The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1836-12-13 00:00:00

MISCELLANEOUS

Two A uvergtiets sieepifig in the same Tooth, one Said to
other—" lieter,!".—" Nell!"-" Are you asleep 7"—" Why r'.,
—" Because if you are not asleep, I wish you would lend mit
half-a-crown."—" Then I am asleep."
VERY EXTRAORDINARY, IF .Exeter paper Sava,
"During the storm of Tuesday, a man at Mouut li,u(iford tiae
driving home a cow, holding the tail of the animal in his hatiti,
a tree fell across it, completely severing the tail from the body,
and leaving it in the man's hand. Both Mau and OW were uti-. -
hurt."
A strange tumour is mentioned as prev4lent at Paris,,tla'ai
the Emperor Nicholas is insane. Another rumour concerning
the Czar is, that he has- met with another accident, and has
broken his dollar bone.. All these matters indicate, plainly
that it is expected he will not live long.
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1
EaToRT.—A jolly, corpulent, and exceedingly self-aatisfied
functionary demanded the name of a person who. waited upon
him on business. "My name is Fatt, was the reply. " Fatt t
fat indeed; you're
_lean enough in all conscience!" "True
enough, Sir, trueenoligh," was. the stinging and just rejoinder;
there's just this difference between us, that while I am better
taught than fed, you, on the other hand, are very considerably
better fed than taught!"
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NOTIONS OF LEGISLATIoN.—At the Abbeyfeale petty ties—
sions, last week, a son of Bacchus was fined ss. under the new,
act, for being drunk. On leaving the court, after paying the
fine, he said in a loud voice, " "I would be more daysint for the
the parliament to make a law for atoppiug tithes than to be tal/4.-..
ing the little change out of a poor crathilr's pocket. O'Con-
nell must have been in Kerry when it passed."—Limerick
Star. -

"There is a soothing attraction in the Wor'd BalSamic,•which
renders it peculiarly pleasing to those who are suffering under
the pressure of Disease, and to a peculiar ClaSs of Patients;
those who are afflicted with disorders of the Urethra, &c., Mr,
WRAY'S BALSAMIC PILLS, from the numerous cures
effected by them, have a just and pre-eminent claim to the most
distinguished public patronage."—Morning Advertiser. .
_ _

BIRMINGHAM DRAPERY COMPANY.-At a meeting of the
shareholders of this defunct speculation, a few clays ago, the
holders of scrip were informed that an advance of £2 per share
would be required to liquidate the demands to which the direc-
tors were liable. The original payment per share of £3 10s,
had been sunk in working the.concern, with the eiception of a
first dividend of 10 per cent.—Birmingham Advertiser.
A rusty old bachelor on the wrong side of fifty, who had just
got married, wrote his friend as follows If you love the Crea-
tor, you ought to marry to raise more worshippers; if you love
the ladies, you ought to marry, to make them happy; if you love
mankind, you ought to marry, to perpetuate the glorious race;
it' you loFe your country, to raise up soldiers to defend it; in
fine, if you wish well of earth or heaven, you ought to marry, to
give good citizens to one, and glorious angels to the other.'--
If he doesn't sing a different tune at the end of a twelve month,.
we are note judge in such miktters-,tliat's Ortean'i
-Bee. , .

JOHNAON'S OPINION OF ECONOMY.—AII to whom want is ter.:
rible, upon whatever principle; ought to think themselves obliged
to learn the sage Maxims of our parsimonious ancestors, and
attain the- salutary . arts of contracting expenses; for without
economy none can be rich, and with it few can be poor. The
mere power of saving what is already in our hands, must be ul
easy acquisition to every mind; and as the example of Lord
Bacon may show that the highest intellect cannot safely neglect
it, a thousand instances every day prove that the humblest may
practise it with sutcess.—Rambler.
VALUE OF EARLY RISING.—The difference of rising every
morning at six and at eight, in the &tate- of forty years, sup-
posing a man to go to bed at the same time he otherwise would,
amounts to 29,000 hours, or three yews, 121 days, and 16 hours,
which will afford eight hours a day for exactly ten years ; so
that it is the same as if ten years of iife were added ;--it weighty
consideration, in which we could command eight liours every
day for the cultivation of our minds or the dispatch of business.
CHURCH-RATES.—A small knot of papists and political dis-
senters, in sweet and consistent alliance, are aiming,to get up
a little bit of agitation in this town on the subject of church
rates. Before these pious and suffering creatures exhaust their
energies in this long-cherished cause, it may be well to remind
them, that Lord Melbourne and his ivhig-radical colleaguei
have not the most distant intention of abolishing church-rates.
They will modify the payment to suit the consciences of certain
scrupulous persons, but 'they have no notion—indeed, they dare
not make the attempt—of up-rooting that which: is held by as
good and lawful a tenure as any freehold estate in the kingdom.
Newcastle Journal.

NORTHWICH.—The waters, which lately inundated this town,
made a• breach in the embankment, close to the salt works ad-;
joining the leek, ,at Wilton Brook, and washed down a lime
kiln, carried away a large quantity of coal, and did besides,
considerable damage to the works. At Leftwich. works, on the
banks of the Dane, the water got into one of the store-houses,..
burst the flues, and destroyed upwards of one hundred tons of
salt; some of the pans were also washed down. At many of the
works the salt had, in anticipation of a flood, been shipped en
board the flats, or the loss would have been much more serious.
At Winsford and Wharton, the destruction. of salt was very
great ; upwards of 1,000 tons being completely lost to the dif-
ferent proprietors.
A STUPID DOG.—The following note by Sir Robert Heron
Bart., was lately read at one of the meetings of the Zoological
Society; it gives an account of an extraordigary instance of
want of sagacity in a dog :—" A large old white female terrier
followed me," says the writer, " hits autumn from Granthain
She remained perfectly satisfied for three weeks, when, on my
again going to attend the petty sessions, she again followed me.
I then found that shebelonged to one of my colleagues, the Rev.
Mr. Ottley, and that she had long been a great favourite in the
family, who were greatly distressed at her loss. It happened
that Mr. Ottley and I each rode a Chesnut pony with a long tail.
This had completely deceived the dog, whose unsentimental
friendship did not prompt her to ask any further questions."
MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT:—The following amusing
hand-bill has been iesned by a Dprsetshire labourer' and it is
to be hoped that it will.,Prove successful bill fo::.a Wife.
Matrimony. Charles Warren, Marnhull, Dorset. My family
is as follows :—The eldest boy is 13 years old, the younger boy
five years old, and a girl eight years old. My house is my own,
anal have lid -rent' to pm I have an acre of potatoes, half
blues and half whites, this year. My wife has been dead twelve
months ago last Shroton fair. The children live by themselves
in the day time, out I am always at home with them a night.
I do think' it would be better if there was a womiln to took artier
them, both fur the children and riivSelf. I have got eight shil-
lings a week for my work, and the boy two shilling a week, and
have constant employ. I want a good steady woman between
30 and 40 years old for a wife; I do not want a second family,
I want a woman to look after the pigs while 1 am out at work."
. RATS IN Paars.One of the principal reasons for the long
delay in removing the depot of the filth of Paris from Mont-.
faucon, is the dispersion it would cause of the myriads of rats
which have hitherto found their subsistence there, and which no
doubt would assail the Faubourg du Temple, and probably, ,
cause the destruction of many houses. Various means of get-
ting rid of this plague, previous to the proposed removal, have,
been tried in vain. Even poison has failed, and besides, this is
attended with numerous, dangers. The most successful expee
client has been frequently hunting them with dogs. To renders
. the slaughter the more extensive, all their burrews or outlets,
are stopped at midnight, and then,. in the morning, the chase,
bas been made by torch-light. On some of these occasions, as
many as 45,000 of these animals have been killed in a morning..
Their skins, when properly stripped off, without holes or other
damage, are sold at one sou a-piece, to make gloves. During
the last year•ethese battles have been very much attended.—
London paper.
WHIMSICAL OCCURRENCE.—A singular instance occurred
On Tuesday of the effects of over anxiety in destroying presence
of mind. A joint-stock bank having occasion to remit a large
sum of money to London, a confidential agent was sent up with
£106,000 in a parcel. The parcel was cerftained in a dads
crimson bag with a spring lock, and the gentleman entrusted
with the money kept it on his knee during a journey of nearly,
two hundred miles. On ,arriving in London he got into a cab
and drove to his banker's inieete bard-street. Overjoyed-at the
result of his successful mission. he leaped out of the cab and,
entered the banking-house, hut to his amazement discovered he
had dropped the bag in the cab with the £106,000. The con-
sternation occasioned may be easily feaginect, but the means,
adopted for its recovery were matted w:11-1 great prudence. lits
large reward was offered for the‘reeovery of the parcel, hut only,
lan pounds was promised to whoever restored ,the bag left" in as
cab to its owner. The result was, that ie a short time three
cabmen made their appearance, including the driver of the. cab.
in which the parcel was left. Ten pounds was given to .-the
principal, and five pounds a-piece to his companions.-ebension
paper. [lt is stated that the head-manager of. the Nett liens
and Central Bank is the absent gentleman who left the £lOG,OOO'
in the cab.]
Tee SOUTH Asi n ICAN BLOGD-1-10 UN re—This animal, called
also the Cuba blood-hound, possesses but little pretensions to the
charaCter which he has assumed, as,far at least as the sense of
smell is concerned, or compared with the noble animal which
has formed-the subject of the preceding observations. When
the Spaniards originally visited America, they found the natives
anineffensive indolent Face of beings, over whom they very soon
began to exerciser the most bat barous and unrelenting cruelly ;
they subjected theirs to insupportable .labour in the mines, by
sihich thousands were annually swept away, while those-. who
endeavoured to avoid suchen overetiarged_ measure of hunr*fi,
misery, by runniog,to the woods and-other-plaices for the..puu•-.
pose of secreting themselves from their 'cruel oppressors, were
hunted like wild beitsts.—The indigences dog of Americasfa a
small weak creature, and the natives were struck withhorror on.
beholding the large ferocious dogs Which acconifanied the
Spaniards. To' be brief, the dog taken by the 'Spaniards to
Atnerica4as a sort of mastiff, found all over the Europeap eon-.
fluent, remarkable fur its savage disposition, its ,fierceness and
its activity. This dog, this South American blood-hound as ho
is called, is nearly as high as the English teastiff, hilt his head'
is smaller, the lower part more tapet, lips much, closer, legs re-
thee thin, but cleaner than tliose of the dogs just tuetitioued; his
countenance presents a most malignant savage appearance.
With such animals the persecutednatives of America were pur-
sued and half worried to death ; with thefts also; subsequently,
have the runaway negroes being hunted dovin by the remorse-
less Spaniards. However, when these dogs were Used, it was
called
of being hunted by thesec:y.::llllloliiiaitni::
generally found necessarry to einplUy tistrialler canine assistant,
a•Pinder, on account of the inferiority
ani-
mal's sense of smell. When the MAtroons in Jamaica appeared
in arms for the purpose of shaking ofr their intolerable oppress
of hit larger
sion (under the governorship of Lord Balcarras,,) a nuinhec of
these dogs were procured, with their Spanish alte?idants,f_rpeuxa
Cuba;
,and so terrified Were the eufortehate blacks at the id
sub-
mitte'd. imus aatetate
of
vrcountryhi e
h bourutulia'aPs,nair
voefat
at
te
intervals,rodent ie
ason in
peTrhßaßps,HaEspcGoEmHp°lGe.t—e Tashthhlitbeolf"atrii°er.a_cir ttl'4inhheadbletihntg'gs this
re;ti ar
retire indeed much
of nets nun'
igira ns wTehiet.
hceadlgleed-
tt9u ossrien
tseor trha'at
to eat of their treasured lioarei7•eat ktsa,t
into temporary life by a
hog, on the eon
lays 0p..n0 stere for fhe. winter, but, re-
tiresf.ois Teary, and rolling itself
btsiethe fiolenee of the tempest,,
upintt,o3 itas tasrcoiltrtbla' irijs tpoa
tseeds
dreamless slumber, ourlistar
star more.pruioundly torpid by the bitterest
and only
Itsrutdaelrerdetreats are ru the bolrows treesaws•eh,icwVerree
frost.
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decayed at the bottom of. the trunk, underneath its b
the earth has been washe, eeeey from under the budge naked
roots, in holes of reeks, ortn-.stuy similar prutected excavation.
The female produces' front fee to four youtig elms early in-the
summer; at "hi:rrh" they are blind, and covered with nascent
spines, which rime white, soft,' and ll'exible of firit, but• become'
hard in the course of a day or. two. 'l4ln.i nest is formed with
considerable. art ;'.and the root'even where there is -no other
covering", is capable of throwing ore the rain, and preserving
the iatssior entirely 'Sty. ,!Btiffon relates that he has repeatedly
placed. the mother and. the young in a place of confinement ;
. but that, instead of suckling. them, she invariably killed tliem,
notwithstanding she was proVided with plenty ;if food. The
same naturalist has a, stillibiently absurd story respecting the
breeding of these anitnalir,;sibiell, as Well as Many o•lier fables,
he has copied implieitlYrect± the credulous Pliny, who, how-
ever, received it from nelestfiti authority than Aristotle him-'
self. By the eloquence of t?G diction, and his great popularity„!.
Buffon has been the meaner Of perpetuating this, with Wrp-
merable otheterrors.—BOY British. Quadilipeds.