JTJ
By: Terah J. Stewart
Tags: Chosen Family, Love, Grief, Grandmother, Grief And Loss

It was some time during the 2005–2006 school year that I walked into the Student Life Multicultural Center (MCC) for a work-study job interview. I already had two jobs on campus, and at any given time as an undergraduate student I worked up to three. If a job site had a non-work-study option I always chose it first, so I could use my work study award at another location (as is the case with many low-income first gen students). This time, I decided to apply at the MCC. When I walked in I was greeted by Ms. Janice (formally) for the first time. It wasn’t the first time I ever saw her though, she had started a year or two before that when the old Ohio Union was still standing. The MCC had been moved to the basement of Lincoln Tower while the new Union was being built.

Ms. J directed me to sit in the conference room. When she walked in I noticed she was wearing a Black pantsuit. She was always well put together, ALWAYS; not a hair out of place and she was always wearing beautiful jewelry. We sat down together and she asked all of the standard questions and I could tell she was incredibly impressed with me (and I was with her). She was warm, kind, thoughtful, but fierce, direct, and to the point. I also peeked at her notes (she had incredible penmanship) and I was killing the interview. At the end of it all, she offered me a job and the rest, as they say, is history.

JT and I a few years after I was hired, doing a hard hat tour of the new Ohio Union.

Whenever we were in the company of others I always tried to refer to her as Ms. Janice or Ms. J. She was an elder after all and she deserved respect, she also demanded it. However, when it was just her and I she allowed me to affectionately call her JT or J. Occasionally, I would call her Marie which very few people were allowed to do, and I did so when I knew she was on (or about to be on) the war path. As I reflect back on our relationship, I can’t really tell when it took a turn to be deeply personal, to be, familial; in some ways I feel like we always had been. I just know that J was a part of my family, in some ways more than some of my own blood relatives. From the moment she and I met, she was present for every milestone, she celebrated me as if I was her own grandchild, and to be honest I was. And she my grandmother, and friend.

On Saturday June 22nd we laid Janice Marie Tyler to rest. A beautiful 79 years that God allowed us to have with her. But for anyone who knew JT, 79 years still wasn’t enough time, not by a mile. Not nearly. There were several colleagues present and our past Executive Director Dr. Davida Haywood tearfully invited us all up to read a resolution provided by the Office of Student Life at Ohio State acknowledging the work of Ms. J. It read,

To the family of Ms. Janice Tyler: We were so saddened to learn of the passing of Ms. Janice, a beloved member of the Ohio State University Community, and it is our distinct honor to write to you with our deepest condolences and fond memories of Ms. Janice. As you know, Ms. Janice served as a valued employee of the Student Life Multicultural Center from May 2005 to August 2015. Ms. Janice embedded her passion for social justice and love for people in all aspects of her service to the Student Life Multicultural Center and the OSU community. She was a catalyst for change in the most intentional way possible, with a deep understanding and appreciation for the difficult work that our university staff take on in order to support and empower students, and to create equitable change not only at our university, but in the world. Ms. Janice utilized her role within the Student Life Multicultural Center to serve as a beacon of light and wisdom as a beloved elder and mentor within the Black OSU community.

JT in her Office — Student Life Multicultural Center, Ohio State University

Ms. Janice’s reach impacted many areas of the university including The Office of Student Life, Fiscal Services, The Office of Diversity and Inclusion and specifically the Frank W. Hale Jr. Black Cultural Center, the African American Heritage Festival, and a host of other student organizations. In closing, Ms. Janice will be remembered fondly as a vital member of the Buckeye community. Her service to the Student Life Multicultural center and OSU will be indelibly imprinted on the hearts of her colleagues, students, staff, faculty, and alumni who knew her due to her ability to live life fully, authentically, and unapologetically as evidenced by her strong, nurturing, and unforgettable personality and zest for life. The Office of Student Life and the entire Ohio State University mourns the loss of one of its treasured Buckeyes and honors the memory of Janice Marie Tyler with this letter presented to the Tyler family on this twenty-second day of June, two thousand and nineteen.

And to be clear, this was Ms. J’s second career. She had a long and glorious career with General Motors that she was incredibly proud of (and would let any and everyone know it!) , and she came out of retirement to work at OSU and made a colossal impact on the lives of many, including mine.

At her ceremony, I was the last one to read. I was both frustrated and thankful for Davida (frustrated because I knew I would not be able to hold it together to gracefully say all that I wanted to for and about JT, but grateful because I needed everyone to know how much she meant to me). I got out what I could, but if I had been more composed I would have said it this way:

Janice Marie Tyler is one of the most dynamic human beings I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Family that you are born with can often be a blessing, but it’s the family you get to choose that makes the difference. Before J, I had two grandmothers, the first passed away when I was only three years old. I have faint memories of her, but I know she loved me. The other by God’s grace is still with us, but we were not particularly close as I grew up, I love her still and always will. JT, however, was my chosen grandmother. I picked her, and she picked me. If J were here she would remind me to tell you that she had impeccable taste and you’d all do well not to forget it. She was my biggest cheerleader at Ohio State, she had no trouble rooting for me and getting me together when I needed it. She was a grandmother, confidant, and a friend. She had always been there for me and I believe deep down in my heart that God sent her to me, that we were meant to find each other. Janice Tyler had no problem telling any and everybody that I was brilliant, that I was capable, that I was headed for greatness and that I was going to be somebody. She once wrote me a letter of recommendation where she described me as one-man dynamo! But it was she who was the dynamo.

July 3rd 2017 (My birthday)

When I lost my mother a few years ago, J knew how much it devastated my life and my world, still does. Most importantly, she knew I was crushed that my mom would not physically get to see me become “Dr.” J told me then, “I’ll be there T. If I’m 100 years old and in my wheelchair, I’ll be there.” And while she did not come to the ceremony (I instructed her not to come), she made it long enough to see it happen. A few weeks after, we laughed, she saw all of my graduation pictures, we talked about the old days and we just had joy in that moment. We didn’t talk about her health or how she was feeling, there was no sad or somber energies, we just stayed in our pocket, the one we always stayed in when we were together. I gave her a big hug and I told her I loved her, she told me she loved me and I said I would talk to her soon; 10 days later she transitioned. I’m so glad we got to have our time, and I’m so glad she held on for as long as she could, but I’m mostly glad that she is resting now; although I don’t want to do this thing called life without her. I love her deeper than so many, deeper than most and I am grateful to her family for sharing her with me. With us.

Some people described us as thicker than thieves. As I started the story, she hired me as a work-study student back in 2005 or so. Over time, I became a program assistant in the MCC, a graduate administrative associate, interim program coordinator, and finally assistant director. Ms. J was there for every transition, every milestone. When I interviewed to be assistant director, she (and others) let me know how fiercely she advocated for me when the staff came together to talk about candidates, she was sure to tell me who bad-mouthed me in those moments also. She was my biggest professional cheerleader, always. And she was my favorite colleague; we worked together for over a decade.

I have so many fond memories: like the time she let me drive her Jaguar. Her license plate read “JL84AD8” (J, late for a date). It was the second time she had those plates and we always laughed about them. One time I convinced her to play hooky with me and we went to the movies one afternoon during the work day. I can’t for the life of me remember what we saw, but it really doesn’t matter; it was such a magical moment and we snuck back to work like nothing happened. We had to keep from laughing every time we saw each other for the rest of the day. We used to watch The Young and the Restless during our lunches at work in our reception area, and at some point someone complained and we were instructed (by our then Director) to stop. We were so upset! I was ready to give up our daily appointment but J didn’t back down so easily. We had a huge storage closet in our swing space and a television on a cart that wasn’t hardly ever used. J rolled the tv into the closet and said “let’s use this” with a sly smile. I hopped in the car and purchased an antenna for it and we had our new secret location. People wondered where we snuck off to everyday, and we had a long run before others found out and asked to join. We held them off for a while, but I cherish the memories of her and I yelling at the TV rooting for Katherine and usually against Victor in the Genoa City drama.

After I graduated with my second master’s degree, I moved from my housing role to an empty apartment in Columbus. I got most of the essentials relatively quick but I kept saying to J how I really wanted an ottoman and how it would make my living room complete.

She told me to get my car and bring it around, we were going for a ride. We went to a furniture store and shopped for ottomans. I selected a modest one, it was nice, but also reasonably priced. J protested. She wanted me to get the larger than life ottoman. She taught me that they were called cocktail ottomans because they could be used for your feet, as a coffee table, and as seating if you have a party or guests over and have limited seating. I wanted it but worried how we would get it to my place with only my Ford Taurus. She banged on the counter, paid for it, and demanded they tie it to my car roof! We drove (slowly) back to my apartment and I lugged it up the stairs. She gave me a hug and told me how proud she was of me. When I moved from Ohio to Georgia almost 5 years later, it was the only piece of furniture I kept, and I always will.

My apartment at UGA with the ottoman JT bought for me.

Janice M. Tyler was born October 18, 1939 in Springfield, Ohio. She transitioned from this life to her heavenly home June 9, 2019 at the age of 79. Janice was the middle child of Rev. Wm H. Davis and Katherine Marie Davis. As a child she grew up in Springfield before moving to Buffalo, New York where she graduated from East High school where she discovered a flair for languages. She attended Franklin University graduating with Honors in Business Management and Administration. She retired from Fisher Body General Motors and started a second career at The Ohio State University as fiscal manager of the Multi-Cultural Center. She enjoyed working with the young adults as they advanced in their lives and careers. She loved helping others and was quick to aid in consulting and counseling.

Janice Marie Tyler in her younger days.

Two of her favorite past-times were shopping and traveling. Her later years challenged her faith; however, it was her faith that supported, kept and carried her through extremely difficult health issues until her passing. She fought the good fight until the end embraced in the presence of her family during her final hours. Janice leaves to cherish her memories her children, Howard M. Burroughs, Chavonne K. Burroughs-Davis, LeNora J. Tyler, and Marion L. Tyler, 9 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren. Two sisters, Florine Thomas of Buffalo, N.Y. and Dorothy Ferguson of Deltona, Fla. Special grandchildren, Tamicka Odam and William Taylor and very devoted friend Miss Rita Williams, also a host of other relatives and friends.

Ms. J was always a private person, she let you see only what she wanted you to see and let you know only what she wanted you to know and I always appreciated and respected that about her. I was always honored when I was invited to her home, we would laugh, talk, eat good food, and talk mess with one another. She was truly a friend, one of the best I ever had. When I lost my Mom in 2016, J was right there: checking on me daily, bringing me and my family food, she even went to the casino and told one of my good friends “I’m down here trying to win TJ some money!!” and that she did. She was the best kind of people, salt of the earth. She was at my mom’s homegoing and she and her daughter Lenora gave me a big hug at the end. Both she (Lenora) and Marion (her son), made me feel so welcome and part of their family and I won’t soon forget it.

June 1st 2018

I will miss the glamour, J was a true diva. I’ll miss the laughter, holding court with her, hearing her yell “I LOVE MY JOB!!!” whenever she was particularly annoyed with us at work. I will miss the antics (like when she had a bulb of garlic on her door and told me it was to keep the emotional vampires away); I will miss the wisdom, the fun, I will miss all of the one liners (like, “Don’t pee in my face and tell me it’s raining”). I will miss her so very much, I have had so much loss, and hers is a great one to me.

JT just got me. She understood me. We connected on a cellular level and I never understood it or tried to, I was just grateful for it. She was a magical person, one of those people you can’t imagine ever leaving. She was in your face, unapologetic, glamourous, well-traveled, well-lived, generous, fearless, she was high on life and wanted the best for those around her. She was one of those once-in-a-lifetime type of people, and I don’t mean that lightly. The ones we only get a few of (if we are lucky), and I am glad she was one of mine. I’m glad God, the universe, and fate believed I was worthy enough to have Ms. Janice Tyler’s love and be able to love her in return. I said publicly that I was done singing at homegoings for a while, I broke that vow for JT. I hope, like always, I did her proud under the circumstances.

We were always tickled that we shared initials; she was well known as JT and I as TJ. We always joked that together we were JTJ, and we were a force to be reckoned with. We even placed our initials on office supplies and other items that belonged to us.

J, I am going to soldier on from here, but I hope you stay with me and maybe even visit me in my dreams from time to time. I’m ok being just TJ (for now), but I can’t wait until we can be JTJ again one day.

You lived well. Rest in power. Rest in peace. Rest well, JT.