Changing my own lifestyle for the sake of myself
By: Mercia Anggara
Tags: Self Love, Change Your Life, Mental Health, Habit Building, Impostor Syndrome

Made by instagram.com/mercianggara . Well, that’s me

After a series of bad stuff that took place in my life, I finally feel like myself again. Let me tell you, it’s a freaking long journey to rediscover myself. When I was in “recovery” mode, I tend to prioritize my mental health first. I “consume” a lot of stuff that related with what I experienced before and tried to figure out where I was doing wrong in order not to falling into the same place again. Time flies when you’re in answer seeking moment snd suddenly life hits you again like some kind of revelation.

It’s not that I experienced another bad luck, but more to eye-opening moment to me. I started noticing that I gained some weight, my eating habit got worse, I rarely move my body (since I mostly spent my time in the office, tied to a desk), and more importantly I really really didn’t use my time well. I procrastinated a lot ( this relates to my fear of being wrong / impostor syndrome as well).

I was feeling good, but not that good enough to live a fulfilling life. And one day, when I was just trying to finish off The Happiness Project Book by Gretchen Rubin that I haven’t touched in a year or more, suddenly I felt the urge to do something with my life. All the things she said on the book was leaving a mark in my mind such as using my time well, pursuing my passion, and it kinda pushed me to seek my purpose in life.

I wasn’t reacting immediately. I kinda absorb it one by one. Then I reached a point where I feel bad of myself for gaining some weight, eating carelessly, not using my time, and especially not being the brightest version of myself.

One hack to change your life from me :

Do small steps first. Then improve each day. Don’t go big too fast, or you’ll lose. But always put the big picture on your mind, the end goal of what you’re after.

I didn’t aim to be successful in the next day. The first thing I do is just waking up earlier so I can have more time. The first two days is kinda hard. I need strong caffeine to fully functioning my brain. But after entering the fourth day I got better and now I’m waking up 1 hour earlier that I used to.

Same thing about working out. I didn’t signed up for gym or class because I have bad relationship with committing to exercise, so rather than spending my money uselessly, I decided to just do 10 crunches in the first day after I got home. Then I added more on the second day. My aim (until now) is just forming a habit of working out. I used to hate exercising so I think a big leap like having personal trainer won’t fix my problem bcs the core is my point of view of working out.

About my time, yeah this aspect doesn’t really go as I imagined before because I still work on some issues with myself such as impostor syndrome and afraid of failure. But one thing I do is stop spending my time doing nothing on bed and also maximize every time I got to do useful things that feed my brain / making me closer to my dreams / at least making me happy. And also I managed to use my extra time in the morning for working or reading books and exercising.

But actually what I wanna tell you guys is no matter how hard it is to change yourself, you’ll always willingly and happily doing it without complaining if it is coming from yourself only. When you have no need to impress other people or an obligation. I used to hate working out, so of course I never imagined before that I’d waking up at 6 am to do my morning work out!

I wrote this for myself, as a reminder that I’ve been in this revelation moment, so whenever life strikes me hard, or me getting back to my old habit, I’ll make this as a motivation.

I hope you guys can create meaningful changes in your life as well ❤️