The Sun.
London, England, 1834-08-19 00:00:00

COURT OF REQUESTS, AUG. 18.

AN EXPENSIVE LARK..
Jacob Abrahams, a renovator of old garments, appeared
before the Bench, under somewhat curious circumstances,
to show cause why he should not be required to pay Joseph
Foyer, a peripatetic vender of shell-fish, the sum of three
shillings, which was demanded of him for a jar of pickled
eels, damaged by way of a " lark." •
The plaintiff, a little talkative old fellow, having made a
profound salaam to the court, set forth his case as follows :
Please your reverence, I sarves all the 'spectablest public-
houses in Vestminster, vith vinkles, and vilks, and srimps,
and hoisters, and the werry best sort of every kind of shell-
fish, vich is werry veil known to every gentleman as ever
laid out a penny piece vith me in my line. Ven I sarves
'em vonce, I'm sure to sarve 'em twice, and that's vy I'm
called "Joe the Marine," cause I von't sell none but - the
werry best prowisions. And that 'ere's the vay as I yarns
a honest penny to buy wittles to put in the bellies of my
seven motherless babbies, for my old missus has been dead
upwards of a year, and I've never been the man I vos, nor
never shan't be agin.
COMMISSIONER—Don't give us your family history man;
but state your case at once.
Plaintiff—Veil then, here goes ; I vent last Vensday into
the"tap-room of Mr. Spring's house, in Tottle-fields, to ax
if anything vos vanted in my vay. This here defendant
ax'd me at the present time to leave my " kit," and to fetch
him a pipe of bakker ; not thinking of nothink, I did fetch
the pipe, and then a gentleman, vot's a riglar customer,
axed me for a pennith of pickled heels and plenty of
winegar. For, your reverence, I'd got a jar of sitch fish
that war'nt to be sneezed at, 'cause they were the werry
best I could get at the " Gate," and they were, candidly
speaking, the pride of the market. I never seed sitch heels
afore, since my wife cut her stick.
CommissloNEn--Nover mind your family matters ; come
to the point.
Plaintiff—Ax pardon if I've done anything wrong ; so I
sarves the gentleman with the heels, and he axes me to
hand him over the pepper-box. Ven he gets it, he peppers
away, and then he shoves the hole lot slap into his mouth ;
but in a hinstant moment he spits it all over me, and
fetches me the preciousest vipe over the nob as I never did
see. He then sings out, " You nasty willain, you've been
a pisenin on me with summut as you've shoved into the
pepper-box." Vith that 'ere I looks into my box, 'cause I
never buys none but the werry best harticle what is, and I
diskivered as how some wile waggabone had been chucking
out the pepper and filling up the box with sand and sum-
mut else. So I looks a little furder, and then I made an-
other diskivery, that the whole blessed kit of pickled heels
was spiled, for lam blow'd if the jar warnt half-full of sand ;
and Iv'e got two vitnesses all for to prove as how this here
defendant sarved me such a wile trick.
One of the witnesses stepped forward and declared, that
being partial to pickled eels, he had a pennyworth of the
plaintiff, and being likewise fond of condiments, he well
peppered, as he thought, the dainty mess. Having been
nearly choked with the first mouthful, his stomach was so
offended that he was obliged to retire into the yard to give
vent to his feelings. Upon making inquiry, he found out
from " Bob Harris," one of the company, that the defend-
ant had emptied the contents of a spittoon into the plain-
tiff's eel jar and pepper box during his temporary absence.
Bob Harris, who was in Court, came forward, and as-
serted that the defendant was the sole concocter of the dirty

joke.
The defendant said the last witness was as deep in the
mud as he was in the mire. He admitted he had lent a
hand to play off a " lark" on the plaintiff, and he was ready
to pay a moiety of the damages.
The other witness having strongly asserted that to Mr.
Abrahams was due all the merit of the " lark,"
The COMMISSIONERS found for the plaintiff, with costs.