Is MDMA Assisted Therapy worth it?
By: Mark Tully
Tags: Mdma, Maps, Psychedelics, Therapy, PTSD

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

I recently travelled to Lisbon to try MDMA assisted therapy with a MAPS trained psychotherapist. MDMA consumption and possession of small amounts for personal use has been decriminalised in Portugal. I don’t have PTSD or any trauma, but I keep reading papers about this breakthrough new treatment so I was curious to give it a try.

What are the benefits of MDMA assisted therapy?

This study states that:

MDMA increases oxycotin levels, which may strengthen the therapeutic alliance. MDMA increases ventromedial prefrontal activity and decreases amygdala activity, which may improve emotional regulation and decrease avoidance. MDMA increases norepinephrine release and circulating cortisol levels, which may facilitate emotional engagement and enhance the extinction of learned fear associations.

So how did the session go?

The therapist comes to your hotel but you have to supply the MDMA.

I acquired street MDMA but then purified it by doing a single solvent recrystallization by dissolving it in isopropyl. Very easy to do. That separates the MDMA from the gunk and gets the purity up to at least 96% which is medical grade.

The session is not shamanic in the slighest but professional and clinical. The protocol is you have an intention setting call the day before, on the day the therapist spends 4–5 hours at your hotel and then you have an integration call a few days later.

The therapist offers this with other psychedelics. She said the classic psychedelics are better for consciousness expansion, e.g. if you have issues with depression or addiction and your world has become very narrow. MDMA is better for going deep into a particular blockage such as a traumatic experience. MDMA is an empathogen so it makes you more focused on feelings and on personal relationships. It helps breaks down your ego and your resistance so the therapist keeps trying to guide you towards how you feel and the areas you said you wanted to explore in the intention setting call.

She gave me 100mg to start and then another 50mg after an hour.

She gave me 500mg of alcar (acetyl-l-carnitine) before I dosed and 100mg of ala (alpha lipoic acid) every hour which mitigates the oxidative stress and neurotoxicity according to rollsafe. She said take magnesium afterwards to reduce the stress on your jaw.

During the session, I could feel my ego subside and my empathy increase. I also sweated profusely. What is interesting is that it is much easier to be honest with the therapist. Sometimes when I have had therapy in the past my ego has crafted a false narrative when explaining things which obviously defeats the point. Whereas here, I would just talk more truthfully and innocently.

After the therapist left I had a lot of positive feelings toward my partner. As I am cerebral and not feeling she liked this temporary new empathetic me.

The day after I felt totally fresh and glowing. The therapist said a lot of the clubbing hangover people get when taking MDMA is due to alcohol and staying up all night.

Interestingly, two days after I felt really blue and I noticed a huge negative swing in my emotions. I know this normally happens with MDMA and thought I was going to avoid it but alas, no. I just took it easy that day and practiced self care.

Three days after the session I had a really disturbing nightmare and I never have nightmares. I was very real and when I woke up I could still remember it vividly and the feeling of terror lingered. I normally forget my dreams in 3 seconds. I had an integration call with the therapist. I assumed the nightmare was just serotonin depletion and was the price to be paid. She disagreed and said its not, it is issues I have supressed that the MDMA is forcing to the surface and these should be investigated futher in therapy.

Because I felt so good the day after I didn’t take the 5-HTP with EGCG that I had planned to. In hindsight that was a mistake.

If you have trauma, then this could be very interesting as you could go deep to that painful place while bolstered in a gossamer MDMA cloud. If you are emotionally reserved (like my Dad and many men) then this could also be very benefical. If you are just curious, I don’t think the therapist adds enough value to justify 8 hours of their time. Unless you are filthy rich, in which case go for it. In my case, the next time it would be better for me to do it with my partner and we can both gush over each other. An MDMA assisted romantic weekend every so often could only be good for a relationship.

Written during Writers Hour ✍️