Thoughts of a mother — B(rea)est Feeding
By: Ananya Sri
Tags: Nicu, Premature Babies, Motherhood, Breastfeeding, Parenting

There are zillions of reasons for breast feeding. I would like to highlight three that I read somewhere -

The milk is always at the right temperature It comes in attractive containers And the cat can’t get it

I never had any doubts about breastfeeding but like they say ‘Life tests you with the unknown’. As we became proud parents of our warrior preemie baby who came in two months early, we were unaware of all the different battles that it would mean for us. I have to admit that the human body is a miracle, if giving birth is one of the biggest ones then lactation right after it, is another.

As soon as our baby came into the world and was whisked away into the NICU (Neonatal Intensive care unit), a nurse helped me to hand express the very first drops of breast milk called colostrum which is also referred to as the yellow gold because of its nutritious value due to the number of antibodies present in it. Since, Aarav was not in our arms but tucked away in a ventilator all wired up, ‘milk expression’ that is using hands or a machine to extract the milk out was the only solution.

Aarav stayed in the hospital for almost two months with a nasal tube for feeding that went to his stomach. He was so small that he did not know how to suck and breathe both at the same time. He was brave to be breathing on his own with his still very young lungs and thank God, he did not need oxygen supply for it. Therefore, it was only the sucking that he had to master. At the beginning he was being fed, 8 times a day and we could be there for max 4 feeds, this meant that we needed to bottle feed him. This in turn meant that I had to express milk the same number of times and store it. After which my husband became the milk-man delivering the milk to our baby in the hospital.

And hence, the cycle of expression started with a hospital grade pumping machine turning me into some robotic assembly line machine, with pumps and tubes attached to sterile bottles to collect the milk. We met with lactation consultants and got the expert opinion on how to do this best, all while I was enduring painful machine pulls on a tender part of the body. I had to go on and do this every 3 hours for at least 20–25 minutes. I then knew the importance of hot showers and nipple crack creams. I experienced engorgements and took Lecithin tablets on recommendation from a lactation consultant. Upping the milk production became the secondary aim of our life, primary being — getting Aarav home. My husband and I used to Google Keep to keep stock of the milk produced every time and calculated the daily production. But with all of this on, I still wasn’t producing enough to cover Aarav’s daily diet and was faaaar behind. Hence, all the ‘desi nuskhas’ / grandma’s remedies were tried with Indian food read spicy food, cumin water, jaggery and dry fruit mixture called ‘harira’, savoury dry fruit snacks, lots of lentil soups etc etc etc. My mother was diligently at work conjuring these up in our kitchen. While my husband, took the role of washing all the parts of the expression process (pumps, tubes, bottles) and sterilizing them 7 times in a day!! It felt like we were all fighting our individual battles while the little-est one endured the hardest battle in the hospital.

Although I knew better than to crying over spilt milk but I did have my fair share of crying, whenever a few drops spilled while expressing the milk. But as we continued on with the milk expression at home, my body and all of us at home got habituated to the process. I should say so habituated that Aarav decided to stick to the expressed milk, drinking from bottles and refused to nurse directly from me. He did nurse directly as well for a few times but I would say it was never for enough amount of time as to count for a proper feed. And hence, I became a pro at expressing, started doing it on my own, without the help of anyone else and later, started to even watch Netflix while doing. That was my Netflix and Chill, where I made sure to ‘chill’ the milk afterwards. Because refrigerated milk stays for 3–4 days and frozen stays for 6 months!

Despite everything, I could never produce enough which is around 150ml*Weight of the baby (in kilograms) / Number of feeds. This almost meant anywhere from 100 to 180 mls of breastmilk had to be expressed each time i.e. 5 times a day. The only way forward was formula milk and we found our best fit with multiple trials and recommendations from other mommies. We chose Hipp Organic, it suited the bowel system of Aarav and gave us reassurance of a no sugar label. Finally, after six months of milk expression, I stopped it and in replacement, started feeding solids — for which the challenge still continues!

Moral of the story — Yes, breastfeeding is great but every situation is different. So, what is best feeding is best decided by the mother …

… (and the father, the family, the nurses, the doctors, the lactation consultants, the mother support group, anyone who has been a mother or a father, family, nurses, doctors etc ….) — you get the point!

Happy Nursing! :)