Perfectionism. When procrastination is a byproduct.
By: Alexandra Martin
Tags: Productivity, Perfectionism, Personal Narrative, Procrastination, Self Change

In terms of motivation, procrastination is deeply emotional. It shows a lack of willpower caused by decision fatigue. When you are low on mental energy because of all the choices you had to make throughout the day or week, your brain will want to stop depleting its willpower in two ways. You will either act impulsively or do nothing at all.

Instead of making that tough phone call you’ve been avoiding, you’ll spontaneously call a friend to catch up. Or, you’ll mindlessly scroll through your social media feed for hours, mentally postponing making the call. Either way, you will feel mentally drained.

From a clinical psychology perspective, procrastination is often associated with anxiety, depression, and stress, but it is not a mental health issue in itself.

PERFECTIONISM

My mental picture for the 3rd stage: Mozart’s midnight creative bursts.

That moment when you are in the zone and you feel like a mad genius. (Kudos to Joe Sparrow for the awesome animation!)

Imagine you’re a composer, and the evening before the performance you are out drinking with your friends. With growing concern on their faces, your friends remind you that you haven’t yet finished writing the introduction to your opera. You are amused by their anxious concern, and keep on drinking. You get home, and you start working on the piece at near midnight. But because you’ve been drinking, you ask your spouse to keep you company so you don’t fall asleep. Still, you doze off till 5 a.m. but somehow manage to finish it by 7 a.m. to send it to the copyist.

This is a true story. In the wee hours of 29 October 1787, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart would compose the overture for Don Giovanni, one of Mozart’s masterpieces and one of the greatest operas of all time. Mozart was both a musical maestro and a master procrastinator.

He missed deadlines or finished his commissions only partially. He would submit his works in the nick of time leaving little time for copyists to process his work. As a rule, his compositions were written as close to the deadline as possible.

His father told him off in a letter on December 11, 1777, “If you will examine your conscience closely, you will find that procrastination is your besetting sin” (Life of Mozart vol. 2, by Otto Jahn).

Fixed deadlines

That’s not to say Mozart was lazy. He even excused himself, “Believe me, I do not love idleness, but rather work” (May 26, 1781). A prolific composer, he wrote 626 pieces over 30 years, all while performing abroad and tutoring music students. What helped him greatly in his creative pursuits was having fixed deadlines set by his clients (counts, royals, friends, and even his pupils).

But Mozart was averse to writing, not composing. It was written in haste, not composed in haste. He explains his reluctance to write, stressing that his ideas were not ready to be put on paper. He had perfect pitch and an eidetic memory, so a lot of his compositions were naturally polished in his mind, not on paper.

Obviously, we are not creative geniuses like Mozart. But we too take great pride in our work, and we want it to be flawless. We churn ideas in our heads, and even though our ideas are solid, we still feel the need to work on them just a bit longer until they are perfect. We’ve got plenty of time, right?

It probably happened to you: you’re full of ideas and enthusiasm about your project. In your mind, you know exactly what you want to achieve and you can’t wait to put in the work and flesh them out. But you somehow delay starting to work on the project because you can’t just write something average. You are then plagued by self-doubt, discouragement, and mental exhaustion.

Point in case, my 80-page Bachelor’s thesis written in 2 weeks or Tim Urban’s 90-page thesis, which he wrote in 3 days. Now, that’s a panic-inducing deadline:

A witty take on the nerve-racking effects of procrastination.

Procrastinating perfectionists tend to be self-critical, drowning in a whirlpool of self-deprecating thoughts, questioning whether they’ve got what it takes. If only they shared their progress or struggles with others, they would perform much better with less stress.

But that’s the thing, perfectionists and/or procrastinators rarely want to share their work in progress because it’s not yet polished. They personally don’t like it, so they assume others would hate it, too.

This sneaky cognitive distortion is called “mind reading”. It’s when you think you know what other people are thinking. You assume they’ll think you’re incompetent or a fraud. Yes, you’ve guessed it, mind reading is an offshoot of the impostor syndrome.

Stakeholder input

Coming back to Mozart. Besides fixed deadlines, he too understood that stakeholder input and feedback mattered. “He had procrastinated and thrown away his time after his usual habit, until now he is forced to set to work in earnest, in compliance with Count Rosenberg’s commands” (November 11, 1785).

In hindsight, I wish I had done that. The truth is, I over-researched my subject matter. The paper had double the necessary word count. The scope of the paper was way too wide. Had I checked in with my supervisor I would have had a not-so-traumatic experience.

Check-in with your supervisor or project leader, submit outlines and earlier drafts, or at least an informal report. Chat about what you’re working on, and agree on doable milestones.

I remember sprinting through the campus to submit my thesis 15 minutes before the deadline (and sleeping 26 hours afterwards). That’s when I told myself, “This won’t ever happen again”.

Because I had set unattainable research aims, even though my BA thesis received its recognition, I wasn’t satisfied with it. The pursuit of perfection is like climbing a ladder that has no end.

What worked?

My thesis supervisor’s word of advice . “Alexa, good on you for finishing it! But be careful, you might not be able to pull it off in time in the future”… Her words haunt me to this day, which is awesome! Because those words still keep me in check 6 years later.

. “Alexa, good on you for finishing it! But be careful, you might not be able to pull it off in time in the future”… Her words haunt me to this day, which is awesome! Because those words still keep me in check 6 years later. Setting granular tasks . What I mean by granularity: tailoring tiny-sized tasks that I could achieve in one Pomodoro session. My task list was absurd: write 100 words — times a hundred. But hey, it worked for me. I also had a rough checklist of the specialized literature, topics, concepts, and examples to cover.

. What I mean by granularity: tailoring tiny-sized tasks that I could achieve in one Pomodoro session. My task list was absurd: write 100 words — times a hundred. But hey, it worked for me. I also had a rough checklist of the specialized literature, topics, concepts, and examples to cover. Hermit-style work (isolation) . I canceled all my plans and self-isolated before this was even a part of our collective memory of COVID-19. A new, limiting environment, with no distractions was an immensely effective strategy for a social butterfly like myself. The key is to be in a place in which you can only do one of two things — either work on your task or stare at the blank walls. I find long train rides also productive.

. I canceled all my plans and self-isolated before this was even a part of our collective memory of COVID-19. A new, limiting environment, with no distractions was an immensely effective strategy for a social butterfly like myself. The key is to be in a place in which you can only do one of two things — either work on your task or stare at the blank walls. I find long train rides also productive. Eliminating distractions . Switch off notifications, or leave your phone in another room. Use web extensions to block social media apps.

. Switch off notifications, or leave your phone in another room. Use web extensions to block social media apps. Change of perspective. Understand the absurdity of perfection: it’s not satisfied with itself. There will always be a new height, you will always want to do more and do better.

It feels great when you get positive feedback, right? So, check-in with your supervisor early on. (Kudos to Joe Sparrow for the awesome animation!)

What I wish I’d known then

By all means, just finish it. Done is better than (Still) In progress. Postponing the task won’t lift the burden — getting it done will. Plus, chances are you’re already working to a high standard, so stop giving yourself a hard time.

I wish I’d known that I was unconsciously engaging in self-handicapping behavior. This behavior tries to protect self-esteem by finding external sources (procrastination in this case) to blame for possible failures.

When it’s successful, it’s a kind of humble brag — “Ah, look at that, I started working on that paper 3 hours before the deadline and got an A. I could’ve gotten an A+ had I put in more time…”

When it doesn’t go so well, it’s a lame excuse — “Ah, look at that, I got a C- because I had only 3 hours before the deadline. I could’ve totally aced it if I had more time…”

Now, whenever I am tempted to make such excuses, I try to tell others, but mostly to myself: