The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1852-09-28 00:00:00

VII., in l

histor

of the-Church's constitution, as in preceding parts

Guide t

zstralia and the Gold Regions
hant. Liverpool : H. Young

By a Liverpool Me

This is a v

and NI

much
rlocira

m as any ordinary emigrant can
about the colony but the way of

getting there. The press teems with guide-books,
and they cannot all be expected to contain novel-
What we most desire is truth and common
sense, and this one appears to possess both.

NEW

MUSIC

A Good Old English Cheer; written by S. P.
Goddard, composed by J. Emery, jun. (London :
D'Almaine and Co.) This is a right hearty, spi-
rited song, with a very suitable accompaniment.
When sung by a rich harytone voice, it will prove
Beware of the Gipsies, and

exceeding]

effective

Maiden Beauty ; written by C. Swain, composed by
G. Simpson (London : D'Almaine and Co). Songs
of very unequal merit, by the same composer.
former is much the feebler of the two, but w

when the duet i
Beauty"

yen with nerve. The
s exceeding)

Maiden

sweet

ARIETIES

A GRAVE-YARD THAT CAN NEVER BE OVERCROWDED.
—Oblivion—where there is always room for whatever has
to be buried there.—Punch.
" WHEN SHALL WE THREE MEET AGAIN ?" .as the
Up, the Down, and the Luggage train said, when they
all ran into one another at the junction.—Punch.
WEALTH AND TALENT.—Gross and vulgar minds will
always pay a higher respect to wealth than to talent; for
wealth, although it be a far less efficient source of power
than talent, happens to be far more intelligible.
BEAUTIFUL CUSTOM.—It was an ancient custom to
bury the young at morning twilight; for as they strove to
give the softest interpretation to death, so they imagined
that Aurora, who loved the young, had taken them to her
embrace.
To KEEP PART OF A BOTTLE OF PORTER BRISK.—
Put in the cork, and set the bottle up end down in a
tumbler or any other vessel of water. The porter, it is
said, will open as fresh the next day, or any number of
days after, as when first uncorked.
SHORT DRAMA IN TWO SCENES.—First Scene; Mil-
lionaire seated in an easy chair. By him stands a poor
man, in a supplicating attitude. Millionaire—" Ahem 1
Very sorry, my young friend, that I can do nothing for
you. But I can give you a word of good advice—econo-
mise !" Poor man—" But when a man has nothing to—"
Millionaire—" Nonsense ! Under certain circumstances,
a man must know bow to save." Second Scene : The
Millionaire drowning in a pond : the poor man calmly re-
garding him from the shore. Poor man—" Sorry, my
friend, that I can't do nothing for you, but I can give you
a word of good advice—swim !" Millionaire (choking)—
" Bub-bub-but wh-wben a man can't swim !" Poor man
—" Nonsense ! Under certain circumstances, a man
must know how to swim."
OUR DINNERS.—It is a vulgar notion that a dinner to
be good must be expensive—a fatal mistake, preventive
of much social enjoyment. To say nothing of those

_
" Who think less of good eating than the whisper, nuscripts, and they would find all the essential doctrines
When seated near them, of some pretty lisper,', of the Bible in it. Let every disputed passage be blotted
nine-tenths of the recipients of a grand state dinner,
out, and not one vital truth of Christianity would be af-
d.
formal and costly, would infinitely prefer a fish, a joint, fecte
Turning next to the language of Scripture, the lecturer
"Boys, 'tis little I care to dine observed that it was the language of phenomena. This
Where the host is vain and the guests are fine,
was the nature of human language. If words did not re-
Where the wines are warm and the dishes cold, present the appearance of things, we could not convey our
And the mutton is young and the spinsters old." thoughts at all. As knowledge increased men came nearer
Some of the most delightful dinners in memory have been and nearer to describing things as they really were; but,
• - simplest—all wit, fun, and good sense, with merely even at the best, language must be the description of
'e." " Cheerful looks make every dish things as they appeared. This was illustrated by the
The very essence of a dinner is absence of
account of the appearance of the three angels to Abraham.
Half the dinners that one goes to, offer but First they were called "men." Subsequently, when
.stead of flowers : they are but mockeries of Abraham had discovered that one was the Lord
enjoyments, waste of hours, through fear of tyrant Cus-
Jesus Christ, and the others were his attendants,
language
So w
in as changed, and
the case of the we
"sunrise."read of two
The
very few know how to dine so as to insure the greatest
tom and desire to be thought " genteel." Mr. Walker,
the lage
human_
of " The Original," truly says, " Anybody cao dine, but " angels.,
utmost powers ot speech could not invent a single
- would describe the rising of the sun as to its
amount of health and enjoyment." Those who will help word that
society to this knowledge, strangle foolish forms, and
real cause. It could only be done by a long description.
answer the purpose intended. It
substitute for wasteful expenditure good taste, good sense. And even this would not
w. . not indicate the appearance presented by the
—The Builder.
and good humour, should be regarded as its benefactors. would
cnanged position of the earth with respect to the sun ;
whereas ' sunrise" was most accurately descriptive of that
A SEAMAN'S STORY.—A certain elderly lady, dearly appearance. The use of such language in no way affected
loving a dish of chat, never lost an opportunity of partaking the truth of divine revelation. Being the language of
of this luxury. Sitting on a bench on the esplanade at phenomena, it conveyed no inaccuracy to the mind of the
Weymouth, warming her feet in the sun, she addressed a person who took it as the language of phenomena. In
rough-looking old tar who was lounging near, and after this way they might go through every scientific statement
seeking his age, whether he had fought under Nelson, if in the Bible, and demonstrate them all.
he was married, the number of his children, and whether Dr. Baylee next remarked upon the difference between
they had been vaccinated, she proceeded to generalities. the Hebrew and Greek texts, and showed the importance
" You must have seen some wonderful things in your of correcting the one by the other. He also pointed out
travels, Mister Sailor ?" " Yes, warm, I've seed a few."
" I suppose you are familiar with th wonders of the some of the peculiar beauties of the Hebrew arising from
the extreme y ideal and original character of its roots.
l ' • The old boy looked at her, as if taking the rrea. Thus, in the account of the creation, the word " deep "
her faith, turned his quid, and replied, " I believe in English, signified merely a hollow.' But, in Hebrew,'
you, marm. ►Why, I've knowed it blow so hard that it it signified, " the broken up mass," an expression won-
blew the very teeth out of a handsaw, and I've seed fishes derfully suited to the appearance of the crust of this
as big—aye as big as from here to that 'ere flag-staff," earth. The Hebrew word for " earth" signified " run-
(rather more than a quarter of a mile.) " Dear me ! have ner, " conveying the idea, not only of a body, but of a
you indeed ! I suppose those are the leviathans that body in motion. " Light," in like manner, included
Solomon—no, David—mentions. And pray, what do the idea of constantly glowing; and, when it was said
those monsters feed upon ?" " Why, little fnhes, to be that God made two great "lights," the Hebrew
gave us
sure, marm." " But do they eat them raw ?" The to understand that these were not lights in the same
sailor gave a slight cough, hitched up his waistband, and sense, but " dispensers of light," or lamps. Very much
replied, " Raw, mann ! No; every tenth big fish carries was to be learnt from a wise study, even of the words in
to
a kettle on his tail to bile 'em in." "La ! Do they which God had revealed his mind man.
indeed ? And now tell me what else you've seen ?" In further elucidation of his subject, the rev. doctor
" Why I've seed oysters a-growing on trees, (alluding to referred to five different divisions under which it might
the mangrove trees in India, which dip their branches be considered, namely, historical matters, natural objects
deep into the water, and are covered with shell-fish in and science, mental phenomena, doctrinal teaching, and
consequence, presenting a singular appearance when left prophecies. He pointed out, under each of these heads,
bare by the ebbing of the tide.) Up got the old lady, the suitability of the language made use of by the sacred
gave a flourish with her parasol, and a toss of her head, writers, and concluded by reserving the consideration of
as she, with an injured air, replied, " Well, Mister sailor ! the " Interpretation of Scripture" for his next lecture on
I suppose you take me for a fool ; but it is not very civil Friday evening.
of you, I think, to attempt to impose on me in that man-
-T. I wish vou good morning, sir, and away she sailed ...............................
virtuous indignation, believing the untrue portion of THE MUSICAL SHEPHERDS OF AUSTRALIA.—What
~. a narrative, but rejecting that which most approached does the reader suppose is the favourite pastime of a
to probability.—Bentley. very numerous class of the rough customers who find
THOUGHTS WHILE SEWING.—(By an old maid who such ready employment and handsome pay in the grazing

lis of sile

ceremony

dry leaves is

deep
sure o

_ . _
...,uot bear the sex.)—Men sow wild oats, and women and cattle-breeding districts of New South Wales—
buttons.—A man may "do good by stealth," but as for namely, of the shepherds ? Virgil, Florian, and other
his blushing " find it fame," that's all nonsense !—Women great authorities, have impressed us with the conviction
may be guilty of scandal, but, thank Heaven, they are that a certain amount of poetry and sentiment is inse-
never guilty of bills ! at least, I never heard of the parable from the keeping of sheep. But when we learn
instance of a lady rushing about, asking her female that the swains in charge are of the queer sort usually
acquaintance "to do her a little bill !"—The difference is found in Australia—uncouth gentlemen, carrying their
simply this ; women ruin one another with their tongues I " possibles" in opossum rugs, or hired convicts, emanci-
-men with their bills.—The needle is to woman what I gated, expirees, or ticket-of-leavers—the French porce-
the cigar is to man.—Man takes a woman with her dowry lain visions of garlands, swains, ribboned crooks, and me-
in the same way that be accepts the hamper that brings lodious reeds, which our imagination at first conjured up,
him a handsome present of game !—Wives are often fool- melt and change, as in a dissolving view, and we behold,
ish enough to sit up for their husbands, but you hear of smoking their pipes under gum trees, the Aervgate coun-
iery few husbands who have the patience to sit up for tenances of gentlemen whose departure from their coun-
'eir wives,—Man shrinks from cold meat. Does this I try was the greatest benefit they could confer upon it.
of always ruling the
le from man's innate presumption For a tobacco-pipe is the only sort of pipe we can bring
Women, who have not the means of purchasing ourselves to place in the mouths of such shepherds.
-Tresses, console themselves by shopping.—. Men Here, again, our imagination has taken us too far a-field.
-einted to me who were said to be great Rough though his husk may he, the Australian pastor has
7e watched them, and found them to be a soul for harmony. The Jew's harp and the accordion
sreat thinkers—men who evidently thought a great are the instruments of his choice. Their importation and
deal—but then it was entirely about themselves.—Or_ sale, we learn from Colonel Mundy, are immense. " Five
pheus lost his Eurydice by a turn of the head. When a ' hundred accordions, and fifty gross of the harps of Judah,
husband's head is turned now-a-days, it is generally not are considered small investments by one vessel. A shep-
by his own wife, but somebody else's !—Women rarely i herd has been known to walk two hundred miles from a
flatter each other. They flatter men (poor weak things !) distant station of the interior to purchase one of them at
but they imitate one another, and imitation is the highest j the nearest township." There is something appropriate
kind of flattery.--In a dilemma, during the time a man lin the notion of these convict-Corydons entertaining their
has been standing like a fool, fumbling for an excuse, a sheep, and solacing their leisure, with the strains of the
woman will have invented ten thousand.—Mall's lore is ignoble Israelite instrument. We are curious to know
their favourite composers. The strains of the Beggars'
like the moon ; if it doesn't grow larger, it is sure to
Opera should. be popular with them ; and doubtless the
grew less.—The shortest way to a man's heart is down his
of
air of throat.—An old maid's only confidant is her pillow. All
t i! Samuel Hall," are familiar to the auriculars of Aus-
' Nix my Dolly," and the doleful lament
her cares, wrongs, and thoughts, both sleeping and waking,
are confided to its soft embrace. It is the only depository tra ian muttons. These musical sheep-keepers, we regret
and witness of the tears she sometimes sheds over broken to find, are not held iu that degree of esteem in bush and
hopes, More than this, it is a confidant that never mocks pasture, which their assiduous cultivation of a fine and
—never betrays her ! gentle art ought assuredly to secure for them,—Blacktcood .