All the reasons people hated on cyclists in Aotearoa this week.
By: Sarah Mohawk
Tags: Cycling, Bikenomics, Auckland

I stared into the abyss so you don’t have to.

People online and on talkback radio have been mad about cyclists over the past week. Like, hella mad. Cyclists getting something they wanted is the apparent trigger-point that caused half the population to blame all transport woes on our two-wheeled friends.

Most of these comments fall into the same typical categories, but some have been extra strange and unusual. For the sakes’ of easy sharing, here’s an almost complete list of the current anti-cycling objections in New Zealand.

Harbour bridge cops. Blurrily photographed on film by yours truly.

Car drivers sing the classics

They ride two abreast and it’s annoying.

This is legal, calm down.

They ride three and four abreast and it’s annoying.

Sure, that’s illegal, but most of the time cyclists will try to get out of your way if they hear you coming. It also happens far less often than all the annoying and more dangerous things cars do: driving the wrong way down a one-way street, parking on a yellow line, overtaking on a yellow line, intentionally passing close to ‘teach you a lesson’–the list goes on.

Cyclists don’t pay for the roads. If they want to use the road then they should pay.

We do pay for the roads. We pay taxes. We also offer wider economic benefits than cars do, because we reduce congestion in cities and reduce the effects of climate change.

Cyclists should be registered so when they break the law we can punish them.

The police have better things to do than field calls from car NIMBYs about things cyclists do that are completely legal, so this is never going to happen.

Cyclists don’t use the cycle lanes that exist they just ride on the road.

We don’t use cycle lanes sometimes because various compromises have been made that don’t make them fit for purpose, or a car has parked in them, or we want to do a right turn. Aside from all that, it’s legal.

Cyclists take up half the road.

Cars take up 100% of the road. Does that make them twice as bad?

Cyclists should pay for their own bridge.

As taxpayers that have received comparatively little infrastructure over the decades, we definitely are.

I don’t like seeing men in lycra.

Aside from being mildly homophobic, you don’t have to look.

Cyclists are men in lycra who sip lattes at the coffee shop, and come from wealthy inner city suburbs. They don’t deserve to get things for free.

The cyclists who wear lycra are going to go out riding regardless. The government doesn’t build bike lanes for them. The build them to get cars off the road and keep people who already cycle to work, the shops and school safe and out of hospital. These things save money for the general public.

Cyclists don’t follow the road rules.

We actually do follow the road rules. On occasion where we break the road rules, we are generally doing it for our own safety, because we’re squishy.

I drove past a cycle lane and didn’t see anyone there.

The point of cycle lanes (and bus lanes, for that matter) is that they aren’t easily congested the way roads are.

*insert personal anecdote about bad run in with cyclist here*

I can guarantee you have had more bad run ins with drivers than cyclists.

In the “I hate paying for stuff” category

Cyclists are free-loading off of the high ACC costs paid by motorcyclists and scooter riders.

Aside from the fact that cyclists do pay for ACC, as a whole, we save the health system money (on average, around $1k per person each year). The fact that you find paying ACC annoying is unrelated.

Dog registration costs $88 but cyclists don’t have to pay any registration.

These two things are also unrelated. Dogs also cost society more money than cyclists do, because we collectively have to pay for animal welfare.

Cyclists are stealing territory from the cars who have to pay congestion charges.

Cyclists don’t cause congestion, and therefore don’t need to pay congestion charges. There’s no point in making people who are helping to solve the problem pay.

It’s only fair on everyone that cyclists pay.

We pay with our taxes and with the benefits we offer to the economy. So I guess we agree.

[Insert other thing here] deserves money!

Ashburton deserves a bridge because theirs is broken.

Sure.

Nurses deserve a pay rise and they should use the cycle lane money to pay for that.

The government has other money. They aren’t spending their very last $750 million on a cycle lane.

The only answer to boosting the economy is roads and business.

Mike Hosking’s favourite argument. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The cost-benefit ratio of cycling is at least $2 for every dollar spent, usually more. Connected Communities’ value is $3.7. Whereas, significant roading projects average under $2 CBR. In further research commissioned by the NZTA, cycle infrastructure could bring more than $20 in benefit to society for every dollar spent over the next 40 years.

“I’m thinking of safety”

Cyclists should pass a driving theory and practical test before they are allowed to ride on the roads.

Most of us have full driving licences, and we have to know the road rules better than drivers’ do because if we make a wrong move we will literally die.

Cyclists bikes should have a warrant of fitness to ensure they are safe for the road.

Bicycles don’t have a warrant because they don’t kill people when they fail. Also, the majority of bicycle accidents are not caused by the mechanical integrity of a bike. When things fail, they don’t fail catastrophically because the weight and speed is not high like in a motor vehicle. This argument is about cost and punishment not safety.

I get blinded by cyclists with strobing lights.

Cars get mad when they can’t see us, and get mad when they can. The mixed messaging is very confusing.

If a truck can get blown over on the bridge in high winds, what hope does a cyclist have?

A truck is significantly more of a sail than a cyclist is, but thanks for your concern.

I’m tired of their entitlement. They think they own the roads. The amount of times they’ve swung out into my path without checking…!

Cars expect us to move as far left as possible to let them pass, but also hate when we need to navigate around parked cars and other obstructions on the road. We can’t win here.

No hand signals on where they are turning.

This is legal. Cyclists only have to indicate if it’s safe. If they need to use their hands to safely corner and use brakes, they should do that.

I know of people who have been injured by careless cyclists who crash into pedestrians.

Pedestrians step out in front of us without looking all the time, and often they’ll be distracted, wearing headphones. We don’t want to crash into them.

I have a disability and taking away carparks will mean I can’t access things.

A genuine concern, but in urban projects the option for disability parking will not be removed. The removal of parking is for parks available to the general population, which typically aren’t that disability-friendly anyways.

General road rage

Cyclists get mad at me when I close pass them, yet they can close pass me whenever they like.

You have a 2-tonne shield around you. We have 1–3 layers of clothing. Seem fair?

Cyclists should be punished for running red lights.

Have you considered that we’re trying to get out of the way, so that we don’t hold you up when the lights turn green? It’s almost always a safety thing.

Here’s an example for those in Auckland: At the Symonds St and Karangahape Rd intersection, AT has recently made it legal for cyclists to cross on the red light (Barnes dance crossing). It just makes sense, because cyclists can give way to pedestrians and still have plenty of time to cross, but they won’t be in the path of cars trying to merge onto the motorway on-ramp. In all of previous history, this was an illegal manoeuvre. The experts agree this is good.

I hate them, they’re maggots that deserve to be run off the road.

There are a lot worse comments than this, but I’ll spare you the detail. Sure is lucky that these people have signalled their murderous intent on the internet.

I had cyclists holding hands occupying the car lane knowingly that they blocked the car behind them.

Romantic.

I’m sick and tired of safely overtaking a cyclist only to have them skip past all the traffic that JUST passed them at the lights and start the process all over again.

You know that you don’t have to race up to the traffic lights at full tilt right? They’ll just be red anyway.

It’s annoying when I’m driving on country roads and I come across cyclists in the way.

Plenty of us try to ride on quiet country roads that keep away from as many cars as possible. If you want to drive fast, use the highway.

People don’t go to Prego’s in Ponsonby by bicycle.

People who go to Prego’s in Ponsonby can definitely afford to take a taxi if they need to.

The police should punish the cyclists for breaking the law protesting.

In New Zealand we have the right to protest. This is no different to the protest groups that march on Queen street.

I hate that cyclists are getting a bridge when they might be riding recreationally and I need to drive to work.

Aside from cycle commuting being the most common bicycle activity in the central city, you can’t say people never drive cars places recreationally.

I have had enough of this ideological war on cars!

If you think driving a car is an ideology, you’re doing it wrong.

Now, all of this car-based negativity might be making you sad, worried, concerned for your safety while you’re out and about cycling in the city. However, this morning the ‘Liberate the Lane–Cycle Lane Special’ event provided us with a ray of sunshine.