A Short Guide on Affirmations in Life and Leadership
By: Enzo M. Battista-Dowds Phd. Rd.
Tags: Life Lessons, Inspiration, Leadership, Motivation, Communication

Context is everything

If we dissect an affirmation, we might wonder, “what does preparing a meal have to do with being artistic?” Maybe nothing. Maybe everything.

It might not be common to hear, but that can be what makes it compelling. I was once on the receiving end of this exact affirmation, and I felt instantly validated, uplifted, proud. Maybe because I’m a dietitian and I love food, or that I simply want my food to look a certain way. Artistic even.

I’m conscious that written affirmations don’t have equal gravitas when compared to their verbal counterparts. And that the affirmations discussed above might not resonate with you, or the people in your life.

This is because context is everything.

To be congruent — to affirm effectively — we need to be mindful of the circumstances, the situation, the personalities, and most importantly, the values of the people in our lives. Affirmations written as examples simply can’t capture that context.

But the point is that affirmations can feel compelling when we “double-up”.

If you tell someone that their essay is outstanding with no follow-up, then they might reply with, “What’s outstanding about it?” If we then qualify with “because it’s methodical.” Now, we’re assigning the qualifier to the product, not the person.

In this instance, can the person on the receiving end of the affirmation say, “I did an outstanding essay because I was methodical”?

They could, but the possibility is, that they subconsciously hear, “I did an outstanding essay because it was methodical.”

Now, they no longer own the positive affirmation, their product does. This situation can permit someone, especially with low self-esteem, to tell themselves that their behaviour was a one-off, a fluke.

When we maintain the value affirmation — for example, you’re methodical — we present a compelling scenario. We create the mental space for someone to believe that they can be or are a methodical person.

If a recipient values the quality of being methodical, they are more likely to internalise the affirmation as a positive self-belief. Their self-esteem builds, and with it, motivation — this process of internalising beliefs is from the research of Self Determination Theory.

The limits of affirmation

Affirmations, especially compelling affirmations, can give us validation. Build self-esteem. Ignite a spark. Being gifted an affirmation can help discover a new self-belief and improve self-efficacy (self-confidence).

Increased self-efficacy can be enough for certain people to try something different and be more at ease with the unknown. So, affirmations can help people to stop procrastinating and become reinvigorated with motivation.

But they not a panacea.

They are one communication skill, one motivational skill, one leadership skill. Nevertheless, I wholeheartedly believe that developing affirmation skills are certainly worth our time and effort.

We could all do with more positivity in our lives. Especially recently. What could be more positive and affirming, than when someone sees the good in us? When they not only see us but communicate that they do so? Is there anything more uplifting than when someone tells us what we always want to hear, and sometimes feel desperate for others to recognise?

You can be that compassionate agent. Inspire the people you love and lead. Or, at least, make their day with an affirmation. Maybe even a compelling affirmation.