Struggling With Your Goals? Take a Break.
By: Crissi Langwell
Tags: Self Improvement, Life Lessons, Health, Success, Goals

Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash

This morning I woke up at 5 a.m., just like I do every morning. I poured myself a cup of coffee, did my inspirational reading, and then opened my journal to write my daily pages. It’s a routine I developed years ago, and has helped me to work out issues I’m struggling with, lay out my goals for the day, and keep me focused on the things I hope to accomplish in the long run. I end each journaling session with a checklist for the day, which usually includes tasks related to health, writing, work, and family obligations.

But today, that blank page stared me in the face. I felt the “shoulds” rising up in me. I should write about all the things bothering me right now so I can discover the solutions. I should address the reason I’m not sticking to my health goals, and what I can do differently today. I should figure out why I’m feeling blocked while editing my novel. I should add a bunch of things to my to-do list today so that I can end my work week on a productive note.

I should.

But I didn’t want to.

And so I didn’t.

I closed my journal and made a decision for the day. I was not doing any of it. Gym? No. Sticking to food rules? Nope. Editing my novel? Not today. Instead, I decided that today was a day for no rules, no obligations, and definitely NO SHOULDS.

Every January, there’s a lot of pressure to be productive and gung-ho about taking the right steps to reach goals. Add a new decade (save the debate…it’s the ‘20’s, all right?), and the pressure increases. This is the year/decade when we’ll lose the weight, write that book, reach our dreams, accomplish more, BE more… It’s when we change our lives and finally dedicate our energy to those things that only felt like wishes last year. This year will be different. This year will be when our wishes turn into reality.

And then, life steps in, and much of it comes in the form of bad habits you’ve developed. Remember last month when you partied it up over the holidays? When you accepted the darker mornings and slept in instead of waking up early to get a head start on your day? When you indulged in the desserts pouring into your office or delivered to you via cookie exchanges? Remember the missed workouts and the extra five pounds of winter weight you gained? Remember whatever it is that you slacked on last month, and are trying desperately to get on track this month…and just can’t?

I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I’m SHOWING you your guilt. We all have these grandiose plans for how we’re going to radically change our lives and make a better version of ourselves, especially after a month of indulgence, and when we slip up, we feel like failures. And then what happens?

We fall completely off the wagon.

We start the day with good intentions, and then end it feeling like we’ll never get it right, like we’re not even worthy of success because we can’t even stick to the plan.

We don’t just eat a bite of cake, we eat the whole thing. We don’t skip one workout, we just stop going to the gym altogether. The manuscript is pushed aside. The emails pile up. The goals feel further and further away. We start the day with good intentions, and then end it feeling like we’ll never get it right, like we’re not even worthy of success because we can’t even stick to the plan.

Stop.

This whole changing your life thing? It’s not simple stuff. It’s actually quite hard. There are going to be moments you’ll slip up. You’re going to take steps backward along with all your forward steps. Your timeline might need to be adjusted, and your actions may be the reason why.

And you might get really, really tired of trying to accomplish it all and ending the day accomplishing nothing.

So stop. Stop trying to be better. Don’t go to the gym. Let go of your lofty goal. Sleep in. Enjoy your favorite food. Binge watch your favorite TV show. Keep your computer closed.

But just for today.

Let go of the guilt and recognize you’re a human being trying to do hard things.

Today, give yourself permission to rest and not be so hard on yourself. Let go of the guilt and recognize you’re a human being trying to do hard things. Tomorrow you can go back to your goals and all the steps you need to take to reach them. Tomorrow, after you’ve rested, you’ll find the energy to reassess all the things you need to do to reach the finish line, and if you need to adjust your timeline. Tomorrow you can go back to working toward the dream.

But today? Take a break.