I Used Sex Appeal to Get More Money
By: Malinda Fusco
Tags: Equality, Women, Advice, This Happened To Me, Feminism

Money, Money, Money

When I started my job at a spa, it was half front-desk, half sales. Upon checking new clients out, we pitched the membership to them and earned a commission for sign-ups.

At first, men were nearly impossible to sell the memberships to.

However, as time went on, and through trial and error, the way I sold to men and women started to differ until my sales approach was dramatically different between men and women.

And suddenly, I sold more massage memberships to men than women.

For women, I took on the role of friendly and helpful. “Didn’t you love Susan? She’s a great therapist, right? Oh, since it’s your first time in, your next massage is only ten dollars. Here’s how…”

For men, I took on a slightly different role…a flirtier role.

Men, I quickly realized, were easier to sell to if I did three things:

Dressed Flirty: Think form-fitting clothes that accentuate boobs and butt, along with more makeup. Softened Myself: When speaking with women, I was bubbly and confident. With men, I spoke softer and engaged in more small talk about them. Smiled More: More smiles and a lot more laughter.

I shamelessly did all three and it worked. Flirty sold memberships. Memberships got me paid. Money paid the bills. Yay!

This wasn’t a problem with any of my coworkers (who often did the same thing) until one quiet lunch break the topic of feminism came up.

When I expressed my opinion on female equality and feminism, one coworker sneered a bit and said…

“You can’t call yourself a feminist.”

“Malinda, I see how you sell to men. You can’t call yourself a feminist.”

Excuse me? I was floored.

First of all, I can call myself whatever I damn well please, including “feminist.”

Second of all, cashing in on the fact that women are oversexualized doesn’t make me a “feminist failure” as my co-worker insinuated.

Playing to that over-sexualization to achieve a fatter paycheck isn’t empowering or degrading. It’s not feminist or anti-feminist.

Women Are Pressured to Be Sexy…but Are Punished for Being Sexual

Admittedly, after being super insulted, I started to doubt myself. Was I not a feminist if I used sex appeal to up my sales?

The thing was, I didn’t care what clients thought about me. I didn’t care that they were likely sexualizing me.

I wasn’t trying to form lasting relationships with any of them.

What I was trying to do was to make a 1-minute connection before they checked out so they’d chat with me for another 5 minutes as I pitched the massage membership to them.

And it worked. So why was I being punished for it?

Sexualization Is Neither Empowering nor Degrading

My value shouldn’t be judged based on attractiveness. The value of my product (the memberships) shouldn’t be judged based on my sex appeal. That’s not what I’m arguing for.

Sex appeal gave me a few extra minutes with the client to get the pitch across and urge them to take it.

To label sexualization as “good or bad” is naive and wrong.

The kind of people who say “you’re too sexual, you can’t be a feminist,” are the kind of people who say “strippers can’t be feminists.”

Both of those statements are lies.

To me, feminism is about the right to choice and the right to equality. My body, my choice. And if I choose to sexualize it? That’s my choice too.

It’s strange that another woman (who also claims to be a feminist) would be so against another woman’s choice over her own body.

To me, that seems anti-feminist.

If you tell someone that they aren’t a feminist, then you’re already failing at feminism yourself.

Instead, we need to support each other.