Why I won’t make New Year’s Resolutions and what I’m doing instead
By: Hugh Culver
Tags: New Year, New Year Resolution, Resolutions, Goals, Personal Development

Lisbon, Portugal. Hugh Culver

There’s something seductive about making lists.

Like New Year’s resolutions.

We dream of all the changes we’re going to make — how we will be a new person in the New Year.

All good stuff.

The problem is about 80% of all New Year’s resolutions die on the vine and never make it past January.

That’s why this year I’m going to create a New Year’s Un-resolution list.

Instead of focussing on what I want to ADD I’ll focus on what I want to STOP doing.

It came to me while doing a renovation.

Good medicine

This year, my partner and I took on renovating our home. We started by adding a garage. That was major enough but didn’t discourage us, so we took on updating the whole exterior.

And now we’re inside for the Winter and using time when not working on our businesses to strip off baseboards, patch walls, and repaint.

Here’s what I noticed, over and over.

There’s something therapeutic about sanding down and filling a crack in a wall, or removing old shelving that collected knick-knacks and books nobody will read again.

For almost 20 years my eyes were seeing those cracks and cluttered bookshelves. The stain on the kitchen ceiling from an overly enthusiastic spaghetti meal, or holes where nails that once held a picture were removed.

With a little commitment, the distractions no longer pulled at my attention or called me to fix something. It was like an itch I’d been scratching (for years) stopped itching.

With every room, we are undoing years of distractions, history, and, in my case, a broken marriage.

It’s good medicine.

In the New Year, I want the same experience. By stopping doing I can create space for what really matters to me.

This is how I’m creating my un-resolutions this year.

Create your un-resolutions

Just like organizing a sock drawer — you need to start by dumping out everything on your mind from this year.

What happened this year? What changed, improved, got worse, succeeded, failed, and stalled at the gate?

Get it all out. It’s cathartic.

Now it’s time to pull out the patterns.

What do you keep doing that gets in your way?

I have a habit of getting lost in the weeds. Big projects that could make a big difference get subjugated by minutia. While I’m busy improving a handout or fiddling with some software I’m not going after a big sales opportunity.

What gets in your way? What are the cracks in the wall you need to deal with?

Once you’ve spotted the patterns, turn them into stop doings.

Stop doing instead of start doing

Try this on for size…

Instead of resolutions like “I resolve to lose 10 lbs by March 31”, agree to a stop doing, like “I don’t eat after 7 PM.”

What’s the difference between defining what you will stop doing instead of start doing?

“Start a ‘Stop Doing’ list. I’ll leave it as an existential dilemma on whether to put that task on your To-Do list.” — Jim Collins

For you, maybe it’s all semantics, like habits and routines. I think a commitment to stop doing is about opening up space, not adding another job to my To-Do list.

Stop doing is about forgiveness and moving on.

Stop doing is allowing for what might come my way.

Stop doing is minimalism; start doing is productivity.

For example, I have stopped bringing business to bed. Whatever I’m working on in my business stops at the door to the bedroom. My bedroom is a sacred space — I need it to be business-free.

I also stopped breaking my exercise promises. My workouts might change time, location, frequency, etc. But, once it’s booked on my calendar I’m there. In all of last year, I think I missed one workout that was on my calendar.

Stop doing ideas

Not sure where to start? Here are some of my favorite Stop Doing commitments:

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” — Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Stop beating myself up when I screw up (daily).

Stop waiting to pick up the phone (instead of email) when the conversation is important.

Stop telling myself I’ll be happier when… — instead be grateful for what I have today.

Stop worrying about what other people are doing (or waiting for them to change).

Stop making lists (except here, of course).

Stop obsessing over: news, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and celebrities.

Over to you…

What are you going to stop doing in the New Year?