Self Love Challenge
By: Cap Kotz
Tags: Self Love, Self-awareness, Darshak Rana, Mental Health, Spiritual Secrets

This week Spiritual Secrets encouraged followers to write a short read about self-love. When researching the phrase, the first description I came upon said, “An appreciation for self that comes from actions that support psychological and spiritual growth, well being and health.” Sounds good. I’m all in for well being and health. I decided to approach this challenge by answering the twelve questions posed in the Tumultuous Tuesday newsletter as a baseline for assessing my mental health.

#1 Am I constantly worried about something?

I’ve progressed from a 24/7 anxiety mindset to a daily average of 35% anxiety.

#2 Do I hate socializing?

I crave social connection but have come to understand I need to upgrade my emotional and energetic boundaries, and I am working on that during the enforced pandemic lockdown.

#3 Do I have justifiable reasons for being unhappy?

I like to think so, but it turns out I’m just spinning my woe-is-me wheel because it’s easier than getting off and practicing a positive mindset.

#4 Do I get angry often?

Anger has been a go-to all my life, mostly in spurts than as a chronic condition. I have dubbed my anger as portals to underlying emotions.

#5 Do I suffer from mood polarities?

Depression, suicidal ideation, and visionary creativity have ruled my life with triangular influence. I have suffered greatly within this pyramid of forces. Still, the depression and suicidal ideation have gradually relaxed, and I realize now they were misplaced protection from feeling self-love.

#6 Do I suffer from regular insomnia?

I trained myself to focus on muscle organization instead of suffering sleeplessness. This mental focus method has greatly contributed to my lucid dreaming when I do fall asleep.

#7 Am I unable to focus on my work for unknown reasons?

The pandemic year has brought me to the brink of loneliness and isolation to a degree I’ve not consciously experienced in this lifetime. Sitting at the desk for hours on end to accomplish my writing projects has been agonizing. I restricted my access to the Why Path (why am I feeling like this? Why is this happening to me? What can I do to fix it? Why, why, why?) and persevered. I’m coming out of the thicket, and my work focus is 50 % sharper.

#8 Do I get upset when my daily routine is disturbed?

I’ve more struggled with disturbing my daily writing and cultivating self-awareness and love routine. I came across a great method for dealing with this called urge surfing. When the urges come up to flee my routine, I now surf them like waves until they dissipate on the shore.

#9 Do I hold others responsible for my mistakes?

All the time! I use Think Out Loud or Talk Out Loud methods for getting better acquainted with my Point and Blame tactics. I intellectually understand these tactics are a quick fix for covering up my insecurities. I know they are not a good long-term investment, and I’m chipping away at the outdated habit foundation.

#10 Am I continually thinking negative thoughts?

I practice Emptying Thoughts and Dumping Judgment techniques daily, so, no, negative thoughts don’t rule me, though certainly, they come on through!

#11 Am I fearful without reason?

I have long had a close relationship with fear and have slowly trained myself over the years to focus on muscle organization when fearful stories seem reasonable to entertain. 2020 has tested this training to an unimaginable extent, but I’m now surfing fear waves with the best of them!

#12 Do I always feel I am right and others wrong?

Yes. I was raised to think of myself as different and superior to others for a variety of reasons. I have undertaken an extensive journey of learning to interrupt this pattern. It is tremendously freeing to cast off my superior clothes and gambol in self-love fields!