5 Things You Need To Set Boundaries With
By: Kelsey Kryger
Tags: Boundaries, Healing, Spirituality, Happiness, Mindfulness

Boundaries have become a buzzing topic in the wellness space over the past few years — and with the current atmosphere, they’ve become more important than ever before.

Personal boundaries are the guidelines and limits that you as an individual set for yourself, most often in relationships, that make you feel safe. All in all, when we set boundaries with friends or family members, we show them the acceptable way to treat us.

It puts limits on topics of conversations you don’t wish to engage in and sets limits on unacceptable behaviors. These imaginary borders protect our energy, time, and moods. But, boundaries do not end with your relationships. In fact, boundaries can be implemented all throughout your day to boost your overall quality of life.

Let’s talk about 5 things you must set boundaries with in order to increase your daily productivity, overall happiness, and mental & physical health.

Digital Content

This includes everything from the news to social media. Living in a digital age where we essentially have electronic devices connecting us to the outside world at all hours of the day makes it difficult to monitor the updates we’re constantly being exposed to.

Whether it’s the elevated anxiety of hearing a news anchor report that cases of coronavirus are rising, or it’s following Victoria’s Secret models on Instagram that drive a spiral of insecurity, it’s no secret that being plugged in takes a serious toll on our mental health if we’re not monitoring it.

To set strong boundaries with digital content, we have to take an intentional approach with what we are allowing to enter our energy field. This takes a keen awareness of how you are feeling after seeing a certain headline, image, or video.

Take media outlets, for example. Media outlets are chock full of bad news — according to them, nothing good is ever happening in the world. Now, let’s say you have notifications turned on from CNN, Fox News, NPR, and The Wall Street Journal. You have quite literally signed yourself up to receive bad news all day long! How could you ever expect to be in a good mood when the world seems to be on fire?

Here’s another one — you’ve gained a few pounds during quarantine and are feeling pretty out of shape. It’s got you down on yourself. For a dose of motivation, you scroll through your Instagram feed — where your feed is flooded with ripped athletes, toned influencers, and skinny models. Cue: you entering a spin of comparison, jealousy, and insecurity.

The majority of us spend our waking hours on autopilot with our habits and behaviors. We mindlessly scroll through social media, watch the doom-and-gloom news, and read articles that drive anxiety. And while you can’t control the digital content that’s being sent out into the world, you can monitor what digital content you’re interacting with. Whether that’s a simple act of turning off your notifications or unfollowing people on Instagram, you always have the power to be intentional about what you’re allowing into your energy field.

2. Your Phone + Notifications

In some ways, it may seem like digital content and your phone would tie hand in hand, but alas — the two have slight variations.

Cell phones went from being an increasingly popular commodity to a smart necessity that seems impossible to live without. And with each passing year, cell phones continue to improve their quality by adding more fancy features, further sealing the deal on phone addictions. I mean, have you checked your screen time lately?

Photo by Qim Manifester on Unsplash

When we keep our phone glued to us, we are yet again making ourselves available to the outside world at all times. All-day long, you’re receiving text messages, phone calls, and notifications from social media.

But, what if you decided you were no longer going to immediately reply to the text messages you received? What if you decided to only check social media twice a day for 5 minutes?

You guessed it — that’s a boundary!

We don’t realize it, but spending consistent time throughout the day on our phones sucks up precious time and shows that we are always available to whoever needs to reach us — in turn, neglecting moments spent in quiet with ourselves.

3. Time

Coming from a professional procrastinator, time is something that we all could benefit from setting boundaries with. Setting boundaries with time can take a lot of different forms and they are quite specific to each individual.

For example, if you’re an entrepreneur that works from home, you might decide to set a boundary on the hours you spend working each day. Or if you’re visiting family and they tend to serve guilt trips on extending your stay, it would be in your best interest to set a boundary on the amount of time you plan to spend with them before the visit even begins.

You can set boundaries on the amount of time spent with people, time spent working, time spent on your phone, and so much more.

When we set boundaries with time, we gain more control over our day which results in increased levels of productivity and satisfaction.

4. Alcohol

How many times have you been invited to a Sunday brunch, swearing to yourself that you’d only have 1 or 2 mimosas…but 3 carafes later, and you can’t even walk straight. The next thing that follows will likely be mass amounts of guilt, brain fog, and nausea.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

This isn’t an article to convince you to stop drinking. But, it’s worthwhile to ask yourself the question of whether or not you need to set a boundary with your drinking habits.

We live in a society with a dominant drinking culture. It’s advertised all around us and painted as the key to our problems. But the truth is, it can really leave us feeling a lot worse. If you’re constantly questioning whether the temporary numbing was worth it, it’s time to set a boundary.

When setting boundaries with alcohol, you must be disciplined in holding them — especially when around other people. You can put limits on the number of drinks you’re going to consume, the days of the week in which it’s okay for you to drink, and even limits on your drinking (example: I won’t drink on Friday night if I want to exercise on Saturday morning).

5. Moods + Behaviors of Other People

Despite how much we wish we could, we can’t control what other people do and say, nor can we control how they act toward us. Unfortunately, these factors can be the biggest energy suckers — meaning, there needs to be a boundary set.

But, how can we set a boundary with something that we can’t even control?

While you can’t control what gossip a coworker spills to you or the way your mother-in-law acts towards you, you can put a boundary on how you let these negative perceptions and feelings affect you.

With the power of intention and the presence of mindfulness, we can set strong energetic boundaries. For example, if you’re visiting your in-laws for Christmas and you know that your mother-in-law makes you feel unwelcome, acknowledge that before you’re thrown into the interaction. This simple action will help you deflect their negative energy and stay aware of the thoughts you’re feeling while remembering that the way someone acts towards you has nothing to do with you.

Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

Setting boundaries throughout various areas of your life are essential to maintaining your happiness and high-energy levels. Throughout the day, we are consuming so much information without realizing how consumption affects our mental health.

Examine the areas of your life that are bringing you stress, and dare to change them. The end result will equal your sanity.