The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1838-06-05 00:00:00

THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD

THE `! ALBIoN."—The Momus of the Liverpool press
has again been attempting to excite the risibility of the
public at our expense; brit we are satisfied, that the ex-
tremely ludicrous figure which he cuts, whenever he
makes such an attempt, cannot fail to produce the very
opposite effect to that which is intended—a hearty griffon,
at the foolery of the mimic himself. Week after week
do we find our remarks animadverted upon in
.the same
style of vulgar scurrility which distinguishes the article
which the editor of the Albion has yesterday bestowed
upon the STANDARD. To this we have no objection.
We sincerely congratulate ourselves, that we are not so
unworthy as to merit the praise of the Albion. Its cen-
sure we hail as the best proof that we are pursuing an
honest and straightforward career. We trust that we
shall always continue to be equally entitled to its viru-
lent abuse, and that our fair fame may for ever remain
uncontaminated by the slime of its flattery. It is only in
the inflexible performance of our duty to our country,
that we become the object of the malignant persecution
of the Albion : it is only by neglecting that duty, and
forfeiting every claim to the character of the patriot; the
loyalist, or the Protestant churchman, that we can ex-
pect to obtain its approbation.
We say, that we have no objection whatever to the
animadversions of the Editor of the Albion but we do
not think that he is acting a fair and professional part
by allowing a correspondent to assume the editorial "-vve,"
and thus making his journal a conduit for discharging
the excrementitious filth of an individual so utterly con-
temptible.as the amateur editor who figures in the Albion
of yesterday. Entertaining, as we do, the most ineffable
contempt for the coxcomical puppy, whose splenetic effu-
sion has been thus admitted, after sundry clippings and
parings, into the columns of the Albion, we shall not
waste the time of our readers, nor administer to the
vanity of the crackbrained scribbler by any extended no-
tice of his puerile observations. To one of his inuendoes
we shall reply by saying, that " our leading articles are
not copied verbatim from other conservative papers,"
The
,assertion is a lie—an unqualified lie. We have
occasionally inserted articles of news which were not
original, in the same type as our leaders; but we never
quote from our contemporaries without acknowledging
the source from which such observations are derived. If
this be laid to our charge as an act of plagiarism, then is
the Liverpool Albion guilty of the same literary crime
in a far more heinous degree ; for we can scarcely refer
to a single publication of that caterer to the gullible
appetites of ladies' maids and milliners' apprentices,
which does not contain numerous extracts from the
STANDARD. If our contemporary finds it more conve-
nient to retail our commodities than to furnish his custo-
mers with his own staple manufacture, he has our full
Consent to continue the system. The only condition on
which we insist is, that our contemporary shall not at-
tempt to pass off any of our remarks in a mutilated
shape. He has too frequently had recourse to this trick
in order to obviate any disparaging comparisons which
his readers might feel tempted to make. Let him but
carefully avoid for the future, and he may then con-
sider himself entitled to a mote lenient treatment than
he has hitherto met with.
But, though we disdain to notice in detail the trash
and flummery which the amateur " we" of the Albion
has crammed into the article which the editor of that pa-
per has had the infinite condescension to admit into its
columns, we still feel disposed "to answer the fool ac-
cording to his folly" lest he should be " wise in his own
conceit." There may be a few silly noodles who may
possibly mistake the idiotic buffoonery of this writer for
a display of wit. Indeed, we question whether the class
of simpletons be not by far the most numerous among
the readers of the Albion, or else we should not find its
shrewd and talented conductor so willing as he is to yield

up his editorial chair to an individual so superlatively
silly-as the author of the attack upon the STANDARD,
which appears in juxta-position with the leading articles
in the Albion of yesterday. This prince of dunces
flounders from one absurdity to another in a manner
which baffles all description. But his absurdities we
may as well let alone; they can only provoke a smile at
the best. We hope to be favoured with another chapter
next week. We shall be exceedingly sorry to miss the
treat. Let-the, bioah.ead, however, avoid.Antroducin
g
any more of his inverted commas, lest he should lead the
public to suppose that he is quoting from the STANDARD,
which he has not-the honesty or he sagacity to do. The
odd collocation of sentences which he has attributed to
us in yesterday's Albion we need scarcely assure our
readers never appeared in the STANDARD. The whole
mass of verbiage in which he has endeavoured to ridi-
cule the STANDARD is, owing to the perverseness of the
writer in misquoting us, the most harmless stuff that
ever emanated from the pen of the greatest dullard in
existence. His irony is as devoid of pungency as the
overflowings of a swilling-tub—his sarcasm is just as
biting as his toothless grandmamma—and his style is as
vulgar and assuming as that of the silliest of the be-
whiskered monkeys who perambulate our streets in the
garb of humanity, but who owe every thing that resem-
bles men about them —to their tailors. If the pragma-
tical. personage who has been permitted, through the in-
conceivable kindness of the editor of the Albion, to as-
sume the regal " we," fancies for one moment that his
lucubrations have tended to ruffle our equanimity; we
beg to assure him that he is very much deceived. We
should just as soon feel provoked at the hissing of the
greenest gander that we ever met with. We shall not,
however, part with him without bestowing upon him a
passing word of advice. Let him henceforward demean
himself with a little more modesty—it will become him.
Nothing can be more offensive than for a simpleton,
whom nature evidently intended for a chimney-sweep or
a pot-boy, to take upon himself the airs of a critic. ..Ne
sutor ultra crepidanz.

NEW STEAM-SHIP Contmoooan.—This magnificent vessel
possesses now a very high reputation for speed, and it is justly
merited, for she was alongside the Clarence Dock, on Sunday
afternoon, full four hours before high water.

THE THEATRE ROYAL.—After a very successful week the
Italian Opera Buffa Company have lett this theatre, and is
succeeded by Mr. W. Farren, who is decidedly the first come-
dian on the stage. Last night Mr. Farren played Lord o.gley
in "The Clandestine Marriage." To-night Mr. Vandenhoff,
who has just returned from America, is engaged to play as
"Hamlet," before leaving the town, and no doubt will draw
a crowded house. The fresh bays with which he has adorned
his brow by his transatlantic tour can in no ways have lessened
his former reputation in Liverpool. Mr. Stuart, his successor
as first tragedian at the Theatre, is announced to play the
Ghost to his Hamlet.

------
We understand that the Rev. James H. Stewart, announced
from the pulpit at Saint Bride's,"on Sunday
last, his intention
to have public worship in that church to-orio'vi evening, after
the confirmation, for the purpose of imoloring.the blessing of
m
the Great Author and Finisher of our faith, upon that solemn
and highly-important ordinance of our Apostolical Church.
And that he purposes, after the sermon, to deliver a suitable
discourse to the young persons confirmed. The service, we
believe, will begin at the usual hour of seven in the evening.
TRIBUTE OF RESPECT TO A CLERGYMAN.-011 Saturday last
several members of St. Simon's Chapel, Sir Thomas'-buildings,
presented their respected minister, the Rey. H. S. Joseph, with
a very handsome gown and cassock, which were accompanied
by the following address :—" Presented to the Rev. H. S. Jo-
seph, by a few seatholders and members of St. Simon's Chapel,
Liverpool, and a few friends, as a small token of their sincere
Christian regard, and as a feeble expression of gratitude for his
past labours, in the hope that he may long be spared to preach
with energy and faithfulness the truths of the everlasting gos-
pel, and with the prayer that Almighty God may accompany
his ministration by the converting and sanctifying influence of
the Holy Spirit."
ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS.—The picture of Vesuvius, in these
gardens, is now completed. Mr. Danson, the artist, has been
actively .engaged upon it for some time
.past, and it promises to
be one of the most singular and interesting exhibitions in Liver-
pool. In its present state, with the cataract barely covered
over, the effect is most extraordinary. In the back ground
towering on high, is the volcano, the town of Naples at its
foot, and the bay, studded with fishing-boats, fills up the fore-
ground of the picture. It will, doubtless, attract crowds to see
it. We understand that, at night, during the eruption, the
effect will be grand in the extreme. It will be perceived, on
reference to the advertisement, that the first grand gala is an-
nounced to take place tomorrow (Wednesday), when the
eruption of Vesuvius will be exhibited for the first time.
FATAL ACCIDENT ON THE BOLTON RAILWAY.—An inquest
was held last Thursday upon the body of Evan Evans, a man
about thirty years of age, who had been killed at the opening
of the railway on Monday. The deceased, with about forty
others, was in one of the lurry boxes next to the engine, and
as the train was passing the Gravel-hole, the speed of the engine
was 'suddenly increased, by which- the carriages gilt a jerk,
which threw deceased out, and, the carriages passing over his
head, he was killed on the spot.—Verdict : " Accidental death."

To F REEM EN.—Every freeman whose name is on the present
register and whose present residence is not properly described,
should, without loss of time, at all events before the Ist of July
next, give a notice in writing to the Town Clerk, at his office
in the Town Hall, stating his name and actual place of abode,
and number on the present register. Also every freeman who
is on the roll, and whose name is not in the present register,
should claim to have his, name inserted in the next list, to be
made out by the Town Clerk according to the form set forth in
the act.