The Sun.
London, England, 1857-07-01 00:00:00

THE MEDICAL BILLS IN PARLIAMENT.

SUPPOSED DIALOGUE BETWEEN LORD PALMEBSTON
AND THE MEDICOS.
Scene in Downing-street.

L. P.—Well, gentlemen, what is it you want ?
Ist Medico—Why, your lordship, we find that the
guineas don't drop into our pockets so fast as they used
to do, and therefore we come to ask your lordship whe-
ther you can do anything for us ?
Ld. I can't exactly force the public to
employ you if they won't. I can't force them to take
your physic or to pay you for your advice.
2d Medico—But, my lord, we thought the House of
Commons, through you, might pass some arbitrary law
or other which indirectly might put the trade of phy-
sicking the people into our hands.
Ld. P.—Weil, but we have already done as much in
that way as we can, but it seems to little purpose : for
instance, did not the House of Commons pass the law
which requires a certificate of death from a doctor before
a party can be buried? Well, that was strong enough,
and I only wonder John Bull stomached it.
Ist Medico.—Very true, my lord ; but so it is, what
with doctors of one kind and another the public have
their eyes open, and we, the medical profession, with
some exceptions, are starving. Could not your lord-
ship devise some other scheme by which we cou!d manage
to get the people more under our thumbs ?
Ld. P.—lndeed I cannot. I shall do all I can for
you in my place in Parliament, but I cannot make such
proposals to the House of Commons as you suggest.
Besides, sirn- since Palmer's trial, who, you know, was
one of you, the public have taken fright at you and
your poisons, and think that the safest plan is just to
leave all to nature and take nothiug at all.
Ist Medico.—Ab, yes I confound that fellow Palmer,
it looks as if he had been sent to expose all our
doings, and be the means of our downfall. What a lot
came out on his trial, which, but for him, might have
remained buried for centuries to c )me. Well, my lord,
if you will only abolish patent medicines, we will sink
all our differences, and for once be agreed. Will you
then on such terms pass a law in our favour?
Ld. P.—As to that, you ought to remember that I,
myself, am one of the public, and that, therefore, I can-
not support any law which militates against the general
good. You want me, in fact, to enslave the public mind
on the question of medicine, which of all other profes-
sions should be left the freest. If the public have be-
come emancipated from your moat dangerous profession,
I cannot wonder at it ; in short, if you cannot support
yourselves, you cannot expect the Government to
help you further than it has done already. Have
you not all the prestige of Oxford and Cambridge
in your favour, the universities, the law itself ?
If, therefore, with all these things you require
more support, it is palpable to me that there is " some-
thing rotten in the state of Denmark," and that the
sooner you go about your business, the better, for if the
people once fancy that I support you against their in-
terest, I shall myself come in for just obloquy. Look
again at the verdict which has been returned against the
Daily News,
such a verdic twill and must do the medical
profession an immense deal of harm, for what does it
amount to, than to tell the public that doctors can do
anything (however bad) and that their conduct is not to
be commented on in any way without the fears of an
action at law for libel—you know very well that your
confrb•c Palmer, the Rugely Poisoner, threatened all the
inhabitants of the place with actions at law if they hinted
at this poisoning. Ido not think that John Bull will
stand all this. Therefore, gentlemen of the guinea trade,
I bid you farewell until we meet again in the House.
[Aside—I hope you have not left any of your poisons in
my office.] Reported by A 11TGEIST,
London, June 16, 1857.