The Opposite of Hate
By: Priyanka Pandey
Tags: Hindu, Bridging Divides, India, Empathy, Muslim

Do the majority and other communities in India stand to benefit from cultivating more empathy for Muslims? It makes common sense that having more empathy will reduce prejudice. There is also science to back it.

Indeed more and more Indians from the majority and minority communities have been coming out in support of Indian Muslims. On the other hand, more hate targeting Muslims has been stirred up in the social media and streets in the recent months and days resulting in tragic violence and deaths.

Image source BBC

In the middle of the hate being whipped up, violence and reports of inadequate police action for safety, several hopeful stories have emerged of Hindus saving Muslim neighbors, Sikhs protecting Muslims, Muslims saving Hindu neighbors and temples, and policemen going out of their jurisdiction to save lives from charging rioters and angry mobs. The courageous compassion of all of these individuals is inspiring. And it offers immediate lessons for what those of us in the majority and other communities can urgently do to counter hatred.

First, one can choose to not entertain the rhetoric that tells Indian Muslims they do not belong in India. This rhetoric promotes only hate. When India became independent, the Indian Muslims of today are the ones whose families chose to be in India when faced with a choice of going to Pakistan or staying in India. Some made this choice even at the cost of their families being divided between the two countries. India’s secular constitution promised individuals from all communities including Muslims equal respect and dignity. Indians from the non-Muslim communities have a choice to acknowledge and honor these facts if they do not already.

Second, one can choose to stop entertaining stories serving to fuel hate. Many in the majority or other non-Muslim communities can be heard telling stereotypical stories about fellow Indian Muslims. In these stories, the identity of being a Muslim has been made up. It is common to hear members of the majority say “Muslims are like this or that.” Such stories or views held of fellow Muslims are based on misperceptions or incorrect information. These stories told have consequences for the majority as well as minority communities. Stories that project a minority community to be what it is not reinforce the majority’s sense of superiority and minority stereotype. They literally sow seeds of further discord besides making the Muslim community feel less secure.

Third, one can choose to practice more empathy towards groups we don’t consider our own. What if the individuals in the majority or another community in India were to ask themselves if they have ever stopped to talk to a Muslim and listen, really listen, to what they have to say and how they feel? More broadly, what if we ask whether we have the ability to listen without interruption or judgement to someone we don’t consider a member of our group? This is where empathy comes in. If someone from a non-Muslim community is to be able to listen to a Muslim with empathy, it means he or she ought to be able to put himself or herself in their shoes. It is a universal human need to be heard and understood, particularly when one’s reality is misrepresented. And such misrepresentation tangibly results in furthering the conflict. Often we are unable to listen. When we do listen especially to someone we see as not belonging to our group, we often get ready to blame or defend instead of truly listen.

Cultivating greater empathy towards members of the Muslim community will help them feel heard and understood. Not only that, by reducing hate and therefore conflict, it will contribute to ensuring the well-being of all communities in India. We can, one person at a time, contribute towards securing India’s future by building tolerance and empathy. When Mahatma Gandhi spoke of being the change we wish to see in the world, perhaps he meant it literally at an individual level.

For the religious minded, the argument to build empathy should be easy. Practicing empathy is aligned with the core values, compassion and tolerance, of the two religions Hindu and Islam. A language of hatred and revenge is out of line with the values of either religion. As the prominent scholar of religion Karen Armstrong has pointed out, an essential value in every religion is to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated. We can ask what is possible if the unfortunate events are viewed as an opportunity for Indians to resolve to use the different religions to unite and not divide.

If anyone needs further convincing, evidence from scientific studies supports the argument to increase empathy. Increasing our empathy indeed decreases bias and prejudice towards “other” groups. The good news is research shows that if one is willing, empathy can be increased with practice just like any other skill.

Muslims in India today feel uncertain to say how they feel, in public and often even in private to their friends, for fear of the consequence they will face. The consequence is real for them; intimidation is a reaction they often face. Members of the majority community can choose to provide a place for fellow Muslims to be heard and understood; by listening with empathy, honoring and keeping their stories safe, and sharing them onward only with the willing consent of the individual whose story it is. This is a small yet powerful and crucial step towards increasing the safety and sense of belonging for Muslims in their own country as well as securing India’s future.