Becoming Good Enough
Tags: Help, Confidence, Self Improvement, Meditation, Mental Health

Some of us do live these dramatically overwhelmed lives in our head, especially when we compare ourselves to others and declare ourselves as less-than. Social media apps flooded with elated selfies of Beckinsale-lookalikes does not make things easier.

It is easy to go all Ted-talk and declare that we must develop a gigantic self-esteem that makes us choose to be a proton every moment of our existence over an inferior, underconfident version of ourself. Practically implementing this positive optimism, especially when it does not come naturally, seems more challenging than scaling K2 wearing flip-flops.

But..

There is good news for people who are finally sick of being habitual self-deprecators in their minds.

Here is the thing. The window of gloom, despair and overwhelm of being the weird one or less-than never lasts forever. I believe it lasts for not more than a few hours at a stretch in the worst case scenario. Think of that feeling of low self-esteem, inferiority complex and fomo as a runny nose. When you have it, everything is grey and miserable. Even the bright sunshine and butterflies remind you of phlegm and allergies.

Then, one day, you wake up and the runny nose is gone. Just like magic, you start seeing the beauty around you. You start enjoying food again. You can talk and walk once again without the overwhelm and the spiral thoughts of ‘What’s wrong with me?’. This feeling of joy may last for a day or a week. It feels amazing and is worth the wait. You operate at your best efficiency out of gratefulness for a dry, normal nose.

Cling on to that feeling. This gratitude is the elixir that has the power to bring out the best in you. Get work done in that short window of optimism and energy. Use that spike quickly before it escapes again.

If you are feeling horrible right now, try this exercise. Come on! Humor me.

Close your eyes. Gently withdraw yourself from the judgemental thoughts. Visualize yourself stepping out of your body. You are standing outside, observing your clone self as if you are looking at your reflection in a beautiful, antique mirror. Spend a few seconds breathing deeply and looking at your clone self. Pay close attention your face, expression, hair, the clothes you are wearing, the arms, hands and feet. Imagine yourself vividly saying out loud in an assuring and strong tone, “It’s ok! I will help you get through this. I have got you!” Repeat two more times and notice how you feel.

Take three deep breaths and open your eyes.

Make a list of things you want to do in your phone notes app or a paper and keep it aside for later. If you are up for it, write all your thoughts and feelings out of your system as a purge.

Now, patiently wait for that inexplicable and elusive window of feeling ‘normal’ and grateful. Pounce on it as soon as it appears. Take advantage of this temporary glitch in the settings of your brain. Spend time loving, knowing, and caring for yourself whenever you are able to. It does not matter if self-doubt and self-pity are default settings owing to years of thought patterns and habits. Enjoy the glitch. Take a breather. Nothing is broken and there is nothing to be fixed.

Work and plan around your feelings and moods by instead of dwelling on what is broken inside of you. Irrespective of how harshly you judge yourself, deep down you know you can handle your brain’s shenanigans.