I Lick My Techer And The Beast Dancer
By: Reija Sillanpaa
Tags: Teacher Stories, Teaching Life, Christmas, Teachers, Christmas Cards

I Lick My Techer And The Beast Dancer

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The times are very bleak at the moment, with Christmas cancelled and the new strain of the Corona virus spreading fast. I thought I’d try to bring some lightness and humour to you all by sharing my two favourite Christmas cards handmade and hand-delivered by pupils.

The Destiny Of Most Cards Is In The Bin

Each year teachers receive Christmas cards from their pupils. Most of them are of the shop bought variety with messages for the ‘best teacher’ or simple ‘Merry Christmas’ greetings.

It’s nice to receive those cards, and I put them up in the classroom to show the pupils I appreciate them.

Although I would appreciate a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates even more. Actually scrap the chocolates, and just go with the wine. Bottles of (preferably excellent quality) wine are most welcome and always go to good use over Christmas holidays.

But the cards, on the last day of term, when the children have gone home, the cards come down and go in the bin. If I didn’t throw them away, then after fifteen years in teaching, I would have drawers full of Christmas cards from pupils.

By the way, the same thing happens with the end of the year ‘thank you; cards. And many of the presents get recycled or some really rubbish ones end in the bin with the cards. Sounds harsh, but that is the reality of it. Otherwise I would have cupboards full of ‘best teacher’ mugs.

There Are Some That Get Saved

However, now and then I get a present or a card that is worth keeping. Like the Glen Medeiros CD a pupil obviously stole from her parents’ CD collection. Or the half used bottle of perfume that smelled like it had gone out-of-date years ago.

In truth, I didn’t keep the perfume as I worried it might be so fermented it could explode. But I kept the Glen Medeiros CD. Can’t say I have listened to it, but I still have it somewhere in a box of memories.

Both of the above presents came from the same girl. I think she had seen the other pupils give presents and wanted to do the same. My guess is that her parents said no, so she resulted in thievery. Which sadly was a trait she got from her parents since they once stole the head teacher’s laptop from his office.

Clearly they were not the best of thieves as they were quickly rumbled and had to return the laptop.

As well as keeping some of the best or most memorable presents, I have also kept some of the best cards. These are usually handmade cards with little or no intervention from adults. They come from the heart and often come riddled with spelling mistakes. And that is what makes them funny and worth keeping.

The Best Christmas Cards I Have Received

Today I’m sharing with you the top two cards. The card on the top holds the runner-up spot. It is brilliant in its simplicity. I Lick My Techer.

I shouldn’t really find the spelling mistakes amusing since the pupil was in my year 6 class, which makes her 10-years old. Spelling lick instead of like should not be happening anymore in year 6. But it did, and it’s funny.

Here is my all-time favourite Christmas card from a pupil.

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It might not be the most Christmassy looking card. With the bunny, it would be more suitable for an Easter card, but since I received it at Christmas time, it counts as a Christmas card.

The pupil who gave me this card was not in my class, so I can’t be blamed for this pupil’s poor spelling skills.

I used to run an after-school dance club, and she was a pupil from another year group who attended the club. Hence the reference to beast dancer.

I much prefer being called the beast dancer than the best dancer. It has a more authentic and somewhat dangerous ring to it.

You also got to love her phonetic attempt to spell my last name, Sillanpaa. I could see how it might turn into a slapper. Again misspelt with just one ‘p’.