When Positive Thinking Makes You Sick
By: Artur Kh.
Tags: Positive Thinking, Live

Positive thinking is a subspecies of magical thinking, when it seems to us that we can change reality with our thoughts. Actually, we can, but it has nothing to do with magic.

Positive thinking often simply distorts reality and steals precious time from us that we could spend on real changes.

Example: you live with a partner who constantly offends you, then makes caustic remarks, then makes you doubt your own adequacy, then something else. You complain about him to a friend, and a friend says to you: “Of course, he is wrong, but look at the situation from a positive side: he gives you gifts, takes you on vacation abroad, a good father. And these little things can be tolerated.” And you suffer, thinking that if you do not appreciate all the good things that you have, you will lose it. And you do not make attempts to change the situation, do not protect yourself, do not learn to build your own psychological boundaries, do not declare that this is not possible with you.

The second example: you began to feel somehow unwell. Obvious symptoms of deterioration of the physical or mental state. And it would be nice to go to the doctor for an examination, but you either don’t have time or money. And then positive thinking comes into force, which says: “Don’t think about bad things, otherwise you will attract a terrible disease to yourself. It is better to have more positivity in life, maybe everything will pass anyway. Now is not the time to think about diseases. Better go to yoga, it will harmonize your aura, and you will immediately feel better.” And you are wasting precious time! Positive thinking lulls your vigilance. When your inner realist tells you that something is wrong, your cheerful positivist closes your eyes and happily says: “Don’t look there, let’s play the game” Everything will be fine!”

Positive thinking does not help to solve the problem, it prevents us from considering it from different sides, prevents us from weighing these sides and making the right decision. This is a part of our inner child, who can be very scared in difficult life situations, and he closes his eyes and whispers: “Everything will be fine.”

I would like to distinguish between healthy optimism and positive thinking. Healthy optimism gives us the strength to fight against difficulties. He says: “Yes, we have a problem, and now we will solve it. And I believe that we will succeed if we put enough effort into it.” Positive thinking says otherwise: “Yes, this is not a problem at all. And if you think that this is a problem, you will attract trouble to yourself. It is better not to notice it, but only notice the good around you. And the bad will evaporate by itself.” And it can also say: “Be a good girl/boy. If you behave well, send positive rays to everyone around, then other people will see what a wonderful person you are and will stop hurting you.”

Meanwhile, your real emotions are eating away at you from the inside. The fact that you have suppressed them, drowned them out with positive thoughts, does not mean that they have disappeared. Resentment, sadness, anger, fear are just waiting in the wings. They are gaining strength to go on the attack. And then you can be overtaken by depression, psychosomatics, neuroses.

That’s the price you can pay if you try hard to look at life through rose-colored glasses. No one forbids you to enjoy life, but your thinking should be realistic, so that, in case of anything, you are always ready to stand up for your own values and health.