When are you going home?
By: Ola Tawose
Tags: Christmas, Covid 19, Home, Life, Immigration

Cheers to 2020. This has been a difficult but most important year for many of us. A most maddening and unpredictable but unforgettable year.

Photo by Christian Lue on Unsplash

During these last days, many of us either long for or have been blessed enough to be able to spend precious time with those we love. Our family and our friends at home.

I hold the belief that everybody belongs somewhere. We are all searching for something. Some find it in the village, town, city or country of their birth, others seek it out elsewhere. Some people eventually find it but tragically most do not. Home is not a place, its a knowing. An assurance.

As we pursue our dreams, as we journey across this land and seek to become, to integrate, continually we are asked a variation of two questions:

Where are you from? When are you going home?

The first question is understandable and it’s always triggered by the lack of blindness in our eyes and a loss of deafness from our ears.

There’s no reason to be surprised at this question, no temptation to take offence since we all do it and probably always will.

However, the second question. “Home?” What exactly does that mean?

This is a question that is sometimes raised out of innocent curiosity, as a means of small talk but on rare occasions, is it used by some to remind you to “know your place” and emphasise that “you don’t belong here”.

This isn't always true but these thoughts and feelings tend to linger. I’ve been told by people who are much wiser than myself that sometimes, it lingers for a lifetime.

Intent matters

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Unfortunately, however pure or otherwise the intent may be, it subconsciously triggers in you, the question. “Do I really belong here?”

For me, I always answer with a variation of “I’m already at home” although I understand it's not as black and white for many. Home sounds simple but it’s actually a very complex word. Oddly enough, most 4 letter English words are complex in their context, but I digress.

As far as I’m concerned, Country of Origin is where you or your forebears were born but “Home” is and will always be where you choose to live and with the people you choose to trust — the people who have accepted you.

The only way this place can become your home is if you find another 4 letter word — “Love”. The love of a city, a group of people and even a coffee shop.

Like, most things in life except your place of birth and your family, Love is always a choice. When you adopt a country, even before becoming a citizen, you’ve chosen to make that country your home. Whatever the initial reason for moving here, as long as your residency is legal and your intention is noble, then isn’t this your home?

Think of it this way, you might own 10 houses, you may have lived in 18 cities but you’ll only really have one home and that’s where you build your most treasured memories. That's where your heart calls for. It’s your anchor.

It doesn’t matter where you were born or how many decades you lived there.

So, are you going home?

Photo by Sebastian Staines on Unsplash

When are you going home is a question that’s become inconsequential if you know you’re already here. What matters more are…

Where do you feel at home? Where do you believe you belong?

I understand that some will agree with this, others will strongly object and perhaps many more will even take offence. Opinions are a dime a dozen, I have mine and you have yours.

As for me and my family, we are already Home.