HOW TO RAISE A STREET SMART PRE-TEEN OR TEEN
By: Brighter Girls Life Initiative
Tags: Education, Street, Teens, Teenagers, Parents

How do I raise a street smart teenager? — A parent asked me this at a Mother’s Day Conference, where I spoke on Parenting in the 21st Century.

The world is changing; there’s the advent of technology and globalization with an influx of new information and knowledge. As a result, the workplace also has a new look- virtual offices, new skill sets with a new range of requirements and more.

Parenting isn’t left behind. Parents are now required to be 21st-century parents who connect with their kids differently and adopt new skills set in raising their kids; this includes raising a street smart kid prepared for life away from home and able to thrive in the real world.

So who is a street smart Teen?

The word street here doesn’t describe the streets we walk in but the ‘real world’- the people in it and the different interactions. Being street smart also goes beyond a ‘teen that lives on the street’ to one who has the acquired skills, capacities and a mindset able to thrive in any given situation, such as interacting with a total stranger, visiting a new place the first time, making intelligent decisions, showing up confidently on the first day on the job, etc

Being street smart can be the result of a natural mindset, a conscious acquisition of requisite skills or the outcome of an experience.

The above implies that the skills or capacities required to be street smart can be a natural state of mind or reasoning. So you can have a child who naturally lives outside the ‘box’, questions stereotypes and is wired with adaptive abilities.

It can also be a conscious process of learning life skills. As children grow and their brains develop, they can learn skills or tools. Many children lie within these spectra, and parents have the key responsibility of creating systems where life skills can be taught and practised, especially those representing their values such as Honesty. Empathy. Kindness and Faith etc.

Street smartness can also be developed from experiences; while this may be inevitable, experiences can be good or hard teacher.

Street smartness differs from book smartness, the latter being the knowledge obtained from books or study mostly measured by grades.

Here are ten ways to Raise Street Smart Teens:

Let your teens be clear on their identity and boundaries.

The ‘streets’ would test and push your teen. They may already be experiencing this while interacting with their peers, and for them to stand their own, they first must be clear on their values and boundaries, which largely defines them. This highlights the role of the home, which is to instil values, faith and character, which will ground your teen and serve as their compass.

2. Your teen has to be knowledgeable:

Raising a naive teen is a no-no.

To be on the ‘street’, you need to know what happens on the streets. Your teenager cannot live in a society he or she isn’t conversant with. Information can be found on the news, movies, books and during conversations with adults in their lives.

3. Be conversant on your teen’s personality, character and temperament:

Your teen’s innate personality, character or temperament can tell you how they’ll respond to situations. Your goal will be to help them balance these with the necessary skills. E.g. a passive and laidback teen can be taught communication and assertive skills.

4. Identify life skills making you thrive in the real world- relationships, career or workplace:

As a parent living in the real world now, what skills are helping you navigate the workplace, relationship or your business? Ensuring your teens have these skills is a great way to start raising street smart teens.

In addition, soft skills like emotional intelligence, critical thinking, work ethics, and adaptability are fundamental in the real world today.

5. Expose, then handhold your child through pseudo or real-life situations:

Many parents can be overprotective of their teens, but preventing them from trying out new things would take away the experience of learning and practising critical life skills. Don’t be too quick to save or prevent your child from life experiences such as hunger, being stranded, speaking up for themselves if confronted or cheated. Instead, allow them to stretch, engage their minds and develop adaptive abilities. Truth be told, there are certain skill sets that can only be groomed through these situations.

6. Give clear instructions on how to navigate real-life situations:

Giving clear instructions on HOW is an easy way to start navigating the ‘streets’. This could mean providing clear steps on how to get a task or activity done. E.g. Giving clear dos, don’ts and whys when your teen starts cooking, their first trip out of the house, how to board a public bus, how to engage or communicate with a stranger, etc.

7. Encourage ‘on your feet’ thinking with your teen:

As your children grow, avoid spoon-feeding them. Instead, encourage them to ask questions but also let them think about possible answers or solutions. This will grow their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities. When watching movies or having conversations, ask them, “what will you do differently” and be patient to let them think through and give their answers.

8. Engage your teen in activities that help them find themselves:

Discovery and Growth happen in the place of doing. Activities and engagements that improve and support teenagers should be encouraged by parents.

Skills camp, Sports, Internship opportunities, Personality tests, group study, individual counselling, etc should be done frequently to help teenagers find themselves.

9. Engage a mentor:

The role of a mentor cannot be overemphasized. Career mentors, academic mentors, and life coaches are necessary for raising Street smart teenagers. Mentors provide teens with fresh and holistic perspectives which engages your teen’s mind and broaden their perspectives. They also reinforce values parents already share with their teens. These reinforcements go a long long way in strengthening values and character.

10. Sign Up for community or life skills programs like SBGH:

One of the programs that help raise street smart teenagers is our newly launched Girls Hub-Shine Bright Girls Hub, a membership-based community for teen girls between ages 12–18. They access all the conversations, tools and resources they need to grow into thriving women such as life skills and soft skills education, mentor sessions, and community engagements. Find more information about us on girlshub.brightergirls.org

Meet Adefolashade

Adefolashade Fadeyi is a Personal Development Expert for Teens. She is a US certified Girl Empowerment Coach, a trained Youth Mentir and a member of the Women Empowering Girls Network (WEGN) in Dallas.

Adefolashade is the also the founder of Brighter Girls Life Initiative and the coordinator of the Shine Bright Girls Hub.

Please find more information of the online community — girlshub.brightergirls.org or on Instagram @brightergirls BRIGHTER GIRLS LIFE INITIATIVE