Complex sentence: Travers wrote that Edmonds was willing to accept some criticism by interested parties, to whom drafts were circulated and make amendments and that Edmonds became increasingly protective of Haig's reputation and noticeably autocratic in his dealings with the other historians.
Split into simpler sentences: Travers wrote that Edmonds was willing to accept some criticism by interested parties, to whom drafts were circulated and make amendments. Travers also considered that Edmonds became increasingly protective of Haig's reputation and noticeably autocratic in his dealings with the other historians.