Yes, I Want To Scream At People Who Defy COVID-19 Rules
By: John Devore
Tags: Feelings, Anger, Emotions, Men, Masculinity

Yes, I Want To Scream At People Who Defy COVID-19 Rules

I have been thinking about the recent viral audio clip of megastar Tom Cruise cursing at crew members who broke COVID-19 safety protocols on the London set of the next Mission: Impossible sequel.

He is clearly a dude with a temper and I relate to that. It’s also clear he’s quite practiced at bawling people out — you can bet he’s incinerated a hotel manager over the phone because the pillows in his suite weren’t properly fluffed.

I’m not suggesting I’m anything like Tom Cruise, by the way. I just identify with dudes blowing their fuses. I’m not a millionaire celebrity nor am I a Hollywood legend nor am I an Operating Thetan Level Eight. I’m just a man pointing at another man. I’m ashamed to admit it but I’ve gotten furious at people who did not deserve it.

But I’ve also, very rarely, been righteous. A guy can get lucky, you know?

In the leaked tape Cruise just goes apeshit on a pair of people who were standing too close together and not social distancing. For three whole minutes, Tom Cruise just goes off. “If I see you do it again you’re fucking gone,” he shouts. “We are creating thousands of jobs, you motherfuckers. I don’t ever want to see it again. Ever!”

He lambasts these two and everyone listening. The pandemic has ravaged many industries, including the film industry. The very lucrative Mission: Impossible movies are being made under strict rules. Not everyone is as fortunate as the cast and crew of Cruise’s blockbuster franchise.

COVID-19 is a disaster for Hollywood and Cruise’s set is a sport of elite experiment in safe filmmaking while a deadly global virus runs rampant.

During the rant Cruise makes great points, you know? As one of the executive producers, he’s responsible for the livings of a great number of people. These film productions are like entire mini-economies supporting hundreds of people, and their families. One positive COVID test could threaten the livelihoods of everyone involved.

But what I’ve been thinking about is how good it feels to get angry. Just listening, I felt a small rush. Fuck yeah, tell those knuckleheads off! They should be taking this seriously! That’s right, Tom, blast them. Fight the good fight.

There is a petty part of me that would love to go Hulk on dipshits who won’t wear a mask but like squirting ketchup on a shoe. You can smother a shoe in ketchup the way you do a hot dog but it’s still a shoe. In this metaphor, anger is ketchup.

And then I thought: How many times has he gotten pissed for no good reason. Which led me to my next thought bubble: How many times have I gotten bent out of shape just because I could?

I’m a man who wrestles with his anger. I am most comfortable with two emotions: One is anger and the other is grinding my teeth. For years I truly believed that anger was how you got things done. As if trains run on screams or phones can be charged wireless via tightly clenched fists. There was a part of me that wanted to believe that shaking a broken toaster would magically fix that toaster.

I once had an upstairs neighbor who would work out late at night using a noisy rowing machine. There were times I would literally shake my fist at the ceiling like I was trying to pick a fight with God while just vomiting profanities like hot lava. I would get so worked up and, you know, every time he’d just row faster.

That was years ago. LOL!

But I have learned in that time that my temper is a sort of poker tell. It’s how I know I’m scared or sad. There are many wonderful things about being a man but we are poorly served by society in many ways. So many. I can’t get into them all. One way is we’re told that anger is might. That an angry man is a force of nature. That he is strong. Those veins that pop out on your head when you’re losing your shit? They’re meat lightening, not potential signs of a cardiac event.

The truth is anger is the loss of control. It is the ugly face of weakness. When a person is lost in their rage they are lost emotionally. If you ever see me get mad you can bet I’m wrestling with feelings that I don’t know what to do with. I have spent years in therapy talking about how my anger keeps me from connecting with those I love. My anger has also nuked relationships with people I love. My anger has resulted in emotional casualties. I have said things while incensed that no apology can make right. There are some wounds that can’t be healed, at least not by the person who caused them. Trust me, life is lighter without those kinds of burdens/

I have made some progress over the years but I will spend the rest of my life slowly, mindfully, breathing in, and breathing out and trying not to say and do things I will regret.

I hope the Mission: Impossible movies finish filming without anyone getting sick. I actually like those movies. They have become, improbably, favorites of mine. I look forward to Ethan Hunt’s increasingly insane adventures the same way I eagerly anticipate new Batman and Bond films. I also love how these movies have turned 58-year-old Tom Cruise into a sort of super stunt man with perfect teeth.

But as an angry man, I have to listen to those tapes and wonder if there are other ways to deal with conflict or situations beyond your control. It is reasonable to express frustration if people who work for you are defying regulations meant to protect others. It is acceptable to warn them there are consequences!

I just think angry dudes should think twice before indulging in rage. And you know who you are. You’re probably a man, but dangerous tempers are not specific to just one gender. I do feel, however, that men are encouraged to play with anger more than women. I think men are raised to hide their fears and vulnerabilities behind fireballs of anger. But smacking around a broken toaster does not fix it. It just breaks it more.