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derek-thomas

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dataset-creator-reddit-amitheasshole

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The story begins somewhere in 2020. My parents separated and my dad started disappearing, sometimes for days at a time. I (F25) was honestly suspecting what was going on, that he found someone new, and obviously had nothing against that, what bothered me though was that he would hide her from me and my sister. After about two years I got so done with his stupid fucking secrets that were completely unnecessary and cut contact with him, because honestly, I felt disrespected. How come that woman knows everything about us (I know because sometimes I would catch him talking with her on the phone), but we still don't know who she is? But before I cut contact, I also had gotten her number and told her everything I think about this situation. And them both. And of course, the text bombing began, they wouldn't leave me alone. They would guilt trip me into forgiving them, especially her, she would write me some long ass messages about how I will totally regret cutting my dad off, and my dad wouldn't stop yapping about how wonderful she is and I will regret not getting to know her (wtf dude, where was this energy 2 years ago). I also only then learned that all this time, they were building a house. Yes, he was building a house for her and him and hid it from me. He probably realized I was serious about cutting him off, because I wouldn't respond for about 4 months. He didn't stop. So I finally gave in. She would also sometimes text me, for Christmas or other occasions, or when I would get into an argument with my dad she would always think her opinion about this was important, even though nobody asked. Trying to play mommy. If you looked at the texts she would send me, she seems like Mother Theresa, constantly talking about forgiveness, about how I just have to "deal with it, because life is like this" and she's not rude in any way, but I just can't fucking stand this bitch and told her this many times. They really want to mend things, or at least it seems like it, it seems like they're genuine, but I just can't bring myself to like her and I have days when I regret forgiving my father. Sometimes I feel like the asshole, because I don't want to give in and pretend we're a jolly family. But well, too little too late. Could have thought about it 2 years sooner. AITA for hating her, holding resentment towards my dad and not giving them a chance to fix things even though they seem genuine? I don't want to get burned twice.

xxxxxjxxxxx

AITA for not giving my dad and his girlfriend a chance?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5ifn/aita_for_not_giving_my_dad_and_his_girlfriend_a/

18a5ifn

Over the past three months, my husband's sister has been staying with us until she got back on her feet. As part of her contribution to our household, she generously offered to babysit our kids, including our 3-year-old son with autism and with both delayed speech and language, without expecting any compensation. However, about three weeks ago while she was babysitting, our son managed to slip out of the front door without her awareness, wandering around for approximately half an hour before a concerned individual alerted the police. Rather than immediately notifying my husband and I about the situation, she spent an hour searching the neighborhood before involving law enforcement. We only became aware of our son's disappearance after she had already found out that the police had picked him up and safely returned him home. There's uncertainty regarding whether she would have informed us if the police had not explicitly instructed her to do so. In the aftermath I asked her to leave our home. My husband believes that my decision to kick her out was overly severe, labeling it as an honest mistake that could happen to anyone. He also emphasizes her lack of alternative living arrangements, arguing that it was “unjust” to leave her with nowhere else to go. She put my son’s safety at risk and broke my trust and I can’t get over that, but I can’t shake what my husband said. Now I feel terrible about putting her on the street. AITA?

anonymouspersom383

AITA for kicking out my sister in law after she lost my son while babysitting

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5kxa/aita_for_kicking_out_my_sister_in_law_after_she/

18a5kxa

My SO and I have had fights before where I am going to some sort of event without them and they would like me to come home earlier as they sleep better with me there (particularly when there’s an exam or something coming up). We were already in a fight on Saturday and my SO decided not to come to my work holiday party as they have a big exam on Monday. While I was out, they asked me when I expected to be home and I replied saying 11:30. They replied essentially saying that I’d be sleeping on the couch then. Now we haven’t really talked all day other than to fight. They’re upset at me for telling people that they didn’t come because of the exam as well, as opposed to just saying they couldn’t make it and leaving it at that. AITA in this situation? Or is their expectation of me coming home earlier reasonable?

Same_Ad_9780

AITA for staying at work holiday party late?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5qhr/aita_for_staying_at_work_holiday_party_late/

18a5qhr

My (30f) grandparents (82f and 82m) live on their own even though my grandmother has developed severe dementia. My grandfather can barely take care of himself (health issues) but insists that he can take care of grandmother too. Grandfather has had many falls over last year (uses a cane, doesn’t use it correctly, refuses to use anything else) Recently fell over again and is in hospital for at least 2 weeks. The problem is now someone needs to be with grandmother. Grandmother refuses to leave, refuses to have a ‘stranger’ in her house ( a nurse, carer etc), will only allow family to ‘keep her company’. My mother asked me to sleep over for a night and it was awful. Grandmother kept asking where Grandfather was. Every minute. Not exaggerating. She has 58 secs memory. Wrote a note to give her after hour of answering and that worked until Grandmother got mad that I ‘wasn’t telling her anything’ and refused to read the note. We went to bed at 9pm but she kept coming into room to see where grandfather is / to offer me blankets/tea. Finally fell asleep until 2am where the cycle started again for 2 hours. We both got up at 6am. I was so tired but my ‘shift’ didn’t end until 11am when sister (21f) came. I know Grandmother can’t help it but is it very frustrating answering same question for hours. Also hard to stay calm when she’s angry and yelling. My mother asked if I could look after grandmother until grandfather came home. I feel this is unfair because of my health issues. A few months ago I was diagnosed with chemotherapy induced cardiomyopathy. My heart is not pumping well. The meds make me dizzy and sick. It’s gotten better but I still get dizzy sometimes. I need proper rest/sleep because otherwise I get severe chest pain. Anything too strenuous emotionally or physically results in severe chest pain(not heart attack, body adjusting to meds). Have to take pain meds. After grandma I had chest pain for 3 days. Docs don’t know if meds will work so had to give up studies for year at least (I was VERY upset after having give up study before cos of cancer). Now I’m stuck at home trying to get better. Why IMBTA. Family is two grandparents, their two daughters + husbands and 4 grandchildren (aunts boys, 18m, 19m). My mother, father, uncle and aunt work so they cannot look after Grandmother, sister and one cousin have uni/work + other cousin has school. I am the only one available to look after Grandmother during the week. My family thinks it will be best for me to stay with Grandmother because ‘I’m staying at home anyway’. I am extremely upset because it’s not like I don’t want to go to do stuff I PHYSICALLY CANT. I think that family should do ‘shifts’ and help look after Grandmother, taking off uni/work etc but now I’m being called ‘disgustingly selfish’ because I don’t want to do it by myself. AITA?

TealNexus

AITA for refusing to take care of my grandmother who has severe dementia for 2 weeks by myself?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5rhe/aita_for_refusing_to_take_care_of_my_grandmother/

18a5rhe

I (16F) celebrated my birthday on Friday. The plan was that my friends and I would go out and celebrate/hang out after school, then go back to my house for cake and a few of them were sleeping over. We were headed to this one spot I always go to on my birthday and we were going to meet my best friend (who goes to a different school) there. On the way, Jenna and one of our mutual friends, Ellie, drove past. Now, I’ve know Jenna the longest out of my friends, but she and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms. Jenna was one of my best friends and we were close. We’d been friends since around fourth/fifth grade, and when we stopped being friends it really hurt. The end of last year, we just stopped talking. It boils down to I thought she was mad at me, and she thought I was mad at her. I reached out a few times, but I didn’t get much of a response. A couple of my friends know both sides of the story but none will tell me what she thinks exactly, but they have said apparently Jenna was shit-talking me and it “wasn’t very nice.” We pretty much just avoid each other now. None of my friends seem to understand why I don’t want to be around her. I have no problem with them being friends with her, I just don’t like how they act around her. It’s very obvious they like her more, and when she’s around they all either ignore me when I speak or act like I’m an idiot when I do. She got close with them at the start of the year, so she’s always around in the morning and I have a lot of classes with her. When she’s not there, it’s bliss. She was absent for a few days once, and it bothered me when I realized I was so much happier when she wasn’t there. Back to the story, when Jenna and Ellie saw us, they pulled over and my friends started talking to Jenna. I sort of hung out towards the back and waited for them to finish. Jenna asked if she and Ellie could join us, and everyone turned and looked at me. I tried to make up a couple excuses, and my friends kept working around them. At some point, I flat out told Jenna no. My friends were all shocked, but Jenna and Ellie got back in Ellie’s car and kept driving. My friends said that was shitty and that their relationships with Jenna shouldn’t have to suffer because mine failed. Idek anymore. Was I being sensitive? Should I have let Jenna come? I just didn’t want to spend my birthday with her and the people my friends become when she’s around. AITA?

Born_Ease3230

AITA for not wanting to spend my birthday with an ex-friend

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5tnv/aita_for_not_wanting_to_spend_my_birthday_with_an/

18a5tnv

I (25F) and my boyfriend (25M) have been dating for 5 years now and have been living together for 4 years of our relationship. Our relationship is just like any other with us having our fair share of arguments about things related to living together like bills, chores, taking care of our dogs, etc. Recently, our arguments have been ending with me straight up telling him to just "grow up." To explain further, my boyfriend and I have a more traditional type of relationship where he works and I take care of the home and chores while going to school to further my education. He's been very supportive of my decision (I quit my job to go back to school) and said he would take care of our little family til I graduated. Overall, he's an amazing guy - in the military, very social, has lots of hobbies, and recently decided to start a side business that he wanted to pursue for a while now. With him being a very busy guy, I sometimes feel as though he forgets to take care of things at home and in his personal life. By personal life, I mean things that come with adulting and growing up like paying taxes, paying loans, saving money, renewing your driver's license, and all the fun little things that come with being a full-fledged adult. I've been getting on his case for years now about taking care of these things but he seems to brush it off with an "I'll take care of it soon" or "Yeah, I know babe." It's gotten to the point where I end up resorting to this "just grow up" mentality in our arguments so he can realize how bad this has gotten. I sometimes feel guilty for bringing this up to him but he still hasn't taken care of any of the things he supposedly said he was going to do. He argues that he's too busy to take care of these things because he has worked so much trying to support both of us since I left my job months ago. I can see his argument but that doesn't excuse the fact that you owe taxes and don't have a valid driver's license. So AITA for telling him to grow up? ​ ​

nobiababy

AITA for telling my boyfriend to grow up?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a5zwh/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriend_to_grow_up/

18a5zwh

Im trying to write this as honest as I can. I (F underage), think that my punishment for forgetting to open the window after I showered (so it doesn't get moldy) has gotten too far. Let me speak. So yesterday, I forgot to open the window for the shower room. My mother was furious when she found out, and I saw how angry she was, and apologized for my half. Apparently, that wasnt good enough, so she mocked my apology. She then stomped upstairs, told me to clean the whole bathroom, then picked out all of my dirty clothes from the laundry basket, and sent me a text. (Translated to English) "It seems like your not sorry for what you did, so from today, I'm not gonna do anything for you. I wont make food, I wont make lunch, I wont do the laundry, and if I see anything dirty or on the floor, im gonna immediately throw it away. I hope you learn to respect your family a little." Andd yeah. She decided to stop doing all that, and when ever I tried to talk to her, she will mock my apology from yesterday. She wont talk to me, so I decided to write a letter to her to apologize. She refused to read it, and kept ignoring me and avoiding me like a plague. I'm still a minor and I can't work. Its my first day, and I just made lunch for myself. I can't keep this up much longer, and I want to confront her. This has happened a few times before, but that was because i did a grave mistake. Personally, I think the punishment went too far, but this can be seen as discipline too. What do you guys think?

AkurOti_

AITA for thinking my punishment from my parent went too far?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a63ap/aita_for_thinking_my_punishment_from_my_parent/

18a63ap

I live in a student apartment, I have my own room, and my own private bathroom. I’m a guy btw. I live with 4 female housemates who live across my room, they all live in one room, 2 bunk beds. I study in Eastern Europe so 4 students living in a room to save money is common in some places. They all share one bathroom. To put it in a respectable manner, they come from poor families. We all share the kitchen together. 2 weeks into living with the 4 girls and the red flags started waving already. They leave their cooking pots, plates, towels, all over the shared kitchen area (which is not allowed, you are supposed to put your personal items in your private cupboard) so whenever i wanted to use the kitchen, i had to touch they dirty stuff and make space for myself. None of my personal items are in the shared space, it’s meant to be an empty space where we use when we are cooking. I’ve been living like this for a couple of weeks, without ever complaining, always had to move their dirty plates and items to use the kitchen. The disrespect from the girls was unreal, it’s like they forgot that i use the kitchen too. The only reason why i never brought it up with them and told them that i have trouble cooking because of their shit is because i felt bad for them, being poor students. But being poor does not mean you can shit all over a shared area just because you feel like it. They simply don’t care about my inconvenience. Since i’m a very sensitive, shy guy who didn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable, i put up with their habits. It’s been 4 months and since they got used to living like rats, it’s only gotten worse. The cooking stove is EXTREMELY dirty after they are done with their cooking. Oil all over the stove, uncleaned. The remains of their seasonings/onions and sometimes rice spilled around the stove and left uncleaned. And guess what, when i want to cook, I HAVE TO CLEAN THEIR MESS, and i have to clean their oil spills that is stuck on top of the stove. I could get sick from this. They also have a habit of leaving their cooking pots on top of the stove so i basically have to pick it up and put it on the side if i want to use the stove (again, the policy of the apartment is to never leave your personal items in shared spaces, but these girls simply don’t care) And still, I put up with it. My patience at this point has been stretched out too long. I always keep telling myself “They are poor girls, I live in my own room and they are 4 of them together in one room, they must have it hard, it’s not a big deal”. So I do not complain to the building manager about it. If i do, the manager will take it very seriously and depending on the severity of the violation, they may need to pay a fine. I’ve taken several pictures of how the kitchen looks after these girls are done cooking. As proof, If i ever need it. All it takes is one email to the building manager. So, would i be the asshole if i complained about this?

buffoonballs

WIBTA for complaining against my poor housemates?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a65is/wibta_for_complaining_against_my_poor_housemates/

18a65is

I just feel like they're not real. I just feel like nothing online is real. I kinda started accepting them out of loneliness but I never wanted them in the first place. It's just started to take a mental toll on me listening to all these people's problems and though they listen to mine as well I don't feel like I'm getting the support I need. I rubs me the wrong way when one of these people makes a claim about my character when they don't even really know me irl or when they start acting clingy/needy. They don't even feel like real people to me it just feels like I continue to be trapped in my mind.

-Acronym-

AITA for not wanting to have online friends?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a66sj/aita_for_not_wanting_to_have_online_friends/

18a66sj

So I'm super excited that my sister is going to be getting married and was looking forward to going she's having her wedding in another province at the end of May but as it was unplanned I got pregnant I haven't told anyone as I have lost my first pregnancy only a few months ago and I'm scared to tell anyone about it as of right now but the due date is end of May first of June so I well not be able to travel to go to her wedding I do plan on telling her but not until I'm out of my first trimester

baglebite555

AITA if I miss my sisters wedding but am not able to tell her that I can't make it yet I 25f and my sister 31f

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6988/aita_if_i_miss_my_sisters_wedding_but_am_not_able/

18a6988

Today I was supposed to walk my neighbors dog. I went over there and I tried forever to get her to go following the owners instructions. She would not budge. However she went in the backyard and let me play Frisbee with her. She didn't go potty. I told the owner what happened and now she wants me to back over, and bring the dog to another part of the yard where she might go pee. I didn't know of this separate pee area. The owner didnt say anything about paying me extra. I did what I feel I was supposed to do and maybe just suck as a dog walker. I am refusing but don't know what to tell the owner. AITA for not going back over?

Wishmunk

AITA for not going back over clients house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6d88/aita_for_not_going_back_over_clients_house/

18a6d88

I 22M make art for a living, my friend Lilli asked me to design a book cover for the book they were writing. (My art is head and shoulders and this book is going to have one point of view while all the other books in the series have 2 povs) and of course I said yes. They paid me and all was good until my other friend I'll call her Abby heard about this. She said I didn't have to be paid because said book series was free to read and Lilli didn't make money on it saying I scammed Lilli, I replied 'I still need to pay the bills' Abby got mad and said I always do this taking advantage of struggling people. (I have no clue where she even remotely got that from) this made really upset and I inadvertently raised my voice. After that Abby screamed that I was just a scamming f-slur. And she hasn't talked to me in days. Most people say I'm in the right but some people are saying I need to apologize to Abby. So I need to know AITA?

Cat_Suporter

AITA for yelling at my friend for calling me a scammer

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6d8c/aita_for_yelling_at_my_friend_for_calling_me_a/

18a6d8c

In college, I was part of a very toxic student organization. One of the leaders, who we'll call Lauren, was very cliquey and thought she and the organization were incapable of error. I wasn't a popular member of the group and so if she found out there was a girl I liked, Lauren would take her under her wing and apologize to them. And because I wasn't popular, she refused to let me play drums on the worship team, despite the fact that I was better than most of the drummers they let play. (I won't say I was better than all of them, but I was better than many of them.) She also blamed the people on the outside of the group (the unpopular people and the shy people) for being on the outside and said they should become more involved and it was their fault they were on the outside. She cast no blame on the people who excluded them, ignored them, and mistreated them. She, along with the other leader, would choose student leaders for the small group bible studies based on gender norms. Such as she would never let an introverted man lead one because in her eyes it was against gender and cultural norms and thus wasn't 'godly'. My junior year while at a retreat, she had someone give a little speech about how she and the organization, (specifically my college's chapter) didn't hate introverts and knew that they could be good leaders. The guy she asked to give that speech was never a student leader, and it was clearly done for prosperity. If anyone questioned her or the organization, she would demand they apologize and "forgive you" for speaking negatively about the organization or expressing your opinions on its more toxic traits and how it hurt people. There's much more that she did, but it wouldn't all fit in this post. Anyway, she died of brain cancer a couple of years ago and I felt nothing. I simply didn't care that she was dead. A few days ago, I ran into someone from that group and we talked and he mentioned that it was close to the anniversary of Lauren's death. He asked me what I thought, and I said that I didn't care. He said I was being rude and hurtful, and that Lauren was a good friend of his. I said he was always popular and fit her image of what a man should be and so it made sense she treated him well. He said I was being insensitive and left. Maybe I should have handled the situation differently, but I wanted to be truthful. Or maybe I should have changed the conversation instead of answering. I feel like lying wouldn't have been the right option, but maybe I should have. ​ ​

Actual_Albatross_683

AITA for saying I didn't care that someone died?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6gm1/aita_for_saying_i_didnt_care_that_someone_died/

18a6gm1

My fiancé and I (30M and 28F) are currently planning our wedding. It’s scheduled for May of next year. I already have a venue booked and a lot of plans in the works. Here’s the dilemma though, my SIL to be is graduating from college on our wedding day. So we’ve been asked to move the wedding day or time to accommodate the graduation. My MIL and fiancé want to go. I’m proud of my SIL for what she’s accomplished and I want her to be able to attend her graduation ceremony, however changing my wedding date now, would really screw up all the plans we’ve already made. So am I wrong for saying at this point I’m not changing our special day?

sapphireblueyez

WIBTA if I don’t change my wedding date?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6l8y/wibta_if_i_dont_change_my_wedding_date/

18a6l8y

I was sitting with my sister eating dinner and my father was cooking for the weekend because we came down to visit and my Dad decided to make some food for us if I went sitting and eating and I didn't like the food so I quietly spit it out into a napkin so no one can see it and got up to kind of throw it away because I personally don't eat that when my dad saw what I did he got mad he started like ranting about how I'm wasting food and the food he made were like sliders that were two bites you take two bites and it's done so I looked at him and I quietly said well who's going to eat it after I take a bite out of it I mean it's pink in the center I don't eat that like that I like my meat fully cooked and he just like throws a fit about how I'm wasting food and complaints to the family that I'm just a brat so aitah?

Pain_young_royals

AITAH for not eating what my dad cooked?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6o72/aitah_for_not_eating_what_my_dad_cooked/

18a6o72

Let’s start that back in the late 2000’s I was a single person and was in a relationship with a separated man. Ended up pregnant and despite all that we ended our relationship and I was 6 months along. Even though there was attempts to talk things out. We never reconciled and I did file for child support immediately after our child was born. He has only seen his child once, which was about 10 days after he was born. He paid child support as ordered through those first several years. However, I did meet an amazing man and we wed. He raised my child like his own. Supportive financially, emotionally and treated him like his very own. Only once did the ex attempt to exercise his visitation rights but did not end up wanting to because the court has “special visitations orders” that had to be met prior to taking him on over nights and he didn’t want to bother with that. After discussions with my husband, he asked me to stop enforcement of the child support since he “is” his dad in every way except biologically. However, the ex is still responsible for the CS payments, it is just the government is not garnishing his wages to get said payment. It has been about 7 years since we have received a payment. Now to the present… my child’s dad (my husband) passed away a few months ago after 4 years of illness and even though I can cover our day to day living expenses, it would be a great help to be able to get CS reinstated to help with expenses that my child has. Sports, education and medical needs etc. I tried reaching out to the biological father, via phone call and text but I never received a response. My last text message from him was about a year and a half ago about new insurance cards. He has kept my son on health insurance this entire time, as have I since his isn’t that great in coverage. Since I received no response, I reached out to his sister to see if I had the correct number still. All I wanted to ask him for was for financial assistance for our child, but this is why I wanted to speak with him: I know that both of his child from his previous marriage have now graduated and are over the age of 18 and he is no longer financially responsible for them per the courts and I know that the max amount of CS I would be able to get is $2300 due to caps in CS in our state. I was willing to only ask for a portion of that. I have been told by several friends that my biological child’s father has gotten away from having to be financially responsible for too long and now it is time for him to at least meet his financial responsibility to our child since he apparently does not want to be there emotionally and that I was being too nice to be trying to only reach out and have those adult conversations with him and offering to take a portion of what the courts would’ve asked for him to pay. I should just let the court handle it and let him pay the whole amount?

MommaBearAndHerCub09

AITA for deciding to reapply for child support after the death of my spouse?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6qs3/aita_for_deciding_to_reapply_for_child_support/

18a6qs3

For some context, I (17F), had a weird relationship with K (17M) about a year ago. I say that it was a "weird" relationship because we never did anything intimate with each other (not even kissing or cuddling). I really felt no attraction to him at all, and now I've figured out that I'm a lesbian (I previously thought that I was bisexual) which is why we were awkward together as a couple. However, I honestly do miss him cause we used to do pretty much everything together, plus he's just super fun to hang out with. I miss our conversations and all the dumbass shit we did together. I genuinely want to be friends with him, but he's now in a relationship with a girl. I'm worried that us becoming friends and doing stuff together again would make his current gf jealous or mad at K. Cause technically we were dating (kinda??). And since he was attracted to me, would it be wrong of me to want to become friends with him again even though those feelings aren't reciprocated? I also haven't really told him directly about me being a lesbian, but he does know cause we have a lot of the same friends and they told him lmao. WIBTA?

io101406

WIBTA if I reached out to my ex asking to be friends and hang out again even though he's in a relationship?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6qvu/wibta_if_i_reached_out_to_my_ex_asking_to_be/

18a6qvu

I love Disney movies, the nostalgia is the best feeling. My favorite Disney princess is Pochantas, mostly because she was the only non-white Disney princess at the time that looked more like me. However I am not native, I am black/white biracial. I went to a Halloween party in my pocahontas costume and someone commented that pocahontas is a culture, not a costume. My friend agreed. I don't understand why it's wrong. I've gone as other princesses before, and my cotsume was Disney Pocahontas not the real pocahontas. AITA?

Fine-Principle-3983

AITA For going as Pocahontas for Halloween?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a6ret/aita_for_going_as_pocahontas_for_halloween/

18a6ret

I work for a regional grocery store as a manager. It's a fairly small store so only one manager is needed at a time. That day I was scheduled to close after a 9 hour shift. However, that morning I started throwing up and developed a fever. I asked around and the first other manager I called said they would pick up my shift but that I would need to cover the opening manager's lunch. I agreed as there was nothing that could be done. Fast forward to the end of their lunch. I start to leave when I recieve a text. It's the manager that said they would cover my shift. They said that their grandmother was just admitted to the hospital and was in bad condition. I replyed that I understood and that I ask someone else to cover. Problem was there was only one other manager. So it was them or nothing. I called and was told they were out of state with family. They dont have a car and were at the mercy of whoever drove them so I understood. I then called the grocery manager (2nd highest authority), who we'll call GM, before the store manager (highest authority) as I felt it was only appropriate to try everyone before the "big boss". They basically blew me off and told me they cant help because they're in another state and that I should figure it out myself. I then called the store manager... who didn't answer... I texted... no answer. By then it was time for the opening manager to leave and they did. Over the next hour I kept trying to contact the store manager to no avail. During this time I told GM I couldnt contact the store manager. Again they told me to figure it out. I finally had enough and told GM I would have to close the store because I cant contact the store manager and will not work when I'm sick. After 20 minutes they texted me back and said that I couldnt close the store early because I didn't have the authority and that they would try to contact the store manager. Nearly an HOUR later the store manager called me. and said I would "just have to put up with it" and finish my shift. I told them I refuse to work while I'm throwing my brains up and that I will be closing the store if they couldnt cover. They said they couldnt but that I cant just close the store. I said "I will be closing the store now" and hung up. I closed the store and went home to rest. The next day I came into work and was given the cold shoulder and silent treatment by the store manager and GM passive aggressively made comments about my actions the day before. I feel this is very unfair to me and the workers I had to manage while sick and that I shouldn't be made to feel like a bad person. AITA?

No-Statistician-409

AITA For closing a retail store without permission?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a74wx/aita_for_closing_a_retail_store_without_permission/

18a74wx

Me (M35) and my wife (F27) are having a heated argument about rules for our next child. One thing that we have done for our toddler son is that we ask each other for permission before sending any pictures of him out to friends/family. This is something my wife wanted, but something I never agreed with, but have followed suit for the sake of peace. Is this common between parents? AITA for wanting to not have to ask permission to send ordinary pictures of our children to friends/family? Additionally, I have not been able to take my toddler son over to my mom’s house (or anywhere not already contemplated like school) without asking permission from my wife (and vice versa for clarity). I would totally let her know prior to doing so, but i would like to not have to ask permission to do so for simple activities like that. Again, is this a common rule? AITA? ​ ​

FrustratedFather91

AITA for not wanting to ask my wife for permission to send pictures of our son or to take him to family members’ homes?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a766z/aita_for_not_wanting_to_ask_my_wife_for/

18a766z

Yesterday was the night of my highly anticipated parade performance. My family and I had planned to leave at 5:00 P.M. to avoid traffic, considering the streets would be blocked off. Well everything is going fine until the time we have to leave. To provide context: my grandma is a huge smoker and lives in a state where weed isn’t legalized, so when she comes down to California she smokes like it’s her last day on earth and gets high 24/7. Anyways, my grandma was taking her sweet time getting ready, like putting on makeup, and doing all this literally 5 minutes before the time we were supposed to leave. We ended up leaving 10 minutes late. Well we get in the car and we’re about to leave. Since my boss gave my group no specific location to go to I told my mom to just follow my directions and we’d get there in no time. However my mom decided not to and ended up driving in the opposite direction of where we were supposed to go entirely. We ended up driving to another parade because she thought I was going to perform at the parade she performed at a couple of years ago. Everyone in the car argued as I stressed, emphasizing that listening to me could have avoided this mess, given it's the night of my performance, and I have the most information. Amidst this, my grandma threatened to get out the car and walk home. I ignored her the first time as I wanted everyone to calm down, but I got angry the second time because she was making things way worse, and nobody was addressing the main issue: getting me to my performance on time. In a fit of rage unlike any I've experienced, I told my grandma to get out of the car. She looked surprised, as if she hadn't just threatened to leave seconds ago. She screamed profanities, and stormed out whimpering. Immediately, regret struck; we were in the middle of nowhere, and she, a 57-year-old high woman, was by herself while also being blazed out of her mind. My mom sent my 16-year-old sister to babysit her, and they fought, leading my grandma to a liquor store and my sister all alone by herself. In the liquor store, my grandma bought alcohol and started tweaking in a corner like a lunatic, even pacing around mumbling wildly. My sister called me and my mom, still in the car, crying. Her phone died, leaving my teenage sister and my crazed grandma stranded in a liquor store in the middle of nowhere. Fortunately, my sister's location is on her phone, even when dead. My family missed my entire performance, and my grandma's uninvited visit to a friend's house led to her getting kicked out, spending the night on the street. I regret losing my cool; it ruined the night. Now, my family faces potential eviction because my grandpa owns our house and my grandma is for sure going to tell him about this. TLDR; my family along with my high grandma got into a fight in the car and I told her to get out, causing a rabbit hole of really bad events to conspire.

bettermentvlog

AITA for telling my grandma to get out of the car after getting into an argument?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a77sk/aita_for_telling_my_grandma_to_get_out_of_the_car/

18a77sk

I (19 F) am the youngest of my siblings, we had abusive/alcoholic parents and nobody that would help growing up. This is important because it turned us into who we are today and will help you better understand the issues in this post. I watched several of my siblings face really bad methamphetamine addiction. When I was 3 my second oldest nephew (David) was born and placed with me and my parents (his grandparents) for years. My sister (33 att) was finally sober and capable of taking care of him so he moved back with her (he was 10 att). After a few years my sister had a few more kids and now has 5 that live with her(7 in total) no father figure and they all have different fathers that aren’t there very much aside from the two that don’t live with her. After seeming to be sober since getting David back, my sister started disappearing for days on end again, I wasn’t old enough to recognize this behavior when she was previously using, but now I knew what she was doing. She would usually leave David to watch the rest of the kids while she went on benders, my parents were totally oblivious to what was happening, either that or they just didn’t want to believe it was happening again. Well me? Oh I was pissed, for starters you don’t sign your 13 year old up to watch all his younger siblings by himself and take care of the house especially when there are 4 ranging from newborn to 8 years old. The next thing was the fact that she couldn’t even bother texting anyone back to let us know she is even alive. I was livid at the fact that she just left them all alone, I would actually walk there (about 5 miles) to go help watch the kids and make them food and then eventually got my license and was taking them to school and everything. I drew the line when she asked me to borrow her money to pay her electric bills (meaning she was behind). I stopped going over there and helping with the kids and instead I called CPS, which is child protective services, and told them everything. The children were to live at my parents house while my sister goes to meetings and treatment. She also was placed on a no contact with multiple people in the county that were believed to be providing these drugs and was put on probation. My sister didn’t get to see her kids for about five months including holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. Eventually she did get clean again and got them back but she is still pissed at me for reporting her, I truly don’t believe I am wrong for this, especially after she lost custody of two other kids for her addiction previously. (She is 39 now, sober and has custody of 7/8 kids, she got custody of her first born child after this entire ordeal, he is now 18 and moved out, the 12 y/o is now 16 and is in therapy and anger management.)

confessingtomysins

AITA for reporting my sister to CPS and getting her kids taken?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7930/aita_for_reporting_my_sister_to_cps_and_getting/

18a7930

this story started by me and my dad picking up some weed and meeting this friend and taking him to my house to smoke. we symoked a joint and i asked if he wanted water and he said yes so we walk down stairs but instead of going to the kitchen he goes in to my living room with my sister in it watching tv while drinking he lays down on the sofa opposite and a sex scene comes on and he puts a blanket and pillow over his special area so i make a joke (friend) enjoying this a bit too much and i say lets go up and he ignores me and i repeated a few more times and i gave up eventually just layed there but after i while i became uncomfortable with him after another scene came on and said what are u doing bro and pulled the pillow off to see him rubbing down his area and said what the fuck are you doing and he said nothing and this carried on until he lifted it up and i saw his dick and i kept saying go upstairs bruv and he was js like nah and kept saying that finally he came out in the hallway with me and tried gaslighting me by saying ive been ur friend for years why would i do that ext so i decided its best for him to leave i kept relatively calm throughout but wanted to p***h him on the inside and he left the weather was 1 degree centigrade so very cold and after all thid had happened he said that's crazy you would think that delete my number and never talk to me again my mutal mate said thats crazy you would kick him out when its that cold back story for mutal mate known him for years both of us but hes set up a few of our mates and got his boys to rob me am i the asshole?

Fit-Mycologist-6563

AITA my childhood friend touched himself with me and my sister in the room

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7d8c/aita_my_childhood_friend_touched_himself_with_me/

18a7d8c

I'd known Qi for 8+ years. Had a lot of common interests and would meet up often (we live 2+hrs from each other). Qi helped me a lot with my career, and I provided Qi with emotional support as they had difficulties. Qi was in a relationship with someone for 5 years, but it turned sour and eventually, they broke up. Qi said they had romantic feelings for me, and I also had feelings for them but didn't want to say it so soon after their breakup. Eventually, I confessed my feelings and after that Qi and I, at times, got close; it was intimate but not physical per se. Qi went a bit cold on me and said they didn't want a LDR. I was hurt but accepted it. We spoke very infrequently. Later on, I moved to the same area as Qi for educational reasons. They wanted to meet up but I kept avoiding it as it took me time to bury the feelings. Eventually, we met up and it was just like old times: conversations were flowing. I wanted to meet up again, but this time Qi was quite despondent and wasn't talking much. They left quickly because they were meeting someone else later. I was annoyed as I felt like Qi used me to kill time. Things happened and we stopped talking for 4 months, but then started resuming and all seemed good. I had intentions to propose to Qi. Every time I wanted to meet up, something kept getting in the way, but I wasn't too fussed as I felt there was time. To keep a long story short, Qi got engaged several months ago which blindsided me. I only found out via a 3rd party who put pictures up on IG of Qi's engagement party. Qi and I had a phone call and I asked them if they were getting married to which they said yes. They then said 'Why do you ask this? What would you have done if I wasn't getting married?". I refrained from saying anything as I felt it would have been inappropriate. I said "I'm surprised you haven't blocked me". Qi replied "I see no reason for that. I want a plutonic relationship with you". This confused me given our history. A couple of days after the phone call, I sent Qi a long text basically stating that I had intentions of proposing to them (bad on my part) and Qi didn't need to reply, I just wanted to get my feelings out. Few days later they got married. I wanted to be happy for them, but I was left confused. All this time we were talking to each other and at no point did Qi say they had a partner or fiancée. A couple of months went by, and Qi replied to my text apologising for not replying as they didn't know what to say and then asked if I was okay. This triggered me and led to do something bad, exposed personal secrets about Qi to their close family members, in-laws, and their partner. Happened a couple of months ago. We haven't spoken in months. IAMTA for my actions, but WIBTA to apologise after several months? She may have moved on from it already, but I feel bad for hurting someone who was once very close to me.

Erectus16

WIBTA if I apologised to someone I betrayed who's now married

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7ea3/wibta_if_i_apologised_to_someone_i_betrayed_whos/

18a7ea3

Hi folks! So basically the airport is an 1h drive from home, previously they've used (like I do) airport car parking for the past 2 years, but this time they have decided not to, and I feel I've been coherced into giving them a ride back and forth. For the ride to the airport, it aligns perfectly with me, as I do have to go there for university regardless. For the ride back home after the travel, I'd need to wait in the city doing my own thing 9 hours, or go back home and then pick them up (2 extra hours...) I've been called egotistical for not understanding why I have to do it, and not seeing a point on having to wait 9h/2 extra travels just so they don't park the car there as per usual. Plus, my parents say it's normal and even expected to do this kind of things for family. Moreso, that I should volunteer myself happily for it instead of being ok with the idea. AMIA, do i have weird view of family dynamics, are my parents self centered or what's going on here?

D3liverat0r

AITA for not wanting to give an airport ride to my parents?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7h5v/aita_for_not_wanting_to_give_an_airport_ride_to/

18a7h5v

I (27f) am having a baby in a few months and opened a baby registry to help with our new addition to the family. We live a very minimalistic life so I curated everything in that registry to best suit my family, aesthetics, and necessities. Items that are versatile/ multifunctional and that can be used throughout his childhood and teenage life. Everything in that registry was well thought out! My MIL, however, doesn't follow this minimalist life style. Even still, she asked for my baby registry as she intended to help with the baby's expenditures. In my mind, I thought that meant she'd just put the items I picked out in her cart and proceed to buy them...I was wrong. She merely wanted to see what I wanted as suggestions and bought totally different items, designs and accessories. She bought my unborn child a green John Deere Walker when it wasn't in the registry. I politely told her she should just keep it at her house for when we come visit. She then proceeded to buy more items that were not in the registry to which I declined yet again. I may seem extreme ungrateful but truthfully, in my own opinion, we make registries solely to not waste people's generosity and to give people an option to gift us voluntarily something that we will need and use for years to come. However, my MIL doesn't share this sentiment and I don't appreciate her not recognizing that I made that baby registry for a reason. Regardless, I know my MIL's intentions aren't malicious, and that she's just doing what she thinks is best for her first grandson but sometimes I just wished she'd consider our feelings as well, you know? So am I the asshole for rejecting my MIL's gifts?

Least_Construction34

AITAfor rejecting my MIL’s gifts?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7kt5/aitafor_rejecting_my_mils_gifts/

18a7kt5

I (19F) and my roommate (19F), let's call her Amy, are both sophomore students in college. Our university is well-known for being a party school, and going out on the weekends is to be expected from your typical student. I don't like going out personally, but I don't mind if my roommate does. Amy often brings her friends back to eat pizza after without telling me beforehand, but I can excuse it every now and again. We haven't had any conflict until now. Last night she went out as normal, I was in our room playing games with friends online. Amy called me at about 3:30 in the morning asking if I was awake and if 2 of her guy friends could come sleep in our room, saying they had nowhere to go. At first, I felt bad and said yes because I didn't want them on one of the benches outside for the night, but then she told me that if I wasn't okay with it they had somewhere else they could stay. Then I changed my mind and told her no. I had plans that morning to get up and take a shower and do work before an event I was going to early in the afternoon. I'm personally not comfortable changing in a room with random men I don't know. I expressed this to Amy and she kept saying it wouldn't be a big deal and it wasn't a problem, but I told her no. She hung up and I thought that would be that. After I was finished with my last game I hopped in bed but I didn't fall asleep right then. I was facing away from the door but I heard her enter with one of the guys, they both thought I was asleep and were talking loudly since she knew that I'm a really heavy sleeper who wouldn't wake up to pretty much any noise. I didn't know what to do so I just went to bed and decided to talk to Amy about it after he left. I changed my plans about waking up early too since I didn't want to get dressed in the same space as these men. This morning I woke up to the sound of 2 men's voices talking at full volume with her. That made me upset because who wants to wake up with 2 random men talking loudly? I had to wait about an hour for them to leave to take a shower and head to my event. I came back and talked to Amy about it and she made it seem like I was being an asshole for not wanting them in the room since she knows them and they aren't strangers to her. She got upset at me saying this was ridiculous to be arguing about and that we needed to stop before she got mad. Amy said she didn't hear me say no, but even so it's a weird thing for me to be upset about. I explained the showering situation and how it made me uncomfortable since I don't know them even though she does. After this she apologized, but it was the kind that seemed more out of necessity than sincerity. I nodded my head at her. We sat in silence for about 15 minutes not even looking at each other, it was awkward and tense. After that, Amy packed her backpack and left without a word. Was I really making a big deal out of nothing by talking to her about this? Am I the Asshole?

Mother_Definition_55

AITA for telling my roommate I didn’t want her male friend stay the night?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7kub/aita_for_telling_my_roommate_i_didnt_want_her/

18a7kub

I have a dynamic disability. Some days Im fine. Sometimes I can barely walk. Today was the later. I was on a cane. I thought I was being considerate by coming in to do what I could (Front Desk). The side work is usually splitting half of the paperwork/sitting sidework and half of the physical work. I asked if today we could switch and I would do all of the reports and cash if she could take my restocking job. (Lots of bending). I was told that it wasn't fair to make her do all of the physical work and if I can't work then I shouldn't come in at all. The thing is; I could still check people in, do room tetris, answer phones, make resos, run reports. I just needed help with the physical stuff today. I feel like offering to run her reports was a fair trade. But apprently asking this made me not a team player. Edit to finish: Eventually I was just encouraged to go home "because you can't work". So I did. But I feel awful, like I did something wrong. I don't feel like I did though. So AITA?

Reatrea

AITA for asking my sup/coworker to switch some sidework while on a cane?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7l8a/aita_for_asking_my_supcoworker_to_switch_some/

18a7l8a

Our son is 8 and has an incredible curiosity about the world. His first and second grade teachers gave nothing but glowing praise in regards to both his intellectual growth and his demeanor. However, his third grade year has not gone well. His teacher has sent us several emails stating that our son does not pay attention in class and is cold toward his classmates. When his mother and I asked him how school is going, he tells us he hates it. He said "all the teacher does is yell at the class to stop talking, then the kids keep talking and we never do anything and I hate being there." I can see the light fading from his eyes every day and every Sunday night mid-September on he cries because he doesn't want to go to school. My son lives with his mother and spends weekends with me. We all live in the same town and I would describe the relationship between his mother and I as cooperative, but bad feelings persist. I asked my son a few weeks ago if he wanted to change schools and he responded "God, yes." I asked his mother if she would have any issue with me sending him to a highly-regarded private school about 17 miles from our town. She reacted in a way that was not expected. She said I was being ridiculous and that it would be an undue burden on her to take him to a different school (fair) and it would be unfair to her other children if only one of her kids got to go to private school. I added that I would take him and drop him off everyday and pay for it 100% and she still said no. I told her I don't want our son to waste his potential, nor do I want to fail him as a father. In essence, she responded that our son is just being a brat because he's bored. I registered him at this school and paid the tuition. He starts in August. I told him what I had done and he was elated. Naturally, upon hearing this news his mother was apoplectic. All I said was "fine, you tell him he isn't going because you think he's a brat." AITA?

crottesdenez

AITA for paying 21K to send my kid to private school behind my ex-wife's back?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7ner/aita_for_paying_21k_to_send_my_kid_to_private/

18a7ner

My friends and I are going on a trip, and there are 7 of us total (2 couples + 3 single people). We decided to get an Air bnb with 3 bedrooms, one bedroom for each couple and one bedroom for the 3 singles. However one of my friends was expecting to split the cost evenly between the 7 of us, but I said I think it should be split by bedroom (meaning the couples would pay more than the singles). My friend got annoyed and said I was being cheap and over-complicating things. I thought splitting accommodation by bedroom was pretty standard, but now I’m thinking I may be in the wrong. AITA for suggesting we split an Airbnb by bedroom, rather than dividing it equally?

InternationalMango93

AITA for suggesting to split the cost of an AirBnb by bedroom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7p45/aita_for_suggesting_to_split_the_cost_of_an/

18a7p45

My mom (63F) has worked 2-3 jobs for 45 yrs. Since I was 12 all I wanted was to go to college, get a good job, & take care of my mom. My grandfather had 6 kids with my bio gma, 3 b/3 g. He remarried. 2nd wife had 0 kids. They didn't have any together. In the 90s, my fam helped gps build a cabin. My uncles, my mom & aunts' then husbands helped w/build; everybody else did food/cleaning. Gps retired in \~97, served a mission, & then lived in the cabin. While on mission cabin was struck by lightning. Uncles fixed roof. Left ceiling for gpa. While on scaffolding, gpa asked gma for tool, she climbed up, fell & broke her back = paraplegic. They now needed an accessible home. Gpa used my oldest uncle, WS's GC license for permits & subs-nothing else. Middle uncle, RB, installed wood floors. Youngest uncle, Fred, provided handyman help. For payment they rcvd the cabin (worth an est. 60k). Mom/sisters were told they would ea get 20k when gps passed as their part of cabin. Everybody else was told uncles bought it. Mom became gps cleaner & cleaned RB's office in exchange for health insurance. We were very grateful. Mom became gps' caretaker: getting gma in/out of bed, 2 clothing chngs, & cath 2-3 x a day. Paid mom $60/week until 2017 when her avail chngd. Then hired an in-home caretaker for \~$600/week. My gpa lost his mind about the cost, so my oldest aunt, Angel, retired early 2b w/gps M-F 8am-5pm for free since she was getting SSI. \~6 mon later gpa passed & Angel found out she had stage 4 breast cancer. She found lump right after retiring but didn't have time to see doc until gpa passed. Angel passed in 2019. My uncles rcvd cabin in 2000. Fred could no longer afford his 3rd of taxes/upgrades. He asked to be bought out. WS & RB would only pay him 13k, sitting that was all it was worth. \~A year later, WS & RB sold cabin for 200k. Gma died this year- mom asked for copy of estate trust. RB, executor, said "no", came pounding on my door, told me cabin situation, & said giving 20k to his siters was not part of arrangement. He was talk-yelling at me & shuffling trust papers around, only pausing on certain sections. In docs RB showed that Fred was able to buy my gps' house for 350k (worth 800k). 350 would be split evenly after mortgage was paid off. RB said if he had to give his siters each 20k, then there would be nothing left for himself & WS to have. I recently learned my uncles have rcvd other things for them & their kids from gps; like seed $ for businesses, college $, missions, help buying first homes, & more. WS & RB's kids have all been able to go straight to uni after HS. They all started high paying jobs in their 20s. Nearly all kids from my aunts & mom have no degrees & low-medium paying jobs. I'm not mad that my gps invested in my uncles. I'm not mad that my gps only threw my mom/her sisters life preservers. I'm mad that they did those 2 things together & lied along the way.

gen_opp_prototype

AITA for now hating my dead grandparents & uncles?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7pbb/aita_for_now_hating_my_dead_grandparents_uncles/

18a7pbb

Hi, I don't really know what to do but everyone I talk to about this seems to be biased one way or the other, so here goes. This is a throwaway. I (14f) have had a difficult relationship with my dad my entire life. My opinion is that I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him, he will only accept me if I am eternally cheery and greatful, and he blows up easily and is overly critical. I don't fully know his opinion, but I assume it's that I am a grumpy teenager who he needs to discipline into being a good person. I have been in therapy for the past few years. I was dealing with OCD and by my Mom's own words "if it was up to Dad, I'm not sure we would've put you in." Therapy has saved me, so I'm glad she decided to. I started talking to my therapist about the fights me and my dad have a few months ago. She said that we didn't have a normal relationship, I was being verbally abused, and he likely has a personality disorder. Mom has been present in 2 of these sessions and free to talk whenever she wants. I was talking to my mom about an argument we had the other day (he told me to go up and get my sister, I yelled up to her instead, he yelled and then told me not to do that.) Now for context, I think he acted reasonably here, this is definitely not the type of thing I would characterize as verbally abusive, but I was annoyed about it at the time. In my anger I jumped to another thing he did that annoyed me the day before. (I was arguing with my sibling, he said in the middle that one of my comments was "an exaggeration" I asked him calmly afterwards if he could please not chime in during an argument, he said no, it was a public area (the kitchen) and that should be expected). Again, not the type of thing I would characterize as abusive, but I was still annoyed. I know it's been a while, so here is the main part of the story: My mom said something along the lines of "this is what gives your therapist a skewed view". I asked her if she thought my therapist was wrong. She says that my therapist "doesn't see the good parts of our relationship" and she was upset the conversation ever happened. I don't really want to talk to her right now, but I need to know, AITA?

INeedAdvice60

AITA for venting about my dad?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a7qfe/aita_for_venting_about_my_dad/

18a7qfe

Hello, I’ve been with my partner for many years and we moved to SF together recently. We also lived with each other before. We moved to San Francisco because it’s close to her work so she would not need a car. I also love the city as well. I currently have to commute 1.5 hours each way (~3hr a day) to San Jose and back everyday and she works ~ 3 times a week compared to my 5. The rent on our 2 bedroom is $4900/month with a $425/month parking spot. We split the rent evenly but she is adamant that she shouldn’t be paying for parking because she isn’t using the car as much. I take the car during the week and she uses it sometimes when she works weekends but I pay for everything about it (other than question at hand). My reasoning is that our living situation is a whole package that should consider total cost of living decision such as time/commute, need for a car in the first place for each party, etc. For example, if we moved somewhere in the middle of both our commutes, she would also need a car and thus would have much more expenses such as lease, insurance, parking, etc which easily is $1K plus vs the $200 she contributes to parking and total absence of commute. She also chooses Uber (10-12 min) to work and back those days which costs her $400 a month for the 3 days a week. To me this clearly is a great deal for her and I’m bearing the majority of the time and monetary costs here but I wanted to see if Reddit agrees or needs to teach me something. Thanks!

Own-Investigator-925

AITA for charging my long time girlfriend part of parking costs?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a81c6/aita_for_charging_my_long_time_girlfriend_part_of/

18a81c6

I (30F) was rushing to catch a train at a very busy subway station (42nd for those of you in NYC) and nearly stumbled upon a kid of about 13 sitting at the bottom of the stairs and playing a game on his phone. I saw him just in time to avoid tripping over him and yelled at him to move before swerving. As I had missed the train anyway, I then said sorry for yelling but told him that he shouldn’t sit in such a busy spot. His mom then ran up to me and said I shouldn’t be mean to a little kid. AITA?

FantasticSchedule29

AITA for yelling at a kid sitting on subway stairs and looking at his phone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a879l/aita_for_yelling_at_a_kid_sitting_on_subway/

18a879l

I got asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend from college’s wedding in May. I found out 5 months beforehand I was actually going to be in the wedding. A little background - these friends were party friends in college and things never got deep. We’ve fallen off after school and aren’t as close. In college I was seeing their guy friend and I broke up with him. My girlfriends (they are twins) decided to set up my now fiancé’s ex and my ex together. They briefly knew my finances ex and weren’t that close but set them up. With all of this, there was a lot of stress and anxiety created for me because they would often visit me one day and her the next and we couldn’t all hang out - I was fine to all hang out so it wasn’t me saying we can’t. Throughout the years I don’t think they realized how betrayed I felt that they did that and caused an unnecessary rift between us. They don’t particularly like my fiance and he’s not invited to certain things that our exes are invited to together. There are 20 other bridesmaids and we are in a group chat and they want to plan a bachelorette trip in two months to Cancun at an all inclusive for 5 days. Am I the asshole for saying no to this trip and doing the bare minimum as a bridesmaid? I sound so selfish but I really just want to get their wedding over with. I was completely shocked I was asked to be a bridesmaid in the first place (over FaceTime). I was hoping to focus and save money for my wedding in September and now I’m just stressed about hers. I don’t even know why I’m stressed. I guess I just feel not good enough throughout the years as a friend compared to the ex that’s in the wedding but I don’t think I was treated well by them in the past given the situations.

Annaboonanaa

AITA for doing the bare minimum as a bridesmaid?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8bmi/aita_for_doing_the_bare_minimum_as_a_bridesmaid/

18a8bmi

Just had a knock on the door of my apartment. It was guy in his 20s saying that he lives in the apartment under mine and was locked out. He wanted to climb out on the fire escape from my apartment and climb into his apartment through the window below. I said no, mainly because I never seen this guy before and I didn't want to let a stranger into my apartment for any reason. I feel a little bad because Sunday night is a very inconvenient time to be locked out of your apartment. Our building charges a fee if they have to let you back in during non-business hours.

rutfilthygers

AITA for not granting a neighbor access to my fire escape?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8e94/aita_for_not_granting_a_neighbor_access_to_my/

18a8e94

So Last August My mom's brother and my cousins from America came to visit and My Mom hosted them one friday night but an older brother (31M) was a jerk. Initially, he said he has meeting with his coworkers and boss but in Reality, he was in his room video chatting, not in the office. I went upstairs to call him to just at least say hi for five minutes but he said 'IM WORKING'. Okay maybe I will try again in one hour. Im not forcing him to join but at least he should say hi. When I did, he was not talking to anyone and I told him maybe now it's a good time to say hi to the relatives. But he said "I have a meeting in a minute". I told him to pretend to go to the bathroom but he said "A few minutes can sometimes backtrack you by months". I then left the room and said to his face "F\*ckin BullSh\*t". He never left to say hi to the cousins and left after they left. How rude. The other siblings where pissed at him also. The next day. He went to me and told me I was super disrespectful to him because I said Effin BS to to his face. i told him he was being disrespectful to our relatives who wanted to see him but all he said was "You don't know the marketing world, small things can at times backtrack you by months. Stop acting like you know everything because you DONT. These are relatives, they will understand why I cannot say hi to them". He then proceeded to make it more personal "ALL YOU DO IS PLAY PLAY PLAY WITH YOUR STUPID SWITCH AFTER WORK. I DON'T. I LEARN ADDITIONAL SKILLS TO ADD TO MY RESUMES and improve my work OUTPUT. THAT IS WHY YOU WILL NEVER BE SUCCESFUL WHEN YOU REACH MY AGE." I lost it and said "Suck a d\*ck and enjoy it's load you f\*cking "F\*ggot" ". I cannot believe I said the F slur to my brother. I was jsut so pissed so I said something. My SE brother is gay but he doesn't talk about it but I called him a slur. He told me he will never talk to me again. My other brother and sister just laughed when I said the F slur on him because no one talked about his sexuality to him. A few weeks later I came and apologized to him for using the F slur. I told him it is my fault and I should have said something else. However he told me "Will you apologize for saying my reasoning for not greeting relatives is BS?" I told him no. I told him the only thing I am apologizing for is using a slur on him and that's it. I will not apologize for calling him out on his rude behavior at the reunion. TLDR: I fought with my brother because of his rude behavior to the cousins but I accidentally said a slur word to him. I apologized for using a slur and not choosing better words but he expects me to apologize for calling him out. I will not. I said, he does not have to join but at least let them know he acknowledged their presence

Fudgy_Cookie_1996

AITA for not apologizing to my brother for calling him out?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8e9b/aita_for_not_apologizing_to_my_brother_for/

18a8e9b

I f(25) and my partner f(24) live together and have very opposing positions on houseguests. I do not like to host overnight houseguests very often it is stressful for me to have to pick up slack on the increased cleaning, cooking an entertaining so I tend to be very choosy about when and for how long I will allow someone to stay over at my house. My partner on the other hand believes that our door should be open to any family or friends whenever they wish and forever how long they wish. This has been an ongoing disagreement as she tells people they can stay at our home and I put a stop to it if I’m not comfortable with it. Most recently her younger sister came to stay with us for a week because her and her live in boyfriend were not getting along so I allowed her to stay while they work their issues out. It has been a lot of work having to cook extra food, dishes, laundry, entertaining etc. Now that her sister has gone home my partner wants to let one of her friends stay over this weekend and I said no because I haven’t even had a chance to mentally recover from hosting her sister. When I told her I didn’t want to have anyone spend the night this weekend and I just wanted a quiet house to ourselves she got super angry with me and told be I was being selfish. I don’t think it’s selfish to not want to host people at my home all the time but I am second guessing myself because her friend and all of her family agree that I am in the wrong. So AITA for saying no to having houseguests?

Cystals_nCannabis

AITA for not wanting to host houseguests

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8g48/aita_for_not_wanting_to_host_houseguests/

18a8g48

I (24f) have never fitted into a classic girly mould (drama, tomboy, academia kid) and, although I ended up in an artsy school eventually, attended an all girls school initially. I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy and so when I finally made my first female friend around 11yrs old I decided to follow them to an all girls school… big mistake.. We ended up in different classes and she ended up in what I would call the “cool girl group” where I didn’t really click with anyone in my class. Don’t get me wrong I did make friends they were just in other classes.. anyway… the girls in my class took offence from my tomboy non make up approach to life (no shade to make up gals, it’s just not me) and started to single me out. It kept scaling up and up until one day while we were waiting for the teacher they were, movie bully style, standing in a circle around me chanting names, pointing and laughing as I started to cry. Needless to say I left the next year. I ran into a couple of these girls later as an adult and one of them apologised to me for how they treated me, fully expecting me to brush it off and make her feel better. Another said that she never said anything just that the others were her friends but she was sorry now. I told them I didn’t forgive them and left. I’ve heard from a couple mutual friends that I acted like a child and should just grow up and forgive them. Idk though, I was miserable for a whole year because of them but am I just holding onto the past? AITA for not forgiving highschool bullies as an adult?

DPaul123

AITA for not forgiving high school bullies

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8jcb/aita_for_not_forgiving_high_school_bullies/

18a8jcb

I, (16f) was at a school assembly. My school is not a big school but all of us sitting on the bleachers was pretty uncomfortable as we were squished together, I had just gotten back from making an announcement on the floor when i walk up to my seat and one of my classmates (16m) has taken my spot. I ask him very politely to move and he ignores me so I do it again, this time I snap at him. He moves but as he does he says to me “Shut up you vegan bitch,” to clarify, I am not vegan. He sits down on the bench above me and he spends the next 30 minutes of the assembly digging his knee and shoe into my back. I don’t complain because what am I meant to do? Get him to move? At the end of the assembly we stand up and he grabs my bra strap and pulls it back hard. I turn around, glare at him and say “get your fat hands off of me (name),” (name) is plus sized so looking back on what I said was very rude and I do feel bad about it but I feel like he deserved it especially because he has made my life decidedly worse in the past. Immediately someone who was sitting a few seats away from me (16m) said “He’s not fat, he’s beautiful,” or something of the like and bitching to me (plus ignoring that he was harassing me.) They told a few other people and it was whatever and it just sort of died down an hour or so later. So AITA?

maraudersswan

AITA for telling someone to get their fat hands off of me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8kpc/aita_for_telling_someone_to_get_their_fat_hands/

18a8kpc

I am turning 30 this year and my family is starting to go ballistic about our lack of plans. We haven’t done anything “on the day” the last few years (this only started because of COVID, not because I started standing up for myself) - and now they have decided they can’t stand it. Last year, we spent the weekend before my birthday together and I thought we had fun, but the “day” rolled around and I found out they were in fact very much unhappy with how we had celebrated, as though getting together the week before didn’t count at all. My birthday is on one of the December national holidays, which obviously makes it more of an ordeal finding a place to go. Complicating it even further, my partner has a much larger family than mine that always gets together on that day every year, which I know they enjoy being a part of. Their family is local to us whereas my family lives hours north, so making multiple stops the same day turns into hours in the car and on the road. As if it wasn’t bad enough, my partner also has a rotating manufacturing schedule and usually works my bday anyways, so I only get to see them a few hours if that. The only option my family wants to give me is to see them “on the day” or spend any time with my partner of almost 7 years. I have suggested numerous alternate options to celebrate all of which they rejected, only to continue to try and force their agenda. I would spend time with them but don’t appreciate the fact that I get no input at all. AITA?

Traditional_Top_825

AITA for not wanting to spend my birthday with my family?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8luy/aita_for_not_wanting_to_spend_my_birthday_with_my/

18a8luy

I, M (26) have been living with roommates or alone for the most of my 20s and I moved back in with my parents because my mother had a knee replacement surgery and my dad had a nasty heart attack. At the start of the year I was planning to move since I need my own space, but I moved back in with them for this whole year and helped them with finances, around the house and them in general because of their conditons. Recently I mentioned that I'm planning to search for an apartment to buy and their reaction has been quite a handful. I was told I'm being selfish and that I'm only thinking about myself because they will still need help in the future as they're not fully recovered yet. They expect me to be at the house for pretty much the whole time and that I'm always available. Also I was told if I leave the house their will is going to change which I feel is a straight up blackmail. I feel like this whole situation is dragging me down emotionally as I feel stuck in a house I don't want to live at, but at the same time I feel bad if I'm not around to help them in need. I also told them that it's not a problem for me to visit regulary when I'm living on my own, but the responses I get are all guilt trips like, "Who is going to take care of dad when I'm at work" and stuff like that, even though I also work and have my own responsibilities. AITA? I'm sincerely not sure

bloody_ouroboros

AITA for refusing to live with my parents due to their condition?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8nfa/aita_for_refusing_to_live_with_my_parents_due_to/

18a8nfa

I have a 4 year old daughter that I love very much. She was the first grandchild of both sides of her family and has a beautiful personality. A year ago I moved back home because my husband and I needed some time apart to focus on our careers. He visits and sees our daughter but it’s very sporadic because of his work schedule. Rather than finding a new home, I moved in with my parents and they’ve been helping with taking care of my daughter while I’m at work. It’s been great and I am grateful for the opportunity and help. However it’s been getting too much. My mother has developed what I think is an unhealthy attachment to my daughter. The past week my daughter went on a trip with her dad and his family, and my mother was treating me so unfairly. She doesn’t like that we’ve decided to separate as she’s very traditional and sees this as him not caring for his child or me. Me on the other hand doesn’t care. His current work position is temporary and I know once he gets his promotion we will move back in together and move on with our life. I’ve gotten very annoyed with my mother because on the days I have a tough work assignment or need some time to myself, she’ll bother me asking about my daughter. She treats my daughter as if that is her child and I’ve kidnapped her away. I reminded her that this is temporary and she alluded to almost adopting my daughter. She’ll make these comments suggesting that she won’t let me be leave because it means she won’t see my daughter anymore. I guess my last straw was I was trying to plan a vacation of my own for the holidays and my mother did not ask about me but about my daughter. Not in a loving way, but in a way that suggests she doesn’t trust me to take care of my kid alone. She tried to buy her clothes and pack her suitcase. Even so much as to ask other family members to help me with her because I can’t handle it. Maybe it is her way of showing love, but it’s much. When I have voiced that I am uncomfortable and she needs to relax, she responds that my aunt doesn’t help my cousin with her children and I should be thankful. Earlier this week, I came home and my mom thought it was my daughter that turned on the TV but it was me. She was visually upset when she realized who it was. So I yelled at her and told her to stay away from me and leave my daughter alone. Since my daughter got back from her trip, I have been keeping her away from my mother. I feel bad but frankly I am quite too exhausted to deal with this anymore. So AITA? UPDATE with more Info: I guess separated is a bad word to use. My husband and I are together and he is very involved with my daughter. He works on the east coast for a medical company and the decision to move back home (midwest) was because I work in the auto industry and my job pays more back home. He is involved and every 3 weeks has a week off which he spends with us where either I go there, he comes here, or we go somewhere. It just wasn’t financially feasible and going good for my mental health for me to be with him and I’m not working. Yes I am an only child. And Yes I pay for rent. My daughter goes to preschool so while I’m at work she’s there and I do all the picking up and dropping up absent any circumstances where my mom handles it. The recent trip she went on was part of her dad family’s annual trip. I don’t like to be very involved with his family honestly. It works for me to keep a distance from my in laws. Finally, recently the keeping away has been done by just keeping my daughter by me when we’re home. Or if I go somewhere I take her with me. I have been keeping her closer to me and haven’t really allowed for any extra activities with my mom.

Living-Profile-2533

AITA for telling my mother to leave my daughter alone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8nnm/aita_for_telling_my_mother_to_leave_my_daughter/

18a8nnm

AITA for showing up unannounced to my bf’s place after he sent me concerning text? Me (32f) and my boyfriend (30m) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and have known each other for years prior. He’s been through a lot this year with his mental health and with trying to get sober (opiate addiction). He currently stays with his mom to help take care of her since her health is declining, and I have been to his house nearly every day for the past two months. My boyfriend has always made it clear that there’s an open door policy and I’m welcome any time. I’ve dropped by before with little or no notice and it’s never been an issue. Yesterday, we got into an argument about our relationship, and in my opinion, it was a pretty normal conversation but he ended the conversation via text by saying: “I don't know why the whole fucking world is trying to break me. But I can feel it and it fucking sucks. No matter what I say or do, at the end of the day I'm still not good enough for everyone.” I sent him a reassuring text an hour later, this was yesterday at around 2:30pm and I hadn’t heard from him since. I called him once and left a voicemail checking to see if he was okay, but I was super worried he had relapsed, or was otherwise not mentally okay. I waited until 7pm today to drop by, so over 24 hours after hearing from him. His mother likes me and I live close by, but I don’t have her number or have her on social media, so I would have just reached out, but she and I aren’t on the level of that type of communication yet. I get there and let myself in as I always have done, and he has his upstairs area locked. His mother said he didn’t want to see anyone, as he had mentioned it to her earlier. She tried calling him for me and it went straight to voicemail. He’s never not wanted to see me in the past, so I was shocked by this and embarrassed. His mom kind of gently escorted me back the way I came and asked what was wrong, and I just said he had sent a concerning text and then went MIA. She said other people had been trying to get ahold of him today too, and that she’d talk to him. She gave me her number for future reference and said she was sorry and I left. I haven’t heard from him, but am now super paranoid that I overstepped a boundary. Given that I always felt welcome there and there’d never been an issue before, I didn’t feel weird initially about going. I doubt if his mother thought I was a weirdo for showing up that she would have given me her number, but now I’m going down the rabbit hole. I am always super concerned about being thought of as “crazy” but the behavior was super out of character for him, and I panicked. TLDR; thought my boyfriend was potentially relapsing or in a dark place after he sent a concerning text, showed up to his house the next day to check on him and he refused to see me. AITA?

willcaro61

AITA for showing up announced to check on my bf next day after concerning text?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8p86/aita_for_showing_up_announced_to_check_on_my_bf/

18a8p86

: I(34F) had issues with food ever since I was 10. Having a narcissistic mother the only thing I had control in my life was what I ate. Growing up people would ask me if I “ever eat” or “does my mom feed me”. My least favorite was “why do you eat like a bird”. It fueled my issue and made it easy to say f you and starve myself. So of course I’ve been in therapy practically my whole life. Fortunately I have a great support system and the willingness to accept help. Married my husband and moved on his grandparents property after our second child. I gained weight during my pregnancies. I have four kids so I gained weight fast. Every one seemed supportive to me about getting back in shape and just be healthy over all. His grandma always has things to say about what other people do in their lives. I ignored it the first couple years because I figured she was just old and no filter. Fast forward to the beginning of this year. I tragically lost my son in January and unfortunately my weight suffered from the depression. I have been slowly gaining the weight back by eating and exercising. I’m an active person so I’m very proud of myself. These past few weeks she started making comments on my eating habits. She would call me a bag of bones and such a skinny ass. Constantly asking me if I ever eat is annoying as hell. It really started to fuck with me that I noticed I kept talking about my weight or anything related to weight. My husband caught on quick and I told him the comments she makes hurt my feelings. He spoke to her the other day and she apologized. This morning though she walked over to bring our mail and the first thing she says is I know my not suppose to talk about your weight but I am concerned. WTF I told her I can’t help that this is what depression does and she should understand because she lost her son when he was 20. She should know the struggles I’m going through and to make insensitive comments are hurtful. She looked like someone pissed in her cereal and stormed off. I’m starting to feel like I didn’t respond in the right way. So AITA because I’m starting to feel like one.

ConcentrateSimple201

AITA for yelling at my Grandmother in law for my weight?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8xav/aita_for_yelling_at_my_grandmother_in_law_for_my/

18a8xav

My aunt had to go out of town for 10 days on a business trip. She asked me to look after Truffles during that time. Her instructions were on a notepad : \- \[Animal hospital's address\] \- Feed her Royal Canin \- 15 minutes of play time each day. Fortunately, nothing bad happened so I didn't need the address. Also pretty easy to find and get the food. The issue is with the final instruction. On the first day, Truffles managed to rip the feather from her wand toy. It became a choking hazard so I went and bought a new one. It was so cute watching her pouncing on and attacking Santa. At the end of the 15 minutes, she placed her paws on my lap, looked at me with her round eyes and meowed loudly. I guessed she must have been excited by the new toy so I played with her for another 10 minutes. The same happened the next day and all the other days. When my aunt came back, she was surprised at first that Truffles was no longer content with 15 minutes and demanded longer play time. After I told my aunt I gave Truffles 25 minute play time instead of 15, my aunt got very annoyed with me. She said I should have stuck to her instruction, and now she has to spend more time each day after getting home from work.

Leopemxe

AITA for giving my aunt's cat extra play time?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8xh3/aita_for_giving_my_aunts_cat_extra_play_time/

18a8xh3

My (18M) brother (20M) gets together with some friends to play poker every week. They don’t bet serious money, it’s mostly about the “bragging rights”. Last time they all came to our house. I was home and I wasn’t doing anything, so they asked if I wanted to play too, so I did. I’m not very good at it, but I would always win when I was up against my brother because whenever he’s bluffing he rests one of his elbows on the table and supports his chin on his hand. He does this all the time in life when he’s anxious. So as I kept winning, and I could tell my brother was getting pissed, I said it out loud how I could tell when he was bluffing. And then he got REALLY mad, because I exposed his “tell” to his group, and unlike me he’ll keep playing with these people. I didn’t think I did anything wrong, if anything he should take my hint to be more perceptive. Either way, was it an AH move on my part? ( English is not my first language and I don't know if I'm using the correct poker terms here, but I think you could get the idea)

throwaway08671903

AITA for revealing my brother’s tell to his poker buddies?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8xuf/aita_for_revealing_my_brothers_tell_to_his_poker/

18a8xuf

My niece(25f) came to live with me(55m) because her living arrangements back home were chaotic. Shes doing good now, no drugs,has a steady job and even recently bought her first car and thinking about going back to school..... well last week she tells me shes pregnant.... after congratulating her and listening to her excitement...i had to break it to her that i can not and will not live with a newborn.. i just cannot deal with what entails bringing up a newborn child at this point of my life. I have a phisically demanding job and value my rest, peace and quiet...im an old guy,i can barely tolerate her loudness(lol, we joke about her loud voice and clomping down the stairs while im resting) i suggest moving in with her BF of 2 years.......She obviously did not take it very well and called me an AH... so am i the ah?

evoleye13

AITA for not wanting my niece's baby to live with me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a8zg8/aita_for_not_wanting_my_nieces_baby_to_live_with/

18a8zg8

DISCLAIMER: This is a burner account! My father knows of my online identity and for obvious reasons, I don't want him to see this lol For context, I wanted to cosplay Nicholas D Wolfwood from the Trigun series. He carries a giant gun that is in the shape of a cross on his back. This is a defining piece of this character and I wanted to do him justice by making it!! I showed my dad the reference pictures of said cross and he offered to lend me cardboard for my project. I had to rush to make the prop, as the convention was the next day. He saw me work on it for 10-15 hours and even sat down to watch me for 5-10 minutes. When I told him I urgently needed hot glue to finish the piece, he drove me to the local mall to buy some. So it was a surprise to be told by him that he wanted the cross destroyed after the convention. My family is Buddhist, or at least all of the adults are. I am an atheist and would rather follow my moral plane rather than rely on a god but that doesn't mean that I want to disrespect my parent's beliefs. I think objectively that religion is pretty rad :) they didn't force their religion on me and stopped bringing me to church at 8 years old. I first thought that it was because of the two monks that they had as visitors the day of the con that they wanted the cross gone (which is fair, honestly), but I confronted my dad today about it and he told me he wanted it gone because it was "bad luck" and that "only dead people had crosses (on their tombstones)." I worked hard on this prop and didn't want to ruin it myself, so I lended it to a friend to hide for the night and am currently hiding it in my closet. I want to keep it as decor and use it at future conventions since I am a very avid Trigun fan. Wolfwood is a very important character to me and I would love to share that enthusiasm with other Trigun fans I come across at these events. I am just very torn because I truly love my father and would hate to disrespect him in any way possible.

Prestigious_Poem8346

AITA for hiding a giant cross in my Buddhist dad's house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a90v7/aita_for_hiding_a_giant_cross_in_my_buddhist_dads/

18a90v7

I (32/M) have been helping with babysitting my sisters (27/F) 4 month old child. I told them they don't need to pay me because I love watching my niece, I just ask they help with the transportation and food. Normally it's just me and the baby (lets call her "Jewel") so I have gotten used to it being just the two of us. Sometimes Jewels has trouble sleeping, and I have used a myriad of methods to help her go to bed, including singing to her. So far one of the few songs that has worked is the Lullaby from a show called Centaurworld. It has a beautiful but sad melody, but half of the time is helps her to go to sleep. A few days ago I came over to visit my sister and her husband to watch a movie, when their baby started crying in the middle of it. I wasn't as invested in what we were watching so I offered to go and try to quiet her down. I was having trouble calming her down this particular night so I sang the song again but this time in front of her parents. Here are the lyrics: "Hush now, hide, all you little ones Rush now, into the middle of nowhere Singing and laughter will die Dreamless sleep follows the Nowhere King When his kingdom comes, darkness is nigh Quiet, crawl through the in-between Silent, secretive feeling Of fearsome hatred that reaches the skies You will bring joy to the Nowhere King When he sees the light leaving your eyes" I can understand why the parents were horrified by the lyrics, but I honestly was only singing it because the tune is very relaxing, and at 4 months old how would she even know what I was saying? But I do feel bad and I was wondering what you guys would think?

Carasouls

AITA for singing an "inappropriate" lullaby to my 4 month old niece?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a98np/aita_for_singing_an_inappropriate_lullaby_to_my_4/

18a98np

AITA for asking for help replacing damaged and ruined items put in the shed by my (BF) after I asked him not to? I am (32 woman) and my BF (32 man). We purchased our first home last year in November. Since then I have had multiple people bring me/us, things for the home. I work a lot and I don't always get to putting it away or going through it that same day. I ask my BF to just leave it until I can go through it and organize it when I have time later this week. Almost Everytime this happens* I get home from work and find out that he has thrown all or some of the things away and squirlled the rest in the shed. (Our shed is very delapidated and leaks extremely bad) I have asked him multiple times to not put my things in the shed or throw them away without me knowing about it. This fall I asked him specifically not to put the new $200 air conditioner that I spent the rest of my money on, in the shed because I wanted to put it away in the box, and store it in the closet so it doesn't get wet... I came home and found the air conditioner out in the shed, not in the box getting rained on and the box just thrown in there. My mthr brought me some nice antique old bean dishes, a crock pot and a nice cieling fan (brand new about $300) for my birthday. I asked him to just leave it be until I could clean it and organize it... I came home and the box was gone and he said he didn't know where it was... I found it in the shed the next day. Every time I go to work he will put my important/expensive things in the shed and then act like he doesn't know what I'm talking about or he tells me he threw it away. I got frustrated and told him to not touch or put my things in the shed without asking me because I do not want them to get ruined. ( I am not a clutter person so these things are valid and normal and have space to live in the cupboards.) Today I came home and I was looking for the wrapping paper for Christmas I bought a week ago, and he said he has no idea why it's not in the closet where I put it. I go out to the shed to look for the wrapping paper and find that all the things I have asked him to not put out in the shed, are now on the floor of the shed, tucked away right under the shelf where the water damage is most severe. I am completely fed up at this point because he knows that's the worst place to store things and I asked him if he was going to help replace the damaged items. (lets say on the low side equals about $600. Including various other things that were ruined in the process) things that have been completely damaged and ruined non the less. He said no he wouldn't help replace it and laughed and said if I wasn't so lazy it wouldn't have been put out in the shed. And called me a hoarder! Am I the asshole for wanting him to replace the items that were ruined that I specifically asked him not to put in the shed multiple times for this exact reason?! Also side note I have moved all of these items back in at some point and they have all made their way back out to the shed. AITA?

mandlebritt_fractal

AITA for demanding my BF to help replace all of my damaged and ruined things that he put out in the shed after i asked him not to?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9iyv/aita_for_demanding_my_bf_to_help_replace_all_of/

18a9iyv

I (33f) have been with my bf(33m) since 2016. Since we've been together, I have been in charge of the vast majority or household chores and childcare while he works, my stepson lives half the week with us. This arrangement has been fine until recently, things have gotten quite expensive cost of living wise so I decided since my son is old enough to stay home alone now, I would start working again. Ill admit, Balancing restarting my career while keeping up with all the other responsibilities around the house has been kind of difficult but I try my hardest to just put my head down do what needs to be done. Today we were all hanging out, we both didn't work so it was nice just hanging out at home. I spent the day tidying while he and kiddo were playing Xbox. Around 2pm my bf tells me he's hungry. I let him know that I needed to run to the corner store to pick up a few things for dinner and I'd do that as soon as I was done cleaning up. I finished as quick as I could and ran out for the stuff, came back and started dinner. After finishing prepping I put the pan in the oven and decided to do some dishes while I waited. 20 minutes go by and bf comes into the kitchen and asks if it's almost done. I tell him to go peep in the oven to check and I just hear him slam the oven door closed. Apparently I absent mindedly forgot to turn the oven on when I put the food in. I apologized and joked how silly that was of me, I'd fix it and it would be about another 30 minutes to eat. He just silently walked away and then I heard him from the other side of apartment yelling F***. He's been in a bit of a mood ever since and I feel like a huge jerk. I'm worried I might be TA because I really didn't mean to mess up dinner but I admit this kind of forgetfulness and lack of focus is something I have struggled with a long time and going back to work has caused it to flare up again. I just get so scatter brained trying to remember everything I'm suppose to keep track of and space out when im feeling overwhelmed causing me to be a little slower at things. It's a running joke between the corner store owner and I that I must be the most forgetfull person he's ever met because I'll be in there like 3-4 times some days, never remember everything. I do my best to write notes , set timers, double check things but it's still a struggle. Restarting my career has been really fricken stressful, I know it's a ME problem and I need to get a handle on things but i just feel so darn out of it somedays it's hard What would be the best way to apologize? I've already tried a few times but he still seems kinda upset. I really wanted to have a nice evening together but I think I messed it up and nice feel just awful.

Shoddy-Commission-12

AITA for forgetting to turn on the oven?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9svq/aita_for_forgetting_to_turn_on_the_oven/

18a9svq

first time posting on here, i (19M) am just looking for some insight. so i only just started smoking/taking edibles this year with my friends . i always wanted to try but for safety reasons just waited till i was ready. i only used to smoke the stuff or take edibles with friends, and it would be kind of an event(like once a month or so). now i started using it by myself and pretty frequently. i also started hanging out with my friends without letting them know until afterwards(not always but sometimes). i always get a laugh or a surprised “oh but u seem so normal” from them and no one has come to tell me they’re uncomfy. but now i think about it not telling them beforehand/asking if it was ok could be an asshole move of me..again im fairly new to using so idk how one goes about with this. it’s not like i get super loud/aggressive when im using or anything, just like out of politeness, AITA??

Spiritual-Hawk8997

WIBTA for using edibles around my friends?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9tqb/wibta_for_using_edibles_around_my_friends/

18a9tqb

Edit, corrected grammer My friend (23f) for the sake of ease we will call her Danielle, and I ((25m) were hanging out so I could help her with her 2 month old baby and we could catch up. For context I have experience with kids so I wanted to give my friend and her BD a break My best friend (26F) we’ll call her Dixie and this friend were kinda friends (or so I thought) until Dixie sold Danielle her Apple Watch and it was locked. Danielle was frustrated as Dixie gave her radio silence as she was struggling emotionally at the time. Danielle ended up blocking Dixie before she could explain her silence. I mentioned to friend about how Dixie had came over recently to hang out to help me clean as I had been struggling and Danielle asked me how the cleaning situation was going as I vented about it on my close friends story which both her and Dixie are a part of. Now Danielle had mentioned she felt bad about blocking Dixie and wanted to reach out. I mentioned that Dixie may like that as I recently had her over and she had been going through a rough patch and helped Danielle write a message. I then get messages from Dixie and Dixie’s roomate, Alex (27NB). Stating how dare I give out their location because of both Dixie and Alex’s stalker ex partners. Keep in mind I never ONCE mentioned their location. Stating how I shouldn’t have shared that information and that Dixie told me this (which she never did) I also see that Alex had posted vague statuses about the situation when all I did was apologize for not asking prior to giving Danielle the okay to reach out after they both messaged me to have a “serious conversation” I tried to explain my side and neither of them wanted to hear it as they had already made me the bad guy for wanting to help Dixie and Danielle repair their friendship and state that Dixie and Danielle hadn’t spoken in years which to my knowledge, they haven’t spoken since this spring/summer when the Apple Watch incident happened. I then get messages from Alex stating that “to avoid more drama” they’d take down the statuses they made and hiding me from what they post and to not contact either of them until this “blows over” I can’t help but feel guilty, but also kinda mad because of being accused of something I never did ATIA?

Screamingthrowaway69

AITA for encouraging a friend to reach out

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9usb/aita_for_encouraging_a_friend_to_reach_out/

18a9usb

I, 22 NB, and my housemate, 21 NB, both own cats. Our cats are very different in attitude, mine being less social, introverted, and liking her own space while my housemates cat is very social, extroverted, and loves to share space with other cats and people. Despite this they tend to get along just fine. Both cats have known each other for two years now, but since moving to our new house this autumn some things have changed. Over the past few months my housemates cat had started attacking my cat most evenings. He'll chase my cat, pin her or block her in a corner and proceed to bite and claw her while she yowls and hisses, even pulling out chunks of fur at times. Occasionally when she fight back she will do the same. As time has gone on I have noticed a shift in my cats behavior. She is hiding more, becoming more aggressive towards other animals and is less affectionate with others. I know that cats can play fight and sometimes enjoy rough housing, but when both cats are hissing, bitting, and clawing it is obvious that something is wrong. I've tried bringing this up to my housemate, but everytime I tell them about what has been happening or show them the behavioral changes that my cat has gone through they've insisted that the fighting is a two-way street. Because of this view, they've started suggesting that we spray both cats for misbehaving. I've pointed out that my cat doesn't start the fights and shouldn't be punished for defending herself. Now they are mad at me for not making things fair and taking it all out on their cat. AITA?

TheBeesKneesBesMes

AITA For telling my roommate to not punish my cat for their cat's bad behavior

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9ws7/aita_for_telling_my_roommate_to_not_punish_my_cat/

18a9ws7

I’m (28M) subbing as a history teacher in my nephew’s (13M) school. From our first class, he always called me Uncle (First Name), which didn’t bother me personally, but then again, I was never in this position to teach anyone in my family before. Last Friday, my nephew and a friend of his were being disruptive during class, and I went over and asked them to drop it. My nephew started to reply using my name (‘Come on, Uncle…’), and I stopped him right there: “I’m your uncle outside of this school, here I’m your teacher and you’ll address me as Mr…” I said so because I thought it was important to draw this line, so he’d respect me in this situation and see me as any of his teachers. Tonight, I got a call from my sister (37F) – his mother. She said my nephew came home from school upset and now she finally got out of him that I had told him not to call me uncle in school. I explained the situation to her. She says I should have explained things to him from day one, privately, instead of calling him out in front of the entire class. If I did, I would have set the boundaries sooner, and maybe he wouldn’t feel comfortable to misbehave in my presence. Now I’m feeling like I failed here.

throwaway12621902

AITA for asking my nephew not to address me as "uncle" during class?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9yh3/aita_for_asking_my_nephew_not_to_address_me_as/

18a9yh3

My husband is obsessed with the game pickle ball and as a result he has been gone a lot of nights during the week and also sometimes on weekends. On all of these occasions I have not said anything and have been supportive by not making a stink of him going. My love language is quality time and my husband is an accountant and in a month will be mostly absent for almost three and a half months. Tax season is very hard because he works 12 hour shifts and doesn’t have energy to spend much time together. Since we are in the last month prior and have multiple holiday events coming up I didn’t want him to go play tonight. He asked me earlier this week if I wanted to go up to this bar/restaurant where they have pickle ball courts and hang out so he could play. I had his friends girlfriend to chat with but I haven’t always enjoyed the time I spend with her. Trying to be supportive I decided to go so that he could play and did end up having a good time. His delivery of the night however didn’t go how he explained and I felt very angry that he wanted to go play tonight. He told me that at the pickle ball place they would play games but then would be able to hang out for 10 to 20 minutes between matches and that we still would be able to hang out. He spent a total of three hours playing and I saw him maybe ten minutes of the time during those three hours. He says I’m being unreasonable by being upset and that I am holding going last night over his head. I wasn’t frustrated until he last minute told me tonight that he was going to play after we had bought stuff to make for dinner. Since he is already gone Monday evening and Thursday evenings for pickleball already and I sacrificed our alone time to try to be supportive I feel very upset that he would choose to go. AITA for being upset?

Marbietheunicorn

AITA for not wanting my husband to play pickle ball?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9ylb/aita_for_not_wanting_my_husband_to_play_pickle/

18a9ylb

My (16f) mom (40f) has had a long distance boyfriend for about two years now. I never had the best relationship with him, but I tolerated him as he was my mom’s everything. However, about a few weeks ago my mother wasn’t seeing eye to eye with him about moving states to live with her, he didn’t want to leave his home state. She decided between me and my brother, that she would break up with him next time he came up. He drove here the other day and was only staying the weekend, something he normally does. On Saturday night though, he was sitting on the couch watching a show while we were getting ready for bed. For context we have two cats, one newer one that still isn’t quite sure about the place and people. But both of them love attention and cuddles. So as I go to pick up one of the cats as I usually do, I pick up the new cat and attempt to place the cat on his lap from behind the couch. The cat hooks him in the face on the way down and scratches him good, leaving him with a bloody lip. He screams at me and bolts to the bathroom to see the damage, still furious and screaming that I had done it on purpose. At this point I’m terrified I’m gonna get in trouble for something I didn’t mean to do, so I go to my room and hide. The next morning comes around and the house is very quiet, my mother comes in to tell me that her boyfriend has left. She said that he cursed me up and down that I did it on purpose and made the cat attack him, then left and took everything he ever brought to her house. My mother keeps asking if I did it on purpose, to which I clearly tell her no, but I’m not to sure she believes me. My brother is undecided and my mom is still slightly furious. So, AITA?

Wesley_REDACTED

AITA for supposedly breaking my mom and her boyfriend up?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18a9zmf/aita_for_supposedly_breaking_my_mom_and_her/

18a9zmf

(Throwaway) My spouse is great, but our marriage isn't at its best. Consequently, I'm trying to argue less about small stuff and act less butthurt about things my spouse says even if I think I'm in the right. Today while chatting, my spouse said "Oh, I plan to sign our daughter up for a travel soccer team her friend plays on. They practice two days a week in \[city 50 minutes away\]. Their season starts in February so that gives us two months to do private lessons to get her ready." Our daughter has played one season of rec league soccer. We had talked vaguely about her playing again this spring and looking at other options since the rec league is co-ed and that's less fun as the kids get older and some of the boys athletically dominate. While I don't expect my spouse to remember every conversation, FWIW I've shared my reservations about for-profit travel teams, and typically my spouse and I agree that we don't want to throw too much cash at kids' activities where the return on investment is questionable, including talking about that exact issue in the context of a different sport last week. I offered a halfhearted reply along the lines of that's interesting, it's probably not the plan I'd have favored, but it's fine if that's how they want to proceed. My spouse seemed annoyed at my response, I asked if I said anything wrong, and an argument ensued. Not wanting things to escalate further I said we don't have to argue more but I want to talk about this before locking anything down, and we both walked away mad. Why I think I'm not the asshole: 1. This seems like a lot of time and potentially a lot of money to commit unilaterally. 2. To the best of my recollection we've always at least vaguely talked about signing our kids up for things like this...certainly for season-long sports. 3. If the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one signing up a kid without prior discussion I'm pretty confident my spouse would be even more upset or simply veto it. I tried to highlight this to my spouse and their response was "well we'll never know" which, full disclosure, is the part of this I'm most hurt/upset by. Why I worry I might be the asshole: 1. Maybe the time and money aren't as big of a deal as I'm making it? 2. Had my spouse said "I'm thinking about" or "can we talk about" instead of "I plan to" there's probably no argument. Maybe they just misspoke? (They don't like to say they misspoke. But I'm not sure how much I need to speculate??) 3. I understand why my spouse feels upset: they put themselves out there inquiring about the team and talking to other parents; they've communicated that it's important to them to feel independent and autonomous in our marriage; and I'm sure they felt crapped on when I was negative about something they were excited to have done. I *want* to support and encourage them to learn about and plan stuff like this...I just wish I could find a middle ground to offer that support while still having a voice. Thanks for your feedback!

Winter-Owl3797

AITA for arguing with my spouse when they unilaterally planned to sign our child up for a sport + private lessons almost an hour away?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa0hp/aita_for_arguing_with_my_spouse_when_they/

18aa0hp

I have a friend who is 10 years older and recently we made a day to have lunch together to celebrate both our birthdays that are 1 week apart. She told me to book at 11.30am and when I went to book they only has 12pm onwards bookings. I called her 3 days before the event and asked if 12pm was OK and she said yes, she has a church fund-raiser she was going to but would be at lunch and the event wasn't far from the restaurant. I arrived at the restaurant just before 12 and went in and sat at our reserved table. Just before 12.10pm I messaged my friend and said I was here and waiting. At 12.20pm she messaged me back saying she was held up at vent and would be there in 15 minutes. My response was damn I've already been waiting 20 minutes. She did apologise (as she mostly does when she's late) Twice I had the waitress come over and ask if I would like to order and I said No thanks she should be here any minute. By 12.40 she still has not arrived or messaged me any updates, so I messaged her suggesting we make it another time. No response. At 12.45 I messaged her again and said that 45 minutes was too long to wait and I was leaving. I picked up the gift I has brought for her and left. At 12.50pm I recieved a missed call and message from her saying she was there out side on the deck ( I told her the booking was at the inside section) and asked me has I ALREADY left. I was too angry to respond and she has not called me or tried to contact me since ( 4 days ago) Take into consideration I work 12hour shifts and my days off are important to me, as well as I moved a few things around that morning to make sure I wasn't rushing to get to the lunch. I have a feeling she's going to try and pin this on me as I walked out. AITA?

Mintytea555

AITA for walking out on a restaurant booking before my friend arrived?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa10c/aita_for_walking_out_on_a_restaurant_booking/

18aa10c

I, 16f, am kinda confused with how my brother (26m) has been acting lately. He's been abroad for a year working, and now he's come home to stay with the family. Since he's not abroad anymore, he is unemployed, but doesn't seem to care about helping in basic things now that he has a bunch of free time. For example, there was one time where the lightbulb of the bathroom went broke. I was too busy with school, since we are going through the finals (lots of homework, proyectos and exams). However, my brother did not doubt once on asking me to help him while I was working on these, even if he had the whole week to work on it. He also doesn't see to care when I ask him to come to help with small questions; he tells me I have to walk to his room, because he won't get up from his bed. My mom has thrown some hints about how she doesn't like his behavior, but doesn't seem to care as much as to do anything about it. My brother is well aware that im writing this post, so I hope he reads this and sees my concern, since he's someone I really care for.

acaleni

AITA for wanting my brother to be more supportive?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa42u/aita_for_wanting_my_brother_to_be_more_supportive/

18aa42u

For context: my younger brother and I went to the same college at the same time. My brother played on the soccer team and it was at a team party that he introduced me to my now-husband. They played on the same team for 3 years and so they have overlapping social circles. My husband (33M) is groomsman in two upcoming weddings and he's going to both bachelor parties. We have an active social life so we've always just mentioned social obligations to each other rather than really asking permission. We both don't ask each other about things like "hey I got asked to be a part of this wedding party, is that okay with you?" or more routine stuff like "can I go out for dinner with the guys/girls on Friday?" It's more just giving a heads-up type of thing. I'm now 7 weeks pregnant pregnant and he's now slowly moving into a "asking permission" thing. Not like I'm ever gonna say no, but he just really wants to be 100% there for me during this time which is really really sweet. The first bachelor party is with a quieter group of friends and they're going to a lake over the weekend to fish, grill, drink. When he "asked permission" I laughed and told him to go and to recreate all those King of the Hill scenes when Hank and his friends are drinking beer and saying "yup". The second bachelor party is gonna be sometime in the Spring and it's in Miami. My brother is also a groomsman in this wedding. I know the guys going to this one and they're a rowdy bunch but they're good guys. And Miami is...Miami. IYKYK. When he "asked permission" for this bachelor party, I said something along the lines of "I've seen the local talent in Miami and they're talented haha...but yeah go and have fun, I feel comfortable because I know Andrew will be there too." My husband was PISSED at me saying that I am glad my brother will be there too and he thinks that I don't trust him/view him as a cheater. I really truly don't, I just have been to Miami and I think the party culture there isn't conducive to people making good choices for their monogamous relationship. My husband is good looking and those Miami girls compared to me 6 months pregnant is...it makes me feel weird? I don't think my husband would do anything to hurt us, I'm just glad my brother will be there too. AITA for saying that?

gionnap

AITA for telling my husband I feel more comfortable with him going to a bachelor party because my brother is going too?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa4l3/aita_for_telling_my_husband_i_feel_more/

18aa4l3

Last year I started dating a girl and on her birthday (\~4 month mark) I bought her a nice desktop pc for her to use for classes (we both go to the same university) and gaming with me. I told her I never expected her to pay me back for it. Fast forward a few months to yesterday and I find out that she has been cheating on me with a coworker since right before Halloween. I knew this guy, and played games with the two of them and found out that he started sweet talking her online after I would get off the group call. I cant stomach the idea of her using what I bought for \*us\* with him after being betrayed so I want to take the computer back. Would I be justified for doing this?

Koruto__

WIBTA if I took back the pc I bought my ex after I found out she cheated?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa5cn/wibta_if_i_took_back_the_pc_i_bought_my_ex_after/

18aa5cn

My friend Jade (28F) got married recently to a man named Flynn (38M) who I (27F) truly dislike. I, and many of her other friends, told her from the very beginning he seemed like a pompous jerk. Nothing ever really seemed to get through to her, and despite some ups and down in their relationship she seemed very focused on him being an established somewhat older guy that would make her a wife. I have had many conversations w/ Jade expressing my concerns for their relationship, including his treatment of her, which in my opinion is borderline emotional abuse. Despite all warnings, they got engaged and then married recently. Prior to the wedding, Jade expressed that Flynn wanted to get pregnant very quickly after getting married because he did not want to be too old when their children grew up. At the time, she was on board and happy with this plan. A few months after the wedding, a few things came to light. I will not share all of the details but it is quite clear that there is emotional abuse in the relationship and she cannot have a conversation with him. Jade started seeing a councilor who told her that the relationship seemed to be in trouble, and that he did not respect her emotional or physical boundaries. She was also unsure about becoming pregnant, and wanted some addition time to herself before becoming a mother. This was met with resistance from her husband, and she was nervous to have more conversations about it because he wants children now. I ended up having a conversation with her where I told her many of my pent up feelings. I felt truly worried about her becoming trapped in her marriage if she were to become pregnant, and expressed that bringing a child into a struggling marriage is not a wise choice. (Note: Jade has been critical of people who are divorced since she got engaged, and I think she would rather stay married than face the stigma of divorce.) Since this conversation, it has pretty much been radio silence. I have not heard from my friend much, except in group settings. It has felt like I or other friends cannot be alone with her, and she only wants to do things as couples. I assume this is to shield any further questions from me or others in front of him. Flynn also enthusiastically informed us that they are actively trying to get pregnant. Assuming Jade was able to get pregnant quickly, and judging by some recent hints, I am assuming we will be getting a pregnancy announcement from them at Christmas. As her friend I desperately want to be supportive, but I don't know how I will react in the moment. I would honestly feel disappointed in the situation and I don't know how happy I can be. However, what's done is done and I don't want to hurt her feelings if she is already pregnant, because it's obviously not the baby's fault. WIBTA if I'm not happy for them, or should I suck it up and try my best to be excited for her?

No_Squirrel_1620

WIBTA For not being happy if my friend (28F) is pregnant with her new husband (38M)?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa731/wibta_for_not_being_happy_if_my_friend_28f_is/

18aa731

today i (16m) was going to take a shower. i got everything and hopped in. not even 5 minutes later my sister (12f) is banging on the door screaming she needs to use the bathroom. i said no because we have a working bathroom in our parents room and one on the first floor. this was no the only bathroom. after 5 minutes she was screaming louder saying she needs to go badly, i told her if she has to use the bathroom she can go to the other bathrooms, she's done it many times before. another 5 minutes later, banging. i just said no. when i got out my sister was crying because she peed herself. my parents yelled at me for not letting her use the bathroom. AITA? edit: she doesnt have any special needs of any sort

NoteSpecialist962

AITA for not letting my sister into the bathroom and making her pee her pants?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa7j2/aita_for_not_letting_my_sister_into_the_bathroom/

18aa7j2

This is really simple. I (38f) was getting ready to go out & ex (43m) was watching son. I have a PS5 that soon plays and ex was looking at a game he wanted to buy son. He left it on the buying screen and son took the controller while ex left the room and bought the game because I had a PS gift card on file or something. Game was $50 I said ex had to pay me back because he was supposed to be watching son so it's on him, if he'd done it with me it'd be on me. I didn't even turn the system on or knew they were on it. Ex said it's on me because it's my system and my own fault for having a card on it. That on it self can be an AITA for saying it's on him but then I took the next step, I said son couldn't play on my PS anymore without my supervision since ex can't be trusted to take responsibility. Which means if ex is watching son (which only happens in my house when I'm at work occasionally like today) he can't play games and ex has to play with him. Tldr: AITA for blaming ex for son buying a game on my system and then banning the system without my supervision.

Ecstatic_Craft_7192

AITA for making my ex take responsibility for son buying a game

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aa7u6/aita_for_making_my_ex_take_responsibility_for_son/

18aa7u6

I'll keep this short and sweet, my friend group i (26M) hang out with most of the time are friends made though my older sister (30F), i have my own circles but these are my most social friends. I am what you call a "therapist type" of friend where i listen to everyone's stories and try to stay neutral, however I'm also very socially adaptive and can match the same energies as most of my friends, which is most likely a coping mechanism i have to keep friends due to my issues in the past making friends due to my medical conditions (don't take that as playing the victim, i just mean i have a bunch of surgery scars and was an undiagnosed ADHD so i came off as very annoying) now this adaptability comes into play when I'm with this group because we tend to curse or swear, and some of them especially, due the insulting each other thing or roast each other. now i can dish it out because of my adaptability but i can only take so much of it back because of my insecurities, and honestly i don't even try to do it unless provoked or if i know it will make them laugh. however i have rules i follow mentally and one is to not act this way around my mom, this isn't because i want to be seen as the "good child" its out of respect for my mom, however my sister doesn't show that restraint and neither does her Husband (29M) who is also in our circle of friends. do i hate them for it? gods no i love my older sister like a second mom, however the problem is sometimes my BIL will take things too far because he is from a different household and was raised differently, i try not to take things to heart but it still hurts sometimes when he essentially takes any chance to jab me, even in front of my parents, and my mom has noticed this because she knows how i feel about those things, however my sis will defend him pointing to some of the things i say in our group chats, despite me pointing out most of those times was in response to others, in the most recent incident, My Bil insulted my intelligence because of a mistake i made involving picking a table at a party we were invited to because i got there before anyone else and picked the furthest table because i didn't know anyone else there and am extremely socially awkward. When he made his jab my sister said he wasn't right for saying it and my mom calmly scolded him for it, he got upset and my sister claimed i "embarrassed" him by not trying to tell my mother that we "talk like this all the time" and that while she didn't agree with his joke, that i still played the victim. let me also explain that i already told my mom everything about what my friends do so she knows, she just feels they take too many jabs at me. Am i the Asshole? (also, once again, I don't resent my sister or her husband at all and love them dearly, i just want to understand if I'm doing something wrong, also, please keep this off tiktok)

Half-Blind-Prophet97

AITA for trying to be "more respectful" when around my parents?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aabdo/aita_for_trying_to_be_more_respectful_when_around/

18aabdo

TW: eating disorder I'm still getting different answers from family so I decided to put in on here. I (m42) have a daughter (15), her mom (my wife) passed away 4 years ago so it's just been my daughter and I. My daughter is in the early stages of her eating disorder recovery, a thing with ED recovery a lot of people have “safe” foods. My daughter’s two main safe foods are popcorn and chicken breast she’ll always eat those. Well, on Thanksgiving we always go to my mom’s considering my daughter is pretty early in recovery we weren't going like usual I knew if I took her it would be a disaster, so I asked my mom if I could grab a plate for myself. Well when I went to grab it on Thanksgiving my mom asked what my daughter was having at this point if my daughter would eat ill let her eat anything and she wanted popcorn and chicken so I told my mom that's what she's going to be eating. My mom acted very shocked and upset. I told her she was going to eat those foods because I rather her eat than not eat. My mom said but it's Thanksgiving... I tried explaining again how all I want at this point is for my daughter to eat I'll let her eat whatever she wants. I got called an AH by several family members for not feeding my kid properly. So AITA?

Outrageous-Stable282

AITA for letting my daughter eat popcorn and chicken breast on thanksgiving

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aae5a/aita_for_letting_my_daughter_eat_popcorn_and/

18aae5a

AITA? My ex husband has been estranged from his parents for 3 years, we have been divorced for 6 years. His parents were always loving and sweet with our children (ages 9, 10, 13) and they are not bad people. They are both two normal people with normal jobs, home, hobbies, etc - nothing concerning like addictions or violence. My ex husband has always help a grudge against his dad - mostly because I think he felt jealous his siblings kids “got more attention” though I never really noticed it that much myself. We were married for 7 years, so I’ve spent a lot of time around his parents with the birth of our children and holidays and we lived in the same town so we saw them decently. Even though we’ve been divorced for a while I stayed in contact with his sister over the years periodically. After a few years of my kids mentioning they hadn’t seen their grandparents in a long time I reached out to their aunt about it and she kind of filled me in. The reasoning for the estrangement was pretty petty, his parents didn’t have a lot of extra income when the pandemic happened and they couldn’t afford to get the kids birthday presents and he told them to forget his existed. 🤦‍♀️ His parents had not seen the kids in three years! I eventually came into contact with his parents again and they really missed the kids. I asked my kids if they would be interested in seeing their grandparents and they all got very excited and very much wanted to see them! So we arranged it and I brought the kids over and we stayed a good long while and the kids had a blast. It was really sweet seeing them bond with their grandparents. I myself was very close to my grandparents, and I actually don’t have parents, so I know how important some family bonds can be. Nothing negative was said about their father whatsoever and it was purely just for the kids to bond with their grandparents. They of course told their dad about it and he was furious. He sternly contacted me and told me they were his parents not mine and it was his responsibility to bring them over or not, not mine. He was mad. I responded only to tell him that my intention was not to upset him, but just to do what I thought was in the kids best interest, on my time. I just would hate for something to happen to his parents and the kids have no memories with them to remember. AITA for this?

Flaky_Pitch_4285

AITA for bringing my kids to see my ex husband’s parents that he’s estranged from?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aaijo/aita_for_bringing_my_kids_to_see_my_ex_husbands/

18aaijo

My (19M) boyfriend "Ryan" (18M) has a friend "Colton" (19M) who's writing a book. I'm a big reader and I'm getting a degree in literature sooo he asked me to look over the stuff Colton had written already. To be fair it didn't really mean much. The theme was weak like something about life being meaningless and bad things happening to this kid for no reason and then his dads also a wizard or something but magic doesn't really come into play. Theres also a bit where the kid gets adopted by an Asian couple and is forced to fight in some type of kid fighting ring while leaning in to all kinds of racist Asian stereotypes as you can imagine. Like abusing kids and speaking broken English to teaching kung fu. I got back to him about it yesterday while we were out with Colton and some of his friends. I was honest but not mean i dont think, but Colton took it the wrong way and now he says he's just gonna give up on it and got really upset. His friends were giving me the stank eye and me and Ryan just ended up going early. Ryan thinks i should have just said it was good and avoided the drama, but I asked some of my classmates about it and like me they would want a brutally honest criticism so they can fix whatever it was. AITA here?

Extension_Button7281

AITA for telling my boyfriend's friend my honest opinion about the book he's writing?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aamrj/aita_for_telling_my_boyfriends_friend_my_honest/

18aamrj

Throwaway account since everyone involved may find this.. I(28F)always knew that when I can live alone, I wanted to have a dog. When I moved, I had that opportunity in the form of a relative's pet that needed to be rehomed. She was already very old(13), deaf and generally needed a lot of attention. Its been a year and I love this fucking dog. tldr she truly changed my life. I am absolutely an annoying dog mom. Shes is also very allergic to SOMEthing that her vet and I are trying to figure out what. It manifests in dry flaky skin that she will itch hard enough to bleed. We're trying a food allergy trial. This means she is on a very specific diet of a prescription dry food until a trial period of 8-9 weeks is over. If she does get something off-menu, we have to start the trial period over. Most of my friends know this because I always complain how expensive the food is. Cut to the party: I invited a few close friends around to my place for a holiday shindig. Living far away, work, etc usually keeps us apart so I was super excited. I ordered us McDonald's (we all agreed beforehand to split a big order because why the fuck not) and made a ton of jokes to my dog about how 'None of it is for you young lady!' in front of everyone. I'll admit this was a thinly veiled reminder for everyone else too. The food comes and we're all having a good time. I step away to find my friend (25F) dropping a piece of fish filet for my dog to gobble up in the kitchen. I freak out and ask her what she was doing. Again, my dog is deaf so she just keeps pawing my friend for another peice, which she gave her saying "But shes so cute! A little peice of fish cant hurt" Ill admit it, I kind of lost it. We were 6 weeks into the trial and now I would have to start all over, buying so much more expensive food. I'm sure I yelled and cussed at her. I dont really remember, I saw red. I do remember telling everyone that Im sorry but I'm too angry to enjoy or host a party right now and asked everyone to leave. I told them to also feel free to take the remaining food and don't worry about paying for their shares since I'm the reason the party is ending early. The next day I apologized to my friend for yelling. She seems very hurt and isn't very open to continuing the conversation. She says she honestly forgot and didnt see the harm. To be fair, fish was on the list of things I don't suspect she is allergic to and may have mentioned that to the group. Also, my dog also is on other medications that stop any harmful reactions to off-list foods. At most she'll get flaky skin, but not super itchy or upset stomach or anything. My friends overall seem pretty split. Half the group thinks im justified and aren't upset with me ending the party knowing how much I care about my dog. The other half thinks I'm overreacting over a piece of fish.

watermusicman

AITA For kicking out my friend and ending the party after she fed my dog a "treat"?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aat0x/aita_for_kicking_out_my_friend_and_ending_the/

18aat0x

WIBTA for wanting to sue someone for stealing my senior high school yearbook? I was really good friends with this guy and after we graduated we would hang out a lot. This is someone I would consider like a bother. I let him borrow it and after I asked him to return it, he decided to not return my texts and block me. Even another guy that I was talking to, that was friends with him had told me he had it. It’s childish but it’s my senior yearbook and would like it back.

Rich-Shirt-6061

WIBTA For wanting to sue an old friend?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aatdq/wibta_for_wanting_to_sue_an_old_friend/

18aatdq

I (24F) and my sister (30F) booked a Disney trip a few weeks ago and we leave in a week. Everything was already planned and paid for. I have to preface my saying I have no financial standing in this, as my sister makes A LOT of money, and paid for practically everything. Tonight, a friend of hers I’ve never met talked about wanting to visit and my sister invited her to come with us. Everything happened so fast that I didn’t have a chance to speak up about how it made me uncomfortable, and by the time I did my sister said that her friend paid for herself and that if I didn’t feel comfortable then I didn’t have to go. I’ve been looking forward to this trip and now I don’t know if I should bow out or try and find some kind of compromise. So, am I the asshole for not wanting to go?

Admirable_Effort2374

AITA for wanting to back out of my vacation?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aav2g/aita_for_wanting_to_back_out_of_my_vacation/

18aav2g

Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend thousands of dollars on a wedding? So when I researched how much the average cost of a wedding is in my home country and the country that I’m currently living in it’s equivalent to US$30,000. A little background about me is that I am moved out of my home country to another country after college and I’ve been living here since. I’ve been dating my partner for three years. He is 27 and I am 25. We are engaged and like to get married. However, there’s a couple things that is preventing us from getting married at the moment. 1. My family wants us to move back to our country and have our lives there. 2. My partner and I want to just sign papers at the courthouse and save all that money. We rather do so many other things with that money such as put a down payment on a house pay for our future child’s college tuition, or just have money for emergencies retirement anything really. 3. We would have to fly all the way to my home country to have the wedding. Which we don’t have that kind of vacation time. Also, how would I plan a wedding where I can’t even see venues or taste the catering? Nothing I don’t live there. 4. My partner and I are just also not really big on this whole wedding. Which would mean we spend all this money to please other people We are both open to having some type of party afterwards in my family’s country such as just a family dinner. But we won’t be able to have that kind of time off (as the flight is 12 hrs and $2,500 each) for at least another year. All of our vacation time is used up. We don’t really want to wait any longer as we’ve been engaged already for nine months. My family wants all these things yet. They won’t contribute any money to what they want. Maybe I am being a little selfish but how I see a wedding or a marriage is between you and the partner. It is to celebrate you and the partner. My partner and I want to stay in the country currently live in, as it has one of the lowest crime rates in the world, parents can have up to two years of childcare leave for both parents, government support throughout the child’s life financially, and free healthcare until the child becomes an adult. Biggest thing is that the country I live in now doesn’t have school shootings! Extremely strict, guns and drug laws. These are just a few of the reasons why we would like to stay in our country.

Longjumping_Race4938

AITA for not having a wedding

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aaypk/aita_for_not_having_a_wedding/

18aaypk

I teach kids piano. I founded an org to do it and am about to incorporate it into a nonprofit. I put my flyer up at my local gym (which I go to) and the local coffee shop. Last Sunday, someone read my flyer at the gym and called me. She told me she had a 30 yo daughter who really needs the lessons bc she has mental health issues and how her therapist recommended learning piano. Mom cried on the phone and it was pretty stressful for me because: 1. she asked for in person lessons because she thought her daughter would not understand what i would teach her if i taught her online, and that if daughter didn't, daughter's mental health issues would deteriorate. 2. she asked for my personal address after i reiterated multiple times that i only do online lessons. Naturally, this made me uncomfortable. I felt bad, so even though I really never wanted to, I agreed to give lessons to her. I'm also stressed about the repercussions of ending the lessons. The gym manager told/confirmed to them that I work out there. So does the daughter and her mom tags along for support ig. I really want to stop now. But my own mother says that because it's only 30 mins once a week, it's fine, but I still am not that comfortable. AITA? ​

-n--

AITA for deciding not to continue teaching free online piano lessons to an adult?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aazx1/aita_for_deciding_not_to_continue_teaching_free/

18aazx1

I (16m) took a picture of our front porch after Someone had glitter bombed our house, smeared some paint on our pillar on our front porch, and kicked our front door. The picture I posted only showing the porch and pillar, with a caption "Who tf glitter bombed our porch and smeared paint on our pillar?" And posted it on my public story, and my HS snap story, a new addition to snapchat. Shortly after, my sister (14f) asked me to take it down. I talked to my dad and he said I could keep it up. Shortly after, my sister calls my mom and begs her to make me take it down. My mom calls me and we talk. She also says I can keep it up. Later, my sister messages me and begs me to take it down. We get into an argument where I ask her for any reason, to which she says its embarrassing and public humiliation. Again, I ask her to explain because she's being rather vague. What is there to be embarrassed about? She then asks why I can't just back her up and names all the things she does for me. Guilt hits after she asks me that. So of course, though it won't solved anything after 300 people have seen it, i take the picture down. She continues to name things she says about me and my friends, backing us up to her friends, and the guilt sets in more. I feel bad for making her that embarrassed but I don't see how I was embarrassing her by posting that picture. Mind you, it doesn't show anything special about our home. No land marks or stand-outs other than a few porch decorations. So, aita? Edit: I realized I should add my sister is popular at our school and I'm the opposite. She is on all three cheer teams football, basketball, and competition. However, because of that, its well known amongst the people she knows, that we're siblings. One of the things she had mentioned was that her friends were messaging her about it the post I made, knowing I was related to her without knowing me or following me on snap.

Unearthly_Moth

AITA for refusing to take down a snapchat story post even after my sister begged me to?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ab0nj/aita_for_refusing_to_take_down_a_snapchat_story/

18ab0nj

To add some context, I am America and my husband is an immigrant. In his home country he does not have a last name. When he came to the US he had to have a last name, so here he is legally (first name) FNU (last name) First Name. We do not have any children and I am not pregnant, so for now this is a hypothetical. He had a last name that he would like to eventually change is last name to so here is legal name would be his original first name and then his new last name. However it is pretty complicated to do that now due to his immigration status. I said that if he gets his name sorted out before we have children we will give them that last name (I will be keeping my last name which he doesn’t care about either way - my choice) with a first name from his culture and a middle name from mine. But if it hasnt been sorted out at that point then any kids will get my last name. He thinks we should just give them his chosen last name anyways because eventually he will have that last name. I am pretty opposed to giving our kids the chosen last name before he has it because we don’t know how long it will be before he can easily change his name and I don’t want our kids to have a last name that neither of us have. And I want all of our kids to have the same last name to avoid confusion as they are going through school etc. So my position is that if we start having kids before his name change then they will all have my last name. He thinks it will alienate them from their heritage to have a white name when they are half white, but they will all be getting ethnic first names. Am I the asshole for not wanting to give them a last name that neither of us currently have even though he will have it eventually?

Isopod_Worried

WIBTA for giving our children my last name instead of my husbands chosen last name?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ab75a/wibta_for_giving_our_children_my_last_name/

18ab75a

Me 20f and my roomate 20f are staying in an apartment. She is very friendly to me in our room. But the fact that I don't like is she is using all my kitchen utensils and silverware.i really do not like that.before two weeks, she left for her hometown.while leaving she didn't leave the kitchen clean. All my utensils were used and dirty. i couldn't keep them as it is for her return to wash the dishes. I was really pissed off that I had to clean the dishes she used. I also do not like the fact she is using my vanity mirror. But I don't want her to tell that I don't want to share my mirror. This weekend I went to my hometown, we are having our semester finals tomorrow. She stayed and took my writing pad and stool. The stool that I have kept to organise my books . Eventhough I only use the stool for keeping books, i really don't like the fact she is using my stool. I wanted her to do the dishes this time.so I left a coffee mug while going to my hometown this weekend. The mug is still not washed after 4 days. I was really pissed and frustrated. The kitchen is also messy. She doesn't dispose her sanitary napkins too..she also leaves the spices open for long time which makes them spoil....all these things make me so frustrated. But I'm not a confrontational person. When I was talking with my boyfriend about this, he told me to ask her not to use my things again. We both are only staying in this apartment. So I don't want any bad blood between us . But all these things make me act cold towards her. I should not feel guilty for using my stool right? I feel like it would be a bitch move to tell her not to use my things. Especially since I have the mirror and some kitchen stuff she uses that too in the time of finals. WIBTA for asking her to stop touching my things?

Forward_Arugula8279

WIBTA if I told my roomate to stop using my things?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abbs4/wibta_if_i_told_my_roomate_to_stop_using_my_things/

18abbs4

recently, my brother (m29) and i (f16) got into it at his house on friday. my mother and i just moved in to a new apartment and have yet to get a washer and dryer, so we’ve been going to my brother’s house to wash clothes. now my brother gets angry about very little things constantly, so it wasn’t surprising when he eventually got angry. he was supposed to leave the house with his gf (f29) and my mom and i were gonna watch their kids and wash clothes while they were gone. my brother goes upstairs and can’t find his wallet (as usual) and his gf and our mom start talking about how he should get that wallet tracker thing so he can find his wallet easier. as soon as he comes down stairs, my nephew drops cookies all over the floor and gf helps me pick it up so we all kinda stop talking. brother comes down pissed and is ready to go (he’s found his wallet at this point) and is waiting for gf. mom says “bye, have a good adventure” in a playful tone. brother says “not trying to be an asshole but why do you have to be so sarcastic all the time?” and my mom is genuinely confused and he goes on about why everyone got so quiet when he came downstairs and he’s just being a dick. so i say “like we’re trying to hide a secret from you?” which i was half joking but also confused as to why he was being such a dick for no reason. and he starts going off on me and cussing me out and insulting me. so mom tells me to grab our stuff and we leave. now a couple days later she’s telling me how i always disrespect him and how i deserved it and caused this. i feel bad for the disrespect because i had no idea he felt that way but i don’t feel bad for what i said at his house bc he was being a dick. but am i in the wrong here?

holy_cowZ

AITA for being a smartass to my brother and leaving the house

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abj29/aita_for_being_a_smartass_to_my_brother_and/

18abj29

My brother (two years younger) and I were close growing up probably because we were both severely abused. Our mother beat us and let random people beat us and worse. When I escaped the abuse, I went hardcore into improving myself, probably too much (working on it through therapy). He, unfortunately, has made some hard life choices gotten into drugs and such. I think he’s been drug free for sometime now though. We haven’t seen each other in 10 years. He lives a few states away. I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I told him about it during our Thanksgiving call. He expresses sympathy and says he’d like to see me. I tell him we should see each other again but I really don’t know what treatment for my cancer is going to look like yet so maybe after I get better. Since then, I have had a port placed in preparation for chemo that is referred to by many as “the red devil” on Monday. I’m doing more frequent infusions because my doctor believes my cancer is very aggressive. It’s a very stressful and scary time in my life. Tonight my brother sent me a text with a picture of a train ticket to my hometown to stay for 4 nights right before Christmas. I was shocked. He never even talked to me about it, just bought a ticket to stay with me during the most difficult time in my life. I told him I really can’t have any visitors at that time because of the chemo and I told him I was really not happy that he’d buy tickets to visit me without talking to me first. So AITA for not letting my brother stay with me in the middle of “red devil” chemotherapy? I feel guilty because I haven’t seen him in so long but I’m worried about two things. First of course is my immune system, he may be exposed to so many random pathogens on a 20hr train trip. Secondly, I worry about reliving childhood trauma if I see him at a time when I’m so low. I already have flashbacks from things that happened to me as a kid 30 years ago. I fear that seeing him again will worsen those symptoms at a very vulnerable time in my life.

SparkleLight007

AITA for not agreeing to host my brother after he bought train tickets to my hometown without asking?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abkj0/aita_for_not_agreeing_to_host_my_brother_after_he/

18abkj0

Posted on a throwaway as my husband follows my other account. I (F29) have been struggling a lot with anxiety. My husband (M34) has been very supportive and has been both understanding of my emotions and also encouraging with trying to help me take steps to overcome my anxiety. He encouraged me to talk to a therapist and has actively asked me questions about my appointments and had always been both complementary and encouraging of the steps I’ve been taking. More recently I’ve been struggling with getting back into the gym after taking a long period of time off due to my anxiety. He has been really encouraging me to get back to it as it is something that has helped me with anxiety in the past. It’s just something I haven’t been able to do, so I haven’t been doing it even though I should. I told him recently I wanted to talk to my doctor about getting a formal ADHD diagnosis and potentially going on medication because I’ve always felt like I have ADHD since I was a kid and I’ve found the symptoms more overwhelming lately. The smallest tasks feel very daunting and it’s hard to get to even little things (for sure - also a symptom of anxiety). He made a comment that I should exhaust all my other options before going the “medication route”, like exercise, journaling, etc. I don’t disagree with him but I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed that I ended up booking an appointment with my doctor to go through an assessment. I didn’t tell my husband about the assessment and figured I would tell him if I did get a diagnosis. I thought about telling him but figured he would be disappointed given the concerns he brought up about medication and trying other non-medication routes first. We were talking tonight and he asked how my anxiety/ADHD symptoms had been lately and I told him I was working on it. He asked me what I was doing and I told him I had gone through an initial assessment this week but was waiting to meet with my doctor again. He asked me why I didn’t tell him about the assessment when it happened and I told him I didn’t want to get in an argument about it or have him disapprove given the feelings he shared with me about medication. He said he felt that was deceptive and a red flag. We ended up getting into an argument about it because I said that I didn’t think it was deceitful and we ended up going back and forth and then he ended the conversation because he said he felt hurt and needed to think about it more. So, AITA?

Ill-Maximum-4155

AITA for not telling my husband about a medical appointment?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abkrv/aita_for_not_telling_my_husband_about_a_medical/

18abkrv

I (15m) am a huge Green Day fan. My brother (13m) likes them but they're not his favorite band and he does not listen very much. I find my brother intolerable, as he is incredibly annoying, always gets his way, and is generally preferred over me by our parents. Upon hearing me talk to my parents about the concert, he assumed that he was invited and started making plans to come. My friend (16 m) is also a huge Green Day fan and wants to go with me. We would be driving around seven hours each way, I would most likely be the one driving, and we would both be paying for our own tickets and sleeping in the car. I do not want to take my brother as he would likely ruin the trip and this could very easily be Green Day's last tour. When I brought the topic up with him, (in the gentlest way possible) he became super offended and I started to wonder if I'm in the wrong. AITA? Tl;Dr: my brother is very difficult to deal with and wants to go to a Green Day concert with me and my friend, I don't want him there, he thinks I'm an AH

Jamesnanj

AITA for not wanting my brother to go to a Green Day concert with me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abl1h/aita_for_not_wanting_my_brother_to_go_to_a_green/

18abl1h

I’m a 17 year old autistic trans girl (boy to girl) and a little over a year ago I was in a building fire while home alone, at the time I was 16 and my stepsister, Myla, had just turned 16 that exact day, my mom and my stepdad, Chuck, are both first responders, my mom being fire police and Chuck being fire police, firefighter, and EMT, so they’re used to seeing buildings on fire. Because of the fire I got extremely bad PTSD and have multiple triggers that my family practically ignore! The main/worst trigger being fire itself, every time I see, smell, or hear any of my triggers I begin to panic and stop functioning as my brain forces me to relive the fire, all 4 and a half hours of it on loop every minute. Whenever this happens I normally lock myself in my room and try my best to calm down and text my friends for help if able, in my opinion my friends care about me more than my mom and Chuck. Now when I end up getting triggered around my mom and Chuck that’s another story of its own. My mom always just tells me 1 time in the most annoyed voice, “You’re Fine” and the way she says it makes it sound like it doesn’t even matter to her. Chuck on the other hand goes straight to yelling at me to, “Grow a set of balls” which I would rather not, plus I physically cannot think when panicking and 1 of my triggers is actually yelling. Every time they do this I try to calm myself down the best I can and then yell at them and they just respond by acting like I offended them for saying, “You need to do better at helping me”. In my opinion your friends shouldn’t be better at helping you calm down than your parents, I have seriously asked my friends to teach them how to help me. Because of fires being a big trigger I also requested that my family doesn’t use candles in the house or around me, which unfortunately includes birthdays, Myla doesn’t seem to care and finds the entire thing hilarious, my mom and Chuck on the other hand call me a brat and say I’m trying to ruin this family which I already think is ruined at this point. They just tell me to deal with it and that I’m fine, almost like they expect me to be over the fire already and over the fact that I almost died. AITA here?

Pikachu_88_YT

AITA For Yelling At My Mom And Stepdad For Saying I’m Fine Like I Don’t Matter?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abm4x/aita_for_yelling_at_my_mom_and_stepdad_for_saying/

18abm4x

Adding ages so it makes more sense. Me(15 turning 16) brother(12). So for context I have to go out of town tomorrow so we celebrated my birthday earlier today with just some family and 3 of my closet friends. My brother who well just call Carter had been complaining about how the day was all about me, again we were celebrating MY BIRTHDAY. He kept on and on about being bored and not liking the people I had over to the point where my parents just caved in and told my brother that he could have a few friends over no more than 5 or 6. When I told my parent I wasn’t okay with that they told me that they were just trying to keep my brother happy. After his friends got here they started running around the house screaming. At that point I was tired of it and told him that his friends needed to go home and he needed to stop making the one day of the year that I had to myself about him when ever other day was always about him after that he ran to his room crying saying he hated me and this is why my friends just pretend to like me. I understand that he was probably board of me and my friends but I would have been cool with his friends being the if he would have told me about it rather than going straight to my parents. I’m cool with almost all of his friends and I don’t mind them but for me it was just the fact that he didn’t talk to me about. We forgot something that we needed for dinner so me and my boyfriend went to get it along with my little brother and if he would have asked me then I would have been cool with getting 2 or 3 of his friends on the way back. So AITA for yelling at my brother?

Rosey_34

AITA for yelling at my brother about having friends over

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abnx6/aita_for_yelling_at_my_brother_about_having/

18abnx6

I (31F) work with my ex-girlfriend (32F), Jess, and have been working with her for a few years at least. We broke things off on very good terms, she found herself more interested in furthering her career and felt she didn’t enjoy the company of women as she did with men. It was a very clean break, I told her I respect her wishes and we went off to date separate people. I’m very much a flirt, I had quite a few flings during this time I had more flings with men than women, but I later found myself dating a very cute girl who I kept bumping into outside of work. My girlfriend (28F), Kate, and I have been together for about a year now and my ex is currently single. After Jess and her boyfriend separated, she really began to let herself go. She stopped going to the gym, started smoking, some weeks you can tell she doesn’t shower for days, and has gained a considerable amount of weight. Sometimes I’ll treat her to lunch and she’ll get two meals, but she’ll assure me that one is for her dinner, but by the end of the day it’s gone. I told her that if she needs more food, it’s okay, I don’t care, but she got super offended and told me that one is for dinner and to not ask her about it. I asked her if she would like to talk about anything going on, maybe go to the gym together, and she tells me that she’s fine, just trying to find herself. I respect that, and let it go.The issues started happening a month ago when Kate was transferred into our department as a manager. A week into her position, Kate brought back a report that Jess did and asked her to recheck her numbers because they weren’t adding up and asked her to bring it back later in the week. Before this incident, Jess kept complaining about Kate, saying how she knows she looks down at her because she’s my ex, but she doesn’t get that it was mutual. Every time they work together, they’re butting heads because Jess will argue with her over everything. It’s gotten to the point where Kate asks me to communicate with Jess because she doesn’t want to argue with her and Jess will come up with some remark saying how Kate is too scared to confront her because she knows she is right. I confided in Kate that I cannot bare to work with Jess anymore and I need to change where I am in the office, I don’t care if it’s a demotion, I cannot stand working with her because she’s overly negative, she smells, overly rude, inconsiderate, and overall just gross. Kate and I went in this morning and move all my stuff from my area to a different one that’s on the other side of the floor, but I know come Tuesday, Jess will ask me why I moved. I want to get the point across that I moved because of her, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I want to be honest with her, but I know she’s dealing with depression, but she won’t let me help her. She makes me feel like I'm suffocating. ​ Additional info: Yes, I'm dating my boss, but she was transferred in and we were both equally shocked to see each other, so we're just staying quiet about it. Jess, to my knowledge, hasn't told anyone. At the moment Kate is in the midst of possibly being transferred back. She transferred due to being harassed by a higher-up and he's currently being investigated.

Final_Ad_1723

WIBTA if I told my coworker I don’t enjoy working with her?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abnyj/wibta_if_i_told_my_coworker_i_dont_enjoy_working/

18abnyj

I’m directing a play in school, and the lead character is a charismatic warrior, seasoned and womanizer. Naturally, this lends itself to being reasonably robust, tall, and good looking. One guy tried out for the role and was decent. However, he’s extremely short, by that I mean below 5 feet tall, very skinny, and not very attractive. His acting was decent, but not amazing enough to belie the obvious suspension of disbelief one would have given his physical mismatch with the role he’s playing. I opted for somebody who’s also decent, not great, in the acting department, but fit the physical description far more. One of the people working with me on the play is upset with me for ‘discriminating’ against the first guy for his looks. I think that’s a silly criticism: he doesn’t meet the criteria, so he’s not a good fit, it’s fairly simple. She thinks I’m a ‘shallow AH’. But I think hiring actors that either a) fit the physical description or b) are good enough actors to overcome the mismatch, is common sense.

Independent-Newt8987

AITA for rejecting an actor based on his height and looks?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abtus/aita_for_rejecting_an_actor_based_on_his_height/

18abtus

My brother and sister in law recently got married and due to a career choice have been living long-distance for the last several months. They have finally gotten their lives situated enough so that my SIL, who has been living in my city, will be joining my bro in his. Neither me nor my wife have been able to spend much time with my SIL, on account that she has a busy schedule as a full-time employee in corporate and as a part-time student, and that we have a teenager going to college next year, 3 year old toddler, and a preemie baby who just successfully got out of a high-risk surgery. My SIL invited us to her going away party since she is moving soon. However, we're not super close so neither my wife nor I responded to her invitation. When we saw her with my brother together at Thanksgiving, we told her that only one of us would make it since we have so much going on with the kids. She said no problem and seemed happy about it but the conversation didn't progress much further. However when the day rolled around, we decided it would be better for us if we didn't go. We're not getting along with my sister who we guessed would be going and we felt overwhelmed at home. We never saw her much anyway as while she is nice, she is very different from us and the party would have been 45 mins away from us. My brother is upset about this. And apparently my SIL is feeling hurt because we never texted saying we weren't going to be able to make it or apologize afterward. However I don't think there's anything to apologize about - we made the right choice for our family. AITA?

Realistic-Escape-723

AITA for not going to my SIL's farewell party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18abyye/aita_for_not_going_to_my_sils_farewell_party/

18abyye

So I (16f) moved to a new city last year over the summer. I am half white and half Puerto Rican. My whole life when I’ve said I’m half white and Puerto Rican people have just downplayed it and basically said “well your half white so you’re just white.” Until 9th grade everyone knew I was half white but when I moved here I figured it was a fresh start and I wouldn’t tell people I was half white Just Puerto Rican and started really embracing my culture. It’s not like many people asked about my ethnicity so I wasn’t going around telling everyone that I was Puerto Rican just some friends and other people if they asked. Now here’s where I might be the asshole. I now have a girlfriend of a year and 2 months, in this time she’s never met my moms side of the family (the Puerto Rican side) just my dads family who are VERY white and she’s met them about 6-7 times. Now I never really talked about my dads side being Puerto Rican but I did talk about it with my moms side. After all of this I just figured she knew and never directly said that my dad was white which I probably should have. Last night we were talking about bugs when I told her a story about my Tio getting a roach stuck in his ear, she asked me what I called my aunt and I said said my by Titi, he then asked why I only called one of my aunt that and not the other and then she asked if it was because one of them was white. I said that yeah kinda but i didn’t really know since I did call her that when i was little. She proceeded to start asking if I was really white, why didn’t I tell her, and why I lied. I told her I was half white, and I thought she knew, and that I didn’t like people downplaying my culture. She got really mad and offended by this and asked me what as wrong with being white and more questions. I tried to explain to her best I could that I lied because I don’t like the downplay of being only half Puerto Rican, I grew up with only my mom and Puerto Rican family and that I was always around Puerto Rican culture while I never really did anything for my white culture other then going to my dads house 2 days a year. Again she got really mad and hasn’t talked to my once that. So ATIA?

Far_Highlight2914

AITA for lying about my race?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ac0ch/aita_for_lying_about_my_race/

18ac0ch

I (20f) and my sister (22f) have never really gotten along, with in the last couple of days she announced that she was 7-8 months pregnant. With the announcement came some very odd rules, Like I can’t have junk food in my house if she’s over, I can’t have my cat around her he needs to be locked away, I can’t have pop cans in the fridge, and a few other along with the rules came her expectations of me and my other sister. For example if she calls us we have to drop whatever we are doing to attend to her hand and foot unless we are at work, if she asks us to do something we have to, and when the baby is born we have to have a car seat and a crib in each of our cars/houses so she can drop the baby off whenever she feels like it. I told her there is no way that she is just going to drop her baby off at my house whenever she feels like it, I have no issues getting a car seat in my car or having a bassinet in my house for if I’m babysitting my niece or nephew but I will not be told I have to because she wants to be able to drop the baby off whenever. So I had told her that I will not cater to her every demand and wait on her hand and foot. She had gotten upset and told me that she will never let me see my niece or nephew because I won’t let her just uproot my life because she decided to make a decision with a man who is 15 years older then her because she doesn’t want to put her life on hold for this baby. I don’t feel like I am the asshole in this situation I just feel like she’s not seeing things from my perspective like I’m heading to college soon and I’m not going to have room for the baby in my dorm and I don’t feel like I should have to cater to her just because she is pregnant.

Sea_Connection8103

AITA: for telling for telling my sister I will not cater to her just because she is pregnant

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ac1jp/aita_for_telling_for_telling_my_sister_i_will_not/

18ac1jp

Not in the US I (28f) am currently taking care of my niece Tina (9f) while my brother is out of town for work for a month. I WFH so I temporarily moved to my brother's house to look after her. Tina's mother passed away but her maternal grandparents live in the same neighborhood. My brother told me they visit the grandparents weekly and sometimes Tina will play with the cousins as her aunt and uncle also often visit her grandparents. ​ Tina has plenty of toys. She is also tidy and usually picks up after herself, so I don't really know what toys she has. Just a few hours ago, Tina's aunt, Wendy, dropped by with her son, Bill (9m), and asked Tina to return some figures that were her stepson's. I asked Tina for them but she refused, saying she won the figures in their poker game and was entitled to it. ​ Apparently their older cousins played poker together at their grandparents and taught the younger ones to play as well. Tina said that Bill wanted to play with her tablet but she refused. The older cousins then suggested they played poker for it, an hour on Tina's tablet vs something Bill has that Tina would want in return. The only things Tina thought was worth an hour on her device were the Star Wars figures Wendy accidentally unloaded from her car and made Bill keep an eye on. So Bill wagered the figures, and he lost all but two of them to Tina, with their 12 year old cousin as their witness. Wendy then needed to hurry home and grabbed Bill, not noticing the difference in the bag. ​ The figures were Bill's half brother who forgot the bag in Wendy's car. He was panicking when he noticed all but two of his figures are missing, so Bill was forced to tell his mom and brother what happened. Wendy asked for the figures back. They are not particularly expensive, like $25 - $30 each, but Bill's brother did save up for them. ​ Tina refused to give them back, saying she won them fair and square and their cousin was the witness to the game. Wendy said she couldn't hold a child poker game responsible for loss of actual properties and that Tina needs to return the figures. I offered to call my brother and did but his coworker picked up and said my brother was in a very important meeting and people not directly involved could not interrupt. As my brother forgot his phone, he would be unreachable until the end of the meeting, 6 or 7 hours from now. So I left a message asking him to call me back. I told Wendy we would have to wait for my brother to make his decision. As for now, Tina would keep the figures until her father said otherwise. ​ Wendy said she did not have 6 hours to wait. She said I should be able to see how messed up this is and make Tina return the figures. Again, I refused to make her, saying I personally think Tina earn the figures and my brother is the only one who can make Tina return them. Wendy called me AH for stealing and as she could not wait around took her son back, saying she will call later. AITA?

ThrowawayAwayHands

AITA for not making my niece returns the figures she won in a poker game

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ac4fm/aita_for_not_making_my_niece_returns_the_figures/

18ac4fm

I am a transgender man I am getting married soon to a woman who's family was Jewish for a long time, but over the generations the religious part sort of fell out, but the traditions with weddings are still there. They're just not really related to Judaism anymore traditionally, both parents of the bride and groom would walk their kid down the aisle. My fiancé wants to keep with that tradition in particular a few others, but that one is important to her. She knows me, and my father don't always get along, especially around my transgender identity. He used to be really angry about it, but not like you would think. he would worry so much about my future that it would come off as him being angry with me me, being trans just didn't really fit into what he wanted my life to be. He would talk about how my generation seems more prone to being transgender (I am very early gen Z Born in year 2000). I came out when I was 16 but didn't tell him for a year because I was afraid. I know his heart was hurt by that so for about two years after that I have been taking it slow, trying to make it easier for him. But it never seems slow enough. My mom had some hangups, but she was more open to the idea from the beginning. In high school, I had a teacher, who was supportive of me he helped me come out to my father gave me advice on what to say. When I was having trouble at home because of my identity, he had my back. he became a father figure to me. He kept up with my life years after I graduated he became the guy I went to when I needed advice. This was further reinforced when I started taking hormones my dad didn't like it for the same reasons he always gave me the numbers just don't add up. My mom was more open but had her worries. I was terrified so I went to him like I always did when I needed he told me I needed to do what was best for me that I needed to stop worrying about pleasing everyone else and start trying to make myself happy because that was my job and I didn't owe anyone so much that I should put off my own happiness to keep peace. At this point, I saw him more as family then a teacher. When I was talking to my fiancé, about my concerns with my parents walking me down the aisle she said it doesn't necessarily need to be my logical, father and mother. She said she wants me to be walked down the aisle by people I believe have earned the right to do it. And not just in, they never abandoned me, but who have supported me through the hard Times. After a lot of talking with her and thinking through the situation, considering all people involved I decided I wanted to be walked down the aisle by my former teacher and my mother. I know it sounds strange, but I don't want to be walked down by a guy who acted like I was crazy for five years and made myself to be someone I was not. I told my former teacher, and he said he would be honored to walk down the aisle When I told my family however, many of them were livid, especially my dad. He said he earned the right to do it. He's half the reason I exist. And it's not his fault that I want and besides, it's not like he walked out on me he said he was there for all of it. That was the breaking point. I yelled at him for the first time, saying that just because you didn't leave and did the bare minimum doesn't mean he's earned anything he to this day had not called me by my chosen name. I yelled that he may continue telling himself that he's a great dad because he didn't leave me on the streets or throw me out, but that was not my definition of a good father. I stormed out the next day. I called him and said that if he would keep his act together during the wedding and not lose his mind, he would still be invited, but as a normal guest. He just hung up on me and I begin getting messages that day from relative saying that they did not want to come to my wedding. If I wouldn't let my own father walk me down the aisle. After all this, I'm starting to doubt myself, and think I made the wrong choice. Am I the asshole?

Status_Resident_4050

AITA for not wanting my father to walk me down the aisle at my wedding

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ac90h/aita_for_not_wanting_my_father_to_walk_me_down/

18ac90h

Me (16M), my mother (45F) and my grandfather (80M) all live together. my mother tasked me to wrap my families Christmas presents since she was sick at the time, i had wrapped everything and was finishing the last gift, a few flower seeds my grandfather had been keeping his eye on recently. i decided that it would be funny to wrap his present around 20 times. it turned out large and thin, my mother walked into the living room and didn’t recognise the present so she asked what it was, when i replied with it was the flower seeds and i had wrapped it 20 times as a joke she blew up on me and said my grandfather was old and wouldn’t be able to properly open it, screaming at me saying i was selfish and enjoyed seeing others suffer. i didn’t know it would be that harmful so now I’m wondering AITA?

gayhoboinsideurdad

AITA for wrapping my grandfathers christmas present “too many times”

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18ac9jx/aita_for_wrapping_my_grandfathers_christmas/

18ac9jx

I’m a 17 year old autistic trans girl (boy to girl) and a few days ago I got into a fight with my parents over being sick and called my stepsister a, “Spoiled Princess”, here’s what happened. When I was around 10 years old my mom started dating my current stepdad, I didn’t get along with him at first but now we occasionally have our fights but mostly get along. Now along with him came my stepsister. I have barely gotten along with my stepsister and any time I can I try to stay away from her. My parents have my saying from the start that they would treat us fairly and they did at first, but recently I started to notice that they stopped doing that. For some quick context that may help, me and my stepsister are only 7 weeks apart in age, that may help, I’m not sure, I’m the older one. I mostly started noticing when my birthday came around this year, my parents gave me a spending limit and took me to Target where I just got a ton of toys in the limit, that being $150, I love toys, always have always will. Now fast forward to my stepsister’s birthday and she asked them for a $2000 makeup and nail kit, and without any hesitation they got it for her! No catch included either! Another notable example is this past week, I have been sick since last Monday with pretty much every symptom you can think of, I told my parents and even showed them that I was 1000% sick, and they looked at me, said I’m faking it, and tried forcing me to go to school! Now my stepsister also ended up staying home all week, my parents talked to her, ask what was going on, and let her stay home with no arguments at all, she only wanted to stay home however because she doesn’t want to ride the bus with other kids and our parents work all the time so they can’t drive us anywhere and neither of us can drive. Our parents even tell us if we stay home from school we don’t go anywhere at all during the entire day unless it’s the doctors or school, they strongly enforced this rule with me last week while they let her stay home and then every day go to her boyfriend’s house for 7 hours each day. Our curfew is 9:00 PM, they let her stay out until 10:00 PM! They also constantly punish her and immediately remove the punishment while I’m stuck being punished and every time I speak I get in more trouble even if I’m just saying, “Hi”! So last week I finally had enough of this behavior and unfairness and got into an argument while trying not to puke all over my parents because I was still sick and during the argument I shouted while everyone was home, “SAYS THE ONES WHO CARE MORE ABOUT THEIR SPOILED LITTLE PRINCESS IN THE NEXT ROOM!” I was told, “Shut your mouth or get the f*** out of this house!” My parents also admitted to my face a day later that they don’t care about me and don’t want to deal with me. AITA? I’m just tired of dealing with the way they treat me.

Pikachu_88_YT

AITA For Calling My Stepsister A Spoiled Princess To My Parent’s Faces?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aca1t/aita_for_calling_my_stepsister_a_spoiled_princess/

18aca1t

I just started using bumble recently, and I don’t use it all that often, so I’m very unfamiliar with some of the features. A few months ago, I confessed my feelings to a girl that I like (let’s call her Katy), and unfortunately, she rejected me. I took the loss and moved on. We were still cool with each other as friends, and I thought that that was it. Few months later (as in just last night), I was using bumble again around 11:00 pm when I saw I had a “super swipe” available. There was only one profile available in the separate tab that showed my suggestions. I thought the girl looked cute and so I used it on her thinking nothing of it (I was tired so I thought why not). The next day (just about an hour ago) I received a notification that I had matched with someone, went to check it out and saw that I matched with the girl I super swiped (let’s call her Jesse), she asked me some weird questions after we had matched and I didn’t know how to respond, so I tried the best I could with my roommate who was helping me out. Turns out, “Jesse” revealed herself as Katy’s best friend (let’s call her Shannon). I knew her pretty well and we talked a bunch since she always hung around Katy. I tried laughing it off, but then Katy called me, I picked up and Shannon was on the other line with Katy in the room with her. Katy and Shannon immediately started asking me things such as, “how could you not tell it was me” and, “do you know how this makes you look?”. I tried explaining that I had swiped Shannon last night at around 11:00 PM, so I was tired and wasn’t paying too close attention as to who I was swiping. Shannon used a name that I normally didn’t hear her go by, and looking at the single picture she used in her profile, she was wearing a whole bunch of makeup that made me not recognize her in the slightest. The call ended with Katy saying things like “It’s ok, accidents happen, it was late at night etc etc.” in what I thought was a weird tone of voice, after I tried saying something else, Katy hung up on me mid sentence. And now I sit here pondering what the hell happened. So I ask, AITA for swiping on someone that I thought was a different person I didn’t know?

ElectroIsland

AITA for swiping on what I thought was a random girl?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acclr/aita_for_swiping_on_what_i_thought_was_a_random/

18acclr

Been talking to a guy for \~3.5 weeks. We met via a popular hook up app (rhymes with binder) and had a fun night at my place. Enjoyed the connection, said I'd like to see him again before he left (lives in NYC). He agrees. He's in town because his dog has a vet here and has cancer. This is important. He extends his trip by a few weeks due to his dog...she has a bad UTI. It becomes touch and go with trying to get together. We both note that there's a nice connection and that we wish we didn't live so far apart and would love to keep in touch. I instigate flirty texts here and there, but each day becomes very passive...I keep probing what's up, but he says he's stressed and tired from his dog and work...he tells me multiple times that he's the type that will go a few days without texting because he suffers from "severe clinical depression and anxiety" and needs space. He eventually tells me he feels he "isn't offering what I'm looking for" and "needs things to slow down" due to the anxiety and depression he's dealing with and how hard it is to open up. I say that we can take a step back. He says no. Here's where things get strange. He says we can't get together this past Friday outside my apartment because he needs to be with his dog and that he's bringing her (doesn't ask first, though later clarifies he meant to). I say that's fine. When he brings her over, she's in BAD shape. As in, she immediately starts throwing up all over the place. He's pretty silent about it and doesn't exactly ask before putting her and her bed on my couch, though I say it's fine (I just am worried it will be tough to clean). He says he's over for movie night, but is completely distracted and keeps having to bring her out because she hasn't had a bowel movement in three days. On one occurrence, we get back and he asks me to blow out all my candles due to the scent (which I lit solely because it smells like vomit). Finally, we begin the movie, but she starts having breathing issues. He decides he's going to leave and take her to the ER, which he's been doing regularly. I help him gather his things and ask him if he needs help and what I can do. He doesn't really respond and is looking down tearing up...I give him a hug and say I'll help bring everything to the car so he can go. I practically run so that they can get going, put her bed in the front seat, give him a hug and tell him I'm here and that it will be okay. He says he's so sorry for the evening and leaves. I message and say to please let me know what's up as soon as he hears and that I'll stay up as late as he needs in case he needs someone to talk to. He says he's putting her down and says "not sure how to say this, but I'm very hurt that you didn't come with me". He has now since barely spoken to me. He says "I'm still very hurt by not having your support with me that night." Reddit, AITA for not joining my date to euthanize his dog?

abcde_1014

AITA for not going with guy to euthanize his dog on third date

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acmhj/aita_for_not_going_with_guy_to_euthanize_his_dog/

18acmhj

My mom has been going through some financial troubles for years. When one of my brothers got married she was still able to pay for my dress, makeup, and hair as well as hers, but for my other brother’s wedding (pretty recent) she couldn’t afford any of it, so I offered to pay for her dress (she ordered two online cause she couldn’t decide which one would look nicer on her), alterations and makeup (she paid for her hair). Having witnessed how crazy she got when my brothers got married (she likes to be the center of attention) I asked her to spare me the stress and to take it out on her other children. I even asked my siblings to help me out on this one and they agreed. When my first brother got married, she “tortured” him and my SIL by telling them things such as “I’m not going to the wedding if your father’s coming” and then taking it back, as well as saying that she couldn’t afford a dress and asked them if they could pay for a custom-made dress by a super recognized and expensive designer. They said no so she ordered one online. Considering how she gets when one of her kids gets married, I wasn’t surprised when she asked me to pay for her dress. I told her that we were super tight, but I could help her with a few bucks, convinced that she was going to order it online like the past weddings. To my surprise, she said that as I was the last of her children to get married (my sister doesn’t want to), she wanted to stand out and have a professionally made dress. This would also mean alterations, buying the material, paying for the hairdresser, make-up, etc. I told her I didn’t have the money for it and to ask my siblings for help, but she didn’t have a good relationship with them so she dumped that task on me. I reminded her about the chat we had about stress, and she replied that she was depressed because she was going to look like “a homeless person with crooked teeth and greasy hair” and would not come to the wedding if she looked like that (which she had also told my brothers when they got married). I told her that if she truly felt that way maybe she shouldn’t come. However, I caved without her knowing and asked my siblings to take care of the situation, to which they told me to ignore her and tell her to pay for it herself or order it online like the other dresses. I begged for them to tell her themselves or at least pitch in for a dress and they said no. I got so upset about this that my fiancé almost called them and my mom because I was having severe anxiety attacks which almost always led to seizures. I told him to leave it as is and that I would talk to my siblings one more time, particularly my brothers who had dealt with my mother’s craziness during their wedding planning process, and tell them that I helped her out with their wedding and that it seemed fair that they do the same for mine. So, AITA?

karmaismybf2023

AITA for telling my mother not to come to my wedding if she didn't pay for her dress?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acnba/aita_for_telling_my_mother_not_to_come_to_my/

18acnba

Background info: We're both women in our 30s. I work full time and they are a full time undergrad adult learner with part time gigs for cash. Bills, chores, etc are split evenly and no kids to worry about. We live together. So, I get that studies are stressful so I always offer and do help her if she needs a paper or presentation revised for grammar, flow, etc...but then there are times she asks me to do more, like read through an article that her assignment is on so I can then review her work for content accuracy. Our fields of work/study are completely different so I get that I would have to read the source material to attempt to understand, but I feel like this is an unreasonable ask. It feels like I'm being asked to do an assignment for a class I never signed up for. When I communicate that I don't want to do it and why, I'm usually met with statements that I don't actually care about helping, that it's not that hard, that it's a simple ask, etc. I feel like I should have the right to say no because I'm drained from work. Plus, being a student is her thing. She's currently giving me the cold shoulder and refusing to talk about the situation anymore. I don't know what to say to her to help her understand. So please help /me/ understand, AITA?

craftyocelot

AITA for refusing to help my partner with some assignments?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18aco9s/aita_for_refusing_to_help_my_partner_with_some/

18aco9s

I 13f is turning 14 very soon this week and I am excited, except for the fact that my dad is ruining it let me explain. I just feel like every time it’s my birthday they don’t ever let me plan anything. Also, my birthday is near Christmas, Mom‘s birthday five days away from mine, and wedding anniversary. So my birthday gets kind of overshadowed. I mean for example, my 10th birthday I wanted seafood, but my family didn’t want seafood so they decided to order pizza. Also, they always complain about the fact that I don’t know how to make decisions and I’m not acting my age. When they truly don’t ever let me they always baby me. I wear colorful clothing from children’s place. When I want shop at places my own age. So when they told me I was able to pick up my own clothing that was obviously appropriate. I was so excited. This will be my first time shopping for my own self. Since my younger sister 12 always gets the more mature clothing than me. And in general better treatment. Like I don’t even have a phone I have an iPad and my sister has a phone. So I always kind of envied her style but never showed it because I’m not that type of person. But let’s get to the story I was picking out clothing. My dad wasn’t even looking at. He said he was going to buy it today. But my mom got a call from him, saying that he decided to buy whatever he wanted for me. And it was the same type of clothes that he been buying me for the past 13 years. I was immediately upset because I spent the last two days looking at things I wanted and be so excited to finally pick out my own clothes. I was so upset at my mom and I said you guys never let me choose whatever I want. Then I was just yelling at my dad at the phone. He said I need to be more grateful.. I just always felt like I was getting treated like I was younger than my age. And my sister got the better treatment. AITA

Rainbow_Sprinkes

AITA for tell my dad he ruining my birthday

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acsmg/aita_for_tell_my_dad_he_ruining_my_birthday/

18acsmg

My sister has four daughters, and for the past two years, she's been hyper focused on her second daughter's relationship with her boyfriend. The daughter, my niece, stared dating her boyfriend a while ago but her mother didn't find out until much later that her boyfriend is from a very wealthy and well known family. Not sure how she didn't know, but I suspect my niece didn't tell her this and my sister only found out after she met the boyfriend and found out whose son he is. Ever since then, my sister is trying to manipulate and 'manage' her relationship to get her to push this guy into commitment. Telling her what to say to him, how to be with his family, etc. Then she gets mad when my niece does it her own way. She recently told my niece not to move in with him when he asked her if she would. My sister told her to tell him that she would only do so when they are engaged in order to push a commitment. My niece didn't do this and has agreed to move in with him without an engagement. My sister was berating her in front of me and I lost my cool and told her that she shouldn't train her daughter to be a social climber and that she herself was acting like one. We had an argument and she said she had her daughter's best interest in mind and that this guy clearly loved her a lot, so getting him to commit was in her best interests. We haven't talked much since. Anyway, my niece is lovely and mature, so I am confident that she'll make the right decisions independently. But was I an asshole towards my sister?

Ok-Mathematician826

AITA for telling my sister that she's being a social climber by trying to manipulate her daughter in her relationship with her wealthy boyfriend

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acxxs/aita_for_telling_my_sister_that_shes_being_a/

18acxxs

I f(41) & sis(37) have always had a rocky relationship. She has alot of past grievances as we were growing up & I being the bigger sister was not nice. Most of my adult life I have lived a country from the family. Less then 10yrs ago I moved near the family. We have been working on our relationship & she is quick to remind me we are on fragile ground still even though i have been trying really hard to mend this. I lost my oldest son earlier this year. It was unexpected & he was only 21yrs old. Fast forward to recent - I am struggling & even w/ my therapy & support group I'm having a really hard time as the holiday season moves into full force. I have been having a hard time sleeping at night. One night I was hitting a really low heart breaking point & it was like 1-2am & I needed to talk to someone close to me so I reached out to sis. Message was " Are you awake? This isn't an emergency I am just struggling and need to talk to someone who is close to me. Love you" . Well i was prepared to not get an answer she probably would be sleeping. No answer, next day realized my sister didn't even reach out to see if i was ok even a quick check. I did open the messages just in case somehow i missed a notification & I see that my message was read. Well several days went by w/ not even a hi. Sis is putting together this year's family Christmas. I just don't know if I will be ready to handle this Christmas w/ everyone. Now w/ this I told my partner & mom I am not going to go. I told them "I have put so much in my relationship w/ sis trying to make up for shit i did as a kid that kids do, that damn sure doesnt resemble who i am as a adult now & she cant even give 10secs to check on me when I reached out to her." Its not like I do this often when I reach out to sis. I really need help & support if I reach out." I tend to be the type that self suffers & afraid to bother others. A true people pleasure personality. Mom & part are telling me I am being too emotional & over reacting. Mom "She is probably busy & just forgot to send a message back." I should let this go & that I "need" to be w/ the family especially after this years events. I should be grateful & embracing the family that are here. That I'm putting my unsteady emotional mindset above everyone else just trying to find a way to avoid everyone. I am standing my ground. I give all the time & all i am asking for is someone that is family to care enough to check on me. Now my mom is pissed saying i ruined Christmas for her & the rest of the family w/ my drama. Not maybe Christmas being damper because i lost my fucking son!!. She even went as far to tell my part he can still come if I don't want to. If I don't want to be w/ family then I will be fine alone. AITA am I being too emotional & overreacting or for possibly just using this as an excuse because I am struggling & deep down don't want to go.

Macona1982

AITA for Refusing to Go to My Sister's Christmas Event

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18acyf0/aita_for_refusing_to_go_to_my_sisters_christmas/

18acyf0