The Sun.
London, England, 1864-04-28 00:00:00

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A Bit of Banter about the Cont
(From No. lof the Owl.) t2f:;;•14,
The Conference met for the first time e 'lls
at one o'clock. The members ranged
about the round table in the order in wl;krtL 1141V..4,14
respective countries will go to war iremediateqs-on a
the termination of the Conference. Earl Russell
opened the proceedings by calling attontion to the
fact that they were thirteen ; be there fore begged
to introduce the Hon. William Stuart into a round
hole prepared for him in the centre of the table.
His lordship added that the ostensible functions of
Mr. Stuart were those of prctoculist, but that he
was really put there for luck.
Lord Clarendon made the somewhat feeble obser-
vation that he was a round man in around hole.

• :-
The French Ambassador took exception to this
statement, maintaining that he (Prince De la Tour
d'Auvergne) was rounder, and his excellency was
preparing to support this propcsition by Mr.
Banting's pamphlet, when Lord Clarendon cour-
teously waived the point-, in accordance with his
instructions under no circumstances to oppose any
proposition emanating from the French Ambas-
sador.

These preliminaries Imiog been arranged, the
members of the Conference Exchanged full powers
and other acts of c:vility, and Eerl Russell took
advantage of their being thus engaged to vote
himself unanimously into the chair.

1~;,

After reproving the Hon. Williatn Stuart in an
undertone for winking at this, the noble earl pro-
ceeded to state frankly that as they had met to
secure the blessings of peace to the North of Europe,
he would use the strongest and moat abusive lan-
guage against the first member of the Conference
who should raise a difficulty or contradict him.
His lordship went on, however, to explain that her
Majesty's Government were prepared to concede
everything to everybody, and that Lord Clarendon
had been associated with him because be could
speak French, was accustomed to deal with diplo-
matists, and was a man of the world. Lord Russell
modestly concluded by remarking that he dB not
believe anybody, except biamelf, thlyagt.,lliza l
any way qualified for the position he then kill
The Prince de la Tour d'Artvergne said that Lord 1' ,vkitgf•A
Russell was fishing for a compliment, but instead f r

of paying him one he would state at once what his
instructions were. The proposition to which hia •
Imperial master was determined to adhere was that
the will of the population of the Duchies should' ha
consulted, if not by plebiscitum, at all events by
the votes of the Estates convoked ad hoc.

Baron Brunnow begged to remark that in. the
event of any such proposal being made he should
at once leave the table.

Count Apponyi said he had received instructions
to act rather with Russia than with Prussia, but he
did not know exactly what his instructions were,
as Biegeleben had got them, and would not show
them to him.
Baron Biegeleben explained that he had drawn,
them up himself, and insinuated that he had drawn
up every Austrian State paper of any consequence
since the Frankfort Conference.

Baron De Beust said that the less he alluded to
.he Frankfort Conference the better.

At this moment the proceedings were interrupted
by Lord Clarendon, who requested to be allowed to
shake hands all round. The noble lord rose from
his seat, and pressed the hand of each member to
his heart.

Mr. Stuart made a note of this affecting episode.
Baron Da Beust resumed in a calmer tone, stating
that he was prepared to support every proposition
emanating from the French Ambassador, without
even taking the trouble to listen to it.
Count Bernstorff said that his instructions were
to yield nothing, to object to everything, and to= • I
propose the annexation of the Duchies to Germany,
under conditions which should exclude the Angus..
tenburgß, maintain the integrity of Denmark, Jind,
render the influence of Prussia paramount. .. •
Privy Councillor &hal remarked that 3F. - Big-
mark was not the sort of man to stand any nonsense, .
and that you never knew what he was up to. •
Lord Russell requested Mr. Stuart to make
note of that. „

Count Wachtmeister said that be was instructed
to give the Danes openly his support, but that his
secret instructions were quite different,

Baron Da Nile asked. Aim to exhibit his' scorn

instructions.

In accordance with this request, they were handed
Mr. Stuart, to be translated by that gentleman
prom the original Swedish.

Councillor Krieger remarked that he belonged to
the Eider Dane party, and would bring forward a
proposition for a United Scandinavia.
Baron Do Bile announced his intention of cor.
dially co-operating with his colleagues in achieving
this solution, when he received a violent kick on the
shins from 111. Quaade.

At this moment Lord Clarendon again requested
permission to shake hands all round.

Lord Russell then proposed an armistice, which
was agreed to by Baron De Bille and M. Que.ade,
as between themselves, but dissented from, upon,
general principles, by everybody else.
Count Bernstorff complained that Lord Russell
had taken the Conference by surprise.
It was then arranged that the members should
telegraph to their respective Governments for in.
structions how to meet this unexpected proposal.
The meeting then adjourned.

How it was all Arranged,

(From Fun.)

[The Scene is a room in Downing-street. The Dramatis
Personie are two in number; the one an aged man, over
whose head many summers had passed,* yet still of
jaunty steps; the other a younger man of astute mien
and budget-calculating eye. The aged one answers to
the name of P—n, the younger that of G—a.]
P—N.—Good morning, ',Gladdy, Johnny and I have
been talking over Garibaldi, and we don't half like it.
G--n.—Pooh I nonsense I what's the matter now !

p—s.—Well, Johnny says the British constitution is
in danger, and won't admit of so much enthusiasm.:
G---F. (sneering)—And he wants to write a despatcll

upon it,.

P—N.—Well, he did at first, but I dissuaded him. It
is wonderful what messes that little man gets into with pez%
and ink. I knookad the idea on the head at onoe.

G--E (with relief) —I should think so. Johnny wants
to go down to posterity as the (not always) polite letter-
writer of thn Victorian era, and signally fails in the attempt.
But how about Garibaldi ? I suppose you're not afraid of
the Tories getting up another Stansfeld-Mazzini row and
kicking us out ?
not exactly that. But you see--
G.—B.—No, I don't see anything except your fear 01
our being kicked out.
P--)r.—The Conference—
G.—•-•4l.—Another of Johnny's projects.
be seriously embarrassed by the presencil
of the General in England.

G—B.—Nonsense !—what's he got to do with it ?
nothing ; but thenthe Emperor mightn't
ike it if lie stays.

G--B.—And the country won't like it if he goes:
Utrunt hrum maris accipe, and the elections coming on.
P—N—We are on the horns of a dilemma. Dear,
dear I what's to be done ?

G----E—Done ? Why I hum I ha I If you you really
think his presence will hinder the Conference, it ii
awkward.

P—N (tvluedlingly)—Don't you think, Gladdy, as a
known friend of Italy, you could suggest to him on the
quiet, as they say vulgarly—
G —E.—Vcry vulgarly—but proceed.

P—S.—That if he were to—that is to say, should it be
possible—shorten his proposed sojourn in this country, it
it would be as well. His health, you know, Can't stand all
the excitement he is undergoing; and then consider hie
wound.

G —E.—Tell him to go, that's what you mean. Why
don't you say so at once ?

P--N.—Oh, no ; nothing of the sort. I should be the
very last 'pon ray honour I should—wouldn't hear of it for
a moment. But you see, Gladdy--
G—E. (with intense disgust)-oh, I see. I suppose I
must do it, and here are no three courses open to me. What
dirty work we unfortunate statesmen have to do somotimes.
(And somehow or other Garibaldi's stay in this country
was shortened. Curious—very

sf?

0.4

1

STEAM RAMS.—A trial at Bar is appointed to take
place on the fifth day of next term, in the Court of Exche•
quer, for the trial of this case•

- -
THE CONVICT DEVINE.—The Sheriffs have re•
ceived a communication from the Ilome-offico ac.
quainting them that there does not appear any sufaciont
cause for interference with the execution of the capital
sentence, the death of the murdered man having been the
direct result of deadly violence committed is cold blood for
the purpose of robbery, &e,

HIGII WATER AT LONDON BRIDGE.
TlllB DAY.—Moraing, 6h. 10m.—Afternoon, 6h. 86:n.
10-monnow.-Morninp:, :7h. 3m,—Afternoon, 7h. 40m.