What I Learned About My Clothing Hoarding
By: Sadie Lee
Tags: Shopping, Hoarding, Ocd, Money Management, Saving

The two photos above are of the room at my parent’s house. This isn’t even my main closet. I have an entire full closet and chested drawers at my condo, where I even have 1/4 of my boyfriend's closet taken up. On top of this, I have all the rest of my clothes at my parent's house. Oh, and these clothes in the photos were after I donated about 8 garbage bags of clothes and then another bag of clothes over Christmas when I took this photo.

I can say this was a “hoarding behavior,” maybe not a true hoard by the DSM 5 definition. But I know that I have been diagnosed with OCD. A major component of hoarding disorder. The items I acquired became impossible to part with. Every shirt has a memory and emotional connection. I am also convinced that if I sold my clothes on resale, I might make some money. That acquiring clothing could be making me money. The reality is I bet if I sold every single one of my clothes, I might make about $100. This is nowhere near what I spent acquiring all the clothes.

If I give this away, the person who gave it to me might want to see me in the dress! What if I find the other sock? What if one day I want this again?

I still have my first bra, my first mini-skirt, and other weird clothing items that hold odd emotional value. My clothing hoard has gotten so out of control that I have been able to go 6 months without doing laundry before. It has been how I spent weekends, just acquiring more stuff and finding myself soothed with new clothing. I usually forget what I have and have to retouch every single item and put it in specific piles; I also have to usually enlist help for discarding items. My extreme thousand dollar spending, comments from friends and family, and my eventual debt caused me to question everything.

I Went on a Year-Long Clothing Spending Freeze.

A little under a year ago is when I finished my spending freeze challenge. This challenge was that I could not buy any new clothes for a year. At the time, my spending on clothing was out of control. I had spent between $40 and $700 a month on new outfits, rings, earrings, and other fast fashion items. It’s hard to quantify, but in the first year, I think I saved at least a few thousand dollars in the year I didn’t buy anything. Not accruing more meant that I had to take responsibility for what I had. I couldn’t just wear my clothes. I also had to wash the old clothes, dig them out from the bottom of hampers, and really face what I enjoyed wearing.

I reversed a habit.

After my first year of not buying clothes, I noticed that my habits also changed. I didn’t crave the mall anymore. I didn’t feel as compelled to shop the second I saw an advertisement or a glimpse of the new style. I also began to see owning clothes for what they really are: work. Laundry every week was tiring and stressful. I couldn’t shove piles of clothes at the back of my closet and buy new ones; I actually had to take care and ownership of them.

I watched my friends spending habits.

I had embarked on a spending freeze. I was actually hoarding. My shopping was out of control. I went to the mall to find the things I ‘needed.’ I also bought more and more clothing. The odd thing is either my friends also have OCD or hoarding, or the American woman spends an out-of-control amount on clothing. Three of my friends buy things online, totaling a few new items at least every month. These are the same friends who have heard about my spending freeze and haven’t participated. Friends who are on a “tight” budget. It reminds me that we all have a level of spending “compulsion.”

I Took in Free Clothes.

The reason I still have piles of clothes was due to the bags and bags of free clothes I took from friends. I have friends who are donating their clothes. I usually jump on this opportunity. Because of this, I continue to acquire clothes. This does allow me to save money, which is a good thing. But I am still acquiring more, and my whole end goal is a minimalist closet that I love. I have been working on pairing down items and acquiring them mindfully since.

I learned the value and appeal of clothes I love.

Having a bunch of cheap clothes, free clothes, and easily acquired clothes that allowed me to appreciate what I had even less. Shopping was a new one time outfit, not a staple piece that would complete my wardrobe. Learning about the harm of fast fashion on the creators and the environment, I don’t feel the same allure to a $3 shirt.

I have tried to see every item of clothing as something that supported fair labor practices, that I will love and wear for years, and something that won’t be easily replaced or discarded. Investing in really nice clothes meant I was actually spending less long term and place more value and possession on the clothes I do own!

I wish I had started sooner.

As I said above, I think I could have gotten most of my clothes for free. In addition to that, I try to imagine what would have happened if I had opened an investment account at 14.

I would have more than a decade of savings and interest. Even if half of the money that went to clothes had also gone to investment, I would probably own my first house by now. I can’t change the past. But every day since my year off from consumption, I have started to see my clothes differently. I have saved hundreds to thousands of dollars since, and it’s something I’m so glad I started the day I started it.

Buying more never made me feel like more.

I was always purchasing to feel richer, happier, prettier. The cost of putting on a new outfit often does achieve that desired result temporarily. But it’s always fleeting. If buying a new top would have changed my self-esteem, then it probably would have happened by now. Shopping was a constant illusion that I was achieving happiness. When really I was participating in capitalism, unfair labor practices, harming the environment, and not getting any happier.

Getting out of compulsive purchasing took work. I had to change my habits. My feelings around clothing. I had to analyze my values and financial goals. I had to change how I saw myself and my clothing. These beautiful photos in this article of shopping malls still get me craving a shopping spree.

But the impulse that follows is one that analyzes these thoughts and thinks of saving. Since changing my relationship to shopping, I have been in many malls post my year-long “shopping freeze” challenge, and I have walked out not buying anything, more often than not. I have gone shopping with friends who have purchased things, and I have walked out empty-handed, another feat that I used to think was impossible. I am freer, richer, and a more thoughtful shopper.

This article is for informational purposes only. It should not be considered Financial or Legal Advice. Not all information will be accurate. Consult a financial professional before making any major financial decisions.