The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1836-12-13 00:00:00

MISCELLANEOUS.

Two Auvergnets sleeping in the same robin. one said to thi
other—" Peter :"—•` Well !" —" Are you asleep ?"—" Why ?"
—" Because if you are not asleep, I wish )ou would lend me
half-a-crown."—" Then I am asleep."
VERY EXTRAORDINARY, IF TRUE.—An Exeter paper says;
"During the storm of Tuesday, a mall at Mount Radford wai
driving home a cow, holding the tail of the animal in his hand,
a tree fell across it, completely severing the tail from the body,
and leaving it in the man's hand. Both man and cow were un=
hurt."

A strafige rumour is mentioned as prevalent at Paris, that
the Emperor Nicholas is insane. Another rumour concerning
the Czar is, that he has met with another accident, and has
broken his collar hone. All these matters in!icate, plainly
that it is expected he will not live long.
RaTonT.—A jolly, corpulent, and exceedingly self-satisfied
functionary demanded the name of a person who waited upoti
him on business. "My name is Fatt, was the reply. " Fatt !
fat indeed; you're lean enough in all conscience!" "True.
enough, Sir, true enough," was the stinging and just rejoinder;
there's just this difference between us, that while I am better
taught than fed, you, on the other hand, are very considerably
better fed than taught!"
NOTIONS OF I.F.GISLATION.-At the Ahbeyfettle Petty ses.;
sions, last week, a son of Bacchus was fined ss. under the new
act, for being drunk. Ott leaving the court, after paying the
fine, he said in a loud voice, " 'lwould be more daysint for the
the parliament to make a law for stopping tithes than to be
inv the little change out of a poor crathur's pocket. O'Con-
nell must have been in Kerry when it passed."—Limerick
Star.
- - •

"There is a soothing attraction in the word Balsamic, which
renders it peculiarly pleasing to those who are suffering under
the pressure of Disease, and to a peculiar class of Patients,
those who are afflicted with disorders of the Urethra, &c., Mr.
WRAY'S BALSAMIC PILLS, from the numerous cures
effected by them, have a just and pre-eminent claim to the most
distinguished public patronage."—Morning Advertiser.

BIRMINGHAM DRAPERY CoMPANy.—At a meeting of the
shareholders of this defunct speculation, a few days ago. the
holders of scrip were informed that an advance of £2 per share
would be required to liquidate the demands to which the direc-
tors were liable. The original payment per share of £3 lOs.:
had been sunk in working the concern, with the exception of try
first dividend of 10 per cent.— Birmingharit Advertiser.
A rusty old bachelor on the wrong side of fifty, who had just
got married, wrote his friend as follows:—' If voii love the Crea-
tor, you ought to marry, to raise more worshippers; if you love
the ladies, you ought to mart y, to make 'llion lianpy ; if you love
mankind, you ought to marry, to perpetuate the glorious race;
if you love your country, to raise up soldiers to defend it; in
fine, you wish well of earth or heaven, yoa ought to Marry, to
give good citizens to one, and glorious angelS to the other.'—
If he doesn't sing a different tune at the end of a twelve month,
we are not a judge in such matters—that's all.—New Orlean'i
Bee.
JOHNSON'S OPINION OF ECONOMY.—AII to whom want is ter;
rible, upon whatever principle, ought to think themselves obliged
to learn the sage maxims of our parsimonious ancestors, and
attain the salutary arts of contracting expenses; for without:'
economy none can be rich, and with it few can be poor. The..
mere power of saving what is already in our hands, must he of
easy acquisition to every mind ; and as the extunple of Lord
Bacon may show that the highest intellect cannot safely neglect
it, a thousand instances every day prove that the humblest may
practise it with success.—Rambler.
VALVE OF EARLY BIsINO.—The difference of rising every_
morning at six and at eight, in the course of forty years, sup-
posing a man to go to bed at the same time he otherwise would;
amounts to 29,00() hours, or three yews, 121 la> s, and 16 hours,.
which will afford eight hours a day for exactly ten years; so
that it is the same as if ten years of life were added ;—a weighty,
consideration, in which we could command eight hours every
clay for the cultivation of our minds ur the dispatch of business;
CHURCH-RATES —A small knot of papists and plitical dis-
senters, in sweet and consistent alliance, are aiming to get up'
a little bit of agitation in this town on the subject of -church-
rates. Before these pious and suffering creatut es exhaust their.
enemies in this long-cherished cause, it may be well 1-o remind'
them,' that Lord Melbourne and his whig-radtcal colleagues
have not the most distant intention of abolishing church-rates.
They will modify the payment to snit the consciences of certain
scrupulous persons, but they have no notion—indeed. they dare
not make the.attempt —of up-rooting that which is told by as-
,ood and lawful a tenure as any freehold estate in the kingdom.
Neweawle Journal.

NouTuwlCH.—The waters, which lately inundated this town,
made a breach in the embankment. close to the salt,works ad-
joining the lock, at \\Tilton Brook, and washed down a lime
kiln. cairi. d away a large quantity of coal, and did besides,
considerable damage to the works. At Leftwich works, on the
banks of the Dane, the water Dot into one of the store7houses,.
burst the fines, and destroyed upwards of one hundred tons of.
salt ; some of the pans were also washed down. At many of the
works the salt had, in anticipation of a flood, been shipped on
beard the flats, or the loss would have been much more serious..
At Wins fo r d and Wharton, the destructionryeiti,.icih:iii..,,si,r,ze,:eiil.,.l,,,,iiii,tit;),,,,.tih,a',,il.r(li)eil:ok silt was
,ine.,,,i,om.g.tao)
ht
tti\Nw,'lseoehrueiYint.,..
great. ; upwards of 1,000 tons being completely lust t , the dif-
ferent proprietors. .
A STlteln DOG —The following note by Sir Robert Heron',
Bart.. was lately read at one of the meetings of the 400lugical.
Society; it gives an account of an extraordinary instance of
want of sagacity in a dog :—" A large old white female terrier
followed me," says the writer, " this autione from Grantham.
She remained perfectly satisfied for three weeks, when. ou my
Again going to attend the petty sessions, she again followed me.'
I then found that she belonged to one of my colleagues, the Rev.
Mr. Ottley, and that she had long been a great favourite in the
family, wfio were greatly distressed at her loss. It happened
that Mr. Ottley and I each rode a chesuut pony with a lung tail.
This had completely deceived the dog, whose Unsentimental
friendship did not prompt her to ask any further questions."
MATRIMONIAL. ADVERTTSEMENT.—The following amusing.
hand-bill has been issued by a Dorsra,.t7sl'.l,,aihir.e.;:eo;tocelir:,ai idinktdivaietritveiser'
to be hoped that it will prove successtul: —"A bill for a wife.
Matrimony. Charles Warren, Marnlmll, Dorset. MY family
ifisva,syfeo,l,lrosw:).sld:—,
aTnhdeaegldi,eist,lig7; i‘s.,..,lit3s yo,i.da: s .N.lid.
htloieusye•oungerobwoy
i:t ne); Li
and -I. have no rent to pay. .
blues and-half Whites, this year. hlll7
by themselves
them at night.
iiinhiodentlonitith:lsibittoa\gtif:i
time,lc ~isrtoutSiiileibr:,d bl).thtet
i,liiiii;
(i.rftaelt,iietlrr.aJT:tilhl):,,es,
and tne boy two sin ti 1 Hi ~ a week, and
,
, taiLric,)"o(iiptt'ael'nd r a second family,
lings a week for my work.
ht:eayfislethoriiithe myriads of rats
Traendeu-rtyaeLadrse.TldPif:Tr a
•e i
I want a womaAnntioLl_uio,knalet'tol;:r.railete p
pirgitSwiiYili),i.el rlps:tsionnosuftoartthweolt(km.:.
subsistence there, and which no'
destruction of many houses. V.arious means of get-
ht would assail the. Faubourg du Temple, and probably
dou
• tcianig'seritdh.,e.d. this plague, previous to the proposed removal, have
delayfwa'hiliel, which liSinai;rNee t thi?:11; "1:( lei li:stle)lefir(l:, Tlon'lleittil): e''''t i( r) uo.if(l
t
been tried in vain. Even poison has failed, and besith,s. this is
attended with numerous dangers. The most successrul expe-
dient has been rrepently hunting them with dogs. to render
the slaughter the more extensive, all their Myr v,s or out ets
are stopped at midnight, and then, in the morning. the chase
nhlaaanl),e
ae
sn 4ms,aGoode boyf ltoreeshe-lai gnhi
ntl.
al
sOhna
Isome
io, fk thesei
no cac is io
tni
orts
ilii.nigls.
Their skins, when properly' stripped off, without holes or other.
damage, are sold at one Won a-piece, to make gloves. During
the last year:these baud's have been very much attended.-
London paper.-

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