A step by step guide to approaching MENTORSHIP
By: Students Personal Development Hub
Tags: Networking, Network, Mentorship, Guides And Tutorials

Most people misunderstand mentoring — Funbi certainly did. For the longest time,

he wanted a mentor but didn’t understand what it even meant to have one. Being in his penultimate year, he approached one of the speakers at the campus alumni

meet & greet with the university’s undergraduates, who he hoped would mentor

him… Long story cut short, it ended in premium tears.

Well, he thought mentoring

was all about him, more passive than active being that, he expected to be checked

on by Mr. Anderson always. In general, he had quite a good number of misconceptions about mentorship he needed to unlearn. Imagine if he had read

through this guide, (which you will be reading through in a bit)… Your guess is as

good as ours.

1. Know who you really want as a mentor:

Mere listening to Mr Anderson

deliver his speech at the alumni connect meet & greet, hoping he would get a mentor-mentee relationship going well for himself, wasn’t the way he should



have approached the situation. Instead, he should have had in mind who he



really wanted as a mentor and if Mr Anderson was the spec…

Don’t just find someone who has a job you want or a platform you desire.



Find someone like you, someone with a similar set of strengths and skills you want

to emulate. Otherwise, you’ll just end up frustrated.

Spend some time finding the right person. In fact, have several candidates before



committing to a single mentor.

2. Request for a bit of their time if they wouldn’t mind:

Don’t ask for the person to “be your mentor” right off the bat. That’s a big ask. Far

too big for the first one meeting (one big mistake which Funbi made… he could

have just complimented Mr Anderson for a job well done, and requested for a

the medium through which he could reach his prospective mentor, like an email or

LinkedIn username).



Rather, ask for a brief meeting, like a few minutes of their time to have a chat with

him or her. If you notice your prospective mentor is in a hurry, initiate getting in

touch politely, to have a chat. Either way, keep it short and simple during the

meet. Come with questions you’re prepared to ask, intelligent ones actually, but let



the conversation flow relationally.

3. Evaluate the fruit:

After the meeting or chat, ask yourself a few questions like; do I want to spend



more time with this person? Did he/she begin the meeting by encouraging or telling me what to do? Did I leave the meeting feeling better about myself? Was a connection made? If

not, feel free to let the relationship go and seek out someone else, instead.

If it went well, immediately put together a follow-up plan.

4. Follow up after the meeting:

This is not like dating. It’s okay to appear overly ambitious to an extent. You want

this person to know that you’re serious. It’s appropriate to follow up immediately, thanking your prospective mentor for

his/her time, then sending a thank you email a day after meeting the person offline.



You obviously will send a thank you message if you had the meet or a chat online.

This is also a good time to mention that you’d like to do it again. If your request is

accepted, offer to get something on the calendar.

Make sure it feels relaxed and not contrived. You’re still being vetted at this point.

5. Let the relationship evolve organically:

Sometimes, people place too high expectations on mentoring. You want to give it a

name because it gives you a sense of status and importance. But really it’s just a

relationship.



Mentoring is organic. It’s healthy to let it grow like any other relationship — over

time and based on mutual respect and trust.



Don’t force it, this will kill a potential mentoring relationship faster than anything.



Give it time; it needs to grow.

6. Press into the relationship:

Don’t wait for your mentor to initiate. Learn how to manage up. Persevere; Ask for

more of your mentor without demanding it. Take initiative too.



Like offering to help on a project he or she is currently working on, volunteering to

be involved in their future projects.

In summary, bring value to the table. Don’t go

into a mentorship relationship just to get something all the time. Come on, you

aren’t a parasite. It should be more of a symbiotic relationship.

7. Ask your mentor for feedback:

Feedback can be hard, but it’s good. As your relationship with your mentor



progresses, this will be the #1 way you grow. It will be a highlight for both parties.

While asking for feedback may initially feel weird, eventually, it will become



almost second-nature. You will find yourself thirsting for those words you used to

fear.



Similarly, a good mentor will treat these times with great care and sensitivity.

8. Commit to the process:

Never forget it’s a process which requires you putting in your best for the

relationship to bloom.



You can’t be mentored in the summer. That’s an internship. Mentoring takes real

time and work. And for it to be real, you have to commit to the

relationship. Come hell or high water, you’re going to make it work.

In conclusion, always remember that getting a mentor requires deliberate efforts.



We hope you learnt something from this piece… Till next time we come your way,



cheers to your continuous growth!