The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1853-04-26 00:00:00

THE ACCOMMODATING FACULTY.

After all, 1 suppose it is downright balderdash to say
that a man is not adapted for this, or suited to that. I
remember people telling me that public life wouldn't do
for me; that I wasn't the kind of man for Parliament,
and so on ; but I see the folly of it all now. The truth
is, Tom, that there is a faculty of accommodation in
human nature ; and wherever you are placed, under what-
ever circumstances situated, you'll discover that your
spirit, like your stomach, learns to digest everything ;
though I won't deny that it may now and then be at the
cost of a heartburn in the one case as well as the other.

THE TARIFF OF PURGATORY.
Father Maher remarks upon poor Jones M'Cartby is,
I must say, very unfeeling ; and I don't coincide with the
conclusions he draws from them ; for if he was half as
had as he says, Masses will do him little good : and for a
few thousand years, more or less, I can't afford to pay
fifty pounds ! Ask him, besides, is it reasonable, that
when the price of everything is falling, with Free-trade,
that the old Tariff of Purgatory is to be kept up still ?
That would be downright absurd ! Priests, my dear
Molly, must lower their rates, as the Protectionists do
their rents : that's " one of the demands of the age, and
can't be resisted." As Lord George says, " The Church,
like the railroad people, fell into the mistake of lavish
expenditure! Purgatory was like a station, and ought
never to be made too costly. No one wants to live there :
the most one requires is, to be decently comfortable, till
you can go on.' What's the use of fine furniture,
elegant chairs and carpets ? they're clean thrown away in
such a place." If Father Maher thinks that the remarks
are not uttered in a respectful spirit, tell him he's wrong •
for Lord G. and all his family are Whigs, and intend tO
do more mischief to the Established Church than any
party that ever was in power ; and I roust say, I never
beard Father Mahe! abuse Protestants, Bigotry, and
Intolerance, more bitterly than Lord G."

HIGH SOCIETY AND GENTEEL MANNERS.
It is the same with one's thoughts as with their diet ;
half the things we like best are only what is called acquired
tastes. Trouble enough we often have to learn them ;
but when once we do so, who'd be fool enough to go back
upon his old ignorance again ? High society and genteel
manners, Molly, however you may like them when you
are used to them, are just like London porter—mighty
bitter when you first taste it. I know there are plenty of
People will tell you the contrary, and that they took to it
naturally like mother's milk • but, don't believe them,
it's quite impossible it could be true.

TOE GLASGOW STONEMASONS are beginning to wear
mustachios, on the score of health, as recommended by
Dr. Allison, the Edinburgh professor, who regards them
as a preventive to breathing the fine dust which so much
injures the mason, and shortens his life.
CHILBLAINS.--From constitutional predisposition,
some families suffer both pain and inconvenience from
severe winter attacks of chilblains, the most violent of
which may be removed in a day, probably by one applica-
tion, by rubbing common chalk over the parts affected,
whereever situated. If the hands, simply rub the chalk
well over the parts at night, and put on gloves ; the ap-
plication will instantly allay the itching, which is so an-
noying a feature of the complaint, and in the morning, in_
flammation, cause, and effect, will all disappear. The sim-
plicity of this remedy, it is to be hoped, will not cause it
to be treated as a quackery, and so neglected ; on the
contrary, it is infallible, and worth recording in the recipe
book of every family.

CURE FOR BROKEN CHILBLAINS.—One pint of sweet
oil, three ounces of Venice turpentine, half a pound hog-
lard, three ounces of beeswax. Put into a pipkin, and on
a slow fire. Stir with a wooden spoon till the wax is dis-
solved, and the ingredients simmer. It will be fit for use
mmediately, but the longer it is kept the better it is.—
spread very thin on a linen rag.