Acceptance and Happiness. “Letting go is not about releasing…
By: Chinmay S Yalameli
Tags: Acceptance Key, Happiness, Acceptance Testing, Acceptance, Acceptance And Happiness

“Letting go is not about releasing, it's about accepting what already is”. Acceptance is a major pillar of a happy life. The attitude of acceptance has the power to neutralize many noises in our head and to find answers to many questions that are unanswered. When you accept who you are, your mind comes to ease. You can make your life much better when you start accepting things as they are. Let's begin with a story I read a few months back.

Once upon a time in gurukul, a disciple asked his guru a question, “What is life, how to lead a successful life?”, O beloved guru can you please explain its secret to me. The guru answered, “Life is a game of choices to be made within the stipulated time and its purpose is to live”. The confounded disciple asked to elaborate. Guru replied, as human beings, we are powered with intellect to make choices throughout our life which will result in experiences. These experiences pleasant or vexing will act as building blocks of life. He further took students to the field outside the gurukul. The day was sunny and the field was filled with blooming sunflowers, diligently planted in separate lines. The guru had a task for each student. Each disciple had to pluck the largest sunflower in the line allotted to him in a limited amount of time. But there was a condition that students cannot revert to pluck the flower that they have seen before. They have to go straight and in a single direction to bring the biggest flower. Disciples started there task and when they completed the task results were as follows. 1.Few disciples saw a big flower in the beginning and in a hope that they would get a bigger flower ended up with a small or medium-sized flower ahead in the line. 2.Few disciples saw a big flower in the beginning and plucked it and brought it back as the biggest flower. But they always had a doubt, what if there was a bigger flower ahead in line? did we make a mistake by choosing this? 3.Another set of disciples kept on going and never found the biggest flower, they returned empty-handed. They were disappointed as they did not choose while they had a chance to pluck a flower in the middle of their journey. 4.Few disciples got frustrated when they could not find a bigger flower than the one they saw previously, they plucked a medium-sized flower in the middle of their journey and brought it back. 5.Few lucky ones found the biggest flower at the end but they could not return on time. But at last, every disciple was disappointed and had his own doubts. Seeing the dejected and regretful faces of disciples guru announced that there will be another round with a different set of rules. This time each disciple had to pluck a flower which they find most elegant and beautiful. when they came back, some had plucked large ones, while some small ones, some were tall while some short. In the end, each disciple seemed satisfied and happy with the flower they had.

The above story summarises the power of acceptance in our life. Throughout life, we are always in search of the biggest flower. We always want to achieve more, earn more, live kingsize but in the end, many end up disappointed.

So does it mean that striving for more, working hard, dreaming big is bad?. Absolutely not, they are the most essential components and the topic of some other day. This contradiction leads to one more important topic and the most important trait “The balance in life”. Its also necessary that in search of the biggest flower, we should not miss out on the timing part. The moment we learn to accept the fact that the flower in the hand is the biggest and most elegant one is the day when our lives change. We should not waste much time on the things that will not lead to happiness and peace. We often spend years of our life in agony for those few days of happiness a big flower might bring. let's compare our lives with disciples in the story and learn some lessons,

Cut short the journey. learn to find happiness in small things.

Many of us fall into this category. Like the first set of disciples, we ignore the first big flower in hope that we may find a bigger one. We will not spend money on vacations for the car we want to buy one day, we will work day and night ignoring health for the house that we want to own, etc. What after you bought the car and house, what's next. How will you compensate for the lost happiness hidden in the small things? How will you compensate for the years you lost in the search?. Always learn to appreciate what you have in hand. Learn to be happy today for everything you have, concentrate on the small things that lead to happiness. Learn to accept the fact that this chase never ends. Ones you start finding happiness in the journey, the destination will not serve you any value.

2. Forget about what-ifs, ones the decision has been made.

Like the second set of disciples, many wonder and regret that they could have had a little more. What if I walked and checked out a few more sunflowers, what if I studied hard when I was young, what if I married another person, what if…..!. The beauty of life is that there is no end to the wishes we have. The simple secret is that “there is no way to find the biggest sunflower”. There is no end to the field but there is an end to the time you have. To be happy don't think about the decisions you made in past or fight traumatic experiences you have had. Instead, accept them the way they are. Your past cannot haunt you without your permission. Do not fight your own intellect make peace with the past and learn from the experiences.

3.Dream big, find your focus and start helping.

You have put your best, worked hard, and still, you could not succeed. They are the third set of disciples who return empty-handed without finding sunflower. You have to accept the fact if you have failed miserably it doesn't mean its the end of the story. You cannot compare apples to oranges. If you ever feel you have wasted your life, it just might be that you are in the wrong game. Try to find your focus, find out what you love doing. Reconfigure your life, dream big, and start again. You never know how much time you have on your plate. Dream big but start small. When you achieve small goals, you will see the light returning to life.

4. Find your mistakes early and correct them. Listen to your gut.

These are the set of people who tend to be happiest or successful. They are the fourth set of disciples who will not repeat the mistakes of ignoring the big flower when they reencounter it. We all do mistakes, but only a few have the guts to own and correct them. When you are not happy in life your heart keeps shouting at you. We have to use our intellect wisely and learn from all the mistakes and make a wise decision. As quoted by Mark Twain. “Good decisions come from experience and experience come from the bad decisions”. We have to be cautious to make fewer mistakes and learn more from the already committed ones.

5. If you are blessed with things, keep giving back.

If you are one of the few lucky ones, who are blessed with things that many don't. For example, you have a beautiful family that supports you, a passionate job, you have enough money to survive. If you feel you are blessed, don't waste your time looking further. Do not fall into the fifth set of disciples who found the flower but missed out on time. You have to realize that your biggest flower is right in your hands and all you have to do is to cherish and protect it. If you are privileged enough then give back to people. Help those who are in need, help them to find their flower. There is no greater happiness than the happiness you brought in other people's lives. Learn to give.

At last, remember that you can not change or improve anything that is not willing to change. To change or to make something better you have to accept it as it is now.