I Had To Fire My Friends
By: John Rowles
Tags: Friends, Workplace, Work, Management And Leadership, Business

Business is business including the guilt that goes with it.

True in more ways than one. Credit: https://imgflip.com/i/fiz91

I had to let two people go in a ten day period and it was awful on both sides. The fact that I had to fire grown men, both are in their mid to late 20’s, for lack of accountability and general screw ups on the job and heart wrenching to me. Knowing people will then be unemployed during these chaotic times only makes it worse.

Here’s the true issue: I like both of them and consider them friends but I have to protect my business. Sound cold-hearted? Yep, damn right it is.

They’ll file for unemployment, apply for funds they can through various state and federal programs. There’s a strong likelihood that one of them will be evicted from his apartment, the other will probably just disappear into the night. How much guilt am I supposed to have? Should I feel guilty at all? Tough call I must say. At the moment, I have a tremendous amount of guilt knowing what will probably happen to both of them. These are nice people, one of them has a toddler. Friendly, personable, but not professional enough to hold on to their jobs. But…they’re my friends. I know their families, hobbies, dietary restrictions, and more.

Everyone has signed an acknowledgement that they’ve been given an employee handbook which outlines the rules of the company. We give all employees the same amount of chances, three, to redeem themselves after getting written up for any violation. I’ve given employees well more than three chances because I’ve been all of them at some point in my life and I want them all to succeed where I didn’t. I fully admit that I’m soft, no other way to say it. I have a fantastic office manager that has told me the same with examples of how I could have done things better and in a more professional manner.

The problem is me. I trusted people, put them on a pedestal, and maybe set them up for failure. Maybe. Not sure on the setting them up for failure but I do expect accountability and reliability from every employee. That may be the real issue, I’m expecting too much and it could set them up for failure. I won’t accept that concept because documentation proves otherwise with those two.

We’ve documented each violation of company rules, had them sign, and they went back to work. All the CYA we can do for the company has been done yet I still feel enough guilt to make me physically ill. This is easily the worst part of my job but it’s necessary. Everyone else’s potential income and revenue is at stake when you have unreliable employees.

In retrospect, what could I have done better? Should I have not given them more than three chances? Maybe. Should I have been stern from the beginning? Maybe. Am I really that soft in my management style? Maybe. Anyone that knows me well enough knows that I’m quite blunt and hot-headed but I wasn’t (and haven’t been) either of those descriptions when I fired them. I was thinking of their families, rent, car payments, and so on. I’m also thinking of what’s best for the business.

I have to draw the line somewhere regarding the employee/manager relationships which isn’t easy for me. I want to be the boss that everyone wants to work for and I fear I’m looked at as a doormat or the job is taken for granted. Firing friends blurs the line between employee and management on what the line really is. Obviously I’ve blurred the line and can’t do that again, but shouldn’t I be able to also mourn the loss of the friendship while making hard decisions?

Maybe.