How To Make A Big Decision
By: Brandon Tumblin
Tags: Howto, Selfhelp, Stoicism, Philosophy, Decision

If you’ve ever been hiking in the woods, you’ll understand the feeling of being at a crossroads and not knowing exactly which road you should take. You can only really see maybe 50 feet down any of the paths, and after that it’s simply out of sight. The decision on which road to take is anxiety-inducing; how can you know which is the “right” path? Also, how can you know which roads are clearly the “wrong” path?

A similar experience is had when we are forced to make a big decision in our lives. These can range from which college to go to all the way to when you should retire and anywhere in between. What seems to make these decisions so difficult is that we can only really see so far ahead. In other words, we can see the short-term consequences but not so much the long-term consequences.

Spoiler alert: there is no way of knowing for sure. That is something that simply must be accepted. However, at the same time there are certain shifts in perspective which can put you more at ease when it comes to making such a life-changing decision.

First, realize that there is no one path. To go back to our hiking example, clearly there is more than one, and the truth is that each path will give you its own challenges and rewards. Certainly, some will be more harsh and unforgiving, and others will reward you more for less work. However, it isn’t clear in any case which road is the best.

A good thing to realize in such situations is that your life isn’t linear and it doesn’t need to be. If, by chance, you make a wrong decision right now, you can always go back and go down a different road later. For example, if you start with an engineering degree, you can switch to kinesiology. Sure, you may be a few years older, but you are also a few years wiser and have a better perspective now on what you want.

Second, try not to think about what you choose to do or what you will get in the end, but rather who you will become in the process of it. An easy trap that we all fall into is the one of “what job will this degree get me?” or “am I going to make more money in that city?”. We tend to focus so much on what we will get in return while ignoring the most important decision-making variable: how it will change us as people.

Certainly, every path will change us in some way and it’s up to us to determine which path will most likely help us grow into the person we want to become. Remember, a degree is just a piece of paper with some ink on it; it in no way represents what you have learned along the way and the person you have become as a result.

Coming To Terms With Your Decisions

Once you’ve made your decision, whatever that decision happens to be, it can sometimes be daunting initially. We’re in this boat now, and we certainly have some obligation to stay on the boat for a certain amount of time. Things do take time, and you owe it to yourself to give your decision a real chance to prove itself to be a good one.

During those first few steps in which you are looking ahead to the future there’s always a Tom Petty quote that comes to mind:

“So I’ve started out

For God knows where

I guess I’ll know

When I get there”

Such is the way. We never truly know where we are going until we get there. Sure, we can see the top of the mountain for miles around the base, and we know that that’s our destination but until we actually arrive and get the amazing opportunity to experience such elevation and views, we really don’t know what it will be like.

When I started my engineering degree, I was so intimidated by the extremely smart professors and senior students. I remember thinking to myself how it would be possible for me to ever get there. Well, 5 years goes by quicker than one thinks, and before I knew it they were calling my name to go kneel on stage and grab my degree.

All I could think about while heading up the stairs was that this wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be. Sure, I had gained a lot of knowledge and I felt more or less ready for my grad job, but I was certainly far from all-knowing. In fact, I felt like there was so much that I did not know.

I started out thinking I would be somewhere, but I didn’t really know. I only really knew when I was at the end, onstage being handed my diploma. It was great; amazing actually. However, it wasn’t exactly what I expected.

To close things off, I’ll remind you that there is not 1 path for you, friend. Just choose a path and dedicate yourself to it. It may not bring you to where you expected, but I promise you that you will find yourself someplace interesting with a grand view and new perspective.