Drump Claims bin Laden Victory
By: Phillip T Stephens
Tags: Humor, Hillary Clinton, Terrorism, Donald Trump, Obama

Drump Claims bin Laden Victory

Drumpf told America on “Fox News Sunday” that former President Obama, Hillary Clinton and Admiral William McRaven “totally screwed the pooch” when they took out terrorist Osama bin Laden. “It was like handing the keys to my Rolls to a five year old. They wrecked the operation.”

He then added “and by the way, a Rolls is a good family car. Great for raising kids. With our new tax breaks, any family can own one for a small down payment. My family was poor, poorer than most, but my father managed to buy one for every member of the family. That’s the definition of a family car.”

Host Chris Wallace had mentioned that McRaven criticized Drumpf’s handling of the press, which led to the outburst. “That guy’s an Obama lover. Worse, a Clinton lover. He writes her pinning little love notes every night, ‘Please Hill, leave Bill. I’m the better man.’ That was the worst military operation in the history of military operations, and I would know because I’ve led so many myself.”

”(McRaven) is an Obama lover. Worse, a Clinton lover. He writes her pinning little love notes every night, ‘Please Hill, leave Bill. I’m the better man.’ That was the worst military operation in the history of military operations, and I would know because I’ve led so many myself.”

With his next breath he told Wallace, ”I’d’ve done it faster and done it myself. Obama bin Ladin would’ve been dead before I finished the oath of office.”

Wallace asked if Drumpf didn’t mean Osama bin Laden.

“That’s what I said, and what did it take them to kill Obama? Twelve years? Sixteen? I think it was sixteen. And Al Qaeda wasn’t a threat anymore. ISIS kicked their asses. Did Obama bin Laden focus on ISIS? Hell, no. Because Obama created ISIS, and he still emails their marching orders.”

At this point Wallace left for coffee, since Drumpf no longer waited for questions.

“Listen. Obama’s location was no secret. Everyone knew where he was. He lived in a mansion with a sign posted outside that said, ‘Obama lives here.’ He gave tours. How do you think he paid his bills? And he stood in the street every day handing coins to little Pakistani kids if they would strap on bombs and kill Americans. Damn straight I’d’ve taken him out on my first day. I would’ve parachuted in personally to make sure the job was done. Come back with his head to hang outside the White House for everyone to see.

“I would’ve parachuted in personally to make sure the job was done. Come back with his head to hang outside the White House for everyone to see.”

“And I wouldn’t have let the Fake News lie about it and claim Hillary Clinton was involved like they did the first time. She wasn’t even in the room when they took him down. She was in a hotel enabling her husband to assault a college girl and blame it on Justice Kavanaugh, who won, by the way. Sent that lying woman home to California to cry in her medical marijuana.”

FOX shut off the feed at the end of the hour, even though Drumpf was still talking. “He may be the President,” Wallace said later, “but we answer to our advertisers. Drumpf hasn’t given us a dime for the coverage we provided.”

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