Nana 101
By: Ann Litts
Tags: Life Lessons, Love, Grandmother, Self-awareness, Life

Photo by Sebastian Pichler on Unsplashgran

They say its different when you’re a grandparent. Things take on a new perspective when it’s a grandchild you’re looking at rather than your own kiddo.

“They” are 100% correct.

Here are just a few of the things I’ve noticed in my time as a grandmother:

#1. Age/Time — I’m no longer in a hurry. As a parent, I had places to go, people to see/things to do. We had a schedule and an agenda — dammit! Where did all that precious time evaporate to? Thirty years have gone in a heartbeat! And now I’m with my grandchildren. We play, we color, we swing, we smell roses. I find the time to just be. These moments will slide by so fast it will catch my breath and bring tears to my eyes. So — I know how this story ends. I savor each second, because I may not get to see how the whole thing plays out.

#2. Listening Ears — I have put my listening ears on. I did my own children the disservice of treating them like children. Not people. With my grandchildren, time has played an ironic trick on me. I ‘remember’ my own childhood much clearer these days. The frustrations of not being heard, of having to follow someone else’s timetable, and of never getting to do what I wanted to do in the way, shape, manner I thought was the most brilliant. So these days — I do my best to hear them out. And also to help them make their days all ‘good’ days.

#3. Love — I thought I loved my kids, and I did/do, make no mistake. But The Magical Creatures tapped a well of feeling inside of me I never imagined existed. This is the love that is the sacred promise The Divine makes to us — The Rainbow love which speaks the words — “The World should go on”. We produce our own children, but when our children have children there is a shift. Our world becomes so much larger. We care deeper about all things that touch them. It is the love we hold for our children, doubled down.

#4. Patience — I can wait it out. Whatever the ‘it’ is. Whatever request I might have made, or thing that needs to be done — it absolutely does NOT need to be done right this second. I can relinquish control of the moment. I am willing to negotiate. I seek peace and joy and calm and resolution. I am going for the win/win, not the conquest these days. I am not the overt alpha with my grandchildren. We are a team.

#5. Lead by example — I want my grandchildren to be respectful to each other and the adults they love. I want them to have firm boundaries. So that’s the way I behave. In regards to my own person. And to theirs.

#6. Take nothing personally — It’s not about my cooking. It’s not about my ability to parent. It’s not about my rules. It’s not about me at all. Let that sink in. And say it with me. It’s not about me at all. When a child is frustrated and throwing a temper tantrum — it has not one damn thing to do with you. You could be standing there offering them their most favorite thing on the planet and they will still scream at you about what is wrong with the scenario. Because it’s not about you. It’s about them. Their feelings, their internal landscape, their world. You are just passing through. And dammit — they are going to scream because — they just are. They are learning to be humans. A lot of adults never did get past this stage. So — I’m happy to let them learn.

#7. Not everyone gets to do this thing I am doing — I am blessed beyond measure to have grandchildren. Have grandchildren that know me. Have grandchildren close enough to visit often. Have grandchildren that love me and want to hang out with me. Have a daughter and son in law who think it’s ok for the four of us to be alone together — ON OUR OWN — without adult supervision. Wowza!!!

Namaste