Anger as My Teacher
By: Lee Byrd
Tags: Empowerment, Meditation, Presence, Journaling, Self-awareness

Meeting what is here now

I have a propensity towards anger. My mother had a temper that matched her fiery red hair. My dad, who was stubbornly opinionated, was always quick to flare. Some would say then that this tendency toward anger is simply an inherited trait. At one time I believed that as well, and felt I was anger’s helpless victim.

The repercussions of my anger have been destructive, painful, and costly. Everytime I would have an episode, like many, I’d swear I’d never do that again. These tantrums would leave me feeling overwhelmed with fear and sadness. I often felt that there was truly something wrong with me. My heart hurt, my soul cried. I wanted to escape or at the very least, to numb out. And like many, I turned to unhealthy ways of coping such as too much television, alcohol, food, and when younger, drugs.

Still, even with all these ill side-effects, again and again, I’d find myself caught in this endless cycle of self-abuse. I felt powerless, frustrated, and hopeless. The more I tried not to be angry, the angrier I got!

Then I found some simple yet powerful tools that helped me turn it all around.

Anger is Natural

The first thing that I learned is that anger is natural, that it is a normal part of life. Me trying not to be angry was like jumping into a river and trying to stop the flow. And the result was me drowning!

Generally speaking, if a human being never shows anger, then I think something’s wrong. He’s not right in the brain. ~Dalai Lama

Anger is still here at times, sometimes more than I like. What I have realized is that I actually have a choice, in any given moment, to attach to my anger. Or not. If I take my time to meet what is here and to identify what is really going on, I step into a place of personal power. Showing the anger is not the problem — it is in how I show my anger.

Recently, a young woman who works with me (I’m her manager), made a big mistake, one that I have corrected her on countless times. When I discovered this I was enraged! Initially I took a few minutes to process my feelings and as I did so, the dark clouds of rage parted, the sun began to shine and clarity came once more. I felt the deep abiding sense of trust that naturally arises within Presence. From here I was able to explain to her how I felt, explaining just how frustrated I was. I did this without humiliating her (or myself). Although my energy was intense and focused, there was no need for harsh words or action.

Did this resolve the issue? No, not really. But I got my message across and I left the conversation feeling good about myself, I knew I had spoken from my heart and that was all I could do at that time.

I keep discovering that it is possible to be angry without being mean or cruel or abusive to myself or to others.

Awareness, Allowing, and Coming to Rest

So how did I overturn this destructive pattern? First I learned to become aware of the sensations in my body at all waking times, without judgment or the need to make them different. I simply observe, notice and allow what is here. Now I am better able to know when I am in reactivity.

By using the tools of Self-Inquiry* I am guided to knowing what is really going on, allowing me to come to rest with what is here, in Presence.

Rather than spinning out in reactivity, here are a few tools I use to create the life I really want:

Meditation — Taking quiet time, communing with God or Divine Mother Or Universe, twice a day (or more when stress arises).

— Taking quiet time, communing with God or Divine Mother Or Universe, twice a day (or more when stress arises). Body Awareness — Practicing a guided meditation exercise.

— Practicing a guided meditation exercise. Gratitude Exercise — Taking stock of what I have that I am grateful for.

— Taking stock of what I have that I am grateful for. Self Inquiry Journaling — Asking the question, ‘what is really going on, and can I be here with this, whatever it is?’

This practice has changed my life, taught me how to be a better person, and empowered me to handle life’s problems in a way that reflects my core beliefs of Love, Tenderness and Acceptance.

Lee Byrd

Mystic, Teacher, Wisdom Keeper

LoveMyMysticLife.com

Lee@LoveMyMysticLife.com

Join us at Juicy Life School, an online platform offering spiritually oriented personalized workshops, such as

Ignite Your Fire: A Personal Workshop

Providing the tools, personal support and self-empowerment practices to enable you to create a life free from suffering.

Register Now

https://juicylifeschool.com/

Scholarships Available

*Self-Inquiry, a process based on the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi, is gentle and life-altering. With guidance, we are invited inward to look at what is really going on.