The Guiding Light of Grace
By: Dave Smith
Tags: Dads, Leadership, Parenting, Fatherhood, Marriage

Dads’ Survival Guide: Partnering — Our Relationships

My ugly sweater is gathering dust.

Usually, I have a bevy of Holiday parties to show off the hideous design. Along with other Dads. And Moms. Donning once-a-year outfits. Velour jackets. Suede shoes. Reds on the extreme end of the color palette. Or equally heinous sweaters.

There’s a festive nature to bad holiday outfits. A jolly competition. One Dad even sported a 70’s leisure suit and Robert Goulet ‘stache. While crooning Christmas melodies all night. Hilarious.

This year feels far from hilarious. In fact, it’s intensely serious. Mandatory mask wearing. Lock down of restaurants and bars. Limited church services. No caroling. And prohibitions on holiday gatherings. The antithesis of festive.

Lighting the Chanukah candles and Christmas tree trimming feels muted. Traditions less merry when we’re unable to welcome family and friends in our homes. Especially for Moms. Who look forward to the decorating. Holiday baking. And dressing up. To share the joyous season with others.

As Dads, we need to consider an extra dose of compassion. And grace. For Moms. As the darkness of winter sets in. While keeping everyone centered on the meaning behind this joyful time. The cheerful light shining through even the most onerous limitations.

Miraculous Truce

There’ve been other years when holiday celebrations were off limits. December of 1914, for example. World War I was raging. The Germans and Allies engaged in brutal trench warfare. Fighting was fierce. The conditions horrid. Inhumane. Death was everywhere.

Shivering in their foxholes on Christmas Eve, German soldiers began singing carols. In English. The British, French and Belgian troops responded. Men from both sides emerged. Dropping their weapons. Braving the barbed wire of ‘No Man’s Land’. To greet one another. Exchange gifts. Cigarettes and candy bars. And shake hands.

For a day, a spontaneous truce broke out. Christmas Day. Across the Western Front. They even played a raucous football match. Together.

In his diary, a German Lieutenant recalled, ”How marvelously wonderful, yet how strange it was. The English officers felt the same way about it. Thus Christmas, the celebration of Love, managed to bring mortal enemies together as friends for a time.”

A marvelously wonderful, spontaneous truce. Among mortal enemies. Putting aside their differences. To celebrate what they had in common. If only for a time. A miraculous event. Paying tribute to a miracle.

Season of Miracles

December is the year’s darkest month. Yet, it’s lit up with celebration. Commemoration of God’s miracles.

Like Chanukah, the miraculous 8-day supply of oil. Lighting God’s Temple menorah. During the time of the Maccabees. Helping these Israelite rebels fight for religious liberty. Against their Greek oppressors.

And Christmas. God providing the greatest of gifts. Grace. Unmerited favor. For each of us. In the form of His Son. Born to an impoverished Jewish maiden named Mary. In a manger. Amid the animals. God as a Man, taking on the judgment of mankind. For all the transgressions. Sins. Of every man. And every woman. Now and forever.

As the German Lieutenant noted, a celebration of love. God’s love.

This is the miracle. The reason for our holiday spirit. God’s love. For the Israelites. His Chosen people. In a time of need. And for everyone else. His Grace. Forgiveness. For any of those choosing Him.

Light in the Darkness

In this December’s darkness, there will be a bright light. Right now, actually. Overhead. In our night sky. Jupiter and Saturn are aligning. Forming a brilliant star. An incredible, celestial rarity. Last seen 800 years ago.

So unusual, astronomers believe this phenomenon may have been the Christmas Star. The guiding light for the three Wise Men. Directing them across the countryside. Towards Bethlehem. To bestow their gifts. Honoring an infant, born in a manger of straw. Who’s love would be celebrated for centuries. Even by enemy soldiers. In the midst of mortal combat. The marvelous light of humanity. Overcoming the darkness of world war.

A bright light. Overhead. Right now. This once-in-a-millennium occurrence. Hmmm. Random chance? Or a gift? The guiding light of hope. In our season of darkness.

Extending Grace

Bestowing gifts is something Dads do well.

Selecting something special. An expression of our love. For the kids. Wives. Extended family. Friends. Co-workers. And community members. Giving seems so easy this time of year. A simple act. Why is that?

Could be the nature of the season. Cultural norms. Upbringing. Commercialism at its best.

Or perhaps, we give because we’ve received. Not the gifts from others. The gift of grace. Unmerited favor. Favor we did not earn. Or deserve. Given freely. Abundantly. To us.

And who better for Dads to bestow the gift of grace than Moms. The greatest of gifts. Love. In the form of unmerited favor. Giving Moms the benefit of the doubt. All the time. Absolute forgiveness. No strings attached. Regardless of whether deserved. Offering her acts of affirmation. Encouragement. Patience. And reconciliation. No longer questioning who’s right. Or keeping a record of wrongs.

Grace. An extra-special expression of Dads’ love. Given unconditionally. With no reciprocation necessary. The foundation of healthy relationships. And lasting marital bonds.

Grace. Which costs Dads nothing. Of which we have an endless supply. Not subject to government shutdowns. Or COVID mandates. Offered in this season of giving. And year-round.

Grace-givers. That’s us. The generous spirit of fatherhood. As a guiding light. This holiday season. For those we love. Awesome.

Go Dads, Go.