Here’s what living without social media is like
By: Tsoler Terzian
Tags: Social Media, Personal Development, Human Connection, Behavior Change, Social

A few months ago, I began a personal experiment. I decided to delete social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat) just to see how the world changes around me or even how I might change. I deactivated my FB account and deleted the IG and Snapchat app off of my phone. I know what some may be thinking — this is just another one of those attempts of a millennial trying to do a social media cleanse because they read about it in some article titled ‘Top 10 Benefits of a Social Media Detox’ or something like that. The only difference is that I’ve been off social media for a while now (not just a week or a month). It has been several months, and in those several months I’ve seen behavioral changes in myself, how others have reacted to my social media absence, and most importantly — how hooked we are to our phones, with or without social media apps. The following is a list of things I’ve noticed and learned from being off social media. But first, I’ll tell you about my top motivators for conducting this experiment. It all started with asking myself this question — “Could I go on a vacation without posting a single thing on social media?” I thought of my trip to Puerto Rico back in February and remembered how everything I saw and did was so instagrammable like swimming in the bio-luminescent bay or driving through El Yunque National Forest; so I will be the first to admit — yes, it would be hard to go on vacation and not post a single thing on IG. The follow up question is “Why?”. Why do I or why does anyone ever feel the need to publish their fancy vacation for all their people back home to see? I will let Drake answer this question for you —

“ I know a girl whose one goal was to visit Rome

Then she finally got to Rome

And all she did was post pictures for people at home

’Cause all that mattered was impressin’ everybody she’s known

I know another girl that’s cryin’ out for help

But her latest caption is “Leave me alone”

I know a girl happily married ’til she puts down her phone

I know a girl that saves pictures from places she’s flown

To post later and make it look like she still on the go”

-Drake, Emotionless

Apps like IG influence our purchasing decisions. We see a friend post a colorful picture of some European street and the next thing we do is a self-assessment questioning whether we are living our best lives which then leads us to an airline website looking up flights to some tropical destination all to get that IG post and show our audience how cool we are. But, anyway, here is the list of things I’ve noticed and learned from being off social media

You’ll always be behind on personal news if you’re off FB.

My cousin announced her pregnancy on Facebook while I was off. I had to learn from my mother who asked me “Did you hear your cousin is pregnant?”. If she hadn’t said anything, I would have found out eventually from word of mouth, but I’d definitely be the last to know about it. People rarely ever make personal texts or calls to share the good news. That human connection is completely missing.

2. Birthday posts

It was a great idea to be off of social media during my birthday — I learned who truly remembers what day it is rather than relying on Facebook to remind them. Although, in all honesty, I don’t really care whether you missed my birthday — no hard feelings! But, that’s not the point. Something really interesting happened on my birthday. I was face-timing my brother who told me it was too bad I didn’t have FB anymore because he was planning on a big post to wish me a happy birthday. I shook my head in frustration and wanted to scream. It is fascinating to me that people feel the need to publish birthday wishes for someone when we could tell it to them personally which, in my opinion, makes it much MORE meaningful and forces human connection and interaction.

3. Birthday posts + other sappy posts

This point is related to #2. I probably don’t even need another number here, but there is a lot more to be said about posting our feelings all over the internet. I’ll phrase it another way. Mother’s Day? Go tell your mom you love her and appreciate her. Maybe buy her flowers and resist the urge to post those flowers on IG — nobody cares if you bought your mother flowers on Mother’s Day. There are a million other people doing the same thing. Valentine’s Day? Please spare us the sappy posts about how much you love your significant other. This is getting to be so unoriginal. Stop with the posts and learn to be creative again. Keep your love private. There is something exciting and intimate about couples who don’t broadcast their love for each other on every social platform. Did I mention that it forces human connection?

4. The art of small talk

I’m sitting at lunch with my coworker on a Monday, and I ask her what she did this past weekend. She begins with “I don’t know if you saw my Instagram story but…” This feels like if I had seen her IG story, we wouldn’t need to discuss what she did because I would already know. But, since I hadn’t seen it, she’d have to recount her weekend to me like it’s some burden. I won’t make any more comments about this point.

5. I’m making more time for people and things that I love

I’m reading more books again. I read until I fall asleep and it is the best feeling. I’m ashamed to say I used to look at my phone scrolling through the apps before bedtime and often I’d wake up with a headache from having done that. Now I am actually educating myself and remembering how exciting it is to get lost in a really good book. I’m discovering documentaries, podcasts, and articles and filling my brain with ideas. It’s like a switch was gradually flipping in my brain the moment I got off social media. My curiosity has piqued like never before.

When I’m out with friends, I give them all my attention. I’m so much more awake that I’ve actually started noticing other peoples’ tendencies of checking their phones. I’m rediscovering what most people would call the ‘awkward silences’ when my friend and I run out of things to talk about so we just sit there people-watching and enjoying each other’s presence. Remember that thing I said about human connection in my previous points?