How to Own Up to a Mistake at Work
By: Deanna Pai
Tags: Scripts, Work, Mistakes, Succeed, Leadership

How to Own Up to a Mistake at Work

Don’t panic. Just follow these steps.

Photo: NicolasMcComber/Getty Images

This isn’t about job-ending screwups. This is about not realizing a presentation was due today. This is about accidentally cc’ing a client on an email they definitely shouldn’t be reading. This is about the medium-size mistakes that make the day way more difficult than you, your boss, and your team thought it would be.

In moments like these, it’s always tempting to reach for excuses: you were given bad information, you never got the email, whatever moves the spotlight off of your own role in the screwup. But more often than not, shifting blame only makes you look worse. And as far-fetched as it may seem in the moment, it is possible to admit your mistake without shredding your reputation. In fact, owning up to it may be the only way to emerge from the situation unscathed. Here’s how to pull it off.

As crisis managers say: Get out in front of it

If it will take a while to get under control, or if you need to loop in a manager or client to reach a resolution, then have the conversation as soon as possible. “Withholding knowledge of an error may often be judged more harshly than the first,” says career coach Rebecca Fraser-Thill, director of faculty engagement at the Center for Purposeful Work at Bates College. “The first mistake was likely unintentional and may be excused due to that. The second mistake of withholding information is a willful decision and is much harder to explain away.”

And no matter how good a liar you are, you’ll almost certainly get caught at some point, making the situation a bigger deal than it needs to be. Think of this moment as a character test. “Everybody makes mistakes,” says executive coach and career-change consultant Maggie Mistal. “The question is: What do you do when the mistake has happened? What kind of person are you? That’s when you show your true colors.” This is a chance to prove that you’re a person of integrity. Take a deep breath, don’t give in to a fight-or-flight mentality, and draw confidence from the fact that owning up is the right thing to do.

Be specific

“The best way to start is to be straightforward and explicit about your mistake, stating in clear, factual language what happened, and any known consequences,” says Fraser-Thill. If, for instance, you overlooked a shipment to a client and the client is now considering switching to a new vendor, you can relay that matter-of-factly, and add, “I own this mistake and understand that it’s my responsibility to deliver our client’s satisfaction. And then say how you think it should be fixed. Don’t grovel. Just show that you understand the scope of what went wrong and a way out.

Manage on both sides

One important exception: If you’re in a management role and your employee is the one who’s messed up, take responsibility. You don’t need to pretend you made the mistake yourself, but if it’s your job to manage this person, then their failure may be seen as yours, too.

“It’s the best kind of manager that says, ‘Listen, I’ll get to the bottom of this. I will understand what happened. If it was our fault, I’ll let you know and we’ll fix it,’” says Mistal. “That’s what you get paid for. That’s what management is.” Throwing an employee to the wolves isn’t just a sign of poor leadership. It can also damage the trust between you and the rest of your team.

Avoid accusatory language

If there was a communication breakdown or something else that led you down a bad path, try using “I” statements to point them out, which helps you sound less accusatory and more like you’re just trying to be genuinely helpful. For instance, “instead of saying, ‘You didn’t let me know that the turnaround time was so tight,’ you can instead make an observation like, ‘I notice that turnaround times are not always communicated clearly,’” Fraser-Thill says. Then phrase the solution to give yourself more ownership over it. In this case, you could say something like, “Going forward, I’ll be sure to ask questions so I understand the timing.”

Don’t apologize

A sincere apology can go a long way, but you should do it sparingly at work. “It can undermine your confidence if you apologize too much,” warns Mistal. Instead, try expressing your gratitude to convey a similar sentiment, which frames it in a much more positive way. “You can say thank you for understanding, thank you for your support, or thank you for correcting this,” suggests Mistal. Also: It’s annoying. Why are you apologizing when you have a problem to fix? Speaking of the problem…

Fix it

You’ve explained what happened and how you’ll do better. Now it’s time to act on it. When there’s a problem, all a manager really wants is a solution — not a long-winded explanation, not a guilt-ridden mea culpa, but a tactical plan. Execute that plan and then move on, and everyone else will, too.