How To Break the “I Should Have Done” Cycle of Regrets?
By: Chiao Yin
Tags: Habits, Pandemic, Purpose, Personal Development, Productivity

Remove yourself from distractions and start really doing something good

Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

Have you ever felt the existence of time? I had felt it before however the feeling just got stronger since I started remote working. I felt time, though invisible, was passing through moment by moment especially when I was wasting it. However, my low-level awareness did not provoke any action immediately in that very moment. My delayed regrets came after by thinking “I should have done that” with a groan. Actually, a lot of groans.

Undoubtedly, this pandemic has changed our lives. If we compare our lifestyle and routine before and after the pandemic, it reveals a fact — we are given the power of taking back control of our time. Time generally was consumed by something like commuting, long meetings, office lunch break or travelling to one place to another and so on. The same time that usually made me think “if I weren’t here, I could use the time to do A instead of B”. However, rather than using that precious time given back to us to make positive changes, most of us do nothing.

Here is the truth. Humans are good at living in the comfort zone. It’s our natural trait to seek safety and familiarity. Doing nothing makes us feel safe. We don’t push ourselves when doing nothing. Besides that, humans are good at making a seemingly true story to justify our action.

“I’m just going to take a break. I didn’t have those luxury time to chill out. It’s time to take my time”.

Nothing wrong with taking things slowly as long as that is not the only thing you do. We all need a break to move forwards. If we stay idle too long, what comes after that break is regrets and guilt. When life goes back to normal, we then realise nothing have been achieved and we beat ourselves up with what the hell was I doing all that time?

Are you familiar with these patterns? Probably this is not new to you. Something like this has happened many times in most people’s life. It has become a vicious cycle. A repeated history that you wish to change.

If you are working from home like me, you might know what’s like to regain control of your time. Working from home means no more commute. It also means no more ‘office’ lunch break which means you can decide when your lunch break is. Rather than staring at your phone or the laptop as the only choice for most people in the office, we are allowed to personalise our break time based on our needs — I personally love to take a power nap. Working from home also means the way we interact with colleagues is different. I noticed that since we are not in the office, chitchats between colleagues tend to be quicker and shorter. And this results in a shorter meeting time.

In my experience, though we did do a bit of small talk in a virtual meeting, it’s not the same to talk in a face-to-face meeting. We tend to get on the topics and start discussions quickly in our virtual meetings. Also, without distractions such as office noise, we can better focus on the tasks at hand. Hence, more productive.

It seems like we have more time than before but why some of us are still not accomplishing our desired goals personally and professionally? You probably already know the answer and what’s holding you back. Technology. It happens most people including me are slaves to technology. This pandemic might have changed where we work but changing the environment doesn’t change us. Our daily routine might be different, but our behaviour remains the same. Yep, different location but the same old guy.

Time to Get Out of this Regret Cycle

To get out of this rabbit hole, we need to first give ourselves a shocking fact on how much time we have wasted. We need to raise awareness even higher to free us from the vicious cycle that has trapped us more than once.

Let your phone help you a little bit. Just a little.

Firstly, check your phone. WHAT?? You just said we are slaves to technology and the next thing you asked is to use it? Sorry, I should have been more specific. Actually, I’m asking you to check your screen time, only. (Note: If you are an iPhone user, you should be able to see that on the widget section.)

Awareness is the key to wake us up. However, the level of awareness required by each person varies. Starting from evaluating our past is a good start. We would be shocked by the amount of time aggregated we spent on things that don’t need that much of our attention. Take social media as an example. We know we might have spent quite some time on Instagram but we didn’t know exactly how much was it until we saw the data on our phone. Let’s say you spend 2 hours a day on Instagram or Tik Tok for over a week. Imagine how much more meaningful things you could have achieved.

2. Use visual aids to direct attention

Now we are prepared for raised awareness. How do we remove us from distractions? Honestly, distractions will always be there. It all starts like this. You might just want to quickly check your phone but once you touch it, it’s hard to pull you away from the phone. What should you do when your willpower lost its way to find you back?

Certainly, we can use some help. Using visual aids is one of my favourite approaches. Put the objects related to your goals in front of you. Somewhere obvious and reachable. Somewhere you pass by every day. If you want to do more reading, put books on the place where you can see and touch. For example, you can put a book next to a TV remote control to remind you of doing some reading. If you want to exercise, put fitness mat in the room where it’s spatial enough to do workout and allows you to start immediately. If you don’t put those items in front of you or have the settings ready, chances are, you lose the momentum on the way to fetch it. This can happen within seconds. Because we as humans are easily distracted and sometimes give up just to stay in the comfort zone. Displaying objects relevant to goals on the obvious places can remind you that there is something else worthy of your time.

3. Give your mind a real break

There are also times that we don’t feel like doing anything. We reach out to our phones and lose ourselves in the world of social media. Sometimes we have no motivations, and we feel like resting is what we need. However, most people have a misunderstanding of what “resting” really means to our body. Watching Facebook lives or scrolling one image after another on Instagram is not going to help your brain rest. Those activities seem fun and relaxed to do but your brain is constantly receiving and processing the external information social media is feeding. These noises are draining your energy. That is why some people feel mentally exhausted after using social media. Social media is not all evil. Just be aware of how much time you are on it. If not numbly scrolling social media feeds, what are better things to do when we don’t feel like thinking or learning? You might be surprised with what I’m going to say — literally do nothing or pick some menial tasks to allow your mind to wander. Something that doesn’t’ require too much effort for your brain to work on. Personally, I like to do some cleaning or cooking. I set my mind free while getting the house tidy. It’s like a win-win situation for me. When your brain is properly rested, you feel refreshed and are equipped with the energy needed for your personal or professional projects.

4. Talk to your friends

Another way that can give you a motivation boost is to talk to a friend. Rather than stalking your friends on Instagram, giving them a call might be a better idea. With stricter and stricter quarantine restrictions being issued, our social life has been significantly impacted. Some people might feel the current situation very hard because they work and live abroad alone. Their interactions with people have been reduced to the minimum. Fortunately, the software of video chat exists for us. Having a conversation with friends not only can make us feel less isolated but sometimes it inspires us. Your dear friends might tell you what they have been up to during the pandemic such as starting their own business or taking online courses to improve themselves. Humans tend to be competitive. It’s our nature. After getting your friend’s recent updates, you learned he/she has been constantly actively doing something, it might motivate you to start your journey.

Are you lost in time and technology? Fear not. Many people have been there. It’s never too late to make a change if that’s what you long for — to become a better version of yourself.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it, hit that clap button below. This would mean a lot to me and help other people see the story. :)