You Can’t Be Anything You Want to Be
By: Rob Rynders
Tags: Entrepreneurship, Failure, Personal Growth, Personal Development

Google Glass was technically a failure, however, Google still learned a lot from the product.

According to an article in the New York Times, on June 7, 2017 the “Museum of Failure” will open in Sweden. The headline on the museum’s website states “Learning is the Only Way to Turn Failure Into Success.” The museum will display well known product failures such as Google Glass, Harley-Davidson Perfume, The Segway, and more.

The article quotes Dr. Samuel West, the founder of the museum:

“I really hope that you see that these mega-brands that everybody respects, they screw up,” Dr. West said. “I hope that makes you feel less apprehensive about learning something new. If you’re developing a new skill, trying to learn a new language or create something new, you’re going to fail. Don’t be ashamed of it. Let’s learn from these failures, instead of ignoring them.”

“Failure is actually a good thing” is not a new topic but is one that deserves re-visiting from time to time. We’re all under constant pressure in life to succeed. Whether it’s success in our careers, being a perfect parent, or a winning Little League coach, we can’t escape the expectations that are put on us by both ourselves and others.

In her book Generation Me Dr. Jean Twenge summarizes and analyzes mountains of research that’s been done on the Millennial generation (including much of her own). One of her key findings is that Millennials have been sold a bill of goods having been told they can follow their dreams and be anything they want to be. Having been given trophies for finishing last and constantly being told they are special, Twenge argues that this has done great harm to Millennials because they eventually meet the buzzsaw of real life. Her solution: we need to start telling our kids to temper their expectations.

I actually agree with that to an extent. It’s hard to respond to failure in a healthy way when you’ve been told all of your life that you can have anything and do whatever you want. Also, as Andrew Hill in the Financial Times points out, untempered expectations can lead to early burnout and perhaps worse.

When we don’t have the career we thought we would have or work in the industry we dreamed of all of our lives there’s still ways to engage in our interests/passions, even if they’re not our full time job. Maybe you didn’t make the cut to work at NASA but our instant access to knowledge makes exploring and learning about space and science a richer hobby experience than ever before. Often times finding that hobby or “passion project” satisfies our desire to follow our vocational hopes and dreams when we can’t do those things full-time.

I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling our kids or ourselves that anything is possible for or lives or even the world. Without allowing ourselves to imagine a better future we risk undercutting our own potential and the potential to create substantial change in the world. Instead, we need to find a balance. We need to shoot for the stars but realize that we may fall short, we may need to pivot, and that we may even fall flat on our faces. We don’t always have to be okay with that, but we need to be ready to handle, process, and bounce back from failure.

This applies not just to our careers but our personal lives. What we picture and what we want for our lives is important. How we handle disappointment and conflict when things don’t go our way is more important.

The next time you flat out fail take some time to go through the natural feelings of pain and disappointment. However, don’t linger in that place too long. Ultimately, you need to create space to regroup, recalibrate your thinking, and reorient your life. You may find that your hopes, dreams, and calling are still central to your being, but you may discover that your path towards those things is going to look different.

Failure is an opportunity to pause and notice where we are and who we are in life. It’s an opportunity to take stock of our relationships and feelings. It’s an opportunity to ask “what’s going on here?” and doing the hard work of figuring out what needs to change. Often times going through a thorough process of self reflection and evaluation leads us to recognizing that who we are and what we have is enough. That, perhaps, is the best thing that we can learn from failure.