The Magic of Commitment is Here to Stay
By: Marilyn Flower
Tags: Life Lessons, Education, Stand Up Comedy, Humor, Commitment

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it! ~ Goethe

It’s not like me to quit.

In fact, I have the opposite challenge. I tend to over-commit. I wrote about that here.

I’m good at signing up for the newest shiny object. When what I really need is to hold my feet to the fire and finish projects — like this round of edits on my novel.

None the less, I did a whole series for Middle-Pause about boldly or shakily doing something that scares us. I was not about to watch and wave from the sidelines without holding myself accountable to my readers. I promised to be right there with them.

That was going to be via taking a singing class.

But the next new shiny object was a stand-up comedy class at Stagebridge, a performing arts school for adults 50 and over that I attend faithfully. That’s where I’ve studied Comedia del Arte, improvisation, and, most recently, clowning. I don’t miss a semester.

So when I saw that a special guest teacher, Corey Rosen, was offering an early morning stand-up class — so early it didn’t conflict with my other zoom classes and workshops, I threw my hat in the ring and dove in.

Only problem was, four weeks into the six-week class, I still wasn’t feeling it.

I had done all the exercises, worked up material with my buddy outside of class, performed it in class, got encouragement and ideas from Corey and my mates.

But it didn’t grab me.

I was learning a heck of a lot. I even bought the textbook and dove into it, hoping to have an uptick in ideas and enthusiasm. I did develop a lot of ideas. But none of them really resonated.

When the instructions came to get vulnerable and tell a story we don’t want to tell, I did that, scouring it with a microscope for microbial bits of humor I could turn into laughs from an attempted rape.

That bombed. No surprise. Though they did suggest I share it at a storytelling event like the MOTH.

At that point, not only was I out of ideas. I was discouraged. Plus I did not have the time to catch up to my classmates who were already honing their 5-minute acts for our upcoming showcase.

I wanted to quit. I was afraid to quit.

Afraid because once I gave myself permission to quit this, what else might I bail on, just cause it got hard? I was afraid quitting on comedy when humor is my go-to thing was like quitting on myself.

And a phrase kept repeating in my head like a mantra: You can fail, but you can’t quit.

In other words, don’t worry about how good or bad my act is. Put one together with all the bits and pieces I have so far. I tried that. Nothing took off, though one idea was promising.

It was a short little bit about growing up in the military and having to move a lot. That meant making friends fast — sorta like speed dating. I wasn’t aware of it, but it was incubating somewhere in my subconscious mind.

Then yesterday morning, the full monty of my little act popped into my awareness while in the bathroom — my favorite creative factory — more or less fully formed.

I had a mini-dialogue about two girls exchanging information really fast to see if they had enough in common to be friends. Act one.

Then a bit about how I was able to influence my parents to quit smoking, but not drinking. Act two. And a third bit about opposing the war my dad was in and being arrested for so doing. Act three.

I grabbed my journal and wrote it all down before it escaped in search of a more willing partner. It was my story, all true. I would do it!

A few minutes later, I checked my email. There was one from Corey asking me to send him what I had so he could give me notes ahead of tomorrow’s class.

Quick like a bunny, I typed up my jottings and shared the Google doc with him. If I had thought about it, I might have chickened out. I had been about to cry on his shoulder about not having any stage-worthy ideas.

He loved my material.

He sent it back last night with a few edits and lots of encouragement. I had called it Marilyn’s Latest Idea. He changed the title to Marilyn’s Awesome Idea! You can do that on shared docs.

I debuted my act this morning and got more notes. I need to work on the character voices so they don’t all sound like me. Fair enough. And the kid voices need to sound like children. Right on!

This brought to mind the W. H. Murray quote I am so fond of:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

Harvesting the Magic

See that! Once I committed — which I did before I knew what I was going to do for my showcase — the magic began.

A rough idea formed itself into three to four minutes of material with a beginning, middle, and end.

And no sooner than I had scribbled that down, the teacher offered to help. Once I sent it in, before I could talk myself out of it, help was on the way — professional help at that.

My piece is funny while ringing true personally. It contains the right amount of intimacy without me feeling stripped naked.

Will I perform in our showcase on Nov. 8? You betcha! Even if I suck.

Will I take another stand-up class next year? Yesterday I would have said, hell no!

But while this is not my cup of comedy tea, lots of other formats are. I intend to keep learning and growing my shtick.

I am still free to conclude stand-up is not for me, but it won’t be ’cause I poo-pooed it. I fully embraced it, danced in the spotlight, and then gracefully bowed out.

What I can do is check it off my bucket list!