I Escaped My Abusive Spouse and Then I Had an Awakening
By: Emily Jennings
Tags: Domestic Violence, Life Lessons, Spirituality, Domestic Abuse, Mindfulness

I Escaped My Abusive Spouse and Then I Had an Awakening

Photo by 张 嘴 on Unsplash

The abuse had gone on too long, but I hadn’t fully received the messages that had been sent by the universe, so I was thrown into the pain over and over. I hadn’t learned the lesson that was meant to be learned yet. I was in despair until I could take no more.

I was depressed, nearly suicidal, backed into a dark corner. And I saw the smile on his face. He was deriving pleasure from my pain.

I called attention to it, and he refused to acknowledge it, threatening to leave me. So I allowed it. I allowed him to leave us alone.

The shred of remaining self-respect that I had took hold of me and forced myself out, with my four-year-old daughter, to start a new life. I cut ties.

Hard as it was to walk away from the life we’d built, the plans I had for the future, and the love I had for him despite his cruelty, it was obvious that it had to go forward.

Leaving an abusive relationship was like coming up for a breath of fresh air when I’d been suffocating for years.

A New Reality

I had endured attacks on my self-worth, fear tactics, threats, gaslighting, verbal abuse, and emotional coldness for five years. Yet, I stayed because of the fear of being a single parent with a full-time job.

And in a pandemic, when children were home with their working parents it didn’t seem possible. But here we are.

As soon as he was out of my surroundings and his voice was not in my mind telling me I was worthless, the air was cleared, and I became aware of new things.

I felt a foreign, tiny force inside me that had been all but depleted. It was called my inner strength. I began to be nice to it, to help it grow up again.

My awareness was heightened so I could hear the messages that the universe had for me, loud and clear. Signs and symbols, like a turtle appearing in a garden, manifested in my trajectory to lead me to full awakening.

I found myself discovering the chakras for the first time in my life and reading about the conscious universe. All these things were aligned with how I’ve always thought about reality but had no confirmation of these hunches until 2020.

Cultivating the Awakening

I began to meditate. I had liberating experiences, like my third eye leading me down a whooshing tunnel and my spirit spinning itself out of my body.

I snapped awake to a view of life where I am merely a spirit inhabiting a body like a puppet, playing the role of a character.

The stillness and beauty of the universe presented itself to me when I could let go of fears and attachments as my pure spirit self. My heart was wide open.

The universe began sending me messages, giving me very clear insights about the pandemic, the election, and the future of humanity.

November was a rough month. I could see the end the whole time, but I was forced to sit on the sidelines watching it unfold. And this pandemic has more surprises in store for us, as does the election scene. But I didn’t write this post to give you psychic predictions.

The universe gave me truths about my personal life as well as the lives of all living things.

With my intuition in tune with what it had to say, I could see clearly what was going on at work, and what was coming, and a deep knowing that the events transpiring are just manifestations of the great moving love that holds up reality.

Jobs, relationships, money, luck, and misfortune are all mere surface manifestations of a great production of the universe’s energy, all that is here to solve something and to let love prevail. Nothing matters but love.