NSFW: Adult star Vuko tells us everything you ever wanted to know about Rule 34, and more
By: Chris Burlingame
Tags: Parody, Interview, Woodrocket, Pornography, Vuko

Still from Vencum trailer

PLEASE NOTE: ASSUME ALL LINKS IN THIS POST ARE NSFW.

In internet speak, many of us are familiar with “Rule 34” which holds that “If it exists, there is porn of it. If there isn’t, there will be.” While I believe that to be true, it doesn’t happen inside of a vacuum. There are dedicated people committed to turning out quality porn parodies, putting in dozens, or hundreds of hours of (umm) hard work.

One of the most clear examples to confirm this rule to me was a little over a week ago, when I saw the newest Marvel movie, Venom, early Friday afternoon, on its first weekend. Before probably 90% of its October record-breaking weekend had even seen it, I had gotten an e-mail announcing that the porn parody was already available for viewing online.

The Venom parody is hilariously called “Vencum” and comes courtesy of the online content website WoodRocket. It stars adult film stars April O’Neil and Tommy Pistol. Vuko and Lee Roy Myers wrote the script, with Vuko also co-starring in a non-sex role. The WoodRocket team has been responsible for such parodies as “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles,” “Game of Bones,” “Hamiltoe,” and more that would easily amuse the twelve year old boy that I haven’t grown out of, no matter how many times I read The New Yorker every week.

I chatted with Vuko by phone late last week to learn more about what she does and how she keeps Rule 34 perpetuating.

Can you tell me what the process is like for making a parody? I saw on Twitter that you just were filming “Vencum” just a couple of weeks ago and how it came on the same day that Venom was in theaters.

Oh, yeah. We pump them out pretty quick. Basically, how it works is we’ll sit down for a meeting, and we’ll bring out five ideas for either a popular video game or a popular film that’s coming out soon. Then, between those five, I’d say, we pick one that we think is going to be the most popular and get the most attention. We write it, film it usually a week or two after we write it. Sometimes, we write it a month earlier depending on what kind of deadline we’re looking at, but again we can pump it out in about a week if we have to. So, if we write it on Monday, shoot it on Friday, we can have it edited by weekend and out the following Monday.

From Twitter.com/vuko__

I went to see Venom last Friday, the day that it opened, or I guess it opened Thursday night. I got a press release by e-mail from your publicist saying that the parody is already out, which is why I wanted to talk to you, because I was just blown away by how fast you had it out.

Yeah. It’s a lot easier making a porno than it is to make a full length feature. We can scramble shit together really quickly, if we have to.

Do you study the trailer and see what it looks like, or do you…

Oh, yeah. We always look at the trailer or an episode of something. When we’re looking at the trailer, we’re trying to get a feel for the colors of the movie. Was it shot really dark? Is there a bunch of neon and shit in it? We’re trying to make it look somewhat like it. Not enough to get in trouble, but enough to where people will look at it, and immediately see, oh, it kind of looks like the trailer, or, oh, it kind of reminds me of the film because of this and that.

How did you get into making parodies? I just think they’re all super clever, and this is something that I’ve kind of been obsessed with pretty much my entire life. Part of my sense of humor never grew out of the twelve year old boy phase where I would see a popular movie and think of what the porn parody would be called.

Same. I grew up really interested in adult movies, of course, for obvious reasons, and of course because I saw that someone could have sex for a living, it fucking fascinated me as a job. This is what people do? I have to get in on this. I never wanted to be the one to have sex on camera, because that makes me uncomfortable, but I wanted to have something to do with the creating of the films. I just started following LeRoy Myers on Twitter because he made “Wet Dream on Elm Street.” I thought that was a great parody. I was like, I need to follow this guy. He’s funny. Then, he started following me back because we had a mutual friend.

He hit me up one day via DM asking if I wanted to do a modeling gig for them. We were doing a recreation of The Shining. We have a photo gallery on WoodRocket of The Shining. So, I modeled for them for that. I did a couple more modeling gigs for them, and they were like, “Hey, would you be interested in maybe PAing on one of our movies?” I was like, “Fucking yes. I would love to watch people have sex. Let’s do this.” Showed up, I did the PA job, and apparently I did not suck at it, because they kept giving me more stuff to do, and I just eventually came to be writing for them.

I had to go back and watch all the parodies, “Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles” was another one I thought was a lot of fun.

That one was so much fun.

What do you think was the most fun to do?

Oh, man, so far, the most fun I’ve ever had on set was when we filmed “The Puppet Inside Me,” because we couldn’t stop laughing the whole time. We had to keep cutting because it was just so ridiculous. It was so hard to not laugh while we were filming it. It was so weird.

I thought they look like they’re so much fun. It looked like that was another one that I thought looked like it was a lot of fun to make.

Oh, yeah, definitely. We threw that one together really fast, but we had so much fun filming it. It was great.

I also read that you were, or are, a cosplayer. Was the porn parodies an extension of that?

I did a little bit of cosplaying, but it was more like, hey, look at my slutty outfit. I’m cute. And, less like, oh, I’m going to conventions and constructing a full outfit. I would do the laziest Mario slutty cosplay in the world and be like, oh, it’s me, Mario. It was like half assed cosplay, nothing close to what the professionals do. They put hours and hours and hundreds of dollars into their outfits. I’m like, oh, it’s a red shirt. I’m Mario. I wouldn’t call myself a cosplayer, because that’s disrespectful to actual cosplayers.

Are you always thinking of what ideas you could have with what’s popular in pop culture at the moment, like Venom or the other action and comic book movies?

Oh, always. Whenever I see a trailer for something or a preview for a game, I’m like, how can I put dicks in that? As soon as we saw that tongue in the trailer (for Venom), I was like, “Dude, we need to do something like that.” We have to have an oral scene. It has to happen.

Yeah, absolutely. It sets itself up for the parody.

Exactly.

I noticed that you have the same few actors that you work with. Is there anyone that you’re really dying to work with?

I’ve always had a thing for Asa Akira. I just think she’s gorgeous, and she does her job so well. She’s one of the top porn stars that you can tell genuinely enjoys her job. She always looks like she’s having a great time. She just seems so fun. I read all of her books, so I would love to meet her.

Is WoodRocket the team of you and LeRoy and April O’Neil, and that’s kind of the main collaborators?

Yeah. There’s also Seth’s Beard who you’ll see is in a lot of our films. He’s a big part of our production team and coming up with ideas with us. It’s mostly just the four of us coming together with a lot of help from our team, too.

That’s right. I read a blog post from him saying that, “Please stop sending us ideas.” Is that something that you guys are inundated with people contacting you with parody ideas?

Every single day, all the time, constantly on every form of social media. Hey, what about this? To which I respond, “Hey, we’ve already thought of that three times.” Whatever it is you’re pitching us, I guaran-fucking-tee we have thought about it before. There is nothing we have ever been pitched where we’re like, “Oh my god. A ‘Happy Days’ parody? We didn’t think of that.” Of course we did. Don’t pitch us. We know what we’re doing. You don’t write Marvel and say, “Oh, you know what comic you should make a movie of?” Because, they’re already thinking about doing it. Just leave them alone. Let us make our shit. Watch what we make. Leave us alone.

Yeah, exactly. I’m on Twitter a lot, and I see people accuse other people of stealing the most obvious jokes.

Exactly, and that’s part of it, too, because if you pitch us a “Flintstones” parody and we were already making one, then you’re going to hit us up a month later and be like, “Oh, well, am I going to get some money from this? Do I get credit for this?” No, you didn’t have anything to do with that. You think that you did, because you said it out loud on social media, but that’s not your fucking idea. Come on. It’s a parody.

And rule 34 exists for a reason.

Exactly.

That’s got to be rough with everyone saying, “Oh, yeah, well, Black Panther was the number one movie, right now, or was a few months ago. There should be a porn parody. Oh, now there is one. Hey, that was my idea.”

Exactly. Oh, well, I told them to do that. No, you didn’t. You and 70 other people wrote us and we were already doing it a month ago. Give me a break.

What’s your favorite part about making all the films?

Seeing everybody’s reaction to them when they come out, seeing all the different comments from people and their opinions on it. Some of them are shitty, but most of them are pretty cool.

I’ll just ask one last question, but is there anything else you want people to know about or to check out or to plug or anything before I let you go?

Yes, you should check out our new clips for sale store, Porn stars Eating for all of your food fetish and ASMR needs.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I didn’t realize that watching people eat was an actual fetish people had.

Oh, yeah, very much so, and we’re trying to hop on that train and ride it.

And, like you said, ASMR is another really big trend, so, yeah. I’ve actually found myself exploring that world. It’s great to see that you guys are doing that as well.

Yeah, a little bit of everything. You never know what’s going to be the best, so we like to put our hands in many stews.

Yeah, and it sounds like you guys are able to really adapt to things so quickly. It’s got to be really exciting to go and find something that’s popular, then kind of move into that territory and see it blossom so quickly.

Yeah, that’s the best part about having an internet based company, is that we’re just based on the internet. So, anything popular on the internet at that time, we can pump out real quick.