fabiochiu/medium-articles huggingface dataset:
I told sunset about you~ why I’m able to connect with a drama for the first time.
Tags: Bl Dramas, Feelings, I Told Sunset About You, Thai Dramas, Love

Love.

Love is difficult to understand, yet alone capture it on a screen.

Not everyone understands the consequences and pain that comes with it.

The confusion, distrust and hurt;

How anxiety inducing it can be;

The years it takes to build;

The questioning.

Its a long ass rollercoaster.

Not all of us can handle it.

Maybe not even myself, as I’ve been avoiding it.

Maybe i am a coward.

So far I have just finished Ep 4.

I know a lot of us probably hate or feel bad for Teh at the moment.

That part where he told Oh Aew that they were friends, and that he’s sorry, even though he knew what he was feeling. Were you guys cursing him then? I was, for a minute.

But then i stopped and understood, why i hated him so much then.

He’s just like me.

Shying away, running away and fearing these feelings he has. Not understanding them; confusion.

I myself am going through this. My relationship isn’t a romantic one though, its between a soulmate of mine. I cant return any love she gives, i feel so cold.

And i don’t know why.

Just like Teh.

I thought these feelings would be difficult to understand, yet alone capture. It looks like it is just plain and simple: Love, which isn’t simple by the way.

After that, when he broke down due to the fact that he just couldn’t, my heart ached for him.

I have never, never in my life has i felt anything through a drama/movie/show, i don’t cry much.

but for Teh, my heart ached for him. i didn’t hate him anymore;

because then I’d be hating myself.

Following this, when Oh Aew started to ask “What did i do wrong?” “What have i done? You feel this too”

I got so scared man. He’s asking the right questions. But it isn’t you Oh Aew darling, its Teh. Its him. He’s confused right now. He needs time to figure out how he feels, or at least feel distracted for a while.

Which is why i love that they led all the way up to the Uni Confirmation day, they gave time, and they haven’t reconciled yet.

I’ll update when i watch episode 5,

I’m curious to see how they will work it out, maybe i can apply it to my own situation, if I’m brave enough.
You need to break in order be
By: Busola Adara
Tags: Depression, Feelings, Spoken Word, Sadness, Broken

You need to be sad to understand the feeling of happiness.

You need to want to appreciate abundance.

You need to wait to grasp the importance of your accomplishment.

You need to toil in order to have a fruitful land.

You need to experience being poor to enjoy the gift of wealth to it’s fullest.

You need the experience of infertility to scream at the top of your lung and cry for nights straight even years after conceiving your own.

You need to experience to develop empathy

You need to experience the loss of a loved one to develop the need to cherish like there’s no tomorrow

You need the pressure to have a diamond

You need to have endless nights bawling your eyes out in a lonely dark room, to understand what a privilege it is to walk feeling the sun on your skin holding the ones you love.

You need to fail and face it head on to truly be a conqueror.

You need to have been crushed by the world and revived by God, to understand His awesomeness.

You need to break in order to be you
uncontrolled feelings
By: Helena Pöschl
Tags: Uncontrolled Feelings, Feelings, Missunderstood, Emotions

Most of the time you fell like everythings fine and you are happy aren't you? You doubt yourself and the things you do you ask yourself “is this really what i wanna do?” Sometimes you sit in bed and just think about your life and things you could have made better. You think about the people who love you but while you sitting there you start to doubt yourself. Do people really love me? Do they really enjoy spending time with me? Are they happy around me? And while you are just trying to understand everything someone comes into your room and destroys all your thoughts. You try to help this person out you try your best not to get angry because they interrupted you. But when they slightly doubt you you get angry you dont show them your angriness you try to stay calm and friendly. After they leave you feel this whole inside you you start doubting yourself again and again and again. You notice all the things that you could have handled better and you start crying. You feel like you´re making everything wrong. After a while you remember who you are and your pride and you stop crying. Was this just a lack of emotions? Why do i always cry when I'm alone? This kind of people try to act though and strong on the outside but they are have a very soft spot on the inside. If you are dealing with uncontrolled feelings or emotions like me i can only recommend you one thing.
HELLO, THIS IS MY FIRST STORY.
By: Blissful Life
Tags: Disruption, Feelings, Forgiveness, Mental Health

HELLO, THIS IS MY FIRST STORY. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT FORGIVENESS. FIRST WE NEED A PROBLEM; BECAUSE WITHOUT A MAJOR PROBLEM THEN THEIR IS NO REASON FOR FORGIVENESS. OFTEN THINGS GO UNSAID, AND THE PROBLEM PASSES YOU BY. BUT FOR SOME IT DOESN’T. IT LINGERS AROUND, AND STAYS IN YOUR MIND 24/7.

AS A EXAMPLE LETS SAY YOU’RE BEST FRIEND OR PARTNER DECIDES TO DISAPPEAR IN YOUR LIFE, WHAT DO YOU DO? ILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD’NT. YOU SHOULD NOT LET YOUR SADNESS, RAGE, AND ANY OTHER EMOTIONS BOTTLE UP. ITS OK TO CRY!!! SOMETIMES CRYING IS GOOD FOR YOU, IT ALLOWS YOU TO RELEASE ALL OF THE TENSION YOU’VE BEEN FEELING. BUT YOU CANT YET GET OVER IT? MAYBE YOU DONT WANT TO FORGIVE THE PERSON OR THE PARTNER. IT CAN LEAVE YOU EMPTY OF DEPRESSED.

THINK OF FORGIVING. ITS MORE ABOUT YOU THEN THE OTHER PERSON. IT ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE ALL OF THAT HATE, AND SADNESS AWAY. IT GIVES YOU A SENSE OF RELEASE. YOU WONT FEEL AS ANGRY OR YOUR LIFE WONT FEEL AS DISRUPT. Its gives you a new start. Its good to forgive, but not to forget. Dont ever forget, when forgetting it can happen again and again. But when forgiving you give the person a new start, but not a new chance. To forgive is the key to peace.
Monday, 21 December 2020
Tags: Students, Feelings, Depression, Anxiety

Monday, 21 December 2020

I woke up. I couldn’t fall back to sleep. But I know I will sleep later and I don’t that. I’m still trying to get over that I had a rough semester at UC Berkeley. It’s also my last full day in California. Tomorrow I leave to Mexico City. I want to forget. Forget my life here for a bit and get distracted.

I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, my mediocre semester, anxiety, depression, family problems, caring too much, or the overthinking of existentialism. I feel so unproductive and unmotivated. I don’t know where is this feeling is coming from?
When you don’t know what to do
By: Sid Berry
Tags: Friendship, Honesty, Feelings, Communication, Expression

Photo by Nigel Tadyanehondo on Unsplash

Okay, so more often than not — we as humans know what to do and would prefer to keep things nice and clear. It is the right goal to strive for, after all when the world is moving towards an ever-evolving playground of complex conditions like C-19, economic swings, travel restrictions, limited public gatherings, and finding a safe career option when people are just trying to keep the ship afloat for themselves and their families.

You should really be proud of yourself that you have come this far, through better & worse, and continue to look for ways to have a sustainable & fulfilling life. Maybe you have a checklist of your own that you follow daily or a set of rituals & prayers that help you keep calm & going. But sometimes, no matter what we do — things do not seem to go or work quite well for us. And that is when you have the question — “what do I do when you don’t know what to do”.

So, interestingly I was a similar situation a while back ago and for all that I can say — I did not really want to be there, well actually I never thought I would have to deal with an evening like this as — I was always a person of plans & actions and clear priorities. What triggered that helplessness was a sense of loneliness somewhere and despite wise efforts of going for a walk, running, biking, singing, and reading — nothing really helped out.

And then something did — I was fortunate enough to find someone who I could confide to. Just sitting there and talking openly about how I was feeling did all the magic and soon I was my best self ever.

So to summarise in the words of Misty Copeland, “Anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you”. The point to go to from nowhere is the point of communication and do it with so much honesty as if those were to be your last words. See most of the time people do communicate and talk about a lot of things, but how often do we get to talk about things that would really mean a lot to us. Maybe you are waiting for the next person to ask the right questions so that you can finally talk about those things that are burning inside you.

Photo by Joshua Sukoff on Unsplash

But know this, the longer you wait — the more time you will end living in that limited horizons bubble. So be the person who can stand up, go out there, find someone to talk to, and then openly talk about things you feel in the core of your heart at that moment. After all, feelings are reflections of how you are on the inside.
Mom, I’m scared of telling you everything.
Tags: Afghan, Moms, Feelings, Love, Mothers Day

Mum, you worry too much and it scares me. I remember when I was a kid I would run to you and tell you all my problems but growing up was this bitter realisation then you cannot fix all my problems anymore

so I started swallowing my problems. started avoiding coughing on the phone so you don’t think I’m not well. I started telling you that I’m fine, even though the world around me was crashing

mom how do I tell you that on some nights I feel so terribly alone? how do I tell you that I miss you more than I should on some days? how do I tell you that I’m a stupid person who’s crying every time when I’m missing you especially nights, 2,3 and sometimes 4 am is my favourite for crying? you didn’t raise me like this

well it’s not like I just want to hide these things from you. it’s just that you worry too much and I don’t want my problems to bother you. trust me mum I can take care of myself.

mom for 12 years you ensure that I reach school on time. I never bothered about the clean uniform until I came to this new city and realised that doing laundry is a really irritating task. what you have done enough for me now I want you to live for yourself

I want you to be happy, I don’t want my problems to bother you anymore. mum trust me I can manage, you have raised me well

also my problems aren’t really so big on most days. it’s just me doing stupid shits and putting myself in trouble. you know I’m clumsy, I make mistakes but you have raised a fighter mom

It’s time for you to put yourself first. It’s time for you to do things that you have wanted. mom, it’s time for you to stop worrying about me and this is why I hide things from you. I have to mom because I know if I don’t you will keep worrying about me. you will call me five times a day just to check up on me if I’m having mild fever. while it’s nice to have someone like this by your side but I feel guilty sometimes I feel guilty of putting you through so much

I know I’m not the perfect kid but mom I am trying my best and on some days I failed on some nights I break inside but there are days when everything seems fine

so this is it, mom, I don’t want to hide anything from you. I’m still the kid who wants to come to you and tell you all his problems. but now I’m also the kid who wants you to be happy, you have made me smile every time and I will cry as a kid.

now it’s my turn to make you smile more. I know I can do it. I love you mum.
Am I lost?
By: Imogen Cobbold
Tags: Society, Lost, Feelings

Am I lost?

I look at my reflection and don’t know who I am.

I see people who know me but they don’t know my true self.

How do you differentiate the person you have to be from the person you really are.

You become lost in a sea of society sweeping you further out in the riptide, the more you drift the more you lose yourself.

You have become a follower.

Just like that as quickly as you wanted to be your own person you look around to find you are just a version of someone else. You are living in borrowed time. In a borrowed life.
Should I Confess My Feelings To Her? Notice This!
By: Taylor Shaw
Tags: Relationships, Confessions, Feelings, Falling In Love, Love

Should I confess my feelings to her?” or “What is the best way to show a woman that I like her?” — These questions come up again and again in the comments and emails I receive.

The big mistake here is that many men think they will trigger feelings in the woman if they confess their own feelings to her. In most cases, such a confession only drives the woman further away from the man, even if she first had tender feelings for him!

Why is that?

Basically, you cannot awaken feelings in a woman if there is no basis! If she has only seen you as a good friend for years or if you are one of her admirers, it will be difficult or even impossible.

Nor can you trigger feelings in her by confronting her with your feelings. We only believe this because Hollywood films and fairy tales always tell us so!

This means that before you tell a woman that you like or love her, you should be pretty sure that she likes you a lot!

So what can you do if you are in love and want to awaken or strengthen feelings in a woman?
why?
By: That Sad Bitch
Tags: Feelings, Mentalhealth, Emotions, Why

why?

why do i feel this way?

why do i feel alone when people are around me ?

why do i feel like i have no one to talk to?

why do people think they know me?

why do i have to pretend like i’m happy?

why do people not take me seriously?

i cry all the time but all alone.

i have to deal with everything on my own.

i have so many questions but no answers.

just why ?
Some days you want to be the sun Everyone sees, everyone feels, You just want to be the bright orb…
Tags: Mood, Life, Emotions, Self, Feelings

Some days you want to be the sun

Everyone sees, everyone feels,

You just want to be the bright orb that people solemnly depend on for life.

You want people to appreciate you, no matter how harsh you are or how mild you can be.

You want to be the centre of the universe

The centre of all life forms.

You want to be unescapble, unignorable and all knowing.

.

Some days you want to be the moon

Depending on the suns light to shine

You want to be there but not everywhere

You want to be seen,smiled at and then ignored

Or rather not seen at all

You want to be inbetween the white clouds sometimes or the grey ones when you want to cry

.

Some days you want to be the wind

You want to rage and move as unseen

Or spark other agents and use them to fool

You want to scream at the moving humans , scare them into the walls, be a bully.

You want to let them feel you.

You want to be inbetween the trees, make them bow to your omnipresence.

You want to be the flow, in rhythm and harmony.

.

Some days might be all days,

Some days might be no day,

Some days might never exist,

As the sought for accordance with ones soul and body is a fight for all.
Get Out
By: E.K. Spencer
Tags: Poetry, Journal, Feeling, Poetry Writing, Writing

I write it out on paper

I write it out

I need to get it out

I can’t bear to have it in me anymore

These thoughts,

Strangle, consume

Please

Please let them out

Escape through my pen

I can not take it anymore
Some friendships are more cosmic than others, here's how.
Tags: 2020, Friendship, Feelings, Connection, Growth

With the holiday season just around the corner, I had some time to reflect upon what makes certain gatherings more special than others. Despite being (thankfully) alive in 2020, most of us are not getting the opportunity to mingle with others, some of us are arranging Zoom gatherings, others are trying to get by with the minimum number of allowed visitors, and some are totally isolated. Be it as it may, it's not easy to accept that the coming 2 weeks will be different than the usual. But there's a deep comfort when one remembers that human connection is the only thing that kept us all sane during this rollercoaster year. Some people developed stronger friendships as they got more in touch with their spirituality and went inside. Conversations blossomed. They glittered and shone. And as I witnessed relationships growing stronger in my own personal life, I got inspired one evening to write about those special nights.

What you're about to read is a piece I wrote in nostalgia ✨
Hurt v. Harm
By: Tessa T
Tags: Recovery, Feelings, Self Improvement, Hurt, Selfharming

** WARNING: Mentions of self-harm (nothing graphic) **

She didn't know why she still did it.

When she first started, it was a release, a way to be destructive without permanent damage. It wasn't like she was doing anything bad— not really. The marks would fade by the next morning, never making her bleed or scab.

Not at the beginning, anyways. She didn't want to damage herself any further— God knew she was broken enough.

But, she wasn't looking for blood or cuts. She just wanted to lash out and there was only one way to do that without hurting other people. It wasn't like that. It wasn't really hurting herself, because it wasn't scarring, for the most part.

She met a boy, her second year in High School. He was a friend of a friend who turned into a best friend and for a short while an awkward crush. They fought too much and deep down, she knew he would pick everyone else over her, but she still let herself trust him, fall for him, care about him. She had seen every time that he would put her last, but she still let him back. Every time.

Because, he could be good, sometimes. Twice— in nearly a full year of friendship —they had sat between the lockers during lunch and talked the whole period. The first time was about him, after a break-up that didn't last. The second was about her.

They talked about her parents and work and school and how so much of the time she felt like she was trapped and how sometimes it became so much that all she could do was blast heavy metal and hurt herself in the bathroom.

He told her it was worse than she thought. He was the first person to tell her that it was painful and more than what she thought. She wasn't stuck at the starting point, hovering between self-harm and attention-seeking. She was hurting herself deeply and fully.

She stopped, for a while. She always does and always tries to push it from her mind— that urge. It's inexplicable and unbelievably complicated, but it always comes when she's unoccupied. The boy let her down, like everyone eventually does, and that urge came back, more strong. It was the weekend and nighttime— nobody would see her arms until after they were healed.

She understood smokers once she tried to stop with it all. It was a hard urge to push past and she had underestimated her strength. She was too much like her father and brother— she felt weak and pointless.

But, she didn't know why she couldn't stop. Even after three years, she couldn't— not fully. Sometimes, she'd slip just because she was bored. Other times, the sky would start falling and the only way to stop clouds from crushing people was the resort to the sharper tools in her art bag. It was random and annoying and consuming, but it wasn't unbearable. If she really wanted, she could push past it.

She didn’t know why she still did it.
Maybe Love is just listening to someone talking about how bad their day was. Maybe love is texting someone to make sure they have reached home safely. Maybe love is your friend teaching you important…
By: Wasi Khan
Tags: Effort, Care, Feelings, Relaionships, Love

Maybe love isn’t what they say.

Maybe Love is just listening to someone talking about how bad their day was.

Maybe love is texting someone to make sure they have reached home safely.

Maybe love is your friend teaching you important stuff just before your exam.

Maybe love is them taking unlimited pictures of you without getting impatient.

Maybe love is that extra tissue you keep in your pocket just in case any one needs it.
Hidden feelings
By: My Thoughts
Tags: Feelings, How I Feel, I Just Wanna Be Okay, Hidden

Hidden feelings

Feelings can be expressed, especially the ones easy to spill out, but sometimes words don’t form and all you just say is IT’S FINE and IT’S OKAY!

Even when all you feel is emptiness with undefined emotions, shallow and hollow feelings you can’t even explain, you just say, it’s fine, i mean it’s okay!

It’s funny how it sounds, you say you’re fine with it or you’re okay with whatever, but then all you feel is nothing. You just want them to feel okay and not worry too much about things you don’t even explain.

We think differently,I mean not everyone is ready to understand, so they just call you names like, a pretender, a snob, a rude introvert, a heartless soul and many more you just brush off and make sure IT’S FINE and IT’S OKAY!

You try so hard not to look like the overthinker you are, not to look depressed and sad, not to look too problematic, pathetic and anti-social, so you live with it and just accept everything and before you realize no one sees the pain, you’d have gotten used to repeating the same words each and everyday (IT’S OKAY, IT’S FINE). Because it either makes you okay or it doesn’t, you just need to keep faking it and fighting it to move on.

“Sometimes I just want to stop lurking around and start looking around”.

Getting choked by feelings I can’t share has become a usual routine and it keeps preventing me from looking around,all I still do is lurk around.
The Analogy of Love
By: Aliasger Yusuf
Tags: Romance, Joy, Feelings, Poetry, Love

The Analogy of Love

Photo by Krishh on Unsplash

Love is a lily

that blooms to give joy

Love is a pause

that helps you repose

many thoughts flood my mind

when I think of Love

why shouldn’t be?

Love is so kind

that it makes

me forget & forgive

Love is a blessing

for all those who receive it

do not take this boon lightly

instead, cherish it

you will feel elated

you will become a lily

that blooms to give joy

© Aliasger Yusuf all right reserved

Ali Yusuf is a content specialist who deals in words so that you can crack every deal. Hire him to get error-free, stylistic, timely, targeted content that speedily increases your SEO and social media visibility at competitive rates.

Read more of Ali Yusuf’s articles on Digital Marketing at contentsculptor.com
Feel The Fear
By: Jessica Brant
Tags: Self, Feelings, Song Lyrics, Fear

the only way out is through

person sitting on couch by Pixabay

Sitting in the middle of a room

Overhead my problems float and loom

Filling me with strongest sense of doom

All alone yet crowded in this room

Feel the fear

Feel the fear

Forest Photography by Francesco Unagro

Scanning frantically for an escape

Contort to fit into any shape

Wishing I could find my hero’s cape

Only I can break out and escape

Feel the fear

Feel the fear

It’s lonely in here

Feel the fear

four rock formation by nicollazzi xiong

The easy way out leaves me shaking to my core

The more that I run the more I’m hiding, what for?

Will I be denied?

Or can I confide, in me?

Feel the fear

Feel the fear
I’m still here
By: Cameron Stumpf
Tags: Imperfect, Feelings, Growth, Writing

The other night, I felt energized. I felt creative. I felt hopeful. I was excited and everything seemed to buzz just a little. So I published for the first time in literal years and it felt great.

Wouldn’t it be nice if that feeling persisted all the time?

Now, only days later, I’m feeling tired and discouraged. Sure, I am excited about a lot of things and ideas. But I’m not feeling excited about writing here. On one level, I’m surprised. I truly expected to continue feeling excited. On another level, I’m not surprised. And I’m surprised I was surprised.

A few things stand out. One, I got two views on that story and ZERO reads. As I wrote it, I was thinking “if no one reads this, that is okay because this was for me.” In fact, I think I even wrote that. But when it came down to it, and that reality set it, I found myself disappointed. I wasn’t as “strong” as I thought I’d be.

But what if strength is really continuing to do it anyway?

I was wrong. Cool. I learned from that and I can reorient and I’m sure I’ll be wrong again and that’s okay. And I will continue writing on here as an exercise in strength. I might want the reads and the engagement. But I don’t need it. In fact, I’ll probably gain so much more by leaning into this uncomfortable, lonely, disappointing space and saying “this is okay.” I think that doing so shows more strength than if it were easy and fun. At this moment, it’s not fun. But it can be formational.

Another thing stands out: feelings aren’t forever. It took me a long time to learn this and it’s taking an even longer time to put into practice. That feeling of excitement and energy from when I posted before? That’s cool, that’s special, that’s fun. But it isn’t sustainable. And unless that’s acknowledged, disappointment waits around every corner. Not that it’s a one-and-done kind of thing. Acknowledgment isn’t a discrete event. It’s a process that unfolds.

The flipside is that this mindset makes negative feelings so much more bearable. It becomes easier to accept my sadness when I know that I won’t be sad for the rest of my life. The temporary nature of feelings provides hope for a better day, or at least a better moment. And that hope provides strength for the present.

But it’s a process and I’m still learning. I still feel as if whatever I am currently feeling will last for the rest of my life. Upside? The good times feel great. Downside? The bad times feel hopeless. I’m working on grounding myself in reality and acting out of who I want to be and where I want to go, rather than how I’m superficially feeling at any given moment.

In practice, this looks like writing a story for Medium that I know will get five reads if I’m lucky while I’d much rather be sipping Moscato while watching New Girl with my friends.
LOVE
By: Art Shatri
Tags: Teen, Feelings, Love

Love .Love is a indescribable feeling that everyone shoul experience.Wen you see the person you love,you seem to be in a completely diffrent world .This world that you two are alone.

I HOPE EVERYONE EXPERIENCE THIS AMAZING FEELING
Feeling on the Outside
Tags: Women On The Spectrum, Feelings, Autism, Autism Spectrum Disorder

Feeling on the outside, I knew I was different from my Montessori peers when I was two. Feeling on the outside and failing to get in, feelings on the inside that won’t get out of my head.

I hear things louder, even when they are quiet.

I can’t understand words in songs even though I am a singer.

The pain I feel won’t tell me how badly to hurt.

My emotions are delayed and remorseful.

Making eye contact burns my eyes.

I hurt people’s feelings because I can’t feel my own.

I am broken, and nobody knows because of my mask and my innocent spirit; you would never know.

Quietly searching for the reason I’m different for 24 years, and I finally found it; I finally know that I am whole.

I didn’t want to believe it either. Autism.
My Yellow
By: Lorin Babcock
Tags: Yellow, Feelings, Heartbreak, Poetry, Love

Photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash

My yellow is like the sun

Always bouncing around in the sky,

and having its fun

My yellow protects me

from things in the dark

He tells me I’m perfect

and that I have a good heart

But I wish my yellow was more like me

Closer to Earth

and not so hard to see

I wish he could tell me everything would be ok

and that he would stay with me just for one day

But then my yellow turned into blue

He left with no warning

Like they all do

I wish he could see all the damage he did

and how he left me stranded on an island

not knowing how to swim

But eventually I learned

like we all do

My yellow started to fade

and with that my strength grew

I still think about him sometimes

and of what could’ve been

I know you’ll never see this

but just incase you do

Dear Yellow,

I miss you
Riding High, Riding Low
By: Sabine Vekemans
Tags: Poem, Feelings, Personal Growth, Scribe, Poetry

Riding High, Riding Low

Foto door Skitterphoto via Pexels

Riding high, riding low

I am a gateway

for all feelings

Riding me in ways

I might not understand

So far out of my mind

Too deep in troubled waters

I only need to give

myself permission

to feel this way



It’s in the judging and the fighting

they get stuck and remain

Even if they overwhelm me

as the best host

I don’t have to know them

Only feed them for a while

with some loving attention

and offer a place to rest

And thank them at the door

as I wave to them goodbye

It is in this rite of passage

I can serve them best
Bob Marley once said, Being vulnerable is the only way to make your heart feel true pleasure.
Tags: Feelings, Anxiety, Heartbreak, Bpd

Bob Marley once said, Being vulnerable is the only way to make your heart feel true pleasure. Nothing ever hurt as bad as coming out of your shell, and being kicked right back in. Love. Love hurts. It is undeniably one of the best and worst things and it hurts. It hurts more than the first time you fall off your bike as a kid, it hurts more than the first black eye you get from being a stupid kid, and yet you still need to keep loving. The first feeling of rejection you ever feel will scar you, it will pain you just to hear their name, it will give you a headache just to even think about it. The first time you lose them, the first time you couldn’t keep them around, the first time the person you loved more than anything changes, Your heart will shatter, your lips will burn, your hands will shake. Not only the firsts, but every time after. Because even though you know it will hurt, you still try. Vulnerability, Hurts. It hurts to have to try not to be the shy kid who sticks to themself. It hurts to have to try not to shake when you talk, it’s hard and it’s truly a process to feel like you are at home with yourself, and not a strange place. It’ll hurt when you have to explain to your friends and loved ones that you’re feeling sad again, and that you can’t go a minute without feeling anxious and that feeling that you’re hurting them, that you’re worrying them, it hurts more than anything you’ve felt before. It all hurts. But in the wake of vulnerability, You have people who surround you with love, and warmth. Even when you can’t reciprocate any of it. It hurts to come out and say that you’re not the strong girl people used to look up to, it hurts for people to look at their funny friend with worry because she seems sad again. It will always feel like you can’t get the words out, that you can’t breathe, but sometimes it’s better not to be the strongest person in the room. It’s harder, and people look at you differently. But feeling doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. It makes you stronger, it makes you tougher. You need to feel it all and not just hold it in. It’ll hurt, but it’ll be ok. It always will be.
A common closure to old fashioned warfare is when one side forfeits because they are deprived of…
Tags: Feelings, Anxiety, Heartbreak, Bpd

A common closure to old fashioned warfare is when one side forfeits because they are deprived of all methods used to battle their rivals. Deprived of a reaction or just simply they have no more. They have exhausted all methods necessary in order to fight and be compatible to fight against the fighting team.

When our love became war, it felt like it was an even playing ground. We were on unknown land, both of us clueless to a compromise, and fight sometimes was the only way to figure it out. And sometimes Warfare is confusing. Sometimes in War both sides realize they don’t want to fight. They can’t or they feel a compromise would work better than to indebt themselves and lose time. For us, you made me feel for the past couple days that we were no longer rifle to rifle. You made me think all guns were down and that suddenly war could be over. Until now. You saw suddenly my primary choice in solution was to drop arms and look for peace, and so you picked up your guns and aimed. You told me you don’t care and i shouldn’t and that in the future you won’t care about who you were with at this point. My Army looked. Precautiously my army stood tall, defended and looked at the opposing team. You are not what they say you are, they all thought. Re-Armed both armies stood gun tip to another and gave a dangerous stare. No shot is heard, but the army of mine doesn’t want to shoot. Guns raised but morally no shot should be shot. Sadly though, we’re standing here guns high, because the rivals have shot at us before. Shot at us for no reason. Man down they scream, Man down. There’s just so many times you can get shot until you have no army. Until you’ve exhausted all methods of warfare and have no choice to forfeit. As we are not there yet and still in battle, but i know a compromise is not on its way. I know my army’s. peacefulness is only seen as a meager mistake and is taken for granted, but for when i shoot my last shot. My final last ammunition used to try to hit your army, do not be afraid when someone falls, and we walk away. Do not walk towards when you asked for us to shoot and walk away. Do not act like our army fought for fun or was an irrational attempt at compromise. Understand that when i’ve exhausted all methods of warfare, war is over. War will never start again.
My time line starts…
By: Leslie'S Story
Tags: Feelings, Happy Or Sad, Timeline

I am writing my first story to the first dot of my timeline.

I know I am busy but I still want to read, write, learn, design, draw and sew…..

Which is my top hobby?

What should I do next?

Where should I go next?

I am waiting someone to tell me the answers.

Hey, don’t tell me you don’t know.

I know but I don’t want to accept it.

That’s is my feeling now………
Journal 1
Tags: Lost, You Are Not Alone, Motivation, Feelings, Journal

Do you ever feel lost but you know exactly where you are?

That’s how I feel right now.

The stress with being back at school and being in advanced classes has taken over.

It makes me feel so down the majority of the time.

Everyone says I need to try harder but I was trying my best.

I have no motivation to complete any of my assignments.

I miss when it was Summer.

Not because we had no school. Not because we had no homework. Not because we got to sleep in.

I miss when my only worry was not putting on sunscreen before I went out.

I miss staying up all night having deep conversation with my friends.

I miss playing video games all day and having a absolute blast without feeling bad about the fact that I got nothing productive done that day.

I miss constantly having a smile on my face.

I miss being excited about picking an outfit for the day.

Maybe this feeling is because online school is finally getting to me but I think it’s more school in general.

Since school started things have changed.

My head is constantly in a textbook reading over information that will never be helpful to me in life.

My eyes are constantly glued to the screen of my zoom class and the homework that takes hours on top of hours to do.

I end up getting tired by 6:00 pm.

All my friends are so busy with school that we barely have the time to have our deep conversations and play those video games that we love so much.

They tell me it’s my fault. That I can do better.

I understand where they are coming from but in my position it is easier said then done.

I try so hard to focus on my work and to get my homework in on time and study for all my tests.

But it feels like all the information I hear ends up going out the other ear. All the information I read disappears in a matter of hours.

I procrastinate so much and it shows in my grades.

I can’t bring myself to stop.

I keep telling myself I will do better next time but will I?

From where I see things I said that last marking period and the year before that.

I guess it’s really my own laziness and my own procrastination that got me here.

All I am trying to say here is high school is a lot harder then I thought it would be and I feel so drained already.

All this pressure and the constant need to repeat myself when talking about it with my family and friends is finally getting to me.

I figured that the only person who can get me out of this funk is myself.

At this point screw school screw my grades. I need a break that's why I am so thankful for winter break. This winter break I need to take time for myself. I need to relax and keep my chin up. I need to give myself a goal that I HAVE to reach. It is the only way I can finally feel satisfied with my placement in life right now.

If you feel like this right now as well just remember that it gets better. Things will always get better overtime.

“Life goes on. Lets live on!” -BTS

-Mandy
The Truth About Anxiety
By: Yemisi Fadiya
Tags: Anxiety, Emotional Health, Feelings, Life Advice, Mental Health

Anxiety is a present phenomenon whether we like it or not, but it becomes abnormal and takes up a life of its own the moment we let it control us, and it starts to control us when we try to control the future and begin to imagine the worst of situations.

“I want what I want! And I want to find what I want in the exact place, at exact time that I want it to be there. And maybe that’s why so many of us go wanting.”

― Craig D. Lounsbrough

Anxiety drives us to do things out of desperation and despair, and we deal with it using unhealthy coping mechanisms, anything that appears soothing to calm us at the moment even though these mechanisms are always short-lived. Anxiety thrives in fear, and that fear thrives in obsession. The obsession with certainty is insane because, ironically, the most significant moments of our lives are mysteriously hidden in the unknown, and in letting anxiety control us, we suffer endlessly.

In letting anxiety control us, we suffer endlessly.

Anxiety will have you believe you have to work yourself to the bones so there can be an ever-flowing influx of money even though it never suggests that you take the time to look around and enjoy what is around you. It feeds and fattens your fears, so you work and work with no time to breathe.

Anxiety will have you believing staying close to your lover/partner is the only reassuring way to ensure that the love you share is real and won’t disappear, but in doing this, you punish yourself and live in the abyss of constant despair.

Anxiety will have you believing controlling your children is the best way to parent because you know better but we know that controlling another human no matter how genuine the intentions are is a recipe for resentment.
Journal Entry: 1 Friday, Dec. 18th
Tags: Siblings, Feelings, Schools, Journaling, Grades

Journal Entry: 1 Friday, Dec. 18th

Today I found out I got an 82 (B) on my Math exam which is good for me because we all know how much I suck at math. My grades are good two B’s and two A’s I just can’t help but feel that it’s not enough my parents are saying how proud they are of me but Julia (my sister) keeps bragging how she has all A’s. Don’t get me wrong I’m proud of her but it’s so annoying and I know she’s in middle school and I’m taking harder classes than she is but still. Every time I bring up my grades she’s always like well I have all A’s like we get it Julia you have all A’s. It’s kinda dumb I know but it feels like she’s trying to degrade me and make me feel stupid.

I bet my life that my sister can’t go one day without being mean or saying something rude to me. There is no way she’ll be able to do it. We have our good moments sure but it’s always ruined by her saying something. Like she will have an attitude with me for no reason like if we hug or something and I accidentally scratch her she’ll get an attitude with me and act like it’s the end of the world. When I read all of this I feel bad because my problems seem minor and dumb compared to others who are struggling. I know I have the right to feel what I feel and I shouldn’t waver them off because they matter or whatever but still. It’s just I feel bad about complaining about all of this when I know there are people starving, homeless, and dying.

Well these are all of my major feelings that I’ve had today that I could remember anyways. Thank you for reading anyway my loves.
Meditation as a tool for personal growth
By: Villiam Virkkunen
Tags: Feelings, Meditation, Mind, Personal Growth, Mindfulness

What has surprised me during my 10 years of meditation practice is how malleable mind actually is. I have found that the key to developing mental capacities is to see meditation not as a relaxation technique, but as a tool for mental growth. It’s a method for developing strength, resilience and well-being in a similar way as exercise can be used to develop our physical capacities.

In addition to increased mental ’strength’ like improved focus, meditation also helps us become aware of unresolved issues in our unconscious mind.

Different emotions (such as anxiety, fear, anger, insecurity) and unconscious thought patterns can be brought into awareness with the help of meditation. After a while one usually starts to understand how the pattern functions and where it came from. Some of these patterns can then be addressed through continued meditation, whereas others require more active methods such as coaching, psychotherapy, somatic therapy or just a good ol’ cup of tea with a trustworthy friend 🍵😉

Each resolved unconscious emotion and thought pattern brings more mental freedom and joy. Therefore, for meditation practice to be effective it should not be viewed as a way to avoid hard feelings, but as a method for facing them head on and then finding ways to address them. Each mental/behavioral pattern has a story to tell, and the only way to free oneself from one is by first listening to it. This ’listening’ happens by sensing feelings in the body, and by observing thoughts arising.

To use meditation in this way requires courage, acceptance, openness, and curiosity towards whatever is stored in the unconscious mind and in the body. Then, when one learns to face whatever arises and resolve what previously has been left unresolved the natural qualities of mind start to emerge. Through my own experience I have found these qualities to be spontaneity, compassion, fearlessness, joy, and curiosity.

If you got inspired, two great meditation apps to explore during the holidays are Waking Up and Headspace. Enjoy!
Baby mine why do you weep? I wish I could steal your sadness while you’re fast asleep You don’t deserve the pain that this treacherous world brings I want to protect you and guide you please, stay…
By: Kenzie Kuhn
Tags: Thoughts, Poem, Feelings, Musings, Poetry

Baby mine

why do you weep?

I wish I could steal your sadness

while you’re fast asleep

You don’t deserve the pain

that this treacherous world brings

I want to protect you and guide you

please, stay under my wings

People will be cruel

like humans often are

They can’t see your light

they’ll snuff out your spark

So, stay here with me

for I’ll keep you safe

The others will harm you

and dump you like waste

Why are you leaving?

Please don’t go away

Oh, baby of mine

I beg you to stay
It Must Be True
By: Nick G. Mason
Tags: Emotions, Life Lessons, Feelings, Philosophy, Mindfulness

Your emotions are experts at convincing you that you’re right.
On Losing
By: Kayla Jashiraz
Tags: Lost, Confused, Losing, Heartache, Feeling

(a little November draft)

Losing is always hard. Then again, losing is also something that each person must endure once in a while. You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be. You have to go through all the bumps along the way.

I remember when I was only an elementary student, a fourth-grader, I was super into basketball. I enrolled in my school’s basketball team and practiced two times a week. One day after I finished practicing, I head out to my driver, crying in disbelief that someone actually stole my school bag during the practice. I never expected to lose my bag that day, which is why I was completely devastated about it. Yes, losing something you never thought you’d lose is perplexing.

On the other hand, losing things you already know you’ll lose is a different kind of pain. Even if you know how something’s going to end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride, but keep in mind that the agony always keeps fast-track card in hand. It’s the type of sorrow you can’t run away from since it’s always one step ahead of you.

Losing something fucks up your brain. It messes with your mind. It left you silent-crying beneath the pillow at 3 in the morning. It’s full of puzzling question marks.

Whatever you lost wasn’t yours, but you sure as hell can be sad about it.
Faith
By: Kaushal Shah
Tags: Thoughts, Feelings, Viewshare, Poetry, Faith

Faith — ViewShare

Words are erased to be re-written

Lives perish to rejuvenate

Feelings are senses of joy and sorrow

Sun sets, to rise again tomorrow

Tears are emotions uncontrolled

Death doesn’t wait until called

Trees fade away to blossom someday

Soul departs, to return one day

Expensive is something that you can’t buy

Dew is a wet diamond, not dry

Pictures become beautiful when coloured

for specials, colourless is their entire world

Beautiful is to learn to accept what we have

Work hard to achieve and respect what he gave

Tomorrow is yours, today is a past

Climb up, fall again, till the breath you have is last.
Don’t Save What You Feel for Later
By: Alexandra Androne
Tags: Feelings, Sincere, Spiritual Tree

In terms of self-love

Admire now what you do

Cry out the bad feelings

Imagine being old

With a pocket of dreams

Unsolved

In term of self-love

Play only with the kindest words

Understand and care

Imagine being a toddler

With a bag full of toys

Who shared worldwide so much joy

In terms of self-love

Say to others what you love to them

This brave, beautiful, scary thing

Will save your charming soul