FRIEND vs FRIENDS
By: Brian Nana
Tags: Self-awareness, Self Improvement, Friends

Here is the thing: Like attracts Like.

Friend versus Friends law…

We are social creatures, we are attracted to the things and people who are similar to us. Period. When you go to a new place, you look for people who do the same things as you, people who talk about similar topics as you, and people who watch similar TV shows like you.

That is how we connect as human beings, nobody wants to hang with the opposite of us. We prefer people who understand us and see what we see, laugh at what we laugh about.

You’ve probably heard it many times than you can count.

“You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with,”~ Jim Rohn.

There’s also the;

“show me your friends and I’ll show you your future” derivative.

Whichever you’ve heard, the intent is the same. Audit the people around you. Make sure that you’re spending time with people who are in line with what you want for your own life (preferably people “better” than you so it raises your average). It’s compelling. It’s provocative.

Art credits: Brian Nana

And it is true. Whether you like it or not. It is why most of our parents were very strict with the friends we had in childhood because they know this is real.

Let see how the Bible reminds us:

— Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. — Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. — 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

We are what we repeatedly do every day, people we repeatedly hang out with, and if anybody wants to know what type of a person you are, is to just look at your friends.

If you listen to people who have achieved success in history, they always mention it. We are greatly influenced whether we like it or not by those closest to us. It affects our way of thinking, our self-esteem, and our decisions. Of course, everyone is their own person, but research has shown that we’re more affected by our closest influence than we think.

Your friends influence you on everything from what music you listen to, to the choices you make, to the way you carry yourself.

Self-awareness

Obviously, I missed school the day they taught us about self-awareness. Oh wait, that’s right, they never taught any of us about it!

Art credits: Brian Nana

I believe the practice of self-awareness is one of the greatest skills in life because it enables you to learn about yourself in a way no one else can ever teach you.

It teaches you how to manage yourself and how to productively engage with other people. When you are self-aware, you see how small things are connected to our behaviors, how we communicate with one another, how we embrace our differences and make fun out of them.

I try to be very aware of people. I try to remember people’s names. I feel their vibe. I notice how people interact with each other in a group. I catalog their stories in my brain. Now how does all that have to do with friends?

A lot of influence comes from your close friends. You have to practice to QUESTION YOURSELF and be self-aware every time before making a decision based on your friends’ influence.

Art credits: Slyvier

Doing something because of someone’s influence is definitely a choice, and you have to understand saying NO to your friends is not a bad thing. But you may wonder about something specific, why does it feel like it wasn’t your choice? Well, that is the power of influence. It never feels like a choice until you practice self-awareness on small things, by questioning yourself.

It clouds your conscious mind and somehow you feel you had no way to say no to them. Now the easy way to make a lot of good decisions based on the influence of your friends is to have good friends who are better than you, and by better friends, I don’t mean by how much money, cars or other materials they possess. You should remember this!

The most important thing I would love for you to leave with it in this article is when you hear “let’s do this” from friends take 5 seconds to ask yourself if you really want to do it or you are just another dead fish going with the flow.

While at the end of the day, we all are our people who can make our own decisions, we are ultimately influenced the most by our friends and peers and that’s what can either make or break you.

Have nice preparation for Christmas

Thank you. Until next time