The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1853-08-16 00:00:00

ms of the machinery of

nd assumption in-a n
are say, met with in

aner not

nfreq-uently, w
int here also,.a!

.eal life
numerous instances in real life

se of " diamondrut

diamond,"
The

intended biter is regularly •bitten
I baron is no baron at all ; and, of course

:he speculating Dodds are upset in the execution
)f their own. scheme, reflecting very harshly, ho
;ver, upon the object of their des

is, because he

proved a more direct impostor than they en-
deavoured to render themselves.. The narrative of
this misadventure is told with all the. racy vivacity
and luscious humour for which Lever's stories are
remarkable.; .but the following letter• will be gene-
_

rally -admitted as peculiarly graphic, quaint, and
sly, and probably will by many be -considered not
only one of the best things written by Lever,
but as entitled to take rank with the very best
specimens of this class of literature which has yet

been penned. .It so thoroughly explains itself as
to require.neither preface nor introduction, so we
shall offer no farther observation, but content our-
selves with ;bespeaking our readers' attention to
the letter of

BETTY COBB :TO MSS,

SIIUSAN O'fillEA, PRIEST'S ROUSE,

BRIJFF

Who knows

I ever see Dods-

ltit would bea 1

you didn't, and so many there that's fond of you."
" I don't believe it," says she,
_Sharp. " I don't believe

Who does ?

says I, mockin;

can•ye tell me even one ?'

" Sure there's Miss Davis,", says I, " and the Kellys,
and there's Miss Kitty 'Doolan, and ould Molly, not to
spake of Dr. Bel-"

" There, do not speak of him," says she, getting red ;
" the very names of the people make me shudder. I hope
I'll never see one of them."
Now, Shusan., dear, I told you all that's in my mind, and
hope you'll write to me the same. If you could send me
the grey cloak with the,blualinin', and the Bayver bonnet
I wore last winter two years, they'd be useful to me here,
and you could tell the neighbours that it was new clothes
veddin'. Be sure ye tell me
rev. him for me, with my
won't-take to drink, and desthrov

you were sending me for nil,
how Sam Healey bears it
regards, that I hope
his constitution

You can write to me still as before, to your attached and
true friend, BETTY COBB.

iRTETIES

DEsrrnint.—lt was stated-in Syracuse, the other day,
that one of the candidates for office had employed a man
for three days up in the •cemetery, copying names off the
tombstones for his petition.
IF a speculator misses 'his aim, everybody cries out,
"he's a fool," and sometimes, "he's a rogue." If he
succeeds, they besiege his door and demand his daughter
in marriage.

WHAT is WEDLOCK ?—Miss Lucy Stone, of Boston,
" woman's rights" woman, having put the question—

Marriage—what is it ?" an Irish echo in
Wouldn't you like to know ?"

`on Pos

in quirt

bIE 110311 N Ancic.—A recent discovery of an arched
tunnel under the pool of Solomon, used to conduct a spring
of water for the use of Jerusalem, proves that the true
Roman arch, with a perfect key-stone, was well known to
the architects in the reign of Ring Solomon.

GOOD FOB, THE EYES.—To give brilliancy to the eyes,
shut them early at night and ,open them early in the
morning ; let the mind be constantly intent on the acqui-
sition of human knowledge, or on the exercise of benevo-
lent feelings. This will scarcely ever fail to impart to the
eyes an intelligent and amiable expression.
A WITNESS examined the other day before the Hull
bribery commission, said that during the election, the
weather being hot, fifteen men on his side applied to him
for something to drink. "I sent for a list of them, and
wrote below--` Al'Murran (the landlord) give these men
one pint of ale each, for which I will be responsible :' the
one was afterwards altered into a four.—(Loud laughter.)

VOLTAIRE AND PIRON had been to pass some time at
a country seat. One day Piron wrote on Voltaire's apart-
ment, " Rogue." As soon as Voltaire saw it, he pro-
ceeded at once to Piron's, who said to What chance
procures me the pleasure of seeing you ?" "Sir, (answered
Voltaire,) I saw your name over my door, and I have
come to return the visit."

A LITERAL JOKER.—The Bishop of Oxford having
sent round to the churchwardens in his diocese a circular
of inquiries, among which was :--" Does your officiating
clergyman preach the gospel, and is his conversation and
carriage consistent therewith ?" the churchwarden near
Wallingford replied :—" He preaches the gospel, but does
not keep a carriage."—Aylesbury News,
BOYS AND GiuLs.—The first thing a boy does after he
is weaned is to straddle the banisters and ride down stairs.
The first thing a girl sets her heart on is a doll and a set
of diminutive cups and saucers. The girls are given to
neatness, and hate soiled garments of all kinds ; boys, on
the contrary, set a high value on dirt, and are never so
happy as when sailing a log ship, with a brown paper sail,
in a mud puddle.
AFFECTION FOR STOCK-DOVES.—I quoted his (Words-
worth's) own beautiful address to the stock-dove. He said
once, in a wood, Mrs. Wordsworth and a lady were walk-
ing, when the stock-dove was cooing. A farmer's wife
coming by said to herself, " Oh, I do like stock-doves."
Mrs. Wordsworth, in all her enthusiasm for Wordsworth's
poetry, took the old woman to her heart ; " But," con-
tinued the old woman, " some like them in a pie ; for my
part, there's nothing like 'em stewed in onions."—Hay-
don's Memoirs.

A GRADUATED REVOLUTION.—When Napoleon escaped
from Elba and returned to France,the Moniteurannounced
the event as follows :—First announcement " March,
1815. The monster has escaped from the place of his
banishment ; he has run away from Elba." Second.—
" The Corsican dragon (l'Oger) has landed at Cape Juan."
Third.—" The tiger has shewn himself at Gap. The troops
are advancing on all sides to arrest his progress. He will
conclude his miserable adventure by becoming a wanderer
among the mountains ; he cannot possibly escape."
Fourth.—" The monster has really advanced as far as
Grenoble—we know not to what treachery to ascribe it."
Fifth.—" The Tyrant is actually at Lyons. Fear and
terror seized all at his appearance. Sixth.—" The usurper
has ventured to approach the capital to within sixty hours'
march." Seventh.—" Bonaparte is advancing by forced
marches—but it is impossible he can reach Paris."
Eighth.—" Napoleon will arrive under the walls of Paris
to-morrow." Ninth.—" The Emperor Napoleon is .at
Fontainebleau." Tenth.—" Yesterday evening his ma-
jesty the Emperor made his public entry, and arrived at
the Tuileries—nothing can exceed the universal joy !"
IRISHMEN v. " NIGGERS."—A New York farmer, tra-
velling " down south," met a peasant, with whom he
entered into the following dialogue " Are you a farmer?"
" Yes, what are you ?" "lam a • farmer, too." "Be ye—
to New York ?" " Yes ; how much land have you got ?"
" A hundred and twenty-five acres ; how much have
you ?" " Just about the same. What's your land worth
here ?" " Some on't, what we call swamp-land, kinder
low and wet like, ye know, that's worth five dollars an
acre; and, mainly, it's worth a dollar-and-a-half or two
dollars, that's takin' a common trac' of upland. What's
yours ?" " A hundred and fifty to two hundred."
" Dollars !" " Yes." " Good Lord ! yer might as well
buy niggers at onst. Do you work any niggers ?" "No."
" May be they don't have niggers, that is slaves, to New
York." " No, we do not. It's against the law." " Yes,
I heerd 'twas, some place. How do yer get yer work done?"
" I hire Irishmen." "Do they work good ?" " Yes, a
great deal better than negroes, I think, and don't cost
nearly so much." " What do yer have to give ?" " I pay
them eight or nine dollars a month, and board them ; don't
clothe them, or anything more." " Why, Lord ! yer can't
get any kind of a good nigger for less 'n twelve dollar a
month." " And board them ?" " Yes, and clothe, and
blank, and shoe 'em !"—Travelling in South Carolina.
GIPSIES IN THE UNITED STATES.—It has been gene-
rally supposed that gipsies were unknown in the United
States until their recent advent into New Jergey and
Virginia; but a correspondent of the Philadelphia Ga-
zette, of Bangor, writes that they have been known in
New Hampshire, Maine, and ➢iassachusets for nearly one
hundred years. According to tradition, they were brought
from England to Portsmouth, N.H., by a gentleman, who
endeavoured to train them as household servants. He
failed in the attempt, and his gipsies afterwards betook
themselves to the barren and inhospitable plains of the
new town of Barrington, some twenty miles northwest
from Portsmouth, where they and their descendants have
resided in hovels, issuing forth, from time to time, among
the people of New Hampshire, and the borders of Massa-
chusets and Maine, disposing of baskets and other articles
of manufactures, telling fortunes, &c. They are to-day
but little in advance, in point of civilization and the de-
cencies of life, of those who have, within a year or two,
emigrated to Maryland, New Jersey, &c., though their
blood is less unmixed with that of the Yankees. All
efforts to reclaim them from their wandering life have
proved futile ; hence they are permitted to follow the bent
of their inclinations, without let or hindrance, unless they
commit some heinous offence. American paper.

RUSSIAN TRoors.—l was present on several occasions
when their regiment of lancers, eight battalions of infantry,
and a park of artillery were brigaded. They went admir-
ably through that most difficult of all manoeuvres, advanc-
ing in line ; but they were all old soldiers ; their cavalry
horses were lean, large, and heavy-looking brutes. The
lancers made a poor show ; the artillery better, but
wretchedly slow ; the infantry pleased me very much,
until they commenced their light drill, when I could
hardly believe my eyes. No one seemed to be aware of
the first principles of skirmishing, from the general down
to the private, for battalion after battalion was allowed to
go on in the same way without a single remark ; the two
ranks of each file made no attempt to cover each other in
advancing and retiring ; in fact, they generally moved
together; they fired, and stood to be fired at, instead of
discharging their shot when they were about to move ;
and then they halted to load, and that anywhere. Our
Rifle Brigade would make short work of such skirmishers ;
every one of them would be picked off as ,soon as they
extended. The Russian troops are not nearly so well
clothed as those of the regular Turkish army ; their heavy
green coats are so much more cumbersome than the light
jacket ; their cross-belts are longer and not so well put on,
the pouch being thus apt to rattle when they are at double
time ; and the helmets, though better for defence, are
clumsy and much more fatiguing to wear than the fez. I
saw the barracks of a Russian regiment, too. Such a den
of filth I never saw ; an offensive odour of melted tallow
candles, used as sauce for sour black bread, in the absence
of their much loved train oil ; and damp straw strewn
about for the miserable-looking, cowed, half-famished
warriors to sleep upon.—Skene's Frontier Lands of the
Christian and Turk.
AGED MiNisrEns.—Your minister is " superannuated,"
is he ? Well, call a parish meeting, and vote him a dis-
mission ; hint that his usefulness is gone ; that he is given
to repetition ; that he puts his hearers to sleep. 'Turn
him adrift like a blind horse, or a lame house-dog. Never
mind that he has grown grey in your thankless service—
that he has smiled on your infants at the baptismal font,
given them lovingly away in marriage to their hearts'
chosen ; and wept with you when death's shadow darkened
your doors. Never mind that he has laid aside his pen,
and listened many a time and oft, with courteous grace,
to your tedious, prosy conversations, when his moments
were like gold dust ; never mind that he has patiently
and uncomplainingly accepted at your hands, the smallest
pittance that would sustain life, because "the Master"
whispered in his ear " tarry here till I come." Never
mind that the wife of his youth, whom he won from a
home of luxury, is broken down with privation and fatigue,
and your thousand unnecessary demands on her strength,
patience, and time. Never mind that his children, at an
early age, were exiled from the parsonage roof, because
there was not " bread enough and to spare," in their father's
house. Never mind that his library consists only of a
Bible and a concordance, and a dictionary : and that to
the luxury of a religious newspaper he has been long years
a stranger. Never mind that his wardrobe would be
spurned by many a mechanic in our cities ; never mind
that he has " risen early and sat up late," and tilled the
ground with weary limbs, for earthly " manna," while his
glorious intellect lay in fetters for you ! Never mind all
that—call a parish meeting and vote him " superannuated?'
Don't spare him the starting tear of sensibility, or the
flush of wounded pride, by delicately offering to settle a
colleague, that your aged pastor may rest on his staff in
grateful, grey-haired independence. No ! turn the old
Patriarch out; give him time to go to the moss-grown
ehurch-yand, and say farewell to his unconscious dead, and.
then—give •`slt4he right hand of fellowship" to some beard-
less, Pedantic, noisy college boy, who will save your sexton
the trouble,of pounding the pulpit cushions ; and who will
you and Uie Almigitty, in his prayers, all the POlitiCai
WU of tho wake—Fanny Fern.

IMPORTANT TO MANIIPACTURERS.—The machinery of
a cotton-mill in general goes like clock-work, but this is
not the case when the hands strike.

A WORD SPOKEN PLEASANTLY is a large spot of sun-
shine on the sad heart—and who has not seen its effects ?
A smile is like the bursting out of the sun from behind a
cloud to him who thinks he has no friend in the world.
WARTIL—Dr. Peez, of Wiesbaden, confirms the state-
ment made by several German practitioners, of the rapid
curative agency which attends the internal use of carbo-
nate of magnesia in cases of warts.

A LEGAL Jon E.—" Well, George," asked a friend of a
young lawyer, who had been " admitted" about a year,
how do you like your new profession ?" The reply was
accompanied by a brief sigh to suit the occasion—" My
profession is much better than my practice."
A YOUNG LADY of extraordinary intellectual capacity
recently addressed the following letter to her cousin, in a
neighbouring village :—" Deer Kussin, the weather wha
we is air kold and I suppose whar you is air kolder we awl
is well and mutther has gott the his Terricks and bruther
Tom has gott the huppin Koff and Sister Susin has gott
a Baby and I hoap these fu lines will find you in the same
condition rite sune your aphecshunate Kussin."
A STOICAL PRoßLEm.—There was a famous problem
among the Stoics, which ran thus :—" When a man says
' I lie,' does he.lie, or does he not ? If he lie, he speaks
the truth ; if he speaks the truth he lies." Many were
the profound works written on this wonderful problem.
Chrysippus favoured the world with no less than six ; and
Philetus studied himself to death in his vain attempt to
solve it.

CHINESE SAYINGS.—Some of the ordinary expressions
of the Chinese are sarcastic enough. A blustering harm-
less fellow they call " a paper tiger." When a man values
himself overmuch they compare him to a "rat falling
into a scale and weighing itself." Overdoing a thing
they call "a hunchback making a bow." A spendthrift
they compare to a rocket which goes off at once. Those
who expend their charity on remote objects, but neglect
their family, are said "to hang their lantern on a pole,
which is seen afar, but gives no light below."
TIIE ICE-BLINK IN THE POLAR SEAS.—The fields,
and other collections of floating ice, are often discovered
at a great distance by that singular appearance on the
verge of the horizon, which the Dutch seamen have termed
ice-blink. It is a stratum of lucid whiteness, occasioned
evidently by the glare of light reflected obliquely from the
surface of the ice against the opposite atmosphere. This
shining streak, which looks always brightest in clear
weather, indicates, to the experienced navigator, twenty
or thirty miles beyond the limit of direct vision, not only
the extent and figure but even the quality of the ice. The
blink from packs of ice appears of a pure white, while
that which is occasioned by snow-fields has some tinge of
yellow.—The Polar Seas.

SINGULAR COINCIDENCES.—We frequently see a para-
graph in the papers headed " Singular Coincidences,"
which upon perusal fails as often as not to furnish us with
the most remote connection of subject. In order, there-
fore, that our readers may judge of what we consider a
coincidence, we beg to present them with the following :
—The occupant of a house happening to have stepped out
just two minutes before the tax-collector called for the
rates.—A tailor having a large bill to meet on the very
day that he requests payment of your small account.—
A friend, of whom you wish to borrow £5, happening,
strangely enough, to be in want of the same sum himself.
—A female hailing a Chelsea omhibus when she actually
wants to go there.—And a relative in the country, whom
you propose sojourning with next week, being unable to
accommodate you, owing to an expected visit from an old
maiden aunt at the very same period.—Diogenes.
A FEW ComPrimmers.—As I was proceeding towards
the police-office, I met, under the piazza opposite the
cathedral, a lady, whose face immediately made me forget
my errand. She was so fair and beautiful, I took her to
be a daughter of the North, and could not resist the
temptation to speak to her. So, stepping forward, and
taking off my hat in the politest manner imaginable, I
inquired, in English, the way to the police-office. " Non
capisco, Signore," was her reply. I then apologised for
addressing her in a foreign language, but said—" I have
mistaken you for an Englishwoman, you are so extremely
beautiful." "And are the English women so extremely
beautiful ?" inquired she. • " You may judge," said I,
" since they are like you." " I suppose they flatter a great
deal in England," observed she with a smile, "and you
have probably learned the art there." " Nay, it is in
your country that one learns to flatter; if, indeed, it be
flattering to speak the truth." " This is not my country,"
replied she, " I would it were I" " Then you are a French-
woman ?" She shook her head. " A Swiss ?" The same
dumb sign of negation. My curiosity was now excited.
" I trust you will pardon me, said I, but really lam
curious to know what country has had the happiness to
give birth to you." " I am an Austrian," she replied.
"Is it possible ?" was my involuntary exclamation. "If
you are surprised at that," said she, " you will be still more
surprised when I add that my feelings are all Italian."
This little dialogue took place in front of a shop, out of
which an officer soon came flourishing a new whip which
he had just been purchasing. He looked at me with
something like a scowl, and, saying a few words to her in
German, from the tone of which I could not doubt she
was his wife, walked off with her, though not before she
turned round and bowed to me twice.—" There and Back
Again," by A. J. St. John.

AMUSEMENTS OP THE Tunitisu WOMElT.—Nearly all
Turkish women sally out every Friday to take the air,
away from the town, on the banks of the Bosphorus, or
to some of the places! where water and shade may be
found. The wealthy go in • carts& without springs, of un-
wieldy and primitive construction, six or seven heaped
together, and sometimes their husbands lead the oxen or
horses to the chosen spot, and then go away, leaving the
women perfectly free to enjoy themselves as they please.
The most popular amusements are the singing and music
of the gipsy women, who repair thither for the pm-pose—
music which is amorously languid, and singing which is
detestably indecent. A lunch is generally brought out,
and, when this is despatched, smoking and drinking
commence—drinking not of sherbet, but of good brandy,
or other strong liquors, which soon induce a boisterous
gaiety, so that the sultanas, whom we often imagine as
pining imprisoned, may be seen rolling in convulsions of
inextinguishable laughter on the turf, or huddled up in a
still more advanced stage of intoxication, like bundles of
rags. Their Montenegrin servants, who are the privileged
beholders of these scenes, are often compelled to haul
them into their carts, in which they are jolted back to the
harem. Those who are not too far gone frequently pull
up passing through the Christian quarter, at the doors of
taverns, to got more drink, and a file of a hundred carts
may often be seen stopping in one street, all full of
women, some made bold and chattering by their excess,
others hanging sleepily about and murmuring to be taken
home. There is a walk planted with elm trees, not far
from the city, where only women are admitted. Two or
three thousand assemble there at a time, and, sitting upon
a verdant slope, enjoy the indescribable pantomime of a
comedy, which some infamous Jews, hired for the pur-
pose, perform on the limits of the forbidden ground for
their amusement. Europeans, of course, cannot enter the
walk itself, but they may see the crowds collected at a
distance, and hear the shrill applause which every act
more than usually beastly of the mountebanks creates in
the female crowd. On these occasions it would scarcely
be possible for a stranger to recognise eastern life from th
descriptions he is accustomed to read.—Bayle St. John.
PORTRAIT OP TIIE Crag.—He affects to imitate Napo-
leon in some things, and certainly as regards his inter-
ference, and personal direction of, everything, he is not
behind his prototype. His cabinet is a plain room, and
completely that of a nun of business ; he is never out of
uniform, and never lays aside his cocked hat and flowing
white panche, excepting he leaves the capital, when he
commanding form, he is of Herculean mould, and of an
cap. With the noblest and most
fatigue ; controlling and inspecting every department and
i'vevrsomtnarsmiscoanhslinittietltnuettihiofon:i regardless alike of bodily and mental
self,g'he seems possessed of the power of
übiquity. Perfectly. unattended, he is dashing through
the streets in a two-horse -droshky, or walking through
crowded thoroughfares, visiting
the dockyards, barracks,
hospitals, and other government establishments. He ar-
rives when least expected, and the consequence is, there
is no negligence or inattention ; but precision, military
precision, and uniformity prevail throughout. The very
passengers in the streets, and particularly the military,
who form a large portion of the crowd, must be on the
qui vive to salute the monarah as he passes, and this, with
the military, is a 'natter requiring some dexterity. At
Tsarkoe Selo, I had the fortune to meet the Emperor in
a retired garden, en neglige ; I say fortune, because,
demigod as he is, it is unusual to see him in mortal guise,
undistinguished by the trappings of royalty, and the proud
bearing and„ theatriaal deportment habitual to him. I
went at his side without recognising him in his loose
surtout and travelliag-cap, strolling along in contempla-
tion ; and it was not till our eyes met that I felt his pre-
sence--yes' felt is the, only applicable term ; for it is
impossible to withstand his eagle glance without an inde-
finable sensation of awe.—Thompson's Life in Russia.
SANITARY VIEW OF man BEARD AND MOUSTA.CTIE.—
They protect the opening cf the mouth, and filter the air
for a man working in smcke or dust of any kind; they
also act as a respirator, aid prevent the inhalation into
the lungs of air that is too frosty. Mr. Chadwick, years
ago, was led to the discussim of this subject, by observing
how in the case of some bhrksmiths who wore beards and
moustachios, the hair abou; the mouth was discoloured by
the iron dust that had been caught on its way into the
mouth and lungs. The sane observer has also pointed
out and applied to his argument the fact that travellers
wait, if necessary, until their moustachios have grown
before they brave the sandy air of deserts. He con-
ceives, therefore, that the absence of moustachios and
beard must involve a serious loss to labourers in dusty
trades, such as Tram and masons; to men employed in
grinding steel and km., and to travellers on dusty roads.
Men who retain the. lair about the mouth are also, he
says, much less liable to decay, or the teeth.
To this list we would add, also, that apartfrom the inces-
sant dust flying in own streets, and inseparable from
town life, there is thn smoke to be considered. Both dust
and smoke do get into the lungs, and only in a small
degree it is possible for them to be decomposed and
removed by processel of life. The air passages of a Man-
chester man, or of aresident in the City of London, if
opened after death, ate found to be more or less coloured
by the dirt that has leen breathed. Perhaps it does not
matter much ; but swely we had better not make dust-
holes or chimney funnels of our lungs. Beyond a certain
point this introductioi of mechanical impurity into the
delicate air passages does cause a morbid irritation, marked
disease, and prematurt death. We had better keep our
lungs clean altogether and for that reason men working
in cities would find it always worth while to retain the air
filter supplied to that by nature for the purpose—the
moustache, and bears around the mouth. Surely enough
has been here said to nake it evident that the Englishman
who, at the end of liii days, has spent about an entire year
of his life in scrapingoff his beard has worried himself to
no purpose, has submtted to a painful, vexatious, and not
merely useless, but actually unwholesome custom. He has
disfigured himself systematically throughout life, accepted
his share of unnecessary tic-doloreux, and toothache,
coughs and colds, has swallowed dust and inhaled smoke
and fog out of complahanc.e to the social prejudice which
happens just now to irevall. We all abominate the razor
while we use it, and vould gladly lay it down. Istow, if
we see clearly—and I think the fact is very clear—that
the use of it is a great blunder' and if we are no longer
such a slovenly peopD as to be afraid that, if we kept our
beards, we should net wash, or comb them, or trim them
in a decent way, why can we not put aside our morning
Plague, and irritate CUT skin no more tw we now do.--
Pic#4l NPUIChOki Word:.