Abortion is None of Our Business
By: Ramona Grigg
Tags: Politics, Abortion, Motherhood, Feminism, Advocacy

Abortion is None of Our Business

Why Alabama got it wrong

Yesterday the Alabama senate passed a near-total abortion ban, making it a felony for doctors to perform abortions in any instance other than a serious health risk to the mother. (There is some question about who decides what constitutes a “serious health risk”, since Alabama apparently doesn’t trust either the mother or her doctor to make decisions affecting her life. Would they have to decide by committee? Would it take hours? Days? Could the mother die before they get to it? Did they even talk about this?)

I’m absolutely 100% pro-choice, so I’ll get right to it: I’m on the side of every woman who chooses abortion as a solution to what she considers a problem in her life. I don’t need to know her story. I don’t need to insert myself in her decision-making. I don’t need to be judge and jury as she goes through the act of aborting a fetus.

I do need to support her decision against those who chant “Abortion is murder” and “Baby killer!” I need to let her know her worth is not any more, any less because her choices about motherhood are different from someone else’s.

I can do this without hesitation, without equivocation, and I do it as a woman who had to work at conceiving two of my three children. I never had to consider abortion as a solution for an unwanted pregnancy, but I didn’t need to in order to understand.

I can do this because it’s not about me. My own life, my own feelings, my own sense of right and wrong, has nothing to do with any woman’s decision to abort.

So let me speak directly to those who throw out that phrase “pro-life”, as if aborting a fetus is the be-all,end-all of life as we know it here on earth. If you insist on inserting yourself into any woman’s life, deciding for her that she must carry a fetus to term, you can’t, in all that’s holy, stop there.

If you force a woman to bear a child she doesn’t want, it should be on you to insure health, wealth, and happiness to both. The real sin is in turning your back on her once your interference brings about the outcome you were hoping for.

Children don’t raise themselves. Women don’t suddenly become Mother Mary at the birth. Real life doesn’t suddenly become wondrous or heavenly on the appearance of a baby.

You can’t possibly understand the factors in a woman’s life that would bring her to a decision to abort. It’s clear you don’t care. That’s how you lose your case. You don’t care.

We could spend the rest of our days defining life: When does it start? What makes it precious? Who gets to decide? None of it helps the woman who finds herself pregnant with an unwanted child.

You need to stop. I’m a mother who loved that life — reveled in it — and I’m begging you to stop.

Too many of you have used abortion as the single issue bringing you to the voting booth, and, for the most part, your choices have been piss-poor. You’ve put people in power who are intent on controlling our lives from birth to death, who are working to deconstruct every comfort, every gain, every protection, and you’ve done it without any deep thought beyond putting an end to abortion.

Abortion won’t end. Closing clinics, forcing women to wait, to get permission, to endure indoctrination — none of it will stop abortions. Praying won’t stop abortions.

You know what affects abortions? Free, readily available contraceptives for both men and women, economic stability, sex education, free or inexpensive child care, work schedules allowing for parenthood, a promise to value every single life, regardless of color, creed, or nationality. All of that. In many cases abortion is more than a right — it’s a necessity. Whatever the reason, the woman and her doctor get to choose. You don’t.

You must know by now that Planned Parenthood provides essential services to millions of women and families who wouldn’t otherwise have access to obstetric or gynecological health care. You know that abortion/abortion education is an infinitesimal part of their work. You choose to believe the lies. You cheer when clinics close. You need to stop.

If you voted for Donald Trump or any Republican only because you thought they would bring an end to Roe v Wade, you need to recalculate. How is the sanctity of life better under them? If your personal life is okay, what you do about the suffering of others under this regime is now your obligation. It’s on you to prove all life is precious.

If you can watch poverty programs disappear and health care become increasingly for-profit, knowing it’s the children who will be harmed most, you need to tell me how you can do that and still insist you care about the child.

If you can watch mothers and children being torn apart, separated, because the mother dared to want a better life in America for her kids — if you can watch that and do nothing, you’ve lost any chance at staking a claim for decency.

Life begins in the womb but can thrive only in a culture where kindness and humanity are the norm. If we were ever there, we’re swiftly moving away. You must see that. If you care more about fetuses than you do about the lives of people trying to exist, to survive, in a world turning against them, you need to stop. This can’t be who you really are.