The Only and Best Way to be Happy
By: Eiji Suhara Phd
Tags: Mindfulness, Happiness, Buddhism, Meditation, Awareness

“Do you want to get happiness? I will tell you how!!”

If you hear this sort of catchphrase, you should be skeptical of such a claim.

The noun “happiness” is a problematic way to put it, as it sounds as if there is some-“thing” called “happiness” that exists out there, separate from “us.” However, “happiness” is not some-thing that we can “get” because there are no distinct substances named “we” and “happiness.” We just need to be happy. But how does the moment of “being happy” happen?

The only way to “be happy” is by detaching ourselves from objects of greed. The mental function of greed, attached to some representations, is the mastermind, the very thing that obstructs us from being happy.

Does it sound obvious? Someone may say that it was already pointed out by the Buddha in his teaching of the Four Noble Truth.

However, what I want to emphasize here is that we are initially happy beings. When our attention is fixed on a cloud of greed, however, we fail to note the sunshine behind the cloud. The sun has been and always will be there. Only when we detach from greed, e.g., from our wishes for success, fame, money, self, happiness, etc., can we accomplish the state of being happy at any time.

Photo by Rocco Caruso on Unsplash

Detaching from greed

How then do we detach from objects of greed? We shouldn’t stop following our greed, as it is a part of our nature, and we need it to survive. Trying to control our greed not only doesn’t work but makes the situation worse. Because such an intentional act itself, no matter if its supreme purpose is to remove greed or achieve enlightenment, is just another act of greed.

We can say the same thing about a sleepless night. When we can’t sleep, we can’t force ourselves to sleep. If we compel ourselves to sleep because we have an important test tomorrow, we can never sleep. Likewise, when athletes or artists are nervous before a performance, they can’t force themselves to be calm. Such an effort will only serve to create more pressure so that they can’t achieve their tension-free best performance.

What should we do on such an occasion? We just need to be patient and do nothing. We should abandon our continuous efforts to fall asleep or keep calm. Because we seek to marry our ideal image (sleeping) to reality (can’t sleep), we are inevitably frustrated when things go poorly. Only if we are indifferent to our desired result, can we relax and sleep.

In the same way, we should stop pursuing happiness. Instead, we should wait for happiness to come to us.

Using greed while detaching from greed

When we look through this “tricky” function of mental activity, we naturally abandon sticking to objects of greed. However, it is not the case that we “stop” being greedy.

If the definition of greed includes the connotation of “motivation,” it is a necessary factor for us to accomplish anything. Otherwise, we may become lethargic and apathetic people who don’t know how to enjoy aesthetic facets of life. Therefore, we should put greed to use while also detaching from greed. We can refer to some words from the Buddhist masters to confirm this insight:

They should use their minds spontaneously and naturally, without abiding by preconceived notions (Diamond Sutra, p. 9. Bold part modified by the author) No-thought is not to think even when involved in thought (Huineng. The Platform Sutra of the Sixth Patriarch, p. 138)

We have to detach from all greed in order to be happy, but we can do so while using greed. This is the art of the middle way, neither affirming nor negating greed. Only attachment to the extreme poles of “excessive greed” and “no greed” should be avoided.

Photo by イワン on photoAC

Conclusion

Again, the best and only way to be happy is to detach from objects of greed through the middle way. There is absolutely no other way. Succeeding in society, getting a lot of money, etc., are unrelated to the mental phenomenon of “being happy,” but coupled to “being satisfied.” However, the mental act of “being satisfied” always has the potential to turn into “being dissatisfied.”

Another important point to emphasize is that we can’t obtain happiness because we are already happy. Despite that fact, we don’t feel happy because our attention is attached to a cloud of greed.

All that we can do to get the sun back is to look away from the cloud of greed — but not directly at the sun. Then the sun will manifest naturally, and we will find sunshine permeating our lives. We can then enjoy the warmth of the sunshine, which we can’t survive without.