Almost 8 Months on The Medium
Tags: Cheating, Affairs, Year Review, 2021, Adultery

Almost 8 Months on The Medium

Goodbye 2020 and Hello 2021

Photo by 戴 宇扬 from Pexels

I started with my first story on May 10th of 2020. Cake Eaters of Adultery. It took a lot for me to put that first one out there on the internet for “everyone” to see and judge me.

It was pandemic, and I said, “Fuck it. It could all be over soon. I might as well speak my mind.”

What was I thinking? How could I give voice to this man I had encountered looking for an affair? I was no better. But the experience of saying EXACTLY what I felt was addictive.

I wrote:

That’s the affair I need. The kind where there isn’t a moment of doubt about how much you both want to be there. How many lies you are both willing to say for those few stolen hours of joy. How much pent up passion is spent.

Getting What I Need from an Affair was the next one.

I wrote:

“If I had you at home, we’d be busy every night,” my lover said. “If only.” We both know it’s never going to happen. We won’t leave our spouses. No matter how bad it is at home. The costs are too high. The road too steep. We can’t “just leave.” We can dream about a marriage where we both want the same things, but it isn’t going to happen. In fairytales, there’s a happy ending. In real life, we get compromises. We find what’s missing where we can.

I had endings and beginnings in this crazy year. I have learned to make peace with my choices. Lost old lovers and found a new man that I long to be with who accepts me just as I am.

Everything changes. That’s the only constant in life, right?

Over 45,000 views since I started. So many women and men wrote me, “You put into words what I haven’t read before.” “I applaud you.” “You keep it real.” “I feel every word you write.” “Love the way you bring your stories to life.”

The comments and highlights. The haters, too. They have fueled stories.

I wrote:

Even though the haters have tried. “You make me sick.” “I don’t want to hear your idiotic reasoning.” “Just leave. Get divorced.” And I may leave, sooner rather than later. Adultery is a rest stop on the cheating highway. Maybe I will grow a pair and own my misdeeds.

I was inspired to write from, “You’re a traitor and a cheater" comment made on one of my articles.

I wrote:

The trolls see the end action (infidelity) and not the years that led to it. It’s like a sound bite or a 30-second video taken out of context. I’ve lived the drunken tirades, the put-downs, the avoiding, the ignoring. I’m done with begging and pleading. I have enough body issues to launch 1,000 ships. I am done.

The Medium, my writing, my lovers, my husband, my family, my friends. It’s all part of who I am. I’m evolving with you, dear readers, right along with me for the ride.

Like my adulterous bestie, Teresa J Conway, wrote, “Adultery isn’t my niche or field of expertise so much as it’s become my life” in her article:

She wrote:

If someone reads my work before they consummate their affair, I know they will have the knowledge to make an informed decision, and that’s all I wanted.

No one was writing about adultery when I started writing years ago. Not in the way I wanted to read, of course. There were all “holier than thou” tomes about “saving your marriage” and hate-filled diatribes against the men who strayed.

Where were the cheating women?

I needed a voice for myself — a neglected middle-aged, highly sexual woman who wanted to stray. If only I could have read something, anything that made a difference — made me feel like I was less alone.

I wrote for me.

It’s not the money (which I don’t need) or the recognition (obsessive in its own way). It’s helping another woman or man on this path. Find their way with my words. Maybe think twice about adultery. Maybe plow ahead, joyfully.

Perhaps my words will stick in your head.

I dare to put it all out there.