6 Common Direct Messages That Get Ignored
By: Tim Denning
Tags: Life Lessons, Marketing, Social Media, Networking, Communication

6 Common Direct Messages That Get Ignored

Based on conversations with popular writers on LinkedIn, followed by practical strategies that solve the root causes

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

When you’ve been writing online for a few years or achieved some level of success in your profession, you begin to receive a high volume of direct messages and emails to your various inboxes.

This phenomenon has happened to me and I’m not alone. Ten of my LinkedIn connections are top writers with more than 100,000 followers on the platform. Over the course of this year, through random chats, I’ve collated their thoughts on how to deal with the massive amount of inbound messages one might get.

Tim Ferriss, a popular podcaster, solves the problem using auto-responders. However, I find that they take away the personal touch and a chance at building a relationship with your audience.

After these various conversations and using my own experience, here are the common direct messages that get ignored, followed by some practical strategies you can implement to increase your response rate.

Asking without giving

If you right hook someone to the face from nowhere with a message directly asking for something, you’re almost guaranteeing failure.

What does failure look like when it comes to sending direct messages? Absolute, spine-tingling silence. People who have achieved something in their career will not respond to you asking them straight up for help.

If life were that easy, those who took that approach would all be dating supermodels.

Gary Vaynerchuk said it best: “Give, give, give, then ask.”

The longer you hold off from asking, the more of a relationship you build. Keep giving both in direct messages and in life and you’ll see a whole other world that has been waiting for you.

Like my post

These direct messages are becoming more and more common as people’s desperation for attention reaches the same levels as cocaine addiction in the 1980s when life was one big party accompanied by a Duran Duran song.

My answer is always no. If I like your post, two things happen:

I tell you that vanity metrics matter Your post is not affected

That’s right, social media platforms are smart. Me liking your post or having Richard Branson like your post with his millions of followers does nothing. If the content is poor, no amount of likes will matter.

No one has ever gone viral on the internet by pleading for likes. Content that goes viral is unexpected, random, and impossible to replicate. Focus on how you can be helpful.

Asking for likes will make you look desperate and those messages tend to be ignored.

A lack of context

Messages that lack a tiny bit of background tend to get ignored. If you don’t explain to someone who you are and why they should pay attention, they’ll likely skip over your message.

Note: that doesn’t mean sharing your life story either.

Give someone context when you reach out and explain why both of you have one or two areas of your life that are similar.

Explain how you can be helpful and demonstrate that you have done your research on the person you’re messaging.

Long messages

People’s time is precious, especially if they have been to the moon and back and you’re asking them for an interview.

The typical message length I recommend is three short paragraphs.

If you don’t respect people’s time with your message, you’ll likely not hear back. Put yourself in the shoes of someone who has achieved a lot in their career. Let’s do some basic math:

They get an average of 20 emails a day.

Each email is long and takes 5 minutes to read and 2.5 minutes to think about.

So in this scenario, it could take that person 2.5 hours to respond to everyone and that’s assuming they’re not a Hollywood actor that probably gets more than twenty emails per day.

That’s a lot of time to do a chore most people hate doing: responding to email.

Lazy messages

These are the messages that are whipped up quickly and lack any real thought. They might contain spelling areas or don’t clearly articulate anything a human could understand.

If you want a response to your message, you want to consider putting some thought into it. Otherwise, perhaps your goal of connecting with this person is not strong enough and you might be better saving your time and having a warm bath instead.

Self-promotion

These are the worst ones, in my opinion.

They’re those messages we all get that are designed to solve a problem that you don’t have and never mentioned to anybody. The self-promotional messages seek to predict what might be going on in your head and be the panacea to the problem.

These messages are written by people who say they are experts and want you to trust them.

They are the sort of messages Seneca warned against in the Roman Times.

These direct messages feel like going to a networking event and having a stranger you’ve never met jam a business card in your face. You want to vomit. You’ve been there, haven’t you?

Don’t be that person. Self-promotion messages rarely get through to anybody because they’re self-serving. Get to know someone first and you might have their ear for a few minutes.

Practical Steps for Direct Messages That Get a Reply

My hit rate on replies to direct messages is quite high. These are some of the practical steps I’ve learned:

Mention someone they know

This is the easiest hack I know. If you reach out to a stranger and mention someone they know, they’re much more likely to respond.

If you mention in a message to me, as an example, that you know Oleg Vishnepolsky, a well-known blogger on LinkedIn, and I confirm with him that’s true, it’s going to be harder for me to ignore that message.

Oleg is a kind man and given me loads of useful advice. By being friends with him, I’m more likely to stick up my tortoise neck and take note.

The people you know in common with the person you’re messaging will help you cut through the noise.

Reference their work

Mentioning someone’s work in your direct message is a great way to get their attention. People appreciate their audience more than you think.

If someone has read your work and sends you a message, the urge to reply is stronger. Reference people’s work and what you liked about it.

Share something difficult about yourself

Offering up vulnerability is another way to stand out from the crowd.

When you put yourself on the line and share a difficult moment or situation, you turn on people’s emotions and their sense of humanity.

A human having a rough time or enduring a struggle you’ve faced yourself is a hard message to ignore. These messages take courage and courage is often rewarded with a response.

Build a relationship first

The goal of the first message should be to get a reply and start a conversation.

It’s never wise to ask right up for something when you have no rapport. It’s easy to say no when you don’t know someone, but when you have a relationship with them, it’s harder.

Relationships are easy to start — begin them with the goal of having a conversation.

Give without asking for anything

A young lady on LinkedIn offered me a ticket to an event that meant a lot to me. She asked for nothing in return and it got my attention.

I ended up going to that event and a few months later, we built an awesome working relationship. I admire her because she understood the power of giving. It’s only natural that I wanted to help her in return with her project.

What was awesome was that she carefully selected the event and made sure I was around people that would be useful to my writing journey.

Give, give, give.

State what you’ve tried already

If you’re asking for advice from someone and you want a reply, state what you’ve tried already so you don’t come across as lazy and looking for shortcuts.

I do this by mentioning three experiments I’ve done and then politely asking whether there might be any others worth considering.

Put a link under your name when signing off

At the end of your message, you want to sign off with your name and one link that takes the person to your most valuable digital asset.

When I reach out to people who are in my target list, I’ll usually put a link to either my website or my LinkedIn. This gives the person a chance to research me and decide if my message is worth responding to.

Show your progress to date

When I used to reach out to people to interview — like Olympic Athletes, Former Presidents, high-profile entrepreneurs, etc. — I would reference my progress to date.

I’d mention people I interviewed who they would know and appreciate, and quoted various stats.

What was interesting was that back then I had no stats of my own.

I was writing for another blog and was able to reference their stats and their success as a substitute for my own.

Let them set the terms

When I reach out proposing meeting times, I let the person on the other end set the terms.

Do what works for you and feel free to tweak the subject, location, length, and time slot to your tastes.

People will love you for letting them set the terms. It makes them more likely to agree with your request and shows that you care about them.

Find an unmet need

DROCK, who works for popular social media personality Gary Vee, got his job working for him by finding an unmet need.

He knew Gary needed content so he reached out and gave Gary some of his work for free. His work was so good that Gary couldn’t resist and years later the two are still working together and traveling the world on planes with dirty windshields.

Find a need that the person you’re messaging likely has and offer to meet it for free.

Allow the person a get out of jail card

During a LinkedIn training session many years ago, the instructor taught the class how to help someone you’re messaging get out of jail.

All you do is at the end of each message, you give the person an out.

“If you can’t help or are too busy, I completely understand. Any response would be appreciated but certainly not expected.”

Dropping your expectations for a reply makes someone more likely to reply.