Have we Lost the Idea of Play?
By: Michelle Lee-Ann
Tags: Learning, Growing Up, Happiness, Happiness In Life, Play

In adults and in children?

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

A couple of months ago, my aunt, an anthropologist, was telling us about a lecture she was giving in her University class. It was all about play and how we learn things as children when we play. I learned, as kid, that you shouldn’t climb apple trees that have weak limbs, else you’ll come crashing to the ground and give your mom and your neighbour mom heart attacks. It was a good lesson to learn and I only climbed a few more trees after that, as long as they had sturdy branches. My aunt talked about her own instances of learning growing up, when they’d head out into the field and explore for hours on end, no schedule in sight, figuring things out as they went.

Surprisingly, or not so depending on who you ask, most of her class hadn’t truly played in years. They called out in gleeful remembrance of their soccer practices, of sports played with friends, of after-school activities that they did as youth. My aunt then pointed out that none of those were actual play. Yes, they were playing a game, and play is often used to describe what you do during such games, but it wasn’t the true type of play she was talking about. She was asking about the play where you use your imagination, try experiments, do things just for the hell of it. Play doesn’t have a set time or rules (except maybe come back for supper and don’t get yourself killed).

We’ve become too rigid of a society. Everything needs to be for a reason. We can’t just do anything because we love it, anymore, we have to have a backstory, a side hustle, something to give us reason as to why we do anything. We can’t just go out and explore, it needs to be something breathtaking, something productive. Sports are played to keep kids busy, to keep the mind busy. Art and music classes are taken to look good on resumes, showing that you have the dedication to a specific craft. No one really thinks about play and how it affects our minds, our happiness, the way we learn. At least, not until later in life when you stop giving a fuck about what people think and just do whatever makes you happy.

As a kid, I was enrolled in the classic swimming lessons and ballet classes. I loved both of them, but I also loved simply pulling out my Barbies and playing with them, making up stories, and creating a world of my own. I loved running to the park and climbing trees and rolling around in grass and making up stupid games that made no sense. I loved when we made little toothpick boats and raced them in the storm drains after a particularly good rainy day, or an excellently warm spring day that melted enough snow to get that little boat going.

The word play grew to be something childish, something only kids did. When I was 12/13, my friends and I would call one another, asking if we wanted ‘to do something’. Somehow, changing ‘play’ to ‘doing something’ made it more grown up. Play meant Barbies and dress-up. Doing something was far more sophisticated, even if all it really meant was that we would walk to the convenience store and talk. Often, we would still end up playing, in a sense of the word. We didn’t have any rigid plans, and we would end up climbing a wall, or shed, that would allow us to watch passersby below. Laughing, joking, jostling one another, we’d do nothing but swing our feet and judge, in that harsh way that pre-tween girls can do, one another and those who had the audacity to walk by.

Eventually, the days of climbing walls, trees, even making up elaborate stories, or playing MASH were swapped out for mall visits, movies, and parties we were too young to be at. The playing stopped and stayed halted well into our adulthood.

I don’t consider much that I do today play, by any standards. My days aren’t as rigid as high school, since I’m not in any type of sport, or after-school classes of any sort. Instead of running around full tilt in my yard, I do yoga under the trees, or go for a small walk. We don’t play as adults, because it’s still viewed as something that only small children do, something that we should grow out of. Looking for a photo for this post, I searched ‘play’ and kids happily playing showed up. I added ‘adult’ to that sentence, biting my nails at the sudden prospect that I’d get porn because it’s the internet, and the photos that splashed across my screen were those of adults doing something. Playing a violin, a guitar, playing soccer, sitting with friends. No one was actually playing. Not like the kids who were running through a sprinkler, throwing up leaves, or hanging off of fences were, at least. And, who says, as an adult, you can’t run through a sprinkler on a gloriously hot day?

I still feel that giddy sense of excitement whenever something catches my eye, like the time I had to let the play out and happily skipped through a forest. The oxygen was just too good, you know?

Maybe I should let myself play a little more, maybe I should let myself become excited at the little things, no matter how silly I look. I still remember how completely jazzed up I felt in that forest, skipping through the leaves, watching in awe at the waterfall, seeing if I could balance on logs, throwing leaves and sticks in the air like a lunatic. It was fun. I felt completely free, protected by a thick expanse of trees from any outside views, waiting to judge me like I judged anyone at 13.

Bringing play back into our lives can give us a boost of happiness, letting our minds wander and be creative without any kind of payday after it. When was the last time you were creative without wondering how many likes you were going to get or if you were going to make enough money off of it to pay your bills? When was the last time we just did things for fun? My cats play all the time, running around like bats out of hell whenever they get the zoomies, throwing fake mice (sometimes real) into the air and attacking them with their back paws, losing their minds over a simple piece of paper. They’re as happy as can be, and maybe they’re onto something. Besides, aren’t we all just wanting to live the life of a cat?