Things I Would Tell My Past Self to Prepare for 2020
By: Sophie Peralta
Tags: Self Improvement, Self Love, Wellness, Pop Culture, Mindfulness

Photo by Niklas Kickl on Unsplash

I have always thought of my independence as a strength, but in times of isolation it has brought me anxieties and feelings of depression, proving that I really don’t know myself as much as I thought I did.

2020 has felt like an episode of The Midnight Gospel. Our minds have propelled us onto a journey of self-exploration in what feels like the simulation of an alternate universe, yet our physical bodies remain here. Truthfully a part of me is still waiting to return to ‘life’ and the little errands and activities that are disgustingly germ-filled but make the human experience fun.

This article contains things I wish I could reaffirm to myself at the beginning of this roller-coaster-of-a-year, but since I can’t go back in time, I’ll be carrying it with me into 2021. I’m slowly learning to uncover my authentic self, and letting go of what or who I thought I was supposed to be.

1. Post for yourself.

The art of writing is teaching yourself how to think. If there is one goal that I have when I write, it is to make sure that I am writing to a part of myself that wishes I had this information sooner. I connect with content that is honest, insightful and empowering. Posting what you are passionate about will connect you to others who feel the same.

As a creator, I’ve learned that in order to be my authentic self, I need to post content that resonates with me. There is room for everyone to succeed at what they are good at. I assure you that celebrating someone else’s wins will not take away from your own.

2. There are a lot of creative people out there, but no one can do it like you do it.

There are so many hobbies I have experimented with over the years- several passion projects, sewing, painting, vlogging, etc. This year it was intensified because I’ve had so much free time inside. Even with all the hobbies I’ve figured out aren’t for me or don’t come as easily, the one thing that I will never regret is trying something new.

I truly believe that with anything you love doing, there will be an element of ease to it. You will get into a flow state. And if you lack the discipline to create as regularly as you’d like, that’s okay. Remember to take the time to rest and recharge because it’s also a part of the creative process.

Anything you create is unique, and whether you keep it to yourself or share it with everyone does not take away from that fact.

3. Concentrate more on your own vision than the eyes that you think are on you.

It’s a psychological fact that as soon as you announce that you are going to do something, the more you become unmotivated and less likely to do it.

That isn’t to say you should keep your endeavours private from close friends or family, but be aware of your expectations when sharing plans with others. It can easily become a craving for validation instead of guidance or support.

4. Listen to your body, and learn to recognize when you need to take a step back and recharge.

Coming from a family with two immigrant parents who have worked so hard to provide for my family and theirs back home, I have internalized that working hard is related to a sense of belonging and worth.

This is far from true.

I think we need to eliminate the idea in hustle-culture that working hard is just the ‘work’ part — it is also resting and recharging regularly.

Once we realize that our worth is not associated with any external factors like the money we make, our career, or social circle- the sooner we are able to discover an inherent sense of worth and what this feels and looks like to us.

5. Some people are only good for the season.

My mother always says, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

I truly believe that people are in our lives for a reason — whether we can see that or not is another discussion, but there is no doubt it changes the trajectory of our life or sense of self and maybe one day it will all make sense.

In knowing that who we cross paths with is out of our control, we will be able to cultivate a stronger sense of who is really meant to be a part of it.

6. Date yourself.

You’ve probably heard about the 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Once we understand how we prefer to love and be loved, the easier we can communicate our needs to others.

While it’s important to know what you like so you can vocalize this to others, have you considered how you love yourself in your own love languages?

My top 3 love languages are quality time, acts of service and physical touch and I’m making an effort to take even 10 minutes out of my day for quality ‘me time’ which means no phone, no distractions.

7. Spend more time trying to understand others than to be understood.

I know you’ve been hurt in the past, but don’t let that stop you from seeing the good in people. People are on their own journey of healing as well. Never assume you know their situation, nor judge them for being somewhere you once were.

More now than ever, let people in. Make an effort to listen to what they may need right now, because you may need it too.

8. Sometimes all you need is a good laugh.

I used to water down how much I love talking about things in depth because I thought a lot of people would see me as constantly ‘in my feelings’, moody or on some woo-woo. What they wouldn’t know is that I’m the comedian of my family, and I only crack jokes around people I’m comfortable with.

If like me, you enjoy critically analyzing random topics and find it hard to turn that switch off, find something light-hearted to indulge in. Maybe it’s an adult cartoon or stand-up comedy series. Or, laugh at yourself because you shouldn’t be taking life too seriously.

In conclusion…

Last night I watched Disney Pixar’s Soul and cried like a baby. I don’t want to spoil it, but it is easily the most beautiful film I’ve watched this year, and I think everyone should see it before this year ends.

For the past few months I’ve slipped into a life that has become so unrecognizable to me- a vicious cycle of trying to be grateful for the small things while feeling like I have nothing to look forward to. It’s hard when things due to unfortunate circumstances have been taken away from you, but there’s a funny thing about the unknown- it’s the only place where fear and excitement both exist.