Are Parents Always Right?
By: Rajat Santhosh
Tags: Parenthood, Society, Childhood, Growing Up

Listen To Your Parents?

Photo by Natalya Zaritskaya on Unsplash

I grew up as an ordinary child — I never had many friends. I was never the popular kid, no one was exactly queuing up to be my friend, I was not handsome, I was skinny, and had no special talent.

But it wasn’t all bad. I had some close friends who were there for me no matter what. I never failed my exams. Life wasn’t bad.

When I was in my teens, my parents raised me with more freedom than the other kids. Most of my friends had strict curfews — They should be back home by 6 PM, no playing during exams, no movies with your friends, and so on.

My parents always urged me to go outside and play, even during exam days. They knew all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Yet, I never thought my parents were special. I thought they were being irresponsible for not being rigid like the rest of the parents.

They never whipped me when I scored low marks, they never disconnected the TV cable during exams, they never compared me with other kids. I thought all this was bullshit — because I never saw any of these with the other parents.

In my 20's

In my 20’s, I started to notice many things. I started seeing many people rebelling against their parents, defying them completely. I was surprised. I started to think whether children are supposed to be like that when we grow up or whether that’s the coolest thing to do.

Well, I wasn’t going to do any of those — because I was scared of how they would react.

When I was in a relationship, we used to talk about the future — kids, job, family, and so on. At first, I thought I would be the coolest dad ever. It was as if I was thinking these and my wife was inside the labour room.

But I thought about what kind of dad I would be. What if my kid fails in school? What if they get into the wrong gangs? What if they get into a bad relationship? What if they resent me?

Then I thought, what kind of dad my dad was.

He never pushed me to do anything, never told me to be anything, always trusted me, and was never scared for me. My mom was more strict than him, but I had nothing to complain about. So I started accumulating this respect for them. They trusted me and never limited my freedom, so the least I could do is to make them happy.

But not everyone would think like me. Some may take advantage of their freedom. I know such cases too. I’m not perfect, but I’m not terrible either.

What if my kids turn on me?

So, are my parents perfect?

I would always give it to them for raising me in the best possible manner. But does that mean I’m forever indebted to them in such a way I should listen to everything they say?

No

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always treat them with respect, and it’s my responsibility to cause them no harm.

But not at the expense of my happiness.

What do I mean by that?

For instance — If I was talented at football, and parents tell me to take up an office job as it is more secure compared to such high competition field where my odds to get in are very low, I would not listen to them, even if that makes them unhappy.

So you get the drift. There comes so many other decisions were there will be a lot of disparities in your opinions — like the girl you want to marry, your career, taking some risks, and so on. Some choices that affect our happiness.

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. — Albus Dumbledore

They would say I don’t know things, or I’m too young to understand, or why they know it’s right and should listen to them.

And sometimes, they are right. But it’s not like they’ll always right. They too have made mistakes. I’ve always thought my dad could have more than one stream of income, and my mom could gossip less. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I realised that in the end, parents are just as confused as we are.

What does that mean then?

This does not mean you should disregard your parents and leave them out completely. There are many things for which we need our parents throughout our life. Respect them for who they are, and make them understand the need to respect for who you are — if necessary.