I Conquered My Addiction to Instagram With One Sheet of Paper
By: Oum Ek
Tags: Mindfulness, Psychology, Jungian Psychology, Life Advice, Social Media

I Conquered My Addiction to Instagram With One Sheet of Paper

Before you try all the hacks, start with a simple thing: a clear intention.

Photo by lalo Hernandez on Unsplash

I’m a people pleaser: I seek external approval. It’s a natural thing for me to do. I’m not going to spend time finding the culprit of this pattern, it’s something I have in me, and many other people do too.

For the past three years, I’ve developed a proper addiction to Instagram — the perfect place for people-pleasing and validation addicts like me.

In the beginning, it felt good. I was high on the likes, the comments; heck, I was an influencer! I had 2k followers, people liked me and my content, they need me, I remember myself saying to people.

It’s only further down the road that I realized I had fallen victim to the algorithm. I was hooked on the likes. I defined myself through likes and comments and hearts. My public persona, @oumwonders, wasn’t just one of my masks anymore; it became the only mask I wore, and that mask started to stick to my skin. I identified with my public identity.

This hypertrophy led me to:

judge and suppress any other parts of my self

force my self to align with my public identity, with self-loathing, ignoring my boundaries, ignoring the needs of my other parts/personas

Eventually, my public persona cannibalised all my other aspects and turned me into what I call a zombie: a uni-aspect human, a flatbread, a uni-colour picture. No edges, no mistakes, the perfect “Om, Shanti” yogi girl who signs her messages with “Love and Light” and forces herself to “be love no matter what.”

My public persona, @oumwonders, wasn’t just one of my masks anymore; it became the only mask I wore.

This might seem extreme, but I invite you to take a moment and probe yourself, your life and see if it is that extreme, after all. Maybe you’ll find a similar process right in yourself. Is there one side of you that tends to dominate all the others (a right or positive side)? And, if you’re active on social media or on other public channels, how much time, attention and credit do you give to your public persona? Ask yourself, really.

The answer, for me, was like a slap on the face. The moment I realized what I was allowing to happen within myself, I couldn’t let it happen anymore. That’s the thing with eye-opening realizations like this one, you can’t go back anymore.

So, in October this year, I decided to take action. I didn’t really know how to proceed. I mean, how does an addict manage their addiction all by themselves? As far as I know it, there still isn't such thing as Instagram Addicts Anonymous. I had to find my way, by myself — Joseph Campbell would be so proud of me right now.

I started by the good old technique of deleting the app from my phone. That was too extreme and I came back to it a few days later. Learning number 1: no extremes, start small. So, I moved the app icon to the very last part of my phone screen, a place where I never really go. My notifications were already off, and I kept it that way.

This helped me decrease the number of times I opened the app. But there was still another problem: what to do with my account? Should I post? Should I stop posting? But, people need me! Should I just stop posting stories and focus on posts? Should I be less personal in my posts, more personal? Should I talk about this very process I’m going through?

I was going crazy, so I took a pause and I went on a holiday. I travelled to Portugal and took a digital detox — no phone for a few days. That was easy as I was on a gorgeous farm, it was warm and sunny and I was surrounded by people I love.

I used this time to reflect on this question: what’s missing in my process of detox? Why am I struggling so much to let go? And it hit me: I lack clarity in my intentions.

Taking action, whatever it is, without a clear intention, will likely not give the outcome you’re looking for. You need a clear intention.

I remember taking a sheet of paper and writing this title:

The Instagram code of conduct

And I started with replying to this question: Why am I on Instagram? or in other words: For what purpose do I want to use Instagram from now on?

There, that’s your intention. Clear, black on white as we say in French. Writing it makes it tangible, and it holds you accountable to yourself.

I wrote everything I needed to make clear, with my vision directed towards the future. What do I want from IG? What kind of relationship do I want with this platform? Do I even want to stay on it? And if so, for what purposes? And if so, how will this interaction look like?

A code of conduct.

This simple sheet of paper, 15 minutes spent writing these things, marked a pivotal moment in my relationship with IG.

It’s now December 23rd, and I’m happy to say I have not fallen back into my old pattern with the platform. I stayed true to my intention. I have not posted spontaneously or out of boredom and loneliness. As a matter of fact, I have posted once, and that was two days ago for the winter solstice. I haven’t checked other people’s account, I haven’t fallen into a rabbit hole of scrolling down passively. I have checked the explore page a couple of times and caught myself in a few seconds and stopped.

What an adventure! Beyond the fact that my psyche has been feeling much more at peace, I’ve been also able to notice how the platform used to play with me. For example, I now realize that I used to consume content without any critical mind or second thought. I used to take some accounts and their content for THE truth. I now trust myself more, I don’t take people’s perspective as the only perspective. That’s huge for me! My creativity has also been impacted! When I was on the platform, I followed several accounts of creative people. Seeing their work made me feel unable to create because I compared my beginner level to their expert level and felt defeated and uninspired before even starting. Since October, I’ve started painting and I’ve discovered my personal style. I’m not consciously copying anyone, so the work I create feels genuine and producing that work makes me feel good and happy. And, for me, that’s the goal!

I could go on and list many other changes, but I won’t — I wouldn’t like to influence your experience if you’re planning on embarking into this process.

All I’ll say is this: if you’ve been struggling with social media addiction, try setting a clear intention like a code of conduct, or whatever words resonate with you. It has been the igniter of a beneficial change in my toxic relationship with Instagram, and this has positively impacted my life.

I’ve claimed myself back and created more peace in my life.

If you try it, let me know how it goes by commenting!