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Why should we choose and does it matter that we choose right?
By: Alifiya Tahir
Tags: Choices, Choosing, Free Will

Why should we choose and does it matter that we choose right?

Choices. Such an enigmatic concept to exist that we can and we must choose. But should you give thought to what you are choosing — more than required thinking — or should you choose in a split-second?

One can argue that how much thought should be given to choosing should depend upon the severity of the outcome of the choices and whether a person has the ability to reverse those choices. Or choose for a different outcome without losing time, in essence reversing back minutes, hours or years of his life.

But I believe that behind every kind of choosing our processes and principles are the same, our biases and tendencies are the same. We tend to imitate what we do once, throughout all our life decisions. A person, based on his genetic makeup and environmental tendencies is fine-tuned to select a certain way and that is the way he follows throughout life.

Given times when critical life-changing decisions must be made, and this person must step out of the monotonous second-nature choosing, it takes a lot of strength and brain power to overcome habit and break pattern. Perhaps this decision can land this person in the arms of his long-term love, perhaps it can land him his dream job. But can a person ever overcome the norm and break through? It happens all the time in movies and books. I don’t know if it happens in real life.
I once read a quote of my favorite book,
Tags: Future, Choices, Poetry, Life

I once read a quote of my favorite book,

That changed my perspective on life.

It said “We are the choices we make”.

At first I was hesitant to accept it,

“What about mistakes?”, I thought,

“Those surely cannot define us.”.

But then I remembered what followed after;

If we acknowledge and try to mend them,

Then we surely are the choices we make,

Because accidents are not chosen to be made,

Only how we respond to them.

Another thing I thought of was that,

If we don’t like where we stand,

We get to choose to do something about it,

Just as we did to get there.

We, once again, are the choices we make.

That’s why we were given free will,

To pave our own way,

And have nobody to blame but ourselves.

So as we keep learning and growing,

Our choices change,

And so do we.

That’s how I know we can become better people.

But it needs a little thought, however.

In order to change we cannot keep doing the same things.

We need to identify what we want to be gone and what new habits to practice,

The person we were and the one we’re trying to become.

Every choice has a significant impact on our lives,

Whether we see it in a few years or we see it now.

Just know your future’s at stake,

For we are indeed, the choices we make.
Point of View
By: Andjela Djuric
Tags: Poetry, Egoism, Love, Choices, Relationships

When I imagine you

In the world

Free from the imposed —

Lifestyles, images, goals;

Free from have tos, musts, being supposed tos —

Free from the material,

The artificial, comfort zones, the official —

When I imagine you

In the world like that

You are the spitting image

Of what I’ve always wanted.

You are the echo of the lyrics

Of numerous songs I’ve heard,

The lines of the poems I’ve read

That imprinted in my blood, my underskin

The sensation of what I want to feel

Being held by a man.

You’re making the words,

Rhythms and beats

Come alive.

I’m in a song —

You’re the music

And I — the words.

In the world like that

I can love you instantly

Head over heels,

Love at first sight

Losing my mind —

That kind of stuff.

We are a notable couple,

Envy-provoking, all eyes on us.

You are melting when you watch me

And I glow from inside.

That is one way to put it,

One angle to look from.

Another one being

The one that puts the light on

Your self-centeredness

Excessive use of drugs

Excessive lack of plans

And of willingness to commit.

Being selfish to every bit,

Raising your voice unnecessarily

To prove your point

No one has asked for.

I’m not going to be

Your rehab therapist

Your mother

Or your savior.

I don’t need another case,

project or a patient —

I don’t need to prove

To myself

Or anyone

That I can change a man.

I don’t need to prove it —

Because

I can’t.

I can let it go

Before you choose to let go —

Walk away as leisurely as you came,

Hurting me as easily

As you sparked the flame.

Or I can stay.

Cautiously.

Make you fall for me.

I know you care

You just can’t get over you.

And surely I care too.

From a certain point of view.
The Fork in The Road
By: Steve Blampied
Tags: Choices, Mindset Coaching, Mindset

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine that your life is like a path or road.

Imagine you’re standing on that road with your past reaching out in one direction and your future in another.

Notice where your past seems to be,

Maybe it’s behind you,

Or maybe off to the left.

Or maybe it’s just left behind.

Then notice where your future lies.

Maybe it’s to the right,

Or maybe it’s right in front of you.

Now, look around and realise that you’re actually standing at a fork in that road.

There are two paths, one going in the same direction as you’re already going,

And one that that leads off to all your hopes, dreams, and aspirations.

Imagine that today you took the new path,

That you made the decision to reach for everything you want

That today you finally threw away all the old things that were holding you back

All the old stories and excuses

… And then fast forward 5 years into the future in that new direction

What’s your life like 5 years down that path?

Really clearly imagine it,

See the sights, hear the sounds, smell the smells, really feel what it’s like to have made the change.

Now imagine 10 years have passed since you made the decision

Clearly imagine what that’s like?

Now 15 years.

15 years of living as the best version of you.

How incredible is it?

.

.

.

Now come back to the fork in the road.

And take the path that leads where you’re already going

Imagine you change nothing, that you keep plodding along making the same decisions

That you let the negative voices in your head run the show.

What’s that like in 5 years?

Again clearly imagine it, just like you did for the other path,

… even if you really don’t want to think about it.

Maybe nothing’s changed

Or maybe all the negative stuff has won because you didn’t fight it.

Now 10 years

How bad is it?

How boring?

Now 15 years

How bad will it get if you don’t do something about it?

How do you feel after 15 years going down this path?

.

.

.

Now come back to now, to the fork in the road.

And realise that every day you choose which path you’re on.

Every moment is a fork in the road, where you choose which path you’re on.

One path takes you towards a shining future

The other takes you to more of what you have.

-

Now I don’t know which path you’re going to take.

Maybe the right path is the correct one

Or maybe the left is right.

But either way, you’re choosing one

So make it a good one.

-

…Now, here’s some homework

Grab a pen.

And draw a little fork in the road on the back of your hand, between your thumb and forefinger

And every time you look at that fork, ask your self which path you’re on right now.
I was, I am.
By: Wolo, Deepika Raghavan
Tags: Judgement, We Only Live Once, Choices, Compassion, Life

I didn’t choose to be born. I was.

I didn’t choose…

To be born in a country ravaged by terrorism and blood shed. Or a country with rampaging drug cartels. I couldn’t choose peace loving nations with beautiful landscapes to call home, or a country with a functioning government.

I didn’t choose…

To be brown skinned or white or black or any shade in between. To have round eyes or narrow, curly hair or straight.

I didn’t choose…

To be born a Muslim or Hindu. Brahmin or Vaishya, Sunni or Shia. To speak a well known global language or an obscure dialect spoken by a few.

I didn’t choose…

To be born to parents who had to worry about the next meal. Or to parents, who had enough money to show me the world when I was 1.

I didn’t choose…

To be born a healthy baby or to be differently abled.

And yet…

I am judged everyday for things I did not choose. There are conversations everyday about stereotyped illusions that humans have created. Imagine how boring the world would be if all of us looked the same, spoke the same, dressed the same and thought the same?

We do not get to choose many things we are born with, but we get to choose how we want to live. Live with intention and spread joy. Live with compassion and spread peace. Live with kindness and spread smiles!

After all, We Only Live Once!
4 powerful questions to discover your best selves
By: Yoga Nesadurai
Tags: Leadership, Self Improvement, Choices

4 powerful questions to discover your best selves

Junior Ferreira from Unsplash

I am constantly looking for new ways to enhance my self-awareness and help others become more self-aware. I found these 4 questions recently, embedded within a McKinsey article, which caught my attention.

These questions were part of the onboarding study of newcomers to organisations by Daniel Cable et al of Stanford. The questions were asked to encourage new hires to bring their best selves to work. Research showed that new hires who brought their authentic selves to work were more engaged, satisfied, energised, and performed better, were less likely to leave their jobs.

I have edited the questions slightly as I feel they are relevant both in work and life. Simple yet powerful questions:

1. What 3 words best describe you as an individual? 2. What leads you to your happiest times and best performance at work and outside work? 3. Reflect on various times when you were acting the way you were born to act. 4. How can you repeat the behaviour in a new role or your current job or daily life?

Daniel Cable’s work is based on research done by Stanford’s Hazel Rose Markus about exploring our range of ‘best selves’. Her findings state that when people explore a wider range of their ‘possible selves’, they develop more self-awareness, a wider range of abilities, and deeper understanding of how and when to draw on their best selves (and stifle their worst selves).

I like the concept of the ‘possible selves’. After all we are multi-faceted beings with many abilities dealing with various circumstances along our journey. We carry with us many versions of ourselves and we choose which version is appropriate for a particular circumstance. All these versions are authentic parts of us.

However, some of these versions may have been let go over time because we think they are no longer appropriate. Or that the love and compassion with which we interact with family or pets is not proper when interacting with team members at work.

These are limiting beliefs we place upon ourselves. What if we lifted these limiting beliefs? Wouldn’t we see a wider range of ‘possible selves’, a wider range of abilities and thereby a wider range of best selves to draw upon?

David Pullan refers to the ‘possible selves’ as the Passengers on the Authenticity Bus, in his article. It’s a fantastic read. He concludes by challenging the reader to resurrect those parts of themselves that they may have let go along the way, to have a wider range of authentic selves for future circumstances.

Back to the 4 questions. I find them a powerful way for anyone who wants to become more self-aware or to at least use them as a chance to pause and reflect. You just might discover some hidden gems.
Closed Doors
By: Lisa K.
Tags: Doors, Writing Prompt, Decisions, Choices, Pathways

Closed Doors _ 7.17.20

Doors resemble new pathways.

As soon as you walk into a door, everything changes. Any door, as long as you walk past it, it means something.

Photo by Filip Kominik on Unsplash

If a door is closed to you, it’s probably because nobody has invited you in or gave you permission to enter their space.

If that’s the case, wait for the invitation (especially if it’s someone else’s house!!) but if it’s a door you want to walk through mentally, emotionally, or spiritually, then, choose to do so.

Before you walk in, envision what the door resembles. Once you walk past it, think about what it will mean for you when you give yourself permission to walk in. What does it mean crossing that boundary, that first step?

It could mean a new pathway has opened up for you…

It could mean new beginnings…

It could mean many things. Anything.

Doors used to creep me out. Maybe when I was younger, I watched too many eerie movies that always had monsters behind its doors.

It was scary. Especially when I didn’t know what could be behind those doors! I would think about the worst possible thing — maybe a creeper, a serial killer, or whatever, just waiting to get me as soon as I step inside. But that’s a shitty way to look at it.

On the other hand, doors can represent a new way forward.

A new kind of thinking.

A new kind of feeling.

An alternate possibility.

Maybe all the possibilities.

What if we could just look at a door and perceive it to be just another entryway into maybe, just maybe, the best possible path for your life?

What if?

Choose the door you feel most called for you. You’ll know which one it is when the feeling isn’t based on fear, but based on excitement, thrill, and joy.

Choose it. And walk on forward.
HELP YOUR CHILD COPE WITH END OF SCHOOL ANXIETY
Tags: Childcare, Parents, Schools, Education

When children hear about school or even picture themselves of going to school that’s the last thing they want in their life. While many kids can’t wait for the last day of school, it’s also common for kids to feel anxious about that end. At ‘’Vidyarpan’’- The Digital Preschool in India kids are taken into confidence and made feel safe with their life and feel sad and emotionally attached to their school when they leave but never anxious. ‘’Vidyarpan’’- The Digital Preschool in India is a preschool in Faridabad sector 37 and offers attractive low investment preschool franchise options for the potential business partners.

Children feel secure with their teachers, friends, and routines of the school year and feel attached to it which can also be because of the studious nature of some kids. So, as the year end approaches, they don’t know what to expect. Preschool plays a very important role in bringing the kids into confidence and preparing them for future challenges and they feel prepared for them and not anxious for leaving the school. Here are some of the best preschool in India. Here are some of the ways to help your young ones to cope with such anxiety.

Preparing- Preparation is really important before doing anything life, and when it comes to kids, they need a little extra effort in that field. Parents should prepare their kids at least two to three months before school ends to prepare them by talking about what is next, about primary school, about new activities and bigger schools and corridors.

Some anxiety- Anxiety can be sometimes be helpful for everyone as well as kids but it becomes bad when it starts to interfere with a child life and his/her other things and activities. That is where parents should prepare them and bring them into confidence.

Distraction- Distraction coping skills are any kind of activity that the child can engage in that takes their mind off their anxiety and leaves them feeling better that they felt before starting the activity. Typical activities that work in this stage are: reading, writing, drawing, listening to music, watching funny tv, playing video games.

Socializing- Help you socialize at least 3–4 people that they can seek out and talk to. Encourage them to just be with these people and practice not thinking about the past or the future, but to just have fun in the moment. Tell your child it’s ok to laugh and be silly or goofy with these people even if they don’t feel like it, because more than likely, they’ll start to feel better after being around other people.
Best medicine reminder app for seniors
By: Galarm - Alarms, Reminders App
Tags: Seniors, Medication Adherence, Pill Reminder App, Medication, Parents

How do I make sure my parents remember to take their medication on time? How can I help my elderly parents with their healthcare regime living miles away? These are the questions that can keep you up at night. With increasing age, the health issues of our parents and the number of medications prescribed by their doctors also increase. Research shows that about 25% seniors take between 10–19 pills every day and more than half of seniors take at least 5 different prescriptions. Watching your parents go off their medications is disturbing and therefore we look for ways to support them to ensure that they are managing their prescriptions successfully. Galarm, a reminder app, brings you a bag full of solutions to all your problems.

Benefits of using Galarm for pill reminder

Send reminders to your parent’s phone:

Eliminate the stress by using Galarm to send reminders to your parent’s phone with a single tap. If you are busy with work, school or young kids of your own but also want to help your parents manage their medications, then Galarm can help you make it happen without it feeling like an uphill battle.

2. Get notified incase your parent misses a dose:

There is constant fear of parent missing the reminder and not taking medication timely. To keep your stress levels down, Galarm notifies you after 5 minutes incase the parent doesn’t acknowledge the reminder so that you can contact them right away. Our mission for Galarm is to make it very difficult to miss a medication.

3. Keep track of medications:

It is exhausting to keep track of medications. Galarm not only reminds your parent to take their meds but also, at the end of the day/week/month, allow them to check if/when they missed a dose.

Galarm — A virtual caretaker

Life is easier with Galarm. It reminds you and your parents in a timely manner to keep everyone stress-free. No more forgetting medications. Simply set an alarm in Galarm.
Why Did I Pick My Parents?
By: Stephanie Harmon
Tags: Parents

The Jewish mysticism of Kabbalah teaches us that we pick our parents before we were ever born.

Our spirits knew before sliding into our mamas’ wombs, what kind of parents we would get and what their issues were.

Whether they were fucked up, abusive, nice, or not so available parents, we said okay and jumped into our future of happiness or heart ache with two feet and maybe screaming, “yee-haw” all the way down the birth canal.

The trouble is we don’t remember any of this. When we were born we “magically” forgot about this arrangement…as a matter of fact I don’t have the foggiest of notions about any of this. I came into the world wide eyed and innocent not knowing what lay ahead.

I can’t imagine why I would agree to my parents. My father was a hard ass who spent 20 years in the military. It was either his way or the end of a belt.

My mom was a housewife and who looked the other way when she should have paid more attention to things. In other words, she allowed my father to do whatever he wanted.

I must have had a masochistic spirit or maybe a GI Joe spirit…overly eager, bit off a lot and then discovered it was a little more than a notion to deal with those two.

My parents came into their marriage with their own misery. My mother was raised in a chaotic household with an alcoholic, at times abusive father and a God fearing mother. Even that combination sounds mildly ironic.

My father was raised in a home where all of his nine of his siblings did not live together in the same home. No, they weren’t half siblings. They were a party of ten in a very small shot gun house with one bedroom.

What’s even crazier is we chose our parents to deal with an issue or a “correction” we needed to work on from a prior life! I, on the other hand, think I must have been convicted of a heinous crime.

Personally, I would have chosen Mike and Carol Brady or Ward and June Cleaver. If you don’t know who they are Google classic TV show parents. They provided love and correction in 30 minutes without the kid growing up ashamed and insecure.

The bottom line from all of this Kabbalah stuff is our parents conceive us, raise us (however horrible it was), then we “correct” from it.

To me that’s like screwing up a cake by putting way too much salt in the batter and forcing someone to eat it anyway. In the end, we are told to tell the baker the cake was wonderful.

This is equivalent to saying, “Thank you sir I’ll have another!” That is an often shouted phrase when a pledge was at the wrong end of a paddle during a college fraternity stunt!

Well I call bull on the whole notion and to the Kabbalah rabbi. By the way sir, the cake was salty!
Cornerstones of a Healthy Parent-Child Relationship Told by “Schitt’s Creek”
By: Anna Flynn
Tags: TV Series, TV Shows, Love, Parents, February Contest

Cornerstones of a Healthy Parent-Child Relationship Told by “Schitt’s Creek”

INCLUDES SPOILERS

Dan Levy’s Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek has taken the world by storm. Audiences fell in love with the Rose family as they watched the family fall from their multi-million dollar pedestal to a rural motel. Though the Rose family began as four very different, distant entities, by the end of the show they became an imperfect, but incredibly loving, family.

This transformation was particularly remarkable in regards to the parent-child relationship. Alexis and David– the children– managed to connect with each other despite their contrary personalities. Johnny and Moira– their parents– never connected with their children; they maintained an unhealthy distance from them as a result of their demanding careers and the luxuries of extreme wealth, such as nannies and boarding schools.

With these obstacles torn away from them, Johnny and Moira were forced to spend time with their children. From the ashes of their poverty, Johnny and Moira emerged with sustainable, healthy relationships with Alexis and David. Though not always easy, each individual parent-child relationship thrived on different cornerstones of a healthy relationship:
The Phrase “I love you” is Overrated and My Parents Know it
By: Bryan Wurtz
Tags: Mutual Love, Life Lessons, Parents

How many times had somebody said “I love you” to you? Do you ever think about how much they genuinely love you? Or it is just words without actions. “Actions speak louder than words,” there are people who silently care for every minute of your life and only wish you the best thing, but they hardly ever say “I love you,” because they believe it is not needed. They are your parents.

Because my parents want me to exceed…

From the moment you are welcomed to this life until the day you turn into an adult, your parents had always been there for you, nourishing you and teaching you the way of living.

When you were an innocent kid, they were up until late, changing your diapers, feeding you, and making sure you are the happiest kid. Those days when you woke them up at 4 in the morning, they never complained about it. Were they tired? Yes, they probably were, but they were delighted at the same time because you are the responsibility they were willing to uphold. Your parent introduced you into this world, that was the best gift you could ever have already.

I remember back in the days when I was a middle-schooler, my mom would stay up till 1 in the morning to make sure my school uniforms were straight and unwrinkled. For me to do my best at school, my mom would then wake up early to prepare breakfast. It was like it every day. I did not appreciate my mom’s love back then, because of course, every young boy was all for himself, but also because my mom would never talk to me about how hard she took care of me, or that she would deserve any credit for it. Now that I think back about those memories, I realize that she did not show affection because it was her obligation, she did it out of love, and she knew for sure words are not going to make me a better person, but her actions could.

Do you ever say to your parents that you love them? Do you put into the effort to show your love to them, or do you only say you love them considering you realize how much they tend to you? “Actions speak louder than words,” please take care of your parents just like how they treated you, and please start right now.

You have not called your parents for a while, now would be the best time to tell your mama about that girl you have been falling head over heels for. She might give you some dating advice too, so a stone for two birds. Who would not want to take this win?
Dying of Laughter
By: Julee Balko
Tags: Laughter, Hospice, Death, Love, Parents

Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

As I was chasing a mouse around my dad’s house with a bedpan, I realized I was not the typical hospice nurse and this was not going to be the typical hospice experience. We had laughed too hard for him to be dying. And yes, I got the mouse safely outside. And yes, I managed to grab the clean bedpan, I think.

When my dad decided after four months of battling after his bone marrow transplant that he wanted to stop treatment and come home, I wasn’t sure what to expect. As a writer, I’ve written about hospice before. But that had been for a website for a healthcare client, now I was on this side and I was way beyond the bullet points of “care when you need it most.”

Coronavirus had taken away months of me being able to visit my dad in the hospital. There were times I couldn’t reach him, he was too sick to pick up his phone, and thankfully a nurse held her own phone so he could hear my voice. So, there was no way, I wasn’t going to embrace my last few days with him.

My sister and I were going to stay with him, night and day and make the most of the time we lost. Right away we nicked named ourselves “JK Nursing.” I was the jokes, she was the care with a k. The learning curve was sharp. The first night it took us about an hour to change his sheets and bed pad. My sister going through glove after glove as diarrhea became our enemy. And as the night wore on, my tiredness turning to giggling then laughing my ass off at my sister, because I had decided she was in charge of poop, I was in charge of sheets and helping my dad move. And this made my dad laugh. And that’s when we decided there would be laughter.

My dad loves jazz, so we’d crank it up while we were wiping him down. Quickly we divvied up the tasks. I was in charge of medicine. And the first time I went to place his pill on his tongue it slipped and hit his shoulder. It looked like his mouth was a circus game and I clearly didn’t win a stuffed animal. So then every time it was medicine time, my dad or sister would hum a carnival tune.

Everyone talks of last meals. Well, my dad hadn’t eaten in four months. His nutrition had all been IV. So, when he had a few requests we made it happen. We had a mango water ice party at midnight. We bought him coffee ice cream — and while I was doing laundry, I came back to put the lid on and he had eaten the whole damn thing. Yes, it’s a good thing we had brought so many gloves and bed pads home from the hospital. Last night he drank a Frappuccino while laughing and watching curb your enthusiasm — his favorite comedy. And as we’re all laughing, I’m thinking is it ok to be having so much fun as my dad is dying. Are we doing something wrong or right? The world and news are so dark right now. And yet within these walls, there is light. So much light. I don’t know how many days, he has left. But I do know, there will be love and laughter until the very end.
Counseling for Parents in Washtenaw County
By: Ann Arbor Counseling Associates
Tags: Mental Health, Adults, Parents

Are you feeling lost, drained, and overwhelmed by your toddlers behavior? Have you tried everything to get your kid to listen but their defiance has left you feeling hopeless?

Does your kid or teens disruptive behavior make it impossible to enjoy time together? You are not alone. Whether you are a new parent, are preparing for parenthood, or have a few years experience, parenting is tough. We offer parenting support counseling for all types of parents. Life can present obstacles that make parenthood even more difficult. You might feel like you don’t have enough support to succeed whether from a partner, extended family, or community. Your upbringing with your own parents may be one you don’t want to repeat but feel lost as to how to be the parent you hoped you would be. You want the best for your child but how do you implement a loving, accepting, and patient house when you are constantly feeling overwhelmed and unprepared? Counseling for parents can help provide relief!

Parents who work with an experienced counselor often feel a sense of understanding and relief. You will feel supported and be given practical strategies to start using right away. Many start to understand their child’s behavior better and feel empowered to correct undesirable behaviors. Our counselors can help you facilitate the type of relationship you hope to have with your child and bring peace and fun again back to your home.

Is your family going through a transition like a new baby, divorce or separation, or move?

Parenting support in our Ann Arbor offices can provide you with the tools you need to feel confident in navigating the new life situations you are experiencing. Is the stress of change wearing on you? Are you feeling unprepared and unsupported? Are you worried how your kids are going to take the news or handle the adjustments in their life? Counseling can help you and your partner get on same page, come up with a plan to move forward more smoothly, identify support systems, and develop coping tools to get through the stress. Our experienced counselors work with children, families, and parents through life and behavioral challenges. You can find the full range of support when you call us for an appointment.

Reasons why others have chosen counseling:

Feeling down, depressed, or hopeless

Having anxiety that is getting in the way of work, school, or social life

Difficulty managing substance use

Individuals wanting to improve significant relationships

Couples wanting to reconnect and reduce conflict

Coping with the thoughts and feelings associated with grief or loss

Managing the emotional stress of being a caregiver

Managing the complex feelings of having a chronic illness

Coping with the lingering effects that a trauma has had on your life

Managing life after a divorce

Coping with a change that has left an impact on your life

Having mood swings or behaviors that have interfered with success at work, school, or in significant relationships

Click here to schedule an appointment.
Parents in Islam
By: Sopna Akter
Tags: Muslim, Children, Parents, Islam, Hadith

Parents in Islam

Parents in Islam

Parents in Islam

In Islam Allah has given the status of parents very much. In Islam, it is not lawful for a “Parent” to suffer. If the child is worshiping God with integrity, he is in the service of his “Parent”, in service, and in good deed; But he will have great success in this world and in the Hereafter. And if the “Parent” is dissatisfied with the “Parents” or acts of the child, then hell is for him. Allaah has instructed “Parents” to treat their “Parents” well.

A man asked Rasul Arabi, what is the rights of the “Parents” over the child? In reply the worldly prophet said, “They are both your Paradise or Hell.” That is, those who will perform the proper duties to their parents are the successful ones. And woe to those who disobey.

There is more in the hadeeth — the gates of Paradise will be opened for anyone who obeys his parents for the sake of Allah; And whoever disobeys them, the two gates of hell will be opened. Upon hearing this, a man asked the worldly prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Will the punishment of Hell still remain in force? When the “Parents” oppress this person. Rasool Arabi replied that the provision of this punishment may still apply.

Parents in Islam
Parents in Islam, Rights of Parents in Islam
By: Paschim Chhatnai
Tags: Motherhood, Right, Fatherhood, Islam, Parents

Parents in Islam, Rights of Parents in Islam

Parents in Islam, Rights of Parents in Islam

Parents in Islam, Rights of Parents in Islam

Parents are a special blessing to Allah Ta’ala. Human parents come into the world through parents. The world cannot be imagined without parents. The two people in the world who are more affectionate and more affectionate and affectionate are the parents. They are near the shadow of the sick at our peril. They feed on the baby by sweating in the head without eating it. Dignity of parents after the worship of the Almighty Allah. What are we giving our parents the dignity of our giver?

Serving a parent is not a pity, it’s a parent’s right. Serving parents is the law of God, and good worship. The mother forbids sleep for the sake of the child’s safety. The mother has been awake all night for the baby after birth. During childhood, the mother remains in the bedside in the bed and puts her baby in a dry place or sleeps in the chest. No one takes notice of the fact that the mother was old age. Adorable boys and girls do not have time to look for their parents when they grow up.

However, the parents once sacrificed their happiness for the happiness of the child. In fact, what we are seeing in the society around us is very sad. Boys and girls are not established or tied to marriage, and parents do not search. The son-in-law does not look good on his parents. They think parents are a burden to them. They rent a house and leave their parents and live alone. And then the old parents became lonely. Spend the hardest days In our society, there are no examples of children being beaten, abused, or fed, and not searched for in the old age of parents.

Parents should always be treated as if they are not suffering just to the point. The kind of worship that God has for the child to be treated with them is the same as the law. After attaining the rights of Allah, the rights of the parents must first be realized for the servant.

However, it is not the responsibility of the child to remain in the parent world alone. Even after death, the duty has to be performed. According to the hadith, the duties that parents must perform after their death are to arrange for burial after their death, to pay the debt they owe to the world, to do so if they leave any will, to maintain kinship, and to be good to their friends. To use Greetings always for them. May Allah bestow upon us all the best we can to serve our parents. Amin.

Parents in Islam, Rights of Parents in Islam
Love Letters from WWII
By: Janie Emaus
Tags: Love Letters, Relationships Love Dating, Love, World War II, Parents

Wedding Album 1943 (photo provided by author)

How well do we really know our parents?

To most of us they are simply Mom and Dad.

Oh sure, we hear stories about their younger days. How they had to walk miles in the snow to get to school. Find a payphone in order to call home. How they had to wait until the nightly news to know what was going on in the world.

And of course, from a very young age, we’re eager to know how they met.

I’ve heard my parents’ story a million times.

It was a sunny afternoon on the beach in Santa Monica. My father asked my mother’s gorgeous friend if she wanted to go for a swim.

“In the ocean?” Her friend exclaimed, hiding behind an issue of Ladies Home Journal.

“I’ll go.” My mom jumped up.

As the waves crashed on the shore, my dad sighed. “Oh, all right.” He walked off with my mom, glancing back at the beauty on the beach.

But something magical happened while they swam. And he never looked back again.

Throughout the years I’ve seen my father’s sensitive side. Crying at family toasts, graduations, holiday pageants. Every Valentine’s Day he brought my mom a box of See’s Candy. Along with small heart-shaped ones for my sister and me.

I’ve seen my mom’s face light up when my dad would walk into the room with that candy as if she hadn’t been expecting it all along.

But I didn’t really know them as people.

Not until finding the box of three hundred or more letters written by my dad, as a young soldier, to my mom, his new bride. As I read through them, something truly magical happened again. That young couple who met on the beach came alive for me.

They are written on thin, crinkly paper. The kind you don’t see anymore. Every letter starts with a term of endearment: Dearest. Darling. Sweetheart.

Each one ends with, “Your loving husband. PS. XXXXXXX”

My dad’s compassion comes through in passages such as, “I received a letter from you today. Also, one from my mom. I got a good bawling out for not writing more often. I deserve it too.”

His practicality hits me in the gut when he writes, “I picked up my high pay $46.80 and took the rest of my dirty clothes to the cleaners.”

The optimism jumps off the page with these words. “V-J Day should come in a day or two. Please don’t drink too much. Wait till I get home and we do it right.”

Even as a young man he set goals. “You must be pretty busy too, with school and work. Don’t let it get you down. Someday, honey, you’ll be able to take it easier.”

True to his word, he gave my mom a great life, providing her with everything she ever needed.

Especially his love. “It was wonderful just hearing your voice again. You sounded so sweet and lovely. I miss you more than ever. You mean everything to me. If only we could be together again soon.”

Every night as I read these letters, I have the privilege of learning a little bit more about them.

And I can say for proof positive, my parents did have a life before I was born and it was a good one.
I’m Celebrating my Dad’s Birthday with Him for the First Time in Five Years
By: Keara Lou
Tags: Travel, Family, Love, Parents, Life

I’m Celebrating my Dad’s Birthday with Him for the First Time in Five Years

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

October 11th. It’s an important day around the world. For the LGBTQIA community, it’s a day to come out.

For me, it’s not about that at all. It’s about celebrating my dad’s birthday. This past Friday was the first time in about five years. While it wasn’t much, it made me realize how much I missed him when I was away.

The past five years

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, I’d spent the past five, six years in Beijing, China. Whenever I came home for vacation, it was summer. Michigan can get cold in the fall. One never knows when it’s going to snow. Beijing gets disgustingly hot in the summer, so July is the best time to be back in Michigan.

On his birthday month, I traveled. Ticket prices were lower after the October holiday, so I went somewhere all the time.

Every week in China, I made a point to make sure I called him on Skype to catch up on each other’s lives. We never stayed on the phone long. We aren’t the type of people to talk for long on the phone.

When I came home, I’d spend a day with him at the bar. We’d bag food and do any random chores around the bar that needed doing. Sometimes, I’d help him cook if he had a customer. For me, it was a lovely afternoon with my dad.

The time I realized he was proud.

In the fall of 2017, I went to Paris for a college friend’s wedding. I called my dad not long after buying the plane ticket and telling him about it. Out of nowhere, he starts laughing.

“Do you listen to yourself?” he asked, mid-laughter. “You talk about going to weddings in Paris and other stuff. How cool is that? How many people talk like that?”

I’d be surprised if he remembered that conversation. I know I will. My dad’s not the type to come out and say when he’s proud. It’s the subtle things he says and does that show me how proud he is.

On his birthday, 2019

My fiance, his kids, and I went to his house. I had a Home Depot gift card for him. We talked in his house for a while before we walked to the bar. We ate pizza, and we caught up. I occasionally helped my brother out when it looked like he needed it.

It wasn’t much, but it was the first time in a long time I spent time with my dad on his actual birthday.

We didn’t do much. We never do much when we’re hanging out with each other. I still missed it all the same. It’s always time with my dad.
What’s in a word?
By: Megha Anne
Tags: Careless Words, Pain, Silence, Night, Parents

A word can make you violent

A word can break the silence

A word can bring a smile

A word can induce a sigh

What is it about words, I always wondered

That made it or broke it ?

My mother spoke beautiful words mostly,

sometimes she was nasty and out came those hateful words frothing and festering with anger

like maggots on a rotting wound.

So did my father

I was uncertain about the words they would bestow upon me each day

So I searched for more crueler words

More kinder words

More expensive words

More colorful words

More musical words

To paint up my sky of sound and vocabulary

To lighten the impact of what their words caused me

To reduce the pain in my heart

I too frothed out dreadful words

Guiltier words.

Sometimes, as an experiment, I would

Say compassionate and artistic words

Couplets and poems adorned my walls

They did little to ease my painful silence.

The pain of being silent

Ah ! it is this that I hid,

behind all the words that came out

Pain and silence

The stillness of it

The rawness like a new wound, pink and painful

No words can describe pain or silence

Not even this poem that is in the process of its writing

Not even pain

Not even silence can explain the pain and the silence of the loss of words.

I must be silent now

For it is night

And in the night

The pain has a mind of its own.
OMG, Agnes!
By: Chris Thompson
Tags: Mothers, Relationships, Parents

OMG, Agnes! I’m so sorry you lost your mother so young! I’m 48, and I still have my mother, and I know how lucky I am. My mother is my best friend, and I still need her as much as I did when I was a child (though for different reasons, obviously). I know there are plenty of people worse off than you, who lose their mother when they’re only 5 or less, and can’t remember her at all, but 26 is still much too young to lose your Mum!

In this blog, you have hit the nail on the head! Even though I still have my Mum, I know what I will remember of her when she is gone. When your parents die (either of them), you don’t remember what they did for you or what they gave you, you remember what they taught you.

My mother taught me to be honest, to always put myself in other people’s shoes, to be caring, and compassionate and kind, and to be those things all the time, naturally, without having to think of them. That’s what I’ll remember about my Mum, after she’s gone.

And I’ll remember that she always loved me, and that she was the only person in the world who ever did that. While others only loved me for a little while, and then moved on, my mother’s love was always there.

I’ve known a lot of people who grew up without parents, or with very poor parents, and I know it takes a lot of love from at least one parent (if you’re lucky enough to have 2 parents, it should come from both of them) to make a person whole. In those people who didn’t get that love, I saw myself as I might have been, and I know how lucky I was that I did get that love from my mother. Because when you don’t get it, you don’t become whole, you become a hole… like a bucket with a hole in it, no-one can fill you with love because you don’t think you deserve it. By giving us their unconditional love, our parents teach us to love ourselves — and that is their most precious gift to us, because it allows us to give love and receive it from others.

When Celine Dion sings “I’m everything I am, because you loved me”, I always think of my mother.
Observing A Happy Married Life
By: Pallavi Gupta, B.Sc., Bio
Tags: Marriage, Companionship, Parents, Happy, Life

I can say my parents have a pretty happy and successful married life.

One of them is more emotional and other one is more practical.

One of them is more expressive and can get overwhelmed pretty easily, the other one knows how to stay calm and maintain calm.

Both of them are givers.

Both of them love to express their love and spending time with each other.

Both of them prioritise each other more than they do to any other family member.

Both of them enjoy quiet time together.

Both of them never raise their voices on each other.

None of them have bad habits like drinking too much or over spending.

Both of them are from same culture and region.

One of them loves to cook and the other one is a foodie.

Both of them almost never like to spend money on themselves.

Both of them like to go for movies together.

Both of them are more of indoor people.

One of them writes poem for the other one.

One of them sings for the other one on request.

Both of them sleep at the same time and get up at same time.

Both of them take vacations together once or twice a year.

Both of them have pretty much same idea of raising kids.

One of them is more submissive.

That’s all I can think of right now.
Create a Powerful Trust Circle with Friends, Family or Neighbors for Betters Care of your Kids and Lifestyle with Kumbaya
By: Tech News
Tags: Family, Parenting, Neighborhoods, Relationships, Parents

Create a Powerful Trust Circle with Friends, Family or Neighbors for Betters Care of your Kids and Lifestyle with Kumbaya Tech News & Recommendations Oct 19, 2019·2 min read

Kumbaya is a very simple and accessible app that can offer quick, efficient and trusted help on various requests related to your kids and parenting.

We all need help when we face problems that we can’t solve on our own. We would love to get trusted references from our friends and family but the question is who do we ask? We can’t just ask every friend we know. Especially when it comes to parenting and taking care of kids. That’s why we need a kind of a trust circle. Well to create such ‘trust circles’ you can use Kumbaya — a new app that will allow you to access your most trusted contacts and get the help you need.

Kumbaya is a very simple and accessible app that can offer quick, efficient and trusted help on various requests related to your kids and parenting. It gives you more time when you truly need it and enables you to return the favor to a fellow parent when they need time. It’s a win-win.

Get help from the people you trust the most

Kumbaya makes it easy to ask favors from the people you trust the most. Create your circles of trust (family, friends, neighbors), send them your request, tell them what you need and most importantly don’t forget to be there for them!

Thanks to that reciprocity, you will no longer need to apologize for what you need. Also, be sure to express your gratitude, so all the rest of your trusted contacts can see how cool they are.

So, download this app right now and start improving the way you manage your time and take care of your kids.

Google Play Download Link: Kumbaya

App Store Download Link: Kumbaya