Dear White Men: Your Defense of Whiteness is Astounding
By: Alexandra Tsuneta
Tags: White Privilege, Equality, White Supremacy, BlackLivesMatter, Advice

Dear White Men: Your Defense of Whiteness is Astounding

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

In August of 2019, I wrote an article titled, “Things White People Need to Stop Saying,” where I outlined culturally insensitive things that white people say like, “spirit animal”, “reverse racism,” and “the n-word”. This piece, despite never being chosen for further distribution, has amassed over 15k views, and because of that I often get responses from, mainly white men, about how racist my article is.

Spoiler alert, white dudes: you cannot be racist against white people. Prejudice, sure. Racist, no sir. There’s a huge difference.

Recently, a man named Jason commented that my article was “racist and divisive,” but when I asked him what was racist about my article he went off on a tangent of nonsense: my article was racist, against him, as a white man who wants to be able to say whatever he wants despite the possibility of offending others. For example, in my article, I explained that the phrase, “sis” is more than a blood bond for Black women, “These terms describe more than a blood bond; they describe kinship, pain, shared values, cultural norms, histories, suffering, and experiences,” experiences that white people do not share. Jason was upset, “What will I call my sister?!” he chimed.

Now, despite a white man complaining that he can no longer call his sister “sis” being kind of hilariously ridiculous, there is a larger issue at hand with these comments which is this: white men will become defensive of anything they deem as an attack against whiteness. Even simply being called white is offensive to them, I recently saw a response from a white man on an article directed towards white people that said, “White? Is that all we are to you.” Yes, David, that is what you are. Being offended at being called white is a real tell-tale sign that white people have always been oppressors, and now that they are being bothered for the first time, they’re really losing their minds.

Calling a Black person Black is not offensive.

Calling an Asian person Asian is not offensive.

Calling a white person white is not offensive.

I could go on, but you get the point, the only group that is offended by being called what they are is white people because they have never been grouped together as minority groups have been. America is a caste system that as been around as long as America has existed, we are all boiled down to our race in order to distinguish where we fit in and what privileges we are afforded. White people have either chosen to be ignorant to this fact or are privileged enough to actually be ignorant.

I often see the argument from white men in regards to articles like this that say, “If you switched this around to any other race it would be offensive,” which, yes Chad, you are right, that would be offensive, that would be considered racism. However, as I said before, you cannot be racist against white people.

Reverse racism does not exist because it ignores the fundamental question of who holds more power and who affords more privileges because of the color of their skin. Reverse racism completely ignores the systemic aspects of racism like underfunding primarily Black schools, the rate of incarcerated Black people in America, being pulled over because of the color of your skin, etc. Reverse racism is something white people say in order to feel oppressed. However, white people are not oppressed, they have never been oppressed, and I often hear that argued as well, by primarily white men.

The argument I hear when I say that white people are not oppressed is this one, “But what about the Jews,” to which I feel the need to explain to you that not all Jews are white, we come in all colors from Black Jews to some Ashkenazi European Jews. Also, anti-semitism is not about Black or White, one of the primary reasons Jews are persecuted in America is that we can “assimilate” into white culture. However, as Emma Green states, for The Atlantic, “They [anti-semites] make it clear that Jews are not included in their vision of a perfect, white, ethno-state.”

Thus, we can all understand that reverse racism does not exist.

White people are not oppressed.

And, becoming defensive of anything deemed as an attack on whiteness is, indeed, racist.

In Caste, by Isabel Wilkerson, she explains, “The price of privilege is the moral duty to act when one sees another person treated unfairly. And the least that a person in the dominant caste can do is not make the pain any worse.” This excerpt is one of the reasons why I find these arguments so infuriating, I see them every single day, I see white people calling Black people racist for simply talking about racism and it is fundamentally wrong. “The least that a person in the dominant caste can do is not make the pain any worse,” there has to be at least some semblance of a realization of how much pain you are inflicting on others when you make these statements or when you argue or try to explain back to us what we already know.

How can you be better?

If you’ve read this far and you are one of these people I can only assume that you want to be better and for you, please read these last paragraphs carefully. And, if you are white, and you know somebody that needs to hear these words, it is your responsibility to tell them, not the responsibility of BIPOC to educate or explain anything to white men that consistently oppress them.

First and foremost, please stop. You are choosing to take up space, you are choosing to make these comments, you are choosing to be ignorant of the fact that you are ignorant. Your ignorance is your own and you are responsible for your ignorance, you have every single ability to not make these comments, to be better, and to educate yourself.

Speaking of education, please read these books:

I am not going to overwhelm you with books because there are so many others to read, but start here, begin by educating yourself, and go from there.

Understand that your words hold power and meaning, what you may think as a quick quip could potentially truly harm somebody. Also, please be aware that if you are offended by being called white, if you are offended at white people being lumped into a group, if you are offended by anything attacking white people, chances are you are racist. Being called racist feels like the worst attack that can be said, but you are racist, every white person benefits from systemic racism, it is your job to actively be anti-racist, and making comments like these just reaffirms your white fragility and white supremacy.

Lastly, listen. Truly listen to others, read these pieces, and listen, soak the words in, and let them sit with you before choosing to respond. Listening and learning how to be better is your responsibility. Educating yourself, understanding your privilege, listening, and learning from the experiences of others is your responsibility.

Changing your perspective is a difficult task but it is very much possible. With effort, diligence, and an open mind I believe that people can be better. Understanding humanity, learning about history, and bettering yourself is something that we should all be doing on a daily basis. By starting here, you can take steps forward to do and be better.