The Sun.
London, England, 1834-10-07 00:00:00

UNCLE GEORGE AND UNCLE JACK.

UNCLE JACK—George, my dear fellow, why don't you
give another living to your son and Vicar-General ? You
must recollect enough of your Bible to know that "if a
man provide not for his own house, he is worse than a
Radical."

UNCLE GEORGE—John, my dear fellow, I know allthat ;
but what can a man do ? In these villainous times, one
good living and a stall in a Cathedral are as much as any
prudent man can give to one son. The Protestant religion
is lost, indeed, when all its ministers must be working men
on a couple of thousands a-year, and Gentlemen are vir-
tually excluded from the profession.
UNCLE JACK.—You may say that, George. Bad luck
to this Brougham and his Pluralities Bill, but he is a terri-
ble scourge to Christianity. The Times calls him a Tory,
and perhaps he is so, in the same way as the Athanasian
Creed is Tory ; that is to say--damnatory.
UNCLE GEORGE—Aye, Jack, and predatory. I wonder
does he believe in Revelation ?

UNCLE JAex—l suppose not ; and, what's worse, I
suspect he don't believe in Leviticus either ; for he seems
to have no respect whatever for tithes. We shall never see
those times again when there were three Beresfords on the
Bench together. The Church is gone !
UNCLE GEORGE—AIas ! and of a truth—yes. It is
worth being old to remember the days when our uncle,
Lord Decies (Archbishop of Tuam), and his two nephews
could rule the Board of First Fruits, and teach the Castle
itself its Catechism. Then our dear uncle trained up his
fine boys to be polished corners in the temple, and no im-
pertinent unbelieving Whigs grudged the number or variety
of opportunities which he afforded them of being useful in
their generation.
UNCLE JACK—Then William (vide Ecclesiastical Re-
gister, ad vocem " the Hon. William Beresford") obtained
all those handsome preferments, which while vested rights
remain sacred, he will retain in spite of the Whigs, the
Methodists, and the Devil. In 1808, our poor dear uncle
gave Willy the Prebend of Laceagh.
UNCLE GEORGE—In the same year be gave him the
Union, containing only six parishes, of Tuam.
UNCLE JACK—In the same year he gave him the Vi-
carage of Clare, Galway.
UNCLE GEORGE—'Twas a year blessed to the Church:
In 1809, Willy was installed at Lismore into the Prebend
of Tulloghorton. The Primate granted him a faculty to
hold it with his other preferments. _ _

UNCLE JACK—He hardly needed that. The faculty
seems to have been born with him ; he is infinitely divisi-
ble, and like a polypus, each part he is cut into makes a
parson per se.
UNCLE GEORGE—He was his father's favourite to the
last. In 1816 he gave him Cloon. How many is that ?
UNCLE JoHN—Laceagh—one ; Tuarn cum socies—
seven ; Clare, Galway—eight ; Tulloghorten—nine ;
Cloon—ten.

Decies repetita placebit.
UNCLE GEORGE—Had my poor uncle lived, he might
have given Willy the three livings which Archbishop
Trench has given to his brother the Adjutant ; and proba-
bly made interest to obtain the same Adjutant Trench's
Archdeaconry, and his Northern living, for two more of the
children.

UNCLE JACK—Poor Willy ; what an unfortunate dog
he is ! But potatoes and salt were unheard of in those days,
and the old man would eat turtle, venison; and lobster-
sallad, all at the same feast ! It's long before the old Bishop
of Norwich would do that.

UNCLE GEORGE—I'II warrant you ; or Whately either :
now, if anything should happen to poor Willy, his prefer-
ments would run in gavel through the Curates ; and so the
coachmakers, butlers, upholsterers, and wine-merchants be
all thrown out of bread.

UNCLE JACK—Just so. That is the inevitable conse-
quence of overunning a country with poor gentlemen. When
I retired from business I thought of that, and took care of
my poor tradespeople. It was a great shame not to make
Willy a
UNCLE GEORGE.—TruIy it was. He had so much to
give up, that the Government was bound in honour to give
him the mitre. But Popery was gaining ground in the
Cabinet even then, when my uncle died, and therefore
Willy is no more than—ten Rectors.

UNCLE JACK.—Had he got his right, how many Willies
might we not now have in the Church ?

UNCLE GEORGE.—Ah ! (A shake of the head.)
UNCLE JACK.—,-Poor dear uncle had no undue partialities.
He was just to all his children, though Willy was his pet.
George came in for a child's share too.
UNCLE GEORGE.—Yes, and would have had more, but
for his determined absenteeism. A man who lives all his
days in England, cannot in decency hold more than two
benefices in Ireland. Our family has been the main prop
of the Church in Ireland.

UNCLE JACK.-Truth. And it were ungrateful not to
acknowledge that the Church has returned the compliment.
What will our grandchildren think ?

UNCLE GEORGE.—If they have a church at all, which I
much doubt, they will think it an altered concern ; potatoes
and salt, I fear, will not agree with them. It is a great
misery to have preferment in your gift, and not be allowed
to give it as you please.
UNCLE JACK—Most tantalizing ; and a dreadful bore
to be a suffragan for thirty years, without hope of being
translated, unless Enoch-wise to Heaven.
UNCLE GEORGE.—Faveto lingua, brother of mine :
Nolo translatari.

UNCLE JACK.—Poor brother Cob has suffered by the
times. He is an ill-used man.
UNCLE GEORGE.—Exceedingly. He has but two livings,
with cure of souls, in addition to which he is only Regis-
trar of the Consistorial Court of Dublin.

UNCLE JACK.—That's all. And his son, although he