Why Millennials Are Writing “Why Millennials Are Leaving the Church” Articles
By: Riley Taylor
Tags: Christianity, Millennials, Faith, Writing, Religion

Every year since millennials came of age, there has been one article after another published about “Why Millennials Are Leaving the Church.” (Many, many are on Medium.)

Most of these pieces seem to be written by well-intentioned ex-Christians who are trying to provide a service: clue Boomers in to how to make their churches hospitable to emerging generations. They challenge church leaders to be more welcoming, more understanding, less dogmatic; to end the culture wars, stop the politics, and finish the judgmentalism.

Some of it is good stuff.

But as I read these pieces year after year, I can’t help but feel that we are living up to our established reputation as selfish and entitled. As a millennial myself (cue eye-roll) and a lead pastor, I want to clue other millennials into something.

This has all happened before.

The reality is that “young people” have been “leaving the church” for centuries. There’s always a good justification given. There’s always an accompanying social movement that makes the exodus feel like “I’m really part of something bigger than myself.” And there’s always an author seeking to justify the actions of that generation.

There’s nothing new about it, and there’s not much admirable about it.

That time Leo Tolstoy left his faith

As I have recently written, Leo Tolstoy also left his church (before it was cool to do so). And 140 years ago, he published a short memoir explaining why. Like most kids in Russia in his day, Tolstoy was raised orthodox Christian. But as a young man, he rejected the dogma of his priests, left his church, joined a company of well-respected writers, published a bunch of books and papers, and became a famous and wealthy author.

OK Boomer

Tolstoy is one of the most read, revered, and respected authors in the world. His books—classics such as War and Peace and Anna Karenina—have been translated into virtually every language. Tolstoy is to the novel as Spielberg is to the movie.

And still, as a middle-aged man, Tolstoy ended up depressed and in utter despair. He was on the outside of church and dogma and faith, just like he intended; and consequently—he was on the outside of hope, meaning, and life itself.

In his short memoir A Confession, Tolstoy explains, in stunning detail and brutal honesty, why he abandoned Christianity in favor of “rational thought.” At the beginning, he and his friends are obsessed with “progress” — the belief that human perfection is possible with enough education. Tolstoy and his friends believe that by hanging around the right people, by working hard to live a better life, and by solving life’s intellectual dilemmas, one can achieve perfection.

Progress includes the shirking of traditional dogma, in exchange for complete trust in the human capacity to better himself, on his own. It exists explicitly outside the established church. It thrives on pointing the finger to “what I grew up thinking” and broadcasting “boy am I glad I know better!”

Sound familiar?

Millennials today are not unlike Tolstoy and his generation. Unsatisfied with the dogma of their childhood, sick of hearing about the faith of their forebears, they opt to leave and try something else. They blame the church — the uncool programs (or the “too cool” programs), the messages devoid of practical wisdom, the lack of good answers to important questions, the missing ingredient of Jesus. Many of these critiques are valid and should be made (especially when it concerns a lack of grace).

But each of these critiques makes a crucial error: they place the blame on someone else (usually an older generation) and fail to recognize our own tendency to abandon faith on our own. The reality is that, even if we were left alone with no one to point the finger at, we’d tend to drift away from faith commitments. It is our basic nature to find an excuse—any at all!—to do what we want.

Tolstoy’s memoir doesn’t make this mistake; he is fully culpable, fully aware, fully responsible for how his life pans out. As he eventually comes to admit:

And it occurred to me that there might be something I did not yet know. — Leo Tolstoy, A Confession

The real reason why millenials leave the church

I like that line: “There might be something I do not yet know.” Millennials (here I speak in generalities, so bear with me) would be greatly served with more of this attitude. Only a generation guilty of narcissism and entitlement can point the finger at an entire institution and blame it for their lack of faith.

It’s like Blue Bottle Coffee pointing the finger of ridicule at Starbucks. Ummm, you owe Starbucks for your very existence, bro.

In the Bible, there is a reason given for why people reject belief in Jesus. And it’s a reason many of us might not want to hear: We’re infatuated with the world (1 John 2:15); we’re strangled by the weeds of worry (Matthew 13:7). However you say it, the point is the same:

It’s because we love something more than God.

Jesus put it best:

The light has come into the world,

and people loved the darkness rather than the light

because their works were evil. (John 3:19, ESV)

I’ve seen a fair share of my friends reject the faith they grew up with. Sometimes they leave in favor of another faith. Other times it’s due to unsatisfactory answers to key questions. Much of the time it’s because they simply want to do whatever they want. Sexual sin, usually; but also certain lifestyles, pursuits or friends. Most of the time, however, it’s a simple “drift,” a passive floating out to sea, as if the distractions of life are a rip current and we sit helpless on an inflatable.

I had strayed not so much because my ideas had been incorrect as because I had lived foolishly. — Leo Tolstoy, A Confession

At certain times, it is genuinely someone else’s fault—the church’s, or my own. Spiritual abuse, harm inflicted. Yeah, that’s happened. Who can deny that? But conversely, who can point any amount of blame at anyone else, without accepting some of it for themselves?

Another Russian author put it this way:

The line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. — Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

The core reason why any of us abandons the light of the faith, according to the Bible, is that we love the darkness more. But I have yet to find this reason on any “7 Reasons Why Millennials Are Leaving the Church” blogs. (It should be at the top.)

That time Leo Tolstoy found faith again

As Tolstoy searches and searches—sifting through intellectualism, scientific inquiry, philosophy, reason, money, possessions like some nineteenth century Solomon—he eventually comes to the end of his rope.

“The truth was that life was meaningless,” he admits.

This sudden realization nearly destroys Tolstoy. He begins to wonder how he can go on living when hopeless annihilation and death awaits him at the end of a short, pathetic life. He considers suicide, but is too weak. He tries hedonistic living, but in fleeting moments of present pleasure he can’t shake the thought of his future fate. Nothing works, nothing helps, nothing matters. Nothing.

But then, Tolstoy realizes that there is something. Something that millions—billions—of people around the world hold onto for meaning. Something that can set him free.

It is faith.

Faith is a knowledge of the meaning of human life, the consequence of which is that man does not kill himself but lives. Faith is the force of life. — Leo Tolstoy, A Confession

Faith answers the question, “Why am I here? What’s the point?”—which is an eternal question—with an eternal answer. Faith says, “God put me here. God has a purpose for my life. Somehow, some way, God wants me to serve him.”

The realization is like lightning striking. Suddenly there is light where there has only been darkness. Suddenly there is a future where there has only been uncertainty shrouded in hopelessness.

As Tolstoy says:

Without faith it is impossible to live.

Let’s acknowledge the problems with the church. Let’s reform! Let’s change! Let’s invest in future generations and shape our ministry to reach them. The church has been through worse, and has always found—in the gospel of Jesus Christ—the path forward. Let’s address grievances; let’s acknowledge prejudices; let’s solve problems and answer questions.

But let’s not do so with fingers pointed, waging war with our keyboards. Instead, let’s move forward as God’s people always have.

Not with complaints about what the church isn’t, but with faith in what the church could be.