Demystifying Empathy — Life of an Empath
Tags: Empath, Modern Spirituality, Awakening, Empathy

Demystifying empathy, a genuinely absurd concept if you ask me. But, allow me to give you a bit of context. I intend this to be the last written record explaining empathy, intuition, or spirituality on a fundamental level. I believe these elements are interconnected because of the way society has begun to conceptualize spirituality. It’s almost as if in an attempt to access a more profound connection through spirituality, then you become empathic, more intuitive, and a ‘spiritual person’ by proximity, making that much easier to demystify spirituality.

The words empathy, intuition, and spirituality are all utilized very loosely, and it’s akin to the nature of all worldly things in that to truly become something, you somehow need to own it. This idea is the premise of how modern-day society was developed. Access ultimately means ownership; this is why spiritual enthusiasts are desperate for true masters of spirituality to make it relatable and applicable to their daily lives. Sadly, the demystification crowd is the majority; they are the ones that keep the least talented and least educated spiritual authors on the NYT bestseller list. Yet, we still have so many people wandering the Earth skeptical of spirituality, deeming it too woo-woo, but with the way, the majority defines spirituality, who could blame them? I would be remiss if I didn’t say that acknowledging skeptics in any form is enormous for me.

Skeptics in a spiritual world

Skeptics create the worst intuitive clients and are the clients who can’t get enough of trying to understand even more. The problem is not lack of understanding but the negative energy they bring with their curiosity. It was a die-hard skeptic that suggested I could create more success for myself if I were to demystify what I do and what my process is as someone who “identifies as an empath.” Reflecting on that brief conversation is troubling for me in so many ways. It reminds me of how many assumptions so many people operate with daily. And that assumption, or ego-based mindset, is at the center of why they seek spirituality. In this state of being, the burden of them connecting to spirituality becomes those that move through life conscious of their spiritual journey, not the individual seeking purpose through their ability and awareness of divinity with them.

In considering this, my conclusion is you have to identify the aspects of your life and the people in them that are basic. If you keep people in your life below your level of comprehension, or spirituality, and awareness, you are bound to not only fail but suffer. Everyone has heard the aged adage, “birds of a feather flock together,” but spiritually, you are only capable of attracting what you are; this is putting the universal law of attraction plainly. Your vibration will always speak to similar vibrations. When you do not match someone in energy, you will always be uncomfortable in their presence, whether it be lower, especially when they vibrate higher than you. Understanding this is critical to the distaste that skeptics bring simply in energy to the spiritual conversation and spiritual matters.

Black & Spiritual, is it possible?

Let me offer some insights on being at the intersection of black and spiritual. We, the blacks, are today in our conflict with spirituality. I say this because it is always one of my internet cousins trying to tell me who, what, when, where, and how to show up in my spiritual journey and the how-to on the best way to lead others to the light. The suggestion that is so old and tired that even Methuselah doesn’t want to hear it anymore is, “demystify what you do.” I wish these weren’t the people that were the most vocal when it comes to spirituality. I don’t know if you noticed, but the skeptics always scream their complaints the loudest because they are the most interested. They are just terrified that if what I am saying or anyone else is speaking the truth, then there is something lying in their core beliefs that must be altered.

Here’s the thing with age (millennials, creatives, entrepreneurs, folks heavy on the spirituality) we live in today. Many black people, women, in particular, have not entirely abandoned their generational religious beliefs. While it appears as if the majority of black women are looking to embrace native spiritual practices, Christianity in the black community goes hard. Whether you identify as Christian or not, most African Americans are culturally Christian by generational tradition and default living in a Christian country. The criticism of spirituality and the mandate that it be demystified align with the fear of abandoning spirituality as they have known it their entire lives and as all of the people in their family have practiced it for hundreds of years.

Nonetheless, this is still an act of the ego. If anything, it should create urgency in those seeking connection with spirituality to reconcile their own beliefs, but the ego is slow to reflect and quick to critique and blame. The demand to make spirituality clear and accessible to all gives the person with inner religious conflict a permission slip to not only abandon their beliefs but to ready themselves with a defense for the skeptics in their own inner circles.

So, if I sound angry, I am! Who goes on someone else’s job and tells them how to do it? The problem with spirituality in America is that collective consciousness is accustomed to expecting a layer of customer service, not kindness, nor truth, in every transaction, even within our dialogue. Thus we have lost connection with authenticity, forgiveness, and especially gratitude. If we lead with an expectation, then there is already an assumption that the self is correct and the variable is wrong.

Are all “spiritual people” the same?

Let’s establish a few facts: not all “spiritually gifted” people are created equal. This part is where it gets a bit obscure for the skeptics, and they begin to swoon as if they have caught you in some type of a lie. But consider this, how many types of teachers are there? Are all engineers the same? How many different fields can you receive a doctoral degree in? This example reminds me of those that believe we should not refer to the First Lady as Dr. Biden. Ridiculousness exists in every corner of our lives, and so do those eager to critique what they do not understand or refuse to accept as truth. If I am honest, there are many people that I have met along the way that “identify” as empaths that are not. There are different types of empaths and even different types of clairvoyants. Everyone’s gifts show up differently. Honestly, we all have some level of intuition, just like most people can run. But, can you run like Usain Bolt or Flo Jo? Probably not. And if you asked the fastest runners in the world to write the how-to on their process of achieving such heights in their gift, would it then make it simple for you to repeat the steps and have the same success? I don’t think so.

The need to access, control, and own every aspect of everything that exists; I think some out there have forgotten that spirituality is not something that you seize by force. A spiritual lifestyle is designed to shift your mindset from seeing to accepting all of the things you cannot see.

A lasting takeaway

As a culture, we must unlearn the need to create accessibility through all aspects of life and know that we can find ourselves within spirituality without controlling it. We focus so much on the unseen and the woo-woo that we cannot put our finger on how much spirituality brings us all the things we have missing in our day-to-day lives. The reminder to be gentle, to face our circumstances and be open to our soul lessons, and the courage to interrupt negative behavior patterns. We must learn to welcome the aspects of our being that are the most innate whether we have an awareness of those aspects or not. Culturally, we have allowed fear to lead us into the most historical blunders in our lifetime.

The idea of demystifying empathy or spirituality, for that matter, does not serve the true seeker. It warrants the skeptical mind to dissect the unseen until there is nothing left of it, the ego aspect dominant and overdeveloped in most of us.

Empathy doesn’t need to run parallel to the corporate or societal structure for it to be effective. Not understanding empathy doesn’t mean it’s too complicated or inaccessible; this is a sign that your awareness needs to be increased-a classic sign of awakening.

If you would like to clarify your intuitive gifts or your pathway to spirituality, schedule a session with me.

And, check out these episodes of the podcast:

Surrendering to the Intuitive Possibilities

Ancestry: The Ins and Outs of Perceived Identity .