Healthy Relationships: 3 Keys to Manifest a Long Term Love Life Immediately
By: Midori The Sea
Tags: Manifestation, Self Improvement, Wisdom, Relationship, Love

1. Let the drama happen around you, not with you

It’s a bit embarrassing for me that Charice and Johann have witnessed my continuous failures in relationships. They have listened to my rants and given me compassionate advice in the 6 years since we met.

But that’s the truth. I’m much older than they are, but I have had failed relationship after relationship. I couldn’t depart from drama, from having a mistress to being a mistress myself (accidentally…).

Charice famously said to me that I have had no peaceful days.

That’s so true. All the healthy and steady couples around me find pleasure in things they do, not with things happening to them. This is very important. They are doing interesting things together, and also separately. They spend time on hobbies that are healthy and productive. From baking to DJ-ing, their lives are enriched by the lack of drama.

Dramas in relationships take away our energy and motivation in doing things. From keeping ourselves healthy to work, hobbies and supporting our friends. It also damages trust and security, which is the foundation of any successful relationship.

How can you not let drama happen to you? Well, try the Jim Carrey method:

Actor Jim Carrey is famous for his films as well as manifestation technique. He seems to be a spiritual guru from a young age. What he did before he became famous was to write a cheque of $10m to himself. He believed that one day he will cash in, and of course, he has now made more than that.

Setting an intention is extremely important, you have to decide that all the drama must limit to the television you’re watching, not on yourself. Better yet, it’s probably not a bad thing to leave the dramatic reality shows for a while.

I made this intention solid when I was in Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village. I said that I will not have unfulfilling, crappy relationships anymore, and since then I work towards self-healing and loving. Now, I have manifested the current boyfriend, which is a loving, healthy and mature person.

It’s your responsibility to make your mind up, do you want drama or healthy love?

2. Develop emotional resilience

In every spiritual teaching, from the Holy Bible to the Buddha’ dharma, a key topic is the way we react to suffering changes the nature of suffering.

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.” — Eckhart Tolle

We must develop emotional resilience towards things that happened, are happening and will happen to us. A beginner’s guide can be found in Time Magazine:

When a family member of Charice suddenly passed away, she remained strong. By strong, I mean that she didn’t brush away the pain. She took a week off work, supported her family, allowed Johann to love and support her. She sobbed and hit the pillow with anger, and eventually, she accepted and let go.

The way everyone reacts to grief is not the same. But the key is to allow vulnerability to surface. This is the most healthy way to react to suffering.

This is particularly important when we are single. Friends’ wedding invitations, knowing your ex is in a new relationship, or even an ugly friend’s Tinder success can trigger us to negativity and self-doubt. So many people download dating apps at the moment of desperation, loneliness and jealousy. This is going to end up badly. An awkward one-night-stand with the wrong person will make us suffer even more.

Life is difficult, but don’t take it too seriously. Have a little bit of faith, develop resilience. By preserving a healthy space for the right person to come in, You will not create unhappiness with the wrong people.

3. Give kindness

Do you know what I was like when I was bitter about my past relationships? I became unapproachable. I flaked on my friends’ parties, I avoided seeing people, I slacked off at work. I focused on my sadness so much I became unaware of what’s around me.

Do you know what that means? I was not present, which means I ignore opportunities.

The right guy could be that handsome dude reading in the cafe next to you! The right woman could be that helpful nurse who takes care of your grandma! You don’t see them anymore because you’re blinded by your own sadness.

The best way to return to the present moment and not think about your own patheticness is by switching your attention to the need of others.

The best to receive love is to give love.

Charice is always there when people need her. I don’t know how she makes time, but she’s so reliable and quick in responding to texts and organising events. She makes things happen, she lets people in her space. She cares about people.

When you’re wounded, negative and mean-spirited, you attract the same kind of people to your life. An angry person is more likely to be harassed by a random crazy man on the street, a person without trust is more likely to be cheated on. This is not to pass the blame, just to avoid all chances.