Just How Toxic has the Internet Become?
By: Jessica Kent
Tags: Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneur, Prison, Addiction Recovery, YouTube

When I began creating content on Youtube in 2018, I was well aware that I would be met with harsh criticism, after all, I am discussing prison, addiction and mental health. These topics are becoming less taboo, however, the haters online did not receive that memo.

As a content creator, I care deeply about what I do and how my subscribers feel about the content I put out. I want to hear from them, engage with them and understand how to better help within my niche as well. This can be very heavy and time consuming.

My channel currently sits at about 350,000 subscribers with an average of 1 million views per month. If I spent my entire day, just reading comments I would in no way be able to get to them all. Which in turn makes me feel awful because everyone deserves the same time and attention from me.

I was once told by a creator whom I respect dearly, to never read the comments. That advice is common among content creators, however, I wanted to create something different. I wanted to have a relationship with my subscribers, get to know them, understand their struggles and hear what they had to say. Over time this has become increasingly difficult.

One thing has always remained the same. The amount of negatively I receive daily. For me personally, I believe the good far out weighs the bad, however, that does not make living my life online any easier. I have received dozens of death threats, been told I am to fat, or to skinny, been told to take my own life and the list just goes on and on. It seems as though, trolling online, has become a full time job to some. Which begs the question, what is going so wrong in their life that they feel the need to attack strangers.

It would be foolish to take these comments to heart. They say more about the person writing them than they do myself. Nevertheless, I would like to understand how and why they seem so determined to bring others down.

Does this and ‘cancel culture’ go hand and hand? Are people just watching and waiting for us to make a mistake so we can be canceled at the drop of a hat?

When comedians, content creators, actors and influencers feel as though they have to walk on egg shells online, we all miss out. We are not getting an accurate representation of their lives which in turn doesn't help the average person with their mental health. Let me explain.

Phone addiction is a real thing. When we are on social media, it is natural to compare our lives to the lives we see online. However, that is just the highlight real you're seeing. Some do not post the hard times, their battles with mental health, possibly addiction, financial issues, struggles as parents or at work etc.

I am guilty of comparison as well. Seeing everyone's perfect pictures online made it so difficult for me to get the courage to share my experience in prison. The thought of telling the world that I had my first daughter in prison, was absolutely gut wrenching. I sincerely thought Youtube was for makeup, clothes, fun family vlogs and cooking. I had no idea that I had the power to make such an enormous impact, right from my phone.

One day, I pressed record. The first three months where very difficult. The hate came flooding in. Not just from the average ‘hater’ but from other content creators in my niche. Once a few creators decided they did not like me, I was devastated. I wanted to join the prison community and work together to help break down the stigma of addiction and prison.

I spent three months debating on quitting Youtube altogether. I ultimately decided that my message of hope, long term recovery and awareness was to important not share.

You might be wondering if there is a positive side to what I do. The answer is unequivocally, yes. Knowing I am making a difference is the only ‘reward’ I need. I also have an amazing group of like minded followers who are cheering me on everyday. They keep me going and are ‘with me’ in everything I do.

Creating content is not for the faint of heart. It comes with a lot of pressure, daily criticism, cruel onlookers, unnecessarily mean comments and a moral responsibly to have be a role model to those who look up to you. However, if done with passion and sincerity, Youtube can be an amazing place to find a purpose and a sense of self.

Youtube changed my life and allowed me to believe in myself again. I have my subscribers to thank for that.