Growing Up and Turning 30
By: Michele Baci
Tags: Growing Up, Reflections, Blog, Thirty, Relationships

I’ve turned a milestone birthday this year. Thirty. Thirty years on the planet. Twenty-four years reading and consumed by books. As a young kid with her nose stuck in Beezus and Ramona, I told myself that someday I would be a writer.

Nine years fascinated by standup comedy, after taking a humorous writing class in college. Three years of pursuing a career in comedy. I’ve performed at the Ice House and the Comedy Store. In the smallest rooms they got, but still. Since moving to Los Angeles, I worked for a few years at a major television station, sharing space with people who make some of the biggest TV shows in America.

I’ve waited in studio hallways with legends and icons. I won’t name names because it doesn’t matter, but I’ve realized that famous people are real people, and that they do not want to be bothered or bother anyone else. The celebrities I’ve seen all have charisma gilded around them. And yet, they are humble. Grateful to be working and to be wanted. Like we all are.

I’m not in the limelight’s shadow anymore. I’ve taken on a new job — in accounting — something I fell into right before the pandemic and where I plan to stay for the time being. Accounting is like counting grains of rice and tabulating simple mathematic formulas with the rice. It’s also opening mail, ripping checks, and filing, filing, filing.

I remember watching an episode of Rocko’s Modern Life where a character (is it Ralph Bighead?) gets a regular job as a paper pusher. There is paper everywhere- on the floor, on desks, and flying in the air. The employees literally push it around on the floor with giant brooms. The paper shreds into smaller pieces and then new paper emerges. In my new role as an accountant, I feel like I live in a scene from that episode. The tasks are tedious, but they are essential to the job.

I exaggerate because it’s what I do. I’m grateful to have a stable job, but I’m a creative person. I spend my time outside of my job working on my podcast, Therapy Roulette, which is about mental health and comedy. I live with my boyfriend, Joseph, and try to carve out time to spend together- cooking, eating, and going on walks. Sometimes we watch TV, movies, or standup comedy, but lately, it’s hard for me to even set aside time to watch anything with my full, undivided attention.

This is my first time living with a significant other. We basically moved in together around March, after the pandemic sent us all to work from home. And since combining our living situation, I’ve taken on a role of “unpaid housecleaning intern.” I try to clean and tidy up. I do the dishes to pass the time. I do a lot of laundry. Joseph is a great partner, and he helps out too. But I still feel the obligation to clean all the time. And this has wormed its way into my headspace to give me a new anxiety that once I am a wife, and once I am a mother, I will be cleaning nonstop- on call to my baby and my husband. And in my off time, existing solely as a human dishwashing liquid.

Don’t worry, I will be seeking counseling to sort out this anxiety. I have anxiety about the present and the future. Living in quarantine with the fear of catching COVID or the people I love getting sick doesn’t make it any easier.

But I made a list about the good things that happened to me in 2020, and the list has a lot more on it than I ever expected. Here it is:

· Ringing in the new year with J for the first time

· Saying “I love you”

· Moving in together

· Filming for our YouTube channel (coming in 2021)

· Starting my podcast, Therapy Roulette

· Hard conversations and tears that led to growth and progress in our relationship

· Finding a stable job with good income and benefits

Look at all those positive things that happened this year! I will NOT be listing out the negative things. Harping on those won’t help anyone.

I’m not sure what I will accomplish (or try and maybe fail) to do in my thirtieth year, but I am looking forward to whatever it holds. I will be researching “fastest way to wash dishes,” as well as “house cleaning hacks.”

I do call myself a writer, and I’ve been telling myself to write more blog posts for months now. I’m so happy to be doing it now, finally.

Drop a comment to say hello. I’ll be writing more soon.