Learn To Forgive Yourself
By: Precious Oguntunde
Tags: Progress, Personal Growth, Personal Development, Self Forgiveness

“Be courageous enough to forgive yourself; never forget to be compassionate to yourself.”

― Debasish Mridha

Is the subject of self-forgiveness strange to you?

A lot of times, people find it easy to forgive others who have hurt or wronged them but they ignore the emotions of hurt they feel towards themselves for something they didn’t do right.

This feeling of hurt oftentimes is the reason people remain on a particular level for a long time. They blame themselves and stall trying out new things.

We all mess up most times, hence we have to accept that we are not perfect and learn to forgive ourselves regardless.

Sometimes, you might find yourself cheating, stealing, gossiping, lying, being unfaithful, late, unhelpful, taking a wrong decision, taking a selfish action, nagging…the list of the human misdeed is long. We are not perfect!

This piece aims to help you understand what it means to forgive yourself and how it is so key to making progress and growth.

What Is Self-Forgiveness?

Self-forgiveness is the deliberate act of releasing yourself from anything you know that you have done wrong. It is the act of pardoning or not blaming yourself over what you know you did wrong which you could have done better.

Self-forgiveness is at the core of making consistent progress in life. One of the reasons we find it difficult to forgive ourselves or even others is seated in the place of our ego –where we feel like we are too good to make a mistake or we are too good for others to mess with us.

The Bright Side Of Forgiving Yourself

Unforgiveness creates anger, resentment, stress, sleep issues, and even physical problems. Self-Forgiveness gives us the power to move out of the past, into the present and gives us control over our lives.

Forgiving yourself breeds self-acceptance, progress and freedom in your mind. Imagine you offended someone you really love and they forgave you. It’s possible that even after the person has forgiven you, you might still have a hard time forgiving yourself.

If you dwell on the hurt long enough, you might begin to feel like you don’t deserve the person. Many other thoughts may also come up in your mind which will be detrimental to the relationship.

Self-Forgiveness Is Rooted In Self Love Which In Turn Births Forgiveness For Others

“If I hadn’t forgiven myself, I wouldn’t be strong enough to love someone this much.” ― Dawn Lanuza

Learning to forgive yourself does not just make you a better person, it also impacts the way you relate with others. If you have learnt to accept yourself as imperfect and still forgive yourself in your imperfect state, it will be easier for you to accept and forgive others.

If you understand your human imperfection, it will be possible to understand the imperfection of other people around you — your parents, friends, colleagues at work and even strangers. You will be doing yourself a great favour by accepting the human imperfection and living with it. Forgiveness is a gift of mercy and not of merit.

When you stay in the zone of “self-unforgiveness” you put your soul in a hurting state. Since your soul has a huge impact on the outcomes in your life it also impacts your outcomes adversely. You have to strive to keep your soul healthy always.

How To Start Forgiving Yourself:

Be clear on your misdeed Accept your imperfection Perceive your misdeed as a Tutor Have conversations with yourself Make amends And move on!

If you found this piece helpful, please drop a comment. Thank you!