About Me — Sylvia L.. A dreamer and writer with a law degree…
By: Sylvia L. Inthoughtful
Tags: Personal, Introduction, Life, Self, About Me

About Me — Sylvia L.

I have always been a better listener than a talker. I like to process what I hear before I speak. And because of that, I am often misunderstood. Unless you are close to me, you would think that I am a shy person.

I used to be unkind to myself for being like this. Feeling misunderstood gives me anxiety. I am a Gemini. I can change my mind about something like how day turns to night. The only way to love me is to accept that I can have mixed feelings about everything.

But I am a loyal partner and friend. If I love you, that means there is something about you that makes me want you around. And I would be there for you, always. I keep my circle small.

People think I am fickle. I prefer the term, flexible. I know what I want. Just not in the way that most people do. After all, I have gone this far in life haven’t I?

I tend to consider a world of possibilities and worst-case scenarios before making a decision. Once I have made up my mind, nothing can stop me.

Wisdom comes with age. Instead of beating myself up for creating my own uncertainties like how I used to, I accept them fully and allow myself to feel what I feel. If something feels right at that moment, it most probably is. Everything in life is temporary and so is a moment.

When I was 18, I told my father that I wanted to study in the U.S. and I did. Halfway through, I changed my mind and told him that I wanted to pursue a law degree in the U.K. I graduated and continued to obtain qualifications to practise law. I would not be where I am today without his support.

Unfortunately, my father passed away when I was 28. My biggest regret in life is not being able to take care of him and repay him for everything that he has done for me. At that time, I was only beginning a stable career.

Later, I pursued an M.B.A and opened up to new possibilities. Going to business school changed my life. The intensity from attending classes again, completing demanding course work, and measuring up against some of the brightest and most interesting people that I have ever known forced me to reevaluate everything that I know. I turned up on the other side a stronger, better, and more knowledgeable person. I then worked my way up and achieved everything I wanted when I was younger.

But life has other plans for me.

I never thought I would find someone whom I would want to marry. Every day, I am so grateful that he found me. What people say is true — when you know, you know.

I never thought I would experience a miscarriage. Life stood still for a while before I could feel normal again.

I never thought I would want a career change which questioned my self-worth after 35. But if my life experience has taught me anything, it is that I thrive in uncertainties.

And I went through all three above when the world succumbed to a pandemic.

A series of significant life’s ups and downs in a single year led me to rediscover my love for writing. Writing has helped me to get through every low point in my life. Reading stories of others also brings inspiration. That is how I started writing on Medium. Through writing, we connect and feel connected with those who have walked the path before us.

These days, I dream about building a home with the love of my life, reestablishing my career path, and taking my mom for holidays to destinations we have never been to before she gets older.

I learnt to trust the process of becoming me. Life is unpredictable and that is what makes it interesting. If you can accept that, then you can accept me.