What Mindful Leaders Do Differently
By: Marta Brzosko
Tags: Relationships, Mindfulness, Leadership, Careers, Work

Perspective

In her recent article, Jessica Donahue wrote:

“The most valuable thing you have as a leader that your team doesn’t have is perspective. Perspective is what allows you to withhold a reaction in favor of delivering a response.”

A big-picture perspective of the business allowed Caroline to assess what was important and what wasn’t. Thanks to this, she could resist her urge to react to each problem immediately. For example, whenever there was a conflict in the team, she asked us to sit with it without jumping straight to solutions.

This allowed everyone to cool down and access the rational part of the brain, instead of making decisions in the heat of the moment.

Integrity

Integrity means you follow the same set of values in your personal and professional life. You don’t fundamentally change as a person when you go to work. You make decisions based on who you are deep down — not on how you would like to be seen by others.

It was easy to observe this with Caroline since we shared a life there at the lodge. We didn’t just work together. We also ate, played, rested, socialized, and went on hikes. This allowed me to see that whenever she stepped into her leadership role, her personality didn’t change.

She didn’t pretend to be perfect to earn our respect. She allowed herself vulnerability and honesty about her shortcomings. That integrity earned her the team’s trust.

Listening

A lot of people assume that a leader’s role is mainly about telling people what to do. While working for Caroline, I realized that, most of the time, leadership is about listening, not talking.

Without listening, a leader isn’t in a position to understand their team. Remember the metaphor of a bus tour? When you don’t have enough data to base your decision on, how can you expect to make a good one?

The most precious “data” for a leader is that which comes directly from their team. To acquire that data, a leader needs to listen. But it’s not just any kind of listening that we’re talking about here. It’s active, deep listening that a mindful leader must learn.

In the words of a Buddhist teacher Susan Piver, to listen mindfully, you need to “cease thinking your thoughts and start thinking my thoughts.” This is challenging — but also extremely rewarding.

Non-judgment

Another thing working for Caroline taught me was the true meaning of non-judgment. I realized that lack of judgment isn’t about always being happy with what others do. But even if you’re upset, you still don’t need to blame it on the other person.

It happened a few times that Caroline wasn’t satisfied with how I handled my work. In those moments, she didn’t treat me as if I was guilty of it. She always withheld judgment and assumed my best intentions.

When a leader does this, it transforms the team dynamics at a very deep level. Some people refer to this attitude as “assuming innocence” — i.e. making it a point to understand where the other person is coming from. In the words of psychologist Sukh Pabial:

“If we think about the other person as being innocent it allows so much more interactivity and flow of discussion. It also allows you to ask questions and point out flaws without seeming negative. It involves actively changing your thinking so that the language you use becomes more collegiate and constructive. You share the power of the conversation because you haven’t already taken it away with your own assumptions.”

This leads us to the last, but certainly not the least important trait of mindful leaders.

Compassionate communication

The way we communicate makes all the difference — and not just in leadership. The “what” of our conversations are often overridden by the “how.” Whether it’s about delivering feedback, discussing work strategy, or simply checking in on someone, how you say those things can has consequences.

This awareness of those consequences is what compassionate communication is about. A leader needs to be tuned in with how their words and presence affect others — and make sure they consider it when choosing how they communicate.

Caroline was very aware of that when giving critical feedback. She knew that for some people on the team it was hard to take. So, she always tried to create conditions to encourage compassion, especially when what she had to say was difficult to digest.

This could mean initiating a one-on-one conversation (instead of addressing the issue in front of the team) or delivering a critique after recognizing someone’s good work first. She knew there was no point in attacking her team. Her remarks and suggestions for improvement would only be productive if communicated with care and compassion.