If You Write About Sex, Don’t be a Pussy
By: Sherry Mcguinn
Tags: Humor, Sex Writing, Writers On Medium, Nom De Plume, Authenticity

This story will probably do a fast fade. Like so many that I’ve written here because, mistakenly, it will come across as an attack or a rant. It’s not, rather, it’s a lesson in “keeping it real.”

With that said, I have to laugh at many of the writers on Medium whose niche is sex, because they let it all gush and squirt out, while hiding behind a fake moniker. They provide every juicy detail of every skin-to-skin encounter, a thorough rundown of “who got in and where,” without truly letting us in.

What’s up with this?

If, like so many of these scribes proclaim, they’re proud of their every pelvic thrust, finger-fuck, ass-rimming, and multi-partner grope-fest, why not own it?

Many of these stories I have enjoyed immensely, they’ve turned me on in fact, while others have just turned me off. But, for those writers who lay it down with gusto…I want to know who they are. I don’t want to see an avatar of a perfect ass bisected by a G-string. Or a bulging bicep with “Mommy” tattooed on it.

“Let me see you.”

Maybe that makes me a perve, I don’t know, and I understand that people have jobs and families, little kiddos, etc., but why the subterfuge? Everyone has sex. Some kind of sex, be it solo or in a herd. Unless of course, you’re a child and don’t know what sex is. And that’s as it should be, but I’m not talking to children here.

Recently, I was blocked by a writer who took umbrage at the fact that, while she proclaimed her pride (in her profile) of being a sexy MILF or whatever the hell it was, she was using a fake name and I called her on it. Respectfully. In fact, I merely asked, why the nom de plume?

Boom! Blocked!

I guess “pride” only goes so far. To me, that seems a bit hypocritical. Either own who and what you are, or don’t trumpet your pride in being able to disclose the most personal tids and bits of your existence.

Sex is not my niche. Although I’ve written about my need for it even though I’m in my 60s, which is an age that some people perceive as being dried up and ready for pasture.

Too, I’ve written about my lifelong struggle with OCD and a recurring issue with booze. I’ve written about my family, personal essays about my rocky relationship with my parents, and other subjects I never thought I’d touch upon. And all under my real name.

Is sex “dirty?” Is that it? Is there still shame associated with certain sexual proclivities? To a Luddite, certainly, but most rational people understand the “to each his own” principle and respect it.

My personal credo: As long as you don’t abuse a child or an animal, or engage in anything that isn’t one-hundred-percent consensual, “go to town.”

Some of the hottest stuff I’ve read here comes from the “unfuckwithable” mind of James Knight. (His word, by the way.) And I’m fairly certain that’s his actual name as I’ve checked him out. (Okay, I know what you’re thinking.)

Now, this is a professor with students and colleagues and a life and all that complicated crap, and still, his writing is bold and unapologetically sizzling. Or maybe I’m just easy.

I can understand where a sex writer wouldn’t want a strait-laced employer to learn about their penchant for splodging, but how likely is that to happen?

Perhaps I’m being naive as people get screwed-over for any number of things, like age, which I’ve ranted about at length. So maybe, the problem lies with society, more specifically, societal norms and what is expected of us.

For example, when I was still posting on my Blogger blog, I was rejected by Google AdSense for using a sexy image. I was surprised by that and still am. Perhaps I shouldn’t be as we really haven’t evolved all that much. Consider the Trump supporter if you doubt me. A modern-day Neanderthal in a MAGA T-shirt instead of a loincloth. Cro-Magnon man with an assault rifle instead of a club.

I suppose, too, if one is writing about a red-hot affair they’re enjoying with someone who is not their partner, a fake profile would certainly be in order.

Now, I’m flip-flopping and I hate that about me!

But, the deal is, it’s tough as hell to show yourself and I get that. It took me years to let the shit hang out, but hang out it does and now, I don’t know any other way to be. So I find it hard to imagine writing under a false persona and finding any pleasure in it. Or personal satisfaction. Yet, with that said, I’m still waiting to “make it.” Maybe I have and I slept through it.

As usual, this is just my opinion and I welcome your thoughts. Perhaps I’m being an opinionated jerk. These days, anything is possible.

So tell me what you think: Should writers whose niche is “sex” throw down under their real names? Frankly, I think it would be a hoot to find out that a smokin’ story was written by a 75-year-old grandmother who moonlights as a part-time cashier at a Wegmans.

But that’s just me.