Never Give Up Without A Fight
By: Ronn Hanley
Tags: Keep Going, Perserverance, Trust, Writing Advice, Writing

Never Give Up Without A Fight

The day I stepped away from writing (this would be almost 7 years ago) it was with the deliberate intention of never putting another word on paper.

Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash

I was fed up with the stops and starts, the mixed advice, the ‘almost were’ projects, the half-finished manuscripts and my own sense of ennui. It felt like there was never enough time to write. And the worst part was — I convinced myself that writing was a frivolous waste of the time.

Somehow I got the idea I should spend every waking moment building servers or learning Cisco networking or studying for certification tests or, well, anything other than writing. Doing those tasks was more ‘real’ than writing could ever be…

It was a difficult and fairly negative time for me. I’ve read enough from other writers to know that many of us have gone through even worse while building their careers. I mean, let’s be honest, there are more reasons not to write than there are reasons to write.

Most ‘reasons’ are excuses. Some are legit.

A legitimate reason would be losing a job or a true family crisis. My experience tells me anything else is doubt masquerading as purpose.

I learned the hard way that if you’re meant to write the stress of avoiding or ignoring it will eat you alive.

How did I get over myself?

For years I ignored my feelings. I told myself all kinds of stories about how it didn’t matter if I wrote or not. I reasoned that no one was waiting for anything I’d produce anyway.

The vast emptiness that sometimes overwhelmed me HAD to have some other source, right? It sure as hell couldn’t be happening because I wasn’t putting words on paper. That was too silly to consider.

I believe I’ve mentioned before that depression is an issue for me. I assumed the emptiness was just another bout with my old enemy. It took a while to comprehend that not writing removed one of my coping mechanisms.

The printed word (reading and writing) helped me fight back.

In a way, at least for me, writing is medicine. Every time I forget that I suffer.

Since I’m stubborn, realizing the issue and then doing something about it was a real battle. The person I’d asked to be my mentor bailed on me. No one offered encouragement or even noticed. That meant it was my problem to solve.

I was forced to take a hard look at why I loved writing so much. I also had to overcome the internal argument that writing was a stupid waste of time.

Pro tip #1 — You can only ignore your feelings for so long. Eventually your body will get fed up with the lies and do something nasty to you to get your attention.

I won’t go into what happened, but trust and believe my body’s response got my attention in a major way. It was time to get my shit together.

I made a deal with myself which went a little like this — Produce just one book this year, get it published and into the hands of at least one reader. If I can do that then I’ve proven writing isn’t a waste of time. I also promised that if I kept hemming and hawing and produced nothing in that year, I would drop this forever and do something else.

I am often scattershot in my approach to solving my own problems. I tried meditating on my own. I tried writing random pieces and creating a daily journal. I tried joining writing groups. I tried getting help from other writers I knew.

I didn’t start to get any traction until I found some things on YouTube that resonated.

Remember, I was searching for a type of internal approval. My struggle was more than just the mechanics of crafting stories and books. I needed to feel that it was ‘okay’ for me to write!

Pro tip #2 — All of the pie in the sky motivational BS on the planet means nothing if YOU don’t believe in your own dream.

It took a while but I finally found a few videos that sunk in and felt right. One of the first was a video featuring Les Brown, Eric Thomas, Will Smith and some others. The link to the video is right here. The other one featured a speech from Sly Stallone and that link is here.

Why these two videos?

I wish I had a single coherent answer for you, I really do. Something about them struck a deep chord.

I watched them twice a day that first year. When I woke up and right before I went to bed.

Finally it sank in.

The message was clear — NEVER GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT. The words and energy were correct. I’ve always loved Les Brown and Eric Thomas. I didn’t know Will Smith was doing motivational stuff but his words were awesome too.

So I listened to them every day and after a while I took small actions every day.

I spent time on my rebounder. I walked until the sweat stung my eyes. I started doing morning pages again. I wrote and published two books instead of one. I even sold some…

Going through all that gave me back the one thing I was missing — my own approval.

I still listen to them now several years later. Give them a try and see what you think.

Never give up without a fight!

Struggling with feelings is natural for creatives. Every one of us go through it once or a hundred times. Following your heart is difficult every time. If you’re brave enough it’s worth the effort.

Feel like you’re at a crossroads on your own journey?

I wish I had all the answers for you but I’m only one person. All I can do make suggestions. Like Morpheus said — “I can only show you the door; you’re the one who has to walk through.”

What do I suggest?

Before you decide you’re done with your dream, give it one last honest try.

Finish that book (novel, poem, screenplay, article) this year. Spend time crafting several short stories, participate in NANOWRIMO next November. Make friends with another writer. DO something.

Write something that matters to you. Work hard to keep your internal editor and self-limiting detractors at bay. Keep in mind YouTube can be your friend…

Write to please yourself. If you can do that and have fun with it, you may puncture your own doubt.

Should you choose to quit that’s fine. Put it down, walk away and turn your energy to something that matters to you.

You must be clear though. Have you actually tried or did you just give up? Don’t sell yourself short, that way lies madness. Also, never give up on being creative out of fear of how someone else might view you.

And for God’s sake don’t give up on writing because you feel that it’s a waste of time.

Even if you only ever write for yourself, that’s worth the effort right there.

Good Luck!

Peace

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