WIN-WIN-WIN with Veera Mahajan
By: José Ángel Manaiza Jr.
Tags: Domestic Violence, Mediation, Women, Domestic Abuse, Success

Photography by Andy Rooney

Tell us about your journey of your success

I was born in India to a family of educators. Both my parents were teachers. My father was the principal and owner of a private school and my mom taught Kindergarten in a mission school. My brothers and I grew up in a very strict and physically abusive family.

Our family moved to the USA in the early 80s and the abuse continued but, as I started meeting other people and hearing about the effects of abuse in shows like Oprah Whinfrey, a lot of things started becoming clear for me and I knew I did not want to live like that.

I met a young man also of Indian background and fell in love. For the year and half we dated and were engaged, we did not even argue. He was always respectful and kind. I saw him lying and being angry at others but as most girls in love, I thought he would never hurt me and married him. I thought he was better than my father.

Life was good for a while. We had two healthy sons. We were both educated, risk takers and hard workers so the business grew fast. Looked like everything was wonderful the way it is supposed to be.

Don’t know when things changed but one day I realized, we were two groups in the family. My sons, me like the house belonged to him. He said he loved us by expected only obedience. He had to approve everything. I could live like a queen when he LET me. The days he did not agree or was in his angry moods, we didn’t know where to hide in the big house. He hurt me in every way possible and was physically and emotionally abusive to the boys.

I kept waiting for my youngest son to turn eighteen so I could leave. I did not want my sons to go through a horrible custody battle. He had threatened me that if I think of leaving, he will make sure that I will never see my sons. Knowing his anger and his need to win; I believed him and stayed till my son turned 18. That was 11 years ago.

People used to ask me how I could leave the big life and home we had built. I would just say, if that is the price of freedom then I have no regrets.

After the divorce was finalized, I moved to Malibu. My son had moved to Los Angeles during the divorce to study at F. I. D. M. I wanted to give him a home so moved close to him. My oldest had just graduated college and moved to New York.

Moving to Malibu has been one of the best decisions. It is here where I first heard the phrase “It is all good”. I smiled and looked around me and thought “it actually is all good”. It had been 3 months since I moved here and realized that I had not cried for 3 months. That was new. I could not stop smiling the whole day. What an amazing feeling. There was no one telling me that I could not do this or that or something I did was not right. No yelling, no fighting, no was screaming at me or my boys. I realized I did not just free myself but I freed my boys too. We are all growing and doing fine now because no one is pulling us down. I love my new normal!

As most survivors of domestic abuse or any other diversity, I used to think, I am glad and proud of coming out but why did it happen to us. Especially remembering the abuse my sons endured,was painful. I used to wonder why they had to suffer so much.

So, I joined the University of Santa Monica to understand the spiritual psychology and learn about our life curriculum. Our purpose and individual journeys that we all take to learn what we came here to learn. Because all that education helped me put my past in the past and feel better about my life and the reasons, I wanted to help others be peaceful and free of deep pains too. But, I did not feel ready yet. I needed to learn more skills so I could help in the best way possible.

So, I joined the Masters program at Pepperdine Law School for Mediation and Dispute Resolution. Now, I combine both of the skills to help people with resolving conflicts with a win-win for all. I am a life coach for empowered and peaceful living. I believe we all deserve to live our lives on our own terms in joy.

I am the author of “Domestic Abuse, Unreported Crime”. It is a book for domestic abuse awareness and showing how to get out of it. I also wrote a screenplay, a murder mystery on the same subject. It is a historical fiction with a lot of my own life stories. Through this movie I want to make the message bigger and louder. I would love to offer the opportunity to anyone who can help me produce this very important film. Please contact me at veeraisit@gmail.com if you are interested.

2. What advice would you give to people who want to follow your footsteps?

Keep the path of peaceful living in the forefront. Be present in all your communications so you actually hear when someone talks to you. Don’t react to every situation and remember that all good or bad things pass. All you can do is make one right move at a time. Don’t let anyone shake your state of IN-JOY!

3. What do you do for your well-being?

For emotional well being: I like to start my day with short guided meditation, usually with Deepak Chopra’s 21 days of abundance. I like to read biographies and self help books. I listen to inspirational messages and always look forward to meeting progressive positive people.

For physical well being: I start my day with lemon water and of course Nespresso coffee. I take long walks with my dogs, run steps or on the beach. I love yoga/stretching exercises and just breathing!

I love going to movies or eating out, which we are all missing right now. I like watching funny shows on TV with family or even by myself. I can watch Friends any time and laugh at the shows I have seen many times before. Only soap opera I watch is General Hospital. Love the DVR, so I can watch the hour show in 30 minutes.

Love saving time, the most precious thing that never comes back. When I don’t have time to run on the beach, running steps is the best. I get a better workout in less than half the time.

BIO-

Veera Mahajan is an inspirational author and speaker. resolution. Veera is a passionate advocate for eradication of domestic abuse and empowering women. She is an advocate for joyful living through peaceful dispute Her book DOMESTIC ABUSE, UNREPORTED CRIME talks about the awareness and eradication of abuse from your life for good. She believes that we all deserve to live an absolutely free life on your own terms.

Veera has a master’s degree in Mediation and Dispute resolution from Straus Institute at Pepperdine law school. She combines those skills with her background in Spiritual Psychology from University of Santa Monica to facilitate communication and negotiate resolution. Before that she had extensive background in business. Veera was the partner/owner of a software company in Michigan for over 23 years. She owned and ran a magazine publishing business in Malibu for 6 years. She has extensive experience in resolving disputes in business situations.

Veera knows how to tackle those family dynamics by reaching the emotional side of both parties. She always tries to show her clients that no matter what they are still a family, just a different kind of family especially if children are involved. She knows the family disputes from the inside out personally and understands the mentality of a victim to have empathy for complicated family conflicts.

Veera is a mediator and a life coach for conflict-free living. As a mediator and life coach she works with families and small businesses to resolve disputes one step at a time to figure out a win-win solution for all! With a. 95%+ success rate she is very confident in helping you figure out the reasons of dispute lurking under the surface and getting rid of them for good. She also spends time with clients individually and privately to figure out their own pain points and helping them find solutions. She provides them with skills so they can resolve their everyday conflicts themselves and enjoy peaceful, conflict-free lives.

As a mediator, she plays the role of a neutral facilitator for peaceful communication and help save time, money and hopefully also salvage relationships.