What Did A Face Full of Acne Teach me?
By: Himalayan Monal
Tags: Mental Health, Health, Acne, Acceptance, Life

I have always been a sensitive person. There could be multiple possible reasons for this. It was never easy (still not easy) for me to perceive things to the “ideal degree” they should be perceived. It is always overtly and covertly “much” for me when it comes to comprehending everyday life. People and even familial relatives easily get through an event, also one that has a high level of emotional energy involved. But for me, it was always problematic to let go of the case. This all is intermingled and exacerbated because I am an overthinker and anxiety delves deep into my nerves.

So after struggling for years with my mental demons, I finally faced them as I was becoming more and more distressed. And when I thought I am ready to embark on a self-healing and nurturing journey, these bumpy little monsters decided to visit me and shake my world upside down. They hit hard. Very hard.

As for the average human, acnes were not something new for me (I don't belong to the genetically blessed skin community!). But I never really cared much, maybe because they were always nice to me and at no time stayed beyond my mental saturation limit. But this time was different, the purpose was all different!

This all started 4 months back. Some pimples started developing on my cheek area. I paid little attention, like always. I basically don't irritate my skin more during this phase. I let them fade naturally. But these stayed and guess what — are still here like those unwanted guests (I love personifying things and stuff!). Stubborn ones I guess!

Their severeness has decreased though and it's been 4 months living with them. What's big in that, you may ask? Why so much fretting on such trivial stuff? Only if it was that easy.

These 4 months gave me my most horrific days and nights. As I mentioned earlier, I am a sensitive one, so this was like the cherry on the cake. These bumps breached all the superficial bars I had created in my life till now about shallow positivity. They added wings to my deepest fears that were lying dormant till now under the garb of the social life (the one that you live to impress your society) and they obscured my “lifely” sky like those Dementors from Harry Potter. The fear of being judged, stooping substandard to the fancy standards created by the surrounding people in the name of scarless appearance and this all worsen by my overthinking patterns and glass-ceiling-shattering anxiety.

Monal and her spots

That I was feeling utterly miserable every day right after I woke up was exacerbated by the lovely comments that our society throws at us under the pretentious parade of beauty. Remarks like-

“What happened to your face???” (Yes, so much concern!) “My god! You look so bad nowadays” “Your entire face is ruined, and it looks nasty, do something fast” “You are fair so you are beautiful, just these acne reduces the beauty”

And my favorite,

“Apply some makeup, they are more visible today”

It is shattering, very damaging. The confidence just pouring down the drain.

So, what did I learn? Some precious lessons..

BE GENTLE WITH YOU

The whole acne cycle can be tiresome. Those constant bumps and blemishes on your face can make you cruel to yourself. The mind is schooled since childhood to search for perfection. This notion prevails even when defining the standards for “beauty”. Ideally, such measures should be inclusive (people should give their definition of beauty), sadly that is not the case.

Going by such beliefs, we can feel bouts of hostility towards ourselves. Trust me, doing many DIYs, applying all kinds of home remedies, putting different types of chemicals on your face — when all this fails to work, you can sense a wave of irritation encircling your senses.

That is the time to hold your thoughts and halt your attacks towards you. The one significant hand that you need during such a phase is yours. So next time when you find the self beating the soul against the superficial beauty walls of society, STOP! Stop and remind yourself that these walls are fake and these acne are not the standards that define your beauty and your beautiful being.

AGREE TO DISAGREE WITH SOCIETY

Keep one thing in mind, you don't have to flow with society in matters of deciding for you and your life. You can happily set forth your own way without shedding your social role and throwing a defensive position towards society.

Just because the world has treated acne and marks as pathological, it doesn't mean you have to abide by the same thinking. There is nothing abnormal or bad about them. Yes, a sign of deficiency, unhealthy habits, or hormonal imbalance maybe, but definitely not something to be ashamed about!

Weave your own comfort zones for your skin and don't forget that every skin type, shade, texture is beautiful and complete. Don't let someone tell you otherwise. Unlearn a bit to learn to love yourself!

IT'S NOT WHAT THEY THROW, IT’S HOW YOU CONSTRUCT IT

The thoughts and worrying about your looks can create a cloud of pessimism around you. Humans have a tendency to ruminate about a condition and build an artifact of anxiety out of it. And scientific studies show that women are more prone to such behavior than men.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3786159/

Someone said something to you and you kept on holding those words. Even when you think you are done with those words, they keep affecting you on a subconscious level.

If you find yourself stuck in a similar cycle, try to uphold the vision that people have an astonishing tendency to question even the most perfect things (if exist any!). We as beings are never satisfied with anything completely. So, how can their reality be yours if they themselves are not aware of the reality and crude truth? Learn to dissociate and take a stand for that self. You don't need to fight with people. If you are not believing them, you are already winning.

ACCEPTING THE TRUTH

On a latent level, we all are aware of a fact, but we seem to be afraid of its acceptance.

“THE WORLD CAN BE CRUEL AND MEAN SOMETIMES”

Even when you don't like the idea of it. Even if you are the kindest person in the room and the nicest soul in the world. And even if questions like I am always nice to them, how can they say that to me, keep on upsetting you.

When you absorb the fact that sometimes harsh and hurtful words can even come from the most prudent people, you let go of the expectations from anyone (and the forthcoming related hurt). This is not being gloomy, this is being a realist!

This coin has another side that is equally important. Hating someone for their words makes you more vulnerable to their vibes. It's like a swamp that keeps you engulfing deeper. Rise above the filth. Turn to yourself and dig inner in there, your thoughts and emotions. Realize the bigger picture that people are not their words. Opinions and words are deeply rooted in the soils of social environment, upbringing, degree of openness to sensitive issues in childhood, etc. As Jesus says,

“Forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

They are just ignorant. Don't let their unawareness strip you of your joy and your would-be existence. Be kind (Yes, even if they are unkind — Why putting someone in a position to change you?). Create boundaries but watch out if you becoming bitter in the process.

And to the world, Avoid face-shaming someone. People know they are having zits. Trust me, they hold that mirror all the time just in order to see some signs of marks lightening. Pointing out every so often is not nice, it's hurting. If that much common sense and empathy could be expected!

GROWING AMIDST ADVERSITIES

When this happened, I decided I will refrain from visiting a dermatologist, at least for some time. I don't know what struck me, but I had this utter urge of shedding every fake covering this time and BE VULNERABLE!

Yes, vulnerable to the core. If I have to put this into words, I wanted to burrow boundless, even deepest. I wanted to see what is my threshold about being prone to words, feelings, roller-coaster emotions, and everything! To see how far I can go, bear, sustain the spirit inside me to abide by my tiny flame of hope and real positivity — the essence I am made up of! (I am a really hopeful person).

Don’t be afraid that you will fail, or something will devour you. Take every adversity as a mountain, imagine it as huge as you can, and start ascending it. Don’t let that fear of falling keeps you from trying (fear is real, its hype is a rumor). The point is knowing how abysmal you will go if you fall from there, how hard you will be hit. You won’t die, you will rise. Rising above the triviality, the shallowness of life, and the dense mentality and beliefs that you are neighboured by. You will sink, but you will shine in the end!

So, embrace yourself and every faulty part of yourself. It is you being human. Delve deep into a situation and let it subsume you to the extent that you come out as the wisest soul. The purpose is to make the best out of a hardship, refining the self, developing patience in the procedure, and transforming to the supreme level where you develop immunity from susceptibility.