The Express.
London, England, 1868-12-14 00:00:00

THE NIWITMARE OF PETITIONS.

Tun Ina orals quart (neon. of RABELAIS ; the
" to-morrow morning " of the toper ; the
Nemesis of the old mythology ; the doctrine of re-
wards and punishments—are all brought to mind
by the experience now being enjoyed by a not in-
considerable number of M.P's. There has been
brave fun at the elections. Success for yourself,
failure for your opponent. The blissful words,
" head of the poll." have been placarded after
your name on the hoardings of your borough or
county, and you have already tasted some of the
responsibilities as well as the sweets of power in
the accession to your daily correspondence, and in
the requests preferred to you from men, women.
and children whose very names you do not know.
Tour first signature to your first order of admis-
sion to the btrangers' Gallery of the House of
Commons—applied for by a constituent's fourth
cousin—has a magical digLity in your eyes which
it never possessed before, while your presence at
dinners and balls and public meetings is intrigued
for and sought after with a vivacious eagerness
highly calculated to augment your good opinion
of yourself. Basking in the successful man's
paradise your merits and virtues have conjured
up, andhalf regretting—things have ended so satis-
factorily and the new life and associations suit
you so well—you did not come into Parliament
earlier in life, you are suddenly startled and
shocked. A serpent has entered your Eden. Its
form a lawyer's letter ; your downfall the object
of its wily plot. Your return is to be
petitioned against on the ground of treating,
or bribing, or intimidation, or perhaps all three—
and, presto, your happiness has flown. Being
attacked, you must attack in return. Counter-alle-
gations, to gevjura of a transparently personal kind,
are uttered. What is treating, you ask ' You are
of a pleasantly convivial turn, and enjoy a crack
with your fellows—aye, and upon occasion, with
your inferiors when they have a proper veneration
for the native nobility of your character and find
intellectual solace in listening to platitudes they
dare not contradict. It has been your habit—
not merely in this election, but ever since your
material success gave you confidence in yourself
by showing you with hew little wisdom the world
is governed—to be hospitable and free-banded.
Ton like to see merry pleasant faces about you
and to feel that both the mirth and the pleasure
are due to your having graciously touched the
springs making each to flow. Is a seat in Parlia-
ment to be lost because you have indulged
yourself as usual in being the hospitable monarch
of the hour, the dictator of the dessert, the con-
versational autocrat of a handsomely spread and
generously ministered board' Is an obedience to
the scriptural injunction " to be given to hospita-
" pity " to be suddenly turned against you ; are
you to be " hoist from your own petard," and be-
cause you have a good cellar as well as a pretty
knack of talking to be convicted of " treat-
" ing" for the reason that you are po-
pular ? One thing is certain, that the
rival you have worsted shall not profit by
the shabby maneeuvre brought to bear against
you now. A fair fight has, you insist, been won
fairly; and as the beaten ones have the incon-
ceivable meanness to strike below the belt, you
will take care that no superstitious reverence
for the rules of the ring shall prevent
your bringing them to grief in their turn.
Such, we may fancy, are the reflections of each
of the gentlemen whose names appear under
the head of " Election Petitions" in this
morning's papers. Those county members
as are not yet petitioned against, but con-
cerning whom disastrous rumours and omi-
nous forebodings are afloat, must pray fervently
for the expiration of the twenty-one days, after
which no petition can be presented. This
morning's list has whetted their appetite
for security. It is well enough to have
counter-petitions ready prepared, so that, even
at the eleventh hour of the last day, the em-
barrassing paper is duly signed and deposited,
you can fire off your shot in return. But you
have bad enough of conflict, and you now want
to enjoy. To suddenly cull upon a newly-elected
member to unfold the tactics and practices which
have landed him in Parliament, is at the very best
to ensure hint some troubled days and anxious
nights. An election petition is a not pleasant
foretaste of a time when all secrets will be dis-
closed.