Hurried decisions
Tags: Dissatisfaction, Change, Decisions, Questions, Endurance

When everything looks bleak, we are dissatisfied with the overall situation or can’t find a way out of our always the same, perhaps too stressful everyday life. Then a decision is needed. Because things cannot go on like this. Does that also mean that we have to change something?

The annoying activism

Changing something unfortunately also means to pull yourself together and make decisions that have various consequences. If I want to change my job, of course, I have to quit my current job, look for a new one, apply for a job, and maybe move to another city. Will my savings be enough? When do I have to quit my job, apartment, electricity, water, and gas? Are there deadlines? Or are we worrying too much about useless things? Is the job perhaps all right and the apartment far too nice to give up?

Decisions make work

Maybe that’s why decisions are so annoying and exhausting because we shouldn’t make them on a whim — rush them. We shouldn’t quit our jobs because it’s a bit more strenuous than usual or because we don’t have anything to do at the moment. However, a dismissal is justified if we are in a long-term phase of constant stress or endless idleness. It is also justified if colleagues misbehave and there is no improvement even after several meetings. But then we have already done something, we have thought about it and acted before we have made the final decision.

The suffering of passive endurance

Of course, no one should work in a job he doesn’t like. And no one should have to live in a city where they do not feel comfortable. But sometimes we have to do that and have to put up with the inconvenience. But when inconvenience grows into dissatisfaction, we should do something about it. Because we have to feel good in order to work well and live well. But we are afraid of the changes that our decisions bring with them. Because what we know is familiar to us. We know what is bad about it, but we also know what is good about it. To drop the old seems like a defeat to us and who likes to lose? Something new could also be bad … differently bad, even if it looked better at first.

When is it time to change something?

My gut feeling likes to be misled by some moments of a day or a week. There would be a stressful day when the boss was not very helpful and I myself had to make many important decisions and thus take responsibility. If something goes wrong now, it’s my fault. This thought accompanies me into the evening, into the night, and the next morning. At some point, it fades away, appears a few more times, and is suddenly gone. It should stay that way and the moment of dissatisfaction is over. But there is also this unpleasant feeling that has accompanied me for over a year since I have been living alone. I like to be for myself and I never felt lonely until I moved out. Now it is there, the loneliness and it sits on my shoulders like a heavy backpack. As soon as this burden no longer lets me get up, I have to change something. Then it is certainly already too late, but better late to change something than never to change anything.

5 questions for yourself!

We should be clear that a friendship, a relationship, a job, and a home are not always meant to last forever. And that is also a good thing! But how do I find out if I should change something?

1. Do you feel the fear, the dissatisfaction? Are you aware and do you understand that you are not in immediate danger of your life?

2. What would be the worst thing that could happen? What solutions could there be and who might help me?

3. Do you not change anything because you want to please others? What do you gain from pleasing others and feeling bad about yourself?

4. What is it that you no longer want? What do you want instead?

5. Can you divide the change into small steps? Not everything can be changed in a day, so take your time and plan ahead.

We should become aware more often that others doubt themselves as much as we do. Most of the time we do it quietly and secretly without anyone noticing. From time to time we talk to family or friends about our “problems”, but is it really a problem if I am dissatisfied with the current situation? Isn’t it much more a challenge we face and by which we can grow? We always come to a point where we don’t get ahead or know how to go on and unfortunately there is no recipe for how life works right. We can only try, fail, get up, and win.