Are You a Feminist Who Has Given in to Normalized Patriarchal Practices?
By: Ruchi Das
Tags: Ideas, Patriarchy, Feminism, Women, Womens Rights

The Flaws in Some Feminist Concepts

I decided to delve into the psychological and social aspects of her decision to understand why women-especially those who call themselves modern-day educated feminists-give into patriarchal practices.

Not a violation of rights but rather a duty

In “Patriarchal Beliefs, Women’s Empowerment, and General Well-being”, Preeti Rawat defines stridharma or pavitradharma (duties and obligations of a woman) as one of the major supporting pillars of normalized patriarchy in India. This can be seen in the way a majority of Indian women are brought up with the ideals that household duties and certain responsibilities fall on their shoulders by virtue of their gender-which are not necessarily so. Cooking, taking care of domestic expenses, taking care of children and in-laws are considered to be a woman’s duties in the household, even though there are no limitations that prevent men from carrying out the same tasks with equal abilities. To quote Abeda Sultana’s article “Patriarchy and Women’s Subordination: A Theoretical Analysis”:

“It is patriarchal ideology which makes us feminine and masculine, which assigns different roles, rights and responsibilities to women and men. But those so called ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ qualities are human qualities and not specific to either men or women.”

Another supporting aspect of such normalized patriarchal practices is to avoid conflict of interest, as Mary Becker states in her article “Patriarchy and Inequality: Towards a Substantive Feminism”. According to her, men and women acknowledge and live as per their roles defined in society- husbands, wives, parents. To fulfill such roles, avoidance of a conflict of interest even if it leads to a violation of one’s feminist ideals and fundamental right to equality is chosen as the safe way out instead. That’s why, women and even men surrounding them, chose to settle with the norms than face a conflict of interest.

No wonder my friend and her husband gave in to the pressure of bearing a child. They must have thought it would be easy to give in to the norms than create a conflict of interest with their in-laws. I observed a similar exhibit in women around me who otherwise called themselves feminists but choose to give up on their partners if they were from the other communities They too did so to avoid a conflict of interest and eventual confrontation with their parents.

Liberal feminism’s untoward deal with patriarchy

Becker further reinstates that most modern-day feminist movements are dominated by liberal feminists- a group whose foundations are based on an individual’s autonomous choices and decisions as per their individual preferences. I place my friend and other women who have given into normalized patriarchal practices around me despite fostering feminist ideals in this category.

Because liberal feminism is consistent with patriarchy, this itself negates the concept of feminism. Patriarchy is willing to make peace with liberal feminism because in the words of Becker,

“Liberal feminism requires only that women be allowed to advance on the same terms as similar men in patriarchal institutions with patriarchal values.”

However, such kind of feminism sidelines more serious issues- such as letting women have the rights over their body-while placating them with formal equality in a way that agrees with patriarchy. No wonder why so many educated women feel their family is supporting their feminist ideals while crippling them in a lot of core situations such as choosing their life partners outside their community, having the right to dress according to their choice, and choosing whether or not they want to get married or have babies.

The two-faced foundation of selective feminism

I also came across the concept of selective feminism a few days ago. This term is broadly used in reference to women who choose to adapt to feminist ideals in certain favorable situations but shun them in others. A classic example is women who stand for their rights to choose their life partner but would totally judge women who decide not to enter the constitution of marriage. Or those who raise their voices to dress according to their choice but call a particular woman’s clothes too revealing if its length falls below the metrics of their comfort. Again, these sentiments are based on the ingrained patriarchy in our systems which gives certain women the idea that even “modern values” must be exercised within certain social boundaries.

What they don’t realize is that it is confirmed patriarchy that has drawn and decided upon these boundaries centuries ago upon which we subconsciously rest some of our feminist ideals even today.