I’m positive
By: Michelle Bambawale
Tags: Pandemic Diaries, Covid Positive, Public Health, Covid 19, Goa

– but I don’t have any symptoms.

Last week, I travelled to Tadoba, a wildlife reserve in Maharashtra, with Jyoti and Radha, two of my best friends from high school. We’d hoped to glimpse some of India’s majestic tigers (we did — 15!). I arrived home in Siolim, tired but healthy, very early on the morning of Saturday, April 3rd.

On Tuesday, April 6th, I decided to get myself tested, as a precaution, since I’d recently been on a flight. I had also tested on Monday 29th March before flying.

Assuming that my test would be negative (because I felt completely fine and the rapid antigen test was negative); I decided to go ahead and get vaccinated the following day. So, on Wednesday, April 7th at noon, I took the first dose of the Covishield (AstraZeneca) vaccine…

Later that evening, I received a call from the local Primary Health Center (PHC), informing me that I had tested positive for Covid-19. (I also got a text message.) They checked my medical history and symptoms, confirmed I was asymptomatic, had no comorbidities and told me to self-isolate.

At that moment, I felt nervous, a little scared and very confused as I still felt physically fine. Would I develop symptoms to the virus and/or the vaccine?

I had no reaction to the vaccine other than a very low fever (99.5) around 8PM on Thursday, April 8th — which was taken care of with a paracetamol tablet.

Fortunately, Jyoti and Radha are negative — Radha remarkably so, as she travelled with me from Goa to Tadoba and back. (Jyoti is fully vaccinated with both doses and Radha has had one dose of Covishield.) All my six human family members have also tested negative (though I can’t speak for the dogs — they seem in good spirits, so I’m assuming they’re fine).

I had met a few friends and family on Sunday April 4, as it was Easter Sunday. Thankfully, they all don’t have symptoms and tested negative.

The view from my bed

As for me: I’m isolated in the guest room, and I am physically healthy. I’ve been consistently monitoring my temperature, pulse and oxygen levels, which are all normal so far.

Mentally, however, I’ve been wracking my brain, second-guessing myself, as I look for symptoms. I don’t have the obvious — cough, fever, loss of smell, appetite etc.

The one thing that was unusual was a severe lower back pain on Friday, April 2nd, which I attributed to a very, very, rough safari ride on Thursday evening, on which we were thrown around in an open jeep. Is back ache a Covid symptom? I don’t know — and I’m not Googling to confirm. I’ll never be sure. I hear joint ache is, but my knees often hurt! In the spirit of full disclosure, I also have an unpredictable tummy, so is my dodgy stomach also a symptom? A couple of evenings I have had a stuffy nose, is it the air conditioning or a symptom?

I know I am very lucky. Many, many people have not been so lucky.

I am grateful for so many friends and family who call and message me regularly to check on me. One year into this pandemic, we definitely know a lot of covid jargon — words, terms and medicines we had never heard of before. So, I’m getting a lot of free, well meaning, unsolicited advice from family and friends (both sweet and annoying) — most of whom have self conferred honorary PhD and MD degrees in Covidology (very entertaining). I have been prescribed everything from gargling, to inhalation, to hot water, to honey and lime, to ivermectin, to chest X-rays and CT scans, I’ve also been instructed to admit myself to hospital (just to stay safe) and asked if I had to take remdesivir, checked on my viral load and antibodies with both vaccine and virus. I have been questioned in detail on all my symptoms, and also been diagnosed with a false positive, and told to retest.

Jyoti is a medical doctor (with a real MD and practice), and hers is the only advice I’m following on testing, medicating, and monitoring. I’m taking vitamin C and Zinc every day, and vitamin D once a week. I also took that one paracetamol.

“People like us” typically don’t use the public health system in India. I personally, and us as a family, almost only use it in Goa. I have great faith in it. They have sorted us out earlier with all our emergencies — dog bites, jellyfish stings, kitchen and road accidents (don’t ask!) During these tough Covid times, I’d like to give a big shout out to the Siolim PHC (Public Health Centre) and to the larger public health system in Goa. We have all been tested. Bharat and I have walked in, and got our first doses of the vaccine efficiently and hygienically in March and April respectively. All free. All right here in Siolim.

It was a health care doctor who called me to say I was positive. She got the names of my household and informed me that they all needed to test and I needed to isolate. They sent me a Covid care pack, which included all the possible medication (vitamins, paracetamol and covid medicines), wipes, N95 masks, sanitiser, a thermometer and an oximeter. Bharat, the kids and our house help all got texts confirming they were negative. I have to WhatsApp three readings — morning, afternoon and night of my oxygen levels, temperature and pulse to the PHC nurse.

My isolation is not hard. I have a good routine — wake up, stretch, shower, work, eat, watch, sleep. Repeat. I get home cooked, healthy meals served on a tray, at regular hours, that I don’t have to plan or shop for. My dogs are always popping in and out, and I don’t have to walk them. My family can be summoned to a distance of 10 feet away, so I can still nag them. I can look at my garden, just outside my window, without having to water or care for it. A beautiful, antique, heirloom bed to lie, laze, work and sleep on. My brand new Macbook air to play with, work and binge watch on. My speaker to sing and dance to. My Kindle to read.

The questions are many: How come only I contracted the virus? When did I get it? Why did I test when I had no symptoms? Why don’t I take another test to be sure? Why did I take the vaccine? Did I get it from the tigers? Can I identify which tiger for contact tracing?

At this point, I don’t know how or where I got it. A bit about me — I wear/wore my mask every time I leave my home. I have no comorbidities, I have eaten healthy obsessively for the last 20 years, home cooked, at fixed times (8 am, 12:30 and 7:30pm). Eat organic and local as much as possible, eat at least one green salad at two meals every single day. I’m active if not fit, I do some light exercise regularly just for 15–30 minutes, no gym, no exercise classes or running for me, just walking my dogs (another benefit of having dogs) or yoga or pilates, again, for the last 20 years. My current pilates teacher says I’m strong. I’m going with that, no matter how old and achy I feel. I have never smoked, I avoid sugar. I’m not anxious or stressed. I sleep a minimum of 8 hours every night. Did this help? Possibly. The disclaimer here is this last year, I have eaten cake and drunk alcohol almost everyday.

My three dogs near my bed

I’m staying positive in spite of testing positive. Every call I make/get there is always a hushed voice and hesitation and then an “Oh no Michelle! I’m so sorry. Get well soon. Take care.” I’m actually fine. It’s the same reaction on a text — “oh no!” I hear horror and panic everytime I talk to a friend. With good reason, I know. You don’t know how it will affect you and how your body will react. There is again a shortage of both hospital beds and vaccines. So many have lost family, close friends, have serious comorbidities, have spent long days isolated in the hospital with the disease that has dealt them a body blow. Not been able to say goodbye or have a fitting funeral for a family member or dear friend.

It is the fear that is crippling us. I’m not trying to trivialise the disease, just trying to bring my own experience and perspective and staying positive. We only hear horror stories. We don’t hear of the asymptomatic and the mild cases because they probably go undetected, and they definitely don’t make the news. I wanted to tell my Covid positive story. The statistics are also on my side. Many have died, more hospitalised, but most recovered. Let’s stay vigilant but hopeful.

Will we all get it? Probably. How can we slow/stop the spread — Vaccinate, wear a mask, social distance, wash your hands. We know the drill.

Maybe I needed a new topic to blog about…

Have a good week. Stay safe everyone!