5 Ways to Improve Emotional Intelligence
By: Coach Lumen
Tags: Leadership Skills, Emotional Intelligence, Self Aware, Interpersonal Skills, Self Improvement Tips

As one grows to take on higher responsibilities at workplaces, the ability to work with people and get results through them and along with them becomes critical, not just for management but even for technical roles.

In the last 9–12 months, since Covid-19 has become the biggest global phenomenon, its impact is being felt on almost all aspects of one’s life. The impact on companies and their leaders has also been very significant, testing leaders in ways they would not even have imagined. And in some ways, the impact of Covid has been a leveler — the impact is on companies of all shapes and sizes, all regions of the world, all industry sectors, and all economies of the world!

Be it slowing down in demand, or impact on supply chains, or challenges with keeping the operations going remotely or in mixed mode, or even potentially positive impact of new opportunities that are opening up due to changed circumstances, all companies are dealing with change on multiple dimensions.

Dealing with constant change and unfamiliar circumstances are some of the common causes of stress leaders face. The Covid situation has amplified this and also prolonged the period of impact, with still no possible ways to predict what happens in the immediate, near, and long term.

Under such prolonged unfamiliar and changing circumstances, when one’s mettle is being tested as a leader, what can you do to keep your teams focused, motivated, energized, and aligned with the needs of today while facing a tomorrow that is unpredictable in so many ways?

Research indicates that Emotional intelligence accounts for nearly 90 percent of what sets high performers apart from peers with similar technical skills and knowledge.

And, for leadership roles, emotional intelligence becomes the key differentiator between success and failure. The ability to manage oneself, especially under stressful and ever-changing situations, ability to connect positively with others even during such situations, and continue to help them stay focused and productive are some of the critical capabilities a leader must possess — no matter how great s/he is in other areas.

An inability to be seen as a trusted leader can significantly impact the outcomes of a leader, her team, and her organization.

The 5 elements are being Emotionally Intelligence are:

1. Self-Awareness or Self-Perception

How one sees herself and accepts oneself impacts every experience we have, how we relate to external events, and how we react to them.

What can one do to improve self-awareness? Find out your EQ! Take a self-assessment using a well-regarded EQ framework like EQi2.0 (www.mhs.com/eqi2) or six seconds (www.6seconds.org) or reach out to an emotional intelligence assessor and coach Gowri S Ramani.

Know your strengths, the balance between various elements that go into making you who you are, and first accept it for what it is.

Can you change or improve from there? Absolutely — emotional intelligence can be developed throughout one’s life. Work with a behavioral coach who can take you deeper to understand the reasons behind the current state and how to evolve to something you want to be.

2. Self-Expression or Self-Regulation:

Knowing oneself allows considering how we want to come across to others and that requires regulating our actions, reactions, and communication of feelings and emotions.

Knowing one’s emotions and acknowledging them with the right word, helps us accept what’s happening with us. The association of its name or the right word puts it in perspective and helps us decide consciously how to use the emotion. E.g., if someone’s action is making you angry, the realization makes one pause and think how to use that anger — express it to the person who triggered it, or register that feeling and use it to take focused action, or accept it and bring it up later to the person who triggers it so that it may be received well.

With practice, it’s a skill you can improve upon over time.

3. Interpersonal or connecting with others

How we relate to others and create interpersonal relationships is built upon who we think we are, who we express ourselves as, and what form of the equation we want to have with the other person among other considerations.

For success in any field, the ability to work with others is critical. It is more critical as you take on higher responsibilities and your actions have a bigger impact on a wider scale.

As we engage with other people, the relationship must invoke mutual trust as a foundation for any association to work. For trust to develop, one must come across as authentic and dependable. And for authenticity, one must be in touch with who you are and be comfortable with who they are and be comfortable to connect with others being their true self.

4. Decision making holistically and not just on facts/data

Decision making is making choices with limited information and carrying them through to their logical end. Especially in current circumstances, almost all decisions have a direct or indirect impact on the people one works with and the people that work for you. Making such decisions can be very stressful.

Understand how your emotions and empathy impact your decision making. If you are too empathetic and get weighed down by the potential impact on people, making decisions can become extremely stressful. On the other hand, if you ignore the people affected by and involved in the decision, it can make you an overly rational and insensitive leader. So, find the right balance, knowing your emotions and how they affect you.

5. Stress Management

As a leader, one of the key defining elements is, how does one operate under stress. Do you deny its existence and keep it bottled in until it explodes, or do you accept, acknowledge and deal with it, or do you pass it onto your teams and anyone else you come in contact with? What defines you in stressful situations?

Again, the first step is to acknowledge one is having stress — don’t judge yourself too harshly on whether it is justified or unjustified to feel stressed, or on how less or more stressed you are. Find your own methods to release stress — meditation, mindfulness, physical workout, sleep, music, … there are many ways to release stress — find yours and practice it as soon as you realize stress building. Also, find micro-methods — like deep breathing for 5 counts — that you can adopt even in presence of others.

As a leader under unprecedented and unusual circumstances like now, becoming emotionally aware and emotionally intelligent about who you are and who you want to be is critical. Stay positive, take constructive actions to know yourself better, improve yourself, and support the people around you.

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