The Cure To Your Future 7 Years of Itching
By: Dr. Conor Hogan Ph.D.
Tags: Empathy, Friendship, Childhood Memories, Sports Features, Personal Growth

How to make the next 7 years better than the Last

Photo by Marcus Cramer on Unsplash

I want it all. But, I`m not sure that’s what you want too.

When thinking of what I want down the road seven years from now, of course, a few of those words strike a chord with me and some then meddle with my mind. Mostly, it’s not the starkness or length of the number seven, it’s the presence of the word ‘now’. Why? Well, these days, we humans, seem to want things straight away and we just can’t seem to wait for anything.

But, if I don’t think of the ‘now’ and instead really consider that question in the way it was meant then I truly have to stretch my mind a long way ahead, then back, and then, to just imagine.

You see, these days I live alone as a bachelor and my mind is entirely focused on the ‘now’.

For me, all the words that make up that question are just harmless single words on a page, but naturally, when looking ahead I think of another person with me along the way of life. This then aligns with my mind and that wrestles with the old idea of ‘the seven -year itch’ by George Axelrod, (that also was his play’s title back in 1952) which, in psychological terms, surmised that after seven years, two people have been together, should part again.

Yet, wanting all things immediately and then after a mere seven years wanting to part, just seems quite sad to me.

Of marriage though, what would I know? as I`ve never been there. I`ve never known what it’s like to live with the same person for those seven years and feel as if something new would be more attractive. But, to me right at this point of life, it just seems a tinge on the careless side to want to leave another after only a few years. Maybe, it’s even a little greedy.

Ideally, it lacks a degree of empathy and surely that’s what marriage should be rich in, right? caring for the other and sticking by them, even if a few years have already passed by with them at your side.

But, If I am to truly look forward to the next seven years then I`ll have to start remembering back to my first seven years for my answer.

Like most people, I was very single for those first seven years of my life. I was free and a child who just loved to play. I wanted fun. Most of my memories of those times were either with people who were having fun or just being happy, and I was with them feeling the same positivity too.

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In many ways, I was a typical small child. I was fit and healthy and had bundles of energy. Although it was my first time on the merry-go-round of a full seven-year chapter in life, I was whizzing through it and it was a blast!

The central axis of those years was playing sport with my friends and family. Each day was filled with endless tussles and scrapes and the will to win was fostered and tested. We never really thought much of what was down the road of life, but instead just concentrated on winning the ball from each other and playing it as we saw fit at that time.

There were hours and hours of play and days upon days of fun. And it was done together.

Of course, by the time I had entered into my second stretch of seven years in life I was now beginning to think a little bit ahead and the big double-digit age of ‘10’ seemed as if I was going to become bigger, stronger, and faster and that’s when I’d play better games and dominate my pals when the ball was around.

See, that’s the thing with life. You`re always looking forward. Even when you`re that young. You’re either told early on in school one day by the teacher who says things like ‘don’t’ forget to take down your homework for later on at home!’ or your parent tell you ‘go to bed early as you’ve got a busy day the next morning!’. Either way, you`re being trained to look ahead.

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But, as all those chapters of seven years in life pass by I sit here alone and have come to the conclusion that looking forward to seven more in life from any standpoint in time, is important. And just as important is looking forward and wanting to be a person that has somehow either got smarter, richer, fitter, better, more mature, or graduated to another level of life. After all, in most ways, we all want to grow, don’t we? But, we often can’t seem to see how, as seven years seems too far away from where we are in the present moment.

Once we develop in this time frame then it’s important to continue to include those basic lessons from when we were children, which, for most of us, included having fun and games together and knowing that we`ve helped another along the way because those around us will have also had to answer their question of ‘what kind of person do you want to be in seven years from now?’.

So long as we keep an eye on those closes to us, the seven years itch will be scratched and the many moments of ‘now’ that make up the years along the way will have been well spent together in life.