How to keep a man.
By: Olympia Cookey
Tags: Lovestory, Relationships

Growing up, I saw a lot of relationships unfold. A lot of it never made sense until I found myself having to make similar or exact choices.

My parent were never really together, at least not after I was born. So unlike most people, I never had mornings waking up in the same house as both of them. As expected, i was a ‘daddy’s girl’.

Before he died, he always talked about showing up for the people I cared about no matter what it’d cost me, as well as constantly hounding me to be punctual. I’m still working on the latter, lol. Loving him was easy, natural.

Then I met Arinze, cheesy guy. He made me laugh at the slightest chance. But we were too young to do many things right. I learnt to understand the difference between sweet talk and honest talk. One can never really get over the hurt from realizing they’re in a ‘bet’ relationship but kids right?

Raul was cute, honest and sweet. He was like an older brother I wanted between my thighs. Not knowing what to do with how we felt, we grew apart and I knew then that not everyone you have feelings for should be undressed in your sheets. I think he’s a dad now.

Obi. Spoiled. Hard guy. Freak. I think that’s where I picked most of my tricks. But as a free spirited woman, i had no future being a poppet so I sailed. But bad habits die hard you know. I wasn’t gold digging but after I found out about his fiancé, we agreed to trade pleasure for nice things. Well, when a man has the ability to afford certain lifestyles, the world is seemingly at his fingertips. I played the game and i understood the rules.

I learnt some Arabic off the internet after meeting Omar. Apparently, Asian men are very possessive but a sister was on full cruise so when he started talking marriage, I jumped ship. Lmao! don’t judge me, “I dey catch cruise, forget”. So since it was just sex (which was epic by the way), no hard feelings, i ghosted.

Odanchi, as he would occasionally call himself was pretty ambitious but wasn’t as good to me as he looked. It’s funny how some men get the impulse to ask their partners to alter a number of things about themsleves after getting comfortable enough. I suddenly become ‘not good enough’. I’ll do whatever I need to do to be a better person and it won’t be for anyone else.

From rebound to unconditionally wanting and desiring him in every way, Mrs Olayode’s son became the best decision I had made. Perfect in every sense I would have traded ‘whatever’ for him. We grew into each other but as everything else, we grow apart. Hard! The things they say that can happen due to distance is real. Take whatever advice you can from it. Some sacrifices are harder than others especially when the people you make them for do not realize it.

Big John is the sweetness man I’ve ever known. Gentle, kind, attentive, caring, unconditionally supportive, hardworking too. I’ve learnt to be selfless from him and just like that, he’s loved me. Several years now I’ve gone back and forth trying to bring myself to reciprocate the one thing he’s always asked for from me. Not a perfect man as you would imagine but the heart wants what it wants. You can either choose to love because you are given love or you love because it is what you want.

Godson, a special child. Lol, of course he’s a grown man. Hard guy, a force to contend with. Loved this one since our first phone calls but I wasn’t going to get my hands dirty in ‘the game’. Fast forward to later. Much much later and we’re in love. Least I am, I think. Talking about the future and routines. There’s something intoxicating about having a submissive woman. This woman is having a tough time figuring the easy way through.