The Sun.
London, England, 1850-02-13 00:00:00

ADVERTISING FOR A WIFE.

The gossips of Bristol have been much enlivened,
and half the tea-tables furnished with small-talk, by
the publication of some correspondence which has
passed between a young man, assuming the name of
llorace lleathcote, and a young lady (personated by
some fun-loving individuals of the male sex), touching
a matrimonial engagement. The correspondence
originated in the publication of the following adver-
tisement:—

" MATRIMONT.—A respectable young man, of very
ancient family, liberally educated, of excellent character,
and with tolerably good expectations, wishes to enter
the marriage state with a lady possessed of not less
than 2,0001. (which might be secured if required), and
without children if a widow. This is a bona fide ease,
and the utmost secrecy may be relied upon.—Address
Fr ant, Sussex."
Alpha,' Post-office,
The personatora of the lady replied to this modest ad-
vertisement, adopting the signature of " Omega, and
requesting the letters to be left at the Clifton Post-
office. The lady's position and qualifications were
thus set forth :—" An orphan child, related to some
of the first families in this neighbourhood, now
under guardianship, is anxious to escape from pre-
sent thraldom, and would gladly embrace the protec-
tion of an honourable mind. Should 'Alpha' feel
disposed to communicate with frankness, he will find
in Omega' one whose pecuniary prospects are fully
equal to his requirements, and of whose mental and
personal attractions time must enable him to judge.
Imprudent as the step Omega' now taken mayap-
pear at first, there are circumstances which she be-
lieves would fully justify her conduct in the eyes of
Alpha,' and should he enter on a correspondence
he will address his letters to the name assumed, at
the Post-office, Clifton."
The gudgeon nibbled, and a very tender corres-
pondence ensued. Mr. Horace Heathcete's passion
daily augmented, and an interview was finally ar-
ranged to take place at the George Inn, Bristol. He
was true to his appointment, but it is scarcely
necessary to say, no lady made her appearance. The
three concoctors of the plot were present, however, and
they were not long in discerning the real Simon
Pure, who was a young man about 30, and evidently
in the agricultural interest. He walked to the win-
dow, and despondingly gazed up and down the street ;
he pulled out a note from his pocket, looked at the
clock in the bar, then at the note, which he returned
to his pocket with an air of absolute hopelessness—
again he was disappointed. This convinced the mis-
chievous trio that " Alpha" stood before them. They
then commenced a conversation, in which sundry
" pellets of the brain" were launched at the Lothario,
who stood " looking daggers." After thus talking
at him, one of them accosted him, and after repre-
senting himself to be the natural protector of the
fair " Omega," coolly intimated to him that he had
been hoaxed, and advised him to decamp, which ad-
vice the wooing Horace ultimately acted upon. "If
it were not true," observes the Bristol Gazelle
(which publishes the correspondence in extenso)
" that your dull ass will not mend his pace with
beating,' we would give Horace a sound lecture for
the excessive impertinence of which be has been
guilty towards the fair sex, in supposing that any
female would commit matrimony with him upon his
published terms ; but his mother will be his fittest
corrector, and we will conclude our connexion with
him by a quotation from the bard of Avon—
" The man that hath a tongue is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman."
—Gloucester Journal.