How Reading Only 1 Minute a Day Taught Me About Self-Care
By: Fei L
Tags: Motivation, Self Improvement, Goals, Habits, Health

This Is the Month When New Year’s Resolutions Fail

In January of 2020, I decided I wanted to read 50 books a year, just like Bill Gates. That sounds doable, right?

The reality is: I got busy. I can only recall a few days when I felt very motivated and had plenty of time to indulge in reading. Mostly, I would contemplate the idea, then get distracted. I felt frustrated or angry at myself for not getting into reading. I told myself that I was failing my goals.

Read 1 Minute A Day ONLY?!

Fast forward to November: I found a different approach.

I started taking a Udemy course. The lecturer began the course by saying, “I want you to only watch 30 seconds of this course, but you must come back every single day.” My first reaction was — did I hear that wrong? Thirty seconds a day?! Isn’t this goal too small? Isn’t it too easy? How long will it take for me to finish this course? Will I even learn anything from 30 seconds? I was intrigued and started researching the mechanism behind it. And that’s how I learned about Dr. BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model.

The Fogg Behavior Model (FBM) explains how motivations and ability change over time to start or break habits. Three elements must converge at the same time for a behavior to occur: Motivation, Ability, and Prompt.

Dr. BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model

In my case:

Motivation is my desire for reading books;

is my desire for reading books; Ability is how much time I have to read, or how capable I am in reading, or how I can access a certain book.

is how much time I have to read, or how capable I am in reading, or how I can access a certain book. Prompt is the thing that reminds me to read.

As simple as it might sound to read ONLY one minute a day, I failed at it. After reading one-minute a day, I’d want to push myself harder in order to feel fulfilled or rewarded. I was still beating myself up for not “doing enough.” As a result, I failed at forming a new habit. It became another “occasional thing” that I might do randomly, not consistently.

Show Kindness to Yourself

While I felt trapped in the negative cycle of not meeting my goals and feeling inadequate, my partner reminded me that it’s stressful enough to go through the pandemic; we should be kinder to ourselves especially now.

FBM is about being kind to yourself — recognizing that your motivation fluctuates like ocean waves, and no one can build Rome in one day.

It’s about stepping back from the urge to make your habit more challenging at first, because “easy” or “tiny” feels like it’s not “real work.”

It’s about recognizing and dropping the negative self-talk.

It’s about inviting yourself to become your biggest supporter and cheerleader.

It’s about imagining what that person would say in a tough situation: “I know you’re feeling all these negative feelings, that’s totally fine. Just keep going, one step a day, simplicity keeps consistency alive. You’ll get there.”

Tiny Exercise: Make Your Habit Easier to Do

Here are the steps I used to turn my goal of reading more books into a tiny habit:

Define the problem : Write down one habit to create.

: Write down one habit to create. Discover the difficulty : What makes it difficult to do? It can be related to mental energy, physical strength, time, etc.

: What makes it difficult to do? It can be related to mental energy, physical strength, time, etc. Breakthrough the difficulty : How would you make it easier to do? Maybe you can reduce the time, scale back, or use tools and resources to lower the difficulty.

: How would you make it easier to do? Maybe you can reduce the time, scale back, or use tools and resources to lower the difficulty. Start doing, even if you’re feeling indecisive: Then you can select top three ideas and imagine yourself doing them. Put your ideas into action and see what happens.

Then you can select top three ideas and imagine yourself doing them. Put your ideas into action and see what happens. Celebrate: smile, pat yourself on the back, do the floss — design a small, celebration ritual to do right after the habit to make it emotionally rewarding.

To read more books, I wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t take too much time from my regular schedule. The book also shouldn’t be too hard to understand. I started with a tiny habit of choosing a relatively easy-to-read book one minute a day. I then set up a prompt, which took the form of a reminder on my phone. I downloaded the reading app on my phone so I’d have easy access.

Every morning, I woke up and turned on my phone. I opened the reading app and read one minute. I exited the app, then I smiled and told myself, “You did great!”

A week later, I started noticing that I felt excited to read for one minute in the morning and to give myself some recognition. I became more confident.

Two weeks later, reading felt a bit more like a desirable part of my day. Sometimes I’d start thinking about what I read from the book, then take some time to write down my reflections.

Three weeks later, it became an even more routine part of my life. It’s almost like the habit of after I wake up, I’ll go to the bathroom and brush my teeth.

Sometimes I’d feel very intrigued by the book and I would really want to read more. I usually wait till later that day and make sure that I’m not trying to compete with myself or achieve more. I started to enjoy the pure joy of reading books. It started contributing to my happiness and confidence.

Be Your Own #1 Supporter

Growing up, I’ve always been taught that I should push myself harder, dream bigger, and achieve more. As Leo Burnett said, “When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.” It’s so natural for me to start blaming myself when I can’t meet a big goal. There are so many moments when I’ve been procrastinating forever because I don’t know what to do, leading me to feel inadequate. Often, when I’d run into a problem, I would think: if only I was smarter or had stronger willpower, I could learn something right away and do it really well. I just never felt good enough.

FBM is the exact opposite approach. It taught me to break down my obstacles into tiny steps, and brainstorm new ideas to overcome them. To actively map out the next thing to try, instead of steeping myself in negative thoughts. To realize that, yes, I can count on myself to be my own cheerleader and coach, my mental support.