JANY DO YAR!!
By: Khurram Shahzad
Tags: First Post, My Story, Fitness, Body Shaming

Okay so here we go with my first story out here on medium!

I am a huge fan of John Keats and his idea of Negative Capability but I had to cast his theory aside for my first story out here. Everything you are going to read from now on will be nothing but my actual emotions!

I've always been against body shaming or fat shaming to be precise. I know there are a lot of people out there who aren't fat but still they get body shamed because not fitting in that Ideal Standard Of Physique that the society has set for us.

I have all the sympathies in the world with you guys as well but believe me you, You only suffer about 10% of what a Big Guy is going to go through.

So yeah! I was born on 14th of August 1996 ( 9 months ki qaid sy azaadi mili thi mujhe) In a Kashmiri Butt Family. ( I hope you know why I told you that ). 😅

I was just like a normal kid who was actually neither too fat nor too skinny. I was at the Ideal weight till around 11 years.

So, It was the marriage of one of my sisters. I don't really remember it properly but from what my mum tells me I ate way too much those days lol.

Cutting a long story short, I fell ill. Had to undergo a proper treatment and a lot of drips had to be injected to get me back to life.

Well, Life was never the same for me again!!

There was a lot of inflammation in my body and as the medical students might be aware that IV fluids may sometimes cause water retention in the body and that may cause some weight gain!!

Although, this doesn't has to happen always but It happened to me.

So, I bulked up a bit, got into my puberty age and boy oh boy, I can't tell you how much I used to eat!!

Taking you back to the reference of Kashmiri Family, Our normal meals are feasts believe me you!!

I used to have 2 to 3 parathas at breakfast leading to quite a few plates of Rice at Lunch!

Dinner? I don't even remember how much I used to eat at dinner before I jumped into my bed to sleep with my snickers bar!

Time went on and so did my weight!

In 2016, I weighed in at 133 Kilograms!

Yup you read that right.

I was a human being of One Hundred And Thirty Three Kilograms!

Whatever were the reasons for my weight gain or whatever its effect was on my health and normal day life, No one had the right to shame me right?

But that would only happen in an Utopian World to be honest!

Let me tell you some of the names I was called back then.

Sumo Pehalwan

Mota ( The most common one )

ALLAH di Majj 🤷‍♂️ ( Lol that brought a smile on my face )

These were just of the very few names that I can remember! But those one liner taunts? OMG!! They were killer wallahi!

Thora turya phirya kr yarr..

Bowling krda a ty pura jism hilda a aida.

Yaar ye teri chest larkiun wali hai na.

Hath lgwa na aik dfa chest py yar.

Kapray Kahan sy lete ho yar? Puray a jaty?

While writing these lines, I got goosebumps again as I remember how these words went in like a dagger into my heart.

I was a bright student all my life, was a debate champion of Sialkot city, Was the captain of My college cricket team and still my Identity was

" Yar Wohi Khurram Butt Jo Mota Sa hai"

This killed me! Believe me you It killed me!!

I couldn't wear the clothes that I loved.

I used to be the first guy to enter college and last to leave ( So I didn't have to Face any human being )

I used to wear jackets and uppers till mid of April or may even just to avoid being body shamed.

I never wore white clothes.

I never went to marriage ceremonies.

Would you believe it? I missed the marriage ceremony of my own brother!! I literally ran away from the ceremony because I couldn’t take the trolls anymore!

It wasn't that I didn't love myself even back then. I loved myself the same as I love myself today but these people always had to tell me that I look terrible.

I was never a loser! I was never a guy who would give up in life but these lines even caused me to ponder about suiciding because I could not take it anymore!

I literally went into depression and had to undergo a proper treatment to come out of it.

Moving on with life, 6th June 2016 marked a change in my life.

I decided to change my complete lifestyle and adopt a rather healthy one.

I ate healthy. Worked my ass off at the gym and in 2017, Your Boy was standing at his ideal weight with even a few abs to show for my hard work and Persistence.

I was the talk of the town again! Now they came up with " He has taken steroids"

The ones who knew that I didn't said " He is on drugs"

Haha! I heard a lot of it and threw it away in the dustbin because I knew they do not matter anymore!!

So, do you think that body shaming stopped there?



Haha! I wish it did actually!

Everyone who has lost a drastic amount of weight or is into fitness must know what comes after a weight loss!

Loose skin

Stretch Marks

Now, when I finally got myself fit, they were worried about the loose skin I had and stretch marks on my body :)

The shaming never stopped and even to this day, even the best of my friends, pass a comment about it without even caring because everyone thinks that it's okay to body shame right?

WELL, IT’S NOT!!!!

Not everyone gets proper treatment after depression.

Not everyone's family supports like mine.

Not everyone tries as hard as I did.

Not everyone Is going to survive the torture that you make them go through!!

YOU CAN LITERALLY KILL SOMEONE WITH YOUR WORDS.

I'd request all of my readers to make a promise at the end of this story.

Do not make a promise to me, Make a promise to your very own selves!!

WE WILL NEVER BODY SHAME ANY HUMAN BEING EVER AGAIN IN LIFE!!!

If you actually care about them, just guide them and be with them on their journey towards a healthy lifestyle but passing comments on their body is only going to make it harder for them I tell you!!

I planned to write this story at around 500 words but couldn't control my emotions as I said I am gonna ignore Keats for this one At Least.

I hope you leave as a better person after reading this.

Have a good one everyone!! See you soon with the next one.

Ciao Adios ❤️