The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1839-08-02 00:00:00

QUACKS AND QUACKERY.

(From " Physic and Physicians—a Medical Sketch Book.")
Every age has its peculiar delusion. It was Voltaire who
said, alluding to the election for members of Parliament,
" that Englishmen went mad every seven years." Had he
lived in the present day, and witnessed the infatuation exhi-
bited for every startling medical humbug, he would have felt
disposed to think that a certain portion of the nation had
annual fits of mental derangement. No sooner does one
species of quackery bud into existence, flourish, and retire to
the tomb of all the capulets, than another starts into life and
activity, exciting the admiration of all the old women and
weak-minded men, ever ready to swallow the most incredu-
lous and preposterous stories as if they were delighted in
being imposed upon.
The most striking delusion or monomania of the present
day is that of the homeopathists—the infinitesimal doctors
who believe in the virtues of the millionth billionth, and
trillionth part of a grain of magnesia and rhubarb, and pre-
dict the most wonderful cures to result from the exhibition
of these unappreciable doses of medicine.
Doctor Quin, we understand, is amassing considerable
wealth by his homoeopathic practice; and yet, when iil him-
self, he places no faith in his own doctrine, but sends for his
allopathic friend, Mr. Liston. This is one of the grossest
delusions ever practised on the credulity of the public, and
which men of honour and principle ought to shrink from, as
one would do from the sting of an adder.
The principle upon which the system is founded is, to a
certain extent, true, and we quarrel not with it, but we do
with its general application. How easy it is for an unprinci-
pled man, professing to practice the homoeopathic doctrine,
to deceive his patients, and to cure them on allopathic prin-
ciples, leading them all the time to believe that he is doing
the reverse. Who can tell that the powders which these
quacks give, contain such minute doses of medicines ? We
have only their word for it, and are they to be trusted? An
allopathic physician, when requested to prescribe for a patient,
writes a prescription which any chemist understands and can
prepare. He cannot deceive Us ; but how different is the
conduct of those who profess to practice this new-fangled
dogma. It is founded in imposition. Its very essence is
deceit, and as such every honest man ought to repudiate it.
We have said more, however, on this subject than we in-
tended. The bubble will soon burst, and then the public
will wonder how they could be so easily deceived.
"The homoeopathic system, Sir, just suits me to a tittle,
It proves of physic, any how, you cannot take too little;
If it be good in all complaints to take a dose so small,
It surely must be better still to take no dose at all."
This is sound logic, and we recommend our homoeopathic
readers to lose no time in acting upon it.
Some time since a soi doisant quack doctor sold water of
the pool cf Bethesda, which was to cure all complaints, if
taken at the time when the angel visited the parent spring,
on which occasion the doctor's bottled water manifested, he
said, its sympathy with the fount, by being thrown into a
state of perturbation. Hundreds of fools were induced to
purchase the Bethesda-water, and watched for the commo-
tion and the consequence, with the result to be expected.
At last one, less patient than the rest, went to the quack,
and complained that though he had kept his eye constantly
on the water for a whole year, he had never yet discovered
anything like the sign of an angel in the bottle.
" That's extremely strange,' exclaimed the doctor, " what
sized bottle did you buy, Sir ?"
Patient. A half-guinea one, doctor.

'Doctor. Oh, that accounts for it. The half-guinea bot-
tles contain so small a quantity of the invaluable Bethesda-
water, that the agitation is scarcely perceptible; but if you
buy a five-guinea bottle, and watch it well, you will in due
time see the commotion quite plainly, sympathising with that
of the pool when visited by the angel.
The patient bought the five-guinea bottle as advised, and
kept a sharp look-out for the angel until the day of his death.
One of the most impudent quacks ever known was Mon-
sieut Villars, of Paris, who lived about 1728. When a funeral
passed, he would shrug up his shoulders in pity, saying, `• If
the deceased had taken his he would not be where
he is." At length his nostrum got into fame, and the quack
amassed wealth. His prescription with his medicine (which
was nothing more than the water of the Seine, and a little
nitre,) or rather his observation, was generally this :—" It is
your own fault if you be not perfectly cured; you have been
intemperate, and incontinent ; renounce these vices, and with
the aid of my medicine, you will live to a good old age."
The Abbe Pons extolled this quack, and gave him the pre-
ference to Mareschal de Villars. " The latter," said he,
" kills men ; the former prolongs their existence."
Sir William Read, a quack doctor, died in 1715. He was
knighted by Queen Anne, on which the following lines were
written on him by Mr. Gevonnett

" The Queen, like Heaven, shines equally on all,
Her favours now without distinction fall ;
Great Read, and slender Hannes, both knighted show
That none their honours shall to merit owe ;
That Popish doctrine is exploded quite,
Or Ralph bad been no duke, and Read no knight ;
That none may virtue or their learning plead,
This has no grace, and that can hardly read."

A quack, who lived in the time of Louis XI., told the
king, that a lady whom his Majesty delighted to. honour,
would die in eight days, which having happened the king
caused the quack to be brought before him, and commanded
his servants not to fail to throw him out of the window,
when he gave a specified signal. As soon as the king saw
him, he observed, You pretend to understand astrology
as well as medicine, and to know exactly the fate of others,
tell me, this moment, what will be yours, and how long you
have to live ?" " Sire," answered he, without showing any
symptoms of fear, " I shall die just three days before your
Majesty." The ready answer of the quack saved his life.
The Duke de Robin being taken ill in Switzerland, sent
for one of the most famous physicians, who called himself
Monsieur Thibaud. " Your face, Sir," said the duke to
him, "is not quite unknown to me, I think. Pray, where
have I seen you before?" "At Paris, perhaps, my lord
duke, where I had the honour to be farrier to your grace's
stables. I have now a great reputation as a physician. I
treat the Swiss as I used to do your horses, and I find, in
general, I succeed as well. I must request your grace not
to make me known, for if so, I shall be ruined."
Mantaccini, the famous charlatan- of Paris, was a young
man of good family, and having in a few years squandered a
large estate, and reduced himself to beggary, he felt that he
must exercise his ingenuity or starve. In this state of mind
he cast his eyes round the various devicets which save from
indigence, and are moat favoured by fortune. He soon per-
ceived that charlatanism was that on which this blind bene-
factress lavished her favours with most pleasure, and in the
greatest abundance. An adroit and loquacious domestic was
the only remaining article of all his former grandeur; he
dressed him up in a gold-laced livery, mounted a splendid
chariot, and started on the tour under the name, style, and
title, of " the celebrated Dr. Mantaccini, who cures all
diseases with a single touch, or a simple look."
Not finding. that he obtained as much practice as his daring
genius anticipated, he determined to resort to still higher
flights. He left Paris, and modestly announced himself at
Lyons as " the celebrated Dr. Mantaccini, who revives the
dead at will." To remove all doubt, lie declared that in fif-
teen days he would go to the common church-yard, and
restore to life its inhabitants, though buried for ten years.
This declaration excited a general rumour and murmur
against the doctor, who, not in the least disconcerted, applied
to the magistrate, and requested that he might be put under
a guard to prevent his escape, until he should perform his
undertaking. The proposition inspired the greatest confi-
dence, and the whole city came to consult the clever empyric,
and purchase his Lannie de vie. His consultations were
most numerous, and he received large sums of money. At
length the famous day approached, and the doctor's valet
fearing for his shoulders, began to manifest signs of uneasi-
ness. " You know nothing of mankind," said the quack to
his servant, "be quiet." Scarcely had he spoken these
words, when the following letter was presented to him from
a rich citizen :—" Sir, the great operation which toil are
going to perform, has broken my rest. I have a wife buried
for some time, who was a fury, and I am unhappy enough
already without her resurrection. In the name of Heaven
do not make the experiment. I will give you fifty louis to
keep your secret to yourself." In an instant after two dash-
ing beaux arrived, who, with the most earnest supplications
entreated him not to raise their old father, formerly the
greatest miser in the city, as, in such an event, they would
be reduced to the most deplorable indigence. They offered
him a fee of sixty louis, but the doctor shook his head in
doubtful compliance. Scarcely had they retired, when a
young widow, on the eve of matrimony, threw herself at the
feet of the quack, and with sobs and sighs, implored his
mercy. In short, from morn till night, the doctor received
letters, visits, presents, fees, to on excess, which absolutely
overwhelmed him. The minds of the citizens were differently
and violently agitated, some by fear, and others by curiosity,
so that the chief magistrate of the city waited upon the doc-
tor, and said, " Sir, I have not the least doubt, from my
experience of your rare talents, that you will be able to ac-
complish the resurrection in our church yard the day after
to-morrow, according to your promise ; but I pray you to
observe that our city is in the utmost uproar and confusion ;
and to consider the dreadful revolution the success of your
experiment must produce in every family ; I intreat you,
therefore, not to attempt it, but to go away, and thus restore
tranquillity to the city. In justice, however, to your rare
and divine talents, I shall give you an attestation in due
form, under our seal, that you can revive the dead, and that
it was our own fault we were not eye-witnesses of your
power. This certificate was duly signed and delivered, and
Dr. Mantaccini left Lyons for other eities to work new mira-
cles. In a short time he returned to Paris, loaded with gold,
where he laughed at the popular credulity.
Among our notices of distinguished quacks, we must not
omit to mention the celebrated Count Cagliostro and his
lady. They pretended to a knowledge of a practice, whereby
everlasting youth might be obtained. The roses were to
flourish unabated on the cheek of age, without the aid of
cosmetics.

The couple first made their debut at St. Petersburgh ; the
countess, who was not more than twenty, used to speak
without the least affection of her eldest son, who had been
for along time a captain in the Dutch guards. This pheno-
menon, of grinding old people young, in so visible and
charming a manner, could not fail to astonish the ladies, who
are generally so expert in diminishing, instead of adding to
their years. They flocked to consult her ; she advised them
to use the count's nostrums. Treasures flowed in ; true, the
ladies did not grow young again, but their lovers assured
them they did; and Cagliostro was almost deified.
So well did this worthy couple play this game, that a great
Russian princebecame sensible to the charms of the countess.
The empress heard of it ; she summoned the syren to her
presence. The countess lied so well, and so audaciously,
that it passed for currency, and her absence was bought by
a present of 20,000 roubles ! A Russian mother, whose child
was dying, gave 5000 louis d'ors to recover it; the count
engaged to do so, if he were allowed to take it home for eight
days ; the child was returned healthy and well, but it did not
happen to be the same ; he had bought one, after having
burnt the original child that would die, to make an experi-
ment of regeneration ; all this he confessed. The money
was required back, but the usual answer, " No money re-
turned," was the result. They then favoured Warsaw with
a visit, and adroitly enlisted on their side the priests and the
poor. At this city, and at Paris, these impostors realized
large sums of money. Morality and decency forbid us from
entering into a minute detail of the abominations which they
had recourse to, in order to effect their nefarious purposes.
An empyric of the first water, net many years ago, had
made himself famous for the cure of all human maladies, by
the administration of peculiar pills, of his own invention.
What contributed not a little to the increase and spread of
his reputation, was the fact, that he used frequently to tell
his patients, that from their symptoms, he was confident
some particular substances were lodged in a portion of the
alimentary canal. At one time, he would tell a patient that
he had apple-seeds retained in his bowels; and, again, he
would tell another that he had kernels of different fruits, and
grains, in his stomach ; and if by questioning the gentlemen,
he could ascertain they were fond of shooting, it was not
seldom that he attributed their complaints to having acci-
dentally swallowed a few shot. As nothing could so conclu-
sively prove his prognostics correct, as the simple fact of
finding the articles named, the quack's character for wisdom
and skill became more and more firmly established; for the
identical causes of mischief were invariably discovered, after
taking a dose of the big pills. At length, a lady of the first
respectability, having suffered a long time from deranged
digestion, applied to this celebrated quack for assistance.
After a few questions, he told her very promptly, that he un-
derstood her complaint, that he knew what ailed her, and
more than all, that her doctor was a fool; and assured her
that his big pills would effect a cure. Neither of these asses-
Cons she exactly credited •, but nevertheless, concluded to
try his remedy, if he would make known to her the com-
plaint. ". Why," says he, " you have got lemon-seeds in
you—you must take some of my pills, and get rid of them,
and you'll be perfectly well again." " Why, doctor," said
the lady in amazement, " I have not eaten a lemon for

six years ; and what you say, is quite impossible." "No
matter, madam, if you have not eaten a lemon for twenty
years, the fact is just as I tell you, and if you will take the
pills, you can be satisfied yourself." The pills were taken,
and to the utter astonishment of the, patient, the lemon-seeds
were found ; a second dose was taken, and still more seeds
made their appearance. A thought now flashed upon the
lady's mind. One pill was yet left, which she examined, and,
behold ! a lemon-seed in its centre—the secret truly of the
doctor's astonishing wisdom, and successful practice.
Dr. Simon Forman, a celebrated physician and astrologer,
lived in Lambeth. This man was implicated in the murder
of Sir Thomas Overbury, hut he died in 1611, before the trial.
Forman was notorious long before his connexion with Lady
Essex, and excited a vast deal of jealousy ou the part of the
medical practitioners of London, by giving unlicenced advice
to the sick, as well as by casting nativities ; but he was at
length able to procure a degree from Cambridge. The follow-
ing lines refer to him :
" Dr. Forman, in art a poor man

You calculate nativities ;
And by your almanack out of date, tell a fool his fate
By celestial privities.

" Though to your great expense, you did commence
In the famous University;
Yet, by such a hap, an ass may wear a velvet cap,
And there's the true diversity."

No subject calls more loudly for the interference of the le:-
gislature than that of quackery. Yet, the question has so
many ridiculous sides, that the public, while they laugh, al-
low imposition of the most palpable kind to flourish and suc-
ceed. -It is indeed characteristic of the nation, that the
grossest public injuries affecting the state, or the public
health, are overlooked, while they afford materials for joke
and merriment. When we see one of H.B.'s inimitable
sketches, representing the prime minister's neck under the
foot of the " member for all Ireland," or the lender of the
House of Commons, or the Chancellor of the Exchequer
dancing a-la-Rice, a long score of indignation is paid off;
their obnoxious measures are for the moment forgotten ; we
are sensible only to present impressions, and feel grateful
for the ludicrous association of face and dress. In like man-
ner, when in gazing into a print shop we see the representa-
tion of a patient who has been dosed, risque ad nauseam,
with the vegetable pills," 'sprouting out in luxhriant vege-
tation, as the effect of the medicine taken, to look " grave,
exceeds all power of face ;" and the misery, wretchedness,
pain, and death, which we know to have resulted from the
use of the nostrum is forgotton, in the midst of the ridicu-
lous ideas which tile print excites in our mind.

POPE'S VILLA.—Sir Matthew Waller has disposed of
Pope's Villa, at Twickenham, to Mr. Raphael, of Carlow-
O'Connell notoriety. The purchaser, who prefers prose to
poetry, having bought it upon speculation, means to pull it
down immediately.
ANSWER TO MR. LUCAS'S "REASONS FOR BECOMING A
ROMAN CATHOLIC." By Guido Sorelli, of Florence, the
converted Roman Catholic, author of "My Confessions,"
translator of Milton, and Professor of Languages.—" No-
thing could be more appropriate than that this excellent
gentleman should reply to the preposterous nonsense of Mr.
Lucas, who pretends to be converted from the new religion
of George Fox, the father and founder of Quakerism, to the
new religion of Pope Pius IV, who may be termed the father
and founder of Popery. We say that Mr. Lucas pretends to
be converted to Popery, because is is not at all impossible
that he has been a Papist all through the piece. We do not
believe that any Popish Jesuit would mind becoming a
Quaker, just for the sake of afterwards becoming a convert
to Popery, and publishing his reasons for doing so. How-
ever, be it as it may, Guido Sorelli has answered him effectu-
ally. We say answered him, and we mean what we say in
the fullest sense of the term ; for he has produced a capital
reply to him—one which neither be nor any Papist ever will,
or ever can, overthrow ; and sincerely do we thank Guido
Sorelli for his admirable and timely pamphlet."—Comervative
Journal.

A PLEASANT MISTAKE.:—Last week a gentleman of Pres-
ton, carpet bag in hand, went bustling to one of the coach-
offices in that town, opposite which two or three coaches
were preparing to start, and having booked for the pleasant
watering place, Blackpool, sallied forth and at once ensconced
himself snugly in the inside of the vehicle, and gave himself
up to gratifying anticipations of the pleasure that awaited
him when his journey was ended. In a few minutes four
spanking horses whirled the coach over the jolting stones of
Preston streets, and for a couple of hours our friend of the
carpet bag was buried in his own thoughts. At the expira-
tion of that period, however, he began to imagine he ought
to be approaching his destination, and anxious to know some-
thing definite on that head, he popped his face out of the
and complacently said, " Coachman, how far are we
from Blackpool? ' " Blackpool " responded Jarvey,
"God bless your soul, this is a Leeds coach, and we are now
at Altham, between Blackburn and Burnley." N.B.—Black-
pool is due west, and Leeds due east from Preston.—Black-
burn Standard.

HORRIBLE OUTRAGE.—The Journal de Lot-el-Garonne
mentions a horrible outrage as having been committed on the
18th instant, at Tonneins, in that department. An inhabitant
of that town, accompanied by his daughter, 21 years of age
and of great beauty, a young female friend of hers, and three
young men of their acquaintance, had been enjoying an even-
ing walk by the river side, and were returning home across
tho fialde when they were attacked by eight or ten men, who
at once declared their intention of possessing themselves of
the persons of the young women. A desperate conflict en-
sued ; four of the ruffians kept the young men at bay, while
the remainder set on the father and two girls. They soon
forced his daughter from his arms, and dragged her away,
while her father who was an invalid, hung on by her dress,
and was drawn along the ground. One of the men turned
round, and, giving him some violent blows on the head, left
him for dead. They then carried the poor young girl to a
great distance across the open country, until they arrived at
a house, where a woman allowed them to enter; and where
they perpetrated their atrocious crime on their victim. In
the meantime the other young woman had escaped after some
bad treatment, and, running to the river, concealed herself
among some rushes on the bauk,in which place she was after-
wards found. The three young men had defended themselves
courageously against their assailants, who were considerably
stronger, and one of them, armed with a poniard, wounded
two of the ruffians so badly that they succeeded in capturing
them, while the two others escaped. Information was im-
mediately given to the gendarmerie of Tonneins, and they set
out in quest of the young woman who had been carried off.
The father was found and brought back; and at lingth they
discovered his daughter sitting under a tree, to which, after
the villains turned her out of the house, she had with great
difficulty dragged herself. Independently of the wounds and
other severe injuries which she had received, her ears had
been slit by the pulling out of her ear-rings by violence,
and her ravishers had forced her rings off her fingers
with their teeth, leaving her hands dreadfully lacerated. She
was conveyed back to Tonneins in a most dangerous condi-
tion. The men who had been guilty of this diabolical at-
tempt, with the exception of the two .already mentioned, had
not been arrested. The utmost indignation and excitement
is stated to prevail at Tonneins and in the surrounding dis-
tricts.—Galignani.

'artets.

LIVERPOOL COTTON MARKET, AUGUST 1.

There has been less doing in Cotton the last few days, and
holders have yielded id to id per lb. in the prices of American ;
whilst other descriptions are without alteration : the sales yesterday
were 3000 bales, and to-day 3500: American 6id to 9d, Pernams
9d to 91d, Bahia 8d to gad, Maranham Sid to 91d, Egyptian lid to
131 d, and Surat aid to