Why We Get So Angry During Election Season
By: Joël Malm
Tags: Protests, Frustration, Anger, Outrage, Elections

As if 2020 wasn’t stressful enough, we’ve entered into another heated election season and it’s causing lots of anger, anxiety, and outright rage. Even the calmest of us are prone to getting sucked into an online debate with people we don’t know (or do) and feeling the adrenaline pulsing through us as we fight to get our point made. How can they possibly think that?! What is wrong with these people!

Photo by Sushil Nash on Unsplash

So, why do we get so angry around election time?

More importantly, is there a way to not get so angry this election season?

I believe it’s possible to stay calm and at peace even in the most heated of elections, but to do it, there are a few things it’s important to understand about anger:

1. Anger always comes from feeling threatened

In my book, Love Slows Down, I talk about the fact that anger is always a sign. It’s a sign you feel threatened. When you get angry at something happening around you, it’s always because of something happening inside you.

Anger is a secondary emotion, it comes after we feel a threat to one (or all) of three specific things:

- Security (physical, emotional, financial)

- Connection (self-esteem, feeling seen and understood)

- Control (sense of empowerment and having choices and options)

At the root of all anger is a fear of not getting one of those things, or fear having it taken away.

2. Fear drives action

When you feel threatened or afraid, your brain activity shifts from your pre-frontal cortex (the rational thinking part) to a more primal part. You go into fight-or-flight, survival mode. Fear drives you to action.

And action is what politicians, the media, and companies trying to sell you something all want. They want you to vote for them, keep watching them, or buy their products. Fear has the power to get you moving in the direction they want.

Whether it’s fear of having your guns taken (threats to security and control), fear of our country becoming uncompassionate to the hurting or refugees (connection), or just plain fear of having the government control too much of your life — each side sells fear that appeals to their voter base. And it works — but it also makes us angry at the other side because they are threatening those three basic things. If you live on a steady diet of hearing what the other side is threatening, it will naturally lead to anger. Fear always leads to anger.

3. Anger promises power

When we feel threatened, the natural response is to try to eliminate the threat to our security, connection, or control. Anger is an emotion that gives us a feeling of power. It helps us feel a little more in control of whatever is threatening us. But it can also lead to some pretty disastrous consequences if we lash out or use our anger to hurt others. It can lead to broken relationships and some serious regret.

But it doesn’t have to. This election year doesn’t have to mess up your relationships or lead to regret.

This year, I encourage you to pay attention to the cues that are being used to trigger your fear, anxiety, and anger. Don’t let your emotions run away with you. Slow down, take a deep breathe, and realize that you don’t have to be swept up in the surge of emotions. You can stay calm and at peace — even when the world around you seems to have gone mad.

Joël Malm holds an M.S. in Counseling. His book Love Slows Down: How to Keep Anger and Anxiety from Ruining Life’s Relationships will be available from Salem Books on September 1.