Operation Ice Ice Baby
By: Pamela O'Leary
Tags: Empowerment, Egg Freezing, Reproductive Rights, Womens Empowerment, Fertility

Feeling like a badass after giving myself the final trigger shots!

Today six of my frozen eggs entered the world! Maybe someday they’ll become babies! Today was not a conception. It was not a birth. But it was still a special day! Operation #IceIceBaby Round One was a success! Please check out my earlier post My Empty Womb about the beginning of this journey.

First, I’d like to thank my rock star support team of friends who held me up along the way: to my besties who dropped and picked me up from the procedure, my roommates who were with me nightly as I painstakingly gave myself shots, my friends who let me give myself shots at their kitchen table while I traveled in DC, to my friends who last minute came to my surgery send off celebration, to my amazing community of friends near and far who shared their words of encouragement, to the brave women who had done this before and told me what their egg freezing experience was like. I’d also like to thank my nurse who patiently taught me how to do the shots and empower me deeply. Without all this love, I would’ve felt very alone in this process. Instead, I feel supported and actually had some fun with it all.

My besties who accompanied me to the surgery and future fabulous aunties

Second, I’d like to thank my amazing company Korn Ferry for generously offering this as an employee benefit. I’ve been wanting to do this for years but was scared of the big price tag. In addition to offering very generous maternal and paternal leave, this benefit is seriously life changing.

Third, I’d like to thank the incredible staff at Spring Fertility, especially my nurse Nanette, Dr. Harris, and Dr. Tran. Everyone was so kind, professional and supportive every step of the way. I felt safe and well taken care of. They even give you a box of chocolate when you leave the surgery!

Fourth, I’m grateful to live in a place where exercising this reproductive choice of mine was accessible and possible. This is not easily available in all countries, let alone parts of my country. Often when we think about being Pro-Choice, the discourse automatically goes to abortion and choosing to not have children. Yes, that’s absolutely important, but ultimately it’s really about the right to choose if and when to become a parent. Freezing my eggs gave me peace of mind and the ability to defer this decision to the future. I now have actual possibilities to improve my chances of becoming a mother later in life. Yes, this process is still exorbitantly expensive and is largely unavailable to all women. I hope that changes in the future. Again, I am extremely grateful my employer offered this as an employee benefit.

I’m proud to be “out” about this process. I’m grateful to my many girlfriends who had been through this before and shared their experiences with me. I know not everyone may have that, so I’d like to share my story as a data point for others considering choosing to freeze their eggs. Please feel free to ask me questions by commenting below or adding to the conversation @olearypd #IceIceBaby. I really hope to remove the stigmas associated with egg freezing and make this more of a celebration of reproductive choice!

Here are some answers to questions you may have.

Why did you do this?

First, be very mindful about whether or not to ask this question to any friends going through egg freezing or IVF. Fertility is a very sensitive issue. Check out this article about how to support friends going through IVF.

In short, feel free to check out my first post about why I did this. I can’t 100% tell you I want to be a mom and I can’t 100% tell you I don’t want to be a mom. I don’t want kids at this moment, but I want the possibility of that in the future. The brilliant Trevor Noah recently said it best, “I don’t want to have a child before I believe I want a child.” And this was basically free through my generous employer, so I thought it was silly not to do it.

What’s the best part?

I truly have this weight lifted off my shoulders. I imagine I will carry that energy into future dating experiences. I truly now have a statistically better chance of becoming a biological mom later in life now. I can’t begin to put into words how liberating and empowering that is.

What was the worst part?

Fortunately for me since my employer covered most of the costs, money wasn’t a main concern. I am extremely privileged to be able to say that.

It was more an emotionally challenging journey than a physical one. It made me dig deep into reproductive choices in a way I never had before. Getting over the fear of giving myself injections was really a mental game more than a physical one.

Would you do it again?

Yes, according to the chart below based on this report, with the six mature eggs I froze, I still only have about a 40% chance of having one child. I plan on doing a second round soon.

Sources: Spring Fertility; Successful elective and medically indicated oocyte vitrification and warming for autologous in vitro fertilization, with predicted birth probabilities for fertility preservation according to number of cryopreserved oocytes and age at retrieval

Did it hurt? Overall, how physically hard was it?

I was terrified going into the process, but overall it was much less painful than I feared. You have to be comfortable with regular vaginal ultrasounds and blood draws. Due to the hormones, I was very irritable and exhausted. I am pretty sure I gained some mild weight.

You have to either hire someone to give you about 10–12 days of injections (2–3 per day), or learn how to do this yourself. I am super proud I made it through all this, especially learning how to give myself injections. It was really empowering!

Originally published Aug 14, 2019