“THE QUITTING GAME OF LOVE”
By: Anisha Pillai
Tags: Marriage, Breakups, Relationships, Couples, Love And Sex

P.S : This post is to raise positive hope for all those friends who are finding it difficult to cope with a Relationship Pressure and thinking to call “I Quit”.

The basic construct of humans is such that it has the generosity to automatically deviate towards Laws of Attraction. It doesn’t matter how much calculated and pre-determined you are ahead of your times; the nature calls upon those unsuspecting. Be it blossoming femininity or a rock-solid masculinity, every soul finds its course gradually and clinking together in no matter of time. It doesn’t necessarily mean a biological connection but also every foundation of a human-to-human interaction is simply the construct of brain. As simple this sounds, greater dynamism is there in these words. And that dynamism is called “LOVE”.

And everybody, when in love, you are dripping love, oozing love, feeling love, dreaming love and eating love. I was 24, when I got hitched for life. We both were young and naïve. While taking vows, we thought the world seems easier by being together. Quiet willfully, I must say, we were definitely reflecting passionate love and perpetual optimism.

Love, at those times came easily. You needn’t do the left or right swipes or spend hours on an app to find you a soulmate that the digitalized machine thinks are perfect for you. Back then, The churning butterflies in the stomach, the shiny stars in the eyes and all those chocolates and stolen kisses made life seem very easy.

It’s been 7 years together, and I learnt that love isn’t about chocolates or the flowers. It’s all about “Us”. The belief in ourselves, the hardships we fought together and the constant appreciation we have for each other is what kept us together. We have our own share of disapprovals. Constant appreciation doesn’t mean we have an aligned opinion every time, rather I strongly favor partners who hold their own stand of opinions yet respect the disapproval. He believed in me in my toughest times and I appreciate his presence in my life throughout our hardships and that I believe helps to think “we need each other”.

A relationship needs lot of patience, appreciations, compromises, friendship, identity, moments and priorities to be stable enough to experience love and warmth every single day. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a marriage or a live-in relationship, or your bond with your pet, whatsoever it is, you can never visualize the next 10, 20…50 years of yourself. So, the next time you think “this one is for me with whom I can spend the rest of my life with”, you are wrong. It’s true, I am stunned by the tremendous increase in couples including some of my friends, calling it quits, so quickly. Of course, the legitimate reasons of abuse and violence shouldn’t be tolerated but the mere reasons I hear often around me is “why should I listen…?” “how dare he/she…?” etcetera ….

Social media has encouraged liberalism of minds of young adults. They are now making decisions on their own and frankly, they lack maturity. Grass is never greener on other side as it seems to be on media. Life has turned to a game of show offs, getting publicity, attaining freedom of expressions, egoistic approach to criticism, and a platform of digging graves for people who raise genuine concerns. Don’t learn everything the social media is offering you.

I fell in love with my partner, because he makes me feel wanted. We are best friends first, thus our friendship lasts longer than our lusts. We made space for humor, that makes my child happier. We make our every dinner, a date to remember. We try to align on same financial priorities, that saves us time to talk about it. We enjoy each other’s company while respecting the spaces we need. All this while keeping in mind, “We don’t see the next 10, 20 years ahead, but all we see is Today and we can build it”.