I Support You, Forever President Trump
By: Carmen Ribecca
Tags: Thanksgiving, Supreme Court, Donald Trump, Election 2020, Morons

“Yes sir, we also see the cans on that broad. Very good, sir.”

With the results of the election still pending a decision by THE COURT, I want to offer my support and prayers for Donald John Trump, my FOREVER PRESIDENT.

I want you to know, sir, that WE are with you. You know, THE REAL AMERICANS: coal miners, farmers, fracking… guys, and Christian stay-at-home moms. We know who THE REAL winner of this election was and it wasn’t the bumbling rich guy with shady ties to hostile foreign governments and kids who are complete failures outside of trading on the family name. We lift up you up in our prayers, DADDY POTUS!

The other day, I accidentally saw some FAKE NEWS and it really upset me. It was on one of the screens at Buffalo Wild Wings where my entire extended family who all live in different households was dining in (party of 12 freedom-loving, fearless liberty enthusiasts, please!) On ScamNN, some PROPAGANDIST was saying that you’re losing every single lawsuit you’ve filed in only the states you lost. I couldn’t believe that was true because I had rallied my PRAYER WARRIORS to ask Jesus to open the hearts of those judges. I had to find the truth so I headed to Facebook and Parler to check and HALLELUJAH! You are still winning!

It’s true that all of your lawyers quit but they were GODLESS men who lacked FAITH, sir. You don’t need them. Eventually, the SUPREME COURT that Jesus delivered us will get the job done.

I just hope grandpa can hang in there to see your VICTORY. Just after the election, in which he insisted he vote in-person with no mask, he started having trouble breathing. He’s on ECMO now because the DEEP STATE doctors say he has COVID. But our pastor said it’s probably just a lung demon. The good news? He got moved up to #12 on the church’s prayer list, behind everyone else who got lung demons, too.

My whole family will be dedicating our Thanksgiving dinner to you. There will be 100 of us this year, mostly all flying in from the upper Midwest where the DEMOCRAT FEAR-MONGERS have succeeded in pushing the lie about the spread of the WUHAN FLU. Oh, the hospitals are overrun? WHY AREN’T THERE DEAD PEOPLE ON THE LAWN OUTSIDE THIS ER ENTRANCE?

We won’t cower to fear, but we also don’t have a lot of space. We’ll have to cram together to celebrate the day the pilgrims conquered America and the Holy Spirit gave them the constitution. We don’t even mind that dad accidentally painted all the windows shut last year. If it gets too stuffy, we’ll just crank up the A/C and put some fans around to get the air moving. After we eat, we’ll all go shopping because FREEDOM AIN’T FREE and we’re doing our part to stimulate the economy by buying zero-profit Chinese goods at Walmart. It’s a family tradition that we’re just not willing to break.

In closing, SIR, I want you to know that even if FAILING CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS decides to side with the ACTIVIST COMMUNISTS on the bench, MAGA will always support you and we are PREPARED. You know what I mean, right? It’s guns. I’m talking about shit-loads of guns. GOD BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS AMERICA. AND GOD BLESS GUNS.