The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1838-12-14 00:00:00

TO MARY.

I have seen the young morn, mild and gay,
Shed fragrance, the lark chanting high,
While dew drops bespangled each spray,
As they fell from morn's pensive blue eye.

I have seen those pure tears kiss'd away
By the sun, amidst rapture supreme,
And morn grow in beauty to day,
Like confidence succeeding a dream.
And rapture swell'd loud through the plain,
And jocund and happy all seem'd :
No reverses look'd for any swain,
Nor of blasts, nor of blights did he dream.
I have seen coy day scarce begun,
The sun's glorious rays all obscur'd,
And confiding young morn seem to shun
The display of her beauty, immued.

I have seen mist succeeded by storm;
Lightnings flash, and heard thunder loud roar;
Vapours subtle, destructive seen form,
And mar the fair promise morn wore !

And gloom brooded sullen, where late
Joy gladden'd the swain's buoyant heart;—
But pity for morn's hapless fate
No eye but the sun's could impart.

Dearest Mary! in this pictur'd see
The fate which too truly is thine:—
Oh! could but its page alter'd be,
What rapture of bliss would be mine !
Well, well do I remember the hour,
Your prospects were bright as the morn:—
All hail'd you as love's fairest flower;—
Some envied that me you'd adorn.

When timid you plighted your vow,
And sincerity's tear di►n'd your eye,—
I feel the soft thrill, as if 'twere now
The "dew-drop" kiss'd fondly had I!
And the merry bells gave their rich peal,—
The compliment joyous went round :
None augur'd of aught but of weal;—
How much the reverse we have found !

Soon the blast of false friendship cut down
The gourds which life's comforts rich bore:—
Oh ! so fell, so inhuman a frown,
A relative's treachery wore !

HE has "sown to the wind," and "the storm,"
Which e'en now howls in fury, pent up,
" HE will reap" in retributive form:—
Stern Justice hath mingl'd the cup!

Though the morn, which so fairly arose,
By blast and by storm-were deform'd,
The sun, ever constant, shun close
The day, by his influence warm'd.

He shines, though by murky, dense clouds
His splendour be hid from the day ;
And soon the base things which love shroud,
Shall be wip'd from your vision away!

All the cares, all the trials and fears,
Which so rudely have harass'd your breast,
Like a cloud, after weeping its tears,
Shall Leave a bright sunshine of rest !
Liverpool, December, 1838

W. A. H.

SOIREE SECUNDUS APUD INSTITUTION EM

REGALEM
LIBERA DESCRIPTIO ET CLASSICA

" Up lads et at 'em" declamavit bravissimus Wellington,
Quandoque bloody work intervenunt homines aped Waterloo.
Up Signor, et to 'em," declamavimus; the soiree, the soiree,
As, post prandium, lazily sorbillavimus our coffee.
We arrived a Colquit-street ; et prce ostio vehiculi,
Erant in long line. Heroinm giggled inside of them
Et generosi et ignobiles kicked up a-dust.
Policemen cried " make way" sub inspectorem Hatch, et
Dowling ducem. Door is open'd per footman qui requiret,
" Who are you?" Dixit Winstanley, " your ticket ?" Exhi-
bemus id;
All right: "that's, the ticket ;" ingrediare; walk in.
Off goes castor et pallium; et up stairs inter populos
We go ; et see large room ornatam cum belles et beaux
Plenty. Mediisque cactus there stood Bean Albii;
Bene what of it? Why, mirabile ! illius flunky
The Bean stalk non ilium comitat. Requiescat in pace.
Ecce circum feminas formosas; inatres providw
Populi magni; et in themselves spes tnagnw Britanncc.
Et among the folks ambulaverunt Yates of the Dingle,
Et Barclay non double X, sed double magistratus ;
Walmaley et called Joshua, (sed non filius Jacobi)
Caput consociationis Reform; et tall-boy Oxley,
Corn uxore novella quoque Formosa; et Green
Puppis illustris; never mind ; et Booth qui, est praetor to be;
Et Campbell, (rector;) et all the world and ilium uxor.
Huit heur; presto; to the theatre hastily we go
Doctorem Reynolds audire lecture on solid= gasis
De carbonic acid; oh criky! the theatre est jam-full
Such a crowd! not a seat! disorder, dismay, damnatos
hottis
Scramblans, squeezans, cramibantis, et sudans multus ;
Try ambulacrum; sed like Irishman's uxor, get from
Worser to worsen Oh blazes! Oh! hot as Tartarus;
Can't stand it, must stand it, pourquoi ? because, non pos-
sum sit it.
Puff, Puff; oh gelu! oh ventus! where are ye ? Es patientia;
Propter doctorem Reynolds begins.—Carbonic acid,
Dixit he, amat "darkness rather than light." Etiam
Si you suck it up, you certo will" cock your digiti.
Propter gravitatetnque illius, it is fond of
A rumble-cum-tumble. Miscete vitriolum, et aquam
Carbon. sodiumoue, et non est erratum gasis will fiss up.
Confine this in vase so strong it won't ruptem.
De pressure de Libra; quinque centum per inch. You squeeze
It so tight incipit a perspire; et pulvis est
Pitecinitatur ; veritas solidified gasis.
De gelo magno; facens pustulas on invading digits.
Innumera oblectaus experimenti nobis were shewn.
Unus ihickheadus thought gelare a candle light. My eyes I
Ventus blew it out; populi riant ; no go, poor fellow.
Et a brass box tegebatur albus over wi' hoar frost
Which Doctor Reynolds absterguit mernini, wi' his vipe.
Hot coffee successit ; sed all was a cram et push
So iter ad cast room ; sed oh ! proh pudor ; must cut it
Enim viginti doruinas Belvidere notabant
Nudum apollinem without blush. Oh ! shocking, Oh mama!
" Prwcise shocking." So cut our stick, et ivinaus domum.
T. C. F.

A poor woman, aged 102, lately made application for relief
to the Truro Union, which was promptly attended to.
HOSIERS' TRADE.—Itis gratifying to state, that the hosiers
in Nottingham have advanced the prices of making drawers,
pantaloons, and shirts, from 6d, to 9d. per dozen, according
to quality.
STRAW BONNETS.—In 1817, when straw bonnets first be-
came general, it was common to trim them with bunches of
artificial wheat or barley, in ear, on which the following lines
were written :
Who now of threatening famine dare complain,
When every female forehead teems with grain?
See how the wheat sheaves nod amid the plumes,
Our barns are now transferred to drawing-rooms,
And husbands who indulge in active lives,
To fill their granaries may thrash their wives!
- -

On Saturday last, the first iron steam-boat ever built in
Ireland was launched from the Foundry Yard of our ta-
lented and enterprising fellow-townsmen, Messrs. Coates
and Young. About three o'clock, the preliminary pre-
parations having been finished, the stays by which the
vessel was held on the stocks were removed, and she glided
majestically into the water, amidst the firing of ordnance
and the hearty cheering of a large number of spectators,
while she was christened the Countess of Caledon. :•,he is
of thirty horses' power, the property of the Ulster Steam
Navigation Carrying Company, is intended to ply on Lough
Neagh, to be employed as a tow-boat to the lighters navigat-
ing the lake, and is to be under the command of Mr. John
Little, who lately commanded the Lady of the Lake on Lough
Strang ford.—Belfast News. Letter.
OLD HooKCY.—\Ve have often heard persons called "Old
Hookey ;" but we were not aware of what gave rise to the
cognomen until the other day, when a friend informed us,
that an old gentleman used to pass regularly every morning
along the Strand, wearing an oldfashioned coat, with gaping
pocket holes on the outside. It scarcely need be added, that
he frequently found himself minus of his pocket handkeichiel,
by the time he reached Temple Bar. A thought struck him,
which he put into practice. He caused to be fastened inside
of his coat pockets several large fish-hooks; and thus pre-
pared, off he went as usual. When nearly opposite Essex-
street, he found a sharp tug at his pocket; then turning round
sharply, there stood a fellow making horrid faces, and scream-
ing out, with half a dozen hooks stuck in his hand.—" Ah!
(said the old man,) have I caught you at last ?" Considering
the punishment quite severe enough, he let the fellow go; but
ever afterwards, when he passed the place, a parcel of pick-
pockets used to cry out. " There goes Old Hookey,"
• -•

POSTOFFICE ROBBERY AT BRISTOL.—An investigation
has taken place before the Bristol magistrates, which has re-
sulted in the committal of a clerk in the postoffice, named
John Bodman, on a charge of felony. The circumstances
aie as follows :—On the 13th of October last, a gentleman,
named Stoddart, a carpet manufacturer, of Kidderminster,
put a letter into the postoffice at Bath, directed, "Mrs. Mary
Stoddart, Bampton, near Penrith, Cumberland," and en-
closed a £lO Bank of England note, bearing the number
A—G 99315, and a private memorandum by the writer; this
letter was forwarded in due course to Bristol, where it was
the duty of the prisoner to sort the bags, and to have sent on
the letter posted by Mr. Stoddart by the northern mail. The
letter not arriving at the place of its destination, an inquiry
was instituted, when the following facts were elicited:—On
the 15th of October a sum of £l6O was given to the prisoner,
Badman, to pay into Stuckey's Bank to the icredit of Mr.
Walton, the postmaster, and amongst the money then paid
in by him was the £lO note which had been posted by Mr.
Stoddart. The clerks of the postoffice clearly proved that,
in consequence of the office regulations, the note could not
have come legitmately into the hands of the prisoner, who
must have substituted it for a portion of the cash delivered to
him by the postmaster: and it baying been fully identified
by Mr. Stoddart, he was committed on the charge of stealing
it.—Bristol paper.
FRIGHTFUL ACCIDENT.—On the morning of Wednesday
week, a young woman, named Rachael Hopwood, aged about
23 years, met a sudden and frightful death at the factory of
Messrs. James Hacking and Co., of Heady Hill, Heywood,
where she was employed as a rover. She was carrying some
bobbins, and one or two of them fell; and she stooped with
difficulty to take them up, when her skirt was caught by an
upright shaft in rapid motion, and which was, at the particu-
lar place where her clothes came in contact, exposed by an
opening iu the casing. The poor woman, on finding she was
fast, threw up her arms, and seemed to resign herself to her
fate. The same instant her head struck against the frame,
and the blood flew out in all directions; the next round, her
brains were scattered on the floor; and when the engine was
stopped, her head was literally beaten off. Both arms and one
leg were also broken. It is exceedingly painful to narrate
these horrid circumstances; but the frightful consequences
of neglect cannot be too vividly described to millowuers, and
their superintending servants. The coroner's jury laid a
deodand of £5 on the shaft.-I.lfanchester Guardian.
MR. HILL'S PLAN OF POSTOFFICE IMPROVENENT.—
" That stamped covers, or sheets of paper, and small vignette
stamps, the latter if used to be gummed on the face of the
letter, be supplied to the public from the stamp-office, and
sold at such a price as to include the postage. Letters so
stamped to be treated in all respects as franks. That, as
covers of various prices would be required for various weights,
each should have the weight it is entitled to carry printed on
the stamp. That, if any packet exceeded the proper weight,
it should be sent to the dead-letter-office, opened, and re-
turned to the writer. That sheets of letter paper of every
description should be stamped in the part used for the address.
That wrappers such as are used for newspapers should also
be stamped, and that every deputy postmaster should be re-
quired to have them on sale. That the stamp of the receiv-
ing house should be struck upon the superscription, or duty
stamp, to prevent the latter from being used a second time.
Among the advantages more immediately to be derived from
this plan are-1. That the postoffice would be relieved alto-
gether from the collection of the revenue, and from all ac-
counts relating to that collection. 2. The present trouble of
receiving money for the letters would be avoided. 3. The
revenue would be collected in large sums at the stamp-office,
easily and at little cost." Here is a plan, then, as clear and
simple as can well be imagined, and which the mind, almost
without an efiort, can follow into its minutest details. There
would be nothing to do at the postoffice but to sort into towns
and places the letters which are to go out, and to distribute
those which arrive to the postmen of the different districts.