The Sun.
London, England, 1834-06-30 00:00:00

MARLBOROUGH-ATREET.

Francis Adolphus Walker, a girlish-looking lad,
with his hair nicely parted and curled on bath sides.
wearing his shirt collar a la Byron, and an imitation
gold watch-guard, a la Cocaigne, brought John Ccil-
lins before Mr. CONANT and Mr. DYER, for having on
Wednesday last slapped the dexter side of his delicate
countenance.

rj The complainant, whose air and style of dress was
ordered according to the most approved aristocratic
model c used s el. tle surprise whell he announced
" On
Wednesday last," began Mr. Walker, brushing up his
curls with a consequential air, " being excessive en-
gaged on some important work"-__
Mr. CoITANT.— Pray, what is your occupation?
Complainant—l'm a journeyman tailor, and the defen-
dant works on the same board.

Mr. CONANT—A tailor I Well, go on.
Complainant—As I was observing, being excessive
busy stitching some button-holes, I suddenly missed
my principal bodkin, and accordingly I charged the de-
fendant instanter with its abduction. His answer was
a violent shove on my right bussom, which knock'd me
backwards on the shopboard. When I recovered my
presence of mind I said I was not so regenerated as to
mix myself up with sitch low conduct, as I should have
address in a more proper way, and he then hit me a
tremendous spank in my face, telling me I might take
my address out of that.
Mr. CONANT—Oh, then, you supposed the defen-
dant had taken away your bodkin ? Complainant—l'd
good reason for knowing as he'd taken it, and wouldn't
give it up.
Mr. DYER—Ah, the defendant refused to " make
his quietus with a bare bodkin."
In reply to the charge, the defendant declared there
was not a more 'quarrelsome, priegish, ninth part
of a tai for than the complainant. He had
taxed him first with stealing his - bodkin, and
when he resented the insinuation, the com-
plainant caught up the goose, which had just been
served up hot to the board, and challenged him to
single combat. Defendant had hold of the sleeve
board, and swore he would give him wooden sauce. to
his iron goc;e, if he persevered in his martial manifes-
tations. 'I hi; cooled the complainant, .and he took
his revenge by obtaining the present warrant.
The Magistrates thought that justice would be at-
tained by the payment of costs, and disposed of the
charge accordingly.
A HOPELESS CASE.—A pale-faced elderly man, with
a woebegone countenance, approached Mr. Chambers,
and begged, in a tone of dismal despondency, that he
would grant him his protection.
Mr. CHAMBERS—Against whom ? Applicant-7-
Against my wife. She's always beating me, your
Worship.
Mr. CHAMBERS—Beats you I Then bind her over
to keep the peace.
Applicaht—l have do-ae so, but it's of no use ; she
kicked me behind three times this morning. because I
had not finished a pair of wettings when the gentle-
man called for them. She gets drunk, and then' I
catches it worse than ever.
Mr. CHAMBERS—Don't let her have any money, and
then she can't get drunk.
Applicant—She will keep the cash herself.
Marra.teCH
Applicant—She won't let me.
Mr. CHAMBERS-Then run away to America ; I
maintenance..asinEas—Psep
art from her, and allow her a.
don't see how.l can help you.
The applicant sighed, looked up at the ceiling,
shook his head dolefully, and walked out of the
Office.