2020 College Essay
By: Matthew Demarest
Tags: Volunteering, College Essays, College, Autism, Disability

On my first day of kindergarten, I met a boy named Stephen. Stephen has severe autism. Nevertheless, we were fast friends. In first grade, Stephen and I were in the same class again. He wanted to stay close to me whenever possible. We ate lunch, played flag football, and had playdates together. I was asked by our teacher to help Stephen prepare for field trips, overcome his fear of school buses, and participate in other school activities. These typical childhood activities were challenging for him. To other kids helping Stephen might seem like a chore, but not to me. I was just happy to be hanging out with my friend. My relationship with Stephen has become my longest-lasting friendship.

Later in elementary school, Stephen started to work with Northeast Passage (NEP), a recreational therapy program that is part of the University of New Hampshire’s College of Health and Human Services. As I was Stephen’s best friend, I was asked to join him. We toured the middle school, went out into the community, and did other activities. I witnessed firsthand how everyday activities were hard for him. Something like ordering food from a restaurant was a struggle. I would always try to help and support him. I often struggled to find the balance between challenging him and helping him. In school, I was even trusted by teachers to support Stephen with tests in a way that did not give him the answers.

I continued working with Northeast Passage for at least 2 hours a week for nine years. It became a routine part of my life and continued through high school. In high school, I was also helping other students with disabilities. I became a mentor to a freshman class and received the Effective Communicator award in our school. This is who I am as a person. My time with NEP and with the unified sports teams (teams where students with disabilities compete with the help of student partners) at Oyster River High School taught me that I have compassion and empathy for those who are different from me. It always makes me feel good helping these kids break through their barriers.

Even more importantly, Stephen and the others I work with have a lot to give me. Stephen, the other members of our NEP groups, and the unified athletes have proven to me that what is most important is not their level of ability, but the pureness of their heart. The students with disabilities I have met embody the qualities I want to have, strength, perseverance, and integrity. The lessons and skills I have learned from my friendship with Stephen are an intricate part of what I would bring to a college campus. I will always remember my friendship with Stephen and work to bring inclusion and equality wherever I go.

Stephen remains a close friend, and I have seen firsthand the negative effects the pandemic is having on him. I always try to be there for him when he needs me because that’s what friends do. Because of Stephen, I met and became connected to a wonderful group of people who are different from me but are simply amazing. My friends with disabilities have taught me not only what is really important in life, but they also taught me important life skills, and most importantly showed me who I am as a person. None of this would have happened without Stephen and the other students I have worked with, and for that, I am forever grateful.