Love is not Free
By: Bobj Mattingly
Tags: Self-awareness, Relationships, Love, Self Improvement, Love And Sex

True Love is not free.

We’ve all heard it said many times and in many ways, and have quite possibly repeated it on many occasions, that love is free, love doesn’t cost a thing or money can’t buy love. Although it is true that money cannot buy love, I strongly disagree with the sentiment that love for another human being does not have a price.

When we are truly in love with someone, we are willing to pay for that love with much more than silver and gold. Love is not a commodity to be bought, sold and traded, but it is a precious energy that costs us our life force. A person in love is willing to go to any lengths to ensure that his/her loved one is safe, happy and content. There are countless ways that we pay the price of loving another.

Here are just 5 of the many attributes of true love that are worth much more than money:

1. Commitment

Being in love is to be fully committed and available to the one we love. This means that we must be willing to sacrifice our valuable time and energy towards nurturing and developing the relationship with our loved one. True love is unconditional. A committed relationship calls for dedication and hard work for it to evolve and flourish. True love costs our commitment.

2. Honesty

Everybody lies. This is just a fact of life and sometimes a small ‘white lie’ may be required, depending on the circumstances. A loving relationship, however, is an exception to this unspoken rule and leaves no room for dishonesty. We must be prepared to communicate with our partners and it is virtually impossible to communicate clearly and effectively without complete honesty. True love costs our honesty.

3. Loyalty

When our loved ones really need us, we are there to validate and support them. This is loyalty. Love is not something that we just turn off and on when it is convenient for us. A relationship is an obligation to be there for the one we love, even and especially through the hard times. Loyalty is the backbone of a successful relationship; it is a rare quality that must be appreciated and reciprocated. True love costs our loyalty.

4. Respect

Mutual respect is an essential quality of any healthy relationship. It is necessary for us to hold each other’s best interests in high regard. We must be willing to sacrifice certain things out of respect for our partner. When we love someone we always consider the impact of our words and actions. The mutual respect of each other’s wants, needs, and boundaries, is a necessity in a loving relationship. True love costs our respect.

5. Trust

Lack of trust can be detrimental to any relationship. There is no love without trust, and there is no trust without honesty. If we do not believe that our partner is being honest with us then it is impossible to trust them. Trusting another person with our heart is one of life’s most vulnerable acts. This is why it is very important that we only trust our hearts to those we truly love. True love costs our trust.

To love another fully and completely is to surrender your heart into their possession and trust that it is in good keeping.

No price is too high for the ones we love. Of course, I am exclusively referring to true love and not a toxic or abusive ‘love’. By its very definition, abuse is not, nor is it ever, a price of true love. When we enter a relationship of true love, it is essential that we are willing to communicate, learn and grow with our partner. If we are not able to pay this price, then we may not yet be ready for a committed relationship; and we should always be open and honest about this.

Every loving and lasting relationship must be built on the firm five-point foundation of commitment, honesty, loyalty, respect, and trust.