The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1852-10-19 00:00:00

ARIE TIES

TN A BARBER'S SHOP in North Shields there is a bill
recommending a certain patent medicine, with the ver
dubious heading, " Try one box
rpd."

r medic

ever be re

"Julius, what is a parallelearam ?"

PARALLELOGRAM.—
" A parry what ?" " A
ogram, Mr. Snow, is_ pro

)arallelo
laced b 3

m." " A Parallel-

stance of a triangle from de equilibrium of half de ra-
dishes. Do you understand ?' "Of course I does
only axed to see how much de

gger know

ACROSTIC

G reat king ! before whose magic pow
A cringing world in terror bends !
M aster of all t In every hour
M an worships thee: thy rule extends
O'er rich and poor alike. 0 prir
N e'er shall thy sway he less for

ant of tools

A LAST LooK.—There is a feeling that resembles
death, in the last glance we are ever to bestow on a loved
object. The girl you have treasured in your secret heart,
as she passes by on her wedding- day, it may be, happy and
blissful, lifts up her laughing eyes, the symbol of her own
light heart, and leaves in that look darkness and desolation
for ever. The boy your father's spirit has clung to like
the very light of your existence, waves his hand from the
quarter-deck, as the gigantic ship bends over to the breeze ;
the tears have dimmed his eyes, for mark ! he Moves his
fingers over them—and this is a last look.
ENGLISH SOLDIERS IN FRANCE.—" However, it 'a
military ; and abroad, my dearest Kitty, if not a soldier,
you are nothing. The Englishmen are so well aware of
this, that not one of them would venture to present him-
self at a foreign court in that absurd travestie of footmen
called the ' Corbeau' coat. Even the lawyers and doc-
tors, the newspaper editors, the railroad peoplo. the civil
engineers, end the salicitors, all come out as Yorkshire
Hussars, Gloucestershire Fencibles, Hants Rifles, or
Royal Archers ; these last, very picturesque, with kilt,
fillabeg, and dirk, much handsomer than any other High-
land Regiment."—The Dodd Family Abroad. No. 11.
" Mn. SHOWMAN, what is that ?"—" That, my dear,
is the rhinocercow. He is cousing German, or Dutch
relative to the unicorn. He was born in the desert Sary
Ann, and feeds on the bamboo and missionaries. He
never leaves his home unless he moves, in which case he
goes somewhere else, unless he is overtaken by the dark.
He is a very courageous creature, and whips when he
conquers. He was brought to this country much against
his will, which accounts for his low spirits when he 's
melancholy and dejected. He is now somewhat aged,
although he has seen the day when he was the youngest
specimen of animated nature in the world. Pass on, my
little dear, and allow the ladies to survey the ring-tailed
monkey, a hinimal that can stand banging like a feller
critter, only it 's reversed."
NIGGER SAME() AND HIS READINESS FOR HEAVEN.
—Poor old Sambo was very pious, and as he became
stricken in years, and looked upon the world and its sur-
roundings as vanity and vexation of spirit, he flattered
himself into the belief that he was willing and anxious to
die. He would often sing and ejaculate, " Wheneber de
angel ob de Lord shall call, poor old Sambo is ready to
go." Now this became commonly known amongst the
younger dsrkies upon the plantation, who had a grudge
against old Sam, because he was "a terror to evil doers."
Accordingly, one night a negro wag crept to the door of
the hut, and waited for old Sam to begin. First came the
hymn, and at length, with a sigh and a groan, he began
to sway his body, and out it came, " Wheneber de angel
of de Lot d shall call, poor Sambo is ready to go." Tap,
tap, tap, upon the door. " Who dar ?" shouted Sam,
turning his eyes until the whites alone were visible.
"De angel oh de Lord." " What do he want ?" gasped
Sambo. "He come for old Sambo," was the dreaded
reply. " Phugh!" out went his candle at one puff;
" Dar aint no Sambo here ; he 'a gone dead mor'n tree
weeks !" " E'yah ! e'yah ! e'vah ! " shouted a chorus
from without.—New York Spirit of the Times.