A paradox
Tags: Personal Story, Life Times Of Lockdown, Covid, Introvert, Short Story

I wrote this is a short story for a local competition about and around COVID-19, and while it wasn’t part of the top stories, I thought I’d share this somewhat whimsical, mostly subjective, and particularly personal writing with you.

Photo by Rostyslav Savchyn on Unsplash

She was the most introverted of introverts, about the most introverted person she knew, almost hermit-like in nature. She would many a time hear about how quiet she was as if she had no idea. The pandemic, although startling in how contagious it seemed and slightly threatening of her steady income stream in its wave of uncertainty, gave her a blissful relief from the world’s expectations. No more did she have to decline any social invitations, have the need to be somewhere, or make an excuse. Online communication became the norm and the requirement. Social distancing. She no longer needed her invisible bubble due to the new laws of having to keep apart. A relief. No one could see her awkward smile as a response to small talk under her mask. They could anyway not hear her speak through the mask which kept in tune with her usual awkward aura. She could work from home, another coin in her fountain of isolation, a luck that seemed to cross her path for several months. Although suggested, there were no totalitarian rules on the need for video on work calls, thankfully. Extroverted friends would tell her how frustrated they were in being holed up at home, and she would empathize but not relate. She lived in her own world — her imagination, thoughts, and plans within her mind swirled like they were part of their own solar system.

Other than the reason for having to self-isolate, she was quite comfortable in having to do so. She started Yoga for beginners, something she had always wanted to attempt. Generally, things were going well other than the financial uncertainty that was mulling around in her head. She loved her home and her way of living. She loved that she was in quarantine with her folks. She had several plans for self-improvement during this stay-at-home time. Weirdly, and unexpectedly, she started feeling — and she was a deep feeler but generally more prone to logic — like she did not belong. She only truly had her dogs as dependents. Other than them, no one really needed her, she thought. She had no partner that would remind her how important she was to him, although, actually, she realized, she had never experienced that in life. All her partnering experiences made her feel like she was lucky to have them in her life. But she was confident in herself so it wasn’t that. It was a difficult feeling to shake off. So she did some online shopping.

She would lose a dog while in lock-down, her lock-down partner she still wryly posted about on Instagram, and this would break her heart more than any romantic counterpart ever could. They shared Burger King the night before her passing under the stars while lying on the dog bed. She would frequent the veterinary clinic in the next few weeks with her other dog to have an eye removed due to melanoma, and this would keep her days and mind occupied outside of her remote work. No one would understand the emotional turmoil that she was experiencing; not due to COVID-19, but from life happening within her own little world. Nevertheless, she was thankful - for quarantine - and that she was able to spend so much time with her furry friends, which she would have not have had in any other moment in time. A paradox, just like her.