The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1849-07-17 00:00:00

EXCRUCIATINGLY DROLL.—THE WRONG SMITH.—
The Philadelphia Dispatch tells a story connected with
the whipping-post of Delaware, where a man received
twenty lashes, well laid on. The culprit, instead of bel-
lowing "like ten thousand" when the constable applied
the lash, laughed immoderately, which made the angry
officer lay on still harder. On giving him the twentieth
blow the constable could stand it no longer. " Well, here
mister," said the offended officer, " I've done my duty,
and I can lick you no more, but I'd jest like to know what
it is that's so funny ?" " Funny," roared the other,
" funny ! why its the best joke I ever heard of ! Ha !
ha ! ha ! oh ! ha ! ha !" said he, as alternately his pains
and merriment predominated. " Funny ? well what is
the joke ?" " Joke !" roared the other, " why it's ex-
cellent. You've got the wrong Smith I I aint the man
that was to be whipped ! It's the other one ! Now
you'll have to go it all over again ! Really it's too good !
You must lick the other man now !"
CONSUMPTION OF ARDENT SPIRITS IN ENGLAND.—
One of the things which strike most forcibly the American
visitor in Great Britain, is the immense amount of spirits
and beer offered for sale. From the time he sets foot in
Liverpool, until he returns thither for embarcation after
travelling all over the Continent, the preeminence of Bri-
tain in the consumption of strong drink is astounding, and
leads him almost to wonder whether there are any sober
people in a country where alcohol occupies such a place
among articles of merchandise. During a somewhat ex-
tended tour on the Continent, we could not but notice
that the only people we saw drinking spirits were Britons
—even in Germany and Holland, supposed to be drinking
countries. The difference in this respect between Britain
and other countries is more striking than any one could
believe without actual observation, and the fact is certainly
one which demands serious consideration. The number
of persons one meets in England bearing evident marks of
intemperate habits, shows that it is quite time the subject
attracted the attention not only of the philanthropist but
the statesman.—Fraser.
A BALLOON EMPLOYED IN WAR. Balloons were
prepared in this establishment (French Academy of
Aeronautics) for the service of the different armies. They
were named with all the form of christening a man-of-
war, and we read of the Entreprenant, for the army of the
North ; the Celeste, for that of the Sambre and Meuse :
the Hercule, for the army of the Rhine; and the Intre-
pide, for that of the Moselle. The decisive victory which
General Jourdan gained in 1794, over the Austrian forces
in the plains of Fleuris, has been ascribed principally to
the accurate information of the enemy's movements be-
fore and during the battle, communicated by telegraphic
signals from a balloon, which was elevated to a moderate
height. The aeronauts, at the head of whom was the ce-
lebrated chemist, Guyton-Morveaus, mounted twice in
the course of that day, and continued about four hours
each time, hovering in the rear of the army, at an altitude
of about 1300 feet. In the second ascent, the enterprise
being discovered by the enemy, a battery was brought to
bear upon the balloon, but the aeronauts soon gained an
elevation beyond the reach of the cannon. Another bal-
loon, constructed by M. Conte, was attached to the army
sent on the memorable expedition to Egypt. After the
capitulation of Cairo, it was brought back with the re-
mains of the army to France, and subsequently employed
by M. Biot and Gay-Lussac in their scientific ascent,
when the latter attained the enormous elevation of 23,040
feet above the level of the sea, and satisfactorily demon-
strated that the air at that height contains exactly the
same proportions as that collected near the surface of the
earth. The use of balloons by the French in war soon
created a panic among English alarmists. It was re-
ported that England would be invaded by clouds of aerial
monsters, which would burn the cities and destroy the
crops.—Fraser's Magazine.

THE COMFORT OF THE COTTAGE, NOT THE SPLEN-
DOURS OF ART, THE MARK OF CIVILIZATION.—TEL every
argument connected with the influence which the Church
of Rome may have exercised in the promotion of civiliza-
tion, we are pointed to the magnificent works of art which
she has elicited and the noble structures which she has
raised. The poetry of the association ever connected with
these objects leads to the mistake, that the power of mind
exhibited in these productions is the exact measure of the
social civilization characterizing the age in which they
were produced. It must, however, be remembered, that
the real test of social civilization, as we have already said,
is to be found in the domestic and internal condition of
society rather than in its external accessories. The Church
of Rome has a peculiar faculty of absorption : she seizes
upon whatever of talent, of artistic power, and of mental
energy, she meets with in her way, and uses them as ap-
pendages to her power. The prestige of greatness is of
vital importance to her, and the unthinking mind of the
masses is ever wont to suppose that external magnificence
is an inseparable attribute of real greatness. The policy
of the Romish Church is, therefore, to surround herself
with all that is pleasing to the eye and sense, so as to per-
suade beholders that the beauty which is thus conferred
upon her, and which is simply that of reflection, is an in-
tegral element of her being. Hence, whilst the efforts of
genius of every kind have served as the accessories of her
pageant and for the enhancement of her temporal dignity,
the true enlightenment of the individual mind by the in-
telligent teaching of her priests has been totally forgot en.
The surface of society was blazoned with splendour : tae
hidden misery of its depths remained unmitigated—the
palace was adorned—the temple was beautified—but the
cottage and its inmate were alike neglected. The same
power which created the treasures of the Vatican keeps its
subjects in the grossest ignorance, tying them down to
the adoration of mis-shapen dolls and tawdry images, to
which miraculous virtues are solemnly attributed. Thus,
at this very hour, side by side with the finest conceptions
of art which hold the wondering foreigner entranced in
admiration, there are, in all the churches of continental
Europe, frightful daubs and shapeless blocks—foul libels
on the human form—to which the masses bow in tearful
vener.tion. Whoever desires to know what was the social
and moral condition of Romish countries, in the most
palmy days of her power, will find it in such auto-bio-
graphies as that of Cellini, and in the dissertations of San-
chez, of Escobar, and Suarez. These dissertations show,
ip the sad science of corruption which they display, one
of two things—the debasing studies which an abstraction
from the healthier duties of social life begets, or the
wretched condition of the society to whose moral ailments
they professed to minister : in either case, they prove but
little for the civilizing tendencies of Romish rule which
Dr. Balmez vaunts.-7 he Church of _England Quarterly
Review.