How You Can Relate to Anyone, Be it a Billionaire or a Homeless Person
By: Sarib Saif
Tags: Personal Development, Limitless, Equality, Freedom, Self Realization

How You Can Relate to Anyone, Be it a Billionaire or a Homeless Person Sarib Saif Follow Dec 17 · 5 min read

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A milkshake with toppings looks more delicious than just the milkshake. But do we consider the toppings a part of the milkshake? No, because they wouldn’t be called toppings if they were a part of the milkshake. Milk, on the other hand, is considered an integral part of the milkshake.

In the same way, people with expensive possessions might look better than people who don’t own expensive things. Should we start looking at possessions as a part of people who own them or are people just their values and beliefs? The right answer to this question can inspire modesty within us while also liberating us from our self-imposed limitations.

We often tend to think that people are their possessions. It might look like this isn't the case. But hear me out.

Why else would we think we are better than others because we have a bigger house, more money, and more cars?

If it doesn't sound like you or you think you see everyone as equal, it is because you consciously recognize your privilege and always try to treat the less fortunate as your equals. But the story doesn't end here.

The belief that we are our possessions also manifests in another way. We tend to think that others are better than us because they have more. If it seems hard to believe, tell me:

Why do we become overwhelmed or nervous when we see or talk to someone who is super-rich?

Why do we see billionaires as a completely different species?

Why do we find it hard to relate to billionaires?

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When we ask ourselves these questions, it becomes clear that we believe people are their possessions. This belief might be hard to identify if we don't ask ourselves the right questions because it is rooted deeply in our subconscious.

When we see billionaires as unrelatable individuals, we think they are different from us because they have so much money. We assume that they are their money. That’s the only explanation of why we would find them unrelatable.

If we look at this belief closely, we can see it’s a double-edged sword. By seeing ourselves as better than those who own lesser than us, we are hurting them. But we are also hurting ourselves because we now see ourselves as inferior to those who own more than us. We can easily see that this belief doesn't serve us.

We can use the analogy of a milkshake and toppings to understand it better. We tend to believe that we are the toppings i.e. we are our possessions. And if others have more toppings than us, it means that they are better than us. Conversely, if we have more toppings than others, it means we are better than them. The reality is that we are just the milk i.e. our values and beliefs. And so is everybody else.

Do you know why we are not the toppings? One can take away the toppings from the milkshake but one can’t take away the milk from the milkshake. Our possessions can be taken away from us. We can lose our house, money, and cars at any time. But our beliefs and values can’t be taken away from us because they are a part of us.

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Milkshake with toppings tastes good. So do our lives with cars, money, and house in it. Rather than thinking that we are what we own, we should be grateful for the things we own. We shouldn't start looking at them as a part of us.

We can remind ourselves that we are just the milk by asking simple questions, Am I my cars? Am I my house? Am I my money? Am I my clothes?

Answers to these questions seem so obvious that we might think it’s ridiculous to even ask these questions. But despite these answers being so obvious, our attitude and behavior don’t reflect our understanding of these answers.

The next time you find yourself judging someone because they own fewer things than you or nothing at all, or you struggle to see someone apart from their possessions, ask yourself: Am I my possessions? And are they their possessions? This will immediately put things into perspective.

The next time you find yourself getting overwhelmed or nervous upon seeing a super-rich person or not being able to relate to the billionaires on talk shows, ask yourself, Are they their money? Are they their cars? Are they their mansions? Are they their branded clothes and accessories? You will immediately realize that they are just their beliefs and values as are you.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” ― Gandhi

Once you realize this simple yet big truth, you will see it has twofold benefits. On one hand, it will ground you. It will make it easier for you to relate to the less fortunate and see them as your equals.

On the other hand, it will elevate you. It will make it possible for you to see billionaires apart from their billions. It will make it easier for you to see them as people who are their beliefs and values just like you.

And more importantly, it will make you realize that you too can achieve your big dreams because you are essentially the same as them. The only difference between you and them is of values and beliefs.

The moment you realize this, your beliefs will begin to change for the better.