Bearskins and Buck Shot
By: Jimmywayne Ford
Tags: Hunting, Humor, Funny, Fiction, Short Story

Short Story

Bearskins and Buck Shot

huntin’ trip

Photo by Andre Tan on Unsplash

Did I ever tell you the story of the time I went bear huntin’? No, well, here’s what happened.

If you ever read some of my other stories, then you know I don’t like guns and I don’t like shootin’. I haven’t liked guns since someone shot and killed my dog when I was a kid.

I ain’t interested in no guns and killin’ no animals.

But I had this Boss name of Billy Biggs. Well, ol’ Billy insisted on takin’ his crew on a huntin’trip at the end of a project. We’d been workin’ in the Texas heat at the oil wells out in Odessa for several months and Billy owed us our paychecks for the last two months.

He’d made it pretty clear we better go with him if’n we wanted to get paid. What he said was that he was takin’ us huntin’ with him as a reward for all our hard work. ‘Course we all knew that was a load of hogwash.

Billy said he had in mind agettin’ him some bearskins for his new house. Guess he figured between us, some of us might be able to hit a bear or two with a rifleshot.

They was six of us includin’ me and my buddy Rick. Billy flew us up to his huntin’ cabin in Alaska on his own private jet. His “cabin” on this Alaskan island was better’n any place I’d slept in the last two years.

It was good sized enough for six bunk beds and a big ol’ king size bed for Billy which was fittin’ since Billy was king-sized.

Not only was the place fancy, but Billy had bought all of us winter gear ’cause it was snowin’ up in Alaska. The cabin was built shotgun style with a door at the front and another at the back and one long room in between.

Billy decked us out with parkas and gloves and hats and all. The he pulls out these pictures and showed us pictures of him with some dead bears. Then he practically forced us to go out in the snow and walk down to the water. He said he wanted us to get our bearin’s.

When we got back to the cabin there was a big ol’ fire roarin’ in the fireplace and some local guy was there doin’ the cookin’ and stuff. Sure seemed like Billy was butterin’ us up for somethin’ “special”.

That first night we stuffed our guts with chili and cornbread and washed it all down with some Crown Royal. I had figured on catchin’ up on some sleep after eatin’ and drinkin’ as much as I could since Billy was bein’ so gen’rus to us.

All us guys were thinkin’ ‘bout sleepin’ it all off when Billy pulled out this bag and set it on the table. He opened it up and set out all this fancy poker stuff: packs of new cards, fancy poker chips, and what not.

Ain’t nobody was lookin’ forward to playin’ no poker game with Billy. He bragged loud and often ‘bout how good he was. Now, we all understood that his whole trip was a set up to get us to play poker with Billy and lose.

We’d end up owin’ him money and wouldn’t get but scraps from our paychecks. Did I mention that Billy was a sorry SOB? Well, he was.

So we’re all around this big ol’ wood table and Billy’s dealin’. On the first hand, Billy kept raisin’ the bet. Ever’body lost money on that hand. For a while, nobody was losin’ all that much, but Billy was getting’ a pile of chips.

Next hand I won, then I lost two times. I was holdin’ back and tryin’ to get Billy to think I was just getting’ lucky now ’n then. The other guys had played poker with me before and they was wise to what I was doin’. They watched the game closely.

One by one, they dropped outa the game until it was just me ‘n Billy. I let Billy win a couple of hands and then I began to bet more. I slowly started winnin’ a few hands when the bets were high and lost when the bets were low. Billy kept actin’ like he had somethin’. Pretty soon though I started winning more hands than he did.

Finally, I begged out once I’d won back all the money my buddies had lost. It was after midnight when we convinced Billy to let us all get some sleep ’cause we were excited to go huntin’ in the mornin’. Billy finally agreed.

Next mornin’ after breakfast, Billy called me aside and tol’ me he wanted me to go on a scoutin’ trip for bears and to come back and tell us when I found one.

I wasn’t happy about that, but when Billy showed me how to load a rifle (he knew I wasn’t used to guns), he then handed me another rifle and told me to load it like he showed me. ‘Course I did it.

Then he tells me to go on outside and walk back into the trees out front. He said bears are more scared of people than people are scared of bears. “If you see one, then take the shot,” he said. “Bring me back a bear!,” he said as I was leavin’.

I couldn’t tell Billy no, but I sure wasn’t gonna shoot no bear. Soon as I was outa eyeshot, I took the bullets out of the gun and put ’em in my pocket. I walked into the woods not expectin’ to see anythin’ at’all. I was enjoyin’ lookin’ at the forest covered in snow, when I heard a noise.

I looked all around me, but saw nothin’ so I figured it was a tree branch snappin’ from the weight of the snow. I took my time tryin’ to make Billy think I was really huntin’ for a bear. I wasn’t all that far from the cabin when I stopped and smoked a cig and just stood there listenin’ to the quiet. After all the noise of the oil wells, it was nice.

I thought I might walk a little further on and then turn around and go back. I had just stepped out from between two trees into a clearin’ when I saw it. A gigantic bear on his hind legs with his giant sized paws movin’ around. Now, I’m 6 foot 4 so I ain’t short. This bear seemed like he was more than 7 feet tall.

We stood there a minute eyeballin’ each other. Neither one of us so much as blinked. Then I slowly began movin’ backwards. The bear just stood there for a few seconds until I broke eye contact and turned to see the fastest way outa there.

Then the bear lowered himself to all fours and I took off runnin’ faster than I ever run in my life. I could hear the bear behind me all the way back. That giant of a bear was quickly closin’ the distance between us.

I was relieved when I saw the cabin and I made a beeline for the door. I ran in yellin’, and I was halfway through the cabin when I noticed Billy had the guys roped into another poker game.

Only seconds later, my bear friend came runnin’ into the cabin just as I shouted:

“I got the first one. Skin it. I’m going back for another!” and I ran out the back door.

Outside I stopped because I could hear all kinds of commotion goin’ on inside the cabin. Then suddenly, my buddies come flyin’ out of the cabin hollerin’. They ran over to me and bust a guy laughin’.

I saw they had their cash in their hands. A minute later, we heard a gunshot and then heard the bear takin’ off through the front door. We went back inside and found Billy holdin’ the gun. Rick said, “Did you get him?”

Billy didn’t say nothin’ for a few minutes. Then he turned on me and said, “You were supposed to shoot the bear, not bring it back alive and mad!” Someone else asked again, “Did you shoot it?”

Very reluctantly, Billy said, “No. I did not shoot the bear. I was shootin’ at you guys for leavin’ me with the bear!”

Rick said, “We thought you were right behind us!”

Needless to say, the huntin’ trip was cut short.

Later, they told me that when I ran out, the bear stopped and looked at all of them. The bear was as scared as Billy. Well, almost. Billy wet his pants. They didn’t know whether the bear did or not.

While the bear stopped right in front of Billy, they grabbed their money off the table and took off.

We all got our paychecks. Guess Billy figured if we didn’t get paid that we’d start tellin’ people what happened.