The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-01-07 00:00:00

FACETIX.

VERY HORRIBLE !—When is a horse least like a clergy-
man ?—When he's a lame'-un (layman.)
A young girl will not hesitate to tell you her age. But
you don't catch an old 'on doing that.
They say a man kicked by a horse, is wounded and heeled
at the same moment. _

Come o'er the moonlight sea," as the smuggler said to
the Hollands.
"That's smart !" as the_urchin said when the schoolmas-
ter *as a flogging him.,
"There's something in diat;" as the,gal said to her stock-
ing when she put' her foot in it.
What do you think of my taste ?" as the fly-said ven he
got into the man's mouth.
" Too good to be true," as the husband said to his wife,
who got drunk every day, when she told him she was dying.
" Thou'rt false to me !" as the fellow said to the steam-
boat plank yen it broke under him.
Out with it," as the man said to the child who had swal-
loweda farthing.

" I know a man who cheats at cards," said a young gen-
tleman to Sheridan ; "I do not like to expose him. What
shall I do." "Back him," replied Sheridan.
" John," said the schoolmaster, " you will soon be a man,
and will have to do business; what do you suppose you will
do when you have to write letters, unless you learn to spell
better ?" " Oh, sir; I shall put easy words in them."
The only prisoner in the Nantucket gaol ha 4 given the
sheriff notice that, unless the gaol is put in a more comforta-
ble condition he will " dig out." The door, he says, has no
latch, and he has hard work to keep himself confined.—Bos-
ton Notion.

A contemporary introduces a piece of poetry with these
words :—" The following lines were written, more than sixty
years ago. by one who has for many years slept in his grave,
merely for his own amusement."
" The boy at the head of the class will state what were
the dark ages of the world." Boy hesitates. " Next—
Master Smith, can't you tell us what the dark ages were ?"
" I guess they were the ages before the invention of spec-
tacles."
• An Irishman was observed to feed his pig one day to reple-
tion, and to starve it the next. On being asked his reason
for doing so, he said, " Och, sure, and isn't it that I like to
have bacon with a strake o' fat and a strake o' lane equally
one after 'tother."

A gentleman employed an Irishman to trim a number of
fruit trees. lie went out in the morning, and on returning
at noon, was asked whether he had completed his work.
No ! but he had cut them all down, and was going to trim
them in the afternoon.—American payer.
IMPORTANT, IF TRUE.—A man in Massachusets, having
the fear of the fifteen gallon law before his eyes, drank a
quantity of morns multicaulis tea just before going to bed;
and when he woke up next morning the liquid had passed
through his skull, and formed a silk night-cap which covered
his head.

A
" down easter" advertises for a wife in something like
the following manner :—" Any gal what's got a cow,-u good
feather bed with comfortable fixings, 500 dollars in hard pew-
ter, one that has had the measles, and understands tending
children, can find a customer for life, by writing a small bil-
let dux, addressed Z. Q., and stick it in a crack of Uncle
Ebonezer's barn, back side jinin the bog pen."

The Christian population of Constantinople is.said to have
increased to such an extent, that two new villages in its im-
mediate neighbourhood, one at jijunctionbooftwtheeenr4;aide!
from Pera and Tatavia, the other on thei hill
rapia and Buyukdere, have suddenly sprung up. This rapid
augmentation is attributed to the
the inhabitants-distress wlii
.to desert
them, prevails in
'the provincial towns, compelliig
them, and to seek a livelihood in the capital.
DISCOVERS' OF HUMAN REMAINS, AND SUPPOSED
MURDER, AT BRISTOL.—The neighbourhood of St. James,
Bristol, was thrown into a state of considerable alarm and
excitement, on Monday and Tuesday last, by the discovery
of a skull and some humanDboovnee-sc,ov:lhritc,hßwrei
dr
ee
sd.eual sewer
.oeauv:ite e
ro, f
inaa
thend
court, ndcbayliest CrownoimexvOrknaine(in employed in making
,
it),(3,eirl,oi o.n. Li!
which, from their appearance and the position in which they
were found, induce a belief that they are the remains of some
periods
e
man who was Murdered and secretly interred. At different
tyloieu werens tuhnr
surface during
the work fragments of bone were turned up,
to 1., at first, no. attention was paid, the excavators by'
were discovered having no suspicion that they
.g
aus
cue 4 o
ufoaafulthieludemp;ornuovuibsne,
ti
in
discovered ga ;
hbumu taonna
tsAalboont:dta yt
w.aoftfeerentoboenl
0,
wa
as
sf aif
itm betweenahnadbeeai n
t. 1 1
u groundand skull, apparently that
closely examined exhibited a
60
severalyes of age, which appeared
fracture over the .
which it is the opinion of
rumedical men was inflicted during
years, andupnognhtbeeianrg,
life with some pointed instrument
to have caused death. ' , such as a pickaxe or ham-
mer, statingslc is of sufficient magni-
tudeformed one, and the deceased must' ull is a very peculiarly
havenose
had a very remark-
able countenance. The bones Qt. the
at e°
a natural inclination, or twist to the risgehatitl-1 upper jawesihdthetitv,ne,
anlTrhaeisetdopoonf
the skull is singularly depressed on the right and
!,t
hmedical
theleft side, and there is, to use the language
witness, "a very extraordmary prominence
The court in which the bones were disinterred hasnig right
once been the abode of characters of the worst n°description,l-ioi and during the last 20 years there have been rumours ot
than one person having disappeared from the neighbourhood
under very suspicious circumstances. A coroner's inquest
has been summoned, and have adjourned for a fortnight, and
as the matter has been actively taken up by some of the
police,_ hopes are entertained that some light will be thrown
upoiothe subject, involved as it is at present in the most inex-
plicable mystery. •

MISCELLANEOUS.

THE NEW HOUSES OF PARLIAMENT.—The foundation
walls of the new houses of parliament are nearly completed,
and it is expected the first stone will be laid by her Majesty
early in the spring.

It is known everywhere on the Continent, in all courts,
great and small, that the three Cobourgs, father and two
sons, are to arrive about the 20th of January, and that the
marriage is to take place on the Bth of February.—Corre-
spondent of the Brighton Gazette.

HONESTY REWARDED.—On Friday morning the son of
Mr. James Haslam, waste dealer, of Bury-street, Little
Bolton, lost a £3O note. A poor old man shortly presented
himself with the note, when, as a reward for his honesty, the
boy's mother generously offered him sixpence, which he in-
dignantly refused.
An innkeeper in Maidstone had a cod-fish sent him last
week, which when open was found to contain 30 star-fish, 2
gallons of sea-weed, 4 dabs, and 6 large whitings.

We have had great pleasure in hearing that her Majesty
has been pleased to lend to the National Exhibition, about to
open, two of the most distinguished paintings of Wilkie,
" The Guerilla Council of War," and " The Maid of Sara-
gossa.''—Ministerial paper.
A strong force of the metropolitan police is to be immedi-
ately sent down to Monmouth, consisting of picked officers.
This step has been taken in consequence of the apprehensions
of the inhabitants of that town. Some of them have left town
this morning by the Gloucester day mail.—Globe.
Sometime since a party from the neighbourhood of Staple-
hurst having left their naive home and settled in America,
wrote to the friends they had left behind, with this address,
" Old England, Staplehurst, Kent, near Maidstone." The
postmaster was puzzled, but after sundry conjectures and
consultations, with a little peeping and prying, the letter
found its right owner.

THE CATHEDRAL IN CALCUTTA.—A few days since we
stated that the Bishop of Calcutta had given £20,000 towards
the erection of a cathedral in his dioceir.. It may now be
added that the whole expense, including the endowment, is
estimated at £60,000. We have great pleasure in stating
tbat the subscriptions promised in Calcutta to the 12th of
October were £15,300, that the Christian Knowledge Society
has voted £5OOO, and the Society for the Propagation of the
Gospel has promised to endow a prebendal stall, which is
equivalent to £3ooo.—Courier.
On Saturday morning a pedestrian match came off between
Clark, the celebrated Staffordshire runner, and Freers, groom
to Captain Lauens, of the Guards, for 100 sovereigns, to run
(each in a contrary direction) round the outside of Hyde Park
and Kensington Gardens, starting from Tyburn-gate. Freers
ran along the Uxbridge-road, through Kensington-lane,
Kensington, Knightsbridge, Piccadilly, and Park-lane, into
Oxford-street, to Tyburn-gate, a distance of four miles and a
half, in 23 minutes and 45 seconds, beating Clark by upwards
of a quarter of a mile.—Standard.

Few persons perhaps are aware that ,VOO,OOO were left to
the University of Oxford by Michael Angelo Taylor, to build
a picture gallery and lecture rooms connected with science
and arts. A dispute having arisen between his relatives and
the trustees respecting the will, the latter, rather than risk
a suit in Chancery, ye agreed to take £75,000, and have
begun clearing the foundation for the building. They have
removed the old houses at the corner of Beaumont-street,
St. Giles's, nearly opposite St. John's College, which is the
most centrical they could meet with. "

DEATH OF MRS. BROUGHAIt THE MOTHER OF LORD
BROUGHAM.—Died, on the 31st December, at the hour of
ten in the morning, at Brougham Hall, 'Westmorland, in the
87th year of her age, Mrs. Brougham, widow of the late
Henry Brougham, Esq., and mother of Lord Brougham.
She was a lady of the most amiable disposition, and was
universally respected and esteemed, almost adored, by those
who had the honour of her acquaintance. No lady in the
north of England was more refined in her manners and beha-
haviour, and no one was more endeared to high and low, rich
and poor. Above all, she was truly a religious character ;
and the consolations which Christianity affords enabled her
to bear with fortitude and resignation the bereavements
which it washer lot to suffer. Reposing with confidence in
the all-wise disposals of Providence, she felt her sorrows as
a mother, who lamented the death of her children ; but she
bore her sorrows with the resignation of a Christian, who
hopes and expects to meet
in another
daidiednd ei n
happier
the L or,dv,ear
world,
whom she so much loved,
where there shall be no more sorrow, but where tears shall
Brougham
HunthNevhofriwenadshed us in his
of the poor
wasthat had to help him.
e wiped
cibiplteehdo
de fromfatherless,
eyes,sß,
rou
and of him none
dow posterity with that of her highlY
eyes to the blind, and feet was she to the lame."
Her me-
Teehae
sbhleesesainegseodf hthime
s,thidaotww,asshreeaardtyttoospinegnsfohrc
jaemx.e upon her,we
mery
tollwi be long held in reverence and esteem, and will go
-gifted eon.

The library of the late Dr. Butler, Bishilp of Lichfield, is
said to have cost him nearly £30,000.
On Christmas-day, a turtle, weighing two cwt., was found
alive on the beach near Christchurch-head. Salisbury
Journal.

James Smith, Esq., the author of " Rejected Addresses,
expired last Tuesday' morning, at his house, in Craven-street
London.

CAUSE AND EFFECT.—Perhaps there are no two words
which more distinctly point out cause and consequence than
these—gin and bitters !
Horses consume in England the produce of seven million
acres; there are one million horses for labour, and two hun-
dred thousand used for pleasure in England.
In the lowland neighbourhood, eastward of Wakefield,
there are large quantities of potatoes perishing in the ground,
in consequence of the wet season.
The Rev. 11. Pepys, brother of the lord chancellor, has
received the appointment to the see of Sodor and Man, va-
cant by the translation of Dr. Bowstead.—Ministerial paper.
LARGE MUSHROOM.—Last week, Mr. Benjamin Hartley,
stone-mason, got a mushroom 19 inches in circumference, in
a field belonging to Thomas Ashton, Esq., of Park House.—
Preston Pilot.

RURAL POLICE.—We understand that Captain Woodford,
the chief constable of the police force in Lancashire, has se.
Itcted Capta-in Willis to be the assistant chief constable.—
Lancaster Gazette.

A prospectus has just been issued for the formation of a
joint stock company for the manufacture of worsted and yarns,
at the city of Durham. It is proposed that the capital shall
be £30,000, in shares of £lOO each.

A star set with diamonds, and a dressing case beautifully
mounted in gold. are ordered of Rundell and Bridge by the
Queen, as a present for Prince Albert. Their cost will be
about £1,500.

So rapid has been the spread of civilisation in the Sand-
wich Islands that more than 800 English and American set-
tlers already reside in the capital, Honololu, and have esta-
blished a theatre among their public amusements.
Mr. George Child, innkeeper, of Criggleston, near Wake-
field, has now a second crop of apples this year, amounting
to nearly a score, upon a tree in his garden, which are nearly
as large and as well flavoured as the first crop.—Leeds In-
telligencer.
The head keeper of the forest of Munderich, near Doun-
stetten, in Wurtemburgh, killed an enormous wolf a few days
ago. The animal measured 5 feet 7 inches from the point of
the nose to the tip of the tail, was 2 feet 7 in height, and
weighed 87 lb.
CALICO PRINTING IN ITALY.—One of the most extensive
engravers to calico printers in Manchester is now executing
thirty-eight 9-Bth engraved copper rollers for a calico print-
ing establishment in Naples ! Messrs. M`Farlane and Briggs,
of Manchester, are making a three-coloured machine for the
same.

" Albert"—a name almost obsolete in this country—will
become not only fashionable but common after February
next; indeed, the ladies entertain the opinion that more Al-
berts will be registered in the course of next year than have
been chronicled for the last century.

We believe that the new commission of colonial lands and
emigration will consist of Colonel Torrens, who has hitherto
acted as chairman of the South Australian Board; of Mr.
Elliot, the agent-general of emigration ; and of the Hon. Ed-
ward Villiers, the brother of Lord Clarendon.—Globe.
John Matthew Galway, Esq., of the county of Waterford,
has made an abatement of 30 per cent. in the rents of all his
tenants who were spirit-dealers at Dungarvon and Abbeyside,
in consequence of the progress of temperance in that quarter,
to the great detriment of their receipts! ! !
Lord Francis Egerton, M.P., has determined to erect a
splendid mansion on his estate in Lancashire, Worsley Hall,
his present residence, being neither commodious for the
family nor agreeable to his lordship's taste. The new build-
ing is to be in the Gothic style of architecture, and will be
commenced immediately, a gentleman having left town to
superintend its erection.

We regret to observe the ship Sackville, Captain Fiddes,
from Sierra Leone, with a valuable cargo of African timber,
for this port, consigned to Messrs. Garratt and Gibbon,
having arrived off Penzance on the 19th instant, was blown
back, in the late easterly gales, as far as Scilly, became water-
logged, and sank ; crew saved by a French vessel, and landed
at Falmouth.--liampshire Telegraph.

REPORTED CHANGES.—It is whispered about among the
Whigs that Lord Fortesque is to leave Ireland, and to take
the place of Lord Normanby at the home department. That
Lord Normanby is to go to Paris, and Lord Grenville to
India, whither. Lord Normanby would have gone, but
that, "my lady" objected. The lord lieutenancy of Ireland,
it is said, will be accepted by the Duke of Devonshire.—
Morning paper.
PIGEONING A FORTUNE.—In 1834 a pigeon was shot on
the premises of Mr. Hughes, a cottage renter at Wotton,
Hants, in the crop of which a few grains of barley were found,
which Hughes sowed on his allotment. The produce was re-
sown four successive years, and in the last harvest has pro-
duced eight quarters and six bushels, which, at the present
price of malting barley, must be worth nearly. £2O.
Two men, near Buxton, have been, by a fall of earth, shut
up in a cavern five days, and four nights, although miners,
quarrymen, and colliers from a distance of twenty milesflocked
to the place to render.their assistance. When taken out the
men were found in a state of great exhaustion, but they are
fast recovering. "

Letters froM Italy slate that Venice has suffered dreadfully
'froth the rains and consequent inundations, which covered the
streets and squares with water, the waves injuring the palaces.
The sinking of the water has left the streets covered with pu-
trid matter; the shops and depots have had their contents
spoiled, and' the desolation is universal.

The Sardinian government, with a view to repress the
praCtice of duelling as much as possible, has denounced in the
penal code just promulgated, a heavy ponalty upon the survi-
vor in a fatal meeting, but made it reducible in proportion to
the provocation given, and the nature of the circumstances
attending the fight.
The action brought by Lady Lytton Bulwer's solicitors
against the proprietors of the Court Journal for a libel, con-
tained in his number of October 19, giving an account of an
alleged-scene.at Lady Ahner's soiree, in Paris, between Lady
Lytton Bulwer. and Mr. Henry Bulwer, but which never
took place, has been stopped,. owing to a notice from Sir
Edward Lytton Bulwer to his wife's legal advisers not to
proceed in his name.

NEW HOUSES OF PARLIAIuaN-r. —The embanking wall
which is to enclose the terrace on the river front of this
magnificent structure, is now considerably above the level
of high water. We understand the delay, or rather stoppage,
tvhich took place in the works was occasioned by the defici-
ency in the supply of the granite which was being used in
the structure; but this difficulty has been now removed by
the importation of large quantities of granite from the quar-
ries in the neighbourhood of Dalkey, a town on the southern
shore of the bay of Dublin.
At this: moment we are in a state of War with China;
and the loss to the British Exchequer in 1841, consequent
upon this state of things. will be no less than FOUR MIL-
LIONS STERLING ! There can be no doubt but that Govern-
ment have taken some measures to restore the trade with
China. What those measures are, we do not, of course,
pretend to be acquainted with, and must patiently abide the
time when her Majesty's ministers may deem it proper to
communicate the facts to the British public. Lancashire,
Yorkshire, Devonshire. and Scotland have severally lost a
good and profitable customer in China; and this loss, so
long as the intercourse is suspended, will continue to be felt
with increasing severity daily. Birmingham too, will neces-
sarily suffer greatly by this event.—Commercial Gazette.
Our merchants have much cause to complain of what is
doing at Buenos Ayres, if the news thence received be cor-
rect. It appears that owing to the blockade carried on by
the French, British property to a vast amount is locked up
and has been locked up for nearly two •years. Why is this
permitted? We have known when it would not have been
endured. By the last accounts, the French had landed a
body of men and taken complete possession of Monte
Video. Yet our ships of war, if present at all, are bade to
look quietly on. These things remind us of Dr. Croly's
celebrated Preface. When the government of England
leads to Papacy, or even connives at it, reverses, indignities,
and national degradations invariably follow. We must ex-
pect it.—Lancaster Gazette.
HUNT EXTRAORDIN A RY.-011 Friday, as the :deer
belonging to Colonel Brown, of the 2d rifles, quartered in
'Windsor, and whose military exploits have before been re-
corded, was accompanying the :regiment up to relieve guard
at the castle, he incautiously quitted the ranks, which being
observed by a large Newfoundland dog, named Baby, belong-
ing to the proprietor of the White Hart Hotel, he gave chase,
and was led, at a killing pace, along High-street to Sheet-
street, where as a bold soldier, the deer wheeled about, and
faced his pursuer, and Baby not being altogether thorough-
bred, and intimidated by the fierce position of the animal,
turned tail, but afterwards renewed the chase, at a respectful
distance, to the barrack gates, where the noble animal sought
and received protection in its own quarters.
TAE SEASON.—The proverbial fickleness of our climate
has been strikingly illustrated this season, and indeed this
week. On Saturday last a friend called and informed us
that there was at that time a pear tree, on the estate of Mr.
Simpson, in Quernmore, which was then in blossom and was
also bearing fruit which had acquired tolerable shape. This
for such a remote and hilly neighbourhood, and at such a
time of year, is remarkable, as manifesting the mildness of
the season. Last week also primroses were blooming in the
garden. On Sunday, however, a sharp and nipping frost set
in, so that the canal in many parts was coated thinly with ice.
On Monday morning the temperature was very low, but with
indications of approaching wet, and accordingly about noon
rain set in and continued to fall heavily till night. On
Tuesday we were again enjoying the mildness of autumn.—
Lancaster Gazette.

The anti-corn law men are labouring hard in their efforts
to bring about a repeal. Agitation of every description is
resorted to ; hired lecturers are traversing from town to
town ; the radical press is teeming with articles against the
landed interest; the working classes are called upon to de-
mand cheap bread ; and nothing is left undone which can in
any manner bring about the repeal of these laws, and the
consequent ruin of the landed interest. It therefore behoves
all who feel interested in this momentous question, on which
the very stability of the country depends, to be on the alert,
making preparations for contesting with the repeaters this
-great question in the next session of parliament. Petitions
should be prepared from every town and village in the king-
dom, public meetings should be held, the humbler classes of
society should be exhorted to co-operate in defending the
corn laws as the only means of maintaining for them a fair
remuneration for their labour.—Leeds intelligencer.
THE BRANDY AND SALT UNIVERSAL PANACEA.—We
have had several communications on this subject, and at the
request of many of our correspondents we repeat the recipe.
For the wonderful properties of the medicine, we refer our
readers to our paper of December sth. Method of making
the remedy :—Fill a bottle three-quarters full of brandy,
after which add as much salt as will till the bottle for corking ;
shake it together for ten minutes before it is used; let the
salt settle to the bottom, and be particularly careful to use it
when clear—the clearer the better. Many persons have made
a great mistake in shaking it before it is used. The efficacy
is not near so good, and to open sores the application is much
more painful, from the particles of salt which are not dissolved
in the brandy • but the salt and brandy should remain to-
gether, and when all the brandy is used off, more may be
added to the salt. Though it is ready for use in twenty
minutes after it is put together, it is good at any time after,
and it is a perfect medicine, as it has the rare quality of being
greatly efficacious for either internal or external application.
SUICIDE.—The family of Mr. Parke, bookseller, were on
Monday morning shocked by the discovery that one of Mr.
Parke's apprentices, about fifteen years of age, and of the
name of Arthur Kenneth Hay, had committed suicide in the
course of the previous evening. The unfortunate youth took
tea with the family as usual on Sunday, and went out a short
time afterwards, with the intention, it was supposed, of going
to a place of worship. At supper time he was absent, and
did not make his appsarance in the house afterwards. The
body was found quite stiff, in a small room at the top of Mr.
Parke's printing office, used merely as a lumber-room, about
eight o'clock the next morning, and a pnial bottle was disco-
vered near, which had contained prussic acid, no doubt the
cause of death. The mind of the deceased had latterly
seemed to be much unsettled by the reading of socialist pub-
lications, which he had procured without Mr. Parke's know-
ledge, and appeared to have studied with much attention.
The deceased, who was a youth of considerable promise, was'
son of Mr. Thomas Hay, of Shrewsbtiry, and nephew of
Mr. W. Hay, silversmith, of this town.—Wolverhampton
Chronicle.

TIDE TABLE.
Mrn. I Eon. I Height. Sundays, Holydar,
H. U. fT. If. M. I.
Tuesday 7 035 056 17 1 •
Wednes. 8 li6 128 16 10 Length of day 7h 42m.
Thursday 9 1'.51 216 16 7
FridaY' 10 238 249 15 10
Saturda3 11 311 342 14 9 Hilary Term begins.
Sunday 12 4 2 430 13 11 Ist Sunday after Epiphany.
Monday 13 5 5 530 13 0 Camb. Lent Term begins.