I Hit Yet Another Creative Rut And It Pushed Me To Take A Full Time Job.
Tags: Creative Rut, Creative, Self Improvement, Photography

I Hit Yet Another Creative Rut And It Pushed Me To Take A Full Time Job.

If there was an award for hitting rock bottom, it should be on my shelf already.

I was in a long phase where I cared way too much about being validated by the people I looked up to more than actually focusing on my journey and the growth stages I was experiencing. Then all forms of validation stopped! Because I based my progress on what people had to say, I found myself stuck in the deepest creative rut of my career. I was unable to create anything because everything I tried to do just didn’t seem good enough for “them”. They say when you hit the bottom, there is no where else to go but up. It has taken me a while but I am getting back up again. I learned a lot from that phase and I would like to share some of the lessons with anyone who cares to listen.

FIND YOUR WAY BACK — Beyoncé

As a teenager, all I did was create. I would spend hours on YouTube watching videos and then practice afterwards. The product of those practices is literally how my career started in photography. Quite honestly if I look back at those photos, I could puke but I did the damn thing regardless! And repeated it again and again. It was in the doing that SPEC — a student photography club at my university (that housed about 50 members), was formed. It was in the doing that SPEC Magazine was born. I created freely. What anyone thought about my work was the least of my worries and that kept the door of possibilities open for me. As I grew older, I began to listen to the voices that sometimes tell me “it isn’t good enough for how far you’ve come”. Soon, I started to create less until I could no longer create anything worthy of sharing. Or so I thought. Taking myself back in time was the first breakthrough moment for me. I found myself again and I’m now learning to create unbothered by anyone’s opinion.

STOP BEING A PERFECTIONIST

Being my own worst critic made me a prisoner in my own head. I was so scared of what everyone else thought about everything I did that I began to harshly critique myself which made everything I created “not good enough” to go out; to save me from critics outside my head. It was less scary to create for other people than for myself because of fear of judgment so I took up a full time job and created for someone else instead.

There will always be someone who thinks you could have done better and quite frankly, there is always room for better but it shouldn’t hinder your ability to create.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” — Theodore Roosevelt

My first medium article was a success and the fear of doing anything not as “perfect” as the first hindered me from putting out another. Now, I have realized that as a creative, I have to constantly apply myself to the process, allow myself to make mistakes but most importantly, learn from the mistakes.

CREATE FOR YOURSELF

So now that I have been able to find my way back to who I was before I let the world tell me who I should be and now that I am becoming less critical and judgmental about myself and my work and allowing myself make mistakes, I am now focusing on creating for myself. Art is subjective. What I see and how I see and present what I see will never be exactly the same as anyone else so I’m creating for myself. Those who resonate with my work will find me. I may never have millions of fans cheering me on or a ton of audience consuming my content but that’s okay. Knowing and accepting this is knowing peace and is freeing me from the shackles of creative rut.

CARE ABOUT THE JOURNEY — DavidB

The world is getting tougher to live in and the pressure from just existing in a very fast paced world keeps getting realer. With apps like Instagram, Twitter and the likes, it’s easy to forget you are on your own journey as you keep scrolling through your timeline. You soon forget how to simply appreciate these content you are feeding your brain as what they are — content and start comparing them to yours. You could even lose sight of who you are and because art is an expression of who we are, once you lose sight of that and where you are headed, you hinder yourself from moving forward. So in the words of DavidB, care about the journey. Rome indeed wasn’t built in a day. I’m now learning to be patient with myself and care about every step of the journey.

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” — Ecclesiastes 9:11

BE VULNERABLE

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” — Brené Brown “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.” — Brené Brown

Putting oneself out there can be extremely scary. The fear of unacceptance can be very paralyzing but since we are learning to block out the noise from outside as much as possible, vulnerability becomes paramount. It opens one to change and change can be a good thing. With change, we are able to understand new perspectives. People can really see us and connect with us. And since vulnerability begets vulnerability, we could be the courage someone else needs to step out too from their shell. Vulnerability is freeing and one will never know what’s on the other side if one doesn’t take the first step out.