Emerging triumph in my decade-long search for my career identity
By: Wing Puah
Tags: Careers, Self Taught Developer, Software, Self Improvement

Photo by Calvin Mano on Unsplash

There are two concurrent identities. No, I’m not talking about a Schrödinger’s cat. It is perhaps more like two spots on a beautiful spectrum that I find myself in. My career identity has been shapeshifting at 21 years old. From cafe assistant to a fitness instructor to a small startup owner to the ones, I am proud of now.

Back then, the efforts appear futile. But at the age of 31, the fog of life seems to settle a little.

Metamorphosis — The cycle of life

We don’t transform physically in a spectacular manner like how a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. Internally, we could be undergoing a Kafkaesque experience or a Paulo Coelho-ish type of self-actualization. It is normal that we repulse ugly sights. But what if, to completely embody beauty, we first need to undergo the coffin of self-destruction?

Caterpillar — Moving almost blind

A caterpillar does not have excellent vision, but it could identify light and darkness. The primary role of a caterpillar is to eat, consuming as much as 27,000 times its body size. When a caterpillar first emerges from its shell, it devours its eggshell, which is rich in protein.

In the beginning, I muddle under the enchantment of purpose.

“What is the purpose of life?” has brought me to almost half a year stint in New Zealand, thinking that travel, could miraculously provide me with the answers to life.

Perhaps stories of pilgrimage provide sufficient fodder for me to romance about life. What is life if life is not lived to the fullest? But then again, what does it mean to live life to the fullest? Perhaps, I’m meant to be great.

If I’m meant to change the world, how do I start? At that point in time, back from my self-imposed pilgrimage, the only form of clear direction I have in my life is that I want to immerse myself deeper into the world of sustainability, mainly starting from the source of our food.

So I choose to work in an organic vegetarian cafe as a kitchen crew. Like the caterpillar, my life revolves around food. The difference is, instead of consuming, I churn out plates and plates of food.

Chrysali — The death behind transformation

When a caterpillar is ready to transform into a butterfly, it moves to the next stage of life, the pupa stage, in which the little sack that the caterpillar stay seemingly motionless in is called the chrysalis.

Despite how it looks, the caterpillar has all it needs to transform into a butterfly. Inside the chrysalis, certain enzyme of the caterpillar will eat up the caterpillar itself to unlock the information of the butterfly. Basically, butterfly is created from caterpillar soup.

Soon, even though all jobs are respectable, I got bored of the reptititve nature of a kitchen crew. Maybe there could be something better. At the same time I was trying to be a personal trainer and a group fitness instructor, in which both of them fell flat after two years.

By chance, I became a startup of an event company, which is currently defunct. Our biggest achievement being the co-organiser of the Vienna Boys’s Choir event. Months and months of meticulous planning went to ensure the smooth deliverance of the event. Judgment week came in which the execution could have been much better but still, it was considered a successful event.

One thing leads to another, like how the caterpillar voluntarily transform into a chrysalis, having full faith that the death of the caterpillar will kickstart the emergence of a butterfly.

The Vienna Boys’ Choir event has indirectly kickstarted my career in technology as I am hired as a full-timer in a technology company by a mutual connection of the hirer of the event.

Butterfly — Emergence

The butterfly begins life by pushing itself against the shell. At that point in time, the butterfly is not ready to take flight yet as their wings are droopy. After an hour or so, when blood is pumped into the butterfly wings, the butterfly is ready to take flight.

Being a self-taught developer, even after building apps after apps, I am constantly in doubt of myself. However, this also mean that I proactively take steps to improve my skills. I want to be better, I want to prove myself.

I want code quality. I want readable code. I want efficient code. Over the few years that I have been in the technological sector, it has been a struggle to validate myself on what I am learning is on the right path. Am I applying the technique correctly? Is there a better way to make this code more maintainable?

At the same time, during this two years, as Covid hits, I start to look into my financial seriously. As I have transited into a career with more stable income, I could finally put a good amount of money into the market to grow my net worth. While I love working in tech, as it gives me the power to create and transform lives, at the back of my head, I suspect the inevitable might not be rosy down the decades. One to prepare for the worse, since my events day, I started to look into trading options. Every trading night, I will be on my laptop, trading options, it has evolved into a career of its own.

Currently, I am fortunate to be able to partake in a structured traineeship that has mentorship in a greentech startup. I am also currently improving my tech skills and qualification by studying in SUSS as a major in ICT with data science minor.

I am hopeful in building a career identity as both a developer and a trader. This is my story. Whatever the cycle of life will bring me next, I am ready for it.