Birth in the time of Covid
By: Madeleine Knowles
Tags: Covid 19, Pregnancy, Motherhood, Baby, Birth

My baby and me

I was 37 weeks pregnant and my husband, our two year old and I were keeping our distance and isolating. We hadn’t planned for this to extend to the actual birth of our second daughter, however in the crazy time of Covid-19 we brought her into the world, all by ourselves.

Antenatal classes via zoom, midwife appointments as telephone calls, birthing suites turned into Covid-19 isolation units and potentially the most terrifying, giving birth without your partner at your side. It’s been an odd time to be expecting.

Birth plans have had to be thrown out the window and thousands of families have undoubtedly had challenging births. I wanted to share mine because it has been strange, and incredible, and at times really, really hard. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this and experiencing it.

My first daughter was a pretty speedy delivery, flying out 30 minutes after the taxi arrived at the hospital, so we were always expecting a fast second labour. I was advised a home birth, should we go on to have baby number two, so this is always what we planned.

Hearing the news that the home birth unit in my area had been disbanded was therefore a huge blow. I was faced instead with the prospect of a hospital birth, where my husband would only be allowed at the actual labour, and uncertainty about what we would do with our two year old. So we booked a private midwife and prepared for our home birth.

Two and a half weeks early, my waters broke in the evening, followed shortly by contractions. I hoped for a quick night birth, with our baby arriving before our two year old woke up.

But by morning my contractions had lightened so I got up and went on with the day, letting my midwife know that things were slow and steady. By 11am the contractions were intensifying but manageable and for some reason I texted the midwife to say this, rather than calling her and asking her to come over.

An hour later we meant to call but my daughter needed a poo, then I needed to make her lunch, and then boom, the contractions changed and I needed to push.

To cut to the chase, my husband and I delivered our daughter on the kitchen floor, five minutes before the midwife arrived.

I was strangely calm through the whole experience, having hormones and instinct on my side, I just knew to get down on my hands and knees and push. Things were harder for my husband who had fear and disbelief running through him, not being helped by our two year old who was at his side, upset and confused by what was going on. He told me later that his fear was because he was so worried about doing something wrong or not knowing what to do if things got difficult.

But they didn’t, on one contraction her head came out, on the next contraction her body, and my husband managed to catch her and pass her through my legs to me.

We did it. Somehow we had managed to bring a healthy baby into the world. The best way I can describe the experience was scary but incredible. I felt like I had this inner power, knowledge and natural ability that guided me. During it I was actually able to tell my husband that everything would be ok, and it was.

Would things have been any different in a non-Covid-19 time? Maybe not, our daughter would have been in nursery rather than at our side and maybe we’d have been more focused on our new arrival rather than looking after her, but our birth was definitely not affected as much as many others.

But it felt like it was part of the consideration process that took us to that point, and now post birth it’s having an impact. We are sad that we can only introduce our daughter to her grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins and friends over video, but at least we can do that. Not having any help with childcare has proved a bit of a challenge. At first we had to pretty much split our time across the children meaning my husband found it more difficult to get to know our new arrival and I missed time with our toddler. Now my husband is back at work, and I’m looking after both of them, which aside from being a bit of a juggle is more enjoyable than I expected.

And for all the women who have or are currently experiencing baby blues, I should say the feeling of being an natural earth mother did waiver. On day three my emotions took a tumble and I felt an enormous sense of guilt for putting my husband and daughter through the birth and found myself running through the morning again and again, asking myself why we didn’t just call the midwife.

But we didn’t, and what I’ve come to terms with is that it doesn’t matter. All that matters is our daughter has arrived safely and we are all well. And I imagine this is what is getting many of the families facing a birth through this. It’s not the birth we’d hoped for, but we all know it will be worth it, for the health of our children.

I have heard stories of such bravery from parents in this time of Covid-19, from my friend in north London who gave birth at 30 weeks and could only see her baby once a day, to my friend in Japan those husband won’t be allowed to be at the birth or see the baby for three days after. There are amazing acts of bravery going on in labour wards and at homes all across the world.

So to all the parents looking forward to their new arrival with anticipation. You will find your inner strength and it will be totally worth it.