As a Sex Worker, I Feel Compassion for My Clients’ Wives
By: Mysterious Witt
Tags: Relationships, Sexuality, Marriage, Sex Work, Men

As a Sex Worker, I Feel Compassion for My Clients’ Wives

Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

I’m writing about my feelings toward my clients’ wives, not because I believe a lot of people will agree with me. I know that many would prefer to assume that just because I’m an escort who has sex with married men, I must hate my clients’ wives. Nothing could be further from the truth. I not only don’t hate the wives and girlfriends of my clients but I respect them. Most importantly, I refuse to become involved in any play that belittles them.

Having been married myself, I understand how difficult marriage is. I feel compassion toward my clients about the difficulties of marriage. But I also feel sympathy for the wives and girlfriends of these men who for, whatever reason, have become disinterested in sex. Yes, this is the most frequent reason married men book me for sex — because their wives no longer want to have sex with them.

As a woman, I feel it’s my duty to do as little damage as possible to my clients’ partners. I mean no harm towards them, even if my job is having sex with their husbands. I know it may be hard for a lot of people to understand this. Not everyone will agree with what I have to say here. That’s okay. I’m not here to get a pat on the back from my readers. I’m here to tell the truth.

Here it is:

Is it cheating if my clients no longer have sex with their wives?

Many people may still ask how I can say I’m not hurting my clients’ wives if I’m sleeping with their husbands behind their backs. I would respond with my own question: is it cheating if these women no longer want to have sex with their husbands?

I think it’s important to remember that many of my clients are in sexless marriages. They don’t come to me because they have healthy sex lives with their wives but because they no longer have sex with them. Their relationship may not even be romantic anymore. My clients stay married to their wives just for the kids. Their wives feel the same way about them.

So am I facilitating my clients’ cheating or simply helping them to satisfy a need their wives no longer want to take part in? Further, a lot of my clients have fetishes that their wives have no interest in carrying out with them. Some of these fetishes would even disgust my clients’ wives if they knew about them.

Take the man who enjoys being urinated on or the one who wants to be being anally penetrated with a strap-on. Many women would be disgusted even to know their husbands are into this.

So I partake in this fetish with a woman’s husband — what’s the harm? He has this sexual proclivity. It’s an itch that needs to be scratched. If I scratch it for him, he can go back to his wife, a calmer, happier man.

Is this hurting his wife? I don’t think so. In a way, I’m helping a marriage, seeing the circumstances.

If I discuss my clients’ wives in session, it’s only to say good things about them.

One hard limit I have is to never badmouth my clients’ wives or girlfriends in session. I only ever say good things about these women. Most of my clients aren’t interested in badmouthing their wives anyway. If anything, they talk up their wives to me in session.

Take my client David who books me once a month for sex. He loves to show me photos of his wife. When he does, I always comment on how beautiful she is.

She is beautiful. I’m sure she’s a really nice person as well. The only reason David comes to me for sex is because he rarely has sex with his wife.

I respect David’s wife as his partner as I do all my clients’ wives and girlfriends.

I don’t include my clients’ wives in our verbal humiliation sessions.

That said, I’ve also learned never to bring up my clients’ wives when I’m verbally humiliating them. I did this once when I was playing with a client named Andrew. He’s a submissive with a small-penis-humiliation fetish.

“Your wife is probably cheating on you with a guy with a bigger dick,” I told Andrew during our session.

“Can we not talk about my wife,” Andrew said, breaking out of role.

I agreed to his limits immediately. Afterward, I even made it my own rule never to bring up my clients’ wives in session, even when I felt like mentioning them fit the scene. These women aren’t involved in this part of my clients’ lives. My clients have their lives with me and their lives at home. I make sure never to mix the two.

I keep discussion of my clients’ wives out of our play altogether. This is how I show respect.

My clients with “homewrecker” fantasies.

One of the most disturbing things I’ve ever had a man ask me to do to him is to ruin his life. Yes, some men actually derive sexual gratification in “homewrecking” fantasies.

Men with this fetish want to have their bank accounts emptied by a dominant woman. They want to be threatened to be outed as “perverts” to their wives and even to their work colleagues. They want to lose everything.

They engage in this fantasy by sending me incriminating photos of themselves dressed in women’s clothing or giving another man a blowjob. They want me to hold these photos over them, warning them I’ll send the images to their wives and work colleagues if they don’t pay me money.

Trust me, some men get off on this type of blackmail.

Sometimes it gets to the point where they’re begging me to call their wives. They want me to tell their partners the truth about them — that they’re my slave. I know this doesn’t sound like a fetish anyone would enjoy but for a particular kind of submissive, it’s taboo and exciting.

The danger is the rush. However, I don’t like play that involves me doing hurtful things to a man’s wife and families. I see this as non-consensual play — and I don’t play that way.

I once made the mistake of carrying out such a scene when I was much younger with a client named Barry. He was a successful TV producer, who came to me for long sessions where he smoked crack for hours and had me take photos of him doing so. Then he wanted me to threaten to send these images to his wife.

I thought this was something he never actually wanted me to do — it was just a fantasy. But after seeing him several times for sessions, and having him beg every time we met for me to call his wife to tell her he was with me, I finally did. What a mistake. I called her and then felt terrible about it afterward.

I also didn’t block my caller ID when I phoned her in the middle of the night to tell her Barry was with me. I said this then hung up. Barry loved this, but you can imagine what happened afterward. His wife kept calling me back, even after Barry was long gone from the dungeon.

I learned my lesson from this awful experience and made sure never to make this mistake again. Barry could ruin his own life if he wanted to, but I didn’t want to involve his wife in his sick fetish.

The men who call me when their wives are in earshot.

Related to the client with the “homewrecking” fantasy is the man who contacts me when his wife is in the house with him. Maybe she’s in a different room. Still, she’s at home when he calls me.

Some men even want to sext with me while they’re in bed with their wives — without their wives knowing, of course. This typically happens when men contact me on my phone-sex line.

Again, there’s a taboo rush in feeling like one is about to be discovered by their partner doing something terrible. However, I don’t think this is a healthy fetish. It’s very disrespectful to the women these men are in relationships with.

I feel bad for the wives of such men. I feel sorry for them — that they’re married to men who would treat them this way.

Therefore, I refuse to engage in this sort of session. I simply can’t lower myself to be a part of it.

I feel bad for the wives of men who see escorts behind their backs for no good reason.

Though I’m an escort, I would never say that every client I’ve ever had sex with for money has a good reason for paying for my professional services. Some of my clients are sincerely selfish people. Often these are successful men who feel entitled by their wealth.

Take my client, Michael, who books me because he views himself as a “leader of the pack.” He’s a high-paid lawyer who drives a Jaguar and lives in a mansion, so he thinks he also deserves a harem of women — even though he’s married and still sexually active with his wife.

Should Michael be absolved of lying to his long-suffering wife, who believes he’s staying late at the office when he’s with escorts like me? No.

In this case, I literally feel bad for these men’s wives. I’ve started giving this type of client a wide berth. I’d rather not take their money. I view men like this as “bad energy” clients. When I session with them, their bad energy ultimately rubs off on me, and so I’ve had to draw lines and stop seeing them professionally.

I won’t session with men who chance harm to their wives by having unprotected sex with other men.

I’ve also set a hard limit to not play professionally with men who engage in reckless practices such as having unprotected sex with other men. Yes, believe it or not, I have clients who do this. These men are either bisexual or are into sex with other men as humiliation.

However, when they are married to women and tell me they are engaging in such unprotected sex, I take offense. This type of client is typically submissive and not interested in having sex with me. However, he might still be having sex with his wife.

My bone to pick isn’t that he has sex with other men, it’s that he doesn’t use protection when he does. The idea that he could bring home a sexually transmitted disease to his wife makes my stomach turn. I don’t want anything to do with this. Again, I feel sorry for the wives and girlfriends of such men.

I feel compassion for the wives of my clients who don’t want sex.

People might also believe I look down on the wives of my clients for no longer wanting to have sex with their husbands as if this is some kind of a character flaw. No — I empathize with these women. When I was married, I also went through a period when I lost my libido.

This happened after giving birth to my two children. Not only were my hormones out of balance, but I also felt completely “touched out” when my children were babies. I was constantly breastfeeding, constantly having a baby or toddler hanging on me. I couldn’t even take a shower or use the restroom alone. I was always holding a child in my arms, soothing them. Now my husband wanted me to soothe him too by having sex with him? I just couldn’t do it.

I know that my now ex-husband was watching a lot of porn during that era. I don’t blame him. I think that women sometimes don’t understand the way men express love; it’s physical. I’m not saying that women don’t like sex as much as men do, or that we don’t need sex as much. But I do think that women’s bodies go through changes that men’s bodies don’t.

Pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood. We sometimes lose interest in sex. It’s understandable. But I also respect how men would want to continue to have sex even as their wives’ interest flags.

And yet, I still feel compassion toward these women even as I have sex with their husbands. And when I do so, I try my best not to demean these women’s status as my clients’ partners.

Only I know how I truly feel.

Still, even after reading this, a lot of people will continue to believe that because I have sex with married men for money, I am by default disrespecting their wives and girlfriends. What I do for a living is offensive to many. The fact that I have sex for money is already taboo. That I do so with married men is viewed as obscene and harmful to my clients’ partners at home.

I’m not writing this in hopes that everyone will agree with my viewpoints. Only I know how I really feel about my clients’ wives and girlfriends. I can truthfully say I feel compassion and respect for these women.

When I encounter men who make bad choices or are deluded as to their sense of entitlement, if anything, I feel sympathy for their wives. This is the truth. Whether you agree with me or not, nobody can say I told a lie here.