Our Anger Can Help And Heal
By: Michael Patanella
Tags: Anger, Self Improvement, Mental Health, Life Lessons, Self

The word anger, by itself has its very own negative vibe to it. Afterall, whenever we hear the word or read the word, I think our mental instincts kick in instantly. We are immediately flashed back to endless amounts of thoughts that are all connected to the very worst memories that we have had when it comes to times in our lives we’ve been angry.

In that journey, I have come to learn a few things. Knowledge that I never would had realized if all the research wasn’t done. The research I have done on this topic has taught me tremendously.

Not all of anger is wasted, negative, or detrimental energy. I have written in the past about anger quite often. Usually touching upon causes of anger, and techniques for dealing with anger, and the accompanied stress that comes accordingly.

Today though, I wanted to touch on something different regarding anger. The fact that experts believe that there are two different and definitive types of anger. Called Constructive and Destructive. To me, that seems to sound like, there’s anger that is either good for you, or one that’s bad. Quite simple, right?

Well, there’s a good chance that out of those two types, we are likely very familiar with the one called destructive. As I sit here, thinking of my experiences with anger, I get the feeling that while it never hurts to put the main focus on either type of anger, the one that may interest more, might likely be the constructive anger. Because after all, who the heck knows a darn thing about constructive, good anger?!

From what I can gather from anger research, the one theme, or label that seems to fit with this kind of anger is, “anger that heals.”

Before I get into this curriculum of constructive anger, just bear in mind that this is information that is growing more and more as time goes on, when it comes to the spotlight being on it. It seems like a subject that grows vigorously over time. I am not the creator of this. I am merely the presenter.

If we can put some focus into anger management as a whole, we can learn to allow anger to become our weapon, as a positive force in which we can start to motivate ourselves.

Ask yourself, where do you want to travel in life, with using anger constructively. First realize that we no longer have to be driven, or pushed by anger. Without our hands on a pedal, or a wheel.

Before we get too far into this new kind of emotion, let’s learn something important. That is, we are not our past. Our destructive, wasteful anger of yesterday, is not where we are travelling today. If we are going to bring to life episodes of destructive anger that’s already once been born, let’s approach it from a learning standpoint.

Take a step back, and look at the big picture. We will have to practice some patience and perhaps mindfulness. We’re not just going to snap our fingers and then find that happy, and constructive anger has magically appeared.

The examples for constructive anger, can be so far on either side of the spectrum. It can be hard to explain, but there is a pretty traditional example that I have seen many times given. It gives a good idea, of just how it can be done. Now, it’s only a minor example. But I think it shows a good standard.

Let’s look at the first date example. If we are immediately seeing negative tendencies that makes us angry, like snobbish, selfish behaviour, it should be easy to suffer a couple hours, casually cutting the date short.

Never having to make that same mistake twice. Let those parts of the date that made us angry be our strength in moving on, and not wasting valuable time with more struggling dates. No harm, no foul.

There are many other examples somewhat along those lines that create perfect examples for using our anger to solidify strong, positive choices based on experiences.

Constructive anger can put together good qualities. They help repair conflict, by first warning us of it, and then allowing us the opportunity to make constructive choices based on the feelings created. At the same time, if we are mindful, we may be able to notice that tension is being relieved.

A lot of internal conflict can repair itself through these experiences as well. I think it also helps with our communication abilities. Our lives are not disrupted either.

Awareness in general is greatly improved, and we might have the ability to sense trouble, before it’s already completely flooding us. In a way, we can develop sixth sense abilities that are born all out of Constructive Anger.

This topic has been a favorite of mine, because who would had ever thought that anger, in any type of way could be good, helpful, constructive, etc etc.

These skills I am learning through these type of lessons are having great effects in my life. I am gaining the ability to be able to not be negatively ruled by anger anymore.

Michael Patanella is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Advocate, and Recovering Addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and many other motivational topics. His articles, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Helping others out there still struggling.