The National Register.
London, England, 1815-02-26 00:00:00

THE NATIONAL REGISTER.

THE. MASKk;RS OF MOORHELDS.

- A -very amusing little work hal just appeared under-this
title, with the name of the late Anthony enlinhogl, Gent. as its
author. Notwithstanding the testimony of the title page and
biographical preface, the refined wit and polished satire which
enliven every part, seem to flow from a more celebrated pen
than that of the unknown Mr. Gritfinhoof. Eminent writers,
as well as great painte:s, bestow a richness of colouring, a
peirity of design, and a glow of expression on their works,
which reveal their authors. From the following passages,
which describe some. political groups of maFgueraders, the
public will probably think with us that Mr. Colman need
riot blush at being considered their author.

" I was about, to reply to this, when my attention was arrested

by a fantastical groups, seated at a long table, and all of them ap-
parently in a profonad trance. It will excite your wonder, perhaps,
to learn, said my conductor, that these persons are all of the sena-
torial on r. They are unhappily subject t* the projecting mania,
all accordingly appear here in the characters of a Company of
Projeetors.
" Upon this he applied his bellows to the ear of the nearest se-
nator (who, by the bye. I should observe, was dressed in the cha-
racter of Guy Fawkes), atri, srpteezing the blaiders of faction and
• discontent, pitched him from his soat with such a spring, that
thought he would have overturned the table, with all the projectors
in the bargain, However, I was surprised to find, that they were
so intent on their speculations, as not to be, in the least, discon-
certed by the shock. When the discomposed senator had regained
his legs, he began, in the most furious manner, to inveigh against

Ministers, for, not bnitiling a new Parliament House instead of the
present, whir!), lie said, was by far of too modern a make, and, be-
*ides, not baif large enough for all that ought to be admitted as
Meinhers, and who, be said, if they had justice done them, would
amount, at least, to ten thousand. Upon this, openin: a dark

1 inthorti, which he held in his hand, lie read aloud, from an old umsty
p 'refitment, the following proj-ct. 1 A plan for blowing up both
Houses of Parliament, and thr reNtoring the ground, whereon they
stand, to its original state ; and for erectiag in their stead a new
state hoo'e, to be called a Pandgemoninin.' Having read this lie,
heg•au to decant, with great vehemence, on the merits of the project

'which, be protested, would not cost the cation half as much gun-

powder, as had been consumed in one meek by our army in Spain.
He then dwelt very earnestly on the subject of the Pandemonium
itself. for propos*, which he claimed considerable merit, as he
hoped thereby to restore the Parliament-house to its primitive splen.
dour ; since lie meant, that Isis Pandaoionium should, in every re-

apect, resemble the Parliament house of antiquity of that name,
which, as it was .the first ever built, ought to ben model for all in•
tore ones. He was going on, in ►he same violent •train, to explain
another project for bloWing up ail the jails in the kingdom begin

tin?, with the Tower,' when he was stopt by a voice from the crowd
requesting to know, as he had thought proper only to advert to the
sixpence of the gunpowderywho was to defray the cost of erecting his
proposed Pandeemonium, which promised to be no trifle, if it was,
ea he said, in every respect to rese►nble it; ancient prototype, of
which Milieu gives so magnificent a description. Our projector

FEB.'

seemed quite set down by this simple question; for he slunk away'
like Ajax's ghost, witbout.deigning to give any answer. -
When he had disappeared, my conductor asked me, if I knew
who that senator was? Upon replying in the negative, I was told
he was a pOor bewildered baronet, who had devoted all his life to
this project; that he had lavished more,tban halfhis fortune at diffe-
rent times, in contesting a seat in parliament, for the mere purpose
of bringing it forward ; and that the matter had always terminated,
as I had just seen, whenever an objection was made to the expenee
(lithe Pandatmonium. And yet, proceeded Signor Bedlamado, as
g one fool makes many; this person can boast of an immense nombee
of proselytes ; whom he has accordingly established into a new poli-
tical sect, under the appellation of Panddensoniacs.
" Having given me this explanation, he bestowed several I►earty
thwacks with the bladders on the heads of the sleeping projector,,
which, he told me, would render any other use of his bellows unne-
cessary. This I found to be the case ; for the whole company were
immediately on their legs ; and, in spite of the coetlision that en-
sued from all speaking at once, I was oble to distinguish the follow-
ing projects, and which were, perhaps, the most singular of the
whole.

44 One was a plan for the abolition of capital punishments,' by
the invention of certain steel tubes, to be inserted in the windpipes
of conden►ed malefactors, by means of which they might undergo-,
the ignominy of hanging, without "suffering any further inconveni-
ence from it. This temsrkable project (the hint of which which was
fakes, as Signor Bedlainado assured me, from a h►cky dog of an
Irishman, who, about twenty yeas ago, survived three executions
by the assistance of a broken tobacco-pipe, which be had placed in
his throat for the purpose), was delivered by a tall mask, of a very
solemn deportment, with an ai► of gravity altogether proportina►e
will► the importance of the discovery. These pipes lie proposed to
call Counterstrangnlants, and that every convict should be furnished
with a set by the govern►nent an the morning of. his execution.
And, iu order to save appearances, he intended, that the sheriff', or_
;Hilary, hangman, and all other perso►►s connected with the business,
should be sworn to secrecy ; so that while, for the sake of public ex-
ample, the malefactor might be decently and thoroughly hanged, he
would in fact be preserved for the future benefit of society. And
the only restraint, he would impo.e upon the cnlprit in return for
this act of mercy, would be, that he should ever afterwards disclaim,
and if necessary, ou oath, any knowledge of his former acquaint—
acre or kinsmen ; npon pain, iii case of disobedience, of being
hanged, a second time, without the benefit of the tubes.

COURT-MARTIAL.—A General Court-Martial was held
at the Horse Guards, Whitehall, on the 20th of December,
IS 14, on Serjeant Thomas Sandals, of the Ist regiment of
Foot Guards, for desertion, and embezzling the sum of 2521.
16s. with which he was intrusted to settle the arrears of pay
due to the company to which he belonged. Ile was found
guilty, and sentenced to be transported for seven years, as a
felon. The sentence has been confirmed by the Pi ince Re-
gent.

NEW REMEDY FO2 A CANCER. --M. Ruele, a French
practitioner, asserts, that this cruel disorder may be radically
cured in three days, without any surgical operation, by knead-
ing a piece of dough, about the size of a small hen's egg, and
a lump of hogg's lard, the older the better, of the same di-
mensions.. These substances thoroughly mixed, so :is io
form a kind of salve, must be spread on a piece. of \rid to
leather, and applied to the part affected. • M. Ruele cites
two cases at Paris, of the efficacy of this simple remedy.