A Candid Gen X Conversation About Anxiety and Resilience Through Uncertain Times
By: Adrion Porter
Tags: Anxiety, Midlife, Pandemic, Covid 19, Resilience

As we begin to close out the year, the one thing we all can agree on, is this has been a very hectic and challenging nine months.

2020 came, saw, and conquered like no other year in recent times.

One of the common feelings many of us, are experiencing during these times, is a heighten sense of anxiety.

The combination of a global pandemic, social and racial unrest, and the presidential election is a lot for anyone to handle.

Now while all ages and generations have definitely been affected by this crisis, there is an interesting and unique dynamic that is experienced by the so-called “sandwich generation”, such as Gen X .

And yes… I’m talkin’ ‘bout my generation.

Generation X (Gen X for short) includes people primarily now in our 40s and early 50s. And many of us are in that mid-career stage of life when the feeling of malaise has taking over the driver’s seat.

And now we’re in a pandemic? Go figure.

So to help me unpack and explore this further, I invited two of my friends and fellow 40-somethings: Tara Jaye Frank and Lindsey Pollak to come back on the Gen X Amplified Podcast (both were previous guests on separate episodes).

I wanted them to join me for a deeper conversation about their own personal experiences as midlife Gen Xers, and how they are dealing with this unprecedented pandemic, while also trying to navigate the emotional toll that comes with it.

“Goddess on the mountain top. Burning like a silver flame.”- From “Venus” by Bananarama (1986)

A passionate voice for building bridges, Tara Jaye Frank has definitely felt like a wonder woman on high — leveraging her platform to inspire and accelerate culture change in a world of dysfunction.

Yet, because of the stress and strain from this pandemic, there have been many times when Tara’s flame seemed to be burning the candle at both ends — both mentally and physically.

Professionally, Tara is a speaker, consultant, podcaster, and the founder of MORE THAN: A Movement, which is a healing movement toward deeper understanding between disconnected people.

But personally (and more importantly), Tara is a wife, a mother to six children, and a child of aging parents. Tara’s current family experiences and career responsibilities is so quintessential Gen X.

Juggling the multiple dynamics of caring for elderly parents and raising her Gen Z teenagers… all while navigating her career growth.

And again… this is amid of a pandemic.

“Some of us honestly, are just trying to find our moment, or our space of sanity… and of peace.”

Now at the beginning of the lockdown, Tara admits that she thought this was probably a great opportunity for her to take some time and become more productive.

She even used her platform to share positive memes, advice, and any inspirational content to her community that would add value and motivate her audience during quarantine.

However, those productive days then turned into stressful weeks.

And Tara was no longer feeling that positive sense of independent liberation from her busy and socially attached world that she was used to.

Instead, Tara was starting to travel down a slope of emotional and spiritual distress.

For her… it got real.

Tara no longer embraced the image of productive superwoman that she felt she needed to be. She was just trying to find her way.

“Some of us honestly, are just trying to find our moment, or our space of sanity… and of peace,” Tara mentioned.

She also stated that she has suffered from anxiety since she was six years old. And it’s moments like these, such as going through a global pandemic, while caring for the concerns of both her parents and kids… that only amplifies that feeling of apprehension.

“It’s a lot,” said Tara.

“And you may ask yourself, Well… how did I get here?” — From “Once in a Lifetime” by Talking Heads (1981)

Yes. This year has been without a doubt, a once in a lifetime experience.

And definitely not the same as it ever was.

Lindsey Pollak is a multigenerational workplace expert, keynote speaker, and a New York Times bestselling author, whose upcoming book, Recalculating: Navigate Your Career Through the Changing World of Work, will be hitting the shelves in early 2021.

Like Tara, Lindsey is also experiencing that all too common pressures of simultaneous family care, while in a period of lockdown.

“I think that sandwich generation feel of Gen X… hits harder at a time like this.”

Now for Lindsey, she happens to be navigating this unprecedented time while residing in New York City — which for awhile was considered to be the epicenter of the pandemic, because of the city’s dense population and the high number of confirmed cases as a result.

Lindsey, along with her husband, is also homeschooling their wonderful 8-year-old daughter, which she says is very challenging during this time. Even with only one child.

“I don’t know how anyone has more than one child (being homeschooled),” said Lindsey. “Because it’s hard enough with one child to do that.”

And for Lindsey, the additional fears about aging parents, combined with fears of managing a two-career family, takes on a toll that for anyone is truly a lot. Especially for Gen X women who are squeezed in the middle of a multigenerational family structure.

“I think that sandwich generation feel of Gen X… hits harder at a time like this,” she said.

Lindsey mentioned that she also suffers from anxiety from a young age. And dealing with the current pandemic has created this perfect storm of anxiety, fear, health concerns, along with an elevated level of uncertainty.

And as Lindsey mentioned, it is the uncertainty of when things will actually get back to normal that fuels the angst and fear.

“When you really are confronted with being a parent, being child, being a friend, being a spouse, being a business owner, being a two-career couple, living in the city…it’s a lot,” said Lindsey.

“After winter, must come spring. Change, it comes eventually.” — “Everything is Everything” by Lauryn Hill (1998)

For the most part, Gen Xers have always been a very resilient cohort in times of crisis. Especially during our formative years.

Whether it was the Challenger explosion, the AIDS epidemic, or other watershed moments… we’ve kinda been here before. Right?

Yet what’s unique about Gen X during this particular stage of life, is that we are now parents, professionals, leaders, life partners, spouses, caretakers, etc.

This is a totally different ballgame.

However, as both Tara and Lindsey mentioned during our chat, the key to get through these times is having a strong sense of community. And that really applies to not only Gen X — but all ages and generations.

This pandemic is a shared experience by everyone, and the social and emotional effects of COVID-19 have no bias. And it is our collective experiences and humanity that should be the guiding force along this journey.

For example, the usage of virtual platforms has significantly increased since the beginning of the pandemic. And this actually allows for greater opportunities for us to regroup, reach out, and recalibrate our attention to adding value and helping others.

“Keeping busy has been very helpful to me,” said Lindsey. “So opportunities like this are very valued.”

And, taking advantage of these virtual and social tools in a sense, may also help us gain some semblance of normalcy at this time.

“Today I feel great. You gave me a reason to do my hair, put some makeup on, and even wear a blazer…which I haven’t done in God knows how long,” said Tara.

Now we can at least take solace in knowing that brighter days are indeed ahead of us. Especially with the recent authorizations of a few COVID-19 vaccines.

And as my Grandmother always used to say… “And this too shall pass”.

But let’s continue to rely on the power of community, collaboration, and valuable content to help us mitigate our level of stress, so we can remain resilient during this season.

And if all else fails…maybe we can take a cue from Tara and Lindsey, and indulge in some quarantine guilty pleasures such as Peanut M&M’s and dark chocolate to help get us through!

Question… How have you personally been handling any feelings of anxiety, and/or maintaining your resilience through these times? Please feel free to share in the comments below!

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Adrion Porter is a speaker, brand strategist, workplace advisor, podcaster, and the CEO/Founder of AP & Company, a leadership and professional development company. Adrion regularly speaks to leaders and organizations about his signature 5-point model: The Powerful BRAND Framework™, and teaches them how to build powerful and purpose-driven brands that create massive value and meaningful impact — especially for today’s new world of work. Adrion is also the podcast host of Gen X Amplified, and the host of The Powerful Brand Podcast (launching January 2021). Feel free to reach out to Adrion on LinkedIn and/or connect with him at: adrionporter.com.