The Uncomfortable Truth About Incarceration
Tags: Justice, Mass Incarceration, Prison, Criminal Justice Reform, Prison Reform

The Uncomfortable Truth About Incarceration

(Photo by Marc Schulte on Unsplash)

I am going to share something that might make you feel uncomfortable.

And when you read it, you may think, Why is she announcing this to the world? Isn’t she ashamed to share something so horrible?

But I am sharing it because we, as Americans, have a problem. And if we continue to ignore the problem, it will only get worse.

So here it is…

My son committed a crime, and for that crime, he is serving an eight-year sentence in prison.

He has already served almost five years of his sentence, and during that time, I have learned more than I ever wanted to about the U.S. prison system. But more importantly, I have learned that we, as Americans, prefer to turn a blind eye to incarceration.

It’s much more comfortable to ‘lock them up and throw away the key.’ And I get it because I used to think like that. Before my son went to prison, I didn’t know anything about our broken prison system. But I feel compelled to share what I have learned to encourage others to:

· Speak up about their own experience with incarceration

· Educate themselves about mass incarceration in the U.S.

· Understand how we as a society dehumanize the incarcerated and how that affects their ability to overcome their position in society (‘once a criminal, always a criminal’)

· Provide encouragement and support to the incarcerated and their families

· Be part of the solution

Here is what I’ve learned:

People feel uncomfortable discussing incarceration.

It took me a while to get here, but I am comfortable talking about my son’s incarceration. Of course, I don’t go into details about his crime, but I am willing to tell friends, family, and colleagues about our visits, the challenges we have faced, and the blessings we have discovered along the way.

And while I am comfortable talking about my son, I have noticed a trend in the body language of those on the ‘receiving end.’ People are generally very uncomfortable talking about incarceration. They don’t know how to respond, nor do they know what questions they should or should not ask.

And when I tell them I visit my son in prison, they look astonished like it is nothing short of a miracle that I made it out alive. But the reality is, I have visited my son dozens of times in several different prisons, and I have never felt frightened or vulnerable in any way.

And I want people to know that.

I want people to understand the truth about prisons and prisoners.

I want to do my part to humanize incarceration.

Incarceration cannot remain this obscure subject with no relevant meaning in our lives because, according to The Prison Policy Initiative, over two million people are locked up in the United States. And on a per capita basis, the U.S. has the highest incarceration rate in the world.

That’s a problem.

And it isn’t just my problem because I have a loved one who is ‘in the system.’ This is a collective problem, and it will take all of us to find a solution. So, we can’t continue to avoid conversations about incarceration. We need to engage in the dialogue and educate ourselves about the problem of mass incarceration.

As a society, we have built a prison system that is ‘out of sight, out of mind.’

Before my son went to prison, I had never seen a prison. And yet, there are two maximum-security prisons within twenty miles of my home. Subsequently, I have visited my son in five different prisons in New York state. And all of them have been located in the middle of nowhere.

My curiosity about the geography of prisons led me to do some research on the topic. And I came across a Washington Post editorial by Jennifer Lackey that clarified my confusion:

“Prisons often occupy the ‘geography of nowhere.’ They are found in unpopulated areas, far away from cities, so that both the facilities and the people they hold are invisible to most of the general public. We often hear talk of ‘removing’ criminals from society; the location of prisons makes that rhetoric a reality.”

If prisons are out of sight, out of mind, it explains why many of us have no idea that the U.S. holds the largest population of prisoners in the world.

Families of the incarcerated are looked upon with shame and disgrace.

Our society tends to view family members through the same lens as their incarcerated loved one. Therefore, we carry this burden of guilt and shame as if we also committed some sort of crime. And because of that, as well as dealing with an array of other challenges, we need a strong support network.

And I think most of us would agree that it’s advantageous to have a network of individuals who understand what we’re going through. For example, if you’re an alcoholic and you attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, you’re likely to meet other individuals who understand the challenges you face as an alcoholic. Talking to them and learning from them is helpful on your journey to sobriety.

It’s no different for those of us living with the burden of incarceration. But because there is a stigma attached to individuals who have a loved one in prison, most people prefer to remain silent about their situation. So, it makes it nearly impossible to find or form any type of support group for families of the incarcerated.

Trying to navigate this alone makes it difficult for families to provide the necessary support to their incarcerated loved ones. But the research is clear that the support of a loving family leads to far better outcomes for the incarcerated. For example, this report by Ryan Shanahan and Sandra Villalobos Agudelo concludes that: “Incarcerated men and women who maintain contact with supportive family members are more likely to succeed after their release.”

To be that supportive family prepared to help our loved one succeed after release, we need our friends and neighbors to embrace and support us.

We need our society to allow us the opportunity to climb out from under the cloud of shame and reproach with an understanding that we’re all in this together.

Because in the end, we all benefit if our loved ones come home and successfully reintegrate into society.

There is so much more I could share about our broken prison system, but I will save it for another day. For now, I implore you to open your eyes to see your fellow citizens behind bars. Refuse to continue the status quo of turning a blind eye to those who have been hidden from plain sight.

Educate yourself about the problem.

Reach out to friends and family members who are affected by incarceration.

Don’t be afraid to talk about incarceration.

Here are some great resources to jump start your journey towards enlightenment:

The Equal Justice Initiative, started by Bryan Stevenson

The Marshall Project

Prison Fellowship, founded by a former prisoner