Four weeks off
By: Leah Romm
Tags: Time Off, Baking, Work Life Balance, Food, Cooking

I recently quit my job.

I had been there for almost two years, and it was my first job. I learned a lot, developed a lot of skills, and had some pretty incredible experiences very early in my legal career.

But I also burned out pretty badly. Part of that had to do with going to law school straight out of undergrad. Part of it had to do with the kind of person I have long been (Type A, anxious, people-pleasing, “insecure overachiever”), and have recently begun un-being. Part of it had to do with the nature of the “Big Law” industry. And part of it had to do with the way the COVID-19 pandemic forced one part of my apartment to become my office, my gym, and my living room — these parts of my life were crammed into one small space, leaving me no room and no option but to reassess what I was doing professionally and personally, and, more importantly, why.

One — perhaps the most — constant source of solace during the past few years has been food: creating it, consuming it, and sharing it with people I love. I have always loved food, not only for the sensation of eating something delicious but also, and more so, for the unique way in which it creates community. The way certain foods or meals or restaurants hold memories has always fascinated and moved me. Even years later, I can recall where or what I ate in connection with a particular occasion. And, more recently, I have grown to love making food, whether cooked or baked.

yes, yes I do lovingly gaze at most food this way, why do you ask?

I didn’t really begin cooking until the end of college, and I certainly would not have called myself a baker until early 2020. Right before the pandemic started, I began following along with Bon Appétit’s Basically Guide to Better Baking. The 10-week guide took me from occasionally baking challah — just about the only thing I could bake consistently well — to feeling confident making chocolate chip cookies (historically, mine had turned out more like bricks with chocolate chips in them), “restaurant quality” (as my friend kindly called them) fudge brownies, focaccia, biscuits, galettes, and more. I was hooked on baking, and particularly enthralled by the knowledge that I could create just about any baked good if I was patient and focused enough.

Baking is therapeutic, meditative, soothing, and (even for me, an uptight person with some deep-rooted fears of imperfection) truly fun. It is a hobby that delights me to no end, and one I can share with people I love. It’s how I sparked a friendship with new neighbors who moved in next door last winter, how I kept in touch with friends across the country who ordered sourdough loaves made by partner and me as we participated in #BakersAgainstRacism, how I bring a little something to the table when I visit my family or friends for dinner. (I love cooking, too, and enjoy it for many of the same reasons. But baking is really where I seem to shine when it comes to making food.)

The combination of being an attorney at a big firm, living through a pandemic and its accompanying stressors, observing a world literally and metaphorically on fire, and feeling incredibly burned out by all of these things left me with no energy — and worse, no desire — to bake or cook for much of this year. I started a baking-focused Instagram last winter to try to motivate myself to bake but ended up constantly feeling like I didn’t have the energy to keep it up. To feel as depleted as I did and not be able to access the one thing I knew could help felt pretty miserable. The few times I did feel up to baking something during the weekend or making dinner on a weeknight felt simultaneously wonderful (healing!) and maddening (the healing was fleeting!).

these spelt croissants (Claire Saffitz’s recipe from Dessert Person) are probably my greatest accomplishment

I have a job lined up, one I am earnestly very excited about. But before then, I am taking four weeks off, starting today. When people ask me how I want to spend these weeks, the first thing that comes to mind is: baking (and cooking) as much as I can. I want to make up for lost time. I want to thank my partner for all the days/weeks/months he spent making us dinner because I was still working or too wiped from the day I’d had. I want to learn how to create new dishes without the constraints of the work day or work week holding me back.

And I want to share it with you, if you feel inclined to follow along. My goal is two-fold. The first part is simple: to make (at least) one, home-cooked or -baked item a day. It can be a meal, a batch of cookies, or an ingredient (like a curd or croutons or pie dough) — whatever I feel like, no matter how big or small. Just as long as I’m spending some time in the kitchen each day, learning something new or perfecting an old technique or recipe. (I’ll be sure to link to the recipe(s) I’m using, or write them out when they’re my own!)

The second part is a little trickier: to get writing again. As you can imagine, being an attorney requires writing a lot. I basically spend my days writing — emails, drafts, memos, you name it. But that writing looks a lot different than the kind of writing I’m doing right now. It’s a kind of writing I haven’t done a lot of (and the last time I did was nearly six years ago). But it’s a kind of writing that I feel quite a bit of (albeit self-conscious) joy doing. (Also a lot of fear, but I’ll get over it.)

So there it is: what I want to do with my four weeks off is try to cook or bake and then write something about it every day. There will likely be a couple of days where that goal won’t be achieved, and that will be okay, because I’m just doing this for myself, for fun, with no purpose in mind but to use this time to indulge in two activities that bring me a lot of happiness. (Oh, and I’ll also try to throw in a couple of things, like an article I read that day that I recommend, or what I was listening to while in the kitchen.)

After years and years devoted to my professional growth, I’m really excited to take a breath and focus on different passions and interests of mine. I’m unaccustomed to the feeling of having this much free time. (And maybe this project is partly indulging a part of me that feels she always needs to be doing something productive.) Regardless, I’m genuinely looking forward to it, and if you’d like to follow along, then I’m happy to have you here.

I’ll see you tomorrow for the first installment.

my beloved kitchen, where I’ll be spending a lot of time this month

For simplicity and ease of access, here’s a rolling list of my daily posts:

On August 30, I started my new job. My final post, which you can find here, reflected on my four weeks off and all the wonderful time I spent in my kitchen.