A Literary Analysis of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells”
By: Brian Deines
Tags: Batman, Christmas, Holidays, Parenting, Children

A Literary Analysis of “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells”

They say all you really need to know, you learned in Kindergarten.

One of the things everyone learns in Kindergarten is that there are other — funner — words to “Jingle Bells.”

Sure, “Jingle Bells” is a beloved old chestnut of a Christmas song.

But “Batman Smells” is loved on a deeper level because it gets right to the heart of chaotic side of the Holidays.

What is it about these lyrics that speaks to us on such a primordial level? Let’s take a deeper look at our favorite Christmas song and try to find out.

First of all, don’t forget what waiting for Christmas was like as kid.

The never-ending nights of Advent. All this “nice-not-naughty” surveillance talk. So much sensory overload. And the waiting. And the waiting. It was all torture.

Thus, in the mind of a child, when “Batman Smells” emerges on the playground, it’s like pure, sugary, human escapism.

In other words, Batman Smells is the perfect pressure-release valve encapsulating the original trinity of childhood delights — Christmas, Super Heroes, and potty talk.

The Origins of Batman Smells

For backstory, the original version of beloved old “Jingle Bells” was written by James Lord Pierpont in the 1850’s.

It actually has three additional verses which most people don’t know. In reality, those three extra verses are at least as inappropriate as “Batman Smells’” second verse (NSFW).

Perhaps then, “Jingle Bells” was destined for a naughty future from the outset.

In reality, those three extra titillating verses about “Miss Fanny Bright” and “cracking into the lead at two-forty speed” — play more like a 19th century Beach Boys diddy than the wholesome Christmas Jingle we know.

Meanwhile, Robert Smith and Rob Weir traced the origin of the flatulent, Dark Knight-inspired revision “Batman Smells” to the mid-1960s, when Adam West and Burt Ward first starred in the Batman TV Series.

To the dry-cleaner Batman!

The Smith-Weir hypothesis is essentially that “Batman Smells” first appeared on the playgrounds of California in December 1966, coinciding with the TV Series.

Fast forward to 1989, and we find that “Batman Smells” was famously sung within the first two minutes of Season 1, Episode 1 of ‘The Simpsons’!

That’s right, “Batman Smells” is our very first introduction to Bart Simpson. No wonder we immediately formed a deep, loving bond with his character.

Ode To Joy

In the last five years, I’ve had the joy of both my sons serenading me, out of the blue, with “Batman Smells.” They learned it on their own. And brought it to me like a house cat with a finch.

Let me tell you — few surprises in fatherhood are as serendipitous and elicit quite as unique a sense of pride and heart-warming joy.

For I could tell — via the vigor with which they sang — like their father and Bart Simpson before them, that Batman Smells is their true favorite Christmas Carol. And further confirmation that singing Batman Smells is totally worth the risk of banishment to the naughty list.

It appears there’s undeniable truth lurking in these words. Let’s investigate!