Mercy as a spiritual practice
By: Rebecca Harmon
Tags: Kindness, Mistakes, Spirituality, Forgiveness

Early in my foray onto the spiritual (not-religious) path, it seemed that all the FABULOUSLY spiritual people had perfect yoga pants; plump, designer floor cushions; and all the appropriate accoutrements, expertly displayed in a special room. They seemed to have all the accessories associated with “being spiritual“. Today I know that those things are nice, but they have absolutely nothing to do with walking a spiritual path. The most important accessories are those we carry with us, every day.

I came home from work yesterday to find that the 2 cans filled with garbage that morning were still standing. That was a bad sign, since usually I have to park on the street to pick up the discarded, upended and empty cans from the middle of my driveway before I can pull in. In addition, one of the cans still had its lid on, tight.

I parked, got out of my car and walked over to confirm that indeed, the can with the lid on had not been emptied into the garbage truck — while the open-topped one was now empty.

My initial response was to be aggravated — maybe even a little angry — that I had a full can of garbage that would need to sit for another week; then I remembered that I could call the township and complain, and they would report it to the waste management company who would dispatch a truck to pick it up the next morning.

As I thought more about the issue, I felt that I had an opportunity: I could be (rightfully) indignant, irritated and annoyed and insist that they circle back around to this street and empty this can; or I could practice mercy.

I have been in management for many years, and as soon as I thought of calling to complain, I wondered about the team that would be marked as deficient. Some may say “they deserved it — they dropped the ball” and in terms of the facts, that is true. What I also know from my years in supervision and management is that my call may be the “last straw” for someone who is experiencing a tough time. It may be the thing that causes someone to be moved to the “do not retain” list or to be let go during their probationary period.

I thought about that as I pulled the cans back to the side of my house. It’s cold out now and I have a well-fitting lid. Will it really hurt anything to pull it out again next Monday to be picked up? Is my aggravation with the principle of the circumstances truly worth the possibility that someone could experience difficulty with their boss, or even the loss of their job — especially in the middle of a pandemic?

The answer to all of these questions is NO. But this goes beyond me simply being merciful because I have an opportunity. How many times has someone granted me mercy when I missed a deadline, dropped the ball on a project or made a mistake? Many times. And while I am aware of a number of these instances, how many MORE have come into my life as unknown blessings that protected me and gave me the opportunity to get up the next day and keep moving forward?

Spiritual teachers tell us that what we put out, returns to us. It’s a teaching as old as humanity, but it seems at times that it is one of the hardest ones to grasp. In traffic yesterday on my way home from work (before I encountered the garbage cans), I merged in front of someone who didn’t like it. I was not even close to them, and had plenty of room for the merge but for a reason that remains unknown to me, the driver laid on their horn and sped up to ride my bumper for a while in traffic.

I remained calm, and ignored them, but I wondered at the (sadly) common need for humans to correct others who don’t follow the rules as we see them.

I’ve written before about the possibilities for World Peace that may be achievable if each of us would get into the habit of practicing peace on the road during our morning and afternoon commutes. Yesterday, I considered also the great possibilities that lie in cultivating a practice of mercy.

Now, some will say “we shouldn’t reward bad behavior“. I don’t entirely disagree, but I also believe that we do more Good when we act in an energy of peace instead of an energy of retribution. Last year I had an extremely frustrating experience with a cashier at a local drugstore. She had a name tag on and later, when I received the email asking me to rate my experience at the store, I was tempted to tell my story.

Instead, I decided to speak affirmatively about her, calling into form the behaviors I knew she could exhibit; behaviors that I would much prefer to experience. I wrote that she (mentioning her name) was knowledgeable, helpful and kind and that I appreciated her assistance and positive attitude. In biblical language, I chose to “…call into existence the things that do not (yet) exist“.

The HUMAN response would have been to let her have it, and rant and rave about what poor customer service she provided to me. The more Divine response was to call into existence the behavior that did not seem to be present at the time. I chose the latter, and have had multiple interactions with this woman since then which have been GREATLY improved.

Some may believe that while I did not call her out, others surely did; hence the reason for the change, but I’m not so sure. A few weeks ago I ran into her in another store in a neighboring borough. I asked if she left the other store, and she said “No — I was recently promoted to a Lead Cashier, which means I get sent to other stores sometimes to help“.

I smiled as I left the store that day, grateful that I had quelled my initial urge to call her out and thankful for the reinforcement that these ancient, spiritual Truths are as applicable today as ever.

My garbage will sit out another week, and I won’t want to open that lid. Thankfully, I have other cans, and will not be inconvenienced by this minor issue. I will be reminded, each time I walk past those cans, of the times I have been granted mercy by someone else, and will say a quiet “Thank You” for the people and circumstances in which I received mercy. And I will remember that developing a spiritual practice is less about the cushion we sit on and the decorations in the room (the where) and more — perhaps ALL — about the what. Standing there between my garbage cans, I honored the mercy I have received, and vowed to continue to practice mercy toward others.

I know myself well enough to understand that I will not move forward from this incident like some saintly monk. I will again find myself cursing in traffic, getting angry with subpar behavior and maybe even starting to write a 1-star review for bad service. I am human and fallible, which is why these things are known as spiritual PRACTICES. Still, I will not forget it and like time spent in meditation that builds that skill, time spent in spiritual practices like being merciful build those skills, and make them easier to choose as we walk through our lives.

Lastly, we never know what mercy we may need from someone down the road. The Law of Circulation is about more than money: it is the Law that describes the natural flow of life that brings into our experience the things we align with (or as Abraham would say “match our vibration”).

It’s good for OTHERS when we practice mercy; it’s also good for us.