The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1838-09-14 00:00:00

TATTERSALL'S, MONDAY.

In the attendance this afternoon there was a marked im-
provement, and business, comparatively speaking, was tolera-
bly interesting. lon bad many friends, and at one time was
booked as low as 20 to 9. The Alzira and Lanercost parties,
however, came out in such force that he lost a little ground,
the closing prices being 9to 4 (takers of sto 2.) Iwo or
three persons laid 5 to 1 against Don John, but the takers
were plentiful, and the "old stagers" offered only 4 to 1.
Cobham was backed at 10 to 1 in good quarters, and a rouleau
was laid out on Pucelle at 16 to 1, her final price being three
points less. The "gallant Grey" and Albemarle were not
in favour, and Appleton Lad had received a knock down
blow. Saintfoin, who made his appearance on Thursday
last, rose to 20 to 1 (or takers of 22 to 1.) The general odds
at the close were:—

9 to 4 against Col. Peel's lon. (t 5 to 2)
4to 1 „ Lord Chesterfield's Don John. (t sto 1)
7to 1 „ Mr. Parkin's Lanercost. (t 15 to 2)
9to 1 „ Duke of Cleveland's Alzira. (t)
10 to 1 „ Mr. H. Coombes's Cobham, (t)
13 to 1 „ Duke of Cleveland's Pucelle. (t 14 to 1)
14 to 1 „ Lord G. Bentinck's Grey Momus. (off)
20 to 1 „ Mr. Thornhill's Sainifoin. (off)
30 to 1 „ Mr. Bowes's Appleton Lad. (t)
50 to 1 „ Mr. Fowler's Gilbert Gurney. (off)
1000 to 15 „ Mr. Bowes's The Jagger. (t)
125 to 50 „ Don John and Lanercost.

LIVERPOOL HURDLE RACES.—The day fixed for this
Itmeeting is Monday, Oct. 8, when two Hurdle Sweepstakes
pd a Handicap Race are to be contended for. The first
size is 50 soya. added to a subscription of 15 soya. each,
soya. it.; two miles—to be run over hurdles. The
second race is of the same character, but for a less amount;
the subscription being only 7 sovs. each, with 20 sovs. added
—once round and a distance. Tho last is a Handicap Stakes,
of 10 sovs. each, with 50 sovs. added, the winner to be sold
for 150 sovs., and will be run for in the legitimate way—that
is, minus the hurdles. The conditions are, to close and name
on the last day of the Heaton Park Meeting. The promoters
of this annual treat to the sporting world are sanguine of an
excellent muster of sound nags, and, we are certain, no ef-
forts will be spared by them to accomplish that object. Lord
Molyneux honours the meeting by his stewardship, and Mr.
Lynn appears in the capacity of secretary. We hope a good
attendance will be the crowning result.

TURF APPOINTMENTS FOR 1838.
SEPTEMBER. OCTOBER.
Doncaster..
Isle of Thanet l9 Northallerton
Heaton Park
Walsall 26 Caledonian Iluot
Lincoln. 27 Stafford 9
n( I 0 II i. El. Welchpool
Newmarket
Wrexham 2 Hol)well Hunt
Chesterfield 3 Newmarket

JONATHANIANA.

(Neat as impoiteci—by last arrivals.)

SUMMER FASHIONS.—A slight squint over the left eye—
ditto, curl of the lower lip. Right hand in the opening of
the vest—thumb and forefinger delicately dallying with the
watch-guard.—Hat slantingdicular to the right, standing
enrner of a yellow ban-
dana just showing itself at the left temple. winsKers tong
and biforked; ear-locks, half-way down the cheek, and tips
tucking in. A light cane may be carried under the arm for
flonrisbing when a dun is visible. Teeth, clean and white,
for grinning when a lady is met. N.B.—Carry a pocket of
pulverized pumice always with you, to fling in the eyes of the
tailors' boys, if there is no other way of getting clear of 'em.

APROPOS OF THE AnovE.—The Vice Queen of Canada,
(My Lidy Durham,) like Queen Victoria of England, has
issued an anathema against the old and bold black cravat,
and an order that none of her loving subjects shall appear
before her, upon pain of her high displeasure, otherwise than
with their necks enveloped in while napery—that is to say,
as the old song says—" with a yard or two of towelling
wrapp'd round about their necks fast."

VERY EXTRAORDINARY.--A young lady, intending to sue
for a breach of promise, put her lover's billets doux into a bag,
for theipurpose of producing them in court; when sad to tell,
their own natural warmth produced spontaneous combustion,
and, when the bag was opened, there was nothing in it but
ashes.

A SUFFICING REASON.—Colonel Dunlop, of the Huron
and St. Clair militia, has published a letter complaining bit-
terly of certain commissariat officers, whom he charges with
arrogance, and neglect of duty; but he exonerates them
from all disrespect to himself personally—because, as he
says, he is "six feet high and proportionably broad across
the shoulders."

DRAINING, DRINKING AND DUELLING.—Messrs. Thane
arid Drinkins, of Madison Co. Ms., men of high courage
and standing, fought a dual last Monday with double-bar-
relled guns, and both were killed. Good bye Messrs. Drane
and Drinkins!
MORE ABSENCE.—An actor at the Bowery in New York
one night lately appeared for the first time in Othello, but
by some strange tit of absence he had studied the Fourth
Book of Euclid instead of the play, and stranger, still, no-
body found it out until he set about persuading poor Desde-
mona that she was an isosceles triangle.
THE SUBLIME AND RIDICULOUS.—" Woman is most
beautiful when in tears—like a rose wet with the chrystal
dew."—Mobile Examiner. "We suppose the editor of the
Examiner whips his wife every Sunday, to make her look
beautiful."—Baltimore Sun. "Does the wife of the editor of
the Sun whip him •to make him beautiful o' Sundays?' By
the following from the Sun of Friday, we suppose the editor
a real woman hater—a being, we had hoped, no longer ex-
isting in this country:—" A young woman, it is said, died in
Connecticut of the typhus fever, in consequince of kissing a
young man who was ill of the complaint. Don't believe it;
the girl recovered of the kiss; the man it was who died.'
Shame ! There is a spot on the Sun. We hope he will
never be kissed by a lady as long as be lives, and that is the
worst punishment that will befall him."—New York Whig.
WANTS.—This is a wanting world, and these are wanting
times. Some want a new governor and some want the old
one: some want the new market house on the public square,
and some want it away from there; but for our own part we
(Erie Gazette) want our pay from all those who owe us any;
and want will compel us to call upon 'em particular if they
don't call and settle soon.—That's a fact.

QUEER MISTAKE.—One of our exchange papers has got a
totally queer blunder, for which the printer ought to be well
scrubbed down.—The caption line "THROUGH BY DAY-
LIGHT," which ought to have been at the head of a steam-
boat advertisement, is stuck over the head of Braudreth's
Pills.

ANSWER TO BOND'S SPEECH.—The only answer we have
as yet seen attempted to this unanswerable speech is the fol-
lowing official answer from the editor of the Washington
Globe, who, it is pretty well agreed, is the ugliest-looking
man in the world :—" Mr. Bond is the very make of a great
bull frog. His rotundity of body is tagged round with sprad-
ling legs—half length arms—projecting snout and eyes—the
very creature to bellow blood-and-ouns."
HORTICULTURE.—" If you throw up a pumpkin it will
come down squash,' is one of the wisest of sayings, and re-
minds us that the Boston Courier has a 'cute column or two
once a-week upon these matters; and we wish we could fol-
low the example. Perhaps we may, by and by.
Assistant Alderman Crolius, why don't You cause the in-
tolerable nuisances existing in the streets intersecting Cen-
tre-street to be removed ? Your alderman and street inspec-
tor are not to be depended upon. We look to you. See to it.
Brower has brought out a new-fashioned vis-d-ris reversed,
upon two wheels, admirably calculated to soil ladies' dresses
by throwing mud over them. It is a capital invention for
" the trade," and cannot fail to drive a great deal of business
in the dry goods line.
Murders are on the increase.
Good bacon barns are scarce. Inferior legs are on the rise.
Middlings are rarely to be met with.
Nineteen persons drowned in one boatat Little Falls, New
Brunswick. Nineteen persons have no business in one boat.
What could they expect?
Mr. Rasoo killed his wife at Newstead, N. Y., by driving
her in a carriage. He broke her neck three weeks after
marriage.
Hail, rain, thunder, and lightning, have been running all
over the country like wildfire.
We are told that Placide was not at John Clarke's funeral.
We cannot believe it, if he was in the city. We should like
to be informed fully on this head.
Marble had a good benefit.
Bathe often !

Remember the Bedouins at the Park to-night! Nothing
like them, except the giraffes.
Keep cool !
Keep sober!
Talk little !
Eat less!

***—lt is impossible to say what the readers of news-
papers expect of those who make them during this bot wea-
ther; but this we do know, if they expect much, newspaper
readers are a more unreasonable class of people than we have
always taken them to be. T. expect the editor of a daily
journal to furnish long articles, or indeed articles of any sort,
under such an atmosphere as is now roasting folks to death,
is to expect ice out of the ashes of a furnace in full blast, or
to require people to gather snowballs from a hot oven. How,
in the name of fervent heat, can people be expected to write,
or even think, in such weather? Politics would melt in a
man's mouth, and, as for dissertatiats on other subjects, the
matter is not to be mentioned ! Statistics would all run
together like so many sperm candles in the sun, and as to
dreadful accidents they would pass unheeded. What would
be the use even of a steam-boat explosion ? Nobody would
spare a particle of sympathy for so humdrum an occurrence,
while they are themselves broiling into overdone steaks.
The truth is, the weather is so hot you can see it, and we
don't know that we are called, upon, under such circum-
stances, to be adding to the density of the caloric by any
hot-headedness of our own. Let every virtuous citizen drink
ice-water if he can get it, and not expect any thing so unrea-
sonable as a readable article in a newspaper.