this is my final draft. edited twice.
By: Gréta Ben
Tags: Artist, Writer, Portfolio, Creative Struggle, Creative Process

Why is it so hard for me to finish the last two percent of a project, written piece, or any self-initiated creative work I produce?

Is it the fear of feeling exposed, pure laziness or something deeper within creative people? Do we feel that once we release something into the real or virtual world, it’ll be open to criticism or attacks?

Starting to write this was a challenge for me, but the point of the challenge was to write and finish it within a strict 48 hour time-frame. Putting thoughts, experiences and opinions outside of my own head and sharing them seems so daunting. Do I therefore pretend this is my own TV show and commentate every word I’m writing? No… sometimes.

A couple of years back I met two friends in a beer garden of a bar. One of them was on their way to study at a renowned Arts school in Sweden, and the other was his best friend and biggest cheerleader. I asked the young man if he had an online portfolio or Instagram I could follow, or if I could see his work somewhere. A majority of his projects were living in storage, online and offline and he wasn’t ready to share. He, too, seemed to have a fear of sharing his creative work. He wasn’t his own biggest cheerleader, but his own worst critic. Sound familiar?

When he told me this, I shifted into the classic “older & wiser” gear, and told him something I wish someone had told me a few years ago. Maybe someone did, but I was too stubborn to listen to and act on it. “Put your work out there, build a portfolio, let people see how you’ve progressed, let them see your first painting and your 34th and, through that, see you grow.” His friend then exclaimed, “this is what I keep trying to tell him! He really needed to hear it!”

Is that what we need? Cheers from a different crowd once in a while?

We need to learn that we can both be the player and the crowd cheering for them.

There are so many different versions of your work that could have been shared, could have been made or written, but at the end of the day the only version is what you put out there. It ends up being the most genuine, with your human touch battling with your need for perfection. Polished creative work doesn’t necessarily tell me a story of that artist’s process, struggles, mistakes or all those different versions that came before it. Sometimes a work in progress is ready. Will something that is 90% complete make more of a difference in the real world than something that never came to life outside of your sketchbook? Of course.

A mentor during an internship once told me we needed to get something out there (a 30 second video in this case), and it would never happen if I kept trying to perfect what I was working on. There was a deadline in place, and at the end of the day I was the only one who was going to notice a tiny mistake or what could have been done better. I’m not saying paying attention to detail, putting care and craft into your work is bad. I’m only saying that it will end up consuming us to an unhealthy point. I am focusing on the creative process, not a big agency deadline with applied pressure. This lack of pressure or deadline with self-initiated projects might be the biggest hindrance for us. Sometimes sharing the behind-the-scenes is just as important as the work itself. If we want to get extra cheesy, “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”

What if you publish work you think is complete and will be praised, only to find it ripped to pieces, would that be a more devastating feeling than receiving comments and criticism on work you knew wasn’t your complete best at the time? This gives more room for growth within the time that would have been spent on “perfecting” something. I don’t believe in perfect, I believe in progress. Visible progress is something I personally admire in people.

I’ve written this as an encouragement for myself. I’ve started a project that I’m becoming more and more scared to share with the world. This is me practicing what I preached to that young man at the bar. Put it out there, be vulnerable, be open and who knows if something great will come out of it?

Creatives out there: do you relate? If not, do you have any ways to help others overcome this?

P.S. Stay tuned for that project.