Seize The Scheduled Drugs And Live Incoherently Ever After
By: Hogan Torah
Tags: Action, Drugs, Earthquake, Crime, Fiction

Seize The Scheduled Drugs And Live Incoherently Ever After

I can’t remember if this is fiction. Which one is which again?

Image courtesy Brittishstar at devientart.com

The first lurch woke them both up. Then some swaying. They were lying there not sure if they were high or a big truck was driving by.

BOOOOM!

Their bodies hurled from lying prone on their mattress into the air. The building and the earth beneath it shook straight up and down landing hard. It was the worst earthquake either had ever been in. The few possessions they owned and themselves caromed around the tiny gaff.

After what seemed like forever but in reality took less than a minute, the shaking subsided enough for them to attempt to stand up.

The emergency lights flipped on. Their wide eyes focused then locked on each other’s.

This is it.

Ltowns pulled up his shoes as Phil got the backpack that had been strategically packed left by the door every night for over 7 years. The door was stuck but a hard front kick by Phil opened it enough for the pair to slide out.

The water from the solar panels on the roof turned stairs into a waterfall but they needed to get to street level as quick as possible.

Other residents of the building cried out from behind their doors. They waded through the water trying to keep their footing. They flew down the 5 flights of stairs before anyone else had could crowd the stairwell.

They jammed out the entrance of their apartment building. It was just before dawn and residents of the surrounding buildings were piling out of them. There were hundreds of people in a daze or worse trying to get away from the buildings in case they toppled.

Except for two. Phil pressed play on the speaker as the boys broke into a wide gate jog up the sidewalk.

After Froggering past dazed evacuees, the boys hooked a right at the end of the street. They made a right into the alleyway after the 7–11. Their eyes locked onto the black steel door 100 feet ahead. The light in the window was off meaning the alarm should be too. Phil took a strap off and unzipped the bag. He handed a pry bar and a fabric grocery bag to Ltowns. Go time.

“You go high!” Phil said as he muscled his pry bar into the bottom of the steel door.

“Pull!” As they both pushed the pry bars towards the building. It moved!

Ltowns called out as he yanked, “Heave! Heave! Come on! Fuck this door! Come on bitch!’ Yeah! Little more! Hee-” With a satisfying crunch the door popped open.

“Fuck!” Said Phil as he flailed his hand around the empty backpack. “Toss me a light!”

Ltowns reached in and pulled out a flashlight he lobbed at Phil. He then grabbed the wire cutters and snipped the alarm incase the power to the building came back.

They had made it past the potential hazards and now came the fun part.

“I’ll take the drawer you get the shelves!” Ltowns screamed through a huge grin as the satisfaction of a plan decades in the making came to fruition.

Ltowns went to the locked drawer to the left of the counter. With his heart racing he somehow put his pry bar in between the drawer and the counter on the first try. He jammed it and with a hard yank with all his weight behind it he popped the front of the drawer off. He scooped every bottle from the C2 drawer into his bag.

Phil had a mini oogie orgasm shake. Then he cleared the shelves of all diazepines, muscle relaxers and stimulants.

Ltowns was working from the other side. And chose a reverse alphabet strategy as planned. Zopiclone, Zolpidem, Viagra, Triazolam, Temazepam! Hundreds of each! All theirs!

“Bruh! I’m the pharmacy now!” Ltowns hollered.

“I’m full after the Lorazepam!” Yelled Phil.

“Stop fucking with worthless drugs! Grab a jug of lean and let’s bounce! We’re out!”

The boys left the pharmacy using the same door they came in with their arms full of bags full of bottles full of narcotics. That was it. 7 years in making and less than 5 minutes after the earthquake started it was done.

No one’s sure what happened to them after the heist. Not even them. That was their last memory.

They could be dead.

It’s possible they’re still blacked out on their feet walking around mumbling to no one particular still to this very day.

They lived incoherently ever after.