Compensation
By: Troy Camplin
Tags: Short Fiction, Short Story, Fictional, Fiction, Narrative

FICTION

Stacey lay next to Josh, watching him sleep, wishing he would leave. Both were naked, lying on top of the sheets. Josh had fallen asleep a half hour before, minutes after they had finished having sex. She had gone to the bathroom to clean up and had returned to him already dozing off. The most she could get him to do was snuggle close and place his arm across her before he fell asleep. She was not tired, so she lay there, looking at the room, black the pulled shade and curtains. Nothing to look at. Not that she had to. She knew where everything was.

The house had belonged to her mother’s before she died seven years before of breast cancer. She had been only fifty. Stacey had grown up in the house and refused to change anything once she inherited it. She still slept in her old bedroom. Her mother’s room was unchanged. No one had slept in it since her mother died there. No one had even been in the room since then, except Stacey, who would often stand in the room for several minutes — sometimes an hour or more — and stare at the room in silence. Fortunately, that was not often. She was glad her mother had died at home, at least. No, the darkness made little difference to her.

Stacey looked at Josh. She could barely make him out lying next to her, not that she cared to really lok at him. He was not very attractive — nor unattractive — just sort of plain and unassuming. She would have had a hard time describing him to anyone had they asked.

She thought it was ridiculous that she could not describe them since they had been having sex for six months and had been friends for a year before. She had seen him up close so often, she should have been able to describe his pores. Now, she could not remember whether or not he had sideburns. She reached behind her to feel the side of his face. His cheek was smooth. She could feel him smile under her fingertips. Maybe it was her last boyfriend who had had sideburns. She wondered what Josh was thinking.

Josh thought he and Stacey were dating, but to her the relationship was little more than sex. She needed to just go ahead and have an affair with a married man so she would not have to pretend anymore. That way, she would know it would never be anything but sex. And maybe he would know that, too, for a change. There would also be no danger of him demanding so much of her time, since he could only be there long enough to have sex. So, all she had to do now was find a married man and start having an affair — after she got rid of Josh, of course. Most of the married men she knew were married to her friends, though, so finding a married man she felt comfortable having an affair with would not be easy. Maybe she should scrap that idea.

Josh was the longest she had ever been with anyone. Most of the men she slept with she did not even bother dating. She wondered how many she had already slept with to that point and, after a few minutes, starting at the age of thirteen, when she lost her virginity, she came up with two hundred thirty-nine — that she could definitely account for. She was twenty-seven. That only made for seventeen different men a year so that was not too bad, assuming you could ignore the several times she had had a boyfriend for four or five months, which did raise the number of men over time in between.

She was surprised she had not caught anything from anybody since she had refused to use a condom. She was also surprised she had not gotten pregnant, despite the fact that her gynecologist had told her her uterus was tilted and had an overly-long flap to the entrance — the first made attachment difficult; the latter prevented sperm from getting too far into her in the first place. Her mother had had the same problems, and she subsequently did not become pregnant until she was thirty, despite the fact that she had also been on the pill. Stacey wished she had been born earlier in her mother’s life. She wondered if her mother had been younger if they wouldn’t have gotten along better. She had died before Stacey really grew up. Stacey was only twenty when her mom died, and she had still been rebelling. They had always fought. Stacey also wished she had been born earlier because then she would have had more time to spend with her mom. Her grandmother had also died of breast cancer at fifty, so she had never known her grandmother, either, though the pictures of her showed she had had the same very large breasts Stacey and her mother had. Stacey feared fifty.

Stacey was really genetically unfit. She had her mother’s tilted uterus, a flap at the opening, and had also inherited her mother’s cancer genes, all of which made it unlikely she would ever bear children or, if she did, be around long enough to raise them or certainly see any potential grandchildren and be an influence on them, as her grandmother had not been able to have on her. One wonders, then, how these genes could have been passed on, since they were so antithetical to survival. The answer is that Stacey also had another set of genes that gave her an extremely high sex drive which, again, she had inherited from her mother and grandmother, both of whom had had several lovers until they had given birth, after which their sex drives had dropped off considerably. This combination of genes was necessary for there to be any kind of reproductive success. Without those creating the high sex drive, the ones creating the tilted uterus and the long flap would have been lost generations before, and Stacey would have never existed.

That was why Stacey had had two hundred thirty-nine lovers — that she could remember — and rarely stayed with a lover for long. She did not realize it, but there was something in her driving her from one man to the next if the one she was with could not get her pregnant right away. Her combination of genes required her to have a lot of sex with a man who had extremely aggressive sperm that could make it past all the problems some of those same genes made — and if any given man could not get her pregnant in a few months, her genes had programmed her to get bored with the man and move on. There may not be anything wrong with him, just as there had been nothing wrong with most of the men she had slept with — Josh, for example, was a normal, healthy male in every physiological way possible — but she could not have a normal male. Sexually, she needed an extraordinary male. Thus, her body sent signals to her conscious mind, making her bored with Josh. She did not realize why; she only knew she was bored. She felt the need to move on.

This is not to say that Stacey’s actions were entirely determined only by her genes. She was quite capable of overriding her programming, as we all are. However, that takes a degree of self-awareness Stacey did not have and was not interested in achieving. Stacey was lazy and overriding her program would have taken more effort than she was willing to muster. In the end, her genetic tendency to seek out a super-fertile man is why she decided Josh had to go, though she thought it was only because she was bored with him. Either way, she would break up with him tomorrow.

When Stacey awoke, she changed her mind. She was still bored with Josh, but if she did not have to, she did not want to spend a single day without having sex. Instead, she decided to find someone first, start having sex with them, and then break up with Josh. Josh awoke and, unaware he was on the way out, though he had been given a partial reprieve, gave Stacey a kiss. Just then, the phone rang.

Stacey answered the phone and happily greeted her friend Mandy. Mandy wanted to know if Stacey wanted to get breakfast at IHOP. Stacey smiled and said that sounded good. Josh got up and went to use the bathroom. Stacey asked if it was all right if Josh came along.

“Bring him,” Mandy said.

Stacey asked Josh if he wanted to go to IHOP, when he agreed, Stacey asked Mandy if it was just going to be them.

“No,” Kevin’s coming,” Mandy said.

“I thought you stopped seeing him,” Stacey said.

“I did.”

When Mandy didn’t explain further, Stacey said, “OK. When do you want us to be there?”

“Hour? Hour and a half?”

Josh returned from the bathroom and said, “You need to get ready if we’re going to go.”

Stacey smiled, shook her head, and mouthed away from the phone: “Why don’t you fuck me first?”

John smiled, nodded, and climbed back into bed.

“Give us an hour and a half,” Stacey said and hung up.

* * * * *

Within the week, Stacey was sleeping with Kevin. Later that afternoon, Mandy had explained to Stacey later that even though he had cheated on her, she and Kevin were still friends. Stacey asked for his number. Mandy tried to warn her, but Stacey blew it off. Stacey knew about Mandy’s libido and, comparing it to her own, Stacey thought there was little chance Kevin, or any man, would cheat on her. After all, he was going to get all the sex he wanted from her. The only problem with her theory is that it ignored Kevin’s biology. We can’t really blame Stacey for her ignorance. Most people are not consciously aware that men are generally programed to want to have sex with more than one woman in order to increase the chance of spreading their genes. This strong compulsion makes it difficult for men not to cheat, so most in fact do. This is not an excuse for bad behavior, but only an explanation, one of several reasons. Futher, Kevin had inherited a sexual defect that was equivalent to Stacey’s — he had a very weak prostate which, being an inherited condition, was then necessarily genetically tied to his having a high sex drive to compensate. However, when combined with Stacey’s anatomy, it would make getting her pregnant almost completely impossible, despite both their doubled libidos and the almost continual sex.

When the two began having sex, Kevin quickly realized they did not have enough time to have sex as often as they both wanted — or, in fact, did — four or five times a day — while living apart. Two weeks after they started seeing each other, they were both sitting in her living room, wearing only their underwear, having just had sex for the fourth time that day. Stacey turned on the TV, turning it to the Tonight Show. She wanted to watch Jay Leno before having sex one more time and going to sleep. She loved watching “Headlines.” The news was still on, so Kevin decided to take the opportunity to ask her to live with him.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to move. This was my mom’s house,” Stacey said. “Besides, I’m still sort of seeing Josh.” She had somehow forgotten to break off her relationship with Josh.

“You’re still seeing him?”

“He’s still my friend. He was my friend before we started fucking.”

“I don’t care about that. You can still remain friends. But you have to stop fucking him. Don’t we fuck enough?”

“Oh, definitely, honey. Definitely. Look, I’ll talk to him tomorrow, tell him I’m seeing you…”

“Good. Then you can move in with me…”

“I’m still not moving in with you. I told you, I’m not leaving my mom’s house.”

“Honey, you can’t stay here forever.”

“I have a good job here in town. The house is paid off. Why should I leave?”

“Stacey…”

“I said I’m not leaving.” She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. Her breasts lay over her arms, almost covering them.

“Well, this is getting ridiculous, what we’re doing. We spend almost every moment together we’re not at work, yet technically we live apart and have to pay twice the pills and rent.”

“I own this house. My mom paid it off.”

“Well, still…”

“I suppose you’ll want to move in here now that you know that…”

“Know what? I asked you to move in with me. I still want you to.”

“Know that I don’t have a house payment.”

“I’m not interested in that.”

“I’m not leaving my mother’s house.”

“So, you’re not moving in with me, but I can’t move in with you because, if I do, it will be so I don’t have to pay rent? You think I’m going to try to take advantage of you? This is bullshit. If you don’t want to live with me, just say so — don’t give me these bullshit excuses.”

“You seem to be under the impression we’re dating or something.”

“Aren’t we?”

“No. What gave you that idea?”

“Oh, I don’t know…the fucking, the cuddling, the holding hands, the doing everything together, the hugging, the kissing…”

“Just because we’re fucking doesn’t mean we’re dating.”

“Oh. So we’re just fucking. I was under the impression we were dating.” Kevin got up and went into the bedroom.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I’m tired. I have to get up in the morning to go to work.”

“I thought you were going to spend the night.”

“I changed my mind.” Kevin returned, wearing his pants, putting on his shirt.

“I thought we were going to fuck again tonight.”

“Well…I’m tired. I have to get up in the morning. I have a meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Is this because I won’t live with you?”

“No. It’s because I love you. Like a damn fool. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, Kevin was out the door, heading for his car.

Within a week of this conversation, Kevin was sleeping with someone else and definitely not in love with either woman. Kevin would have probably cheated on Stacey eventually, but if all their relationship consisted of was sex, he saw no reason to remain faithful. It was obvious she was uninterested in having a real relationship, which a part of him really wanted, and that he was sure he could hold on to if he could find the right woman, one with whom he felt he wanted to work with at making a relationship work. But he knew it would require work, a requirement undermined, ironically, by Stacey through her refusal to call their relationship anything but sex. Nevertheless, when she found out. A week later that he was cheating on her, she broke up with him — or, since they were not “dating,” she told them they would no longer be having sex. He thought it was awfully jealous behavior from someone who was only having sex with him.

Since Stacey was not seeing anyone other than Kevin, this left her in what she considered an untenable situation. She knew in only a few days she would be mad to fuck someone, and she did not want to pick up someone she did not know just to have sex. It was too dangerous. She had done it many times before, but she didn’t like it. However, she knew she would resort to that if she did not get some sex soon.

She did not have to resort to that. Josh came over two days later to visit, and Stacey asked him if he was horny.

“What happened to Kevin?”

“He cheated on me.”

“Weren’t you cheating on me with him, and on him with me, when you first got together with him?”

“Yeah, but that was different. And besides, he started cheating onme a week after I told you we had to stop fucking. How was their fair?”

Josh chose not to answer that question.

“So, anyway… You want to fuck or not?” Stacey asked.

“Are we talking about dating again?”

Stacey sighed. “No. I mean, we weren’t really dating last time. At least, I didn’t see it that way.”

“So, you just want to fuck?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Exclusively.”

“No.”

“But whenever I want…?”

“Call first.”

“I can do that.”

“So, you want to fuck me now or what? I’m about to go crazy for some dick.”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

Stacey stood and said, “Just get your ass in here.”

Josh shrugged and followed her into her bedroom.

* * * * *

True to her word, Josh quickly became only one of the men she was sleeping with. It bothered her a bit — though not enough to prevent her from pursuing it — because she soon found herself sleeping with a coworker. It did not bother her that he was a coworker, since she had slept with several of her coworkers already. And it did not bother her that she was seeing both him and Josh, since she had told Josh she was not going to be sleeping with him exclusively and because, since the man was cheating on his wife, why should she be true to him, either? But it did bother her that the man was married. More, he had three children. Their pictures were prominent on his desk. Despite this — or, unconsciously, because of it — Stacey found herself attracted to him. She thought it was his dark complexion, handsome face, and tousled, black hair. Unconsciously, it was the evidence of his fertility. When she flirted with him and he responded, she began being overtly suggestive toward him, until he asked her if she wanted to get together sometime after work.

“What do you mean?” Stacey asked, leaning over his desk, letting her blouse fall off her breasts.

“You should relay button those top buttons” Chris said.

“Why? Don’t think I look professional?”

“Don’t think I want anyone else to see them?”

“Is that why you want to get together? So you can be the only one to see them?” She leaned down more so he could see her nipples — she rarely wore a bra — and whispered, “Or do you want to see them even better?”

“Maybe.”

“You could see even more if you wanted,” she whispered.

“Tonight?”

“We’ll go over my place.”

Chris began having to work late. Big news project, etc., etc. Stacey, of course, did not get near the amount of. Sex from him she was used to or wanted, but it did amount to three o four times a week. Josh was happy to take up the slack. The sex was one thing, but another was the secret pleasure he got knowing she was cheating on her new boyfriend with him, even if the new boyfriend was married. Part of him hopes she would get caught — a sort of retaliation for her cheating on him with Kevin before they broke up. But something unusual was taking place in Stacey because, after a whore while, the sex she was having with Chris began to seem like enough. Not that she neglected Josh. But she was becoming sexually satisfied with the knowledge that he had three children. Soon, her body, too, was satisfied. Within three months, she was pregnant. She told Christ when she knew she was two months along.

“I want to help you with it,” Chris said, pacing in her living room, trying to avoid tripping over scattered boxes, papers. She had already had this conversation with Josh, though she was able to convince him it wasn’t his, because of Chris.

“I don’t want your help. You take care of your own family.”

“This baby will be part of my family.”

“I don’t want any help. I don’t need you help. My mom raised me alone, and I turned out fine. If she could do it, so can I.” She did not want to tell him she was unsure if he was really the father. Since Chris was cheating on his wife, she did not feel guilty cheating on him with Josh — and several of her other friends — but still, she never told him. She wanted to keep having sex with Chris, though she could not understand why. Plus, the other men she had sex with were only friends, so it was never serious. Besides, Chris could not be there for her all the time.

“Stacey…” Chris leaned in close.

“No. Am I going to have to break it off with you so you won’t help me?”

Chris panicked. “No! No! Please, don’t do that! I…I want to see my baby…”

“You want her to know you’re the father?”

“Well…” Chris had not thought of this. He had to think of the ramifications. “No. I gues snot. Not until he’s older.”

“I agree. Which means you can’t help. You can be Santa Claus, but nothing else.”

“And when he stops believing in Santa Claus?”

“Then perhaps we’ll tell her.”

She and Chris continued their affair well into the pregnancy, until it became too uncomfortable. During this time, Chris had her to himself, since her friends were afraid to fuck her while she was pregnant — no matter how silly she said they were. Especially Josh.

“It’s not like you’re going to get me pregnant,” she explained. “What could be safter than having sex with me now?”

“It’s strange,” Josh said and refused to clarify himself. In two weeks, he found himself someone else to sleep with — an actual girlfriend.

A month after she and Chris stopped having sex, Stacey was at the hospital, alone, her heels in stirrups, trying to remember how to breathe properly between the waves of pain. She could feel her hips separate, the pain shot through worse than before, and the baby’s head pushed out. She still did not know the baby’s sex. She said she wanted to wait, to be surprised. Right now, she did not care one way or the other, so long as the pain went away. If Chris were here, she would have smashed his face into her knee. Birth control pills. From now on. And condoms. Both. And the day-after pill. Her mind jumped from topic to pain and back for another half hour. Then, it was over. The doctor held up the baby. A nurse cut the umbilical cord. Stacey looked up. It was red, bloody, wrinkled, disgusting. A smack. A baby’s scream. The nurse beside her said, Congratulations, Miss Murphy. It’s a girl.”

Within minutes, they had her baby cleaned and in her arms. A little girl. She named her Raven. She had a head full of black curls and skin just a shade darker than her own.

— 30 —