Almost Around the Sun
By: Adventure Living
Tags: Life Lessons, Birthday, Beauty, Wellness, Women

early summer skiing

Living

It is nearing that time; I have almost circumnavigated the sun. And then it will be the Wednesday of my 50’s. By today’s standards (since it appears that 70 is the new 50), I am sort of youngish. It is during this early part of the summer that I often review the year — ups and downs. Do the counts. While I am not OCD, I take stock. how much have I traveled, on ski days (how many runs), at bars or pubs (how many drinks), has my weight changed, etc, etc, etc. Yet for the things that matter most, there is no way to track — it merely is. And usually a result of some of the living one has done.

Summer is my time. While the change of seasons is mesmerizing and winter sports appealing, born in the summer…there has been an affinity. This is the opening of the pools, the sleeveless tops, the longer days, yes some stifling heat and the mental break that we give ourselves.

This winter had some unpublished rough spots. Those types of things that seem to come in February (the darkest and coldest time of the year.) These are the things for which we were unprepared — for which the best planning could not mitigate. They appear in the middle of an otherwise decent day or over the phone on a Sunday night. They leave one winded. When one comes to ground, she then thinks more about the living. The people and times that matter.

For this Wednesday in my 50’s, this is what has helped me through:

Take risks. No one knows what is risky to you. They say nothing ventured, nothing gained. Live like you mean it. Take photographs. Thank you smartphone. You have made it easy. While my grown daughters tire of their photograph being snapped, I don’t. Friends have passed and as the years move on, the photographs are what keep them front and center. As Simon and Garfunkel said “Preserve your memories, it’s all that’s left…” Sleep. Some lament it a waste of time. It is truly the only process by which one shuts down, subconsciously problem solves, escapes the stress of life. This includes naps. Some say they only need “a few hours a night.” Review Ben Franklin’s life … uber napper. Don’t take yourself for granted. Many of us commit many hours to others. This is our family members, our friends, our clients, our work. This is what we do. This is an altruistic and good quality. But without one’s self in the equation, the puzzle cannot be solved. This means your health, your time, your being. Don’t. Don’t brag. We all know people who do. It generally revolves around position in society and financial success. The most impressive people are those who have accomplished much and rarely speak of their success. They are humble, they are caring, they are real. Read. To me, the best lessons are still in words. This is where we understand character, nuance, history, love and loss. And trash summer reading counts as well. Keep your friends close. Good friends don’t require lots of time. Or it never feels like lots of time. Because with those friends there are never enough hours. Conversing can last well into the evening. These are the people that hold one another up, laugh and cry together and can read you with a look. You know who they are. They will not be around forever. Don’t waste time on energy vultures. These are the people who take. They take your time, your energy and your advise. But they exhaust you. Your time matters more. Give, give, give. For the people who matter to you, it should be a bottomless well. And sometimes those people whom you have only met casually, but you know must need a break. Tip at least 20%, don’t negotiate a price down from a seller who really needs the sale, make the donation anonymous, do more than have a campaign on facebook — write the check, perform the sweat equity. Be interested. The most interesting people are those interested in others. Those who do not prattle on about themselves. Those who ask questions. And the most is learned through two-way communications — this is listening more than talking. Live in Hope. Yes, we seem to be on the brink of an environmental crisis, a presidential meltdown and unfairness world wide. There is much about which to fret and wring our hands. And we already know it won’t end well for any of us. We are all headed to the same place. Yet living like chicken little does not net happiness. As Psychologist Martin Seligman said “Curing the negatives does not guarantee the positive.” Put the future generations first. When one gets to be a certain age, playing it forward becomes primary. By a certain time, we have earned about as much as we will, received about as much recognition as we can and some have reached a certain pinnacle. This is the time to note that the “younger” people deserve the breaks. It is how we got to our own place once upon a time ago. Play it forward. Eat and Drink. The New York Times Column on Sunday, June 9th called “Smash the Wellness Industry” is right on. At a certain time we become fixated on our bodies and appetites — what they were, what they are. I am one who has had a lifelong obsession. I have often said that for someone who thinks about food and exercise as much as I do, I should be lots thinner. Like being thin defines me. I posted this piece to great internet fanfare…my favorite from a distant geographic friend, “we are human and we are hungry.” This does not mean stop eating vegetables and subsist on chips. It does mean to live. Your clothing and superficial stuff. So by late middle age, we each have a look. We know what we like. For me the question is always, how many black dresses and t-shirts does one person need? It turns out, less than I thought. Buying and too much stuff only becomes a hindrance to living. Said the woman with another pile being donated tomorrow with some small black t-shirts. I am no longer a size small. What really matters? Only you know this. But has Curly in epic hit “City Slickers” said, “the one thing.” Don’t dance around it. Don’t squander your time. You do know what this is.

Still a bit of more time until that big day in which a friend (with the same birthday and also left-handed) and I will celebrate and eat things like watermelon laced with Tequila. We will hope for good things in the new year for those we love and for ourselves. We might say a few prayers for an improved planet. We might make a difference, or as my hero Hemingway said at the end of his BEST book, “The Sun Also Rises,” “Isn’t it pretty to think so.”

Happy Summer

Jennifer