The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-06-23 00:00:00

THE EARL FITZWILLIAM

" Thou wear a lion's hide! doff it, for shame,
And hang a calf skin on those recreant limbs."

Lord Fitzwilliam is a man with one and only one idea.
That solitary crotchet has taken such firm hold of his minute
intellect that he can never forget it. When he sleeps he
dreams of it ; when he wakes he thinks of it ; when he is
alone he muses upon it ; when he can meet with any one who
will listen to him he talks of it; and when no one will listen
to him he writes about it. Morning, noon, and night, in the
bosom of his family, in the private circle of his personal
friends, in the senate, at the rout, at the festive board, in the
theatre, at each and all of these places, and even in the church
as well, does Lord Fitzwilliam carry with him his one idea.
It is ever present, it is part and parcel of himself. It would
be as reasonable to expect Joe Hume to talk grammar, or
O'Connell to conduct himself like a gentleman, as to expect
the Lord of Wentworth to speak on any matter for five mi-
nutes without dragging it by the neck and shoulders the
single subject to which all the powers of his stupendous
mind are devoted. What is that subject? will be asked.
Is it one of great public importance? Is it a project which,
if carried out, is calculated to benefit the poorer classes of
society ? Is it likely to make England greater and more
glorious? Oh no! It is a project certain to be attended
with the most pernicious results to the country at large,
to destroy the agricultural interest, to inflict great injury
on the labourer and the artizan, to make England depen-
dent on foreign countries for the bread she eats. It is,
in short—to repeal the corn-laws. " What then," it will be
said, " can Lord Fitzwilliam mean by making such a baneful
scheme his hobby, when there are so many others to which
he might devote his attention, with honour to himself and
with advantage to his country ?" A very proper and very
natural question certainly, but the only answer we can return
is, that his lordship is a whig, and that it is the end and aim
of his political creed to do as little good, and to commit as
much injury as possible. " But can Lord Fitzwilliam, who
is a real lord, you know, think and talk of nothing else than
that horrid scheme of repealing the corn laws, and thereby
making papa a beggar ?" Is a question which will be put by
one of those black-eyed beauties who live in the large, com-
fortable, old-fashioned English farm houses with which our
own beautiful county abounds. " Even so," we reply.—
" But is'nt he a great bore ?" Ah ! you may say that, he is
a bore, a most intolerable bore, in proof whereof we will give
a short sketch of his conversation on one particular day :
" Well, my Lord Fitzwilliam," said the Hon. Mr. Fiddle
Paddle, " we've had beautiful weather lately." " Beautiful
weather! egad, if we could only get the corn laws repealed
we should then have weather which might indeed be
called beautiful. " A fine horse, that of yours," observed
Lord Stablejacket. " Why he's very well, but nothing to
what he would be if we could get rid of those confounded
corn laws." "Ah ! moi foine fello, look at my whiskarr,
there's a fine curl, quoite natural, no curling iron, one of the
beauties of nature, is'nt it ?" insinuatingly enquired the
Marquis of Normanby. " Beautiful ! upon my soul, beauti-
ful ! but don't you see, my Lord, that if the corn laws
were repealed curling irons could be got for nothing,
whilst Macassar Oil would be one hundred per cent.
cheaper ?" " What?" ejaculated the noble Marquis, giving
a tragic start, and clapping his hand on his forehead,
as he used to do when he played Hamlet at Florence. " Did
my ears deceive me ? Did I hear aright ? Speak those words
again, I pray you." Lord Fitzwilliam complied. " Curling
irons for nothing, and Macassar one hundred per cent.
cheaper," said the noble Secretary of State for the Home
Department, folding his arms and stalking solemnly across
the apartment. " Then I'll go and vote at the cabinet meet-
ing to make the corn laws an ' open question.' " " And
pway wawt may be your lordship's pwivate opinion of Tal-
fowd's new play ; not quite equal to some of mine, I think,
eh ?" gently lisped Sir Lyttel Bulrush, Baronet and M.P.
" Why, Talfourd's a clever fellow, and a corn law repealer,
but 1 declare he has not once mentioned those injurious laws
in his play. Now, he might have done the cause good ser-
vice if he had made Halbert Macdonald exclaim, There is a
fate hangs over me, and it's set on by those accursed corn
laws.' It would have been a poetical and natural idea, and
would have impressed the people with a greater detestation
of those abominable laws." " What a shocking thing it is
that so many murders should have been committed within so
short a time, isn't it, my lord ?" observed Mrs. Fitzhorrible.
" It is, indeed, my dear madam ; but what can we expect
whilst there is a tax on bread? Talking about the tax on
bread, by the by, reminds me that I have my last treatise on
the corn laws in my pocket, and I will do myself the pleasure
of reading it to you." Whilst the noble lord, however, was
fumbling for his pamphlet against the corn laws, Mrs. Fitz-
' horrible recollected that she had to fetch some article from
another apartment. We will leave his lordship waiting for
the lady's return.
When Lord Fitzwilliam was in the House of Commons,
he was generally considered a bore. Canning nicknamed
him " Lord Millstone," because he boasted of being able to
see as far into a millstone as most folks. The corn law
question has always been a favourite theme of his, but it is
only since he has been in the upper house that he has made
it nearly the sole occupation of his life. Session after ses-
sion has he endeavoured to induce the House of Lords to
grant a committee to inquire into the operation of the corn
laws, or to take some other step to upset them ; but hitherto
all his endeavours have been unsuccessful. He is, however,
not to be discouraged, and he has accordingly at this
moment a notice of a motion on the order-book of the
House of Lords on the same subject. When that motion is
brought forward, the house will be entertained with another
edition of the speech which he has so often delivered, and
which has been so often refuted. The same statement of
what he calls facts will be hashed up again ; the same. string
of sentences, which he calls argument, will be repolished ;
the same vapid images, which he considers flourishes
of rhetoric, will be repeated ; and the same absurd antics
and ridiculous gesticulations will be gone through. Having
amused himself in this manner for about three quarters
of an hour, the noble earl will sit down, though not before
he has thoroughly exhausted the patience of his hearers. Some
discussion will then take place, and eventually the motion
will be negatived by a large majority. The next morning- a
report of the debate will appear in the newspapers. The
Morning Chronicle will call attention, in a leading article, to
Lord Fitz william's speech, and Lord Fitzwilliam will there-
upon order five hundred copies of the Morning Chronicle,
which he will despatch to his agents in the country, with di-
rections to distribute them to his tenants and friends. A
few weeks afterwards he will print his speech, " with notes,
additions, and corrections," and get Ridgway to publish it
for him. In due course of time Ridgway will present a hill
for a few hundreds of pounds, and inform his lordship that,
as nobody would purchase the speech, he has been under the
necessity of selling it as waste paper to the buttermen. Lord
Fitzwilliam will thereupon hand Ridgway a check, curse the
stupidity of the people, and bow Ridgway out. His lordship
will then give himself not much further trouble about the
corn-laws, except the trouble of chattering about them to
every one who comes near him, until the ensuing Session of
Parliament, when he will repeat the performances we have
just described.
Lord Fitzwilliam being a large landed proprietor, the sin-
gularity of his opinions on the corn laws occasion the more
wonder. He is possessed, I believe, of great property, and
perhaps does not mind losing a few thousands per annum,
by the repeal of the corn laws, to pay for his fancy ; but he
should recollect that a loss which is trifling to him would be
ruinous to his tenants. Ile is, I understand, a good land-
lord, and a kind-hearted man in private life. He seems,
from his doings in the legislature, " a good-natured sort of
simpleton." He often, indeed always, when he speaks, gets
laughed at ; but instead of turning crusty, he laughs too, a•!
though he thought it good fun. He has a frank, open, ana
pleasing countenance, with light sandy hair, and is about the
middle height. He dresses with simplicity. Of statesman-
ship he knows nothing, and makes no pretensions to it, ex-
cept on the single question of the corn laws. He understands
as much about oratory as the man who feeds his pigs. 11,
seems to have a strange liking to see himself in print, for
ti.:e
has written several pamphlets on his everlasting theme— le
corn laws.

" 'Tis pleasant, sure, to see one's name in print; »A
book 's a book, although there's nothing in t.
As the pleasure is a harmless one, there can be no objection
to Lord Fitzwilliam indulging in it as much as he Pleases'
though Heaven in its mercy forbid that we or any other per-
son should be obliged to read his lucubrations!
A. T• T. Y'

List of passengers per ship South America, from New
York.—Mr. Chas. Coffin, Mr. W. B. Higgins, Mr. E. D•
Harbon, Mr. G. Alexander, Mr. John Reid Mr. W. B.
Wright, Mr. J. L. Perrin, Mr. Jas. C. S. L. Morrison, Mr.
J. J. Ryan, Mr. H. Black, Mr. S. Poole, Mr. J. D. Prince
aril. lady, Mr. John Schofield, Mr. J. S. Orr, Mr. John
Cheethaw, Mr. Josh. Massey, Mr. J. D' . Roche, Mr. Robt.
Dickens, Mr. Thomas Bryant, and Miss James.
HALIFAX AND BOSTON STEAM-SHIPS.—We observe
that the sailing of the Britannia has been postponed to the
4th July, in consequence of the Post-office determining to
make up the North American mails on the 3d, instead of
the Ist of the month, as heretofore. We understancl, lest
the repeated trials of the Britannia have proved in the highest
degree satisfactory to all concerned. That every
be in a finished state on arriving here, thing may
she is, we find, not to
leave the Clyde for this port until to-morrow or next day:
ANCIENT ORDER OF FORESTERS.—A splendid procession
of this order took place yesterday in Birkenhead, the mem-
bers, with their banners, bands, &c. proceeding from Mr.
Mozley's, the Albion Hotel, to Woodside, and returning
through the principal streets to the place of starting-, wherr
a good substantial dinner was provided by Mr. Mozley ,
which gave great satisfaction to the coin
Dr. Mallin, a brother of the order, was the chairman, and
after presentd.
after a number of loyal and patriotic toasts- had been gi.% en,
interspersed with excellent singing, the.inFmbers sepiated
at a late hour. We understand that a similar procession in
Liverpool will take place early in August, and we are glad to
find that the order is rapidly rising in numbers and re-
spectability.