Let’s Talk About “Mean Parisians”
By: Odessa Denby
Tags: Travel, Backpacking, This Happened To Me, Culture, Paris

Let’s Talk About “Mean Parisians”

Photo by Léonard Cotte on Unsplash

It started innocently enough. A friend of mine heard that I had guests visiting from France and asked me to bring them over for lunch. She was inviting some others from the community and thought it would be a good chance for everyone to mingle. The friends, a mother/daughter duo from the suburbs around Paris agreed.

“So are you from France or are you from Paris?” a neighbor, L, asked them almost immediately. A great start.

“Uh…France,” my friend replied.

“Oh good! I just hate Paris!” L exclaimed.

She went on to relate to them how everyone was just so mean and snobby in Paris and how she could never understand why people like it. New York is, after all the best city in the world and she would never waste her time with Europe again.

My friends were very gracious and agreed that things could be a little fast-paced in Paris and that people were not as friendly as Americans could be. I couldn’t help but interject that I think New York is an overrated trash-island and Paris is ten times more beautiful. I got a death glare.

The thing is, I’m not surprised that L had a bad experience in Paris.

Tourists in France

L is very loud, like many native New Yorkers. If you’re in a car with her, she can blow your eardrums with her laughing and speaking. She is a middle-aged woman of strong opinions about how things should be and what she expects from situations. She is not someone I would consider to be flexible or easy-going.

That’s not to say she’s a bad person, but she is exactly the kind of tourist who has a bad experience in Paris.

Many travelers go to France and, in particular, Paris because they have heard of the art and architecture and feel like it’s going to be a romantic daydream. They often forget that for more than 2 million people, Paris is their hometown. These people are living, working, doing laundry and taking out the trash in this city everyday and they have to navigate tens-of-thousands of tourists that pass through their city every year.

Just like cities like NYC, people can get annoyed with tourists who can’t blend and move to the rhythms of the city because they get in the way. Maybe they researched all the best museums in the city, but they may have no idea how to interact with the actual French people whose home they are visiting.

Following the Unspoken Rules

When I spent about a month traveling around France, I had been studying the language in a fairly serious way for about six months and had done a ton of research. I also spent time with French people before I embarked on this journey.

Many people warned me about the French and how mean everyone would be in Paris. Of course, most of these people didn’t even own a passport.

“You know, they hate Americans! You’re going to come home crying,” this advice was doled out by a woman who went from Pennsylvania to California once. That was the extent of her jet-setting.

“Don’t go to Paris if you’re plus size! It’s the fashion capitol of the world, you know. They are so mean to fat people.” This was from a discussion I recently saw on a plus size fashion forum.

My experience was quite different than the warnings I had been given. I was treated really well, honestly. I was 25 years old, a size 14/16 US, traveling on my own, and I didn’t really have any issues.

I certainly wasn’t up to the standard of high-fashion, but I had traveled enough to know which clothing looked more European and what made you stand out as American. So, I kept it simple and dressed to blend in. I wasn’t targeted by any tourist scams or pick-pockets. I knew that my uniform of dark jeans, a pull-over sweater, ankle boots, a colorful scarf, and a wool jacket (it was February) was successful when I had Parisians stop me in the train station to ask if I knew if the train was delayed or ask me in the supermarket if they were out of strawberries.

When I approached people, I spoke to them in French first. I also made sure to greet the employees when entering a shop or restaurant. If they offered to speak English, then we could continue that way. I had someone lend me their phone and someone help me get my luggage into the carriage of a train. People were no meaner than in New York City. They just followed a different set of etiquette and I made an effort to as well.

Red Flags to Avoid

The French are proud of their language, culture, and their cities. Just as many people from English-speaking (and other) countries are proud, so when you go to Paris, they expect you to make an effort. You are, after all, on their turf.

Here are some tips to help you avoid seeming like the kind of tourist that Parisians dread: