Feeling alone in a crowded room, perhaps at this very moment?
By: Jen Moss
Tags: Lonliness, Mental Health Awareness, Grief, Public Health Crisis, Mental Health

Photo Credit: Maria Ponomariova

Feeling Alone? The Other Public Health Crisis By: Jen Moss

Feeling alone in a crowded room, perhaps at this very moment? Or have you ever experienced feelings of loneliness even while among people you love and admire? If you answered yes to either of these questions understand that you are not alone. On the “Unlocking Us” podcast, Dr. Brene Brown interviewed former U.S. surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy. In this inspiring conversation Dr. Murthy broke down three common types of loneliness we all may experience:

1. Intimate/emotional

An intimate/emotional connection is the need to have a trusted partner or confidant to share your private thoughts or feelings with.

2. Relational/social

A relational/social connection is the need for quality friendships and social support.

3. Collective

A collective connection is a need for a social network, group, or community that shares your values, community intentions, and goals.

Connecting in a COVID-19 World

Loneliness by definition is the experienced state of discomfort that results when an individual perceives a gap between their desired social connection and the actual experiences of it. The Covid-19 pandemic has heightened these feelings of loneliness through physical and social isolation. While we are encouraged to stay physically distant, it’s crucial that we strive to maintain, or increase, social contacts and connections with others at this time.

Modern-day lifestyles among industrialized communities are greatly impacting and diminishing the quantity and quality of our social relationships. Independence is regularly rewarded within the current cultural climate. When we feel that we cannot carry it all alone we may feel shame and sadness that can lead to depression.

The Power of Connection

Loneliness is a public health crisis that affects approximately 60% of Americans. (2) Prolonged loneliness is associated with an increased risk of heart disease, depression, anxiety, premature death, sleep disturbances, dementia, impaired wound healing, and more. The effects of loneliness on the mortality rate are profound. What current studies have found is that the mortality impact of prolonged loneliness is similar to the mortality impact seen with smoking approximately 15 cigarettes a day. (1)

We must challenge the stigmas surrounding loneliness. It is important to recognize that loneliness is a natural human experience because we are fundamentally social creatures. We have survived and evolved throughout history primarily due to our connection with other human beings. Connecting with others is a foundational part of the human experience.

Connection within yourself is the most important relationship to develop. It is important to regularly check-in and connect with yourself to identify your feelings, needs, and values. Doing this allows you to ground yourself in the now, and be an active participant in the connected world around you. Make the mindful decision to empathetically connect with yourself first and then with other people. Recognizing your worth, knowing yourself, and grounding yourself in the present will help you identify and build upon those intimate, relational, and collective relationships as the opportunities arise.

Through connection and empathy, we have the opportunity right now, to use this moment, this pandemic, to re-center our lives around the connections we have with each other. This crisis presents an opportunity that allows us to develop and nurture our social bonds through connection and empathy. Remember that every time you choose to genuinely connect with yourself or with someone else you are empowering your health and theirs.

References:

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7). doi:10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Murthy, V. H. (2020). Together: The healing power of human connection in a sometimes lonely world. New York,, NY: Harper Wave, an imprint of HarperCollins.