Star.
London, England, 1827-09-25 00:00:00

GLEANINGS ALONG SHORE.

A MA ROATI DIALOODIL—g How d'ye do, Lord W.?
Tolerably toll•loll, thank'r"—" How's the Mar-
chese ?"—." atto."—" Been long in Margate ?"—" An
eternity." Very agreeabli place, Margate?"
.44 D—d agreeable, to be sure !" D'ye stay long ?"--
u Don't know." " You're the only Lord in it, I think ?"
• Yea, verily—and that's the reason I am in it."—
Good bye, Marquis."—" Good by'e, Tom." Mem.
....Better be a King among cobblers, than a cobbler
among Kings.
ANOTHER; :hewing the advantage of steons-travel.
ling.—" Ah, Jinks I—how goes it ?—and when did you
come down?"—" Why just now—by the coach."—
'Coach I—why the plague did you come by ward r—"
—" Why that I might ,see the country—hikes to see
hew the things grow." " Nonsense about all that!--
every fool knows the things grow upwards ; —I came
down last night by steamer." " By steamer !—and
why the plague did you come by steamer r ." Why !
—why for the best of all possible reasons, my old Hum-
drum Rumfustico ;—there's such capital accommoda-
tion for cribbage!" " Aye, true, so there is—l never
thought of that before." .. Lord love you, there's no-
thing like it !—Sam Sid and I—you know Sam Sad—
the'squadly man in the brown coat, that ate so much
pickled salmon the other night at Offity's?—Well, he
and I played at crib all the way down this trip—we
began at Tower-stairs, kept hard at it till we got along-
side the Jetty, and left off even and even I—Oh there's
no travelling like stearn.travelling, if a man wants to
enjoy himself !—I ataure you, carts will shortly be all
the go aboard steamers I" (Query?—Would it not be
worth the while of the St. James's Fishmonger to buy
a good big steamer, and start her as a Rating Hell—
or'Hcll afloat Z.—Should he be at a loss for a name for
her, let him call her the Phlegethon ; and no doubt she
would do wonders among the vast shoals of flat fish
which, from April to October, are continually migrating
between London-bridge and Portland Bill.)
POLICY AND PRINCIPLE; a Margate Dialogue.--
4. Well, Sir, how do you do to-day? said I to an old
gentleman in nankeen shorts. open waistcoat, and
whitey-brown thread stockings, who smoked his pipe.
and sipped his half-pint of port at one certain hour every
afternoon, in the verandah looking into the bay at the
back of the King's Head coffee-room. " Why, Sir,"
said he, " I am not quite what I was forty rummers
ago.—For the last forty years I have never missed
spending one week in each year at Margate; but I
can't s.; I enjoy it as I used to do. Formerly I would
mount you the cliffs, or shake my shoes at Dandelion,
with the best of 'em ; but now, my chief delight is to be
alone, sipping my little half-pint of port, and smoking
any pipe, and gazing upon the water, as you see me
now." " As you are so regular a visitor, no doubt you
find the steamboats a great convenience to you?"'—
" Very great—very great, indeed; and that reminds me
that one half the people in this •world are fools."—
" How so, Sir?"—" Why, Sir, I live in Westminster—
near the Abbey; and almost all the people I know will
have it that the neatest way from Westminster to the
Tower.nairs is through the City; and so they go puk-
ing through the City with their lumber and luggage in
a hackney coach. Now, Sr, I, who reckon myself a
pretty good topographist, always go alongWesttainster- •
btidge—on foot, mind ye; cross the Borough—take a
boat at P,ckle Herring-stairs--and there I am ! with my
little bundle under my arm, containing a shirt, a waist-
coat,
and two pair df stockings; for, Sir, I never bring
a second coat to Margate—never. I pride myself, Sir,
upon observing one regular system in every thing, and
I never did bring e second coat to Margate; but some.
how or other I don't enjoy the place as I used to dn."—
" Pray, Sir," said a pudgey red•faced little personage in
a white hat and brimstone vest, who had joined us during
the latter part of the old gentleman's speech—" Pray, Sir,
do you think it good policy—you'll excuse me, S;k—but
you seem to rr e to be rather gaspingish for breath, like
—a little touched with the asthmatics, as it were : and
do you "think it good policy to be sitting here with your
suouth wide open, in the face of this ere stiffish north-
easter?"—" Policy, Sir don't know what you mean
by policy ;" replied the angry sexagenarian—.. I keep
my mouth open upon princip!e, Sir I" " Well, I'll be
shot if I did'nt think so !" rejoined the pudgey person-
ae ;—" for meet you where I will. you've always got
a wide open ; but I don't think it's good policy for a
tizzicky gentleman like you." " Why not, Sir," said
the sexagenarian-4. Why not, Task you? • What do 1
some to Margate for but to inhale as much se:Oak as
possible; and how is that purpose to be answered if I
keep my mouth shit?—No, Sir; I, Sir, have made these
things my study, Sir, these forty years; and, 'Sir, I
always keep my mouth open upon principle, Sirl—you
may do as you like with your:4. —4. Thank you, Sir,"
cilia the pudgey personage; and there the conversation
dropped.
Meer.—The man who acts upon the principle afore-
said, should wear a wire-work cover over the orifice in

question--othermise he may be mush inconvenienced'
by dust and bluebottles.
NOTA Balm— Whereas it is an incontrovertibie fact'
that pocket will not take care of themselves, it behoveth
ovary man coming to Margate by steam to take care of
his pockets, inasmuch as the Margate steamers are in-
fested by divers eminent London divert, who are con-'
tinnally on the watch to take advantage of unwatchei
' pockets.wespedally when the proprietors of the said
pockets are under the operation of the nautical stomach
pump. Nay, it is a fact, that many a well watched fob
has, by some queer contrivance of theirs, been as com-
pletely trn•watched as though it h. d never been watched
at all. Meat.—The " season ticket system" has been a
golden system to these same London divers—giving
each of them a fair seven hours' run among a full-
pocketed crowd every day in four months at the trifling
charge of about half a crown per day.
• How TO OBTAIN AN EAST PASSAGE.—Those ladies
and gentlemen who are subject to sea qualms on board
a steamer will do well to adopt the plan of Mrs. David
Davis, of Candlewick Ward. She married a Welsh-
man, but she is Hampshire born, and she always carries
a small tin case filled with finger shaped plugs of im-
pregnated pig—which she declares will infallibly
g, make the passage quite easy." Maw.—ln general one
plug is a dose.
To THOS WHOM IT MAT CONCIERH.....if you think to
do things•at Margate by the book—which says,
" Yon May stay out a week, taste the pleasures all round,
" And carry home change from a note of five pound."
Don't attempt it; for you'll only get yourself sniffed
at, and you won't do it after all—or. if you do, you
will do more (and km) than the author of the book,
himself, ever did. P. P.

THE HOWARiVS:

-