The Moment We Stopped Talking as Human Beings
By: Wei Xiang
Tags: Self-awareness, Personal, Talking To Strangers, Thinking, Self Improvement

The Middlemen Connumdrum

Many times we get frustrated, sending emails and making calls to people of the working class. They often don’t answer our calls or emails. If they do, they will take days. When they finally reach you, there’s a chance they didn’t answer all or any of your queries. Then, when you send in another message, you repeat the whole process.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

‘Hi, this is Wei Xiang. I’m looking for Christina’. ‘Yes, please hold on. I’ll transfer you to her’. I waited. The line got cut off. I called again. ‘Hi, this is Wei Xiang. I called just now but we got cut off. I’m looking for Christina’. I waited. The line got cut off. I called again. ‘Hi, this is Wei Xiang, again’. ‘Yes, I believe Christina is not in. Can you try again later’?

Case in point.

I eventually got to Christina the next day. That day, I demanded that they gave my number to her and ensured that she got back to me.

It is odd, isn’t it? That somehow, in the corporate world, we can’t seem to contact the person we want to. And for some arbitrary reason, it’s not that person who decides if they want to talk to you. In short, some random middleman gets to decide if you two get to talk. Here’s another ludicrous example:

‘Hi, is this KHY health centre’? ‘Yes it is, how can we help’? ‘My brother (me) is terribly ill. He needs to see the doctor. Is she in’? ‘Yes, but it’s 3:30 and we close at 4. Can you come tomorrow instead’? ‘We can make it before 4. Please, can you check with the doctor’? ‘I’m sorry, please come tomorrow’.

Guess I’ll die then. Neither the doctor nor the patient gets to decide if we can see each other. The front desk did.

We call these middlemen by many names: agents, dealers, assistants, clerks, retailers etc. They’re hired for various reasons. Agents and retailers distribute products and services. The front desk directs queries to relevant departments.

In today’s capitalist world, we need middlemen to ensure products and services remain competitive. They are vital to ensure that these products and services are aimed at the right consumers. They also ensure that our demands are met with the right source of supply. They bring us convenience, and we pay good money for said convenience.

They’re also a pain to talk to. Why?

After talking to so many middlemen, I think the answer is simple. They don’t know everything. They can’t. No one can. If you work for Nike, I wouldn’t expect you to know the fine details behind all of Nike’s shoes. But the reason behind the pain and frustration of talking to these middlemen is that they either assumed they know everything or that they don’t admit to not knowing.

When I called the NGO asking if I could volunteer at their place, human resources didn’t know if the part I wish to volunteer for is available. They were in charge of hiring and recruitment. But they didn’t know if there’s even a spot to volunteering as a teaching assistant. Yet, they don’t admit of not knowing. They made promises to get back to me. When the time came, walking away from someone silently is easier than apologising.

When I emailed immigration, they didn’t know the guidelines and processes behind evaluating applications. The front desk forwarded the email, yes, but whoever received the forwarded email didn’t know. Instead of saying so, she’d rather send a ridiculous response. Playing dumb is easier than admitting ignorance.

When Madam Tan promised to call me back after making her supposed phone calls, she didn’t know that her phone calls wouldn’t give disheartening news. She didn’t know she couldn’t help me. When the time came, remaining silent is easier than admitting you’re powerless.

When I called for Christina, the reception didn’t know if she was in. After repeatedly getting cut off, he ‘believed’ Christina isn’t in. He thought he knew.

When my brother called the clinic, the front desk didn’t know if the doctor could see us or if she wanted to see us. She thought she knew everything. Even what’s best for the patient and the doctor.

So, this is the middlemen conundrum. When they do their work, our world operates. We get responses from the correct person, we get the products and services we so desire, and we get the convenience we paid them for. In a world where information, products and services are so readily available, we cannot do without the middlemen. But when we try to talk to them as a human being, appealing to their empathy and vulnerability, they suck at it. They suck real bad.