Working For Someone Or Working For Yourself
By: Astha Singh
Tags: Work, Women In Business, Freelancing, Startup Lessons, Entrepreneurship

“So… How does it feel to work for yourself?” — this is something I get asked too often since I started to venture into my startup. So I thought to myself, let me do a roundup of all the feelings that catch me now and then.

After completing my MBA and working for a couple of years, the first few months were nothing less than a blessing. There was so much — these so-called “Good Vibes” — peace, positivity, fresh perspective, zeal and the will to change the world, the industry and to top it all — become a better person and professional. One year into the journey, the landscape has changed a lot. The reality has seeped in from all the corners and cracks. The good vibes are now only visible on my coffee mug, and as I sip my morning coffee, I wonder where the rest of the big words have vanished.

Are you scared, as yet? Well, don’t worry, the above paragraph is the best and the most honest introduction that someone will ever give to you. Ask any of the founders about the days when they were working from their dining room. There are days that I feel that I can conquer the world, but then there are when I feel like packing my stuff, take off for the Himalayas and crush my laptop with one of the rocks there.

I guess I have strayed from the original question. Let me put the answer in a way that it is relatable. Here goes:

1. Monday Blues Are A Thing Of Past

When I was working, the only blues I ever felt was a Monday one, and my Instagram is full of stories with the hashtag — #mondayblues. But now the scene is a little different. The first thing is, that for me to attach blues to a particular day, I should remember the days of the week and second of all, every night brings blues for me. The simple reason is being the fact that the next morning will present me with the same problems that I nicely shoved under the rug when I shut down my laptop and called it a day. But at the same time, here is an upside, I take Monday as an off. It is my revenge against all those Mondays that made my Sunday night a cribbing session.

2. I Am No More An Introvert

When I was working, I used to look forward to the weekends. And for the people who know me, I am not big about going out. I loved my cosy nook and Zomato, or Swiggy was the only friend that I needed. But now, times have changed. I go out to see people. Sometimes at around 2 am, I go out, have roadside tea and observe people while sipping my Masala Chai. But in all honesty, that is the moment of realisation for me. I realise that I can do this and soak at this moment because I don’t have to wake up at 7 am to get ready to go to the office.

3. Pyjamas Are My New Best Friends

Every Saturday night, when I used to do my laundry, I used to take out six pair of clothes for the next week, and that used to be a therapeutic moment. In that flow, I could also shop for something new for a simple reason that I was wearing the same colour for two days in a row. Earlier I had “clothes for home” and “clothes for going out”. But now it has come down to “decent clothes for home” and “torn clothes for sleeping” and of course — a hoody for taking emergency work calls. Now I can always wear my clothes for going out, but then the laziness asks me a question — Is it worth all the effort? And there — I have an epiphany. Now the bright side to all of this is that I don’t have to pay for ironing anymore. I wash the clothes, dry them, fold (sometimes I skip this step too) and wear them.

4. My Phone Doesn’t Ring Anymore

When I used to go home even on leave, my phone wouldn’t stop ringing. I couldn’t complete one conversation with my family without getting at least one ping. I felt wanted, and that made me happy. I always used to carry a power bank with me because my iPhone’s battery would discharge every 7–8 hours. And I would blame Apple for looting me — almost sold my kidney to buy one iPhone but they can’t even give a proper battery that could last a day. But now, the only calls I receive as from various customer support executives. There are days when even they don’t call me — probably because they know I don’t spend as much now and I am no more a valuable customer. Here is a bright side to it, I speak a lot more to my parents now, I get a lot of time to read and be at peace. The most important thing is that I came to know that my iPhone has a decent battery backup and my phone can last for up to two days without charging.

5. Home Remedies Are The New Normal

Early in days when I had some human interaction, I cared about my looks. I would get manicure and pedicure done every 15 days. I would pamper myself to a full-body spa and let the steam off with some head massage. I would get my eyebrows done almost every week, but now I only visit the salon when my face lock faces trouble recognising me. I am sure a lot of you must be thinking “you should care for yourself for your own sake and not for others!”. Well, let me save you some trouble. When you are living off your savings, it becomes a luxury to go out to the salon. I now prefer to buy some paid illustrations for my website over the OPI Nail paint. But here is the upside to all this — I have discovered a lot of homemade ways to take care of my skin and hair. And of course, this has improved my skin quality and also has improved the quality of my website.

6. I Can Only Blame Myself Now

Now the point I am going to talk about is the one I miss the most about working for someone else. Earlier, when we used to have our review meetings, there always used to be someone who messed up alongside you. And at that moment, the feeling of mutual admiration seeps in, and you imagine all those moments when you and the other person will be the best friends for life. But then your imagination also goes a little further, and you realise that your boss is going to make your life a living hell. In that very moment, you see to your right and then to your left and find that weak link in your team to blame. Or if you are a team leader, you just humbly say “As the team lead, I take this one for the team”, and you become a hero. Well, I don’t get to live these moments anymore. When something goes wrong, I don’t have anyone else to blame. I can’t talk my colleagues and my boss. I can’t blame my seniors or the leadership for the mess. The only person I can blame now is — ME. The upside of this that I don’t need to care about office politics. I get more time to self-introspect, and that has made me better than what I do. I have become my most prominent critic, and that has somewhere improved the quality of my work.

7. Money Management Is My New Skill

Here comes one of our basic needs — Money. When I was working, one dream that I had from an economic front was — “One day I will be paid higher than this”. I would have long conversations with my dad about investment so that I can get some income tax exemption. The only time I cared about my rent was the time when I used to file my income tax and used to wonder if I really pay so much money as rent. The weekends used to be about exploring new restaurants and long weekends used to about those short getaway trips. The fact that the salary will get credited to my account every month was such a comfort. That security acts as a padding, and sometimes we are not able to feel the reality that lies beneath that cushioning. Now, it has been a year that any salary has credited to my account, and now I have one dream — “There would come a day when I would be able to pay myself”. But it isn’t as bad as it sounds. This past year has made me so much better at money management. I have started asking the right questions before spending the money. I have realised that money is not what makes us happy. It is the people around us. You can have fun even at your home; there is nothing like home-cooked meals; and this past year has taught me the real sense of ‘Netflix and Chill’.

8. Diets Are Overrated

When I was working for someone else, to stay fit, I used to try all those fad diets. I used to buy all those expensive superfoods — flax seeds, chia seeds, quinoa, organic millets, avocados, so on and so forth. I had all those fancy memberships for swimming clubs, stadium, high-end gyms, etc. And of course, the most exciting part was buying outfits all those activities. That was a good time! And now, the only thing I rely upon is walking and cross trainer (this is one of my old days buy)! And before you ask me, no more superfoods. Just regular available food. Again, it is not the time to indulge in the luxury right now. The upside? I have never been fitter. I have realised that all I needed to do was walk regularly and eat home-cooked meals. That was the diet that was required.

9. I Am My Own Boss

When I was working, the one thing I didn’t have to worry about was generating work. Got confused? I mean, I had a defined role, and there was a job description. I exactly knew what I had to do, and there was a boundary. I had some numbers to achieve and some tasks to complete. You do that, and you are good to go. Yes, of course, I had to think of innovative ways to do my work, but I knew what I had to do. If something was not working, I could go to someone for help. There used to a definitive vision board, and everyone knew what we had to achieve. And the best part, we didn’t have to create the vision board. But now things are so different. I have to create my vision board, decide my numbers, and there is no defined job description. There are days when I lose my path, and it is all dark. There are days that I doubt my vision, and I question everything that I have been working for so long. But the upsides are the days when I fall in love with the work that I do. And I feel free because I get my creative freedom. I have the power to choose my vision and my path.

So, the bottom line is that there are days when I feel the urge to go back to days when I was working for someone else, but then there are days when I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Like right now I am feeling blessed that I don’t have to write the 10th point to complete this blog because I do not have to get it approved from someone and I am my own boss! But there is this small doubt, what if this is a mistake and I wish I had someone to approve it so that I can be sure!