Tales of Turning 40: Husband Out, Dog In
By: The Haggard Lyon
Tags: Midlife, Sleeping, Dogs, Moms, Family

Last night my husband refused to sleep in our bed. The reason:

Adelle by Lindsay Lyon

This sweet little beast (diva-named “Adelle”) has taken over our bed. She burrows (ie. furious scratching the sheets) before she decides to curl up right between us, or better yet, on one of our pillows, and crash, which involves some snoring (loud-breathing) and the occasional dreams that wake her up with a bark.

Throughout the night she might need to groom herself or scratch, and it’s crazy how her little feet moving that fast can cause our whole bed to shake. When she is ready to wake up, she will do some loud sniffing, or — more likely scenario — lots of face-licking.

So the husband gives me an ultimatum: him or her. I seem to be left with some choices:

Choose her and I guess he will switch rooms with my son. Choose him and train her to sleep somewhere else.

#1 is definitely the easiest choice. Little Adelle loves sleeping in the bed. My son loves sleeping with me. And the husband somewhere else? Weellllllll….win/win?

#2: It is not going to be easy to train her to either sleep on her bed or somewhere else. I just Googled “how to untrain a dog to sleep in the bed” and came up with this: How to Make Your Dog Stop Sleeping in Your Bed. There are 15 steps! Good lord….

A little background…

I am turning 40 in a little over a week, and this is my first dog. I lived nearly 40 years without a dog. We’ve had many cats, and up until recently, I would say to anyone who asked me if I liked dogs: “I’m a cat person.” So why the change?

I’m supposed to say because of my children (ages 7 and 9). Our cat ran away before the winter holiday, and since we’ve been talking about getting a dog for so long, this was a sign. In my mind, the children were heart-broken (they weren’t), and needed a pick-me-up loving puppy. Go for it. Just because we live overseas does not mean we have to sacrifice the dog experience forEVER.

But the puppy was really for me. I’ve had some dark days this year, with basically all the signs of a midlife meltdown. A puppy could bring me back to joy.

“Happiness is a warm puppy. “ — Charles M. Schulz

After a little research on the classifieds, we found out that toy poodles are smart, cute, and there are plenty of them of them in Jakarta. We found a lovely breeder, and all of sudden a darling little puppy is in our lives, and we’re doing the whole dog-owner thing.

Although the puppy was going to be our family dog — surprise surprise — I (mom) seem to be the one who is taking care of her. And she, in turn (unlike cats!) returns the love, and I am Person Numero Uno for her. My friend is teaching me how to use clicker training, I am taking her out in the middle of the night to pee for the first few weeks, I am making sure she is fed….kind of seems like I am doing most of the work. But I am rewarded by getting the most love, as she whines when I leave the room and follows me around, well, like a dog. She is bringing me lots of joy.

Decision Time

I tried having her sleep in her crate right beside my bed, I really did. But she whimpered throughout the night and I kept waking up lots of times to put my hand down and comfort her and help her go back to sleep. The first time I let her in the bed, we all slept through the night. Problem solved.

Except — now, she’s not sleeping through the night, and neither are we.

In the end, #1 is not reasonable. The husband comes first, and will outlast sweet Adelle. There are lots of reasons a wife and husband should probably be in the same bed (at least the same room!) together. The puppy’s bed days are numbered.

My nearly-40-year-old-self gets to rewind almost a decade to the days when my kids were infants. I will Ferberize this puppy, and it will be good for all in the long-run.

And as for my midlife woes — despite the work involved with having a puppy — she’s a pretty damn good antidote for warding off the blues.