fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
You Don’t Know What Love Is
By: Galit Birk
Tags: Relationships, Heartbreak, Poetry On Medium, Poetry, Love

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Dissociation.
By: Andrew Wilson
Tags: Heartbreak, Love, Blues, Sadness

We stare through the cracks and the only things we can see are ourselves, well—who we were meant to be.

Anxiety creeps in on us like a horror story, We feel imbalanced when plagued by it.

We want to go down as the greats but we don't want to grow up,

Burning bridges and envisioning how it's like to fall of them.

Some days we feel better but on rainy days our eyes emulate this wretched weather, We want to run wild like animals but all we are really doing is act like immature inebriated infants.

One of us loves the other but we're too afraid to show it, imagine friends falling for each other. It's crazy. So we're bottling it up and telling the waiter to fill our cups with more liquor because it's better to hide your feelings than to be in them.

This ludicrously placed love thing can destroy the friendships we've so patiently built but every moment with someone else reminds me of the one I'm lacking with you.

This world is cruel.

When...If, we argue we'll watch ourselves lose our composure and temper, We'll say things we'd regret, Anxiety. This anxiety would tell us that we actually meant them when deep down we didn't mean them not even in the slightest.

The winged rats watch us from the sky in disappointment, They wonder how it feels like to love one another and at the same time have the inability to admit it.

But what if the love is one-sided and not as deep as it seems, what if we're at the surface of a friendship and not the deep of a relationship. What if we're better as friends and being anything more or less causes an imbalance in our friendship, I still feel bad for every argument, every slip of tongue and every word said in anger because in all certainty the words we uttered felt as foul as they sounded.

Friends argue and make up as we did, but what we have going on is it unusual? The way the stars align and form hearts when we stare at them, The way the birds chirp when we pass them and finally the way I have all your favourite songs on repeat.

This world is beautiful and we have it at the grasp of our fist. But do real friends actually exist.

Or are they figments of not just our imaginations but of also our insecurities—We watch the rainfall because it reminds us—You, that someone can feel your pain too.
happy anniversary to the day you broke my heart
By: Andrea Torres
Tags: Poem, Anniversary, Heartbreak, Short Poem, Love

your eyes, your grace, your laugh

no calls, no texts, no signs

your smile, your touch, your light

we were always meant to say goodbye

no happy ever after

no way it could be repaired

heart left bleeding

for a love you knew

you never felt

right place, wrong time

wrong person, right time

only one suspect

of a first-degree crime

happy anniversary

to the day you broke my heart

I guess not all breakups

have to make sense

you ran away so fast

from a love you knew

you didn’t deserve

now I’m left in the cold

alone in the dark

wondering how could I ever

love someone that hard

happy anniversary

to the day you broke my heart
Lovers → Heartbreakers
By: Saugat Acharya
Tags: Life, Love, Heartbreak, Relationships

We love.

We kiss.

We smile.

We deny.

We fight.

We frown.

Then lovers, now heartbreakers.

We never intended to be one.
This one sentence captures your entire message.
By: Rice
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Heartbreak, Advice, Love

This one sentence captures your entire message.

I’ve been there before. I even told her (less than warned) that I was feeling drained when she and her mother were around. They both had the same tendencies.

To her credit, I think she tried to change, but being an emotional vampire isn’t an easy habit to break.

Seriously, thanks for writing this!
“4am Thoughts”
Tags: Relationships, Heartbreak, Poems On Medium, Boys, Poetry

I still wait for your notification

Everymorning,

And stay up waiting for you to tell me

Goodnight.

-M.M
loving you, and losing you.
Tags: Hate, Letting Go Of Love, Loving Others, Heartbreak, Love

loving you, and losing you.

I can’t do this anymore. you are never where i am at. i’ve been so mentally and physically drained from not only my personal life but from the way i feel about you.

When your name pops up on my phone or I hear the sound of your name it’s an unexplainable feeling and I hate it. My heart races, my hands become sweaty, my stomach drops, and I feel as though I might throw up.

Before I met you, I had a lot of self building I needed to do. You came at me running, building my walls, putting them back up, puting what is broken back together. Now you’ve broken the last solid piece of me and I’m struggling to repair the damage you’ve done.

I need me again. I cannot find me and make a new, healthier, better me with the feelings that I had for you. I’m not saying that it’s your fault, it’s mine of course, I let you in knowing what you were capable of. but I cannot call this moving on or improving my mental health if I still get text messages from you. you came in and out whenever you pleased, it was killing me so I have to officially let you go.

I wanted to see life throughout my own eyes and go down my own path without any distractions. And you were probably the biggest distractions of them all. I never intended for you to take that personal but, of course you did.

I really couldn’t talk to you anymore. I still can’t, not then, not now, not for a really really long time. Because you made me feel the absolute most joy in this world, and now that it’s gone. At first I felt lost and broken.

You keep giving me false hope, something so I’d stick around to make you feel better. Though, the constant running in and out of my life was sort of giving me whiplash. I always let you in.

But now, I’m asking you to not text me at all and hopefully you can understand. I wished you all my love when you first left and I still do. I hope you find what you’re looking somewhere, in someone else, because. you do deserve it. You deserve love just not from me.

Thank you for teaching me that the worst sort of love is quite beautiful. When I am ready, maybe we can have a camaraderie, bond in the future, and only as friends. Wishing you the best of luck and lots of hugs

(i wish i could send this to him, one day i might)
Opia
Tags: Poetry, Heartbreak, Love Letters

Your word is Opia

-Opia?

Yes

-Definition?

Opia, combining form, denoting a visual disorder

-Could you use it in a sentence?

The opia is you, or at least it was. It was the way you loved me. Blinded by the smoke that poured off your lips I couldn’t see the red flags through the fog. You had me wrapped around your finger like ivy wraps a wall, like hair clings to a static-y balloon. The opia was the way you looked at me, the way you made me see myself. Any eyes that see me that way, that see me as art, that see me as beautiful, must be disordered.

-Opia. O. P. I. A. Opia

Yes that is correct.
I think it’s funny
Tags: Relationships, Heartbreak, Breakup, Dating, Love

I think it’s funny,

That you think you’re strong.

It blows my mind,

You don’t realize you’re wrong.

I gave it my all,

And you shut me down.

Ditching all my calls,

Not a single frown.

I think it’s funny,

I thought you were mature.

I mean for a guy who’s almost thirty,

Goddamn my judgement was so poor.

You can’t manage time,

Can’t cook or clean.

And even asking’s a crime,

It’s like you’re still a fucking teen.

I think it’s funny,

I thought you really cared.

But in the end you left me stranded,

And I stood woefully unprepared.

You can’t look back,

You broke that bridge.

The night you didn’t fireback.

And babe it’s not funny,

The way I waited.

For the guy I loved,

And that love stays unrequited.
POEM #1
By: Blessing Njodzi
Tags: Poems And Stories, Heartbreak, Poems On Medium, Love, Depression

Photo by Blessing Njodzi on Medium

The feelings in my heart can someone allievate?

Surely I tried thinking them away but they could not deviate,

The Asian man would tell me to meditate,

The Caucasian would say visit a doctor and conversate,

The Indian would say wait for time to heal and soon they will be late,

The Brit would say just have a drink, mate.

So what shall I do and whom shall I follow?

For in me I feel such a hollow

Shall I have an affair and no longer let it be a mono-

gamy, and say bye honey

Or shall I fight for it as did in Vikings, the man Rollo

Now I am fully sullen,

And shall I be more depressed than my woman who is barren,

Or more than a man who just lost a friend in Harlem?

Kiss me and tell me everything will be okay, Karen,

Please hush me, don’t let my blood gush so loudly

For as my heart bleeds, the devil feeds

So please save me from my pity, this undying perpetuity

I plead, I plead, I plead.
The mundane things destroy you in the most unworldly way when everything is over between you and…
By: Sahil Patel
Tags: Poem, Art, Heartbreak, Poetry, Love

The mundane things destroy you in the most unworldly way when everything is over between you and your love. And the beauty is, you will never know what will destroy you if you ever break with your current partner. Because the things which you think will, won’t as much as you expect. It will always be the mundane things which will fuck you up. And it’s so unfair, right?

Anyway.

—

Curtains

Chirping birds

Untouched curtains

A friends concern

A forceful brunch

An Italian cafe

Two lovers

Cliché scenes

A flashback

Numbness

A moment

An excuse

Power walk

A busy elevator

A lonely door

Roadway noise

Untouched curtains

—
It’s so much easier
By: Kevin Costa
Tags: Poem, Hemolo, Heartbreak, Love, Writing

It’s so much easier

To be mad at you than to be hurt by you

I opened my heart to you

And let my guard down

And uncharacteristically of me, threw caution to the wind

But you tore me up into pieces and poured salt on my wounds, saying that it is too little and too late

And I hate you for saying that, but maybe it really is too late…

Too late to have you, but also, too late to get over you

Heartbreak warfare ensued

You said we could be friends

Adding insult to injury, you professed your love for me then then recanted

“Does he love me or does he love me not?” I asked myself, unable to shake the question from my brain

Yes got me hurt and no feels wrong

So the only answer I can settle on is, “It depends on the time of the day.”

Since your feelings change quicker than the weather, I find myself taking whatever I can get

All I want in the world is to be cuddling with you

But as much as I’d rather be loving you,

Saying f*ck you, I hate you and bashing everything about you,

Like a shot of Novocain, makes me feel numb, makes me feel normal,

And makes the pain go away.

Kicking and screening I want to call out, “Be with me so we can be better together,” but also so that I can stop can stop hurting

Your words of kindness and your attempts to show you care, fall on deaf ears

I want to open my arms and feel your warm embrace

But not like this

So away you need to go

You blame me for finding ourselves in this situation

The audacity;

You too are to blame

I hate the blame game

But blaming you makes the pain go away and absolves me of my mistakes
I’ve never been in love.
By: Lianet G.S
Tags: First Post, Love, Heartbreak

I’ve never been in love.

I want to see what it’s like to feel sadness because of love. I imagine it would involve feeling like you are not good enough, not worthy enough and not lovable; I don’t think I’m capable of feeling such sadness. I want to experience a love so strong that I could get my heart broken. I want to be able to relate to those love songs and understand what’s like to be in love.
Bewitched
By: Fọlábòmí Àmọ Ó
Tags: Poetry Sunday, Relationships, Heartbreak, Poetry, Love

I thought

it was all

in the past

till I caught

a glimpse of you

walking,

down the road

I thought

I was okay

till I saw

the smile

I used to

dream about

every single night

I thought

I was fine

till I heard

that laugh

my heart knows

all too well

I thought

I was over you

till you called me

by the name

that was only special

when it came

from your lips.
Poem by Hanna Huff
By: Hanna Huff
Tags: 2020, Outcast, Heartbreak, Misunderstanding, Poetry

Poem by Hanna Huff

Understanding

Mislaid,

That’s how I feel right now,

It’s cold in the place of misunderstanding and I’m without a coat,

But not in my heart for you ,

Purposely, I’ve been cast aside like dead flowers but my warmth still lingers,

Can you feel it?

As I look down in the day it’s your shadow I see,

And in the bathroom mirror — there is your reflection,

I liked it because it made me whole,

I loved it because it was you,

Now I sit in the place of misunderstanding waiting for you to return with my coat
I’m So Glad You Don’t Follow Me On Instagram
By: Clare Almand
Tags: Heartbreak, Strength, Heart Surgery, Poetry, Blue Insights

I’m So Glad You Don’t Follow Me On Instagram

Photo by Erik Lucatero on Unsplash

I’m so glad you don’t follow me on Instagram

I’d hate for you to scroll through your feed

and see my freshly healed scar

from the surgery you didn’t know I had

I’d hate to get that 9-month overdue text:

I’m so sorry

I had no idea

How are you?

I wouldn’t have to craft

a response that reads like a paper-cut;

It doesn’t hurt in the moment

but it will sting later

I wouldn’t have to tell you how it went:

a fresh cut

on top of an old scar

is always messier

I now have four new scars

that you’ve never seen

will never see

will never kiss

but you didn’t kiss my old scars, did you

maybe you always avoided

the distorted pale seam in my chest

maybe I chose not to notice

Though I couldn’t help but notice

how your kisses always felt obligatory

your lips on my skin a means to an end,

not an act of affection

maybe my scar wasn’t the only thing

you found unappealing

— but who likes scars anyway?

I do

where you see frayed knotted flesh

I see all the ways I’m stronger than you
“LOVE?”
Tags: Falling In Love, Love, Heartbreak

When I was younger I always had this fantasy, this idea, of what love was supposed to be like. The wonder of how it feels to fall in love.

How it feels to have that person who is said to “complete you”

Now I get asked what was being in love like?

My answer is nothing like you imagine; there is nothing magical about falling into a trap.

Love to me; as I tell them, is a trap

Why trust someone that much when you can’t even trust yourself?

You need to grow within yourself; follow ALL of your dreams BEFORE you add someone into your life.

You need to be settled with yourself before you settle with someone else.

However, do not settle for someone.

Love to me is someone entering your life to not change it but add a little something extra that has been missing.

Love to me when you have it, it is real and there is no chance of losing it.

Love will be found when it is meant to be found.

I never had the belief that love was real or that being in love was.

Love, yes. Is a thing. You can love friends, and family.

BUT soulmate love, until it is found no one can believe it is real.

Now as I am older I have the fantasy of being me; living my life.

Because why would I need love. When I love myself.
heartbreak on the 17th of november 2019
By: Fatima Pasha
Tags: Life, Life Lessons, Self Improvement, Heartbreak, Love

heartbreak

/ˈhɑːtbreɪk/

noun

overwhelming distress. “an unforgettable tale of joy and heartbreak”

I had seen heartbreak in the eyes of my mother when she sat the three of us down and told us about my father cheating on her- on us; I had also seen heartbreak in the eyes of my sister as she hysterically ripped up clothes still fresh with the smell of her ex. I did not realise what heartbreak really was till I saw it in my own unrecognisable eyes staring back at me through my reflection- in the bathroom mirror and my mom’s vanity mirror and my brother’s car’s dewy windshield.

I cried after he told me he liked her during class on Wednesday. I cried while my friend held me right after trying to stop me from, well, crying. I cried sitting in a corner of my room with my phone next to me, ringing again and again with his caller id popping up. I told my mom I had a migraine, connected my AirPods, put ‘July’ on repeat and cried myself to sleep. I cried while I made a voicenote to my self, talking about how hurt I was. I cried while talking to him for 6 hours the same Wednesday trying to fix things. He said, “You’re my best friend and I love you the most, I didn’t realise this would hurt you so much. I’m ending everything with her.”

I stared blankly at my reflection while telling him that I would be okay with it and he should not have to do something like this for me. He apologised again and again and said he was just not good at understanding emotions.

He promised me that nothing between us would ever change.
This is not a story you want (I)
Tags: Poem, Love, Heartbreak, Crush

One of the founders of the ATOM, intensive care teaching, Private teacher, IT specialist. Love Green tea, Insomnia, Red Devils, Mary and being alone.
Today I’m reviewing a random playlist I stumbled upon while mindlessly scrolling on Tumblr earlier…
Tags: Indie, Heartbreak, Music, Playlist, Love

From the emotional rush of dreaming vividly of a crush and waking up to realise painfully that it’s not real on The Cures “Just like heaven” to Mitski’s melancholy plea for their lover to give permission to their embrace; that despite their longing they wouldn’t reach out to embrace them unless they consent to it in “Come into the water” and the lasting scent left on you for days that hangs around your nose like a ghost always reminding you of them in “The right side of your neck” by Faye Webster. The playlist manages to paint love vividly and colourfully, and describes it as it is, a fluid and wild emotional experience.

The portrayal of love across these songs took it from many different perspectives and depths, from a simple campus crush to long time lovers. Another nice illustration of this shaky affair of human intimacy was done by The Killers on their track “can you read my mind?” which shows us a persona that continually pleads with their love interest to read their mind before they go. The reason is left to us to decide. It could be that they couldn’t open up, or words failed to describe exactly how they felt. This was further shown to us in the lines

"woman, open the door, don’t let it sting, I want to breath that fire again".

One favourite from this playlist is “I love you but I’m lost” by Sharon Van Etten because it’s just beautiful, lyrically and instrumentally. It illustrates a failed relationship, wherein one person is on a journey of self improvement and they’re looking back at the way things were. They promise they’ll be back when they are better, but for now they’re lost and it’s better things stay the way are. I can’t interpret the lyrics properly because it’s really open but here’s one of the parts that stood out for me:

“Turn me into something great

If you know that that’s the only way

Promises that we forgot

I suppose that we were lost

Let’s turn it into something we can change

I love you but I’m lost

Between the pain and cost

I hold myself a lot

I love you but I’m lost”

Overall it was a good playlist, even though I only managed to add seven songs to my personal collection of liked songs; if you ask me that’s a decent number for a random playlist. If indie is your genre and you have had some experience with love, or longed for someone then I think you might probably want to listen to it too.

My takeaways from the playlist are (excluding songs I knew already):

Obsessed - Hatchie Just like Heaven - The Cure Read my mind - The Killers Come into the water - Mitski Right side of my neck - Faye Webster

And my two favourites (can't choose between them)
Cold Wind or Harsh Words
By: Simran Kankas
Tags: Winter, Heartbreak, Haiku, Night, Poetry

Learn more. Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

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When I'm Old
By: Liz Katz
Tags: Depression, Love, Heartbreak, Broken

When I am old I want to tell my kids I was happy

In a house I worked so hard to buy and a smile on my face

And I will tell them that it wasn’t an easy thing to accomplish

And if you ever say you’re trying, that I know you’re doing the best you can

I would close the door and continue down the long hallway with ceilings that rise into the clouds

As I slowly drift into my thoughts and go back to the time where I wasn’t happy

A picture of the green eyed, soft smile boy starts to form

Memories upon memories that I thought were buried start to rush back, fresh in my mind

The months that felt like years that I waited for him to finally want me back came to me like a sharp pain

The lowest I had ever been was back in my mind as if it had never left

Fresh as the cookies I had baked for him while he was working hard towards his dreams

The dreams that he didn’t see me in, but a version that was still in love with him

The version that was so broken she didn’t see a point to wake up in the morning

She felt as if her own body was fighting against itself like a never ending war

A battle that shattered her heart into a million pieces

The feeling was a cycle that started to normalize until finally I won the war

I killed the version that he fell in love with, the version that loved him back

My tears were like battle scars, deep and painful

I started to rebuild myself piece by piece picking up the destruction I called love

Then slowly the tears turned into smiles and the scars started to heal

What was shattered was glued back together and looked close to the original shape

I was no longer running back to a safety net but running away from a stranger

Finally I was the reason that I was endlessly happy

And when I am old, I will be happy
Not My Luck
By: Sincerely Seven
Tags: Heartbreak, Poetry On Medium, Poetry, Love, Depression

My heart is shrinking,

sinking,

disappearing.

The one you love;

It’s never enough.

Slowly becoming numb,

And this is where it’s coming from.

My heart is dropping,

flopping,

It seems to be stuck.

“You’ll never be gold in a mine”,

Just the dust in the wind,

Not my luck.
I Love You
By: Mia Twomey
Tags: Stay, I Miss You, Heartbreak, Love Letters, I Love You

I still love you. No matter how many times you push me away I’ll find a way back to you. If we really do go together like campfires and spooky weather we shall meet again. I feel guilty for kissing others and thinking they’re attractive because i feel as if i should wait for you should i not? if i don’t wait i accept the fact that we are done, but we aren’t done I’ll never be done with you. At the end of the day it’s you, it’s always been you. I compare everyone to you now in their looks, personality, speech, humor, i see you in everyone i meet because i only want to see you. you’ve left me broken and yet you’re the only one who can fix me. life feels dreadful without you all i want is for us to be us again. i know we can’t have that but in time we will. you are my person this just isn’t the right time.

follow for more :)
Over a year later
By: Sonia Protasio
Tags: Moving On, Adolescence, Heartbreak

First written on July 24, 2019

Over a year ago you constantly filled my mind.

Over a year ago you were all I could think about.

Over a year ago I had to lie too many times and say “I’m good.” when people asked me if I was okay.

Over a year ago I had to force myself to get up and go to work because that was the only thing that could distract me from the thought of you.

Over a year ago I would sit and wait, hoping your name would pop on my phone saying “I miss you.”

But that was over a year ago.

Over a year later you never cross my mind.

Over a year later, seeing your face doesn’t hurt as much as it used to.

But suddenly, you appear in my dreams and it all comes back for a little.

I wake up shaking, wondering why? Why now? I was good. I was happy. I was at peace.

Over a year later, I still find myself staring at my ceiling fighting my tears form streaming down my face but I don’t seem to be strong enough to stop it.

Over a year later I find myself hating you because I don’t hate you at all.

But it’d be so much easier if I did.
This is how I explain what happened those days…
By: Sona Aashika Janga
Tags: Teens, Heartbreak, Friendship Stories, Sad, Love

This is how I explain what happened those days…

It was a sunny day we all looked outside our windows looking at the green grass with our bikes thrown onto it, you know what scarp that it was the middle of winter in MELBOURNE, Let me say this again, it was a cloudy, grey day but as the kids we were we saw the light. The light tackling through the clouds. The sun refusing to be out shone. We saw ourselves as we took a deep breath in to forget the year behind us. It was exhausting to remember the past, but what would stop us. The regrets we all had, the relationships we lost. The days we wished stopped in motion were behind us. What could we do? Now let’s circle back a bit, regrets, regrets, regrets. As a high schooler we have a lot of regrets, as a high schooler we never take the time to look back and take a deep breath in. Because ‘we’re over it’ at least that’s what we like to think, but trust me if we all just sat their and forgot about what would happen if we ‘over shared’ we’d take a deep breath in..and let a billion out. We were all fake. Nobody would ever know us. We hid everything. Every living emotion was to be hidden. We’d seem like the happiest people on earth, sometimes we all just give up, that’s when our lovely home rooms go ‘are you all dead?’ I mean, if you’re asking genuinely, we’d laugh on the outside. But secretly hidden to the human face, we remembered. We remembered all the regrets we had all week all the things we’d have to face coming forward.

The promises we could never fulfil

‘I will never leave you.’ She said, friendship could crawl up on any unexpected person. As the flowers blossomed through spring so did friendships, some lasted some smothered through the eye of greed. Let’s start off with smiles, happiness and tears. Let’s start off with great friendships we build without intent, I mean not everything is as bad as it seems in high school, exaggeration is key. Two girls, met by coincidence? For the sake of this friendship we’ll call it ‘faith.’ Two girls met by faith, they didn’t know it then but, they’d grow to love each other more then they loved themselves. Without exaggeration, these two girls would speak, not the normal speaking. They didn’t force themselves to learn about each other. They grew into learning the other person, when they became friends it wasn’t ‘oh she likes what I like’ it was, ‘I want to be with her for the rest of my life’ it wasn’t ‘how are you?’ It was looking into your eyes and knowing you weren’t okay. So, two girls struck by faith, both innocent in the eye of friendship, no intent.
A stormy night
By: Ahmed Chattaoui
Tags: Emotional, Sad, Heartbreak, Mindfulness

Photo by Arto Marttinen on Unsplash

It’s so funny how we forget how a heartbreak feels, even though we experience it repeatedly, getting older and being stuck in our daily routines forces us to forget those ugly feelings and we learn how to live with them, until they blur out of our hearts waiting to be broken again.

I kept getting stronger and stronger, everything that have happened to me I took as a lesson and so I kept learning. sometimes I get tired and ask my self, when will my learning and strengthening be rewarded? am I ever getting from learning to harvesting some rewards? it’s so hard being always on the bad side of relations, It might seem as though I’m playing the victims role, but how can you explain constantly getting poisoned from all types of relations whether it being friendship or love, even robots’ battery life ends and needs to be replaced periodically and constantly. I’m stuck in some kind of an endless storm that takes without giving, one that destroys without ever giving back. how am I supposed to act when I know I’m needed, I can’t ignore a friend that needs help or advice, I want to close down my heart for sometime, just to take a chance to charge up — to feel like I usually am, can’t you let me be forgotten for a brief while ? can’t you hide me from all the scary noises? am I too needed to be left alone?
i cant give up on you.
By: Unique Girls
Tags: Emotions, Sad, Heartbreak, Relationships

i cant give up on you. No matter how hard i try, all the bad things people tell me i just can’t let go of you. i know you don’t care about me the way i care about you, you never did. Yet i still have hope that you are thinking about me, every little thing you post i hope it’s about me even tho it’s not. i sit here crying looking stupid because i can’t let what we had go, all the good memories all the firsts everything. i cant let it all go to waste. you don’t understand what i would do to be held in your arms one last time, feel the cold touch of your fingers upon my body. just to hear you say i love you again. you truly were my first love and i will never ever forget about you and the experiences we had together. i regret everything yet regret nothing. it just pains me to know you don’t care and that you never did.

you used me but how could someone fake emotions like that there was no way you just used me. how could someone fake the emotions you had i saw it when you looked at me everyone did you truly cared, what made you stop? was it because i was too sad because i had too many problems or was it because you got what you were waiting for? i’m waiting for the day you talk to me again even if it’s just a simple smile. yes i know things weren’t great towards the end and yes i know i was being a lot to handle but people tell me if you truly loved me or truly cared you would have tried to grow with me instead of giving up. i just wish i was enough to make you stay. i wonder the things you say about me, the stuff i was insecure about but you told me not to worry about. are you making fun of those things now? telling your friends i was easy or my body was weird? judging me for lacking motivation in life or not having hobbies. i cant bring myself to say anything bad about you. no matter how bad you hurt me or all the awful things people are telling me you said. i still love you and i just want the best. for you to be happy even without me but at the same time i want to see you hurt, hurting the way i am. i hope some day we will both be mature enough to talk to each other and at least be friends again, you were such a good friend to me but yet again you did like me the whole time so maybe you were just trying to get with me and didn’t want to be my friend. we share so so so many amazing memories together that i will never forget, i loved spending time with you and your family. i hope you can also look back at our memories as a happy thing and still have the same joy as you did when we were living in those moments. i’m so thankful for all the happiness and life experience you have brought me. from my first date to my first heartbreak,we experienced so much together in the little time of 4 months. sadly all good things come to end and unfortunately this beautiful thing in my life came to an end so quickly. i will learn from this experience and i hope you do too. i will make sure i will never put someone through the pain i’m in rn
Love as a teenager
By: Brie Quick
Tags: Teenage Love, Love, Heartbreak, Broken

Love as a teenager

When you’re a teen you think you know what love is. You think “being in love” is someone being or toxic to you. ​Constant screaming, arguing, fighting, blocking and unblocking you think that’s what love is supposed to be. You think love is constantly crying over someone because you think they are everlasting but they aren’t. You think just because you love them, they love you when in reality, at this age, they might just be keeping you around till they are tired of you. You feel that they only “love” you because you were easy to get and not for any other reason. You lay in bed for hours in the dark trying to figure out why they abandoned you after promising they were never going to leave you. In the end, you still believe that is what love is. There are countless nights where you lay wide awake thinking why you couldn’t​ do anything right to get them to stay. You think “oh that’s what love must be.” Now that’s how you think love is supposed to be. You think no matter how bad you are hurting because of this person they love you, even if they don’t show you. You want them to love you so you make yourself believe they do. You feel like love is someone wanting you just for sex or for your body but no other way, by the time you find someone who treats you like a person you’re too scared to let them in. And just like that you lose the love of your life.
Is Love truly worth it?
Tags: Hate, Heartbreak, You, Meaning, Love

Love, a mere figment of our imagination that has progressively become one of the most important things in our lives. It can make you crazy. I mean absolutely psycho. You’ll always feel the need to be with them. Even if it’s just a small gesture such as your hand brushing theirs, you’ll feel an outbreak of tingles coming from the contact point. Spreading through your body is a flood of warmth that won’t go away. As soon as you walk into a room your eyes will automatically roam the room in search of that special someone’s face. You’ll constantly watch every move you make as if they really are sitting right there, watching you.

The outcomes of love vary immensely, from an older couple holding hands on a bench in the park with the warm sun shining down onto their happy faces, to laying on your bathroom floor covering your mouth and holding your knees against your stomach as you struggle to let in a breath through your sobs. For me, it’s always been the outcome on the worst side of the scale.

The question stands, is love truly worth it? Every small, knowing glance that only you and them would understand. Every hushed whisper in the middle of the night as you both crept away from your dark houses to be together. Every laugh that erupted into tears as only they could make you do. Every small touch sending fire coursing straight into your heart and making your breath catch in your lungs. Every single tear that falls down your cheek as you watch them do these same things with someone else. Every time you sat in front of the mirror wondering why you aren’t good enough, comparing every minuscule flaws to theirs. Every single time that you sat on the floor praying that things get better. Every time you begged for someone, anyone to take away the pain you’re feeling. The question, is love truly worth it, can only be answered by the individual. Now the question shifts from me to you. Do you believe love is truly worth it?
The Rough Times
Tags: Storytelling, Heartbreak, Tough Times

We all go through those tuff times (break ups, job loss, a passing and etc). We can’t always let them get to us, i would know i’ve had my far share of it but after all of that i became a better and stronger person. Let me tell you a story that was once said to me, Once upon a time there was a young girl named Josephine. No one seemed to like Josephine they considered her as “ an ugly duckling, gross and uncared for” they would always bug and pick her. That year she lost her family, the only ones that were ever there for her through everything and after they passed she had no one to help her through, so she grieved constantly nonstop. Until she meet someone who was able to pick up her pieces and took his time to put them back together. Her greiving made her stronger it might have took her awhile but she became the women her family always knew she could be. The moral of the story is we will always go through hard stuff but we will always find a light at the end of the tunnel. We might even find someone along the way that will help you through it we just have to open our eyes to the right one instead of the wrong.
“Love"
Tags: Moving On, Heartbreak, Poetry On Medium, Poetry, Love

Are we still in love?

What is the definition of love?

love

A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. Sexual passion or desire.

Did you ever even love me?

-M.M
“Daisies"
Tags: Flowers, Heartbreak, Poetry On Medium, Poetry, Love

He loves me,

He loves me not,

He loves me,

He loves me not.

I counted the petals in my head

I knew the out come,

I just hoped i was wrong

Maybe he loves me.

-M.M
Missing Him
Tags: Heartbreak

Missing Him

It’s hard to wake up every day wishing the one person who used to know everything about you was there when you opened your eyes. It’s hard to go through the day feeling the warmth of their hand in yours slip away. It takes around 7 years for cells to completely replace themselves. That means that his touch will be completely gone in 7 years. It’s hard to go through the day without him. Not thinking of him. I drove around the roads we used to take listening to the songs we used to sing to each other. It’s hard to miss someone who didn’t want me. It’s hard to hear someone’s laugh be so similar and turn around hoping it was him. It’s hard to find an attachment to anyone because of how badly I still wish he was mine. He once told me that he wanted me forever. Wanted to marry me and see my face next to his every morning for the rest of his life. It’s hard to know that those weren’t real promises. It’s hard to know that he is telling some other girl that exact same thing. It’s been a year now. Living everyday without him. I thought it would get better but my heart still aches and my mind still wanders. He is the first thing I think about before bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up. If only he loved me as much as I love him. If only he knew how badly I wished his promises were real. If only he knew that I would go back in a heartbeat. Marry him in a heartbeat. Let him hold me in a heartbeat. A full year of only being with him in my dreams. A full year of pushing people away in hopes that he would come back and want me as badly as I want him. A full year of heartbreak. They say that it should take around three months for that pain to leave your body. Three months to move on and forget the life you began to promise yourself. Three months to love again. It’s been a year and my heart still sinks when I hear his name. One year and I still hope to see his name on my phone. One year and I can’t let myself move on. One year and I still miss him like it was day one. 6 years and his touch will be gone. 6 years and maybe this pain will be gone. 6 years and maybe I will love again. Or maybe 6 years and I will find him again and never have to worry about his touch fading away.
I added milk to my coffee this morning,
Tags: Sad, Poetry, Heartbreak, Emotion

I added milk to my coffee this morning,

As I noticed the dark coffee was the color of your eyes.

I used to look into your eyes every morning,

Now the memories replaced with a cup of energy.
A Decision Made
Tags: Relationships, Breakups, Heartbreak, Flash Fiction, Fiction Friday

A Decision Made

Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

“I’m coming over.”

The late night text from her surprises me as much as it does realizing I’m in my bed at my parents’, back in Wyoming, back in Michigan, a place as distant in memory as it is in space.

We haven’t talked since the break up, not the first, but the second, we can’t be doing this anymore if we’re not going to be together conversation, real break up. She gave me plenty of chances to reconsider, but I stood by my decision believing it was for the best, for the both of us, for the time being. I knew I could be losing her forever.

I unlock the door quieter than my parents’ snoring and pause to listen, their sound sleep persists.

She smiles softly and I do too. We say nothing laying together on the basement couch in the muted blue glow from the channel guide’s infinite scroll. My head on her shoulder. My arm across her body. Her arm around me and fingers running through my hair. She’s tender and warm.

She holds me like she did our last time together in my apartment, when we knew it didn’t have to be, but was likely our last chance to do so before letting go. When the only thing left to say was goodbye and even though we knew it was coming, we waited as long as we could in silence.

She presents her cheek and neck when I lean in to kiss her. I accept, gentle and soft, conveying I miss her without words. She isn’t mine to kiss anymore and I understand that.

She responds with a pleasant, “mmm” with eyes closed and a blissful smile, like she would anytime I did something sweet and unexpected that melted her heart, a little bit; a memory that breaks my heart to write. She consoles me with kiss on the top of my head and we fall asleep in each other’s arms.

There’s no missed text in the morning, just me missing her when I wake up in my bed, in Nashville, on the side that was hers, and it’s cold. I linger in it before getting up and making it again, like I do every morning.
O Heavy Heart ( Delores Collins)
Tags: Poésie, Poetry, Love, Heartbreak

O Heavy Heart ( Delores Collins)

O heavy heart that aches with despair

Lost, despondent, and left to die

O the soul that concedes to the pain

Inside of me that yet abides

Where is the joy that this life was to bring?

Days I would escape memories of the forgotten?

Hope is gone and darkness to swallow me

Like grass that blankets the earth

Joy, a facade; a mask to hide the plights

Of unrelenting torment

Wondering in the dark

Nightmares transmute reality

Seasons unchanging

The hand that is bitterness

Hold only misery and sorrow

Wielding its sword to fell

Every instrument of suffering

But, alas weary

Fatally wounded

I am, undone.

written by Delores Collins 2007
The First Love. Falling Out of It?
Tags: Life, Relationships, Heartbreak, First Love, Love

The First Love. Falling Out of It?

None of the stories of first love last forever. Okay maybe some do, but most don't even last long enough to fall into a long term relationship, let alone having a happily ever after.

But that's just how life goes on, we young humans are strange, fickle minded creatures too curious to hold on to one or maybe as the adults put it so subtly we are too immature to understand love so we let it go and set ourselves on a mission to fall in for broken hearts just to understand the meaning of love and call it moving on.

Obviously sometime in our life we do find that one person who makes it all work, or maybe it is never meant to work, who can say that? But do you ever end up wondering how things would have been if one of those events in the series of a budding innocent love, had gone differently. Would you still be where you are now? Would that love still be as important as it was years ago? Would life still seem as easy as it was with them, before the long chain of heartbreaks?

Sometimes I think it would be easier if we all just spent the rest of our lives with our first love. Not the person you were crazy about for months and they ignored you and completely crushed your heart, but the first person who made our heart beat faster and gave you the feeling of butterflies and inferno, the innocent feeling of belonging and most of all the unconditional love.

After all that was the first time we'd felt so special, they were the first person to make you feel that way, so that has to account for something, doesn't it?
THE UNLOVEABLE GIRL
By: Nora Raddant
Tags: Heartbreak

He looked me in the eyes and for a moment I thought I could feel his heart beating in my hand. A tear rolled down his cheek and I grimaced at the pain I felt inside my chest.

“I wish I could help you, Jackson, but I don’t know how to,” I said. He looked at the ground and said quietly,

“I know. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t express the pain I felt in this very moment. How do you explain the pain of watching someone you care about, lose themselves to the dark and lonely traps of the world. My heart was aching and my body was shaking. I had thought about giving up before too. I wanted Jackson to know that his pain wouldn’t last. I wanted him to know that I loved him. The truth is, I never knew how to express myself. My whole life was spent burying my feelings because I didn’t know there was any other way.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid,” I pleaded. He looked up at me with tears running down his face.

“I wish I could,” he said. It felt as if my soul left my body and I burst into tears. No, God, it’s happening again, I thought to myself. I couldn’t lose someone else I loved.

“I should go,” he mumbled quietly.

“No, Jackson, please don’t!” I begged. I reached out and grab his arm.

“You don’t understand the pain I’m in, Zora!” he shouted. I let go of his arm.

“I don’t understand!? I don’t understand!? What are you talking about! I almost killed myself and no one even knows! My best friend….he….he killed himself! My other friends are dead! If it’s not suicide then it’s the drinking and the drugs! Just once I want someone to love me enough to stay!” I turned around to get into my car, but quickly turned back around.

“ Just remember that I loved you regardless of your mistakes and that I was by your side screaming that night Asher found you on his bathroom floor dying. I never gave up on you, but you gave up on me.” I opened my car door and got inside the vehicle. I slammed the door shut and cried as I watched him drive away. What was wrong with me? Why didn’t anyone love me like I loved them?
#1
By: Hannah Schooley
Tags: Deep Feeling, Poem, Heartbreak

#1

The time is 3:26 am.

I’m standing in the place where we first kissed, the blissful memories spinning through my mind with a whirlwind of sickening nostalgia.

I feel small, sad, low

I miss you…