A Perfectionist’s Confession: On Writing and Self Expectations
By: Marie Gamallo
Tags: Writing Prompt, Wellness, Writing Tips, Writing, Mental Health

A Perfectionist’s Confession: On Writing and Self Expectations

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

To publish or not? Wait, this needs more editing. The publication took longer than expected to accept my draft. Maybe they didn't like it, no I should withdraw it. Is this title good enough to make it go viral?

These are only but a few of the most frequent questions that lingered in my mind at the peak of my perfectionism in writing.

This was around the time when I thought I couldn’t make it in a platform that is 9 years old and boasts the portfolios of many credible senior writers that have succeeded and made a name for themselves. I was just into a couple of months in publishing when one of my articles went viral. It was pretty much unexpected.

Why is that?

I pretty much wrote that article at the height of my emotions (anger, embarrassment, disappointment, and sadness) and the draft of that article took only 40 minutes to write (minus proofreading, deep line editing, and other technicalities that needed to be done).

When everything was set, I did not hesitate to press that publish button without much thought as to how it would perform. What started as zero expectations blossomed into gripping excitement as the statistics began to pick up after a month it was distributed, with numbers slowly rising from the double digits, into the triple and peaking at the five-digit mark.

People reacted to it positively and with much enthusiasm. Their engagement was mind-blowing, where readers took the time to proactively write their thoughts on the matter. It was both touching, amazing, and I was on cloud nine.

When the hype finally calmed down, the aftermath left my pockets heavier but in turn, unexpectedly awoken a long sleeping monster residing at the back of my mind, perfectionism.

How to bounce back from success?

In my perspective, it is much easier to write about failure and later on succeeding rather than succeeding and continue to succeed more. The former has more depth to it, whereas the latter would sound more superficial.

Three months into the aftermath of what was a short-lived success has stripped me raw. I was left on days staring on the blank screen, simply at a loss for words. Nothing.

What should I write about now? Should I write something more personal? How can I replicate such success?

How to start again when perfection is your cutthroat enemy?

It took roughly two months for me to get some decent writing done after painstakingly feeling hopeless for days on repeat.

The first few paragraphs I did manage to churn out were a disaster, however, the next few ones managed to turn out decent enough to be shared with anyone interested. It took a lot of effort and some intensive rehabilitation to get back to the pace I once had.

So how did I manage?

Well, crazy as it sounds, I just merely applied practical strategies that are very reproducible and doable. The secret lies in persistent practice and consistency of habits that bore fruit to what I saw was a great change in me.

Start the day right and early.

It’s not as difficult as it sounds, but starting is a challenge. Waking up bright and early sets the perfect stage for productivity. Rising with a fresh mind leads to some groundbreaking ideas that were previously absent after a long’s day’s work.

A well-rested mind is the ideal breeding ground for creativity. Although it would vary from one person to another, where some might be night owls as compared to morning people such as myself, the key takeaway is knowing when you are most productive.

As an early bird, my routine after waking up and getting my bearings would be to reach out for my notebook strategically placed within’s arms reach. I write down concepts and random thoughts onto a pad so I would have a battery of inspirations that would, later on, be a helpful tool when writer’s block would yet again present itself.

Another primary driver that helps me stick to this practice was joining a writer’s group called Writer’s hour. This is a virtual writing sprint held every morning on weekdays. The best thing about this supporting community is that it is free to attend and boast of four sessions held at 8 am across four time zones.

For most people, the time where moments of inspiration would strike them at their peak would vary. However, having a structured routine and time enforces the necessary disciple in order to get things done.

It is not just in your mind, it is your total being.

When your mind is burned out, this, in turn, affects your whole system. It is like when a car runs out of fuel, it ceases to function.

Your mind — rather the brain, is the primary driver for the whole body to function. However, a determined mindset is more powerful and is capable of overcoming many hurdles that may come your way.

After a good writing session, I immediately schedule a good run and yoga to follow. Stumbling into Sara Beth, a very capable yoga teacher with 10 years of experience under her belt. she has taught me “to stretch, strengthen, tone, de-stress and leave everything on the mat”.

My daily practice with her is life-changing. It feels so good to let out some steam, shed some sweat, and let those endorphins out daily. Not only does this promote overall health and fitness, but it also gives you no holds barred access to your unfiltered thoughts and emotions during bouts of physical activity.

Practicing mindfulness through yoga or meditation also helps reset your tired and burnout self. By regularly living in the moment and letting go would result in you having a better perspective for life that can help you ease out of perfection.

Write, there is no other solution than writing.

When it comes to battling your inner demons, avoidance is never the answer. To gain success, regardless of what circumstance you are tied to, it is but best to face the situation head-on.

Don’t blame perfection for ruining it for you. Don’t blame time for being cruel. Most importantly, don’t blame the day for setting a bad tone for your writing. It is all on you.

Writing is the only way to get back to writing. Negate those horrible drafts that shouldn’t gain light to any reader and leave those insensible thoughts for your eyes only.

When you look at the process in retrospect, these “failures” are merely stepping stones to build you up for what has yet to come. That great article will come with practice and effort.

Writing again brought meaning back to writing, but what fueled this growth even more was the community around me. A practical option I stumbled into was Scribd, a digital subscription that gave access to all ebooks, audiobooks, articles, podcasts, sheet music, and documents I could ever need when going to bookstores seemed futile during the lockdown.

Another gem in the rough is Reedsyprompts, which boasts of weekly writing prompts that would help any writer get back on their feet. An add-on bonus is that they award their weekly winners $250 for their short story competition.

I have grown to love the novelty of modernizations, for it has allowed me to engage with other writers, read to get inspired, and write in response to prompts that trigger a burst of creativity.

Everything is now within an arm’s reach. It is just a matter of grabbing the opportunity and making the most out of it. Will you?

Final Thoughts

Success has many definitions that would vary depending on perception. It is up to you to give meaning to it, to strive for it, and to attain it. In the end, there is no perfect recipe for viral content, there is only a good mindset to achieve such.

As a recovering perfectionist, I still have a long way to go. Yet I have learned that it is better to look into the journey rather than the destination and to celebrate small milestones in life.

So press that publish button, there is bound to be at least one great person out there who will love your content!