The Life You CHOOSE
Tags: Success, Desire, Why, Choices, Life

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.” -Robert Frost

My plan wasn’t working again. I was eating another peanut butter sandwich because my manager wasn’t giving me any hours, my landlord still hadn’t fixed the entrance doors’ broken window, the apartment smelled like weed, the number of bugs in the kitchen were growing at an alarming rate, my school’s organizational skills and lies were racking up by the day just so they could suck you me in further into paying more money, and I was in a deep state of the “Why’s?” I just didn’t understand why nothing was working out for me. Why couldn’t anyone else see my true potential? Why was I still not not successful? I was an extremely devoted student, I was constantly trying to improve myself in every way possible, I stuck to a schedule, I was doing everything right. But why was my life not going as planned? And then all of the sudden a thought struck me, “What the heck was I doing?” I was CHOOSING to limit my own potential just for the sake of others around me. I was CHOOSING to live in a crappy apartment with four roommates, I was CHOOSING to settle for less than just because I thought that was what you were supposed to do to get ahead. (Which really makes no sense when you think about it!) In that moment I realized that if I wanted my life to go in the direction to where I could accomplish my deepest desire, I would have to make a decision and fast. And so I dropped out of school, and I my success has never stopped growing since then.

“Everyday in everyway, I am getting better and better.”

-Émille Coué

My deepest desire in life is to see my name in lights. Ever since I was little, I’ve been searching for the right dream to lead me on the path to making my desire become my reality. I didn’t know if I was going to be a professional ballet dancer, a motivational speaker, a model, and author, an actress, I didn’t know what my dream was that would lead me on the path to accomplishing my desire, I just knew that I was going to make it happen!

I had started modelling when I was eight years old and I LOVED it. Every time I got in front of the camera it felt like I was making art come to life. I started practicing walking in heels as soon as my feet were big enough and I practiced my poses in the mirror. When I was around fourteen, I realized that I could actually make a living being a model! I was thrilled! I began to train like a model everyday. I would wake up at 5 am before school so that I could work out and I took an increased amount of attention to my skin which was not the best. When I was seventeen years old I was given the opportunity to go to a modelling convention. I thought that this was IT. I had my golden ticket! All of my hard work was going to be paid off and I would finally get scouted.

When I made it to the event, I was ready to finally meet all of the other driven individuals like myself who knew that modeling was their dream. But once I got there, I was sadly mistaken. Nobody was determined, nobody had a drive, they all just wanted money because they thought they were pretty and that was enough. I remember during a runway competition, one of the girls said to me “Wow you’re really fit! You must really want this!” And I remember standing there thinking, “You don’t?” I realized that if I made it into the modelling industry, I would still be alone because those around me didn’t think the way that I did. But I’d be living my dream right? I would have my name in lights and that’s what my true desire was anyways.

And then call back day came around. My mom and I left the house early to drive to the convention because we couldn’t afford staying at the hotel the event was being held at. Once we got there, I checked the callback sheet. I was so excited because deep down, I knew this was it! It was everything I had ever dreamed of. But my name was not on any of the lists… I fell apart in the car. I remember my mom not knowing what to say to me. This was my dream and it had just been crushed into a million pieces.

“If you give up a dream when you are denied, that is because it was never the dream that would make your desire become your reality!”

-Lauren Sawras

The internal struggle I had during this experience along with my experience when I was making the decision of dropping out of school, was me not realizing that I was not fulfilling my desire even when I thought that what I was doing was the dream that would lead me to success!

I had discovered that even when you think your dream is the dream that will lead you to your desire, in reality it isn’t if it keeps not working out. This was HUGE! I had to share this with others. How many of us are wasting our time on something that we think is helping us get closer to our desire? I want to help people redirect their focus (Which can be difficult when you think you KNOW what your dream is!) and help them realize their true potential. Why settle for something less than you can be? I didn’t and neither do you! All you need to do is recognize your desire, create a plan of action on how to get it, and realize that your potential is far greater than you may think it is.

I have now helped multiple people on recognizing their unique potential through the power of determination and have helped them make their deepest desire become their reality. I went through a period in my life when I thought that all I had were my “Why’s” and that the world was against me. That was the reason why I hadn’t accomplished anything. But the truth all along was, was that I was chasing a dream that was never meant to be mine. My life purpose needed another dream to lead me to my desire. My life purpose is THIS. Once I went through these internal and external trials and tribulations of what my REAL dream was to actually succeed my deepest desire was by no means easy. But the beauty is within the journey. What’s yours?

MBL