The Express.
London, England, 1868-01-14 00:00:00

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TWO NEWS ares BY MR. CHARLES
DICKENS.

Mr. Dickens has been induced to become during
his sojourn on the other side of the Atlantic a
contributor to the Atlantic Monthly and Our
Young Folks.
The change of scene and air, and perhaps too of
surrounding associations, appears to have had the
happiest effect upon Mr. Dickens, if we may. judge
from the opening chapters of the stories he Is con-
tributing to the two American magazines. In the
opening chapter of the " Holiday Romance,"
Which purports to be " from the pen of William
Tinkling, Esquire, aged 8," he has surpassed, we
think, even the immortal story of the Runaway
Couple, told by the Boots of the Holly Tree Inn,
in the marvellously subtle and pathetic tenderness
which underlies the conception of the romance of
childhood. The divine innocence of children, the
waywardness the wilfulness, the sweet inconse-
quence, the half consciousness of" pretending,"
which is almost a presentiment of the sadder experi-
ence of after years, the burlesque seriousness of
the little actors in the mock business of life which
they perform, with all the solemnity in the world,
as a drama—all combine to produce an exquisitely '
humourous and touching picture.
William Tinkling, Esquire (aged 8), is the
author of this " Holiday Romance," and this is
how he enters on the scene :
Tb is beginning part is not made out of anybody's head,
you know. It's real. You must believe this beginning
part more than what comes after, else you won't under-
stand how what comes after came to be written. You
must believe it all. but you mast believe this most, please.
lam the Editor of it. Bob Redforth (he's my cousin, and
shaking the table on purpose) wanted to be the Editor of
it, bat bald he shouldn't, because he couldn't. He has
no idea of being an Editor. Nettie Ashford is my bride.
We were married in the right-hand closet in the corner of
the dancing-school, where first we met, with • ring (a
green one) from Wilkingwater's toyshop. I owed for it
out of my pocket-money. When the rapturous ceremony
eras over, we all four went up the lane and let off a cannon
(brought loaded in Bob Redforth's waistcoat pooket) to
announce our nuptials. It thew right up when it went off,
and turned over. Neat day Lieutenant-Colonel Robin
Redforth was united with similar ceremonies to Allis
Rainbird. This time the cannon burst with a
most terrine explosion, and made a puppy bark.
My peerless bride was, at the period of
which we now treat, in captivity at Miss Grimmer's.
Drowvey and Grimmer is the partnership, and opinion is
divided which is the greatest Beast. The lovely bride of
the Colonel was oleo immured in the-dungeons of the same
establishment. A vow was entered into between the Colr
eel and myself that we would cut them out on the follow-
leg Wednesday when walking two and two. . . , •
Under the desperate circumstances of the case, the active
brain of the Colonel, combining with his lawless pursuit
(he is a Pirate), suggested an attack with fireworks. This,
however, from motives of humanity, was abandoned
as too expensive. .• • • .. . . Lightly
per
armed with a pa knife buttoned up under his
jacket, and waving the dreaded black flag at the end of •
cane, the Colonel took command of me at 2 p.m. on
the eventful and appointed day. He had drawn out the
plan of attack on a piece of paper which was
rolled up round a hoop-stick. He showed it to me.
My po'ition and my full-length portrait (but my real ears
don't stick out horizontal) was bellied a corner lamp-post,
with written orders to remain there till I should see Miss
Drowvey fall. The Drowvey who was to fall was the one
in spectacles, not the one with the large lavender bonnet.
At that signal I was to rush forth, seize my bride, and
fight my way to the lane. There, a irction would be
effected between myself and the Colonel, and putting our
brides behind us, between ourselves an the palings, we
were to conquer or die. . • . . The enemy appeared
—approached. Waving his black flag, the Colonel
attacked. Confusion ensued. Anxiously I awaited my
signal, but my sigual came not. So far from falling, the
hated Drowvey in spectacles appeared to me to have
mulled the Colonel's head in his outlawed banner, and to
be pitching into him with a parasol. The one in the
lavender bonnet also performed prodigies of valour with
her ti don hie hack. Seeing that all was for the moment
lost. I fought my desperate way hand to hand to the lane.
Throu;h taking the back road, I was so fortunate
as to meet nobody, and arrived there uninter-
rupted. . • • • . . . . It seemed an age ere
the Colonel joined me. He had been to the jobbing tailor's
to be sewn up in several places, and attributed oar defeat
to the refusal of the detested Drowvey to fall. Finding
her so obstinate, he had said to her in a loud voice, " Die,
recreant!" but had found her no more open to reason
on that point than the other. My blooming bride ap•
peared, accompanied by the Colonel's bride ID the dancing.
school next day. What ? Was her face averted from me?
Hah ! Even so. With a look of scorn she put into my
kends a bit of paper_, and took another partner. On the
pap. r was pencilled, " Heavens ! Can I write the word !
Is my husband a Cow ." . ._ • • . . . . In the
first bewilderment of my heated brain I tried to think
what slanderer could have traced my family to the
ignoble animal mentioned above. Vain were my endea-
vours. At the end of that dance I whispered the Colonel
to come into the cloak-room, and I showed him the note.
" There is a syllable wanting," said he, with • gloomy
brow.
"Mali! what syllable'" was my inquiry.
" She asks, Can she write the word? And no ; you Imo
she couldn't," said the Colonel, pointing out the passage.
" And the word wan r said I.
" Cow-cow-coward," hissed the Pirate• Colonel in my
ear, and gave nee back the note.
Feeling that I must for ever tread the earth a branded
boy—person, I mesa—or that I must clear up my honour.
I demanded to be tried by a court martial. The Colonel
admitted my right to be tried. Some difficulty was found
in composing the court, on amount of the Emperor of
France's aunt refusing to let him come out. He was to be
the president. Ere yet we had appointed a substitute, he
made his escape over the hack wall, and stood among us, a
free monarch.
So the court is held "on the grass by the
pond."
I recognised in a certain Admiral among my judges my
deadliest foe. A cocoa-nut had given rise to language
that I could not brook. But, confiding in my innocence,
and also in the knowledge that the President of the
United States (who sat next him) owed me • knife, I
braced myself for the ordeal It was a solemn spectacle,
that court. Two executioners with pinafores reversed led
me in. Under the shads of an umbrella I perceived my
Bride, supported by the Bride of the Pirate-Colonel. The
President (having reproved a little female ensign for
tittering in a matter or life and death) called upon me to
plead, " Coward or no coward—guilty or not guilty." I
pleaded, in a fine tone, "No coward, and not guilty."
(The little female ensign being amain reproved by the
President for misconduct mentioned, left the court, and
threw stones.) My implacable enemy, the Admired,
conducted the case against me. The Colonel's Bride was
called to prove that I had remained behind the corner
lamppost during the engagement. I might have been
spared the anguish of my own Bride's being also made a
=teems on the same point, but the Admiral knew where to
wound me. Be still, my soul, no matter. The Colonel
was then brought forward with his evidence. It was for
this point that I had laved myself up as the turning point
of my case. Shaking myself free of my guarda—wbo had
no business to hold me. the Auricle, unless I was found
guilty—l asked the Colonel what he considered the first
• soldier? Ere he could reply, the President of
the United States rose and informed the court that my
foe, the Adraiial, had suggested " bravery," and that
prompting • witness wasn't fair. The President
of the court immediately ordered the Admiral's
mouth to be filled with leaves, and tied up with string. I
had the =tie/diction of seeing the sentatioe carried into
effect before the proceedings went further. I then took
a paper from my trousers-pocket, and asked i—" What
do you =wider Colonel Redforth, the first duty of •
soldier—is it obedience?"
" It is," said the Colonel.
" L that paper—please to look at it—in your hand!"
"It is," as the Colonel.
" Is it a military sketch!"
" It is," said the Colonel.
" Of an engagement?"
" Quite so, laid the Colonel.
" Of the late engagement ?"
" Of the late engagement."
" Please to describe it, and then hand it to the Presi-
dent of the court."
From that triumphant moment my dangers and cap
sufferings were at an end. My foe, the Admiral, whs,
though muzzled, was malignant yet, contrived to
that I was dishonoured by having quitted the=
But the Colonel himself had done as much,
and gave his opinion, upon his word and honour
as a pirate, that when all was lost the esid
might be quitted without disgrace. I was going to be found
"No coward and not guilty, and my blooming Bride
wan going to be publicly restored to my arms in a proem•
slob, when an unlooked-for event disturbed the general
rejoicing. This was no other than the Emmert. of Frame's
aunt catching hold of his hair. The preceedinP abruptly
terminated, and the court tumultuously dissolved. . .
. . Next evening Four Forms might have been descried
slowly advancing towards the weeping willow on the
borders of the pond, the now deserted some of the day
before yesterday's agonies and triumphs. On a nearer
approach, and by a practised eye, these might have been
identifies{ as the forms of the Pirrte•Colonel, with his
Bride, and of the day before yesterday's gallant prisoner,
with his Bride.
On the beauteous faces of the nymphs dejection sat
=thread. All four reclined under the willow for some
minutes without speaking, till at length the Bride of the
Colossi podia* ()barred, "It's of no use pretending
say more; sad we had better give it up.,*
Bah !" exclaimed the Pirate. " Peeled* l"
" Don't go on like that ; you worry me," returned his
Bride.
The lovely Bride of Tinkling echoed the iccredible
declaration. The two warriorsgmhaadkosisto7 glances.
" If," add the Bride of the " srownep