The Zookeeper, the Penguins, and the Panther
By: Bridget Webber
Tags: Short Story, Relationships, Fiction, Humor, Stories

Florence was a zookeeper. A splendid job if you enjoy the early morning elephant washing and throwing fish into the gaping mouths of hippos before sunset. She didn’t care for these tasks, but had a crush on the attendant who took care of the penguins.

“I became a zookeeper because I wanted to get close to penguin life. I wanted to know all about penguins in every way. The average penguin, as I learned, can’t fly. They can, nonetheless, arc through the sky as they leap for joy.”

That’s what Florence said when our interview began, but it’s clear she wasn’t entirely honest about her feelings.

As head zookeeper, Florence had to ensure the safety of her customers. She went to great lengths to make sure the man-eating-spiders were full before patrons roamed the zoo. She also shut the walruses in their enclosure before the fishmonger visited.

“I take my job seriously. If I didn’t bother to look after the zoo, nobody would. It’s a hard job. But it’s worthwhile.”

Florence can often be seen spying on the penguin attendant. Sometimes, she waddles to-and-fro in an attempt to get his attention. He’s not interested though.

“I don’t know why the penguin man doesn’t like me. I dress monochrome to please, yet, he doesn’t notice. I’ve considered eating fish as a staple diet to make me more penguin-like. At present, however, I eat whatever I fancy.”

I asked Florence if she thinks, one day, her penguin man will fall for her, and this was her reply.

“No. I doubt it. Not unless he slips on a herring.”

I interrupt this story with breaking news. Since the interview took place, the penguins went missing, and Florence was the first person to assume responsibility for their loss and look for them. She has this to say:

“I know It’s my job. I must see to the welfare of the penguins.”

I could tell she was holding something back. Had she instigated the disappearance of the penguins? When I spoke to the penguin attendant, he was most alarmed. He issued this remark:

“At the same time as the panther too.”

I asked Florence what was going on.

“Oh yes. The panther got out this morning while I was hanging the chimpanzee’s napkins on the line. It doesn’t help that I forgot to feed him I suppose…”

Everyone lost hope in finding the penguins by the time the evening came, and Florence headed to her office to think about a herring sandwich. As she approached the room, she saw a shadowy silhouette slink past the window. I asked her what she was thinking at that point.

“I wondered if the shadow was something to do with the penguins I had stashed in my room. Penguins like to run and play, and they were bound to arc about while I wasn’t there.”

I asked her if she was worried the panther might have found them. Especially since he was famished. As I spoke, she went pink, stuttered, and ran to her office to check. When she returned to carry on with the interview, she said:

“The panther didn’t eat the penguins. They are a few feathers short of the usual variety of penguins now, but they are okay.”

You might wonder if the whole incident bought the penguin man and Florence closer together, but it didn’t. The panther, however, is pleased and the penguins are back in their penguin house. I asked Florence if she had learned anything from the episode.

“No. Not really. Only that it’s best to lock the panther cage before you hide penguins in your office. Also, I’ve decided not to eat fish.”