The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1841-12-21 00:00:00

AN OUTBREAK OF NATURE' THE RED INDIANS.—I
have seen the red man i❑ all his relative situations, of war-
rior, hunter, tiller of the soil, and preacher of the word ; I
have seen him wholly wild, but never wholly civilized ; for
the best specimen of an Indian missionary I am acquainted
with, in Upper Canada, forgot all his instruction, all his ac-
quired feelings and habits, when he witnessed with me the
war dance of heathen and perfectly savage warriors. He had
been carefully educated from a boy, spoke English perfectly,
was modest, intelligent, and well bred ; guided his young
family excellently, and did not intrude his professional habits
and opinions when in society, nor seemed in the least ele-
vated by his superior acquisitions. Yet he grinned with sa-
vage delight at this exhibition of untutored nature ; and when
I asked him if it was not a blessing that the Indian had lis-
tened to the mild spirit of the whita man's religion, and hav-
ing proved himself capable of appreciating it, that he might
be the means of imparting its doctrines to the savage natures
before us, who displayed human frailty in its lowest state of
degradation, he calmly replied, " What you say, my friend,
is true; but I never before saw my red ,brother in the con-
dition of an absolute and acknowledged warrior. Ah ! he is
very brave ! My father was as brave and as wild as he is,
and often have I bid me from his frown in the depths of the
woods. Listen ; the warrior is telling of his battles ! I will
interpret the brave man's speech to you." And, excited be-
yond the power of controul by his native feelings, he went
on translating the mighty deeds of a second Walk-in-the-
Water, or Young Wolf, or Snapping Turtle, or some other
chief of equally euphonious and terrible cognomen. He
stayed out a second edition of the war story, and even of the
pipe dance, which latter exhibition a European missionary
would consider himself justly degraded by being present at,
and I left him involved in rapid discourse with the heathen
warriors.—The Canadas in 1811.

"ALL Humnuc."—Just as a strolling actor at Newcastle
had advertised his benefit, a remarkable stranger, no less than
the Prince Annammaboo, arrived, and placarded the town
that he granted audiences at a shilling a head. The stroller,
without delay, waited on the proprietor of the Prince, and
for a good round sum prevailed on him to command his Serene
Highness to exhibit his august person on his benefit night.
The bills of the day announced that, between the acts of the
comedy, Prince Annammaboo would give a lively representa-
tion of the scalping operation, sound the Indian war whoop in
all its melodious tones, practise the tomahawk exercise, and
dine ala cannibal. At the conclusion of the third act, his
highness marched forward, flourishing his tomahawk, and
shouting " lla ! ah !—Ho ! ho !" Next entered a man with
his face blacked, and a piece of bladder fastened to his head
with gum ; the Prince, with an enormous carving-knife, be-
gan the scalping part of the entertainment, which he performed
in a truly imperial style, holding up the piece of bladder as a
triumph. Next came the war-whoop, an unearthly combina-
tion. of discordant sounds ; and, lastly, the banquet, consist-
ing of a raw beef-steak, Which he rolled up into rouleaus,
and devoured with right royal avidity. Having finished his
delicate repast, he wielded his tomahawk in an exulting man-
ner, bellowed, " Ha ! ha !—Ho ! ho !" and made his exit.
The beneficiaire, strolling through the market place the fol-
lowing day, spied the most puissant Prince Annammaboo
selling penknives, scissors, and quills, in the character of a
Jew pedlar. " What !" said the astonished player, "My
prince, is it you ? Are you not a pretty scoundrel to impose
upon us in this manner ?'' Moses turned round, and, with
an arch look, replied " Princh bs d—d ! I wash no princh.
I vash acting, like you. Your troop wash lords and ladies
last night, and to-night dey will be Kings, Prinches, and
Emperors ! I wash humpugs, you wash humpugs, all wash
humpugs !"

HOOD ON AUTOGRAPDS.-1 am much flattered by your
request, and quite willing to accede to it ; but, unluckily,
you have omitted to inform me of the sort of thing you want.
Autographs are of many kinds. Some persons chalk them on
walls ; others inscribe what may be called auto-lithographs,
in sundry colours, on the flag stones. Gentlemen in love
delight in carving their autographs on the bark of trees ; as
other idle fellows are apt to hack and hew them on tavern
benches and rustic seats. Amongst various modes, I have
seen a shop boy dribble his autograph from a tin of water on
a dry pavement. The autographs of the charity boys are
written on large sheets of paper, illuminated with engravings,
and are technically called " pieces." The celebrated Miss
Biffin used to distribute autographs amongst her visitors,
which she wrote with a pen grasped between her teeth.
Another, a German phenomenon, held the implement with
his toes. The Man in the Iron Mask scratched an autograph
with his fork on a silver plate, and threw it out of the win-
dow. Baron Trenck smudged one with a charred stick ; and
Silvio Pellico, with his fore-finger dipped in a mixture of
soot and water. Lord Chesterfield wrote autographs. on win-
dows with a diamond pencil. So did Sir Walter Raleigh and
Queen Elizabeth. Drac?, when Themis requested a few
sentences for her album, dipped his stylus in human blood.
Faust used the same fluid in the autograph he bartered with
Miphistopheles. The Hebrews write their Shpargotua back-
wards ; and some of the Orientals used to clothe them in
hieroglyphics. An ancient Egyptian, if asked for his auto-
graph, would, probably, have sent to the collector a picture
of what Mrs. Malaprop calls " An Allegory on the Banks of
the Nile." Aster, the archer, volunteered an autograph,
and sent it bang into Phillip's right eye. Some individuals
are so chary of their handwriting as to bestow, when re-
quested, only a mark or cross ; others more liberally adorn
a specimen of their penmanship with such extraneous flou-
rishes as a corkscrew, a serpent, or a circurnbendibus, not to
mention such caligraphic fancies as eagles, ships, and swans.
T. lieu again, there are what may be called Mosaic Autographs,
e. inlaid with cockle-shells, blue and white pebbles, and
the like, in a little gravel walk. Our grandmothers worked
their autographs in canvass samplers ; and 1 have seen one
wrought out with pins' heads on a huge white pincushion, as
thus :

WELCOME SWEET BABY,

MARY JONES.
When the sweetheart of Mr. John Junk requested his auto-
graph, and explained what it was, namely, "a couple of lines
or so, with his name to it," he replied, that he would leave
it to her in his will, seeing as how it was " done with gun-
powder on his left arm." There have even been autographs
written by proxy. For example, Dr. Dodd penned one for
Lord Chesterfield; but, to oblige a stranger in this way, is
very dangerous, considering how easily a few lines can be
twisted into a rope. According to Lord Byron, the Greek
girls compound autographs as apothecaries make up prescrip-
tions ; with such materials as flowers, herbs, pebbles, ashes,
and bits of coal. Lord Byron himself, if asked for a speci-
men of his hand, would, probably, have sent a plaster cast of
it. King George the Fourth and the Duke of York, when
their autographs were requested for a keepsake, royally fa-
voured the applicant with some of their old Latin English
exercises. With regard to my own particular practice, I
have often traced autographs with my walking-stick on the
sand. I also seem to remember writing one with my fore
finger on a dusty table, and am pretty sure I could do it with
the smoke of a caddie on the ceiling. I have seen something
like a very badly scribbled autograph made by children with
a thread of treacle on a slice of suet dumpling. Then it may
be done with vegetables. My little girl drew her autograph,
the other day, in mustard and cress. Domestic servants, I
have observed, are fond of scrawling autographs on a tea-
board with the slopped milk. Also, of scratching them on a
soft deal dresser, the lead of the sink, and, above all, the
quicksilver side of a looking-glass ; a surface, by the by,
quite irresistible to any one who can write, and does not
bite his nails. A friend of mine possesses an autograph—
" REMEMBER JIM HOSKINS"—done with a red hot poker
on the back kitchen door. This, however, is awkward to
bind up. Another—but a young lady—possesses a book of
autographs, fitted just like a tailor's pattern-book—with
sampes of stuff and fustian. The foregoing, sir, are but a
few of the varieties ; and the questions that have occurred to
me in consequence of your only naming the genius, and not
the species, have been innumerable. Would the gentleman
like it short or long ? for Doppeldickens, the learned Dutch-
man, wrote an autograph for a friend, which the latter pub-
lished in a quarto volume. Would he prefer it in red ink, or
black—or suppose he had it in sympathetic, so that he could
draw me out when he pleased ? Would he choose it on white
paper, or tinted, or embossed, or on common brown paper,
like .Maroncelli's ? Would he like it without my name to it
—as somebody favoured me lately with his autograph in an
anonymous letter ? Would he rather it were like Guy
Faux's to Lord Monteagle (not Spring Rice) in a feigned
hand? Would he relish it in the aristocratical style, i. e.
partially or totally illegible ? Would he like it—in case he
shouldn't like it—on a slate? With such a maze to wander
in, if I should not take the exact course you wish, you must
blame the short and insufficient clue you have afforded me.
In the mean time, as you have not forwarded to me a tree or
a table—a pavingstone or a brick wall—a looking-glass or a
window—a teaboard or a silver plate—a bill-stamp or a back
kitchen door—l presume, to conclude, that you want only a
common pen-ink and paper autograph ; and in the absence
of any particular directions for its transmission—for in-
stance, by a carrier pigeon—or in a fire balloon—or set
adrift in a bottle—or per waggon—or favoured by Mr. Wag-
horn—or by telegraph, I think the best way will be to send
it to you in print.—l am, sir, your most obedient servant,
THOMAS HOOD.--COMiCAnnual.