How 2020 Broke White Male Rage
By: Elizabeth Conard
Tags: Social Change, White Privilege, 2020, Equality, Male Privilege

It began with one word: privilege. I was sitting at my makeshift office in the middle of my living room, my desk strewn with cloth masks and paperwork, texting a close friend from the West Coast. This friend — K, as I call him here — is a White male who grew up in a middle-class family, albeit without the perfect childhood or perfect adulthood, for that matter. Amongst our daily ramblings, K mentioned that he was growing tired of seeing commercials for Greta Thunberg’s climate change documentary. With little thought, I somewhat jokingly responded with “that sounds very privileged of you.” K became angry, the fight escalated, and we stopped talking without discussing the topic at hand.

I haven’t spoken with K again in the weeks since, but I have deeply reflected on the anger that bubbled up within him at the suggestion that his statement was privileged. As a woman, I am quite privy to men interpreting my words through a lens of critique. I am achingly familiar with the stance of devil’s advocate, a role filled enthusiastically by many White men. Furthermore, I am a 27-year-old White women and have spent my entire life benefiting from a system that was built for members of my race. I’ve preached that I stand for Black lives, indigenous lives, immigrant lives, and so on, all while continuously holding the power of my Whiteness in my hands. Although I have always held privilege as a White woman, I have never been included in our world’s most powerful demographic: the White-passing male.

Yet, in 2020, something changed. This is the year where, although we were powerless in many ways, we passed the power to those who deserved to hold it. This is the year where White people showed up with their bodies but let others do the talking. This is the year where we cheered on our postal workers and our home healthcare providers and our undocumented farm workers. This is the year we elected a breaking number of women and LGBTQ+ identifying individuals. This is the year we elected our first female, biracial vice president. This is the year that, for the first time in U.S. history, we took the microphone away from the White male majority and replaced it with a mirror, asking White men to do one simple thing: reflect.

It is clear that this request was not a simple one. To ask White men to step back and self-analyze is the equivalent to putting a feast in front of someone and instructing them to think about it instead of eating it. To ask White men to relinquish their hold on power is not simple because, for the White man, power is available for the taking. Members of all other demographic groups live in a society where, although power is visible, we are never able to fully grasp it.

The shift of power that occurred in 2020 left many White men feeling vulnerable, as if the world had taken a leg from them and they no longer knew how to walk. It is through this lens that the rage K displayed begins to make sense. A critique from a friend requires self-reflection, a step back, and loosening one’s grip on power. Loosening one’s grip on power requires vulnerability. Vulnerability incites vast emotions among those who do not typically feel vulnerable in a broad, societal context, particularly among men who were taught that emotions or surrendering power is unacceptable.

I must admit that I was nothing short of angry after this initial conversation with K. How could someone take one single statement and transform it into an attack on their character? Why was it so hard for him to discuss my comment with me? Why didn’t he want to know why I implied that he was showing privilege? These are all questions that crossed my mind in the bitter days following this exchange. Although I’m unsure of whether I have ascertained a complete answer, I have come to the abstract conclusion that the anger I have observed from K and White men across the United States this year is not a result of the words spoken to them. Rather, this rage has emerged from society’s muffling of White male voices and amplification of others who, simply put, can no longer be silenced.