Why I’m Open About Being Mentally Ill
By: Yvonne Handy
Tags: Mental Illness, Mental Health, Self, Advocacy, Bipolar

It’s not the right choice for everyone but it is for me

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Talking about mental health can be tricky. Mental health issues, such as bipolar disorder, have always been stigmatized in our society. Because mental illness is not something that you can see, people don’t always believe that it’s there. There is no black and white testing that can definitively state that someone has a mental illness like you do when diagnosing a physical disorder such as diabetes.

Thus, when you are diagnosed with a mental illness, it can be extremely difficult to “come out” with it so to speak. Because of the stigma, many people keep it to themselves or only tell very close family members. I completely understand why. But, I’ve made a different choice for myself. I also have the privilege to do so.

Approximately 4.4% of the population of the United States struggles with bipolar disorder. It’s fairly even between men and women. I received my bipolar diagnosis in 2009 after I had what I call my bipolar breakdown. The symptoms hit me rather suddenly and life changed instantly.

Being open about my bipolar disorder, along with other mental health issues such as generalized anxiety disorder and ADHD, is the right decision for me. It didn’t start out that way. I had to ease into the diagnosis, how I felt as a mentally ill person, and get used to that particular label. It can be a hard thing to come to terms with.

One of my main motivations for being open about my bipolar disorder in real life, as well as here on Medium, is that the media often shows a very skewed picture of what bipolar disorder is actually like.

The way it’s dramatized and used as fodder in the media, it’s just not super realistic nor does it really represent most of us with bipolar disorder.

I want people to know that bipolar does not always look like that. If you didn’t know that I have bipolar disorder, you’d never really know. I’m a white lady in my early 40s, living in Austin, with my husband, daughter, and two crazy cats. I’ve been stable on medication for approximately 5 years now.

I’m a writer, a friend, a mother, a daughter, a wife — just trying to live my best life.

I’m open about being mentally ill with friends and potential friends, people that I know. I don’t go around announcing it, of course. I feel that if someone is going to judge me, not want to be my friend, or be around me because of my disorder, good riddance. I just don’t have time for those people and don’t want them in my life, at all. Luckily, I have amazing friends. Many of them are also bipolar and I met them through the bipolar support group that I co-organize.

I’ve written using a pen name throughout my writing career. When I signed up for Medium, I really wasn’t sure whether I should continue writing with a pen name, or sign up using my real name. I knew that I wanted to mostly write about mental health and this was kind of a new level of openness. I finally decided to write under my real name and I’m so glad that I did.

Of course, I realize that part of the reason that I’m able to be open is due to privilege. People have different situations in their lives and it isn’t so black and white. That’s why I’d never tell anyone else that they should be open about having bipolar disorder. What I’ve learned at my bipolar group is that there are vast cultural differences in how bipolar disorder or mental health issues are perceived. For some, being open about their mental illness can lead to real strife within a family or within their community.

Another issue that a lot of people deal with is whether or not to be open at work. The truth is that being open at work can have a number of consequences. The stigma is real. However, if you need special accommodations due to having a mental illness, it might be the correct choice to share with your workplace.

I personally had to leave my career behind when I had what I call my bipolar breakdown. I went on short-term disability and was never able to go back. That’s when I pivoted and started my writing career. So, I’ve personally not had to make the decision as to whether to be open at work as I’ve been self-employed for years now.

I hope that over time, as the years go on, mental health stigma will lessen and that more people will be comfortable being open about being mentally ill. The more we humanize the issue, the better. All I know is that I will continue to write about this illness openly, share my struggles with friends and family, and be true to myself.