The Sun.
London, England, 1868-03-24 00:00:00

MARK TWAIN'S EULOGY OF WOMA .V.

At the anniversary of the Washington Corre-
spondents' Club, Mr. Clemens, better known as
Mark Twain, responded to a toast, " Woman, the
prided the professions and thejewel of ours." He said
—" Mr. President—l do not know why I should have
been singled out to receive the greatest distinction
of the evening—for so the office of replying to the
toast to woman has been regarded in every age.
(Applause.) Ido not know why I have received
this distinction, unless it be that I am a trifle less
homely than the other members of the Club. But
be this as it may, Mr. President, I am proud of
the position, and you could not have chosen any
one who would have accepted it more gladly, or
laboured with a heartier goodwill to do the subject
justice, than I. Because, sir, I love the sex.
(Laughter.) I love all the women, sir, irrespective
of age or colour. (Laughter.) Human intelli-
gence cannot estimate what we owe to woman, sir.
She sews on our buttons—(laughter)—she mends
our clothes—(laughter)—she ropes us in at
the church fairs—she confides in us; she tells
us whatever she can find out about the little
private affairs of the neighbours—she gives us
good advice and plenty of it—she gives a piece of
her mind, sometimes—and sometimes all of it—she
soothes our aching brows—she bears our children.
In all relations of life, sir, it is but a just and
graceful tribute to woman to say of her that she is
a brick (Great laughter.) Wheresoever you place
a woman, sir—in whatsoever position of estate—
she is an ornament to that place she occupies, and
a treasure to the world. (Here Mr. Twain paused,
looked inquiringly at his hearers, and remarktd
that the applause should come in at this point.
It came in. Mr. Twain resumed his eulogy.) Look
at the noble names of history ! Look at Cleopatra!
look at Desdemona ! Look at Florence. Night-
ingale Look at Joan of Arc ! Look at Lucretia
Borgia. (Disapprobation expressed.) " Weill"
said Mr. Twain, scratching his head doubtfully,
4, suppose we let Lucretia slide." Look at Joice
Hetb I Look at Mother Eve ! I repeat it, sir, look
at the illustrious names of history ! Look at Widow
Maekree Look at Lucy Stone ! Look at Eliza-
beth Cady Stanton! Look at George Francis
Train ! (Great laughter.) And, sir, I ray with
bowed head and deepest veneration, look at the
mother of Washington ! She raised a boy that
could not lie—could not lie! (Applause.) But he
never had any chance. It might have been different
with him if he had belonged to a newspaper corre-
spondents' club. (Laughter, groans, hisses, and
cries of " Put him out." Mark looked around
placidly upon his excited audience, and resumed.)
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a
woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to
the world. As a sweetheart she has few equals, and
uo superiors. (Laughter.) As a cousin she is con-
venient ; as a wealthy grandmother, with an incur-
able distemper, she is precious ; as a wet nurse, she
has no equal among men ! (Laughter.) What,
sir, would the people of this earth do without
women ? They would be scarce, sir. Then let us
cherish her—let us protect her—let us give her our
support, our encouragement, oar sympathy—our-
selves, if we get a chance. (Laughter.) But, jest-
ing aside, Mr. President, woman is lovable, graci-
ous, kind of heart, beautiful—worthy of all respect,
of all deference. Not any here will refuse to drink
her health right cordially, for each and every one
of us has personally known, and loved, and hon-
oured the very best of them all—his own mother
(Applause.

Mapp, the agricultural labourer, who murdered
a young girl at Longden, in Shropshire, in December
ast, was sentenced to death at the Shrewsbury assizes
yesterday.
lADVERTISEMENT.)—Du Barry s Delicious Health Restoring
Revalenta Arabica Food, which contains three times the
nourishment of the best meat, saves fifty times its cost in other
remedies, restores perfect digestion, strong nerves, sound lungs,
healthy liver, refreshing sleep, functional regularity, and energy
to the most disordered or enfeebled, removing speedily and
effectually indigestion (dyspepsia), habitual constipation,
diarrhoea, haemorrhoids, liver complaints, flatulency, nervous,
ness, biliousness, fevers, sore throats, catarrhs, colds, influenza
noises in the head and ears, rheumatism, gout, impurities, erup-
tions, hysteria, neuralgia, irritability, sleeplessness, acidity, pal-
pitation, heartburn, headache, debility, dropsy, cramps, spasms,
nausea, and sickness, sinking fits, coughs, asthma, bronchitis,
incipient consumption, scrofula, tightness of the chest, pains at
the pit of the stomach, between the shoulders, &c. We quote a
few out of 68,000 cures :—The Pope's health restored by Du
Barry's Food.—Cure No. 63,413. "Rome, July 21, 1866.—The
health of the Holy Father is excellent, especially since, aban
Boning all other remedies, he has confined himself entirely to
Du Barry's Revalenta Arabica Food, of which he consumes a
plateful at every meal. It has produced a surrisingl bed'
cial effect on his health, and his Holiness cannot pray ise n
this
excellent food too highly."—From the " Gazette du Midi," July
25. Cure No: 49,832.—"0f fifty years' indescribable agony from
dyspepsia, nervousness, asthma, cough, constipation, flatulency,
spasms, sickness at the stomach, and vomiting." Maria Joly,
Wortham, Ling, near Diss, Norfolk.—Cure No. 47,1.1.—Mi5s
Elizabeth Jacobs, of Nazing Vicarage, Waltham Cross, Herta,
pf extreme nervousness, indigestion, gatherings, low spirits,
and nervous fancies. Important Caution.—Beware of tho many
unsavoury and more than sloppy imitations to which, without
authority, Baron Liebig's name is most audaciously attach ed
ln tins at ls. 14d.; 1 lb:, 2s ;'2 lbs., 4s. 6,1,; b lbs. 1114;
12 lbs., 225.; '24 lbs. 403.—BeituY Du BAisaY and Co., No. 77,
Regent-street, London; also Fortnum and Mason, 182, Piccadilly
nd at 61, Gracechurch-street; 4, -Cheapsicle; 63, 150, and 288,
OzNig-titivet• 030 Strand; sad au smug and cheraiata,

.ae state of the weather at F'utney_oaLMOAday wp not
such as to give a very cheerful reception tl the 041-o-id and
Cambridge crews on their arrival:'` A cold ad bitter
wind brought great storms of hail down the Thames, and
so far agitated the surface of that prince of rivers as to
render the experiment of going off in an outrigger con-
siderably more dangerous than delightful. After three,
however, when the tide had been for some short time
turned, the wind abated, and there was sufficient of ca'.m
to warrant the Cantabs in starting on their first voyage
over the established course. They had arrived at the Star
and Garter earlier in the day, and from that inn they
came up to the boat-house as soon as there was a reason-
able chance of getting to work. A few score spectators
had gathered about the boat-houses and on the towing-
path, but the day was so extremely cold that the atten-
dance of visitors was more limited than usual. The
appearance of the eight light blues was, as a matter of
course, closely scrutinised as they brought out their
last year's boat and got her afloat. At present
they do not impress the critics most favour-
ably. While there are at least three undeniably good
men in the boat, there are two as to whom knowing
people do say they are a little weak. There certainly is
not that uniform and tolerably equal distribution of
power which marked the superior crew of last year. They
are under the direction bf Mr. T. S. Egan, who, on seeing
his men in their places, took his seat in the stern of the
boat to steer them up the river. A quiet and easy start
was made, and, going athwart the stream, they went
slowly and pretty evenly to the Craven Point. It was
at once observed that the stroke was longer and slower
than has been the wont at Cambridge ; but there is
not as yet any great display of additional force. In fact,
the boat went at first rather feebly up against the ebb
and the cross wind. They rowed to the Ship at Mortlake,
where Mr. Egan gave up his place to Mr. Warner, the
coxswain, and the boat trimmed for a strong pull down
with the tide. When warmed to the work, the Cantabs
came away at a very good pace, doing thirty-three strokes
in a minute, and rowing in the latter part of the course
and up to the finish almost as one man. Their first
performance, if not altogether assuring, was certainly not
otherwise than. creditable. It is evident that they hi...
trained hard, and that in the matter of physical condition
they are more likely to come to the post too fine than
too fresh. The reverse of that holds good with regard to
the Oxford crew. As they walked from the White Lion
to their boat, about half-past four, they certainly had more
of the looks of eight tolerably jolly members of the London
Rowing Club going out for an hour's pull than those of
men half trained for a great race. While the eight are
pretty nearly equal in stature, the elders of the crew are—
not to put too fine a point upon it—fat. They will have
to do hard work and Ranting, with some closeness of
application in order to get down to racing form in the fort-
night that intervenes between this and the day of the race.
Still, the old power of Oxford is evident among them ;
and there is really nothing beyond the freshness just
noticed, either in the crew or the rowing, to chew any
falling off from the high standard of former excel-
lence. In the absence of Mr. Ross, who is in the hands
of the doctor, No. 3 oar was taken by another gentle-
man, and, with Mr. Tottenham to steer, the eight went
leisurely up against tide as far as Chiswick Church. Their
manner of going was distinguished by the well-known
characteristics of the Oxford boat ; nor was there to be ob-
served any particularly weak point in the rowing. There
is room for a little more " dressing" to be perfectly even
in feathering. From Chiswick Church the dark blues came
down at a smart rate, doing thirty-five strokes per minute
off the Craven Point, and rowing up to the Aqueduct in
good style.