What I learned from paying people who did nothing for me.
By: Austin Willman
Tags: Relationship Building, Money Mindset, Psychology, Thought Experiment, Self-awareness

Neale Donald Walsch says become the source of what you desire. In this particular time of my life, I desire more than anything an abundance of wealth. More accurately, I desire an abundance of whatever brings wealth into my life. The problem is, all my adult life I didn’t really know what that was. In an attempt to pay my karma forward, I conducted a challenge.

It’s worded like this:

This week, be the person who allows others to receive what you desire.

$5 a day is all it took for this insight

Translated, for a week, I would be the person who allows someone to receive money every day. Those are the only guidelines I gave myself. At first I thought of scheduling this process out so I didn’t forget, reflecting on who I thought deserved my money based on the memory I have of them. Instead, I stepped into my inner woo-woo and allowed myself to be guided by what felt right.

The original intention behind this exercise was to experience my relationship to money, since that was the relationship I was looking to heal and improve. Giving away what you desire is supposed to have the effect of highlighting the abundance in your life.

“I want money, but look, I don’t need it because I’m just giving it away.”

As the week went on, I began to notice that I wasn’t attached to the money. I wasn’t training myself to let go. This exercise was important to me because it gave me a tangible way to experience exactly what I value in a financial exchange. It’s almost like finding my love language for money. If you find your love language, relationships become far simpler.

The learning most people glean from this assessment is that the way that they wish to receive love is usually how they express it. If my first love language is physical touch (that’s how I primarily desire to receive love), I tend to show love that way. What most don’t understand is that if someone’s primary love language is something like words of affirmation, then they may be quite annoyed if I’m constantly touching them. All they want is to hear loving words from me, and I’m trying to love them how I want to be loved, which is through touch. There is a misunderstanding in giving and receiving.

The reasons that I gave money away are the reasons I desire to receive money. This blew my mind.

This is completely new about the way I understand my money dynamics. I did not pay anyone who needed money. I paid people who somehow mirrored what I would want to be paid for.

I paid my baby sister when she did her first hypnotherapy session with me. I paid a friend who told me about a coaching certification he’s finishing up. I paid a friend who shared his excitement about a big client he just landed. I paid a friend who reached out to me to let me know he’s getting clean. Heck, I sent money to a friend who I haven’t talked to in 5 years because I remembered a song that we used to sing together and it brought a smile to my face that day.

This is key. It would’ve been easy to give $5 to homeless people, or those who I knew were out of a job due to covid-19, but that’s not what this challenge wanted to show me.

I was supposed to be studying how it felt to part ways with my money, to shed my attachment to it. Not once did I feel an attachment to my money. I wasn’t thinking about myself, and I wasn’t even thinking about the energy exchange. Although these people brought something into my life, that wasn’t what drove me to part ways with my cash.

I realised that I didn’t send money to people who did something for me. I sent money to people who were doing something for themselves.

This came as a revelation to me. When I felt the most called to allow others to receive was when they were living in a way that made them happy. Yes, I was the ultimate decision-maker of who I sent the money to, but I found it very easy to choose the person each day. These people made me proud. Somehow, when each of these people crossed my path, they were becoming who they wanted to be.

The challenge was to “be the source,” right? Well in this case, a singular person (me) was “the source.” In this laboratory, I chose to provide to those who embodied my values. Could it really be this simple? Does the source really choose to provide to those who embody its values? In reality, what is “the source?” The source is not one person, but a collective avatar that can direct its energy in any which direction at any given time. Some would call this the “invisible hand of the market” on a meta scale. But in our own personal economy, the source is simply the people out there who want you to embody your values.

The main lesson here is that you give how you want to receive. It’s about the values you hold and how you express those values. Look at when you choose to reward other people and why. That may give you insight about how you desire to receive.

If you want to join in on discussions like this and participate in some fun self-awareness challenges, I host a free men’s circle every week. I help men live in congruence with their higher-selves. We take the best IN the world and help them be the best FOR the world. I would love to connect on Facebook and LinkedIn. Cheers!