Small talk your way to becoming an influential UX designer
By: Reem Alwahabi
Tags: Careers, Coronavirus, UX, Product, Remote Working

I am a self-taught UX designer who made the transition from architecture in 2019. My first day of work at a real-life tech company was a something of a culture shock. I had always worked in design agencies and boutique architecture firms where I sat shoulder to shoulder with my fellow designers, ready to help each other out in an instant. In contrast, I was now working not only with a team of 10 UX designers (spread company wide), but I also supported two agile teams of developers, engineering managers, and product managers. I had to quickly learn the ins and outs of the complex technical requirements, business KPIs and the needs of our users, while mastering this whole UX thing as I went along.

Spoiler Alert: I eventually found my way around the place, through a deliberate regime of small talk.

There is a reason why one of the top skills required for UX designers today is not mastery of design tools but communication skills. Learning software can be done through practice; learning design patterns is about copying and adapting what is out there, but understanding your product, business, and users, this cannot be achieved by just quietly doing your homework.

UX design is about an amplified multi dimensional level kind of team work. This is across teams, disciplines and hierarchies in an organisation.

Small talk can be described as pointless chatter. “It’s “small” because you talk about unimportant things, in a way that fills up silences and makes you both feel more comfortable and friendly with each other.” The smallness of the conversation can be a feel like a burden to many but I prefer to focus on the second half of this definition, making people feel comfortable with one another. Here is how small talk helped me become a better UX designer and how it can maybe help you.

Small talk helps you better navigate an organisation.

It might help to think of small talk as the opportunity to collect little nuggets of knowledge about our co-workers. Collecting these nuggets every day helps paint a picture of a someone beyond the operational facts we learn in a workday.

You may quickly discover more things you have in common with your co-workers and develop a rapport with one another. It is equally important to recognise who hates small talk wholly and treat them differently. Starting a new job, there is an initial scramble to understand the culture, business and get to know your colleagues. Friendly chatter helps us identify quickly who the possible go-to people are when problems arise. We can use these conversations to help us draw a map of knowledge and influence. The sooner you build a support system at work, the faster you can solve problems and become an influential designer.

Small talk is a gateway to more meaningful conversations.

One of my favourite colleagues is an Engineering Manager who I eventually small talked into a friendship. He was quick to warn me that he despises small talk. Whenever we chat, I come up with creative ways to gauge his mood. How many meetings have you had today? On a scale of 1–10, how productive was your day?. My camouflaged small talk helped us evolve our discussions out of the realm of day to day pleasantries.

Think of small talk as the quest for stories about people’s days and life. These stories help you build better connections at work and can turn colleagues into friends. This one doesn’t apply just for UX, but friendships at the office can make work a a real joy. I benefited immensely from the support of my new found friends at work, and our conversations and often heated debates, were a great way for me to learn and think more holistically about the product I was working on.

Small talk helps create a collaborative atmosphere.

I desperately crave harmony at work and in life. As an ENFP personality type, I am also hypersensitive to awkward social situations. I practice small talk in an attempt to make people feel more relaxed. Since the switch to remote work, fewer people seem to make the extra effort to be friendly during video conferences. By opening up a dialog at the beginning of these meetings, the entire tone can change and become more collaborative. This can be a great time to ask a question about something you can see in their background or just break the silence with some chit-chat. When people feel more comfortable, they share their ideas and thoughts more readily.

Small talk will make you a better user researcher.

The exact same skills mentioned above will help designers conduct better user research. Beyond being a great communicator, this is one of the most sought after skills for designers. The most skilled moderators allow the conversation to flow naturally and let the interviews navigate seamlessly between tasks and questions. The candidate should have no idea the interview has even started.

The other side of the coin is moderators who skip small talk entirely and abruptly list off a bombardment of questions as they are read from the discussion guide. Dominating conversations in this way can mean that the testing environment becomes so unnatural that the results are less reliable. These kinds of tests lack fascinating off-hand insights, which can be some of the best learnings from user interviews. Use small talk as a tool to set the tone for a casual conversation, which hopefully leads to more reliable research and some more talkative users.

Small talk can help you navigate conflicts and mediate discussions.

A considerable part of the job is not only empathising with our users but with the many stakeholders involved in building a product. A healthy tension between Product Managers, Developers, and UX is fundamental for any successful product development process.

Small talk can be a perfect tool to break down tensions and let conversations become less volatile. A conversation about something outside of work can help everyone remain calm and civil. This should not play out in a manipulative fashion, but more of a reminder that the workplace’s misunderstandings should not strip us of our humanity. A bit of empathy for one another can go a long way toward coming up with the best resolutions as a team.

Small talk helps workshops and ideations run smoother.

This is a no brainer. Another highly sought skill for UX designers is running workshops and ideations. I have experienced my fair share of workshops ran by someone who awkwardly tries to engage a group of people in a lackluster manner. Remote workshops are even more difficult, and activating the group is about making everyone feel comfortable and engaged.

A UX designer should know who to invite and how to get everyone involved in the conversation. This is where the skills above become crucial in combination. Successful workshops are about facilitation, mediating conflicts, and fostering collaboration. No one is better suited than the friendly neighbourhood UX designer to pull it off

Small talk makes you adorably annoying.

I am unapologetic about how small talk has helped me grow as a designer and find my way around a complex organisation. I tend to focus on the adorable and not the annoying, so I am advocating for this approach. Some people won’t be into it and will probably ignore your social advances, which is totally fine. Participating in small talk is about being open to people and hoping a “How are you” could one day progress to a “Could you help me out?” Without the relentless friendliness and openness, I might still be feeling like I did on day one: Disconnected, lost, and not knowing where my place is in the organisation.

I know this kind of social proactiveness may seem insincere and ridiculous to the introverted designers out there. Nonetheless, I implore you to do it anyway. If you are the best designer in the whole world, you will not make an impact if no one knows who you are.

Remember being enthusiastic is worth 25 IQ points, so put on a smile, give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Phase 1: Small talk. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Profit.

References and fun reads:

Ogeleka, C. (2016, July 29). HOW TO TURN SMALL TALK INTO SMART CONVERSATION. Retrieved December 12, 2020, from https://medium.com/@christianachiogeleka/how-to-turn-small-talk-into-smart-conversation-c9d873ea1d3a

McAndrew, F. (2020, January 18). Why Small Talk Is a Big Deal. Retrieved December 12, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/202001/why-small-talk-is-big-deal

Chatting with a Purpose: Introverts and Small Talk. (n.d.). Retrieved December 12, 2020, from https://www.16personalities.com/articles/chatting-with-a-purpose-introverts-and-small-talk

Sterling, B. (2020, November 18). Life advice from guru Kevin Kelly. Retrieved December 13, 2020, from https://www.wired.com/beyond-the-beyond/2020/04/life-advice-guru-kevin-kelly/