The Language Behind Rape
By: Cynthia Kinyera
Tags: Women, Language, Rape, Rape Culture, Men

“Girls fall to pandemic pregnancies as schools reopen”.

“Over 4000 school girls impregnated in Northern Uganda amid COVID-19 lockdown”.

“1,833 girls impregnated in 90 days in Tororo”.

Sound familiar? These are all headlines published in the Ugandan news media during the last two years. If you look closely, you’ll notice that these headlines have two things in common. First, they all report news of widespread teenage pregnancies in Uganda during the pandemic. Second, and more importantly, they are all phrased in such a way that perpetuates rape culture.

Language shapes the world we live in. It moulds personal both personal perspectives and general public opinion. Linguists have long spoken of how the words we use help determine our perception of reality. Rape culture is no exception.

Is it That Big of a Deal Though?

Image by Jaime Chandra & Cervix for 11thPrincipleConsent.org

When we speak of rape culture, people usually only envision rape itself. However, rape culture involves a whole array of actions and ideologies that contribute to sexual violence in society. The image above is the Rape Culture Pyramid, an illustration by the organisation 11th Principle: Consent!. It shows some of the different behaviours that make up rape culture. The actions at the bottom of the pyramid, including use of sexist language, may seem passive and innocent at first glance but actually have disastrous effects.

According to the pyramid, normalisation leads to degradation which leads to assault. Allow me to illustrate. Let’s say X, Y and Z are three men working in the same company. X loves to talk about how he’d like to have sex with his women colleagues, even when his comments make them uncomfortable. He makes lots of jokes about how the women at the office are better suited for the bedroom than corporate work. Everyone tolerates how X speaks, some people even follow his example by making similar comments, so the idea that women are nothing more than sexual objects becomes normal at the company. This language normalised a sexist way of thinking in the company.

Now that sexism is normalised, degradation is the next step. Y agrees with X’s way of thinking. He begins to insult women in the office more directly, and eventually, he starts groping the breasts of some co-workers. This is degradation. After all, the language used in the office lets him believe such behaviour is justifiable. Y is never punished since the sexist environment makes the boss think that the women are only exaggerating what happened.

Unknown to both X and Y, their behaviour has planted a seed in the mind of Z. Z has now been surrounded by a culture that glorifies objectifying women. He has seen X and Y continue to get away without punishment. Slowly, Z begins to think that it is his right to get sexual favours from the women in his office. A few months later, everyone is shocked to hear that Z has raped a woman. This is assault.

But should they be shocked?

Out of these three men, only Z is a rapist. But all three men have contributed to rape culture, and so have their other colleagues who tolerated their behaviour. They created an environment that made one man so comfortable with dehumanising women that he committed rape. You may not be a rapist yourself, but your words could encourage someone else who is. Tolerating the actions at the bottom of the pyramid supports the actions at the top of the pyramid.

A lot of people are under the impression that while language affects rape culture, its impact is minimal. However, even though a serial rapist is objectively worse than someone who tells rape jokes, that does not mean telling rape jokes is harmless.

Numerous scientific studies have been made on how sexist language affects human behaviour. A 2017 study by researcher Nalyn Sriwattanakomen concluded that sexist humour can indeed influence the way that people think and feel about rape victims, notably influencing hostile attitudes towards women. Consistently using sexist language creates an environment in which sexual violence is considered a norm. It moulds an atmosphere in which rape is easy to ignore or excuse. It essentially supports rape by making it easier for rapists to get away, and letting rapists feel their actions are justified.

Once a rape happens, it is difficult for victims to receive justice because authority figures, the police and the judicial system are all influenced by rape culture. Since public opinion tolerates sexual violence and blames victims, it’s difficult to get the proper authorities to punish the perpetrators. And since few ever face consequences, it all circles back to more sexual violence being committed.

On top of that, language condoning rape creates continued trauma for survivors of sexual violence. Not only do they have to live with the experience of being violated, they also have to hear people make sexist remarks and rape jokes for the rest of their lives.

Language in the Media

In the world of news, words are currency. Media outlets often use the most attractive headlines to grab the reader’s attention. Unfortunately, when it comes to reporting on sexual violence, a lot of these headlines end up supporting rape culture.

The way we phrase statements influences how we understand events. If I say “The TV broke”, the focus is on the TV. It implies that the TV broke of its own accord. So either there was something wrong with the TV, perhaps it was faulty, or there was an accident of some kind. However, if I say “Dave broke the TV”, a new understanding comes forth. It is clear who broke the TV, and therefore we can hold them responsible.

Let’s apply this to the headline “Girls fall to pandemic pregnancies as schools reopen” as an example. It draws the focus away from the fact that rapists violated the vast majority of these girls. The choice of words shifts the reader’s interest to the victims and completely omits the perpetrators. There is no mention of who impregnated these girls in the first place. Teenage girls do not simply “fall” pregnant, as if by divine intervention. The vast majority of them were raped by grown men. When we conveniently omit the perpetrators, the story centres on the victims and implies they are to blame. This is just one of the many ways the media downplays the severity of sexual violence.

In cases of sexual assault, it is more appropriate to centre headlines on either the assault or the assaulters. The public attitude towards rape might be different if newspapers had headlines like “Rapists target vulnerable teenagers in this town” or “Paedophile teachers become rampant in primary schools” instead of “Teenage girls fall pregnant”.

We can’t fight rape if we refuse to talk about rapists.

Individual Responsibility

As much as the media has a bigger impact on rape culture than most individuals, it is important that we all try to pay greater attention to how we talk about sexual violence. It’s still considered taboo to discuss sexual violence in most Ugandan circles, and when people do, they tend to rely heavily on sugar-coating it to avoid any social awkwardness. But by avoiding discussing these topics properly, we only add to the problem. Sometimes we need to say uncomfortable things if we want society to improve at all. We can’t keep hiding behind euphemisms forever.

We must remember that promoting rape culture is not something only done by bad or violent people. Men, women, progressive, conservative, educated, uneducated; anyone could do it.

Most of us are guilty of unknowingly using harmful language one time or the other, and it’s important to work on unlearning certain behaviour.

Misplaced Blame

The thing about rape is that it never just happens. “Must we point fingers?” you ask, and to that I say yes, yes we must. Sexual violence is an extremely traumatising experience for victims, and it is unjust to constantly protect the perpetrators by blaming everyone and everything else other than the people actually responsible.

To keep rape culture alive, rapists and rape apologists use language to shift blame. The most common use is victim-blaming and slut-shaming.

She wouldn't have been raped if she didn’t dress like that.

What was she doing at his house anyway?

But boys can’t get raped, he must have wanted it.

By far, the most laughable excuse is when people accept a rapist is to blame but they try to claim the rapist does not deserve to take responsibility for their actions.

You can’t ruin his reputation like this, he has such a promising future.

Everyone makes mistakes.

People have been recycling the same old excuses for (literally) hundreds of years. The fact is that even women who cover themselves from head to toe are still raped. The fact is that a lot of men still see women as objects to be used and discarded. The fact is that grown men still manipulate and threaten schoolgirls, yet somehow these literal children carry the blame for getting pregnant.

As writer Rebekah Kuschmider aptly put, “The root cause of rape is rapists, not short skirts, push up bras, or tight pants.”

One Joke Too Many

Recently, we all received news of Uganda taking in 2000 Afghan refugees fleeing the Taliban’s takeover of the Afghanistan government. Surprisingly, instead of constructive commentary or criticism, the overwhelming reaction of Ugandans on Twitter (or the UOT as we’re called) was to crack jokes about the situation. Well, at least the jokes were tasteful, right? Unfortunately, not.

A lot of them were along the lines of Ugandans using the opportunity to marry or date the incoming Afghan refugees. Afghan women are escaping a society that threatens to force them into unwanted marriage and subservience, so imagine what it would be like to be an Afghan hearing Ugandans joke about doing the same once they get here.

This is a typical instance of Ugandans using “dark humour” to cope with the difficulties of life. And look, I get it. Sometimes reality is so bad that the only thing you can do is laugh just to stop yourself from crying. But laughing about your own pain is entirely different from laughing about the pain of others. Even though the intention behind your jokes is not malicious, the jokes still have the power to cause real harm.

A lot of violence is hidden behind a thin veil of supposed “dark humour”. The thing is, it’s not really funny if it actively traumatises people. It’s not really a good joke if it objectifies and humiliates vulnerable people who were just minding their business. We need to draw the line somewhere. We as a society need to understand that using sexist humour as a coping mechanism has real-life consequences.

Beware of Misdirected Outrage

There will always be that one guy shouting “Oh so we can’t even talk to women anymore???”.

As a response to women’s pleas about the harmful language surrounding sexual assault, some people react by making gross exaggerations to detract from the message being spread.

Nobody is asking men to stop speaking to or about women. Nobody is asking people to never tell jokes. We are simply asking people to realise that their words affect others. The false outrage at men being “silenced” or “policed” is meant to distract you and misdirect you. It’s meant to paint the feminist movement as something ridiculous and unreasonable. It’s meant to make you focus on petty arguments and forget about the actual problem; sexual violence.

The Way Forward

Media organisations and public figures are well aware of the power of their words. In spite of the many cases of sexist language used by the media, a few media outlets are trying to turn the tide. I spoke to Florence Kakatshozi, a Ugandan journalist and co-founder of The EA Scene, a digital magazine covering the creative scene of East Africa. This is what she had to say about how they, as part of the media, avoid perpetuating rape culture;

“It’s pretty upsetting to see professionally trained journalists and newsrooms using problematic language when telling stories about abuse and even proceeding to make fun of sexual assault for clout. How we deal with this at EA Scene is by encouraging our editors, contributors and writers to avoid the male gaze when telling stories, we instead tell the stories from the perspective of the victim.”

Even as individuals, we all have a part to play. And believe me, I get it; changing the way you speak can be hard. But together, we can use language for good.