The Sun.
London, England, 1850-07-25 00:00:00

TEST OF AFFECTION.

Mr. Archibald Stanhope, a groggy sentimentalist
residing in Buckley-street, Philadelphia, conceived
the harrowing suspicion that his wife was not as
passionately fond of him as a lady of good taste
should be ; and, to put the matter to a fair trial,
he hit on a little stratagem, which he put in
practice the other day, with the results hereafter
to be detailed. He took a suit of clothes
and composed an effigy of himself by stuffing the
garments with a quantity of straw which had lately
been discharged from an old bed. Having suspended
this figure to a rafter in the garret by means of a
piece of clothes line, he ensconsed himself behind
a pile of rubbish in the same garret, to watch the
effect. After a while his little daughter came up after
a jumping-rope, and caught a glimpse of the sus-
pending figure. She ran down the stairs, screaming
—" Oh ! mother, mother, daddy has hung himself!"
" Now for it," thought Archibald, in ambuscade,
"we shall have a touching scene presently."
" Hung himself ?" he heard Mrs. Stanhope repeat,
as she walked leisurely upstairs ; "he hasn't got
pluck enough for such a thing, or he would have
done it long ago. Well, I believe he has done it,
however," she continued, as the came in view of
Arehibald's straw representative. "Moll," to the
little girl, " I think he ought to be cut down. You
had better go into the kitchen and get a knife, my
dear ; but don't go down too fast, or you might fall
and hurt yourself. S:ay—l forgot—there's no knife in
the kitchen sharp enough. You can go round to
Mr. Homes, the shoemaker, Sixth-street, he s only
two equares off, and ask him to lend us his paring-
knife; tell him to whet it a little before he sends it.
And, Molly, while you are in the neighbourhood,
you can call at your aunt Sukey's, and ask how the
baby is. And, Molly, you can stop at the grocery
store as you come back, and get a pound of seven-
cent sugar. Poor Archy 1" sighed Mrs. Stanhope,
when her daughter had departed, " I hope we'll
get him down before the vital spark's extinct
—far these buryiugs are very troublesome,
and cost money. He wanted to put an end to him-
self too; and I think I ought to let him have his own
way fur once in his life; he used to say that I was
always acrossing him. I wish he hadn't spoiled
the new clothes-line—an old rope might have an-
swered his purpose." Here a voice, which sounded
like that of the supposed suicide, broke in on Mrs.
Stanhope's soliloquy with, " You confounded Jezebel,
I'll be the death of you !" Mrs. Stanhope, thinking
this must, of course, be a ghostly exclamation, uttered
a wild scream, and attempted to escape down the
narrow staircase. Archibald, starting from his place
of concealment, gave chase. Mrs. Stanhope stum-
bled midway on the flight of the stairs, and Mr. Stan-
hope having just reached her and made a grasp
as her dishevelled hair as it streamed backwards, the
amiable partners were precipitated to the bottom to-
gether. Both were rather badly bruised, and the
cries of the lady raised the neighbourhood. Archi-
bald was arrested for making a disturbance and prac-
tising on the tender sensibilities of his wife. He was
recognized in 200 dollars, and jocularly proposed his
suspended effigy as his surety ; but he found, to his
sorrow, "straw bail" was not acceptable under the
administration of Mayor Jones.—Pennsylvanian.

SONINAMBITLISM.—DISTRESSING ACCIDENT. —A.
Jones,of the
most distressing accident happened at the house of Mr.
the
Elizabeth night
I.lsrotuhnigu,stb.uil.,dlebrOuTt taernP°or'icakCthheeshsierreZ'anont ,
aged 15, went to bed, and shortly afterwards Mr. Young's
son was awakened out of his sleep by hearing the most
piteous moans, and the loud barking of a dog which was
chained in the yard. He dressed himself, went down
stairs, and was shocked to find the poor girl lying on the
pavement in the yard, where she had fallen from an attic
through
ugihn
door, a height of eighteen feet. A surgeon was immediately
in attendance, under whose treatment a favourable change
took place, and in a few days she was so far recovered as to
be considered out of danger. The girl had no recollection
h
accident
m us t
bareoccurred,
w al k
walked
dfrot
from
e her probability
bedroom!s
herow the
ep
she
the attic, dear, which, unfortunately, was left open.