A Day In the Pandemic Life of a Full-Time Working Parent
By: Krista Mollion
Tags: Life Lessons, Covid Diaries, Loss, Covid 19, Parenting

A Day In the Pandemic Life of a Full-Time Working Parent

The struggle is real.

Image: Author

Since late March I have been to my family’s mountain home in the French Alps. I came here to spend the lockdown with my dad. Unfortunately, my dad got Covid-19 and died. Now it is just me and my toddler. My three older kids stayed in San Francisco with my ex-husband. I miss them terribly. I don’t know how much longer I will need to stay here. There are many things to deal with for my dad’s estate and back-and-forth travel from the USA isn’t a good idea right now. Six months prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, I had given up my house in San Francisco and put many things in storage. I moved to San Diego into short-term rentals. It wasn’t hard to pack up and come to France. But, with one suitcase, I did not plan on staying this long. I thought Covid would be over by the Summer. Now it is October and I’m still here!

I’m a Product Marketer, a writer, and a former digital agency owner of a 3d/VR/video agency from San Francisco. I am half-French and half-American. I’ve run my own consultancy for a while now, doing freelance product marketing, copywriting, social media marketing, and coaching.

Going into lockdown or working remotely is not much of a problem for me. If anything, it didn’t change much in the way I work. What changed was the emotional stress due to Covid-19, the loss of my dad, and being alone with a toddler without the rest of my family or friends. Going from living in two big cities — San Francisco and San Diego - to a small mountain town in the French Alps was quite a cultural shock. It is beautiful here but very different from what I’m used to in many ways.

I work from the log cabin, surrounded by mountains and woods, that I now own. Luckily, there was already the Internet. I don’t have my usual home office set up so I’ve done my best to improvise. This includes my laptop, a webcam, a printer, two tripods, a headset, a ring light, and a standing light (for my videos and Zoom calls). I’m hoping to add a headset or a microphone soon for better audio.

Image: Author

During the day, my routine looks like this:

6 a.m.: Wake Up. Shower, Coffee, Exercise, Journaling

Wake Up. Shower, Coffee, Exercise, Journaling 7-8 a.m.: Time with my daughter

Time with my daughter 8 a.m.: Bring my daughter to Preschool

Bring my daughter to Preschool 9 a.m. - 3:45 p.m.: Write/Work

Write/Work 4 p.m.: Pick my daughter up from Preschool

Pick my daughter up from Preschool 4–8 p.m.: Time with my daughter, Errands, Life

Time with my daughter, Errands, Life 8 p.m.-1 a.m: Emails, Chats, Social Media Activity, Zoom Calls with Clients, Reading, and Podcasts

This schedule works for me. Of course, everyone is different. I’m a morning and night person.

In the morning, I can write faster and have my most creative ideas. This is my flow state where I tolerate zero interruptions and write like a machine.

At night, I have three teens in the States who I want to spend time talking to vis Zoom. They complain about online school and missing me and their friends. The lockdown takes a toll on everyone’s mental state. Since all my work is currently with U.S.- based clients, the evenings are my main time to speak to everyone, give updates, and in general, be online. I have all of my Zoom calls at night.

I am lucky because the school opened here in France in late August. My daughter attends Preschool. The teachers wear masks but the children don’t. Parents are not allowed inside the classrooms. Most larger activities have been canceled this year: no school-wide parties, theater, or sports events. Every Fall, there is usually a Harvest Fair that was also canceled this year. In 2.5 months, there was one case of Covid-19 in a higher grade but the little kids didn’t have contact with them. We are always ready for the case of needing to stay home or get tested if more cases are discovered.

Some days are more challenging. My daughter’s school has many vacation days. Then she is at home with me all day. We live in a small mountain community with only a few kids nearby and no family now that my dad is gone. Also, the weather has turned rainy, cold, and sometimes stormy so the kids don’t get to play much outdoors from October to March. On such days, my house looks like a thief visited: dirty dishes, dirty laundry, crumbs on the floor, and the child room a total disaster zone. On such days, I just breathe and go with the flow. I prioritize my daughter’s and my own mental well-being over perfection. After all, I can clean up after my toddler sleeps.

Image: Author

If you didn’t get this part, I am alone here with my toddler. Her dad, to whom I am not married, stayed in the United States. He does not have a passport nor has he ever been overseas. Luckily, I got a passport for my daughter when she was born because we are a family who travels. When I made my quick decision to come to France for the lockdown, he fully supported my decision, especially the argument that it is safer here in a small, remote town. We did not consider that we would not see him for six months. That’s a story for another time: love during Covid-19. It definitely is hard on everyone to be displaced or confined apart.

I wish I had my toddler’s dad to help co-parent but then a new problem would appear: I see many couples bickering with one another due to stress. Covid is difficult no matter where you are and who you are with. We must all learn to be kinder and more compassionate, both to others and to ourselves.

Being a parent during Covid-19, a few things that have helped:

Routines

Patience

Self-care

Letting off steam

Crying when needed

Zoom calls

Writing, writing, writing

Wine (ok, I’m semi-joking)

Letting go of perfection

There are days when I’m a total mess emotionally. I miss my older kids. I miss my friends. I miss my coffee shops and my beaches. I’m well-traveled but I admit that I do miss the USA. When I get a bit sad, I practice self-care by walks in the forest or hikes in the mountains. I appreciate the beauty of this place and I remind myself of the good things I have in my life to be thankful for.

Image: Author

The best thing I can recommend to everyone is to give up the idea that you are in full control. These are crazy times and you just have to roll with it. Things will be messy, unpredictable, stressful, delayed, or even canceled. We must have more understanding, compassion, and love in our hearts. This isn’t a time to stay rigid and fixated on things going just as planned because it won’t happen. I’m actually very productive work-wise but I also have sacrificed: no socializing with other adults, no cultural events, living in a foreign place far from my older kids and boyfriend, and a stoic work schedule. For now, this is my reality, both the good and the bad, and I’m managing (barely).