Why Solitude is the Answer for Most of Your Problems
By: Parsh Jain
Tags: Psychology, Productivity, Self Improvement, Creativity, Motivation

Why Solitude is the Answer for Most of Your Problems

Your fear of solitude might be holding you back

Think about this for a minute, how many times in a day are you interrupted by your phone and how many times does distracted mind leave you in a different trail of thoughts? Many times, I reckon. I have been suffering from a similar issue, especially in the pandemic.

So, this is the hypothetical situation:

You are all alone with not much to do and no one around you except for your digital friend: your phone.

You spend endless hours scrolling on it to remove or numb the pain of being alone.

This is where practicing solitude comes into play.

Scientists diagnose ‘loneliness epidemics’ as if it’s an infectious disease. We fear hearing the word spoken aloud in case we catch it.

Loneliness terrifies us, we would rather waste our time binging on Netflix or scrolling on Instagram instead of thinking about ourselves. Therefore as children, we were told to go to our rooms as a punishment, and men and women over 30 who don’t have a family or aren’t dating are pitied across the globe for being all alone.

Not surprisingly, A 2014 study found more than two-thirds of men and a quarter of women would rather inflict themselves with electric shock than be alone with their thoughts. Dramatic as it seems, it’s the sad truth that most of us are afraid to be all alone with nothing but our thoughts.

But is there a difference between solitude and loneliness?

Loneliness is sitting alone and being uncomfortable with it. This is most of the world right now.

Solitude is being content with yourself when you are all alone. Being happy with your own company.

One thing that boarding school taught me early on is that if you can master solitude, you will never feel alone again.

What Silence and Solitude Can Do for You?

Sitting in silence is one of the most underappreciated tools according to my experiences. It can breed a new level of creativity in your mind. It has the power to provide you with solutions to stubborn problems.

Derek Sivers, the writer, and founder of CDBaby says silence is a great canvas for your thoughts. “That vacuum helps turn all your inputs into output. That lack of interruption is a great ingredient for flow,” says Sivers.

A study by Duke University regenerative biologist, Imke Kirste, found that two hours of silence per day prompted cell development in the hippocampus, the brain region related to the formation of memory, involving the senses.

Solitude is the foundation of most of the creative genius found in the world.

In physics, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and James Clerk Maxwell, three of the greatest creative contributors, worked almost entirely alone.

People practicing solitude take help and suggestion when they need guidance or advice but primarily try to focus on their craft by working alone.

In music, Michael Jackson and Roger Waters needed the input of Quincy Jones and David Gilmour, respectively, to produce a great product.

Solitude has the potential to make you irresistible to the outside world, as in a digitally interconnected world people become curious by the outlier who likes to be alone and are attracted towards their way of living as it is something outside of the ‘new normal’ of being constantly distracted.

Pitfalls of Hyper-Connectivity

Hyper-connectivity can become the enemy of innovation if given enough time and priority. The ability to collaborate with others is certainly a big part of success. And no business venture can thrive without a foundation of communication and teamwork. But relying too much on other’s opinions and thoughts will lead you to drown out yours. This will also lead to a loss of creativity and originality. To learn and understand what your mind really thinks you must give it some time alone without other people putting their thoughts inside it. To flourish and train your idea muscle you need to use it yourself.

The constant bickering of social media and media, in general, affects the way we lead our company’s and our society. One University of London study shows that members of a remote African tribe have better attention spans (and, not surprisingly, are more generally content) than urban-dwellers who are constantly surrounded by noise.

One of the best examples of the issues of hyper-connectivity was cited by essayist and critic William Deresiewicz In his 2009 address to West Point military graduates during which he outlines the relationship between leadership and solitude, telling us about the spread of a nationwide “leadership crisis” plaguing the U.S. He blames the lack of visionaries and creativity to our aversion to solitude.

Deresiewicz writes,

“But it seems to me that solitude is the very essence of leadership. The position of the leader is ultimately an intensely solitary, even intensely lonely one. However, for many people you may consult, you are the one who has to make the hard decisions. And at such moments, all you really have is yourself.”

Your duty is to yourself first and then to others, but when you make a bad decision it can affect a lot of people, especially if you’re a business owner.

Deresiewicz continues in his speech to the military graduates,

“How will you find the strength and wisdom to challenge an unwise order or question a wrongheaded policy? How will you find words of comfort that are more than just empty formulas?

These are truly formidable dilemmas, more so than most other people will ever have to face in their lives, let alone when they’re 23. The time to start preparing yourself for them is now.

And the way to do it is by thinking through these issues for yourself — morality, mortality, honor — so you will have the strength to deal with them when they arise.”

Thinking about the decision you are going to make is essential to making the correct choice, even more, important than that is the forethought and feedback you get on that decision.

As a business owner you must learn that if a decision goes wrong, which is possibly a lot of time, you need to learn to live in solitude as everyone around you will blame you for the loss or mistake. So being alone with your thoughts is the only way to be the person and leader you dream of becoming.

Solitude as a choice

Real solitude is almost impossible to experience in the modern world.

In the early days of living in my boarding school, I can remember that they were the loneliest days of my life, I didn’t have any friends and I was in a new city where I knew no one. But as the days went by, I started reading and journaling and started spending time in nature. I learned that the joy of being with yourself cannot be greater than anything other you experience in your life.

Bringing solitude into your life is no easy task, you have to consciously decide when you have an opportunity to sit alone, whether to mindlessly scroll Instagram or think about what has been bothering you and figure out solutions to that issue.

I started with meditating in the evening for 10 minutes every day just to get my head clear and assess what all had happened in the day, this helped me spot the mistakes I made in the day and helped me visualize the next day in-depth.

To build the habit of sitting alone and spending time with myself I started waking up 30 minutes earlier than my normal wake up time so that I would have enough time to collect my thoughts and prime myself for the upcoming day.

Strive to find small pockets of silence for yourself during the day and savor the silence.

You can schedule just five minutes, in complete silence, every day. It will be an awkward experience in the beginning but it’s worth it.

Your instinct will be to fight and insist you are wasting time.

But believe me even 5 minutes a day, in the beginning, can be life-changing if done consistently.

You will choose to block out the external world and noise and retreat into your inner temple.

Choosing to be alone in a somewhat disciplined manner can give you the time and space necessary to focus on your most important work.

Gain Access to Expert View — Subscribe to DDI Intel