Why Intelligent People Are So Lonely
By: Lukas Schwekendiek
Tags: Self Improvement, Intelligence, Understanding, Loneliness, Lonely

Part of the deal of being intelligent is that you usually know more than most.

Intelligent people often know more about their own beliefs, they dictate their own logic and have a better grasp on their life, at least most of the time.

Most of the time they reason their problems away or get to a pretty accurate actionable step sooner than others.

All of this makes it very difficult to do the one thing they need to do to be less lonely: Trust others.

Due to their large self-reliance they have grown up to believe that they are the best person to help themselves, which is proven every time they interact with someone less intelligent than them. Intelligent people were often smart enough to make it through their life on their own thus far and every time they have trusted people, they were met with disappointment.

The other people did not solve their problem when they entrusted them with it, nor did they help as accurately or quickly as they think they could have done themselves.

When their friends and family gave them advice it was something they’ve heard before, and some of the things they say just did not make any sense at all, most likely because they already thought a couple steps further ahead themselves.

But, most of all, it’s just that other people are so slow.

Trusting others would involve slowing down, thinking less and dumbing ones own, overcomplicated, problems down to even be able to get a take on them. And even when one does this, the response is usually generic enough to understand the other person didn’t care or get it at all.

Because of all of this it becomes very difficult to put their faith in other people when they do have problems, as there is seemingly nothing they gain from it and only loose time.

Intelligent people do not share their innermost fears because they cannot believe in others to really help them out, as they often do not feel that others can relate to them.

Whereas most people of average intelligence are able to relate to others far better and learn the value of companionship and learn that it is okay to rely on the support of others, because they cannot do everything on their own, intelligent people carry a sense of pride in their problem-solving ability!

When they face problems they cannot handle on their own they ask for help and go through life as a group rather than alone!

They share, help, get helped and walk through life hand in hand.

Intelligent people rely on themselves so much that it becomes a problem because they forget that they are not alone!

They forget that intelligence does not equal wisdom, and that just because they are intelligent enough to get through life does not mean that they found the best way possible.

And while others often cannot directly help them, intelligent people still miss the fact that just talking about their problems with someone, whether they understand or not, allows them to see the problem from a different angle, to share their burden with someone, and to see that someone else does care.

Besides, just because someone did not manage to help them with a problem before, does not mean they cannot help with this one.

Life is not linear.

Someone else may be way more experienced with certain problems, and seem miles behind with others.

There are many more facets to life and many more ways to be intelligent.

Something that you might be stuck on in life, may seem like not even a hurdle to someone else whos in a very different walk of life. Remember that there is always something to learn from everyone.

If you are one of those intelligent people that prides themselves in their ability to overcome their own problems remember that there are people of every walk of life that are closer to you than you think and that know exactly what you have been going through as they have experienced it themselves.

But to find those people you have to open yourself up and allow yourself to share your innermost self!

It’s not enough to share the basics!

Let other people know who you really are, put your faith in others, relinquish a bit of control and share yourself with the people around you and you will gain companions for life!

You are not alone. But you have to see past your own intellect and understand that it is not intelligence that allows you to solve the various problems but wisdom gathered from experiences.

We all walk through life looking for Meaning, Happiness and Fulfillment. No one, no matter how smart or dumb, is exempt from that.

Try to find the similarities you have in others instead of always looking at what sets you apart. This way you connect more with those around you and allow them to connect more with you.

And remember that sometimes it’s not about getting help or about going further, but just about having someone to share your burden.

The other person does not have to understand why you are miserable or lonely or afraid or whatever; all they have to understand is that you do feel that way and acknowledge it.

If you can find someone that sees you there you will feel much more understood.