I’m A Nobody, and That’s A Good Thing
Tags: LGBTQ, Life Lessons, This Happened To Me, Growth, Writing

Do you ever angrily stare at the screen after finding errors in your recently published piece? I do. Why didn’t I see that before? The truth is, only a few people are going to see that error. Well, at least in my case.

In this age of social media, young adults just like me look around at some of their peers and feel like they’re failing at life. Maybe they had to stop attending college for some reason. They could have chosen not to go in the first place. We look around at some of our peers blossoming in their chosen careers with nice cars, a nice apartment, and a pure bred puppy.

However, I promise you that puppy has peed on a pair or two of their expensive shoes and possibly pooped on their costly rug. I know; I once had seven of them to care for. Their life isn’t as great as their social media accounts display.

Social media accounts are simply curations. Most people aren’t brave enough to post their failures for the world to see, and nobody should have to. We don’t have to be on this stage acting out every chapter of our lives.

I’m a nobody, and that’s a good thing.

I don’t have 10K+ followers. I don’t have to agonize over how crisp my line up is or how white my teeth are or where how rare my Jordans are. Honestly, I’ve always loved being in the background. It’s comfortable back there.

Social media is a gift and a curse.

Creators now have these amazing platforms to share their work, build their audience, and get support. On the other hand, people are obsessing over likes, follows, and branding themselves into something profitable. Somehow “thigh gaps” became a thing that some teen girls and young adult women starve themselves to achieve.

Instagram, Medium, and Twitter have allowed me to grow as a man and as a writer. I’ve met some amazing people along my writing journey. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. At one point, I did fall into the trap of obsessing over stats and number growth. I had to remind myself that the right people would find my work in time.

Indya Moore, an amazing actor (Pose on FX) and phenomenal activist, read the article I wrote about her a while back and shared it with her fans. I didn’t get a big boost in audience from it, but I didn’t care. The fact that she liked it enough to share was more than enough for me.

Being a nobody gives me a beautiful opportunity to grow.

Take a look at kids in the spotlight today. Every mistake or chance they take is highlighted and pasted all over every social media platform and gossip site. Do you remember when Jaden Smith wore a skirt? Take a look at Dwayne Wade’s family as they unconditionally support his daughter.

Today, someone can fall in the classroom and become an internet meme. Everyday there’s a new clip of someone getting beat up or humiliated in countless different ways. Being a “nobody” is becoming harder and harder each year.

I get to fail in peace.

Some of my articles flop. At times, people don’t like the fiction I’m working on. This is my time to fail over and over again. Failure is a great teacher if you’re willing to listen. I wince whenever someone’s mistakes are blown up all over social media. What if that was me?

No one is giving me a hard time if a piece I write doesn’t do well. People aren’t analyzing my stats and trying to figure out how much money I’m making each month. Instagram has become a tool to meet and network with some amazing people from painters and writers to entrepreneurs and small business owners. It’s no longer a place to obsess over likes and followers for me.

If I stop in the middle of a story, a few people might be upset with me, but I won’t receive any death threats. I can write an inaccurate piece on accident, and I won’t be shunned forever for it. I get to fail freely.

I get to experiment freely.

If I wanted to write about cowboys or even a Red Dead Redemption 2 fanfiction, I could. If I wanted to write about a boy getting kidnapped and taking to a school of magic, I could.

I can write about video games one day and LGBTQ news next. I can venture out and take a more journalistic approach and see how that works for me. I can write fiction based on my video game characters.

This is my time to find what works for me, and I don’t have to do it in the spotlight. If people don’t like something, the worst that will happen is 1–2 negative comments. Then I’ll just write something else.

At my age, my job is to fail — and fail a lot. That’s how I’ll figure out what I want to do, where my passion truly lies, and exactly what my calling is.