Star.
London, England, 1826-08-11 00:00:00

Here he seated himself subs central table, and his bask
to the light, as bygone beauties ars apt to do. i note
dined with a certain German princess, at a certain house
'on the banks of Thames, to which a subsequent resi
dent gave rnuc's temporary celebrity. The German
princess had been a limonite toast in her day, hut that
day was forty years ag0..., -Accordingly 'her 1-I;ghness
manteuvred to avoid frolting the light, with all the
skill of an admiral getting the weather gunge. The
contrivance answi red so well, that I did not look upon
her as being older than two and forty; when suddenly
a city barge, intent upon swan-hopping, sailed up the
river. Her Highness was thrown off her guard ; the
beckoned me to the window to behold the gilded and
turtle-fraught vessel; Apollo 'looked her.full in the face:
I did the same; and ter Highness shewed seventy•two!
A similar accident nearly occurred to Sir Jerk. Hefted
ambled to another table to fetch away a Transatlantic
Review. The canvass blind was down, and just as Sir
Jerk was stooping to bear off his prite, an unlucky
waiter, conceiving that the room wanted more light,
touched a spring. The blind flew isp ; the slanting
sus darted his rays from the apex of Warwick-house
into the Baronet's face. Exit bloom ; enter wrinkles :
and I verily believe if the Ciub, like that of the Univer-
sity, had admitted Ladies, Sir Jerk would have hurled
the waiter out of the window, across the street, even
as Rotiontont, in Ariosto, ejected the friar dove miles
into the Me.'iierranean.

Hardly had S r Jerk Withers smoothed his riitil.rd
plums, when General Fitz Meadows, an old :drool-
fellow of the Baronet, entered the club-room, and placed
himself at the same table with the latter. " Ay,"
thought I to myself, as I surveyed their contrasted ex-
teriors, " this is what a Gentleman of sixty ought to
be." The General's head is bald at the top, and the
hair, which curls above the ears, is for the most part
grey. His face is ruddy with exercise, and not with
rouge. His body swells towards the base, as Nature
means most Gentlemen's bodies at his afe to swell.—
This is a matter of no moment to him. ale does nit,
like his friend the Baronet, pinch his unhappy loins in
stays, and procure a slight dim'nution of bulk in that
quarter at the expense of causing his face to look as red
as a turkey-cock, and his eyes to half start from their
sockets. The fact is, patching never does any gond. I
have seen a dandy at the corner of Hamilton place try-
ing to sub a stray splash from his Russia-duck trousers,
and thus converting a splash into a ,mear. A bald
'head at sixty is worth all the foretops in Wigmore-street.
Tuve is nothing like an honest deect.
Piz-Meadows now read aloud from a Morning
Paper an account of a recent riot in Dablin, where all
business was suspended in consequence of a mariner in
the Liffy having suspended an orange streamer from
his mast-bead. 44 Happy people !" exclaimed the Ge-
neral, " to have nothing more serious than this to dis-
turb their repose ! By the by," continued Fitz-Meadows;
speaking across the table to Sir irk Withers, "this
rio ing reminds me of the riots in London in the year
1730. You and I, Withers, were at that time at Mer-
chant Tailors school. Let me see—yes—we were about
fourteen years of age. If you recollect, we sto`e out to
see the fun, and saw a baker shot in the Old Jewry.—
Everybody was obliged to chalk' No Popery' upon their
doors. Old Delpini the clown, being a Catholic, could
not in conscience do this. He theie!oie chalked Up,
4 No Religion!' It is the business of a public performer
to please all tastes.! While Fitz-Meadows was thus
chionaloga'ng, a party of young Ladies, although the
Club was not an University one, were actually within
ear-shot, escorted by a new member, who Way shew ng
' thenAkthe Union-Lions. Reader, did you ever see John
Kemllle, in the sty; ser scene of Macbe h, c itch the
intrusive murderer by the arm, and stop his narrative
by exclaiming.—" There's brood upon thy Lice !"
luckily for you, ydu are too young so to have done, I
can oaly say you should have been a member of the
Union tat Wednesday last, and should have been a
witness of the action and look of the proprietor of a
young head upon old shoulders on the occasion in cp:ei-
tio 1. You might then have formed a very correct
notion of what mi:chief a mal-apropos topic may some-
times produce.