Drawing Out (1/1)
By: Anda Su
Tags: Christianity

Have you ever felt completely naked, vulnerable, and beat-up?

Metaphorically of course.

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If you know me pretty well,

I’m sure some of the words you’d use to describe me include

Calm

Patient

Level-headed

Light-hearted

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Yet as I think back to my study term this past summer,

For a moment in time,

I was definitely not that person.

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I was working away at some practice questions

I knew that on top of those questions for that one course,

I had plenty of other things to do that day

Before I’d fall too far behind.

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As I went through the questions,

I thought,

“This is going to be pretty easy! I hope I can get this done within 2 hours to move on.”

.

First question, not my finest,

Had to refer to the solution for some help,

“Oh, that was some small oversight, I’ll do better on the next one.”

.

Fifth question, getting a bit irritated,

“How the heck did they do that?? Okay never mind, let’s try again with the next one.”

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A couple of hours pass, tenth question,

“How in the world am I NOT getting these??? How can I move on to my other courses and prepare for those if I’m not doing well in this course????”

For some reason,

I could not, for the life of me,

Answer those questions without heavy assistance.

.

And, feeling overwhelmed in that moment, I erupted.

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Some very choice words were said,

The desk I worked at should have essentially split in half,

A couple more questions, and I’m sure my forehead would have had a palm-sized indentation.

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I was on an absolute rampage,

Steamrolling through the remaining practice questions,

“THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!! HOW ARE THEY ABLE TO DO IT THAT WAY??”

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And then the dreaded calling,

“Anda! Dinner time!”

That totally didn’t help with the mood.

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As I slowly and reluctantly stuffed food into my mouth,

My parents comment,

“What’s wrong with you? Just focus on eating!”, says my mom,

“Don’t bother him, he’s still focused on the work, isn’t that right? He’s just like me when I do work!”, my dad responds.

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As I finished my meal, my dad mentions,

“It’s nice outside, why don’t we enjoy some fruit on the backyard deck?”

“No. I still have my work to do.”, I responded immediately, with a hint of urgency and anger.

“I can help you with your questions. Bring it outside, relax, and we can work through your practice problems.”

He saw right through me.

.

Being physically drawn out into the backyard,

I could feel the anger leaving me as we worked through my questions.

“See! Your dad is still decent at this stuff, isn’t he?”

I laughed a bit, “Yeah, not bad.”

“So do you still have more questions? Bring out another!”

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And so the tone shifted,

No longer was it about how ridiculous the practice question seemed to me,

No longer was it about me cursing at myself and at the subject,

No longer was it about me slamming my fist into the desk and facepalming 20 times,

Rather,

I was given a new direction.

Upon being drawn out,

I was reassured that my father knew, and that “he’s got this”,

And was pushed outward,

To just simply focus on solving the question.

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To then consider how much more our Heavenly Father would do for us!

That in our time of desperation, weakness, anger,

We are seen for who we are.

Not once are we kicked in the stomach while already on the ground,

Rather, in our helplessness, vulnerability, and nakedness,

We are drawn out,

Healed,

Restored,

Given a new direction,

And sent outward.

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God is so good.