fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Importance Of A Mother In Life And What She Wants For Her Kids!
By: Halt
Tags: Motherhood, Mother Day, Kids, Kids Stories, Mothers

Mothers are the gift of life. We analyzed a decade of search data worldwide. We found that the number of times the people search the term ‘Mother’ worldwide Vs ‘God’ is equal.

This indicates the importance of a mother in our lives. Indians and Germans lookup for ‘mother’ more often than Americans, Russians & Australians. A mother is often taken for granted for most of us mother’s funeral is the day we realize that we lost a best friend. Mother is someone who accepts you as-is. Everyone has a hidden fear of losing one’s mother someday. Every mother has the same emotional fear of what will happen to her kids after she is gone. Everyone desires that their mother is with them throughout life.

You ask a child who has lost his/her mother or had never been fortunate enough to see her. Make a wish that you want God to grant you. The answer will make you realize the real value of a mother.

Kids and adults often disrespect their mothers at times. Realization comes later when they themselves experience parenthood. Some talks and actions are beyond one’s comprehension as a kid as we have not seen life enough till then. A mother’s love is so selfless and pure that even while dying she wishes her kids to follow certain rules in life. Thinking her kids will follow those makes her happy till eternity.

No matter what five things a good mother wishes god to grant her kids are…

1) Wisdom Before Money

Before bestowing kids with money, give them the wisdom to make good use of it as without wisdom money is useless. Guide and help them lead a meaningful and purposeful life.

2) Unconditional Togetherness

As a parent, a mother wishes to see her kids together for life not only till she is alive but ever after. She feels blessed seeing them getting success in life. Helping each other grow rather than being competitive with each other.

3) Ability to Remain Grounded and Think High

A good mother tries that her kids understand the importance of balance in life. Giving them the maturity to handle super luxury or misery. She knows that both conditions have a chance to mislead them from the path of righteousness.

4) Keep them Enlightened With Education

Teach her kids to appreciate and value education & learning all their lives. Pursuing continuous learnings will help come out of stressful life situations in life.

5) Ability to Step Back & Think

Bless her kids with thinking ability to differentiate between right & wrong. Give them thoughtfulness to step back for once and think before chasing success in life. She knows success is not fame but peace of mind. They must chase happiness, not success in their life for everyone gets to live only once. Be kind towards your mother and do seek ways to show your love and affection not only on Mother’s day for every day. Remember to be by her side always.

Is there the best advice your mother ever gave you? Do share your love and the importance of your mother for you in the comments. Is there the best advice your mother ever gave you?

Originally published at https://www.haltandthink.com.
My wipes story
By: Nneka Omin
Tags: Motherhood, Lee, Mothers, Mothers Day, Parenting

Of all the items i got introduced to when i became a mother, the one product that i immediately feel in love with till date is the baby WIPES.

Its a versatile item with diverse uses. infact, its usage ranges from serving the baby, to other siblings (if any) , to mom's and even dad's if need be and you can decide on what to use it for other than its primary purpose which is BUTT cleaning for babies.

In my household, its usage includes cleaning Livy's butt, hands, face, mouth after meals, her high-chair tray. Other usages includes cleaning my make-up from my face and other random surfaces.

Even Lee has adapted to its usage that it has become his go-to- item if he needs to clean surfaces except after spilling liquids.

Fortunately for me , my kids are not allergic to any brand of wipes so far.

Its one of my most bought items since i became a mom.

I just want to feel like i am not alone. This is not to say that i do not wash my kids hands with water o.

I just love the fact that it is disposable. it serves me some time from unnecessary washing of towels.

I even bought a 'Wipes warmer' (one of the useless baby product i bought). its job is to warm the wipes so that it doesn't feel too cold to touch or on the body. Don't blame me. Some days , i am a hardworking mom. Other days, i am plain lazy.

Hey mama’s, are we alike?

Feel free to share some the weird things you do too. My email is s below.

E: nnekaomin@gmail.com
The lioness is down, the lioness is down! Gods finally hit below the belt . . .
By: Vineet Kaul
Tags: Love, Life, Death, Mothers, Cancer

With death staring at her, the only real grouse she had was that her right hand had stopped functioning because of which she could not work. She continued to smile throughout. I did not see her frown or complain even one single time. I am not sure where she got the courage or what drove her but it was extraordinary and beyond belief.

The burden we will carry for the rest of our lives is how she totally internalised her illness & inevitable death that she saw approach closer and closer each day without batting an eyelid.

True to her nature, the last conversation she initiated with signs and sounds was to ask me if I had transferred money to our domestic help (Hema aunty has been on paid leave since March, 2020).

When we got her back from the hospital, it seemed like a mini victory in a battle that was already lost. She came back because she wanted to finally leave from home, a makeshift home that is. Deemaa, we could not go back home! I know you desperately wanted to. We could not even get a home away from home. We tried really really hard but it just did not happen. I will regret this for the rest of my life.

However, here is what we do and I am sure we will succeed. When you are at a better place, you have a responsibility, of making a home for us one more time. It should be on a country side far from the hustle of cities. One should clearly be able to see snow peaked mountains. There should be fields all around and when the wind blows, the crops should begin to sing and dance. There should be a river nearby and a brook going past our home. We will use that water for our garden and catch an occasional fish. A kitchen garden is in order as well, it should have the best produce at all times. I will go out like before, steal a radish, wash it in the brook and just savour the moment.

During winter, the massive windows of our home should allow our eyes to constantly gaze at the falling snow flakes. When the spring and summer comes, foraging morels and strawberry should be our fav activity.

At one of the corners, we should have a beautiful temple where Mahadev resides. A beautiful stone set in the temple where milk and belpatre is offered in his devotion. A place where we bow our head and surrender when there is nothing left to fight for.

When the times comes, it comes for everyone, I will look for you Dee and we will meet again. We will then make fun of Kashmir, much like we made fun of every other hill station or mountain that we saw. Because the place you will make us our home will be the place to be!

Deemaa, knowing you, I am certain that you will not complain to the Gods on why they took you away from us. But I sure hope in hell that you drive them absolutely crazy with your magnanimity, cleanliness, discipline, and order.
Lasting Embrace: The Bond Between Mothers and Children During the Holocaust
By: United States Holocaust Memorial Museum
Tags: Motherhood, World War II, Mothers, Children, Holocaust

1940

Jadwiga Wanda Wlodek, a Polish mother pictured with her sons, Krystyn and Janusz, rescued a Jewish baby, Jurek Kaiser (later known as Gerald), who was born in 1940 in Kielce, Poland. The family, including Jadwiga’s husband, Stanislaw, cared for Jurek while his parents were at a forced labor camp. Jurek’s father was killed in 1942 or 1943. His mother was transferred to two other camps but survived the Holocaust.

Stanislaw became active in the Polish underground. Germans arrested Jadwiga during an anti-partisan action and deported her to Auschwitz, where she was killed in 1943 or 1944. While Stanislaw hid in the forest, his teenage sons cared for Jurek. When word got out that Jurek was Jewish, he went to live with Stanislaw’s sister in another village until he could be reunited with his mother, Cesia.

1947

Jurek and Cesia (pictured above kneeling next to her son) spent four years in the Bergen-Belsen displaced persons camp before immigrating to Israel in 1950. In 1957 they moved to the United States.
Forgiving, accepting, and surviving
By: Nisa Namira
Tags: Love, Mothers, Grief, Mental Health, Missing Persons

Forgiving, accepting, and surviving

This story won’t be so hard to read, I’m just trying to tell myself, and to tell whoever read this, that life, is not always going to serve up what we would expect. There’ll be so much problems, bad dreams that will haunt you every day or every night, tears that will probably drawn yourself, but it’s alright — you just have to accept it, and survive.

What about forgiving? I know sometimes it gets hard for you to say the ‘sorry’ words to others, but again, that’s okay. Start from forgiving yourself. Stop asking yourself questions, ‘why should i forgive myself when i’m the one who’s hurting?’ ‘why should i forgive myself when i didn’t do anything wrong?’ When the answer is always: it’s because you should take care of yourself.

Be kind to yourself, it’ll lead your mind, and your health to a very good condition.

I do not force you for doing anything that you don’t like, if you don’t want to do it now — then, you still have time to find the actual reasons why you should forgive yourself, before you take care of the rest of your problems. But, the clock is always ticking, days turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years, so don’t waste your time before lost it all. Life is not always about regrets if you use your time wisely.

I was a really young girl when I experienced my very painful grief, all I remember was: that was supposed to be a sunny day. I should be able to see birds flying, hear the waves crashing against the shore, and maybe — eating lot of ice cream. But as I said, life is not always going to serve up what we would expect, the truth about that day: the waves seems like it stop moving, I can’t see the birds flying, even the ice cream would taste bitter, like sorrow. There was no sun shining bright from the sky, it was raining, hard.

I didn’t cry. The rain do it for me.

I let myself drawn into a dark place, a very dark place. All I can see was a very-sad reflection of mine, begging for my life will come back to me like it used to be. I cried in my sleep, that dreams became my reality, and my reality became my enemy.

That was a hard time. I need to let go of everything that burdens me, I shouldn’t be on that stage, I shouldn’t felt that way, I shouldn’t pitied myself.

So, I accepted it. I accepted everything, but I still need to survive. I’m still in my unstable condition — I need to make myself find the meaning of this life, why should I stand tall on my own feet. It would take some time, but it’ll be alright.

To you, my everything, I hope you shine brighter than the sun, you are my brightest star, mama. I’ll live this life for the two of us, until we meet again. I’ll make sure that I’ll never let you go again from me.

I miss you, and love you always.

With love, N.
Look further than your mother. This sh!t is generational!
By: Hawa K. Bond
Tags: Daughters, Mothers, Mothers And Daughters, Generational Trauma, Healing

I used to lament about how my mother’s limitations affected me. I blamed her for the pain in my life. I blamed her for the sad state of our relationship. I blamed her for not understanding how to fix it. I was a full-fledged factory of blame, handing it out like pizza rolls on free-food-tastes day at Walmart.

Then I looked around at how my own trauma was showing up in my life. I called myself killin’ the parenting game, until I received bitter little tastes of how my children experienced me at certain times of our lives. I thought my goal was to just not be like mom. After some good hits and deplorable misses, I realized… My mother was simply an unhealed soul, dealing with the trauma handed to her with the double-duty of attempting to survive under the watchful and judgmental eye of a daughter who expected perfection.

I experienced a sincere release of frustration, disappointment, and anger for her. This thing was generational, and she was simply passing to me what was passed to her. We were passing a baton that was more like a hot potato — too hot to hold but virtually impossible to put down.

I adopted “It ends with me.” She was just as much a wounded little girl as I was. WAS. I looked to what was handed to her and developed a sincere compassion, grace, and patience for what she didn’t have to heal her own pain. I simply stopped expecting her to be able to do this on her own. I’m blessed to have tools, coaches, communities, and Google. She wasn’t. She suffered in silence like so many of our matriarchs while trying to figure out how to love me and raise me to be free. I watched our relationship blossom when I stopped expecting anything more than she was spiritually, mentally, and emotionally equipped to deliver. What I didn’t expect was watching her step into the space I created for both of us to be great. This journey has been over 10 years, and worth every tear, glass of wine, and bout with runny mascara.

She said something to me a couple of days ago that floored me. “I’m learning each person has to choose their own journey. I don’t get to say how that looks.” My mother was one of the most critical and judgmental people I ever encountered. WAS. I mean, deeply and painfully so. Did I mention…. WAS? Hearing her release that history after watching me release it all almost left me in a heap. I swear there’s light at the end of this tunnel. It’s just a long tunnel with lots of pit stops (and not enough bathrooms, but I digress).

I’m on a mission. https://www.hawabond.com
Grieving in the Mundane
By: Caitlyn Roby
Tags: Loss, Grief And Loss, Life, Mothers, Grief

Recently, my life has felt very routine. I wake up every morning, I go to work, and I come home. Once I arrive at home, I cook, and I complete my daily to-do’s. I love my job, and I love the people I work with. I do other things on occasion. I really do enjoy my life, but it is still mundane. By that I mean, my day-to-day is very predictable. It’s not vibrant and exciting.

I also realize that mundane is most people’s reality. Everyone struggles with answering the, “So what is new with you?” question we all get when meeting friends out for lunch. We all go through seasons of life where we often find ourselves dreaming of what is to come after this mundaneness is over. Where will we go from here? There has to be something more exciting on the horizon. Right?

When I am feeling this way, it is much easier for me to be on auto pilot. I often forget the things happening around me. I have found my grief journey is heavily affected by this. Sometimes, everyday life makes grief feel like an old friend. I am only focused on my busy work schedule, that I lose sight of things. I even forget that my mom is dead. That sentence felt strange to even type out. But, it’s true. I get busy, and I sometimes forget that she’s not here any longer.
Amma
By: Leo Paapam
Tags: Death, Mothers, Photo Essay

I’m transferring all of my old blog posts from various sources and consolidating them onto Medium until I make my own website. This one was published on 26th July 2015, recently after my mother’s death

Mother

I went to Bhilai to visit Amma, she recently got diagnosed with Crohn’s. She was at her sister’s house recovering/battling slowly from the ailment that she was diagnosed with, which never existed in the world we lived in. I also took my camera along with me for documenting Bhilai and Chhattisgarh in general, for which I could never muster up enough time. I learned upon reaching about Amma’s condition. My job was to basically help her start walking again. And we succeeded. She started moving her legs by herself by the time I was to leave back to Mumbai to tend to some unfinished projects.

Grandmother

Ammamma would always be in the room where Amma would be, with a rosary in her hand, she prayed throughout the day for her daughter’s good health. I don’t think she slept at any point for the week I stayed there, or maybe she never gave me the chance to catch her sleeping.

Amma never smiled during this week, also, couldn’t talk much because of her weakness. Before the day I was to leave for Mumbai, I asked her to smile for a picture. She smiled for one picture before returning back to her abnormally normal poker face. I left with these images I made that day, feeling proud of the progress we made. I left her with my aunt and grandmother to take care of her while I returned back to Mumbai.

The following week she was admitted to the ICU. I reached Raipur 15 minutes after she was pronounced dead. These become the last images I took of Amma.
你真的知道坐月子的重要性吗？足以改变产后妈妈的后半生！
Tags: Family, Mothers, Maternity, Baby

产后妈妈的坐月子生活

女人的一生可能只有几次坐月子的“机会”，在这个30–42天里，几乎每分每秒都要做出抉择：吃什么、喝什么、该做什么还有不该做什么。

辛苦熬过了9–10个月的怀孕期，又经历了最高等级的“断肋骨”之痛，还有哪位妈妈有心力去操心坐月子的事呢？

排恶露、消水肿、洗伤口、防便秘、防忧郁、补元气；又要注意洗身子、泡脚、按摩、泵奶喂奶…相信我，这些都需要丰富的经验才能做好。

为什么坐月子那么重要？坐月子应该吃什么？

【月子餐】是整个坐月子时期最困难、最费心思同时也是最重要的。这42天的饮食，比你一辈子吃什么还重要。如果轻看了，将会对妈妈日后的生育、健康和情绪造成很大程度的影响。

产后的第一周妈妈属于严重虚脱的状态，这时候应该先以清淡饮食为主，将恶露全部排出，而不是直接吃补身子的食物。

蔬菜、鸡蛋和清粥将占据了第一周的食谱。也少不了只有丰富经验的月嫂会煮的清淡汤。同时不能急着催奶。

第二周到最后一周的月子餐也需要大量的经验和知识。如果是你的老婆，你绝对不想看到她辛苦生了孩子后还没有得到妥善的坐月照料。

产后妈妈的小天使 — — 月嫂

专业的事就应该请专业的人来做。请一位拥有几十年照顾产后妈妈经验的月嫂来协助你30–42天的饮食起居，让你在生完孩子后能安心地恢复身子。

在Ayiconnect.com，你能在预产期来到之前就找到属于你的专属月嫂。在我们的认证平台上拥有多名专业的月嫂供挑选，价格也随着月嫂的经验和能力而定制，包括懂得中/英双语的月嫂。同时能够线上线下双向筛选，直到遇见你满意的人选为止。

在坐月子的6周里，无论是备食、照料、按摩、清洁、喂食全都交给在Ayiconnect上的专业月嫂。让你安心恢复元气，快速回到平凡美好的生活。

________________________________________________________

AyiConnect is a platform to connect families with helpers who have a language specialty in addition to care. You can engage with them directly through self service or concierge service. The concierge 1:1 service can provide another option to ensure success matches for busy families who don’t have time to search or need language assist. Schedule a free consultation here for our concierge service, or check us out on ayiconnection.com
It’s January 21st — of 2021.. I took two walks today. One with my son…
By: The Flax Meadow
Tags: Mothers, Narcissistic Abuse, PTSD, Cptsd, Sky

The Palindrome

It’s January 21st — of 2021. Today, 01/21/2021, is actually a palindrome. Same thing forward and backward. And how strange the coincidence, that in my own life, I’m striving for somewhere between.

I took two walks today. One with my son and my dog earlier. The other alone. As I set off for a short walk in my neighborhood, I saw a young mother with three children that looked to be of the same height, maybe by a mere inch or two separating them. Her youngest, a girl, was gleefully making a noise, which I found endearing, as the mother of now big kids. She was simply trying to pick them up from what must’ve been her childcare — a friend or relative perhaps. It struck me as I watched her getting them all into her car — that was me just 6 years ago. I was the mom who, after working a full day, really wanted to get everyone in the car and get home, and who probably just could not find such a noise endearing.

I walked and the cold air hit my face, but the sky above me told a different story. The blue mixed with orange, yellow, and some pink. Scattered clouds like the pattern of a mixed breed puppy. There was hardly any sun, but it made it’s presence known, regardless. It was there.

I walked and I thought of my own mother, who would do more than smile at young children, she would relish in them and the attention they gave her, and that she could give them. A bizarre thing to think of now, given that, in the words of Toni Morrison, her eyes did not light up when I entered a room. Or came home from school. Or had something to show her.

It must’ve been so much easier to look at another child — one not her own — and be able to connect with them. It’s just a transient connection, of course. Nothing deep or permanent. She is in control. She can end that connection when she chooses.

I walked and I realized, the only reason she ever walked was to lose weight. To shed off the layers which she insulated herself with to pretend she was fine. To pretend that we were all fine. She taught me to do the same. Shed them — don’t have any concern for why they are there. Just shed them. Appearance is paramount.

I walked and I realized that my greatest fears have had me caught right in the middle. I want to be like her, because it’s safe. I don’t want to be like her, because it’s unsafe.

I walk, and I’m finding that middle ground. That both are true. And that it’s okay to exist in the space where both can be true.
Nkem, you did not lie.
Tags: Mothers

One morning when I was 12, My father held my mother’s hands to his chest. She looked up at him smiling, I heard him say to her “thank you for all you have done.” He put her hands down, picked up his suitcase and left the house. We never saw him again.

When I was 15, it seemed like my mother would never get over the disappearing act of her husband. She would laugh but not with her eyes. She would sing but not from her heart. And she would look at me as if I wasn’t really there.

My mother’s sister would come and sit with her.“Don’t die of a broken heart, Nkem. Who would teach your daughter all she needs to know if you do?”

Eventually, my mother listened to her sister.There was a little bounce in her step now. When she looked at me, I know she saw me because she smiles and touches my face. She laughed now. We ate together again, and she assumed my father’s seat at the table. Soon, it was as though it had always been hers

Here’s what my mother taught me.

“You have nobody but me, Adanna. ”

“A man is for a while, not forever.”

“Let him be a part of your life but not all of it. ”
Gratitude for my Mother
By: Ahmad Azam
Tags: Gratitude, Love, Mother

What’s gratitude? Gratitude is the quality of being thankful or exercise to show appreciation in return of kindness. Gratitude is all about realizing that something is valuable to us, without considering the monetary worth of it. According to Robert Emmons (scientific expert on gratitude) gratitude has two components in it, first is affirmation of goodness and second is recognizing that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves.

“Gratitude make sense of our past, bring peace for today and creates vision for tomorrow.” Melody Beattie

Why I decided to show gratitude for my mother?

My mother is the only personality who helped,motivated and supported me throughout my life and specially during my highs and lows. Whenever I feel demotivated I take inspiration from her life. When my father was abroad, she suffered a lot for making us feel good about life because we were financially suffering at that time. Whenever my family had any financial problem, she never lost courage and gave me the lesson of facing the problems instead of avoiding them. She used to wear old clothes so that I could wear new ones. While deciding my career unlike other illiterate parents she fully supported me and never pushed me to choose a career of her choice. She did everything a mother can do for a child but in addition to it, she is the only one with whom I share my problems and griefs.

Always my mother forever my friend

I always wanted to say thanks to her but I’m a very shy child, I avoid these acts because I become very emotional. I wanted to say to my mother that I really care about her and appreciate her efforts but I could not gather my courage to say.

Fortunately, I got a project work during my career prep fellowship at Amal Academy to practice the power of gratitude by appreciating people in my life who helped me. I had to complete this activity and through this activity I was able overcome my shyness and hesitation.

My mother love perfumes she often ask me to bring perfumes for her but in my busy routine I usually forget about it. Therefore, I bought perfumes as a gift for her. After coming back home from university I asked her to come in another room because I was feeling shy in the presence of my siblings. When she came, I gave her the present and finally I said, “Thank you for everything”. I further said that you always helped me in difficult situation and I feel sorry if I ever hurt you in my life. She was shocked and emotional. She hugged me and I was almost crying at that moment. She was so happy that she started calling my sister loudly who was sitting in another room to show her the perfumes that I gave her. After that we had a very emotional conversation for 20 minutes. I’m feeling satisfied now, finally I expressed my gratitude for her. It is like achieving a goal in my life and I am very happy with myself.
Chaya Cooper
By: Lone Bnot Sherut
Tags: National Service, Mothers, Israel, Change, Family

Chaya Cooper

As they say, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

I still remember vividly how my daughter Yael took her first step to making her home in Israel. We received a phone call towards the end of Yael’s year of seminary, asking how I would feel if she made aliyah and moved to Israel. I remember feeling awestruck and spend a few minutes gathering my thoughts and accessing my feelings. Now that it’s two years later, I can answer as follows: yes, I miss her like crazy and feel the distance in mileage, but when I gather my thoughts, I am so so proud of Yael’s decision. She is living her personal dream.

Yael spent her year working in the Yad Sarah program with seniors. Her work included assisting with activity programs and home visits to offer friendship and companionship to offset the feelings of loneliness on the elderly. She secured numerous friendships and the experience strengthened her as a person.

For me, I am just amazed and proud of her helping others at a time when she is facing challenges of living in a new country.

One of my challenges with Yael being a Bat Sherut is that I am not able to help her navigate the challenges she faces. I pray that others will be there for her and work with her with patience and kindness in helping her with planning and decisions. Letting go as a parent is one of the hardest parts of parenting. But then again there’s no manual for parenting.

My mantra is to love them always. Yael we are so proud of you and your decisions. I see how this experience has helped you develop confidence and finding purpose in every action. I couldn’t be happier for you!

Love, Mommy
We Put Too Much Pressure On The Maternal Bond
Tags: Daughters, Relationships, Mothers, Mothers And Daughters, Family

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

We’re one of the only species that gives birth and doesn’t immediately say “bye bye” to our offspring.

I’m obviously not suggesting we stop raising our children. But we can’t be surprised when they eventually have their own life.

When a kid leaves the house, parents are often referred to as “empty nesters”. There is a certain grief that some parents experience when they no longer have a child to care for. It often means loneliness and depression in response to the family dynamic changing.

As the only child of my family, I felt the sadness radiating from my mom from 4 hours away. I was her whole life for so long. And then I just left. Nothing dramatic, I just went to college. But it deeply changed our relationship.

I am frequently told by my mom that she doesn’t feel close to me. She doesn’t feel like I can talk to her or be my true self around her. She’s not completely wrong. I will always have a “mom filter” when talking to her. At the end of the day, I live 4 hours away. When I’m distressed, I usually turn to my boyfriend who I live with or other close friends in town. I know it’s not just a proximity issue. I’m just honestly closer to my boyfriend than I am to my mom. But she has it in her head that we need to be best friends.

I love my mom. But we are fundamentally different people. I absolutely want her in my life but I’m not overly eager to share every detail about it. And I don’t find that unreasonable.
Dada Art — Mama Art. The origin of the word dada is…
Tags: Dada, Painting, Creativity, Mothers, Art

Painting by John Diamond, M.D.

The origin of the word dada is disputed. I like Joseph T. Shipley’s: from DA, “Baby talk, imitative. The first two sounds an infant makes seem to be ma and pa, intake and output. Shortly thereafter come da, dad, daddy, the first inkling that thought’s being added to feeling. Hence da-da, the artistic movement.”

Dada, arising during World War I, was a protest “against this world of mutual destruction”[1] when “fear was in everybody’s bones.”[2]

And today, still mutual destruction, still fear in everybody’s bones. Seemingly even more so than a century ago.

We need art to allay our fears. And that was never the intention of Dada. As Hugo Ball, an early dadaist, stated, “For us, art is not an end in itself … but it is an opportunity for the true perception and criticism of the times we live in.”

It’s not perception we need — that we feel in our bones. We need art to help us to its alleviation — to find, to Know, Belovedness in “this world of mutual destruction.”

Let’s go back to the origin of the word dada — and earlier. What of art that had no thought at all — not even that which adds thoughts to feelings. Let’s go back earlier to mama — Mama art. Let’s have the art we so desperately need — coming to us not from the brain but only from the Soul — as a loving mother.

Art without thought — only Aspiration, to alleviate our deep, deep anguish.

What if museums would See that This is — and has always been — the primary Reason for all artistic endeavor?

To comfort us from fear, to bestow Belovedness. This is by far, by far, our greatest need. Not Dada — but MaMa.
🎊🎊 Vohurvod Mubarak Deemaa 🎊🎊
By: Vineet Kaul
Tags: Life, Mothers, Memories, Birthday, Wife

Namaskar Dee. How are you doing and how is your journey progressing? I keep thinking where you are at this given point in time.

Much like when you were struggling to stay afloat, I had lost a sense of what to ask Mahadev for, it is similar now as well. I don’t know what to ask him.

I do hope and pray everyday that you are on a path that is much better than what you suffered. That you are being blessed every second from the moment you left us in a dark and cold winter.

It is not the winter we loved so much, it a winter of cold dark days and long nights, there is no thaw in sight and no joy that the heart can feel.

It is only right to give you an update of how each one of us is doing in your absence.

Your heart is broken. She tries to be brave and divert attention but her restlessness gives it all away. She sleeps at 1–2 am now and is practically a vegetarian. Impossible, you must be thinking but yes, perhaps it does not matter to her now. Dadda got her the guitar you had asked for. She is using that and learning on her own. A few songs are now ready, perhaps she will play them to you or maybe at night has already done so. Her cupboard remains clean and she is now trying to take whatever space I had, for her books of course. Heartbroken and missing you. But I am confident that she will shine bright as a human being and you will be proud of what you started. That you will tell the Gods above, look she is my Kashvi. We love each other the most!
Eggs, transfer, monitoring, waiting, hope : motherhood
By: Tiziana Arnone
Tags: Love, Motherhood, Life, Mothers, Flash Fiction

real life fierce free verse fable

Vibrant leaves. I took the picture.

Fourth shot, double dose.

The first time has been an adventure.

The day of the transfer?

Snow and sciatica. Even a bit of fog. Up here in the North you can cut it with a knife. A grey blanket preventing wishes.

The second time? Back and forth, from an airport to another one and, after monitoring, quickly at home. And an injection at the airport, the time has come and punctuality is everything in these situations not only when you have to take a train, above all when you have a date with your life finding hard to reproduce itself.

And you, you have just to give it a tap. And every time you hope it will be the right one, that dealt well one.

The therapy of bombing for lazy follicles, to titillate.

The third time we were in the mountains. Levy and transfer to process.

And someone wound up dead to whom I cannot say goodbye.

Monitoring and then waiting, again.

The fourth time has just begun: a groovy protocol, a double massive ration, they call it. To redouble hope and phase shift and I will be so up that when I will fall, it will hurt more because waiting is letting go without monitoring, too much, just often. When necessary.

But this time, this time will be the right one.

I have a dog, yet.

Then I will get another one, if it doesn’t work.

Who knows if my body will hold the attack. I must then I can.

I bought a plenty of tissues since injections make me sensitive to every tiny thing.

I learnt to be punctual. Belly to pierce. Bruises to caress.

An arnica cream.

The grief of the body to let go.

That one of the heart not to listen to.

I will be mother despite eggs, levies and monitoring, just by the strength of my burning hope.
Who said Breastfeeding was easy!
Tags: Mothers, Breastfeeding, Feminism, Womanism, Parenting

Photo by Eibner Saliba on Unsplash

Isn't breastfeeding beautiful! The way our bodies just know what our babies need. A mothers milk nourishes our babies like nothing else! But this shit is haaaaaarrrrdT!!!!

Rarely do mothers talk about the difficulty and stress of breastfeeding. The ups are often paraded around, but what about the cons??!!? No one talks about the leaky boobs, the extremely sore and sometimes cracked nipples. The pain of mastitis! The long days. The sleepless nights, hormonal imbalances, the weird appetite, the lingering brain fog and much more.

No one mentions how draining, physically altering and emotionally exhausting breastfeeding can be. I'm here to say to all mothers, whether you breast feed for a day, two weeks, a month, or three years! You are SUPER!

The journey is beautiful and hard. It can feel lonely, and it gets very frustrating , even with the most supportive partner.

Whoever said breastfeeding was a breeze, they all LIED!!!!!

Cause this shit definitely ain’t easy peasy lemon squeezy.

To my super, badass milk producing goddesses:

· Be gentle with yourself 😊

· Remember, one day at a time

· You got this!

· Celebrate the small moments and victories

· You are wonderful, beautiful and exquisite

Here is a nice visual and auditory stimulation Tiny Desk concert to check out. Hope you enjoy!

“Black Coffee is a Detroit-based writer, and mother of two. She works with the city of Detroit Department of Workforce Development to train, upskill and advocate for hard to hire populations.”
The number of times you need to have sex to get pregnant
By: Kaveesh Mommy
Tags: Motherhood, Mothers, Pregnant, Pregnancy, Baby

The number of times you need to have sex to get pregnant Kaveesh Mommy Apr 9·2 min read

While some lucky couples get pregnant in the very first attempt, others might take more time, which may feel like forever. But did you know there is a science-backed frequency of sex which can help couples get pregnant, finds a new study.

​The study

On an average, couples have sex 78 times from the time they start trying to the time they get a positive result. These 78 times are spread over 158 days or about 6 months.

A study surveyed 1,194 parents and found that most couples have sex 13 times a month while they are trying to conceive. Though so much sex might sound like fun, but there come certain anxieties with trying to getting pregnant.

Many people have even admitted that having sex while trying to conceive feels like a chore. 43 per cent people felt pressure to conceive and feared they would never be able to do it.

​The best position to conceive

Some people believe conception depends on the sex position. The most popular position is missionary used by three-quarters of couples, followed by doggy style, which is used by 36 per cent of the people.

According to many experts, couples should not have sex more than once per day, while trying to conceive. Though they may think more sex means better chances of getting pregnant, but actually having sex too frequently can decrease the number of healthy sperm.

The conception rate has been higher in couples who have sex every one-two days.

The right time of the month to have sex to pregnant

Not every day is the same for women to conceive, as they have some days which are considered to most fertile. This fertile window includes five days before the ovulation and to the day of ovulation.

The two days you ovulate and the day of ovulation have the highest probability of conception. Having sex on these days gives you the greatest odds of conceiving.

Ovulation

During the ovulation, your ovary releases a mature egg. This egg makes its way down to the fallopian tube on its way to the uterus.

On this routine, the sperms most likely meet up the fertilized egg. The sperm can live for about five days inside a woman’s body. So, when trying to conceive, your goal should be to have live sperm in your fallopian tubes when you ovulate.

​How to know when you are ovulating

You can use an app or keep a calendar marking your menstrual cycle. Each cycle starts on the first day of your periods and ends a day before your next period starts.

Look for a midpoint of your cycle. If you have a 28 days cycle you will ovulate around day 14.
Home Is Betrayal
Tags: Home, Grandmother, Mothers, Family

I have always hated the tree outside my window.

It never knew what to do. It either swayed too much or too little. It housed too many ants. I have never seen fruit on it. Tonight, however, as its branches tap heavily against my window, I have more patience than usual. Perhaps because I know it will be the last time I hear it like this.

I should sleep.

She is going to wake me in a few hours.

“Prepare to go home” is all the explanation I got.

Prepare to leave her, to leave the life I knew and the tree I hated. I wondered how she could let go of me. It has been the two of us as far back as I can remember. She must have always known I was not hers to keep forever.

I put the last of my boxes in the car. I remember buying this one. My grandmother and I had debated its purchase with an Irish salesman looking on. She was on the side of efficiency and space; I was fighting for colors. When we finally paid for the suitcase, she smiled broadly at me. I had not won the argument; she gave in because I had dared to argue with her. She had been right. The suitcase couldn’t hold more than five pairs of shoes at once.

I turn towards the house, our house, and I wonder how long it will be before new memories suffocate the ones I already had.

My grandmother would not come down. She claims to be tired. This morning, we held each other for what seemed like forever and cried. Still, it had not seemed long enough. She does not want to seem reluctant to let me go. My grandmother had it all. Pride was no exception.

The sound of metal gates opening woke me up. I raised my head from the bag I was using as a pillow. I had been to this house before, but then I always knew when I would leave. Today, it looked bigger. Like an exaggeration of what it really is.

She is standing outside.

Although I hate to admit it, My mother is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. On its own, each of her facial features was not anything spectacular. Together, however, they created a likeness comparable to a Gainsborough painting.

She smiled at me; she was smiling for me.

My heart stopped just as the engine died.

“Boluwatife, Welcome home.”

Years from now, I would think about how those words made me feel. I would shiver in what my heart thinks to be a betrayal to the woman who raised me.

Right now, despite my stubbornness, I knew I had waited all this time to hear her say that to me.
How do I deal with an unexpected pregnancy?
By: Kaveesh Mommy
Tags: Motherhood, Mothers, Pregnant, Pregnancy, Moms

If you have or are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you aren’t alone. Nearly half of all pregnancies in the United States are unintended (source: CDC).

A missed period or seeing those two lines on a pregnancy test can be quite life-changing. If you are not deliberately trying to conceive, a positive pregnancy can leave you with a lot of feelings- fear, confusion, excitement and you may also need to make decisions soon.

An unplanned pregnancy can be overwhelming

Feeling angry to suddenly being aware of a tiny fetus growing inside you, an “unplanned” or a surprise baby or a pregnancy, safe to say, comes with its own set of shock and joys, for both sets of parents.

It can also be overwhelming to think or know what to do during this sensitive time. If you are going through the same right now and confused, here is some help:

Schedule an appointment

If you have just taken a pregnancy test and received the news, it is advised that you wait for a while and take another pregnancy test to confirm or reassure yourself. Whether or not you have decided to continue with the pregnancy, visiting a doctor would be good. He or she could advise you about the next steps and answer some of your doubts.

If you feel pregnancy is not suited for you at this point, remember you have options. Whether it is abortion, adoption or continuing with the pregnancy, the decision lies in the hands of the parents. Trust your gut feeling and proceed ahead.

Accept your feelings

Pregnancy is a life-changing decision and it is completely normal to be freaked out about the same even if you do want a baby. Feelings of grief, denial, surprise, shock, terror, depression and experiencing mood swings are normal. Many women experience negative feelings when they find out they are pregnant, or may not be able to establish a connection with their baby. This happens as well and it is not at all guilty or ‘bad’ to feel the same. Give yourselves time to deal with the pregnancy and admit the feelings. It’s the healthiest way to go about it.

Make a plan

As much of shocking news, pregnancy means you have to have a contingency plan ready and important decisions to take regarding yourself or your future baby. Keep all variables in mind before reaching a decision.

If you are already a parent to one, keep your child’s emotions in mind too.

If you plan to proceed with the pregnancy and find yourself in a fix about managing it all, remember that things will change, but they will also fall into place. Your baby is going to love you no matter what and all it needs is care and not a fancy school, house or money.

Gather support

Another poignant thing to remember is you are not alone in your battle. Big percentages of pregnancies globally are unplanned or come as a surprise and hence, the thing you need right now is support which will get you through. Talk to a trusted aide, friend, partner, or a counsellor who can help you. There are also many support groups available who can help you make the right choice.
She is Grace and Gone
Tags: Gratitude, Mothers, Single Moms, Christmas, Family

She is Grace and Gone

photo credit: Flickr

Hi Mom,

Christmas time is almost here in Los Angeles, and even though it won’t snow, it still feels like a holiday is coming. It’s about two in the morning, and I have a bit of a head cold, so this note may ramble a bit.

I was thinking about when I was six, I had to stay with the very religious neighbors across the street four nights a week because you worked late. I was angry that you couldn’t watch me. (But they did make green beans with bacon, so it wasn’t ALL bad.)

Somehow, I would always wake up in my bed at home in the morning.

That Christmas morning at 1:30 AM, I saw you from my room window unloading gifts from your car trunk, to place under the tree unwrapped, because you were tired, but not too tired to love me.

You said they were from Santa and I went along with the story. You and I opening presents and eating cinnamon rolls from the store. I think that year I made you a homemade card with a green tree on yellow construction paper.

I can’t remember why I used yellow.

Memories can be so random and particular. Do you remember the time I got hit by a car on my bicycle about two blocks from Walker Junior High? I flew over the handlebars in acrobatic fashion and ended up lying dramatically in the middle of the street. A small crowd formed and an ambulance came.

I remember looking up, and then you were there. You were shaking, but had a smile on your face, I’m sure you asked how I was or said something soothing, but all I can remember is your face. After a few stitches and a bandage, I got my favorite fried chicken for dinner and a puzzle toy from the Rite Aid.

Much later, you told me that when you saw the emergency vehicles from the top of the hill, you had to stop the car and let your friend Lynn drive because you couldn’t.

I wanted to let you know that lying there on the asphalt that I wasn’t scared.

I knew you were on your way to get me.

Like I said, memories are particular and random.

I don’t remember what time Aunt Pat called me, but I remember it was sunny outside, I was on the sidewalk watching the trees lean into the wind along Spalding Street. And then, I was on a plane, in a grey rental car on Highway 580, and finally to the house where you and Pat used to laugh and play Backgammon.

Your two cats were circling the rug in the kitchen, two stuffed animals with thin white feet, looking for something they lost and couldn’t find.

There were unworn clothes hanging in your closet with tags still on them. You were overjoyed to be as skinny as you were in your pageant days in Florida.

This is how you handled your diagnosis. Like everything, with a smile.
The Ones’
By: Patel Umesh
Tags: Love, Care, Respect, Mothers, Fathers

Yah..! You are right you just read “Ones’” not “Once” because

There are very very few things in this world that are included in the list of ones’.

In this world full of chaos, everybody gets only 2 ones’ in their life. And they are:

1.Mother

In today’s forward world don’t forget a mother who gave you the birth is your ones’, she was the one to nurture you for 9 months in her womb facing many problems but also with a ‘cute smile’ that shows how happy she is .!

A few lines for mother:

“When the world was against you there was one to help you that was no other but your mother” “When somebody makes you scare there was one to tell them ,Don’t you dare..! that was no other but your mother”

Mother is the only one for whom you never get old. It doesn’t matter how old you get but the care and love remain the same. When you place your head in her lap, you forget all your pains and sorrow and get recharged with positivity. so, always respect her with care and love. Because she is part of your ones’.

2.Father

A warrior who fights for the child’s future, and works to fulfill the child’s dream. He is the one facing many problems with a smile and a strong attitude of not giving up. He is the one to handle society, personal, professional and a social life with responsibilities. Sometimes the world only thanks mothers, but a father works equally as a mother does and must get equal respect.

A few lines for father:

“when your things were going wrong there was one still standing strong that was no rather then your father” “When you were scared of height there was one to hold you tight that was no rather then your father”

Father is the daughter’s first love and son’s first hero. To be a father it requires many sacrifices and courage to fulfill all responsibilities. Being a child the best secure place was his arms protecting you from the entire world. So, let's give him a same love and care you give to your mother. because these two ones’ jointly make you and your life.

Understand the importance of ones’ in your life and never miss a single chance to take care of them and love them.