Should We ‘Manage’ Abusive Customers?
By: Sam Finlayson
Tags: Mental Health, Conflict, Customer Service

Conflict isn’t something anyone wants in their day to day lives. Watching the news would suggest otherwise, but as people, we are just trying to get through the day, most of us just want peace. The pandemic brought some positive things, fewer people out and about meant nature got a breather, we learned that we valued people more than things. Community spirit was borne out of necessity, but has become a part of our daily lives.

However, workers everywhere have noticed an increase in frustration and abuse from customers since the start of the pandemic. The abuse workers in supermarkets, call centers and all customer service roles have had to endure is getting beyond a joke. These workers showed up regardless of what was going on for them, put themselves on the line squashing the worry they felt during what was arguably one of the most stressful times of some peoples lives.

Working in a call center makes managing conflict more difficult not just because you have to gauge someone’s feeling through tone, but people don’t think of you as a person. They seem to believe we are a faceless robot somewhere out in the ether. We are used to people being frustrated, angry, worried or sad and for the most part, understand why and are able to put ourselves in others shoes. Lately, there has been a change in behavior with people becoming more and more abusive. Many companies will choose to educate their staff on how to manage difficult customers.

I have no real issue with training, but why does training like this leave us feeling like somehow we are to blame? There are all kinds of great hints and tips, however, we are being told to modify our behavior. Are we the only problem in this scenario? My question is this: what is being done to address the customers abusive behavior?

Why are we sitting on the phone/in a restaurant/supermarket/care job accepting being screamed at for 15/20 minutes, being told you are a bitch, cunt or arsehole. Then, once we raise this as an issue being told not to take it personally?

If our children or any adult in our lives spoke to us like that, would we think ‘aww it’s not personal, they will run out of steam soon’ no we wouldn’t, we would hang up, would call it out for what it is: unnecessary and out of order.

As a consumer, we understand the frustration. Getting angry at situations we are put in by businesses time and time again. Since when was this the green light to scream and swear at people? We are told that we never know what is going on in someone’s life and that’s true, but we are human beings too right? We also have lives outside work that are impacted by difficult situations. We don’t call a call center or go to Tesco and scream abuse at them, why would we. Right!!!!

So why are businesses at times almost allowing their staff to be treated like this? Do they understand what 8+ hours a day dealing with these people really looks like? Do they care or is the recent mental health awareness movement paying lip service to the real issues faced at work?

Social media plays a part in the first question with most businesses rightly terrified of the reach and speed negative posts and feedback can have. People are already predisposed to share negative experiences, but social media has ensured these have reached beyond what anyone could imagine.

The other part of the first question is the answer to the second: people at the top of businesses have really stressful and difficult jobs. They look at the strategic part of the business. They know what the job specification is for each job we have but don’t understand specifically what staff actually do. They have to spend endless hours looking at statistics, not people, so have little empathy with workers feelings. As long as targets are met everything is good. Right?

They probably wonder why people aren’t just grateful to have a job. We are, over the last 2 years, especially people have lost jobs at a staggering rate so it is great to still have one. Is the cost to our mental health worth it?

Mental health awareness in the workplace has become more at the forefront of many businesses as they understand that not only the physical can affect someone at work. Ensuring staff know that businesses are starting to take mental health seriously is only the first step. This needs to be backed up, partnering with services to support staff is a great start, but it is also about managing customer expectations and the consequences of bad behavior.

Make it clear abuse will not be tolerated, that the well being of your staff is a priority to you because if you do the positive far outweighs the negative. Understand that having loyal, well trained, hard-working staff is the key to enhancing your business. Look after your staff, in the main these people are the foundation and if you have a solid foundation only good things can grow, for you, your staff and your customers.

If you are a customer who has called a call center, went into a supermarket or restaurant and taken your shitty day out on someone else, remember these are human beings with feelings. They may very well be going through stuff so take a breath and treat them how you would like to be treated and don’t be the asshole.