How Burning Your Bridges Improves Your Odds of Success
By: Sunder Dragoon
Tags: Friendship, Life Lessons, Self Improvement, Career Advice, Social Change

How Burning Your Bridges Improves Your Odds of Success

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The age old advice is to, “never burn bridges”. Although this conventional wisdom is generally good to follow, there are times when doing the opposite may be the better (and possibly best) choice.

Do people seem to behave shadily around you?

Do people seem to welcome disaster?

Do people intentionally harm others or their work?

There’s more than one situation that merits permanent separation. Here are just a few that made the cut.

You’re Being Held Back

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There are too many situations where you’ll find yourself being held back by various forces.

When the CEO of my previous company asked me about my future plans, I told him I wanted to go to medical school. He immediately persuaded me to stay with various incentives such as advancement and pay raises. He made the deal so sweet that it would be difficult to refuse.

There will be many times when people see your value before you see it yourself. This is a good thing because it is confirmation that you are worth more than what you’re being compensated for at the time. Use their judgments of you to your advantage and build unbreakable confidence.

Leaving your company or your circle of friends may disappoint them and burn the bridges, but it may be just what you need in order to get to where you really want to go in life. At the very least, do your best to try to leave on a good note, and without exchanging any harsh words. If they still wish to think negatively of your decision, then that’s their problem.

You’re Constantly Suffering

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If you’re working a job that keeps creating problems for you, or you’re in a group of friends who only seem to want to see you fail, then it’s time to leave it behind.

You may not see it this way, but there are many situations and people who want nothing more than to see you fail. They could be stepping on you to get where they want to go, or they could just be toxic in general. Whatever it is, do your best to get away from them if you want to succeed, and if you want to keep your sanity.

You Get No Rewards (Or, They are Taken from You)

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A just and fair society will reward you for your efforts, regardless of your birth, age, gender, or anything else. If you find yourself losing out on rewards due to favoritism or other reasons, then do yourself a favor and leave.

You may have seen movies where people step on each other to get ahead in the corporate world. You may have seen people betray others for the sake of love. You may have watched business partners cheat each other. These situations are magnified on the silver screen, but they are often based on real situations involving real people. Anything can happen, and it can happen to you, too.

You Need Room to Grow

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If you find yourself unable to act or do anything out of the ordinary, then this is your cue to exit. Older companies and established groups of friends want to keep things the way they are; any change is frowned upon and may get you into dramatic situations.

You may want to start a business, but your family tells you it will fail. Leave them.

You want to work part time instead of full time at a job in order to have more time to work on other things, but your employer insists on giving you over-time work. Consider changing careers, if it’s financially possible (please don’t quit your job if you cannot survive without the income; make sure you can stay afloat or even thrive before you ever leave a stable job).

You want to pick up dancing lessons or skills that could improve your career, but your friends only want to go out drinking on the weekends. Don’t stay if you can help it.

The need for growth is a strong motivator and can “open your eyes” to a new world of possibilities.

It Just Feels Right

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Trust your gut instinct; sometimes, it’s the only thing that makes any sense.

As we grow older and change our ways of thinking, we also change everything else about ourselves — including our self-perception.

I was once a goofy kid who liked to joke around a lot, but with increasing successes, I was forced to behave more and more professionally on a daily basis, even in social situations. I was quite unhappy.

I found new friends and new acquaintances who didn’t try to control the way I behaved, who didn’t judge me, and who weren’t jealous of my accomplishments. Life became exponentially better.

There will be situations where you will also find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Take some time to think things through, or feel things through before making a decision. You may find that your gut was right all along.

Have you had to burn bridges in the past? What outcome did it achieve?