Rewind.
By: Hrithika Choudhary
Tags: 2020, Life, Pride, Love, Lessons Learned

December and 2020, two endings - one of what seems like the longest year ever and the other of what seems like a decade that just started yesterday (I swear I still remember so many of my firsts - the first time I got drunk, first kiss, first love and subsequently first heartbreak, the first time I cried for days or even months over a man called RD Sharma because his maths problems were way beyond my comprehension, the first time I moved out of home, first trip with friends on a budget, first job, first paycheck and so on)

Along the way, there are some things that I had to learn the hard way (for which I blame my decision making abilities, or lack thereof) and some things that I'm still learning (like how to initiate a conversation on a dating app)

Here are my two cents on few important things that I have learnt thus far (that no one asked for so feel free to not read the whole thing but it'd be nice if you did :) )

1.Choose Yourself - Every day, every minute, every second of the day, before you choose anyone else, choose yourself.

2.Traveling is never a bad idea - Solo, with your girlfriends, with your partner, with the new friend you made at that house party you didn't want to go to - never deny any opportunity to travel because you will end up regretting it (sooner or later)

3. Not everyone will understand you and that's okay - because it's exhausting to constantly live in a world which requires us to explain every little thing that we do. It's tough to please everybody, someone will end up getting hurt (intentionally or unintentionally) and I guess the sooner we accept it, the easier it gets.

4.Forgiveness is therapeutic - Why would you want to let anyone stay in your head rent free? Forgive, even if they don't apologise, and move on.

5. Say NO when you have to - I couldn't, for the longest time but when I started to, it made my life a lot simpler. Paulo Coelho once said "When you say yes to others make sure you're not saying no to yourself"

6. Success vs Progress - Don't measure success, measure progress. We live in a society where it's typical for us to label someone as "successful" if they've got a swanky car, more number of followers, a picture perfect relationship (the ones which make you go "aww" whether you like it or not), a fancy job.. about time we realise that success looks different for everyone and we couldn't be further from the truth when we try to generalise it with our filters.

7. Authenticity is Sexy - You're not attractive as long as you pretend to be someone you're not. The concept is dichotomous by nature as even though this should be the easiest thing to do, being authentic, yet it's what most of us struggle the most with. Never trade your authenticity for approval.

8. Kindness is underrated - You have the power to change someone's day and bring a smile to their face, well that's something!

9. Engage in more conversations around mental health - It might just save a life, try it. The best thing you can do for someone who needs support is to be there for them and to LISTEN to what they're saying. Also, if you're feeling low, reach out to someone close (I can lend a pair of ears if that helps). Brene Brown says "Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love"

10. Always buy an extra bottle of wine - It's never a bad idea (unless you have a serious issue with alcoholism, then don't)

11. Accept and promote Pride - It takes a special kind of dummy to think that anyone who identifies as LGBTQA is "disoriented". Educate yourself and others around you (and for god's sake don't tell them that they're "broken", "confused" or "looking for attention"). There are no rules which define how to be yourself 🏳️‍🌈

If you made it till the end of this post, thank you for reading this. I'm not sure if any of this resonated with you, it's perfectly fine if it didn't because the intent of this post is not to preach but just to share my experience/learnings from the last couple of years. However if some of it did strike a chord with you then Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Let's celebrate all our failures,wins, big or small milestones and step into 2021 (and a new decade) with hopes of unlimited adventures ❤️