Sorry About The Q Anon Thing. Love, Quentin Tarantino XX
By: Andy Killoran
Tags: Apology, Humor, Q Anon, Tarantino, Comedy

Sorry About The Q Anon Thing. Love, Quentin Tarantino XX

“I honestly thought you’d all have got the joke by now.” A totally fictitious interview with the movie director

Carol Butt (CB), interviewer: I’m here with Quentin Tarantino who wants to make a short statement and will then answer some questions — Mr Tarantino?

QT: Please, call me Q. Hello everyone. I have a movie in post-production right now. The working title is ‘Tarantino 12’, which is a smokescreen — we’ve been keeping the real name under wraps, to do a big release. I can tell you now, movie is actually called ‘Deep In A Deep State’.

CB: Wait…so you’ve made a movie based on the Q Anon conspiracy theories?

QT: No — this is, sadly, life imitating art: We created Q Anon, Deep State, the whole shebang, just to market the movie. Everyone knows that regular advertising is dead, viral social media is the only way to go. So, we dreamt the whole thing up. But no-one was really meant to believe it.

CB: But Q, the enigmatic messages and clues, the whole thing…?

QT: Yup. Sorry. I mean, in a way, it's been a fantastic success. Q Anon is me — the letters are all right there in Quentin Tarantino: And millions of people are talking about Deep State even before we announced the name of the movie. But we didn’t think people would actually fall for it, not for real.

CB: Wait, listen. That first message that Q — well, that you, sent: “Disunited FICA sodemy” — that’s been interpreted to mean that the American public is being shafted by FICA, the Fed Insurance Contributions Act?

QT: Yes, no. It’s an anagram. There’s a really famous line in ‘Kill Bill’: “Do you find me sadistic?” — that’s it.

CB: So the message “Assertive Khyber teeth” — that was a warning about the need to pull our troops from the Khyber Pass in Afghanistan, yes?

QT: Ah, no. That’s the line “AK47 — the best there is” from Jackie Brown. Sorry.

CB: “AWOL home note” — not an existential cry to protect the suburban landscape disappearing under a tide of un-American change?

QT: No, that’s just “Home Alone Two” — it’s one of my favourite movies that I didn’t work on and I was getting bored by then

CB: So, what’s changed? Why are you ‘outing’ yourself in this way?

QT: Well honestly, we got a bit concerned when Edgar Welch went to the DC pizzeria armed with an AR15. He wanted to free the kids trapped in the basement. I don’t know what he did when he discovered the building has no basement. We worried the joke had gone too far…

CB: So, then what?

QT: We tossed a coin. Heads and we were gonna come clean, tails and we would double-down and for sure blow this thing outta the water. It was tails, so we started to add that the Trump presidency had been deliberately brought about to rescue all the kids and end the Deep State conspiracy and 5G masts would activate microchips injected in vaccines. We figured that even ‘flat-earthers’ and whack-jobs would have a hard time swallowing that lot. But we were wrong. It got worse. Also, we want to release the movie, but how will it play if 35% of the potential audience think it’s a documentary? It’s a very black comedy, is what it is.

CB: The movie is a black comedy?

QT: No, life in America is. As Q himself said “Amphitheatre fought honest”.

CB: That’s not a ‘call to arms’ for patriots to come rescue the country?

QT: Nope. It’s a quote from Pulp Fiction: “the path of a righteous man”

CB: Quentin Tarantino — Q — thank you for your time.

QT: Stay safe. It’s a crazy world out there