Star.
London, England, 1826-04-25 00:00:00

GUILDHALL

New War v Pay OLD Dears.—Among the crowd of Widows
brought Wire the sitting Alderman yesterday, was one Mrs. Are
Hormel—or " Allison Horrid," as her uncouth cognomen was en-
tered iu the gaoler's list. She was a comely dame—fat and forty,
if not remarkably fair; and she was charged with having personated
one Mr. John Atkins, with intent to defraud Mr. George Haworth,
of No. 7, Montagu-place, Little Britain.
It appeared from Mr. llaworth's statement he had a bachelor
lodger named John Atkins; and John Atkins bad "an ugly knack"
of indulging himself every &today morning, by taking his breakfast
in bed. On Sunday monaing last Mr. Haworth took John Atkins's
breakfast up-stairs as usual ; hut instead of John Atkins he found
this " Mrs. Allison Horrid" in the bed, fast asleep, with her mouth
wide open !—llere Mr. Haworth paused, apparently quite bewil-
dered with his /torrid reminiscences.

" Well, Sir, and what happened then ?" demanded Mr. Alder-
man Co:.

•M Dm', Sirr said Mr. Haworth—as if much puzzled by the
question—l' Nothing happened tken—l hardly knew what to do
for the best."

" May it please your Worship," said Mr. Taylor, the constable—
the very venerable and " mkt master constable" of Aldersgate
Ward, who bad Mrs. Allison Horrid in custody, and then stood
by her side at the bar, in all the pride. pomp, and circumstance of
blue, scarlet, and gold; with his staff of dice in his right band,
and his Ivory-headed walking cane in the other—" May it please
your Worship, the prose:utor there is but an ignorant sort of man,
and rather deaf—the more's the pity ! and as I know something of
this ere business in band, I will—with your Worship's gracious per-
mission, give you my account of it."
" Very good, Mr. Taylor," said the Alderman ; by all means
let us bear what you have to say '." and thereupon Mr. Taylor very
solemnly proceeded to" bestow his tediousness" upon his Worship
in form and manner following:
_ . _ . . .

" Your Worship, yesterday morning—Sunday morning—about
—let me see—aye, about nine o'clock, this good man, the prosecutor
here, comes to me, at my house, in great pucker, with a cock and
bull story about some great fat woman having gotten into a bed of
his, against his consent and approbation. Where do you want me
to go?' says Ito him. To Nu. 7, filountygu-place, Little Britain,'
says he to me. ' And what do you want me to do when I get
there r says Ito him. 'To get the fat woman out of my bed, --
says he—' for she's gotten into it against my consent, and I don't
know what to do with her, not which way to turn myself,' says be
tome. Very well—and what is all that to me? says do you
think I've nothing to do on a Sunday morning but to go about pul.
ling fat women out of bed?' says Ito him. Oh ! Mr. Taylor,' says
he to me; but I hope you will go with me, for it's a very awkward
affair." Very good, says 1;' I'll go with you, because it is my duty
to aid and assist all who are in trouble; but I shall use my own dis-
cretion as to wbat I shall do when I come to inspect the premises.'—
So I reached down my staff—as soon as I had put on my coat, and
made myself a little decent; and I went with him to bis house—
No, 7—Afountars-place--Little Britain. When we got there, he
led me softly up the stair—and a very dark, narrow stair it was, as
I ever went up in the whole course of my practice. flowage., up
we went ; and when we come to the two pair back—sure enough,_
there lay a great fat woman fast asleep in the bed !—may it please
your Worship." Here his Worship, and everybody else, laughed
outright ; but Mr. Taylor preserved his solemnity and proceeded.—
" At first, I didn't think it was a woman—for she was stripp'd,
your Worship--stripp'd to the buff as it were, and she lay so large
that for the life of sae I couldn't satisfy my own mind that she was
anything but a man; and I said to the prosecutor, says I, that a
woman !—she's no woman VU be bound for it,' says I. Oh!
Mr. Taylor,' says be ' but she is a woman'—for the poor fellow
was almost frightened out of his wits, and being very deaf I could
make little or nothing of him. Oh !' says be.' but she is a woman
though.' Very well, says I,' we'll soon see that ;so I clapp'd my
hand upon her shoulder, and gave her a good hearty shake, and
Ilalloo, Missis !' says I, ' what business have you here?—get up
directly and dress yourself, that we may see what you are; ' says I.
But sbe only growl'd a bit, and turned round on her side; and pro-
gently, in rummaging about the room, Hinds an old black gown—
'Ho ! oh!' says I, I see how it is—she's a woman sure enough—
for bere's one of her fal-halls; and with that I shook her again, and
insisted upon her getting up and dressing herself. Indeed,' says
she, rubbing her eyes and yawning—' I can't think of dressing in
your presence,' says she. ' Now, I'll tell you a piece of my mind,
my girl,' says I'm an old married man, and a constable, and
I'm not going to be gammoned with sham modesty, after you've
been sleeping with this good man's bachelor all night,' says I••• 4 so
get up and dress yourself directly, else I'll pull the bed-clothes of
you, and have you out, by book or by crook, says I. At last, after
a good deal of bother, up she gets, and here she stands by the side
of me, before your good Worship. I questioned her strongly, as it
was my duty to do; and she told me something, which she will
now tell your Worship, I suppose; but so far as I Can understand,
the bachelor lodger, John Atkins, deluded her into the room clan-
destinely, and left her, fast asleep, in pawn for his rent !"
The prosecutor seemed to be of the same opinion with master
constable, for he said, " Johp Atkins owed me two pounds arrest of
tent, and I've got nothing in payment but this ere lady."
Whilst these particulars were relating, the lady stood pensively
gazing upon the windows of the justice-room, as though she would
fain have been out of it; and when the Alderman asked her what
she had to say for herself, she replied in a low melancholy tone, " I
have nothing to say for myself, except that I was very much over-
taken in liquor on Saturday night, and some gentleman invited use
home with him, and I recollect nothing else, until these gentlemen
(the constable and prosecutor) woke me up yesterday morning."
In reply to a question put to her from the Bench, she said sh
got her living by her needle • and as none of the officers could gain-
say this, she was admonished and discharged; and the prosecutor
was recommended to make diligent search for John Atkins, and sue
him for his rent.