The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1853-05-03 00:00:00

THE BUDGET MADE EASY.

Mr. PUNCH and Mr. GLADSTONE. (After Dinner.)
Mr. P, What do you do with the Income Tax?
Mr. G. It must still lie on the people's backs.
Mr. P. What ! to be a perpetual fixity?
Mr. G. Not after 1860.
Mr..P. Re-constructed, or lightaned duty?
Mr. G. Neither; for either would spoil its beauty.
Mr. P. Extended to humbler incomes, I fear?
Mr. G. To all exceeding .4'loo a year.
Mr: P. Do you mean to lay it on Ireland, Wally ?
Mr. G. Divil a claim to exemption has Paddy.
Mr. P. Legacy Duty Reform we've prayed for.
Mr. G. All successions must now be paid for.
Mr. P. Any new tax on Spirit Distilling?
Mr. G. From tipsy Scotlandan extra shilling.
I/Ir. P. Not on " L. L." or potheen. I 'spose?
Mr. G. We'll let Patt off for a couple of Joes.
Mr. P. None of his burdens-to be abated?
Mr. G. Yes, All his debt in Consolidated.
Mr. P. I say, my William,.you're making a purse—.
Mr. G. Over two million—it might be worse.
Mr. P. Now you'll talk of Remission, I hope.;
Mr. G. Off goes all the duty on Soap.
Mr. P. Good! Go on till I bid you stop.
Mr. G. At different rates-these duties will:drop ;
On Life Assurance, on 'Prentice Stamps,
On Lawyers' Licenses.
Mr. P. (aside). Bless the scamps !
Mr. G. On Cabs to keep up the tax were shabby,.
As Fitzroy's going to deal with Cabby :
Receipt Stamps we'll abolish—instead,
Stamp your bill with a-penny Queen's head.
From the eighteenpenee Advertisements pay
Deduct a shilling—nay, hear me, pray !
We'll sponge out the crimson patch diurnal,
On the supplemental sheet of the journal.
Mr. P. I think I know who will like that move.;
However, we've got you in Gibson's groove.
Mr. G. I give up. something from various SCUM—
Servants, carriages, dogs, and horses.
Mr. P. (with intention). Fill your glass. ;
Mr. G. The sarcasm's fine
But I can't take off the duty on Wine
No chance of that, as it seems to me,
But fourpence-halfpenny off your Tea ;
And in just three years that duty shall sink
To a shilling a pound on the feminine drink.
Mr. P. Ts Duce? As will be, I trust, the case. •.
Mr. G. Puncho Juvente, I'll keep my place.
I can't give wine, but give dessert '
The following things shall be cheap as dirt:—
Nuts and cocoa, raisins and cheese;
Eggs and butter from over tile seas :
On lemons a lighter duty shall fall—
Mr. P. One of the wisest provisions of all.
Mr. G. On a hundred-and-twenty items, I say,
The whole of the duty I sweep away;
And much reduce the duty that bore
On just a hundred-and-thirty more.
Mr. P. How many millions of taxes cease?
Mr. G. Two-and-a-half, if we keep the peace.
Mr. P. Well, altogether, it does you credit.
Mr. G. (earnestly). Think so?
Mr. P. (patronizingly). William, my boy, I've said it.

SPIRITUAL RAPPISTS' CONVENTION-
MINISTER IN A TRANCE.

The spiritualists held a convention, on Wednesday 8,r3004
Thursday, at Springfield, United States. The Repubhe,s,
gives a long account of the farcical and wicked doisbo,
We copy a scene, in which John M. Spear, of Bestoo
and a lady were the actors. The couple, having gone-6
11/c
sleep, subsequently rose from their benches, and
lunatic somnambulists, belched forth thus : 0):
Mr. Spear (hands to his face—face red as a oabbag, !
800 boo ! Ahab boo hoo ! Oh-h-h boo hoo-00.00,4
My father is dead, my mother is dead, and my little al
P
is dead ! I saw them all buried in the grave ! Aro,
must be buried in the grave ! (Wringing his hand
800 boo ! Oh, where is my mother? Where i?
father ? And where is my little boy. (More blubbello
Lady (arising and advancing) : Your father and to°,o:
are here, and little Johnny is here. Don't you see ther
Here they are, and here is little Johnny—little cu
headed fellow ! • a nift
A

Mr. Spear (more boo-hooing): My father is dee"o,
mother is dead, and little Johnny is dead. Oh !
to see little Johnny ! Oh ! I wish I was dead, toe ! tbel
Lady (kindly): Here they are ; they are not dead ,
are living.
Mr. Spear: Little Johnny is dead. I saw him die'
Lady : No, Johnny is not dead.
Mr. Spear : It's a lie.
01
Lady : Why, here he is. Can't you see him? 11
and is here by your side. 011'
Mr. Spear : It's a lie ! It's an infernal lie ! •
where is Johnny
ddregsol,
Mr. Finney, of Ohio (advancing, and partly a- fo;
the audience): Here is materialism in its grossest 11
(Addressing the lady) : He comprehends you notes et.%
eyes are closed. With the material vision he
..„%st 11"
spiritual realities. He must be educated. Be '—
taught the very A B C's of spiritual being. ft
Mr. Spear : I want to see Johnny. 011! can
Lady (impatiently sputtering): Patience !
you see him ?
his, lief:
LAMARTINTE has recovered his health, and biy.
work is to be a history of the Constituent Aver°
espeet:
MORE OF THE RAPPlNGS.—Ebenezer Pope, a r,rhore
day.able citHizeenleoafvAelsiltaonfa,
mhuilnyg. hirnssaenlfitiyn,
°Yrianis one
rapping delusion, caused the mournful act.
(N.Y)
of the selectmen of the town.—Rome
April 5. hriessublatr;