What Is The Value That You Bring To A Relationship?
By: Sara Knick
Tags: Values, Dating, Relationships, Relationships Love Dating, Love

I brought a lot of value to my relationships in the past. I made the mistake of dating men that did not understand my worth and I took to heart how they viewed me. This was back in my early twenties to mid twenties. It’s a common mistake that happens. We don’t understand our worth and think that we are worth less just because a man (or it could be anybody else) has a certain opinion about us.

We want to be valued, but we will not be valued if the other partner has lower standards than us, cannot identify our true value and/or tries to degrade us in any way. If we allow the judgment of our value to be put into another’s hands without knowing it ourselves, we will be left feeling unhappy, confused, devalued and insignificant.

If another cannot see our value and worth in the dating world, we can’t make that person see the value that we have. If someone has not grown up with us, they will not directly see the different aspects of our personality or the values that we hold. That is what you learn over time with somebody. If the partner that we are dating or are in a relationship with does not hold the same values as we do, we may get easily frustrated because we are out of alignment.

Having the understanding of what value that we bring to any relationship will boost our self confidence and make us feel solid in our love decisions. In dealing with those people that devalue us, we need to weigh out the pros and the cons of having those people in our lives, especially in a romantic connection. Is it worth it to us to keep this person in our lives? Is this person helping add value to our lives or devaluing us?

Using some introspection and coming up with concrete answers as to what we value, why we value it and what values we would like to have in another partner will serve as a compass in our love life. When we don’t see the matching values that we desire in another partner, we have the choice and the free will to move on.

Our emotions may get the better of us and we may feel compelled to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t match our values. We may let lust take the lead.

Regarding my relationships, I value someone who does what he or she says. This may seem like a small thing, but it has saved me a lot of heartache and pain. I value loyalty, honesty and those who will follow through with their promises. I choose to part ways with those that are flaky and will talk a big game, but will not act. It’s a huge turn off for me. The questions that you need to ask yourself are: What matters to you in your relationships? What do you need in your life? What can you absolutely not tolerate? The answers to these questions are the keys to your happiness.

We may have not even considered that we have value or bring value to a relationship, but the fact is that if we’ve ever encountered the dating world and had dates, there was something that we had that made us desirable. We all have value. When we figure out what value we have and find a partner that has the values that we desire, we have a great relationship in the making!