Does Everyone Have A Swinging Light On A Single Wire That Screams When You Touch It, Or Is It Just…
By: The Online Journal Of Thought
Tags: Adulthood, Lighting, Horror, Growing Up, Living Alone

Does Everyone Have A Swinging Light On A Single Wire That Screams When You Touch It, Or Is It Just Me?

by Kate Hammer

This is the first time I’m living in an apartment by myself, and I can definitely handle everything alone despite what everyone thinks, but I just wanted to check that everything is normal. Like, I got this, but looking for someone with advice I guess?? I’m sure the answer is so obvious!

It started the first day I moved in. At first, everything was going perfectly! I started unpacking, ordered a pizza, tracked the pizza online from the oven to my door, but when I went back to the kitchen to dig in — there was this really low-hanging light on a single, stripped wire. And I KNOW I would’ve remembered it being there before because it’s one of those really old bulbs, like the ones that are so old that people are buying them again but now they’re LED? But this one wasn’t LED. And I was like, what, do I hate the environment and/or am MADE of money? I had to get that light turned off! ASAP!!!

It started to swing back and forth almost unrealistically slowly when I walked towards it, and it would flicker and make a really loud buzzing noise every time I would think about it??? Which was weird, but also, I’m sure it’s just because usually a roommate would deal with it. And sometimes thoughts and “lights buzzing so loud it shakes all of the silverware” aren’t connected at all. Either way, I knew I could handle it myself. All of my friends are having babies and putting money into accounts that are tax free?? The least I can do is live on my own.

So I went through every single light switch in the apartment, flicked it on, checked the light, flicked the switch again, checked the light again, and it would ALWAYS BE ON. This light was connected to nothing!

But I KNOW that’s not possible, and I told myself to think Candice, think! So I lifted up one of the ceiling tiles to try and track where the wires were going, you know? And HUNDREDS of bats just came streaming through the hole, screeching into my ear what sounded like my own name but backwards??? Three of them got trapped in my hair and they started biting my scalp looking for a way out, and I know it sounds like I’m complaining, but I’m sure this is normal tenant stuff and I’m super okay with it!!!

By the time I got the bats out of my hair and they turned into smoke (didn’t know that about bats!!), I was pretty tired so I ended falling asleep on the bathroom floor. I woke up standing in my closet — I slept STANDING UP!!! Can’t wait to use that one on my friends when they complain about being tired from their babies! It’s like, all of us get fatigued, you know? Also, I must’ve forgotten I owned it, but I woke up wearing a vintage white gown??? Like, legit from the 1800’s but in perfect condition!?!?! There’s a faint stain on the chest- I think red wine? — but it kind adds to it, you know?

Anyway, when I went to the kitchen the light was STILL swinging back and forth, even though there wasn’t ANY draft! I even held my breath for as long as I could to see if that was what made it move.

I ended up passing out — apparently for like a week! My parents were mad that I hadn’t called them but it’s like, hello living on your own takes time, Dad, give me space!!! I would’ve asked him about the rash I was getting on my thigh that looks like Latin? Something like: Mors Venit, but it might be French!?! Maybe the years of immersion are coming back! I didn’t tell him anything because I don’t want him to think I’m having trouble. I can do this!!!!

I was kind of worried about sleeping for a week, but I know that moving is really stressful and I honestly just think I’m exhausted from living on my own for the first time. And I couldn’t BELIEVE that light was on for an entire week, so I decided to just unscrew it, but when I touched it — the light screamed in a thousand different voices that ached from the pit of hell itself, and I could see my entire family’s really unflattering past!?!? I honestly don’t know, it was pretty overwhelming — not that I’m complaining! — but my fingers were stuck to it like glue, so I think I may have lost another week??

I’m not sure, but the walls are bleeding, the windows are always on fire, and when I blink the mirror doesn’t blink back?? And I KNOW this is probably just regular housing stuff and I can definitely deal with it, but my landlord is a pale lady with a ribbon around her neck and she won’t say words, but just strokes the ribbon a bunch.

Any advice appreciated! Thnx!! ❤