The Beauty in Life is Your Presence
By: Rica Ilagan
Tags: Personal Development, Moments, Japan, Life, Rest

You can’t wait for things to slow down, you need to make time to slow down.

Photo by Masaaki Komori on Unsplash

Every year, I usually travel to Japan with my family during the spring. We end up coming right after the cherry blossoms fall, and their petals streak the sidewalks of the city. Having seen them before, I never minded the fact that I missed seeing them bloom on the trees. I knew they were beautiful. But today my heart yearns to know them again, to see them blossom on the trees, and to smell the aroma in the air. Because now, I don’t know when I’ll see them again.

It’s in these times, I wish I slowed down then, to appreciate where I was, who I was with, what I could feel, what I could see. My mind was always on the thought, Where would I go next? What’s the next stop on our journey? Yet to be in that specific moment, when would I get that chance again?

These days I wonder, when’s the next time I get to see my friends in person, and not worry about going outside? When’s the next time I could watch a live concert? To sing at the top of my lungs, and forget the world like I used to?

The times I was able to travel, to hangout with my friends, to watch a concert, and so many mundane things I’ve experienced are gone. Their time has passed, but I always treasure them. As much as I’d want to go back, I realize it’s not in the past that I could soak in the joy, but it’s in the now that I need to create it. Otherwise, the more my future self would be sad.

If we aren’t present in the moment, how could we expect ourselves to be happy and content in the future?

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned in being present, in being here. I continuously learn that life is not lived in the past or the future, but right here. I’m no guru, nor am I the epitome of being, but I try my best, and I hope I can share what I’ve learned with you.

Mono no aware

Mono no aware, literally translated to “the pathos of things,” or “the ahhness” of things, helps me question the way we see moments in our life. I would describe it as a bittersweet feeling, to know that things don’t last forever, and that is why we need to treasure the good times, and remember the pain and suffering will pass too. Everything changes, everything is transient. When we are open to this, the shifts in our lives are a bit easier to bare.

Winter turns to spring, the wind blows, the wind stops, the weather changes; nature is always changing. Similarly, people develop newfound interests, grow, change their feelings, and can shift their values. People can come into our lives, teach us, help us experience life, and then leave. Concerts aren’t 24/7, parties don’t rage all night, and get-togethers don’t span eternity. Everything changes, everything passes. We see that beautiful and mundane moments in our life don’t last forever. If they did, their value would become less, and we wouldn’t appreciate them as much. We learn to cherish moments because they are fleeting, we can only experience them in that time, in that space. Ahhh, what a time. Alternatively, the times we wish everything would just stop, or the moments we are full of pain and sadness, take their leave as well.

“The sun will rise, and we can try again.”

Allowing Ourselves to Feel

There are days we wish we didn’t have to live through. We wish we could skip this chapter of our lives. They’re painful, they’re frustrating, they’re sad. Yet, though they are uncomfortable, we must not push them away. Like everything, they are also fleeting. They have their time, and they go away. They pass, but only if we allow them to stay for a while, only if we allow ourselves to feel.

Let yourself be sad, let yourself be angry. They are what makes us human, there’s nothing wrong with them. In turn, let yourself be happy too. You deserve it.

Appreciating Moments

Imagine yourself on a train. You’ve been using your phone the whole ride to your destination while the scenery passes by. What if you had looked up? What if you looked out the window? Did you miss the sight of the trees, the mountains, the sea? Did you miss the faces of people whose eyes tell their story? Perhaps you’ve been on the same train ride day in and day out, but who’s to say you’ve seen everything the world has to offer?

The world is as you see it, slow, fast, boring, inspiring. However you want to see it, it’s always changing. Each day ends with a unique story, it’s up to you if you choose to listen.

Being

No matter how similar the days seem, it’s important we are present, that we are here. It’s easy to let our thoughts go astray, to be mindless, to say, “tomorrow.” Even though we wish things would slow down for us to collect ourselves, we cannot wait for things to slow down, we need to make time to slow down. To appreciate, to live, to be.

If you need to rest, rest. There’s no benefit in pushing yourself when you’re not okay. Be, don’t just do.