#4
By: The Alt Story
Tags: Rant, Emotions, Narrative, Journal, Altstory

Photo by wang binghua on Unsplash

Allergy pressure ni head lopala pressure anala head mida pressure anaala…face,cheeks mida pressure analaa, lopala nundi mucus pressure anukovala….

ivanni kaka real pressure asaludi mind lo untundata…danni stress antaranta…adi mind / brain mida pressure aa or lopala nundi bayatakoche pressure aa….

Dunno….

Dunno Ron nundi ochindi naku…like that word usage…like something of that character is remaining with me laga…. Now I think of it, it’s not my favorite most character…or someone I identify myself with…Aa lekkana I feel I am Harry — Neville extremes madhyalo ekkado anpistundi. Kani I settled with Ron. May be it’s my habit of taking up the roles of all side heroes of every story.

Allergy profile testing ekkada untundo kaasepu browse chestu time wasted…Asalu danivallo kado telidu…edo chaduvu rani vadu emaindi ante visual explaining la undi. Feverish feeling returned monna tarvata…Shoulders feel heavy…head and chest are already ahead on the race.

Hmm lower side of body dealing with hormones gadabida…upper emo mucuss aa…All muscle groups are on their own mechanism.

Tv aapeste hayiga undi….I so wanted to break something indakavaraku. Btw my punch has been improvedd. or nenu anukuni murisanoo…but I felt difference. Mana asamardhapu prelapanalu, kopalanni …enduku panikirani philosophies anni kickboxing lo chupinchochu anpinchindi. Chuddam !!

I came back to the thought / emotion…why can’t others see the potential of the things as I do? or Vice-versa?

Pause :

Allergy and all chain reaction triggers w.r.t the intensity of emotion. (No not caring to find scientific proof behind this.Just an emerged pattern.)

So emotion intensifies… pain intensifies …in turn it turns to body.

Emotion intensifies..because people involved matter so much to let go. (Hate to let go because we did with world that already!)

Most of the times it’s not what people say…it’s why they can’t feel / reach to the same high as you to perceive a particular thing. ( Obviously, not same people. Not same highs).

Still beyond all of this, there’s a desire to make them see the high you experienced / notice of it’s existence. It’s not seeking validation to feel better about yourself or disappointment of not journeying together to that high. We know how we feel there already, so we are not asking to confirm it…So there must be a difference.

Alt Story :

You can practically

silently agree with whatever argument they say and try to believe your high as temporary hobby.

Articulate why it feels more than that (while you are feeling tons of love because of the concern) and don’t burn bridges.

But it’s not easy to not burn bridges or not letting them to get wobbly when people are not in sync in highs.

Just accept the present. Surrender and accept. and figure out from here..being in present. Don’t give out promises of future which you don’t know how to keep up.

Being honest might save you from burning more bridges but articulation helps to keep the attachment intact.

While being honest, resolve to figure out articulation.

The hollowness of people not finding existence of your high might not be met by these two ways as well.

You can’t do anything about it.

Maybe one thing…whatever things you experienced alone, try to express the beauty of them to world..through art. Maybe it would reach out to some people on the other side of the earth or wherever.

Maybe Finland? That Igloo resort…

So it mattered…and the celebration of today’s high stopped. Doesn’t need to be. Articulated in someway. will learn articulating in another way…

For intensed emotions — Meditation …breathe in breathe out

For Allergy first aid — Vaporizer …inhale and vickyyyy vicks…

For Sleep — Harry potter

For you — Tomorrow!!

A Day of 45mins workout …some economics and dynamics !

One Shot for now!!

Signing off!!!