Bride Kidnapping Still Happens In Some Parts Of The World
Tags: Writing, Asia, Culture, History, Marriage

Bride Kidnapping Still Happens In Some Parts Of The World

Bride Kidnapping is a common practice in Kyrgyzstan, even though it is prohibited by law; Source: Channel News Asia

Bride kidnapping, also known as “marriage by capture” or “marriage by abduction” is what happens where a man captures a woman that he wishes to marry. It is a ritual which dates back to the Central Asian romantic tradition when potential grooms kidnapped potential brides so they could get married.

Apart from Central Asia, Bride kidnapping is also prevalent in Sub-Saharan Africa and the Caucasus. For years, many men have constantly relied on this ritual as a means of ambushing young ladies by kidnapping and detaining them until they forcefully agreed to marry them.

Bride kidnapping is also called “Ala Kachuu” in Kyrgyzstan,which means “to take and run away”.

In Kyrgyzstan, many ladies are forced into non-consensual marriages. Source: Pime Asia News

The process of bride kidnapping

Most times, the kidnap is usually a planned action that happens in public places. When a group of young men see a lady that one of them likes, they secretly connive and then carry her forcefully into a waiting car.

A regular scenario is when a woman is kidnapped from the streets as she goes about her daily activities. When this happens and she can’t escape, she is left with no choice but to adhere to her abductor’s demands.

In such cases, how well the abductor knows the lady never seems to be an issue. The targets are usually young girls and women that are below 18 years of age.

Sometimes, the mode of kidnap could be through any means. In the past, the men used horses, but now, car kidnapping is more frequent. Some men will even go as far as hiring a car to kidnap if they have to.

Once the intended bride is kidnapped, she is brought in while crying and struggling with the current reality that she has just been captured. She is instantly taken to the would-be groom’s family home and every effort is made to convince her to marry him.

The female relatives of the man are usually around and waiting to put pressure on the lady by convincing her to accept the forced marriage request.

In many cases, the older women in the family use bullying tactics to get abducted ladies to give consent. The most common method is the use of physical restraint by putting a scarf on the lady’s head till she agrees to their demands.

Other times, some of the kidnapped young ladies are raped and shamed into marrying their abductors.

While some lucky female victims are rescued by their families after negotiation, others are forced to accept the marriage proposal because they don’t want to be perceived as “used women".

If no family member negotiates for the release of the lady, she is left with no choice but to start loving and building a life with her kidnapper who then becomes her new husband.

Reaction towards bride kidnapping

Bride kidnapping is more common than we know; Source: Reason

The general reaction towards this form of forced marriage differs. While many people see it as a terrible infringement on the fundamental liberties of women, there are others that see nothing wrong with it. In fact, some Kyrgyz women see bride kidnapping as a harmless act.

A 60 year old Kyrgyz woman had once admitted during an interview that although she was kidnapped and forced into marriage, she was happy with her family and everything eventually turned out well.

Some other women even consider bride kidnapping to be a romantic act and insist that they adhered to it based on their desire to uphold the long-standing tradition.

Consequences of bride kidnapping

There is a certain sense of judgment and stigma attached to ladies who sleep outside their family homes, even if it happened for just one night.

For this reason, many negative connotations are attached to bride kidnapping. For instance, where a lady has been kidnapped and has spent more nights outside her family’s home, it is perceived as a stain on her reputation. As long as she has entered her kidnapper’s abode, she is no longer considered to be “pure" and returning to her family’s home may be deemed shameful.

Many ladies that are caught up in this unfortunate situation simply go ahead to marry their abductors because they do not want to put their family’s reputation on the line.

It gets worse where the lady is kidnapped and also raped by her abductor. Some kidnappers do this so they can exercise more manipulative powers and coerce their victims into residing with them.

In 2017, many young ladies in Krgyzstan were still being kidnapped and forced to marry their captors. In fact, some surveys have highlighted that bride kidnapping is very common in local Krgyzstan and that 1 out of every 3 marriages begins with kidnapping.

Sadly, many of the kidnapping-induced marriages are not even happy ones and most of them end badly. They are fraught with high divorce rates and significantly high cases of domestic violence.

Unfortunately, the desire of a victim to escape is based largely on her parents’ willingness to intervene and rescue her. If a lady is from a home where bride kidnapping is a prominent basis for marriages, she may have lower chances of escaping if kidnapped.

Many ladies devise an escape plan

Forced marriage is a terrifying ordeal, particularly for its victims. Many ladies who live in places where bride kidnapping is a trend, are forced to relocate so that they don’t become victims of forced marriages.

In fact, those young ladies whose parents got married through forced marriages are most likely to emigrate.

Bride kidnapping has led to the death of many young women

A rally in front of Kyrgyzstan’s interior ministry after the murder of kidnapped bride, Aizada Kanatbekova; Source: Reuters

Bride kidnapping is a grave violation of the rights of its victims and sadly, some women have lost their lives to it. For instance, Aizada Kanatbekova and Burulai Turdaaly Kyzy were murdered by their abductors once they attempted to resist the forced marriage custom.

Another lady, Kyal, was also reported to have hung herself after she was kidnapped. It is purported that she was probably raped after being kidnapped and this may have caused her to take her own life.

These deaths resulted to rallies within the hometowns of the late victims and large national protests in several parts of Kyrgyzstan. There are several incidents of brides in forced marriages dealing with depression, inflicting self-harm and committing suicide.

Sadly, despite several YouTube videos showing several real instances of bride kidnapping, the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women has only identified one conviction for bride kidnapping which happened in 2008. This clearly shows that it’s only few people who perpetrate this evil that are being punished. Their evil acts are mostly ignored under the disguise that it is a native custom.

A simple search will reveal this brutal practice, as can be seen in some videos of men grabbing women and pushing them into cars in broad daylight.

In 2013, president Almazbek Atambayev, the former president of Kyrgyzstan, went ahead to approve legislation that sought an increase in the penalty of bride kidnapping to 10 years.

The New York Post further notes that nearly 12,000 girls and women are kidnapped and forced into non-consensual marriages every year. Unsurprisingly, the abducted ladies are very young. Even in Krygyzstan where this is quite rampant, at least one out of ten girls are forced to get married before they turn 18.