The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1847-08-10 00:00:00

soul drinking in the mysteries of nature'

yearning towards the ab
nately and eternally true
Miss Lutestring takes poetic views of ev

actedly beautiful,

is very angry at

An railroads, and dec

taken the romance out of the country—as if romance lay
in rutty roads, broad-wheel wagons, and the capes of
coachmen's coats. The world as it at present unhappily
exists, she declares, is unworthy of the presence of a soul
glowing with poetic fire. She would, an she could, frame
it anew, and the folloiing would be some of her mate-
rials—her chaos.

Take of silvery tones,—fleeting spirits,—airy voices,
—moonlight sleeping on banks, —butterflies' wings,-
-mermaids,—sylphs,—moonlit glades,—fairy-like
music,—whispering willows, —purling fountains, —nod-
ding ,forests,—elfin revelry,—clustering flowers,—and
heaven knows how many similar ingredients—mix them
well up together, and garnish with longing hopes,—
truthful aspirations,—glowing vows,—and beating hearts.
The result will be a universe warranted correct, ideal,
and fairy-like.

echoes,

Miss Lucretia Lutestring is therefore a woman of mind
—a creature whose soul soars above this dull globe, and
its mouldy, dusty, cobwebby, and ignolale doings. In a

her own

The " Thing of beauty" always has her hair in papers,
and a hole in the heel of her stockings. Although aerial
and elfin in her nature, she has been known to dine on
beefsteaks, and sup on toasted cheese. It is a popular
error to suppose that she drinks nothing but dew out of
an acorn. The nearest approach she ever made to it was
drinking " mountain dew" out of a dram glass. Miss
Lutestring has little in common with the " strong-
minded woman," already satisfactorily disposed of. In
some points, however, they coincide—as in utter and
dense ignorance of those thousand homely duties and
sweet usehold ministerings, which make the hearth
the altar, and the homestead the temple, of that glorious
divinity—Domestic Love !
Miss Lucretia Lutestring

SHE CANNOT

Write an of
Or a sonne

Or a song oft;

he fairies.

Nor go to market,

Or a chaunt of the mermaids,
Or a hymn to liberty,
Or stanzas on a portrait,
Or lines on my uncle's birthday,
Or occasional verses,
Or stanzas for music,
Or an epic poem,

Nor work a pair of slippers,
Nor prattle loving nonsense,
Nor make the hearth tidy,
Nor dandle a baby,
Nor carve a joint,
Nor, alas! catch a husband.

Great—poetic—soaring—creative—then, as Miss Lu-
cretia Lutestring's spirit may_ be, it wants those magic

. .
graces which convert woman's weakness into woman's
strength. In her own sphere—by the hearth, in the
home, she is naught. She may be clever, but, like many
other clever people, she is—one of the " Bores."

ON PHILOPROGENITIVE BOREISM

In most of the domiciles of her Majesty's subjects there
is a nursery. We have now to do with those domestic
states in which the nursery governs the parlour, in
which the little masters and misses exercise unrelenting
tyranny over the mister and missus ; and in which all visi-
tors and strangers are forced to do homage to the juvenile
oligarchy of the lollipop and the go-cart, " _ _

If yoti

pay a foretiodn's visit to' one of these formidable

habdatiors,-your rat-ta-tat from without will be respond-
ed to by a loud series of screams from within. You enter

—there is a perfect inundation of babies about the house.
The nursery has overflowed, and its contents are sprawl-
ing on staircase and lobby. The parlour will be found
littered with toys. Johnny and Sukey will be seated on
the rug, fighting for the last morsel of Gibraltar rock.
for Ned will be cryinc, in the corner, where he has been de-

posited, wit

a foo:

s cap, on accoun

htiness. Sa-

rah Jane, and Alick, (the twins,) will be howling out, in
the true infant-school recitative, a lesson from the works
of the immortal lyric poet, Watts, beginning—

while mamma, in morning gown and curl papers, will be
dressing Petsey, rocking Baby Bib's cradle, teaching Sa-
rah Jane and Alick, scolding Ned, and screaming to
Johnny and Sukey to hold their tongues, all in a breath.
The call—a very short one—over, the unhappy visitor is
dismissed; his mind improved by the reception of the fol.
lowing important truths :—to wit,
Ist.—That Charles is to have the first prize it the se-

isle Grammar class

Thursday.
3rd.—That Polly had her ears bored last week, and is to
begin the piano next quarter.
4th.—That Peter is a bad boy, has broken three squares
of glass, and won't take his physic._

th.-:That Sarah Jane aild-Alick (the twins) can read
words of two syllables, and have thirteen hymns by

[wart, each

6th.—That Johnny and Sukey go out every day with
Susan in the park ;• but although the season is so warm,
they have not yet left off flannel.

-That Ned is such a cross child, you can't think.
-That Petsey suffers so much, poor darling, from

7th
Bth
teething
9th.—And that baby Bib was vaccinated on Saturday,
when it was the opinion of the doctor that he was, with-
out exception, the finest child he ever saw—•and the image
of his father.

A dinner party at a house of this class is not to be
lightly ventured. It will be a mercy if you have not the
whole of the infantry, rank and file, perched on little

chairs, with little knives and forks—screaming, now for
beef, anon for pudding—making grabs at the dishes with
their little soft greasy paws ; and being ultimately remo-

duct, and re-introduced up-on promises of amendment—
all through dinner time. If the Bore of Philoprogenitive-
ness has not gone to such an awful length as this, still you
will assuredly be deluged by the juvenile flood the mo-
ment the cloth is withdrawn. Then comes the grand ex-
hibition of the children, considered as works of art. First

choly rite performed, the elder olive branches will crate
attention. Peter, Alick, Johnny, and Ned will drink to
the healths of the company individually, and seriatim, in
half glasses of port. Thus—
Please, Mr. Brown, your good health.
Peter. }Please, Mr. Jones, your good health.
Please, Mr. Smith, your good health, &c.,
and so on by the other juveniles in turn.
A little scholastic fete is next grovided for the delecta-

tion of the guests.
" You'll be astonished

says the

was the Spanish Armada defeated ?
Answer, very promptly—" By John of Gaunt."
Dismissal of Peter with disgrace to bed.
" Ah, but," says papa, there's Johnny now—that
child's aptitude for arithmetic is really a very curiou
thine. Jol

JOhnny is instantly rewarded with another half-glass of
wine.

Examination resumed.
" And if 1 buy -a herring

and a half," &c., Si

owed
Queen, accompanied by Prince Albert, will honour the
Clyde with a visit in a very few days. Some time since
Mr. James Burns (of the firm of G. and J. Burns), was
officially requested to furnish information regarding the
west coast, and Mr. Burns accordingly furnished to head-
quarters a sketch of the various localities which were wor-
thy of a visit from the Sovereign. Soon after Mr. David
Hutcheson, of the above firm (the same gentleman who
lately accompanied the Grand Duke Constantine of Russia
in his aquatic tour), proceeded to London, and thence,
)rogress i upon_ special invitation, to Osborne House, to give further

shall now lay before the reader

On the 13th instant, her Majesty will leave Osborne
House in one of the Royal yachts, accompanied by the
Royal squadron. The fleet will, of course, come round
by the Land's End, and will only sail during the daytime,
s always anchoring at night the Queen remaining on

he presen

arrangement (anc

Majesty will visit the Frith of Clyde, and may be expected
there upon Tuesday, the 17th cuarent. The Royal
squadron will then sail to Greenock ; and her Majesty
would be most desirous to go to Dumbarton, and sail up
Lochlornond, were it not for the risk of bustle and con-
fusion amongst the steamers and other vessels in so nar-