A life without a mission: looking back at 2020.
By: Josue Ferreira
Tags: Mission, Covid 19, Purpose, 2020

Some of you will probably think this retrospective piece is a couple weeks too early… others may not say anything at all. Let me ask you this question, when is it too late to say thank you or to acknowledge someone’s contributions to the local and national communities? I thought this would be the best time to look back at 2020.

I was a key worker for 23 months. Honestly? I did not realise how important my role was until March 2020, when I heard the term key worker for the first time. The worst part was realising, too late, what it meant to live a life without a mission. Key workers serve a function, they live and breathe for a mission, a purpose. Some of these missions are “Protecting people and fighting crime together”, “to provide care and services that we and our families would want to use.”, “save lives and protect property.”, “Our Vision is to be at the forefront of British Education Internationally”. A mission of an individual is as important as the mission of a community. Communities are driven by individuals, and individuals are driven by purposes.

My purpose ended on May 29th, 2020. I went from being a key worker to be just another a worker, out there, overnight. When I woke up on Saturday the 30th I did not notice any difference, I was still me. The initial shock came a couple of months after I changed jobs. Had it not been for COVID-19, I would not have, maybe ever, realised how important my job was. When the initial lockdown was introduced, Bedford looked like a ghost town, it looked clean, peaceful and quiet. I really enjoyed it. For those of you who have to take public transport to work will, probably, be of the same opinion. Who wants to be on a bus full of people? Red lights and traffic noise? Please! For Two months I was, often, the only person waiting at the bus stop.

One morning, I got on the bus and the driver looked at me with that “what the fuck are you doing on my bus at 07am?” He probably felt frustrated and annoyed. The majority of the population was at home, enjoying the forced time off, and they had to go to work to drive other people to work. I was one of those people who had to go to work. Did I feel frustrated too? Of course, I did. Why would I have to take the bus, why expose myself to a new virus? Why couldn’t I just stay home like the other people? Those thoughts crossed my mind. One morning, I was sitting at the computer, and it hit me. I started seeing my job with new eyes. I started to appreciate what I was doing a lot more. I started enjoying getting on the bus at 07am.

It was, during the initial period, inspiring to see the key workers going to work, serving the communities and their country. We did not stop trying to protect the people, we did not stop caring for other people, we did not stop trying to make other people’s lives better. Yet, some people thought it was right to attack the key workers. Nurses and doctors started hiding their IDs with fear, because some people did not understand how important the NHS and its staff are to the local communities. People started attacking police officers whenever they tried to do their jobs, blaming them and branding them as part of the problem. “Stay home to help us save lives” the slogan was clear, but some people thought it was just another conspiracy theory, “how bad can it really be?” or “This is just another lie our government is telling us.” Some people switched sides. To be on the safe side, is it so bad to try to stay safe and protect others? The vaccine is out, and the conspiracy theories continue.

Two months into my new job, and I am finally doing what I was hired to do, when I realised that I am not just doing my job, no. I am making sure that the numbers stay low, making sure that the reports are delivered on time. I am not complaining. This is/was my chance to get a peek at what the private sector is all about. First thing I notice is that I do not have a mission per se. I am not saving lives, I am not protecting anyone, I am not helping anyone. I am just doing my work; I am protecting the company I work for and it’s employees. A lot of you can probably relate to this. I miss having a mission, I miss knowing that my work protects people or at least helps prevent future crimes by stopping offenders from destroying any more lives.

Six months into my new job and I think it is time to find a mission, a new mission, a purpose. I revisit old ideas for projects. I go to back to writing my novel, which I hope will help some people. I apply for a master’s degree. I reflect on how much my life has changed since June 1st. I do all these things, but there is something missing. I realise that I cannot make a difference on my own: at least not initially. I ask for help. I think more and more about my old job, on how we worked together for the greater good. I miss working with you, I miss knowing that, for better or for worse, we are helping the children in the UK stay safe. An ongoing effort, a never-ending story. It is not an easy job, it is not the healthiest thing you can show to your brain, but it makes a difference. I miss that, I miss making or at least trying to make a difference.

This is the third retrospective piece, and I have used the words “for better or for worse” in all of them. Why? I think that is what we have been trying to do since March. We have been trying to live or lives the best way we can; do our jobs the best way we can; we are trying to find purpose in what we do in any way possible. To the all the Police Officers, I say thank you. You are trying to do the best you can to protect people’s lives. It is just a shame that not everyone can appreciate what you do. To all the NHS, I say thank you. To all the people whose missions help better people’s lives in any way, I say thank you.

Maybe one day I will go back to what I was doing, but for now I think I need to find my own mission. For 2021, I will try to work on something that could potentially help improve people’s lives. What I have learnt this year, quite too late (in my life too), was that living a life without a purpose is damaging. Damaging not just to one’s life, but to one’s self. Because the self without a reason to exist is a self that does not live. I know that there are a lot of people out there whose lives do not know why they wake up in the morning… I have those days too. I hope that whoever reads this piece, for those who do not have a purpose, I hope that you find a purpose for 2021. The year 2020 was hard, challenging at so many level, for a lot of people, for you, I hope things get better.