The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1853-02-15 00:00:00

and Hall.

" The Dodd Family" are still economising on,
the Continent, whence Betty Cobb indites a sor-
rowful epistle to her friend, Mrs. Susan O'Shea,
House, Priest's H B epistle s ruff—an e
cha-
racteristic gems. Here • " .trung with
is an average specimen :
HOW TO BREAK DOWN A MASTER.
If ye seen the life I sometimes lead the Mistress, you'd
you aft
pity her ; but why would
and
rall ? wasn't I taken
away from my home and country
put down here in a
strange place; and if I didn't spend the ay now and then
cryin', would she ever think of razing my sperits with a
new bonnet, or a pare of shoes, or a ticketfort play !
Take them azy, Shusy, and they'll take you the e saßut if you show them they're in your power, take toyouer:
bed, sick, when they're in a hot hurry, and want you most;
be sulky and out of sperits when they'r all full of fun
and go singin' about the house the day they'v got a dis..
tressin' letter by the post ; keep to that, and my Shure
and sartin beleef is, that you'll break down the sperit of
the wickedest Master and Mistress that ever breathed.
Young Dodd, who has long since become a most
accomplished spendthrift, says some good things.
We select one at random :
- -

Here I felt I was on safe ground, for throughout life I
have ever remarked, that when an Irishman is in diffi-
culties, a reprieve is as good as a free pardon to him—
for so it is, the land which seems so thoroughly hopeless
in its destinies, contains the most hopeful population in
Europe

Mrs. Dodd, too, has her say; and this afflicted
woman would appear to have still sufficient spirit
left to give-same utterances worthy of repetition

IRISH PROSPERITY.

I'm always reading v
in the papers about the improve-
ment of .Ireland, and yet I get less and less out of it ;
but maybe that same is a sign of prosperity; for I remem-
ber my poor father was never so stingy as when he
saved a little money ; and indeed my own conviction is,
that much of what we used to call Irish hospitality was
neither more nor less than downright desperation—we
had so little in the world, it wasn't worth hoarding.

Douglas Jerrold's New Comedy.

This comedy, acted with great success at Wind-
sor and in the Princess's Theatre, London, is about
to be produced on the Liverpool stage. " St.
Cupid ; or, Dorothy's Fortune," carries us back
to r 715, when the young Pretender agitated Eng-
land. The first scene introduces us to a Mr. Under—
Secretary Zero and his nephew Sir Valentine May,
who are examining a pack of letters intercepted at
the post-office

Reenter Trundle

Trundle. My master will be here, Sir Valentine ; but
sends the key that,—

Val.-Good. (Takes key. Exit Trundle.) As under-
secretary's secretary 'tis little enough I do : and luckily
my uncle is such a glutton at official fare, he hardly leaves
me the crumbs. (Opens box.) Why, what a batch is here
Hawke. These the original letters—these the copies
we have taken.

Val. The true rebels, and their speaking portraits.
Undone fools ! Pandora's box without hope of clergy.
Hawke. Some of 'em droll, Sir Valentine : saving your
presence, devilish droll.
Val. Well, that government is still the safest that
makes treason laughable.
Hawke. Oh, Sir Valentine, we all laugh at the rising ;
laugh like royal subjects. Still, there's matter in these
letters that—

Val. Mr. Hawke, you are, I believe, the chief hand
at this nice surgery ?
Hawke. Surgery, Sir Valentine ?

Val. You best can operate on written men, for such
are men's letters ? Best can open the locked lips of wax
—best take out the heart of the secret—the brain of the
purpose, and that so tenderly, the patient dealt upon
dreams not of the operation, until a short way off be sees
the hurdle and the axe ? Eh, good Hawke ?

(Enter Mr. Under-Secretary Zero, leaning on Trundle,
Exit Trundle)
_ _

Not so well this morning, uncle ?

Zero. Well, Val ? How can Ibe well ? With me the
gout's a state barometer. I knew by my knee that the
Pretender had landed, and last night I had twinges of all
those letters in every joint of my toes.
Val, (Half-aside.) The spirit of the seer prophesying
thro' gout I
Zero. Well, what's the worst treason ?
Val. (Turning over letters.) I see none—scent none.
Zero. Ha, Val, you've no eye for a plot—no nose.
Once I was like yourself.

Val. And now you'd see Guy Faukes's tinder in a dow.
ager's snuff box ; and smell his matches in a spinster's
hartshorn.

Zero. And why not? But the treason there awaits us.
Read, Val, read.
Val. (Reads.) " From Alexander Macthistle of the
Cannongate to Duncan Haggis, of the Golden Mull, to-
bacconist, Little Britain."
Zero. Scot to Scot. Go on.
Val. (Reads.) "Ye shall learn by these, Duncan,
that the snuffs are no yet prepared for the London mar-
ket. They yet need a little scorching to tak' the noses o'
the Southrons."
Zero. Noses of the Southerns ! Hm !
Val. (Reads.) "Am glad to ken ye're getting on so
bravely. Fergus tells me your Highlander looks bonny
in his new paint."
Zero. Highlander ! New paint ! Ilm !
Val. (Reads.) " And for the glory of puir Scotland,
I hope soon to hear of a thousand mair in the streets of
London."

Zero. Now, Sir Valentine May, for a lesson in state
craft. What is really in that letter.
Val. Why, Scotch snuff in Edinburgh, and wooden
Highlanders mounting guard at the doors of snuff shops
in London,

Zero. And is that all? Well, another.
Val. (Reads) " John Ketts, Irongate, to Simon
Quick, toyman, Covent Garden. Our advices inform us
that the ship will sail next week with your order. One
thousand common dolls ; with fifty samples, that work
their eyes and mouths. With these, two hundred rock-
ing-horses."

Zero. Well ?
Val. Well ?

Zero. And you can't see through this ? Listen and
learn. The undried snuff is troops preparing for the Pre-
tender. The Highlanders in London. a swarm of kilts
with the Stuart.

Val. And the thousand common dolls, Sir ?
Zero. Foreign troops.
Val. And the dolls with eyes and mouths ?
___.

The officers to command them

Val. And the rocking-horses ?
Zero. Cavalry, sir ; cavalry, as I'm a statesman.
Val. Wonderful! (Aside.) Daylight's wasted upon
a man who can see so much better in the dark.

SERIALS FOR FEBRUARY. - The National
Temperance Chronicle (A. Dewar, Liverpool) will
be chiefly interesting this month as the parting
legacy of the Rev. Thomas Spencer to the " temper-
ance cause." That reverend gentleman, who offi-
ciated as editor of the magazine, departed this life
on the morning of the 26th of January, after a
protracted illness borne with great Christian forti-
tude. Mr. Spencer, we believe, was a native of
Derby, and from his earliest years he devoted him-
self with praiseworthy earnestness to the promotion
of morality and happiness among the human
family. The publisher promises a memoir in the
March number. Chambers's Edinburgh Journal
(Orr, Liverpool) panders to no vitiated taste, and
yet maintains its popularity. Among the note-
worthy papers in the February part, we observe an
exposure of the Clairvoyante imposture, which must
do serious damage to the pretensions of Mr. Ber-
nardo Eagle; a biography of Mr. Franklin Pierce,
the new American President, founded on the recent
work of Nathaniel Hawthorne; and some useful
matter anent the Gold Land.—Punch possesses an
additional attraction this month, in the shitpe of the
almanack for 1853, albeit less smartness pervades
its pages than on many previous occasions. We
cannot be hard, however, upon the facile hunch-
back of Fleet-street,who really labours industriously
to make the public " laugh and he merry."—
Diogenes is a publication after the fashion of Punch.
In its size, type, and general scope, it is precisely
similar, though of course there is a difference in the
artistic and literary merits of the respective periodi-
cals. The new candidate for popular favour is the
most likely attempt of the kind which has been
made for many years.