Mentoring for the future in reverse
By: Gill Wildman
Tags: Young People, Founders, Strategic Design, Desinger, Mentoring

My meeting with the poet was arranged. To be honest I was slightly nervous about meeting her, and whether I was ready for her. What kinds of encounters might we have? Where might our conversations go? I had no idea at all.

I had arranged some Reverse Mentoring with Rising Arts — this is a process of a young person mentoring a more senior one. I had pestered them for a long time after they mentioned that they were thinking about doing it for professionals. They were going to train up some of the diverse young people they work with — just as they do for board membership — to mentor older people.

“Gifts make room, Clear Space.” Malizah

I see her in the zoom square and she is all smiling warmth, and this starts well. I arrived at our first meeting with a question that had been forming in my head for a little time: how can I be a good elder? As a veteran, a senior and highly experienced strategic designer/facilitator/creative how might I act and focus on this next stage of my life, especially if I want to add something? This first session was the unpacking of that question.

As a friend recently said: anything you do is your twenties is cool and if its not cool, then its easily ironic. At later years what you do can so easily be only dull…

Photo of Malizah by Ellie Pipe

So, meet Malizah, the poet, millennial specialist, writer and deliverer of thrilling rhythms, and hypnotic precision workings that open up emotions you never knew you had. If you see her work, you can see and feel just how much emotional and life intelligence she brings to her work and performance.

Its interesting that there are so many kinds of elders. Above: https://flickr.com/photos/rashidasimmons/

Starting with what we thought an elder is or does, she told me her version — of the person in church who passes you a treat, or opens up new things. I had only a tiny inkling of what I meant, and with a much clear image of myself in the past — passionate, challenging, tricksterish, and now and the future with less clarity. In my mind, elders are much older than me, frail or wise, receiving care, or handing out treasures, usually still and highly ponderous. All of the great cultures treat their elders with respect, and have clear roles for them. What version of this would work for me, and what relationship to the sense of future responsibility I have? In or conversation together we walked through how an elder acts with care, and guidance where appropriate — a presence to that supports younger people to be seen, and to open up how they might make the value they bring tangible.

Here is another that I know well.

Our second meeting focused on a new sub-question: How can I make space for others, and when should I get out of the way? We moved through my role now to challenge and stand for those not represented (yet) in spaces where I operate. We spoke about building and setting up new opportunities. By session three we dug into authenticity and genuineness in how I conduct myself, clarifying the internal indicators we all have through self-sensing when it is and is not genuine. And we do know the difference if we stop for a moment. We shared how to be mindful of how we might come across, and to check for that. We discussed how accessibility for others not like us is directly connected to their expectations ( from our instructions and communications) as to what is going to happen, what they need to do to be a part of something, and what they feel they can and can’t do.

We ended these four sessions by landing the idea of an elder as supporting others’ sense of self and their worthiness. By making opportunities for them and finding new ways to support them with small and accessible ways of sharing hard-won experiences in stories and sharing in spaces where they are.

Just a little time with the Poet. She opened up a space for me, just as I do for others in my work and so rarely get a chance to do for my self. This was a precious gift, that I am very grateful for and has catalysed lots of small changes and new thinking. Our Upstarter micro fund (below) is the first of these.