Three Things to Consider When Buying Toys For a Child With Special Needs
By: Tiffany Cook
Tags: Special Needs Parenting, Parenting, Autism, Toys, Holiday Packages

Gifts Under The Christmas Tree — Photo courtesy of Pixabay

It is hard to believe that another holiday season is around the corner! It is right about now when a flood of memories comes rushing through my heart opening what feels to be a time tunnel in my mind. As my thoughts travel through this tunnel, pictures of cherished childhood Christmases — long come and gone — come into view. I remember the traditions, the dinners, the church services and the anticipation to see all those colorfully, and perfectly, wrapped packages underneath our happy little tree. Now that I am a wife and mother and largely tasked with making the holidays happen around our home, I have gained a new appreciation for all the work it took for my Mom and Grandma to create those Christmas memories for me. And, they did it in a world without Amazon!

However, despite all their endless labors, my husband and I face a challenge that they did not. We are raising a child with special needs — more to the point, a child with autism. Trying to figure out what happy surprises our sweet but barely verbal (used to be nonverbal) son would want underneath the tree has always been the big mystery since he was old enough (around age 3) to be aware of and care about his participation in holiday festivities. The question has become easier to answer every year as we have learned to take a few “measuring rods” under consideration when buying toys for him.

First, we look for toys that are developmentally appropriate. This means that we look for items that are not only recommended for our son’s physical age group but also consider his emotional age and current skillset. For example, our son Andy is seven-years-old and will turn eight this coming March; but, his skillset and social skills range from late kindergarten to mid-first grade. This means that, to start our toy search for him, we will begin by looking for toys that are recommended for children ages 6 (because in late kindergarten that is what age most children are becoming) to 8 years of age. This will put the toys we buy for our son appropriate for children in late kindergarten to those finishing the second grade. This will allow him to get toys that will be a source of easy fun as well as toys that will challenge him enough to encourage him to reach for new skills yet without frustrating him. It is also important to note that just as buying toys that are too difficult for your special needs child to use will invoke negative behaviors such as anger in order to protest, buying toys that are too “young” for them can solicit the same reaction. Remember, just because they may not be able to express boredom or insult, they still feel it! We experienced this with Andy when his very well-meaning grandmother bought him a toy last Christmas that was designed for children under two. She bought it just because it was a sorting toy, and she knows Andy likes to sort things. While this is true, his ability to sort things has risen far above that of a toddler. For example, he does not just sort by an attribute but his ability to categorize, a more advanced sorting application, is growing. And, he is also able to apply his sorting strengths to form geo-patterns using manipulatives like tangrams. While he got some momentary enjoyment from what his grandmother bought him just because it was a new toy in the house, the newness quickly faded when he realized that he mastered its use far too quickly. He just started scattering the pieces all around which, for him, is a sign of boredom. Fortunately, we have two younger children that got more use out of it than Andy.

Second, we consider any sensory challenges he might have. While Andy is very sensory-driven to where he does not mind getting his hands dirty or receiving a great big hug nor does he mind toys that light up, he does not really care for toys that are particularly loud. This can present a problem as most toys that light up also make noise, and sometimes loud noise; and, more often than not, the sound cannot be disabled without turning the toy completely off so it does not light up either. Consequently, we make sure that any noisy light-up toy we buy him comes with at least two settings for sound — low and high.

Third, we consider his interests. This factor is the one that takes precedence when we want to buy him toys that appeal to traditionally-developing children his age — i.e. boys 8–10 years of age. Spring-boarding from his interests when choosing toys for him intended for this age group allows us to get away with buying toys that are above his present emotional age and skillset with a lower risk of incurring those negative behaviors I spoke about earlier. This is because his interests are such for a reason. He has encountered it at some point and derived some level of pleasure from it. A great example of this is music. Andy loves music! We are thinking about buying him a keyboard. Such an instrument is well above him right now; but, since he loves music, it would draw his attention. However, with a few modifications, we can use some of Andy’s present skillsets to encourage him to the functional use of the keyboard. For instance, he knows his colors and most of his capital letters. He certainly knows the letters it takes to identify the keys on a keyboard — e.g. letters A through G. There are beginning piano books one can purchase that come with colored stickers that have the piano key letters on them. Inside the book, the musical pieces are written with the notes in color which corresponds to the color tags on the keys. Does anyone sense a maestro in the making?!

Considering the developmentally appropriateness of a toy while considering its sensory and interest value to Andy has definitely helped us hit the thumbs-up bulls-eye with Andy more often than not these days. That brings a smile to his face and, consequently, to ours too. Life is good!