Star.
London, England, 1826-05-08 00:00:00

GUILDHALL.

Joh* Thomas was committed for stealing a Printer's conspostgl.
stick out of an office in St. John's-square, where he bad applied
fur work.

One Mr. e Begixi, a well-built, well-fed, well-dresood..
I.lncasbi re person, was brought before t ;le Akterman,charged with
having scorned the advice, arid cracked the shins ut Joseph Godtrey,,
a comfortable little cockney constable, in a flaxen hob wig.
It appeared by the evidence of the constable aforesaid, and divers
very ancient and quiet wrchmen, his coadjutors in the preservation
of the King's peace, that about half-past one o'clock in the mottling,.
this Dlr. Robert Begood, instead of being at home and a bed, as
might naturally have been expected of the bearer of such a surname;
was found at the door of the Bull inn, Smithfield, in close confaho.
lation with two very naughty women—ladies who profess to der. MY
line only, but who are, in fact, decoy ducks, waddling abosst SmitkW
field and the parts adjacent, for the purppose of decoyhig the =utas-
try wild drakes, who resort thither, into the snares of the fowkr—orr
in rather words, into the haunts of the thieves, who are always waits.
ing to pluck them ; and certainly aptder occupation cannot he. Now
the comfortable little constable aforesaid, seeing Mr. Robert Re—
good in close confabulation with the aforesaid brace of decoy ducks.
—or damsels, be they which they may; and being moreover deci-
dediy of opinion that Mr. nolo. Begood was fresh ftotu the country,
and therefore in great danger of being decoyed by them into zii
. .

canner of naharef and misery; determined in hi. own mimd to

• .
save him from the same if possible. So, "first and foremost" he
wzat up to them, and ordered the decoy ducks to "Ise off for
brace of brimstones!" and they did go oft' accordingly, as he verily
believed at the time, but in this point he was mistaken, as the
event will thew. However, believing the said brace of britiwur.ro
to be " gone clean away"—though how he could believe such fool
sluts could go clean away, we know not; be next addressed himself
to Mr. Robert Begood—informing him of the peculiar statute of

those brimstones, and earnestly recommended him to go home to
bed. To which Mr. Robert Begood replied—M Nay, but I have•
some ale within doors here, and I'd like to drink that first—as for
women, I didna want moo& do wi em." " Very good," rejoined
the constable ; for be thought it a pity that good ale should spoil
fur lack of drinking; and, as we have already said, he is a very
comfortable constable, and of course, be likes to make every body
else comfortable—that is, every honest body. Su when Mr. Robert-
liegood talked of finishing his ale, the constabl.... said "very good;"
and they went into the house together—the con-tab!e thinking.that
it would be better he should assist in the drinking of the ale, is
order that it might be the sooner drank; and nut doubting but that
when it was drank, Mr. Robert Begood would bu good enough to
go home quietly to lied. But in this also he was mistaken ; for as

one word -brittle on another, so also does one cup; and Mr.
good's cup was no sooner empty than he insisted upon having it fil-
ed again. " I poured my advice into him," said the constable ; " brat
it was all of no use—he scorned my advice, and set good counsel at
defiance ;"—thatis to say, as fast as the constable poured in the ad-
vice, Mr. &good poured in the ale; and the ale, being the strongest.
got the better of the advice ;a very natural con,equcnce, though it

seemed to puzzle the. constable much. But the worst part of the•
business was yet to come, for whilst they were thus engaged—
the coustable pouring in his advice, and Mr. Begood drowning
it by pouring in his ale, in bounced the brace of brimstones above-
mentioned; and Mr. Begood was so mightily elated thereat, that
he jumped over the table, and kicked sundry drinking gl there-
from, smashing them to pieces against the wall on the other side of
the room. The constable now thought it was high time to pocket
his patience and take out his staff; and he did so; but Mr. Begood
' paid as little respect to the staff as he had done to the advice; and
when the constable attempted to force him away from further mis-
chief, he set-to, and cracked the constable's shins, with as little re-
morse as his distressed countrymen are cracking the power beams.
Whereupon the constable called in the watch, and the brace of
brimstoues were dispersed, and Mr. Begood was carried to the
watch-house, kicking and sprunting with all his might.
Air. Begood, in his defence, admitted that he had not been so
good as he ought to have been ; but nevertheless he thought he had
endured more punishment than enough. lie said he was but
" standing on steps asking constable fur's authority, when watch-
man came up, grappled him round knees, like child, and began
tarrying him off in that form; and bateau.* he did not like that,
they' puncied him wi staves tilt ribs ached!"
ash. Alderman Cox told him all* this was the natural conse-
quence of his own misconduct; and-nnless he could satisfy the
constable; by apeligizing to him for having kicked his shins LP un-
mercifully, he must put in bail.
Mr. Begood preferred to apelogike ; and the parties having with-
drawn for a minute or two, the constable came in again, and said
they had made every thing very comfortable.