Coronavirus and the Pandemic of Loneliness
By: Stark Raving
Tags: Parenting, Coronavirus, Mental Health, Loneliness, Depression

Coronavirus and the Pandemic of Loneliness

Photo by Jonathan Rados on Unsplash

The pandemic spread like wildfire because of the connectedness of modern existence. Never in human history has there been so much intermingling of individuals from across the globe, so much movement in so little time. Ironically, this connectedness is also the first thing the pandemic destroyed. As borders closed back up and transport is cancelled, many people are stranded far away from the people they love, or on lockdown and unable to see their closest friends who only live a block away. This has been creating isolation all year, but loneliness is always accentuated during the holidays.

More than a religious holiday or a commercial one, for Christians, Christmas is a family holiday. For better or for worse. Christmas is arguing over politics and an overworked chef having a meltdown, it is radically different personalities in the same family clashing and setting off sparks, it is meaningful gifts, spilled drinks, laughter and time dedicated just to each other. It is love, at its purest and most complicated.

I’ve had to cancel my flights home to see my family. I was in a practical mindset when I took the decision, but as I phoned my parents to tell them I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying. It’s silly, I’ll see my parents again soon, but somehow this change in Christmas plans just crystallised all the deep feelings of loss this year has brought. The people who passed away before their time, and those we have been separated from, the tiny bits of everyday life that bring strangers together in cities in restaurants and bars and parks, and that didn’t seem to matter until they were no longer there and we realised that the outside world, the world of others, is what keeps us human.

I saw a post on Facebook today, a woman who travelled abroad for a business trip had tested positive for Coronavirus and said she would be spending Christmas alone in her hotel room. “Does anyone want to have a virtual Christmas?” she asked her Facebook friends, with a crying emoji. Seeing this echo of my own experience drove it home for me how many people must be in this same situation. Covid 19 might be a frightening pandemic, but so too is the pandemic of loneliness that it is creating. Although restrictions are necessary if we ever want these bad times to end, we need to be mindful of people’s mental health. Government’s often have a mentality of “the people will deal with it”, they assume they are working for the “greater good,” but that ignores the fact that our mental health is just as important as our physical health, and can be just as deadly if we don’t take care of it.

The fact is, public-health experts had been concerned over an epidemic of loneliness even before the Coronavirus. The problem has only been exacerbated, especially for those 35 million Americans who live alone. During the first wave of the virus, a group of doctors from Boston Children’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School published an article in the Annals of Internal Medicine warning that physical distancing and stress caused by the pandemic, combined with rising firearm sales, could worsen the suicide crisis. And if you doubt the harmful effects loneliness can have, researchers have shown that it can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

If you are feeling lonely this Christmas, there are several imperfect solutions. Many events are happening online at the moment, meaning you can meet people with similar interests to you — and they can be anywhere in the world! You might even make some life long friendships. You could also schedule daily video calls with your loved ones, many of whom are likely to be in the same situation as you are. There is no shame in reaching out. You could also get involved in volunteer programs to help out during the pandemic — providing you are fit enough and not in the most vulnerable groups. This would enable you to get out of the house, to meet more people and to help others at the same time.

I feel like I’ve been repeating this over and over this year, but it remains true: this too shall pass. Better days will come.