The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-08-11 00:00:00

POLITICAL CHARACTERS

(From the Oxford Herald.)
MR. T. S. DUNCOMBE.
" Some take him for a tool
That knaves do work with, call'd a fool ;
But they're mistaken very much,
'Tis plain enough he is no such.
We grant, although he has much wit,
He's very shy of using it,
As being loth to wear it out,
And therefore bears it not about,
Unless on holidays or so
As men their best apparel do."
Querulous old ladies, sentimental young ladies, and bloom-
ing matrons of the coteries of Mayfair and the parts there-
unto adjacent, may perhaps think we are treating the " wicked
wag," as they call him, rather harshly, when we apply the
above quotation from Hudibras to him. " Tom" is a un►ver-
sal favourite with the ladies, and as the " pretty dears" do
not generally patronise noodles, they will by no means like
to have it stated that this gay young man is
" a tool
That knaves do work with, call'd a fool."
But the fact is, that Tom has lately been playing such strange
antics in the House of Commons that he has fully proved
that even if

" he has much wit,

He's very shy of übing it."
Take as an instance his conduct with respect to that most
unmitigated vagabond, John Thorogood, and say whether,
after reading the speech be delivered on bringing forward his
motion relative to the release of that fellow from Chelmsford
gaol, you can set him down as other than one of " those tools
that knaves do work with." Fi-om his performances on tne
occasion referred to, it is really charitable to suppose that he
is one of the slid tools, or otherwise you will be obliged to
consider him a knave. Now we are anxious to think well of
" Honest Tom," as the Radicals call him, and we will there-
fore take it for granted that in the affair of Thorogood he was
the dupe of some of his knavish acquaintance on the radical
benches in the House of Commons. This is really putting a
very favourable construction on his conduct, and it is to be
hoped that he will feel duly grateful for it. Full well do we
know that the hon. member for Finsbury likes a joke as well
as any man living ; but we cannot help thinking that he was
not in a joking mood the other evening, when he entertained
the House of Commons with a repetition of the trumpery
nonsense, disgusting hypocrisy, and nauseous cant, which has
been dressed up during the last 18 months in the columns of
the Globe and Chronicle, and other Ministerial papers, with
reference to the self-inflicted imprisonment of the obscure
cobbler of Chelmsford. On the day to which we allude
" Tom" seemed quite in earnest, and it was really amusing

to hear the whining and snivelling tone, smacking strongly
as it did of the conventicle, (Tom Duncombe and the con-
venticle mentioned in the same breath !) in which he ex-
pressed his astonishment that the " Bishop of London could
lay his head calmly on his pillow, whilst the man Thorogood
was pining within the walls of a dungeon, for the non-pay-
ment of a church rate of five shillings and sixpence ;" the
Bishop of London all the time, as Sir Robert Inglis justly
observed, having as much to do with the matter as the Queen
has with the summonses and warrants issued in her name, by
every justice of the peace. Giving Mr. Duncombe, as we
do, credit for more than the average portion of intelligence
which fall to a radical, we are really astonished to see the
exhibition which he made of himself on, the evening in
question. To us the whole affair was incomprehensible.
Humbug (this is an ugly word, but as we can find none bet-
ter or more appropriate, the use of it must be allowed and
excused) humbug, and humbug of the grossest kind, is the
stock in trade of a radical; take it from him and his mouth
is shut—deprive him of it and his " occupation's gone,"
he becomes a nonentity, Of course in the case of this pre-
cious Mister Thorogood more than a liberal allowance of
humbug was to be expected ; but we confess we did feel a
little surprised that our Tom Dumcombe should have deli-
vered all the stupid trash that he did, as though he were
fully convinced of its truthfulness. Had he addressed the
balderdash in question to the electors of Finsbury, it might
have been all very well ; but to address it to the House of
Commons, with a serious face, seemed to us to require more
brass than even Duncombe himself possesses. Deliver it to
the house however he did, and lie delivered it, as we have
just intimated, as if he had been making a speech of states-
manlike character, on a subject of surpassing importance.
For a man like the hon. member for Finsbury to have done
this, without betraying himself, seems to us almost impossi-
Bible ; and therefore it is that we are led to believe that on
this one occasion he allowed himself to be made a tool in the
hands of his compatriots. Assuming such to be the case,
we are forced to the conclusion that Duncombe is not so
clever a fellow as we have hitherto taken him to be. Perhaps,
however, his wit may be great, but he did not feel disposed
to throw it away in such a trumpery matter.
" being loth to wear it out,
And therefore bears it not about,
Unless on holidays or so,
As men their best apparel do."

Mr. Thomas Slingsby Duucombe belongslo an aristocratic
family of, we believe, conservative opinions. The only rea-
son that can be assigned why Mr. T. S. D. thought fit to set
up as a radical is the anxiety he felt to be something different
to the rest of his order. That he cares one straw for " libe-
ral " opinions no man in his senses believes : he would be a
conservative to-morrow if he thought that anything substan-
tial could be gained by it. It is generally understood that he
is anxious to get a place, and we must candidly confess that
he is as well deserving of one as any man on the ministerial
benches. Although he has been in his hot youth rather wild,
and is still what is called " a gay young man," notwithstand-
ing he is on the wrong side of forty, he is regular in his at-
tendance in the house, and would, there is no doubt, fulfil
the duties of any office to which he might be appointed with
industry and ability. Why do the whigs not give him sone
subordinate post ? By doing so they would gain the support
of man who would render them assistance ten times more
efficient than can be obtained from a thousand Horsman's or
five hundred Mr. Stanley's. But the ministers are such
precious dunderheads that they cannot discover talent in the
rising young men of their own body ; and even if the talent
be too apparent not to be seen, they have not tact to secure
it. Well, so be it ; it is a matter of which the conservatives
have not much reason to complain.
The personal appearance of Mr. Duncombe is that of a
perfect gentleman. He dresses well, but without the slightest
approach to foppery. He is a fine looking fellow, well built,
rather tall, with agreeable features and coal black hair and
whiskers ; he is quite a lady killer. As a " political charac-
ter "he professes himself an ultra radical. He can speak well
on any matter, but he is no orator. Certainly his constituents
have no reason to complain of him, for he is generally Al the
house both early and late.
Duncombe had great difficulty in getting into parliament.
He tried several times to secure the representation of
Hertford, but without success. Eventually he contrived to
ingratiate himself 'into the favour of the free and inde-
pendent" electors of the borough of Finsbury. On his
canvass Tom made himself all things to all men : to the
ladies also he paid great attention, and the consequence was
that through their good offices he obtained many others,
which would otherwise have been given to his opponents.
" Oh ! my dear Mrs. Smith," Tom used to say, on entering
a house, " you look better than I ever remember to have
seen you—the same beautiful face, the same brilliant eye ;
oh ! your charms will never die ! Could you, my dear
Mrs. Smith—could you just ask Mr. Smith—l may say my
highly esteemed friend, Mr. Smith, to give me his vote at the
next election ?" Of course Mrs. Smith promised, and of
course poor Mr. Smith was obliged to vote for Mr. Dun-
combe. " Bless me !" exclaimed Tom, on going into the
next house, and seeing a fat, chubby, and very dirty child
sprawling on the floor, and bawling most lustily, " Bless
me ! what a beautiful child ! how graceful are its movements,
how musical its voice ! Of that child you, my lovely Mrs.
Timkins, must be the parent ; it is the counterpart of you.
Talking of children, by the by, reminds me that I have to
ask you to ask Mr. Timkins to vote for me at the next elec-
tion. You will do so, will you not ? Oh ! I knew you
would ; thank you, thank you, my dear madam, thank you."
" What! my old and valued friend Jenkins," said Tom, on
entering the residence of that gentleman, " How are you,
my dear friend, how are you ?" " Sir !" exclaimed Mr.
Jenkins, drawing himself up, and looking coldly on his
visitor, for Mr. Jenkins was a clerk in one of the govern-
ment offices at a salary of Xl2O per annum, and Mr. Jenkins
was accordingly a little exclusive in his notions, and as he did
not remember his visitor, was not disposed at first to encourage
much familiarity. "Is it possible! continued Tom, " that.
you can have forgotten when we were at school together ?
Ah ! those happy days!" (Tom, be it observed, was educated
at Eton. and Mr. Jenkins at the charity school of St. Some-
body in the city). " But I am sure, my dear Jenkins, that
you will give me your vote and influence at the next election."
" Can't say," said Mr. Jenkins, " can't say, until I know
what political principles you entertain." " Very right, my .
dear friend, very right; would to heaven that every elector
acted in the same way ! would to heaven they took you for
their pattern ! My opinions, my dear friend, are patriotic—
atgrind the vitals of the poor ; they sup-
• • d the march of mind ; they advocate the
tphort is,ed otchaetyi onb jaenc I to
advancing intelligence of the age, and are based on the im-
movable basis of patriotism. Sir, I hold that every man must
act in accordance with the convictions of his own mind ;
may even go so far as to say, the dictates of his own consci-
ence. From these premises, then, what other conclusion can
follow than that the march of mind must march on and not
stand still? Yes, Sir, we shall live to see that day when in-
tellect will assert its supremacy, and come to the rescue of
Magna Charta from the insidious approaches of the Bill of
Rights. This brings me to the question of the Corn Laws as
connected with the proposed system of National Education,
and here I would observe, in the words of the great Roman
poet, _ .

` P
Let man only act
tteo
nmtahrai bt upsr
itrri
ci
pulue natnudr int
haes cRu
el a dices.'
Bill
will
then be immutable. Having thus detailed my views on these
great questions, I have only to observe that I am a Reformer,
and that I would reform every thing and any thing, from an
old shoe up to the Constitution. These are my sentiments,
and I glory in them. I see by your intelligent look that you
perfectly understand them, and that you will oblige me with
your vote." "En !" said Jenkins, with a sadly puzzled look
Oh—yes—ah—that's just my way of thinking. Sir, I
shall be most happy to vote for you."
Why, Duncombe," said one of his friends, " what non-
sense you talk to be sure, and how you butter the women."
" All human natur and soft sawder," as Sam Slick calls it,
said Tom. '`All right, my friend!"
And all right it was for Mr. Tom, for by a liberal use of
" human natur and soft sawder" he contrived to creep into
the representation of Finsbury, very much to his own satis-
A. T. T. Y.
faction.

NOVEL ADDRESS.—The following address is copied ver-
batim from a letter which passed through Chesterfield post-
office during the last week :—" A man who has a great head
and belly, and cherry orchard, and swears very much, at
Ridgeway, in Eckington parish."—Devonshire Courier.