A Basic Principle: Don’t Be a Hypocrite
By: Chelle Licci
Tags: Life Lessons, Opinion, Self Improvement, Behavior Change, Self-awareness

Questionably Helpful Self-Help

A Basic Principle: Don’t Be a Hypocrite

If you can’t practice what you preach, the next best thing you can do is hush your mouth unless you want to start choking on the foot that’s in it. Chelle Licci Follow Dec 26, 2020 · 5 min read

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“Do as I say, not as I do.”

That phrase, in my book, is one of the most obnoxious in existence — right underneath “Because I said so.”

There are two particular behaviors that are pet peeves of mine. One of them involves giving orders for no logical reason other than for the sake of exercising privileges of authority. The other is what I’ll be focusing on today: hypocrisy.

When it comes down to it, what fundamentally irks me about hypocrisy is that it unfairly burdens the recipient with unrealistic expectations to fulfill. Instead of holding the speaker accountable for the disconnect between their own words and actions, it shifts responsibility over to the listeners instead.

In essence, hypocrisy is a method by which a person attempts to avoid consequences for their own inconsistencies by framing the narrative onto others. Of course, this is only effective until the hypocrisy is brought to light — upon which the hypocrite tends to be viewed as either deceptive, incompetent, or both.

However, like most things, there are different scopes of hypocrisy that exist across different situations.

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Exhibit A: The Altruistic Hypocrite

The behavior demonstrated by the altruistic hypocrite is fairly mild, and is one of the most common anyone can encounter. Sometimes, the hypocrisy exhibited by these types are so subtle — it can often go unnoticed. The altruist’s hypocrisy is typically non-malicious. You can often find this type among close friends, workers in occupations dedicated to helping others, and general do-gooders. The intent of what they express is generally good-natured in that they genuinely want to help others in some way — whether it be physically or emotionally.

But you know what they say: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” And this perfectly describes the shortcomings of the altruistic hypocrite. By failing to conform to the advice they’re so adept at providing others, it can be difficult to take them seriously. After all, it can be challenging to believe in the well-meaning guidance someone may have if they don’t apply it to their own lives.

If you find yourself identifying with this type — do not despair. I’m not here to shame you or roast you. But there’s a key takeaway that I do want to emphasize: if you can help it, don’t be a hypocrite. At least try to adhere to the advice you give others. Otherwise, it diminishes the quality of your words and makes it hard for others to take you seriously.

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Exhibit B: The Economic Hypocrite

This type of hypocrite exhibits behavior that’s more moderate in severity. That is, the nature of the hypocrisy is more deceptive for the purpose of some sort of personal gain — whether it be financially or socially.

The economic hypocrite is commonly found amongst authors of self-help books, self-help bloggers, internet influencers, well-to-do politicians, multi-level marketers, and even figures in religious organizations. The beliefs and principles expressed by this subgroup are inherently not bad per se, but those who demonstrate this type of hypocrisy are often in a position where they can profit from others who follow their advice.

While there are some economic hypocrites who seem to share qualities of the altruistic hypocrite — the difference between the two depends on the presence of personal gain. The altruistic hypocrite does not seek compensation or profit from others who heed their words. The economic hypocrite either actively seeks profit or is in an influential position where their ability to sway others with their words can rake in profits.

But, you know what they say: “What goes up must surely come down.” which is also another way of saying “Karma’s a bitch.” The economic hypocrite may be able to quickly build a sustainable career by profiting off of the naivete of vulnerable individuals seeking help with navigating their lives. But, that same career is also capable of rapidly crashing in a downward spiral once their hypocrisy is found out. People generally don’t like to feel used or deceived — so if you decide to do both by being an economic hypocrite, don’t be surprised by the backlash.

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Exhibit C: The Narcissistic Hypocrite

This subtype exhibits what could be described as the most severe form of hypocrisy: absolutely shameless. The narcissistic hypocrite may be incompetent at following their own rules. Or they may be blatantly trying to impose unrealistic standards onto others because they have an over-inflated ego and/or a superiority complex.

In general, the narcissistic hypocrite gives zero fucks about the effect they have on others. So long as they can obtain what they personally want, the ends justify the means. I would also like to reiterate that narcissistic hypocrites may be manipulative and/or malicious — but this does not always equate to a demonstration of intelligence. There exist individuals of this subtype who are generally tone-deaf when it comes to social cues, and may even be oblivious to the absurdity of their own hypocrisy.

Thankfully, the narcissistic hypocrite is not a common encounter. However, should one cross your path, it’s best to maintain caution so as to not unnecessarily attract their attention. Otherwise, you’re in for a headache of an encounter that’s sure to be memorable for all the wrong reasons. And yes, you would be correct to assume that the Karen archetypes are the epitome of narcissistic hypocrisy.

Closing Thoughts

I’m sure I could go on elaborating on my observations regarding hypocrisy, but I’d like to at least make sure the key takeaways are stated.

If you give advice you can’t follow, don’t be surprised if either you as a person or the merit of your words aren’t taken seriously.

If your words are inherently valuable, but you can’t conform to it — at least own up to it. While success is not 100% guaranteed, being transparent tends to be viewed more favorably than trying to hide your actions.

The more mindful you are about hypocrisy, the easier it is to avoid being a hypocrite.

[Disclosure: The contents of this article are opinion-based from the author’s perspective inspired by observation and experience. This is not intended to be a reliable resource on the social phenomenon that is hypocrisy. If anything, please regard the ideas conveyed in this piece with a grain of salt.]