text
stringlengths 7
31.1k
| question
stringclasses 50
values |
|---|---|
I’ve decided to kill I’m killing people that abused me, neglected, hurt all of those tings. Monsters only. And they’ll all die and it will be good. | What is something a person with medical anxiety might say? |
Whenever I close my bedroom door and sink into another depressive episode, my dog whines to be let in I think he knows how I'm feeling sometimes | What is a common sentence said by someone with medical anxiety? |
Suicidal thoughts, but I won't act. Is this normal? I hate my life, have nothing to live for, no friends etc. I am constantly thinking of suicide and the perfect methods and how I could do it painlessly, the note I would leave, when I would do it etc. BUT I don't think I would ever do it (I have tried before half assed attempts when drunk), but when sober I wouldn't try it I'm pretty sure. Is this something to worry about or just normal? | Can you provide a sentence that depicts medical anxiety? |
I don’t know how to protect my brother I have finally stopped crying but I still don’t know what to do. My brother lives 5 hours away with my parents (which is a toxic dynamic) and he feels completely isolated with no hope for his future. I’ve offered for him to come visit or stay with me but he refuses. I don’t know what to do... I know he is suicidal and this happens every few months, extreme depressive episodes And he calls me sobbing. I’ve tried everything. Nothing I say is helps. Nothing is work trying. He feels hopeless and feel like there is nothing I can do fix it. I love him so much and it hurts my heart to know he wants to end it. And I feel hopeless that I can’t do anything to help... | Can you give a sentence that demonstrates medical anxiety? |
I wish people didnt worry so much I wish people didnt worry about me so it'd make killing myself easier. I know a lot of people want the feeling of people caring about them dying but for me I wish no one cared.
I've been planning for a while now but a girl I work with seems to care for me but I dont want to hurt her. Or my family.
I guess I wish I just didnt exist. I think about killing myself every night and wish the first attempt was a success.
The hardest part for me is having people be sad by it because I know I dont want to live anymore. | How might someone with medical anxiety express their fears? |
Anyone feel this way? So... when you feel like your not here to support anyone and your existence is irrelevant, what are you supposed to do? Sure there are those that say I'm important. But what matters is how I feel. And I dont feel that way,. So why am I still here? | Can you give an example of a sentence spoken by someone with medical anxiety? |
I really wanna end it all but "mum would be sad" is why I'm not able to do it. I really really really wanna just get lost in myself and be able to kill myself... I'm nothing more than a disappointment to everyone including myself. Everyday I lose more of myself. Everyday I'm fighting myself. I'm a disappointment to even my parents. Just a good for nothing child. The person I thought I loved a lot even left me and I probably made her leave me. Maybe because I'm just done with life and everything. I don't see a future for myself and I really don't know how long I can take this. I don't trust anyone and that has lead to me kicking everyone out of my life and now I've got no friends to talk to either. I really don't need any for that matter because they were all a bunch of selfish people. Everyday is the same now,. I really wanna end it myself but just the thought of mum would be sad is what's keeping me going. I really love my parents and I really love my girlfriend who left me... I wish I could make everyone proud of me. I know I'm too much of a scared person to even kill myself and I know I'll have to live this life. But I hope once I finally die I don't come back again to this world... And I hope people get over me soon.. | Can you give a sentence that demonstrates medical anxiety? |
I am a 15 year old kid who is seeing my dad getting a notice that wants him to go to immigration court
I have a full family mom and brother and my dad I love them all but I know if we go to court we would most likely get separated and I’m scared we don’t have a lawyer and if my dad doesn’t go to court he could go to jail and I still lose because I would still be separated from my family and would be on adoption the court date is tomorrow only me and my dad are going to court I don’t know if I should just kill myself before anything happens | What would a person say to convey their medical anxiety? |
I dont wanna do it, I don't even know how, but i just see no other option, I feel like a horrible person, like a parasite Idk why am I even writing here | How might someone verbalize their medical anxiety? |
i’m thinking of killing myself soon i can’t stop hurting my boyfriend. i’m a terrible person no matter how hard i try. i’m poison. there are so many things wrong with me.
i want to go to a bridge near me in my city and hurl myself off it. i’m scared and i wish i could die without pain or someone i know finding me. | Can you give a quote that represents medical anxiety? |
Even the suicide lifeline chat isn't working for me Just like everything else in my life nothing is working, but what else is new. The one time I want to tell someone my story I can't. Everything is against me my luck is just that awful. I hate myself. Fingers crossed I spontaneously combust. | Can you give an example of a sentence that reveals medical anxiety? |
A vicious cycle My mind keeps racing. All I think about is failure and negativity. No matter how good things get, I keep getting sucked into my void. One moment ok then all of a sudden I’ll space out engage in a battle with myself. My coping mechanism is to essentially become braid dead, I don’t think of anything, I have no opinions, no reactions, just existing, just numb to everything. I’m sick of it, it’s just mental self torment.
I’ve also had trouble perceiving and relationships, friends, acquaintances, romantic interests. None of them work, I just keep falling out of connections. Since I’m a basically conscious vegetable, no one will deal with my non-existent shit. I’m tired of being alone. Being alone with my loud mind. I don’t hear voices, I only hear one, and its my voice telling me to do it, today I might.
I’ve had several attempts throughout my life, but never have I had the balls to do it. I’m currently planning for the least messiest way. If I’m going I want to at least make cleanup easy. | Can you give an example of a sentence that reveals medical anxiety? |
Feeling suicidal and running out of reasons to stay alive. I've (28) never had a lot of friends and I was always okay with that, but in high school, the friends I had stoped hanging out with me, and starting hanging out with other people. I would ask if they wanted to hang out and they would always reply with 'let me see if anyone else wants to do something else first.' and they would always find something to do other than hang out with me. I would talk with new people and they would say your an interesting person, how come you never talk about going out? I'd tell them I didnt have anyone to hang out with, and not one of those people extended an invintation. So i gave up trying to make friends in high school thinking I'd probally not keep in touch with most of them anyways, and i'd try after high school. Its been ten years since I graduated. I've made zero friends. Right out of high school I didn't try to hard, i figured I'd let it just happen, but it didn't, then after a mental health crisis, I started seeing a psychologist, who told me I needed to meet new people, and we talked about how, so with his tips in mind, and researching psychology tricks to get people to want to be friends with you, and seeing what I could change about myself to make myself more friendly, and applying all these, after four years of trying to make friends, again I have made zero. All I do is work and sleep. Even my family barely talks to me, and really only does if they need something, or theres a family event, and thats just to invite me, never end up talking to anyone at them. so i have no friends, my family doesnt really talk to me, everytime i try to make a new friend, i get more depressed because it never works, and everytime i try to even get help online, i see other peoples post about feeling suicidal getting tons of replys and support, mine only ever get a few, and all they ever say is your going through a rough patch, i think after 10 years its not a rough patch, and my life just sucks. I've tried to make my life better for the past four years and have nothing to show for it. I just want to end it. | Can you give an example of what someone anxious about their health might say? |
Seriously what's the point, I've been unemployed for 2 years and have 0 prospects. I just don't know and this won't make sense because I don't know what to say.
Ive been unemployed for 2 years having my gf pay my bills and it feels awful I look for jobs every day get some interviews but I can't talk to people honestly, it scares me and I end up giving a bad impression. Because of this I haven't even been able to get through interviews at supermarkets and fast food places.
I've worked in kitchens before but I've never held a job for longer than 8 months due to anxiety and depression so no place will take me on based on past experience.
I have no money so I can't go back into education and even if I did I can't imagine I'd be able to finish it since I have no drive or motivation.
I just want to close my eyes to sleep and not have to wake up, I want to kill myself but I'm to scared to actually do it. I constantly feel numb and my heart feels heavy in my chest I just don't know what I can do and how I can get out of this. I'm fed up of feeling like I'm worthless all I want is to live a real life and have motivations. | Can you give an example of what a person with medical anxiety might articulate? |
My dark thoughts Hey this is my first time here and I just wanted to talk about how sometimes when my drunk dad is yelling at my mom and I’m not sure what’s gonna happen I just have these dark thoughts of how if it comes to it I’m gonna have to hurt him but if it doesn’t how can I keep living with this phycological pain with him getting drunk and yellin at my sister n mom how can I end this pain how I wanna end this pain just be nothing when my mom comes to us and apologizes for not leaving him and stayin n makin us suffer through this drunk but I/we can’t do anything I just don’t wanna do this anymore I just can’t thank you for reading this | How would a person voice their medical anxiety in words? |
Advice on talking to people about suicidal feelings? Hey y’all, I recently told my teacher about my suicidal thoughts and he said I can talk to him anytime. The problem is I’m like really, really awkward and I don’t know how to? I know it seems stupid but like I’m terrible at socializing and opening up. Any advice? | How might someone with medical anxiety express their fears? |
I'm so fuckin tired of being alive Everyday is just the same bullshit and I'm so fuckin done with it all. | What could a person say if they are suffering from medical anxiety? |
My M[19] girlfriend F[19] keeps talking about wanting to kill herself throwaway account because she follows me but:
We’re in the summer of our freshman year heading to sophomore year of college in August. I’ve been dating my best friend for 4 months now. She has been suffering with depression since about 7th grade. She was raped at 16 and tried to commit suicide as a result.
I have literally scoured the internet for countless hours on ways to help her and have tried everything. Thinking of ways to help her has consumed my mind nonstop. She has good and bad days. On good days she’s the love of my life and I’ve never felt this way about someone. She seems happy and even says sorry for “acting like a bitch” the day prior. On bad days it consumes her, barely talks and doesn’t believe the compliments I give her. Today was the worst as she told me multiple times to bail because it is going to hurt me a lot more if I don’t. Of course I said no way that I’m going to be by her side no matter what, which I will.
So I tried the active listening technique but she says that makes her feel worse. She has went to therapy for depression before and said it hasn’t helped. I feel helpless and my next plan of action is to tell her mom but that also terrifies me because when she was raped she told her parents and they said it was her fault (terrible i know). So it will probably just make things worse and make her hate me. I’m the only one she has so I’m afraid if I do that then it will make her more depressed.And apparently her family makes fun of her for going to therapy in the past. Our university has mental health counselors but if she makes it by then I don’t think she will go to. So I guess my question is just what do I do? At what point do I call 911 to get her checked in if that is the right course of action? | What could a person with medical anxiety say? |
I am Confused, afraid, and unsure of what to do the next couple of days. This has been something I've been trying to push against for months. I feel so perturbed by the high frequency of suicidal thoughts I've been having this past month. What makes it so unsettling is why. I live a good life, my family loves me and I have a handful of friends. I have reached out to them yes, but I just feel like such a waste. I have made poor decisions in the past which ended with me losing several friends I spoke to nearly every night and day. Thoughts of them continue to flow through my mind everyday to the point they are having full conversations in my mind. Sometimes they are about the wrongs I have done. Other time they are about what I could've done or how I could go back to them. I know it is a bad idea in the end though. I pushed myself away from all of them because I felt like I was only hurting them.
I just want the thoughts to go away, but even when I try to busy myself with school, family, or friends they come back. I feel terrible when they come and I've tried to look in myself and forgive myself for what happened. I wish I could just forget, but I know you can't just do that.
I've been looking at the purchase of cyanide pills. Having them shipped in 3 days. I feel like I'm too far gone to go back now. | What is a typical sentence said by someone experiencing medical anxiety? |
My brother killed himself and I'm scared I'll do the same. My brother killed himself a month ago and I'm scared I'll do the same.
My brother was the best guy. He was so kind and thoughtful. He didnt have a mean bone is his body. He was a man *I* wanted to be like. He helped those who needed it, he remembered little things easily forgotten that simply meant the world. He was so loved by everybody that knew him. His crew at work would've dont anything for him. He ~~has~~ had a best friend who was deployed when this all happened. I reached out to him numerous times over the last few months, but he's never been the talkative type and I just thought he was just being himself. He'll get back to me. The last thing he sent to me was a Happy Thanksgiving meme. I loved him so much. We thought something was off when he bought a gun a few months prior. We cracked his phone and saw he kept a journal that said in detail how he had been practicing his suicide...
I can't believe it. The world is too much. My world feels like a hollow shell. I cant see straight. Everything I enjoy seems stupid now. If someone makes me smile or laugh I cant stop thinking how idiotic I am. I didnt see the signs my brother was depressed and now he's gone. I dont know if I can trust myself anymore. I miss him so much. He was hurting so bad. I'm hurting so bad. I'm scared to talk to anyone about what's happening in my head now. My whole life, my goals, my dreams, feels worthless. I dont know what to do. | Can you provide a sentence that depicts medical anxiety? |
Instead of committing suicide I decided i'm going to try hardcore drugs. Bought some Meth, Oxy's, Xanax
Any concerns are appreciated but I've tried everything and I'm too far gone. Might as well go out on a high. | Can you give a sentence that demonstrates medical anxiety? |
Somebody please convince me I matter I just dont know what to do anymore. The thought of killing myself just makes me cry. I dont want to make my friends/family sad that I'm gone. I'm not looking for comments that just say same. I know that this is not a healthy place to be and I should get help. I dont want to drag others into my own despair. Please help me even the most simple words can make me feel better. | Can you provide an example of a sentence that indicates medical anxiety? |
I just want it to be over The fluctuating emotions, the wants to self harm...but I cant leave my girlfriend. Shes my everything. But I feel so worthless, pathetic and shes probably be fine without me. I've had a note written out for so long. I could do it at anytime. All I have to do is get a knife and it's over. Right? | Can you give an example of a medical anxiety expression? |
What do I do with him? My best friend is gonna supposedly kill himself this week. Idk if it already happened or not but I feel like I have to do something here. We've been friends for 11 years now, and with how close I am to him I already know that any attempt to convince him to not do it wouldn't work. I can't be there for him because of small reasons like not having a car or him not wanting to meet up. So I was wondering if calling his parents (who are very abusive, so he'd be in trouble) would be any good. I don't see any other choices but to call people who are the closest to him to help... which is me actually, so I don't really know what to do. | What is an example of verbalizing medical anxiety? |
I just discovered this sub! [DISCLAIMER: THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE HELPFUL. THIS IS SIMPLY JUST MY STORY. PLEASE LMK IN THE COMMENTS YOUR THOUGHTS] I once had situational depression. I would wake up everyday and think about how I was going to die and hope that someone would do it for me so It could be easier. I understand that life fucking SUCKS sometimes, but as hard as it is to believe, life CAN be beautiful. If you haven’t clicked out of this post already, you’re probably rolling your eyes or thinking about how ignorant I am, I get it. But as bad as your life is, you have to remember that the present doesn’t have to stay constant, there is an ENTIRE future ahead of you and you just don’t know the amazing things that can/will change your life for the better. I was depressed because I was gay and felt as if I had no purpose in life. If I killed myself I would’ve said goodbye to a happy marriage with my husband, a beautiful daughter (we adopted) that I love more than anything, a job that I honestly love! And so many other things, things that I could’ve never seen coming when I was depressed. I assure u that even though you might feel like complete SHIT rn, that feeling will not last forever, all you gotta do is hold on. | Can you provide an example of a sentence that someone with medical anxiety might say? |
Want to kill myself but can't I'm in a situation where I have ruined my prospects for happiness, and it is inescapable. But I can't kill myself bc of the pain I would cause to my family. I don't know what to do, and every day I am reminded by others of what a burden of a human being I am. I regret everything. | What is an example of a sentence that shows someone is experiencing medical anxiety? |
Why My boyfriend called me a bitch in front of my own mother and she agreed. I told him I wanted to kill myself and he called me pathetic and selfish. But what do I have to live for? It seems no one loves me or cares for me. Not even the people that are supposed to love me the most. Why should I even try anymore? | How might a person describe their medical anxiety in a sentence? |
I think I’m going to kill myself tonight I don’t really know what to right tbh
I’m a 15 year old trans guy, came out when I was like 11 and waited on the Tavistock (the uk gender clinic) for like 3 years and then once I got there they distarged me cos I don’t have any fucking friends anymore and my step dad was being a prick so that apparently means I don’t know shit about myself, we literally only had like idk 3 meetings. I had been waiting so fucking long for this. I feel so fucking dysphoric all the fucking time I hate my body so fucking much. I just want enough testosterone to at least make my voice a little deeper. And what’s pushed me to the edge is when I went out yesterday literally 5 people called me a girl and my mum and step dad have pretty much given up on calling me a boy and by my pronouns, they always call me a girl/thier daughter and use she/her. And even if I do get to transition this society is so fucking transphobic like just on fucking twitter or some shit and on every post to do with trans folks it’s always so negative like there’s a whole wave of even cis lgbt ppl hating us. Literally what’s the fucking point. I’ve already attempted suicide over this when I was 12 and camhs did absolutely nothing, no therapist or anything. I have not a single friend except for like one online friend and literally every family member that was like ‘oooh you tried to kill yourself this is so sad’ has hardly spoken to me since plus I haven’t even met half of my family and my biological dad hardly ever speaks to and keeps on arranging times for us to meet them cancelling like the only person that might actually be upset about me dying is my cat.
Anyway, I already have 2 codomsl pills with me right now and according to google I only need like 5 in one go to kill myself and there’s probably way more in the house so yeah can’t be arsed with life and I have literally ~nothing~ to live for so, goodbye | Can you give a sentence that exemplifies medical anxiety? |
Why live always sad Not interesting, boring, no-one likes me not even me.i just want sol1 to cuddle | Can you give an example of dialogue showing medical anxiety? |
How does anybody deal with this? I feel like such a cunt. I have a good life. My family's cool and supportive, I have a couple close friends, and I'm well off in all regards. But I don't want to live. I don't want anything to live to be honest. Not just humans, but any and all forms of life. It's just a big, painful struggle to live long enough to reproduce. Why the hell do people live? For "fun"?? For "meaning"?? How can people go through their whole lives and not come to the logical conclusion that life is not worth living? Do they try to hide it with religion and hope? Camus said to rebel against the meaninglessness of it all, but I don't want to be a slave to the biological drive to keep living. I won't contribute to this painful cycle of life. | What would a person with medical anxiety say? |
Life is...meaningless So, we are born, we go to school, we get jobs, we slave away working, learning and then we die. But what is the actual point? Life is a struggle and I'm starting to feel like it's not worth it.
There's no meaning to it and it's not fulfilling no matter what I try to do to change this. Existence is futile. I want to be done. | How might someone with medical anxiety phrase their feelings? |
I’m taking 220 mg Remeron Hopefully that’s enough to cause an overdose.
I’m just tired of living. There’s a lot of things wrong in my life, and I can’t take it anymore. Death is the only solution I see.
Bye. | Can you give a sentence that demonstrates medical anxiety? |
Breakup is all my fault, lost everything. I want to die I lost the love of my life, and the little patchwork family we had created. He broke up with me five months ago. We recently reconnected, thinking it would be good for the kids. But of course, I fell back and in love and he has moved on with someone else.
He broke up with me because I was not connecting with his young (6/7 year old) son. His wife and his sons mother had died two years before we met. There was a lot of baggage. I tried, but her pictures were everywhere. He loved me wholly and never made me feel less than. I did. And those feelings bled into how I felt about his son - whom I wouldn't let myself connect with. My ex was kind, funny, thoughtful, fun, patient, and he smelled good. He wanted my daughter to be his daughter. He loved me on good days and bad days. And then he ended it. I went into a hospital as I was found choking myself out with a towel in a car. His recent revelations, after our family reconnecting and engaging in such a postive way again, made me go back into the pit of despair.
I fucked everything up. I loved him. And now he is gone.
I hate myself. For what I lost. For what I lost for my daughter. I don't know how to get rid of this suffocating blanket of regret. Of feeling like such a horrible person.
I am alone with a young daughter. Please talk to me. | Can you give an example of a sentence that reveals medical anxiety? |
7 fucking years of suicidal episodes and I'm done They just keep fucking coming back over and over. I know I have to do it because my brain just fucking won't let me live no matter how hard I fight. The problem is that I'm too fucking cowardly. I'm scared of death. What if I fail and end up a vegetable in the hospital? How the hell am I suppose to come up with a suicide plan of hiding my body, writing a note and finding a successful method? I cant hurt my family. Even though she's moved on, what if my ex ends up committing suicide or never recovers from depression because of me? What if my mum kills herself afterwards? What if it turns out I'm not as sure as I think I am and I'm only feeling suicidal because Im expressing extreme hurt? It would be the right thing for me to at least address my funeral and my will yet this shit is a massive, unthinkable responsibility and it intimidates me. All these major decisions and concerns have stopped me from properly attempting all these years despite the frequency in which they come and how INTENSE my situation is.
All my memories throughout my life, including the happiest memories torture me. She comes to me in my sleep just to mock me, betray me, crush me and leave me again and again. The feelings of panic, misery, doom and despair are freshly reanimated every time I think about her. Her memory makes me break down into tears yet its been months since she last spoke to me. My soul mates' face leaves me feeling like suicide is my one and only next course of action. I've pushed away all my best friends who used to be like family to me - they havent said a single word to me in months. My family cant take care of me anymore, they have to support themselves. I crash and burn at university every time I try to get back on my feet. I've tried and tried and tried with therapy this whole fucking time. I've had therapy as intense as you can get and fists full of medications. I cant fucking take the brain fog and the emotional agony anymore. Im not even alive anymore, I'm just a vegetable stuck in my bed all day and night with no connections to the outside world. Theres fucking nowhere for me to go. No one left to love me. It's been years of an uphill battle and each year that's passed has been a bigger blow and another nail in my coffin.
I'm home alone and I'm not safe here at all. I just saw my ex's face on Instagram and I almost didn't recognize her. I don't know why this has set me off but I've been fighting a crisis these past 2 months and this has pushed me over the fucking edge.
I wish I was never told "it gets better" because it didn't. It really fucking didn't. I wish I hadn't listened and just fucking ended it all when I was 15 because I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. | What is a typical sentence said by someone experiencing medical anxiety? |
I feel out of control and my hope is lost Everyday I want to cry and in the end I do. I feel unwanted, unloved and that I'm just a dissapointment, a mess, a fuck up.. I want to have a normal life, where I have friends that truely care and a family which i love.
My heart hurts, I feel insane in a way, that my smiles and jokes is just for show. That it means nothing and nothing is genuine anymore. I feel that my friends in reality are just fake and don't want me. I could disappear for a month and nobody would notice. And if they did, they would just be glad that I'm not here anymore. No longer there to annoy them and be a burden.
My life is falling apart bit by bit. It's starts with something small like forgeting homework to missing deadlines to arguements and hurting my family. That life just keeps going on and I can't keep up. Cant take control of anything. And in a way, it is.
I isolate myself, trying to make myself a better person. So i can not be the awkward person and see that people care about me. And it did but things like that never last. That nobody will love me and I can't my love for somebody to share moments and bring something to this world.
I think of escaping. Taking a different bus instead of going to school. To spent my final day wasting my money just to never come home again. To jump off a bridge far away when nobody knows where I am at. To end the burden, the pain and emptiness inside.
Sorry for the rant but letting it out like this helps in a way. To let the emotions go and able to breathe for a moment. | What is an example of a spoken sentence that shows medical anxiety? |
Anxiety and panic attacks are destroying my life. I’ve sunk back into my depression after recently being diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder. I keep fucking everything in my life up and I’m worried this will never end. I’m finally getting professional help next week but I’m just in such a bad place mentally and it’s making my thoughts spiral. I’m working so hard to better myself but it seems to go unnoticed or it’s too late to fix anything and it’s making me wonder why I’m even still trying. I could really use some words of encouragement right now or any tips that could be useful. | Can you give an example of a verbal expression of medical anxiety? |
Planning my suicide note makes me want to stay alive The more I plan a suicide note the more I want to stay alive. Just last night I was going through a list of the people in my life who would be affected by my death and I thanked them for how wonderful they are. I noted things that made them special to me and told a few how much I wanted them to thrive but didn't think they were headed in the right direction. It honestly it made me want to live. Made me appreciate the little things a bit more. Obviously, it didn't fix everything but it just... gave me a little bit of comfort, I guess? My life feels like shit but the people in it are honestly wonderful and even if everything else falls apart I still have people who care about me.
Anyway, that's just something I wanted to share. Hope and comfort can come from the strangest places. I can't exactly recommend writing a suicide note, but maybe try to list some things you're grateful for today and why. It might make a difference. <3 | What might a person say if they are experiencing medical anxiety? |
Ill be alone forever I hate my stupid fucking autistic brain. Ill never attract a female ever in my life. Im a genetic failure and need to die | Can you provide an example of a sentence that someone with medical anxiety might say? |
anyone else just smoke pot and stay in their room all day like on internet or games. this is literally all i do | Can you give a sentence that demonstrates medical anxiety? |
I hate having high functioning depression I hate it, I'm not a slobbering, crying mess like I wish I am. I'm a top student
My mental health is inversely proportional to my grades. I got a 98% in a class this semester. *NINETY EIGHT*, yet instead of being grateful line a normal person I just get more depressed.
I've been having daily, vivid suicidal thoughts for the past 2 weeks and it doesn't seem to stop any time soon.
People don't expect me to be depressed because I'm always cheery, talk a lot, and an a star student. In reality I want to fucking blow my brains across 7 provinces. No one, not even the people here take me seriously when I'm Sony calm and normal. When I start acting psychotic, everyone jumps in to try and help me, to tell me how important life is. When I act calm and rational, no one gives a fuck.
I used to be full of energy and enthusiasm, but it's all fucking gone. My old online fiends have pointed out how I used to be a giant extrovert, but now, aside from school, I haven't left my house in 2 weeks.
I crave the day when I'm old enough to get a gun and shoot myself in the head. I keep thinking about that moment over and over and over.
I keep begging and asking for help, for antidepressants so I don't die, but no one gives them because I'm "too perfect" and that I set an example for all the failing girls. I'm not a tone model, if anything I deserve to be a delinquent.
I want to drop out of school so badly but one again with my whole miss goody two shoes, I can't otherwise my parents would beat the hell out of me.
I can't even cut myself properly, I only ever cut to epidermis and I fucking hate it. I want to cut deep to have scars, to have blood running down my arms so that when people look at me they know that I have a fucking problem and that I should not be ignored. I want attention. I want someone to acknowledge my fucking existence, because as it currently stands, my fucking life is a joke
I want a boyfriend, someone who can degrade me and tell me how much of a worthless piece of shoot I am daily, because that way, someone recognizes my issues and does something. I want him to beat me and make me cry. I've lost the ability to cry due to how little fucking emotion I show. I want to feel pain, to feel fear. I want to feel like somebody. | What is an example of a spoken sentence that shows medical anxiety? |
I can't go on anymore. I've recently had suffered a psychotic episode (first and only one yet) and I have hurt the person I cared about the most. Life has lost it's meaning and I don't see any way things could get better. I have no future and can't shake the feeling that it was simply taken from me (probably projecting or putting the blame on other because I'm a fucking coward and can't take responsibility for my actions). I probably deserved it 'cause I'm a shit human and I can't change. Too much of a coward to kill myself and I will probably start starving myself soon. Don't upvote. Sorry for the bad english, it's a second language. | Can you give an example of what someone anxious about their health might say? |
Brother (13) says he doesn't want to be at my mom's house because he might hurt himself. What do I do? So I am not even supposed to know about this, my Dad told me my brother said he couldn't stay at my moms because he is afraid that he might hurt himself.
He did not want to tell me anything today, but he wanted to tell my dad, and my dad told me without my brothers permission.
My dad told me he was going to let my brother stay with him without my mom knowing my brothers feelings. I recommended he call up a therapist right away to see what they recommend.
What should i do? I don't want to violate anyones trust but idk if telling my mom is the right thing to do. | What could a person say if they are suffering from medical anxiety? |
I'm probably going to kill myself soon. nothing special to say here, just that all I think about is suicide, how to do it without failing for the third time, without leaving a mess or further scarring my family. I have no intention of living anymore, of trying therapy all over again, going to AA anymore, even trying to be happy. I'm done trying. I give up | What might someone with medical anxiety say in a moment of distress? |
I’ve pushed away almost everyone that meant anything to me. A few months ago I was happy, I had people who meant a lot to me who I could talk to about how I felt, and who I think cared about me, but I threw all of that away by telling them my problems too much, thinking that they could help me when in reality I was just pushing them away. And finally it got too much for them and they cut me out of their lives, and I’ve been left with almost no one. The people I have left all have other people that they care about way more than me, and don’t really care about me in general, and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I just want to end it so I don’t stress anyone out anymore and aren’t a burden on them, and get away from this crippling loneliness. | What is an example of a sentence that shows someone is experiencing medical anxiety? |
I set up a google voice # for people who’d like someone to talk to. My story: Yesterday, I reached out to my cousin on the phone (we’re really close) only to find out that he was having MAJOR suicidal thoughts.. like he was literally about to call 911 on himself. The craziest thing about all this was that just the other day.. he was at my house and we were hanging out like we always do.. going out to eat, playing video games, watching movies, sharing dreams about the future, etc. I had NO IDEA what he was going through. (He was really good at hiding it)
So for the next hour, I just sat there on the phone and just LISTENED.. I listened to him speak about his immense struggles he was facing.. feelings of inadequacy, past childhood traumas, stories of sexual abuse.. all things that he had never shared with me before. (I knew him since we were babies)
After a couple hours of just hearing his stories, he calmed down and told me he was SO relieved to have gotten these things off his chest. Thankfully, he was no longer feeling suicidal (at least for the moment) and he survived the night.
It was at this moment that I realized the HEALING POWER of sharing and listening. That just by shedding light on your demons, you can begin to heal even in the slightest sense.
This is why I decided to open up a google voice # for anyone else out there who feels the need to share their story, even if it’s with a complete stranger (Me). I promise not to judge, not to give unsolicited advice, not to try to “fix” you. I offer you my time, my ears, my sympathy, and my heart.
If this sounds like it might help you, feel free to reach out to me @ (408) 430-7393.
You can call or text. I live in California so the time zone is PST. I will do my best to get to everyone. If I don’t pick up on your first try, leave a text and I will get back to you as soon as I can.
I realize that some people may be wary of reaching out to strangers, I assure you I will respect your privacy and never share your information or story with anyone else. I am simply doing this to do my part in healing the world and trying to make it a better place.
God bless, and much love. | What is an example of a phrase from a person with medical anxiety? |
Pretty sure I'm gonna do it I just can't go on and endlessly breath through this pain. | Can you give an example of a sentence that reveals medical anxiety? |
This is it for me boys. An open letter to anyone who'll listen. I can't go on. I've got every issue in the book right now. Anxiety, depression, adhd, opcd. A family that's collapsing. No friends to go to. No where to escape to. Nothing to keep me here.
I'm not sure if I'll make it through tomorrow and I fully plan not to.
I'll miss my grandpa most. He'll be heart broken but I need him to know he didn't fail. He believed me when no one else was. He was never ashamed of me.
I hope my cousins take good care of my little sister, but I've been a bad example so I hope that doesn't rub off.
I hope none of you ever need to spiral because one little thing pushed you ever the edge of a cliff. One little detail ruined your life. No video game should do that.
My parent marriage will hopefully become stronger without me.
Maybe people at school will stop to talk a little more often if they notice what can happen.
I'm sorry I have to leave. I really am. But I can't go any longer. It's not worth it. I wish I had when everyone else had to make life worth living but I lost all of it and it's all my fault.
Goodbye. I really do love you all. | Can you provide an example of a sentence that someone with medical anxiety might say? |
Being born with this curse makes life a road filled with sadness, bitterness and pain. Hello reddittors... I am a dude from Badalona, Spain. recently 27yo. Never had any job, love, too old for university (I always wanted to go, but six years is too much), 0 networking, no money, uncapable to be productive in any way, and the country I live is a shitty place corrupted beyond salvation where you just cannot have a decent salary if you are not lucky enough.
I was born with Simplex Schizophrenia. Thanks lottery, less than 0,001% of all people have this shit and it had to be me.
It's a mental illnes that reduces the social skills of the person, the willpower to even clean the bedroom, and self-esteem to zero. I'm not even capable of tying shoes (I have never learnt, no idea why), and it is not a joke.
One thing that does well is make the cursed procastinate a lot. I feel like if I had a coma when I was a teenager and wasted more than ten years. Nothing has changed since, except my slow approach to the end of this hell.
The doctors have tried many medicines that it is known that works, but on me it produces horrible symptoms, so I cannot receive a treatment available in Spain.
I would write much more, so many things, but right now i just want to get this right off my chest because while in bus I was thinking about killing myself. Tomorrow I will come again to see if have any response... Thanks in advance. | What might a person say if they are experiencing medical anxiety? |
Where do you think you’ll go if you actually commit suicide? Afterlife or just non-existence | How might someone with medical anxiety phrase their feelings? |
too scared to kill myself, too empty to live. i’m done. i’ve had it. my life has been going downhill since i was six and i don’t think it’ll ever get better. my parents split up, my stepmom abuses my dad and my brother, my sister has been raped twice and tried to kill herself, my stepdad lost his job so now we can hardly pay mortgage, i’ve been hospitalized three times due to various physical health issues, i’m failing all my classes, i lost most of my friends, i had to fight off opioid addiction, and i have nothing left to live for. i’m so sick of existing. no matter what i do, it never gets better. i’m done. nothing makes me happy any more. i just want to lay down in the snow and wait for the cold to take me. i’m ready to go. there’s nothing left here for me. | Can you give an example of a verbal expression of medical anxiety? |
I hate pitying myself, but I'm so scared of what my future holds. I hate this. I hate going to the doctor. I hate the hospital. Every I do blood work they find something else for me to panic about. Things are getting worse in my chronic condition, some new thing is elevated and another pill is recommended to take to keep it under control.
I have a wonderful wife, 2 beautiful children (5 and 2) and I'm 33, turning 34 this year. I just got back from the doctor and I'm such a complete mess of self-pity. How can I muster the courage to carry on and be a father selflessly? I'm forced to a life where I must indulge less and less in the things that bring people joy -- I can't do strength training anymore because it's not good, I have to follow a stricter diet to keep things under control. I'm 34 and I have to take the same precautions as an elderly patient because of my fucking kidney disease.
I'm sure many of you on this subreddit are looking for something to take your life aside from your volition. Some of you may feel like I've got a wife and kids, and thats all that matters so I'm already in a better situation than most. My death will come slowly and with lots of pain and hardships along the way. Maybe in 10 years, maybe sooner. Maybe in 40 years, with lots of anxiety, pain, tears, and what not to accompany it.
It's funny to think that just 2-3 days ago I was perfectly fine. I've been going to the gym for a year and am in the best 'physical shape' I've ever been. I'm proud of the body I've made. Now I have to give it up. I'm at a complete loss of where to go from here. Ending this all is entertaining, as continuing to just exist as a weak/sick version of my self is an exercise in suffering and humility.
So many of you people with suicidal ideation probably come from lives of trauma, poor circumstance, feel like you amounted to nothing. But there is one thing many of you DO have. It's your physical health. | Can you give a sentence that reflects medical anxiety? |
It's my 30th birthday today and I'm considering ending it here. I've had noticable depression and anxiety for 10 years. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months, but it's not helping, I lack the motivation to help myself outside of the therapists office. My girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago because my depression was causing me to be negative and unenjoyable to be around. She did everything she could to help me, but I wasn't willing to help myself. Eventually the stress got to her and she had to leave me for her own well being, I don't blame her. She was the only person outside of my family who cared for or loved me, now no one cares.
I'm 30 and still live in my parents basement, still live paycheck to paycheck. Life just feels like a pointless struggle and I don't want it to continue. | Can you give an example of a medical anxiety expression? |
Its weird how subtle the thought is. I was just laying there trying to drown out my thoughts of negative when all of a sudden, as if my brain though of something to suddenly add to a shopping list "what if i was dead". Its crazy because i didnt think of it as a joke but as a serious question. Ive always thought of this kind of action as the weakest most lowest point of disgust a person could reach. Now i find myself entertaining the idea. | How might someone express their feelings of medical anxiety verbally? |
How do I help my friend My friend is currently a senior in high school. She has been thinking of committing suicide for a while now and her thoughts of suicide were so bad yesterday that she finally opened up to the school counselors and got pulled out of school and sent to the hospital. This was actually a good thing because she was finally going to get the help she needed, until her parents stepped into the picture.
She is supposed to be scheduled for daily check-ups at the hospital as her parents are legally obligated to. Today, however, her parents have refused to to schedule these appointments and express their discomfort with sending her back to the hospital saying that it will get worst if she goes. They want her to continue to go to school and continue life as if everything is normal even after they found out that she wants to kill herself.
My friend had already been diagnosed with anxiety disorder in the past, but her parents refuse to help her get any type of treatment for it because they don't really believe in mental disorders. They simply don't understand the gravity of the situation and think that this will just blow over. I try to comfort her in whatever way I can, but there's only so much I can do since I can't take her to the hospital myself. Is there any way I can help her convince her parents to take her or is there some type of number or number or service I can call in order to help her get the help she needs. She wants help more than anything, but her parents are stopping her from getting what she needs.
| What might a person say if they are experiencing medical anxiety? |
I'm going to end my life tonight. [ ] Being genetically ugly and objectively unattractive means I probably won't find love
[ ] My mother is abusive and beats me until I bleed
[ ] My father is abusive and molested me as a child when I was in kindergarten
[ ] I'm not smart or good at anything
[ ] My brother hasn't talked to me since 2012ish (I'm 14 he's 17 or 18)
[ ] I have no hobbies
[ ] I'm overweight (130 pounds and 5'8) and black so my peers don't care enough to notice me
[ ] We don't ever have enough money for fucking anything
[ ] All my friends are fake
[ ] I hate capitalism: I dont want to have a desk job where I just fuck around building wealth and capital for somebody else.
[ ] I have an imaginary world: one in my head where everything how's the way I want it. In this world I live in a Manhatten penthouse with my 2 little brothers and my mom and my dad. Occasionally I use my super suit to go to California, where my godfather owns a motorcycle store and my babysitters kid is my boyfriend. Going to bed every night realizing this isn't real and will never happen makes me want to die
[ ] I'm ugly as fuck
[ ] Nothing makes me happy anymore, I used to just feel distracted, now I'm just numb to everything.
[ ] I live in a town called Kanata, it's in Canada and it's winter and it's so fucking cold
[ ] Literally nobody cares about me. Literally nobody
[ ] I have most of everything planned out already, just take a bunch of painkillers and put them in pancakes or something to make them taste better
[ ] I don't have anything to live for, I'm fucking stupid and my grades are trash. No amount of studying ever fixes this
[ ] Every minor thing that happens to me into a spiral of negative thoughts.
[ ] I have crippling anxiety that makes it so hard to do fucking anything
[ ] I'll never be able to live my teenage years to the fullest
[ ] No friends. | Can you give an example of a medical anxiety expression? |
zzzquil..? apparently drinking a shit ton of zzzquil with a shit ton of alcohol can kill you? does that actually work? I don't know if asking this would be against the rules but I just wanna know. like, I know that attempting to od might lead to just a fucked up kidney or liver so I find it odd that a cough syrup you can buy anywhere is lethal if you take enough. | What might a person say if they are experiencing medical anxiety? |
What's the point Currently sitting in my truck in a parking garage at a undisclosed casino... Where only good things happen. I used to work here lmao, I valeted from opening in June last year till Dec when they fired me for falling asleep on my lunch break during an overnight (First time getting in trouble). Havnt had a job since few interviews that didnt go well either bcs or my social anxiety and awkwardness or bcs i just got fired from a massive company. I am 23 and have already tried to kill my self once a year ago didnt work.. and went to a psych hospital for 10days which was alright i guess. Ive never had a girlfriend just girls I have feelings for but the feeling isnt mutual, just friends. The only girl i ever kissed i met in the hospital last year, she said all this shit about liking me and then we chill one day with her friend and they start hooking up in the backseat or my car while im driving... Theyre dating now. Dont know what i expected its not like i even remotely look good and this girl was is beautiful the two didnt add up but i guess it gave me some hope. shouldnt have.
My car insurance renews in april and my parents cant afford mine anymore bcs of having to pay the irs this year like 5k instead of a return, I dont have the $680 a week for insurance so Im pretty much stuck with losing my ability to drive until the points on my licenses go neutral in 2 years. A cherry ontop is at the casino my impulsive behavior and thoughts cucked me again this time for $1500 every dollar I had. All of this is my fault and i get that, and i get i shouldnt be complaining bcs others have it worse. But i legitimately am convinced i am a tumor to my family, friends, and people i love. I couldnt save my brother when he overdosed on heroin in 2007, I did the first time but the fuck relapsed. I couldnt help my cousin who was obviously not feeling good when i went to north North Carolina last, but a week after we leave he shot himself in the head. Its bullshit bcs the world would have been such a better place had I died and not either of them. I Just dont think i can keep doing this shit and dealing with the invasive thoughts and voices that tell me im a fucking loser and need to kill my self to make things right. I stole my friend who is a diabetics insulin, 200 units should do the job right? or 400 to seal the deal? I guess the reason for my post is bcs i dont want to call the suicide hotline bcs they are going to send the police i bet and at that point ill just run at them with my pocket knife and hopefully they will mag dump my ass | Can you provide a sentence that depicts medical anxiety? |
Should I do it? I’m asking in a rhetorical way but sometimes I feel like I should.
I have no one to blame for everything bad in my life but me. I feel like I’m a toxic person, I try hard to be alone but a lot of my friends are always around me. But then they complain about how mean I am and how sad I make them feel.
I feel like I’m an asshole and deserve to die alone, but they don’t leave me alone. It hurts a lot to be called an asshole all the time.
Idk how to change, I try my best to be nice and listen to all their problems. I try to do favors for them but it is never enough. I still get called an asshole. And what hurts the most is that I don’t know when I am being mean, I just suck as a person.
I know it is my fault, so why should I try to stay alive? Why should I keep ruining everyone’s life and happiness? | What could a person with medical anxiety say? |
Should I kill myself since no one wants to talk I mean I try to help people on here but the conversation never go anywhere after we talk for a bit, I’m not saying that I want a relationship, I just want a fuckin friend. Someone that just asks questions and doesn’t get bored after 20 minutes | What could a person with medical anxiety say? |
My rape case was dropped I don’t know why this keeps happening to me. Raped by my dad at 6. Raped by my brother at 15. Sexually assaulted at 18 by a stranger. Raped a couple months ago at 21 by a boy I met on ok Cupid. I don’t want to do this anymore. I hate myself. All of them were dropped by the police after the FBI investigated them. This keeps happening to me and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I am completely worthless and tainted. I’m so tired of trying | Can you provide an example of what someone with medical anxiety might say? |
Help. Last post wouldnt post. I'm ready with a rope In my hand a d my best friend on my lap(dog). Been with my girl 5 years and supposedto propose soon. But dont wantvto be here anymore. Stocks fucked me. What do? I'm legit fucked. | What is something a person with medical anxiety might say? |
Hahah I just feel like a totally piece of shit. I want to talk but talking don’t fix anything. I want to say who much of a shit I have been feeling my hole life to the entire world, I want to have attention and all but I already have friends and family that are supportive I have psy and all but it’s never an nought for my stupid fucking ass. I have every fucking thin and I still want more. WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO BE PERFECT WHY AM I NEVER AN NOUGHT FOR MY SELF WHY CAN’T I FUCKING DIE I CANNT CONTINUE FUCK FUCK FUCK I GAVE EVERYTHING ANY ONE COULD WANT AND I STILL WANNA DIE I AM THE WORST SHIT ON EARTH | What is a typical sentence said by someone experiencing medical anxiety? |
Can anyone help? Pretty please? Can anyone just tell me how to kill myself in 2 hours? I dont want to jump in front of the train so it has something in the house... I have no pills... How much does it hurt if i cut an artery? How much time till ill go numb and die? | What could a person say if they are suffering from medical anxiety? |
I'm a useless pile of garbage I cant do anything because of my anxiety and nothing seems to help it, I cant get a job, I have no aspirations whatsoever. I dont provide anything to society and it would be much better off without me | What is a typical sentence said by someone experiencing medical anxiety? |
My destiny I think i’m supposed to be dead. Tried once but it didn’t work. I was too pussy to jump. But I don’t see any future at all for myself. Probably my destiny to be dead and probably should have already been dead. Wonder what a gonna happen. | Can you provide an example of a sentence that someone with medical anxiety might say? |
I want to die. I want to live. (sorry for any typos or spelling errors or rambling. im freaking the fuck out)
I'm trapped between an intense urge to just end it all...despite understanding that "it gets better". I know there is happiness that seems just out of reach and time and effort may help me find it. These contradictory mindsets keep me in a purgatory of total inaction. I cannot accomplish anything when my will to live is constantly fluctuating. Im afraid that sooner or later my suicidal thoughts will overtake the rational/hopeful side of me.
Im in therapy, medicated, support groups etc. It's not working. I know there is something out there that may help, but Im terrified ill do something dumb before I find out. I do not trust myself.
After dropping out of school, quitting my job, and moving back in my parents home... my depressive, anxious and OCD thoughts have gotten unsurprisingly worse. Ive spent the past two years rotting away in my old childhood room, left to my own thought. I was once the life of the party, but I have slowly convinced myself that I am undeserving of friendship and have cut all ties from my relationships. I only interact with my parents, who are very supportive in getting me help and im grateful for that, but I dont want to overstay my welcome. They are the extent of my social life. Of course the family dog is there to keep me company she is great, though holy shit I need to become the social butterfly I once was.
Perhaps trauma from my childhood (not comfortable disclosing specifics) is to blame, but I feel i have worked on that in therapy to the point that I feel it is as resolved as it can be. There is no coherent thought or rationale for why Im a mess, just a sense of despair and doom that comes and goes without rhyme or reason. Days go by like minutes and everything is hazy.
These days I can barely leave the house with out having to take a xanax to keep me from panicking. Grocery shopping is a nerve-racking experience. These bouts of anxiety have kept me from even applying for a job, so my savings are dwindling so add that to the reasons to be depressed list.
Mostly I sleep, read, and watch TV. Its incredibly boring and Id rather not live like that, but the outside world is too much for my nerves. All this free time lets all of my dark thoughts and fears overtake every single moment of my conscious mind. Maybe I deserve to die? I certainly havent contributed anything to society. I exhaust my self with obsessive fears and phobias that I can barely focus on anything.
I miss my friends. I miss school. I miss my sense of autonomy. But despite my yearning the past couple years have worn out much of my energy to for taking any basic healthy initiatives.
Everything is foggy and I dont what to do. At this point cheesy platitudes from rando internet people is better than letting me bathe in my own thoughts. I dont even know what kind of first step I can take to get myself out of this rut and if I stay on this trajectory I can imagine surviving this year. | Can you give a sentence that reflects medical anxiety? |
Why not? I'm a fuck up and deserve to die. I keep on making mistakes. I keep being noisy so he cant sleep. I kept making a fuss and smoking around in the house. I should just kill myself. He's never happy around me and I just care to live. Two birds one stone. | What is an example of a spoken sentence that shows medical anxiety? |
i miss her i miss my sister so much. it was my fault she died i put too much stress on her. i was barely there when she was in hospice because i was too scared to see her suffering. i was selfish and now i would do anything to see her again, but i know even if i die i’m not gonna make it up to heaven with her | Can you provide an example of how someone might voice their medical anxiety? |
Not sure if I'm happy or numb, and I genuinely don't know if I'm at risk of suicide. I'd appreciate someone to talk to. I've started a new job recently, having dropped out of college due to anxiety and depression. I'm still struggling with those problems, and spent Wednesday dealing with obsessive suicidal thoughts. Everything I said about the future felt like a lie.
I have been staying at my parents home for a week, over the holiday. Generally when I've felt suicidal before it's been very emotion driven, and have been pretty unresponsive when talking with family and friends. However I've found it fine acting normally around people, even talking to people more than usual. I spoke to two people I generally don't talk to for long, for two hours. I want to talk to people, I can joke around, etc. I don't know if I'm happy, or if I feel empty and am just mimicking being okay and interacting with people to fill the emptiness. I don't know if I want to commit suicide, but I can't even think about going back to work on Thursday. It's like where you hold two magnets together at the same side, like an invisible field just makes it swerve away the closer I get to it. It doesn't feel like I'm going back. I've spent a lot of time researching mental hospitals, suicide, mental health, though I feel numb to it all. I want to get help, but I can't see how I can.
But I can function normally, in fact better than normal, so am I happy and just thinking of it all as a habit. I think I'm going to go and make myself throw up in the shower to see if it provokes an emotional reaction, but I'd really appreciate if someone would talk to me. Thank you, and sorry for the long post. | What is a sentence that shows a person is suffering from medical anxiety? |
Trinity of dreams Yesterday night I dreamt about my rape and was forced to defend myself against him. I killed him in the dream, a family member.
Last night I dreamt of my parents and the family rejection I had from being lgbt. I was forced to flee and they would follow, chasing me to take control back. I had to run and hide, argue, fight and scream to not be taken.
I don't know what dream comes next but it's likely going to be dysphoric as fuck and complete some Trinity of horror. I'm afraid to sleep. | How might a person express their medical anxiety in a statement? |
Dear mother, dear father; I am sorry, I have been a mistake. Ever since the inception of my life - or much rather ever since I can remember I have been cursed with the burden of my own consciousness - my life has been a downward spiral.
***
Mother, remember my question I had addressed you on that winter afternoon in 2001 (20-something of January it was) - as it could have been formulated by a 3 year old - when you took me out to the park? I do remember it as it has been yesterday, despite 18 years having passed since then; hell, I do remember the scenery exactly, the clothing I had on myself, and the sheer terror I experienced as I looked down to my hands having the fatalistic revelation of the self.
> Mother, what is the reason I am? Why do I have to be?
I cried out in what was probably one of the many anxiety attacks I would so much experience later in life.
Well, you did not give me an answer then, as I remember the shocked expression on your face when I addressed myself to you like that. Truth is that that very question has plagued me ever since, lingering in the depths of my subconscious mind, and like a parasitic worm eroding all semblances of normality and happiness (however delusional that concepts seems to be at this very moment), ever slightly with each passing year.
At moments I had behaved - or much rather presented an illusion - like any average child, as I grew up. I had hobbies, I had passions - however autistic they really were... Unfortunately I never had the chance of having some if any real friends in life. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was genetics, maybe it was the entourage that surrounded me... I don't know.
Remember the days when I came from school beaten up and crying? It was my fault, for I never stood up for myself... Remember the day they have announced who the school valedictorian was? It was my fault, for I ended up in second place... Remember the day I got accepted - at what I thought it was my dream college? It was my fault for not realizing what a failure it will become for me; I did not even like what I did with that, but I guess the promise of a stable workplace was more appealing than my own comfort.
Looking in retrospect, all my life was a bad decision after another, failure that lead to more failure... And as a reaction I became ever more so reclusive and isolated from existence.
You asked me, why I spent all my change and all my savings on philosophy books, and fanatically began reading them in my spare time. Well, I guess, I tried to find meaning in what the wisdom of those who came before us. Well, I found only empty words and talking for talking's sake... the more I read, the more disconnected from any sort of sense and purpose I have become; all became only repeating patterns in the great canvass of nothingness; conclusions that were sometimes so evident...
As Sisyphus, with my own consciousness I have also been cursed by the gods. Oh, but Camus' nativity, so intoxicating. As if purpose has not turned itself into anything else than mere delusion.
***
Mother, Father; thank you for the beautiful moments we have spent together, thank you for all the occasions - however ephemeral they were - you were the only people in my life whom I had a connection with, who have accepted me for everything that I was; perhaps were sometimes even proud... despite me being at an impossibility to understand pride for an individual as mediocre as myself.
Perhaps that is the reason I became so sad and alienated from existence itself, my own mediocrity; my own incapacity to excel in anything, no matter the effort I had put into it. There was always someone, somewhere who was better. And honestly, at one point my drive to ever improve on anything that I did faded and faded, and look at me now. A wreck, a shell, a ghost. I cannot fight my own fate.
I'm sorry I cannot be right now with you; but soon enough I will be finally free. And maybe, if the delusion of religion is in fact no delusion at all, maybe who knows, we will meet again? | Can you give a sentence that reflects medical anxiety? |
Don't wanna call 9-1-1. I tried but I couldn't cut deep blood is still coming out and I am regretting it! Blood is coming down slowly , and I don't wanna talk to my mother, she is like in kitchen right now. She is making breakfast probably. | What is an example of a phrase from a person with medical anxiety? |
Bought $90k of PG&E stock at $17, sold at $7. Now it's back up and I just want to die I bought $90k shares worth of PG&E almost 2 weeks ago @ $17.7 per share. Then it tumbled, and last week I sold my 5000 shares of PG&E stock last week for $7. I was crying at that point and thought that would be the end of it. TOday, things somehow got worse. They announced today that PG&E would not be liable for the CA wildfires. The stock has recovered to $14. I literally sold at $7 for nothing and now have a firm, realized loss of -$55,000. I just want to die, fucking kill me oh my god | Can you give an example of what someone anxious about their health might say? |
I’m 15 and honestly just have no will to live anymore It’s like... one good thing happens and then a million shitty things happen and I can’t seem to get one moment where I am ever truly happy. Then I’m constantly anxious and paranoid, plus I’ve been hallucinating.
What’s the point? The only reason I’ve stayed here past 12 years old is because of my sister and now she’s a little brat who hates me because all I do is stay in bed. My parents don’t say it but I know they are disappointed and wish I was a better child.
All I have is my girlfriend who I can’t even say is my gf because her fucking ex might swoop her off her feet again before I get the chance to even kiss her for the first time.
I can’t open up to anyone close to me because to me it’s not opening up it’s just dumping all my problems on them.
I just wish I didn’t fucking exist, that people didn’t care about me and that I could die, or start self-harming in peace again. I mean I did relapse but I can’t even relapse on my wrist so I doesn’t hurt as bad I have to cut on my thighs.
I just want it to be over. All of it. My depression, my anxiety, my fucking undiagnosed shit, my family problems, I wish that my ex had never molested me. I just want it to be over and I can’t talk to anyone but internet strangers about it. I’m pathetic. | Can you provide a quote from someone dealing with medical anxiety? |
When can I do it? When is it ok? I'm so tired and hurting so much. I hate existing amd I despise myself. I just want it over. Im so uncomfortable being me. I crave death. I have a gun and can do it any night but I keep pussying out. I keep wondering if theres sokething im missing but there never is and ive been doing this for a year. Its scary as theres no coming back or changing your mind. | Can you give an example of a sentence spoken by someone with medical anxiety? |
I am alone and want to disappear Not sure what to title or write here. I don’t feel right, I’m lonely, I’m alone, I’m bored of this life. I’m too chicken to kill myself but man I want to so bad. My last request is to just talk to someone maybe or I’m not. Maybe this wasn’t the place to go but maybe it’ll turn out alright. There’s a glimpse of hope but I am hopeless. I’m sorry. | How might a person describe their medical anxiety in a sentence? |
Going to finally do it. I’m finally going to do it I’m finally going to go through with this. A little info about me. I’m 24 recently divorced, working and trying to be a good citizen. However I’m being convicted with 1 count of criminal mischief worth $1,500 for damaging my ex’s car during our separation. I’m also being charged with 1 count of criminal mischief worth $1,500, 1 count of stalking worth one year in jail, and 1 count of 2nd degree trespassing worth 1 year in jail for urinating on my ex’s car during the early morning before work. All of these charges are misdemeanor offenses, I don’t want to go to jail. I’m starting to finally turn my life around and now this has been put on me. I won’t go to jail. I know this is karma’s way of getting back at me for all I’ve done wrong in my long and terrible past, but I can’t do this. I won’t do it I’m going to accept my defeat and finally let everyone else win. I know this might be terrible for friends and family that may care but now I’m screwed and so I’m going to admit it and just end it all save the court, my attorney, my family, my friends, and my ex wife the trouble of thinking and worrying about me. It’s time that I finally go and save everyone a huge burden. | What is a common sentence said by someone with medical anxiety? |
I really don't know how I'm going to live much longer I think I'm hitting my breaking point, which sounds weird to say as I already have 2 suicide attempts in the last two years. I did promise myself that I'd try everything to fix my life before doing that again, but here I am and nothing has changed. Things just keep getting worse and spiraling out of control.
I've been in therapy for over 2 months, which is probably the only thing that is helping right now. My therapist is great and my thinking process is beginning to change and I've learned things about myself, but it still doesn't make me want to kill myself any less. I still feel completely hopeless.
I've been taking antidepressants for 3 weeks now, and they aren't working at all. They say it needs 2-4 weeks to work completely, but I haven't noticed a difference. Maybe I'm just too depressed.
I'm at the point where I'm open to the idea of going to the hospital, but I'm not even sure what that will do. I feel like I will let my therapist know when I'm feeling unsafe, or admit myself to the hospital when it gets to that point. I've even been extremely open with her regarding my suicidal thoughts.
But after a possible trip to the hospital, or the next few weeks, I don't even know. It does feel like I'm going to die. I think I've officially hit the point of no return. | How might a person describe their medical anxiety in a sentence? |
I want to die... I'm abused have no social skills have social anxiety and many other illnesses. I tried going to a online therapist and he did not believe me that I was extremely depressed I want to kill myself. People did this to me. | Can you give an example of a medical anxiety expression? |
I don’t want to keep fighting I guess I’m here, pathetic but yeah. Throwaway account because people I know are on Reddit and I don’t want them knowing I’m struggling. Also sorry if this is a little scattered, I didn’t sleep much last night and so I’m kinda off brain wise, haha. I’ve been doing well lately, was at a high point for a little while. But today after an argument with a friend I self harmed again after nearly a year “clean”. I guess I reached a numbness point again because I’m curled up in a corner just not really feeling. I was abused as a kid and I’m afraid I’m just continuing the cycle now because I’m always ending up in an argument somehow, and it’s always my fault. I don’t know. I haven’t eaten today and I don’t intend to, I’m fat enough as it is. I just want to sleep and not wake up. 19f if anyone cares, I don’t know why you would though. | What might a person say to express their medical anxiety? |
I'm desperately asking for help A beloved one died unexpectedly lately and now I'm desperate to find him, I feel so lonely and I don't know what I'm doing anymore I expected to die from sadness the night after his burial but it didn't happened and now I just sleep all day hopping I won't wake up I'm 23 and really I don't want to keep going bc nothing good is gonna come! Everyone tells me it won't stop hurting it's me who'll learn to live with the pain but I don't want I-dont-know-how-much-more-time here without him
I held his hand until the box was shut close and they put him down I want to be with him I am afraid of life from now on and yes I have reasons to keep alive but..... I miss him so much
I know nobody can give him back to me and there's no actual thing someone can say to lift some weight from my heart but I want help bc if there's any chance of him watching me I want him to be happy that I'm okay | Can you provide an example of a sentence that indicates medical anxiety? |
I might get kicked out of college. I got suspended after my first year due to academic problems caused by trauma/ocd/depression. after some intense therapy for ocd during my suspension I went back. I did ok that semester, raised my gpa a bit.
this semester should have been easy. my ocd is better. my mood is better. everything in my life is better. I should have been able to raise my gpa to like, an acceptable number. But i am an idiot.
I'm not stupid, I show up to class, I learn, I can tell you a lot about all these classes I'm probably about to fail actually, but I have so much difficulty with homework. getting things done on time. i've looked into disability services before but applying for that is a level of task completion I cannot handle.
I'm kind of just surviving until therapy monday. additionally there's like 4 separate pressing social issues I dont have the social/emotional maturity to address and really cant think about anything but school right now. One more exam.
idk I just need to vent. thanks if you read this. i cant actually kill myself any time soon bc that would probably upset my roommate and also would probably require quite a lot of motivation/planning/task completion. Just really fucking overwhelmed. | What is an example of a sentence that shows someone is experiencing medical anxiety? |
I'm a delusional schizophrenic. This illness has ruined me and my life. Because of my illness I am unable to work. I have tried to utilize my illness and make it into a strength or some kind of profession, to no avail. I can't afford to live on my own. My family and friends have tried their best. And at times I've made two steps ahead, but it always ends up with three or four steps back.
My delusions confuse the shit out of people. People are scared of me or consider me retarded, which I probably am, but my delusion makes me believe otherwise.
While I am struggling to survive I look around me and see everyone else struggling, barely able to help themselves. How could I even consider staying a burden on the people I love, when I know they will feel unburdened once I'm gone.
Anywho, Thank you all. Mankind is a beautiful species, we just need to prevent people that are evil to constantly push the good people aside. Meðvirkni er ekki hjálpsamleg.
Goodbye everyone, Reddit has given me many laughs, scares, confusion and enlightenment and so much more emotions.
Time to find out what the hell is on the other side of that tunnel. | What is a sentence that reflects the thoughts of someone with medical anxiety? |
Dont want him to think it was his fault. hi, I am really desperate to die tonight. Things have just gotten too bad and I live in fear. I am tired of it no matter what I do I will always be under this awful blanket of terror. My mother is an abuser, and I've come to terms with it. she told me today she feels absolutely no empathy, no remorse, nothing for ANYTHING. she said it while she was laughing and then told me to go fuck off . She just constantly spits in my face and invades my space and treats me like I am subhuman, she will never let me go and i am too stupidly dependent on her to ever hope of life outside. i don't even have my fucking drivers license and i am 19. the horrible terror she makes me feel on top of all the depression is just too much, even at college she threatens to "show up and make a scene" because she wants me gone but not for *too* long. she always says people to who commit suicide go to hell. i dont fucking care anymore i just want this nightmare of a life to end. if i go to hell so be it, as long as shes not there.
to the point, a guy i was seeing since like december is abroad this term. i love him a lot, idk if he loves me back, or just thinks of us as Fwb or something honestly I dont care because I would do anything for him and I love him so much, he is really the only reason i made it this far, he gave me a lot of reason to believe in life. He is so level headed and he might not love me but i am hopelessly devoted to him. i already wrote him a note saying none of this was his fault but i am terrified he will think he played some part in it for some really dumb reason like he was teasing me today about some mundane thing but i love him so much and he had nothing to do with why i would commit suicide. i dont know whether to write it all out about the abuse so someone KNOWS why it happened or if that would just make me seem like a stupid brat like i am. i dont know. i just want him to know it wasnt his fault but i dont want to go outright and say it to him while i am alive because then he might realize i am planning on dying and that would just make everything so much worse. | Can you give a sentence that reflects medical anxiety? |
Why shouldnt i kill myself? Itd be so easy i have the gun sitting in front of me. clearly i have no one to ask for help since im asking a bunch of random people why i shouldn't kill myself. my mom dosnt care, I've told her i want to kill myself and she just ignores me, i had a job but quit a year ago and none of the people i thought were my friends have even texted me since. im too socially introverted to go see a psychiatrist even though i know i should. i also dont want to go because it would ruin any chances of joining the miilitary which is all ive ever wanted to do. i dont see a way out of this even though im scared of the nothing after death. i just want someone to care. i just want to be normal. | Can you provide an example of how someone might voice their medical anxiety? |
Been thinking every day about it... it’s not feeling like such a scary idea. I’m caring less and less every day.
I know I should ask for help.
But I’m not going to.
| Can you provide a quote from someone dealing with medical anxiety? |
I don't know where to post this, but I'm getting frustrated I can't fucking die. I've done research, I have tried hanging myself last year, but the one thing I can't fucking do is jump.
I live in a seaside town there's plenty of fucking cliffs about.
I know I can't hang myself I can't tie knots properly cause of my dyspraxia.
I' have CPTSD and Psychotic symptoms this is going to be my life even when I do get help my meds aren't helping anyway.
I'm done but there's no way out. | What might a person say to express their medical anxiety? |
I was in a car accident I had a car accident 3 days ago. A drunk driver hit my car from behind. I swerved across the road and into the woods.
I didn't hit a tree, there were no oncoming cars in that second. Change any minor detail and I'd be dead.
For some people that's the moment that inspires them to turn their life around and appreciate being alive.
For me it did the exact opposite. I don't feel lucky at all. I don't even have anyone to tell about this.
When I told work I'm not coming in they told me to get a doctor's note and hung up.
Now, when driving I daydream about driving straight into the trees next to the road. I'm living life on autopilot even more than before.
This is just so depressing idk | Can you provide an example of how someone might voice their medical anxiety? |
Vyvanse overdose?? I have a few 30mg tablets. I’m 5’2 and weigh like 132 lbs or something like that, healthy BMI.. how much mg do I need to end it all? No bullshit like “ don’t kill yourself xDddd “ hopefully I get helpful responses | Can you give an example of a medical anxiety expression? |
I really don't see the point in living I have been suicidal for the majority of my life. I go through times where I don't think about it as much, but this is not one of those times.
I think about ending it nearly every day. I tried to cut myself last week but I'm such a screw up that I couldn't even do that right. I barely broke the skin.
I just want to disappear and stop existing entirely. I don't necessarily want to go through the whole process of suicide but I certainly don't want to live in this world any longer. I know that there are people who love me, but I do not get love from the people I want it from the most. The smallest things make me suicidal. It is torture to live like this.
I know my family and friends will be sad, but I've had chronic mental illness all my life and so many issues that this will probably be better for them in the long run. They will not have to deal with my annoying suffering anymore. And if I do continue living, what do I have to live for? I'd have to work for the rest of my life in a world that the human race is actively destroying.
I feel like a coward for being suicidal for so long and still not doing it. I have tried, but I can't succeed in anything so of course I even failed in killing myself. At least I tried to live, but that is just another thing I cannot do right. | How might someone with medical anxiety phrase their feelings? |
3 hours I get off of work in three hours. When I get home I think I’m gonna dip. Woah 21.5 years of life and I’d never thought I’d be at this point but I think it’s my time to go, y’anno? idk how to start saying goodbye to people without drawing suspicion. | What is a sentence that reflects the thoughts of someone with medical anxiety? |
I feel like I just want it all to be over I've had suicidal thoughts before, thought about them when I was a kid and my stepdad would hit my mother and come after me, she would always protect me. I used to lay in the bathtub and just hold my breath, hoping I would just pass out and drown, I was 11. I'm 23 now, this has been one of the hardest years of my life, my ex broke up with me for his ex, than I lost my job, than I lost our house. I moved in with some friends and started smoking alot of pot with them, doing some LSD sometimes, it was nice to disappear and not feel anything. Than I was raped in July, I was so high and I was catfished and I never thought it could happen, I could always defend myself is what I thought, but I was so gone. It's like I didn't exist though, it was like a foggy nightmare but everything felt too real. I tried to find help, I tried calling hotlines. My stupid fucking brain still thinks about it, I can feel everything like its still happening, sometimes I just freeze and I can't handle it. Only the lady from the hotline knows these words, I can't tell my family. My friends moved to New York and I thought what a great idea, start somewhere new and fresh, get away from where I was. My depression has just gotten worse though, the nightmares come when I'm awake, I always used to say I could never go through with suicide, but I find that strength fading each day. I'm not religious. I don't think anything happens once your dead just your done. I just want to be done. I want my mind to rest and stop. Nothing for eternity would be better than the constant letdown of waking up. | Can you provide a quote from someone dealing with medical anxiety? |
I don't feel comfortable about asking for help I'm 16 and have been feeling depressed for almost a year. I've half-heartedly tried to die multiple times throughout this. I've only ever told one person about all this, who proceeded to leave. I don't want to talk anyone about this yet if I don't, I feel like I'm going to continue to half-heartedly try to end things, which only makes me feel worse. How do I fix this. | Can you give an example of a sentence spoken by someone with medical anxiety? |
literally all I ever had is gone, from dreams to physical objects to health Chronically ill, badly
I've got no friends, cause i was always inside.
My parents are incredibly stubborn, narcissistic people that have called me every name in the book, almost like you wouldnt believe it so foul.
I live alone, so thats okay.
But i'm tired of living this way. But...my illness is forever.
Now i'm also feeling (andlooking) like absolute dogshit, which robbed me of my confidence , and physically i'm an old man at 32. I 'm still traumatized cause i have huge ugly lump on my forehead from nice ol dad beating the fuck out of me, and its there forever. Imagine walking around with a tennis ball on your head. "sexy summer time" it aint gonna be. They laugh at me. They FUCKING LAUGH AT ME BEING SICK. Or they harass the specialists in the hospital that i'm lying or this or that, or drug addiction (which i do NOT have, i dont even drink). And oh, all the beatings never happend guys! i'm just lying.
I dont want to wake up anymore.
I've visited countless specialists, and yes also those mindwizards they call therapists, psychiatrists. I'm either hopped up on medication or burning through immesurable pain when i dont take m cause i dont like m.
I was abused mentally and physically, almost tortured for years as a kid and as a sick adult. Beaten up, spit on...hell again you wouldnt believe it, cause thats their power, these two lied to every doc in the book, even recently, calling them saying i'm on "heroin" or whatever. Tried lawyers, ....nothing. Meanwhile my mom thinks i'm a russian spy cause her brain is fried from drinking. So thats my "help" if i need a chill conversation.
I'm over it guys.
I have been feeling absolutely horrendously down since i was a kid being with these people.
I'm done.
My future will consist of not hearing, not being able to walk, having no family or friends, and even if i were to be magically healthy again, i still couldnt function because of what my own parents did to me.
I never knew why. I have theories: My parents are absolute snobs. My brother is rich, and i also finished a university degree while i was already very sick. An enormous accomplishment even if i say so myself.
You would think they would be proud and then let me heal to a functioning level.
Well no, they actively ruined my life cause i couldnt make it through my lawyer internship, stalked the friends I had, and have friends within the legal system and the cops.
It was their thing you know. "we bought a new leather handmade couch for 20 000 euros, but fuck my sons life who has nothing at all and btw dad can you teach him a lesson?"
I'm sure they are sadists. They are alcoholics but they dont care. They never did.
They are leaving for another rich luxurious vacation spanning three different countries. I'm moving in their place to take care of their pets, cause i have to cause else they'll just let m rot and they are cute little pets.
I'm thinking of killing myself while i'm at their house. Cause they ruined me. I'm doing it on the carpet that costs 6 times as much as my medical costs that could have helped me way, way back . I remember my doctor saying , with urge: "your son has clustermigraines, he has to live in a quiet place without fighting, his hart cant take it any more, and neither can his head . " They dumped me in a moldy caravan with no heat, while they themselves have two houses in France, one in Spain and actually, a luxurious motorhome with enough space for five people. "Too good for a dirty loser like yourself".I dont want to live anymore, I actually dont.
I'm thinking of either bolting this country and spending my last years on some tropical island, but i'm broke, and to sick to even travel. I wake up....and there goes my struggle again to make to one hour after i wake up without hating that i 'm awake again. There is nothing for me to do, nothing besides sitting and having pain. I whish i had the knowdlegde and the power to bolt cause i'd take a plane to wherever and just write a letter "you will never see me again, you are welcome"
I'm so tired . So fucking tired.
TLDR: Being ill is a reason enough to kill me, my family just pushed me into the edge. | Can you provide an example of a sentence that expresses medical anxiety? |
I can't stop the intrusive thoughts that tell me to kill myself. I'm so done with these thoughts and living with trauma that keeps taking me down. I feel like there's no way of improving things, my life just remains as chaos no matter what I try to do, it's just balancing between being on sickleave and surviving. I want to end everything. | What would a person say to convey their medical anxiety? |
I've had suicidal thoughts for about 3 years now... Ever since 2015 I've been having thoughts of self harm, suicide, and even homicide. I know it's selfish to kill myself but I feel like I can't go on anymore. My life is just a wreck and it doesn't seem like it will get better. | What is an example of a phrase from a person with medical anxiety? |
Everything is getting worse. Ive been getting abused since i was 3. Cops wont do shit about it. Im failing all my classes. I cant think properly. Ive always had toxic traits, but for a while i was bettering myself. Then i got worse. Then i was good. Then it got worse again. I am tired of the way i treat people. Its like no matter how much i try, i use being mean and rude as a defense mechanism and that causes me to be such a shitty person. Im cutting off communication with everyone for a few weeks with no explanation. I also think that someone is using me as a replacement for one of their ex friends, or as a distraction, whether theyre doing it subconsciously or not. I care about this person so much but they dont feel the same. Ive tried to overdose before, about 60 pills, nothing happened. Its been 7 or 8 months. I wish i died that day. I have 2 different set dates. If things dont get better by May, i’ll kill myself. If i cant do it then, then i have a date set for august. I cant take this. Maybe then my abusive family will understand what they put me through. | What is a sentence that reflects the thoughts of someone with medical anxiety? |
Everyone says they are better off without me. Makes me want to commit suicide | Can you give an example of a sentence said by a person expressing medical anxiety? |
impulsivity and everything has diminishing returns Hello. this my first time posting.
&#x200B;
I feel like I'm slowly crawling to a point where I do not enjoy anything. I have these episodes of intense impulsive boredom. I hyperventilate and think about a sweet release from anxiety that death would be. I believe I am unintelligent because of memory issues at the age of 21. I can barely think or concentrate. CBT therapy requires that I be involved and I am so forgetful and inattentive that it just doesn't work. don't blame me. I feel a rising sense of every media becoming cliche, ironic, and unenjoyable. I feel like everything repeats itself. I got ocd, ged, depression, Aspergers syndrome, adhd, and panic attacks. I believe it is my ethical right to take my own life. I want people to stop guilt tripping me because I want to die. I feel like I will never truly be happy and that I'm severely disabled And have difficulty with activities of daily living. I can't even find a job that is suited to my low effective intelligence and anxiety while making enough to not live with my parents and they want me out. | Can you give an example of what someone anxious about their health might say? |
bluegreen vacations will definitely be in my suicide note They scammed my hard working mom who works 50+ hours a week by telling her "you can give your family the vacation you couldn't afford otherwise" fucking bullshit
The salesman knew they were selling her bullshit just like they sold other vulnerable people bullshit. How could someone be so cruel to their fellow human beings
Their bogus sales tactic of selling timeshares and/or useless vacation points and preying on the vulnerable has to fucking stop | Can you give an example of a sentence said by a person expressing medical anxiety? |