Popping the Christian Bubble
By: Dan Foster
Tags: God, Spirituality, Christianity, Religion, Faith

Popping the Christian Bubble

The Danger of Trying to Protect Your Kids From The Big Bad World

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In 2013 a UK school teacher was sacked for failing to complete a risk assessment before pruning a bush at her school. If you think that’s ridiculous, then you would also be appalled to learn that the Welsh Ambulance Service refused to take this man’s 95 year-old Aunt to hospital for a basic medical procedure because of the potential health and safety risk posed by the three front steps of her house.

Whether we like it or not, we live in a society that attempts to manage risk, analyze it, reduce it, and ultimately eliminate it. Prior to 1970 seat belts were an optional upgrade in cars in my home country — Australia. I happen to think seat belts are a good, sensible addition to cars by the way, but these days my child has to be in a specially fitted — and downright expensive — child restraint until he is seven years old. I’m pretty sure at the age of seven I was riding in the back of a truck — unrestrained of course.

You don’t have to look too far to see that we are into reducing risk to a point that sometimes defies common sense. Nearly every product on our store shelves is labelled with fine print absolving the manufacturer of liability. Reader’s Digest published some examples of the plethora of stupid warning labels that you can find on products. Some would have to be seen to be believed. For example:

“Not intended for highway use” — On a wheelbarrow

“Not intended for use as a dental drill” — On a carpenter’s drill

“Do not use for drying pets.” — In the manual for a microwave oven.

“Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.” — On a portable stroller.

“Do not iron while wearing shirt” — On an iron-on shirt pattern

“Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.

“Warning: May cause drowsiness. Use care when driving a car” — On a brand of dog medicine

“Do not use while sleeping” — On a hairdryer.

Then we have the phenomenon of Helicopter parenting. You have probably heard about helicopter parents who hover over their children to keep them safe from every conceivable danger. They keep a vigilant eye on their little, and not-so-little ones, protecting them from virtually everything. Helicopter parents try to shield their children from not only physical danger but from failure and negative consequences of every kind.

Protectiveness, and indeed, over-protectiveness has become a way of life in our culture. Now, an argument can be made that much of it is, on balance a good thing. But, according to Dave Kinnaman in his book, You’ve Lost Me, spiritual over-protectiveness is actually driving young people away from the Church.

Photo by Aaron Greenwood on Unsplash

Inside the Christian Bubble

Does the church prepare young people for a life of risk, adventure and service to the world? Or are we trying to churn out safe, nice, compliant Christian kids huddled in their sheltered Christian homes, too frightened to step outside and engage with the world beyond the church? According to Kinnaman, wrapping your kids in spiritual cotton wool might actually result in the opposite of what you are hoping for.

Kinnaman’s research shows young adults who have left the church identified the factors as reasons for their departure:

34% said the church’s tendency to demonize everything outside the church was a factor

31% said that the church ignore the problems in the real world

27% said that Christians are afraid of pop culture (especially movies, music and video games)

18% said the church squashes creative expression and another

18% said they are involved in social causes that the church just doesn’t seem to do or say much about, like protecting the environment for example.

In short, many young Christians feel overprotected. Millions of young believers perceive that the church has kept them fearful and detached from the world — a world mind you, that they are called by faith in Christ to help, to serve and to change.

There is a great irony in this. You see, being a Christian was once so dangerous that at the Nicene Council, an important church meeting in the 4th century A.D., of the 318 church leaders who attended, only 12 had not lost an eye or a hand or did not limp on a leg lamed by torture for their Christian faith. Those were the days!

Walk into your average Sunday service these days and take a look around at the young people there and most likely they will look bored. Young people are drawn to risk, challenge and adventure, but these things are often discouraged in the local church. Instead, many congregations offer a safe, nurturing community — an oasis of stability and predictability. Studies show that women and seniors gravitate toward these things. So not surprisingly such congregations are over-represented with women and seniors.

Richard Rohr, in his book, “From Wild Man to Wise Man,” says it like this:

“Real spirituality should emphasize movement over stillness, action over theory, service to the world over religious discussions, speaking the truth over social niceties, and doing justice instead of self-serving. Without this, spirituality becomes characterized by too much inwardness, a morass of unclarified feelings, and religion itself as a security blanket. This prevents a journey to anyplace new, and fosters a constant protecting of the old. It is a no-risk religion, just the opposite of Abraham, Moses, Paul and Jesus…”

As long as we present the Christian faith, inaccurately, as something less than the great, challenging, risky, dangerous, treacherous adventure that it was meant to be, we sell out. And young people will find their adventure elsewhere.

So What Can We Do?

Try to keep your kids inside the Christian bubble at your own peril. According to Kinnamen though, if we want young people to engage with Christian faith then we will not achieve this by being hyper-protective and demonizing everything outside of the church bubble. Rather, we must resist our tendency towards over-protectiveness, and turn it into opportunities to develop wisdom and discernment — modern people call it critical thinking.

Demonstrate Compassion

Over-protectiveness characterizes everything and everyone that is not Christian as evil but discernment helps young people understand that other people are not our enemies, but that there is fundamental brokenness in all humans — including ourselves — and we should overwhelming treat people with respect and compassion.

Model Cultural Exegesis

Over-protectiveness makes strict rules about media consumption. It avoids watching, reading and talking about current events and popular culture and hopes that it will just go away. But, as famous theologian Karl Barth once said, discernment reads the Bible and the newspaper. Rather than steering clear of secular music, movies, websites, books and TV shows, why not watch, listen and read together and then do a cultural exegesis together. Ask the question, “What does God think of this?”

Stop Oversimplifying

Over-protectiveness oversimplifies the tough stuff of life — suffering, failure, relationships and offers formulas and glib catchphrases instead of honest answers. But discernment is honest about the hazards of being human and teaches that life is complex and messy and Christianity offers a framework by which to understand that mess — though not completely because in reality, there are many questions that simply have no answers. We must learn to accept mystery if we are to become spiritually mature.

Encourage Responsible Risk-Taking

Over-protectiveness discourages risk taking and uses fear to protect the next generation. But discernment guides young people to trust God fearlessly and follow Christ’s call to reach and change the world in positive ways. This means taking seriously Jesus’ words when he says, “If you try to hang onto your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it” Are we willing to embrace this truth on behalf of the children that God has entrusted into our care?

Photo by Gianandrea Villa on Unsplash

Time to Let Go

What if God is preparing the next generation for great exploits in his name? What if a new renaissance of mission could be realized in this generation? Is our preoccupation with safety keeping our children on the sideline? Or are we willing partners in preparing them for what God has planned?

Jesus knew how to call young people. Think about it. He called 12 young people — his disciples — to come and follow him, and they dropped their nets and went. But have you ever considered that 24 parents let them go? Not one of the parents said, “That’s too risky, too dangerous, just plain ridiculous. What about you future? What What about your family? What about your safety?” Each parent understood that sometimes the best thing you can do is pop the bubble of spiritual safety that put around our kids.