The Edge of Death 死亡的邊緣. 中文在下面
By: Tsun. C
Tags: Now, Live In The Present, Bangkok, New Zealand, Thailand

中文在英文下面

Bangkok, Thailand 2014

Most people often say “live in the present” when they see a celebrity or someone they know dies.

Those who understand “live in the present”, can truly

realize and live out it seem to be a minority.

Even I often remind myself to live in the present, but sometimes I often forget.

We never seem to leave the present, but focus on people and things, or on the past and the future.

Understanding and realize are two different levels. To understand is to understand by mind, and to realize is by heart.

I have experienced several experiences that are a little closer to death. One of the most impressive experiences is that on the way to Milford Sound in New Zealand, when encountering heavy snow, the car skidded from the uphill to the downhill section of the mountain. The car slid all the way from the uphill. There is a cliff on the left and a side of mountain on the right. I tried to control the steering wheel, however I couldn’t control it at all, and I could only let the car spin at will. At that time, the entire space-time slowed down, showing a state where time and space were vacuumed. I only heard one of my family members was yelling “car skids”, and the whole voice seemed to be released slowly. Later, the car was fortunately slid downhill. Fortunately, the downhill have a empty space big enough for cars, and our car was blocked by grass. We walked out from the car awkwardly. After while we calm down, and we found that we were very lucky. If the car slided to the left, and we will fall off the cliff. Also if the car didn’t’ slide downhill, we will hit the rocks on the rightside. Then we started looking for help on the road, again we were lucky to met a man who is driving the snow plow after a short while. The man said that we were very lucky because they received a task to shovel snow, otherwise many people would wait for long time for rescue. We just realize that we encountered so many “lucky” on the accident. but in retrospect, when the accident was put me so close to death, the mind has actually lost its functioning, and it is no enough time to experience any fear or other Thoughts, and no enough time to think about the people and things we possesses. This is the first time I have ever realized the death happens may be just a breathing moment, and God will take you home at that moment.

Later, I also encountered a film-like death experience in Thailand. I was in Thailand during the Thai riots 2014. Many roads were closed and controlled. As a result taxis were screamed at high prices. At that time, choosing a bus was the best action. One day when taking the bus, the bus drove close to the downtown area of ​​Siam. Someone rang the bell to get off. The car stopped when the door was opened. As a result, the phone booth next to the bus stop was exploded, and the dust fragments spurted out. My ears were shocked by the sound of the explosion to the point that I only heard a beeping ringing in the ears, which felt like a movie. After regaining consciousness, I found that everyone was subconsciously lying on the floor of the bus. Suddenly, the bus conductor screamed and asked the bus driver to drive away immediately, therefore bus driver accelerated the bus away. At this time, all the Thai passengers on the bus were crying. Some people started to make a phone call, crying and talking. And I realized that we were attacked by a bomb, luckily that the power of the bomb is very small, just to create panic and nervousness. In retrospect, I also found that sometimes death happens in breathing moment again, and we don’t even have the opportunity to “think”, and we will start to “think” after regaining consciousness.

After experiencing these, sometimes reminds myself to live in the present and take the time to do what I love. But as time passed, I got lost, and living in fear with put my mind in past and the future, I escaped from the present, escaped to do the things I love most, because those things I love can not get money or utility. However, we always naturally find ourselves back when lost, maybe we will be lost again, and then we will find ourselves again. The current experience is to try my best to do what I love. It feels like a bet, but since it is a bet, everything is a game, Then don’t take the journey of life too seriously.

There is a saying, “I take risks while I’m young to do what I love.” In retrospect, I mostly try to “play” while I’m young, but now I’m older, but I don’t feel that I can’t do anything crazy in any age. Perhaps, we might change the saying into “ while our heartbeat is still beating, we should immediately do what we love.” I used to think that the things I love need to have a grand ceremony, something should be done to stimulate or have the meaning of “success” or “achievement”. However, I realized it’s so simple to do anything I love to do, maybe just sitting and drinking a cup of coffee, maybe it’s not doing anything just lying down on the bed, maybe writing an article, reading a book, maybe to learn to fly, maybe going diving, maybe staying up late to immerse myself in my favorite work…everything single thing is equally important, and there is no way to distinguish between level. In each moment, I tried my best to do or not do the things that make me feel the most favorite or calmest.

The only thing I want to do is to live each breath to the fullest.

多數人常常在看見名人或者某個認識熟悉的人離世時，常常會說”活在當下”這四個字。

明白到這四個字，又真正能體會這四個字的人且活出這四個字的人，似乎是少數。

即使是我也常常提醒自己要活在當下，但有時也常常會忘記。

我們似乎也從來沒有離開過當下，只是把注意聚焦在人事物上，或者放在過去與未來。

明白以及體會是兩種不同的層次，明白是頭腦懂了，體會則是心懂了。

我自己經歷幾次離死亡稍微比較接近的經歷，印象中比較深刻的是在紐西蘭的米佛峽灣山路，遇到大雪在山上下坡路段車子打滑，從上坡車子一路滑下，路的左邊是懸崖，右邊是山壁，我試著控制著方向盤，但實際根本無法控制，只能任由車子隨意地旋轉，當時整個時空慢了下來，呈現像是一種時間與空間被真空的狀態，我只聽到家人喊著”打滑”，整個聲音像是被慢速的放出來，後來車子幸運的被滑到下坡，下坡剛好有比較空曠的空地，然後被草給擋住，我們狼狽地走出來冷靜一番後，發現我們也太幸運，如果往左邊滑車子就會墜落懸崖了，如果沒有滑到下坡，車子往右邊就會撞山壁。而後我們開始在路上找求救，沒多就幸運地遇到鏟雪車，鏟雪車的人員說我們好幸運，因為他們收到任務要剷雪，不然很多人出車禍有時都會等一兩天才遇到救援。一個意外才發現自己遇到那麼多一連串的”幸運”當時想著活著真好，但是回想起來真正遇到意外離死亡那麼接近時，當下頭腦其實已經失去運作了，根本來不及體會任何恐懼或者其他想法，也沒有時間去想到人生所擁有的人事物，這是第一次我明白死亡也不過可能是那一瞬間的事情，老天要接你回家就是那一瞬間的事。

而後我在泰國也遇到一次更有電影畫面的經歷，2014年時在泰國暴動期間到了泰國，好多的道路都被管制封閉，因此計程車被漫天喊價的貴，那時選擇公車是最好的行動方式，有一天搭公車的時候，公車開到接近Siam市區前，有人按鈴要下車，車子開門一停下來，結果公車站旁的電話亭被放了爆炸物剛好爆炸，整個灰塵碎片噴了出來，我的耳朵被爆炸聲音震到只聽到嗶_ — — — 一股斷訊的耳鳴聲音，這感覺如同電影演的一樣。回過神後，發現所有人都下意識地趴在公車地板上面，突然車掌小姐嘶吼著要公車司機快開走，公車司機像是回魂般的把公車加速開走，開了好一段距離才想到要把車門關上，而此時所有公車上的泰國乘客都在哭，有人開始打了電話，一邊哭一邊講話。而我此刻才意識到受到炸彈攻擊，但是好險的是炸彈威力很小，只是要製造慌亂緊張，我回想起來也發現有時死亡也就是那一瞬間，我們連思考連想的機會都沒有，在恢復意識後我們才會開始“思考”，我與大多數的人一樣想到家人。

後來還有好幾次，也經歷腦洞大開在未知的世界以及接近死亡的經歷，時常會提醒自己要活在當下，要把握時間去做自己喜愛的事物。但是隨著時間的過去，又會再次經歷迷失，活在過去與未來的恐懼，逃離當下，逃離去做最自己喜愛的事物，因為那些喜愛的事物無法獲得金錢或者功利，所以不允許自己去做。然而迷失了自然還是會找回自己，也許還會再迷失，然後又會找回自己，不斷的循環。

現在的被推動著是盡力去做自己喜愛的事物，有時喜愛的事物也會帶來意想不到的金錢或者報酬，有時也什麼都沒有，但這無損樂趣與熱情，也許要不停提醒自己把人生當場遊戲，那就不要太過嚴肅看待人生旅程。

有句俗語”趁著年輕去做冒險去做喜愛的事”，回想起來我多數趁著年輕都有盡量去”玩”，但現在年紀稍長，我卻沒感覺年紀長就不能做點什麼，那我們不如把那段俗語改成趁著心跳還跳著，就該立刻去做自己喜愛的事物。我曾經認為喜愛的事物需要有種澎湃盛大的儀式，應該要做點什麼帶來刺激或者有所”成功”、”成就”的意義價值才可算是喜愛的事物達成標準，但漸漸地發現喜愛得事物是坐著喝杯咖啡，有可能是什麼不做只是坐著呼吸，有可能是寫文章看書，有可能去學開飛機，有可能去運動，有可能是熬夜沉浸在喜愛的事物…每一件事都是同等的重要，沒法分別等級與高低，在每個當下，不考慮得失與結果，朝著讓自己感到最喜歡興奮、最平靜的事物去行動，或者不去行動。

也許這就是每個都呼吸都被活到淋漓盡致。