The Sun.
London, England, 1834-08-25 00:00:00

A MESS DINNER AT BOMBAY.

Some eighty-five years ago, a mess dinner in India
was no joke. When Colonel Campbell, at three
o'clock, reached the mess bungalow, he found fifteen
gentlemen assembled, military officers, a few civilians
and merchants. The mess-room was a bare unfur-
nished chamber, without mat, punkah, or carpet ; and
every person. brought his own chair, plate, spoon,
knife, fork, and glasses. The table groaned.under
the smoking viands, and Colonel Campbell observed a
box under the table, which, attracting his attention,
he inquired what it was placed there for.; Major
Stackpool, the president, informed him that it. Was a
half chest, containing six dozen of prime claret. They
sat down, the full chest being first opened; and,plaeed.
at one side of the president's chair. The wines were
hot as the thermometer at ninety degrees could make
them. The room was stifling, even though the vene-
tians were open, and some few had people with hand-
fans to cool them ; but -this the majority considered
vastly effeminate. " Gentlemen," said the president,
" be seated, but first make yourselves comfortable."
So saying, he doffed his coat, waistcoat, and sock,
and every one followed his example.. " Sit down, sit
down," continued Major Stackpool. " I'm sorry to
say Padre Heaviside.-is not, here to say grace, so we
Must even do without.!' What's become of the old
sinner ?" inquired Captain Hesketh, a bloated-
looking, short-necked corpulent man of forty-two.
" Why," replied the major, " last week a report hav-
ing arisen, I know not how, that the plague had been
imported in an Arab ship, his reverence beat' the
retreat, and took himself off to Goa." The company
now set to eating anddrinking in earnest ; and though
the wines were so hot, bottle after bottle of Calcavellas
and claret, to say nothing of certain pocula of san-
garee in the pauses, disappeared with a rapidity
that would frighten our modern quihys and ducks.
Captain Hesketh assured Colonel Campbell that
the climate was the worst on earth, and that but-
for a generous diet and plenty of liquid stimulants, it
would be impossible to live in it. The conversation
now began to be noisy and desultory ; tigers, wild
hogs, Mahrattas, and the cave of Elephanta, were
talked about all in a breath. " I can prOve to the..
satisfaction of yourself, Captain Wadden, or'any
individual," said Collector Purwannah, " that the flo-
rikan has four toes." " I till ye, Sir, the florikan has
only three." " Now really you are a very positive'
individual." " I'm nae mair an indeeveedual, sir,.
than ye are yersel," said Captain M'Fadden, fiercely.
Here there was a roar of laughter ; and Mr. Purwan-
nah, in a fever of irritation at being laughed at; looked
from one to another, but- at length his attention was
directed by Major Stackpool asking him to take a pint
bumper with him. This the other instantly acceded
to, and the draught appeared to soothe his irritated'
nerves. The cloth being removed, the whole party
" set ardent in to serious drinking." Some began to
falter a little in their speech, others to laugh knowingly
and smirkingly at everything,'and others again to weep
and fondle each other. The collector and WFadden,
drowning all testiness in wine, were vowing everlastirig•
friendship, when, Colonel Campbell beginning to feel
alarmed at the state of things before him, by a cer-
tain premonitory sensation of the room going round,
rose up to depart quietly. This, however, was a
thing not to be heard of ; Major Stackpool aiid
others debarred his retreat. "My dear sir," said
Major Stackpool, " you cannot surely leave us so
soon ?" "So soon indeed ! have we not sat here
since three o'clock, and it is now half-past six ?"
" But, my dear sir," said Captain. Hesketh, "we
have got through little more than half the claret ; see
the chest is very near half-full yet." " What, sir!
you surely don't expect me to sit here until that great
box of wine is all drank out ! I shall die ;" " Well, .
if you do," hiccupped Captain Hesketh, " recollect
that Alexander the Great died at Babylon." " Sorry
comfort that for me ; but really I do not feel very well,
and the cup of Hercules now _would finish, 'me."
" Well, well," said the president, " we won't be hard
upon you ; for ourselves, we shall not leave this till
we finish the claret ; but at any rate come and let us
drink welcome to Bombay, and prosperity to you."
This appeared so reasonable, that Colonel Campbell
consented to sit down again, and bumper after bumper
was fired off in good rummers, with a „rapidity that
fairly frightened him ; but seeing that one of the vene-
tians was convenient for a bolt, and that the window
was only six or seven feet from the ground, he deter-
mined to escape when he could. Accordingly, in the
midst of some promiscuous and noisy discussion,
he leaped out, and got fairly off. Colonel.. Camp-
bell did not get up next day till noon. A
throbbing headach reminded him of the hard
bout lie had undergone the previous evening,
when a servant entered with a card, on which was
written—" Mr. James Askindull." Throwing on his
dressing gown, lie desired the man to show Mr. A s
kindull in. " Hope you're. well, Colonel,---not the
worse of last evening's shivoe?"—" Why, really, Mr.
Askindull, I cannot say I am much the better for it."
" Never mind, sir, that will wear off when you get
used to it ; but will you kindly call the servant, I feel
a little thirsty and fatigued, and a glass of sangaree
would not be amiss ?" This being brought, Mr. As-
kindull
drunk it off with infinite gusto ; desiring the
man to bring another, and two dried bummaloes, as a
relish. " Well, Colonel, you've heard that poor Hes-
keth has caught it at last."-" What, the plague ?"
" Not exactly ; excellent, worthy, good fellow, Tom
Hesketh ; even though my particular friend, I never
thought he would be off in this way."—" How off,
Mr. Askindull ?"—" Oh, a regular case of pop. I
suppose you will accompany us.to see the poor fellow
to Padre Heaviside's godowns !"—" Padre Heaviside's
godowns I"—" Yes, the churchyard ; he is to be buried
this evening.—" Buried, indeed I I never heard of his
death."—" No ! I thought You had not. Yes, he sat
gallantly to see the claret 'out, as usual, and sang seve-
ral songs ; but all at once I heard him give a queer
kind of snort. I turned round, and saw his head had
fallen backwards ; 'his eyes' stared confoundedly, and
face and lips were as if he had bedaubed them with
indigo. We laughed at first ; but seeing. he never
moved but to shake one leg, like, we thought it queer.
Dr: Molesworth came 'immediately, and tried to bleed
him, but the vein would not run, lie was stone dead.
Poor fellow ! we were most particular friends ; and I
certainly mean to purchase his service of plate, and his
stock of claret, Java arrack, and old Calcavellas, at
the auction of his things, which, I presume, will take
place the day after to-morrow. You'll be there of
course ; capital opportunity to get good bargains.
Good morning, Colonel Campbell."—Bengal Annual.

SERIOUS Loss.—On the night -of Tuesday last,
a drover with about 800 sheep put them up for the night in an
orchard in the Forest, Melksham, where being frightened by a
dog, they ran up in a heap, and 16 were found smothered in
the morning.—. Bristol Mercury.

FRAUDULENT EMIGRANTS.—The subject of
frauds committed by persons afterwards escaping to America is
at present under consideration of Government. Sir John
Campbell, in answer to a letter from Messrs. Haig and Son,
the eminent Scotch distillers, states that the subject has en-
gaged his serious consideration, and " that, either by com-
mercial treaty or municipal laws, justice must be obtained to
the British creditor."—Edinburgh Paper.
TICKLING A CROCODILE.—The
A Indians,man it
iis
said, are very expert in catching the cayman ;
down upon the crocodile's back, while asleep, and fastens a
rope round its body ; he then strides across it, and making a
signal to his companions on the river's bank, they are pulled
towards the surface of the water together. By tickling it
under the axilla with a stick, the monster, it is stated, becomes
perfectly managable, and is hauled to the beach, where t'ao
rider's comrades dispatch him with iron-shod clubs.
The Wesleyan Methodist Conference, which has
this year been held in London, commenced its sittings on Wed-
nesday, July 30, and closed on Thursday, August 14. About 400 P
preachers assembled. Twenty preachers died during the ycar ;
92 young men offered themselves for the
ministry, of whom 29
were called to that sacred employment. The increase of the
ni tmorpferltoahvneedmaenndt
ministry foreignof
t_h
society in the past year is 17,753 ; viz., 12,000 in England,
station& A very
ethyeoraungeisstsaibmolniensarhmywehnot
area
candidates
institu-
tionidatesimportant point was carried at this conference, which will 'affect
for that office. This step is approved.by the connexion-at large.
•
Yesterday evening, between six and seven o'clock,
tahned character3fc:st3h ei
as a child's chaise, drawn 10 by a girl of
ing two infant children, the one four and the other two years
of age, a brother and sister, in passing down Gray's /nn-road,
was thrown over with great violence by a police-cbfiatable o.
the name of Gates, No. 36, E division, without any previous
intimation, by which violence the youngest child .was most
severely injured, having his shnulder diskq!ted,
.ail is now
lying in a very precarious state: -