2020 Gave Me the Best Gift
By: Giorgos Pantsios
Tags: Covid 19, Blue Insights, Self Love, Gifts, Coronavirus

This year is close to an end. A weird year. Weirder than I expected. When it started, it found me in the army. It’s compulsory in Greece. I felt like it was the best year to get done with this 9-month-torture. I have no job, and I’m not in university anymore. It was my last obstacle before getting serious with my life.

Then, Covid-19 happened and a quarantine. I was lucky. I was already imprisoned in the army facility so it didn't affect me.

The army forced me to be social. I was an introvert outside of his little safe box of loneliness. It shaped me into someone that didn’t feel like me.

I left the army in July. Greece was one of the countries that did well with the quarantine. We had less than 10 infections per day. I was living my free life for the first time in a long long time. I went on holiday. I relaxed and filled my batteries for what was coming.

Back to routine. I was full of anxiety. Stressful, trying to find a job, going on dates with girls. The environment around me made me push for that last one. I got the happiness of my friends all wrong. I got jealous of them instead of being happy for them. I was so eager to find someone to love. I downloaded 5(!) dating apps. I was addicted. Both with dating and social media. I needed help.

And then, it happened. Greece was looking bad with daily infections again. Worse than every other month. 3000 infections per day. A lockdown was inevitable.

I decided to give myself a challenge. I was never in a lockdown before, so I didn’t have to go through this in the past. I needed to try it. My introverted self wanted to try it.

Here I am, quarantined for the first time. It’s day 12 now and I haven’t seen anyone except my parents. Yes, I still live with my parents. And no, I don’t like them. Even more, I don’t love them.

I decided to add up to this challenge. I deleted every app I was using. I wanted to quarantine myself everywhere.

The wake-up call.

I was trying too much before the quarantine happened. I knew it but I was eager for something that would excite me. They say that things happen to us when we don’t expect them at all. My best friend was telling me that. Thank you for being here buddy. I should have listened to you earlier.

I stopped giving a damn about people — at least the ones that I shouldn’t give a damn about.

We made a bet with my best friend. He and I will meet only when this quarantine ends. It should be around a month from now, so let’s assume that it lasts around 50 days. He will tell me how much I improved. I believe that I am becoming the best version of myself.

I’m writing down my thoughts, and it feels wonderful. I realized that I have so much I need to say. And no one will do this for me, as Felicia C. Sullivan recommends. I knew that my passion is writing, but I only took it seriously when I gave time to myself.

I’m working out. For the first time since my teen years, when I was playing basketball, I have a routine. I keep my body healthy.

I keep my mind healthier, though. I read books, and I watch movies. I loved art but I never had the time for it. I’m learning the guitar. I never felt more productive in my life. Not even when I was working.

I realized I’m way more emotional than I thought. Even If I was alone for so long, there’s still hope for me. Crying at least once per day became my favorite relief mechanic.

Instead of hunting immediate results, I’m making progress to get them in the long term.

Instead of being depressed about another quarantine, I worked with that.