fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
Abortion In America: The Facts
By: Darrian Broom
Tags: Statistics, Politics, Facts, Medical Science, Abortion

Abortion In America: The Facts

There is a great deal of opinion on abortion and the recent restrictive Alabama law. My goal here today is to shove these opinions to the side and simply look at the science behind reproduction, consciousness, and what constitutes life. I’m not focusing on religion because religion is subject to interpretation and therefore subjective. I will lay out the facts here. Let’s begin.

First Some Definitions:

Embryo- An unborn or unhatched offspring in the process of development, in particular a human offspring during the period from approximately the second to the eighth week after fertilization (after which it is usually termed a fetus).

Fetus: An unborn offspring, from the embryo stage (the end of the eighth week after conception, when the major structures have formed) until birth.

Life- An organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction

Consciousness- The state of being characterized by sensation, emotion, volition, and thought

The Facts On Human Reproduction

These are the essential characteristics of human reproduction according to Brittanica, “ 1)liberation of an ovum, or egg, at a specific time in the reproductive cycle, (2) internal fertilization of the ovum by spermatozoa, or sperm cells, (3) transport of the fertilized ovum to the uterus, or womb, (4) implantation of the blastocyst, the early embryo developed from the fertilized ovum, in the wall of the uterus, (5) formation of a placenta and maintenance of the unborn child during the entire period of gestation, (6) birth of the child and expulsion of the placenta, and (7) suckling and care of the child, with an eventual return of the maternal organs to virtually their original state.”

The female germ cells are located in the ovary. The male germ cells are located in the testes. Gestation occurs in the uterus of the female. During copulation spermatozoa passes the vagina through the uterus to the Fallopian tube to fertilize the ovum.

The human body develops from a single cell produced by the male and female gamete. There are three stages to prenatal development. The pre-embryonic stage lasts for two weeks and involves cell division and cell maturity. The embryonic period lasts from the third to eighth week of development. During the fetal period the maturation of organs and tissues occurs and the body experiences rapid development.
Jottings from Agra
By: Maitreya Thakur
Tags: Travel, Diary, Travelling, India, Brexit

9th June 2019 - Agra

I flicked open the newspaper as the Gatimaan Express - India’s fastest train - gathered pace. Outside, the Indian summer raged in all its glory as the train bolted on towards Agra. The rhythmic rumble of the wheels lent an apt background score to the morning as I pored over the newspaper.

The section which caught my eye was a book chart which listed the best selling books in India that month. I questioned if what I saw was reflective in any way of the mood of the nation. Mark Mason’s two books topped the charts - "Everything is F*cked: A Book About Hope" and "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck." This was followed by a string of self-help books which were punctuated by a history and a business book - "Sapiens: A Brief History of Humakind" was ranked fourth while "The Intelligent Investor" was ranked ninth.

What did this mean? Was it possible to gauge how people felt by examining what they read? Or was I looking too deep into it?

I put down the paper and allowed these questions to swirl in my head. A young Indian man next to me was busy on his phone. I asked him if there was WiFi on the train. There wasn’t - but that is the best conversation starter these days, isn’t it?

Over the next half an hour I discovered that he was a freelance architect who had recently found work in Poland. However, he said he hoped to find a job in either Canada or Australia soon. I asked if he wanted to come to Britain. He said he did but lamented the "increasingly difficult" visa requirements. The conversation was now well primed for me to ask the question I had been meaning to ask him for a while:

"Do you think Brexit makes a Britain a less attractive destination for you?"

"I don't think so. Maybe it will hurt its economy, I don't know. Maybe it'll have some impact on Europe. But I don't think it makes it less attractive."
17/6/2021 — The Toughest Day. Today is 17th June 2021. I woke up at…
By: Witson Blog
Tags: Tired, Diary, Hopeless, Stress, Busy

Today is 17th June 2021. I woke up at 06.30am to study. Today is the toughest day, I am so damn tired. My first class started at 08.30am to 10.30am, second class started at 02.00pm to 03.00pm, third class started at 04.30pm to 06.30pm, and the final class started at 06.30pm to 09.30pm.

The final class is ‘MPU’. It was being taught in Malay. Malay is my worst language. I feel so stress and tired because we have to present and even rebate for this course. Also, we have to write reporting, with Malay. I don’t know what should I do for the next step, I can’t understand the instructions of grouping or anything I heard. I have to watch the recording but I am so tired now. I have no more energy for this stuff. I am so stress because if I fail this subject, then I can’t be graduated. This is so bad. I have no idea what should I do. Studying the main modules has spent so much times, I can’t even sleep. And now, I have to study another subject, with Malay language. Besides, there are 2 left subjects, mathematics prerequisite and BM(A) (Malay subject) will be started at the next month. God bless me.

I will go and take a bath, then sleep. I am so damn tired. I don’t even have extra energy to make the time spending chart or something else. Maybe I will write them at tomorrow.

Good bye and Good night.
A lost diary
By: Ayotomiwa Oladapo
Tags: Lost Diary, Diary, Ayotomiwa, Life, Lifestyle

Dear diary,

I wish I could write what I am about to tell you in some national journal or widely read newspaper instead but not everyone cares about my story.

I have a thousand stories to tell people but I am not sure I would get a platform any soon. However, I know you are always here to hear me.

On a second thought, you can’t tell me your opinion on that, and how can I be sure you are not just enduring my stories? If only you could give me a piece of your mind.

I have seen and I have heard. I have seen people with disdain in their eyes towards me for reasons I might never know and I might never get a chance to ask why?

I have heard rumours and opinions fly about me and I am lost in thoughts as to how I got caught in a web of unrelatable thoughts and opinions.

I am sometimes lost as to who I really am. Am I what people say or think I am? No. Yes. Maybe. Sometimes I am not even sure of who I am. I am just me, doing me, and trying to live fine.

I want to be happy and be with who I feel good being around but something seems wrong in it. I feel bound to live my life in a particular way everyone wants it to be. Every time I tried that, it ended sour. Every time I didn’t, I heard rounds.

I am not this, I am not. I am not what I heard about me. If at all, I look like what I heard, my conscience never looked like it. My conscience wasn’t pricking me all the way and the last I checked, it wasn’t dead.

However, these opinions and thoughts did more than prick. They got me lost and lost. If only people could stop judging for once and ask questions, maybe I wouldn’t ever need to write this to you again.

I am me and not what I am thought to be. Above all, good or bad, I need no thoughts about me. I am me. I won’t get lost trying to be who they expect me to be but me.

Yours truly,

Me.
Who we are
Tags: Diary, Philosophy

Last night I suddenly came onto an insight after listening to a YouTube video. The person (I think Alan Watts) talks about that human beings always define themselves by their past. We are who we are by the things that we have done and experienced in the past. This can sometimes be problematic if this definition is something that make us suffer in the present. The person talks about that we should see the past for what it is and let it go. By doing so, we can be who are at present time. This topic is something that has been covered by a lot of people, and it’s a lesson that we’ve heard before. I want to explore this topic by looking at the problem from an additional angle.

Let’s just say that yes, we are who are by everything that has happened in the past. This is then just half the truth. In addition, we could also add and define ourselves of the dream and vision that we have of our future self. We could imagine a future with all the things we can do, can have and can experience. By doing so, we can see that both the past and the future are a reflection of ourselves. If we combine the past and the future we can have clearer definition of the I instead of only defining ourselves by our past.

I, myself, struggle too by defining myself by my past actions and experiences. This however doesn’t tell me the whole story. I can’t let my past self define me because my future self if also a part of me with it own future actions and future experiences.

By sharing this insight I want to give us an additional tool to get a clearer view of who we are. If you feel stuck by your past. See who you are and will be in the future. And maybe this will help you get unstuck. I wish you the best of luck my friend.
3 Top Reasons To Enjoy Morning
Tags: Meditation, Life Lessons, Toastmasters, Diary, Morning Routines

Toastmaster’s Table Topic Thursday #10

Coffee, tea or me?

Magandang Umaga! Bonjour! Sawatdee Dton Chao! Guten Morgen! I was trained to wake up and do household chores early morning before 5 am. I never had the opportunity to enjoy morning not until I came to Thailand and found a job that only requires 3–4 hours from me every day. At first, I was hesitant to enjoy my first start of the day and prove to myself that I am different from my housemates as I would like to be productive first thing in the morning. Then the time came when Covid is still affecting our socialization and I eventually learned to savor my mornings.

Enjoying the morning sky and spotting familiar characters with those clouds!

It’s been some consecutive weeks when I realized that I am behaving differently with my mornings and I’m convincing myself that it is definitely okay to enjoy your morning.

Morning Motivation

Take your time in the morning to remind yourself about your motivations and inspire yourself to live with them. Goodbye yesterday and think about what 3 areas you want to improve and just do it. When you are motivated, you are likely successful and productive.

Morning Gratitude

Clear your slate and feed the mind with things that you are grateful for. If it’s hard to think, try to have 3 areas you appreciate in life. Eventually, the list will start to pile up. There’s magic when you magnify good things in life. Taking care of yourself does not mean only physical but also mental health. Be grateful and start to see your life change gradually as you become happier!

Morning Rapport

You might cheer someone up when you build a good relationship with the people around first thing in the morning. When you clear things in your mind, it would result in a more relaxed state then it will just flow. How about you? Did you say “Good morning!” or gave a smile to someone? Break the barriers to set up a better environment/relationship around you. You may start by telling it to the being you see in the mirror. Say it with extra care and love.

I know that there are still a lot of compelling reasons and ways for basking yourself in the morning. My housemate likes to pet the cat, play the piano, think blankly and creatively, and read books. I just discovered enjoying mornings late as now as I equate productiveness to usefulness. I guess this is me saying I am loving my mornings already!
June 17, 2021
By: Matthew Burgos
Tags: Creativity, Flash Fiction, Journal, Diary, Thoughts

I wish the car never stops.

The empty highway snugs between two vast fields with nothing in plain sight, but well-watered grasses that reach the ankles. As we speed along the cemented and evened-out road, the gust forces my hair to dance and my eyes to squint. Above the scenery, the sun is nowhere to be seen after the gray clouds conceal it beneath their embrace, and such grayness means nothing, but color.

The road stretches far until it stops to infinity. The car cranks as it itches for bumps and occasional stops, but with no gas stations in the horizon, it can do nothing, but wait.

Wait.

I hope fear will not reign at the moment, especially since the universe thinks I am naive to believe this will never end. What if I am the first to detest and question the way the balance of the one’s fate works? What if this serenity — your hands on the driving wheel while I sit on the passenger seat, observing the details of the beauty the void surrounding us presents — drags on until it wears us both?

As I turn around to look at you, I notice your left elbow drapes across the convertible car’s door. Your forefinger grazes your lower lip then your chin as your gaze loses its consciousness and enters a trance. Your right hand rests on the wheel, waiting for your command. No response — not even a tap of a finger.

I resist myself from turning on the radio, or else the announcer will broadcast the time. The engine keeps on revving, the silence keeps on stretching, the road keeps on going, and the moment keeps on lingering.

At least in a tensed silence, I can enjoy how I envision what happiness is.
Hello, For the sake of writing lets call me Elizabeth or maybe even Lizzie.
Tags: Upset, Diary, Bleak, Writing, Life

Photo by Cathryn Lavery on Unsplash

Hello,

For the sake of writing lets call me Elizabeth or maybe even lizzie. do you have any idea why I chose to use that name? its quite simple really, a lot of the characters(fantasy) that I love seemed to be named Elizabeth. Citing a few examples here for you, Young miss Turner from POC and miss Bennet from Pride and Prejudice.

Honestly, even I have no idea as to why I thought I should write. It's been quite a long time since I wrote. I haven't been able to write since having a close call with some kind of complicated relationship nearly two years back. I hope to make this a blog where I can post my thoughts at least once a week, but for all I know this is going to be the one and only post.

I am the laziest person I know, the best procrastinator to ever exist (at least I am good at something), there are quite a few things I consider myself best at one amongst them is self pity. From the time I was 17, I've been drowning in this huge pool of self pity. it might be cause of the fact that I read many fantasy novels, watch a lot of movies and thus have always seemed to have expected a lot from life. I've always thought that life will turn out unicorns and rainbows for me, at least from the time I started going to college. But currently all it seemed to have given me is gray and shit. This feeling of not getting what I wanted makes me realize the bleakness of the future and what it holds for me, which in turn makes me question the point of living.

All these thoughts that I've just written down seems to come from the procrastinator in me. Since one has to work hard to get the unicorns and all I seem to be doing is brooding over the fact that I don't have the unicorn yet and may never even find it. This train of thought is devastating(don't go there).

At times I feel like it would be great to have a partner with whom I can share all my thoughts and insecurities with, again my past have made me realize the fact that I am not someone who is meant to find romantic love and that all the stories I’ve read were nothing but fairy tales and will always remain just that.

I’ve got tons of stuff to do for university and online classes. Our teachers seem to not care at all about whether we are alive or not(the amount of workload is amazing).

Anyways have a good week

With lot of love

Lizzie
MY GENESYS DIARY: PART I – MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS
Tags: Workplace, Friendship, Diary, Productivity, Work

I remember getting stuck with a copy I was working on. Copywriting isn’t my best strength as every day there’s relearning to do. I was to write a comprehensive review/sales copy for software built by the incredible humans of Genesys. Did I panic? Yes. It was the imposter in me trying to struggle with proving that I deserved my job and I was also good at it.

Yvonne was the only one I could comfortably meet to help my brain function better. On my first day at the job, she told me it was okay to ask for her help whenever I get stuck with writing- I didn’t hesitate to do that. She explained what I had to do and it made the process of writing more straightforward for me. Yvonne is my go-to person at work when I’m unsure about what to write.

Bosses are said to be scary sometimes, unapproachable also. Not David and Nino. I think what they have is a superpower, to be this intelligent and also have a friendly approach to everyone that works in their team. I think my old boss should ask them for their handbook or a manual on how this intentional leadership thing is done.

For some weird reason (blame it on the coffee mostly), I see Tappi, Ezra, and Jerry as triplets. Maybe because they share an apartment or the fact that they have inside jokes and this obvious bromance thing going on with them (I promise, I’m not jealous). For me, its how Jerry walks into the office and gives everyone a fist bump with a very contagious smile on his face. It’s hard for you not to smile back at Jerry. If you ever come to Genesys and have a reason to smile, maybe you walked past Jerry.

There’s Ezra with his jokes and the word “foolish,” which he has given a polite meaning to. The first time I met Ez was in the kitchen, I remember making sloppy sounds with my cup of coffee and him saying I disgust him. Trust me; if Ezra says a hurtful word to you, it’s coming from a place of love. When he calls you foolish, it’s low-key his way of saying he loves you.

Tappi and I would video call each other in the office and laugh until one person drops the call. It’s how we bonded. I would randomly text him a Whatsapp sticker and he will return the energy. Taps is one of the happiest people in my workspace. It’s easy to cheer him up.

At this point I’ve realized how long this read is about to be and also the fact that I’ve made a lot of friends in a short time. Why I’m making this particular post? You will find out at the end.

Richmond defines the word “multitasking.” I have no idea how we became friends, but I know before the reshuffling of desks, Richmond and Frisky were my best mates. We had inside jokes, and it takes only a word or eye contact for us to disturb the quietness with our laughter. With Richmond, comes the caring Stephanie. I like her, don’t ask me why but it’s hard not to like Stephanie.

If there’s anyone that needs a space of his own and a break from the rest of the brand team sometimes, it’s Atoms. He walks into the door and gives handshakes to everyone, and heads to his desk to start work.
My Day-I with Reinforcement Learning
By: Rahul Rai Khatri
Tags: Reinforcement Learning, Diary, Python, Deep Learning, Machine Learning

What is Reinforcement Learning?

RL is believed to be the fourth paradigm of Artificial Intelligence after Supervised, Semi-supervised and Unsupervised Machine Learning. As per many experts, RL is the true AI.” RL is a learning paradigm concerned with learning to control a system so as to maximize a numerical performance measure that expresses a long-term objective”, wrote Csaba Szpesvari in his book Algorithms for Reinforcement Learning. RL is the science of decision making that makes it so general and interesting.

In English, Reinforcement Learning is a kind of Machine Learning in which an Agent makes certain Observation and then takes Actions within an Environment in an expectation of getting rewards. The objective of the RL Algorithm is to learn in an attempt to maximize its long term rewards.

If you did not get the intuitive meaning of terms like Reward, Environment, Actions then sit tight, an easy diagram along with an analogy is coming your way :

Basic RL Working

The Agent( could be compared with the Brain of a human) acts in a specified environment. It Observes the environment and then selects the Action that will bring it maximum Reward.

Dishwashing Example

For instance, an RL algorithm is employed in a dish room. As mentioned in the figure above, Agent’s task is to get rid ( by cleaning and stacking the dishes properly)of Dishes as soon as possible and will be rewarded a point every time there will be no dishes on the counter. The action space of the Agent might be Joint movement. And information that Agent might get back is a camera image of the kitchen. Might get +1 reward if there are no dishes on the counter. In this scenario, there will be a delayed reward- for a long time, the dishes will be on the counter unless it just sweeps all the dishes off the counter and has them crash on the floor. So in this scenario, the expected reward will come after a long time.

Just in case you are wondering who decides the Reward? It is the algorithm designer that decides the Rewards as per the environment where an algorithm is about to be employed.

How RL is different from other ML algorithms? There is no supervisor. It is more of a trial and error paradigm. There are just reward signals. And the feedback about good/bad decision might not come instantaneously. It might get delayed by several steps. So in RL when a decision is making then only after several steps the decision could be judged good/bad. If you had watched the Alpha Go documentary then you will surely understand this concept intuitively. Ref: When algorithm makes some weird moves (Move 37 for instance )and everyone doubted the strength of Alpha Go but it ends in the end. The i.i.d paradigm does not apply to RL because of the Agent acting in the real world. As the Agent makes action, the data that it is receiving varies significantly. Unlike other algorithms, RL is based on reward hypothesis ( stating all the goals could be described by maximization of the expected cumulative reward )
Missing You
Tags: Poetry, Diary, Thoughts And Feelings, Notes, Dreaming Of A Lover

Written by: Berlanga on 7/29/2016

My thoughts are flooded of you today. What makes today different from any other?

It’s my appreciation of the Lil things you say to me. Reading “Good Morning Hun” to “Babe let me read” and the “I miss you” plus of the photo you emailed me when I was down… to reading that I’m in your thoughts throughout the day… speaks volumes.

Darkness of Outer Space

Me, living Far Far Away in a Galaxy in which I felt lost and found at the same moment. My Soul & Heart were lost. You found them and brought them to the surface, thank you. In a short time you captivated me. I feel you so close but you’re far from me. I long to hold you, to kiss you, and taste you. I gaze the stars hoping to find you, my Love.

I wonder what you see in me… I wonder what you hold back from me… I wonder when shall I see you… I wonder what you may sound like….

These are mysteries in which time will reveal. Time worth spending no matter how long it takes.

I whisper words of concern. Words to lift you up. Words to invade your mind. Words to penetrate you soul. I speak to grab your attention, to captivate you, to keep you wanting and leaving you at edge of imagination. Pondering what will the next day bring. Words to describe how I want to be with you now at this moment. Words like…to Ravish, to Excite, leaving Breathless, to Invade, to Devour, to Secure, to Hold, and words of Promiscuity.

You are Worth the wait. Waiting to get closer, the wait to hear you laugh. The wait to earn your Trust. I yearn to see all of you: the good, the bad, the ugly. You’re a Queen deserving of a King whom shall go through a Dark Abyss and to the Deepest Corners of the Galaxy to Rise together as One. To teach and mentored you.

Look forward to go the distance with you. Just remember it will never be a dull moment with me.

Love, I know you have a lot on your mind.. plate is full. Just know I am here for you. No matter how crazy life becomes no matter how angry life gets you. Come in my arms and let me bring you fresh air to breathe.

I am here for you and to use when you feel ready.
Lost Without You
Tags: Poetry, Diary, Thoughts And Feelings, Hopeless Romantic, Lost Love

Written by Berlanga 08/19/2016

I wonder to and fro… I look deep and long… I hunt you across mountains, seeking you… I hear you…. I feel you… Can’t see you but hear you calling me. I can feel your heart calling me… My Love where are you? My mind racing… thinking where you must be…. My heart beats in rhythm with yours… I sense it… beating as one.

Google Images: Lost Without Context — Jeff Nischwitz

I long to see you… your voice invades me… my eyes see you everywhere but you vanish once I reach you…. my heart yearns of your touch…. you feel me but no hands touch me… they are yours… those gentle caress I love… Love, where did you go…. why I can’t I find you.

I sail across oceans to find you…. I venture through valleys to locate you…. I march in the heated desert from oasis to oasis…. travel across Plains seeking you…. I hear you calling me…. my heart leads me…. I must find you, my Love….

I’m tired my love…. your my strength keeps me going…. I feel you close to me…. hearing your lovely voice as the wind blows…it vanishes…. my mind is with you…. Oh love, my Queen…. my Everything…. my True Love…. Exhausted I continue my search….

Every gust of wind carries your scent… It’s intoxicating… mmmmmm…. Baby I’m coming for you…. Wait for me… I’m coming… I’m a Wolf driven to find his Kitten… I must find you….

I travel to the corners of the World…. I look into the Heavens…. I go deep into the Darkness…. I shall never quit looking for you my Love. My heart beats with you… I feel the Love… the Passion… the Intimacy of your touch.
My Life Journey #8
By: Penny The Wise
Tags: Diary, Learning, Life

You don’t have to play like a professional to love playing a game.

The line I wrote might be unclear, but hope you all get it. The game I mean is all game we love after giving it a try in first time or watching our friends either a gametuber plays it. Our reason maybe simple, but isn’t that what make us interested?

Our choice either variated and different. I, for example, love playing virtual football such as Pro Evolution Soccer. In other hand, the majority of my friends extremely love Mobil Legend. As the consequence, our skill is perfectly different. Therefore, whenever we compete each other, we make a huge gap between us.

The dilemma is when I have a friend love either Pro Evolution Soccer and Mobile Legends, or in other words, he can play both. When we played PES together, I could feel my skill is far below him. He looked like could doing anything I couldn’t do in my own game. At the time, I feel useless. Like I was nothing, I couldn’t beat him. I struggled in re-match for many times, but the score didn’t change. Then, I made a ‘training’ to improve my skill, with a hope I manage to beat him someday.

In my training, I realized I’ve picked a wrong choice. I played to beat him, showed my skill off in front of him. At the end, I lost the purpose or reason I had before. I play because I love to play, no matter what. I am not going to be a pro to play game I love. I just enjoy it. And I hope, we do.

Sincerely, Penny the Wise.
Day Seventeen
By: Xamilla Yiu
Tags: Goodbye, Diary, 2020

Last night I dreamed of being chase by a gigantic octopus and tying to find my way out. No where to hide that I pulled myself up towards the ceilings as best as I could. Then there was a huge water tank where there was another type of octopus. My friend and I strategized to get this predatory octopus into the same water tank so they could kill each other. We might have succeeded somewhat.

Mild migraine upon waking up. My back still sore. Definitely a stressful night and I woke up around 6:30am.

Managed to focus, though, to get all my applications in. It was interesting that I immediately felt cold and needed to crawl back into bed for a while. The storm did not help either. Felt super unsettled inside. The wind was bothersome.

Fingers crossed. I have done everything I could on these applications. Now I pray.

How interesting that I am reading up on dreams today as part of the class with Susan, which echos my intense dream(s) last night.

Just got off the video call with potential collaboration with a company in China. Very excited, a little self-doubt. Quite a conversation for over an hour. I shall take this as a learning and growing opportunity. It will be good. I know it will be good.

Tomorrow, keep on fighting!
Journaling
By: Deepika Singh
Tags: Discover Yourself, Diary, Journaling, Electronic Journal

Journaling

Writing an actual diary vs writing an electronic journal.

I had an epiphany once that I was able to process my thoughts better and go with the flow and not bother about small things during the day. And the only thing that I was doing that time was keeping a diary for myself, writing daily how things went for me, what made me feel something, the thoughts I had in my mind. Like writing an actual diary, not an electronic one. One more thing I was doing, as I was coming across a lot of things I wanted to find more about those things later on. So I kept writing about those topics in a page in the diary. Keeping it for later access when free time and thinking I will pick one thing at a time in the future and then just get to know about them and then move to the next thing. And the thing is, I did start doing it. I picked up one thing and then the other, but then some things were really broad to find out about and so, I just gave up on them, because of the time crunch. And then I couldn’t time for myself during the day to sit and go over those things. There was always something or the other coming up. And now the thing is those things that I wanted to know about are just sitting on the diary because right now I don’t know when to sit and explore on those things.

The main concern in this situation is my diary is a hard copy. One day I am just gonna keep it away somewhere, where I won’t access it too much. And then one day I will just stop using it. And those things I wrote about they are just gonna go.

Wowww. I just figured out the solution to the problem I am facing by writing it out in this journal. Man. This is good.

Solution:

When writing a diary, write into an actual journal where you can pour your heart out and can just go with the flow. You have the privacy for yourself. When writing on an electronic medium you will be connected to the internet and thus you are never disconnected with the outside rush and cannot have that alone time for yourself. By dedicatedly writing into an actual journal we have that time for ourselves, where we can let ourselves and our thoughts flow freely and that way we discover things about ourselves which we wouldn’t have otherwise.

But then there is also this thing that you may not always have a pen and a paper handy but you always have your phone. A medium acting as the pen and paper for most people. And of you fail to find a pen and a paper near by, you always have the option to turn to your phone for the self unleash.

And for the things that need our attention again and again, like a list that I need to look again and find more about some things, we can write them into an electronic medium where they will be preserved for a longer time. And we can refer to that list whenever we want in the future also.

Woww. Problem solved. Thanks to journaling!!
The unnoticeable rebellion underneath
Tags: Self, Diary, Hong Kong, Life, Inspiration

It can be possible that several thoughts reside inside me but they constantly contradict each other. It eventually creates the confusion triggering me to experiment those puzzling thoughts that were left unnoticed or ignored before. This process is so subconscious that I only find out this morning and hence I feel the need to write it down.

I read the weather forecast the night before, which indicated thunderstorms might follow. For such a scenario, my instinct used to often prompt me to put an umbrella in my bag as a precaution, despite the weather would turn out gorgeous. And this time, I went out with my tote bag as usual but no umbrella inside. The summer weather became quite unpredictable. The thunderstorm drove away the lovely sun all by a sudden and swept the city without mercy. I stood at the doorway of a mall where I randomly entered just a few minutes ago, feeling surprisedly excited for the unexpected but also expected thunderstorm. I laughed. The well-planning person gave up her pattern. The rebellious me claimed the victory. What’s next? This was where the excitement mostly came. A solution to deal with the pop-up situation is needed. My focus then shifted from the crazy rain outside back to myself and my surrounding. The small concierge was setup at the doorway of the mall. A board was held there stating umbrella renting service was available. Here lain my solution, a cash deposit to the staff at the concierge and an umbrella for myself. I walked in the rain happily with the renting umbrella.

As a Chinese raised city girl, I was so typical to perceive fair skin contributing to the female beauty. Despite of the truth that I always loved being under the sun, I still didn’t feel at ease to get tanned. But the revolution just happened, I don’t remember it rooted from which particular date, I become less and less uncomfortable with the tanning skin, though I have no intention to get tanned as much as the western culture advocates, I simply accept or even enjoy that the color changes over time naturally, the cycle of tanning and whitening, the cycle of wane and reborn. Different layers of colors, light or dark, due to the varying sun exposure over time, spread over my body. I don’t opine it as disharmony, just a mark made by the nature without purposely human intervention, a gesture of natural experience. An afterthought comes into mind during my sun burn healing since last weekend.

Life sometimes is so subtle. Only until those unnoticeable rebellious thoughts gather in a big wave and start to surface, then I realize that life can surprise me by converting the old unsexy things into the new seasoning to my life.
Ready, Set, Go Insane
By: Es Beverage
Tags: Diary, Chronicle, Business, Entrepreneurship, Coffee

Are you SURE you want to read this madness?

Hello there, I’m BREE and I guess this will be a diary, of sorts.

I realize the folks who peruse MEDIUM are used to clean lined, minimalist factuals and literary latte — as opposed to the black coffee with two Splendas I’m about to serve up. However, I am an enterpreneur. I am out here in the bootstrapping mix, trying to find some utility for my life without shaming myself for not being some person-on-a-pedestal (from my past and long since, forgotten)I‘ve been trying to emulate since like, forever.

I have opened a business. I’m about to sell coffee. I’m about to sell coffee like gangbusters. I want you to buy my coffee. That’s the simple part.

The part I’m blogging about is the part where I lean over my desk in tears; nearly passed out from working under flourescent lighting too long. It’s the part where I can’t find a soul to talk to about what stirs my entrepreneurial soul — in an office full of like-minded people. It’s the part where my husband is trying his best to take me home for the evening but he can’t find me — ’cause I’m under the desk about to be electrocuted by an assemblage of cords, plugs, transformers and surge protector bricks.

“I’m not leaving until I find the cap to this effing APPLE PEN!”

My posts here are going to be about my journey — ass first into the business world — by-way-of the #coffeelife. So, welcome along and Ready, Set, Go INSANE!
I suddenly have a mortgage in principle — The First Time Buyer Diaries
By: First Time Buyer
Tags: Finance, Property, Diary, Home, Storytelling

I’m not quite sure what happened, to be totally honest. All I know is I felt like I needed to talk to an adult about mortgages. One minute I walked into the building society expecting a friendly chat about mortgages with no strings attached. The next, I left clutching an unexpected piece of paper with ‘decision in principle’ emblazoned on the top. I know a mortgage in principle is the thing I need to start looking for houses in anger but, I mean, I now seem to have a three month clock on the biggest purchase of my life. It feels like a big thing.

Maybe I was being naive when I walked into the office. I told the guy that I wanted to talk about mortgages. I told him I wanted to find out what I might be able to borrow. Then the next thing I know I’m showing him my payslips and he’s talking to me about repayment terms. The man didn’t even buy me dinner first (which is a JOKE because can you imagine a more deeply boring dinner? Plus, he’s seen my payslips now — he knows there’s no point getting involved).

I keep replaying it in my head. I really don’t think it ever came up that I was applying for a full-on mortgage in principle. The building society man asked me why I was there. I said “to talk about mortgages”. I thought we’d chat in the way that teenagers in American high school movies talk about their options with a friendly school counsellor. He’d tell me how to work out my budget and talk me through how it all worked. I’d leave feeling enlightened. Confident. Like I could scale any property ladder if I just put my mind to it.

I mean, look. Lesson learned. The next time a man sits me down in an office and makes me read terms and conditions off of a swivelling computer screen, just say no. Or at least say “I think there’s been a misunderstanding”. If I have to bring in documents to prove my identity in order to have a conversation, then that conversation might be a bit more involved than I realised.

I suppose now I know: there’s really no “putting out feelers” in the house buying process. I have been at this for about a week. I’ve put out a sum total of one feeler, and that feeler has already led a credit check and a slightly dazing hour in the back room of a Halifax. And a cake as a reward for pretending to be an adult for an hour. So I guess it’s not all bad.
Monday July 1, 2019
By: Low Key Stories My Day
Tags: Humour, Humor, Diary, Daily Blog, Food

I spent this Canada day morning doing Asian things with my parents. We had breakfast at Yin Ji Chang Fen, a place known for their congee and rice noodle rolls. For whatever reason, the historical photos of China hanging on the walls combined with the cacophony of Cantonese conversation and clanging dishes made me feel particularly connected to my heritage. I’m not usually a fan of congee. This place did not change my mind. My dad did explain why theirs was better than say, one local queen of congee- “You see how the rice grains are broken up? It means they actually boiled the rice to thicken the congee instead of using cornstarch.” The rice noodle rolls were delightful. How can I describe the experience? It was like swallowing a delicate silk towel. We had a plain one flavored with peanut butter and sweet sauce, and one covered with a thin layer of egg. Although wrapping something with a thin layer of egg seems fancy, we all agreed its rough texture ruined the very mouthfeel that makes rice noodle rolls delicious. Our meal was accompanied by both savory and sweet fried fritters which we dipped in the congee. They came crispy and piping hot, which normally is considered a good thing, but today was considered a contributing factor to my burnt tongue. Turns out, dunking a piping hot thing into another piping hot thing can burn your tongue.

With bellies full of carbs, we were ready for some exercise. So we walked across the parking lot to T&T supermarket. According to my parents, the name roughly translates to ‘Big Unified Chinese Places’. Supermarkets are a great place to marvel at God’s creations. Have you ever seen turbot fish? They look like piles of sand got together to form a lopsided face. They lay on their sides in the tank as if to say ‘screw it, we’re too tired to look like normal fish.’ Underneath the turbot was a tank full of crabs. I asked if any of them were happy. “No”, they replied. An elderly Japanese man came up next to me. We watched the crabs together. He spoke in a lighthearted and curious tone. I assume he said something like, “hey look-they’re alive!” He picked up a crab and laughed when the legs moved. He took a video of the crabs on his phone.
Letters to Myself — Shining Star. Hey my oldest friend, how’s t
By: Renan Correia'
Tags: Writing, Diary, Connection, Psychology

When your duties are paid, your mind rests. You look through the window, where the untouched night turns you into a guest. Sober and quiet, the city settles down and turn your lights on, reflecting thousands of shine stars and combining all the magical mystery of the night and the universe in just one moment.

Oh, Renan, the night is truly loving, isn’t it? Who knows how to look at it, are aware of the peace that it brings to the soul. The night also amazes you for all the deep mystery that it carries, full of unpredictable possibilities.

Just like the night seems to hide its most valuables secrets, our subconscious also has the same mastery.

No eye contact, the bright smile from minutes ago are gone, probably hidden in a safer place inside you. Your behavior clearly changes next to some people, but why? Actions are just the edge of an iceberg, the result of a puzzle delivered by our mind.

We, as human beings, have been walking on Earth for about 200,000 years. Time enough for our mind develops a response against almost all kinds of danger and it is about these defenses that we need to talk about.

All those years of evolvement made our mind smart as hell, and when you stop to think about it, you realize how magnificent it is. We literally came from almost nothing, to grow up and become living beings capable of figure out other ways of expressing nature’s beauty, such as by music, art, poem, and dancing.

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” — That is what Newton taught us about nature and once we are part of it, it also applies to you, Renan.

However, our mind as it is today, went to a lot to get here and all the learnings, protected in the depth of our subconscious, act ruled for the main rule, protect us. Because of that, in order to get extra time for a reaction, we start to react to predictions, not actions anymore. It’s a smart way to avoid the danger, but it may explain why you feel uncomfortable and you suddenly build walls around your happiness and inner shine in the presence of some people, that in some moment in the past made you deal with their demons.

But, you do not live in the past, then, don’t blame others for your predictions based on previous actions. Deal with your walls and the present instead.

Mental walls belong to a system of reactions against supposed dangerous predictions. That allows us to get it by.

However only your survival is not enough and at some point in your life, you have to solve some puzzles in order to let your smiles being another shining star in the night.

Renan Correia
Dear Natalie,
By: Robyn Sinéad Sheppard
Tags: Journals, Diaries, Memories

Dear Natalie,

Many of my generation (I’ll be 70 in June) will tell you that you’re too young to have done much of anything worth preserving. To them I say “horsefeathers and bull pucky.”

You’re never too young — or too old — to start recording your life. I only wish I had started it earlier.

With today’s technology we always have a recording device with us: our ubiquitous mobile phones. So why not record those special moments as they happen? Or even the ordinary ones?

When I was 5 years old my family migrated from New York state to California, where my father began a new career. I was irritated by all the times we’d stop for lunch along the highway and he’d make us stand still for the family photo.

Now, some 60 years later, I look at those same pictures and remember. The rest areas are gone, as is Route 66, our cross-country trail.

Then there was the road trip we took when I was so excited to see bison that I ran down the hill to see them more closely, tripped and fell into the Little Big Horn River that separated us. Reading your story made me remember that adventure, and I thank you for it.
One more closure.
By: Grillo Ameno
Tags: Feelings, Diary, Real Life Stories

I’m told it’s closed on Sunday. I’ll have to find another place to have breakfast with my coffee, toast with oil and croissant before I go to work.

“Have a super day, sir”.

I’ll never hear that phrase again. At least not there, which will probably end up becoming a some kind of business office.

I got there earlier than any other day. So I could enjoy my breakfast without rushing.

This time I didn’t met there the unknown, high and stylish girl in the wool cap and short gray dress (lately she was always dressed this way). As other times before, flaunted her long and slender legs on black tights. While looking sideways, I used to fantasized about entangling my hands between them. Her high-pitched voice, when asking for her coffee to take away, immediately dissolved that pleasant erotic fantasy in my head.

Still half asleep, all I managed to articulate to the waitress at that hour in the morning as I clumsily threw a fork on the floor and almost hit another client with the tray:

- I hope everything goes well for you.

The response from the smiling little waitress who used to serve me lately seemed a little sad and nostalgic. We would probably never see each other again.

- Aren’t you coming tomorrow?

- Well, I wish i could, but I’m going on a trip.

I rushed out the wrong door and didn’t even turn my head to look through the wide window of the cafeteria.
Dear 2019,
Tags: Motivational, Writing, Diary, Personal, New Year

Dear 2019,

First and foremost, thank you. This year has been a cluster of obstacles that, at the time, I genuinely didn’t know that I would get through. I’ve seen a lot of people posting photos of December 2018 — December 2019 so I figured I’d share my story as well in hopes that someone can take from it as I did.

The photo you see above holds monumental value to me. The young girl you see in the photo on the top (December ‘18) no longer exists. Pieces, maybe. That photo was taken when I was in a relationship that ultimately played a huge factor into the year of 2019. I’ve been in toxic dynamics before, but this relationship turned downright abusive, controlling, and hostile. I ended this relationship early March of 2019 in hopes that cease fire would transpire and platonic friendship could continue. That did not happen, it ultimately led to a dramatic break that resulted in me jumping head first into another relationship that ended up with the two exes going after my job. Crazy, huh? Luckily, despite the efforts on their part made in vain, my work ethic prevailed and I was able to maintain my employment despite the harassment.

This continued for months, it was not a one and done deal. However, I’m grateful. The emotional turmoil that I faced because of these people led me to wanting better for myself and wanting to better myself in hopes that whatever god forsaken karma I was experiencing wouldn’t reoccur. I invested in a personal trainer, started changing my lifestyle habits, and refocused on creating a social life and mending relationships that had fallen wayward due to those toxic circumstances.

I’m ending 2019 with more experience than I bargained for, a lot of mistakes I was forced to learn from, and a lot of first time experiences as well. December has been kind to me and I’m determined to maintain that momentum throughout the year of 2020. Maybe it’s intuition or downright grit, but this new year is going to be full of opportunities and adventures.

Be kind to yourself and exercise patience. Do your best every single day and I promise, you’ll never second guess yourself or your value. You are just as important as all of the people you pour your love into. Reciprocate that love to yourself.

Cheers 🥳