Dear Future, I’m not ready.
Tags: Jobs, Careers, Future

So I just completed my final year of high school and now I don’t know what to do next?

A confused future

My result was supposed to come at the end of May but due to this pandemic situation outside, I can expect it until the end of July. When my finals were approaching to an end, I already had a plan in my mind about the course that I’ll choose for my further studies. But now as there is a lot of time in hand I exposed myself to many future options due to which I am stuck now. So before I tell you all the possibilities of the future, let me talk a little about my past.

When I was very young, I looked up to my mom as a role model, who’s a teacher. She taught at the same school where I studied. So I was impressed by how she has control of 100 students at the same time. And the epic thing was that children would listen to her. But later that point of view of mine changed. Due to two reasons. One because I read it somewhere that the future of education is digital. Another reason is that I got a new aim.

When I was in middle school, I watched this movie called “Gravity”. I was very much inspired by it. Fact: I didn’t understand a thing. But I was so fascinated by the space, the costume, the alien language they spoke. I mean I just fell in love with the white ghost. So I did a little digging on the internet and made it my dream to go to NASA and become an Astronaut. But later I forgot about it. In middle school, my ultimate goal was just to finish school with satisfactory grades. Until “Interstellar” came out. I was stunned. I was amazed by those amazing facts, theories that made me wanna compete for my future, and I even learned morse code. I again dug up on the internet. I did all the possible research on how to become an astronaut. I was all ready. But by the time I completed my 10th grade, I don’t know what came into my mind, and I gave up the idea of being an astronaut but picked up the idea of being a scientist. The word scientist is an exaggeration, so I’ll say I was more into research things. I thought I wanted to learn more about space science, the planets, the universe, and beyond that. So on that vision, I took PCM as the core subjects from 11th and 12th grade. But I didn’t want to be enclosed within those subjects I wanted to keep myself attached to the other activities too like programming, language learning, graphic designing, etc.

During those 2 years, I kept my interest in different fields alive like joined programming contests, took online law classes(very few), even forensic science, learned music, participated in singing competitions, wrote songs, and poetry too, did painting, participated in Google Summer of code, also International Space Olympiad, got my hands on 3D computer graphics, started a podcast but never posted after 3 episodes, even wrote down a book(well, can’t say a book cause its only 10,000 words). After doing all those things, I think I lost my passion for what I was supposed to be. As I watched a lot of spy and detective movies and series, I also had a hunch that maybe I can go for this detective thing. So I did a little research on it like how do become a detective, etc. Maybe it was all just teen curiosity.

As my finals were approaching people asked me what you wanna do after this. I told them that it’s simple. BSc in Physics(hon.), MSc in AstroPhysics, and then Ph.d. It sounded so easy. But it’s not. Most of the chances are that I’ll end up being a teacher. And I don’t want that. If I follow this path I can also go into research things and part-time teachers ain’t bad also. But I don’t know I think I’ll be confined within those walls. My other interests will be gone. I won’t be able to pursue them. In short maybe I’m not that passionate about physics. I also often had thought of pursuing journalism as I have good reading and speaking skills, but not so sure about this path.

Now your future path also depends on your parents. What do my parents want?

According to my mom I should go in that field that will provide me a Stable job later, especially in the government sector. Because there is money. So my mom wants me to either go for simple Bsc in physics or agriculture cause that’s the trend nowadays. Then later I should give the tests for banking or civil servants etc. Because it pays a lot. I gave it a little thought. I might consider it. I’m not so sure. My father wants me to pursue a course that is a high demand in the future and is respectable. In short he’s okay with whatever I do.

According to my brother, I should take psychology. Well it’s a cool name but a stressful one. But it’s not a bad option. It’s actually great. For that I can do Bsc in mathematics and then MSc in psychology. Math is my weak subject so it’s an opportunity for me to get my grip on it. On the other hand, I want to work in forensics at least once in my lifetime. Following this path, I can work as a forensic psychologist. As I even want the ability to study people and help them, I can go for a clinical psychologist. But when I researched it, I guess getting a license to practice is a bit lengthy. Not everyone gets success in this field. Seeing a lot of videos where students dropping off this field makes me want to give up this idea. But I should not worry that far.

Ultimately, this question ends up on me.

What do I want?

I need a course where my interests, curiosity won’t be limited. Such a path in which I can study beyond my expectations. I wanna know about everything. Where I can explore beyond the emptiness. When I read an article about science, I could read it with passion. When I read about human behavior, I could read it with zeal. I want such a field where I can help people. A field that can answer my questions. A field that explains our existence. I want a field that probably doesn’t exist. . . . But I can create it.

In this lockdown situation, I dug a little on the internet about all the courses that are in high demand. And it’s confusing. A lot. So I took my mind away from it and thought of learning something new. I am learning many things these days. I have a love for learning languages so I am learning Korean right now and it’s going smoothly so far. I am regular in it. I started my Podcast and even a blog. Also I am working on my next book. I accidentally discovered these webtoons on the internet and now I read them occasionally. Inspired from it, I wrote a story and currently learning how to make webtoons. And its a headache. I think I can take it as a part-time job. I have no idea how to start. I am also improving my vocals as I am a singer. Gotta work on that. Every morning I watch cooking recipes and try to make them so now I am a cook too. I am even learning how to do animation which is a lot of time-consuming. And I have completely forgotten that I have to study for the competitive exam.

Conclusion