The Newborn Paradigm. I recently had a conversation with a…
By: Ashley Kruse
Tags: Parental Leave, Maternity Leave, Newborn, Career Confusion, Paternity Leave

Photo by Zach Lucero on Unsplash

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine that revolved around something I call the “post-baby mindset shift.” If you’re a parent, you might understand what I mean when I say that there is a radical change in mentality after completing your maternity/paternity leave. As you prepare to enter back into the career world, it hits you…”WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?” This unexpected shift brings a lot of scary truth into your safe, parenting bubble because the world gets a whole lot bigger, you have a lot less time, and as is the case with most first-time parents, you are coming down from the incredibly humbling newborn experience.

As I thought about my own personal shift, one thing was crystal-clear: I was tired of trying to fit into a box that just never really clicked and for the first time ever, I didn’t care because I had a new place in life that put things in a whole new perspective; and luckily, being a #millennialparent has it’s perks! We, unlike our parents and grandparents, don’t have to draw a line in the sand and choose between careers and parenting because yes, we can have both!

“I was tired of trying to fit into a box that just never really clicked and for the first time in my life, I didn’t care … because I had a new place in life.

So, once we have the realization that our mindset shift has happened, what do we do about it so we can take action? For me, it was taking time to explore my strengths and passions and that began with making a list! I spent a lot of time developing this list and it looked a little something like this:

WHAT AM I PASSIONATE ABOUT?

Learning — I freakin’ love learning. Do you have an e-Course that can teach me about crystals and supermoons? Sign me up! Planning — I have this knack for planning. Whether it was my territory plan or an office event, I thrived during the planning process. I have an intense desire to create the best possible experience for my clients and my colleagues. Mentoring — I love to help others on the come up. There’s something incredible about watching someone’s inner light bulb go off and personally I get really amped when I am part of someone else’s success. In fact, it often times was the only thing that kept me going in my previous career. Wellness — In all of my spare time, I am most passionate and will always read or research anything I can about nutrition, natural and holistic health remedies, and fitness.

Once I had my list, I started brainstorming all of the different ways I could make a living with flexibility but unfortunately, nothing really stood out to me as the best option (this process isn’t easy folks). One evening, I sought encouragement through one of my best girlfriends. She had recently started a brand new business and in awe of her I just blurted out, “girl, you are incredible and I’m so proud of you.” She laughed and said, “you should be a life coach.” From that fateful moment, my heart lit on fire and I realized that being a life/mindset coach embodied my greatest passions and values and from that point on, I made it my mission to be the best damn life/mindset coach I could be.

After you have kids, something inside of you shifts whether or not you realize it. If you’re like me you might completely rebel and flip your world upside down with drastic change; or you may feel the shift and begin exploring different options that align to your comfort level; or perhaps you may not even realize the shift actually happened (don’t worry, you will). In any of these scenarios, I want you to be empowered! Know that you have a choice if you feel the urge to change it up. Know that you are in the driver seat of your own life and you have options. Is it scary to make a big change right after you have a baby? Hell yes! Do you have to do it right after you have a baby? Hell no! The point is to be encouraged and take little steps in some direction that can and will make you happy. Make lists, find a a tribe that will get you through the rough moments with encouragement, and know with complete certainty that you deserve everything you’ve ever desired.