Suicidal Thoughts — II. It’s the Second Part of the Story…
By: Zainab'S Dream
Tags: Faith, Love Yourself, Suicide, Faith and Life, Love

It’s the Second Part of the Story. Before reading this part, Read Suicidal Thought — I.

(Conversation between Laila and Abdul)

Laila: How are you, Abdul?

Abdul: I am fine my wife…

Laila: You don’t look fine dear… You look very worried and lost for the last 4,5 days.

Abdul: Passed a little smile and said nothing…

Laila: Darling you can’t make me fool… I know we are going through a lot of troubles but believe me, whatever you are providing us is enough. Don’t lose hope, my dear… It will pass soon … We both will work together for ourselves and our children.

Abdul: Thanks for understanding but…

Laila: But what?

Abdul: This isn’t enough for us. I am just a cobbler, I don’t earn much for us … How will I manage my children’s future? How will I provide them a better life? I don’t want my children to be like I am now… What if they hate their father in the future? I am sorry Laila but I don’t want to live anymore.

Laila got shocked after hearing this from his Husband. She got sad, her eyes were full of tears. She looked at her husband and said, “Abdul?” but Abdul didn’t respond…He was lost in his own thoughts… He was feeling so miserable for not doing anything for his small family.

Abdul? Laila called him again … Abdul looked at her and started crying …

Laila tried to console him but he couldn’t understand, No words were enough for him so he stood up and smashed his head in the wall…

No, Abdul no, don’t do this, this is not the way, “You are harming yourself”, said Laila while trying to stop him…

The neighbors rushed to their house after hearing noises. They stopped Abdul from injuring himself and called the ambulance because Abdul was injured a lot.

Shazia and Zahid asked Laila about the whole situation. Laila told them about their miseries… Shazia and Zahid were neighbors, they were like family to them and they were unaware of Abdul’s thoughts. “Don’t worry Laila” said Shazia in the hospital. “Everything will be fine soon”. We will talk to Abdul…

Laila thanked them and then they all moved home together after Abdul’s discharge.

“I want to take rest Laila”, said Abdul after reaching home. Laila prepared the bed for him and helped him lay in bed peacefully… “She kissed his head” and said “I love you”, You are not alone my love, I’m with you. Abdul smiled and replied “I love you too” and slept.

(Life before marriage)

Abdul was from a middle-class family… He was the elder among his siblings and was a happy-go-lucky boy. At school, he was an average student but he had many dreams that he wanted to fulfill… But who knows what God wills for him… His father died when he was in 7th standard who was the only one to provide for his family…

“Sometimes, life turns its way so strangely that you can’t reach your destination”. Unfortunately, after the death of his father, he had to earn for his family so he left his school and started working at different places such as shops, garages, and hotels, etc. so that he could earn for his family. He suffered a lot in his early life which taught him to survive in his worst situations. A happy-go-lucky boy turned into a mature boy

On the other hand, Laila was from a poor family. She was a sensible and mature girl. She completed her Matric from Govt Girls School and she was very good at studies. She was a skillful girl and was good at sewing, stitching, and cooking.

Laiba and Abdul fell in love with each other in their first encounter. It was the Love at First Sight and they decided to marry. Abdul was 20 years old and Laila was 19 years old… As the condition of their families was normal, they got married in a simple way. After a year, Laila gave birth to a baby girl and after 2 years, Aftaab was born.

“Everything goes well when life favors you But when the tides turn, everything changes”.

You can go from the top to bottom and sometimes bottom to top … In their case, life took a bad turn…Difficulties were at their peak… Laila couldn’t get the time to give helping hands to his husband because she was busy taking take of her children… On the other hand, Abdul had lost all the hopes of living better life…

“In a world, where everything is temporary, whether it’s joy or happiness, ups or downs, rise or fall, only the courageous people manage to live this temporary life with gratitude while others lose hope in such circumstances’’

(On the Same night)…

Laila lay next to Abdul. She looked at his face with love and caressed him gently. Abdul’s face depicted the misery, sadness, and frustration that life has bought to him. Laila was a strong woman but she couldn’t control her tears when she saw her husband’s miserable condition. She couldn’t sleep that night. The next day Abdul woke up and called Laila.

She came running, “Yes, Abdul what happened? Is everything alright? Do you need anything?” He was looking at her with amazement. “Come and sit here,” said Abdul.

Laila went and hugged him. She was very scared. “What happened my love?” he asked. Laila started weeping and said, “Thank God you are fine. I can’t live without you. Please don’t think about suicide ever again. We will work this out and fight together, please don’t do this again, please.”

Abdul realized that he committed a big mistake by harming himself and hurting the emotions of his family. How could I be so mean? Why didn’t I think of my family? Who would take care of them If I were dead? So many questions were arising in his mind but he tried to stop thinking about them. He then consoled Laila and said, “Don’t worry my love, I won’t do this again, I will never leave you and my kids alone. We both will face this situation together, don’t worry. Thank you for being here with me even in these hard circumstances. I love you, my wife.” Laila smiled and felt relaxed and at peace.

“Now, take some rest, you are tired,” said Abdul.

“But, I have to make breakfast,” argued Laila.

“Don’t worry about it. I am not much injured. I am fine; I will make it by myself and you also don’t worry about kids. I will take care of them. You need some rest. Now go,” said Abdul.

“Are you sure?” asked Laila.

“Yes I’m sure”, said Abdul.

Then she said OK and went to take some rest.

It was 3 in the noon, Laila woke up, found her children and husband near her. They were waiting for her to get up so that they could have lunch together.

“How are you feeling now mom?” asked the children together. “I am much better now,” she replied, smiling. Her children hugged her with love and asked her to come quickly because they were famished.

The stress was still roaming in his head. He was thinking about his family. Suddenly, he heard an unusual voice calling his name, a sound familiar to him. It was approaching from behind. Finally, the sound stopped. He was scared, perspired, and had shallow breaths.

When he turned to see what it was, his eyes bugged out with fear. It was the same old lady. “What are you doing here?” asked Abdul.

The old lady didn’t answer. “I asked what are you doing here?” he shouted. The old lady passed a strange smile and gave money to him and disappeared, again. He dashed towards his home. Running, Running, and running but it was again the never-ending way. A flash of a car came in front of him and he woke up.

Breathing fast with fear, he woke up. “What happened Abdul? Did you see the same nightmare again?” Laila panicked.

“That old lady came again. She always hands me money and disappears. I don’t know what she wants,” Abdul struggled to catch a breath. “Are you still going through stress and anxiety Abdul? Such circumstances cause such dreams and make you hear strange noises,” she tried to coax him. “If this is the result of my stress and anxiety, then I am fed up with this. I can’t bear it anymore,” Abdul sighed.

We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Take these sleeping pills,” said Laila as she handed him the pills and a glass of water.

“When a person is facing stress, anxiety or depression there is a chance he/she hears or see and unusual things during sleep”

The next day, they had nothing to eat. So, Abdul decided to go to work. He was a bit tensed about whether he could manage something for today. Laila told her children to go and show some love to their father. They went, hugged him, and said, “Papa don’t worry, we trust you, you will surely manage something for us, You are our superhero.” Abdul got emotional.

“Ok children, now I have to go,” said Abdul.

“Ok papa, we will wait for you,” they replied.

Laila decided to make a list of what she can do to help her husband. She started from the simplest option of selling boiled eggs. The second option was to start stitching clothes, the third was to work at homes and the last option was to start teaching. The second and last option seemed perfect to her. She could manage home and work at the same time. Laila decided to go to nearby schools. She asked Shazia if she could look after her children for a few hours. Shazia agreed and encouraged her to find a job. Laila went to 3,4 schools for an interview. The interview went well, she came home and waited for his husband’s return.

Abdul was happy that he managed something for dinner. He came home and caressed his children. All were happy.

After spending one month in patience, happiness knocked on their door. Laila has received a call from a school. She thanked her Lord and joined the school the next day, but it wasn’t enough. Abdul and Laila made a proper what-to-do list for running their home and providing better education to their kids. Laila was teaching kids while Abdul on the other hand, started to sell burgers. He used a cart to sell burgers. One year later, Laila managed time to help her husband. Now they started selling Biryani also. People liked their burgers and biryani. Slowly, their living conditions were improving. A few years later, they opened a shop for their small business.

“When you fight hard circumstances with faith and patience, God rewards you for it”.

Situations were better than ever, their children were getting a proper and better education. Afaaq wanted to be a writer and Zakiya, a coding master in the future. That nightmare also stopped bothering Abdul. Both husband and wife were occupied with work and were pleased to see their family happy.

“Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart