What Has Alfred Learned in 2020
By: Jill Ebstein
Tags: Life Lessons, 2020, Humor, Family, Coaching

Coach: Alfred, good to see you. This will be our last time meeting in 2020. How do you feel about that?

Alfred: Good. My time with you is better than I expected, but I’m ready for a break.

Coach: You know, two opposite feelings can exist simultaneously and still be true. We call that “tension.” Like … you’ve been good with our sessions, and you’re happy not to have one next week.

Alfred: Yep, that sums it up. But I would say it differently. On a scale of 1 to 10, I rate you an 8 for being helpful. You know 10s are impossible, and 9 is exceptional, and you fall a little below that. On that same scale, though, my need for a break is a perfect 10.

Coach: Score! I’m good with 8. So let’s start with the usual. Since we’re working on humor, can you share 2 funny moments from last week?

Alfred: Sure. There is a boy named George who is tall, athletic, and always wears red Converse hightops. You know how you’ve been suggesting that I “wear someone else’s shoes.” So I asked him if I could wear his hightops during recess.

Coach: Wow, that’s kind of bold.

Alfred: Yes, it was. I thought of my favorite anime character — Naruto. He’s a young ninja warrior who dreams of becoming a leader. So I pretended I was Naruto and asked my question, and George said, “Ok.” Just like that.

Coach: Then, what happened?

Alfred: Well, George’s shoes were big on me, but I still got to run around in his hightops — only I didn’t run like him. He’s fast. The hightops themselves are tight around the ankle and super uncomfortable. And you’re right — George is kind of like his hightops — tight. He doesn’t say much, and he keeps to himself.

Coach: I don’t recall offering an opinion on George. <silence> Oh, I get it. You understood something about George when you wore his shoes… So the funny part?

Alfred: There were two, actually. When I tried to dribble, and when I tried to shoot. I failed miserably — so badly that we all started laughing.

Coach: Well, at least you could laugh at yourself. Not everyone can. I also like that you experienced exactly what I had hoped. You understood George — literally and figuratively.

Alfred: Well, kind of. I have one more funny story for you. Last Sunday, I told my mom I would make her breakfast. She was surprised since I’ve never done it before.

Coach: What did you make?

Alfred: I poured her Raisin Bran because I know she prefers that over Reeses Puffs, which she finds too sugary. I smelled the milk to make sure it was good. I poured her a glass of OJ. I took one of my Soho Globs and placed it on a napkin for afterward, and best of all, I kept her company while she ate.

Coach: Wow, now that is what I call “a generous spirit.” I’m curious, though, where was the humor?

Alfred: Well, we laughed that I “made” her breakfast. I just assembled what we had and put it in a bowl. We discussed what “made” really means, and I ended by saying, “Well, at least I ‘made’ us laugh.” Then we laughed some more.

Coach: Alfred, I’m super impressed. Now, I have to change topics and ask, what have you learned from 2020 — especially from our time together?

<silence> Alfred is thinking, head down. Coach is working not to fill the silence.

Alfred: Well, I don’t think it was an accident that, out of the blue, I decided to make my mom breakfast.

Coach: Because …?

Alfred: Well, my mom was the one who said I needed a coach. I said that I didn’t. She said that it would help me make more friends. I said I was fine. She said that I was better than fine as a person, but that I could be happier — that friends were great and that she knew so because she wished she had more of them.

Coach: Wow, I didn’t know all this.

Alfred: It’s not something you like to share. It’s kind of personal. Anyway, she was right. Friends are helpful. My lunches are better. I learned that my mom was right.

Coach: And did our time together help you build friendships?

Alfred: Well, as I like to say, “We’re trending in the right direction.” That’s the numbers’ guy in me. I eat lunch with classmates. I help them with their math. I know people’s names without writing them on my hands. And they call me by my name, which turns out to be my favorite word… Oh… and I’ve made my mom happy.

Coach: So, what’s next?

Alfred: Well, first, I need a break. You know … veg out, watch my shows, not think or do anything. But when 2021 hits, I’ll be ready.

Coach: Ready for what? Any thoughts about what we should work on?

Alfred: You’re making me think, and I don’t want to think right now. I want to just be happy that we’ve done something good. I mean, I “made” my mom breakfast. And now she knows that she was right when she sent me to you, and I know she was right.

Coach: Ok, we’ll leave it there. Thank you for being open with me. You know that is something adults can have a hard time with—being open. But not you, Alfred. Nice!