Saying Goodbye To Fear On The R-Train
By: Ashley Cooper
Tags: Wine, Life Lessons, Passion

Saying Goodbye To Fear On The R-Train

On the R-train, stopped for half an hour. Someone’s sick in the train in front of us. Tending to the ill means sitting for the rest of us. At least everyone has a seat. It is a Saturday, 12;15 when we left. Some are getting antsy and annoyed, namely the man sitting next to me. “Just take the sick person off of the train. Then we can go. Just take them away”, he pleads. Others are looking around, maybe searching for similar feelings in the faces of those sitting around them? Some are sleeping. I’m listening to a podcast that I’m thankful downloaded before we lost service.

I’ve been feeling anxious myself lately. Lost in the everyday tasks. Struggling with the voices in my head asking questions about the future. What do you want to do? Where/what are your passions? Should it be this hard?

I’ve tried to write. It’s feeling forced. This all started a few weeks ago. When I got back from California. I’ve been going in circles. Write more like this. Write more topics on “that” subject, whatever it may be.

But here I am, now on a moving train (thankfully) listening to a podcast from The Guild of Sommeliers — the Past and Future of the Sommelier. I start to wonder…why do I keep toying with the decision to deepen my understanding of the world of wine yet almost always move away from it? Brushing aside the innate interest and enjoyment that arises when I watch a documentary, talk to someone at a wine store who tells me about a particular wine that would pair perfectly with my spicy sausage pasta with red sauce, when listening to these podcasts, or the (good) anxiousness of waiting for Into The Bottle to come out and wishing I could go to the Napa film festival to see its premiere.

While stuck on the R, I think I’ve figured it out.

Fear.

The possibility of failing. Not having whatever “it” is to make it. The wine industry was somewhat foreign to me when it came to being a profession. Other than making almost everyone I know watch Somm with me (going on 9 times now) when I find the chance to bring it up in a conversation, I don’t think many people I know are aware of the opportunities either. The unknown can be scary. It’s not accounting, marketing, law, medicine, etc. It’s a somewhat non-traditional path.

So, as I sit here, an hour after I left my house with still 30 minutes till I reach my destination, I realize I need to stop letting fear stop me. I know what I enjoy. I know where my passions are growing.

Now, I just need to get to it. I can do this.

As the beginning of this post reads, I wrote this on a Saturday — a few weeks ago actually. It is now Wednesday night and I’m happy to say I have officially started my journey! This afternoon I signed up for the WSET Level 1 course. The first level will cover the main styles and types of wine, the characteristics of the primary wine grape varieties, wine service and tasting technique to name a few topics. The course doesn’t begin until December (unless I get off the waitlist for November!) but I cannot wait to begin.

Celebrating with that bottle pictured above, carving pumpkins, and listening to a halloween playlist (monster mash, anyone?).

Don’t let fear hold you back from taking that first step. You’ll never know what you can achieve unless you try. Because really, what’s the alternative — wondering if you could have done this or that? Going over the “what ifs”? Not pursuing something that makes you happy? Life is hard but it’s much harder if you settle and don’t go after pure happiness.

So, cheers to saying goodbye to fear and acknowledging my passion while stuck in train traffic, to late night writing, and to a lot more wine in the future!

Thanks for reading!

This post originally appeared on Pardon My French where I share bits of New York living, food, diy projects, and now more wine. Follow along and say hello on the blog, twitter, or instagram!