The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1847-12-28 00:00:00

VARIETIES

INR.—The black sea on which thought rides at anchor.
PEDANTRY.—lntellectual tight-lacing.
MONEY.—The largest slavebolder in the world.
How TO PUT DOWN REPEAL IN IRELAND.—Agitate for
it in England.
DIRECTION FOR HUSBANDS.—AII the wards of a latch-
key should be home-wards.

Dr. Holland says, " That if persons are always suppos-
ing that they are liable to a certain distemper, the nerves
will so act on the part that it is likely to come upon them."
A WHOLE SERMON.—Beloved Brethren, the Scriptures
tell u% that the wages of sin is death. Now, my advice is,
that you leave off sinning and strike for higher pay.—
Independent Democ-rat, 11-g-

Not to give to the poor is to take from him ; not to feed
the hungry, if thou hast it, is the utmost of thy power to
kill him ; that therefore thou mayest avoid both sacrilege
and murder, be charitable.—Quarles's Enchiridion.
A poor corset-maker, out of work and starving, thus
vented his miserable complaint—" Shame that I should
be without bread—l that have stayed the stomachs o
thousands !"

FULL-FLAVOURED SIMILE.—Men are frequently like
tea—the real strength and goodness is not properly drawn
out of them till they have been for a short time in hot
water.

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth, if bad fish were sold to
the poor, the knavish fishmonger was decorated with a
necklace of his unsavoury commodity, and was then
perched on a stand in the market.
FINE WRITING !—The Bradford Observer says,—" The
firmament looked on Sunday evening as if it had been
dragged through the sea, and imagination might easily
see in the dark, jagged, restless clouds, its dishevelled hair
scattered over its agitated forehead."

THE TRUE PHILOSOPHY.—" What do you mean to do
with K ?" said a friend to Theodore Hook, alluding to a
man who had grossly vilified him. "Do with him ?" re-
plied Hook ; why, I mean to let him alone most
severely." . . .

CHINESE MANNERS.—When admitted to an audience
of a mandarin, whatever is your first remark, he repeats
your own words, and instead of answering, asks, `• How
old are you )" This is considered a form of politeness,
and a necessary compliment.—Fortune's China.
A merchant, examining a hogshead of hardware, on
comparing it with the invoice, found it all right except a
hammer less than the invoice. " Oh! don't be troubled,
my honey," said the Irish porter, " sure the nager took
it out to open the hogshead with."
Lieut. Burke, of the Bombay engineers, has published
a pamphlet, in which he states that one of the salt beds of
Scinde contains an area of 300 miles of salt, of an average
thickness of three feet, or a supply equal to the consump-
tion of 100,000,000 of people for 1600 years.
The Bristol Times reports the following conversation
between two " fast " urchins under fourteen years of age,
as having actually been overheard in a confectioner's shop
the other day : "Tom—do you smoke much now? "
" No—the cigars are so bad now, that unless a man()
imports his own tobacco, he can't get on with comfort."
SUPERFINE PROOFS. -A Proof of Kindness.—Getting
any one to accept an Art-Union engraving. A Proof
of Gratitude.—Getting a person, not only to accept one,
but actually to say " Thank you, and afterwards to frame
it. A Proof of the latter is exceedingly rare, and would,
we are confident, fetch a very high price among connois-
seurs.—Punch.

METROPOLITAN CHURCHYARDS.—Mr. Walker has
given notice to the Government that he shall keep a
watchful eye upon the floor of the House of Commons,
and if it is overcrowded with the bodies of the Irish mem-
bers, who have threatened to die there, he certainly shall
do everything in his power to remove the nuisance. If he
could do it before they die, we should not mind.—Punch.
WHEWELL AND THE WAGER.—There was a notice put
up in Trinity College, Cambridge, the other day, Saying
that if any undergraduate were found with a betting, book
on his person, it should be sent up to the master (Profes-
sor Whewell). One having been discovered, was so dealt
with, and when opened by the doctor, the first bet that
met his eye was, Ten to one that Whewell does not get
Hereford."
ABORIGINAL PPECOCITY.—AII those who have ex-
pressed an opinion on the subject seem to agree, that the
children of most native races are fully or more than. a
match for those of Europeans in aptitude for intellectual
acquirement. Indeed it appears to be a singular law of
nature, that there is less precocity in the European race
than almost any other. In those races in which we seem
to have reason for believing that the intellectual organ-
ization is lower, perception is quicker and maturely ear-
lier. And it is easy to perceive the very great benefits
which would result from the association of Europeans and
natives in early life.—Merirale's Lectures on Coloniza-
tion.

THE INTERIOR OF SHARSPEARE'SHOUSE.—AII around
is dark and heavy. The square shop—if it may be called
a shop—is rudely flagged with broad stones, round which
in the winter time the water oozes up. The white-washed
walls stand about dimly under the shadow of the window-
screen which slopes downwards to the street. A massive
chimney, with its hold ingle, comes out into the floor;
and an open door at the back, reached by a single stone
step, leads at once into the kitchen. This is warmer,
smaller, and still more shut up in ancient characteristics.
The vast fire-place on one side, and the oakstairs on the
other, winding up through the wall into the room where
Shakspeare was born, are unmistakeable evidences of the
rude and enduring architecture of a remote age.
HUNTING SCENE IN A LAND OF FREEDOM.—A female
runaway slave had been missed some days by her master.
lie employed some " nigger-catchers" to take her, put-
ting them, as near as he was able, on her track. After a
short time, the hounds scented her, and opened mouth in
full cry. They tracked her to a house, which was nearly
finished, but not occupied, in which the poor woman had
taken shelter, and was lying secreted in a chimney. The
dogs leaped in at a window, and discovered a foot protru-
ding from the chimney. The leading dog seized her by
the foot, and dragged her down, the rest tore her to pieces,
before their master could come up to prevent it. I re-
ceived this account from a person of respectability at Co-
lumbia, in whose veracity I have every confidence.—Re-
port of an English Traveller.