Stop Being Micromanaged
Tags: Personal Development, Management, Startup, Leadership, Self Improvement

The Right Way to Work With a Micromanager

You can either be a wishful thinker and wait for your manager to change, or you can employ your critical thinking skills and take charge of your experience at work.

Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. Visualization adds value to everything. A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in the future. He isn’t stuck with the present . — David J. Schwartz

Working with a difficult boss shouldn’t drive you crazy or make you succumb to their way of doing things.

Shift from problem to problem-solving and trigger a solution mindset by employing these practices to bring about a positive change in your relationship with your boss.

1. Reappraise their behaviour

Whenever your manager tries to micromanage you, instead of getting irritated or trying to resist the behaviour, take a step back and reassess it. Ask them questions that will help you understand their intention better.

Asking good open-ended questions to your manager with an intent to collaborate can provide them with an opportunity to look beyond themselves to how others perceive their actions. It can even help them to evaluate alternative ways of achieving the same outcomes.

If they are constantly asking for updates, engage with them by saying something like this: “I understand we need to deliver this project on time. I can assure you that I’m on top of this project. When and how would you like me to share updates and concerns? This twill help me organise my time better and focus on achieving our shared goals.”

When they’re involved in discussing minor details, humour them: “I think it will be a waste of your time to discuss these minor details and I hope you can trust me to take care of them. I would like to make effective use of your time by discussing other large areas where you may have concerns. What questions do you have that will be worth discussing now?”

By stating your intent clearly and using a positive tone, you can force them to think and act differently.

2. Establish standards

Reappraising behaviour is a more passive, in-the-moment approach. It can help you to shape desired behaviour whenever you notice your manager demonstrating micro-managerial tendencies.

However, an active approach involves establishing standards to align with the most effective ways to collaborate with your manager. Take some time to work out details in each of these areas for yourself, then set up some time with your manager to discuss them:

Establish goals . What do you need to achieve?

Clarify expectations. What does success look like individually and as a team? If your manager is a perfectionist, defining quality parameters in the beginning will help you align on the expected end state and avoid frustration and rework later.

Set boundaries. Make sure there are some decisions you can own completely,without your manager being involved. Use a positive tone and remind them of the value of their time if they want to be involved in all decisions.

Sharing progress. What does your manager need to know and why? What are the best mechanisms to share progress — when and how? Discuss potential downsides to sharing progress too often and how you can use that time to make progress on your work. Throw in the word “trust” multiple times in the discussion to remind them that you’re capable of handling the task.

Seeking help. Comfort them with the knowledge that you are going to reach out to them in case you are stuck on any task or need their help to make progress. Asking “who else can help” can provide them with an opportunity to recommend other team members who might be well suited to unblock. The idea is to shift their focus from “I need to be involved” to “who else can add value?”

Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don’t exist and to hope things will work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations . — Stephen R. Covey

An active discussion like this will help you gain a better understanding of your managers’ mindset and a peek into what causes them to micromanage you.

By having such discussions regularly and constantly reminding them of the best ways to operate together, you can realign their tendencies to micromanage and help shift to more effective management.

3. Create an illusion of control

If your boss is a micromanager due to their need to feel in control, you can make things worse by taking that sense of control away from them.

Instead, by creating an illusion of control you can get the much-needed space without making them feel powerless.

Make them part of the change by helping them believe that it’s their own idea and show them how it will add value to the team. The language that you use plays a very important role in enabling this change. Shift from simply asking questions to seeking advice on specific issues:

I know you would like me to utilise my time effectively. I work best when I do three to four hours of focussed work without any distractions which involves no emails, messages etc. Do you have any suggestions on how I can achieve that at work and be more productive?

I’m trying to build my critical thinking skills by learning how to make effective decisions on my own. I know it takes time to build this skill, but I’m ready to face the challenges and take complete responsibility for the outcomes. I want to learn from my mistakes to do better next time. With your trust and support, I’m confident I will grow in this area and help the team with future responsibilities. From your experience, how do you suggest I go about building this skill?

4. Reinforce positive behaviour

Think of it this way — your boss is a human being too who needs feedback just like everyone else. Without this feedback coming from their own team members, they will have a hard time knowing when they are crossing the boundary from “helping their team” to “making them feel helpless.”

Reinforcing positive behaviour is a smart tactic used by all good managers to help employees understand which specific behaviours are useful. You can also employ it with your manager.

At first, it may be intimidating to think about critiquing your own manager, but you can do it with a little practice.

Whenever you see your boss do something that makes them an effective manager, call it out:

I really appreciate the trust that you showed on [….]. It helps me do […]

I was able to pull this project on time due to your support in […]

I was able to spend my time productively as we agreed upon by doing more of […] and less of […]

5. Open new lines of communication

Without making an effort to show that you care about your manager, their priorities and a willingness to contribute in a manner that helps them be successful in their role, anything that you say about their behaviour can potentially backfire.

Your manager may say that they are open to feedback and encourage criticism, but just like other human beings they will have a hard time connecting to reality without believing that you have their best interests at heart.

People almost never change without first feeling understood . — Douglas Stone

That comes from building trust . Take time out to understand your manager — what’s on their mind, what makes them stress out, and what do they really care about? This does not mean that you give in to their micromanager behaviour. It simply implies that you take an action only once you have spent sufficient time in learning about them better.

With time, you will know if they are open to criticism. Take the opportunity to talk to them about the specific behaviours, how they impact you and what changes can be done to help you work better together.

In some cases, discussing the specific issues with your manager’s boss may also help. But, you should do this only after you have made an effort and given sufficient time for things to improve.

In the end, the whole thing may be a flop. Some managers are indeed too difficult to work with and despite all your efforts, nothing may change. It’s best for you to decide if you should try to change your team or even consider an opportunity outside.