With Love, The Other Woman
By: Natasha Srivastava
Tags: Relationships, Life, Love, Cheating, Life Lessons

“Sometimes, people do terrible things. Doesn’t mean they’re terrible people.”

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

If you hurt someone and they don’t know it, does it mean you didn’t really do that much harm or that you’ve done more harm than can never be forgiven? Eventually, all our sins catch up to us, don’t they?

Every time I asked for more of you, I was stealing what was hers. In the loving moments, I cherished more than everything else in the world, I was pushing the knife deeper and deeper in her back without even feeling a speck of guilt. I’m a hypocrite for cringing at the news of people I know getting cheated on because I made you do it. I pushed you to do it more. I let you let her live in the dark, oblivious to something happening right in front of her eyes.

In my heart, I knew that I might never have all of you. So I believed I deserved to get as much of you as I can, while I can. I get how stupid that sounds when I say it out loud today. At the time, that’s what kept me alive.

I kept telling myself that I was doing nothing wrong, I was just chasing the epic love of my life. I thought I’m doing it for the person I love and what they do to someone isn’t on me. Except it is. It is on me, just as much as it is on you.

Every single time, that you lied to her because of me, I was equal parts responsible and never did I own up to it. The worst part is that I had been in her place once before. I had been the one living in the dark and I knew exactly how painful being in her shoes is. But I did it anyway.

Trust me, when I say this, never in my worst nightmares did I think that I’d be the homewrecker…

I didn’t know I would become this person that poisons another soul, day after day. But I was just so madly in love with you that I didn’t care who gets their heart broken as long as it wasn’t mine. I wasn’t entirely wrong to look out for myself, was I? No one else was going to. You were looking out for her and I had no one looking out for me. It seemed only fair.

I am a good person, you know that better than anyone. And I know from the depths of my heart that you are too. It’s true what they say—when you love so deeply that you can die for them, you can also kill for them.

I wasn’t a horrible, immoral homewrecker like one would assume. I was just a woman who fell hard for a man who was already spoken for and didn’t know how to go back. You were not a lying, cheating monster. Just a person who bonded with another person when he shouldn’t have. You felt the love as I cried with my head buried in your chest and I felt it too when you pulled me closer, comforting me for something that broke you just as much as me.

It takes a lot of courage to walk away from someone you deeply care about. We keep looking for the signs and ignore what our gut tells us. Not everyone has the will or the strength to do the right things, at the right time. And that is not a flaw worth being condemned for.

I’ll take a moment to quote Meredith Grey again, “Sometimes, people do terrible things. Doesn’t mean they’re terrible people.”

We loved each other, in absolute toxic secrecy, going against all our morals, ethics and values. The love we were desperately clinging onto, turned us into all the things we weren’t. Yet it wasn’t enough. And that’s okay because there is enough love in the world for everyone to live their fairytale. Life goes beyond the concept of ‘forgive and forget’ and ‘one true love’.

We walked away from each other — while it was emotionally draining, both our lives have been better since. The whole ordeal taught me a lot about love, life and principles, along with the most valuable life lesson that exists.

It’s right what they say, holding on to the wrong lovers often hurts more than letting them go. If and when letting go of someone you love, is the right thing, it should be the only thing you do. When love changes you into something you’re not, walk away. Walk away with dignity and fond memories.

Sometimes, we just have to accept the fact that the people we love are simply not right for us and sometimes, love just isn’t enough.