I Traveled to Cut and Shoot, Texas and a Big Ol’ Brawl Happened
By: Jimmywayne Ford
Tags: Humor, Texas, History, Tall Tales, Short Story

I Traveled to Cut and Shoot, Texas and a Big Ol’ Brawl Happened

answerin’ another prompt

Image by Shutterbug75 from Pixabay

Now this happened some time ago, but it’s a good story.

I was on my way to Houston carrying a load of lumber when I stopped for lunch at the Texas Smoke Pit in Cut and Shoot, Texas. I had heard of the place from a buddy of mine named Red White. Ol’ Red said that I could fill my belly cheap at the Texas Smoke Pit.

Now you may think I’m makin’ the name of this town up, but I ain’t. It’s a for real place and that there’s the for real name. They’s different explanations for how the town got its name.

Accordin’ to one story about how the town came by this name it’s ’cause of some big row between different brands of Christians arguin’ over whether some preacher who had a bad reputation for visitin’ saloons and dancin’ had a right to preach in the town’s Community House.

Well, these peace-lovin’ Christians decided to bring their guns to this hoedown and stop the unsaintly reverend from preachin’ but the group with the preacher brought their guns also and they was some mouthin’ off and threats a takin’ place that nearly ended up in a gunfight, but it was solved peaceful like after all.

Some kid got scared and said he was gonna “cut around the corner and shoot through the bushes in a minute!”

The fussin’ and the fightin’ didn’t end there though. They all went to Conroe, the nearest city, and filed a case against each other. The story got told in court and after that the town got its name.

Well, folks, sometimes history nearly repeats itself.

After I ordered my brisket dinner, a waitress named Daisy poured me a giant glass of sweet tea and went back to a table with three local guys and started flirtin’ with them boys.

One of them goobers commenced to pattin’ Daisy’s derriere and Daisy hauled off and slapped him. That idiot stood up and started to slap her back.

This caused quite a commotion and everybody in the place got upset and started shoutin’. I ain’t one to ever watch a lady get hurt nor some fight go on without me so I joined the crowd around the table.

All the guys at the table got up and started yellin’ at the other fellas and then fists started flyin’ all over the place. I hit a few guys and then I walked over and whispered in Daisy’s ear that maybe she oughta go call the sherriff or somethin’ and she said, “Oh, this kind of thang happens all the time.”

My guess is these jokers were descendants of the numbnuts who was there at the beginnin’. They still a fightin’ and goin’ at each other just like their great grandpappies and grandmammies.

After a while, ever’body settled down and went back to eatin’.

The guy who started the whole thing got up and went outside. Not two minutes later, he come back in holdin’ a rifle and pointed it at some of the guys he’d been sluggin’ it out with.

It weren’t two seconds before half the people in the place had pulled out a gun and pointed it at this idiot with the rifle. He slowly backed out of the place and peeled outa the parkin’ lot like the devil was chasin’ him.

About this time, Daisy brought me my dinner and refilled my tea.

I figured since ain’t nobody else upset about all this, so I’d just eat my dinner and cut out of there before they was any more almost shootin’, but not before I had a slice of pecan pie.