Saudi Arabia — The Home of Islam?
By: Sebastian Farmborough
Tags: Middle East, Saudi Arabia, Muslim, Saudi, Islam

(Huraymila, Saudi Arabia)

Given that circa 1.8 billion Muslims the world over pray towards the Ka’bah in Saudi Arabia each and every day. The kingdom itself is also an irrefutable moral focal point.

However, what is the country really like? And does it measure up to such a prestigious title?

The vast majority of Saudis are peaceful natured people to whom religion is central to the way in which they lead their lives.

(Al Turaif, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia)

To illustrate this, while in the desert one winter, the father of a close Saudi friend of mine turned to me and gave me a flower, which he had plucked from amongst the endless waves of sand. Despite such a thing being quite inappropriate in England, where I am from, I found it very touching that he was offering me something that was so precious and scarce in this arid land. It was particularly powerful because at that time, we were unable to communicate linguistically.

When I first arrived in the kingdom in 2003, most families had between 6 and 7 children, with some many more still. What I admire about large families is the warmth that you can feel amongst them. They have so many cousins that they have absolutely no need to look for friends outside of the family.

While it must be tremendously challenging for the parents during the early years. Later, the children can support each other and the family as a whole can become a real economic powerhouse. The father of a friend of mine collects $500 from each of his 5 sons every month and gives the total to the son that is struggling most that month. What a fantastic method of making sure that none of them are left behind.

(Tahlia Street, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia)

Even the bonds between friends are very strong, they are more fraternal or sororal in nature and due to gender segregation, Saudis often express far greater affection towards members of their own sex than would be customary in other cultures. I remember receiving a call from a male Saudi friend that I had not spoken to for several weeks and he sounded rather distressed: “What’s wrong? Aren’t we friend’s anymore?” I just was not used to that level of emotion or connection between men. Even in their istirahas (a sitting room away from the home) men typically sit so close to each other. From an English perspective, uncomfortably close, but for them, it is normal.

Likewise, with women, I often see them holding hands as they cross the road. It looks so cute and epitomises just how warm their culture is.

For the most part, Saudis are friendly and extremely generous and in some cases obscenely so. Do not ever state that you like something that belongs to a Saudi, unless you are prepared to keep it, because all to often, they will give it to you and not take no for an answer.

(Nahayat Al Alam, Saudi Arabia)

I have known Saud Al Saadoun (pictured above) for 5 years now and in spite going out for dinner together pretty much every month. He has yet to let me pay. He always makes excuses: “Oh, you’re going on holiday.”, “You just got back from holiday.”, “it’s raining.” And the list goes on… I found it deeply frustrating, because I genuinely liked him and did not want him to think that I was taking advantage. While he would never accept money, I soon realised that he would accept gifts. So every time I feel that he has spent far too much on me, I exact my revenge and buy him a decent present.

Sometimes in Saudi Arabia, there are random acts of kindness that leave you in utter disbelief. A relative of a friend of mine broke down on the motorway with his family and along came a stranger, who insisted on helping. The stranger gave him the keys to his own car so that he could take his family home before returning to resolve the problem. Where else in the world does that happen?

The giving of water is so important in Saudi Arabia, not only owing to the oven-like temperatures in the summer, but in particular due to Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) referring to it as the best charity. I often see Saudis leave a crate of water bottles in a park for anyone to take. I routinely run around my neighbourhood and quite a number of times cars have slowed down to give me a bottle of water. The first time it happened I was apprehensive, thinking that they were trying to trick me into their car, but no, they just said hello, gave me the bottle of water and drove off. I have lived in and visited many countries and have yet to experience that anywhere else.

Similarly, Saudis are exceedingly generous when it comes to food and to feeding those less fortunate and not just in Ramadan when you can see them distributing meals to labourers prior to the breaking of the fast. A great many Saudis make a concerted effort not to waste food, with the remnants of meals being offered to those less fortunate, who happen to be in the vicinity.

Saudi hospitality can even rival their tremendous generosity. On a trip to the North organised by a friend, who belongs to the Ar-Ruwaili tribe (the tribe that Lawrence of Arabia fought with) I was greeted at the airport, settled into my hotel and then driven to a farm where I was to welcomed by my friend’s relatives. Expecting a small group, I was shocked to see that over 50 tribal members had gathered to greet a complete stranger. They had sacrificed two sheep for the occasion and I was so overwhelmed that all of this was just for me.

(Al Huluwa, Saudi Arabia)

The respect shown towards elders within the Saudi community is quite staggering. They are always given pride of place at gatherings and are listened to attentively. I recall being at a gathering in a tent with a prince in attendance. Also among the guests was an elderly gentleman. I was amazed to see that when a new guest appeared, they first greeted the elderly man, before the prince. Where I come from, we greet the most important person first, but in Saudi Arabia the oldest person is the most important as they have the greatest amount of advice and experience to convey.

Personally, I find Saudis hilarious and I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived and became aware of how similar their sense of humour is to the sarcasm we enjoy in England. They are not afraid to make fun of themselves and play up to Western stereotypes.

(‘Any weather is Pepsi weather’ Hautat bani Tamim, Saudi Arabia)

Their strong personalities and desire to express themselves, regardless of how conservative they might be is more than evident.

(Haraj bin Qasim, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia)

Something which I greatly appreciate about Saudi Arabia is that the people welcome new technology and combine it with their culture rather than allowing it to replace it. A close friend of mine, Omar Al Hussain (pictured below) prefers using solar panels to produce electricity for his tent, because the generator makes far too much noise.

(Hautat bani Tamim, Saudi Arabia)

Were I to cease writing at this point, then I would say and I am sure that you would all agree. Indeed, Saudi Arabia is the Home of Islam; it is an unquestionably utopian land. However, that would fall quite short of the truth and not represent an accurate reflection of the nation as a whole.

In general, a Saudi’s word does not mean a great deal. They typically say “yes” to something without having any real conviction. Many even use inshallah (God willing) as a means of escape. i.e. it was God that willed it not to happen, not me. Coming from a land where a person’s word is their bond. I found this enormously difficult to deal with. I have learnt to cope with it by expecting the promise to be broken or by asking someone who I know is reliable. Having lived in Saudi Arabia for 8 years now, I only know 4 Saudis, who are completely reliable. So, this clearly is a major issue for those wishing to interact and work with them.

Punctuality is also a significant problem. For Saudis, time is a very loose concept and sooner or later you can expect them to keep you waiting. Sometimes, they arrive excessively late and have pretty much no apology to offer. This used to infuriate me when I first arrived, although I have learnt to deal with it by always having a backup activity so as not to waste my time.

How a Saudi behaves within their home or workplace is far removed from how they operate in public when they are anonymous. Their natural aversion to rules means that the roads and streets in Saudi Arabia are unpredictable to say the least. It is not uncommon for cars to be seen driving the wrong way and on the whole, their manner is very aggressive. Essentially, Saudi drivers are selfish, inconsiderate and reluctant to use the brakes. They rarely stop to give way or let a pedestrian cross the road and when they do, it is quite a surprise. The streets themselves are ladened with rubbish and sadly the same can be said of their vast desert landscapes too. I often see them pull up in their cars, open their doors and just pour rubbish onto the street when a bin is only meters away or even throw a bag of rubbish out of the window while driving on the motorway, at a risk to the safety of those behind.

Saudi Arabia used to be enormously racist. In 2003, I was astounded when I was frequently asked to come to the front of the queue in restaurants, simply because I was white, and even in front of Saudis. I also recall how Saudis used to push labourers out of the queue for a cashpoint. Thankfully, this has changed quite markedly and largely due to the King Abdullah Scholarship Program, which enabled hundreds of thousands of Saudis to study abroad and experience alternative perspectives around the world. Many of whom became victims of racism themselves, returning to the kingdom with far greater empathy and awareness towards foreigners, having been actually been one.

While the streets of Saudi Arabia are the safest I have ever experienced in terms of crime. Cheating is rife. I, myself have been cheated twice by two different sponsors and unfortunately, due to how exposed foreigners are under the sponsorship system there was not much I could have really done to prevent it. Many Saudis are unscrupulous and they have absolutely no qualms about cheating a ‘non-believer’ or even another Saudi, as long as they are not from their own tribe. Some even used the guardianship system to extort money from their own women. The impact of this behaviour is worsened by both corruption and nepotism, which work in tandem to erode the enforcement of the law. To my mind, cheating and stealing are one in the same. The end result is the same, so why on earth would they be treated any differently? However, in Saudi Arabia, they are, and to the detriment of those targeted.

Of course, in England we have our fair share of vile, corrupt people, but sooner or later the law catches up with most of them and the prospect of punishment serves as a deterrent for many. However, in Saudi Arabia the lack of law enforcement hurts everyone in the long-term, even the crooks themselves. Chronic injustice engenders a climate of distrust. Even as a 22-year-old Business Studies graduate back in 2003 I could have told investors that there was absolutely no sense in spending $7.8 billion to build the King Abdullah Financial District, how could you possibly have a financial hub in a country so devoid of trust?

Had I only described the negative aspects of life here you would be forgiven for thinking what a hellish place it is and for some here, particularly those being abused, be it physically or financially, this is all they see. So when foreign media agencies interview them and the publications circulate around the world. Outsiders receive a very erroneous impression of what the kingdom is really like. While what those interviewed say may well be true. It is by no means a complete account of the country and it represents a great disservice to the huge number of decent, law abiding Saudis out there, who are extremely kind, generous and hospitable.

I appreciate that some Saudis will be upset with with me for criticising aspects of their culture. However, I believe that criticism is important. Without it, how can you be aware of your weaknesses? How can you improve upon them?

What a truly utopian land it would be if at least some of the negative points that I have mentioned could in part be abated. Then, Saudi Arabia could live up to its responsibility and be genuinely considered The Home of Islam and the people would be able to say that with even more pride and without being ridiculed by human rights campaigners.

I for one, do not subscribe to the notion that Saudi Arabia must change completely and become more like the West. It would be much more desirable to pick and choose the changes that suit them. There are some truly beautiful aspects of life in the kingdom that the West would do well to learn from and that should not be lost. Having said this, Saudi Arabia clearly has issues that prevent it from being accepted on an equal footing with other great nations. Resolving some of these will only improve the quality of life for its citizens and strengthen the country’s position in the world terms.

Personally, despite some enormously negative experiences, I find it difficult to hate Saudi Arabia, because while a Saudi may stab you, a whole host of Saudis will gather around and try to heal your wounds. If only there was the kind of strict law enforcement that would deter them from stabbing you in the first place.

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