The Sun.
London, England, 1840-04-18 00:00:00

THE StTN, LONDON, SATURDAY, APRIL 18, !sot

MIDDLESEX COURT Or

REQUESTS.

It is a grievous thing to go without one's dinner,
but to be robbed of one's dinner, and that dinner a
Sunday one, and a " beef-steak pie" into the bargain,
is one of the most diabolical sumptuary thefts that can
by possibility be perpetrated in this our" dining" coun-
try. " Robbing a child of its bread and butter" is as
a flea to a kangaroo, compared with it.
" give you 2s. 6d., Mrs. Noble, for what I eat,"
said a jolly red-faced fellow, who appeared to be exert-
ing his persuasive powers to induce Mrs. Noble not to
bring her case before the Court. " I'll make it 35.,"
said he, as the said Mrs. Noble proceeded towards the
green baized table ; " and as your young 'uns he.:t some
of mine, I think as I make you a we-ry good heifer."
No, that I won't," said Mrs. Noble ;
" it's disgrace-
ful, and a butcher, too, as you are, Mr. Barton."
Three shillings,"repeated Mr. Barton.
Mrs. Noble shook her head.
Mr. Com Missioner DUBOIS—WiII you have the good-
ness (addressing the parties) to permit the Court to
know what it is you are talking about. We cannot hear
a word you say.
Mrs. Noble (who appeared inclined to be out of
tomper with every body)—Nobody likes to be robbed
of a beef-steak pie on a Sunday.
Mr. Commissioner DUBOIS—Nor any other day, I
fancy, Mrs. Noble.
" Will you take 3s. 6d. ?" whispered the butcher to
the irascible Mrs. Noble.
Mrs. Noble (in a low tone)—No ; I won't take
3s. 6d., nor 45., nor 4s. 6d. The pie had four pounds
eleven ounces of beef in it,: at 7:td. a pound, and eight
pen'orth of oysters, and there was half a pound of butter
in the crust.

Mr. Commissioner DUBOIS requested Mrs. Noble to
state, as calmly as her feelings would permit her, the
facts of the robbery.
Mrs. Noble proceeded to do so with great volubility.
It appeared that on Sunday, the 29th of March, she
had her husband's father, her own mother, and two
uncles, to dinner. As they were to come early, and
spend the whole day with her, she made the pie over-
night, so that she m4lit be entirely at the service of her
guests. The pie was duly sent to the bakehouse, and,
as was thought, fetched home and placed upon the table,
" but the very fust cut as I gave into the crust," said
she, " I know'd as the pie warn't mini.'
Mr. Barton—You couldn't have no cause to find
fault with the crust. My missis made it herself.

Mrs. Noble—lt waru't made no way fit for company.
Aud Mrs. Noble wanted to argue this point with the
butcher, and also whether the crust of a beef-steak pie
ought to be made wish suet, butter, or lard.
Mr. Commissioner Dusots—That is a matter of taste,
I Fresume, Mrs. Noble. Proceed, if you please.
Mrs. Noble (positively)—lt's not a matter of taste,
it's—

Mr. Commissioner Dußois—We'll not discuss the
point at present. Have the goodness to tell us the re-
maining particulars about the robbery.
Mrs. Noble proceeded to do so. She said that di-
rectly she withdrew the knife from the pie she made
her husband run back to the baker's with it. Unfor-
tunately, the baker could not tell who it was that had
got the dish with the " four pounds eleven ounces of
beef-steak, at 71d. per lb., eight pen'orth of oysters,
and half a pound of butter in the crust." What was
Mr. Noble to do ? Like a prudent man, he took the
pie home again, in order to see whether any thing was
lost by the exchange. Mrs. Noble prepared herself to
dish out the stranger pie, when to her consternation, she
discovered that, instead of its containing any thing like
the well compounded and savoury dish she had lost, it
was full of nothing but breasts of mutton. " Breasts
of mutton !" said she, turning up her nose, " these
didn't cost more than 34d. a pound, and we was obliged
to go without our dinner."
"6 Well, Mr. Barton, what have you to say to the
charge against you ?" inquired the Commissioner.
Mr. Barton—Why, she heat some of my pie.
Mrs. Noble declared that there was merely a corner
gone, which one of her children got to the cupboard
and pilfered while she was down stairs on the Monday
mornir, buying-some fish.
Mr:Barton explained, that he also had company on
the Sunday in question, and that, while his wilet was
down in the kitchen attending to the " wedgetable," he
cut up the pie (as he averred) ; of cour,,e he was not
aware of the excellent dinner the plaintiff, Mrs. Noble,
had prepared for his company.
Mr. Commissioner DUBOlS—Surely your wife told
you of the mistake ?
Mr. Barton (looking very knowing)—Not till arter
dinner, and I don't see as it would have been of any
use to tell our friends about it, as l'd served all the
pie out.
Mr. Commissioner Dußois—You must have had a
pretty numerous family party.
Mr. Barton—Yes, eleven on us.
Mrs. Noble was questioned as to whether she had re-
turned the defendant's pie. She swore she had, and
Mr. Barton was adjudged to pay .55., the sum which the
pie had cost her.

BOROUGH COURT OF REQUESTS.

PIGS AMONG THE ROSES.—JUDY DONOVAN'S
CHICKENS.—" Long life and good look to ycr banners,
ivery mother's son of ye,
.and may ye niver want for the
praste's blessing, or a dhrop iv the crathur," exclaimed
Judy Donovan, an Irish ".widdy," with a remarkably
red nose, and the brogue in beautiful perfection, as soon
as she entered the Court. " It's not meself wot's used
to koorts iv law, or the likes iv that, but all I axes for is
satisfaction, and, as Mishter O'Connell says, justice to
Ireland!"
COMMISSIONER—Who do you want satisfaction of?
Judy—Mistlu ess Malony, vvot's standing by the side iv
me (pointing to a strapping Irishwoman.)
COMMISSIONER—WeII, what bas Mrs. Malony done
to you ?

Judy—Sure it warn't meself at all Not sbe did it to,
but the chickens, poor innocent crathurs
Judy hero put herself into an attitude marvellously
resembling that of the Right Hon. little Member for
Tipperary when he commences one of his harangues
in the House of Commons, and she proceeded to detail
her grievances ; from which it appeared that herself
and Mrs. Malony occupied diminutive mansions next
door to each other in a court at the back of Kent-
street. But though such near neighbours, the tastes
of the two " ladies " were diametrically opposite, as
will be shown. Mrs. Donovan delighted in pigs and
chickens, and had provided in the small domain behind
her residence accommodation for a couple of grunters,
and some cocks and hens, while the more refined taste
of Mistress Malony displayed itself in the delightful
science of horticulture, for, instead of pigsties and hen-
roosts, her " back-yard " was laid out as a parterre,
on a small scale certainly, but it was a flower-garden
nevertheless. Mrs. Donovan's pigs and chickens, it
seemed, possessed a violent penchant for poaching upon
other people's manors, and, if ever the gate dividing
the two tenements was by chance left open, the whole
family never failed to pay Mistress Malony's flower-
garden a visit, greatly to her annoyance. It was not
love, but pigs among the roses.
" The pigs in Norah's garden strayed,
And o'er her crocus beds they played,
And grubbed up with their eager noses,
The lilies, tulips, and the roses."
That individual must, indeed, possess infinitely more
philosophy than the generality of the human race, who
can calmly witness his horticultural labours utterly
thwarted by either swine or fowls. Mrs. Malony was
not a philosopher of this grade, for one day observing
the masculine member of Judy Donovan's feathered
family in his garden, and hearing him' give a prelimi-
nary " crow," previous to the enjoyment of a vegetable
bonne bouche in the shape of the bulbous root of a
snowdrop, she sallied forth, " fury depicted in her
countenance," and armed with a broomstick, with
which she bestowed such an unmerciful thwack upon
poor chanticleer, that he gave up the ghost without
a struggle. This " decisive measure "on the part of
Mrs. Malony led to a mighty " row" between herself
and Judy Donovan, and induced the latter to sum-
mon her to this Court for 55., the alleged value of the
defunct fowl.
did the fowl survive
COMMISSIONER—How lone
after she struck it ?
Judy—Yer banners, no time at all ; it was kilt di-
rectly. Judy here burst out into a plaintive howl, to
show her grief at the loss of her favourite bird.
The COMMISSIONER inquired of Mrs. Malony whether
she objected to pay the money.
Defendant—Yer hanner, ax her if her bastely pigs
didn't root up all me wallflowers, and whether the bid-
dys (chickens) didn't pick up all me snowdrops.
COMMISSIONEL-But there was no occasion to kill
the fowl ; you could have driven it away.
Judy—ln koorse she could, ycr banner ; it's the very
same thing that I tould her meself, the murthering ha_
then.
A good deal of recriminatory conversation here
ensued between the plaintiff and defendant, who op-
the " steam up" for a fight, but
peered to be getting
the Commissioner interfered, and said the opinion of the
Court was that chanticleer had no right to intr
was ude snot
nto
Mrs. Malony's flower garden, but that h
e
s-
justified in using the brooms t lyt
2i
sn.
tideh Omnal ny
g half
beige h did.
They should adjudge her to p
the sum claimed.
The plaintiff expressed some dissatisfaction at the
verdict, and left the Court murmuring something about
"justice to Ireland," and a repale of the union.

The Dowager Duchess of Bedford has taken up
an establishment at Campden.hill. Her Grace and the Ladies
Georgiana and Rachel Russell visited Woburn obey en route
from the Marquis of Abercorn's seat in Ireland.
We are informed that the Spica' Sermon on
Easter Thursday will be preached at Christ.church, Newgate-
street, by the Rev. Dr. Hook, Vicar of Leeds, and Chaplain in
Ordinary to the Queen. On the following Sunday, the 26th
inst., the same celebrated Divine will preach in the morning at
St. Ceorge's Church, Camberwell, us aid of the National
Schools of that populous district ; and in the evening the vene-
ble Archdeacon Wilberforce will advocate the cause of thesame
important charity. •