I Hooked up With a Guy From Tinder, and It Didn’t Go as Planned
By: Penelope Banks
Tags: Humor, Personal, Sex, Sexuality, Dating

Good ole Atlantic City, New Jersey. One city I will never forget. For many reasons but this one is by far the most memorable.

Just over two years ago I was living on the Jersey Shore after driving around the United States in my car. I needed a break, so I decided to stop in Jersey and Spend some time with some friends.

One fall weekend, I made the two and half hour drive down to Atlantic City for a weekend at a convention with one of my friends. Prior to the convention starting, I had agreed to meet up with a guy I had been talking to on Tinder for about two days.

I knew what I was doing when I signed up for Tinder. I didn’t have any expectations for how things were going to go. Not only that, but I was simply looking for fun and adventure after a very public break up I had just experienced.

Anyway, the guy I eventually met up with was working at one of the Casinos downtown AC, right down the street from the hotel we would be staying at for the convention. So it was very convenient for both of us.

We both agreed that the following would take place: I would arrive at the hotel and check-in to a room he had booked for me. I would then get ready and tie myself up on the bed and wait for him to “break-in” and take advantage of me by way of having anal sex. It was a consensual agreement.

Sounds enticing right? That’s what I was going for. Fun, enticing, and adventurous. Only it didn’t take long before things got weird. Really weird.

I arrived at the hotel, checked in, and let him know which room they put me in. He immediately responded and told me he would be up in 20 minutes. I had 20 minutes to prepare, and I was starting to get nervous.

I kept thinking, “What am I doing here? Why am I doing this? I don’t even know this person. This could be horrible.” My nerves were getting the best of me. But I got ready anyway and did was I was told because that’s who I am. I’m a total sub (submissive).

By the time I finished getting ready I had about two minutes to spare. So I laid on the bed and waited. I was shaking but there was no turning back now. And after two minutes of waiting, he entered the room promptly and did exactly what he said he was going to do.

He came in, to tighten my restraints, and didn’t speak a word to me before abruptly inserting his penis into my anus. And let’s just say, he didn’t get exactly what he was expecting out of that interaction.

Yep, you guessed it. I pooped on him. And it was super embarrassing.

The poor guy immediately got up and left. On his way out, he said “I’ll text you later.” But let’s be honest, I knew he wasn’t going to text me later. Why would he? I literally just pooped on him. I don’t blame him for leaving or for never texting me again.

I cleaned myself up, and then I started googling things like “accidents during anal”, just to see if I wasn’t alone in this. To see if someone, someone where had experienced the same thing before.

And much to my surprise, this kind of thing happens all the time. So I started to feel a little less embarrassed and decided that I wasn’t going to beat up on myself about it. I was human. I had a very human experience. Maybe not a pleasant one, but a one I could learn from nonetheless.