Help! We’re The Writers of The Princess Switch And We Have No Idea Who Is Who Anymore
By: Sean Peecook
Tags: Holidays, Humor, Netflix, Satire, Comedy

Image Copyright: Netflix

As the writers of The Princess Switch and The Princess Switch: Switched Again, we’ve been honored to share two chapters in the story of lookalikes Stacy De Novo and Lady Margaret, both of course played memorably by Vanessa Hudgens, and we’d love to keep making them — but to our embarrassment we’ve totally lost track of who any of these characters are.

The first movie was simple enough; a baker travels to Aldovia, sorry, Belgravia, for a competition, runs into her royal lookalike, and decides to switch places for love and Christmas — cliche, but no one’s complaining. The trouble started in the sequel where we added a third role played by Hudgens into the mix. Honestly, we got greedy. More does not always mean merrier.

We can’t even tell them apart from their vaguely European accents anymore, because now two speak like that. Add in the secret agent swaperoos and it might as well be Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

God, those schmucks at Christmas Prince have it so easy, with everyone being who they say they are. Now there’s a baby? Big whoop.

Anyway, we’d love to start production on a third Princess Switch where all three in our Huddle of Hudgenses switch places again to get some perspective on their marriages, but we could not even begin to tell you who any of these characters are pretending to be. It’s like the jumbo-tron thing where you have to guess which helmet the ball is under but we could get fired.

Best guess, the princess one is in Chicago with her new husband who is a baker… wait, we made two of them princesses? And another one became a queen while the new one tried to fake being queen? And the queen bakes? Wait, no. Queens don’t bake, do they? Shit. I have no idea.

Okay, what if at the beginning of the movie they get together for a girls weekend and loudly announce who each of them are? We’re just spitballing here. Netflix needs this script like tomorrow.

What you have to understand is that we felt unstoppable. When you switch successfully once you feel like you can keep switching and switching until one day you find yourself in over your heads with Netflix breathing down your neck. We’ve made charts, rewatched the movies, and consulted Christopher Nolan, but even he couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Don’t tell our producers, but we can’t even keep track of the fake countries. How’s that our job?

Our backs are against the wall. The studio wouldn’t go for our name tag idea, and when I suggested that the third lookalike should be played by someone other than Hudgens they said I fundamentally don’t understand my own idea. Thanks for the note! Here’s one back: How is that helpful?

Now we’re staring down part three of the trilogy where there will undoubtedly be a fourth, fifth, even sixth Hudgens–an endless sea of Hudgenses, all simultaneously there and not there, like a superposition in quantum physics, without a single clue to who any of them are. And the baker’s daughter of course. She’s so cute and sassy.

Shit, we just got off the phone with Netflix and they said if we don’t get our act together they are going to give the script to those Christmas Prince hacks. If we get fired we’ll have to go back to Hallmark and that IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

If you want a Netflix credit, contact us ASAP.

Until then, we’re going to start throwing stuff at the wall… Maybe Stacey De Novo wakes up in Chicago baking for Lady Margaret’s ex lover… yeah. That’s good. But it’s all a dream, like Chris said. Really, she’s Fiona, fleeing from her transgressions in Belgravia on her way to Kantramia (new country) to visit Vanessa Hudgens herself, thematically facing off with herself in a hall of mirrors where… where… we got nothing.