A Public Diary During the Coronavirus/COVID-19 Pandemic ~ Day 84
By: Joe Culhane
Tags: BlackLivesMatter, Poetry, Love, Covid Diaries, Pandemic Diaries

Transformation toppling

tipping point taking

the tyranny of police

and white supremacy

down into a back corner

of our collective story

so very rapidly

Amazingly among

the white population

a fickle debate still

softly rages on where

all reasonable rationale

is thrown out the window

as folks try and argue that

not only does systemic racism

not exist but that white privilege

doesn’t either, can you believe that shit?

This is where we’re at though

a volatile and dangerous space

where opinions trump truth

and the parade of propaganda

marches on in a fascist guise

through a path cleared by

a egotistical, mentally unhinged

leader who used tear gas and force

to clear a path for a photo opp

There is no end in sight

though we can see clearly now

that the paradigms are shifting

and that protesting and civil discourse

are working for peace and justice

this has become a sustained uprising

it’s scary but also damn exciting

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It’s June 7th, 2020, a Sunday here in Portland, Oregon. Today we went out and stood and chanted in solidarity with a few hundred other folks right here in our neighborhood which was a great way to spend, as they say, a part of our day. This energetic shift in our human story is happening faster and faster and it is wild to be a part of the ride. Today in Minneapolis there was word coming out from the political leadership that they are actually going to work towards dismantling the police force. This is incredible and the precedent this action will set, if it indeed takes place, is going to ripple out and become a true turning point in the actual, factual dismantling of our systems of oppression. It has hardly sank in and as I write these words I have to take deep breathes to not feel overwhelmed with this realization.

What has taken place in the last two weeks is damn encouraging. The uprising is shifting policy and shaking the fickle foundation of this country to its core right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if some outrageous circumstances occur with Donald Trump and the White House in the coming days and weeks. If this sustained uprising continues, the pressure that will be felt at all levels of police and their connected power structures, are going to be forced into a place of implosion and collapse. I don’t know if the chance of DTJ being ousted from the White House and from his presidency is on the table in any clear way at the moment but it is starting to feel like at some point the demands and collective will of the people may just be enough to actually topple this current administration, before the election. What that would look like in reality is hard to imagine though it is not out of the realm of possibility with how fast shit is moving these days.

Emotions are running high, exhaustion is happening en masse, fear, worry, doubt, confusion, and a general unsettled feeling is in the air from sea to shining sea. This is what revolutions look like. Or, it is a big part of what a revolution looks like in hindsight when looking back at when things in fact changed in significant ways. We’re in the midst of that right now it would seem. And the pandemic goes on. The economic collapse continues. The environmental and climate chaos ensues. We are swirling in it all. It is happening every which way we look. How to stay calm and grounded during this? For me, it is the daily yoga and daily writing practices that hold me together, just barely. I wear thin at times though thankfully, I do have the privilege and ability to rest and be in a setting that is comfortable, reasonably safe, and filled with good food, clean water, and loving family. This is not the case for so many and indeed, it is these things that I have to look at and take stock in as I work towards being a sincere ally to the causes that are taking place right now. How much am I willing to sacrifice? What level of engagement do I deem is enough? Where do I draw the line of letting my comfort and fear dictate what degree of dedication I put forth to this just cause?

I have this beautiful life, so much to be grateful for. It has all come at some great cost and largely to some extent at the loss for someone else along the way. That is to say, what we have here in this house, in my life, has been provided for us through systems like capitalism which perpetuate the systemic robbery of nature, human capital consumed at poverty wage rates, and in inequitable ways that cannot easily be reasonably explained or justified as things I or we deserve. And by deserve I mean deserve instead of somebody else. Because that is the way it works in our economic and social contracts. There is no system in place that allows for everyone to have an equal opportunity to live the comfortable lifestyle that I have. Not even close. And I just spent a portion of this day trying to carry on some sort of civil discourse with some white guys who were trying to claim that systemic racism isn’t a thing and that white privilege is a made up thing.

But this is where we’re at. This is the world presently. They began to get hostile and angry with me for my position and I recently concluded that my dedication to these subjects has been in large part connected to studying these topics in school. I have this feeling that they’ll be coming back with some dismissive response that states I’ve been brainwashed and fooled into thinking the way I think. I will not devote too much time to this back and forth beyond what I have, while I do wish to dedicate a portion of my energy specifically to engaging with my fellow white folks, there seems to be a point where rational discussion is out of the question and hate and fear take over and then it just gets ugly. I will not participate in that. I will continue to refine my responses and work to make them as inclusive and non-abrasive as possible so that those who hold different beliefs and viewpoints then I can maybe see the perspective I’m coming from a bit better.

That was my takeaway from this interaction today. I got to try some debate tactics that ultimately didn’t pan out that well for me so I will do my best to work things from different angles in the future. This was a great opportunity for learning how to better communicate and I can see how engaging on occasion in more interactions like this can be of some benefit. I will be careful though not to just spiral out and get all emotionally connected to what many would consider engaging with a troll. Anyways, I took the bait today and it lead to this enlightening back and forth. I learned more about some of DJT’s close compatriots and what they are pushing. I watched a fascinating video called: Charlie Kirk DISMANTLES Viral Systemic Racism Video. It was really incredible to watch. The guy was so damn cocksure about what he was talking about and it was quite a sight to behold. I also had never heard of this person before and learned he is tight with DJT and is of the Christian persuasion in a real passionate and concerning way. His video, that is only a day or two old now has 1.3 million views which is rather unsettling as well. It means there are plenty of folks out there eating up his white ranting and buying the baloney he’s selling. This is where we’re at.

Which means, we still of course have so much work to do. And that is what’s up. The path towards justice is filled with actual factual haters and we will have to navigate our way through them and all the anger and violence and resistance to the resistance that arises as this all unfolds. And with that thought, I shall call it a night and go get in bed here to rest my head, body, and soul. Love, love, love…