Ghosts of Halloweens Past — Part 3 (conclusion)
By: Karalyn Spencer
Tags: Paranormal, Halloween, Short Story, Fiction, Amwriting

Nick flopped on his bed, exhausted from the day. It was nearly three in the morning and he hadn’t been home since 10 a.m. Rose had been silent the whole walk back. Her disappointment and confusion of what happened in the cemetery weighed heavy on his heart. She was trying so hard to clear the curse and the others, spirits she considered her friends for over a century, seemed determined to stop her. Like they wanted to be cursed to wander the forgotten cemetery forever. It didn’t make sense.

“Rose? What do you think Oscar meant when he said Eddie isn’t who you think he is?” Nick asked.

Rose sighed a heavy defeated breath. “I haven’t the slightest idea.”

A message buzzed on Nick’s phone. He really didn’t want to be bothered answering it but his anxiety wouldn’t allow him to ignore it. It could be a friend who needs him. It could be work. It could be Chelsea.

“Who is messaging you so late?” Rose asked.

It was just Jamie. “My brother. He’s in a study abroad program in Australia and always forgets the time difference.” Jamie attached a picture standing in front of a large shark, being tagged and sent back in the ocean to track it’s migration pattern. A follow up text read “Can you believe this is a baby shark? Baby shark, dododododo! Tell Chelsea I say hello. Hope you guys are well back in the US of A.”

Nick clicked the screen off on his phone and tossed it aside, leaving his brother’s message on read.

“He doesn’t know about Chelsea?”

“Nope. I haven’t talked to him much and when I have it never seemed like the right time. Or I’m just a pussy that can’t admit out loud that we’re really over. The latter is more likely.” He rolled to his side, his arms wrapped around himself.

“Nick, you’re allowed to be heartbroken. What happened to you wasn’t right. It’s okay to be upset,” Rose said, gently. She knew she was treading on a sore subject.

“It’s been six months,” he said. As if there was a timeline of healing etched in stone.

“There’s no guidebook to life. Everyone’s pace is different.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” he said. Though that wasn’t entirely true. It was the first time someone had validated his feelings, made him feel comfortable with the emotions he felt. But he was too exhausted and dragging out all that baggage would only exhaust him more, and he had work in five hours.

“Well, if you ever do, you know where to find me.”

Nick chuckled and drifted off to sleep.

—

Nick strolled into the Ellsworth Inn and Spa five minutes before his shift started. His coworkers eyed him with relief, probably expecting him to be late since half the time he was. He clocked in and took over the front desk, shifting into his customer service role.

It was a Monday, with not too much going on around town or the nearby city, so he expected a slow day, which was fine by him since he had some research to do anyway.

After the overnight shift left, he settled down at the desk. He took out his phone and read a message from Erin. “Mom is coming by tomorrow for dinner. Please be there.”

He typed back. “Can’t. Working.”

And then replied to his brother from last night. “Cool shark, bro. Don’t lose any legs over there. All well and good here. Catch you later.”

Why didn’t you tell him? Rose asked.

Told you, I’m weak.

Don’t say that. You are not weak.

Nick shrugged and opened the internet browser on the desk computer. He typed in Edmund Piers 1695 to do some digging.

Tell me about Erin and Jamie. Are you close to them? Rose asked.

Mmm. Yes and no. We can go long stretches without talking but we know each other pretty well, I guess. Jamie is the adventurous one. He’s going to school for marine biology. Erin is the serious one. She’s a defense attorney. Then there is me, in the middle with a dead end job and no idea of what I actually want to do. It’s no wonder Chelsea left me.

He scrolled through some of the search results. Edmund Piers, woodworker and cabinet maker, died in 1695 from a cracked skull falling from a horse. He had been engaged to Elizabeth Brewster at the time of his death.

Does this sound accurate?

Yes. I mean, I didn’t know he was engaged, he never mentioned Elizabeth, but everything else is what he told me.

Weird. Maybe Oscar just meant he isn’t a good person? Did they not get along?

They didn’t talk all that much but they never seemed to have a problem with one another. I can’t imagine, if Eddie wasn’t a decent person, that I wouldn’t have seen some indication of it in the last hundred and fifty three years.

A couple with their two kids walked over from the staircase. Nick closed the internet and shifted back into work mode. He helped them set up transport to the nearby amusement park’s Spooktoberfest and sold them discounted tickets, smiling and speaking with confidence and ease the entire time. He was like a different person completely. When they were gone, his smile faded and he slouched back into the seat.

His phone buzzed again. Erin. “Can’t you switch your shift?”

He typed back. “No. Sorry.”

You didn’t even try, said Rose.

I’m not actually working tomorrow night. I just don’t want to see my mother.

How come?

Because she doesn’t give a flying fuck about us. It’s all a show to make herself look and feel good. When she does show up once in a blue moon all she does is make passive aggressive comments. Nothing we ever do is good enough. Erin cooked an entire meal from scratch once and all she did was complain at how she didn’t like the lumpy mashed potatoes or that the gravy was thinner than hers or the green beans were too soft. If I’m there I’ll never hear the end of how it didn’t work out with Chelsea because I’m not ambitious enough. I don’t make enough money and I’ve been in school for six years and have gotten nowhere. But Jamie, oh Jamie is the perfect child. She is so proud of Jamie and we should be more like him. Of course, all of this is slurred because she pops a fist full of only God knows what kinds of pills and starts drinking wine at 9 a.m.

Nick huffed and checked the weather for the day to distract himself. Partly cloudy with a high of 52. He smilesd and offered good mornings to a wedding party heading to the restaurant for breakfast, like he hadn’t a care or worry in the world, a 180 of how he was actually feeling. As soon as they were out of eyesight, the mask came back off.

I’m sorry, Nick, Rose offered.

It’s whatever. He checked his phone again. “So I have to deal with her by myself?” Erin’s message read.

“If you don’t want to deal with her, don’t have her over. I’m working now, can’t talk anymore,” he thumbed back.

What about your father?

Our dad left when I was five. I haven’t heard from him since I was eleven. No idea where he is or if he’s even alive still.

Oh. She didn’t know what else to say. ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t feel like enough, or feel right.

Yep. Jamie was too young to remember, thankfully. Not sure what he’d be like if he had any memories of that man. Probably more like me.

Nick plastered on his mask again as he helped a few people checking out of their rooms and answered a couple phone calls about vacancy and prices. Rose was thankful for the break so she could collect her thoughts.

Nick cut in before she could reply. I know what you’re thinking. I need therapy. And I know that I do, but the thing is, I’ve seen my mother on medication, off medication, self medicating with pills that weren’t prescribed to her, and I just don’t want to turn into that. It’s a slippery slope and I’m afraid of going down that same path. He sighed and she weighed his words. She could understand his point of view.

We come from very different worlds, Rose said. I don’t know much about therapy, since the word probably means something different now than it did in 1866, but it seems like the weight you’re carrying around inside you is too much for one person to handle. Maybe, if you explained this to your sister, what you just told me, she could help you find something that works for you.

Nick sat, fiddling with his hands and pondering Rose’s words. It was true that he never explained why he was afraid to seek therapy outside of the stigma of it. Actually, he never fully realized why himself until just now. But really, what else could they do to help him other than give him meds?

You went to Jade for hypnosis. She added. What do you have to lose by trying therapy?

I’ll think about it. He didn’t have the energy to make decisions while at work, tired and drained from the past 24 hours. He wanted something else to think about, something not about his childhood or stagnant, pitiful life. Tell me something about you. You’ve heard all my sad stories the past six months. I know nothing about you.

What do you want to know?

I guess, first, how did you die?

Oh. Well. I jumped off a bridge.

Nick stiffened. Rose was so full of life even as a spirit, it was hard to imagine her as anything else. He just couldn’t see Rose as suicidal.

I, um… How did he respond to that? Did he want to know the details?

Oh, no, no. Not like that. Rose said. Sorry, I mean everyone used to jump off that bridge. It was fun. Is it still there? The Perry Mill Bridge?

God, you jumped from that bridge? That thing is a death trap and the river isn’t that deep.

Well it was plenty deep back then. Anyway, I was walking home with my girlfriends one day and a bunch of people were jumping off, swimming. My friends warned me not to, but I didn’t listen. I loved jumping from that bridge, loved the rush it gave me on the way down. But I wasn’t dressed properly to go swimming, I still had my full dress on, and on the way down it snagged on a plank of wood. The snag didn’t hold but it turned me sideways. I was too far to the left and I hit my head on a rock that jut out from the cliff. I must’ve died before I even hit the water because I don’t remember anything after that. The next thing I knew I was staring at my body on the shore surrounded by people trying to revive me, but they couldn’t. There was nothing they could do. There was so much blood. My head was sitting in a pool of it.

Nick sat down as his head became woozy replaying Rose’s memory. His stomach churned at the gory images. He had always been squeamish when it came to blood and guts, and Rose remembered it so vividly, it was like he was there with the others staring at her dead body. His vision blurred.

Rose quickly changed her thoughts to gardens and flowers. Oh, Nick, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see that.

She took control and grabbed a bottle of water, guzzling it down. The cool water refocused his attention. His vision cleared but his head still swam with a cloudy fog. She went around the desk, taking him outside to get fresh air. She inhaled deeply as the cool autumn breeze hit their face. And again for good measure.

—

They went straight to Jade’s after Nick’s shift was over, still in his hotel uniform. She answered the door before he had a chance to knock. She had on a black fitted t-shirt today with a moon on the front and a long dark red cardigan over it paired with blue skinny jeans, black ankle boots, and a wide brim black hat.

Nick lowered his hand, still paused in the knocking position, as he walked inside, her plethora of necklaces and bracelets jangled as she led the way into the kitchen. “You’re ESP is really freaky sometimes,” he said.

“I saw your car pull up,” she said smirking.

“Oh.”

The kitchen table was covered in papers, some printed and others handwritten notes. “What is all this?” He asked, picking some up. They had names and dates written down as well as connections to other names.

“I went back to the cemetery today.”

“What? Without me-us?” he asked, a pit forming in his stomach.

She waved a hand, “It was fine, don’t worry.”

“It’s not fine,” he said, throwing the papers back down. “You saw what happened last night. You could’ve gotten hurt and no one would have even known until hours later. You could’ve died and I-” he cut off, the pit in his stomach moving to his throat.

“And you what?” she stood straight, folding her arms in front of her.

After a moment, he swallowed the frog in his throat. “And I wouldn’t know what happened to you. I would’ve come here to an empty house and been worried sick. If I found you dead in the cemetery because I wasn’t there…”

Jade’s arms relaxed by her sides, her face softened as she watched his anxiety take control, because of her. She knew this wasn’t just about her going to the cemetery alone, but he had a point. She hadn’t considered him when she had gone. She didn’t realize he cared that much about her to have this kind of reaction. She fought the urge to smile.

“I didn’t mean to worry you. I should’ve texted.” She didn’t need a man to come to her rescue, she knew more about what she was doing than he did, but she didn’t get the feeling that was what he meant. It probably would’ve been a smart idea for someone to have known where she was in case something did go wrong. People didn’t go walking through that cemetery every day. Well, except Nick.

He nodded and fidgeted with his hands. She walked over and placed her hand on his, calming them. “I found some cool stuff. Could help us.”

He nodded and sat beside her at the table. She handed him a cup of tea she had prepared just before his arrival. “So you did know I was coming,” he said.

She shrugged and tilted her head. “Maybe,” she said, smirking.

The edges of his mouth lifted into a slight grin as he sipped at the tea.

Jade explained that when she did more digging into Abigail Hart’s story, she discovered that during her torture, she had outted several others as witches. Most of them were acquitted, all but two, Sarah Bishop and Millicent Bishop. Their tombs were only twenty feet from Abigail’s.

“I think that’s why Abigail didn’t want to help us, why she said she can’t and that it’ll only come back. I don’t think she was the one who placed the curse. If I’m right, it could have been either Sarah or Millicent. They could have cursed Abigail for ratting them out.”

“How could this help us?” Nick asked.

“Well,” Jade went on, “If this theory is correct, then it’s a different kind of curse, and Rose’s friend Eddie would be right, only the one that placed it can remove it.” Jade watched as the light faded from Nick’s eyes. Rose’s soul broke into dozens of pieces, a century’s worth of hope crushed in mere seconds. The despair she made him feel was unbearable.

His head fell into his hands, tears streaming down his face as Rose’s soul cried. She tried so hard for so long. She had never given up. But now, to hear that the only person who could break the curse was dead, that Eddie and the others were right all along, there was no hope for them…

“No, Rose, don’t cry,” Jade said. “It’s not over yet. I have an idea.”

—

Both Rose and Nick hated the new plan. It was only 6:00 p.m. but it was already getting dark and the full moon was rising into the sky. After arguing back and forth for two hours, they hadn’t come up with a better plan, so they were going with Jade’s. This was the best time to break an ancient curse — Samhain was near, the planets were aligned, a full moon was out. The cemetery’s energy was practically vibrating.

“I can see them, Rose,” Jade said, looking around at the spirits wandering about, watching them past by. “I’ve never been able to see them before.” The energy was undeniable now.

Rose strode over to the tombs of Sarah and Millicent. She stood for a moment, pondering if she really wanted to do this. Jade was taking a huge risk in her plan for someone she barely knew. She felt wrong for asking such a tall task. But Jade had insisted, and she trusted that she knew what she was doing.

Nick cleared his throat and called for Sarah and Millicent. When there was no answer, they called again and again. They asked about the curse even though there was no reply. When Jade joined their side, she placed a hand on the side of Millicent’s tomb. She felt nothing.

“I don’t think they’re here,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. “Maybe I was wrong.”

“Those girls haven’t been here for centuries,” Margaret said. Rose turned towards her, Jade’s gaze followed. “Look at the dates.”

Rose turned back. Sarah and Millicent had been buried in April of 1692, while Abigail was buried in May. Their souls had moved on before the curse. Rose had never been happier for Jade to have been wrong.

“That means we can still break it ourselves, right?” she asked, with a renewed hope.

“No,” a voice said. Abigail rose from her tomb. “Only the one who placed it can.”

Rose pleaded with Abigail. “Will you help us? Will you break the curse?” She relayed the plan to use Jade’s body as a vessel. Abigail would temporarily possess Jade, break the curse, and then, with Nick’s help, would expel Abigail’s soul back out, freeing them to cross over again.

Abigail listened but shook her head. “I can’t help you.”

“But why?”

“She’s not the one who placed the curse.” A spirit appeared by the tomb, the same one that was wandering around Rose’s headstone the night before.

“Who are you?” Rose asked.

“Edmund Piers,” he said. The wind picked up and the lamps along the footpath flickered. Abigail retreated back into her tomb.

Rose took a step back. “You’re not Edmund Piers.”

“Oh, I assure you, ma’am, I am. And the one you’ve been looking for has been right in front of you the whole time.”

“Rose, what’s happening?” Jade asked.

The wind grew stronger and Rose turned as a spirit emerged from the nearby tomb. Buried beside Sarah Bishop was her husband, Edward Bishop, who died in May 1692.

“Boy, I am just surrounded by rats,” Eddie said. “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you, Rose?”

Rose was stunned speechless. “Eddie? You’re…you’re…”

“Not Edmund Piers? No. I’m Edward Bishop. Husband to Sarah Bishop, brother to Millicent Bishop. Placer of the horrible curse you’ve been so determined to break. Yes, congratulations, you figured it out.”

“Shit.” Jade had missed that bit of information. The majority of witches were women, she hadn’t even considered Sarah’s husband to have been involved, overlooking the dates he died entirely.

Eddie laughed, sending shivers through Jade and Nick. “What will you do now that you know the truth? Hmm? Plead with me to take it away? I won’t. I’m sorry you got caught in the crossfire, Rose, I really am, but that conniving bitch got what she deserves and she will suffer the consequences of what she did.”

“What did she do?” Nick said, jumping to the forefront, taking control of his body. “What was so horrible that she deserves to be punished for eternity? She gave up some names? She was being tortured! Give the woman a break. Anyone would crack from that.”

“My wife was innocent!” Eddie roared. The trees shook from the energy he was producing. “She wasn’t a witch. I was! And I never used black magic on those kids or anyone. We used our magic to heal. I was a doctor. I saved countless lives including Abigail’s. And she betrayed us.”

“I’m sorry!” Abigail wailed. She had re-emerged from her tomb, her face twisted as if she were crying. “I was starved and sleep deprived. I didn’t even know I had said any names. I was delirious. Eddie, I’m sorry. Sarah was my best friend. If I could take it back I would.”

“Best friend? Some best friend you are. She was pregnant, Abigail! You took everything from me so I took everything from you.”

Abigail shrank back, covering her face in grief. Nick’s heart dropped. He took Jade’s hand and pulled her close behind him. Maybe this plan was a bad idea. Eddie was consumed by grief and anger. Who knows the damage he could do in a physical body again.

“I understand your pain, Eddie,” Nick said. “It wasn’t fair or right what happened to Sarah, or Millicent, or you. But it also wasn’t fair for what happened to Abigail. Those people, they didn’t understand you, they feared your magic and did unspeakable things because of that fear. But those people, they’re long gone. It’s been 300 years.”

Eddie looked around at Abigail, crouched beside her tomb. He looked at Rose, and Margaret, Oscar, Emily, William, and Edmund, all of the spirits he had trapped here.

“How did you die, Eddie?” Jade asked, stepping forward.

Eddie blinked and his face twisted. The wind died down but the air chilled enough that Jade and Nick could see their breath and shivered. “Sarah!” Eddie cried. “My Sarah. She was the light of my life. She made the world so bright. When she was taken from me…” He roared a soul-crushing cry that made Nick ache with his own grief. He knew how Eddie felt, he had lived it not long ago. “I just wanted the pain to stop.”

Eddie didn’t have to say anything else for Nick to understand. After cursing Abigail, he had killed himself, and he blamed her for that, too. “You still feel it,” Nick said. “After all these years, you still feel the pain.”

Eddie nodded. “I thought the pain would die with my body. But it’s still with me. Every day it reminds me of what I’ve lost. It never lets me forget.” The last sentence was spit through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.

Nick stepped forward again, closing the gap between him and Eddie inch by inch. “It’s still with you because you’re still holding on to the past. You didn’t just curse Abigail, you also cursed yourself. The only way to end the pain is to move on, and the only way to move on is to forgive her, forgive the past, and break the curse.”

Nick reached out his arm, and before Rose realized what he was doing, she was too late to stop him. Nick, no! She was catapulted from his body. Her world went black for a moment and she was staring at Nick again, standing before him, back in her spirit form.

“Nick!” Jade shouted.

He staggered and swayed, looking at his arms as though they were foreign to him. Eddie’s spirit was no longer visible but they could see the change in Nick’s eyes as Eddie’s spirit took over control.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked.

“I’m helping you,” Nick said. Both Rose and Jade were relieved to hear Nick’s normal voice, it meant his soul was still strong enough to keep control of his body. “You have two options,” he continued, “You can let go of the past and move forward or exist in pain for eternity. The choice is up to you.”

Rose and Jade met eyes. This was not part of the plan. They were both terrified and impressed with how Nick was handling this. But Eddie was consumed by grief and anger, and now he had a physical body.

Eddie whirled, looking around wildly. The other spirits had moved closer, their eyes narrowing on him.

“I don’t think you’ll want to stay, Eddie, now that we know the truth,” said Margaret. They’d been here long enough and though spirits couldn’t hurt each other, they could make their existence hell.

Rose stepped forward with sympathy in her eyes. He had been her friend over a hundred years and she’d never known how much his past tormented him. Nick’s face twisted as Eddie looked at her, his lies and deceit bubbling into an overwhelming shame.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he said, Nick’s voice breaking. Emotion was heightened in physical form and Eddie hadn’t been a living human for three centuries. Overwhelming was an understatement when you were no longer accustomed to feeling, truly feeling. “I couldn’t just let it go.”

“It’s okay,” Rose said, softly. “But I think the sentence has been paid. Be with Sarah, Eddie. I’m sure she’s been waiting for you.”

He melted into a sob but shook Nick’s head. Jade took out her spell book and handed it over, opened to the page of the curse reverse. He took one last look at Rose. “Please forgive me,” he whispered.

“I do,” she said, nodding. “I forgive you.”

Eddie took a large breath, steadied himself, and began to read.

—

It went eerily quiet in the graveyard. The wind died, the clouds stopped moving, time itself halted. Nick and Eddie spun around slowly, surveying the stillness. Jade didn’t blink, all the spirits seemed like statues plastered to the ground. “What’s happening?” Nick asked. Eddie had no answer, but before he could say anything, time resumed and Jade hurried over to Nick’s side.

“Did it work?” Nick asked, to Jade, to Eddie, to anyone that could sense it.

“I…I don’t know,” Eddie answered. Nothing looked or felt different. Other than that strange freeze in time, nothing seemed to have happened at all.

Jade placed her hand on Abigail’s tomb. “I don’t feel it anymore.” She shared a glance with Nick, and then with Rose.

If the curse was lifted, why were they still here?

Eddie closed the book, his head bent low. “I’m sorry. Maybe it’s too late for us.”

With a gentle tickle under Nick’s chin, Rose motioned for Eddie to look at her. “Don’t be discouraged yet. You did your best. Maybe it just takes some time.”

Jade took the book back from Eddie and held out a satchel of herbs in her palm. “Ready?” she asked.

Both Nick and Eddie nodded their head. Jade lit the satchel on fire and chanted a spell. The scent of sage, rosemary and thyme surrounded them and Nick’s world went black.

—

When Nick came to, his breath caught. He was staring up at Jade’s bright purple hair, illuminated slightly by the moonlight cascading through the tree branches. The light made a halo around her wide brimmed hat. She looked like an angel.

“Am I dead?” he asked.

“No, but you might’ve passed out for a minute,” Jade said, sitting back on her knees.

Nick slowly raised himself up onto his elbows. Eddie’s spirit was slumped against the side of his own tomb, looking defeated and lost.

Rose knelt beside Jade and Nick and smiled. “That was incredibly brave, Nick.”

Nick shrugged, “Well, I have you to thank for that.”

Her eyebrows lifted, her hand pressed gently to her chest. “Me?”

Nick nodded. “I figured he’d be more likely to break the curse if he felt understood. You showed me what being understood feels like. And maybe a little of your impulsiveness rubbed off on me,” he shrugged. Rose giggled.

Nick held out his hand, letting it linger just above Rose’s. She lifted hers, grazing her fingers across Nick’s. A chill ran up his arm, making his hairs stand on end and bumps rise against his skin, but that was all he felt. A faint whisper of a touch, a passing chill. His heart ached. He had never known her when she was alive, had never felt her hand in his, but their souls had been intertwined sharing a body for the past 48 hours. Being without her now felt strange and…lonely.

“Rose,” Jade motioned to further into the graveyard where the moonlight beamed down, bright and concentrated. At first it was a small sliver but it grew and grew until it looked like a grand archway of light.

Rose stood, gaping in awe. The other spirits wandered towards it and disappeared into the light. They had done it. The curse really was broken, and they could cross over, finally.

“Eddie!” she shouted, beaming with the widest grin. He looked up and over, standing slowly as realization set in.

Rose turned towards Nick and Jade, her eyes shimmering. If she was human they would’ve been filled with tears. “Thank you, both,” she said, her voice wavering. “I couldn’t have done it without you. I am so grateful.”

“Thank you, Rose, for accidentally possessing me,” Nick said. Rose giggled again, but they both knew he was serious. He was happy to help her move on, but he would miss her, really, really miss her, and he told her so. She knew already, because she would miss him, too.

They walked towards the archway and it seemed like hours before they reached it. Nick both wanted her to go, be happy and free, and wanted her to stay. Rose both wanted to stay and wanted to begin a new life in a new body. This is what she had wanted from the start but it was hard to ignore the ache that missing Nick would leave behind.

They just stared at each other, memorizing each other’s face, each word they had spoken to each other, every shared moment of laughter until it became too much.

“Go,” Nick said, “In case there is a time limit on this thing.”

She looked back at Eddie standing at the edge of the light. A voice rang from the other side. “Eddie, Eddie.”

Eddie smiled, “It’s Sarah,” he said, his eyes shimmering bright, “she waited.”

She turned back to Nick. “Goodbye, Nick Foster. Be well.”

“Goodbye, Rose Goodwin. I hope we meet again someday.”

Rose smiled and headed towards the light. She watched as Eddie crossed over to be reunited with Sarah for the first time in over 300 years. Taking one last look back at Nick and Jade, she stepped into the archway and disappeared.

The beam of light shrunk and vanished into thin air, as though it had never been there at all.

—

“So what brings you here, Mr. Foster?” Dr. Amy Steifvater said.

Nick fidgeted with his hands in the armchair across from her. She held a notepad on her lap, and her loose curls were neatly tucked back into a clip. Her demeanor was warm, approachable, and confident. He felt comfortable enough talking to her, he just didn’t know where to start.

“Well, recently I lost my friend Rose,” he said, flexing his hands and placing them palm side down onto his legs, attempting to keep them calm.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Were you two close?” she said, scribbling a quick note on her pad.

“I hadn’t known her long but we did grow fairly close pretty quickly,” he tapped his leg, then stopped when he realized.

“Was she a romantic partner or interest?”

“No, no, nothing like that. But because of her I met my current girlfriend, Jade. Well, I’d met her before but I saw her again because of Rose. I wouldn’t have otherwise. Anyway,” we waved away his tangent, “I’ve had anxiety for…well as long as I can remember. And Rose made me realize how much it was holding me back from living my life. So, that’s why I’m here.”

“Okay. Well, I’m glad you’re here. If you’d like we can start from the beginning?”

Nick closed his eyes and let go of the emotion he had been burying for twenty five years. He brought up memories of his mother berating him, her throwing dishes at his father during arguments, his father leaving, crying himself to sleep when he felt like it was his fault his father left. He remembered when his sister told him his best friend was dead, killed in a car accident by a drunk driver at sixteen. His teachers telling him he would never amount to anything if he didn’t try harder when he was putting in his all, his boss telling him he was a piece of shit when he made a mistake, walking in on Chelsea wrapped up with another man on the day he was going to ask her to marry him.

He became a mess, a blubbering mess at that, but he finally started talking.