Star.
London, England, 1829-11-03 00:00:00

PROGRAMME

An. 'TIE FIRST OPENING ENTERTAINMENT TO RE
ELD AT 'nil,. NEW LODGE OF TUE GREAT PORTER
AT sIYDE PARK GATE.

First.—The visitors arriving at seven, are to be received in
the court by three companies of feet—a squadron of hone, and
piece of heavy artillery, with lighted matches, commanded by
veterans distinguished at the Manchester Massacre, and the superb
" feu de joie" in honour of the late Queen's funeral. Next, lining
the passages and staircases, three companies of the New Police
Grenadiers, armed with Congreve rockets, and battle axes. com-
manded by Sir Hamar HAZIMiCIi, dressed like a Hetman of Cos-
sacks.—On the first landing-place, a company of poor Knights and
Beefeaters, in new uniforms—borrowed for the occasion from
Windsor Castle.

In the Hall of Audience, gorgeously decorated, in a second-hand
chair of state, once appertaining to NAPOLEON BUSAPAaTg, before
which, the statue of the quondam hero, laid prostrate, serves as a
footstool—the great Porter, dressed in ;purple robes, will receive

his guests.
Ist.—Tbe Foreign Ambassadors, each between two trumpeters
blowing a flourish, are to be ushered into his august presence—
when they, in succession, will thank him, in the names of their re-
spective masters, in long set speeches, for his very disinterested and
obliging policy. Prince Unveil, in particular, will thank him for
the possession of Turkey—and EITZIMIAZY for 'sew Italy and old
systems. The Pore's Secret Envoy, and his Excellency the
Marquis n'Asszca, the first in grand pontificalibus,—the oche
in the new splendid uniform of the Heromoos-do-coridades o

the Holy Portuguese Inquisition.—are to kiss his person
sessewhere in the name of Lso the extinguisher-.and Miaust.

the bloody : then the great Lord Assaosas ushered In
with the barbarous music of a Scotch feudal pibroch, dressed in
uniform of the Austrian Guards, is on his knees to present the
Great Porter with the Order of St. Machiavel, and the picture
of Nmsasneu, set in diamonds, after the fashion of slignelite
sword•hilts. After this touching ceremony, the august Se-
cretary Pen., with slashed sleeves and red heels, preceded by
two parish clerks, singing " Mother dear Jerusalem," is to pro-
strate himself before the Great Porter, upon which with
universal acclamation, he wiU be crowned with a paper coro-
net. Next Lord McLean', in a family coat worn by his late
father, remarkable for its prodigious pockets—hardly hid by a con-
venient Scotch cloak, and his neck adorned with a portrait of his
dear friend, and honoured patron, his Royal Highness the kg
Duke of Oranges, marching with his usual great strides towards
the best place, is to be ushered in by a Scotch bag-piper, to the
sweet air of—

" The Jake's dog o'er my daddy."
Next in order, his honor the interesting Lord I.IIIIIHUAST, attired
in solemn robes, with a huge pair of mustachios, and an enormous

sword by, his side, which once appertained to the great Judge
Jefferies—silently preceded by the Ordinary of Newgate, and the
Governor of the King's Bench—will present his new work against
the liberty of the press, bound in calf, and backed in crimson.
Then, a detached troop of the new administration in jack boots
and spurs, under their various robes of office, will step in, to the
march of "the British Grosedier si" the rear will be closed by a
band of fantastic dancers, leading in an old white Lioss, surly, but well
muzzled, and ridden by two hideous monkies, one dressed in /awn,
the other attired with shreds of money bags j the first to be called—
perhaps in ridicule of a certain Greek General foolishly devoted to
freedom—" crazy church," the second, "old Hunks." This page-
ant is meant to represent the submission of certain ferodous eae-
■ties of the Great Porter—es he is dragged forwards growling at
every step, the guests are expected to point at him with derialoa—
when—being obliged to dance with a long pole, and show his teeth
to the ladies, his keeper will strike up the old elegant air of

" Ye croppies of Dublin,
" I bid you take care!"
Next in procession will be seen that retiring beauty,Mr.Husetelos,
with the model of a monumental statue to the honour of the late
" Galata Caminito" carried behind him, with its head downwards.
The faltering ex-Minister, blushing to the eyes, will advance with
a broken irresolute step, and a face like the picture of Gamma be-
tween Tragedy and Comedy. He will be Addled in by Mr. His-
aims, to the tune of the " Rate of Bray." Nest. Lord Geneva-
:ton will enter with an Ode in praise and glory of the great man
set to" Gad save She ruse accompanied by the Royal band. The
Duke of Newcants will follow at the bead of hisTaumby, dressed
in the venerable mall of an old English Baron, in times anterior to
that unfortunate day—Runnemede—while a vassal, marked on the
forehead with the Newcastle Arms, and locked up in an iron
collar, bearing this motto, " What I lake with my elm," will lustily
accompany his Grace, on a crazy buena, to the old Scotch jaeobite
air of " Awn !Whigs, Awa." Next, a shoal of Lords and Ladies—
noble panders, demireps, and black-legs, redolent of musk, and ful-
some with adulation, each bearing this devise—" Down with the
Constitistion"—will scramble servilely to his feet.

Dressed in a berrotool cast-oil' livery of the King's household,
the Editor of the " Courier" will do himself the honour of offici-
ating amongst the lacquies to serve up trifle and capilaire. The
Gentlemen of the " Morning Journal" in various odious, but well-
laced liveries, worn with effrontery and nonchalance, will
attend to tambourine the White Lion round the rooms, and
join chorus with Newcaa tle, or others, unable with any credit
to sing for themselves—the Editor of the' Tames," likeianus with
two faces, will stand superciliously at the dour, with one foot in,
and one foot out, attired in a fancy motley coloured coat, wit► a
thermometer in bis hand, to regulate the temperature of the apart-
ment, from his Pig-like faculty, of seeing winds from whatever
point they blow, and his admirable art of humouring them ; the
ventilators will be placed under his direction. The" Morning Pest"
will assist Townsend, in helping the guests through the crowd—wln
call lacquie. and carriages at their departure. The Sunday bee-
penal& will be engaged by Sir R. Brants to watch the blackguards
and pickpockets—" set a thief to catch a thief." At a certain hour
the Great Potter will dismiss his Court, with the "BeguisMarek,"
when be will retire, at the head of a select party, to the banquet.
ring room, amidst transporting cheers, to the march of the
Cosigassind Geri"—when what shall follow will be detailed in a
future number.


The Bavarian Minister, Count MUNSTER, Count
MOSTVCEW ITZ, Monsieur ROTH, and Monsieur de
NF.UMAN N, were of the dinner party given by the Duke
of WELLINGTON on Sunday evening, at his residence in
Downing-street.
The Mexican Minister Don MANUEL GOROSTIZA,
gave a dinner yesterday, at his house in Piccadilly, to
Mr. MACLE the Ambassador from the United States,
Mr. WASHINGTON Inv , and several eminent lite-
rary characters.
In pursuance of the system of economy enforced by.
the Duke of WELLINGTON, the Scottish and Irish
Boards of Excise have received circulars from the
Lords of the Treasury, announcing that these Boards
are to be entirely dispensed with, and directing ac-
counts to be wound up as soon as possible. The Ex-
cise and Customs departments in Scotland will then cor-
respond directly with the Board in London. The mea-
sure will effect a saving of about 60,0001. a-year.
A matrimonial alliance is whispered in the foreign fa-
shionable circles as likely to take place between a Conti-
nental Princess of high rank, fashion, beauty, and accom-
plishments, and a certain Duke of amiable manners and
large estates in this country, but who has always been
supposed, from family or other circumstances, to be the
most unlikely person in the world to load any female to
the altar.—Berkshire CAronicle.

THE GENERALISSIMO of the NEW POLICE

" if Heaven will snatch my sword out of my band
And put a rank in it, what can I do ?"
BrAostorr and FLETCHZIL Moral Representations.'

Haying" vanquished the victor," as CASTLERIAOII raid,
And gloriously " conquered the peace of the world,"
The laurel now idly encircles nay head,
For the banner of war is no longer unfurrd.

M y sword has got rusty—my baton's thrown by—
My telesccpe's broken—my charger's at grass—
And I think, of ennui I sh,.uld certainly die,
If it were not for studying th- stars—in my glass.
All sports and gymnastics, in turn I've essayed—
You'll but few of my age so expert at the latter see ;
As for sharp-shooting—once I split balls on a blade—
But my 'hand was quite out, when I last tried at Battersea.
At drawing the long-bow, the world I defy,
And no mime ever matched me as lord of misrule;
And sometimes at Cabinet-making 1 try—
But my friends all declare I'm a terrible tool.
I've now got a whim, for my hnlyday gambols,
Combining the martial details of the camp
With such sport as Krim CHARLES never knew in his rambles.
When incog. through the city at midnight I tramp.
Having long since exploded all farcical notions
Of national right—as a matter of course—
I'm determined to quell all internal commotions
By an organized—warlike—gendarmerie force.
In short, In the popular name of " Police"
I'll muster a legion to settle dissention ;
A legion of Britons ! —who yet, like true Swiss,
Shall war against Freedom, for pay and fur pension.
And when, in the heat of nocturnal alarms
Through St. Giles 's I lead them in order of battle,
I shall feel all the Soul of the Hero in Arms, .
When I'm trundling the truncheon, and springing the rattle
Nov. 3, 1829. PETER SCHLEMIHL.
• " He thought the measures necessary to secure the peace which
this country had conquered."—Defeale on the Alien Bill.

FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.

CHA GES.

The Duchess of Kent and Princess Victoria, from Broadstairs,
to the Earl of Winchester's seat in Kent ; the Marquis of Titchbeld,
from Harcourt House Cavendish-square, for the seat of the Duke
of Portland, at Welbeck, in Nottinghamshire; the Marquis and
Marchioness of Salishury, in Hanover-square, front Earl Cowper's
seat, Pansenger, Hens ; the Marquis and Marchioness of Exeter,
at their seat, Burleigh, Lincolnshire, from Newmarket; the
Dowager Marchioness of Salisbury, In Arlington-street, from Sir
Gore Ouseley's seat, Claremont, Hens; Earl and Countess Gower,
from the Marquis of Stafford's seat, Trentham Hall, Staffordshire,
for their seat in Salop ; the Countess of Guilford and the Ladies
North, in Piccadilly, from a tour ; Lord and Lady Sheffield, and
the Hon. Captain Legge, in Portland-place, from liamsgate ;
Lord and Lady Churchill, from Newmarket, for their seat in
Oxfordshire; Lady Welkaley, at the Dowager Riachincess of
Salisbury's in Arlingtoll-street, from Vienna ; Sir J. Chetwode,
Bart. in Montagu-square, from a tour ; Mrs. Evelyn, in Glouces-
ter-place, from a tour ; Major and Mrs. Maxwell, for Bath ; Mr..
Hartman, in Devonshire-place ; Captain Curtis R.N. in Brook-
street, from the Mediterranean • Mr. A. C. Johnston, in Glou-
cester-place; Colonel and Mrs. Heron, in Piccadilly, from Paris;
Baron Below. in Cumberland-place, faom Brighton ; Lieutenant-
Colonel Henry Stewart and Mrs. Stewart, in Bruton.street,
Berkeley-square, from Paris; Lady and Miss Smith, in Harley-
street, from Paris ; Major-General Macdonald, in Bryanston.
square; Captain and Mrs. Herbert, for Windsor; Capt. Percival,
of the Guards, front Paris, to Windsor ; Mr. Lewis J. Curtis, in
Gloucester-place ; Major and Mrs. Maitland, from Brighton, for
Bads ; J. S. Lumley, Esq. M.P. in Park-street, trout a tour ; the
Comte de Montrond and the Duc Peiro, from Earl Cowpet's seat
Pansenger.
•

CITY. TWELVE o'CLocE.

Consols, which left off yesterday at 90i, 91 for Aloney, and
91 to i for Account, opened at the same price this morning, and
love continued since at 91 for Account alternately, buying and
selling, with little or nothing doing. The Foreign Market is also
in a state of stagnation. Prices nominal as yet.