Self Help — A foe?. Approximately, we all are equally…
By: Mahima Trivedi
Tags: Philosophy Of Mind, Foe, Toxic, Self Help Business, Self Help

Approximately, we all are equally accountable for becoming over eager to ride the bandwagon of achieving a positive/idealistic mindset. And to provide to our desperate hunt, self-help industry generates thousands ( if not millions ) of books each year; so that we are ever ready — ever eager to fetch the next best seller and magically transform our lives overnight.

This multi-billion dollar industry thrives upon both ancient as well as modern self improvement tactics, which alongside working wonders for many, also sometimes fails to meet its agenda.

Many still fumble, despite reading and re reading the self guides; stagnating exactly where they used to be. It’s quite simple and introspective to be honest. We tend to heed a lot lesser attention to our real requirements/needs and a lot more to those, that are unnecessary; eventually drifting into a negative cycle of comparison, false perceptions and illusion.

Below are my two cents on certain drawbacks of self help industry:

A FALSE PERCEPTION ABOUT PROGRESS/SUCCESS :

The fundamental motive of self help lies in creating a perception of progress rather than the actuality of it. It generates a thought process rather than an experience. A feeling rather than a concrete materialization of that feeling. It might motivate but the probability of such motivation to last long enough is highly debatable.

Success doesn’t come overnight, true , likewise neither would the new person you believe you will become after reading a 30 days self guide. Every process requires patience and a strong staunch plan for its success to become evident. Repeatedly re telling one’s self, the saga of affirmations provided, may or may not guarantee your progress.

Variations exist among people’s capabilities and also among the type of improvements they are seeking through the self help material. For example, You cannot expect your workplace troubles to vanish by referring to a self help that boasts about benefits of waking up early or practising law of attraction .

And so, when one fails to attain the success as promised, he/she is far more heavily disheartened than they used to be. They could fall in an abyss of self doubt and low self esteem if they couldn’t live up to the guidance of self help.

The attribute of progress is subjective and therefore, risks of a self guide failing its purpose are likely to be way more than its advantages.

You may presume you are moving forward in terms of your progress but it’s highly possible you are doing so, by suppression of or avoidance of your emotions, problems and finances. You may naively stir away from solving the more pressing crisis in your life.

For example, if you are feeling sluggish and lethargic lately, and you begin to believe that it’s probably just due to lack of motivation and to feel fine; you simply need to “act” more active and energetic (or so as your current self help read suggests). It’s highly possible you might oversee a potential health ailment and worsen your lifestyle.

Similarly, otherwise seemingly superficial problems like breakups, stage fright, academic/professional underperformance issues etc; may also have an active correlation with psychology, physiology and neurology.

2. GENERALLY DOESN’T CORRELATE WITH FACTS:

There’s a ten on one (or not) chance of no scientific validation of the self guide. Factual as well as practical backing of neuroscience and psychology paves the way for a more effective self improvement. However, the lack of the same, may result in nullifying the reader’s efforts. It all tunnels down to individual efforts and introspection. Hence, it’s wiser to analyse the authenticity and practicality of the self help material.

Quotes and citations, though ancient/permanent; cannot be fairly applied to every situation and problem. Likewise not everyone equally benefits from the same set of 50 rules of happiness or some other voodoo.

3. MAY ELUDE THE TRUTH:

A person who has resorted to reading self help for the first time, obviously presumed that they demanded some improvement in their life, and guess what confirms to their presumptions? An appropriately titled self help pile lying at their favorite bookstores’ top shelves!

Most (not every) self guides are smartly titled in order to attract more buyers irrespective of the content. In a world of quick fixes, it is naturally easy to fall prey to such marketing strategies, later spending weeks upon weeks trying to apply the book’s concepts in our lives, in hopes of obtaining astonishing progress in immediate future.

Nevertheless, quite frankly it would be lunacy to believe that a decade old habit could be corrected after merely reading few pages and placing minimal efforts towards its eradication.

Conclusion: Nobody else can give you a lifestyle manual for a life that they themselves aren’t leading. Simple as that.

However!

Two cents on self help in general : Comparably, it is not to be overlooked that any ( yes even those bollywood magazines ) book is a reflection of what works for the author or in case of self guides; for the author’s mentees. Therefore, along with considering it’s cons; the pros that a self help can potentially provide are to be praised as well. Only you get to decide your conclusion.