How to Find the Will to Act Even When Others Don’t
By: Jill, Conquering Cognitions
Tags: Psychology, Helping Others, Self Improvement, Social Psychology, This Happened To Me

How to Find the Will to Act Even When Others Don’t

The forces of social influence are strong. Learn to overcome inaction and help others do the same. Jill (Conquering Cognitions) Sep 3·6 min read

Image by AD_Images from Pixabay

A few miles into my morning run, I turned a corner and saw a woman lying on the sidewalk up ahead. She was in a dress, and her shoes were in the grass nearby. At first, I thought she might be sleeping, but as I got closer, she sat up and scooted off the sidewalk. I stopped and asked if she was OK, and she responded, “yes” without lifting her head which was resting on her bent knees.

“Are you sure? Is there someone I can call for you?” I asked.

Without making eye contact, she responded with a firm, “No.”

I contemplated my next move for some time. The woman was conscious and speaking, so it didn’t appear to be a medical emergency, but something seemed wrong. Was she waiting for a ride? We were on a busy road, so I reasoned that she could get help from a passing car if she decided she needed it.

After one more verbal reassurance from her that she was OK, I started to run again. With every step, I had a growing concern that I had made the wrong decision, so after a block, I turned around and ran back. “ I will call whoever you like, but I’m not going to leave you here like this,” I told her.

For the first time, she looked up, and it was clear she was ill.

This twenty-something-year-old told me she had consumed magic mushrooms and was having a bad trip. She was dizzy, unstable on her feet, and disoriented, plus she had lost her phone.

The young woman asked me to call her parents, which I did, and as I was on the phone, a soldier in a passing car stopped to help. Then, car after car slowed down to ask if we needed assistance. In all, about twenty cars stopped in the thirty minutes before her parents arrived to take her home.

I don’t know how long the woman was lying on the sidewalk before I reached her, but long enough for several cars to drive by, yet none of them pulled over to help. I suspect the people in the passing vehicles didn’t stop because they weren’t sure how to respond. Although this doesn’t excuse their inaction, it may explain it. People are less likely to help in ambiguous situations. Once I offered aid to the woman, it became clear to others that help was needed, and concerned citizens began to react.

The Power of the Group

Many people don’t tolerate ambiguity well, including me. Unfortunately, in my city, it is not unusual for people to be sleeping on the sidewalk. As a result, the appropriate action in the above situation wasn’t immediately clear to me, or others, it seemed.

Ambiguous situations are open to interpretation. We seek out environmental and social cues to guide us, including paying attention to how other people are responding to the event.

Humans are social creatures, and there is both protection and power in the pack. When we are alone and encounter an uncertain situation, the onus is on us to decide how to respond. When other people are present, we share this decision-making power and look to others to guide our behavior. This group tendency is called diffusion of responsibility, and sometimes the group is wrong.

In a classic experiment from 1968, Latane and Darley studied the power of group dynamics in an emergency. This study had subjects either fill out surveys alone in a room, or in a room with two other people who were part of the research team. In both conditions, smoke was pumped into the room through a vent. When individuals were working alone, 75% of them left the room to report the smoke. In the group setting, only 10% of the research subjects left the room to tell someone about the smoke. A person’s response to the potential emergency was inhibited when other people in the room did nothing.

The power of group influence has been replicated numerous times including this 2016 study. When a fellow bystander does not react to a seemingly emergent situation (fire alarm), we are less likely to respond too. Conversely, when a bystander takes action, this prompts us to take necessary action. We are influenced by other people’s behavior.

In my opening story, people only started to offer assistance when they saw me stop to help. What might have happened to the woman if I hadn’t stopped?

Resisting Ignorance

In addition to watching how others respond, we make assumptions about their behavior, and this in turn impacts our actions. For example, after a presentation, when the professor allows for questions, people are often hesitant to be the first to raise their hand. Individuals may look around the room and see that no other hands are raised and infer that they are the only ones that didn’t understand the material. They feel foolish and resist asking a question. In truth, probably everyone is looking around the room and thinking the same thing.

This curious and potentially damaging phenomenon is called pluralistic ignorance, a social psychology term in which we believe we are feeling differently from those around us, even though we are acting the same. In the lecture hall example, the behavior is similar (not raising one’s hand to ask a question), but our assumptions about the behavior are different (I’m not raising my hand because I don’t want to embarrass myself, but they aren’t raising their hands because they understand the material).

The tendency to misinterpret behavior can create trouble if there is a situation that requires action. We sense something is amiss, we look around and see no one else is responding, so we worry we might be overreacting to the event. We decide to do nothing — everyone does nothing.

The Good News

At times, people’s inaction has led to tragic results — there are heartbreaking stories about bystanders who did not intervene in a time of crisis. However, despite how this might be portrayed in the media, research suggests that most people are willing to help.

A 2020 study published in American Psychologist reviewed 219 surveillance cameras in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, and South Africa (Cape Town) to investigate “real-life bystander intervention.” This research revealed that in 90% of situations involving public conflict, at least one bystander, and often more, intervened. Ninety percent!

People will help, and they are more likely to assist when they recognize there is a need.

The Power of One

How can we shift from a passive bystander to an active participant?

If you are in an ambiguous situation and not sure how to respond, instead of looking around for guidance, look inside. Ask yourself: If I were alone, how would I respond?

We worry about overreacting, but what are the consequences of underreacting to a potentially emergent situation?

It’s natural to look to others for guidance, but this can provide conflicting data, especially if we misinterpret the group’s behavior. When assumptions come from inaccurate data, errors can happen.

It takes courage to be the first responder. If you encounter a confusing situation, start by asking clarifying questions and offer help even if it might not seem needed. If your intuition is telling you something is wrong, listen to it. You might be the first to act, but if it is an emergency, you likely won’t be alone for long. People will model their behavior after yours.