The Sun.
London, England, 1868-02-04 00:00:00

OUR AMATEUR PERFORMANCE.

Nothing is easier than fault-finding, and in amateur
theatrical performances the task appears peculiarly feas-
ible. I have had some experience of this truth myself,
for I have been an author, a writer of a burlesque. Ven-
turesome enough it would have been to produce a bur-
lesque in the provinces, having had no London approval,
even with a company of professionals, but to attempt the
thing with a few amateurs, and those of a rather unro-
mantic and unappreciative kind, would appear little short
of madness. Yet we did it, and, if the local papers aro to be
believed,' splendidly too. Of course the local critic was
not such a muff as to bestow upon us unqualified praise,
and he even went so far as to find fault with my metre,
notwithstanding the fact that in the numerous extracts he
appropriated he printed some lines which I could never
find in the original, and that they were never there I of
all people ought to know.
It was determined by the club that I should be requested
to write a burlesque on some fairy tale in any manner I
chose—observe the entire control under which they placed
themselves—provided it was in verso, and plentifully in-
terlardel with puns and break-down dances, and any
monotony conveniently relieved with a travestie of some
music-hall or organ-griuding "popular air." We were all
amateurs, and of course gentlemen. The idea of paying me
for the very trifling trouble requested was not to be thought of
for a moment. The play was to be printed, and no doubt
a fair sum would be realised by the sale of the books atthe
doors, and a proportionate amount of worry entailed upon
me in seeing "the efforts of my muse" through the pro-
vincial press. Of course the entertainments were "in aid
of" something, and tickets began to sell wonderfully when
the date of performance was fixed and published.
Mr. Leamington Cadman kindly volunteered to write
the overture—a very difficult thing, apparently, in these
days, and to be done by vary few professors, considering
the strong family likeness all these compcsitions bear. 1
take this opportunity of paying a tribute of praise to
this gettleman—l am afraid to middle with his
name again—for achieving his task with so much
success as to attract the favourable notice of the Epoch,
which you know is of itself fame. And I say this with
the greater pleasure, forasmuch as the leader of the band,
and the two actresses we engaged from London, were the
only persons in the entire concern who received the com-
mendations of that groat luminary. - But they were pro-
fessionals, you see; and I am told that circumstance makes
all the difference. In fact it was stated, and not a little
indignantly, too, that the gentleman who contributed the
article was never in the theatre at all. But that statement
was the result of ill-nature and vexation, no doubt, for we
know that such conduct on the part of a critic would be
et-cetera'd.

I wonder if a burlesque ever got through the press with-
out a mistake ? I have never seen one ; and if any gen-
tleman who does me the honour to read this article will
tell me where one is to be bad that can boast this distinc-
tion, I will at once purchase it, and preserve it as I would
a dodo, or, let us say, an ichthyosaurus—if I had room for
such a phenomenon. My burlesque had some really fine
typographical peculiarities, and if ever I attempted to per-
petrate a pun at the expense of the ancient Romans, my
printer invariably made havoc of the language of these
former masters of the world, and the Epoch critic, with
praiseworthy reverence, left so delicate - not to say dan-
gerous - a matter wholly untouched.

Couldn't you manage to put a few more puns into it ?"
said ono of the principal performers to me at one of our
"readings." "And I say," said another, "be sure to Mpg
in something about the mayor and the members, and my
big score at cricket."
" What songs are you going to give me ?" inquired the
tenor star. " Good-bye, Sweetheart,' you know is my
masterpiece, and I want awfully to sing own, my
Guiding Star,' if you can introduce it, for between you and
me she's coming to see me perform."
" And then about the actresses. You are going up to
tows, and will see all about that I daresay. And the
dresses you can easily get from Nathan, or some of those
fellows that know all about that kind of thing."

"Oh, bless you, yes," said I. "No difficulty at all.
I've only to make myself personally responsible for the
payment, and the thing is done as neat as ninepence."
" But, I say, you must be sure to get good-looking girls,
you know, or else the fellows won't act half well."
"All right; as if there was such a thing as an ugly
actress."

I had an interview with a young professional lady in
consequence of this extra commission, and my previous
notions concerning good looks were rudely shocked.
She was not good-looking; she was not even passably
noticeable, and therefore not likely to attract. Her Terp-
sichorean achievements were marvellous, I had been told,
and her legs symmetry itself. But 1 could judge only of
the face. It was impossible for me to know how lovely
I -
were her legs, and a proposition to inspect those useful,
and in, her case in a double sense, chiefly supporting mem-
bers, Would no doubt have been met with scorn. But
what was I to du ? I could not tell the young lady she was
not good-looking enough to kindle an amorous ardour iu
the breasts of my amateurs, so I have an uneasy convie, •
tion that I made an ass of myself, and that the young lady
%lterself saw through the thin veil hiding the lie of a pro-
bability of engagement at another interview. Yet she
was engaged,and danced herself into the goodgraeei of ail
afterwards, literally " walked," or rather danced, "in their
affections" gloriously.
The " leading lady," whom we were fortunate enough
to engage, or unfortunate enough, for I for my part did
not coincide with the general opinion of the company
poriormed her part satisfactorily enough ; and that wai
not much to be wondered at, seeing that she contrived by
coaxing one; and whaedliug
,another, to get the original
altered so as to introduce every song and duet in which
she supposed herself excellent. It was in sheer despera-
tion that I sent the thing to press at last, and it is no
wonder " the unities" and all the rest of it were iu a sad
state of preservation. I never could "preserve the unities,"
for I never understood what they meant, and never dis-
covered the approved preserving pickle.
1 The reheareals were the beet part of the thing certainly,

On these occasions the consumption of liquor was awful,
and the amount of fun very great. It is true we had soma
little difficulty in teaching the amateurs their verses, and
the piquancy of some of the puns was not appreciable
by the unscholarly of them. One gentleman insisted on
riding his donkey —trained for the occasion—across the
stage in his character of the galloping suoly. The animal
behaved well enough when his turn came, but before that
time he grow impatient, bz.ayed au an I was only re-
strained from "coming on" by being forcib:yh-ld back by
the tall. it wuul,l be The idea of having a
live jackass on the stage ! lint 1 shcutlu't have mindea
that Sc much if the Drag vu's tica I hadn't 0.0m3 off, and if
the u.,fortu cat am iteur who p.3rsoaated teat fabulons
monster had- no'; been left to do battle with St. George with
his own head, and with a tail manufactured iu Londe%
Nobody liked to undert Ike the Dragon, and hero
was the. good-natured volunteer fur the character
expose 1 to the full ridicule of the house, after being
well might suffocate 1, an 1 without Pe satisfaction of seeing
his name in the bills.

Thee the prompter's box fell down, and I had to take
up a position wherefrom I could b) heard all over the
house. Then a stage war horse became ungovernable,
that is to say, the machinery which attached him to his
human partner in centaurship became disordered, the
heal got awry, and the sham legs came off. These lament-
able disasters were caused by the too vigorous onslaught
of a warrior, armed with a stick and bladder; who, under
the combined influence of bright eyes, bright gaslight, and
perhaps bright champagne, laid about him to such a tune
that we had some difficulty in restraining his worsted
antagonist from "walking into hint" after they came off
the stage.

The Mayor was so pleased at my allusion to him that
he rose in his box and bowed graciously—mayors do not
as a rule bow gracefully—but au uncomplimentary men-
tion of anotter respectable tradesman met with a declara-
tion on his part that he would punch my head whenever
ho should catch me, a gratification in which it is needless
perhaps to say I did not indulge him.
The members, although patrons, did not attend, though
they would have heard nothing to their disparagement.
It was not my business that one had been once ousted for
bribery, and that "the free and independent electors"—
whom ono and all I held up as models of electoral morality
—had once suffered temporary disfranchisement for their
scandalous corruptibility. I gave them the credit of hav-
ing seen the error of their ways, or at least of believing
in the inexhaustibility of members' purses, and they re-
warded " the poor players" handsomely enough by render-
ing our performance a great success. —Racing Times and
Amateur Dramatic Chronicle.

LOSS OF THE CHICAGO.

OFFICIAL REPORT.

To the Right Hon. the Lords of Committee of Privy

Council for Trade.

My Lords,—l have the honour to report that
I have held the inquiry ordered by your Lord-
ships into the loss of the Chicago (screw steamer)
off the coast of Cork, on the 12th of January
last, in which inquiry I have been assisted by
Captains Harris and Baker, as nautical assessors.
The Chicago was built of iron at Jarrow in 1866.
Her gross tonnage was 2,912 tons, and she was re-
gistered at Liverpool of the burthen of 1,980 tons.
She was 332 feet in length, her main breadth was
42 feet, and her depth was 27 feet from her
upper deck. She was owned by Messrs. Ste-
phen Barker Galion, of Liverpool, merchant,
and Charles Mark Palmer, of Newcastle-on-Tyne,
shipbuilder, and she was commanded by Mr. Wil-
liam 111‘Nay, who holds a certificate of competency,
and had a crew of 96 hands all told. She was valued
at £60,000, and had a general cargo valued at
£llO,OOO, and she carried 54 passengers. The
Chicago sailed from New York on the 2d January,
and after a favourable passage across the Atlantic
she passed the Old llead of Kinsale about 20 p.m.
on Sunday, the 12th, when a course was shaped
E. by N. k N. till 4 10 p.m., when she was hauled
up to E N.E. till 4 20 p.m., when the engines
were reluced to half speed, then N.E. till
4 50 p.m., when the engines were stopped.
The weather, which had been hazy during the
afternoon, now settled into a very dense fog,
which prevented them sating more than half their
own length. At 5 p.m. soundings were taken with
la patent deep sea lead by the chief mate, the index
showing 15 fathoms. This he duly reported to the
captain, and they both went below to consult the
chart, the result of which was that they decided to
stand in quite slow, till they got 11 fathoms, when
they purposed to round her to, with her head off
shore, till- the fog cleared. Accordingly, at 510
Ip.m. the engines were started quite slow, and a
quartermaster was ordered to get the hand lead and
go into the chains. Before they could get a cast
the ship had taken the ground, the man being about
to heave it when the look-out reported " breakers
ahead," upon which orders were instantly given
to reverse at full speed, but before her way was
stopped the ship struck at 5.20 p.m.. Attempts
were made to back her off, but they were un-
successful, and the fires were speedily put out by
the water, which rushed into the stoke-hole and en-
gine-room. The boats were at once lowered, and all
the passengers were safely conveyed to land. The
master, his chief and third officers, and some of the
crew, remained by the ship till 11 p.m., when the wind
and sea getting up they thought it unsafe to remain,
and they also went on shore. The following day the
spethe and the passengers' luggage were safely
brought away. Very efficient assistance was ren-
dered by the Coastguard, the constabulary, and all
the authorities, and Lord Fermoy (the Lord-Lieu-
tenant of the county of Cork) kindly and hospitably
aided in the general efforts made for the comfort
and convenience of the passengers and crew. Part
of the cargo subsequently washed ashore, and on the
16th the vessel had broken up. In reviewing the
facts of the case, the Court felt bound to observe
that the master displayed a certain degree of care
and caution in the navigation of his vessel, which
took this disaster out of the category of those reck-
less losses which have too frequently formed
the subjects of its inquiry. But one prominent
feature in this case could not be overlooked. The
master, to whose care was entrusted this valuable
ship and cargo, thought fit to procead, in a very
dense fog, towards land, after obtaining soundings
in 15 fathoms. Even admitting that he ;was in
the position in which he supposed himself to
be, and as, according to the courses said
to be run, he might fairly have so con-
cluded, he must be allowed the benefit of the
admission. Still the Court held that be com-
mitted a default in proceeding further in-shore
in such weather and still more in doing so
without first verifying his assumed position by
another cast of the lead. A prudent commander,
in such circumstances, would undoubtedly have
kept his ship's head off shore till the weather cleared
up. For this default the court felt bound to sus-
pend the master's certificate; but, having re•
gard to certain extenuating circumstances which
presented themselves in this case, as already de-
tailed in the brief narrative cf tha voyage previous
to the disaster, it adjudged a sentence of suspen-
sion for the brief period of six calendar months. In
the course of the inquiry, some evidence was offered
tending to show that deeper water could be found
on this part of the coast, and nearer the land, than
appears by the Admiralty Chart ; but as it did
not affect this case, it is only necessary thus briefly
to allude to it.—l remain, &c.,
T. S. RAFFLES, Stipendiary Magistrate.
Liverpool, Jan. 27, 1868.
We concur in this report.
11Y. 'TARR'S,
lt. B. BAKER, Nautical Assessors.

THE PLOUGII FIELD.—On Thursday last the
annual ploughing match of the By well Society took place
at Nafferton, Northumberland. Upwards of 60 plough-
men competed for the prizes, and as the soil in that neigh-
bourhood is a rich stiff clay, an opportunity was afforded
of showing the very highest class of work under the most
favourable circumstances. The finest ploughing was
that of the champion class, in which all the prizes, in-
cluding a five guinea lever watch, were won with Messrs.
Ransorne's ploughs. In the boys' class some excellent
work was done by the 15 competitors, considering that
they were restricted to the use of 3 ft. mould-boards, and
here again the first prize, a silver watch, was won with one
of the o.l3.loiniplenlelag.