The Ultimate Example Of Forgiveness
By: Maria Rattray
Tags: Peace Of Mind, Happiness In Life, Resilience, Forgiveness, Moving On

To err is human, but to forgive, allows us to be free and enjoy our lives.

Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash

Those of you who read my articles know that I am very much vested in forgiveness. If you want to enjoy internal peace, if you want the sun to shine on you, if you want to free the pain, learn the art of forgiveness.

Think of forgiveness not as something magnanimous, but more as a gift to yourself, allowing you to move on.

Nobody would suggest that it’s easy, nor is it about negating any harm done, or about kissing and making up.

But it’s very much about the release of pain, knowing that you have done the right thing.

Forgiving is better for your health, it frees you up to get on with life, which as everyone reminds us, is short enough.

That being the case, why on earth would you polish your anger instead, and feed your ill-health?

Today I was passing one of my favorite wine shops and I did a little window shopping.

Okay, I lie. It wasn’t window shopping. I actually went into the store, and that’s to your advantage. Had I not done so, I would probably not have recalled this story that I now share with you.

It goes back a fair few years, to the early days of our marriage and my introduction to drinking wine, real wine that is. Before that I had no palate for wine, probably because I had never tasted anything worth drinking.

But where my husband worked, a gourmet club had been established, and once each month we would meet in the home of one of the couples and eat fine food and drink even finer wine.

I had to learn very quickly to do two things, learn how to cook, AND appreciate fine wine! They were fun times.

One night I was talking to one of the men in the group, Ian. He’d just been to the funeral of an older friend who’d passed away. He told me that he’d got talking to the youngest son after the funeral, who told him that he had ‘hated the old bastard. So,” he said, “I got my own back on him. I drank all his Grange Hermitage.”

Ian gulped. He had been storing his personal collection of Grange in the father’s cellar in the Adelaide Hills, over a number of years.

He had three dozen bottles stored there, along with other fine wines. In fact all the Grange bottles in the cellar belonged to him.

Now just to put you in the picture. I had a look today at a 2010 vintage. That now sells for $3000 Australian dollars. I know, totally obscene, but people will pay that money. So, three dozen bottles in today’s terms would be $108 000.

Ian’s vintages would have been older, so worth a lot more money.

“What did you say?” I asked. “How did you react? I mean, he must have known is was good wine.”

At that stage I was thinking about a friend of mine who would not even try a red because she hated the taste. My husband bought a bottle of Grange for her to try, (not a three thousand dollar one,) and she was hooked! That’s how good it is!

Ian’s answer has stayed with me to this day.

“You know,” he said, “if I couldn’t let this go I was always going to be a prisoner in my own jail. Sure, it hurt, but I’ll get over it. This young fellow will grow up to realize what he did. Meantime, I’ve decided to be kind to myself. He’s not off the hook, but I am.”

It brought a tear to my eye. Would that many more of us could so determinedly forgive. And would that we could do so, with such a huge heart.

There are clear benefits to forgiving:

Enjoying a clear mind

Having a stronger, more resilient immune system

Feeling good about ourselves

Being able to be happy

Being wonderful to be around

We have all been hurt at times, often by people who don’t give it a second thought. It’s part of being alive. But if we determine to be forgiving. it will show up in so many ways.

We will be happier, stronger, able to care, and able heal over time. And you’ll be liberated.

It’s not about pretending something didn’t happen.

Nor is it about not being angry.

But it’s very much about personally taking charge, getting over things, and enabling peace.

Failing to forgive means that you shortchange your life. You are unable to enjoy the present, often bitter, and people tend to avoid you.

There are two options here.

You fail to forgive and the hurt hangs over you like a dark cloud, or you let it go, turn a corner, and life goes on.

If the forgiveness demands a huge shift, it may take time, and hard work, but the intention should be there nonetheless. Holding on to anger means that you tote around a heavy, burdensome load that will, in the end, drag you down.

So…let it go. Set yourself free. Feel the earth move.Life is good.