A Letter to my Younger Self. Dear Younger Self,
By: Tahmid Chowdhury
Tags: Mindset, Reflection, Islam

Dear Younger Self,

So, you’re about to graduate and soon hit the world of work… congratulations! You’ve hopefully made some solid friendships and picked up a load of life skills along the way. Now to get a flattering graduation photo to upload on Instagram and caption it “Uni? Completed it mate.” and figure out how you’re gunna prevent being discombobulated by the enigmatic puzzle known as life!

Now let’s get into it. Firstly, stop using words like discombobulated and enigmatic. You sound silly. Secondly, and probably the most important thing to get in order, is management of your personal finances. No longer are the days of reckless spending without proper due care of a longer term plan. So how do you manage and maximise your finances? Sure, track your spending and set aside budgets if you like. But central to this conundrum is being able to negotiate as much as possible. I thought Bengali’s were the best at this when at Whitechapel market I saw a man bargain a £5 fish down to £1 fish (yes, I sang the song in my head just now too), until last summer I ACTUALLY saw an Egyptian man (the seller) say “usually I would sell this item for £20 but for you habibi just £3”. And this was before the buyer had even opened his mouth!

Ok end of jokes. In all seriousness, there must be a lot of things on your mind right now, each bringing their own bout of emotions from excitement, uncertainty and anxiety. I won’t underestimate the importance of this transitional time, and neither should you.

Going forward, you’ll face several situations where you’ll have to make difficult decisions. Should I take this job? Should I marry this person? Should I trust this overly friendly Arab man trying to sell me this supposedly £20 umbrella for £3?. Precision in thought is important. But it’s one of the hardest things to have. Yet such is the beauty of our religion that Allah ﷻ has provided us solutions. One of the most powerful tools through istikhara. The beauty of this is that whatever course you take, it was according to Allah’s ﷻ guidance and there are blessings even if you cannot see it or make sense of it.

And you shouldn’t reduce it just for the biggie decisions. Did you know, the sahabah used to pray istikhara for everyday mundane situations such as what shoe laces to buy at the market!

There’ll be many times when you’ll question the direction you’re taking, no doubt. So don’t let the future terrify you, and be confident in the plan of Allah ﷻ, the best of all planners.

And be mindful of the following. Life is not lived in isolation and you essentially have three relationships. They can be categorised as such:

You and Yourself You and Others i.e. people/surroundings You and Allah ﷻ

Most people you’ll interact with in the workplace (unless you’re joining a religious institution/organisation) won’t have that last one let alone given it any thought. And that’s THE most powerful of them all, and transcends the first two relationships (as you’ve hopefully see below!) Inextricably linked. There’s so much to say on each one, but I hope the following advices may be beneficial to you:

You and Yourself

Take care of your body —follow the mantra trio eat well, exercise and sleep well. These three things are VITAL to all round healthy state whereby one can maximise productivity, energy and general mood throughout the day. Practical advice — try and become a morning person; start your day after Fajr as is the Sunnah of our Prophet saw. This is one of the best things that’ll revolutionise your life (trust me, I’m from the future). You’ll have a head start on the rest of the world, start your day having already accomplished things, and you’ll get so much more from your day.

Take care of your MIND — a seriously underestimated. Be wary of shaytaan’s ploys in polluting your mind, especially through internal dialogue = “ugh I’m not good enough for this”, “I’ll never be as good as X”, “I’m never going to be able to cope”.. etc. Remember purpose — why Allah ﷻ created us.

Many a time it’ll be tough to keep up with life demands and resultantly you may find your emaan dip. Practical Tip: Fill your daily thoughts with Dhikr, whether it be walking or in your commute, beautiful supplications such as Subhanallahi Wa Bihamdihi, Subhanallaihl Azeem. Regulate your social media use but when you do use it, subscribe to beneficial accounts, these little niblets of knowledge can go a long way to keeping yourself immersed in remembrance and It’ll also keep you mindful of staying away from harmful content.

You and People

Maintain a strong relationship with family, particularly your parents. Continue finding ways to make your parents proud! If you’ve done something good at work, don’t shy away from telling them about it. If you find it hard to express emotion with either or both your parents, there are many ways to show affection, such as asking them how they are and going to them for advice. Take heed of the importance of being dutiful and honouring parents, and the status that is given to them in our religion. Also keep positive relations with their friends and siblings. Always be mindful you are a role model to your younger siblings whether its noticeable or not, spend a lot of time with them, be patient, teaching them and showing your love.

Always remember that you are an ambassador of Islam, and your non-Muslim colleagues will learn a lot through you. Be polite, smile, forgive others. Always seek to embody the sunnah of our beloved Prophet ﷺ who practiced sakeenah in his daily life — not calling people from afar, walking leisurely yet with purpose, being gentle and patient. And keep good friends and companions who remind you of Allah ﷻ, and be that friend to others too.

And wherever you go, always try to leave something of benefit, whether its knowledge you shared, a Qur’an in the Masjid, a charitable donation or even a kind word to a resident.

You and Allah ﷻ

و يمكرون و يمكر الله و الله خير الماكرين

But they plan and Allah plans, and Allah is the best of planners (8:30)

This really is the key one of them all. The winning formula. A somewhat famous saying that many scholars cite is that “if you want to speak to Allah, then pray, and if you want Allah to speak to you, then read the Qur’an”, both of which is accessible to you. Always keep your intentions pure and for the sake of Allah ﷻ, and don’t just make it something you remind yourself at the beginning of a course of action, but consistently remind yourself and correct it. Remember you can do whatever you put your mind to. It might mean taking a step back from active front line extracurricular work, but so long as your intention is pure, you’ll still get rewarded and be able to dedicate later years to community, personal study etc. Intentions truly are a big secret to success.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has given us his lived experience and advice on how to navigate all three of the relationship types above, and through him was delivered the best guidance of them all — that is the book of Allah ﷻ, the holy Qur’an. Make this your best friend. Spend some time really understanding and pondering.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

“Allah, the Most High said: ‘I am as My slave thinks of Me, and I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me to himself, I remember him to Myself, and if he remembers Me in a gathering, I remember him in a gathering better than that. And if he seeks to draw nearer to Me by a hand span, I draw nearer to him by a forearm’s length, and if he comes to Me by a forearm’s length, I draw nearer to him by an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I come to him quickly.’”

Let me sign off this letter by asking the following question: If I were to ask you, rhetorically, what is the sweetest thing in this life, for you, at this moment– what would you say? Is it your family and enjoy their company? Is it your good health? Is it having a roof over your head? Is it your ability to travel and see the world and all its beauty? Have a think about it before you read on.

In many respects, these are all noble responses. These are all blessings that we have, that many in the world do not. Now for those who do not have a way of life, i.e. a purpose or an aqeedah, would many of them not respond the same way? Would they not say the same things?

So what it is that differentiates our responses, as Muslims? It is our ability to recognise the source of these blessings — which they come from Allah ﷻ the almighty. It is our ability to know that what we do have or what we don’t have is all decreed by Allah ﷻ, the provider of all good. Always be mindful of this, to be thankful and to glorify Allah ﷻ.

Ibn al Qayyim (r) — “How pitiful, the worldly people! They leave this life without ever having tasted the sweetest thing in it […] The love of Allah, the knowledge of Allah and the remembrance of Allah.”

Tc Wsalaam. Your Brother,

Tahmid

This article was written for new graduates for the UCL Islamic Society Alumni Network.