The Millionaire Writer
By: Matthew Donnellon
Tags: Business, Writing, Finance, Fiction, Short Story

Three of the most prominent fantasy authors were sitting in a cafe in a small town in the Midwest.

They met here once a year, every year.

Back in the day they all happened to meet a small convention near the town. They kept coming back even as their schedules got busier and busier. They all had huge series. One of them had a popular show based on his books. The others didn’t have shows but their books were perennial best sellers, and Hollywood was always sniffing around their work.

The three of them sat there. One was older than the rest, his hair more white than grey. Another sat there, stouter than the others with wild grey hair and a even wilder beard. The third man was younger than the others with long brown hair.

They were different, but they all had one thing in common.

Each of them had a book the world was waiting for. It had been years since any of them had released any books. The publishing world called them The Trifecta of Slow Writers.

“They just don’t get it do they?” the oldest one said.

“What’s that?” the bearded one said.

“They just don’t understand. They all want the book but none of them understand the pressure. I’ve been writing for sixty years. You’d think if I could just make a book appear out of nowhere I would do it. This is my magnum opus. I won’t release it until it’s perfect.”

“I know. I’ve writing this damn book for six years. It’s the last one. It’s the one everyone is going to remember. If I flub this then I’ll never be able to live it down.”

“They’ll just never get it. I spent twenty years perfecting the first book before it finally got published,” the long haired man said, “You’d think that I could even write another one in my lifetime. Everyone wants a book a year and I just can’t do it.”

“If I did a book a year my fans would have a heart attack,” the old man said.

“How about that one guy at the panel today?” the bearded one asked.

“The one that said we should be ashamed?” the long haired man said, “The one that said that with the money we make that we should be cranking out books left and right.”

“I think he even said that,” the bearded one said, “he said if we were making the amount of money we were then he would would put out a book that would dwarf ours’.”

They all laughed.

But then the old man was silent.

“What if we took him up on his bet?” the old man asked.

“What do you mean?” the bearded one asked.

“We put up the money and tell him he gets one year. If it’s really all about the money he should be able to crank out a book. But if he doesn’t…”

“That will get everyone off our backs because people will see how hard it really is…” the long haired man said.

And so the plan was hatched.

They found the man who challenged them. It wasn’t hard he was still at the convention.

“Are you guys serious?” the new guy said, “How much?”

“A million dollars,” the bearded man said, “the three of us are putting up the money.”

“And you are getting my agent and my publisher, so there will be no excuse,” the old man said.

The new guy laughed, “Deal.”

And so nearly a year later each of them noticed something online. A new book was setting the publishing world on fire.

The old man saw the same man he gave the money to on television. He called the others and they were able to arrange a meeting with the new guy. Actually, he asked them to come to his book signing.

It wasn’t hard to find. The bookstore was large, but the line was going out through the door.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” the old man said.

“Why are all these people here?” the long haired man said.

“They’re here to see him,” the bearded man said and pointed to the poster showing the writer with whom they made the bet.

He was at the front of a crowded store, smiling and shaking people’s hands. When he saw the trio of writers he excused himself to meet with them.

“How did this happen?” the old man asked, “How did you write a book to get this kind of response?”

“It was simple. You haven’t looked at the book yet have you?”

The three of them shook their heads.

He handed them a copy, “I wrote a memoir about tricking the three biggest writers into paying me to write a book.”