7 Ways To Deal With People Who Have Lost Their Parent(s)
By: Ayapiri Debbarma
Tags: 7 Ways, People, Losing, Parents, Dealing With Loss

It will either make you or break you

It is a matter of Choice♡

Receiving unconditional love is cherished by all. And especially during this difficult times, when everything seems to be going wrong, we cannot help but feel lonely and un-loved. Losing someone important in our life , as many people already have during this pandemic, affects us a lot, and changes us either partially or completely.

But the sorrow of losing one’s parent(s) tops the list of the grief one can ever feel. Be it due to their demise, or due to bitter relations, or even lost connections, “losing” one’s parent(s) either way is wounding.

Picture credit- healthline.com

I have people around me, who have lost their parent(s) through one way or the other. And staying around them has made me realise the few similarities they share.

So..here is my guide on 7 Ways To Deal With People Who Have Lost Their Parent(s) —

1.Don’t ask if they hesitate to reveal- “This is the most common and most terrible mistake that we usually make when we have such friends.”

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We become so curious about their “experience” that we forget about their “need of privacy” and question them (sometimes continuously). Don’t. Though some people do like to share to keep off the burden, some don’t due to various personal reasons like: not wanting to remember it, or it being too personal, or too graphic, etc. Though some ask only for the sake of gossip, there are genuine people out there too. XOXO.

2. Ensure if they wouldn’t mind talking about it in the future- “Sudden discussions about their parents will, most of the time, make them feel uncomfortable.”

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This behaviour can sometimes even be toxic and can be considered immature too. This even makes them lose interest in you and you might eventually lose contact with that person. Therefore, when you talk, talk about it once and for all, confirming if they would mind talking about, especially when such topic arises out of the blue. On the other hand, if you could not discuss it before, make it a Golden Rule to not to bring it up anytime, until and unless they themselves initiate it and want to talk about it. Be all ears then.

3. Don’t Sympathize “too much”- “Though we never know how much is too much for a person, we can always look out for hints.”

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Most of the one’s I have come across don’t like being looked at as a pitiful person. That is simply considered bitter and mean because, we tend to treat them like someone who is underpriviledged and less like a normal person. This makes them feel inferior, and usually “too much” of sympathies seem to mock them about their losses.

4. Let Them Struggle and Be!-

“This headline might seem harsh, but trust me, treating them differently and not letting them take the charge makes it harsher for them.”

Picture credit- pinchofattitude.com

In simple words, let them do their work on their own, unless they ask you for help. You helping them out of pity all the time will eventually make them feel useless. Moreover, it isn’t like they have become weak after the incident. Remember, They Are Stronger Than You Think!

5. Never Introduce them as “That Person”-

“Let’s just focus on the person and not the past”

Picture credit- fearlessmotivation.com

We usually tend to relate a person with the shortcomings of their past. Let’s introduce their achievements instead. Tell people : The one who achieved something….and not the one who lost something.

6. Don’t mess with their emotion-

“They may or may not be emotionally stable, but messing with their feelings can cost you your friendship, especially if they are still recovering from their loss.”

Picture credit- goodtherapy.org

Stable people might regard you as an immature and unstable people will be possibly offended, either way ruining your relation with the respective person.

7. Trust is the Key Word-

“Trust, but verify”

Losing a parent is hurtful, and it makes them sensitive to any kind of hardships. Especially the one valuable trait, called trust. Years to gain, seconds to lose…is the game of trust.

Picture credit- Keepinspiring.me

Therefore, by losing their trust, we are adding to their long list of hardships. Hence,they have very little need of your unfaithfulness.