Unapologetically Introverted
By: Jodi Berry
Tags: Professional Development, Leadership, Introvert

I’ve given a lot of thought recently to what it means to be an introvert. Here’s how it all began. I was passed up for a promotion that should have been mine. My manager had taken an early retirement and the store manager’s role was suddenly dropped on my plate at the beginning of this pandemic. I didn’t miss a beat. I reworked the schedule, and kept it moving. I kept morale high, sales strong and customers happy. I had been at this store for nearly three years helping to exceed sales plan. Our turnover was minimal and our earnings high. Since my manager was near retirement already, he had offered the reins to me in many aspects, and I took them with no hesitation, leading our team to success. I was confident in my abilities as a leader. Then he left unexpectedly. A search was started immediately for his replacement. Of course, I threw my hat in the ring, as did my cohort at another location. He had been at the company longer than me, but I had more leadership experience overall. Spoiler alert — he got the job instead of me. I was told by my district manager that I was almost ready, but not quite. That was quite a kick in the teeth to me. How could I not be ready to do what I had been successfully doing already? Now, I’m not saying my main competition (aka my new boss) wasn’t qualified, because he is. After working with him for a couple of months now, I am keenly aware of one very big difference between the two of us — I am an introvert and he is an extrovert. We balance each other well, even though our methods are different.

Many people are under the impression that introverts can not make good leaders. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Introverts are often seen as aloof, shy and even unfriendly. This is a common misconception held by natural extroverts. As an introvert, I can say that people have thought these things about me and I am aware of how I may seem to others who don’t know me well. Even at an early age I was misunderstood. My 5th grade teacher told my mom I was “stuck-up”. My mom defended me, of course, saying that I was shy. Can you imagine? I had just hit double digits and I was considered by my own teacher to be stuck up based on the fact that I didn’t say much! As if I felt like I was beyond reproach because of the Holly Hobbie lunch box I carried or the Shaun Cassidy t-shirt I wore religiously.

But I digress. People didn’t understand what introversion was back then. Even now people don’t truly know what it means. I am an introvert, but I am not shy. I don’t talk a lot in large social situations because I am busy gathering information. Small talk is not my forte — I’d rather use my voice to express something important and worthwhile. In fact, large social situations are tiring to me. Exhausting even. Afterward I need time to recharge my batteries. Alone.

Introverts are introspective. We draw our energy from within, whereas extroverts are energized from others around them. On a more personal level, my husband is an extrovert. Sometimes I see him interacting with others and think “that must be so exhausting!” But he thrives on that interaction, and I am usually overstimulated by it.

While doing research on introversion, I was surprised and a little offended when I saw articles suggesting that introverts can be fixed, as if we’re defective in some way. So some people may ask, “Can an introvert be an effective leader?” My answer is a resounding yes, and here are a few reasons why. You see, extroverts may seem like they make the best leaders because they radiate confidence in social situations. That’s their lifeforce, so to speak. But introverts can be just as effective, sometime more so than their extroverted counterparts. Please understand that there are exceptions to every rule and that these are generalizations based on personal experience sprinkled with a little bit of research.

· Introverts are excellent listeners. We gather information by listening to everyone’s contribution in a group setting. By listening, we learn what motivates people. We learn how to appreciate those we’re leading, and appreciation is a very important part of leadership. When our team knows we appreciate what they do, they are more likely to work hard to reach the goals set for them. Leaders should create a culture where they can give and receive praise, not just for being extraordinary, but for doing what is expected of them with a positive attitude. Appreciation is not a one-size-fits-all situation. For example, I have one hourly employee who loves to leave early. If I reward his hard work by letting him leave 15 minutes early any given day, he is happy. If I did that to another employee, she would see that as a punishment because she needs every minute she can get on her next paycheck. Once, I ordered pizza for the team as a reward for working so hard through a really tough time. Most of them enjoyed it, a couple of them did not because they had just given up carbs. Lesson learned.

· Introverts tend to be humble, acknowledging our mistakes and shortcomings. For the most leaders are accountable for their actions, good or bad. It took me a while to learn to accept praise for successes that I didn’t feel was mine to receive. The bottom line is leaders and managers will take responsibility for a company’s shortcomings, so take the credit for its successes as well and recognize and coach when and where it’s needed.

· Introverts are good problem solvers. We like to gather a lot of information so we can make informed decisions. Admittedly, we’re not the best when it comes to spur of the moment decisions, and will often second guess decisions we make in those circumstances. But we will keep the information we gained from that experience handy for when the situation arises again so we can draw from it to do better.

So how does an introvert get noticed in an industry where extroversion is valued so highly?

· Play to your strengths. Since introverts are naturally good listeners, take the time to listen to your team. Empower them to use their natural talents to advance the group as a whole. When they look good, you look good.

· Self-promoting is something most introverts find uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to be noticed by the powers that be. So find someone who will do it for you. Maybe a colleague or a mentor who knows you and your strengths will be willing to talk you up to the decision makers.

· Network virtually. Since social events can be exhausting, take advantage of finding connections on-line. One-on-one conversations are easier and, in my opinion, more meaningful without all the noise of a crowd.

· Step outside your comfort zone a little, then take some time afterwards to decompress. Sometimes growth, including professional growth, is uncomfortable. We may feel like we aren’t being genuine, that we’re betraying our true self. But consider this — don’t extroverts need to sometimes take the backseat and let someone else drive? It may be against their nature, but it needs to be done sometimes.

Let me just say that being an introverted leader is tricky. While I want my work to be recognized, I don’t want to be personally recognized. I appreciate someone acknowledging I’ve done a good job, but not in front of others. Over the years I’ve learned to appreciate my strengths. I may not ever be top dog, and I’m alright with that. But introverts like me are an important part of any organization, and I can’t imagine a workplace without us.