5 Reasons to Hire a Life Coach in 2021
By: Bethany Lb Zabiegalski
Tags: Life Coaching, Self Discovery, The Shadow, Mindset Shift, Transformation

After the ruthless year that is 2020, we’re in the dark and looking desperately for some light. If you’ve never considered asking for help to get you on the right track and living a life you love, 2020 may have convinced you that you need a change right now. That now is the time.

Before we dig into why, I want to address some questions you might have about this whole “coaching” deal.

“What IS coaching?”

Answer: A coach is a partner on your road to transformation. Coaching facilitates a client-led process of deeper self-discovery while co-creating your plans to move toward your goals. See more in this video from the International Coach Federation.

“How can coaching help me?”

Answer: Coaching can help you shift your mindset, see new perspectives, create self-awareness, and unlock possibilities that you may not have previously considered. It gets you out of your head and into a world where you create the rules that govern your life (because you actually do).

And, sure, people accomplish amazing things through coaching: getting that next promotion, actualizing their leadership potential, creating a healthy lifestyle, or starting their own business.

But there’s another dimension beneath those surface-level outcomes that 2020 begs to be brought into the spotlight. If you’ve had a tough 2020, hiring a coach in 2021 might be just the thing you need.

Here are 5 coaching outcomes that have the power to transform your 2021:

Finally get on the same page with your self.

In a recent session with a client, we were talking about goals vs. intentions. I asked something like, “What’s the difference between what you want to accomplish (goals) and how you want to walk through your day/life (intentions)?”

My client thought for a moment, then reflected, “You know, I’m always making sure I’m on the same page with my significant other, my coworkers, and my family, so that I can meet their expectations. I don’t know that I’ve ever stopped to check in on whether I’m on the same page with myself.”

Your coach knows that self-alignment is key to your success. If you don’t truly, madly, deeply (Savage Garden gets it) want to achieve your goals for you and you alone, you likely will not achieve them, or the process will be painful.

Consider coaching as investment in time to check in with your Self, to make sure you’re on the same page with your actions and intentions so that you can maximize your ability to make progress between sessions. You can work with your coach to notice and clear out “shoulds” or “have tos,” then watch your life start to flourish under your own self-direction.

2. Actually enjoy the journey.

You always hear that “life is a journey, not a destination” and to “enjoy the journey,” but how many people actually live into that sentiment?

When you shift from focusing all your energy on un-met goals, to focusing on the type of person you want to be today (or your intentions), you start to actually enjoy life. Not that it becomes easier, and not that everything immediately snaps into place, but it certainly becomes more meaningful.

What does happen, is that you see purpose in your everyday actions and you start to notice that life isn’t just happening to you anymore. Your sense of fulfillment stops coming from that treadmill of achieving the next big thing, and starts revolving around the impact you make on your self and others each day. That sense of agency and self-direction goes a long way to shift you from a 2020 mindset, to the 2021 mindset of taking ownership of and purposefully walking your path forward.

You can partner with your coach to increase your enjoyment of life by getting clear on the type of person you want to be, learning to shift with your changing energy, and establishing regular self-checkins against your alignment with purposeful living, as well as your typical goal progress plan.

3. Partner with failure and fear.

According to the acorn theory of depth psychology, it is not particularly difficult for someone to “take the leap” and follow their passions. What IS difficult? Making sense of setbacks and roadblocks, and integrating fear and failure.

While you may have previously perceived failure as a sign to halt progress, or to change direction, what if it was a messenger pointing you in the right direction, or creating the perfect timing for our plans? Instead of avoiding your fears, or plowing forward and ignoring them, what if you took the time to listen to them and give your body what it’s trying to tell you it needs?

This type of work in coaching is called integrating The Shadow. Instead of trying to control our inner environment, it serves us better to acknowledge and interpret what is going on inside, even if it feels wrong, uncomfortable, or scary.

With a coach as an empathetic and non-judgmental partner, you can create a safe space to explore the “dark” sides of your self that may feel like they’re hanging over your head, and may be begging you to give them attention.

Understanding and accepting that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and that darkness also has a place, keeps that darkness from taking over and controlling you so that you can continue in that self-driven forward motion you created with your intentionality and alignment.

4. Stop wasting your energy on the wrong things.

Knowing what you can control and what you cannot is an essential part to spending your energy in the places that serve you (and your goals) best.

Early on in my relationship with my coach, we uncovered a pattern of mine to try to herd or control other people. While I have skills in coordination, facilitation, and leadership, I had grown up as the oldest child and still tried to “coordinate” and “educate” family members who had not asked me to do that, and on whom my efforts were, frankly, wasted. My coach asked me, “What else could your energy be free to do if you stopped trying to control things that are not yours to control?” Or, what else could be possible if that wasted energy was freed up?

In coaching sessions with my own clients, I like pointing out potential areas of wasted energy by noticing how they’re expressing situations to me. I reflect back and say things like, “Wow, that feels really heavy,” or “It sounds like you’re spending a lot of your energy thinking about this.” From there, we discuss how those reflections landed with them and potentially have a shift in mindset around the utility of the energy being spent.

You can partner with your own coach around frustrations and anxieties (signs of over-directing energy) arising for you as you navigate your personal and professional environments, to identify old patterns, limiting beliefs, and convictions that may not be serving your higher good or the success of your goals.

5. Start orienting toward and creating possibilities.

Challenges like fear, failure, and, well, 2020, can bog us down in them if we provide them with too much attention. In The Evidence-Based Coaching Handbook, Stober and Grant say, “In many respects it is easier to discuss and analyze existing problems than to shift attention toward developing responsibility and personal action.”

This is another way of saying that energy is being wasted on the wrong thing, the problem, and so the problem feels magnified. Were we to shift, utilizing our coach, to recognizing solutions and possibilities, our attentions would be focused on the actions we must start to take and the weight of the situation would be shifted into the action plan.

While it is so important to do the work with your Shadow, to talk through and integrate your challenges with your coach, it is equally if not more important to then perk up and ask, “what is the next step that wants to be taken?”

Luckily, it’s your coach’s job to know when it’s time to pivot and ask you what you have learned from this challenge and how you might apply that learning to action steps going forward. Through your sessions together, you’re being coached into a solutions-focused mindset that will continue moving you forward even between sessions.

So, what do you think? Will 2021 be your year, and how might you utilize coaching to transform your life this year?

If you decide to look for a coach, here are some quick tips to finding the right partner for you:

Look for someone who is trained according to International Coach Federation (ICF) standards, or who holds an ICF credential. Because coaching is an un-regulated field, many people call themselves coaches when they do not have coach-specific training or may actually be a skilled consultant in a particular skill area. Coaches aligned with the ICF have met high educational and professional requirements, adhere to a set of ethical standards, and they pursue continuing education to give you the very best coaching experience. Coaches with an ICF credential have had their coaching evaluated by seasoned professionals in the industry. You can search for an ICF coach, here.

Because coaching is an un-regulated field, many people call themselves coaches when they do not have coach-specific training or may actually be a skilled consultant in a particular skill area. Coaches aligned with the ICF have met high educational and professional requirements, adhere to a set of ethical standards, and they pursue continuing education to give you the very best coaching experience. Coaches with an ICF credential have had their coaching evaluated by seasoned professionals in the industry. You can search for an ICF coach, here. Interview several coaches to find the right fit. Most coaches offer free discovery calls prior to signing on with their services, and you want to work with someone who you “click” with. The key to successful coaching is for the client to feel comfortable enough to share personal things with a coach, because the more open and honest you can be, the more you can uncover, and the deeper your transformation will be.

Most coaches offer free discovery calls prior to signing on with their services, and you want to work with someone who you “click” with. The key to successful coaching is for the client to feel comfortable enough to share personal things with a coach, because the more open and honest you can be, the more you can uncover, and the deeper your transformation will be. Decide what kind of coaching you’re looking for. Do you need more guidance in your professional life? In your spiritual direction? In a life transition? You can find specific coaches for all of this! Being able to articulate what you’re looking to work on together will help your prospective coach to decide whether they’re a good fit with you, too.

May 2021 usher in a new way of being for you! To your adventure!