Confessions of a Sorority Girl…
By: Maddy Brown-Piña
Tags: Sorority, Pregnant, College

When you get pregnant. To all of my tried and truest friends that came from my college journey and experience — this one’s for you.

Does anyone in their early 20s ever plan to get pregnant? But seriously, asking for myself because I most certainly did not plan on it. Low and behold, here I am today with a two year old, married, and living life.

When you’re a sorority girl, you pride yourself on high standards. I will “follow” all of the rules, so I don’t get sent to standards or get my chapter kicked off campus. I will succeed academically, so I have something to combat the “all sorority girls are dumb and drink” stereotype. I will look like I have my life together because, honestly, that looks a lot better than the alternative. To be pregnant and be in a sorority that is full of women who got in because they are the best at appearances and judgement? Unheard of.

But there I was in March staring at a pee stick that read pregnant. Oh good lord my world has never been flipped upside down so fast.

I had spent the last three years of my life giving little thought to responsibility and avoiding the fact that at the end of college my life would be filled with a big girl job, bills, and responsibility. I was focusing on “living my BEST life”. Binge drinking 5/7 nights a week, eating food at almost all hours of the day, and finding pleasure in gossip. Oh, how we love to gossip.

I had reached the top of my climb. I had been elected “president” of my sorority and was doing great things. I had been here for 4 months — had the time of my life and felt untouchable. That one day in March, it was over. I made the decision to keep it a secret — there was only 2 more months of school. How hard could that be? Oh, and I lived in the sorority house. Instead, I would turn into the spotlight of the gossip, the center of speculation.

Turning down a night out at the bars for 2 month straight does not sit well with others. Being asleep by 9 at night does not sit well with others. Leaving every weekend and barely being present does not sit well with others… or, well, your roommates. I became the talk of their gossip and speculation. Conversations about me and the idea of me being pregnant consumed their night at the bar. My personal belongings had become open game to snoop through. Something was wrong with me and they made it their mission to find out. Not one conversation was had with me about why my behavior had changed. All their sleuthing was behind closed doors, but I guess that’s what makes it sleuthing.

Even after coming out and sharing my news, I was overwhelmed with “love” and “excitement” when in my presence. Behind closed doors, I was still talked about as if what happened to me was a disappointment and a shame. Some people still couldn’t fathom why I had let it happen or how I could be successful. This sorority was my home for four years of my life. It was filled with people who rallied around one another during hard times and who strived to be the best. Some of my greatest friendships were created in this group. The amount of love that everyone shared for one another was inspiring.

I could sit here and speculate why some of my “closest” friends reacted to my last 2 months and my pregnancy the way they did, but I can’t know and won’t ever know. I only know my experience. The fact that I was apart of a group of 70 women that prided themselves on empowering other women, lifting women up, supporting other women to be successful, and I was met with hate, doubt, and judgment. This speaks to the culture that these groups are built on and continued to be built on. Outward appearance is important and following the rules of society is a must. Any deviance from this sets a person up for failure and is fair game for judgment of what your life will amount to. “Personal decisions” that do not follow the status quo are not met with the same abundance of love and support as “outside factors”.

And that’s the hot tea, sister.