The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1853-12-27 00:00:00

EXTRACTS FROM PUNCH'S ALMANACK.

A CRZONBTING PAILADOX.—ABy eleven can make a
score.

Why do we know that Cleopatra did not wear pockets ?
Because sbe put her wiper in her, bosom.
Porn DIGNITY.--Stand na sauce from any servant
but your cook.

YIN? TO THE HOOKED.—It you desire to be released'
from a rash promise of marriage, breathe vows of love con.
tintrally after eating onions.

QUALIFICATION POR LAD•Y'S GROOM.—As bridegroom,
a young man is preferred wha has no character to prodUce
from any last place.
FALLACY OF APPEARANCES.—At the richest dessert,
after the most sumptuous dinner, it may be often observed
that the fattest and jolliest-looking men are given to pine.

LEGAL.—The proverb. says, "A fool keeps Ma own
counsel ;" and Brieflesa says, " He only wishes some fool
would keep him."

NATURAL HISTORY FOR BOARDING SCIPOOLS..—A
young lady who had heard that there were cygnets in the
Thames went up to Richmond in a steamer, expecting to
see some seals.
THE FINISHING TOUCH TO A PICTUEB.—Artist :
"Now, don't hesitate to say if yon see anything I can
alter or improve. Candid Friend :"Hm ! Well ! No!
I don't see anything—unless, perhaps, yon-a might repaint
the principal figures, and—l—yes—l should certainly get
a new background in."

QUERIES TO WIEICIT WE PAUSE FOR A REPLY.—Is
any account of the dome of St. Paul's to be found in the
Domesday Book at the British Museum ?—lf " Day
breaks," as the almanacks prophesy, will that affect him-
self only, or will the bankruptcy extend to the firm of
" Day and Martin ?"

How TO PLOT OUT AN EVENING PARTY.—Sift card-
rack for most respectable acquaintances. Frame invita-
tions with lace borders. Sweep drawing-room quite clean,
and shoot rubbish into back bedroom. Map out an arti-
ficial parterre on floor with chalk. Sow seed for seedcake.
Gather mustard for sandwiches. Beat about the bush for
gooseberries, and put them in bottles, to come up as
champagne. Order in old man from greengrocer's, and
put Berlin bags on his hands for gloves. Buy slip for
new dress, and gather flowers in the Burlington Arcade
for your hair. Put the young twigs in their beds, but
the elderly plants stick in library with cards. Lay traps
for rich young men. Plant your company in rows and
couples, and set musicians in full blow in corner of draw-
ing-room. When they are a little faint, water them with
sherry. Hang wallflowers round the room. Dig for com-
pliments, and run up a flirtation wherever you can fasten
one. Above all, nail a husband, or else your plot will be
without its greatest ornament and centre.

Pop GOES THE Quzsrto. --:-"".l3opgoes the question"
has often led people a pretty dance. It has been a pop
that has always been exceedingly popular, and is revived
from time tcOtime as much from necessity as fashion.
The step is a very decided one; but though usually re-
garded as difficult, yet a little boldness and address is all
that is required to make the gentleman a rapid proficient.
The steps are taken as follows :—Gentleman advances and
bows to lady ;
chasse to lady's side ; hands across ; ba-
lancez, and set (on a chair). Lady (makes) advances,
-"d *P' '-to herself lows

and retreats (into —_
); gentleman follows (up his
advantage), and balancez (on the chair) ; lady's chain (of
endearments) ; cavalier suel; set (to work) right and left
(with small talk); heads round (with excitement) ; down
• and up again. (with prepared speeches) ; gen-

- -
tleman takes lady's hand ; lady `withdraws it ; poussettt
right and left ; hands across ; gentleman drops on one
knee, and turns the lady (to his purpose) ; grand round
(of arm about the waist). Pop goes the question ! This
step is generally concluded by the figures joining hands,
and uniting in a ring. The 11344 finale to the step is
childish in the extreme.

ORIGINAL CORRESPONDENCE.

THE REV. E. GIRDLESTONE AND THE

NATIONAL SOCIETY.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE LIVERPOOL STANDARD.
SlR,—Can you oblige me by finding space for a letter,
which closes my correspondence with the Rev. Edward
Girdlestone (as given in your paper of the 29th ultimo) ?

Your obedient servant, .
FREDERICK S. WARREN.
Sanctuary, Westminster, Dec. 21st, 1853.

REV. SlR,—The distinction which you seek to establish

in your letter to me of the 21st of November, between
persons and practices, is quite untenable. A person can-
not be engaged in dishonest practices and remain an
honest man ; as little can a man, day by day, and week by
week, join and take part in " Romish mummeries " with-
out Ilimself being a " mummer." You have taken on
yourself, both in speaking and writing, rudely to attack
and censure the way in which other Christians think fit to
praise their Maker, and have called the sacred services of St.
Mark's College Chapel, a "Romish 'Mummery." I would that
even now you might consider and retract the uncharitable
words. With more consistency might you then, in your
appointed place, stand up on onr approaching Christmas
festival, and preach " Peace on earth, goodwill to men ;"
but if not, at least be bold, and do not shrink from the
full responsibility of your words.
Secondly,—l maintain that the simple statement of the
Society's income never having exceeded £9,000 or £lO,OOO
appears, in one shape or another, in almost every speech
you have made.

I go to the acknowledged report of the meeting at
Willis's-rooms, in May last, and find you saying,—" And
this brings me, my lord, (you are addressing the chair-
man,) naturally to enquire why the income of the National
Society has been stopped at so paltry a sum as £10,000;
why the charity of the whole Church of England in the
stream of education is limited to a sum which we find a
common amount of income even amongst the country
gentlemen of England P"

- You have, in that one sentence—to depreciate and make
light of the efforts of the National Society—represented
one of its funds as the whole income, and been guilty of a
more palpable fallacy still, in alluding to such income as
the sole charity of the Church in the matter of education,
And once again, in your letter to me, you quote from the
Society's last report an item of £10,764, received up to
May last, on account of the present Queen's letter fund,
and exclaim,—" See what want of confidence,—£lo,ooo
instead of the usual 227,000." Now, you might easily
have known that the £lO,OOO represented but the begin-
ning of the collection, which already doubles that amount,
and is not yet complete. How could you seek to lead
your readers to believe that the £TO,OOO would form the
great bulk of the collection ?

Thirdly,—Ton brought a deliberate charge of "Sunday
cricket-playing" against St. Mark's. On the word of the
College authorities, I gave a distinct denial to your charge,
and proved, moreover, that even the anonymous pamphlet
to which you referred me as your source- of information,
did not so much as mention " cricket." Toss now bring a
charge of " Sunday leap-frog and other similar pastimes,"
which you say mayfairly be supposed to " inniude cricket."
I am obliged, in the• cause of truth, to tell you that your
new charge has no Better foundation to rest on than your
former one. The Principal of the College simply declares
that Sunday games, 3r pastimes of any description, are
unknown at the College--

I avail myself of tins opportunity of specifyiv one or
two other statements which of late have been' freely cir-
culated in certain quarters. It is said that the committee
of the National Society have been contending litith the
Privy Council for a scheme of exclusive clerical manage-
snent fatal to the legitimate influence of the laity; but
while the whole correspond'esce has been open toall, no
sentence has ever been named or pointed out whicliteonld
be tortured into the assertion: or recommendation of such
a principle. On the other hand, it is plain, from each
letter, (and any person who wig take the trouble tolread
the correspondence may satisfy himself of the correctness
of what I say,) that the sole• object of the committee
throughout has been to procurejor promoters of schools,
the liberty of settling the management on that basis
which seemed best to them.

Much also has been said of a supposed intention of the
Society to impose some new interpretation of their "terms
of union," which should hamper managers of schools
dealing with children unbaptised, or children of Dissen,-
ters.l: and this fabrication is indizstriously circulatedl.
whilthe recent declaration of the- committee, " That it
has-been their principle and practice;.from the beginning„.
to abstain from any attempts to controul those who hadi
the xnanagement of schools," is freshifrom the secretary's-
pen. Other charges, such as the indignities said to have-
been offered to his Grace the President ; the alleged pre—
dominance of Archdeacon Denison in the Society's councils;:
the misrepresentations connected with the appointment
of Mr. Daymond to a mastership at St. Mark's College, &c.,
I have.nrore fully dealt with in two published letters to
the Rev. William Pollock.* My sole object in those let-
ters has4been to satisfy the friends of the society that the.
charges against it which, during the past summer, have
been matter of platform declamation inrmany parts of the
country,. may be satisfactorily and etahly disproved.—l
have thelionour"to remain, your obedient sery ant,

FREDERICK WARREN.
Rev.
Edkanl Girdlestone.

* Two Letters to the Rev. Wm. Pollock. By Frederick S.
Warren. Dondon: J. Whitaker, 41, Pall-mall. Liverpool
Deighton and Laughton ; Webb and Hunt.

LTFE IN AUSTRAKEA

rcoccssttj
Mt Lin the colony,