A Never-ending Sadderday
By: Michael Malone
Tags: Time, Covid 19, Self Improvement, Time Management, Sadness

I have been thinking a lot about time lately. In a world in which we used to complain about not having enough of it, I would argue that this year we have had too much of it.

Time seems to move slower when you’re not in motion. Minute's feast on hope and motivation until you are bone dry. I was once filled with grand ideas of action. Constantly adding random tasks and career milestones to a never-ending goal list that was set by society and thousands of miles long.

At some point in your youth, achievement marries itself to value, and once they elope there is no turning back. The two of them watch over you like adoptive parents. Nervously hoping they have chosen a worthy child from the orphanage. Worthy of praise and promise. Immune to broken bones and the fatal disease of failure.

I have been thinking a lot about time lately.

These days I can barely complete a load of laundry. There is stagnant hopelessness in the air. It feels as if we are living in a never-ending groundhog’s day. Every day is Saturday.

I feel so numb from boredom. Everything seems unnecessary. If failure is a fatal disease, then I at least have the flu.

Great philosophers have said that time is not as we know it. We in the modern era tend to think of time as a linear thing. Moving forward like a train that leaves behind our old selves as it sprints from the station. The rumbling of the old tracks jars our memories loose as we slowly let go and settle into new ideas and habits. Unaware of our destination ahead.

But what if time wasn’t a one-way ticket? What if it was more like an airport? You could move in any direction. The past could be your future and your present self is waiting for you in first class. What would it feel like to fly the plane?

I like to think of time as if it’s water. All flowing together. The ripples are our memories and there is no real beginning or end. It’s impossible to section it off and slap a generic label on it. There is no today. There is tomorrow. Everything is now. Now is all we have. Now is all that matters.

If I’m right, and time is like water, then it’s possible that a future version of yourself could visit you in the present. Some guidance from the pilot. Philosophers think that’s what “deja vu” is. Those gut feelings you get that make the hair on your arm stand up straight when you have to make a hard decision. That is you, sitting in first class, reaching out to your past self because time isn’t linear. It is an ocean of possibilities.

I have been thinking a lot about time lately and I keep asking myself the same question; What have you been doing with all of your time?

Are you any healthier? Are you more informed? Are you wealthier or more cultured? What have you done with all this time you have been gifted?

The entire world is on pause… Are you frozen in time or are you guiding your past self to becoming a better human? A better husband or daughter? A better listener? A better friend?

I have been thinking a lot about time lately and I think I’m done with attaching value to achievement and I am going to hijack the plane. I refuse to sit quietly in first-class. I am going to cause a scene.