OUCH!
By: Kassie Thornton
Tags: Gratitude, Morning, Moms, Pain, Baby

This morning was like any other morning, the birds chirped their morning song, and I woke up in a slow, peaceful manner. Wait, that’s not how it happened. My alarm went off with one of my favorite songs, while the sun shone through my window and I awoke with a smile on my face. Not. What. Happened. At. All. Here’s the truth…The baby, our sweet baby, Edie started screaming before the sun came up to let us know it was time for her and us to get up. She wanted us to know it was time for her milk and she give us a heads up that her diaper needed changed, plus she wanted to wear her fun star outfit with red pants. And then she wanted mom snuggles. And that’s how our morning started.

We then waltzed off downstairs for breakfast and, most importantly, coffee. For us, not her. We wanted to try a new breakfast for her — warm oatmeal with blended raspberries on top. She loved it. She loved it so much that it went all over the place while we hoped some of it made it into her mouth. It was the messiest meal we’ve ever seen. OATMEAL was everywhere! Table, floor, face, EARS, and all over her cute outfit that we put on for the day. The animals were crying as if they were now starving. Unfortunately, they did not appreciate the oatmeal. We guzzled down our coffees as this was our moment to drink it while it had a little heat left in it and then my wife and I multitasked and cleaned up the mess. Oatmeal was in places it definitely shouldn’t be. After what felt like 100 wipes, we had most of the oatmeal off of Edie, the star outfit peeled off, and we headed back upstairs for a diaper and wardrobe change. Afterwards, Edie played for a while in her fenced-off play area while my wife cleaned up downstairs and fed the beasts and I started attacking things on my daily to-do list. I was ecstatic to finally clear some of Edie’s old clothes out of her dresser, but first I needed to put aside the box on top of the dresser that was full of clothes for other mom friends. I turned around to get the box down and then it all went BLACK.

Crash! HARD crash! At first, I didn’t know what had happened. I guess my feet got tangled beneath me. I caught one foot on the crib leg and the other under a step stool. As I fell, I hit my head on a chair. I then laid there wondering if I had broken a leg, an arm, an ankle, a wrist, my knees, my head, or my spirit. My Apple Watch immediately asked if I had taken a hard fall. I clicked yes, but I’m OK. And then it asked me if it should call 9–111? I paused, thought about it, and then hit the “No, I’m OK.” Button. My wife and I have this policy that if one of us hears a loud noise we wait for the person out of eyesight to shout out, “I’m OK!” If the person who makes the noise doesn’t say it, the other one asks, “are you OK?” I heard my wife yelling “Are you OK?” And to be honest, I wasn’t quite sure. I didn’t want to move because I was afraid that I had really broken something plus I had hit my head pretty hard. So I mustered up enough energy to barely raise my voice to say, “I don’t know. I need a minute!” Then I laid still and softy cried. It helped to know that Edie was safe. I could see hear out of the corner of my eye and she could see me so that helped me to remain as calm as possible. My wife flew up the stairs and into the nursery/office. With tears in her eyes, she asked, “Baby, are you okay? What happened? What can I do?” I whispered, “I think so, not sure, and again not sure,” The question I had been asking myself over and over came from Christy, “Do we need to go to Urgent Care?” We looked at each other both knowing the answer without saying it. Right now, it is too risky to go to the hospital because of COVID.

“I’m going to get you some ice packs and you are taking Advil,” she said softly. “What about my detox?” You see, I haven’t had any alcohol for 13 days and haven’t taken any other pain meds for 10 days. I turn 40 in two-and-a-half months and I want to feel my best when I do. I am aware of what I need to improve and I can’t do that if I’m numbing areas that hurt all the time. During this pandemic, I have loved a drink at the end of the day. It has been a nice thing to look forward to each day, but I digress. I have also been carrying an almost 30-lb. baby up and down stairs a million times a day and so many parts of my body hurt, but I don’t have help to take the time to stop (damn pandemic!) so I have been popping either a Tylenol or ibuprofen and then pushing through. That was until 2021 started. For the past few week, I have been drinking loads of water and trying to breathe through any pains instead.

“I don’t want Advil!” I said. “I know,” she agreed, “but you’re taking it anyway! You fell too hard and I’m not sure which parts we should ice first,” as the bruises on my knees and legs started to appear.

“Okay, you’re right.” I sighed.

“Now let me help you into bed so we can elevate it legs while you ice and rest your head,” she said in the most supportive tone.

“Okay,” is all I said after I had slid the pills down my tight throat.

As I laid in bed, watching the rain drops slid down the window, tears begin to fall from my eyes down my cheeks. My wife gently shut the door and said, “Let it out, baby.” And I finally did, not because I didn’t want my daughter to see me cry (I’m open with emotions), but because I hurt so badly and didn’t want her to be scared or worried and I was already frightened for all of us. I knew I couldn’t seek immediate medical help because of the surge of COVID and that I had to be okay. I needed to be okay. My wife was right. I needed to feel the pain, in order to heal it. So I cried with the rain. I stayed in bed for 20 minutes (because my wife made me) icing different parts of my body and breathing deeply. I found myself in gratitude for this chaotic morning ending the way it did with nothing broken, only bruised. I found myself reflecting on how I need to slow down, take a beat, and know that not everything needs to get done today. Or tomorrow. I looked at my watch and was in awe that it was only 8:30 AM and in only 5 more hours and I could take another advil.