Datasets:

derek-thomas

/

dataset-creator-reddit-amitheasshole

like 0

Throwaway account. I (37F) work in finance/HR for a medical tech startup. It’s a really nice job, though it’s a lot of hard work and takes up most of my time. So, my husband stays home with our son and daughter. I like our arrangement quite a bit, and even before we had kids, he said he would be happy to stay home with them. Recently, he’s been mentioning to me that he’d like to get back to work, and since the kids are getting older, he wants to look for something that he could do from home or that we could start splitting days working from home because my job does make it possible for me to work from home a few days a week. I’m open to the idea for sure, he’s been a really great stay at home dad all these years, and I’d hate for him to feel stifled or like he can’t also do something he’s passionate about. But, the problem is, he’s talking about applying for a position at my job that’s been open for a while and I often complain about being unable to fill. He mentioned it casually over dinner and seemed excited about the idea. He’s well qualified for the position, but to be totally honest, I’d rather not become essentially my husband’s boss. After dinner, I told him it wouldn’t be a good idea, and he should look at other jobs, and he seemed offended that I didn’t want to work with him. The conversation devolved into an argument. Basically he accused me of not supporting him going back to work. I accused him of not taking my feelings into consideration and being selfish. Now he’s sleeping in the guest room, and things have been super tense for a few days. AITA?

Throwaway284747293

AITA for not wanting my husband to come work at my job?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186czmy/aita_for_not_wanting_my_husband_to_come_work_at/

186czmy

Some much needed context : I (24M) spent the summer to study for exams to enter a veterinary school (subject of study is changed for anonymity purposes). This school is mandatory to exerce the profession, there is no other ways into it as it is a licensed trade. I have a masters degree in biology (also changed) from a very nice school that I studied hard for, that is mandatory to be able to enter the veterinary school. I studied and still live in town A but the veterinary school is in town B. My grandmother has a little flat in town B for investment purposes. It was lived in by my cousin Angela (F34) for many years and now by his brother Carl (M29). He has been in it for the last 2 years, after quitting his job that he had studied for because he didn’t like the work environment. He has been in the retail industry since then because why not I guess ? His life is a mess of his own making, but whatever to each their own. Last Christmas (2022), I told my family about my plans to go ahead in the next year for my veterinary school exams and that if I passed it I would have 2 years of school left in town B. I was met by support, and Carl told me that if I needed our grandmother’s flat at that time I could take it. I thanked him but told him there was still a long way before talking about that. Now is that time, I passed the first part of the exams with flying colors to my surprise and I finished the second part and am awaiting for the final results which are next Monday. I just had him on the phone and he told me that he didn’t want to pass on the flat to me because his situation is not ideal. Which I get, he’s not rolling in it, but he still has a decent income. While I would still be a student for the next 2 years, with some money from the internships along the way but nowhere near a full income. And the school starts at the beginning of 2024 so not much time to prepare when this was the plan all along. To add on to that, my parents are broke and cannot support me to get a flat. I am about ready to go berserk on him and my grandmother had the stance during this past year that she lets us resolve the matter of who gets the flat (that was before my cousin retracted his offer). I informed my mother and she will try to solve this with my aunt (daughters of my grandma). If my grandmother keeps this stance I am cutting her out and skipping this Christmas and the next all together. WIBT (entitled) A to let all hell lose if this blatant favoritism is not corrected ?

PearCouncil

WIBTA for breaking the family apart if my grandmother does not choose me over my cousin ?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186czzi/wibta_for_breaking_the_family_apart_if_my/

186czzi

I (f19) went to celebrate the holidays with my family multiple states away and went with my grandmother and grandfather. We all went to stay with my aunt, uncle and 2 young cousins. During the majority of the visit I was meeting new family members l've never seen before. My grandmother would say to other family members, "you probably don't remember her but she was 2 years old at (aunts name wedding and she wouldn't stop crying. She nearly ruined it!" I would just keep quiet about it, because at first it was funny. But I met about 20 new family members and my grandmother introduced me the same way with the same phrase. How I almost ruined their wedding because I cried when I was 10 years old. The family gathered around on thanksgiving and talked about the wedding, and my grandmother chimed in saying, "oh I didn't see their vows, I was outside with the baby. She was crying and almost ruined it. Okay. I get it. But at the same time it's getting old at this point. We went back to my aunts house and they continued talking to about the wedding. My grandma brought up how I cried the whole time and they had to take me outside and miss out on the wedding. Even when someone else would try to carry me I'd cry. But also if you're a sensible person and don't want that kind of issue then DONT BRING BABIES TO A WEDDING. I had gotten so sick of them tell me I nearly ruined her wedding. I was 2 years old so I don't know how they expected any different from 2 year old me. I got upset and told her "stop talking about the wedding" and she went quiet and looked upset. I feel kind of bad but it's been driving me crazy for the past week but I also feel stressed out having to hear about something I had no control over. Tell me, AITA?

ieatsushi28

AITA for telling my grandmother to stop talking about my aunts wedding?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186d1ha/aita_for_telling_my_grandmother_to_stop_talking/

186d1ha

So I (f32) have a friend who’s also my neighbor (f34) we have kids of similar ages and things are usually pretty good but right now we’re in a fight that I don’t know how to solve. My friend (I’ll call Jenny) and her boyfriend both work during the day as nurses. Their work days vary depending on what days they have their respective kids but are gone full days at the same time several days a week. Several weeks ago Jenny told me they’d be getting a puppy. I told her they’d have to come up with a plan to have her taken care of on days they work. I told them on no uncertain terms that leaving an eight week old puppy for 8+ hours a day is animal cruelty and neglect. on days they work. I guess my words fell on deaf ears though. On Friday they brought home a beautiful eight week old Samoyed puppy. She’s absolutely precious. They have been home alternating days since then so she hasn’t been alone. I’ve also volunteered to look after her while they’ve run errands and it’s been positively lovely. Today it came out that both Jenny and her boyfriend have to work tomorrow and there is no plan for her care. The puppy is to be alone gated in their kitchen till they get home from their shifts. This will be a regular thing 2 to 4 days a week. At first I volunteered to take the puppy during the day on days they work. I sent a text earlier doing so. However is the day went on I got more and more frustrated at the pressure I felt to take on an additional responsibility and upset with my friend for not planning ahead. It culminated in a phone call where I asked her why hadn’t they planned for this? She said they have no money to pay for something like doggy daycare and I asked her if she thought it was responsible to get a dog if they couldn’t pay for its care. I told her it felt like they got a puppy because it’s cute with no additional thought to the challenges that come with it. She said she felt attacked and that it was none of my business and hung up on me. Now she’s not talking to me and I don’t know where to go from here. I feel like I shouldn’t have said anything and should have just taken the puppy knowing the situation it would be in, but also feel like as my friend my thoughts should have some value. AITA?

hondapreludeandfugue

AITA For telling my friend she’s irresponsible about her puppy?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186d7o6/aita_for_telling_my_friend_shes_irresponsible/

186d7o6

My dad 54 M always seems to come into the lounge when I’m half way through a movie. I have no issue with that as the lounge is a shared space and he can do what he wants. My issue is that he will start asking me questions about the film I’m watching while I’m trying to watch it. Example would be if I was watching UP and he asked me where the old man was going and why he was going on this adventure, and why can the dog talk and what’s the little boy doing. I didn’t mind doing it occasionally, but it happens every time I watch a movie now and it’s super annoying. So I just started saying “you needed to have watched from the beginning” or “idk” He gets super annoyed whenever I do it but I don’t want to have to pause every movie I watch to explain it to him. And sometimes you need to finish the movie to understand so so idk what I can explain.

Optimal_Passenger501

AITA for refusing tell my dad the missing parts to movies he misses.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186d8xx/aita_for_refusing_tell_my_dad_the_missing_parts/

186d8xx

My fiancé "Jen" (29f) just gave birth to our daughter 2 months ago. She strictly breastfeeds, so as you can imagine, she gets far less sleep than I do. During the day I help with changing or holding her but all feedings are up to Jen (the baby outright refuses a bottle- we have tried several times, but ultimately we are both okay with this). Anyways, I'm kind of a independent start up video game developer. I did make one video game 2 years ago but it honestly wasn't that great. So while I do get revenue from it, it's definitely not much or even a liveable wage. This time around however I'm working with 4 other people and the game is turning out great. I also work a 9-5. But after getting home, having dinner with my fiancé and looking after the baby for awhile, I jump on and work on the game. For the past 2-3 nights I have been up til 1-2am working on the game and I have been ultra tired. I snore like a maniac when I'm tired. It's super embarrassing because I truly sound like a mack truck. But yesterday the baby had her 2 months shots and she was so fussy. Cried way more than normal. It was super hard for my fiancé to get her to sleep. I finally went to bed around 2am and my fiancé immediately asked me to sleep on the couch so I wouldn't wake the baby with my snoring. I said no. I was so tired and the couch is not comfortable at all. I had to work early. I wanted to sleep. She didn't fight it but she called me a "fucking prick" and walked out of the room with the baby. I woke up this morning to the baby in the crib in the nursery and my fiancé asleep on the floor with no pillows/blankets. She still won't talk to me.

Frosty_Care_2341

AITA for refusing to go in another room so my fiancé and the baby could sleep alone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dd6e/aita_for_refusing_to_go_in_another_room_so_my/

186dd6e

My friend's birthday is this weekend, and for months I have been on the fence about staying in town for it. The reason for this is my boyfriend, who I live two and a half hours away from and only see maybe once or twice a month, celebrates his birthday (today) on the same day as his mom's, which is also the same day as my friend's. Last year, I didn't go to my boyfriend's/his mom's birthday party because I stayed with my friend since she was having a party, too, and I felt bad choosing my boyfriend over her, so I stayed in town with her. This year, my boyfriend's mom invited me to their birthday dinner well over a month in advance, and I told them I wasn't sure because my friend would feel betrayed if I chose to go to my boyfriend instead of staying for her birthday. I mentioned I'd been invited to my friend a while ago and she told me I better not leave town or choose to be with my boyfriend over her. So I dropped it. Today, my friend told me she was probably going to celebrate her birthday a different day since other people she wanted to celebrate with would be out of town this weekend also, so she was just going to stay home and watch movies (we are also roommates). Now, I saw this as a chance to go and visit my boyfriend this year for their celebration in this case. If she was celebrating another day, I don't see a problem in me leaving this weekend, especially when all her other friends are gone, too. I thought it was fair since I did stay with her last year and missed out with my boyfriend that I could be with him this year. I've still gotten her a gift, and I asked her if she would be offended if I did leave since she was planning on celebrating a different day. She was quiet and just said, "I don't know," clearly showing she wasn't okay with it. I can see her side, as I'd be leaving her alone, but I also just wish she would go home to her parents, but she won't because it's their anniversary so she feels overlooked. I feel guilty deciding I want to go to see my boyfriend this weekend, but I feel bad leaving her alone. I would just be miserable staying, though, as I haven't seen my boyfriend in weeks and miss him so much. I'd be wishing every second I was home that I was with him. Am I the asshole for wanting to leave to celebrate and be with him over staying home with my friend to watch movies with her on her birthday?

KarinaTheYak

WIBTA for not staying in town for my friend's birthday

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dhq5/wibta_for_not_staying_in_town_for_my_friends/

186dhq5

Using a throwaway bc my husband follows my normal reddit account.. This feels dumb to even have an issue about(or post about) but it's become an argument with my husband To start background is needed: I've been with my husband for 11 years, married 6 years, and we have a 3 year old. We live next door to my in-laws and I LOVE them(thankfully!) and my husband is an only child. My parents live less than an hour away. I'm one of 4 girls, we are all very close, and are all married (none have children yet besides us) and all but one live close to my parents As we all got married, we started doing what most people do and alternate holidays with in laws, this year it was "in law" Thanksgiving and my parents Christmas. So, here comes Christmas. This is where the problem lies. My parents like for all siblings and husbands to come stay for multiple days (like 3-5 days!) Everyone typically arrives the day before Christmas eve and leaves 1-2 days after Christmas. My husband and I already go outside of the "norm" for Christmas when it's my parents turn. The reason is, my in laws have always celebrated their Christmas on Christmas Eve, so, even if it's my parents Christmas we ALWAYS join my in laws for Christmas Eve (this is fine with me). My husband would like us to stay home, sleep at our house, wake up, open presents to each other and with our child (like we did last year) then go to my parents. We are not early risers.. There's no way we could get to my parents house before 11am and we would be missing breakfast, which one of my favorite Christmas traditions with my family (he's under the believe we Could make it. We absolutely wouldn't.) What I want, because it's supposed to be my parents Christmas, is to leave after Xmas eve festivities are finished and head to my parents so we can wake up and just be there. I just want to wake up and be there, relax and enjoy breakfast. My husband says he wants this to be our own tradition. He's irritated with me that I'm not budging on this and is acting like I'm being an AH who puts my family before his. Maybe I've assumed incorrectly how people usually divide time with family in marriage.. Idk.. Am I being unreasonable here, AITAH? Editing to add: My husband and I have already discussed future years and we know we will likely changing up how we do holidays in the next couple of years as we are hoping to have second child and that will only further complicate things. I'm guessing this will be the last year of this tradition for my husband and I. By the time it's my parents Christmas again, we'll probably have to completely change how we do things and we probably won't be able to spend the same time with my family on Christmas in the future. We would both love to create our own traditions, I'm all for it, but with the clock ticking on being able to enjoy traditions for what they are right now, I want to enjoy it while it lasts. We can always start new traditions as the dynamic of our family changes as children get older, IMO.. Edit #2: Breakfast is at 9.. Not 11. I see how I made that confusing but I was saying that if we did it his way at the slow pace I know we will be moving I don't even think we would get there till around 11

Human_Ganache_

AITAH For not wanting to do what my husband wants to do for Christmas?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dj5n/aitah_for_not_wanting_to_do_what_my_husband_wants/

186dj5n

Backstory I 37m is starting to go gray. I am getting very self conscious aboutmy age. I work with mostly 20 year olds and I'm starting to feel my age the gray beard isn't helping so I told my family I'm going to shave it and be clean shaven for awhile. All five members of my family wife and 4 kids objected and suggested I just dye it. I feel like dying it would just make me feel old. So would I be the asshole if I just did it anyway.

Sea-Complaint8532

WIBTA IF I SHAVED MY BEARD

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dmzt/wibta_if_i_shaved_my_beard/

186dmzt

Ok, so I didn't think I am the AH at first but given my family's reaction (mostly my mum tbh), I might be and not see it. For some background: I (F in my 30s) do not like children. I don't wish them harm but I have a limited amount of patience/tolerance for kids. Usually, that gets me through a couple family functions a year (I have well past blown up my limit already) + encounters with small humans in the wild (at the store, the park or other public places). I am also not comfortable when there are lots of people around that I am supposed to interact with (ie. large dinners). Now, my parents went to visit my uncle a couple weeks back. While there, people present came up with the idea of a big family Christmas like we used to do when we were younger. My mother called me to explained the plan. She did not ask me IF I was in, just stated what was going to happen. I did not show any excitement to the news and started telling her I would likely not go but she cut the call short before I could finish my sentence. We talked about it some time later as she was explaining there would be a secret Santa etc... I told her I was not interested in attending for a couple reasons (mainly a bunch of kids running around but also the presence of several dogs meaning I would have to take a large dose of allergy medicine to make it through the evening and it would make me very drowsy this unable to drive back home). She asked me to think about it and that we would talk about it later. I agreed but said it was very unlikely I would change my mind. Today I learned that she told the family that I was coming (she actually did it right after the first phone call). I texted the family member hosting telling them I was not coming and explaining why. They were a bit disappointed but understanding and things are good with them. My mum, on the other hand, went ballistic and tried to gaslight me, saying I agreed to come (definitely not!), that I was excited about it (WTF?) and she makes it seems like I'm a bitch for not wanting to spend Christmas with them. We are supposed to spend the 25th together, I just declined the large family dinner on the 24th. For context, when I say I don't want to spend the evening with excited young children it is because I know myself and I have zero patience for children during the holidays. I am afraid I might just snap aggressively at one of them. That would definitely cause tensions within the family + it would be unfair to the child as it's not their fault I am the way I am. Best case scenario would be the meds completely knocking me off which would also be perceived as me being rude and would mean I can't drive back when/if I get overwhelmed. I'd be stuck with my parents as my ride, the thought of which causes me anxiety. Hence why I'd rather skip dinner altogether. It's a win/win situation from my perspective : I don't get anxious/overwhelmed/ruin the night and they can enjoy their evening with the little ones. So Reddit, am I an insensitive AH?

FedUpUnic0rn

AITA for declining to attend a large family dinner on Christmas Eve?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dpj6/aita_for_declining_to_attend_a_large_family/

186dpj6

I (m20) am put in charge of taking down the christmas decorations from the attic every year during the holiday season. Normally I do this on the weekend, when its light outside and the temperature isn’t as cold. Well it seems I apparently forgot a box this year because I come home to my family basically yelling at me and trying to force me to go into the attic again. For context on this day: I commute to school everyday and I work there as well. Today, I was making up thanksgiving hours so I was on campus for 10 hours. Then (bc I live in Houston) i got stuck in an extra hour of traffic. The only thing I ate today was a bag of goldfish (that one is on me). I also haven’t spoken to anyone today since the morning. So I come home a little grouchy and tired! For their context, they (my dad and sister) did do a lot of work today, I really don’t want to invalidate that! They dusted and cleaned and put up most of our indoor christmas decorations, and bought dinner. I do really appreciate what they did, so I do feel bad about forgetting the box. So I came home and they were aggressively trying to force me to go into the attic (its 8pm, dark and cold, an outdoor attic). I told them I would do it another day because I was tired, its late, etc. But they kept badgering me on and on and on. I admit I got a little emotional and frustrated so yes, I cried a little, and went to my room to change. Very embarrassing. But now they are being very cold to me so I’m like…was I the asshole? Should I have just taken 10 minutes to take the stuff down ?

eggzelllent

AITA for not bringing down all of the christmas decorations from the attic

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186drex/aita_for_not_bringing_down_all_of_the_christmas/

186drex

My gf and I have been together for 3 years and we moved in in April. She is a great cook and learned from her Italian grandma but she can make almost everything under the sun. She travelled a lot when she was younger and loves Asian food the most. I thought I was a good cook but she says my cooking is terrible. She took over the cooking now that we live together and tried to teach me but then got impatient because she thought I wasn’t trying. I am but she gets mad when I don’t get it the first time. I don’t think she’s that great of a teacher. She got mad because I didn’t check if my chicken was done by cutting into it and making sure it isn’t pink. I usually just poke it like she does but she insists I should cut into it because I’m not very experienced. Recently she’s wanted me to cook once a week and I’ve been trying even though it’s clearly not coming out very well. She is a way better cook why doesn’t she just cook? She clearly enjoys it but she insists I have to learn. I can feed myself but I don’t feel the need to get as good as her. Clearly her food is better but I can survive on my cooking so it’s good enough for me. Anyway I cooked chicken and broccoli and she ate a few pieces and then got up and cut up the chicken and it was pink. She got really angry and yelled at me for trying to give her food poisoning. It’s clearly just a mistake and I apologized but she had diarrhea for a few days and had to miss work. Now she won’t cook for me and just cooks for herself. I usually eat out now that she doesn’t pack me Tupperware and it’s really sad because it’s one of the things I really enjoyed. Sitting down for lunch and seeing what she made for me. I told her she is punishing me for no reason and she’s gotten mad and told me I intentionally didn’t cook the chicken right and Im always expecting her to cook like Im a kid. Im pretty pissed by her comments and we’ve argued over it but I guess it’s her right not to cook for me.

Ok-Term-4390

AITA for wanting my gf to cook for me after I gave her food poisoning?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186dtqd/aita_for_wanting_my_gf_to_cook_for_me_after_i/

186dtqd

i (24f) live with my sister (19f) - i recently graduated and started working full time. she is a student at the university that i just graduated from and does not work. since she goes to school and i work in the same city my parents thought it would be great if we lived together and got an apartment closer to the close that she won’t have to worry about having a long drive to school (as a result it takes me about 34-40 minutes in the morning and about an hour on the way back home). we are POLAR opposites in nearly every aspect, but despite this we still get along fairly well. she recently told me that i very rarely initiate hanging out with her and that it upsets her. i didn’t know she felt this way. from my perspective, i spend most of my day commuting to work or at work so when i come home i’m usually pretty tired and i don’t have much time to take care of the things that i want/need to do before i need to start getting ready for the next day. this leaves only the fridays/the weekend to hang out. usually we will try to grab something to eat or see a movie or even walk around the mall at least once a week - but it’s true that it is usually initiated by her. i feel bad because she doesn’t really have many close friends here and doesn’t go outside which leaves only me as her only social interaction, but when i come home from work i really just want to lay down and spend the two hours of free time i havé doing things that i enjoy…alone. i also have my own friends that i try to see on the weekends, hour long phone calls with my parents after work, hobbies, chores, gym, etc. i don’t know. am i in the wrong for not initiating these things?

paintypotpots

AITA for not initiating hangouts with my sister

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186e3na/aita_for_not_initiating_hangouts_with_my_sister/

186e3na

AITA for Preparing in Worst Case Scenario I have not always had the most stable life. (Some background) Right now I’m an engaged single mother. My child is nearly six years old and her bio dad and I have minimal contact. Basically only contacting each other to arrange phone calls or visitation dates. All civil. My fiancé has been in my child’s life since she was 2 and even calls him “ Dad”. I have been working all 3 years we have been living together. Keeping a stable job whereas he has been working maybe a total of 6 months between multiple jobs in that amount of time. We live at his fathers house all in one room. When he lost his job the first time he had taken on the stay at home dad role. And was fantastic about it, until his father told me he would no longer allow his son to “babysit” and that I had to put her in daycare or something while I worked my 40 hour work week. His son needs time to look for a new job. That was years ago and I have been struggling to pay for daycare then after school care… still just my minimum wage income. (Now for the Story) I have been in contact with old friends from across the country, they say that they’d be happy to have me and my little as a roommate and there are many opportunities in my field where they live… I began job searching out there and asking them about schools and the whatnot. Mainly as a backup plan. I’ve prepared savings with what little I can save. I’ve prepared with addresses of shelters in case his father doesn’t want my child and I living there anymore. Or in case moving in with his mother falls through. I’ve attempted to file for section 8 in the past but have been called selfish and unrealistic for that as well. Well I’ve been caught filing for section 8/living assistance again. I got called an A-hole for not believing in my fiancé and going behind his back. I told my side saying I just like to feel secure with a safety net as I may be comfortable living in my car if needed but I can’t do that to my child. I was told to just keep doing what we are doing and that everything will work out. Being told that my “escape plan” shows that I’m ungrateful for all he’s done for me and my child and that I don’t love him and I am just using him. Am I really the A-hole for wanting to be prepared for the worst?

Apprehensive_Pace757

AITAH For Preparing for the Worst.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186e5c2/aitah_for_preparing_for_the_worst/

186e5c2

My husband (31M) and I (31F) have been married for 9 years. We met online and I moved from CA to WA state when got together and got married a year after. His parents have never liked me and I’ve been patient about it but I admit it’s hard not to hold onto their hurtful words They’ve called me white trash (my mom and uncles have had addictions) that I just moved to get away from my home life etc. It’s hard to describe his parents. They’re christian and “nice” but the feeling of condemnation you feel when with them is hard to miss. The first year we were together his mom sat me down and said she wasn’t sure I was right for her son because I didn’t grow up with a dad (he got hit by a car days after I was born) aside from that conversation they have never come to me and voiced their feelings. They tell everyone else or my husband. I have a million stories I could share honestly lol. But you get the idea always dragging my name through the mud, never saying it to me..but my husband has 11 siblings and 5 of them are younger so we’ve always tried to put aside the differences between his parents and I in order to have a good relationship with his little siblings. I won’t lie it’s always been so uncomfortable for me to go to his parents (they live an hour away) but my husband wants them in his life so we usually go once a month and had the “tradition” to do Christmas Eve at their house and drive home to do Christmas at ours with my family who have moved here. But this last year a situation happened where they were all convinced I was having a torrid affair with mine and my brothers best friend from childhood (he lives with us as well as my mom and grandma live here too) I am not, he’s like another brother and I’ve never cheated on anyone but it didn’t stop his younger sisters from gossiping with everyone I know and her parents and it causing me so much stress and depression that I told my husband I have to be done with his parents for right now He understood for the most part. This latest event happened this summer and things have been more peaceful since I’ve stepped back my husband is on good-ish terms with them which is great for him I wouldn’t try and stop their relationship but my husband mentioned last night that we should go a few days early to spend time with his parents since we haven’t seen them since summer. Took me off guard and I thought it was a joke I told him I am not going and while I would miss him he’s welcome to go spend Christmas Eve with them. He called me selfish and that if I’m a good Christian I need to not hold grudges and I said its beyond that. They have never come to me to talk about anything to remedy it and I won’t pretend everythings ok He said if I was serious about not going then it would be a big problem for him since he lets my family live with us. So I’m at a loss if im being an asshole for refusing to go?

Thickness1021

AITA For refusing to go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186e5ds/aita_for_refusing_to_go_to_my_inlaws_for/

186e5ds

So my sister lives in another state and she had planned to come visit me without asking what days I’d be available. I initially had explained to her that the next two months(November -dec) I’d be incredibly busy due to to work and the holidays. She proceeded to state the following “so what you’re too busy for your own sister” which I answered with “no it’s not that it’s just that I’m doing alot of make up work, why don’t you come in January” and she followed with “I can’t then and my points expired ” so I said that I’d see her during Christmas’s and it would be fine. She continued to persist on coming even when I told her that I’d have to work since the following weekend I have to leave town and doing a lot of my stuff this upcoming weekend. I’m leaving the following weekend for my BFFs engagement party in which my sister said “so what she can’t wait or can’t you cancel”. Here’s why part of me doesn’t feel bad lying to her. The only reason she’s coming is because where I live there’s a store with amazing deals (on high end stuff)that she discovered. It’s not because she wants to visit me. It’s because she wants to get her friends Christmas presents from there. How did I know this? Well because she made it very clear to another family member. Not to mention if she wanted to see me, she would’ve tried to make it on the days that. Work for both of us. So before y’all are like “she’s your family, you don’t do that. To family”. I agree. I wouldn’t do this if my family member was genuinely visiting me and not using me to go shopping to some store. My sister has extreme entitlement behavior. It’s a know thing in the family. I try to look pass it. For reference I work Saturday 8-5 . Then Monday/Tuesday 8-6. I’ve been traveling for work alot so I ideally wanted to spend Sunday resting and getting my stuff ready for the engagement party and not hosting and taking her shopping. So WIBTA if I told her I was sick and she shouldn’t come?

Natural-Bobcat-4695

WIBTA if I(28)lied to my sister(35) that I am too sick for her to come over .

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ee9j/wibta_if_i28lied_to_my_sister35_that_i_am_too/

186ee9j

So this story includes me, my sister, and my girlfriend. My girlfriend is staying with me for reasons unrelated to this post. My sister and I both have our own cars but my girlfriend does not. We were staying down South for the night which is about 30 min from where my girlfriend works. I also work about 5-10 min from where we were staying down south. My girlfriend and I both had work the next morning at about 8-9am and my sister did not. So this story begins when we all get down south to have dinner. I should also add that we were visiting my dad so we all had a place to sleep. So when we get there my sister says that she might go back up north tonight because she doesn’t want to wake up in the morning. I asked her if she would please stay the night so she could take my girlfriend up north with her in the morning so we could spend the night together. At first she didn’t really want to but then agreed to it. When it was getting time to go to bed my sister said she was heading back up north. I was confused because she said she would help me out and go in the morning. She said to me “No, I only lied to you so you wouldn’t be upset with me the whole night.” I was upset with her because there have been many times before she had a car that I would make little sacrifices like these to help her out. I tried to use this reasoning with her but she wouldn’t budge. After I realized she wasn’t going to help me I told her “Are you sure you don’t want to help me out? There is going to be a time in the future you’re gonna need my help and I’m not going to.” She said whatever and left anyways. So I ended up driving my girlfriend and me up north the same night because she worked earlier than me and then I just drove 20 min back down to my work. To be clear, it’s not that we couldn’t have spent the night apart I just didn’t really want to and I figured since I have helped my sister multiple times in the past, she would help me. Also my sister and my girlfriend do not dislike each other. So the fateful day comes not two days later when my sister calls me and asks if I will help her with her car. I laughed and said “didn’t I ask you for a favor not too long ago?” She didn’t like this response because she started getting angry with me. Also to be clear it was nothing that would cause her harm if not taken care of. So she hung up on me and called my mom. Then my mom called me and said that I should forgive her and help her. I laughed and told her “why should I go out of my way to help her when she was so un willing to help me?. My dad was also brought into this but he mostly sided with me. AITA?

RuleAffectionate1264

AITA for not helping my sister with her car?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ew46/aita_for_not_helping_my_sister_with_her_car/

186ew46

AITA… So about 7 months ago some friends (M34 W 37) came over and my wife (31) shows them a house that she found but I had shot down because of all of the things going on in our life (my wife was 8 months pregnant). We all end up discussing and everyone went back and forth about why we each should or should not buy it but all fell in love with the pictures when really digging in. My wife made a comment to the effect of “Oh no, what if we both love it” and I responded that of course this was not going to end our friendship and if one or the other really fell in love, we would back out. I assumed this comment was common sense, and would never come between us plus made it offhandedly as we all were drinking wine. My wife and I decide to set up a showing first while all still hanging out and then they ended up setting one too. We both go see it separately (us first) and tell each other we are both putting an offer on it. Our offer won out and they were livid. We gave them 24 hours before saying anything as we understand losing out on anything can be hard. 48 hours later my friends wife responded questioning our character and stating we intentionally betrayed referring to my comment about backing out if someone loved it. These people were our very best friends, in our wedding, included in family events and the husband and I have been friends since 7th grade. We apologized at length and even were texting amicably before the seller made a decision. So we had no idea they were upset we were bidding as they had no reaction when we told them the day prior (again my wife found the house). Our friendship of over 25 years is over and I am devastated. They assumed the worst intentions and after 7 months are still unwilling to even have a conversation. I tried hard at first but honestly the constant rejection or ignoring my attempts to reconcile took their toll. I think of them often and am still heartbroken. Part of me wants to start asking to talk again but the other part of me doesn’t want to deal with the hurt and pain that will inevitably cause given we are so far apart on this. Should I have not bought the house because we showed it to them? This all transpired in under 24 hours and 7 months later they still won’t speak to us. I just don’t understand how we did anything different than they did but have no hard feelings on our end. I love them and miss them dearly but do I try to talk again or just let them go? Am I the asshole?

HistoricalCoyote1536

AITA for buying a house my friends wanted

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186excf/aita_for_buying_a_house_my_friends_wanted/

186excf

I'm currently quite sick with pancreatitis that is taking its sweet time to heal. Could be chronic, not sure yet. I'm on a restrictive diet, had to break my 8 year vegetarianism last night just to find something other than vegetables and lentils to eat, feeling kinda crappy about that. I have pain, chills, sweats after eating and at night. And 50% of the time I'm unable to keep my food down. We were texting as I was getting the bus home. It was about something else but I mentioned I felt really sick. I raced through the grocery store trying not to vomit, and came home and vomited. I sat down with him to have a 5 min chat about our days. I got up to go make us dinner. I was watching something on my phone while he played video games on the TV. When dinner was ready, I laid the table (supposed to be his job but I said nothing) and put the plates on the table. He had gotten up a few minutes before to go get his laundry and hang it up (we do laundry separate and like it the way). I sat down still watching my phone as he wasn't ready yet. He sat down a couple mins later and I put the phone away straight away. He said something about me going in the other room to eat and continue watching if I wanted. I said no it was fine. During dinner, he was talking a lot about his work, job, something interesting that happened that day, telling me about the podcast he listened to etc. I think he asked me again if anything happened in my day and I just said no (it didn't and was a thoroughly boring regular uneventful day). He didn't ask me any other questions. We sat in silence for the last few minutes of dinner and then I just cleaned up and went into my office to work (I'm a part time student in addition to the full time job so work on my course in evenings). As I'm very unwell at the moment, I came out to run to the toilet again (I'll spare you the details). After I was done, I just popped into the living room and waited for his game to be finished, then tried to chat with him about how I just wasn't feeling well and hope we're ok. He went on and on about how he'd tried to make conversation at dinner. I apologised and just said I really don't feel well. I essentially explained everything I've said above. He said something about how, if I won't make conversation with him, there's no point in us eating at the table together. I apologised again and just said ok, sorry you feel that way. I reiterated that I just had no energy today and was running on a few nights of 5-6 hours sleep. He's determined to die on this hill. I ended up getting very firm with him and said it's not my job to go to work all day, cook him dinner then sit there entertaining him over dinner when I'm trying to battle liquids coming out of both ends, a potentially chronic health condition, extreme fatigue and, quite frankly, depression and exhaustion from it all. Should I have been more understanding that maybe he's feeling lonely/neglected? AITA for not reciprocating his conversation?

Elliskarae

AITA for not making conversation with my boyfriend over dinner?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186f5vv/aita_for_not_making_conversation_with_my/

186f5vv

Okay so my roommate (19F) literally gives me (18F) anxiety so I try not to start conversations with them because they’re very awkward and draining to talk to. (There’s a lot behind this, this is just a brief explanation). My roommate does not actually clean and by clean I mean using cleaning supplies or tools. I clean the bathroom and stuff, and I’m not exactly sure if they even realize how stuff gets clean or the difference it makes because when I’m not in the dorm for several days I always come back to something being dirty. An example of this is when I cleaned the bathroom rug (brushed all her hair off it and washed it in the washer). I then went home for like three days and came back to the black mat being dirty (having hair and white stuff on it). Or when I was gone for thanksgiving break and came back to the toilet having brown stains in it. anyways, after thanksgiving break Ive finally built the courage to stand on business and decided I willl tell them when something like this bothers me thru dm. The only thing is I feel I’m now gonna be asking them to do things everyday. Yesterday, I texted them if they can remove food (a jar and pizza box) off my mini fridge. I also asked if they could limit the amount of food they keep in my fridge because I literally had no room for my stuff. She said okay and told me she was gonna limit the amount of food but she kept the jar on top of my fridge…which I now have to tell her again to move. Today, I decided to tell her about the dirty sink (we have a bathroom in our dorm). One of my biggest pet peeve is toothpaste left on the sides of sinks and having to clean it up esp cuz I’m a semi-germaphobe. I’ve asked her before to clean it and she said okay and later told me she “cleaned it” except she really didn’t because there still was visible residue of toothpaste. I ended up cleaning it in the end but it got dirty like two days later. Anyways, the sink is currently dirty with food specs and her toothpaste. Because it’s clearly her mess I texted her this morning asking if she can clean it and she said okay. When I came back to the dorm it was clearly still dirty so I thought she hadn’t cleaned it yet but when she came back to the dorm she told me she cleaned it…meaning imma have to text her to do it again. Is it bad if I text her every morning to clean something? I already have to tell her about the bath mat that’s filled with her hair on it and another issue. I just don’t wanna text it all at once because I know she won’t effectively do multiple tasks if she can’t even do one. I don’t want to come off as bossy but I also feel she needs to know how to clean on her own especially at her age. Edit: I’d also like to add that I already ask them to not do things irl almost everyday like putting in earbuds and being quiet because they make noise in the dorm 24/7 in one way or another

Slow-Training-5263

WIBTA for asking roommate to clean everyday?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186feki/wibta_for_asking_roommate_to_clean_everyday/

186feki

Okay so last year me and my family of 4 got 2 cats for my little sisters birthday. She got a cat and I got a cat, I’ve always thought I’d be more of a dog person but I quickly changed my stance once I got my cat. Anyways my little sister barely takes care of her cat and most of the responsibilities end up falling on me and my older sister. So the cat has two owners but one of them barely looks after her.So fast forward to today my sisters cat throws up and I get concerned. I clean up the throw up, get the carrier, line it with a trash bag, add her water to it. The reason I didn’t use a playpen or a cage was because we didn’t have on on hand, even after I messaged my sister to get her one a week ago but for a different reason, even though the cat does tend to get sick around this time of year and this would be good incase I had to quarantine her just like I’ve done today. Anyways so I monitored from the morning until about 5pm, making sure she used the bathroom, got her dinner, and had water. But she had to stay in the carrier or in the closed bathroom while I monitored her to make sure she wasn’t showing any other symptoms of sickness & my cat wouldn’t go near her if she was sick and get infected. So my little sister came home and I thought she would monitor her at night so I was telling her what I was doing and making compromises with her so she can still sleep but also make sure the cat is ok for the night. Anyways she being difficult and saying “throwing up for cats is normal she’s been doing it”, “what if she has to use the bathroom” “just keep your cat in your room” etc. then she brought my mom into it saying “keeping her in the cold bathroom is cruel”, “what if she soils the carrier” etc. mind you I made sure she used the bathroom before I handed off the duties to my little sister but even then I didn’t expect much from her so I was still going to check up on her through the night. Also this is coming from the same mother who hit said cat with a belt & constantly threatens to put the cats on the streets. So that’s ironic. Anyways my older sister texted me today cause I guess the family told them I was being cruel or whatever and she telling me…keep my cat away from hers, don’t treat her cat bad, leave her cat alone etc. Which is wild to me because she’s on a trip and I’m taking care of it for her even though she has 2 owners??? And I tried to call her to see if she would buy a playpen for her cat so I could monitor her in a larger area and I’ll deal with the rest but she didn’t pick up. Am I buggin? Am I the asshole? (Edit: I forgot to mention she would only be in the carrier for that day, I didn’t buy the playplen myself because I’m im searching for a job after I finished school not long ago so my money is not up rn. If I could’ve I would’ve.)

PositiveAd9486

AITA for keeping a cat in a carrier the whole day?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fgm9/aita_for_keeping_a_cat_in_a_carrier_the_whole_day/

186fgm9

Here is the background story. I am from a southeast Asian suburban community, I have a circle of close “friends” about 6 couples. There are a lot of shifts in allegiance in this group. I found myself very close to Sara for several years. Sara held ridiculous standards for her daughter and obviously the daughter “Lucy” was not having it. The kid was OUT there Lucy ran into Kevin and ended up spending a drug and sex fueled night with him, according to her and her parents. Kevin was separated from another friend in our circle Susie. Susie and I were not in a good place, after her separation she made amends and we started to rebuild our once very close relationship. Sara, who I thought of as a sister, for whom I sat with nights on end consoling her about her”wayward” daughter, came to my house one day and told me that she can no longer be friends with me if I maintain any relationship with Susie . I was not having it!! It was not my daughter who slept with Susie’s husband We are not speaking and Sara has gone on to aggressively pursue a relationship with Susie. I am struggling with this information. I can not handle seeing Sara pandering to Susie, I find it offensive and insulting to Susie All of our kids know each other Should I tell Susie?? I feel like I am being a bad friend to her. All of our children are adults Basically, am I an Ahole for not telling my friend that her husband slept with another friends daughter? Hope that helps

Forward_Entry_222

AITA for not telling my friend that her husband (separated) slept with another friend’s daughter

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fkv9/aita_for_not_telling_my_friend_that_her_husband/

186fkv9

my wife feels like it’s disrespectful to give extra food from party’s in a plastic zip lock bag. ( we’ve been having a lot of events at our place lately) we are mexican and we make posole, soups, menudo and when people want to take the extra they take our tupper ware/ plastic containers( i’m not saying it’s expensive or expensive) but it feels like every one of our family memebers has some of our containers and they take weeks to return it or keep it. i don’t want to buy a new set of food containers and have mix matched everything so i said we can start giving them food baggies but she feels like it’s not right . i still gave guests extra food in a bag, and put a knot on it. the guests were fine with it but my wife gave me a glare and laughed along.

ayellowducky

AITAH for giving guests extra food in zip lock bags instead of Tupperware.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186flun/aitah_for_giving_guests_extra_food_in_zip_lock/

186flun

I work as a therapist at a treatment center with two buildings, one where the clients live and one where the admin offices are. There are individual mailboxes for each member of the admin team at the admin building (for internal and external mail). There is a single mailbox at the other building where staff put paperwork that needs to go to the clinical team (all internal mail). When I started working here, I was told the process was that the care coordinator (part of the admin team) checks the one mailbox and distributes the mail to the clinicians on the case. He says he does this on Tuesdays. As I’ve gotten more clients, there have been several times where I’ve gotten the paperwork 1-2 weeks after it has been completed. I have expressed to the case coordinator that this makes it difficult for me to address things with my clients. Also, there have been times in our weekly team meeting (which he is a part of) where we have needed documentation that is in the mailbox and so the meeting gets paused so someone can go check the mailbox. The meeting happens each week at the same time on Monday mornings. He’s talked about intending to be more timely. He had also talked a lot about feeling too busy, so for past 2(?), I have been skimming the papers in the mailbox so that I know if there’s anything pertaining to my clients. He has recently accepted another job and been in the process of transitioning for the past month. For the past 3 weeks, he has not checked the mailbox (which I know because I look through it). Two weeks ago, we needed documentation that was in it for one of my clients, so I grabbed that in preparation for the meeting. This past week, I again grabbed the documentation that we needed. At the end of the day, he stopped by my office and the following conversation ensued: Him: Do you have 5 minutes? Me: Sure what’s up. Him: Don’t take anything out of my mailbox again. Me: Okay. It’s helpful for me to have paperwork before I see my clients. Are you able to get the mail on Monday mornings? Him: You also took the [documentation]. Me: Yes, for the meeting. I was trying to be helpful. But would you be able to get the mail on Mondays? Him: No, I don’t think that I will have time for that change Me: What about on Fridays, so there’s at least some that gets brought over. Him: Maybe. I might remember. But I don’t want you to check it. The biggest piece where I feel like an asshole is that I am not surprised he was upset and didn’t want me checking the mail. In the past, when I’ve asked if he needs help, he has told me my asking is offensive because it implies he is incompetent. I also know he thinks of it as “his” mailbox. And that he in general doesn’t like me. But in this situation, am I the asshole?

isileegoosegirl

AITA for checking my coworker’s mailbox

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fmop/aita_for_checking_my_coworkers_mailbox/

186fmop

My grandma and parents had a falling out when I (25F) was in middle school. Since then, I haven’t had very much contact with my grandma. We never really had a very close relationship, but I remember her taking care of us, and she was the one that brought me to church when I was little which led to me being Catholic today, so I’m very grateful to her for that. I wouldn’t say she was a typical grandma — she enjoyed her space and didn’t particularly dote on us. She wasn’t perfect and I would say my parents were valid for cutting contact, even if that’s not what I would have done. My mom in particular feels slighted by the things my grandma did. She randomly called me again and she calls every couple months since then just to check up on me. Every time I’ve talked to her, out of respect for my parents, I’ve told them about it. Recently I gave birth and told my grandma about it. Since then she’s been calling more often and seeing how things are. She even sent a hand knit baby blanket for my son. I don’t mind sharing the joy of my child with her. My mom came to visit me for three weeks after my son was born to help me out. I felt as though she was weirdly possessive of him. I don’t know if she meant it this way, but I felt like she was implying that she was a better mother than me and she could take better care of him. Which whether or not it’s true, idk but it hurt. Since my mom left, I know that she misses him so I try to FaceTime her everyday so she can see my son.Today my grandma called and I asked her if she wanted to see my son and FaceTimed her. I told my mom about it after and she was like “why did you let her see my baozi” (our nickname for my son means bun in Chinese). I wasn’t happy because he’s MY son. She was joking mad but I could tell she was not happy. The more I stood my ground, the more irritated she got. I said that she didn’t have to be mean (she was not being kind towards my grandma) and that she was still my grandma. She tried telling me that I don’t really have a relationship with her and that I don’t even really care for her and I said that’s not true and that she doesn’t get to decide what my relationship is with my grandma. I tried telling her that we’re just different people, she holds grudges and I don’t. She admitted that she actually just wants me to ignore my grandma and I was like, no I’m not doing that, she’s said “even though she treated me so badly?” In my opinion, yes she did disrespect my mother but it’s not the kind of disrespect that you can’t get over if you turn the other cheek and be the bigger person. In the end she just stopped talking (she does that when she’s mad) and I was like “hello?” and hung up and tried again in case it was the connection but she didn’t pick up so she’s ignoring me. So my question is AITAH for not sticking by my mom’s side? It’s hard for me to see the situation clearly because my mom is toxic to me in other ways so sometimes I just assume she’s the AH. What should I do?

newmama-22

AITAH for not standing by my mom by talking to my grandma?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fnaq/aitah_for_not_standing_by_my_mom_by_talking_to_my/

186fnaq

I (20m) am of “Mexican descent” but I don’t speak Spanish and I’m not in touch with the culture. I can’t dance either or know how to make food that’s been passed down from family so I don’t consider myself Mexican at all. My mom wants me to be around the culture but it’s too late, I’m already an adult, too old to learn and Language, too old to learn how to dance and culture is what you were raised with so you need to be raised learning how to dance, cook and speak Spanish. She wanted me to help her celebrate the day of the day and I refused. To me it’s cultural appropriation at this point if I pretend like it’s my culture. She tried to bring up Mexican music i used to listen too as a kid and I tell her to turn it off. It’s gotten to a point where she’s gotten mad at me and she told me it’s her house but I pay rent so if I don’t want to be around her culture then I don’t have to.

davgloriamo

AITA for not helping my mom celebrate her culture?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fpm0/aita_for_not_helping_my_mom_celebrate_her_culture/

186fpm0

This year my family decided to start a messenger group to discuss what people want for xmas. We each post links to things we would like, someone says what they're going to buy for so and so -- this way, everyone knows what everyone else wants, and we can figure out who's gifting what to who. My aunt just got upset because, to her understanding, we were suppose to each message one another on our own, to tell eachother what we are giving to each person. Not only would that be tedious, but that also means each of us would need to let the others know individually, if what they planned on gifting has already been chosen. In doing it this way, we "ruin the surprise." ​ The youngest person in the group is 29, and none of us care about being surprised. Truth be told, most of us don't even care to give gifts anymore, but we do it because in past years where we discussed not giving gifts, or only buying for one person each, or donating toys to tots, she's made a stink about it -- because "it just wouldn't be Christmas without gifts." I told her that it would be too complicated and a hassle for some (( grandparents, less internet/computer savvy )) and..((possible asshole moment!)) that we're all adults -- the surprise isn't all that important, is it? I then apologized and said she's entitled to her opinion, and I'm sorry if the surprise is ruined. I think what I said may have been a little insensitive, but it's the truth. Personally, I find the gift giving part of xmas to be the actual least important part of the holiday, but to each their own. ​

Heavy-Metal-Titan

AITA for telling my aunt that "being surprised" on Xmas isn't a huge deal?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ftnt/aita_for_telling_my_aunt_that_being_surprised_on/

186ftnt

I (F23) have just finished the first part of my graduate program and am living at my parents house over the winter, as my program begins again in the spring. When I moved back in for this break, my parents and I had a discussion about what mg contribution to the household would be. I offered to pay rent, but they told me to save my money, and instead we agreed that I would contribute to the household with chores such as cooking, cleaning, and most importantly, taking care of the pets. We were all very happy with this arrangement. I picked up a part time job over break and on my way home one day, I found two stray kittens sheltering under my car. After searching the area thoroughly and finding no sign of a mother cat (I also work in an area where people notoriously dump unwanted animals), I called my parents and asked if I could bring them to the house for a few days while I called local shelters. My parents agreed. The kittens stayed in our back room, quarantined from the other pets, for a week while I called shelters and foster families in my area. Unfortunately, no one had room. During this week I took full responsibility for the kittens including feeding, socializing, and cleaning up after them. At the end of the week I told my parents there had been no luck but I would continue trying, and my parents instead told me not to bother as they decided to keep the cats. Since then, I have maintained full responsibility for their care as was agreed upon, but I never referred to them as my cats. Recently an argument broke out because my father said “When you look for an apartment, make sure it’s one you can bring three cats to.” I corrected him and said I would only be bringing my one elderly cat with me, not the kittens. My parents were very upset at this idea and insisted that because I brought them home and was taking care of them, they were my cats. I reminded them of the agreement but they repeated that I had brought the kittens into the house. My parents have decided to still keep the cats after I doubled down that they would not be coming with me, but they are still very angry. AITA?

Graduate-Leaf

AITA for not agreeing to keep the cats?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fubb/aita_for_not_agreeing_to_keep_the_cats/

186fubb

My sister is being rude as hell, that none of the teenagers would compete. I remarked her bad behavior and tolerate her rude answers. After cleaning her room, I went out saying "How I hate my sister" and my mom know that i can say some bad stuff about my sister, responded to me like, you're so tedious and irritable. When I trying to respond to her and explain, she shouting at me like "SHUT UP". So yeah, I got bad mood for a whole day.

AvgustTonS

AITA for remarking my little sister for her bad behavior, being tedious and irritable?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fw4j/aita_for_remarking_my_little_sister_for_her_bad/

186fw4j

Little clarification, this is my aunt who raised me. So my adopted mom was speaking to my cousin who is my m.o.h and my best friend (also not her daughter) my adopted Mom ill call her (C) has been talking badly about Me, my fiance and my stb MIL since Thanksgiving this year 2023. She (C) said if my MIL ill call her (P) attends she will try and not make a scene. Now until now I didn't know C had a problem with P as they have never had a fight and C has always been nice and got along well with P. With that said my fiance feels very strongly as his mother is the only family he has aside from a brother. And they will be the only 2 attending for his side of the family. Now if C had come to me and asked not to be seated near them etc I would have been more than willing to do so. But C also doesn't get along with a single person on my side of the family (HER OWN FAMILY) Due to things she did to her one sister years ago(that caused me to go live with my father 12-18 years old. Now again. If she had come to me and voiced her issues I would have found a way to work them out but running to my cousin to bash me, my fiance and P. It also LARGELY has to do with the "I will try not to cause a scene. I am the one paying for my wedding every single penny. So AITA?

livindeadgrl91

AITA For uninviting my "adopted" mom to my wedding

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fywq/aita_for_uninviting_my_adopted_mom_to_my_wedding/

186fywq

Our whole relationship his mom has hated me. He even blocked her and that whole side of the family because she told him that i cant be around them if he sees them. He unblocked them and he apologized to her for some reason and theyve been talking since. Every single time he sees her or talks to her she says stuff to him like "she just trapped you" "she wouldnt hesitate to get you arrested if you argued and tried to leave her" "just know you arent trapped look deep down in your heart and think about what you truly want". I have a 4 month old son with him and I'm not allowing her to be around me or our son anymore because she wouldnt stop showing up to my house unannounced and she's just getting worse. Yesterday i told him "i just wish you would side with me instead of siding with your mom when she talks about me that way" then he spiraled out of control and started slamming stuff saying that i can't make him stop talking to his mom (which was never what i said), that she was right and i trapped him from the beginning and hes never actually loved or wanted to be with me, and i ended up talking the baby and leaving for a couple days. That night he messaged me saying how sorry he is and he knows now that he doesnt really feel that way about me and he wont let her alter his opinion anymore. He even offered to cut her out of his life entirely and then revoked the offer the next day. I agreed to go to couples therapy to try to make things work between us because i genuinely dont want to break up and have him never see his son. But he went to his moms house to stay the night (im still not home yet) and he really refuses to even tell her to stop talking about me. He said that shes always hated me and said those things and shes pissed that hes even staying with me but he wont let her change his mind again. I really just wish she was out of his life entirely but i wont ask him to do that because as toxic as she is i get it kind of its his mom. But at the same time he married me and had a kid with me.. should we not come first? So am i the asshole for being upset that he hasnt once stuck up for me and continues to just allow her to badmouth me and try to convince him to leave me?

No-Platypus6137

AITAH for asking my husband to tell his mom to stop talking badly about me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186fzhs/aitah_for_asking_my_husband_to_tell_his_mom_to/

186fzhs

I (18M) have been living with my mother and haven't had to money to live on my own yet. I'm in between jobs at the moment and have been trying my hardest to get another job. I have very little cash from my last job and my mom keeps asking me to give her cash for rent even though she's aware of my financial situation. I have two other siblings who both have partners and they don't need to pay a single cent. Would I be in the wrong?

-DuckOnQuack

WIBTA for not paying rent?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186g36f/wibta_for_not_paying_rent/

186g36f

AITA for letting my boyfriend come over and use the bathroom? For background context: I (F22) have had a difficult relationship with my mother (F50). She is an immigrant from Korea and lived in different countries since I was younger and therefore we have very different cultures and values. She has felt overbearing at times because she felt so protective of me because she is in a foreign country and I am an only child. Some of her rules include a 5 PM curfew, I am not allowed to have anyone over, and no going out during covid (even to public outdoor spaces unless I am accompanied by her or my father). I feel like she has set unrealistic expectations for me ever since I was younger. As a child, she planned out every hour of my day and monitored me and now she expects me to get a masters degree and earn a minimum of a 6 figure salary, she berates me for not being thin enough and compares me to a pig, and she makes comments about my skin when I break out due to stress. I eventually grew tired of trying to please her so I learned to just hide things from her whenever I wanted to do something. I am currently taking a gap year before my masters degree because I graduated from college a year earlier than my anticipated date. I have been living at home with my parents and I am planning to study for the fundamentals of engineering exam and a patent bar exam to further my career. There have been many layoffs in my field and even if I found a job, I would have to quit within 9 months in order to go back for my masters. I am currently dating my boyfriend (M22) for more than 2 years and his ethnicity is Indian. My parents, especially my dad, are racist towards his culture and refuse to meet him. My mom met him once when picking something up and she asked me if he is gay (he is not gay). ​ While my parents were at work, I invited my boyfriend to eat lunch and watch netflix together but my mom came home from work earlier than anticipated. We were already ready to go out and my boyfriend was just using the bathroom so I told her that he came in because he needed to use the bathroom. She was very angry and told me to get him out so I asked my boyfriend to leave and he quietly left. My mother was angry because she felt as if her house was messy and her clothes were around and she felt exposed. I don't understand if this is a cultural problem because when my mother was younger, she was allowed to invite anyone she wanted to her house and they regularly ate lunch together during their lunch breaks at school. As a child, she was allowed to stay over at other people's homes, stay out late, and she even went on trips overseas with her friends but I'm not allowed to. She claims it's because the world is a more dangerous place now but as I am starting to become more financially and mentally independent, I feel like she is exaggerating in order to retain control. AITA? TLDR: My mother got mad at my boyfriend for coming over and using the bathroom.

anonymous7982

AITA for letting my boyfriend come over and use the bathroom?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186g66f/aita_for_letting_my_boyfriend_come_over_and_use/

186g66f

My father(66m) and my brother (25 m) are currently renovating my house I (27m)just bought. They are doing two rooms and a bathroom. The reason I'm renovating is because my brother is moving in next January. He needs somewhere cheap so I offered him a room because he's my brother and I care about him. The only thing is I wanted to renovate those rooms but I couldn't because I work full time and get home exhausted. I need to work full time to pay for that house and for the materials cost of the renovation. So my brother and father offered to help. One is retired and the other start his new school session in January. Both of them are skilled in renovation. I'm really grateful for the help they are giving me as I couldn't finish in time. But I feel they are cutting corners at places I wouldn't. They are taking big decisions without consulting me and some time when they do consult me I come back to see they didn't do what we agreed on... They are disagreeing with most decision I take and some time ignore when I tell them to not do stuff. I feel like if I had the time I would like to do a better job, Do it the way I want and do it on my own. But I don't have the time. They are helping me tremendously but I hate it.

chibugamo

AITA for hating the free labor I'm getting?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186g6qu/aita_for_hating_the_free_labor_im_getting/

186g6qu

So to keep this short and sweet. i’m a 26 M currently in a 6 year relationship. Sometimes in this hard life i just want peace and silence. Not necessarily from family members or my significant other just from the world in general. Sometimes i need to isolate and what i will do or like to do is go on a drive or just post up at a nice view with maybe a couple drinks. Listen to music for a few hours. My girlfriend doesn’t necessarily get mad at me but she wonders when i do that it’s a problem of her. Or if she is doing something that is causing me to want to be alone and not only alone but to be away from home and be alone even farther. Sometimes i just need a break from it all. A break from work. a break from friendships and relationships to no fault of their own. I really enjoy the solace and the company of myself. Turning off my phone or putting on do not disturb and just listening to my favorite music while looking at the stars. I’ve repeatedly told her nothing she is doing is causing me to act this way. But the repeated questions is making me getting somewhat frustrated and then i get somewhat upset that she is almost making the situation about her. So in conclusion am i the asshole?

Legal-Ad-2207

AITA for wanting time alone?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186g92t/aita_for_wanting_time_alone/

186g92t

My husband has been extremely busy with work lately. He works from home so he can pretty much pick his own hours and he’s been working every hour god sends lately. He only slept like 4 hours last night, worked until 5pm, we did our weekly shop, I made us dinner and then we said he was going for a nap. This was at like 10pm, he wanted me to wake him up at 11 because he had more work to do. I woke him at 11.30 (I was on the phone with my sister and lost track of time) and he said he needed another half an hour and “I’ve set an alarm don’t worry about waking me”. It got to 12.30 (an hour later) and he still wasn’t up so I went in to wake him up. He snapped at me and said he told me not to wake him so I just left him. It’s now 3am and he still didn’t get up, but he probably won’t sleep through the night as he has stuff to prepare for a meeting in the morning. When this happens he usually gets up at 5am works for a couple hours, sleeps until his first meeting then has another nap at 4pm until dinner. This is a super unhealthy sleep pattern and it affects every aspect of his life but he won’t change it. I should also mention I’m kind of mad because we had planned to have sex for the first time in 4 weeks (he has been away) and it was supposed to be the start of trying for a baby and I wanted to make it special. I want to go to bed but I don’t want to wake him and have him mad at me again. I don’t know what to do. AITA for waking him up?

International_Mode94

AITA for waking my husband up from a nap

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186g9ep/aita_for_waking_my_husband_up_from_a_nap/

186g9ep

When my (34M) sister (38F) got married, she got most of the family albums from our mother’s house so she could choose some pictures of our childhood to be displayed in her wedding. I just realized she still had the albums in her possession because sadly our mother passed away a few months ago, and I couldn’t find our photos when my sister and I went over her belongings. So I suggested that my sister pays to digitize the photos so I could also have them, but she said the fair thing would be for us to split the costs. I said I would gladly split the costs if I kept half of the original photos, but I shouldn’t have to cover my share if my sister plans to keep all of the original pictures to herself. She says I’m being an AH to create trouble over something so minor. I know it’s not a life-changing sum, but it COULD amount to something, since we’re talking about hundreds, maybe thousands of pictures here - and in this situation, I feel it's the fair and considerate thing for her to do.

WinoMinotaur

AITA for insisting my sister pays to have our childhood photos digitized if she wants to keep the originals?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gjl2/aita_for_insisting_my_sister_pays_to_have_our/

186gjl2

My partner is sharing my pokerstars account playing when I'm not playing. Thing is, they lose a lot more often than I do and I'm really trying to build my bankroll. I've asked them to play on their own account gently many times but when it came down to it they took offense because eventually I had to say that they are losing the money more often and I'm really trying to build my own bankroll. I really want to see how well I can do and I think I can do ok but it's difficult when I spend 2 hours making money to sign back in and find the money gone again. Sometimes they will win, but not as often or consistently as me. So, am the asshole here?

Prudent_Row_1503

AITA I don't want to share a poker bankroll with my spouse?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gju6/aita_i_dont_want_to_share_a_poker_bankroll_with/

186gju6

Background: My mom was married twice. Her first spouse was her high school sweetheart, and her second was a military man she had only known for six months. Both guys were awful husbands in different ways. Once she divorced her second husband, she introduced us to all her boyfriends. We assumed her current partner (J) and herself would be together less than a year and we'd move on like normal when she introduced us. It was 6 months ago. Just days before we met him, Mom started dating him for his money. She only knew him for two months before going out with him. When he proposed a couple weeks ago and she accepted, I was surprised. I was upset by that news. Her second marriage was the last time she moved this fast and she screwed up with it. Mom, younger brother, and I had bad PTSD from him, and she tried to fix him by having my sister with him, which made him worse. Naturally, I didn't like her marrying again without knowing the guy. She brushed off my concerns as if I were joking. I'm fine with her dating, but marriage? It makes it harder to leave if the man turns out to be bad, and her and marriage simply do not mix. Especially when the guy who will be Husband #3 is a raging racist toward her two oldest kids and a reckless driver who causes accidents, drives far above the speed limit, and is happy with his own children being unbuckled in the backseat/trunk. After realizing that she isn't listening to me and excusing his behavior as "He's just playing" "He doesn't mean to be offensive" and best of all, "He just wants to get to the destination fast, there is nothing wrong with that" I left shortly after turning 18. She asked why I left so fast, and I told her I don't agree of her getting married and won't attend her wedding. She offered me a bridesmaid role to try to get me to come. I told her that I refuse to attend the wedding of a union I don't approve of. She got upset and said "I guess I'm just a bad mother". I said "Yes, you are" because what mother would let her possible husband act like that with and around her kids? Naturally, she was upset by that. A few days passed without us talked. When she reached out, she asked me to skip school so I could watch my sister while she had a girls' day with J's daughter. A part of me broke after that. Even though we had the means, she never did anything fun with my brother and me as kids. It made me realize how much she valued her new family over the one she already had. I gave her the choice to cancel the wedding and keep me or marry and lose me. I muted her and haven't spoken to her since. She hasn't made a choice but has asked me to babysit or clean her house. I haven't responded to any of those. My younger brother is telling me that our mom isn't following the custody agreement she and our dad have with him to console her, which makes me think I'm incorrect. I'm told to deal with her to keep the peace, but I don't want to. So I ask, Reddit, am I the asshole?

BeingPuzzleheaded722

AITA for giving my mom an ultimatum

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gjyb/aita_for_giving_my_mom_an_ultimatum/

186gjyb

I will say, I don’t really like this family in general. So I may have been looking for a reason to yell at one of them. They recently got a puppy, she’s around 7 months now. Sweet thing, a Dalmatian, she’s barky and jumpy but nice in general. She stays tied up most of the day in the garage as they don’t have a proper garden. My room has a direct view of their garage, and I hear a repeated banging noise. I look over and the son is whacking his shoes together in the dog’s face, make her flinch. This went on for about a minute before I decided to stick my head out the window and yell at him to stop. “Oi, stop doing that bro, you’re scaring her, it’s not funny.” He yelled back that it was just a joke and her tailing was wagging so she was enjoying it. The reason I feel I might be the asshole is because I don’t know what this dog enjoys, it’s not my son and it’s not my dog. Maybe she did find it fun? I don’t know. Am I sticking my nose in other people’s business??

juno223

AITA for telling off the neighbour’s son?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gpdy/aita_for_telling_off_the_neighbours_son/

186gpdy

Back a few years ago I was M17 at the time and me and my mom decided to move out of my dad's house, for just a little bit. We were staying at a friends house because my brother was also staying at a house my dad owns and was basically renting it to my brother (but he didn't pay my dad anything) and he got kicked out of that house by my dad. My brother then decided to try to get some money saved up so he could buy a house of his own so we could all live together (his wife and kid, my mom and I) because we still all weren't talking to my dad at the time. My brother reaches out the my aunt (dads sister) and asks to borrow some money to put a down payment on a house he was looking at. She gives him the money with the intention of paying her back in the coming months, in which he did. The money she had given him still wasn't enough for the down payment so he sells both of his trucks for some more on hand cash. Just a quick backstory he is 25 at the time and has been working since he was 16 with no money saved living rent free at my dad's other house he owns, so to me it makes no sense as to why he has no money saved. So me being in the position I am with my family I realized that we need to get this house so I offered my own money which was $5,000 that I would lend to him to put towards the down payment. (I got this money from doing 4-H, if you don't know what that is I basically raised animals and sold them at the county fair, it's a youth program) we then move in February and I still being 17 at the time am technically still living under my mom as a dependent of her, until I turn 18, a few months go by and I ask my brother when he thinks he can start paying me back and he tries to get into an argument with me telling me that the money that I gave him if I had to pay him rent for the few months we were living there that the money would be out the window because it would be rent paid to him so I didn't need to worry about getting my money back. Basically stating that he didn't owe me money because that was basically my rent for living there for 4 months (still as a minor) To add on to this my mom was giving him half the mortgage to help him so technically I am living under her as a dependent and that would be considered my "rent" so to speak. Almost a year and a half later and we eventually moved back into my dad's after a few months later and he still says to this day he doesn't owe me anything. AITA? Am I wrong for wanting my money back? Should I have known that I was giving it to him without hopes of getting it back?

Local-Season-4421

AITA for wanting my money back that my brother supposedly doesn't owe me anymore?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gqqp/aita_for_wanting_my_money_back_that_my_brother/

186gqqp

AITA for thinking of jokingly telling a stranger making comments about my kids “I just got them” or something of the same effect? I’m not out much but when I am, I run into a lot of opinionated people who have something to stay about my kid’s ages, cultural appearances and if they share the same dad. I’m always nice in response even when they are rude or try to touch their hair, just telling them not to touch my children and exiting the area. But now I’m not sure if my joke is a joke? I’m being told it’s a snarky and rude comment in response and to just be nice to everyone. I’m a doormat so I’m trying to get out of that. I personally thought of it as a joke. I understand kidnapping, but I just never realized how much humor has changed these past few years since having my first. TLDR I think telling someone asking about my children “I just got them” is funny, but I was told it’s rude and snarky. AITA for finding it funny?

National-Nobody-3930

AITA for a joke in response to strangers asking about my kids

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186gvvv/aita_for_a_joke_in_response_to_strangers_asking/

186gvvv

I (17F), am the fastest track runner at my high school. Indoor track season is coming up, and ofc i would like to run, so i can be more ready for outdoor track season. I went up to my head coach, and asked if i could get information on it. she said “no, you have to try out in january like everyone else since you quit ”(indoor track conditioning starts in december, and if you didn’t finish last years season, you can’t run indoor). which is an unfair rule considering she lets cross country runners run indoor season, even if they didn’t run last years outdoor season. I did not want to argue with her because she is known for always having petty arguments. She admitted to being petty and a bitch ON PURPOSE. So, i went down to our athletic director to ask if there was any way i could still run indoor track with my team. He said he had to talk to our head coach about it. I have her as a teacher, and she pulled me out of class to talk to me privately. She went on to tell me that i was in the wrong for going behind her back, and talking to her boss instead of her. I tried to explain to her why(and other times throughout the conversation), but she kept interrupting me. She said i did not finish last season, so i can’t run indoor season. Some of you are probably wondering, i did not finish last season, but that wasn’t really my fault. The head coach kicked me off the team to prove a point to the rest of the team. For context, i missed one day of practice to play for my other sport, and i let her know via the Remind app. She got mad and told me to turn in my jersey the next day. tbh, i didn’t really care because i had already started hating last track season because she is rude and nasty. I talked to my other coach about it, and she agrees that the head coach is in the wrong. Another coach pulled me aside telling me that if it was him, he would’ve got upset that i went to administration before talking to him. He proceeded to tell me that it would be the right thing to apologize to the head coach. I don’t think i’m in the wrong, so AITA for not apologizing? btw, during my outside the classroom conversation with the head coach, she said i was perceiving everything that happened wrong even though i have proof of giving her a heads up for missing a day of practice. I missed a week prior due to mental health, which i let her and my other coach know. My other coach had/has 0 issues considering her and other runners agree, and feel the same way about the head coach being unfair. and later let me know that the head coach went down to the athletic director lying about what ACTUALLY happened when i “quit” last season.

Any_Effective6293

AITA for not apologizing after going to administration about my coach

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186h0pa/aita_for_not_apologizing_after_going_to/

186h0pa

Ok so let me just clear things up. Firstly I understand my problem isn’t as serious as what some people have going on but I seriously want to know if what I’m asking is so wrong this post is longer then needed however I felt every detail is important. So I 19M live with my mom and I normally pick her up and drop her off at work because I normally need to do things throughout time that she works. The vehicle is in her name but i put more money then her into it in gas parts and labour to fix things because she doesn’t make a lot of money. I don’t smoke and I am into health and fitness while my mom is a heavy tobacco user and the smell really bugs me. Growing up she never smoked in the car with her kids and was against parents that did it but as we got older she started to and that was fine as long as she rolled down the window to let the smoke out. Well now because we live pretty far north our windows freeze and our temperatures get really cold. But she only lives a 3.5 minutes drive from work she won’t smoke with her coworker in the car who we drive home every night and he is about halfway between her work and our home but the second he gets out(we are about 100 seconds away from home) she instantly lights up a cigarette and because our windows don’t roll down it hotboxes the car. I have asked her to wait until we get home and she will snap saying “this is my car” or “I don’t need to be bitched at by my kid” or even “I’ll just take the car to work so I don’t gotta deal with your bitching” and for context we have a space that is warm and attached to our home where she can smoke inside. Also she normally finishes work before i pick her up and has a smoke about 15 minutes before getting in the car. So is me asking her to hold off smoking less then 2 minutes something that make me a asshole?

shqbsjei

AITA for asking my mom not to smoke in the car with me

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186h2jd/aita_for_asking_my_mom_not_to_smoke_in_the_car/

186h2jd

I went to a play at our local theater. When the show was over my family was chatting in one of the aisles. The house had mostly cleared out and an usher appeared a few rows behind us. Instead of asking if we could clear the house, or speaking at all, he just stood a few feet away and swung his badge around on his lanyard. I said something to my family like “oh, I guess we should leave.” As we walked to the lobby, he followed about six feet behind us, just swinging his badge and staring at us. I said, “ I think we have been thoroughly ushed” and laughed it off. When we got to the lobby doors, he then reached right by my head to close the doors on us. I looked at my wife and said “I guess we still weren’t far enough out!” The usher finally spoke and said “thank you” as he closed the doors. My wife then got on me and said it was “enough” and I was being rude. Were I the usher, I would have politely let the lingering family know that we needed to close up the house. I wouldn’t just try to be physically imposing and hope they get the picture. AITA?

Ornery-File2275

AITA for not wanting to be herded like cattle?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186h4b2/aita_for_not_wanting_to_be_herded_like_cattle/

186h4b2

I (17M) was with my friends one day to talk to our track coach in his classroom about track related stuff. While my friend (17F) was talking with the coach, I overhear someone, who we are gonna call Felicia, say something about a situation that happened a month ago. For context, my friends and I were taking a group picture at a pep rally when a random girl walks through the photo. Mind you, we was not pressed about the girl walking through the photo, but Felicia, who is the random girls friend, preceded to call us bitches as she walked away. We was mad ofc because it was out of line because we did not know her and we didn’t even say anything about her friend for her to be mad. So one of us had said something back as a rebuttal. Afterwards, one of the friends with them apologized for everything seeing that it was a misunderstanding and she said they were being dramatic. So then we moved on. Back to the classroom, Felicia brings up the situation to her friend that walked through the photo who we gonna call Poppy. Felicia is saying that she is fired up or something of the sort saying she wants to confront my friend about it. My friend is busy talking to the coach, so she didn’t hear a thing. I then proceeded to tell my friend what the girl said and when my friend asked who, because she didn’t even know the girl, I pointed at her. Then Felicia basically got upset that I said anything and then brought up the situation. My friend then responded because she didn’t like Felicia’s tone,saying that they aren’t gonna do anything about it so it didn’t really matter. Felicia and Poppy hop up like they gonna do something, but the coach/teacher pushes us out the room and blocks those girls in the class. No fight happened cause the girls were just showing out. AITA for telling my friend?

kingRBxx

AITA for letting my friend know somebody was talking about her in the same room?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186h7j4/aita_for_letting_my_friend_know_somebody_was/

186h7j4

So a little context, I 15(f) am a sophomore in high school. I am a student athlete and am on academic honor roll. I used to play volleyball at my school until recently. After the incident I will explain, I joined my golf team for some fresh air. As stated I used to be in my school’s volleyball team. Key word here is used. My former coach cut me this past year. She sent me text message right before the members were posted. The text message read as follows: We had to make some really hard decisions today and quite honestly we did not put you on the team this year. To say this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done is an understatement! This decision was not taken lightly and I’m seriously heartbroken 💔. Please know I love you and will still be one of your biggest cheerleaders as we move forward. I can’t thank you enough for the hard work and dedication you’ve had to our program this past year. Please don’t be a stranger and still visit me. Now the whole using me part is what makes me really angry. She asked me specifically several times to help out with nets, new players, tryouts, and camps. Nobody on my old team wanted to do anything of that sort. She straight up used me for her own use for an entire summer. 3 months for no school but I wanted to be there and help out. That last part of the message “please don’t be a stranger” is something that she has personally done to me. She is a teacher at my school and you guessed it, my teacher. The first 3 weeks of school she just completely ignored me. It wasn’t until the 4th week where she started to acknowledge me. That was only because she noticed I was one of the only kids to receive 90’s or above on her tests. So she started to acknowledge me and I couldn’t help myself any longer. So I talked to her privately about her decision. She told me that due to budget cuts and gym space she had to cut most of the sophomores. To any person out there this for 1 doesn’t make any sense for 3 reasons. 1. She has more people on the team than she did last year 2. We have priority gym space because we are in season 3. You don’t cut most of 1 class because of your budget So my BS alarm went way up. She did ask me to forgive her at that very moment. I told her I need time to process this decision and can’t tell her how I feel currently. Now I am getting the cold shoulder from my former teammates and friends who I still talk to in my team. I really need an outside perspective here because I don’t know how I should move forward.

ForsakenPassenger147

WIBTA if I don’t forgive my former coach who lied and used me for an entire summer?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186h8ry/wibta_if_i_dont_forgive_my_former_coach_who_lied/

186h8ry

This morning my friend and I were talking about relationships and she said that she really wanted a bf, but he would probably only last her for the winter. When I asked what she meant, she said ‘most guys only want a short fling’. When I asked her to specify, she said (and I quote) ‘the amount of times guys have been fucking assholes and hurt girls is a much bigger vote over girls hurting guys’. I replied that for the most part what I had seen has been reverse, so it didn’t feel right to assume either way due to our likely gender biased social medias and friend groups, but I’d say the odds are likely around 50/50; and when she fought me on that, I told her that she needed to stop looking at the scenario from such a small minded view. She responded by getting extremely upset and ignoring me. ATP it felt like such a smh moment but now I’m questioning whether or not I should have said what I did. AITA?

SomePerception4594

AITA for telling my friend she’s wrong for assuming girls are hurt more than guys?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hi5a/aita_for_telling_my_friend_shes_wrong_for/

186hi5a

For context, I'm 19 years old and studying at a Local polytechnic in Singapore. After which, I have to serve a mandatory 2 years of National service before heading to university. With graduation coming soon, I have to start thinking about applying to university to secure a spot after NS. Since I was a teenager maybe 12 years old, I would dream about studying overseas. When I asked my dad about whether I would be able to study overseas, he would always say yes. Mind you my dad is a person who always jokes around. Knowing that the fees would be extremely expensive I was very sceptical, I was always frustrated with his answers because I never knew if he was joking or not. He has never sat down with me to have a conversation from parent to Son and it was honestly stressful and frustrating not knowing my options. Just recently, since the application dates are coming up, I've been bringing up the topic more with both my parents, and he finally told me the truth that he has only saved up enough to fund me for a local university. Firstly, let me be clear, I know it is extremely expensive to study overseas and that I'm extremely privileged/ spoiled if I were to be frustrated over something that could cost my parents such a huge amount of money. But to be frank, I am frustrated. I am frustrated that he couldn't have just been honest with me from the start, instead of getting my hopes and dreams up over these past 7 years that I would be able to study overseas. Heck if he told me from the start I would understand so much more even at the age of 12 and wouldn't even be writing this post! So, please let me know AITA for being frustrated with my Father's response.

robertboberto

AITA for being frustrated with my Father telling me he has only saved up enough to put me in a local uni after constantly joking over the years that he could fund an overseas uni?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hk8s/aita_for_being_frustrated_with_my_father_telling/

186hk8s

So I 30m have moved and been living in the south for 6 years now. In the 6 years I've gone home 4 or 5 times to see my family and friends (14 hour drive). Never once has any of my family or friends come down to visit me even for a weekend. Everything I talk to them about almost anything the thing of me coming to visit comes up. I always say "well you can come visit me" and almost always it's the same response of well its alot of work to do that. So me and my partner 33f have been talking about if we get married where are we doing it? I said down here where she said some where in the middle. I told her the whole 6 years and no one has come to see me so it's time for them to come see me get married. We talked about 3 days ago about this but.i still feel kinda bad for saying. So AITA

subzach

AITA for wanting my family to come see me.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hoto/aita_for_wanting_my_family_to_come_see_me/

186hoto

For some background: I (NB22) am the only "female presenting" (not wholly out yet) person in my Engineering Statics class this quarter. We have been assigned 2 projects to complete. The first one while a little rough was able to get together at the last minute. Before our second project two members decided to leave the group and join another, so I and the remaing member had to find a new partner. Now the remaining person also had some issues concerning participation in the first project but we were able to over come it. Now onto this project, it was a classic, designing and constructing a bridge out of balsa wood that can hold 98N. Other elements included budgeting to afford materials provided by the teacher, creating a poster explaining why you chose the design, and a failure report when it breaks. Now my main gripes with my group members: First of all getting meeting times from my two group members was like pulling teeth. The one meeting I was able to set up I was unable to attend due to working 93 hours in the past two weeks, so I was exhausted. Having said this I was the only one to have a complete design by the last day to purchase wood. Making this design included research, doing analysis on each individual joint, comparing the stress on each beam to what each wood thickness could hold, analyzing factor of saftey for each beam, and creating a supply list from that analysis that fit within budget. I did all of this and was fine with it. The only thing I asked was before we purchased materials that my group mates look ot over to see of it looked good. I either got no response or a plain "looks good" with no other comments. So we purchased our materials. I was there for the first day of construction, but couldn't be there for the other two because of work, but I answered my groupmates questions about the design when they came up and tried to help as much as possible. The other element was the poster which I basically had to walk them through step by step over discord because copy and pasting images is so hard I guess. Now on the eve of the bridge being due they have noticed a flaw in my design that to rectify requires putting the load in another location. This would totally change the internal stresses and my cause our bridge to fail prematurely. We have already turned in the poster with the original design and have constructed the bridge. This could have been avoided if they actually looked at my proposed design. I am thinking about pulling my professor to the side tomorrow when we present and explain what has happened and how i did basically all the work. To summarize, I did the majority of the work on a bridge building project but a flaw has been discovered last minute. The flaw could have been seen earlier if my teammates actually looked at my design. I may be the asshole for telling my professor this and because it is my design that is flawed. Edit: Thanks guys for pointing out that talking to the professor probably isn't the best way to go. I think I was just really frustrated because all of us were supposed to create a design but only I did. Also some extra info, the reason why I missed most of the construction was because I have work, I'm a community college student who works 40 hrs a week and am doing 15 credits as well.

bipanic8o8

WIBTA if I told my professor I did 80% of the work in a group project

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hpad/wibta_if_i_told_my_professor_i_did_80_of_the_work/

186hpad

My (34M) sister (28F) is one of the owners of a local ballet school where she’s also a teacher. My daughter (5F) was interested in trying ballet, mostly from seeing her aunt dance and talking about how she MUST take ballet. However, I chose to take my daughter to get a trial class in another school. A brief context: my mother is a piano teacher and she decided to teach my sister and I when we were kids, and it was a terrible experience (to me at least) because it was clear that she couldn’t separate her role as a mother and as a teacher, and she’d be hard on me in a way that she wasn’t to her other students. That’s not to say I think my sister wouldn’t be able to keep things professional, it’s just that I thought it was important to create a distance in this context. I didn’t think to let my sister “know” beforehand about this, after all it was just a trial class, and my daughter could not even be interested in continuing afterwards. Yet my sister found out that I took my daughter to her competitor (it’s not that big of a town and there are basically two schools around, so news fly fast). My sister called me to clear things up, and I could tell she was very hurt. I tried to explain my reasoning, and she said the right thing would be to call her so she wouldn’t need to find out from somebody else. She also says it creates an image that her own family doesn’t trust in her abilities as a teacher, which I think was nonsense. AITA here?

RoyallyRestless

AITA for going to my sister’s competitor when my daughter wanted to take ballet classes?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hq52/aita_for_going_to_my_sisters_competitor_when_my/

186hq52

So, I (m18) was at the dinner table with my mom (f50) and my dad (m53). We were discussing an upcoming vacation which i had previously expressed distaste for, but agreed to not complain about because i understood how meaningful it was to them. At this time, they asked me why I didn’t want to go, and I replied that I felt i had missed out on the “proper” family holidays we had in the past that my older sisters had gotten to enjoy. I told them that I don’t like our family vacations because all i can remember from past vacations is arguments and the bad parts of any place we visited. My family has a tendency towards dysfunction, and to a younger me, the vacations have just been a source of stress and panic as things go off the rails. They then asked what I thought a good holiday looked like, and I told them that I wanted relaxation away from the stress of school, to snuggle up, hang out with my friends and play video games while rain poured outside. For context here, this was a very romanticized image, and i feel that i had made that clear to them. I’m an AP student ,an aspiring engineer, I have a steady job, and obviously that’s not how I would spend my whole holiday. I feel like if they assume that’s all of who i am, then they know me even worse than I thought. Anyways, immediately after this, my mom says “I just wonder. I wonder if when you are a father you are going to try to put in the effort to make your family have a fun, exciting holiday, or if you are going to hide away and play your little videogames” I was taken aback by this, and I honestly got very angry at her over the insinuation that i’m so irresponsible or ignorant of the people around me that even as an adult i might do that all of the time, to the point of being an absent father. She then tried to claim that “wasn’t what she meant” and tried to turn it around at me, saying “well obviously by your reaction that isn’t what you would do”. For this, I called her a gaslighter. She refused to take back anything she said, and used my father to claim that I was the one who got the meaning wrong, not that she said anything wrong. THEN, she says she would never say anything on purpose to make me mad, which i know is a lie because a: she just did, and b: this is a known tactic of hers, as if i get flustered or passionate about something, it “justifies” her in punishing me via grounding, or video game restriction, or whatever else. If you are wondering where my dad is, he is sitting at the table with his head in his hands, only chiming in to say “yeah” when my mom asks him a question that I should be answering, or making futile attempts at moderation that are clearly just traps to support my mom. Am I missing something here? Am I truly wrong in my thought process? AITA? TL;DR: my mom claimed that because i wanted to stay home over winter break instead of being dragged on an insane family vacation, I would be an absent father in the future. then, she denied trying to make me angry.

Snoo53833

AITA for accusing my mom of gaslighting?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hqs7/aita_for_accusing_my_mom_of_gaslighting/

186hqs7

Okay so I’ve been a tech contractor who is living next door to a client site I’ve been working at for six months. As needs permit I have filled many roles beyond my scope. Christmas party is this Friday. I have been working here non stop for six months and what separates me from staff is that I am a contractor. I am honestly gutted by the fact you can’t live away from home and be living next door and because you’re a contractor you’re not invited. I regularly log 12 hour days but bill for 8. Am I entitled or AITA

thechicknorris

AITA for think I should be invited to the office Christmas party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hs63/aita_for_think_i_should_be_invited_to_the_office/

186hs63

So I went out with my girl friends to the club we were having a great time. I had liquor in my system and kept texting my recent ex boyfriend about how much I miss him, but I did not expect him to show up. He texted come out otherwise he will never speak to me again. I was afraid that he would leave me forever so I told my friends that I have to go to the bathroom and left the club to go speak to him. He said I’ll take you home so I don’t have to take the train with my friends. I knew ditching my friends was a bad idea but I wanted to just be with him so bad. I thought it would be no issue until my friends text me worried about where I am and that they’re ready to leave. I texted my friend I’m on the way home and they called me lame and that they’d never ditch me like that. I got stressed and persuaded my ex to take them with us. When I called my friends they were just so angry saying they’d never do that to me and that I’m lame. I told them on the phone “I’m still in the city I didn’t leave where are you let me come get you” they just hung up on me. I feel so bad and such a terrible friend for leaving them and I feel like they will never trust to go out with me again. I had to lie to my friend in the morning to fix my reputation, cause the truth would be too bad to hear. My point of view was that it is better to lie than to tell the truth and hurt their feelings and think bad of me. I texted her this word for word: “Hey love, I think there was some miscommunication last night. I had ordered a Uber already to Hicksville but I wasn’t in it yet. I should’ve clarified that & since we got separated it wasn’t communicated clearly through text. I should’ve clarified that it was for all of us if u guys wanted to go that’s why I called you when it came so I could get u guys wherever u were. I get ur perspective tho That’s why on the phone I was telling u I’m still in the city cause I didn’t leave There wasn’t clarity tho so I get it” Her reply: Ohhhh 😭😭😭 we thought you left without telling us and we kept looking for you My reply: “No I wouldn’t just leave like that 😭😭 I couldn’t find u guys either but when you texted you guys r ready to leave I just ordered it and meant to text u I ordered a Uber already to Hicksville not that I’m in one 😭😭😭” “I was confused on the phone cause I didn’t realize you guys probably thought I just left “ “I was like I’m in the city where r u guys let me come get u “ “But you guys hung up on me 😭😭😭” Her reply: “Omggggggggggg yes we did Bc we were looking for you inside then we couldn’t find you so we went outside to tell u to come And then you called and u we’re like I’m in a Uber and we were like be uhhhhh 😭😭 should’ve texted us “ She seems like she believed it and just said they thought I left and were worried.. I just said I would never do that and that it was a misunderstanding even tho I texted on that night that “I’m on the way home..” after us discussing the night in the morning she never texted me again. I feel so bad and I regret cutting my night short when I could’ve moved on and had fun with my friends. This is the first time I’ve ever done this and I would never do it again.. I regret it so much. I was intoxicated and did not think straight. AITA?

Parxkaur

AITA for ditching my friends at the club and going home

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ht9a/aita_for_ditching_my_friends_at_the_club_and/

186ht9a

Basically this all started because today is my(M) 17th birthday. I don’t expect a lot on my birthdays, im always just happy with going out to dinner with my fam. We usually go to place like The Cheese Cake Factory or Outback for my birthdays, however my older sister just had a baby and this is my family’s first holidays with a grandchild, so I told my parents to save the money that it cost to take everyone out for my birthday so that they aren’t strapped for cash for Christmas. I was fine not celebrating my birthday, but then my brother(26) told me that his wife wanted to make dinner for me at their home and invite everyone for my birthday anyways. I was immediately excited because I’ve had my SIL cooking before, and it’s delicious, she’s an amazing cook. I knew wanted my SIL to cook as soon as my brother extended the offer. A couple of months ago, I was at my brothers house and my SIL made Collard greens, baked Mac and cheese, cornbread and stuffed chicken for another celebration and it was the best meal I ever had. Prior to that I had never had any soul food, and I was automatically a fan once I tried. So I asked my brother if he could ask my SIL to make that meal for my birthday and she agreed. Fast forward to tonight, my parents, siblings, SIL, and my best friend are all having dinner and my brother and SIL house and as we are finishing up and my brother is bringing out the cake, I thank my SIL and said “that was the best meal I’ve ever had, thank you so much.” The night finishes up and I’m back in the car with my parents and on the ride to drop my friend off at home, my mom is quiet the whole ride and I can tell she’s upset by something. As soon as we get home, my mom goes into a rant about me saying that my SIL cooking was the best cooking that I’ve had and that I didn’t appreciate everything that her and my dad have done or her cooking. I tried to explain that was true but things blew up so badly that I just went to my room. My dad wants me to be the one to apologize but I don’t think I did anything wrong. Should I apologize? AITA?

No-Advantage-6453

AITA for saying that my Sister in law’s cooking is the best I’ve ever had?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186hwta/aita_for_saying_that_my_sister_in_laws_cooking_is/

186hwta

For context I 28(f) and my husband 30(m) have 2 kids ages 5 and 3. Which my sil would watch between the times of me going to work and husband getting home, which was usually 1/2 hour to 2h max, and maybe 1-2 days a week (I feel bad having people watch my kids so I always split it up between her and my grandparents) I also work 3 days a week max so it was usually 1 day she watched them for that amount of time. (I work at 5 my husband is home by 6 most nights sometimes closer to 7). At the time of her watching our kids she was a stahm. My husband and her had an argument a couple months back, and since she decided tho she loves me and our kids she won’t be helping me with babysitting and had texted him that he’s “lucky to have free daycare” fast forward after 4 years of being a stahm she’s went back to work, and now has been asking me to watch her kids for 4-8 hours a day multiple times a week and just expects that I’m willing to do it. Her kiddos are 1 and 3. I love her kids, but I’m overwhelmed myself with my 2 littles and school and all their extracurricular and also going to work myself. Would I be the asshole to tell her no I’m not willing to watch them all the time? My main issue besides being an overwhelmed mamma is that she had told her brother (my husband) he gets free day care when she watched my kids MAYBE 2 hours a week. But now I’m asked to watch hers close to 30 hours a week, and disrupt my kids schedules and be late to work when she’s late picking them up. (Also brought this up to my husband yesterday and said if she wants it to be like a daycare as she’s said it was then I will charge her as such, I’ve never been one to charge family to watch my extended kiddos but since she made it about that it irks me)

Emotional_Thought544

AITA for not wanting to watch my sils kids?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186i7wx/aita_for_not_wanting_to_watch_my_sils_kids/

186i7wx

I'm a new mom. I love it. Our baby is 9 months and my SO was born to be a dad. Nothing brings us more joy. Lately we've tried to set up boundaries with my SO's parents. "Don't wear perfume", "please speak our common language in adult conversations", "dont kiss the baby on the face". The common language one is recent. I think my MIL stopped speaking our common language when I started finding my voice as a mother. She liked to show how I'm an outsider. Fast forward to this week. I've just had it. MIL especially always pushing me for a reaction. It's so obvious. Maybe I'm petty but she started calling the baby "my baby". My husband asked her not to and she just won't stop. I want to cancel Xmas with them. My FIL makes open comments about my weight and MIL doesn't respect boundaries. They do REALLY love my daughter though. AITA for canceling Xmas with my inlaws to have a quiet and enjoyable first Xmas with my SO and baby?

Plenty-Passenger4900

AITA for canceling Xmas with my in laws?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ib14/aita_for_canceling_xmas_with_my_in_laws/

186ib14

So about a month ago my (17M) mother (54F) went in for a knee operation that would replace the entire kneecap and such with metal so she wouldn't have pain anymore - the same pain she's been using as an excuse to scream at me and throw temper tantrums when she feels like - however she kept saying she needs this surgery but when it came time for it to be a reality she'd last minute cancel or back out entirely until the day when she finally did it. Long story short the operation went by very well and all was looking good until it came to my mother's mobility issues. She's not a really small woman so there's a lot of pressure on her new knee already as well as the other leg and she constantly now cries about not being able to do things she thought she would straight after surgery - like being able to think immediately after she could drive and walk around perfectly. As of late she's become even more upset and mad and I constantly overhear her talking to the people she knows about how her agency is gone and it's sucking the life out of her and how she has no control over anything anymore and all that. Just yesterday, only a month after the operation, she pushed herself to driving a nearly 8,5km trip to get us food. After getting to the place she then made me stand outside the store so she could take a photo and then sent it to my father to gloat about how she could drive and he was wrong. And now this morning after that she is screaming and crying about how painful her leg is and making it my problem while also screaming at me because I don't want to rub her knee for her or to help her shower. This is been an ongoing thing over the past month and she keeps complaining about how no one cares about her and wants to help her when she pushes away anyone that would want to. She has also constantly been calling me a failure of a son and that I'm a good for nothing because I don't want to help my mother when that's my sole purpose in life, and my father agrees with all this. AITA?

OsirisTheOzzie

AITA for not wanting to help my mother with her recovery

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ih9d/aita_for_not_wanting_to_help_my_mother_with_her/

186ih9d

I am the "baby" of the family, and because of that I had more alone time with our parents, I was still in middle school by the time all of them were in college / living their lives, we have a 15 year age gap between the oldest and myself. Earlier this week my parents wanted to talk to me about inheritance and stuff while I was putting up Christmas decorations. They were conflicted because their accountant said they should think about their legacy and children. I told them "F--k that" I said they should make it their goal to spend as much of that money they can together while they can still do things. I told them go have fun, do not worry about the future live solely in the moment they have earned it. I told them not to worry about healthcare costs or anything like that, if it comes down to it I will take care of that cost. I am single, do not plan to have children and do very well for myself. When they told me one of my siblings came to them for a down payment help for a house and asked me if they should help. I was honest and said no, because I know my siblings god forbid our parents needed help I know how they are they will not raise a single finger because their own lives/families are far more important. Which I 100% respect, but like I told my dad if they have that mindset regarding giving help, they should have the same mindset regarding receiving help. They will need to figure it out. Later that evening I got a call from my sibling asking if I told our parents they should not help them, I was honest and said they asked for my opinion and I gave it. My sibling told me I was being a "royal fucktard" and in passing said that no matter how much I suck up to them they will still get some inheritance. I just said are you sure about that? Cause, we also spoke about that, and I suggested don't worry about us and just live their lives and focus on living in the moment, and told them they should have a goal to burn through their money while they still can. My sibling told me I was manipulating them, when I asked how he simply stated that I am encouraging our parents to be irresponsible. He asked about if they get sick, I simply told him the same thing I told our parents. I will cover all of their costs if need be no questions asked. My sibling was pissed, called my other siblings and tried to have a meeting with our parents regarding their plan. My mom called me, and I came over. I told my siblings build their own wealth, stop trying to take shortcuts. Let our parents live, and be happy that they can enjoy their money together. Many do not get that option. They brought up things like grandchildren college funds, trying to pull on emotional heart strings of our parents. I jumped in and said as parents that is your responsibility, not our parents. They left in a huff and puff and one my siblings told our mom she better remember this cause what they are doing is wrong. Which got me thinking, am I in the wrong?

Remarkable_Half20746

AITA for convincing my parents to not worry about leaving an inheritance and simply focus on enjoying their twilight years?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ihgp/aita_for_convincing_my_parents_to_not_worry_about/

186ihgp

A friend and I were staying in a condo for a month while on vacation. Since we were there for such a long time, we got groceries so that we wouldn't have to eat out every meal. We ended up buying our own stuff for the most part. I bought stuff that I like, and he bought stuff that he liked. Fast forward to the day that we are leaving. We had decided the night before that we should leave for the airport at noon. I wake up at around 10 and pack all of my stuff up and clean the room that I was staying in. It is now 10:30ish, I go to my friend's room, and he is still sleeping. I wake him and ask if he wants to help me clean the rest of the condo. He says, "sure." I begin cleaning without him. It is now 11 and I have practically cleaned everything. My friend still has not woken up. The only thing left is the fridge. In the fridge there is a mostly empty container of blueberries, a full container of blueberries, a single kiwi, and a half eaten burrito. All of these things belonged to my friend. I figured that he doesn't realistically have time to eat any of this, nor can he bring it on the plane. So, I throw it away. It is now 11:15, my friend comes out of his room and walks over to the fridge. He looks inside and asks where his food is. I said that I had thrown it away. He then got really mad at me and said that I "should not have touched his shit," that he had woken up early specifically to eat the food that was left, and that I should have asked him if it was ok to throw away. I told him that there wasn't time to eat since we leave in 45 min and he still has not packed, showered, or cleaned his room. He was also asleep and I didn't think it was a big enough deal to wake him up over. He says that none of that matters because you should still never throw away other people's stuff. I believe that context matters, while he believes that only the principle matters. AITA?

blaa678

AITA for throwing out my friend's food while I was cleaning out the fridge

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186il35/aita_for_throwing_out_my_friends_food_while_i_was/

186il35

Hello, my relationship with my girlfriend of 4 months ended a few weeks back, mainly due to quite a few disagreements that we couldn't agree on, so decided it was best to end it. There was one particular argument we would go back and forth on which I'm struggling to come to grips with and I wanted some second opinions. I feel my feelings in this situation were warranted, I'm very open to constructive criticism and would like some advice if I was in the wrong: So it was a Wednesday night where I had two very bad sleeps the two nights prior, so I was quite tired on the Wednesday. We hung out together on the Tuesday night and she slept over mine, and then we spent Wednesday morning together before she went home. I was laying in bed Wednesday night and we were just chit chat texting, when she asked if I could come over. As much as I would have liked to, I told her I'm about to go to sleep as I was really tired since I didn't sleep well the past 2 days (I also had work the next day). She got upset that I didn't come over and in her mind she thought i didn't want to see her, which wasn't the case at all, which I explained to her, and then I told her I was just exhausted from the lack of sleep and needed a good sleep before work the next day. I then got a bit upset as I felt she was questioning how much I liked her and my commitment to seeing her, while I felt she wasn't taking in account my feelings and being tired. Her argument was that I'm a guy and I just need 4 clothing items, all I had to do was pack it in my bag and drive to hers, and that if I liked her that much it wouldn't be a problem. Was I in the wrong here? From her perspective, she felt that I wasn't showing her how much I liked and wanted her. I'm someone who is very open with understanding other peoples emotions and feelings, but I felt in this situation my feelings were not being accounted for. We have argued about this quite a few times, and when I broke up with her and I brought it up again, she said "what do you want me to just say, okay have a good sleep?!?!" EDIT: What made this even more confusing for me was a contradicting situation that occurred probably 3 weeks after this. One night I visited her late at night around 10:30pm and surprised her with flowers, then we were just hanging out in her room when I said I could sleep over tonight and then go to my grandpas house when I wake up in the morning (had arranged to go visit him and mow their grass), but to this she said no because she wants to get a good sleep herself before a birthday party she had in the morning and wanted time to get ready etc. I understood her, and left her house shortly after so she can sleep.

Aussiethrowaway_RB4

AITA for not going over to my girlfriend's house?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ilfv/aita_for_not_going_over_to_my_girlfriends_house/

186ilfv

i (m16) suffer from anorexia since a very young age. in result, i am very skinny, I just don’t feel like I am my girlfriend (f18) hates this. ive tried to explain multiple times to her why I think I’m fat, and why this feeling doesn’t affect anyone but me (as in, i wouldnt think someone else in my shape is fat), but she dismisses it. she has some body issues as well, and everytime I try to help her with it she calls me a hypocrite or doesn’t listen to me at all I try to eat, at least, a little bit more for her (she asked me to). I’ve stopped recurring to vomiting when I finished a meal, I got professional help, and I try to be body positive about myself, but sometimes it is unbearable. I wanna be healthy and normal for her, but I can’t internalize my feelings all the time yesterday, I was telling her that my day went bad because I felt quite fat at school, being careful with my words so I wouldn’t trigger a bad reaction, and she got mad at me immediately and she’s ignoring me now, and i don’t know what else to do but cry, which I’ve been doing for the past hours. my friend has told me it wasn’t my fault, but I’m still wondering if it is so, AITA?

LOLIRA12

AITA for telling my girlfriend about my ED?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186iluq/aita_for_telling_my_girlfriend_about_my_ed/

186iluq

So I (40f) and husband (53m) make 75% of the dinner for Thanksgiving and bring it to my SIL's house every year (this is all his side of the family). I work in health care and have to work on holidays occasionally, this was my holiday to work 3pm to 11pm. We set that dinner was going to be at 2pm so I had time to eat quick and then run to work. Well of course no one was there on time (we even got there early)so they did not start dinner until after I was already in work. I asked my husband if he would bring me up a plate of dinner afterwards, he said yes. He ended up bringing up to me about a tablespoons worth of 3 different things and said this was all that was left. I then asked him if anyone got leftovers to take home and he said oh yeah every family got 2 takeout containers to go home with and this was what was leftover after that. All of the people at the dinner knew that I 1. Did not eat anything. And 2. Knew that I went into work. But never thought that it was a good idea to make sure that the 1 person who made most of the dinner was fed. AITA for getting into an argument with my husband for not making sure there was something for me to eat? And AITA for getting pissed at his family for not thinking of me?

GiannaMarieRoberts

AITA for getting upset about Thanksgiving dinner.

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ipfo/aita_for_getting_upset_about_thanksgiving_dinner/

186ipfo

My(19m) sister(27) asked if I could look after her cat while she's on holiday with her friends. Our parents were also out of town on a business trip, so I called them to check. They said it's fine to keep the cat at our place. My sister then brought the cat over on the day she was leaving for her holiday. The issue is my sister packed the food, litter and litter box but forgot to bring his toys. Her house is two hours away and I only started driving recently. No chance of getting there by myself and she had to leave since her friends were waiting, so she told me 'Just get him some new toys.' The trip was for six days so I bought four toys and rotated around on the last two days. Cutest one is a wand toy with a small Santa Claus hanging off the end of it. Total bill was $20. When my sister returned to pick him up, I handed her all of her cat's stuff, including the new toys I placed in a paper bag. Then I said 'Look, I'm kinda short on money right now so could you cover half the cost? Just $10.' She gave me a look and said 'I'm your sister. I'm family.' Then she went home. Our parents came home the next day. I didn't tell them anything though. Am I wrong for asking?

Pahne22

AITA for asking my sister to pay for half of her cat's costs?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186j1be/aita_for_asking_my_sister_to_pay_for_half_of_her/

186j1be

Ok so my girlfriend works the night shift so she often sleeps in till like 5pm and earlier this week I had a surgery and she said she would drive me but she fell asleep. I didnt want to wake her up so I decided it cant be that bad I can totally get myself home after surgery. So went to the clinic was like a 1 hour long procedure I was a bit drowsy from coming off the anaesthetic but otherwise felt I was fit to get back home so I put on my helmet and jacket and rode home without a issue. When I was home I was just relaxing with some ice-cream and my girlfriend woke up and asked me if I got the surgery done I told her yeah. She was like cool who drove you then. I told her I got back myself at this point she was wildley mad at me and was like 'how could you do something so irresponsible I was gonna drive you should have woken me up" I tried to explain I didnt want to ruin her sleep and no harm no foul right. However she wouldnt let it go and is still kinda mad at me rn. So AITA

LumpyAd5694

AITA for not waking up my girlfriend to drive me home after surgery

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jb40/aita_for_not_waking_up_my_girlfriend_to_drive_me/

186jb40

My daughter recently turned 19 and is studying to become an aerospace engineer. I visited her apartment and found a disgusting wardrobe of stripper attire. I confronted her and she told me she works as a stripper multiple times a week for the extra cash and wants to put most of it towards college fees. I am deeply disappointed and ashamed. She shares the apartment with 2 friends and I can’t imagine the life she will lead. I thought I raised her well, to be a respectable woman. She consistently achieved high marks and got into her desired course, I don’t know where I went wrong in raising her or where her intelligence has disappeared to. It also annoys me that for a long time she’s put up a good girl front, talking about her good grades and how much she studies. I feel betrayed by my daughter. edit: for people saying why don’t you support her then. I do, a little bit to some extent. She chooses to buy expensive things that she doesn’t need. Also, yes she may be intelligent in the realm of maths and physics but I fear she’s stupid in other ways. I’d rather her be less academically inclined than an engineer who strips if she manages to become an engineer at this rate.

soojinkang

AITA for scolding my 19f daughter for becoming a stripper?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jbya/aita_for_scolding_my_19f_daughter_for_becoming_a/

186jbya

I’m not using real names for reasons. I Tanner (17M) and the main person I blocked, let’s call him Tyler(16M). Me and tanner were pretty good online friends around 2022 and we enjoyed each others company for awhile. I then made the idea to start a discord server and that was a horrible idea. It ended up being a few people I really thought was cool. One of them was Tanner. He ended up posting nsfw and said several times if he wasn’t allowed to post not friendly images in his on channel he would post in general. I kept saying no and stop over the course of weeks while he kept posting non-family friendly material and eventually led to this whole scenario which would be me putting his account on timeout in the server or kicking him from the server. My other friends didn’t really want to kick them which was really weird and I don’t know why. He eventually added one of his friends. Who we’ll call Sniper. Sniper sent a video of something very bad.(Keep in mind we’re all minors). I was at a breaking point and didn’t know what to do. Everything was wrong and I thought I was crazy or something for not liking him. I ended up blocking him for a year while he harassed others specifically one of my friends he hung out with to unblock me for months until he gave up. A years later from blocking him, one of my friends I hadn’t talked to in 3 years start talking again and we become friends again who we’ll call Person. He hates one of my friends and loves the other but also starts really enjoying Tanner. Then I do something extremely dumb and join my friend Person’s server and unblock Tyler. I thought if things would be normal if I did. It was not smart. I got treated like shit by everyone and became the punching bag friend within days. I wasn’t taking that bs so I left and blocked Tyler and no one else yet. I don’t know what to do. I’m mad and don’t know what to do. I took screenshots of the messages for evidence. This all happened in Xbox party chats and discord. So Reddit am I the ashole?

Disastrous-Hour3532

AITA for blocking my creepy “friend” who kept sending me inappropriate things and loves to be rude to me?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186je5e/aita_for_blocking_my_creepy_friend_who_kept/

186je5e

Hello, this is my first time posting here as I need an outsider's point of view. English might be bad because it's not my first language, sorry. I (20ish) have a large friend group, but this is about a friend, Laura (20ish). We all met in Uni. It's difficult to see everyone because of schedules and classes, but I thought we managed to hang out in a good way. One day, we sent an invite on our group chat, and a friend tagged another since he told us that he usually ignored messages and needed to be tagged to find out about stuff like meet ups. So, my friend does that, and Laura sends a message along the lines of "Fuck me I guess" and left the groupchat. It should be noted that we had said before that every invitation sent was towards everyone. We are all weirded out, so we add her again, and she leaves. At this point we ask if something was wrong by DM, but she wouldn't answer. Some friends get a little peeved, but others insist we should give her space. A while passed and we kept being friendly with her, but she would ignore us and look away. She told us by message that she felt left out (which is something she had never brought up before), so we tried to include her and bring her with us more, but she wouldn't budge. She started to try to talk to us, but simultaneously ignore us. Like, she’d say hi sometimes, and turn around other days. It hurt me a little more because she started doing it around me more, maybe because I was the one that’d usually try to wave to her and say hi. Then one day she talked to us. She didn’t bring up anything and just acted oddly calm. I thought everything was good, until she started ignoring us again. My birthday happened weeks after, and I had a small party with some close friends and family. I didn’t feel comfortable inviting Laura, since she still wouldn’t talk to me and I still felt on-edge around her. Laura found out and started being passive aggressive through social media or backhanded comments to others, sending stuff like “you’ve abandoned me” to us, which my friends responded with stuff like “You didn’t congratulate them, and you were ignoring us. We tried to fix this.” Laura’s been vagueposting and everyone is feeling either sad or angry. I’m confused and feel like I’m the asshole, and that I should’ve just invited her and hoped for the best. But whenever we saw each other it felt like she had more of a problem with me than anyone else? I don’t know what I did and I haven’t asked, cause she’s blown up on others when they’ve asked her the same. I’ve been feeling guilty since then and I want to apologize and talk it out, but I don’t even know what I would be apologizing about since she’s the one that ignored me first even when I tried to reach out. I think this whole thing could be solved if I apologized and took the fault. Should I apologize? Am I the Assshole?

Panic-Puppet

AITA for not inviting my friend to my birthday party?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jgpt/aita_for_not_inviting_my_friend_to_my_birthday/

186jgpt

I (20f) currently live with my parents while attending university. I have prescription tablets that I use to treat a skin condition. My doctor initially told me it would be better if I kept them cool so I would keep them in the refrigerator, however after having them constantly disappear and having to replace them 3 times in a single month, I moved them to the medicine cabinet this month. I came back from a two day trip to find that they had disappeared yet again. For context, the medications are very tiny and come in a paper bag so it's easy to assume it's an empty wrapper but I have reminded my parents several times that I am storing them here and have asked them to not throw it away. Anyway, after finding them missing yet again I finally blew up and asked them if someone was throwing them away on purpose. My mother was incredibly offended and told me that I should have stored them in my room. My justification is that my room is often given away to guests so it's better to keep the pills somewhere else so I don't have to move them to different rooms every time the sleeping arrangement changes. And I feel I have the right to not constantly worry that my posessions will be thrown away in the house I live in. AITA?

tyuningsode

AITA for blowing up over medication?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jhgh/aita_for_blowing_up_over_medication/

186jhgh

My sister has asked me for a calculator AGAIN, after losing my other 6, so i refused to give her this one as it’s my last and i dont trust her with them anymore. Was i right to do this? She loses everything i give her, now she’s trying to guilt trip me saying ‘fine set me up for failure’ and being moody!

Little-Dish3408

AITA for not giving my sister a calculator for her test

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jmpq/aita_for_not_giving_my_sister_a_calculator_for/

186jmpq

Hello! My wife and I went to Europe a few years ago for our honeymoon and now we want to go on another international trip to New Zealand. Our x2 single friends wanted to go too and we decided to make it a group trip. We were going to look into sharing a space and probably buying flights shortly before prices change and we planned to purchase this month. Now, one friend says money is a bit tight so we're honestly not sure if they will still go or not. If one doesn't go, we wouldn't want to go with the 3rd wheel and make it like a second honeymoon for us two since we don't get much time alone with work and life. My wife and I would still want to go - but would we be assholes if we buy our flights before the others could potentially buy? If they can both buy later we'll still go as a group and if they can't, we'll just go alone but since it's a group trip we figured it was rude to purchase before everyone. TDRL - AITA if we purchase flights meant for a group trip before the group?

beluga-whale35

AITA if I go on a trip without my friends?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jnqq/aita_if_i_go_on_a_trip_without_my_friends/

186jnqq

I (28F) have been with my husband (32M) for 5 years, married 2 years. I am currently 22 w pregnant and we organised a family dinner last weekend to announce the pregnancy and celebrate. We invited my MIL and FIL (60s) and my BIL's (30's), my family wasn't there as they live on the other side of the country. My MIL is a very standoffish and introverted person and does not care much for kids. My husband said that she only had him and brothers because FIL really wanted kids and there were different expectations for women 30 years ago. He says she never abused them and always met their needs but as soon as FIL was home and dinner was on the table she would withdraw from the kids. He says he never felt any deep connection with her and it hurts him deeply to know he doesn't have a 'real' mother. ​ After dinner my husband stands up and makes the announcement and everyone is thrilled and MIL says congratulations but I can tell she is not as excited as everyone else. After dinner, MIL is helping him with dishes in the kitchen and I am wrapping and putting food away. I hear him ask if she is ready to be a grandmother and she just shakes her head and continues washing dishes. My husband walks out and I can tell he is close to tears. I get really angry and confront her in the kitchen. The argument begins with me asking why she can't be happy for us and she gets defensive and says she is happy for us cause she knows its what we wanted but she says she already raised her kids and doesn't want to be burdened with more. Things escalate from there and I tell she doesn't deserve her son's or FIL and that she is cold hearted for not wanting to be a mother or grandmother. I also say she should have tried to be a better mother. She gets angry which I have never seen before and at this point FIL and brothers are in the kitchen. She grabs her bag and keys and leaves with FIL. That night Hubs tells me he got a long text from FIL that says I was out of line picking a fight that didn't involve me and that I should apologise because MIL did nothing to deserve it. Hubs is near begging me to apologise because 'she is how she is and she is not a bad person for not liking kids'. I disagree with this because I know how much it hurts him and his brothers that she was never an emotionally available mother to them. I am also upset because my kids will not have a grandmother that they can see regularly and I am scared she will hurt them like hubs. Now that I have cooled down I am conflicted on whether I should apologise because it needed to be said but may I should have kept it to myself, AITA?

OneIncident5605

AITA for confronting my MIL about not wanting to be a grandmother?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jru4/aita_for_confronting_my_mil_about_not_wanting_to/

186jru4

So yesterday I (17m) was in my room when my uncles family arrived for dinner, they had 2 kids (16f 18f) and they both for some reason felt they could barge into my room, I told them that I don’t mind them being there but to knock next time as I was studying and doing my hw. I decided to relax and play my favourite game as I was pretty much done with my work. I also decided to blast music in my room (not too loud) as I usually did whenever I played games. They told me that it was too loud and I told them to leave if they didn’t like it. I carried on playing and a few minutes later, they told me the same thing, I ignored them and just kept on playing, my cousin (16f) then proceeded to turn it off, I got a bit mad as it was my favourite song and told them to ‘Either wear headphones or Fuck off’ her older sister then told me not to speak to them like that and we went back and forth but I just kicked them out. Her parents weren’t very happy with either of us and my parents wernt espicially with me for swearing. So AITA here? (PS sorry about the awkward writing style, I’m not very good at writing)

MrGhostToast_

AITA for refusing to lower my music while in my room?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186juyt/aita_for_refusing_to_lower_my_music_while_in_my/

186juyt

I (25) am a disabled artist who sometimes does work for a nonprofit Company called C, which exists to elevate artists with my disability, though it's run by non-disabled folks. The head of the C is Abe, someone I have always considered a friend, though he has a reputation for being hot-headed. Abe has always been good to me, and I have always been a big cheerleader for C. Abe asked me to apply for a government grant with him which would allow C to commission me for a work. We were awarded the grant, and I started the project. Abe then sent over the licensing agreement. It was extremely nonstandard. My union has an "Artist Bill of Rights" and the contract broke like eight out of the ten guidelines.I sent the contract back with edits that would make the agreement more standard. In response Abe sent an email claiming that he was relying on this work to be a "significant revenue stream" for his “small non-profit.” At this point, I looked at the grant terms and discovered a few things: 1. The grant was a support for ARTIST passthrough grant, meaning it wasn't Abe's or C's grant money they were using to commission me, but money I was awarded that C, as a fiscal sponsor, was required to disperse to me. 2. If C wanted to put conditions on the dispersal of funds, they needed to have me sign this agreement prior to even applying for the grant. 3. The grant clearly stated that "Artistic control of, and proprietary rights to, any supported project rest exclusively with the artist." I communicated these facts, and Abe did not take it well, replying "Emails that imply, indirectly or directly, that \[C\] (or myself) are lying to you or otherwise trying to take advantage of you are counterproductive and not conversations we can continue to engage in." What followed was a month of exhausting back-and-forth with C lawyers. I consulted with Fred, the head of the grantee organization, and he said that after everything he wouldn't advise signing a license agreement with C. He proposed I submit a modification to fulfill the grant terms but not give C license to use the work. When C did not respond well to this proposal, Fred rapidly sent an email which made it clear that if C didn't fulfill their grant obligations, he would find me a new sponsor. Abe then emailed a full surrender, saying I could use the funds for whatever but he didn’t want to be involved. He also said that after speaking with the grantee organization, he didn't see any reason for us to talk. So I'm guessing that was also a friendship break-up. Here's why I think I might be the asshole: I gave up on trying to reach an agreement. I think Abe really screwed this up, but I know it was due to inexperience and incompetence, not because they were trying to take advantage of me. I think maybe I did a bad job of communicating. Everyone in my life is telling me I didn't do anything wrong, but I won't know for sure until I get an unbiased opinion. So, AITA? In case it's useful, I'm Autistic.

exclusivelyhereforac

AITA for not signing an agreement that would have benefitted my friend's nonprofit?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jxdr/aita_for_not_signing_an_agreement_that_would_have/

186jxdr

I don’t think I’m the asshole but just in case… I (30f) just bought a condo and am renting out the second bedroom to my (20f) roommate. She brought in a cat and a dog and has been here for a little over a month. She does not have a job (but is able to pay rent until then) and is quite a night owl. I don’t mind this as she’s normally quiet and I sleep with ear plugs. Well tonight is when the issue came to light. My roommate woke up around noon and left her dog with me at home around 4 pm. I took the dog out for a walk and I went to sleep around 9:30 pm and put her dog in her room for bedtime. I was woken up at 10:30 by my roommate coming home and letting her dog running up and down the hallway and all over the condo. I came out and said that the dog running around is not okay because it wakes me up. My roommate got upset and said that a dog can’t just sleep all day and night and needs to get out its energy and that I should just listen to music if the noise bothers me (after denying is makes any noise at all). She said it’s not like she’s making the dog run around and it not within her control. I say that it’s not acceptable at this time of night for sanctioned zoomie time and that it is within her control. I said maybe she shouldn’t sleep all day (literally until at least noon the earliest) and properly take out her dog so it can have a normal sleep/energy cycle? She got really offended by this statement but I genuinely am at a loss here. AITA?? Edit: 1) there are official quite time rules from 10pm to 8am. 2) this is not the first time, just the first time I’ve said something 3) also she actually has a part time job my mistake.

Strong-Row3997

AITA for restricting my roommates dogs exercise time?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186jxq3/aita_for_restricting_my_roommates_dogs_exercise/

186jxq3

I’m currently working 2 jobs because I’m trying to save money for an apartment and to finishing paying my car. My boyfriend quit his job 3 months ago because it was affecting his mental health. I have been trying to help him and I got him a job as a freelancer but still is not enough and is not permanent. He has been applying a lot. Sometimes I also pay for our small holidays because he says that being at home all day is making him depressed. Yesterday we were speaking on the phone and I started complaining about how tired I am for having to work so much and how I was under a lot of stress and he got very upset. He said that is not fair that I’m complaining about having 2 jobs when he doesn’t even have 1, he also told me that I needed to start speaking with someone else about my problems at work and not with him. He ended up saying some other die things and then he hang up on me. Was I wrong and not thinking about his feelings?

RoseGaze_

AITA for complaining about my job with my boyfriend that is unemployed at the moment?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186k0an/aita_for_complaining_about_my_job_with_my/

186k0an

So I (20 M)have a friend (20F) who I spend a lot of time with we go out to the mall, out for food, and play the game a lot the issue is that she’s really indecisive, so much so that I can’t ask her input on anything the answer is always “whatever you want”. I get that sometimes it just doesn’t matter but this is every time. I know it’s kinda dumb but I don’t wanna be “in charge” all the time and have to make every decision it’s tiresome. It came to a head to day while we where playing on the phone playing Minecraft and I asked did she wanna go on an adventure with me and her response was “do you want me to?” I got upset and asked “why are you like this this can you just give me a yes or no and that it’s not THAT hard” she got upset and I hung up and sent her a message explaining what I just said that here indecision is tiresome and it’s bothering me. AITA?

Adventurous_Clue_595

AITA for tell my friend that their indecisiveness bothers me

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186k13y/aita_for_tell_my_friend_that_their_indecisiveness/

186k13y

Myself (M) and the girlfriend have been together for a good few years now. She is taller than me by about 4 inches and I was a relatively short and skinny lad whereas she was more on the bigger side. When we first met, she wasn’t fat (not using the word as a demeaning or insult btw), just a bit on the bigger side. As time has gone on, i too have gained a bit of a belly (whilst also gaining a temperamental acid reflux), whereas because of her mental health and medication, she has gained a few stones (more so recently) and is currently the biggest she has ever been (her words). My potential fuck-up: We have been through a bit of a rough patch a lot recently, and a problem that was brought up was our sax life and how minimal it has become. I mentioned how we have our growing differences in shapes and that i want her to be happy and healthy within herself, but also wanted to say that i am struggling with it. I mentioned how the acid reflux effects it and tried broaching the topic as gently as possible whilst trying to aim the problem being more myself rather than her weight, but maybe i said the wrong thing or shouldn’t have said it at all. I understand talking about weight is a very tough subject, especially someone with mental health issues, but i did not want to lie or pretend that everything is ok. This was a few days ago, she told me last night how mad she is with me for it and for basically calling her fat and that i should love her or find her attractive whatever her physical differences are, which is a fair point. AITA?

DabbleWhammy

AITA for mentioning to my gf our growing physical differences?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186k1rd/aita_for_mentioning_to_my_gf_our_growing_physical/

186k1rd

I (22f) live with my grandma, who I'm taking care of because she's in a bad health condition. My sister (20f) moved in with us 3 years ago. She's been absolutely obsessed with kpop since she was around 13. She's been listening, going to concerts and making dance videos. The problem is, her absolute dream is to become a kpop star is Korea, and she's certain that a kpop manager will notice her and take her there to make her a kpop idol. She quit highschool when she was 16 to train singing and dancing. She moved in with me because she couldn't find a job, and we agreed that she will help me with taking care of grandma or help around the house. (giving her meds, bathing, cleaning etc) She was a member of a dancing team for a year and she would make some money by doing performances with them, but she quit because she wanted a "solo carrier", and she didn't have any job since then. Our parents have been paying money to me for taking her in, but three months ago dad had to quit his job because of an injury he got. Now, they can only pay for half of the rent, and I gave her a notice that she will have to move out if she can't find a job in a month. She claimed that she was working hard for her dreams, and I called her delusional for still believing that she'll become a kpop idol. I told her at this point she may even need professional help. The month went by and she still doesn't have a job, and our mother have been calling me to not kick her out and let her experience her dreams in peace, and to stop abusing her. I told her I was not abusing her, but I can't take care of grandma and her. I talked to grandma about her. Grandma told me that she's been barely helping her, she wouldn't cook because she can't, she does clean tho, but doesn't go buy groceries or grandma's meds. I told my sister she will have to move out next week, she had a notice, and I asked her multiple times to find a job already. Now my parents are berating me for breaking my sister's heart.

Calm-Wolverine6616

AITA for kicking out my kpop obsessed sister?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ketl/aita_for_kicking_out_my_kpop_obsessed_sister/

186ketl

They asked me to watch Pete for a couple of weeks while they celebrate their ten year anniversary. Pete is an African Grey. My dad told me to give him 'activities' and make sure he isn't bored. When I asked for clarification, he said 'Keep him stimulated,' patted me on the back and left. I read Dr Pepperberg's 'Alex and Me' for some inspiration and decided to teach him to identify/label his stuff. He was already able to talk quite well, saying things like 'You overslept' and 'Have a good day', and asking for 'More food.' He already knew the words 'I want.' I taught him a total of five new words : ‘'wood blocks', 'foraging', 'perch', 'ladder' and 'bagel cascade.' A couple of days after my parents returned, my dad called. He was really annoyed. When I asked him what's going on, he quickly told me off for 'teaching him so many new words' without asking first. I went to his place and hung out there, and soon enough Pete was saying ‘I want bagel cascade!’ Dad said he has also already screamed for the ladder and perch, and that it's my fault. I really thought he would only ask nicely and didn't think he would scream for stuff.

Chulder

AITA for teaching my parents' parrot to identify/label belongings?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186kf8f/aita_for_teaching_my_parents_parrot_to/

186kf8f

So me (17) and her (18) were best friend and did everything together. I told her all my secrets and gossip if something happened. I found out that she was gossiping behind my back so I did what she did and started gossiping about her behind her back to. This was going an for about 4 months until she confronted me. She told me that she knew about the gossiping but I told her that that’s crazy and I would never do something like that. I now know that that was wrong and I should’ve told her the truth but at that time I didn’t. A little bit of a backstory but she was really pretty and was starting to get in the populair group. I also have another best fried who’s litterly my soulmate and would never wanna hurt.but the girl was gossiping about her and saying thing that weren’t true just so she can have a little bit of attention. My best friend was really sad about this because she lost a lot of friend because of this. And things at home weren’t so good either. So I finely lost my temper and started to gossip really wreck less about her so everyone new what a b*tch she was. Well guess what she found out and confronted me. I still denied( which I shouldn’t have done). Later when I was home I asked her I we could talk the next day. She said no and that the last time she was ever gonna talk to me was on the phone, so that’s what we did. It was a mess but it was all worth it. Now she has no friends anymore and was kicked out of the popular group. Who was in the wrong me or her?

AITAH_official

AITAH for giving my friend a taste of her own medicine?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ki5z/aitah_for_giving_my_friend_a_taste_of_her_own/

186ki5z

Hey friends, SO I have a bit of a narcissistic hot head for a friend who doesn’t think he has insecurity issues or a control complex, THUS I’ve come here for the truth Basically my buddy had a new relationahip with a girl that I’ve been acquainted with to the absolute bare minimum degree for a few years now, she’s a bartender at a bar that I used to frequent a lot and occasionally still do. Never been close with her or even what I would consider to be friends. Me and her had a bit of a small fight over a political issue and she got mad and told me she won’t serve me anymore Last I heard him and said bartender broke up to the point that they were giving each others stuff back and actively fighting BUT still sleeping together on occasion My other friend who’s a regular at that bar wanted to go there because she got broken up with so i went there with her. At this point I have not been there for about 2 months which means I haven’t seen the bartender for that length of time since we had a falling out ( before that I was there every week with at-least one of the two friends mentioned here ) Upon entrance to the bar said bartender greeted me with a friendly hello, and a compliment about my new haircut( average bartender rhetoric) I took this as a peace offering since last she said “ she wouldn’t talk to me anymore “ and so in response after my friend bought a beer on our way to the pizza joint next door I offered the bartender a slice of pizza as my own form of peace offering. to which she gratefully said “ yes please I’m starving “ I went ahead brought her a slice and went about my night with almost no further engagement aside from her literally apologizing that her bf ( my friend ) was gonna message me because he’s mad I got her pizza, and that she wasn’t mad and knew it was a peace offering He then proceeded to curse me out over text and said to “stop getting his gf to try to like me” and tried to tell me I have no boundaries to which I replied by telling him to shut the fuck up ( sarcastically ) and that he’s crazy and that he can talk to me tmrw about it because my friends having a breakup episode and that was my focus. His response was to call my friend a whore, Curse me out more and say I’m crazy and have boundarie issues and this is abnormal and inappropriate… I think he’s a weirdo with control issues and insecurities AMITA TLDR: I bought a friends ex gf who I didn’t know was his gf again a slice of pizza while me and my other friend were at her bar she was working at as a peace offering because we had gotten into a fight previously. He exploded and said I broke a boundary by offering her a slice.

Imaginary-Present373

AITA for buying my friends gf a slice of pizza

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186kio7/aita_for_buying_my_friends_gf_a_slice_of_pizza/

186kio7

Okay so hey guys I just need your help if I should apologize or not. Today when I was in design technology, this kid named james was using the piro pen on his wooden bat and he was meant to spell cook but instead he wrote coock so when I looked at it I immediately started laughing and was mocking him for spelling cook wrong. ( He always makes fun of my height and make fun of my appearance.) Anyway, after that he looked really sad and my other friend athena who was on the other side of him took me away to a corner and told me he had dyslexia. I was shocked and I didn't know what to do so I just walked away so now I feel really bad but I didn't know he had dyslexia. Am I the asshole?

ilovechicken333

AITA for making fun of someone with dyslexia?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186kq77/aita_for_making_fun_of_someone_with_dyslexia/

186kq77

I feel so bad about what I did tonight at the gym. :( I just started going to a commercial gym a couple months ago, and am still getting the hang of gym etiquette. I was deadlifting at 8pm tonight after the rush hour had sort of died down a little. About 10-15 minutes in, a girl walks up and asks how many sets I have, and I told her 2. She then walks off to the back of the turf area halfway (still within view of the deadlift platform) across the gym with her friend to chat. Two minutes later, I go and finish another set. Then one of the two guys who had been chatting and warming up with rack pulls next to me around the same time I started came and asked me how many more sets I had left. I nervously told them I was starting my last set in a minute, coming to the realization that they had probably already been waiting to get on since I started. Eventually they stand up to wait behind me as I’m doing my last set. Of course, like the awkward dumbass that I am, I neglected to tell them that the first girl had already asked me and was presumably waiting to get on after me. After I finished, they offered to remove the plates for me after seeing me struggle for a few seconds. They then start to walk off with the barbell. I thanked them and started walking off to the bathroom feeling like the biggest idiot. Two minutes later, I come out and make eye contact with the two guys who had began walking up the stairs to the treadmill and just assumed that the girls probably kicked them off (not sure because I didn’t even see if they had gotten on the deadlift platform). So did I accidentally offend all of these people tonight? Do we have beef now? I’m literally going to be up all night because of this incident.😭

randomperson8596

AITAH for not telling someone another person was waiting for a piece of equipment I was done using at the gym?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186kr5f/aitah_for_not_telling_someone_another_person_was/

186kr5f

I was about to head downstairs to make breakfast when the door bell suddenly rang, looked outside the window to see my dads friend. I go to answer the door and my dads friend says he was here to collect a music stand. My dad at this point was in the toilet so I shouted from downstairs about the situation and he apologised saying he forgot this morning to take it out the shed. He then asked me to get it out and give it to his friend and that’s when I let out a loud groan (this part is important). It was 7 in the morning and freezing cold outside and I wasn’t pleased at all to do what he asked - despite this I still went out to the shed because no one else could. It was pretty dark in the shed so I went back to get my phone and use the flash on it but my dad opened the window and asked me what I was doing so I had to explain to him I was going back inside to get my phone. At this point I’m really annoyed and it was clear through my tone of voice that I was frustrated. He told me that there was a light in the shed I could turn on so I went back and found the stand. I go back to the front door and gave the music stand to my dads friend, who smiled, said thanks and left. 15 minutes later, while eating my breakfast, my dad came down and had this look of slight anger on his face. He told me that there was no need for my attitude where I groaned loudly when I was given a favour to do. He went on to say how he felt embarrassed when I groaned and said that if I weren’t happy to help then I shouldn’t just help in the first place. I reply (and this is the most important part) by saying “of course I’m not happy”. He looks at me with shock and I go on to explain saying that “it is freezing cold outside and early in the morning, of course I’m not going to be happy about it but I was willing to do the task because you asked me to and someone had to”. I could he was quite hurt with what I said and was in total disbelief. As he was preparing to leave the house for work he went on to say stuff like “what do you think [my dads friend] would think about you? And what he would think about me?” I wanted to reiterate my explanation because I’m pretty sure he didn’t understand me and I had worded it quite poorly but I remained silent because I didn’t want it to look as if I was making up excuses. As he left he mentioned, “I had asked you to do a favour and you repay me with that? Fine, next time you ask for one I won’t bother.” This all happened about an hour ago and I feel guilty and bad now for what I said. I do think he was overthinking the part about what his friend would think about us. The way I see it, he was told about the music stand and given the notice prior so if he remembered about it, none of this would have happened. It was quite unfortunate that my dads friend showed up at a time when everyone was occupied but me and I had just woken up 5 minutes before so I wasn’t in the best of moods. What do you guys think, WIBTA?

Traditional-Cell-190

AITA for saying I wasn’t happy when helping my dad?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186l4dv/aita_for_saying_i_wasnt_happy_when_helping_my_dad/

186l4dv

I'm M22, single, and this year my family (?) kicked me out of the house. I must mention that I have autism + some anxiety issues + alexithymia (I don't know how to identify my emotions and externalize them adequately). Until the beginning of this year, I lived with my parents (*Rose* & *Carlos*) and my 3 older brothers (*Juan*, *Sergio*, and *Diana*). It had been like this for as long as I can remember, until a year after I graduated from college (January of this year). I get along very well with my brothers and my father. I can't say the same for my mother (*Rose*) unfortunately, who for as long as I can remember gave us severe punishments for the slightest mistake and for trying to "defy her" (asking her things whose answer goes beyond "because I say that"). Jumping to January of this year, on a Saturday (not a business day from my job), *Juan* who is living with his wife calls me on my phone and tells me to go to his house immediately. I go and he tells me that *Rose* had called him and told him that she wanted me out of her house, that I was too quiet, and that she "couldn't stand it anymore". Therefore, he should receive me in his house (by then he had not even given time to consult this with his wife and I didn't know it) because *Rose* didn't want me in her house. I didn't know how to react to news like this. On the one hand, I wanted to become independent, to be away from, mainly, *Rose*; but on the other hand, I kept wondering why they "had decided" that they didn't want me anymore from one day to another, since after all, I didn't treat her particularly bad as she did with me, but treating her just as anyone in the family, or at least that how I remember since my memories are also blurry. Then I moved. Fast forward to a few months ago, *Sergio* decided to come visit me. "How convenient!" I thought because I wanted to ask him about it. He tells me that *Rose* kicked me out because when I came home from work, I didn't greet anyone and that I was going to go straight to bed so I wouldn't have to see anyone's face. He told me that my attitude repeatedly made them understand that "I was not going to lower myself to the level of my family who is unemployed, and that I'm not going to speak to them just because I have a job and they don't". In my mind the word "***WTF!?***" resonated every second. *Sergio* also told me that although *Rose* made that decision very abruptly, that I deserved to be kicked out of the house. Of course, I told *Sergio* at once that that was not my intention. I still can't believe that they have justified what they did with that explanation, and at this point, I'm tired of giving it any more thought than I would like to, but my conscience is eating away at me and although a little time has passed, I still can't process all of this. **That's why I'm anxious to know, AITA?**

Incoherent-Leonard23

AITA for "being too quiet", being kicked out of the house of my parents?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186lp2j/aita_for_being_too_quiet_being_kicked_out_of_the/

186lp2j

I guess I'll start with the obligatory "I didn't have a reddit account but saw a lot of these posts on other social media and now I want to try this myself. Also english is not my first language"-statement. ​ I feel like I need to provide some context first: I have suffered from depression (actually a bunch of other stuff, where my struggles ultimately lead to depression) for a long time. Have been in and out of therapy/ on and off meds and in patient a few times. This has resulted in multiple failed attempts to finish university or a vocational training. Finally I got into a vocational program where I had support (government paid for it, sick days didn't count as long as grades are fine, provided a therapist). I finished best of my class and have just now started my first real full time job. I also spiraled downwards into a depressive episode for the last few months that is now at a point where I can't hide it/ compensate it any more). ​ Now onto the actual matter: My partner (41M) and I (32F) had a discussion/ fight over the phone last night. I told him I am in a depressive episode last week, gave him some factors but ultimately told him there is no one reason, I myself don't know what's wrong exactly. He brought that up. He said he doesn't get why I'm struggling so hard for there is no reason. In fact everything should be fine now that I finished school and started my new job. This made me snap. So I sarcastically said something like "You're right. I don't have a clear reason to be depressed. Thank you for telling me. I guess I won't be then" snapped my fingers "there I'm healed." He got mad. Said he can't talk to me if I acted like that and hung up the phone. So was I out of line here?

penguinsarewholesome

AITA for being sarcastic in response to a hurtful comment from my partner

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186lqhd/aita_for_being_sarcastic_in_response_to_a_hurtful/

186lqhd

This is a throwaway account and English isn't my first language so please forgive my mistakes. I am 31F and my step-sister is 25F. When I was 4 years old my mother died of illness. My father remarried when I was 8 years old to a woman who was also a widow who had a 2 year old daughter. I always saw my step mother as my own mom and called her 'mom' from the beginning. I also saw my step sister as my own sister and never treated them as people who weren't family. In return, my stepmother (who I will henceforth refer to as mom) was also very nice to me and never discriminated between me and my step sister. I met my mom's parent's a few days before my father remarried. I met them every weekend and they made it clear to me after a few visits that I was just as much their granddaughter as my stepsister was. Me and my stepsister were close to our grandparents and they always treated us equally. My dad's parents died when I was one year old so except for them, I didn't have grandparents. My bio mom's parents died before I was born. Fast forward to now. On my step-sister's 25th birthday, grandma gave her a ring, necklace and bracelet. She said these were family heirlooms and were given to the granddaughters when they turned 25. These had been passed through generations and my grandma often wore the pieces in rotation. They had sentimental and monetary value. Since my step-sister is the only granddaughter, she got all three pieces which my grandma had. I didn't know they were heirlooms until step-sister's birthday and I was hurt. They had always treated me as their own but didn't give me anything when I turned 25 to keep the tradition. It didn't have to be an heirloom, I would have been happy with anything. When I was 25, I got a dress from my grandparents. My grandma called me two days after the birthday and told me that she had seen my expression at the birthday. She said that heirlooms were for blood family and as much as she loved me, I wasn't actually her granddaughter. It's been 6 months since then and I don't speak much to either grandparent now. For grandpa's birthday I sent a gift, flowers and called him but I didn't go to see him. We used to have lunch together about every 2-3 weeks but I don't go to those as much as I did before. Additionally, my grandma's birthday is coming up and I plan on doing what I did on grandpa's birthday for her instead of visiting. I just can't get her words out of my mind. WIBTA for not going to visit? I want to clarify that I didn't make any fuss or cry or anything during step-sister's birthday or any time I have called or gone to see them. My mom says that she understands I'm hurt but my grandparent's miss me. (I posted this 12 days ago but it got deleted since it broke the rules and I did not get judged. Now there is an added issue of my grandma's birthday so I am reposting the same thing with added information. This is not a repeated post.)

aitagrandmanecklace

WIBTA for not visiting my grandma on her birthday?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186lqu2/wibta_for_not_visiting_my_grandma_on_her_birthday/

186lqu2

TL;DR - I told my mom that my sister's ignorance is partly her fault, since she never exposed us to any books, culture, or really anything beyond school. Long version: For some background, we live in a small community with a pretty good school in a somewhat undeveloped country. My sister (22) barely finished high school, she never opened a book she didn't have to, and she's generally very uncaring towards any field of knowledge that I can think of, to the point of sheer ignorance. She can also be very shallow and self-centered, and her Tiktok persona is a big part of her life. She still hasn't left my parents' home, and claims she's saving money to run a nails salon in the future (which is perfectly fine by me, all jobs are fucking hard and should be respected accordingly). It's not all bad though, she has a bubbly personality, and she's very sociable, generous and bakes killer cookies. My mother is the polar opposite. She's a teacher, and despite having simple upbringing, raised herself to be an extremely educated woman. She has a master's degrees in 3 different fields and is currently getting another in computer science "for fun". As for myself (27), I'm a huge nerd. I've been a book worm since the moment I learned how to read and spent a big chunk of my youth in the local library. I got a bachelor's degree in Philosophy when I was 17, and taught myself programing in a young age. I left home when I was 19, and currently work full-time in software development. With that out of the way, about 2 years ago my mother and I had heart-to-heart where she mentioned she's deeply frustrated with my sister being very shallow and "not attempting to learn anything or better herself in any way". To which I replied that she (my mom) made no effort to cultivate that part of her. She said that's nonsense and evidently, I came out fine, to which I replied that it was mostly due to my own curiosity. Growing up, our house had no books in it, she never asked about what we were reading or doing online, she never filtered or encouraged us to consume better content, she never took us to plays or museums, and she never pushed us to learn anything out of what was necessary for school. While she herself appreciates culture and knowledge, expecting us to automatically be the same without encouraging us to do so is unreasonable. While she cared about our well being and happiness, education was never a big talking point in our house. This discussion ended with her weeping, and she keeps referring to it sarcastically whenever we meet. I'll tell her about my visit to France with my wife and she'd go "of course I loved France, because this country isn't good enough for me", or a theme-park we've been to popped up a conversation and she'd go "even though you had such an awful uncultured childhood" etc. So… I'm wondering, am I in the wrong here, or was I did I just inconsiderate by saying it out loud? AITA?

Enough-Donkeys

AITA for telling my mom my sister's ignorance is partly her fault

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186luw4/aita_for_telling_my_mom_my_sisters_ignorance_is/

186luw4

Background: I (21F) started modeling in March of this year. I started at a modeling agency that had a new branch in my city. This was a collab type arrangement meaning no one got paid for the work being done. I thought it would be fun. As months went on the environment became more and more toxic. We would do a shoot and only get the pictures 3/4 months after the shoot. If we had any type of issue the woman running the agency would threaten to kick us out if we don't "suck it up". Now: I had left that agency for another that in the past month has been much better than the first. I still had one of the pictures from the old content as my profile picture on my socials. Today after posting some of the new content i received a message from the old agency threatening to take legal action if i do not remove the photo. I told her i would but that i thought it was strange that she was only mentioning it now. She then went off on me telling me the attitude wasnt a good look and that it is wrong to take pictures from someone else's business (photos of me) and use them without paying and that it was a slap in the face. To my knowledge the content was not paid for in the first place so I was quite taken aback. I let my current agency know about the situation and they said she has no legal right to press charges but to still delete the photo to just get her off my back. So AITA for still using the photos after I had left?

New_Positive_13

AITA for using pictures from my old modeling agency?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186lzjc/aita_for_using_pictures_from_my_old_modeling/

186lzjc

I have a friend who is early 50s but acts like in his 20s. We've known each other for a few years and he has been an alcoholic with no job most of the times, etc. I wasn't able to join him for Thanksgiving because I worked and I said we could go to the movies on another day and agreed. He told me later on he has no money for a ticket and I was lile whatever fine, I'll buy it. We met, went inside and he bought a big popcorn bag for himself. He didn't offer to buy me anything. Then we started watching the movie and he started drinking beer that he had hid in his car and chewing on Marijuana edibles. So much for not having money for a ticket but this. Sometime near the middle of the movie he whispers to me that he wants to have a smoke and he will go for a bit at the bar outside. I thought he was coming back and then he texted me like if I were coming to the bar. Didn't reply since I was busy watching the movie. He didn't return alone and had left all kinds of shit on his seat, popcorn, beer, cigarettes... I called him when the movie ended and he said he left and was waiting for ne at the bar. Started complaining that the movie was boring, like blaming it on me. So sad that I bought the tickets myself so I told him off.

fools_set_the_rules

AITA for telling off my friend after leaving in the middle of a movie?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186m5go/aita_for_telling_off_my_friend_after_leaving_in/

186m5go

I (F28) had a very stressful Christmas last year (I worked through it all) so this year I decided for once I would do what I want to do and spend it with my boyfriend in his home. Well, today I got added to a group chat and my sister (34ish and lives abroad) and Dad (57) have different ideas. Many months ago (during the Summer) my sister said she may come back for Christmas and stay in my home. I said this should be fine but would ok it with everyone else first (I live with family so no biggie). Today is the 1st time she's mentioned it since, and tbh I forgot. My Dad also said in the chat he wants everyone to go out drinking Christmas Eve (\*like we've always done\*, we've never once done that). So, the problem is I don't want to do ANY of that. I told them both today, I'm sorry I have plans. I feel like my sister should have planned this sooner and they both should not assume they can plan stuff and I'll just be there. I want other people's input though, aita for standing my ground and ruining their Christmas plans?

psychopompgonnagetya

AITA for Ruining My Sister's and Dad's Christmas Plans

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186mgcf/aita_for_ruining_my_sisters_and_dads_christmas/

186mgcf

CW: mental health problems, su!cide, toxic/abusive relationship(?) About half a year ago I (then 14) was in a long distance relationship with my now ex boyfriend (then 16) while he was having major mental health issues. His parents were abusive, he was struggling with an ed, ptsd, adhd and gender dysphoria + body imagine issues. Me myself weren't in a good mental state either but were always helping him if he needed reassurance with his self worth or if he just needed to get his mind off. Let's say it kinda took over hand and I was like literally spending my whole day with him and his problems leading to burn out and more mental health problems for myself because it just took incredibly much energy from me in a time I needed it myself. Because of that I wasn't really sure if I was really in love with him anymore and considered breaking up with him and just quitting contact but I think he kinda noticed that I was trying to distance myself from him (because I was trying to make the breakup as unhurtful as possible for him). Before it was that bad he already told me multiple times that he'd try to not be around anymore if I wouldn't be there for him but after that it got even more and worse. I felt trapped in my situation because if I'd leave him he'd probably hurt himself and if I would've stayed I wasn't sure if I was able to keep going anymore. With the help of my mom I was able to arrange one day per week in which I'd just turn of my phone and just took some time for myself and was just telling him I was on a family trip or something, which led to him trying to hurt himself while I wasn't online. That continued about quarter a year till I was just done, we somehow got in a fight and I just blocked him on all social media platforms and blocked his number. First I was feeling guilty like shit but after now half a year I'm glad that I rather took care of myself. I still think about if it was okay what I did so I thought about posting it here. AITA? (please excuse the bad grammar english is not my first language)

Double-Tomatillo-960

AITA for leaving my mentally ill bf?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186mjdm/aita_for_leaving_my_mentally_ill_bf/

186mjdm

For context, I am 16M. I came to Reddit, because I have no idea how to feel. My dad, when I was younger. Struggled with severe depression. He used to get mad at his video games, and take it out on us. Whether it be for making a tiny mess, or for forgetting to shut the door. That is what it was like for a food 10 years of my life. Beginning when I was born. My mother has always been the quiet type, one to never voice her opinions. And that’s why she did nothing for a long time, and silently agreed with my father every time he got mad. Skipping forward, my parents got divorced when I was around 12. And when it all ended, he had got out of his depression. I now visit my father by law, for around 50 hours every 2 weeks. However, when I go out to his house. I can tell that he is just trying to spend time with me, and make memories with me. However, after further court hearings between my parents, it’s come out that he has been lying about his financial hardship. Not to just me, but everyone he knows. He has used his financial troubles as an excuse to make us feel bad for him, so we would not leave him. And frankly, I’m tired of it. And want to cut him off from my life. Not completely however, in a way that I barely have to talk to him. AITA for wanting to cut ties with my father? I feel like I have a valid reason, but he is still my father. P.S. I’m aware that this is very vague. I do not feel like I should be going into detail. And I’m aware that I skipped through a lot of time. However the only thing you guys are missing in that big amount of time is more instances of the same thing happening.

Frizics2

AITA for trying to leave my dad?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186mrdk/aita_for_trying_to_leave_my_dad/

186mrdk

This sub has helped me before so I thought it could help give some clarity to this situation. I feel like I need to give context so this makes sense: me and my twin brother are planning to leave our hometown. Our parents discovered it and were not happy about it. We had a pretty big fight over it and during it my mom said something that forced them to reveal they are not biologically our parents despite what we've been lead to believe. Obviously that was a pretty big shock and the argument spiraled even further, and it ended with both of us getting kicked out of home. We are staying with a kind neighbor. I said all that because I want to put into perspective that our relationship with the family is not exactly great at the moment. Our siblings and the rest of our relatives are all siding with our parents (and have texted/called us to say as much), and it seems like the entire town's consensus is that we are being ungrateful. I guess that's fair, but what is done is done. That being said, since we were teenagers me and my brother have had an agreement with the family where we help out whoever needs it with cleaning, taking care of kids and whatever else we can do. We are the designated "helpers" if that makes sense? It's part of our duty as youngest siblings and we usually do it gladly. My older sibling called yesterday and asked both of us to clean her house since she has an event coming up. I usually would do it right away, but my brother says that we shouldn't do it since we aren't on good terms at the moment. I listened to him and didn't go, because I also would've felt pretty awkward if I went. My older sister has texted to let me know that on top of being an awful daughter I'm a terrible sibling, and that my word means nothing since I broke an agreement that we've had for years. My brother thinks that we don't owe them anything if they are against us. AITA?

KeyCommunication7915

AITA for breaking an agreement because of a fight?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186ms1l/aita_for_breaking_an_agreement_because_of_a_fight/

186ms1l

I (14f) is considered quite popular at school. There is a babyish girl in my friend group that thinks quite specially about me and copy everything I do. She pays a lot of attention to my hobbies and likes and almost immediately copies it. It is really annoying. This had been going on for a year. Therefore I asked my friend group to tell her the wrong places and times that we meet up as a group. I also asked them to ignore her. My other friend was calling me mean for it.

annoyedclassmate

AITA for discriminating against copycat classmate?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186msiq/aita_for_discriminating_against_copycat_classmate/

186msiq

I bought a dog a week ago from a family moving overseas for an indefinite amount of time, while I myself am moving states in a few days and taking the dog with me. Upon buying the dog, he came with various toys, harnesses, leashes and extras that came with him, and I drove 1 hour and paid the agreed upon price. I instantly bonded with the dog and he sleeps by the foot of my bed the entire time. Now recently the previous family, who I've kept in touch with and sent photosand videos, asked me to give back a muzzle and electric collar which I obliged, but in doing so I had to drive 1 hour back towards where they live. I apparently gave them not the muzzle I received from them but a new one I had bought myself so they're asking me to drive back and give me the correct muzzle to them. Now at this point I was a bit annoyed because the muzzle was for a supposed friend of theirs dog and it didnt fit, and its not my problem, plus my car is a fuel guzzler, it's expensive, and takes a lot of time (2 hour round trip). Plus I didn't have to take it back as technically I bought them along with the dog. The lady also claims her 3 kids want to see the dog again (even though she told me the dog was shut outside most of the time as its a large breed and they don't want him accidentally hurting the kids who are all under 10). Two of the kids HAVE seen the dog again but didn't seem very excited. I'm retired from the navy with a lot of free time under my belt usually but I need to start driving approx 1000 miles to my new property, leaving as soon as the weather permits. I also have a lot of last minute necessary errands to do and probably won't have time to make another two hour round trip. Is it normal for the precious owners to demand seeing their dog so often again? AITA for not letting them meet the dog in person again and not swapping the new muzzle I gave them for the old one they gave me?

Suspicious_Tower_361

AITA for not letting the previous owners of my dog see him one last time as I'm moving?

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186muw9/aita_for_not_letting_the_previous_owners_of_my/

186muw9

Ok so me and my wife are currently on vacation to her home country here in south east asia and she really wanted to take me to a street food stall which I would normally never eat at but she convinced me to go with her. When we got there it was really unhygienic like the guy wasnt even wearing gloves or anything so I refused to eat it cause well who knows were his hands have been. This cause my wife to be mad at me for being to "posh" and refusing to eat something cause the guy wasnt wearing any gloves which she claims is perfectly normal. She brought up a couple other times I refused to do things with her cause they weren't upto my normal standards. However I think I was correct in this specific scenario cause well Im not eating food that some stranger without gloves or running water cooked. So aita

Glass_Tear_2525

AITA for not wanting to eat street food on vacation with my wife

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186mz2l/aita_for_not_wanting_to_eat_street_food_on/

186mz2l

Many months ago (during the Summer) my half sister mentioned she was thinking of coming home for Christmas and staying in my house (not a family home and not owned by me). At the time I said this should be fine but would ok it with everyone else first once she knows if she is coming home. So, today my sister asked if she can stay over Christmas, but I already made plans and won't be at home. I explained this to her and apolagised. To be honest I forgot, we haven't spoken since the Summer and the plans to stay at mine were always a maybe. I feel like an asshole now because I told her during the Summer she could stay if she was coming home, but now I'm telling her I have plans and she'll have to find somehwere else for Christmas. So, AITA for forgetting about our possible Christmas plans? Edit for clarification: I live with our uncle who my sister doesn't know. I offered to ask him if she can still stay (which I doubt he will have a problem with) but I won't be there over the Holidays. Because she doesn't know him she doesn't want to stay without me. We would likely still see each other over the Christmas at my Dad's home. My sister and I are not close and didn't grow up together. Over the past few years we only talk occasionally over text and meet up rarely. Edit edit: further clarification, my sister had taken me and her other family members away on a paid holiday (she paid flights and accomadation) when we had a conversation about these possible plans. Again, nothing was ever set in stone, and she hasn't contacted me since right after the Summer holidays (never mentioning coming home for Christmas again, until today). I do get how it seems assholey seeing as she took us on holidays. I did already apolagise to her. I planned to spend the holidays at my boyfriends (10 yr relationship) home instead, I've never done this and don't want to dissapoint him. I will be working next Christmas so it will be a long time until we can do it again if this years plans are postponed.

psychopompgonnagetya

AITA For Forgetting about Christmas Plans

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/186n34p/aita_for_forgetting_about_christmas_plans/

186n34p