Would you give someone another chance in a Relationship?
By: Dada Bhagwan
Tags: Self Improvement, Relationship Advice, Karma, Relationships, Marriage

Within you, there are infinite energies to resolve any kind of conflicts, no matter how severe they may be!!

So, today, as we try to find the answer to your question, we shall learn how to invoke these energies, by taking the help of the Enlightened view of Gnani; for that is indeed the ideal way to go…

Prejudice ruins worldly interactions.

If someone has deceived you or has behaved badly according to you, why keep remembering and reminding it? It is not at all a helpful thing. You simply have to see what the person is doing at present; or else it is called prejudice. Prejudice means you keep the other person’s past doings in your constant awareness. Who knows the person who behaved with you in a manner that you didn’t like before, has come to bring you very good fortune today?

Therefore, when time comes to interact with that person, do not hold any prejudice against him. It is harmful, both for you and the other person too, because when you have prejudice, you are all set to ruin your further interaction with that person.

The person behaved with you the way he did, due to ‘your’ past karmas.

Whatever suffering you undergo, is due to your past karmic accounts coming into effect. The other person is only doing the duty, like that of a postman, to deliver what is addressed to you. In other words, it is actually your own past deed, which is making him do it. When it’s time for particular past karma to unfold, if your unfolding karma is good, his conduct towards you will be positive, and vice-versa. The law of karma is as simple as that!

Our happiness is halted because of our opinions only.

Once you understand the law of karma surely and correctly, you will not have opinions for anybody. This will take some time though. But until then, at least know that it is very wrong and harmful to have opinions for somebody. You cannot see things as they are because of opinions; you cannot experience bliss of freedom because there is this veil of opinion. To bind an opinion for anyone is our own fault, it is our mistake and not anyone else’s.

When we understand our fault, we must do pratikraman.

Pratikraman means to recall every mistake of ours, and clear each one of them through the 3 steps:

1. Confess your mistake before God,

2. Repent for the mistake with a true heart,

3. Vow never to repeat this mistake, asking for strength from God.

Until we don’t do pratikraman as stated above, our negative opinion continues to send out negative vibes and keeps causing hurt to the other person, as a result of which that person will not have a positive feeling for us. But when we start doing pratikraman sincerely and heartily, the effect of the hurt that we’ve caused due to our bad opinions for the other person begins to disappear.

You can become faultless when you do not have any opinions at all. So with all the love in your heart, you may forsake all the opinions and forgive your partner; and taking responsibility for your mistakes, seek forgiveness for the hurt caused to each other so far. When whatever happens is because of our unfolding karmas, why not pay off our karmic debt with a loving heart then?

The amount of pratikramans that you must do is directly proportional to the amount of strong opinions you’ve had for the person; only then your inner intent becomes clean and pure. Based on our inner intent, we bind new karma, which in turn brings new suffering in future. Therefore, your intent should always be, “May no living being be caused any hurt through my thoughts, words or actions. May the person, with whom I’m in relationship, never be caused any hurt through my thoughts, words or actions.”

The common human tendency is: I am correct; I’m not at fault…

…it is always others who are incorrect, it is all their fault. Whereas the Enlightened Ones can see thousands of evidences which prove how the other person is not at fault. Only when we see how the other person is not at fault, we stand a chance to start seeing our own mistakes in the entire matter. And it’s in our own interest because only when we can see our own mistakes, can we change ourselves for the better, isn’t it?

For any unhappiness in our life, no one, but our own ego is responsible!

The very thought that “should I or would I give someone another chance…” smells of egoism. Who are we to give or not give someone a chance? The entire world stands on egoism, not knowing that this ego is the root cause of all our pain and suffering; because if there is no ego, no binding of karma takes place, and if there is no bound karma, no suffering takes place either.

This ego is not worth protecting. Our ego can come to zero only when it attains the awareness of really, ‘Who am I’. And the easiest and the best way to get there is by attaining Self-Realization. Our current generation is fortunate that we have amongst us the Living Gnani, with whose grace, we can attain Self-Realization and know really, who am I; because only a lit lamp can enlighten the others!!!

After attaining Self-Realization, we get to experience what is real love! because only where there is no ego, there is real love.

Relationship loses its significance if there is no love in it…

Owing to the odds, one may have to make a few detours, but those who truly love each other, will always find out ways to be back together, for love always unites and love is naturally forgiving!

There is never any adverse reaction in real love. Hence, no matter how many ups and downs come in life, the relationship of those who truly love, remains intact and unaffected…