The Sun.
London, England, 1841-02-16 00:00:00

KILRUSH PETTY SESSIONS.

" Nene so deaf as those try—t
don't wish to bean"—
; Old Play.
When men are disposed to quarrel, more especially
the mercurial children of Paddyland, small matter will
suffice as " cause of action."
" Colonel Montgomery," says an anecdote-compiler,
" was shot in a duel about a dog ; Captain Mathews i,a
one about a servant ; Sterna's father in one about a
goose ; and another gentleman in one touching an acre
of anchovies." What marvel, then, that Siney Culp :a
(a gentleman following the peaceful occupation, albs
requiring pluck, of feather-picker) should make I his
debut with a nose like the towns on the coast of Syria,
coesiderably damaged, and as palpable a black rye as
ever the Frawley of I3endigo, taunt, or Nick Ward in-
flicted while philandering in the fistie ring.
Master Siny seemed determined from the commen ce-
ment to make an impression, and accordingly, witl t a
vast show of priyaey, he produced a small bottle, a ad,
wetting a piece of whity-brown paper, turned his b ack
on the Bench, and patted with the nostrum his damaged
ogle. When Was done, ''Tis the work, gintlemt •n,"
said Mr. Cushen, " of Tim Barrett, there—that boy
that's stoopin' his head an' makin' h'lieve to ate the
crown ov his hat. The dear knows 'tis no admire Lion
he'd be ashamed to show his face afther the Luanne r in
which he used mine."—(A laugh.)
The individual alluded to, a " Master Slender "in
proportions, togged in a cast-off military coat, for vi hich,
when his measure was taken, be was evidently at sent,
popped up his phiz at Siny's appeal, but he might have
remained quiet, for a champion was at hand. " I lould
the child a minit, Tim Barrett," exclaimed a little pi tnchy
red-faced woman, whom we instantly conjecture) , and
we were right in so doing, to be Mrs. Barrett ii erseif,
and no other. " Hould the child, Tim," said sh e, de-
positing in his arms what Bulwer calls a pledge of n iutual
affection. Tim did as he was bid, evidently much
pleased with his charge. " Isn't id a hardship, my
lard, your reverinces o' the binch," said our hi roine,
" that honest, industherii, pains-takin', laborious,, finely-
keracthered people, ud be dhragged into coort be the
like o' that sprisawn ? Eh, isn't id, gintlemen ? "
Their worships intimated to the excited quet ,tioner,
that they had not yet got into the matter, an 1 that
she was net included in the charge. " Yot it hus-
band there is the only rerson summoned," • said a
Magistrate.

Mrs. Barrett looked all over the roof of the Court,
and then took as accurate survey of Master C ;uslien's
exterior, as if she were paid by the inch for s a doing,
and then opened—" Why, thin, the Lord gr ant the
mother ov five childer patience this day, but 'tis
enough to—to—to tantalise people, so it is . Erra,
misther Justice of the Pace, Tim Barrett is so deaf
he would'ot bear a cannon."—(Laughter.)
The aggrieved Mr. Cushen looked as ti ough he
thought this was going a lectle too far. " Ol• . mercy,
Mrs. Barrett, m'am," he inquired in a tremuli )us voice,
and papering his eye as he spoke, " Whin 4. id himself
groW hard o' hearin'? Begor I'm acquaints i I wid the
same man these six years, an' till this minit : i was full
sure he'd hear the grass growin', if ever a man did.
Oh! be the tare o' war 'tis surprisin' hot i suddint
diseases comes on people." He then turned to the ac-
cused, " How long arc you so deaf, Tim Bar rett, might
I ax ?" But Timotheus had his cue. " ' Don't cry,
now, that's a lanna ma'chree, he was," said he, sooth-
ingly, and patting the dirty cap that cot stained his
child's head ; " easy, now, an' we'll buy ce kes." He
then clapped his listener close to the babel ; mouth, as
if trying to catch its attempt at speech, amid I the laugh-
ter of all present. "Oh ! begor that's a nate young
man," said Siny Cushen, dejectedly ; "all I know is,
that he sthruek me in at Micky Roughen's, for breakin'
hisdhudeen be accidint."

Mrs. Barrett—" Whisht, you goose-expi nen Didn't
I see you, wid me own two eyes, pelt a kir iwn o'turf at
him, an' knock the top ov his pine off Oat ie an' clear,
an he sthrivin' at the time to hear Mistb er Markham
explainin' about the poor-laws.
"On I know ; thrue for you, ma' 'am, returned
Siny, winking his best eye, and bad was the best, and
once more applied the wash to his of )tic, while he
glanced pathetically. at the bench.
Tim Barrett extended his hand, 1001 :ing as uncon-
scious as possible. " Give us the hand, Siny," he ex-
claimed. "Is id anything me wife an'y, 3 urself has agin
each other ?"

"Oh ! let bylines be by-Bones," • and he looked
quite bewildered, replied Master Cushe. n, "I'll be gone
home, so I will ;" and home he accord; ugly went.
Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, having re ceived a lecture
from the Bench, then withdrew.