I Tumbled Out of the Middle Class
By: Andrea Hazard
Tags: Divorce, Gig Economy, Income, Poverty, Covid 19

I am not who you think I am

By recent, I mean pre-COVID-19. In 2019, long before the world economy ground to the halt, my adjusted gross income was below the federal poverty level. You’ve probably jumped to some conclusions about who I am, but none of them are true.

The wood stove I use to heat my home. The door broke midwinter and I replaced it with a cookie sheet.

I did not grow up poor. My upbringing was solidly upper middle class. I spent my winters skiing at my family’s chalet, and my summers sailing. When I turned ten, my parents remodeled an attic bedroom for me and my sister, and when I turned sixteen they bought me a windsurfer.

I am not uneducated. I have a Ph.D. in biochemistry, a degree that, according to the U.S. Department of Labor Statistics, should yield me a weekly income of $1,883. In 2019, that’s less than I earned in a month.

I am not lazy. I work harder now than when I worked full time. I am constantly trying to jigsaw together part-time jobs, all while learning new skills to make myself more marketable in the hope of finding job security. At the same time, I do many tasks that would be unnecessary if I made more money, such as cutting wood to heat my home.

I am not unwilling. You would not believe the range of jobs I’ve unsuccessfully applied for. Heck, I couldn’t even get a job as a food scraps consultant, a position that involves inspecting garbage (guess the hiring manager didn’t buy my argument that teaching undergraduate chemistry qualifies as customer service experience).

How did I get here?

For much of my adult life, I had a comfortable household income well over $100,000 a year, thanks mostly to my husband. We could have had double that income, but, because of repeated episodes of parental harassment, I left my career and did gig and part time work instead. My pay was inconsequential, but it didn’t matter: we still had plenty of money.

Until my husband lost his job. He decided to use his generous severance package to start a business, while I exhausted my savings to meet our household expenses. I also did a considerable amount of unpaid labor to get his business off the ground.

Then we got divorced, and I learned some hard realities. I learned that, because my husband’s company lost money the year we separated, I was not eligible for spousal benefits. I learned that the inheritance my husband received from his mother would not be factored in calculating child support, and that the meager amount of child support I was entitled to would end when my daughter turned 21, a year and a half before she finished college. I also learned that willpower alone is not enough to get you a job that pays enough to survive, let alone pay for half a college education.

I need to emphasize here that my privileged background makes my life much easier than it otherwise would be. I had enough savings, post-divorce, to put a sizable down payment on a house, and I was able to borrow money from my sister when I needed it. It must be so much harder for someone without these advantages.

I decided to tell my story anyway, because if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. Based on my own experience, I provide some tips (unfortunately very timely in a post-COVID-19 world) on how to survive when your income disappears.

Tips for surviving when you go broke

Tip #1 Redefine necessary. Central heat isn’t a necessity. This is the conclusion I reached when, four months after I moved into my new house, my insurance company required that I take down the chimney for my oil boiler. To avoid spending money on an antiquated heating system or buying a new one I couldn’t afford, for the past two winters I’ve been heating my home with wood.

Other unnecessary expenses I’ve let go of include memberships, trash service, and cable (which, you could argue, is a type of trash service). I buy everything I can secondhand, including appliances, building supplies, and clothing, and I actually enjoy it more than buying new. What’s not to like about buying a like-new garment for $2?

Tip #2 Don’t hesitate to get help. I’ve always believed that other people are entitled to help, but never thought I would need it myself. For a long time I resisted visiting a food bank. Then it occurred to me that a food bank is a bank, and that for many years, I had been putting money in. Now it was time to make a withdrawal.

I believe that getting government assistance, like visiting a food bank, is akin to making a withdrawal: you take assistance to get through hard times, and in good times you assist others. That being said, government assistance isn’t easy to get. It requires mountains of paperwork, and the eligibility requirements are stringent and maddeningly complex. For example, this past winter I could not use a home heating assistance program because the elderly farmer who sold me firewood was not a “qualified” vendor (a.k.a. mega gas-oil-electricity conglomerate).

If you do feel guilty about getting assistance, consider all the contributions you made to society before your income tanked, and all the contributions you will make when you get back on your feet. Still feel guilty? Think about all the banks that got bailed out in 2008 from a financial crisis of their own making. At least you’re better than them.

Tip #3 Find the best things in life. Reading this ranty article, you might think I am unhappy, but really, I’m not. I am much happier now than when I was upper middle class, partly because I’ve discovered that the things I enjoy the most, such as walking my dog or riding my bike, don’t cost me a penny. The old adage is true: the best things in life really are free.

Honestly, my biggest challenge is being around people with money. For one thing, monied people have problems I can’t relate to, (tip to monied people: please do not compare your woes trying to find contractors to fix your hurricane-damaged vacation home to my woes dismantling my central heating system).

For another, monied people tend to want to do things that cost money. (another tip to monied people: please, do not say that a dinner is “only” $20. Twenty dollars is a lot of money!) When I am forced to spend time around monied people, I try to find ways to go cheap, such as ordering coffee instead of lunch at a restaurant.

Tip #4 Never give up The best things in life may be free but the basic necessities are not. I’ve exhausted my savings and can’t go on the way I have been. So, at the age of 54, I am going back to school to get a bachelor’s degree in medical technology. I can get this degree in two years, including one year of hospital rotations, after which I hope to get a job at a hospital lab.

It took me a long time to choose this path, and if you are newly unemployed I recommend that you take time to consider your options. Before you think about going back to school, consider what jobs you can do with your current skills.

If you do choose to pursue more training, make sure that any new skills that you learn are in demand: talk to someone in the industry, or talk to a career counselor. Then look for inexpensive training options, such as trade schools or community colleges (I am going to a state state university in commuting distance from my home). New York state offers tuition assistance in training for high-demand jobs, and other states may do the same. Once you have found a viable option, go for it!

Tip #5 Do base your worth on your income Being poor is not failure, and being rich is not success. Be kind to yourself and those around you and live your life to the fullest. That is all that matters.

For tips on doing cheap home repairs and inexpensive art projects, visit my personal blog, renaissancewoman.com.