Is Apartment Living Giving You Anxiety?
Tags: Apartments, Anxiety, Neighbours, City Living, Stress

I lived in a detached house for former years of my life, at one point my family moved very close to the city and since the properties are so expensive we decided to purchase an apartment rather than a detached house which could average more than one million dollars.

We had briefly lived at a detached house in the same region before we moved into the apartment. The apartment is big, it’s got 2 floors and it’s roughly the same square foot as a detached house. I’ve been to my friends’ detached houses in the area and although it looks big on the outside it’s no bigger than my family home. Size isn’t the issue. The issue is the thin walls.

I have neighbours on all sides. The next-door neighbour, in particular, gives me the most headaches, they have more than 5 kids all of the different ages some as young a two and they would be playing basketball in their rooms at 3 am in the morning. There is always the constant threat of noise from them.

My mother has went and complaint to the superintendent who in turned warned the family. For a while, everything was quiet which was great.

However, I started to notice something. It’s not really the loud noises that I’m the most bothered by, it’s the small audible noises that seemed to respond to private conversations I have with my mom.

It’s not surprising that some would eavesdrop but the way these people do it gives me the creep. It’s not that we are out in the public where my private conversations could be overheard accidentally by those who stood near us. I’m at home! Where I should feel safe to indulge in whatever secrets I would like to share with my mom.

The small responsive noises aren’t just there when I’m talking with my mom either. It’s always there responding to any stimuli from my apartment.

Now, before I go any further. I would like to say that I’m not delusional. I’ve recorded myself talking in vlogs before and I could distinctively hear the neighbour’s slight tiny knocking noises. It’s not loud but it’s audible and it responds to certain things I talked about in my vlog. Someone was clearly behind it. It wasn’t a creaking floorboard for sure. There was a human brain with emotions attached.

It made me feel uncomfortable as though I’m somehow being monitored through the thin walls. Whoever they are, I’m sure it’s not just one person. It may be many different people at different times who just happen to hear any sounds from my unit and they are responsive. It happens at all hours of the day even at 3 AM which is right now. There is always someone awake from their unit at all times.

One day, I realized I was in a particularly good mood for no apparent reason. I wasn’t anxious or stressed out. I knew I had responsibilities to fulfill for the day. The same amount of duty as all other days however I was not at all worried. The whole day I felt awesome. My skin looked better. The redness and itchiness have dissipated. I was productive and had unusually great naps. My entire family seemed to be in better moods that day too. Then, we heard the door slammed next door. Turns out the family was out for an entire day, they had never done so before. Our good moods could easily be explained by their absence.

It’s the tiny responsive noises that bother us more than we realized at first.

I tend to touch my face more and become more irritable and stressed over daily responsibilities such as studying whenever I hear their tiny responsive noises.

Sure, I can put on a headphone but the rate to which they are responding to just any noise from my unit is continual and persistent. Besides, headphones give me headaches, as if I don’t have them already.

If you don’t live in an apartment it might be hard for you to grasp.

Now, these people next door aren’t specifically targeting my family to eavesdrop and to react. I’m sure they do it to all other units surrounding them.

I struggled to understand why they have to act so creepily. Shouldn’t they be focused on other things in their lives? Why would they seem to be eavesdropping at almost all times?

One explanation I can think of for their odd behaviours is that they are stressed out from whatever they were experiencing in their lives. It’s not easy to live with more than 10 other people while knowing your family couldn’t afford a bigger place (They are renting). Any small noises coming from my unit would trigger a large response from them and it causes them to react whereas other people may just ignore and not be as responsive.

It feels like having my own personal echo machine that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. This echo machine is lagging for sure. I imagine myself walking on the street with two-person clapping behind me every time I took a step only that their reactions are slow. It feels like anything I do would elicit a reaction from them, even mundane stuff such as walking, typing, opening the faucet, closing the faucet, calling out my pet’s names, sneezing, etc. Whatever I do, they seem to always be listening. Maybe they didn’t do it on purpose. Maybe they just couldn’t help but overhear and be responsive.

Every time I had to break the silence to type something on my computer I fully expected some type of reactive noises. Every time I stopped typing I also fully expect some type of reactive noises. These noises always start out at moments when I started doing something, when the pace of such action changed, and when I stopped doing something. Thrice it’s a coincidence but every time I do I get a responsive noise in return? It’s not a coincidence.

I worry other people wouldn’t understand and would only think maybe I’m crazy. Note, I’m not hallucinating or hearing things, my family is bothered by it too, and to be fair having 10+ people living in their unit must have meant someone would have to be paste to the wall at some point to get away from their busy family life. It’s a pretty big apartment but it’s not designed for 10+ people thus why they would be overhearing so much on purpose or not.

What they are doing gives me great distress. I constantly feel like I’m being observed. There is always someone awake next door at all times and there is always someone responding to whatever noise I produce. I feel tired. I feel really exhausted. This is a feeling a lot of you probably couldn’t fathom. If you got a whole house to yourself, be grateful. You have no idea how much I pine after it.

If you also live in an apartment. May I suggest that at least some part of your stress and anxiety might have come from your neighbours?

We may get used to them “accidentally” overhearing anything you do and not think twice when they do make responsive noises that suggest they heard it. You try not to give it too much thought but it does give you a lot of anxiety.

My friend, I know it’s tough and if you ever decide to move you may still be faced with the same issue.

It’s okay, at least we can still hope that someday we would be able to afford a detached house. I know that’s now my dream. I’ll get my own detached house and live in it by myself, no one else. It would be… heavenly.