The Mammy myth and what it really is like to be a white people’s caretaker
Tags: Equality, Women, Intersectionality, History, Race

Black women accommodate and adjust themselves to fit other people’s expectations. They adjust their tone of voice, looks, and behaviours; sometimes they even adjust their beliefs. This is their way to cope with the stereotypes that other people have created about them. For Black women, the crooked room is not just a race story, but about gender as well. They suffer from sexism in the Black community, and of racism in the feminist movement. To understand Black women’s behaviour means to understand how they accommodate and make sense of the crooked room.

Even though there is no one universal Black woman experience, researchers of their experience have identified three stereotypes they have been boxed into: Mammy, Jezebel, and Sapphire. These three are painful and common, persistent racist and sexist assumptions to which Black women are reduced to.

The myth of the Mammy, Jezebel, and Sapphire are not just popular jokes and funny representations of Black women. They are representations that determine realities. They have the power to shape how Black women perceive themselves.

The Mammy myth depicts Black women as a servant, happy to put her master’s needs before hers. This was a character created by White people as a response to critics of slavery’s harshness. The character was used to show that Black women were actually content with their lives. The Jezebel myth is the promiscuous stereotype which portrays Black women as sexually insatiable, available, and sluttish. This character was created during the slavery period as a way to justify sexual abuse towards enslaved Black women. The Sapphire is also known as the “angry Black woman”. An irrational and emasculating woman, always expected to be negative and angry.

These stereotypes show how crooked the room for Black women actually is. They limit their existence to these prescribed roles, and are used as a way for other people to exercise power over them and invalidate their experiences. In the coming articles I will dig deeper in these stereotypes, and reflect on my own experience with them.

I have a close example of a Black woman who was reduced to the Mammy myth. My mother was a domestic worker for a great part of her childhood and young adulthood. She was seen as a second class citizen and was stuck in a world that always presented more barriers between her and her betterment. This affected her self esteem, but she didn’t let it define her, at least not completely. I interviewed her as part of my research for this article. I hope you use her learning, challenges, and resilience as a source of inspiration on how to move forward. I know I did. Before that, I’d like to elaborate on the mammy stereotype; where it comes from, why it exists, what it looks like, and the truth behind it.

The mammy stereotype was designed to reassure and comfort white people

The mammy myth has its roots after the abolition of the slavery. During slavery the most common myth for Black woman was Jezebel. This myth of the “insatiable breeder” served an economic purpose: children born from enslaved people were property of the enslaver. The myth helped justify the sexual abuse and exploitation they were victims of. Once slavery was abolished, the breeder Black woman was of no use for former slave owners. So they had to reimagine the relationship with their Black servants, and especially with Black women since they were the ones doing domestic labour inside their households. White people needed to be reassured that their proximity to Black women was not going to endanger their home stability. That’s how the asexual and devoted servant came to be, and they named her “mammy”.

The mammy was big, fat, dark-skinned, and unfeminine. This stereotype was intentionally designed by white people (probably women) to be unattractive. This way white men would not fantasise about them, or prefer them over their white wives. The mammy was always happy. This reassured white people that Black slaves were content and they enjoyed being their servants. However, there is more behind the myth than meets the eye.

The Mammy was depicted as asexual, not only for white people’s reassurance, but because of the latent danger under which they worked. Their ‘asexuality’ served as a defence mechanism. After slavery the main job available to Black women was as domestic workers. This brought them close to White men, who until just a few years earlier were their legal owners. Many of these White men believed in the Jezebel myth stating Black women were promiscuous. This put Black domestic workers in a vulnerable position, and many were victims of rape. The ‘asexuality’ mask was a way to cope with the circumstances, and to respond to the vulnerable position they were in at their workplace. Normal expressions of femininity such as wearing make up, dating, or wearing revealing clothing was a way to reinforce the myth of Black women’s lust. The opposite of that, hiding their human and female sensuality, was the only way to be perceived as respectable.

Mammy’s were depicted as an altruistic, trusted advisor, who put the needs of the family she worked for before her own needs. According to the myth, their love and devotion was only for the white women and children she worked for. Although exaggerated, it is true that the Black domestic worker divulged nothing of her personal life. But this apparent lack of self interest was another way to cope with the oppression in which they lived. By not revealing anything about themselves, Black women created a psychological safe-space that was free from the scrutiny of the white families for whom they worked. This self-imposed invisibility was another coping mechanism to survive in a hostile world.

After the abolition of slavery, the main job available to Black women was domestic labour at white households. This lack of opportunity created the sadist belief that domestic work is natural to them, and that it is the only contribution they could bring to society. This was a way to justify the continuous oppression they were submitted to. Even though domestic work is how society saw Black women, it wasn’t the way they saw themselves. But standing straight in a crooked room is difficult for everyone.

Domestic work was the only thing society had to offer Maya and those who looked like her

My mother’s story is a testimony to how to stand straight in the crooked room. I’m going to refer to her as Maya.

Maya was born poor without knowing it. Poverty was not only economic, because despite the shortcoming, food and housing were available in their small town. She was born into the poor mindset of a misogynist and patriarchal environment. Her father believed that women didn’t need to know how to write, let alone go to school. By the age of thirteen she didn’t know how to read, and that depressed her so much that learning to read became her obsession. She convinced her mother to let her go live with an aunt in another town, where she was promised she could attend school. She left her parent’s home and was soon working at her aunt’s home doing the house chores. However, the promise to go to school never came true.

She rebelled and left her aunt’s house that same year. She moved to the city, where she was soon employed as a domestic worker. At the age of fourteen she was eligible to go to evening school where she could finally learn to read. Cleaning other people’s houses was not her only skill, let alone her desire. It was her only option to survive and to have a minimum level of safety.

As a child worker she was exploited. Her work never stopped. She stayed up until 03.00am ironing clothes and had to be up at 05.00am to prepare breakfast. She would take care of other people’s children because it was part of her job. She wasn’t attached to any of them. It was always a job, and the moment she left that house she would also be forgotten.

Once she reached her goal to learn to read, Maya didn’t conform and continued to finish high school. She was always searching for a way out of domestic labour, and didn’t stay in one place for too long. But domestic work was the only thing society had to offer her. She tried looking for jobs as a cashier at a supermarket but they refused to even give her an application form. Her options were always reduced to either prostitution or domestic work.

Maya was strong and resilient. She didn’t allow any passes from the men in the houses she worked at. If an awkward move was made, like the time a man creeped in her bed while she slept, she didn’t hesitate to leave that house. However, she always thought that this mistreatment was ‘normal’. She saw it as something that happened to those who were as unprotected and alone as she was.

She also came across good families that treated her with respect. She was never happy though. She knew inside of her that her circumstances were not a reflection of who she was. After finishing high school, she continued her studies to become a secretary and to work as an assistant accountant. However, her condition of being a Black woman with no support always kept her behind. She would go to interviews and they would offer her cleaning jobs, while she wanted to be a secretary. But, “what else would they offer you when you look like a cleaning lady?”, she tells me. Maya was tired of seeing all of her friends from school move forward, and she was frustrated about being stuck in the same place. She decided to go back to her hometown and explore opportunities there, now that she had a high school diploma to back her up. She became a school teacher and started her own family.

After having my sister and me my mother passed her goals and dreams onto us, and we tried to keep the torch lit and always make her proud.