Public speaking will change your life forever — I guarantee it. It happened to me.
By: Emmet Naughton
Tags: Entrepreneur, Coaching, Personal Development, Tedx, Public Speaking

Public speaking will change your life forever — I guarantee it. It happened to me. Emmet Naughton Jun 17·7 min read

Emmet, Co-Founder, Positive Progression

Positive Progression The Secrets Of The Worlds Greatest Speakers Secret 3 — YouTube

This title is no exaggeration. If you are that person who feels extreme bouts of anxiety every time you need to speak in front of others, then you are in the right place and you are definitely not alone. I’ve been there! But it does not have to be that way forever.

Let me share with you my personal story and how speaking up led to me standing out. My words are here to serve you and bring positive change to your unique life. That is my absolute aim in writing this article — in fact, it is now my duty.

Moving to London form a small town in the west of Ireland to the City of London at the tender but exciting age of 22 brought it’s challenges. Not only was I (and many others) experiencing the Global Financial Crisis (“GFC”) of 2008, resulting in me struggling to find the job I wanted but alongside this I was also experiencing an even bigger crisis, personally known to me as the Speaking Crisis! The difference between this Speaking Crisis and the GFC? My Speaking Crisis had been going on for over a lifetime! That’s a pretty long time to be in the middle of a crisis. Wouldn’t you agree?

Being an immigrant, having a strong accent, speaking an accelerated speed (yep, it’s common in Ireland to speak fast) and not knowing how to approach presentations and interviews made city life a mountain climb. Not only that, but I was suffering from extreme anxiety every time I had to present or speak in formal work environments. While this was going on, my mental health and confidence was also taking a serious battering. It was painful because I knew I had so much more to give. Instead, I suffered in silence and told no-one — because that’s what brave men do, right? They shut up and march on. Well, that’s what I used to think of brave men….

I finally got a job in an elite city law firm or magic circle as they like to call them. I was over the moon. Life in London was starting to look up, however, deep down inside me, I could feel that unsettling feeling lurking inside me saying “but you can’t speak confidently, you’ll get found out at some stage” This imposter syndrome voice was horrendous because I knew there was some truth in it because it was right, I wasn’t confident and I did need to address it. But hold on, addressing it or talking to someone about it is not what brave men do. Right?

The days rolled into months and the months rolled into years. I did my best to hide my Achilles heal, and in the process of hiding it, I was missing opportunity after opportunity to speak up and promote myself in the workplace. The result of not doing this? A deeper divide within myself, the confidence gap was now even wider. A volcanic crater in fact. Have you ever felt like this?

During this time, what really struck me was how other people I worked with who didn’t have half my knowledge were visibly smashing it at work. Senior management loved them and they were getting promoted in a heart beat while I remained watching from the slow lane — as they honked their horns and waved at me; beep, beep see ya loser. What a nightmare. But what was their secret weapon? They were confident public speakers!

At this stage though, let me give you an important insight which will help you join some dots. During my childhood, I unfortunately experienced an episode of severe trauma, which I only later found out from my therapist in my 30’s was severely impacting me when I spoke in front of others. How is that even possible, I hear you asking?

Well, trauma doesn't exit the body, mind and soul unless you give it a vehicle to do so. A vehicle can be meditation, therapy, yoga or indeed public speaking etc.. In my case, my fight or flight response was getting triggered every time I felt a sense of “threat” — situations where this “threat” could arise was when I stood up and spoke in front of other people (not friends, family or social circles), instead corporate environments were the hot zones for me because every time I had to stand up and talk, even if it was a small group of 5 people to introduce myself, I felt a big threat! I was trembling inside, my mind would go blank and my chest would get really tight. Most of all though, I felt really frustrated because I knew deep down I was a confident guy who had proven myself time and time again in my studies, in sport and even in work (minus the confident speaking part of course!). But, when it came to the simple act of speaking in front of others with impact, confidence and credibility everything I knew went to pot and all my knowledge and potential fell apart.

Please keep in mind that you do not have to experience a severe childhood trauma in order to feel the “threat” or anxiety I felt. We all have different traumas, life experiences and situations which can impact us in a variety of ways. For me, going to therapy later in life led to one of my many ‘aha’ moments of understanding why I had such severe anxiety when speaking in front of others. What could be your triggering moments from the past?

Then came the turning point in my life. Now 7 years living in London, promoted to the upper ranks of the corporate world — But how, I hear you asking? Thanks to my knowledge, my hard working nature and my hard earned intellect. When you can’t go through one door, build another! But we are not at the turning point yet, oh no, now that I was more senior, I was now expected to pitch for new business and present to clients………

…..MY NIGHTMARE ARRIVED and I HAD NO OTHER DOOR TO BUILD.

Fast forward and there I am preparing for a pitch in front of 12 very senior client decision makers. I didn’t sleep well for 3 weeks before the moment of truth. Then, the day finally arrived, exhausted from; the lack of sleep, the draining pangs of anxiety and picturing the scenario playing over and over again in my head. I step into the boardroom and there they all are, all 12 of them - looking unimpressed, stern and cold at me. This is pitch no. 6 for them and it’s 5pm.

I open up by saying an awkward joke. Response; dead silence. Ok, that didn't work, now act professional and don’t look too serious. I look up and they are all staring at me. “Sir, would you like to begin please?” And then the next 10 mins are a blur. What came out of my mouth next was rushed, lacked emotion, lacked impact and lacked what I had been fundamentally lacking for so long; my own true voice — one that contains credibility, authenticity and confidence — a voice that was yearning to come out but was buried way too deep down inside my soul. That was it, the final straw, I promised to myself from that day on, something was going to change.

And change did happen.

I joined Toastmasters International, a public speaking club based in central London — and every Wednesday morning at 5.30am I woke up to attend for a 7am start. I was relentless, never missing a session. It was uneasy at first but I felt safe by being around good, ambitious people, just what I needed. I then started forcing myself to present at work. Not only that, I spoke to my supportive and understanding boss at the time who also empowered me and put me into situations where I had to speak in front of others at work.

Then there was my unexpected creation of a unique journal method to empower and help speakers at all speaking levels which was featured in Toastmasters Magazine and the Telegraph. This creation empowered me to feel more confident when I was preparing and ensured I was always in a position to learn from all my speaking moments, no matter how big or small. I also learned from other speakers I personally knew and from reading about the greats — making note of all their secret speaking ingredients. This then got packaged up and became a best selling journal or in other words a new speaking tool!

Overtime, the compounding effect of all my efforts were paying significant returns to my life. My confidence was growing stronger, my ability to connect with others was on another level, my engagement with others hit new heights. Within 12 months, I got promoted and received a significant pay rise. I felt on top of the world. The momentum was in my favour and the pain, trauma and anxiety I had once experienced was starting to become a distant memory.

6 years on from that pitch in that uninviting boardroom and I am now proudly running my own personal development business (Positive Progression) that is empowering entrepreneurs and many others from all walks of life around the world to find their voice and become the very best versions of themselves. We empower you through 1:1 Coaching and our unique patented speaking tool — The Speaker’s Journal.

If you would like to discover more about how Positive Progression can empower entrepreneurs like you and many others, we would love to hear from you. Or perhaps you would like to share your own personal speaking journey with Emmet, the Co-Founder and writer of this article — either way Emmet and the team are here to serve you and empower you in any way they can through important life lessons we have learned with you.

If you would like to contact the author, Emmet directly you can contact him here: emmet@positiveprogression.info