Society, Why do you hate Housewives?
By: Ebeth Ronaldo
Tags: Equality, Women

Society, Why do you hate Housewives?

Why today’s society talk about traditional housewives with a negative tone

Image via Google image - A Cultivated Nest

I grew up in a home where my dad was the main provider and my mom was a housewife. The reason why I say “was” is because she no longer works in her home and in fact she grew to hate the very title she used to have. She wanted independence and she got that by getting a job. It wasn’t that she was treated unwell, in fact she could go shopping whenever she wanted or do whatever she wanted, my dad took care of the family financially. We had maids and someone to cook our meals for us. But that’s not to say my mom was lazy, in fact she’s the best mom I could ever ask for. The true reason why she grew to dislike being labeled as a housewife is because of her failing marriage and her growing resentment on her views towards men.

Society has also grown to disdain traditional housewifery. In today’s world traditional roles in the home are frowned upon more then ever. It’s making people who prefer traditional roles (female, male or cis) conform into the society’s standards. I am a firm believer that people can have whatever dynamic they want in a relationship so as long as both partners agree and want to have that role. Today I see many women shaming other women who aspire to be a traditional housewife or a stay-at-home mom. Where has all this bias stem from?

Of course we have to look back at history where patriarchy played a huge role for female oppression. For centuries we were trying to get our voices heard and to get equal rights on every playing field in life. Mind you, I strongly advocate in equal rights between genders in everyway, but have we in the process of achieving that also began suppressing the minority? Have we misunderstood the feminism movement? The definition of feminism means the advocacy of women’s rights and equality of sexes on the behalf of women’s rights and interests. Yet when a woman says “I’m a housewife” she gets negative remarks about it. This article by the New York Times wrote that:

“ Housewives,” he explained, “are a near-extinct species in Sweden. And the few who still do exist don’t really dare to go public with it.” “ Across the developed world, women who stay home are increasingly seen as old-fashioned and an economic burden to society. If their husbands are rich, they are frequently berated for being lazy; if they are immigrants, for keeping children from learning the language and ways of their host country.”

This is a literal oppression of voices and the basic rights to speak. Is this called equality? I have witnessed many women around me who talk about wanting to stay at home and take care of their kids but they are conflicted with society’s pressure to be an “independent woman”.

Being a housewife is a full time job it ranges from: running or managing her family’s home — caring for her children; buying, cooking, and storing food for the family; buying goods that the family needs for everyday life; housekeeping, cleaning and maintaining the home; and making, buying and/or mending clothes for the family.

Look I’m not saying that a woman needs to be a housewife just to take care of her family, I believe that everyone has the choice with what they want to do with their life. No one really speaks up for a housewife today. They are viewed as lazy, spoiled and self-centered. This isn’t just my argument alone, there is a whole thread on Quora talking about it. It is upsetting that these women have to defend their decision and opinion. I have personally witnessed this as my mom was having a conversation with her sister and they were talking about payroll banking and her sister brushed off her opinion saying “What do you know about it? You haven’t worked for so long, so how would you understand these things?” Not only are housewives looked down upon, they are also perceived as dumb. My mom had passive income through investment so she knew and was familiar with what she was talking about.

Traditional housewifery is an occupation. Women with that occupation are intelligent and capable women. I have learnt so much from my mom while she was still a housewife. I marveled at her strength to conform against society’s standards and her time management skills. She managed the house and she also took a great care of me and herself. She knew how to improve her skills while she was a housewife. She never stopped learning and she took a great care of herself physically and mentally. She is a great role model to me.

Feminism is about fighting for equal rights of all women. Nobody should feel as if society is ready to throw daggers at them when they tell someone what they do. We can all start by thinking of them as human beings with an important occupation. Cancelling their opinions as invalid because they “haven’t been in the workplace for so long” is not acceptable. We should all respect people’s decision because after all it’s their life. Society have to stop this prejudice against them, they are not “useless” individuals just because they decided to lead a traditional life. To all the housewives out there I hope you can all proudly talk about what you do, there are many YouTube channels and platforms where you can connect with like minded women. I hope one day all these harmful prejudices in society can stop for once and for all.