Homecoming
By: Garrett Yung
Tags: Covid 19, Parents, Aziz Ansari, New Jersey, Homecoming

The last time I lived in New Jersey for longer than 2 weeks was in the Fall of 2013. I had decided to take a job with Johnson & Johnson in Skillman, NJ during the fall semester of my Senior year of college. Since then I’ve lived in 3 different states and have traveled across the country and having the privilege to be able to call each new city “Home.”

Recently a friend had asked me, “How did you know when you were ready to leave?” She was referring to me leaving Los Angeles for Seattle. But it was a similar conversation that I have had a few times in my life. All referring to one group of friends asking me how did I know when I was ready to leave what we all knew and move to a place where I didn’t know what was to come. New Jersey, Maryland, California, Washington- these are the places I’ve lived but this blog isn’t about those places yet.

The conversation with with my own parents and coming to terms that while they have been 100% supportive of every thing I’ve done as an adult, I could tell that they were facing the reality as I slowly enter my late 20’s and eventually 30's- will I eventually move back home? I’ve tried to think about it from their perspective.

“Well he’s young and in his 20’s- he’ll do what he needs to do and he’ll come back. “

What have I been chasing? Is it because I’m chasing new opportunities and trying challenge myself to embrace the unknown and be outside of my comfort zone? Or is it rather a mask of fear of stability and close relationships, and running away from addressing my insecurities? I’m sure it’s a bit of both to be honest. And while my intention is to not make this a dark story, I want to be reflective that the experiences and people that I’ve met in each of my new cities have been priceless and I’m forever grateful.

But I haven’t returned home at this point. Coming home for the holidays every year for 2 weeks doesn’t count. When I first decided to move to Los Angeles and coming home was officially a 1–2 times a year pattern, my motivation was to see my grandparents, to whom I owe everything. Being raised by grandparents is a HUGE part of my upbringing and makes me who I am today. They passed away within a year of each other in the last few years. You can’t live a greater example of what true Love is than that. And their foundation that they set for me wasn’t obvious to me as a teenager but is very clear now as an adult. My grandparents set the moral principles for me of how to trust and be supportive, where my parents were the motivators who challenged me to be better, often times as I struggled.

Knowing that states were opening up again and that I have no obligation to return to the office until October as of now, I bought a one way ticket back to New Jersey and will be home for an indefinite amount of time. I could do an entire exercise of the pros and cons of going home during the current environment but at the end of the day, it just feels right.

Aziz Ansari highlighted this dilemma with his parents in his comedy special Right Now. This is what spoke to me as I was deep into by Netflix binge five weeks into Covid life.