The Art of Procrastination
By: S.J. Hutchinson
Tags: Laziness, Life, Writers Block, Writing

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

I’m excellent at some things:

Being able to identify what other TV/films X or Y actor has starred in, with whom, and sometimes what year. Movie/Pop trivia. Correctly guessing 80s and 90s hair metal/rock bands from 10 second audio clips. Baking. Cooking. Sleeping.

And, as it turns out, these past few years I have truly honed a new skill: procrastination, or as I like to call it, “dicking around making candles and home remedies for body pain, playing Candy Crush (level 3467, bitches!) and disappearing down the rabbit hole of Netflix, all whilst ignoring the 150K manuscript that needs editing.”

I’ve also managed to move my computer desk from downstairs in the corner of my living room (“the TV is too distracting”) up into the bay window of my bedroom. Except I now spend a fair amount of time staring out of said window, outraged that a neighbour has murdered all her Leylandii trees by cutting them down, so I can now see into five new gardens. And of course, my bed is behind me and did I mention how very good I am at sleeping?

Yesterday, I managed to take that particular skill to a whole new level. With the 150K word MSS open in Scrivener and every intention of getting stuck in, I listened to Evanescence’s new song on Spotify about 10 times, then switched to the Frozen 2 soundtrack on repeat for the rest of the day, all while writing, in one almost uninterrupted six-hour session, a short story for 15 small children with whom I work every week.

Yep.

6500 words of fantastical fiction, set in the colliding worlds of Enid Blyton’s “Enchanted Wood” and L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” — parameters set by the children as we had discussed favourite books a fortnight prior, during our weekly Zoom online sessions. It also had to include several other things such as mermaids, unicorns and Pirate Princesses, and honestly guys, it might be the finest thing I have ever written. Which is worrying, given the years I’ve spent on the 150K words to date.

Then to top yesterday’s brilliance off, last night I sat and watched a film on Netflix which is so worryingly similar to the plot of my own (still unpublished) manuscript, I am considering binning the entire work because I’ve faffed for so long, someone else has had the exact same idea, which was always a risk I was aware of, but goddammit if it hasn’t pissed me off regardless.

I’m faced with a choice now: completely abandon years and years of wordage, often written in days-long bursts where I got so lost in the story I forgot I had a family;

or

Edit, re-write and stop dicking around making candles and home remedies for pain etc…(Candy Crush level 3469 now, by the way).

I think I may have to face a damning truth eventually, (which may explain why I’ve procrastinated to the point of being a Candy Crush professional) and is that the MSS may not actually be very good — I’ve certainly written myself into a hole I can’t get out of, for sure. I’m certain there’s the bones of a good story there, but maybe I’m not just hungry enough to get to it.

So, this is my vow, good people of Medium. This is THE WEEK. The week I open Scrivener and properly take a good, hard, honest look at the monster I’ve been creating since about 2012. And bloody well DO SOMETHING with it…

(Candy Crush level 3469 now. I’m on FIRE.)