Commercials that Con and Coerce
By: Janice Arenofsky
Tags: Beyourself, Marketing, Celebrity, Advertising, Spokesperson

I used to pride myself on the belief that I tuned out commercials airing on commercial and cable TV stations. Of course I wasn’t oblivious to the catchy tunes or to the quirky logos, but I thought I was a cut above that. Reason ruled my decisions, not advertising gimmicks. Or so I thought.

I believed that I was among that minority of intelligent consumers who are never influenced by Madison Avenue advertisers but make up their minds based on common sense factors such as quality, cost, and reliability.

But prolonged sheltering-in-place due to the pandemic has revealed a new side of me. Last summer for three solid months before the election I couldn’t tear myself away from CNN. Even during commercials I was there, eyes riveted to the HDTV.

Surprisingly, at least to me, advertisers repeat the same commercial dozens of times during the day. For instance, I would see the one with Tom Selleck, who practically gallops onto the screen and prefaces his hard sell of second mortgages to seniors with a heartfelt, “This isn’t my first rodeo.”

Selleck was chosen for a good reason, and it isn’t just because he’s still handsome in an earthy-cowboy kind of way. He was chosen because of his track record in attracting females of a certain demographic. As Magnum PI in his blockbuster detective series days, he practically gushed macho sexuality. I remember tuning in every week and watching him solve cases while wooing bodacious broads.

Although I know all this, I still would buy just about anything from Tom Selleck. Give me some swamp land in Jersey and I’m happy. Some people, usually celebs, have the credibility of an atomic bomb. Listen up, they seem to shout. So I pay close attention, then I open my wallet.

On the same channel a Medicare commercial/PSA runs frequently. The celebrity spokesperson is none other than former football superstar Joe Namath. He extolls the value of calling a phone number to learn about benefits, and I imagine by now thousands of seniors have keyed in that 800 number. Don’t ask me what they get because I haven’t followed up on Joe’s entreaty. I never was a football fan.

I have to admit that it came as a grand shock to me that I could be so vulnerable to the words of a celebrity spokesperson, but the biggest shock of all were the commercials run by the ASPCA, sometimes narrated by celebs.

The cameras would roll, and if it was summer, I’d see these poor animals suffering from heat exhaustion and dehydration. The voice-over would plead with me— just 65 cents a day — to save another animal. Tears would stream down my face, and I’d insist my husband write out a hefty check.

This commercial played so much and tortured me to such a degree that I had to turn off the sound until it was over or else I would have emptied out our savings account, sold the house and cashed in whatever bonds we had left.

Before I did anything drastic, I figured I’d google the ASPCA to find out if they actually paid for these umpteen commercials or if networks considered them PSAs. I found out more than I ever wanted to know.

First, my over-reaction was normal — these messages, I learned from reporters, are scripted to wring as much emotional pain as possible from people like me. At the same time I learned that the ASPCA may not be as virtuous as the organization may appear. One article said they kill more animals than they save. When I heard that, I was of course devastated.

I wondered what I should do before I donated any more monies. Then I remembered the consumer advice to consider the source. Using Google, I could vett the organization and other charitable associations by evaluating the expertise of the reporting sources from which I was getting the information. I knew this would be especially important in the case of conflicting reports.

Like a lot of people I depend on TV and other media for reliable information, and if commercials only play to the emotions, then I was being duped. And I couldn’t always wait for a “60 Minutes” or another investigative show every time I decided to give a charitable donation or sign up for car insurance. I knew I had just so much energy and time to expend on decisions to buy or donate.

One confession I need to make is that I’m lazy about researching products. Even on Amazon, where you can get enough feedback for an army, I barely skim through the comments. And then there’s my normal skepticism. I wonder who really wrote this comment in front of me. Was it a real person or an impersonator paid by the publicity department of a company? I know I shouldn’t trust just anyone, and the volume of feedback on Amazon makes me skeptical.

My husband is even worse. So far he has bought umpteen hundred rings from an online vendor. The rings are relatively cheap, but I sense the company makes money on the shipping fees. I don’t know how that’s done, but I know the consumer is getting ripped off.

Once the vendor has my credit card, and puts me on their “buy” list, they can bombard me with hundreds of emails every month, hoping more products will pique my fancy. Of course that’s an easy ad technique to combat. I just delete, delete, delete. I wish it were that easy with the TV commercials. The only way to escape that is to stream programming via the Internet although even that is subtle advertising for Amazon and Netflix.

I can’t escape it. I can run, but I can’t hide from advertisers. I’ve learned a few tricks along the way, however:

1. I first ask myself, Do I need this product, or is it going to be passed on to someone else because I won’t be able to figure out how to put it together?

2. Do I hum the music accompanying the commercial? If so, that’s a bad sign I’m getting sucked into the vortex of sentimentality.

3. If it’s a novelty item for my pet, I scan the “playroom” and see if they’re playing with other previously purchased novelty items. If not, I skip buying this once in a lifetime $19.95 offer.

4. Can I exercise on it? How many Nordic Track runners do I need to buy to convince myself that I’m not going to lose weight that way?

5. I can find out if it’s made in China — -if so, I don’t want it because who knows if they’ve coated the gadget with lead paint or poisoned the product in a similar way.

Last of all, I try to critique my advertising criteria once in a while. I know I’m not impervious to devious ploys. I can be persuaded in many nuanced ways.

I’m an average consumer who often thinks with her impulse center rather than her brain. Which is why I still watch Tom Selleck whenever I can.

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