Hang in There, Quarantine Mama
By: Chelsie Librun
Tags: Motherhood, Quarantine, Baby, Fiction Friday, Perseverance

Hang in There, Quarantine Mama

Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash

I’m still groggy, but I slowly open my eyes. The brightness from the sun lights up the room. I can see every piece of furniture and become grateful for everything I have. The bars around my bed, though, won’t let me get out and explore. I call out, but I don’t think anyone hears me. I call out again. And again. And again. Now I’m getting scared. I feel a sense of panic and tears start to well up. I shout this time through my tears. I stand up and jump up and down as high as I can until I finally hear footsteps coming up the stairs. The door to my bedroom opens and the light turns on.

“Tati, why are you up so early?” my Mommy says. I don’t know what this word “early” means, but nevertheless, I smile when she enters the room. Time to start the day. I raise my arms to get picked up, which she does and kisses me on the cheek. Mommy knows what to do without me having to say anything.

She picks up my baby from the bed. Baby always spends the whole day with me and then sleeps with me at night time. Then she brings me downstairs, sets me on the couch, and covers me with a blanket. I hear her walk to the kitchen, open the fridge, and pour me a bottle. Then, I hear the beeping sounds of a microwave. Mommy walks back to the living room with a bottle of warm milk, my favorite! She turns on my iPad and hands it to me. Today, I want the TV too.

“Paw Patrol!” I exclaim. So Mommy finds the remote and puts the TV on Paw Patrol. This is how I always start off my mornings. I lie here until I feel awake and ready to play. This is the life. Before, I used to go to daycare. When Mommy brought me downstairs I would take a shower and get ready to leave. Then I would go to Ms. Amy’s house for the day. There were other kids and babies and we would play and learn all day. I miss Ms. Amy, but I think I like spending the day with Mommy better.

My mommy goes back into the bedroom. The TV is still playing Paw Patrol, and I hear the sound of a shower coming in the background. That’s probably Daddy. On my iPad, I’m watching a grown up play with puddy and Mickey Mouse toys. Soon, out of the corner of my eye, I see my daddy walk into the living room.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” he says. “I see you like to wake up early.” There’s that word, early, again. I jump from the couch and run to see him. He picks me up and gives me a kiss. But after a while, he puts me down. “Okay, Tatiana, I have to get ready for work.” I don’t care where he has to go; I want to be held. So I start crying. “No, don’t start crying. Don’t do this today. Go back on the couch and watch your iPad.” I reluctantly walk back to the couch.

I hear Mommy and Daddy talking in the bedroom, and eventually Mommy comes outside and joins me on the couch. She sits on the other side and gets under the blanket. Our feet touch under the covers. Sometimes we tickle each other with our feet. She has her own iPad too, but this one is bigger and it has a bunch of buttons at the bottom. It also doesn’t do anything when you touch the screen. It’s very weird.

My daddy comes back and says, “Okay, Tati, I’m leaving now.”

“Bye, Daddy!” I shout before going back to my iPad. He kisses me, then he kisses Mommy, and he walks out the door. Mommy lets out a bunch of sighs as she types on her iPad, and I personally, feel awake enough to start to play.

I got a bunch of new toys recently, along with a table, coloring book, crayons, and a new tent. So, I got to work. I needed to make Baby some breakfast. I sat him down at the table and went to my Minnie Mouse stove to start making some food. I pulled out the pans and plate and shook them on the stove top for a while, just like Mommy does. Then I threw all the plates and pans on the table. Okay, he can eat now. Mommy started looking at me like I was crazy, so I looked at her back. Then she smiled and went back to her iPad. After Baby finished eating, I brought him inside the tent. The tent is my fortress. I had already put my sofa in there. I also filled it with balls and some of my favorite toys. I like to sit in there sometimes and the walls are see through, so I can still see Mommy.

Mommy called Daddy on the phone. I don’t know what they were talking about, but I like to hear Daddy’s voice. Eventually, though, Mommy started yelling. And Daddy was yelling back. I don’t like when they yell. Sometimes I start to yell too, and that makes them stop! So that’s exactly what I did this time. Every time I heard them yell, I yelled. It was actually very fun. Soon, I could see Mommy getting upset.

“Tati, you were quiet all morning! Why are you yelling now? Do you want attention?” She tried to walk to the kitchen, but I just followed her there. No matter how many times she tried to walk away, I was right behind her. Eventually, she gave up and picked me up. She hung up the phone and we walked back to the couch and sat down. “Tatiana, I have to work now,” she said. She turned my iPad back on and gave it back to me.

For what seemed like forever, Mommy was back on the phone with a bunch of people I didn’t know. It’s not like when we called grandma. When that happens, I see her face on the phone. These people didn’t have faces, and they sounded mean. Mommy didn’t look too happy on the phone either.

My iPad was getting boring, and I didn’t want to sit down anymore, so I got up and walked across the couch to Mommy. I wanted to sit on her lap, but her iPad was in the way. I started to push it away. “Tatiana, stop it!” she yelled.

“Sorry everyone, my daughter was looking for some attention. What I was trying to say is that we’ll have to look at the test data again to see if the system is truly meeting the requirements. Does that sound good?” Mommy was back on the phone.

Mommy was starting to get on my nerves, but I decided to give her a little bit more time. After a while, I walked to the wall to pick up my bag of legos. One of my favorite things to do in the world is to dump the whole bag over on the floor. Which I did. I watch all the different colored legos dropped like a sea of rainbows. They scatter when they hit the ground. It’s so pretty and magical.

“Tatiana! How old are you?!” I could tell Mommy was upset. She was giving me the look. I should tread lightly before she puts me in time out.

“Two,” I responded and I held up my fingers like Mommy showed me. Then, I put my head down because I can’t get in trouble if she can’t see me.

“Yes, you’re two. So I need you to act like a big girl and stay quiet. Mommy’s on the phone.”

I stayed quiet for a while. I don’t understand. I love being home with Mommy. Why doesn’t she love being with me? I looked at my Mommy and could tell that she was upset. The phone call ended but her hands were rubbing her head. She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes then went back to her iPad. I think she was angry at the iPad. “Okay, one more call today…”

She picked up the phone again and I heard new voices. They and Mommy were talking back and forth and Mommy was getting more upset. Just then, I knew how to cheer her up. Sometimes when we’re by ourselves Mommy and I like to sing at the top of our lungs.

“Let it go! Let it go!” I began to sing. Mommy walked out of the room so I began to follow her. It was funny. Soon she’ll start singing back.

“That’s it! Tatiana, go to time out!” I stood there in shock. Maybe she didn’t mean it. I put my head down just in case. “You heard me. I said go to time out!” I couldn’t hold it anymore. I felt the cry coming and I just had to let it out.

It wasn’t fair! What did I do? Mommy took my hand and walked me to my time out corner. I was crying and yelling at the top of my lungs. I wish I could talk as fast as Mommy. I wish I could tell her what I wanted to say. But all I could do is cry. I hated Mommy. I hated that she didn’t want to play with me. I hated that she wasn’t fun. I hated that she talked to other people and not me.

Soon I had to pee. But I couldn’t tell Mommy to take me to the potty because I was crying and I couldn’t stop crying. So I pointed at my vagina and I started dancing around. Mommy didn’t see me. She was back on her iPad. I held the pee pee for as long as I could until eventually I couldn’t hold it anymore. Warm pee went running down my leg and onto the floor. Once the pee escaped, I calmed down. “Mommy, potty!”

“You need to use the potty? Okay, let’s go.” No, I pointed at my legs and the floor. Mommy realized what had happened. “Tatiana, you know you’re supposed to pee in the potty, not on the floor.” Uh oh, I was in trouble again. I put my head down so she couldn’t see me. But she wasn’t saying anything.

I looked up and I saw Mommy crying. She sat down on the floor and said “Come here.” Slowly I walked over to her. She pulled me onto her lap. She didn’t care that my pants were full of pee. She held me and kissed my face. “I’m sorry, Tati, I love you. Sometimes it’s just really hard.”

I didn’t know why Mommy was crying. I didn’t think she got hurt. But I love being in her arms. “Mommy, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “Let’s take a shower and go outside.” This is what I love — spending time with Mommy. And I am so thankful for every day that we get to do so.