Lessons I (un)learned in 2020
Tags: Lifestyle, Philosophy, Lessons Learned

Unsplash image by Dorrell Tibbs

Just like everyone else, I had made a list of things to learn as a part of my resolution for the year 2020. I did succeed till early March post which life took a different turn for many of us— advent of the lockdown. When there was a huge shift in ‘business as usual’ from outdoor to indoor, I was apprehensive of continuing my yearly to-do list.

Initially I was uncomfortable in taking my entire life online. However, just like many others I had to unlearn the ‘old ways’ of doing things and learn to coexist with this sudden digital transformation. This experience along with some acquired free time allowed me to think about taking on new challenges and pushing the yearly to-dos to later ‘normal’ years.

“You must unlearn what you have learned” — Yoda

2020 is anyway the year of firsts. I have never done conscious unlearning. I started jotting a few things which could be unlearned in this year. Albeit, not all of them were easy to let go off as they included beliefs I witnessed around since forever. Here are some of the things I’m most grateful to have unlearned:

YOU HAVE TO STAY HAPPY — All my life I have seen people chase happiness. I had myself fallen prey for this belief. I would set milestones and after achieving them would be happy. This happiness was short lived. Soon I had new milestones and the nervousness and anxiety around achieving them. What I unlearned here:

Base happiness on milestones — You need to truly experience all emotions to be perpetually happy.

BEING ALONE IS BEING LONELY — I am a single child and an extrovert; so it was a necessity to have fun alone. However, the societal norms didn’t let me allow that. It always taught me being in groups makes one feel powerful and that is happiness. But then during several times in this year I was alone and extremely comfortable with it. What I unlearned here:

Being alone is not okay— You can find comfort in being by yourself. It gives you time to reflect and live as you want.

BEING BUSY / OVERWORKING IS HONORABLE — While so many of us had a genuine increase in the workload; I could still somehow easily manage my workload. A few folks around me boasted about being busy during the lockdown as if it was a good thing. It made me question the kind of work I did. But gradually I learned that it was okay to finish your work on time. What I unlearned here:

I have to be busy for the sake of feeling important and valuable.

ITS TOO LATE — I started learning French this year. While I agree that kids have greater grasping power of language; but its definitely not too late. What I unlearned here:

Right time has gone; right time is yet to come — Right time is NOW.

YOU CANNOT COMPLETE YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION — New year and birthday resolutions have earned a very bad name. Everyone is under the impression that such resolutions aren’t taken seriously. However, that’s not true. If you have attainable and realistic resolutions, you can achieve them. What I unlearned here:

New years resolution is blah — I took a resolution of reading 12 books this year. I completed it (so proud of myself!)

I AM NOT OKAY MONETARILY – This year has only shown me to be kind. Unlike so many, I could work from the comfort of my home and didn’t have to step out until absolutely necessary. What I unlearned this year:

I need more money – I don’t need more money. What I need is to practice more gratitude for the life I have.

This year is almost coming to an end and it has fundamentally changed a lot of us. This concept of unlearning has never been more relevant. In conclusion, learning is easy; unlearning is hard. To know what to unlearn, you need to be aware of your self, beliefs, and daily habits. If you don’t unlearn, you don’t change. If you don’t change, you indubitably freeze your mind. And a frozen mind cannot learn new things and you will have a hard time to adapt. Science is the witness that those who can’t adapt; don’t survive.