fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
S(he)
By: Mackenzie Lerario
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Transgender, Transgender Rights, Coming Out

Although outdated in upholding binary gender norms, this poem describes my thought process in making the decision to come out in 2016. Many healthcare providers advise transgender patients to undergo medical and surgical transitions if making the decision based on their own desires, and not others’ expectations.

My first tattoo, obtained shortly after coming out. Many have questioned if I regret the tattoo because (1) I cannot go “stealth,” (2) I now identify outside the gender binary. My answer: I still shout proudly, visibly the best decision I ever made.

She smells perfume,

but cannot wear it.

She does it in secret.

She adores pink,

but is entangled in blue.

She rebels.

Forced to disrobe

the dress she wears,

she defies.

She pleads,

It is my life, not only a scent.

It is my life, not only a color.

It is my life, not only a garment.

She washes off her perfume,

water smearing her blush.

Her dress at her feet,

she remains a woman.

She sees herself.

She is not defined by a scent,

or a color,

or a garment.

Yet she wears them.

And they see her.

They snarl,

they stare,

and they shame her.

They plead,

This is your life, it’s only a scent.

This is your life, it’s only a color.

This is your life, it’s only a garment.

She listens.

Yet she will not remove her fragrance,

nor adorn a faded color.

She wears these clothes,

because she does it for herself.
MY FAMILY WOULD NOT ACCEPT MY TRANS PARTNER
Tags: Gender Identity, Dating Tips, Lgbt Community, Transgender, Transgender People

MY FAMILY WOULD NOT ACCEPT MY TRANS PARTNER transsingle ·Nov 25, 2020

It can be stressful and debilitating when your family members don’t acknowledge the affection for your life for being transgender. Regardless of whether you have chosen to open up about your status or you need to go to bat for the transgender network, managing relatives, particularly guardians, can be hard.

While it may be difficult to talk to your parents, you ought to comprehend that this is enormous news for them and it might come as a stunning. You have to give your parents some space to take it all in. Additionally, you can look for outer assistance by joining a care group, warming up to individuals who share similar assessments. Most importantly, show restraint….[read more]
I’m Not Broken, Not Yet
By: Justin Dickens
Tags: Running, LGBTQ, Divorce, Gender Identity, Breakups

I don’t need to voice the details, I don’t need to tell the stories, I don’t need others to know what happened. I don’t need pity, or encouragement. I don’t need sympathy. I know what I need to move forward, it’s none of those things, and I don’t want it. To really let go, to really reconnect to myself, my love, my dreams, my passion, my energy, my zest for the one life I get to take a chance on, I know what must happen, and I’m not ready. I’m not ready to be broken. I am not ready to allow my body to feel all the feels, all the feels I’ve refused to feel, all the brokenness. All the ways I wasn’t enough, no matter th eeffort, at my core, I was incapable. I am not ready. I won’t feel broken.

It seems the only way to move forward is to let go, embrace the experience I know is waiting for me, to welcome it to wash over me, to feel all the feels, and I just don’t want to. Not tonight. No, not this night.
Patsy Starke
By: Patsy Starke
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Poetry, Transgender, Poetry On Medium

I see their looks

Our paths cross,

I feel their looks

Am I not a woman?

Who do you see?

When you look at me

Can you see what I have seen?

Can you see what I feel?

If looks could kill, I should be a victim

Look at my mirror

See from my eyes,

when you stare at me

Who should I be?

Not who you think you see

No But, who I am…

Patsy Starke, 11/24/2020
LGBTQ in Thailand
By: Chompunick Luanganggoon
Tags: Thailand, LGBTQ, Gender Identity, English Version, Gender Equality

-difference, not nuisance-

.

Apart from diversity in the biological sex, dualism affects every aspect of the gender topic and the LGBTQ community still suffer from it.

“LGBTQ is not a natural error. It’s a diversity. All about gender is more than a binary. It’s a spectrum.”

Thai people had made a habit of name-calling. The common gender-related ones are Kratoey (transwomen), Tood (effeminate men), Gay (gay men), Tom (transmen) and Dee (lesbians). The names all have a kind of negative connotation as they’re usually in the context of ridicule. We treat the LGBTQ with comedic regard which implies that we still see them as abnormal.

This habit of ours is harming the LGBTQ community, making them feel as if they don’t belong and setting a condition that if they want to belong, they need to be okay with disrespect because they are of humor value.

The complexity of identity isn’t taught in most of our schools so there’s still a lack of understanding about gender diversity hence also a lack of acceptance to who the LGBTQ really are as people.

.

Biological Sex

Is our sex organs. It’s assigned to us by birth and presently there are three including male, female and intersex.

Gender Identity

Is our brains. It’s the gender we personally identify with. It’s your truth regardless of what others tell you. There’re currently many labels you can choose from, examples being: woman, man, transman, transwoman, genderqueer, agender, nonbinary, etc. And increasing as time goes by.

Gender Expression

Is the clothes we put on, the mannerism we display. It’s the side society sees from our intentional expressions. The chosen gender characteristics we express could have nothing to do with our biological sex, gender identity or sexual orientation at all because it’s purely our choice.

Sexual Orientation

Is our hearts we love with. It’s the feeling of attraction. Our body reacts to that feeling very genuinely for people who do hold gender identities.

Sexual orientation can be sorted into two main groups:

1.Monosexuality — people who’re sexually attracted to 1 gender

· Straight

· Gay

· Lesbian

· etc.

2. Multisexuality — people who’re sexually attracted to more than 1 gender, or feel no attraction.

· Bisexual

· Pansexual

· Asexual

· Questioning

· etc.

As you can see, this is a delicate matter. Asking most Thais to accept this change sure is going to be uncomfortable for them.

In a country where we stereotyped LGBTQ as some kind of source of amusement. When they become serious (about being taken more seriously), society would question why they aren’t being funny like before?

.

In a country where its education has dualism written all over it, the society would question why we want to make something simple much more complex than it needs to be?

— — —

Biological sex is our body

Gender identity is our mind

Gender expression is our chosen image

& Sexual orientation is our attraction tendency

— — —

We have a question back to society;

For the sake of fellow human-beings, is this really that hard to grasp?
I enjoy your stories, but I would enjoy them more if your language were more respectful of the people in your stories. I’m sure you mean no disrespect, so please take a moment to learn more about…
By: April M. Hamm, She They
Tags: LGBTQ, Writing Tips, Gender Identity, Gender, Transgender

I enjoy your stories, but I would enjoy them more if your language were more respectful of the people in your stories.

I’m sure you mean no disrespect, so please take a moment to learn more about trans terminology. The article contains a list of outdated, inaccurate, and offensive terms (with explanation) along with an informative list of terms to use instead.

Please update your stories with improved terminology, or risk alienating everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community who might otherwise support your work.

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/transgender-identity-terms-and-labels
In The Reflections
By: Jas Martinez
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Poetry, Transgender, Self

In The Reflections

Photo by Dmitry Bayer on Unsplash

Every day I see you

In the reflections

You have always been with me

There in the angles

I see you, looking back at me

I see you, but I also see me

You don’t look like me

Your hair longer, your face softer

I see you, but why do I see you?

I see you, but I don’t want you there

I feel you, I’m afraid of you

I see you, but only I can see you

I see you, but can’t explain you

I can’t say, I shouldn’t say

They won’t believe what they can’t see

I see you, but are you real?

I see you, but can I believe you?

If you see me, I must be real

I am here in the reflections

Waiting… waiting for you to only see her
PASSING TIPS FOR FTM TRANSGENDER MEN
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Dating Advice, Transgender, Transgender Rights

The life of a FTM Transgender Men can be extremely troublesome, particularly on the off chance that they don’t pass as male. In the event that you don’t pass as a male, going out in broad daylight can be overwhelmingly testing and scaring. At the point when somebody who is attempting to be obliging alludes to you as “ma’am,” it very well may be hindering to your endeavors to grasp your manliness. The following are a few hints to enable you to pass as a male out in the open. While these tips may not fix everything, they will, in any event, diminish the odds of being alluded to as “ma’am.”…[more]
Transgender Day of Rest & Remembrance
By: Tko Society Editors
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Trans Day Of Remembrance, Black Queer, Transgender

Illustration of Rita Hester, Source: Making Queer History

2020 has been a year of tremendous loss. Even in the midst of the unrelenting turmoil that’s been affecting the nation, anti-trans violence and bigotry hasn’t let up. On record, this year has been the most threatening to the lives of TGNC people, mostly Black and Latinx. Today on Transgender Day of Remembrance, it’s important that Black and Brown TGNC folks not only take a moment to remember the lives of those that we have lost, but that we also remember to rest.

Rest: cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. It comes from the Latin word restare, which means to remain.

Rest is a temporary yet integral part of living that helps us to remain. Rest for TGNC folks is revolutionary liberation because in most instances, the work that we do becomes us because it matters so much. We often feel that if we stop, then the work stops. This simply isn’t true. When we rest we restore ourselves, we heal something in ourselves, and we return with clearer thoughts, we’re sharper, and more agile in the way that we handle our work and the challenges of it.

This isn’t a call to neglect your responsibilities, but instead a reminder that you are worthy of being able to take a moment, even a small one, to curl up in the space of a pause to get whatever it is that you need to restore yourself.

You’re allowed to release hurt, pain, anger, and sadness in that moment. You’re also allowed to revel in what brings you joy, what makes you feel so loved. You’re allowed to feel a combination of it all. Feel the entirety of your glorious experience because after all, isn’t it still glorious? The beauty of you and your life and the community that you have — take it in for a moment.

We have some tools and resources to support you in creating an ongoing rest care practice. TKO is providing self-care boxes for Black and Brown TGNC folks in the South for free, and if you would like one or to send one to someone that you care for please go to the link here. Items include personal hygiene supplies, make up, gender affirming garments, intimate partner kits and more.

Let someone you love know that it’s okay for them to rest, and even if they don’t understand it, they have to allow you to rest, this is all a part of community care. It’s not only about the action, it’s about the pause and trusting that you have done enough, but you can only do more if you rest first.
The repressed underdogs
By: Ankoor Anvekar
Tags: Gender Identity, Gender, Mens Health, Mens Day, Men

The repressed underdogs

Now many would disagree to the level of trauma men go through as compared to women. However, this article is not about comparing who suffers the most, but rather a humble attempt in acknowledging the other side of gender abuse as well.

After 21 years of laying foundation for celebrating the role of men in the society, nothing really has changed, except mere recognition.

"IMD was founded on 19th November 1999 by Dr. Jerome Teelucksingh, a history lecturer at the University of West Indies in Trinidad Tabago"

Many might argue that in this male dominated world there is no need to hype the presence of masculinity. But we need to look beyond the dominance and stand for those who suffer in silence.

Men with character, diligence, chivalry and most important who are not running behind gender race.

It is about celebrating those men who make a difference for the greater good of all.

Here are some of the interesting facts about men that are made known to us with research over the period of time:

Men have 3 times higher suicide rate than woman

1 in 3 men are victims of domestic abuse

On an average men die 4-5 years before women

Men are nearly twice as likely to suffer from lung cancer than woman

Today men are supposed to obey or are still trapped in stereotypes rules of masculinity. They are expected to hide their emotions, not cry during emotional turbulence and many others.

The list will go on but what is important is to create or make place for our own identity, a space where your presence would be appreciated. It applies to both men and women.

Nevertheless, someone said it on a lighter note, "We men don't need a day to celebrate ourselves, but rather 'happy hours' at a table would suffice".

Cheers to both Men and Women!
THE BENEFITS OF POSITIVE PORTRAYALS OF TRANS CHARACTERS IN MEDIA
Tags: Trans Characters In Media, Gender Identity, Lgbt Community, Transgender Woman, Trans Model

THE BENEFITS OF POSITIVE PORTRAYALS OF TRANS CHARACTERS IN MEDIA transsingle ·Nov 16, 2020

In media, depictions of trans individuals are rare. Significantly more uncommon are trans characters who are really depicted emphatically. Truly, it isn’t the most effortless thing to compose a trans character, fundamentally on the grounds that many individuals who attempt to keep in touch with them have never met a trans individual, in actuality, previously (well, not to their best information, in any case). While the recurrence of trans portrayal is still to some degree low, it has gotten significantly better as of late over an assortment of media. TV, computer games, books, films, even comic books. For some, the most well-known instances of trans characters in media are in film and TV. What comes promptly to mind is Transparent, a show that here and there was extraordinary, yet in others, a touch of frustration….[read more]
Gender Identity and Parental Obstruction
By: Ashley L. Peterson
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Transgender, Justice, Transgender Rights

Gender Identity and Parental Obstruction

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Recently, I read a story in the local news that made me angry (not that that’s unusual lately). A mother had gone to court to try to block her 17-year-old from getting a gender-affirming double mastectomy. A BC Supreme Court judge issued an injunction to stop the surgery that was scheduled to happen the next day.

In British Columbia, the Canadian province where I live, there isn’t a set age of consent for medical procedures. The Infants Act covers anyone under the age of 19, and describes mature minor consent, which allows a minor to give consent independent of their parent’s wishes if a health care provider determines they are able to understand the elements of informed consent in the same way a competent adult would.

The mother has sued the doctor and surgeon involved to stop the surgery from going ahead without her consent until the Courts can make a determination around whether the minor has the capacity to consent. The mother is also seeking to block any sort of hormone therapy, and put a stop to the testosterone that the minor has been receiving for the last several months.

According to a CBC article, the mother stated through her lawyer that the minor was “caught up in a fad,” and she blamed a specific LGBTQ+ resource in the public education system for “pushing depressed and anxiety-ridden girls to gender-change clinics when what they need is psychiatric care.” Seriously?

In a similar case in 2019 involving a 15-year-old and gender-affirming hormone therapy, the Supreme Court rejected the parent’s case, and that ruling was upheld by the Court of Appeal earlier this year.

I find it really disgusting that parents are willing to choose ignorance and/or judgment over supporting their child, and choose invalidation over acceptance. They don’t have to understand, they don’t have to like it, but to ignore a mature minor’s decision-making capacity and go to court to force their child’s body to be a certain way that fundamentally contradicts their identity seems abusive. Talk to them, try to understand what their experience is. Don’t blame fads and the school system. Remove head from ass.

When people choose ignorance for themselves, that’s one thing, but when they try to bash their child over the head with it, that’s not okay. And I really hope that once this injunction runs out near the end of this month, the Court will kick this mother’s butt to the curb and affirm this mature minor’s right to whatever gender-affirming care they (I’m unsure of their pronouns of choice) need. I also hope that this teen has other people in their life who are prepared to step up to the plate and accept and validate them.

So yeah, I’m angry about this news story. Trans youth, and trans people in general, have enough shit they have to deal with without having this kind of obstructionist crap. They deserve so much better.
How to Be a Dude-Bro™
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Identity, Culture, Transgender

Jumping back into the story, I had to go to my local health care provider, Kaiser Permanente, to do a bit of lab work today. I needed to have my blood drawn to double check that my T levels are where they should be, and I needed to provide a specimen in order to start Accutane next week (because the T-acne is killing me).

I knew ahead of time that I would need to Dude-Bro™ it up in order to make my time in the medical offices easier. I wore my forest green pullover with a pair of black “men’s shorts,” some black crew socks and tennis shoes, and I pulled my hair into a “man-bun.” I was fairly confident that I passed as someone who would be gendered Man upon first glance, and I was right.

Once I got to Kaiser, I made sure to consistently do all of the bro tricks. I walked with my chest puffed out, kept my hands in my pockets, took longer strides, and made sure to look like I knew what I was doing. I didn’t smile or make small talk with strangers like I would’ve back when I was read as a young woman, though the state of the pandemic in California also played a role in that change.

When I was called on to check in at the lab, I was greeted as a “sir.”

Here are my top surgery results. Some of you have already seen this picture, but it makes me incredibly happy, so I’m putting it in again.

Being almost six months on T meant that my voice wouldn’t out me when I checked in. Having top surgery meant that my binder wouldn’t be another potential give-away. Calling ahead of time and making sure my name was changed in their system meant that everything would line up.

“What’s your name and date of birth?”

“Oakley Phoenix. August 30th, 2001.”

“You’re having blood work and a urine sample, correct?” I nodded.

“Follow me this way, sir.”

The lab work went quickly. I was in and out of there in less than fifteen minutes. I texted my ride to let her know I was ready.

As I stood waiting in the loading and unloading area, a Kaiser worker approached me, “Do you want any hand sanitizer, bro?”

Yeah, that one caught me off guard. I said, “No, thank you,” — which was, in hindsight, more of a femme-coded response than I probably should’ve given. A “Nah, man” or a “Thanks bro, but no” might’ve worked better with the way I was aiming to present, but it ended up being fine.
Gender Norms and Why I Do Not Want to Pass
By: Rachel Brindell
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Gender, Transgender, Equality

However, I have reached a point in my transition where passing is not required, nor desired. I live in a liberal state, New York, that has its own gender protection laws, and violence towards trans people seems to be at a minimum. Additionally, I feel like I can now live authentically and unapologetically as I was meant to all along.

I remember when I first came out a few years ago and went through the tedious and anxiety ridden process of coming out to my loved ones and friends, I was asked by several of them how far I was going to transition, and frankly at the time I didn’t know. My response was “until I feel comfortable in my own skin”.

Now it is three years later and I have reached that comfort level. Oh, sure I still have bouts with my old friend Gender Dysphoria, but they seem to be more like spats rather than all-out war like it did for so many decades of my life. I have had a hair transplant; electrolysis of my beard, an orchiectomy and breast augmentation and they have all helped to a degree.

But I realize now it is not only the physical, but my emotional outlook that has allowed me to feel comfortable in my own skin. Until I was able to stop the hiding and lying to myself (and everyone else) about who I truly am, I was never going to reach this point. The anxiety, shame, guilt and pain of living a duplicitous life is gone now. I am out to everyone, and no longer have to cover up the truth that I am transgender, resulting in a clearer emotional state, finally letting go of the anxiety, shame, guilt and pain with a lot of help from my fantastic therapist.
BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER THE FIRST DATE WITH A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
Tags: Ftm Dating Site, Gender Identity, Dating A Trans Woman, Online Dating, Transgender Dating Site

BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER THE FIRST DATE WITH A TRANSGENDER WOMAN transsingle ·Nov 8, 2020

After your long quest for a transgender girlfriend, at last, proves to be fruitful, your best course of action ought to be to ask her out on a date. Obviously, you need to ensure that you dazzle her during the first date however, this is additionally the most effortless chance to wreck things. To boost your chances of a second date, you should do some pre-date arranging and planning. Getting things directly during the principal date will absolutely impress your transgender girlfriend. The following are some significant hints that will assist you with having an effective first date with a transgender woman….[here]
TIPS ON HOW TO FEMINIZE YOUR HANDS AS AN MTF TRANS WOMAN
Tags: Gender Identity, Mtf Dating Site, Lgbt Community, Male To Female, Tips For Feminizing

TIPS ON HOW TO FEMINIZE YOUR HANDS AS AN MTF TRANS WOMAN transsingle ·Nov 3, 2020

As an MTF trans woman, harsh hands can be a headache for you on your quest for a feminine touch. Having rough hands is understandable due to how much they endure. Sadly, unpleasant hands play with your feminine touch as well as make your hands appear as though they have a place with somebody more established than you. On the off chance that you need to be tasteful and up-to-date, you should deal with your hands a similar way you deal with your face. Regardless of whether you can’t change the structure of your hands, you can change how they feel to the touch. Below are some tips that will help you make your hands look more feminine…[learn more]
Wow, I was just thinking about that yesterday, Kristen. I'm so glad to read about your thought as deep as mine. I was watching YouTube and came across real love stories of transgender falling in love…
Tags: Gender Identity, Homosexuality, Homophobia, Transgender, Gender Equality

Wow, I was just thinking about that yesterday, Kristen. I'm so glad to read about your thought as deep as mine. I was watching YouTube and came across real love stories of transgender falling in love with a woman and a lesbian falling in love with a transgender. The stories led to happy marriages with children. I have almost concluded that there is no gender for souls. They get to these bodies with different anatomies, physiologies, and whatever deviations it may have. Hormones and chromosomes may not be homogenous with sexual anatomy so thereby some male bodies may not be acting accordingly or vice versa for females. And then love comes along which I believe has no gender for souls. Anyways, nobody can really come up with accurate facts about this matter because God alone can. But it's really nice to entertain ourselves with our thoughts that we believe in to further give us peace. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'm glad I am not alone in this journey of... DEEPER THOUGHTS.
Cisgender For a Day
By: Rachel Brindell
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Lessons Learned, Self Love, Transgender

Still feels pretty much normal. But I did learn some important lessons.

1. Being cis would not make me any happier.

2. Being cis made me feel very ordinary. Not unique or somewhat mythical as I feel about being trans.

3. I lost my visibility. That was a crushing blow. I feel almost a responsibility to be visible as an older transgender female. I know how much I have affected everyday people in a positive way by being a kind person, a tax paying citizen, like everyone else, not the demonized version of trans people we are used to seeing in movies and TV shows of not too long ago.

4. Being cisgender is not the cure for being transgender. Accepting who I am, living authentically and unapologetically is the cure. Oh, sure the HRT and surgeries help too.

5. I realized that trying to fit in to a cisgender hetero-normative world only causes me pain. The Queer world is where I belong. I’m happy to be here too. Oh of course I love my cis family and friends as much as ever, need and crave their love and support but it’s not enough to fill my soul. I am Queer, and I need more and I can see that now. Queer people understand the struggles and how hard they are to overcome even for someone like me who hid it so well for decades never giving a clue to anyone that I suffered at all.
Establishing someone’s gender DOES matter.
By: Kel Bachus
Tags: Gender Identity, Nonbinaryvoices, Nonbinary Identity, Transvoice, Transgender

We can learn these words and use them, along with the other 30,000 words the average adult knows.

A cismale professor of gender wrote an article here on Medium explaining how we shouldn’t make a big deal of peoples’ pronouns. We shouldn’t ask, or bring the issue up, we shouldn’t draw attention to or overfocus on pronouns because, he reasoned, what does gender really mean anyway? Don’t we really do harm to people by othering them with their gender differences? Aren’t we forcing people into gender boxes?

I love it when cis people bring up this argument, the “gender is a construct anyway,” argument, like it’s the first time trans and nonbinary people have heard it, like it’s this Deep Thought no one’s had before.

Spoiler: it’s not.

In fact it’s so common it’s on the Trans Nonbinary Bingo Card, right along with “‘they’ just isn’t grammatical, and I’m all about grammar” and “well, she didn’t look like a woman, how was I supposed to know?”

I’m a professor too, a transmasc nonbinary professor.

Does my being trans nonbinary have anything to do with being a professor (I teach game design)? Yes! It absolutely does.

Does my being trans nonbinary have anything to do with being a professor of game design? Yes! It absolutely does.

Unlike my cismale gender studies counterpart (the gender studies thing kills me, folks, kills me — just… how??), I take particular care to focus on and bring attention to the pronouns he claims we should ignore.

First day of the semester, all my classes. I write my name up on the dry erase board, along with my pronouns. I pronounce my name clearly. I explain that I am not a doctor of anything (I don’t have a PhD), and please call me by my first name, not Professor.

The moment I announce publicly that I use they/them or he/him pronouns my nonbinary and trans students know they have an instructor who not only understands and approves of them, but is like them. I see smiles, out in the room. I see students relax, visibly.

Later they often thank me for giving my pronouns, for outing myself as trans and nonbinary, because they are too.

I’ve had students decide to come out as nonbinary and/or trans because I’m out.
I prefer “bio woman” when a distinction needs to be made between women and transwomen, because the…
By: Angela Volkov
Tags: Gender Identity, Gender Roles, Gender Dysphoria, Sex, Transgender

I prefer “bio woman” when a distinction needs to be made between women and transwomen, because the only time it does is as regards biological realities. Real, observable differences which constrain a person rather than the metaphysics of opt-in gender identity. A woman claiming male gender identity isn’t going to be spared FGM, nor is a transman in a men’s prison going to be able to use it as some sort of talisman against rape. Nor does it in itself obviate the sexual assault risk profile or criminality associated with biological men, or their profound physical advantages in women’s sports.

All the new concept of “innate” gender identity does is legitimise the way a person chooses to express themselves, while ideally society would require no such rationalisation for not adhering to gendered dress codes or naming conventions.

Gender dysphoria is real, but we don’t need a word for the absence of each and every condition out there. I mean, am I also cisabled because the counterpoint of transabled (people whose body and therefore the way they are regarded socially does not reflect their felt identity as disabled) exists?

A term like “cis” requires buying into an ideology with a very specific purpose. I don’t view “cis” as a slur per se, though it certainly can be when there’s an implication that being born female and then being subjected to the way girls are socialised is some sort of “privilege” transwomen are missing out on.

I would address a transperson by their chosen name and pronouns, but that means I also get to opt-out of labels that do not describe me and my experience of being, rather than “feeling” like, a woman.

The “cis” doesn’t mean “sissy” bit and the Latin lesson is talking down to people. What does such a poorly constructed strawman achieve apart from alienating readers?
Such logic is dangerous lol
By: Rachel Rogers
Tags: Vagina, Gender Identity

…ave ever known in my own life — how can I possibly identify as anything other than the male gender? In the same way that I do not identify as a bear because I am not 300 kilos of furry muscle, I do not identify as a female, because I do not possess a vagina.
WAYS TO MAKE TRANS WOMEN LOOK LESS MASCULINE WITHOUT GETTING “THE SURGERY”
Tags: LGBTQ, LGBT, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Transgender

WAYS TO MAKE TRANS WOMEN LOOK LESS MASCULINE WITHOUT GETTING “THE SURGERY” transsingle ·Oct 20, 2020

For trans ladies, looking masculine can truly negatively affect psychological wellness and overall satisfaction. The people around you may knowingly or unknowingly allude to you as “he” or “him” simply due to the manner in which you look. In any case, facial hair, enormous arms, or level chest doesn’t make you any to a lesser extent a lady than a young lady with huge boobs and expansive hips.

For individual reasons, you may select to not get gender reassignment surgery and that is completely fine. It is your everyday routine and you should experience it the most ideal way you see fit. Here are a couple of approaches to make yourself look less manly without getting “the surgery”… [learn more]
Hi Abbie!
Tags: Genderfluidity, Gender Roles, Gender, Gender Identity

Hi Abbie!

I am so happy to hear from you. I can’t remember where you live, but if you are anywhere around SF let me know.

On your topic, I agree wholeheartedly, and I haven’t spoken about it much since it is rather personal in some cases and revoluionary to the point of heresy in others.

In the spirit of inquiry- I’ll share my perceptions to add to the universe of said things.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR GENDER — STATE-BY-STATE AND STEP-BY-STEP
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Change Gender, Lgbt Community, Transgender

Eventually, your next step for lawful progress will be to change your gender marker. Presently, this part is altogether more troublesome and fluctuates uncontrollably from state to state. A few states are relatively simple, while others are a correct genuine annoyance.

For instance, I am advantaged to have done this in Minnesota, which has one of the more trans-accommodating laws with respect to gender change. For me, I needed to talk with a physician about my gender identity and present a report from her confirming that she believes my gender identity to be valid (however unexpectedly, the Judge directing my case didn’t request it! Don’t gamble on that though ), close by dabbing my It’s an intersection my it’s obviously. I got it changed on my social security card, my birth certificate, and my photo ID… [learn more]
You can dislike Non-binary people and not be a Transphobe
By: Robin Kyrie
Tags: LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Transphobia, Gender, Equality

You can dislike Non-binary people and not be a Transphobe

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

There is no issue to me with someone who dislikes non-binary people. Someone who dislikes non-binary people that is their right, to hold their opinion. This dislike isn’t something I find inherently transphobic. This dislike I view as something that is more based on the fact it’s still — at least in western colonial lands — a new phenomenon that people have to get used to. I state western colonial areas because of the number of areas originally used to have identities for people outside of the gender binary. So when does a dislike of nonbinary people become transphobic?

Regardless of your dislike — how you treat people is key.

If you keep your dislike to yourself, treat people as people with feelings and opinions, regardless of their gender identity and pronouns, then that is not transphobic. Nor is your dislike — it is likely one born from misunderstanding or unsure as to if there are any effects on you. Hint — someone else being non-binary does not affect you, beyond asking you to remember their pronouns.

If however, you feel the need to police another individual, and to try and police how they present. Suppose you feel a need to ignore pronouns — something that is deeply personal, and a basic level of respect for anyone. If you feel the need to take away a person's rights because of their gender identity and pronouns. That? That is transphobic behaviour right there. I would ask what makes you want to police something that isn’t their choice and doesn’t affect you beyond needing to remember pronouns and be a decent human being.

Your actions make all the difference between your dislike being just a dislike or transphobia.

Remain respectful, treat others with respect, utilise the pronouns they ask you to, and educate yourself on what it is to be non-binary. You won’t ever be called out for your dislike, as it won’t be transphobic. Attempt to remove rights, be disrespectful and make yourself feel comfortable by putting other people in boxes that they have told you they don’t fit in? That — that is transphobic behaviour, and it is on you to fix that. We can educate and explain, but you have to be willing to listen.
What is your name?
By: Mharla Santiano
Tags: Gender Identity, Pronouns

What is your name?

It is a question that lets us add another star in the galaxy of our being. They could be names of films that catch our eyes as the algorithm knows us better, names of flavors that harmonize with the creams at your local coffee shop, or names of people that have their own galaxies of their own being as well.

Our names are the first piece of our identity we offer to other people’s hands, so they could keep it safe, and hopefully, not break them. The second piece? Our pronouns. When our names slide off the radar for a few clock ticks, our pronouns hover to take its place. In the mainstream of issues that flow in our society’s consciousness, the conversations of pronouns have not yet made its mark to awareness. Truly, there are a lot of loose cogs we have yet to fix to make our progress as a society faster, and even though pronouns may be a smaller cog than others, it’s still worth a check-up.

Assuming is easy. It’s an internal battle you win for yourself. No discomfort, no mistakes, just assumptions. That should not always be the case. As newer times introduce us to a platform for vessels of uniqueness free from shame, new friends take the shape of different colors, beliefs, and even identities. When we see a woman dressed by the checklist of society’s standards, it may be possible that the woman goes by “he” and “him.” Through an assuming lens, the woman is a she and a her. That lens should be covered and thrown away. Misgendering a person — the act of using the wrong pronouns in addressing a person — is probably just a fumble of your words, but to those affected, it can crumble their identity they spent a long time building.

Asking is easy as well. When we ask, it is a statement that tells others that pronouns do not follow a criterion, that it is not only black and white. When introducing ourselves, and we include our pronouns just among our hobbies, age, and where we came from, it sends the message to others that it is worth telling, it is something we state for ourselves, and not for others to assume.

In our little quarantine bubbles, typing in your pronouns in your Twitter bios can help the society’s pool of identity become a little clearer and bigger. It can also be seen as a supporting hand to the transgender community — when at most times, they change their pronouns that reflect their truest self — because we are aware that aspects of our gender is not a water body that flows in one direction, it is a galaxy we make up for ourselves.
How I Knew I Was Trans
By: Victoria Strake
Tags: Self-awareness, LGBTQ, Gender Identity, Gender, Transgender

Answering a question I’ve received from a surprising number of people.

Since coming out a lot of people I know have asked how I knew I was trans, so it must be a common curiosity. The complete answer is, of course, both beyond my own understanding and also kinda messy, but here is a sort of metaphor to illustrate the symbolic process I went through.

Imagine two empty fish bowls. Fill one with everything masculine, the other with everything feminine — everything, from clothes to roles to attributes, all possible gendered things are separated out. Now smash them both on the floor and mix it all together so you can’t tell which thing came from which bowl.

Now from that mess collect everything you like, everything that feels good. This is a process of experimentation, since you can’t just think about it. Thinking only gets you so far. To know something you have to actually try it out, embody it, feel it. For example, you can think about the Grand Canyon, but until you’ve seen it with your own eyes you don’t really know what it is — and even then you only know a bit. Real knowledge often requires real experience.

This process is inherently transgressive, of course, since you’re ignoring gender boundaries just by considering all possible things, let alone involving yourself in them. You’ll need to be ready to break social mores — ideally in a safe place with supportive people around you.

As you collect things you like and reject those you don’t, take a look at what you’ve got. If you had to re-sort your preferences, which bowl would they go in? For me it turns out most of them were feminine. It takes some radical honesty to recognize that, at least it did for me. You can collect and collect, but at some point you have to step back and see the pattern. That big recognition was the moment for me.

My process isn’t typical and I speak only for myself. Some people know at a very young age, but for me it was a longer process — no doubt lengthened in part because it was not safe for me to be trans when I was younger. To protect myself I had to hide. Or perhaps I changed over time, I don’t know and don’t care much either way.

Overall, though, it is just that simple: after consideration and experimentation it seems embodying the feminine is my nature as well as my preference, and so it makes sense to understand myself as trans. The practical parts of that process were years-long in some cases and involved a lot of discomfort and disillusionment in the most literal sense, but overall that was the journey.
J. Rosenbaum
By: Beth Jochim
Tags: Gender Identity, Posthumanism, Artist, Artificial Intelligence, Directory Listing

AI Artists Directory

Credit: J. Rosenbaum

J. Rosenbaum is an artist working with 3D modelling, Augmented Reality and Machine Learning. Their work explores posthuman and postgender concepts using classical art combined with new media techniques and programming.

Website: https://www.jrosenbaum.com.au/

Twitter: @minxdragon

Instagram: @minxdragon

Art+AI Expertise

I have been an artist for 12 years and working in AI for 6 years. I started during my masters using style transfer and augmented reality together. I have since worked with torch, pytorch, and tensorflow in texture synthesis, photographic style transfer and GAN Image generation.

Work with AI

My most exciting project is my PhD exploring computer perceptions of gender by manipulating the data of GANs while they are training to impact the art created and the gender bias in the work.

I have won the Australia Post midsumma art prize and the Fiona Meyer art prize for my AI work, and exhibited solo and group exhibitions in Melbourne, Toronto and South Korea.

I am excited about my Set in Stone artwork which shows the initial results of my PhD experimentation. My hidden worlds works are popular for their abstract images resolving in augmented reality

Vision

I believe AI is providing fascinating research and creation material to augment the work of artists, it is the greatest advancement to art since the camera. I do not believe it will replace artists but will augment them and assist artists to discover more forms of expression.
Acceptance
Tags: Acceptance, Transitioning, Transgender, Gender Identity

Acceptance

Let’s start with what’s just on the horizon — I have my first meeting with a gender therapist scheduled for Monday, something I’ve dreaded and postponed for years. I’m excited, nervous, and a little bit scared — but it’s something I need, and have needed. This is just a place to get my thoughts in order and to document the process.

Why did it take so long?

I’m 31, a long ways away from the socially-debated puberty blockers — but I’ve always been a bit of a late bloomer. I’m sure my upbringing had a lot to do with it; the 90s and early 00s were a different time. [insert flawed nostalgia here.] Spending many formative years in a small conservative Ohio town certainly didn’t help, nor did the preconceptions of my family. We moved to my father’s hometown from Los Angeles when I was 9-ish and the first thing my grandparents did was cut off my long hair, because, of course, boys don’t have long hair. The environment in which I was raised caused repression as a defense mechanism.

I started cross-dressing in either late middle or early high school. I wonder if my mother had been in my life at that time if it would have began earlier, or not occurred at all — if I wouldn’t be writing this, trying to figure it out right now. No matter how we try and permute the past, we only have this moment; and hopefully a bright future. The early 00s were the wild-west days of the internet, and my introduction to transgenderism was though pre- Web 2.0 pornography. We didn’t learn about it in school, and certainly it wasn’t discussed in a bible belt town of 10k people.

Sometime in High School I found Chuck Palahniuk and Invisible Monsters. Now transitioning was correlated with escapism, but the idea became just a little bit clearer. When I turned 18 the idea of re-imaging the self, a la IM, was such an important concept I got the cover art inked into flesh.

Fast forward 6 years. I’m going to massage school and have been voraciously devouring information about gender non-conformity and transition. I had never stopped dressing in private, but the idea of sharing that side with the public was so buried — I felt shame at the idea. Eventually I began to study phytoestrogens and herbal anti-androgens, and felt I had a chance to experience endocrine modifications without having to share my thoughts with a therapist. (Who, of course to my ingrained mid-western familial ideals, were all quacks.) After a month of use — my breasts were budding and nipples were leaking; I freaked out and stopped.

So for 6 years I’ve been cycling mild doses to eliminate dysphoria, and while they’ve worked in that regard — it’s a process, a journey; it’s time to take the next step.
My Alter is Trans
By: Ames Geliebter
Tags: Gender Identity, Dissociative Disorder, Transgender, Mental Health, Cisgender

I was recently diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder. It led me to two realizations: I have three distinct alters (personalities) and probably more, and two of my three personalities are trans.

First, we have my core self — Amy. She is a cis woman who is a lesbian. Then we have Ames, a non-binary bisexual. And then finally, we have Elliot, a trans, gay man. Discovering my core self wasn’t easy. How do you figure out which personality is your real personality? But I was able to do that work through therapy and journaling about my experiences. Amy is who I feel the most comfortable as, despite running from her for such a long time.

It’s left an odd void in my life, however. I was just starting to make a group of friends in the trans community as a trans man, only to find out I’m cis at my core. I feel like I have to start all over again, this time making friends in the lesbian community. That’s not to say I won’t still remain friends with my trans friends — I will. I just don’t feel like I can relate to them in the same way I used to. I feel like a poser.

I made a YouTube video about my diagnosis, and I pondered whether I was still trans. Comments ran the gambit, from “If you feel the most you when it’s just you, that probably means you’re cis, and the other two are Trans, which from what I’ve seen isn’t that much of a stretch when it comes to alters.” To “My two cents as a trans man, I think it would be perfectly valid to class yourself as genderfluid, your experiences as your alters are real and valid, including your experiences with gender.”

So, where does that leave me? Unsure of my gender identity, for one. But I’m looking at it like this: I identify as a lesbian when I’m Amy; therefore, I’m a lesbian. Even though one of my alters is bisexual and the other is a gay man, I still look at myself as a lesbian because Amy is a lesbian. Following that logic, if Amy is cis, then I am cis. Not non-binary or trans like my alters. Therefore, not genderfluid.

I guess this is my farewell to the transgender community. I love you with all my heart, and you were always there for me when I needed you. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back as Elliot sometime soon — but for right now, I’m my core self. A cis lesbian.

Dissociative Identity Disorder has robbed me of so much, but the sense of solidarity and love that the trans community gave me was definitely the hardest to lose. The trans community is honestly the backbone of society, and shit wouldn’t get done without you. I will continue to be an active ally to all my ex-brothers and sisters.