Broken By a Girl yet Alive
Tags: Lovestory, Women, Relationships, Betrayal Trauma, Breakups

Everyone lives a thousand deaths in their existence. I like many mortals are unfazed by the concept of death as it is inevitable since the moment we took our first breath.

Ironically, the last few days seemed more deathly than the actual god of death entry in my life in the future.

A girl loved me yet she left me in a matter of mere hours. She was an angel in my life with her dreamy voice, enchanting eyes, and idealism flowing in her veins. I could still write poetic lines about her while she has blocked me everywhere.

I wish she could call me and tell me why she did that. From her mother calling me on Sunday to invite me for lunch on Wednesday to her scolding my mother the next day seems like a Shakesperean tragedy. From discussing marriage dresses to blocking my shadow on social media channels is a lyrical ode to her betrayal. I did everything to keep her sane while I was collapsing working from my pad in Gurugram. I could have moved to Mumbai for the WFH routine but stayed here to support her in all circumstances.

She left me in a flash while I work in the lucidly loneliness dampened pad of mine in Gurugram. I protected her sanity against her toxic relatives and childhood trauma while I suffer alone without a whimper from her. I walk like a king without a queen on the parched lands of hope. The love I never sought but it came to me without a warning.

I walk in the memories while she consigned me to ancient relics of relationships. I am broken without sweat and bereft of hope. she blocked me on LinkedIn today and I am confused if everything we had was a vivid hallucination. Who is She? What made her so indifferent now? Why the sudden implosion? these questions ring me every second I am alone.

Time goes forward. It’s been 4 days since the break-up of a relationship we both invested heavily. from being the blue-dotted prospective son-in-law to a desolate boy, the journey is exhaustive as well as deadly for anyone’s soul. I will recover slowly and magnificently like a warrior after a war of the century.

She used to talk to my maa for hours and yet she blocked her without an explanation. I feel like a king whose kingdom was swept by an indestructible force. I will rebuild my life with aid of allies from around the world. Time will heal me but I am curious. What’s the situation in her mind? What is she thinking? Does she remember me?

If I have become a nobody in her thought and soul, I am pleased. I am happy that the relationship didn’t go down the marriage path. I walk down the lonely path of redemption for my family holds the umbrella of hope over me.

I wish her success in finding a man approved by her mother. The only regret is that I spent years with her dreaming about marriage.

I will rise like a phoenix from the ashes as my name “Abhinav” means in Hindi. I have died a little and need resuscitation from the hopes given by people around me.

Time will come for everyone sooner or later but I am content that I did my best to my abilities, faith, and respect.

She will disappear into my memories like other dark events in my life.

I pray to the old and the new gods that she finds a better man as her mother wishes

If she doesn’t, she will walk the path of regret with a burden more than the God Atlas.

I would have walked down the underworld to Hades if she wished me good

Now, I walk the earth like a battered man like other infinite heartbroken souls