“Timing, timing, timing…is everything.”
By: Leslie Appiah
Tags: Fertility, Cancer, Womens Health, Reproductive Health, Pregnancy

“Timing, timing, timing…is everything.”

What you need to know about intimacy and fertility.

You may have spent most of your adult life avoiding pregnancy either because you were pursuing your career goals or waiting to share that experience with your spouse/partner for religious or cultural reasons. Maybe you just finally found the “right one.” Now the time has come to start or expand your family. But it just isn’t happening. You exercise, take a prenatal vitamin every day, eat organic foods, and “kind of” drink alcohol. So, what is the problem?

It could be a lot of factors: are you at your optimal weight for ovulation, do you have any underlying medical problems that could affect your fertility, could your tubes be blocked, might you have endometriosis or uterine fibroids, or wait for it…could your partner have a problem neither of you is aware of? It could be any of those factors and speaking with your physician to rule out these conditions is job #1.

Job #2 is figuring out if you are actually attempting intercourse at the correct time of your cycle.

Let’s first define “cycle” (no, not your Peloton). The cycle does not refer to the 3–7 days of menstrual bleeding (the period) that women experience every month (I know, you always thought that’s what it meant). The cycle, on the contrary, refers to the time interval between the very first day of one menstrual bleed to the day before your next menstrual bleed. This typically is 28 days for the average woman.

During this time several things occur: bleeding (menstruation), growth of the eggs (follicular phase), the release of an egg (ovulation), and thickening of the lining of the uterus to prepare for implantation of the fertilized egg (luteal phase). With all of that going on, is it a wonder anyone knows the “right” time to conceive? Let’s talk about it, so you get it right.

The time that couples are most likely to conceive is within the first 3 months of attempting pregnancy; however, the good news is that 75–80% of couples will conceive in the first 6 months of trying and up to 85–90% of couples will conceive by 12 months. Thus, we define infertility as the inability to conceive after 12 months of consistently trying.

There is the million-dollar question: what does “consistently trying” mean? Let’s start with what it doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean having intercourse the week before menstruation. It doesn’t mean having intercourse once a week. And it, unfortunately, doesn’t mean having intercourse every now and again because your partner travels a lot or you are tired…

“Consistently trying” means having intercourse daily, every other day, or at the very LEAST, every 3 days around your fertile window. Why? Because sperm only survive up to 3 days and the egg only survives for 24 hours. So it is very, very important that the sperm is around long enough to reach the egg, elusive as she may be.

What is the fertile window? I’m glad you asked.

The fertile window is the 6-day interval leading up to and including ovulation. Let me explain further. If you have a 28-day cycle, ovulation occurs on day 14. The fertile window starts 6 days before, on day 9 of the cycle, and ends on day 14 with ovulation. If you have one shot at victory, pregnancy is most likely to occur when intercourse occurs within the 3-day interval ending on the day of ovulation. However, starting to have intercourse several days before the expected day of ovulation will increase your chance of conception, in case you ovulate early. Thus, for a woman with a 28-day cycle, having intercourse every day to every other day, beginning on day 9 of the cycle and continuing until day 14 is most likely to result in conception.

I know. Not every woman has a 28-day cycle. So how would that woman conceive?

The simple answer: have intercourse every day or every other day starting the day after the menstrual bleed ends and continuing for a total of about 10 days. This way, you are likely to conceive even if you ovulate earlier or later than expected.

The complex answer: we will discuss that in Episode #2 — “When your menstrual cycle is undependable.” See you next week and godspeed!

With warmth and affection,

-Leslie C. Appiah/CEO, Être, LLC

https://www.the-etre.org/blog

All opinions are my own. This blog is general women’s health information and is not medical advice. Consult your physician for care specific to you.