Moon Work-Waning Moon Day 8
By: Leigh Larue
Tags: Spiritual Growth, Forgiveness, Personal Development, Anger, Love

Through all the clearing work recently, I’m realizing that I’ve successfully been able to forgive many people in my life that I thought I had forgiven but hadn’t. Then there’s forgiving myself, and I believe I have by virtue of forgiving others. I’m finding that expressing it all through this blog is surprisingly cathartic. I’ve been writing messages and letters to everyone I can think of with the plan of burning them all at once before the end of the waning moon. I bought a burn bowl especially for this purpose, and I found a perfectly simple one from Goodwill for a dollar.

There is one association of mine that I am still feeling rage over. I could scream into the ethers for hours my despise. If on any kind of spiritual path, our first reaction to this kind of anger is to shut it down and deny it or immediately want to take the high road and forgive it. But, by sweeping it under the rug and pretending it doesn’t exist is just going to give it the fertile ground it needs to grow and grow and grow. Letting it breed into a bigger monster than it already is would be contradictory to this whole process.

In remembering that we’re all a mirror for each other and that we attract bits and pieces of ourselves, I realized upon beginning this post, that the reason I feel such intense resentment towards this connection is that they seem to be the biggest bully in existence. Their power is out of control. Anything smaller and weaker than them they can squash like a bug without squinting. No respect or reverence for the life around them. No honor for individual sovereignty. It quickly occurred to me that, besides for obvious reasons, this affects me on such a deep level because I’m becoming more sensitive to the proverbial bully in our society. It forces me to recognize the bully within myself, and I have undoubtedly been one in my own way for a big part of my adult life. Up until recently I had very little respect for others, their opinions, their needs, their feelings.

I’ve also learned that no one person, entity, or group is all bad. We all have dark and light, and we each have a choice in any given moment as to which one we want to express. In reality, sometimes we have to walk through the darkness in order to even see the light. Shadow work is an excellent example of this. I’ve been walking in darkness and depression for so long, because I was oppressing myself instead of expressing myself. Who knew that expression was this powerful? Honest expression. Through discovering our truths and removing anything that’s holding us back from living them, being them.

It’s become clear to me that in order to forgive someone else for their trespasses against us is to own up to our own similar trespasses against others. And, even if not in this lifetime, chances are that we’ve been there and done that in plenty of others. Most of us have lived enough lives to where there is no way that we have been excluded from playing a murderer, a rapist, a cheater, a liar, a bully, and a thief. So, in this life, how can we ultimately point the finger at someone else if not also pointing it at ourselves? If we could be mindful of this the next time we are celebrating the ‘hanging’ of someone else.

In the end, the only thing that is ever going to heal ourselves and the world is through self-responsibility, forgiveness, and compassion. And, it all begins with taking a really long, hard look at our own shadow self. So, on this eighth day of the waning moon, this is how I intend to release my indignation towards this other party. They may not change their behavior any time soon, but at least I have control over how I react. And, by owning the qualities that I can’t stand in them I will be less affected by them.