How Do We Change the Narrative That Feminists Hate Men?
By: Kyra Krishna
Tags: Women, Culture, Feminism, Diversity, Equality

How Do We Change the Narrative That Feminists Hate Men?

Feminism is about equality and equity for all genders.

Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

I’m a feminist.

No, I don’t hate men.

No, I don’t think all men are evil.

No, I don’t think women are better than men.

Yes, I want equality for all genders.

Yes, I am a feminist.

I’m a feminist. I love being a feminist. Hell, I think everyone should be a feminist. Unfortunately, feminism has gained a pretty bad reputation in the media.

In the 1990s, television evangelist Pat Robertson infamously said:

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson

Sorry to burst your bubble, Pat Robertson, but feminism is not equivalent to man-hating. Feminism is simply the belief and desire that all genders are treated equally. If you’re the kind who trusts a dictionary definition more, here you go:

Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

To begin with, let’s dissect this misunderstanding. Why exactly do people think feminists hate men?

And next, we can tackle: How do we change this narrative?

1. A few individual feminists hate men

“Radical feminists” have long been a part of our culture, and unfortunately, have dominated the media. You are more likely to hear about Valerie Solanas, the woman who shot Andy Warhol, than any other feminist.

Valerie Solanas. Image courtesy of Biography.com

Similar to the word, misogyny (hatred of women), the hatred of men has a word: Misandry. Valeria Solanas is most infamous for her extreme misandry in her book, Scum Manifesto.

Written and published in 1968, the manuscript laid out the mission of her organisation: Society for Cutting Up Men. This gained much attention from the media, creating a negative view of feminists in the eyes of the larger public. Individual feminists like her might hate men, but that doesn’t speak for all feminists.

At the core of feminism itself is this goal: equality for all genders. Not just women.

2. Some feminists don’t and/or are not willing to address men’s issues

As much as it hurts me to admit, it’s true. There are a lot of gender-based issues that men face––one of them is boys increased likelihood of being involved in violence. Research has shown that boys are 11 times more likely to be engaged in violence in a difficult situation compared to four times among girls.

“Gender straightjackets”(the stereotype that that boys are aggressors and girls are weak) are harmful to both boys and girls.” — The Global Early Adolescent Study

If gender inequality affects both genders, then you might wonder why some feminists are not willing to address them. What about men? And what about trans* people? (The asterisk means it is an umbrella term for many queer identities). Here’s why: women have been on the victim’s side of gender inequality throughout history. The women’s suffragette movement is still fresh in our history. Feminists are worried that focusing on men’s issues in gender inequality will shift the focus back to men and away from women, missing the whole point of the movement.

However, this doesn’t mean feminists don’t support men's issues. Feminism often calls out all kinds of gender-based issues. Many feminists are pro-inclusive. Feminism fights patriarchal beliefs that men cannot or should not express emotion, or else be labeled “weak.” Feminists are also strong supporters of the LGBTQ+ community and stand for the Black Lives Matter movement.

We want everyone to be heard, regardless of their gender, sexuality, race, etc.

Instagram post by @feminist. Image courtesy of author.

3. Men are frightened by the movement

First, it’s important to note that all men are not frightened by men. But the harsh truth is that a few are. For one, they fear equality because it means giving up the advantage and power they currently hold over women. Apparently “real men” aren’t feminists.

Following the previous points, feminism stands for all genders, so men have no reason to feat the movement. This is worth repeating because it’s so incredibly important.

Image courtesy of Vocal.

4. It’s been such an innate part of history

We are so used to the gender imbalance that it seems like it has always been this way.

It hasn’t.

Male dominance isn’t the natural state of society. As agriculture became widespread around 12,000 years ago, a power shift occurred: males became a symbol of strength, and property was passed down the male line. As a result, the majority of cultures adopted a patriarchal system.

Male dominance isn’t the natural state of society.

Since then, unconscious biases have been shaped to put men on a pedestal. Now, the mere thought of a world where men and women are treated equally is considered utopian. But it should be considered normal! While changes in law offer a step in the right direction, real changes will only be made when society changes the way it thinks.