What Do You Say to Cancer? How ‘Bout Dosing up with Love?
By: Marilyn Flower
Tags: Health, Women, Cancer, Wisdom, Family

Tomorrow I go for a breast biopsy. It takes a few working days to get the results. So I’m guessing it’ll come right before Christmas.

I’ll be glad to know either way. So while the title is purposely catchy and hopefully not too clickbaity, it’s also accurate.

Let me back up and share the story.

Two weeks ago, I had a mammogram. A day or two later, they told me to come back and re-take the left breast. It seems I have some calcium deposits, which could be harmless.

Ironically if they’re big, they’re harmless.

It’s those tiny fragments that could be problematic. Not automatically problematic, but they could be. That’s why I need to have a biopsy.

The Nurse Practitioner explained that there is a 75% chance it’s benign. Which is reassuring. I only have to worry about the 25% side of things.

Someone, please tell my brain to only worry at the 25% level. My brain does not really know how to do that. She’s an all or nothin’ kinda gal.

Taking Care of Myself

In the meantime, I’m surrounding myself with positive energy, people, music, and messages.

For example, this morning we recorded the 4th episode of our podcast, STOMP!. Episode #2 with me interviewing Debbie Walker just came out. Episode #3 with Debbie interviewing me comes out in January.

This is episode #4. It’s me interviewing fellow Middle-Pause writer Marla Bishop and my friend, Marsha Harrison (Hands Deliver.org).

Marsha and Marla met for the first time on our podcast and became instant friends. They shared their common experiences as active and outspoken black women — one in the U.S., one in the U.K. — with biracial children while impacting the world using their creative talents.

They did not need any prompting from me to describe how events like the murder of George Floyd impact their family — specifically how they talk to their kids, and how safe those kids feel in the world. Stay tuned; it will be out early next year.

Pouring my heart into projects like this is exactly what I need to buoy myself up right now. Thank you, Debbie, Margie Pearl, Marla, and Masha, for being part of my healing sanity!

Of course, I’m praying.

Prayer is my favorite spiritual practice. It’s also therapeutic. The process itself lifts my spirits as well as calls on the Universe to respond. I pray affirmatively, thanking the Universe for my healthy body and breasts, glowing with light.

What I know is that my body, as well as my entire being, is filled with light. At the cellular level, photons of light flash and glow full of Divine Intelligence and God’s Light. If cancer is present, my light’s there to shine on it.

The last time I was treated for cancer, I used visualization to picture big strong white blood cells gobbling up weak, tiny cancer cells. Like icons in a Pac-Man game. (remember those?) That was the beginning of my spiritual journey.

I'm not waiting for the lab report, but already picturing my body full of light and love. Any misplaced cells find a better place to go.

For example, my bones could sure use some more calcium!

I’m on the osteoporotic side — my bones are losing density. So they welcome any stray calcium particles to hang out with them and shore things up. See! Nothing is wasted! All can be in Divine Order.

Tomorrow I get to lie on a hydraulic table with my breast poking down through an opening. They’ll raise me up and work underneath, using mammography to locate the spot. (The oil change and lube is extra!)

After an incision is made, a needle will aspirate some tissue. I’ll have some lidocaine, so it shouldn’t hurt. Lying still is the bigger deal.

I plan to chat with the practitioners, asking if they know any good jokes to share here. And I will go inward, sending love energy to my breast and all through my body.

My “reward” for holding still and being a good sport is a Zoom call with my sister, her kids, and granddaughter. I just ordered them a goody basket from the Turquoise Cafe Bakery near them. I’m eager to see how they like the Maple Walnut Pear Sourdough bread, bar cookies, and scones.

Since I can’t be there, this is one way to stay connected. The photos my sister sends of 15-month-old Moira are precious. As G-Pop — my brother-in-law — stretches out on the kitchen floor under the sink to change faucets, she helps by tickling his tummy where his shirt rides up. Wonder who put her up to that, right?

All that to say, time does not stop for biopsies, cancer, or even death.

These things don’t occur in a vacuum. And at least for me, surrounding myself with all the ways love shows up in my life keeps me strong and keepin’ on. Thanks for your support!