Rudolf
By: Davi Mai
Tags: Christmas, Erotica, Humour

Rudolf

As the front door opened, Tommy was astounded by what London was wearing.

“London?” he asked the huge reindeer’s head looking down at him. It was a silly question. This was London’s house, and the legs protruding from beneath the costume were hers. In fact, if he wasn’t mistaken, those were the black panties he gave her for Christmas.

“Oh, thank god it’s you, Tommy. I can’t get this frigging thing off.” She moaned from somewhere within layers of fake reindeer fur.

“You answered the front door like that?” Tommy asked, pushing his way inside.

“Well, I’m stuck. Now please, can you get this thing off?”

“Sure!” Tommy laughed, “Here, gimme some head!” he grabbed a pair of antlers.

“Oh, You’re just hilarious,” London said, wriggling as he pulled. They extricated her from Rudolph’s head. She shook out her long dark hair and adjusted her bra.

Tommy put the deer head down and leaned back against the door, checking his girlfriend out. He loved the way her black hair contrasted with her pale white skin. “Never get a tan or shave those lovely pubes,” he’d always told her.

“You’re a horny little tosser,” she always told him back, but granted his requests. At least he wasn’t into anything too kinky, and he loved her smallish boobs, and bigger bum. Why couldn’t she swap those around, she often thought.

For his part, Tommy usually allowed her to dress him. While he knew exactly what he wanted her to look like (nude, mostly), he didn’t care about his own appearance, so London organised his wardrobe.

“Why are you in a t-shirt and track pants?” she asked, “I thought I told you what to wear?”

“Did you? Oh, sorry.” Tommy leaned in and put his arms around her waist, “I figured we’ll be in that silly costume, so nobody will see us, anyway.”

“Yeah, but after the show Tommy. We’re going to grab a drink dressed as Rudolph?”

“Well, excuse me!” he mumbled from between her breasts. “I didn’t realise the old people’s home was putting on an after party for us.”

London pushed his shaggy head away. “Stop pissing about. We’ll be late! Grab the bottom half, it’s in the lounge.”

Outside, Tommy stuffed the two parts of the costume into the back of his Corolla while London locked up. She now wore a respectable blue skirt and white blouse. He decided not to tell her that the black bra was visible through the blouse.

Ten minutes later, they pulled up outside Fairhaven Rest Home and Hospital and found the others from their amateur dramatics club.

“Ah, there’s our Rudolph!” exclaimed director Clarence, slapping his hands together with exaggerated glee. “We thought you were coming from the North Pole or something.”

“Oh god, it’s Andrew Lloyd Webber,” Tommy muttered as he levered Rudolf’s awkward head from the back seat.

“Sush. Don’t be mean. You know this thing means the world to him,” London said.

Seated in the dining room’s makeshift theatre, in rough semi-circles of mismatched chairs, the rest home’s residents eagerly awaited the show.

Backstage, behind the meal serving window, London helped Tommy struggle into Rudolph’s back end. Once he was in, his feet down in Rudolph’s hooves, they had to slide London’s legs down into Rudolph’s front pair, then squeeze her into the awkward head with the silly red nose.

Mary and Joseph were on hand to help. Mary had to put baby Jesus down on the serving window to free her hands, much to the annoyance of the fussing Clarence. He scooped the doll up as he flitted by. “Goodness me, we’re not serving up the lord and savior with the mashed spud! Have some decorum, people. This is the theatre!” he huffed. “Five minutes, Rudolph, this is your five-minute call!”

“What’s Clarence dribbling about?” Tommy’s muffled voice resonated from Rudolph’s stomach. He was bent now, holding London around her waist and trying to keep his back straight and low, in case they looked more like a camel.

“He said five minutes,” London replied. “Okay, you got to walk with me. I can just see through this mouth. We have to trot out when the song starts.”

Tommy lifted his feet in time with London’s and the two clip-clopped back out the kitchen and around to the side of the stage, hidden from view by a hospital sheet stretched between two upturned tables.

The strange gait they adopted, as Tommy bent over his girlfriend in a tight hug, caused his hips to move against her rear. Her skirt rode up her legs with each hoof step.

“Is it hot in here, or what?” he whispered.

“Stop doing that. You’re making me horny,” London whispered back, trying to turn around inside the head.

Tommy grinned in the darkness. He let her waist go, and pushed her skirt all the way up, over her bum. There was very little room inside the costume, but with some dexterous wriggling he shoved his own pants down. When he hugged her again, London felt a stiffening erection pushing against the black panties between her legs.

“Tommy! What if someone sees?” she squeaked, feeling even hornier.

“In this thing? Nah. We’re safe as houses. C’mon, it’s Christmas. Santa only comes once a year, remember.” Tommy pushed against London, the end of his erection poking her through dampening panties.

She moaned. “OMG, you have to fuck me now.” She said, “Even if your jokes are that bad. Please, Tommy”

Tommy reached down and pulled London’s panties to one side. He slid his length between her wet folds of skin. Her moan was drowned out by his satisfied grunt.

“You feel amazing. We should do it like this more often,” he said as he started up his rhythm.

“What, inside a Rudolph costu……Oh, god!” London couldn’t finish her sentence as Tommy filled her, “Yes. Like that. Oh, Tommy… fuck me. Just like that…keep going.”

“Okay, Rudolph, you’re up!” Clarence gave Rudolph’s rump a friendly pat, startling Tommy and sending him deeper into London.

“YES!” she cried.

The sheet came down and Rudolph staggered onto centre stage.

The rest of the cast, gathered around baby Jesus, broke into song, with the oldest resident, Percy, on the piano.

“Rudolf the red nose Reindeer…” they belted out, in a variety of keys.

Tommy thrust into London, his hips slapping against her bum cheeks.

“YES!”

“Had a very shiny nose…”

“YES!”

Clarence checked his song sheet.

I don’t think Rudolph answers “Yes” after each line. He scratched his head.

“And if you ever saw it…” The oldies in the audience were getting into the spirit now, sitting up and singing.

“YES! Oh Fuck, Yes.” Rudolph cried

“You would even say it glows…”

Tommy, at full speed now, took London from behind with true Christmas spirit, his rock-hard length sliding in and out of her with expert ease, even in these cramped conditions. London did her best to push back with in time. The brazen bonking was bringing them both to a hot and sweaty climax.

Clarence and the rest of the cast looked on with bemusement, as their Rudolph made the strangest noises and appeared to be having convulsions.

“And all the other reindeer…” The old men and women were now in full voice.

“Oh Tommy, I can’t last another verse.” London’s voice shook. “Fuck me harder Tommy. Harder”

“Used to laugh and call him names…” The knitting ladies in the back now joined in.

“I’m gonna come!” Rudolf’s back end announced.

The stretched and bulging costume could take no more. Velcro strips connecting front to back came apart at the same time as a large tear ripped down Rudolf’s spine. The whole furry mess fell down around the two actors’ feet.

Tommy’s hips quivered as he emptied himself deep inside London.

“I’m coming too!” Rudolph’s head shouted.

The audience looked on as Tommy pumped himself into London, his pants around his ankles, her milky white bum cheeks getting hammered, and her screams of ecstasy shrieking from behind Rudolph’s bobbing red nose.

Mary instinctively covered the eyes of baby Jesus.

One elderly gentleman in the front row leaned over to the woman seated next to him and shouted into her hearing aid…

“Best fucking Christmas show we’ve ever had!”