Weight Training
By: Roughly Ru
Tags: Mental Health Awareness, Weight Loss, Strength Training, Fittness, Mental Health

Summer 2018 vs Summer 2020

I grew up being skinny, but never ate healthily. I put on a little weight in junior high but never a lot. I ran track and played tennis in High School and obsessed about my weight and food. In my late 20s I ran more, completed my first ½ marathon and was rather trim. At 29 I went back to school to get my master’s degree, while working full time. I basically stopped cooking for myself. I worked all day, went to class, then came home and ate half a pizza while doing homework (I ate the other ½ for lunch the next day). I stopped running; I didn’t have time for it even though I enjoyed it and felt better doing it. In the two years I was in school I’d put on 40 pounds. Being very depressed about gaining all that weight, and then moving to a new state, struggling to find a job in my field, and dealing with mental health (and so much more) I put on another 40 pounds in the next two years from graduation. I was miserable. And unhealthy. I had high blood pressure and so forth. While I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life next I started making friends with these amazing women, a little younger than myself, that were all super fit. They did yoga and spin classes regularly and it inspired me to try and get back into shape. But I struggled to keep up in a class and therefore make it routine. I felt frustrated and embarrassed by my weight and inability to get through a workout.

Through work I met a gym owner and trainer who is incredibly understanding and made me feel at ease (even though I was actually dying in his bootcamp class). Because I was embarrassed to workout in large classes I started doing small group strength training with him twice a week and it changed my life! At first I felt awkward and vulnerable trying new moves, failing at keeping up, and struggling to just make it through the hour. The small group is myself and a few other guys who championed me on and inspired me to keep going. I worried I held them back in sessions because I had to be shown how to do every move but they showed me only kindness and acceptance. Slowly I began to feel better, have more energy, and get stronger! After a few months of training I started doing spin or running regularly and threw in a little bit of yoga and boxing. I went from 4 years without working out to working out 4–6 times a week. I lost more than half of the weight I’d gain and became much physically stronger and fit!

Summer 2020

I had forgotten how good working out made me feel. I began to have better days, better moods, and feel more energized overall. I had become so disconnected from my body that I didn’t even realize how my physical health was impacting my mental health. But thanks to that amazing trainer (and gym buddies) I started working out regularly and made huge progress on both fronts. It was intimidating at first to jump back into fitness. But with encouragement, and understanding I was able to force myself to stick with it and make it part of my routine. I am proud of the accomplishments that I’ve done at the gym (headstands, push ups, kettlebell swings). I now set goals and work hard to make them a reality, all with the help and support from group of course!

Getting a trainer isn’t an option for everyone (work paid for mine for the first year) but there are tons of free online classes, or apps available to help at a low cost.

I’ve been thin and unhealthy, I’ve been overweight and unhealthy but now I’m working on strength and healthier. My size or weight does matter to me (I can be vain) but I’m focusing on being strong, being able to do a bootcamp and feel energized after it. I’m focusing on using food to fuel me and help me feel better (to be fair there still is a little obsessing but I’m trying to look at the big picture of my overall health and not emotional eating to fill a void that pizza can not actually satisfy).

I still have lots I want to work on for fitness goals (I need to work on my push ups and pull ups) and I want to run faster and train harder (more hills and intervals) but I’ve made an extreme amount of headway with my physical health and it helps me with my mental illness tenfold. I have much better days with my moods and anxiety on the days I work out. The guys I train with support me more than I could have ever asked for or knew I needed. It takes a lot to get me up and sweating but I feel so accomplished afterwards. I know if I can just roll out of bed and get myself into a sports bra then I can do this. Of course there are mornings where I just can’t, and that hurts me tenfold. I feel guilty and I miss out on those endorphins; but I try and remember that I’m going through a lot and I’ll go next time.

I can’t speak highly enough for getting out there and moving. Hiking is a huge passion of mine and I love being out in nature. (I also think being in nature helps with depression and anxiety. Part of why I moved up from the city was to have more access to nature). Even just taking a short walk or gentle stretching helps. For me, I’m an intense person, and very all or nothing, so if I workout it’s going to be full in, and if I don’t work out, I don’t move. On days I’m depressed in bed I know just going out for fresh air in my backyard would help but it’s so hard to get up. And I know I don’t have to run 10 miles to feel better, I just have to move a bit. Even small movements or brisk walks would help immensely.

So I’m going to go move- do a little stretching- and feel a little better! I hope you do too!!