The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1838-09-04 00:00:00

Vottrp.

ILLUSTRATIONS OF POPERY.—No. 2.

A PURCHASE FROM PURGATORY.
There liv'd a priest once—Father Jem—
His church's ornament and glory,
A famous hand was he—chem!

At clearing souls from Purgatory.
He free'd so many—holy man !
That it was long uncertain whether
It would not be the wisest plan
To shut the place up altogether.
No sooner was a soul sent in,
And pious Jent well fee'd and feasted—
Than he—no matter what the sin—
, Straight said his Paudereens and releas'd it.
That class his aid were sure to seek
Who wore the Virgin Mary's livery,*
To them he promised once a week
A full and general "jail delivery."
He was, too, in his priestly way,
Neither severe, nor stern, nor mopish—
The spiritual Mulgrave of his day,
Honester far but not so Popish.
We've just now hinted, though, that he
Before be pray'd made one condition—
Who sought his aid and brought no fee
Got from his reverence no petition !
Now near this priest it came to pass
There liv'd a griping idoliser,
Who car'd not six-pence for a mass,
A keen, thin, hard, rapacious miser.
And this old square-toes bad a youth
Who knew so well the cash to gather,
That be was often known in truth
To overreach his knavish father.
The miser felt unwell one day,
And, as his malady grew stronger,
He sent for Father Jem to say

He'd do without his aid no-longer.
Jem felt a holy joy within
At hearing thus of Gripe's condition,
Who, anxious to compound for sin,
Offer'd a liberal composition.
He he feared the wrath to come—
(Kind reader how St. Jens enjov'd it!)
And that he'd give a handsome sum
If he could through the priest avoid it.
His terms were stretch'd a sum or two—
( We wish a Yorkshire" Leg" had seen them !)
At length, said Jem, " the thing will do;"
And so the bargain closed between them.
And thus the miser made his end,

And slipp d away with small compunction,
For he had Father James his friend,
And also Father James's " Unction."
But scarce a week had passed away,
When holy Jem, as sweet as honey, .
Went up, as was agreed, to pray—
In other words to touch the money.
He rattled off a prayer with zeal—
Of each young Gripe threw down a handful,
" My son,''' the priest repliel, " I feel
"Your faith is strong, yourspirit manful."
" But is my father's soul released ?
" Or is he yet in Lintho frying ?"
" He suffers still," replied the priest!
The glittering cash beside him eyeing.
Sum after sum away was paid,
Nor was the father's wind diminished,
But with expanding lungs he prayed,
Until the glittering heap was finished.
Thus, he at length addressed the son,
" Thou hest with liberal spirit given ;
" Your father's sufferings all are done;

" Ile's now a glorious saint in heaven!"
"Then, worthy father, learn a trick ;"
Thus, with a grin, replied the other;
" I'll teach the Church to pray on tick,
" A novel thing for good Old Mother."
With fury in his face, the priest
Began: "Oh, most irreverend scoffer ;"
Said Gripe, "I'm not so softly fleec'd,"
And swept the cash back to his coffer.
" You say in Heaven his soul is snug;
" I've too much faith to think it fable;
"Then. try your hand, my old humbug,
And turn him out on't if your able.
" And why should I, you precious limb,
" Be such a dupe to priest or any,
" As give to thee, for saving him,
" The very thing that damns so many
* The scapular.

AN INTERCEPTED LETTER.

TO MT FRIEND AND SERVANT DAN, IN RETREAT AT
MOUNT MELLERAY.
Well, Dan, my old humbug! of all thy past cheating,
And many an instance can mem'ry recal,
There's none can come up to this trick of retreating;
By hypocrisy's self, Dan, it bothers them all.
Joe Hume has some brass; nor would pause at a whopper
(As be owned in the house) if it answered his end;
Yet his brass would assuredly blush into copper
If he tried such a "go" as your last one, my friend.

You know, Dan, I hold you in high estimation ;
When you wanted my aid I was ever at hand;
But I fear, that, in even your priest-ridden nation,
You are trying a trick that the people won't stand.
What! hot from the orgies of hate and sedition;
After rai►ing at all that is virtuous and true!
Will your countrymen credit your fit of contrition;
Or think that religion can own such as you?
'Tie scarce credible, Dan; but, perhaps, you know better
How things should be done in the Emerald Isle?
And I own, my dear friend! I'll be greatly your debtor
If the bog-trotting papists are caught by this wile.
How your friend, Father Tom, of sl`Gariahan fame—
Himselfa shrewd, s►y, clever, humbugging chap—
Must, envying, admit how superior your claim,
In devising this scheme of retreat a-la-Trappe.
The priests, too, though born to the manner, will wonder,
When they find to a layman such hardihood given,
And think, whilst Jove shows his existence by thunder,*
That any but tbey could thus daily with Heaven.
Go on, Dan ! and prosper—our ends are the same—
The same be our means, my old brother in evil;
In thee, of all vot'ries, I'll own the first claim
To the highest regards of

Your master,
THE DEVIL
'Cmlo tonantem credidimus Jovem regnare.

CONTEMPORARY PRESS.

THE FOREIGN POLICY OF THE WHIG
GOVERNMENT.
( From the Morning Herald.)

As the policy of the whig government becomes, day
by day, more crouching towards the more powerful
foreign governments—and as the hostility of our ri-
vals is not disarmed by acts of self-abasement on the
part of our rulers—it becomes of some importance to
ascertain the means of defence possessed by England,
in the event of the formation of a coalition for her de-
struction, by the powers which are most jealous of her
long-established ascendancy. These powers are, es-
pecially, Russia and the United States. Were Eng-
land overthrown, Russia might hope to bring all Eu-
rope under the dominion of the Czars. Were Eng-
land overthrown, the United States might hope to en-
gross the larger portion of the trade of the world.
Russia and tbe'United States possess, undoubtedly,
immense resources;—yet, if the energies of England
were properly evolved and directed, England would
have little to fear, even from the coalition against her
of these two formidable powers. For both these
countries, let it be noted, contain within their consti-
tutions many elements of weakness.
Russia, for instance, owes a large portion of her
apparent strength to the stupid policy which England
has, of late years, observed towards her. England
has, in point of fact, been content, latterly, to play the
game of Russia. England aided ft ss i a to destroy
the independence of Turkey—the most important
check which the great national arrangement or Europe
supplied for limiting the extension of Russian power.
England, in like manner, connived at the subjugation
of Poland—a country scarcely less important (if again
elevated to the character of an independent state) to
the adjustment of honest international arrangements
throughout Europe, than Turkey itself. But although
England has, hitherto, failed to turn the recent chan-
ges in the East of Europe to fair advantage—still, by
men of a different stamp from our whig rulers, the re-
sults of those changes might yet be turned to admira-
ble account. In a struggle with Russia—Turkey,
Poland, and Circassia would offer to England (if Eng-
land were governed as she ought to be) means of at-
tack, which the Emperor Nicholas would, find it no
easy matter to neutralise.
It is customary, again, for a class of persons dis-
affected towards this country to advert to the gi owing
power of the United States, and to their scarcely-
calculable resources. Such estimates, however, are
apt to he fallacious. The lands of the United States
are, undoubtedly, most fertile and most abundant—
their rivers and lakes most admirably adapted for all
the purposes of commerce—whilst the prospect of their
mineral wealth is of the most flattering description.
Yet if the United States were to engage in destrueengage
Live hostilities against England, England, ruled by
statesmen of the right stamp—men of prudence, and
courage, and promptitude in action—might break up
the federal union in three months, and scatter to the
winds those powers of aggression which now render
the United States, in the eyes of ordinary observers,
so formidable an antagonist. The federal union is but
a discordant assemblage of *small states. These are
irreconcilably divided from each other, on the ques-
tions of slavery, and of the direction of native indus-
try in the various localities of the union. The north-
ern states wish to manufacture for the southern. The
southern states, again, desire to consume European
manufactures. If the directors of the federal union
were to declare war against England, a little manage-
ment might suffice to range the southern states on the
side of Great Britain. If England should seize upon
the island of Cuba—should erect it into a depOt for
arms, and necessaries of all kinds—and then call into
action the black population of the southern states,
there would briefly be an end of the federal union, and
of the semblance of overwhelming power which now
belongs to it.
If the destinies of England, in short, were intrusted
to men of vigorous and enlarged understandings, we
should have little to apprehend from the best organ-
ised system of aggression against this country, on
which Russia and the United States might resolve.
But the whigs fear and truckle to both these powers.
They submit to insults and outrages without number;
and each act of submission by them only leads to the
perpetration of fresh indignities by the powers to
which unworthy rencessions are made.
We h^- 'e peace; but we no less heartily
our of England vindicated, and her
It is something, too, to reflect,
r existence, which England may
nter upon, she possesses—if she
ale means of breaking up the
idable antagonists.