Is your networking a waste of time?
By: Jan Cavelle
Tags: Marketing, Networking Tips, Referral Marketing, Online, Networking

It's them, not you — most of the time

Chris Montgomery at Unsplash

We all get invited to masses of online networking events now. No disrespect, but so many of them are a waste of time. Don’t get me wrong — I am grateful for the invitations. Without them, I wouldn’t find the good ones. But virtual events have mushroomed since the pandemic. Many are run by people who, sadly, don’t know what they are doing.

These are some of my pet peeves:

No precise categorization of group members. Random invitations result in a smorgasbord of perfectly lovely people who have absolutely nothing in common

Poorly selected breakout rooms: however interesting someone is, we all want to meet as many new people as possible and do not want to end up with the same person twice. A third time, which happened to me ones, feels slightly stalker-like even though neither party is responsible.

Lack of welcome to newbies: I have experienced this so often. You appear on that multi-faced screen, and no-one, including the host, makes any acknowledgment of one being there. They don’t pause the conversation before throwing you into a breakout room, leaving you feeling like a virtual lemon.

Poor moderation: As with other social occasions, you get the usual conversational monopolizers, the ramblers, and the crashing bores. The host’s job is to ensure everyone takes part in the conversation and cut the monopolizers et al. charmingly short. Every member of the group should feel equally loved and treasured, have an equal crack at the whip.

A bad organizer: Running networking groups has become very a la mode. People do it for three reasons. To further their own business and contacts: to sell you something else further down the line, often inner-circle networking: or to put themselves in a position of authority. All three, but especially the latter, can attract a broad range of the power-crazed and the egoist.

Secret Number One — it’s not you, it’s them:

Some networking groups are wrong for you, and some are just plain bad for anyone. The chances of you finding any success in one of those is something akin to a lottery ticket.

Be absolutely ruthless about your selection of events and on leaving them.

When we go to a party and have a miserable time, we don’t hesitate to cut our losses and disappear. Do the same here. Make your excuses: The house is on fire; the cat’s been sick, Gary Vee is on the other line — whatever. Get out of there and spend your time on something more worthy of it.

Secret Number Two — it’s not them, it’s you:

You can’t afford to be either the virtual lemon or one of the egotistical waffling bores. For however long you are there, you need to be on your best behavior and be your very best and most charming you.

What does that look like?

Have a clear elevator pitch. People are now starting to confuse pitching for sale and finance with an elevator pitch. An elevator pitch was called because it is supposed to be completed within the time it takes to go up (or down) an elevator). No waffle. It needs to be very warm, quite relaxed but different enough, enjoyable enough to make people want to talk to you; a new spin on an old topic always helps. The formality level of the introductions varies from group to group, so ask the host in advance, but keep it short and on-point.

Keep everything you do short and clear. Breakout rooms should give everyone there a shot at talking for equal time. Your job is not to out-speak. It is to be charming, be interesting, and speak little. Take an interest in your fellow breakout members. Not only is it good manners, but it also means you can quickly assess who is of remote relevance to speak to again in the future.

Remember, you are there to sell and not sell: This is your chance to have a first or second social meeting with a prospect or useful contact. Therefore, you do not sell. You do not even think about selling. Would you meet someone in any other social situation and start pitching to them? No — of course not. You might arrange to speak again or go for a coffee or a game of golf. You are cultivating a new relationship, and that means listening.

Be Kind: there are nearly always some students, or new business owners, new networkers at any event. Never forget that you were there once. It costs nothing to be kind, to be encouraging, to take an interest.

Secret Number Three: it’s not them, it’s your planning:

Of course, it is easy to blame the organizer and the group. But much of the fault of a bad experience with a virtual event can lie with the guest. In the barrage of invitations, it is easy to lose sight of why we are spending time networking, other than people tell us, “we should.”

There should be only three reasons for going networking:

1. You are channeling Napoleon Hill. Hill talks in his books of developing a Master Mind Group, a support network that meets up regularly to share knowledge and support each other. An inner circle of networking, where time together is so much more focussed, more relevant, and at a higher level of knowledge and empathy than a mere networking group.

Other entrepreneurs have expanded this to a higher number, including a slightly more outer-network of a dream team of people who could help you on your journey. These could include a selection of mentors, fellow entrepreneurs, influencers, politicians.

2. Sales pure and simple: Many networking groups, virtual and otherwise, are full of network marketers doing precisely that. Focussing on new people to market to; The bigger your business, the more refined and focussed this becomes in line with the size of the deals. But in the long run, it is still about making a connection who would benefit from your product or services.

3. Referrals: If you are assembling your dream mastermind team, or if you are hunting down a particular sales prospect, the best way to get to meet them is via an introduction. Developing the right contacts is where sophisticated networking is of ultimate value. Let’s assume you know who your target is. Work backward. Find out who they know and what you might have in common with their contacts. If need be, do it again with their contacts’ contacts. Find out what their interests are, what groups they belong to. And then join, turn up and network till you meet them. And then, develop a relationship slowly, and only when you have a strong enough relationship, ask for a referral. By defining the parameters that the contacts move in, your chances are also high in meeting other potentially useful people.

Be very clear in your own mind which of these you want and if you have good chances of finding it at this particular group. It will save everyone time.

A PS. on this:

Networking is a sales and marketing activity or a growth opportunity. Both rely on two other golden rules.

First, you need to do your research beforehand. Find out as much as you can about the group, the host, and the people who are going to be there. Be informed, prepared, and ready. The very best networking groups issue an attendee list in advance, enabling you to both read up in-depth and decide who would be of interest to you and who you could be of use to. Never forget this works both ways.

Finally, don’t fall into the trap of not following up afterward. Be awake, get the emails or contact details you want (while trying to avoid the ones you don’t). And write a great follow-up email afterward. Still not selling. Just developing the relationship.