Everybody poops (even at work)
By: Lauren Siegel
Tags: Compassion, Empathy, Mindfulness, Comparison

When the pandemic first hit our nervous systems were prepared. This is what they were made for. We went into fight or flight mode. We felt a collective surge of adrenaline. And we did what we do best: we came together, we adjusted, we met the needs presented. The kicker is that the dust never really settled. Our nervous systems have not been given the opportunity to calm down. And let me let you in on a little secret… our bodies are not meant to stay in fight or flight mode. We do NOT have infinite amounts of energy. And now, we find ourselves running on autopilot, with little sleep and increased stress and it’s just not sustainable.

Photo by Tony Tran on Unsplash

And although this crazy year is finally coming to a close, and we all have done our best to adjust to this “new normal”. We are failing to recognize that our needs aren’t being met.

Cue freshman year psychology class and enter Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow said that we are unable to fill the needs of the next tier until the needs of the former have been met or satisfied. The bottom tier, our physiological needs, are the strongest. These include things like our ability to find food/water/shelter, our ability to breathe. The next tier is our safety needs, which include things like employment and resources, our support system of family/friends, our health, etc. The two bottom tiers of this triangle are the biggest because they are the most important. These are our BASIC HUMAN NEEDS. And right now, they are not being met.

Brene Brown, a renowned researcher of courage, shame, vulnerability, and empathy, in one of her recent podcast episodes, discussed how we are operating from a place of fear and scarcity in both our personal and professional lives.

These patterns are oftentimes more easily identifiable at home, as it relates to children, or choosing which friends and family you see or don’t see, or having to order groceries online instead of risking exposure at the store. Those are easy examples to point to. But what comes up for you when I ask how this is impacting your work life? Your professional relationships?

I am a healthcare worker at a large hospital system. So unlike many, that are now working from home, I actually never stopped going IN to work. But regardless of where you are working, up to 1/3 of our lives is spent AT work. That is a LOT of our time. When our basic needs, our physiological and safety needs, are not being met, that is manifested through our performance as employees. How can we bring our best selves to work when we are concerned about our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of those we love?

And maybe the answer is that we can’t. And maybe the response to that, is “it’s okay!”. As organizations, big or small, and as work families, we need to name that. We need to recognize that. We need to understand the impact that that has on us, as a whole.

As a society we are constantly told to lean into work, to work harder, to achieve more, to push through. But not only are our personal gas tanks on empty but so is our collective gas tank. The bus that you can take sometimes when your car breaks down, the safety net you don’t usually need to rely on but know that it’s there- that tank is on empty as well. Yet we are still pushing. We have now all gotten OUT of the bus and are physically pushing it down the street, hitting every pothole along the way.