Self Help
By: Daniel Caruana Smith
Tags: Life Lessons, Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Mental Health, Psychology

The self-help genre is an interesting one. Some discredit it, putting it down to sentimental nonsense aimed at the easily gullible. The garish, often colorful books that deal with the subject and proclaim overblown results do not help its cause. In contrast, others swear by them, pronouncing them to be the alpha-to-omega of emotional education.

As with most things, the reality is somewhere in between. It would be a mistake to think that the answer to all our emotional trials is that simple. On the other hand, the notion of self-help can’t be discredited completely.

“If we borrow a page out of physics, we find that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The same can be said about our emotional states if they are in balance.”

Looking back through history will find various instances where great minds sought to answer complex questions by delving into their own self. Aristotle, Cicero, and Marcus Aurelius to name a few, all turned to works of self-help to decipher the challenges of their times. When the first seeds of the French Revolution began to sprout, philosophers such as Voltaire also sought to understand the changes occurring both internally and externally.

If we borrow a page out of physics, we find that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The same can be said about our emotional states if they are in balance. For every external action we perceive, there tends to be a reaction. The issue arises when our reaction is either unequal or at a tangent to the original action. This leads to confusion or anxiety.

“The ‘self-help’ genre is an interesting one. Some discredit it, putting it down to sentimental nonsense aimed at the easily gullible. Others swear by it, pronouncing it to be the alpha-to-omega of emotional education.”

We are compelled to explore the laws of physics, and in the same way, we feel the need to understand ourselves emotionally. It’s normal. No matter what our IQ scores may be, we are all aware (to some degree or other) of how brief our lives are, and therefore feel the need to better understand ourselves to make the most of our existence. Perhaps a rather bleak way of looking at it, but a sincere one.

When we look at ourselves in this light, the notion of self-help suddenly makes a lot more sense. The concept is solid enough but veiled in a mistrusting light that discourages interpretation and exploration. Our egos also play a part in this — no one likes to admit that they need help, especially when it is about a topic as sensitive as emotional intelligence. No one wants to appear stupid, in any field of life.

“No matter what our IQ scores may be, we are all aware of how brief our lives are, and therefore feel the need to better understand ourselves and make the most of our existence.”

In reality, there could be little more instructive works than those that guide and console us during times of confusion. To progress towards a more emotionally intelligent self, one has to accept the possibility of finding answers in a widely discredited genre, along with all the potential pitfalls it may entail. This is a hard concept to grasp — we are used to learning the correct knowledge academically, so the idea that we might be taught something wrong troubles us.

“From Eratosthenes to Neil Armstrong, few of our ancestors made strides for humankind by following in other’s footsteps.”

The moral of the story? If we are to continue our journey towards a more complete emotional understanding, then being open to new, unproven concepts is essential. There is nothing to be gained by escaping the unknown, other than remaining in a complacent state of comfort. From Eratosthenes to Neil Armstrong, few of our ancestors made strides for humankind by following in other’s footsteps.