Confessions of An Absentee Friend
By: Melanie J.
Tags: Fellowship Writers, Friendship, Social Media, Self Help, Writing

“Don’t take it personally, it's not you, it’s me.” Yes, I am that person in the relationship. People would like to believe that I am an extrovert because I am able to adapt when needed. But in actuality, I am an introvert and love being unplugged from the world. I have very few friends and the people who I am closest with are my family members. My mom is literally my best friend.

Those who have been my friends for more than 10 years have grown to accept my absentee ways. But, for my newer acquaintances, goodness, I think I am going to have to keep explaining myself for 10 years before they understand my introversion.

It’s really not you, it’s me. Please don’t take it personally, you know how it is, life gets in the way and you know how you get into a routine, and before you know it, it’s been two years. I am truly sorry, but you know I love you right?

I sound like a sociopath; I have shamefully made that speech far too many times.

“No, I don’t want to be social on Social Media, so please stop asking.”I am baffled at how people keep up with being social on Social Media. Texting is hard enough to keep up with. If you send me a text, I might respond today, or a month from now, or maybe never. And if I don’t respond, it’s because we have already spoken, and the text is now obsolete. I have so many new and unanswered text messages, it’s almost embarrassing. But, in my defense, most of them have been resolved or part of group text chains and there was no need to reply. But I digress.

Social Media doesn’t allow a window for my absentee friendship to flourish. Everything requires immediate attention and it’s so noisy, well visually noisy. In the blink of an eye, something new pops up. I just can’t keep up with all of that. Furthermore, I don’t want my apologies for being an absentee friend, plastered on a public domain open for judgement. A text will suffice.

I have been truly working on getting better especially during 2020. I have reconnected with so many friends and family, and so far, I’ve done a decent job (I would give myself a B-) of remaining connected. I will be honest, I have had a few slip ups where I had to explain, “it’s really not you, it’s me. Please don’t take it personally, you know how it is…”

Phone calls are the absolute worst. They don’t allow an escape or a way out. There were no excuses not to pick up the phone, unless I used the “I was busy” excuse, but for the most part, I wasn’t that busy. The truth is, I wasn’t in the mood to talk, so the calls went unanswered.

I’m going to confess that, I might have, well I have ignored a few calls here and there. OK fine, there were many calls that I ignored, I even ignored a couple calls during this week. But shhh, please don’t tell my friends or family members. I feel bad, please believe me I do, but it’s best that we talk when my introverted self is willing and when my energy is vibrating the right way. The conversation would be better for us all.

So, friends and family, when you call, and I don’t answer because I’m “busy” please wait for me to call you back. Please don’t leave a message, I don’t even want to get into that. Just send a text and we could go from there. If I don’t call back or text you back for a month or so, “it’s really not you, it’s me. Please don’t take it personally, you know how it is…”