Confessions of an Awkward weirdo: Labels
By: Syeda Shadan
Tags: Self Love, Weirdos, Self Esteem, Social Acceptance, Confidence

Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

You know you’re a Weirdo when you walk into a room and everyone who looks at you either looks away quickly or stares at you for an uncomfortable time.

Awkward weirdos are easy to recognize. They’re labeled. Everyone knows who the weirdo is. No need to say. Its stamped on our foreheads.

Fun starts when you embrace the label of ‘Weirdo’ like some esteemed title. Because I actually do.

Weirdos are good and fun only when they are not awkward. You can get along with their weirdness. Get amazed by them. Befriend them. Get to know them. Fall in love with them. Propose to them. Etcetera.

Awkward weirdos? We are disasters. God!

We are like screwdrivers and in the world it is not always screws, sometimes it can be nuts and bolts. We are like forks and the world is not always noodles, sometimes it can be ice-cream or curry. We’re like handles and the world is not always doors sometimes it can be walls or ceilings.

I mean. We function differently. I’m not saying we’re special or unique or mutants or aliens. We are unlike what society calls ‘normal’. It’s up to you to decide what your normal is. Everyone chooses what’s their normal based on what is more acceptable

Our normal is your weird.

See? It’s simple. We seem incomprehensible and you give us labels. Thank you very much. We save a lot of time because of these labels. When we do something you don’t understand , you can say, “meh, she’s weird.”

One time a strap of my shoe came off and I had to go home. So, I tied my handkerchief to secure it for the time being. I was walking down a corridor towards the exit and the warden was passing by. Now my gait had changed. I was lagging by the foot with the broken shoe a bit so I don’t disturb the knot much. Right when she was close enough to have a clear picture of me, the knot gave up. The shoe came off my foot. And I had to act like nothing happened. I had to continue walking, with my right foot bare. I looked like an ugly Cinderella who’d keep running even if her shoe came off. The warden looked at me as if she was expecting it. Yeah, laugh all you want. I’m weird.

Funny part of being labeled Awkward weirdo is that you can get away with flaunting some social rules. People be like, ‘That’s okay. They’re Weirdos. We don’t expect them to act normal.’

And that I believe is our superpower. We can be who we want to be without wearing filters. Like I can act like a potato without getting into a costume of it. And people be like, ‘she’s good at being a potato.” Thank you very much.

We are made of awkwardness. We function by it. We are filled up to the brim with it. And introductions are very essential for getting that Awkward Weirdo label. Cause once an Awkward weirdo, always an Awkward weirdo.

The level of awkwardness depends on our willingness to meet people.

Sometimes we want to meet someone because we’ve been observing them from afar out of curiosity (not stalking, definitely not stalking). We become enthusiastic. But when we meet them they are not always how they seemed. Okay, I did not sign up to meet with this person. I was imagining you differently. To cover up the disappointment, awkwardness comes to the rescue.

But if they come off as we imagine, our energy slightly increases. And most of the time, there is an energy imbalance. If we don’t find the same energy mirrored to us, we make it awkward. This awkwardness is more likely to be unintentional here but super explosive.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

Then how to reply to the ‘you too’ or ‘me too’.

You say ‘yeah I expected you to’?

Or you say, ‘Okay. You better be.’?

You meet someone in a formal party and you have to kiss on the cheek or hug them 3 times? Like here once, there once, here once. How do normal people synchronize it! You go this way and they too go this way. You bump your head with theirs's. If you hug them once thinking it’s over and they pull you to the other side. Then you realize its the 3 hug greeting. You end up with an awkward pursed smile that doesn’t reach your eyes which can be used as a meme material.

If it’s informal intro and a mutual friend makes the intro, it’s not as awkward as it might seem.

‘Here. Meet my friend Shadan. And this is Blah Blah Blah.’

Blah blah blah and I shake hands. I expect the spotlight to be taken off my face. But no. That rarely happens!

Blah blah blah starts a small talk and it spills all the imploding awkwardness out.

And the mutual friend disappears. I’m left with a stranger with no will to talk to them and tingling in my feet to run away.

Introductions are enough for us to show case our skills of being a legitimate Awkward weirdo. First impressions become a stamp label for us. Bam! And it stays on our forehead forever and justifies itself further.

Other thing that can highlight the label on our forehead is compliments.

I request all the inhabitants of this planet to not compliment Awkward Weirdos. We have less threshold to compliments and you’ll be hit with an avalanche of awkwardness.

‘Hey, you look cute today.’

‘Thank you.’

After that? Are we obliged to compliment them back?

‘You too.’ But they are not and you are lying on their face.

‘Nah, you look cuter.’

How do I answer that? ‘I know I was just saying for the sake of saying. You don’t look cute.’?

And if they really look cuter, then you go round and round the mulberry bush.

‘No, you look cuter.’

‘No, you look cuter.’

‘You.’

No, you.’

I think only awkward girls have this problem. Boys can sound literal and getaway. That can make the conversation way less awkward. Awkward boys, I think, has to put way more effort to be awkward than girls has to.

Most of us actually are avoided because people don’t want to be seen with a weirdo. That filters our social interaction down to only those who are comfortable with our weirdness. That is a lot less social interaction.

So most of us get our labels by demonstrating our weirdness in random situations. I mean we don’t intentionally do it but you know sometimes the weirdness just slips out and we can’t do anything except making it awkward.

I bumped into a pillar one day in my university campus. I was holding two huge books, assignment sheets and my notes which were loosely bound. All the stuff went down with a thud sound (because I too fell). Papers were flying, books were scattered, and everyone there was watching the show.

“You know, It’s been a while since I have inhabited a body,” I said untangling my limbs. And it was just my third day in the uni.

Society has labels for everyone. People stereotype everyone. Even potatoes, you know. Like in red potatoes, small potato, petite potatoes, etc.

And not every label is prestigious. You ever think if petite potato wanted to be called petite. No, right? Nobody cares about the labels of potatoes or humans or any labels that judges somebody.

But it matters to those who are labeled. Like Awkward weirdos. It bothers us so much that some of us top being Awkward weirdos. I hope we don’t go extinct. I want to continue my species. By the way my soulmate is out there pushing a pull door or reading the ingredients of a detergent bottle to avoid that kid from his high school.

I’m doing a humanitarian job by being an Awkward weirdo so those who are secretly awkward weirdos can get empowered and come out to the world. I intentionally make everything awkward in addition to unintentionally making everything awkward, to let everyone see that label on my forehead. Yeah, see that? I’m Awkward weirdo and I like being one.

The labels are comfortable only once we accept it. Otherwise it can sabotage our self-esteem. It can keep us awake at night time and overthinking at daytime.

When we look from afar, it’s freeing perhaps empowering to own your skin (and everything inside) and not be intimidated by labels.

For those who still struggle with the labels society gives us, here is some free advice I am not qualified to give.