Three Little Words
By: Leah Hunt
Tags: Leadership, Personal Branding, Personal Development, Business Development, Growth

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

I’ve been spending a lot of time recently working on and talking about Personal Brand. It is something I have written about before. For those that have heard me speak on the topic, you know I have a real love-hate thing happening in that space.

And this idea — of personal brand — is not going away.

Ever.

I’ve seen various iterations of it over the course of my relatively short and uneventful career. Hell — I’ve participated in it in loads of ways from personality assessments to team feedback tools to séances and Ouija boards.

I’ve used the KOLBE index and Myers-Brigg tools. Completed the DISC and Strength Finder assessments. I’ve read Multipliers and Good to Great and dozens — maybe even hundreds — of other leadership and personal/professional development books.

I have taken courses, gotten certifications and attended residential workshops.

And every one of them — each book, course, personality assessment and feedback tool — has taught me something.

But none of them really explained what this Personal Brand idea is.

Not one.

And for something that we talk a hella-lot about, it strikes me as odd that we haven’t cracked the code and developed a definition. That there isn’t a formula or an unequivocal source of truth on this much-discussed topic.

Or at least not a consistent one.

Over the same period, I have watched the “done thing” go from a one-page resume with no colour to a snappy PR-type slide show with your photo, community interests and hobbies.

I have developed, practiced and even pitched my 10-second-elevator-pitch.

I have done and re-done the me-in-six-words over and over and over again.

Never getting it quite right.

So I’ve thought on it. A lot. As I do.

And here is what I have figured out…

While I have learned a lot from the books and the courses and the exercises around brand and self-awareness, I would not be the leader I am today — and I think I’m a pretty good one and so does my mum and a bunch of other people — without one common thing.

It all comes down to three little words.

Not always the same, but always three.

Each of these three-word-statements have been spoken aloud to me by various leaders over my lifetime. Each one — in three words — taught me more than any single book or course or certification.

Here is the list so far:

I’m not sure. Thank you to the leader who first said this to me and showed me that you didn’t have to know it all to lead. That acknowledging and owning the reality — and it is everyone’s reality — that we simply cannot know all the things.

You gave me permission to stop applying for the job I already had. You taught me I didn’t need to prove that I was the smartest person in the room.

In fact, you showed me how much that actually held me back as a leader.

I don’t care. Thank you to the leader showed me what it is like to be on a team where the leader does not care. Whether it was about me or the initiative or the team or the corporate direction.

You taught me — whether you meant to or not — to be cognizant of my own perspective. From you I learned how to monitor and watch for the warning sides of ambivalence and disengagement.

Thanks to you, I know how to avoid it.

Tell me more. Thank you to the leader who showed me that curiosity and a genuine interest in people and problems and situations is foundational to success. In business, in life and in relationships.

You taught me that listening is the better half of communication. Because of you, I learned that when I work alone, my growth is logarithmic and when I work with others, my growth is exponential.

I’ll show you. Thank you to the leader who leaned in, rolled-up their sleeves and invested the time to teach me. Who showed me how to do it, didn’t give up on me when I failed or fumbled and then let me have a go on my own when before I felt confident but when you knew I was ready.

You were my first real coach. You showed me that real leaders are actually first among equals on every team they lead. You imprinted on me the power of persistence and deliberate practice and I am better everyday for that lesson.

You can’t speak. Thank you to the leader who told me to be seen and not heard. You let me feel what it is to be muzzled. To be asked to dim your light. To feel cast out. To be outside the circle.

You taught me that Inclusion & Diversity are more than words on a corporate poster. You helped me see Inclusion & Diversity as more than just values that yield real and tangible benefit in a multitude of ways.

You helped me learn that they are my values.

Thank you for bringing me a few steps closer to finding my purpose. You helped me amplify my values and use my voice well and with clarity of purpose. I am grateful.

I am sorry. Thank you to the leader who gave me my first genuine, unequivocal, acceptance of all harm caused, honest to goodness, not a ‘but’ in site apology. You showed me your vulnerability and started me on a path towards the kind of self-discovery that has literally changed who I am and how I operate.

You showed me yours and gave me permission to show everybody mine.

Do not message HR and get your minds out of the gutter. This is supposed to be inspirational…

I need help. Thank you to the leader who in uttering those three words showed me that no one ever stops learning or growing or needing others. This classic ‘no-person-is-an-island’ concept was probably something I should have figured out by then. But I hadn’t.

You and the I am sorry leader would have loved each other. I am only sad you never got to meet. Besides the direct lesson, you also taught me to never miss or wait on an opportunity to connect powerful and important leaders with other powerful leaders.

I’ll do better on this going forward.

Every single one of these leaders, in speaking some combination of three-words, helped make me who I am today.

While some people might say that the three sweetest words are I love you — or if you are being a sarcastic smart ass like me, you might suggest they are You are right — we are all wrong.

While the words might be different, we are all right about one thing.

The number.

Always three.

Three little words.