How do we help ?
By: Lauren Pickwoad
Tags: Counselling, Metoo, Support, Abuse, Domestic Abuse

How do we help ?

Sometimes comfort is not enough we have to analyze and help identify the problem and its source

We all talk about the bad that occurs, but we do not talk about what could be done to stop the bad is hardly ever addressed. We read all theses articles to help educate us and use them to just talk about the significance of our culture and point out what is wrong with us. I found an article called “How You Can Help Someone in a Controlling Relationship” published by Everyday Health Guest Contributor and writer By Lisa Aronson Fontes, Ph.D, Special to Everyday Health.

Its hard to see people close to you get abused or be afraid to go out and be around the people they care about. The victim begins to draw away because of emotional black mail , they want their significant other to feel as is they are only theirs and that no one else matters more than them. This for of manipulation can turn into abuse and eventually obsession. We have to learn to speak to the victim without judgment and just offer comfort. Also make ourselves available to help them if they ever want a way out but we must remember to let them control the situation and not to take over. We want them to feel as if they a weigh in on their own relationship like their partner is not the only person who can pull strings.

Being a victim to control is hard to identify, so we must wait for the person to feel they can express themselves without criticism from others. We must not give advice that can increase the danger of our loved one. We should try to not bring up the police unless it is thier idea. We have to have bounderies In ever encounter on the subject of abuse. But we can encourage them to seek provisional support. It is not always easy for us to be supportive knowing our loved one is being harmed. So having them speak to somone outside of the relationship can be really helpful to thier well being. It is hard to understand the nature of abusive relationships but it is easy to see what keep them in existance. Focult says “ disciplinary space tends to be devided into as many sections as thier bodies or elemenys to be distributed” and thats how a controlling relationship last when there is a divide of power and someone controlling the function of another person. The victim is usally on a schedule that the abuser is comfortable with so they can monitor thier every mood.

In order for us to even beable to help this we should also eveluate our own relationships. Do we know what abusive contrilling relationships look like ? here are some signs of controlling behavior:

In the context of violence against people, controlling behaviour includes:

isolating a woman from her family and friends

going through a woman’s text messages, emails and social media

telling a woman what she can wear, where she can go and who she spends time with

controlling how much money a woman has

continuous criticism

threats to hurt or kill

threatening to publish private information

rape

emotional blackmail, for example “If you loved me, you would …”

ignoring or refusing to talk.

If we can not see these signs or recognize them we may never be able to give help or seek help. Abuse is a bad effect or for a bad purpose. That could be anything that threaten and upsets a person with indication from another person. So as people lets stop abusing eachother and pay attention to hat makes people happy instead of wanting to use their sadness and control each other.