The pandemic is returning weddings to what they were for thousands of years
By: Jon Eastty
Tags: Engagement, Planning, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Pandemic Response

The pandemic is returning weddings to what they were for thousands of years Jon Eastty Jun 17·3 min read

Weddings are an industry driven by advertisers. Take it from me-I’m one of them.

As a videographer for the past fifteen years, what I’ve seen can be summarized in these three words: Capitalization of Dreams. You know those stories you heard growing up about somebody’s great-aunt getting married in their backyard, or gazing for cumulative hours at that one wedding picture from your grandparents, maybe even the grainy cringe-inducing super 8 tape of your parents’ wedding? That’s really the way it was. Until the 1920s, most couples were married in churches or on private properties with ceremonies that share little in common with the show brides feel pressured to put on today.

Don’t get me wrong-my clients have truly enjoyed their weddings overall. But wedding planning has become a term synonymous with stress. The wedding industry is actually responsible for many of the “traditions” that we think are age-old. Rings were hardly ever diamonds prior to DeBoers, the parent dances were not a formality so much as they were a given in cultures where dance was a natural byproduct of joy. DJs were live musical groups that were friends of the families. These trends were capitalized on and institutionalized by a wedding industry that now includes hundreds of service categories.

When restrictions forced people to scramble and make adjustments in the spring of 2020, most couples, including my wife and I, pivoted reticently to a smaller, quieter affair that was expected to be somewhat muted, simple and easy to change last minute. What ended up happening was a blessing in disguise for many. One couple commented that there was now an easy out to not invite an annoying but hardly seen relative. Another groom stated that the pressure had been mounting to invite his dad’s golf buddies, and it was causing contention between he and his fiancee over the guest count. When plans needed to be adjusted, the guests who could be included were overwhelmingly supportive of the changes. This led to smaller guest counts by numbers, but more guests that counted.

Couples who faced issues with their venues returning deposits for unusable dates found themselves strapped for cash, meaning that an array of modern expectations were unrealistic. Gone was the $2500 photo booth with the attendant to feed. The catering team with their complex rules, indiscernible contracts and reminders of how much they appreciate gratuities now boiled down to a potluck (excuse the pun) or a mobile pizza oven and an assortment of craft beers in a cooler. I can’t tell you how many couples had a delicious cake baked by a friend, a spotify playlist with some good speakers, and actual meaningful conversations between the couple and people they tresure. The guests were the absolute closest of friends and supportive family members, leading to an intimacy and meaning that hasn’t been so widespread since the birth of the modern wedding industry in the 1920s.

For thousands of years, neighbors organized banquets on the family homestead. Jewelry was borrowed, actual family memorabilia was on display, and everyone who was invited to a wedding knew the couple and was excited to be there. As time went on, simple photographs were taken while the couple focused on the actual joy of the occasion-not mimicking it for the lens of a stranger. Time was spent on relationships and creating memories. During the last year, this trend has returned. Our culture had a brief but seismic shock that is resulting in more couples than ever forgoing event venues and simplifying the process so that the day itself can be more enjoyable. The backyard wedding is back, and though it will certainly be more elaborate, the trend for this decade of the 20s is living in the moment.