I Buy A Pistol
By: Lane Taylor
Tags: Race, Politics, Society, This Is Us, Guns

I am a white dude ,grew up in small town (pop.1,200) Ohio,currently living in the Pacific Northwest. I have never opposed gun ownership. I grew up with rifles. We could walk downtown with them slung on backs to meet up for treks into the surrounding woods. (We never thought of shooting a person.) Squirrels,rabbits,rats and varmints were open season. Year round. There were accidental shootings ,though rare. Suicides, even rarer. We looked at guns like tools and respected their power. Fast forward to now. Your piece resonates with me to the point of chills up the spine. I also have recently bought a semi-auto pistol. I already had my Old Henry lever action .22 ( Love that rifle.) The small ghetto community in which I currently dwell is home to some ,shall we say 'Real White Trash.' These are people who have made willful ignorance into an art form. People who won't even pick up their own cigarette butts. Dog owners who feel entitled to allow their dogs to shit anywhere. It's a level of disrespect and fucking awfulness I have not seen before. Not like now. There are among these motley residents chronic malingerers. S.S.I. Disability recipients,Oregon Health Plan,Food stamps ,Assisted rent ,subsidized housing the list is fucking endless. Did I mention drug and alcohol abuse? The non-working folks here,do nothing most days. They get stoned, get high and wrench on their cars and trucks. There seems to no shortage of funds for their addictions. pot,beer cigarettes. I moved here for several reasons: Affordability a garage for storage and a freezer,a small yard which I have turned into a productive herb ,flower and veg garden. The dwellings are old stucco cottages which served as Officer’s quarters back in the day. Run down and seedy but livable. The reason I bought a pistol? I learned a lesson from the ‘old trout’ living next door. We had one conversation about cultural,political stuff. I tried explaining in broad strokes,this Nation was clearly an Empire in decline and it does not matter who is ‘running the show’. Her answer to all the issues facing us ,as a Nation was, “ 8 Years of Obama” “Obama is not an American.’ “Obama-Care is evil.” Hilary Clinton is a sexually predatory, cannibal feeding off murdered children and fetuses.” “Trump is a Hero” as the conversation degraded into the mantra” 8 Years of Obama” I had to go vomit. I’m not super political. George Carlin and Bill Hicks are my 2 favorite comedians. Chris Hedges and Col. Larry Wilkerson are two of my most admired thinkers.Oh yeah,and Noam Chomsky,though as he ages, I have to speed up the audio. I was not even an Obama supporter. I believe he is just as much of a bullshitter as Trump, simply more genteel. I actually voted for Mitt Romney. Not ashamed of it. He looks like a Gallant Knight’ compared to Trump. I could not vote for Sarah Palin. (in retrospect how much worse than now could it have been?) Anyways,back to this microcosm of bottom feeders and Socialist White Trash receiving entitlements from a Socialistic array of safety nets. Oh wait….these motherfuckers hate Bernie. They are resolutely opposed to socialism in all its iterations. They have neither a ‘pot to piss in nor, a window to throw it out of”However ,in their delusional low level intelligence,(approaching troglodyte dimensions) they somehow feel a need to have a real boner for their man Trump. What Trump should have said: “I could ass pound someone, with no lube, on 5th Ave. and get away it.” I believe that is probably true. This based upon some of these knuckle draggers arousal over Trump. Well, that said,I did decide to buy a pistol, just in case. As a borderline sociopath myself (functional and self aware)I believe, during a self defense posture, I would be able to take care of aggressors. Sad that it has come to this. Scary that these, ‘Trump Death Cult’ members put me in mind of Jim Jones and Jonestown. Jim Jones was a mass murderer. However,he did not start that way. I lived in California during the entire decade 1970–1980. Jonestown happened in 1979. Prior to Jones taking his followers to remote Guyana he was a force for good and positive social change in the Sanfranciso/Oakland Bay area. Advocating for the poor and inner city youth,single mothers,school and lunch programs. Food banks and shelters etc. Turns out he was evil at the end. I don’t dispute that. That said, consider someone like Trump and his Death Cult. They began with their reign of bullying and race baiting,misogynistic rants and intimidation. They opened with racist ideology. Trump is a cipher. He contains no real human content. I have noticed his Cult members talk and act the same. No regard for any ones safety or rights. No empathy for any people of color. They act like things occur in a vacuum. One dimensional. No consequences. Touting the most absurd conspiracy theories to ever come down the pike. When your opening is brazenly anti-social,threatening and sadistic whats the follow up? How do you change that? Why should they? Yes,I read and understood your piece. I read it twice. I am white dude,I try to be a critical thinker and employ reason. This seems to be so threatening to this subset of Death Cult members they will brook no dissent or especially disdain for Trump. I cannot begin to put myself in a black or brown American’s shoes. I just can’t. But,I can tell you as wary and,maybe paranoid, as I am now, being a person of color the feelings, of being unsafe must exponentially expand. I feel for you and all kindred souls who never asked for this. We did not start the fire. I will stand and I will do my very best to protect those I love and the community members who actually give a shit. Thanks for the piece. Very well done.