I could kiss you!
Tags: Kindness, Good People, Kissing, Covid-19, Company Culture

Today I want to share a rather personal story with you. A story that I think is funny, but that’s not the main reason for sharing it. There are three lessons hidden in this story and I will get back to them, after my story…

Oh no. The flashing blue lights behind me, the bright red stop sign in the dark. I knew I was in trouble: this was bad. What a way to end a pretty good night…

The night had started ok enough. I was having a birthday dinner at my house for one of our foster children together with my ex-husband. It was fine and we were civil (thank god for social distancing) but to be frank: dinner with my ex-husband wasn’t quite the way I wanted to spend my night.

© ACP

Like so many people I struggle with the forced isolation that comes with this pandemic and this night I was really feeling it. I just miss meeting new people. I’m an extrovert and I pretty much always like company. But this year I’ve been stuck at home too often, especially after my boyfriend broke up with me at the start of the first lock down.

While I was doing the dishes there was a sudden clarity: there had been too many nights like this, I decided: it is time to do something about it! If anybody is going to get me out of this, it’s going to be me … I checked some of the dating apps I had recently installed on my phone and bingo. There was someone in the exact same situation as me. We started chatting and pretty soon he invited me over for a drink. What the hell, I thought: “You only live once.”

In any other year a bar would have been an obviously place for a first in person meeting. But because of the covid restrictions we had no other option than to meet at his place. I threw caution to the wind, got in the car and drove over to his house. During the trip it struck me how, at work, online recruitment does not work for me, I simply have to meet candidates face to face. That’s why I always do interviews in person at Schuberg Philis, because when you want to know whether someone is a good fit, nothing beats being able to look them in the eye. It turns out that online dating is the same: you can chat for a long time but when you meet in person, it only takes a second to know if it’s going somewhere. I hadn’t seen this guy -but online- I was about to meet. Who would he be?

When he opened the door, I knew instantly that he wouldn’t murder me. He seemed nice. When you meet someone in their own home you get a pretty good idea of who they are. We actually hit it off. Both of us genuinely enjoyed this opportunity to finally meet someone new. Our conversation flowed easily, and he was as much an extrovert as I am. You miss all the emo-shots you don’t take, I thought. This was a pretty good date!

After a few hours at this stranger’s place, I drove back home, feeling a bit giddy. Perhaps I was a little bit overconfident and reckless, so I didn’t realize I was going faster and faster. The road was empty, the music was loud and because I drive a Tesla I didn’t really hear the engine either. It wasn’t until the flashing blue lights behind me that I realized I was in trouble. If I was lucky it would just be a massive fine. And just as I pulled over, I remembered I forgot to bring my driver’s license when leaving my house in a hurry. Great!

In a millisecond I decided I would just be honest — pretty much the best approach in any situation. Two cops walked over and while I got out of my car I blurted out: ‘I know, I know, I’ve been really stupid, I wasn’t paying attention and I know I deserve a fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it.’

”Indeed ma’am your speeds caught our attention.” The officers were surprised, as they are probably used to people getting annoyed. When one of them asked me why I had been speeding, I didn’t blink and I told him the whole story: how I had just met this random guy on a dating app, how we had a great night and how I was enjoying this carefree feeling by driving home and because I needed to get back to my dog.

The cops hadn’t expected me to be so candid. My mood must’ve been contagious, because they started to laugh as well. He told me he was happy that I had had such a great night and he asked me all about my dog, as he was a huge dog lover. After a while he nodded and told me to get back on the road. He let me get off without a ticket. “Oh I could kiss you,” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry ma’am, but the covid restrictions prevent that,” he deadpanned.

Perhaps it was the Christmas spirit, perhaps it was the moment we shared on that empty highway in the dead of the night, but I just know I will never forget it. It felt great to meet a fellow human being who understood that we are good people, even if we make a mistake. He didn’t judge me based on one slip up, he saw me as a fellow human being trying to make the best of life. It was heartwarming, especially in these times. It confirmed what I always believe: most people are good people.

So, after telling my tale, there are three things that I hope are good advice to others too. And, no, I’m not referring to how to date in corona times.

Honesty is the best policy. Most people are good people. And, if you are unhappy about your situation, it is up to you to take action. Because we all share this human need to find a ‘stable’, to belong.

So for those of you that are afraid to reach out, that are alone during Christmas and don’t want to be, or feel that they are just going through the motions for the sake of going through the motions, or something else. Be honest about it and speak up! Most people are good people and willing to help you, especially if they know you are in need.

Love,

Lotta Croiset van Uchelen