“Amor fati” or How to Embrace Every Moment
By: Rodrigo Aronas
Tags: Stoicism, Mental Health, Leadership, Wellbeing, Stillness

During the last few weeks, I’ve been reflecting a lot about 2020 and thinking about those many challenges in my personal and professional life and how I dealt with them to see what would I do differently if I had the chance, and what I can learn from them.

One of the things I realized is that I’ve given myself a lot of gifts this year by reacting to challenges (not all of them, for sure) in a positive way and trying to make the most out of them. I realized that any other time, I would have reacted much more negatively to some things that happened, but this year I did not. So, I tried to trace the WHY of this. What changed and what caused that change? Inevitably, that took me to Stoicism and studying to become an ontological coach (which will share more in the near future)

Something that really changed my life for good this year, was to read and study Stoicism philosophy. By doing that, I read, learned, and embodied the “amor fati” mindset, among other things.

Amor Fati is Latin for “Love of fate” and to understand what it means, I wanted to share two quotes.

“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy”, Epictetus (Stoic Philosopher) “[…] we need to accept the fact that all events occur for a reason, and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive”, Robert Greene (48 Laws of Power, Mastery)

As the bestselling author, Ryan Holiday puts it well here, amor fati is not about saying “I’m OK with this” nor “I feel good about this”, but having a mindset that allows us to make the best out of it. The ending of Robert Greene’s quote refers specifically to that mindset “[..] it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive”.

Viktor Frankl, an Auschwitz survivor, put it very clear:

“You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.”

I’ve found this mindset so life-changing that sometimes I’m awed about the power of such a thing. I’ve been talking about it with friends and family and every day, when I meditate I try to center myself on this mindset.

Embracing every moment, and trying to make the best out of it is definitely easier when the challenge is not a very sad or terrible one, like the loss of a dear one. In those cases, grief, tears, and/or anger are valid initial responses to it. However, when we resist things that already happened, or when we get stuck on them, it leads to unnecessary suffering. I know this sounds much easier said than done, and yes, you are correct. It is.

In this challenging 2020, I’ve found peace with Stoicism and with amor fati. By focusing on things I control and not dwelling or suffering on things that I cannot control or already happened, I found calm, and stillness during a very complicated year.

It was, and it is not easy, but centering (meditation) and journaling helped me come back to a place where I could be open to new opportunities, new challenges, and growth. Fortunately, I can say that I’m ending the year with several things to celebrate and, most of them came out of the blue — like the new role I’m starting next week. Being open to embracing the moment, was what helped me achieve that.

I hope you’ve found some peace and joy in your 2020. If not, I encourage you to try the amor fati mindset. It will definitely help you have a brighter 2021.