8 Examples of Crap Parenting Advice That Proves You’re Not Screwing Up Your Kids Any Worse Than Previous Generations
By: Sarah Cottrell
Tags: Parents, Parenting Advice, Motherhood, Parenthood, Parenting

Photo by Boston Public Library on Unsplash

My mother-in-law, God love her, has this one habit that drives me crazy; she loves to tell me how much better parenting was when her kids were little and then suggests that perhaps I ought to fall in line and do as she did. I know she means well, but I’ve met her adult children — I’m married to one of them — and as fabulous as they all are, they are most definitely not the Saints one might assume they ought to be based on her vision of ideal parenting.

But it got me thinking, is my generation of mothers really and truly screwing up that badly? Indeed each generation had its share of crap techniques that threaten to give a whole generation of kids some severe issues. Right? Well, moms and dads of little kids, guess what? Our parents were not perfect at raising kids despite what they might tell you. Want proof? Here are eight examples of some seriously questionable parenting advice that was once actually popular among experts.

Bathe Your Baby in Lard

Who doesn’t love the smell of a freshly bathed baby? Our great-great-great grandmothers from the 1910s sure did. However, the fresh scent of lard beat out that sweet smell of lavender that is popular today. In a book commonly given to new mothers in the 1910s, Willian S. Sadler and Lena K. Sadler advised mothers to bathe their babies in lard. I’m all for sweet-smelling oils to keep that baby skin oh-so-soft, but lard? Ok, Grandma.

No One Loves A Leftie

In the 1930s, some prominent University of Iowa researchers, including psychiatrist S. T. Orton, psychologist L. E. Travis, theorized that some kids are left-handed because they had defiant personalities. As a result of their wildly inaccurate theories, kids across the country experienced corporal punishment while being forced into switching from left to right and, in many cases, ended up with severe stuttering problems. This hideously cruel theory stayed in play well into the 1960s before left-handed bias finally began to fade.

Never, Ever, Touch Your Child

In the 1920s, John Watson, a Behaviorist, advised mothers not to spoil their children by hugging, kissing, or snuggling. Kids, he seemed to think, needed to build good character and toughen up, and the only way to do that was not to have a mom screwing everything up by showering her child with affection. In his book, Psychological Care of the Infant and Child, he asserted that kids who get affection are feckless wimps.

“Never hug and kiss them or let them sit on your lap. Shake hands with them in the morning. Give them a pat on the head if they have made an extraordinary good job of a difficult task,” he wrote.

Watson was the same guy who infamously conducted the “Littel Albert” experiment. He purposely conditioned a nine-month-old boy to become terrified of a white rat by showing the child the rat while simultaneously making scary sounds.

Put Your Baby In A Cage

In the 1930s, doctors advised that all babies should have access to sunlight and fresh air. That’s pretty great advice. Very healthy. But for city dwellers, this often meant hanging a cage out of a window — no matter how tall the building was. They would then place their baby in the cage that appeared to dangle precariously from the side of a tall building.

The idea was born in 1884 by Dr. Luther Emmett in his book, The Care and Feeding of Children, in which he advised mothers to air out their kids. You know, like funky running shoes.

Thumbsucking Is Really, Really Bad

Mothers in the 1940s painted a toxic mix of chemicals on their children’s thumbs to prevent or discourage their kids from sucking their thumbs. What was in this magical polish? Well, Bertha, I’m glad you asked. It turns out it was a pleasant mix of acetone, nail polish, isopropyl alcohol, and capsicum. If you don’t know what that last ingredient is, it makes a hot pepper explode with heat. Moms in the 40s were not messing around.

Just Tell Your Kids Not to Touch That Fancy Vase, Ethel

In the 1950s, mothers were advised by parenting experts, which often included the family doctor, to never baby-proof their homes. Baby proofing was considered extremely lazy and did not allow the child to learn how to behave in a house. Too much coddling, you see. Instead, mothers were supposed to say, “No.” And then explain that children should never touch their mother’s things.

Kids Are Just Short Adults

In the 1960s, mothers listened to Dr. Walter Sackett’s bold advice, who famously thought that if parents were not strict enough, they would end up with socialist babies. He told parents that kids are pretty much short adults and that infants as young as 10-days-old ought to be eating eggs and bacon with the rest of the family. But why stop there? He also thought that babies should drink black coffee to toughen them up.

In the 1960s, doctors also thought that half a pack of cigarettes a day was healthy. So, you know. There’s that.

Girls Must Go To Charm School

Unless you want to raise a social outcast, experts advised mothers in the 60s and 70s to send their daughters to the Sears Discovery Charm School, where teachers groomed girls to be the perfect ladies. Think balancing books on heads while perfecting their manners.

If that isn’t cringy enough, in the 70s, expecting mothers were encouraged to drink beer to keep their iron up.

So, the next time an older mother tries to tell you that you don’t know jack about parenting, gently remind them of some of the fabulous parenting techniques from “back in the day” that wouldn’t fly anymore.