Being Ambitious = Overrated
By: Yena Choi
Tags: Ambition, Burnout, Management, Software Development, Beyourself

Being Ambitious = Overrated

Another Day of MS Teams! #NotAmbitious

As I have stated several times throughout this publication, I have been in my career field for 10+ years. I have to admit, the first few years of it, I sucked. I did the bare minimum, half-assed wrote tickets and was anti-social. This is what happens when you work in a corporate IT capacity as a teenager. Some how managed to slog through it for the first few years. Oh Department of Defense, I totally will not miss you at all.

By 2014, I was in my early 20s and ready to start another position at a Help Desk. I kinda felt like a real grown-up by then. I saw this as an opportunity to be a better worker and maybe a better human. It turns out that I became better than I was hoping for. At the end of that stint, I was answering/ resolving issues and navigating over 10+ databases, CRMs and troubleshooting servers with my eyes closed.

I believe around 2016 or so, I was familiar with various OS inside and out. I became a CISCO and Oracle monkey. Hardware and ERP/CRM junkie. Seemed like I was ready for the next step. I wanted to be part of the cool kids. I wanted to put as many certifications next to my name. I wanted a fucking alphabet soup! Who the hell wanted to spend their lives at a warehouse or a help desk at the age 50 ?? Not me!! I was ready for SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT and management? I accepted a job as a junior/mid-level Project Manager.

Then it became quite confusing, very quickly…

First up, some fuck bag was like “aye, you know html/css/sql, js that must be somewhat similar to back-end programming. I mean firstly, no, not even and SQL is a damn executionary/ assembly language. I believe I spent more time learning JAVA and Python. Python is my least favorite, just so you know. That somewhat morphed into managing IT acquisitions and contracts. I have to say, I was glad to learn back-end development. For some reason, I also knew federal acquisition process by heart. Not sure how that adds value to the world but I was glad. I also became very soul less in result.

I think by around 2018, I accepted and started on another position. At this point, I became a little more seasoned and went to another software development shop. YES, ANOTHER ONE! Why did I do that? Cool titles like Deputy Branch Chief allured me somewhat. Like most positions in my career, it always deviated from the job description. Never as cool as it sounds either.

Most people in my position manages contracted software developers, come up with bad ideas, attend meetings, send emails and attend more meetings with other old people. I guess I somewhat do that but also morphed myself into automating applications utilizing JAVA to eliminate as much manual testing.

Ask around, it is fucking weird and not normal. Not complaining either because I am a techie creeper first, human second.

Years later, I still exist in this position. What had it taught me? The nature of software development is everchanging and is a means to an end. That’s right, you heard it here first. No code is ever truly perfect. Stable — maybe, but stable still means you have to dump the code and write new ones eventually. Oh rewrites, how we all love it (says nobody). Writing ambitious codes means it’s too fancy and nobody can understand your logic. Just get to the point and move the fuck on. It is also much easier to debug. Bonus points if you insert comments.

I apply the same logic with myself, necessary minimum is not always bad as long as you are actually doing necessary minimum . It is somewhat different bare minimum, because with bare minimum does not always guarantee even the most modicum amount of quality. So, sign off on time and get some sleep without guilt. Shit is going to break anyways, you handle it then. Anticipating all production issues is like trying to predict the Second Coming. It does not work.

Also, nobody cares about the alphabet soup next to your name or how often you fall deathly ill due to overwork. The machine will go on without you. I promise. If you understand where I am coming from, great. If you don’t, that’s excellent too.