Never give it for granted
By: Joseph Emmi
Tags: Personal, Personal Growth, Writing, Personal Development, Journal

Never give it for granted

And how getting back into writing became a steep challenge for me

Over the last two and half years of writing have become something I got more serious about. From something that I knew I enjoyed, to something I realised I loved and wanted to do regularly, even for a living or an as part of it.

Because of this, I committed to it. I started doing it more and more often, to the point of turning it into a daily practice.

After that, I reached my highest peak so far; not only I started writing longer and more elaborated pieces, but it also became easier for me to do, I got confident and comfortable with the process while enjoying it. I developed a style and became able to recognise what would work or not, what was right or wrong and, I learned to know when the idea was concluded.

I learned how to beat the blocks. I learn to make peace with the fact that not every piece will be the best I will ever write, and that letting go and hitting publish was as part of the process as coming with ideas and typing the words on my computer.

That it’s better done than perfect. That publishing something is better than editing forever, but also, that editing is not only as important but at times, as hard or more than writing. I also learned that some times a long edit is not about perfectionism, not knowing how to progress or just avoidance, but my inner voice telling me there’s something else to a piece.

I learned to listen to my gut when something was right, wrong or not quite there yet.

I learned that after publishing, I would always go back and find ways to make a piece better. I also came to feel proud after about how well some of those stories or ideas were able to pass the test of time, become more relevant after a while or validate my thinking towards the future.

So? How did I find myself in this position? When and how it became so difficult? Why did I stop?

These are some of the questions I keep asking myself every time I realise I have not been writing. Every time I realise the year has passed I have not managed to create even a fraction of what I’ve done in the past, but more importantly, that the progress, mastery and skills I managed to gain, feel like it abandoned me. That it feels difficult, almost like beginning again. That idea does not seem to emerge with the same effervescence and frequency as before, and at times, when they do, it’s like I don’t know how to grasp them, knead them and turn them into words.

But here I am, trying to get back the only way I know how.

This is not about comparing myself with the things I’ve done in the past, what I’ve done, what I achieved and how much I’ve written, instead, is a reminder that I’ve done it.

That, although the only thing I seem to remember is how much did it, I’m pretty sure there’s a memory somewhere inside me, about how hard it was when I first started, many years ago, with no aspirations nor pretentions, and if that memory does not seem to exist, then it might because I never thought about writing that way. It was just about the fun, the enjoyment and the realisation of, not only that I could be good at it, the joy it brought to me, but first and foremost, about sharing ideas and putting them out there into the world.

Never give anything for granted, but also, never let it go if you really want it, because the only way to get it or keep it, is to continue doing it.

So here I go again.