I Live in a Male-Dominated Public Space
By: Rita Atlas
Tags: Equality, Women, Culture, Africa, Gender Equality

I Live in a Male-Dominated Public Space

Life as a woman in an African Muslim Arab third-world male-dominated country

Photo by Analise Benevides on Unsplash

Last night, I overheard some girl say she missed the lockdown. Weird, I thought. As I got closer, I realized she was saying that during the lockdown, she could walk to work without having dozens of men looking at her or making comments about how she looked. And it struck me. I was finally able to put words to the injustice I had been witnessing for so long: I lived in a male-dominated public space.

And I don’t mean first world male-dominated, with the occasional cheesy pick-up line and manspreading in public transportation (although these are also reprehensible). I mean Muslim-Arab-African-third world male-dominated.

Don’t get me wrong, the people of my country are very dear to me. I grew up in a wonderful land somewhere in North Africa. I love my culture; I think it has so many things to bring to this individualist world of ours. But I am so angry that we are letting women be treated so poorly.

No Woman’s Land

Growing up, I didn’t realize how much of a No Woman’s Land my country was. I didn’t realize how much my mom and other female figures around me had to work hard to earn the respect of their peers and claim their rights to the public space. But I got to live abroad. I got to discover real freedom. The kind that does not make you feel like a second-class citizen (or at least less so).

I became an adult woman outside of my home country. My adult brain learned that I could walk alone in the street whenever I felt like it, voice my opinions as I pleased, and dress as I wanted. Ten years later, I came back to find a country torn between its aspirations for modernity and its conservative men-dominated thought, even more than it was when I left.

I’m not saying that I live in some primitive inferno or that I have to barricade myself at home. This would be far from the truth. I live in a fairly safe neighborhood, I get to walk to work, and I still enjoy the occasional drink-fuelled night out with my girlfriends. My country is what the media like to refer to as a “moderate Muslim” one. But it’s the little things that bring me down.

It’s when I walk past a café terrace filled with only men staring at me either because they “like what they see” or because they are angry that I put unpure thoughts into their minds.

It’s when I’m in line at a grocery store and some man walks right in front of me ready to throw a “what’s your problem” at me if I dare to call him out.

It’s having to explain to my male coworkers why I chose not to live with my parents as a single woman despite that “a woman should not live on her own.”

It’s having to pretend that my boyfriend and I are married so our neighbors don’t think I’m his whore or call the cops on us (cohabitation is not only frowned upon, it is purely and simply illegal).

It’s having to shut up about women having to sit behind men during prayers because religion is sacred so who am I to talk?

It’s hearing about some girl being attacked (or raped) in public transportation and having to act like I’m okay with it because “it doesn’t happen that often and it’s just an isolated event” when I know it’s an institutionalized act of violence.

It’s the (not so) little things that become a whole lot bigger when you constantly have to witness them. Male domination is systemic around here. Heck, it’s legal. There are countless examples of men’s legal domination over women.

What saddens me most is that women have integrated these repressions. They act like it’s no big deal. Like it’s just something that you have to get used to, like when you move to a foreign country and have to get acclimated to the cold weather. We just have to suck it up and try to enjoy the good things life has to offer, because nobody likes a killjoy.

Institutionalized misogyny

This piece is not about blaming men nor women. Because this degree of misogyny has to be something institutionalized. It’s not just some retrograde third-world way of thinking and I don’t believe we’re more stupid or less human than the rest of the world.

Rather, it’s something that is allowed and nurtured. Little boys get to go to school while girls stay at home to do chores. They grow up to believe the public space is their playground. And the little girls, well they grow up to believe they belong in the kitchen, or the bedroom (or any place where they can cater to the needs of their men).

It’s the lack of education. It’s the lack of freedom of speech. It’s the influence of extremist religious movements combined with the absence of prospects for young generations. It’s not about people but rather about their frustrations (people are just acting as they were taught).

That being said, I believe we are collectively responsible, as a society, for not claiming our rights to education and freedom. If you try to bring up gender equality, people will tell you that it’s not for us and that we have other issues to deal with first (poverty, mediocre education, poor health system, to only name a few).

Calling out injustice only to have people dismiss your argument because it’s a “first-world problem” is not okay. The real reason we’re not dealing with this has nothing to do with the fact that we have worse issues to deal with. Rather, it’s because we fail to claim our basic rights. We hide behind excuses for our inability to demand the changes we deserve. And we get comfortable not trying.