Dating apps and idea-stealing editors: how our society rewards psychopathy.
By: Adam Borowski
Tags: Society, Psychopath, Love, Dating, Apps

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash

Psychopathy. Also known as antisocial personality disorder. While I don’t think all psychopathic traits are bad (confidence, charm and occasional compartmentalization certainly help), being a 100% psychopath is downright dangerous to everyone — including the psychopath. Psychopaths have no conscience but they can tell what others are feeling and mimic whatever reaction they see as beneficial at a given moment. That’s why it’s so hard for people to wrap their heads around psychopathy. It seems so surreal!

‘’Everyone thinks like me. I couldn’t imagine doing it, after all! I have a conscience. So no, psychopaths don’t exist.’’

Let’s use a simple analogy. When you drive, do you always trust other drivers on the road? Of course not. You exercise a degree of caution. If you just trusted everyone on the road, I don’t have to tell you what would happen at some point in your driving adventures. So why would you trust everyone you meet online and offline? Just to be positive all the time? Does that make sense to you?

Psychopaths are charming and know how to lie on a whim — the smarter they are, the more tangled the web they weave. No wonder so many women fall for a charming gentleman who tells them exactly what they want to hear — psychopaths, as long as they are smart, are expert psychologists. They will be whoever you want them to be. The minute you’re no longer useful to them, the mask of sanity is discarded and they either disappear or you get to see who, or what, is behind the mask — a monster who’s like a black hole, sucking everything and everyone into it. As one psychopath put it: ‘’Oh, it’s so easy to spot someone with an aura of girlish naivety.’’

Dating apps are great but they also encourage psychopathic behavior. You look at other people, individuals with lives and dreams, like products on the shelf. You can talk to them, secretly or not-so-secretly grade them, and discard them whenever you choose to. Sure, it’s fantastic when you come across a psycho and you want to make sure they never find you again but — as with virtually everything in life — it’s your intention behind using the app that matters. Not to mention many dating apps with rigorous selection criteria. . .and we just love exclusivity, don’t we?

When an editor steals your idea and then ignores you — surely, that’s something psychopaths would be proud of. There are times when you need to move on and consider whatever happened to you — a lesson learned. Job interview games, workplace games, relationship games — you need to be aware of what these games are but you can’t be paranoid because all sorts of psychopaths, malignant narcissists, borderlines and their ‘’friends’’ — are like energetic vampires who want your life energy. And your money, of course. Don’t fight them. It’s counterproductive. Smile and pretend it’s all just awesome. When psychopaths think you’ve no idea what’s going on, they will let their guard down eventually. Psychopaths often have that smirk on their face; it’s called duper’s delight. Simply put, they are delighted they’ve pulled a successful con. A masterful mind game. That doesn’t mean you should be walking up to people, saying: ‘’Hey, I don’t like you, are you a psychopath?’’ It’s disrespectful and misguided. Let’s leave the diagnosing to mental health professionals. Besides, sometimes an a** is just an **. If you lose your cool, a psychopath WILL use it against you. Psychopaths have no shame and will stoop to lows you can’t imagine to get what they want.

We obviously live in a technologically advanced society. That’s amazing and we should embrace it. Cherish it. The fact you’re reading my article is definitely a positive aspect of modern life. But it’s also so, so easy to just discard a person — like on a dating app. On one level — it’s useful. A stalker? Block. An idiot? Block. A pickup artist with terrible lines? Block. Sadly, that’s how psychopaths and other pathological personalities can easily make their victims invisible after getting what they want. Just think about the ‘’unsend message,’’ option on social media platforms. It’s a perfect manipulation tool when you want to play mind games with someone. When you want to gaslight someone, little by little. And it’s the tip of the iceberg.

Our society has a lot to offer — but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Educating yourself is the ultimate defense against the psychopath. . . and friends.

So be positive. Not naive.