Stop and Look Around…
By: Joe Delollo
Tags: Growing Up, Adulting, Life Lessons

Life can get crazy; plans change, people change, thoughts change, you change. And it’s all happening at the same time. This life we live is so fluid and things change daily right before our eyes. Most people have heard the cliche, “stop and smell the roses.” While it has good intentions, I think this quote is a bit misleading and overused. There are some points in our lives where, whether we like it or not, there are no roses to smell. And that’s ok! I understand this idea may seem dark but bear with me. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that there are positive aspects that can come out of most situations. But at the same time, it’s important to be real with yourself. A quote that I think is a bit better worded comes from one of my favorite movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off:

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

While holding similar intentions as the quote previously mentioned, I believe that this one is more realistic. The quote simply suggests that one stops to look around, with no mention of smelling any roses. While there are some situations where stopping and “smelling the roses” might be the best choice, there are definitely some that require one to simply take a step back and observe. Take the situation for what it is. Don’t overanalyze it. Stop overthinking. Some things are beyond our control. And in these situations, it’s important be real with yourself and not give yourself a false sense of reality.

As a college student, it may seem that we’re always on the go. It’s a constant grind and hectic time for all of us. There is so much in our life that we have to balance: schoolwork, relationships, extracurriculars, jobs, sports, and career planning are a few that come to mind first. It’s so easy to get bogged down by our busy schedules that many people never take the time to reflect on what’s currently going on in their life. For the people that are able to do this, kudos to you. For the people who often need a reminder: this is for you.

Assess where you are in your life and where you want to be. It’s important to not tell yourself only what you want to hear, but be true and honest with yourself. Otherwise, there’s no point in doing it at all. Another important reminder is to do this without judging yourself. Wherever you are in your life, accept it for what it is, and make the decisions necessary to get to where you want to go.

While taking the time to reflect on your life, neutral thinking is an important concept to keep in mind. This is a different concept than most people are accustomed to as everyones been taught to “think positive” since a young age. This positive mindset can sometimes be misleading and give people a false sense of confidence or security. Neutral thinking isn’t positive or negative; it’s taking whatever event has happened to you without judgement and using this to make decisions on how you will act next. This mindset doesn’t involve any emotion. This is important as positive and negative thinking can result in a decision based solely on emotion, which doesn’t always allow one to make the decision that would best benefit them. For example, if someone receives a bad grade on an exam, they can respond in several ways. Negative thinking following a poor grade enables one to judge themselves which results in a constant cycle of negative thoughts. Positive thinking may result in one having a false sense of confidence, which puts the individual at jeopardy for future exams and assignments. Neutral thinking allows one to take the grade for what it is (because it’s not changing either way) and create a plan on how to fix it. Maybe this mindset doesn’t work for everyone, but I urge you to give it a try.

Without reflection, there can be no growth; life is all about growing and becoming the person you want to be. Every so often, take a break. See where you are in your life and where you want to be. This allows you to not only appreciate the current point of your life, but also allows you to pause and tweak things that need changing. No one can do this for you, so take it upon yourself and make it a priority. Your future self will thank you for it.