I should give my body a name too!
Tags: Body Positive

I should give my body a name too!

In truth, I am giddy with excitement as I type this because I have been craving noodles and suya for a long time and will be eating it tonight. The Universe comes through sometimes. Whewwwww.

I am very sure that this is the longest I’ve been away from here. One would expect that since classes are virtual, it becomes easier. That’s a lie I tell you--a lie from Hades himself. Nevertheless, I am here, and that’s all that matters. Wink (Picture me doing this if you know me personally. Gracias).

Memories from my childhood are a bit blurry, and I do not even know why. However, one of the few memories that stand out for me is a time on the assembly ground in Junior school. A senior punished me for having very dark eyelids because she assumed that I had eye shadow on my eyes. While I was on my knees, I had to scratch and scrub my eyes with all of my strength to show her I had nothing on them. Pathetic, I tell you.

As a child, I spent more time in the bathroom scrubbing my eyelids than any other part of my body because they were unusually dark and felt like dirt. Hearing people give their unsolicited opinions about why they think my eyelids were dark did not even help my situation one bit. How do you see a child you barely know and start to spew out reasons their body looks a certain way? How do you meet a person with acne and start to give unsolicited solutions to the acne as if they are not aware that their skin looks a certain way and does not fit into your beauty standards? How?

One day in Senior Secondary School, I was looking into a mirror placed in my room, and my eyes felt like they were a part of me that I had never seen before. That day, I spent an ample amount of time moisturizing my eyelids. That moment felt surreal, and it was there and then that the acceptance of how unconventional my eyes looked began. From then on and till this day, I speak about my eyelids at every possible chance I get, and I do not apologize for it because it has taken me years to come into this acceptance and confidence that I project.

Also, a particular person thinks my eyelids add character to my face. He thinks they make me look exotic, like a pure-blooded Oyo princess. W!

Your body features do not have fit into the beauty standards created by society. If no one else will tell you, I will. Having scanty brows, unibrows, dark eyelids, Almost-red eyeballs, thick lips, black lips, a big nose, and all of the unconventional features do not make you less beautiful. It’s okay if you have not accepted them yet and you’re on your way to this acceptance. They are always there waiting for you to come to grips with them, love them, cherish them, talk, and write about them. They are perfect. On some days, you will love them. On some others, not so much. The journey to acceptance is never easy, after all.

“For a size 6, you wear clothes that fit you” is such a demeaning compliment I never want to hear again. I do not appreciate it because, just like you, I am simply existing, and I do not want you to see me as a special breed of human because of my body size and what I decide to do with it. Oh, because my butt is small and non-existent, bodycon dresses and tight jeans are not good enough for me? So, when I decide to wear them, I am brave like Samson that killed a lion? You wear these pieces of clothing and do not consider yourself brave, or do you? Oh, tell me, I am curious.

Complimenting a person’s self-confidence is not necessarily a bad thing. However, we must never attach their confidence to their body size because it sometimes insinuates that the body size is not something to be confident about in the first place. We must introspect before dishing out compliments to avoid them from being backhanded even when they are well-meaning compliments.

You see sef, in this part of the world I’ve grown to know a few things. If you’re fat, seemingly uncouth people who think they know your diet or are concerned about your health will single you out. And if you’re thin like me, with a non-existent stomach, people will shower you with compliments but with sprinkles of demeaning statements here and there. You will have phrases like “the wind can carry you away” and “You’re like a stick” thrown at you at random times. There’s no rest for you and me on the extreme ends of the body weight spectrum, but who cares? Not me, though.

Fat women especially have started to remove themselves from the beauty standards the society might have created over time. I love that they embrace their fupa and stretch marks and everything that seemed unattractive at one time. Most importantly, I love that they have started to give their bodies names like “big body Benz” and others I do not remember.

I have concluded that it is not enough to stare at my mirror for very long minutes. It is not enough that my favourite pieces of clothes to wear are ones that are fitted and tight. It is not enough that I randomly talk about how good this body of mine is. It is not enough that I have also chosen to write about it. I shall take it further by giving it a name.

Acceptance never stops. I keep moving, never stopping!