The Laid-Back Person’s Guide to Navigating the Coronavirus
By: Elizabeth Katherine
Tags: Community, Helping Others, Self, Relationships, Coronavirus

The Laid-Back Person’s Guide to Navigating the Coronavirus

How can I put my chill attitude in service to others?

Photo by Jacalyn Beales on Unsplash

I’ve always joked that I’m the person you want in a crisis. I’ve been through a lot in my personal life so there isn’t much that can shock or destabilize me. I was primed for interpersonal crisis from a young age so, well, things being crazy just feels kind of normal to me. It’s the boring everyday stuff I tend to struggle with.

As the spread of Coronavirus intensified over the last few weeks, it was becoming increasingly clear that we were heading towards either a public health crisis and/or far-reaching preventative measures. Yesterday, the Premier of Québec declared a health emergency and announced a slew of restrictions and closures including schools, universities, and daycares for minimally the next two weeks.

As someone who teaches university and has two young children, this impacts me directly. I checked in with myself for any signs of hidden stress or worry. Nope, I felt fine. Social distancing feels like a rather anti-climatic sort of crisis. I understand that these preventative measures are being put in place to ease the load off the health care system (aka “flatten the curve”) and protect those most at risk.

Even if the three of us are low-risk for complications, I, for one, am quite fine with my family not contracting the COVID-19 infection. We have better things to do with our bodies and time than getting sick.

As a result, I am respecting social distancing guidelines and not at all stressed about the situation. I see these extra days at home as a respite from what was becoming an overly busy spring for me, and precious time to spend with my son and daughter. I’m welcoming this time to chill and catch up with some chores.

A quick glance at my social media feed, however, was enough to make me realize that not everyone was reacting like me. It seems that for many people I know the social distancing measures and/or the possibility of getting sick with COVID-19 is freaking the heck out of them.

In view of this, I asked myself: How can I put my chill attitude in service of others?

In response to my own query, here is my Laid-Back Person’s Guide to Navigating the Coronavirus:

Don’t mock people for their reaction

My Facebook feed seems to be more or less equally divided between posts from people desperately looking for supplies like pasta or sharing photos of their grocery store loot VS posts from people mocking this apocalyptic buying frenzy or showing detailed mathematical calculations determining exactly how many rolls of toilet paper a family of four would normally require for a two-week period of social distancing (apparently 16).

Even though, some of these posts (from both sides) are admittedly funny, I’ve decided to simply not engage. The closest to this kind of situation we Montrealers have experienced is the Ice Storm of 1998 (yes, capitalized), which saw the city paralyzed for a week under a treacherous sheet of ice, widespread power outages, and a real lack of basic supplies. The long-term effects of the Ice Storm are even part of a psychological study.

I have a lot of sympathy for folks trying to get a handle on an unprecedented situation where they have little control other than what they can line their shelves with. This “social distancing” situation is new. A term I had never heard until last week is now common parlance. People are adapting the best they can.

I can be kind about this.

Be proactive with changing plans

This semester I am teaching four undergraduate classes with over 200 students under my charge. If there is anything I’ve learned in my two years of teaching is that many (many, many) of my students struggle with anxiety. I knew that Friday’s announcement that universities were closing for two weeks (but still expected to complete the semester) was going to freak the eff out of a considerable amount of students. And sure enough, within minutes the worried emails started trickling into my inbox.

As soon as I could, I sent my students a detailed — and I’d like to believe reassuring — email (entitled “Our plan for the next two weeks”) with instructions for alternative ways to submit the assignments due within the next two weeks, simple instructions to download Zoom, and a provisory plan for the rest of the semester should the shut-down continue past March 30th.

Other than a few thank you’s and a couple of logistical questions, the emails completely ceased. I’m assuming that my students know where we are heading.

Next on my list is to reach out to any of my facilitation clients who haven’t already contacted me to cancel and/or reschedule events to offer my support in thinking through alternatives.

I can use my level-headedness to make life easier for others who might be feeling overwhelmed either because of the anxiety this situation is provoking or the sheer number of things they now have to rearrange.

Check on how friends and family are managing

This afternoon, I called my elderly aunt to see how she was coping. She is a fiercely independent woman who lives in a retirement complex, complete with on-site grocery store and pharmacy. I was pretty sure she’d refuse any offers of help (she did), given that her building is brilliantly equipped to deal with this kind of situation. However, I did want to see how she was doing emotionally. I placed the call mentally prepared to honour any anxiety she might be dealing with. She was just fine, and we had a nice chat about what the apocalypse might look like one day.

Later, I’ll be texting a few friends to see how they are coping and tomorrow I’ll be calling a few more. In addition to the discomfort with social distancing and Coronavirus fears, many people I know rely on contracts, gigs, and shift-work to pay their bills and cancelling so many services and events is causing massive financial anxiety as well.

Since I’m feeling steady, I can hold space for others and allow them to talk it out until they can steady themselves.

Offer to help out

One of my closest friends is self-isolating after returning from a trip to see her guy in the US. She is symptom-free and almost certainly not a carrier of COVID-19. However, she is responsibly following social distancing guidelines. She also lives alone. It took me all of 17 seconds to text her today and ask if she needed anything.

She was almost out of coffee (gasp!) and wanted some fresh bread from the delicious bakery next to my place. The bakery was out of bread (a regular occurrence at the best of times — it’s really good) so I picked up a few croissants instead as well as her coffee beans and power-walked the dozen blocks to her place. She was grateful for the Rapunzel-like social interaction and I learned that throwing a bag of croissants onto a second-floor balcony is nigh impossible. She’ll have tasty crumbs with her fresh coffee tomorrow morning.

I plan on checking in with her everyday.

I also accepted an invitation to join a local mutual aid Facebook group where people can post requests for, or offers of, help.

Spend money at a local business

I am viscerally aware of the fragility of our interdependence. All of these sudden changes will have an economic ripple effect. One of my only worries in this whole situation is the potential negative financial impact on already marginalized individuals and just-getting-by small businesses.

After two of my favourite local businesses shut down in the last couple of months, I’ve upped my awareness of where I spend my dollars. I’ve been vastly reducing my online shopping and visits to big box stores in favour of small shops where I can interact with real humans.

Today — following all hygienic and social distancing guidelines — I spent money at the corner bakery (croissants), the café down the street (coffee beans for my buddy and a latte for me), and a locally-owned grocery store (fruits and vegetables for my almost-bare fridge).

Over the next couple of weeks (and months) I plan to be extra, extra diligent about keeping my dollars local and my neighbourhood shops in business.

Schedule self-care

Especially in these few days while my son and daughter are with their father, my time home alone feels expansive and vague — kinda like that week between Christmas and New Year’s.

I can easily get caught up in reaching out to other people, blasting through my grading, cleaning my apartment, or scrolling mindlessly through Facebook or Twitter. With my gym closed and my daily routine disrupted, I am prone to forget to take care of myself.

My solution has been to create a to-do list for myself with pre-determined amounts of time for any given activity (this is called time-boxing). In addition to time dedicated to my household chores, work emails, and grading, today’s list included a one-hour walk, a journaling session, and an audiobook break.

If I want to remain chill (and in service to others) I’ve gotta make sure to take good care of myself too.