Video Games and Childhood
By: Joseph Mills
Tags: Gaming, Relationships, Parenting, Fatherhood, Videogames

As parents we are faced with endless decisions on how to help their children build a healthy lifestyle and personality. One particular issue that has always been difficult for me is video games and more recently technology in general. Many parents share this same dilemma when approaching their children’s exposure to the world today. Growing up in the early 2000’s I remember when the Playstation and Xbox first came out. It was huge. Quite frankly it changed everything. Before that I had been playing just Zelda on a gameboy with no backlight — struggling to defeat Ganon in the backseat of my parents Chevy Blazer barreling down the freeway after dark. I would have to pause the game between streetlamps. For Christmas one year I got an attachment that shined a light onto the gameboy. These kids don’t know the struggle.

Roman Coin Issued by Senate

PC games were also a personal favorite of mine. As a father I look back on my time playing video games and realize how much of a positive impact they actually made on me. Video games can expose you to a massive vocabulary, help you learn how things are made and crafted, expose you to history in a real time setting immersing you in the story. Just recently in fact a friend of mine from work brought a coin in and was showing it around. A dispute arose. He claimed it was a Roman coin but it was fairly tarnished. I asked to see it and upon inspection I explained that it is in fact a Roman coin. The Roman Senate was responsible for coining the currency in Rome, as such they stamped all of their coins S.P.Q.R. — Senātus Populusque Rōmānus — The Roman Senate and People. You could clearly make out the S and the R and see the remnants of a P and Q on the coin.

I didn’t know this because I had read it in a book even though I had read tons of books on Rome. I didn’t know this because I had studied Roman currency. I didn’t know this because I had been to a coin store. I had never actually touched a Roman coin let alone seen one in real life. However, I had been exposed to them in video games and I had played video games where I was actually in control of the Roman Empire and from that I learned quite a bit. As an adult I realized something about the video game industry that is not highlighted enough by it’s opponents: a ton of work and research goes into making a video game. More so the researchers and designers of these games take their role very seriously and particularly on games that represent historical time periods they do an exorbitant amount of work to ensure that they represent that time with the most clarity and respect.

There is however, a dark side to my experience with video games in my childhood. I remember one day particularly receiving a phone call while I was playing Civilization III — I believe I was in the process of implementing my plan to nuke my enemies it was very intense. But this was back when phones were attached to walls because we were basically cavemen. As such I had to break away from my PC and leave my room, go through the living room and into the kitchen to answer the phone. It still baffles me how we even functioned with such primitive technology. On the other end was my grandfather. He asked me if my dad was home and I said no. He asked me how I was doing and what I was doing. I told him I was doing well and that I was in the middle of nuking my enemies. He laughed and asked that I have my dad call him back when he gets home and that it was important. We said goodbyes and love you’s. I went back to my room and nuked my enemies. Unaware that I had just spoken to my grandfather for the last time.

Some time later I would learn that my grandfather had died — at Thanksgiving. That conversation stuck out in my head like a sore thumb and with it every other time my grandfather tried to engage me while I was playing video games. To this day those memories stick out in my head and if I ever feel the need to cry they’re a great source to pull from. What I learned from that was that video games are fun and they can feel extremely important while you are playing them. However, video games are still here. I can play them whenever I want. But I’ll never sit down and talk with my grandfather again. Today I shared that story with my oldest son. He’s a video game fanatic just like I was. He also seems to struggle with understanding when it is important to put the controller down and spend time with those you love.

Gaming events and competitions and conventions are becoming more and more common and popular

Today it’s even harder. There’s smartphones. Consoles have full multiplayer capacity on the internet so you don’t have to back your console into a bag and take it to your friends house. Gaming is a whole culture. Video games are everywhere. One particular phenomenon that baffles me is that when kids aren’t playing video games they are watching other people play video games on youtube or Twitch. When I was a kid you had to buy the strategy guide! Recently I’ve been talking to my son about his video game and internet usage. As a parent I know that it is something I should place boundaries on but as someone who has played video games as a child I also understand fully that he actually is spending real quality time with his friends — something that I can’t always provide him being a single father of 3.

What I struggle with most and I think most parents would agree is the intrusiveness that video games can have on the quality time he has to spend with the loved ones in his life. Today I shared that story with him because his mother came over and we celebrated her birthday this morning. After we finished with presents and cake he almost immediately retreated into his room until she left. For me it hurts. I know that this is important time for him to spend with his mother and want him to spend all of it with her. I also know that if I force him to stay down there he will just be upset and bitter and angry the whole time.

For me early on in my parenthood my ex-wife and I made the decision not to introduce video games into our sons life and to keep them out of the house or at the very least underwraps. We decided to stick mostly to Nintendo Handhelds. However, as a parent you learn that you don’t actually get to make decisions like that so easily. Soon his cousins had video games. They wanted to play with him. His uncle had video games and wanted to play with him. Everyone it seems played video games and wanted to play. It wasn’t long before his Uncle actually had bought a new Playstation 4 and mailed our son his old one. For me I couldn’t refuse this. It was something that I thought was actually awesome for his Uncle to do and showed that he wanted to get to know our son. He lives on the West Coast and we live on the East Coast. So it’s not like they can go to the park. With that — my sons video game adventure really took shape. Shortly after this even Nintendo betray us and made the Switch.

The fun part about this — I have realized as a father — is that there is no answer. As usual I told him my experience and shared with him what I was able to learn about life from that experience and once again I explained to him as I explain to everyone. “You are are free person, an individual with your own choices to make. I’m not going to force you to make the right decisions because I can’t. It’s up to you.”