Cody Benjamin Harris
By: Melanie Harris
Tags: Natural Birth, Birth, Labor And Delivery, Home Birth, Midwives

Brief background: After almost 4 years of struggling with infertility and trying to conceive, I became pregnant through In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). Once pregnant, I knew I wanted something different for this baby’s entrance into the world. I dug deep into reading everything I could get my hands on and talking to anyone I knew who had had a natural home birth. The more Ben and I found out, the more excited and at peace we became with our decision to use midwives for my care, and have our baby born at home.

During my 39th week of pregnancy, I became super intentional about encouraging labor. My due date was approaching and I wanted to avoid going over, if at all possible. I had started doing some natural methods to bring it on, and I also talked to Cody every single day. I let him know he had permission to come out; that we wanted him and loved him and were ready to meet him.

Friday night, 4/17, I jokingly told Ben we should have our last supper. It would be our last date night as a family of two (take out at the house of course) because… oh that’s right, we were having a baby during the COVID-19 pandemic. Sushi was on the menu, our favorite!

Although Cody’s due date was just two days away at this point, I had very little signs of prodromal labor and thought for sure I would be going over my due date. Well, he showed us! The very next morning at about 5:00am, my water broke. Guess my intuition of a last supper worked! We were getting the show on the road!

Contractions came on slowly after my water broke and I did my best to ignore this early part of labor. I didn’t know how long of a day I was in for and knew that I didn’t want labor to stall. So I ate a little something, did some laundry, we finished my birth space, and relaxed and watched a movie. I took mini cat naps during the movie, but as the afternoon approached, my contractions started ramping up and I’d wake up with each one. The nerves and excitement hit me — this was happening!

Ben and I started timing my contractions at this point and we were texting and calling our midwife with updates throughout the day.

Just before 5:00pm, things really picked up. I threw up, which signaled the next stage of labor, and contractions were now around 5 minutes apart. We timed the contractions for an hour and sure enough, this progression continued on. We were getting closer!

As we waited for our birth team, I walked around the house, and primarily labored over my yoga ball. I listened to worship music. I reminded myself that 300,000 women were giving birth with me that day. It was just Ben & I during this time and it was so special. This was another of my favorite parts of the whole experience, just being with Ben and knowing that our lives were about to change forever.

Our lead midwife Tiffany arrived just before 7:00pm. She had the rest of our birth team slowly join us over the next hour. Kelsey (midwife), Rachel (midwife in training), Breann (doula), and Brittni (photographer).

Contractions continued to pick up in intensity, so Ben and Tiffany started filling up the birth pool. Getting in there felt amazing. Tiffany encouraged various positions, and reminded me to keep my voice as low as possible and face and lips relaxed. During each contraction, I took the opportunity to pray and thank God for bringing my baby one step closer. I’d frequently say mantras and positive affirmations to myself, reminders that I was strong, capable, and that my body was made for this.

Birth is seriously so much psychological — as much or more-so than physiological. If you’re expecting and haven’t read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, please do!

After just a couple hours, a wave of intensity hit. Transition. This made me nervous and scared, but I was also relieved to be at this next stage because it meant my baby was almost here.

I can’t say enough about each person that was there for me. The love, support, and encouragement was felt the entire time. As I looked at Ben or a member of my birth team, I was met with sweet tears, smiles, and told I was doing so incredibly well. Their belief in me was empowering. I felt so capable, so strong, and so safe in those moments.

The time to push came whether I was ready or not. My body told me it was happening before my mind could catch up. Fetal Ejection Reflex (FER) is a REAL thing. I remember my Midwife Tiffany saying, “you’re going to be meeting your baby soon.” I almost didn’t believe it. “I am!?” and she excitedly said, “it sure sounds like it!” It still hadn’t hit me just how close I was, but it didn’t matter because my body led the way.

Pushing in total lasted just over 2 hours long. At some point, I was encouraged to move out of the birth pool and go to the bathroom and sit backwards on the toilet. I was struggling to get past a certain point and stalled a bit in getting Cody’s head out. I thought this suggestion was CRAZY. How could I possibly get out of the birth pool and walk across the house in the late stages of labor!?

After a little more encouraging, I took that walk, and what happened next was the game changer. I labored backwards on the toilet through about 5 of the most intense contractions yet. The movement, change in position, and gravity was just what my body needed.

I knew I wanted to get back in the birth pool as I wanted to deliver Cody in the water. So in between contractions, I got back in and finally! The progress we were looking for!! His head began to crown and I felt the ring of fire that I often heard about. That hurt like a mother!

As Cody’s head came out, he was presenting with a nuchal hand — meaning his hand was clenched in a fist up by his face. Ben was behind me in the birth pool at this point and was able to see this as Cody looked up at him from under the water. What a trip! Seeing Cody’s presentation, Tiffany carefully opened up his hand so that I could safely push him out. Just one more push is all it took at that point! At 11:37 pm, his body came shooting out and Ben and I both caught him — bringing Cody up through my legs and out of the water, safely into my arms.

Believe it or not, I couldn’t believe it was over. 19 total hours of labor and I was actually surprised at how quickly Cody was here. I was instantly crying and exclaimed, “I did it! I did it!” He was healthy and perfect, and I felt relief and joy and SHOCK.

I stayed in the birth pool to deliver the placenta and then made my way out (still attached to Cody by the cord) and I got on my bed. After we checked on my lady parts and decided to stitch up just one tear from delivering my big boy, Ben cut his cord. Expecting mamas — check out the benefits of delayed cord clamping.

Next came Cody’s newborn exam and his stats: Cody weighed in at a surprising 9 pounds 8 ounces, 21 inches long, and a 14.75 inch head! Woah baby!

The best part of home birth is being HOME of course. I was now able to get into my shower to clean up, while everyone cleaned up the house, made us some food, and allowed us to take our time and do what we wanted. I absolutely loved being in the comfort of my own home.

Before we knew it, we were alone with our snuggly baby. We could not believe this little guy was really earth side with us. I was on a high from all those love hormones and didn’t sleep a wink. Just stared at my baby and kept him on my chest all night long. I reflected back on the entire day and what I had just done. “There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.”

Cody Benjamin, you are so adored. Welcome to the world, my sweet love.