Why is Society Obsessed With Sex?
By: Rabbi Shmuel Kopel
Tags: Morality, Spirituality, Self Improvement, Sex, Love

It is pretty obvious that Western society is obsessed with sex. Drive down a busy street. I’m sure you won’t miss the signs. Pretty women posing in sexually suggestive manners. In the political sphere, any obstacle that prevents people from experiencing their desired form of sexuality, is viciously attacked.

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Access to constant sexual expression is considered a basic human right. Anyone that is missing their sexual outlet is considered deprived and pitied. Is there a disability that is worse than, missing the ability to have sex?

Gay pride and gay rights, seem to be more important than basic human rights. If an alien landed in Times Square and witnessed our sexual obsession, they would likely conclude that, people are really good at it. After all, we spend so much time and resources on it. Shouldn’t we have perfected it by now?

If the alien went to a bookstore, they would become very confused. The shelves would filled with books on “how to enhance your relationship”. If sex is so important, why is it so hard to get it right? What is wrong with us? How could someone join the exclusive club of people that, don’t feel the need to seek help on this matter? See https://www.spirx.org/about-us

Our basic standards for education require us to teach our children about sexuality from a young age. Before they hit puberty, they are pounded with sex ed. We also encourage them to socialize in a co-ed environment. In other words, as soon as a child has sexual desires, they already know how to have sex. In addition, they have an abundance of opportunity to do it.

Before using our reproductive organs for the purpose they are made for, people spend at least a decade practicing. Shouldn’t we be real pros after ten years, or more? Could you imagine someone that has ten years of driving experience, but can’t seem to find the gas pedal? Does that make any sense?

For some reason, people feel lucky to find a suitable marriage partner. Even after committing to a lifelong relationship, a high percentage will end in disaster. Many others will remain married while struggling with abuse, infidelity and a lack of satisfaction.

After so much practice, how could we get it so wrong? Or, did we? Perhaps some people are simply not capable of a lasting marriage? Could it be that, people develop a rich expansive appetite for multiple sex partners? After enjoying freedom and variety for over a decade, is commitment too big of an ask?

If sexuality is so important, why don’t we have better answers? After all, aren’t we the most technologically advanced society in history? The western world, with all its self acclaimed, moral and ethical “values”, must admit that there is something terribly wrong.

It is time to blow the horn and sound the alarm. We need to think and rethink the very essence of our value system. Are our ethics up to date with the era of the smartphone? Or, are we stuck in an outdated mind frame?

Whether you agree or disagree with my conclusions, I am confident that everyone could relate to the questions. Make sure to read till the end to find out how you could be the lucky one! See https://www.spirx.org/ to connect wit the author.

Why is sex so important?

We live in material abundance. Technology enabled humanity to become so much more productive than ever before. According to the basic rule of supply and demand, more product means less demand. That translates into lower prices. Products that in the past were only available to the rich and powerful, are now considered basic necessity. Certain “Luxuries” of the past, are even given to poor, as a form of charity. We can’t imagine anyone living without certain amenities that, no one had a century ago.

This may be obvious but, have you ever taken the time to realize the vast implications of this reality?

Just to make a simple comparison, let’s calculate the price of a hot bath;

Today, it will cost you a few cents for the water and a few more cents for the energy to heat it. It is no big deal to have a hot bath everyday.

What was it like, before we had the ability to pump billions of gallons of water, to every living space, in every developed city in the world? People had to go and fetch water from a local river.

A bathtub holds around eighty gallons of water. A water carrier could carry around four gallons at a time. If the river is ten minutes away, it would take the carrier twenty minutes to bring you four gallons of water. Ten minutes there and ten minutes back. Times that by twenty, to get your eighty gallons.

The poor guy needs to labor for seven hours to fill your bath. Let’s assume that minimum wage was $10 an hour. You just spent $70 to fill your bath. That is $490 a week to take a daily bath.

But wait, how will you heat that bath? Someone has to get wood. By the time you make a full calculation, it would cost you over $30,000 a year, to take a bath every day. Could you could afford that? Well, you forgot that your food doesn’t come on a truck. Someone had to bring it in much smaller loads, at much slower pace. Planting and nurturing the food was also so much more effort.

A century ago, a healthy six figure income, would not get you a hot bath every day. However, nowadays, the local homeless shelter will give you one, for free. It is considered a charitable cause to provide everyone a hot bath.

The ramifications are enormous. Today, poor people have the opportunity to experience more human pleasure than, wealthy people a century ago. This may sound obvious, however it is vital to understand our past. That is where our values originate. It is the key to re-evaluating our standards to adapt to our new reality.

In past societies, life itself was a privilege, not everyone could afford it. In our times, is there a developed society where people sincerely fear that, they will not meet their basic survival needs? In my experience, besides for people suffering from mental illness anyone could survive.

W no longer define “basics” by its true definition. To us, “basics” are the minimal and amicable access to human comfort and PLEASURE.

One of the biggest industries in modern times is, food preparation. In the past only nobles and very wealthy people could afford professionally prepared food. If we go a week or two without a pizza, Chinese or going out to a nice restaurant, we feel deprived.

If a parent would dare serve their child the same food for two days in a row, the kid will have a fit. We no longer eat to survive. We eat to enjoy ourselves. Survival is merely a byproduct of our pleasure.

Since eating and enjoying is our main focus, what happens when our pleasure interferes with survival? Go ask an experienced doctor, how often do people die from eating? If you haven’t checked, I’m sure you have a surprise coming.

Do you know anyone that died from a heart attack or a stroke? Did you know that one of the leading causes of these medical issues is, obesity?

So we eat for pleasure than, we diet for survival. How ironic? We went topsy turvy!

We complain that so many food manufacturers are using unhealthy additives, yet we are still buying their products? Why on earth does anyone NEED a Coca Cola? What is wrong with good old H2O? If the consumer only ate for survival, the shelves of your supermarket would look very different.

I’m sure you know where I am going with this. Just like we totally confused food, we totally confused sex. We perfected contraception. We are able to live in massive cities. Our variety of mates is virtually infinite. Sex is no longer the act of human procreation. It is just another activity that we do, to enjoy ourselves.

The only difference between food and sex is, the impact of food is much more obvious. Medical science has many tools to detect exactly how certain food affect our wellbeing. When it comes to sex, there is little we know about what is and what isn’t healthy. Why do we really NEED from sex? What are the benefits and drawbacks of multiple sexual partners? Is it the same for men and women?

I decide to research what “Western experts” say about sex. Try it yourself and see what you find. I went to our favorite search engine, “Google”. I typed; “Why do people have sex?” I could not stop laughing as I read one article after another. Just to give you an idea, I will quote one sources; psychologytoday.com. They divided the reasons that people have sex into four categories. The following is a summary of the categories and reasons;

Category One

Physical Reasons

Tension relief Pleasure Physical Desirability Experience seeking

Category Two

Goal Attainment

Trying to obtain the object of our desire Social status Revenge Using sex to gain an advantage in a relationship

Category Three

Emotional Reasons

Love and commitment Expression

Category Four

Insecurity

Self Esteem Boost Duty/pressure (obligation or coercion by another person) Mate guarding (doing the deed to ward off poachers).

Do you see the same picture as I did? Besides for seeming to repeat itself a few times, it is missing main reason. Not even one website that I came across, listed procreation as a reason why people have sex. Have we gone insane?

How could you trust any of these “experts”?

If I brought this article to your grandfather he would likely assume it was written by a prostitute or a creepy maniac. Tension relief? Experience seeking? Revenge? Obligation or coercion by another person? This is why we have sex? Have we lost our mind?

Perhaps we could justify this article and similar ones by arguing that, these ARE the ONLY reasons that people have sex, in our time? Of course, we know that sex could produce children. That is why the contraceptive industry makes billions of dollars every year.

In other words, we choose our partners for every reason besides for the reason we should. Then we expect everything to work out perfectly. If it doesn’t we wonder why. Furthermore, our laws, social norms and moral standards, are based on these flawed considerations. See