Bitterness Serves No Purpose
By: Cj Bargamian
Tags: Anger, Positivity, Unemployment, Bitterness, Laid Off

Everyone knows someone who is bitter towards a prior employer, whether because they were laid off, were fired, or simply because they were unhappy enough there to quit. You might even BE one of those people — I know I have been at times. But if — and how — you represent this bitterness to those around you will say not only a lot about your character and maturity, but also about what kind of employee you might be to a new potential employer.

Let me speak from experience here a little bit. In 2014, the company I worked for was engaged in a cost-cutting initiative that would result in thousands of layoffs. Unfortunately, this process played out very publicly through a series of leaks to industry publications and local press, and it dragged on for the better part of a year. This left the workforce on-edge, demoralized, and generally unmotivated — and of course many strong employees left the company to pursue more stable employment elsewhere. Being one of two people in my department with similar roles, I knew I was potentially on the chopping block and thus started interviewing elsewhere. Long story bearable, I did not get laid off but DID manage to land a new role elsewhere with a better title and better pay.

But by the time all that dust settled, I was filled with bitterness regarding how it all went down with the company at which I’d previously really enjoyed working, and I let it show. Anyone who worked with me at the time would testify that I left that place while tossing a figurative hand grenade over my shoulder — I didn’t say anything nasty to anyone, but I definitely didn’t leave on a positive note. At that phase of my career, I was not known for keeping my thoughts to myself and I certainly had some growing to do in that area.

I was bitter. I was excited for my new role for sure, but I was sad. I was angry.

And you know what it got me? Nothing.

Bitterness like that serves no purpose but to eat you from the inside out, and to paint a picture to others that you aren’t much fun to be around.

So when I left that next role a couple of years later, I changed my tune. When people would ask why I left, I would say something like “I left mainly because there wasn’t a clear opportunity for advancement, and culturally the work environment wasn’t a good fit for me.” Sure, in private I would give more details to friends and colleagues, but once I was gone from that place…what was the point of spending a lot of time being bitter?

I see others openly showing their bitterness toward prior employers on social media all the time. Fortunately most of them know better than to talk that way on LinkedIn, but I don’t think they realize the effect their posts on other platforms can have on potential networking opportunities. I am connected to dozens of former colleagues on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter and their behavior there serves to paint an overall picture of what they are like beyond the polished professional persona they construct for LinkedIn. Most of the time, these personal/professional connections provide a glimpse into non-work aspects of colleagues’ lives — their families, their hobbies, their art, their senses of humor. That’s great! But this also provides an opportunity to see how long a person holds a grudge, or how much trash they talk about work, or generally how they handle challenging times.

And these things affect how likely I am to consider recommending or hiring a former colleague for a job in the future.

I would highly recommend that if you harbor ill-will towards a former employer that you LET IT GO. It will do you good. Find coping mechanisms within yourself to help you deal with them (I find gallows humor to be my go-to coping tool). And if you DO continue to hold onto those feelings, do not let them bubble over into the areas where your personal and professional lives overlap. I say these things as someone who has been guilty of this in the past and has had to work hard to overcome the image that resulted.

So LET IT GO.

Thanks for coming to my CJtalk!