Ever wanted to be an identical twin?
By: Matthew Jacobs
Tags: Genetics, Self, Life Lessons, Children, Twins

“What’s it like being a twin?”

“Have you guys ever switched classes?”

“Can you guys communicate telepathically?”

I could keep going for days… Gotta admit being an identical twin is a terrific icebreaker with women. From there on, it’s complicated. We’re a unique breed. We constitute 0.45% of all pregnancies.

I’m guessing you’ve wondered what it’s like to be an identical twin; having a carbon copy of yourself living under the same roof as you. Fingers crossed this sheds some light on being an identical twin. And no, we can’t communicate telepathically.

Childhood & adolescence

Growing up through childhood and adolescence I’d have to say I liked being an identical twin. My brother was someone I could rely on as a friend, an opponent and as a measuring stick.

I was born in Canada in 1996; six years later my family moved to Adelaide, Australia. Another six years later I moved to Perth, Australia.

My twin brother and I were decidedly opposed to the moves— traveling to a foreign country entering grade two and moving interstate entering grade seven. We put on some bratty tantrums, to say the least. First world problems.

As a result, I’ve been a student of five different public schools between Canada, Adelaide, and Perth. Still, I don’t know how I would’ve survived without my clone to lean on. Especially for all those awkward “new kid” moments.

My guess is I would’ve been okay, they’re just awkward moments that die off. Regardless, it was comforting to have someone I know who’s in my exact position, fighting the same battles.

At least we’re not conjoined? Credit: FX Now

Up until I was 13, I’d get very irritated by people who would get my brother and me mixed up.

“How could these peasants get us wrong?!”

“But we’re so different!”

That’s how I’d justify those irritations to myself. According to Mum, one kid used to say “Hi Matt and Tom! (my brother)” even while only one of us was there. Lil fuckwit. Maybe he’s to blame for those irritations. I’ll just go ahead and blame him for all my problems.

I began to accept my clone identity during my first week of grade seven here in Perth. One boy was sitting down at his desk. A split second later he appeared on the opposite side of the room. Casually walking inside to class.

Am I tripping out? WTF is with Perth? Nope. They’re identical twins. It was a revelation for me — I finally knew how easy it was to get identical twins mixed up.

High school (grades eight through twelve) was no different. Another brand new school for me, and more twins to hammer out my stubbornness.

We had eight sets of twins in my year group to be exact; although I only recall two or three sets of identical twins. We even got featured on the local news. Finally some recognition for the privilege of being a twin.

My brother and I maintained a stable, healthy relationship throughout our years as school students. We had similar friends, similar interests, did the same subjects.

Of course, there were the odd arguments, fights, etc. as siblings do. The only time I’ve ever broken a bone is when he threw a TV remote at my hand. Somehow my hand broke and the remote didn’t.

I’m still looking for the right time to pay him back for that. Nonetheless, we had a relationship that I felt was stronger than most twinships.

Adulthood

This’d be when we started to drift apart. My twin brother and I were finally separated to pursue our own interests following our high school graduation.

Although we both go to the same university, we’re studying completely different disciplines. We never see each other there either. Concerning friendships, we’ve somewhat drifted into different circles.

Most of all, we’re completely different people as adults.

It’s fair to say my brother has progressed faster than me in some avenues. He’s got a full-time job while completing his Master's degree. He’s also a DJ, who’s scored gigs at reputable venues and events around Perth. He’s got a wonderful, loving partner who he’s been with for years.

Me? I’ve got a part-time internship, I’m single and have never held down a serious relationship. I’m also on shaky ground regarding my future as well as what I want to accomplish in this life. There are plenty more struggles I could reveal but I’ll leave it there.

It’d be hard for anyone to not look at your living mirror and say “I want that” or “he’s better than me”. As a matter of fact, I’ve been told that before.

It stung me hard. I’ve spent my whole life being competitive with my twin brother. Although it has waned as we’ve grown up, it’s a line I won’t ever forget.

Final thoughts

Has anyone heard of birth order theory? I wonder if it’s applicable to the birth order of twins, despite me being only minutes younger.

By definition I’m the last born child, so am I more outgoing, persistent and creative than my brother? Ask us both and we’d likely put ourselves over the other — after all, we’re twins. Or do my brother and I both possess firstborn traits?

Check the article I’ve linked above, see for yourself if it applies to your family.

If there are any lessons learned from this, the first one is I love my brother dearly. Even as we’ve drifted apart recently, he’s had a tremendous impact on the person I am today. Competitive, self-aware and measured.

Another lesson is simple — don’t compare yourself to others. Everyone does life at their own pace. The person you are today isn’t who you’ll be tomorrow, a month from now or a year from now. Instagram models post their alluring photos in exotic locations… all while taking a dump in some 3-star hotel.

Sure it’s okay to find external motivation for your own growth, to an extent. Just keep in mind everyone wears a mask (especially on social media).

More thoughts

What is the ideal “birth position” for someone?

Is it:

Oldest of two?

Only child?

Youngest of three?

Somewhere in the middle?

Being a twin?

I’d say we all think about being something else. It’s easy to want what we can’t have. I’m happy being an identical twin though. Although it’s been a difficult journey, there’s only 0.45% of us.

Top that.

What would you rather? To be an identical twin or an only child? To be male-female twins or the same gender? So many “would you rather” questions to contemplate besides your standard “would you rather have a bell go off every time you’re horny or never get horny?”.