We Can’t Afford to be Silent
Tags: Social Justice, This Happened To Me, LGBTQ, Life Lessons, Activism

I stood at the front of my AP Government class with a brick of shame sitting at the pit of my stomach. To my horror, we were the only group that thought businesses discriminating against LGBTQ customers was wrong. It was one of the first stories involving a wedding cake and an LGBTQ couple.

My anxiety had a firm grip on my throat. I was still in the closest, and if I let my anger show it’d be just like coming out. Instead, I let one of my best friends crash and burn. She was the only one that was willing to talk. All of our classmates barraged her with questions she didn’t know how to answer.

I remember never wanting to step foot in that class again. I’ve regretted that day ever since it happened during my senior year. I’ve since apologized for not speaking up, even though it was years ago.

I should have spoken up.

I was in the closet, but I’d already admitted to myself and my grandmother that I was a transman. I remember being so angry during lunch. I was angry at the teacher for putting me and other LGBTQ students in that position and angry at me for not dominating the presentation like I could have done. I knew the most about it. That discrimination was against my community.

Once I started consistently writing on Medium, I began to realize just how powerful my voice is. I refused to remain silent like I used to.

I can’t afford to be silent.

Recently a group of trans women influencers was beaten and their phones were stolen while countless people simply watched. Just the other day, a horrendous, homophobic article was published in the publication Illumination.

My mentor and long time friend, James Finn, brought it to our attention. To say I was furious would be an understatement. Here was a publication I was willing to put my name under that harbored such a harmful piece. After an uproar with us at the forefront, the piece was taken down and the author was removed. However, that wasn’t enough to extinguish the flames of fury.

Some think we should have taken a different approach. One question stuck with me. “What kind of example do you think you’re setting?” Granted, during the heat of the moment, tempers flared. However, in this case, non-LGBTQ people aren’t allowed to tell us how we should feel or react. This question just kept flying around in my head even though it wasn’t even directed at me.

I’ll tell you what kind of example we’re setting.

James Finn has been an activist for years, and he’s done countless amazing things. We’re setting the example of a strong community that has each other’s backs. We’re setting the example of standing for what’s right, whether we have to stand alone or not. We’re showing pride and leadership instead of following the herd. We’re setting a damn good example.

If you’d told me I’d be trying to follow in such phenomenal footsteps, I would have thought you were nuts. Today, here I am, eternally grateful I got to connect with such a loyal, passionate person. I’ve been going to bat for him since my beginning days on this site, and I don’t regret anything.

I couldn’t afford to not show up for someone who’s honestly become family to me. I couldn’t afford to not show up for my community. I don’t care how many times someone claimed it wasn’t a discriminating piece. It was harmful to the LGBTQ community, especially the younger people.

I will always speak up for my younger LGBTQ siblings, just like I do my peer group and my older queer relatives. I speak up for them because I wished someone would have spoken up for me all those years. I speak up because I’ll be damned if I let my voice be silenced again.

LGBTQ people are still getting discriminated against, bullied, beaten, and killed. It’s not even legal to be LGBTQ in some countries. The price of silence is expensive. It’s more lives gone too soon. It’s more trauma, pain, confusion, and frustration. It’s suicide, depression, PTSD, and anxiety.

We cannot afford to be silent.