Healing America on social media
By: Jeffrey Denny
Tags: Biden, Politics, Satire, Trump, Social Media

Image from Facebook

Healing America on social media

Jeffrey Denny

I had a non-religious epiphany over the holidays:

Now that our healing and uniting 46th president (Biden) has succeeded our scab-picking and dividing 45th president (Trump), we have a new chance to seek the “kinder, gentler” nation our 43rd president (G.H.W. Bush) called for.

Perhaps in our crazy New Year’s dream of “hope and change” as our 44th president (Obama) sought, we could even avoid a nasty, bitter, divisive fight over Joe Biden’s healing and unity theme.

Let this new age of E pluribus unum begin with social media, a powerful political force that can move a nation to be the worst it can be from the people’s comfort of home. Often anonymously using patriotic avatars, avoiding the muss and fuss and courage of expressing your First Amendment rights to someone’s face and risking a roundhouse sock in the beezer.

The social media healing must, of course, start with Facebook.

Zuckerberg’s monster dominates public discourse given Facebook’s 2.45 billion monthly active users, 1.62 billion daily users, and 88 percent who use Facebook to stay connected with family and friends and “friends” and “friends without any benefits whatsoever.”

Facebook, like the Covid, has been a godsend for people who think people who need people are the most horrible people in the world and prefer social media over actual socializing.

But when you look at all the mean, nasty, ugly political comments members have been posting, maybe Facebook isn’t so good for our political discourse and democracy.

As the Biden years begin, Facebookers can either continue our angry political divisions and antisocial media civil war, or let us be touched by our better angels, as our 16th president (Lincoln) said, and live together in perfect harmony (McCartney/Wonder).

I ask my fellow Facebook Americans to try this simple trick:

When someone posts a comment calling you stupid or evil, don’t let it trigger you. Don’t disagree by being disagreeable.

Instead, take a deep breath, count to ten, and let your amygdala hijack and attack impulse to pass. It will.

Then calmly select one of these suggested kind and gentle responses, and tailor as appropriate:

1. “Thank you for your comment. I don’t agree with what you say, but I respect your right to say it and deeply appreciate learning about your point of view.”

2. “It seems that my political persuasion has made you angry. That was not my intention. But I take full responsibility for my impact on you, so I truly apologize and ask if you could forgive me.”

3. “Can I be completely honest with you? It hurts when you call me stupid or evil, or both, when I express my thoughts and feelings. I don’t think I’m stupid or evil even if my parents said so, LOL!”

4. “I get what you’re saying. I never thought of it that way. You have completely changed my mind and point of view. I cannot possibly thank you more!”

5. “Could I say this please without sounding like I’m sucking up? You’re absolutely right. Your comment is brilliant. You’ve obviously done your research so you know what you’re talking about. Forgive me for not doing my research and being so wrong.”

6. “I love your powerful opinions. Since you’ve changed my mind, could you kindly share the facts that support your statements? I’m thinking they’re probably pretty objective and independently verified, not from some selected cable TV news or internet source, so I want to use your facts too.”

7. “You say climate change is a liberal hoax? I could not agree more. If the Koch Brothers say it’s a hoax, who am I to argue? They’re billionaires and I’m not.”

8. “Just so you know, I respect your thoughts and opinions in spite of your spelling, grammar and syntax. It doesn’t make you seem too dim-witted to consider your views. The elites are just being pointy-headed sticklers like my second-grade teacher was.”

9. “I don’t mean to sound like a liberal, and please forgive my push-back, but it hurts when you attack poor immigrant refugees from war-torn countries seeking a better life in America and love America because my mother and her family were.”

10. “I agree 100 percent — Socialism is awful! So I won’t be taking Medicare, farm subsidies or any other Socialist government program money. And probably like you, I’ll be tearing up my $2,000 stimulus check if Congress gets off its lazy ass and passes it. Just like I tore up my first stimulus check.”

Point is, with just a little respect, decency and diplomacy, and a dollop of passive aggression and gaslighting, we can turn down the political heat and heal our nation.

And if none of my suggestions work for you, just quote Lincoln’s tweet from Gettysburg: “We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.”

Jeffrey Denny is a Washington writer.