With Every Broken Bone, I Swear I Lived
By: Luthfi Akbar
Tags: Leadership, Aiesec, Blog, Personal Story, Team

It’s almost a year after my team and I went to the team closing last year. I was the head of a local committee in AIESEC last year. It was all started in the middle of October 2018 when a bucket of water poured over me. A little bit of explanation, but In AIESEC, we announce the elected person for a specific position by pouring water over that person. I was all soaked, feeling excited yet scared of the things I will face later when my term started, which will be started months later, in February 2019, so there were still many things to prepare after being elected.

Announcement process

First thing first, catching up on the things I still lacking. Coming from a digital marketing background, I had no direct experience in other areas, so I need to learn from people who were handling those areas directly. It wasn’t easy and took a very long time to get the ideas, at least the basic ones.

The second thing and, to be honest, the most exciting thing was to find my team members. In AIESEC, the organization’s executive board consists of the head, usually called the president, and the vice presidents. At the time, I needed to find 15 of them (yes, fifteen vice presidents). Now, to think why I needed that many vice presidents get me confused (but that’s okay! as we learn along the way). Long story short, I recruited all of my vice presidents in the middle of December 2018. 16 different people with 16 different heads and ideas in a team, “This gonna be fun!” I thought.

Everything was good; every one set up; I was ready to start the term; We (as 100+ members of AIESEC in my local entity) were ready to rock the term, and the AIESEC new year finally come. On February 1st, 2019, the new term started. I was officially the local head of AIESEC in my local entity. We were all in our honeymoon phase with our new positions and did everything we could to execute all the plans we have made before. Everyone seems to do a perfect job until one day in March 2019, we got big news that could threaten our entity’s existence. Started from small problems accumulated from the prior years, I never imagined that it would explode in my term as the head of my local entity.

All the excitement that we had collapsed. All the dreams that we had gone. All the laughs that we created vanished at that moment. Suddenly, there were so many things we couldn’t do instead of what we can do. We were scared. We were confused. When running as the head, my vision was to make all of my members feel fulfilled with themselves in any condition they might face. And it was ironic that I lose myself at the time.

My team’s most significant responsibility was to make the rest of the members get the best experience with their limitations we had back then. I can say it was the black period of my experience being the head. There were months when my vice presidents and I went to our office for weekly meetings almost gave up. Shouts and tears were unavoidable during that period. We have gone mad, and it wasn’t easy. It feels like we played minesweeper for months. One wrong step, and the bomb explodes. We tried every possible way that we could to make things worked. I went to Jakarta to meet our local entity’s alumni to gain insight. Some of the members met our advisors, some others were working on the documents, some were working on the brand details, and definitely other things I shouldn’t write in detail.

Months passed by, and things got better gradually. The little things that we did start to show their results. We finally can do the things that we should do again. The dreams and hopes began to grow again. The smiles were back on people’s faces. The tension was decreasing day by day. We can finish our tasks and responsibilities well, and long story short, we can finally close the term with good results with pride.

The last event as 16 pieces of the active executive board

I could say that with everything that happened that year, I learned many things, but to sum up here are my 5 top learnings when becoming the head of an AIESEC committee at a local level, which are:

1 | I learned how to run a company-like organization.

AIESEC is an organization with a target and fast-paced working. We have a performance tracking meeting weekly to know what each department had done and how the synergy is going between each department. We also like to put a specific target which pushes us to do things effectively and efficiently. For me, those things shaped my working style and approach up until now.

2 | I learned how to manage people.

Heading 15 people with different backgrounds and characters who also are the head of each respective department was challenging. With those backgrounds, characters, and interests, everyone could have different thoughts and opinions, so it became my duty to bridge those differences. It should also come with a good communication flow and generate a win-win solution for both (or more) parties.

3 | I learned how to be a representative.

I’ve never had any occasion to become the representative for my organization before. However, when you’re the head of an organization, like it or not, you should become the representative of your organization. Though I’m an extrovert, meeting new people and starting a conversation is not that easy for me, especially in a formal meeting, so I need to learn how to bring myself to those kinds of occasions. From other things, this one, to be honest, was one of the hardest things I should master when becoming the head of my entity.

4 | I learned how to take risks and make a decision.

During crisis time, my team and I need to take a pivotal decision with risks in every choice we could take. It was tricky because those choices came with different risks, so it wasn’t about which choices had the least risk, but which risks we should and could face together.

5 | I redefined myself.

Personal growth has been something interesting for me since years ago. I feel like I got a lot of learning as a person during the experience when being the entity’s head. I lost myself when the crisis arose. However, that loss becoming the moment I found my-new-self. Once, near the end of my term, we had a local conference where we played the song “I Lived” by One Republic. Everyone was jumping and singing out loud while I cried, remembering every broken bone I had to feel like I’m living. Indeed, at the time, I feel like I lived.