When I Stopped Romanticising My Ideal Self And Became Her
Tags: Pinterest, Divine Feminine, Manifestation, Imposter Syndrome, Law Of Attraction

‘You know for years I am and always have been looking out for girls to idolize because they are things to look up to because they are perfect. Never have I discovered that girl or that woman. I shall be that girl.’ Diana Vreeland, former editor in chief of Vogue wrote that in her diary on the 12th of January 1918. Decades later her words still stick with me, as I am at the beginning of my gap year, using every day as an opportunity to form new habits, open new doors and mould myself into my divine being.

One way of practicing this is through the art of creating moodboards. Moodboards (a specific aesthetic, whereas vision boards are feelings) are scientifically proven to be a successful method to manifest and romanticise your dream life. Visualisation is key to reprogramming your subconscious mind to think differently and directly materialise your desires. Once you begin to believe in the power of the universe and the law of attraction, you will unlock a new part of yourself. Think of it as your spiritual awakening, where you no longer require validation from others and choose to be open to limitless possibilities.

My moodboards would usually be focused on developing my ‘dream life’, which included my ‘dream woman’. She was someone who was elegant, powerful, chic and sophisticated. Visualisation allowed me to mould my space and wardrobe into what I’ve always desired, but becoming this woman I’d created in my mind was the hardest part. I was so fixated on looking up to other women, trying to emulate what they did, I was detached from my true self. Learning about ‘the divine feminine’ changed this.

Harnessing the power of the divine feminine allowed me to trust my intuition and feel comfortable enough within myself to channel my inner strength. It meant no longer trying to break myself down to become palatable for the other people in the room. In a world consumed by Eurocentric beauty standards, viewing your own worth as good enough can be difficult. As women of colour, we have grown up being made fun of for our thick eyebrows, tanned skin and full lips in school; but now that ethnic features are trending, we are told we look white passing; because white women want to look ‘exotic’ and people assume we want to look like white women (we don’t). From the way style is socially perceived as a self-dynamic process, I’ve learned that trying to fit into what is expected of you and shrinking your full potential, is never the way to go. I’m telling you all now to kill imposter syndrome. Kill it. Imposter syndrome simply should not exist in your life! Why should you feel as though you don’t belong in a space you worked hard to be in, when the person next to you is only there because of nepotism or a trust fund? Exactly. No more imposter syndrome. Instead, step into a divine version of yourself, trust that everything is happening for you and leave the past behind.

I am learning, unlearning and learning again. I’m focusing on my own journey, blocking out the noise, and confusing the masses. I am only in competition with who I was yesterday.