The Liverpool Standard and General Commercial Advertiser.
Liverpool, Merseyside, England, 1839-06-25 00:00:00

TRUTH.

(For Me Liverpool Standard.)
Immortal Truth, from God to sorrow giv'n,
Pearl of life's sea, and gem that drop't from heay'n ;
Weigh'd in the balance of eternity,
A universe is breath compared with thee ;
Touched by thy wand, the desert will assume
The lines of Eden, bright'ning into bloom ;
Fear and despair before thy presence fly,
And death is swallowed in thy victory ;
Wisdom in thee the friend of men will view ;
Thy foes are all the foes of virtue too :
Thou art the transcript of the Eternal mind,
And finding thee, 'tis God himself we find.

WILL BLOUNT'S ACCOUNT OF THE CHINESE.

My soliloquy was interrupted by my servant announcing
that a sailor wanted the captain, who not being within, he
wished to see me. " Who is he?" said I. " Faith, that 's
more nor I can tell, ma'am ; but he 's mighty uncivil, who-
ever he is." " Ask his name." " Sure I did." " Well?"
" What 's that to you ?" said he. " Shew him up."
" 'Deed an' that 's more nor he deserves. The misthress
desires you to walk up, sir." " Don't sir me, woman,"
said a rough voice ; " keep that for your master." "So I
will, for it s not lost upon him," quickly answered the girl,
who was troubled with what Mathews calls a little of the
last-word-ishness. " I ax pardon, ma'am," said an old
sailor, entering the room, dressed in a shining new suit, with
two gross of buttons on his jacket, a yard and a half of rib-
bon in each shoe-tie of his long-quartered shoes, and twirl-
ing a shining leather hat on his thumbs ; " I just called to
at arter you and the captain." " What ! is it Will Blount ?
Why, where in the name of Neptune have you been these
three years ?" "In Cheney, ma'am." " China! that is a
long voyage. lam glad to see you alive and well, for we
thought you were either dead or drowned." "No such
luck, thank God," replied he, " although I 'ye been very
near both : but I ne'er forgets the captain's kindness to me
vhen I had the jungle fever in Calcutta, vhen I sailed vith
him in the True Briton, the second ship as sailed from Li-
verpool in the Hingee trade." "It is grateful of you,
Blount, not to forget these things ; and as -it will gratify the
captain to know that you are alive and well, sit down till he
comes ; I expect him in every moment, and I am sure he
will be glad to see you."—" Help yourself, Blount," said
I, placing the materials before him, " to a little of the
mountain dew, and then tell me what sort of a voyage you
had." Will seated himself, and began :—" Veil, I'll tell
you 'vhat a 'tis, ma'am ; vith a vest vind I never had worse
veatber in going down channel. 0, it vas wery bad nether.
It blew a gale in old BL,cay's bay as usual ; but, vhen ye
veathered the Cape, all vent on smack smooth enough, and
ye bad a wery good woyage arter, all the vay to Maceo.
.Coming home ve vere becalmed in the Hingine Ocean ; and
before ve made the Land's End, fell short o' provisions.
Stopping a man's grog aboard is bad enough, but vhen it
comes to stopping o' wittals, it 's wery hard. Vell," says
he, taking his glass, holding it up, looking at it, and then at
me, " here 's the captain's good health, and God bless him !
and here 's towards your wery good health, ma'am.—That's
wery good vhisky," said he, with a " hough." Not being
aware of its strength, he drew the sleeve of his shining jacket
across his lips, and regained his breath. " And now tell me
how you like the Chinese ?" " Don't like 'em at all—never
knowed one of 'em as vas good for anything yet. They are
all a set of chop-sticking, tea-drinking, thieving rascals."
" Indeed ! I understood they were a quiet, honest, sober
people." " They be whipped !" said he, remembering where
he was. " They be's a harrogant, himpudant race to call us
barbarians ! and, 'slestials as they call themselves, I s'pose
they vas kicked out of the sun and moon for robbery ; an'
I'll not fail to tell their lunacies so, if ever I comes vithin

hail of the souchong scaramouches agOin." Something had
vexed poor Will, it was evident from this abuse ; and, as he
was filling up tumbler the second, I thought I should hear
the truth bye-and-bye. " Well, but you have not told me
what sort of looking people they ale ?" " Looking ! why
they can't look at all,—how should they ? They have eyes
no bigger than button-holes, and don't know how to open
them yet, like a parcel of blinking, blind pups, vith long tails
like monkeys. They have neither the life of a flea, the soul
of a spider, nor the spirit of a grasshopper; and as for the
women ! Lord love you, ma'am ! they are as poor a set of
tawdry, toddling townies as ever I seed in all my life. I
vould not give my Bess of Battersea for the whole biling o'
them, and she 's-no beauty. Put a smart-rigged Hinglish-
voman alongside 'em, and see how they'll strike. Niggers
is niggers all the vorld over, and you know vhat to do vith
them ; but these tea-making chaps, you don't know that
they are. But I'll tell you, ma'am, how they carved me."
Now we are coming to the grievance, thought I. " I hope
they did not behave ill to you, Blount ?" " Hold on awhile,
and I'll tell you ; and if you can windicate them, it 's more
nor ever a voman in 'England you'd. Our captain vent
ashore von day, wen ye was at Canton, and brings off vith
him two of the Gong marchants, in petticoats and pigtails—
a Mister Loo Chee, and a Mister Yang Fou, his aide-de-
camp, or walley-de-sham I suppose. Mister Loo Chee vos
a visen-faced, venerable-looking old feller, the wery moral
of a little old chap as used to he sitting cross-legged a-top of
my grandmother's tea-pot lid. His chief-mate, Mister Yang
Fou,_ vos the himege of the noddin' mandarin in the tea-shop
on Ludgate-hill. They came to hinspect the ship, and were
pleased, as far as I could judge by their sneaking voices, like
pea-hens, and yell they might, for they didn't go away
empty-handed. As soon as they were gone, I missed a pair
of silver sleeve-buttons, my mother gave me, and my 'Lacco-
box, the last gift of my vife, poor Bess. I little thought,
vhen them ere chaps came aboard, I vos never to see them
arter. I left them on the companion, and I never seed 'em
no more. The ship's company were all honest men, every
man jack of 'em, and knew no more of my traps than the
man in the moon. ` Vell, then,' sic I to myself, I'll tell
You what it is, that ere mandarin man as come out of the
moon has got 'em ; and I'll tell his lunacyship so if ever I
comes vithin hail of him again.' As luck could have it, the
captain sent me ashore with a note to Mister Loo Chee, at
the factory, vith orders to behave myself properly. Vell, I
goes, and the wery first person as I seed vos the chief mate
of the concern, Mister Yang Fou. ` So,' sic I, now I've
done the captain's orders in delivering the note, I have a
little business of my own vith you. So, Mr. Chopsticks,
I'll thank you to deliver up them ere sleeve-buttons and
'bacco-box you stole out of the ship this morning.' He
looked rather afeerd of me, and said something about
Whong kein pow chow.' None of your chow chow,' sis
I ; ' I not going to be choused out of my sleeve-buttons.'
Hangaree bare,' sis he. I know what you mean,' says I ;
' but although I've been twice on the coast of Barbary, that
doesn't follow that I'm a barbarians man. I have axed you
civilly, and expect civility from you ; but if von calls me a
hungry bear again, I'll just take you by that long tail of
yours, and drag you all down the river from Canton to Ma-
ceo." Contong Maceo,' sis he, vith the woi-e of a peevit.
' Come, none of your nonsense, mocking me,' sis I•, hand
out my sleeve-buttons.' 800-tong,' sis he. Yes, buttons,
you booby.' He pointed to pen and ink, for me to write;
but as I writes a queer fist of my own, as nobody else can
read, I wasn't a-going to write and read to please this son of
a slop-bowl. Howsomdever, he kept jabberawhanging there
vithout minding vhat I said to him. The wessel vas to sail
in the morning—so there vas no time to be lost : and as there
vas no wisible sign of their forthcoming, and I vas getting
werry ;vexed, I vas determined to bring young Hyson to his
bearings. So,' sis I, for the third and last time, hand
nut my 'bacco-box and sleeve-buttons, or, by the moon that
made you, I'll have a reg'lar sarch for 'em. Vill you, Mr.
Yang, if you please?' Pang Pekin fou,' said he. 0 ho,'
Isis I ; call me a fool, does 'e? I'll let you see that ;so
here goes.' Vith that I laid wiolent hands on his silk petti-
coat surtout, and gave him a reg'lar mauling ; but there vas
ne'er a pocket of no sort about him. Vell,' sis Ito myself,
' exchange is no robbery, and one good turn desarves ano-
ther.' So I out knife, and vhips off a piece of his tail, vhich
I brought home for you as a curosity, vith a Hindee hand-
kerchief for the captain." Having finished this oration, he
untied the handkerchief, and produced about a foot and a
half of coarse black human hair, platted and tied up after
the Chinese fashion. " Here it is," holding it up, and
shaking it out ; " he didn't miss it then, but I s'pose he 's
found it out by this time. • There it is, ma'am, at your ear-
vice, to put among your gewgaws on the table there." "It
is well you escaped, Blount,' said I ; " for if you had been
caught, you would probably have had your ears cut off, and'
certainly have undergone the bastinado." " I knows that,
ma'am" " But, Will," said I, looking as serious as I
could, " don't you think this cutting off a lock of the Hong
merchant's hair was a proof of your respect for the gentle-
man?" " Respect for him!" echoed Will; " wery like a
vhale ! No • but the head and tail of it is, it is a proof of
my respect for you, ma'am, for they vould sooner lose their
grandfather than their pigtail; and as he made me remember