One and only counsel I have ever listened to
By: Irem Arık
Tags: Bold, Risk, Courage, Change, Comfort Zone

“Low aim is the crime. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fall.” So strong, even too strong words all together. For me as a girl who loved her comfort zone very much, the concept of “change” or any attempt towards this was just bringing me a feeling of stomachache. It is pretty similar today, yet my mindset is way different now. I know that people change, relationships change, situations change, but most important of them all YOU change. When you experience that your own mind is changing, your beliefs are evolving and your emotions are not there where you just left them, you feel like you can never be sure of anything whatsoever just because you have witnessed that yourself is also not a constant in life.

Change is inevitable, life is super complicated. There are too many probabilities for you and the people in your life. The reality can change so fast that you really can’t see what just hit you. That’s why mind resists change. It loves stability and control where it can predict future and take precautions for possible dangers but the thing is, with that much uncertainties, even you as a changing environment how can you possibly predict the future? When you think about it that even if you didn’t change anything, would other people, relationships, situations would remain the same? That would be very naïve to say “yes” to it. Time fastforwards and contexts change, one thing doesn’t: Change is the only constant that will exist all your life.

To my belief, we take ourselves so seriously. Life exists for 3.5 billion years, humans are here for 2.5 million years and you only live for 20–30 years? And you really think you matter that much like can you even scale? I get this, since we can only experience our own lives, what we can do is to live our lives. So, we make ourselves the center. And I believe it is beautiful because only living in the moment and being happy is what really matters after all. This matters not for the humanity or the world or the universe but only for ourselves and if we can achieve it, it is far more than enough. However, this should remind us to question that; if we take a risk to change something in life what is it to lose after all? Think about what takes you back from living your life to the fullest and how would you feel when you grow old and look back and see that you haven’t made any mistakes but also didn’t take any risks to do something different. I totally believe in high risk yields high gain. Yes, of course it still can mean high loss but you either win or you learn. I believe regretting a mistake would have the very same dissatisfaction, if not less than not trying or not taking any risks.

There are some unpredictable people, some unexplained energies between people and some unexpected occasions. These all require some sort of change in life and just because change feels unsettling we might walk away from them. You cannot even foresee what you are missing out with not taking your chance. Of course, take care of your comfort zone and people in it, they are super worthy for your time and effort. But at times you should get out of it to grow, to explore. When I was a child I was told “Do not settle, be bold İrem” by one of my parents’ friends. I think that is the only counsel I have ever followed and it acted as a fuel for me to create change in my life when necessary. This is not about always wandering around to new places, new concepts or new people. Grass in not always greener on the other side. I also love being centered and grounded and doing these with a person or rooting to a place is just beautiful. However, what this counsel is all about is knowing your worth, always being true to yourself about who you are and what you want and then having the courage to go out to get it. So, why not take the risk of someone to take you out from your comfort zone, a place change your reality or an idea to make you follow passionately that might result changing your life forever?

Last but not least of all those abstract words; when you think of the mind as the only powerhouse that perceives the world and interprets it, how would it be if we could replace “fear” with “curiosity” about an uncertainty? That must be a gamechanger because now we would be more willing to become bolder to fulfill our potential. After all, the barrier and the enabler is the mind. Unfortunately, I am not there, at least not yet, but it gives me some sort of hope and a reminder of endless possibilities in life and my own power on creating them.

I am proud of people who have proved me that people can change, of course in a good manner. I am glad I had people who acted so bold that also pushed me to be bold. I am happy to be aware of my change too because it is the end result of all my experiences while I am trying to live my life to the fullest. The girl of comfort zone, just couldn’t go back to her ex-self. Now, I feel it terrifying to have a very predictable life. This is not inviting chaos but embracing change when it comes and also creating change to enjoy the surprises of life. Not failure but low aim is the crime. Just take the leap of faith.