Dear Parents of Autistic Children,
By: Triple A S
Tags: Autism, Autistic, Autism Parenting, Autism Parents, Autistic Parents

We have been where you are, and we have wondered if our children were autistic too, and we have sat and been told their diagnosis is confirmed too.

We’d like to say congratulations on your child’s diagnosis! We know, that’s possibly not a phrase you have heard a lot — the diagnostic process can be very filled with negatives — so why are we congratulating you?

Well, simply put, because this really is a good thing. And we know that might be hard to hear with everything that goes on with being assessed for autism, but we assure you, this is not bad news. It is actually good.

It’s good because now you have a framework with which you can understand where your child is coming from. For a long time autism was presented as puzzling and difficult to understand, but we have come a long way from there. We know that there’s a lot of information about autism online, in books, magazines, all over the place, and it can be a confusing time. There are lots of mixed messages. As autistic adults, we recognise this and would like to help you understand. There are lots of autistic people who share their lived experiences which helps us to understand autism more and more. We have been autistic children, autistic teens, and now as autistic adults, we are here to share what we have learned along the way. We are now able to articulate better our experiences as youngsters and help you and your child manage some of the difficulties — like meltdowns, sensory overload, emotional dysregulation — we experience both as autistic children and as parents.

We understand you may be worried that you have “labelled” your child, but it’s a diagnosis, not a label. And your child has been autistic their whole life, nothing has changed. Those of us who grew up without a diagnosis had plenty of labels — naughty, rude, robotic, lazy, oversensitive, arrogant. None of these labels were true. But “autistic” is a much better description for us, and lets others know our motivations.

We can let you know that finding out we are autistic has been a really good thing for us for many different reasons. It has meant we have got validation and peer support from other autistic people. It has meant we can see that we are not built “wrong”, that we are not incapable, and that there is a whole community of people just like us. Knowing we are autistic means we can put supports in place for ourselves — we can plan in down time, we can take things like ear defenders and sunglasses out with us to help. We can talk with other autistic people and learn new strategies from them. You and your child have these same opportunities too.

We also want to let you know that for every autistic difficulty, there is a flip side that is really brilliant. Sure, we can struggle with sensory input, but we also get sensory bliss. We can get overwhelmed with negative feelings, but we also get autistic joy. Autism is not all bad, or all good. It just is. And a great many autistic adults wouldn’t want to be any other way, so it’s likely your child will feel the same.

It’s ok to be overwhelmed, but you and your child are not alone. You are part of a big community now. We are here to help and support, not judge.

Yours,

Felicity and Marion at One Stop Shop Aberdeen, Triple A’s

Website: www.oss-aberdeen.co.uk

Email: hello@oss-aberdeen.co.uk