How to Build a Stronger, Happier Relationship
By: Banchiwosen Woldeyesus, Blogger Ethiopia
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Self, Relationship Building, Love

In case you haven’t noticed, love in the home of some couples gets stronger as more time passes while other couples stamp love to death.

Love rarely happens from bumping into a handsome guy in front of the Eiffel Tower. It usually starts with an awkward ask, a relayed signal between friends and friendship growing into love.

Couples who are unhappy delude themselves into thinking love as a white knight riding on a horse to save their relationship.

No magic rider exists, dear one.

Love builds after lots of terrible dates, lots of wonderful dates, time away from dating, and agonizing over uncertainty about the person you love.

It builds in a very stable, routine day-to-day place.

That’s both the gift and challenge of building love. It’s a gift because you work at love. You strengthen or break your relationship with the way you use (or squander) this gift.

Building love is also a challenge because you must work on the love all the time. A relationship where you expect your past efforts to sustain your relationship fails. No time exists in your relationship where love does not need your work.

Working on the love you have is always on, thus challenging all of us. Because we must put in the effort when the sunshine fades. We keep on building our love because we want the light to shine through our relationship.

For a stronger, happier relationship:

Show up within your partnership

Lean into your discomfort and practice vulnerability. This challenges you every day. Because sometimes you want to hide from your partner. Sometimes, you even want to hide from your own self.

But you don’t act on what you want, but what’s right. What a gift to show up in your relationship, without wearing a mask.

Without showing up, really showing up, love leaves.

When you practice vulnerability, your relationship grows. With each honesty. Each flaw. Each argument. You square your wings and fly above as unhappy couples stand clueless.

Take responsibility for your emotional baggage and not let it hurt your partner

It’s easy to put our emotions on our partner. They love us so they must carry our emotional baggage.

Wrong.

It’s on us to take responsibility for our emotions. Remembering this and acting on it is a challenge every happier, stronger relationship wins. It’s also a gift that strengthens your love, by relieving the weight from your partner’s shoulders.

Invest in building love

The more energy, time, and commitment you pour into a relationship, the more love builds. You do not love someone without spending time and energy on them. To build love, get to know your loved one, even when they change through the years.

This is a precious gift.

A stronger, happier relationship is where you consciously invest in your love, even when the person you love changes right before your eyes.

How you love your partner with this change builds your love or disintegrates it.

As author Emily Giffin beautifully explains in her book, “Love the one you’re with”:

“Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, anything, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.”

Remember that love is not a destination, but a journey

If you want a stronger, happier relationship, you must never get too comfortable. The love your partner gives is theirs to give, which means it’s not yours and it’s never a guarantee either.

Under this mindset, you’re also required to nourish your connection while still taking care of yourself.

Love becomes a verb you practice, not a noun you get.

So, you take responsibility for your happiness. Your balance between your unity and individuality. You check in with your partner and discuss how your relationship is doing.

Because ignoring the work can take away our love. It’s important that both of you build your love to help it stay.