Hiraeth- CHAPTER 1
By: Yanaal Madani
Tags: Fiction, Storytelling, Hiraeth, Fiction Writing, Soulmates

“Dylan, can you grab my shoes for me real quick? They’re in the shoe rack!”. I closed my laptop, put it on the desk and went downstairs. I stood in front of the rack, but she has so many shoes that I couldn’t even guess which ones she needed. So I asked her: “Which ones do you need, mom?”. She responded quickly. “The green ones, honey!”.

I sighed and turned around. “Mom!”, I shouted at the closed bathroom door. She opened it and giggled. Her white hair was half curled and she was still holding the curling iron in her hands. “I’m sorry, I just keep forgetting! The ones with the bow on the back.” I grabbed her shoes from the rack and placed them before her on the ground. She looked up at me and smiled.

“Dylan, I’m truly sorry. You know how excited I am for your birthday. It makes me say stupid things.” I leaned against the wall and smiled back. “I know, mom. I’m just as excited as you. Can you imagine what all those colours must look like? Of course, you can.” She put away the curling iron and took my hand. “I just keep thinking about her. I am eager to know what she looks like, how she talks, what she wants to be, and all those things. I am curious to finally be able to see real colours. Not just black and white, but also other colours. I am excited to know what real love means, or what green looks like.” I closed my eyes and sighed once more.

“But what if I don’t find her. What if I fail, mom? Will I live alone forever? I don’t want to live the rest of my life, knowing I messed up the only opportunity to find my true love. I just can’t do that.”. I opened my eyes again and stared into hers. “It’s normal to be afraid, honey. You’re not the only one who’s scared. I bet Aaron is just as afraid, huh?”. I laughed and stood up straight. “He probably is. He always acts tough, but we all know that deep down, he’s just as nervous as us. But anyways mom, you should get ready.”, I said, as I gently pushed her back into the bathroom. I threw a glance at my watch. “Dad will be here any minute now.”

She picked up her curling iron and went on with curling her hair. I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. I drank my glass and felt Baxter’s head rubbing against my leg. I kneeled next to my dog on the ground. He sniffed my hand and put his head on my lap. I stroked his black fur and got carried away again. I imagined her standing right before me, with short black hair, or wait, no, long and curling white hair. She would have dark eyes and smile at me. I wondered what her name would be. Did her parents also give her a special name to remember their Hiraeth?

I leaned back with my head against the kitchen table and thought back about the story my parents once told me. I was only five when I asked them what my name meant. I was lying in my car shaped bed, with my favourite toy next to me and Baxter as a puppy curled up at the end of my feet. Mom had tucked me in and dad had just finished his bedtime story. Right before they left they both kissed me on the head. “Sleep tight, Dylan.”, mom said.

That’s when I asked them: “Mommy, what does ‘Dylan’ mean?”. Mom immediately smiled and she and dad sat down next to me, on each side of my bed. Dad started his story. “When your mommy and I had our Hiraeth, I lived right here, in Toronto. Your mom, on the other hand, she was quite hard to find. She lived in America, in Miami, to be specific. But a few weeks after our Hiraeth, I realised that one of her hints led to the Miami beach. So I took the shell she had laid on my bed and drove for over twenty hours from Toronto to Miami. But it was worth it. Because once I arrived, the beach was almost empty. I wasn’t wearing a watch, so I walked up to the nearest lifeguard to ask what time it was.”

He smiled and looked over at mom. “And then I saw him. For the first time in my life, I saw your dad. He walked up to me and I noticed something fall out of his pocket. I stooped to pick it up, but when I saw that it was my shell, my heart stopped. He saw the look on my face and we immediately knew. As the sun was setting behind us, we fell in each other’s arms. And when we looked up again, the first colour we could see, was the colour of the sea. Navyblue. And that’s how we got your name, honey. Because Dylan means son of the sea.”

Although five years old me did not yet understand everything they said, it was always comforting to see the love that my parents cherished for each other. It was almost a sign for me that said: don’t worry, Dylan. You’ll find your true love one day, just as your parents did. And now, twelve years later, I finally understand the power of that story.

“Hi, Dylan! Are you sleeping?”. Dad popped his head around the corner and smiled at me. I opened my eyes again and carefully stood up, making sure not to wake up Baxter. I heard dad knock on the bathroom door. “Leah? Are you done, darling?”. The door opened and mom stepped through the door frame. I could feel dad holding his breath when he saw her. She was wearing her black evening dress and her white necklace was shimmering in the light of the sunbeams coming through the bathroom window. She spun once in front of him and beamed. “How do I look?”. He took her hand and placed a kiss on it. “You look exquisite.”, he replied. From behind his back, he took out a white flower and gave it to her.

She blushed and I felt my heart warming up. This is the kind of love that I want, I thought by myself. Dad ran his fingers through his shiny black hair and pulled his white shirt straight. Mom put on her shoes and dad held the front door for her open. “Have a great night!”. Mom stepped in the car and before dad closed the front door he asked me: “What time is Jared coming?”. I looked at my watch and said: “He’ll be here in less than twenty minutes. We’re gonna watch a movie and play some games. Nothing special.” He grinned at me. “Yeah, sure! Nothing special, I know what that means. Just make sure that you don’t stay up too late. You guys have school tomorrow.” I sighed.

“Dad, I’m almost eighteen, remember? I’m not a kid anymore!”. He looked behind him and mom beckoned him with her hand. Dad looked at me again. “You said it yourself, big boy. Almost. Well, I gotta go. When we get back, you guys better be sleeping.” I rolled my eyes as he got in the car. He looked back at me one last time and winked. I laughed by myself and closed the front door.



I was glad that Jared could spend the night. I needed my best friend now more than ever. Although he wasn’t concerned with the same issues as me, I needed to talk some stupidity out of his head. Let me enlighten you. Jared and I had been friends for over six years now. We met at a comic book store, next to his school. One year after we met I switched schools and went to his. I was getting bullied at my old school and Jared had been there for me, convincing me that a new school and new friends would do me good. Well, he was right. On my first day at my new school, he introduced me to his group of friends: Mia, Everleigh, Aaron, Levi and Clarice. It clicked immediately between us, and we started hanging out as one, big group of friends.

But then Jared met Aurelia at his work. He was working his weekly shift as an employee at Burger King when she came in with some of her friends. She somehow convinced him that she was his soulmate and they started going out. They have been dating for almost two years now. Even though his friends, his parents, literally everyone around him tried to talk him out of his fantasy, he didn’t want to hear about it. To be honest, I didn’t even care about her. All I wanted was to protect my best friend. Because I knew that within a few weeks, they would both find out that they weren’t each other’s soulmates. They would both be so heartbroken, I didn’t want to see Jared like that. Neither of us wanted that. He didn’t deserve that. We all hated Aurelia for giving him false hope because she was so toxic for him. The best part is that she knew it, that’s why she never wanted to hang out with us, which we thought was just fine.

But anyway, tonight I wanted to convince Jared to let her go. I just didn’t want to see him broken, and for him to have missed the only opportunity to find his real soulmate would be the actual end of him. Because right now, he wasn’t even making the slightest effort to find her. He was absolutely convinced that Aurelia and he were made for each other. Literally everyone in our group, even Aaron, had made preparations by now. Whether it was saving money for eventual trips to another country, getting a new set of paper and pencils to draw the place we were going to since we couldn’t take actual pictures or just train our long term memory, to make sure we wouldn’t forget anything, or something else, everyone had done something. Everyone had made one preparation, while he was running around being in love with Aurelia. Fortunately for him, his parents and older brother Mason have saved some money for him and have made some preparations for him. The lucky bastard should be thankful for such a family.

I shook my head and went to the kitchen. I took out some bags of chips and was about to put the chips in some bowls when the doorbell rang. There he was. I threw the bags on the couch in the living room and rushed to the door. When I opened it, he was soaking wet. Apparently, it had started raining outside and I hadn’t even noticed. “Are you going to let me inside, or do I need to sleep outside today?”, he asked jokingly. I took a step back and let him pass through. He threw his bag on the ground and kicked his shoes off.