How to Push Past Challenges
By: Mary Ann Lopez
Tags: Relationships, Life Lessons, Advice, Self Improvement, Self

How to Remain Tenacious in Challenging Times

Listen to Your Heart

When I was in high school, I had a vision and saw the life I wanted to live. The main outcome remains the same, the steps I’ve taken and imagined have changed.

When I reflect on the moments when I was at a crossroads and had to choose a course of action, it was my heart that helped me know how to act. When I am able to get very quiet, I can hear what my heart is telling me I should do.

In the book “The Alchemist”, which is by far one of my most favorite books, the character Santiago has a dream, and after some serendipitous situations, he starts on the path to achieving his goal. At times he gets sidetracked, but he keeps listening to his heart and what he knows to be true. Eventually, he trusts himself and his heart. And, he achieves his dream.

I have gotten sidetracked and I’ve lost my way many times. I’ve made mistakes; we all do. But, when I think about the really big changes I’ve made in my life, I made those decisions when I was listening deeply to what my heart was telling me to do.

Do not listen to your head!

In his book, The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer talks about the roommate inside our heads. We have a voice(s) in our head that will talk to us nonstop, and usually what it has to say is not uplifting or helpful. If we do not learn how to control our mind, (through meditation or mindfulness) it will control us.

Recently, after a failed interview and failing to secure a role I thought I wanted, I completely lost it for about a week. I was so upset and all I heard were the voices telling me how worthless I was.

Deep down in my heart, I knew it wasn’t true. You have to know IT ISN’T TRUE. This is when you go back, consider all you’ve been through and accomplished. Rather than listening to your head, trust your gut and your heart.

Find people who believe in you and support you

I’ve read a lot of mindset, motivation, and self-help books over the years and a few have been pivotal in helping me pursue big goals. Several like those already mentioned, have helped reframe how I once saw challenges. As I continue pursuing my big hairy audacious goals, I now view obstacles as opportunities.

One book I’ve found particularly helpful, is “You Are A Badass” by Jen Sincero. In it, Sincero says what I know to be true; sometimes those closest to us will not support our dreams.

When this happens, it’s critical to examine friendships and consider whether those people, who are part of our inner circle, are going to help propel us forward or hold us back. If it’s the latter it’s time to find new friends or create major boundaries.

If your family isn’t supportive or helpful, you need to limit their input in your life. For years I tried to people please and I listened to those who loved me and thought they were saving me from challenges, but they were in essence making me small and did not believe I could achieve my full potential. Now, I have a very small but supportive group of friends who are my cheerleaders. They help me survive those days, weeks, and months when nothing seems to go right.

Trust Yourself

Whenever I’ve had a major choice to make, I have asked friends' opinions, done the research and then, I’ve had to get quiet and choose what is best for me.

Sometimes those choices have seemed to be counterintuitive, but often the outcomes have presented me with opportunities to learn something about myself so I can take myself to the next level. I’ve had to learn patience, humility, and my own value.

Deep down in my soul, from the time I was a teen feeling nobody saw me as someone who could graduate college, I’ve had to trust myself. Only I know who I am and what I am able to accomplish. Nobody on Instagram, Facebook, or whatever else can do that for you. You have to pull that out of yourself.

Never, ever give up. Period.

Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Ain’t that the truth! During challenging times, there may be periods where nothing seems to go right. That is when you must reconnect with yourself and remember who you are, listen to your heart, find support in your friends, believe in yourself, and push ahead.

I once talked with someone who told me they didn’t have a vision for their future. I couldn’t comprehend it. If you don’t have a vision or a plan, where will you go? Not very far.

If you don’t have a vision, I suggest you sit down, close your eyes, think about what you love to do, what you’d want to do, how you see yourself in the future, and then make a plan because as Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”