Life at 102
By: Nancy Peckenham
Tags: Family, Aging, Health, Longevity, Positive Thinking

My mother turned 102 on Sunday. She arrived at her party dressed in a powder blue wool jacket, her face animated by a smile she could not control. She didn’t even try.

She basked in the glory of the day, aware that she had made it to another milestone, unlike any family member before. With a small group of friends and family gathered around her, she agreed that she was getting “kind of old.”

What’s it like to be 102? As in all of life, much depends on your state of mind. I see my mother daily and can report that she takes pleasure in each new day.

“Having a sense of humor is key to old age,” she announced after eating cake at her party. “And never hold a grudge.”

Her eyesight has almost completely failed but she sees sunshine when she looks out the window, even when it is rain. It used to bother me when I was younger that my mother rarely acknowledged any emotion that wasn’t upbeat. Now I see that her positivity allows her to savor life while it boosts the spirits of her elderly neighbors in the assisted living home. I find peace myself when I follow her lead.

My mother made up her mind decades ago that she would never complain. She doesn’t even grimace when she stands up, despite the back pain from three compacted vertebrae.

“What difference would it make if I talk about my aches and pains? No one listens anyway,” she often says with a chuckle.

Her short-term memory loss can be another blessing. She may feel a shooting pain from time-to-time but when she is settled in a comfortable chair or talking to friends, she doesn’t remember that she ever had any discomfort.

My mother isn’t looking for sympathy. Having someone to talk to is at the top of her list. The social skills they taught her at Simmons College back in the 1930s make it easy for her to break the ice with strangers. They are drawn to this tiny little lady who puts two hands on the top of her walker and bends her head back to look into their eyes. Who could walk away without greeting her in return?

Longevity doesn’t just come from a positive attitude, however. If it did, we wouldn’t lose good folks at a younger age.

Genetics play a role and the ones you get are often the luck of the draw. My mother had three sisters, one died at age 66, another at 72 and the third in her mid-80s. It’s hard to say what genetics factors are at play in mother’s long life. Scientists have only begun to explore the relationship between genes and health. It’s an exciting field but one with miles of work to be done.

Another factor in my mother’s longevity is the amount of physical activity she took on later in life. In her 60s, she spent more time gardening, and continued to tend a huge perennial flower garden into her mid-80s. She never asked for help to lug around soil or dig up roots. Being on her hands and knees seemed to give her a boost.

Taking a walk in the woods at age 93. Photo by the author.

Once she moved into an apartment, walking became her activity of choice. All year round she would travel on foot, up and down hills and around town. Drivers occasionally stopped their cars to offer her a ride. She always declined.

As a result, when my mother fell at age 99 and fractured her pelvis, the physical therapist was impressed by how quickly her strong little legs could rebound. She was hospitalized twice in the past year with pneumonia and the doctor’s prognosis was always grim. She surprised them both times and rebounded, heading home after two days.

My mother can still get around under her own power, with a walker, but I can see her strength is starting to wan. She spends more time in her recliner, says she is tired more often than before. Sometimes she mumbles about people who are no longer living and I wonder if she is peering into the other side.

A friend of mine who is a psychic says she has seen the spirits of my father and my grandmother visiting my mother’s room.

The day after her birthday party we were talking about who attended and what we did. Because of her memory loss she has a hard time getting a picture, so I tried to describe as many details as I could, hoping one may ring a bell.

After a few minutes, she asked the date and, after telling her, I added “only 364 days til your 103rd birthday!”

She grinned, tickled by the challenge of living another year.

Read more about life as we age at Crow’s Feet.