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BIONDELLO: Where have I been!
Nay, how now!
where are you?
Master, has my fellow Tranio stolen your clothes?
Or you stolen his?
or both?
pray, what's the news?
LUCENTIO: Sirrah, come hither: 'tis no time to jest, And therefore frame your manners to the time.
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life, Puts my apparel and my countenance on, And I for my escape have put on his; For in a quarrel since I came ashore I kill'd a man and fear I was descried: Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes, While I make way from hence to save my life: You understand me?
BIONDELLO: I, sir!
ne'er a whit.
LUCENTIO: And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth: Tranio is changed into Lucentio.
BIONDELLO: The better for him: would I were so too!
TRANIO: So could I, faith, boy, to have the next wish after, That Lucentio indeed had Baptista's youngest daughter.
But, sirrah, not for my sake, but your master's, I advise You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies: When I am alone, why, then I am Tranio; But in all places else your master Lucentio.
LUCENTIO: Tranio, let's go: one thing more rests, that thyself execute, to make one among these wooers: if thou ask me why, sufficeth, my reasons are both good and weighty.
First Servant: My lord, you nod; you do not mind the play.
SLY: Yes, by Saint Anne, do I.
A good matter, surely: comes there any more of it?
Page: My lord, 'tis but begun.
SLY: 'Tis a very excellent piece of work, madam lady: would 'twere done!
PETRUCHIO: Verona, for a while I take my leave, To see my friends in Padua, but of all My best beloved and approved friend, Hortensio; and I trow this is his house.
Here, sirrah Grumio; knock, I say.
GRUMIO: Knock, sir!
whom should I knock?
is there man has rebused your worship?
PETRUCHIO: Villain, I say, knock me here soundly.
GRUMIO: Knock you here, sir!
why, sir, what am I, sir, that I should knock you here, sir?
PETRUCHIO: Villain, I say, knock me at this gate And rap me well, or I'll knock your knave's pate.
GRUMIO: My master is grown quarrelsome.
I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst.
PETRUCHIO: Will it not be?
Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll ring it; I'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
GRUMIO: Help, masters, help!
my master is mad.
PETRUCHIO: Now, knock when I bid you, sirrah villain!
HORTENSIO: How now!
what's the matter?
My old friend Grumio!
and my good friend Petruchio!
How do you all at Verona?
PETRUCHIO: Signior Hortensio, come you to part the fray?
'Con tutto il cuore, ben trovato,' may I say.
HORTENSIO: 'Alla nostra casa ben venuto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio.'
Rise, Grumio, rise: we will compound this quarrel.
GRUMIO: Nay, 'tis no matter, sir, what he 'leges in Latin.
if this be not a lawful case for me to leave his service, look you, sir, he bid me knock him and rap him soundly, sir: well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps, for aught I see, two and thirty, a pip out?
Whom would to God I had well knock'd at first, Then had not Grumio come by the worst.
PETRUCHIO: A senseless villain!
Good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate And could not get him for my heart to do it.
GRUMIO: Knock at the gate!
O heavens!
Spake you not these words plain, 'Sirrah, knock me here, rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly'?
And come you now with, 'knocking at the gate'?
PETRUCHIO: Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you.
HORTENSIO: Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge: Why, this's a heavy chance 'twixt him and you, Your ancient, trusty, pleasant servant Grumio.
And tell me now, sweet friend, what happy gale Blows you to Padua here from old Verona?
PETRUCHIO: Such wind as scatters young men through the world, To seek their fortunes farther than at home Where small experience grows.
But in a few, Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me: Antonio, my father, is deceased; And I have thrust myself into this maze, Haply to wive and thrive as best I may: Crowns in my purse I have and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world.
HORTENSIO: Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favour'd wife?
Thou'ldst thank me but a little for my counsel: And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich And very rich: but thou'rt too much my friend, And I'll not wish thee to her.
PETRUCHIO: Signior Hortensio, 'twixt such friends as we Few words suffice; and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, As wealth is burden of my wooing dance, Be she as foul as was Florentius' love, As old as Sibyl and as curst and shrewd As Socrates' Xanthippe, or a worse, She moves me not, or not removes, at least, Affection's edge in me, were she as rough As are the swelling Adriatic seas: I come to wive it wealthily in Padua; If wealthily, then happily in Padua.
GRUMIO: Nay, look you, sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: Why give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby; or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses: why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal.
HORTENSIO: Petruchio, since we are stepp'd thus far in, I will continue that I broach'd in jest.
I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife With wealth enough and young and beauteous, Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman: Her only fault, and that is faults enough, Is that she is intolerable curst And shrewd and froward, so beyond all measure That, were my state far worser than it is, I would not wed her for a mine of gold.
PETRUCHIO: Hortensio, peace!
thou know'st not gold's effect: Tell me her father's name and 'tis enough; For I will board her, though she chide as loud As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.
HORTENSIO: Her father is Baptista Minola, An affable and courteous gentleman: Her name is Katharina Minola, Renown'd in Padua for her scolding tongue.
PETRUCHIO: I know her father, though I know not her; And he knew my deceased father well.
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her; And therefore let me be thus bold with you To give you over at this first encounter, Unless you will accompany me thither.
GRUMIO: I pray you, sir, let him go while the humour lasts.
O' my word, an she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him: she may perhaps call him half a score knaves or so: why, that's nothing; an he begin once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks.
I'll tell you what sir, an she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face and so disfigure her with it that she shall have no more eyes to see withal than a cat.
You know him not, sir.
HORTENSIO: Tarry, Petruchio, I must go with thee, For in Baptista's keep my treasure is: He hath the jewel of my life in hold, His youngest daughter, beautiful Binaca, And her withholds from me and other more, Suitors to her and rivals in my love, Supposing it a thing impossible, For those defects I have before rehearsed, That ever Katharina will be woo'd; Therefore this order hath Baptista ta'en, That none shall have access unto Bianca Till Katharina the curst have got a husband.
GRUMIO: Katharina the curst!
A title for a maid of all titles the worst.
HORTENSIO: Now shall my friend Petruchio do me grace, And offer me disguised in sober robes To old Baptista as a schoolmaster Well seen in music, to instruct Bianca; That so I may, by this device, at least Have leave and leisure to make love to her And unsuspected court her by herself.
GRUMIO: Here's no knavery!
See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together!
Master, master, look about you: who goes there, ha?
HORTENSIO: Peace, Grumio!
it is the rival of my love.
Petruchio, stand by a while.
GRUMIO: A proper stripling and an amorous!
GREMIO: O, very well; I have perused the note.
Hark you, sir: I'll have them very fairly bound: All books of love, see that at any hand; And see you read no other lectures to her: You understand me: over and beside Signior Baptista's liberality, I'll mend it with a largess.
Take your paper too, And let me have them very well perfumed For she is sweeter than perfume itself To whom they go to.
What will you read to her?
LUCENTIO: Whate'er I read to her, I'll plead for you As for my patron, stand you so assured, As firmly as yourself were still in place: Yea, and perhaps with more successful words Than you, unless you were a scholar, sir.
GREMIO: O this learning, what a thing it is!
GRUMIO: O this woodcock, what an ass it is!
PETRUCHIO: Peace, sirrah!
HORTENSIO: Grumio, mum!
God save you, Signior Gremio.
GREMIO: And you are well met, Signior Hortensio.
Trow you whither I am going?
To Baptista Minola.
I promised to inquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca: And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man, for learning and behavior Fit for her turn, well read in poetry And other books, good ones, I warrant ye.