Behind Closed Doors: how COVID-19 has affected domestic violence
Tags: Domestic Abuse, My Sisters House, Covid 19 Crisis, Domestic Violence, Womens Groups

My Sisters’ House in Bognor Regis

Whether it was from the virus, panic shoppers or protests, staying at home this year was routinely presented as the only way to keep your loved ones safe.

‘#Stayathome’ dominated Twitter feeds and Instagram stories all over the country, government posters urged us to ‘save lives’ and ‘protect the NHS’, we got used to the twitching of neighbourly curtains when we left the house, and we learned to make the most of what little space we had.

Our living rooms were the stands from which we watched 2020 play out. They were chaotic and messy and cloistered and uncomfortable and hard to exist in. They were the beginnings and ends of our beings. A semi-safe space in a universe of uncertainty.

But not for everyone.

What if home wasn’t so safe? And what if a loved one was the thing making it dangerous?

Lucy-Jane Budge, a staff member at My Sisters’ House in Bognor Regis, has been on the frontline in the fight against a totally different pandemic: domestic violence. And things haven’t been easy.

“December can be a quieter month because people are preparing for Christmas,” she said “and then January will be busier. But this year there’s been no lull in referrals whatsoever. It’s been extremely busy.”

My Sisters’ House, the women’s centre at which she works, usually offers drop in clinics, one to one sessions, peer groups and workshops for women recovering from domestic abuse, but staff have had to move their services online since the start of the pandemic.

The centre still runs a peer support group, as well as an instant messaging service, online, but hopes to return to in-person sessions soon. “The value of working face to face with people can’t be underestimated,” Lucy said.

That rings especially true when, like women’s centres all over the country, My Sisters’ House have been incredibly busy this year. Lucy tells me referrals have doubled since lockdown and she’s so busy dealing with them she has to speak to me on what should have been a day off.

A window in my Sister’s House

The pandemic is, in many ways, a perfect storm for women’s centres like My Sisters’ House. It represents a surge in demand exacerbated by systemic issues which predate the pandemic by several years.

Data released by Women’s Aid at the start of the year revealed that, in 2019, 64% of refuge referrals were declined, the number of refuge bed spaces in England was 30% below recommended levels and 34% of domestic abuse services in the UK were running refuge space without dedicated funding.

“There are not exhaustive pots of money.” She said “and while the government put some extra money into domestic abuse services, with the Domestic Abuse Bill, obviously the demand has increased exponentially.”

That bill, passed earlier this year, might go some way towards resolving problems the sector has faced for years, but doing so will take time.

And data from the Office of National Statistics suggests there’s a crisis of domestic abuse going on right now. If change comes, it might come too late for the victims of today.

Alongside a general increase in domestic incidents, police departments up and down the UK reported a 12% increase in calls related to domestic violence between January and July.

And My Sisters’ House isn’t the only domestic abuse service feeling the strain. 80% of community services surveyed by Women’s Aid have reported a measurable increase in demand. While Refuge, the national domestic abuse hotline, saw a 60% increase in calls, alongside a massive 700% increase in website traffic.

Lucy says there could be any number of reasons for an increase of this scale: “The fact that people can’t actually go out and meet friends or even go to the pub denies them a kind of safety mechanism that they need, whether that be for survivors or the perpetrators. Actually being able to get to out of the house is a huge safety mechanism.”

“It’s a really tricky time. Very isolating and very dangerous for a lot of people.”

Blue- ‘Increased demand’ Orange- ‘reduced demand’ grey- ‘no change in demand’

Alongside removing access to social safety mechanisms like friends and family, the pandemic has made daily stressors like finance, work and health harder to bear. All of which contributes to a toxic ‘covid cauldron’ in which domestic violence is both more likely and harder to escape.

All of that, in combination with the impossibility of face to face sessions, makes it harder to provide support, says Lucy: “(The referrals) are definitely more complicated. And the abuse seems to be more entrenched.”

“I think that people have been cooped up and that abuse has really had the chance to take hold.”

As difficult as it might be to access, Lucy is keen to emphasise that help is still out there. “It’s a case of contacting organisations like us.” She said “Something as simple as googling ‘local domestic abuse support’ can help. If you go to the Women’s Aid website, your local domestic abuse support should be on there, and there’s a 24-hour domestic abuse helpline.”

“At the moment, safety nets are harder to come by because our support networks are so much more restricted, but we’d always say that, if possible, alert neighbours and friends to what’s going on.”

When it feels like there’s no escape for a victim of domestic violence, Lucy’s work, and the work of all the other staffers at My Sisters’ House, can mean the difference between life and death.

Even so, there’s only so much they can do and, despite the potential severity of abuse, My Sisters’ House doesn’t recommend victims leaving their homes without a plan, especially not under conditions like these.

Lucy said they would never advocate leaving an abusive living situation until certain safety precautions are in place. Otherwise, she says doing so “can escalate the risk.”

That’s because refuge space, often a port of first call for survivors, is frequently hard to come by. A lack of resources mean refuges are understaffed and overbooked, even when they’re not coping with a global pandemic. So survivors who leave home with nowhere to go might find themselves in an even more vulnerable position.

“Refuge space is at an absolute premium at the moment.” Lucy said, “because people need to get away and there just isn’t enough space.”

That keeps domestic violence survivors stuck between a rock and a hard place: unable to stay at home, but equally unable to leave.

It’s a nightmarish situation. A situation domestic abuse staff can only do so much to relieve. Without a rapid structural change, an influx of new resources and a great deal more awareness, it’s hard to see exactly how things will improve.

Until then, and until things can go back to normal, domestic abuse staff like Lucy will keep doing what they can, working to support as many people as possible.

To find out more about My Sister’s House and support their work, visit their website or, to find domestic abuse services near you, visit womensaid.org.uk.