first outfit, a lacy red halter nightie that hugged my body and stopped just below my behind. I instantly loved it when I ordered it and was hoping it would work out well for the shoot. I put on my make-up and heels and we got started.

It takes a great deal of confidence to be willing to expose yourself and your body in this way, especially with someone you have not met in person before. Knowing someone on Facebook is one thing, but you never really know if who they are online is going to hold up in real life. Shannon absolutely was who I came to know on screen, which made it so easy for me to relax in my “barely there” nightie and try my best to flirt with the camera. She gave great direction, but what impressed me most was her attention to detail: how much thought she put into what she was doing, how she was doing it, and the research she had done in order to achieve taking the best shot. My job (in theory) was easy: just maintain a pose. There was so much more involved that I had never thought about. For example, she did attempt several poses with me and she would take a couple of pictures and say, “Nope, that’s not working.” Seeing as how everybody is different, that then means every BODY is different. Some poses just naturally look better on some bodies than others. This also made me realize that’s why all models are tall, lanky stick figures: they’re bendy and can get into preferred poses more easily. To work with people, especially those who identify as women, of all shapes and sizes, you have to change your approach with the camera for each individual. You have to find the right angles, the right light, the right pose for THAT person. Shannon did that with me the whole time and I appreciated her so much for that. She wasn’t just trying to get a great picture for her portfolio; she was trying to get a great picture of ME. She paid attention to my body, my curves, my angles and movements and adjusted what she needed to in order to get the best shots. That was what was so amazing: it was truly a photo shoot tailored to MY BODY. It also made me realize many of those big time photographers who shoot runway and print models don’t have any actual skill at all. How do you show the skill of your art and the depth of your ability when you are just shooting toothpicks in the same poses all the time?

Suffice it to say, I had so much fun. We listened to ‘90s music, we laughed and just enjoyed the moment. She mocked me for saying I couldn’t look sexy and she showed me some of my pictures on her camera after she took them that made me say, “Damn!” Shannon took pictures of me in various outfits and poses for over 90 minutes. I loved every minute of it. She encouraged me by letting me know that they were turning out well and she was getting some good shots. I have this mental picture of myself just being awkward and goofy so knowing that I was doing well in a boudoir shoot did not fit how I identify myself…but that was the point, wasn’t it? Part of the appeal, other than getting over my feelings about my body, was for me to see myself in a different light.