3 Mistakes Men Make When Picking a Holiday Gift for a Woman
By: Luciana Lambert
Tags: Lifestyle, Culture, Humor, Holidays, Christmas

3 Mistakes Men Make When Picking a Holiday Gift for a Woman

And how to nail it this time

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

It’s the time of the year when many men get overwhelmed by gift shopping for the special women in their lives. Retail salespersons have pre-selected options for the undecided, who will certainly walk in and be grateful to receive any help. I worked in retail — we want them in and out quickly, so we sell them what seems like a no-brainer, useful gift that gives them peace of mind.

In reality, those presents are lame. We would not want our boyfriends to buy them for us (except when I worked at Tiffany - I would have taken any of the gifts I sold there). If you are a man who has a panic attack every year when the Holidays are around the corner, and you can’t decide what to give her:

Learn what you have been doing wrong and avoid making the same mistakes. Use the tips I will provide. Keep this list for future years.

Mistake #1: Looking for something useful

The “useful gift” is a lazy concept. It is, I inform you, how the dreadful boxed soap was invented. In case you haven’t noticed, those items pack discount stores, for one reason: no one wants them. The people who buy them just want to avoid showing up empty-handed.

Let me be blunt: no man should buy us soap. Are you implying we don’t shower enough? Or do you think pink roses printed on paper are like real flowers, but longer-lasting? Whatever your answer is, we don’t want that box, period.

The only excusable “useful” gift you can give is a $500 cash card. Less, and you will be insulting. More, and we will feel like we owe you something. If you can afford that, we will take it. It is enough for us to get something we decide for ourselves that we need.

Mistake #2: Buying us cosmetic products

Unfortunately, men don’t stop at the boxed soap. You buy us beauty bags, lotion sets, and lip gloss, assuming we will be thrilled. Nope. Let me repeat the first tip’s message: you don’t decide what we rub on our pretty faces. You may think you know what you are picking, but you have no idea. I will probably be the first woman to let the secret out: every year, along with the soap, we discard several unused bottles of that department store’s “set of toner and lotion” you gave us. The worst offenders are men who once gifted us a set, and every year, they give us the same exact one because we pretended to love it the first time. We were just being polite.

Mistake #3: Personalized items

Just because it has my name (or picture) doesn’t mean I want to keep it. This is another boundary men cross, frequently the ones closest to us. Personalized gifts only work for pets, kids, and school teachers. My first grader’s teacher likes the practicality of an insulated bottle with her name — she stays hydrated all day. And if she misplaces it, someone returns it to her.

What to get her instead.

Suggestion #1: Something she wants

“Want” is better than “need,” at least on Christmas. If you are going to guess, go for something she might have on a wish list. Think of what she answered when you asked the first non-essential item she would get if she won the lottery. After “a trip and a car,” she probably said something like, “an accessory from [a specific luxury brand],” or “a spa treatment.” You must pay attention to her style and preferences, of course. But the good thing about a luxury item is that it can be easily exchanged if you picked the wrong pattern or color. And a spa treatment can also be customized to accommodate her preferences (a hot stone massage is easy to replace with a deep tissue one).

Suggestion #2: Books

If the first option is out of your budget, this is certainly not. You can never go wrong with books. Find the new best-selling title that she mentioned — stay away from self-help and fake gurus. I am talking about Michelle Obama’s “Becoming” (when it first came out). It was sold out, therefore hard to find, and everybody wanted to read it. Also memorable are first editions of her favorite books or those autographed by one of her favorite writers. A couple of similar suggestions: A movie you watched together might have a title it was based on. If she is a fan of “Hamilton,” there are books and books about it. If you know her well, picking a new addition to her library every year will never get old.

Suggestion #3: Gifts with a truly personal touch

A genuine surprise may be an upgrade of something she already owns and loves. That coffee brewer she uses twice a day for five years now? Buy her the new model. Is she an iPhone user? Give her Air Pods or the latest Apple Watch. Are her favorite pair of leather gloves getting worn out? Find one that looks almost exactly the same, but of even better quality, and gift it with a personal card or picture.

Equally lovely are original choices like a small piece of art you painted inspired by her personality. Or a pair of crystal flutes engraved with one of her favorite quotes — it is personalization, but not something you can order in ten minutes out of a phone app.

In conclusion…

Finding the perfect gift doesn’t have to be your goal — just “really nice” is more achievable, and it works. As long as you are open to spending your dollars on something meaningful and put a little time into your research, you will know what to get her.

I hope this helps, men. Happy Holidays!