Hindsight- 20/20's
Tags: Personal, Incomplete, Lessons, Identity, Ongoing Projects

Photo by Kourosh Qaffari on Unsplash

At the end of the year many folk are taking (and documenting) stock of themselves and their worlds. Turns out I am one of them folks.

This list was started in my head a while ago but formal documentation started on 26/12/2020 and currently is:

In the future I would really like to have a double sink. The single sink was notably annoying before; but having taken up my current hermitage residency in March 2020 its gotten to a new level of frustration.

There is nothing more comforting then talking to people who believe me when I talk about how I have been treated by others. Sure, there are always multiple ways to interpret a situation but if something odd and intriguing happens and I tell you about it and your reaction is to engage with me and believe me, you are a wonder and a joy and I really appreciate you.

Being a second generation woman in a particular industry doesn’t make it any easier, just different. Being the first woman (like the fist person!) to do something is well documented as a tough road to travel and every destination is reached with hard earned blisters and at least a few glass shards digging into the skin. The women that follow have a new level to deal with, they (and sometimes we) still have a significant level of patriarchy to navigate but also the new template of what a woman in that role looks like. No two woman are the same because no two people are the same. I take nothing away from the trailblazers and I know that it is not fair to ask them to give any more of themselves however, in many careers as you move up the ladder you have to let go of the way you did things to allow those that currently have the roles you have outgrown the freedom to make it their own, move with times and forge a new path. I am learning the extent of what the adage “a woman’s work is never done ” means.

When faced with a problem the quickest way to get people to believe that you are worth their time to detail not just the problem but the various ways you have tried to solve it. They may not want or be able to help you-regardless, you have to try and help yourself first.

The nuclear option is still an option. It is an option of last resort but once you have done everything you can think of, consulted with others and done everything you can think of, consider the nuclear option. Don't be let the ‘nuclear’ overshadow the ‘option’.

Music is great! I like and enjoyed music but of late a friend helped me appreciate it. I still can’t hear the various breakdowns and separations when listening in stereo but until then I forgot about what music can mean and do.

Contracts make the world go round. Get one for everything or walk away and find someone who will help engage in a manner that offers this vital safety net.

You cannot escape your heritage and race.

When faced with the choice to run or overcome, don't underestimate the value of doing either. Your choice has to be right for you in that moment. There is no shame in going or staying. Few people will truly understand what it takes to walk away or stay. The best people are those that give you options but don't force your hand.

Wandering is a delight. Going for a drive, walk or just pacing up and down with no destination or time limit is a joy. I really really like it!

Last updated on 26 December 2020