Friendships make the best love stories
By: Sabrina Ki
Tags: Lgbtqia, LGBTQ, Book Review, Books, Nonbinary

Friendships make the best love stories

An A+ for this aromantic-asexual story

‘Loveless’ (out 9th July 2020) is Oseman’s fourth novel, and seems to be her most personal story yet.

Aside from being hilarious and full of vibrant, lovable characters each with their own unique story, Loveless also gave me lots of food for thought. Before hearing about Loveless, aromantic (aro) and asexual (ace) sexualities were something I vaguely knew of by name but not nature. The synopsis about a teen coming to terms with her aro-ace identity really got me wondering (plenty of thinking time during lockdown!), especially about asexuality. Could that be me?

Learning about aromanticism and asexuality

As a questioning person, I was exceptionally interested in this book. Almost desperately interested, actually. Rather naïvely, I hoped that reading Loveless would be some sort of shortcut ticket to figuring myself out, which didn’t quite happen (obviously, because that’s unrealistic). The protagonist, Georgia, is both aromantic and asexual (like Oseman herself), so unsurprisingly our experiences wouldn’t have aligned exactly — and as Loveless so eloquently puts it:

“The aromantic and asexual [sexuality] spectrums weren’t just straight lines.

They were radar charts with at least a dozen different axes.” Loveless by Alice Oseman

Oseman did a great job straddling the line between providing educational information while staying in character/style, and she also signposted to some great resources at the end. I’m glad Oseman is writing (not only here, but other platforms too) about a sexuality that’s been (too) long obscured and gaslighted in today’s romance-obsessed mass media.

“It’s not in films. It’s hardly ever in TV shows, and when it is, it’s some tiny subplot that most people ignore. When it’s talked about in the media, it gets trolled to hell and back. Even some queer people out there hate the very concept of being aro or ace because they think it’s unnatural or just fake.” Loveless by Alice Oseman

From L-R: the gay pride flag, the asexual pride flag, the lesbian pride flag and the non-binary pride flag.

Platonic love is still a love story

I absolutely adored all the friendships in Loveless, and how platonic love is given the spotlight it deserves. It also helped that each character is so distinct, especially Georgia and her roommate Rooney, who we get to know most deeply out of the secondary characters. (Personally, Rooney was my favourite.) The message that platonic love isn’t somehow lesser than romantic love really resonates with me, especially given how hard romance gets pushed by social conventions and corporate marketing.

“It was so easy to romanticise romance because it was everywhere …How could I feel so sad about giving up these things that I did not actually want? …I was angry at the world for making me hate who I was.” Loveless by Alice Oseman

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with someone who wasn’t just an idealised version of a person, but my heart has never swelled so much as when I think about my best friends.

“‘Just friends’ makes it sounds like being friends is worse.” Loveless by Alice Oseman

That’s not to say there’s no romance in ‘Loveless’ — I really enjoyed the splash of sapphic enemies-to-lovers too! Peak yearning splashed with a little of Shakespeare’s ‘Much Ado About Nothing’, mixed in with two extremely chaotic personalities. As Georgia would say, ‘love that for us!’

Plot line and personal touches

The plotline isn’t wildly unpredictable, though there were certainly a few surprises up Oseman’s sleeve. It leans towards being a character-driven novel, which I think worked well as the plot largely hinges on the dynamics and interactions between the major characters, rather than some external drama.

A rainbow I spotted on a grey day in Durham.

An extra bit of fun for me was that Loveless is set at Durham University, my alma mater, so picking out the references and visualising everything in my head was an engaging and intensely nostalgic game. I loved that the Durham Pride Society was featured prominently in Loveless. While I wasn’t involved with them during my time at university (one of my regrets, actually), a conversation I had with their Welfare Officer was so important to me and my own ‘queer journey’ that it makes me so happy to read about several Pride Society members in Loveless being just as kind to Georgia.

“Maybe it’s not the heteronormative dream that she grew up wishing for, but…knowing who you are and loving yourself is so much better than that, I think.” Loveless by Alice Oseman

I’m really grateful that this book exists, because it’s made me comfortable to question and start unpacking how I feel, as well as learning more about other queer people. There’s no rush nor even necessity to label myself but I’m glad that I’ve opened myself to the consideration!

An advance copy was provided by Netgalley and HarperCollins Children’s Books in exchange for an honest review.