Good Grief
By: Happiness Is Healthy
Tags: Love, Grief, Sharing, Funerals, Grief And Loss

Stephanie was enjoying the feeling of moving into a little two-bedroom home that was yellow with red trim that was within walking distance to the Salish Sea. She and her six foot seven inch tall husband Robert, who had stunning white hair and the white beard of a Norse god, were enjoying the move into their new home.

On the second day of moving into their new rental house Stephanie got a call from her short-tempered stepfather Don, letting her know that her mother Vicki had had a fall. A sick feeling came up in Stephanie’s tummy! Her mom had slid out of her wheel chair and fractured her left hip. The worst part of the slide out of the wheel chair event was that Vicki’s neck and shoulders were also injured in the incident. Stephanie knew that her mother’s boney neck and shoulders had already caused her much suffering in the past. This was the last thing Vicki needed, because Vicki had severe Rheumatoid Arthritis that bent and twisted her body like an old Arbutus Tree.

Vicki Sorensen Hart you can notice how the rheumatoid arthritis has gnarled her hands over the years!

Stephanie wondered whether her mom had another comeback left in her frail body. Don cared for Vicki with every fiber of his being. He brushed her hair, made her meals, cut up her meat and impatiently tended to her every need.

Stephanie called her mom on the third day after the fall, when she was taking a break from moving into the new house. As Stephanie spoke to her mom on the phone, it was becoming clear from the weak tone of Vicki’s voice that she was in unbearable pain. Living on Vancouver Island, a ferry and a plane ride away from her mother in St. George UT, a helpless feeling came over Stephanie.

Stephanie wondered how it would feel to have her mom pass away? Her father had died when she was only 15-years-young. Stephanie had found him as he was transforming back to pure energy, laying in the road that lead to her childhood dream farm, next to his red and silver Ford Ranchero. Today she was fifty-three years young. It had been 38 years since her dad went to meet his maker and Stephanie was still affected by his transformation back to pure energy.

Heavy on her mind as she unpacked boxes was whether she should go see her mom or not? As she put towels in the linen closet, her mind wandered to images of her mother’s body wracked with pain. “What is the best thing for me to do for my mom?” she pondered. The fourth day after the accident she called to see how her mom was doing. Stephanie asked her mom if she was willing to receive a distance healing session of Reiki from her willing daughter? Vicki surprised Stephanie by saying she would love a distance healing session.

Stephanie was thrilled that her mom said yes! “Mom” said Stephanie “it feels like the best place for me to do the healing will be at a beach near our home. So just give me a few minutes to get to the little beach, then I will call you back and we can start the session.”

For Stephanie it was a short beautiful walk to the beach where evergreen trees, blackberries and ferns flourished. The path led to a tiny beach of big black sharp hunks of shale. On the top of an ancient post, wagging in the waves was an old sign that read “Big Beach”. Even as Stephanie mentally prepared to connect to her mother’s energy body through Reiki, her heart erupted into the smallest of giggles. Stephanie was tickled by the irony of the words on the sign because the place where the earth met the water seemed more to her like a rock fortress than a “Big Beach”.

Stephanie found a flat rock to sit on, folded her long legs into the full lotus position, called her mom, they quickly reconnected then Stephanie hung up and proceeded to go into a deep state of meditation so she could connect to her mother’s energy body.

As soon as Stephanie closed her eyes and inhaled her first deep breath, in the meditation she was engrossed in the vision of her mind’s eye. It felt like Stephanie and her mom were floating like angels over her mother’s stark white hospital bed looking down on what appeared to be a large black raisin where Vicki’s body ought to have been laying. The next thing Stephanie knew, tears were freely flowing down her face, soaking her long brunette hair but it felt as if the tears were someone else’s tears, maybe the tears of her mom?

It felt strange to Stephanie to be witnessing the scene below them where her powerful, brilliant and caring mother was now more like a helpless lump of coal than Stephanie’s supportive role model.

After a few moments of imaginarily floating above the hospital bed with her mom as silent witnesses, that vision faded from her mind’s eye. In the next moment during the meditation she and her mom were hand in hand, floating down a well lit path toward a large group of energy bodies that seemed to exude love towards the two of them.

The energy bodies in the group were glowing, flowing and expressing a force that was comforting and exciting at the same time. It seemed the group was glad to feel both Stephanie and her mother. As they approached the group, the energy fields of the people in her mind’s eye came into focus.

Stephanie saw her dad with his wry smile, all four of her grandparents, many great grandparents, Gordy with the handle bar moustache and Ellen his wife with the cackling laugh, close friends of her parents that had transformed back to pure energy a few years earlier. The tears kept pouring out of Stephanie eyes while she was in this meditative state.

She and her mom were drifting closer to the celestial group of people, when all of a sudden her father James Lynn Sorensen’s ethereal energy body floated up to his two girls and took his wife Vicki’s hand from Stephanie’s hand. It felt good to feel her father’s presence so near and strong once again. Stephanie stood there alone as she witnessed her parent’s reunion. Jim had been waiting 38 years to be reunited with his beloved wife Vicki. When the ethereal hands of her parents touched her father’s light got brighter for a few moments. Stephanie felt her heart soar as she witnessed her parent’s reunion. Vicki was also welcomed by many of her loved ones that were patiently waiting to greet her as she shed her earthly form. A few moments later the vision in Stephanie’s third eye began to fade. The divine and etheric energy bodies from Stephanie’s vision grew dim and tears poured out of her like a river running at spring thaw.

As the vision of Stephanie’s loved ones dwindled out of her mind’s eye the smell of the Salish Sea entered into her awareness. She could feel the warm breeze of the July afternoon on her face drying her tears. The Reiki session with her mom had ended as peacefully as it had started.

Stephanie called to talk to her mom after the session, but Don said “the nurses at the hospital had just given her mom a shot of morphine so Vicki was unable to speak to her or anyone else.”

Stephanie felt at peace as she walked up the blackberry-lined path from “Big Beach”. She now knew in her heart it was time to book the plane ticket as Stephanie felt that her mom was going to be shuffling off her mortal coil at any moment now.

Stephanie booked the first flight she could get July 28th only two days to wait. On the day of the flight she hugged her sweet man, Robert, got on the plane and headed for SeaTac Airport, the stopover between Vancouver Island and St. George, Utah, where her mom and stepfather lived.

She landed safely in SeaTac and found the boarding gate for her next flight. Stephanie then easily found a seat to rest in for a moment as she waited for her next plane. She realized that she had not called her folks to tell them she was en route, so Stephanie phoned them up. Don answered saying “Hello” and Stephanie said “Hey Don I am at SeaTac waiting for the plane to bring me to St. George.” Don responded with trepidation in his voice. “Steffi”, he said. “Your mom passed away at 7:30 St. George time. That was just 30 minutes ago was the first thought she had. Stephanie sat there for a moment and wondered “Now what do I do?” She said, “Well Don, I think I will still come down since I am already en route.” She could hear the relief in Don’s voice that she was still on her way to see him.

Stephanie arrived at her parent’s home about twelve hours later at 6:30am the next morning after landing in Las Vegas at midnight. When Stephanie walked out of the airport to get the rental car, the air, even at midnight, felt like a blast furnace. This was the first time in Stephanie’s life that she had succeeded in staying up more than 24 hours in a row.

After arriving at her parent’s home, Stephanie brought her luggage into the guest bedroom and tried to settle in, but she felt restless. She wandered into the living room to find Don in a similar state to her own. “What would you like to do?” She asked Don. He replied, “I want to go buy Vicki a new dress to be buried in.” Stephanie thought of her mother’s closet that was bursting with beautiful brand new clothes but said “What a great idea.” Laughter rang out in Stephanie’s mind! So that is just what they did, with no sleep. They got into her rental car, drove to the nearest mall and went shopping for a dress for her mom to spend all of eternity in. Don picked out a lacy teal green dress with three quarter length sleeves for Vicki to be buried in and Stephanie agreed that it was stunning! Over the next few days she and Don shopped. Don needed a new suit that would be perfect for the solemn event. Stephanie felt that her mom would have loved the shopping part of the burial process! Vicki lived to shop! It was a lesson for Stephanie however; they needed a lot of things to help her mom cross over the rainbow bridge.

Stephanie got on the phone bought two new plots at the cemetery. Her step-dad Don wanted her mom to be buried next to him instead of with Stephanie’s father Jim where Vicki already had a spot paid for in the same cemetery! One of the hardest parts of the shopping process was buying the casket. Thinking of her mom being in that real hardwood casket with the stunning pink satin lining having only a stupid flower to look at for the rest of time was heart wrenching. Stephanie felt her mother would rather be looking at an image of her real father or any handsome man rather than the flower in a cameo circle! LOL LOL LOL The casket seemed really claustrophobic, to Stephanie, the image of her mom being alone in that box was really too much to bear! Tears poured out of her as she looked at the expensive wooden box. It amazed her at which events in life elicit such powerful emotions.

Stephanie’s mom was to have two “fun”erals one in St. George, Utah and one in Tacoma, Washington. It was Stephanie’s idea to call her mom’s services “fun”eral (a “fun”eral is a funeral that is “fun”). It was important to Stephanie that she made here mother’s burial a celebration. As the “fun”eral plans started to take shape Stephanie had an exciting idea: what if she gifted stuff to everyone that came to the “fun”erals?

You may wonder where the gifts would come from? Well, what everyone knew about Vicki was that she loved to shop. She spent hours every day watching QVC and HSN channels on the TV and buying her favourite items when they were on “hot sales”.

Vicki loved to buy jewellery, small kitchen appliances, Lock-and-Lock containers, expensive hand painted purses, fancy snacks, music CDs, stainless steel water bottles, body care products and vitamins. There was even over $600 worth of organic healthy chocolate!

Stephanie enjoyed creating large baskets of goodies so all the “fun”eral attendees would be able to choose something to remember Vicki by. The baskets were filled with fancy chocolates, chocolate covered pretzels, goat’s milk lip balms, deluxe goat’s milk body care products, age-defying creams of all types, small wallets, three matching Waterford crystal sea horses and a few watches that just needed new batteries to work.

The music Stephanie chose for the “fun”erals was mostly upbeat, and she included a version of Amazing Grace by Alan Jackson to touch the heartstrings of the guests.

It was so much fun sharing Vicki’s stuff at the “fun”erals that Stephanie created a memorial gifting party a few days after the last “fun”earl where she gave away 25 purses valued between $200 to $400 each, a bit of expensive jewellery, more goat’s milk body care products, vitamins of all kinds and Lock-and-Lock containers. She invited extended family, friends of her mom and Stephanie’s life long friend Julie and Julie’s three daughters everyone at the gifting party loved Vicki wholeheartedly. Stephanie also shared the healthy chocolate at all three events, as there was six kilos of organic healthy chocolate! LOL LOL LOL

It felt important to Stephanie to share her mother’s things with people that loved Vicki with the hope they would fondly remember her mother. Stephanie felt satisfied that this was the best way to keep her mother’s memory alive in the hearts of her friends and loved ones.

Stephanie learned shortly after the death of her mother that in Mexican Folk Lore there is the story of three deaths.

1. when you realize that one day you will die

2. when you actually die and

3. the last time anyone speaks your name.

Stephanie was glad she had gifted her mother’s stuff to everyone at the “fun”erals with the hope that they well keep speaking Vicki’s name before she even knew of this awesome Mexican Belief.