Making A Murderer: An Interview with the Flip-Flop Strangler
By: David Farr
Tags: True Crime, Humor, Funny, Fiction, Short Story

Photo by Dhruv Deshmukh on Unsplash

Yesterday morning, the crew and I arrived at Twin Towers correctional facility for our interview with Boris Schevko, better known as the Flip-Flop Strangler — the serial killer that targeted men that wear sandals.

Behind a thin, glass window, we waited ten minutes until Boris finally sat down with us. Right away, he was unlike any murderer I’d ever interviewed. No cold emptiness in his eyes. With a surprisingly warm smile, he greeted us in his thick, Russian accent.

“Nice to see you, Miss. Mendel. They tell me you make documentary about me.”

The Mind of a Monster. A working title. But I knew better than to mention that. Instead, I began with the obvious first question.

“Why did you do it, Boris?”

He leaned back, crossed his arms, and let out a sigh.

“One evening,” he said. “I was at restaurant with Tatyana. We have date night — nice, expensive place. We dress up in fancy clothes, my wife put on best coat. We enjoy food, music, everything is good. But then we look around. We notice people wearing shorts. I look to floor, I see feet. My wife says they call it the flip flop. I don’t like this. How I can eat filet mignon when I see toes wiggling?”

Sweat dripped from his forehead as he grew agitated just talking about it.

“What is it about men’s feet, in particular, that bothers you so much?”

“This is obvious, no? The foot of a man is disgusting. It is big and hairy and must be kept in sock.”

A perfect segue into bringing up his calling card.

“Is that why you left your victims wearing thick wool socks? So that you wouldn’t have to look at their feet anymore?

“Yes. Not just for me. It’s public service.”

“I see. Well, what about the beach? Most people like wearing sandals by the water. Are you against that too?”

His brows furrowed. Clearly, it was a subject he’d spent a great deal of time pondering.

“Like you say, Miss Mendel, many people do this. They don’t like sand inside shoe. And I’m sympathetic guy. By water is okay, even on boardwalk. But if you are more than hundred yards from beach, this is too much.”

“Look, Boris. I think there a lot of people out there who actually agree with you on this topic. But don’t you think murdering those men was a tad extreme? Perhaps you could’ve gone with a passionate blog post instead?”

He shook his head, frustrated.

“Niet. You don’t understand. These people care nothing for blog post. They flip and flop around city like living room. Tell me, how you can reason with someone like this?”

Playing devil’s advocate, I said, “I think they just want to be comfortable.”

“Yes,” he said, nodding. “This is what they tell me when I show up at doorstep. No. Please don’t kill me, Boris. I just like to be comfortable! Well, this is what I say to them: Maybe for me, I like peanut butter on face. Maybe I use toilet seat as necklace, travel with small crocodile on leash. If all of this makes me comfortable, this is how I should go to dinner party?”

“No, I guess not. I mean, you do make a pretty good point.”

“Yes, I make good points. And now, these people, they think twice before putting on flip flop. Because they know that when Boris Schevko come for visit, it will be very uncomfortable.”