Six lessons to take with me into 2021 and beyond
By: Abhimanyu Patel
Tags: Lessons Learned, 2020, Self Improvement, Goals, Poetry

1. Nothing Lasts Forever

I want to preface this point by saying that neither positive nor negative circumstances last forever. Either we must cherish it while we have or keep in mind that the rainbow awaits after the storm.

Every person reading this will think of a something specific to their lives. I think everyone has certain things that they wished would have lasted longer than they did. But in the end life moves on, and so must we.

However, what I take away from this is that we must try not to (unnecessarily) delay taking actions in life. If something is going well, capitalise on it, double down and ensure that you create lasting memories. In case you are hurting, make sure you get rid of that pain — even if it might hurt even more in the moment.

Accepting that nothing is constant or that life does not wait nor spare anyone is a big step. Hopefully this will make sure that one does not take life and everything that comes with it for granted. Death comes for everyone and all we can do is try to minimise the regret we have when it knocks on our doors.

2. Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Why do we try to avoid uncomfortable situations? Every person has their own reasonings. One of the more common reasonings is that these situations are oftentimes very awkward or difficult to deal with — hence being uncomfortable. You avoid situations that trigger painful memories (or would create new ones), maybe you do not want to disappoint or hurt the other person. Unfortunately, it often comes down to the fact that by avoiding it you cause more pain to yourself or simply delay the task at hand. Neither of which is good obviously.

Being able to be uncomfortable is a strength like no other. It allows you to prosper in situations others might not. Also, no matter how much you plan your life — chances are that the path you set for yourself will be impacted by something smaller or larger along the way and force you to change your path.

Oftentimes that change can be sudden and uncomfortable but that is in the end how you grow. Once again, being uncomfortable can be positive because you try something exciting for the first time and are unsure on how to go about it or negative when you find yourself in a situation you did not anticipate and need to figure out how to get back to the path you had set for yourself. Which reminds me of this quote from one of my favourite movies:

And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

— Thomas Wayne

2020 definitely did make me uncomfortable at times. However, after some time I realised that I should embrace it and seek out discomfort. Sometimes the biggest discomfort comes from a gut feeling. It is very difficult to listen to your gut because the brain usually works against it. If it would not, we would say that it was a rational decision. This makes it even more difficult to listen to. What makes matters worse is that no one understands and gets this feeling besides you. Alas, the question comes down to whether you trust your gut over your brain.

One advice I would like to give myself is that once you decide on something, no matter how difficult, you have to see it through. At least until the decision has yielded enough information to once again evaluate it. This way, you can give your gut a chance and tell the brain (or vice-versa) that it will get its chance again at a later time — create a win-win situation.

3. Mental and Physical Health Matters

Many people fell into two categories this year:

Being all alone most of the time Constantly being surrounded by others most of the time

Either option can take a toll mentally, especially if these situations are new. Many people faced uncertainty regarding their businesses and livelihoods and one really needs to take care of mind and body in these situations.

Not only was I fortunate enough to have a job I love and excel at, I was able to continue working from home without any issues throughout the year. There were still other situations and factors which were new to me that I had to come to terms with. One simple example of this would be the removal of my daily commute that I used to unwind on or the physical separation of work and life.

This led me down the path of “self-improvement”. After reading many articles and books I can tell that despite not being where I would like to be, I am on a path of improvement. One key lesson I kept seeing over and over was that physical health also strongly influences mental health.

Since I did not want to go to an (over)crowded gym, I started running — something I used to loathe in my gym days. However, I have come to appreciate it and actually look forward to my runs. Oftentimes a run ends my work day or starts off the weekend. This is an example of seeking out discomfort and giving it a shot.

We cannot influence everything happening around us. Therefore being in a mental and physical state to actually seize an opportunity that we do have under our control is even more important. My journey of self-improvement has just started but I am excited to see where it takes me.

4. Never Stop Learning

This should be a given. Not learning means standing still. We live in a world that keeps changing constantly, hence, we must also do the same. This can mean learning new things for work or any aspect of one’s personal life.

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

— Mahatma Gandhi

Learning comes in many forms and is not restricted to the classroom. Every experience we have shapes us. Every book we read or video we watch can teach us something — even if it has no direct impact on our daily lives. Learning in this case is also not limited by official degrees or certificates.

We ought to be mindful of what happens around and with us. Introspect and see how something affected you. Again, one can learn from negative incidents by knowing what to avoid next time but also from positive experiences where we want to recreate or even improve them.

As a personal side note: Learning is very valuable and a virtue in itself. However, teaching is where you reap the awards of what you have learned. Transferring the knowledge you have amassed over time to your peers or the next generations is very noble. This gives others the chance to repeat what you did or modify it to their situation or tells them what not to do in order to avoid pain or discomfort. Sharing knowledge is how humanity has reached here and taking it all to the grave would be a real shame. No matter how insignificant you might feel the knowledge you have is, I assure you that someone somewhere out there needs to hear exactly what you have to say!

5. Celebrate Love

I am not sure whether there is much to expand on this. It is quite simple, yet forgotten so easily and often. There were a few first anniversaries of some of my closest friends, some got married, others engaged, few moved in together, many deepened their love and some fell in love all over again.

Love always perseveres in the long run and we should celebrate this bond between people. It must not always be romantic love, it can be the love shared within a family or even platonic love between friends.

Nonetheless, some of the happiest moments this year was seeing friends interact with their significant others. It is almost as if you were to observe two people speaking their own language and you try to figure out what some of the subtleties and glances mean.

Celebrate these memories and if one ever finds themselves with someone else, speaking their own language, then make sure to become fluent in it. Ensure that you try to understand the other person as best as you can. Not everything is meant to last as already discussed. However, that does not mean that one should not try and give everything while having a special bond. Sometimes it’s just too difficult if the languages are vastly different and there is no dictionary available. Be happy that it happened and that the relationship gave you the gift of learning — about the other person but also yourself.

You never know what awaits and where life will take you. But make sure that you always have love for yourself. Because if you do not know your own language, how will you communicate with someone else when the time comes?

6. Cherish Family and Friends

Life can change in an instance. This year has shown us not to take family and friends for granted. If they are healthy, then we might not know when we get to see them again. If they are not, then we might never see them again.

After all friends are the family we choose. Even if one does not see or talk to them regularly, make sure you think about your family and keep them in your memories. That is how you ensure they live on within and through you.

Some day soon, perhaps in forty years, there will be no one alive who has ever known me. That’s when I will be truly dead — when I exist in no one’s memory.

— Irvin D. Yalom

These are the people that made you who you are. Reach out and check up on them. Talk to them. Offer advice if they want it or just be there for them. Just do not forget them — nothing lasts forever.