Being Patient in an Impatient World
By: Bregas Maulana
Tags: Life, Patience, Mental Health, Philosophy, Wellbeing

We seems forgetting what it means to be patient.

With the digital era at its peak, everything has become faster, simpler, and more convenient. Nowadays, when we’re feeling hungry, we don’t have to go through the painstaking process of preparing ingredients, mixing or sauteing them in a pan, and washing the dishes afterward. A few taps on our phones is all it takes to get food delivered to us within the minutes.

If we’re missing someone and want to see them right away, we no longer have to wait for one or both of our schedules to clear up or travel great distances to see them. We have WhatsApp and FaceTime.

With advanced technology, we enjoy instant gratification and have come to expect it like a basic right. At the same time, unfortunately, we are slowly forgetting what it means to be patient.

We took things for granted.

We all want instant gratification and want things without waiting. It has lead us to a life where we have very little patience. Maybe it is time we slow down and practice a little patience.

For instance, that you’re waiting for someone to finish compiling a task that you need for a group project. You’re already late, you can feel your body getting tense, and you’re starting to get angry. Suddenly, you lose your temper and yell at the person for putting you behind schedule. You can see that they’re shocked and upset by your outburst, but you can’t help it.

We likely all lose our patience occasionally. But doing so frequently or inappropriately can harm your reputation, damage your relationships, increase stress, and escalate a difficult situation.

We get irritated easily.

Oftentimes, our patience is tested by several things. You may consider some people to be slow learners, hard to understand, or even downright unreasonable. Or, they may have bad habits that drive you crazy.

A serious setback in life, like waiting long term for the outcome of a project. Also include your ability to work toward a long-term goal whether it’s professional, such as a education, or personal, like getting fit or saving for a vacation.

Also sometimes we have to deal with circumstances that are beyond our control. Something as trivial as getting stuck in a traffic line, for instance, waiting for a browser to load, or being through this Covid-19 pandemic.

As Buddha quote in his proverb, he says “An arahant (enlightened one) never loses his temper, he has no desire to speak harshly or to think ill of others. He is like a mountain of solid rock; as a solid rock is unshaken, so also, an arahant is unperturbed by scorn or by praise.”

We don’t realize that we’ve become impatient person.

Impatience has its roots in frustration. It’s a feeling of rising stress that starts when you feel that your needs and wishes are being ignored. In a modern environment where we’re accustomed to instant communication and immediate access to data, it’s a growing problem. But recognizing the warning signs can help you to prevent impatience from taking hold.

Impatience has a range of symptoms. Physical signs can include shallow, fast breathing, muscle tension, and hand clenching. Or you may find yourself restlessly jiggling your feet.

There may be changes in your mood and thoughts, too. You may become irritable, angry, or experience anxiety or nervousness. Rushing to do things and making snap decisions — the symptoms of hurry sickness — are clear signs that your impatience is gaining the upper hand.

Get this emotion passed by.

When you feel impatient, it’s important to get out of this damaging frame of mind as quickly as possible. Try to develop strategies to deal with your impatience as you notice it.

Take deep, slow breaths, and relax your body. Force yourself to slow down. Make yourself speak and move more slowly. It will appear to others as if you’re calm and acting patient often makes you feel more patient.

Remember, you do have a choice about how you react to certain situations. You can choose to be patient, or not: it’s up to you. Challenge your negative assumptions, instead of letting your impatience build. Aim to reframe the circumstances in a more positive light.

Learning patience.

The meaning of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. In other words, patience is the ability to stay calm while you’re waiting for an outcome that you need or want.

Yet patience is essential to daily life and might be key to a happy one. Having patience means being able to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity, so anywhere there is frustration or adversity, we have the opportunity to practice it.

At home with our parents, at school with our colleagues, at the public spaces with half our city’s population, patience can make the difference between annoyance and equanimity, between worry and tranquility.

As Kahlil Gibran wrote in his poem, he says “When I planted my pain in the field of patience it bore fruit of happiness.”

Be more empathetic.

Practicing empathy can enable you to defuse your impatience. Give the other person your full attention, and try to see beyond your own frustrations by imagining yourself in the other person’s position.

Remind yourself that impatience rarely has a positive effect — in fact, it may even interfere with the person’s ability to perform. Impatience will likely generate more conflict and stress, which will be counterproductive.

Although some people are naturally patient, the rest of us need to practice, for it to become a habit. Becoming more patient won’t happen overnight, but persistence can pay off.

Don’t rush things.

Take it slow. It can be so easy to get caught up in the excessive demand of our modern society and our fast-paced yet purposelessness impatient world. But, just because it’s possible, doesn’t necessarily mean you should do it. Not every situation needs to be a race against the clock.

You may likely feel like you’re in a race against time. You may questioning yourself about your future as such as “what’s next?”. You may have some answers, but you don’t have it all figured out quite yet. That leaves you feeling a little confused about the future.

You may start comparing yourself to others and looking at the real world as one big competition. Meanwhile, you should know that you’re not supposed to have it all figured out. In fact, it’s much better to move at your own pace with those things.

Patience is a marathon.

The road to achievement is a long one, and those without patience — who want to see results immediately — may not be willing to walk it. As decent human beings, we should be willing to pay our dues and wait patiently in our daily life for growing and learning.

We should acknowledge that patience allowed us to do good deeds and wait for others to reciprocate, instead of demanding immediate compensation which would more likely lead to conflict than cooperation. In that same vein, patience is linked to trust in the people and the institutions around us.

Patience is a quality of the heart. The more patient you are, the better person you become. A wise and patient person is as sturdy as rock, he/she is undisturbed by praise and humiliation. Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while you are waiting. The feeling of climax is not depending on the intensity, but on what comes before.

As Thom Yorke (Radiohead) wrote in his song — Lotus Flower — he says, “Slowly we unfurl, as lotus flowers” The lotus is the most beautiful flower, whose petals open one by one. But it will only grow in the mud. In other words, if we are to strive as human beings to gain more wisdom, more kindness and more compassion, we must have the intention to grow as a lotus and open each petal one by one patiently.

Be patient, be happy.

Assume that the obstacle before you was put in your way because you needed to slow down and take a break. Watch your impulse to perceive the challenge before you as unfair or as bad timing.

Instead, shake off any anger or frustration and take this as a cue or a reminder for you that you need a moment to slow down and reset. If you shift your thinking about the meaning of the obstacle, you’ll wind up arriving wherever you’re headed with a calmer, clearer mind and attitude.

Getting better at being patient will make your life easier and ultimately will make you a happier person. So you may as well learn to improve your patience and calmly endure the setbacks, difficulties, and unwelcome roadblocks along the way.

— Remember that patience may be bitter, but its fruit is sweet.