The Express.
London, England, 1853-11-29 00:00:00

Pt .VOlrs POCKET-ROOK FOR 1854.

The frontispiece to this year's edition of the an-
nual pocket-book of fun is entitled" Topsy-turvy,
or our Antipodes." It is a fancy sketch of the revo-
lution that gold has produced in the colonies. Gen-
tlemen with faces covered with a profusion of un-
trimmed hair in costumes picturesque enough, but
not at all elegant, with pistols in their boots and
bowie-knives at their belts, are making themselves
comfortable in various ways while their wants are
attended to by broken-down clergymen, masters of
arts, and ladies dressed in ragged costume with no
shoes to their feet. The illustration is, as usual,
admirably cone, but the scene is too likely to be true
to be very comical. The literary portion of the
pocket-book contains the usual quantity of material
for laughter. The present number will not shrink
from comparison with any of its predecessors. From
a number of model speeches for the use of persons
not accustomed to public speaking we select the
following :

ON RECEIVING A PIECE OF PLATE.
Gentlemen,—ln having filled the office of—[here put in
the office, whether that of Chancellor of the Ercheywr,
Churchwarden, or treasurer to a Cricket etah,] —I assure
you I have had but one object—your interest. That object,
I fearlessly assert, has sever ceased to accompany me. It
has gone to bed with me; it has slept with me ; it has got
up with me ; it has shaved with me. Your interest, gen-
tlemen, has been the polar star to my eye, the staff to my
hand, and the roses to my feet. Do I say this to make any
claim upon your gratitude? No, gentlemen; in giving
utterance to these solemn and profound emotions—for
they are solemn since they are not often evoked
but upon serious occasions like tile present—they are pro-
found, fur they come from the very bottomest bottom of my
heart—(gentlemen, it is sometimes the allowed privilege of
deep feeling to violate grammar, a privilege that my im-
pulsive soul must lay claim to at this moment)—in giving
utterance to this, and much more than this, much more
easily conceived than sunken, I merely state that in fulfilling
your service I have fulfilled my own personal pleasure! I
have sought no other reward—l expected none—l wished
for none. Nevertheless, gentlemen, when I look upon the
splendid candelabra before me—a candelabra of fourteen
branches,—l beg to assure you that I ohs I again and again
in the deep midnight contemplate the fourteen wax candles
that will be toatinually burning therein,—only as so many
lights to higher exertion—as so many vivifying suns kindling
and strengthening me in your service.]
[lf the piece of plate aloud be a snuff-box, say—And,
gentlemen, whenever I open this hoz, whenever my finger
and thumb shall take from within a restorative pinch, and
taken, when my finger and thumb shall fillip off the parti-
cles that may adhere, I shall moralise upon those particles,
end think all rewards but dos-, but that best reward, your
friendship—your support.]
[II the token presented be a watch, say—And never,
gentlemen, shall I hear it tick, but my heart will pulsate in
unison with its sound ; never will it strike the time, but my
fancy will, with backward flight, return to the present
n'oment, the happiest, the proudest moment of my life.
[Meeld the speaker he apnarried man, and should a
silver teapot 6e also presented to his wife, he may say—lt
is said, ladies and gentlemen, that a man must not praise
himself. Yet how is it possible to avoid such eulogy when
tolled upon to speak of his wife—who is of himself—the
dearest and most precious part of his existence ? Gentle-
men, I thank you for Mrs. --. You have in-
scribed some of her virtues on that silver tea-pot:
I fearlessly say some of them, gentlemen, for I
do assure you—though do not misinterpret such
assurance—it would take an exceedingly large silver tea-
board to boot, to bear even in the shortest short-hand a
notice of the qualities that, like the flowers upon the satin
gown in which she appears before you oa this happy rea-
rm, cover and adore her. Ladies and gentlemen, whilst
thanking you for this tea-pot, permit me to say that you
could not have chosen a mere appropriate present for oar
domestic hearth. What the tripod was to the ancient
prissier, the tea-pot (with a considerable improvement) is
to the English housewife. If it does not inspire her with
prophecy, it does much better; it fills her with gentleness
and goof{ humour, and makes her cheerful in bestowing
cups of cheerfulness upon ethers. Gentlemen, it is said by
Arabian writers, that Solomon's genii were confined in
kettles—then allow me to say, they must have been tea-
kettles ; for from them—ministered by woman—man drinks
quietude, refreshing calmness, and domestic wisdom.]

NEW RAILWAYS IN OXFORDSIIIRE.-OXIOI/D,
Not•. 26.—The necessary parliamentary notices km bees
given for the constructing of the following lines in this
neighbourhood:—The Wycombe Railway Company pro-
poses to extend their branch to Oxford, uniting with the
Great Western Railway at Kennington, shortening the dim
lance about 12 milos over the present route, with a branch
to Aylesbury ; the Oxford, Worcester, and Wolverhampton
Company in conjunction with the London and North-
Western Company, propose to form a railway from Oxford
to Harrow-on-the• Hill, on the main line of the latter com-
pany, with branches into St. Clement's, Oxford ; a com-
pany has also given notice for a line from the Banbury
station of the Loudon and North-Western Company to the

Chipping-Campden station of the Oxford, Worcester, and
Wolverhampton Railway ; a branch line from Chipping
Norton to a point on the Oxford, Worcester, and Wolver-
hampton Railway at Churchill; a branch from the Great
Western Railway to Stratford-on-Avon; powers to the
Great Western Railway to use the broad gnage, as laid
down on the Oxford, Worcester, and Wolverhampton Rail-
way, upon payment of certain rates and tolls. We may
also mention that there is every probability that the Great
West. rn Railway cr a new company, will seek fin pow era
to make a direct line from Oxford to Cheltenham, on the
broad gauge.

ELECTRIC TELEGRAPH COMPANY OF IRELAND.-
We are Wormed that this company has succeeded in laying
down from Byllyeopdand Bay upwards of three miles of
submarine iron wire, which is securely buoyed ; and the
Albert, with H.M. steamer Asp, under the command of
Lieutenant Allridde, R.N. both now lying at Donagbadee
Pier, inti nil to connect this line with the twenty.eight
miles of iron wire on hoard the Albert, and run across to
Port-o'Spital the first favourable opportunity. It is
gratifying to learn that no gnat was the perfection of the
coiling that the entire distaLee was actually paid out from
the hold of the Albert without even the assistance of a single
Chronick. . .

ARTIFICIAL l'iioutertoN t Fisu —At the " huh
manufactory," as it ‘4 called at Huninguln—the establish-
ment for producing fish on the artificial system—there are
now 200,000 eggs of the Rhine salmon, and of the large
trout of the Salsa lakes, duly fecundated ; and there are
100,000 of the same description of (gga, also fecundated, at
the Collego de France in Paris. hear eggs are destined
fur distribution amongst the departint nts in which money
has been euted for the application of the artificial system.—
On 'against.
SOUTH EASTERN RAlLWAY.—Traffic receipts for
the week ending N0v.26, 1853, £13,14710x. 3d. ' • ditto Nov.
27, 1852, £11,638 175.2 d. Increase in 1853, £1,508135. Id.