I’m a Gun-toting Pacifist; No, Really
By: Gun-Totin
Tags: Gun Culture, Second Amendment, Self Defense, Gun Control, Guns

I feel like a walking contradiction. I am a pacifist, and not in that lame “si vis pacem, para bellum” way. I detest guns. I loathe the National Rifle Association and all that it stands for. I think advocating for gun control is a fool’s errand and instead the Second Amendment should be repealed and replaced with an amendment that makes the ownership and/or possession of firearms illegal. Three weeks ago I purchased a handgun.

I am still working through this paradox. The morning I purchased the handgun, I was reading through a Buddhist magazine, while wrestling with what I was about to do. I came across an article on accepting and sitting with the paradoxes of life as one would sit with a Zen koan. Now I have become my own Zen koan: I am an unapologetic pacifist; I own a handgun. So with all this inner conflict, why did I purchase a handgun? After decades of living in inner city neighborhoods, was I suddenly terrified that some “criminal” was going to break into my house and inexplicably try to kill me? No, that’s a Fox News fever dream.

In a subsequent post, I plan on describing in more detail the deliberations that led me to purchase a handgun. Stated succinctly, the alarming events of the last several months made it abundantly clear that a sizable group of people in this country who have been stockpiling weapons for decades are now becoming increasingly aggressive and willing to employ those weapons in public to threaten those who disagree with them. Further, because of my passion for the outdoors, I regularly travel into areas of the country outside of urban centers, and those areas are becoming dangerous by reason of gun-wielding militias. Was I willing to allow myself and those with me to be threatened and possibly attacked by people willing to use guns to force us to comply with their objectionable ideologies, beliefs, and demands?

No. I decided I need to be prepared to resist these potential threats. Even so, why take the step of buying a handgun? Well, the last four years have also demonstrated that those willing to use guns to intimidate people are not swayed by reasoned argument or attempts at persuasion; they only understand their guns and the threat of violence their guns project. As much as I resisted it, I came to the conclusion that in the face of this increasing need for self-defense, I required a handgun and a corresponding proficiency with it.

This brings me to this blog and why I started it. I knew that I could not just purchase a gun and think that would be all I needed to do any more than I would have bought a parachute and straight away jumped out of an airplane. Unlike all these people strutting around with rifles, play acting being Rambo, I understand a firearm is a serious thing. So, in addition to purchasing a handgun, I have been delving into the culture around guns: looking at training options, videos, product reviews (and the attendant marketing messages). I have discovered much and already have observations, thoughts, and opinions that I plan on discussing in subsequent posts.

It also occurred to me that just as I had taken a step that I never imagined taking a year ago, there might be other people who oppose guns or advocate for gun control but who have also taken or are contemplating taking the step of purchasing a gun for the purpose of self-defense against the increasing threat of right-wing violence. I also started to wonder if this becomes a thing, how might it affect gun culture by adding novel voices to it. Then I happened upon a Joe Rogan episode titled “The Shifting Culture of Guns” which I thought might cover new ground on the topic. Disappointingly it was merely another example of two frat-bro types going on about how guns are cool, how those who oppose guns are stupid, and congratulating each other on how smart they are (yes, I watched all of it). To say it was less than I had hoped for in terms of discussing any actual change to gun culture would be an understatement. As a side note, at time stamp 2:39:11 it did validate the reason I purchased a handgun; right-wing, second amendment fanatical militias are becoming the greatest threat to our being able to maintain a civil society.

I remain hopeful that there might be a discussion to be had about how gun culture could be changed if increasingly those who value peace, oppose guns, and promote a political agenda of equality, social justice, and righteousness feel compelled to purchase a gun to defend against the violence and tyranny of gun-wielding white supremacists and far-right militias. If there is to be such a discussion, I figured why not see if I could help start it. Hence this blog.

If I have said anything in this post that prompts questions or comments, simpatico or otherwise, tell me about it.

Let‘s talk.

guntotinpacifist@gmail.com