You’re Running All Wrong
By: Juliet Annerino
Tags: Health, Self Improvement, Self Development, Running, Humor

Optimize Your Run, Defy Death and Attain Superpowers

“You’re doing it all wrong.”

A tall, willowy man with an aquiline nose, fair skin and long dark waves of flowing hair sat across from me. He was a voice teacher. A revered expert, in fact.

According to him.

“I’ll have another,” he said, raising his nearly empty bottle of Stella and nodding to me.

“…and I’ll tell you how to make it right. So you don’t ruin your voice.”

This was important to me — being a singer.

I was also a bartender, by the way. A common and respectable combination. And it was slow that night. I looked forward to times like these though the money was not great. (Fewer customers = fewer tips) The conversation with patrons was often more meaningful, introspective, even philosophical.

“There’s a reason you have a nose,” the Aquilined One began. “When you breathe, it filters and warms the air before it’s drawn into the lungs. If you breathe through your mouth, you’ll rip up your throat. You need to breathe only through your nose.”

I know what you’re thinking. Maybe you’re not a singer. Maybe you’re not even a talker. Maybe you don’t care what happens to your voice.

How would you like to increase your lung capacity? Or feel relaxed during your run instead of stressed out. Or look forward to your runs as your time to be inspired.

I took Aquiline Guy’s stern advice and commenced breathing only through my nose when running. It was not easy.

For the first two weeks, I was out of breath, tired and even a bit head-achy, sucking in the cold Chicago air forcefully through my nose, into my head. I had to slow down a lot, which was not encouraging. But I stuck with it.

Slowly something beautiful happened. I adjusted.

Besides feeling more badass in general for having the discipline to do this, there were unforeseen benefits.

I found the fabled Runner’s High. I was an endorphin junkie. The feeling was euphoric.

One night, singing a jazz standard with my band, just for fun, I tried to hold a note 4 measures longer than usual. The crazy thing was: I was able to hold it twice as long as that, almost effortlessly. It was shocking. My lung capacity had dramatically expanded.

I started to feel so relaxed during my runs that I almost felt I could — if I wanted — seamlessly and instantly fall asleep. It was weird.

I started to look forward to my runs as my time to be inspired, unravel problems, come up with new ideas. I found myself using my runs to write most of the lyrics for new songs.

Recently, I learned through an article on yogic practices, the probable reason for this extreme feeling of relaxation and why running had become my favorite time for problem-solving and lyric-writing. According to Dr. John Douillard DC, CAP, nasal breathing during exercise increases alpha brain wave activity.

The “alpha state” is that not-quite-asleep zone we find ourselves in just before dosing off. It’s the mental state sustained in meditation as well as the state of being in “the flow” artists and athletes rhapsodize over.

Years later, I learned nasal breathing stimulates the sinuses to release nitric oxide which has lots of amazing benefits that don’t happen during mouth-breathing.

Nitric oxide:

Nose breathing was just part of my education in running, though.

Since I loved running so much, I overdid it. I ran 5 miles every day without fail. On concrete.

This caused a terrible condition known as shin-splints. It’s an inflammation of the muscle tissue attached to the shinbone.

Ever been kicked in the shins? It’s like that except the pain goes on. I used to just blow it off and “power through,” running the next day and the next until it was unbearable.

I wrapped my shins tightly with ace bandages to help ease the pain. And I kept running. I didn’t see how crazy this was until my chiropractor asked about my strange habit.

Chiropractor: Why are you wrapping your legs like that? Me: Oh, no big deal. It’s just shin splints from running. Chiropractor: You have to stop that. Me: Running? I can’t. Chiropractor: Yes you can. Your’re impacting your legs with such force that it’s pulling the muscle away from the bone. Me: Ew… Chiropractor: Yeah, so don’t wrap your legs anymore and stop running ’til your legs heal. Me, with desperation: Then what? Chiropractor: Then don’t run every single day. And run on a softer surface. And on your toes.

Well. That was a lot of new information to take in. I was ON it.

Like most city runners I had been running on the sidewalk much to the chagrin of people walking their dogs and anyone with a child in a stroller. This would have to stop.

I didn’t have access to a track at the time so I chose the asphalt of the streets as this actually is a much softer surface.

It was also dangerous. I wasn’t sharing the space with erratic chasing dogs on strained leashes, hilariously bouncing babies in strollers and their annoyed swerving parents. I was sharing it with busses, motorcycles, scooters and yes, cars.

So I strategized to keep myself safe. I could run defensively if I ran the opposite way traffic was going. This seemed to freak out a few drivers, but at least I could see in the distance — with some notice — when a 2-tonne machine with wheels was careening my way. Maybe some fancy footwork, but no surprises.

And about that footwork, running on my toes…this was not the easiest thing to get used to. I felt almost embarrassed by it. Would people stare at me and laugh?

“Mommy, why is that funny lady ballet dancing in the street?”

Let them talk.

I got used to it and found it decreased the impact on my shins as well as my knees, which had also started to ache.

I tapered down my running routine to 4 days a week, then 3. After overdoing it one day, my knees were so sore and swollen that I had to take 6 months off running. Since my dad had his knees replaced and it did not seem like much fun, I took this injury seriously.

Today I run a few miles a few days a week. Sometimes I run at the gym on an actual running track and sometimes in the streets with all the fun excitement that comes with that experience.

I do find running uphill exhilarating. One more thing to remember though: hills are meant for running UP, never DOWN. Running down a hill increases the impact on one’s muscles and joints to a much higher degree and increases the chances that you’ll trip and fall.

The main thing to remember about running — for me, the closest feeling on earth to flying — is love & respect of the greatest piece of equipment I will ever have; my own magnificent body.