The Express.
London, England, 1862-11-17 00:00:00

Every shortcoming is a source of satisfaction and

amusement

The absence of the commonest

condiments produces a thrill of delight ; the com-
monest questions become pleasant probes which
spy out the nakedness of the land ; the paper, a
month old, is read with a strange unearthly inte-

rest ; and when the bill, always extravagant, is
paid, the payer almost wishes it could be more
extravagant.

The same satisfaction is felt in sitting down
with one of the worst books ever written, or in

gazing at one of the worst picture. ever painted.
A feeling of pity steals over the reader or the
spectator for those unhappy fellow-creatures who
have no opportunity of enjoying so much excellent

badness. The treasures of the richest libraries, of
the noblest galleries, sink into insignificance by
the side of these two thoroughly bad productions.
The book is bought up, and becomes rarer than a
certain notorious essay by JOHN WILKES, or a folio
edition of SHAHESPLKZ. The picture is carried
off by some rich and happy capitalist to be gloated
over in secret, or to become a joy for ever to a
particular family.
The worst servants, the worst landlords, the
worst architects, the worst vestry, the worst
member of parliament, and a hundred other bad
things, may all be invaluable agents in promoting
the pleasures of life. It all depends upon the
temper in which they are looked at. If those
who are largely dependent upon such agents can
school themselves into caring very little for their
services, and can watch them philosophically, as
the movements of insects are watched in a micro-
scope, then their bad qualities, bcought out in
work and action, become more amusing than a play,
and irritation is changed into quiet applause. Any
attempt to improve such agents, after they are
regarded in this mood, is almost resented as an
impertinence. The reformers are sometimes

looked upon u dangerous innovators, anxious to
meddle with matters which they cannot under-
stand, and shake the foundations of society. Things
once abused as nuisances soon mellow into institu-
tions in a conservative country, and any attempt
to supplant them only meets with coldness and
suspicion.

There is one supremely bad thing—worse even
than bad lodgings, or bad boots—whose existence
is threatened at the present moment : we allude
to the London cab. After a stormy reign of nearly
a quarter of a century, this dear old stuffy institu-
tion is threatened with extinction. There can be
no question about its badness—a badness that we
are inclined to father upon our legislation—there
can be no question about the fleas which it has
nourished, about the discomfort which it has caused
to riders, about the disgraceful figure which it has
cut in the eyes of foreign and provincial visitors.
Its warmest friends will hardly contend that in its
four-wheeled shape it has given the public a seat

upon which any man, woman, or child could sit at
ease, or a window which would keep out wind and
rain, and ventilate the creaking, jolting box at the
same time. No one can say that in its " Hansom"
shape it has furnished a vehicle which could be
entered without danger, or sweeping the mud off the
wheels, or whose bending, clattering window could
be ordered down in rough weather without the
fear of a broken nose. No one can say that
it was ever built to carry the two persons of
average size named in its license, or that it has
not been as destructive to hats as theatres or
churches. These are defects which are candidly
admitted on all sides without tiny desire to
grumble, and yet the institution or nuisance (call
it by what name we will) is not taunted about its
threatened destruction. Two Joint-Stock Compa-
nies are in the field, rich in all the machinety of
combined enterprise and the promises of amiable
prospectuses, who sound the death-knell of the
London cab when they announce a supply of
superior hack conveyances. These Companies are
started for the professed purpose of giving us
better horses and vehicles for the same money,
and yet we scarcely welcome them. We are not
averse to improvement in cabs, we have no objec-
tion to use a brougham at sixpence a mile instead
of an egg-chest upon wheels ; but the promoters of
these Companies will pardon us if we are suspicious
for a reason. We cannot forget the promises which
ushered in the General Omnibus Company about
' seven years ago, and the very scanty performance
which has followed upon those promises. The
French system of " correspondence" has not
been imported, the improved vehicles have been
very few and far between, several wholesome
attempts at competition have been " nursed " off
the road, and the few advanced Exhibition omni-
buses introduced from Manchester have been
bought up with rather suspicious avidity. The
Cab Companies may keep better faith with the
public than the great Omnibus Company has
done, and, in spite of the existing absurd legal
restrictions on cabs, may be able to make good
service run on all fours with good dividends. The
proof of the pudding, however, to use a homely
phrase, will be iu the eating. The buying up of
the present ricketty stock, and the gloss of a few
coats of paint and varnish, will hardly be consi-
dered a reform by the cab-hiring public. The
new Cab Companies must do more than this, which
is nearly all that the Omnibus Company did, if
they wish to obtain an enlarged support for their
venture. The faults of our four-wheeled and
Hansom cabs lie deeper than the travel-stains on
their battered sides ; they are radical errors of
construction. The Cab Companies must give us
more room and better springs for our money, to
say nothing about less exhausted horses. They
must place London, which is jocularly called the
first city in the world, upon a level with
our provincial towns in public vehicles. Man-
chester, Liverpool, and even distant Aberdeen,
have better cabs than the Metropolis, and it re-
mains to be seen whether the new Cab Companies
will relieve us from this subordinate position.
Where we ought to lead we can only follow, but,
by all means, let us follow as quickly as possible.
Our population is large enough, our distances are
long enough, and our tastes are luxurious enough
to pay any one who will accede to our wishes. We
shall part with the old London cab, if the sepa-
ration is ordained, with tender regret, and as
admiration fostered by its exceeding badness ; but
we shall welcome its successor with hope and en-
thusiasm. One thing alone will check this en-
thtudasm—the probable mediocrity of the new
vehicles. We are sick of half-measures in carriage
reform. If the new cabs are not to be new, if
they are not to be either supremely bad or
supremely good, they had better be strangled is
their birth.

OFFICIAL Arrourruirrre.—The Duke of Argyle
bas base appointed Lamb Lieutenant of Arty!rehire in the
roam of the Marquis of Breadsthane. We believe that Mr.
Ifeary Austin Bruce, M.P. for Merthyr Tydvil, =C-
ooed Mr. Gearw Clive as andernearetary of state. Mr.
Bram wee e.il.d to the bar in 1837. The lbw. A. P.
Ckameger has bees appointed ineasibent of the new dis-
trict of St. Thema% Apr-tows. The Quells ben bees
pleased to append Weary Astbary Lemma, Eaq., to be
colonial eseretary for be. Majesty's seidemmt Imps •
and Charles Plare, Esq., to be superintendent of convistri
for the colony of the Cape of (rood Ilope.—Observer.