A Writer’s Folly
By: Harry Hogg
Tags: Writing, Fiction, Letters, Fantasy, Relationships

Hi,

My name is unimportant. I am a 38-year-old woman living in Hawaii, and over the past year, I have got to know your husband through our correspondence. I understand from reading his last letter that you are divorcing him? I want you to know he said goodbye to me. He said you had uncovered letters on his computer between him and me.

Maybe you believe such letters are only the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps you think your husband is having an extra-marital affair. If he is, it is not with me. That said, I have received many communications from him. Your husband and I, however, have never met. It must be upsetting that our letters had become intimate, perhaps a better word is romantic.

When I think about it, Richard had never lead me to believe he had feelings for me. There was always a ‘mystical’ distance written into his letters. And yes, his words to me were fabulous, mixed with excitement, romance, and, it’s true, sometimes erotic and sensual.

I choose to think you have no understanding of what Richard was doing in writing to me, another woman. I will always be thankful for his letters and deeply regretful that receiving such messages may be the cause of your decision to separate, even divorce.

I write only that I might help you understand.

A year after my husband died, I read a moving story on Medium. It felt like the author knew me. I mean, really knew me. His words, frankly, spoke to my heart. On one day, a long and dull day, I struggled to come to terms with living alone. It had always been difficult, but on this day I felt suicidal. I cannot give a reason other than loneliness, but I sat down and wrote to the author. I wrote my heart, I really did, telling him how much his stories had moved me from the idea of doing harm to myself. I never expected a reply.

I’m not saying that I didn’t fall in love with the man through his writing, I suspect I did, but there was never any way he was going to allow me the chance to meet.

Richard was helping me see a way out of my own misery and low self-esteem. His letters were better than any prescribed medicine. For over a year, he wrote, dismissing my requests to meet him, and to this day I have no idea what your husband looks like.

I know this, he gave me back life, a way of thinking through my problems. I felt like a woman strong in the world. I understand that he couldn’t give more of himself because he had already given it to you.

I am confused, hurt, and sorry that something I inspired him to do is the reason you are having issues of trust.

You are married to a compassionate man, a man, it seems, who cannot resist helping ‘stranded’ women. I will keep his letters all my life, knowing that these letters brought me through a terrible time. Going through them, I can see that his intention was never to meet me. He had no interest in me that way. He had a love of writing, and I allowed him to express himself artistically. Perhaps you have those letters and others, too.

I cannot tell you don’t divorce, don’t split up, because I am not in your shoes and if I were, I don’t know how I would feel. Richard is different, and he understands what women go through when lonely. He could easily be misconstrued as a predator. But not at all.

I can only imagine you, too, love what he writes. It must be tough to accept that other women can love him for who they believe him to be. I do miss his letters but understand why I’m now not getting them. If I have contributed to your misery, then I am very sorry and very regretful. Richard never ever mentioned you in his letters. I’m sure that must be hurtful. That is perhaps his only wrongdoing. If there is any chance you might forgive him, please do. I think Richard has never met anyone who has read his stories. His letters were my life support and a way of bringing me through some challenging times.

I hope he can find a way to bring you through yours.