Short Story I. A monologue.
By: Z.D. Tatum
Tags: Short Fiction, Critical Thinking, Suspense, Fiction, Short Story

A monologue.

“I’m a grinder you know. I grind my teeth when I sleep, my dentist tells me that’s bad but who listens to dentists. I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was young, probably around high school age. I opted to get put under to get them removed, weird thing being sedated. You know what I’m talking about you fall asleep and wake up and it feels like zero minutes has gone by, all the while a surgery just happened.

“I wonder if dying is the same way. Is it just like falling asleep and then you wake up feeling like zero minutes have gone by? Guess there really is no way of knowing, although if time were to be kept I’d say there is about thirty minutes between dying and waking up again wherever it is you’re supposed to wake up. That’s another fun idea, is waking up when you’re born the same as waking up after you die? I don’t remember waking up when I was born so I wonder if when things die do they remember waking up after?

“My mom told me how I almost died when I was born, or I guess shortly after I was born. My skull was too small so it fucked something up with my brain anyway my point is if I had died after I was born does that count as waking up; or does dying shortly after your born not count as being alive at all? In a weird way I guess that would mean I was born here. I wonder if you’d like my mom, she got along with most everybody. She was nice to the neighbors and stuff, I didn’t care too much for them but she always made me play with them. I guess there are worse things a parent could do.

“I once saw someone’s dad just kick the living shit of him. I mean just one kick after the other after the other. I couldn’t do anything except watch, I couldn’t tell my mom because I don’t think she could’ve done anything about it. It’s just one of those things that happens in the world you know. By the way you have to admit this is some good meat here. I’ve had deer before, like eating it right after a hunt, but that’s nothing compared to this you should be proud. Anyways a few months after I got my wisdom teeth removed my mom died. She had a little too much to drink and then was on her way home and that was that. I didn’t go to her funeral, we didn’t really have one. I just let the people burn her body and let them keep it, I wasn’t gonna do much with it I figured I’d let them decide what was best. The court gave me some money for her dying, not too much money but enough to not have to sleep outside every night.

“I ended up just heading west. Saw a magazine talking about some mountains and I wanted to see them so that’s the way I started. I got about eighty miles before I needed to stop. I checked in to some shit bag motel and called it a night. The next morning I went to shower and saw no towels in the closet, the people up front said they’d send someone so I just waited and got my clothes ready so I can leave after I got out the shower. I opened the door for the housekeeper and you would not believe me, she looked just like Mom. She wasn’t as tall as Mom, I must have looked insane to her.

“She restocked the towels and I just kept staring, I couldn’t let her leave. She kept trying to get around me, I told her she looked just like my mom and she looked at me like I was crazy. I couldn’t blame her I had just been gawking at her for the last several minutes. She started saying something and all I could do was look at her eyes. Apparently I ended up killing her, and more like her I guess. They ended up catching me a few months later just sixteen miles away from them goddamn mountains. I never got to see them you know, the mountains. I mean from a distance sure but I wanted to be at the base and just see how high it went. It’s not all bad though, there’s a room in here that lets you see the world. It’s kinda like a movie you can fast-forward, rewind, even better than a movie you can see alternate scenes like what if something else happened kinda like a butterfly effect. So it keeps you from wondering what could’ve been because you know what could’ve been you can see what could’ve been.

“I can see the base of the mountains, similar to my life, if I had made it. I never got to see the mountains. I never made it out of that hospital. You made sure of that didn’t you, how could the idea of me make you so mad when she told you? And for what it’s worth not like you made anything of yourself, shit that’s why we’re both here. Man even babies can come here, I guess you did the world a favor. Not saying much since all you did was muddle along your entire miserable existence, how did it end for you? Was it peaceful? Was it painful? Did you see it coming? I bet you wish you were back there huh instead of here like a spread.

“No worries, your leg should last us a few days. After that who knows what crazy ideas come up next and it’s not much of a big deal, once your leg is all healed up and back to the way it was when you got here we can ration you again.”