Let’s make our own way! It’s our life so it has to be our way too!!
Tags: Thoughts And Feelings, Way To Go, Relationships, Life Lessons, Self-awareness

Let’s make our own way! It’s our life so it has to be our way too!! bebutterfly Apr 25·8 min read

Everyone has a way of doing things and looking at situations with their instinctive vision. Thats their own individual trait and knack of living the life. But still lots among us are struggling with their living ways & choices. We are constantly at odds with how we want things and how they are really going. Whats actually happening?

Let’s make our way…

The reality is that we keep on thinking and planning our life mostly around the people or events on which we have no control or authority. By doing this we unconsciously attach our joys and sorrows too with these things. Is this fair to us? If we wish to have the day as we want it to go then we have to hold the things which are closer to our heart as priority and not look at the things which can be affected by the external events or by other people views.

It is a fact that we can’t keep the things tightly in our hold as everything need to be treated as a fluid. There has to be some freedom in ourselves and things around us too. Nothing can be as perfect as we wish it to be! Even we are not.. So, let’s just give ourselves some break, re-energise and get back to the groove with fresh and practical outlook. This way, at least we can prepare ourself with better hold on our emotional and mental well-being. We won’t hold ourselves hostage to situations and people around us. We will be able to stride on with a smile on our face and that’s so important. We have to enjoy the life, nature and other tiny things around us.

I have always been a person whose happiness depended on the smile and shadows of people around me. I was running behind things to make them as perfect and comfortable as it can be so that they can smile and eventually I can too! It created so much chaos and finally bitterness in me that I had to let all relations go so that I can breathe with ease. Was I fair to myself? I think no one will agree.. So, why keep hanging to it? Yeah, I agree it’s easier said than done but we have to start somewhere. We can’t keep on being idiot.

It’s good to be a positive and self-less person but its not at all right to not take care of your own soul in the process. It needs constant nurturing and care. Let’s have a peaceful soul which can imbibe goodness from the world and live on with contentment. I haven’t changed much but first and foremost thing which I have started doing is.. I have stopped waiting!!

Let’s see what need to be put in right perspective to have a long fulfilling life instead of suffering & eventually ending up bitter and hurt. There are few basic things which can help us to start with:

Stop, Refocus and Restart — Everyone has to be responsible for their own emotions and happiness. Its not easy because as a human we have our emotional strings automatically attached with our family members, friends etc. Few go a step ahead, like me who have theirs attached to even success & failures of their loved ones too. It’s okay to empathize with other person’s emotions but making your life sail as per their things is not practical at all. It drains you out eventually. In the long run, even your loved ones will feel the burden to act certain way so that you can stay happy and it’s not the right way to enjoy life. So, let’s take charge of our emotional & mental state and look at things with better, improved and balanced outlook. It won’t come overnight but it is a regular process which we need to consciously engage in. Being aware about how you are feeling and thinking will help you make learning go smoothly. Nothing is going to go bad if we think for ourselves. It’s not being selfish but its being self-aware. I fell and got up again, I repeated the habit again n again but today I can say that I am in much better state and I am so happy that I did it myself!

Sometimes I still do mistakes but then I realise it too so its okay as no one is perfect. We have to be happy the way we are going as it’s the journey which creates memories not the destination.

Engage yourself in productive & positive things — When we are not in the best shape of ourself than we stop doing all those things which can help us go through the tough phase. That’s not okay. We need to do them more in the bad times as they can add some positivity & warmth to otherwise dull times. We should look at things which we feel happy to do like any hobby or any other activity like cooking, doodling, colouring, exercising, listening music and reading. I am very fond of listening music and books are my best friend but I got so wrapped up in going along with other member’s routine and choices that I forgot mine. I did this to me myself. It was totally unnecessary! Surely it used to give immense happiness to add happy touches to my family’s life but I don’t need to do them at the expense of my own. It’s unrealistic. Because of this, I started expecting them to think for mine which didn’t happen. If you are not putting time & energy into yourself than its wrong to expect others to do it for you. It may happen that they also think of you if they see you doing it for yourself. So, let’s engage ourselves in activities or habits which can add positivity to our life. It’s okay to start late but it’s not okay to never start. This will make situation less hard and at last they will become so light that you’ll be able to blow them away with a smile. Enjoying a good book with a nice cup of coffee is my saviour. What’s yours? Do tell me in comments..

Nurture your Body & Soul — It’s been stressed upon for so long by so many people from all spheres of life but still there are few like me who let this go loose. That’s our fitness and eating habits. Now, I think I could have done better. How can I be so busy where I am nourishing other member’s body, soul & mind with best of dietary needs, regular exercise and feeling too tired to do it myself. We ignore our own eating time-table but fight in the house if someone else misses even one tiniest item in a day! How can a person live a fulfilling life if their body is not in best state? Our eating habits makes us a productive and happy individual. The food is our fuel and if it’s not taken properly then our mind also start going haywire. We feel lethargic and so demotivated all the time. Even the smallest of the things start effecting us badly. The health body has a healthy mind. We have to take charge of our dietary needs and exercise too. Things can’t go on as they wish. We are back and we gonna start with a bang. Let’s remove too much junk items and eating at irregular timings. Then, let’s add a 15 min exercise like Tabata, HIIT or anything which suits you to our daily routine. I started my journey 2–3 years back. There were bad moments in between but now I can see results and others can too. Make the routine which you can stick to and work around it. We have to follow healthy, balanced diet and exercise to make it work too. The positive & happy hormones which flush through us at the end of the exercise will make it worthwhile. An individual who is in the best physical shape and balanced mind can handle the hardships of life in better way. Don’t give up and let’s get back into the best version of ourselves. Look at yourself with your personal hidden glasses. Don’t be harsh and keep cheering!! The journey maybe long & hard but the end will be awesome.

Let’s maintain the relationships with a Balanced Outlook — We, humans are social animals. We need human touch so having fulfilling relationships in our life can give it a better meaning. We have our family, friends and work acquaintances who all provide us with different emotional experiences. If our personal & social relations are going nicely then we feel better and upbeat but if any of them goes here n there than it starts reflecting in our mental and emotional state. It’s not good for us to be so minutely effected by the things happening in our relations. We can’t predict other person’s thinking way so its better if we stop getting too much effected by them. It’s normal for any relation to have some good days and some bad. It’s a natural process. Even we, ourselves can’t be in same state of being day in and day out. So, we have to stop beating ourselves if things are not going smoothly. It will be much better if people involved value the relationship and are ready to work through the ups & downs. The rest will fall. We should take into consideration the other person’s perspective and put forth ours too in a healthy way. The different phases in life provide us with all sort of experiences. They add an enriching flavour to our life. We should try to keep positive outlook and don’t let the negativity spoil things beyond our control. It’s always good to have a balanced approach with things because sometimes emotions run high and add regrets. We are not toys who can keep entertaining any other individual. Don’t set high expectations for yourself & others too!!

We should focus on maintaining a healthy, balanced approach in all our relations whether it’s with spouse, a friend or at work place. It can help everyone involved to value the relationship and make an equal effort to consider the opinion of other person. If we become too accommodating then the other person start taking us as granted and can consciously or unconsciously hurt us in the long run. We have to be truthful with our feelings. Communication in any relation is the key to keep things in right perspective. A healthy relationship is the one in which you can talk openly about problems and listen to one another respectfully. Let’s stop being hard on ourselves and work on making fulfilling relations. It’s never late…