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Me [27] and my gf [23] have been dating for almost 3 years now. She still lives at home. Anyways, for reasons I won't get into we're going on this trip - we leave in the morning, flying across the country to spend a week with some friends of hers. Now, I realize and accept that trips like these tend to make me stressed out, and I will get in arguments I don't usually intend to get into. It just happens. I told her this and said I'd try to take a deep breath and chill, but so far I haven't needed to. I gave her "fair warning" and told her if I say something, its not her fault, don't take it personally. It's just the stress of traveling. She lives closer to the airport than I do, so I was offered the chance to sleep over her house the night before - it's an early flight. Unfortunately I wasn't really packed yet (my fault) when she was ready to pick me up, and also when I sleep over her house I usually don't get a good nights sleep. It's nothing against her, I just prefer my own bed. I told her since I needed to be awake and alert for the following day, it was probably best if I just slept in my own bed and got up early. At this point she freaked out. I got called a jerk. Her parents freaked out, and her mom called me and asked whats wrong. I explained, but it was pretty clear she was still pissed at me. Yeah, it's true her parents had been "expecting me" - I should note that this didn't include dinner or anything, just a bed - and I turned them down.. but I don't think this warranted the reaction it did. I expected "okay, wish you stayed over but I understand", you know? She also started accusing me of starting the fight due to the aforementioned stress, which.. I don't think is even remotely true. This all just seems like a huge over reaction to me, but maybe I'm missing some major Faux pas I did that I'm not aware of? What's ironic is the stress from the argument caused me to stay up all night. Karma.

Was supposed to sleep over gf's house and get up early to go to the airport. I decided to sleep at home instead and wake up early on my own. Everyone started acting like I'm literally hitler. WTF?

Here I wrote out a brief version of the story in another part of the thread as an answer to a similar response elsewhere so I'm copy pasta'ing it for you: The short answer is embezzlement and misappropriating the money coming in. We've looked over the books for the past 6 months and the place is making a profit if the previous owner didn't have to pay back 3 different investors and the IRS. My family being the primary investors, something to the tune of 300 grand, we are taking the restaurant as compensation. The previous owner goes in 3 to 4 nights a week, drinks 1 to 2 bottles of wine (he has a serious alcohol problem) and then attempts to do the back end managing which has led to forgetting to pay things like the gas bill and the employees, etc. It didn't help that he was cartoonishly evil and dickish about the entire thing. I will be there every day to make sure the restaurant operates the way it's supposed to. I'll be paying our bills, our taxes and of course our employees. I plan on turning the work environment from hostile and tense to friendly and open. I've looked at our expenditures and already I can cut the over head down significantly. For example we'll be able to nearly halve food costs without sacrificing quality. I also am going to initiate a profit sharing incentive for our employees. We want them all to feel like they're a part of the bigger picture. Marketing...seriously the guy did zero marketing before and the place was still consistently busy. Even just a little bit for a small amount of money could pack this place. There are some more things but off the top of my head those are some of the bigger policy changes we're going to be implementing. Also, once I'm actually able to get in there running the day to day I'm sure more things will come to mind.

Previous owner was comically bad at what he did. I'll competently reform a few things and make sure the things that DID work are allowed to work.

I've always been mature for my age — this is not a brag, as sometimes it's been more of a curse. Regardless, I feel I am mature enough to be living with my boyfriend who I've so far been with for 1.5 years and will continue to remain committed to. We both want to have a 1br apartment we can live in together, plus we've already had tons of experience technically living together at my current apartment that I share with two roommates. We get along extremely well (while having the occasional argumentative moment like any healthy couple), and while I am away at college/work during the day, he (graduated) writes articles for websites from home and does many of the household chores — a set-up that we both like and agree works for us. For us to finally live together alone and further strengthen our relationship will bring me nothing but happiness; although, I still understand it will take work from both of us. The only problem comes from my parents who feel I am far too young to be living with a boyfriend (I've had to not mention the fact we practically live together already, which is easy because they live four hours away from us). They don't take into account my maturity, nor do I think they even know what age/relationship-length they do consider to be appropriate for moving in together. With them, it's more that they have conservative values mixed with a worry for keeping up appearances for other people (especially to the rest of our family).

Should I stand up to my parents and move in with my boyfriend? Do you have any suggestions for the best way to make this stand against them? Edited last question for clarity.

This one in Tempe, Arizona at a Village Inn (or maybe it was a Denny's?). Probably the earlier part of late 2006 or 2007. Seemed like it was the one around Guadalupe and Hardy. I'd just picked my roommate up from his night shift at the call center. We were both hungry and Denny's beat out our usual fast food options for some reason that night. It was dead inside, hardly anyone there. One server, one cook, one other customer. A cute blonde with hair that was slightly curled, just past shoulder length. She stood out in the bright red sweatshirt she was wearing, particularly because my hoodie was the same color. She was cute girl, seemed about college age like us. Sitting there alone, she had the saddest air about her. Figured maybe something bad had just happened, or something unlucky. Well my roommate and I get to talking over dinner as usual. We're trying not to be rude and talk about the girl we both took notice of, since she's right behind us. It's not long before the server returns with drinks and brings us our order. Doesn't check on the girl though. Didn't think too much about it after I got caught laughing in a joke about DoTA. Being dead and all it's not long before my Denver omelet and his spicy buffalo sandwich show up with the check. Right around then I looked past my roommates shoulder and realized over his shoulder and notice that she's only got a glass of water and a small salad. She had a slender build but not in a way that came off as anorexic. By the time I look back at my roommate he's pretty much figured out the same thing. "And whatever she's having." I say quietly, tossing an extra bit of cash into black card holder. The waitress nods heads off to the register. She comes back with the change for the rest of the meal and then goes over to the girl's table and tells her. Over the years my roommate and I have done a lot of generous things for people. Many a lot more significant than that. But there was something about the glow she had. There was genuine sincerity and gratitude in those bright eyes that lifted me up. Truth be told I'd been pretty heavily depressed at the time after going through a couple of bad breakups. That nameless girl in the Denny's felt like a turning point. It's something that's stuck with me over the years. So, whoever you are random nameless girl, thanks.

my roommate and saw a girl eating alone by herself at Village Inn that seemed really sad. So we bought her dinner. Unexpectedly her radiance and gratitude ended up helping me than we helped her.

Reminds me of the time I woke up at a friends house to several missed calls from my mom. She had called about fifteen times in the middle of night around 2 a.m. which was scary because I thought something bad had happened and she wanted to get in touch with me. When I called her in the morning she sounded so relieved when I said I was okay. She told me she had a dream that I had wrecked my car last night. Of course, I didn't, my red Chevy Cavalier was sitting in my friends driveway safe and sound. But on the way back home I rode past my bestfriend's house who lives on my road. I looked over at his driveway and there was his sister's car, a red Chevy Cavalier, front end and windshield all crushed up. So now I'm a little freaked out and stop to see if she's okay. Turns out she had wrecked her car into a tree last night around 1:30 a.m. on the other side of the county - nowhere near me or my mom. So, pre-cog or just a weird coincidence? I thought coincidence for awhile, but about five years ago me and my best friend's sister decided to drunkenly have sex one night after years of flirting and sexual tension. We've been together ever since then, and my mom has been saying since we were kids that we'd end up together, we just never believed her.

my mom's either able to see the future, or she manipulated me into dating a girl she thought would be good for me, over ten years before we started.

Alright, guess a bit of back story first. My parents had been married for almost 17 years when they split. I was about 11 when they split up, it wasn't a particularly messy split up but me and my brothers ended up seeing our dad as the 'good guy'. At the time it seemed they split up simply because my mum was fed up sort thing. Since then me and my brothers have been shared between the two parents. Skip ahead a few months and my mum is suddenly spending a lot of time with a new friend, lets call her Nitash, When I mean a lot of time I mean she was there everyday, I end up inadvertently talking to dad about this and we start getting our suspicions. Our suspicions are confirmed when Nitash sleeps over for a night. From there a proto-relationship morphed into a full blown lesbian relationship between my mum and Nitash. Now, I am not homophobic and after the first few months got over this sudden change, It wouldn't have been so bad if Nitash wasn't such a bad character. Just so you can see her from my perspective she is one of those people who looks like a bulldog and has a dark sense of humor, is fat and has a bad, shouty temper. This quickly makes me and my brothers very fed up of her as she starts imposing rules on us and becomes the 'dominant' parent. I realized my mum had in fact left dad to be with Nitash, and also realized that Nitash had been seeing mum before my parents broke up and may have played a huge roll in convincing mum to keep going ahead with the split up. Meanwhile on my dads side he got into a relation ship with who is now my step-mum and this was great as she is a caring person with a nice attitude who I get along with. They got married a few years back and have been happy together since. Meanwhile on my mums side they both get engaged but, alas, nothing has come of this. Meanwhile I can see how much of a dodgy character she is, her life story seems to continuously change and morph and she always keeps getting fired from her jobs plus is an avid smoker. Back story done, now why I left. Half a year ago from now I decided to live full time with my dad. Now unlike my mum and dad splitting up, this was messy. I simply stayed around my dads and refused to go back to hers and we have been at ends since. My life has improved ten fold since I left but I do feel guilty for leaving my mum because of her asswipe of a girlfriend. My question to you guys is, should I try and make up with them? Currently I haven't even tried as I don't want to deal with all the awkward questions Whats you view?

My mum got in a lesbian relationship with a horrible gf, I got fed up and left to live full time with my dad and now feel guilty, Whats your view?.

Mine was kinda different and I still don't know exactly what to think of the results to this day but I guess I would consider it a ...success? I was taking a programming class and the professor had wrote his own tests in php so I downloaded it and took it home because I wanted to just kinda see how he was making his own calls for the paper being graded upon submission. Turned out the page itself graded the tests then just uploaded the result, not a server that had the answers uploaded to then checked. I then also started seeing the patterns in the code of how he was trying to hide the answers, after a question there was always a string that looked seemingly random but there was always one character in that string that matched the corresponding answer to the test. So I wrote a small piece of javascript that could retrieve the variables and load them as an array then pick out that one character and display a line of letters in cmd prompt, first letter answer one, second two etc etc. I guess I was the assy guy because I took my findings to the professor showed him what i had done and notified him of his security weakness. He actually gave me permission to use my program on tests with his reasoning being, "Problem solving and adaptability was what he was trying to teach the class in addition to writing code." I passed that class... I passed that class hard. and he ended up being my favorite teacher whom I would go out of my way to take classes from. network security, sql databases, computer hardware, computer forensics, didnt matter. (yes the next semester he updated his code but I didnt do it again as the classes didnt have to do with programming so it wouldnt have benefited me). But he was one of the best teachers I've ever had, all of my other teachers would just do blind memorize regurgitate, and while there were some things he wanted us to memorize, depending on the nature of some items he wouldnt require memorization with his words being...."I'm not here to fill your heads, I'm here to help you develop the skills necessary to be an effective technician. No one can ever remember all of this so it is unneccessary to expect you to do the same. Instead what I am going to teach you is how to efficiently find the solutions to your problems with technical habit and deductive reasoning." God i miss that professor. Was it effective? well I'm currently writing control software for water systems, and one of my friends who had most of his classes is currently in with a company doing application security testing and network penetration testing.

reverse engineered professors online test, wrote code to do it quicker in subsequent cases. found out teacher actually knew the meaning of real world preparation.

I recently went through a drawn out process in school to acquire a Band-Aid. I am a senior in high school. I had cut my knuckle and went to my teacher to ask for a Band-Aid and she gave me a signed pass to go to the nurse to get one. Okay, I thought, that's fine, I'll get out of class for a little anyway. I went down to the nurse's office and had to sign in with my school id number, my id, and my pass as identification. I was then told to go wash out the cut and wait for the nurse. The nurse, after about 5 minutes of waiting, hands me a sheet to sign telling me that I visited the nurse. After that, she examines my hand and puts on the Band-Aid herself. I'm 18 years old, I think I could do it myself... Regardless, after all this they finally let me go back to class.

I had to do what seemed like pages of paperwork and get a signed pass from my teacher in order to get a Band-Aid from the nurse at my high school. What policies/rules have been making your school a ridiculous waste of time?

Recently, I was visiting a good friend of mine in Germany and after driving with her for awhile I noticed that whenever we came to a stop at a red light she would put the car in neutral and apply the hand brake. It struck me as odd right away, so I asked my friend if that was something she had always been doing. She said that's the way she had learned and then asked what I would do instead. I told her myself and everyone else I knew would either just keep our foot on the brake while the car was in neutral, or just leave it in gear and keep the clutch pressed in if it's a short light. I've never seen someone actually use the parking brake at a light. Her response sparked off the most pointless debate ever, but both of us held our ground. She replied with, "Really? That's so lazy! Typical of American culture I suppose." Now before you get all up in arms, the response was half in jest, but she really was serious that holding the brake down was lazier than putting the car in neutral with the parking brake on. I argued that it takes much more effort to keep the brake depressed (or clutch and brake depressed) during the entire red light than sitting with the car in neutral with the parking brake on... and I still can't see how using the parking brake is less lazy in any way. I know this is the most ridiculous argument ever, but I want to put it to rest for good. So, what say ye, reddit? Which is more lazy?

Got into a stupid argument with a friend over whether it is lazier at a red light to put the car in neutral with the parking brake on, or keep your foot on the brake.

I don't have any crazy stories, so instead, I'll tell you what happened to my friend Matt. Matt is both a sleepwalker and a borderline alcoholic. He finds that when he drinks his sleepwalking gets more intense, and always tell this story to prove his point: One night, Matt went out for a few drinks, and at around midnight he decided to head back home to his parents' place. He was met at the door by his father (basically Red from That 70s Show), nagging Matt to cut down on his drinking. To avoid an argument, Matt goes to bed, so do his parents. Around an hour later, Matt's dad wakes up to see his son waltzing into their bedroom. He strolls over to the corner of the room, drops his pants, and takes a piss on the wall. At this point his dad hasn't realized he was sleepwalking, and shouts, "Matt, what the fuck're you doing?" Matt responds, "taking a piss, what does it look like?" He then pulls up his pants, turns around, grabs his father's bowling trophy off the dresser, fills his bathtub about halfway with water, and proceeds to sleep in the tub, still dressed, clutching his dad's bowling trophy.

Buddy pissed on his parents' bedroom wall while sleepwalking, took his father's bowling trophy and slept, clutching the trophy, fully clothed, in a bathtub filled with water.

Eventually I will make a decision tree for these kinds of things. For the time being, try getting to know your SO and then base your little gift off the activities he/she likes. Does your SO like guns or shooting? Then bullets. Does your SO smoke? Then a pack of cigarettes is always appreciated. Does your SO wish that they smoked and or shot guns? Time for a cigar and a gift card to the local shooting range. Does your SO play video games (computer)? Humble Bundle time. Does your SO play video games (computer)? Consider a gift card to newegg so he/she can get some better memory. Does your SO sketch/draw? Time for a couple of really nice art pencils or a sketch book. Giving something like the above gifts shows that YOU actually listen to HIM when he talks about what he likes to do or would like to do with more time and money. Now here's the hard part ladies, leave him the hell alone so that he can enjoy it in peace.

Get him something small that aligns with his interests and habits, and some time alone. Follow up with sex and food for best results. Rinse. Repeat.

So last night, my husband and I were greeted by a very sweet, well natured little dog around 7:30pm in the common outdoor areas of our apartment complex. The dog appears to be in good physical condition; No fleas, clean coat, Did not eat or drink a ton when we offered such things to her suggesting that she had done so recently. Was not wearing any collar or tags. We walked around the complex several times to see if anyone was missing her. Posted signs with her picture and our contact information around 9:30pm. Continued to walk around the neighborhood to see if anyone was looking for her. Attempted to contact the police but non-emergency office closes at 5pm. We took this little girl back to the house for her safety for the night and was going to check with our leasing office in the morning to try and match the owner. Got a text and voicemail in the morning that was sent around midnight asking us to contact them regarding the dog. They gave the dog's name and breed and simply asked us to contact them. We responded to the text immediately upon waking up at 6:15 this morning. We did not hear anything, but figured it was early, so we waited until around 8:30am to call. No answer. Left a voicemail. It is now almost noon and still no word from the supposed owner. I have now taken off work to watch this little girl and am starting to wonder about who contacted us about the dog. Is something fishy? Am I just dealing with a lazy owner? Because if this were my dog this would have been dealt with first thing in the morning. She's a really sweet little dog and I would hate to send her back to an irresponsible owner, but at the same time, its not my dog and I may not have a choice. Any thoughts or ideas?

Found a lost dog. Was contacted late at night by supposed owners. Haven't heard from them since. Starting to wonder about reliability or credibility of owners. What can/should we do?

I (20F) broke things off with my live-in boyfriend (20M) of over two years last night. It had been on my mind for weeks and I decided to go through with it after talking to my parents and best friend, as well as writing it out on paper. I decided to do it for many reasons - not feeling happy, feeling held back, not feeling appreciated, & he has some personal hygiene issues, as well as problems communicating. When I talked to him last night I brought up everything I felt and he pretty mucb gave me the "I am who I am and its not going to change" (in regards to personal hygiene and me needing more help around the house - its a two way street) I decided to move out and that's what I'm supposed to be doing today, but this morning I feel terrible. I miss him and I'm second guessing my decision :( is this normal? I still love him, I know I do, I just think maybe this is for the best? I feel like I was generally happy the majority of the relationship... did I approach it wrong? Should I have just asked him again for more help around the house and to do more of my activities with me? Did we just maybe hit a rough patch and I'm dealing with it all wrong? I'm feeling like all the reasons I brought up are just excuses.. I seriously just want to cry all over again, I felt so horrible when I was telling him all this last night, I've never wanted to hurt him and it breaks my heart knowing I did... I think we agreed to try this apart thing for a couple weeks.. should I tell him if he want a to text or call me, or go for coffee or dinner I'd be open to that? Or should I just try and move on right away ? I've never broken up with anyone.. I used to think I'd be with him forever but I was starting to see maybe not.. but maybe that's just me being an irrational and crazy 20 yearold girl.. its not like he's abusive or cheats or is terrible to me.. aghhh :( :(

broke up with live-in boyfriend of over 2 years last night.. feel terrible this morning and already second guessing my decision... I think I miss him already, & idk what to do...

Previous posts: and I spent an amazing weekend with my crush in her hometown at the beginning of the month and went back feeling it went really well. We kept talking for a little while after I got back. I asked her if she was alright with coming with me to a wine festival next month (the largest in the world) and nothing. Then all the places filled up and she said yeah, I don't feel like going anymore. I then told her she could just come see me nearby (which is something we were talking about before I went to see her). It came off a little awkward but I didn't think too much of it. That was a little over two weeks ago. I tried a couple of times since to just ask how she was doing. She said nothing back. Why is she ignoring me? Is it because I came on too hard? I realize that a long distance relationship isn't great, and probably not what we want (we talked about previous relationships when we met and have been through that trip). So I'd still like to see her again in Prague, but just as a friend. But I don't know if she would like to too. Should I ask her what's going on? See why she's not responding? Call her out on it? I really don't want to create any drama.

Why would she stop talking to me all of a sudden? Was I too forward? Should I tell I've cooled down? Should I be up front about it?

Me and my girlfriend are traveling in the south of Spain, wile staying here we came across a puppy who had been bitten by a pit bull and had a broken jaw. We fell in love wi him and got an operation to fix him up. And he is doing better than ever now. We are currently trying to get him home to Scotland. He is just under 3 months old. He has been immunised for the "common puppy diseases" but I think he needs a rabies and a micro chip to travel across borders which he can't get until he in 4 months. However everything I know Iv heard form random people. I'm trying to find out exactly what it is that I need to get him home. I'm asking here because we don't speak great Spanish and the vet can only tell us so much.

3 month old puppy with passport and some injections nothing else need to travel from South Spain to Scotland. Thanks for helping. Sorry for my spelling

So last Tuesday, a girl I had a crush on a while back messaged me on Facebook out of no where. We really hit it off and had SO MUCH in common. I learned more about her, and she learned heaps more about me. Keep in mind that we have never spoken face to face before. After a few days we became really close and had been talking for hours on end. I have known that she is a very shy person, and after getting a message saying from her: "It took all my courage in me to message you, and I wasn't sure if we would connect, but look where we are now :)" This is when I started suspecting that she had a crush on me, I originally thought she was talking to me because she wanted to be my friend considering we had so much in common. It started making sense. She was always asking questions about myself, Sending pictures and complimenting me. We started getting pretty flirty, like commenting on each others looks. This has been going on for a while now at we are getting closer and closer. It soon became obvious in conversation that we were both interested in eachother. I love how straight forward it was, no mucking about. We admitted our feelings for each other through a few little silly messages. So the flirting has been going on for nearly a week now. It is sooo obvious now that there is interest in both ends. This is where the title comes in. Since we are both really shy, when we met in person at school to exchange DVDS, we barely said a word and we were all blushed, but online we talked openly very easily. We were talking about this on facebook, and saying how we never find a good time to talk as we are both surrounded by our group at lunch. Thats when I asked her if maybe she wanted to get together when she got back from her week long vacation to go to the movies. She said yes and sounded very keen. Now did I ask too early? We only really started chatting last week, but we have really hit it off. Its just so obvious that theres something between us that I thought there was no point waiting. And then I started wondering, maybe she doesn't think of it as a date? I am just a bit weary and need some clarification.

Talking to a girl for the past week, obviously attracted to eachother, heaps in common. Ask out on date already and not sure if its too soon or if she sees it as a date.

I know most people won't care about an update, but I just wanted to post anyways. Here's the original: So after saying good morning to her and talking and laughing with her, I worked up the courage later in the day to go up to her. I said something like "Hey, wanna exchange numbers so we can keep in touch?" and she was like "Yeah, of course - - and here's where my mind was blown and I'm pretty sure I wasn't hallucinating, but she mumbled- - maybe we could go out to dinner." blush face Meanwhile I'm thinking did she really just say that? Wow. SO awesome. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to go for it. I did it and she was so sweet and really cool about everything. This may not be a big deal, but I have never asked a girl that I was interested in for her number and was terrified. But it worked out! So anyways, go for your dreams, don't be scared!

I went for it. Totally excited about the results. We'll see how things play out from here Edit: she's really cute. Edit#2: I actually don't know how old she is, maybe 21 or 22. Edit#3: We keep catching eyes across the room. Oh jeeze.

Boring Backstory My girlfriend has been openly bi-curious since the start of our relationship (very curious, like almost certainly bi) and I'm reasonably curious as well, though not to the same extent. We've always been very comfortable with us both experimenting with the same sex in the form of makeouts and stuff at parties/when we're out and it's something that is generally a turn-on for both of us. She's been interested in experimenting with a lady, and it's something I support with the view that it sucks to have to repress that, and it's an experience I want her to be able to have. Current Situation So she's on the other side of the country for a while at the moment, working on a temporary job for a month, and she's met a girl there that may well be interested in experimenting before their time there is out (in a couple weeks). The initial revelation kinda made my stomach turn slightly, but the more I think about it/type the more okay I'm starting to feel. I know we're both pretty heavily invested in this relationship and we've been through a lot of shit (nothing relationship-based, all illnesses and other people being horrible) including periods of long-distance stuff and held together pretty damn well. Has anyone else here been through stuff like this? Got any advice or anything? I fluctuate so wildly between feeling uneasy and being totally okay.

Bi-curious couple, M/F, F more curious, F has opportunity to sleep with girl, previously said I was okay with it when discussed previously at length, conflicted!

well...for the most part, i agree with you. however, i don't believe that if "everyone" goes to college, it will move us "towards a more highly-educated, smarter society." if maybe everyone was going for physical science degrees, or math degrees. i knew a whole bunch of ppl who graduated college with degrees, and weren't any smarter, and made horrible life decisions, and no common sense. a college degree is no guarantee of intelligence. as stated earlier, its about getting a degree to be competitive in the job market. its all subjective really. college is supposed to teach students to think for themselves, and to think outside the box to solve problems (at least in the social sciences), but at the same time we must conform to their rules, hierarchy, and academic standards. there was a professor here at the University of California who wrote a op-ed piece about the "efficacy of prostate-specific antigen (PSA)." this is something we expect in academia. one person feels that the current method doesn't work, or isn't as effective as it could be, and speaks out. we would then expect him to do research to prove his method, or that the other method didn't work. however, this professor was removed as a professor of the medical school program teaching better patient care. This op-ed piece came just days after the University were involved in an event which promoted that particular type of test. these type of things seem to be counter-intuitive to the spirit of higher education, and instill within its students a horrible lesson: yes, you can have your own ideas, but pray to god that those ideas don't challenge what we are paying you to think. universities are about research, bottom line. they get private grants (not all, but most) to do this research. the point of getting students to attend, is to train them to eventually do research and further knowledge, and get grants.

College is about research, and preparing students to follow in that tradition. it doesn't necessarily guarantee intelligence (otherwise, we wouldn't have so many cases of drunken antics, or the pictures to laugh at on FB)

I have been dating my current girlfriend for 4 months, officially a couple for 2 months. When we started dating, she had an IUD put in her and has had it there since. Our original plan was to get tested for STDs and then we could have sex without a condom (we did this beforehand and it felt so good). We both came back clean; however, she got something called Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) which had her freaking out a bit...even though it isn't an STI. She took her course of meds and is fine now. Now she is saying she always wants to have sex with a condom. I realize it kind of seems like a minor issue on initial glance, but being fresh out of a serious LTR, I'm not sure if she is being sincere by this or if this is an early battle for control on her part. She has always said she doesn't respect guys that let her walk all over them. Part of me thinks she's acting way too paranoid because, from what I know, you can still get BV even with a condom on. I know she tends to worry too much about the smaller things...which is good in someways because I know she appreciates the little things and its harder to take me for granted...but this is kind of a little much. Do I raise this with her now? In a few months so there's no pressure? Or just let it go. Cliffs/

GF wants me to keep using condoms even though we are officially a couple, she has an IUD, and we are STD free. Should this be a big deal or not to me if I don't want to?

Firstly, you are a wonderful and loving father. Being a first time parent is totally stressful and half the time you have no idea what you are doing. Then you look at the little pudgy face and all the sleepless nights and anxious google searches on eating tips are worth it. But honestly, I sometimes wish that my parents had divorced. I'm the eldest sibling, and I ended up trying to shelter my youngers from lots and lots of anger. It was never fully directed at us, but we were the collateral damage so to speak and sometimes we just 'got in the way'. My mother would end up sleeping with me because he had locked her out, or it was just safer for her. She would tell me that she was going to leave and me and my youngers would go somewhere and it would be safe and quiet and nice. But this never happened. And for a long time I blamed her for what I thought was an obvious choice. They are still together. But theirs was and is a very different set of circumstances from yours. For a start, they love each other. Very very much. LOADS of counselling for all of us, together and separately. A&D for Dad. Time away for Mum. They are in a much better place now and I am really happy for them, and all of our relationships are much better now. But in saying that, I was resentful and angry and rebellious for a long long time as a result of what I was witness to. Children see and hear and they take these things on. Your daughter might be young now, but if she sees this kind of anger repeatedly expressed in a negative way, she will eventually start to accept it as normal. Which it isn't. It took me a long time to figure this out. I don't really want to say that you should leave your wife; that just feels like to much of a judgement on my part. But you seem to be so intent on considering your daughter that you should really think about how this current system will effect her and from what you've written, it sounds like it will be quite negative. I just wanted to give you my story and hope that it made things a little clearer perhaps.

Perhaps, with love, your dream of a 2 parent home could be eventually satisfied. But I think you know that's not the case here and I think you need to let this dream go. EDIT: Formatting - sorry bout wall of text

I've been on and off in an LDR for about two years with a girl I fell absolutely in love with. I was extremely attached, and we always seemed rocky. After dealing with my mental health issues, it got rockier than ever and I found myself in tears on a daily basis due to her lack of attention. She broke up with me saying she essentially felt like she couldn't talk about things to me; I'm assuming this is because I was clingy and she withdrawls very easily. It's fair; we just didn't have a romantic compatibility. Our happiest moments have been friendly interactions. I harbor no ill feelings towards her or the breakup, although she wanted us to have some space for a while. She suggested a month without speaking to let us heal separately; otherwise we'd use each other to heal and it was becoming unhealthy. I agreed reluctantly, because I'd miss her, but I agreed some time alone would give us breathing space. About three days into it, I felt so much better. I was sleeping, my depression was low (although I am on meds and their adjustment period is ending). I feel so much healthier and I realize that we are both much better as friends. I care about her a lot and I love hanging out with her, so I don't want to lose her to a relationship that didn't work out. I think it was mainly just issues of compatibility. I've been talking to another girl we both know and are friends with and she lives way closer. she's cute, funny and caring. We mesh naturally and I think it would be worth pursuing. My main concern is for my ex; I don't want her to be hurt that I've moved so fast. My friends and therapist have mixed opinions. Some think I should wait and see, and some think I shouldn't be thinking about how my ex would feel. But I really care about my ex and I know she loves me too, in a friendly way. I want to be happy and healthy with someone because of my track record of abusive relationships. For those concerned, I have two easy semesters left of college and a part-time job, so I'm not very stressed beyond my anxiety-related mental illness.

My ex broke up with me and two weeks later I'm interested in another girl. Am I moving too fast, or should I let myself be happy?

Please note I am a girl. Valentines day is a day made up by card companies to sell more cards. Just like Tiffany's invented the engagement ring in the 20s. I.E. its a scam and you are falling for it. Can your BF afford this new place? Why do you need him to make these reservations? Is it so you can tell all your GFs how amazing he is? Do you care about your BF or just the fact you cant go to this "nice" place anymore? In short, you are over reacting.

Valentines day is a scam, girls need to get off it, if your BF wants to take you out he should be able to do it on his own time and money, not because you demand it. Dont be a bitch.

I've known this guy since we were in elementary school. His parents have ran restaurant businesses for over a decade. In the 90s and 2000s when business was booming, they were rolling in the cash. When the economy tanked, they filled for bankruptcy. His mom and dad divorced, so his mom could keep the house and his dad would take the hit. After that their family decided to open another restaurant business; however, this time they opened it in my friend's name. He was a owner/president on all the legal documents but with no authority. (My dad believes that this is common among Chinese immigrants starting restaurant businesses: one person "owns" the business, if the business tanks, then the owner files for bankruptcy and the next relative starts the next business. Rinse and repeat.) The business lasted about a year. My friend now wants to start his own restaurant business. He has talked to his friends and family, and they've all been supportive of him. However, I don't think it is a good idea because for as long as I've known him, he has never had a mind for money nor a will to push forward when there is a lot on the line. When he asked me for my opinion, I asked him a bunch of questions; e.g., what kind of food are you going to sell, why that food, who will cook it, how are you going to pay for it, what is the interest on the debt, etc. Basically, I wasn't exactly supportive; I just wanted to know about his business. Afterwards he said that I was overwhelming him, and that in the future he won't bring up his business idea in the future because -- I suspect -- he doesn't like the feeling he gets when he talks to me about it. Should I/we never talk about it again?

My friend of twenty years wants to start a business. I've never known him to be business savy. In fact, he has said he "doesn't like money".

I bought a phone, from Metro PCS, 86 days ago. I used Bill Float which allows me to pay for the phone ($270), the accessories ($5), and the monthly service ($55) in installments of $87.20 ( total for everything is $330 ). I was TOLD, that I had 90 days to pay the total amount. I figured, seems fair enough, so I signed up. I did not receive a receipt from Metro PCS or Bill Float. I was TOLD I could access all that information online through my Bill Float account, I know, very stupid. Well, I've done my research, after the fact, and Bill Float/Smart Pay has many, many, many complaints online about fraud and theft. Mostly from people who say that they pay the total amount in 90 days and still keep getting charged monthly or people who say that SmartPay intentionally put's off payments before the 90 days so that an insane interest is applied and they are stuck making payments. Of course, there is no record of my original agreement that I made online or anywhere else so now I am freaking out. I called Smart Pay and they TELL me that the original amount that I agreed to pay was $399 not $330. This is ridiculous to me because I would never buy a phone and service for $400 and there is no record of this ANYWHERE for me to actually see. I have made 3 payments of $87.20 meaning that I have paid a total of $261.60 with another payment of of $87.20 scheduled to come out of my account today. I believe that I owe $69 but SmartPay thinks I owe another $138. I am so paranoid that SmartPay will scam me of my money, even if I did pay/after I paid the $138, that I don't know what to do. I blocked both my debit cards so they can't put the charge through. If I just drop all contact with them and stop making payments what could happen? Would this ruin my credit score ( which is really good btw ) or something? Am I shooting myself in the foot if I let the 90 days run out without paying the "full amount". Anyone else know of, have experience with Bill Float/ Smartpay that can help? Btw, I have really learned my lesson in not buying things that I can't afford upfront.

A bill float company that has a bad reputation is saying that I owe more than I do. I have stopped all payments to them in fear that they will scam me. Unsure of consequences. Help

Now that I am working, I decided that I would actualy pay up for a decent haircut instead of going to ChinaTown and getting a 5 dollar haircut. My friend recommended me to go to his barbershop. When I get to the barber all I see if pro-christ stuff and sacred music blasting in the top. Being an asian man I am totally weirded out and scared shitless but I still enter and wait for an available barber. I get an available barber, and show him a picture on my phone of what I want. The barber seems to be pro and as I look into the mirror I am starting to be happy about finally getting a proper haircut and I'm really enjoying the atompshere (I am really bigot about really religious people so I guess this a change for the better). Now here is the fuck up. The barber shows be the sides and the back of my hair with his mirror and then he tells me "I am just going to shave your neck and we will be done." Now usually at the place in ChinaTown I go to, just use an electric razor on my neck and its over. The barber takes out a straight razor (I have never seen one before in my life). I thought he was gonna disect me or something. My bigotry towards this place kicks in and I hastely getting out of the chair and I turn into a fighting pose ready to protect my life. The barber with a confused look says "What are you doing?". I then responded by saying "You fuckers were gonna cut my skin with the pocket knife." The barber says "This is a straight razor, have you never seen one before?". I just felt like an idiot at the point with a blank look on my face and just said "Sorry!" I get back in the chair let him finish, and I quickly pay my money and walk out. Edit: I was not wearing my glasses so everything was a blur. I still would probably think its a knife tho. Edit 2: Im Indian, asian seems to be misleading alot of people :\

Tried to get a decent haircut, thought pro christ fanatics were gonna disect me because I never seen a straight razor before. Got the best haircut of my life tho.

So, he's not exactly my SO. We've been on/off for the past few years, and as of right now we're off. It's been this way since last year because of the distance that was put between us because of college. However, distance next year wouldn't be much of an issue because I'm transferring schools. Anyway, I'm not the type of person who has a tight-knit group of girl friends. I've always had one best friend and a few other friends that I like to hang out with. Because of this, my SO became my best friend. He knows everything about me, and I'm closer to him than anyone else. My first semester alone, my paternal grandmother died (my first experience with death), my parents announced their divorce, and my maternal grandfather moved home with my parents. My maternal grandfather used to live in the same city I go to school in, so I would see him every week. Because of all of these things happening at once, I've become very reclusive, and I feel very alone. I find myself wishing I was at home every night rather than being here at school. So, I find myself relying heavily on my SO for comfort and happiness. I wish so badly I could be a confident person who doesn't rely on anyone for anything, but that's just not how things have turned out to be.

Because of a lot of family drama and being away from home, I'm extremely sad all the time and rely on my SO for comfort and happiness.

We've been together 2 years. I've never cheated on him. I've always been honest. I tell him whenever I go anywhere and who I'm gonna be with and sometimes he even has the phone numbers of the people I'll be with just in case. (He's never specifically asked for the numbers, I've give.n them to him in case my phone died). Tonight at the store he noticed a mark on my neck and said it looked like a hickey. I have no idea what it could be. One of the main reasons he's convinced I'm cheating is because I go hang out with some male friends and my sex drive has noticeably declined. I want to prove to him I'm not cheating but I don't know how.

boyfriend of 2 years thinks I'm cheating because of unknown bruise on my neck and lowered sex drive. how do I convince him I'm not cheating

I was on the train home after 12 hours in work, exhausted and a bit pissed off. I sat down at a table booth and a the most beautiful woman I have ever seen got on and sat in the booth next to me. We looked at each other occasionally and then she asked in a shy voice "Excuse me, when does this train get into Liverpool?' I replied I wasn't sure but at least an hour and a half, and we just got talking for a whole hour, University, jobs, houses, stupid stories and then the question of age came up, she said she was 31 but looked younger than me (Im 22) I told her my age and she didn't bat an eye. She had to call a friend saying where to go when she got to the station. My stop was about to come up and she saw me picking up my things. she said to me "is this your stop" I nodded. then she said to the friend who's birthday party she was going to "I'LL CALL YOU BACK" we continued our chat and i just got up and left, never asked for her number, I never even got her name. I got to my car and my mind just went WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!!!!

Met the most beautiful and intelligent woman I have ever seen in my life, got on ridiculously well and I never got her number. Fuck you brain.

First off, let me preface this by saying that this is a very minor disagreement. My girlfriend and I have a fantastic relationship in every aspect and this is just a difference of opinion that I want to handle tactfully. Male pattern baldness runs in my family so I've been bracing for this point basically my whole life. I've been gradually thinning at the very crown of my head since I was a freshman in college and now it's gotten to the point that the bare skin is pretty visible and i have a few wisps of hair where the whorl (hair swirl) used to be. It's not a massive bald patch -- I can't see it when I look at my reflection in a mirror, I have to hold a hand mirror behind my head at the same time in order to see it. My hairline is mostly the same as it's always been, very little receding/thinning in front. Nonetheless, I have seen what's going on in back and in my opinion it doesn't look good. I want to just get rid of it all and go with the shaved head look. I would have done so already by now, but my girlfriend has other ideas. On a couple of occasions during our relationship I have tried the buzzed short look. The first time I tried it myself with the electric clippers i use for my facial hair and my head ended up looking goofy, another time I went to a stylist and it ended up looking alright. Both times my girlfriend was disapproving. She didn't like the look (I personally think she's just not used it would get accustomed over time) and was disappointed that she couldn't run her hands through my hair anymore. So I didn't maintain the look and went back to my usual haircut. Lately, though, I've been seeing the baldness get worse and I really think it's time to go fully bald. I did it once when I was 20 (before my girlfriend and I met) and I think I was a bit too young then. I made the mistake of NOT using clippers first, instead I just at a (mostly) full head of hair with a Gilette razor and ended up with a scalp full or razor burn that took forever to clear up. Afterward it looked alright but I had to admit to myself that I looked a little young to be sporting a bald head. But now some time has passed I think with the proper approach, I can get an adult, professional look and avoid giving myself razor burn. I want to start shaving my head soon and keeping it shaved thereafter, however I don't want my girlfriend to think that I'm ignoring her wishes. How do I reconcile this with her? We have discussed the matter on a few occasions but she remains unconvinced.

I'm going bald and want to start shaving my head. She's not a fan of the look. Want to proceed but also be considerate of her feelings.

Hi Reddit, Long time lurker here, I need some help. I moved to Japan two weeks ago to teach English at an English school here. I figured it would be a good job for a gap year until grad school. It's been challenging adapting to the culture, but I'm trying hard. I can go shopping and buy food and stuff. I can't speak much Japanese though. Last week I went to work and met the girl whose job I'm taking over, she's a nice girl from the Philippines. But she told me a lot of things about the job that freaked me out. The biggest one being the owner of the school sexually assaulted her. I got really scared, because I'm a 22 year old girl here alone, and if something like that were to happen I'm not sure how to react. I guess slapping him and quitting immediately is always an option, but to hear that on the first day! Right after signing a year contract! Freaked me the fuck out. But there are more things I'm afraid of. Apparently the company has a really bad reputation here, (not very transparent) and the employees are told to "lie for the good of the company." Not very cool. I'm going to be teaching classes to every age group imaginable. 4year olds, elementary school kids, Jr. High, high school, adult group classes and private lessons (each of these classes every day!) I taught it for a week, and it was too much for me. There were too many classes (like 9 a day) and I was crying at the end of every day from how overwhelming it was. I've never taught anyone before, and being thrown into this is more than I can handle. I don't know how to make it better. I'm very stressed, every day after work I come home and freak out about the next day. Its been an emotional time, Being in Japan for thanksgiving especially, while the rest of my family was together, made me sad. I came home after work to an empty apartment and ate noodles. I cried. I'm really, really stressing out about this job, and about being here. I don't know if I can do this. I just want to experience Japan for a year, not constantly stress out about work. I don't know what to do to make it better.

moved to Japan for a job, found out my company has a very bad reputation, and feeling overwhelmed with the workload. I'm freaking out. Not sure it's worth it. Please if anyone has any advice, I need help.

I met this guy, "Rick", at work. We started talking one day and I thought he was really interesting and we exchanged numbers. Within one week we were dating, and things became intimate quickly after that. He told me he had an annoying roommate so we never went to his place. The other day a coworker drove him home from work, and stayed to smoke. I heard today from the co-worker that his "annoying roommate" is actually his girlfriend and her son. I confronted him about it, and he says that its true and he never should have started anything with me. I told him I never want to see him again. Today is 2 weeks later and it's been 47 days since my last period. I've never been that late before. Recently I've passed out in the shower, I threw up at the sight of a cheeseburger which I normally love, and my breasts are super sore. I really think I'm pregnant. So here's my problem. I'm the oldest of 10 kids and my parents believe abortion is a mortal sin. I have no money or the means to get one myself. Rick refused to pay for an abortion. I don't want to tell my parents because they will make me keep the baby. Can I quietly sue my ex-boyfriend for the money to pay for an abortion?

Met a guy named Rick Who lived with his chick He gave me a baby Said peace out lady I got the short ended stick

Yes, our 17 year old son is gay. He came out last year, my husband and I don't care. He's our son and he's amazing and we are damn proud of it. One of our ''friends'' who lives a few houses down apparently called our son a fucking fag**t while he was with some other people in our small ish group at a weekend get together. Another woman in the group who is a close friend told me about this and made sure that we knew he was very much sober when he said this. My husband asked him about it and he fessed up but said it was just the alcohol talking. My husband explained that this was still very much unacceptable even if it were true and told him that we didn't really want him round at our place anymore. Now several of our friends have been on our case telling us it was all just the 'stupid words of someone who didn't know better' and he was just joking? That we shouldn't throw away a friendship that's more then 11 years old over a small thing like that. He's 45? The hell you mean he doesn't know better? I mean yes, he comes from a very Christian family and is quite religious but even if you don't like the fact that someone whose kid isn't yours is gay, you should keep your mouth shut and keep that to yourself. So what to do here ? It's become a small point of conflict in our group, though we do also have friends that agreed they would have done the exact same thing if ANYONE made remarks like that about their child.

friend made a messed up remark about our son due to his sexuality, we cut him out, now other friends are jumping on our backs for not being able to 'take a joke' and telling us he just didn't know better

Hi reddit. I'm 17 years old and have been through a bit of difficulties in my life (not the best childhood, highschool experience, family). As of this, I won't say how different I am because of this. It's just that much older adults always tell me how mature I am for my age, whenever discussing topics I find interesting or trying to relate to others. Though most would take it as a compliment, I feel so... off? I hear all the time how mid 20s is considered young. Yet I look at myself at 17 and I honestly feel like I'm 90. It's beginning to wear me down. I'm not exactly sure why but I just notice how predictable everything is. It gets boring to even speak sometimes to others my age because they don't even understand anything I am saying. I find it so difficult to talk to anyone my age. I'm now a senior in highschool and have absolutely no "group" friends. I'm always alone. Studying, reading, on my phone trying to not look awkward. Everytime I try to talk to anyone my age, I feel like I can't really connect to their level. I get bored having to listen to "should I ask her out?" "Are you going to this event?" "Did you see what person did?" I get along with people older than my age. I don't know why I can't with my age group. I feel isolated that the only time I can have a heart to heart conversation about companies, space, theories of so and so . I recently talked to this 30 year old man for 40 minutes straight talking about passions, ideas, start ups, etc. He was a door to door internet seller and we just ended up talking naturally to the point of him even giving me his personal email and number. I feel so old. How is 22 let alone 25 considered young? Why can't I just naturally talk to people in my age group? I'm tired of having to be alone or say filler words that end with nothing. Eg, "How are you? Good you? Fine"   Edit : For clarity, I realized people may see me as egocentric when I wrote how people outside my age group say I'm mature. I'm not saying I myself am mature. Just that this is what others say.  

I have trouble communicating genuinely with people in my age group yet can have hours on end conversations with adults. I don't understand why this is and because of it, have no true friends. I feel so old at 17.

I've been in two horrible relationships that messed me up pretty bad. I was on the side lines for my parents gruesome divorce. These things combine have made me pretty good at compartmentalizing my feelings. Last August upon returning to school I met an awesome guy and we instantly became friends soon after we started sleeping together. We weren't sleeping with anyone else, this when on for the entire school year. At the end of the spring semester we had the "what are we" talk that I had been avoiding for quite awhile. We decided based on our summer plans being exclusive didn't make any sense. It wasn't until then that I actually sat down and sorted out my actual feelings, I realized how much I actually like him. He's the first person I've let myself like since my last boyfriend of three years that ended in 2009. I suppressed these feelings and went about my summer, flirting with boys, hooking up, enjoying myself. Now we're back to school and we started to hang out again quickly getting back into our old routine. I was laying in bed this morning looking at him and I couldn't stop thinking. I thought about my past and then I thought about all the things I want in a relationship, out of another person and what I want from myself. I realized I'm so lost. I don't want to get myself into anything that I can't handle, I'm trying to graduate and what not. Every part of me wants him and only him. I don't like seeing him with other people and the idea of him being with someone else drives me crazy. But I feel like there is almost a wall that blocks me from wanting a relationship in anyway because they have always plagued my life. I used to be so good at keeping our relationship in two separate worlds one where we were just awesome friends and then the other where we had casual sex with no complication. I want it to stay easy, carefree and uncomplicated but I don't know if I can keep those two worlds apart anymore. I thought about this for over an hour. I started to get really upset and I didn't want him to see me so upset because I didn't want to have to explain myself. I left quietly as to not wake him, pretended I was fine socialized with his housemates so nothing seemed odd, went home and had myself a good shower cry. Now I'm just sitting in my room wondering why I'm so fucking broken and how to fix myself. I'm at a loss and I know that my loss is partially based in fear of change. I haven't really asked a question here so I guess I'm just looking for someone who has had a similar situation to give me some advise on how to get over myself and deal with it. Thank you for anyone who sat down and read this long and slightly whiny post.

I started sleeping with my friend a year ago. I've always been good at compartmentalizing my feelings and keeping the sex and friendship separate now I feel like the whole thing is crashing down inside my head and I don't know how to deal.

Tifu, well not today more like the whole month, I recently got dumped by my boyfriend of two years. But things were kinda okay we would text and see each other like once every two weeks. Well I guess that had me feeling over confident. I started texting him more in a annoying way, thinking he can't live without me. Well sure enough he can and he blocked my number. Still being the over confident lunatic I am I downloaded on those text apps and kept texting him instead of giving him space (like I did this a crazy amount of times I did this). I honestly didn't mean to come off crazy, I've recently have had a lot of problems with my parents, that he knows the most about and I just wanted to talk to feel comfortable. The worst part is his mom came into my work to tell me to stop texting him or he will change his number. If I just let everything go naturally we could of still been friends or more. His friends are a large part of why we broke up, they didn't like that I lived there and wouldn't come over as much as my boyfriend wanted. But they will all be going back to school in August. Also his mom was like a second mom to me, since mine doesn't want me. So I feel like I lost a lot more. Oh and I can't even try and date some else cause a lot of people heard about the 500 million texts and I guess it's kinda off putting. Sorry about the grammar/spelling I am just venting

Fucked up by over texting an ex boyfriend in hopes to get back together. Didn't work, looked crazy. Fucked up any chance I had left with him. Now the next 6 months finding a date will be tough. Lost a second mom basically.

Long story short the past three months I did everything I could to make it work. The last year of our relationship I was trying to learn somethings about myself and religion before I committed myself to her fully. I figured myself out and after three months of showing her this, she now doesn't want a relationship because of what I did (smoked wed a couple times/ overcame a PMO addiction), even though she cant see all the improvements I MADE (3 months ago). After these three months she just decides to move away and join YWAM for 6 months. Now i'm left here, only wanting her. She wanted me to change these things so she could fully have me, once I changed myself FOR myself, and her. She decided she doesn't want anythings and leaves. Now she is leaving in about a week and we are about to have our closure talk. She texted me she was leaving and doing this. So for the about a week I didn't say anything to her but merry Christmas. now we are going to talk and I dont know how to make this better and not any worse. What should I avoid talking about and what should I talk to her about to encourage her? Anything I definitely should say? and anything I should to help? Really appreciate any advice guys. My palms are sweating and I know this is going to be tough.

I tired everything I could because she wanted me and I wanted her. Once I made the changes, she leaves for 6 months and we are about to talk about it in a few days before she leaves.

I will try my best to explain this. For the record, I absolutely love this girl and care for her but we are not dating but we hang out every single weekend. So we usually talk for hours at night, and we get into some deep stuff that she needs help with. So last night she showed me a poem/story that she wrote that was about her past. I will try my best to summarize it. It starts off with someone who is always happy and lives a great life. Everything is going well for this girl. Then things get bad, but not horrible. Finally things get so bad this girl anymore and she commits suicide. So back to real life, she had an abusive boyfriend who molested her (Not sexually) and blamed her for everything that went wrong. This made her feel suicidal. She went to therapy for awhile and slowly got better. A year or so later, she got together with another guy, and things were going great. This boyfriend broke up with her around 2 months ago and once again she was devastated. She feels that every single relationship she is in that she is the problem. She says how she thinks everyone walks over her, and that it will happen all of her life. I try to comfort her and complement her for how she is really a good girl and these guys manipulated her. I try to tell her that we (her and me) have an awesome relationship even though we are not dating. She is convinced that she will ** this one up as well. I need someone to help me say the words that she needs to here. These guys were horrible guys and I know it wasn't her fault. Maybe a bit but these guys were bad news. One day I will ask her out. I really want to tell her that she is amazing and not everything is her fault. Some other things happened that I do not feel comfortable talking about happened in her past. I want to help her not blame herself and that I want to tell her that I really want to date her but I have not asked the question since I care for her so much that I do not want to hurt her. How can I tell this girl that everything that happened to her is not her fault and that I want to date her but I do not want to hurt her as all relationships have their struggles. Reddit, can you give me words to say or ideas that can help me? Thank you

How do I tell this girl that everything is not her fault in a loving, sweet way and tell her how much I care and love her but I fear I would hurt her if I dated her and that is why I have not asked.

I live in CO and right now the James Holmes trial (Aurora theater shooter) is starting to slowly move forward. Any time there is a story about the trial or James Holmes there are all these really horrible comments about dispensing with a trial and just taking him out back and shooting him type of comments etc. I don't like the guy any better than the next person, and I think he is a bad person but to completely dispense with the law is also not right. The prosecution must do a good job in exhibiting his fully guilt prior to sentencing and if they don't then either there isn't enough there to convict (I think they will have more than enough in this particular case) or they did a poor job or representing the crimes.

I think every criminal no matter how heinous their crimes may be still deserve access to a fair trial and get upset when people want to dispense with that process. In this particular case the James Holmes trial in Colorado for the Aurora theater shooting.

Former drunk here...sober since 5/21/11. I was you a few months ago. I drank to self medicate my depression from a shitty childhood and some losses I had as a young adult. Didn't want to do AA either. I quit by seeing my Dr. and telling him I would like to quit drinking. Explained I knew why I drank and admitted I was afraid to quit. He prescribed Librium (to prevent the DT's) and Celexa (anti-depressants). Told me just to stop and take the Librium if I get shaky. I picked a day and just quit cold turkey. Took the pills when things got rough and they worked great. Was good to go. Haven't had a drop since. I used my KIDS and my reason to stay strong and stop. Its not easy, but if you are motivated, you can do it. You have to want it. Simple as that. I was scared to stop, but its the BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE. No shit. Life is soooo much better. You will see! Also have gone to psychotherapy for the depression issues. I think that has been what has kept me totally sober. I had to fix the reason why. You HAVE TO fix the reason why you drink if you want to succeed. I got to the root of why I drank. The therapist gave me some tools to fix my feelings. It really really really helped. Highly recommended. I think I would not be successful had I not gone. So

See your Dr. Explain your problem. Go to one on one therapy. Want to be sober deep down inside. Stay strong and don't look back. You can do it my friend. Just take the first step.

Overweight (260 pounds) here. There is just so much that becomes harder. A lot more of it than you would think is mental. I have had to change the way I wipe my ass. I couldn't bend over like I would before because now i have a cushion, and my arms are shorter than normal anyway. Oh and exercising? I used to play for 3 football teams and 2 cricket teams when I was a teenager, now my heart rate shoots up from climbing the stairs or a gentle incline. The problem is the more weight you put on, the harder it is to exercise. And yeah while we're on it, exercise is a mentally diminishing thing too. I've suffered from asthma all my life as well so exercising is hard. And there's always this sense afterwards that I've achieved something but you always realise that it made fuck all difference, and it's your own fault that it's so hard to do in the first place. People say do more exercise like it's an ancient secret miracle cure, but I play squash and ride my bike weekly, and make sure to walk a reasonable amount each day, and when none of it makes a difference, it's back to the cheesecake and crying about how useless you are. Not to mention the fact the fatter I get, the more food I need to feel full. Obesity is one of the few health issues that physically stops you treating it the worse it gets. The poor circulation is shit too. And people deal with you so much differently, even without realising. When ordering at McDonald's (comfort eating) I get "is that a large?" Every time. When buying clothes I want to be asked what size, please don't just get me the XL. I have to work so damned hard to be proactive at work because I otherwise get lumped as lazy just for being fat. Oh and just because I'm fat doesn't make me weak. You try lugging around that much weight all the time. But I'm assumed to be shit at everything because people only see fat, not muscles.

if being overweight doesn't make it physically harder to do somerthing, it will make it emotionally/mentally harder. Also, reading it back, this got a little personal for me, so pardon the rant.

Senior Prank in my school; I was a freshman at the time and i knew that the school was known for pranks that got out of control. Well that year, the current seniors brought crickets and threw them all over the floors (the crickets where all over people's hair), they also brought and threw water balloons (some filled with piss) all over the fourth floor and some stair cases, as well as brought live mice and had spread them all over the sixth floor (for some reason the mice where also being thrown all over the place). What topped it off was that they had also brought bottles of baby oil and had spread them all over the back stair cases (since everyone was running away from the other pranks they utilized the back stair cases which resulted to some students slipping on the stairs and one specific student breaking his arm). So when everything was reaching a conclusion, a junior decided to pull a fire extinguisher from one of the hall's emergency cases and slammed it in the floor (Unfortunately this happened in the fourth floor as well and the whole floor was covered in white smoke). The nypd was later brought in and everyone in the fourth floor was evacuated from the building.

senior prank that included crickets, water balloons filled with piss, baby oil and a fire extinguisher. Well in my current senior year, a kid was stabbed which made it all over the news and it led for my high school to now close down.

Okay r/relationships, I've been a Redditor for a little while and almost never post but I really need help. I will try to keep it short. To give you a little backstory, when I was a child growing up it was just my mother [42F] and I for awhile. I saw my biological father every couple of weeks. When I was 9, my mother met my step-dad [43M] and we moved to a different part of the country with him shortly thereafter. My bio dad went into the army after we left but was discharged in the same state that I live in now. From the ages of 12 to 16, I didn't hear from him at all. I honestly assumed he was dead because my mother told me about his drugs and theft problems when she felt I was old enough to understand. He finally got in touch with me at 16 and has been steadily trying to rebuild a relationship ever since. I do love him as a father, but he's been in and out of jail for years so there have been extended periods where I didn't talk to him. While my bio dad was absent, my step-dad and his family took me in like I was their own. I have two siblings [12F,8M] and I've never been treated any differently by my step-dad than if I was his blood-related child. He raised me where my bio dad didn't and I love him. So, that brings us to now. I've met an amazing man [26M] who proposed to me on New Years and now I'm getting married! I have already decided that my step-dad is going to be the one who walks me down the aisle, but I don't know how to tell my biological father. He's not a bad guy and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I also don't want to crush him because I'm his only child. So, /r/relationships any suggestions on how to approach this? Or maybe how to incorporate my biological father into the wedding? Thank you all for the help!

Biological father was absent for portions of my life. Step-father was there for me and I would like him to walk me down the aisle when I get married but I don't know how to tell my bio dad!

Some backstory: I was in a very unhealthy relationship for 4 years and finally got the balls to leave about a month ago. My two really close friends (one male, one female) did a lot of stuff to help make sure I was okay. In that course of events, my male coworker and I ended up hanging at his place alone, and slightly intoxicated. We hooked up- completely consensual. Started hanging out together a lot more, getting to know each other, and continuing our casual relationship. Aspects of our time together started to become less casual and more romantic ish.. cuddling, goodbye kisses, things like that. And then I realized that I had feelings for the kid. Because of the circumstances, and the fact that I just got out of a long term relationship, I wasn't going to say anything about how I felt. And then I started thinking about it more, and decided it'd be better to have everything out in the open. So I had been working up the courage to tell him in person, but chickened out every time and decided to get it over with via text. The response I got back was.. confusing, to say the least. The feelings are mutual, but he doesn't see anything more serious working out and the typical "I don't want to lose you" kinda thing. Where I'm stuck, however, is how I feel regarding the whole thing. I asked for clarification as to why he doesn't think it'll work out, so I'm waiting on that. (I think it has something to do with my recent relationship, but thats speculation) On the other hand, I was completely expecting the response I got- and I really didn't think I was looking for anything serious, either. However, I've found myself to actually be really upset by the "rejection". I kind of expect us to sit down and talk all of this over fluidly, but until then I'm stuck in limbo. I know I shouldn't be upset by this because it was what I was expecting, but I can't find a way around how I'm feeling. Is it healthy to continue the casual relationship we have, even though feelings are involved on both ends? I definitely want to- but I don't want to find myself in a situation where I'm jeopardizing a great friendship. I definitely need to talk it over with him, but I guess I'm just kinda looking for advice as to how to properly approach the situation without anyone ending up hurt. Thanks in advance, reddit.

told my fwb I caught feels. Got softly rejected for the greater good even though feels are mutual and I'm not sure how to approach the situation now

So I have been seeing my boyfriend for three years and he is a really great guy. I have no trust issues with him, but I think last night he still crossed the line. He was out drinking with some co-workers and since he drove and ended up drinking a lot, he slept over at a girl co-workers house. I think this is totally inappropriate, even though I'm sure nothing happened. He doesn't seem to find that much of an issue with it, and said he just didn't want to pay for a cab home. I am seriously pissed, and I think this totally crossed the line. Am I overreacting here, or do I have a right to be really mad?

Boyfriend [20] slept at a female co-workers house overnight because he didnt want to pay for a cab home. Do I have a right to be pissed off or am I overreacting?

I'm from Australia, where tipping in restaurants, taxis, etc. is not obligatory. It is seen as a nice gesture, but certainly not as obligatory as in America. I've also spent time in parts of Asia, where tipping is most definitely not expected, and at times even offensive. My view of it is that (in the case of restaurants at least) it should be the restaurant owner's responsibility to ensure good service. If they have bad staff, it should be their responsibility to take care of it. I'll give an example: friends of mine went to America and had bad service. Meals were cold, service was slow. When they pointed out that they had been waiting a long time, it was met with an indifferent 'we're really busy tonight'. They then did not leave a tip, and were chased by the staff and asked, rather rudely, why they didn't give a tip. They explained their previous reasons. In this instance, where the tip is just presumed, it is having no impact. It seems to me that the 'tip' has lost all meaning in this scenario. As Americans (or indeed any country where tipping is customary), do you feel similarly, or am I missing something?

I don't think tipping (i.e. ensuring prompt/good service) should be the customer's responsibility. What are your thoughts? EDIT: I'd also be curious to know the history of tipping in America. How did it develop into the convention it is today?

Hey there fellow redditors and people geniuses. So I'm in a bit of a bind and need confirmation basically on what I already know. Bit of background, I met a girl after trying to help a stray dog, we ended up sharing numbers for information on the dogs whereabouts when it eventually fled from us. After time and conversation we gave up hope and just started chatting aimlessly till I got the courage to ask her out, she agreed to my surprise and seemed pretty interested in our date, so I thought anyway. Few days before the date whilst we were conversing she apologised as she couldn't make it to our date as she forgot she had a party to go to with her mother then, I didn't think much of it things happen, we reschedule for the day after. As we get to the day of I send her a text to make sure she can make it so I don't turn up like an idiot. She apologised again said she woke up sick and had a busy work day so she wasn't up to it, at this point I thought hell with it, she can set up the next one then. She said recheduling would be great but she never set a time so I just stayed conversing with her for a few days after before she eventually said that she was too busy with assignments and would like to wait till those were done. At this point I lost interest and thought what ever at least she will be a good friend, fun personality and good with conversation so no harm. Till we hit the current situation, she lost battery at our last conversation and didn't text me till I messaged her a day or so later. She gave another excuse, her phone charger broke and she didn't get a new one till that day I texted again, I sent a joke text mocking her for leaving me hanging. No response. Basically, I get she's ghosting me and probably not interested anymore but I lost interest in her that way as well and wanted to stay cool as friends, a part of me wants to call her out on ghosting and to say we should just be chill and friends, another realises that's probably too much and should just let it all slip away.

What do you think I should do let the girl that I lost attraction to due to ghosting fade out? Or call her shit out and explain I'd be just interested as friends at this point?

I did everything I could do to help you through everything you have wrong. Told you every day how much I loved you and that I'd always help you with those things. Then you went to a party I didn't want you to go to, I got hit by a car while you were at it. You freaked out, said I was lying because you went to the party. You blocked my number, then emailed me saying that you were leaving for the mental hospital, and that I drove you to it. So after days of feeling that guilt I knew I didn't deserve, but still felt. I texted your dad apologizing, he told me you weren't in a mental hospital and that you'd call and apologize. You left me a voicemail, saying "I'm sorry all this happened" still not taking responsibility for your lie. So in short, fuck you for your lies, I'm sure there were a lot more. I was always good to you, and loved you immensely. You already knew about my trust issues and you still did what you did. My confidence, success, and self-esteem are better off without you. Life is good. I couldn't give one fuck, and it's the happiest I've ever been, so thanks.

lied that I drove her into a mental hospital. I manned the fuck up and am doing the best I ever have. life is great.

I'm not sure where to start, but it's basically this - my GF of 3 years doesn't seem to trust me anymore with anything. It all started about a week ago when I asked her how she was doing and if she was happy, she said, not really...okay...fine...discussion time... Short version is, while we were on vacation for a month I got frustrated with her. She made mistakes were made navigating, and we'd been driving for 12-14 hours/day. I got clearly annoyed, and she broke down and cried. That was in August. It took her over a month to talk about this to me, and I felt like I had to pry it out of her. It's tiring. The thing is though, prior to last week, she had told me repeatedly that she was happy and that everything was good. I feel betrayed since she clearly lied to me. She told me that since vacation she hasn't been able to openly talk to me because she's afraid of how i'll react. I just don't get it. She's said I don't respect her, or her decisions, and talk down to her. I don't think I do. There's clearly a power imbalance in the relationship. Shortly after we moved in together, she started talking about a buying a house and me moving in a paying rent. I wasn't cool with the idea of us not being equals in owning a house, but I sucked it up since I didn't have the coin to buy a place, and figured, if I'm gonna be paying rent, it might as well be to my GF. She makes more money than me. She's a school teacher, and I am a carpenter. This isn't a big deal. Such is life. We're both on the board of directors for a local non profit. We both joined the board at the same time, and she recently became the president. She has expressed issues with me dealing with contacts I have dealt with for 5+ years, and requested all the communication go through her as it would make things more fluid for the people we deal with only having to communicate with one person. I get the logic in that, but it feels to me like she doesn't trust me to do my damned job any more. She has also been openly recruiting people to take over/replace me on a large scale project I've been running for 4 years. I am not consulted in any way, I get no say in who takes over. I'm completely blind on this. Now I've openly said that my term is coming to an end and I'd like some more free time, but I figure I at least deserve some say in who replaces me, and continues on.

GF Doesn't trust me, hides things from me. I get frustrated with her sometimes. Am I completely batshit insane here, or are the bigger issues that I can't see?

Oh man, I've had a ton of these discussions in the last couple years. It's always kind of a mind trip to me and I end up turning it back on people, like, why do you eat meat all the time? Mind you, I've never actually been a legit vegetarian (I only infrequently eat chicken, ham, bacon, and salmon and can't touch ground meat), but my dad has been for 40+ years. He'd make us meat dishes, but not every day. Also, my stepdad (who does all the cooking at my mom's house) is Indian, and although he's not veggie a lot of the dishes he makes have no meat. I never thought that my food conceptions were non-standard at all until probably the last few years. It wasn't until I was deep in my twenties that I realized with astonishment how many people not only eat meat every day, but with every meal.

I guess telling people "I was raised this way" circumvents a lot of the questions and they're also speechless when I tell them I've never had a hamburger

I am always scared to go to the hair salon to get even a trim. I have been growing out my hair for about 4 years now and want it to be super long. One time I went to the stylist to get a trim and he cut it into this weird "v" shape without my permission (every trim I got was always a straight across trim). He was taking an unusually long time but I didn't really notice what he was doing because I didn't have my glasses on. I thought he was just being really careful because I have long hair. When he was done, I put my spectacles back on and was shocked at what a shitty job he did. I should have said something to him but I was in too much shock. I didn't tip him and went to another salon begging someone there to fix the damage. I ended up losing another 4 inches to get my hair back the way I wanted. This sounds very vain but I was so devostated. I spent a long ass time trying to grow out my hair only to chop off so much of what I spent growing. I never went back to the shitty salon. I knew I should've said something but I was just so shocked.

Got a shitty haircut, was passive aggressive and went somewhere else to fix it, lost more hair than I wanted, never went back to the shitty salon.

I have been dating my girlfriend for 8.5 months prior to this. AT the beginning of summer we both agreed to trying a long distance (two hour flight away) when I went off to college. However this summer, seeing as we both come from different countries spent the majority of the summer (6 out of 7 weeks) away from one another. This obviously was a toll on me, especially considering both of us had limited internet access. I will admit that I was having second thoughts, but I knew that all of those second thoughts would be gone as soon as I got to see her again. Fast forward 3 weeks and I get a call from my girlfriend at 4AM after a night out. She claims that I don't love her enough to be in a long distance relationship, and that for the past 4 months she's saw that I wasn't capable of doing it. She also said that I was a mistake and she shouldn't have fallen so hard for me. I know she was drunk but those comments really fucking hurt. I can't believe she hasn't emotionally trusted me for the past 4 months. I love her to death and would do a long distance, but I think this may have gone too far. Do I pretend I never heard it and continue with my future plans, or do I have a serious conversation with her about next year?

My girlfriend drunk called me, saying things that made me question the future of our relationship. I'm not sure if I should take what she said drunk last night to heart, or if I should ignore it and pretend it never happened

Socialism and communistic ideology was very strong in our nation's past, just not when it was forced by the government. The biggest contributor towards creating a will against universal healthcare was the governments decision in the 1960's to pay for the elderly when they went to the doctor, before that, the doctors would treat them for free as a civic duty. When Johnson decided to pay for it, it was the end of free health care for the old. Furthermore, for profit hospitals didn't exist before the 1960's, as soon as business men realized that they could implement a profitable way to run hospitals, they bought them up, charged per procedure, and American Health Care changed.

American Businessmen and Doctors realized they could make a lot of money off of healthcare, so they fought for the most profitable way to do it possible, which would not include universal healthcare. Links to NPR stories below.

I used to work at the fish department in a pet store. It never ceases to amaze me how people figure they can put as many fish as they want into even the smallest aquarium. One day a lady came in with her small child, found the cheapest 1-gallon aquarium in the store, and proceeded to find me and insisted that I bag and sell her half a dozen 3-4 inch sized fantail goldfish. There were two problems here: the first is, obviously, six goldfish (of any size, let alone medium sized ones) can not fit into a 1-gallon aquarium. The other is, we were not supposed to sell fish with a warranty to someone planning on going home directly and setting up the aquarium, because they will most likely die (you are supposed to set up the aquarium for a few days to a week at least before adding fish). When I told her that I couldn't sell her the fish for these reasons, she completely lost her mind! She started screaming at me, "What do you mean I can't put 6 fish in there? They will fit won't they? Sell me the damn fish!" To which I replied, "I'm sure they might physically fit into the tank- but they won't be able to live comfortably in there. I'm sure you could fit 15 people into a 1-bedroom apartment too, but would they be able to live there?" She became very red in the face and insisted that it was not my job to tell her how to set up her tank, and insisted on speaking with a manager. I was only too happy to oblige, and was even happier when the manager told her exactly the same thing that I did. Apparently the manager was able to have a more productive conversation than I did, because about an hour later I was incredibly satisfied when the woman came back to me and begrudgingly asked, "Well what kind of fish can I put in here then?" The satisfaction of a rogue customer having to swallow her pride and come back to me for help almost made up for having to deal with her in the first place.

Woman asked me to sell her 6 goldfish for a 1-gallon tank, flips out and talks with my manager, then has to come back and ask me for help later.

You should do this and you deserve to. Once you no longer have a responsibility to look after your parents, your life is your own. Learn to scuba dive (get a dive master qualification so you can teach/take groups diving), learn basic mechanics & carpentry skills and go live on that boat. Be tied to noone or nothing, except the quay when you're moored. Some people have said about keeping the house and I would be in two minds about it: Yes, it is an asset to keep but also it ties you to it where you yearn for that freedom to roam plus unlocking the financial value of it will allow you to do anything you want. If you live frugally then you can do what you want (and have complete financial independence) for the rest of your natural. I'm heading out this year on a world cycle tour with the intent of not coming back to the UK (to live here at least) so I know that feeling of just wanting to go where the trade winds take you.

Do it! [EDIT TO ADD] I cannot believe that someone has downvoted me less than an hour after I wrote this comment! What is so contentious in what I said that deserves that?

After speaking more in depth with one of the agents it seems that initial quotes can vary due to different interpretations prior to the underwriting. Two agents may see a raised ranch as two different styles of house (which was actually one of the discrepancies for me). And, of course the deductible will change the outcome and some will offer different ranges, one being 1k, 5k, 10k and another being 1, 2, 5 etc. After speaking with the agent more in depth, though, the quote is only an estimate and the end result will be based on data provided by NFIP directly (generally being within dollars of a good estimate)

Flood Insurance Quotes can vary, even with the same deductible/coverage amount. But the end result would be the same with any agency. So average the quotes for a good estimate.

I've been seeing a girl for the last few months and everything has been going great. All of the feelings seem to be reciprocated in both directions. Talking about the next step/exclusivity, we agreed that it's defintely exclusive but she mentioned that I can't just assume her and the title of girlfriend without asking, due to her old fashioned nature. I don't have an issue with it, just not quite sure how to bring it up/ask without sounding like a 4th grader...

Girl I've been seeing for the last few months made it abundantly clear that I can't assume she's my girlfriend and that I'd need to ask for it...how do I go about doing so?

So my mom passed away about 3.5 years ago, my dad then started dating Sarah, I immediately got a weird vibe from her back then but just ignored it. When we all first met my dad had brought her to a family gathering along with her children. We tried to converse with her but she wasn't having it, anytime someone would get close to her she would move her and her family away from us. My father asked me that night what I thought of her and I stupidly said that she seemed nice but shy, instead of what I really thought. Slowly my father has started pulling away from everyone but me. Which has caused some problems with the other half of my family including my brother and 3 other sisters. So now everyone ignored each other but anytime I talk to them they're always asking if I've spoken to my dad and then get mad when I tell them yes. I will mention that they don't even try to call him either. They blame her. Anyway, recently as in the last month or so Sarah has managed to get my phone number and is constantly calling and texting me her issues with my dad. I've kindly asked her to stop to which she does for a while and then she starts up again. She says he works too much and that he's passive aggressive and childish. When she's the one that's blasting him all over Facebook for the world to see. She's also a family and marriage counselor. He had a couple weeks of vacation he had to take and he came to visit me in the state I live and she got pissed that he didn't spend it with her, when he only stayed one day. I've tried to talk to him about it but he always skips over it and changes the subject to something else. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm at my wits end here.

Mom passed away, dad got a new girlfriend, dads only speaking to me out of my whole family, dads gf calling and texting me about their relationship issues, don't know what to do anymore, I've tried talking to him and her.

Not quite a horror story either, but I was on a flight from Portland, OR to Chicago (about 4 hours) next to a rather large woman with a thick southern accent. I was sitting in the aisle seat, and her in the middle. There was a man in the window seat, but I'm not sure if they were together or not. In order to fit comfortable in her seat, she had to lift the arm rests next to her. She was fairly large and her stomach started to ooze over into my space (maybe about 1/4 of the way into the seat), and was rubbing against my leg. So I squeezed over towards the aisle as far as I could, with the armrest on my left side poking into my side. I'm a fairly skinny guy (6' 3", about 165 pounds) so we didn't touch anymore. Seeing that I was in a pretty uncomfortable position, the lady turns to me and says "It's alright. I don't mind if our legs rub." Besides being creeped out by the possible innuendo, I replied with "I'm fine," and stayed in my little cramped position. This big lady then proceeds to yell and make a fuss about how I'm insensitive to big people because I don't want to touch them, etc. Flight attendants come over to see what's going on. They threaten to have her taken off the plane for essentially disturbing other passengers by not fitting into her seat and that she should have purchased two seats, etc. Essentially, I had to calm them all down, and tell them that I didn't mind, and stayed there jammed into 1/2 of my seat for an entire flight.

Fat woman sat next to me, and got offended that I didn't want to rub legs with her. She threw a fit. (Wait... fat woman... throw a "fit"... Oh, me.)

been talking to girl 1 (19F) for a week and a half. she has stayed at my apartment every night since we met other than 2 nights. She really likes me and our personalities mesh well. Last night i met another girl (21F) and she came on to me hard, asked me to go out to a bar with her later that night and gave me her number. The 2nd girl looked a lot better( as bad as that sounds) and I would also like to get to know her before deciding on the first girl. I didn't tell the girl I met last night I was talking to anyone and didn't even text her to say I wasnt going out with her last night. The real reason I didn't go was because I made plans with girl 1 last already. So what can I say to girl 2 to hang out with her this week, or should I just focus on 1?

Trying to decide between a girl I just met last night and a girl i met a week and a half to go. Trying to get through it without being an asshole and ending up with neither.

Alright. So. I recently have been through a series of relationships. All of them have had their ups and downs. I started feeling this feeling in my gut that none of this was right and they all pretty much fell apart. I guess by a manner of down right stupidity I started talking to her again. There is a slew of backstory to our previous break up. She has always had confidence issues and it has always brought her down. She has really tough problems at home. She is home schooled and doesn't have a job or a car. Not only that but she is behind on her schooling as well. This finally got to everybody. I started becoming grumpy and everyone else around me could notice. We eventually broke it off after two years because of a very rough set of events that involved me being an awful person, tugging her around. Needless to say... We happened to start talking again and we still have strong feelings for each other even after so long. I don't know how to break it to my parents that we are again. They honestly hate her I believe. I really want to be able to do stuff around her. I really enjoy her company and I honestly am a lot stronger of a person now then I was before. [Edit] I suppose the best way to ask my question is... Is it wrong I feel the way I do about the relationship? If I am not then what is the best way I can find a way to inform my family?

I am thinking about getting back together with an ex girlfriend that we had a rough past with. Not sure if parents will approve at all

Almost the entire nightmare was in the third person, it only switched to first person right before I woke up. Last night, I dreamt that I was walking in the woods. It was the afternoon, as the sun was on its way down. Every tree and the grass was green, and there were these tiny pinkish flowers everywhere on both sides of the trail I was on. I walked into this clearing and saw a pile of freshly cut firewood. I walked closer and saw a black flipflop and a brown shoe. I immediately thought that it meant that someone or more than one person were burned there on that pile and that it was murder. I awoke to myself hyperventilating. I started thinking back into the dream about the forest that it took place in. I instantly realized that I had a dream there before that wasn't a nightmare. In the other dream, I was just walking through the forest, probably lost, but not worried or anything. Just extremely calm and enjoying the walk. I started thinking what this might mean, and if this was common, since I had never experienced it before or read anything similar.

I had a nightmare and a non-nightmare dream of a forest on different nights. I was wondering if this was common because I had never heard of it before.

Both of us have been disgruntled for the past couple of years so this really was inevitable. However, it is quite ironic that it is happening at the exact same time for both of us. Basically, we are the only two people in our department, so there will be no one to cover the job once we are gone. The funny thing is that our boss pretty much deserves this since he has screwed us both over on various occasions. But like I said I am not trying to make this end badly. How should be approach this scenario? I've thought about the old tag team method but I don't think that gives the right impression. Another fun bonus is this is that I was going to quit a few months ago and they counter offered me, but I didn't get the raise and was told it was denied by upper management. EDIT:

co-worker and I need to put in our 2 weeks tomorrow and I am curious to as how we should go about this to not make it look planned or anything like that.

First off, apologies if this isn't the correct subreddit for this, I wasn't sure if it should go here or r/sex. Anyway, I've been seeing a new girl that I am extremely interested in and attracted to for about a month now. I know I'm really into her and as best as I can tell she feels the same about me, and things have been going well between us. Last night I stayed over at her place for the first time, one thing lead to another and we tried having sex. And of course, for the first time in my life (outside of whiskey dick at least), I couldn't get it up. This has legitimately never been a problem for me, and in fact I find it even more frustrating because in my last relationship I had a much higher libido than my girlfriend and it created a rift between us. Now I'm seeing a new girl with a high libido who is very sex positive and I'm the one having problems, and I don't know how to handle it. I know I'm completely over my ex so there's nothing involving her that could be coming into play with this. I am on an anti-depressant that I've been taking for about six or seven months (citalopram) which my doctor informed me could have negative effects on my sex life, it just wasn't a big concern at the time cause I wasn't sexually active. I am going to talk to my doctor and see if there's something else I can be prescribed that won't impact my sex life at all, but in the meantime I'm just worried of how it's going to come off to the girl. She was understanding of the situation but I can tell it bothered her, and rightfully so. So basically, is there anything I can do to help alleviate this issue until I can get a new prescription and wait for it to start taking effect on me, would something like viagra or cialis help? And on top of that, what can I do to ensure my girl doesn't lose interest in me or form/hold some negative opinion over it?

Seeing new girl I really, really like. First time we try to have sex I can't get it up, then become really self conscious about it and worried how the girl in question is going to take it. Need halp.

Universal healthcare. My father was a doctor who had worked both in the private sector in the U.S. and public system in the Middle East. Because in our particular country the system is not well managed he compared the care provided there to the U.S. and decided the fact that it wasn't public here was the reason it was better so was incredibly against universal healthcare and I followed his lead. In the past few years though thinking about the fact that no one chooses to be born and there are an unacceptable amount of people out there going broke or simply just not trying to get the treatment they need because it's beyond their financial means is disgusting. The concept that because someone is born into relative wealth deserves healthcare while someone who is born into poverty will have to suffer because "oh they're just unlucky" gives me a visceral negative reaction.

father was a doctor against universal healthcare. Recently determined its the right thing considering what economic class you're born into shouldn't determine whether you can get the care you need.

This. I was once finishing up a 7 hour shift (fast food restaurant) and had been totally hungover the whole time (my own fault obviously). I felt like my head was going to explode. I put through an order for this woman and as I'm giving her her change she hands me over more money, expecting me to both magically remember her total and calculate the change in my head, which at that point was damn near impossible. When I try to say I've already put it through and give her back her change she just looks me up and down and says 'You should learn some maths'. She then stood there and condescendingly began to add up all the numbers and bitch at me as I tried to serve other customers.

Sometimes cashiers are hungover, and tired, and finishing their shifts, and don't want to try and figure out the change in their heads for your obscure order when there's other customers in the line.

Forgive me if this is too minor of a TIFU for this subreddit. My life is slightly boring. I am in my second week of working at a small firm that is heavily involved in the community, participating in local events, sponsoring charity, etc. We partner up with a lot of non-profit organizations, one of which is a homeless charity. The event coordinator over there is the sweetest woman in the world and works her butt off to make each event a success. Well, today, because sometimes I'm a moron, I got my boss to berate her for absolutely no reason. The flyer/mailer to promote an upcoming event should feature our logo prominently because we are the primary sponsor. When I saw the first proof of the flyer in my email, I saw that our logo was completely missing. My boss was planning on calling the charity anyway so I decided to have him ask about it the error during that call and kill two birds with one stone. My boss couldn't get her on the phone and left a voicemail lecturing her for not doing the flyer right. He was hesitant to say anything because he didn't want to sound like a dick for caring so much about his logo on something that is supposed to be for charity, but felt obligated considering the money we poured into it. Little did I know that the event coordinator had immediately sent me a second email with the correct flyer, apologizing for sending the wrong one and being as nice as she always is. Well, I didn't catch it in time. So that poor woman came back to her office to hear a voicemail from a guy irritated at her for something she didn't do. I manned up and confessed. He was pretty peeved but I didn't get the reaming I expected. Just a small lecture on the powers of observation. Dodged a bullet! That poor lady though...

Made a mistake, thought a super nice lady from a charity did it, blamed it on her, got my boss to yell at her instead of me.

there used to be this older dude that would come around and try to chil with any group he could. he was quite odd and we knew he had been in and out of jail for small break and enters and shit like that. he was in his 20s and i was like 16 or 17. one day he shows up with a big bag of dro and asked us if we had any papers and from that day on we would all meet up to match and he would tell us funny stories about being in the klink. so 2 months or so go by, of us chilling out and we all become friends with the guy. one day 2 of my buddies and i walk out the front door of the dchool to get on the bus and go (still in high school) and there is our new "friend" calling us over to a car that he was driving. told us to get in and he would take us back to the park. didnt think anything of it and jumped in. about half way home i decide i wanna have a smoke. i asked the dude if i could smoke in the car and of course he didnt have an issue with it. didnt have a lighter so i was looking for the car lighter (back when cars had lightes) and thats when i noticed the ignition ripped apart and a screw driver firmly shoved into it and turned over. i looked at the dude and asked if it was stolen. he just kinda smiled at me. like i said i enjoyed causing a bit of shit when i was younger but stolen cars was much bigger than me. after that we didnt chill with him anymore. and before the year was out he moved away.

ex friend picked me and a few buddies up from scool in a stolen car. he didnt tell us it was stolen. stopped chilling with him.

I only get so far and run away and I don't understand why. Most situations are completely in my favor, and I have even had people physically push me in the right direction. I don't know what to do at this point in my life because I have never had a sexual relation ship of any kind. Therefore I'm poor at reading body language, conversation, obviously zero sexual experience, I never know when acting is appropriate, just immature I guess. Everything else about my social life is completely normal tho, which boggles my mind. I'm not going to act like I'm the greatest looking or anything, but I'm happy with the way I look the the size of my junk, etc, my social life is normal and I have supportive friend. But the last situation, 1 of about 12 similar situations where I have been the one approached in the past 5 years, has me angry at myself and depressed as hell. Over the past month or so I've been trying to hook up with a girl who wants to be a bang buddy (according to her friend and suggested by two other mutual friends). Sound awesome, right? After about a week of knowing her, I was propositioned for sex and I bailed, then she gave me a chance at redemption and I managed to call her unattractive (I still can't figure out what I was thinking). And again, more recently, we were in bed, alone after I invited her over to watch a movie. She was flirting, playing, laughing and so on. She was either laying on top of me of trying to rub against me. I was to scared to make a move and after about 90 minutes, like a switch, she stopped acting flirtatious then started acting neutral and seemed more ready to sleep than anything. My actions that night, or lack there of, managed to blow the minds of two of my friends, again. Before I've been approached by girls at bars, clubs, parties, and school and I cant do anything other than act like a robot. To top it off, if there are a lot of people around I become dismissive and very angry, and have even asked them to leave. Even alcohol or other CNS depressants, have no effect. It feels like I'm not in control.

I physically cannot make myself enter sexual relationships, long term or one night stand. It's like I become a different person and at 24yo its hard to start from scratch.

This is my first post on this sub although I've dabbled a few times. I broke up with my ex around 6 months ago because she was moving to another state after college for an internship. We had been dating/sleeping together for roughly 5 months. I didn't think long distance would work out and towards the end of our relationship I kind of just lost intimate feelings for her. The problem for me is, this girl is awesome in so many different ways. She is smart, funny, speaks 4 different languages and has a quirky side that I've always admired. I was just never that sexually attracted to her. At first during our relationship this wasn't a problem for me. We were intimate and it was just okay. As the relationship progressed, our sexual chemistry started to bother me more and more and I know how selfish that sounds. So by the time she was moving away, I had my mind made up that I didn't want to continue a sexual relationship with her anymore and decided to cut off our relationship. After we break up I start to discover how strongly my ex felt towards me. We remained friendly and she would always want to talk on the phone or skype because she was feeling lonely in a new city. I would oblige because I generally feel like a dick blowing someone off when they seem to genuinely want to talk. In November she came back to visit for a weekend, and we hung out for a bit one Friday night. After a few drinks she tried to kiss me and I rejected her kiss, feeling extremely guilty that I had lead her on again and trying to explain myself. Later that night I got berated by one of her best friends for being a selfish asshole. Fast forward a couple months and she is moving back to the state I live in because her internship is over. We still talk regularly because I like having her as a friend, and she usually initiates conversation. Now I have no idea what to do. Do I continue to talk to her and risk leading her on or do I cut things off completely? I feel guilty of I agree to hang out with her because I don't know how she is interpreting our time together. I never feel like I'm leading her on when we talk or when we hang out but her friends seem to think otherwise. Any advice for what I should do?

Broke up with girlfriend because I wasn't attracted to her anymore. Feel guilty still communicating with her and seeing her because I don't want to lead her on. Want to remain friends because she is super cool.

Hey you know what I do when that happens? I snap my fingers at them and talk down to them like a little child or a small puppy. Challenge their chauvinism that makes them feel as though that is allowed. Maybe you shouldn't bitch at the bitch who knows how to control a man but maybe bitch at the bitch that allows herself to be gawked at. And again, if you are across the room/street/in another car etc. there is nothing you can do . Oh wait yes there is, you can scowl at them I'm sure THAT will make them stop.

you need to work on your people skills, you're failing pretty horribly right now and i can only imagine that you come off as megabitch when a guy finds you attractive

I preface this by saying I'm a dumb American, so this maybe completely wrong. British Parliament is the ruling body that oversees not only the good of the United Kingdom but also the good of all of the territories controlled by the UK. Thus in a world ruled by the Roman Empire we would presumably still have it's seat of power be in Rome, the 'Outer Territories' would need to have some say in how they are ruled and thus you would have representatives from What-Would-Have-Been-America,Canada, and numerous South American Countries. (More than likely it would be 10-15 representatives from America alone but we a simplifying here.) Furthermore British Parliament is has multiple different Houses. Some of them rely on elected officials others rely on the priory of the church, Assuming Roman Catholicism is still the religion of choice. And lastly it has a figured head, in Britain the Queen, in this case the Emperor. This is the person who is the end all be all but can't be tasked with making everyday small decisions and thus leaves this to lessening degrees of officials. (Think the Small Counsel from Game of Thrones for a very micro example.)

This is a system that leaves a semblance of control on the people while still reserving control of 2 of the 3 powers that rule under the purview of the emperor Emperor. PS- I am aware that this is an extremely rudimentary explanation, still on mobile. Sorry.

I've found myself in a really big dilemma. A little bit of background - I gave this relationship my all and he held back until recently. It was only 4 months ago he said he loved me, and hearing those words I've been waiting for so long, felt like nothing. I've been really lonely these past 5 years. My boyfriend and I have had multiple talks about how we both know that we're not the one for each other and that we're not very happy. However every time after one of these talks, we both get really emotional and we can't seem to let go and in some strange way we feel closer than before. Give it 2 weeks, and we're in exactly the same position. We're finding it really hard to let go of one another and it breaks my heart to do so. Every time I think about not being with him, I literally cannot get out of bed to go to class. But at the same time, I am miserable with him because I know he is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I feel like we have been in a relationship for so long that I don't know how to function being single. Does anyone have any advice that will make this process easier?

We're both unhappy in this relationship yet we still care for one another and can't seem to let go without having a break down. Help :(

Our neighbors are having to move out because the husband has Alzheimer disease and their house has to be gutted. They have been totally nice to us for 7 years and I feel horrible they are having to be completely uprooted like this. The wife left us a note pleading for us to take care of a cat and even offered $100 a month to do it, at least temporarily. The cat in question is 6 and female, our cat is 11ish and female sometimes a little feisty with our dog (or is pretty nice to cats, won't hurt them). I don't think we should question it more and just do it it. It seems beyond rude not to, problem is not sure if everyone in house will like the idea...the other cat and a human lol. Question is: how can I convince human to accept the idea and make sure the cats get along?

neighbor offering $100 month to care for cat, desperate. How can I convince my house to do it and make sure new cat gets along with my cat?

I used to be a manager for a pizza restaurant that offers delivery to its customers. One day one of the drivers I was responsible for returned with an order and said she couldn't find the address. The order became late as I informed the customer their order will be on its way and will arrive shortly. Afterwards I showed the driver where the address is and sent her away ASAP. When she returned, I told her "You're hand washing the dishes tonight." (the worst cleaning job in our restaurant) Already scared and docile, she obediently obliged to do the task. While she was scrubbing huge bulky trays that barely fit in the sink, I decided to angrily scold her for not doing what she was trained to do when such a situation happens with an address. The mad rant when on for about a minute. She never looked at me while I was yelling at her and by the time I was done, she was heaving and crying. I just thought about that day and I be like "Wow count_bezukhov, you're an asshole." Anyways if you're reading this and you're the one I scolded, I'm sorry for that awful shift.

I was a manager at a pizza place, an order was late, and I made the driver who was responsible hand-wash the dishes while I scolded them, rendering tears in their eyes.

Mine is that I once unknowingly lived on the same street at the SAME time as a girl with the exact same name as me. My name isn't common either - about a 6 or 7 on rareness scale (10 being one of a kind). Street name was also VERY rare (not like a Main Street or anything). I thought of this today because I was at the vet and they pulled up my name, and all her pets came up because there were two of us in the system! Similar things have happened at pharmacies, gyms, etc! In such situations, usually either they or I get annoyed because each of us thinks the other is crazy because my name doesn't match up with the info they have in the computer - it's always slightly off. A girl once actually came to my door, asked for me by name, even though I wasn't expecting anyone, and when she saw me freaked out and was like "you're not my friend omg!" It was SO weird. Said name doppelganger is now my facebook friend and we keep in touch. By FAR the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me.

I lived on the same street as a girl with my exact name at the SAME time (in a city of 8 million) and didn't know it. Name and street both uncommon

Like others have said, it depends on your goals. Your maximum heart rate is YOUR maximum heart rate. You probably know about the old 220-your age formula. This might be a good idea to find out the average max heart rate for individuals of a certain age, but it surly can't tell the max heart rate of an individual. Using myself as an example, I'm 28. So using the formula, my max would be 192. Well, it isn't. It is at least 204 and maybe even higher... And it varies. Some people have extremely high max rates of well over 220. Others have a max rate only in the mid hundreds. It is not a measure of fitness, endurance, speed or anything else. It is what it is. Now that is out of the way, there are various theories out the concerning how much you should be running at various heart rates. I like Jack Daniels, the exercise physiologist. He is very thorough and worth checking out. His book will help you determine your VDOT and he will tell you appropriate speeds and distances for your easy, tempo, interval and repetition runs. In principle, most of your running (like 70 percent) should be at an easy pace. And most runners run their easy runs too quickly. Easy pace is between 59 and 74 percent of HRmax. The other types of running are pretty intense and at a high heart rate. Tempo runs are between 83 and 88 percent of HRmax. Intervals (up to 5 minutes maximum) are between 95 and 100 percent of HRmax. Reps are not run based on HR. But they are fast and controlled, often at mile race pace, but for a max of 2 minutes for each workbout (with full recover). In general, tempo runs should total the lesser of 60 minutes or 10 percent of your weekly mileage. Intervals are the lesser of 10K or 8 percent. And reps are the lesser of 5 miles or 5 percent. Unless you are running high-mileage, your percentage values will certainly be a lot lower. For example, a runner doing 20 mpw will limit their tempo runs to 2 miles (which doesn't include the warm up and cool down which are performed at easy pace), intervals to 1.6 miles of interval training (so maybe 6x400, for example), and reps to 1 mile (8x200).

Most running should be easy. About 20 to 25 percent of your weekly running should be at a high heart rate if you wish to make great strides in your fitness. Buy Daniel's Running Formula for more fun times!

My ex and I have a friendly relationship, we were friends and hooked up in the army a few times that had an unintended consequence. We didn't ever try for an actual relationship outside of being friends so that if things went badly our son wouldn't suffer. Now to understand fully I got out earlier than she did got a very good paying job even if it has long hours on top of us living a large distance away. I do my best to stay apart of my sons life, I spend at least 30-45 minutes on the phone reading to him before he goes to bed do skype and video calls and anything else I can do since I don't get to see him as often as I want. I am currently even paying for her to go to college and live off of so that she can save her GI bill for when she is getting her masters. The issue is she has a new boyfriend which I'm fine with and happy for her to have someone. My main request has always been if she is in a relationship do not introduce him to our son unless the relationship lasts over 6 months. This is the first time she has broken that by telling me she let her boyfriend of 3 months move in after he lost his job...I couldn't really tell her not to but I said do not expect more money for me to support him, she was understanding and that was the last of it. He does not like that we are in contact at all even though it is mostly 2-3 minutes chatting before I read to my son at night or if something happens to him things like that. So just recently I wasn't able to get a hold of her for a few days I panicked. In the past 4 years of reading to my son at night never once have I missed a night. I figured maybe she was busy the first night but after 2 nights in a row I took a few days off of work and flew up to see her in a panic. Surprisingly she was fine and so was our son turns out her boyfriend had blocked my number in her phone as well as deleted it. This is in no way acceptable to me, I am not sure how to make her aware of HOW angry I am over this and that I do not want to risk something like this happening again.

Ex who I have a child with has new boyfriend who moved in, doesn't like we talk ever and blocked me from her phone deleted me from her contacts. How should I be nice but let her know this is completely unacceptable.

Hey Everyone, I'm going to try to make this short cause ive got an exam tomorrow. I met a girl at a party about a month ago. We've been hanging out almost every weekend since. Last weekend we had sex (lost my virginity.) Probably too early, but whatever. We were talking, and I told her that I wanted a serious relationship not just a FWB kind of deal. She told me that she wasnt ready for a serious relationship, and she doesnt know what she wanted. The thing is we have hung out after this, and every time we hang out i like her more and more. Last night, i even dreamt of her... Im trying to hold back my feelings and be cool about it, but its not working. When I daydream its mostly about her. I guess, im asking for advice regarding not getting attached because i know if this continues im just going to get hurt in the end.

Met girl. Lost my virginity. Start develop feelings. She tells me she doesnt want anything serious. I cant stop thinking about her. How do I stop?

The only person I've ever been fearful of initiating contact with was my (now) husband. I just respected and admired him more than anyone I'd ever met. So, he ended up having to make the moves where normally I would have. Turns out, he felt the same way so things moved very slowly indeed but that was exciting and awesome. First 'move' he made: we were alone at his place watching a movie. He was on one side of the couch and I was on the other. I sort of half laid down with my head nearer to him. He put a pillow in his lap and said, "you can lay your head here if that's more comfortable". I did and I pretty much don't remember the rest of the movie. He gave me a pretty good hug when I left. A few days later, we're walking around downtown and have to cross the street, he put his hand out for me to take it and I totally melted. Finally after weeks of little things like this, we're laying outside talking, he's up on an elbow and I'm on my back. He asks if he can kiss me. I have to say, the extreme slowness (compared with other relationships) was amazing BUT he had to be the one to make all these tiny moves. He was scared out of his head that I'd reject him which is why he did these small things first before even kissing me. Maybe this would work for you. Then if there's discomfort or rejection, you're not being rejected during an attempted kiss (AWKWARD) and you can slowly re-evaluate your situation without the extreme embarrassment. Good luck! I'm actually excited for you-

Maybe try very small intimacies first, like putting your hand out for her to take it when crossing a street - see if she takes the bait and slowly use that to gain confidence for bigger things

My ex-bf and I were together for a little over a year and recently broke up because he had some personal stuff to deal with. We ended on good terms and we're still friends. Lately though, I've been thinking of having a FWB relationship with him. We talked about this but jokingly because we couldn't immediately be FWB right after we broke up. Neither of us have intentions of getting back together and we're both single so there's no third party complications. The only thing that's stopping me from pursuing a FWB relationship is this thing called self respect. He was a good bf but took me for granted and in the time that we've been apart, he's realized that he let a good thing slip away (he told me this himself and his friends have told me). So if we're FWB, then I don't want it to be like him satisfying his physical needs while not learning from his mistakes because then he'd be in a relationship minus the emotional part (which was what he wanted...). At the same time, I need to have sex. Other info that might be important: we were both virgins before we were together so we didn't have to worry about STI's and I was on birth control so we barebacked it. The reason why I don't want to find someone else to be FWB with is that I don't want to go through the trouble of meeting someone, feeling comfortable with them, and then trusting that they don't have any STI's. Another thing is that I'm not viewing sex as a way to emotionally connect with him. I'm just horny.

Ex-bf and I ended on good terms but now I’m horny and want to have sex. He is my preferred option over another friend/stranger because I trust him and we had great sex when we were together.

I was born in Russia but have been living in the States for the past 10 years. 2 years ago I visited my home town near Moscow for about a month. It actually made me feel really depressed being there after the 2nd week. It's pretty ghetto and the buildings are old and often smell like piss. People just look very sad in general, no one says hi to strangers on the street. Also I just didn't feel safe walking alone after dark at all, I got groped walking from my grandmas to my friend's home midday. It's true that people drink a lot, and it can be kind of comical but for the most part its just sad. The worst thing for me was when I went to Moscow (which is actually pretty westernized and not so bad to visit but very expensive to live in) I saw many legless/armless veterans sitting in the metro and begging, and my friend told me to not give them any money because they are part of the mafia where they cut off these men's legs on purpose to make them look like war veterans. In addition they impregnate women and then tie their bellies with belts so that the children are born deformed and can be used as beggars. That totally killed it for me.

Russia is really fucking depressing, would not want to go back to live there Some good things are that the food can be good and Russians value friendship a lot

So wall of text here (sorry, my story might be a little long) 19/M here. There is this girl (19/F right now) that I've known since high school that I've had a thing for starting around senior year. So we get really close and flirt constantly during school. She's was in the school's ROTC program and so I went with her to their ball, and then during prom we were inseparable. We graduate and I go to college and she going the National Guard. around the end of the school year I start thinking about her again, and decide to write her a letter while she's in basic essentially telling her how I felt. I get a letter back saying how the feelings were shared. The school year ends and I get back home, when her step-mom invites me to a surprise party for her return home. At the party her and I don't leave each others side while doing the whole holding hands thing. Latter that night I go with her and a friend to waffle house around midnight and hang out. She mentions how she's not wanting to date anyone for a while (I make a mental note about that). I text a couple of days latter and we decide to meet up for coffee (I don't know if it was a date or not) but we end up getting lunch and walk around town, again physical contact was there. Last thursday, those last events happened in the same week, I host a party with a bunch of friends and she comes. It gets late and her and some of my friends go inside and watch a movie. During it she sits next to me under a blanket and lays her head on my shoulder while running her fingers on my arm and such. What I don't know is does she like me and just wants to wait a while before getting into a relationship, or is this just me being "friendzoned" in the most cruel of ways?

Girl I like is really physical with flirting when it comes to me, but doesn't want to date anyone at the time. Am I being impatient or is there something else going on?

My girlfriend is going to kill me if she knew I told anyone this but here it goes. This is similar to OP's story but we were driving to an amusement park with her whole family. Her mom and dad were in the front seat and her brother and two sisters were in the back seat and me and her were in the middle seat (it was a minivan). Anyway she was "cold" so we grabbed a blanked and she started wacking me off under the blanket spontaneously. Now, we were literally less than 4 feet away from every single person in her family and we were only dating a few months at the time. She continues and the who minivan is completely silent besides the air conditioning which was enough to drown out the sound of the movement that was taking place under the blanket. She kept going and after a while I was about to finish. Of course, right when it began to happen her mom turned around, LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES AND ASKED ME A QUESTION. I tried to remain calm, cool and collective but all I remember doing is staring at her, mid-orgasm, and making this unintentional, creepy smile and said yeah. She didn't seem to notice anything was up but there was absolutely no fucking way she didn't realize what was going on. If matters weren't worse already, my girlfriend decided to use one of her friend's socks that was left in the van to catch my mangurt. OP, I feel your pain.

My girlfriend jerked me off under a blanket in a car with her whole family, as I splooged I made eye contact with her mom and failed to make a non-suspicious face, then I came in her friend's sock..

Throwaway because he's on reddit. My boyfriend often (maybe twice a month) hangs out with a girl he knows from back at home - lunch, giving her a rides, helping her move etc. I've never had a problem with this - I've met her and she's lovely. In fact, I've always been more than happy that they hang out on a regular basis because my BF gets homesick and has a hard time making friends. However, I found out a few months ago from a mutual friend that they used to date and I was pretty mad/upset. Initially, I was upset not because he hangs out with an ex, but because he failed to tell me that they used to be involved. He may have kept it from me to avoid hurting my feelings but honestly, I would have rather if he was honest and have me find out from him, rather than someone else. To be honest, I feel betrayed and have lost a little trust in him. My BF is still friends with his other exes and I know he talks to them, though I don't know how often. I thought I was okay with this because he's a sweet guy (an ex you'd still want to be friends with, if that makes sense) but I'm starting to think this isn't the case any more. We've been doing LDR for the summer, and I had a lot of things going on with my life, which is why I hadn't confronted him about this sooner. I'd also much rather have this conversation in person. Honestly, a week after finding out about this, I barely thought about it as I was busy and had a lot on my plate. Now that things have calmed down and we'll be together in a few days, I've been thinking about it more and more, and it bothers me. Other than this, our relationship has been great - we're both emotionally reserved which is probably our biggest problem because its sometimes difficult to communicate things to each other but we're both trying our best, I think. Am I overreacting? How do I go about confronting him about this? And is it fair for me to be bothered by the fact that he still keeps in contact with all of his exes because of this one incident?

Recently found out that a girl my boyfriend hangs out with regularly is actually an ex of his. Don't know whether I'm overreacting or how to confront him about it.

Because it's a great stress reliever. Had a bad day? Go tell a kid on a Counterstrike role playing server that his parents don't love him. Have an entirely senseless argument with a stranger even if you know you're wrong, but word it in a way that makes it seem like you know what you're talking about despite the fact that your "opponent" is clearly more experienced with the subject you're arguing about. It's especially fun on reddit when you get more upvotes and appear to be "right" to the general

population while the guy you're arguing with is at -40 karma for his comments. Just knowing you've pissed off that one user and tricked everyone who upvoted you into thinking you're right means you're super smart and have a huge penis.

Can we logically assume that alien life both knows about us, and doesn't care about us? That question is likely not as eloquent as I'd like it to be, so I'll attempt to describe the thoughts that lead up to it (sorry, this is long). The human race has been searching for intelligent life for some time now. As technology evolves, our ability to expand our view of the universe and search the surrounding celestial bodies continues to grow. Where we once just saw galaxies, we can now see the detail of stars. And where we once just saw stars, we zoomed in further to see planets. And now, we calculate which planets just might be inhabitable by humans or carbon-based lifeforms. We're now only at the start of those discoveries, with many many more likely to follow in the trajectory of human & technological evolution. With that evolution in mind, I thought about [Neil deGrasse Tyson's discussion of how we're 1% removed from Chimpanzee DNA (and intelligence)]( - and how any intelligence 1% removed from us must look at us like chimps, and so on. The challenges we face in mapping the universe, its galaxies, stars and planets - are likely a breeze for these other advanced alien species. In fact, they've probably mapped the entire multi-verse, and also predicted where ALL advanced life is. So conclusions up to this point: Alien life exists, has mapped the universe, and predicted where all advanced life exists- including Earth. One more: That same predictive modeling can predict/guesstimate how quickly and perhaps where we advance. This leads me to one conclusion/theory: The aliens know about us, regardless of contact. Either they have no ability to reach us. Or (and this is my theory), they do (given their other advances) and we are neither a threat, nor interesting/intelligent enough for them to do so. Lastly, this could be concluded as a good thing (we're not a threat to ourselves or anyone else); or a bad thing (we're hopeless). What are your thoughts on this, Reddit?

Making logical assumptions about advancements in evolution & science, I think alien life knows about Earth & human civilization- and doesn't think we're worth engaging, for whatever reason. What do you think?

I am a second year computer science major at Boston College and I am unsure what I need to learn to get a job in any programming field. I feel like by the time I graduate I won't have half the experience I need to grab a job in a field. Are most jobs you get the type where you need some background knowledge, or at least intelligence, and you learn on the job? Or do you need to know practically everything in that area first? I also want to know whats a good language to know for pretty much any programming job. Right now my programming experience is Java, MIPS (assembly language), C, and I learned Flash's Actionscript on my own. By the time my education wraps up I'll know more about algorithms, security, datamining, and operating systems. I also took two logic courses designed for CS and Discrete Mathematics. Will this prepare me for a generic job? What kind of internship can I expect with what I know? I know the stuff you need to know for jobs varies a lot depending on what you do, but what are good examples of a job one could get right out of college? Thanks in advance for the help!

What's a good language to know for any generic job? Do you learn on the job, or should you have a lot of experience when applying? What's an example of a lower-level computer science job?

So I've been with my girlfriend for a while now, and obviously each of us has his/her own history of sexual relationships, which we haven't completely disclosed with each other, mainly because we find it sort of embarrassing/awkward to talk about. I completely trust her and all, and this has nothing to do with suspicions of infidelity. It's just that STIs are becoming an increasingly dangerous issue, namely HIV. Anyways, so we've had unprotected sex. Like I mentioned, I don't know her complete history of sexual relationships, and I don't know how to bring it up. So here's what I ask of you reddit: How could I ask her about her past sexual partners without sounding like an outrageously jealous boyfriend? Also, how could I ask her to have STI testing done? I pretty much need a way to sugar-coat all of this, because it's not just for my sake, but her's as well.

Not 100% of my girlfriend's past sexual partners, and I think having STI testing would be a "better safe than sorry" path. How could I ask that of her without sounding like an OCD douchebag? Thanks guys

I'm in high school and I play in the orchestra. My stand partner, who is also my ex-girlfriend (pretty recent), is super pretentious and annoying. Can't believe that I dated her. Anyway, one thing she loves doing is obnoxiously writing things in the sheet music if I play something wrong. If I play a note too sharp, she'll draw a down arrow above the note. If I play something too loud she'll underline the "piano" marking. But today she went all out. There was this really repetitive part of the music today and during it, some of the notes deviate from their typical pattern. So when I played the wrong notes, she took out her pencil and makes these two MASSIVE parentheses around the measure in question. She looked pretty smug. But then an idea creeped into my head. The next time we rehearsed that spot, not only did I play the incorrect notes, I found the most dissonant interval possible and played it VERY loud. It sounded disgusting. The look on her face was priceless. She was visibly upset. Score one.

Orchestra stand partner and also ex-girlfriend tries to insult my playing skills by passive aggressively writing in the sheet music, gets blasted by my horribly dissonant and out of tune playing the next time around.

Hey all, so I have been single for the better part of a decade and been with countless women, always avoiding commitment cause I knew they werent the right one, but I still wanted to have sex so I just had a bunch of random sex over the course of the past 10 years. Because of internet porn addiction and sleeping with countless women that havent meant anything to me, the sex just kept getting harder and rougher with all my random lays. I recently had a girl I dated and all we did was just have animalistic rough sex and I just figured that was my style. Until, I met the girl I just asked to be my girlfriend last night. On the first date I knew she was the one. Beautiful, smart, educated, and witty as hell. She was the perfect girl for me and I really respect her. But, something happened the first time we hooked up. I couldnt get it up. I couldnt and didnt want to have the normal aggressive sex with her because I respect and care about her way too much. So, in order to get my dick working again I have quit internet porn, stopped having rough sex, and being more emotional. Now it gets me rock hard to tell her how much I care about her in bed, when before it would be just amping up the hardcoreness of the sex. Im wondering if anyone else has any experience with this type of situation, I would really like to get my sex drive back in proper order to have sex on command rather than this sporadic on/off sex depending on when my penis wants to work. Thanks for the help.

My dick has stopped working somewhat because I am actually in love with the woman I am sleeping with and I need to fix this.

My dad died 9 years ago, and my mum was left ccompletely alone and stuff. So, somehow, she wound up in an extramarital affair with this married guy, and has been in it for the past 4 years. I know that you all will scream about the morality, etc etc but she and I went over it already, that led to a very big rift in our family and basically nothing could deter her because both, she and the guy were equally invested and he did genuinely love her. Mum wasn't very demanding, she didn't ask him to leave his wife because if their affair came to light, he would lose his job. Basically what happened here is that his wife is now suspicious, and out of fear of that, he has cut off all contact with mum. For my mum, its like losing my dad again. My question is not about the morality of it all, neither am I looking for criticism about my mum. She was really lonely and while what she did was wrong, he did emerge as a companion for her and now that he's pulling away, mum is lonely, depressed and confused again. How do I help her cut loose from him, and how do I help her move on?

mum's married boyfriend is leaving her for his wife and she is going into depression again, how do I help her get through it? No judgement or hate for my mom, please.

Honestly I dont think there is a big plan behind what they are doing. If you ask me, "some men just want to watch the world burn" pretty much sums up everything that is going on. America shits on its own people with the NSA, military police and god knows what else is coming (probably a full blown war on its own soil if anything happens in Syria). The middle east is no better with their leaders going insane with torture, corruption and who knows what else is happening there. People are crying for democracy on one side yet treats their fellow countrymen like animals and on the other side people are advocating for religion yet they don't know the first thing about what their religion stands for. The economic crisis has ruined countless lives all across the world (and I refuse to believe that it was cause by a set of unfortunate circumstances. Things are going wrong everywhere and the people in charge act like they care but does nothing to stop it. If they do decide to act, then usually what they have acted on causes more problems than solutions (obamacare for example).

some men just want to watch the world burn' sums up whats going on and there is no big reason beyond causing chaos and hate

Me: 19f Him: 20M Dating 1 year I know this post my seem a little shallow, but he promised me he would take me out and get me a gift being as he forgot. I, on the other hand, really thought about my gifts to him and wasn't cheap about it (note, I'm typically very cheap and save money). I got him a nice knife and a nice, long massage (he was in an accident a few years ago and massages help). When midnight hit I jumped up, went straight to my bag and pulled out the gifts for him, excited to give it to him. He was excited about the gifts then realized what was going on. I was pretty sad, not because he didn't have anything for me, but because he completely forgot. This is my first relationship, so I was really excited about this part of a relationship. I am not a materialistic person. I would rather have a nice romantic night, something cliché like a moonlight dinner on the beach, instead of an expensive gift. Just anything for him to show he loves me and loves having me in his life. He promised me he would take me out to a nice dinner and get me a gift when he had the money. I agreed, knowing he was in a tough spot. The following weeks, HE would say things to me to reassure me that he hasn't forgotten and is planning something special. His financial situation has improved, but I still haven't seen any effort to keep his promise. I haven't reminded him of it, but it really is effecting me. He has since purchased some expensive items and it's starting to irritate me. Like I said, I know this may sound shallow... but I would just really love for him to at least do something to show that he values me in his life. My gifts to him were my way of showing I appreciate him, love him in my life, and that I'm happy I'm with him. I would really like to talk to him about this but I don't know where to start. Any advice?

Boyfriend of a year has not yet given me an anniversary gift after promising me he would, it's been 4 months. Patience is running out.

I have 5 dogs, 2 of which are large rescue pit-bulls which have both learned to let themselves in and out the back door. (Our other dogs are too small to attempt this. Just about 2 weeks ago they got this idea that if they could open the back door... the bedroom and the bathroom door they could open the front door as well. In the 3 years we have had one of them she has never attempted this, we've had the other for a year. Simple solution... turn the padlock on the door and they wont escape...... no, of course it cant be that easy. One of them (not sure which) has learned to UNLOCK the pad lock (its a twist lock) OPEN THE DOOR... and escape. This is the pad lock now... This is the trap we have They are terrified of the water bottle Culprits Besides changing the door knob on the front door... an taping it shut is there any sort of child proof lock that would go on this sort of knob? I have only been able to find ones for circular knobs.... Has anyone else had this problem before? I feel like since we have never really pay much attention to them letting themselves out the back door they don't think they are doing anything wrong.

Dogs are escape artists and unlock the padlock and can open the door and let themselves out the door, looking for a child lock for this door knob.

My ex-boyfriend left me while I was 3 weeks into my recovery from getting a non-cancerous brain tumor removed. He made himself believe that the tumor was his fault because he was the one who pushed me to go to the doctor in the first place. In reality, I probably had it growing most of my life. I feel betrayed since I gave he the option to leave when I was first diagnosed. He told me he would be there for me. I even scheduled my surgery later then I wanted to, so he would not have to cancel a trip with his friends. We were living together and he kicked me out as well. I was not suppose to lift anything until I was cleared by my doctor, but I had 5 days to get out of our apartment. The more I think about things, I was just a huge inconvenience to him. He lied all the time telling me I was his priority. I did everything for him, cooked, cleaned and did his laundry.

I am trying to figure out my healing and what is next for me. Anyone have any guidance on how to pick up the pieces after something like this?

There is a girl I met once last spring. I haven't seen her until a lot recently. And by seen, I mean that I see her at the gym with her boyfriend. However, whenever she sees me, we have lingering eye contact. Needless to say, I believe the attraction is there. She has a boyfriend of 2 or 3 years and usually works out with her, but I catch her looking at me a lot of the time. In fact, once she was playing basketball wearing a long shirt and she lifted up it all the way up to her sports bra and sort of just left it there and looked at me to see if I was looking. Later, her boyfriend kissed her and then she looked at me and she wiped it off. What does this mean?

girl in relationship has been showing me a lot of interest including long eye contact, lifting shirt up, wiping away kiss from boyfriend, and just overall gazing whenever we cross paths.

Been with this girl for two years, everythings great, communications easy, sex keeps getting better and everything is peachy. I come from a very loving family with very very few rows or confrontations, whereas hers is the opposite. Her dad has anger issues and is abusive and her mum is an alcoholic, though she's lovely when she's sober. I've never really clicked with her dad and he's been a real prick to everyone in the family. Blowing up for no reason, pouring water over the mums head in the middle ofthe night. While i didnt like what he was doing in the slightest i tried to keep an open mind because he's my SO's dad and our families are just polar opposites. This weekend however my SO told me that when she was 15 her dad went berserk and I assume beat everyone but he definitely hit my girlfriend. Now obviously this makes me beyond angry, but I still have to see him over Christmas. Everytime I think about going over to the parents house I just get this image of my SO being punched and flying across the room defenseless and it makes my blood boil. He's apparently swung for her again, most recently about 6 months ago but she just stayed at mine. Can any one give me any insight in to how I can deal with this? I'm just so unused to any confrontation, physical or verbal in families. Also how do I support my SO whenthis could easily happen again?

so's father is physically abusive, known for a while he has anger problems but only just found out he's hit my SO. How do I deal with being in the same room as him and how do I support my SO?

So we've been dating for 3.5 years, and she's been a great girlfriend. I feel like I can't be myself around her even though she tries to make sure I am happy and can do what I want. The thing is, I know she has expectations about what I should do and how I should react to things, so when I do something unexpected, she does something subtle that she knows makes me feel emotionally guilty. I feel very shoehorned into acting a certain way around her, and it's really difficult to feel natural around her, even though she goes out of her way to do things for me and tries to be interested in the things I am. Additionally, I am significantly more independant than she is. She hates being alone, but all of her friends have moved away, so I'm all she has. At least 75% of the time, however, I prefer to be alone. I don't dislike being around her or other people, but I only feel really happy/natural when I'm by myself. But wanting to be alone isn't why I want to break up with her. I just feel like we are not fundementally compatible. Our relationship feels extremely superficial. She doesn't seem to enjoy in-depth conversations about anything, and any time I try to offer criticism or debate something, she gets overly defensive. I feel so restricted with her even though I know she's trying to make sure I'm always comfortable. One last thing that bothers me quite a bit, but is a little irrational, is that she just doesn't open up to me about anything and she acts very secretive often. She always makes sure I can't see her computer screen/phone, she won't tell me what her GPA in college was (she says 4.0, but I know she's lying), and she just has a way of acting shady. I definitley don't suspect her of cheating, so don't read it like that. It's just small things that she does that make her not trustworthy, even if I don't have concrete evidence that she's lying or hiding things - it's just in the way she acts. I was going to break up with her several times, but she's constantly telling me how she wants to be with me forever and how she loves me so much. But I'm just fed up with it. I think I'm going to start visibly cringing every time she says "I love you". She hasn't done anything wrong. In fact, she's done pretty much everything right. I just really don't want to be with her anymore, but I know that I will break her heart as soon as I end it, and I won't be able to give her a reason that will offer her any solace. What the heck should I do?

I want to break up with my objectively great girlfriend of 3.5 years, but it's hard to articulate why, and I don't know how I will explain it to her even if I can muster the will to do it.

Be open to what you are willing to do. I was in a similar situation and end up just applying for jobs and got a call centre role. It was entry level but i worked hard and found that they really appreciated people who put in more than the "min wage" effort and was able to snatch a few promotions.

Basically take whatever job you can get and work really hard and keep looking for opportunities. Also why cant you use a hecs debt to help you study at uni while you work part time?