The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1840-01-21 00:00:00

FACETI/E.

The Boston Traveller says, the best snuff in the world is
a snuff of the morning air.
They have a judge in Missouri who glories in the name of
Lawless, and a Mr. Gamble is the clerk of the court.
A lawyer complained to a friend of Sir Chas. Wetherell'l
coining so many words. " I would not care for his coining,'
said George Rose, " if he would not utter them."
A lady visiting the British'Museum inquired if they-had a
skull of Newton j when answered in the negative, she said,
" I wonder at that ; they have got one at Oxford."
DoucLe .FARMERS.—The Siamese twins have purchased
a farm in Wilkes county, N. C., and gone to farm it in real
earnest. They drive a double team, and ought to raise a
double crop.
" My dear madam," said a doctor to his patient, " I am
glad to see you yet in life. At my last visit yesterday, you
know, I told you you had but six hours to live." " Yes,
doctor, you did ; but I did not take the dose you left."
A Yankee orator, wishing to conciliate some Germans just
previous to an election, in order to obtain their votes, ob-
served, that though he was not a German himself, yet he had
a brother who was.remarkably fond of German sausages !

EPIGRAM.
I'll tell you why our ministers,
As whips are written down,—
Because a wig is something false
•
Attached unto the crown.
A Germin who had been rambling through a village seek-
ing an inn, where he was to meet a friend, asked repeatedly
where was the " bubbly goose." At length, after much
trouble, it was found that he wanted the " public-house."
A. BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.—There is a firm up town, at one
of the corners in Houston-street, who boast the euphonious
appellation
they
" Seeand
Bird." When they look at any-
thing may be said to " take a bird's-eye
View" of the matter.
REDIINDANCY.—A contemporary remarks :—" The reins
of unbridled licentiousness .seem to have been let loose in
ex?!uxidod
our beloved land." This is a match for the Maine editor,
rcolumns."
who said—" Religious disputations upon any subject will be
Y u miles at shall we have for dinner to-day ?" " One
of your s," replied the husband ; " I can dine on that
said he giving her a kiss, 'as any day," " But I can't " • Ithe wife. " Then take this"
, said
returned to dinner. " Th'i, steak is excellent," said he;
" what did you pay for it?"
he darted for his office. Ile
morning," said she.
shall have market money the rest(lid 1" said he, "then you
"You " What, you gas:e me this
of the time."
INTERNAL IMPROVEMENT.
Our highly respectable nigger cotero-Wioraare very happy toise.et,
so much zeal against lottery gambling and
itnhefaSvuounr,
of
fasnoluenad
morals. It has made a great moral i • -
express rider,
tnprovement since it
Was indicted and convicted for waylaying an
and stealing other men's property. Let it go on and make
an exposure of the hells of New York and regular gambling,
i
and then it may savets soul and earn some reputation, lio
I—New York paper.
on, woolly heads •

On Saturday last, a vat, containing between four and five
thousand gallons of porter, belonging to Mr. Capri), of
Codnur Park Brewery, burst, and the liquor flowed into the
canal, which is close by. The discoloration of the water was
observed for more than a mile.—Derby Reporter.