Your Words Matter: The Importance of Pronouns in the World and the Workplace
By: Kieran Craft
Tags: Workplace, Inclusion, Transgender, Pronouns, Gender

Personal pronouns (words that we use to refer to others in lieu of their name) are an important component of language that people use in almost every interaction they have on a day-to-day basis. In English and many other languages, these pronouns also indicate the gender of the person who is being spoken about.

These gendered pronouns are not something most people spend a significant amount of time or energy considering and they may take the ease of these everyday interactions for granted. But for many people ⏤ particularly those who are transgender or gender nonconforming ⏤ having their correct pronouns used is not a given. For these individuals, the pronouns that others use for them are anything but trivial and can be a significant source of either discomfort or affirmation. That is why everyone must consider and understand the importance of pronouns and how to use them respectfully.

So, what exactly are gender pronouns?

Some examples of gender pronouns include:

“He” and “she” are the pronouns that English speakers are most familiar with, but there are also gender-neutral pronouns (those that do not imply a specific gender) that many people use. For some nonbinary people (those who do not identify within the binary genders of man or woman), for instance, these gendered pronouns simply would not fit. “They” and “ze” are two sets of gender-neutral pronouns that people might use.

While “they” is often thought of today as a pronoun that refers to multiple people, it has been used throughout history as a singular pronoun by writers such as William Shakespeare, Geoffrey Chaucer, Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, and many others. In fact, most people use singular “they” quite often without even realizing it. If you’re leaving a room and you notice a jacket was left on the back of a chair, you might yell out, “Did someone forget their coat?” That’s how easy it can be to incorporate singular “they” into your vocabulary!

Okay, but why are pronouns so important?

For many people, the pronouns they use match what is assumed by society to align with their gender assigned at birth. They most likely don’t pay a second thought to the pronouns that others use for them ⏤simply because they’ve never had to. If you’ve always had the correct pronouns used for you, it can be difficult to understand the impact that these words can have on someone when used incorrectly (or even to recognize that this problem exists at all). But never having to worry that your pronouns may be up for question or debate is certainly not a privilege everyone has.

This is the reality for many transgender and gender nonconforming people when it comes to pronouns. People often make (potentially harmful) assumptions about the pronouns others use based solely on their appearance, but the only way you can know what someone’s pronouns are with certainty (and avoid disrespecting them) is by asking. For those who experience gender dysphoria, being misgendered (having the wrong pronoun or other gendered word used for them) is much more than “just words.” It tells them that the person who said these things does not see them as the person they truly are, does not respect them, and does not support them. For the sake of inclusion, support, and basic humanity, it is important to call people by the names, pronouns, and other words that they have asked you to use. In the same way that you should always call someone by the name they’ve introduced themself with, you should also pay them that respect by using their correct pronouns.

Why are pronouns specifically important in the workplace?

While using someone’s correct pronouns is important in all situations, it is especially important within a professional context. An integral part of a successful workplace is helping employees to thrive and succeed. Employees should feel supported and encouraged to reach their greatest capabilities ⏤ both for their own personal growth and success, as well as for the growth and success of the organization that employs them. This type of work environment is not possible when people do not feel like they can be their true selves at work. When people do not feel supported, comfortable, or accepted for who they are, it makes it that much harder to do the job they were hired to do.

When it comes to transgender and gender nonconforming employees, one of the simplest ways you can show your support and respect is by honoring the pronouns they’ve asked you to use. Whether you are someone’s supervisor or their coworker, using the correct pronouns will set a standard for those around you and let people know that it is necessary to follow suit. This simple step can make a world of difference to those who would otherwise feel excluded and unwelcome in their work environment.

So how can I do my part to support transgender and gender nonconforming folks?

When you meet someone, introduce yourself with your name and pronouns and then ask for theirs. By taking the lead and sharing your own pronouns, you let others know that they are in an accepting space and you help to avoid alienating transgender and gender nonconforming folks from the rest of the group. Remember, everyone has pronouns that they are most comfortable with, not just trans people. So you should share them with others in the same way that you share your name! Include your pronouns in your email signatures and social media bios. This normalizes the idea of everyone sharing their pronouns and helps to avoid people making assumptions. Including your pronouns in your professional email signature, especially, helps to foster a work environment of respect and inclusivity. It even provides an opportunity for you to educate others about the importance of pronouns when someone asks you about it! Correct others if you hear them misgender someone. This helps to take some of the pressure off of transgender and gender nonconforming folks, who are usually the ones correcting people. It also shows your support and solidarity with them even when they aren’t physically present to hear the mistake. If you make a mistake with someone’s pronouns, simply apologize, correct yourself, and carry on with the conversation. Mistakes happen! And while you probably feel bad about the error, it will only make the person who was misgendered feel worse if you continue to draw attention to the situation (especially in front of others). It isn’t their responsibility to comfort you for making the mistake, so please do not make them feel like they need to put in that emotional labor. Don’t use the phrase “preferred pronouns.” While this is often well-intentioned, it implies that someone’s pronouns are just a preference and that there may be other, equally correct options that could be used for them. This is simply not the case. People’s pronouns are not preferred ⏤ they are required. If someone has told you their pronouns, those are the only correct pronouns that should be used for them.

This is only the beginning.

When it comes down to it, you don’t have to understand everything about gender, identities, and pronouns in order to comfort and support those around you. Trust that people know themselves best and be sure to use the words they have told you are correct. Words absolutely have an impact on people’s experiences ⏤ they matter. And by simply honoring people’s correct pronouns, you can make a world of difference in someone’s day-to-day experiences.