The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1849-07-03 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

There was a great battle fought some ten miles from
Brussels on the 18th of June, 1815.—Journal.
Miss Martineau's Book of Eastern Travel has been
excluded from the Derby library, because of its immoral
tendency !
A medical journal has actually been started in the Ot-
toman Empire—an important sign of the times and the
advancement of medical science.
THE BEST YET.—" My dear Polly, I am surprised at
your taste in wearing another woman's hair on your head,"
said Mr. Smith to his wife. "My dearest Joe, I am
equalLy astonished that you persist in wearing another
sheep's wool on your back. There now !"—American
paper.
THE DlAMOND.—lnteresting as is this queen of gems
to all, and although they are exposed in dazzling quantities
in all our jewellers' windows, our readers will be startled
when we inform them that the art of cutting and polishing
diamonds is almost unknown in London ; we may say,
England. Looking at the abundance of the working
jewellers, setters, and lapidaries in the Clerkenwell and
St. Luke districts alone, considering the great artistic
skill to which our artisans have arrived in every branch of
mechanism, and the perseverance and enterprise which
have ever marked their progress, this absence of the art of
cutting and polishing diamonds is singular. We believe
there is but one individual who follows this peculiir art.
He resides in Harrison-street, Grays Inn-road, where the
family was originally established by the eminent firm of
Storr and Mortimer, the gold and silversmiths and jewel-
lers, of New Bond-street, who erected very expensive
machinery for the business. The Dutch have for ages
almost monopolised the diamond cutting trade of Europe,
and so expert are they, that on showing them a rough
diamond, they will tell to the greatest nicety what the
polished gem will weigh. It may therefore be naturally
supposed that any rough diamonds which may come to
this country are sent to Holland to be cut and polished.
The merchandise here, however, in diamonds is with
them principally in a finisned state. Diamonds are found
of very different colours to what is generally believed ;
not only are some pure colourless crystals, but yellowish
white, gray, ash gray, bluish gray, yellow and greenish
gray, indigo blue, passing into red, rose red, clove and
other shades of brown, asparagus, leek and mountain
green ; and Moht, in his description of Von der Null'scabinet, mentions a grayish black diamond, the rarest
of all. It was first thought to be an inflammable sub.
stance, by Boetius de Boot, in 1609. In 1694 experiments
were made by Boyle, which proved that the diamond, al-
though the hardest of minerals, was combustible. Nu-
merous experiments by able chymists since nave lel to
illustrious
counts same belief, but it was left for our own
counti rum, Sir H. Davy, to prove, by the galvanic
9Parlc, tint the diamond is pure carbon.—Mining Journal.

DOING A LANDLORD ; OR GETTING THE

VALUE ON'T.

Shortly after the completion of the " Great National
Road" through Ohio, the incident T am about to relate
occurred.
There was in a quiet little village through which the
" Road" passed, a hotel where the stages always changed,
and the passengers expected to get breakfast, The land-
lord of the said hotel was noted for his " tricks upon
travellers," who were allowed to get fairly seated at the
table, when the driver would blow his horn, (after takng
his horn) and sing out " Stage ready, gentlemen," where-
upon the passengers were obliged to hurry out and take
their seats, leaving a scarcely tasted breakfast behind
them, for which they had (to fork over) fifty cents.
The hero I speak of was one of nine male passengers in
a stage coach, which was slowly approaching the village
above mentioned, one cold morning in February, 183—.
" Gentlemen," said one of the nine, " I have often
travelled thiS road before, and, out of good feeling to all,
I will caution you against " hugging the delusive phantom
of hope," as regards getting breakfast at the hotel we are
approaching."
" What ?—how ? No breakfast ! exclaimed the rest.

. ... .. ...
" Exactly so, gents, and you may as well keep seats and
tin."

" Don't they expect passengers to breakfast ?"
"Oh yes ! they expect you to it, but not to eat it."
" Why, wot on airth air yew talkin"bout ? Ef you
calkerlate I'm goin' to pay 'four nine peaces' fur my
breakfuss and not get the vallee on't you air mistakin'!"
said a voice from the back seat, the owner of which was
one Hezekiah Spaulding.
" Then you'll be left."
" Not as yew knows on I won't ?"
As the stage drove up to the door, the landlord, ready
to "do the hospitable," says—
" Breakfast just ready, gents ! Take a wash gents ?
Here's water, basin, towels, and soap."
After performing their ablutions, they all proceeded to
the dining-room, and commenced a fierce onslaught. upon
the edibles. though " Hez" took his time. Scarcely had
they tasted their coffee, when they heard the unwelcome
sound of the horn and the driver exclaim "stage ready."
Up rise eight grumbling passengers, pay their 50 cents,
and take their seats.

" All aboard, gents ?" enquires the host.
" One missing," said they.
Proceeding to the dining-room, the host finds Hez very
coolly helping himself to an immense piece of steak, the
"size of a horse's lip."
" You'll be left, sir ! Stage is going to start."
" Wal, I haint got nothin' to say agin it." drawls out
Hez.

" Can't wait, sir, better take your seat."
" Dew wog."

" Get in, sir."
" be gaul darned of T dew, nuther, 'til I've got my
breakfuss ! I paid for it, I'm goin' to get the vallee on' t,
and if you calkerlate I ain't, you are mistaken."
So the stage did start, and left Hez, who continued his
attack on the edibles. Biscuits, coffee, steaks, &c., &c.,
disappeared rapidly before the eyes of the astonished
landlord.

" Say, Squire, them there cakes is 'bout East T fetch us
another grist on 'em." " You!" (to the waiter ;)
" nuther cup ov that air coffee. Pass them eggs."
" Raise yew'er own pork, Squire?—this is mazin' nice
ham. Land 'bout yere tolerable cheap, Squire ? Hain't
got much maple timber in these parts, hey ye? Dewin'
right smart trade, Squire, I callate. Don't lay yew'er
own eggs, dery ye? Aud thus Hez kept quizzing the
landlord, until he had made a hearty meal.
" Say, Squire, now I'am 'bout tew conclude payin' my
devowers tew this ere table, but of yewe'd jus' giv' us a
bowl o' bread and milk tew sorter top off with, I'd be
obleeged tew ye."
So out goes the landlord and waiter for the bowl, milk
and bread, and set them before Hez.

" Spewn, tew, if you please ?"
But no spoon could be found. Landlord was sure he
had plenty of silver ones laying on the table when the
stage stopped.

" Say. yew ! dew yew think any of the passengers took
them ?"

•` I don't know. Do you think they did ?"
" Dew I think ? No, I don't think, but lam sartin.
Ef they air all as green as yew 'bout here, I'm going tew
locate immediately and tew wonst."
The landlord rushes out to the stable, and starts a man
off after the stage, which had gone about three miles.
The man overtakes the stage and says something to the
driver in a low tone. He immediately turns back, and,
on arriving at the hotel,- Hez comes out to take his seat,
and says—
" Heow air yew gents ? I'm rotten glad tew see yew."
Landlord says—" Can you point out the man you think
has e spoons ?"
"Pint them eout ? Sartinly I ken. Say, Squire! I
paid vew four nine pence for a breakfuss. and I callate I
GOT THE VALLEE. ON'T. Yew'll find THEM SPOONS IN
COFFEE• POT !"
" Go ahead, all aboard, driver."