Boston / Bay Experienced Differences — Relationship to Reality
By: Alexis L Krohn
Tags: Bay Area, Life Lessons, Self, Moving, Boston

“So when are you starting?” — My West Coast friends

As many of my readers know, I have recently moved from Boston to “the Bay.” Nevermind that “the Bay” could also be Maryland, Boston, etc. — there seems to be one Bay which has taken over the rest in recognizability. That’s right, San Francisco Bay. Now, people have been grilling me occasionally on differences I’ve experienced between the East and West Coasts. So consider this the first article in a series on the Bays.

Bostonian Relationship to Reality — Logic and Truth

Boston is very invested in what is or isn’t real. High skepticism, rationality, and humanism. We’ve got MIT, Harvard, and a slew of other fairly prominent colleges and universities, each with a rep for intellectualism. We want to know how things do work, what people are. We want to explore the unknown so that we can come up with clear answers about it. It’s the seat of Boston Dynamics, Eleven, and iRobot. Between Kendall and Longwood, we have some of the best biotech companies and hospitals in the country.

If you want to make Bostonians shudder and cry, mention Marianne Williamson’s presidential candidacy. The city has, generally speaking, a low tolerance for “woo.” We’re the ones who elected Elizabeth Warren (may her candidacy go far), for crying out loud. Boston is the seat for Unitarian Universalists, who when mocked that they’re “not actually a church,” simply respond, “yeah, we’re an association.”

Boston has a methodology that works for itself. We’ve got technological powerhouses and rich history. We’re clean and careful. We can logic forward through just about anything. Our projects are going to generally be neat and organized and with nice, clean lines. Our conversations end in nice, tidy packages with clear conclusions. We show up punctually almost every time, and our organizational structure gets things done. When we commit, we commit hard.

Just, y’know… Don’t. Mention. Feelings. Ever.

Bay Area Relationship to Reality — Feelings and Possibilities

The Bay, however, is very interested in the deep unprovables — the “maybes.” And is far, far more comfortable with moving forward on a gut feeling. This is a land also deeply steeped in its own mythos, much as Boston is. Hippies and drugs and beat poets; artists, activists and burners dominate the landscape here. It’s the land of UC Berkeley and the Haight. It wants to fight far more for how things could work and asks questions about how people might be. A bunch of damn anarchists and communists out here, forming intentional communities and talking about their feelings.

The Bay is looked upon with deep suspicion by Bostonians, because of the high level of casual woo. What this affords, however, is a deep comfort with the unknown unknowables. We’re in the land of white-people yoga and Buddhism. We’re far less brusque, and more prone to asking people before a meeting “let’s just take a minute to really arrive in this space.” Try that in Boston, you’ll get eyerolls at best, and at worst you’ll be told that security will be escorting you out of the building in two hours, so gather your things!

And this is where the Bay can move through problems that Boston can’t. Or perhaps just doesn’t. The Bay sees the point where logic fails, and instead of trying to throw more energy-consuming logic at it, we are far more comfortable moving through the problem with experience and feeling, willing to get a few more cuts and scrapes along the way. Conversations can actually end in shrugging, “I guess it’s just… yeah… it’s hard to explain, so… more tea?”

Just, y’know… Don’t. Expect. Clear. Resolutions. And be careful who you make fun of chakras around.

The Heart of the Matter

Now we get to the heart of my experience so far, why the Bay is treating me really well right now, why I’m loving it. It’s my experience of the past few months, though ymmv.

In Boston, I had conversations typified by the following:

“Man. I wish I could play guitar.”

“You know what it would’ve taken to be able to play guitar?”

“I would’ve had to have put in countless hours of work.”

“Did you put those in?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s why you can’t play guitar.”

This mentality centers around past and present truth. It’s good at evaluating a present situation, but doesn’t exactly spur on action.

On the other hand, in the Bay:

“Man, I wish I could play guitar.”

“You know what it would take to be able to play guitar?”

“It would take countless hours of work.”

“So when are you starting?”

This mentality centers around present and future possibility. It doesn’t necessarily evaluate the present situation — do you have the time for this? Materials? Tools? But it eggs you on. And while the guitar situation is an easy, clear example, it’s by far not the only one.

In the Bay, everyone I’m around (and I admit, there is definitely some selection bias here along several axes) constantly encourages me to try more.

“Try my One Wheel.”

“Alexis, write that blog!”

“We can get you to Burning Man.”

“Come to class, do what you can.”

“Well, let’s make that event happen.”

“Come be our Theater Tech Director, it’ll be fun.”

“Don’t wait until you’re ready, just get up there on stage and do it.”

It’s filled not with “Why?” but with “Why Not?” Where Boston will wait patiently for you to do the thing on your own time when it’s ready — when it’s perfect -, the Bay will encourage and cajole you to present the unfinished product, to enjoy the imperfections. It embraces your progress. “Can do” is the reigning attitude out here.

Again, this has been my experience, and again, I know there some clear selection bias in my life. And also to be clear, Boston has some real advantages. But right now, the Bay’s making me extraordinarily happy.

“There’s only ever been one good answer to that question “Why?” and perhaps we should have that in the alphabet as well. There’s room for it. “Why?” doesn’t have to be the last word, it isn’t even the last letter. How would it be if the alphabet ended, “V W X Why? Z,” but “V W X Why not?” — Douglas Adams, in The Salmon of Doubt