Let your goals be your guide
By: John Cunningham
Tags: Vulnerability, Personal Development, Achievement, Success, Dreams

Tips for creating stronger systems to achieve success

I am the right end of the second row

When I was 26 years old, I began pursuing the dream of being a black belt in martial arts. After attending my demo lesson and receiving feedback from my instructor that it would take at least four years to achieve this goal, I went home and started a countdown on my calendar of the 1,500 days to black belt.

There were days, sometimes weeks, when I did not want to practice or go to the dojang. I had injuries that kept me from attending classes, yet I never gave up. When I couldn’t take part in class, I assisted in lower belt-level lessons. When my friends were having pizza and beer, watching American football, I practiced my katas, or forms.

Short of finishing my bachelor’s degree, which took eight years, working to achieve a black belt was the most challenging thing I had ever done. Near the start of my 6-month preparation for the black belt test, I quit my job. I had already missed the maximum number of days, 3, after only one third of the program. I knew continuing to balance these two demanding responsibilities would end in failure. In the end, I passed my test and became a black belt.

I don’t practice martial arts now, but the lessons I learned about dedication, teamwork and determination still guide me to this day. Somehow, I feel that if I hadn’t earned my black belt, I would have been scarred for life.

This feeling comes from the fact that I often came up short in achieving goals and had a tendency to give up on projects before they crossed the finish line.

Achieving goals will challenge you to dig deep and find a version of yourself that is inspiring, uncompromising and full of vigor. The way to awaken that person inside you is to set goals and attain them.

Analysis paralysis

You may be skilled at setting goals and laying out plans. Perhaps, you are skilled at understanding how to achieve the ambitions your mind perceives, but slow to take action. Maybe you are waiting for the right conditions to get started. Or you are quick to discover roadblocks that will make your journey difficult, if not impossible. If you are a chronic slow starter, there is no better time to set sail on your course than now.

Shoot for the moon, and if you miss you will still be among the stars. Les Brown

Stretch goals

When you consider what is possible, set your goals double, triple or quadruple your intended target. Creating goals well above your reach will help you to achieve more than you thought possible.

Expect to fail along the way and to fall short of your expectations. That is normal. When you fall, get up, dust yourself off and continue on, knowing that what you just tried doesn’t work. There are many ways to achieve success. Experimentation is the surest way to find the course that is right for you.

I haven’t failed, I’ve just found 10,000 that won’t work. Thomas Edison, on his efforts to discover the lightbulb

Small Steps

While your goals may be high, the steps should be small. By moving towards the prize in small, incremental steps you can mark your achievement and feel a sense of accomplishment. This is the purpose of the belt system in martial arts.

I practiced Tae Kwon Do. In that system, there are no less than 10 promotions between white and black belt. Those incremental achievements motivate students to continue the journey. Likewise, you need to have some milestones worth celebrating.

Your path may diverge at one of those milestones as the journey to your destination changes and enters into uncharted territory. This is all part of the experience. You may need to add a new skill, or the path to your dreams sends you in a different direction from what you initially envisioned. Achieving milestones provides you a resting place to re-evaluate and re-tool for the next leg of your journey.

What’s Your Why

The best way to ensure your success is to have a strong motivation for achieving your goals. Consider why you want to do what you are set on. My why was to achieve more mental and emotional control of my life and an increased sense of wisdom. Those objectives presented themselves in the times I struggled. They were visible when I handled conflict in other situations and as I focused on providing more value in interactions with others.They still serve me today.

Your whys will be deeply personal. They will drive your decision-making process. They will keep you focused when you want to quit, and become the secret powers that drive you to achieve more than you thought was possible. But they need to be strong.

If you feel that it is easy to get diverted, your why are not strong enough. It is time to reexamine them and reevaluate your goals. If your whys are not inspiring you, it is common to want to give up at the first sign of adversity. For example, getting a college degree or a high-profile job because that is what your parents want. Or wanting a job with a big salary, so you can show off your status. These whys may leave you feeling resentful rather than excitedly challenged when times get tough.

You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals. George S. Patton

Road Blocks

There will be barriers to your achievement. Temptation is standing by, waiting for you to join him down the path of unrealized potential. Don’t go! There will be time for pizza and beer when you have reached your goal. When you are on the path to growth, it’s easy to backslide. When things are not going as you had anticipated, it is not uncommon to develop a case of stinking thinking. During these times, you need to step back and refocus your efforts, doubling down on your success. You can succeed, one step at a time.

Achievement comes with hard work, dedication and sacrifice.

Your Rules

One way to ensure that the distractions and barriers don’t prevent you from your achievements is to create a list of rules and principles that guide your thought process and decision making.

These rules will serve as a way for you to check that you are making progress and living with integrity to yourself. Some of my rules are: Always give my best effort, choose projects that help me to grow, and not to worry about the past but learn from it. With these rules, it becomes easier to make decisions about what steps to take next.

Creating a set of rules takes time and really requires you to consider your expectations. You also need to set clear boundaries to ensure that you do not get taken advantage of. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Create and revise your rules to develop into the best version of yourself. Live by them to strengthen your character.

When things feel like they are spinning out of control

There will be times that it appears you are on a collision course with failure. Don’t worry. It is in these times that you develop resilience. You can quickly make some steps back up the mountain by repeating your past successes and learning from your previous failures. It’s not always smooth sailing. You will learn the most during those stormy times. So, hold tight and get ready to grow.

Achieving goals is about perseverance.

You may think the skills you have or the achievements you have made are easy, and anyone could do that. This is simply not true. Achievement comes with hard work, dedication and sacrifice. You have to be willing to do the things others won’t to achieve the things others don’t.

Take pride in your accomplishments, enjoy a feeling of pride when you are able to do something that you previously thought was impossible. Feel a sense of joy that you have moved one step closer, and be diligent that you will continue until you achieve what you have set out to accomplish. Plan and act now, but keep your focus clearly on the future.

Summary

Success does not come cheaply. You need to let the people and things that are holding you back go, so you can make space for insightful relationships and new experiences. Sure, it’s scary and unknown, that is what makes it exciting.

The road to success will take you through dark places where you do not know what to expect and you will feel vulernable. When adversity strikes, as it always will, you may find yourself more inclined to retreat than go forward. Don’t. Meeting these challenges head-on will make you better, no matter the result.

No one ever got better by winning all the time. To grow, you need to fail, learn, try again, and repeat, continuing this cycle until you find yourself winning, situation by situation. Appreciate those little victories. They are hard fought.

When you finally achieve your goal, and you have reached the mountain top, don’t forget to savor it. Marvel at what you have achieved and celebrate. Celebrate the victory. Enjoy your accomplishment. Then get ready to take the next challenge, which means starting all over again.