Discover Your True Self and Purpose
By: Seda Anbarcı
Tags: Self-awareness, Self Improvement, Self Love, True Self, Self Development

Discover Your True Self and Purpose

Pixabay on Pexels

Recently, I talked to my best friend from college . I know that she’s working at some prestigious company. A true 9-to-5er.

I learned that she’s, in fact, unhappy. She told me that she doesn’t know what to do, but she knows for sure that she doesn’t want to spend her life like this.

This made me think: How can someone know what they want in life?

For my personal story: How I discovered what I want to do with my life

I made this short list for you to discover who you are and what your purpose is. This mini-guide is made by me, and it’s based on my personal experience.

Discovering who you are

1. Silent Me Time

Let’s be honest. Everyone keeps saying “Meditation.” I’m tired, and you’re probably bored. I understand. So, this one I call, “Silent Me Time.”

You don’t have to sit in a meditation pose or do yoga. Just silence. Be present with yourself without doing anything. Just sit on your bed or lie down or walk alone. Don’t look at your phone or your laptop. No interruptions.

Close your eyes or don’t. But make sure you don’t talk to anyone. Let your judgemental, negative thoughts go through your mind freely. Just bear with it. For days. For weeks. For months. One day, the voices will stop. And your mind will stop wandering around and start being present with you.

When you achieve that harmony of mind and body, that’s when you are one step closer to opening the layers of your mind and let your true essence come to present with you.

2. Self-Development

There’s a lot of books out there that keep repeating the same things over and over. I’ve read a lot of those, and I try my best not to give up on them.

One book that helped me was “Unfuck yourself” by Gary John Bishop. “Get out of your head and into your mind.” This book made me realize what I held onto in life, taught me to let go and not to be afraid of change.

I’ve also been listening to some audiobooks such as “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, which made me realize I am, in fact, a badass. We all are if we just get out of our little bubble.

Another book that helped me is “Healing Development Trauma” by Laurence Heller and Aline Lapierre. This is mostly written for therapists, but I don’t really care. I love learning about psychology so that I can understand myself better. This brings me to…

3. Seeing a Therapist OR Learning About Psychology

I’ve been to a lot of therapists since I was a kid. My mom was taking me to see one all the time. Honestly, most of the therapists weren’t helpful at all.

My parents used to fight all the time when I was a kid. And when I grew up, I realized that I’m also constantly looking for conflicts in my personal relationships and getting angry all the time.

A smart ex-boyfriend of mine talked to me calmly and convinced me to see a therapist. But since I saw a lot of them, I had to look for someone who can be really helpful. That’s when I discovered a wonderful therapist who practices “Integrative Psychotherapy.”

Long story short, she made me dive deep into my subconscious mind and find out how my childhood affected me deeply. I learned “Integrative Psychology” myself because of my lovely therapist. And now I can practice it on my own to unveil the toxic layers of my subconscious mind and heal them one by one. It’s a difficult and exhausting path, but it’s totally worth it.

I’m telling you my personal story to inspire you to learn more about psychology or maybe see a therapist if you experienced a trauma like me, but find someone who knows what they’re doing. This way, you can learn a lot about yourself that you never knew before and unravel your subconsciousness.

4. Remember Your Childhood

This also connects to the third suggestion. We have so many secrets hidden deep in our minds, and our minds think that it’s protecting us from the truth.

Our minds build walls around our “true essence” and hide it very professionally from us.We even tend to lie to ourselves about our past just to protect ourselves, but in the end, it‘s more harmful than helpful.

This might be very hard for some of us who experienced trauma. Believe me when I say I know trauma because I experienced it for 20 years. But rather than shoving it down, facing and conquering is much more powerful.

It pushes you closer to discovering who you really are, embracing what you experienced and accepting that it’s a part of you. Then you can finally move on.

Recently, I watched the TV show “The Gift” on Netflix, starring Beren Saat. It’s an amazing TV Show, I definitely recommend it. And if you watch it, you’ll see what I’m talking about in the fifth episode of The Gift. It has the perfect visualization of facing our past and fears and revealing the truths we hide deep inside.

What is your purpose?

1. What do you like?

Simple as it is. What do you like? The answer should be nouns, not verbs.

Examples: Food, Fashion, Science, Love, Astrology, Yoga, Computer, Games, Literature, Dogs, etc.

2. What do you like doing?

The answer should be a verb. The more specific you get, the better.

Examples: Walking in the morning, Sleeping on my bed, Drawing caricatures, Caring for people, Running with my dog, etc.

3. What did you like doing as a kid?

As a kid, we tend to do what we really love, what our heart desires. Because our true essence did not hide itself yet. We haven’t faced the cruel society yet. We haven’t lived enough to build the walls in our minds.

If you kept diaries, that’s what you should read. If you don’t have diaries, ask your family or friends. You can also do what I did which was seeing a therapist to remember my childhood and my suppressed memories.

4. Remember it’s a process

And most importantly, don’t be impatient. This is a huge process. Our brains are just trying to protect us from the modern life and the chaotic society.

But because of the walls and layers it built around our essence, most of us are unhappy while we force ourselves to fit into the normality of life.

One day…

It just clicks. And now, after reading this, I’m happy that you’re closer to finding your true essence and purpose in life.