How to Improve Your Chances of Getting a Blowjob
By: Emma Austin
Tags: Sex, Relationships, Advice, Women, Men

Lots of women love giving blowjobs.

In fact, the more conversations I have with women and the more I read their stories and see them share their opinions in online forums, the more I’m convinced that the vast majority of us genuinely enjoy giving head.

But we don’t always do it.

That can be for a lot of reasons. But in most cases, I think it’s mainly about how the blowjob is set up.

That was the big issue for me.

When I was in my teens, I got really curious about sucking cock. I was intrigued, a little nervous about the thought of doing it, but overall excited to try.

Once I finally got to wrap my lips around a cock, I felt a little thrill. It felt so naughty. I felt like such a dirty girl — like a very, very good girl. And I absolutely loved getting to play that role.

But it was short lived. Once the excitement of trying something new had died down, the fun started to wash out of blowjobs.

I got a very clear sense that it was something I was expected to do. Some guys would put a lot of pressure on me to do it — or do it in a way I didn’t want to. But even when there wasn’t any, it felt more like an obligation than anything else.

I gave head so I didn’t feel selfish for taking pleasure. I put my mouth on my partner’s cock because I didn’t want him to think I was boring in bed.

I gave blowjobs because I didn’t mind giving head. But that’s very different from actually wanting to do it.

So, I stopped.

For years, I dealt with an extremely low sex drive. I almost never wanted to have sex. When I could muster up enough horniness to fuck, there was no way I would do anything I couldn’t get off on.

I stroked my partner’s cock during foreplay, but I had absolutely no interest in putting it in my mouth.

In a way, giving up on blowjobs gave me the distance I needed to actually fall in love with them.

Once the pressure to give head was gone and I stopped imposing it on myself, I could start to actually get turned on by it.

I would read erotic descriptions of women sucking cock and the all the dirty thoughts that went through their heads when they did it.

I would go to porn sites to watch long blowjob scenes and admire all the different ways women gave them. Some were slow and sensual. Some were aggressive and eager. My favorite ones were the playful ones where the girls practically treated the cock like a toy they were exploring.

All of the women in those videos had one thing in common. They weren’t just giving head — they were doing it enthusiastically.

None of them were just going through the motions. I could feel their joy and their desire with every slurp, suck, and lick.

And I wanted it — badly. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t just willing to suck a cock — I had the urge to get one in my mouth. Because for the first time in my life, I could see why it could actually be fun, exciting, and arousing.

My experience taught me a lot about why so many women are reluctant to give head and why so many of us stop giving it altogether.

For some women, it’s just a hard line. They’re icked out by the thought of having a dick in their mouth, and that’s all there is to it.

For some, it’s a struggle with libido. They can get it up for sex but not enough to get the urge to go down.

But in most cases, when a girl stops giving head, it’s because she doesn’t get to do it in a way that’s arousing to her.

She doesn’t just want to suck a dick. She wants to feel sexy and naughty when she’s teasing the tip of his cock with her tongue.

She wants to feel like she’s treating him to something special and she wants to show off all her skills.

She wants to use her mouth playfully, exploring every surface of his dick and seeing what kind of reactions she can get out of him.

If she’s sexually submissive, she wants to feel like she’s surrendering and giving herself over to him.

But to get there, the circumstances have to be right.

Luckily for you, a lot of that is in your control. You can do things that make sucking your cock more appealing and help her get in the mood to do it — and do it again. It won’t guarantee that you’ll get head, but it will seriously improve your odds.

Don’t Ask for One

One of the best ways to improve your odds of getting head is to make it her idea.

There’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want in bed, but blowjobs are tricky. A lot of us have an uneasy history with them. We’ve been pressured, pestered, and sometimes actually pushed to give them. So being asked doesn’t exactly put us in the sexiest of moods.

Your lady also doesn’t actually need to be asked. She’s highly aware that you would love to have her pump your cock into her mouth.

Asking for a blowjob means she doesn’t get a chance to really get the urge to do it. She doesn’t get to build her arousal to the point where all she wants to do is grab your shaft and slip her mouth over the head of your dick.

Besides, you’ll always get a better blowjob if you let her initiate it.

When she’s doing it because she feels an intense desire to blow you, you’re going to get a lot more than just a bit of courtesy head.

You’ll have her sucking your cock eagerly. She’ll be blowing you enthusiastically, using all her favorite moves, and challenging herself to make you moan harder than you did the last time she blew you.

It will feel like you’re getting sucked off by a pornstar. And it’s all because you gave her the opportunity to want that blowjob as badly as you did.

Be Blowjob Ready at All Times

Make sure your hygiene game is strong.

Whenever you’re about to spend time with your lady, ask yourself if you’re blowjob ready. If she was going to tug your underwear down and start sucking your cock, would the smell or taste put her off?

Some women rarely give blowjobs because they’ve had a bad run-in with their partner’s junk. They dropped to their knees, excited to pleasure them, but had to cut it short because it was just too unpleasant.

Don’t put yourself in that position. No amount of flavored lube can make up for slacking on your hygiene, so freshen up regularly.

Shower if you have a hunch you’re going to fuck. Give your cock and balls a quick scrub at the sink if you need an impromptu clean. Use some ball powder if you feel the need to.

Work on the Big Picture Stuff

Getting more blowjobs isn’t just about what you do in bed. It’s also about the bigger picture.

It’s about how she feels when she’s with you and how she feels about herself.

Some women stop giving head when they don’t feel appreciated. The sex starts to feel disconnected and it’s harder for them to get excited about it — especially the parts that aren’t about her pleasure.

Some will stop when their confidence is shaken. They don’t feel sexy and desirable, which makes getting naked and doing dirty things a little more uncomfortable. When there’s too much anxiety around sex, it’s hard for her to let go and just enjoy it all.

If you want to increase your odds of getting into her mouth, you have to help her feel better about herself.

Flirt with her and make her feel like you want her. Not just during foreplay or in the leadup to sex, but all the time.

Tell her she’s gorgeous. Tell her what you find beautiful about her. Tell her you can’t stop thinking about how she looked or the things she did the last time you had sex.

Go beyond the physical stuff, too. Praise her intelligence, tell her that she’s hilarious, remind her that you think she’s incredibly creative. Whatever it is you admire about her, make sure she hears it and hears it often.

Do thoughtful things that show her that she’s still on your mind even when you’re not together.

When she feels loved and wanted, appreciated and connected, she’ll have the confidence and intimacy she needs to become the blowjob queen she wants to be.

Don’t Keep Score

The best way to get more head is to make sex fun and pleasurable for her. If you rock her world, she’ll want to rock yours too.

That means you have to be giving in the bedroom. Stroke her clit until she comes. Eat her pussy like it’s all you’ve ever wanted to do.

Pull out all the stops and finger her while licking her clit.

And do all of it without keeping score.

Going down on your partner just so she’ll go down on you is going to make it harder for her to enjoy the oral she’s getting. And it’s going to make her want to give back even less.

Being a selfless lover is going to encourage her to be one, too.

Plus, sex should be playful, fun, and passionate, but it’s never going to be any of those things if you’re keep track of every lick you give her.

Make It Fun for Her

Another reason women lose interest in blowjobs is because the guys they’re blowing are way too passive.

They’ll lean back and close their eyes, or they’ll silently stare down at her, but they just won’t get very involved.

And that can create a really weird blowjob vibe.

Her blowjob fantasies aren’t really about her taking a dick in her mouth. They’re about the dynamic it creates with her partner. They’re about the way she gets to feel when she’s sucking him off.

When a guy just lies there, quietly getting head, that’s not the kind of experience she gets at all.

So, make it really enjoyable for her by being an active participant in your blowjob.

Play with her hair and stroke her skin while she’s going down on you.

Talk dirty to her. Tell her what a good job she’s doing. Tell her that her mouth feels fucking incredible.

And don’t just be verbal — be vocal. Moan your way through the pleasure. Groan when she’s doing something especially stimulating.

She wants to feel like a sex goddess when she’s sucking you off. She wants to know that she’s giving you an amazing time. So, give her all the feedback she needs by touching her and making some noise.

Let Her Know When You’re About to Come

Another thing that turns women off from giving head is feeling a surprise burst of come in the mouth or an unexpected facial.

Even girls who love to swallow usually prefer not to be taken off guard by it.

So, always warn her when you’re about to come.

Hearing those words is going to turn her on. Anticipating your big finish is going to be exciting for her. And giving her a say about where it goes is essential.

It’s also going to make her feel more eager to blow you again in the future.

Make the Foreplay Last

I’m a big fan of long foreplay. However long you spent fucking, you should probably be spending at least two or three times as long on all the frisky fun that comes before it.

It’s extremely pleasurable on its own, but all the teasing, the anticipation, and the stimulation is going to push the arousal off the charts.

It’s going to make you feel ravenous for her. And it’s going to make her breathlessly horny.

That’s when she’ll be at her dirtiest. Which means there’s a good chance she’ll feel the urge to take your cock in as many ways as she can.

When you spend longer on foreplay, you also give her more opportunities to go down on you. Blowjobs tend to happen before sex, so the more time you spend in that phase, the more likely she is to want to suck your cock.

Get the Dynamic Right

All blowjobs should be enthusiastic. Every single one should be given with joy and eagerness.

But that only happens in a dynamic that feels safe, caring, and playful.

When the dynamic is right, sex is intense, it makes you feel alive, it makes you experience peaks of pleasure that you can’t get in any other way. That’s when she’s inspired to give you all the pleasure she can and make your fantasies come true.

It’s also your best shot at getting more of what you want. Make it fun for her and you’ll have a lot more fun too.