White Women Need to Mute R. Kelly, Too
By: Anna Ghosh
Tags: Rape Culture, Metoo, White Women, R Kelly

(written in May, 2018)

I walked out of my favorite dance class last week when the R. Kelly Ignition Remix came on. I didn’t yet know about the #MuteRKelly campaign led by women of color, but I’ve known for years about continual allegations against him for sexually abusing and imprisoning children and women.

The last time R. Kelly was played at this class, I asked the teacher, a white woman whom I adore, to consider taking it out of the rotation and she did so for the following class. I don’t know if any of the mostly white women in the class noticed, but I did. Despite my initial embarrassment around saying something, I’m glad I did and it felt great to be in a space where I could voice my conscience and have someone care and do something about it. Then a month later, in that same class, there he was again — toot toots, beep beeps, and all. I felt sick to my stomach.

I get it. There are plenty of musicians, past and present, who are alleged sexual predators and child molesters. There are musicians who have done terrible things that I don’t know about. But I do know about R. Kelly’s reputation and have seen countless accounts of victims who have tried to speak out but nothing has changed for R. Kelly. He’s still performing, making music, and reaping the financial rewards.

Thanks to the leadership and tenacity of Black women, the #MuteRKelly campaign could be the final death knell of R. Kelly’s consequence-resistant career. It has been amplified by a growing list of celebrities and the Times Up campaign, and momentum only seems to be growing. I am in awe of these courageous women of color who are calling on the music industry and all of us to no longer tolerate R. Kelly’s behavior, but I am not surprised. Women of color have proven time and time again that we should not only trust and listen to them, but we need to let them lead.

As a white woman — but more importantly a human being with common decency — I have the responsibility to boycott R. Kelly, too. This doesn’t mean I lose sight of all the ways white people, especially white women, have and continue to harm, appropriate, and exploit people of color and my responsibility in facing and stopping this. It doesn’t mean I demonize and caricature R. Kelly as a monster — he was a child victim of abuse himself. I don’t believe anyone is beyond redemption and I do hope that R. Kelly can get help.

I cannot speak to the experience of being a Black girl or woman, but I can speak to being a survivor of sexual child abuse and assault. I can speak to the feeling of voicelessness or not being taken seriously or feeling like violence being waged against my body was my fault. This is why I refuse to dance to R. Kelly or listen to his music on behalf of the girls and women he’s harmed, and their loved ones. And I hope other white people will do the same.

R. Kelly’s music isn’t isolated to African American only spaces — his music has been played at every white wedding I’ve attended over the past 20 years and many predominantly white dance classes I’ve attended. Just because women of color are rightfully leading the charge to take R. Kelly down, his decades of preying on girls and women of color with impunity is all of our problem. I don’t care how catchy his tunes are. Keeping all girls and women safe — especially girls and women of color who have been silenced to the detriment of all people — is something we should all be committed to all the time.

When I walked out of that dance class last week, I submitted a complaint to the studio’s management. I also sent an email linking to this blog and asking them for a response that I can publish. I am happy to report that the dance studio has now removed routines set to R. Kelly music from its entire choreography library! It might be a small thing in the grand scheme, but I believe all of our small acts of resistance and truth telling will add up to making the world safer and more empowering for girls, women, trans and gender expansive folks. Here are some concrete things we can all do to #MuteRKelly: