The Year in Review
By: Nicole Ng
Tags: 2020, Reflections, Personal Development, Life

The Year in Review

I just thought this photo looked neat. Taken by me while thinking about life after work.

2020 has been an eventful year, despite months of it being spent at home. As the world battles with Covid-19, we still have our lives to lead no matter how constrained it is. If you are as privileged as I am — typing this post while well-clothed, fed and sheltered — then living life in a pandemic can still be fulfilling.

As a fresh graduate who started working full-time in January, my journey as a working adult has been nothing short of exciting. I found myself again, after years of neglect. It truly was a year of self-discovery. In my best attempt to make my review a chronological one, here are five things which defined the year:

#1: I broke up.

Yes, it was a sobering start to the year. It took me a little while to move on, but I knew it was for the better. After having spent close to three years in two relationships (each spanning 1.5 years long), I realized I didn’t know myself anymore, in terms of my purpose, plans as well as preferences. I had a lot of work to do to restore my sense of self, and that basically defined the attitude I started the year with.

The first lesson of 2020: Life is too short to settle down with anyone at 23 years old, especially when life goals or preferences were non-negotiable (e.g. wanting children). Settling down was the stable thing to do, but it made me extremely unhappy. Before it became an “in too deep, can’t back out now” situation, I ended it. I learnt for myself I wasn’t ready to give up for good the freedom that comes with singlehood.

Another thing I learnt, after much agonizing, was never to stay in a relationship hanging onto hopes that things will get better. They usually don’t, and it wastes precious time while making it harder to leave. It’s a vicious cycle.

With the resolve to stay single for as long as possible, I went on several dates and started gathering data about what I liked (or not) in a partner. It’s still a project very much in progress, but my findings so far have proved fruitful. Dating is a different game for everyone, and my rules are not yet fully written out. I hope 2021 will bring more insights as to what I can or cannot accept in a person.

#2: Quit my first job in the middle of the pandemic without an offer.

I was trying my damned hardest to be a good employee since it was my first job after all. I tried being good executive to my manager and team, as well as a diligent employee who put in more hours than I should have — way more hours. I’m talking work-till-6AM kind of hours. Being a naive first-timer, I thought that doing so would surely insulate me from any retrenchments or firing.

I was wrong.

What I got in the end was being on the list of people to fire, simply because the management wanted to save costs. So I left before they reached a decision about me, because I wasn’t going to let anyone decide my fate.

It was then I reached a turning point in my life — that businesses do not deserve dedication beyond the pay we get and hours signed in our contracts. No matter how much you think your management or manager will appreciate it and reward you in kind, you will either get rewarded less than proportionately or not at all. And usually, what happens is the latter. Because of this, I changed my attitude towards work and started to spend time and energy working on myself instead. All I can say is, it beats churning out Powerpoint slides at 11PM.

Which brings me to one good learning point. It’s important to have a side-hustle because your day job as a sole income source will never be sufficient or secure enough. You might find yourself fired for no reason tomorrow, and what will you rely on then?

#3: Learnt new skills and tried different projects.

After leaving my hectic first job for one that had more predictable working hours, I signed myself up to learn improv and street jazz. Yes, I was learning how to act and to dance. (A friend jokingly asked me if I was going on Broadway, sadly the answer was no.)

When we shake up our world with new interests, life becomes so much more exciting and fulfilling. By new interests, I mean something that’s totally unlike what you are, e.g. learning music as someone who’s not musically-inclined. As a person with no prior dance background and two left feet, I was so certain I’d hate street jazz after the trial classes. Finding this much enjoyment in dance was truly a surprise. It pays to challenge yourself, because if you win, you’ll benefit, and if you lose, you’ll still learn something about yourself.

Dance sharpens my mind and helps with my self-esteem. Improv trains spontaneity and wit. I can’t wait to see how these two will meet and create a whole new experience altogether.

Apart from new skills, I returned to old ones like drawing. I published my webcomic, Nic Nac No, and drew art to fundraise for migrant workers during the lockdown period. While I no longer publish my comics due to time constraints, drawing them was an exciting exploration as it was something I always wanted to try my hand at. Check one off the bucket list!

#4: Read a book that changed my lifestyle: Atomic Habits by James Clear

This book is to blame for my current obsession with self-help books. Before you roll your eyes, here’s a link to my after-thoughts of the book on my portfolio site. Self-help books aren’t necessarily pretentious or feel-good — when read right, they really do help!

As an outgoing person with an ever-growing social circle, it’s hard to keep social commitments down and focus on myself. There were many goals I wanted to chase but wasn’t able to. After reading the book, I started journaling and working out more. No, it’s not sorcery. I can’t believe it took a book to teach me this, but I started scheduling others around myself, which allows me time to work out, write, and work on my side projects. I started building habits like journaling which helped me become more aware of my life purpose and feelings. (See, restoring my sense of self, right there) Making myself work out four times a week was another huge boost to my mental health. It’s a never-ending journey to build good habits and improve myself, and I’m so glad I got recommended to read this.

#5: Made a ton of new friends along the way.

Joining improv and dance, leaving one workplace for another, along with many other ad-hoc activities (such as rock-climbing with people from interest groups) led to a huge number of new friends made this year. It’s insane, and I haven’t even touched on the ones I’ve met online. All of them have blessed my life in their own ways, be it their experiences, brand of humor, support, and I cannot be any more grateful to have found them.

It’s incredible, and I look forward to expanding my social circle next year. I revel in meeting new people and getting to know them, because each person has their own stories to tell. Similar to how one travels to expand their world view, I meet new friends to do the same, while hoping that my presence in their lives will bring at least some sort of good.

This concludes 2020’s Year in Review. It became a lot lengthier than I expected, but I hope it was enjoyable to read at the very least. It’s been a year full of adventure, introspection, surprises and disappointments, and I can’t wait for 2021 already. Speaking of which, I’ll also write about my 2021 goals in the next post!

Thanks for reading. If you liked what you read and would like to know when I post, drop me a follow!

(This article can also be found at https://nicnacno.substack.com/)