Notes from a Reluctant Male
Tags: Fiction, Friends, Friendship, Dostoevsky, Facebook Friends

Part 2: Chapter 3

Friendship is bandied about easily in this country but outside the US, many do not so easily call someone a friend. In those cultures, friendship is earned over time. When someone I know revealed this to me, it changed my viewpoint. She was right in all aspects of it, after all. And, she described herself, as friendless. This sounded very pitiable and suspicious are first. She explained that the term friend meant more than just someone you hang out with on occasion and maybe in these days, text or call and most certainly NOT most of the people who show up in your social media Friends List. We will discuss that, or I will discuss it and you, if you decide, will listen. This woman told me that true friendship is a treasure if it is found but don’t go out hunting because inevitably, you’ll come home empty handed every time. Should you actually find it, give it the test of time and when you are at your lowest, and we all get there in one way or another, if that friend was with you through it and is still there after it, then and only then, you may bestow them with the title: Friend. Now, this story is not about her, but it did make me realize that I really didn’t have anyone who I could truly bestow that title on. Then, I went and looked at my Friend List on social media.

Should I have laughed or cried or just pressed delete? My circle of “friends” on social media is well below one hundred and of those, some are people I added without thinking it through and basically, pay little or no attention to. There are others on the list who are always whining about their problems and putting very personal information which seems like a desperate and constant need for attention. Sooner or later, one just grows tired of all the bad news and starts ignoring them. Cold hearted? Yes. But as they say where I am from “waddyagunnado?” I mean, most of the whiners are peripherals at best and maybe you knew them at some point in life and here they go on and on about their problems. “What goes up, must come down.” -Blood, Sweat and Tears. Misery loves digital company. Maybe I am just a callous person altogether. Most likely that is it and the whole problem lies within my own heart and soul. And I do it regardless, that is, just start ignoring them. I mean, at some point, please go see a therapist, a priest or join a support group.

Now, what about others on your list, you may ask. Well, there are those who just post so much nonsensical stuff that takes up space, wastes time and is just annoying. Click! Ignore! Then there are the worst, and yes, this is my opinion, those who you knew when you were younger and were of a questionable morality and now have either gone too far right or too far left. Ugh! Now, they are espousing expertise in politics or are just spreading hate and well, click and ignore. Now, what is one with less than one hundred “Friends” left with? Not much.

Of course, there’s family which you have to pay attention to, no matter how annoying they may be. Still, there are others who maybe you have not seen for many years but seem to have a head on their shoulders and you want to know how they are doing. But, in the end, you will probably never see, text or even talk to them on the phone. So, what’s the point, really? I guess it is to fight boredom in my case at times. I hate it but I can’t give it up and I know it keeps me from writing to you. Now, don’t ask me about bloggers, vloggers and all the other sundry distraction that one can be tempted by. Luckily, I am old and come from a time before all this online crap, and yes, I will call it crap, because at least ninety-five percent of it is. My age is showing, I started ranting again and went off topic. I am old and so pay very little attention to most of it because I was conditioned at a different time and in a different way.

Crap. Let’s talk about that. I will share my opinion and possibly insult you. No apologies will be offered as, well, it is only an opinion or multiple versions thereof. Now, I could write a whole book on what in my view constitutes crap, but who the hell would want to read that? Nice segue for me here. Let’s start with crap that people write concerning there very own personal opinions. Here, see, I am keeping it only to a few chapters. Aren’t I respectful? So some famous person who got famous for whatever reason, decides to write a book about their “experiences” becoming famous or for offering some opinion or practice that somehow went viral. Who the hell wants to make viral references during this COVID-19 thing? Huh, wonder if I am onto something. Will we do away with that ugly expression after this mess? God, I hope so as I never liked it anyway. And, to end this beginning paragraph, neither do I like people pontificating overzealously. Now, notice how I protected my self here. Yes, capitalist self-preservation is in order in my case. Obviously, I myself have been pontificating this whole time but I am attempting not to be overzealous about it. Plus, I may be a reluctant alpha, but I am an alpha, nonetheless.

More crap! Ok, I must admit that for going on twenty-five years now, I have not been a television subscriber. Catch your breath now, you watcher of all things TV. Yes, it is possible not to. Now, in saying this, I don’t want you to think I am setting myself above you in any moral or intellectual way. I realize that everybody has different interests and needs and do not condemn others for their particular escapisms. And, I must also reveal that I merely control what I view. I own a television, in fact a Smart TV which, of course, is an oxymoron to me. Oh, no I don’t sit around in a smoking jacket, holding a pipe and viewing culturally superior programs. Often times, just the opposite. Beer in hand, hands in the position of Al Bundy, guffawing at toilet humor. I just regulate it and my intake does often have a higher element of culture. But, I assure you, not all the time! I love a good action flick as much as the next guy. Although, graphic and gratuitous violence I for the most part, can no longer take. Funny enough, I used to live for that..crap.

Now, on the occasion that I am staying in a hotel or happen to be in a place that is showing a TV, I do try to watch a little. And you know what my reaction almost always is? No wonder this country is overarchingly full of stupid toadies and unhealthy. I mean, the content of commercials and the shows seems like the film Idiocracy seem like some lopsided and true prophecy. Sorry to have to make you wiki that if you haven’t watched it. Kind of an ironic twist, heh? That by blathering on about all this crap, I actually reference something you have to watch on some sort of device? Well, friends, that is the irony of fate? Have you seen that one? OMG, of course, you haven’t. Well, unless you are Russian or a Russophile. Happy New Year! Oh, I forgot the other point. Ok, the commercials for what some people actually call foodstuffs and worse, actually put in their mouths and ingest. No wonder obesity runs rampant! I mean, I am not scolding anyone for being obese, especially if they are TV subscribers in this day and age. But, sometimes I see these commercials and can’t help asking myself, people actually eat that? Ok, I am not some veganazi or even a vegetarian and not all these alleged food items are meat based. Gross! Blech! People are watching crap, people are selling crap on the televisions and people are eating crap. It’s like a massive snowball effect but it ain’t snow and it ain’t white.

Sorry, I have to calm down. I got all worked up after that last paragraph because the average person just doesn’t have the wherewithal to resist. Resistance, as some sci-fi show or movie once said, is futile. That is why I am a reluctant alpha. Leading makes no sense in this day and age. I am not good enough to lead people to God and not avaricious enough for industry. But, I do resist and I encourage you to find something to resist. We are pulled in so many directions that finding something to say no to is very liberating. Start with something easy, like that overpriced coffee. Once you develop the discipline to resist one thing, then move on to the next and increase the difficulty as you go. The taste of liberation will be sweet in the end. If you do one favor for me, and yes, even though we do not know each other, and most certainly are not “friends” in the true sense of the word, I will ask you a favor. Once you have built up your tolerance, resist stupidity above all other things. No, I am not calling you stupid. Resist temptations that are stupid is all I ask and don’t fall for what they are selling.

The last crap. Ok, this chapter or part has gone on long enough and I am about o end it. I know that it is one of the worst parts of this novella, and I thank you for coming this far. But, there is one piece of crap that is still hanging around and that I must speak about. This may very well be the biggest crap of all. The Information Age. Oh, bloody hell! Wah, wah, having access to all this information at our fingertips is a good thing for the world! Maybe it is to some degree, in fact, I know it is to some degree. The problem is, that hardly anybody now sees the need to become an expert in anything. Laziness abides because all we need to know is so readily accessible. Where will the great minds and new ideas come from? That’s what I want to now. Everybody just seems to be regurgitating everyone else’s crap and repackaging it as gourmet donuts. Hell, look at me. I am just adapting and regurgitating the work of a far better and more prolific writer. Yes, I am guilty of it as well. But the difference is that I am not afraid to admit it. Maybe someday, I will write an even better work with some profound new idea or something that has not said before or at least not in the way that I will say it. I don’t hold out much hope for that, but you never know. Too much information has caused this laziness as I was saying. No, not all the scholars, medical experts and theologians are gone…yet. This is the end of true wisdom or so it seems. Maybe I am just pessimistic or ha, ha, maybe I am just full of crap.