How Was ‘Normal People’ Able to Capture the Defects of Our Generation?
By: Omar Gahbiche
Tags: Life Lessons, TV Series, Review, Personal Growth, Movies

Connell and Marianne, different tempers, similar outcomes

Nada: « Men seem more concerned in limiting the freedom of women than exercising their own » Yes Marianne, louder for the people in the back, please! Marianne has always been very vocal about feminism matters. She’s witty, has no filter, true to herself, and above all exudes confidence. In fact, she was the one to make the first move on Connell, declaring bluntly that she likes him, much to his shock and disbelief. Quick detour here, can we please normalize this? If you like someone just tell them if they like you back, great! If not you move on. Either way, you win! Because you get an answer! Let’s be more like Marianne! Honest, direct.

From an outsider’s point of view, Marianne seems the perfect example of a straight A’s student, privileged yet humble, smart, and self-assured. Slowly, throughout her interactions with Connell, we begin to get glimpses of a young woman eager to please her partner, no matter what, often offering to be willing to do whatever it takes to make Connell happy. He was always taken aback by her willingness to give herself entirely to him by doing whatever he desires, often telling her that she needs to think of herself first and foremost and only do things she feels at ease with.

What an outsider fails to see is that Marianne comes from an abusive background, a father who was violent with her mother, the latter neglected and despised her, and at some point a brother that physically abused her. Moreover, at school, Marianne is no stranger to bullying her classmates frequently mocking her. Marianne developed a tendency to undervalue herself, hiding it well in front of strangers with witty remarks and sharp opinions, but failing to do so with her partners including Connell. She, point-blank, declares at some point that she feels unappealing and unloved, a heartbreaking revelation to both Connell and the viewer. “I like doing things for you,” she reveals to an uncomfortable Connell.

For years, no matter her efforts to be the perfect daughter and sister, the model student, it was never enough for her family nor her classmates. This was her time to finally get that validation that she so desperately needs from a partner. Her aim is to please. Over the years, she accepts and demands submission from her partners. From a female perspective, it was gut-wrenching watching Daisy Edgar-Jones’ portrayal of a vulnerable Marianne, unclothed and naked, both literally and figuratively.

I think a lot of women can relate to her desire to feed the male’s ego in the hopes of winning his approval and thus getting his validation. We, sometimes, find ourselves suppressing our qualities, undervaluing our worth, in order to make them feel, more important, valued, worthy. In retrospect, we feel validated in return.

Women haven’t recently started to find their voice, they always had a voice, they just needed to feel empowered to use it (Thanks Meghan Markle for the reference!). In the end, — Spoilers Ahead — Marianne, with the help of Connell, finally found the strength to recognize her own worth. She felt empowered to stick up for what she wants. « I want to stay here, I want to live the life I’m living» says while encouraging Connell to leave. This is the first time we see her wanting something FOR HERSELF and only herself. This is the first time she’s not desperate to get anybody’s approval nor validation. She is worthy of love. And SHE KNOWS IT!

Omar: On the other hand, Normal People put also a spotlight on men’s mental health, which is a matter that seems to be overlooked in today’s society, where the focus is mainly on women’s mental health. It was captured brilliantly through the dramatic descent into hell undergone by Connell who lost all of his landmarks, one after one.

Society pictures males as mentally strong individuals and pressures them to affirm their masculinity through some characteristics that it identifies as masculine such as being strong, providers, emotionless, and so on. This adds another layer of difficulty when it comes to dealing with mental illnesses for males.

Connell comes from a very different background than Marianne. As ideal as it looks, it hurt him in different ways. It affected his behavior towards her. But it also affected him personally as soon as he got away from his comfort zone and was left to himself.

After failing to adapt to his new life in Dublin, being far from home, where he doesn’t feel like he belongs to anymore, being separated from Marianne who moved to Sweden, having to deal with day to day unsatisfying jobs, and losing his friend to suicide, and already drained Connell collapses into anxiety and then into depression.

An episode dedicated to the matter left the whole stage for Paul Mescal’s brilliant performance in picturing a man falling mentally and physically. A breakdown that we are able to see and feel through the screen, sometimes with no dialogues, no context, just through the incredible ability of Paul to communicate the breakdowns of the character.

In the end, we live in an era where, as a generation, we are asked for a lot more than ever before. We are not only expected to succeed but also to excel at what we do. Cities are crowded and places are limited, standing out takes dedication and consistency. We are also pressured to keep an active social life, to meet people’s standards in order not to be left out of the game.

Friends after-works and family weekly gatherings are not enough anymore, we are expected to be ready to answer calls and messages 24/7, or we would be ignoring people. And while keeping up with all of this, we want to keep holding on to our dreams and we want to keep practicing that stimulating activity of ours. Minds and bodies are constantly solicited. If we keep asking too much from them, sometimes they fail to provide a response. So we keep battling, for ourselves, for our dreams, for life.