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danthareja

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cognitive-distortion

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Hi I am 20 years old and just recently moved to Chile with my mother after the separation with my step dad. I have always suffered from depression and have taken medication for it but it seems to never work. These past few years it seems that I have gotten worse. I am constantly down on myself never thinking I am good enough. I can’t even remember what it feels like to be happy. I get angry over what my mother tells me are small things but I tell her they aren’t small to me. I am always on a rollercoaster of emotions, I can be having a good time and the simplest thing will bring me down and I am upset the rest of the day.

I am constantly down on myself never thinking I am good enough. I am always on a rollercoaster of emotions, I can be having a good time and the simplest thing will bring me down and I am upset the rest of the day.

7Overgeneralization

Very embarrassed to discuss this issue, but simply, I have reason to believe my father has a slight sexual attraction to me and my sister. Growing up he was very touchy feely and he still is until this day. He will touch our butt and make comments about our breast. He always says it in a joking manner, even in front of our mother, and she doesn’t think much of it. It has become more of a problem for me as I have gotten older and I do not want that kind of attention from my father. It makes me very uncomfortable. This behavior isn’t incessant, but I still do not find it normal. I still have a good relationship with my dad, however, and go to him for emotional support. I just think his treatment toward my sister and I, no matter how casual it is, is normal to me at this point.

2No Distortion

From a teen in England: I continually go through different moods throughout the day and i’m recently struggling to see the point in living, but I do not want to die. I often look at the world and think everything appears to be fake, that buildings and other objects could easily be ripped down.

2No Distortion

I find myself wanting to kill and I find myself drifting off in class thinking how easy it would be to just kill every person in my class and i fantasize about the different ways i could do it. And when im happy or excited i think about just going through my house with a shotgun and killing everyone in my family and it makes me smile and get butterflies in my stomach. I dont know what is wrong with me i dont want to talk to anyone about it cause they will call me crazy and i dont want to go to a mental hospital i just want one kill. Just one maybe when im older in the middle of no where and i want it be gruesome and i wanna enjoy every second of it. Im sorry im like this.

2No Distortion

From a teen in England: I lied to my boyfriend for over 1 1/2 years about my sexual relation with my ex. When he kept asking I would say I did nothing. I confessed recently that I did do things but only confessed 10% of it. He offered me the chance to tell him anything else but I didn’t and I promised him that I won’t lie again.

2No Distortion

From a young man in the U.K.: A few years ago I noticed a strange tic-like symptom had appeared, it seems whenever my mind wanders to something embarrassing or uncomfortable in the past, no matter how significant or otherwise – I often tense up for a second and am unable to control myself from blurting out the words “Kill yourself” or “you should die”, “shoot yourself”; often rather loud and violently directed at my own self. I have a harder and harder time trying to squash these outbursts in public.

2No Distortion

I’m 15 and struggle with depression; its become an issue thats affecting my performance in school& ability to function properly. My parents are divorced but I have no choice but for there to be more of my mom’s time & she has more control over my life in general. a few months ago i tried to talk to her about the fact that im depressed and most likely need medical attention, she dismissed it as me just being a lazy hormonal teenager who feels sorry for myself. i said i needed therapy and she said i need to solve my own problems and not rely on a therapist. even if its not a case of mental illness i have no way of knowing this because i cannot get help. its taken a horrible toll on my grades and the only thing keeping me from considering the possibility of suicide is that i have friends who need me. i feel like i cant go on much longer and i have no way of finding out if i need medical attention let alone getting any. my dad would be more understanding but he doesnt have much control and i really feel like i cannot go on much longer without therapy or medication which i cant get. please help.

i feel like i cant go on much longer and i have no way of finding out if i need medical attention let alone getting any.

4Fortune-telling

From the U.S. I guess I’ll start with the fact that I’m an Iraq war veteran. I don’t think that has anything to do with my issues but I’m not a doctor. For a few years I would on occasion feel like I didn’t belong anywhere, I cannot really describe the feeling, but I didn’t feel depressed. Those moments would only last a few days, maybe a week. Now I’m stuck, I feel like a part of me is gone and I don’t belong anywhere,I feel like I want to go somewhere but don’t know where.

Now I’m stuck, I feel like a part of me is gone and I don’t belong anywhere,I feel like I want to go somewhere but don’t know where.

9Mental filter

I really don’t want to feel this way and i have tried over and over again to change it, but it’s like nothing is going through my mind like whatever i tell it, it just doesn’t want to listen i try to force myself many times to do stuff but it’s like it doesn’t want to do anything i already know everything others are telling me but my mind is just ignoring everything like shutting itself away, like i am a walking corpse. To be more blunt i feel like inside i am dying and i just can’t seem to revive it and people keep telling me i am lazy and what not but i just can’t seem to do anything. I don’t know how to make it more clear for others to understand how i am feeling. I am just really tired of feeling this way. It has gotten to the point where if i continue like this, i am almost 100% certain i may really commit suicide.

I really don’t want to feel this way and i have tried over and over again to change it, but it’s like nothing is going through my mind like whatever i tell it, it just doesn’t want to listen i try to force myself many times to do stuff but it’s like it doesn’t want to do anything i already know everything others are telling me but my mind is just ignoring everything like shutting itself away, like i am a walking corpse.To be more blunt i feel like inside i am dying and i just can’t seem to revive it and people keep telling me i am lazy and what not but i just can’t seem to do anything.

1Emotional Reasoning

My girlfriend’s male best friend has been sleeping over at her house. See, he recently moved into my house, and since he’s moved, he’s spent more time at her house than anywhere else. I’m perfectly okay with them hanging out, I’m glad she has such a good friend. But at the end of the day, I really am not okay with him sleeping over at her house when I’m not there. (Question from Canada)

2No Distortion

Greetings, first of all please forgive me if my thoughts aren’t being portrayed correctly in my writing. Anyway. My family has had a history of mental illness/disorders, my grandmother suffered from sociopathy and we believe that her mother was schizoid. Recently, I have begun thinking that something is wrong with me, too. I’ve tried to recall moments in my life when I have shown what some people call “concerning” traits/perspectives and there has been a lot. I seem to prey on people who are “helpless,” people who need shoulders to cry on and once I have their trust, I turn on them. I have contemplated suicide, but not because I was depressed but because my life is routine and routine is boring and being bored is probably one of the worst feelings. I have been in trouble quite a lot during primary school and the start of secondary, due to my attitude to the imbeciles in my class- I always say snide things about them and I have found myself trying to provoke a fight, which makes no sense because it is not logical because they are nothing to me and any retort they make to my arguments simply wouldn’t be worth listening to- it would be like listening to a newborn try to come up with a valid argument.

I have contemplated suicide, but not because I was depressed but because my life is routine and routine is boring and being bored is probably one of the worst feelings.

9Mental filter

Hello. When I was little, my dad used to pin me on the bed to pull my underwear down and bite my bum until it bruised, all the while I kicked and screamed. I wasn’t able to sit down at times afterward. I also have brief flashbacks to when I was left home alone with him. He would call out my name in a high-pitched voice to sound like my mum, and he would get me to go in the bathroom. From where our toilet was positioned, I could see him fully. He would laugh when I went in and turn to me (still exposed). The flashback ends there, but I get this sick feeling about it. I don’t remember leaving the bathroom, and I remember him doing this more than once. I also remember someone opening my bedroom door, and I would pretend to be asleep. That’s as far as that memory goes. A lot of the time at night I would listen through the wall, but I don’t know why.

2No Distortion

From a teen in Italy: (All the things written started more or less 2 years ago but now they’re going worse and worse) I’m an almost 16 years old girl and I don’t know if what I feel is normal. I know that adolescence is a difficult period for most teenagers but I think that for me it’s a little bit too much. I’ve got a lot of problems that my friends don’t have or that at least don’t show.

2No Distortion

From a young woman in Bangladesh: My mother was never really happy with my father tho he is a real gentleman and treats her fairy well. He is always beside her when she’s ill and tries his best to support her yet my mother involved in extramarital relationship more than once. When I was a kid, I saw my mother with my own uncle (youngest brother of my father) sharing the bed while my father was out of the city. Often when my dad went outside the city, my uncle came to our house and it was never ok for me even being a very little kid, I could sense well that they’re doing something really immoral.

2No Distortion

From a teen inthe U.S.: I’m 14 now. When I was in 7th grade I had two best friends. During that school year I didn’t have many classes with them, they had more classes with each other. I began to feel very left out and I got very depressed for some reason. I would always cry and feel worthless because I always felt left out and thought they were getting closer to each other and they were going to leave me behind. Right now I’m a freshman in high school. Now that I look back on that I see that I was overthinking and that it was all in my head.

I would always cry and feel worthless because I always felt left out and thought they were getting closer to each other and they were going to leave me behind.

4Fortune-telling

I am a 35 year old woman and going through a depressing phase of my life. I have been married for over 10 years now and have two young sons. I have known my husband since our school days and we were good friends for about 4-5 years and then our friendship transitioned into a relationship from which he eventually backed out in fear of his mother. But eventually not any significant reasons known to me proposed me later for marriage for which I also agreed as I was in love with him. To me most probable reasons for him proposing me 1. he felt guilty towards me 2. He eventually thought me best suitable out of the proposals he received for marriage and as he knew that I loved him might have thought me to be submissive to him and follow him blindly for whatever he says.

To me most probable reasons for him proposing me 1. he felt guilty towards me 2. He eventually thought me best suitable out of the proposals he received for marriage and as he knew that I loved him might have thought me to be submissive to him and follow him blindly for whatever he says.

8Mind Reading

For the past couple of months, the relationship with my mother has started to fall apart, due to a lie I told back in February , which I took full responsibility for and I am aware that hiding my depression from her and the fact that I was seeing a physiologist without her knowing was not okay, but I felt as if she wouldn’t understand, because she’s always told me I make a big deal out of everything and that I want to make it seem like I’m a victim when I cry, so I was ashamed to tell her and face her criticism. As of lately I have returned with my ex boyfriend, we separated previously about a month ago because I wanted time to focus on myself and When we argued it was very hard on me because I was at a vulnerable stage, Due to me being sensitive my mother would see me cry and she would immediately assume that my boyfriend was at fault, she assumes it was because of him that I fell depressed and she assumed that because of him I chose to take a break from school to better my mental health. Now that I am back with him, she blames me every single day for choosing to ruin my life, she blames me for causing her pain and she blames me for my family falling apart. It’s gotten to the point where I’m scared to go home due to the criticism I’ll have to face from her. She bases her opinions of my boyfriend based on some text messages she read, because she literally stole my phone and figured out my password, she crossed the line and invaded my privacy. She is now making me choose between my boyfriend or them, and honestly if she thinks that my boyfriend is the one hurting me she is very wrong, I love her very dearly but now the only one causing me pain when I’m already feeling helpless is her. The other day she even ran away from my house for a straight two hours making me worry, and when she came back she threatened me and my 14 year old sister saying she was going to leave us because she’s tired of living in this stupid country with two daughters who are a disappointment who use her and don’t appreciate her (AND THAT IS NOT TRUE)

She is now making me choose between my boyfriend or them, and honestly if she thinks that my boyfriend is the one hurting me she is very wrong, I love her very dearly but now the only one causing me pain when I’m already feeling helpless is her.

8Mind Reading

I have held on to feelings for my best friend in elementary school for years now. She was the only one to comfort me when I was feeling down, which was often. It evolved into a crush. But she had to move to Georgia in the fourth grade. I never truly got over it. I believed that I loved her but never got to tell her. She had called me before once, but I never got the number and still never got to tell her how I felt. She was the only one I loved ever since and never had a girlfriend relationship. I believed that it would be unfair for the other person if I can’t love them how they may love me because I’m still hoping that she will come back into my life. I am 20 years old and I know I should move on, but I don’t know how. Every time I thought I have moved on I remember her and it almost moves me to tears.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My husband always needed advise about everything including our relationship from people that he did not know personally but via third person and would talk over the phone. His family and elder brother lived in India. He always showed them that he was not happy but would be different when he was with me. He never worked during our less than a year marriage due to his immigrant status. He was verbally abusive and tried to control everything.

He was verbally abusive and tried to control everything.

7Overgeneralization

My husband and I have been together 11 years. I started to write this letter because we can’t agree on moving into a new house. As I began writing I realized it is about much more than whether we move or not. My husband cannot handle change. No matter the situation, he gets completely overwhelmed, starts thinking about the worst possible outcome, and stresses himself out.

No matter the situation, he gets completely overwhelmed, starts thinking about the worst possible outcome, and stresses himself out.

1Emotional Reasoning

My daughter (age 22) was recently diagnosed as bipolar. She had a major panic attack and was hospitalized for 2 weeks, which was very traumatic. After her release, she stayed on her meds and went to sessions with a therapist for a few weeks, but recently stopped taking all meds, and refuses to see her therapist. She seemed ok for a little while, but is not showing signs of mania again. If I say anything about seeking treatment, she accuses me of not understanding her and what is happening to her. She is very paranoid and worries about her safety all the time. I need to know how to talk to her and what to do to get her into treatment. Any suggestions?? thanks

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: I was laying flat on my back, eyes closed, and all of a sudden as I’m trying to fall asleep, I start feeling heavier and heavier, like my body is suddenly gaining mass and pressing me into the mattress. I start shaking, and my heartbeat is going crazy. The next thing I know, I’m seeing things. Like, dreaming, but not. I can still feel my body, and I’m not all the way asleep, and I can kind of see shapes and impressions of things but it’s all made up of black. There’s no color to it. It all feels very real, and all of a sudden, as I’m trying to pick up a box in this not-dream, I can’t lift it. It isn’t that the box is heavy, it’s that my arms just won’t lift! I can just feel my heart going faster and faster, and my entire body is almost buzzing. I open my eyes, shaking, and my arms feel like they’ve been straining at something for hours. I have to roll over and curl up against the wall because my body is still freaking out. The entire thing lasted about half an hour. What the heck just happened to me?? All I know is that my arms and shoulders are still tensed an hour later (not like constantly, but I definitely feel like they’re still trying to tense all the time), and my heart is still not back to normal yet.

2No Distortion

I never developed social skills growing up. I cannot and have never been able to maintain eye contact. I’ve never been able to understand the unwritten ‘social rules’ that other people just seem to know. I had never once that about body language or how to tell if someone liked me or didn’t like me at all and was just being nice. I’m always unsure how to behave in different social situations, and worry about getting things wrong.

I never developed social skills growing up. I cannot and have never been able to maintain eye contact. I’ve never been able to understand the unwritten ‘social rules’ that other people just seem to know.

6Should statements

I just found out today that a close friend of mine was raped last year. I only learned this from my best friend whom she told but I don’t want to ruin their friendship. I want to see this bastard who did it behind bars and want to report what happened but I’m scared there’s not enough evidence to convict or even find the guy. I love her like family and I’m enraged about this issue, what do I do? Report it with a chance of failure and her hating me? Or not say anything and let it fade away.

I want to see this bastard who did it behind bars and want to report what happened but I’m scared there’s not enough evidence to convict or even find the guy.

4Fortune-telling

My daughter has been in a volatile marriage for about 10 years. there is verbal and emotional abuse from each of them (husband and wife) and little we can do to intervene. she is extremely volatile and angry over her life and lashing out at anyone who offends her including me and other family members. we have always been very close as a family so this kind of behavior is not the norm. we have had issues in the past, but this is intensified as I believe she is reflecting on her life–I believe she is reviewing and trying to figure out how she ended up in the situation she is in and she wants to blame everyone else. I am very worried for her because her anger and attacking of us and others is escalating to the point that she is unreasonable and cannot be reached and is shutting all of us out. things are so blown out of proportion and she is completely unreasonable and so angry that she is saying hateful and horrible things mostly through texts saying she is done with all of us.. she goes on and on relentlessly attacking us and anyone who disagrees with her.. she has a victim mentality where everyone else is alienating her, not caring for her, abusing her, etc. I am beyond heartbroken. this description is oversimplified in light of trying to give the picture and be brief.

we have had issues in the past, but this is intensified as I believe she is reflecting on her life–I believe she is reviewing and trying to figure out how she ended up in the situation she is in and she wants to blame everyone else.

8Mind Reading

The therapist prescribed me anti-depressants but im not depressed,maybe can get anxious but not anything new or bad for the most part. Now my problem is that I keep getting these episodes where I all of a sudden start not making sense and saying things like how can I walk to the sun or why is the lady stomping on ants like that when it was just a video of someone dancing. and i start like jumping around .yesterday i even sat in the fridge and started making strange sounds like an animal.I also will repeat the words shut up in a different voice.Its like this big rush I cant describe it.I sometimes get paranoid im being watched like through the computer screen or I CAN call some magical numbers in a foreign country. I make a pretty blank expression on my face. one common thread is i will always stare in the mirror and begin giving this weird creepy smile. another example was this photo of some dead guy that I laughed at for ten minutes straight and i was callin g him a loser.Sometimes i see things moving at the corner of my eye and hear my name being called.what the fuck is this.Can you guys just give a guess to what it could be. I dont think its just anxiety tbh.I dont feel anxious for the most part.I also notice I pace around a lot and many people sometimes find what i say bizzare at times. I dont think the therapist or psychologist will take this seriously anyway. one time i even was sitting on the couch and started thinking someone from across the street had a sniper so i closed the curtains. Im so worn out i feel embarressed. I know my behaviour is somewhat bizarre but i cant control it tbh and in the moment of being paranoid about those things i truly believe those strange thoughts.To me at times they seem vary real. like yesterday for example I felt like I was being taken over my mind and then it happened,the bizarre behavior started up.

I dont think the therapist or psychologist will take this seriously anyway. like yesterday for example I felt like I was being taken over my mind and then it happened,the bizarre behavior started up.

8Mind Reading

My father has always had issues with drugs, drinking, and anger issues. All three together are just toxic. He is fine, fine, fine – for weeks/months – then will decide he doesn’t need his meds (for his anger problems) and go off them. Within a day, he is a raging lunatic. Screaming, yelling, hitting my mother, breaking doors, snapping his cell phone in half, kicking the dogs. Recently he started cheating on my mother as well, he keeps denying it even though he has been caught. He is driving while extremely drunk, ignoring all calls, and coming home from work 5-6 hours late.

2No Distortion

I get so anxious and nervous that it’s hard for me to make friendships. And it’s hard for me to keep friendships. I can’t give presentations in school. I just want my last years of high school to be fun, I want to be able to get through the day without feeling like I’m alone or made a mistake. I want to stop being anxious and feel normal. I feel like I cut myself off from other people because of my fear of rejection and my anxiety. I want it to stop.

I feel like I cut myself off from other people because of my fear of rejection and my anxiety.

5Personalization

Hey, here is the thing. I don’t know what is happening to me. It’s like I can’t feel anything, I’m not happy nor sad; like I’m stuck in something and I don’t know how to get out. I want people to be there for me, yet at the same time I really want to be alone. But I don’t want to feel alone, and that is how I feel, even when I’m with friends or family. No one understands me, and I can’t explain because God knows how they will react.

No one understands me, and I can’t explain because God knows how they will react.

8Mind Reading

From the U.S.: My husband has jealousy issues because of his past wife (20 years ago). (My first husband died of cancer within two months of diagnoses). He is not violent, but today when I let the dogs out, he said I think you are letting someone in.

2No Distortion

I was wondering if mild paranoia is a common characteristic of depressive disorders? I was diagnosed with depression and I’m taking an SSRI for it, which has helped quite a bit, although I wouldn’t say that I’m “cured.” I also had some pretty severe hypochondria-related anxiety that started about nine months ago and lasted for about three months. The anxiety is no longer problematic–I still have hypochondriacal thoughts occasionally, but I can manage them and I know that they’re irrational and part of my depression.

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: I sometimes only do my homework the day before it’s due, even if I am given enough time to do it. Other times I just don’t do them and am always on my phone instead. I am curious as to why I am behaving this way. It has affected my grades and I’m not sure what to do.

2No Distortion

Psychologically, is it okay to make someone feel guilty? Why does a person do such a thing to others? What kind of impact does this have on the other person experiencing this guilt being placed on her in the long run? I am curious to know your answer with respect to her personality, given she is living and growing up in such an atmosphere?

2No Distortion

I have a very hard time explaining things so Im going to keep this short. I have a lot of problems with me as a person and every time I think about my problem I just get this sinking feeling then I get angry and just sometimes I hit myself like punch my head. I have social anxiety, suicidal depression, ADHD, and Im pretty sure I have dyslexia as I have a very hard time forcing myself to read things. I started hating myself since 1 year ago and it just keeps getting worse. I’ve been in home hospital since the start of 9th grade because I could never focus in class because of my social anxiety and ADHD, its been helping but not enough and none of my parents are helpful since they cant relate. I dont know who to go to so Im going to try to find help here.

I started hating myself since 1 year ago and it just keeps getting worse.

9Mental filter

I’m in a long term relationship, over 10 years, with my partner. We are a lesbian couple. From the begining of our relationship she has been telling me that she would be a bad partner. I always refused this. She is a wonderfull partner and I love her dearly. I also feel that she does. We do have some difficulties but usually are able to talk it through. Now, she has a loss of desire for me. Our sex life is almost inexistant.

We do have some difficulties but usually are able to talk it through. Now, she has a loss of desire for me. Our sex life is almost inexistant.

0All-or-nothing thinking

From a teen in India: My mom has not been getting along with my dad for some time now. Its making the entire environment of the house very intense. Its like sitting on a time bomb and trying to get it to explode. My mom, she’s very career oriented and we all support that through whatever she needs,

Its like sitting on a time bomb and trying to get it to explode.

3Magnification

its very hard to explain how I feel, I cant really explain my emotions at all, being in a relationship is hard because I feel like I cant talk about what im feeling in a way that I think will make sense to other people. I tend to feel like im somehow not in control of my thoughts at all, its one thought after another sometimes with no connection at all I doubt myself so much, ill constantly think that what I feel is wrong and I shouldn’t even feel or think the way I do but I cant stop it. I sometimes feel like im not myself or sometimes ill catch myself feeling more “awake” or “aware” sometimes I feel like I see myself in a different perspective almost as if I was not even in control of myself or even was myself. I cant hold a job because I have extremely bad anxiety. I kind of feel like im going crazy for feeling or thinking the way I do. I just want to know if I need to seek help maybe this is normal and everybody else feels like this?

I tend to feel like im somehow not in control of my thoughts at all, its one thought after another sometimes with no connection at all I doubt myself so much, ill constantly think that what I feel is wrong and I shouldn’t even feel or think the way I do but I cant stop it. I cant hold a job because I have extremely bad anxiety.

6Should statements

Okay, to give a little backstory when I was 10 until 12 years old I had a friend who was three years older than me of the same gender and when I was at their house they would kiss me and touch me in ways I really did not like, she would also get me to take off my clothes. She would also bully me and exclude me in class. She would also tell me that I was a lesbian and another boy would also tell me this as well. It really hasn’t had much of an effect of me (I haven’t talked to any adult about it) but I have come to the conclusion now that I’m gay, but I don’t know if I just think I am because of this and it’s just my reaction to it or if I actually am. I know only I can know for definitely but from a professional’s point of view is it possible that I just think I am?

2No Distortion

Hi there, I have a question regarding to my mom and why she appears to hate me in comparison to my brother and sister. I’m the oldest, my brother is the middle child and my sister is the youngest. My brother, my parents seemed to have focused majority of their attention on him which honestly wasn’t a big deal to me, but my sister who has caused so much grief on my mom even calling her the c-word and run in with the law and being physically violent with her still is treated with so much more respect than me. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I was a child of obedience, good grades, never swore, just desperately wanted to please my parents to no end, you get the picture. When I was a teenager she was physically and emotionally abusive with me, she went through a bad divorce with my dad and the death of her mother and sister so she did take it out on us, more so me and dealing with bulimia.  My mom does depend on me now for rides to work because she lost her license and does have type 1 diabetes so I’m the one responsible for her even though I want to move out and begin my life with my 7 year boyfriend. My mom doesn’t approve of us living together so I am afraid she will end our mother daughter relationship because she’s threatened it before. To this day she treats me horribly compared to my brother and sister even though I try hard not to start fights with her, I’m very quiet and passive which I guess she hates? And she walks all over me if my sister refuses to do something for my mom. Whenever I have tried to tell her how I feel she manipulates me into thinking something is wrong with me, she also seems to have a narcissistic personality problem but I’m not going to diagnose her. How can I begin my life without starting a war. An example that happened is that I expressed excitement over my future home that I offered that she can help decorate, she refused and said if I moved out she would never come over or talk to me but when my brother expressed wanting to move out she offered to pay his rent. Please help. (age 25, from Canada)

My mom doesn’t approve of us living together so I am afraid she will end our mother daughter relationship because she’s threatened it before. To this day she treats me horribly compared to my brother and sister even though I try hard not to start fights with her, I’m very quiet and passive which I guess she hates?

8Mind Reading

From the U.S.: I have a insecurity problem concerning not being supported by my family especially when I am verbally attached by someone….let me give you the last example. I and my sister are caretakers of our 94 y/o Mother and of course it is stressful. I vented about one incident on FB (it really wasn’t that bad and I deleted it). One of the family members came in and called me a “Fing idiot”.

2No Distortion

I hope I’m just a perfectionist, but sometimes I feel like my behavior is too bizarre. I like order, routine, and organization, but I am not sure if I’m going too far with this. If fail anything I gave effort to I will not except it. I will beat myself up over it until I get it. One very unhealthy example of this would be my eating behavior. I want the perfect body and I don’t care how much mental exhaustion I have to deal with to get it. I fast for days and I refuse to eat foods that I deem as “bad”. If I do end up breaking this, which happens during breaks or family reunion dinners, I make up by extreme dieting next few days. Another example would be in school. I will study until I can no longer see words clearly on the paper or the screen, which some people might think is a good habit, so I am not exactly sure about this particular case. Another thing my friend thought was weird about a specific habit I have is washing my hands for exactly 30 seconds. I read about it somewhere that it takes 30 seconds for germs to actually come off, so again I’m not sure if not is actually abnormal. I just feel like people tell me my behavior is abnormal but I just think they’re exaggerating, because most people want to meet the average expectations. But I also do understand that many people close to me point out my obsessions in a negative way so I am just wondering if I am the one not seeing clearly or is everyone else in my life average achievers (sorry I don’t know any other term to use). One other mental process I want to point out about myself is that I see behavior in black and white terms. What I mean by this is that you’re either “perfect” or a “failure”. Clean or dirty. I don’t see topics such as politics in black and white, but behavior and characteristics that describe humans.

One other mental process I want to point out about myself is that I see behavior in black and white terms. What I mean by this is that you’re either “perfect” or a “failure”.

0All-or-nothing thinking

All my life I’ve been the outcast and honestly I prefer it that way. But I quickly realised that I’m different. I don’t really feel much. I don’t feel guilty or sorry for people and I knew it wasn’t normal for a boy at the age of 7 to be obsessed with murder and crime and killers. I knew I had to adapt and not draw attention to myself. So I created what you could say an act, a fake person. A role I had to commit to in order to seem as though I conformed, that I fit in. However, as i got older, I began to become cold and bitter but had to hide it. I wouldn’t say I’m a psychopath or anything of the sorts. I do share some similar attributes, for example I’m good at manipulating people, I’m smarter than average and I suppose in some senses i am fairly narcissistic though it pains me to say. I also like to consider that the person I am around people is confident and charismatic. All of this I have become accustom to. It is day to day life for me now. But as I come close to completing school, I realise that I’m drawn to death. The idea of killing someone is about the only thing that interests me and even for me that is worrying. The last thing I want to do is act upon such urges and find myself in prison for the rest of my life. I know this isn’t normal behaviour for any normal, functioning person but this is a last resort I suppose to really see if there is anything I can do before its too late. (From England)

I know this isn’t normal behaviour for any normal, functioning person but this is a last resort I suppose to really see if there is anything I can do before its too late.

6Should statements

So my parents have 50/50 custody, the past year i was kicked out living my aunt because my parents didn’t want to deal with me . Anyways now i want to live with my dad but my mom wants me to live with her. 1. I do not get along with my mom, there’s never a moment where we do not fight and she lives in a tiny one-bedroom apartment and i would have to sleep on the floor. At my dad’s , i want to live there but my stepmom is telling my dad i can’t ?? I have a room there and everything, she says because she doesn’t trust me and she doesn’t feel safe around me when she’s literally thrown stuff at my head, called the cops on me and everything. Living with my dad may be sucky but it’s a hell of a lot better than sleeping on the floor. What do i do if my dad refuses to let me live with him even though i’m still a minor.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: I stopped loving my daughter. I usually live alone with her thousands of miles from my family and her father, and my whole life is devoted to her, who is just turning ten years old. I am a bipolar2 and a borderline 50 years old woman. I struggle being a mother with mental health issues. Now she’s in europe, visiting my family and her father, and I don’t want her back. Suddenly, in the past three weeks, I stop having any feeling whatsoever for her. I even try to picture her in pain, or crying, to see if it would stir any emotion in me, but instead I feel nothing, like I have never loved her. I’m in a panic, she’s due back in a month and I just can’t face her, I’m scared I would make her life miserable if she was to come back to me

I’m in a panic, she’s due back in a month and I just can’t face her, I’m scared I would make her life miserable if she was to come back to me

1Emotional Reasoning

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I am surprised at what I see. I recognize the reflection. I have seen the reflection countless times, but I do not recognize it as ME. It’s like something foreign. I used to be able to identify with it, but it has become increasingly difficult to do so. This is problem number 1.

2No Distortion

I have been picking at my skin since I was around 8. I’m 20 now and the bottoms of my feet are hard and calloused and I reguarly peel skin off them until they bleed, making it hard to walk. I struggle with depression and anxiety and I was wondering it this behavior is tied to those? I want to stop. But I don’t know how. Does this count as self harm? I have cut and burned before but I haven’t dont that since I was 18.

2No Distortion

I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now and everything started out fine but these last few months I have started noticing a pattern. He has told me absolutely CRAZY stories about himself, for example he is in the mafia, he is really sick with internal bleeding, he has broken ribs because he went to Russia to deal with the mafia, when he was in Russia fighting in a boxing tournament the mafia captured him and turned him into a soldier where he is basically indestructible now, that he had surgery for the internal bleeding, and random people I have never heard of are texting me from his phone (when I really just think its him)but he always seems to remind me to not tell anyone anything! And he told me that he is training with this guy named Ray Trakay and sent me a picture of him and I found the picture of the guy on the internet and it was Ray Lewis (which he happened to have a Ray Lewis app on his Iphone).

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: hello i have a 2 year old son and 5 year old stepson that are brothers. The 5 year old stepson humiliates the 2 year old son by calling him a brat and saying his brother dies. The 5 year old stepson tells the 2 year old son that his toys are worse and uglier than his own toys.

2No Distortion

From South Africa: Hello. My fiance’s mother passed away last year from cancer, so we took his 8 year old brother into foster care. At first it was fine, but we are having problems with him lying a lot. He says he lies because he does not want to get into trouble, although we have explained many times that he will be in bigger trouble if he lies. He recently started swearing at the older kids at school, when I asked about it he lied about the words he used and who he said it to.

2No Distortion

i am 22 and the type of guy i am is quite complicated and dark… i live for my love and surround myself with only her existance, one could say i am obbsessed with her… i moved to a new city for her and began a new life… no family or friends. my problem is that the last few days have been heavy, on me and her. its difficult to say why or how but i feel ugly… not like how i used to feel… she made me feel so special. now she doesnt talk to me that much and finds the time to talk to who she claims is only a friend… my problem is she tells me she would love me forever and be with me forever… even when times are hard. what can i do to make her miss me and want to talk to me again.i am going to buy her a rose today and go over there tonight… god i am so stressed to the point of suicide. how can one person just move on without you… where does that leave me… alone. i just moved away from everything i know

god i am so stressed to the point of suicide.

3Magnification

From a teen in the U.S.: Hey. I feel guilty. I thought I got over events that happened a while ago, but the problems have reemerged recently. I’ve been really sick for the past couple of months, but even as I get physically better, I still feel out of energy to accomplish anything mentally. Nothing interests me anymore like when I was younger.

I feel guilty. I thought I got over events that happened a while ago, but the problems have reemerged recently.

5Personalization

There have been other questions on here like this but they all had different stories. I’m 15 and I don’t know why but I want to feel sad, I want to feel depressed. I have no idea why. Other sites have said its for me to pity myself, but I hate doing that. I just want to sit on my bed and cry over nothing sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? I always tell myself “you just want to have attention” but I’m not that kind of person. I hate it when people talk to me, and ask me questions, and basically give me any attention. And I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time find a source that helps me understand what is wrong with me. Most of the sights say “the person may want attention” or “they are trying to have pity for yourself.” Again, like I said, I’m not that kind of person. Sometimes I even try to think of sad things, or I act sad when I’m alone, it’s not even around people. Which I do not understand why I do that. I mean, my life isn’t perfect, my mom is not supportive and is barley a parent. And I make that my excuse for myself to be sad. I don’t know what else to say, I don’t know why I want to be sad, or why I act the way I do. I just want to know what is wrong with me.

I’m 15 and I don’t know why but I want to feel sad, I want to feel depressed. I have no idea why. Other sites have said its for me to pity myself, but I hate doing that. I just want to sit on my bed and cry over nothing sometimes. Is there something wrong with me? I always tell myself “you just want to have attention” but I’m not that kind of person. I hate it when people talk to me, and ask me questions, and basically give me any attention. And I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time find a source that helps me understand what is wrong with me. I mean, my life isn’t perfect, my mom is not supportive and is barley a parent. And I make that my excuse for myself to be sad. I don’t know what else to say, I don’t know why I want to be sad, or why I act the way I do. I just want to know what is wrong with me.

10Labeling

I am fourteen years old. I’ve been experiencing severe depressive symptoms with terrible suicidal thoughts for weeks now. I have also been experiencing all symptoms of social anxiety since grade five. I can’t stand it. There are many different physical and mental tasks i must repeat in order to ensure the safety of me and others. I seem to always have the urge to break something or kill someone. I overeat way too much. I eat when I’m not hungry. I have gained fifty pounds in the last year. My academic performance is suffering. Suicide seems like the best option now. I’ll be starting my plan soon. I feel so trapped!

I seem to always have the urge to break something or kill someone. I overeat way too much. I eat when I’m not hungry. I have gained fifty pounds in the last year. My academic performance is suffering. Suicide seems like the best option now.

3Magnification

Hello, We got married 4 months ago. My husband is currently living in another country but will come home soon (few months). We have always lived in different countries but we know each other from childhood. He emails me every day an average of 5 times per day and with lots of love words (sometimes even more times, unless he has something important to do…then he won’t email me for hours). Even though it is not common, it bothers me when it happens because I always find a time to email him when I am busy (he can’t even say “I love you”). I do not think it is that much time consuming. The most he has taken to email me has been about 10 hours.

2No Distortion

…and spanked for punishment. Why do I have this innate need to be dominated by my husband? I recently asked him to spank me as punishment when I disrespect him by fighting with him or raising my voice to him and there are a few other rules we set when I asked him for this. My parents did not have a relationship like this it is just something I have felt and needed within myself since I married my husband. After he spanks me there is no sex – it is strictly a discipline session and then we just move on. So i don’t believe i would call it a fetish so to speak.

2No Distortion

From India: hello sir/mam, I am an engineering student, it all started from diploma final year, now I have completed my diploma. I was a very funny and enjoying person, I studied very well and scored good marks. When I was in the last year of diploma, that is in 6th sem, I failed in a subject due to overconfidence, and then after everything changed, my one year was wasted and I couldn’t join engineering, in this one year I kept on thinking of my year back, I was depressed all the time, feeling lonely.

When I was in the last year of diploma, that is in 6th sem, I failed in a subject due to overconfidence, and then after everything changed, my one year was wasted and I couldn’t join engineering, in this one year I kept on thinking of my year back, I was depressed all the time, feeling lonely.

0All-or-nothing thinking

From a young woman in Nigeria: My parents got separated when I was 11. And for some strange reason there was a lot of pressure on me to fix the situation from pretty much everyone minus my dad (saying that we were really close and he would listen to me). Due to the situation, I really didn’t come to terms with the situation and didn’t deal with it well, most of my time spent in boarding school was spent crying and I did go through a period of cutting(self-harm). Basically I didn’t know who to talk to about what I was dealing with and I’ve pretty much kept my feelings to myself till now.

Due to the situation, I really didn’t come to terms with the situation and didn’t deal with it well, most of my time spent in boarding school was spent crying and I did go through a period of cutting(self-harm).

9Mental filter

I have a boyfriend. There’s some problem going on so we had to go on separate ways. We’re breaking up next week and we want to end everything as clean as possible. We we’re talking about it one afternoon when all of a sudden he told me he wanted to say something important to me on the day we’ll break up. I asked him why can’t he say it now and he said I might get mad at him. I insisted and he suddenly blurted out, “I still love her” (referring to the girl he was courting before me). He said it in a serious face and all I could say was “really?”. All of a sudden his expression changed and he said it was only a joke. He said he only wanted me to get mad at him and that he really loves me and no one else. I don’t know if I should just consider it as a joke for I have my own suspicions myself. I don’t know if dreams are really that accurate but it’s actually bugging me lately. There was a time I dreamt of a girl my boyfriend was really close with and he was cheating on me. After a few days, I asked him, if he hadn’t met me, who would he court. His answer was that particular girl i just dreamt about. Then just last week, I had another dream that he was again, cheating on me. I dreamt that he was texting his “ex-crush” while I pretend to be sleeping. Then after a few days, he told me that “not so nice” joke.

2No Distortion

Sometimes my boyfriend will say something small that might irritate me, but I don’t say anything. I just let our conversation continue until he notices that my voice sounds a bit irritated or upset. Then when he asks what’s wrong I just tell him why I’m upset. When he says “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” I still feel irritated and upset like nothing has changed, like he didn’t apologize. He continues to apologize and when I still feel upset I just keep saying “okay” in a calm tone to everything he says. It’s almost like I can’t get out of a negative mindset when he makes me upset. We’re in a long distance relationship so maybe there’s just stress there because of the distance, but I’m worried it might be something more. I don’t get like this with other people. When I get angry at one of my siblings I express it differently. I will argue with them normally, not stay calm and act sarcastic. Is there something wrong with me? Or our relationship? I had anxiety last year due to a big move to a new city for college, but these feelings/reactions didn’t appear until maybe a few months ago. Sometimes this happens 4 or 5 days a week when we skype or call on the phone. Sometimes it happens more because it’s tiny little things that could make me act like this. I just shut my brain off, let him talk, and barely say anything. When we hang up I don’t even want to say “I love you” even if he has apologized multiple times. What’s wrong with me? Please help :(

He continues to apologize and when I still feel upset I just keep saying “okay” in a calm tone to everything he says. It’s almost like I can’t get out of a negative mindset when he makes me upset.

3Magnification

Several weeks ago, my wife said that I was sexually insatiable, that at my age, most males are not as sexually active as me. We have been married for over 18 years and our sex lives are, in my opinion, quite good and healthy. She claims that I need to talk with some guys my own age and find out how often they have sex. I contend that I don’t really care about other guys sex lives, and that I focus on my own. Secondly, because I work with some very attractive women, both young and mature, that continues to wet my appetite and that I need help in the sex department. I also mention to her that when I have a great sexual partner, that’s enough for me. She doesn’t care for anal sex and is not overly thrilled with oral. Receiving she likes but giving, please see anal sex comment. Much of our sex is in the bed and at night. When I suggest something new it is not met with approval. I think basically it comes down to this: she says that I am not satisfied even though we have very good sex. Adventuresome sex is out of the question and so is morning and afternoon sex, whether I suggest oral sex or regular bedroom sex. I think she is a wonderful sexual partner and a tremendous wife. But I think there should be more in the adventuresome area as well as positions, time of day, and varieties.

2No Distortion

I have been taking paroxetine oral suspension for a month now after being diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. I started from a very low dose of 1 mg and then augmented by 1 mg every two days, so that now I’m taking 13 mg daily. As far as cons go, I have experienced a significant emotional bluntness, some nausea, and until recently an augmented feeling of drowsiness during most of the day. As for the pros, I’m a little less angry (and a bit more sad) and I’ve had less trouble getting asleep (but I sleep more, too much probably).

2No Distortion

My Fiancé changes when we are around his family. He isn’t very nice to me, and he talks to me like I am “stupid.” He just does not give me the time of day. He won’t look at me when he tells me a story, I find out WAY more when he is talking to his mom about what he did this week, and when I ask, he barely says anything. His attitude is very negative towards me. I don’t understand why he is doing this. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he says “I don’t know what you are talking about” — I will try to give him an example of something he said that isn’t nice, and he will just shrug his shoulders and says, I don’t know. I think that since we are going to be a family in about 7 days, I should be able to talk to him wherever we are, and he treats me with the same respect he does when we are at home. I don’t understand. Please help. I don’t know how to talk to him (which he is VERY stubborn) and no matter how i bring up a subject, he will immediately get defensive and he will shut down. it is hard. I just need ways to communicate effectively, and help him understand he needs to respect me no matter who is around…including his best friend who he follows like a puppy…. ah!

He isn’t very nice to me, and he talks to me like I am “stupid.”

8Mind Reading

From a young woman in Portugal: I have been suffering from obsessive fears for 7 years now, however for one year I have developed an obsession about having anxiety during a special moment where I am supposed to be happy. Before a special exciting moment happens I get the thought of anxiety and immediately start panicking and dwelling on the thought, which in turn makes it worse.

I have been suffering from obsessive fears for 7 years now, however for one year I have developed an obsession about having anxiety during a special moment where I am supposed to be happy.

6Should statements

From a woman in the U.S.:  I have a friend who has autism just like I do. At first we had a lot in common when we first met. As the short two years go by, I’ve learned we really don’t have a lot in common besides video games, anime and plush toys. Our values and beliefs differ from each other. She prefers family while I choose independence.

I have a friend who has autism just like I do. At first we had a lot in common when we first met. As the short two years go by, I’ve learned we really don’t have a lot in common besides video games, anime and plush toys. Our values and beliefs differ from each other. She prefers family while I choose independence.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I am dating a man from another country, we are “engaged”, we have known each other for a few months now. He asked me to marry him on the 8th of Jan,09. I have been married before and so has he. He is now divorced. I am just starting my divorce proceedings, after being estranged for about 2yrs from my ex, and it should be final soon. My ex was also a foreigner and he tried to misuse me after marriage for status in the country but he didn’t really love me. Now, Im with my new beau and I like him very much but in the beginning, when we were just friends,he was saying that he needed to marry someone to stay in the country but he was saying that he wanted to marry someone for love and someone he can settle down with and not someone that he will be with until he gets naturalized and then be divorced from.

2No Distortion

From a 19-year-old woman in the U.S.: I am experiencing a number of problems, I have never seen a psychologist, and I would like to receive some input as to the nature of my state: I have had voices inside of my head for quite a time now. Note: These are not external voices. They are simply internal voices that feel separate from my own thoughts. This is what confuses me, what is the difference between internal and external voices? I do not feel that I have control over them, and in fact, often they take control over me. There are three thus far:

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: I’ve been feeling what I believe to be depressed lately. The feeling I get isn’t new or anything just it’s been a reoccurring issue. I have issues with my mother where I find myself feeling unloved and even more depressed. I’ve recently tried opening up but I’m not sure if it was a good choice or not I wonder if the reason I stopped talking was because i didn’t want to continue or because i genuinely felt like a bother.

I’ve recently tried opening up but I’m not sure if it was a good choice or not I wonder if the reason I stopped talking was because i didn’t want to continue or because i genuinely felt like a bother.

5Personalization

From a teen in the U.S.: Hi, sorry to be a bother, but I have been having some really disturbing dreams recently. As a little background I grew up in a normal, loving family, I attend exercise classes twice a week, and I journal regularly, so I feel like mentally I should be in a pretty good place. But I have these dreams where I do really disturbing things, I will describe a few of them here. In one I was having sex with the dead body of the girl I have a crush on (I am an in the closet lesbian- idk if that is important), in another I was having sex with a young child in a school bathroom. I do not have any, um, desire to be with corpses or children, but I wake up from these dreams feeling aroused. I would never, ever consider doing anything like that in real life, but is this something I should be concerned about?

2No Distortion

From the U.K.: I don’t know if I love my husband anymore. I feel like I’m just here for the kids. Married 11 years, 4 children. We don’t talk anymore proper just about day to day things. No kissing or hugging. Hardly any sex. Only if I have to. Don’t really want him near. Big problem is I am from another country in Europe and want to move back but he doesn’t seem to even that he always says he does. And now with the Brexit another strain on the marriage.

2No Distortion

From England: I am the youngest out of 2 sisters and 3 brothers. I have always supported my family members and been there for them whether when my sister went through depression when she lost her job or when my brother became a drug addict. I help each and one of them on their weddings and spent at least £2000 in each wedding. I am now getting married [redacted] of August and I just realized that my dad is not coming, my sister is not coming, my brother is not coming and my second brother said he is coming and does not want to help in the wedding at all. My best man who I have known for 15 years has just told me he can’t come to my wedding because of his job even though I have been telling him to book his holiday from one year and he has been slacking off and maybe doesn’t want to come in person. All I have coming is my mum and sister. I don’t have a lot of friends. I cannot believe this is happening to me. I don’t know why is this happening. After each wedding, I get exhausted because I keep doing chores for 2 weeks for each of my family members and now when my turn comes, they keep giving me these stupid excuses. I am not a horrible person.

2No Distortion

My husband’s father committed murder/suicide less than a month into our marriage. His father lived in a different state. We flew my husband out the day that his father died and I followed the next day. I stayed there for about a week to help/mourn/be there but I had to return due to obligations with work and school. I did not want to leave and separating from my husband was very difficult so soon after our marriage and his father’s shocking death. My husband decided he wanted to stay longer because he is very worried about his sisters.

2No Distortion

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 years. When he is “on” it is great. We are able to talk about any subject and have lots of fun and what appears to be a deep connection – we talk about serious subjects, philosophies, growth, the meaning of life, etc. It’s very engaging. This goes on for a few months and then suddenly he turns “off.” One day I wake up and we are not connecting at the “normal” pace (i.e daily phone calls, a few texts, or plans for in person contact). The connection feels severed, there is an edge in his voice, and he is cold. I notice this, give it some space (2-3 days) and then intentionally and gently bring it up. Initially he is defensive but pretty quickly he will acknowledge that yes, he’s withdrawn and eventually some narrative will show up as a reason for the behavior – he felt I disrespected him (I was late returning a call), he felt I abandoned him (I had some trips and so I was out of town), he was nervous that I’d reject some of his behavior that he’d been hiding (he smokes occasionally), etc. The conversations come back on line and we talk about his feelings, needs, and better ways to communicate etc. He does have a therapist and I suggest he work on these issues with his therapist. Then everything goes back to normal until it cycles again.

2No Distortion

I get suicidal thoughts sometimes. I know I would never act on these and they aren’t usually that serious but they worry me. I think I might have depression. But not the hat bad. I do things slowly (which apparently is suppose doing to be a sign). And a few things (not that many) don’t give me the same amount of joy they used to. I often think I am a failure but sometime in am cocky. I also have a hard time sleeping. I have been in pushing away the fact that this might be depression because I feel that people fake it sometimes. Is this depression? And if so, should I go see someone about it.?

I often think I am a failure but sometime in am cocky.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I believe this is a symptom of some underlying issue, but I get extremely annoyed in cars when they have to make too many turns or go through too many curves. I will yell at my husband when he drives to find straighter routes. Other things to note that might help with a diagnosis is that I have a tendency to catastrophize. For example, I feel like my husband’s family does not like me. I will stew about it until I become worried that they are going to kill me and leave my body somewhere. Another example is I felt an old coworker was using me. Then I heard that they might move into the same building that I was currently in. I became paranoid that this coworker would come and start using me again. Also, I don’t know if this is relevant, but I always wear black business casual. I do not feel comfortable in anything else.

Other things to note that might help with a diagnosis is that I have a tendency to catastrophize. For example, I feel like my husband’s family does not like me. I will stew about it until I become worried that they are going to kill me and leave my body somewhere.

3Magnification

My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and have one child. We are very openminded and compatible sexually, though our sex life has been through some ups and downs as we have grown as people and experienced child birth and child rearing. The first few years of our relationship, we did some wild things sexually, such as public sex, group sex, voyeurism, etc. We both enjoyed ourselves and were equally involved and responsible for our actions. During and after the pregnancy and birth of our child, however, our sex life went through some drastic changes, and we found ourselves with some sexual issues to work through. One of these issues was my newfound disinterest in our old wild ways; motherhood had turned my viewpoint on it from fun to irresponsible. We have gotten over most of the awkwardness that made its way into our bed, but now we are presented with a somewhat „gray area‰ issue. Over the past year or so, my husband has been visiting sexual video chat sites and broadcasting himself in various sexual states, most of the time masturbating, in both public and private online communications. At first he did this secretly, until I found out in a very startling way; I investigated the website that kept appearing in our computer‚s browser history on my phone at work, and was shocked to find a live public video feed of my husband fully aroused. After some obvious conflict over the discovery, we discussed it, and he told me that he missed having our „wild sex life‰ and that this helps fulfill that need. He asked if I would participate, and I agreed in hopes of helping to satisfy his sexual mentality. We broadcast ourselves having sex online a few times, having up to 1000 people watch, which completely turned my husband on and completely turned me off. I decided I wasn‚t going to join him again due to the uneasy feeling it gave me which kept me from enjoying myself. Ever since, I have known in the back of my mind that he still does this, and have gotten up in the middle of the night a few times to find him masturbating and video chatting publicly or with females who are at least scantily clad, if not nude and masturbating themselves. When I confront him about it, he says he has a public sex fetish and needs to fulfill it, believing that it helps keep him „faithful‰ to me since I am no longer interested. (Something you should know about my husband; he is a popular musician and is often confronted with opportunities for sex at shows, but I am confident that he hasn‚t cheated on me). It is obviously a disturbing experience to get up and find him doing this, and although he is not physically cheating, I still feel hurt and disrespected on these occasions. I basically want an outsider‚s point of view on whether I should accept this as part of the man I fell in love with and married, reject it on the grounds of how I feel (although I have a hard time with the thought of leaving him over it), or if we should try to work out some sort of compromise. I would like to come up with some way where he can feel fulfilled and I can be a part of it, without making me uncomfortable, but haven’t been able to (not asking you to figure out what that would be for me, just mentioning it). Thank you very much for your time and help with this issue.

I decided I wasn‚t going to join him again due to the uneasy feeling it gave me which kept me from enjoying myself. Ever since, I have known in the back of my mind that he still does this. believing that it helps keep him „faithful‰ to me since I am no longer interested.

5Personalization

From a 14 year old girl in the U.S.: I’ve been distancing myself from everyone lately, I do it as some sort of defense mechanism I suppose. As a child my father abused me emotionally, lied compulsively and forced me to have trust issues. I’ve always felt alone in life, I’m an older child so my parents aren’t that attentive to me. When they are, I don’t like it. I feel like I shouldn’t have the attention.

I feel like I shouldn’t have the attention.

6Should statements

From a teenage girl in Phillippines: i am listing things that i experiences that i have trouble understanding. – i lie. i lie a lot and people believe me all the time, i always feel like the moment they knew me for who i am, they’ll leave me. sometimes i try to tell the truth and it always sounds like a lie. -i am currently in my senior year and my friends know me as a socially awkward person with claustrophobia. i don’t have claustrophobia but i enjoy the feeling of them taking extra care whenever we are at tight places. i am not socially awkward (i think so) because i have many friends and can befriend someone easily. -i tend to try to manipulate the people around me for no reason, i always ruin my relationships as soon as someone gets too close to me. -i once was sexually abused but my family said it’s not true and that all of it was just a dream. at night, i am troubled by those memories and am confused whether they are true or only a dream. -i want to be punished but not verbally. -my parents are on constant war and they hurt each other physically and sometimes i want them to die (this is wrong but i’m just telling the truth) -i get thoughts like wanting to hurt someone, torture and kill someone involuntarily, these thoughts grow stronger when i’m angry and i secretly start to think of the most painful way to kill someone, since i wont and cant do it, i hurt myself instead. -i have been wounding myself whenever i get urges to hurt someone. -i want to smoke so badly. i get urges to do a lot of wrong stuff and all day i would get these urges unless i give in to the craving, most of the time i just wound myself to stop the craving. -i always end up ruining things. -i want someone to know me for who i am but i don’t know how they’ll accept it. -i was bullied in my junior years and those memories sometimes comes back and i get panic attacks. -i cry at times for no reason. there is just too many thoughts in my mind that sometimes i get tired of it. -i want to die so badly, my family know i am wounding myself, they talk to me at times but i just dont know how to explain things to them. how can you explain something you dont understand?

lie a lot and people believe me all the time, i always feel like the moment they knew me for who i am, they’ll leave me. -i always end up ruining things. there is just too many thoughts in my mind that sometimes i get tired of it.

4Fortune-telling

From Canada: I got married a month ago and since the wedding, I keep thinking about the things that I didn’t plan properly. Biggest one being the guest list for the wedding. I decided not to invite some people because my fiance was only inviting his close friends but we had a huge wedding and enough room to fit more people especially since some guests didn’t even show up. I think I was also pressed for time and just didn’t bother inviting some people out of being lazy and wanting to cut down on my workload.

2No Distortion

My brother has been married 14 years and is considering divorce. He has been communicating with his wife about his feelings. She is a very jealous type of woman who has not allowed him to have female friends. He has two daughters ages 10 and 11 and recently the girls have been getting more involved questioning him about his female friendships. Recently he took both girls to a concert & his female friend came along. The youngest shared that she told her mom about the concert and mom said “She did not know” his friend would be there. The youngest then told her Dad that it is not right for him to be at a concert with his female friend and not her mom. Another time recently the oldest daughter called him to ask “Dad where are you and who are you with” … I don’t know if this is normal behavior for young girls but I am concerned that they are adopting these behaviors from their Mom. She also shares certain things with the girls (since the marriage is having problems) like “I didn’t know your Dad’s female friend would be there” for example. Is this something we should be concerned about? I worry the girls are being brought into their parents’ marriage issues and in the process are being taught to interrogate their Dad and worry about boundaries with him and friends.

She is a very jealous type of woman who has not allowed him to have female friends.

10Labeling

My brother is 15 years older to me and he has been really mean to me since I was a kid. I was emotionally and physically abused by him. Once he tried to kill me with a knife and other time he tried to beat me to death. In a normal day, I would have been humiliated by him regularly. He even broke my cat’s leg then my mom had to give the cat away and they lied to me about that. My parents never said him anything. Nobody to confront him. I went to therapy to get rid of this burden but recently something occurred and all my memories are back. I was hospitalized and he came to hospital to bring me home. He got tired of waiting so he decided to have dinner with his friends while I was alone at the hospital. Since my battery was dead I couldn’t call him and I had to go home alone. Not to mention my severe pain and suffering. When I came home, I called him to inform instead I was yelled at because I didn’t wait for him to come back from his dinner which took him so long. His yelling turned into threats, he said he will come to my door and beat me again so that I will regret to answer him back. I can’t digest this. How can someone be so senseless? My therapist said I should not have felt bad about this abnormal behavior because he clearly has mental issues. This doesn’t make me feel better. I am so furious and living with this anger for 6 months now. He is so proud not to apologize or anything. I am getting married soon, I don’t want to invite him. But that would have been awkward and upset the rest of the family members. I don’t know how to deal with this. Please help. (From Turkey)

But that would have been awkward and upset the rest of the family members.

8Mind Reading

My Sister has Stage 4 Lymphoma and throughout everything I have only been able to help her once. During the time that my vehicle was working I drove her around to help her with errands (depositing money from her benefit), taking her to pay bills, etc. She filled up my tank in exchange, but a month later my car’s transmission failed. She texted me recently and said “You need to step up”, I’m currently without a car, I have no sleeping schedule (it varies as my SO works nights), and I am experiencing signs of Agoraphobia. It is so intense that sometimes I pace between my front and back door trying to feel safe enough to go outside for a Cigarette. I don’t understand how to heal myself let alone be something better for my Sister. And It truly is heartbreaking. All my life my parents told me “You just gotta get over it”, but after 25 years of “getting over it” (just pushing it down inside), I was starting to be successful and find a job that I really enjoyed (because I was helping people) as a Pharmacy Technician. I worked at Humana as a Call center Tech., and I started hearing Voices. I knew they weren’t there, because I’d say “huh?” and my co-workers would tell me they didn’t say anything. It got to the point where I actually admitted to my boss that I have anxiety and it really affects me to the point where I panic to even go to work. I have quit so many jobs due to this.. and I have never lasted more than a year at any of them. My sister (the one with cancer) told me years ago that I needed professional help, and the minute I seek out for it, she tells me I am full of crap. I am basically wanting to know if any of this is justified, and I’m unsure of how to react of feel.. I am hurt, in a way I have already mourned her, and it’s hard for me to empathize with her when she’s treating me like this.. What do i do?

She texted me recently and said “You need to step up”, I’m currently without a car, I have no sleeping schedule (it varies as my SO works nights), and I am experiencing signs of Agoraphobia.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I’m a 14 year old girl and I have a problem with daydreaming all day. It’s all the time I laugh out loud because of my daydreaming whatever I’m feeling. For example If I am at the grocery store and I see a cute guy I would imagine I was his girlfriend and we had the perfect relationship, BUT if a another girl went to him I would get so upset and I would HAVE to leave the store because of that.

It’s all the time I laugh out loud because of my daydreaming whatever I’m feeling. For example If I am at the grocery store and I see a cute guy I would imagine I was his girlfriend and we had the perfect relationship, BUT if a another girl went to him I would get so upset and I would HAVE to leave the store because of that.

1Emotional Reasoning

I’m a 15 year old girl who has been attending CAMHS for several months now. I have told them a great deal and opened up fully to them. Along side going to CAMHS, I’ve done some research of my own. My therapist keeps saying that it’s anxiety that i have, when what ive seen relates, but seems more than that. I have been hearing voices which are almost indecipherable, and as time passes theyre getting easier and easier to understand. I’ve looked through several sites and compared and came up with some things based on the things mentioned repeatedly throughout the sites. What ive come up with is that it could be some type of schizoaffective disorder, or schizophrenia. In general I feel depersonalized most of the time, and over the years ive learned to just get on with it, and found ways to deal with it, but it seems to be getting worse. The treatment that my therapist is giving me is CBT, and to be honest, it helps a bit, but not nearly enough :/ Do you think this is anxiety, or am I completely wrong to think of schizoaffective disorder/schizophrenia?

In general I feel depersonalized most of the time, and over the years ive learned to just get on with it, and found ways to deal with it, but it seems to be getting worse.

1Emotional Reasoning

From the U.S.: My husband and I have been married for 4 years and we have a house together. We both work and are engineers. Unfortunately, due to economy, he lost his job and because of this he was involved in a gray area business. Now, he is about to be charged with a felony. His lawyer proposed that he should get a job as soon as possible before he gets charged. However, he can’t find a job where we currently live. Instead, he was able to find a job in his hometown in another state. Conveniently, the job is so close to his parents’ house. This is where I have a problem.

2No Distortion

Don’t know where to start so… I’m a 28-year-old male have no kids never been a relationship and don’t have a really have much else. Surprisingly though I’m actually very interested in psychology and can see people problems including my own, but still have I hard time continuing with my own life. Everything I seem to want or achieve in life just doesn’t happen from goals in life to the simplest whatever. Just doesn’t seem to work out for me. I don’t really have friends and I feel like the people I do have around me aren’t really there. One of two problems I come to discover is my mother. I come to realization that she’s a big problem to my mental health. She never really pushed me or ever been supportive anything I do. So, I’m not very affectionate or close to anyone. Another is I have a twin brother who I have nothing in common with so i unconsciously tried to be the opposite in any way I could. I have lost interest in continuing life if I can’t even think about something that just won’t happen and it just frustrating. I’m 28 never had a girlfriend, no job, still live with my parents and don’t really own anything. I thought about suicide since maybe my early 20’s. I’m really just done with life and feel like if my life is just failure after failure that I can’t even think of whatever it maybe then what’s the purpose.

I’m really just done with life and feel like if my life is just failure after failure that I can’t even think of whatever it maybe then what’s the purpose.

9Mental filter

From a young woman in Australia: I care little about people other than immediate family and my partner. I’m very possessive of people and get angry (internally) if they show interest in/preference to others. This applies most to “friends”; (they would call me a friend but I don’t consider them that), my family, my partner, my students.

2No Distortion

I’m not sure what to say…I feel like I’m going crazy…. I can’t stop reliving my past in my sleep. When I was…young, I was raped on a regular basis by my only guardian (he was not related) and occasionally sold for his self gain……….I thought I could grow out of these nightmares where I remember everything so vividly, but they’re becoming more frequent……….

I feel like I’m going crazy

10Labeling

From the Netherlands: For about 6 months, my boyfriend and I are together. In the beginning, it was fun and exciting; he treated me like a queen. Compliments, romantic gestures, talking for hours, etc. But after two months things started to change. The romantic gestures ended. No more compliments or other expressions of his affection towards me. He has one BIG passion and that’s kite surfing, and thats ALL he can talk about. To be honest I don’t know what his feelings for me are really, because he never expresses himself.

To be honest I don’t know what his feelings for me are really, because he never expresses himself.

0All-or-nothing thinking

From the U.S.: Met my sister-in-law in 2004 she is heavy set and had an ordinary style. I have pin up style and platinum blonde hair, several tattoos. Soon after she went from dark brown hair to blonde. Started wearing flower clips in her hair, buying same brand pin up purses as me. Then she bought the same car as mine (black) hers white and had my bro buy same truck as my husband (black) his white.

Met my sister-in-law in 2004 she is heavy set and had an ordinary style.

10Labeling

From the UK: I have had Myalgic Encephalopathy (ME) for 25 years and have experienced several traumas including domestic abuse that have affected me badly. I have retreated into a complete state of hiding from life and avoiding all activity including looking after myself. I havent had a bath for 2 months.

I have retreated into a complete state of hiding from life and avoiding all activity including looking after myself.

3Magnification

From the U.S.: My husband does not handle stress well. He works at home and at times when I call him, he jumps down my throat and yells at me for bothering him. At other times I may just ask him a simple question and he answers me nastily. He has a lot of good qualities, does a lot for me and does a lot around the house, but he does not know how to control himself. He gets all worked up over little things. I believe he needs to be on medication but he won’t take it. He also has anxiety. He doesn’t cuss at me but the way he talks to me makes it hard for me to be loving and intimate. He will apologize later but will do it again. He won’t go to counseling. How do I stop this?

My husband does not handle stress well

8Mind Reading

Please help. I am desperate to find the answers. I have been married for 8 years, together for 13yrs. We have 3 boys, 7,5,2 years old. I love my wife, but have never found the soulmate connection with her. As of last year, I met again my high school girlfriend whom I’ve thought of since parting at graduation in 1988. I knew something was special with us, but being young, didn’t really know what to do about it. Since she has come back into my life, I have been seeing her every once in a while, and emailing each other every day for over the past year. Both of us know that without a doubt we are truly meant for each other and we have found our true soulmate in life. I can’t do anything without thinking of her. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I can’t be with her full time.

2No Distortion

Hi! I have bpd (with no known comorbidity) and for a while now I’ve been dissociating to the point where I’ve been told I’ve gone through my day like normal (or like I’m half asleep in some cases) and I wasn’t there for anything. Like I’d come out and not remember that I just went to work or did laundry, normal stuff. I’ve had entire conversations that I don’t remember having. How could I just black out and go on with my day if I’m not there??? There are some times we’re I also feel like I’m dreaming constantly. Are any of these symptoms normal for bpd? I haven’t been seen by a professional in ages and I just wonder if this is “normal” for bpd.

There are some times we’re I also feel like I’m dreaming constantly.

7Overgeneralization

From the U.S.: Last year, I woke my wife up for sex. This has occurred numerous times throughout our marriage (by both parties) and there was never an issue raised. There were times (when she would wake me and when we were both already awake) when I didn’t want to have sex and never said anything because I didn’t want to disappoint her. Anyway, on the night in question, I unknowingly triggered a flashback to trauma which occurred years before we met that she had never told me about. She did not say or do anything in order to get me to stop. If I had known for even one moment, I would have stopped. It was months later that I even found out it was unwanted. Before and during the assault, I was hurt and felt betrayed by her and also thought I was being petty even feeling betrayed. I know that I should have spoken to her about that instead of trying to replace my negative feelings of her with positive feelings of providing her pleasure.

I know that I should have spoken to her about that instead of trying to replace my negative feelings of her with positive feelings of providing her pleasure.

6Should statements

From a teen in the U.S.: I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 6 months now. In the beginning I was super excited about it and I was really happy. I was a virgin going into the relationship and I had planned on keeping it that way. On the other hand, he was not a virgin and pretty experienced in sex. even before we were dating, he would try to put his hands down my pants, take off my shirt, etc. I always said no and got uncomfortable but he would do it anyway.

2No Distortion

The older one is 29 years old and have mental problems and he have also a hole in his heart that makes problem with his nerves but now I’m not writing for him but for my little brother who is 13 years old. Against the older brother he is good, he goes at school but he doesn’t show good grades or speak very well. He doesn’t care about his school life, lately he ask weird question comparing for his ages about what are the things around him. He played game online sometime, don’t talk much, in his actions he is a bit delayed. And what i worry the most is that he act sometimes like the older brother with his gestures. He walk like him, the position of hands make often like him and some nonsense world that my older brother often say the little one is saying. We all thought before that my little brother with time would be better but I’m worried that he is going to be more bad…And i forgot to tell that we have send my little brother at doctor before but they said that he doesn’t have anything in his mind or in heart like my brother. We are five children. Three girls and two boys and my sisters are so well and very smart and the illness that my older brother have isn’t inherited. Could someone tell me what should I do about my little brother? I don’t want he to be or to act like older brother? I want to know why is he acting like that even when we live all together he doesn’t act like my father which is very close or anyone else but with my older brother? You will me help a lot if you answer my question… Have a nice day

And what i worry the most is that he act sometimes like the older brother with his gestures. He walk like him, the position of hands make often like him and some nonsense world that my older brother often say the little one is saying. We all thought before that my little brother with time would be better but I’m worried that he is going to be more bad…

3Magnification

Hi! I’m 22 years old and for the past year and a half of my life I have been in a never ending cycle of self-loathing. I think firstly it is important to understand that I’m not the type of person to ask for help. I rarely do even at the most minimal of levels. So it goes without saying that this is, in a way slightly uncomfortable for me. That being said let me address the issue at hand. For the last year and a half I have been experiencing feelings that confuse me. Feelings that until now I have yet to express to any other person, including close friends and relatives. My issue is this, every single and I mean every single thing that I do that is not done to perfection I beat myself up about. I’m not talking about when it happens but in the future. I’ll be watching TV, driving a car, walking down the street and Bam! Out of nowhere a negative thought, embarrassing moment, or otherwise distasteful event will pop in my head. For the next 30 seconds to a minute it will consume me from the inside out. At best I’ll clench my fist or jaw and maybe shake my head. At worst I’ll have to lay down and take deep breaths to overcome it. Whether the event was a lie I told years ago or an awkward encounter I had with a close friend that if I asked they may not even remember. It’s a constant war in my head. On one hand I can realize that 99% of these past events just don’t matter in the bigger picture of life but on the other i’m a perfectionist and they are just unacceptable things that drive me insane. This has lead to strong anxiety to the point that If I’m having a episode in my head I may slur my words while I’m talking to someone. Furthermore it has lead to a hatred for myself and a deep sadness. I have been loved by so many people and can’t explain why I feel the way I do. But the churning in my stomach has to go. It is just to unbearable. Thank you very much for your time.

My issue is this, every single and I mean every single thing that I do that is not done to perfection I beat myself up about. Furthermore it has lead to a hatred for myself and a deep sadness.

5Personalization

I have been an angry kid my entire life, and I realized recently that I get angry at very stupid things but then I can not calm down unless I break something most of the time. If I do not break something or feel that I have done something bad, I am not satisfied with myself.

2No Distortion

I personally don’t think my hallucinations can be considered as a symptom of Schizophrenia, because they have decreased in both quantity and vividness over these two years after taking medication, currently I’m not taking anything and it’s rare for me to hallucinate now, only while feeling an extremely negative emotion or panicking and even then I wouldn’t call it a psychotic episode. 2 years ago it was more of shadows taking on silhouettes of humans but still a little bit blurry and a disturbing amount of violent voices in my head (which I didn’t recognize at all), but nowadays if it ever happens, I just see couple of colorful animals or shapeless blobs of color, and I only hear what I heard throughout the several days with the voices from people I have heard it from but not forming any sort of pattern or making sense.

2No Distortion

From a teenaged girl in Turkey: At first, I wanted to ask if I really was a socipoath but then it seemed irrational to me. I won’t go to an “;expert”; in real life and show myself, so here I am. (English isn’t my native language by the way.) I know that I’m intelligent but I don’t know if I’m too intellegent or just an idiotic narcissist. (Still didn’t take any test.) Everything seems too intangible, a word in my brain is just some letters to make people think a specific thing, in reality, means anything. Even the word describing itself is relevant.

I know that I’m intelligent but I don’t know if I’m too intellegent or just an idiotic narcissist.

10Labeling