I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas
By: Courtney Stars
Tags: Family, Culture, Christmas, Race, Holidays

“Hang all the mistletoe. I want to get to know you better…this Christmas.” -This Christmas, by Donny Hathaway

This week, Black Twitter provided us with yet another entertaining gift we did not deserve: the hashtag #BlackFamous.

Being black famous means that someone is a household name to black folks, but that others probably have no clue who that person is. Apparently, the quintessential example of a black famous person is Frankie Beverly. You can hear his vocal stylings as the lead singer of the R&B/Soul powerhouse group, Maze.

My white boyfriend had dinner with his black best friend last night — a saxophonist who plays middle-aged nightclubs where people like music like…well, music like Maze.

When discussing the hashtag black famous, he told my guy:

“It’s Black Law that when two or more of us are gathered together, ‘Before I Let Go’ must be played. When I play it at black funerals the corpse gets up and dances.”

With the holiday season upon us, I mindlessly scrolled through Twitter and an urgent question popped into my head: “Is the song ‘This Christmas’ black famous?”

What about black Christmas songs like the Jackson 5’s version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town?” Or Stevie Wonder’s “One Little Christmas Tree?” How ‘bout “Give Love on Christmas Day?”

Do non-black families not close their eyes and sway to the Temptations version of “Silent Night?” Do their not dads imitate the deep bass voice of Melvin Franklin wishing us “Merry Christmas, from the Temptations.”?

(I just realized that some of you might not be hearing these songs in your head as you read my words. I’m shook.)

That’s why I’ve decided to write about what makes Christmas feel like home to me. Because:

I’m dreaming of a black Christmas.

Here are a few of my favorite things that make my black Christmas magical.

Photo by Rodolfo Marques on Unsplash

The Music. Music is life in black culture, and there’s no exception during the holidays. As I’ve already discussed, certain renditions of Christmas songs by classic black artists are like favorite relatives who are invited to the house each year.

Hopping around our 80s wood-paneled family room with my little brother sounds like the Jackson 5’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” Or the Temptations’ singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Everyone’s favorite drunk uncle sounds like “Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto” by James Brown.

And of course, Daddy nodding off the sleep in his chair after putting toys together all night sounds like that resonant, comforting favorite, the Temptations “Silent Night”.

The Food. Just like we have soul music, we have soul food. If I were on death row, the traditional black holiday plate would be my last meal.

In my family, we basically eat the same thing we had the month before for Thanksgiving. Turkey, ham, cornbread dressing. Greens seasoned with the salty flavor of smoked meat, candied yams, cornbread and mac and cheese. I cannot imagine celebrating the birth of our Lord and savior without the mac and cheese. Potato salad is a must on our table. That one usually surprises my non-black friends the most.

I cannot imagine celebrating the birth of our Lord and savior without the mac and cheese.

If you’re lucky, no one will cook any stinky chitlins (or chitterlings if you’re being fancy). Those are best left for New Years day, along with black-eyed peas and collard greens to bring prosperity in the new year. Greens represent that green cash money and peas represent the noisy type of money.

The Games. When black families get together for the holidays, a deck of cards often appears when the table is cleared. That can only mean one thing: it’s time for an epic game of Spades.

Now, Spades is a battle for honor and supremacy in any black household.

I have a friend from Detroit who tells the best tall-tales about the intensity with which his family played spades. With a twinkle in his eye, he’ll tell you about the time a gun was pulled over the cardinal sin of “reneging” in a game. I don’t think that ever happened, but he sure loves telling the story.

If your holiday gathering has any old-heads, Bid Whist might make an appearance. A similar card game that involves collecting books but adds the fun aspect of bidding. In my opinion, it’s the superior game.

The Movies. There is a canon of black Christmas movies that you might find playing in any black household during the holiday season. Sorry, but no one is watching “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

What are we watching instead? Maybe one of these classics:

“The Preacher’s Wife”

“Friday After Next”

“This Christmas”

“Best Man Holiday”

Yes, the second sequel to “Friday” is a Christmas classic. Fight me.

Bonus: Not Kwanzaa

Image by oocey from Pixabay

I’m sure someone will disagree, but I’ve never known a black family who celebrates Kwanzaa in my life. Sure, we know some of the 7 principles like Umoja or everyone’s favorite to say, Kujichagulia. But we learned those in school along with the rest of the non-black kids.

So if your new, black honey takes you home for the holidays, don’t show up on Boxing Day wearing a dashiki, ready to light the family kinara. Just don’t.