‘Hell Bent Heaven Sent’ A Novel
By: Maria Rattray
Tags: Ambition, Husband Wife Problem, Drama, Fiction, Career Change

‘Hell Bent Heaven Sent’ A Novel

“Her eyes, naturally dark and exotic had been intensified beyond belief, and her features, already perfect in his eyes, subtly highlighted to enhance her loveliness, if that were at all possible. Her skin, now much darker, was offset by a deep crimson dress, a perfect foil for her long, painted nails and fingers adorned with jewels. A lump appeared in his throat, and he found himself being drawn to her in a way he’d never experienced.

“No fortune teller’s attire can be complete without a tiara or some form of head adornment. Hers was no exception. With her hair left naturally long and curly, it was simply adorned by one forehead pendant that wrapped around her crown in a silver band, simplicity itself, and absolute perfection. In the far left corner of her cheek sat a tiny diamond, just enough to highlight her delicate bone structure. The rest of her face was partly, almost teasingly hidden behind the tarot cards she held before her.

“The group was hushed, awestruck, in anticipation. This was an atypical happening for a strait-laced company such as theirs, one that could go either way. Lizzie waited, allowing the moment to wash over them, and then, in a hushed, somewhat measured voice she began.”

Chapter 1 — The Time for Change is NOW!

Slam! The house shook vehemently. Allie was home, and somehow he knew the evening was going to be difficult. Storming down the hallway, kicking the door shut behind her with a seriously-threatening stiletto that would have challenged any would-be assailant, the atmosphere was immediately changed, heralding bad news.

Brad breathed deeply, and waited. Waiting was a coping mechanism he had learned to master.

“That’s it! I quit!” she growled, tossing her designer briefcase in a corner of the family room, kicking off her shoes, and slinging her car keys heavily on the prized dining table, after which she slumped dramatically onto their designer lounge, eyes closed to the world…and to him!

Brad breathed calmly, allowing the dust to settle a little before responding in his practiced, measured, always calm tone. The few years they’d enjoyed of married ‘bliss’ had taught him many things, the least of which was never to match mood for mood.

Allie was a feisty partner. He’d realized that well before asking her to marry him, but secretly this was one of the personality traits that he admired most. Usually her outbursts allowed the air to be cleared, to get things off her chest, and resolve issues, rather than allow them to build up to the point of no return.

That said, he also appreciated that it was a characteristic that could serve to be corrosive, if it happened too frequently, and was not treated with caution.

Slumped resignedly in the lounge, her long slender legs pendulously dangling over the stylishly rolled arms, her arms resolutely folded on her chest, mouth turned down in a pout, Allie wore a look that he’d come to both love and fear.

Of course he’d experienced similar situations before, and had usually managed to tread carefully around the circumstance until her temper had resolved itself. His was the softly, softly, some would say coward’s option, but it worked, most of the time, most being the operative word!

This was different though. He could tell. He’d seen hints of it before, that determination in her demeanour that told him that this time he was expected to respond in a particular way. The atmosphere was uncomfortable to say the least. Trouble beckoned!

Allie was one of those indefatigable human beings who live life at insane peaks, and crash to depths that destroy everything in its path, including relationships.

Right now the silence in the room served as little more than a thin skin that tenuously held back the threatening tsunami. A chilly silence filled the air. Brad wasn’t sure what was expected of him. Eventually he spoke quietly.

“You mean you’re going to quit or you actually HAVE?”

“I’m going to. It’s what I said. You did hear me, didn’t you?”

“I did. You said I quit, not I HAVE quit.”

“Oh spare me the semantics will you! You know exactly what I meant. I hate it when you correct my grammar, so just don’t do it.”

Brad could never work out why it didn’t occur to Allie that all the minutes, all the hours when she hung on to rage, those lost pieces of life that could never be exchanged or reclaimed, were the same hours where she could have experienced happiness and the joy of living. Anger was an emotion he didn’t understand.

And so, he waited. The designer clock in the far wall ticked on, a sound that until tonight, Brad had paid little attention to…tick, tick, tick…!

It had to go.

Experience had taught him that restraint was the least inflammatory course of action. Nonetheless it was hard. Still the clock ticked resolutely by, time never to be reclaimed…tick, tick, tick…neither of them speaking, yet the thunder inside Allie filled the room…a forbidding, threatening, combustible furnace of emotion.

Eventually her arms unfolded, but now her fists were clenched and her mouth set, not a great sign for a positive discussion.

“I can’t do it any longer…always too goddamned tired. I want a life! I need time for ME!”

“Well I guess we’re all short on time Allie. It’s just the way of the world. These days we all tend to pack too much into our working days. At the same time we’re not too good at ignoring irrelevant, time-consuming things, so we get worn out. Are you serious?”

“About what?”

“Packing it all in.”

“Never been more so…can I have a drink please? I need to switch off.”

He wanted to tell her there were many better ways to relax, like going for a run, or reading a fun book, or, maybe, perish the thought, just relaxing a little and talking things through. But his gut feeling was that this just wouldn’t be the optimal occasion for suggestions, so he reluctantly uncorked a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon he’d been saving for a special occasion, assuring himself that it would at least mitigate some of her anger, albeit temporarily.

She sipped it quietly, making no mention of its qualities, depth of flavour, the delicate berry nose, or the viscosity, all sure signs of its being an excellent wine, one worth storing for a few years!

Eventually she spoke.

“I’m determined.”

“Yes, I’m sure you are.”

She got up on her feet, arms akimbo, shoulders raised, and eyes flashing. This was going to be a memorable night. He braced himself, wishing all the while that he’d stayed back to finish off the blueprint that his client had hoped he’d have in his hands yesterday.

If only he’d known!

“You have no idea what I go through every day. I HAVE to STOP! It’s killing me.”

From where Brad stood he saw little evidence of somebody ready to take that faltering step into the hereafter. Tall, beautifully trim with the perfect body to leg ratio, he was sure there would be many hopefuls in heaven just waiting for an Allie to walk through the pearly gates.

In less threatening times he might have said so, but this wasn’t one of them. So, with carefully measured words and tone, he responded.

“That’s all very well Allie, but what are you planning to do instead? I’m assuming you’ve thought this whole thing through. You do have a plan?”

“Oh for God’s sake…I don’t know! Right now I don’t want to do anything. I’m totally and completely exhausted.”

“OK, so let’s see…we take a holiday…have a few weeks in the South of France. Would that help?”

“That’s not going to cut it. I want out of the whole business!”

“I see. Well, far be it from me to remind you, but we DO have a substantial mortgage on this house…and your more-than-considerable salary was factored into our getting the loan for it in the first place.”

She knew that would be his first reaction. She could have bet her bottom dollar on it. Happy in their smaller home, in the suburbs, Brad had not been in favor of taking on more debt, or moving to an inner-city location, but it was she who’d been gung-ho and determined. It was she who had cajoled him into believing it was for the best.

“Just imagine if this doubles in seven years Brad, or five, and it will. There is NO way we could save that kind of cash. Besides, I only have to get a few fabulous sales to start whittling down the mortgage. You KNOW I can do it. Don’t be a drag Brad. PLEASE!”

Brad was not to be moved. High levels of debt worried him. Sure they were both young and in well-paid jobs, but he knew all too well that things can change in the blink of an eye, accidents, job losses, illness. They needed to factor those in.

But Allie had seen the rigid body image before, a sign that she needed to work on him. The very thought of missing out on such an amazing deal was anathema to her. All she had to do was open his eyes to how amazing their lives could be if they were to go ahead.

“Imagine yourself living here Brad, weekends spent by the pool with our friends, cozy nights in winter, by the fire, sipping on a full-bodied red…what could be nicer?”

What indeed? Imagining was not a problem for him, or so he thought, but spending money on things you can’t afford, with money you don’t have, just to impress people you don’t necessarily like, didn’t sit well with him.

Somehow though, after a few weeks of sleepless nights, he’d agreed to go to the auction, not necessarily to buy, just to watch. But Allie had registered them as bidders…just in case, she had assured him.

There, buoyed on by the unscrupulous auctioneer who had not the slightest interest in their pecuniary situation, he’d somehow made the last bid, the one that meant the sales person would take home a tidy amount of money, the one that meant the house was legally now theirs! He’d fallen for the game, for as far as Brad was concerned, that’s exactly what it was.

“Would you like it gift-wrapped,” he’d asked Allie, “or will you just take it as it is?”

“Oh Brad, I love you! Thank you. I’ll take it as it is, though when we move in I have so many plans for renovating.”

A lump formed in Brad’s throat, and in that moment he knew he had been caught in a giant tarantula-type web, one from which there was no escape. Not only had he NO plans for renovations, but even if he had ideas, there would be no money…well, not for the foreseeable future.

And so, the house became theirs and Allie was happier than he’d seen her in a long time. She couldn’t wait to show it off to everyone, as veritable proof of their having ‘made it’.

But Brad remained circumspect. The fact was the bank owned most of the property, and as far as he was concerned, that was a rocky foundation for wealth-building. It would only take a market swing one way or another to put them into shark infested waters…but try telling that to someone who had already written the list for the celebratory champagne breakfast!

Their move was everything Allie could have wished for. Close to the action, their house was surrounded by trendy restaurants and wine bars, and within earshot of possible real estate deals, for Allie had been quick to inform her neighbors that she was in the business of selling.

The first few months they had spent rearranging furniture, snapping up a few bargain designer pieces for the corners which, from Allie’s perspective, screamed for a little je ne sais quoi. And in their few spare hours they’d invite friends over to eat and dine and share in their good fortune.

Between work and socializing, life had never been busier…or more challenging. And whilst they had always managed to meet their mortgage commitments and more, Brad would have preferred the quiet life, in their first home, in the suburbs…with Allie, not always working such long hours to keep up a standard that he had little interest in…just the two of them, living and loving whilst the greedy world passed them by. That was his secret dream, the inner city home his silent regret.

Despite her excitement and determination, Allie had been aware of Brad’s caution. But spurred on by her many monitory successes at work, it was she who continually changed the goal posts, who pushed towards the ever hazardous and more alluring horizons, who threw caution to the wind to buy that once-in-a-lifetime piece of art work, which meant that, tonight she should have been prepared for his reaction. Defensively she replied.

“You don’t have to remind me. It’s at the forefront of my mind every single day, from the time I wake in the morning, till I go to bed at night, whenever I actually GET to bed that is! But YOU try selling houses to people.”

“It pays well.”

“Is that all you think about? It’s lucrative yes, because I spend all damned day making sure it is. I corner the very market that allows us to live as we do. AND, who else works six days a week from sunrise to sunset trying to make a living? Actually, I don’t even know why I asked that question. The hours are the least of it.”

“That’s good, because lots of people work long hours, AND, they don’t make your kind of money.”

“You’re not being helpful.”

“And you’re being dramatic. Look, I understand your pain. I really do, but leaving a job, if that’s what you’re seriously intent on doing, without having another in its place, is seriously dangerous, especially in this economic climate! You know that, as well as I do! A bird in the hand…”

His last few words were as dynamic as petrol on a bonfire! In an instant she was right in front of him, dangerously close, her eyes blazing, and any semblance of self-control was lost in her outburst of rage. Unaware that the remnants of her wine had splashed on her designer couch, she let out a fury that even Brad was ill-prepared for.

“Don’t you dare lecture me Brad Cashmere!” she flashed. “Just don’t even think about it. Who supported you when you were out of work?”

The accusation stung, turning the room chilly and barren. For a moment Brad was stunned. He had weathered many storms with Allie and he’d managed to counter so many inflammatory outbursts, but this was way over the top. Moreover, it was unfair. The whites of his knuckles tightened as they worked to break free of the thinly-stretched skin surrounding them. Unbridled tension filled the air.

The instant the words escaped from her mouth, Allie sensed the error of her outburst. Her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes wide open, shocked and horrified by the words that had so carelessly spat from her mouth. But it was too late, much too late and before she even had time to apologize, Brad’s rare fury filled the air.

“Whoa!” he said, arms outstretched. “Hold on a minute Allie. That was seriously below the belt, not to mention cruel. It doesn’t even belong in the discussion. If you remember the company went bust and you know that. I didn’t just quit, as you suggest. It’s something I would never do with debts to honor. And if you recall I ran around like a headless chook trying to find another position. I was super-conscious of the fact that we needed both our earnings to service our lifestyle obligations. And if you recall I DID find an even better position pretty quickly. It was weeks, not months, so let’s not start the blame game here.”

The atmosphere was growing chillier by the moment, Brad’s body language a sure-fire indication that she’d gone too far and that they had now entered Dante’s fifth circle of hell.