The Banter- Lets(not) Elope
By: Quinto Khaemba
Tags: Love Letters, Love, 21st Century, 19th Century, Relationships

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Yesterday I had a conversation with an elderly Turkish gentleman and somewhere in our conversation we dived into the topic of marriages. Specifically, marriages in the olden days. He told me of how the whole aspect of love was approached back in the day and I have to say it was very interesting

I think it’s important to know that I consider myself something of an old fashioned myself. Up to a certain extent, that is. Anyway, this gentleman, lets call him Sanberk, went on to tell me of his days as a youth. “Back then love was something we treasured. It was a big deal getting a girlfriend and we had to try all sorts of stuff just to get them to notice us…” he tells me, “For example, I remember the first girl I was interested in, I had to try for one year before she even noticed me. I did all manner of stuff, I borrowed her books with the excuse that I wanted to copy her notes and then I’d insert letters before giving her the books back.”

“All the time that I’d be waiting for her to notice me or at least acknowledge receipt of the letter. A year later when we finally held hands I felt like I could die. You young people this days meet someone, go on drinks on the same day and just like that you’re in a relationship, how ludicrous.” He went on and on but in my mind I was like, weird flex, but okay. He told me she kissed him on the cheek and he didn’t wash his face for a whole week.

I’ll tell you why if I had to choose between the old days and our current generation I’d stick with the current generation every day of the week and twice on Sunday(A Few good men, anyone? No one, Tom Cruise? None?). First of all we have to look at the effects that kind of lifestyle had on the people and how they have gone ahead and projected it on the young generation. Back then I’d say communities were small and well knit and therefore it was easy to control them and values such as chastity were regarded highly(I still regard them highly) but there was a catch: You can’t control young people. If history has taught us one thing it’s that you can’t control young people. Sooner or later they are going to rebel, it is psychological. Ask someone not to do somethin and they will want to do it even more. That, however is just the short term effect, the long term is even worse, these same people who grew up under tight grips go ahead and project the same things they hated growing up on their children, it’s hilarious( and a little bit ironic).

I personally believe that moderation is the key to achieving the best results, especially between parents and their children. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want the easy way out. I began by saying am a little bit old fashioned myself. I’d prefer to ask a girl out(not by text message) and go hiking or something and then get her back home safely just like they did back in the day. However, none of these young people want that anymore(the hilarity!). They’d rather we text and go on texting for ages before they hit me with the “You’re like the brother I never had.” A simple no would suffice. I really don’t need you telling me how you wish my child will be best friends with your child in future.

I guess this leaves me in the middle, I don’t know if I would have loved growing up in the twentieth century or whether am appreciating my generation well enough.