From passive victim to active hero (overcome failure)
By: Zainab Malik Noor
Tags: Success, Overcome Failure, Solutions, Happiness In Life

Everyone at some point face failure in their life, could be school failure, college disappointment, failing at university, not getting a job, having an unsuccessful relationship, or even failing yourself in small ways. We all faced it no arguments on that but where we differ is how we faced it, how we got through it, and how we overcome our failure!

I’ve faced many failures in my life such as bad grades in some subjects, difficult friendships but the main failure I faced was when I moved to Pakistan for my studies I had to live with my stepfamily, the culture wasn’t the problem neither any materialistic things but to get along with my stepfamily was quite difficult, small arguments, not agreeing on each other’s suggestion, fighting over small housework, etc. I was so stressed that I thought to move to the hostel but 1 day I was talking to my sister and she asked me if I am happy here! That moment it clicked in my mind that I’m not happy but I can try to be, I sit with myself and tried to think of all the possible problems and how to fix them.

The 1st problem was my relationship with them as a step member, 2nd I had been growing up with different culture and a different mindset, 3rd was my different habits and opposite routine.

I wrote down the problems and went to ask some friends for help, secondly, I gave myself a brainstorm to come up with solutions, I used to have a morning walk to clear my mind and start my day with positive vibes, then I started going to gym as well, all these small activities made me think differently, my mindset changed from being a passive victim to active hero.

I end up being kind to them and try as much as possible to have positive behavior with them, I started getting along with their routine and made little time for my own activities As well, I started sharing some recipes and doing housework together, started taking care of my stepmother, I end up with a peaceful relationship with my stepfamily.

Summarizing the points which helped me to become an active hero from a passive victim:

First of all own the problem, don’t run away or hide, just sit with yourself and think about the problem as a puzzle to be solved or a chance to be taken, decide to face it and make it part of a to-do list.

Then identify the problem, relax your mind, find a peaceful place to sit, have a walk-in beautiful scenery or just sit in your room, just try to make yourself as comfortable as possible and think about the problem.

Change the way you think about it, try thinking out of the box, try to view it from another angle.

Try to come up with solutions, think as much as possible ways to fix it, seek help from friends, relatives, and even use your social network if needed.

Start trying the solutions one by one, and with every try take feedback to know if it’s working or you need to try another solution.

Finally, keep trying, never lose hope, most of the successful people failed more than failures, the real failure is giving up and stop trying, so keep trying till you fix it, keep trying till you feel happy about the results.

Yeah at some point we think we can’t do it, give yourself time, relax and think with a clear mind, seek help, ask friends, relatives to guide you, try different solutions, change your mindset and never give up nor lose hope till you succeed in what you are failing.