The Sun.
London, England, 1844-05-24 00:00:00

MINIATURE MEMOIRS.

Whether the Count Rostopschin was, or was not, that
Mr. Swing on an extensive scale, the Incendiary of
Moscow, is nothing to our present purpose. We
have here to do with him only as the author of
an autobiography which is unexampled for brevity.
It is written in French, of which language the Count
was perfect master ; and including the table of con-
tents, occupies no more than fire—" volumes ?"
No ; (tell it not in the Row) not even the compulsory
three; it occupies.no more than five loosely-printed
pages, in small octavo. Of the voluminous biographies
and autobiographies of persons of vast importance to
theniselves or their surviving relatives, by which our
shelies are encumbered, were many of them abridged ,
compressed, divested of all that is uninteresting and
valueless, to how much less than five pages would- they
not be reduced !

Rostopschin, an able statesman and a good soldier,
was also a wit ; and when this dreaded personage first
arrived in Paris,_" we were not a little astonished,' says
the Biographie Universelle et portative des antemporains,
" to find a man of wit and amiability in him whom, till
then, we had been accustomed to consider as a ferocious
Tartar." An abundance of his sayings are still re-
membered ; as an example—" You did not, then, come •
to Paris, Monsieur Le Comte, to set fire to it ?" said st.
lady. " Madame," replied he, " I came to be enabled to
judge for myself of the real merits of three men of whom
I had heard so much—Fond* Talleyrand, and Potier,
(the actor) ; and it seems to me that Potier is the only
one of them who has not been vastly over-rated."
The origin of the memoirs may be related with a.
brevity proportioned to the work. A lady told Ro-
stopschin that he ought to write his memoirs. The next
morning he waited upon her, and, putting a sheet of
paper into her band, said, " I have complied with your
orders ; there, Madam, are my memoirs." It was not
till some years afterwards (1839) that the work was
given to the press, and only three hundred copies (of
hich one is before us) were printed ; but it was almost
immediately copied into the leading French journals.
The version which we give of this charming jeu d'esprit
is, in some parts, necessarily paraphrastic : there are
points in it strongly resembling the light and playful
satire of Voltaire, the intention of which could not be
rendered by a close and literal translation.

MEMOIRS OF THE COUNT ROSTOPSCHIN, IN FOURTEEN
CHAPTERS, WRITTEN BY HIMSELF IN TEN MINUTES.
CHAP I.—MY BIRTH.--On the 12th of March, 1765,
I burst from darkness into the light of day. I was
measured, and I was weighed, and I was baptised. I
was born without knowing why; and my simple parents
(like most othess) thanked Heaven for the event, with-
out knowing wherefore.
CHAP. IL—MY EDUCATION. —I was taught all manner
of things and all sorts of languages. By dint of im-
pudence and quackery, I sometimes contrived to pass
myself off for a very learned person. My head became,
as it were, a library of nothing but odd volumes, of
which I kept the key.
CHAP. lIL—MY SUFFERINGS.—I was tormented by
my tutors, by my tailors—they would make my clothes
so tight !—by women, and by vanity, and by ambition
and by idle regrets. Sometimes I was tormented by ,
sovereigns, sometimes by souvenirs.
CHAP. IV.—My PRIVATIONS.—I was deprived of the
capacity for enjoying the three great pleasure of the
human race : thieving, gluttony, and pride.

CHAP. V.—MEMORABLE EPOCHS OF MY LIFE.—At
thirty, I gave up dancing ; at forty, I renounced the de-
sire to make myself agreeable to the fair sex ; at fifty. I
ceased to care for public opinion ; at sixty, I gave up
the trouble of thinking, and became a true philosopher
—or thoroughly selfish man : the terms are synonymous.
CHAP. VI.—MY CHARACTER.—I was as obstinate as
a mule, capricious as a pretty woman, gay as a child,
lazy as a dormouse, active as a Buonaparte—and all this
just as it suited me.
CHAP. VII.—A MOMENTOUS RESOLUTION.—Never
having been able to command my countenance, I resolved
to give full liberty to my tongue, till at length it became
a habit with me to think aloud. To this I was indebted
for considerable pleasure, and a great many enemies.
CHAP. VIII.--WHAT I WAS, AND WHAT I MIGHT
HAVE BEEN.—I was frank, confiding, and exceedingly
susceptible of friendship ; so that, had I lived in the
golden age, I might probably have been a downright
simpleton.
CHAP. IX.—SINS I HAVE NOT COMMITTED.—I was
never implicated in bringing about a marriage; to no
one did I ever recommend a cook or physician ; conse-
quently, I never attempted any person's life.
CHAP. X.—MY TASTES.—I was fond of pleasant little
parties, and a ramble in the woods. I entertained an in-
voluntary veneration for the sun, and his setting often
saddened me. My favourite colour was blue; in eating,
I liked beef and horse-radish; in drinking, cool spring
water; comedy and farce when I went to the play; ill'
both man and woman I liked an open, expressive coun-
tenance. Hunchbanks—hunchbacks of either sex—for
me possessed an indefinable charm, a charm which I
never could account for.
CHAP. XL—MY AVERSIONS.—I always entertained
an antipathy to fools and to rogues, and to certain
women who simulate virtue; disgust for affectation;
pity for dandyfied men and made-up women; aversion
for rats, liquers, metaphysics, and rhubarb; dread of
justice, and wild beasts.
CHAP. XII.—MT GREATEST BLESSING.—My chief.
happiness now consists in that I am independent of the
three great rulers of the destinies of Europe. As lam
as rich as I care to be, I have turned my back on public
affairs, and am pretty indifferent about music; I have,
consequently, no accounts to settle with Messrs. Roths-
child, Metternich, and Rossini.
CHAP. XIII.—ANALYSIS OF MY LIFE.—I await death
without fear, as without impatience. My life has been a
bad, but showy, melo-drama, in which I have alternately
played the hero, the tyrant, the lover, the dignified
father—but never the valet.
CHAP. XIV.—EPISTLE-DEDICATORY TO THE PUBLIC.
—Dog of a Public! :Harsh and untunable mouthpiece of
every bad passion ! Thou that elevatest to the skies and•
plungest into the mire ; thou that, ignorant and chance-
led, now flatterest, now calumniatest ! Senseless tyrant!
Bedlatnite broke loose ! Thrice-drawn essence of roses
—and of rats-bane ! The Devil's representative at tho •
Court of Humankind ! Fury—disguised beneath the
mask of Christian charity ! Public i that in my
younger days I feared ; in riper years, respected • in
age confirmed, despised—'tis to thee I dedicate my pie-
moirs. Gentle Public ! I am now beyond tby reach—
only fur lam dead—deaf, dumb, and blind. For thine
own repose, and the repose of mankind, I heartily wish
thee the same.

FRENCH RAILWAY RECEIPTS.

Paris to Orleans (Corbeil included), from the Bth to the
4th of May :
Frs. cs.

32,961 passengers
Luggage, parcels, horses, carriages, &c. ......
Merchandise 22,915 76

152,915 55

Total receipts from Jan 1 to May 14 2,103,495 07
Paris to Rouen, from the 9th to the 15th May :
17,758 passengers 90,802 30
Merchandise, parcels, &c 24,131 75

n 4,934 05

Total receipts for the first year
Strasbourg to Basle, to the Ist of April :-
57,633 passengers
Luggage 3,662 71
Merchandise 54,715 03
Proportion of receipts on the line from Mal-
house to Thalia

183,567 02

SHOCKING DISAPPOINTMENT.—The old adage of
the course of true love not running smooth was fully realised
yesterday morning in the following (to the parties shocking)
manner :—Dr. —, a medical gentleman, residing in tile.
Isle of Wight, had for some time past been Paying trades-
dresses to Miss the daughter of a respectabl
man, carrying on business near the Strand,
bu w h
only received by the young lady herself, but countenanced
e werenot
when the pair of
time, and yesterday was the day appointed by " Pa" and " Ma." The courtship
inhtaedd existed for some
lovers were etrehetdoignbeimtyaedfe
tohnee.par"treau,baratsbh;egneothhbeae banns'
ed.' was
d. rA:
body would know when Miss T— a
and bridegroom, with their friends and relations proceed to
T--
license was therefore procured, and anwxiosust ly diit(ilathee bride
St. Martin's Church, where the indissoluble knot was to
be tied. The beadles ushered them into the vestry-room,
where the Rev. Mr. Ramsey was in waiting to perform
the ceremony. The clerk inquired for the license, upon
which the father of the bride exclaimed, " Oh, dear, wbo
has got it ?" The bridegroom fumbled in his pockets, but
found :it not; and then for the first time discovered that ha
had left the key to his happiness at home on his dressing
table. A postchaise was at the Church door intended to
convey him and his bride to a distant
.part to spend the
honeymoon, when quick as thought he jumped into it and
drove to his lodgings, being told that he must be back before
twelve o'clock, or the ceremony could not be performed that
day. The wedding party waited with great anxiety the re-
turn of the bridegroom. The clock struck, and the bell had
scarcely cooled before the bridegroom " breathless with
haste" arrived, but too late for the performance of the cere-
mony. The effect on the bride was rather alarming, shown
seized with hysterics, and remained in a fit for some time.
On her recovery the disappointed party loft the Church much
cm buoyant in spirits than when they entered it.
[ADVERTISEMET.] ARNICA MONTANA IN TH3
SUCCESSFUL TREATMENT OF NERVOUS DEAFNESS.--.The
following severe cases prove the efficacy of this medicine in
relieving the distressing noise of the ears and head, which
frequently causes, and generally accompanies nervous deaf-
ness :-111r. Connor, " the firm of Meeny and Connor," High
Holborn; Signor onato, 8, Lodge-street, Bristol; Mr. Price,
Adel hi Shell-fish warehouse, Strand ; Mr. Ityanson4;
Holland-street, Soho-square ; Angelina Heddingetone,..er
May's-buildings, St. Martin's-lane ; Mr. Lowe, j I!.st
Chester; H. Woodburn, Esq. ; SerullabserTj'aetiwoins
Esq., near Bangor. In the press, "
on the use of Arnica Montano in Neracrvotluse
D. Cronin, M.D., Craven-street, Strand. Affections," by
E•—Proofs of
THE IRON TRAM—STOURBEEDO •
improvementadeofthe miningi he iron trade,
are and
diecofeloythe_,,!_gg rma
receivedh
°nut the district,
of
hdaavyegeanlreearaudyy
throng.
strict,
;Telesis. Ttoh3esen. 6ldli.eprser
and on Saturdaiyeal‘s:ee
tunhedirersentawnldoythuatnletthetr. considerablewagnerwt
gave notice to
advanced to 4s. We cannot but consider this step as ill-
advised and premature, tending to a disruption of the good
feeling which existed between the masters and the men.
BIRMINGTIAIII.—We learn from authority on which we place
implicit reliance, that at a meeting of iron masters, held in
Birmingham on Thursday last, it was determined that an
advance of wages to the men employed in every department
of the mills
opafund6ddd
eoprr
sgee
r isit
ao
Nsn,he
oo
nualldtt
he
ate
dai
rky
previous
placeervery
ge
generally
ffe le si
vtt
he
do
the
wmeraxmalelyst.hree
janunallitTiohne
colliers will place the same reliance on their employers
which the mill and forgmen have, there is small doubt but
that they
_will in due time participate in the urn straw
tagea.— Worcester Chronicle.