The Obstacle Is The Way
Tags: Book Recommendations, Problem Solving, Books, Stoicism, Self Improvement

Often what we face in life are just less-than-favourable circumstances that we feel we are stuck with. All of them mostly boil down to metal or emotional obstacles. Or actually, they are just perceived to be obstacles by our minds.

Whenever we come across obstacles, we can do much more than just overcome them, we can use them to our advantage. It’s not just asking yourself how to think this is not to bad, it’s how to will yourself to see that this must be good.

It’s not just: How can I think this is not so bad? No, it is how to will yourself to see that this must be good — an opportunity to gain a new foothold, go in a better direction or practice a new virtue. it’s not just about having a positive mindset but learning to be ceaselessly creative and opportunistic.

Overcoming obstacles is a discipline of three critical steps. It begins with how we look at our specific problems, our attitude or approach; then the energy and creativity with which we actively break them down and turn them into opportunities; finally, the cultivation and maintenance of an inner will that allows us to handle defeat and difficulty. It’s three interdependent, interconnected, and fluidly contingent disciplines: Perception , Action, and the Will.

1. Perception

Situations on their own cannot be good or bad. This is something — a judgment — that you bring to them with your perceptions. When you stumble upon an unfavourable situation, it’s your preconception that tells you things were supposed to be a certain way and that you are now at a disadvantage.

Despair and helplessness are a product of your perceptions and you need to realise that nothing makes you feel this way, you choose to give in to such feelings. When you are emotional, subjective and shortsighted, you only add to our troubles. You can begin to get some clarity by removing yourself from the problem and just looking at the problem for what it is.

The thing about perception is that it is completely within your control. You are in control of how you interpret events. Just because your mind tells you that something is awful, doesn’t mean you have to agree. You can question the impulses of your mind and disagree with them. In the face of a testing situation, don’t let negative emotions get started. Simply say, “No thank you, I cannot afford to panic.”

This by no means means that you are not allowed to feel. Give yourself a moment if you have to, just be careful not to confuse emoting with problem-solving. Feel your emotions but remind yourself that you are in control, not your emotions.

In the face of an obstacle, try:

To be objective (pretend it’s not happening to you).

Put things into perspective.

Don’t let your emotions control you.

Focus on what can be controlled because energy directed towards things you can’t change is self-indulgent and self-destructive.

All of this does not happen on its own, it’s a process that results from self-discipline.

2. Action

Once you properly perceive problems for what they are, you must act to solve them.

Get started — anywhere, anyhow. Don’t wait for the conditions to be perfect. You have to create the momentum yourself.

On the path to successful action, you will fail multiple times and that’s okay. From each failure, you get feedback from the world — it’s giving you instructions to improve or trying to wake you up from your cluelessness. Be sure to take notes on them. This means you need to be iterative and persistent with your actions.

Focus on the process, not the outcome. Most of the worries and stress associated with a “project” comes when we are too fixated on the outcome.

Always remember to not let a serious crisis go to waste. Things that you had postponed for too long and that were long term are now immediate and must be dealt with.

3. Will

If Perception and Action were the disciplines of the mind and the body, then Will is the discipline of the heart and the soul. The will is the one thing you control completely, always.

You can think, act, and finally adjust to a world that is inherently unpredictable. The will is what prepares us for this, protects us against it, and allows us to thrive and be happy in spite of it. Will gives you the strength to endure, contextualize, and derive meaning from the obstacles we cannot simply overcome.

Will makes up the Inner Citadel, that fortress inside of us that no external adversity can ever break down. We are not born with such a structure, it must be built and actively reinforced.

Before any endeavour, do a pre-mortem — try to envision what could go wrong. This will not only help you better prepare for it but if you know what could go wrong, you will have the will and the strength to bear it.

Once you distinguish between the things that are and aren’t up to you, there’s one option left — acceptance. To be clear, this is not the same as giving up, this is for things immune to action.

After managing expectations, understanding some things are beyond your control and accepting what happens to you, you need to love whatever happens to you and face it cheerfully.