Find Daily Rituals That Work For YOU and Get Happy Now
By: Aubrey Freely
Tags: Spirituality, Freedom, Health, Habit Building, Happiness

We’ve all heard the advice. Eat vegetables. Exercise more. Meditate. Connect with friends. Keep a gratitude journal.

And all of that is fantastic advice for finding happiness and purpose in daily life. Tons of lives have been enriched by following these guiding principles.

Just maybe not yours.

Have you been there? You’ve tried four meditation apps, two kinds of completely overpriced meditation cushions, and indulged in heaps of self-criticism, but “keep a regular meditation practice” is a New Year’s resolution that you have (aspirationally, and without success) put on your list for the past three years.

Or maybe you joined a gym, went for a few weeks, and never darkened the door again.

Or your one experience with cooking for yourself merely served as confirmation that kale is really, really gross.

And all of this has left you feeling exhausted, not to mention completely without motivation to try something new. Maybe, you tell yourself, you’re just not the kind of person who can keep commitments.

Right?

Or maybe, you’ve been choosing the wrong commitments.

You’ll never be successful if you’re trying on someone else’s priorities and hoping they become your own.

In order to find success at living the life you want to live, you’ve got to choose the rituals and habits that help you–not the influencer with smiling photos, not your uber-productive cousin, you–achieve your goals. You are the most important factor in your own success. Shouldn’t you set goals that align with your strengths?

Exactly.

Let’s get going.

It Doesn’t Matter What Your Rituals Are–Just Have Some

This is your game-changer.

That meditation practice you’ve tried for years to keep? Maybe it’s not working, not because you can’t meditate, but because meditation doesn’t work for you.

Maybe you’re not eating clean food because kale isn’t your jam (trust me, you’re not alone on this one). Well, you know what adults can do? Not eat kale! Grownups don’t have to eat foods they hate. They can decide that they truly hate kale and never eat it again, because (and this is major) there are plenty of other healthy vegetables in the garden. Find one that works for you and eat it!

This is the most important factor to keep in mind whenever you’re trying to change your habits in general, or institute daily rituals in particular. What you do matters less than the fact that you are regularly doing it. In his book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work, Mason Currey catalogues dozens of daily schedules from prominent creators.

Guess what he found.

Their rituals were all over the place. No two artists started or ended their days in the same way, and yet they were all productive and usually content with their work. The one thing they had in common is that they had rituals–but the actual contents of those rituals were all over the map.

So, what should you be doing?

It’s up to you! You get to decide what in your life needs changing, what needs expansion, and how you want to get there. And the best part? If one idea doesn’t work, you have the power to change your mind.

Here are some ways you can begin to find what works for you and get happier and more productive instantly.

Set The Bar Low

Happiness researcher Gretchen Rubin says, “I try to make it as easy as possible to do the right thing.”

Is your goal of exercising six times a week–when your activity level has bordered on “slug” for years–really going to happen?

What if, instead, you started small? Try committing to stretching for five minutes each morning for a week You can make it even easier by unrolling a yoga mat right next to your bed the night before. Wake up, roll onto the floor, and discover how easy it can be to keep promises to yourself.

Find The Fun

Maybe the resistance you’ve felt to keeping your commitments is that…listen closely…you don’t actually want to keep them.

The important question here is: Why aren’t you listening to your intuition? The fact that you are not doing the things you set out to do doesn’t mean you’re broken. In fact, it can be a pretty accurate indicator that the problem isn’t you–it’s the habits themselves that do not serve you.

So what do you want to do? Keep it simple in two steps:

Ask yourself, “What would make me feel alive, refreshed, and successful?”

Do those things.

Maybe you’ve resolved to learn to play the piano because you think it will make you happy, but what you really should be doing is committing to giving yourself more time for watercolor painting because that is the creative activity that already brings you joy.

Many people want to engage in a spiritual practice regularly. As with anything, always ask yourself: What sounds like fun? If you commit to meditating or gratitude journaling everyday when you know that walking mindfully is more your jam, you’ll probably not succeed. Commit to getting outside, and your “commitment” will feel like a delicious indulgence.

Remember Who This Is All For

Daily rituals are not for anyone but you. Too often, we take on commitments because of how we hope they will affect how other people see us. It’s incredibly common, but totally pointless.

Don’t think about how it might look on Instagram. Don’t think about how it might inspire or impress other people. Don’t think about how proud your family would be (or how shocked!).

Think about you. If you don’t intentionally do what’s best for you, who else will? Happiness, after all, comes from knowing that no matter what each day brings, you know you’ve got your own back.

Keeping commitments that resonate deeply with both who you want to become and you you are right now will lead you into peace, happiness, and more creativity than you ever dreamed.