The Christmas Sweater Is The New Party Dress
By: Suman Sandhu
Tags: Women, Fashion, Style, Humour, Christmas

The Christmas Sweater Is The New Party Dress

The only festive jumper edit Yule need this Noël

NEW girl ORDER sweatshirt (Image via Zalando)

It’s only mid-November, but like so many other people, I’m missing the days when socialising was a thing, and thus anticipating Christmas like never before. In fact, the tree and decorations are already up, and my new reassuringly heavy Neom festive candle arrived today. And out of sheer habit, my thoughts have turned to those of a sartorial nature.

Never a quitter, the lack of parties/group dinners/general normality of Christmases Past aren’t going to stop me from attempting to combine feeling festive and fabulous. Purchasing any number of new dresses, jumpsuits, going-out tops and a fancy new clutch may be on hold. But putting the bins out on a Tuesday night, buying sanitary towels from the corner shop, and popping to the letterbox are now all valid reasons for dressing up. Party season is well underway (in an alternate universe). “Bring on the sequins and glitz,” I urge anyone who will listen, including the Amazon delivery driver.

This year, the Christmas jumper is a Forever Sweater. It will keep you warm at your home office, for starters. I can’t be the only one shivering away after 9am when the heating goes off to a normally- empty home. I’m nipping upstairs every 20 minutes to add more layers of clothes, but still can’t be arsed to spend two minutes adjusting the boiler timer. I’m not an engineer, you know! The Christmas jumper is also versatile enough for the excitement of grocery shopping, and will look dazzling and chic in work zoom calls.

In the UK, we have the sensibly named Christmas Jumper Day, when employees and students donate a pound to charity for the privilege of wearing a festive knit. In the US, the same fundraiser exists—except in typically American fashion, they aren’t making any bones of it, and so it is rather unceremoniously labelled Ugly Sweater Day.

I propose, however, that in 2020 there is no space for an ironic or ugly Christmas jumper! Those monstrosities are for when you are able to wear stuff that looks good the rest of the time, and allow yourself one day to look ridiculous, safe in the knowledge that everyone is doing the same. No, this year, the Christmas jumper will be my most fashion-forward item, a colourful and comfortable polyester-free zone. After weeks (months?) of wearing sweatshirts, joggers and leggings, this will be my moment to shine—literally.

Buying your jumper now is also an exercise in frugality. Start wearing it early, and the multiple wears until Noël will make it as hard-working as a multipack of black M&S cotton knickers.

From the waist up, you’ll be Yuletide ready. Waist down? Knock yourself out. You could opt for a black pleated midi (sparkle detail encouraged but optional), jeans, leggings, sweatpants… whatever still fits, really. Pyjama bottoms are my personal favourite for wfh comfort when it’s cold outside, and a cuffed ankle style also prevents me from tripping over myself (I’m short, okay). In fact, all manner of bottoms, from leather shorts to paper-bag jeans, can be worn with this versatile piece that will serve you well over the coming months. Read on for the ultimate Christmas Jumper edit of 2020.

Fair Isle. There is a plethora of Fair Isle patterned knits out there, but this mint green beauty by White Stuff, featuring foxes rather than those show-stealing robins, is one of my favourites. It’s made from super soft lambswool and luxuriously heavyweight. At under £60, it’s a steal. If you have a bigger budget, then this cute pink Comme des Garçons sweater is a winner.

Image via Next

Christmas Co-ordination. As with Halloween decorations, baby showers and hen weekends, us Brits just can’t compete with the seriousness of our American cousins when it comes to the Christmas knit. Capturing the entire family (pets included) in all their holiday sweater glory courtesy of a professional photographer is not unheard of. This is then transformed in to an actual card to send out to friends and relatives far and wide to laugh at. If this is sort of your bag but not quite, then take a look at these subtle variations of the same style from Next. They also have flippy sequins. Who could ask for more?

Dog jumper via H&M

Matchy match with your most loyal friend. Everyone seems to have a lockdown puppy these days, so if you can’t stand your family, then show who your favourite really is.

Scottie Dog jumper from M&S

The Crew Neck. If you don’t have a dog to dress up then never fear, you can still show your love for tamed wolves with this sequined Scottie Dog number from High Street stalwart M&S. I’ve ordered mine already.

Image via Freemans

Dress Up. Why settle for a mere Christmassy top half when you can wear an actual Christmas jumper dress? If you are anything like me, you have 22 pairs of jeans but only one pair that fits well and comfortably. This still doesn’t stop you from wondering if your “vintage” pair of Levi’s will look good with the top you’re wearing. They won’t. They will only serve to remind you that your body shape is very different from a decade ago and it’s high time you had a clear out. So just grab some high denier tights and pop this dress on instead. So much easier. It’s also available from a UK size 6 up to a 24.

Taking the Mickey? This is not a typical Christmas jumper on three accounts; one, it is not a jumper—it is in fact a cardigan; secondly, it is not classically festive, but the star designs alludes to it; and thirdly, it’s Gucci menswear. Buy in a smaller size and treasure forever (the price tag renders it an “investment piece”).

Image via H&M

The Relaxed Sweatshirt. The original Hollywood power couple, Minnie and Mickey, seem to be everywhere. This is a super laid-back look for those who don’t do sequins or snowflakes. Wear it any time of year in fact. Matching grey tracksuit bottoms will look good with it, but only if you brush your hair, pop on some make-up and maybe even wear earrings so you don’t look like you’re off to the Jobcentre. It’s only a tenner from H&M so grab it before it’s gone.

Festive Feminism via The Spark Company

The Ugly Sweater. Who decides how ugly a sweater really is? Not me. All festive knits have the potential to be beautiful in their own unique way. Like other people’s babies. This gorgeous plum-coloured Sleigh the Patriarchy sweater is entirely undeserving of it’s Ugly Christmas Jumper name. Festively feminist and also available in a pretty pink.

Gloves Actually jumper by H&M

Cheesy Puns. Disclosure: Love Actually is one of my favourite Christmas movies. I’m a sucker for a cheesy British romcom where Hugh Grant plays a fumbling posh Nice Guy yet again (although that doesn’t stop me loving him in The Undoing). Add a pun and some sparkle and you get this cute red sweater that is cheap enough to wear again and again—and risk throwing in the washing machine with the rest of the laundry, hoping for the best.

Miu Miu sweater via Net-a-Porter

The Designer Knit. This over-size alpaca blend sweater from Miu Miu is another Fair Isle pattern. But it’s brown! Long! Expensive! You may not be skiing in Aspen while you wear it, but if you accidentally slip over some black ice on your driveway this winter while wearing it, you will look absolutely beautiful while doing so.