Our 31st birthday
By: Tracy, Wolfbiss
Tags: Twins, Grief, Love, Loss

“If you’re looking for a sign, here it is.”

So much to say, yet I cannot find all the words.

I had zero expectations for my 31st birthday. Observing 2020 birthdays from March through December, I knew to set my expectations low. To say these expectations were exceeded would be a colossal understatement.

It all started the evening of December 21st when I logged onto Facebook and was asked if I wanted to create a birthday fundraiser. Just a few days earlier I had mentioned to my husband, Andrew, that I wanted to do something special to honor my late twin brother, Brandon. This seemed like an opportune moment to do so.

Facebook prompted me to select a charity and set a goal, so I sought out to raise $310 for the obvious charity of choice, the Henry Viscardi School, where Brandon attended for most of his life. The next morning I woke up, and saw that my goal was met and we had raised over $600. I was so happy!

Five days later, I am elated to share that over 200 kind hearts from the Wolfbiss-Cohen-Mechak community (and many kind strangers) have raised over $13,000. My family is so moved by the generosity and support of so many who contributed to honor, remember and celebrate Brandon on our 31st birthday.

As I mentioned in my original fundraiser note, the weeks and days leading up to mine and Brandon’s birthday are always the hardest. The anticipation of another year passing without him, after spending 27 years celebrating and wishing for his health and happiness (which I spoke about publicly a few years ago), can be unbearable. So each year my family sets out to ensure I am sufficiently celebrated and distracted when December 26th arrives.

With the pandemic this year, Andrew and I decided to head to Hudson, NY to spend a few nights to celebrate. And celebrate we did. After a fun-filled day of COVID-safe activities, we went to our hotel restaurant for dinner. We were seated in a private room, and while enjoying our dinner, a family of five was seated in the same room as us. Feeling slightly uncomfortable with the situation we proceeded to put our masks on and request to sit in a more secluded area.

As I got up, I took notice of who was actually at this table… turns out, it was Al Roker and his family.

While not everyone might recognize the co-host/weatherman from the Today Show, in the Wolfbiss household, because of Brandon, Al is the ultimate celebrity.

For some context, anyone who knew Brandon knew of his obsession with the Thanksgiving Day Parade. Those close to him and/or our family know we host a “Parade Party” at 8:45am on Thanksgiving morning with our own ribbon cutting countdown followed by popping a bottle of champagne, and the reciting of “Let’s have a parade!” (which is also what is written on Brandon’s gravestone).

What most people might not know is that on television, a similar (slightly less elaborate) ceremony is hosted by Al Roker himself, and Brandon had our family spend the days leading up to the event each predicting what Al was going to wear. (Think: Red scarf, brown jacket, blue glasses type of detail).

So tonight, I called an audible on our decision to change tables. Tears streamed down my face and my hands were shaking as Andrew convinced me I had to share Brandon’s story with Al. As the birthday cake approached and Al and his family began to join in singing happy birthday, I mustered up the courage to share all of the above with him, including video footage of our past Thanksgiving Parade celebrations. Al was engaged and kind, and asked what my brother’s name was. He and his family raised a glass to toast B with us (and I asked for permission to capture the moment).

I have always felt that memories are what keep our loved ones alive, but the signs give us the assurance to know they are okay and they are still with us. And my Mom always says, “there are no coincidences.” My sign from my beautiful brother, my other half, my twinnie, Brandon, was the ultimate gift. And it made our quite insignificant 31st, pandemic birthday, really quite special.

2021… Let’s have a parade!