What is LOVE for you? Dr. Cassandra LeClair answers.
By: Mirjam Grupp
Tags: Relationships, Heartbreak, Personal Growth, Love Yourself, Love

Mirjam Grupp asks: What is LOVE for you? Dr. Cassandra LeClair answers.

Today, Dr. Cassandra LeClair focusses on how self-love precedes loving and accept to being loved.

Cassandra is an author, professor, communication consultant, and motivational speaker. She is an expert on communicating feelings and improving connections. Her mission is to educate individuals on how to have effective and healthy communication to enhance their relationships. Her desire to help others improve their self awareness and embrace their identity is fueled by her personal experience of healing with trauma. Dr. LeClair felt compelled to share her journey with others in the hopes that they would feel less alone. Her book, Being Whole: Healing from Trauma and Reclaiming My Voice, urges readers to examine, acknowledge, and heal their own broken and fragmented pieces — using their voice in the way that best resonates with them. Cassandra loves spending time in nature by paddle boarding and exploring trails.

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Imagine that from this moment on, the verb “to love” does not exist anymore. How do you express yourself when you feel love? In words, actions?

The feeling is bigger than the word. We attach meaning to the word, but it comes alive through a prolonged glance, a gentle touch, or a heartfelt smile. It is present in the warmth of my voice as I speak words of appreciation and through the joy I radiate when I feel a deep connection.

🔵 Out of LOVE

In which situation (or inner state of being) did you feel most disconnected or excluded from love?

In many ways, I have held myself back from truly experiencing love. My lack of self-love kept me from truly believing someone could fully love me for my authentic self.

🔵 Returning into LOVE

When you have been out of Love, how do you help yourself to re-enter?

I take space. I allow myself to feel the grief, pain, and sorrow. I remind myself that those feelings are present because the feelings of love were deep. I work to acknowledge and release the pain so I can grow forward.

I use each hurt or heartbreak to teach me more about myself.

I get clearer on my wants and needs so that I can have an even healthier relationship going forward.

▷Ask me a question about LOVE

How do you know it’s love?

Mirjam: my body tells me and also my heart. My heart beats at a calm and happy pace, a pace it enjoy to beat at. And also my body is relaxed. And there is warmth in my belly. I do not really think. This is the core — flowing and open.

If there are jolts in my heartbeat or a contraction in my body, I feel they are rather there because I am open and afraid to be hurt. But they are not there in the first place.

🔵 Almost Lovers

Let me start by saying what an almost lover is for me. An almost lover is a person, with whom you feel SO yourself, SO creative, SO in love that you feel — this is my life partner. However, an almost lover does not want to be with you. Did you have an experience like this? And if so — did your almost love story lead to important inner and outer transformations in your life that you are now grateful for? Which are your favorite two ones?

In a different way. I had that person and I didn’t think it would end. We were deeply in love. It was a wonderful relationship but I felt tormented by the desire to learn more about myself. I engaged in a long healing process that brought me deep self love, a sense of self worth, and feelings of peace, but it was at the expense of my relationship. I couldn’t allow him to love me in the way I needed because I didn’t understand what that looked like. After it ended, I felt tremendous loss and devastation. It was as though my own wounds were clear to me-but that bond was already severed. I do not think I would have reached the growth space and transformative healing if I had stayed in the relationship, yet I feel strongly he was my great love. At that moment, I had to love myself more. My transformative love story is finally learning to love myself.

🔵 LOVE Quotes

There are many love-quotes out there. Which is your favorite one on true romantic love — and why?

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi

I like the reminder that we needn’t pursue and push. When we remain open to love, we realize it is there for us to receive.

Thank you!

Find Dr. Cassandra LeClair on Instagram

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What is LOVE for you?

is a Love interview series by author Mirjam Grupp.

Get your FREE chapter of An Almost Love Story at bymirjam.com.

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