The Best-Worst Fantasy Someone Sent Me
By: Ena Dahl
Tags: This Happened To Me, Writing Tips, Short Story, Sex, Sex Tips

Footnotes and comments

[1] A decent setup, but permission to what?

[2] #freethepussy (LOL)

[3] Ok, so far, so good!

[4] Not sure about this, but ok, I get it, you’re asserting your dominance, and being a bit of a tease — all though, I prefer being told what’s happening, not what ‘may-be’ happening.

[5] Wait, what? First, who calls it a wifebeater? Secondly, wearing just a singlet and nothing else is just as bad as wearing just socks…maybe even worse.

[6] I’m confused — You seem confused! First, you assert dominance, then you retract it. Be the author of this scenario and just pull my goddamn hair, and let it be assumed that we’ve already established boundaries beforehand.

[7] Thank you, that’s very generous of you! I was maybe having the munchies after that maybe-hit from that joint.

[8] Tit-spanking isn’t really my thing, but I suppose you can’t know that, so I’ll let it pass. But what the hell is up with the dick-spanking? The image of you, naked, wearing only a “wifebeater” swinging your dick around like a whip is something out of a nightmare. Stop it!

[9] I’m confused about the story arch. What was the point of tying me to a chair in the first place? This stuff takes time and patience, from both sides, so if you plan on tying someone up, do something with it. You didn’t explore this concept enough that it was worth mentioning in the first place.

[10] Please, be more specific. I’m talking dirty? You’re the author here, tell me what I’m saying.

[11] Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. Again, this is your story and you decide what happens. Make up your mind and be assertive.

[12] See above. Whether or not I’m in the mood is up to you. This is too vague, I’m lost.

[13] If you say ‘maybe’ one more time, I’ll scream!

And you tie me up again? Are you sure? I hope you do something sensible with it this time.

[14] Seriously, what is UP with this dick spanking? Is it some porn-thing I’m not familiar with? I’m so turned off by this visual, I can’t even…

[15] Even though I do like spanking and even light degradation, but a full-body spanking — with your dick — while calling me your bitch? I don’t know…

You didn’t build up to this, so the whole thing feels out of place. If I wasn’t (maybe) tied up, I’d run for my life!

[16] How do you pretend to fuck someone? I’m so confused!

[17] Drop the ‘as you like it’ part. This is your fantasy, and in real life we’d discuss limits before.

[18] I see. We’re attempting a bit of 69-action. I’m concerned about how this works when I’m (maybe) tied up. But then again, perhaps I’m not. Who knows?

[19] This is such a copout. Don’t be lazy. Describe the ‘extra kinky shit’. I’m your reader, not your mind reader.

[20] Ok, I give up… [eyeroll]

[21] Hold up! You’re tying me some more? Wasn’t I already (maybe) tied up? You have no clue what you’re doing with ropes, do you?

[22] And how is that?

[23] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!! (I told you I’d scream.)

[24] Wait! I didn’t cum though. Or maybe I did, when you maybe licked me before.

I’m not sure and I don’t care anymore. I’m just really glad this whole thing is over.

[25] Nope, we don’t! There’ll be no cuddling and definitely no ‘round 2’. I’m absolutely mortified and I need time to process all of this. Now, hand me that wine and get outta here!