The Tiring Takes of the Modern Romans
By: D. J. Flanagan
Tags: Covid, Italy, Socialism, Immigrant Stories, Rome

Recently moved to Italy. Even through the lockdown procedures, it’s been lovely. Since the bars close at six, I have an excuse to start drinking at 11am. The problem with drinking this early is the people you run into. You don’t run into drunks or pick up girls; you find people casually enjoying a single beer or martini over the course of an hour. These people are the active members of society, not the degenerates.

You may be thinking: “What’s the issue?” I’ll fucking tell you.

They all obnoxiously care far too much about their socialist ideology. It’s not typical socialism from a Marxist standpoint, but more of some quasi-socialist type of shit. Like if the democratic socialists had an alt-lite. Maybe it’s longtime EU influence or just city living, but nearly all of them think this way. (Except for the small Nazi population but I have yet to find one of them.) It’s almost a working effort to keep the conversation away from politics. They have this urge to vomit their personal opinions into your mind constantly, as they assume the American knows less than they do. The only thing they Italians are right about is their take on the coronavirus situation, but we’ll get to that later.

Nazi Graffiti & Antifa Graffiti in Rome’s Trastevere

The 30 and 40 year olds are bearable. There is still hope that your conversation won’t go from “Come ti chiami” to “well see, democratic socialism is [insert shit take] within 5 minutes. My buddy, let’s call him Mike, is 45 and has written a few Hollywood productions. Cool guy, can drink like a champ. Talks to girls like nobody’s business. It’s been a blessing having him around. The people we meet are much older and interesting. They have life experience to draw from and could talk for hours and everyone at the table would be enthralled. They are also more comfortable inviting us either to a party or their place for drinks. (Not “let’s go up and bang ‘drinks.’” Just casual drinks. Since they are so casual here, they often remind me of my experience with American swingers. That’s a story for another time.

The younger population is where it gets bad. Girls whose bangs are made up of 5 different colors, guys who look and dress like @gusdapperton. This is Rome’s representation of my generation. If you even hint that your political leanings are not theirs, or even outright lie and say you’re a moderate democrat, they will crucify you until you submit. I’ve found that it’s worth rolling the dice and saying I support Trump. They either find a way to leave or, if you’ve shown your personality enough and they like you, they find a way to talk about other things. It’s a win-win.

I take refuge at my university. Sure, it’s a liberal arts school, but most of the people are trying to squirm their way out of the US or are coming from other places like France and Tunisia. They really don’t talk much politics. I will find myself in the smoking section, enjoying the aromas, pleasant conversation, and sleeping in the sun. Most of the people there have come here to escape every conversation being political. That was one of my main motivators to come here in the first place. I didn’t even want to go back to college.

Riot Police Disrupt Protests in Italy

The one topic I do love talking about here is corona. Back home, don’t even bother. But here, everyone is anti-lockdown. They could bitch about it for hours. Every time I walk through my neighborhood another bar or restaurant has shut down. Sometimes this is due to financial troubles, as they have to close at six, or sometimes they’re open a few minutes after six and the police shut them down. Even the police here are against all of this. BUT, from what I hear, if Italy exits it’s state of emergency, there is an election, and whoever is running shit now is guaranteed not to be reelected. It’s a weak and desperate leader holding on till the last thread snaps. Lockdowns don’t work unless you go do what Italy did in March. If they do that, Italy is going into a serious, serious depression. These quasi-lockdowns have only prompted massive protests across the nation and even my own neighborhood has had it’s fair share of riots with fireworks popping off until 2–3am.

Police take off helmets in solidarity with protesters againstCOVID-19 restrictions.

At the end of the day, I can bear the socialist idiocy that runs rampant. Italy is great. Food is great. Cute Asian girl at the pizza place below my flat digs me, etc. The only drawback is the lockdowns, but we make due.