Sports without the Emotional Hangover
By: Robert Mckeon Aloe
Tags: Anger, Emotional Health, Sports, Sad, Healthy

From the start, watching sports was about the emotion. It was exciting to win or to lose. Ultimately, sports had the power to change the way I felt, and I enjoyed it. However, there came a time when the emotional hangover after one too many loses caused me to rethink the way I emotionally invest in sports.

In the beginning, God created football

My entry into sports viewing was in the 6th grade. Previously, I had watched some Michigan college football games with my dad, but I didn’t know the rules or the other teams. 1995 was a different year. I learned all the rules, and I started watching 3 or 4 games on Sunday. I picked the teams I liked (Packers, 49ers, Lions, and Raiders) and teams that I didn’t like (Cowboys).

I really didn’t like the Cowboys because some kid who was mean to me at school loved them. I was also living in Texas, so hating the Cowboys ran contrary to the culture and America. During the the 90’s, the Cowboys were America’s team.

When the 49ers beat the Cowboys really bad that year, I tore into this kid named Jake. Jake would go on and on about the Cowboys. He was a real fan boy. The final score was 38 to 20, but at half time it was 31 to 7. Jake had the last laugh though because the Cowboys won it all that year. However, in the moment, the excitement of the game wasn’t just watching it but arguing about it, reliving, re-feeling it.

The next year, my team at the time, Green Bay, went all the way. I was so excited, and I felt like I had chose the winning team to invest emotionally. However, one doesn’t gamble emotionally to win, just like gambling addicts. Winning never feels as intensely or for so long as losing. Losing really makes you feel different, and I didn’t have to wait too long for that.

The next year, Green Bay lost to the stupid Denver Broncos and John Elway (increasing the number of teams on my shit list by one). I had a Super Bowl party that year. I felt certain in victory even though it was a close game. I felt so embarrassed that my team lost and for the fact that I cried and wailed about the injustice to people who laughed that I could take something so seriously.

Later when I lived in Detroit, I became a regular Lions fan. I learned early on that they could play a great 3 quarters, but they could never quite get the last one. They kicked too many field goals and had too many penalties. This was the most realistic I had ever viewed any of my sports teams, and I enjoyed games that I knew the Lions would lose.

For the Love of Baseball

Most of my friends in school didn’t care for sports, but there was a thrill to it for me. It changed the way I felt, and I liked the numbers aspect of these games. When picking a team, you roughly have a 1 in 30 chance of them winning their last game and being the best. Usually, the odds are far less. Even teams that do really well for a few years have down years too. I was unprepared for this emotional rollercoaster, but I still wanted to go on the ride.

I had casually watched baseball growing up, but the strike in the 90’s killed a lot of my interest for some reason. I did start watching again in 2004 as my Astros were doing pretty well. They finally won a playoff series, and I was thrilled. I started to pick up teams I liked and hated, just like in WWE wrestling where you have heroes and villains. I followed the scores of all the games everyday. It was quite a time investment.

2005 saw the Astros go to the World Series with some amazing baseball. I found I loved the series before the last series or the game before the last game because you knew whatever the result, there was another game. But for the last game, win or lose, the season is over. The excitement is gone.

Of course the Astros losing was no different than any other game where my team lost. I was crushed. I was crushed for weeks, and I had a lingering hatred towards the White Socks and the MLB commissioner for not letting them close the Minute Maid Park roof. I was mad at Roger Clemens for throwing 50 pitches in 2 innings, like I could do better.

Luckily, I was living Detroit, and a team that had sucked for 20 years decided they had had enough. 2006 was their year. I went to a number of games, I watched a bunch of tv, and I knew a good chunk of their roster (and their stats). I went to the ALCS game where Kenny Rogers dominated. He pitched such a fast game.

Then, the World Series. This time, the pain was incredible. I had never seen so many errors in baseball. Again, I was crushed. Luckily, the playoffs happened when I had just started in graduate school at Notre Dame, and their football team was on top of the world.

Golden Failure

Notre Dame football looked to be the ticket in the fall of 2006. It felt like they were going to win big. I went to all the home games, and I was enthralled with the tradition. They had a huge comeback against Michigan State, and it seemed for a time they had the right mix.

Then they played USC. Oh that damn USC. They got smoked. They looked like a junior college. I felt like God himself had cursed the team, but I still held faith that the next year would fix the problems. LSU killed them in the bowl game, but I wrote it off as an unimportant game.

Everyone said 2007 was a rebuilding year. We had a new quarterback who had never lost a game in high school, and we were going to do great. I didn’t heed anything of what people said about rebuilding. I had just recently become a Notre Dame fan, so I didn’t have good information. I was just betting all my emotions on this sport because all my other teams sucked.