On Tuesday, June 1, 2021 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Triniti Leona Callender at 11:28 PM…
By: Sabre Hannah Short
Tags: Birth, Story, Homebirth, Birth Story, Pregnancy

On Tuesday, June 1, 2021 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Triniti Leona Callender at 11:28 PM in our apartment here in Toronto. The happiest and physically hardest experience of my life. I was supported by my beloved partner, my midwifery team and my parents, Howard and Heather.

When I discovered I was pregnant nine months ago, the news flooded my world with possibilities. This potential to create new life aligned with my highest self and my wildest dreams of being a mother to someone. A tiny seed was planted in fertile ground to renew. I started to water it every day with my self-healing. Tears, organic foods, vitamins, alkaline water, meditation, talk therapy, couple’s therapy Lovemaking, laughter, self-pleasure, adventure, a hard day’s work, friendship, and more. I thought if I really tune in to how I’m living, maybe she will build cells that encode this in her DNA too.

As my belly expanded for months on end so did my awareness. This is always what I was made to do! Carry the weight folding in generational learnings. My body was in, and is still in, amazing harmony with the universe. I confronted all my fear out of this condition.

I knew homebirth from my mother and that I could do it too one day. I had more tools than I realized. I visited my chiropractor every week, sometimes two times a week for cervical adjustments and nervous system alignment through prenatal care. Dr. Gelber helped us find a birth team at the Midwives Collective of Toronto.

I visualized my delivery for the consecutive months following our discovery. I kept my journey offline until recently because it was all too personal. The days to Triniti‘s due date kept ticking away while close friends and family checked in and arranged gifts for us. Abundant gifts.

As my due date came and left, I struggled to keep patient at times. I was eager to meet her and stare into her eyes. I distracted myself with music. Joe began teaching me the standard “Round Midnight” days before I started to go into labor.

One week past due, I started feeling deep cramps in my belly. The cramps thickened into mild contractions and little did I know I was still days away. Fortunately my parents safely arrived to be here with us by this time. My mom got to see me in this final days of pregnancy which I know it meant a lot to her. My dad was able to adjust me and help us around town with groceries and errands. Truly an imperative help.

On June 1, the birth team wanted to see how her heart rate looked for 20 minutes at the clinic. Dad and Mom drove me across town as contractions started to intensify. Everything looked fine in utero, and I came to realize I was 2 cm dilated! The contractions were coming every 6 to 7 minutes at a mid-level of discomfort. It felt like strong menstrual cramps from the waist down. The midwives asked me to call back when the intervals were closer to five minutes apart, so Joe immediately set up the Birth Pool at home and started filling it with hot water. I got nervous that it was too early. It was all happening in divine timing, but it just felt too fast.

In fact less than an hour after I arrived back home from the clinic, we called the midwives back to report that my contractions were indeed five minutes apart. Time was moving on a continuum. I used low moaning vibrations to soothe myself. The rushes got more intense as my body started to work incredibly hard against time. There was no epidural, IV, or other medical intervention to this process. My mind became my aura and protected me through the pain. There was divine soul connection occurring- an omnipresent safety and serenity as I laboured in the warm water in my living room for hours on end.

Joe supported my every move. He helped the midwives get comfortable in our home. He stroked gentle piano chords as I closed my eyes to focus on the meditation of labor. It got harder, faster, longer, an exponentially more painful. I breathed as smoothly as I could to relax the contractions. I use towels and hot compresses and spooned warm water over my breasts and my stomach and my forehead. The midwives checked the babies heart rate every 15 minutes in between contractions as well as my vitals every hour, I think.

Joe, Devi, Marissa and I were cracking jokes to lighten the mood. When the rushes came on, they got quiet and let me contract in peace. I felt their protective eyes and souls on me at all times, helping me get through each 1 to 2 minute rush. Time continued…

Marissa checked my cervix four hours into labor and reported that I was 8 cm dilated. I got emotional and wept with power. I was so proud of myself. And little did I realize I had only turned one corner…

I navigated each contraction with my breath and thoughts that it would all be worth it. A few more hours past and I needed sustenance. Joe fed me fresh mango and dates, water and he kept me going…but the intensity of each surge increased to the point where I had to exit the pool and find comfort in other positions. I use the walls to hold myself up and the midwives showed Joe some relief techniques around counter pressure. He squeezed my hips and I kept my centre of gravity low so I could balance the intense flow of energy pushing my body beyond all levels of comfort.

I tried various positions – laying in bed (this was the most painful), squatting, hands and knees, to the point of near exhaustion. I commanded for a bowl. A tidal wave of nausea came over me and all of the hydrating elements rejected from my body with a vengeance. I had to move slower and more intentional, and most importantly stay patient…

Devi checked my cervix again. She informed me that I wasn’t exactly 8 cm dilated, I was more like 6 to 7. I could not let that defeat me. It was an accident and a miscalculation by Marissa, and she apologize profusely. I understood and kept moving…

The time left us into the night. I had no idea how close or far away I was to meeting my little girl. I just knew I could not give up. I laboured in the shower and over the toilet for at least four more hours. Physically, I was running out of gas. I begged for wisdom... “I don’t know what else to do,” my small voice pleated. And just beyond that moment I felt the intense rush whisper back to me, “You’re ready.” I expressed to my team that I needed to push. Devi checked my cervix to ensure that I was in fact 10 cm dilated and it was all in my power.

The team quickly shifted their tools and got me back into the living room to squat over a small Birth stool. 10+ hours had passed. The final draw came down to a small reserve tank of energy that appeared within me from a divine source…I pushed hard but I focussed with everything I had.

My water had yet to break. I asked Joe to hand me a mirror so that I could witness my progress. I saw membranes like a small globe encapsulating her head and gasped at the site. Next push, the membranes ruptured and hot clear liquid burst out of me. My labia was stretching, a small sliver at a time. A crescent of black hair was piercing through. I was so close and I deeply knew it. I roared and yodelled Triniti out for the next 15 minutes, (usually a one-two hour process for first timers). Joe was behind me holding me up for support and encouraging me. I felt a brief moment of smallness in myself. I needed reassurance that Joe would catch Triniti. The look on his face was openness and confidence – a belief that we were almost there.

I held down on the stool and pushed with a mighty force. Her left ear and side face became visible and enlarged. I found the invincible power within me. I also felt pressure billowing in my vagina and rectum, so I didn’t rush getting her shoulders out. The midwives kept monitoring her heart rate in my womb. I pushed hard and I could feel my labia stretching to it’s max- like sharp razor blades grazing the sidewalls. Slowly, her shoulders exited my womb and with one final push her lower half and feet were free.

Joe caught her slippery body in his arms and brought her up to mine. Relief.

My eyes welled when she nestled right below my breast (before the placenta was delivered). We just whimpered at her site. She cleared her lungs and began to cry softly. Strong, pink cheeks and an absolutely beautiful gaze. My heart felt so strong with confidence and relief in us. A family.

I quickly delivered the placenta, beautifully intact and in one final push. I leaned back into Joe to breathe my deepest breath yet. The hardest most rewarding day ever.

In those 10 to 12 hours, I felt my divine feminine power guide and protect me. I journey 9 full months into my mind and released all my fears leading up to this glorious day.

Round Midnight, June 1, 2021 changed me. Now watching Triniti change the lives of her close family members is my greatest awakening.

The beginning.