A hundred and twenty-four steps
By: Raíssa Gabriella
Tags: LGBT, Life, Short Fiction, Short Story, Short Read

So many steps I had to give to find you sitting so close to the end of the world. You aren’t aware of my presence here or that I’m staring at your back. You’re so radiant with your curly golden hair, your skin is so bronzed as someone who is always in the sun and so soft as someone who is always hydrated, it makes sense when you’re always in the water. Without your shirt, I could see how your body matches your face.

But I’m not here to admire you. I have to focus on what is important.

“Joseph?” I say it out loud, but my voice is shaking and is so low. You turn around and look at me with your green-blueish eyes, with a principle of smile raging in your lips. It’s the most beautiful thing I ever saw.

“I know what you’re thinking.” You say.

“No, you don’t.”

“I know what you’re going to say, and I disagree. You love me, but you’re scared of that.” Are so many steps between us. “I know you don’t want to lose everything at once.”

“You don’t understand…I…”

“Yes, Ann. I understand. I’m also afraid, but this, us, is more important than anything in this entire world for me.”

How many steps can someone give in whole life?

“Listen to me, please. You have to do what is best for yourself, not for them.”

How many steps am I away from the end of the world? I can smell the salt in the air, and hear the waves, the sun is warming me as a huge hug.

“You’re overthinking the situation.”

“I know what I feel about you, but what am I suppose to do? I cannot just leave. I cannot just beak things and hope to them to glue again by itself.”

“But you love me, not her. You aren’t supposed to marry someone that you don’t love.”

“I have to do the right thing, I can’t just walk away from this.”

“If you don’t choose me, I’ll have no reason to stay here. I’m gonna leave this place, and you’ll never see me again.”

“You’re asking me to make an impossible decision.” How far can you go? How many steps can I be away from you?

“The impossible decision should be you choosing to live lying to yourself and pretending to be someone that you aren’t, faking to everyone you love.”

“You don’t understand, I’ll lose my family.”

“Yes, I do. I was in the same situation, I also had to choose between myself and others. And here I’m standing in front of you, living my true self. And you should be able to do the same.”

“Jo, please. This has to end. I’m sorry.”

“You know that isn’t the right answer. You deserve to be happy.”

“Jo, I can’t.” My eyes are like the ocean behind you, full of water.

“An, choose me, be really mine. Let me be yours, more than I already am. Marry me, not her. You are the love of my life, and I was looking for you for so many years, I can’t lose you.”

“Joseph, I…” You are looking at me with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. “I love you. I want you for the rest of my life… but…”

And you are walking backward too close to the edge. I can’t think anymore.

I’m running to your arms. I cannot stand this anymore. Shouldn’t exit enough distance to tear ur apart.

You’re touching me now, and I’m doing the only possible thing: I’m jumping. I’m not scared of the end if it is with you.

A new world is expecting me.

And you are by my side.