10 Things I Still Hear Mom Saying
By: Lori Welch Brown
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Humor, Adulthood, Moms

#1 Make sure you have enough gas in your car.

Really, Mom? I’m an adult. Are you kidding me? I may be a hair away from the big E, and although I’ve never actually run out of gas, she may be onto something. There’s always a first. I like to think of this little gem as a gentle reminder of how easily the obvious can be overlooked.

#2 You need your sleep.

She said this to me pretty consistently throughout my life. I’m still not getting enough, but I hear ya’, Mom. Rest is mucho importante. She was a big fan of the afternoon post-General Hospital nap, btw.

#3 Treat others the way you want to be treated.

The timing of this oft’ dropped tenet usually followed one of my “I’m never speaking to her again” fights with my childhood bff, Lesley. Not only was she teaching me how to treat others, but she was also teaching me how I wanted others to treat me. Got a little confusing when I started dating and realized some guys never got this lesson. But, I was so sweet to you…

#4 You’ll make lots of friends in your life, but you’ll only ever have one family.

True. And, some days I want to kill them, but we are stuck with each other. We are all so different and so flawed. It’s a wonder any family sticks together, but they are the tribe we were born into. Sure, you can switch, but will the grass be greener? That’s what friends are for — they are the other side of the fence you get to walk over to and then come back to your family when it’s time for dinner. Although, it’s always good to ask your friend’s mom what they are having before you make that trek home.

#5 God first. Then myself. Then your dad. Then you guys.

This was her pecking order. When I was a kid, I didn’t quite get it. Why wasn’t I first? I was her youngest and ONLY daughter. Duh. That should have at least gotten me a shot at #2, right? Wrong. She wasn’t even a really religious person, but she believed in a higher being. That she put herself before Dad is pretty incredible to me given that she was raised in a time when women were kinda second-class citizens. And, then that she put Dad before us kids spoke to the fact that she understood the value of a partner and was committed to her marital vows. May explain why they got 52 years under their belts before she passed.

#6 Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Granted, her idea of breakfast was coffee and doughnuts, but she still made sure we had them every day before we headed out to school. Our grade school teachers probably weren’t super impressed by our caffeine highs and/or our imminent sugar crashes, but hey, this was before pre-green smoothie and/or protein bars. Has anyone done a sugar comparison on three Hostess powdered sugar donettes vs. a bowl of Captain Crunch? Given her options, I think Mom did okay.

#7 You only get one chance to make a first impression.

Did everyone’s mom say this or just mine? I thought everyone’s did until I conducted my first job interview, and the candidate showed up ten minutes late wearing flip flops and jeans. FYI — this was pre-casual work place environment and/or before ‘casual’ Friday was a thing.

#8 If you don’t speak up for yourself, no one else will.

Makes me a little sad to write this, but it’s true. You are your own best advocate. In my first office job at the age of 19, one of the big wigs liked my work and would by-pass his HR-appointed secretary (that’s what we were called way back when) and send for me. I enjoyed the work and C-level exposure, but was a little annoyed by the double duty/no credit scenario, not to mention the dirty-looks from Linda, so I approached Mr. Big Shot. Next thing I knew I had a desk outside of his office, a raise, and a promotion. Linda’s dirty looks turned to deadly sneers, but I got over it.

#9 “No” means no. It doesn’t mean go ask your father.

There are times in life when persistence pays off, but young kids need to learn that sometimes ‘no’ actually is no. There isn’t a back door. Kids also need to understand that if they are blessed with two parents (often not the case), that those two parents should be on the same page. If I asked a parent anything that required permission, their canned response was always, “What did your dad (or mom) say?”

#10 I love you just the way YOU are.

Damn it. Sometimes we just need to hear that someone loves us with that extra ten pounds or the cold sore or the smelly pits. Just you. Just as you are. In this moment without your extended lashes or Spanx, you are perfect. You are loveable. Thanks, Mom.