Why Sports (first Draft)
By: Curtis Loving
Tags: Teamwork, Learning, Childhood, Sports

A Basketball

Getting this thing started

My name is Curtis Loving, as we like to say when we were younger “ google me” of course this was in the early stages of the Internet.

Now, I don’t mean to come off as arrogant, but my intent is to showcase my arrogance as a youth. Arrogance is a funny thing.

It is one of the biggest psychological instruments in the success of an athlete, or person in our world.

You must have heard that saying “sports are 90% mental.” A anecdote I firmly believe based on personal experiences.

Funny thing about basketball is that even the most confident or arrogant person can’t do it all alone, I mean, this is a team sport we are talking about.

Now as I allude to suggest that I was some basketball great, I now clarify that my opening statement was pure arrogance, for at one point, I often asked why, and how?

I question ever experience as if it were all a dream, how did I get here.

I fought tooth and nail to not be there, yet I remained.

Of all of the people I had seen with a multitude of talent, who were far better than me how in the hell did I make anyone’s basketball team.

Moreover I made it, but how am I still here. How did this last so long.

Let’s start from Basketballs beginning.

At the age of 11 life had not been the most pleasant, thing weren’t terrible but my behavior to the best of my memory was.

See I was always a tall and what some would say too grown for his age, also matured fast, I mean, I had hit puberty, at the age of 11. With that biological change happening, as well as being an oldest child of 4 children, living with his single mother, only GOD would be able to assist me with all the thing I was dealing with.

I remember coming home from school one day, and to my surprise my moms wanted to take me somewhere.

I was always the type of kids to ask the questions that made adults uncomfortable, or the ones no kids shouldn’t ask, to say the least I have never been much of a listening.

Always needed to know why I was being asked to do something, and I can see how that can be frustrate in my very young mother.

So the question came, where are we going.

And to this day I recall this to be one of the best conversation to be had with me one.

Being spoken to in a way that would provide me with enough information to make a decision.

I remember my mother telling me that she only wanted what was best for me, she didn’t want to see, or my brother grow up as sorry ass men, and that if I had continued behaving the way I was that it would lead to a very rough life, one I would regret.

Either way at 5’10 at the time, that I was going to be to tall to stand on some corner, and sell drugs, which would be the only career path ahead of me at the rate I was going.

I remember her telling me that I needed an outlet for some of my anger, and that where I was going would be an option.

As a single mother it hard to work two or three jobs and manage children of different ages. I commend the many Queens of the world fighting against those odds, and the many Kings as well. Single parenting by my imagination is no JOKE!

Digression!

As we walk from 145th st and Frederick Douglass Blvd aka 8th Avenue to 142nd st and Malcome X Boulevard aka Lennox Avenue, I can’t help but remembering being nervous.

For some reason I thought I was being set up, maybe this would be a last conversation.

I mean when I reflect on some of my emotions transgression its almost as if I am reflecting on a completely direct person.

As we arrive at Lennox I see this huge brown brick building Minisink Town House in Bold green lettering.

Now unbeknown to me Minisink townhouse is a community center, as we walk in I hear children making noise and balls bouncing, now I had never touched a basketball before nor played any sports what so ever.

I would like for you to imagine my confusion.

My thoughts were, as I then, asked my mother, what are we doing here?

She gave no explanation, I recall her speaking with a man who was won to be my first basketball coach for a few moments, and then this man come to me and asks if I have shorts?

Of course not was the first thought that popped into my but I answered no I don’t.

He then says okay and there you have it. The day that started my career.

There is this phrase we like to use as current and former basketball players form urban communities, and it goes “Basketball saved my life” And I have to repeat this “ Basketball, Saved my life.

There are countless lessons I lend for playing basketball, and so much of my self esteem had been posting from my experiences as a ball player.

I will began with learning to deal with adversity, to either, plan to do something beyond your capability, and have to work towards being capable, or planing for success, which you know you’ve worked towards, and are more than capable of achieving and still coming short.

For the record I had to work extremely hard to catch up to the kds in my age group.

When I mentioned, the other kids talent’s surpassing mines, I meant that these kids were really damn good.

I struggled with making an uncontested lay-up, which in comparison, had to pitiful, majority of the kids I had tried I were way out of my league. Most of the kids could shoot 3 pointers and lay the ball up 1000 times better than me and I had height over some of them by the foot.

But these were thing I was aware and thing that if left alone I would have given up on myself f because of, but I had a coach that didn’t quit on me but most importantly never let me quit on myself, Self esteem built!

Have the experience of being so bad at something that you want to quit and overcoming that which was seemingly traumatizing is one hell of an experience, it is the experiential proof we can learn anything, and only reinforced that saying hard work pays off.

My hard work pay off, and that high expectation from my coach matched with higher support allows me to believe in myself when it was evident I did not.

One of the most important lessons I lesson ,even thought consider them all equally important was the importance of having a role, and how each role is just as important as any other weather you it is gloried or not.

I was the garbage man, a 5’10 11 year old, in New York is like being a 7’0 adult, lets just say at the time heigh came few-far, and wide.

My job was to rebound all the missed shots, contest all the attempt at the basket, fouled when I need to, and once learned, put layups back when I could.

When you think about it I had Ione of the most important jobs on the floor, if I collected every rebound, forced more missed shots, as well as scored when our team missed, I could be the biggest contributor in keeping the other team from scoring, while ensuring we scored more.

As a player who had just learned the game I happily did what my team needed me to do to help put us in situations to win games.

When a you are playing the game for the thrill of competing you often overlook how important any role on a team can be until you are out of a game, and your team loses, sometimes it is absence that makes a presence felt.

Playing my role alone lead me and my team to many championship, I was wining so many trophies I had to live some in my neighborhood barbershop, a few are still there to date.

But we also loss many championship, came up short, and those losses serve as valuable lessons as to why each role is important and why although some roles are more glorified no one is better than the next and tallest that work together is a waste of talent.

Playing basketball I learned Teamwork, Accountability, Goal Setting, Repetition, Character, Perseverance, Success, Failure.

These are some of the keys lessons learn and skills or traits developed from playin sports.

As I have stated no lesson being more important than the other, yet having it precedence over other in specific situation.

Accountability, now I have to say this is a lesson that can easily me missed without the proper coach, often people can find themselves rationalizing their short coming with blame on outside forces, this is not to say in some cases external factors do not play a role in our success but when dealing with children and teaching accountability which is a major part in self esteem and confidence building it is not wise to play the blame game. One of the way in which I learned accountably was through school, I remember my first report card while playing on my first team, finding many excuses as to why I was doing poorly in class.

My teachers don’t like me, i’m doing the work but they are grading me different from other students, any and every excuse expect the one truth, I was not trying because I did not see value in the curriculum, and that I wasn’t being stimulated.

My coach sat me down after being disappointed in my grades, and simply said, you are in control of your eligibility on this team, and that, if I wanted to be part of the team I had to have better grades. He added that no matter what the situation was, that there was nothing he was going to do to allow me to play. He then gave me the chance to make up it up by my next report card.

He explained, knowing I would ask, that even though the school was an after-school program were separate, that had to be accountable for my action everywhere, that what I do in one place they would affect my life in others.

As a 12 going on year old kid I understood the part abut not being able to do what I wanted because I didn’t take responsibility for doing what I needed to do.

It like the time I was told what my defensive assignment was any how to do it, “Curtis you gotta guard this kid he 6’10 but don’t worry just play physical, don’t let him get nothing easy,” and for every reason I couldn’t, I made excuse.

He was a foot taller than me, I can’t reach his shot etc…

When halftime approached I blame that as to why we were losing the game, my coach asked me if I was scared, and I said no, he replied “then I need you to play tough be physical, do not let him have it easy, and if that doesn’t work give him a hard foul, not to hurt him”. He also added “I got your back son.”

See he needed to know nothin is coming easy this half, that he wasn’t going to have his way because he toured over the rest of us.

It was my job from the beginning to make that statement.

I fouled the kid first play out, and what happened was almost unbelievable, one play changed the momentum game.

This kid got so frustrated that the dominance he had in the first half was almost non existent.

I mean the kid scored 30 point in the first half, he only scored another 10 in the second, which I must ad is extremely impressive.

We came back, after being down 30 points to win the game by 1 free-throw.

This was an experiences that would teach us a lesson in adversity, but allow me to learn a little bit about accountability. After the game my coach pulled me tooth side and said, do you see how important it is to do what your coach asks without making excuses, if you had done the job I know you are capable of in the beginning that game we wouldn’t have had to fight so hard. But more importantly that sometimes there are lessons in lessons and that to be able to fight back was a testament to God and perseverance.

He noted that he was proud of me for stepping up even though he knew the task would be difficult.

There is a certain amount of repetition that you get training foreparts as well as being a part of a sports team. There is a lot of hard work one has to constantly put in to develop the skills needed to perform as an individual player.

Not to mention the many practice hours need to take all that individual talent to mesh and play like a team. Through this process an athlete learns how important repetition is in development, and mastery.

If one tracks all of the training hours a player spends to learn the basic fundamentals, or even the time it take to fully comprehend the rules of the game, you began to understand how repetition is single most important tool in childhood development.

As an adult repetition which contribute to the compound effect is the single most important skill needed to be successful, Never quit.

As a member of a team it is important to always be working. To ensure you are an asset and not a liability.

Being as asset mean to know everyones role, understand your role, accept your role, and master your role, so that your can learn other roles in case you may need to step up in the absence or injury.

It is important to look at sports not only as lesson on sports but lesson in life.

A business cannot be successful without its players having the skills have mentioned previously.

When you think about it we are all apart if team Humanity. The most important team, Team us.

My aim is to point out, out of all you have read in the previous text is that without Team work nothing is accomplished.

Individual goal as cool important as they are to our ego, are minuscule in comparison to team goal, but equally important to our roles in the team we play on.

Like the many hats that we wear-which are interchangeable-some hats we can’t take off, and as far as teams, there are some teams we have no choice in being a part of.

For example as a parent, you are always team Dad or Mom and team Family.

There may be an illusion as to having an option, but the fact will forever remain you are the parent, and you would only being neglecting your responsibilities and role on the team by not playing the ordained part.

In the true conversation of life, I as Man, cannot change the color of my skin, or the family I am born into, two-teams, in this I have no choice.

With that established I can either play my role or “decide” not to which will inevitably effect the success of my team.

Further more My family is apart of a bugger team for they cannot change the color of their skin, or the family they are born into.

We don’t have a choice, and to think you do is to place yourself above the which will hurt you, and effect the teams success in the grand scheme of things.

Winners and Losers

Winning and losing are very important lesson to learn in life.

When we lose it affects our psychology.

We experience fear and anxiety, may exhibit feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and hurt.

Unexpected loss means rapid change and demands great adjustment.

Losses can come in different forms, they may result in starting over, with a new job, with a new career, new relationships as it pertains to our personal lives, they may result in a change in goals, strategies, or even personnel as it pertains to sports. The hiring or firing off of entire teams when speaking of business.

All of this can be a frightening experience.

Learning how to deal with things not going as planed is essential in developing resilience, that try it and try it again mentally.

How we deal with adversity is a skill we all need in order to continue the pursuit of happiness.

This skill is most beneficial to those who learnt at a young age as childhood is somewhat of a roller coaster ride.

Learning to accept winning and losing is what helps us to attain traits like grit and perseverance.

From the day we begin to socialize we experience wins and loses snd various ways, from peek-a-boo, to the family board game, to competitive sports activities. Popularity contest.

It is important for us to be able to process those feelings by being able to recognize them.

How we dealing with our losses is the true determine factor in if we are a winner or a loser.

Its all about how we celebrate our loses in this world.

I don’t consider many things a loss for the record.

In my short lived life every adversity or unwanted outcome has become a lesson.

An experience I can go back to, to pin point what I did well and what I could have dome better to achieve my desired goal.

This is one of the most important skills we can develop as we experience wins and losses.

This is something I think parent should be teaching their children at as early of an age as 2 or 3 years of age.

At the age of 2 children are able to understand empathy which is key to the developing a sense of sportsmanship.

older children understanding winning.

The concept of winning and losing and the skills required to combat the emotional distress are the foundation for building up the strength of our children to deal with the harsh realities of life but most importantly the harsh realities of our past.

Being of a Race of winners but in modern day losers depending on which perspective you chose to see us as a race through can fuel anger and resentment for us or our competitors. A resentment for what may be deemed as a lack of competitive nature.

(Give examples Historic Battles of African Victories, Sports underdogs who have loss only to come back to win “LeBron James” “Celtics vs Lakers” “Seattle Sea Hawks”)

The important thing to note is that a winners loss with the right mindset turns the loss into a lesson, sending the winner back to the drawing board to create a better plan for the next competition.

It is a chance to look at what was done well and what could be done better so that the winner can capitalize next time around.

The struggles and losses of a team serve as pivotal moment in that teams maturation and evolution.

There is a scary truth about competitions and that is that there is usually only one winner. All other competitors lose.

The toll weighted on the loser or emotional distraught is determined by their own expectations.

The most important lesson in wing and losing is that the effects of participating in competition whether we are aware of it or not cannot be avoid.

Psycho and physiological changes cannot be avoided.

It is interesting when we think about the level of happiness of the runner up in comparison to those who were counted out of the race, or didn’t make it to that last competitive vent. Seemingly the closer we get to winning without achieving the goal more often the more distraught we are about it.

For example The NBA has a total of 16 teams that make the playoffs each year, and out of those 16 team we can usually remember the two who competed for the championship.

For some reason the biggest loser out of the 15 team seems to always be the team that could not take home the gold metal, but what about the other 14 regular season winners?

Is there short coming not greater that the runner up? More over the NBA is split by conferences that have a pre championship before the NBA championship, are the runner up and champion not proven winners? “Digression.”

In order to combat the gut wrenching feeling or losing coupled with the anxiety and the hit to our ego which needs to retain self imagery, or the seemingly on set anxiety the frame work in which we view competitor needs to change.

The way in which we teach our children about completion its purpose and their place in competition is important because they will compete in many races throughout their lives, the “race” the race for a job, for the love of there life, the foot race, the race for their ego