Erma Bombeck Was The Original Mommy Blogger
By: Jacqueline Dooley
Tags: Cancer, Inspiration, Book Review, Reading, Books

I Want to Grow Hair, I Want to Grow Up, I Want to Go to Boise was published in 1989 — way before the internet and social media enabled families to reach out to the larger world and let them into the lives of families dealing with childhood cancer. It’s out of print. I couldn’t even buy it for my Kindle. I ended up getting a copy for $2.00 on eBay.

Cancer was very insulated in 1989. People still whispered the word and avoided talking about it. It’s probably still taboo to some degree — but personal blogs, social media, and web sites like GoFundMe are allowing families to open up about their struggles with cancer while giving us a way to ask for help and support.



Even so, cancer — particularly childhood cancer — ranks up there with a parents’ “worst nightmare” and of course I should know.

Cancer scars families. It scars children. It’s easy to sink into despair. It’s hard to remain hopeful. Cancer is unrelenting and cataclysmic. No one should ever have to see their child go through it.



But, the thing that we can forget in the midst of this crisis, is that children do survive. They grow up. They go on to have their own children. And that’s really what this book is about. (full disclosure: this was not how the story ended for my daughter, but when I found Erma Bombeck’s book, I needed the hope it gave me).



The overarching message in Ms. Bombeck’s book is one of optimism. She writes:

“Inside these little bodies that house a full-blown major catastrophic disease are children fighting to get out. And children exist on a diet of optimism: the rain is always going to stop just before the Little League game begins. The lost library book will always turn up just before it is due. An Act of God will close the school when the term paper isn’t finished.”

It’s easy to lose sight of optimism when you’re trying to get through the day (or the hour). But it’s critical to remember the innate optimism of children. They follow our cues, Ms. Bombeck is saying, lead them through this forest.



I Want to Grow Hair honors all the players in the epic story of childhood cancer — parents, siblings, doctors, nurses, friends and, most of all, the children fighting the disease.

Ms. Bombeck writes with such love and respect that you forget to be afraid of the disease (maybe, just for a minute). That’s exactly what those of us who’ve lived through (or are living through) this horrific illness really need.



This book reminded me of the power of hope. It reminded me that I’m not alone — other mothers have come before me in this fight and others will come after me. She writes:

“Mothers are programmed to bring a child to maturity and by all that is holy they will use everything they have to bring this about.”

It makes so much sense to me now — why I’d been so obsessed with learning everything possible about cancer and why it was important for me to honor my daughter’s incredibly difficult struggle with the disease by writing a book about it myself.



One of the most powerful passages in the book is about patients dealing with relapse, which is something that my own daughter faced very early on. It’s not easy to read.

“When forced into a second battle with the disease, it is not unusual for children to consider suicide. Relapse patients mention the word often. Do not think that what you are about to read is a sign of weakness. You are looking despair in the face. You are meeting people who thought they were going home and are being sent back into combat — one more time.”

This is such an incredibly insightful passage because it really captures the devastating fear of relapse, as well as those in-between times when we wait for test results and pray that they’re normal.



So, my first book review is for an out of print, hard to find book. But it’s a book that deserves to be honored for its thoughtful and uplifting approach to chronicling childhood cancer.



In the words of Ms. Bombeck:

“Cancer and optimism were not considered compatible on this planet.”

But maybe they should be. These are words I held close to my heart throughout the entire length of my daughter’s illness.