The Problem with Diversity Event Messaging
By: Joy Ebertz
Tags: Tech Events, Diversity, Diversity And Inclusion, Codelikeagirl, Diversity In Tech

I have attended many women in tech and diversity in leadership events over the years. I’ve started to notice that there is a very dangerous message that seems to come up at nearly every single event. That message is that women and minorities need to change to fit into the white-male dominated corporate cultures that we currently have. This message seems to come up no matter the exact topic of the event or the specified target audience.

Why is this message so prevalent?

The primary reason this message comes up is because of the audience. If I’m speaking to a non-male person of color, the advice that will help their career the most right now is that they should attempt to fit in. It is very likely that they will be ready for retirement if they wait for the system to change enough to welcome, celebrate, and leverage them as they are now. So instead of waiting for the system to change, or even trying to change the system, the easiest and most effective way to help that individual is to teach them to try to work with the current system. This doesn’t make it the right answer, it just makes it the best answer for that person.

The second reason is because of the speakers. There’s nothing as inspiring as putting a very successful person of color on stage and asking them to inspire and teach the next generation. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a lot to learn from these folks. However, they will inevitably get asked how they got to where they are or what advice they have for others, and again they will talk about learning to work within the system. These people rose in the ranks within our current workplaces. They got to where they did by learning to work with the current system, not by completely changing that system. Even if they did manage some change, it’s almost always after they rose to the top. So again, their message will be to learn to fit in or to find ways to leverage the current system.

So What’s the Problem?

Okay, so we’re all telling the next generation of people who can add diversity to our organizations to learn how to play the game. We’re telling them to learn how to work with and fit into the current business structures. How is that a problem?

First of all, the entire point of trying to bring diversity into a setting is to benefit from different viewpoints, ways of working, and ways of thinking. If we force everyone to think and work in the same way, we’re losing an important aspect of diversity. If we all look different on the outside but think and work in exactly the same way, we lose most of the advantage of diversity.

Secondly, we’re putting the responsibility for advancement on the people who are already struggling. When we give the message that we need to teach women or people of color to learn to fit in, we’re also inadvertently sending the message that the status quo is just fine. The people currently with all of the power don’t need to do a thing. We send the messages that our workplaces are fine the way they are, and instead, it’s the people who are different who have the problem. If anything, this is just reinforcing privilege.

Now on top of this, I’ve noticed that nearly all diversity events have some combination of up and coming folks who identify with whatever group the event is aimed at (be it people of color or women or LGBTQ+, etc.) and allies and leaders. No matter which direction the event tries to market, it seems to always have a split between these two groups. It’s great to get these groups together. However, the problem magnifies itself when I get up to tell my fellow young women how I got where I am and to tell them to learn to get over their imposter syndrome and to learn to speak up. Unfortunately, because I’m at this mixed event, the male allies and leaders are also there hearing that women just need to work harder, to talk more, and just need to learn that they aren’t imposters. These allies are hearing that to change their organizations, they don’t need to do anything. The women in their organization just need to learn a few things. These leaders and allies come away from the event feeling proud that they’ve done something for the cause and feeling like they’re supporting diversity. Then they come back to their organizations to tell the women that they need to change.

There lies the problem.

Is this really happening?

I’m sure it may seem like I’m exaggerating. After all, it’s rarely as blunt as someone coming back to announce that women need to be better or that people of color need to do better. But before you write me off too much, ask yourself how many women in leadership workshops have you seen? How about female-specific public speaking classes? Meetups for people of color on how to build their brand or to effectively improve their network? Meanwhile, how many classes have you seen aimed at men to learn how to make sure their female colleagues are heard? Classes for dominant voices to learn when they shouldn’t talk? Talks about how to completely ignore your network and instead recruit from people who aren’t in anyone’s network? If you are lucky enough to have had bias training, you can bet everyone at your company attended, not just the majority culture. Who are we trying to change here?

To be fair, my suggestion is not that we stop all of these training sessions or that we don’t look for ways to give non-men and people of color a leg up. I just want us to recognize that that’s only a small part of the answer. It puts pressure on an already struggling group and adds even more expectations to an already unfair playing field. If we really want to succeed at this diversity thing, we need to think about how we can put the onus of having a successful and diverse workforce on the privileged folks. We need to think about how we can change our organizations and our structures so that these training sessions no longer even make sense.

What should we be saying?

Unfortunately, what exactly we should be saying at these events instead is the hard part. Ideally, we should be sharing what we did that effectively changed our organization to welcome diversity. We should be talking about how our company managed to get a diverse set of people at all levels. We should be talking about what our allies do to make sure everyone gets heard. Unfortunately, in most of corporate America, we’re still just starting to try to figure out what those exact steps might be. We don’t have any of this figured out, and we certainly don’t have any complete success stories to point to.

All of that leaves us in a position where we have to recognize the world where we are right now — largely living with a system that favors rich white men — but also where we want to go. We need to continue to encourage people from diverse backgrounds to try to learn to fit into that current system. But, at the same time, we should loudly recognize that that isn’t the real solution and we should be working to change our current system. We should be finding ways to take the burden off of the already burdened people. We should talk about our success stories, no matter how small. We should be sharing what has worked and what hasn’t. More than anything, we should be striving not to change people to fit our workplace but to change our workplace to fit all people.

To all execs and allies out there: No matter how many times you hear us telling our people to change, that message is not for you. That is not the solution for which we’re looking. Our message to you is that you need to change the workplace so that we don’t have to change.