I’m Booking A 6-Day Vacation This Summer
By: Shannon Ashley
Tags: Motherhood, Lifestyle, Work, Parenting, Writing

Work-life balance is an enormous struggle for me. To one extent, I have made peace with the fact that I never have been good at balancing anything and I don't expect to ever become some multitasking maven.

Yet, as a single mom who works from home by writing online, I can't exactly ignore the quest for balance either. Instead, I'm trying to be realistic about where I'm currently at and where I want to be.

Case in point? A couple of weeks ago, I took a mini vacation and secluded myself in a hotel for 2 nights. During my break, I took advantage of doing nothing but relaxing and I didn't write a thing.

There was a very good book I began reading in the spa called The Power of Off, and I ordered myself a copy. I was so inspired to return home with a better focus on work-life balance... yet I haven't even taken the book out of the envelope it arrived in.

I came home resolved to work less and balance better, yet I still haven't even opened the book about balance to finish reading it.

There are countless occasions where I simply don't do the work it takes to achieve whatever results I want. Why? Because every goal requires some amount of sacrifice, and that's not always something I'm willing to do.

Balance doesn't magically happen because we decide we want it. We actually have to work to make it happen. That's kind of a bummer. I don't know about you, but my natural state of being is pretty much as imbalanced as one gets: stay up late working, wake up too early to work some more, forget about self-care, and put off housework.

It's not healthy, but it is my natural inclination. However, it's also up to me (alone) to find a way to earn a good living and raise a great kid. And part of that means giving us each some downtime.

My little vacation was brief, but it showed me how much I want to get away more often and give my daughter the same opportunity.

As it happens, my brief stay in the Waldorf Astoria left something to be desired. There were a few issues... like finding a cockroach in my room (twice), having a spa treatment canceled because the therapist didn't show up, and getting charged for using the private bar for a bottle of champagne I never took.

For my very first experience in a 5-star hotel, those problems made a dent in the overall experience. Not that the staff wasn't extremely apologetic. They were, but it simply wasn't enough to resolve those issues right then and there.

But I've been emailing with the hotel manager who assures me that my next stay will be dramatically better.

And I'm willing to try, particularly since the Waldorf Astoria has offered us a free night and my next spa service on the house.

To that end, I'm planning a 6-day vacation for my daughter and myself at the same hotel in early July. And honestly? I'm scared as hell about it.

Six straight days without working. Six straight days not making money... But spending it.

Shiver.

It's hard to put my finger on the real reason taking a vacation scares me. But I suppose it's tied up with a ton of guilt. I feel guilty about spending money on experiences because I grew up dirt poor. Spending money on vacations definitely isn't something that poor people do.

And downtime? That's honestly not something I do anymore. Not since I began relying upon my own writing to support me and my kid. Before I began working on my own writing career, I used to have downtime when my social media work was done. In between caring for my daughter, of course.

I used to watch TV. And play games on my phone. I used to just veg. I even used to make more time for dating.

But once I realized I could actually earn a living with my own writing, it was like a fire was lit within me. When it comes to writing these days, I feel like I can't stop/won't stop until...

Well now, I'm not exactly sure.

How are you supposed to know when to slow down or take a break as you try to build your own writing career?

When do you think, "I've arrived?" Or how about, "I can relax?"

I've been working on this writing gig for a year and I quit my job only 5 months ago. I work excessively as much as I can because 1.) I believe it will pay off in the end, and 2.) I'm pretty sure I need to work hard in expectation of the more meager months. That's pretty damn important anytime you have an unpredictable source of income.

The good news is that I can even plan a vacation at all. I'm lucky that my work is flexible enough to allow me to take it anywhere. I am fortunate to choose my vacation days, even if I'm terrible about actually taking time off.

Ultimately, it's an opportunity for me to get better with balance. And to practice perspective. Taking the vacation means spending money that could have stayed in my savings account. And it means pausing some of my progress as an online writer.

That's its own sort of sacrifice but in return? I gain quality time with my daughter, new experiences and memories, and more. It's an opportunity to live in the moment, have fun, and take a time out.

Sure, I'll still be on mom duty. My daughter and I will be busy at LEGOLAND and The World of Coca-Cola. Frankly, Atlanta is filled with museums, so we'll have tons to do and it will probably be pretty exhausting.

But I think it will be a good kind of exhaustion. And I do plan to visit that spa while my daughter is with a sitter.

At any rate, it will be a new experience and something that will ultimately make me proud to have accomplished as a single mom. That might just be enough reason to toss out the guilt, don't you think?