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Firefighter is consider to be one of dangerous jobs in the world, but Mark Bezos, an assistant captain volunteer in fire company presented his TED talk in a funny way. It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain when he got into initial fire assignment. A volunteer who arrived five seconds before him was asked to save home-owner's dog. So when his turn came, captain of the volunteer said that Bezos need to got inside the house, pass the fire and got the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear. When he got out from the house, it turned out that his friend who save the dog got more attention that him! At that time, he feel that he is not a hero.
However, through his volunteer role as a firefighter, he learnt about the act of generosity and kindness as well to learnt about grace and courage a long the way. He advised if people want to help their surrounding, they need to start now. It does not to be somethings big. For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor. At last, Bezos gave an inspiring words to close his speech with " not every day is going to offer a chance to save somebody's life but every day offer an opportunity to affect one". | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-life-lesson-volunteer-firefighter-71442/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Firefighter is CONSIDERED to be one of dangerous ~~jobs~~ PROFESSIONS [*concern about the differentiation between job, work, profession, and occupation just like why salary, wage, and income different each others]* in the world, but Mark Bezos, ~~an assistant captain volunteer in fire company~~a voluntary captain assistant in a fire company , presented his TED talk in a funny way.
*It was in the middle of the night and under pouring rain* [too similar with the speaker words. need to more paraphrased] when he got into HIS initial fire ~~assignment~~DUTY.
ANOTHER volunteer who arrived five seconds .....
~~So~~THEN/MEANWHILE, when his turn came, ~~captain of the volunteer~~the Captain said that ~~Bezos~~HE needED to ~~got~~GET inside the house, pass the fire and ~~got~~GET the home-owner a pair of shoes to wear.
attention that him! At [pay attention in the using of punctuation] that time, he feelT that he ......
However, through his ~~volunteer~~VOLUNTARY role as a firefighter, he HAS learnt about (...) as well to ~~learnt~~LEARN about grace and courage a long the way.
*He advised if people want to help (...) It does not to be somethings big.*you may merge these two sentences into one
For example, serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up neighborhoods park or be a mentor[too similar with the speaker words ].
**concern on word form chosen regarding to tenses, accuracy and function of your sentences** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-life-lesson-volunteer-firefighter-71442/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Five lionesses found in Botswana have grown a mane and are showing male-like behaviours. One is even roaring and mounting other females. This anomaly has started studying by Geoffrey D. Gilfillan at the University of Sussex in Falmer UK, and he stated that lioness is mostly female in behaviour and she also has some male behaviours, such as increased scent-marking and roaring.
Luke Hunter, president and chief at global wild cat conservation explained that a maned lioness is caused by increased level of testosterone and high levels of testosterone due to a problem in her ovaries. While some manned lioness is observed mating, none of them became pregnant. The test revealed high levels of androgens such as testosterone in females. Hunter says that must be a genetic component in this population underlying the phenomenon. | Yonathan | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/five-wild-lionesses-grow-mane-start-acting-71450/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Yonathan
I have an advice to you
Five lionesses found in Botswana have grown a mane and are showing male-like behaviours
Five lionesses= subject
found= verb
in Botswana= adverb of place
have grown= verb
a mane....=object
**.....you should use *conjunction* to combine one sentence and another** | Alamsyah Ismail | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/five-wild-lionesses-grow-mane-start-acting-71450/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**TED : Secret to Great Public Speaking**
In the video, the speaker, Chris Anderson, explained about four keys to be an extraordinary public speaker. First of all, the idea becomes an important secret factor influencing people to make a good speaker. Idea is an array of information which connect collectively amongst many views . Therefore, it is going to become individual's point of view. Every person has his or her own idea to consider a phenomenon. For Instance, people looking a young women must have different prespective when they have to spell it out. In public speaking, a speaker must have the spesific idea which is talked in front of the audience. It is able to be strengthened with explanation and example as it will be easier to be understood by audience. Secondly, the speaker has to have interesting idea to attract the attention of audience. In this case, Using the new or unique idea can appeal their interest effectively. In addition, starting public speaking with languange which is easy to be got by audience is an essential factor to pull up audience's attention. Finally, the speaker obligatorily ensure that the idea is exceptionally important to be shared since it is able to inspire and give many upsides in human's life. | Aris05 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/chris-anderson-explained-four-keys-71445/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Aris,
I hope you are doing good, I just want to give some advices for you.
please, you have to be careful with your spelling (I have found some errors) and remember singular and plural.
connect 's'
prespective perspective
languange language
spesific specific
a young women young women (singular/plural)
consider a phenomenon consider about ... (preposition)
Therefore, you can change to ' it has led to' (cause/effect)
Good luck for your next summary assignments
Cheers | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/chris-anderson-explained-four-keys-71445/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Aris Indra,
I am pleased to read your summary because you have got the point of creating the summary. You have had the better progress. In this time, let me finalize yours. Check it out.
..., Chris Anderson~~,~~ explained about four keys to be ...
First of all, ~~the~~ AN idea OF THE SPEAKERS becomes an important secret factor ~~influencing~~ TO INFLUENCE people ~~to make~~ SO THAT TEHY CAN PERFORM AS a good speaker. THE Idea is an array of information which connectS collectively amongst many views . Therefore, it is going to become ~~individual's~~ point of INDIVIDUAL'S view. Every person has ~~his or her~~ THE ~~own~~ idea to consider a phenomenon. For Instance, people looking ~~a~~ young women must have different ~~prespective~~ PERSPECTIVE when they have to spell it out. In public speaking, ~~a~~ THE speaker must have the ~~spesific~~ SPECIFIC idea ~~which is~~(Here should be omitted) talked in front of the audience.
... easier to be understood by THE ~~audience~~ AUDIENCE. Secondly, the speaker has to have THE interesting idea to attract the attention of THE audience. ... public speaking with ~~languange~~ LANGUAGE which is easy to be got by THE audience is an essential factor to pull up THE audience's attention.
... obligatorily ensureS that the idea is exceptionally important ...
I hope you pay attention to spelling.
I really believe you can become better in this case. Practice more and more
Keep spirit. | akbarmappiare | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/chris-anderson-explained-four-keys-71445/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Aris, please find additional suggestions below;
- explained ~~about~~ four keys to be
- important ~~secret~~ factor in influencing people
- to ~~make~~become a good speaker.
- Idea is an array of information ~~which~~that connects collectively amongst many views .
- Therefore, it is going to become an individual's point of view.
- people looking at a young
- woma n must have different
Spelling:
prespective - perspective
spesific - specific i
languange - language
- Finally, the speaker ~~obligatorily~~ ensures that the idea
- ~~since it is able to~~as it inspires and
- ~~give~~provide many ~~upsides~~ups and downs in human's life.
There you have it Aris, I hope the above insights helped and for future writing reference, be careful with your spelling, make sure that your spell checker is on all the time. | justivy03 | Sep 28, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/chris-anderson-explained-four-keys-71445/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Nowadays, In the medical field, they used to using brains for medical research. They need a fresh brain that has to arrive in 24 hours after died at least. Jorge Tejada and his team had found effectively frozen brain. The process takes about 17 hours since the moment of death until arriving at McLean Hospital and have to be removed intact and transported rapidly.
First, a brain is weighed, after that then sliced in half rinsed in sterile saline. There are two different way treatments. A half brain sliced from front to back and the cerebellum (key structure) removed. The slices placed into two plates and directly frozen using a cocktail of dry ice and liquid nitrogen. This way aims to minimize tissue damage. The frozen slices are then saved into deep freeze until needed. The other hemisphere is treated for examining and dissect needs. The hemisphere is soaked in formalin for few weeks. | fauziyahtami | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-immortalising-human-brains-world-71446/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
... they used to ~~using~~use brains for medical research. They need a fresh ~~brain~~mind that has to arrive in ...
... until arriving at McLean Hospital and ~~have~~has to be removed intact ...
First, a brain is weighed, ~~after that~~ then sliced in half ...
... frozen using a cocktail of ~~dry~~drying ice and liquid nitrogen.
The frozen slices ~~are~~ then saved into deep ...
The other hemispheres is treated for examining and dissecting needs.
that's all about my advices,,,thanks | mdamanhuri77 | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-immortalising-human-brains-world-71446/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Fauziyahtami.
Let me give you some advice...
First, a brain is weighed, ~~after that~~(and) then sliced in half ...
There are two different ~~way~~ treatments.
This way aims to ~~minimize~~(minimise) tissue damage. The frozen slices ~~are~~ then saved into ...
Thank you... | Yonathan | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-immortalising-human-brains-world-71446/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hi Fauziyahtami..
Let me give you some advice...
..., they used to ~~using~~use brains for medical research. They need a fresh brain that ~~has to~~ arrives in 24 hours ...
First, a brain is weighed, ~~after that~~ then sliced in half ...
The frozen slices ~~are then~~ saved into deep ...
good job.
I hope it could be helpul.. | Sari Trisna | Sep 28, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-immortalising-human-brains-world-71446/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**The danger of silence by Clint Smith**
Clint Smith, a poet and teacher spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel. He begun speech with quoted of Marten Luther King Jr story who reflected African movement in America. Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war. At the beginning he live in suffered, no soda, no food, no home, as the result he give up. However he realized that every man want to be as human, have right to live which every people are needed life good, freedom and equal. A short, he stand front of the audience is speaking up against discrimination and injustice.
Source: TED | PHA2016 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/clint-smith-poet-teacher-spoke-danger-silence-71441/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Pha, the followings are my thoughts regarding your writing.
... spoke up about (you may also use 'regarding) the danger of silence ...
He begun (his) speech (by presenting a meaningful quote by Marten Luther King Jr) who reflected African movement in America.
Smith talked (said/stated/explained/described) that silence is.....
At the beginning (of his life) he....
Thank you. | Fitri12 | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/clint-smith-poet-teacher-spoke-danger-silence-71441/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Clint Smith, a poet and teacher *[need comma. additional information related to someone or something written in between commas is what we called 'appositive']* spoke up about the danger of silence on the TED channel.
He begun HIS speech with ~~quoted~~A QUOTE of Marten Luther King Jr ~~story who~~WHICH reflected African movement in America.
Smith talked that silence is residue fear entire in his life and African people as well, for example, discrimination, violence and war.*confusing sentence. you may want to write:*
SMITH TALKED THAT SILENCE LEFT FEARS ON HIS ENTIRE LIFE JUST LIKE OTHER AFRICAN PEOPLE COMMONLY FELT. IT IS DUE TO DISCRIMINATION, VIOLENCE, AND WAR.
At the beginning [need comma] he liveD in suffered, (...), as the result [need comma] he ~~give~~gave up.
However **[comma]** he realized that every man want to ~~be~~live as normal human, have right ~~to live which every people are needed life good~~of decent life , freedom and equalITY.At short, hestandS in front of the audience ~~is speaking~~to speak up against discrimination and injustice.
**severe issues on punctuation. need to concern more on word form chosen and sentence completion. try to compose sentences that will easily understand for its informative value. besides, try to write longer summary so you will write more while others will give more feedback. good luck** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/clint-smith-poet-teacher-spoke-danger-silence-71441/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Jennifer Golbeck is a computer scientist who shares her super exciting research regarding to the rise numbers of social media and social network users. Most people around the globe consider that Facebook is much more interactive place to interact with others. The data has shown that Facebook has 1,2 billion users per month so about half of this earth's internet population is using Facebook.it is a networking site which allows people to get along with others and sending huge amounts of personal data online, thus, the result the computer scientist like Jennifer has hundreds of millions people's behavioral preference and demographic data which are able to build models that can predict all sorts of hidden people's personality that they even don't realize. Then, she described her favorite research which is published this year. In the proceeding of the national academies, she can predict all these attributes by looking at people's Facebook "like". In her study, she listed the five "likes" that were most indicative of high intelligence and among those was liking a page for CURLY FRIES. It must be delicious, however, liking them doesn't mean just leading a feeling appetite, but also is able to show how intelligence they are. At the last of her performance, she stated that her goal is not to figure out information about users, it's to improve the way people interact online. | Iedha01 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-curly-fry-conundrum-social-media-71432/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello iedha ...
You have done great job, these following corrections are addressed to you :
... scientist who shares her ~~super~~ exciting research (exciting means super ) regarding to the rise number~~s~~ of social media and ~~social~~ network users (among these three conjungtion including and/but/or should be followed by the same structure word ).
... Facebook is much more interactive ~~place~~ site to interact with others. The data (plural noun form or datum ) ~~has~~ have shown that ~~Facebook~~ it (avoid repetition by changing pronous ) has 1,2 billion users (...) of this earth's ~~internet~~ population is using Facebook.
Thanks
I hoppefuly it is useful
Best Regard
ifan | Ifan21 | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-curly-fry-conundrum-social-media-71432/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Iedha, Here some inputs for your writing.
per month ~~so~~*in other words* about half of this earth's ...
~~and sending~~*by send* huge amounts of ...
the result the computer scientist like Jennifer has hundreds ...*This sentence too ambiguous, not explaining well. Better if you can change it to **Ms. Golbeck has released demographic data which contain millions people's behavioral preference that can be used to build models which able to predict all sorts of hidden people's personality.***
~~Then,~~*Moreover,*she described her favorite research [...] looking at people's Facebook "like".*not coherence, not understanble*
**Good luck!** | fauzankrn | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-curly-fry-conundrum-social-media-71432/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
....... regarding to the ~~rise~~rising numbers of social media and social network users
... the globe consider that Facebook is A much more interactive ~~place~~site/website/media to interact with others
however, the flow is hard to follow here
Most people around the globe consider ...
you may need to say : as an illustration, most people around the world.....
The data ~~has~~have shown that Facebook has new 1,2 billion users per month so (...) population is using ~~Facebook~~it
... data online, thus, as the result ~~the~~acomputer scientist like Jennifer ...**too complex. consist of 6 finite verbs. you may need to simplify it.**
..... by looking at ~~people's~~user*[try to use certain strong word that really related to specific issue just like write 'user' instead of 'people' in writing about tech]* Facebook "like". I
**at all, you are well skilled on composing sentences. however, there are many spaces for improvement and revision here in order to enhance your writing completely. good luck** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-curly-fry-conundrum-social-media-71432/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Brad Pitt, a famed Hollywood celebrity, has decided to focus on his current "family situation" instead of attending the premiere of his latest movie, Voyage of Time. Through his second press conference, after Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, according to People magazine, he stated "I'm very grateful to be part of such a fascinating and educational project, but I'm currently focused on my family situation and don't want to distract attention away from this extraordinary film, which I encourage everyone to see."
Jolie registered for divorce from Pitt on 19th September 2016, she has claimed "irreconcilable differences" as the reason of the divorce. Since then, it has been revealed that this outstanding couple had officially separated on 15th September 2016. Both, Jolie and Pitt take this matter gravely and will not let their children down or get involved in that complicated situation. | Fitri12 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-brad-pitt-says-skipping-latest-film-71431/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Fitri,
Very interesting article, here's some feedback from me.
a famed Hollywood celebrity( consider to replace it with : well-known or A-list)
he stated "I'm very grateful to be part ... ( could be much more interesting to change into indirect speech)
Overall, the article that you choose it too short, try to pick longer articles next time :)
All the best for your writing progress! | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-brad-pitt-says-skipping-latest-film-71431/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
his current "family situation" instead
*it is fine you took that phrase from the direct quotation, but for your enhance your lexical resource you may change it and look for another appropriate synonims*
"I'm very grateful to be part of such a fascinating and educational project, but I'm currently focused on my family situation and don't want to distract attention away from this extraordinary film, which I encourage everyone to see.
*it is true that the article you summarized is too short. the fact that nearly half of your writing is a quotation made it imbalance. you need to show much more effort by taking the complicated or advanced article rather than very light material like this next time*
Jolie registered for divorce from Pitt on 19th September 2016
but
had officially separated on 15th September 2016.
contradicted information
**force your self to beyond your limit. i know that you have shown a good performance on your recent writings, so please give us better and longer summary next time** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-brad-pitt-says-skipping-latest-film-71431/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Cutting-edge technology has been appiled for many perspective nowadays, particularly Computer-based working. Many convenient spesific sofwares embed and lounced to improve productivity. Architechture approach is one of common acccupations that use computer to elevate the productivity. Therefore, architecture researches have been persuing to develop and designed sophisticated softwere based on technique or requirement.
Recent progrmas which are being used have several problems regarding on picture display, one of those is rather stark picture sresult which is not suitable for brochure. According to Simon Schofield, a researcher at the Martin Centre for Architectural and Urban Studies at Cambridge, he explained that 'Architects hate presenting too 'real' an image to clients early on, because it suggests they have already made decisions.' an implementation of it, now he create a form of 'computerised brass rubbing' which is developed in order to change the skets into impressionist painting. It improve the quality display and provide architect many features. as result, the result become more attractive and more gergously intresting. | Ifan21 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-technology-brass-rubbings-breathe-life-71427/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Ifan
Let me give you some advice...
Cutting-edge technology has been ~~appiled~~(applied) for many perspective (perspectives) nowadays, ...
Many convenient ~~spesific~~ (specific) ~~sofwares~~ (softwares) embed and lounced(launched) to improve productivity.(the) Architechture approach is one of common acccupations(occupations) that use computer to ...
Therefore, architecture ~~researches~~ (researchers) have been ~~persuing~~~~(pursuing)~~ to develop and designed s...
... more attractive and more ~~gergously~~(gorgeously) intresting.
Many misspell word
You should double checked your summary
Thank you... | Yonathan | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-technology-brass-rubbings-breathe-life-71427/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Cutting-edge technology has been ~~appiled~~applied for many ~~perspective~~purposes nowadays, particularly on computer-based working.
~~Many~~a great number ofcertain convenient software embed and lAunced to improve productivity.
Therefore, ~~architecture~~its researches have been pUrsuing to develop and design~~ed~~ sophisticated softwere based on specific technique or requirement.
Recent progrmas which are being used (...) rather stark picture sresult which is not ...
misspelling
'Architects hate presenting too 'real' an image to clients early ...
**too many minor errors here. it might not change the meaning or ruin the readers understanding, but still it reduce the quality of your work. need to eliminate this kind of error for sure** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-technology-brass-rubbings-breathe-life-71427/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Language ability consists of two divisions, namely Active and Passive part. Speaking and Writing belong to the Active part while Listening and Reading belong to the Passive part. Those who are bilinguals have balanced skills, thus most bilinguals around the globe, know and utilize their languages in varying proportion, depending on their circumstances. Having an easier time when traveling, watching movies without subtitle, having healthier brain are several benefits of being a bilingual or multilingual.
Bilinguals can be classified into three general types. Firstly, Compound Bilinguals, those who develop two linguistic codes simultaneously. Meaning that acquiring and using two languages naturally due to the environment condition. A kid who migrates from one country to another country then acquires both languages of those nations. Coordinate Bilingual is the second type. Those in this type, work with two concepts of language. For instance, they use English in the school but utilize Spanish to speak with friends and at home. The last type is Subordinate Bilingual. The people that categorize into this type are mostly the elderly who have already acquired their first language. They tend to apply the second language by filtering it to their primary language.
Related to those previous conditions, a critical period hypothesis states that children are easier to acquire languages due to the plasticity of their developing brain. This research also highlights that learning multiple language is good to avoid Alzheimer and Dementia. Bilingualism might not be able to make people smarter, but makes brain healthier, complex and actively engaged. | Fitri12 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-benefits-bilingual-brain-mia-nacamulli-71426/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Fitri12
I have some advice to you, please pay attention if you wish
Those ~~who~~ are bilinguals have balanced skills...
**.... i think you not should use *conj* into your sentence**
have balanced skills, thus most bilinguals around the globe, know and utilize their languages ...
**.......because you used *balanced*, by me, you should use *knew* and *utilized*** | Alamsyah Ismail | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-benefits-bilingual-brain-mia-nacamulli-71426/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Speaking and Writing belong to the Active part while Listening and Reading belong to the ~~Passive part.~~other one*[avoid writing the same words/phrases several time. indeed, there many ways you can vary your writing style to enhance your lexical resources]*
..., thus most ~~bilinguals~~of them around the globe,
Firstly, Compound Bilinguals, those who develop two linguistic ... =firstly, compound bilinguals is a term for those who develop......
Meaning that acquiring and using two languages ...
incomplete sentence grammatically , you may need to say: it means that they acquire and use two languages......
or meaning that acquiring and using two languages naturally, they have developed through the surrounding environment condition
Meaning that acquiring and ... A kid who migrates from one country to ...
*the flow is hard here.. you need to emphasize or write it well so that readers will easily understand that those two sentences are still about the compound Bilinguals*
**at all, you need to revise your work realizing that there many spaces for improvement there. for now on, you need to more concern on the coherence of your sentences.** | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-benefits-bilingual-brain-mia-nacamulli-71426/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**TED Summary- How to speak so that people want to listen**
The human voice is the most powerful sounds in the world. How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. There are number of habits that we can avoid. First gossiping, speaking about the others flaw. Second, judging, people who judge the others is hard to be heard. Third, negativity, someone who had negative thinking will be hard to be listened. Forth, Complaining, people who always complaining cannot look for good reasons in their life. Fifth, Excusing, they are blaming on everything, put the responsibility to another people and then take the rest. Sixth, lying, people do not want to hear to something untruth. Seventh, dogmatism, it is difficult to be heard. The thing we could do to be more powerful to speak is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. First, Honesty, being true and clear. Authenticity, just be yourself and standing in your own way. Integrity, being what you said. Love, wish them well, you will be hard to judge other people.
Lower your voices which mean you can associate powerful. Timbre, The way your voice feels like smooth and warm, you can practice making your voice comfortable to be heard. Prosody, root one for a conversation, makes a conversation more colorful and sometimes makes some divergent meaning. Pace, affect the speed of understanding. Pitch, attract people concern to you. Volume, some people ascend or descend their voices to pay attention. Be a powerful speaker and get convince listener, means creating and receiving. | fauziyahtami | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/speak-powerfully-make-changes-world-71444/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Faiz
Let me give you some advice....
There are (a) number of habits ...
... negative thinking will be hard to ~~be~~ listened.
The thing we could do to be more powerful ~~to speak~~(speech) is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically.
Authenticity, ~~just~~ be yourself and standing in ...
... makes a conversation more ~~colorful~~(colourful) and sometimes ~~makes~~ (make) some divergent meaning.
Thank you... | Yonathan | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/speak-powerfully-make-changes-world-71444/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi fauziyahtami,
I hope you are doing good. You have a good summary, let me give you some suggestions.
How to speak powerfully to make changes in the world. is it a question or a title?
number of habits that we can avoid suggestion ' there are several bad habits of human being. (this is the main topic)
Your summary already used logical order however, you probably need to use other types of logical order such as primarily, first of all, next, initially etc.
First gossiping, speaking about the others flaw. --> First and foremost, gossiping is that individuals tend to spread other flaws without the real fact. (this is just suggestion)
The thing we could do to be more powerful to speak is to greet or acclaim enthusiastically. --> on the other hand, there are a considerable number of aspects to present a powerful speaking
Just all from me, Good luck for your next assignments/tests
Cheers | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/speak-powerfully-make-changes-world-71444/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**How to Fix the Broken Education without More Money (TED Summary)**
People usually have mindset that it is almost impossible to change the corrupt government. Seema Bassal from India will dispute that perceptions which followed by the unbelievable example. She explained about how heartbreaking education system condition in a state in India, Hariyana, which has 15,000 public schools with 2 millions student and her journey with her team to transform it. The story was started from their struggles to find the best solution. Actually, they already have a great deal of ideas, on the other hand, they must put more effort to discover a concept that could be applied to the whole schools. They decided to determine about Hariayana's education goal and then several idea that supported to achieve the purpose were picked. They figured that broken education might be formed by malfunction of the teacher roles. The important things from teacher roles are to educate the students. Because of the limited budget, they should look for a solution that could be used to all of the school. Finally they found an alternative solution when one of the team member saw a teacher whom used learning object from around the school. On a big scale, they implemented textbook that had guideline to make an interesting lesson so the learning activity was about all of the things in school environment. Nowadays, education in Hariyana is better than in the past and teacher do their jobs as an educator for student even the teacher has a communication group using social media. | Sari Trisna | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/heartbreaking-education-system-condition-71435/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Sari Trisna
I have some advice to you, pay attention if you wish
People usually have mindset that it~~is~~ almost impossible to change the corrupt government.
**....because pronoun (it) mentioned to people, i think you should use plural verb (are)**
which has 15,000 public schools with 2 million~~s~~ student(s)
**.... million have to without s**
then several idea(s) that supported to achieve the purpose
an alternative solution when one of the team member(s) saw a teacher | Alamsyah Ismail | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/heartbreaking-education-system-condition-71435/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
People usually have ~~mindset~~ idea that it is almost impossible ...
... with 2 millions student and ~~her~~ journey with her ...
... a great deal of ideas, ~~on the other hand~~ that, they must put more ...
**On the other hand,** they decided to determine (...) and the~~n~~ several idea (...) achieve the purpose *were picked*.
~~Because~~ However, **it is because** of the limited budget, they should ...
Finally**,** they found an alternative solution ...
... to make an interesting lesson**,** so the learning activity ...
You have to explain more detail in the line six and added introduction in the first paragraph. | andika08 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/heartbreaking-education-system-condition-71435/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**Ted How I read a book every day**
When the first time I read the title of this speech, I am curious to listen directly. In my mind, I imagine how the busy people always working are able to read a book every day. Some people probably consider that reading book is the difficult activity because the common reason is that it needs plenty of time. According to the speaker-his names is TaiLopez from New York USA, "most people living on the earth spent their time without a book". He also told his experience when he was child that his grandfather always invited him to go to the library. For him, the book was a friend and could be encountered every time".
Commonly, people point out the question does the reading a book bring advantages? It is certainly sure when reading a book someone will not gain the benefit directly. Furthermore, reading is a need that it is same as when people need something to eat. On the other word, we can properly say that reading like eating that requires a mutual habit. Without reading habit, it will be impossible to convenience that it is important.
Based on Tailopez's argument, he said that no much time was one of the reasons for someone why they did not provide their golden time to read. I totally agree that reading habit is not always determined by whether people have time or not, but it is about an intention. In the same time, it is also related whether people can endeavor to buy the books or not, but it depends on that their consideration about books is necessary or not.
The most interesting statement of Tailopez's was that people were not easy to find the mentors guiding them every day. He gave the brilliant example that the great people such Mohandas K Ghandi from India, George Washington from USA, or Nelson Mandela from Africa were good persons difficult to get right now. Therefore, to replace them, Tailopez suggested people change them by reading a book every day because according to him, a book was the the most loyal friend to bring and encounter every time and everywhere.
Related to TaiLopez's assumption, In my perspective, a book is the absolute heritage. I remember when I read the novel written by Jostein Garder under the title "The Magic Library". One of the actors is named Nils. He said that " a book is a means to connect the generation living today with the generation who will live for thousand years later". It is the nice cite we can learn how important the book is. As conclusion, I dare state that a book is valuable heritage which must be maintained its existence. | arisandy14 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wonder-busy-people-working-able-read-book-day-71433/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi arisandy14,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.... always invited him to ~~go to~~ the library.----> went to (past tense)
2.~~Based on Tailopez's argument, he said~~ that no much time was one of the reasons ...----> He argued (better make this simple)
3.... title of this speech, I ~~am~~ curious to listen directly.----> When the first time I read the title of this speech, I was curious to listen directly. | Dioba | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wonder-busy-people-working-able-read-book-day-71433/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Arisandy,
You already have a good summary however, summary is the main point from the speaker perspective not from your perspective. Probably it will be better if you avoid to use 'I'. (you need to straight to the point, many words are good but you need to narrow your idea)
is are
a book was the the most loyal friend to bring and encounter every time and everywhere. I think it is not past tense but present tense.personswere ( singular/plural)
~~always working~~
I hope those suggestions are useful to improve your summary
cheers | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wonder-busy-people-working-able-read-book-day-71433/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Arisandhy, the followings are my thoughts regarding your writing.
... this speech, I am curious to listen ( to it) directly.
... how the busy people ~~always working are~~will be able to read a book every day.
... consider that reading books is ~~the~~a difficult activity).
Thank you. Keep writing. | Fitri12 | Sep 28, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/wonder-busy-people-working-able-read-book-day-71433/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
A new report is released by the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 90% of the world's population areas are contaminated with pollution within unsafe stage. As the result, in 2012 there is more than 6 million people died due to illness related to air pollution. In some countries, such as Africa, Asia and the Middle East, found that are getting worst pollution. This matter continues to increase in line with economic, industrial growth and rise of car ownership. It also has impact for low and middle-income countries, where there is 90% of global death occurred. However, not every countries that have high-income are free from this problem. Around 15% of cities in the America and more than 60% of cities in Europe do not meet the WHO standards. On the other hand, scientist also found that air pollution able to affect everything that related with pregnancy to brain functions. | David54 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-article-unsafe-air-pollution-levels-71436/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi David,
Interesting article! Here are my feedback:
A new report (**about demographic)** is released by the ...
(It is revealed that) more than 90% of the world's ...
....in 2012 ~~there is~~ more than 6 million people ...( there are)
Good luck with your writing progress! | kiev | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-article-unsafe-air-pollution-levels-71436/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
A baby who has three biological parents was born in the world. Although the practice was known as controversial technique, doctors from U.S team based in Mexico applied genetic mutation to born a healthy baby.
Shaban, the baby's mother, carries gens for Leigh syndrome as genetic disorder. Her first two children could not be saved from birth because of Leigh syndrome even though the mother was healthy. So she decided to get help from the New Hope Fertility Center in New York.
The doctors at the institution advised to do 'spindle nuclear transfer. Shaban's egg was removed and inserted it into a donor egg which had had its nucleus removed. Then the egg was fertilized with her couple. Nine months later, the baby was born since it was implanted in Shaban's womb. When the baby's mitochondria were tested, the result showed that less than 1% Leigh syndrome was found.
Since the baby grew up, the doctors always monitor the baby to make sure that the levels of the Leigh syndrome remain as low. | Ucha MSN | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/first-baby-dna-three-parents-born-world-71429/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Ucha,
Although the practice was known as controversial... [be carefull in your collocation]
May you change the sentence: the baby was born by using a controversial technique which the doctor team applied a genetic mutation....
... the baby was born since ~~it was~~ he or she implanted ...
When the baby's mitochondria ~~were~~ are tested,as the result showed that it less than 1% Leigh ...
hope these help | PHA2016 | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/first-baby-dna-three-parents-born-world-71429/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The charts present water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world. It is important to notice that water usage in both San Diego County and California had the biggest percentage in the residential sector. Meanwhile, the water usage in industry sector had the lowest percentage in both territories
Overall there are 2 territories: San Diego and California and will be the rest of the world. In San Diego County, the residential sector had the significant proportion with 60% or about three-fifth from total water usage, and the agriculture sector had a minority with 17% or just less than a fifth from total water usage. Meanwhile, in California, the residential sector also had a significant proportion of 39% or about more than a third of total water usage and the agriculture sector had a minority with 28% or about more than a quarter of total water usage.
On the other hand, the agriculture had the significant proportion of worldwide sectors with 69% or more than two-thirds of total water usage in the world. And, the residential sector only had a minority with 8% or less than one in ten of total water usage in the world.
* | Yonathan | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/water-usage-california-biggest-percentage-71430/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Yonathan, Here several inputs for your writing.
The *pie* charts present water usage in San Diego, California and the ~~rest of the world.~~*worldwide in general*
It is important to notice*(better you change these words into Overall, it can be clearly seen* that water usage in both..
~~Overall there are 2 territories: San Diego and California and will be the rest of the world.~~*Overview is not part of body* In San Diego County, the residential sector had ~~the~~ significant proportion with 60%...
~~And,~~*Moreover, or In addition,* the residential sector only had...
**Good luck!** | fauzankrn | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/water-usage-california-biggest-percentage-71430/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The graph illustrates the consumption 3 types water used (residential, industry, and agriculture) in 3 regions. The figures are compared to amounts of water used in San Diego, California, and worldwide.
As an overall trend, the two regions showed different water consumption from the worldwide average, while residential has the largest in San Diego and California. Agriculture has the largest consumption in the worldwide.
In particular, residential consumption was the highest in San Diego, accounting for 60%, which followed by industry at 23% or nearly a quarter, and agriculture at 17%.
Likewise, California used residential in the largest proportion of 39%. Industry showed a third of figure. Agriculture was used at 28%.
In the worldwide, both residential and industry were used the least in this period with percentages of 8% and 23% respectively. Agriculture used in the worldwide showed the largest proportion, nearly seven in tens of all consumption, or accounting for 69%.
* | erwiin1 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/compare-water-usage-san-diego-71437/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi erwin,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.~~graph~~ . ----> that is the pie chart, not graph.
2.Industry showed a third of ~~figure~~ . Agriculture was used at 28%. ----> figure is to general. maybe you can mention second pie chart.
3.The ~~graph~~ illustrates the consumption~~3 types water used~~ (residential, industry, and agriculture) in 3 regions.----> not talking about many types of water, but what are used water for. | Dioba | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/compare-water-usage-san-diego-71437/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Erwin,
The graph ~~illustrates~~shows whichis the consumption 3 types (...) in ~~3~~ three regions. The figuresthere are compared ~~to~~ by amounts of ...
~~As an overall trend~~ started to the two ~~regions~~ countries are showed different ... [pay attention in pluran and singular noun]
Likewise, California used residential in the largest ...
Agriculture was used at 28%. [avoid reduntant word, you mentioned 'used' twice you may write another word]
nb: in writing task 1:
Introduction, overall/summary
Body 1
explanation
Body 2
explanation
hope these help | PHA2016 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/compare-water-usage-san-diego-71437/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Currently, there is a new study about why people whose partner are happier likely to be healthy. 2000 married couples are being respondent over six years, from 2006 until 2012 and found that people who are informed a happier spouses also noticed have feeling better. The reasons why these might be happened. Firstly, a happy spouse will take care their partner carefully. Secondly, husband or wife with positive sensation is more getting comfortable to do their activities well, such as eat better, exercise regularly, sleep on time, and doing other constructive things in near future. This reason is strengthened by Bill Chopik, an associate psychology professor at Michigan State university, who said "happy people drag their spouses out of bed to go exercise, and they encourage them to eat healthier". Moreover, happy pairs make their relationship enjoyable to avoid their partner feel stress so it can improve the health of their lover. This study generates an output that the effect is available for wives and husbands, so sharing love is a great way to keep healthy. | David54 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-article-happy-people-make-spouses-71403/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Helo david,
you have done great, let me give you some suggest
... study about why people ~~whose~~ (who had a )partner are happier likely to be healthy.
... until 2012(.) ~~and found~~ the result shows that married couples ~~who are informed~~ are ~~a~~ happier ~~spouses also~~ noticed by ~~have~~~~feeling better~~ better feeling they had after.
Good Luck :)
Best regards, Tami | fauziyahtami | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-article-happy-people-make-spouses-71403/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi David, it's my pleasure to share. Your writing is pretty good,since I found only slightly mistakes.
Currently, there is a new study about (or regarding) why people whose partner(s) are happier likely ...
2000 married couples are /have been/ being respondent over (...) noticed have feeling better(better feeling) .
Thank you. | Fitri12 | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-article-happy-people-make-spouses-71403/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
The pie charts represent and compare information about using water in San Diego, California and the Worldwide. It is important to notice that resident had been the highest user of water in San Diego and California. While agriculture had been the least percentage of using water in both of them. Overall, it opposite result in worldwide that agricuture dominated water to use by people.
In San Diego, using water reached at around three-fifths for resindential part. It had been fullness of percentage of using water. This case also occured in California that reached in level at around 39%. While agriculture had been the lowest percentage at approximately 17% in San Diego and 28% in California. And industry positioned in the middle that used water at around 23% in San Diego and 33% in California.
A part of previous comparison, agriculture dominated using water more than industry and residental demanding at around more than two-thirds. While opposite with previous result, agriculture had the least percentage at approximately less than one in ten. And same case within San Diego and California, industry was still in the middle position at less than a quarter.
* | Alamsyah Ismail | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/water-usage-major-city-west-usa-based-71428/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi, Alamsyah ismail..
Let me give you some advice..
... water in San Diego and California~~. While~~ while agriculture had been (...) using water ~~in both of them~~ . Overall, it shows the opposite result in ...
... level at around 39%~~. While~~while agriculture had been ...
~~And industry positioned~~Industry was in the middle position that used water ...
~~While opposite with previous result~~you could use : *on the other hand, on the other side, etc* , agriculture had the ...
~~And~~At same case within San Diego ...
Good Job..
I hope it could be helpful | Sari Trisna | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/water-usage-major-city-west-usa-based-71428/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**WRITING TASK 2**
**Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.
Discuss both those views and give your own opinion.**
Maintaining health for everybody has been realized as paramount important thing to be applied, even now it has done by some people, and the other people still think that healthy lifestyle is not that easy to be implemented. There are arguments on both sides of this issue and I will discuss them now.
Some people believe that healthy life implementation is easy to be started. It depends on people intention in changing it into habitual. Controlling daily intake, keeping fit by taking an exercise everyday are easy things if it had been a kind of habit. Even though they may face some difficulties at the beginning they intent to start it, due to their big ambition in applying active lifestyle, they will enjoy it. People who doing healthy diet believes that by having healthy life many advantages that they get, such as prevent obesity, food addictive, and food poisoning.
Conversely, those who think that in this globalization era, so hard to have a healthy life. It refers to some factors, such as many kinds of fast food are available everywhere. It makes them prefer to consume substantial meal because of the rush hours they have, hence no time to waste think about food. Additional factor is people's difficulties to find the right time to take an excise. It encourages them to have unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle which is bad for their physical and psychological condition in the years of come.
Overall, I feel that there is no undoubtedly reason states that healthy lifestyle is not important. Each person has their own way to enjoy healthy lifestyle. Things we need to do are be patient of what we had decided and enjoy the process step by step until it becomes a beneficial habit. | Cachaaaaaaaa | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-believe-healthy-life-implementation-71416/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Russell.
Let me help you to finalize your essay. In this moment, I only focus on your contents in the essay. Please, check it out.
, and the other people still think that healthy lifestyle is not that easy to be implemented
You should not harness "and" because you wanna describe something contradictive.
..............even now it has done by some people. BY CONTRAST, THERE IS AN OPINION THAT healthy lifestyle is not that easy to be implemented......
*Turning to your thesis statement, you should mention reasons why people encourage the first and second opinion briefly. It can give general description what you review in the body paragraph. That can be represented by one or two words.*
keeping fit by taking an exercise ~~everyday~~ EVERY DAY ~~are~~ IS AN easy thing~~s~~
In the first body paragraph, you offer the opinion, but there were not supporting sentences strengthening yours. Apart from that, you explain effects of the healthy life ~~" they get, such as prevent obesity, food addictive, and food poisoning"~~ although it is not essential information and did not encourage your mind.
Hopefully, those can improve your essay..
GOOD LUCK | akbarmappiare | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-believe-healthy-life-implementation-71416/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
worland
A conference in Montreal will be held this week to invite all negotiators from around the world discussing and composing a framework to limit future aviation emissions. It also a hope of all citizen to lead a significant step toward the climate change. All of those negotiators has a same goal to cap emissions when the agreement would give strong impact in 2021, requiring airlines to find ways to grow without polluting. All of those plan can not stand alone, they must be supported by advanced technology and more efficient airplane. Many airlines companies also hope for a mandatory International carbon offset program to meet the remaining need. Although, this stemming emissions in aviation in particular presents a difficult task, however all officials from more than 50 countries, such as the United States and China do support and hope that an agreement will be reached by the conclusion of the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) conference in early October. Moreover, last year this goal was enshrined in the Paris Agreement. All in all, all of these agreement address to keep global temperatures from rising more than 2`C above pre-industrial levels by 2100. In the other word, all resident around the globe expect the authority commit to fight climate change by holding hand in hand. | Iedha01 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-aviation-emissions-next-target-fight-71425/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello fasidah.
these are my vantage points about your summary. Hopefully, those can help you to finalize yours.
GOOD LUCK :D
... negotiators from around the world ~~discussing and composing~~ TO DISCUSS AND COMPOSE(You have to understand the meaning which you wanna write. Make you sure that what you write is what you mind. There needs to infinitive) a framework ~~to~~ REVIEWING ABOUT limitING future aviation emissions. It IS (Each sentence needs a main verb) also a hope of all citizen ...
All of those negotiators ~~has~~ HAVE(pay attention to verb agreement) a same goal to cap THE emissions when the agreement would give A strong impact in 2021...
All of those planS cannot stand alone~~,~~ BECAUSE they must be supported by AN advanced technology and A more efficient airplane.
Although~~,~~~~this~~ THESE stemming emissions in aviation in particular present~~s~~ a difficult task, ~~however~~ all officials from (...) do support and hope that ~~an~~ THE agreement will be reached by the ...
All in all, all of these agreementS address to keep global ...
... all residentS around the globe (...) commit ~~t~~ o fightING THE climate change by ... | akbarmappiare | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-aviation-emissions-next-target-fight-71425/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
*A conference in Montreal will be held this week to invite all negotiators from around the world discussing and composing a framework to limit future aviation emissions.* .... will be held this week inviting all negotiators from all around the world to discuss and compose a framework of future aviation emissions...
It also a hope of all citizen to lead a significant step toward the climate change.
no verb . it is also a hope of all citizens ......
All of those negotiators
you may write 'invitees' to avoid mentioning 'negotiators' several times
All of those planS can not stand alone, .....
Many airlines companies also hope for
Although , this stemming emissions (...) a difficult task, however all...... [redundancy]
..... support and hope
repetitive
. All in all, all of these agreementS address to keep global ...
In the other wordS , all residentS around the globe expect the authority commitment to fight climate ...
still need to concern on several minor issues, especially in accuracy. lexical resource also needs to enhance while just like the word form chosen | RAY93 | Sep 28, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-aviation-emissions-next-target-fight-71425/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Obesity become the number one of killer that give rise to death. Bad lifestyle, less aware are the things cause this situation.
From pupils until adult in United State of America, all of them, do not care about what they eat, and almost the eatery offers fast food. Like a chain, people already rely on their comfort habit.
The fact is, all of food they eat having highly processed, lack of fresh food, additives, not enough veggies. And the result, they should spend much money in hospital because of decease, if they change their way to eat, sooner they will get health.
Some cases happened in pupils, the horrible things are they did not know the fundamental things, such as how to cook, name of veggies, and many more. if children can cook by their self, they would be love to eat fresh food than fast food, because cooking is interest and make them have more knowledge.
Finally, reducing patient of obesity can begin from health lifestyle. Parents have role to educate their children to consume food made by their self. | Giansy11 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/dangerous-catastrophe-america-71415/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Giansy
Let me give you some advice...
Obesity become (becomes) the number one of (a) killer that give ...
From pupils until adult in (the) United State of America...
... spend much money in(the) hospital because of ~~decease~~(disease) , if they change ...
Parents have (the) role to educate their children ... | Yonathan | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/dangerous-catastrophe-america-71415/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Obesity has become *[using present perfect]* the number one ~~of~~ killer [*what killer? you may need to say*'killer disease' ] that giveS rise to death. pay attention in some basic grammatical rules, particularly subject+verb agreement or singular/plural issue
Bad lifestyle, less aware are the things cause this situation.*bad lifestyle and less awareness about healthiness are the causes of this situation.*
**poor paragraphing and coherence. you need to train to compose your summary in form of one or more paragraph with a good flow/coherence rather than mention sentence one by one**
From pupils until adult in United State of America, all of them, do not care ...
*most of pupils and adult American citizens do not care about what they eat while their dietary consists mainly by fast foods*
The fact is, all of food they eat ~~having~~have been highly processed, lack of freshness~~food~~ , contain additives, and ~~not enough~~less veggies. ~~And~~*as*the result, they ~~should~~might spend much money ...
,... sooner they will get healthy.
Some horrible cases happened in ~~pupils~~students , ~~the horrible things are~~ since they did not know ...
**attach the link of article you summarized or do not change the article title so that we can also read the source** | RAY93 | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/dangerous-catastrophe-america-71415/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**Travelling To Work In Houston, Texas**
The table shows percentage of travellers per form of transport and average age of traveller. The bar chart shows CO2 emissions from different from of transport. There are four types which are car with one people, car with more people, cycle or walk and train or bus.
The most common transport is passanger which 48%. However, passangers had less percentage than self driver which 11%. In other hand train or bus is slightly different amount of percent which 37%. Meanwhile, cycle or walk is the least form transport which 4%.
While, public transport is the higgest average tourism which 47 years olds. Then the lowest average of traveller is cycle or walk which 39 years olds. But, average of passanger is only one year difference of proportion than self driver. Self driver and passangers 43% and 44% respectively.
Neverthless, CO2 emissions the most pollution from self driver 0,31. It was related for the form of transport because the amount percentage high too. Then, the lowest pollution is from cycle or walk. This is also related for the form of transport because less number of the percentage.
Overall, if too many using form transport it would be effect of contribute CO2 emissions that from vehicle.
* | andika08 | Sep 15, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/table-shows-percentage-travellers-form-70789/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi! I have some advice for you:
*The most common transport ~~is~~used by passenger which has 48~~%~~percent is automobile.*
*shows the percentage*
*There are four ~~types which~~transportation mentioned those are car with one people, car with ~~more~~several people, cycle or walk~~,~~ and train or bus.* | kiki23 | Sep 15, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/table-shows-percentage-travellers-form-70789/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hi dikha ^^
i will give u some correction
\*pay attention to write the words with correct spelling
\*ignore repetition words, for instance: you can change passenger to commuter
and self driver can write with using hyphen self-driver
also write years old without ~~s~~ point out that is plural "years " shown it.
and ~~CO2~~ =>CO˛
However, ~~passegers~~passengers had less percentage than self driver 11%. ~~In~~on the other hand (...) different amount of percent ~~which~~by 37%.
... the least form of transport steady only 4%.
~~... average tourism which 47 years olds .~~ => while, the highest average age of commuter traveling by vehicle is 47 years old.
Then the lowest average of ~~traveller~~travelers go to work by cycle or walkof a 39 years old~~s~~ .
~~But, average of passanger is only [...] and passangers 43% and 44% respectively.~~ =>while, self-driver and driver with passenger have a year different in age
hope it helps ^^ | eve01 | Sep 15, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/table-shows-percentage-travellers-form-70789/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hello andika08. here i left my suggestion for you.
The table *shows* ==> (you can paraphrase the word with illustrates, describes, intences) percentages of travellers per form of transport ...
The bar chart shows CO2 emissions from different from of transport (emissions from different transport).
... car with one people, car with more several people, ...
In other handOn the other hand, train or bus is slightly different ... | Att98 | Sep 15, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/table-shows-percentage-travellers-form-70789/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
When she is chosen as a Hijabi model, a model who wears veils to cover her head and hair, represents the way a muslimah gets dressed, Mariah Idrissi believes that something small is able to give major impacts as the people around her start questioning her decision. How do you feel?, how is your parent's response? why women (muslimah) are forced to wear hijab?, why do men make you wear hijab?, why you are pressed but still follow the religion?, Is there something wrong with the fashion industry?, are the common bizarre questions she deals with.
Mariah comes up with a logical explanation that a muslimah who wears hijab is not a representation of pressure. By wearing hijab, she is still able to be her own self. Hijab is not a limitation in doing positive activities. She highlights that she does not need the validation of Social Media or others regarding her appearance. Hijab is the way of beautifying women in Islam as well as a part of today's fashion industry.
Source: youtube.com/watch?v=1CJThRWoXt4 | Fitri12 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello Fitri12
I have a twice advice to you, please pay attention if you wish
that something small ~~is~~ able to give major impacts
**.......that something smal be able to give major**
impacts ~~as~~ the people around her start questioning
**.........collocation of *impact* with *on/to*** | Alamsyah Ismail | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hi..
i just want to give slight suggestion for you..
~~represents~~[representing] the way a muslimah gets dressed,
>> because you mentioned it in the first sentence, it has to be gerund..
thanks.. i hope it helps.. | rizaldohabibie | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Fitri12,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.When she waschosen as a Hijabi model-----> past tense.
2.that a muslimah ~~who~~whom wears hijab is
3.By wearing hijab, she is still able to be her ~~own~~ self. | Dioba | Sep 27, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hai Fitri12
You've done well, but there are several inputs for you.
... head and hair~~,~~**.**~~r~~**R** epresents the way a muslimah ~~gets~~ dressed, Mariah Idrissi believes that something small **action** is able to give major (...) around her **that** start questioning her decision.
By wearing hijab, she ~~is still~~ able to be her own self.
She highlights**???** that she does not need (...) or others regarding **for** her appearance. Hijab is the way of ~~beautifying~~**beauty of** women in Islam ... | rasedasda24 | Sep 27, 2016 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
When she is chosen as a Hijabi model, ~~a model who~~*[repetition] wearing veils to cover ...
you may write : when she is chosen as a Hijabi model wearing veils to cover her head and her hair in order to represent the way a muslimah gets dressed, ......
How do you feel?, how is your parent's [...] bizarre questions she deals with.
[i]this just like shopping list, you mentioned each questions even it is not to subtle to do so. indeed, you can add more important facts to make your summary more valuable and informative*
*in the rest of your summary, it just shown less minor errors while you had composed it well using a mix of simple and complex structures. good luck and keep writing* | RAY93 | Sep 27, 2016 | 5 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-changing-face-fashion-mariah-idrissi-71345/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**In some countries, the number of people who are using bicycles as their main form of transport is decreasing, even though cycling has too many benefits.
Why is this?
What can be done to encourage people to use bicycles as their main form of transport?**
It is a fact that riding bicycle is good for our health and it is an environment-friendly mode of transportation, but the number of user still decrease.
Discouraging number of people use bicycle caused by the variety of transportation. For instance, cars able to transport a number of people rather than only one as well as bulky time. Faster, comfort, and the facility of car, can make employee enjoy their time, when they want to work. This situation gives rise fewer person to use faster transportation than bicycle.
In addition, car can more effort more than single at the time, and the elderly or those that need to converse their energy for they work.
On the other hand, encouraging more people to cycle will reduce pressure on their car-parking facilities and, as cycling may be faster in rush hour traffic, get more workers to sit, on time more often. There are several ways to invite citizens using bicycle than other transportation for working, such as, provide safe cycle training, ensure they have security facilities, raise awareness of benefits of cycling, supply bike-way in huge to make them easy to across the way, and provide maps of cycling routes with journey times. These ways and benefits might be changing people way to use bicycle.
To conclude, bicycle more beneficial inside to work than car do it, with providing facilities. Hopefully, it can increase the user of bicycle as a main transportation for working. It can be clear to see the benefits for cycling more than car, also the drawback is less than car. | Giansy11 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/done-encourage-people-use-bicycles-main-form-71405/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Giansy
Let me give you some advice...
It is a fact that riding (a) bicycle is good for our (...), but the number of ~~user~~ (users) still decrease.
(The) Discouraging number of people use ...
Faster, comfort, and the facility of (a) car, can make employee ...
... to use faster transportation than (a) bicycle.
In addition,(a) car can more effort more ...
... ways to invite citizens using (a) bicycle than other transportation...
Your summary is great actually
Thank you... | Yonathan | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/done-encourage-people-use-bicycles-main-form-71405/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***The pie chat below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons relevant.***
The pie chart provides an information about the main caused by unproductive farmland. Closerly look, the table another explanation based on their region. Overall, raising animals in the openland caused the highest number of degradation and the region who did it the most is Europe.
Based on the data, there are three major factor which divided the chart more than one per quarter. The highest percentage among the others was using land for animals in wide area so they can easily eat grass. The second factor was illegal lodging about 30 percent . However, other factor got the smallest percentage in under ten percent.
Dividing area of how the land degradated, the table put three regions. With the total farmland lost, Europe ranked the first position with 23 percent and still became number one for cutting the tress from the forest and over cultivation. The shocking result came from Oceania which this region had zero percent cultivation although the last position of degradation land was secured by North America.
* | dinartika19 | Sep 4, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/land-degradation-pie-chart-provides-70529/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hallo, dinartika13. I have suggestion for you.
The pie chart *provides* ==>(you can paraphrase the word with describes, illustrates, shows, intences) an information about the main ...
Closerly look, what do you mean? the table another explanation ...
Overall,**it can be seen that,** raising animals in the openland ...
... there are three major factors which divided the chart...
... smallest percentage in under ten percents .
... Europe ranked the first position with 23 percents and ... | Att98 | Sep 4, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/land-degradation-pie-chart-provides-70529/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Teachers are needed for everyone, for basketball players, tennis players, gymnasts, or bridge player. To get better, we need advice from people. The teacher is the one who should get advice as they have a responsibility to educate the nation's future.
Until now, almost 98 percent of teachers are just getting comments with one word: Excellent. Now, many areas are being changed the way they evaluate teachers, but we still did not give them feedback to help them improve themselves. Teachers deserve better. The system that we have today is not fair for them, also for the students.
Let's start by asking who is the good teachers. Unfortunately, there is no international ranking table in the feedback system for teachers. So I look to countries where their students academic rank pretty good, and see what they do to help their teachers improve.
Let's look at the places with the best academic performance: Shanghai Province in China is the best place in the affairs of education. One key to the success of Shanghai is how they help teachers to constantly improve themselves with their system. They made sure the junior teachers got a chance to see senior teachers work. They have weekly study groups where teachers get together and talk about the ways that work. They even requires each teacher to observe and give advice to their colleagues.
why a system like this is important? Because there is so much diversity in teaching. Some teachers teach more effectively than others. So we need a system that helps teachers to be the best. What kind of system it later? our foundation has worked with 3,000 teachers across the country region through a project called Measuring Effectiveness of Teaching. Observers watch the video of teachers who are teaching and assessing how the teachers teach. And we found very interesting. First, the teachers that worked well during the observation has a much better student. So we know the questions we got it right. Secondly, the teachers in the program said that the video and the survey of these students is a diagnostic tool that is very useful for those with very specific show sides that they can fix to improve teaching strategies, teaching methodologies, classroom management and I, together with all the different sides of my classroom.
Impact for teachers will be enormous. Finally we have a way to give feedback and also how to proceed. This system will be able to ensure that our students get a good education, find a job that is fulfilling and rewarding and got the chance to realize their dreams. | kiroro | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-bill-gates-teachers-real-help-coach-71399/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
*Let's* start by asking who is ...
~~So~~ thus, I look to **the** countries where (...) see what they do to ~~help their teachers improve~~ improve their teacher ability.
*Let's* look at the places with ...
*They* made sure the junior teachers got ...
*They* have weekly study groups where
*They* even requires each teacher to ...
~~So~~ Therefore, ~~we~~ people need a system that ...
... who are teaching and assessing **also**how the teachers teach. ~~And~~ Next, ~~we~~ people found *very interesting*.
~~So~~ Thus, ~~we~~ people know the questions ...
... of these students is a diagnostic tool*that* is very useful for (...) show sides*that* they can fix to improve teaching **which are** strategies, teaching methodologies, ...
You can use another words in the repeated words.
You can explain what the interesting part in second paragraph at line four. | andika08 | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-bill-gates-teachers-real-help-coach-71399/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
probably it can become the corrections.
the sentence "They even requires" is better to be changed "They even require".
the word "why a system like this is important?", we can make it "why is a system like this important?", because it is question word.
the sentence "the video and the survey of these students is" can be changed to be the video and the survey of these students are" because the subject is plural
and I, together with all the different sides of my classroom, where is verb? you can add verb after I.
thanks.. | arisandy14 | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-bill-gates-teachers-real-help-coach-71399/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Until now, you can use 'up to now 'that better
The system that we have today is unfair for them, also for the students.
They even require~~s~~ each teacher to observe and ...
i hope it can be able to help you ..
good luck | bismillah | Sep 27, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-bill-gates-teachers-real-help-coach-71399/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Kiroro,
Your essay is really inspiring. Thanks for that, as a teacher, I do agree with your statement as you say "the system that we have today is not fair for teachers and for students too". Your statement is really described a real fact about teachers at this entire globe, espesially in my country, Indonesia.
As far as noticed, I only found one sentence that seems awkward. Let me show you
-The teacher is the one who should GET ADVICE as they have a ...
I think you should change the words GET ADVICE become GAIN KNOWLEDGE
Thank, I do hope It's useful for you. | Iedha01 | Sep 27, 2016 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/summary-bill-gates-teachers-real-help-coach-71399/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers.
Do you agree or disagree?**
## both, workers and employers can benefit from the work-at-home system
In the advance of technology, in current era, some employers decide to run their business online, so the workers can independently work at home. There are several reasons why I believe that it is beneficial to both sides.
The first reason for this is that it saves time for employees and the employers. In this modern era, the workers working at home can do their jobs and send as fast as click of a button, and the employers can instantly receive them in the same way. In this way, both of them do not have to spend any time to commute from their home to their workplace. Holding a meeting has come with no issue, because they can have it via online-video-call system, namely Skype, so that it benefits to both, and they do not have to waste their time on transportation.
Economically, it also saves money. In employers' view, they can save the budget up by having a virtual office, because they do not have to rent a building as a workplace. At the same time, the workers do not have to pay for tickets or buy fuels, and also they can have a freedom to do whatever they want when they do not have much work to do, for instance when they are done with their job, they can do their hobbies, have a quality time with their loved one, do their chores or even take a side job.
To sum up, it is advantageous to both sides. Even though, the are disadvantages, they are a really minor matter. In this technological period, workers and employers can benefit from this system, bringing them to the efficiency of time and money and time flexibility. | Joniputr4 | Sep 28, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/benefits-work-home-jobs-employees-71421/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Joniputr4,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.In the advance of technology, in current era,----> i suggest you to use "In this era in which advance of technology has been spreading"
2. The first reason ~~for this~~ is ~~that~~ it can saves time for ...
3.... because they can ~~have~~ it via [...] because they can do it via ...
be careful with punctuation. | Dioba | Sep 28, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/benefits-work-home-jobs-employees-71421/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***
These days, healthy lifestyle has become a trend among most of inhabitants. What kind of food they eat, how many time they go to gym and what yoga course they take are being concerned mostly by the majority of citizens. Thus, this new trend eventually lead them to a healthy life even though another group of people find it is still difficult to be run.
Many people assume that healthy lifestyle means improving lifestyle cost. Consuming oorganic food, for instance, is something that is considered asa luxury. Besides, bad habit like consuming junk food which has been being done by most people also takes big role of the reason why live healthy life is difficult. Nevertheless, I am convinced that it is not hard to live healthy lifestyle as long as the subject itself has a strong willing for it.
On the other hand, some societies find it easy beacuse they only need to be discipline to live healthy life. Exercise, taking some rest, and balanced diet are the main points that build healthy lifestyle, I think. People do not need to go to gym to do exercise, even walking pass some metres around office to find a restaurant in break time can be counted as an exercise. It is as simple as that.
All in all, it seems that the intention determines ifhealthy lifestyle is difficult or easy to be run. Either he/she is busy or not, they first thing should be questioned is how far someone wants a healthy lifestyle. | Hujjatul19 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hi friend i have some suggestions for your essay
how many times
Consuming ~~o~~ organic
bad habit is like consuming
like has to meaning are verb and adjective
some societies find it easil y
i hope it can help you
good luck | bismillah | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Hujjatul..
i have no doubt that you are great in writing, but lemme give you some corrections.
... and what yoga course they ~~take~~ are being concerned (double verb)
... lead them to have a healthy life even though ...
Consuming ~~oorganic~~ organic food, for instance (where? ), is something... (make it clear) that is considered as a luxury. | Giansy11 | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Husnul, I have a few remarks for your concluding paragraph.
Conclusion
- ~~All in~~Over all, it seems
- that the ~~intention determines if~~determination to have a healthy lifestyle is difficult
- Either ~~he/she is busy or not, they~~way, the first
- thing to be done should be questioned
- is, how far can someone
- ~~wants a~~go for a healthy lifestyle.
There you have it Husnul, I concentrated on the last paragraph on your essay as I believe that this is the part that needs improvement. Overall, you made quiet a strong and well managed essay, you made sure that all the necessary points are covered and you highlighted the facts following your claims on being healthy and living a healthy lifestyle. I believe that, indeed, with all the choices we have in choosing our diet, it's a struggle to eat and choose a healthy diet and at the end of the day, the choice we make is the person we become.
I hope the insights and remarks help in your revision and should you need further assistance, do let us know and we will be here for you. | justivy03 | Sep 27, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
~~These days~~ NOWADAYS, healthy lifestyle has become ...
... eventually lead them to HAVE a healthy life even though (...) difficult to be ~~run~~ DONE.
Either ~~he/she is~~ THEY ARE busy or not, ~~they~~ THE first thing THEY should be questioned ... | Ucha MSN | Sep 27, 2016 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hallo Hajjatul
These following correction are suggested for your writing :
... become a a trend IN SOCIETY ~~trend among most of inhabitants~~ . What kind of food they eat, how ~~many time~~ OFTEN they go to gym and what yoga ~~course~~ they take are being concerned BY THEM ~~mostly by the majority of citizens~~ .
... though another group of people ~~find it is still difficult to be run~~ (Sound littlebit awkward ).
... means increase ~~improving~~ lifestyle cost. Consuming o organic food, for instance, it is something ~~that is~~ considered as~~a~~ luxury food.
Nevertheless, I ~~am~~ convinced that it is not hard to live healthy ~~lifestyle~~ as long as t~~he s~~~~ubject itself~~ having a strong willing for it.
... discipline to live healthylife . Exercise, taking some rest, and balanced diet are the main points that build healthy lifestyle, I think.
**Note:
Please bear on your mind about miss spelling, and sentence cohrency, avoid repetition,**
Thanks
Best Regard
Ifan21 | Ifan21 | Sep 27, 2016 | 5 | https://essayforum.com/writing/people-think-having-healthy-lifestyle-71410/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
***Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.***
your feedback is so welcome ...
Most people believe lives in the modern era with cutting-edge technology makes society complicated to keep fit with a good lifestyle. Others said it easier for human to be healthy if people have a strong desire. I tend to agree that technology makes citizen have more invention to maintain their health.
Sophisticated technology makes people's lives more convenient. This is one of the most reason why people careless about their healthy because human was spoiled by device. For example, using technology such as smartphone makes people unnecessary to visit their siblings because this device is help to stay at home and use some applications to send a messages. As an impact, people seldom doing some activities or move their body and finally feel unwell. There is no doubt that excessive usage of technology can also damage the eyes due to screen of smartphone.
On the other hand, most people still preserve their condition to keep fit eventough human routines always accompanied by cutting-edge technology. This is because people realize that to maintain health is important. For instance, utilize some applications in smartphone to help and upgrade terms of exercising. Consequently, a lot of people still protect their health such as running in the morning weekend
Overall, the public should not be affected by the latest technology, health aspects are also essential for people's circumstance. Although human are spoiled by technology, it is not to be affected to move. After that, usage restrictions are also important because of eyesight problem. | ryan31 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/keep-fit-modern-era-71411/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Most people believe THAT ~~lives~~ LIVE in the modern (...) technology ~~makes~~ CAN MAKE THE society ~~complicated~~ BE COMPLICATED to keep fit with ...
Others said it IS easier for human to be ... | Ucha MSN | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/keep-fit-modern-era-71411/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Last week, Hungarian conservationist started to relocate Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to relocate them to safety. Vojvodina mole rats are very rare species with around 400 individuals left in the world and inhabit only in Hungary and the province of Vojvodina in Northen Serbia. Hungarian government are planned to build a new solar power plant outside the Kiskunsagi National Park where some of mole rat population live.
Otherwise, Hungarian government erected a fence to deter refugees from entering the country. The fence could physically isolate the mole rat population in half and will speed up its extinction. To overcome this problem, the rangers already build an artificial burrow half a meter below the surface. meanwhile, conservationist are lobbying the government to restrict development of the solar plant on the site of the largest mole-rat population. | Yonathan | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/refugee-fence-solar-plant-may-wipe-71420/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Yonathan,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps useful for you.
1.started to ~~relocate~~ Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to relocate them to safety ---->started to relocated Vojvodina mole rats as part of an effort to moved the to safe place
2. 400 individuals left in the world and inhabit only in Hungary and the province of Vojvodina ...----> 400 individuals left in the world in which inhabit only in the province of Vojvodina, Hungary in Northen Serbia
3.Park where some of mole rat population----->Park where some of mole rats population | Dioba | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/refugee-fence-solar-plant-may-wipe-71420/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**The chart below gives information about Someland's main exports in 2005, 2015, and future projections for 2025.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.**
The bar chart shows three goods exported from Someland in the past, and the future measured in billion dollars.
As seen, export for dairy products dominated Someland's export in 2015. This is projected to be overtaken by International tourism which will outnumber in 10 years later.
Almost 5 billion US dollars of dairy products were exported from Someland in the initial year. In the following year, this figure reached a peak at nearly 8 billion dollars which meant that is experiences the most significant increase among others by virtually 3 billion dollars although this is predicted to decrease slightly for over 7 billion dollars in 2015.
Another noticeable export over 3 different years is international tourism which presents an upward trend begun with over 6 billion dollars. This sector will become the highest number of Someland's exports in the former year which rises by 2 billion dollars during period given by the graph. Meanwhile, export of meat products will decline rapidly from 4 billion dollars to just under 3 billion dollars in the future projections.
(175 words)
* | ekalamarsyari11 | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/three-goods-exported-someland-past-future-71412/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Eka..
In this time, I focus on your contents solely. Actually, this is a good job, but I wanna give you a few suggestions to enhance your score.
dominated Someland's export in 2015
I feel there is an odd situation. That is an overview, but you describe the period detailed. Following that, why you only mentioned the condition in 2015 whereas meat products also dominated in 2005. You should find the other general situation. It can be represented like this
ALL COMMODITIES EXPORTED TO OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE INCREASED SIGNIFICANTLY. HOWEVER, THERE IS AN ODD CIRCUMSTANCE WHERE A SECTOR OF INTERNATIONAL TOURISM IN A PROJECTION IS GOING TO SHOW A SMALL DECLINE.
lmost 5 billion US dollars of dairy products were exported from Someland in the initial year. In the following year, this figure reached a peak
*I remember that I ever told you about the prompt of the writing task1. In this matter, your job is to compare the figures relevant. You cannot describe them separately. Turning to the first body paragraph, it is clear that you only review about one figure. That seemed that you play safely. It doesn't matter if you do that, However, you cannot reach the score more than 6.*
I hope these can help you. You should review my notes and make it alarm for you when you write task 1. My point is that you have to have a bravery to compare.
Keep Fighting..
GOOD LUCK
:D | akbarmappiare | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/three-goods-exported-someland-past-future-71412/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
*This summary is extracted from an article published on the New york time, on June 2015. The original title is " Dating with schizophrenia".*
Michael Hedrick shared his experience about living with woman who suffer schizophrenia. Hedrick is a writer in Boulder, Colo. His love story began through the soul mate website called match.com. He made a long conversation with the girl he finally loved after they meet. Actually Hedrick is a kind of man who is easily to fall in love. Although this memorable relationship should be ended due to the fact that Hedrick was paranoid of being insulted by other people. He states that the biggest difficulty living with schizophrenia is a rather crazy feeling that comes from his paranoia, moreover when he also gets too much pressure about his job, it supports him feel more stressful. Now, Hedrick prefer to be 'mantra', a kind of person who do not chase any girl but just stay cool to impress the right girl. | Cachaaaaaaaa | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/dating-schizophrenia-experience-living-71417/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hey Chaca....
You've done a great job, these following corrections are subjected to you :
MichaelHedrick,writer in Boulder, Colo, shared his experience ... ~~Hedrick is a~~ . His love story began through the soulmate's website ...
... he finally loved after they m~~e~~ et.
Although ~~this~~ their memorable relationship (It is better if you change this into "their" possession ) should be ended due to (...) by other people (may you need sometimes to change common word into less common "sorrounding/college/peers etc." ).
... biggest difficulty living with woman suffering schizophrenia is a rather crazy feeling ...
**Note
It is please to correct your essay, your writing easy to understand and great** | Ifan21 | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/dating-schizophrenia-experience-living-71417/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
**Why You Should Talk to Strangers (TED Summary)**
In our daily life, we often meet strangers or our neighbors in the street and we greet them with meaningless greeting. Nowadays people have a mindset that strangers is culprit, they can injure us and we should to be wary to them. On the other side, most of them have warmhearted. On top of that, people still think that to be friendly with strangers is weird action. Of course, It can be difficult to make interaction with strangers, however, using that perception is the easier way . The upside that using our senses better than fears is that we can gain intimacy in terms of lead to emotional resonance and meaning. The research shows that people usually feel more enjoy when they are open their inner selves to strangers compared their friend or family. Because it is easy to share story with someone that we never meet again, so it has lack consequences. People also obtain a pleasure experiences when we could tell our whole story. Despite the fact that we need to be kind to strangers, there are some rules depend on where do you live and we must realize when we should be friendly or not. | Sari Trisna | Sep 27, 2016 | 0 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-life-meet-strangers-neighbors-street-71357/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hello sari,
Nowadays people have a mindset that strangers ~~is~~ are culprit, they ...
... however, using that perception is the easier way .
The upside that using our senses better than fears ~~is~~ that we can gain intimacy ...
The ~~research~~ data shows that people usually feel ...
People also obtain a pleasure experiences when we could tell our whole story.
hope these help | PHA2016 | Sep 27, 2016 | 1 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-life-meet-strangers-neighbors-street-71357/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi sari, here is my thought
Nowadays, people have a mindset that strangers ~~is~~are culprit,
using that perception is the easie~~r~~t way
The upside ~~that~~of using our senses is better than fears ~~is~~ that we can gain intimacy in terms ...
so it has lack of consequences.
That's it. I wish it could be useful.
Best Regard | Aris05 | Sep 27, 2016 | 2 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-life-meet-strangers-neighbors-street-71357/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
hi sari trisna,,let me see and give you some advices
..., we often meet strangers or ~~our~~~~neighbors~~neighbours in the street and we greet ...
Nowadays, people have a mindset that strangers ~~is~~are culprit, they can ~~injure~~hurt us and we should to be ~~wary~~worry to them.
... people usually feel more enjoy when they ~~are~~ open their inner selves to strangers ~~compared~~than their friend or family. Because it is easy to share a story with someone (...) so it has lack of consequences.
#you use a simple way and sentences more,,you have to increase your ability to build sentences | mdamanhuri77 | Sep 27, 2016 | 3 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-life-meet-strangers-neighbors-street-71357/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |
Hi Sari Trisna
there are some rules depend on where ~~do~~you live and we must realize when we should be friendly or not. (Be consistent on your subject)
People also obtain a pleasure experience~~s~~
Keep doing your best | Cachaaaaaaaa | Sep 27, 2016 | 4 | https://essayforum.com/writing/daily-life-meet-strangers-neighbors-street-71357/ | essayforum.com_writing_ |