How to Follow Your Heart When Your Mind Won’t Listen
By: Michelle Marie Warner
Tags: Self-awareness, Personal Growth, Relationships, Life Lessons, Self Improvement

How to Follow Your Heart When Your Mind Won’t Listen

Start by paying attention to your persistent inner voice

We make choices every day.

Sometimes opportunities come knocking, enticing you with fancy bells and whistles. You’re intrigued because they’re offering a sweet deal. To add to the appeal, other people you know are signing up and finding success.

But there’s something that doesn’t feel right. You can’t put your finger on it. You just know. So you sign up for the program, add their app, but don’t take further action.

You peruse the site, and they bombard you with an endless scroll of news stories teeming with ads, some flashing in your face. It’s an assault to your senses. But you still wonder, should I open the door a little more, just to make sure?

The relationship isn’t getting off to a good start.

Your values don’t match. But you’re curious, mostly because they’re offering you the money you rarely have these days.

It’s like being on a first date with someone who promises you the world and distracts you from their flaws. It’s tempting for a minute until you notice the crumbling tower of lies.

They tell you they’re looking for a serious long-term relationship, but what they show you proves otherwise. You know they only want to get down your pants. They’re going to use you for sex, then drop you when they get bored. Empty promises are an early warning sign of trouble ahead.

If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

Quite a few writers are joining a new site to make some money. Our minds can play tricks on us when money’s involved. Sure, some of you might find success. We all must listen to what feels right for us. But I can’t help but feel we’re being manipulated.

They ensured an initial payment but were vague about continuous compensation. They never explicitly said we own the rights to our work, but they did say they could reproduce it in any way they choose. They’re banking on us reading the boldly printed cash promise.

I don’t trust that it’ll end well for me. And I’m sure it’s going to end. That should already tell you I see our relationship was doomed from the start.

But everyone else is doing it, so why don’t I try it? What do I have to lose? My mind is trying to justify it, but my heart says a big fat no. I’m attuned to my intuition these days, and I know when something feels off.

How can we distinguish our mind chatter from our wise inner voice?

Pay attention to your inner voice

When you can’t shake a feeling, your intuition is commanding your attention. There’s a persistent voice telling you, “Don’t do it!” Your arguments to the contrary fall flat. You can’t help but wonder if maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.

Pay attention. Your inner voice isn’t make-believe. Intuition is a powerful force that guides our path and helps us live in abundance and comfort. If we’d only listen to it, we might avoid heartbreak and chaos more often.

Our intuition can tell us when to go for it and when to pause. It can help us sidestep these issues every day, in any life situation. When we stop and listen to our hearts, we find answers that lead us to the best action.

Recognize the Bandwagon Effect in action

The cognitive bias called the Bandwagon Effect, as described by Kendra Cherry in verywellmind, refers to “…the tendency people have to adopt a certain behavior, style, or attitude simply because everyone else is doing it.”

When we observe others joining a club, paying for a service, or eating at a particular restaurant, we’re attracted, too. It makes us want more of what they’re having, even if we know nothing about it. We find it more appealing when several people are interested.

Author Walter Veit, of Psychology Today, explains further, “The phrase ‘jump on the bandwagon’ is typically used in a derogatory fashion to indicate that someone is following a trend without actually having made a rational evaluation of the idea or behaviour itself. It is thus merely the success of the trend that leads to its further success.”

This common phenomenon can squelch one’s ability to listen to intuition. Be aware of your tendency to jump on the bandwagon. Companies use precise strategies and enticing tactics to manipulate us into thinking we need or want their product or service. They know all the tricks and prey on our inclinations to follow trends. Your intuition is still in good working order. You just need to listen.

Be aware of your body language

Our bodies expand or shrink, showing us what we intuitively know as truth. Have you ever noticed how you gravitate closer to someone when you feel comfortable around them? Our bodies indicate our level of interest and our trust for another. If I don’t trust you, I’ll instinctively move away.

The same can happen when we see something online, like a job offer or ad. We may cringe or feel inexplicable anxiety arise within us. We click off quickly to avoid the feeling. Our bodies tell us the truth, whether or not we want to admit it.

Final thoughts

You don’t need a complicated formula to your heart. You do need to stop the chatter in your mind and drop into your intuition. As I finished this article, I took a peek at that site “everyone” appears to be talking about. I guess it’s sort of ok, once I found some friends to follow. I wish them the best, but I know I’m not supposed to do it.

I knew because I listened to my inner voice telling me to stop. Some of us, myself included, have a history of pursuing relationships doomed to fail. We know they won’t give us what we need or deserve. And we used to keep trying to make them work.

It’s time to practice new behaviors. Your intuitive voice always works when you’re paying attention. Don’t follow the crowd when you know it isn’t a good fit. Be aware of the body language that’s giving you clues. Then face the direction where you hear, “Yes, this is the one for you.” You’ll be amazed when you follow your heart’s desires. Those promises offered by others will be fulfilled, and then some.