The Sun.
London, England, 1840-01-15 00:00:00

LIFE IN A STEAMER.

The following is an extract from " The Letter-Bag of
the Great Western, or Life in a Steamer." By the
Author of the " Sayings and Doings of SAMUEL

" LETTER FROM AN OLD HAND.
"MY DEAR JAMES,--Just as I was embarking, I
received your letter requesting me to give you a full
account of my voyage, and such hints as might be
useful to you when you shall make the passage your-
self'. The first is unnecessary, for there is nothing to
tell. Every man is alike, every woman is alike (they
are more alike than the men, too much of the devil in
them), every ship is alike, especially steam-ships, and
the incidents of one voyage arc common to all—' Facies
non omnibus una, nee tainen diverse.
" The company usually consists of young Officers
joining regiments ; talk, Gibraltar, Cape, Halifax,
Horse Guards, promotion and sporting—of naval men ;
talk, insults to flag, foreign stations, crack frigates, round
sterns, old admiral—of speculators ; talk, cotton, to-
l'acco, flour—of provincials ; talk, Durham, Head, Col-
borne, Poulett Thomson—of travellers ; talk Nlississipi,
Niagara, Mahone Bay—of women ; talk, headache,
amusements, and nonsense about Byron—of -Yankees ;
talk, Loco Focos go a-head, dollars—of manufacturers ;
talk, steam, factors and machinery—of blockheads ;
who chatter like monkeys about everything. The in-
cidents are common to all ; fall on the deck—wet
through—very sick—bad wine—cold dinner—rough
weather—shipt a sea, and a tureen of soup—spoke to a
ship, but couldn't hear—saw a whale, but so far off,
only a black line—feel sulky. There is nothing, how-
ever, to tell you but what has been told a thousand
times, and never was worth telling once ; but there are
a few maxims worth knowing.
" Ist. Call steward, inquire the number of your
cabin ; he will tell you it is No. 1, perhaps. Ah, very
true, steward ; here is half-a-sovereign to begin with ;
don't forget it is No. 1. This is the beginning of the
voyage, I shall not forget the end of it. He never does
lose sight of No. 1, and you continue to be No. 1 ever
after ;—best dish at dinner, by accident, is always placed
before you, best attendance behind you, and so on. You
can never say with the poor devil that was henpecked,
The first of the tea and the last of the coffee for poor
Jerry.9—l always do this.
" 2d. If you are to have a chum, take a young one,
and you can have your own way by breaking him in your-
self.—l always do.
"3d. If the berths are over each other, let the young
fellow climb, and do you take the lowest one ; it is
better he should break his neck than you,—/ always do.
"4th. All the luggage not required for immediate
use is marked below.' Don't mark yours at all, and
you have it all in your own cabin, where you know
where to find it when you want it. It is not then
squeezed to death by a hundred tons of trunks. If you
have not room in your cabin for it all, hint to your
young chum he has too much baggage, and some of it
must go' below.'—l always do.
" sth. Don't talk French, it brings all those chat-
tering, grimacing fellows about you.—l never do.
" 6th. Make no acquaintance with women, on many
accounts ; first, they have no business on board ; and,
secondly, they are too troublesome.—l never do.
" 7th. Never speak to a child, or you can't get
clear of the nasty little lapdog-thing ever afterwards.—
/ never do.

" Bth. Always judge your fellow-passengers to be

the opposite of what they appear to be. For in-
stance, a military man is not quarrelsome, for
no man doubts his courage ; a snob is. A
clergyman is not over straitlaced, for his piety is not
questioned—but a cheat is. A lawyer is not apt to be
argumentative ; but an actor is. A woman that is all
smiles and graces is a vixen at heart; snakes fascinate.
A stranger that is obsequious, and over civil without
apparent cause, is treacherous ; cats that pur arc apt to
bite and scratch like the devil. Pride is one thing, as-
sumption is another ; the latter must always get the
cold shoulder, for whoever shows it is no gentleman ;
men never affect to be what they are, but what they are
not. The only man who really is what he appears to
be, is—a gentleman.—l always judge thus.
" 9th. Keep no money in your pockets ; when your
clothes are brushed in the morning, it is apt—ahem—to
fall out.—l never do.
" 10th. At table see what wine the Captain drinks
it is not the worst.—l always do.
" 11th. Never be at home ' on any subject to stu-
pid fellows, they won't again.'—/ never ant.
" 12th. Never discuss religion or politics with those
who hold opinions opposite to yours ; they are subjects
that heat in handling until they burn your fingers.
Never talk learnedly on topics you know, it :nakes peo-
ple afraid of you. Never talk on subjects you don't
know, it makes people despise you. Never argue, no
man is worth the trouble of convincing ; and the
better you reason, the more obstinate people become.
Never pun on a man's words, it is as bad as spitting in
his face ; in short, whenever practicable, let others per-
form, and do you look on. A seat in the dress circle
is preFerable to a part in the play.—This is my mit.
"I3th. Be always civil, and no one will wish to in

rude to you ; be ceremonious, and people can_-,,0t if they
would. y Impertinence seldom honours eau with a visit
without an invitation ;at least-4 rilwoysfind it so.
" 14th. Never sit opposite a carving-dish ; there is
not time for doing pretty.—./ never do.

" 15th.—Nevr take a place opposite a newly-mar-
ried couple. It is a great many things—tiresome, tan-
talising, disgusting, and so on.—./ never do.
" IGth.—Never sit near a subordinate officer of the
ship ; they are always the worst served, and are too
much at home to be agreeable .—I never do.

" 17th.—Never play at cards. Some people know
too little for your temper, and others too much for your
pocket.—/ never du.

" 18th.—There is one person to whom you should be
the most attentive and obliging, and even anticipate his
wants. His comfort should be made paramount to every
other consideration, namely, yourself.—l alzeop do.
" There are many other corollariefrom these maxims,
which a little reflection will suggest to you ; but it is a
rule never to write a long leiter.—/ never do.
" Your's always,
" JOHN STAGER."
The Duk D-

to of .evonshire is expected at Devon-
shire House this afternoon, from Chatsworth.
LIBERALITY OF lIER MAJESTY.—Her Ma-
jesty, who is ever alive to the wants and necessities of
the distressed and unfortunate, and who loses no op-
portunity of evincing her charitable and bene,:i'neilt
feelings, was no sooner apprised of the deatl-, of Lieu-
tenant-Colonel Steel, one of the. Milifrary Knights of
Windsor, and of the painful situati`in to which his poor
widow was consequently redue:,d, than she caused the
necessary inquiries as to state of Mrs. Steel to be
made in the proper tltr..-tter ; and the result of those in-
quiries confirmin: the previous accou its which had
reached the aoyal car, her Majesty, without any appli-
catio.: having been made at the Castle, hearing
that a subscription was about to be opened for
the bereaved widow, immediately gave instruc-
tions to have her name placed on the list for
the amount of ten pounds. Such an example, so spon-
taneously set by her Majesty, was speedily followed by
the affluent and humane in the neighbourhood of Wi:ad-
sor, and the subscription list now makes a most 'respec-
table appearance in the names and amounts -.v'hich have
since been added to it. A day or two previously to her
Majesty's departure from Windsor, on Friday last, the
Queen contributed the sum of forty pounds, to be given
away to the poor of the parish in articles of warm
clothing—the objects of her Majesty's bounty to be
selected by the Rev. IsP.ao Gosset, the vicar of New
Windsor, and the tvr:, churchwardens, Messrs. Adams
and Cobden.

ECONIJ EDITION.

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