The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1836-06-17 00:00:00

" Gwien down to shin-bone alley-"

. . _
The,hurthen " Ding time ago" was taken up by some one
,apparently in an adjacent coriv.field, which occasioned Quash
to prick up his ears with some surprise; he continued however,
with . .

, ..
• "Dab I Meet Olelolniny Glidden" `
And the same voice again responded from-the field
" Long time age-!""'," ' •
?` Who dat ?" said the astonish6d negro, checking suddenly
his horses and looking round on every side fur the cause of his
.
surprise.
" Oh, never mind; drive .ahead, snow-ball, it's some of your
master's spirits, I suppose."
Quail, in a very thoughtful Mood, led the 'way to the• `tavern
without uttering anotherwotrd. .Haltingi befora•the. door, the•
stranger was very soon waited upon by the obliging Mr. Lemon,
a bustling talkative gentleman,; who greeted his • customer
with , . : : - • • • ' - • : i: ,
" ' Light, sir, light,-ryiere, John !,Quash!—never mind your
Umbrella, sir,—liere, Quash, fake off that 'rug—give me your
whip; sir—take off'that 0-nllk—walk in, sir—John, take out that
chair box—come, sir—and carry -s horse to the stable—do you
prefer him to stand on a dirt fib r?
"If you please, sir ; he's rat particular about his lodg-
ings." ings." , .
" Carry him to the lower stable,. Quash, and tend to him
well--:•1 always like-to see horses well tended, and this is a noble
critter, too," continued the landlord,-slappiug him on the back.
" Take care, will you ?" said the horse.
" What; the d--1," exclaimed -thelandlordi starting-back. •
-'" Mow of your familiarity," said the horse, looking spitefully,
around at the astonished tavern keeper..
' " Silence, Belzebub," said the traveller, caressing the animal;'
and turning to the landlord, be observed—" You must excuse.
him, sir, he's rather an aristocratic horse—the effect of educatio.
sir." -
" He's the devil, sir.", • • . .
•
" Wo-hoa, 13elzebub ! loose the traces, Quash: what are you
staring at ? be won't eat you:"
" Come landlord,"_saill Belzebub, "I want my,oate.,'.!, •
Quash scattered—the landlord backed up into the porch, and
the traveller was fain to jump into' his vehicle and dri've round
in search of the stables. -himself., Having succeeded to his
satisfaction in, disposing of his horse, he returned to the tavern.
Anon supper came on—the eggs had' all- apparently-young
chickens in them—the landlord.was in confusiotkat suchaluorti-.
Eying circumstance, and promised the traveller amends. front a
cold pig—which, as be inserted the carving fork into %Uttered
a piercing squeal, which was responded to 'by a louder onh from:
i the landlady, Down went the knife and fork, and .the cold
perspiration began to grow in large beads upon the fcirehead of
the poor landlord as he stood lookingraarfully at thegrunter;
his, attention was soon taken, however, by voices from without,
callin g—
• " Hillba! house! landlord!" • .
"Aye, aye; coming, gentlemen—more travellers—do help
yourself, sir."
"Landlord!' - . • ' • - ' ' -' -
" Corning, gentlemen—here, John, a light---bring .a light to
the door—Sally, wait.on. the gentlernap,"--aud outthe landlord
bounced, folloived hy•John- with light 6; Imt sden,returned with
a look, of disappointment; he declared there was no living
being without. The, voices called again—and the landlord after
going out returned a second time. declaring his belief that the
whole.phintation was haunted-that night by evil-spirits. ,
The stranger presently arose from the table and drew his
chair to the fire, having made a Pretty hearty supper from the
eggs and young porker, their cries to the contrary notwith-
standing.
That night, rumour saith,- Mr. Billy Lemon slept 'with the
bible under his head, and kept a candle burning in his chamber
till morning ; and those who pass there, to this day, ‘ may upon
close examination discover the heels of old horse shoes peering
over the door casement,. as a bulwark against witches, hobgob-
blins, and all other evil spirits.,
Having ascertained the name of his guest, in the morning,
mine host proceeded to make out his bill—
' "Mr. J. S. KENWORTHY.
"To William Lemon, Dr. &c. &c."
This same Mr. Kenworthy, was recently a passenger on board
the steam-boat Columbia, from Norfolk to Washington City,
when a violent altercation took place in one of the berths,
between three or four different individuals, for precedence.
He is said to be something of a wag, and withal one of the
most accomplished Ventriloquists of the present day.

A PUZZLE FOR MALTHUS.

" From numbers and art,
-Never shall fame depart."

We beg particular attention to a most important document.
It is a petition presented to the House of Commons from the
citizens .of Belfast on the subject of municipal reform—and
signed (as we are assured by the honourable member) in the
space of an hour or two by no less than NINETY-SEVEN Thou-
s AND out of the Fifty-three Thousand, Two Hundred and Eighty-
seven Inhabitants which this flourishing city contains, according
to the last census of the population.
This is prodigious. Sharman Crawford is a most prolific
political economist. The " Parturient Patriot" has not been
fallow since the year '3O.
Let us next glance at the despatch of our northern. penman:
"In an hour or two" said Sharman. We will grant him two
hours full, and allow hiik half-a-minute for each signature. By
the ordinary Post-office time it would take 97,000 persons, at the
rate aforegoing, four .hundred and four' hours and a quarter, or
(working night and day) seventeen days,.wanting two hours
and three-quarters, to affix their marks, or whatever cypher.
they might choose, to the paper document; but by one of those
miracles of radicalism and march.of-intellect, which surpass all
previous calculations, we find the same task executed in two
hundred and twenty-four half minutes, and the incessant labour
of nearly three weeks condensed into the limited space of two
hours..—Dablin Mail. .
Why, Shakspeare was but a trifle to Sharman Crawford, of
whom alone it is true that—
" Panting Time tolls after him in vain."

• •
EPPECT OF WATER ON CAST-ritosi.--Some large brass and
cast-iron guns, which went, down with the "Royal George in
1782, are 'now lying in the Tower. The- brass ones are little
affected by: their lung immersion in the sea, but those of cast-
iron are-changed throughoot• their whole substance. . They 're-
semble plumbago or pencil lead, and,. like • itomaybe easily cut
with a.knife. Cast-iron pipes attached to a pumping apparatus,+
in a mine 140 fathoms. deep, in the north-of-England, have been
so softened in five years, as scarcely to hold together on removal.
ARAB Does.—" Why," said I, do.' you keep such 114nurnber
of saVage dhg, in your tents ?." Ha answered, !! We can never
be perfectly. sure of „not being attacked, particularlY at night,
by either wild beasts of:human robbers; and we are secured
from bothby the number of dogs, in .every dascra. The lion,
for instance, never now attacks a dasCia, because lions have a
sort of traditional knowledge among them. The father-lion
tells his son, ! tgo down to that encampment on the plain,
for there ,are.twenty tents, and every tent has five dogs. These
dogs are poor creatures to be sure, and your paw or your tail
will knock them off like mice; but still they will. harrass and
hang cirt you, and give time to the Arabs to level their guns and
shout,you. , The .same is the case with the, robbers," quoth
the Arab,' " and in this nay we keep them:away from us."—
(Campbell's Letters from the South.) New Monthly for June.
FALL OF: FART OF A WA REHOUSE:—On' Monday afternoon,
at about four 'o'cloCk, the two upper floors of a warehouse be-
longing to Mt. Andrew Browne, situated in 'King-street-lane;
suddenly 'gave way at the back.. The.beams and rafters went
off in a slanting i irection, leaving the whole .front •and part of
the upper floors entire, while 'most Of the.wall on the north side
was home to the greund;• the- upper superincumbent' rubbish
pressing. down that part of the wall which would' Otherwise, in
all probability, have remained entire. The-two upper rooms
were loaded, but not heavily, with corn.. It is Supposed that the
disaster occurred through the insecurity of the foundation.' We
are .happy to itatnthat not the .slightest-injury to life or limb
his happened, though-several individuals were on, the premises
but a few moments before the accident happened, : , >
DIPLOMACY EiTaAintniN.AnY.--We have niwaYsl;liad. the
highest respect and.lbe fondeit'admiration flie.:tatentioT the:
female sex,. and. most particularly do we deem theui- fitted for
those fine and delicate negociatiens 'Which 'would,-.len to . one,
slip throsugh the awkwardlingers Of;a bearded aniliaisador. We
confess also to a partiality for England, above alltiatiOni on the
face,of the earth;, and above atlpossible kinds of-feroales dove
love and idolise ourown countrywomen. Yet:it must 'we .fear
be acknowledged, great as is the skill which someof.the " Fair
of Mayfair" have, exhibited, that the lady politicians of Great
Britairrat.e eclipsed in assiduity and cunning' by not, a few of
their foreign rivals. A certain, correspondent, who. is particu-
larly charged with our department of foreign affairs, informs us
of the; following.uppointinent, though it has not yet appeared
officially in .the St. Petersburli.Gazeite.—The Russian Baroness
Meyenclorff, for maey.years intimately attached to the military
department, of ,his Britannic Majesty's Embassy at Paris, but
who has since received the nomination of lady in waitingto one
of the members of the .French Royal Family, has been commis-
sioned by her Highness the Princess Lieven to proceed to Vienna",
there to confer with the Duke of Orleans, and- to point out to
his Royal Highness, with that grace'•and power of• argument
which neither colonels ror princes can withstand, that there is
no Austrian Arch-Duchess worthy of the French throne, and
that it would be better in every point of view that his royal
highness should return to his capital the gay bachelor that he
left it, there to await, under the auspices of the fair baroness,
the hand or a Russian princess, as soon as the tender years of
the imperial damsel will allow her 'to bless with her hyperborean
charms the young' heir of the barrieades. It is even, said, that
the Princess Lieven has received hints from the Tuileries that
certain intrigues are not unkrimin, and that they are diSpleasing;
and it is even stated that the beautiful baroness has been in-
structed to hold out certain vague and distant shadowings of
the Frontier of the Rhine, which might in process of time,
through such an alliance, assume a clearer and more definite
aspect. Poor Duke of Orleans! attacked by love on onei-side
and military glory on the other! A more bungling novice in
the diplomatte.art than her highness of Lieven would sucePed
with such tools to work with as. the Illeyendorff and the,Rhinel!
This is a subject on which we shall be further' informed—and
we are above the affectation of keeping secrets.—Court Jour-
old.