The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-05-22 00:00:00

111ISCELLANEOUS.

A patent, of a singular description, has lately been taken
out; it is for an invention to supersede the ordinary wooden
letters usually fixed upon the facia of shop windows. The
new letters are made of porcelain, of every form and hue,
and when fixed up, present a beautiful and attractive appear-
ance.

PLEASANT PROSPECT.—An American paper says, " The
Great Western brought us over a fresh supply of the swell
mob.' They stopped at the Astor house and Blancard's,
stole a quantity of sovereigns at each, and then disappeared.
This summer they will he as plentiful as blackberries. Each
steamer will bring a fresh lot."
SALMON.—It is a mistake to cook salmon quite fresh.
The flakes are hard—the oily matter which, by keeping,
insinuates itself into the flesh and renders it tender, is
curdy. Although fresh salmon is generally sought, and as
generally esteemed, a day's hanging is a manifest improve-
ment.—Sportsman in Ireland.
RESIGNATION OF MR. HARLAND, M.P.—Mr. Ilarland,
who at present sits and votes in parliament on the whig
interest, as a representative for Durham City, has issued an
address to the electors, in which he states that " on mature
consideration," he has resolved not to offer himself at the
next election as a candidate for their suffrages.
LINCOLNSHIRE.—It is said that Mr. Heathcote, the sham
conservative M.P., for South Lincolnshire, is about to
retire, with a view of setting up for Rutlandshire, on conser-
vative principles. If South Lincolnshire can only get the
opportunity, it will, to a moral certainty, return two good
men and true.

An Irishman having broke a small hole in the window of a
public-house, paid for it, and then went back and smashed
the pane to pieces, under the. impression, as he said, that he
" might do what he would with his own."
We have reason to believe, that at the present moment a
vast number of counterfeit Bank of England notes are in
circulation in this district of the kingdom, and the traffic in
base coin appears also to be carried on to an equally serious
extent.--Birmingham Advertiser.
ORTHOGRAPAY.-At the Bolton borough court, on Tues-
day last, a celebrated inspector of the force (an Irishman)
made his return for meat or meals the prisoners had con-
sumed, in the following terms :—" Return for males, &c.,"
meaning of course meals.
Mr. Le Marchant, Principal Secretary for the Board of
Trade, and Mr. N. MaDonald, Private Secretary to Lord
Morpeth, have been both named as likely to succeed the
lamented Mr. Drummond as Under Secretary of Ireland.
No appointment has yet been made.

DISEASE AMONG THE FISH IN THE CLYDE.—For some
time past, great quantities of small fish have been floating
along the Clyde apparently dead. Crowds of boys and women
are constantly on the look-out for them, and they are caught
in great numbers, with nets, baskets, &c.—Glasgow Chronicle.
The number of grocers and spirit retailers in this city and
liberties is reduced from 450 to 100. There are but three
applications for spirit licences in this city, to be made at
quarter sessions, before the mayor and magistrates.—Lime-
rick Chronicle.
TYPOGRAPHICAL. ERRORS.—ERRATUM.—For" A tail of
a terrier, founded on fat," read " A tale of terror," founded
on fact."—Maumee Express.

ADVICE TO PARENTS.—Rear up your lads like nails, and
they'll not only go through the world, but you may clencleem
on t'other side.—American paper.
The King of France has conferred on Mr. Cramer, the
distinguished pianist, the decoration of the Legion of
Honour.

It is understood that the first recommendation of the
commission of enquiry into the bankrupt and insolvent laws,
will be the immediate and total abolition of imprisonment
for debt.

How TO LIVE PEACEABLY.—The late Mr. Clarke, of
Frome, being asked by a friend, how he kept himself from
being involved in quarrels, replied, " by letting the angry
person have all the quarrel to himself."
A very fine trout, weighing 101bs. was this week netted
in the Thames, near the mouth of the Kennet. Two others
(one weighing Sulbs) were also caught by fair angling, in the
river, at Lower Caversham.
EPITAPH.—A person who married a termagent, who drove
him to desperation, and, finally, to death, just before dying,
requested a friend to have the following brief, yet pungent,
inscription put on his tomb :—" Slain by a jaw bone."
FORGERY.—Forgery appears to be greatly on the increase
in Scotland, and the Lord Justice Clerk has attributed the
deplorable fact to the relaxation of the law, by which the
offence is no longer held to be capital !

A letter from Darmstadt announces that the Prince de
Leiningen is about to pay a visit to the court of St. James's,
and towards the end of the summer will accompany his mo-
ther, the Duchess of Kent, over to Amorbach.
A London contemporary, amongst its leading matter, one
day last week, had this—" The news from Afghanistan is
favourable. Extremely cold weather had set in at Cabool,
and a great mortality had in consequence occurred among the
Sepoys!"

EXTRAORDINARY HEIFER.—On Thursday the 7th inst.,
Mr. William Bennet, butcher, of Fleetwood, killed a maiden
heifer, from Ireland, which weighed, when killed, 14 score
and 71bs. per quarter, aid had 1121bs. of loose fat, a circum-
stance unparalleled in that neighbourhood.—Preston Chro-
nicle.

Sixteen head of prime cattle, the property of T. Winnall,
Esq. of Eccleswall Court, near Ross, were lately poisoned,
in consequence of eating a quantity of meadow saffron, grow-
ing in one of the fields upon the farm : three or four of them
died, and the others were not expected to recover.
WHIG PATRONAGE AND ECONOMY.—It now appears that
besides the loss to the revenue by the new postage scheme of
a million a year, no less than 484 new appointments have
taken place in the Post-office in consequence of it,—the sa-
laries of which 484 officers must, we presume, be added to
the above loss.

The wife of a sawyer residing at Danbury has, on three
successive occasions within the last four years, presented her
husband with twins. The happy couple are each 28 years of
age only ; they now have nine children. The last pair pre-
sented themselves on Tuesday last.
LANARK.—A girl, named Keith, died on the 3d curt. in
consequence of having masticated and swallowed some larch
bark the day previous. A brother of the girl's was likewise in
great danger of perishing from the same cause ' • but we are
happy to state that he has recovered.—Glasgow chronicle.

A MAN OF THE WORLD.—As a proof that the saying
that Dent is a " place out of the world," is nearly correct,
we may state, that a person who has lived there thirty years,
happened to be in Kirby Lonsdale, on Tuesday, when the
First Dragoons came in, and said they were the first soldiers
he had ever seen in his life.A—Blackburn Standard.

A MONSTER.—Mr. Thomas Hartley, of Broughton-in-
Furness, has at this time in his garden a curled Brocoli, nine
feet high. It measures twenty-three feet round the branches,
two or three of which are from four to seven feet long ; round
the ball it measures six inches. This vegetable prodigy is

now in full flower.—.3faitchester Guardian.
Some one was remarking the other day at the Athenaeum,
on the oddity of Prince Albert having fixed upon a pair of
candlesticks as artappropriate present to make to Mr. Davis,
the huntsman. " Not at all odd," said Theodore Hook ;
"it was done that he might.he always ready to assist his

royal highness to a-lig ht."--Argus.
A THICK-HEADED FELLOW.—The Bordeaux papers
relate, that a sailor, on board a merchant vessel in that port,
getting intoxicated the other day, and taking a fancy to
destroy himself, threw himself twice down upon the deck
from one of the masts, a height of fifty feet, with his head
foremost, and without sustaining any injury ; but on making
the sad experiment a third time, he broke an arm and two of
his ribs, and received two severe wounds in the head. He
was carried to the hospital at Bordeaux, where, notwith-
standing the gravity of the injuries he has sustained, hopes
are entertained of hie recovery,--French paper.