Social media and the death of happiness and motivation.
By: Mike Kilcoyne
Tags: Meditation, Beyourself, Journaling, Happiness, Gratitude

Tony Robbins is yelling at me and telling me that everything I want is right in front of me and that I have to go and get it.

It is at that moment that I wake up, every morning.

With a renewed sense of meaninglessness and a massive inferiority complex.

And so, I go to the gym at around 6:30 and the image of somebody like Richard Simmons are telling me to work harder, faster! Sweat dammit!

And I finish my 30-minute workout feeling not refreshed, but like I haven’t done enough.

It’s 7 by the time I get back to my apartment and I’m already far, far behind.

Successful people rocket awake at 4 o’clock and have run a half-marathon by the time you hit snooze.

I sit down in my fuzzy blue chair in the corner of my apartment, and I meditate for 10–15 minutes. Reminding myself that these thoughts are meaningless, but I can’t shake them.

And I remind myself that, I am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy, and I am loved, even though, some days it doesn’t feel like it.

And then Paulo Coelho’s voice is ringing in my head telling me to surrender to the universe.

At that moment, the universe has told me that my car is a piece of shit and that it should stop working.

A few days later, it will.

And at the end of my meditation session, I’m thinking to myself, am I doing enough here.

The answer is no, always no.

I should try transcendental meditation, next, I hear.

That will finally clear up the demons and the worries that run through my mind.

And then after that, I plan out my day, eat the same breakfast that I always do every morning.

Is it enough, I ask myself. Another long day of creating, working with and editing clients projects in the books.

Always frustrated, never knowing.

…

The problem with the millennial generation isn’t that we’re lazy or entitled.

It’s that we’re doing plenty, but that the metrics of success and of what quantifies enough is a moving target. And it’s always on display.

Any great day can be wiped away by turning to my Facebook or Instagram feed to knock myself down a peg.

(Which is a major part of the reason I’ve deleted both of those networks.)

Everything is on display for us. Previous generations never had to compete with that.

Everyone’s most significant wins and life accomplishments are a news-feed scroll away.

That glutton of information has done far more to damage our self-esteem than it has to boost it.

Information is powerful, but so too can it be self-destructive.

Whereas the Space Races of old generally worked to unite us with one another, social media divides us.

Every day is its own space race.

You got a kickass new job doing work you love?

Well, so did your friend, and they’re making double what you are doing half the work.

…

The obvious solution is to delete all social media and avoid the internet.

But that’s not a logical resolution for most folks.

A more practical solution is to spend a few minutes each day being grateful.

Gratitude has a powerful means of rooting us in the now and making us happier (according, to, like, research).

Every morning, after my meditation practice, I spend 10–15 minutes writing a few postcards to friends.

Sharing something of value and being honest with them. “I appreciate you, because [x]”, I’ll write.

But tools like the 5-Minute Journal or gratitude meditations work as well, too.

We are spiritual beings, on a constant quest for meaning in our lives. And often, social media will conflate what we find meaning and value in with what others do, too.

Our goals become their goals, because, their goals sound bigger and better and definitely cooler.

My goals are that awkward middle-school student who used to stare at the floor while he talked to you.

Everyone else’s goals are the cool teacher who might’ve smoked pot with a few students during one of his lunch breaks but please let him off the hook.

Rarely are we ever thinking to ourselves, What moves me?

What have I already accomplished?

A metric that’s far more significant and valuable than, what the fuck is Johnny up to these days ARE YOU SERIOUS HE DID THAT?!?

I’m Mike Kilcoyne, and I’ve done good, I write in my journal.

I cross out good and write, well, and move on with my day with a renewed sense of optimism and hope.