I Still Have Hope
By: Pam Srinivasan
Tags: Racism, Race Relations, Cultural Shift, Asian American, Equality

I had come in to work that airy spring day expecting to sit in my usual cubicle and begin work. Instead, I found my ergonomic chair pushed down to the ground and my office phone off the hook and tied up. (Years before the cell phone) My colleagues were not in yet, except one. Mary said, “hello Pam”. My two other colleagues entered as the morning pressed on. My boss Tom pierced his head in my cubicle and said hello. I was pondering who had done this. Tom stated it was an April 1st and appropriately it was an April Fool’s joke. I grinned, although inside I was incensed and hurt simultaneously. I grew up in the south in the 80’s where Colonels was our school mascot and our neighbors owned hunting rifles. I knew as one of the first Asian Indian families, it was going to take some adjustment on my family’s part. My father wanting to assimilate into the local Texan culture had purchased a new pickup truck. A few weeks earlier one of my other colleagues William commented to my boss, “Pam looks like she doesn’t understand when I gave her instructions. I was somewhat surprised as my boss mentioned this comment since I was contributing beyond my fair share and I was ahead of the team on my project. In addition, my boss had just given me a positive review the week prior. Could William have misread my facial expression as cultural miscues? He was threatened by my performance and was undermining my work. The “good old” white boy culture came into play.

I had endured many negative racial and ethnocentric comments over the years, growing up in the Texas and being a brown skinned Asian Indian girl. I can remember one specific comment, when I was introduced to the class as the person from India when I was 8 years old and one of the students balked “which tribe?” However, nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of bullying and the verbal abuse of working in a white male culture in a large organization where racism and sexism were still so prevalent. Afterall, I was an accomplished woman, with a master’s degree and was enrolled in a second masters while working full time. As I left work that evening, after the frustrating April Fools episode, I had shared with my family the experience that I had. They were supportive and listened assiduously. As the weeks continued, I was passed up for a promotion, due to my race and gender. Although, I was a stronger performer, I watched as the white male colleague Jim get the promotion I deserved. I turned in my resignation a few weeks later since at the time, I was getting engaged and just wanted to focus on my wedding planning and knew I would be relocating to Chicago soon.

Although, some of my Asian friends would discuss the dot buster’s incident in New Jersey, in gas stations where Indian Americans were shot and killed in the 90’s, these were viewed as the aberration, not the norm by many in our community. However, over the years we have witnessed many more instances of racial hatred, increases in crimes by far-right groups and negative racial stereotypes and hatred that has led to occurrences where the “white boys’ culture” that denigrates minorities and demeans women has taken on a subculture of its own. This culture seems to embody hate and resents women and minorities in various positions of power. This subculture which has become emboldened especially by the last US President feels threatened by other races, white women, LGBTQs and is emboldened by white supremacy.

America can only continue to address race relations and issues of inequality when we as a nation truly empathize and work consciously to promote equality and justice. Cultural shifts often take insurmountable work and effort. Subsequently, as more education and acceptance occur power dynamics can change over time. As a society we need to highlight shared values and continue to educate children especially in in the elementary school years that it is in fact ok to play with children that do not look like them.

White supremacy and white dominance continue to marginalize other races and the LGBTQ community. Although diversity programs have been implemented and continue to be executed, these programs sometimes have not had the intended consequences. Even though it has been over 50 years since MLKs I have a Dream speech and 70 years since Gandhi’s assassination, equal protection under the Constitution for black and brown communities has not been achieved. This can also begin by adding another amendment to the Constitution.

While it has been over 60 years since the British rule in India forced separate bathrooms for Indians than the British rulers, I had the audacity to think America had come a long way and injustice and inequality were indeed a thing of the past. Acceptance and true equality by the white majority continues to be a work in progress. In many instances, I have heard comments firsthand regarding how “lucky” I am to be here in the United States. I often wondered when Jewish immigrants first settled in the United States if similar comments must have been made. In their book Myth of the Model Minority Asian Americans Facing Racism, By Rosalind S. Chou, Joe R. Feagin, the authors make a sound argument as to how racism has impacted the Asian community adversely. The Conservatives have utilized the model minority concept to divide, Asian and African American community.

It is imperative we educate the majority on negative impacts of racial injustice and inequality. Some colleges now require students to enroll in ethnic studies coursework in order to broaden their mindset. In California, Governor Newsom has signed an ethnic studies course requirement in order to graduate. https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-08-17/gavin-newsom-ethnic-studies-cal-state-ab-1460) Ethnic studies coursework should also be mandated at the elementary and high school levels throughout America in order to educate and steer our country to a more perfect union. It is not only the duty of our education system but also all of us as citizens in our communities to highlight how “colonial conquest” and “white supremacy” has marginalized the non-white communities.

Cultural shifts that are occurring today can only empower minority communities if all Americans can truly question their belief systems and values from within. Democracy prevails only if one group sometimes is made a bit uncomfortable. I have optimism through education and legislation such as the one recently signed by President Biden https://www.npr.org/2021/05/20/998599775/biden-to-sign-the-covid-19-hate-crimes-bill-as-anti-asian-american-attacks-rise, that our children will not have to endure the bigotry and hatred that I and many brown and black families have endured in the past.