Starting Over
Tags: LGBTQ, Fiction, Series, Transgender, Novel

Adobe Stock: Zhu Difeng

Julian thanked the Uber driver before slipping out of the SUV. He trotted across the soaked parking lot with his hood draped over his head. He held the door open for a woman and her young daughter before entering behind them. The store’s cool air smacked him in the face.

He hurried to pull the hood down before taking too many steps into the store. An old friend’s voice entered his head. Don’t give them any reason to be suspicious, he warned.

He pulled a cart away from the neat stack and headed straight for the men's clothing section. He leaned against the cart and slid his phone out of his pocket. A few taps later, Google popped up on the screen. He typed in, “What to wear for a job interview.”

After a short text conversation with a recruiter on LinkedIn, she told him he could come in for an interview and to email him a PDF copy of his resume. She’d already glanced over his LinkedIn information. A small startup had an opening on their networking team. Thankfully, he’d taken pictures of the small server he’d put together as a personal project before he had to sell the parts.

Google took him to Pinterest, and he scrolled for a couple of minutes for inspiration. Remy popped into his mind, so he told himself he’d grab a bone for him on his way out.

He browsed the section until he found a plain white button-up. He found his size, medium, and carefully draped it over the edge of the cart. His eyes landed on a navy blazer next. He glanced at his phone again. He wondered if it was too much blue. Pinterest showed him an outfit with a navy suit jacket, almost as if the phone knew what he was wondering.

He checked the price and winced to himself, but deep down he knew it was affordable compared to other places. He found one that looked close to his size and tried it on. He stood in front of the slender mirror and checked himself out.

His hand smoothed out the jacket as he turned in front of the mirror. He’d never owned a formal jacket before. The first jacket he grabbed was a bit big.

He spun around once more. It didn’t look like he was drowning in it, but it was longer than he liked. He admired how broad his shoulders looked and couldn’t help but smile at his flat chest.

A lady passed him, giving him a brief smile as she walked by. If she only knew what I had to go through to get this chest, he thought. He carefully slid the jacket off, put it back on the hanger, and hung it back up.

He grabbed one that looked a tad smaller and pulled it on. He stretched his arms out to straighten the sleeves. He stepped back up to the mirror. He nodded to himself and turned sideways.

This one fit almost perfectly. The sleeves were a bit too long, but otherwise, it matched his body. He didn’t want to take it off. He snapped a quick picture of himself in the mirror before draping the jacket on the cart.

Navy pants or khakis? He bit his bottom lip and gave his attention back to Pinterest. The outfit he was looking at had navy pants, so he opted for those and grabbed a 34 waist size. He didn’t have to try them on to know they’d be too long. He’d figure something out at home.

He didn’t even have to ask himself the next question, but his mind did anyway. Tie or no tie? Of course, he wanted a tie. He swung the corner with the cart and found the array of ties.

A slender, silky burgundy tie caught his eye immediately. His brow furrowed, and he glanced at the navy outfit once more. Two rows over held a striped navy one, but he didn’t like it as much. He shrugged to himself and grabbed the burgundy one. Might as well stand out a little.

His eyes landed on the matching pocket square. He knew he didn’t need one, but he wanted one. He shook the doubtful voice out of his mind and threw both in the cart.

He pushed the cart towards the small selection of men’s shoes and hoped they had something in his size. He found a somewhat cheap pair of dark brown oxfords and scanned the boxes for his size. Instead of a 7.5, he saw an 8.

He plopped down on the carpet part of the floor and tried them on. They were bigger than he’d like, but he didn’t think it was too noticeable. Putting everything side by side in the cart, he calculated his total before tax. He told himself it’d have to work.

Before he could escape the men’s section, he spotted the socks. Did he really need dress socks? He grabbed a pair just to be safe.

He grabbed Remy a bone, checked out, then treated himself to an iced coffee from the built-in Starbucks.

Outside, he pulled up the company’s page while he waited for his Uber driver to pull up. WiseDive was only a couple of years old. He studied the founder’s picture and tried to guess his age. The man looked young, so he guessed late twenties or early thirties.

His ride pulled up as he was reading the company’s mission statement. He slid the phone back in his pocket and made a mental note to do more research when he got back home. If Remy and he were going to keep eating, he’d need a steady job again.

He forced himself not to think about the last one. This is a new chapter, he reminded himself.