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One or Two
By: Jesse M. Gonzalez
Tags: Breakups, Poetry, Poetry Sunday, Poem, Love

Photo by Nicole Y-C on Unsplash

We might have spoken. Maybe a time or two

for endless seasons that tricked

the sunlight into sighing,

and slowly turn blue.

I remember how the clouds moved above us

like sad and guilty gods passing through

to check on the status of their creations.

You saw me in the twilight,

we shimmered on the crux.

Marching through the days, and the layouts of picture frames.

The evolution of socks and helmets full of thoughts. Those ordinary chapters

obtained the light before the writer led us through the dark. On the grass

the droplets of expired rain cradled the life of One or Two

for a chance to last.

Maybe we had talked too much, some lengthened times.

I said “that’s fucked up” enough

and knew there were lowly crimes,

but love was above all,

so I kept it with mine

until I forgot about luck

to have faith in every fall.

Was love enough? Was love the right thing to do? Was love the truth,

for you? And a bag full of flowers? For you to love me then say you’re stuck.

So why don’t you leave? Why don’t you go? Out to the grass. Out to the mud

where the blown-out dreams call your name through the wind.

Through the pain once again.

We might have loved, as we should have. We stirred

our coffee with honey,

and steered the wheel, deferred,

until the car crashed

in the meadow. We heard

the sound of our own myth

fading away and gashed.

Will I be home again? To meet my wit’s end and fabricate my worth and whine?

To the end. To the beginnings and commemoration. For the goings writhe

until I finally go to sleep only to dream of your magic and your pith

that serenades the night and glorifies the day

to be wakeful in my future’s steps.
The Best Kind of Goodbye
By: Sybil Chan
Tags: Breakups, Life Lessons, Relationships, Love, Self Love

Looking back through the luminous, clarifying lens of hindsight, I cringe at myself and my behavior.

Clinging on to his scattered breadcrumbs, his easy and free-flowing “I love you”s — a drug to my ears having grown up with so few verbal and physical displays of affection.

I didn’t think I could do any better than him. I didn’t think I had any alternatives, even as the illusion began to crack. Even as the red flags piled high beneath my feet.

The overarching emotion?

Fear.

Fear of loss. Of change. Of severing a source of comfort and companionship. Of having to start over, once again, as a flawed and lonely human being scrambling for yet another intimate connection.

A part of me believed I didn’t deserve that kind of connection. A part large enough to drive me toward the insane decision to stay. To sabotage my future. To delay the inevitable end.

That’s why I fought to stay bound to a man who had no place in my life.

Until finally, he forced me to wake up. I was too much of a coward to wake myself, after all.

And sometimes, that slap in the face feels like nothing. No blaring alarm, no lightbulb moment, no grand epiphany.

Sometimes, it just feels like fading. Ghosting. Disappearing.
The Narcissist Saga
By: Amber Redmond
Tags: Breakups, Love, Free Verse

Deception Games

Heavy like my heartbeat,

that angry, growling sonnet.

Teardrops on the kitchen tile,

deja vu from the last motherfucker

who used my love for his ego.

Why do I love these narcissist assholes?

Is this a nightmare

or is this reality?

I’m accustomed to,

expectant of the charming liars.

I’m screaming through the amplifiers.

Yeah, he knows me, I’ll keep crawling,

digging through the mud

and painting over the warning signs.

He knows I’m just a starving stray,

devouring the attention,

the fantasies he sends my way.

So he takes what he needs and leaves the shell,

translucent and tattered,

broken and forgotten.

Empty eyes glued shut,

stripped of my beauty.

Naked on the ledge.

Then that replacement body,

with her demon limbs,

with her succubus lips,

tosses me to the undertow.

And I can’t breathe.

But it’s not like

you ever cared about me.
I remember
Tags: Breakups, Relationships, Poetry, Poet, Lovesick

I remember

I may not remember all we planned

but i remember your embrace

i remember the way you wiped tears

off my face

i remember your smile forming

every time i laughed

and yet i couldn’t see, or can’t remember

if it was all just a delusion
Feelings
By: Nirbhya Singh
Tags: Breakups, Creative, Relationships, Poem, Love

Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash

You again and again come near me, and I want to talk.

You sit near me and make me so warm.

When I feel you, you just stop.

When I want to say “I love you”, you just get your phone calls.

So many things I want to say to you but you don’t.

What I do, to be of you, oh my love?

How could be we of each other?

You want to be mine or other’s?

Just tell me oh my lover.
The Breakup of the Year
By: Samantha Lazar
Tags: Breakups, Christmas, Poetry, Relationships, Love

‘twas the afternoon before christmas

and mrs. claus was a mess

she had recently altered

her former known dress

she wanted a shake up

something different for her

she’d had it with cookies

candy canes and sugar

she needed a cleanse

just a break from disease

she’d claim “allergy to sweetness”

he’d just heard her sneeze

the timing was awful

she had work left undone

but she’d begged for a change

and she was ready to run

year after year

same after same

and he rarely, if ever

said her first name

so she covered her new mini-dress

with a downy white coat

set her sleigh’s GPS

to meet up with a boat

she’d take nothing with her

in true ghosting style

he’d figure she’s shopping

and be home in a while

he could have the attention

but she could not have stayed

and with no turning back

she was no longer his maid

no longer his second

no longer his wife

she looked out to adventure

and went on with her life
Would anyone be interested in me posting about my boyfriend and my relationship.
By: Justyce Lapotko
Tags: Breakups, Boyfriend, Advice, Drama, Self

Would anyone be interested in me posting about my boyfriend and my relationship. I need advice and opinions on weather or not I should break up with him.
Putting everything you got into a situation, just for it to not work out.
By: Ysabellah Jhene
Tags: Itsokay, Breakups, Relationships, Love, Hurt

Putting everything you got into a situation, just for it to not work out. My first relationship was hectic, it was not perfect, but I really don’t think any relationship is. Cheating, lying, and manipulating was what we had going. Don’t get me wrong though, we had the best times together, he was the person I went too for everything, I trusted him with my heart, and I honestly gave him all of my time. 3 years of us, one week of arguing, and one day for him to move on with someone else. That was not love, because if he loved me, he would not have hurt me. And that is what he did… he hurt me.
It all started with a girl and a boy.
By: Madison Elliott
Tags: Breakups, Relationships, Boyfriend

It all started with a girl and a boy. The girl is me, who at the time was a sixteen year old weirdo. I didn’t understand that someone could be happy in life. I wanted to stay where I was because I thought things could only get worse. Love never seemed possible. I lived by the motto that if you’re lucky you will never see me again. The high school boy who worked at Dairy Queen would forever change my life. For a year, I felt wanted, cared about, alive, and like life was worth a chance. Nobody wants to be the one to walk away. Things just were not the same for us. Breakups are full of. feelings and emotions. When you break up with someone you love and you’re not able to be with that person. You’re broken hearted and depressed but you can’t help but to think obsessively about them and all the feelings you had with them, when you first kissed, and all intimate moments you had together just come back again and again and that person becomes an obsession. You feel all the physical sensations and you feel helpless like you’re nothing because you can never get back with that person. You hate the person for what they did to you but you can’t help but to still love them. Yet because you love them you had to let them go.
What Happened
Tags: Breakups, Love, Relationships, Dating

I know what I told my friends

I know what I told you.

And then there’s what we both know.

The things you didn’t do.

You lacked passion, and heart, and emotion.

I called you a robot with way too much logic.

And sometimes in love baby you gotta create a commotion.

But you stayed quiet, and distant, and stale.

It’s not my fault I needed more

Someone to scream and fight and cry.

And it’s not like I was keeping score,

Buy would it kill you to at least try?

I get it you don’t know how to flirt.

I get it you can’t call me first.

I get it it’s you’re first time being a boyfriend.

Do you get you’re the reason this has to end?

There’s this guy that I’m talking to,

And so far he seems much better than you.

He’s attentive and funny,

And can actually hold a conversation.

My friends told me to slow down.

And guys I get it, I’m sprinting.

But how do I tell them every time I stop I cry?

You moved on in a second and now it’s like I’m drifting.

But it’s fine I’m fine I’ve been through worse.

And you knew that and still have no remorse.

You left me high and dry,

We didn’t even get to say goodbye.
Before ending a relationship!!
By: Hrishav Singh Rajput
Tags: Breakups, Lovestory, Relationships, Couples, Love

Hi, I am one of the millions of people who are struggling in the field of writing. I have been writing for almost 3 years now. Currently working on a novel.
How To Heal After A Breakup
By: Sara Knick
Tags: Dating Tips, Breakups, Dating Advice, Healing, Love

People breakup with their significant others in different ways. Sometimes it is mutual. Sometimes one person wants to end it, but the other person doesn’t. Sometimes there’s drama involved. Sometimes emotions take over and make a person do crazy things to get attention from their ex. The feeling of not being wanted anymore can send our ego spinning.

People want that feeling of being wanted and feeling special, but when the other person no longer desires you, you can be left very confused. You can end up feeling depressed as well as embarrassed that you opened yourself up to someone that you thought that you were going to be with forever.

In perhaps not having all of the answers of why someone wants to leave you behind and move on, you may dwell on the “what if”s of the situation. What if I treated this person this way? What if I did this? What if I did that? Your mind may go to trying to fix a problem that will never be “solved.”

Causes for breakups can be many. Someone may just need a break to do some “soul searching,” which would also be known as finding their authentic self. Someone may feel pressured to react and respond in the relationship in ways that do not feel good to him or her, which doesn’t necessarily mean that the other person is bad. If you really love someone, you allow that person to go if the desire is there to do so. True love is full awareness of your authentic self as well as the authenticity of others and letting them act in ways that align with their authenticity.

You may have several emotions after a breakup and not know where to start in handling them. That’s perfectly fine. You have the right to feel through your emotions. You need to recognize the truth of that relationship that just ended in order to find closure and start the healing process. Perhaps through contemplation, you realize that the relationship was not ideal to begin with. Perhaps you both had different goals and were trying to make things work, but it did not work out. In understanding the truth of how that relationship worked and what our part was in it, we find that closure.

We may not feel that the relationship was over. We may have felt like there was so much potential in it. We may not find the closure that we’ve been wanting.

Healing begins with the recognition and understanding of the truth within the relationship that ended. Being aware of what kind of partner you involved yourself with, what his or her love goals were as well as any other reasons that may have contributed to the breakup is a start in getting a full picture of the situation at hand.

It may take months or years to heal from a breakup fully. In starting the healing process, we must make a conscious choice to heal if we want to leave that relationship in the past. Assessing our emotions and feelings about the partner that we chose and why we chose that specific person as well as finding wholeness within ourselves is part of the love process. Assessment, change and alignment are the answers. We can repeat these as often as is necessary for us.
Naked Yoga
Tags: Memories, Breakups, Yoga, Relationships

I was recently invited to a naked yoga class by a friend. I’ll be honest, I don’t love my body, so the prospect of doing naked yoga was daunting.

So of course, I said yes. How could I not when at the simple thought of it, my pulse quickened? It made me feel uncomfortable, and thanks to my philosophy of ‘no fear,’ I had no choice.

I’m not going to lie. It was weird at first being naked in front of my computer (Did I mention it was a video-virtual class? Yes, it was!). I only knew one the other people in the class. And I’m not sure if it’s worse that the class was filled with random people I never met or not.

the class went well I got a nice workout, I got some stretching done, and at the end I was glad it was over. I thanked the instructor, and I signed off. It was later on that night that I realized I felt a little raw. Upon further reflection, I think part of my hesitation to do the naked yoga was more due to some personal history, than actually about being naked.

I used to date a woman who was a yogi. I attended a couple of her classes when we were dating, but most of the yoga I did with her was in other teachers’ classes. I realize that I had done so much yoga with her, that the idea of going to yoga class brought up memories of her. After I realized this I give it some thought, and I thought about my ex.

I’m actually looking forward to the next naked yoga class, and I hope that when I do it I won’t feel as uncomfortable as I did the last time. I think it’s fine to feel uncomfortable sometimes, as long as I know why am feeling uncomfortable. I certainly miss my ex-girlfriend and the joy that we shared when we were living together and dating, but instead of not wanting to do yoga because it reminded me of her, I’m going to try to enjoy yoga and enjoy that it reminds me of her.

I think in general, I miss my ex partners and the things we used to do together. I’m certainly happier now than I’ve ever been in my life with my current partners, but that doesn’t mean that I need to turn off my emotions regarding my ex partners. I imagine that my exes miss certain parts of the relationship they shared with me as well, and I hope that they too are happier in their new lives without me. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever hear from them again, and most the time I decide that I probably won’t. I’m okay with that, but I’ll always remember them when I do yoga, or take a rowboat onto a lake, or set up a tent in the living room.
The 2 Approaches to Recovery from Heartbreak — Which One Are You Using?
By: Ellen Nguyen
Tags: Breakups, Advice, Relationships, Self, Love

After a break-up, you often feel a sense of loss. You might know deep down that you need to move on, but it doesn’t always come easily to you. You’re overwhelmed by many different emotions and scared to face your new reality without your (now ex) partner.

I have definitely been there.

Throughout my early twenties to mid-twenties, I went through many intense break-ups. The younger and more immature I was, the messier the break-up. I relied on instincts to get me out of misery, but my instincts didn’t always serve me well, especially when I was consumed by anxiety and desperate for security.

But things changed when I hit rock bottom two years ago.

I realised that I needed more than instincts to save myself and turn my life around — I needed a clear strategy. I stopped finding quick fixes and emotional band-aids; I set goals and moved on in real terms. Within six months, I felt like a brand new person, and my life changed completely.

After reflecting on my past break-ups and healing processes, I concluded that there are two approaches to recovery from heartbreak. Each has its pros and cons — which one are you using?
Would i be able to accept you again ?
By: Avany
Tags: Breakups, Relationships, Broken

Would i be able to accept you again ?

You are here again ?

Are you looking for me? The one you left that day crying for you just because you felt like I wasn’t the one for you ?

So what does it feel like to miss me again? How does it feel To think about me in your dark nights? To feel the void of love? How does it feel To sense the absence of my unconditional support and care?

Does sitting alone in your room, having your favorite masala chai, reminds you of me? Does walking alone in the streets, and not being able to share your thoughts, reminds you of me ? Or maybe those nonstop gossips on the calls reminds you of me?

You went away with the thought that you could easily move on , so why are you here now? You thought you deserve better? You thought I wasn’t the one?

I could always accept you maybe but would you be able to accept your mistakes?

-AD
Frostbite
By: Bradon Matthews
Tags: Breakups, Melancholy, Poetry, Free Verse, Poem

Frostbite

Photo by ALEXANDRE DINAUT on Unsplash

The wind blows from the north,

You are gone the way I

Knew you would be, cold

And fleeting, the snow

Drifts along the empty street

And I wonder how you keep it up,

The ice, the frigid silence

Didn’t break for anything,

Not tears, not please,

Not desperate reasons just to

Talk, you’d go into

Another room and leave me

Freezing and alone,

You’d steal the warmth and let me

Get so frostbitten I would threaten to

Shatter, and just to test it

I would beat my head like

It hid the summer, grow

My hair out to hide the

Bruises, starve my tears

Till midnight and while you

Slept I’d let them stream

In storms,

But you preferred the frost and

I could never understand,

The blueness in my eyes must have promised

Something colder
Is (500) Days of Summer Misunderstood?
By: The Dating B.
Tags: Breakups, 500 Days Of Summer, Relationships, Relationships Love Dating, Psychology

Tom is a hopeless romantic, an embodiment of the “nice guy” trope. Summer, on the other hand, is a free spirit who doesn’t believe in the so-called fairy tale of love. It’s a fairly familiar premise and we’ve seen this theme of Opposites Attract over and over again on screen. Two seemingly mismatched people that are destined to be together (Ross and Rachel, Jack and Rose, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, to name a few).

In reality, opposites don’t attract. We’re far more likely to be attracted to people who are similar to us.

But, as an audience, we’ve been conditioned by countless movies and TV shows to believe that Tom and Summer will overcome their differences. We think that Tom will somehow convince Summer that true love does exist. That the girl who thought she wanted to be independent would change her mind once the right guy came along.

So, even though Summer continuously tells Tom throughout the film that she’s not looking for a relationship, we (like Tom) don’t believe her.

When Summer does eventually break up with him, he’s left heartbroken and we, the audience, are left empathizing with him. According to The Take, though, we shouldn’t be.

After all, Summer did tell him that she didn’t want a relationship. And she said that the whole time, never giving him any indication that she’d changed her mind. As the movie flashes across timelines, we also see signs of her discontent — their early infatuation is juxtaposed with their later incompatibility.

It should, then, be fairly obvious to Tom that she’s unhappy. He shouldn’t be shocked when she dumps him. The fact that he IS just goes to show that he wasn’t truly listening to her.
Your Memories Are Wreaking Your Heart
By: Jennifer M. Wilson
Tags: Breakups, Mental Health, Relationships, Self, Love

Your Memories Are Wreaking Your Heart

Does the image know the reality, or does the memory of taking the image hold the reality? (Photo by Harry Shelton on Unsplash)

I went to bed quite late last night. It was an insane week and by the time I crawled under the blanket, I crashed.

I dreamed of someone who I have desperately been trying to get over. It’s one thing when he makes a quick cameo in a dream and leaves, I barely recall when I wake up. But this time he was a key player.

I remember an operating room full of people. I remember sitting up, being loopy, wrapping my arms around him and calling him by his first name instead of “doctor” in front of everyone. I remember him laughing because of my drowsiness and gently unwrapping my arms from him. I remember him saying he’d be right back and he never did, while I waited.

My alarm rudely woke me up at 11 am. In a life with two small kids, sleeping in that late is unheard of. The dream was so real and intense that I slept through the reality of my noisy kids that morning.

That seemingly-real dream lingered and messed with my head for the rest of the day.
Your Secret
Tags: Breakups, Poetry, Relationships, Poem, Love

Your Secret

I am a whisper that sits on your lips, dying to escape the confines of your arrogant smile

I hide in your shadow, so you appear brighter and bolder like the bachelor you are

I am the unsaved number in your phone, my thoughts stay anonymous

I am your nobody, your no one

You need me, you don’t want me

So you keep me, your secret
The faraway heart
By: Losing Interest
Tags: Poem, Breakups, Love

Through forests and frozen lakes beats the mountain heart;

A house grown green amid the white laden wood.

Each step towards a slog from where I did depart.

No chance to reach warmth and now I have understood,

Even had I been the seasoned sort from the start,

There was ne’er a single path with which I could.
Breakups and grief can’t break us unless we allow them to
Tags: Breakups, Grief, Grief Recovery, Grief And Loss, Getting Over Someone

Sometimes people leave. At times you walk away from people.Its all about balancing love, kindness, inspiration and support. Sometimes you are hurt sometimes you hurt. Forgive yourself forgive the other but don’t forget the love.Whether you lose a person to death or have a break up, the pain is unbearable. Different kind of loses result in varying degrees of pain. Each to their own. What we miss is how that person made us feel. We miss the person we are around that special person. It’s a part of us that we miss. A part of us that feels love and is happy because of the presence of that special someone in our lives. Memories haunt us. We crave to hear their voices. We desire their physical presence and their touch through a hug or handshake. We wish that once just once more if we can be with them. We miss our loved one but above all we miss the person we are because of their influence in our lives. If it’s a break up it damages us and we feel unworthy. If we miss someone who has departed from this world we hurt like crazy and feel so helpless. Moving on is not easy. Time is the healer but it also takes its own long course. Meanwhile we live like a fish out of water feeling blue depressed and hurt within waiting for healing to happen. The year 2020 has been a rigmarole for people many have lost lives due to the Covid 19 disease. Many have broken relationships due to financial, emotional and circumstantial stress. Healing is a tough journey. The only thing that will help make this journey a little less painful is the love one takes along. Don’t try moving on without the one. Remember the love how they made you feel, what you shared and how worthy you were in their eyes. What you became because of the person cannot be undone. When you try to tear away that part of you is when it hurts the most and makes getting over a loss really challenging. Take the love along, embrace the person you have become because of them and then move along. May be your loved one or ex is not a part of your life anymore. But what you have become because of that relationship, the happiness of the past times spent together and the strength that the bond gave you is already a part of your life. No one can take that away from you. You don’t try to destroy that precious and beautiful part of yourself and break your own spirit. Take the love along.
Getting Off That F*ing Couch
By: Meaghan Ward
Tags: Breakups, Life Lessons, Relationships, Self, Love

A year ago I was working hard in therapy, doing EMDR, going back to that moment on that gold velvet couch over and over and over again — to the moment John told me he couldn’t be monogamous with me, and I knew instantly in my heart that it was over.

I had such conviction at the time that I walked out on him, after knowing and loving him for a decade, I just walked right out the door and I haven’t seen or spoken to him since.

The thing is, I had a hard time forgiving myself for that.

I mean, he was the one who hurt me, he was the one who ruined us, and yet I carried guilt around for years that I never fought for him, not even a little bit.

Even though I couldn’t fathom a life where he saw and slept with and potentially loved other people, there was always a part of me, for years, that wondered if I’d made the wrong choice in walking out.

I used to think:

I’ll never forgive myself for thinking my self-respect was worth more than his love.

My therapist spent a year trying to convince me otherwise — mostly because, fun fact, John didn’t fight a smidge for me, either.

We went on quite a journey, but every day it started out on that gold velvet couch, with me looking into his dark eyes and no longer seeing a future.

I was being forced to confront that potential future over and over again, in every session, and try to project what it would be like to have stayed.

What I saw scared the shit out of me.
love’s just a scam
Tags: Breakups, Break, Dating, Relationships, Love

Love won’t stay long

Love won’t hold on.

Love’s just a scam,

When he doesn’t give a damn.

Men really think,

All in a blink,

Hurt feelings go away,

As long as they say:

“Baby I’m sorry,

I guess I just worry,

I’m not good enough,

And I’m trying to be tough”.

It’s all the same shit.

And they’ll never admit,

That it’s all just an act,

And now you feel attacked.

Your heart gets broken.

You’re wishing he heard the words unspoken.

But he hasn’t learned to read you,

The way you read him through and through.

It’s over, and it’s quiet.

But you were wishing he threw a riot.

And it feels like a scam.

But now you know he doesn’t give a damn.
I Know I Left You, But
By: Dr. Anita
Tags: Sex, Breakups, Relationships, Life

Jesus, why did you leave without a trace?

Not even Facebook can show me your face.

I know I left you, But sweetie, haven’t you heard of

Sex without strings? —

It’s been in the news.
Last Year
By: Julia Rose
Tags: Breakups, Poetry, Poetry Sunday, Relationships, Love

Last Year

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

Dear last year lover,

I know you, you’re like this.

You’re excited by nice things

Pretty things

Young things.

Is it their energy you need?

Their heart to fill your holes?

Their innocence to replace what was ripped away?

Last year’s vibration — was it mine or yours?

When we collided, who spoke first?

Who broke first?

That night in December we went to a comedy show, we laughed. You wore that purple v neck shirt and we drove home. We played some piano, then you cried. You cried hard. Not saying much about why. But the words you spoke had weight. Heavy like a god damn anchor. “I’m not worthy of love” you said.

Seeing your pain has not left me.

It’s here.

Because I know not how its changed. If it’s changed.

You share so little with others, I feel I carry a burden.

The other lovers you’ve had, we all share you.

If I met them now or in the future, I’d empathize.

With Lindsay, Caitlin, Shauntae, and Teagan. Even if she lasts or doesn’t, she already knows. And so we share this.

We share you and we carry you.

I can see the night you left in the dark, in the purple v neck and your new winter coat.

I will always be a witness to you. Of you. Of the pain.

But not of the climb up; the progress; the change; the light.

I have to hope it rises anyways; rises without me.

Dear last year lover,

The year is almost done. December’s early dusk is upon us. The bright snow has fallen. The ice formed.

If I hadn’t run into you in the street in the summer, I wouldn’t have seen you since March.

You live just across the river; we’re separated by time.

I’ll check on the red jeep to make sure you’re still alive.

We’re leaving this calendar year. In 2021, our connection expires in its completeness. No recent memories, jokes, missed calls; no mutual friends, no co-working space. No space at all.

Dear last year lover,

I guess this is it.

2019 will always connect us.

But once we hit next year, it’ll feel far away.

Very far, indeed.

So here we go, last year lover.

Take a deep breath and let’s dip underwater, in a space that suspends time, and think once more about the loving we had. The memories, jokes, missed called and mutual friends. The co-working space and the space at all.

It’s time for our New Year’s Eve.

And this year, we’re kissing other people.
A Love Note
By: Vivian-Raquel Dayan
Tags: Self Improvement, Breakups, Time, Love Letters, Love

I’ve been going to sleep waiting to wake up just to see if I still love you, and I still do. Not in the same way that I used to, but I was mad that I woke up thinking about you. Lately, when I wake up I ask myself, “Do I still love him?” But this morning, I was mad that I didn’t have to.

I had a dream and you were in it. We didn’t speak but I could feel the love you still have for me emanating from your heart. The sad part is that I wanted to bathe in it, but It didn’t feel right. The love felt conditional, like it was going to leave with time. I felt rushed to capture it all in an embrace. I couldn’t enjoy the experience because my soul heard the clock ticking. I know your love for me is authentic, and I never doubted that for a second, but it never truly felt mine.

For some reason it’s easier this time. To be okay just feels okay. Although I’m staying present, when I blink, I do still see you. Even though I can still feel you, I continue to just look straight ahead. I won’t let myself get wrapped in what we had.
sad story
By: Oscar G
Tags: Breakups, Depression, Regret, Relationships, Sadness

Things started out fast.

You were forced into love fast.

The whirlwind was incredible.

You had problems, though.

And so did she.

It made it hard sometimes because you couldn’t help each other, because you both needed something that the problems prevented.

You still made it work.

It was a beautiful thing and you loved it so much, so much more than you even realized.

But with the speed came fear.

You’re young, is she the one? Is it worth being with one person for the rest of my life? Are we similar enough? Is questioning this the first sign that things are destined to end?

Photo by Lance Grandahl on Unsplash

You feel like you’re being torn apart, your emotions go cold, you become incapable of handling the relationship but needing it at the same time.

The paradox ends in a talk, a talk that you both know the end of.

She pulls up in her car. You walk out to meet her, you just want to have a conversation but she stops you.

She says she knows what this is about, you’re breaking up.

You didn’t want to admit it, you can’t speak, you burst into burning tears.

You walk into your backyard together and sit on a bench in the dark.

You hold each other, each knowing this may be the last time you are this close.

You look into her eyes, talking about how this happened, realizing that this beautiful face, the face of your best friend, your lover, your rock, will soon be a stranger’s face.

You want to throw up or die or explode.

You help her clean up all of her things that had accumulated after living with you for two years.

You throw away all the drawings and notes she left you, not wanting to, but knowing the sight of them would be unbearable.

You give each other the Christmas presents you already bought.

You cry more.

She says goodbye to your cat.

You walk out the front door together for the last time.

You hug, not wanting to ever let go.

As you finally release, your hands catch and you look at each other for the last time.

You say “I love you” for the last time.

Your index fingers are the last thing to touch as you let go.

You turn around and so does she.
The Come Down
By: Vivian-Raquel Dayan
Tags: Enlightenment, Breakups, Love, Writing, Self Love

Love is ecstasy, and like any high we must come down, and coming down is the worst feeling of all. The secret, which I wish someone had not only told me earlier, but also taught me how to do, is to always love myself, to get to know myself, and to literally thank myself every single god damn day. When this happens, no love for another will ever leave us heart broken. The love we have for someone else should be seen as a mirror for how much we love ourselves, and when we recognize that, well god damn, we’re fucking enlightened.
Just Because
By: Vinita Ramtri
Tags: Breakups, Mindfulness, Relationships, Poetry Sunday, Love

Just Because

Vinita Ramtri I Photo Credit Brian P.

Just because I smiled

You assumed I was content

Just because you said sorry

I assumed you repent

Just because you were loud

I assumed you were strong

Just because I rebelled

You assumed I was wrong

Just because your love felt real

I assumed it was true

Just because I loved you

You assumed I didn’t have a clue

Just because my heart ached a lot

I assumed I should move on

Just because I could take it no more

I decided to be gone
Dubai Properties: An Oasis for Nigeria’s Corrupt Elite: A Review
Tags: Oasis, Uijrt, Nigeria, Dubai

Corruption is one of the social issues that affect the Nigerian state culturally, economically, politically and socially leading to myriads of averted problems. The Nigerian ruling class found it escapable to loot and rape the national treasury with impunity.

The looting was followed with the effrontery of money laundering and acquiring of assets abroad in an exotic destination such as US, UK, Dubai and other places.

This work is a critical review of a research conducted by Matthew Page under the support of Carnegie Endowment for International Peace which investigated the ownership of properties worth millions of US Dollars in Dubai by Nigerian Politically Exposed Persons (PEPs).

This study utilised a methodology of comparison and textual analysis of the findings of the report critically by identifying the strengths and weaknesses of the report and a suggestion for future research work.

The study concludes that the report in Dubai Properties is just a tip of an iceberg if other countries such as US, UK and other favourable destination of Nigeria’s corrupt elites are reviewed in a study of the same nature.

The study recommends that researchers on corruption in Nigeria should seek for an international grant to expand the study of this nature into other countries of suspicion to enable for the furnishing of the citizenry with the treachery of the ruling class for a quick demand of accountability and transparency in governance.
The devastating British-Abeokuta war — the Adubi war of 1918
By: Dave Partner
Tags: Juju, Abeokuta, Nigeria, Adubi War, Colonialism

The British-Abeokuta war took place in 1918. It lasted for 3 weeks. Cause of war: The British introduced forced labour and taxation, the people of Abeokuta refused.

The British arrested 70 Egba chiefs and held them to ransom until the people agree to start paying taxes and go under forced labour.

Follow me on medium.com/@davepartner

The people refused, 30,000 Abeokuta people revolted, attacked the rail way line, derailed a train and killed the Oba Osile, the leader of the north-eastern Egba district for allegedly supporting the British. The British soldiers mobilized to put down the revolt, it went on for 3 weeks before being repressed.

The British officers that put down the revolt received special military medals tagged “The African General Service Medal”. They then went ahead to revoke the Abeokuta independence in 1918 and put everyone under forced labour for decades. After which they introduced the same tax the people tried to revolt against.

Here is the interesting statistics

Casualties

British: 2

Abeokuta: 600

Weaponry

British: guns, machine guns, explosives, knowledge of advanced warfare against well armed groups especially since that was the last year of the second world war.

Abeokuta: machetes, stones and probably charms.

Lessons?

Follow me on medium.com/@davepartner
How competitive is the blog scene in Nigeria.
By: Pintel Up
Tags: Nigeria, Blogging In Nigeria

How competitive is the blog scene in Nigeria?

To understand how competitive it is to launch a blog and compete, here is a sample. I launched a website called Nigeriastack, whose goal was to disrupt the news scene in Nigeria. And after three months of designing and promoting my website with google ads, I would say I am no closer to achieving my goals as a news disruptor.

Most news websites are either an extension of their print media or Tv stations. This public advantage has allowed them to leverage their considerable public goodwill. For example, Channels news and Thisday Nigeria have very reputable TV stations; they have benefited from their TV news versions.

Other singular blogs like Legit Nigeria, which boasts the highest traffic based on Alexa.com stats, have built their followerships through hard-noded SEO tactics.

In the past, this article would have been easily top of a google search for breaking news in Nigeria, but with the level of competition, it shows up as the eighty-fifth article. Not a chance of anyone reading it.

Image courtesy: google.com
Festive Joy
By: The Kalahari Review
Tags: Igby Prize, Donald Njoaguani, Nigeria, Nonfiction, Festive Traditions

Festive Joy

Africa has always been big on traditions. Then again, it is not surprising as these traditions are what make us as Africans, unique.

I recall life as a little kid, a lad eager to learn more about life and culture in general. The first time I partook in what I now hold as a deeply rooted festive tradition, I was eleven. I had just joined the altar servers in my Catholic Parish, quite an achievement back then and it was Easter. The Parish had organised a screening of Mel Gibson’s Passion of Christ movie- a movie expressing the death, crucifixion and resurrection of the son of God. That was the first of many screenings.

Growing older, I started sourcing other adaptations of the story of Easter and watching them on my mobile phone’s screen, including adaptations that were not in the English Language. Realizing that the best adaptation was that of Mel Gibson, I formed a tradition of always watching the movie every year during Easter.

My festive tradition added an extra layer of clothing to become thicker the first time I watched the Home Alone movie.

It was the season of jingle bells and my parents had left for our hometown, leaving my sisters and me all alone in the house. I had bought a cheap high definition DVD rendition of the Home Alone movies and the first movie caught my attention. It had everything I needed to feel the spirit of Christmas — my family saw it with me and we all had a great time watching the movies. Something about the story being told in Christmas time really appealed to our senses and since that year, I nurtured a tradition of gathering Christmas-themed movies to watch with my family in December.

Traditions, as I have come to realize are not all necessarily cultural- some are born out of pure love. As a continent rich in cultural history and background, there are culture-based festive traditions that are enjoyed in Africa such as the tradition of travelling down to our hometowns during Christmas as is done in Nigeria. There are also festive traditions that have been adapted over years due to passion for the festivities like the tradition of seeing Christmas-themed movies in December practiced by my family.

The importance of these traditions cannot be overemphasized- they play a vital role in building a strong and morally upright community. Festive traditions that are also consistently practiced aid in forming strong bonds amongst those who practice them- a typical example can be seen in my family. My Christmas-themed movies bring everyone home for the holiday no matter how far away from home they are.

That is the joy of my festive tradition.
Weblog of a Nigerian Girl: Day One
By: The Emotion Diary
Tags: Diary Writing, Anxiety Relief, Nigeria, Emotional Health, Journey To Happiness

Dear Diary,

Today is the 24th day of December 2020. It’s exactly 9:30pm in Lagos, Nigeria. I must confess I feel a little strange typing this. I have never owed a diary. Online or physical. Never thought there’d be a need to own one. I made an executive decision earlier this year to try on new things. Safe to say this is one of them. 2020 has been a though year for a lot of people, and I am no exception. There has been a ton of emotion for me. Loads of sad moments. Moments that made me reflect on life and its essence. Me finding myself constantly wondering where my life is headed. Constantly questioning my essence.

I was born and raised here in Nigeria. I turned 23 last May. And there are a ton of things I had hoped to achieve before 23. Wanting to travel, explore the world and experience diversity might top my list (in this moment). I want to leave Nigeria. So badly. More than anything. Before that, a ton of things have to happen. Like make money. A lot of it. I sometimes feel like I am too hard on myself but I think not. I don’t exactly know what I will post on here but I know for sure I will rant a lot. I find myself constantly wanting to rant. I desire the freedom to rant without being judged so desperately. It often seems like everyone around me is uninterested in what I have to say. Everyone has the “stay strong and smile always” energy.

Sometimes I just want to rant and be listened to in peace. I don’t want someone comparing bad experiences like its a competition. Me: “I had an emotional breakdown yesterday”; Second Person (who is supposed to actively listen and probably try to understand why, regardless of the inexistence of a solution): “Errrrm, your own is good oh. Me that I had a mental breakdown nko?”

Everything feels hard lately. Trying to get myself to succeed at something often feels like a lot of struggle and the thought of it weighs me down. I struggle with a lot of things. It just feels ten times harder now and a lot of that might be borne out of the realization that I want to be ten times better at everything.

Let us stop here. See you next time.

Love,

The Maybe Too-Soon-To-Be-Known.
JImeds.ng – Добро пожаловать!
Tags: Medicine, Nigeria, Startup

in In Fitness And In Health
Untrapped inks of a Nigerian
Tags: Government, Nigeria, Life, Endsars, Writing

It’s either the Armed Forces and/or Bandits, Kidnappers has a gun to my and/or your heads.

Money might be exchanging hands but between me and you, our hands have not been found apt.

We are threatened to abide by a document that favours what few people want, not what 200 million people see as necessities.

As educative I try to strut, the government makes me felt like education has never been the key. You have doubts google ASUU palavas.

There are nations where the bureaucratic instinct is to help & nations where the bureaucratic instinct is to block. This is a major determinant of how well a nation does. You don’t need your Creator to send a memo to know your viewpoint. It is possible to stand firmly on falsehood but not for long.

Recently I learned that peace doesn’t entice us together, the last time we were one, it’s the sufferings that did. You may love to review the Endsars protests.

Our government doesn’t need to convince us too much when we are so easy to separate.

They would rather use their energy to convince religious leaders and Influencers how they stand to gain, how they will have their bites of power-cakes.

This country is killing young people, check out the education sector. Institutions are worsening, none of them has children there so they care less.

But since the country is almost 70 per cent youth, then young people are about to be used to kill this country.

They have already paid on social media platforms to spread fictions and destroy logics.

I pen this for all the lads that did not benefit from the Internet that their parents thought they would.

Compose this for people working who haven’t been paid in months, because States and/or Local Governments keep saying they haven’t received money for months but Federal says they are given more monies.

Inscribe this for the expectant mother who was denied access to General hospital and had to deliver outside the gate because not every citizen’s struggle gets to be on camera.

This for all the talents buried due to the negligence of the humanity of some beings.

Inscribe this because private hospitals that are well equipped will charge an arm and a leg for a headache.

For farmers with cash crops but no cash, because we killed agriculture and resurrected borrowing loans.

Because ever since this government decided corruption is a beauty, our constitution left to get some air. After all, corruption is breathtaking. For the future of our born and/or unborn children.

For the reformers that chose to reformed the police uniform just to remind us change won’t come out of the blues.

I write this for every time couple of hundreds of naira, packs of bar soaps, and a free T-shirt is a reason you voted for someone.

I wrote all these to say if these crop of leaders don’t go out, then this country is about to go down and I don’t mean like roots.