Why I Decided to Stop Using a Pen Name
By: Grace Claman
Tags: Pen Names, Writing Life, Freelance Writing, Writing, Personal Growth

At the beginning of April, I decided to take a leap and start writing on Medium.

I hadn’t been on the site very long. Like, probably twenty-four hours.

But from the moment I made my account and started reading some of the articles, I absolutely knew I had to start writing too. This was the perfect place to start publishing, the perfect place to start a blog. I was so hooked I didn’t wait to figure anything out. I just picked a pen name, made a new email, and started writing.

Turns out, I still had quite a few things to learn (I still do!). But by using my pen name, I felt completely safe to publish anything I wanted. I could bare my soul and it would be fine because no one I knew would ever find it. I didn’t have to risk any embarrassment while I tried something new. And, if I quit, no one had to know about that, either.

The perks of a pen name were numerous:

Got to go by a much cooler name than my real one.

People could easily pronounce my pen name.

The pen name embodied a certain feel I wanted to portray as a writer (think J.K. Rowling or J.R.R. Tolkien).

I got to write without fear of judgment while I figured out a new platform.

At the same time, I was also on a job hunt. It’s my senior year of college and I was starting to panic about what I was going to do when summer finally hit and I still hadn’t landed a full-time job. But then, through Medium, I discovered freelance writing.

It was like I had been trying really hard to focus on an image, squinting and blinking furiously, but the shapes wouldn’t form together. When I learned about freelance writing, it was like I blinked once and suddenly — there it was. All the images aligned and came into focus with dazzling detail.

Why was I desperately hoping someone would hire me? I know I’m qualified! I should hire myself!

Well, after watching as many Youtube playlists on the topic, reading a dozen articles, and downloading several ebooks, I soon realized I was going to need a website and a portfolio.

People were going to have to read my writing.

And attach my name to it.

Marketing yourself is the name of the game.

I now had a choice to make. Was I going to perpetuate this pen name deal into my actual line of work? Would I be using this name for clients? Having people call me by it in person?

As I thought more about the situation, I realized a few key things:

It’s going to be difficult to live my entire life as a different person. Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent know what the heck I’m talking about.

Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent know what the heck I’m talking about. People love to see faces. They don’t want to just think you’re writing is great, they want to fall in love with the person too.

And finally:

I can’t hide.

The truth is, if you want to be successful at something, anything, you’re going to have to start somewhere (usually at the bottom). And you’re also going to have to tell people about it.

As much as I may want to find a tiny corner of the internet, set up shop, and then never let anyone know what I’m doing, that isn’t a very honest way to live my life.

It’s much more important to let people know who I am, what I’m doing, and yes, that I’m going to make blunders along the way.

As much as possible, I believe that we should tell people the truth about ourselves for two reasons:

Because what kind of a person are you if you always hide your interests/goals/pursuits? and You’ll find so many like-minded individuals out there if you just let them know you’re out there too.

People need people. We can’t be islands and we can’t pretend to be something we’re not. Taking the leap to let other people know about something in your life is scary, but so often, once we’ve taken that leap we discover they either do the same thing too, or they want to help!

While I will be abandoning my old persona, I don’t regret using the pen name for a while. It helped me get started and hit the ground running without reservations.

But now I’ve decided to start telling everyone the truth about myself, and I’m never going back. I may find some people who judge me, yes. I’m also going to find ten more people for each of those judgy ones who are supportive and excited about my new endeavors.

Here’s to all the future blunders,

G.C.