Forevermore
By: Tegan Brooke
Tags: Short Story, Break Up, Relationships, Fiction, Love

She sees him again a few weeks later by the bananas at the shops.

John stares at her, his eyes wet and wide. ‘Claudine,’ his voice is thick with emotion, ‘how are you?’

She’s confused. Not expecting him to have this reaction. She doesn’t know how to respond so she just shrugs.

John places his hand on hers, covering her wedding ring. On contact, she pulls her hand away. They stare at the ring until she pulls it off. Decades have left a thin pale mark around her finger. The ring comes off easily though and she holds it out to John.

‘No, it was yours.’ His voice breaks on was. ‘Are you going to tell me how you are?’

‘I’m fine,’ she says. ‘How are you?’

His mouth gapes. ‘You’re fine? Are you sure?’

What does he want from me? She thinks. She pulls back her hand, the ring hot in her clenched palm. ‘Yes.’ She takes some bananas, places them in her trolley, and wheels away.

John has a basket and follows close behind. Claudine sees pre-made meals in his basket and her heart sinks. ‘Do you have something more to say, John? You couldn’t look at me a few weeks ago.’

‘I didn’t know how to react. It was shocking, Deenie.’

She winces at the nickname. Hates the tug at her heart. ‘You didn’t seem shocked. You didn’t seem anything at all.’ Claudine looks around the produce section and catches a few eyes. ‘Let me shop in peace, John.’

But he won’t listen. He follows her through the shop. ‘Deenie, don’t you miss me?’

‘Please don’t call me that.’

‘What, Deenie? I’ve always called you that.’

‘Well, you can’t anymore. It’s over.’

‘How can it be over? We’ve been together longer than we’ve been apart, Dee-Claudine.’

She pauses to grab a loaf of rye. ‘It just is. You had your chance and you ignored me. You always ignored me. I deserve better.’ The ring is still in her hand. It burns.

‘Is this Helen’s doing? Did she tell you to leave me?’

Helen is Claudine’s therapist. A lovely lady ten years younger than she. They met at the hairdressers five years ago and when Helen offered her card to Claudine she didn’t take it. But a few weeks later they bumped into each other again and Claudine decided to give therapy a single shot. She hasn’t looked back. Helen did not tell her to leave him, she helped Claudine learn her worth. She is on Claudine’s side, no matter the choices she makes. ‘John, I make my own decisions.’

‘Yeah, sure you do.’ His tone implies otherwise.

‘Leave me alone.’ Claudine still needs eggs, ham and yogurt. But it’s at the other end of the shop and she can’t take much more of his presence. So instead, she heads to the checkout counters. ‘Don’t you have food to buy?’

‘Just come home, okay? Let’s talk. Properly.’

‘I can’t, John.’ She waits in the queue. ‘Please, you’re making a scene.’ She feels her palms sweat. She hates attention. The teen behind the counter asks if she’s alright. ‘Fine, love, thank you,’ she replies warmly. ‘He’s got more to buy, right, John?’

John looks from Claudine to the boy with acne and innocent eyes. ‘Claudine, just tell me why. Why are you leaving me now?’

‘John –‘

‘Please, I don’t understand. You seemed okay. Maybe you weren’t happy all the time, but who is?’ John talks on and on. An unfamiliar surge of anger starts in her belly and rolls like an angry thundercloud up her throat and out her mouth.

‘I don’t love you anymore!’

Everyone around them stares. John blinks, closes his mouth.

Claudine taps her card and gathers her grocery bags. ‘Thank you, love, have a good day.’ She speaks without looking at the poor teen. She doesn’t dare look at John again and walks as fast as her legs can carry her out the shop.

‘Claudine, wait!’

Claudine reaches her car and with a shaky hand unlocks the door and places her groceries in the back seat. As she opens the driver’s door John slams it shut.

‘I said stop!’

Claudine looks around the carpark, wonders if anyone is watching them, but John grabs her jaw and pulls her gaze back to his.

‘How could you leave me after everything I’ve done for you, Claudine? Over 40 years and you think you can just walk out on me?’

His fingers are digging in and Claudine closes her eyes at the pain.

John shakes her head. ‘Open your eyes! I’m talking to you.’

She opens her eyes. Tears fall. ‘Let me go, John.’

John dabs at a tear with his thumb. Removes his hand. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbles. ‘You just make me so mad, Claudine. I haven’t heard from you in weeks. Where are you living?’

She doesn’t want to tell him. She wants to get in her car and drive away. People walking through the carpark are definitely staring at them. ‘Please, I’ve got to go.’

A man passing by with a toddler strapped to his chest pauses. ‘Everything okay?’ The toddler is preoccupied with a toy. He rolls it around and around in his chubby little fingers.

‘We’re fine, thanks,’ John says.

The man ignores him. He’s talking to Claudine.

She takes a step away from John. ‘I’m just getting in my car.’ Her meek voice infuriates her. Why can’t she stand up to him? Why does she need a male stranger to help her get in her own car?

The man waits until Claudine starts the car and reverses out of the park, before shooting John a glare and walking on into the shop.

Later, Claudine is taking a bath when she looks down at her hands and realises the ring is not on her finger. It must have fallen out of her hand at the checkouts. Despite wanting to get rid of it a few hours earlier, she cries and feels the all-to-familiar sting of heartbreak. As she watches her tears drop into the hot bath, she feels homesick for her old life. She feels desperate to get it back, and infuriated with herself for wanting what she willingly discarded. She touches her tender jaw and sinks lower into the bath.