The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1849-08-07 00:00:00

VARIETIES.

The Jews abstain from trading during 66 days of the
year, as follows:—viz., 52 Saturdays; two days, new
years ; four days, Passover ; one day, Black Fast ; two
days, Penticost ; four days, Tabernacle; one day, White
Fast.

There is nothing more annoying in places of business
or public reading-rooms, than two persons continually
conversing in an under-tone. If the example were ge-
nerally followed, a perfect Babel would be the result • and
those parties practising such troublesome improprieties
inevitably become unpopular.
ORIGIN OF LESS CONSEQUENCE THAN DESTINY.—
When Philip Henry, the father of the celebrated com-
mentator, sought the hand of the only daughter and
heiress of Mr. Mathew in marriage, an objection was
made by her father, who admitted he was a gentleman, a
scholar, and an excellent preacher, but he was a stranger,
and " they did not even know where he came from."
" True (said the daughter, who had well weighed the
excellent qualities and graces of the stranger) ; but I
know where he is going, and I should like to go with
him," and they walked life's pilgrimage together.
EPIDEMIC AND OTHER DISEASES—PREVENTIVE
MEDICINES.—AIthough there exist numerous instances,
in most of our towns, of the advantages conferred on the
public health by the partial and limiteditmprovements
which have resulted from the application of the principles
of preventive medicine, through the indefatigable agency
of philanthropic medical men, yet it is impossible to point
in England to any locality where preventive medicine has
been applied, as an art, in an efficient manner. Adven-
titious circumstances, altogether irrespective of the
public good, have generally determined any great improve-
ment in the physical condition of townsmen ; and public
bodies, especially public companies seeking after gain,
are found quite as ready to sacrifice the public health for
their private benefit, when such a course can be adopted
in a private manner, as they are prompt to manifest
regard for the public welfare in striking and readily
observable works or operations which they expect to return
large profits. In the army and navy alone are to be found
fair examples of what can he done by an efficient health
officer to preserve the health and lives of men even when
exposed to what are ordinarily considered certain causes
of disease. The experienced army and navy surgeons are
found to a man declaring in every variety of expression
the one great truth, that preventive medicine will effect
infinitely more for mankind than all the drugs which
have yet been discovered, and all the curative skill which
has ever been exerted for the alleviation of disease. And
wherever interfering and disturbing circumstances have
not operated, the results which they can exhibit show
how completely their principle is borne out. They also
demonstrate to us how surely grand results for human
life and human happiness will yet be worked out, when
the means which have been indicated are applied with
energy and perseverance. Look but to the chances of
life afforded to the sailor now, as compared with former
times. Seventy years ago, the deaths were lin 8
annually ; thirty-eight years ago, they were 1 in 32 ;
twelve years ago, they were lin 72. That is to say, in a
quarter of a century, by efficient management, the general
mortality in the navy was reduced from 3.12 to 1.39
annually in every 100 men, being a reduction of 56 per
cent. in the absolute amount of deaths. In the army,
the mortality has been reduced to about 2 per cent. at
home, and 4 per cent. in our foreign possessions. If one
cogent fact be desired to show the saving of life which
can be effected through health officers, it is found in this,
that Robert Jackson—to whom sufficient honour cannot
be given as a great disciple of preventive medicine—
reduced the mortality of the troops in Jamaica from 120
per thousand to 20 per thousand. The same average is
obtainable for the population of our towns ; but its speedy
attainment depends on the services of those educated in
the school of preventive medicine—on men who will
Imitate the untiring zeal, and who, in viewing the reme-
diable cause of disease, will take that large grasp of the
subject which eminently distinguished their prototype in
military 1110.—Jo urnal of Public Health.

MY UNCLE NICK'S DUEL WITH MAJOR
SABRETASCH, OF THE BUFFS.

(From the Dublin University Magazine.)

Dinner was over, the tables were cleared, and Colonel
Horseman, a retired dragoon, got upon his legs to make
a speech.
" He wished," he said, " to ask the company to drink
the health of the officers of the Buffs, not only for their
own presence upon this festive occasion, stut for their
goodnature in providing the band, which had contributed
so much to the harmony of the evening."
Having expressed himself to the above effect, the ex-
dragoon sat down, and Mr. Augustus Sucklethumbkin,
who was evidently labouring under that nervous trepida-
tion incidental to gentlemen, who, unused to public ora-
tory, will make after-dinner speeches, was relieved from
his anxiety by Major Sabretasch, who, with his usual
pomp, having adjusted each of his moustaches, quite to
his ptisfaction, thus began

" Ladies and Gentlemen,—Although it has pleased her
Majesty to dispense with my humble services, as I am
no longer a member of that distinguished regiment, to
which I shall ever feel it an honour to have belonged, I
feel myself called upon to return you thanks for the—"
" Why can't you put a tune to it, Major? lam sure
you sing like a nightingale," interrupted at this juncture
a voice from the lower end of the room, which those who
were acquainted with it had no difficulty in recognising
as belonging to my uncle Nick.
" Silence! bravo ! " sung out Mr. Augustus Suckle-
thumbkin ; by the way of encouragement to his former
major, who attempted to resume the thread of his dis•
course, so cruelly interrupted. He had scarcely, how-
ever, uttered more than a few words, when his eye was
attracted by my uncle Nick, who was making one of the
most hideous faces at him it is possible to conceive—a
feat which he had a very dexterous mode of performing,
by making his hair and eyebrows approximate. It-was a
curious knack my uncle had of being able to make one of
the very ugliest faces I ever saw ; ant I am very sorry to
say he put it in practice upon this festive occasion, for
the purpose of confusing the major—an end which it an-
swered completely ; for after a few broken sentences,
uttered amid a suppressed titter, that warrior resumed
his seat, his moustaches actually curling themselves with
suppressed indignation.
This little scene did not, however, contribute in the
least to mar the harmony of the evening ; for on the ta-
bles being shortly afterwards stowed away, the band
struck up a lively air, and the dancing commenced with
great spirit, the Hon. Augustus Sucklethumbkin, whose
russia-ducks were now completely dry, and whose spirits
were much elated by the champagne lie had swallowed,
opening the ball with Mrs. Guy Spicer. The next dance
was a polka, for which that lady had engaged herself to
the major; but when the music commenced the gentle-
man was nowhere to be found.

" Allow me to offer myself as a substitute," said Mr.
Augustus Sucklethumbkin, whose awe cf thc widow had,
under the combined influence of dancing and champagne,
by this time completely disappeared.
" Take compassion on me rather," said the ex-colonel
of dragoons ; " a lieutenant can never supply the place
of a major."
" Have pity upon me !" excliimed my uncle, going
down upon one knee, and looking as imploringly as he
possibly could.
" I will, you droll creature," said Mrs. Guy Spicer.
" provided you cor duct yourself with propriety, and
make no ugly faces."
My uncle promised, seized the lady's hand, and was
just about poising himself upon the light fantastic toe,
when in came Major Sabretasch.
" I think Mrs. Guy Spicer engaged herself to me for
the dance," said he, with as much impetuosity as it
would be consistent with his dignity to betray.
" You are too late, old boy," replied my uncle.
The major, his indignation roused by an appellation so
familiar, said—

" I am sure Mrs. Guy Spicer would rather not dance
with you, sir."

" Choose between us," said my uncle; your will is
my pleasure."

"•I shall dance with you you droll creature, of course,"
said the pretty widow, with a toss of her head.
You shall not, madam ! " replied the major, in a
towering passion. _ _ _

" PheW.!" said my uncle, " won't she ?" and off went
that gentleman and off Mrs. Guy Spicer.
The measure of the major's wrath was now full to over-
flowing. It was aggravating in the highest degree, not
only to see Mrs. Guy Spicer thus carried off, but to be-
hold at a distance his own wife evidently enjoying his
discomfiture extremely.
" I'll call that fellow out," said Major Sabretasch, half
aloud.

" 1 think you should," said Mr. Augustus Suckle-
thumbkin, who, being close behind, had heard the half-
muttered exclamation.

" He's an impudent puppy ; he insulted me at dinner,"
said the major.
" Yeth, tho he did," responded Mr. Augustus Suckle-
thumbkin.

" Take him a message to-morrow morning, like a good
fellow," said the major.
" Certainly, by all means," replied Mr. Sucklethumb.
kin, who had not the smallest objection to have his major
shot at.

Meantime the dance had concluded, and having con-
ducted Mrs. Guy Spicer to her seat, my uncle was stroll-
inu about the room, when he met his friend, Mr. Jerry
O'Callaghan, a sporting gentleman in a green cut-away
coat and corduroy smallclothes.
" Jerry," said he, " I hate that Major Sabretasch."
" So do I, by jingo," said Mr. O'Callaghan.
" I think I'll have a shot at him," said my uncle Nick.
" Da so, by all means," said Mr. O'Callaghan.

" Has be given me enough of provocation, I wonder ?"
inquired my uncle.
" You've given him plenty, anyhow," said Mr. O'Cal-
laghan.
" Do you think so ?" inquired my uncle.
" Indeed I do," said Mr. O'Callaghan, who was a bit
of a fire-eater in his way.
" He is such a - puppy," said my uncle.
" So he is," responded Mr. O'Crllaghan.
" Well, we'll sleep over it, at all events," said my
uncle; " and if the morning be fine, why we may as well
amuse ourselves in that way as in any other," said my
uncle. "So you can come home with me, and sleep at
Badger Hall, and we will talk the matter over when we
have more time."

Day had scarcely more than dawned upon the following
morning when a light dogcart, drawn by a grey horse
with a very short tail, might have been descried proceed-
ing leisurely along the road which led from the village of
Drizzlewell towards the Lodge. The driver of that equi-
page, clad in his accustomed dress of green cut-away coat,
with sporting buttons, and corduroy smallclothes, seemed
to enjoy, not only the morning air, but his cigar very
much, as, perched upon a seat so high that he seemed to
be standing, he let the " ribbons" lie carelessly upon the
neck of the short-tailed grey horse, and looked about him
as if greatly delighted by his contemplation of the beau-
ties of nature. A sudden turn in the road disclosed an
object which flashed and glittered in the morning sun,
which Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan had no great difficulty,
even at that distance, in recognising as the very spruce
and highly-varnished gig of Major Sabretasch.
" What can this mean ?" thought he, as, gathering up
the rein in one hand, he seized the whip in the other, and
bestowed a dexterous flip upon the off ear of the grey
horse, who shook his head, as if to resent the indignity,
and forthwith set off at a canter.

The conjecture of Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan did not prove
erroneous. A few moments, and up came a bright bay
mare at a slapping pace; behind her was the varnished
gig, and in that vehicle sat the Hon. Augustus Suckle-
thumbkin, looking very grim indeed. Pulling up the
mare with a sudden jerk, which threw her upon her
haunches, he saluted Mr. O'Callaghan......

" Why: bleth my soul !" said he, " this is an unex-
pected pleasure : I was just on my way to call upon your
friend."

"And I was just upon mine to pay my respects to
Major Sabretasch, said Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan, with a
pleasant smile.
" I presume we are both upon the same errand ?" said
Mr. Sucklt thumkin.

" Very likely," responded Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan,
drily.
" Perhaps you are come to make an apology," said the
lieutenant, as a sudden thought seemed to strike him.
" Are you ?" responded Mr. O'Callaghan.
" I am coming to ask for one," replied the lieutenant,
drawing himself up with much dignity.
" So am I," said Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan.

"We can't do anything of the kin-d," responded the
Hon. Augustus Sucklethumbkin ;" it's quite out of the
question."
" Neither can we," said Jerry, throwing away the end
of his cigar and extracting a fresh one. "So I suppose
neither of us need go any further; we can settle the pre-
liminaries here."

" What's to be done !" inquired the lieutenant.
" We must burn powder, of course," replied Mr.
O'Callaghan.
" Name your time and place, then," said the lieuten-
ant; " and let it be as soon as possible, else the affair
will get wind, and we shall all be put in quod."
" I don't know a nicer or quieter spot than the Deer's
Meadow, and, I suppose, in another hour you can have
your. man on the ground—it's not very far off."
" Certainly : we shall be there by half-past six at
furthest," said Mr. Sucklethumbkin, consulting his watch.
" Very well : you'll find us ready."
And each of the gentlemen having turned his respec-
tive horse, they parted.
" Is your master up, Owen ?" inquired Mr. O'Callag-
han of that domestic, as he pulled up the grey horse, co-
vered with foam, at the door of Badger Hall.
"Not stirring yet, sir," replied the servant, glancing
uneasily at the querist, as it he thought there was some-
thing uneasy in the wind.
Mr. O'Callaghan forthwith proceeded to my uncle's
chamber, which having entered, he flung open the shut-
ters, threw up the window, and gave the somnolent tenant
thereof, who was snoring heartily, a shake that might
have awakened the seven sleepers.
" By jingo, they'll fight !" cried Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan.
" Fight ? Who ? What ?" inquired my uncle, only
half awake, raising himself in bed.
`• 'Why, Sabretasch, of course. Did'nt you tell me to
take a message to him ?"
" I had forgotten all about it, but I remember it now,"
said my uncle, plunging his head into a basin of cold
water, the tonic effects of which soon restored him to the
perfect use of his faculties. While he was making his
toilette, Mr. O'Callaghan proceeded to inform him of what
had taken place, interspersed with certain shrewd com-
ments of his own Amon the conduct of the Hon. Augustus
Sucklefhumbkin, to whom, it appeared, Mr. O'Callaghan
had made a present of his extreme aversion.
The grey dawn had melted away into as beautiful a
summer a morning as ever was seen : the tops of the Car-
lingford mountains were tinted with red light, and the
waters of the bay sparkled in the sunshine, as my Uncle

Nick and Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan entered the field known
by the name of the Deer's Meadow, about five minutes
before the appointed time. My uncle, enveloped in a
huge blue cloak, the folds of which were wrapped closely
around his stalwart form, strode hastily along, with a
" mild havanna" between his lips. Mr. O'Callaghan
walked beside him, while in the rear followed the faithful
Owen, with a very rueful expression of countenance, car-
rying a small mahogany case, the brazen clasps of which
flashed and glittered in the sun.
" I think this ought to be about the ground," said Mr.
Jerry O'Callaghan, receiving from the hands of Owen the
brass-bound mahogany case, the contents of which he
proceeded to investigate.
" And as sweet a spot for a gentleman to be stretched
on a quilt of daisies as ever my eyes lighted upon" replied
my uncle ; " but what o'clock is it, Owen ?"
" Twenty minutes to seven," replied the domestic, ex-
tracting from his pocket a watch of about the dimensions
of a turnip.
" We must give them half-an-hour's law," said my un-
cle ; " they had farther to come than we had."
" Here's some one, anyhow," replied Mr: O'Callaghan,
and a shout in the distance broke upon his ear.
" 'Tis the peelers, maybe, your honour, suggested
Owen, touching his hat.
He had scarcely spoken, when two figures on horse-
back—one rather in front of the other, were descried ra-
pidly crossing the country in the direction of the Deer's
Meadow. On they came at a slapping pace, clearing
everything that came in their way. They drew rapidly
near. A stiff fence—a regular rasper, that would have
made many a bold Galway rider crane—bounded the nor-
thern extremity of the field. The foremost rider went
slap at it, his horse well in hand, in a swinging canter ;
another instant, and clearing the rasper gallantly, his
whip in his mouth, in came Major Sabretasch, of the
Buffs, ,followed by the lieutenant, who did not make his
entree in a manner nearly so graceful, but seemed to sit
uneasily in his saddle.
" This looks well, at all events," said my uncle.
" No funking," replied Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan; " al.
though riding a thoroughbred hack across the country
has by no means a tendency to steady a man's hand for
anything of this sort."
As soon as the lieutenant had descended from his
charger, he ,nodded in recognition of Mr. Jerry O'Calla--
ghan, an act of courtesy which that gentleman returned
by a profound obeisance, remarking at the same time that
the morning was uncommonly favourable for the work.
" Charming !" lisped the Hon. Augustus Suckle-
thnmbkin.

" I suppose the sooner we go to work the better," re-
plied Jerry ; " but where are your tools ?"
" We've got none," responded the lieutenant ; " and
there was no time to send to look for such articles ; but I
suppose we can have the use of yours ?"
" With all the pleasure in life !" said Mr. O'Callaghan.
" Beautiful tools they are, and have done work in their
time."

" Saw handles, I perceive ?" said the Hon. Augustus
Sucklethumbkin. _ _

" The more handy on that account," replied my uncle's
second. " I suppose we may as well load now."

" By all means."
" Come here, Owen," shouted Mr. O'Callaghan.

And that worthy functionary, advancing, Produced a
huge bundle, wrapped in a checquer handkerchief, which,
having deposited on the grass, he proceeded carefully to
untie.

It was worth any money, my uncle used to say, to wit-
ness the English officer's face of astonishment as the con-
tents of the bundle became revealed to the eye. There
was first of all a big canvass bag, chuck full of bullets,
newly melted, a huge flask, rudely constructed of cow's
horn, amply supplied with Pigou and Wilks' best pow-
der, a box of percussion caps, and another full of leather
wadding. In short, there was ammunition almost suffi-
cient for a whole platoon of grenadiers.
" Why, bless my thoul, said the Hon. Augustus,
" what can you be going to do with all that ?"
" We may want the most of it before we're done," re-
plied Mr. Jerry O'Callaghan.
" Ridiculous !" said the lieutenant, shrugging his
shoulders.

" You and I may have to take a turn," responded Mr.
O'Callaghan, with a grim smile, proceeding to load.
The lieutenant said nothing, but did not look quite at
his ease. All necessary preliminaries having been ar-
ranged, my uncle Nick and Major Sabretasch were placed
" within that gentlemanly distance," twelve paces ; and
it was agreed upon that after the words, " gentlemen, are
you ready—fire !" were uttered, each of them was to
blaze away. The pistols were placed in their hands, and
the seconds withdrew to a short distance.

" Gentlemen, are you ready ?" said Mr. Jerry O'Cal-
laghan. He had scarcely spoken, when a new actor made
his appearance upon the scene, whose appearance was so
extraordinary that the words which were trembling on the
lips of the lieutenant were arrested ; he was an elderly
gentleman, in a broad-brimmed hat and coat, the tails of
which streaming in the wind as be rushed in, unmistake-
ably proclaimed his profession. He screamed as he drew
near, with hands uplifted— _ _ .

"lam a man of peace. I forbid this unholy and mor-
tal encounter. I forbid it in the name of"--

" Out of the way, or you'll be shot," interrupted my
uncle, in a voice of thunder.
" Fire !" shouted Mr. O'Callaghan.
" Fire! fire !" responded the Hon. Augustus Suale-
thumbkin, as if he was greatly afraid there should be no
duel after all.

" Crack ! crack " went the pistols, off flew the broad-
brimmed hat, down went the Quaker, and down also,with
a bullet in the calf of his leg, went Major Sabretasch, of
the Buffs.

" Good heavens ! he's hit, I fear," said my uncle.
" By jingo ! he has shot the Quaker !" shouted Mr.
Jerry O'Callaghan.
" Bleth my thoul ! how extraordinary !" said the Hon.
Augustus Sucklethumbkin, with a face of great dismay.
Both surmises were in some degree correct. Major
Sabretasch was found, upon examination, to have received
the injury already mentioned, which for some time spoiled
his dancing ; while the man of peace was stunned by a
graze from the bullet of the major's pistol, who, whether
designedly, or whether in the distraction caused by this
unexpected apparition, had in his hurry fired at the wrong
man, and had very nearly terminated the useful existence
of the man of peace, whose residence being close adjoin-
ing had given him the opportunity of observing what was
about to take place.
" Verily, I thought I was shot," said the Quaker, who
had now somewhat revived, and was sitting on the grass,
rubbing his head, and looking eagerly at his broad-brim,
which had a great hole in the crown.
" Friend, thou hadst no business here," said my uncle
Nick.

" I remember," said Mr. Jeri y O'Callaghan, " some-
thing like this before. We had got into a field, in the de-
mesne of the Lord Bishop of Kildare, the ground was
measured, the men placed, and we were just going to fire,
when the bishop's servant appeared, with his master's
compliments, to say that his lordship had a great objection
to gentlemen shooting each other in his grounds, and one
of us, I forget which, shot away the flunkey's coat tail by
accident."

I have nothing to add, except that Major Sabretasch,
of the Buffs, did not dance the polka for a considerable
time after his accident, and that my uncle Nick proposed,
in due course, to Mrs. Guy Spicer, and was—rejected, for
which I take this opportunity to thank that lady, as I am
now his heir, and reside in Badger Hall.

THE LIVERPOOL STANDAR&