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Messenger: Your honour's players, heating your amendment, Are come to play a pleasant comedy; For so your doctors hold it very meet, Seeing too much sadness hath congeal'd your blood, And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy: Therefore they thought it good you hear a play And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.
SLY: Marry, I will, let them play it.
Is not a comondy a Christmas gambold or a tumbling-trick?
Page: No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff.
SLY: What, household stuff?
Page: It is a kind of history.
SLY: Well, well see't.
Come, madam wife, sit by my side and let the world slip: we shall ne'er be younger.
LUCENTIO: Tranio, since for the great desire I had To see fair Padua, nursery of arts, I am arrived for fruitful Lombardy, The pleasant garden of great Italy; And by my father's love and leave am arm'd With his good will and thy good company, My trusty servant, well approved in all, Here let us breathe and haply institute A course of learning and ingenious studies.
Pisa renown'd for grave citizens Gave me my being and my father first, A merchant of great traffic through the world, Vincetino come of Bentivolii.
Vincetino's son brought up in Florence It shall become to serve all hopes conceived, To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds: And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study, Virtue and that part of philosophy Will I apply that treats of happiness By virtue specially to be achieved.
Tell me thy mind; for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come, as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.
TRANIO: Mi perdonato, gentle master mine, I am in all affected as yourself; Glad that you thus continue your resolve To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.
Only, good master, while we do admire This virtue and this moral discipline, Let's be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray; Or so devote to Aristotle's cheques As Ovid be an outcast quite abjured: Balk logic with acquaintance that you have And practise rhetoric in your common talk; Music and poesy use to quicken you; The mathematics and the metaphysics, Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you; No profit grows where is no pleasure ta'en: In brief, sir, study what you most affect.
LUCENTIO: Gramercies, Tranio, well dost thou advise.
If, Biondello, thou wert come ashore, We could at once put us in readiness, And take a lodging fit to entertain Such friends as time in Padua shall beget.
But stay a while: what company is this?
TRANIO: Master, some show to welcome us to town.
BAPTISTA: Gentlemen, importune me no farther, For how I firmly am resolved you know; That is, not bestow my youngest daughter Before I have a husband for the elder: If either of you both love Katharina, Because I know you well and love you well, Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure.
GREMIO: KATHARINA: I pray you, sir, is it your will To make a stale of me amongst these mates?
HORTENSIO: Mates, maid!
how mean you that?
no mates for you, Unless you were of gentler, milder mould.
KATHARINA: I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear: I wis it is not half way to her heart; But if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool And paint your face and use you like a fool.
HORTENSIA: From all such devils, good Lord deliver us!
GREMIO: And me too, good Lord!
TRANIO: Hush, master!
here's some good pastime toward: That wench is stark mad or wonderful froward.
LUCENTIO: But in the other's silence do I see Maid's mild behavior and sobriety.
Peace, Tranio!
TRANIO: Well said, master; mum!
and gaze your fill.
BAPTISTA: Gentlemen, that I may soon make good What I have said, Bianca, get you in: And let it not displease thee, good Bianca, For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl.
KATHARINA: A pretty peat!
it is best Put finger in the eye, an she knew why.
BIANCA: Sister, content you in my discontent.
Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books and instruments shall be my company, On them to took and practise by myself.
LUCENTIO: Hark, Tranio!
thou may'st hear Minerva speak.
HORTENSIO: Signior Baptista, will you be so strange?
Sorry am I that our good will effects Bianca's grief.
GREMIO: Why will you mew her up, Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell, And make her bear the penance of her tongue?
BAPTISTA: Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolved: Go in, Bianca: And for I know she taketh most delight In music, instruments and poetry, Schoolmasters will I keep within my house, Fit to instruct her youth.
If you, Hortensio, Or Signior Gremio, you, know any such, Prefer them hither; for to cunning men I will be very kind, and liberal To mine own children in good bringing up: And so farewell.
Katharina, you may stay; For I have more to commune with Bianca.
KATHARINA: Why, and I trust I may go too, may I not?
What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike, I knew not what to take and what to leave, ha?
GREMIO: You may go to the devil's dam: your gifts are so good, here's none will hold you.
Their love is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out: our cakes dough on both sides.
Farewell: yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.
HORTENSIO: So will I, Signior Gremio: but a word, I pray.
Though the nature of our quarrel yet never brooked parle, know now, upon advice, it toucheth us both, that we may yet again have access to our fair mistress and be happy rivals in Bianco's love, to labour and effect one thing specially.
GREMIO: What's that, I pray?
HORTENSIO: Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister.
GREMIO: A husband!
a devil.
HORTENSIO: I say, a husband.
GREMIO: I say, a devil.
Thinkest thou, Hortensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell?
HORTENSIO: Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience and mine to endure her loud alarums, why, man, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and money enough.
GREMIO: I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition, to be whipped at the high cross every morning.
HORTENSIO: Faith, as you say, there's small choice in rotten apples.
But come; since this bar in law makes us friends, it shall be so far forth friendly maintained all by helping Baptista's eldest daughter to a husband we set his youngest free for a husband, and then have to't a fresh.
Sweet Bianca!
Happy man be his dole!
He that runs fastest gets the ring.
How say you, Signior Gremio?
GREMIO: I am agreed; and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woo her, wed her and bed her and rid the house of her!
Come on.
TRANIO: I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible That love should of a sudden take such hold?
LUCENTIO: O Tranio, till I found it to be true, I never thought it possible or likely; But see, while idly I stood looking on, I found the effect of love in idleness: And now in plainness do confess to thee, That art to me as secret and as dear As Anna to the queen of Carthage was, Tranio, I burn, I pine, I perish, Tranio, If I achieve not this young modest girl.
Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst; Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
TRANIO: Master, it is no time to chide you now; Affection is not rated from the heart: If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so, 'Redime te captum quam queas minimo.'
LUCENTIO: Gramercies, lad, go forward; this contents: The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.
TRANIO: Master, you look'd so longly on the maid, Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.
LUCENTIO: O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face, Such as the daughter of Agenor had, That made great Jove to humble him to her hand.
When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.
TRANIO: Saw you no more?
mark'd you not how her sister Began to scold and raise up such a storm That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
LUCENTIO: Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move And with her breath she did perfume the air: Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her.
TRANIO: Nay, then, 'tis time to stir him from his trance.
I pray, awake, sir: if you love the maid, Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her.
Thus it stands: Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd That till the father rid his hands of her, Master, your love must live a maid at home; And therefore has he closely mew'd her up, Because she will not be annoy'd with suitors.
LUCENTIO: Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he!
But art thou not advised, he took some care To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her?
TRANIO: Ay, marry, am I, sir; and now 'tis plotted.
LUCENTIO: I have it, Tranio.
TRANIO: Master, for my hand, Both our inventions meet and jump in one.
LUCENTIO: Tell me thine first.
TRANIO: You will be schoolmaster And undertake the teaching of the maid: That's your device.
LUCENTIO: It is: may it be done?
TRANIO: Not possible; for who shall bear your part, And be in Padua here Vincentio's son, Keep house and ply his book, welcome his friends, Visit his countrymen and banquet them?
LUCENTIO: Basta; content thee, for I have it full.
We have not yet been seen in any house, Nor can we lie distinguish'd by our faces For man or master; then it follows thus; Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, Keep house and port and servants as I should: I will some other be, some Florentine, Some Neapolitan, or meaner man of Pisa.
'Tis hatch'd and shall be so: Tranio, at once Uncase thee; take my colour'd hat and cloak: When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; But I will charm him first to keep his tongue.
TRANIO: So had you need.
In brief, sir, sith it your pleasure is, And I am tied to be obedient; For so your father charged me at our parting, 'Be serviceable to my son,' quoth he, Although I think 'twas in another sense; I am content to be Lucentio, Because so well I love Lucentio.
LUCENTIO: Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves: And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye.
Here comes the rogue.
Sirrah, where have you been?