A Letter to My Older Self
By: Nyengo Mtawali
Tags: Personal, Letters, Introspection, Journal, Humour

Photo by Freddy Castro on Unsplash

Dear 2030-Nyengo,

I won’t bother with formalities like framing this as an actual letter because let’s face it, we don’t care about things like that. At least I don’t care about things like that. And if you do, then I have to ask; what the hell happened to you bro? We both know why I’m here. I have a couple of questions to ask that only God can answer, and since he hasn’t been that audible lately (or my entire life really) I decided to ask the next best thing: you. So let’s dive right in and hopefully technology will have advanced enough by then for you to actually respond to this.

· First, and foremost, are you even still alive? I mean I know we always thought 27 would be the perfect age to die, so we could join the 27 Club (cause obviously, I am deserving). But did that actually pan out or are you still trudging on with existence?

· Secondly, do you still believe in God? And if so, which one? Cause let me tell you, man, your faith is a little bit shaky right now and it wouldn’t surprise me if you said you went off the rails.

· Almost equally as important: is The Last of Us: Part II worth it? I know you’ve seen all the leaks and the story sounds like, for lack of a better term, absolute bullshit. But those trailers man, maaaaaan! I need to know whether it’s worth buying.

Photo by Verena Yunita Yapi on Unsplash

· Do you have kids? If you do I’ll take that as a sign that you’re rich enough to support those money-pits. And you’re probably raising them with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, who actually wants to spend the rest of their life with you. And that’s a plus overall. Don’t mess this up, man.

· Have you gotten over the abandonment issues? If you haven’t, please, please get over the abandonment issues. It will make even the little things in life less painful.

· How good is Tenet? I know it’s good cause Christopher Nolan doesn’t miss and my nigga John David Washington is leading- but I just want to know how good.

· How are the only tolerable children currently in your life doing? Is she still on music? Is he still gaming? I won’t bother with asking if they’re functional members of society because they’re being raised by your brother, they’ll be fine. I need to know about the important things.

· Have you figured out how to juggle your passions yet? Or merge them? Cause you can’t keep switching between 5 different things you love for the rest of your life. Or maybe you can. I mean what the hell do I know, you’ve been at this longer than I have.

· I know you’re probably not allowed to divulge this kind of information but why don’t you be a bit of a rebel and tell me who won the 2021 Champions League. And throw in the 2021 NBA Finals too. I won’t bet too much money on it, enough to cause an alarm with the space-time continuum police. I just want enough winnings to finance a PS5.

Photo by Charles Sims on Unsplash

· How many of our friends are divorced? I know that kind of sounds insensitive but you’ve seen the statistics on these things. So you might as well tell me.

· How’s your therapist? The current one (current as in 2020). Do you keep in touch? If you don’t this is a reminder to at least thank her for all the help she’s given you.

Finally, “World Ablaze” just came on, and it’s a pretty accurate description of Planet Earth on June 9th, 2020 (I don’t know if you remember how bad it is but trust me, it’s bad). So I’ll close this with a quote from that instead of a question. “Say it’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright. So could you just tell me it’ll be… Tell me it’ll be… Tell me it’ll be… Tell me it’ll be… Tell me it’ll be…”

Yours,

2020-Nyengo