The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1838-03-02 00:00:00

TO JOSEPH WALMSLEY, ESQ.

--- -
Corn Merchant and Town Councillor, Patron of St. Luke's—
C hairman of the Tradesmen's ReformAssociation—Chairman
of the Watch Board —Member of the Education, Chtirch Ex-
penditure, Town Dues, and Borough Court, and Court of
. Requests Committees—Member of the Dock Committee—
., -Governor General and Director of the Angel Inn Committee
—Lord High Admiral of the Police Establishment—Lecturer
on Statistics to the British Association—Author of the cele-
brated work " What have the Council Dune ?"

My DEAR JOSEPH,--I regret that a long absence from the
good old town has prevented me paying my respects to you for
a considerable period, and as I am again going abroad, I can•
not depart without " renewing the assurances of toy distinguished
consideration."
But mill ! Joseph, what a string of titles you havegot. "The
Duke" hasn't half as many, and I hope I havn't forgotten one;
for 1 am told that you are become so wary of late that you are
highly indignant at any omission of that sort. This, however, is
probably a tory lie. Some men are born to honour, some
achieve it, and some have it thrust upon them, so says an igno•
rant fellow with whom you are probably not acquainted, for he
wasn't a 'ebonies institute man.
Now as in this aristocratic land you were not born to honour,
and as the Vote by Ballad in the council room the other day
prevented honour being thrust upon you, although your friend,
'Tom Bean, says its no honour, of course you are quite right in
achieving it. But having a great regard for you, and being my-
self an old man, whose trifling suns of wisdom is the result of
experience, I deem it right to give you a little advice before my
departure, lest you should run too fast, get out of breath, and
so permit some turtle-faced fellow or other to outstrip you in
the race of honour. Just now, my dear, Joseph, I understand
that you are a very great man, and as every body says so, it
must be true—you are wielding as much patronage in a small•
way, as Dan himself. You know Dan, of course, because he
and you were mighty intimate touching that nasty, unfortunate
business of bringing Elphinstone here. But it couldn't be
helped. You rather over-rated your self-importance, to be sure,
on that occasion, but the most splendid characters always com-
mit splendid blunders. It only proved that you are no common
man.
But this is a digression. The council themselves stand in
awe of your power—watch every motion of your hand—every
glance of your sparkling eye, and as long as you have the de-
form association at your back you make them do any thing,
if they don't vote by ballot! Now take my adviiir dear Joseph,
and if you see occasion to use the cat, let you stripes be tem•
pered with mercy, for some of them are high spirited fellows,
and rather pugnacious, and it is not unlikely that they may re-
member your autocracy, and give you a kick when you least
expect it. Not a few of them also are really gentlemen, and
although they may permit you to shake a finger on the hustings,
or to claim acquaintance at a tavern ward dinner, when your
services are wanted, depend upon it, that not a few will resent
too much familiarity from one whose blood cannot be traced as
far back as their own.
robably
At present from your commanding talents you may p
assume a little; but I repeat that tt is tender ground, and al-
most as dangerous as treading ,in the gouty foot of a turtle-fed
Alderman, though thanks to the Reform Bill, that class of
gentry is consigned to the tomb of the Capulets. Some people
say that our own party is jealous of you, but that I take to be
" a weak invention of the enemy."
Another hint I wish to give you is—not to make yourself too
cheap. lam told that you are galivanting night atter night, in
tavern after tavern—making speeches, and hip hip hurrahing
at fiddle pitch—that you are continually on the run from
one committee to another—that you are in a sweat from morn-
ing till night—that the day is too short—that you are loaded
and discharged fifty times a day—and that your brain is so full
of politics, that when you do snatch a few minutes to " attend
market" every body is afraid of going near one who is so
lammed and primed that he may at any moment go off. Now
don't do this, I beg. Recollect that your place couldn't be sup-
plied just now, and you will lose power if you are always on the
stretch. Besides, there is not a more ungrateful hydra either
on earth or in imagination than that belauded personage " the
public." An old almanac, called history, states that several of
the French senators, who, like you, did all they could to en-
large the franchise, and so assisted to set a machine in motion
which they hadn't the power to stop, were in a few months after
their votes had been given denuded of their own liberty.
ordered off to the swamps on the Gulph of Mexico, and as they
passed on in Iron Cases through the towns which they had for-
merly represented, were pelted and bemudded in the market
place by the very mobs they had assisted to enfranchise.
I merely wish to refresh your memory with this fact, for I am
sure you have no reading time at present-1 have no fear for
you if you are only discreet, and don't suffer yourself to be car-
ried away by popularity. Therefore, I repeat, don't be so very
cheap, nor suffer any body to take you

for a tool
" That knaves do work with, called a f001.,'

Another hint I wish to throw out is that you should cease
reading your speeches from your hat. It has a bad look and
may make ignorant people think that you are not able to de-
liver a speech. Always lay your hat down when you speak—
and if you have time, get speeches off over night. Shiel of
Tipperary does so, and it is a good plan. You should also give
them to the reporters beforehand, for these gentlemen can make
you speak whether you do or not, and as no tory ever thinks it
worth while to attend our meetings, you may rest assured that
nobody would peach. Now, I think, if you will but attend to
these points and be a little more humble withal, that you will
be elected a magistrate by the time your fingers are all of a
length—that is as I said before, if you can only sink the ballot
box.
1 am concerned to see you looking so haggard and care-worn,
I think if you were to retire for a few months—or go somewhere
to imbibe chalybeate, it might restore the colour to your cheeks.
and disperse some of your anxious looks—do consult our friend
Blackburn. Perhaps if you were to lie in bed for a few days
take a little opening medicine, (not the Russell purge, that's a
quack mixture), put your feet in warm water, and swallow
some sudorifics, it might do you good—you really are looking
fagged, and no wonder. There is little news stirring—our
friend Evans was knighted the other day, and is shortly to go
to the Upper House as Viscount Irun. Our friend Dau is fast
going the way of all demagogues. I fancy the fellow never was
himself an O'Connellite. The easterly winds have prevented
many arrivals. Irish wheat about Bs. 3d. Oatmeal, 235., a
little bonded Wheat has changed hands. Beans are sta-
tionary. I know you like a little news, and how the markets