Semantics. A survival guide for women founders.
By: Stret H
Tags: Startup, Funding, Women, Positive Thinking

I do it, we all do it. We get a lot of crap and that meaning hovers over us. When we tell others, we tend to say generalizations to not name names and to be polite. We also tend to take on negative criticisms into our personal bubble for various reasons. Our companies are a part of us whether we realize it or not. So I’ve decided to create a top 10 list for reprogramming what you hear to stay positive so that you no longer carry these burdens with you as you go about building your companies. We all need to win because we do give back to our communities and little girls everywhere are watching, just as you once did. We are capable of building great things, let’s keep our minds healthy.

Chicken and Egg problem. What they are really saying is I don’t invest this early or I am repeating something I heard because I have no clue what I’m talking about so I will say it because it’s my default setting. If it’s the first, they are really saying, I want you to go out and shoot all but a few of the chickens and make me some eggs too. What you should think is — I don’t cook chicken dinners on the first date. What you should do → Go make the money yourself. If you need investment, don’t count on them to get you there. They don’t have the ability to get you there. They don’t own a shot gun, they aren’t going to finance it or the frying pan or the beater, or the coop. You’re on your own and it’s better to eat with someone who will at least go half on the groceries so you aren’t living in the dark ages. ;-) Sell Cupcakes. What they are really saying is I think you’re a woman so do womanly things and I want to see how you would run a business first. What you need to tell yourself they said — — I’m an asshole. I only doubted you because well, I’m an asshole. I see a 19 year old kid from UT with snap chat v 2 and think everyone is going to use that because everyone already has and they raised billions. But there’s no way you could run a business even though you’re the only person who knows what going concern means in this entire pool of applicants. What you need to ask yourself → Do I want an investor who thinks so little of me he pissed on my MBA and past sales experience, app experience, and entire career to tell me to go sell something I’m not passionate about and barely profitable? What you should do → if you want to have a couple million or need to learn business basics, go bake cupcakes. If you want to solve a problem or make real money, put him on the assholes don’t get holiday cupcakes mailing list when you finally make it. I’m truly trying to get over this one, but they have NEVER asked my male counterparts to do the same. I’ll take a reprogramming suggestion from you all for this one. :-) But you’re Black-or- a Woman. What they are really saying is I am racist and/or sexist. My entire life I have been told Black people or Women aren’t smart, articulate, or capitalists. I just figured you all were on a corner or pole somewhere selling crack or snatch. What you should hear? I never question anything and to do so would lay doubt to what my parents have told me and how society has told me to respond. I love my parents and want to fit in at all times. I’m not strong enough of a person to be open enough to think for myself or accept you for who you are. I can’t work with you for a common goal even if that common goal is money. You should get a job. What they are saying is, I don’t think you will make it because I am not going to support you or introduce you to anyone else who will. I don’t do things that are hard or require work and neither should you. What you should hear → I have no clue what it’s like to be a successful entrepreneur and my willful ignorance of it will hinder your progress. Best of luck! Find a college intern. What they are saying is, I don’t know the law, but I assume slave labor is how companies do it. What you should hear — -> I straight up don’t know what I’m talking about but I want to be helpful. You’re too pretty to be doing this. What they are saying is, all my blood left my head and if it hasn’t, I’m just a selfish jerk. What you should think → I am and… what you should reply → you are too! Like how do you get work and deals done. It must be so hard to be taken seriously and make money in your job. You’re not already funded. What they are saying is, I’m a follower and not a leader. What you should hear is → I lost money betting on the wrong person before and since then, I’m like a dog with a squeaky toy. I wait for someone else to pick it up before I think about it or touch it. You’re too nice. What they are saying is, I’m not a good person so I don’t think you can genuinely be good and successful too. What you should hear → I’ve been hurt and since then, I find it difficult to be good to myself and others. You make the decision to be kind and I am just not that strong. I didn’t make it and neither will you. What they are saying is, I am better than you. What you should hear → I don’t want to be the only one that doesn’t succeed. If you make it I am afraid that it means I wasn’t good enough rather than I quit too soon or didn’t pick the right vision. You have no value. What they are saying, I have on blinders. I have no clue what it takes to build a successful company and think success has 5 men at the helm and we’ll start supporting the Black and Latino men before you because bros before hoes. What you should picture — -> them pitching investors in 3–5 years using your company name to describe their next idea or investment request.

Keep working & glowing! You are good, you have it and there’s no doubt that 2021 means change is here for a lot of Women Founders ;-)

What are some things you’ve heard along the way and how will you reprogram the negativity to keep your positivity alive?