The Gayest Quotes of 2020
Tags: LGBTQ, Gay, Transgender, Nonbinary, Creative Non Fiction

1. “Straight people can’t have a Straight Pride month for the same reason that you can’t get a blue shell when you’re in first place on Mario Kart.” — Unknown

Before I began writing down the authors of the quotes that I loved, I read this gem. It’s a high-quality comeback in a variety of situations, and it’s the perfect phrase for a Pride or protest poster.

2. “Progress in one area of the community doesn’t translate to progress in all areas of it. That is a notion which we must dissuade people of, lest parts of our community are left behind, forgotten while others of us enjoy the progress of the ages.” — Sean Bennett

This. More people need to understand this. Nuff said.

3. “There was the self I wanted to get away from and the self I aspire to. But no one ever gives you a certificate for when you’ve made it.” — Riley Black

There are several people who could stand to hear this, cis and trans and queer and straight alike. Whether the conversation centers around transitioning “too far,” being “gay/nonbinary/bisexual/etc. enough,” or generally figuring out who you are and who you want the world to see, this sentiment rings true. At the end of the day, the only person who truly knows whether or not you’ve “made it” is you.

4. “Sometimes, how trans we are is really a function of how much privilege we have.” — Arabelle J.

Not everyone can transition in the legal and physical senses of the word. Being “acceptably trans” costs too much money. Changing birth certificates, state IDs, driver’s licenses, passports, credit cards, Social Security cards, insurance plans, and all of the rest isn’t free. The only free thing to change is a Starbucks Gold card. That isn’t much. When you start factoring in surgeries and hormones, we easily end up talking about tens of thousands of dollars. And, with all of that said, some trans folks still aren’t able to “pass” — through absolutely no fault of their own. Transness cannot be based solely off of whether or not an individual has enough money to be what others need to see.

5. “Those who pass, fight to keep their identity. Those who do not, fight to have their very identity even recognized.” — Emily

Most trans folks who go through the process of visibly transitioning have likely been on both sides of this situation. It’s important that we remember that all trans identities are valid, period.

6. “It wasn’t like I’d thought, Oh I’m actually a guy from the get-go: that concept didn’t exist in my world yet. I didn’t even know you were allowed to think like that.” — Arin Andrews

I’ve linked Arin’s book Some Assembly Required: The Not-So-Secret Life of a Transgender Teen. It’s well worth the read, especially if you are a trans man or transmasculine. He brings a lot of weightier gender concepts down to an easily digestible level, and as a fellow young adult, I appreciate that.

7. “My existence as a straight trans-man is not an act of rebellion against women or lesbians. I exist as I am meant to exist. All trans people — men, women, and non-binary alike — do. Let us live our truth.” — Cassius Corbin

After the Elliot Page bashing earlier this month, this quote becomes even more poignant. Live and let live. Our community could use a lot more of that.

8. “I don’t think a lot of cis people recognize just how exhausting exchanges like these can be. It takes a lot of mental energy to constantly monitor how people talk about you, ready at all times to jump in and stand up for yourself. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I want to be respected, I will have to fight for it. No amount of patience and politeness is gonna make people change.” — Devon Price

I want to put this quote on a pack of business cards and hand them out to people who get defensive when I correct them for misgendering or misnaming me or someone else. Seriously, it is so much more emotional labor on our end than it is on yours. Apologize and do better next time. That’s all we’re asking for.

9. “Who would choose to be marginalized, brutalized, and victimized repeatedly?” — Zada Kent

I deeply relate to this quote as a young queer person of color. Being queer isn’t a trend, and it isn’t something anyone is doing just for fun. Zada sums that up well.

10. “I’m willing to lose as many people as it takes, to never again lose myself. “ — Glennon Doyle

I heard this on a podcast hosted by The Minimalists. The quote isn’t queer specific, but it fits the bill perfectly.

11. “If someone is asking sincerely, then that’s one more person who gives a damn about someone other than themself. That’s one more person interested in higher learning, expanding their mind, changing from a fixed to a growth mindset, breaking down barriers, or building a bridge. That’s a very good thing, and we could certainly use more of it right now. “ — Martie Sirois

I like this quote because it reminds me to keep an open mind when answering questions about my identities as a queer, trans, nonbinary, Brown individual. Sometimes, people really are just trying to learn, and even though their language and phrasing isn’t the best, they do want to improve. Hissing at my neighbor who wants to know why I’m not a trans man won’t help my case. When I have the bandwidth, I aim to be as open as possible to conversations with people who aren’t very literate in the fields of gender and race.

12. “Follow the gender euphoria.” — Riley Black

Period. Send tweet.

13. “Don’t you think you deserve to live openly as yourself?” — Dr. Taylor from I Wish You All The Best

Everyone should read this book. I was lucky enough to stumble upon it sitting in my dorm’s lending library. Dr. Taylor, the protagonist’s therapist, is the kind of support system we could all benefit from. Take this quote to heart and run with it — whatever that means for you.

14. “Love yourself — unless you have a better idea.” — Jen Sincero

Go into 2021 with this emblazoned on your soul. There really isn’t a finer point to put on the self-love journey than this. No matter what letter you are in the acronym, you deserve love and joy, to look in the mirror and love the person staring back at you.