26 things from my first fit of legitimate nostalgia: a listicle, v.1
By: Elijah E. Davis
Tags: Mobile, Grandparents, Listicles, Christmas, Nostalgia

It’s my #RodWoodsonYear, and I suppose I’m old enough now to slip into fits of convulsive nostalgia. Maybe not convulsive.

If this was not in your shop…

Here are some intentional run-ons that are evoked with each aromatic whiff of pie in the oven.

Merry CHRISTmas (if you know, you know).

I miss 5 disc CD changers with cassette players and an FM radio and having an early frustration with irrational numbers of stations I miss my grandmother’s abacus that she gave me IN THE 1990s along with her encyclopedia collection that was 3x my body weight I miss Zomba, Verity and Hosanna record labels and Black chords that disrupt music theory and how Kirk Franklin and the Family used to BUMP, especially during CHRISTmas I miss Alvin Slaughter singing on the same green set for the Mobile TBN station and running around my grandparent’s church after I tried to play the drums and then picking up pecans outside in Prichard, AL I miss Chuck E. Cheese not being a menacing but well-designed rodent and running away from the metal slide at the park I miss Springdale Mall, the Festival Center Theater and Toy Story. I miss ZOOM Kids (proto NPR), Puzzle Place, Captain Planet (really, all of those nations combined to make a Brad?), Nigel Thornberry (colonizers!), Arthur, The Magic School Bus and Bill Nye the Science Guy (proto NPR) I miss The Amazing Spiderman and the first iteration of Boomerang which featured the legendary but directionless Johnny Quest along with Talespin and the prescient Darkwing Duck I miss Batman: The Animated Series, Dexter’s Lab, PowerPuff Girls, Batman Beyond, WB Kids! and primordial CGI (Action Man), Buzz Lightyear and Super Mario on NES; and me loving Hanna-Barbera cartoons but being uncomfortable with the black foot in Tom & Jerry I miss Dollar Tree lightsabers and my Qui-Gon Jinn PREZ toy and my Mighty Ducks toys and NBA Jam/Shaq as #34 I miss my grandmomma’s driveway, which was as large as the Daytona 500 for my skateboard and wagon I miss the Lion King being played during church nursery and fallaciously connected to the story of Noah and the Lion of Judah but it was okay because I had animal crackers and later dominating toddler Sunday School, taking all of the crackers I miss the joy of Black cousins and my first snow fight at Ma Julie’s house for which I was heartlessly used as collateral damage I miss Super Solvers: Midnight Rescue, Windows 98 and being an activist to free CD-ROMs from their bondage in cereal boxes I miss Sounds of Blackness and Richard Smallwood in the purple suit and Donald Lawrence in a kufi and ambient Tupac albums in the background I miss sneaking to watch Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Dragonball Z people defeating Cell, and Samurai Jack I miss my paper bag puppet of MLK for my first Black History Month speech I miss life before I saw the TV set told me about two planes running into buildings and interrupting my story time I miss seeing the world from kid-scale height and my first part/fade combination (#5 on the above chart) I miss the 90’s graphic design aesthetic and baby grunge music on toy commercials on Cartoon Network I miss the last re-runs of Gumby being my cue to go to sleep I miss being entitled to lick the spoon of desserts, my grandmomma’s oatmeal and my grandmomma kitchen collabs feat. my momma I miss my homemade Zorro cape and VHS tape (Antonio Banderas), and my acrobatic skills fighting off invaders being realized off of beds and banisters and doing all of this in my Cordell Stewart jersey I miss my grandmomma’s den, “grannyhouse”, court shows, feeding the birds with my grandad and larger than life, incorruptible recliners I miss the last time, 20 years ago, everyone was together and Christmas tree ornaments being repurposed as invading alien spaceships for my toy battles I miss my grandmomma

*I do not miss Thomas the Train, he and the Claymation were creepy. Who talks to you while they run you over?