Hey Meghan Markle, Sex Workers Want Money Not Inspirational Messages On Bananas
By: Brian Glass
Tags: London, Charity, Humor, Feminism, Meghan Markle

(Source) Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, has shown her support for female sex workers as she and Prince Harry visited a charity supporting the women in Bristol. The royal couple were visiting One25, a charity helping female sex workers, when the duchess went off script. “Oh actually do you have a Sharpie marker? I have an idea,” Meghan said. ‘I saw this project this woman had started somewhere in the States on a school lunch program. On each of the bananas she wrote an affirmation, to make the kids feel really, like, empowered. It was the most incredible idea — this small gesture.” The duchess wrote messages on the bananas like “You are strong”, “You are loved”, “You are brave”, “You are special”. A volunteer named Sam (not her real name) said the women would appreciate the gesture.

Hey Princess, your Prince Harry and the rest of the Royals are worth like a kajillion dollars. Your new fam is the big swinging uncircumcised dick of Europe and all you’re donating to the sex workers repping the One25 are a few words of encouragement on bananas? Geez, I’m sure the ladies coming back to the One25 after a night of turning tricks are going to be thrilled to see their fruit defiled with a magic marker. Thanks for ruining the one healthy food in their lunchbox Meghan!

Could you at least come up with something more original to say other than ‘You are special‘ and ‘You are strong‘? This ain’t the children’s hospital you’re used to visiting Meghan. You’re talking to grown ass women here. Sharpie marker their bananas with something more pertinent like “Ur tits da bomb girl‘ or ‘Make dat puss drip drip‘.

How about you do something a little more charitable like slipping a hundred in each bag so the ladies can take refuge from the streets for a night or two? Sex workers and Johns alike know a superstar’s play during the 2nd game of a back to back tends to be sluggish. Nobody wants that and some money in their gift bags, not messages written on bananas, can prevent it. I humbly speak on behalf of all trollops charging $25 per handie when I say ‘keep your bananas princess…show us the money!‘

And more importantly, I boldly speak on behalf of all the Johns out there driving slowly at 3am in search of ladies in booty shorts and stilettos when I say ‘Meg, we’re the ones needing to be told we’re special and beautiful‘. Meg, we Johns are paying the prostitutes for sex. Nothing tells the ladies on the street they’re special more than a married guy with three kids rolling down his window and offering to pay to play. He could have picked any girl on the street with he chose her! That’s special!

Repulsive guys like me whose adult acne and misshapen bodies make women gag are forced to pay for pussy. No one’s willing to sex us free of charge, let alone offer to shave our back hair off. We’re the ones with low self-esteem. We’re the ones in need of charity. Meghan Markle, I implore you to stop by a brothel and tell the Johns’ their strength is unmatched and The Clap they’ve recently contracted will pass.

PS: Google tells me Meghan Markle isn’t a princess. My apologies for call you one.

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