The Autism Spectrum: Keys to informed parenting (Ch.2)
By: Braedon Leslie
Tags: Behavioral Health, Autism, Mental Health Awareness, Autism Spectrum Disorder

Can you relate?

That’s right, you guessed it, we’re about to dive into the dung heap of emotional warfare known as anxiety.

I’m not talking about a healthy amount of anxiety, the type that keeps you on edge when competing in the Summer Olympics; I’m talking about the kind that makes your teeth chatter, gives you tunnel vision, makes you fearful of change, and straps a 50 lb. weight to your chest.

Fasten your seatbelt people, it might get bumpy.

Anxiety Disorder 101

Hey everyone, I hope you had a wonderful week. Who’s ready for the New Year? I know I am.

I’m excited to direct some autism support and resources your way as we discuss how you can help your Neurodiverse child manage the ebbs and flows of anxiety.

So, what is anxiety? According to Mayo Clinic:

“…people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).”

Here are some of the common symptoms of anxiety:

Your child may focus so much on what could happen in the future that it’s hard to be present. We call that “ future tripping .”

.” Avoidance is another big issue that people with anxiety face. They think, “If I do something, I’ll mess it up.”

is another big issue that people with anxiety face. They think, “If I do something, I’ll mess it up.” An anxious mood is characterized by irritability, feeling worried, or *fearful.

Before we go any further, I’d like to riff on fear for a moment.

Anxiety can be caused by fear of something new or different; fear of change in appearance, location, or routine; fear of transitions in both time, topic, and space; or fear of unknowns and suspicions.

All these areas may play a part in your child’s anxiety and could be the source of what’s making them feel out of control.

Being cognizant of how your child emotes, articulates, and behaves can give you clues into what they are feeling. Helping them become aware of their emotions can help them root out that very fear. In some cases, it may look like forming a healthier relationship with that fear. But I digress.

Tension can be described as being easily fatigued, startled easily, feeling restless, or incapable of relaxing.

can be described as being easily fatigued, startled easily, feeling restless, or incapable of relaxing. Insomnia as a sign of anxiety may present as an inability to fall asleep, sporadic sleep, nightmares, or not feeling well rested.

as a sign of anxiety may present as an inability to fall asleep, sporadic sleep, nightmares, or not feeling well rested. Thinking and focus may also be affected by your child’s anxiety.

and focus may also be affected by your child’s anxiety. Depressed mood, lack of interest, or loss of interest in hobbies may be caused by anxiety’s spillover.

*Note, if your child also experiences other unexplained physical maladies, while this may be due to anxiety, be sure to have your child checked by a licensed practicing physician.

Remember, experiencing some degree of anxiety is a very normal part of life. However, when anxious feelings cause your child to shutdown, withdraw, scream, feel paranoid, or panic, it may be time for some serious intervention.

How you can help.

If you hop on the internet you are going to find THOUSANDS maybe MILLIONS of ways to manage or treat anxiety. I’m not here to say whether they’re all good or not, that depends entirely on your child’s needs.

I am saying that there are ways to help mitigate stress that are more universal or proactive. Be sure to pad your toolkit with those approaches.

Managing anxiety — A good place to start:

Get familiar with the language and concepts that are used to describe anxiety, how it feels, and what it looks like to relieve it.

Amanda Shenton provides some wonderful advice on managing anxiety in her TEDx talk here. I’m positive that there are many more credible talks you can find out there, too.

Don’t knock therapy till you try it. We are so fortunate to live in a world where clinically validated resources can be accessed online or in-person.

till you try it. We are so fortunate to live in a world where clinically validated resources can be accessed online or in-person. Look into coursework on executive functioning. I recommend myHana Autism, they are a wonderful resource for not only providing said curriculum but aligning you with licensed practitioners, if needed.

Executive functioning coursework will help your child develop structure and habits that help them mitigate anxiety, transition more easily, and adapt to the stress and rigors of life more effectively. The sooner these habits are developed the sooner they can be used as a defense against anxiety.

Strive for consistency . Being consistent in your communication and management of expectations with your child. Remember the four C’s; be clear, concise, consistent, and concrete. You got this!

. Being consistent in your communication and management of expectations with your child. Remember the four C’s; be clear, concise, consistent, and concrete. You got this! Implement what is known as a “consultant pattern” when your child is struggling. It might look something like this:

“Hey, you look/sound______, what’s going on?” *Validate, empathize, and open a door to communication. “What do you think you can do about that?” *Provide an opportunity to think and respond. “What’s worked for you in the past? … “Is it okay if I share some possible solutions with you?” *Display options and the potential outcomes. “What are you going to do?” *Empower your child by placing the ball in their court. “Why don’t you take some time to relax and make your decision. You’ve got this, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” *Allow them to think and shower them with confidence.

Try decompressing before transitions. Give your child time to take breaks. Not everyone is equipped to do study marathons or shop till they drop.

Getting good sleep and developing good sleep hygiene is huge. The benefits of great sleep are supremely underrated. Help your child choose a time to go to sleep, make sure that screens are turned off at least 2 hours before bed when possible, and implement a nigh time routine that is easy for your child to follow. Again, myHana Autism spells out how to do all these things.

Before you go.

In the world of health and education, resources abound. If you have a trusted clinician on your side, lean into them. Otherwise, trust your gut as you dig through all the data.

I hope this article helps. My intention is to create awareness and provide practical support to those in need.

Happy holidays and safe travels!