Hey You! Please Stop Emailing Me Like We’re Besties.
By: Laura Silverstein
Tags: Job Hunting, Email Marketing, Marketing, Email Marketing Tips, Writing

Hey You! Please Stop Emailing Me Like We’re Besties.

I gave you my email address because I wanted your freebie and there was something about you that I liked.

I don’t mind allowing gravity to suck me down your funnel, as long as it’s interesting.

I might even be your ideal customer. I’m 50 years old, and my career is well established, so I’ve got free time and plenty of money to spend on your goods and services.

Not only will I buy your course at the end of your free webinar, but I’ll complete it, implement your suggestions, and leave you a well-written review (if it’s worthy).

But Here’s the Deal

I don’t like that my inbox is flooded with emails that start, “Hey Laura!”

I know you’re trying to be friendly and relatable and I appreciate that. But it’s a bit like nails on a chalkboard. (Sorry for the antiquated expression, clearly I can’t help myself.)

“Look, we’re not friends okay? If we were, you wouldn’t be saying, “Hey Laura.”

Created in Canva by Laura Silverstein

Most of my friends were also scolded for using the expression, being told, “Hey is for horses.”

Here’s the thing that I’m embarrassed to admit.

I secretly still love it when people call me Mrs. Silverstein.

I know it’s sexist; I get that intellectually. But there is a visceral warmth that instantly occurs when I hear the formal language I grew up with.

When I was a kid, I called everyone who was 21 or older, “Mr. and Mrs.”

I don’t mean to come across as your judgemental grandmother who talks about how much better the olden days were. The world is a better place than the one I was born into, but I still don’t like getting emails that imply that we’re best friends.

Internal Positive Bias

In the same way, we have internal negative biases, I think we also have positive biases.

I can’t control the internal voice in me that looks up to the person who addresses me formally. It’s a gut assumption that “your mother raised you right”, followed by all kinds of baseless assumptions that you are hard-working, loyal, and that you live a life of integrity.

All because you called me Mrs. Silverstein!?!

See how nuts that is? It’s not fair and it’s not right, but I don’t think I’m alone in this. In our formative years, we were taught that certain words communicated respect and others communicated disrespect. Those neuropathways have been set even for those of us who are working to re-wire them.

It’s hard to admit that I feel this way because I don’t want you to think I’m old-fashioned. And it’s possible that others feel the same way, even though they might not tell you.

Some Alternative Ideas

I’m not sure what your beta-tests reveal, but here are some alternative ways to address your emails:

Hi, instead of Hey Hi There, Instead of What’s Up Hello, vs Check This Out

If You are Asking Me for a Job

For the love of goodness, please write a cover letter and address it, Dear Ms. Silverstein.

The last time I was hiring, I received over 300 applications. I was looking for an office manager/bookkeeper to manage my day-to-day operations. This position required access to highly confidential information and company financials.

I interviewed every single person who snail-mailed a cover letter and resume.

That part was easy because the number of people who took the time to google my company’s address and purchase a stamp was exactly one. She was working in an airport bagging area, so didn’t show the relevant job experience, but I really wanted to meet her. Everyone else shared their resume electronically, most without a cover letter.

Even though we didn’t end up working together, this applicant gave me a gift. It was so refreshing and nostalgic to receive a hand-addressed letter on high-quality paper. By the way, the cover letter started, Dear Ms. Silverstein, not Hey Laura.

Progress is a Wonderful and Necessary Thing

“Whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Martin Luther King

I know every time the earth moves around the sun; we become more and more casual with our dress, our dining rooms, and our language. For the most part, I’m happy about these changes, and I’m certainly happy not to be wearing pantyhose anymore.

But if you’re a marketer and you want some more business from wealthy people who were born before 1980, you might want to re-think where to draw the line of familiarity.

Thanks for listening to an old lady’s rant!

Sincerely Yours,

Laura