Christmas Letter 2020
By: Sam Hollingum
Tags: Gratitude, Motivation, Self Care, Christmas, Letters

To all who reads this.

I have not published anything since February.

I have drafted and discarded many ideas because my mind has not been in the right space for writing and publishing in this manner.

But why now? Why bother? Why care? Why listen to me?

I want to kick this off with a small passage from a letter I wrote to someone close to me in early September:

— — — —

“This has been and is continuing to be an important and character defining year for many of us.

Reality is holding a mirror up to our face and letting us see ourselves for who we really are.

The mirror feels particularly polished and shiny this year.

Revealing the black, the white and the grey, but in full Technicolour.

With that I ask; ‘Mirror Mirror on my wall, what insights can guide me to not fall?’

Life is going to get harder and tougher for all of us.

Life is going to become more frustrating, more tedious and more boring with the perpetual Dharmic and Abrahamic wheels of suffering.

Life is going to become more divisive, disheartening and demeaning from the essence of our anthropological and ecological nature, as the exponential rate of technological advances steam ahead like a train.

All gas no brakes.”

— — — —

To put into a crude manner of speech, this year has been a succession of Freight Trains to the face.

The multiple rounds of Isolation, Lock-down and removal of freedoms forced me to reflect, acknowledge and learn from the transformative year that has been the last twelve months.

What I have learnt is that life, agnostic of this year, is a continual journey and story of change, momentum and adaptability.

This year has presented and afforded me a rather large change of heart.

When much has been removed and taken from you, it forces you to take stock of what you have, what you own, what you don’t own, what you need, what you want, what you are able to have and what you really need to get through a day or a week.

I imposed on myself rounds of brutal and honest examinations of myself, my shortcomings, my faults, my imperfections and my own behaviour.

Breaking myself apart for my sanity.

It has been hard and tiring work changing and installing habits, mindsets and patterns of behaviour.

But it is for a good cause: Self Care above all.

But not in an egotistical manner that creates harm and detriment to others.

Rather, it is a selfish mindset to continually improve yourself that benefits not only you but for the greater good of your peers, your loved ones and everyone else in this tapestry of the Universe.

To arrive at this, I’ve spent a fair amount of time trying to find ways of explaining and understanding this year:

I have probably gone through enough Notebooks, Pens and Post It Notes to run a small stationary shop to organise my thoughts, fears, worries, dreams and hopes.

I’ve watched and listened to hundreds of hours of interviews, podcasts and discussions drilling deep into the psyche of Humans as a species, whether it be self motivation/self help or commentaries on the events of this year.

I’ve spent months talking and listening to people on how they personally and professionally deal with the last twelve months.

I’ve read up to ten plus books this year about Anthropology, Media Studies, Psychology, Sociology, Economics, Eastern Philosophy and Russian History to find these explanations and understandings.

(There have been three books this year which have particularly helped me deal with this year:)

The Gulag Archipelago; Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Tao Te Ching; Lao Tzu

Shambhala The Sacred Path of the Warrior; Chogyam Trungpa

If there is one revelation I discovered from all of this, it is this:

There is tremendous good and evil in all of us, and walking the line between them is the eternal struggle.

This letter has been one big declaration that:

I know we are all hurting.

I have been hurting along with you.

But we are going to be alright.

We are all a lot stronger than we think.

It’s going to be a long long time for us to bounce back.

But we are going to be alright.

I hope you all are finding strength and courage to bounce back.

I know we are all hurting.

But we are going to be alright.

All I wish for Christmas is that all who read this are happy, healthy & healing themselves and those close to them.

As always: Be kind, because there is no rewind.

Love,

Samta Claus.