The National Register.
London, England, 1820-08-06 00:00:00

THE NATIONAL REGISTER._

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Notes within the meaning of all laws and statutes whatsoever,
and shell and may be describe I as Bank Notes in all indictments
and other criminal and civil proceeding► whatsoever ; any law.
statute,,or user to the contrary notwithstanding.

COMFORT TO OLD BATCHELORS AND RED
HAIRED MAIDENS.

" We find nothing in it worthy of extracting"
is a very common expression with Reviewers—how
different must be the estimation of the book from
which we extract the following two articles: it has
thr some time been before us, but other subjects
have prevented our earlier notice of' it. The publi-
cation is intitled " The Retrospective Review," and
professes to give extracts front only those works
whose antiquity renders them worthy of the Book.
worm's It : It : It:. But for the Extracts—the first
is in proof of the comparatively happy, because less
anxious, life of a man without a family, and we
give it for the comfort of such of our unhappy
readers, reminding them that the comfort of a con-
nubial life are not enumerated, and can be properly
estimated only by those who have tasted them.
" There was a disputation on a time between this Solon, who
was married and had one onely home, a toardly young man, and
Tiges, another of the sages, that was unities:ad, which estate
was better, marriage or a single life: Solon commended matri-
mony, Thales preferred the other: and when he perceived that
he could not perswade Solon by reason and argument to be of his
opinion, he practised this device. When their tante was ended,
being both at Tholes his house, Thales went fsrth and caused
one to faine an errand to him, and say as lie had instructed him.
as though nee came from Athens, where Solon's dwelling was;
this man like a stranger, as these wise men were talking together
within the house, knoeketh at the doore ; Tholes knell him in :
the man faineth a message to him from a friend of his at
Athens : Solon hearing him say that hee caine from Athens :
Solon hearing him say that bee came frail' Athens, went
forth of the next room to him, and asked what news from
Athens? Little news (quoth lie) but as I came forth of the
city, I saw the senatours and Rrincipati men of Athens going to
the bunall of a young man. Solon going into the other rooms
again. and musing who this should be, being in some doubt lest
peradventure this should be his sonne, commit forth to hini
spine, and asked him who it should be that was dead ? He
answered that he had forgotten his mine, but it was the onely
sonne of a notable man in Athens, and that for the reverence
and love that they did beare to his father, all die nobilitie and
principal' men of the city went to his burial'. Then Solon
greatly confused and troubled in minde, goeth from him againe,
fearing his owne bonne, and being faire out of quiet, returned'
to aske him, whether he could not call to remembrance the
name of this young man's father, if he heard it reckoned ? He
answered, that he thought he could remember his name. if he
might heart it againe. And after Solon had reckoned up the
names of a great many of the principall men of the city, and the
other denying them to be die man. he cane at last to his own
name. and asked whether he were not called Solon ? And when
the other affirmed nut to be the name of the father of this young
man that was dead, Solon cryeth out upon his onely sonne, anti
maketh great lamentation ; he taireth his haire, and beateth his
head against the wal. and doth all things that men use to do in
easy ot calamitie. W hen Thales had beheld him &Awhile in this
passion. be of good comfort, Solon, (saith lie) thy mine ;
but now you see by your owne example what evil! things are
incident to marriage."
The second Extract is a complimentary article to
red haired ladies; and if it afford an idea to any
sighing swain, whose bulcinea may possess locks of
so classic hue we shall be gratified.
" Glorious fruit of the essence of die most beautiful' visible
being ! intelligent reflection of the radical' fire of nature ! image
of the sun, the most perfect I I am not so brutish as to mistake
for my queen, the daughter of him that my ancestors acknow-
ledged for their god. Athens oemoaned the fall of her crown,
in the ruins of Apollo's temple,; Home ceaied to command the
world, when she denyed incense to the light; and Bumentium
first began to inslave mankind. when she woke for her arms
those of the sun's sister : as long as Persia did homage to this
universal' spirit, for the rayes that she held from him, foure
thousand yours could not make old the vigour of her monarchy. ;
but being ready to see his images broken, he took sanctuary in
Pequin from the abuses of Babylon."
A brave head. covered with red hair, is nothing else but the
sun in the midst of his rays ; or the sun himself is only a great
eye under a red periwig; yet all the world speaks ill of it,
because few havethe honour to be so. And amongst a hundred
ladies, you shall hardly.find one, because they being sent twin
Heaven to command, it's necessary there should be more sub-
jects than sovereigns. Do we not see, that all timings in nature
are more or less noble, according as they are more or lease red ;
amongst the elements, he that contains the most essence, and the
least matter of substance, is the fire, because of his colour ; gold
hash received of his dye, the honour to reign over time 'rattails ;
and of all the planets. the sun is most considerable, onely be-
cause he is most red ; the hairy comets which doth fly up and
down the skies, at the death of heroes. are they not the red mus-
tacheoes of die gods, that they pluck off for griefe ? Castor and
Pollux. those little fires that make seamen foretell the end of a
storm, can they be any thing else than the red hairs of Juno.
which she, in token of love sends to Neptune? In fine, had it
not been for the desire men had to possesse the fleece of a
red sheep, the glory of thirty demi-gods would be in the cradle of
those things that never were born. And (a ship being yet but it
recent invention) Americus would have told us that the world
bath Wore parts. Apollo, Venus, and Love, the fairest divini-
tyes of the pantheon, art crimson red ; and Jupiter is brown but
by accident, because of the smoke of his thunder, which hash
blackt him. But if the examples of inythologie do not satifie the
obstinate, let them consult history. Sampson, whose strength
hung at his locks, did he not receive his miraculous energy from
the rednesse of his hair ? Did not the destinies make the con-
servation of the empire of Athens, depend upon one red hair of
Nisus ? And God, would he not have sent the light of faith to
die Ethiopians, if he could have found amongst them but one
red ? One would not doubt of the excellency of those persons.
it' one considered, that all men were not made by men, and for
whose forming God himself choose and Imeided the substance,
were red. Adam, that was created by God's own hand, ought to
be the most accomplisht of men—he was red. And all perfect
philosophy ought to teach us. that nature which inclines to the
most perfection, alwaies endeavours, in forming a man, to make
• red one, jest as she aspires to make gold by making of mercury,
but she seldom hits upon it. An archer is not c.0.-met' un-
skilful!, who letting:luny arrows the. but five or six hits the mark.
As the best beneficed coastitution that which is between fleg-
matiok and inelancholly, one must needs be very happy to hit
exactly an invissible point. The flaxen and the black are
besides it ; that is to say, the fickle and the obstinate ; between
tote is the medim, where wisdom, in favour of red men,
bath lodged venue, so their flesh is much more delicate,
their blood more pure, their spirits more clarified, and
consequently their uudect more acsocei.lshed, because of
.be perfect raiature cfthesclatus qualities. Timid Is the reason

why red men become not so won envy as those that are black, u if
nature were angry and unwiling to destroy that, which she took
a pleasure '.n making. In troth. I seldom see a flaxen head of
hair, but I think of a distaff ill periwig'd. But 1 grant, that fair
women *hen they are young, are pleasing; but as soon as their
checks begin logrow woolly, would one it think that their flesh
divides itself into little threads to make them a !mud ? I speak
not of black beards, for tit well known, if the devil! weare any,
it cannot be but very dark. Since then we must all become slaves
to beauty, is it not far better to be deprived of our freedom by
golden chains, then by hempen cords, or iron fetters ?"

FROM TUESDAY :NIGHT'S GAZETTE.
...mm,