Solution For Child to deal with Negative Emotions..
By: Dada Bhagwan
Tags: Parenting, Kids, Positive Thinking, Childhood, Psychology

You’ve said your son knows that anyone can lose a game and he also knows he reacts disproportionately. This indeed is a sign of good maturity at the age of five!

To deal with the negative emotions, what you can do now is whenever he experiences negative emotions regarding anything or anyone, get him to immediately set positive thinking internally.

To do that you may become like a child of just five. And like two friends share their problems and experiences with each other, you, in a very casual and informal tone can let him know, “I have noticed that whenever I am having positive emotions, I experience a lot of happiness and when I am negative, I feel so miserable. I don’t want to feel miserable at all. So what do you think I should do?”

Encourage him to give you some tips and suggestions, which you can listen to carefully. And after some time, you can share with him the following 4 steps, which is the best way to deal with and overcome any mistake.

To beat one’s negative emotions through the positive, the 4 steps are:

1. Decide within that these negative emotions are wrong. The negative emotions of anger, frustration, etc. are a weakness. But they are often mistaken as a strength. If your child grows with such mistaken belief, he could become even more miserable, which we don’t want. Hence, changing the opinion is very important. His current actions are an outcome of his past opinions. But now, inspire him to make this simple new decision and remind him to reiterate the decision every day. When the opinion gets changed in favour of positive, his emotions too will start moving in that direction.

2. Analyze the benefits of positive emotions vis-a-vis the disadvantages of negative emotions.

Keep feeding into your child what are the disadvantages of negative reactions and advantages of the positive. For example:

When the negative emotions arise inside us,

· We waste a lot of time.

· We never feel peace of mind.

· It stops us from being happy.

· We always remain angry and frustrated.

· We hurt people.

· We cause great damage to our relationships

· Over time, we become very lonely.

And on the other hand, when we cultivate positivity

· It makes us a confident person.

· People respect such a person.

· We experience peace within.

· Our relationships with people harmonize.

· We feel happy.

· We remain healthy, etc.

3. Seek forgiveness from God for whatever negative emotions arise

Every day before going to sleep, make your son recall where all negative emotions arose within him. And teach him to confess them before God by saying, “Oh God. This was my mistake. Please forgive me. And give me strength to not do this mistake again.” Encourage your son to do this prayer daily, before going to bed.

4. Never protect your mistake.

One often gets defensive of his actions or negative emotions to people outside, even when internally he knows that it is his mistake. Such protection of mistake will only extend the mistake further. Therefore, help your son maintain his virtue of realizing his mistake that ‘he reacts disproportionately’ and at the same time acknowledging it too, until he overcomes it.

These 4 steps are a proven practice to overcome any mistake. Thus, inspire your son to gradually follow these 4 steps, the best way being, you start following the 4 steps yourself. Children learn by watching their parents. Since you say you too are having a similar problem, it will only help you! And it will let him see through his own eyes how reacting positively can change even bad things to good whereas by reacting negatively, we ruin our things, our relationships, our happiness and our peace of mind too.

We all have lot of inner strength. If we choose to react positively, it will happen in course of time. Until then, pray to God to give your child the correct understanding and steer him onto the right path. And you daily resolve, “May I never hurt anyone through my mind, body or speech.”

An effort in this direction will certainly help your child overcome all negativity. And it is best done at this age!