Is Some Stress Necessary, or Is it All Destructive
By: Michael Mints
Tags: Stress, Success, Motivation, Anxiety, Fear

Is Some Stress Necessary, or Is it All Destructive

Breaking Free from Stress

Photo by Aliyah Jamous on Unsplash

Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.–Andrew J. Bernstein

Regardless of how you live, you’re bound to experience stress occasionally. Whether you’re always in the fast lane at work, juggling hectic family demands, or striving to navigate the choppy waters of relationships, tension and stress are a natural byproduct of life.

You probably can identify when stress is creeping up on you. But, if you’re like most of us, you just keep plugging away, working hard, and trying to get everything done.

What if you actively took steps to manage your stress? Could your life be different? Would you feel better?

Fortunately, there are some easy ideas you can implement to get a handle on your stress. I want to help you understand what stress is and why it is necessary to help you get through the day.

Also, I want to help you learn how you react when you’re under stress and identify the signs and stress symptoms.

We’ll review destructive ways you might be used to managing stress, so you’ll be more aware of those behaviors.

Finally, we’ll open up a toolbox of effective stress management skills that will help you in eliminating tension as soon as it begins.

What is Stress?

You’ve probably heard the term “stress” used in several different contexts. Stress is defined as the mental or emotional strain you experience due to any tension or anxiety-causing situation. Sometimes even self-induced.

The word “stress” is also used to describe challenges that bring about feelings of anxiety, tension, or worry. It can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous.

Stress is your body’s reaction to a challenge or demand. In short bursts, stress can be positive, such as when it helps you avoid danger or meet a deadline.

The following elements are also often included in definitions of stress:

Fight or flight response. There are biological and physical roots attributed to the development of stress in your mind and body. On a physical level, humans behave much like animals. Most animals respond to perceived threats in one of two ways: they either run or fight.

This is known as the “fight or flight” response. This biological reaction is not usually in our control. The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to any perceived event as stressful or frightening.

The perception of a threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. Our bodies release hormones that cause us to either fight what’s happening or flee from it.

Perceived loss of control. One crucial element of stress is that you don’t have control over events or circumstances. If you’re involved in situations where you feel helpless or waiting for someone else to take care of whatever’s happening, you’re likely experiencing anxiety or tension.

These situations are often when stress hits the hardest because you have no control over the situation. Your mind and body remain in a constant state of tension and frustration.

Change. One of the most integral aspects of stress is change. Many people experience tension or worry whenever a change occurs in their lives. Even though a change or shift in some part of your life might actually be good, you may still experience feelings of anxiety.

Is There Such a Thing as Positive Stress?

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it. — — John Newton

A certain amount of stress in life is purposeful. There will be beneficial tension in your life every day. Positive stress compels you to move ahead and do what you need to do now.

Examples of positive personal stressors include things like:

Receiving a promotion

Starting a new job

Marriage

Buying a home

Having a baby

Moving

Taking a vacation

Holiday season

Retiring

Taking educational courses

So obviously, positive stress is a part of our everyday life. We need it to provide momentum to accomplish our goals throughout each day.

What Does Stress Look Like?

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.–Natalie Goldberg

Although stress is a universal feeling, your stress might appear quite different from someone else’s. How you react to your emotions and stress is unique to you.

You may even be unaware of your individual “fingerprint” of tension or worry building up inside of you. To give you an idea of what you’re looking for, here are some common symptoms of untreated stress:

Recurring physical ailments. You might notice that you’re starting to get nagging headaches, or maybe you occasionally deal with stomachaches that occur whenever you’re feeling tense and anxious about something.

The feeling of being rushed. You feel like you’re always in a hurry. There isn’t enough time in the day for you to accomplish everything that must be done. You find yourself rushing around trying to get from one place to another.

I can’t take a break. If you notice you’re finishing one task only to proceed directly to the next one and then the one after that, you’re probably feeling stressed out. It’s important here to realize that your thoughts and thinking are leading you to believe you don't have time to stop and rest.

Recurrent symptoms of chronic illnesses. When we’re habitually stressed out, chronic medical conditions (diabetes, chemical dependency, Crohn’s Disease, or obesity, for example) progressively get worse. Symptoms of rage start to appear as our physical bodies manifest the challenges of our demanding emotional and stressful experiences.

Overwhelming fatigue. Tiredness may overshadow your days; you can’t sleep. You feel as though you’re pulling a dead weight everywhere you go. You’re not sure how you’re making it through each day because you’re exhausted and feel there’s no relief in sight.

Negative emotional states. Even your moods can be affected when stress comes for a visit. This manifests itself in many different forms. Maybe you’re cranky, or perhaps sullen, even angry at times.

Consult with friends and family if you’re unsure what’s baseline normal for you. They can often give you a more objective picture of whether your emotional reactions have been extreme lately.

Episodes of crying. Do you feel like crying all the time? Or are you crying more than usual? Do you feel like you’re struggling to get your emotions under control? If so, take a look at your stress level.

Stormy work relationships. At work, you notice your co-workers are tactfully avoiding you. Your boss seems to be increasingly irritating. While some of us naturally have challenges interacting with others, many of us only do when we feel stress.

Grouchy toward your kids. At home, your children quietly put their heads down and walk by you. Secretly, you don’t blame them because lately you’ve been noticing and pointing out every little mistake they make. Or maybe you’ve been more reactive; when they make a mistake, your verbal and emotional response is stronger than normal.

Your spouse confronts you. Maybe your wife has already asked you what’s going on or what’s wrong. Maybe she’s walking on eggshells around you, afraid of your emotional response.

Attitude changes. Your attitude hasn’t been the greatest lately. You assume things are going to go badly. You feel yourself slowly starting to give up. You’re starting to not care anymore about your relationships, job, or family situation.

Feelings of futility. You feel that you just can’t get anything done, no matter what you do. You now know what those hamsters in the little wheels going round and round feel like. That’s how you feel when you’re under stress: going nowhere, fast.

Stress manifests itself in our lives in very different ways, depending on the person experiencing it. Examine the above list again carefully, and see what you notice about yourself when you’re under pressure. Which signs are you showing?

Be honest with yourself and take note of how your stress is manifesting itself in your life. The more awareness you have about your unique expression of stress, the better your ability to manage it effectively.

Causes of Stress

There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That’s what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, down my sleeves, and onto my pad.–Garson Kanin

Interestingly, all kinds of things can cause stress. Situations, people, and events you dislike can trigger these emotions.

Being constantly in a time crunch, involved in a stormy relationship, experiencing a divorce, leaving a job, or moving might create anxiety, worry, and stress.

Tension, anxiety, and worry are often the result of a change, especially when you feel little control over the situation.

There are some events and circumstances viewed as positive that are also stressful? Purchasing your first home, getting married, or bringing a baby into the world, although positive experiences, still induce tension.

So when assessing all of the sources of your stress, remember to count the enjoyable or planned changes in your life as well.

Unhealthy Ways you Might be Managing Stress

“Frustration, discouragement, and depression mean you are working against yourself.” — Jagadish Vasudev Sadhguru

First, the bad news: It’s possible that your approach to dealing with your stress isn’t helping you. Here are some signs of dealing poorly with stress.

Overuse of substances. Many people cling to their substance of choice when stress moves in. So don’t be surprised if you’re smoking more cigarettes than usual, drinking more alcohol than you should, or taking those over-the-counter sleeping pills every single night. Spend a few minutes to reflect on ways you might be mishandling your stress. Vow to stop your use of unhealthy substances when you’re stressed out — get help to do so if necessary.

Bad eating habits. You might be eating a lot of fast food because your schedule feels overcrowded. Or perhaps you’re skipping meals here and there and getting a little light-headed sometimes from lack of food.

Stress can either cause you to forget to eat (you’re too busy) or not want to eat (you’re too tense). Take a long hard look at your nutritional intake habits to ensure you’re eating as healthy as possible.

Inappropriate remarks and communication. Perhaps you’re short with others and use cryptic or sarcastic comments to express yourself. Or, your stress response may involve closing people out emotionally and giving them the silent treatment.

Tune into your verbal communications to ensure you’re expressing yourself appropriately. Remember that when you’re under pressure, you could be engaging in habits and behaviors that serve to stoke the fires of stress rather than put them out!

Effective Methods of Stress Management

Now the good news. You have abundant choices for learning how to manage your stress effectively.

Try these strategies:

Make time for physical activity. It’s vital to have regular exercise in your life. Not only does physical activity do great things for your body, but it also works magic on your soul. Exercising regularly is a great all-around stress reliever.

Prayer and meditation. In the crazy world in which we live, it’s essential to find time alone in solitude. As your world increases in stress and anxiety, your ability to withdraw to a quiet, peaceful place becomes even more critical.

Research has confirmed the importance and life-giving benefits of setting aside time daily to meditate and pray. It has the power to instill a deep sense of calm and peace, thus illuminating most stress.

Schedule downtime. Everyone just needs to chill every once in a while. Plan some time every week to let your hair down and do what relaxes you most. Read a book, or see a movie. Take time to enjoy the things you love to do.

Put down the technology. If you find yourself on the computer or playing with all the apps on your smartphone or tablet all evening, take some time to engage in life without all the electronics. Your stress levels might be a result of too much input via the internet. Work on turning them off at least an hour or two before bedtime.

Focus on your health. If you have a chronic health condition like asthma, allergies, over-eating, or diabetes, you’ll want to do everything you can to manage it successfully. To keep your stress level minimized, keep your conditions under control.

Practice healthy eating to stay strong and vital. Look around you. You’ll see that your friends who take good care of themselves nutritionally are often dealing with their jobs, loved ones, and selves in healthy ways as well. Because they eat right, they have the energy to deal with life’s ups and downs and the confidence in themselves that they’ll always be okay.

Reduce caffeine consumption. If you require a couple of cups of coffee to get going every day, your caffeine intake will very likely contribute to your level of stress. Although this commonly-used drug is considered relatively harmless in small doses, it does contribute to tension and anxiety.

Get your rest. You know what NOT getting enough sleep feels like. The day seems to drag by, and you feel a bit punchy. Concentration can be challenging. To deal with ongoing stress, get good sleep, six to seven hours a night.

Practice a healthy nighttime routine. Bedtime rituals are great stress-busters. Ensure that you have a night-time routine that works for you and follow it.

Give your schedule a long, hard look. What can you get rid of? To reduce your feelings of tension, worry, and anxiety, trim down the tasks and errands you have to do, especially towards the end of the day.

Prioritize. One of the best ways to handle stress is to have a good grasp of your daily tasks. Which responsibilities need to be done right away? Create a daily priority list of the 3 most important things that need to occur that day, and focus on those things.

Communicate. Discussing whatever is troubling, you help to dissipate challenging feelings. Give your best friend a call and pour out your heart to her. Get in touch with a friend or brother and tell him what’s bugging you. Get those emotions out of your head and onto the table, where you can look at them objectively.

Just say, “NO.” An often-overlooked but effective method of managing stress is declining to take on more tasks or do more favors for people. Exercise your right to choose how you’ll spend your time by starting to say “no” more often. The more you say “no,” the easier it will become.

Ask for help. One of the best ways to successfully manage your stress is to take steps to obtain assistance actively. So, not only should you communicate your feelings but also speak up and ask for help.

Write down your feelings. Journaling is a wonderful and effective way to learn to understand, articulate and therapeutically deal with your feelings. Take a few moments every evening to write down what happened that day and how you feel about it. It works wonders.

Seek professional assistance. Although you might tend to avoid calling counselors until you’ve exhausted all of your other options, consider doing so before you’re totally buried under stress.

I find it works wonders just to sit and talk with someone who’s only concern is your welfare. Their only job is to help you feel and live more productively.

You have a lot of choices when learning to manage your stress successfully. Try some of the approaches above as soon as you feel those feelings of tension and worry coming on.

Conclusion

Understanding what stress is and that a certain amount of stress is purposeful is your first real step to recognizing the impact of stress in your life.

Knowing some of the main causes and being aware of how your stress expresses itself will help you avoid dealing with it in unhealthy ways.

Identify the best methods to manage your tension, anxiety, and worry successfully. Do what works best for you.

Use the skills and techniques listed above to relieve the pressure and stress in your life successfully. Break free from stress; you’re worth it!