The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1836-06-03 00:00:00

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JUNE 3, 1816.

nice set you are!

parliament," had been paid on account of Cie endow-
ment suit note• pending in the Rolls' Court!!!

Bravo! ye enemies of jobbing and Corruption, what a

Our readers will recollect that so recently as Tuesday
List we quoted the sworn information of TIMOTHY JEVONS
and THOMAS BOLTON, (Arcades arnbo, that is, unitarians
both!) in which it is there set forth upon oath that the
• present corporation are not parties, by collusio❑ or other-
wise, to the present suit before the MASTER of the ROLLS.
This, of course, must be true, inasmuch as Master Tom-
THY and Master THOMAS have sworn that it is; but ad-
mitting it to be true, how come the corporation to be
voting £250 for a purpose in which they are not parties
concerned ? Will the MAYOR or Mr. Councillor THOMAS
BOLTON he kind enough to explain why and for what
purpose this money has been granted ? Has the ATTOR-
NEY-GENERAL touched any of this coin ? or is it merely
a loan to the disinterested TIMOTHY and THOMAS ?
These are points which demand the earliest attention
of all the parties interested. It will be seen by our re-
port of the proceedings, in this day's paper, that his
lordship the MASTER of ROLLS, after being positively
assured, takes for granted that the corporation are not
collusively or in any way mixed up with the suit carried
on in the names of JEVONS and BOLTON. But what will
his lordshih think when the singular" mistake" about this
£250 is pointed out to him ? In the admirable and elo-
quent speech of Mr. PEMBERTON, in defence of the late
MAYOR and corporation, it will be seen that strong and
Pungent allusions are made. to the collusive nature of the
transaction, and also to the folly and extravagance of
giving an enormous fee to a common lawyer, like Sir
JOHN CAMPBELL, to exhibit himself in a court where lie
never had any practice, and with the equity of which he
is totally unacquainted. Bravo liberals! Murder will
out in spite of your teeth, and before many days we shall
have an opportunity of showing you to your constituents
in your proper colours.

Some kind friend, we know not whom, has sent us a
very ingenious and comical book, which it would be illi-
beral on our part not to notice in a favourable review.
The inhabitants of Liverpool, to whom we are so largely
indebted, have a right to expect at our hands an early
acknowledgment of the truly paternal kindness which is
now exercised towards them by the amateur, but at the
same time zealous committee, of public safety, the mem-
bers of which are the authors and directors of the new police.
'When the prevention or detection of crime can be effected

by means the most simple, and at the same time so inob-

trusive and polite—where property is guarded without
any apparent rigour, and where the person is dealt with
3o tenderly, quite as much so as the child in the nursery
—we cannot be sufficiently grateful to the wise and phi—
lanthropic men who have constructed the machinery of
so admirable a system.

Some of the felicitous rules of this inimitable system it
will be our duty to submit to public consideration by and
ty. We have an intuitive respect for men in authority ;
but at the same time it would only be a proof of our re-

gard for them if we should take the liberty of pointing
ut in what manner their good intentions savour more of
inexperience—we do not say ignorance /—than of a mas-
terly acquaintance with the subject. In the harmony,
therefore, of perfect liberality, we prcceed to our task.
In the first place, we think the book should not have
been printed at all—at least we thought so until we saw
the names of " WALES and BAINEs" as printers affixed to
its title page. The book emanates from the reformed
corporation, and as the first of these very respectable
printers was not deemed worthy a seat at the council
board, after having presided over the watch and scaveng-
ing departments for several years, it is barely possible
that the printing of the work has been conceded to him
as a sort of salve to his wounded feelings. Do we call
it a job ? Bless the man ! we have too much respect for
Isis employers !

The book is entitled, "Instructions for the Liverpool
Constabulary Force, by order of the Watch Committee:'
It is divided into more sections than we have time to
count, and some of its ...life') we
Presume are intended to be explanations of police law, tire
.aenvered -nuer.tue oume and seal-Of "JOHN HotmEs,"
who, questionless, is a person in authority. This "JOHN
HotmEs," however, is, we suspect, only the foster parent
,of the work. Its real author, we are told, is an amateur
disciplinarian, who imbibed his earliest notions of moral
and delinquent policy as usher in a boy's school, and who
humanely thinks that he can sweep the cobwebs of adult
'frailty from the world at large as he did the errors of bird-
nesting and imperfect syntax from a secluded dormitory
of sixteen feet by twelve in dimension. What a mis.
take! The birch is not the marshal's baton ! He who
has visited the interior of disorderly houses—has engaged
in interesting colloquys with frail innocents—has held a
dull mirror up to nature under a cloud—and listened
gapingly to stories which the narrator must have laughed
at, which common sense repudiates, and experience re-
jects—is, we fear, not exactly the philosopher to be ad-
;mired or extolled, particularly when he leaps into the sta-
tistics of crime.

But let this pass. The thieves who infest Liverpool
and its environs must be greatly indebted to the author
of this curious publication. They have to thank him for
pointing out to them how they can overreach the police,
how they can impose upon the " genteel Manners" of his
favoured constabulary, and how they can use their sig-
nals to mislead them, and by misleading them the more
-easily accomplish their professional purposes.
In the excerpts which we propose giving Iron, this ex-
traordinary work, illustrative of the immense sagacity of
`ieformers in office, we shall be guided by the utmost ten,
Alertiess towards them. Still we must to a certain extent
'do our duty. At page 17 we find the following instruc-
tions to the constables :

"A publican is subject to a severe fine if he allow a consta-
ble to remain in his house."

We at once say, with all due submission, that this dic-
tum of the usher is not the law of England. If it were
so, the law would be alike cruel and unjust. It is, how-
ever, one of those liberal attacks upon publicans which
characterise the whole conduct of the unfledged Dogher-
iies who have been called into existence by Lord JOHN
RUSSELL, and hatched by the heat of the reform bill.
Had the expounder of the law told the publicans how they
could ascertain who was, and who was not, a policeman,
the matter might have been clear enough ; or had he
said to them, "you must not admit a policeman intoyour
houses," they would have understood him ; but to tell
them that the said policeman whom they may or may not
know is not_to remain under certain penalties, he having
once been admitted, is to visit them with. a punishment
which ought to fall not upon the publican but the police-
man.

However, this is Liverpool justice, and we beg the
Publicans to bear it in mind at the next election. If this
be not tyranny—if this be not making them the slaves of
an arbitrary and ill-constructed police—if this be not de-
grading to every licensed victualler we do not under-
stand the object of the police instructions, or the meaning
of the English language.
At page 20, under the head of instructions to "Bride-
Well keepers," we find the following order :

"No cooking or domestic process must be carried on in the
booking room, and persons calling upon the family of the Bride-
Well keeper must not be allowed to loiter in this room." !

What this has to do with the duties of a police-officer
We should like to hear Mr. WALMSLEY explain. The
"domestic process" is, we suppose, a new term, but we
are unable to translate it. Does he mean to say that the
sound of chop steaks and rashers of bacon, in the process
of frying, is to he unheard in the, domicile of the unfor-
tunate keeper, and that his family are only to be allowed
to look at him through the bars---to taste not, to touch
hot, o smell only and exit ? If so mle pity the wretch
With even £2OO a-year.

But what does he mean by this ?--.
"Strictly speaking it is the duty of the Bridevrell keepers to
book all persons charged by a policeman ;. but they are to hear
the case, and if the charge appear frivolous or improper, they
are to recommend the constable to forego it." !

Who is master here ? The policeman certainly, and
not the Bridewell keeper, whose duty it is to Car' MC?
ease ! The hearer of the ease is hound to hear, hot he
41asizo'power-to decide. He is a judge without abihO-

He is empnwered to decide whether the charge be
" frivolous and improper," but if he decide in the affirma-
tive he has no power to release ..he accused, if the said
policeman, being the accusing party, he of a different
opinion ! What Monstrous nonsense is this ? A person
is made an arbiter, but his authority is paralysed by the
superior power of the accuser. This, we say, is gross
tyranny. It is the inquisition revived. It is an appeal
from PHILIP drunk to PHILIP sober, but the drunken
PHILIP, the interested party in his own charge, is to have
a veto upon the sober judgment of the other PHILIP !
None but a liberal reformer of the first water—an usher
of the longest whip—a downright despot of a petty school,
could ever have dreamed of such rigour and injustice!
But let us be charitable. We do not believe that, in as
far as these rules are concerned, the patron of them in
Liverpool is obnoxious to the charge of originality. He
must have borrowed them without understanding the re-
volting tendency of their operation in a free country.
We believe that the operative police laugh at and
openly disregard these instructions, and.if they are coun-
tenanced in so doing, the higher claims upon our regard
has Mr. WHITTEy, the superintendent, as an intelligent
man, in declining to recognise or enforce them.

At page 29, we have an additional'and equally cu-
rious instructions to constables. It is there laid down
that the most certain avenue-to promotion is by being
" attentive, intelligent, and sober." The book proceeds
to say, in reference to the constable, that, "Diligence is
always in his power, the necessary intelligence is easily
acquired, and to be sober requires only a firm resolution
never to enter a public-house or accept liquor from any
person whomsoever."

This, to us, is a new theory of abstinence and sobriety,
and although it may be congenial to the notions of an
ethical usher it is destitute of the elementary symbols of
truth. It is theory opposed to experience. It is the so-
briety merely of a poet's dream. Mr. \VHITTEY could
inform the leading SOLON of the Police Committee, that
it is a common thing with his countrymen to swear ne-
ver for a certain period to taste or touch spiritous liquor
under a certain roof or in any house, but the rogue, who
like a greater rogue, thus records his vow in heaven,
has no hesitation in getting drunk in the open air, or be-
yond the threshold of the proscribed cabin. So may it
be with the policeman. He may get intoxicated, and
yet neither enter a public-house nor accept spirits from
" any person whomsoever." We notice the sentiment-

ality of the rule only to expose its absurdity and the sit.

liness of its author. Men who make laws should be con-
versant with common sense, and know a little of human
nature. It is only disgusting to see aspirants to renown
in this respect assume airs of authority which so ill be-
come very ordinary persons of very limited capacity and
understanding.
The following, at page 33, is sufficient to make a watch-
dog laugh- The constable is told that, "where a man
who has committed a felony, or whom the constable has
reasonable cause to suspect of being about to commit or
having committed a felony, and whom he has accord•
ingly arrested escapes from his custody, the constable
must immediately retake him e! A cat would not require
this advice far less a biped in a blue coat. If the fellow
should run away, the constable would, of course, run
after him, but how he is to retake him immediately is ra-
ther a puzzling question, particularly, if the thief has
floored the constable and left him sprawling, and per-
haps, senseless in the kennel. The usher is again in a
brown study—whatever he may know of thieves, he is
unhappily ignorant of the mode of catching them.
'Where there is so much to censure we are glad to
light upon something to praise, and. our next extracts
from the " instructions" prove that they have been dic-
tated by a humane man, perhaps by some high legal au
thority nicely conversant with the frailty to which flesh
is heir. As the Mayor, out of the abundance of his
liberality, gives so many splendid dinners and convivial
parties, it is necessary that his innumerable guests
should be informed of the kind protection which the re•
formed enonril t,„. . • vci
it is instructed at page 44, as follows :

" When a drunken man is making his way home quietly, he
(the constable) is to let him pass on without speaking to him;
if he be disorderly he is to speak mildly and friendly to him,
and persuade him to go home; if he need assistance he is to
help him. If, however, he is riotous and will not go home he is
to call for sufficient assistance, and convey him with all possible
care to Bridewell. When he finds a person lying stupidly
drunk be is to arouse him without any violence or uproar; if he
can tell where he lives he is to be conveyed home; if not, he is
to be carried to Bridewell." •

A man stupidly drunk, telling where lie lives, is like
a man being expected to quote Latin who knows no
other language than Welsh ; but the intention of the

committee, is, nevertheless, generous in the extreme.
The following, at page 46, appears to us to be bor-
rowed from SHAKSPEARE'S Much ado about Nothing.
The instruction is in these words:—

"When a constable sees an assault committed in his presence
he is to take the offender into custody; when there is no visible
evidence of the assault, such as blood or wounds, and when the
parties are known to each other, and not to the constable, (how
is he to know this ?) be had better not interfere unless he sus-
pects the accused person to be a bad character. If the accused
and the accuser be both disorderly characters, HE HAD BETTER
HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM !"

This, we say, is a plagiarism from the police records
of the venerable DOGBERRY. In the play to which we
have alluded, we find the original version. We quote it
for the benefit of the moralists of the Town Hall.
" Dogberry.—You are thought here to be the most senseless
and fit man for the constable of the watch ; therefore bear, you
the lantern. This is your charge. You shall comprehend all
vagrom men : you are to bid any man stand in the Prince's
name.
" 2d Watch—How if he will not stand ?

" Dogberry—Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go,
and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank
God you are rid of a knave.—Well you are to call at all the
alehouses and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
"2d Watch.—How if they will not?

Dogberry.—Why, then, let them alone till they are sober.
If they make you not then the better answer you may say, they
are not the men you took them for.
"2d Watch.—Well sir. •

Dogberry.—lf you meet a thief you may suspect him by vir-
tue of your office to be no true man ; and for such kind of, men
the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is your
honesty.

"2d Watch.—lf we know him to be a thief shall we not lay
hands upon him ?

" Doqberry.—Truly by your office you may; but I think
they that touch• pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way
for you, if you do take a thief is to let him show himself what
he is and steal out of your company."
•So much for ancient and modern DOGBERRIES ! The
breed we suspect, from the sample we have before us,
has not much improved. The Mechanics' Institute is
not the place to rear' good police officers, or police guard-
ians.

The length of this article compels us to hasten to a
conclusion, passing over for that purpoie innumerable
rich bits of fun, and grave orders, alike silly and absurd
—whole pages of ludicrous and contradictory fustian—
rules made only to be laughed at and violated—others
that are impracticable—and many that are senseless and
useles—we cannot resist publishing the following,
which, if well acted, would make an inimitable scene in
a broad farce. At page 52, we have the following in-
structions to constables in giving evidence before the
lord of low justice, called the stipendiary magistrate, who,
under the municipal reform bill, has £l3OO a-year for
doing that, not in the most satisfactory manner, which
the old magistrates did well for nothing.
" Whenever a prisoner is booked in Bridewell, the constable
to whom he is booked (unless it be for safety) must appear
against him next morning, at the appointed hour, before the
magistrate. When called on, he must state his charge clearly
and candidly, in as few words as possible, introducing nothing
that does not bear on the charge. He must not introduce any
says he' and says I,' but simply state the bare facts of the case—
concealing nothing that snakes for or against the prisoner.
When the magistrate asks a question, the answer is to be prompt
and plain, without any disguise or circumlocution. He is, while
his case is before the court, to stand up in his place with his
hands quietly by his sides."
einilow,cnnr,lahlewho uses " says he and " says I,"
e-?,;iiiii;rifi"„circumlocution", we leave the usher and
•tii;:r_,:ndent, to explain. We sincerely hope, how-
evicy,..%!t;,wlierY
Abe obeys the orders, his whole" atten-
ti gin" v ill ba di;•ected to stand at ease." How can