The meaning of NO is not forced yes.
By: Tushar Punjabi
Tags: Rape, Consent, Sex Education, Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment

“Jis masoom ko dekh ke mann me pyar umad aata hai,

Dekha usi ko mann mai kuch ke haivaan utar aata hai.”

(Translation: A child whose sight evokes love in heart, some think of evil while gazing at her.)

An emotional poem penned by the judge of Rajasthan while sentencing a man to death for raping an 3-year-old.

Did you know this incident? No, you KNEW this incident and have now forgotten the same. 91 cases a day, 2730 in a month & more than 33000 in a year, how many will you remember? How many days will you be on road for protests against the government demanding justice? How many candles will you burn?

Justice for Nirbhaya took 7 years, more than 2,31,000 were already raped by then. Nirbhaya, Kathua, Asifa, Unnao, Hathras are just a few to be named with whom the nation stood, raised their voice and demanded justice, but what about the rest 91 victims who are being raped every day?

You like to hear stories right, now read one more. A man called a lady gynaecologist and told her about the pregnancy of his wife, hesitantly he also said that his wife has a little girl inside her and later requested the doctor for an abortion, the doctor asked if there are any complications or issues, the man clearly said that there were none but still they wanted an abortion because it was a girl. This raised the temper of the doctor and in a harsh tone she told “I know you need a boy, and this is the reason for the abortion” to which the man replied “No, I needed a girl, but now I’m scared that she’ll get raped”.

There was a time where girls were killed inside the womb saying the family cannot bear her expenses, the family cannot pay for her dowry and marriage. And now there is a time where people are scared to welcome a baby girl just because of the fear of her being a victim of rape. There was a time where parents worried about the safety of their girl when she enters teenage or when she’s young and now there is a time where even an 8-month old is not safe. And, those who tell that rapes happen because of the type of clothes they wear, then please let me also know how will you make an 8-month old wear a saree.

People encourage the slogan “Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao”, but why are we already stating that girls are not strong, girls are not so educated and there is a need of someone else to save them and educate them. Why don’t we encourage slogans like ”Bete ko banao aur mard banna sikhao”. Teach your boy, boyfriend, brother, or even husband the meaning of NO, teach them the meaning of RESPECT, teach them the meaning of CONSENT and teach them the meaning of LOVE. And make sure we never tell anyone that girls are less than boys, because when you tell this to someone, somewhere in your mind you already have a thought that yes girls are less than boys.

Oh wait, why are we even talking about this, we are happy with our Hindu-Muslim fights, we are happy with the Bollywood drug stories and what not. “I am the youth of this nation”, indeed the most shameful sentence I can say after hearing these kind of incidents. Youth for what? Burning Candles? Standing against the government? Gaining media attention? Or to forget things after few months?

It is high time we realise that we are capable of doing something more than protests, creating violence and burning candles. It is high time that we teach our boys that the meaning of NO IS NOT FORCED YES.

“Agar ab bhi na sudhre, toh ek din aisa aayega, iss desh ko beti dene se khud bhagwaan bhi ghabrayega”.

(Translation: If we don’t change the way we are now, then that day is not far where even God will be afraid to bless this country with a girl.)