My Personal Guide to a ‘New year, New me’
Tags: Wisdom, Resolutions, Guidance, New Year, Entrepreneurship

It seems like this new year is being weighed as more important than any other year. Everyone is excited about having a fresh start and the potential to achieve their goals that maybe they didn’t this last decade. So I wanted to make a guide for going into the new year that is easy to follow and share some of the wisdom that I’ve gained from the last decade with you.

Your Mind Is More Powerful Than You Think

I’ve been doing more research on the power of our thoughts and how it can completely change our attitudes — if we’re happy, sad, fearful. There was a study conducted on the frequency of our thoughts, and every time you have a thought it’s like a vibration going out into the universe. What if instead of being pessimistic, you decided that everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to in the end, and you decided to live a joyful life with peace in your heart. Imagine that. You can do it, and you’re more likely to attract positive energy and people who are on the same frequency as you when you change your mindset. Controlling your thoughts requires A LOT of discipline, but if you can master this, then I believe you have the ability to do anything.

Forget About the People Who Have Done You Wrong

This is something I’m still working on and it isn’t an easy process, so I thought I would share two tips with you on how to forget those awkward situations or people that you don’t want to remember anymore. I pretend it never happened, I pretend that we never met. Maybe this is denial to you, but I pretend like it was a bad dream or that the person I want to forget is no longer alive. This may be insanity to you, but it gives me peace of mind. Because I will think of all the things I should’ve said or done differently, but the truth is the outcome still would’ve been the same. It’s easier to cope with death — that someone doesn’t exist anymore, than the idea that someone doesn’t want to be in your life. Block, block, block. Delete, delete, delete. Never happened. Instead of dwelling on the past and what is set in stone, I shift my focus on what I can change right now and on the potential of what could happen in my future. There are so many people that you haven’t met, so many things you haven’t experienced, and you should focus on that instead of small people and things that are no longer present.

“WHY ARE YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE” — Michael Scott

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to comprehend why someone acts the way they do. I’ve tried to justify their actions with concepts like astrology or their upbringing or their socioeconomic class as if I was a sociologist. I heard something recently that resonated with me — can you imagine if people tried to figure out what you’re thinking, how often would they be correct? So why do we try to figure out what’s on someone’s mind? I think my problem is that I always have a reason for everything that I do — it’s almost always methodical and I usually have multiple reasons for doing what I do. I can give myself a self-diagnosis, I don’t need a therapist to tell me why I am the way I am because I know who I am. The problem is that a lot of people have no idea who they are or why they do what they do. Isn’t that unfortunate?

YOU ARE WHAT YOU CONSUME

It wasn’t until recently that I began looking into the different types of food you eat and how it can affect your skin or even your mood. I’m following Erin Oprea’s 4X4 diet and I’ve never restricted what I eat before, but I view it as adopting a new lifestyle and it’s made me more conscientious of what I consume. After all — you are what you eat, what you watch and what you read. This is so true. You are what you consume, so be more aware of what is good for you and feed your body, mind, and soul with more of the good stuff and less junk. But back to the 4X4 diet. You limit your consumption of four things: sugar, starches, sodium, alcohol, and you eat five meals a day while combining weekly Tabata workouts into your routine. She’s the personal trainer for several celebrities and has said that she can tell when her clients aren’t eating properly because they don’t feel good, and they’re not happy (!) I also follow Dr. Mona on YouTube who went to pharmacy school and believes in a holistic approach instead of using medication, and she’s an advocate for a whole food diet. She said that we’ve become immune to feeling terrible and no longer can tell the difference between what it feels like to feel good or bad because of how poor most Americans’ diets are. I recommend following both of these ladies for more advice on diet and exercise since they’re the experts.

In Kathy Bates’ Voice, “Social Media is the Devil”

Sometimes, I want to go completely rogue and delete every trace of me on the internet. I recently decided to take a break from my main Instagram account and it feels so. damn. good. I was talking to Micah, my brother the other night, and he was telling me all about his trip to Taos, New Mexico that he took this weekend with his partner. It’s refreshing to hear someone tell you about something instead of watching them live every minute of their lives through a phone. This is how we used to connect and share stories with each other, but now everything is about instant gratification and instantly sharing with everyone what we’re doing. And why? What do we gain from it? The Almeida sibling theory is derived from the Netflix series ‘You’ season 2. Penn Badgley (AKA the crazy guy) says there are only two reasons people share on social media: 1. Revenge — not going to lie, I already have intentions to make a come back on social media in about six months. 2. To impress someone — everyone has done this before, but once I realized social media wasn’t helping me grow and it’s not healthy, that’s when I decided to take a break. My advice is to be as authentic as possible, live in the moment(s) instead of trying to share every moment with people who don’t really care. Unless you are using social media to monetize your craft or business, it kind of seems pointless to me.

“You Must Be the Change You Wish to See in the World” — Gandhi

This was a defining moment. The moment I decided to start viewing people as teachers (whether they were trying to be or not) instead of scumbags who wasted my time. There’s nothing I despise more than someone who wastes my time; time that could’ve been spent on someone else or even on me. Because once it’s gone, you can’t get time back — time is an invaluable, intangible, precious commodity. I’ve taken so many things personally, when people are hardly ever thinking about you and how you feel; they’re thinking about themselves and how they feel — not you. But I’m always thinking about how my actions and words will affect others, so why don’t they? It’s because we’ve been trained to not feel, we’ve turned off our emotions, and don’t give a damn about the repercussions, and we’ve become apathetic and callous. Every interaction is transactional. What’s in it for me; what do you have to offer me? This isn’t how life should be; this isn’t how our relationships and friendships should be, yet it is. How can we change this? In the wise words of Gandhi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

“YOU CANNOT PROTECT YOURSELF FROM SADNESS WITHOUT PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM HAPPINESS” — Jonathan Safran Foer

This is the last piece of advice I have for you as you go into the new year. Find community and if you can’t find it, create it. I’ve spent my whole life searching for my tribe, whoa, have I become a rapper? Okay, so what is a tribe? According to the internet, “a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.” The problem is I’ve been trying to follow other people’s tribes when I think I should create my own tribe instead. I guess this why we decide to procreate, right?The American ideology is that we are independent, and we don’t need anyone. This is something I bought into, but I’ve discovered this isn’t a healthy mentality, and the truth is I’ve never wanted to admit that I need anyone because then you risk losing someone. But I’ve learned to look at life like a game and everything you do is a risk. You have to be willing to lose a few folks, some jobs that weren’t meant for you, and a few friends along the way in order to win the things and people that will add value to your life. Listen to me, life is meant to be enjoyed and shared with others — you aren’t meant to be alone. And maybe you’re like I was and you tell yourself you’re better off alone (like the Grinch) and you don’t need anyone, so you isolate yourself so nobody can hurt you. I’ll end with the wise words of Jonathan Safran Foer, “You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

I hope that you gained something from my personal guide and are able to implement it into your life. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t achieve all of your resolutions this year because you have your whole life to become the person you want to become.

— Sarah Caitlin ❤