Control What You Can, Let Go Of What You Can’t
By: Marla Nemanic
Tags: Focus, Letting Go, Mindset, Motivation, Healthy Lifestyle

My daughter in Israel December 2019

One day, a professor entered his classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test. They all waited anxiously at their desks for the exam to begin.

The professor handed out the exams with the text facing down, as usual. Once he handed them all out, he asked the students to turn over the papers.

To everyone’s surprise, there were no questions-just a black dot in the center of the paper. The professor, seeing the expression on everyone’s faces, told them the following: “I want you to write about what you see there.” The students, confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the exams, and started reading each one of them out loud in front of all the students.

All of them, with no exception, defined the black dot, trying to explain its position in the center of the sheet. Did you know no one wrote about the white part of the paper? Everyone focused on the black dot — and the same thing happens in our lives.

Why is it that we most always focus only on the black dots of life — what’s out of our control?

I was someone who always tried to have a plan so I could be ready for anything life through at me. I tried to focus all my energy on what I could control and let go of everything else, the small things. It wasn’t until a crisis happened within our family, you know the kind where one day your life is “normal” and the next day it isn’t... My entire life plan went from having what I thought was control to actually having no control at all.

Do you become consumed by the things that are going wrong? Maybe it’s the lack of money, or the complicated relationship with a family member, maybe it is a sickness, or maybe it’s our current times and all the uncertainty around you? When you really think about it, the dark spots are usually very small (even though they feel like mountains) when compared to everything we do have that is going right in our lives, but for whatever reason those dark spots are the things that we allow to pollute and poison our minds. Life can’t always be controlled but the way we respond to life can be.

“When we focus on what we can control, we don’t worry as much about what we can’t.”

I know I have experienced such a lack of control this past year, unlike ever before. So many restrictions, so much uncertainty, missing my family, and wanting to hug again my friends… I miss my tribe!

I know life is filled with many unknowns. But what I do know and can control is this… Working my business smarter and not harder, tackling tasks I have been putting off way too long, long walks with my dog, biking with my husband, loving on my kids, binge watching some really great shows, reading interesting books, trying new recipes, and just simply being grateful for LIFE.

4 Ways to Help You Take Back Control

• Find creative ways to connect with people — Social media can help. Think about joining a group chat or online hangout with friends and family. • Keep a structured day — Work/Life Balance is key. Take breaks by scheduling in “play” time. • Limit the news — One of the many reasons we no longer have cable. Just because it is reported doesn’t make it so. • Fresh air — Go to your porch or balcony with a cup of coffee and enjoy the sunrise/sunset or the chirping of birds. Go for that walk. Getting closer to nature is calming and this can distract you from focusing on negativity.

Let us all stop focusing on the black dots. Today I will choose to see the white paper and appreciate each one of my blessings. Does this mean I am completely worry free? No, but I keep reminding myself to focus my energy on my response and how I can make a difference, rather than spending precious time worrying about all the areas in which I can’t.