The Sun.
London, England, 1802-10-15 00:00:00

QUACKS.

ThelolloWing curious Advertisement appeared
lately in America in a Norfolk Papett
ADVERTISEMENT.
Do&'r Guesippus Ifaxesio,
Having the health and welfare of the citizens of
Norfolk very much at heart, and foreseeing that
the Town will be infested with various diseases
during the approaching autumn, begs leave once
more to claim attention. Gentlemen, I was born
with a natural antipathy to all diseases whatever,
as some people are to cheese and onions--I hate
diseases, and diseases hate me ; by the same token
they fly from my presence, as it was observed while
the late Dog Law was in operation, that the Dogs by
natural instina ran away from the Borough Dog-
killers (and even went so far as to growl at the
Common Council.) I make it my constant bu-
siness to destroy diseases whenever I meet them.
But Gentlemen don't misunderstand me ; though
I kill the diseases, -I do the man no harm—for
the present I must content myself with offering
to your notice a few more of my (wonderful Me-
dicines as well as Cures.
Ist, My Anodyne Spirit ; excellent to ease pain,
when taken inwardly; and applied outwardly, ex--
cellent for any Lameness, Contraction of the Nerves,
Sore Eyes, Deafness, Pain and Noise in the Ears,
and all odontalgic, as well as podagrical Inflamma-
tions.
zd, My Cathartic Elixir, which correds all the
cacochymic and cachexical Diseases of the Intestines,
cures all external and internal Diseases, all Vertigi-
nous Vapours, hydrocephalous Giddiness, epileptic
Fits, Flowing of the Gall, Stoppage of Urine, with
many other Distempers not hitherto distinguished by.
name.
3d, My Antidotus Antivenerealis, which effedu-
ally dues all Gonorrhceas, Carnoxities in the de-
linquent part, Tumours, Phymosis, Paraphymosis,
Christalline Priapisms, Hxmorrhoids, Can tillamata,
Ragades, Buboes, Imposthumations, Genicular
Nodes, and the- like, without Mercury—observe I
[without Mercury]- which has so often proved de-
struaive to the poor Patient.
4th, My Pectoral Lozenges, or Balsam of Bal-
sams, which effe'tually carries off all windy and
tedious coughs, spitting of blood, wheezing in the
larynx and ptyalitmusa let it be never so inveterate.
See the following certificate :
" I Obadiah Heiriming, of the Parish of All.
Hallows-Barking, in the City of London, was
troubled for twenty years with so unmerciful
a ptysic, that nobody in the family could sleep for me
—after applying to all the most eminent Physicians,
I found no relief whatever, until I took some of
Dr. Hanesio's Peaoral Lozenges, which cured me
effedually in less than a week. Witness my hand,
Obadiah Hemming."
stb, My Antitussient Pills, which I have been
thirty years and upwards in contriving—They are
compounded of those admirable ingredients, that,
Gentlemen, the party that takes them, may lie up
to his chin in water for a fortnight together, or
cover himself all over in snow as naked as when he
first came into the world ; and if he coughs forty
years,
.after that, I am content to lose my ears—
let any man that distrusts the virtue of my Anti-
tussient Pills make the .experiment ; and if, as I
said before, he coughs forty years after that, I en-
gage to be his bond-slave. Cures, as follows :
Zelotyphia Italica—Charles Cornuticus was so
wonderfully afflicted with this disease, that he con-
stantly locked up his simpering spouse wher busi-
ness called him abroad, and would hardly trust her
with her aunt or grandmother ; by redifying his
constitution with my true Elixir de Cardenibus Ro-
sainvilletts, he is so entirely cured of his old yellow
distemper, that now of his own accord he carries
her to the Play.house, sends her to the balls and
merry-makings in Town, and will let her sit a
whole afternoon with a smoothafaced spark, and is
never disturbed at it,
Warals.—Jethro Lumm, at the sign of the Blue
Ball And Spotted 'Horse, by taking a few doses of
my Pulvis Vermifugus or Antivermatic Powders,
voided above thirty thousand worms of all sorts, as
your Ascarides Teretes, Hirudines and so forth, in
the space of twelve hours, one of which, by modest'
computation, was thought long enough to reach
fromthe Town Hall to the Wigwam. I confess
my medicine is a little hitter—hut what says the
learned Arabian Philosopher,. Hamet Ben Hamet
Ben Haddu Albumazar—" A Diadem will not cure
the apoplexy, nor a velvet slipper the gout"--and
are. not all the Ancients agreed that, raro corpus sine
vermibus F therefore, my friends, be advised in
time.

111 effees of a scolding 117; ~--Marmaciuke Thum-
mington was possessed of an obktreperous ill-condi-
tioned Devil of a Wife, whose'everlasting clack
incessantly thundering in his ears, had made. hitn,
as deaf as a drum : his case was so lamentable, that
a twelve pounder shot over his head affeaed him no
more than it would a man twenty miles off; nay
he was insensible to all the betting and swearing of
the loudest Cock match ever fought at Jerusalem or
Halifax (N.C.). After all your pretender's had de-
spaired of him, I undertook his cure, and with a
few .of my Otacoustical Drops, have so entirely re-
covered him, and his hearing is so strangely im-
proved, that at an eaves dropping at a window he
can hear oaths that were never sworn, and baudy
that was never spoke.
Drouniness.—,Nehemiah Drowsy was so prodi-
giously aftlided with a lethargy that his whole life
was little better than a dream—He could sleep even
while he was giving an account of his own pedi-
gree, nay, has often been found asleep at a certain
excercise which keeps all other mortals awake.
By following dik 'diretlions, he is so wonderfully
altered for the better, that after a full dinner of
roast beef and pudding, he can listen to a dull ser-
mon without so much as yawning once.
Farrago Medicinarurn.---I cured an eminent coach-
keeping Physician who was troubled with a Farr;go
Mediciparum; or tpmor prescriptionalis, to that
monstrous degree, that he. write bills by the yard,
'end prescribed medicines by the hogshead and ‘liheel-
barrow-full ; to the. amazement of all who-know