Your Plan to Take Back Control from Anxiety
By: Rob Eggers
Tags: Life, Anxiety, Planning, Self Improvement, Personal Development

Your Plan to Take Back Control from Anxiety

Someone gave me some great advice recently on how to organise myself better to reduce my anxiety levels.

I was feeling overwhelmed at work and was drowning in my thoughts. I was putting in extra hours hoping that more activity would make the difference, I was hoping to feel calmer more relaxed. Who was I kidding? No surprise in hindsight, but it didn’t help, if anything it made me feel worse. I was spending more time immersed in what was stressing me and less time on leisure and family activities that usually make me feel better.

I was very busy trying to get on top of a gigantic mound of work but there was no end to the work coming my way. I would jump from one piece to the other desperately trying to make ground on everything and worrying that I wasn’t making enough progress.

I felt stuck, I was panicking that I was not doing enough but yet also demoralised and not engaging with the work. It got to the point that I could not concentrate, and I was constantly tense and stressed. In short, I was miserable. I needed to take control not just of my work by also the way I was thinking about it.

My friend suggested that I needed a personal plan to take back control. It’s a very empowering idea. This is what I did:

1. Recognise when you are stressed, worrying or overthinking.

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It starts with you taking a moment to check if you are physically feeling stress in your body. This is often the first sign we are aware of. Take some time and ask yourself if you are experiencing any of these common physical symptoms: muscles tension, headaches, increased heart rate, breathlessness, pressure or pain in the chest area, hyperventilation, nervousness, nausea, vomiting, numbness in hands, feet and tongue, maybe even panic attacks.

Maybe it’s more mental than physical. If so also watch out for the following: nagging worry, not being able to switch off from work, resistance, agitation, frustration, obsessing, lack of concentration, racing or even catastrophic thoughts.

We all process life’s stresses differently and it’s important to remember that your reaction to your life experience has a great effect on the stress you feel.

2. What is it that is worrying you?

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So if you have detected the effects of stress you need to get clear on what it is you are fearful of. Not in general, but spend some time zooming in on each item you are working on. Stop and ask yourself, what am I worrying about? Maybe it’s that you don’t know how to move something forward or you don’t think you can meet the deadline or you feel you need more help with something but don’t want to admit it. Get clear on where the worrying is coming from.

What am I worrying about?

3. Ask yourself the question is this something I can do something about?

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Take each of those worries and ask yourself the question, is this something I can do something about?

If it is something you can influence or change, then make a plan to address it and be very proactive about making the changes. Identify the next steps, the timing of them and who is needed to help get it done and most importantly, take action. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that planning alone will help you out of your anxiety. It will make you feel better in the short term but action is what is required. There is no better feeling than getting out ahead of my worries and taking action to address them. Ask for as much help as you need from others. If you explain your motivations then in my experience others will be more than willing to help get you on track.

There is no better feeling than getting out ahead of my worries and taking action to address them.

However, if you realise that this is needless worrying or something you cannot influence, then ask yourself why you choose to continue to worry about something that you cannot change or have no control over. It is important to acknowledge the consequences of this worrying. Recognise that this worry is making your life difficult and exacerbating your fear; that it is causing you distress and physical symptoms. Stopping the worry around things you cannot change is easier said than done, I know, but here are a few tips that might help with this:

Acknowledge the consequences of this worrying

4. Distraction.

Replacing these fearful, negative, unhelpful thoughts with something more positive is a great start in moving away from unnecessary worries. Find yourself an alternative focus and put your energy into something worthwhile, productive and enjoyable.

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Design your distraction to fit with how you are feeling. Ask yourself, if you are feeling energetic or tired and pick something to match. If you are feeling like you have the energy then this might mean going for a workout, clearing out that cupboard, doing some housework or going for a pleasant walk.

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However, if your body and mind need some rest, then choosing something that demands no physical activity is a better option. If you’re feeling less energised then maybe choose to tune into a good book, boxset or movie. But be careful to choose something that will allow you to escape, something that fits with your mood and that interests you.

If you are at work, then try and focus on one particular task and only that one task. Once it has been completed move on to the next task. Try to avoid thoughts around what you need to do next. Focus, as best as you can, on one thing only.

Find yourself an alternative focus and put your energy into something worthwhile, productive and enjoyable.

5. SLOW DOWN

I don’t know about you, but when I’m feeling anxious I tend to try and do things at a fast pace and that rushed feeling makes me feel even more anxious. So, consciously remind yourself to SLOW DOWN.

Also, there is a tendency for the thoughts to be focused on what’s next or that there are too many things to do which can add to the feeling of overwhelm. To counteract this, try and remember to be mindful of what you are doing now, be absorbed, focused and organise yourself to concentrate on one task at a time.

Consciously remind yourself to SLOW DOWN and focus.

Retraining your brain

This is a process of retraining your brain and it will take time, patience and hard work. The more time you can focus your energy on following your plan, tackling the things you can do something about and less on those you can’t, the better.

Remember that you are unique and how you process psychologically will also be unique. Be kind to yourself and realise that it is ok to go at your own pace. When you do manage to achieve any change in how you feel, no matter how small, this is where you start to feel empowered and motivated to continue.

If you are struggling with taking control back from anxiety then I would suggest teaming up with a counsellor to help. They are trained to listen and give advice. You may even have access to one as part of your employer’s employee assistance program.