The Sun.
London, England, 1868-05-14 00:00:00

THE INDIAN BULB.

One of the greatest pests to be met with in any
country is the bore. Lilo the flea and the bug, the
species in its varieties is found in every region,
from Sweden to Australia. The bore of society
is known wherever he goes by the inroads he makes
on conversation, by the unsatisfactory feeling of
dulness which he always produces, and by his own
careless indifference to the ravages he causes. Per-
haps the last trait in this portrait is the one by
which the bores of all ages and countries may be
defined. They are quite unable to perceive that
their company is not relished. This definition in-
cludes• both the talkative and the silent or lazy
bore. The former is perhaps the most annoying; the
latter the most interesting. The noisy bore always
makes his real character known by his chatter-
ing, just as some little birds let their nests be dis-
covered by their chirping inside. Young men are
sometimes imposed upon by him, taking him for a
great man; he is often egotistical, and overpowers
them by the account of his wonderful exploits. But
let this kind of bore beware when he meets a man
of the world who can sound his depths or rather his
shallows ; the bore is oftentimes unwittingly drawn
out in order to be identified and proclaimed as
such. Solomon in his wise experience of hu-
manity appears to have encountered this variety,
and adopted this criterion of judgment. Ileuce
the proverb, " When he that is a fool talketh
by the way, his wit faileth him, and he saith
to every man that he is a foo'." He cannot
help letting the cat out of the big. Some
philosophers have said that to look wise is
often the only thing requisite to being esteemed
as such ; this may be a useful caution to the noisy
bore, but we believe with Solotnoa that he is gene-
rally incapable of such self-restraint. In India he
is generally found at the mess-table. He inflicts
the same old stories every guest night, and what is
still more nauseous he is fond of airing his weak
and foolish politics before men of calm thought.
He delights in a kind of antithesis which puts his
opinion at variance with everybody else. He puts
down all science by what he calls " common sense,"
or " standing to reason." Having no antecedents
creditable to him, he is fond of telling what he would
do in case of an emergency ; just as bad bargains in
the Civil Service excuse their want of diligence and
capacity by pretending to a latent ability which can
only be developed by circumstances. All this class
come under Solomon's category of men who insist
on making their own stupidity matter of common
notoriety. The silent or lazy bore differs from
the one just described, in being a private rather than
a public nuisance. In mixed companies and gene-
ral societies he cf ten gets on very well. There are
so many people anxious to talk that a listener re-
ceives a great deal of gratitude, and thus it fre-
ineptly happens that the silent, and, it may be,
very ignorant, man becomes the arbitrator iu con-
versation. Both parties are talking at him, and
hence he is for the time placed upon a pinnacle, and
settles which of them is right. As we said before,
it is in small companies that the silent bore shows
his real nature. He may be at the same camp with
another officer in the jungle. His tame and com-
monplace nature has no powers of amusement ; like
a snail, he is a mere pulp with no vigorous develop-
ment of nerve. He is still more trying as a guest,
in a private house, especially in India ; he always
overstays his time; he never takes a hint that he
ought to be going. He is too stupid to talk, too
lazy to play billiards, and he makes no return in
amusement for the hospitality he receives. He is
only induced to quit by the host making a feiut of
going to the districts, or pretending that other
people are coming to stay with him. Then the ob-
stinate bore begins to see that his room is more de-
sired than his company. So tormenting is his be-
haviour that we have often heard him described by
Evangelical ladies as a " cross," a " trial," or
" thorn In the flesh." The bore ought to be sent
to some social Coventry, or purgatory, or reforma-
tory, and kept there until he has changed his man-
ners, and rendered himself fit for the ordinary in-
tercourse of life.—Bombay Gazette.

Reviewing the state of Ireland and the prospects
of the harvest, the lr:sh Times says that if the season con-
tinues as favourable as at present there is every reason to
believe the crops will be not only abundant, but early.
A WARNING.—Paper currency is established by
law in Brazil, the United States, Austria, Turkey, Italy,
and Russia. In Brazil it is at 50 per cent. discount, in the
United States at 40, in Turkey at 20, in Italy at 15, and in
Russia at 12.—Pall-Mall Gazette.

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