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daddit
Congrats! You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll curse more than you ever thought you would. There will be times you feel like OP. And there will be times that you're overwhelmed with the love for your little one. Enjoy it. They're only youngboce, and believe it or not....you'll miss the early days once they're gone.
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daddit
It's hard being thrown into it with almost no idea of what you're actually gonna have to do. Things never go exactly as planned. Just load up on coffee and be flexible and ready to learn. Don't shy away from offers for help from family and friends.
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daddit
Congratulations! The thing about parenting is that it doesn't matter how many prenatal classes you do or which books you read nothing can truly prepare you for fatherhood. It's like being hit in the face with a shovel. Things get easier though. The first time they smile at you, not wind, really smile at you your hea...
3,405
daddit
Just three days of lacking or interrupted sleep can lead to PTSD-like symptoms, including delirium. Just one missed night can raise your blood pressure. Stress and lack of sleep are two major issues in PPD. Sure, I don't agree with how OP remedied it, but that's personal. They should really read the /r/AskReddit post...
3,406
daddit
If you ever thought about putting a bullet in your brain after seeing someone you've known for months die right in front of you, maybe you just aren't cut out to be a soldier! (/s) In all seriousness the elitism and thoughtcrime-esque condemning from commenters in this thread is mildly disturbing. The man is trying t...
3,407
daddit
I'm not a doctor but OP just wrote he is insecure because of his perception that his wife is being a better parent. PPD, or just selfishly narcissistic?
3,408
daddit
I think we need to acknowledge that men can also suffer from PPD.
3,409
daddit
It's Post Partum Depression or Psychosis. It happens to fathers but isn't very widely talked-about.
3,410
daddit
No, I agree with you. I do not believe hate for your child is rational in any way. Hating your new life, lack of sleep, lack of spare time or any similar thoughts are very understandable.
3,411
daddit
I'm here from /r/all, and I'm not sure why this is getting so much support/approval. It seems like this kid is in for a really rough life if his father takes out his emotional insecurities on his children, especially if it's to the point of wanting to punch a baby in the face. Like seriously, what the fuck am I reading...
3,412
daddit
Everyone has a different journey to progress as a person. Sometimes we're put in situations that we're not ready for, and we have a choice to either remain that small person, or to grow a little and become better for it. There are so many responses to you condemning this guy, but all I see is a person who made the con...
3,413
daddit
Seriously, dude needs to see a psychiatrist.
3,414
daddit
Like yourself, I'm not sure how someone could have such intensely negative feelings, unless they had a lot of extreme emotional repression going on... don't want to face your reality and bottle things up? It's going to come out in nasty ways. Think OP may want to do a bit of self assessment - more than just this epi...
3,415
daddit
Pretty much have loved my kids since I caught them coming out. I was 27 when my son was born. We had already been married 2 years. I was expecting and prepared for a loss of freedom. We also had really good birthing classes, the Bradley Method, which helped prepare us for the helplessness you feel when nothings worked....
3,416
daddit
I didn't have any strong negative feelings towards my baby, but I'm surely not about to judge someone else for their reaction. Becoming a new parent is the most life changing event I can think of. The added responsibility is immediate and is amplified by a lack of sleep. If there's any moment to have a mini crisis, it'...
3,417
daddit
Completely agree, this post made me nauseous.
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daddit
You're not the only one who's had your experience. OP is not the only one who's had his experience. Based on the comments here, there are clearly enough people in the latter group that it's not predictive of problems down the road. So please stop suggesting that people who have done nothing wrong are terrible parents w...
3,420
daddit
Right there with you, pal. Hate losing the freedom of the life without responsibility, love the child unconditionally.
3,421
daddit
You know, I kinda get you and this dad at the same time. I sorta had a similar reaction but it manifested differently. Soon after my daughter was born I kept having these irrational thoughts about something horrible happening to her. Car accident, fire, fall down the steps. Soon it was full on nightmares 3-4 times a ...
3,422
daddit
I'm the same. For me it is tied to understanding that a baby is a baby. I know that sounds odd but I see parents all the time trying to rationalize with their baby or three year old... it's just not going to work. It's more productive and easier for you to fully understand how a baby acts rather than expecting them to ...
3,423
daddit
You are absolutely not the only one; no one is saying everyone feels like OP. But not everyone feels like you, either. We are a wide, varied, and diverse species; lots of folks feel different ways about being a parent, and we each get to deal with that in our own way. Finding others who feel similarly to you and have h...
3,424
daddit
You're definitely not, but I do remember those feelings if not wanting the baby around with my first born. It's a huge life shift and everyone handles it differently. For me, my second was so much easier because I could see an end to the all night crying, the taking of 100% of my wife's attention, etc. But yeah with my...
3,425
daddit
That was my thought. I can't relate to this post at all. I understand the fear of being a new dad, but the hateful language by OP is waaaaay over the top. There are much bigger issues here, even with the turnaround at the end.
3,426
daddit
You OP comes off as a total narcissist douche bag if I'm being quite honest. "I felt violent hate for my child because I sucked at being a parent!" Wtf is that shit.
3,427
daddit
Me too. I could her him cry forever and not get angry, but I do want it to stop because a) I don't want him to be suffering or in pain, and b) it upsets my wife a lot.
3,428
daddit
I was reading this post hoping it would turn around. I have never felt hate for my son, and it is weird to me that anybody could legitimately hate their child. Sleepless nights and being frustrated are normal but wanting to punch your child is a real problem. I'm glad this guy find his own real issue. But, if any dad r...
3,429
daddit
You're not special because you use different terms to describe when you get frustrated. Many people who love their children deeply still get frustrated and say things like "I wanted to punch that baby" when the thought of that never actually entered their mind. It's like when someone says "I wanted to kill them" when r...
3,430
daddit
I can sort of see how it would go in someones mind. You're tired, frustrated, worried, scared, whatever. If someone has those feelings and doesn't have a look into themselves, the wife and kid were right in front of him. He took the easy obvious target. But he figured it out. Kudos.
3,431
daddit
It's a mental illness. One that can be dealt with, but one that absolutely requires attention. It's perfectly normal to not feel bonded to your child for the first few months. And it's perfectly normal to stress about things like sleep deprivation and the loss of your freedom. But it's definitely not normal to hate y...
3,432
daddit
There are plenty of times when "nature going about its business" is both cute and annoying. Such is life. The important thing to remember is there is no one "right" way to feel.
3,433
daddit
I felt exhausted, not up to the task, and at points, not empathic to my son at all, but never hatred. That's not healthy or normal. He had colic so I would walk around with him screaming for hours at a time so hard my ears ring to this day, but he was literally helpless and while it was impossible to bond at first, I...
3,434
daddit
I love mine all the time too man. I know he doesn't WANT to cry or feel shitty...who would ever choose that? Their brains are just a torrent of chemicals and emotions, they're figuring it all out as they go, and they have quite literally ZERO perspective on life and what is and isn't a big deal. How's he supposed to ...
3,435
daddit
How is It wrong to think about punching someone in the face? I kill about twenty people in my thoughts everyday. Who are you to judge about coping skills? Kids can be hell.
3,436
daddit
I've had moments thinking stuff like our daughter was annoying, wished that she was with her grandparents and stuff like that. I've taken time off work just to be at home and do nothing at all, even though i dropped her off at the daycare in the morning. I wouldn't say everything is just lovely and jolly good, as a par...
3,437
daddit
I'm with you, but not everyone bonds with their child immediately. Someone like OP might not love the baby for a long while, yet they still must endure weeks of sleepless nights and dirty diapers. Granted, wanting to punch your baby is extreme (to say the least), but it's not unusual to be pessimistic in that scenario.
3,438
daddit
Well it's not normal, but there's people out there who aren't normal and who need help.
3,439
daddit
I don't think that's fair. He's sick with some real mental issues that he needs help with. He's only a piece of shit if he doesn't get help.
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daddit
Agreed. Disgusting post. There's depression and sleep depravity and being a first time parent, then there's preferring a used condom over your child
3,442
daddit
This is the same dumb, arrogant, ignorant, asinine stubbornness that sentenced generations of mother's into depression and in some cases suicide. Congratulations you are a fucking piece of shit.
3,443
daddit
Seriously, what a fucking me first asshole. Jeeeeeeesus
3,444
daddit
My thoughts exactly. How can you hate something? Something must have happen in his childhood for such feelings to arise.
3,445
daddit
Yeah not to pile on but if this someone's reaction to not knowing how to do something... eesh.
3,446
daddit
I thought he was typing out the plot of "We need to talk about Kevin"
3,447
daddit
I had a shitty job and absolutely zero prospects at age 25 when I started smoking weed. Now 31, summa cum laude college graduate, two kids, married, much better job. I feel you.
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daddit
white noise. Loud. Grab it on Spotify
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daddit
Not everyone's the same
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daddit
I couldn't figure out why I had to watch a "don't shake the baby" video before my wife was discharged. 3 weeks later, I get it. He's such a frustrating little dude.
3,451
daddit
It is very common. A baby changes your life completely, you stop sleeping, lose appetite and your life is upside down. Plus the babies are absolutely selfish and demanding, so it's quite normal to feel your life is not your own anymore and blame your kid for that, thus the hate. I'm a father of a two and a half years ...
3,452
daddit
You mean aside from the reasons OP talked about?
3,453
daddit
it cures cancer. papa bless
3,454
daddit
That was oddly beautiful :)
3,455
daddit
Actually he sounds like an honest and self-effacing person to me. Pretty sure those are qualities you need to have to be able to grow. I think he'll be alright.
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daddit
Well I learned something new! Thanks you special sort of prick.
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3,458
daddit
Reading comprehension would help tremendously here. You've missed the point mate. He's expounding on his emotional journey. That bold sentence is for you.
3,459
daddit
>GROW THE FUCK UP YOU PRICK! >peace and love. Pick one.
3,460
daddit
Read the whole thing before running your mouth, fuck for brains.
3,461
daddit
First three months can be brutal especially.
3,462
daddit
I take it you've never been truly sleep deprived for weeks? It brings out some unsettling aspects of your human psyche
3,463
daddit
-Reads story of man improving his life through self-reflection. -Call him a whiny bitch. You must have a number of issues, sad.
3,464
daddit
Someone's dad didn't give them enough hugs!
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daddit
Haha
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daddit
[deleted]
3,467
daddit
Did you read to the end?
3,468
daddit
We're both teachers too!
3,469
daddit
Do you want a little asshole kid? Cause this is how you get an asshole kid.
3,470
daddit
You gave up too soon.
3,471
daddit
Did you bother reading?
3,472
daddit
hahaha.
3,473
daddit
Hey man, I have a suggestion for you. Maybe instead of killing your son, just kill yourself instead. The world would be much better off. Edit: Jesus Christ reddit why did you upvote this comment?
3,474
daddit
THere is literally no such thing! Babies do not come out of men. All a man has to do is stick his dick in once. You are all pathetic faggots and your children will hate you.
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daddit
I was starting to think he was a troll. 10/10 OP put me through the roller coaster.
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daddit
i thought he meant wide like, the world wide web.
3,477
daddit
Perhaps he meant 'broad'.
3,478
daddit
I once told my sister I was picking up my wife at hooker depot because she'd found a new knob.
3,479
daddit
I thought this was some code word for pot I'd never heard.
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[deleted]
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daddit
Damn -- one typo deserves an otter.
3,482
daddit
Everyone is in the nursery posting on their phone.
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daddit
Oh RaptorJesus, please watch over u/OssotSromo and keep him from harm.
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daddit
joke
3,485
daddit
Hey he already admitted to being flawed, no need to rub it in ;)
3,486
daddit
Didn't want the pound sign. Really wanted emphasis on that point. I'm on mobile and didn't even think about it until you said something to be honest hahaha
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daddit
I'm a substitute kindergarten teacher, so I spend a lot of time around basically tall-ass toddlers, and I'd be willing to vouch for this guy's sanity 100%. Feeling incompetent is an awful thing, especially when you're in charge of a little life, and I come home a lot thinking I don't want kids, feeling like I just suck...
3,488
daddit
Dude was just stressed to the max. Can you blame him? All the weed did was put him in a new state of mind and it helped him realize he was wrong. I see nothing wrong with that.
3,489
daddit
I agree that therapy would be a great second step. But let's not be judgemental. OP took the first step in acknowledging his struggles. The next step is seeking help. Being a dad is tough. I have a shorter temper than I realized, but I also have two incredible young boys (almost 3 & 1.5) that I love dearly.
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daddit
People need ways to cope with the changes in their lives. Some smoke weed. Some go fishing. Some go on walks. All of these are better vents then drinking oneself under the table, taking opiods, or even killing themselves because they waited till it was too late to release their demons. He'll get there, and had y...
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daddit
> If you need to smoke weed to stop hating your newborn you are messed up in the head and should stay well away incase you do something that you regret. Thats not even close to what he said. There is so much wrong with your comment it is sad. If I were you, random redditor, I'd leave the diagnosis to professionals. ...
3,492
daddit
Judgemental much?
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daddit
TIL weed smokers = baby shakers. Yikes, what a mindset
3,494
daddit
Instead of showing empathy towards his personal efforts and ponderings, you stay in the comfortable holier than thou zone. It's fucking selfish and I hate that.
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daddit
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daddit
Would happily murder his son if he wouldn't go to prison.
3,497
daddit
Yeah.... I get having negative feelings towards your baby, but the whole "I would murder him in a world with no consequences".... that's beyond bad feelings. If you think that you would intentionally harm your child then I think that qualifies as needing professional mental help.
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daddit
Yeah, it's a bit much.
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daddit
[Here's some advice on choosing a therapist](http://www.metanoia.org/choose/), if you feel like reading. I'll say that not everything listed there was helpful/made sense to me, but it's got some solid advice, and it's fairly easy to tell what will and won't matter for you. As someone else said, contacting your primary...
3,500
daddit
the type of therapy matters far less than whether or not you are able to trust the person enough to be vulnerable and say what is most difficult to say. go to someone local that you look like you might be able to open up to. The rest is honestly just details.