Day : 0. No need to mention how much of a bad of…
By: Sagar Das
Tags: Bad Decisions, Computer Science Engineer, Improvement, Goals, Life

Introduction

DATE : 19–July–2020 || Day : 0

No need to mention how much of a bad of a year it is 2020. For me the bad the part began from 31st of Dec 2019 when my grandfather was very sick. Everyone of my family was broken. First 3 months of 2020 was gone almost after my grandfather. He had two major operations and by God’s grace he is doing fine now.

Okay for the past two years, I was preparing for my GATE exam as I was always excited to go the IITs. And the exam was on February. I should not lie but my preparation was not really good. But I never thought of giving up and was expecting to get above 50 at least but I was away from studying from January because I had to go to grandfather’s home at Tamluk. Really had no other choice. I was there helping my mom and grandmother(Maya) to take care of grandfather. Those were really bad days. One day in March I got my GATE results and I barely passes with 30 marks and a rank of 10000. I was not sad but rather happy that I could at-least pass the exam.

I was so obsessed with GATE exam I did not sit for any college placements and now I realize that it is one of my many mistakes of life.

I was really into coding from my school days but did not have any idea like competitive coding until I reached college. I was performing quite good for first two three competitions but I don’t know what I left doing something I really liked. Again another of many mistakes of my life as I understand now.

Just wasted whole of my college life just messing around, playing video games and you know what one goes through during college days. Crush during college is okay but blindly running after her even after getting rejected is the most dumb fucking thing ever one can ever do. But had no choice and could not avoid her. Every time I gathered myself up and thought let it go and one text after months totally melted everything. If it happened to you, you could relate to me. Even today I could not get over her. She got a job and is really happy as far as I know. I even had a relationship during this period and I thought that would help me forget her but that even did not worked.

The other thing I am addicted to is CS GO. That is also one of the major reason for which I am in this position. The addiction level was of a level that I even told my father that I wanted to be a gamer and it was in November. That’s how I have really become.

But from May, I should say I am trying to gather myself down and am willing to fight back. I started competitive coding and really got a good result. I am currently a 4* Coder in just 2 months.

Now that I have promised myself to improve my life I was really confused between a lot of things like whether to appear for GATE(preferred by parents) or do competitive coding and do some high class project so that I can apply for product based companies. But my mom does not like idea as she wanted me to prepare for GATE and get a rank under 100 so that I can get into a PSU. And on a second thought I also realized that ain’t a bad idea because if I could do that then I can do competitive coding with a good job and then after two years I can get into IITs as GATE results are applicable for 3 years. And during those two years I can apply for jobs at product based companies.

So here I am now a jobless confused pathetic human trying to improve myself whatever it takes. I will set my own goals for next seven months, each days and each hour.

Lets see how it goes.