The Express.
London, England, 1853-12-28 00:00:00

THE MISSION 01' THE FLEETS.

The Charivari has the following amusing article
on the report of the combined fleets having entered
the Black Sea, with instructiovs to protect the
Turks, but to abstain from giving any offence to the
Russians. It is given in the form of a conversation
between two bourgeois of Paris at a cafe over a game
of dominoes :

" It is your turn, my dear Monsieur Prndhosene : have
you seen the newspapers this morning ?" "Itis my daily
custom—l put down the ace four, my dear Monsieur Cag-
nerd." " The situation is grave." " I cannot deny that
—and yet it does mot seem to me to be desperate. I have
confidence in the efforts of diplomacy." " Don't talk to
me of diplomacy!" "Do you :deny the science of the
Talleyeends and the Capefigues F" " Heaven forbid ! but
it is arms which will decide!' " Who says so ?" All
the newspapers. The fleets have entered the Black Sea."
" Happily !" " Yon call that happily ; have you by chance
become a demagogue!" " The conduct of all my life places

e out of the re—i;ll of such a suspicion. Six at both ends."

Play on—however you see war with pleasure." " What
makes you think so ?" " The indifference with which you
receive the news I give you." " The news gives me plca-
•ure, I contras—two-four." " I perceive it clearly

block the four." '• I am sure that you would
be as much charmed as I am, if you had read
the whole despatch. Hew is it drawn up :
' We are assured that the combined fleets have entered the
Black Sea, not to attack the Russians, but to defend the
Turks.' Is that what you have read ?" " Perfectly."
" Now, follow carefully my reasoning—double five." " I
don't play." "The English fleet and the French fleet
enter the Black Sea—that is admitted. They meet the
Russian fleet at sea. Immediately the English admiral
makes signals to which the Russian admiral hastens to
reply. The two admirals go on their quarter-decks, and
take their speaking trumpets. They ask each other news
ci their health, and if they have Lad • pleasant voyage.
The Russian admiral invitee the English admiral to break-
fast—he accepts. The boats are put oat. The breakfast
tiuished, the admirals embrace, and separate after having
mutually wished each ether a pleasant voyage. During
this time a division of the Russian fleet meets a division of
the Turkish fleet. It would, perhaps, desire to attack it,
but • French squadron escorts the Turkish fleet, and
the Russians seeing that they are not the strongest
avoid the combat, and take another direction. In not
attacking the Russians, war is not declared. In protecting
tie Turks, peace is maintained. Thus are verified the
terms of the telegraphic despatch. You see then that you
are wrong in being alarmed." "You are right." "And
that I was .perfectly right in expressing pleasure at the
entrance of the fleets into the Black Sea." "Perfectly."
"Go to the Bourse—and you will see that all people ol
common sense think absolutely as I do. The entrance ol
the fleets will prove the good understanding which has not
ceased to reign between Russia and the great Western
powers—since the English and French vessels will not
endeavour to burn the Russian vessels. It will equally
testify to the profound sympathy which France and Eng-
land feel for Turkey, since the allied fleets will prevent the
vessels of the Sultan from being destroyed. In this way
war becomes completely impossible. I'hree and five." " I
can't play." " Then domino." " Now that lam tranquil!
let us play another game." " Willingly."