What do you see when you look in the mirror?
By: Danielle Wright
Tags: Body Image, Authenticity, Self Love

I stepped out of the shower the other day and light hit me just right, and I begin to examine my body. I saw myself pale, lumpy, disproportionate, and…average.

My mind traced through the countless images of perfect bodies we see plastered all over the planet and not one of them seemed to line up with mine.

For a split second the shame ingrained in me poked it’s ugly head out and tried desperately to rain even harder on my average body parade. But as soon as I recognized the feeling of shame and self-judgement creeping over me, the little voice inside my head changed tone. After that split second, I looked up again and realized I was glowing.

My eyes began tracing back over my body seeing it for what it really is — mine. When you feel beautiful on the inside, when you work hard to be your best self — it shows. The light that had originally been highlighting my supposed “flaws” began to bounce off of and illuminate the very things that I believe make me beautiful. It was my moment of realization that I have reached a blissful level of self-acceptance.

My perky little B cup breasts are one (well, two) of a kind. I may be pale but so what? I have received compliments about my complexion my entire life, why haven’t I noticed the beauty of my skin before? My natural hair has some wicked cool waves I know women with straight hair would kill for.

It was as if the woman inside me took out her flyswatter and began batting away all the things my shame-brain was trying to use to bring me down — and it was empowering to say the least.

For so many other women struggling with body image, Here is my advice — don’t.

Let that toxic shit go!

You’re fucking beautiful.

Look at yourself for WHO you are, who you really and truly are. Admire all the pieces of you that exist just as they are, and embrace yourself. If you seek change in your appearance, do it because YOU want it.

Don’t change yourself because you’re trying to get closer to the look of the girl in the magazine.

We are conditioned to believe we are not good enough as we are. We are constantly exposed to media that is designed to manipulate us into believing their version of existence — perfect bodies, perfect marriages, perfect friends, perfect kids, and perfect lives are attainable. If you buy this product, you’ll be happy! If you drive this car, you’ll be respected! If you lose weight, you’ll be worthy of belonging! And so it goes…we are always comparing ourselves, assessing our lack of this or that and it’s bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.

In order to find love, you have to look the part. In order to keep love, you have to meet certain standards. In order to be accepted by whatever group you want to be associated with you have to do as they do. In order to be respected, you have to put people down.

Guess what? You don’t. And why would you want to spend your precious life trying to live up to the expectations of people who want you to be someone else?

Be brave.

You are a precious being.

Encourage other women to look into their hearts and free their authentic selves. Throw out the magazines, get off of Instagram, get out into the world and absorb the true beauty of life.

There are flowers to smell, and people to meet and share your smile with.

Work for the beauty within, because it will always shine brighter than anything else.

Work toward the moment when you can look in the mirror and see your “average” body, and smile because you know that you aren’t anywhere close to being average.