Seventeen Reasons Not To Vote For Kanye West, From His Own Mouth
By: Pam Gaslow
Tags: Politics, Election 2020, Kanye West, Humor, President

Photo: Kanye West Miami Opera

I’m sure Kanye West is a very nice person. But let’s be honest. Kanye is best known for his music, his famous wife, his mental illness, his colorless zombie fashion models, and his overpriced, depressing looking sneakers. He is also known for his infamously arrogant, ridiculous and out of touch tweets, as well as his offensive and disgusting rap song lyrics. Putting aside his bipolar disorder and the fact that he has zero political experience and that no one on earth can take him seriously as a presidential candidate, let’s base our judgments solely on the words that this insane egomaniac himself has shamelessly shared publicly. Here are 17 lines from the self-proclaimed genius which should rapidly dig his own political grave.

Tweets

1)“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” My greatest pain in life is reading that. Pass the morphine.

2) “I was never really good at anything except for the ability to learn.” If you’re so good at learning one might presume at some point you might be good at something you’ve learned. So if he gets elected I guess he’ll learn on the job? Might be a good philosophy for foreign travel or cooking, but as the leader of a nation of over 300 million people, I say no bueno you fool.

3) “I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books.” He is a proud idiot. And no book wants his autograph either.

4) “I am not a fan of books.” Ok that’s fair. Is there a CliffsNotes for how to be a President? Oh wait, he doesn’t read. Sesame Street video?

5) “I am Warhol. I am the №1 most impactful artist of our generation. I am Shakespeare in the flesh.” I am shaking my head.

6) “truth is my goal. Controversy is my gym. I’ll do a hundred reps of controversy for a 6 pack of truth” Is this some kind of secret code, or cry for help? If not he is just as disturbed as he is disturbing.

7) “I always misspell genius SMH! The irony!” Always? So much for his ability to learn.

8) “I make awesome decisions in bike stores!!!” A fantastic quality! My question is does he make awesome decisions about everything while in a bike store, or just awesome decisions about bikes? Maybe they can move the oval office to inside a bike shop, or build one around it. Something to think about, but must be decided in a bike store.

9) “Fur Pillows are hard to actually sleep on” Brilliant observation. Also probably the reason most people don’t sleep on their pets.

10) “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I’m responsible for this water bottle” Thats how we will all feel if he gets elected.

11) “Have you ever thought you were in love with someone but the realized you were just staring in a mirror for 20 minutes?” Umm, no. Stop staring at yourself and read a goddam book.

Song Lyrics

12) “Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on the deck. Tell me what’s next? Alien Sex.” Anyone?

13) “I need every bad bitch up in Equinox, I need to know right now if you a freak or not” Do bad bitches have any relation to bad hombres? Need more info.

14) ”Shit is real got me feeling Israelian” This is wonderful tribute to Judaism. All the Israelians agree.

15) “I don’t see no mm, yeah I don’t see no mm, mm” Yup, that.

16) “F — k you and your Hampton house/ I’ll f — k your Hampton spouse/ Came on her Hampton blouse/ And in her Hampton mouth” I’m so grateful my husband isn’t a rapper. And that I don’t have a husband.

17) “Now if I f — k this model/ And she just bleached her asshle/ And I get bleach on my T-shirt/ I’mma feel like an asshole” You are an asshole just for writing this. All of it.