Who Would You Be Today Without Your Struggles?
By: Colin Zhang
Tags: Life Lessons, Motivation, Self Love, Perspective, Pain

Who Would You Be Today Without Your Struggles?

Adversity is a gift

Photo by Steemit

It was cool to look tortured and troubled in high school. Those guys with a serious and unsatisfied demeanor made you wonder what was going on in their heads. Happy, positive kids were lame. We came from a hard-working class town, that’s how it was.

I admired people with real-life problems, sometimes I tried to create problems for myself. It would make me look strong and mature, like the rappers.

Oh, those clueless times.

Thinking back now, it was kind of stupid. Why would anyone want to inflict pain on themselves?

Now I see the point.

I don’t mean pretending to look hurt and tough. I mean that pain is significant; we need it.

I grew up an ultra-sensitive person, and I had no mind of my own. And had I not go through what I had gone through, I would have remained the same.

I’m grateful for all of my sufferings. They made me stronger and more independent. They gave meaning to my life.

What blessing in disguise really means

I’m thankful that I was taken away from my home, parents, and friends. Then thrown to an unfamiliar country at ten years old.

I’m thankful that I only ate meatball sandwiches for lunch every day because I didn’t know how to say tuna, and was too shy to ask. And got picked on every day because I was an immigrant.

I’m thankful that I became a burden to my uncle's family when I lived there for seven years. And losing every bit of my self-esteem because I felt unwanted at home.

I’m thankful that someone snitched on me and got me arrested and expelled from college. And I had to move out of state to start living on my own at nineteen years old.

I’m thankful that I went to an all-white university after transferring and being excluded and called racist slurs.

I’m thankful that I got arrested for DUI’s and other misdemeanor charges in college. And tearing my meniscus from being too drunk at a party, to walk back half a mile to my dorm by myself, not sure how I did it.

I’m thankful that I was single throughout high school and college. And knowing what complete darkness looks like.

More than anything else, I’m thankful that I got to go through all the emotional struggles on my own. Without a single person who knew or understood what I had to go through — they were all character builders.

But I wasn’t always this optimistic and forgiving.

I remembered my uncle and aunt yelled at me for something when I first arrived at their home. I collapsed, banging on my bedroom door, crying and asking why. Maybe I was asking God. Maybe I was asking just anyone out there who’s willing to listen.

I carried that same anger and resentment throughout the years. Looking around, all my friends in school with functional families and siblings, wishing I was them.

I couldn’t understand why I had to be the unlucky one. Why couldn’t I be like the average kid who grew up in a stable family? Why was I forced to come to America instead of one of my cousins? Why didn’t anyone else’s parents divorce like mine? Why was I the only one who had to live through unusual circumstances at such a young age? Why did it have to be me, why not anybody else?

Now I know why.

“God won’t give you more than you can handle.” 1 Memes 7:77

Your strength will be tested in life. The stronger you are, the bigger the adversity.

I wasn’t meant to become another typical person in the crowd, as arrogant as it may sound. Everything happened the way it did, so I can be molded into who I am today.

As are you.

The special ones are supposed to weather through the extra difficult conditions. What makes them stand out is often not their talent, but what they were able to overcome.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “Out of adversity comes opportunity."

Struggles are there to build you up, not tear you down.

But all of the battles I faced alone taught me to lean on myself.

When I was ridiculed and rejected by kids at school, with zero romantic partners and very few friends, I had no choice but to learn how to love myself.

Being a misfit and somewhat of a loner, I learned to think independently instead of following the crowd.

My rage gave me fire. I wanted to make up for all of the experiences and relationships that I missed out on — and then some — ten times more. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce back up. I won’t let all of my pain end up for nothing. There’s nothing better than making your struggle the main reason for your success.

Without the negativity, I wouldn’t see greatness in myself today, and I wouldn’t have the strength to follow through. I haven’t made it yet, but my past experiences have prepared me mentally and emotionally. I am ready.

The way I see it is, suffering is inevitable. But while we’re hurting and fighting to get past it, we should capitalize on it. Have our suffering become a benefit instead of a detriment to our future.

You have a lot of weapons

Think about your insecurities that make your face red when someone brings it up.

Think about the people who rejected you directly or indirectly in your life, the people who have done you wrong.

Think about what you have missed in your life — regrets.

Think about all of the negative experiences in your life that lights you up.

Acting out and lashing out at others is unproductive. Hurting others because you’re wounded is weak. All that’s doing is bringing more hostility into your life.

If you want to bring more love and hope into your life instead, do the cliche, turn your struggle into positive.

You’re only given two choices. One, give up and laid down. Two, use the negativity as fuel.

How will you respond, fight, or flight?