Cultural Differences
By: Harry Seitz
Tags: New York, Cultural Differences, Vietnam, Violence, London

Cultural Differences

When I went to college in London in 1993, I was absolutely stunned. I didn’t think there was a city on earth that could compare to NY, but London was better in every measurable way. It was much safer and cleaner, and the one time I did get jumped, I didn’t get hurt, and was stitched up for free.

Still, there were a few things I didn’t understand. In NY, if you can back out of a fight, you do, because 99% of the time, you can’t, and if you get mugged in your neighborhood and don’t make it difficult, you’ll get mugged everyday for the rest of your life.

In London, even with foreigners from Georgian Russia and other tough people, I didn’t get it. They gave me the option, so I walked away. A few people baited me for it, and while I thought they were foolish, it still hurt.

It’s in my nature to fight, but I’d lived in NY long enough to know that if you can back out, you do. The other person doesn’t really want it either, and here, it’s jail or the hospital or both, or worse.

In NY, it’s almost always about money. You can’t let people take your money, because again, they’ll keep taking forever.

In London and other countries, they had concepts like pride, or honor, which we have too, but what they didn’t have was a sense of mortality.

I had a gun pulled on me here because my friend didn’t have his dog leashed. We had an argument, then five minutes later, I heard a click behind me, the click of a nine millimeter being chambered.

“You got something to say about your dogs now motherfuckers?”

We apologized, but my friend, who had a bit more at stake in that neighborhood, told me that lunatics like that could not be tolerated, and I agreed.

The police showed up 20 minutes later, or 20 minutes too late. But the guy who pulled the gun magically disappeared.

I was 19 when I was in London, still young enough to be more than a little stupid, and backing down from those Georgians costed me some points. People thought I was a coward and frankly, they were right. I get the option to back down, and I’ll take it, but it still irked me. I was afraid of getting kicked out of London, and didn’t understand these kids. To be fair, they didn’t understand me, either.

Once I ran out of money and knew I was going back to NY anyway, I did what I should have in the first place. The next guy who fucked with me, I threw against a wall and told him I’d beat to death. He knew it, and he backed down, and no one ever bothered me in London again.

Guns did keep a relative kind of peace here in a way, at least in regard to fighting, but that doesn’t mean that people here won’t fight, or don’t know how. All of the worst fights I’ve witnessed or ever been in have been in NY, and they’re typically quick and brutal. Strike first, strike hard, and have no mercy. It’s sad, but it’s the truth.

There are far less guns now, and the city is much less violent than it was, but still, you don’t go out of your way to find trouble. Trouble will inevitably find you. Everyone I know here, every single person, has been mugged at least once.

This is a condemnation of NY more than anything else, but it isn’t quite like any other city. You can get whatever you want, whenever you want, if you have the money, and if you deal with people outside of the law, you have to know the rules. One of my friends in a bad neighborhood got badly beaten over a $2 debt. Because if you let one get away with that, then everyone does.

The worst ghettos in London and Scotland and Vietnam didn’t fill me with the same kind of instinctive dread I still feel here when I wander into some of the old neighborhoods I used to live in. This could be because of ignorance, but I have friends here from Russia and Albania who agree. They think that they’re tough, and they are, until they wander into the wrong part of the Bronx or Brooklyn or Queens.

In some ways, I think this makes us better. Because we have no safety net, and there isn’t as much posturing and pretending. And also because you can see all the wealth all around you, and you want it.

NY is my home, and it is my favorite, probably because it is my home. It’s one of the most progressive cities in the world, supposedly, but I understand why foreigners are afraid to come here, and why they do anyway. If you’re willing, you can make money here. But like any enormous city, it is dangerous, and relatively cold. You come here with money, and someone, maybe everyone, is going to try to take it. And if you go out of your way to make trouble, you’re going to get hurt.