The Sun.
London, England, 1840-08-17 00:00:00

KILRUSH PETTY SESSIONS.

ANNOYING THE NEWSMONGERS,--oWeil Giltenane,
1 pale, peaceable, and proper little weaver, was the
complainant in this ease. He had been assaulted by
Mr. and Mrs. Hartigan. fellow-lodgers, for some pas-
sing comment he hail presumed to make on "the state
of things in general," and the war with China in par-
ticular, touching which Paddy Hartigan was enlight-
ening an attentive auditory.
Magistrate—Describe the nature of the assault.
He whose calling it was to throw
" The shuttle athwart the loom,"
actually exhibited something approaching to a blush on
his cadaverous cheek, and after a few hems, gave the
bench an inkling, from which they could gather that
that quarter of him had suffered which bears a similar
appellation to the weaver of Shakspearian celebrity.
But Mrs. Hartigan, a pock-marked dame, whose pe-
culiar oratory would not shame a Billingsgate matron,
or the columns of the Pilot or Monitor, when they be-
spatter each other, stood up to her fight, and
like " Banquo's ghost," pushing Mr. Giltenane from
his stool, exclaimed, " E'then, what delicacy it is.
Wake and zniserable bodied as this crethur ov a weaver
looks, he's terribly bitther wid his jokes, an' whin the
nibors getther in to hear me husband (aside to H.
' Why don't you spike, you onshough 1" —A laugh)
readio' the news, he's for ever passin' remarks, an'
jeerin' uz, because we like to hear how Connell is gettin'
on in Parliament, 'till at long last he carniod an' got a
kick in the —side, an' maybe, I scorn to tell a lie, an-
ot her from myself as he was on the move, an' iv he re-
mained 'tisn't cleer to me but he'd get more on the bark
o' that again—an' now what can ye make ov it, gintle-
men ?"—( Laughter)
_ _

Magidrate—Did you give these people provocation ?
" Oh! stranglin' to me ov I did," sighed Owen
Giltenane.

Mrs. Hartigan banged her hands together three times
in succession, as if frightening sparrows from a corn
field, and caused the weaver to retrograde a pace or
two, ‘• On, biug anounds! D'ye hear this work ?" she
said in a voice of suppressed passion. " Why, then,
juit listen to nie a mi 1111 l t, my Worships, an' it I don't
make ye sins;ble ov his bantherin.' Micky Keane
was takin' a dhraw o' the paper, an' readin' re-
spectin' Shina ; an' we:l an' good, if he was, he med
mention ov one Lin : he is, 1 think meself, one o'
their lord 1 Ili:lents or judges, or some other sort ov a
gincral ove r 'em. Be gor,' says this man, you'll find
be's a discindant from Bryan O'Lynn,' says he, I
wish I was a poor relation ov his at the present writin.'
' Arra the d-1 choke yourself and himself,' says tni!
husband, can't you let the boy read the news ior uz ?'
Oh, no. nothin' I'd do Misther Giltenane bu: to keep bob-
bin' his head from side to side, an' cracking his fingers,
and singiti'—

" Bryan O'Lynn had no watch to put on,
So he F coo p'd out a turiiip to make him a one,
Then he clapp'd a criket snug onther the skin ;
Whap ! they'll think it is 'tickin,' says Brian O'Lynn."
—( Great laughter.)
44 Well," says his Worship, " as there has been no
great datmige done, pay the cost of the summons, and
let him alone for the future."

" We're obliged to you," responded Mrs. Hartigan,
in an equivocal tone—" but, if that exainp e ov a
wheaver di,turbs us again, confusion to me if I don't
give him a maul myself, aad make his head as soft
as any other part aqout him."

COURT OF REQUESTS.
TOWER HAMLETS.

FAMILY JARS.—Terry Malony, a broad-shouldered
Eineraider, summoned his brother-in-law, Mike O'Brian,
fur 65., the amount of a surgeon's bill for mending the
head of the said Terry Malony, which the other had
broken by means of a quart pot and a cudgel.
The plaintiff and defendant, who were both coal-
whippers, occupy apartments in the same house in
Gibbet's,alky, near the Match-walk, Shadwell, and the
aforesaid breach in the plaintiff's " upper story" was the
climax to a bit of a domestic " shindy" they had, by
way of winding up a political dispute.
" Yer wurtchup," said Malony, the plaintiff, " Mike's
a repaler, bad look to him."
Commissioner—Well, what has that to do with his
breaking your head ? Are " repalers," as you call
them, in the habit of cracking sconces ?
Malony—Sure, yer wurtchup, it's anything they'll
crack that stands in the way ov 'ern. It's a bloodthirsty
nather Mike is to be ill-treating his own kin.
Commissioner—ln what way are you related to the
defendant ?

Malony—Yer wurtchup, wasn't his own wife named
Milony, which same is my own father's maiden name,
and she's his nAtheral dart her.

Commissioner—Then, from what I can unders'and,
you are his brother-in-law ?

Malony— That's throe, and a mighty onfrindly
blaggard he is. Sure I thought I was " idt" intitely
whin hit sthruck me Will the quart pot.
Commissioner—You Irish can do nothing without
finishing it with a fight. Hots did t'lis row begin ?
Terry Malony, the riattitirl. scratened his head,
" blessed" tornsulf, and engaged to " the wool
truth." From his stoty. it appeared, that. Terry and his
brother-in-law having indulgt•d rather too freely wth
drops of the " cr,,thur," waxed somewhat political,
and proceeded to argue the rel rtive ad, antages and dis-
advantages that wound accru,2 from " a repale of the
union." Mike, it seemed, was it red hot " repaler,"
but Terry " rowed the other way," and their dispute,
like political disputes in other quarters, led to high
words ; and Mike who, like many other Irish orators,
was somewhat intemperate and violent, though he had
no prospective anticipations of being rewarded with a
Commissionership, in the " heat of debate" flung an
empty quart pot at his relative's head and cat it open,
and afterwards applied a plaster in the shape of a stout
oaken cudgel. For repairing this same breach the me-
dical gentleman charged G.;., to recover which Terry
summoned Mr. Alice O'Brien.
Cotnmissioner—Was your head seriously injured by
the defendant, Malony ?
Malony—Faith an' I was, yer wurtchup, lucky it
was a thr,flin4 thickness or it's " kilt" I'd beet) as dead
as a herring.
Commissioner_Ali, you see under such circum-
stances it is an advantage to possess a thick head.—
(Laughter.)
Terry, whose cranium appeared to he rs substantial
as a brick wall, agreed with the L arucd Cotutnissmner
that the brains, where there were "Env, ought to be eel
defended.

C..tiunissioner—Well. Mike, it seems prlty lear to
me that you broke Sour relation'', fif ad ; wfq do you
4
refuse to pay for mending it ?
Defendant—O.:by, yer harrier, Terry begun ti.e
shindy, which me witness, wid your banner's lave, will
prove.

Commissioner —Well, let us hear your witness. •
A ragged Irishman here came forward, and was asked
by the Commissioner what he knew of the transaction,
" Plaze yer riverance," said Miki,'s ragged witness-
" I'm from the county Cork s venteen year barrin' Sew
wakes, and"—

. _
Commissioner—«e don't want to know bow lon
you have liven from Cm k. or IA ht the r y, u our
coat button,,d bet,ittd, but tnerv:y whetht r yiw
.thythiog about this ran-acf
Witnt ss No, h mg, harr.i,' that th hot ti
ounly Terry's a mighty dale the worst on 'em.