9 Smart Ways to Deal With Fear of Rejection as a New Freelance Writer
By: Isaac Nunoofio
Tags: Newbie Freelance Writer, Rejection, Writing, Freelance Writing, Fear Of Rejection

Isaac is a freelance writer for hire who has faced the fear of rejection, overcome it, and survived being rejected for over seven years.

Source: Pixabay

Introduction

You spend hours working on your article, pitch, or story.

And then you send it hoping for the best.

But you receive the response, “I am sorry but…”

It sucks, right…

When a prospective client rejects your pitch, or when a publisher rejects your story, right?

It makes you feel as though time has come to a halt and life has stopped.

And you don’t feel like going back to pitching?

Well, if you want to succeed as a writer, know that you will experience, and have to deal with, many rejections in your career.

In this article, I want to show you ways to overcome your fear of rejection to help you persevere so that you can become a successful writer.

Look At The Big Picture

When you are rejected, especially when the opportunity you lost was such a golden opportunity for you to make money , you may feel that you have come to the end of your life, that no new opportunities may ever open up to you again. That can make you feel despondent about the future.

Personally, I deal with this feeling with three Bible verses.

Firstly, 1 Kings 19 where God showed Elijah that there were many ways out of his problem, when Elijah felt he had come to the end.

Secondly, 1 Corinthians 10: 13 where God promises to provide a way of escape out of trouble when we are pushed to the limits of endurance.

Thirdly, 2 Chronicles 25: 7–9 where God revealed that He can give us bigger, better opportunities when we lose opportunities.

These three verses tell me that my last rejection was not the final chapter in my life story and that there are more interesting. more enjoyable chapters waiting for me if I persevere.

Do Deep Breathing Exercises Before You Pitch

When you think about rejections from the past, and you start thinking that this blog post, article or pitch too may be rejected, you start to breathe shallowly.

Consequently, your body does not get adequate amounts of oxygen and an alarm is sent to your brain that your body is under threat. That can paralyze your thoughts and make it difficult for you to think objectively and you might procrastinate or avoid sending another pitch altogether.

To stop this series of events from happening:

breathe in deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth when the fear starts building up;

you might consider using the “5–8–10” technique-breathe in for a count of 5, hold the air in your lungs for a count of 8, and then breathe out for a count of 10.

Breathing deeply will stimulate your vagus nerve (the nerve that runs from your brain to your stomach). Stimulation of this nerve will make your body release stress-fighting enzymes. As a result, you will find it easier to calm down and you are more likely to think positively and take the risk to try again. .

Make Positive Affirmations To Yourself

Research done by UCLA psychologists in 2007 revealed that when you put your feelings into words, it produces a therapeutic effect in the brain and that can make you feel better.

Voicing out your feelings activates the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex region of the brain. This region, which is found behind the forehead and eyes, inhibits the processing of emotions.

Putting your feelings into words also decreases the response of the amygdala, a region of the brain is responsible for controlling emotions such as fear. Consequently, you will feel less fearful.

Saying something such as, “There will still be hope for me when I’m rejected. Rejection does not mean I’m a bad writer. Someone else will appreciate my work and my skills even if this client or website or publisher does not,” to yourself before you pitch will help to inspire hope in you.

Hope, knowing that most definetely the rejections will stop at some point, can help give you the filip to act.

Avoid Negative Self- Evlauation

Avoid thinking thoughts such as, “I’ll never get that job. My writing is not great.” A negative self-image can make you overly sensitive. This sensitivity will only reinforce your sense of fear, inadequacy, and insecurity.

These thoughts can generate and perpetuate other negative thoughts. And before you know it, one negative thought about yourself can lead you into a confrontation with an overwhelming host of negative thoughts.

Rather, think thoughts such as, “There is a client out there who will love my style of writing and the quality of my work. And if a magazine does not give me a job, it is their loss and not my loss. They will not benefit from my skills and talent.”

Laugh Before Pitching

Watch comedy movies in which diffident people face rejections, learn to cope with it, and overcome it.

A good laugh will help lower the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in your body. That will make you feel relaxed and you can manage nervousness and inner tension better.

On the other hand, laughing will stimulate your body to release brain chemicals called endorphins. The endorphins will boost your mood and make you feel positive about life and your writing business.

Plus, remind yourself of some of the things you feared in the past when you were pitching, but which never happened. Make jokes out of them and laugh over them. It will remind you that just as bad things you envisaged did not happen in the past, there is a possibility that your fears will not materialize today too and you may get the job.

Avoid Comparing Yourself To Experienced Writers

You are worried that you don’t have years of experience, right?

And sometimes when you read the articles of the popular, successful freelance writers, it makes you wonder if clients will be happy with the quality of your work, right? And that makes you scared to pitch, right?

Be careful of your rule of measurement. Don’t measure yourself by standards that other freelance writers, eBook writers, and authors esteem.

Yes, it’s good to research and know about what others have been through to help guide you.But you must always remember that their experiences may not necessarily be what you will also experience.

So value your uniqueness as a writer, and cherish what sets you apart from all other writers. Take justifiable pride in your past work. And believe that when you are given a chance, you will perform and meet the expectations of your client.

Do Not Let Past Rejections Dominate You

Memories of the opportunities you have lost come flooding back sometimes, right? You question yourself about whether your pitch was a quality one, right? You feel there is something wrong with you, right?

Thinking thus, “Maybe if I had done this…” or “Maybe if I had done that…” is fruitless. Thinking about things you can never change will only make you feel even more miserable.

Just reflect on valuable lessons you learned and resolve to go on pitching and sending manuscripts. It will help you to focus on the future, a future filled with more opportunities.

Balance Spending Time Alone With Socializing With Positive-Minded Writers

Some writers who are introverts, and who always want to be in control, do a lot of introspection. They analyze their rejections often and the constant analysis of themselves and what they are going through can become a pervasive activity in your life.

The strong sense of wanting to be in absolute control of your career can reinforce your desire to wander yet further the pathway of your mind. Unpleasant thoughts can stir up more unpleasant thoughts and that can bring to the surface fears and bad memories of painful rejections.

And the tendency to linger within yourself, to emphasize the lucrative contract you were not given goes on within you. And soon you feel that you may never land a high-paying client.

However, when you socialize with positive-minded experienced freelance writers often, and you learn ways they overcame their fear of rejection when they were starting their freelance writing career, some of their positivity will rub off on you and help you to see that things will change for the better.

Pray

One of the by-products of rejection is that it can make one feel valueless.That can inhibit the person who has been rejected from trying again because he may think he has nothing worthwhile to offer.

Consequently, he may suffer “pitching-inertia”- a reduction in the desire to keep pitching because he may be afraid of being “humiliated” again.

Prayer draws one close to God and makes him feel that he or she is loved no matter what he is going through. That can boost your self-worth and make you more open to trying one more time.

Furthermore, prayer induces boldness and courage. When you know that you are conversing with the God who owns every existing thing, and who created all humans and can influence hearts and minds, you can feel confident that He can influence some business or magazine to hire you.

Therefore, every day, say a prayer such as this one, “Dear LORD, I thank You for Your care, provision, protection, and guidance which have brought me this far. You are good all the time, God. Father, I fear I will be rejected when I send this pitch (manuscript). The experience of being rejected is so painful. Please help me to become bold and courageous. LORD, make ways for me. Amen.”

Points To Remember

If the fear of rejection is threatening your freelance writing business: