Why Your Children Are A Reflection Of You?
By: Divya Mahajan
Tags: Parenting Tips, Parents, Counseling, Parenting Advice, Parenting

“The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior, but the parent’s behavior.” — Andy Smithson

It is widely presumed that parents hold a direct and strong influence on their child. If the child turns out well, it is all because of the parent’s sacrifice and hard work; if he turns out bad, then also it is the parent’s fault and negligence. To a large extent, this statement is correct. Parents are major influencers, however not the sole influencing agents in their child’s life. Other factors like peer relations, environment, and culture also play a role in the child’s development.

The question worth pondering is whether the child is born with this attitude or is it the outcome of his upbringing? The fact is that a child on birth acquires certain traits from his parents which influence his mode of behavior. These traits when exposed to the world through experiences, complex societal standards, and the upbringing of the child, mold into different personalities.

It is quite obvious that parents’ involvement has always had a positive impact on the behavior of their children. However, one cannot just expect it to happen overnight. One cannot wave a magic wand and turn children into who they want them to be. Just like a flower needs care and tending to blossom, a child also needs attention and effort from his parents.

To instill good behavior in children, parents must reflect on their behavior. They must adopt a positive and constructive approach to guide their children’s behavior. In their formative years, children are developing their behavior, social and emotional skills. They observe how their parents behave and replicate the same behavior. Children learn from what their parents do much more than from what they say.

Children feel supported and motivated when they have their parents back. Engaging him will make him more comfortable and will enable the parents to understand him better. His behavior will be reflected in his academic performance also. Time and again the parents need to direct him and prevent him from going off track. This does not mean that the parents have to rebuke him harshly. Instead, they can make him understand the consequences of such behavior politely yet firmly. Whenever the child performs well, appreciating, and rewarding him will motivate and encourage him to perform better every next time. But, parents must not over shower them with gifts for an average performance as this will hinder their focus and interest.

Often engrossed in their work, parents fail to spend time with their children. They must have a separate family time in their routine where they can have discussions or play games. However, they must refrain from using digital devices and other personal works at that time. This will help them to maintain a warm relationship with their children.

Sometimes, parents can even share their childhood and school life experiences with their children. This will help them to learn from their parents’ personal experiences. Parents can inspire them with stories of their achievements and teach them lessons from their failures.

Parental involvement enhances a child’s behavior and attitude in all aspects. Children who have the support of their family, are confident and motivated. They have higher self-esteem and determination. Moreover, they develop better social skills and compassionate behavior.

To summarize, parents can see their true selves through their children. They raise their children as per their own perception of how things should be, because of which they deprive them of developing their own notions. Their inner creativity and desires are suppressed. Consequently, children adopt their parent’s behavior and personality.