There’s Sympathy and Empathy, but Have You Heard of Compathy?
By: Sofia Salazar
Tags: Empathy, Compathy, Compassion, Grief, Sadness

Shared sadness.

People Feel Things

As humans we feel a variety of emotions, everything from sadness to anger to love. There are words to describe when we see how others are feeling, especially difficult emotions like sadness and despair. The words sympathy and empathy are common words used to describe how we feel FOR people. But there’s a lesser known word used to describe our shared feelings WITH people: compathy.

Sympathy vs. Empathy vs. Compathy

As you may know, having sympathy means you’re acknowledging someone else’s difficult emotions. You are being sympathetic when someone gets sick and you say, “I’m sorry that happened. That must be hard.”

Having empathy means you feel for another person because you have experienced something similar to what they have or because you are able to put yourself in that person’s position. You are being empathic when someone gets sick and you say, “I feel for you. I’ve been sick too. I understand how you feel.”

Compathy Defined

Both sympathy and empathy are used to describe how we feel FOR someone. COMPATHY is different in that when we are compathic*, we are feeling WITH others; we are literally reflecting the emotions of others. Compathy means “shared feeling (as in joy or sorrow)” according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Chanel Rion of Wordeby’s, a website collection of unique words, has a beautiful description of the origin of compathy coming from putting the Latin prefix “com” (together) with the Greek suffix “pathy” (feeling or suffering), leaving us with a rare word that describes our shared feelings.

An example of a compathic statement is the Spanish phrase, “lo siento”, which literally translates to “I feel it”. It is often used in the small New Mexican community where I come from to comfort others after the death of a loved one, an indication of our shared grief. It means I feel what you feel. That is compathy.

The year of COVID-19 has brought our compathy to a whole new level. We have experienced shared grief over this year’s upheaval of our lives. The experience of shared fear before the U.S. election, or the shared anger, sadness, and frustration around the murder of George Floyd are all examples compathy.

Compathy isn’t just a word to describe how difficult emotions are felt collectively. It is the acknowledgement of any of the wide variety of emotions felt collectively, even those of joy and love. Have you ever been at a concert and shared in the pure excitement of the entire crowd as your favorite band plays their most loved song? That shared excitement is compathy.

In Review

A sympathetic person says, “I see you’re sad. I’m sorry your mom passed away.”

An empathic person says, “I see you’re sad. I’ve lost someone too. I feel FOR you.”

A compathic person says, “Your sadness is my sadness. I feel WITH you.”

Compathic, the adjective form of compathy.

The Takeaway

Compathy is the deepest level of shared emotions we have with other human beings. There is collective power in shared feelings. When we are able to acknowledge the feelings in others, and feel with them, we are able to see their humanity. Their humanness is our humanness. Our right to life, to respect, to compassion is their right to life, to respect, and to compassion.

To get to that compathic place, first YOU must be willing to face your own emotions, especially the most difficult, scary ones. You must gather the courage to face your deepest, darkest self. Because if you can’t even face YOUR darkest and scariest feelings, how will you be able to face those collective feelings together with others?

*Note:

(As far as I know, this article contains the first recorded use of the word “compathic” on the internet, the adjective form of the noun compathy. The adjective empathic, a variation of empathetic, exists in the dictionary for empathy. The adjective, “compathetic” exists in some academic writings such as this one, but is not found in the dictionary, nor is its variation “compathic”, which I am proposing here. I could not find any public record of the word “compathic” in a physical or online dictionary, social media, or the internet in general. Comment below if you have found another recorded use of it online or off).