The power of five words
By: Steve Feldman
Tags: Support, Storytelling, Motivation

The last 2+ years have been a funky, wild, stressful adventure. After leaving a job I enjoyed with people I loved working with, I immediately felt as though I lost a chunk of who I was. Six years at one company building something special was who I was. But what I didn’t fully realize was how much I’d miss the little things. Waving to a person as I hustled to a meeting, throwing Nerf darts at a sales rep on an important call, or being really proud of a colleague and sharing that with them.

That last bit was a big deal. As someone who never followed a traditional career path, I strove to be awesome at whatever I was doing. While that has opened many doors, it also made job satisfaction elusive. As I grew from an individual contributor to leading a team, I worked hard to make sure my team never felt that way. I fostered an environment where people were praised when they did well and encouraged when they made mistakes. It was the professional environment I wanted for myself, so I made it happen for my team.

But praise in the workplace can be a funny thing. Many traditional approaches to management espouse punishing bad behavior and rewarding good behavior, also known as carrot/stick management. While that may have worked in previous decades, we’re learning more now about how people work best — or really, we’re acknowledging that humans are complex. A one-size-fits-all approach to management is at best reductive and lazy, and at worst it can be extremely harmful to your employees and your company.

As our workforce evolves and millennials become a larger part of the working population, it will be fascinating to watch the generation mercilessly mocked for receiving participation trophies become leaders.

When I started accepting contract roles to keep the bills paid during my career search, I exposed myself to many new people, new teams, and new opportunities. It’s actually been incredible! My time at Hinge was delightful, and I had the pleasure of working with some exceptionally warm people. The work was repetitive the way a lot of contract work can be, but the mission (ensuring Hinge users were safe and adhering to community guidelines) felt good. I had a few managers while there, and they all were positive, supportive, and encouraging. It went a long way in motivating me. Not necessarily to work my butt off — as it was delicate and thoughtful work that couldn’t really be rushed — but it made me more positive and engaged with my work. That’s pretty ideal for a contract worker!

When I started working for FlightCX, a customer experience contracting organization, I wasn’t sure what to expect. They were new, and I hadn’t worked in a front-line capacity in some time. Helping a CPG launch their product was also alien to me. Despite extensive experience in customer service and support, you never know what it’s going to be like stepping back into the saddle. Thus far, interacting directly with customers, discussing strategy and messaging, and supporting colleagues has been a breath of fresh air. I’ve enjoyed the challenge of turning a customer from angry and hostile to reasonable and satisfied, the psychology of considering the best way to communicate changes, updates, or issues, and the warmth of encouraging a colleague who doesn’t see the all-star they truly are. It’s magical.

While that is great, what is really happening is that I’m focusing on helping others. Whether it’s helping them realize their potential, recognize that their problem is solvable, or going above and beyond for a client, I thrive in service. But as you may notice, there is a common theme here: it’s all about other people. And that’s great, but the world is on fire, I’m trying to figure out where to take my career, and there are many more questions than answer for me right now. In moments of reflection, that realization causes a bit of concern. The mental health of the people around me is important, but I need to pay attention to myself, too!

Gratuitous puppy pics ftw

And then I had a conversation with the CEO of FlightCX on the night before Thanksgiving, shortly before I completed my day and began my holiday baking bonanza. It was an extremely busy few days and it still felt like we still had 3/4 of the marathon to go. Exhausted. But after an exchange where she figured something out for me, I thanked her for being so awesome. And in return, she offered: ‘thank you for being awesome!’ It wasn’t some flashy phrasing or deep, spiritual hymn. Just a simple phrase to thank me. The context of the conversation kept the meaning to be small, I felt it much deeper than that. It hit hard, and I got emotional. It was like being seen for the first time in a long time. And all it took was five words.

Remember to tell the people around you they’re doing a good job. You don’t know their whole story or what they’re going through. Five simple words can transform their world.