One Key to Increase Audience Interest in Your Story
By: Michael Davis
Tags: Public Speaking, Professional Speaking, Présentation

One Key to Story Success

A (Missing) Memorable Moment

“Dude, you’re going to die if you keep this up!”

I was watching Dave in a storytelling workshop. He’d already presented his story and was being debriefed. The facilitators were asking questions about a specific scene when he said, “Yeah, at one point my doctor told me, “Dude, you’re going to die if you keep this up!”

The workshops facilitators immediately stopped him and said, “Whoa! What? Say that again!”

More than a little surprised, Dave, repeated the phrase, “My doctor said, “Dude, you’re going to die if you keep this up!”

The facilitators said, “Dude! Where was THAT in the story? That’s what’s missing. We need to hear that moment when you’re told your life is on the line.”

A Common, but Costly, Storytelling Mistake

Up until that moment, he’d struggled to convey the seriousness of a scene in which he was told he needed to change his lifestyle, or he would die a premature death.

He did what many storytellers do — provide a lot of facts in his back story about what led him to that point:

He was overweight and inactive

He’d experienced an incident of paralyzing chest pains in a hotel room

He’d ignored the pain and attended a work conference

He felt sick again on the drive home

He visited his friend, a doctor, who gave him a lengthy explanation of his condition

He eventually was admitted to the hospital, lucky to be alive

To be fair, this was the first draft of Dave’s story. He was in what we call the ‘messy’ stage of his story.

In the debrief, he casually threw out the line “My doctor said, “Dude, you’re going to die if you keep this up!”

It was THE moment missing from the story.

This is not uncommon in the coaching sessions I’m involved in. Nearly every time, I or one of my colleagues stop the meeting and ask, “Where was THAT in the story?”

Two Key Lessons From This Experience

One. The key to meaningful stories is memorable moments. We tend to overlook or not understand the significance of specific incidents in our lives.

These are crucial because they generate the most emotion in your story. If he experiences several months or years in the past, your feelings may be less intense about it, therefore, you dismiss its importance.

This is why it’s vital to have other people listen to your narrative. They will help you understand why specific moments are powerful to your story.

Two. You and I are too close to our own material to see its value. We lived the experience, so we tend to disregard its significance.

The workshop facilitators immediately saw the value in the statement from Dave’s doctor and encouraged him to include it.

When writing their stories, most people tend to over-explain because they don’t understand which parts are most valuable. They feel the need to give every detail of the backstory so the audience understands every aspect of the situation.

It’s a good strategy for writing a novel, but it’s deadly for speakers. Audiences want just enough detail to understand the situation and no more. This is the approach used in the movie industry.

As has been repeated by many in the industry, “Hollywood tells stories of real life, with the boring parts taken out.”

Bonus Idea

Key moments can shorten the story, yet heighten the impact.

When Dave finally understood the strength of the one sentence from his doctor, he inserted it into the story. He practiced the delivery a few times and it became one of the key moments of his talk.

He described sitting in the doctor's office, waiting for him to walk in. He paused for a few seconds. He then said, “My doctor, who is a long-time friend, didn’t bother to sit down. He didn’t waste any time. He said, “Dude, you’re going to die if you keep this up!”

Dave then paused to let the audience see his facial expression of disbelief, the impact the doctor’s words had on him. The silence, and his expression, allowed the audience to feel the significance on the moment.

It was far more powerful than the minute-plus explanation of the first version.

The typical speaker gives a ‘report,’ “My doctor told me he was concerned. He said my blood pressure was 190/110 and that my heart rate was 92 per minute. He was also concerned about my triglyceride count, and we discussed these readings in context with the information from previous visits.”

Aren’t you simply riveted by that information?

Some key thoughts to consider:

Are all of the facts true?

Yes.

Are they important to the story?

Yes, they underscore the serious nature of the health problem.

Are they vital to the audience?

NO!

What does the audience need to know?

“Dude, you’re gonna die!”

THAT is where the emotions; connection is made.

It’s more dramatic, and your point is made. All in just a few words

As you craft your story, don’t overlook simple, powerful incidents which capture the essence of a situation and heighten the tension.

Create the moments audiences will long remember, and you’ll create a deeper emotional connection with them.

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