Your Virginity Doesn’t Measure Your Worth
By: Kylie Chen
Tags: Women, Patriarchy, Inequality, Gender Equality, Empowerment

Your Virginity Doesn’t Measure Your Worth

Fight the patriachal culture degrading women

The concept of virginity has been placed as a social construct based on a macrosocial framework which adheres to traditional societal norms, delving to degrade a woman’s values as it creates a depiction of how women are commodities based on the state of their hymens. This mindset defeats the purpose of a relationship which prides itself for mutual love and respect and serves to highlight asymmetrical obedience as a core foundation of love used to enhance a man’s masculinity.

In contempt of the modern industrial society which upholds human rights and the privilege of freedom, conjectural conclusions are still exploited to shape the perception of women which allows gross misconduct to occur on a universal scale, Indonesia included.

A prime example is when women looking to become Indonesian police officers have to undergo an invasive “two-finger” virginity test as a measure of their purity. It is infuriating to see that career women are being considered for recruitment based on their sexual life instead of their qualifications and talents. Indonesia’s patriarchal culture depicts how being a virgin is a prerequisite to protecting the Indonesian community while there is no singular correlation between a woman’s virginity and their skills to excel in a workplace. The ideology where Indonesian police officials, the same people whose duty is to protect all Indonesian citizens, is that “society will not accept a female police officer who has an active sex life” leads to empowering the gender equality disparity, which creates a substantial impact on the prevalence of social exclusion for women.

“Every time I remember what happened, I cry … I feel like I don’t want to live anymore.” — Z, an Indonesian police officer recruit who failed an administered virginity test.

Virginity testing is preposterous, both from a scientific and a moral perspective. Women every day have to undergo ludicrous lengths to satisfy an irrational social norm which seeks to derogate a woman’s worth when medical professionals state that there is no biological definition of a woman’s virginity and how there is no accurate medical way to test your virginity. Despite the scientific evidence, women are forced to go through traumatizing lengths as seen in more extreme cases where an Indian ethnic group beats and communally humiliates a bride if she does not bleed on her wedding night, alongside the case of a Peking University student who committed suicide to seek “forgiveness” from her boyfriend for being a non-virgin.

In many cultures, including Indonesia’s, many men create a perception where virgin brides are a prize to be attained. For the advent of marriage, women are expected to remain virtuous and pure in order to make a good bride for their potential suitors while men are applauded for their many sexual partners. This double standard stems from an excessively harmful, traditional mindset which seeks to deteriorate the value a hegemonic society places on women and how our virginity serves as a sole factor for a happy marriage. On the other hand, women who are not virgins are considered a disgrace, be subject to social exclusion and perpetuates an ideology for the future generation to follow.

Is this really the message we want our future children to live by? Men who judge women solely based on their virginity, excluding other very pivotal factors, are subject of their own emasculation as they grapple with profound insecurity to have lost the “sole access” to their partner. It is ironic how men place an expectation for women to be virtuous until their wedding night when they cannot offer the same. Women are indoctrinated to be under a patriarchal culture where they are considered a commodity to encompass our honour, instead of the many aspects that make up an individual. Is the idea of marriage we all grew up in a false dream? Do we not seek to love someone based on who they are as a person?

Society creates a shared belief that entitles to control women, labelling our virginity as a coercive instrument to measure our worth. Women losing their virginity before marriage is deemed as an act close to criminality and that “devious” act is appalled by social norms, in which they will resent women due to the notion of impurity. Women who choose to live their own lives are labelled as “not the type of girl you want to marry”.

Here’s the real question- does a piece of tissue really serve as a tool to devoid us from respect and love? Aren’t we women worth so much more than that?

To all women, you are not broken or damaged if you do not remain a virgin until marriage. No woman deserves to be subjugated to mistreatment based on the notion of virginity that patriarchal culture has bestowed upon us. We women are so much more than a social construct. Nobody has the right to diminish your worth because you have had sex or even if you haven’t. Your body is your choice and you deserve so much love and respect. It does not matter whether you are waiting until marriage or if you are sexually active.

On a final note, you are worth so much more than your hymen and you should never settle for people who fail to see yourself for who you are.