How to Avoid Building Up Bodily Tension and Consistently Feel Relaxed
By: Anthony Moore
Tags: Self Improvement, Peace, Relaxation, Stress, Anxiety

How to Avoid Building Up Bodily Tension and Consistently Feel Relaxed

You’ll Never Win the Comparison Game. Do This Instead.

“The stiffest tree is readiest for the ax.” -Bruce Lee

A few years ago, I was working as a telemarketer. I’d make around 250 calls a day to angry, volatile strangers who would consistently yell at me, cuss me out, and berate me for bothering them.

I was drinking 6–8 cups of coffee every workday (then slugging 2–3 drinks after work to calm down). I would wake up sweating in a panic in the middle of night. Every day at work felt like I was walking around with a gigantic black, nasty cannonball of stress in my gut.

I’d see my therapist, and he’d ask me how work was going. I’d say how hard it was to keep it all together. He would sometimes interrupt me and ask why my shoulders suddenly tensed, or why my hands were suddenly balled into fists. I’d look down in surprise and tell him I hadn’t even noticed.

Here’s an interesting fact about nature: if a gazelle successfully escapes from a hungry cheetah, it doesn’t just trot back to its normal life and pick up right where it left off. No, the gazelle will spend up to an hour after the chase in a trance-like state, swaying back and forth, eyes rolling, mouth open, their body releasing the explosion of sheer adrenaline from running for their lives.

After that, the gazelle is fine. They rejoin the herd as if nothing happened.

Humans respond very differently after incredibly stressful situations. What do you after a stern lecture from your boss about your mediocre performance? Or after a near car crash? What do you do after a public humiliation or an intimidating confrontation?

Most people just go back to what they were doing without releasing any of the tension. All that jaw-clenching fear, white-knuckle adrenaline, energy, and anxiety isn’t released; it stays in the body, and is always expressed in constant bodily tension.

Sadly, this is how many people live their lives. They experience constant extreme stress, but they hardly notice it. They rarely release it in productive ways (bingeing on TV and alcohol don’t count). They walk around with the world on their shoulders, pretending everything is fine.

I still find myself stressed out and anxious, sometimes incredibly so. I still walk around with tense shoulders and a flexed stomach without realizing it.

But through intensive therapy, I’ve learned how to calm down, and stay calm. I can relax more easily and fully. Difficult conversations with intimidating people don’t leave me a frayed bundle of nerves (usually). I know how to release extreme stress and go back to my day — something I could never do before.

Here’s how to avoid building up bodily stress and consistently relax more.

How to Avoid the #1 Body Stressor

“The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning attention back on yourself in self-concern, curling yourself up so tightly that you feel all knotted up.” -David Deida

A preoccupation with the self is a guarantee to create bodily stress and anxiety.

I’m not talking about healthy self-care or introspective reflections on your life; I mean obsessive worrying and endless thinking on the problems in your life.

This bodily stressor is often caused by: