A FAT HIKER WHO IS TRYING TO LOSE 100 POUNDS: ONLY A SMALL PART OF MY STORY…
By: Native Activist
Tags: Losing 100 Pounds, Obese, Hiking, Overweight, Fat Hikers

A FAT HIKER WHO IS TRYING TO LOSE 100 POUNDS: ONLY A SMALL PART OF MY STORY…

I just want to remind people that heavy people hike too. I have done over 100 summits and a total of 600 hikes and walks with my husband and I have had a hiking group for two years. I have a lot more to write on this topic/issue but I do not have the time right now. I also have fibromyalgia. I have had it for 30 years. For those who do not know, it is chronic muscular pain and a chronic state of tension in the muscles. I have been discriminated against for my weight on the trail. I want to add that on the trail, I have been called fat, physically poked by a thin, in shape older woman (over 60) who said, “You are fat and slow. Get off the trail.” I was in tears and I was beaten down (If it were me today, I would have defended myself much more) and I let it get to me. That was four years ago. Another guy, who was so arrogant he was wearing Speedos coming down a steep hike in Lincoln park when I was going up and out of breath (People who are fluffy struggle to breathe and sweat, so what? …Plus I have fibro) “Gee, I bet this is your first hike.” Why would he say that? At the point that he said that, I had done 500 hikes and walks in my life. My husband was there and said, “She is training for Rainier” just to make a point and the guy (who was barreling down the trail wearing Speedos with his junk hanging out) ran off.

There are other reasons why people are fat I was so hurt and felt so defeated at these times, like “Jerk, (or really want to say bitch) do you have any idea the courage that it takes to be fluffy on the trail?”. For me, being fat is a culmination of things: b/c I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Insulin Resistance. I have obesity in my family. I have fibromyalgia and chronic pain and inflammatory responses can make people fat.

I started my hiking group partially b/c thin people and the able-ists in the world seem to think that a heavy woman can’t hike. It really hurts to have people out there who do this. I was also left for dead on a hiking group I joined a few years back when I had a bad vomiting episode and got viciously ill and they did not wait for me. This is not about me believing them or letting them upset me. Or about taking it personally. It is about the fact that it is a form of prejudice that causes pain and makes my PTSD worse and hurts people and yet, I cannot tell you how many witnesses on trails saw it and did nothing to defend me. I have PTSD b/c I grew up in an abusive alcoholic home.

But even if I did not, this behavior is wrong and it needs to be stopped. The arrogance on the trails is disgusting and mother nature wants me on the trail, fat or not. I got left out of many groups. So, when i was about to give up on my life and give up on all of it…I started my group to prevent myself from suicide, and then people came. And then I changed it to “Super Slow Bears Hiking and Walking Group” b/c I had guys show up who were super fit and criticized me for being too slow, though it was all over the description. People in Meetup groups do not read the descriptions. So I changed it.Just based on how I look, I cannot begin to tell you how many arrogant thin people or fit people judge me here in the Northwest. Yet, I keep going. I have had fibro for 30 years. But we do amazing easy hikes and walks in my group. This last week, we did Mima Falls and it was gorgeous. It hurts that I still get judged on the trail by people who are thin. It can be like a microaggression through a look or sometimes it really blatant comments like “Wow, good job on your first hike” (Nope, not my first hike) or just lingering dirty looks and when I say hello, they won’t say it back.

Oh well…I keep on walking. I haven’t lost the weight (hardly any, which is horrifically frustrating) I have wanted, I do not stop despite suffering from anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia and being poor and not finding a job in my field of writing (for many years, though I still try, so if anyone hears of one, let me know) and living in public housing. I also am a Native American activist for 30 years (and not to get political, but a national Bernie Sanders delegate, though my voice as a Native American woman gets muted out and I have been abused and silenced by the Democrats in Philly and here in Washington state…too long of a story for another time). Many people who have joined my group move to advanced groups and never come back to mine (and they do not thank me for how amazing my group is), but it is okay. I am determined to show people that FLUFFY people can hike too as well as people with tremendous health challenges or whatever it may be. I want to add that I truly believe nature is there for us to share and celebrate our collective humanity, but on a deeper spiritual level b/c I walk the spiritual Red Road with my Native spirituality, I truly believe that nature is the true place where we can let down our guard and be who we are without fear or reprisal, fear of each other and we can love each other. So, I want the abuse of heavy women to stop from this elitist view that only a “certain kind of person” goes hiking, etc. It needs to stop. This is not helping or serving anyone. And I love that we ( in my group) have a non judgmental environment where people can be themselves, one that is positive and inclusive. I set that tone.