Only You Can Make This Change
By: John Cunningham
Tags: Self Improvement, Change, Motivation, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking

How to be accountable

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. Jim Rohn

It’s easy to let someone else be in charge of your circumstances. You can choose to blame others for your misfortune or quickly reply with, “It’s not my fault.” When you take this route, you are surrendering control. Initially, it may be just one decision. Over time, however, it becomes a way of life, and soon you will be a prisoner in this web of surrender that you have sewn for yourself. It’s time you changed that and seized responsibility for your life. This is the only way you will develop resilience as you clash with the challenges you encounter, working towards a life of meaning and purpose.

You Have Other Choices

Every situation you encounter provides you with options and choices. It goes without saying, those choices all have consequences. As you make these decisions, you will want to weigh the risks and rewards of each alternative.

One way to do this is to list up all the ways you can take action, then create a plan to change your situation. Or you could brainstorm pros and cons for each option. Talking to others is another way to understand your situation and options. Another person’s perspective may generate ideas you had not previously considered.

Accept It

You can say, “Oh, well, there is nothing I can do about it.” Unfortunately, that won’t get you very far. Accepting your undesirable circumstances will turn you into a constant complainer. That is a good way to get yourself a starting position on Team Blame.

Team Blame’s game is to throw every undesirable aspect of their lives to someone or something else, saying that it is outside of their control. “I did not get a raise because my manager doesn’t like me.” “I guess this relationship was not meant to last.” “It’s not my fault I was late, there was more traffic today than usual.”

Refuse to accept that you have no control over your life. Stop looking for problems and start looking for solutions.

Accepting that the circumstances are outside of your influence is an easy way to cast aside responsibility. It may also temporarily make you feel better. In the long run though, you are blurring the lines of personal responsibility and tipping the scales of control and independence against yourself. Don’t accept being a victim. There are many things you can change beit with incremental steps or in one big shift.

Change It

Don’t just accept things at face value. Decide to make a difference. You actually have more control of your life than you think. It only takes one conversation to start a movement, provided you engage the right people. Confidently voice your concerns, describe the roadblocks, and seek solutions to those things you previously surrendered to.

If you did not get a raise, what could you have done to improve your job performance? Before your relationship falls apart, take a more active role in nurturing and developing it. And instead of blaming the traffic for your tardiness, leave earlier, find alternative routes or check the traffic reports to be more in charge of your morning commute. Don’t accept mitigating circumstances, plan and act in ways which establish your personal responsibility. Doing so will provide you more options and opportunities.

Setting Boundaries

If you find the situation disagreeable, you can remove yourself from it altogether. While this withdrawal may seem to be skirting the issue, it is sometimes better to cut your losses and move on. This type of realization takes some courage as you need to believe your talents, time and tenacity would be better served somewhere else. Removing yourself from a situation that drains your physical and emotional energy can light a fire in you to achieve more.

Be true to yourself above all else. Have a sense of what your efforts can impact and those situations which run counter to your ideals and beliefs. Give your energy and presence to taking action that will make you a better version of yourself. Eliminate the circumstances from your life which fail to serve your development as a person of morals and integrity. You deserve that.

When you choose to remove yourself from a constricting situation, it is important to be resolute and not give in to self doubt. Could have, would have and should have are ideas you need to separate yourself from. Those doubts will lead you right back to where you started. Wavering after you take such a big leap of faith can lead to dire consequences. You may find your position in a relationship weakened, or have lingering feelings of not being up to the challenge. Once you have decided to remove yourself, go all in to get out. Run, don’t walk and whatever you do, don’t look back. With some distance, your confidence will grow as you begin to realize you are now on a better path.

If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose to remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. Eckhart Tolle

But…

No matter which road you take, you will fail. That’s ok. We all make mistakes and then we work to get better next time. Don’t be afraid of that. Failure sparks growth and growth leads to mastery. There is no way for you to become good at something without failing first. Believe in yourself, know you are destined to succeed and choose to be accountable for your progress through not only the failures but successes too. No one else can do it.

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs. Joan Didion

Growth

As you take more and more responsibility for your decisions, actions and development a wonderful thing will happen, you will find a new source of energy. You will be open to challenges and see possibilities which you may never have known existed. These doors which are opening for you will be of your own making. Believe that you can be more, that you can do more, and that through this belief all things are possible. Have the courage to accept with uncompromising faith and belief in yourself.

Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else. Les Brown

Summary

Humans tend to be lazy. We like to take the easy way out. We look for shortcuts and we would like to pass responsibility for problems around like we hand out business cards at a convention. You can choose to do that too. Or, you can stand up and be accountable to yourself, your friends and family, and your destiny. Refuse to accept that you have no control over your life. Stop looking for problems and start looking for solutions. Regardless of where you are in life, choose to take some action now. Big or small, do something to take back control of your life. Then build on that. Only you can get yourself from the valley to the mountain top.