The Only Self-Help Books You Need to Read
By: Caleb Clark
Tags: Self Improvement, Self Help, Entrepreneurship, Books, Reading

The Only Self-Help Books You Need to Read

Most self-help books are garbage, but these ones can change your life

Photo by Christin Hume, available on Unsplash

Over the past two years, I’ve been on something of a bender. Not with alcohol. My college days are long behind me. No, my bender has been with self-help books.

It fluctuates every year, but I generally read around 30 books per year. It’s been a bit higher this year because of COVID, but I digress. Over the past two years, over half the books I read have been self-help books.

Everything from positive thinking to financial freedom and entrepreneurship. So what have I learned after reading what is likely over 2 million words?

Well, not a lot.

Most self-help books are not helpful at all, and the valuable ones are too long. They feel like blog posts that were stretched into books.

However, there have been a few exceptions. The best books I’ve read — business, self-help, or otherwise — have been about changing perspective and teaching yourself how to pursue your goals.

This isn’t some hokey “just think positive” crap. Books like Unfuck Yourself and How to be a Baddass try to pass off being positive as actual advice. This type of advice rings hollow to me because I’m generally pragmatic and thrive on actionable steps.

These positivity self-help books are just heaps of word vomit.

If you are looking to avoid these, and a myriad of other useless books, here are the only three self-help books you will ever need to read.

These books are insightful, not overly long, and give valuable perspective on time, happiness, and how to improve your life. No spiritualism here.

The One Thing by Gary Keller

“You need to be doing fewer things for more effect instead of doing more things with side effects.”

This list is the only three self-help books you need to read, but if I had to choose one to recommend, it would be this one.

I’ve always struggled with commitments. I would decide I wanted to do something — for example, in high school I wanted to be a filmmaker — and I would begin to relentlessly pursue it.

However, after a while I would get creeping doubts. Is this really what I wanted to be doing? What if I was making the wrong decision? I’m a good writer, so maybe I should pursue that too?

So then I started to focus more on writing short stories…and learning more about film. And then theatre. And then I wanted to be a freelance journalist. And then I wanted to become a financial expert.

All while dropping none of these.

The ONE Thing hammers home the idea of focus. You don’t have time for everything. You have time for one thing. Gary Keller offers valuable insights into reconfiguring brain from “I can do everything” to “I can do anything, but just one thing.”

One of the most notable sections of the book is on the domino effect. In short, every little action you make contributes to larger chain of reactions. Do something small, and then do another small thing, and repeat over and over and you will discover that you have accomplished a lot.

This book taught me that my one thing is writing, be it articles for Medium, my fantasy novels, or anything else. My home is in a word processor, not behind a camera or on the stage.

If you feel directionless or overwhelmed by the possibilities of your life, this is the book for you.

“Your next step is simple. You are the first domino.”

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

“To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action.”

There are a lot of really dumb self-help books. Let’s just be honest about that. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is not one of them. Where other books will tell you to think positively and good things will happen, Mark Manson takes a more candid and truthful approach.

He uses the word fuck pretty liberally, even to the point of seeming forced. However, there are a lot of valuable nuggets of truth that simply can’t be passed up.

When I started reading this book, I was in an insecure place. I constantly sought the validation of others, and I never felt “happy” because nothing seemed to make me feel that way.

Then I read this book.

There are two key takeaways.

You need to severely limit the amount of things that concern you (i.e. things you give a fuck about). Many of our lives are wasted being concerned about things that don’t really matter. You will never be “happy,” as in you will never hit a mental nirvana where there are no problems. Happiness is an internal thought process, and you define what makes you happy.

Ever since I read this book, I’ve been able to shrug off criticisms of my career path (yes, mom, writing from home makes me money), and in return I’m more confident and satisfied with my fiction, even when it is rejected or poorly received.

Being able to let go of other people’s opinions and external definitions of success has given me a new lease on life. One I thought I would never really have.

“Because when we give too many fucks, when we choose to give a fuck about everything, then we feel as though we are perpetually entitled to feel comfortable and happy at all times, that’s when life fucks us.”

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.”

I don’t really drink or smoke, nor have I been one to gamble or have affairs. However, I do have one vice that has gotten me in trouble more than anything else in life.

I am a compulsive spender.

I spent years in retail, and I mastered the art of the selling. Even then, I constantly fell for the tricks good salesmen employed, even when I knew they were doing it.

That’s because I could never resist the high I got from purchasing a new something. This is particularly true when it came to new smartphones or laptops.

Essentialism is a critical work for those who feel like they have too much, but don’t know how to cut down. And maybe it’s not just material things. Maybe you need to cut down on work or social obligations.

Like Manson’s book, Essentialism teaches the reader how to learn what really matters. And here’s a hint, almost everything in your life doesn’t matter. This book shows you how to say no to the good opportunities so you don’t miss the great ones.

If you are trying to unknot your complicated life and find the essential things in it, Greg McKean’s book is a must.