Please, Stop Complimenting People On Their Weight Loss
By: Kelsey Kryger
Tags: Fitness, Health, Weight Loss, Body Image, Mental Health

Trigger for Past Body Image Issues

When I was 7 years old, my pediatrician weighed me and told me that we needed to lose some of the fat in my chubby legs. When I was 8, a close friend humiliated me by telling me I was fat in the hallways of my elementary school.

By the time I was 10, my body image was completely shot — and it manifested even further once I got to high school. That was a dark time for me. I felt fat, so obviously I had to do something to fix that. I put myself on 1000 calorie per day diets and kept food journals. I struggled with a constant cycle of binge eating and starving myself, combined with excessively working out.

Unfortunately, I’m not the only young female that fell victim to body image issues. In fact, it’s typically the norm. Weight loss comments can be a trigger for past body image issues — even if they are made with positive intent.

Reinforces Societal Norms & Toxic Diet Culture

Weight loss compliments reinforce the toxic societal norms that smaller is better. Not to mention, weight loss comments are essentially backhanded compliments fueled by body shaming.

When someone comments on their observation of “how skinny I’ve gotten,” the thought that rings in my mind is that a lot of us still maintain the idea that the smaller, the better.

Don’t get me wrong: we are moving away from these toxic societal norms and the prominent influence of diet culture. But, our conditioning doesn’t lie.

Even if you think you’re #BodyPositive, casting someone a weight loss compliment exposes any underlying fatphobia we still have. Remember that.

Prioritizes the Value of Physical Appearance

Like I mentioned earlier, initial weight loss comments made me feel good. It let me know that my hard work was paying off. But as I lost more weight, the compliments continued to flood in and became more and more toxic.

Seriously. Someone actually said to me the other day, “I didn’t realize you were like, fat before.”

Someone else said, “Wow, you’ve basically disappeared since the last time I saw you.” Comments like these show me just how much we prioritize physical appearance. Seriously. We can’t stop paying attention or observing what people look like.

Can’t we prioritize complimenting our friends on their intelligence? On the way they communicate? On how they’re working hard on themselves, unapologetically?

It’s Uncomfortable, and Not Your Business

Honestly, weight loss comments can make the receiver downright uncomfortable.

Some people have genuine intentions, like those that are closest to you. But what about an acquaintance? Or perhaps, an old friend that you haven’t seen in a while? I don’t know about you, but it makes me feel strange to think that a surface-level stranger is examining me like that.

Not to mention, you never know what someone is going through. Perhaps the person you’re complimenting is struggling with depression or an eating disorder. I don’t think they’re going to be receptive to a weight-loss compliment as a result of their struggles, and in some cases — it could make the situation worse.