Ten Things Addiction has Taught Me
By: Josef Cruz
Tags: Life Lessons, Addiction, Psychology, Self, Health

Ten Things Addiction has Taught Me

Something inside me sent a clear message: enough is enough

Photo by Michael Longmire on Unsplash

When I started my teenage years with my children, I never imagined it would end with their substance abuse and addiction. One of the things that are deceiving for parents is that if you experimented in high school or college and left it at that — experimentation — you expect that your children will as well.

Some parents may not be surprised if their kids try drinking and maybe even if they smoke marijuana, as they feel this is still within the range of normal teenage behavior. Everyone agrees that harder drugs are dangerous.

Many teens do try drinking and smoking pot and don’t become addicted. Our inner feeling and hope are that this is a temporary situation and it will pass as our children grow and mature.

Yet, this experimentation can become an issue because our kids are taking a risk. We have no way to predict whether our child will later become addicted to alcohol, marijuana, or any number of other drugs. I know, as a former parent of a teenager, this is one of the biggest challenges.

Did you ever experiment with drinking and drugs? I did. Many of us tried drinking during our teen years, and many of us have memories of occasionally overdoing it. We were not comfortable with how we felt the next day. It just didn’t feel right.

When I graduated from college, married, and started working, any experimentation with drugs and drinking to excess had no place in my life. Something inside me gave that clear message, that enough is enough. It is time to grow up and be responsible. I followed that inner voice. Call it maturity or the end of a rite of passage, but it was not difficult. I hardly remember the transition at all.

That is the difference between what alcoholics call “normal” people and people with addictive personalities. When you are an addict, there is no inner voice strong enough to let you know that it is time to stop. Your habit has taken over. You know deep down that your habit is unhealthy, but you have lost all control. That inner voice is never heard because the drug is the one who is now in control of your brain.

You cannot tell in advance if you will become addicted. It is true that some people are more at risk than others — if you have a family member with drug problems you may be at greater risk since addiction is about 50% genetics.

Prescription drug abuse is now the latest drug of choice. For your children, this drug may be the easiest of all to find. It is “legal” and can be found right at home in your medicine cabinet. Take a moment to lock up your medications. This is an overall good practice, but especially if you have teens living at home. It is a protection for them.

Where does that leave our kids? It leaves us all in the situation of understanding that when our kids drink and use drugs, this may be a phase, or it may be the start of their downhill slide into alcoholism or drug addiction that will turn into a battle for their life.

Addiction has taught me many things. Here are ten:

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. No one is immune and I am not alone with this disease. I never thought addiction could happen to our family, but it did. You cannot control anyone’s addiction. Addiction is a chronic, often relapsing brain disease that goes beyond the addict’s use of drugs. To help yourself and your child, you need to educate yourself about addiction. Let go of expectations. Worry or future tripping has no positive outcome. Addiction disconnects us from ourselves, others, our spirituality, and our life. Finding a quiet time each day to access your inner thoughts will bring you closer to peace and serenity. Al-Anon gave me the strength to carry on. Parents in this situation need support. We can support each other. Take the time for self-care to keep your body and your mind in a healthy state. The stigma of addiction holds us back from getting the help we may need, and from having addiction reach the same level of awareness as other worthy causes such as Breast Cancer or AIDS.

At the end of the day, addiction is the card that I have been dealt with. For some reason, it was meant to be part of my life. I’ve needed to accept and understand why this disease affected my family. With every experience, there is a lesson and usually a silver lining.

I would not wish this disease on you or any of your family members, but since I’ve already experienced it, I can say with all truthfulness, that although my life will never be the same, it is better for having had the experience. I have met some amazing people because of it, and I hope through my journey, I have become a better person. By educating yourself on the dangers of substance abuse and addiction, my hope is that your family will be spared this devastating disease.