Law Of Attraction Guided Meditation
By: Rachael Ann Sand
Tags: Meditation, Satire, Self, Money Mindset, Humor

(Listen to this meditation read by an A.I. robot with a British accent)

Before we begin open your mind to receive this meditation, knowing no one can hypnotize you unless you let them.

Take a few moments to visualize the stacks of cash you desire in the depths of your soul.

Activate your senses. Smell, feel, and taste the difference between a silver coin and a hundred dollar bill.

When your intention is clear, get comfortable and close your eyes.

Breathe deeply and loudly. Imagine you’re pretending to sleep so the airplane passenger beside you will stop their incessant chatter.

Breathe in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth. Exhale as though you are exasperated by the pitiful amount of money in your bank account.

After thirty-three deep breaths, begin to visualize the amount of money you wish to manifest. Be specific.

Picture the number in digits. How many zeros does it have? Next ,picture the number in roman numerals, then in tally marks.

Is it cash, gold bullion or cryptocurrency?

Remember to keep breathing deeply, in and out, in and out. It is critical that you bring the breath if you want the universe to bring the money.

How will you spend the money? Picture in your mind’s eye what you will do and buy with the money. Again, be specific.

Will you buy your own island or travel to Saturn? The sky is not your limit — think big, think beyond the sky into a distant galaxy far, far away.

What will you eat and drink when you’re rolling in dough? Drool over rare delicacies you’ve only read about in Sci-fi novels. Taste the raspberry jam freshly squeezed from jellyfish. Salivate as you imagine sipping six hundred year old scotch.

Don’t limit yourself to what seems realistic. Create a new version of reality, one in which you are rich beyond measure.

Which celebrities will you take selfies with? Picture your perfect companions, right down to the number of hairs on their big toes. Specificity is key.

How many windows will your new home have? Who will you invite to your V.I.P. only pool parties? How many personal chefs will you hire to make kale and caviar smoothies on demand?

You can have it all with the ridiculous amount of money you’re manifesting with this magical meditation.

What color will your Tesla be? What will you say to Elon when he delivers it to your door along with three billion dollars worth of stock in Space X?

Keep going until your mindset is stronger than Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.

Once you are clear on what you want to do or buy with the money, begin to visualize the money flowing to you and appearing in your life.

Imagine you’re walking through a forest and all of the trees are covered in cash instead of leaves. You can pick as many twenty dollar bills as you can carry in your backpack. Give gratitude to the trees. They like hugs.

Imagine you open your front door and discover a giant box filled with hundred dollar bills. Pause for a moment of gratitude. Think about hugging the trees the box was made from.

Imagine you’re walking along the beach and every time a wave rolls in it leaves gold coins on the shore. Fill your basket with coins and give thanks to the water.

When you are clear on how the money will come to you the universe will listen. It’s important to know money may not come to you in the way you imagine, though. Be prepared for money to show up at any time, in any form.

Never step outside without an umbrella. Money may literally fall out of the sky if you are doing this meditation right. A sudden shower of shiny copper pennies could start raining down at any moment. Get your bucket ready.

An important part of staying in the flow is giving gratitude for any money coming your way. The pathetic paycheck you worked your ass off for, a sticky nickel under the couch cushion, a crumpled fiver in your winter coat pocket.

Be thankful and more money will flow to you.

Perhaps the most radical shift in your mindset is going to be feeling gratitude for your debt. If you have debt it means money was available when you wanted it and money will be there for you again and again.

Your credit card bills are proof you can get money whenever you want to buy a pair of shoes you can’t afford or travel to Maui and rent a beach house. Give thanks and more credit card debt will be in your future.

There are no limits to what you can manifest if you listen to this recording five times per day for seven years. Repeat as often as four times per hour if you’re really serious about manifesting wealth and achieving financial freedom.

I believe in your ability to become dirty, rotten, filthy, stinkin’ rich. Begin creating your beautiful bounty today.