At the Heart of White Supremacy and Inaction.
By: Michael Cleveland
Tags: Better Communities, Timothy Patrick Lloyd, Humboldt, Do Better, White Supremacy

These last few days have been mentally and emotionally taxing for me. I admit that anything I have written here previously has come from a place of deep-seeded anger, but I do not want to have to be angry anymore. Yes, remembering the morning of September 3, 2020 still causes me to feel a ball of indignation swell inside my chest; my heart still aches to see the hateful and hurtful messages and signs so casually strewn about the center of a community I have based most of my life around. The thought that my partner, the mother of my child, had to go to work and face that degree of despicable rhetoric on her own. That I had spent the better part of three years away from home for work, a personal sacrifice made meaning I was away from my family and friends. I had hoped that when I returned home, it would be the way I left it.

The graffiti which covered the entrance that someone I love very much had to use to enter their workplace.

Living in rural Saskatchewan, it is no secret that race often brings up difficult conversations and heated debates. I never thought I would live to see the day that this type of rhetoric espoused would appear in Humboldt; for some reason, I thought maybe we were lucky, and those types of views were not fomenting here. I was wrong. Or maybe I just did not want to admit that I always had a sneaking suspicion that it would rear its head; maybe I just thought that our communities and their denizens held themselves to a higher standard than holding on to divisive, destructive — inhumane — ideologies. An ideology that has condemned millions to pain and death only because of their skin colour, their sexuality, their religion, their culture, so on; so many of these variables deeply rooted in a person’s being, unchangeable — but each characteristic what makes us all so uniquely human.

Words cannot begin to convey the disappointment leading into anger that these images are able to conjure.

I will admit that when I tried reaching out to people to mount a response to this disgusting attack on our community, the reception was not as engaging as I would have hoped it should have been. Where were our fellow community members? Where were other voices, other than mine, demanding a promise from our elected representatives that this rhetoric would not be tolerated and that we would put the work in to do better in the future? That we would strive to break down our lines of division? For four months I tried to raise awareness to the silence; instead of people reaching out the silence simply amplified. People I spoke to regularly began to fade from my (albeit) digital, pandemic daily life. Did I push people away with my anger? Do people not see the level of anger and frustration that comes through the keyboard? And it really is that simple; I let my anger do the driving. The truth is, I do not want to be angry anymore. All I want is for people to understand — to understand why we do not shrug this rhetoric off and why it is alarming when it is not immediately condemned. Because if I fail to get you to understand that, then it simply means that my nightmare — and the nightmare of countless other members of our communities — has come true. That history is repeating itself and unfolding before our very eyes. Fascism does not simply happen overnight but comes in small repeating doses until we are unable to recognize its arrival. I do not know how many more times I can repeat that when these messages of hate begin to appear in our communities, they must be relegated to the trash bin of history where they belong. To ignore the potential harm that this rhetoric brings is to forget the countless dead that lay in its wake. To forget that is to forget the value of our humanity.

What you allow is what will continue.

And I know that this may come at the cost of some credibility for myself, especially amongst the growing left-wing presence here in Saskatchewan, but I do not want to expend one more ounce of anger towards Timothy Lloyd. What he did was reprehensible, yes; his name will live in infamy through the original report in the Humboldt Journal without needing me to dole out anymore on it. Proverbially, he has made his bed and now he must sleep in it. I hope nothing other than that Mr. Lloyd can get out and away from the white supremacy movement, because it will take him no where productive. It will do nothing but bring devastation and harm to all of our communities. The neo-tribalism, the ideas promoted by whatever organization he may loosely be involved in — I hope he asks himself, are these beliefs really grounded in reality? Or are they a force of manipulation, drawing disenfranchised individuals into a conflict that is not their own? I hope that he can one day, hopefully soon, see beyond the smoke and mirrors put before him in the form of white supremacism and make an escape.

Silence speaks far-greater volumes than any other potentially ineffective approach.

I cannot be angry over it any longer, but I cannot give up my anger without making one simple demand of my community members and neighbors: do better. Acknowledge that racism exists here in our own neck of the woods and work tirelessly to ensure that it and all the other isms that seek to divide us are not given the chance to take root. Never stop learning, never stop listening to the smallest voice. To our elected officials, do more. There is no room for views like these on any platform touting freedom of speech; why give them freedom if they would not give it to those of us who would speak out against them? History has proven, time and again, that appeasement does not work and ends with the greatest cost to life. All I really wanted was a sign that I was not the only person who saw the danger in these messages.

None of this is comfortable. It was never intended to be. Discomfort is part of the process.

I am tired, and I do not wish to mount this crusade any further. It should not fall on me, alone, to carry this struggle forward, but I should be able to rely on those around me to pick up the fight when it needs to be. It is only through strong communities built on solidarity with one another that we will see the threat of white supremacy defeated. We cannot do this alone, as it is the antithesis of our struggle. If you value the community, fight for it, and do not let the darkness win.