I’m a Professional Cuddler: this is how it works
By: Betty Willow
Tags: Cuddle Therapy, Professional Cuddling, Cuddling, Therapy, Professional Cuddler

I’m a professional cuddler.

That’s exactly what it sounds like. I’m paid to cuddle.

It’s definitely not a mainstream job, but I’ve found that it works really well for me.

When I first heard about cuddling and a specific site that could be used to connect with clients, I was intrigued and signed up immediately.

Although I had some initial apprehension about how it would work, I very quickly found myself navigating the cuddle community with relative ease (especially compared to most jobs I had in the past).

*Please note that although I relay my experiences as truthfully as possible, I do change minor details to protect the identity and privacy of my clients.*

What exactly cuddling entails

Cuddling refers to sharing intimate but platonic touch.

Holding hands, hugging, and curling up together are all things that might happen during a cuddle session.

Kissing and sexual touches are strictly off-limits.

While the particular comfort area may vary depending on the cuddler, I personally choose to enforce that my clients may not touch me in any place where my bra or underwear touches me, other than my back. I also have a preference that they do not touch my face.

There are many cuddle positions to choose from, and it depends what the client’s preference and comfort level is.

Often, I will offer to give my clients back, shoulder, and neck massages, and sometimes they reciprocate!

Photo by Clayton Robbins on Unsplash

Cuddling is much more than physical touch, though. The conversation is usually just as important.

Many clients want to be able to make an emotional connection, especially the clients who will be seeing me on a regular basis. They want somebody who knows enough about them that they can share their struggles and triumphs during each of our sessions.

In this way, I serve as somewhat of a therapist. At the end of the session, many of my clients express that I have helped them get through some really tough times.

More than a therapist, though, I think I fill the role of friend and companion for a lot of my clients, as evidenced by the fact that I’ve had cuddle sessions where clients request that we watch movies and shows, eat meals together, listen to music, do couples yoga, and play chess.

I’ve even had several clients fall asleep and take a nap during their session as we’re curled up together! It not only makes things easy for me, but it makes me feel like I’m doing a good job if they were so relaxed that they nod off!

Why cuddle

Physical touch is really important for most humans.

For some people, physical touch is their specific love language. If they don’t receive it, they don’t feel like they are valued. It truly is a basic human need for them.

For others, the need for physical touch may not be quite as urgent and vital, but it is still a basic need that needs to be satisfied at least occasionally for most of us.

A lot of people are able to satisfy their need for physical touch with a romantic partner or even a friend, but some people do not have that privilege. For this reason, cuddling sessions have arisen to help satisfy that need.

Photo by Marco Bianchetti on Unsplash

In addition to the sense of wellbeing and comfort that many people get from cuddling, there are definitive chemical reactions that take place in the brain when cuddling.

A cuddle session can activate the part of the brain that is involved in learning, decision-making, emotions, and social behaviors. It can relieve pain, reduce stress, soothe depression, and give the immune system a boost.

Hugging can even reduce someone’s susceptibility to a respiratory infection!

Another study highlighted the ability of physical touch to soothe fears about mortality and help people with low self-esteem.

One of my clients actually told me that his therapist recommended that he try meeting with a professional cuddler!

How to find clients

There are several different websites that connect cuddlers with each other. I signed up for a few when I first started. The benefit of those sites are that many of them have safety measures, and they make it very easy for clients to book with you. The downside is that different sites take different percentages of your pay, but in every case, I have still ended up making significantly more money per hour than I ever did in the food service industry or even as a teacher!

By chance, I’ve managed to also find several recurring clients outside of those sites, either through social media or through real-life acquaintances who know that I am a cuddler and want to book a session with me.

What a session looks like

A little prep work goes into setting up the first session. After the client makes their first contact with me, I spend a little time communicating with them to establish expectations and boundaries.

Once we start to establish a rapport, we schedule a session.

Photo by Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

On the day of the cuddle session, I make sure that I shower and brush my teeth close to the session so that I am as clean and fresh as possible.

If I am hosting, then I also make sure to change my sheets and pillowcases. If my client is hosting, then I make sure to leave home with plenty of time to arrive at their location.

When we greet, I usually read the client’s body language to gauge whether I should initiate a hug right away or first warm them up with some friendly conversation before exchanging touch.

As we climb into bed or onto a couch, I make sure to reinforce my boundaries and ask if they have any specific requests or additional boundaries. I’ve had some clients who are very timid about touch at first and are not comfortable with jumping right into things, but most clients are eager to get straight to cuddling.

First-time cuddlers are usually pretty shy and might have questions or want to talk a bit more, but usually the cuddling begins within the first 5 minutes.

The rest of the session is up to the client. A standard session will involve at least some conversation as we cycle between different cuddle positions. I mentioned in the first section some of the other activities clients have requested.

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

My average session length is two hours. I have a lot of clients who book me for one hour, and I have several who like to see me for two or three hours. Occasionally I will get a longer session than that and have done a few overnight sessions, which proceed as a normal session but with some sleeping mixed in with the cuddling.

At the end of the session, I collect payment from the client and we go our separate ways.

If the client has hosted the session at a hotel, they may first need to accompany me to the parking garage and pay my parking fee.

If I hosted, then I immediately change my sheets and pillowcases again and take a quick shower.

Assuming that all went well and the client is local, then I will probably hear from them again soon to schedule the next session!