Taking Control
By: Gwynneth Amour Sumagaysay
Tags: Choices, Life, Academic, Heartbeat

Photo by Luan Rezende from Pexels

We all have those moments where we recognize the distinct sound of the heartbeat. For me, I remember an experience when hearing the very words “Junior year”. Only two words. But these words made my heart beat as though I was on a rollercoaster, at top of the track, waiting for the inevitable moment: the instant, unforgiving drop. I knew what was coming, and it was fear that made my stomach curl up: mixed emotions taking over my entire body. Just like any other student, I was determined, yet anxious. I knew that junior year is a defining part of one’s high school journey, especially in the eyes of college admissions officers. Questions among my peers like “How many APs are you taking?”, “What leadership roles do you have?”, and “How many volunteer hours have you completed?”, all added to the unspoken tension that eerily cropped up behind every incoming junior. It’s the feeling of being watched, and knowing that your actions really matter, that cultivate a sense of uneasiness and stress for many students.

Fast forward to present day. I open my laptop, sit on my white desk, and attend my AP English Language Class via Zoom as usual — the new norm while coping in a global pandemic. I clicked on the link on the agenda, and it took me to Brian Doyle’s Joyas Voladoras. At first glance, I’ll admit that I wasn’t particularly interested. The general gist being that life, on a broad scale, is driven by the heart — literally, and emotionally. Doyle comments on the heart in relation to its function to sustain life in different organisms, whether that be hummingbirds, blue whales, or humans themselves. He contrasts the strong and continuously working aspect of a heart by characterizing it to be fragile. It too, can be swayed from “the shatter of glass… the memory of your father… the words I have something to tell you…”. From this, we are introduced to the idea that the heart is inclined with our emotions/thoughts as much as it is to the body’s functions. However, what really intrigued me was this particular quote:

“Every creature on earth has approximately two billion heartbeats to spend in a lifetime. You can spend them slowly, like a tortoise and live to be two hundred years old, or you can spend them fast, like a hummingbird, and live to be two years old.”

When I first read this, I was genuinely surprised. I didn’t know that despite all organisms being different sizes and having unique lifestyles, they actually share a common trait that determines our lifespan. I also find it interesting how Doyle portrayed heartbeats to be something that you can physically exchange. It’s as though he were comparing it to money, or coupons, that we “spend” based on our decisions/ our choices to do so. What was said afterwards is when I became really hooked. I’ve always seen heartbeats as the very thing that leads our life — the determining factor that influences our everyday choices. After all, that’s what I learned in science class. This is why Doyle’s perspective of heartbeats disrupted my initial thoughts. He counters my previous mindset, actually saying the very opposite. He proposes that the choices we make hold a greater power, and our heartbeats are used to compensate for those decisions — as if they were to come second.

Instead of viewing a heartbeat as a sign of life like I had prior to reading this article, Doyle makes it to be something that lets you have a life worth living — unrestricted, and solely dependent on what you choose. The roles are reversed, in that our choices are what lead us throughout life. By mentioning the differences between a hummingbird and a tortoise, Doyle emphasizes how different our lives can turn out to be based on our decisions. It demonstrates that despite having the same amount of heartbeats in their lifetimes, everyone goes at their own pace, in their own separate ways, and for their own benefits. This in turn altered my mindset on how to go about life, especially in terms of school, and thus, resonated with me.

This brings me back to the little anecdote at the start. Like many students, I’m often stressed about my classes, the workload, and upcoming tests. However, I recognized some parallels between what was said in the quote and students during junior year. All of us students have access to the same resources and attend the same classes, similar to how every creature has the same number of heartbeats in their lifespan. In the same manner, it made me realize that as students, we should go at our own pace and take on different pathways throughout life, based on what is best suited for us as individuals. Just like said in the quote, tortoises go about their life slowly, which is why they can live to be two hundred years old. If they were as fast-paced, and energy-driven as hummingbirds, their lives would be different, and not necessarily best suited for them. This made me realize that fitting in a certain demographic when worrying about colleges and what occurs during junior year isn’t most important nor effective. We should take what we have, and use it to our advantage/ in favor of who we are as separate individuals. Most of all, I became reassured and less worried in regards to what is known to be a stressful time. I think that this was my major takeaway after reading Brian Doyle’s Joyas Voladoras, and shows how Doyle’s perspective had influenced a change in mine.