Moon Work-Waning Moon Day 9
By: Leigh Larue
Tags: Personal Growth, Healing, Moon, Personal Development, Magic

While doing my best to meditate and earth earlier, the question ‘What am I still holding onto?’ came to me. I don’t want the new moon to come before I’ve released the baggage from my past. I’m hearing the message that I still haven’t let it all go, and I guess I can’t move onto the next chapter until I have. I am so ready to turn the page of this long and treacherous saga. On one hand, my life has been deceptively easy. On the other it’s been a war. There’s this quote that I can’t find for the life of me, but it refers to not forgetting to honor those who have struggled with and overcome internal battles, as the world tends to only recognize those who have fought outer ones. Mine, like many, has been internal. And, internal battles generally lead to outer ones, as what we think, speak, and believe we create. The hologram mirrors our internal state. When we look at it from this perspective, there’s nothing more important than setting our inner compass straight.

I drew four animal spirit cards for myself yesterday, and one of them, ‘Cow Spirit’ had an awesome message. Here’s a snippet: ‘Pay attention to how you nourish your mind, body, and spirit, because right now you are wobbling around like a new born calf on its unsteady legs. Perhaps you’ve been spending too much time distracting yourself on the internet, or choosing to eat food that is not healthy. Whatever it is, you’re being nudged to assess how you are looking after your needs. Remember, the universe has a way of reflecting back to you events and conditions that match how you treat yourself. Cow Spirit reminds you that the universe wants to give you the very best but needs you to do your part to participate and nourish your well being. Heed her message, and everything will shift in your favor!’ Maybe you might need to hear this message now as well.

I’ve recently gone vegan after just being a vegetarian for 25 years. Instead of the usual sugary suspects, I’m finding delicious vegan cookies and chocolate at Natural Grocer, Sprouts, and Trader Joe’s. And, because I’m traveling around in my van (with my sweet Kitty, as you’ll see in the image), I don’t have a kitchen setup. It’s making it all too easy to eat out and to grab the healthiest fast food I can, like Subway & Chipotle. Ultimately, I’m still kind of eating like crap. I know this needs to change, and so for today’s Waning Moon challenge, I’m called to cut it all out for a few days. As in a water fast. This will put me fasting on the last two days of the waning moon plus the new moon. The waxing moon begins Tuesday, and I’ll be doing two weeks of new beginnings!

So, during my water fast I plan on making it as spiritual an experience as possible, with saging, meditation, more letter-writing, shadow work, and forgiveness. I’m trying to think of what else I need to release. What have been my main life issues? Waiting for permission to live my life, learning to speak up for myself and speak my truths, and waiting for what I want to come to me. Also, I’ve always put way too much emphasis on food, as it has always been my primary comfort in life. I watched a video today by Kati Morton titled ‘How to overcome childhood emotional neglect’. That’s funny, because just last night I found myself thinking that my parents’ neglect was completely unintentional. I know they loved me, and they gave me everything I needed. They did the best they could with their own internal trauma and any external drama going on. Anyway, trying to escape reality through food and spending money have been my coping mechanisms. Since I’m doing this active healing work, it’s come to the fore that my money issues are probably mostly due to subconsciously mistaking money for love since I never got the love I needed. I was showered with money and always got what I asked for. It makes complete sense.

Sometimes we think we’ve healed from an experience, but it could still be running in the background dictating our current actions and choices. I was told that the tumultuous ten year on and off relationship I had with someone is still affecting me. I thought I had forgiven him, but instead, I think I just moved on. He’s getting released this weekend. Gone for good! For whoever is reading this, I hope you’re inspired to ‘clean your closet’ of all that still haunts you. Maybe even cleaning your literal closet would make room for the new to enter your life. Have fun, and happy clearing!