Lessons From Forty Days Sober
By: Glenna Gill
Tags: Addiction, Women, Alcoholism, Anxiety, Self

The day I stopped drinking for good, I was sick enough to go to the hospital but didn’t because I was afraid of getting COVID-19. My stomach was on fire with terrible cramps, and I threw up everything I ate and drank and got extremely dehydrated. I recovered in about a week, but then I realized I’d had no alcohol at all during that time. It made me wonder how much my symptoms were due to drinking, and the fear of going through another illness like that one gave me the courage to stop entirely.

Forty days later, I’m thrilled with my decision. I didn’t realize my stomach was so bloated until I lost ten pounds in short order. My face has thinned out. My energy level has increased, and my sleep is much better. Any cravings I had were mostly gone after the first few weeks. Right now, I can’t believe what an insane amount I’d been drinking. If I hadn’t stopped, I definitely think that it would have shaved years off my life.

Still, there has been my anxiety to deal with every day. It didn’t go away because I stopped the vodka. Without my safety net of booze, I had to figure out new ways to relieve my symptoms so I could be productive, and I had to learn to relax so my muscles didn’t tighten. Fortunately, I’m blessed with an awesome therapist who thinks outside the box. Not everything works that she recommends, but most of the time I can find a calmer place thanks to her advice. Here are some things she suggested that really helped me:

Inhale deeply but exhale longer

This is as simple as taking a deep breath in but exhaling longer than inhaling. I do this when I first feel the anxiety coming on. I’m not sure exactly why it works, but it hasn’t failed me yet.

Chase away the “what ifs”

My thoughts race wildly whenever I’m anxious, and inevitably a “what if” will sneak in. This phrase isn’t a good one under any circumstances. It’s based on future anxiety, things you worry about that haven’t actually happened. If I let one “what if” slip through, it opens the floodgates for ten times more. I’m a lot better at catching it these days, and when I do I simply release it and don’t entertain the thought.

Epsom salt baths

A bag of Epsom salt is only about three dollars a bag at Walgreens. Putting a couple of scoops into the tub and soaking in hot water for twenty minutes or so does wonders for my anxiety-related aches and pains. The bath itself helps calm me down, but the Epsom salt is the real miracle.

Download an app that tracks sobriety

I use the “Stop Drinking” app, although there are similar ones out there. I can see how long I’ve been sober, and it tells me how much money I’ve saved by not buying alcohol. So far, I’ve saved $240.31, which makes me feel sad I used to drink that much. The app also tracks your progress with improving your health. I don’t look at it every day, but when I do I feel proud of what I’ve accomplished.

Write in a journal every morning

Since I write for a living, I’m supposed to be doing this anyway. It’s a great way to organize your thoughts and even plan for the day ahead. Writing can also be healing. When something is bothering me, I look at the situation more clearly after I write about it.