The Terrible Depression Advice That No One Asked For.
By: Shona Leigh Pope
Tags: Mental Health, Advice, Funny, Depression, Antidepressants

The Terrible Depression Advice That No One Asked For.

Because if there’s one thing you need while you’re already depressed, it’s advice from someone who read a relevant article online that one time.

Photo by Joshua Ness on Unsplash

When I started taking antidepressants, there were plenty of side effects I was prepared to take on.

Weight gain, insomnia, and mood swings strong enough to give everyone around me whiplash, my doctor warned me about them all. But they seemed like something I could handle in exchange for a chance to finally get a grasp on my mental health, so I decided to give it a try.

Is it the serotonin jackpot? No, not exactly. But so far, I’m doing okay and I can handle any pretty much any side effect those things throw at me.

Except for one thing that is; the advice and opinions of other people. Just to be clear, I did not ask for them and they certainly aren’t welcome.

Starting a Conversation

Talking about mental health normalizes the subject and breaks the stigma that acts as a barrier for those who need to seek help.

1 in 4 people experience mental health issues each year in England alone, and a significant number of these cases are going untreated. It’s about time we talked freely about it.

In case it wasn’t obvious, I am not embarrassed by my antidepressants by any means. I’ll joke about it, talk about it openly and I’ll answer any questions anyone may have.

Luckily for myself and my need for oversharing information, conversations surrounding mental health to some degree have been stigmatized.

Maybe I run with a depressing crowd, but I also regularly see the topic being mentioned on social media. It actually delights me that I am constantly learning more about my own condition on Instagram and Twitter through people sharing articles, infographics, etc. as it shows that people are actually taking an interest.

As a society, I honestly believe that we’re moving in the right direction in terms of removing the stigma surrounding mental health. Despite this, there is clearly a significant amount of evidence that suggests we have a long way to go.

And you don’t need to look too far to find this evidence: Mental Illness is often misrepresented in the media; there’s a general lack of support in place for those who are suffering from their mental health in the UK, and there’s a clear lack of knowledge of mental illness despite efforts to raise awareness in recent years.

Want an easy way to test this hypothesis? Bring up the fact you’re taking antidepressants.

Suddenly, you’re no longer simply catching up with an old friend; you’re talking to a certified mental health expert who has done some extensive reading on the subject via low-resolution memes someone shared on Facebook.

Depending on what kind of ‘expert’ you’re talking to, the conversation is probably going to follow one of four different approaches.

The “There’s nothing wrong with you” Approach

“There’s nothing wrong with you, just grab a pair of running shoes and eat healthily”.

I bought running shoes and I go running. So please, if this is your mindset, then can you explain to me when I’ll start feeling better? Because so far It’s terrible and I still have depression.

People who take this approach to mental health are the ones who typically won’t believe you have an illness if they can’t see it.

There’s also a strong possibility that you’ll find these people saying things like “I don’t mind Katie Hopkins because she’s not afraid to speak the truth” or “your generation is full of snowflakes”, but that’s beside the point.

They’re infuriating, but they’re few and far between. Now that mental health is being discussed more, it’s a lot harder to dispute its existence. In some ways, this makes this approach the easiest one to debate. However, if someone is taking this approach, chances are they’re too deep into this mindset to let anyone change it.

It’s infuriating. But if there’s one thing I can appreciate, it’s that they don’t try and hide behind this veil of fake empathy.

The “Natural is Better” Approach.

People using this approach won’t try and deny that you are depressed, but they will probably try and convince you that the answer to all your problems lies in a bottle of CBD oil as opposed to working with a professional.

They may try and encourage you to try something along the lines of witch hazel or turmeric while explaining how antidepressants are going to kill your creativity. That is if they can find the time to talk about it after they’re done telling you all about their gap year when they spent some time in India trying to ‘find themselves’.

I’m not denying that natural approaches work. You can use Aloe Vera on sunburn, You can use Lavender to help you sleep. You do what’s best for you.

But here’s some shocking news for all you “natural is better” people out there, you can also use prescribed medication to help your mental health too. Meditate on that for a while.

The “Life’s not so bad” Approach.

If you want to see me roll my eyes so hard that I burn 6 calories, tell me to stop being depressed because life’s not all that bad.

These people are the type of people who dream of owning a house with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a golden retriever. Conversations with them are bland and typically consist of small talk about the weather. It’s often painfully obvious that they haven’t experienced much hardship in their life at any point.

Usually, the conversation goes something like: “But you’re surrounded by so many great people”, “lots of people have it so much worse than you” or my favourite “Just cheer up”.

Because here’s the thing, I already know that. I’m not depressed because my life is bad, I’m depressed because I have depression.

Imagine telling someone who recently broke their leg that they should just learn how to appreciate the small things in life to feel better. Sounds ridiculous right? Well, it’s the same thing when it comes to depression. It is a condition that needs treatment.

The Right Approach.

So what is the right approach? Well, the answer is simple:

First; Actually listen to what people on antidepressants have to say.

Secondly, respond respectfully. Do not try to shoehorn your opinions into the conversation. If they don’t ask for it, don’t give it. Sounds simple, right?

It sounds simple because this is how a normal conversation should work regardless. Unless you are someone who is also experiencing the same thing, your opinion is not relevant here.

I can assure you that absolutely no one wants to hear about that article you read online once about how antidepressants are doing more harm than good, or how you think people with depression are making a fuss over nothing.

Maybe you think you’re helping by doing this, but you are not.

Do not try and lead a conversation on a topic you know nothing about, instead, try and learn something from someone more knowledgeable than you.

Are you someone who wants to try antidepressants?

If you think this is a step in the right direction for your mental health, then absolutely talk to your doctor about antidepressants.

Just be aware that they may not work for you. They’re not a magic pill that cures your depression, clears your skin, and advances your career and social life.

Whether you decide to try them or not. Do not feel ashamed. Do not let people tell you what the right approach is. Prepare yourself to experience some infuriating conversations in the future, but more importantly, trust your own judgement and do what feels right when trying to improve your own mental health.

And for everyone who has opinions on antidepressants that no one asked for, please, I beg of you, learn how to shut up and listen.