You are not alone! (TW sexual assault)
By: Maddy Campbell
Tags: Youre Not Alone, Mental Health, Sexual Assault, Toxic Relationships, Teenagers

In March of this past year my boyfriend at the time sexually assaulted me. We had only been dating for less than a mouth but I trusted him, I trusted that everything would be ok when his sister left for 30 minutes and we were alone at his house. I was wrong everything was not ok. We were in his living room watching music videos seeing as we both loved music when all of the sudden his dog bandit started barking from his room where he stayed because he didn’t get along with the other two dogs. I looked at my boyfriend and he asked if I would come with him to calm him down I agreed because I loved his dogs and loved seeing them. We got up and let the other two outside then I followed him to his room and sat down in front of bandit talking to him and petting him calming him down then I got a notification on my phone so I sat down on his bed, and this was where I’m assuming he thought it was an invitation to touch my body. I paid him no mind when he sat down next to me and kept getting closer until he was kissing my neck and when I moved away telling him that I “wasn’t in the mood” he stopped then a few seconds later pushed me on my stomach and started feeling up the back of my thighs and I thought to myself why isn’t he listening, I thought he would just stop there and be done but I was wrong yet again. I was so uncomfortable but I didn’t want to make it obvious or make him feel bad so I was frozen and I pretended to be on my phone until I heard him moving behind me. He had pulled down his pants and taken his penis out then roughly and abruptly started pulling my pants down then my underwear while I was still laying on my stomach. It finally clicked in my head what was about to happen so I told him no I don’t want to do anything i told him stop I told him it wasn’t ok and more while trying to move away from him but at this point he had sat on the back of my thighs and put his hand on my shoulders while rubbing himself on me. This when on for what felt like forever and I never stopped telling him to stop I was crying. I finally kicked him off me and pulled my underwear and pants back up and went into his bathroom and locked the door and cried until he came into the bathroom from another entrance I didn’t know about and argued with me yelling at me for how I acted towards him telling me I was a tease. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans that were not even tight NOT THAT MY CHOICE OF CLOTHS MATTER! Please tell me how was I a tease? Tell me what made you think I wanted to have sex with you? Was it because I came over to your house? Was it because I sat by you on your couch? Was it because I said your sister could leave us alone for 30 minutes? Was it because I gave you an innocent heart felt kiss? Was it because I went to your room to see your dog? Was it because I sat on your bed? Could you not hear me crying underneath you? Could you not understand me clearly when I said no? Here let me make it more clear for you NO MEANS NO. STOP MEANS STOP. It is my body and it is my choice it yours you don’t get to decide when I have sex or when you can touch me that is mine and my choice only.

He ended the relationship about two weeks later, yeah I stayed after that because I thought it was an accident I didn’t understand what happened. I didn’t think that was sexual assault. I thought he loved me. I was so naive and I look back and I just want to scream at myself for feeling like it was my fault because it wasn’t. And it’s no one else’s fault who has experienced something like this. No one deserves this. See I got lucky, and I got away before he could take anything that I couldn’t get back. Sure he took my trust in boys and my hope for a good relationship and the want to be touched by someone he took that all away but I got it back slowly over time I got through it and I healed, and you can to.

Thank you so much for reading my story I felt like I was ready to share and why not to millions of people on the internet right? Haha. Please tell someone that you trust if this has happened to you, talk to someone you trust it’ll help you get through it faster if you have a support system.

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