Life States
By: Ryan J. Pearce
Tags: Reflections Of Life, Poetry, Philosophy, Religion And Spirituality

There are 4 states in life that define our existence, 2 we all must see and 2 we choose. On these all human life hinges and in these all human life is defined.

Today I am born, the darkness of my incubation in preparation and the emptiness of pre-existence replaced by the light freshness of this new realm and a barrage of substance at once bright and startling, overwhelming and violent, the beginning of an unpredictable journey of laughter and joy, tears and sadness, sorrow and pain, violence and anger, a clamorous raucous of action and emotion, relationships, the dealing with of others and solitude, the reconciling of oneself. Into this do I spring at once hesitant yet anxious, eager yet fearful, nervous yet ready to experience this indescribably amazing thing that is life in all its wondrous fullness; and though I cannot see whether great splendor and remarkable achievement or terrible calamity and disastrous evil may come of it, this one thing I know, I live!

Today I die, the wonder that was my life lived to its fullest or barely lived at all, has been through its climax, in my prime where the world seemed all at once to be mine to take, and through the crushing defeats that I thought would end me there and lead me here where I stand now at death’s door. My life that I regarded as so precious a thing, with each breath, that I struggled and breezed through, so full of people known, the connection, places been, the experience, things achieved, the mark, plays ever in my mind and is laid bare, a tale to be told, a plot with characters to cherish and despise, a series of lessons to be learnt, morals and mistakes, a fond memory in certain hearts and a passing reflection in some minds. What lies ahead on this road so frequently traveled, along this well worn path none but them that have gone before know, though we all in hope believe in many different destinations, of mine I am sure as I am sure of this my death.

Today I am born again, freed from the dark caves of self indulgences where I skulked in oblivious existence to my tormented soul, struggling in its imperfection against itself, frozen heart, unable to feel or usher true feeling without some hidden motive and enslaved will, trapped under the bonds of some great force at once unknown but heavily there, into the fields of divine pleasure, where peace is the fragrance of the blossoms that fill the air and my soul breathes it in and finds rest and joy, sunshine melting the cold barriers of my heart into the warmth of true love, true feeling, true life, and this love like some great hero, rushing in on wild stallion plucking me from invisible chains to marry me to freedom forever. I am overwhelmed in goodness as we ride through the world where I had always dwelt but that somehow looked new, fresh, changed only to realize that it was not an external but internal transformation that now alters my vision to something indescribable, incomparable, unexplainable yet boundlessly wonderful in its quality. this new journey tastes of hope and I am at once a babe beginning life a new, to be lived for a new purpose and goal not of my own choosing but one chosen for me from the foundations of the world, one that fulfills my ultimate purpose and gives my life its true meaning, as is the case with those born again.

Today I marry, ending the long lonely sojourn of my heart, searching as it were for something mysteriously significant, some piece of the grand puzzle of life missing from the beginning and always lost seeking to be found, and with it my freedom from a life of unrestricted pleasure and fun in the playground of the world that offers so much exotic tastes for the single soul to enjoy to the conscious chains of this matrimony before me, for I have found that mysteriously significant piece that so long thwarted my heart and it is in this piece I find more freedom than all the unrestricted pleasures, that playground at once could muster. indeed, it is staring into these eyes now that I see the truth of what I was, wondering around in the world ignorant to my own painful loneliness, what I am, one who has found the answer, the piece, the soul companion of this my journey, what I will be, finally whole and truly free in the arms of this love and my own, and at this smile I find so much more than mere fun, altogether more exciting than anything a lonely trekker could find though they search all the world for all their days, and in these arms I find pleasures more exotic and satisfying than could be bought with an eternity on my own. So from some enigmatic soul connection I find this love in my heart formed and prospered on some un-shakeably stubborn principle of will that I offer up as reasoning for joining myself to this my soulmate as one, giving up individuality for a mysterious duality, loneliness for companionship, freedom for responsibility, fame for legacy, life for love and receiving as reward a new life, expanded, enriched and truly meaningful, the life of one who marries.