Walking through the life of a ‘Wonder’ boy.
By: Cosmental Eqlibria
Tags: Psychology, Support, Wonder Movie, Mental Health, Stigma

How and why should we be mindful about our part in a society that stigmatizes, ridicules, secludes the disabled ….

Our body acts as a great symbolic resource to talk about ourselves. Our eyes -windows to the soul. Our tongues — a medium of communication. Our hands- to wave them up high. Our legs- to kick a football to score a perfect goal. Quite often we take our physical capabilities for granted and fail to understand the various embodiments it has in our society. Various meanings are associated with our body types and as a result, our experiences with society are shaped

To understand this better, this blog is for you to try and look at how people with disabilities frame their identities and negotiate their space in this world. How they are perceived by others and how they perceive themselves. What is it that they face differently than the ones considered ‘normal’ and how abled ones can grow empathetic and make their lives easier?

Meet August Pullman aka Auggie, a 10-year-old boy from the movie ‘WONDER’. He lives with his parents, an elder sister and a dog in New York. Auggie was born with a facial deformity, which he proudly refers to as “mandibulofacial dysostosis’. He has undergone about 27 surgeries in order to see, smell, speak and hear clearly.

This movie very well depicts how people help form the identities of the disabled. The numerous ways in which they are ostracized and stigmatized. As well as the important role a family plays in their lives.

The disabled are discredited and perceived as different, as deviant, further creating a binary of normal and abnormal. Auggie in the movie lists down his various dreams and aspirations in his introductory statement. He says that he dreams of being out of space just as an ‘ordinary person. He loves Minecraft, science and Star Wars but he understands the fact that even if he tried to look better, he will never be perceived as normal/ordinary. The person may very much feel normal when alone. However, these beliefs are broken down as soon as they enter the social realm. It builds in them negative emotions of self-pity, self — hate, sadness and depression. This is evidently seen when they sense an invasion of privacy through the constant stares they receive. Auggie too received millions of stares when he first entered his school which he certainly didn’t like. Stigma from a society constantly disgraces the person and it is often related to such physical deformities of the body. Their disabilities embody the fact that they are abnormal and distinct from the rest.

It’s not only about the emotions manipulated by others but the person with such deformities or disabilities also start changing their perception about themselves. As the body is a sole marker of identity and embodies certain attributes of our personality, a lot of times we tend to make certain changes in our body or the way we present ourselves. This changes many times because of the perceptions we think people have of us. In the movie, you will see Auggie appear to have a thin braid — a symbolic representation of his fondness for a character from Star Wars (View Image above). However, the braid is cut off by him as soon as his classmates start making fun of it. He starts perceiving himself negatively just because his classmates did so. Hence people may actually make or break the identities or identity markers of the disabled. They make them perceive themselves negatively, different from their positive perceptions when alone.

In order to ‘pass as a normal person, people with disabilities engage in different mechanisms. They develop strategies in order to live with acceptance. They either use disidentifiers or they cover up or remove certain special devices they use to keep their traits a secret. Auggie did it by covering his face with a helmet. He also mentions how he loves dressing up for Halloween as people don’t avoid touching or greeting him then.

The disabled aren’t really free of social exclusions, bullying and discrimination. It becomes a part and parcel of their life. They may face discrimination in various institutions such as hospitals, schools, marriage, etc. They may not be welcomed in some or may at times receive so much unwanted attention that they start feeling different from the rest. However, along with them, it’s also their family who face constant hate, seclusions and rejections. Sometimes the families may avoid talking about their disabled child in the fear of unpleasant reactions.

Parents engage in a dilemma of when exactly they should disclose the problem to the child. If they do so quite early their child may face severe identity transformations and if they do so too late their child will never be ready for the cruel world. Parents of such kids also tend to take an extraordinary amount of responsibility on their heads. They may give up their jobs, be around them 24/7 and may also neglect their other children as a result. In order to make their kid feel ‘normal’, they take up various roles such as an educator, therapist, advocate, friend and so on and so forth.

Despite all of this, we still see the disabled, the deformed triumphing and content in life. The solution- social support. Auggie enjoyed going to school once he found love and support from his friends. His friends stood by him, fought for him, made him feel welcomed and most importantly made him feel normal. There were bits where he doubted and felt that they were doing so just to be ‘nice’ but it’s part of the process of them questioning every interaction based on past experiences. His classmates later came around and realised that the face is not all that he has. He is more than just that. People are more than just the bodies they possess.

People’s opinions do shape our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves. What it also does is manifest in us the concept of being normal. The attitudes and reactions of people tend to create more stress for the disabled rather than the medical condition itself. We need to acknowledge and be aware of such privileges. However, we must not ignore the steps our society takes in order to involve people with disabilities. Changing times are bringing the world closer and making it more inclusive. We see many educational institutions, organizations and governments taking initiatives to make it a friendly environment for the disabled. Whether it be the Disabilities Act by the government or even WhatsApp having emoticons for them. We must realise that they can’t change the way they look but we can very much change the way we see things.

Movie : Wonder

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