What Forgiveness Feels Like When You’re Still Heartbroken
Tags: Moving On, Healing, Moving On After Divorce, Heartbreak, Moving On After A Breakup

You can’t move on without forgiving your ex. However, forgiveness feels different when you’re still heartbroken. When you forgive, don’t expect your pain and disappointment to vanish immediately. It won’t.

If you expect it to happen that way you’ll only end up saying “I don’t think I can ever forgive him”.

Why is forgiveness so important?

The person most hurt by unforgiveness is you.

Forgiveness takes away the power they have over your healing process (completely) and positions the responsibility of moving on in your hands.

It disconnects you from the emotional tie they have with you and sets you free to focus on yourself and your healing journey.

I know it’s difficult to forgive someone who broke your heart.

Believe me I do.

Read to the end to see what forgiveness feels like when you’re still heartbroken.

This is what you need to do.

Forgive your ex for the broken promises, the heartbreaking attitudes, and for all the moments when he made you question your self-worth. Forgive him even though he never acknowledged the pain he caused you.

Forgive him, from the bottom of your heart for the days he made you feel worthless, stupid, and suicidal. For your own sake, forgive him whether he deserves it or not.

You need to forgive because, you deserve what’s on the other side of regret, anger, revenge, and every form of emotional unrest.

The bitterness that comes with resentment and having thoughts of revenge (although understandable) comes with a price. And that price is your peace of mind, emotional freedom and happiness.

Don’t let the past hold you captive.

Genuinely forgive him, and watch the power he has over your emotions slowly diminish, until it eventually vanishes. You’ll be astonished by the impact of forgiveness.

There are 3 things you need to do

Forgive yourself for allowing him waste your time.

Accept the apology he never gave you.

Forgive him even if he doesn’t deserve it.

Read the 9 laws of heartbreak

This is what forgiveness feels like when you’re still heartbroken

Don’t be misled into thinking you need to forgive him ‘just once’ and that will be all. No, it doesn’t work that way.

That you forgive him today does not mean negative (painful) thoughts/emotions won’t flare their heads again.

They will flare their heads once in a while, but their intensity will start getting mild. This means you will need to forgive your ex everyday, every week, every month until you no longer need to.

And you need to say it out “I forgive you xxx”, don’t just say it in your mind.

Healing a broken heart is a journey that takes a lot of time. It is not about speed, it’s about progress. It requires patience with your own self.

I always illustrate the process of moving on using an empty bucket and a drop of water.

The process of moving on is like the task of filling an empty bucket with drops of water💧.

Each drop represents any healthy thing you do that facilitates the moving on process. E.g engaging in social activities instead of lying down all day (in bed) wallowing in sadness.

Each drop represents any positive thing that brings you a step closer to emotional freedom.

When filling the bucket (moving on), each drop will seem insignificant in the early stage of journey (especially immediately after break up). It will look as if you’re not making any progress at all.

So even if you forgive your ex at this stage you won’t believe you’ve actually forgiven your ex because you’ll still be feeling heartbroken.

That’s why I told you what you need to do:

That you forgive him today does not mean negative (painful) thoughts/emotions won’t flare their heads again.

Some days so many droplets will fall into the bucket, other days it may be just one drop. That’s why you need to be very gentle and patient with yourself when healing. One day the bucket will be filled to the brim.

And this is how you’ll know that forgiveness has occurred totally.

You’ll remember the people who hurt you, and feel nothing but the power to wish them well. —Lightoflights

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Finally,

Read THE 9 LAWS OF HEARTBREAK to learn more.

Merry Christmas 🎁