How I fell out of love with fitness — and how I restarted the fire
By: Tom Skyrme
Tags: Health, Motivation, Workout, Fitness, Gym

How I fell out of love with fitness — and how I restarted the fire Tom Skyrme Nov 21, 2019·5 min read

We all have a different relationship with the gym.

Some love it and can’t think of going a day without training. Others see it as a chore and something that takes some serious motivation to show up. Then there is everything in between.

One thing that almost everyone can agree on is the feeling of self-satisfaction you get after a great workout. The feeling that you’ve achieved something and you’re a better person for it. Sadly, that feeling only comes after the session and it’s the period before where your mental state is in a much different place. It’s almost hard to believe how these two mental states are so different and can be influenced by movement. Whether it’s Ballet or boxing, your movement is creating this sense of fulfilment your body needs, but seldom wants much of the time. It can be something as simple as the weather which stops you from training and entering that headspace.

My personal journey, one I believe many can relate to, is from the position I spoke about at the beginning — the ‘cant think of not training everyday’ kind of guy. Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean this piece is exclusively for those who categorise themselves in the same bracket as me.

When you have a staple of progression and passion for self-improvement it’s a slippery slope when not achieving those key pillars of your life. There are several reasons why someone like me stops training. I attribute a lot of it to launching my business (within the same industry). The stress and anxiety of always needing to work. Setting goals and sacrificing my training when the goals aren’t going to be met. It’s the same with everyone, where training is always expendable, believing the 1–2 hours extra work is going to make all the difference. The science backed reality is those 1–2 hours in the gym, away from your 8,10, or even 12 hours working days, are vital for your mental state and general health & wellbeing.

When I did make it to the gym I often had really underwhelming sessions. Sitting down most of the day without raising my heart rate meant my fitness declined. Getting into the gym and finding you’re shattered barely halfway through the session is incredibly disheartening. The same applied with my progression on major resistance movements like squats, bench press and cleans. I acted as if I had been training consistently and got frustrated with the poor performance and left.

After a week or two of bad workouts my headspace just completely changed from wanting to train to forcing myself to train. Going in with the wrong headspace is a recipe for disaster. I didn’t WANT to be there, I felt like I had to. It meant I didn’t give it 100% and forgot a mantra I had used for so long of ‘being the hardest worker in the room’ (yes, I learned that from The Rock). Believing a simple mantra like that is such a driver to enhance your performance in the gym. Looking around and seeing others putting in effort and telling yourself that you are to work harder. Post workout sensation all the more satisfying.

What really compounded the sharp fall of passion towards training was the incredible consistency I had taken for granted for so long. Since my first boxing fight almost 10 years ago I have been lifting weights and focusing on training. I had a passion for training for so long because I wanted to compete at my best. Boxing, Rugby, Football, American Football, Cricket, I’ve tried it all. I’d often use my size and strength to help me excel in these sports. This period of my life has been the first time since I can remember that I haven’t been competing. The desire to win, to envisage my upcoming opponent and the sense of fulfilment I would experience beating them brought a belief to my training unlike no other. Snippets of competition outside sports had made me realise that competing is just as important as training to me . In fact, direct competition in life elements made me want something more, and work harder to get it.

This piece may not necessarily be for those struggling to take the first steps in training, but those who were in my shoes and could fall into the trap I did. Everyone has their own affinity to working out, as it comes in so many forms. Core principles reign throughout movement, with emotions so often being key to performance during the session.

I restarted my desire to train. Though, I fear others could lose it forever. Expecting too much from yourself creates a serious problem when you fall far from your own standards.

But I did restart the fire, and here’s how.

Plan your workouts — Whether its on your notes page on your phone or piece of paper, write down the exercises you’re going to do and how many sets/reps. It stops you losing focus and getting in your own head about the session. Go in and eat whats on the menu for the day.

Get a gym partner — When my training partner left I lost the accountability. Lost the laughs. Lost the motivation to push the extra rep. I thought I’d just get by on my own, though it was only when I started training with a new training partner my sessions started to become more diverse and enjoyable. Even if its for one or two sessions a week, their presence adds a new dynamic to both your workouts.

Book classes and pay for them — Much of the time you don’t put the work in when you’re just not in the mood. Pay for a class (now there’s money on the line) and that instructor will make you work. Bring a friend as well, compete against them to see how does the best.

Compete — Whether its against yourself or others. We all have the internal drive to win, and it does make a difference. Start playing sports, whatever it is. It is a welcomed break from the gym setting and changes how you’re working out.

Finally, accept time off — By accepting that this week is too busy to train, it wont damage your mental state when you consistently fail to make your sessions. A poor mental state, even caused by a lack of training, will have an effect on everything else in your life. One step back, two steps forward.