Angry Women Will Change The World
By: Dilan Ustunyagiz
Tags: Gender, Feminism, Gender Equality, Anger, Equal Rights

MortuusSolani via deviantart.com

BBC is interviewing Jameela Jamil for her “I weigh” movement which is criticizing the self-hatred over women’s looks perpetuated by the media. The movement successfully caused Instagram banning the promotion of laxative diet products. And the interviewer asks her: “But you use very extreme language, is that necessary? I mean you said for instance of the Kardashians, “their pockets are lined with the blood and diarrhea of teenage girls” obviously referring to the fact that some of these products have a laxative effect.”

I tried to capture what in her language is “extreme” while she is only honestly communicating what she thinks is wrong. I have never seen men, specifically white men, being questioned on their language. But somehow there is always something about the way women communicate, BUT ONLY WHEN she is standing up. This is something I personally come across a lot a well. When I talk about feminism, all of a sudden, I am an angry feminist woman. To me, I am just a woman who is talking about equality in a passionate way. But then people often think, I should be less angry if I want to advocate for equality. They always leave me thinking:

I was not even angry but just excited to talk about my passion. Even if I am angry because the world is not equal, why are you so offended as long as I am not treating you (or is it treating you? Are either the idea of equality or a woman standing up treating you and your norms?)

Then I remembered the work of Liz Plan, an author and a journalist, “The transformative power of women’s anger”. And when I search more on why on earth women’s anger is so offending, not much but I have found some sources and tried to gather them to understand the issue more.

Remember Selena Williams at US Open. After a loss, she raised her voice, jabbed her finger at the umpire demanding an apology with the most mature language a one can speak with while angry and/or disappointed. Sounds about all right and even way too mature for a person who is disappointed and/or angry considering other examples. But somehow it got backlashed. “She absolutely melted down.” one journalist says. WHAT MELT DOWN? (Later Serena Williams’ claims of sexism in the US Open final have been backed by the governing body of women’s tennis.) Meanwhile some male tennis players’ anger has been perceived so passionate that they had been the theme of some advertisements.

Angry black man is viewed as a criminal; angry white has a civic virtue. Anger has a racial dynamic for sure. However, regardless of where we are, the anger is gendered, says Soraya Chemaly in her extremely resourceful TED talk. “Culture after culture, anger is reserved as a moral property to boys & men.” Dr. Britney Cooper, an author and associate professor at Rutgers University also points out how people react differently depending who the anger is coming from. When a white man gets angry, that is passionate, something we should reckon with and listen to. When a woman gets angry, she is historical, crazy, being emotional and not having a good grasp of reality. And when we add a racial piece to that, Dr. Cooper adds, that is amplified even more. Black women are seen as angry from the moment they walk into a room. Even if only because they are simply not smiling.

“People are more likely to get angry at women for being angry, whether we are at home, school, work or political arena. Anger confirms masculinity, and it confounds femininity. So, men are rewarded for displaying it and women are penalized for doing the same.” Soraya Chemaly

But why it is so offending when a woman gets angry? Is it because women’s anger is powerful? If it is so, why? Why we are discouraged taking women’s anger, marginalized, vulnerable people’s anger seriously and even teaching them to abstain from it? An author Rebecca Traister points out that all movements started with angry woman at their start and their anger have been propellant in so many social moves: Labor movement, civil rights movement, gay rights movement and so on. “It is like animal recognition”, she adds, “how powerful centuriated & marginalized people’s race can be at the situation of inequality & injustice.”

I was still thinking, but why is that. However, when we go back to gender stereotypes theory, no wonder why it is like that. Historically women are expected to show communal attributes such as caring, sensitive, honest, understanding, emphatic, while men are expected to show agentic attributes such as passionate, doer, aggressive, competitive. So, there is in fact no surprise, when a women or marginalized people get angry, which is an agentic attribute, it got backlashed because it is against society’s expectations. We women are taught to be emphatic and understanding no matter what, in our romantic, personal, work, every kind of relationships. We teach girls to abstain from anger, endure their feelings in silence. I don’t see many girls punching toys to express their anger like boys are allowed to do. Which ends up so many women carrying the emotional labor for all. Which is maybe one of the reasons why we have way more women burning out than men.

WHAT IF;

What if we simply just start listening and approach everyone’s anger with the same curiosity because everyone’s anger is pointing our what’s broken.

What if instead of telling girls to abstain from anger, abstain from the emotion that best protects us from injustice, instead we develop emotional competence for all, for both boys & girls.

BBC News HARDtalk. (2019) Jameela Jamil: Actor & activist [video] https://www.facebook.com/

Chemaly, S. (2018). The power of women’s anger [TED talk] Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/

Iweigh. Retrieved from: https://www.instagram.com/i_weigh/

Plank, L. (2018). E11 The transformative power of women’s anger [video] Retrieved from: https://www.facebook.com

Traister, R. (2018) Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger. Simon & Schuste

#gender #womensanger