The last 20 of 2020
By: Kushagra Jajoo
Tags: 2020, Thankfulness, Gratefulness, Lists, Gratitude

We made this number and now we are abusing it for f***ing us. Not the first time we did something like this and probably not the last. After all, we are in the habit of abusing our own constructs a lot. And many a time it’s needed. But only this time I feel it has wrongly become the recipient of our collective hate and stress. We needed a target and it became one.

Photo by Jan Baborák on Unsplash

Anyway, this is it. The number which has been condemned and dreaded so much is at long last in its final days.

However, our problems? Not so much. But that’s not what we are going to talk about today.

What we are going to do is make a list. A list of (our much-beloved) 20 things. It will most probably be things I am grateful for and maybe things which I did and which make me cringe and embarrassed.

Today — the 20th of December 2020 — makes it 20 days since I last posted. I honestly didn’t want to take this break but it happened. And it lasted longer than it should have like a certain something. 20 is the age at which we all do or have done some stupid shit. And for some of us, this age never goes away. Awful, I know. I don’t even need a certain age to do stupid shit. I have been doing it and will probably continue to do so. Age is any way just a number, right? I will now take the time to be grateful for a few things. Firstly, all my friends and family. The people around me and who have been with me. These people have been so nice and good to me and I don’t know what I did to deserve them. So thank you for being there. Secondly, this life. I chose the people dear to me first because what is life without people? We need people as much as we need ourselves. We want people as much as we should ourselves. And also, even though I am grateful for my life, I still have got quite a few bones to pick with it. Convenience. I am grateful for all the convenience I have. The good food, shelter, clothes, clean water, everything. I think we take the convenience we have sometimes too lightly. For example, running water. Our days would stop without water coming out of our taps. This is serious. This age and this time. I don’t think I would have fared well in the time that has long passed us. And that is an optimistic understatement. So yeah, being able to sit here and type and pen away is a gift I will forever be grateful for. This sloppy, clumsy, disgusting and imperfectly perfect human body. Stress on sloppy, clumsy, disgusting, imperfectly perfect, human and body. It is just so unique, weird and cute all at the same time. We have got to love it more. We have got to love ourselves more. My phone and laptop. God, I am so dependent on them. Should probably change the word to addicted but meh. My experiences. I can’t say I have made complete peace with them. Sometimes I feel I have. Sometimes I feel I haven’t. What I can say is that I am learning and that I am in a much better place mentally, physically, spiritually, metaphorically, philosophically, metaphysically, emotionally. Ok, I am done. Stories. In any form, shape, size or colour. I love stories. Stories make us and we make stories. They come with us and we come with them. My bed and blanket. They deserve the special mention at the eleventh hour. They not only let me lie on them but they also have my snot, my tears and my farts. They have seen me at my worst and well, worst (I haven’t been at my best yet is what I think. Although I have been better. So yep :)) They have seen it all. The good, the bad and everything in the middle and outside. And they have accepted me for it. Number 12 brings us to chances and opportunities. Just having them and getting to try my hand at things is amazing. I don’t realize the gravity of it often or probably not at all which is what makes me all the more grateful for it. The INTERNET. I don’t know what I would do without it. You know how you meet someone and then you realize, ‘where were you all my life??’. That’s the internet for me. It’s probably even more. Clean bathrooms. And I have been to really bad ones. A shit show would be literally glorifying it. It made me realize the worth of a good bathroom. What can you even do if you can’t shit in peace? It won’t even come out and then you will be releasing gas all day and it’s a whole fest. We’ll talk more about this in a separate piece. So yes. Please treasure your good bathrooms. Fresh air. This is so needed especially today. Because there was a time when I walked out of my room and into the balcony in the morning to get some fresh air in and all I got was smoke which is so not cool. Thankfully, I am in a good place now. The sun and its warmth. Well, we are probably trapping too much of it in the atmosphere so that’s worrying. Let’s put at least a little more effort in working towards a healthier and sustainable future, shall we? I am grateful for being able to play football. Actually, being able to do anything for that matter. So yeah. Comfort. Even though we all keep seeing the ‘get out of your comfort zone’ line everywhere, we can’t deny the comfort our comfort brings us. So let’s be a little more grateful for it, shall we? Time. We should be grateful for the time we have. No? It is an exhaustible resource and it’s running out. So tell whatever you want to tell lest it all slips away. You all. I love you all sooo much and am so grateful and thankful for your time and energy. I can’t say it enough. I just love you all so so much.

Just to take note, there is not really much order in this list so please do not go by the numbers. All I wanted to do was write 20 things and this is what I settled on last minute (as usual lol). I would love it if you could add more.

Also, while writing this I have realized my writing is really sloppy, clumsy, cringy, imperfect, weird and human. I make a tonne of mistakes at the least and learn even more.

Now before you head out and into the holiday and new year, take this parcel full of love and best wishes with you. It also has a note saying ‘This holiday, be more human.’ What I mean is make mistakes and learn. This will also give you things to laugh about. Hopefully.