Pursuing Your Passions Doesn’t Have to Be About Profits
By: Ashley Hague
Tags: Productivity, Personal Growth, Passion, Writing

“Turn your passion into a money-making opportunity.” How many times have you heard that? Bloggers, YouTubers, and life coaches love to tout this idea as a great solution to our financial woes. The “side-hustle” and the “gig economy” are all ways to do this, people say.

Most of the time, I just want to relax, and express myself creatively. When did my hobbies become about monetization? Well, when wages started to stagnate, student loans went unpaid, and retirement seemed impossible. That’s when.

It’s when the notion of always hustling took over. Having a nine-to-five is great. Steady employment with a stable income is something many of us want. But sometimes it’s not enough. With almost six figures of student loan debt and little income coming in, I understand this.

I fill my free-time with low-paying jobs on Upwork and other content mills. I write basic ad copy for $.05 a word. I constantly plan and re-plan about how I can use my skills to make more money. Should I start a blog? A Youtube channel? A digital marketing firm? And I try to upskill as much as possible, so I never have to rely (and therefore pay) others for their share of the work.

This all helps me earn more income, but it also has a negative effect: I can never enjoy my passion or even relax.

When I try to write for fun, my brain freezes up. The guilt settles in and I get writer’s block. I look at my money making goals and realize there is no time for silly little stories.

Moreover, whenever I have downtime and decide to flip on Netflix or complete a puzzle, my anxiety kicks in. A voice in the back of my head tells me I’m wasting time, not trying hard enough. A heavy weight forms in the pit of my stomach, making it hard to unwind. And the harder I try, the worst the feeling gets.

But studies have shown us, again and again, that relaxation is important to function as a normal person. Relaxing and working less resets stress levels, makes it easier to sleep, and boosts creativity. All the things we should want during our normal, productive hours.

This is proven in studies, but also is true anecdotally: The more I try and force productivity, the less productive I become. But it’s so engrained in me to think it’s never enough.

So how can we shake it?

It’s hard when we constantly consume media about the hustlers and the entrepreneurs out there making huge salaries off their passions. We want to be like them, earning good money for doing what we love.

But when we force something so much, it no longer becomes enjoyable. Writing no longer became something I enjoyed because I was no longer writing what I liked. I was writing for companies and people I will never meet and who will replace me in a heartbeat, for a better price.

It’s taken several years for me to realize what has happened. I’ve been so consumed with becoming that person, I forgot what it’s like to enjoy my passion. To enjoy writing and do it for fun. I don’t have the answers on how to fully shake it, but I do know what works for me.

Set Boundaries

I have set boundaries with myself. When and where I am allowed to work. It varies each day, but no more than eight hours a day, like a normal person. If it’s been eight hours, I am not allowed to work. Or think about working. Or feel guilty for not working. This allows me time to relax, be active, or write for fun. It hasn’t totally stopped the guilty feeling, but it reduces it significantly.

Meditate

I used to hate the idea of meditation. Sitting in silence is just another way of being unproductive. But now I’ve embraced in and realized how great it can be. Not only does it increase my creativity, it also has great physiological affects. I mostly do moving meditation to engage my body as well as my mind. Even a few minutes a day helps clear the negativity taking space in my mind.

Enjoy My Passion Again

Another thing I’ve finally started to do again was write without purpose. I’ve upgraded the wide-ruled paper with a keyboard and a blank Word doc. For November, I am participating in NaNoWriMo, a month-long project to finish a novel. Thousands of people around the world join each year with the goal to write 50,000 words in a month. Some people are very competitive, but most are just in it for fun, like me. So far, I am very far behind at only 6,500 words. But I don’t care. Because I have finally embraced the creative writing I have denied myself for years.

A few days into the month, I started thinking about how I could eventually pitch this novel to publishers. Old habits die hard, I suppose. And someday, I might try and make something out of it. I would love to get paid for my creative storytelling. But for now, I want to focus on the process, not the end goal. I want to feel the joy I used to feel when crafting a story, without profits on my mind.

Because even if I never make a living from my storytelling, it’s still worth pursuing. The joy and calm it provides me is worth more than any dollar amount. It’s time to stop thinking about all our passions as profit-making devices, and start to learn how to embrace being unproductive, even if just for a little bit.