Date: 201905
Local time of day: 1201-1800
Location: ZZZ.Airport, US
Flight conditions: VMC
Weather elements / visibility: 30
Light: Daylight
Aircraft: M-20 E Super 21
Operator: Personal
Operating under: Part 91
Flight plan: VFR
Mission: Photo Shoot / Video
Flight phase: Cruise
Airspace: Class D ZZZ
ATC / advisory: Tower ZZZ
Second aircraft: Cessna Aircraft Undifferentiated or Other Model
Reporter organization: Personal
Reporter function: Single Pilot
Reporter qualification: Flight Crew Multiengine; Flight Crew Instrument; Flight Crew Air Transport Pilot (ATP)
Human factors: Communication Breakdown; Workload; Situational Awareness; Human-Machine Interface; Confusion
Anomaly: ATC Issue All Types; Conflict NMAC
Detector: Person Flight Crew
When detected: In-flight
Result: Flight Crew Took Evasive Action; Flight Crew Requested ATC Assistance / Clarification
Contributing factors: Human Factors; Company Policy
Primary problem: Human Factors

Narrative: This is not only a near-miss report. That was only a part of the whole scenario. I mention that at the beginning because I just answered the questions about the conflicts. Let's go chronologically. I asked Tower for permission to enter their airspace. I was doing aerial videography. I asked for a route between some intersections. I would have expected that a Class D controller would know where all the intersections in their airspace are. Then the Controller says that I should let her know when I'm over a fix and when I'm ready to leave there. As I approached the fix I gave her a heads-up and told her that I'd be turning to a 320 heading in about 15 seconds; because I saw I was getting very close to the airport. I really needed to start to turn towards my next way point; but she kept being clueless. The Controller asked 'that's as close as you're gonna come to the runway?'. I affirmed and then came 'can't let you get closer than that' (than what?) I had long left the first fix and was nearing the next fix already!).I told her I'm turning 320 'right now'. The Controller said 'OK; then you'll be circling there; and then let me know when you're ready to leave. About how long are you gonna be there (where?)' Multiple problems here. a) is 'then you'll be circling there' a question or a statement? b) ready to leave? I'm not circling; I'm following three waypoints; c) how am I gonna be there (where? current position or [Airport]); and you never are anywhere for a while when you fly waypoints! It was getting crazy because I had the impression they now wanted me to circle over the first fix; so did I have to fly back; to follow the instructions? So I decided to tell them that I'd like to proceed to the next fix immediately. They said something like 'approximately the intersection; I'm not sure what you mean by that' By what? Here the Controller confirmed they didn't know their intersections! Now I saw a Cessna head-on; I was probably in the traffic pattern of the airport at this time. I had to deviate immediately; and I told ATC 'I see a Cessna head-on; I'm climbing'. A few seconds we passed each other; and Controller now said 'XXXXX; so you're gonna be (unreadable) Maintain visual separation from that Cessna (by that time we had already passed each other; YES; that's how close we were already. And you're gonna depart to the NorthEast sir'. Again; multiple problems. a) maintain visual separation? We had already passed each other; I can't do that; the Cessna was behind me. b) depart to the Northeast;  well; it seems they were asking now; because they asked a question before that they didn't phrase as a question; but as a statement.I was almost at the left end of their airspace already; so I left the airspace to the West. Flying to the NorthEast would just get me back into the traffic and confuse everything. After a while Controller comes back with: 'XXXXX you wanted to be at a 1000 ft. you're above that; erm; and you wanna proceed to MERCR intersection now'. Again; multiple problems: a) I didn't want to be at 1000 ft.; I said 1000 ft. above ground (yes; I was about 1200 ft.; the ground elevation there is about 200 to 300 ft.; and I know I was about 1000 AGL; because Garmin Pilot has an above-terrain altitude that I was flying for my videography). 'And you wanna proceed to the intersection now'. No; I wanted to leave the airspace to the west as soon as possible. I was almost there already. Next; was this a question or an instruction? I replied: 'I've long passed it; and I said thousand above ground; and I'm out of your airspace in sixty seconds.' After a few minutes ATC comes back with: 'XXXXX; (blurb); I can't accommodate; I got too much traffic; and I'm not quite sure what you wanna do; so XXXXX remain outside the Class D and contact in about 10; 15 minutes.' and I replied with 'I've long left your airspace; and I'm not coming back.' and they replied with 'Sorry sir; it's just little too confusing right now'.My recommendations are every tower controller should be obligated to know each and every intersection in their airspace. Look at them on the radar. Make that mandatory. How it is possible that a tower controller doesn't know all his intersections is beyond me. I consider that incompetent. When you're slow; frustrated; resignative; winerly; emotional; don't allow aircraft into your airspace when you don't understand the request. The pilot does not know that the controller is unfit for the request. When the pilot is accepted; he has to assume that the controller is up to the task. We pilots always hear 'should not hesitate to go around'; why doesn't the FAA require controllers to 'not hesitate to deny airspace entry when overworked'? When you're slow; frustrated; resignative; winery; emotional; don't even show up for work. Don't make it worse by long slow chitchats when the heat is on. Controllers should not be allowed to confuse everyone; including the controller himself/herself.I'm an ATP and have over 1700 hours total time. In my entire flying time since 1998 this Controller was singularly the 'worst' tower controller I've ever encountered. Their instructions sent me right into a head-on with another plane that was presumably on a traffic pattern at traffic-pattern altitude (1000 above ground is about TPA; maybe he was also 200 ft. too low). I hope the FAA retires this Controller very fast. The voice makes me believe they doesn't have a lot of time left.




Synopsis: Pilot reported receiving confusing ATC instructions and encountering an NMAC.