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A Little Selfish Is Good For You
Tags: Life, Relationships, Life Lessons, Emotional Intelligence, Mindfulness

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

A lot of us are raised to put others’ needs first. We grow up that way. It affects our whole life, our relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Some of us don’t know where to stop.

We end up last or left in the shadows. We end up always rooting for our colleagues instead of ourselves, or going to gatherings and activities to make someone else happy. Even calling our friends just because they would expect us to call.

I have a friend from middle school who moved away a decade ago, we had already drifted apart. I wasn’t that close to her in the first place. She calls me from time to time, she starts by reminding me how I never call her on her birthday or ever. She lives in a small town with her husband. I get it she doesn’t have a lot of friends. She’s left the chaos of the big city behind her. She’s clinging on to her high school friends. Some of us have moved on. We’ve made new friends, we have demanding jobs. We don’t want to reminisce about the friendships we formed when we were in our teens.

The pandemic has slowed down our external lives, most of us don’t need to commute anymore. We get to spend more time alone. Some of us have the luxury of a bit more Netflix, a little more time to read, to sit still, and envision our future. We only want to have quality conversations with a chosen few.

We value our alone time more than ever, we’ve cut down the clutter and noise of unnecessary encounters and forced conversations. Some of us like this newfound quiet space in our lives. We’ve become a little selfish. Some of us intend to keep it that way.
Let Life Fuck You Open: Emotional Alchemy
By: Serena V Amoroso
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Emotional Health, Mental Health Awareness, Wellness, Mental Health

What if it’s not about letting go at all.

Rather, it’s about letting 𝙄𝙉.

Letting it all in.

With full acceptance.

Saying…

Welcome to the table

I’ve been waiting for you

Here’s your glass of wine 🍷 ,

To the pain

To the pleasure

To the confusion

To the excitement

To the anger

To the ecstasy

To the fear.

Saying YES to it all.

𝙄𝙉𝙑𝙄𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 𝙄𝙉,

To dance 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 you, 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 you.

Everything is serving your evolution.

That is why it is here.

You get to choose how you experience it.

✨Will you contract or will you expand?

✨Will you let life IN?

✨Will you let life fuck you 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣?

💞Serena

@serenavamoroso

PS — learn my 4 step emotional alchemy practice in Feminine Magnetism Coaching Course. DM for info.
Happiness Can Kiss My Ass
By: Ryan Dejonghe
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Happiness, Love, Psychology

The pursuit of happiness made me want to kill myself. Literally.

I was a self-help whore. I pimped myself out to every book about happiness and self-improvement, no matter how cheap the book or how dirty the title.

I was self-diagnosed unhappy, and was seeking answers in all the wrong places.

I’m not blaming The Happiness Project for my suicidal ideations. Though, it didn’t help reading the multimillionaire author’s tale of woe of having to wake up daily to read the Wall Street Journal in front of her picture window, sipping Starbucks coffee. (Yes, that’s how the book begins.)

My depression grew via a cumulative effort of many, many authors touting their secret to happiness. Before the year 2000, there were less than a hundred books with happiness in the title. In 2012, there were over 23,000 books stamped with the word happiness. And, today, over 80,000 books are trumpeting the greatness of happiness.

It felt like if I wasn’t constantly feeling happy, then I wasn’t good enough.
This is me
By: Alice Floris
Tags: Identity, Paper Poetry, Emotional Intelligence, Micropoetry, Psychology

Thank you for reading my poem! It’s about the beauty of being vulnerable, towards oneself and others.

If you liked this, please take a look at my earlier work:
You Don’t Have To Get Over Your Insecurities — You Have To Get Through Them
By: Chandrika Bhattacharya
Tags: Life Lessons, Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Self-awareness, Psychology

It comes naturally to us to think that we need to get over our insecurities in order to be able to proceed, and in an attempt to do so, we find ourselves looking for ways to get over parts of ourselves that complete us.

We can’t get rid of something that is a part of who we are, and trying to do just that, will not work for us.

Trying to get over anything that brings you dark feelings is almost always never a solution to feel lighter.

What is the solution, then?

It is finding the strength within, to be still with what scares you;

It is developing the courage to sit with those insecurities, fears, and dark feelings;

It is creating space for allowing what you are fighting not to allow;

It is getting through what you want to get over.

Why is this the solution?

Because the only way that you can free yourself from your insecurities is by allowing them to show you that they are here to take you through;

Because what you are trying to run away from, is meant to carry you ahead;

Because you need to let yourself be with what causes you so much discomfort, so that you can begin to find comfort in its presence;

Because your insecurities are trying to show you why you shouldn’t fear them in the first place.

You see, as cliché as it sounds, the only way you can discover if those insecurities will destroy you or not, is by (Well!) going ahead and discovering;

And in order for you to discover, you have to give in to them and let them work on (and for) you;

You have to keep giving in, till it begins to draw you out;

Until you finally discover that they were never here to destroy you, but only to build you further.

While you are thinking to yourself;

“This is where I can lose everything.”

Your insecurities whisper (albeit so softly, that it’s often too easy to not hear) to you in return;

“This is where you can gain what you didn’t know you could.”

You can only get yourself to stop being afraid, if you can learn to see the truth in what the fear is trying to guide you towards.
A lesson I learned on improving my relationship with people.
By: Maple Dappa
Tags: Social Intelligence, Emotional Intelligence, Skills, Relationships

A lesson I learned on improving my relationship with people.

One important lesson I have learned in building and managing relationships is to refrain from using my experiences, perception, or popular opinion to define the people in my life.

I have friends who are not active on social media and they are just fine, living life just the way they want, it's fine.

I have female friends who are not keen about pursuing any career, they devote a major part of their time to raising the kids, their marriages aren't in shambles, they love the life they are living, it's fine.

Not everyone is keen about some grand aspiration and the likes, and it's fine.

Some just want to be social workers, not regular career chaps or entrepreneurs, and they are cool like that. It's fine.

Some are not keen about plenty money, they just want enough to get by and live comfortably on their own terms. It's fine.

I have a beloved friend and at one time, herself, her boyfriend (now husband), and myself all shared a bed in a hotel room. No stories and the usual drama, sometimes we lose beautiful relationships because we let toxic opinions and perceptions into them.

Another of my friend at one time offered me accommodation for some nights in her self-contain apartment. We shared the same small bed and there was no 'touching-body', her boyfriend then (now husband) was aware. They had such level of trust and yes, not every man has the poisonous and repulsive kind of jealousy that define a lot of relationships.

Some people are prisoners in their marriages, they can't keep or make friends even if they would like to because, they are married to people who think everyone that comes close is a threat. We use our insecurity to define and shape other people's lives.

What is my point?

Slow down with labeling people and defining them on your terms and expectations.

Bad things have happened between people who met online, but then, good things have also happened between people who met online.

So when you warn people against online connections, do not forget that people have had their lives transformed for good as well through online connections.

Sometimes we miss it, other times we hit it.

Just live and let live.

Your Co-Traveler,

Mister Maple
A Dooring
By: Mary Poindexter Mclaughlin
Tags: Poetry Sunday, Relationships, Emotional Intelligence, Self Love, Love

A Dooring

Image by PIRO4D from Pixabay

I knock

and knock again

the door so smooth and ancient

it resists me out of

a quarter century

habit

I hammer my fists

into its deaf planks,

shout my love into

its hardened varnish,

whisper open, please

beg, cry, induce guilt

I consider drastic measures:

a battering ram, hatchet, ultimatums, but

drama will get me nowhere

I imagine you on the other side

mystified by the lock installed

long before we met.

I sit with my back to the door and think:

morning may dawn

I may no longer knock,

perhaps. I think:

if I am brave,

I may walk away.

Instead, for now,

I dance my joy

just outside the door

waiting for you to remember how

to open it from the inside,

and join me
The onething you need to know anything to get in your life…..
By: Senthil Chidambaram
Tags: Emotions, Emotional Intelligence, Self Improvement, Leadership, Mental Health

The onething you need to know anything to get in your life…..

Yes…Based on True Events !

You can test this and comment if it won’t work for you..

What ever you are in the state now.. its because of what you built yourself in your imagination with Emotions..

We all knew..when things are going smooth and happy…it’s easy to be positive and happy…But we got struck when things are not in our favor ..some ecosystem like social push..hit you on your face in the name of rejections ..

Just for a moment whatever situation you are in… imagine your state of mind is #fearless…

That first emotion to reflect is #fearless …..get you out from any bad situations…OR to get whatever you want…be it any… just be fearless for that moment..(thats the only option you left/use it for any situation)

For Personal ,professional,Business , Dream, failure, Success, etc..be it any

#Emotions #Imagination are the 2 Keys get you VIP tickets for you to get anything…

You must experienced OR will experience that emotional state many times on your journey … when you get rejections, ignorances,failures,..

This onething will move you greater heights at the sametimes makes you fall down too like 2 sides knife …so with emotions you just need an #imagination like whatever the struggle you got into but all are making to reach your colorful destination finally…

The trickiest part is..its not easy at first attempt…to understand what you are ..what your potential….you have to check your Emotions behind your thoughts..

Simple technique is

#Visualize that “You achieved it…!”

Then #SelfTalk will trigger all positive vibes and make you evaluate/criticize-self and push you to be unique or creative way to try the right ways…your Blueprint for your Dream state!

Believe me…Believe in you..

Your Emotions+Imaginations will get anything !

BG pic credit: Pinterest
To be free…
By: Walid Ihadjadjen
Tags: Lifestyle, Emotional Intelligence, Life Lessons, To Be Free, Mental Health

Some of the reason why adult life can be greyer and more miserable than it should be is that our earliest years are generally made up of a prolonged and highly formative encounter with the idea of obedience.

Throughout childhood, there is little doubt that the path to maturity must involve doing a litany of substantially unpleasant things demanded of us by figures of authority whom we cannot question.

We give over our days and much of our evenings and weekends to complying with an agenda elaborated for us by people whose concern with our happiness is at best highly abstract.

walid_photographer_dz

We then become inclined to extend this attitude into our dealings with the wider world. We assume that what we particularly want should never be the important factor.

In the process, we become highly adept at rationalising our frustrations. We tell ourselves that we have no option. We have to stick with a job that we resent or a marriage that has grown stale because (we say) we need the money or our friends would be disappointed or it’s the kind of thing everyone like us has to do. We become geniuses at elaborating excuses that make our unhappiness look necessary and sane.

walid_photographer_dz

We tend to fantasise about freedom in terms of not having to work or of being able to take off on long trips. But if we dig into its core, freedom really means no longer being beholden to the expectations of others.

We may, quite freely, work very hard or stay at home during the holidays. The decisive factor is our willingness to disappoint, to upset or to disconcert others in doing so.

We don’t need to relish this — we may by nature be inclined to get on well with as many people as possible. But we can live with the idea that our central choices might not meet with general approval.
What do you need to be a leader?
By: Francisco Sáenz
Tags: Lidership, Personal Development, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership Development

So much information has been written about the skills that distinguish good leaders from bad ones…

And among so much information, what seems to be more reliable?

According to the stand out psychologist Daniel Goleman, there are 4 fundamental traits:

1. SELF-AWARENESS

This means a depth-understood of emotions, needs, and impulses of ourselves.

It’s about the way the emotions affect ourselves and others.

Someone who knows their own boundaries and skills also knows when it’s better to get involved or when it’s better to assign the task to the team.

Recognize our own capacities make us less prone to get implicated in situations where we might fail. The key is to build onto our strengths.

2. SELF-REGULATION

Our biological impulses determine our emotions. We can’t put aside them, but we can manage them.

Thus, it’s all about managing our feelings. Those who can do it are able to create an environment full of confidence where people can work in harmony and having a good performance.

That communicates integrity and confidence besides to get a drip-affect: anyone doesn’t want to look like a desperate person when the boss is famous for being quiet and assertive.

3. EMPATHY

They say:

“Empathy means walking in someone else’s shoes”

And it’s half true…

Empathy doesn’t mean to adopt the other’s emotions like own and trying to please everyone. It means to regard the feeling of others so you can make clever decisions.

The leader has to be able to notice and comprehend the points of view of everyone who take decisions with them.

This what makes the difference between a good leader to an excellent one.

4. SOCIAL CAPACITY

Social capacity is not only about a sympathy matter, but a sympathy-goals-oriented: make people move toward the direction we want to.

People with social capacity don’t see the logic behind to arbitrary limit their social relations, what they want is to set strategic connections in a wide social network.

Why is that?

Because they know that in this hyper-connected-world they might need the help of someone who is starting to know right now.

In conclusion…

The two first attributes, self-awareness and self-autoregulation, are abilities of self-management. The rest two, empathy and social-capacity, are related to interpersonal relations.

The application of these 4 qualities will contribute to get you to improve your interpersonal relations in an incredible way.

You remember that nobody lives alone in this world. And although the idea of the “lonely-genius” seems fascinating… is unlikely.

Well… Of course you can go forward by your own, but probably you won’t achieve anything very important.

It’s the knowledge of ourselves and the way we relationed with the world what make us to get far. Take this into account is the first step to stop being seen as a boss… And start to be seen as a leader.

Bibliography: Goleman, D. (2013). Liderazgo (1st ed.). Barcelona.
The “To-Don’t” List
By: Megan Minutillo
Tags: Self Discovery, Life Lessons, Emotional Intelligence, Boundaries, Self-awareness

The “To-Don’t” List

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

It’s the time of year when people start to dig deeper into list-making. They purchase planners and journals and make vision boards with pretty pictures of what they want their tomorrow to look like. They write of what they want to accomplish, places they want to visit, things they want “to-do” in the year ahead.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I love a good list. I love a good journal, too. I am a big believer in writing things down, and as much as I utilize my Google calendar, nothing will ever replace my paper planner. There’s something incredibly satisfying about crossing items off my list with a pen or pencil.

You could say that “To-Do” lists are one of my love languages.

But I recently was chatting with a friend who rejected the idea of her “To-Do” list and spoke of her “To-Don’t” list, instead. She was done doing the things that she didn’t want to do, just because other people thought she should be doing those things. Things like folding laundry. Making her children’s bed once they’re out of a crib. Cooking dinner on the weekends. Saying yes to tomatoes in a salad. Eating the cheese when her pants were too tight. Guilt about hiring help. Guilt about getting her hair cut. Carrying guilt, in general. No longer would she feel bad about having her alone time while her kids were sleeping or taking five minutes to wash the day off her face at the end of the night. No longer would she listen when the onlookers would tell her, “you need to________________” fill in the blank with whatever your brain imagines.

The “To-Don’t” List — something I had never thought of until that very moment.

Naturally, it got me thinking about my own list — what was on it? What should be on it? Was there something to add to it? Are there universal things that could be on a “To-Don’t” list? Maybe there could be.

Here’s what I came up with thus far:
3 things that keep you stuck on an emotional rollercoaster and the one and only thing you need to do to break free.
By: Kasia Kolek Msc, Ma
Tags: Emotional Wellbeing, Emotions, Emotional Intelligence, Self Love, Mindfulness

This year has not been easy for any of us. And the holiday season, in spite of all its magic, seems to add a lot of stress on top of all we have been already going through.

As a result you may feel like you’re being constantly hijacked for crazy adrenaline rides by frustration, anxiety or anger. Or, just the opposite, you may feel as if you’re submerged in honey. Every movement is an effort, there is no motivation and feel totally overwhelmed.

Whichever of these scenarios is playing out in your life right now, there is just one, brilliantly simple thing, you need to do to feel much better. (And I’m not talking a temporary relief but a long term, sustainable solution).

And this one thing is: Stop Resisting! Stop fighting!

And instead, give yourself permission to feel all of your feelings whatever they are.

Big or small. Subtle or intense. Nice or not-so-nice.

This might seem like a no-brainer. We all know that all that struggling and resisting does is to adds another layer of suffering.

Unfortunately, we often learnt quite early in life that feeling our feelings wasn’t safe and would not get us all the love and approval that we desperately needed. And we were right, at the time.

But… that was a long time ago, wasn’t it?

If you want to start doing things differently, so that you can stay in charge of your emotions, you need to stop doing these 3 things:

1. Stop dismissing your feelings as invalid and not important. Stop behaving as if they don’t matter at all or at least not as much as other people’s feelings. THEY DO MATTER. A lot.

2. Stop avoiding or running away from your feelings, as if they were more powerful than you and thus dangerous. This is never true. You are in charge here. Always.

3. Stop guilt-tripping yourself and beating yourself up for feeling the way you feel. You are not responsible for your feelings. You are only responsible for the way you handle them.

And instead, give yourself permission to feel the way you’re feeling!

I teach my clients plenty of powerful tools and techniques to help them start feeling more comfortable and at ease with all of their emotions. But for today you may start in the simplest way possible. Put your hand on your heart (this in itself releases oxytocin which calms your whole nervous system), take a deep breath in and a long breath out, and say to yourself:

‘It’s ok. It’s ok to feel what I feel. There is enough space for all of my feelings. I can handle this.”

And if you are tired of your emotions taking the best of you, let’s talk. Book a free Discovery Session on www.kasiakolek.com and let me help you create your own roadmap to calm, peace of mind and emotional balance.

One Last Thing… If you found this article helpful, please give it a few Claps so that other people can find it on Medium, too. Thank you!
HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY INSTANTLY So you’ve probably heard that happiness is contagious and…
By: Melekwe Anthony
Tags: Education, Wevoi International, Emotional Intelligence, News, Melekwe Anthony

HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY INSTANTLY







So you’ve probably heard that happiness is contagious and that when you are in a happy environment, you automatically become happy. Lies! In fact science has shown that for most people, instead of getting happy in that environment, your brain tries to figure out what everyone is laughing, smiling and giggling about.



Today it is not classified information that depressed people also come from happy homes. Ever wondered why people have different ideas of happiness? Why you don’t get as happy as you used to when something good happens to you? Sorry, we won’t go into all that today. But we could start with…



…WHAT IS HAPPINESS?



It is the state when you feel so contented and your emotions are flying ‘monkey-jimbo’. Yeah, it goes without saying there is no real definition of happiness and people and dictionaries only describe what it feels like to them. But scientists say it happens when dopamine is released by your brain. So you could be happy anytime; while watching a movie, on vacation, licking ice cream, drinking or what have you.



Regardless of your version of true happiness, living a happier, more satisfied life is within reach. A few tweaks to your regular habits can help you get there.







# SMILE



You tend to smile when you’re happy. But it’s actually a two-way street. We smile because we’re happy, and smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, which makes us happier.

That doesn’t mean you have to go around with a fake smile plastered on your face all the time. But the next time you find yourself feeling low, crack a smile and see what happens. Or try starting each morning by smiling at yourself in the mirror. It helps you avoid wrinkles and frown cracks on your face.







# EXERCISE



Now this isn’t just for your body. Regular exercise can help to reduce stress, feelings of anxiety, and symptoms of depression while boosting self-esteem and happiness.



Even a small amount of physical activity can make a difference. You don’t have to train for a triathlon or scale a cliff unless that’s what makes you happy. It also puts you in good shape to receive compliments. And who doesn’t like compliments?









# GRATITUDE



Gratitude is focusing on what you have instead of what you don’t. Gratitude is about celebrating your life and being thankful for the joy you experience. Gratitude is associated with positivity, increased well-being and improved health. So instead of thinking about all the sad things happening, try thinking of all the good things that have happened.

Happiness is good for your liver, your blood pressure, your nervous system and your heart. You could save yourself a load of medical bills in future just by being happy today.

I promise you will feel better immediately after trying these three simple steps. Feeling happy is both physically healthy and keeps you emotionally balanced.

Enjoy your happy day.
This Shouldn’t Be Offensive
By: Jonathan Mondoro
Tags: Friendship, Relationship Building, Emotional Intelligence, Life Advice, Truth And Life

It makes no sense that people get offended by this

Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

A month or so ago, I had a conversation with one of my dearest friends. I had seen something on their social media account that really didn’t sit right with me. They had posted something on their story that appeared to be a direct endorsement of a lifestyle that is a contradiction to their faith. I saw it and it immediately started feeling conflicted. After all, I knew this person very well. I cared about them so much and I never would have thought that they would say this lifestyle was a good thing when I knew the values that they had. So I debated for hours. I thought and thought about whether I should say anything or not. I decided to say something and this is how it went.

My friend got extremely hurt. They responded to me by explaining the many levels on which they took offense at the fact that I even suggested they supported what I had accused them of. They explained that I had misunderstood what they had said and that they indeed would not have ever supported that lifestyle. At the end of the response, my friend essentially told me to butt out and that I need not feel responsible for keeping them in check morally or otherwise.

I was devastated. It had never been my intention to offend them in any way and I certainly did not envision the level at which they took offense. I could not figure it out. I understood that my friend was hurt at the fact that I had even suggested that they would support that lifestyle because this would be a direct contradiction to their faith. I cannot tell you how this haunted me. I began to think for long hours, trying to understand their position and the amount of pain I had caused, trying to understand if I really had acted like a jerk by suggesting they had betrayed their morals. I thought and thought, and I kept gravitating towards this question.

“Why was my friend mad at me for following the evidence I saw as well as I could?”

This was the only question I had. Allow me to demonstrate what I mean with a similar example.
The Art Of the Shrug
By: Nanda Jurela
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Coexistence, Attraction, Nonverbal Communication, Assessment

I admire women who have perfected the art of the shrug. It is the right response to so many things (I won’t list them; I am leaving that to your imagination), nonverbally powerful:

neither fighting the information coming your way, nor faking fascination.

I only observe it in people who are real and want to be known as they are.

The shrug communicates: “There is not enough energy in here. Let’s move on to something more captivating, something more on my wave length.”

The difference between tolerance and thrill may be lost on many, but may it never be lost on you!

18 November 2016

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Artwork by Kristina Laurendi Havens. Visit her @ http://www.krystyna81.com/

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Also published on my blog:
How to Choose a Romantic Partner
By: Anmol Kohli
Tags: Relationships, Emotional Intelligence, Romantic Skills, Romantic Competancy, Equipped

I personally feel we are taught nothing about the right skills and competancies. To have a successful relationship, there are three important things needed.

Awareness of Self: This includes all past traumas, triggers and behavioral patterns. Learning what you enjoy and what you don’t. Most importantly knowing why you do things you do. Knowing how competent you are and what areas would you need assistance in.

Ability to Communicate: Partnerships are always functional and fulfilling if we know how to teach and learn. No one in the world is going to guess what upsets you exactly the way you want them to guess. A shorter, simpler and only logical route is to tell them. Communicate clearly. Developing an ability to communicate well without triggering emotionally charged responses is an art. You teach the other person how to treat you. And you communicate how you are learning from them. This aspect is very important.

Ability to Identify: Romantic relationship is innately supposed to be the closest long term investment of your whole personality. No matter if it is a healthy or an unhealthy relationship, it is going to have an impact on all human domains. Psychological, physical, emotional, mental and even financial. So choose wisely. But how to choose? We often choose our partners because they have something that we believe is attractive. It could be a fit for some time. But may not be forever. Or in situations of conflicts. We often tend to find a missing self in the other person. Once we attain that self within ourselves, we feel satisfied. But then the danger is incase we discover a further need of another part of our self. We might load the expectations on our partners. And incase they don’t fulfill it, we may look out for other partners. The good plan here can be improving the identification skills. Identify the person based on their romantic competancies. How are they in friendships? Are they hideous? Are they respectful? How do they behave during conflicts? How do they tackle an unfamiliar problem? Look out for red flags actively. Create an emotionally free outlook of their persona. Identifying a romantically competent person is the most important stage. Because this lays the foundation of that part of relationship which is going to be out of your control. The other person’s behaviour. The only thing you can control is to make a choice. If the foundation is strong, you know your investments won’t go wrong.
Why Nostalgia Clouds Our Judgment
By: Scott Monty
Tags: Storytelling, Leadership, Communication, Emotional Intelligence

Nostalgia is something of a false prophet. It feeds us powerful visions: memories of a glorious experience of the past-something that makes us long to relive it, like a first visit to a favorite location or a first viewing of a classic film.

Yet we can never reclaim it.

Therein lies the deceptive power of nostalgia. It’s able to create a deep and meaningful feeling within us, but it’s not the same as delivering an experience.

Especially at the holidays, when our playful memories serve up visions of sugarplums, snow angels, and laughter around the fireplace.

But it isn’t quite powerful enough to inoculate us from the cold reality of recycled fruitcake, scraping ice off of windshields, and the rising voices of family squabbles.

Why do we go on believing in the romance of the past?

Nostalgia is defined as “a wistful yearning for a return to some past period or irrecoverable condition.”

It’s a feeling that wraps around us like a favorite sweater or a particularly enjoyable food from our childhood. The result is a sense of warmth and comfort (hence the term “comfort food”).

Incidentally, comfort foods don’t contain any magic elixir or healing properties; it’s the very memory of them that acts as a gentle salve for our troubled minds. They bring us a sense of belonging.

And really, isn’t that just what anyone wants? To belong.

Whether it’s a friend, family member, or an employee on your team, we all want to feel as if we’ve found the proper place in the world, that we’re useful to others, and that we’re appreciated.
3 Simple Steps to Resolve Conflict
By: Curt Jordan
Tags: Parenting, Conflict Resolution, Emotional Intelligence, Listening, Children

Hello everybody. My name is Curt Jordan. I’m the founder of Kong Academy. A place for kids to thrive.

This morning, there was an argument between Lucas and Danny, my partner’s sons. They were arguing about the fact that one of them was kicking a ball against a wall and how this was bothering his brother. The discussion quickly got heated and looked like it might get out of hand. Not really what we had in mind for a Sunday morning … so we decided to sit down and practice an important skill:

Conflict Resolution

A lot of times when kids (and let’s face it, it’s not only kids!) argue, they just want to “win” and say whatever necessary to prove the other one wrong. The first step is to make sure both get a turn to tell the story or issue from their point of view WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED. They have to understand that if they listen to the other one all the way to the end without interrupting them, it not only shows respect but they also get the opportunity to tell the story from their point of view without being interrupted and they learn something from the other person. And often it is something they didn’t even think about, and sometimes that’s where the argument ends. Often kids are really surprised to hear the story from the other person’s point of view, because it brings up points that never even crossed their mind.

After both sides exchange their version of the story, as a second step, they both get to decide what they want to get out of it. What do they want to happen as opposed to what is happening right now? They both get to describe their ideal outcome that best serves their interests and maybe even why they wish for that outcome. The last step is negotiating how to arrive at that ideal outcome and what each party can contribute in order to make it happen.

So we got to work on that this morning and it was actually really enjoyable. The best part is: it really works. The boys were exchanging information and were negotiating instead of trying to put the other one down and “win” the situation. It was great to see.

Summary of the three simple steps:
An Eternal Love Affair
By: Nikhil Suri
Tags: God, Emotional Intelligence, Spirituality, Beautiful, Love

Photo from JumpStory

Why don’t we believe you when you say you’ll take care of us?

Why do we doubt you when you tell us this is just a game?

Why don’t we smile when you insist there is no reason not to?

Why don’t we just accept your overflowing love when every breath says I am because You are.

Does a mother love her kids any less whether they win or lose a game in the park?

Do the kids insist that she doesn’t love them because the rules meant that at least someone was going to lose?

Or while playing when they fall, do they stop playing or play harder?

Knowing very well, that at the end of the day, mother will be there, with food ready for all.

Love is your essence,

Love is who you are,

Everywhere I see love,

I see only you standing.

What stops us then to believe in this love?

The little rules of the game?

Of what significance are they?

What do they matter,

When our little time here is done.

But you ARE

You WERE

And You WILL Be

And so will I…

Ever happy in your embrace.
Just Decide!
By: Master The Moment
Tags: Emotional Eating, Emotional Intelligence, Mindset, Eating Disorders, Diet

As a deeply emotional eater, every thought of every day is guided by what I am going to take in next! Today is my first post, aha, thank you Russell Brunson~ finally, a way to express myself without being on video, Phew! How harshly we self-judge our appearance, thus Facebook is not any fun! I spent the last three decades coming to grips with being an emotional eater. Since college I poured myself into learning as much as I could about the human body, exercise, and physiology (how your body works) It was fascinating and I came to the conclusion that our body is a machine that we alone control. That in itself is empowering! I chose to Decide that I would re-channel my intense connection to food towards making micro-progress each 24 hours. Being an emotional eater is only debilitating if you say it is. Instead Just Decide that you will admit that your body is a fascinating machine and the best part is that your body cannot not react to your micro-progress. Down to the cellular level, it’s the truth! No matter what you took in during your last 24 hours, your body is waiting with bated breath for your next choice and your body will respond precisely. To me it’s a fascinating journey when you just DECIDE to grasp that you get to choose what to take in or not take in — in your very next 24 hours. The best part of all is that by mastering this moment, your body, your own glorious machine, will be better off 24 hours from now than you were 24 hours ago. Just Decide!
Authentic spiritual growth and self-righteousness
By: Janat Bukenova
Tags: Spiritual Growth, Emotional Intelligence, Sanctimonious, Self Righteousness, Holding Space

What are some of the possible solutions to continue with true spiritual and emotional growth?

1. It is necessary to detach yourself from your… achievements. Yes, it has been your hard work that got you places, and yet it is divine collective energy that has led you. Recognize that you are part of a more powerful mechanism at play, you are a vibrational speck, and your knowledge of the Universe is very limited. No achievement and progress are yours and yours only.

2. Detach your personal experience from the experience of others. Yes, you have been encountering people whose life stories resonate deeply with yours in some inexplicable ways. Yes, you wish with all your heart (and that can be a genuine, applaudable desire!) to help others by showing them precisely what you have done and achieved. But as unique as anyone’s fingerprints, every single person’s life experience is unique, too. By default, by simple logic — you cannot possibly relate to everything the other has to tell you. Nor can they. At this stage, it is paramount to notice the difference between your life path and that of others and give space to your not-knowing. You simply cannot know all the angles and all the life labyrinths that exist on this planet. Acknowledge this absence of knowledge.

3. Find courage. Yes, courage. Courage to make space for that what you do not know. While acknowledging is a vital step, but more so a transitional one. The real spiritual work comes in when you need to make space. And it is not about understanding! Get to know the difference. You don’t need to understand everything and everyone. You need to make space for their story. A safe, non-judgemental space for their story to be and to unfold as it wants to.

4. Teach yourself to bask in that beautiful space. Do not try to escape it nor to shorten your stay. That way, your old pattern of attunement to the suffering of others will slowly but surely dwindle and become a barely visible pathway in your brain. Even if someone’s story seems sad, the fact that you and they have mutually participated in creating the wondrous safe space for feelings, emotional states and vulnerability- that is a success. Success to be noticed, success to be proud of. Stay here for now.

There are no levels of spiritual growth. There are natural seasons to it. Just like winter, spring, summer, and autumn seasons. Much like life/death/life cycle. And we are here to learn to follow those spiritual seasons and learn to trust the unknown, recognizing our imperfect, limited knowledge about the matter of things, and opening our hearts and minds to the myriad of possibilities. In that openness lies freedom. Therein resides true great spirit.
The Importance of Conversations
By: Chloe Mesick
Tags: Conversations, Emotional Intelligence, Trust, Communication, Collaboration

I had no idea what to expect when I started my graduate school classes in September, I was very excited, but also very nervous. This was a complete switch for me compared to the work I have been doing and what I studied in my undergraduate program.

In this Collaborative Development class we have had so many good conversations, our topic often turns into one or several more topics. I have learned so much from not only the professor, but also from my peers. Having this class in 2020 made the experience completely different than it might have been any other year. This year lead to talks about racial equality, having difficult conversations, police brutality, conflict resolution within group settings and so much more. It was so useful to me to hear how other people handle conflict resolution and having the difficult conversations. I have been a leader in workplaces and plan to have one or more businesses some day in the future, so I love to hear from as many people as possible how they like to approach these situations. This class was setup in a way that made me personally feel comfortable sharing opinions and personal examples, I think many of my classmates did too. This is so important when your program is small and you will continue to work with these people until at least graduation, if not longer. I like knowing how my peers and teammates like to communicate and work because it means we can get past the awkward parts of group work faster and start creating sooner.

I have had many jobs where I feel like I cannot have a conversation with my leader and I often turn to my peers to converse about how I am feeling. I have learned the hard way that this can come back to show you in a negative light because the more mouths that relay what you said, the more things change, get added or lose context. It is my hope that coming out of 2020 we can all go out and be leaders who encourage conversation, even when it is difficult, painful, awkward or something that we know very little about. I have met resistance when I have tried to talk about issues with others at work, or when I have tried to ask for more information to understand another person or another situation better. This can be hard to handle sometimes, but knowing that I made the effort and did everything I could to communicate makes me feel like I am improving upon my emotional intelligence level and that I cam becoming a better collaborator all around. Communication is key to collaboration, empathy and to being an emotionally intelligent person, this class has given me the skills to try and improve upon the communication in my existing work environments and to create an environment of open communication in my future opportunities.

In my line of work it is crucial for people to trust me, I hope that by practicing what I learned here, i can build a strong foundation for my clients and customers to lay their trust upon and feel safe.
Living in alignment with soul: Acknowledging depth and wild-truth.
By: Sarah Martinus
Tags: Shamanism, Abundance, Emotional Intelligence, Depth Psychology, Soul

ACKNOWLEDGING DEPTH

In most of western society there is a taboo about speaking about soul. Even I feel very cautious about using the word publicly.

Speaking of ‘the soul’ can, in many contexts of our lives, activate judgements of ‘over-indulgence’ and ‘over-sensitivity’, as if it would be selfish or narcissistic to acknowledge the presence of a depth within ourselves.

It can feel as if it would be exposing something way too vulnerable within ourselves to acknowledge, or perhaps too big, too messy — that we have connection to something deeper and larger, operating on wild-truth, threatening to expose our true nature, as both animalistic and god-filled beings, simultaneously.

But when we acknowledge a depth within us, we allow others to acknowledge the depth in themselves. This is the only way that acknowledging depth in our society will be reignited.
The Sad Truth About Loving An Emotionally Insensitive Partner
By: Joshua Idegbere
Tags: Relationships, Emotional Intelligence, Advice, Love, Mental Health

The 3 Rules to Ending Frustration In A Relationship With Emotionally Insensitive Partner.

Rule 1: Find out if the love is actually there.

I ask if she truly loved me. She said yes. According to her, if she didn’t, she would have turned down my request to date her.

You need to confirm the love. Ask your partner if he or she loves you. It is a simple yes and no question.

It is so important that even Jesus Christ asked Peter, his disciple:

“Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” — Jesus Christ.

Rule 2: Tell him/her exactly how you feel.

I told my ex I couldn’t feel her love.

Like some people, your partner is probably unaware of their shortcomings in showing you love. So let him into that reality. If he doesn’t know, he will see no reason to improve.

It is unwise to be satisfied that your partner loves you simply because they said so.

True love is felt, not heard. It is not just in words, actions justify love by making it felt. If you can’t feel it, chances are it is not there.

Rule 3: Ask him if he is willing to change. And then take the corresponding action.

If your partner guarantees that he is going to work on it, it shows that he values you in his life. Then you both should work out things.

If he is indifferent and defensive, quit the relationship. It is for your good. You can be friends, but that is not the partner to spend the rest of your life with.

Cry if you may but never forget this: A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

Break up and move on. It shows how much you love your life.
One day, I asked my 6-year-old son: "Do you love me?"
By: Bingz Huang
Tags: Gentleness, Emotional Intelligence, Energy, Human Design Chart, Human Design

One day, I asked my 6-year-old son: "Do you love me?"

He said honestly, "I don't know! It depends on what I'm feeling at that time."

At first, I felt upset, then I realized why he said that.

My son has a defined Emotional Solar Plexus (ESP) with extremely high and low moods occurring on a regular basis. Sometimes his heart is bursting with love for me, and at other times he can go super aggressive and hates everyone on earth, even his mom.

In contrast, I am open in my ESP. I usually feel at peace with myself whenever I can be alone and discharge emotional energies from others. When I’m with him, I can ride on his intense love and hate at different times in his moods too.

Understanding how we process emotions differently makes me feel compassion for our relationship.
What are you reading?
By: Andrea Paola
Tags: Reading, Management, Motivation, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership

What are you reading?

What and how to read your way to the top. Plus, notes on how to take care of your employee’s EQ. Andrea Paola Follow Dec 6, 2020 · 2 min read

Reading is a habit encouraged by our surroundings from the moment we’re born. Like it or not, we have to do it for the rest of our lives. For leaders and managers, building a reading habit is a must. Reading regularly has helped me stay up-to-date with the best information in the world, and that ends up getting reflected in my work. But have we actually been taught how to read? Were we ever taught what to read to get us closer to our goals?

In this issue, I want to give you some tools to make your reading more efficient. They’ve worked wonders for me — I’ve made myself a better reader, leader and person by reading the best books about leadership and taking notes in a meaningful way. Hope you enjoy it and happy reading!

Steve
The 9 Types Of Intelligence
By: Anna Prášilová
Tags: Emotional Intelligence, Intelligence, Linguistics, Brain, Howard Gardner

The 9 Types Of Intelligence

Photo by Tamara Gak on Unsplash

Howard Gardener, a psychologist and professor at Harvard University came up with the concept of multiple intelligences. He believed that the IQ itself is not all-telling and that it doesn’t reveal the full scope of a person’s potential, strengths and abilities. He introduced this theory to the world in his book Frames of Mind in 1983.

Simply put, not scoring as high on an IQ test, which is primarily directed to logical problem solving, doesn’t have to mean you’re not intelligent. Just as we all have varying personalities, we all have a different type of intelligence which is usually in close relation to our interests.

To find out which is your type, try giving the suggested activities a try and see which are most up your alley and come to you with the most ease.