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Santa brought you 2020… Waaah!!! — Day 23 of Simplicity
By: Mike Rusert
Tags: Love, Empathy, 2020, Listening, Spirituality

Day Twenty-three — Wonder — 25 Days of Simplicity

Here, kid.

Santa got you a gift.



The little girl shakes it. She knows immediately it’s a 2020,

and she starts screaming.

Tears.

It takes months to settle her down.



What a year.



What was under the wrapping paper for you?

How have your experienced this year?



Have you been stretched? Spared?

What suffering did this year bring? What loss?

What flaws or anxieties or struggles unwrapped?

What gifts or resiliency were uncovered?



What clarity is this year’s journey bringing?

Is it helping you re-member

what matters most to you? What you get to do with this

one

fragile

gift of a life?



This year, I have seen the best and worst of myself. I’ve seen it in others, too.



I’ve tried to hide what’s under my wrapping at times. And I’ve felt so much relief getting real with a trusted friend about my struggles. I’ve been re-humanized by hearing those same but different struggles embodied in their stories. In the stories of my community.



Maybe this is the greatest gift of all. The gift of the Real.



The freedom that comes — the connection — when we get real

about our struggles and pain

about our passions and gifts

about what really matters

about our beautifully flawed humanity



It seems to me,

that’s what Christmas is all about,

my fellow Charlie Browns.



Christmas is an invitation to be real.



It’s a story of the struggle and awe that is being human.



It’s a story that says risking being real

is, in actuality, Love.



As we come upon Christmas again,

risk being real.

Allow room for you to feel your feelings.

Allow yourself room to listen deeply to your life

and the year you’ve lived. Welcome it all with compassion.



And then, make space for others to be real.

Minister to one another through your listening.

Through patient empathy. Tears and laughter.

Good questions and silence.

Through a simple, “I hear you. I see you.”



It’s this practice of care-filled and gentle listening

— to self and other -

that will give us the courage to

face Santa Claus again

and accept the gift of 2021.

It’s this practice of listening and care

that will empower us to create something wonder-full with it.





Peace and breath and the courage to be Real
The Curse of the Fatigued Empathizer
By: Synthia S.
Tags: Emotions, Psychology, Empathy, Mental Health, Self Improvement

When I am at my most fatigued, it seems that some people find my words particularly impactful. It’s a strange pattern that I’ve noticed recently and one that I recognize to not be beneficial in the long-term.

For example, let’s say I’m at my most optimal state. It’s early morning, I’ve slept well, had a hearty breakfast, and I have some kind of correspondence to attend to, like a Zoom chat.

I might find myself engaging in some very professional discussions with another person. I feel that I am particularly straightforward and reasonable, and the other person will reciprocate in the same manner.

The stressors of my life are packaged in a box far away from myself. No one needs to see these stressors because, at that moment, I am absolutely mindful of my immediate surroundings.

Plus, I like to keep it classy and professional.

Photo by Jesse Ramirez on Unsplash — My stress is hidden away. No, you can’t take the box with you.

I am generally attentive to the person I am speaking to, so I make sure to be receptive to them, in both my mind and body. By now, I’ve almost forgotten about the stressors of the past and the ongoing deadlines that are looming on the horizon.

This, my friends, is how I conceptualize active mindfulness. It has not been easy to maintain, but I still have it in the bag.
When we are open to receiving, we learn.
By: Pockett Dessert
Tags: Empathy, Self Improvement, Life, Life Lessons

When we are open to receiving, we learn. A wonderful reflection on self-growth and explanation for empathy. Laura, thank you for sharing.
Empathy can and should be learned.
By: Pat Timmons
Tags: 2021 Trends, 2021 Prediction, Empathy, Marketing, 2021

This year was hell.

We don’t have to dwell on it but, yeah I think we can all agree this year was tough for every single one of us. This mutual suffering that we all have and still are enduring will not magically stop in 2021. The key for progress in the new year will be empathy.

A ton of people are experiencing life in different ways, with different perspectives, and with different anxieties. Understanding that is the only way we will get through this.

You may be saying — slow down Pat, I thought empathy was a trait that only certain people have? They feel things that others feel and it is sort of like magic. ✨

Nope. You are thinking of empaths. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. You don’t have to FEEL those feelings to practice empathy — you just have to understand them and share them. Anyone can learn how to practice empathy.

Did I lose you? Maybe… If not, keep reading.

We know the importance of empathy, we know that all people can learn it, but how do we learn and practice it?

Be curious about how people are feeling right now.

Empathy starts with curiosity. If you are not curious about the lives of your audience, customers, employees, etc., you are doomed from the start. You have to want to learn about the people you want to talk to. Once that curiosity is strong, research your audience with a hyper-relevant lens. Understand what is happening right now and read the room (with social listening or simple reading) and determine what feelings are prevalent.

Understand their feelings with them.

Let your audience know that you hear them. That their feelings are valid, understood, and that you feel them too. This step will make it clear that you care and will bring trust to your relationship.

Describe those feelings.

They know that you are feeling it too but you need to prove it. Share something emotional on how you can relate to what they are feeling and communicate it clearly to them. Let them know that they are heard.

Action on those feelings.

Okay I said the word feelings a lot but, it is important. Understanding the emotions of your stakeholders is the most important part of business. People make decisions based on emotion and now it is time for you to take action based on emotion. After you do the steps above, share how these feelings will directly take action. This could be as simple as sharing a resource related to the feelings discussed or committing to a new initiative in the organization. Show the receipts of your empathy.

I am pumped to see empathy emerge even more in 2021 as businesses realize the importance of it.

If you want to continue learning about empathy with me, text me at 615–855–0404 to be the first to know about the updates on my book coming out in August 2021.

Thank you,

Pat
Empathy and Expression — the Inequality of Language and Meaning Lost by Privilege
By: Amanda Hanemaayer
Tags: Culture, Language, Empathy, Life Lessons, Education

Pulling back the ivory weighted curtains that hung just beyond the entrance of Das Möbel, I was greeted by a host of familiar sounds: the gentle chiming of metal cutlery; the wheezing breath of an espresso machine already exhausted by mid-morning, and the shuffling of a wooden bar stool rescinded from its place as someone stood to leave. Normally, the notes of many coinciding conversations would join together to form their own sort of chorus, juxtaposed against the rhythms of movement and exchange. Occasionally the sound of playful laughter between two strangers settling into an awkward first date, or the excitement of old friends reconnecting unexpectedly, may catch my attention for a moment, but these voices were different — not aggressive, as many English-speakers would presume of the German tongue, but perceptibly more honest. I couldn’t eavesdrop if I wanted to, but I was fascinated by the poetic unfamiliarity of nearly every uttered word.

I claimed a seat at the only available table, with a window view of sunny Burggasse street and a detailed map of Vienna’s Inner Stadt hanging on the adjacent wall. A waitress approached soon after to request my order. Fumbling over a few too many consonants before eventually catching my breath, I asked for a simple latte and a croissant, in what I thought was the correct progression of vocabulary. But recognizing my amateur attempt at proper German grammar or perhaps the blatant absence of an accent in my voice, she responded in English.

Although a bit dismayed that my first unsolicited attempt at conversing in the language was met with an albeit gracious deferral, it was comforting to once again feel at ease in a place still so foreign. But reflecting back on the encounter, I am in fact not embarrassed by my broken phrases or vocabulary, but rather by my privilege. The reality is that I felt comfortable defaulting back to my first language, while English was indefinitely her second or third.

Although this was only a simple interaction, with no great degree of inherent consequence, the circumstance was enough to give me reason for pause, because the underlying principle exerts itself as true across many domains. Amid a global population of approximately 7.5 billion people, only about 360 million speak English as their first language. Yet, as a recognized official language in 67 countries and 27 other non-sovereign territories, and the unofficial lingua franca in countless other contexts, English dominates our discussions on business, science, literature and diplomacy, carrying with it the false entourage of progress and development. But why is that English draws closer to a situation of linguistic exclusionism, wherein anything disseminated in another language is somehow depreciated before its full value can even truly be grasped? Perhaps because those of us privileged enough to speak the language as our first, allow it to do so.
Albert Schweitzer — Out of My Life and Thought
By: Prabindh Sundareson
Tags: Love, Empathy, Hope, Eschatology, Faith

By Nobel Foundation — http://nobelprize.org/, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9719568

Albert Schweitzer dedicated his life to a strong purpose of empathy towards fellow human beings. One of his biggest contributions — the work at the hospital at Lambarene. He found the concept of “The Reverence For Life”…

In his book, “Out of my life and thought”, Albert talks about the Pauline philosophy — of the three ideals — Faith, Hope and Love. Out of these, love, he (Paul) says is the highest ideal.

Love is the highest ideal

A question arises though — Can love sprout when there is no hope ? I think this is where the concept of Eschatology comes in.

Eschatology is a part of theology concerned with the final events of history, or the ultimate destiny of humanity. This concept is commonly referred to as the “end of the world” or “end times”, when God will provide justice.

Unless there is a faith, a hope in the prevailing of ultimate justice, can love of fellow human beings sustain itself ?
Damaged Souls
By: Hayley Bolan
Tags: Poem, Broken, Empathy, Dark, Healing From Trauma

Damaged Souls

We’re the ones who love the hardest. The love Illuminating off our skin. A simple touch, you feel the vibrate.

Photo by Amirali Mirhashemian on Unsplash.

We’re the ones who care the most. The empathy snug around us like a turtleneck. Hi, Hello, How are you, Have a great day. Taking in all sorts of energy.

Timeless moments stuck at a standstill. Flashbacks, imagery, words. But a smile, hidden so well, you wouldn’t even notice the pain.

Time will pass, some memories forgotten, some still there. Healing is a process, we’ll get there. Each day feels like climbing up a stairwell.

Never knowing what will come next, preparing for when it hits. Slightly guarded, but moving forward.

We’ve been through hell, caught under a spell of trauma. We can’t just wish it away, it’s like a witch attached to our backs. Clinging onto the scars.

We’re living timebombs. One wrong thought, and we’re back to square one.

Life can be cruel, but we are the masterminds of love and trauma. If we can embrace the curse, it’s easy to control.

It’s a never ending cycle until we break it. Crushing it into a million pieces with our inner strength. Using love, empathy and compassion as a weapon for the greater good.

Healing ourselves and others, Slowly putting ourselves back together. It’s a dark world, but the light doesn’t have to be tucked away forever.

Hayley Bolan, 12/2020. All rights reserved.
Decoding Transformation: Pragmatic Series
By: Ramprasad Ramasamy
Tags: Pragmatism, Design Thinking, Tree Of Life, Empathy

‘Pragmatism’ series#5: “Design thinking Concept — Striving to be a Modern-day Kalpavriksha”

From the ancient information archives of the sub-continent culture, there are proofs of practices followed by kingdoms rewarding their citizens for any act of good deed. The rewards were granting the wishes of the citizens. Another similar mention of a belief from the ancient information archives is a wish-fulfilling tree called Kalpavriksha.

The ‘belief of wish-fulfilling tree’ is unconditional in giving vis-à-vis the ‘practices of wishing and granting’ is conditional during the kingdom rule.

Almost in all the religions, there is a mention of the wish-fulfilling tree through their sculptures, carvings, and literature. The tree structure or representation may differ, but the same belief is ingrained.

Key Inferences of Kalpavriksha:

It epitomizes Infinite possibility. Provides hope and confidence to the human community to aspire more.

It epitomizes Knowledge Personification. Showcases how sporting a positive mindset can unearth human potential to fulfill any desire.

It is as if the tree is performing a two-step process:

a) Listens to the wisher with empathy

b) Unconditionally fulfilling the wishes

What ‘Empathic listening’ is to knowledge, ‘Fulfilling the wishes’ is to Infinite possibilities.

The Design thinking Concept Alignment:

A widely popular concept over the last two decades and being adopted at a faster pace. Thanks to technological advancement, embracing design thinking by any enterprise will enable them to be nimble and sustainable and have a continuous competitive advantage for the overall progress.

A simple definition of Design Thinking is identifying the unarticulated needs of a customer to create products or services that will fulfill their needs.

Understanding your customers need with empathy is important. Most of the time, wishes or desires of the customers are not explicit. Multiple technological methods are employed that bled psychological information with experiential ways to identify specific or close to the need and fulfill it through their products or services.

At the core, this approach is like the two-step process of the wish-fulfilling tree, Kalpavriksha. The difference is a financial transaction that takes place; hence it is conditional.

Originally in the business world, the concept of ‘design’ was attributed to the production or manufacturing of a physical product (Object) — the Object produced is designed first. Later, product designing for the production process became key input in constructing the present-day ‘design thinking’ concept.

At an individual level, I wish for ‘cultivating a happier mindset always’ from the ever grateful and granting ‘kalpavriksha’.

What knowledge is to ‘being grateful and sharing’,

What fulfilling the wishes is to ‘happiness’.

What is your wish from the modern-day ‘Kalpavriksha’ as we approach 2021?

Have you read?

Credits: Linked quote and images available freely on the Public Internet. Respective trademarks owned by corresponding firms
‘Youth Leadership in Uncertain Times’
By: Peacejam South Africa
Tags: Youth Development, Peacebuilding, Compassion, Empathy, Youth Empowerment

As the world grapples with unprecedented challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, young people are demonstrating their continued leadership in their communities and countries. We can argue the fact that young people are some of the most affected by the pandemic’s socio-economic impacts. Nevertheless, youth are also among the most active in this global response to help alleviate the mammoth task of helping coordinate and manage the community emergency at grassroots level.

Not only are they on the frontlines as health workers, but they are also advancing health and safety in their roles as researchers, activists, innovators, and communicators. As such, decision-makers and potential donors must commit to ensuring youth voices are part of the solutions for a healthier, safer, and gender-equal world.

In the light of the pandemic, we have witnessed an irreversible necessity to evolve, overlap and merge different cultures — particularly in Cape Town, South Africa. As a peacebuilding organisation, we are increasingly searching for sensible ways to identify opportunities to help breakdown cultural barriers with the tact and sensitivity that will enhance intercultural collaborative success. Coaching and Peacebuilding with a cultural emphasis, we believe are essential to learning the specific skill sets needed to transcend cultural boundaries.

Our training involves the sharing of information across different cultures and social groups, including individuals with different religious, social, ethnic, and educationational backgrounds. It seek to understand the differences in how people from variety of cultures act, communicate, and perceive the world around them.

This training will be incredibly important to breaking down cultural barriers and building awareness of cultural norms, as well as enhancing self-awareness and communication skills amongst young adults. We are working to remove cultural barriers by teaching analysis and interpretation for cross-cultural interactions, including the impact of culture on conflict and communication at various levels.

PeaceJam South Africa

www.peacejam.org

www.mentoringpeacebuilders.org

#compassioninaction

#compassion

#empathy

#peacejamsa

#mentorinngpeacebuilderssa
my friend is sad and that makes me sad
By: Serena Manzi
Tags: Chosen Family, Empathy, Love, 2020, Holidays

Chosen family is special. Chosen family can mean more than blood family sometimes because nobody told you to love them. You just do. Those people who your kids will one day explain to their friends that “oh that’s my mom’s best friend, I call her auntie” or “we aren’t related but they’re still family, Karen…” and so on. They become those people who everyone associates with you. The ones who are a given when you make family vacation plans, or holiday plans, or taco Tuesday plans. Everyone has those people in their life. I’ve known my mom’s best friend since I was born. She comes to every family party we have and then some. I spent every New Year’s Day with her family. I have a friend like that too, the kind of friend who’s come over my house for Sunday lunch ever since we were in second grade, and who still goes and visits my mom now that I’ve moved away. My dad’s best friend was also present almost every weekend of my childhood. We all knew when he arrived from his signature knock on our kitchen door. He brought me to buy my first car. Helped my dad build my childhood bedroom. I have a friend who I only met three years ago, and we started off on a very different path than the friendship we’ve embarked on since, but somehow there they are. One of my favorite people. Sometimes you meet your people early in life, sometimes later. It doesn’t matter how you meet them. What matters is that you meet them.

I want to remind you that you’re that person to someone. The one whose knock on their front door makes them grin because “it’s Ed!” and the one whose kids are excited about seeing on New Year’s. The one your dog loves the most. The one your cat crawls out of their napping spot to greet. The one you call when you crashed your car, or chopped off part of your finger, or got engaged, or got unengaged, or because you’re driving and want to feel like someone is in the car with you, or whatever it is. This year has really drilled in that people are important. People matter. Without each other, what’s the point? I used to struggle to find the meaning of life or whatever, and I’ve stopped searching because I don’t think I’ll ever truly know why any of us are here or where we came from or where we’ll go. All I know is that while we are here, we live for each other. Whether or not you believe that, I think it’s the truth. And it shows up in our lives in different, nuanced ways for everyone. And sometimes your chosen family includes your blood family, because believe it or not, as adults we get to choose who we keep around. Family doesn’t have to look one specific way to be valid. Love is valid, period. So if you’re reading this, we love you. Your chosen family, me, the universe. We love you. We are glad you’re here. We are glad to know you. And we’ve gotcha.

Here’s to you. And to us. And to platonically choosing people for life. We love that. Happy holidays from your neighborhood coffee addict. Raising a mug to y’all in solidarity on this annoyingly warm December day in Miami. Take care of yourselves ❤

-Nen
Empathy is not lost, we need to awaken and strengthen it to neutralize the ego separating us
By: Zsolt Hermann
Tags: Survival, Empathy, Ego, Education, Humanity

Question from the Internet:

“Is empathy being evolved out of humans so that each generation has less and less?”

No, empathy is not “being evolved out of Humans”. We still have the ability for empathy. On the other hand, Human evolution is the chronicle of the ever-growing, insatiable Human ego.

Thus our egotistic, individualistic, narcissistic tendencies have intensified through millennia until our own generation when we have completely separated from each other, we do not even want to build families any longer, as each person only wants to serve, fulfill, love themselves — mostly at the expense of others.

We have become completely self-obsessed, our upbringing, education, and especially the societal influence drives us only towards self-fulfillment, self-protection, individual pursuit of happiness. As a result — seemingly paradoxically — we are becoming increasingly frustrated, unhappy, empty, depressed, we consume more and more addictive substances and dive into the brainless, aimless “circus and bread” entertainment — but nothing helps.

It is because deep down we are social creatures, we need empathy, mutual support, mutually complementing cooperation in order to survive — like cells of the same body. By our individualistic, egotistic, narcissistic drive we are literally killing ourselves like cancer!

This is why now Human survival — our collective survival since we cannot survive without each other — depends on a very special educational method, which can help us strengthen that long-forgotten empathy, inclination towards mutual connections, “love of others” in us. Only when such a mutually generated, methodically acquired empathy, love, brotherhood becomes strong enough to neutralize, complement the raging, self-destructive ego can we survive.

We cannot suppress or erase the ego, that is our all-powerful driving force. But we can learn how to harness, channel, direct it together towards positive, constructive goals, purposes.
I also really appreciate the comment about self soothing and self regulation and the tie in to…
By: Lisa Lane
Tags: Empathy Vs Sympathy, Empathy, Empath

I also really appreciate the comment about self soothing and self regulation and the tie in to trauma and addiction. Awareness and compassion are practices. And we can never be certain that we are feeling what another is feeling (feelings aren’t facts) and the feeling you have is yours — not someone else’s imposed on you. What if you are not actually feeling what someone is feeling but merely reacting to your own perception by turning it against yourself (and re/traumatizing yourself?) So, yes, if you are identifying so much with what you perceive someone else to be feeling that you become incapacitated, then you need to work on boundaries, emotional regulation, self care, and effective action. I am certain that Mother Theresa was an empath or strongly felt empathy toward humans who were suffering. Rather than allowing this to incapacitate her and fight against what is, it inspired action and service toward the greater good — as a way of life — on a practical and spiritual level. We all have inherent worth. I have to believe that the introspection, perspective shift, and trauma work you advocate here could only help strengthen empathic behaviors to realize this worth and elevate society as a whole.
Empathy; Being Empathetic
Tags: Empathy, Friendship, Broken, Hurt

Empathy is not something people have; they can say they do but words never mean more than actions.

The thought of wanting to put someone before yourself; their feelings becoming a priority to your own.

Empathy is not something someone can say that they have; it is something that someone is born with.

The act of always being there for someone; always wanting to help another person; always needing to help another person.

Me, I am empathy.

I am there at all hours for anyone in my life who needs me.

There is never a moment I will not help someone who needs it, but what is left for me.

Nothing.

No one asks me how I am

No one wonders if I am ok

I struggle too; but apparently to strong can’t show weakness

The strong need to look and be strong; they can’t need help themselves

That’s the problem with empathy; using too much of it and you ever leave any for yourself.
Give feedback, not opinions
By: Jovan Belic
Tags: Conversations, Empathy, Design, Feedback, Philosophy

At one point i started posting my work and progress in Design Group on Facebook. And seeing the comment i’ve attached at the top is what 80% of answers and comments were on my posts.

You might say that other peoples opinion doesn’t matter, which is mostly true. But in that specific moment, once you read something that shouldn’t be written the way it is, or once you hear someone saying something negative about you, your skill or work, you actually start questioning yourself and if you are even doing something that make sense.

Even if this questioning is temporary and you’ll forget about it, it still matters to some degree.

Don’t give opinions — Give Feedback

I took Design as example, but honestly i think this can be applied to much more then that, in a lot of real life examples, day-to-day conversations, empathy…

Instead of saying:

Something is bad

Something is good

And the whole idea of something being bad or good is completly relative. Maybe i think that it’s bad but it doesn’t define that thing as a bad thing, it just define my view and my opinion.

Now Imagine being a person that posted something that you made, and someone commenting — It’s bad. Is that creation bad? No, it’s opinion of the person who commented.

That is bringing me to another point.

We cannot improve in life if all we hear are opinions.

You are trying to teach your kid to ride a bike, would you sit on a bench in park and yell at him, telling him “DRIVE BETTER! I DONT LIKE HOW YOU RIDE IT AND HOW YOU ALWAYS FALL” — Or would you stand with him, supporting him with your arms, giving advices how he should turn the pedals, how he should move his body and head while driving, etc..

You might think that i took stupid example, and i agree — example is stupid, but if you really think about it, if you try to find connection with this in your life, you’ll most likely be able to find a lot of them, at least i can.

None is giving constructive feedback, 90% of conversations that i hear are purly based on people giving their own opinion on certain topic/subject.

At the end, question might be why i care so much about this topic and why do i even think about this?

Again looking back at my life, i was tought most of the things with that opinion based way of thinking — And i just wanna make sure i remember this, so tommorow when i have kids, i would never tell them what they can or cannot do, what is bad for them and what isnt. What they have to belive in and what they shouldn’t belive in.
Thank you, Aimée Gramblin for the warm welcome.
By: Divina Grey
Tags: Connection, Life, Empathy, Writing, Self Improvement

Thank you, Aimée Gramblin for the warm welcome. I am sooo looking forward to contributing more in the months to come. I am grateful for you and AoE. Have a beautiful Saturday!💓
Philosophy
By: Sakthi Gnanam
Tags: Empathy, Philosophy

Photo by Josh Calabrese on Unsplash

Philosophies are subjective. More often it helps exhibit a sense of supremeness in people that tries to embrace it.

A simple question answered with a complex philosophy is a matter of pride. There are few celebrities that does that.

A few years back, I had put a status on social media as follows

Do the Gods protect us, or do we them?

This was blurted out, in response to the increasing religious oprressions in India. One of my friends ended up commenting the Hindhu philosophy of “One is god to his own” and other sanathana principles.

Let’s assume someone oppressed blurted out the above sentence out of despair, then to him my friend’s philosophical comment would have clearly looked a sophisticated rant from a priviliged position.

This led me to find answers to ‘What philosophy is, and who does it helps?’.

What would a philosophy of philosophy would look like?

Somehow the world look so polarised now, than it was 10 years. May be I am wrong/was too young to understand, or there was no internet/social media to show either the amplified version or the reality.

In lieu of protecting the philosophy or to be more clearer, in lieu of institutionalise one’s philosophy, we forget what people go through.

When the poor suffers from being homless, or without food, or the inability to offord a decent life, the rich and affluent neglects it by projecting how they too lead a life of simplicity, how they live in tents and how they take minimal food. What they forget is the their simplicity is not because of their inability, it simply their preference. When we think about it, having able to prefer something is how huge a privilege. If somehow the rich could strip all of his privilege and ofcourse the wealth, would the response be the same?

And thinking of many more such instances, it feels as if the philosophy has always been sophisticated. Who does philosophies serve?

Could the act of rich man standing in the shoes of poor be a philosophy in itself? If so, could it be the gel that could make the philosophies co-exist?
Doctors are human too
By: Thais Macedo
Tags: Health, Work, Work Life Balance, Empathy, Doctors

I am a doctor burntout.

I am a physician, working in Brazil for the past 6 years. I did (do) mostly emergency medicine and primary care. Both of which are kind of my true calling, as far as I can tell. And both of which are absolutly exhausting, despite not being seen as particularly important.

I see you, your kids, your mother, on what is probably the worst day of their lives. And no one is on their best on the worst day of their lifes.

I have to deal with the constant yelling, the constant complaining, the constant expectation of cure, the constant expectation of full attention, the constant anxiety.

And yes, I do understand those are absolutely normal in such a stressful situation for patients.

But it does take a toll.

I always believed I had an almost infinite amount of resilience. I have gone through all of those things time and time again seemingly unharmed, unhinged.

I have hobbies, I try to eat right, I do pilates, I meditate.

I did everything by the book of empathy and healthy lifestyle and it still wasn’t enough.

As a matter of fact, as it feels now, no amount of effort seems enough.

No matter how hard I try.

I always come home exhausted, drained, as a shadow of whom I once was.

I am trying to do my part. I am going to therapy, I cut down working hours. And again, nothing seems to be enough.

I don’t think there is enough resilience to prepare doctors for the conditions in which we work.

The never-ending abuse from patients, coworkers, coordinators, burocracy.

The complete lack of control of working hours, shifts, lab hours, burocracy, amount of patients, severity of cases, patient’s level of stress, eating hours, on even the hability to use the bathroom when needed.

Emergency doctors are basically giving their entire lifes away when at work.

And quite often outside of it, as well.

And that is exhausting.

I don’t see how any human can be psychologically prepared for that.

I think changes are needed in all of those regards.

And I think they should come STAT.

Why aren’t we discussing those issues in med schools?

Why aren’t we discussing those issues in board meetings?

Why aren’t we discussing that in Ministry of Health?

Why aren’t we discussing that with hospital managers? Coordinators? Directors?

Why is no one talking about those issues?

Why does everyone seem to expect doctors to be those superhuman empathic machines with no need for rest, respect, or food?

I don’t have the solutions for none of those issues, I have no way of waving a magic wand and magically fix those. However, I think talking about it should be our first step as a society.

Because if all of your (our) doctors get burntout, who will look after our health?
I Scored a 1 out of 40 on a Narcissism Test
By: Trevor Carss
Tags: Narcissism, Empathy, Personality Disorders, Self Love, Psychology Tests

Me staring at a mirror like a narcissist.

I scored a 1 out of 40 doing a narcissism test. It means I apparently need to work on being in love with myself more. The average score for most people is ~15, and celebrities rank 18–20.

1 is apparently unheard of. Here is a video of me going over my results.

If I am the opposite of a bonafide narcissist, what would psychologists define me as?

Empathetic?

Self-loathing?

Psychotic?

I could certainly see self-loathing as a possibility.

The test measures seven different categories to determine one’s score:

Authority

Self-sufficiency

Superiority

Exhibitionism

Exploitativeness

Vanity

Entitlement

I scored a 1 in Entitlement and a 0 in everything else.

The test is multiple-choice, where you select one item out of a pair for each question. Here is an example:

To determine your narcissism score, here is the free test I took (no affiliation).
Our greatest starvation.
By: Soundarya Balasubramani
Tags: Connection, Conversations, Compassion, Empathy, Humanity

When was the last time you opened up to someone about the most sacred moments from your past in an uninterrupted, non-judgemental setting filled with intent listening and empathy?

For me, it was yesterday.

A work-related call with a good friend yesterday turned into a 6-hour conversation of me opening up about the deepest (and in some way darkest) moments from my past.

After it ended, I felt emotionally carved out, in a good way. It was a fitting end to the worst year of my life (more on that in another article).

When I woke up today, I wanted to pen down some of my thoughts on why this experience was so deeply cathartic.

Blind spots

Let’s take part in a short experiment.

Close your right eye with your right hand and focus your left eye on the black circle above. Slowly move closer to the screen and stop when the magic happens.

There is a certain distance at which the “+” will completely disappear from your view, although it’s right in front of you.

This is your neurological and literal blind spot.

Yesterday, I learned about my emotional blind spots.

Three hours into my sharing experiences from the past, he told me something I hadn’t heard before.

“You are too hard on yourself. You are taking too much responsibility for other people’s actions and not being compassionate enough to your past self.”

Without diving too deep into the meaning behind the above, it showed me that such realizations cannot happen in a vacuum. For most of this year, I was my own teacher, mentor, and therapist. But, there are limits to me being objective towards… me.

We all need someone else to spot these blind spots.

Starvation

This is how I see the scale of listening.
Have rookies been getting a bad rap all this while?
By: Shivram Lakshminarayanan
Tags: Journal, Making Mistakes, Empathy, Leadership Development

The reason why I’m on this train of thought was due to an incident that I was privy to recently.

From an early age, I’ve always loved to tell stories. Stories around how I managed to beat a boss in the newest video game, or as a tool to teach concepts you’ve learned to others (The Feynman Learning Technique). This probably sowed to seeds for me to be comfortable in taking up public speaking engagements — conducting quizzes, speaking in professional forums, and what not. Safe to say that I’ve had a fair share of experience in trying to hold an audience on a topic of choice.

Few weeks back, I was giving a talk to a group of professionals in the product management space about the role of analytics in driving product decisions. In lieu of preparing for this, all the right boxes were checked:

Presentation with a coherent story line and wasn’t a book with 100+ words on every slide

Points-of-interaction with the participants to drive some engagement

Key takeaways for participants to refer to

Trusty stop-watch to keep track of time

In theory, this should have worked where the lecture delivers what it aims to do and participants leave the zoom meeting with a new perspective. But in reality, at least to me personally, it didn’t. I left the conversation feeling like a big ball of mess.

Where did I go wrong?

The answer was that I didn’t trust my trusty stop-watch.

What ended up was a derailment of time, leading to a rushed, haphazard closure towards the end — which usually has the kicker of the message. This definitely classifies as a rookie mistake within the context of public speaking and presentation. How many times have we encountered this?! The speaker spends the 1st part of their presentation moving slowly, going off tangent and then the time prompt comes. Suddenly they realize there’s 10 minutes left and 20 slides of content left.

Boom! Hypersonic speed activated! At the end, both speaker and participants are left unsatisfied.

When the same thing happened on my presentation, it got me thinking. “What did I do wrong?”

The realization that I had was the following. Most of my presentations were in-person. Be it at a live quiz event or in public forums, I was addressing a sea of faces that I could see, gauge for reaction, and tailor based on the visual feedback received. This wasn’t the case on that fateful day. What I could see weren’t faces, but just a block of 5 (Out of 80) names that Zoom thought was relevant to me. This leads to the brain activating its defense mechanism of wanting to make sure it gets the feedback it needs. Meaning, I spent far too much time on the interaction and engagement cues than what I’d planned.
Have You Ever Slept Through a Presentation Before?
By: Heba Abusedou
Tags: Presentations, Empathy, Tips, Design, Holidays

Have you heard of the term, “Death by Presentation”? I have. I’ve probably slept through many presentations before as well.

We all love good presentations and we want to make a difference by providing the best experience to our audience. However, we often find ourselves in a position where we do not know what to put in our slides when we are pitching an idea or presenting to a business audience.

Empathy is a great public speaking skill. It is something that we can all learn and develop. Before you create your presentation, try putting yourself in the shoes of your audience and ask yourself this , “would I be able to sit through this?”

Our pro-tip of the day for you is . . .

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Read more about this in our LinkedIn article here.

Presentations Pro-Tips

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What Signals Engineering Taught Me About Empathy
By: Joe Omundson
Tags: Engineering, Empathy, Life Lessons, Communication, Humanity

When you send files over a cable — for example, when you transfer photos from a digital camera to a computer — something called “serial data communication” is taking place.

The transmitting device sends “ones” and “zeroes” (high and low voltage states) down the cable in rapid succession. It looks something like this:

The receiving device decodes this pattern of ones and zeroes into data you can use. Simple enough.

There’s a catch, though: the above diagram is an idealistic representation of the signal. The transmitter creates its best approximation of that signal, but it is always warped by the cable it travels down.

In the real world, data often looks more like this by the time the receiver sees it:

Adapted from blog.teledynelecroy.com

That’s a bit harder for a receiver to interpret.

The longer a cable is, the more warped the signal tends to be. If these distortions become severe enough, the signal can suffer so much that the receiver begins to incorrectly identify ones and zeroes. At that point, the data has errors, and communication fails.

This is similar to the way communication breaks down between humans. When we communicate with like-minded people, it’s as though we’re using a short, clean cable. When we talk to people who are very different, it’s like a long, lossy cable, and misunderstandings happen.

Fortunately, engineers have come up with solutions that allow for successful data communication over longer cables — and we can apply some of these same concepts to interpersonal communication.

By understanding the way a signal becomes warped over the course of its journey, an engineer can design a transmitter that compensates for that distortion.

For example: a high-frequency segment of data, like 01010101, tends to lose power as it passes through a cable. By the time it reaches the receiver, this part of the signal might be very weak. Lower-frequency parts of the data, like 00001111, tend to come through at a higher amplitude.

Adapted from blog.teledynelecroy.com

Since it is known that the higher-frequency components of the signal will suffer, the transmitter compensates by sending the high-frequency components with more power to begin with. That way, even after passing through the cable, those parts will still have enough amplitude to be read correctly by the receiver. This is called “pre-emphasis”.

The signal might look a little funny leaving the transmitter; but by the time it reaches the receiver, it looks much more like the intended signal.
You sound very open minded and positive, I love that.
By: Hayley Bolan
Tags: Addiction, Empathy, Mental Health, Support

You sound very open minded and positive, I love that. I’m so glad to hear that you’re supporting him. I know it’s tough on your end too! Stay strong and have hope ❤
I Wish My Boss Had Empathy
By: Dipanshu Rawal
Tags: Work, Corporate Culture, Jobs, Empathy, Life Lessons

I Wish My Boss Had Empathy

Screenshot of my resignation email (Source: By Author)

We all went into lockdown in 2020. My workplace became toxic because the managers weren’t yet ready to calm their egos.

My boss asked me the reason for resigning, and I told her the truth — the leadership in this workplace isn’t competent, and I mentioned a specific incident to support my statement.

There was another employee misbehaving with me openly in the official WhatsApp group. It happened twice. Prior to going WFH, I had already complained about the behavior of this employee to HR.

Apparently, there were no steps taken.

I also mentioned to my boss that I have issues of anxiety, and I have undergone therapy too. I don’t like confronting people repeatedly for the same issue.

To which she replied, “Oh oh oh, you should do yoga. You should follow XYZ on youtube for meditation. Your generation is not doing well, everyone is having a mental health issue.”

(Ok boomer?)

I didn’t expect compassion from her. But I also didn’t expect shame, pity, and unsolicited advice from someone.

I am self-employed now. If and when I hire someone to work with/for me, I know exactly what I won’t do.
More is Less
By: Kirtan Chauhan
Tags: Empathy, Physicians, Change, Healthcare, Death

Unfortunately, this year has been nothing short of a paradox

Healthcare workers finding themselves in a bind — do no harm to patients

But for themselves? Having to resort to methods nothing short of unorthodox

They have been severely tried of their patience
Screaming into the Void
By: Adrian Manley
Tags: Congress, Empathy, Covid 19, Opinion

“The End is near, the end is near!” Everyday I would walk past him on my way to work and everyday it was the same raging cry. He was usually standing by the entrance to the subway station on 79th and Broadway and with leaflets in hand yelling out the message. It’s all happening…do you see it? The peculiar thing is I don’t know when I stopped noticing him, I just did.

We cannot begin to say how difficult this pandemic has been on everyone throughout the world but one thing we can clearly see is that not all pandemics circumstances are created equal. As the tech and banking industries continue to see a boom in stock prices and business, the entertainment sector full of its gig workers and “artistic types” along with small business are feeling the sting of a harsh winter which began blowing last March. A full nine months ago. It seems inconceivable that Broadway and touring live performances have been shut down since early in the year but there has been minimal relief from Congress and its minions. Sure there was the PUA and the one time 1200 dollar stimulus for those that qualified but those payments stopped months ago, with no end in sight for this pandemic and certainly no live shows til most likely next summer at the earliest. Let me ask you a question. Do you really think that if all the (pick an industry) but let’s just say, eggs in the world disappeared overnight that the government would take nine months to get them aid and a bailout? If Mitch McConnell had to miss one fried egg sandwich, the egg industry would have a 200 million dollar check by morning. But actors? Musicians? Crew? Lighting? Merchandise? Bartenders? Staff? Dressers?Ushers? Cleaning Crews? Drivers? to name a few…Fuck em.

What the congress both left and right, who by the way just this week voted unanimously to fund the government another week so they can debate some more over a Covid Aid package fail to realize is… hold on did you just read that? Congress couldn’t get its shit straight in the past four months to get a relief bill passed but they unanimously and quickly passed a funding bill so that they could get paid another week to finish their late assignment.

You see, if it ain’t you or your family or friends then it’s sometimes difficult to appreciate the gravity of a situation. I understand that but please for the love of all that is good and true don’t give yourself another weeks pay quickly and then make the gig workers of the country wait four to five months for a couple a hundred dollars. Bitch please. I know with all the news and nonsense filling the void these days it’s hard to hear and respond. We are all tired, but twelve million people are quietly screaming and we must not let their voices be diminished.

My friends are losing their homes. My friends are losing their savings. My friends are losing their ability to feed and clothe their families, some having to use their kids college fund for necessities. Moreover, many of them are losing something much more valuable…their hope.