When You Are Heartbroken, Remember This — Love Lies in You.
By: Nitin Dangwal
Tags: Relationship Advice, Relationships, Relationships Love Dating, Relationship Building, Love

When You Are Heartbroken, Remember This — Love Lies in You.

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

When I experienced my first heartbreak in high school, what troubled me more than the abysmal feeling one feels in heartbreak was the fear that I may never feel this kind of love ever again. So strongly I believed (naively, obviously) that you get one shot in life when it comes to true love that I thought having squandered it now, I’ll never get a second chance at true love again.

But it didn’t take me long to realize how wrong my thinking was when six months after I joined college, I fell in love again with double the intensity, double the fever of love. But this time, things turned out to be even worse. Not only she didn’t like me, but for some reason, she hated my guts so much that she attacked my any attempt even to befriend her with total finality.

Again I was left heartbroken; again I thought that I was very fortunate to have got a second chance in love and now this chance, too, gone there was no way I would get a third chance again, that not again the blessing of love would dawn upon me.

But contrary to my beliefs, I turned out to be wrong again. I did get a third chance, and then when it too failed, I got the fourth chance, and by the time I finally got a chance to have a blessed love and get married to her, I had been spurned more than half a dozen times in love.

And these experiences gave me a different perspective on love, which is often missing in the discussions about love. That even though the kind of person has an important bearing on our falling in love (we can’t love everyone), the inherent capacity to fall in love lies within us. In fact, this so romanticized event of ‘falling in love’ is more about us than the other person.

Some of us are more prone to feel this feeling of falling in love. Even after falling and failing in love, again and again, some of us don’t lose hope in love. For us falling in love is not merely an idea attached to a person or thing but a state of mind, a way of living that rests within us.

That doesn’t mean that you jump into a relationship with a parachute on, ready to give up at the first hiccup you get in a relationship, comfortable in the belief that you will again fall in love, so why bother. No, I didn’t mean that. In fact, one of the indicators of the strength of your love is how much ‘total’ is your love for the other person, without re-consideration.

What I’m trying to say that love is not like some rare Halley’s Comet event that you can witness only once or twice in your life. The capacity to love is forever shining upon you, within the deepest recesses of your heart. Yes, at times there will be clouds, and the world will feel loveless, and you will feel dejected and dreary, your days doleful and disappointed.

But, sooner or later, the clouds will part away and, the blue sky will appear again and, the sun of love will shine on your life. At that time the choice is yours — stay closed thinking what you have lost is eternal, or start realising this fact that more than the others, this 'love' is about you, and if you learn to see this love within yourself, unearth its light and warmth, you can never be without love.