The Best Way to Improve Your Self Worth
By: Michelle Marie Warner
Tags: Relationships, Life, Self Improvement, Self-awareness, Communication

The Best Way to Improve Your Self Worth

Start by changing your language

Photo by Free-Photos on Pixabay

Our sense of worthiness affects our relationships with everyone.

When we value ourselves, we have healthy interactions with others. We value what they offer the world. We’re in balance with ourselves and the people we meet.

Self-worth is a sense of one’s own value as a human being~Webster’s Dictionary

Do you believe your worthy of goodness in your life? Do you value your needs and desires? Maybe you think you do, but your words and everyday actions don’t always match. You put others’ needs before yours and resent them. You apologize or make excuses when you deserve to be here.

If you’re acting like you don’t deserve to be heard or get what you need, or if you get defensive when setting boundaries, you might have a problem with low self-worth.

Here are a few ways to improve your self-worth:

Use empowered language

Eliminate phrases like “just trying to…” Stop apologizing when you haven’t caused harm. It places you in a victim/martyr role, thereby diminishing your power.

We send the message we’re unsure of ourselves when we kneecap our sentences with “just” or “I feel like…” We communicate our unworthiness and inability to stand up for ourselves. We’re saying our boundaries or desires aren’t important enough. You don’t have to defend yourself if you’re clear in the first place.

Instead, confidently say what you mean. When we use empowering language, we send a message we have clear boundaries. Others understand what we want and need.

Break your codependent patterns by taking new, empowered action

When you’re codependent, you think you need outside validation to feel worthy of love. You believe another person will complete you. Because you think you need others in order to feel good about yourself, you’ll manipulate them to get what you think you need. Your language and actions will reflect your dependence on them.

To transcend codependency, you need to let go of another person’s feelings or responses. You have a right to state your needs, no matter how others feel. When you stop behaving in codependent ways, what other people think won’t be your business. You won’t rely on them to feel good about yourself.

I’m changing a language pattern with my children. I’ve made them responsible for my choices. There are things I do for them when they can do some of it themselves. It’s time I step up and own responsibility.

Give directions or make requests. If they refuse, own your feelings or stop doing it and let them meet their needs themselves. If you let people walk over you, guess who’s getting bruised?

Stop going to the hardware store for bread

When you don’t feel worthy of the full scope of what love has to offer, you’ll accept breadcrumbs. You want the whole loaf, but you’re not looking in the right places. If you go searching for bread at a hardware store, you won’t find it. You might find a little snack at the register, but is that what you want?

Stop scrambling for whatever you can get. You deserve a partner who gives you what you seek and not only sometimes. If they’re not willing to offer you what you want in a relationship, they aren’t the person for you.

Don’t half-ass your desires because you believe it’s all you can have. It’s not true. You can and will have a balanced intimate partnership with a person who offers warm, freshly-baked goodness expressly for you. Bonus if they know how to bake an actual loaf of bread.

Don’t expect your loved ones to provide everything you need, either. Your partner, your family, your friends can’t give you everything. There are some things you do for yourself. Self-affirming acts will help you do that.

Practice self-affirming acts

Affirm your worthiness by taking actions that serve your best interest. Practice self-care with good sleep hygiene, nourishing your body with healthy foods and exercising regularly. Nurture your spirit by practicing meditation and mindful activities.

Listen to what you need, and honor it. If you’re not getting what you need in a relationship, ask for it. If you don’t want to do something, say no. Have you heard, “No” is a complete sentence? You don’t own anyone an explanation.

Affirm your worthiness to hold space on the planet. You deserve to have this space.

Write and speak affirmations affirming your worth

Those of us with low self-worth need an extra boost to remind us we deserve the good things life has to offer. Affirmations help shift our beliefs. They open up a world of opportunities.

Words have power. When you affirm in writing and speak out loud, you’re giving your words more power. Speak in the present-tense and look in the mirror.

Here are a few examples of affirmations to increase self-worth:

I’m worthy of love and affection. I deserve to fulfill my desires.

My boundaries are important. I’m worthy of respect.

All of my needs are met. I’m an empowered being, and I assert my needs with confidence.

I use empowered language. I mean what I say and I say what I mean, without saying it mean.

I set clear, reasonable boundaries. I’m responsible for my choices.

I appreciate myself. My life has purpose and meaning, for me and everyone on the planet.

Final thoughts

We have the choice to take back our power. We can feel good about ourselves again. If you’re willing to take a few simple steps, you’ll improve your self-worth.

Exchange victim speech for empowered language. Break the cycle of codependency. Stop expecting others to give you what they don’t have to offer. Take actions to affirm your self-worth, practicing regular self-care. Use daily affirmations to strengthen your capacity for self-love.

You deserve to be here on the planet, shining your magnificent self. Step into your power again and watch your life get better.