The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-01-21 00:00:00

FACETI/E.

The Boston Traveller says, the best snuff in the world is
a snuff of the morning air.
They have a judge in Missouri who glories in the name of
Lawless, and a Mr. Gamble is the clerk of the court.
A lawyer complained to a friend of Sir Chas. Wetherell
coining so many words. " I would not care for his coining,
said George Rose, " if he would not utter them.'
A lady visiting the British Museum inquired if they had a
skull of Newton ; when answered in the negative, she said,
" I wonder at that ; they have got one at Oxford."
DOUBLE FARMERS.—The Siamese twins have purchased
a farm in Wilkes county, N. C., and gone to farm it in real
earnest. They drive a double team, and ought to raise a
double crop.
" My dear madam," said a doctor to his patient, " I am
glad to see you yet in life. At my last visit yesterday, you
know, I told you you had but six hours to live." Yes,
doctor, you did ; but I did not take the dose you left."
A Yankee orator, wishing to conciliate some Germans just
previous to an election, in order to obtain their votes, ob-
served, that though he was not a German himself, yet he had
a brother who was remarkably fond of German sausages !

EPIGRAM.
I'll tell you why our ministers,
As whigs are written down,—
Because a wig is something false •
Attached unto the crown.
A German who had been rambling through a village seek-
ing an inn, where he was to meet a friend, asked repeatedly
where was the " bubbly goose." At length, after much
trouble, it was found that he wanted the "public-haw."
A. BIRD'S-EYE VlEW.—There is a firm up town, at one
saidhteon,,th mekye a look
biradt,,_eye
view" of the matter.
of the corners in Houston-street, who boast the euphonious
any-
thingappellation they undoubtedly "See
a
and
indßa Bird." db.e said "
—"
of RznbriuNdineadigliCceYn. contemporary remarks rheamvaerkbsee:—:;etThloeorseeinins
who said—" Religious disputations upon any subject will be
our beloved land." This is a match for the Maine editor,
oAu scnoens
excluded from our columns."
" My dear, what shall we have for dinner to-d
diay ?" "ne on One
of your smiles," replied the husband ;
any day," " But can't," said the wife. " Then take this"
" I can that
said he giving her a kiss, as he departed for his office. He
returned to dinner. " This steak is excellent," said lie ;
what did you pay for it?" '
What
you gave me this
morning," said she. " You did!" said he, " then you
shall have market money the rest of the time."
INTERNAL IMPROVEMENT.— We are very happy to sec
our highly respectable nigger cotemporary, the Sun, manifest
so much zeal against lottery gambling and in favour of sound
morals. It has made a great moral improvement since it
was indicted and convicted for waylaying an express rider,
and stealing other mens property. I.et it go on and make
York an exposure of:the hells of New York and regular gambli4,
and then it may save. its soul and earn some reputation. Go
on, woolly heads !—New paper.

On Saturday last, a vat, containing between four and five
thousand gallons of porter, belonging to Mr. c
--Parn, of
Connor Park BresVery, burst, and the liquor flowed into the
canal, which is close by. The discoloration of the water was
observed for more than a mile.—Derby Reporter.