21 Pieces of Advice for 21 Years
By: John Macaulay
Tags: Opinion, Self Improvement, Inspiration, Advice, Millennials

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A month ago, I turned 21. In my life so far, I have moved between more than 4 cities, visited five foreign countries, eaten everything from grasshoppers in Mexico to some of the best sushi in the world. On the less positive side, I have almost drowned three times, lost over 1,000 dollars in my “business” ventures and was even threatened by a man with a shotgun. Suffice to say, it’s been an interesting 21 years. Although I still know so little, I wanted to share 21 actionable pieces of advice I’ve learned along the way.

1. Don’t be a smart ass

Having committed this error myself countless times, I strongly advise against it. The biggest problem with being a smart ass beyond just looking like an idiot and making people feel uncomfortable, is the fact that at least some of the time you will be wrong. It may not be this time or the next time or even the time after that, but there will come a time. I think knowing this makes you more humble and makes you think more before blurting something out. My advice is the next time you feel the urge to be the “smartest one in the room” just stop and think for a moment.

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2. Avoid isolating yourself

It is very tempting to believe that our friends and family will stick around regardless of what we do. After all, they are always a text or call away. This has in my experience made me less inclined to accept invitations and/or go out of my way to spend time with these people. What I have learned is it’s much harder to make a new friend or mend an old friendship than it is to maintain connection over time. I am not saying that this is easy either, but it will help you feel good and make the people in your life feel appreciated. My advice is to stop right now and think of who your group of friends and family members is. If there is someone you haven’t contacted in a while, just shoot a message. I have gotten these messages myself and it is surprising how something so small can make a big difference.

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3. Have a backup plan

There is an expression we have probably all heard, “don’t quit your day job.” It’s usually used in a mean spirited way to discourage people from doing something they aren’t considered outwardly talented at. However, the expression has a grain of truth. Leaving/quitting/ or starting something completely new without a backup plan is not usually a good idea. I have done this several times and have almost always kicked myself for not having something to fall back on. The way I think of it, a backup plan is like insurance. You might never need it, but when something bad does happen it’s like having a parachute to cushion your fall. My advice is if you’re leaving something or starting something new, have a transition period. If you’re starting a business, try to keep working until you get your feet off the ground. If you’re moving to a new city, try to find a few people beforehand you can stay with for a little while until you find a new place.

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4. Learn the basics

Whenever I start something new, I am tempted to skip to the end or do the absolute minimum to get to the next stage. The problem with this is as with anything, the new is built on the old. I struggled with this early on in math. I was never very good at the subject and spent all my time trying to pass rather than understand the concepts behind what I was learning. What I figured out was you will have to continually look back or ask someone else for help if you don’t master the basics. My advice is to stop and see if there’s something you don’t understand before moving on. This might mean you spend weeks on one thing, but I guarantee it makes everything that follows much much easier.

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5. Save and invest your money

I know I’m just beating a dead horse here, but seriously save and invest your money now!!! The power of compounding is truly insane. The one thing all of us have is time, but so few of us use this to our benefit. Even if you put your money into low risk investments, you are likely to see your money grow a few percent a year. These investments will likely continue to build on themselves over time, especially if you avoid panicking when the market goes down. This is in my opinion so much better than buying a depreciating asset like a new car or something fancy you might only use once. My advice is to look carefully at your financial goals and start saving and investing even if it’s only a small amount.

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6. Buy things based on their value to you rather than their cost

I have made the mistake of buying things that are either the cheapest or seemingly best, based purely on their cost. Although, cost is not a bad way of evaluating the quality of something, it doesn’t take into account numerous factors: how much you care about the item, how much you use it, your other expenses, etc. This has been especially the case for clothes. I have drawers full of cheap clothes, but little to nothing to wear for special occasions like interviews, dates, or weddings. Looking back, I believe it would have been better to buy fewer but much better quality clothes. There are also external benefits beyond the cost to doing this. If you buy a good quality car, you may spend less in the future on repairs and maintenance. My advice is to look at the long term when buying things, especially if they’re expensive. If you believe those things will maintain their value in your eyes, buy them and if not, forget about them.

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7. Work on problems as soon as you notice them

In the same way investments helps us build wealth through compound interest, problems make things worse through the same principle. The problems themselves are often not insurmountable in my experience, but leaving them to fester is a sure way to make them that way. My advice is very simple here and that is to identify a problem as soon as it comes up and address it immediately. It is definitely a pain, but spending the extra time or getting help if needed can save you potentially years if not a lifetime of heartache.

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8. College is not for everyone

We were probably told this sometime in high school, but from what I remember almost everyone expected me to go on to college. There was little to no talk about alternatives like trade school, apprenticeships, or entrepreneurship to name a few. It was only about a year ago when I first even seriously considered those options. All that said, I am glad I am still in school but I definitely don’t recommend it for everyone, especially if your main goal is financial. Plumbers and electricians are high in demand and commonly make over 50,000 dollars. It is not to say I have not learned a lot in college, but I do often wonder if the debt I’ve gone into justifies the experience. My advice is to evaluate all your options ideally before college and take into account all of the costs associated with it, financial or otherwise. Only decide to go if those costs make sense to you and if it aligns with your future goals.

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9. Connect different parts of your life

I tend to see things as only having one function. That means you hang out with your friends to socialize, you study to graduate and then get a job, you travel to see new places, etc. However, I’ve found that life is a lot more enjoyable when you can mix these things together. You have an assignment and you use it as motivation to see your friends or you travel to a new place to meet new people. This also is economical as you start to see skills you acquire on your own or in the work world as applicable in many different fields. In short, my advice is to try to find the connections. If there is something you don’t want to do, try to connect it or use it as motivation for something you do want to do.

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10. Give activities you don’t like a “trial period”

If you’ve ever clicked on a link to try a new product, a 30 day trial may have popped up. This is an easy way for companies to get customers in the door and have them eventually buy the product either through a passive acceptance of the cost or a newfound interest after the 30 days. I think you can do the same in your day to day life. Let’s say you don’t want to go to an event. My advice is to try things out you may not want to do or feel uncomfortable doing. This might be giving yourself 30 minutes before you leave a social event or a simple task like saying hi to someone there. You may still leave, but that will motivate you to get out of your comfort zone and maybe you might even end up enjoying yourself.

11. Don’t make decisions purely based on emotion

I have an anecdote to share about this one. I used to walk dogs when I didn’t have class. One day, I walked a client’s dog at night and returned to his apartment to drop him off. I was greeted not only by him but an entourage of his friends looking like they were going to kill me. He told me his friend a few blocks down had seen me “yanking his dog” and demanded to know if it was true. My heart was beating practically out of my chest and my palms started to sweat. However, I calmly looked him in the eye and said “no sir, I would be happy to show you how I walked him.” I did just that and even waited for him to call his friend who had made the claim. I did this for over half an hour until he eventually decided his friend was wrong. I could’ve done a lot of things: yelled at him, run off, or confront him on the obviously baseless accusation. That would have almost certainly put me in danger and I’m glad I reacted the way I did. I’m not saying it is always possible especially in the heat of the moment. My advice is to take a second to calmly and logically assess the situation. You can acknowledge the emotion, but do not act on it.

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12. You don’t really know a person

This is more of a “truth” than a piece of advise but I wanted to include it anyways. People are so multifaceted and can appear one way while being practically unrecognizable in another situation. We tend to judge people based on very limited experience with them, both for the good and for the bad. We can’t always do something about this as sometimes we only have that limited time to make a decision be it in on an interview, a date, or in another social setting. However, we forget just how much we miss including how they were in other stages of their lives, the personal things they don’t share, or the way they act with other people. I have been shocked to see people I considered nice acting very rudely and vice versa. I used to believe those traits were mutually exclusive, but now for the most part I see how both can exist within the same person.

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13. Create a habit for yourself that you can stick to

Whether we see it or not, we all have a habit of doing things. It is something that happens practically subconsciously and yet that habit or habits end up ruling our lives. These are often unhealthy and include processes that we passively do instead of actively picking for ourselves. That’s why I believe having at least one good habit you can stick to makes a big difference. For me, this has meant walking every day at 5:30 in the afternoon for about an hour. It is nothing tremendous, but it’s given me a bit of structure and exercise as well as something to look forward to everyday. My advice is to pick something simple, enjoyable, and hopefully healthy you can do every day. Plan when you’re going to do it and stick to it even if you don’t always feel like it

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14. Overthinking can be worse than not thinking

As much as I believe analysis and logical evaluation is critical in our lives, it can become suffocating. The stress of the “what ifs” and the ever looming fear of failure is probably something we are all familiar with. Based on my experience of this, I would say overthinking is even worse than just doing something random in hopes it will work out. What happens for me is I essentially “overheat” like a computer with millions of possibilities racing in my head, but a feeling of paralysis that prevents me from doing anything. I have found that even just acting on the spur of the moment doesn’t always help as the proverbial “just do it” expresses. My advice is instead to narrow your ideas down to just a handful and giving yourself a time limit to decide. Additionally, try your best to work off what you already know about yourself instead of considering every possibility.

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15. Everything changes

Stopping changes you have no control over is at best pointless and at worst detrimental to yourself and others. I think of it like standing in front of a bus barreling towards you and believing you won’t get hit. Change comes whether you like it or not and will continue throughout your life. This will mean many painful moments, but also joy you didn’t know possible. The ebb and flow of life is part of what makes it so interesting, but also makes holding on to things very difficult. My advice is to balance out nostalgia with change. Keep a bit of what you’re familiar with and try your best to cherish it, but embrace change or at least adapt to it when you see it coming.

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16. Keep your things organized

I am a messy person, anyone who knows me would tell you that. Whether it’s leaving socks on the couch or my keys in my pocket, I have serious trouble keeping my things in order. This seems like a small thing, but has lead to me spending hundreds of dollars on things I’ve simply misplaced and losing important documents which are even harder to replace. It is also just less stressful to wake up and know where everything is beforehand. My advice is to keep track of what you’re holding or using and making sure to put it back before you do anything else. So if you just got home for example, hang up your keys before you go to watch TV, not after. The more time passes by the less likely you will remember.

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17. Success is often the exception rather than the rule

I love photography. I have taken probably 20,000 pictures in the past few years. I believe somewhere around 200 of them are pretty good. That means according to what I consider a success, only one percent of my photographs were successful. It is a cliché, but there is simply no way around failure. You have to keep doing and improving to even scratch the fruits of success. I know how easy it is to get discouraged especially after you spend months of your time and money on something with no tangible results. That is why my advice is to commit only to the things that are important to you. If you are embarking on a big project, make sure it is a priority and take small tangible steps you can measure and work towards. Without these two things, it becomes very easy to burn out and give up.

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18. Always find the other side of the story

When i was a kid, I was almost “puritan” in the way I saw the world. It was good and bad and I wanted to be on the “good side.” I made judgements on issues I didn’t totally understand and took sides when what I should’ve done was sit back and listen. The stories other people tell you and even the stories you tell yourself often only tell one side of the story. I don’t think this is always meant maliciously, but it leads to what I consider radical and often polarizing views on the world. When you listen to only one side of the story, the facts aren’t necessarily incorrect, but vital and often contradictory information is left out. My advice is to piece together a “middle ground” from your own perspective and the perspectives you’ve heard. If you don’t understand something fully or if you feel there is something off, stop and try to gain more information.

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19. Haggle a little bit

This is something I learned really late in life. Growing up in The United States, I didn’t even know haggling was ever an option. Whatever I was offered, I usually took and without question. I think this is pretty common for people who live in the Western World, but is something we can learn from the rest of the world. I’m not saying to haggle at a five star restaurant or undercut the price for something like bus fare. Those people are obnoxious. However, you can look for “deals” all over the place be them through coupons, discount stores, or at flea markets. You can also often negotiate with your credit card or service provider and see if they will match or even one up other deals you have found. You won’t always win, but when you do it feels amazing! My advice is to explore multiple outlets when you plan on purchasing something. Check Ebay or Craigslist to see if you can find the product or service at a cheaper rate and make your decision based on what brings you the best value.

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20. Set boundaries for yourself

Nobody likes to be told they’re overstaying their welcome or that they are making you feel uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s necessary to do just that. I believe setting boundaries based on your morals, comfort level, and what situation you are in makes life easier and more enjoyable. This also helps with assertiveness and confidence because when you know what you want and don’t want, you’re better able to convey that to other people. My advice is to be consistent about what you will and won’t do. Try to gently remind the people around you if you feel they are crossing your boundaries and ask others what they do and don’t feel comfortable with.

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21. Take a different path

You can take this literally or metaphorically, but take a different path sometimes. I often feel bored and agitated with my surroundings. I walk around through the same streets, to the same store, at the same time and do this every day. However, last month I decided to do something new. I had an extra credit project for biology and went to a beach I never went to and looked at tide pools I had never seen. Although the weather wasn’t great and it was a bit crowded, I saw a sea anemone for the first time and it was really cool! I also find it fascinating how these little changes are often more interesting than bigger more expensive ones. That’s why my advice is to find something little you can change, even if it’s just for a day. Do it without expectations and see how you feel and what you end up doing after you’ve decided on something .

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Thank you for reading!

J.M