Starting Over — What Now?. Grow to think bigger and better past…
By: La Dolce Vita Diary
Tags: Mindfulness, Personal Development, Spirituality, Mental Health, Self

Starting Over — What Now?

Grow to think bigger and better past your loss and insecurities.

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

When you’ve experienced a loss from a job, a relationship, your health, or a situation you didn’t expect to lose, you’re left with a form of pain and hurt.

Giving yourself tough love discipline and jumping back on the saddle isn’t going to snap you out of your sad memories immediately, but will help speed things up for your healing and moving on.

Suffering beyond letting out the emotional cry for a week, is optional. You don’t want to stay immobilized from life any longer than you have to.

You have more fearlessness inside you than you may think, if you intently search without a map, for the internal treasure chest full of love.

And if you want a speedy recovery, you’re smart to challenge yourself to live every day joyfully. As you daily distance yourself from the thing that caused you pain that you can’t control, then you heal yourself back to good health and life.

When I was going through difficulties as a young adult, I had intentions to think happy thoughts just to be able to function whole, but I didn’t know how with all the messy life problems I faced.

Even with knowledge of visually minimizing negative thoughts down from a large to small television screen, and other available proven and effective methods, I couldn’t change my negative and unhelpful thoughts (…and maybe you’ve tried similar techniques that didn’t work?).

None of that helped, as the advice went in one ear and out the other. And then made me wonder if something was wrong with me, to add insult to injury.

Well… until I was ready.

I wish I could tell you that getting ready only took me a year or two, or a few seasons of wardrobe changes. Only two decades later can I tell you that there is no magic ingredient to maturing faster than when you’re ready.

Maybe you’re getting ready sooner or want to be there already?

There’s a process to slow cooking, learning, and enjoying in the process, and finding your own successful path boils down to your commitment to result desires (and what you’re willing to do). The same general formula for any of life’s great successes.

That can be achieved by radical choice and actions, or a gradual shift like I did.

Personal Transformation From Within

Using the metaphor of your young self as a caterpillar, you can emerge into a transformed and whole living butterfly, if you have a personal growth desire. In your new beautiful form, you can fully enjoy the earth and also the sweet, colorful flowers.

There may be a transitional cocoon period, or two or more, where nothing significant may seem to be happening, and where you may experience silence and setback. That’s where most the transformational growth happens.

Changing your mind’s ways takes transformation, that starts as an inside job.

You want to cut out the diseased parts that by no fault of your own, permeated your heart and soul, while growing your spirit to influence your heart, that can reprogram your mind.

Without these gentle and hidden parts on your side, you don’t stand a chance to fight against your old brain trying to protect you from hurt, and your ego spinning the truth.

How to Use Your Past Effectively

Let Go of Your Recent Past.

“The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment.” — Buddha

But remind yourself what you learned...

Remember a time when something didn’t work out and reflecting back, that was the best thing that could’ve happened to you? Because otherwise you wouldn’t have moved onto be the person you are today.

But you forgot about those steps. So remind yourself so you can feel good again and maybe take a slightly different step.

Bring your journal out and write or scribble down all those present thoughts, whether it’s a messy or neat handwriting day.

Pour out your emotions and get new revelations in your thoughts and spirit.

If you have a health situation, pray for your healing. Are your thoughts making your matter worse? Calm your stress, worry or anxiety, so you can reduce your inflammation and weight gain.

Instead of pity, be grateful you have free time away from your calendar, to do whatever you want. Some people dream of having time back for themselves or a life of their own.

If you lost a job, this is an opportunity to pivot and go in another direction. If you wanted to do something big in your life, now is the time to reinvent yourself. Don’t go back to your old career you weren’t happy with. That’s thinking small. Think bigger, so you can get bigger.

For the first time, you’re encouraged to show up as your unique self. The opportunities are limitless as the world is dying for innovation, creativity, and new ways.

Discover Your Gains.

You’re best to move forward and think of what you’ve gained (over your loss). If holding onto past memories isn’t helping you grow, it’s doing no good. Period.

Because those negative tapes turn into an insecure tape where you become the only one suffering, that spiral downward and your loss becomes additional lost time and energy (the most valued resources).

You’re best to turn your past painful experiences around. Your mess is your message. Use it to learn from, be better, and do better.

Ask yourself: what if you never experienced your past?

Answer: Then you would not be the person you are today, who’s kinder, more humble, and compassionate. The traits that get you further in this life.

Then, go and heal yourself. You do this from the courage born within you, and the life that was breathed in you. And believe there’s something better on the other side, because there is.

You won’t successfully open a new door, until the past one shuts. How that happens doesn’t matter, but be glad in the surprise ending.

Because there is greater wisdom in the world than you possess in your own mind. When you embrace, trust and believe you’re being led to a positive future, then you can feel empowered to take action now.

You can feel connected to your soul and spirit, and anything you want to happen has a chance to birth and take shape, despite all the chaos around. Your new desires and beliefs bring you to your best life.

Remind Yourself of the Good

Remember all the wonderful memories you had, that you forgot about. Did you celebrate? And commemorate what’s still working and who’s alive?

Listen to people who come with messages in seasons and for reasons to help lead you on your path and give direction. Sometimes these people come in the form of love relationships who aren’t with you anymore.

Believing and seeing they made you a better person is the greatest gift. You experienced the best that there was to offer from that relationship. Capture those good memories in your peaceful mind and a kind heart.

When you need to cry today, know that tomorrow you have a chance to start over.