7 Painful Reasons all Women Should be Angry
By: Allison Crady
Tags: Culture, Mental Health, Anger, Psychology, Woman

1. They shame our powerful sexuality.

Women shine as glorious sexual beings, and when they diminish our sexuality, they reduce our humanity.

Judith Duerk, author of “Circle of Stones,” describes “the gift of sexual love” as being “the most sacred of the gifts bestowed by the Goddess.”

Far from celebrating the beautiful energy inside me, my brother called me a “whore” when I began wearing makeup at 13 years old. I didn’t understand this gross derogatory term people use for sexually-liberated women or the insecurity behind it. I just knew there must be something wrong with me.

2. They gaslight, causing us to question our reality.

A former sports doctor sexually abused over 260 young gymnasts over several decades. Several women were brave enough to share their stories earlier, only to be questioned and shamed by their families and communities. People accused these women of being attention-seekers and were unwilling to doubt the doctor’s reputation.

Women are not “crazy.” We’re intuitive and insightful. We’re brave enough to be vulnerable and real with our emotions. At an early age, we learn that our feelings are wrong. No wonder we struggle with codependency and self-trust.

This emotional abuse is not okay.

3. They belittle feminine values.

Patriarchal culture preaches the virtue of logic over emotion. Even today, men and masculine values overwhelmingly outnumber women as government officials, high school reading list authors, noble prize winners, and leaders.

We’re not promoted at work for being great team players, acting supportive, or nurturing team morale. They promote us when we boost numbers or hit business goals.

4. They teach us to be silent.

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.” — 1 Timothy 2:11–12 (the Bible).

I grew up in a religious environment. No wonder I struggled to set boundaries and went on to be sexually abused, then felt guilty about it. After years of leaving the church and months in trauma therapy, I can’t read this verse without my entire body tensing with anger and my teeth gritting.

With or without the glaring religious sexism, women learn to make themselves smaller for fear of criticism. Have you ever been told that women talk too much? Being told to shut up is harsh, dismissive, and destructive. No wonder we struggle with self-worth.

What if someone told you that it’s healthy to have a strong voice and opinion, even when you’re angry?

5. We can’t win at work.

Have you worked in a male-dominated environment? Did you feel like men took the time to understand you and your values? Or did you feel like you were speaking in another language, struggling to earn respect?

On top of struggling to fit into a masculine structure, they treat us like idiots, talking over us or “mansplaining.” Is something wrong with me? I didn’t know, so I worked pushed myself to work harder, afraid of criticism.

Men far outnumber women in leadership roles, yet women score higher in essential leadership skills. And even when we are somehow successful in this environment, we become less likable. No wonder we’re stressed out.

6. They blame women for provoking abuse.

Most men believe that women who wear revealing clothes increase their chances of being harassed or assaulted, according to a 2019 study in the UK. This widespread myth causes women so much trauma. On top of being abused, we feel ashamed, embarrassed, and afraid that we are responsible.

Women who wear sexy clothes are not asking for harassment or assault, and we are not responsible for others’ behaviors.

Women’s wardrobes have long been used as an excuse for sex crimes, however, when you look at the data on why people rape, that doesn’t hold up. These are arguments are for transfering the responsibility of control and power from the perpetrator to the victim. — Sandra Shullman, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in harassment.

7. Our bodies are never enough.

They put us into a beauty competition we never asked to join. I grew up knowing that I could never gain weight because of all the judgment I heard. But guess what? I couldn’t be too thin either because they criticized me for that too. I learned to feel anxious about my body and skin, even with a healthy, culturally-pleasing body shape. Women cannot win at this game.