Quick Lessons on Parenting from a Non-parent
By: Ricardo De La Teja M.
Tags: Childhood, Life Lessons, Self Improvement, Parenting, Self

I can humbly say that my memory is sharp. I can recall lots of details from several years into the past. I’m a young adult now, and a grateful human being for the wonderful set of parents life granted me.

My childhood was as wonderful as one can imagine. It didn’t have to do anything with money. We weren’t filthy rich, but lucky enough to have a decent lifestyle.

Allow me to tell you the things I remember that made my childhood the most cherished stage of my development into a productive/independent young adult. If you just had your first newborn or plan to walk down that path you may enjoy this.

If we could dimension the effects that a bad childhood have on adults, we’d be focusing on giving our children the best possible emotional and intellectual care. There can hardly be a bigger truth.

Delaying Gratification

Commonly, parents wish to give their children everything they demand. It even seems as if that should be the default action: kid requests, parent grants.

I remember that mom and dad resorted to another behavior whenever I threw a tantrum. As any learned conduct, after several episodes of me not getting whatever the heck I wanted, I grasped — subconsciously, of course — the concept of delayed gratification.

Many parents give in to their children’s tantrum, reinforcing a non-healthy pattern. As grown-ups, these individuals have a hard time when coping with frustration; and, let’s face it, life throws much more speedballs after kindergarten.

We may all agree that society needs much more patient humans. Things definitely won’t always go our way. That’s a much easier lesson learned at a young age.

Time to Go to Bed

This one might be something that all parents should do.

Our brains’ most important development — 90% of it — takes place before we turn five years old. During our sleep, most of the physiological transformation occurs. Those first years of life are crucial for a healthy mind in the future.

Children need to sleep. Lots.

I recall my mom would put me to bed at 8 p.m. age six, and it really pissed me off. Around 6 p.m. she’d look out the window and yelled “Rickyyyyyy!”. I’d try to stay a bit longer playing with my neighborhood friends and, after 10 minutes or so, I’d go home.

If I wouldn’t obey, the punishment would be something like couldn’t going out and play the next afternoon.

Something as simple as learning to abide by my sleeping schedule forged discipline within me. To this day I find it easy to stick to a go-to-bed time every day; I can also wake up early without much difficulty.

It seems to me these are a couple of perks that come in handy for productive adult life.

“I’m Sorry”

Communication skills are essential for societal acceptance.

Learning to take responsibility for our actions is a requirement for engaging in healthy relationships with other individuals.

At an early age, I was taught the importance of apologizing after my wrongdoings. We all say and do things we regret. Our moral compass points them out — most of the time. For children, it’s not obvious what to do once we have done something bad. We shouldn’t expect that.

A responsible parent should help his or her child to acknowledge the fault and, more importantly, to amend it. Saying I’m sorry multiple times during my childhood taught me empathy and humbleness. Furthermore, it boosted my learning appetite.

If I’m aware of my mistakes, I should also be aware of the fact that others can teach me how to make things right. Thus, an individual that grasps this at an early age can put his or her ego aside and let all kinds of lessons pour in. In my opinion, the most valuable of them is the ability to listen.

It’s no secret that those kids that bully others may be suffering somehow. There’s always a reason for such behavior. More often than not they haven’t properly learned how to communicate whatever they may be going through.

Allowing “I’m sorry”, “I regret my behavior”, “I made a mistake” into a child’s vocabulary may be a big step towards more effective communication within his or her social circle. Naturally, social acceptance will follow.