How Being a Highly Sensitive Person Improves Relationships
By: Mari Moore
Tags: Empathy, Relationships, Love, Hsp, Sensitivity

How Being a Highly Sensitive Person Improves Relationships

It’s time for a new perspective on Highly Sensitive People

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

I’ve always known I was a highly sensitive person, but there were so many idiosyncrasies in my personality-type that were difficult for me to understand. I failed to connect how my compassionate personality affected how I interact with my world. If you research signs of a Highly Sensitive Person, you might see traits like “overreacts,” “can’t take criticism,” “anxious,” and “trouble letting go.” I’ve been called a lot of these words before, and maybe at times, they have been true. People usually perceive these traits as negative. I want to challenge a different perspective, one in which being “sensitive” isn’t bad.

The term Highly Sensitive Person was first developed by Psychologist Elaine Aron in 1991 when she began her research on Highly Sensitive People. The scientific term for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait is called Sensory Processing Sensitivity or SPS. There has been evidence to suggest that the trait occurs in approximately 15–20% of the population. Being Highly Sensitive is not classified as a disorder, and it is often highly misunderstood or perceived negatively. Despite the negative perceptions, there are numerous relational benefits to being an HSP.

A Deep Inner-World

Highly sensitive people aren’t going to hit you with bullshit in a relationship. They aren’t just going to say what you want to hear; they will give you the truth. They overthink a lot, but because they have a deep inner world where they process many emotions. They are aware of their emotions and can communicate them effectively to a partner. Psychologist Elaine Aron’s research about HSP’s in love shows that HSP’s tend to reflect more on positive experiences than non-highly sensitive people. I’m a “wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve” kind of person, and my partner likes that about me. You never have to guess what I’m thinking or feeling.

Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Empathy

Highly Sensitive People have been shown through research to demonstrate more empathy. Empathy, or the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, is an asset in relationships. It allows Highly Sensitive People to have an increased understanding of the inner world of other people. This can greatly reduce the frustration of feeling “misunderstood” in relationships. It can be annoying when other people don’t “get it.” Highly Sensitive People try their best to “get it.”

Creativity

Dr. Aron’s studies suggest that there may be a link between HSP’s and creativity due to the higher depth of processing; however, creativity is difficult to define. It’s no surprise that musicians, artists, writers, and other creative types use emotional appeal to reach a wider audience. HSP’s are deeply moved by creative pursuits like art and music and find beauty in nature. They pick up on subtleties in the environment that non-HSP’s might not.

While sometimes, traits of HSP’s are viewed negatively, there are relational benefits to being an HSP. Having many feelings isn’t necessarily “bad,” it just means your way of interacting with the world is different from how other people interact with the world. I love hard and with everything I’ve got, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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