The Poem That Inspired Me to Take Ownership of My Life
By: Kelsey Kryger
Tags: Self Improvement, Personal Growth, Poetry, Personal Development, Wellness

The Poem That Inspired Me to Take Ownership of My Life

Maybe it will help you, too

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Most of my life has been spent in a constant spiral of self-sabotaging behaviors: people-pleasing, overworking, neglecting my needs, indulging in gluttonous behaviors…

…the list goes on.

I spent 12 years competitively playing a sport, worried more about what my family of athletes would have to say about my level of performance after a game than actually having fun with it. I went to college and graduated with a degree (and some nice student loans) that I had little to no interest in — all for the sake of making money and “climbing the ladder.” I went to the hospital for alcohol poisoning on Halloween one year, and still sometimes continue to drink to the point of hangovers. I stayed in a toxic friendship that took a severe toll on my mental health, all because I was afraid of speaking my truth & addressing my needs.

Acting as a part of society’s play never works. This, I soon realized after graduating from college.

Up until then, I thought I had done it all right. Always working and striving towards achievements, money, success — what I thought was happiness. Spreading myself thin with jobs/internships/extracurriculars, being “friends” with a bunch of people, always pushing myself in the name of my competitive nature — what I thought would help me “climb to the top” one day.

Society, conditioning, our families, and schooling shows us the worldly expectation of how we’re supposed to live but fails to ask us how we actually want to spend our time on Earth.

One day, I found this incredible poem — The Man in the Glass — and it changed my life forever:

When you get what you want in your struggle for self

And the world makes you king for a day

Just go to the mirror and look at yourself

And see what that man has to say. For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife

Whose judgment upon you must pass

The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life

Is the one staring back from the glass. He’s the fellow to please — never mind all the rest

For he’s with you, clear to the end

And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test

If the man in the glass is your friend. You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years

And get pats on the back as you pass

But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

When I read this poem for the first time, it became extremely evident as to why I was so unhappy:

I wasn’t happy with the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I was living to check off the boxes and climb the invisible ladder to a life that I didn’t actually choose — nor want — for myself.

And for the first time after reading this poem, I dared to ask myself:

What is it that you actually want?

What goals do you want to chase? What do you actually like to do for fun? What are the qualities of the people you want to surround yourself with? What’s your definition of success? When do you feel most fulfilled? What are you most passionate about?

So I ask you — what do you actually want?

You only get one life. Are you going to live it for them, or are you going to be brave enough to live it for you?