Finding Your Tribe
By: Eason Wu
Tags: Friends, Life Lessons, Friendship, Life

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

- Jim Rohn

You’ve probably heard this quote about a million times already, but similar to most inspirational quotes, have you actually done anything to put it into action? Have you reflected on how it applies to your life?

Your tribe is the closest few friends that you spend time with. The people that you can rely on, the people that you trust, and the people that will (likely) be with you for the rest of your life. These aren’t the convenient friends at work or school, these are the ones that you would start a life long project with. The people you would be willing to work with on something that means a lot to you personally.

The Importance of a Good Tribe

Photo by Daan Stevens on Unsplash

Having a good tribe is extremely beneficial for your long term success. If you want to be a good person but the people you spend time with aren’t, then what do you think will happen? You’ll become just like them, because what you see is what you will become.

A helpful tribe will bring you closer to your end goals and help you become better than you could ever be alone. A bad tribe will lead to negative compounding effects.

Share your goals and ambitions with your tribe often. But also tell them where you are spending your time .Your tribe keeps you accountable and ambitious. Especially in the hardest times, your tribe should be there to help support you in what you are doing. But they should also call you out when you aren’t fulfilling your potential or doing what you could be doing. A good tribe is much more beneficial than you will first expect.

Everyone in life is equally incompetent at a lot of things, but together you can make one comptetent and complete person, like pieces in a puzzle. Together you can grow and become extraordinary.

You can also rely on your tribe. When shit hits the fan they will be there to help you through whatever it is. Going through these kinds of things without a tribe will make it much harder.

Photo by Charlie Hammond on Unsplash

How to Find Your Tribe

No one succeeds alone — finding the right people is more beneficial the earlier you find them. But how do you find the right people?

Obviously, this will take time. The number one tip is to be patient. You won’t find your tribe one day all of a sudden, they take time to grow, like trees. If you rush the growth of one it won’t end up as nice if you were to just let it happen naturally.

There is obviously no cookie-cutter solution to finding the people in your tribe but there should be some things to look out for.

Are they happy for you? This applies for all friends. Your friends should be there to celebrate each other. A win for them is a win for you and vice-versa. If you ever doubt that they are truly happy for you when you do something amazing, re-evaluate.

How is time spend with them? You should definitely have good times with your friends and tribe but if most of the time your spend with them only entertaining? When you spend time with them does everyone grow in the long run?

Would you start a life long with them? If you wouldn’t want to work on a long term project with them, ask why? Whatever the reason is, make a judgement of whether it’s due to an internal reason within yourself or an external reason with them.

Do you keep each other accountable? Do you think they push you enough or have high standards for you and themselves? If you seek to be ambitious, surround yourself with people who are equally or preferably even more ambitious than you are.

Are they there when you need them? Would you be able to rely on them for something important? Do you trust them? Do they seem to be available for you and others or are theymore self-centered?

Do they align with your values and long-term goals? The people you surround yourself with should have similar values as you. Are you both striving to achieve similar things? Make a list of your core values and see if they respect or align with them.

Do you get along with them? If you don’t get along with them then why should you spend a lot of time with them? A tribe should become your closest friends that you like and want to spend time with.

Are they honest with you? This goes for anyone you meet, if you can’t trust them to be honest and open with you then when can you ever trust them? However, sometimes people may feel uncomfortable to share things so as always, be patient. Maliciously lying is a completely different thing though.

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash

Key Takeaways