The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-07-03 00:00:00

GRAND BAZAAR AT WOOLTON HALL.

The advantage of the institution of bazaars in this coun-
try of late years, for the promotion of spiritual and moral
benefits amongst the poor, and by which the benevolence of
the more fortunate classes in society, and, in particular, the
ingenutiv an. Ulia A. _
have been excited to a most praiseworthy degree—was never
more happily illustrated than by the grand Fancy Fair which
commenced at Woolton Hall on Wednesday last, with a
spirit which remained unabated throughout yesterday, and
which, we trust will continue to manifest itself on this, the
closing day, when the whole, as well as the beautiful grounds
attached to the hall, will be accessible to the public at a very
moderate charge of admission.
The object of the bazaar, which originated in the warm
wishes of the wealthier individuals in the neighbourhood in
behalf of the poor in particular, is the building of schools
and a parsonage-house, in connection with the new church
in Halewood, and the paying off of some outstanding claims.
The propriety and generosity of such a purpose was imme-
diately acknowledged throughout the vicinity of Halewood,
and a comparatively very brief public announcement has al-
ready produced results even more gratifying than were an-
ticipated by the most sanguine originators of the project.
The patronesses of the bazaar are her Majesty the Queen
Dowager, the Right Hon. the Countess of Sefton, Lady
Stanley, and Lady Frances Egerton and the Hon. Mrs. C.
Stanley and Mrs. Bootle Wilbraham.
The Ashton family, of Woolton, on this as on all possible
occasions, evinced their good feeling and liberality, not only
by their contributions and individual exertions towards the
required funds, but by their freely giving for the holding of
the bazaar the use of the suite of rooms, and the services of
their domestics, at the hall, doubtless at considerable expense
and sacrifice of personal convenience ; and the central and
attractive situation of that fine building was itself a great and
welcome acquisition to the cormjaittee:of management. They
did even more. Mrs. Ashton, in order to afford au addi-
tional attraction, threw open the beautiful pleasure grounds
attached to her mansion for the recreation of the public who
might attend, and the treat, hitherto gratefully acknowledged
by all, will, we trust, be this day enjoyed by many of our
townsmen and fair townswomen who have not had an oppor-
tunity of being present. We can assure them of meeting
with a treat, not only as regards the bazaar itself, but its
whole accompaniments, which, held at a fine old English re-
sidence, where every one is welcome who goes to contribute,
however small the gift, to the object in view, partakes of all
the pleasures of a fete champetre, combined with the grati-
fying reflection to the visitors, that, in the self gratification
of the moment, they are doing good to others.
The morning of Wednesday was exceedingly unfavourable
for the bazaar, particularly as regarded parties in this town,
or at a similar distance from the spot. The rain fell heavily
in almost continuous showers until nearly mid-day, and a
large number of persons were doubtless under the necessity
of relinquishing their intention to attend, their time for so
distant a journey being then too limited. Towards noon,
however, the day brightened up, and though the weather
continued to be occasionallly cloudy and threatening, no fur-
ther downfall took place, and the company, in numerous
carriages, on horseback, and on foot, continued to pour in
from all quarters. The rooms eventually became crowded,
even to inconvenience. The sole entrance was by the ledge
gate, in the village of Woolton, and the fine drive thence
through the fields to the hall, on several occasions during
the day, presented an almost constant line of carriages.
Ashton Hall, it will be known to many of our readers, is a
fine English mansion, of red free-stone, built in the Grecian
style. The principal front is to the east, overlooking a de-
lightful expanse of country iu that direction. The wings are
surmounted by pediments, and the porch is semicircular,
with a colonnade. Between the upper and lower windows of
the wings are inserted classical medallion representations in
alto, circular in form, and white. Similar ornaments are
inserted in the entablature of the centre portion of the build-
ing. The north front, facing a lawn, is of greater extent.
The centre is slightly in projection, with a pediment, which
is surmounted by three statues, continuous with which are
decorative urns. These being white, contrast well with the
dark hue of the stone of which the building is constructed.
The drawing-room forms a handsome one story wing or con-
tinuation of this front to the westward, in which direction it
has two large pedimented windows, with two three-quarter
fluted composite columns at each end, surmounted by a hand
handsome cornice with tryglits. The west front of this
drawing-room, which looks out upon a beautiful lawn, backed
by noble and varied forest trees, is the most ornamental por-
tion of the building. A marquee was on this occasion pitched
opposite to it for the accommodation of the visitors.
The rooms became thronged soon after one o'clock, and
presented an array of beauty and fashion rarely witnessed on
such an occasion. We.need searcely say that all the gentry
of the neighbourhood, or portions of their families, were pre-
sent, for all took a warm interest in the bazaar, and slight
differences of opinion were merged in the generous object of
this " gathering of the clans."
Amongst many others whom we did not recognize, or
could not distinguish in the gay and joyful throng, were
(and we note them promiscuously) :
Miss Hornby, from Knowsley, who arrived in the family
carriage ;
Mr. Sandbach and family,
Mrs. Earle, of Spekelands ;
Mr. and Mrs. Langton,
Mrs. Ashton,
Mrs. H. Ashton,
Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Leicester,
Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Rathbone,
The Misses Lace, of Throstle-Nest;
Mr. and Mrs. Wm. Fletcher,
Mr. Walter Fletcher,
Mr. and Miss Maxwell and Miss Boyd,
Miss Formby,
Miss Fanny Williams,
Mr. James Bourne,
Mr. James Rigby,
Mr. and Mrs. Phipps,
Mr. and Mrs. George Lawrence,
Miss Fanny Willis,
Mrs. Edward Willis,
Mr. and Mrs. Bright,
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Booth,
Mr. Robert Neilson,
The Rev. Mr. Lister,
The Rev. Jabez Jones, the minister of Halewood Church ;
Mr. Joseph Need Walker,
Mr. Alderman Earle,
Mr. Henry Lawrence,
Mr. and Mrs. T. B. Barclay,
Mr. Heyes, of Prescot, coroner, and family ;
Mr. Pemberton, of Prescot;
Mr. Pattison Ellames, of Allerton Hall; •
Mr. George Fleetwood, of Tarbuck ;
Mr. Moss, of Halewood ;
Misses Willis, of Halsnead ;
Mr. Lamb, surgeon, of Walton ;
Mr. Pearson, surgeon ; and many others.
The suite of rooms appropriated to the bazaar were—the
dining room, a fine lofty apartment, panelled in oak, and
hung with oil paintings belonging to the family ; the tapestry
room, adjoining ; and the drawing room, in which the re-
freshments were served. The carriages, on setting down,
drove on past the house, by a continuation of the avenue,
into the high road below, so that they did not require to
drive in contrary directions on the ground.
On entering, the visitors were ushered into the hall—a
spacious apartment, flagged with blue-veined marble, in
which there were sofas and chairs for the accommodation of
the guests when fatigued. Immediately opposite the door
there was a beautiful collection of flowers in pots, consisting
of fine geraniums, myrtles, moss-roses, fuchsias, and a great
variety of rarer greenhouse plants, amongst which we ob-
served two fine specimens of the egg-plant in full bearing.
These were on sale, and were ticketed at very moderate
prices. There were also beautiful bouquets of flowers in
water. Here, for want of room in the larger apartments,
were also several articles of handiwork, amongst which was
a well-made " bazaar" in miniature, held under a tent, with
stalls plenished with numerous minute articles, and a goodly
company making their purchases or conversing in groups.
This, being a large article, it was purposed to dispose of it by
lottery. Near it were a variety of useful utensils turned in
white wood—plates, spoons, bowls, rolling-pins, &c., which
met a fair demand in the market. The hall was throughout
the day the happy scene of meeting of numerous parties who
had not seen each other for some time, and the introduction
to each other of many who, no doubt, from that day and
occasion, may date the commencement of a friendship to be
prolonged with mutual ardour for years yet to come.
It were beyond both our limits and our power to describe
minutely the company congregated at the bazaar, or the vast
variety of articles exposed for sale at the hour of " high
change." The scene was at once beautiful and interesting.
The ladies, at all times charming, looked doubly beautiful,
when, with sparkling eyes, and kind (we may add irresistible)
invitations to purchasers, they were busily engaged in the
work of benevolence which they had undertaken. Each
seemed to exert herself as if the whole success of the fair
depended upon her alone ; yet, unlike mercantile competi-
tors in the ordinary walks of like, no jealousy was manifested
amongst them • on the contrary, they all assisted each other,
and if one failed to effect a sale to a passer-by, she was as
much delighted at the success of a more fortunate sister
vendor as if it were her own. The stalls or tables were very
large, and were arranged so as to leave a space in the centre
for the company. They were assiduously attended to by the
following ladies and their assistants :
Mrs. Ashton,
Mrs. Walker,
Mrs. Foster,
Mrs. Ambrose Lace,
Mrs. W. Earle,
Mrs. R. Earle,
Mrs. Jones, and
Mrs. Leicester.
Amongst the various articles exposed, were numerous
beautiful specimens of needle-work in silk and worsted, ex-
hibited in embroidery and tapestry, cushions, footstools,
chairs, reticules and bags, slippers, caps, pictorial represen-
tations of flowers and figures ; silk patchwork, fire-screens and
hand-screens, ottomans, stools, baskets, figures in correct
foreign costume, &c., &c. ; also, beautiful oil paintings, and
water colour and pencil drawings, chimney ornaments in great
variety, card and other baskets, articles of furniture, toys,
trinkets, beads, dolls, doll's bedsteads,. (a large and fine
assortment,) children's dresses, artificial flowers, penknives,
and other cutlery, handsome wood snuff-boxes and cigar

cases, a variety of fancy basket and card work, fine veneered
and other tables, &c., &c. One piece of embroidery within
a gilt frame—a central bouquet of flowers, on a black ground,
with a floriated border, was much admired, and was valued
at £lO 10s. Od. There was a handsome fire-screen, the
needle-work of which was the patient and beautiful work of
Lady Stanley. We noticed also a splendid square cushion
with embroidered corners, and a central flower piece, on a
rich lavender-coloured silk. There was also a scagliola round
table, divided on the top into compartments, containing five
brightly-coloured landscapes. Many of the shawls, both em-
broidered and wrought, were deservedly admired. The toys
were numerous and well made, and the young folks who at-
tended were quite delighted, and walked about with arms full
of highly-prized novelties in this line. But we could not ob-
tain a glimpse, during our hasty review of the rooms, of one-
half of the articles produced. Suffice to say that all was
beautiful, and that the exhibition, as a whole, reflected the
greatest credit on the taste, ingenuity, and industry of the
fair artists, and on the liberality of the other donors.
Amongst the articles on sale was a well-executed litho-
graphic drawing of Halewood Church (in connection with
which will be the intended schools). This was the produc-
tion of our townsman, Mr. M`Gahev, lithographer, Lord-
street, and was much admired. There was also a beautiful
view of Ashton Hall, equally appropriate on the occasion,
etched and lithographed by Mr. Lamb, surgeon, of Woolton,
and a most creditable specimen of that gentleman's taste and
talents as an amateur artist. Another most interesting arti-
cle were copies, neatly printed, of the following verses on the
occasion, written by a young lady, and honourable alike to
her head and her heart :

" Ye rich and gay approach to Woolton Hall,
Attend its owner's charitable call;
'Tis not for luxury or fashion's sake,
'Tis not to court the homage of the great;
But piety and love invite to-day,
0 ! then with cheerfulness the call obey.
Ye, who 'mid wealth and plenty dwell secure,
Remember now the ignorant and poor ;
0 ! if the word of life hath bid you live,
" Freely ye have received, freely give."
By now exchanging money for a toy,
ou may impart that word of life and joy,
May bid immortal souls the blessings share,
Of Bible knowledge, and a Pastor's care ;
Erect a Temple to Jehovah's name,
And Gospel tidings to the poor proclaim;
Who can in such a cause refuse their mite?
Rather let all in Christian love unite,
And only seek each other to out-vie,
In aiding most this cause of charity.
Each stall doth elegance and use combine,
Here, humble clothing—there embroidery fine;
For rich or poor, for youth or feeble age,
To suit each taste, each station, we engage
Some pleasing trifle to present to view,
ItayarviatiLTAdrgeling-WitiMii.glow,
And let your hearts with love and jov-o'crflow;
Remember every shilling you expend;
To spread the knowledge of our God shall tend;
Forgotten be each wish for self-applause,
Let Christ's example be the moving. cause,
From whence the action and the gift cloth spring;
And give the praise and glory all to Him;
So may He from His Father's throne above,
Be pleased to smile upon our work of love !"
These lines were so much admired that the whole of the
first impression printed was sold off on Wednesday.
The gentlemen, and particularly those of the committee,
were also active agents for the principal venders, and nume-
rous articles were successfully put up by lottery, to the no
small amusement of all and the especial delight of the winners.
Amongst those who were peculiarly active, and to whom
much of the success of the fair is to be attributed, were the
Rev. Ellis Ashton and the Rev. Robert Lister. Mrs. Ash-
ton, the worthy owner of the domain, commanded by her
politeness and assiduity a large sale ; and her competitors,
animated by the same spirit, were scarcely less fortunate.
The refreshment-room was replete with every delicacy that
could be desired, in addition to a plentiful supply of such
substantials as beef, chickens, ham, tongues, &c. There
were also ices, jellies, pies, tarts, and other confectionery,
together with wines of every description, the whole provided
for the occasion by ladies and gentlemen of the neighbour-
hood, and served in true old English abundance.
While the bazaar was going on, the pleasure-grounds were
a great attraction to those not actually engaged in the rooms,
and a source of intermediate relaxation to many from con-
tinuous attendance at the hall. The grounds are beautiful,
and laid out in an admirable manner for the enjoyment of
the retirement and solace ever afforded to contemplative
minds in wandering amidst scenes of sylvan beauty and re-
pose,—but we have not room for a particular notice. On
the west and north sides of the mansion extends a beau-
tiful lawn, as smooth as velvet, bounded on the west
by forest trees of large growth, around the margin of
which are others of a less towering height, together with
decorative shrubs harmoniously blending the lower and
loftier verdure of the landscape. The feathering larch,
the silver fir, and the brown beech tree, are here min-
gled with the tall sycamore, the lime tree, the birch, and
the oak. The visitor may penetrate the wood from each
side of the. lawn, and make a winding, and somewhat
tortuous circuit of the whole by a dry walk covered with
red free-stone sand. Delightful glades, or openings, are
formed here and there, with a considerable breadth of grass
on each side, beyond which are flowering shrubs, evergreens,
and occasionally flowers. From the skirts of the wood on
the west side, beautiful views are obtained .of Allerton,
Cheshire, and the Welsh monntains ; and from the south
west angle, where a fine mansion is erected, may be seen
the whole semi-circular expanse of country from beyond
Warrington and Prescot to Eastham and Mod Famma, in-
cluding Runcorn, Halton Castle, and the hills behind them,
—the Mersey forming in appearance from this point a semi-
circle of silver through the wooded country below. In these
walks there are pleasing little embayments bounded by rocks,
little passes made by rockeries, rustic alcoves covered with
ivy and honeysuckle, and numerous other attractions for the
lovers of rural scenery. Groups of ladies and gentlemen and
children, or solitary strollers, continued to perambulate the
walks until long after the closing of the bazaar, yet so ex-
' tensive are the grounds that each party was, as it were,
isolated from the rest. _ _

At five o'clock the bazaar closed for the day, and the num-
ber of private carriages in attendanee from all parts of the
neighbourhoood was great. The ladies who had kept the
stands, delighted with their success, seemed but little affected
by the truly fatiguing operations of the day,—for no toil is
so easily sustained as that which is done eon amore. The
gentlemen too were as sprightly and persevering to the last
as in the first hour of their labours, and all seemed to anti •
cipate with delight the renewal of the fair on the morrow.
Two or three of the rural police were in attendance, merely
for the purpose of instructing the several coachmen in the
regulations to be observed, and not the slightest confusion
or inconvenience took place throughout the day.
Soon after the close, we learned with great satisfaction that
not less than £5O was taken for admission (at 2s 6d each) ;
and that in the whole, the amount received exceeded the
handsome sum of five hundred pounds.

SECOND DAY, (YESTERDAY.)
The attendance this day was remarkably good, considering
the state of the weather. The receipts as far as could be as-
certained last night amounted to £3OO. or thereabouts.

This day Friday (the concluding day of the bazaar), the
public will be admitted to the Hall and grounds for the
reduced sum of one shilling each. We doubt not, should
the day be fine, but many of our townmen and fair towns-
women will visit the fancy fair and the grounds, from which,
we feel assured they will return with feelings of the utmost
satisfaction.

We cannot conclude without expressing our sincere ac-
knowledgments to the Rev. Mr. Lister, to Mr. Walter
Fletcher, to Mr. Baker (clerk of Woolton Church), and
other gentlemen whose names we did not obtain, for their
politeness and attention during a period of arduous exertion
and anxiety on their part.

We shall notice the result of the three days at Woolton in
our next.

We understand that Professor Birtinchamp intends de-
livering a series of Lectures in this town, on the science of
teaching modern languages.
THEATRE-ROYAL.-Mr. Power takes his benefit this
evening (Friday), and we cannot doubt that the attendance
will be crowded. On Monday, Madame Vestris, Mr. Charles
Mathews, and Mr. James Vining will commence an engage-
ment.

SHOCKING ACCIDENT.—A shocking accident occurred at
noon on Wednesday, near the slip at Seacombe. A lady,
named Mitchell, residing with her brothers in the village
there, had the imprudence to bathe while the sea was running
high, though cautioned of the danger. She was washed off
the slip and carried away by the current, and though one or
two persons swam to her assistance, and she rose to the sur-
face several times, she could not be saved. Her body was
recovered at low water, having been left on the sands by the
retiring tide. Her age was about thirty.
THE LIVER THEATRE.—Mr. Raymond has purchased the
entire of Mr. Hammond's share and interest in the Liver
Theatre, under assignment from the sheriff of Lancashire,
who has had an execution in, at the suit of Mr. Fisher, of
Doncaster, for some months past. Mr. Raymond is now
sole proprietor and lessee of this popular establishment.
An impressive sermon was preached by the Rev. F. Ould,
on Sunday last, at Christ Church, in aid of the funds of the
Liverpool Infirmary, and a collection made of £52 15s. 6d.
We trust this example will be followed by the other ministers
of the Establishment, as we learn, with deep regret, that
this old and useful establishment is deeply in debt, and, un-
less relieved by contributions and additional subscriptions,
will be obliged to lessen very considerably the assistance
hitherto afforded to the suffering poor.
His Grace the Archbishop of York has been pleased to
appoint John Simpson, proctor in the Consistory Court of
Chester, to be a proctor in the Ecclesiastical Courts of
York, in the room of Joshua Mills, Esq., deceased.
BIRKENHEAD FAlR.—This fair, hitherto most for cattle,
horses, cheese, &c., will take place this day. We shall furnish
an account of it in our second edition.

ENORMOUS Fisn.—A sturgeon was recently caught in
Finn-on-water, county Donegal, of the following extraordi-
nary dimensions : Length, 9 feet 8 inches ; girth, 5 feet ;
weight, 341 lbs. It is now to be seen at Mr. Porter's salmon-
vaults, St. John's Market, where it will remain for a day or
two. So large a sturgeon has never before, we believe, been
imported into this country. The only one approaching to it
was brought to Liverpool last year, and was within 60 lbs. of
the same weight. This was also the property of Mr. Porter.
—Courier.

•
BRICK-MAKERS' TURN-OUT.—The misunderstanding be-
tween the brick-makers and some of their employers, we re-
gret to find, has not yet been adjusted. Several men are,
therefore, still out of work, and a few strangers have been
employed in their place. Some damage having been done to
the bricks made by these, police were placed to watch the
fields, and on Sunday morning last a policeman, on duty in
Vauxhall-road, saw three men about two o'clock on the
Canal bank, north of the Cotton mill. They were armed
with an axe and two pokers, but on being challenged they
fled : he pursued, but they being better acquainted with the
nature of the ground, effected their escape. On the alarm
being given, it was found that they had walked over and de-
stroyed, several thousand bricks belonging to Mr. Johnson.
One of them is known, and the police are on the look out for
him.

LINE ENGRAVING.—VIEW Or LIVERPOOL.—We have
been much pleased with the etching of an engraving which
has been exhibited to us and some of our contemporaries,
and which will, we believe, when completed, be one of the
best productions of modern art that has yet appeared tto can-
vass public patronage. It is an engraving by one of the first-
rate artists, from a painting by Chambers. The view is taken
from the Seacombe Shore, and comprises the whole extent of
the river, from the north to the south docks ; an infinite
number of objects along the shore ; and, lastly, presents a
complete view of the principal buildings of which Liverpool
can boast.

TRADESMEN'S INSTITUTION.—Ifie are very much grati-
fied in being able to state, that notwithstanding the late hour
at which the shops are closed at this season of the year, the
rooms of the above excellent institution are well attended,
and that classes on various improving subjects are in full
operation. That on elocution, under the direction of Pro-
fessor Duncan, is highly interesting. A discussion class
meets on Tuesday evenings, and Friday evenings are set apart
for a conversazione, at which vocal and instrumental music,
recitations, reading of original and select essays, on moral
and scientific subjects, chymical experiments, exhibitions of
machinery, &c., form the entertainments of the evening.
The institution is well entitled to the support of the public.

SKETCHES OF THE JOLLY CLUB.

(Written for the Liverpool Standard.)

JOE RATTLER'S PLANS FOR PRODUCING EFFECTS,
EFFECT THE FIRST. •
" Well," said Joe, " we have seen most of Liverpool,
suppose we have a trip over the water. I have a curiosity to,
see what kind of a place your New Brighton is. From its
name I should imagine there must be something more than
ordinarily stylish about it."
" Be it so," I replied, and we embarked forthwith for that
interesting and elegant resort of fashion, at which, after a
delightful passage of something less than an hour and a
half—during which we amused ourselves by looking out for
porpoises and dolphins, but not being successful, were accom-
modated by a lady with a powerful telescope, six inches long,
which enabled us to see Bootle land-marks, with a variety of
bathing-machines, bathers, and other extraordinary objects,
almost as well as with the naked eye—we at length arrived,
and were consigned wit a number of other passengers into a
punt—it would be a libel on that respectable machine to call
it a boat—and propelled for about a hundred yards shore-
wards, by a couple of long poles. At length a sudden jerk
pitched some of the party on their faces, giving the remain-
der also a kind of " shaking up," by way of improVing any
acquaintance they might have formed during the passage.
" Aground, Joe; jump out!" and -Joe managed the feat.
For those who were not so alert, a conveyance was provided
after this fashion--" Now, mart, please get on my back ;"
and one by one, the long-legged portion trailing their lower
extremities in the water, the whole freight were placed upon
terra firma.
Having landed, or rather sanded, for land appears to be
out of the question at New Brighton, we sauntered about for
a considerable time, and found it to contain everything but
what the maps, prospectuses, &c. promised, viz., baths,
villas, news-rooms, promenades, &c. In place of these,
however, there were every variety of sandy roads, gravel
walks, and sandy hills, upon one of which we observed a
solitary rabbit, which gave a finished and picturesque ap-
pearance to the whole. Not having met with much to
please the eye, we at length resolved to look out for some-
thing to please the taste, and at once entered the inn, Joe
despairing of being able to meet with a sufficient field for the
display of his brilliant genius. We had not, however, been
long seated, when in stepped an elderly gentleman, with
three young ladies, apparently his daughters. This was suf-
ficient, Joe rang the bell, and a very sprightly little girl
made her appearance,
" Oh—ah, are you the Garcon ?" drawled Joe.
" No, I'm Mary."
" Oh, very well, Mary ; then pray let me have as soon as
it is immorally possible a bottle of pariah and two cigars ;
the portah must be ripe and the cigars mellow; and, d'ye
hear, Mary, bring in a luminary, a conceiver, and a receiver."
The girl looked bewildered • the com_pany btgan to stare •
•• •
commands, I explained. "My friend," said I, " simply
wants a candle, a piece of paper or spill, and a spittoon."
'• Well, I never!" ejaculated Mary. The elderly gentleman
ordered tea in another room.
"That will do, my dear," said Joe, as the girl brought in
the porter and cigars. " What's the ruin, eh ?—the damage?"
" Eighteen-pence." " What would it have been if I had
had beer instead of portah ?" " Fourtin.pence" was the
reply. " Ah," exclaimed Joe, with a sigh, " I wish 1 had
not tasted it ; I could have saved.fourpence."
There was a sudden lifting up of pocket handkerchiefs to
the ladies' mouths, whether for the purpose of wiping them,
or of hiding a smile, I leave the reader to guess. " You
can't change it I suppose," continued Joe, looking serious
and dismayed," (the girl grinning and the ladies tittering.)
" You won't change it ?" So Joe lighted his cigar, and after
smoking a few whiffs exclaimed " Oh, horrid ! what a villain-
ous compound of brown papah. My dear sir, will you do me
the honah—(addressing himself to the elderly gentleman)—
will you so far oblige me as to look at this ? Is it not a shock-
ing attempt to take advantage of my youth and inexperience ?"
But methinks it would be desirable, before proceeding fur-
ther, to make the reader and my friend personally acquainted.
Joe Rattler, then, I must inform him, was from " town,"
and though not quite a " d'Orsay," had still decidedly a
dash of the " West End" in his appearance. He was not
a puppy in reality, yet could, and very often did, act the part
to perfection. He was young, handsome, and (when he
cbose) of very captivating and pleasing manners. Joe was
a philosopher, too, if being very merry and very happy con-
stitutes philosophy. He was fond of fun in every shape,
and peculiarly fond of what he termed "producing effect,"
and in pursuit of this whimsical hobby he cared little whether
the laugh he raised, or the effect he produced, was against
him or in his favour. This much premised, let us return to
our subject.
The elderly unknown, after repeatedly being urged to ex-
amine the cigar, informed Joe, with the greatest politeness,
that he was no connoisseur. My friend apologized for his
earnestness, assuring the gentleman that his sole reason for
taking the liberty was his having suffered severely from the
tricks and extortions practised upon visitors on that side of
the water. "They are perfectly horrid!" exclaimed Joe,
" and I think you will coincide with me when I inform you of
an adventure which occurred to myself last Thursday."
The word " adventure" caused an immediate attention
from the ladies, and Joe, perceiving their anxiety, thus pro-
ceeded.
" The first time I set foot upon this inhospitable shore was
On Thursday last, when my friend and myself came here in
pursuit of a little innocent recreation. Having always had a
great inclination, when in the country, to have a ride, al-
though I never could screw my courage to the daring ex-
ploit—and oh, that 1 had not then !—I was induced at length
by the• persuasions of my friend, strengthening my own in-
clination, to venture upon a ride along the shore. With this
view we proceeded to a spot where ft gang of ponies and
donkies was kept, and having particularly enquired for the
quietest donkey in their collection—l didn't like to venture
upon a pony all at once—l was furnished with one whose
name was Neddy.' In addition to the evidence of his
quiet habits which his exterior and his physiognomy supplied,
I was assured by two young ladies who were passing and ob-
served my timidity (I verily think they were in the conspi-
racy) that I should be perfectly safe, as they had frequently
ridden him themselves, and no donkey could be quieter.
" To make assurance doubly sure, however, I procured the
animal two-pennyworth of bread, and fondled with him in
order that he might know me. A side saddle was put upon
him, as that, in my opinion, is the safest for a young rider,
and with the assistance of a good brawny woman, the pro-
prietor of Neddy, I mounted. For same distance the animal
went quiet enough and ambled very agreeably, and thus em-
boldened I informed the creature behind (Neddy's mistress)
that she might give him a gentle tap. She did so ; and
Neddy whisked his tail—foreboding phenomenon !—his upper
lip became suddenly curled up and his ears formed a hori-
zontal parallel towards me. I expressed my alarm, upon
which the creature informed me that she had only ' caught
him a bit on the raw,' and that she would strike fairer'
next time. I hoped she would. As a friend to the brute
creation, I assured her of my conviction that the most subtle
casuist could not advance a single sophism to extenuate such
beastly conduct, but on turning round to enforce my remarks
I thought I saw her winking at the young ladies who were
still near.'
" What could they mean ?" I mentally exclaimed. " Could
the inhuman monsters take delight in seeing me unhorsed—
un-assed I should say? For the sake of humanity—for the
sake of their sex, I hoped not. I had not gone far. how-
ever, when a fresh blow brought on a repetition of the symp-
toms I have just described, with, if possible more alarming
features ; and this time I verily think I heard' my friend join
in the titter. Oh ! friendship, what art thou ?—a name
that only lulls the wretch,'—but hold. I have not time to
apostrophise. The denouement is near, for scarcely had I
time to look round, when a sudden jerk from Neddy caused
the saddle to turn under him, and my head was precipitated
to the ground, and my feet were fast in the stirrups. In this
way I was mercilessly dragged several yards, my head and
beautiful hair trailing on the ground—my hair—ah ! little
thought poor ira-ma at that moment that those beauteous
curls she had so oft admired and put into paper, should have
come to so vile a purpose. I weep for very sympathy of her
sorrow.
" The ass still dragged on, still I strove to regain my seat,
and called with all my strength for assistance, but to no pur-
pose. I screamed, but all in vain ; a swimming sensation
came over my eyes ; every faculty was benumbed and para-
lysed. Am Ito perish in this ignoble: manner !' I ex-
claimed, and thoughts of home and happiness flitted like a
whirlwind across my memory. On, on he went. Loud
laughs resounded from the shore, to which my screams were
a faint echo. Cake-stalls, groups of boys and girls, and
donkeys waiting their respective loads—all, all disappeared
to my view. Oh 1 Ma, oh ! sister."
As he thus apostrophizedl these objects of his affection,
Joe started up from his seat, and assuming a position of
graceful agony, appeared overwhelmed by the bare recollec-
tion of the scene which he was describing.
" I clung," he continued in accents of the deepest pas-
sion, " I clung to Neddy's legs; I caught his ear, but he
only plunged the more. A frightful dizziness came over me,
and a horrid sound was in my ear, like the distant laugh of
rejoicing fiends.
"At length, a change came o'er my spirit.' All at once
methought I stood still, and that every object, ships, wrecks,
bathing-machines, trees, fields, all—all went rushing past
me. Anon they began to dance with wild fury, in one vast
chaos-dance. What horrid revelry is this ? I exclaimed,
and then failing nature could no more. I— I had
fainted !"
Here the ladies heaved a sigh, at the sound of which, I
thought Joe would have died with pure delight. He cast one
glance of admiration upon those beautiful features,—and
beautiful they were when thus lighted up with the sympathy
which his lamentable condition had called forth, but soon
re-assumed his stolid gravity of countenance, and proceeded
with his narration.
" For what period I had lain unconscious of the scene
before me 1 know not, but the first sensations which accom-
panied the return of reason were as delightful as they were
singular. Soft seraphic music stole upon my bewildered
senses—music such as charms the inmost soul, rather than
the outward ear. Where was'l ? Whence was that delight-
ful harmony? What bending form is that, so sylphlike and
ctherial, which like an attendant angel hovers by my side,
whose soft blue eyes beam upon me through tears which gem
them, and whose spicy breath seems to rarify me into ex-
istence ? Whose beautiful lips are those which seem to
whisper Live, live—if it be only for me ?' I felt and
kissed the lovely hand whose taper fingers were gently dis-
entangling my besmeared locks, and in a voice low and
tremulous I murmured to that guardian spirit—' Is this
Heaven ?' Oh if it were thus to die, how better far than to
live I'
" Alas ! it was phantasy all—the mere creation of a dis-
tempered brain—for a sudden bite of my thumb brought me
to life and sad reality. Instead of the angelic creature whom
my wandering fancy had conjured up from the vasty deep,'
there knelt by my side, the brawny figure of the proprietor
of Neddy, busily engaged in biting my thumb. Another
brute was throwing salt water in my face, whilst a third was
slapping with her horny hand the soles of my feet. A
numerous crowd were gathered round me, and I verily think,
instead of sympathizing with my misfortunes, were delighted
with my discomfiture. Fiends !—is the milk of human
nature dried up in their breasts ? Are their hearts so seared
by callousness that a scene of suffering like my own would
not melt them ?
" But my friend—where was my friend? He too had left
me in this horrid situation—in a place where I could neither
renew nor adjust my toilette. He too had gone—gone for a
surgeon. Was there no more fitting a messenger? Alas!
this was the unkindest cut of all"—and as he proceeded Joe
turned towards me a look of dignified and solemn rebuke,
which I shall not readily forget. " All, all but this I could
have readily borne, and borne it bravely too. But Ma and
sister shall know the whole. Let sister pause before she
entrusts her heart into the keeping of one who could thus
leave her dear and only brother lifeless on a distant shore,
and in the hands of savages ; let Ma consider well before she
admits one into her house who would coldly leave her dar-
ling and only son thus to perish amongst brutal strangers,
unpitied and unwept !
" And now, sir,." continued Joe, addressing the elderly
gentleman, " you will not think me rude in asking your
advice and opinion. When I reflect upon what I have un-
dergone, the very thought drives me to distraction. Excuse
me, sir ; adieu !—my grief overpowers me. Oh, mama !
oh, sister !" Joe raised his hands and lifted his face towards
the ceiling as he moved hurriedly to the door, and, after
bowing to the gentleman and kissing his band to the ladies,
he rushed from the room, overwhelmed apparently in a pa-
roxysm of grief. I immediately followed him, leaving the
porter and cigars untouched.
" Now," said Joe, as soon as we got fairly out, " are they
there? look at the window." I looked back, and there they
were sure enough—the three ladies with their heads out of
the window, looking pitiful eoug
daughter,and thh!oowledvgeer n, d
gentleman
laughing heartily. The youngest
see was affected somewhat differently to the rest ; fOr I ob-
served her look_at her father in the midst of his uproarious