Every Transition Is Different
By: Arabelle J.
Tags: LGBTQ, Transitioning, Transgender

Gender Transition

Every Transition Is Different

The transgender experience has common threads — but is unique to each individual

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

In the transgender social groups around here, there's a joke that's as worn as button-fly jeans from the 90s. It goes something like this:

Q — What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual?

A — About two years.

That joke still gets airtime — Ace of Base style — even now. Like their song The Sign, it just won't go away.

Like a Bra Clasp That Digs Into Your Back

Let me tell you why I find that joke as grating as a bra where the cloth has worn off the clasps that hold it closed.

My three reasons in ascending order:

I hate the word crossdresser.

I hate that the joke assumes that everyone follows the same path on the same timeline.

I hate that the joke reinforces the idea that visible transitioning is like a badge of belonging in a lot of trans circles.

Are You Trans Enough to Be Here?

Are you somehow less trans if you’re in the granny lane of the grand transition highway? If you’re stuck in the breakdown lane?

No, of course not.

You’re not just a crossdresser, or an admirer. Unless you are. And that’s fine too, if that’s the case.

But, it’s just the assumptions, the dismissals, the need to categorize everything…that drives people away, underground, alone.

Don’t we get enough of that in regular society?

Humans — transgender people included — like to fit things into pretty little boxes. Apparently, it’s wired into our brains. But, seriously, can we stop rating how trans we are based on what we wear, how we look, and the transness of our social media content?

Trans and Privilege

Sometimes, how trans we are is really a function of how much privilege we have.

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey (USTS) conducted by the National Center

for Transgender Equality asked over 27,000 transgender and nonbinary people about their trans experiences.

One-quarter of respondents reported that they had insurance issues when they sought care as transgender individuals — either for gender transition itself, or for routine care, just because they were transgender.

Over half (55%) couldn’t get coverage for transition-related surgery.

And, in 2015, the economy was booming for many, and we didn’t have these Great Depression-levels of unemployment and job insecurity.

…That’s not even getting into the fact that many people who identify as transgender don’t want transition-related surgery:

Among transgender women, while nearly half have had hair removal and nearly the other half want it, these numbers drop off sharply for procedures like silicone injections and tracheal shaves.

Similarly, for transgender men, while well over 95% seek or have had chest surgery and over 70% seek or want hysterectomies, these numbers drop off sharply for bottom-related surgeries.

Surgery isn’t for everyone, and isn’t available to everyone, even if they’re just as transgender as everyone else.

Loaded Question

So, what is the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? Here’s a lame, but true answer: it depends.

The answer depends on a lot of things we can’t know just by looking at someone, and falling prey to that base human instinct of assigning people and things into categories, neat boxes.

Maybe the difference is about privilege, money, fear, or just time and effort. Who knows? But, maybe, in the end, we should just let people decide for themselves how trans they are.

And stop challenging them.