My journey with Ceremonial Cacao
By: Newman Alexander
Tags: Ceremonial Cacao, Plant Medicine, Psychedelics, Spirituality, Personal Growth

My journey with Ceremonial Cacao

I spend a lot of time in alternative circles, with people who are curious about how to live richer, deeper, better lives. Through these communities I learn about all manner of practices: everything from yoga and mindfulness to full-body shaking, Tantric eye-gazing and bondage as a healing art.

I grew up with a narcissistic mother, who was also as New Agey as they come — and this was in the 70s, when hardly anyone had heard of carob and tofu. My mum was certainly a pioneer but she was also a True Believer, someone who could convince herself of just about anything. She would try a new practice or supplement and be convinced that THIS IS IT, the thing that would heal her of the pain she’d carried throughout her life.

I was deeply skeptical about her revelations, which never seemed to make much difference to the roller-coaster experience of being her child. If these radical new approaches were having such a profound effect on her, why did I still feel hurt and angry most of the time? As a consequence I was (and still am) wary of the Next Big Thing in the alternative world.

I first crossed paths with Ceremonial Cacao about eight years ago. The craze had just landed among English hippies and everyone was raving about this incredible new thing that was helping them feel more connected and alive.

I have to admit, I was rather skeptical. Surely this is just a cup of hot chocolate? I mused. Remembering my mum’s many crazes, I prepared to be totally underwhelmed as I stepped into my first cacao ceremony.

I was unconvinced it would have much effect; so on that first evening I had three times the recommended dose. A few hours later I found myself outside on the lawn, greeting the sunrise with my hands in the air, cheering enthusiastically like I had in my raving days — when I’d been assisted by altogether less wholesome substances. With one key difference: for the days that followed I had almost no comedown, even though I’d been just as high as on those heady MDMA-fuelled nights of the past.

After that, my skepticism quickly melted away. I started spending time with Mary from Oh Wow Cacao, who was passionate about Ceremonial Cacao and its heart-opening effects. We explored it in all sorts of different ways: as a replacement for booze and drugs at parties; as a way to deepen intimacy and connection between us during play sessions; as a support for meditation and breathwork; as an energiser at Five Rhythms and other conscious dance events; and as a heart-opening aphrodisiac at sexuality gatherings and workshops.

Over time I realised that Ceremonial Cacao was a tremendous gift in any setting that required my right-brain more than my left brain. It softened me somehow, made me more receptive and open, showing me how to engage more kindly with myself and others. It did everything people were claiming it could do and more besides.

So I started holding workshops and ceremonies with Ceremonial Cacao. That’s when I realised that it’s a quietly powerful plant medicine, even though it doesn’t have the wham-bam factor associated with the more psychedelic medicines. It doesn’t throw you into an altered reality but it does open the door to profound self-realisation and awakening — and if you resist, it often makes you cry!

Over time, I formed a strong and precious relationship with Lady Cacao — the name I affectionately give to the spirit of Ceremonial Cacao. She became a close companion, someone who cares deeply about me and who always guides me to greater aware and compassion.

In the years since then I’ve worked with a number of other plant medicines — including iboga, ayahuasca, kambo and rapé. Each has given me great gifts and taken me further on my journey, yet it’s Lady Cacao who I keep returning to for guidance. In her fierce gentleness she’s been my greatest teacher, the one who above all invites me to be kinder and more compassionate. She shows me how to keep my heart open rather than giving in to hostility and mistrust. Since this is a key part of my struggle in life, she has been a tremendous companion on the road.

Over the years I’ve learnt to pay Lady Cacao great reverence and not to underestimate her. If you’re familiar with mind-altering substances, it’s quite easy to thinking nothing’s happening when you take cacao. My response is always the same: don’t be sure that nothing is happening! Look beyond the experience to how you feel inside and you’ll notice her working, shining a light in the shadows, opening you up where you’re closed, showing you what you need to do to become more whole.

I love Ceremonial Cacao. Eight years after I drank my first cup, she’s still teaching me how to live better. I turn to her when I feel overwhelmed and she gives me comfort. I look to her when I’m confused and she brings clarity. I dance with her when I’m celebrating and she takes me higher. I reach out to her when I’m emotional and she helps me feel more. I cry often with Lady Cacao and she loves me more for it.

No medicine is for everyone. If you try Ceremonial Cacao and feel nothing, that’s fair enough. But if you notice something happening when you take cacao, however subtle, give Lady Cacao more of your attention. She often speaks quietly, so you need to slow down and quieten your mind to hear her. Yet in her subtle way she’s an immensely powerful guide, inviting you to let life touch you as deeply as you dare.