can’t handle change
Tags: Teenagers, Heartbreak, Soulmates, Love, Mental Health

Have you ever ended up in a relationship with someone you never expected to be with? I had this crush from eighth grade to senior year. I didn’t really know the person, in fact, the only thing I ever said to him was “hi,” until he invited me to his house for a hookah with his friends. For some reason we ended up together at the end of the summer before my senior year.

I peeked at my phone to see a text from Oliver. It said, “We should really hang before I leave for college!” It made me smile, and I replied with, “We should!”

At the time, I had boyfriend that wouldn’t be too happy if I went and hung out with this guy. Noah was a really good boyfriend, but I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. We were together for about two years, I think. He was super nice and kind of funny, but our political views and morals were completely different. I felt like I was his mom, too. He couldn’t do anything for himself. He was extra weight on my shoulders.

Then, I was planning on going to medical school. I had really big dreams, and had top three schools. He and his family tried to persuade me to go somewhere that he would be able to get into. They were trying to hold me back. I ended up deciding to go to art school, and surprise! None of them supported my decision.

The relationship just kept getting more and more toxic, and was overall becoming bad for my mental health.

When I realized that Oliver was starting to like me, it gave me the courage, the small push, that I needed to end my relationship with Noah. We decided to go on a break, so that I could have a little space and time to myself.

I was finally a free woman, after being tied down for what seemed like forever. I was seventeen, and two years of my life had been controlled basically by one person.

Oliver and I made plans to hang out. He picked me up and we went to the mall. We just window shopped and talked a lot. We talked the whole way home, whenever we weren’t singing along to Dominic Fike. He had the perfect voice. He could hit every note, and his voice just had that sound to it. We learned a lot about each other. He made me laugh so much. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time. I felt like I really knew him, like I had met my soulmate.

We went for a drive once we were back in town, because he wasn’t ready to take me home. The sunset was beautiful that night. Everything was perfect. Once the sun had gone down, he took me to an old parking lot where we walked to the grass with a couple of blankets. We laid down and watched the stars, while music played softly from his car. It was like a scene out of a movie.

Once he took me home, I couldn’t stop replaying the whole thing in my head. I couldn’t stop smiling, until I saw all the texts and missed calls from Noah. He was so mad that I had ignored him all day. We were on a break, though. He knew that I wanted space, and that I didn’t have to answer to him. The only reason I agreed to a break was to shut him up. I honestly didn’t have any desire to get back together. We were complete opposites, and to be honest, you don’t owe anyone any kind of explanation. Your happiness comes first. My happiness came first, after so long of putting his before mine.

chapter two

Oliver and I ended up hanging out again after that night.

“How’s your day?” was a text from a Noah.

I rolled my eyes, “Good, hbu?”

I just wanted to be left alone. His life revolved around me, and I just didn’t feel the same way. My phone buzzed and I groaned, because I was expecting another text from Noah. It was actually Oliver this time.

I unlocked my phone and opened my messages.

“Hookah?”

I smiled and replied “on my way.”

I didn’t usually do tobacco, but the thought of hanging out with him again was giving my butterflies. I got ready as fast as I could and drove to his house. When I pulled in the driveway, he came from the side of his house to my car.

He opened my door for me, and we walked to his backyard together.

His backyard was so pretty, and so cozy. There were a few chairs, a matching couch, and a table with the hookah on top. Pretty lights hung all over the patio, lighting up the shaded area.

I sat down in one of the chairs, while he walked to the door.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and went inside.

I looked at my phone, and saw a text from Noah.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Hanging out with Oliver,” I replied heartlessly.

“I don’t understand how you say you want time to yourself, and then hang out with multiple people.”

“I wanted space from you, not the rest of the world. You’re suffocating me.”

“What are you guys doing?” he questioned.

“Shopping.”

Just then, Oliver came back outside with the tobacco. I turned my phone off and put it in my pocket. He held up two containers.

“Which one? Green apple or mint?” he asked.

“Green apple,” I answered.

He set everything up and sat in the chair next to me. We talked for a while, and when it started getting dark, we went inside.

Oliver turned on Stranger Things, and changed the color of the lamp to purple. We sat on the couch and watched. He started scooting closer and closer, until he finally grabbed my pinky with his. He held my hand, and we cuddled.

I was so happy and excited that I felt sick. I never wanted to leave that spot. None of it seemed real. He seemed far too good for me. He was a talented artist, and I had just started. He was so pretty, and I was breaking out and starving myself. I felt inferior to him. Oliver had so many interesting things about him, I thought I’d never be able to compare. But that was okay, because he liked me. That’s all that mattered at that moment.

I didn’t leave until almost midnight. My dad texted me and asked when I would be home, which was my cue. Leaving was so hard. We hugged for a solid minute, so I know he had to feel my heartbeat. It was going crazy.

The whole way home, I listened to his playlist to learn his favorite songs.