The Sun.
London, England, 1834-09-02 00:00:00

THE NEW MONTHLY.

In the language of the mark9ts, the New Monthly
is looking up since our last quotations—tales are at a
premium, poetry is a shade better, but criticism is not
much in demand ; and humour, except it be the prime
samples,' goes off heavily.
There are evidently some able writers employed upon
this work—men who do well, and might do better if
they chose ; but the good troops want a good general,
and, in the lack of an efficient head, they fight with
only half their vigour. It is plainly to be seen, that
the hand which guides the machine has had a task
committed to it far beyond' its pOwers, and that, in
consequence, the work is totally deficient in any gene-
ral principles, either critical or political. By no exer-
cise of the judgment, is it possible to guess before-
hand what opinion will be given upon any topic, or
upon any work. It seems all a matter of caprice or
accident ; and it might almost be fancied the Editor
had recourse to the plan so lately adopted by an inge-
nious jury,. with the prospect of night and 'hunger
before theinthat is, he decides by the tossing up of
a farthing whether he shall acquit or condemn. Either
way it is a matter of no great consequence.
Being, notwithstanding these little hints, in one of
our blandest moods, and much more disposed to praise
than to censure, we shall give an extract from the
best-written paper in the Magazine. It is long, so
long, indeed, as to prevent our entering into any ana-
lysis of the other parts ; but the number, we suspect,
will not fare the worse for this necessary act of
retinence

" At this moment we were under the bank of a beautiful
garden, upon which opened a spacious bow-windowed dinner-
room, flanked by an extensive conservatory. Within the circle
of the window was placed a table, whereon stood bottles and
decanters, rising, as it were, from amidst a cornucopia of the
choisest fruits. Around this table were seated a highly re-
spectable family—a portly gentleman whose " cheeks and
chin gave ample evidence that such refections were his cus-
tom always in the afternoon," and near him a lady—evidently
his better—if not his larger halt—on either side bloomed two
young creatures, evidently the daughters of the well-fed pair.
Our appearance, although the lawn was some twenty or thirty
yards wide, had caught their attention, as their respective !urns
and figures had attracted our notice.
" There," said I, this scene is exhibited to us by ot4r evil
genius, to tantalize us with the prospect of what we may not
enjoy.'
" You are wrong,' said Daly, ' quite wrong—be quiet—
beautiful girls, cool wine, and agreeable society, are worth
making a dash for. These girls will we become acquainted
with—that society we will join—those wines will we
" Do you know them ?' said I.
" ' Never saw them by any chance in my life,' said Daly ;
' but here goes—the thing is settled—arranged—done. Have
you a pocket-book and a pencil about you ? if you have, lend
them to me; say nothing, and I will manage the rest. assent
to all I say, and stay in the boat till we are invited to partake
of the collation.'
" But, my dear Sir,' said
Mum,' said Daly, at the same moment pulling the head
of his funny chock block,' as the sailors say, into the bank of
the garden. I sat in amazement, doubting what he was about
to do, and what I should do myself. The first thing : saw
was my friend pacing in measured steps along the front cf the
terrace. He then affected to write down something in my
book—then he stopped—raised his hand to his eyes, as if to
make an horizon in order to obtain a level—then noted some-
thing more—and then began to pace the ground afresh.
" Bring the staff out of the boat,' said he to me, witli an
air of command, which was so extremely well assumed, that I
scarcely knew whether he were in joke or earnest. I obeyed,
and landed with the staff: Without any further ceremony,
he stuck the pole into the lawn, a measure which, as he whis-
pered to me, while in tike. act _of taking, it,_ he
_felt assured
would bring things to a crisis.
" Sure enough, after a certain ringing of the dinner-room
bell, which we heard, and which conveyed to Daly's mind a
conviction that he had created a sensation, a butler, biers
poudre, in a blue coat, white waistcoat, and black et ceteras,
followed at a properly-graduated distance by a strapping foot-
man, in a blue and scarlet livery, were seen approaching. I
thought the next would be our sudden and unceremonious ex-
pulsion from the Eden we had trespassed upon—not so my
friend, who continued pacing, and measuring, and jotting
down,' until the minister for the home department was at his
elbow.

" I beg your pardon, gentlemen,' said the butler, ' but_
my master's compliments, begs to know what your pleasure is
here—it is not usual for strangers to land—and-----'
" Like the man in the boat, Sir, said Daly, ' only quite
the reverse. lam not here for my pleasure—business calls
me here—duty, Sir--duty. Here, Mr. Higgins, carry the
staff to that stump.'
" These words were addressed to me, and I, completely in-
fatuated—fascinated, like the bird by the rattle-snake—did as
I was told, not daring to rebel, lest a denouement might ensue,
which would eclater in our being jointly and severally kicked
into the river, in which case, from the very little, or rather the
very great deal, which I had seen of my companion during our
short acquaintance, I felt perfectly certain that I should sink,
and he would swim, and that while I was floundering in all the
agonies of ignominy and disgrace, he would be capering and
flourishing with the two pretty girls in the dining-room, laying
all the blame of the affair upon my most incompetent shoulders,
and cracking his jokes upon the tyro who had so blunderingly
botched the business.
" The butler, who found that he made very little impres-
sion upon Daly, seemed inclined to come after me, which, as
I had not the slightest idea of the game my companion was
playing, nor the faintest notion what he expected to be the re-
sult, alarmed me considerably. Daly was too much on the
alert to permit me to be cross-questioned.
" Sir,' said he to the butler, present my compliments to
your master, and make my humble apologies for the liberty I
am obliged to take. lam the surveyor of the Grand Junction
Paddington Canal, and an Act of Parliament is just about to
be applied for, to construct and cut a branch from the basin at
Brentford, into the River Thames, near this point. A great
deal depends upon my decision as to the line it will take, and I
should not have ventured to land without apprizing your mas-
ter of my business, but that no time is to be lost, as my plan
for the cut must be ready for the committee to-morrow.'
" Cut a canal through my master's grounds, Sir?' said the
butler.
" Right through,' said Daly, poking the fore-finger of his
right hand very nearly into the butler's eye ; and what lam
now so particular about is, lam most anxious that the line
should not take down the corner of the conservatory.
" Dear me, Sir,' said the man, mistress would go
mad at the idea. Will you just wait, Sir, while I speak to
Sir Timothy ?'
" Certainly,' said he, and assure him—assure Sir Timo-
thy—that I willa. all I can to preserve the elevation of his
house ; for, as it all depends upon my opinion, I shall of course
be extremely scrupulous how I decide.'
" lam sure, Sir,' said the astounded and mollified butler,
Sir Timothy will be greatly obliged to you. I'll be back
directly, Sir.'
" Saying which the butler returned to the house, and giv-
ing a significant look to the strapping footman, with the gre-
nadier shoulders and balustrade legs, which seemed to imply
that he need not kick us into the water till he had consulted
his master, the fellow followed him, which afforded me an op-
portunity of asking my volatile friend what the deuce he was at.
" Leave me alone,' said he—

Women and wine compare so well,
They run in a perfect parallel.'
I am the Company's surveyor, and having surveyed this com-
pany, I mean to be made a participator in those good things of
which they seem to be in full possession. Yes, Mr. Gurney,
as 'Xing Arthur says--
It is our royal will and pleasure to be drunk,
And this, our friend, shall be as drunk as we.'
Who knows but we may make an agreeable and permanent
acquaintance with this interesting family I'
4" But,' said I, you don't even know their name.'
" < You are in error,' replied Daly, the man's name is
known to me.'
" ' Then perhaps you are known to him,' said I.
" That is a non sequitur,'- said Daly ; ' I knew nothing of
him before I landed here—now I am au, ait—my friend in- the
powder and sticking-plasters calls his master -Sir Timothy.
There are hundreds of .Sir Timothys ; but what do I da-upon
hearing, this little distinctive appellation, but glance my emu)
the livery button of thelacquey—and what do I see there ? a
serpent issuing from and piercing a garb or gerb. The crest
is unique—ergo, my new acquaintance is neither more nor less
than Sir Timothy Dod.'
Why,' said I, you are, like myself, a bit of a herald, too !'
" Exactly,' replied Daly, my composition are
Arts with arms contending.'
I am a bit of every thing ; but somehow or another my accom-
plishments are so jumbled, and each so minute in itself, that
they are patched together in my mind like the squares of a
Harlequin's jacket, only to make their, master ridiculous.
Here, however, comes Sir. Timothy himself. You are my
.clerk—keep the staff and the joke -up ; , and you shall be repaid
with some of Tim's very best chathu margot, or I'm an ass.'
Good day, Sir,' said Sir Timothy, somewhat warmed
with the intelligence given him by the butler and the exertion
of trotting himself across his lawn. My servant tells me that

you are here for the purpose of decidiug upon the line of some
new branch of the Paddington Canal—it is very extraordinary
I never should have heard of it !' _

" You ought, Sir Timothy,' said Daly, 'to have been ap-
prized of it. Do you understand mu,..h of ground-plans, Sir
Timothy ?'
" No, Sir ; very little indeed,' replied the worthy Knight.
" So much the better,' I heard Daly distinctly say, for he
could not resist an If you will just cast your eye
over this paper, I will endeavour to explain, Sir. A, there you
see ;—A is your house, Sir Timothy ; B is the conservatory ;
C is the river,—that perhaps you will think strange ?'
" No, Sir,' said Sir Timothy, not at all.'
" Then, Sir, D, E, F, and G are the points, you see, from
which I take the direct line from the bridge at Brentford ; and
thus you perceive, that, drawing that line to the corner of
Twickenham churchyard, where the embouchure is to be—'
" ' The what, Sir ?' said Sir Timothy.
" The mouth, Sir,—the entrance to the new branch. The
canal will clip your conservatory of about eighteen feet diago-
nally, and leave it deprived of its original dimensions some-
what in the shape of a cocked-hat box. You see—so, Sir,_
H, I, K.'
"' I give you my honour, Sir,' said Sir Timothy, such a
thing would drive Lady Dod mad !'
" ' I admit it would be a dreadful cut,' said Daly • and then
the noise of the bargemen, and the barge horses close under
the bed-room windows,--clanking chains,—horrible oaths,_
disgusting language--'
" My daughters' bed-rooms arc at that end of the house,'
said Sir Timothy. What am Ito do, Sir ? What interest
can I make ? Are the magistrates—are the—'
" No, Sir,' said Daly, with a face of the most imperturba-
ble gravity ; all that is. unavailing. The decision as to the
lino rests with me ; and, as I said to Mr. Higgins, my as-
si,tant,—Higgins,' continued he, calling me to him, ' let me
present you to Sir Timothy Dod,—l said to Higgins? what a
pity to disturb the Dods,—what a cut at their comforts ;—it
goes against my heart to send in the plat'', but the line is so de-
cidedly the shortest. Ah, Sir !' says Higgins to me, but do
consider the conservatory.'
" ' I'm sure,' said Sir Timothy, extending his hand to me,
I feel very grateful for your kindness. It would be a sad
thing ; and must the decision be made so soon ?'
" Immediately, Sir,' said Daly ; but lam afraid we are
keeping you out here in the open air without your hat. lam
afraid you may catch cold.'
" Oh, no, Sir,' said Sir Timothy; don't mind that.
Perhaps, gentlemen, you would. do me the kindness to walk
in.' The servant shall take are of your boat. I will intro-
duce you to Lady Dod ; she must try What her influence can
effect, and I am sure you have the disposition to serve us.
Here, Philip, James, George, some of you, come and make
this boat fast, and stay down by her while the gentlemen stop.
Let me show you the way, gentlemen."'