I Know Everything About You, and I Still Love You
By: Ryan Fan
Tags: Spirituality, Television, Ideas, Relationships, Religion

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matthew 10:16, ESV)

The title quote is by Anna Draper in “Mad Men”, who consoles and expresses her love for Don Draper despite his many mistakes and people he had harmed during his time as a Madison Avenue ad man. He is womanizing, unfaithful to his wives, an unapologetic alcoholic, and an incredibly abusive and selfish boss.

But, he then goes to California to be greeted by the unconditional love of the only person in the world who ever knew him. Although I don’t agree with and am disgusted by Don Draper’s decisions, I really am not that much better in my mistakes and my sin.

Do I have an Anna Draper in my life? Do I have people who still love me even though they know my demons and all my fatal flaws?

Yes, I do. My mother is one of those people, but I also have many friends who love me unconditionally and who still see me as a good person no matter what my mistakes are.

To me, Anna Draper is the embodiment of Matthew 10:16, someone who forgave a man who wronged her

In the verse, Jesus commissions the Twelve Apostles to go forth in a dangerous mission because they will be among wolves. To survive, they have to be wise as serpents but to follow Christ, they have to be innocent as doves. To say that there were a lot of people hostile to Jesus’s mission is an understatement, but Jesus told his followers to be innocent as doves because following Christ’s love outweighs human pettiness any day of the week.

And Jesus calls us to follow him.

Most of life is learned not through preaching, but experience. How many people have been told that smoking is bad, but do it anyway? How many people have been told that drinking is bad, but do it anyway? I certainly know that I’m a person that has to learn more from experience than from any warnings or preaching, and I know that most human beings are the same.

For that, I think I am the luckiest person in the world. For what it’s worth, that love is usually reciprocal. If a friend is a good enough friend, their mistakes don’t matter to me. My loyalty and unconditional love is my biggest gift, but also my biggest curse.

I have friends who have been convicted of horrible crimes, and to protect their privacy I won’t reveal which ones, but they’re some of my best friends. I still love them and don’t judge them; and they still love me.

For the majority of people, their biggest critics are themselves

No one will judge them more than they judge themselves. We tend to be much more critical of our own flaws, and less critical of the flaws of others. And while that might not be healthy, think about the converse of being super critical of other people’s flaws but never critical of your own — that’s self-righteous sin at its finest.

I am a super flawed person. I am selfish. I don’t donate enough. I too frequently don’t give to the homeless. I have prejudice in my heart. I fail all the time at the morals I preach. I am not a good enough friend, son, brother, or boyfriend too much of the time.

That’s why I try to love others, no matter who they are, no matter what they’ve done. Mercy trumps justice any day of the week. And while I believe everyone should be held accountable and be given justice, that doesn’t mean that their mistakes make them undeserving of love.

How can anyone grow without knowing that they’re loved?

For what it’s worth, the person who knows everything I’ve done and still loves me is Jesus

I am as much a sinner as Paul or Peter were, and yet I constantly subconsciously elevate myself above others. But I don’t have the right. I believe that no matter who you are, no matter what mistakes you’ve made, Jesus still loves you. It’s not something you have to earn — it’s something you always have.

I think back to the people who still love me, even though they know everything about me. Those people have had to take substantial leaps of faith to love me despite knowing every flaw I’ve had.

I can only hope that the world rids itself of its self-righteousness and gives more grace. You can think someone is wrong, but why don’t you look inward to see how you are wrong and not up to par of the perfection standard too?

Despite my faith, I have never once gone up to another person and accused them of being a sinner. It’s simply not my place because I’m not God. You can say that something is a sin, but I have always felt like both Christians and non-Christians have a very immature view of sin. Self-righteousness is a sin. Gluttony is a sin. Greed is a sin.

I am the foremost of sinners and make many mistakes that people don’t know about. Just on my run today, I almost ran into someone and knocked into them. I’m not always kind to others, and can get angry and defensive when I feel like I am being attacked. I am too impatient. I can become too imposing about my political beliefs.

The world needs more mercy and grace, and less judgment. And so I endeavor to be more like Anna Draper, who is someone who can love everyone around them, no matter what they’ve done. I am proud that, to this day, I have never called someone else out for being a sinner when I sin so much; all the time.