Why Are We All so Angry with Each Other?
By: William Malone
Tags: Compassion, Kindness, Stress Management, Stress And Anxiety, Mental Health

The Search for Civility, Kindness and Compassion.

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

I have heard it said that in times of crisis, stress or hardship a person’s “true colours” or character is revealed — I believe this to be true.

In today’s world there are any number of things which can test our limits and expose gaps, vulnerabilities or cracks in our proverbial armour. This constant stressing of the system and the players in it (us), can cause us to react in a myriad of ways — Some of them good, others not so much.

A university professor friend of mine who teaches organizational behaviour and change management at a prominent Canadian university once said to me, “it’s never about what it’s about.” She said this in the context of why people and organizations become stressed and unbalanced when they undergo major changes. Initially I had no idea what she was talking about.

That phrase has remained with me ever since and over time I have gained a better understanding of what it means. The crux of it is this, on any given day all of us are impacted by a constellation of things and events which can impact on our mood and behaviour. For example, before leaving the house to go to work one morning you have a heated argument with your spouse or significant other about the garbage not being taken out. Result, you leave the house pi$$ed off and it becomes the lens through which you view the entire day.

While the trigger may have been “the garbage not being taken out,” the fact is the negative response was due to an accumulation of things that is the real cause, i.e. the pandemic restrictions, sick family members, inability to travel, etc. Hence … It’s never about what it’s about.

Here’s another example of what I’m talking about in context of the Covid pandemic …

A person who owns a restaurant or business in a large urban centre is told by the government that they have to shut down because of Covid-19. In the initial instance they are told it will only be two weeks. They look at this and think, it’s not what they want to do but, two weeks doesn’t seem too bad. It’s seen as doing their part to help stop the spread of the disease to protect others.

Fast forward two weeks later and the number of cases has continued to rise. More people are becoming ill — $h!t! Two weeks now becomes four, then four becomes seven … The curve is still not flattening! OMG! Then ten weeks pass, twelve and then the government decides that ALL businesses will be closed for the foreseeable future.

The restaurant/business owner(s) are now faced with the gut-wrenching choice of having to lay-off their staff and shutter their business with no real idea as to when or if things will return to normal — Scary!

People are now confronted with the prospect of long-term unemployment, no financial cushion or safety net, bills starting to pile up, creditors knocking at the door, inability to afford medications and pay medical bills … The hole continues to get deeper and deeper. The sharks smell blood in the water, and they are closing in for the kill.

NOW, if the pandemic wasn’t bad enough, there are a few additional stressors thrown in for good measure; racial inequality and injustice, economic disparity, unemployment, climate change, crime, etc. It has become one big hot toxic mess — A gigantic dumpster fire!

RESULT: People are feeling UBER-STRESSED!

This mounting stress has many of us walking around like coiled-up springs just waiting to pounce on the first person that looks at us the wrong way — In traffic. In the shopping mall. At the pharmacy … Anywhere!

We are all seeking an outlet to release all that negative energy, stress and anger that we are feeling. These frustrations can take many forms, verbal abuse, anger, violence, etc. Much of this being directed at anyone unlucky enough to cross our path.

We are angry at the world. Angry at the virus. Angry at the government. Angry at our friends and our family … ANGRY, ANGRY, ANGRY!!!

“No one heals himself by wounding another.” Ambrose

Yes, it’s true that we may have some rough weeks and months ahead but, we need stick together, focus on the positive and do those things which are within our control, i.e. washing our hands, social distancing and wearing a mask. By doing this thing we will get through this … WE WILL!

The fact that we have little control of the current situation is indeed frustrating but, being angry with one another is not going to solve the problem. What’s required of us is a little more patience, a little more understanding and a little more kindness and compassion towards one another. It will make a world of difference and help see us through these difficult times.

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” — Scott Adams

Be good to one another and stay strong!