Why Am I Always One Step Behind?
Tags: Life, Planning, Life Lessons, Success, Personal Development

Why Am I Always One Step Behind?

Photo by Victoire Joncheray on Unsplash

“If I investigated my money to the real estate back then, I’m already a billionaire now.”

“There’s nothing special with Jimmy, we both saw the bright future of AI. It’s only because he graduated two years earlier than me. Otherwise, I must be the CEO of a biotech-AI startup now!”

I summarize them as two major types of complaints about “why I’m one step behind the true success.”

1) I was able to, but I didn’t see it. 2) I did see it, but I was not able to.

The basic assumption of these complaints is that the people who succeeded had both the ability and the insight at the same time, plus it was the right time. This assumption will simply lead to the conclusion that “they are lucky, but I’m not”.

I used to be one of those people who complain about “bad luck” hundreds of thousands of times until I realized I was wrong.

I realized I was wrong because I collected sufficient data points from my own experience and from a data-science point of view, the luck’s probability distribution to me was too wired to be real.

The only possibility is that the assumption is wrong.

I realized that there must be something that drove those people to success, but it can never be luck.

After years of exploration and practice, I developed my own strategies to dissipate the two types of why-am-I-one-step-behind complaints from my life. I hope this could help if you are struggling as I was.

“I was able to, but I didn’t see it.”

Think less.

One of my students came to me and complained about his midterm. He told me that he didn’t do well in the exam because the time was too limited, but he knew the answers to all the questions in the midterm. He thought it was unfair because “the midterm grade cannot reflect the truth that he is a good student”.

True, he got the correct answer to all the questions he did, he also got full marks in almost every homework, answered questions correctly in every class, and lead the discussions in every group project. But I didn’t give him another chance to “prove” that he could do much better in the midterm exam.

Because he needs to understand that in an exam, your aim should not be to find the correct answers to every question but to get higher marks with the limited time and limited knowledge learned from the class.

Every chance in life is as fair as an exam. Every person could find the “correct” answer if time is not limited, but it’s not how the game is played.

I lost one of the greatest chances of investment in my life because I was thinking too much.

I tried to evaluate “all” the possible outcomes of it and to select the “best” way to execute it.

Unfortunately, it took time.

There is no such thing called “the best decision”, but there is a good decision in limited time, with limited resources, and from limited information.

Train yourself hard.

In order to avoid missing potential opportunities, it’s very important to be as sensitive as possible to them.

I don’t recommend reading the success stories of others because everyone’s situation is unique. But there is one golden standard, always get prepared.

I love one move so much that I practice it every time I touch a basketball. I saw it performed by Tracy Mcgrady in one All-Star game and could never forget it.

To be honest, this move is not practical in real-world games because it needs the defenders to be right at the “positions”. However, I insisted to make it one of my most skillful moves.

I had never expected that I could have that highlight on the court in my life. I remember clearly it was a basketball game in the second year of my Ph.D.

I got hot hands and, unexpectedly, double-teamed.

I tried to cross-over two big defenders and the only way out I saw was the gap between them. Without thinking, I pulled the ball behind me, pushed it hard to the front between my legs, and WoW!

I had never thought I could use that move on the court until I saw the gap.

I practiced the move hundreds of thousands of times not because I knew the “gap” was coming one day, but only because I love my signature move.

You must have your own signature move on the court of your life. Practice it over and over again. You will be more than ready when the “gap” is coming.