Self-Care vs Selfishness
By: Tiffany Hsu
Tags: Guilt, Self Care, Self Improvement, Health, Wellness

Have you ever felt guilty for the times where you have put yourself first? Do you sometimes wonder if putting yourself first is being selfish? Well, today I want to talk about whether or not self-care is being selfish.

Self-care is defined as the action of preserving or improving one’s own health. On the flip side, being selfish is defined as someone who lacks consideration for others and their actions and motives are for their own personal profit or pleasure.

At first glance, self-care may seem related to selfishness or the intent may have been derived from selfishness. However, they are two completely different things. The main difference lies within the motive.

Selfishness is rooted in one’s personal gain or pleasure, whereas self-care is about preserving or improving your health. The approach to self-care is different because you are seeing a need in yourself that needs to be improved or maintained.

There may be times where you may feel selfish because you are focusing on yourself, but the reality is, you are taking care of yourself. Do not feel guilty for caring for your needs. You are not selfish for taking the time to take care of yourself.

Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape. Bell Hooks

The Importance of Self-care

When you are practicing self-care, you are looking to take care of yourself so that you can care for others. I’m sure you have heard the saying, “How can you expect to love others if you can’t learn to love yourself?” Well, this is the same for self-care. How can you expect to care for others if you can’t learn to care for yourself?

Self-care is about maintaining a balance in your life. There are many parts that create a person, the body, mind, heart, and soul. There is a delicate balance between all of them. If one part begins to deteriorate, the rest will begin to deteriorate as well. In order to stay healthy, we need to take the time to put ourselves first. We need to learn how to nurture ourselves so that we can thrive and help others along the way.

If you want to learn more about self-care habits, please take a look at this article: 5 Simple Ways You Can Practice Self-Care Today

Selfishness is not living as one withes to live, it is asking others to live as one withes to live Oscar Wilde

Stop Feeling Guilty

You might still be wondering, “How is this different from being selfish?” Well, selfishness is doing something for your own gain without worrying about the consequences of those around you. The mindset of a selfish person is trying to fill a need with the expectation of others bending to your will. Oscar Wilde states, “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” Selfishness lack empathy, compassion, and love for others, whereas self-care does not.

When we choose to take care of ourselves and to put ourselves first, we may feel like we’re being selfish. That’s okay. It is okay for you to feel selfish, but do not get caught up in that feeling because, eventually, you need to put your needs first. Take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

You are not being selfish for putting things aside so that you can feel better. You are not selfish for canceling plans after a long and arduous day. You are not selfish for unplugging yourself from technology so that you can destress after a stressful day. It is okay for you to put yourself first every once in a while. Your wellbeing is more valuable than how others might perceive you. Do not cast aside your wellbeing, instead, find a balance in your life where you can take care of others and, most importantly, yourself.

Don’t forget, you are loved, cared for, and significant. Take care and I hope to see you next week.