Transmen Also Suffer Under Toxic Masculinity and Homophobia
By: G. L. Balend
Tags: Equality, Homophobia, LGBTQ, Toxic Masculinity, Transgender

Transmen Also Suffer Under Toxic Masculinity and Homophobia

Toxic masculinity and homophobia are as rampant within the FTM (female-to-male) transgender community as they are in the general male population

Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash

This may come as a surprise to some people, but toxic masculinity and homophobia are as rampant within the FTM (female-to-male) transgender community as they are in the general male population. That doesn’t mean every transgender man is toxic or homophobic, but it is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Toxic Masculinity

What is toxic masculinity? This is an oft-debated topic, but when used academically, it refers to traditional stereotypes that can lead to the excusing of harmful or toxic behaviors, including bullying or even sexual assault. Men aren’t the only ones to blame for this because even some women perpetuate the toxic masculine stereotypes. In some cases, men can’t even order dessert without being viewed as something lesser.

Yet, many people — mostly men — deny that toxic masculinity even exists. Those who do often become defensive and make excuses, stating that not every man is toxic. Those who deny its existence often are guilty of it themselves and fail to understand how toxic their behavior is.

However, what has surprised me is how many transgender men display toxic behaviors towards other transmen and sometimes even towards men in general. Many transmen experience this backlash, especially online. Everything from being belittled for not wanting to do our own hormone injections to wanting to wear nail polish. Some going so far as to dictate how all transmen should behave as if we were all clones.

Homophobia

Another rampant problem within the FTM community is blatant homophobia, especially against other transmen who are attracted to men and identify as gay. Personally, I have been accused of not being transgender, merely because I am not attracted to women. No one’s sexuality invalidates their gender identity.

The fact that any man is viewed as less of a man just for who he’s attracted to has always struck me as wrong. As transgender men, we already face enough discrimination from the cisgender community, without trying to invalidate each other.

We need to remember that our gender identity isn’t tied to our sexuality. While most transgender men are attracted to women and identify as straight men, some of us identify as gay and are attracted to men. Still, others are bisexual, pansexual, or even fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum.

Transgender men are born with as much sexual diversity as our cisgender counterparts. None of these sexualities makes anyone less of a man. We are already part of a marginalized group, so we shouldn’t be marginalizing each other.

Fight your insecurities

A big driver behind this division in our community comes down to personal insecurities. Many transmen fight to be viewed as men in society, especially early in their transitions. This can lead them to overcorrect and turn to hyper-masculine stereotypes to feel valid.

However, lashing out at fellow transmen does no one any favors. This isn’t a competition to see who can be more manly. By tearing down other transmen just because some of us may have retained some of our feminine traits or identify as gay or bi will neither make you appear more masculine nor validate your gender identity. The only thing that can validate your masculinity is how you view yourself.

Some of us may find anything remotely feminine uncomfortable, but this does not give us the right to belittle those transmen who still enjoy more stereotypically feminine things. Cismen can enjoy shopping, wear nail polish, dress in drag, order dessert, or be gay. So can transmen.

Humans are a diverse species. That diversity is seen within all levels of society. While stereotypes have some basis in fact, many of us don’t fit perfectly within any given stereotype. What a boring world would this be if we did?

Let’s work together to set a better example for all men

As a community, we can do better. We must do better, to set an example for all men. Many of us experienced toxic masculinity, especially prior to our transition. Instead of emulating that behavior, we can set an example of how men should behave.

Let’s not give in to our insecurities and conform to the norm. Instead, let’s rise up and be shining examples of positive masculinity.