7 Ways To Improve Your Relationships During COVID-19
By: Peter Jumrukovski
Tags: Covid 19, Relationships, Love, Morning Routines, Emotional Intelligence

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationships During COVID-19

Let’s talk emotional intelligence and relationships, specifically how to improve your relationships during the challenging times we are facing.

Last week I practiced social distancing and sat down virtually with a mentor and good friend of mine AJ Harbinger, one of the world’s top relationship development experts and the co-founder of The Art of Charm Podcast. These are the seven lessons I learned during our conversation for my podcast, The I Love Success Podcast.

I must warn you, I will cut right to the chase and these tools are so valuable that you probably should start implementing them right away, share them with others and give AJ and me a virtual high five on the gram.

There are certainly a lot of emotional ups and downs, so what are really the best ways to stay cool and avoid verbal sparring with your loved ones?

First, have more self compassion. It is okay to be emotionally reactive, most of us are, it’s part of the human experience. Second, realizing that at the end of the day we do love one another. And we have the highest of hopes for one another. Look for resolution rather than quarrel, and if you do have the need to express yourself loudly, make sure to yell into a pillow instead of to your partner (okay I made that last one up, but I tried and it works:).

Sleeping in?

No more commute, now it’s the time to dial in your morning routines. Meditation, yoga, journaling and a couple of push ups is not only for the extreme any more. We all have the time, and as a matter of fact, chances are that it will change your life for the better.

For example checking the news, social media or your e-mail first thing when waking up can make you very negative versus actually starting the day by working out and getting some positive emotions in first. Take care of yourself first because that will give you the strength to handle the challenges of the day.

I feel lonely because of the quarantine!?

Check in on people that you haven’t talked to for a while. This a unique opportunity for all of us to connect with old friends and family that we have been meaning to reach out to. We are all in this together, use technology to stay together.

Have you tried “magic dialing” when getting in touch?

If you don’t get an answer the first time calling, leave no voicemail. Instead call back immediately, you will be surprised how this simple hack actually works. And you get to connect with the people you care about. Have patience when talking to the people you love because most of us are going through an emotional roller coaster and the emotions you are feeling might not be the same emotions that another human are feeling in the same moment. Remember that being open, honest and vulnerable, makes you more human, relatable and deepens connections.

What changes are you gonna make with your relationships when this is over?

“I need to carve out more time to stay connected. I have been a little selfish and let relationships that matter to me fall out. This have made me realize how far a phone call or a text can go. I actually started putting time in my calendar to reach out to friends and family”, says AJ Harbinger.

The 3C’s are brilliant

Divide your day into 3 parts, the 3C’s.

CREATING — first part of the day when you are the most creative.

COLLABORATE — mid part of the day is dedicated to meetings and collaborations.

CONNECT — in the evenings, connect with friends and family.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is understanding our own emotions. Your emotions are fleeting and they don’t define you. Be okay with all your emotions and learn how to regulate them. Have self compassion, let go and diffuse them so they don’t get the best of you.

When you know how to do this you can start picking up other peoples emotions.

It is harder to virtually pick up on other peoples emotions because we are distracted by apps, notifications etc. Close apps, turn off notifications and focus on the conversation in front of you. Try to truly connect, and if you can’t pick up on the cues, ask: “How are you feeling?”, and listen to the words.

Study yourself and take the temperature on your emotions

To take the temperature on your emotions start journaling, every morning and evening write about how you are feeling. Think of the areas in your life where you are seeking out pleasure. Our bad habits are usually a way of avoiding pain and seeking out pleasure.

Remember, your emotions don’t define you. Sometimes the chemical reaction will be positive and sometimes negative. Go back to your journal and analyze the days that you are feeling good and bad. What are you doing on your best days?

Finally, the big one. How do you deal with important life events cancelling?

“It was heartbreaking to postpone my wedding”, says AJ.

Understand that it is okay to grief, be upset and angry if you had to cancel an important life event. Don’t suppress your negative emotions. Be honest and open with your partner, family and friends. This is part of what we are going through right now. And if you have friends and family that have cancelled important events, reach out and show some compassion.

And hey, don’t forget, no matter what you are going through, you are still alive. You are in the game. Look to make the most of it, what you focus on will ultimately be the result. We will get through this, there is light in the end of the tunnel and we will pull through.

In all dark moments in history, there are people that see opportunity and they end up flourishing and thriving. Look for opportunities to help others and keep your dreams. Show up, and you will be successful and reach your dreams!

Thank you AJ for sharing all this incredible tools. If you want to hear the full episode check out #177 of The I Love Success Podcast.