The Pandemic Could Change Our Views on Mental Illness
By: Avalina Robin Harvey
Tags: Self Improvement, Productivity, Covid 19, Mental Health, Social Change

I’ve been pushing deathly darkness deep down in my gut for months now. The bleak black that sent me down the rabbit hole when I was 11 during my first bout with bipolar mood disorder returned about two and a half months ago.

That, combined with PTSD (an ongoing struggle for me) amid the latest round of lockdowns in my community, has made this latest bout of the blues a tough one.

A shared experience

Even so, I see a new light may shine across society about the struggles of those of us who live with mental illness. Simply because many people who never struggled with mental-health issues before are experiencing them now.

I see it in my own life. Recently, many people I know have turned to me for support with their grief and isolation during COVID. And, I’ve realized my genetic “curse” has given me coping skills I can offer others living through the pandemic’s depression and isolation.

I have been open and written about my struggles with bipolar mood disorder and PTSD for years. The upshot of this is, lately, I’m giving tips and life hacks, for want of a better word, that I’ve developed and am using now to stay sane and grounded, to people I never thought would care.

Hopeless and overwhelmed

When my COVID walking buddy came to me in tears after being laid off from her fourth job due to COVID shutdowns, I told her to try to break her days into a series of small tasks when she felt hopeless and overwhelmed.

One step at a time is easier than facing down the entire journey, I said. And that strategy lets you carry what you can’t get done over to the next day. I also suggested she start a journal to list her accomplishments and strengths.

Lost in the “new normal”

Writing things down becomes a cognitive reality check. It helps reframe life in a more positive, realistic light when depression has you seeing only negatives.

Another friend was sure she was failing her teenaged son because the “new normal” left her stressed and foggy, far from the “great mother” she thought she should be.

I suggested she try to be a “good enough for now” mother instead of a great one. For when I gave up on trying to be perfect and aimed for good enough my life became much easier.

Photo by Alysha Rosly on Unsplash

Mental health toolbox

These strategies are part of my “mental health” toolbox. It took decades and two suicide attempts before I got serious about finding skills to cope that I could rely on. But they are universal and they work. Here are a few:

Realize nothing, no matter how bad it seems, will last forever. This is my Number One mantra to stay grounded.

Give up on the need to control the uncontrollable. We have much less control now over our lives due to the pandemic. So, accepting the things we can and can’t control is crucial.

Try to live in the now. Thoughts and worries about a dark and uncertain future lead to despair.

Create a routine. Be as consistent as you can with healthy diet habits, sufficient sleep, and exercise. When you are lost in crazy, a routine can give you a map out. However, make sure the routine is achievable.

Give up “the guilts.” They draw you into the past and away from the real task at hand — surviving the now.

Regrets, like “the guilts,” are unhelpful. They keep us living in the past. During bleak times, if we stay stuck there, we often exaggerate the negatives and our mistakes.

It’s okay to check out if you have to. Binge-watching, binge eating, and, even the occasional bout of binge drinking, are forgivable — as long as you see them for the negative coping mechanisms they are.

Try not to look for someone or something to blame. That implies there is a way to “fix things” when the only fix may be time and patience.

Share your fears and the unthinkable becomes far less frightening. Asking for help shows strength, not weakness.

I hope people who survive the journey through pandemic darkness keep up a dialogue with people like me. I hope that connection will help everyone realize “normals” and “crazies” are not that different. If that one change could spring from the sadness and grief we are living through now, it would be a remarkable gift from a dark time.