It’s Okay to Cringe Bro
By: Casimir Mura
Tags: Mental Health, Culture, Self Improvement, Psychology, Social Media

It’s Okay to Cringe Bro

Why it might be time to embrace the cringe we feel inside of us.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Watching cringe videos is a pastime that I never expected myself to have. But, it just feels good to watch someone else mess up. In fact, I’m going to go as far as to say that it’s therapeutic. Whenever I have to think of a painful memory from my past, I am slightly comforted by the fact that there is an online archive full of minty videos to cringe to. Even better, if the cringe is too much for me, I can always watch someone else react to a video.

I can still remember one of my earliest cringe moments. And, we all have them, so I don’t feel particularly embarrassed by it anymore. I was in kindergarten and my best friend Matt had betrayed me on the playground. I can’t remember what he did now, but I do remember running up to my teacher — absolutely flustered. “Mom, Matt just did this stupid crazy thing.” I said.

It took milliseconds for me to realize what I had just done. Thankfully, there was no one else in the room. But as soon as I could see my teacher’s grin, I knew I had messed up. I apologized and she laughed it off. The amount of self-awareness I experienced at that moment reached astronomical levels.

I’m reminded of the saying that I read somewhere on the internet that “If you’re cringing at something from the past, that means you’ve grown as a person.” And although that’s a really nice way of tucking the cringe to bed underneath a weighted blanket, it doesn’t scratch the itch entirely for me.

Cringing Reminds You of Absurdity

In an article titled The Unexpected Benefits of Cringing, Melissa Dahl explores the value behind this problematic sensation. After all, if I’m seeking out cringe videos late at night, there must be some reason behind it besides the misfiring of neurons in my sleep-deprived brain. Dahl points out that cringing at something forces ourselves to take the perspective of someone besides ourselves. It makes sure that we can clearly see what we’re doing from an outside perspective.

By cringing, we’re kind of shedding dead skin. We realize, holy shit, that’s not how I or this person should be acting. That’s definitely something valuable for society as a whole if not for ourselves at the very least.

I’ve come to think of cringe as a necessary reminder of the sheer absurdity of being human. If you can learn to appreciate this feeling — if you can learn to laugh at it, and at yourself — you’ll find more joy in your life. I hope I never stop cringing at myself. So far, so good. (M. Dahl)

I sort of agree with Dahl to an extent. It’s important to cringe here and there. It reminds me that I make a much bigger deal over things than I actually have to. It lets me know that I’m not the only one on this planet, and it acknowledges that everything I do has a direct effect on others. It’s a gentle reminder that you aren’t really shit.

Specifically, this talk about cringe also reminds me of Tom Robbins’s Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates. In it, Maestra (the protagonist’s grandmother) gives him a stern talk about the absurdity of self-importance and the value of being able to take everything a bit less seriously.

And that’s why when you’ve exhibited the slightest tendency toward self-importance, I’ve reminded you that you and me — you and I: excuse me — may be every bit as important as the President or the pope or the biggest prime-time icon in Hollywood, but none of us is much more than a pimple on the ass-end of creation, so let’s not get carried away with ourselves. Preventive medicine, boy. It’s preventive medicine.

When people take themselves too seriously, we tend to get some unsavory outcomes. Especially today, with the ability to record anything, no one wants to mess up. And no one certainly wants to be labeled as cringe. But, there is an opportunity to take back the cringe and reassign its purpose. That’s why it’s so important to step back and realize the absurd amount of thought you place into each action sometimes. Cringing can be a valuable tool to do so.

Cringing Makes You More Comfortable With the Uncomfortable

Every inspirational person out there, from David Goggins to Warren Buffett, always has some sort of small piece of advice related to discomfort. They always say something along the lines of “You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.” And cringe-worthy situations are just that. They are very uncomfortable.

So, by exposing ourselves to more cringe, are we becoming better people? I mean, when I’m watching cringe videos, I’m sort of experiencing a high. In a way, I feel like it’s kind of like watching a scary movie. But as with any scary movie, if you know when the jump scares occur, it takes a bit of the edge off. And after watching enough of them, you kind of know what to look out for. The ghosts and demons don’t seem as scary.

I thinking cringing in and of itself is a healthy activity. Cringing is the realization that something embarrassing or awkward has occurred. It allows us to reflect and consider what was so terrible and why it should NEVER happen again. It’s also a nifty tool for picking out certain people that we probably shouldn’t hang out with anymore.

I remember hanging out with this one guy in high school who liked to drive really loud hondas, smoke cigarettes, and just basically participate in a bunch of degenerate behavior. After meeting a ton of his mutuals at different parties, I realized that I was reflecting on a lot of these gatherings and cringing. These kids were always edgy dirtbags with a general attitude that the world owed them everything. It was cringe and I was over it.

By being able to go through an experience like that, I was able to navigate through social groups a bit better in college. I could pick out the authentic people over the ones who claimed to have everything figured out. It was nice. And I don’t think I could’ve come to understand really good social interactions without having gone through both first-hand and second-hand cringe.

Cringing is an emotional experience primarily. It’s visceral. Sometimes it makes me want to disappear entirely. But, it’s also useful. It can show us that we’ve improved. And it can also show us that we still have a long way to go in becoming our ideal selves. Either way, it’s okay to cringe bro. Just let it out.