Mushaholics Anonymous Candle-light Meeting
Tags: Visualization, Self Improvement, Self, Psychology, Mindfulness

Welcome to the Mushaholics Anonymous (MA) meeting of Oakland, Maine. My name is Suzanne.”

“Hi, Suzanne,” [voices say together].

“Thank you to you who’ve come in on Zoom or are reading online. Mushaholics Anonymous is a fellowship of women and men who have the wellness of giving and receiving mushy, affectionate, hopeful words and small acts of caring.

“We admitted that our lives have become imaginable! Mushaholic behavior is contagious and affects the families of its members, co-workers, and, hopefully, you. Please mute yourselves and your cute dogs.”

“Let’s begin at the bottom on page two in the purple booklet, ‘Courage for Today’. Please read a paragraph each.”

“‘Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.’ Brene Brown.”

“‘Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveess are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.’ Eckhart Tolle.”

“‘I have learned in recent years that my faults, the defects that keep me from creating the work I want to do, are not flaws or failures. They are wounds… …Embrace the wounds, wash them, bandage them, with loving care.’ Sophy Burnham.”

“Thank-you, Karen, John and Norene. Tonight our guest speaker is Claudia, who is coming to us virtually from Compton, California, with her cockapoo “Lily”. The topic is ‘Lightening Shame’.”

“Hi, Claudia. Hi, Lily, [said in a chorus].”

Hi, everyone.

Thanks for not leaving after hearing the word “shame”.

I have a special place in my heart for Maine because I used to go to summer camp near Portland when I was eight and nine. I fell in love with nature there. At camp there was a huge, shiny black rock that was near a lake. Outside of camp, the winding roads were surrounded by green trees. I’ll pretend I’m there now.

The word shame can be hard to hear. Even if you are smiling and loving others and yourself, you may be thinking of shameful things done to you or that you, unfortunately, did to yourself or others. I have been in that trap a lot. What I am telling you today I have never told anyone before.

I had this insight the other day.

What is tragic about shame is that it covers us, rather than stands side by side with us. When we are covered, our talents and goodness are smothered. We can’t see them or believe others could possibly see them.

Tonight I am going to share a way to feel more free. Untethered. Unsmothered. Way more uncovered. Even if it is for a moment, or for the time we have together, or if it extends into time ahead.

Here is the visualization exercise:

Can you for a moment imagine yourself, with your unique proportion of qualities unlike anyone who has ever lived? I’m speaking of essential parts of you. Perhaps you are particularly strong in being courageous, creative, caring or considerate. Purposeful or persevering. Merciful, forgiving. Assertive, with initiative. Friendly, fair, fearless.

If you were a cereal brand, the side of the box might say under ingredients:

Compassion and discernment butter, fair trade kindness squares, holy helpfulness seeds, persevering spices, humor as a natural preservative, 240% of daily requirement of Vitamin L.(Love).

Photo by Artem Beliaikin from Pexels

Whatever your blend of qualities, your You-Oh’s, can you imagine yourself without feeling doubts and feelings of not being enough. No shame or shamefulness covering you.

Imagine your shame and grief, as if it was in another person, sitting or standing at your side. Any shame, guilt, grief from your life now or in the past is gone. It is in the form next to you, not in you. No shame is covering you anymore.

Isn’t it amazing to feel free of shame in you and your body?Notice your breathing. That may be all you can do. The world is more spacious. Anything can happen. It is drizzling curiosity.

Do you feel free, empty?

Isn’t it (sigh) peaceful? Breathe in and sigh a lot. Feel how freeing it is to have your identity freed. Not to carry the old.

You may notice feeling, out of the blue, thankful. Thankful for everything that you couldn’t see before through the mists.

[The cockapoo Lily is licking Claudia’s face, preventing her from saying the next thing she was about to say. Claudia laughs].

Who are you? Are you a field? A mystery?

[Suzanne is back on screen].

“Thank you, Claudia. We’ll “go around the table”, so to speak. What is said here, what is heard here, once you’ve read here, you can share here, in the comment section. We’ll start with you. What was it like for you to imagine yourself without any shame covering you, side by side with your past wounds and shame?

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