The Modern Martyr
Tags: Motherhood, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Martyrdom

Mothers are living martyrs, and let me tell you why.

Motherhood is a vocation. A vocation is much more than the sum of your passions but rather your path to fulfillment. It’s a divine calling. I have had many vocations throughout my life as a family member, friend, student, musician, dancer, employee, wife, and now a mother. Each of these has had its own requirements. Motherhood is the most unique. At the very least, one’s vocation requires suffering and sacrifice. Every mother I’ve ever met is well-acquainted with both. And I am wholeheartedly confirming this as a new mother myself. Not a day goes by that I don’t experience some sort of suffering and make at least a dozen sacrifices in ways that my husband never could. It’s just the nature of the beast — or should I say, the nature of my vocation. Mandi Richards describes her motherly vocation as “less of a road to happiness than a road to suffering” that will ultimately bring her closer to God. I’d like to unpack that a little for those of us feeling uncomfortable.

For starters, my little man is the greatest gift that I’ve ever received, and honestly, I’ve never been happier. I’ve also N-E-V-E-R been tested so severely. Almost all of the vocations I mentioned above did call me out of my self to serve others, but nothing on this earth can parallel the demands of giving and sustaining human life. From pregnancy, to labor and delivery, to postpartum and beyond, my entire life is inextricably connected to his. Every moment of the day (or night) is a moment spent modeling, playing, singing, and dancing. Nursing, nursing, and nursing some more. Worrying about his current well-being and his not-so-distant future. I am dying to my ‘self’ in ways that only a mother can. I am offering my mind, body, and spirit for the good of another. But ultimately, I am doing these things for the One that breathed life into each one of us.

“Whatever you do for your family, your children, your husband, your wife, you do for God. All we do, our prayers, our work, our suffering, is for Jesus.” — St. Teresa of Calcutta

St. Teresa, known the world over as Mother Teresa, had no children of her own; but she embodied motherhood in a way that most of us never will. She was a spiritual mother for thousands, who offered up those daily sacrifices and moments of suffering in order to communicate the love of God to every soul she met. She offered a home for orphans and love for the neglected and gave of herself until her dying breath. But more than anything, she found the joys of suffering for the sake of the greater good. Her commitment to others is the pinnacle of human selflessness, but moms, we’re right there with her. Before you go telling your friends that I just compared myself to the Mother Teresa, let me rephrase: I am selfless in my own way. I sacrifice personal time, time with my husband, and uninterrupted sleep. I offer my body in its entirety for the care and nourishment of my child. All mothers make sacrifices. All mothers endure suffering. So none of this makes me special.

I just think that we need to acknowledge our contributions in a society that may not always see the inherent value in what we do.

Don’t resent your vocation and your call to this modern martyrdom. It’s hard, and it can be so lonely. But it is such a blessing. The Catechism reminds us that children “contribute to the growth in holiness of their parents.” This is your journey to sainthood, sister. Just know I’m in solidarity.