The Void Stares Back
By: Anthony, Magebit
Tags: Psychedelics, Trip Report, Hallucinogens, Dmt, Mental Health Treatment

I knew there was more to see. I could feel the calling of the spirit in the back of my mind as time passed. I had this little vial of powder that I spent days, even weeks extracting myself. It was my reward. My ticket to the astral realms, if you will. Again, I have no religious affiliation. I have studied the Bible cover to cover. I have been forced to memorize scripture as part of a pentecostal cult. I KNOW the Bible… Let me tell you when I use the following iconography I am being literal to what I see and feel however absurd it may sound.

It was 3 am. I had been dosing MAOIs all day despite the fact that the DMT would be smoked. Perhaps hoping that having them in my system would still potentiate the experience? I am just noting this for posterity.

My 40 inch 4K monitor has a fractal loop video playing. It is gorgeous and hypnotizing even before dosing. I spend a good 20 minutes enjoying the fractal patterns shifting on my monitor. After I feel sufficiently at peace I begin loading my pipe. It is a small water pipe. I pour out the contents of the water chamber. I was told DMT binds to water and you shouldn’t run it through a bubbler. I cannot confirm this information, but for the efficacy of my experience, I complied with this arbitrary information.

I loaded about .2 grams of cannabis (hybrid sativa) and lightly tapped the little glass jar that contained my holy crystalline powder. Each tap conjured a sprinkle of crystals as it dusted the top of the cannabis. Once I could not see the cannabis layer anymore I resigned my routine and grabbed a lighter.

To my lips went the pipe and I gently brought the flame within melting distance of the DMT. I made sure not to make direct contact with the DMT. Only allowing the heat from the flame and the suction of the airflow to melt the DMT into the cannabis before igniting the plant matter from the buildup of air and heat. I inhaled like an Olympic swimmer and held it. The pipe burned bright in the night. All I had to light my journey was the massive monitor shifting through fractals and the light of the fading moon through my whole-wall window.

The pipe finally burned out. My lungs were full, but I could not feel or taste anything. All of a sudden I had to take a massive crap! I knew this feeling. It was anxiety telling me we were about to get the shit direct mailed to us. My ass was telling me to hang on. I clenched. The air felt as though it had been drained from the room and my skin went clammy. I began to vibrate with intense energy, unlike anything I had ever experienced. I felt as though I was coming apart. I clenched harder. Trying to hold myself upright in the chair. I was sitting yoga style with my legs crossed underneath me. I was literally holding onto the seat of my pants trying to focus… On anything!

The feeling that I had been placed into a vacuum was strong. I could hear electric shockwaves coming from inside the top of my head. It felt as though the crown of my head was electric and pulsating crackling energy upwards. I tried to focus while what little oxygen I had left in my lungs was fading. I began to realize I needed to actually breathe!

I inhaled and the monitor in front of me went black. The fractals were sucked into a black hole in the center. From the hole emerged a burning red eye. It was staring directly at me. I felt true terror for a second and then remembered all I had been taught by McKenna and Watts. I held strong and maintained my gaze with this piercing, all-knowing eye. It flashed and the sounds of mighty war trumpets blazed from overhead. It reminded me of the heavens opening up and angels blaring their mighty horns.

On my screen appeared white alien text that I had no hope of reading. It read in a verticle pattern I think. I can only guess as it was not in any way a font or writing style we use here in this dimension. It posted this information to me as if it was a warning. It seemed desperate to convey this message to me and when I responded telepathically “I can’t read that. I’m sorry” the text melted away and the horns blared again. The eye re-appeared and looked worried. It pierced my being so powerfully before it melted back into fractals. The DMT had waned from my neurons. I loaded up another bowl…