Radiating Grace in Trying Times
By: Jennifer Hammersmark
Tags: Social Issues, Mental Health, Grace, Remembrance Day, Gratitude

I wonder if this longstanding tradition can also teach us something during this very difficult time of unrest. We are all being held captive right now by Covid — the bogeyman that is lurking, waiting to grab us at any moment. We are also experiencing a tremendous uproar against human rights offences and corrupt government power all across the globe. How is gratitude even possible during a time like this?

Simply put: it must be. Being grateful and extending grace are our superpowers that will conquer. Gratitude will conquer our hopelessness, and extending grace to others will provide hope to the hopeless. It is integral to not only our happiness, but to our survival.

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I remember years ago hearing Oprah talk about how to combat depression. She instructed that keeping a gratitude journal daily would assist in carrying on and getting out of the muck. Write down five things per day that you are grateful for, she would say, even on the darkest days when waking up is a chore. A ray of sunshine bouncing off a puddle, a cloud moving swiftly across the sky, or a squirrel running across a fence top. These can all make us feel grateful in that present moment.

Eventually, even during tough times, gratitude can grow to include larger, more personally meaningful blessings: our special gifts that each one of us possess that have been bestowed upon us; the love we receive from our children, family or friends; the home that we are fortunate enough to live in; the job that we are lucky enough to have; the food that we are blessed to afford and enjoy.

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I have long had a practice of expressing all that I am grateful for when I first awake from my slumber. In those first few moments before I am actually ready to become fully alert and start my day, I like to linger for a few moments in my bed and recite all that comes to mind that I am grateful for. Often it begins with my warm bed, which I don’t want to get out of. Then as I become more alert, I am launching into my beautiful home that I appreciate, the brains God gave me, the relationships I cherish, the people I am blessed to help . . . the list goes on. Suffice it to say that by the time my feet hit the floor I am feeling pretty darn good.

I don’t allow myself when I first wake up to pray for the things that I want, that I need, or that I am worried about. First thing in the morning is reserved for gratitude. I have the rest of the day for all of the other things!

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Extending grace to others is the second part of the equation. It seems all too easy these days to criticize others for their indiscretions. Never before have I seen people so openly vocal about other peoples’ actions. No mask? Too close! Too many people out together! Out of town plates…what are you doing here? Perhaps all of this scrutiny somehow makes us feel better, elevated even, when we are actually just cranky from the restrictions imposed on our own lives.

In terms of extending grace, I like to hold the door open for people or smile when we cross paths. I can offer to forgive a debt or provide for someone worse off than myself. I love to be old-fashioned and send hand written thank you notes. When someone accosts me, I am sympathetic and try to see the hurt and fear behind their criticism. I love buying flowers for people. The local grocer and I are good friends. These are some of the simple ways I can extend grace on a daily basis. Who knows, maybe that person really needed that “grace gift” in that exact moment to help them continue for another day? Times are tough and our mental health is being stretched.

Studying role models who have been full of grace in tough times can also be inspiring. Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Viktor Frankl, Corrie ten Boom, and Martin Luther King Jr. come to mind for me. Wonderful people who rose above their very difficult circumstances. Their ability to have grace for everyone around them astounds me, especially when it is toward their captors or oppressors.

Photo by Denis Oliveira on Unsplash

Being grateful in hard times is not easy, especially when so much destruction and death is all around us. This is exactly when it is most necessary though, so it is important to cultivate a spirit within yourself that focuses on that which is good in your own life. We all have shit to deal with, but we also have goodness and blessings as well. This is what we want to focus on until the bogeyman goes away.