13 Surprising Ways Opposites Attract Like Magnets
By: Mari Colham
Tags: Relationships, Love, Lifestyle, Psychology, Dating

13 Surprising Ways Opposites Attract Like Magnets

Many people believe that couples who share the same hobbies, personalities, skills, and career interests stick together for life. Still, there is proof that opposites attract with a love that never ends.

Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

Is it possible for opposite partners to maintain happiness and love in their relationship? I believe it’s true because I’ve witnessed it with my own eyes in both sets of my grandparents, who remained married and deeply in love until their deaths. Science also proves it. According to the Myers-Briggs test, people draw closer to those who have opposite personality traits.

Thirteen ways to know for sure that opposites can attract and maintain a loving relationship for life are:

1. Your partner is mannerly, and you’re the wild kid.

Imagine an intelligent, smart, and mannerly man who works in the medical field with a young woman who was a wild child throughout her years. She has a strong sense of humor, has lived through harsh life experiences only to overcome them, and works in the legal field. She’s also a few inches taller than him. His ambitiousness, honesty, loyalty, intelligence, gentleness, maturity, and respect is a significant turn on for someone like her. She may also remind him to enjoy life now and then and embrace the feeling of fun and humor.

Joseph Cilona, PsyD., a licensed clinical psychologist in Manhatten, explains, “Many important aspects of relationships, especially personality traits, needs, and preferences are a much better fit when they are opposite or complementary, rather than similar.”

2. An introvert and extrovert balance out each other.

An introvert may never feel like socializing or going out, but the extrovert can fuel the desire to go out now and then. On the other hand, an extrovert feels like going out frequently but will learn to enjoy and love relaxing days at home with their introvert. It eventually becomes a balance.

3. You don’t care what other people say or think, are madly in love with them for who they are, and have nothing to prove to anyone.

Everyone may ask, “What do you see in him/her? He/she’s not attractive. He/she’s too old/young for you. You have nothing in common. It won’t work!” Listen to your heart instead of seeking the approval of everyone else. You know you truly love someone when they are opposite of you, you can’t stop loving them or thinking about them, and you’re sincere about your feelings. Some people date the wrong person to prove to their families or friends that they have an open mind or spite them. It’s crucial to recognize that you’re dating an opposite person sincerely for yourself and not for spite.

4. You’ll embarrass each other but find them adorable.

This one reminds me of both sets of my grandparents. Both of my grandfathers were tall men, and my grandmothers were incredibly petite. My mom’s dad was the wild child, the social butterfly, spoke his mind, had an extreme sense of humor, and my grandma is an introverted, quiet, and shy book nerd. My dad’s dad was business-like, proper, and mannerly, and my other grandma was an outgoing, tomboyish, and sassy little spitfire.

The way they teased and embarrassed each other in front of us never ended, and it was an expression of their love toward each other. They were significantly different, but their passion and attraction to each other remained the same, even in old age. As I look back through my childhood and teens, I’ve recognized the same “wild child” traits in my maternal grandpa and paternal grandma in myself. In my recovery from trauma, I’m gradually and gratefully becoming that “wild child” again.

5. You’ll add to each other’s strengths.

In the beginning, an introvert and extrovert can be shy and nervous around each other. Then, the socialite eventually begins talking and cracking jokes quite a bit. The extrovert teaches the introvert ways to communicate and have a little fun with the conversation. Another example is an introvert who loves to comfort their partner by physical and emotional touch. The extrovert might have always recoiled at cuddling, but their introverted partner will show them the art of love in that way to help them feel comforted.

6. You’ll love learning their views and respect them.

When you truly love someone, you develop mutual respect without arguing. Both of you may have different political views, but you respect each other’s boundaries and opinions without forcing each other to do anything. When you both have mutual respect out of true love, your relationship has the potential to last a lifetime.

7. You’ll start practicing some of their characteristics and habits.

Every person changes through time, and it happens more often in couples who have different characteristics. You may admire one or more of your partner’s habits and begin making them yours. Implementing their practices can lead them to have more patience with you, and you’ll also enjoy it.

8. You’ll complement, not complete each other.

No one on this earth needs another person to feel whole. You’re the only one who can make yourself feel that way. On the contrary, it’s a beautiful thing when you have another person to enhance you, and you have many differences.

Examples of great opposites are:

He’s short and has trouble reaching things, and she’s tall and can reach almost anything.

He’s a cuddler, but she has never felt comfortable cuddling. He shows her the comforting feeling of it, and she gradually begins to love cuddling with him.

He’s the serious, mannerly, organized, homebody, and she’s the funny tomboyish thrillseeker who gets him out of his shell now and then.

9. You’ll develop an open mind to learn and try new things.

Although you and your partner may have many differences, the extrovert can awaken the introvert’s inner child. For example, let’s say that the introvert hasn’t had a pet since he was a kid. The extrovert has a pet and shows the introvert how it felt to have a pet. The introvert will most likely adopt one too, form an inseparable bond with it, and feel more than grateful. The introvert will also love explaining why his pet may knock over the food or water bowl and show him prevention methods since she has had long-term experience raising a pet. The extrovert will also enjoy learning the “proper” ways of the introvert.

10. Your patience will grow.

As the couple learns their differences and adapts to them, there will be times they can irritate each other. No relationship is perfect, and that’s where their devotion, true love, and patience get tested. No marriage or relationship is ever simple. Although my grandparents loved each other deeply and were significantly different, there were times they got on each other’s nerves. Their tolerance of each other increased as they spent more time together, and their love and compassion grew through the years.

11. You’ll become less judgmental and more understanding.

There’s no doubt that you’ll be less critical of other people when you spend more time with someone who’s much more different than you. Both will develop a new way of thinking and behavior that connects you closer. After acknowledging your differences, you’ll be more patient with each other and the people around you.

12. You’ll become more spontaneous.

Dr. Joseph Cilona says, “When it comes to romantic compatibility, many people first think of similarities. While similar traits can certainly increase romantic compatibility, it’s not always the case and can backfire for some couples.”

It gets boring when you date someone who shares all the same interests as you. I’ve been there. You do everything together, it becomes the same routine, and it gets boring. It’s like you’re dating yourself and always expect the same things each day or week. Every date night is Netflix and chill, dinner, and sex. It gets old fast, and expectations start to get unmet. A spontaneous partner does the unpredictable and spices up the relationship.

13. You’ll embrace each other’s differences and encourage them.

Having too many similarities can create problems because you’ll begin worrying when your lover does something different. Frequently, it causes couples to attempt controlling each other due to unmet expectations. You’re more motivated to do something different when you don’t have as many things in common. You love each other’s differences, and both of you remember that those differentiating characteristics are what pulled you together like a magnet in the first place.

Worlds apart attract each other beyond control like a magnet.

It’s a fact that opposites attract, and these couples have the potential to maintain a fulfilling relationship for life. Their passion is like a blazing fire. It’s not about being with a person who has everything in common with you, works in the same field, or has the same personality. A loving and passionate relationship is all about loving what makes you unique and having an open mind.