My Story — part 2. Choice
By: Claire Elaine
Tags: Personal Growth, Spirituality, Awareness, Biography, Choices

Image by Jim Semonik from Pixabay

Choice

A couple of years after the clearing [see part 1] I came across an advertisement for a group meditation held at the church where I had received the message. Thinking meditation was all that was involved I toddled along in time for the next class and asked to join.

I was certainly welcome enough, but the woman taking the group [Lorraine] seemed confused as to why I hadn’t brought a flower with me. The advertisement had stated that the next meeting would be flowers. I didn’t know what that meant but assumed we would be using the imagery of flowers for the meditation, but no, an actual flower was needed so I was told to get a flower from one of the car-park's bushes without allowing anyone to see what I had picked.

Once inside everyone covertly placed their flowers under a cloth on a tray. A few formalities followed, everyone settled, and the meditation began. I hadn’t spent much time in group meditation so I, at first, felt a little awkward, the group energy that began to build soon took care of that, I calmed and relaxed. It is a nice way to meditate.

A short discussion of experiences took place at the meditations end, then the covered tray was passed around the circle with each person taking any one of the flowers not their own. At this point I still didn’t know what the flowers were for. Lorraine began talking something about impressions, feelings, emotions. Finally, I got it. We were expected to read the flower, or really, the energy of the person who had brought the flower. I had never heard of such a thing. I had of heard psychometry, of course, but not with a flower. This wasn’t what I had expected, I had come for the meditation.

I began to panic a bit, but even through the panic I could feel information bubbling up into my awareness. So, against all past belief or reasoning I sat there and calmly read the flower. No-one in the circle seemed at all surprised, but I sure was.

I had known, of course, that I had some ability, it’s just that I had never been asked to perform on the spot and I didn’t know I could. I had thought my form of psychic knowing had to be gifted to me at the appropriate times rather than be called up at will. Looking back, it’s as if before this episode I believed I didn’t have any choice in the matter. Possessing the ability to read others at will was a revelation to me.

I stayed with the group for quite some time, they were a lovely bunch of people. I had great fun reading all sorts of objects and learned much from this association. Eventually, for reasons I do not know, the group dissolved. I felt a little lost for a while, even though I hadn’t ever expected to actually “go” anywhere with this new knowledge, I again wondered why the cosmos should lead me to this beneficial situation only for it to dwindle away.

Maybe I simply needed to be shown what I was capable of when automatically accepted and encouraged. Maybe, or perhaps the teaching here really was about choice.

I realized through this episode that up until then I had been living a huge amount of my life switched off to anything other than accepted reality. I still do, apart from the time I spend channelling my awareness and perception is reined in, closed up. I don’t feel that this is a necessarily bad thing, as I am sure any fellow empath would agree.

I am guessing this reining in, probably, unconsciously began in early life. If this is so I bear no regret. The human survival instinct is strong in all of us from the moment of birth, and if my younger self deemed this action necessary it’s okay with this older self.

The obvious difference now is that I am fully aware of my right of conscious choice. Not just in this matter, but in all matters, we have much say in our way of being.

When I lost the outlet provided by the group I could have sought out another group, I could have looked for a mentor to help hone my abilities, I could have , perhaps, become confident enough to begin reading for clients, but I happily did none of this. I instead returned for a while to ordinariness.

I do not believe it to be true that only a few are gifted with psychic ability, levels may differ, awareness of ability may differ, but everyone possesses the raw form of it. Its expression may be suppressed for many reasons, not all of them negative, sometimes its muteness is part of a teaching for a life plan. Few people live without basic intuition though, and I think that is often enough.

Some very talented people can easily walk their chosen path with one foot in each of the worlds. I have the greatest respect for those who do, and for the gifts they are willing to share. I know I have benefited greatly from any readings I have been fortunate enough to receive and I certainly do not mean to dismiss the worth of the comfort good readings can provide to someone in need, but I believe many people often do not need to know the things they are told through them.

Sometimes it is best to rely on our own intuitive knowing while living a life in solid, ordinary reality, that is what most of us are mainly here for after all.

So, with these sentiments in mind my return to ordinariness proved no hardship. About four years ago I did, however, join another group that, among other things, involved psychic development. Again, with a lovely group of people who taught and gave me much. It was through this association that the channelling came to the fore.

I hadn’t known that those I channelled for myself over years were capable of delivering broader teachings to anyone who would “trigger” them. With this development I again seemed to be confronted with a choice. Do I continue to hone my reading skills or do I concentrate on the teachings coming through?

As I was, and am, a terrible tarot reader [really useless, give me an object any day] and as I felt the teachings held more depth, this choice was easy to make.

So, for now, I hold fast to this choice, the choice I have so far consciously made twice. I wonder how many more times I will be presented with the same choice. One thing I know for sure is that I won’t be trying to read my own tarot cards to find the answer — no point. So, I think, as I believe so many of us should, that I will just keep toddling along not really knowing what to expect.

Who knows maybe I’ll find something even more surprising than talking flowers.

Claire.