the stage before college
Tags: Change, College, High School, Date, Life

So as a senior in high school I often find myself lost and confused. My heart says go out and live your life. Move out, live on your own, get a job, get drunk sometimes, and just live your best life. But my mind says “aren’t you scared to leave your sister alone?” “is it too expensive?” “aren’t you scared to leave this life?” and the answer to all of those is yes. Yes I’m gonna miss my sister, and I wish I could pack her with me and take her so she could be young, free and crazy. College is too expensive despite where I go. But it’s an investment in yourself. You’re investing in your education, your freedom, and your fun. These are the years you’ll never get back so spend them doing what you love. And the biggest question. Am I scared to leave high school? Yes. I am scared to leave my best friends. I am scared that we will all go our own ways and not stay in touch. I will never forget them or the crazy nights we’ve had but I may not share that with them anymore. That is beyond scary especially because they became my family. I’ve spent more time with them than I have my blood. I have had crazy, unforgettable nights with them. The nights that we got food, went to the beach then late at night drove down the highway blasting childhood throwbacks while screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs. Freeing our souls and creating memories I’ll tell my kids about whether they call my friends aunt or they are just a part of my past. High school will always be a wild time of my life. But it isn’t everything.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that high school hasn’t been the peak of my life. And for that I am so thankful because who wants to peak at 17? We have a long, adventurous life ahead of us. High school was four years of fun, stupidity, drama and every second has a special place in my heart but there is so much more space for new memories. The idea of leaving high school is still scary. Our life up until high school was decided for us. Our schedules were made by our counselors, our parents paid for everything, and we’ve had the same friends since we can remember. In college we are told to decide what we wanna do for the rest of our lives, a job isn’t free money and we have to make new friends. Theres two ways to look at that. You can choose to fall off and treat high school like your peak. You can choose to fool around and make nothing of yourself or you can choose to find yourself. For the first time in your life you don’t have to be the same person. You can reinvent yourself. Pick a better friend group. Embrace your culture. Share your political beliefs. And whatever else you’ve always wanted to do.

Everything comes back to your attitude and perspective. You choose your outlook. Your life choices are never someone else’s fault. What happens to you isn’t something you can control but who you choose to become after is. And remember you cannot control others actions but you can control your reactions. Don’t waste your time victimizing yourself. Stop involving yourself with the unnecessary drama. Become friends with people you wanna be like, people who inspire you and want you to grow. Make the best of your life and time. Do that thing that makes adrenaline rush through your body. Take yourself on dates. Pack your bag and go on a spontaneous trip. Learn to take control of your life and make something positive of it. Live your life. But also realize if you can’t spend time alone with yourself how can you expect others to want to spend time with you. Being alone can bring you so much comfort and relaxation, which sometimes is all we need.

Here are some pictures of one of the dates I took myself on. I got sushi, drove the beach, put away my phone after these pictures, turned on the radio, and watched the birds while allowing my mind to think its thoughts and it has been one of the most blissful experiences.

I hope this gave you whatever you came searching for and don’t be afraid to leave a comment about any questions or topics you want to read about. I wanna be your friend. Ask me your questions. I can answer anything to the best of my knowledge. Don’t be shy to interact with my posts. I am just a teenager sharing my experiences as they come.