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Been hanging out with a girl for about 3 months, we're really close, talking nonstop everyday, had sex, have alot in common. I fell in love, she doesnt want a relationship. But she wants to stay as close friends, just like how it is. How do I deal with this? For now I talked to her and said I can't deal with this so we got no contact at all for a few days, so I can figure things out. I dont want to shut her out of my life, she's the closest friend I got and its nice to have someone supporting you. She told me multiple times "Please dont leave me, consider getting in contact with me again and if you wanna keep being close" Ofcourse I want that, even if its only as a friendship and nothing more. How do I get over her , in a romantic way so to say. First time I ever really cared about someone else so this is all new to me.

Fell in love for the first time, she wants to stay really close friends but does not want a relationship. How do I get over her?

So fun story, I got some of those turbi towels a few years ago. (They have a scrunchy bit on them and they are shaped to fit over your hair so you can wrap up wet hair after you get out of the shower so it can dry a bit and stay on your head unlike a bulky regular towel) At the time I also had a sortof rude roommate who would throw my stuff on the floor a lot. So I'm on the phone with a friend who is having some minor crisis (probably boy related) and I'm trying to make her laugh while puttering around after my shower. I grab my turbi towel off the floor of the bathroom (thanks roomie!) and wrap up my wet hair and feel something tickle my neck. No big, piece of hair escaped, continue conversation. So we're chatting and I'm wandering around the house and I feel another tickle. And another. And another right in a row. I reach up to brush the hair off my neck and THUD a spider of MASSIVE proportions falls off my neck and onto the table in front of me. As an independent and mature young adult I immediately freak out and beat the creature to a squishy pulp while screaming like a banshee. I have concluded that my roommate saw the giant spider, freaked out, threw my towel over it and then didn't tell me.

picked my towel off the floor to wrap my hair and unknowingly let a spider crawl on my neck for 5+minutes before it fell off and met its untimely demise.

I started hooking up with this guy a little while ago, a really nice dude that I got along with really well. We had nothing in common at all, but could talk for hours about everything and we have the same goofy-but-mature vibe going on I suppose. We both liked each other but had to keep it light cuz there was a post-graduation expiration date. He ended it after a few weeks but we decided to stay friends. We talked about it twice, where he admitted that he thought I liked him more/would expect more from him after we graduated and ended it early because he didn't want to hurt me by not wanting the same thing, and he thought it would be better if we weren't romantically involved "for now". But he said that he really wants to keep in touch even though we haven't known each other for that long (about 2 weeks before we started hooking up) because he enjoys talking to me and doesn't feel that way about a lot of people. He said he likes me as a person and cares about what happens to me in the future, and got mad at me when I questioned him, telling me adamantly that I just had to trust that he meant what he said. I know it sounds like he's feeding me lines, but we talked about this for three hours and I really do believe him when he says he cares. I told him that I wanted to keep in touch too but I didn't know if I could because I still liked him while he obviously had managed to set all of that aside, so he said he would leave it up to me. I really do want to, he's such a great guy, but I know now is not the time for that. But I don't want to cut him out or ignore him and make him feel like the things he said didn't mean anything to me because they do. Is it rude if I wait a few months to contact him? Do I need to tell him that that's what I want to do or can I just drop him a line to say hi later on?

Ex-hookup broke off our arrangement out of concern for me, but is keen on staying in touch and remaining friends. I think I need to take some time before this can occur. How do I go about this?

Let me know if this is the wrong place to submit this. Currently recruits for Sungevity but was recently approached by the company I work for to hire some Devs and project managers. This would be her first freelance gig and she is does not want to mess it up. However, she is running into a ton of problems with the normal sourcing sites for the tech community (her background can be seen on the linkedin page I want bother gong over it but lets say it is not in technical sourcing.) The main issue is that these sites want her to pay for a membership in order to source from them. Is there anyway around that? What are good free sourcing sites for the tech community she could use? What should or can she do to sound like she knows what she is talking about? Honestly, the CEO gave her a list of tech requirements the candidate should be proficient in but she wants to be natural and not like a robot asking questions. She currently is obtaining some clients from her normal avenues but she and I both think there are better resources out there.

Wife just got her first freelance recruiting gig. She knows nothing about the tech industry but does not want to say no. What are some good tips or sites she can source from for free that will have good tech candidates on it?

In one of my classes, there's this chick that on the first day threw the biggest bitch fit about how I wasn't actually assigned to the group. Everybody, professor included gave zero fucks. She's like this trust fund yuppie; has the latest iPhone 5 whatever champagnah, Windows 8 tablet computer, designer clothes and shoes that I can't pronounce. The works. Well, this girl decides not to participate in said group for a project we presented today at the beginning of the semester. She gave us a bad email to start, then her new email worked, but she wouldn't email us back... yada yada. Just no contact. Our first twenty classes, she showed up to four. My university has a policy that you can only miss two classes without a valid excuse before the professor has the option to fail you; the prof actually asked middle of the class where she has been when handing back papers. Each time she actually showed, she'd look at us and bolt out the door as soon as class ended. One of the other girls in our group has her in another class the same fucking days, and she shows up to that one consistently, but of course avoids all eye contact. We complained and told our professor all of the issues with her, and considering her attendance, he promised not to dock us because of her. We just have to keep him updated. The professor must have said something to her about her class and group participation, because suddenly, she starts to care about her grade last week. We give her a few things to do, and she didn't get back to any of us until late last night. Project is due today, I didn't see her email before going to bed, so this morning I start trying to slap together shit because of her, and I realize she didn't do her portion at all. She sent me shit we already did . Whatever. It's too late, I email the professor the project, explain who did what, and that she just redid a portion that we already did and was turned in previously. Each time something was first, she'd miraculously show up to class, and I'd only let her out her name down after everybody else, which irked her. We go up to present, and she's looking all smug, telling us that she had this and that and blah. The sour look on her face was worth it when she saw that I put her name, once again, dead last on the PowerPoint.

girl refuses to participate in a class and group project, is going to fail and only gets mad when I feed her her parents in a bowl of sweet, sweet chili.

Hello all, As mentioned in title: I plan on attending a coding bootcamp, and thinking about taking out a personal loan to cover expenses. This will be my first time taking out a personal loan, would appreciate advice on how to proceed. I am planning on looking into Peer-to-peer lending or credit unions. Do they ask at the time of application what the loan is for or are they more concerned with whether or not I could pay it? A bit about me: 32yo, currently working as an admin assistant in social services, tax status-single, no kids. Went through a divorce 3 years ago - left the relationship with $17 to my name (which is why I stuck with my current job to pay off debt and build up savings – currently now at $5,000 yay! :] ). I have been looking into learning how to program/web development in the last few months and have decided to go for it and apply to coding bootcamps (disclaimer: yes, I have given this much thought and yes, I have weighed the pros and cons of alternatives - I believe this is the best course of action towards my goal considering my finances, learning style, schedule, etc.) I plan on taking out a $25,000 - $30,000 personal loan to cover living expenses and tuition for approx. 6 months as coding bootcamps are currently not being recognized as "higher institutions"/don't qualify for student loan types (however, I am keeping my eye out for scholarships, alternative financial aid). My finances: Annual income: $44,500 Loans/Debts: $4,400 (car loan 1.9% APR) Debt to Income Ratio: ~10% Current Credit Score: 765 (TransUnion) Tuition: $18,000 (3 months) Monthly Expenses: Loan Repayment: ??? Rent: $500 Car Insurance: $105 Car Note: $125 Food: $100 (usually I spend $75~$125/month so am averaging amount) Transportation: $200 (estimate) Phone: $92 (cannot change plan - shared plan with dad who is on fixed income) Med Insurance: $243 (cheapest plan I could get; through my employer would cost $550/month) Total is $1,367/month. I used a couple of on-line loan calculators to guess-timate loan repayment and average figure was about $550~$650 ish. So total monthly would come out to ~$2,000. $25,000 loan/financial assistance $5,000 savings -$18,000 tuition $12,000 / $2,000 = 6 months (which is 3 months camp/3 months to find a job) Thank you for reading through my wall of text, I have been mulling over this for quite a bit. Any advice/feedback would be greatly appreciated :]

Admin assistant decides to leave her low-paying, high-stress, dead-end job to pursue a career in web development. Did some math and found out a personal loan is possibly needed. Unsure on how to proceed with obtaining said loan. Decided to ask fellow Redditors for interwebs advice.

I'm 20-something and do pretty well for myself. I'm not rich by American standards, but definitely so by most people's standards - I am in school debt-free, I work .5 FTE, I can afford nightlife, going out to eat, travel, and entertainment. I have no desire to be a millionaire, and have actively avoided people who do, but I, a woman, couldn't be with someone that lived below my means, which are admittedly pretty high The blunt truth of it is - money is a huge thing in relationships and many of my choices (moving around a lot, not having kids, etc) are centered around the fact my standard of living/ expectations from life are a certain way.

I haven't done what OP is asking, but will say: for better or worse, standards of income and how to spend it can make or break it.

For the past two or three years, I've felt what I imagined to be depressed. Stuff that I used to love - watching anime, playing video games, roleplaying, reading, etc. - has a lot less appeal than it used to; I almost have to make myself do it, and I don't have much fun. I don't smile or look or act happy very much, to the point where my mom has started to comment on it. I'll usually feel okay and kind of hopeful and stuff for a few months, three or four at the most. Then it's like something flicks a switch in my brain and I start to worry again. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel like nothing will ever change and that I'll be stuck where I am forever. I can't do anything right and everything goes wrong. I don't know if it's my hormones causing it, because they're out of whack, or if it's something in my family. Sometimes I think about the gun my dad keeps in the sewing machine at the end of the hallway outside of my room and about how easy it might be to take it out when everybody is asleep or when I get home before everyone else and shoot myself. I don't think about it during the brighter months, but I do during the darker ones. Sometimes I want stuff to just stop. It isn't like my life is shit. I'm overweight and I don't have a lot of friends, but my parents and my little sister are the best support system I could ask for. I have a 3.9 GPA. I'm going to the college of my choice and I'll more than likely get to do what I want for the rest of my life. I honestly don't know why I feel like I do and I feel worse about feeling this way because I don't feel like I have a real reason to. My mom and dad both have experienced depression. They've always told me that, if I ever felt like I needed help, I could tell them and they would help. I feel like telling them would only make their lives harder; they have enough problems with work and bills and stuff. I need to talk to someone about it, though, before I move away for college. I'm scared that it will only get worse when I move away from them. How can I tell them?

pretty sure I am depressed. have suicidal thoughts some times. feel like I have no reason to feel like this, which makes it worse. want to tell my parents but don't want to be a burden.

I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. We had parked in a parking lot. When all of a sudden, there is a knock on the window. A cop didn't want us parked there. He saw what was going. My boyfriend and I just sat there awkwardly. The cop then said "At least take her to a nice place." We then laughed about it as we drove away. It was one of the most scary and hilarious moments of my life.

I got caught giving my boyfriend a blow job. Edit: Wow! I didn't expect to get this many replies. To clarify, me and him are no longer dating. Unless you are a magic the gathering guy who competes in tournaments, I doubt I am your ex.

Okay, here it goes. I have been looking for about 4 months now to no avail. My dad just got promoted to a manager position and then transferred down to southern California. However after a about 6 months of working down here the company he worked for called him back to northern California without telling him why. Turns out they were firing him because they learned that one manager was good enough down here and his old job back in northern California was already filled so they couldn't hire him at all. Apparently the reason called him back so they would make sure he would give back the company truck (keep in mind this is a job he has had for 15 years, so how's that for company loyalty). Anyway everyone in my family has been looking for new jobs down here in corona CA, and have been getting frustrated. Today my dad called me a freeloading waste of space who isn't even trying to get a job. I told him I was trying hard everyday but seeing as this is my first job and no experience no one is willing to hire me. He then told me that if I don't find a job soon I will have to get out of the house.

Dad lost his job and threaten to kick me out, need to find a job Area:Corona Age:18 Experience: First job so none Hopeful jobs: Waiter (But beggars can't really be choosers so anything really). What do you get out of this? MY ETERNAL GRATITUDE

Last year, I decided to switch from eating mostly goldfish and pirate booty to healthier fare, like greek yogurt and vegetables and fruit. I began to get more obsessed with it, to the point where I would feel horribly guilty after eating a tablespoon of ice cream. I would eat one or two very small meals per day. I started walking everywhere, and using exercise equipment for at least half an hour per day. I lost twenty pounds over two months, from about 90. I am five foot. I realized I had an eating disorder. I talked to my mom and my doctor, who ordered me to gain the weight back. And so I did, albeit in the most unhealthy way possible. I binged and binged and binged and gained thirty pounds in under two months. I'll admit, I needed to gain back to a healthy weight. But I now have a very distorted perception of food and eating. I overeat, restrict, feel fat and ugly, overeat, etc. I simply want to adopt a healthier relationship with food and eating. I do love exercise, and I want to lose about five to ten pounds so I can be happy and confident with my body (that was when I was most comfortable in the past, I neither felt horribly skeletal nor pudgy and unattractive).

I'm 17, female, am a little under a hundred pounds, have a history of an eating disorder and would greatly appreciate input on how to adopt a healthier lifestyle so I can both lose a little weight and feel more comfortable in my own body.

Well me and my girlfriend had been together for about half a year, we attend the same class, at the same high school. We got together right after the summer and everything was great. About two months ago i started question our relationship and i thought about taking a break from our relationship. About a week before this i kind of started to stop comunicating, and we had a school break so it was kind of natural since we didnt meet in school. (i know its stupid as fuck on my part) well, we met on a saturday and didnt talk about what had just happend with me wanting to take a break and everything. I thought everything was normal. And i realised how much i liked her. One week later at a party she suddenly wanted to talk to me and she told me that "she wasnt feeling it anymore, she wasnt in love anymore". It was such a chock, i started crying and everything went upside down. The next day we met and she told me everything, etc etc. It was horrible. Well the thing is that we go to the same class, hang with the same friends, and go to the same parties. It hurts so much. and i dont know that to do. In school ive been keeping a really low profile, and being kind of cold, i guess its my type of way to get over things. MY question is how do i get over this? its impossible. Its so strange how my perception on our relationship could change so quick, but it did. And now im the one standing here alone, it sucks. Should i try to get her to like me again? should i just move the fuck on? im lost (this is my first relationship that really MEANT something to me, i appreciate any answers. <3

My girlfriend broke up, we go to the same class at the same school, i dont know how to get forward in my life. She made out with my friend.

Disclaimer: English isn't my first language, i'll try my best. I been dating with this girl for two months, seeing her 2/3 times a week. I'm into her and she is into me, but yesterday she told me her ex started texting her and she is 'confused'. Haven't see her again yet. I don't know if it's bullshit, but atm i just said that i like her, and if i could do something to stick together with her let me know. She replied that she need time to think (seems ok) and want to keep texting me, that she's sorry and sad for this. I asked if we could talk this personally but she's ashamed and refused afterwards. I'm asking for help because i don't know if i should remain in silence giving her time or should keep texting. One part of me want to convince her to stick with me and not with her ex, but the other part knows that she need to take that decision alone. I'm feeling pretty sad because i didnt expect this, everything was so nice between us, both relationship and sex. And i really dont want to lose her. :( It's my first post here so i dont know if i'm missing something.

Every seems ok until her ex started texting her, I dont want to lose her. *UPDATE: After talking we decided to end up the relation in good terms. She's a nice girl and wished her the best. Thanks for the advices.

This story is gonna be kind of vauge but I wanna keep a anonymity. I have a friend A that builds custom bikes dudes talented as hell.Well l builds a bike for a mutual friend B.B was a family friend of A's and we became friends as well.(B is alot older than all of us and is retired.)Anyways A finally gives him the bike.And all is well,eventually I and A kind of get busy and can't hang out all that much.Eventually stuff dies down and we all start hanging out again.B becomes kind of distant acts like he is pissed at all of us but denies that he is.This goes on for like a month or so till it culminates to an argument between A and B something that I wasn't present for.I get a call early in the morning a few days after the argument.A tells me to check out B's facebook page. Remember the bike B bought from A completely wrecked ran it over with his truck and set the bike on fire.He gave us a half ass reason that we were angry at him or something I never got a chance to read it all the way through because I was so pissed/shocked that he did something like this.I cut ties with him over the following month or so,I would have cut ties with him immediately but I owed him some money for something I bought from him,and haven't talked to him in 6 months or so.B never gave us a real answer to why he was originally pissed with us I know this sounds vain but honestly I think he was jealous of us.

Friend buys custom bike built by another friend.Friend who bought bike destoys it after having an argument with the friend that made it.Cut ties with bike destroyer because I don't have time for mentally unstable people.

Living together, been dating for 1 year or so, in love with each other, and share a generally healthy, passionate and pleasurable sex life. Say your SO is heading out the door for work or something, you ask him or her for a quick goodbye kiss ("Hey, kiss?" or "Gimme a kiss," etc.) and he or she complains that it's too much of a hassle: "No, I gotta go," or "Ugh, okay," or "No time." Let's say that this is a repeat situation that comes up frequently enough (but not always), even though you've talked about it. How should you feel? Is it wrong to feel incredulous or slightly offended that your SO won't give you a quick goodbye kiss when prompted? Should you ever have to push to receive a simple goodbye kiss from your SO?

It feels like such a trivial issue but: if your SO often refuses you when you casually ask for or offer a quick goodbye kiss, how should you feel? If love and affection/sex are otherwise good, should you just let it go?

One of my college buddies told me this story from when he was in high school. I know several of his friends from back then and they all swear by it. Everyone is playing basketball in gym class. My friend starts a pickup game and a kid with down's syndrome wants to join the game. They start playing, and my friend gets so frustrated with this kid's less than stellar basketball skills that he starts harassing him. Eventually, the kid has had enough and just punches my friend straight in the face. They go to the principles office. My friend tells the principle that this kid just lost it and punched him for no reason, completely ignoring how vicious he was being to the poor guy. My friend got good grades etc so the principle believed him and gave the other kid detention for like a month or something.

my friend harassed a high school kid with down's syndrome to the point that he got punched in the face. He lied to the principle and got the the kid suspended/detention or whatever.

I [22F] have been with my SO [24M] for 2 years. We are generally happy and I've never had a situation like this with him before. I feel stupid for even asking this, but I just want to figure it out. Ever since Miley Cyrus did that half-naked VMA performance and starting putting up naked pictures on the internet, my SO has become obsessed with her. He talked about her a lot to me until I asked him not to anymore. He said he thought she was sexy and that he would fuck her. He always talks about her to his friends when they come over, and I always see different "Miley Cyrus naked pics" websites come up in the suggested searches on our computer. I don't care if he watches porn, but for some reason this really bugs me. He has never gone on about any other girl like this. I know this is a stupid problem and that I have no control over what he likes, so... what can I do? Learn to live with it, or leave, I guess? I don't consider myself insecure and I really don't know why I'm so bothered by this.

My SO is always talking about/looking at naked pics of Miley Cyrus lately and it's really weirding me out. I don't have a problem with him looking at porn but this seems different. What can I do? Do I just have to deal with it, or leave?

Hello you wonderful people. Made this throwaway to ask a question. So, right before leaving my home country and starting up a relationship with my now-husband, I briefly dated—not even dated, had a fling with—this dude I worked with. It lasted like 2 weeks or so, but we had fun. He tried to keep in touch with affectionate emails but I broke it off completely when I left. I slept with my now-husband for the first time within days of leaving the country (and coincidentally within days of last sleeping with fling guy). Now-husband knows everything, and it's okay because I asked for a casual relationship at the beginning when we started anyway. Overlap was not a biggie, but now-husband feels a bit jealous about the situation (or felt jealous, we don't really mention this much) because he thinks I didn't want to leave my home country because I was into this guy (not true) and saw some stupid messages I sent to my long-ago roommate about how awesome the fling guy was. Anyway, now we live in the same area and have mutual friends from before. We occasionally pass him here and there. Once at a community dinner, he was there. Husband didn't identify who he was, but the fling guy stopped over to say "hi" nonchalantly and then say "you look good" and husband didn't hear. Anyway, we're going to a party tonight packed with mutual friends between fling-guy and myself. I'm nervous we'll all be interacting in a more significant way. What are some tips for interacting with EX in front of husband? Things to say? Things to not say? Please help me prepare—this is a real possibility and I want to be friendly/cordial while letting everyone know that fling-guy is way in the past and husband is my one and only (obviously).

Cross paths with ex-fling in hometown. Want to prepare for interactions in settings where we'll be in the same room for a longer period of time. Tips?

I have night terrors . I couldnt do it. I remember rocking back and forth on the floor (in my underwear) (in the presence of my entire extended family) moaning. When asked why I was so worried, i responded "because its such a daunting task". Basically, we solved the problem by cheating and asking my grandma for an answer that would give me an A. She told me, pick 8. I laughed so hard at how simple the answer was that I snapped out of it and woke up.

my teacher, played by my grandma, said i had to pick a number between 1 and google. I rocked back and forth on the ground moaning because it was "such a daunting task"

So I go to a private liberal arts college in North Carolina that has a Campus police as well as town police. Campus Police are actually cops and have been granted permission by my school to operate on Campus. Some quick backstory: Last year I was on campus over the summer and during that time I was introduced to Marijuana. I smoked it off campus all summer and was very discreet, or so I thought. At the end of the summer right before school started I was cold called by a member of campus police asking if I could come in and answer some questions about an incident. When I came in I was blindsided with questions about drug use and they brought in a Town cop who grilled me about my friends. Being naive I answered truthfully that I had smoked in the past, though I did not answer any questions about my friends. After about an hour and a half they made me sign a affidavit and sent me on my name, never contacting me again. Since I hadn't been caught in the act they couldn't charge me and the college couldn't either due to everything occurring outside their jurisdiction. Fast forward to today, where I just received a call from the same cop, asking me once again if I could stop by to answer some questions. I pushed them off a couple days due to my busy school schedule, but I'm afraid they are going to go after me again for the same thing. I'm freaking out because I'm afraid they are going to toss me through the same process over again. Should I go in to the station? Should I go in and when they say I'm not being detained leave? Should I just go in and say that I'm invoking my right to silence? Should I tell my parents? I don't want to have to go through this again especially since I know that they are fishing for information and there is nothing that I can be prosecuted for under NC law. Sorry for the long post but its on my mind and causing me a lot of stress.

Johnny Law comes a calling, I don't want to answer. Edit: I told them over the phone when they called me this afternoon that I wouldn't be available until Thursday afternoon. Should I call and say I can't make or just not go?

I've had my own interior painting business. I'm here to help, but that may not be apparent. So many variables. Wow. Where do I start? Ok. Assuming that your landlord knows you are not professionals, he doesn't care about the quality of the work. Most landlords don't. Your apartment must be a typical rental unit. The trim is beat up, the walls are bumpy with bad patches, roller-edge-lines, roller fuzz, and painted-in filth. I'll bet the outlet covers have been painted right onto the walls, a little at least if not completely covered. If the trim is actually painted with different paint than the walls, there's not a straight line separating wall from trim in the entire place. If this is not the case, and your landlord wants to keep it that way, forget painting it yourself. You will either screw it up, or worse ... you will take the time and patience it takes to ace your first project, which will be ten times the hours it would take a pro. (And to do it well, you will have to buy more expensive equipment.) So, we can assume that you are not going to give professional results. Forget about sanding and spackling. Wash walls and trim with light TSP solution. If you want to give everything a light sanding first, knock yourself out, but it's really not going to matter. Forget about spackle. Without skill in application, you are doing nobody any favors. You will lose time, the walls will look worse. Need to know ... Are all the rooms the same color? Will you be changing their color? Is the trim the same color & finish as the walls? Are you even painting the trim? Are there wall to wall carpets? Are the kitchen cabinets getting painted? Closets? High ceilings? Crown molding? Painting the doors? How many doors & windows? Textured ceiling or flat? If textured, what kind? Most important question, are you willing to work for $5 to $10 an hour? At the least, you are looking at buying about $400 in paint and (crappy) tools. So your $1200 figure will end up being $400 profit for each of you, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, you dump a gallon of primer on a carpet and pay for a new carpet. If you are dealing with multiple colors ( applying or covering ), painting trim, textured ceiling, painting closets, doors, lots of windows ... well, you might be better off hiring a pro and collecting cans for deposits.

Get three professional price quotes, choose the lowest, retype the quote, pad it a couple hundred bucks and give it to the landlord. Hire the pro, cash landlord's check, pay the pro. Profit!

Ugh, this is probably one of the most commonplace and prevailing myths in the credit industry. Here's how credit score reporting works: A major factor in your credit score comes from your utilization - the amount you've spent on your credit card each month as a percentage of the total limit. >Example: if you've got a $10k limit and you've spent $2k this month, you are utilizing 20% of your credit. One of the reasons that getting a higher credit limit is good is because, if you spend the same amount each month, you'll be utilizing a smaller percentage. >Congrats! You up your credit limit to $50,000. You're still only spending $2k a month, so now you're down to a 4% credit utilization! The credit bureaus, which generate your credit scores, pull your credit usage each month, although there's no real way to tell when in the month they'll do this. Basically, each credit bureau takes a snapshot of your utilization each month at some point. However, there's no distinction to the credit bureau whether this balance on your card is carried over, or if it's fresh! And this is where most people get things thrown off. It can go two ways: >Scenario 1: You paid off your credit card completely last month, and when the company takes the snapshot for this month, you've spent your $2k. Still with a 50k limit, you're at a 4% utilization. Or: >Scenario 2: You didn't pay off your credit card fully last month, and you carried the 2k monthly expenses over. The company takes the snapshot before you've put this month's expenses on it, so your utilization is still 4%. Both of these give the same snapshot to the credit bureau. Can you spot the difference? In Scenario 2, you get charged interest on the balance. Usually at about 23%. Ouch! In essence, if the company happens to take a snapshot before you've charged this month's expenses but after paying off last month's, they'll see a 0% utilization. The best way to fix this is to set your card to automatically pay the full balance a couple days or so before it's due. This way, you still pay in full, but the chance of the bureau taking the snapshot at the wrong point is very small.

Utilization can be either current month's expenses, a carried balance, or a combination of the two. If you carry a balance, however, you'll pay interest. Don't pay interest. Pay off your card each month.

My ex of 1 year broke up with me over a year ago, in 2013 June, for reasons I actually don't understand. I take it vaguely as "I'm great but I'm not the one she is looking to spend rest of her life with", but I still had contact with her from time to time maybe once or twice a month until Dec. of 2013. I realized then that I need to completely break off from her. I've had no contact what so ever since, but I just can't get over my ex. I can't help but have thoughts of her everyday still. she just still pops up in my mind SOMEHOW. I feel like I need to find another girl to be completely done, but at the same time, I'm not sure if a new girl should come after I'm completely over my ex. I feel lonely without anyone of emotional connection but just imagination of another break up seems so dreadful.

Had a break up over a year ago. I don't know how I could get over her, and if I am ready for another person in my life.

So, I haven't really eaten for 2 days, and I'm taking adderall, I just haven't thought about it. I've had a boyfriend (I'm a gay male) for over a year and a half now, and I absolutely love him. I was completely out of it today, like 100%, everything was loopy and surreal, and I was incredibly hungry, but I kept ignoring it. I decided to browse the Craigslist 'casual encounters' to play a game where I pick random people, and do a kind of RP chat to blueballs them. Yes, its evil, yes, I'm a blunder cunt, I get it. Anyway, for some reason, this specific person I replied two ended up being pretty cool. Normally, this wouldn't faze me, I would just back out immediately, and move on to the next target. Today, for reasons fucking unknown, I decided to take the game further, and I didn't stop. I just couldn't believe that any of this was real, like it was some stupid dream I was having. It ended up me 'hosting', and s/he came over, and was just as chill in person, we talked a bit, and I found out s/he sells large quantities of Cannabis. Then we smoked weed, a lot of weed, more then I every do in one sitting. At this point, I realize that I really don't want to do this, that this is a stupid mistake. But I couldn't stop, and it wasn't even a physical urge, it was a social anxiety and the fear of rejection, what would s/he say? Is this person dangerous? I don't even know this person, what am I doing, if I stop, what if they go berserk? It was about at this point I realized we were going at it bareback, and I died inside. It hit me all at once what I was doing, that I was committing the cardinal sin against the person I love, that I was doing something incredibly fucking dangerous for no reason, and I still wanted to stop, but I couldn't. Luckily, the stress killed my boner, and after enough failed attempts to continue the act, s/he wanted to just get off, so I obliged, and we finally called it a night, but first I bought a dub, just to be safe. I, proving to me there is a god, did not finish, nor even get close, so that worry is out of my mind. But now I've fucked up. I can't NOT tell my boyfriend that I banged a black tranny drugdealer for no reason, but really didn't want to. I can't tell my boyfriend that I banged a black tranny drugdealer for no reason, because how could I ever expect him to forgive or trust me ever again? I fucking hate this gay earth.

I didn't eat for 2 days, went crazy, hooked up with a black tranny drugdealer on craigslist, bought weed after sex, and cheated on my boyfriend of a year and a half, for no reason, and I didn't even want to, but still did. TIFU.

Ooooh, story time! I've been waiting to share these: I'm a Security officer on a college campus. This campus is old, in the 1600s it was a colony, then fortresses from the Revolution all the way up to WWII. Eventually it was converted into a college campus, but the ruins of the previous fortresses and most of the brick buildings are still here. There's one building that used to be officer's quarters that's now a small hotel; students train to be hosts and bartenders there. This building has a weird history. It's dedicated to a boy that drowned ages ago. It's where two officers from the Revolution and the Civil War died; one of sickness, one executed for being a suspected traitor, respectively. Now, for ghosts there are reports of a woman that walks around between rooms, shadow figures seen sitting in chairs, people sitting in the conference room, doors being locked when there are no locks , as well as plenty of voices and bizarre sounds. As a security officer, I have to go through this building by myself to lock it up at night and turn off all the lights. I've turned off all the lights and locked all the doors, to come back an hour or two later and have lights on again when I know for a fact nobody's there. I've had the temperature drop 20 degrees in a few seconds, in the middle of July, with the A/C turned off. I've heard children laughing, then something dragging across the floor above me. I've heard screams, and seen shadows move. My favorite incident is when I saw somebody walk across the second floor landing on the stairs. I could see her legs and shoes clearly, but couldn't hear anything, and when she reached the wall she disappeared. The top half of her body was concealed by the railing and ceiling. Note that all of these incidents - and these are just a few - happen in the middle of the night, when I'm the only one in the building. Occasionally I'll have another officer with me, but we always stick together. By now, every officer that works on this campus has experienced something.

Working night shift security in an area that's hundreds of years old is scary as hell, and I'm never working the skeleton shift (11pm - 7am) ever again.

I recently found and picked up a bee while wrapping my arm around a lady friend. I looked into my hand and wondered how in the world i had caught a bee with my bare hands.

While reaching around a friends shoulders, my fingers grabbed a bumblebee by chance. EDIT: Title should be has something like this ever happened to you?

I was at a cocktail party full of architects, doctors and other intellectuals. Feeling slightly intimidated I downed a few strong drinks and started to loosen up and have some really good conversations. I went to use the toilet but there was a line up. There were two ladies in their late twenties waiting and I started up a conversation with them. They turned out to be flatmates and both worked in bars which made a change from the other party goers. One of them was very attractive with short boyish dark hair and bright red lipstick, the other wasn't as cute but still pretty. They both had a bit of a rock chick/betty page thing going on and seemed really cool. They began to be quite comfortable chatting with me and revealed they were avoiding the others for fear of making themselves look stupid. I gave them complements on how superior their social skills were compared to the other people I'd spoken to and, being slightly tipsy, lavished them with praise on their stylish cocktail finery which they both responded to very positively. I should mention at this point two things: 1: I have a girlfriend who I'd been with for three years at this time, and I've never considered cheating on her 2: I'm terrible at picking up on signals The toilet had been free for some time now so I excused myself for a minute. When I got back they were finishing their drinks when the cute one turned and said "we're gonna grab a taxi, do you wanna share with us?" I thought about it for a second and said "uhh nah I'm good, I've got my bike here" they looked at each other kind of confused and said "you sure?" "Yeah it's all good I love biking!" okay nice to meet you etc then they started towards the door. I later found out from a mutual friend they were trying to get me back to their house and that my naive chat had been mistaken for flirting. I told my girlfriend about it and she told me if I had ended up there she would have given me a pass. Even still, I'm not that kind of guy (unless I was single..)

I accidently flirted with two girls who tried to invite me for a threesome but I turned them down so I could ride my bike home to my girlfriend.

I recently went to India to do school for nursing which means my bf and I would have to be in a long distance relationship for three years. I came to India in September and I could tell how much the distance has taken a toll on him. He would talk to me literally all day and he really made me believe that he could do this. Maybe I should have seen the signs. In December, he had to do boot camp for the Air Force and we couldn't talk for two months. I wrote him about 60 letters and got 7 back. When it came time for graduation he seemed so distant and acted as if he didn't even care about me. I mean.. I guess I should have seen this coming. He meant so much to me. He was my first everything. We spent so much time talking and spending time together. I know that this relationship is probably over for good because we messaged each other the other day, but he said the most fucked up shit to me and I said the most fucked up shit back. I know we both didn't mean it, he was saying it so it would be easier for me to move on since he couldn't so long distance. I can't stop thinking about him, and I have the urge to message him and just apologize and ask for him to give me another chance. Our relationship had some problems but it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed. Neither of us were perfect but I saw perfection with him. The mean things came from me saying that I wanted to remove the matching tattoo we have. But it's like what do you expect when we aren't together. Why would I want it? He said things like he's already fucking around with other girls, i don't know if I should believe it because I know him and it's not him to be messaging me for a while and talking to someone else at the same time. I miss him and I want to believe that we can make it

I want to know if I should message my ex and talk to him about our relationship or just let it go... He was my first everything and I miss him. I just want him back because I love him.

I feel like the girl I love doesn't want me. She seems to keep me separate from the rest of her life and keeps me around just she'll have someone to be there if she needs. We've been dating for a while yet she doesn't like it when I hang out with her friends especially when shes there. In fact, she recently split her social calendar to "one day for my friends, one day for you". A part of me feels like I interrupted a budding relation ship between her and one of her guy friends. I try to do my best to make her happy; I've made her family happier, helped her with everything I could, and even opened up potential careers through the people I've introduced her to. Yet, despite my best efforts, I still feel like I'm treated like an unnecessary luxury. Nice to have around, but if I wasn't, nothing much would change. /rant

I'm insecure about my relationship Also, realizing that a lot of my idols growing up, my parents, teachers, and the like will one day die... Kinda depressing..

I was seeing this guy for a month and it started off really strong. We would try to see each other all the time, we would talk on the phone every night for hours, we would text all day. When we first met, there was a lot of chemistry and we were very upfront about what we wanted - both of us wanted relationships as an endgoal. I was hesitant at first about being so lovey-dovey so quick, but he seemed so genuine when he told me how he felt, so I kind of dove in right behind him. After our first couple of dates, he went on vacation and things were still amazing. We would talk all the time and feelings only grew. He came back and we had another date (and sex) and things fizzled. After that, he flaked on our next planned date, but made sure to plan another one in its place. We did go out, had sex again, but things didn't change. It still felt different. I told him if he had lost interest, it was fine - it happens. But he still said he wanted to talk to and see me, but it was just work and distance (he lives an hour away) that was making it hard. We tried make plans one more time for him to come down. He said "he will let me know," and didn't end up texting me all that day. I broke things off because I've played this game before - someone who wants to be with me, would be. This guy did not. So I pretty much ended things, saying it was just disappointing but for the best, and he agreed. Days later, he texted me and apologized. Said the more he saw me, it didn't feel "natural for us to be together" and work just made it harder. Also told me it wasn't anyone else in the picture either. We kind of got into a back and forth and he admit, he just lost interest. He pretty much said he strung me along because "he just wanted to like me back" which is confusing to me, because in the beginning all he could talk about was how much he liked me.

A guy I saw a lot of potential with fizzled out on me because apparently he didn't like me back, and I can't stop thinking about it and what went wrong.

The method I've used on my dog is pretty effective. Every time he pulls, I just stop dead in my tracks. In essence, it's classical conditioning: pulling the leash becomes associated with not being able to continue the walk. As soon as he stops pulling I resume the walk. The trick is to do it every time he pulls and it do it immediately when he starts yanking the leash. In the beginning it will be frustrating and seem as though he isn't understanding the concept, but he will pick it up in a relatively short amount of time.

Classical conditioning. Stop walking immediately when your dog pulls the leash. Resume walking once s/he relieves tension on the leash. edit: /r/Dogtraining is a good source for dog stuffs.

I met her at a badminton club three years ago. She is very very friendly towards everyone. So I have a hard time telling whether or not if she is interested in me. But she does entrust me with her personal life stories. She told me about a crush she had before. A lot of other guys at the badminton club has asked her out. She rejected all of them politely. I fear that if I ask her out and get rejected things will become awkward at the badminton club. Should I ask her out regardless of a bad outcome? Or should I just stay friends with her?

I've had a crush on a girl I met through badminton club. It is hard to tell if she is interested in me and I worry about the social awkwardness as a result of a rejection.

I think everyone in Scotland would prefer a calm, calculated, concrete plan, but here us how it came about. Scottish Nationalist Party won an unexpected landslide victory in the Scottish Elections 2011 (with a voting system that makes a huge victory very difficult). It is thought, this was due to Scottish people's disappointment with the direction UK allied parties were taking the country. One of their main policies was a referendum on independence. (I think that even the SNP were surprised to get such a victory in 2011 and would have preferred 2016 to get organised) The SNP negotiated with the UK government, the format for the referendum. The SNP wanted three options: yes/no/more powers for Scotland (like a federal state, sometimes called Devo max) The third option is what most Scottish people would vote for and want. This MAY have lead to a more gradual independence in the future. The UK government refused the third option, thinking the people of Scotland would be too scared to go it alone. This was expected to 'put the Scottish question to bed', and be the end of it. Also in an attempt to create more fear and doubt, the UK government refused to negotiate any plans for IF there was a yes vote. This has left a log of questions unanswered.

I agree with you, but that wasn't an option, because of the UK governments position, and we may not get another chance for a generation.

The reason I'm positing this is because I'm terribly conflicted in terms of how I'm feeling about my situation. I'm a student, and I'm working full-time (though I'm trying to start working part-time for school) while living with my Father. Deep down, I know that living with my Dad is a good financial decision at this point in my life. He charges me rent, but it's much lower than what I'd be paying if I were on my own, and I'm very grateful to have the ability to do this. That being said, living with him is driving me crazy! I'm single and I tend to be very independent, but living here makes me feel like I'm losing some of that. He doesn't get mad at me or make me feel guilty for going out, I have no curfew, he basically buys all the groceries and cooks food on occasion. I have it pretty good. Yet, I find myself feeling very annoyed with him for no good reason. For example, I'll come home from work and he will immediately start talking to me and asking me about my day, totally reasonable stuff, yet I get so frustrated and I get very short with him in an effort to end the conversation. I feel like such an incredible asshole for this! I figured the only solution was to move out so I'm not seeing him every single day... I don't know where it's coming from! I'm not normally a dick like this, but I just can't help it. So here's my two-pronged question: Should I stick it out and continue living with him until I transfer to University (probably about another year or so), or should I move out and live on my own (can use financial Aid to pay for rent). Also, can anyone relate to this, I want to know why I feel so annoyed with someone who is only trying to help me, why am I being such a dick? Thanks for reading, sorry for the long post. I know I've made myself look like a proper asshole.

Living with my Dad is driving me insane, but it's good for me financially. Should I stay til I transfer to University (1 year) or move and rely on financial aid for rent?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a month. We were previously together for about a year, but then broken up for 8 months due to him sort of "cyber" cheating on me (sending/receiving pictures, telling a girl he never met that he loved her, immature shit like that). I know that the same issues will most likely arise again getting back together with a past cheater. He jokingly said to me "I hope we're together for a long time, as long as you aren't bitchy". I then said "I hope we are too, as long as you don't cheat on me". I thought we were just kidding around, beating up on each other. Then he says "Yeah, but old habits die hard". At this point I freeze and basically come out of my drunken state, asking him what the hell he meant. He said he just said that because he wanted praise for being "so strong" and resisting urges. Wtf? Is it not a boyfriends job to be loyal to his partner? He knew I was upset, so we went to bed with him kissing my ass and telling me all of this "I'd never cheat on you again" stuff. So what now? I'm super paranoid all over again of him cheating on me by that comment alone. Should I end things since he pretty much said himself that he'd do it again? Or should I bring it back up and try to work on things?

Boyfriend drunkenly said "old habits die hard" in reference to previously cheating on me. I'm worried about our relationship now. Should I break up with him over that?

Hi Reddit. I have a weird situation with my BF that I wanted to ask you about. We've been dating for 3 years, and so far, its been great. We get along, our families love each other, we barely have any fights (at all, honestly), and we truly love each other. The issue is, my bf has an odd...friendship....with a girl who makes me a little uncomfortable. She is constantly asking him out to things (drinks, going to her house, etc), making inappropriate comments (or what I think is inappropriate?? like "we have unfinished business"). We live in kind of a suburban area, so I guess there aren't a lot of places to "hang out" and stuff, but still, that still seems to be crossing some line when you're dealing with a taken guy... I'm also almost certain this is the girl he had tried to date like, 8 years ago, and then it didn't work out for whatever reason, and he quit pursuing her. I'm certain they did not have a real sexual relationship. All of that, however, would have been fINE with me! But he never told me about her before! He's mentioned that he has a "friend he talks to" and that he once went out for drinks with "his friend and her friends" (this was confirmed), but he's never actually told me about her, who she is (attempted ex-gf?), or that she talks to him every day , or that she ALWAYS invites him out (and that he sometimes says yes, even though he doesn't usually follow through with their plans). To his benefit, he is VERY good at not being inappropriate. To all her requests that I consider borderline weird, he shoots her down; he never initiates conversation, and quite frankly, he seems bored with a lot of what she says. Still though - I find it wierd he never told me about her. A little over a week ago, I finally asked who she was, and he just said "oh shes just this annoying friend I have, always asking me to do things." What do you think, reddit? Am I crazy for thinking he's lying by omission? Is this something I should be crazy about, or am I overreacting, and he genuinely doesn't see anything wrong with this?

BF has odd relationship with some girl. EDIT: also, he's been talking to her for probably 2 years now? And he just recently deleted his entire conversation-chain with her (and then she promptly started a new one). Wierd?

First one: I used to work at a gas station. I would face the window, looking out at the pumps, with the newspaper on the counter in front of me, and wait for people to come in. When they did, I would turn and acknowledge them, and then when they came up to the counter, I would say "hello" and ring them up. The credit card machine was on the same counter, and I swear it was on dial up, cause it would take 20-30 seconds to go through. One time, I greeted a customer with "hello", he paid with a card, so I walked over to scan the card, and when I was done, turned back and said "hello" again, just because I was so used to saying it when I turned. Surprised I didn't do it more often. Other time: I was in Vegas, we were at the Walgreens buying limes for drinks in our rooms. We had a timeshare, so we had dishes, utensils, etc. Some girls were also buying limes, but were asking each other if they had a knife in their hotel room to cut them with. Stupidly trying to get them to party with us, my best line was "I've got a knife in my room!"

Said hello to the same person when they came to the counter and after I rang them up, and told some girls I had a knife for them in my hotel room.

I'm doing the Insanity workout right now. For those of you who haven't tried it, the warm-up is 30sec each of jogging, jumping jacks, the Heisman, 1-2-3 Heisman, jogging while kicking your butt, jogging with high knees, and mummy kicks (kick your feet out at about ankle height while holding your arms straight in front of you, crossing them with each kick). Then you repeat that sequence twice more without stopping . I may be (very) out of shape right now, but I like to try and push myself a little bit further each time. Today, I decided, I'd make it to the end of the first round without stopping for a break. And of course, at the end of the first round, the doorbell rings. Maintenance was checking fire extinguishers that day, and of course that's when they decided to come. I'm just as unsurprised as you all are. So, out of breath because hahaha I'd just pushed myself through all of that without stopping, I hit the TV (because I couldn't find the switch to pause it fast enough), go to the door, and make a joke about how I knew they were going to turn up right then, because of course right as I started working out is when they'd get there. The two guys laugh, go check the fire extinguisher, and leave. I follow a couple seconds behind to lock the door behind them, and hear something about "workout," followed by a kind of derogatory laugh and "she hadn't even started to sweat." OF COURSE I hadn't started to sweat yet, I'd been working out less than five minutes when you turned up, dude! And anyone who's done Insanity can vouch for me on this, you usually don't start sweating until the end of the warmup/starting into the stretching, when your body catches up and goes "WHAT DID YOU JUST DO." About a half-second after shock registered, I yelled back at the door "Excuse the hell out of you!" And then went back to my workout. And let me tell you, I absolutely killed it. Because screw you, dude, just because I hadn't started sweating yet doesn't mean I hadn't already started pushing myself to the limit. Kind of wish they'd seen me at the end of my workout, with sweat dripping off my nose. I would've stared him down and asked him if it I'd sweated enough to earn his approval yet.

Don't you disparage my workouts just because you got a 30-second glimpse of me being out of breath. Your "she hadn't even started to sweat yet" means jack shit to me.

If you have kids, think about them. This isn't saying stay together for them, it just means to act like adults and proper role models for them, because it is something that is very hard to live with, especially if at an age where they are very impressionable. Be mature about it, no mud slinging, dont't try to turn the child against the other, and most certainly do not ever get them involved in the child support payment process. Im writing this as an adult who's parents divorced as an infant. Their split was ugly and 25 years later it still is. All i've ever known is that my parents literally despise each other, they cant be in the same room as each other with fighting. It's pathetic and embarassing. As for the child support comment, my mother used to make me ask my father for the support checks. He would pay, but sometimes would miss a week. I felt like an arbitrator for my parents my whole life, and it deeply scarred me and engrained some serious self esteem issues. I turned out alright 2 engineering degrees and a great job in Boston, but it was only because of my own resolve to get out of the town i grew up in.

whatever you do, make it as easy as possible for your kids, b/c it is going to be harder on them than it will be on you.

Hey this is small haha, I'm 19 male and she's 18 female Basically before the fall semester break ended this girl and I met a few weeks prior to it ending and we got off really well from the start. talked daily, talked about morals and values and essentially clicked on everything. We slept together if that's somehow important to this question. Before she left I said have fun with your family, and joked to not forget about me ina teasing way. She told me to text her over break. She went home, i texted her asking how her flight was and told her to text me sometime and she said sure ! wished her good night and all ... 4 days and no text so my question is should I text her or nah? Either shes playing games or forgot about me lmao...probably forgot about me. before she left she told me she wanted to take her on dates when spring resumed and if a relationship ever formed distance wasn't an issue for her. To be honest I'm not in love because i dont know her that well but do have a little "crush" on her so I don't want to loose it but is there any point in pursing this or nah?

girl and I get along well before semester ends, sleep together and when she leaves for home doesnt text me and she said.. should I text her to keep the connection going or nah? thanks for reading

My bf is very protective of his computer. He will let me use his laptop when we are playing games together. He always locks his computer and laptop even if he is just going for piss. Today I found tons of sex tapes and nude pictures on his laptop. I'm very upset by this. Few months ago we had a fight because of his exes, when I found out they were still having sexual conversation when they chat. so I know he still talks to some of his ex-girlfriends but he told me they are just friends. My bf and I live together but I'm leaving soon, I don't know what will happen when I'm gone. Should I ask him why he still keep those pictures and sex tapes? And how to bring this up to him without upsetting him? (Because I looked into his laptop)

why does my boyfriend still keeps tons of sex tapes and pictures of his exes. And I don't know how to confront him without upsetting him.

32F dating 35M for two months, and we've been exclusive for about a month. 98% of the time, he's sweet, thoughtful, and affectionate. He's been active and enthusiastic in moving the relationship forward, and being with him makes me very happy. But occasionally - let's say 2 or 3 times in the short time we've been dating - he just withdraws and it makes me very insecure - I begin wondering if I've inadvertently upset him or if he's losing interest in me. But then the next day he'll be totally fine. I know everyone is going to tell me to talk to him - and trust me, I'm a big believer in open dialogue to deal with problems. But I don't know how to explain his distance with any sort of concrete examples - it's more of a "vibe" I get from him, slight change in tone, drop off in affectionate touching, etc. In other words, problems that could very well only exist in my head. I've tried not to take it personally - sometimes I withdraw when I'm stressed, and am thinking maybe he does the same thing. When he gets distant, I will gently ask him if everything's okay, he'll say yes, and I'll drop it. But there's still a little voice of insecurity in the back of my head wondering if he's unhappy with me. Should I bring this up with him? If so, how should I go about having this conversation?

Boyfriend will occasionally and suddenly withdraw. Want to discuss why with him, but not sure how to go about having that conversation because I can't really provide concrete examples of "distance." Plus I could be building mountains out of molehills.

Hi, I finished university about 3 years ago now and I am lucky enough to have found a job <1 year after graduation, which I have worked, and been promoted through ever since. Unfortunately, many of my cohort were not as lucky and even many of the ones who got 1st class degrees are still unemployed (or working retail) all these years later (despite, im sure, having great plans). For context I studied Economics, which is vastly oversubscribed, so theres not nearly enough demand out there for graduates (it would have been nice if the Uni had explained this, but they wanted to sell the course) I imagine it is just as bad if you have graduated a sports science degree, or a fine arts degree etc but that is just speculation. The way I see it, the problem stems from both the fact that the number of people studying a certain subject is in no way related to the demand for people in that profession, and the fact that there are limited options for a graduate: What the industry wants you to do, is get a 'graduate job' with a big firm. This lets you get some experience, and prove yourself, possibly leading to a job. These barely pay a living wage (£15-17000) and you can be stuck in them for 3+ years and they may not even lead to a 'real' job. With universities like mine churning out 1500ish economists a year, companies offering these graduate jobs can be picky, real picky, so they go for the 1st class degree high flyer types and only accept students from good universities. I didnt apply for many of these for these reasons. Again, because unemployment is so high, and available jobs are so low, a 'proper' job in the industry expects you to have around 8 years experience in a similar role, which is only achievable through a series of underpaying graduate jobs. I personally got some work experience in a totally unrelated field (worked for free for a couple of months) and that miraculously lead to a perminent job somewhere with prospects (yes its IT related). The annoying thing was, my current job (paying ~10k more than a graduate job) doesnt specifically require a degree, the 2 months work experience would have been enough 3 years ago, before I spent £20k on university (this was before uni fees tripled in this country).

Its a hopeless situation out there, whether you have a degree or not, experience is key. There are too many qualified people out there in many professions, you at least need to make it seem like you have a special skill gained through experience.

Hi, so my girlfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years. I think she's one of the best persons I've met, and by far the best girlfriend I've had - the most loving, the most caring and understanding. We've only had just one fight, and it even didn't last too long. Of all the women I've met, I truly believe she's the best match for me, not only because of our relationship so far, but also because we hold the same ideals and believe in the same things. But, lately I'm just not feeling "it". Sometimes she's talking and I just don't want to hear it. Rarely it even annoys me. I'm not sure if my feelings have changed or that I'm just feeling pressure this semester and feel like I need to go and study. For the past 1.5 months, the thought of breaking up comes and goes, but I feel that if I'll act up on it I'll make the worst mistake of my life, not to mention that it will surely devastate her. Just thinking about it makes me feel extremely bad, almost like death in the family. It might just be that our relationship became stale, as we don't go out or have sex as much as we used to. Maybe we need to lively it up, but even though we've been saying that we're going to, things just never work out. Either because of work, studies, family matters or whatever. Things got worse a few days ago when I met this other women in a social thing. We've been texting on FB for whole days, and I feel a certain attraction to her, feels almost like a teenage crush. I can't wait to get a message from her, and I really want to see her again. Even though we're not flirting or anything, it feels plain wrong talking to her. I have many female friends, even very close ones, and the feelings I have for her are more than friendly. Things like this have happened before, but usually passed after a day, of course without me acting up on my feelings or saying even anything remotely flirty. This doesn't show any sign of going away. I just don't know if I'm attracted to her because I'm feeling bored with my girlfriend. I don't know if I'm feeling bored because we're not doing anything special together. I've been thinking about this the whole day and it just makes me feel like shit.

I don't know if I should break up from my girlfriend or that the way that I'm feeling is just pressure from my studies and not doing anything special together anymore. To make things worse, I've met someone new who gets me excited.

Just a little back story: I compete at an elite level in an individual sport. I was in Sweden last weekend and met a lot of people over there. I thought I'd try out a few things with a girl I had seen before, she looked like she was a lot of fun. The only thing I was doing was looking in her eyes and smiling, sometimes even blinking. Though she smiled back I wasn't getting a real big response and seeing as she had much attention from other guys I thought she wasn't interested. Not a big deal. Her loss for not meeting someone awesome. These competitions always end with a Banquet and a party afterwards. She was there looking quite nice but still with many guys around, I was having fun and wasn't going to compete for a girl I assumed wasn't interested. So I didn't a initiate conversation with her. Flash forward a bit. When I got home and turned my phone on I had internet again and noticed she looked me up on facebook and sent me some messages about why I didn't talk to her at the banquet and that she should probably talk to me but she's to shy. That was last week. After I got back I started talking to her a bit and again trying out some seduction stuff. I was still outcome independent. Along the way I started noticing she genuinely has one of the best personalities I've ever come across. I don't really now where this is going at the moment but right now I've got the feeling that a defining moment is coming up. I can't say I want a relationship with this girl right now but we could still have a lot of fun. What I'd like advice on is the following: how do I proceed given the knowledge that It will be at least another 2 to 3 months before I see her. The tools I have are online messengers and skype, Do I escalate sexually already to make sure to her that I'm not interested in being friends. Or maybe something else. I'm still outcome independent in the fact that if it doesn't work out then that's okay she lives in a country at least 700 miles away so chances are it wouldn't amount to anything. But still, she is so much fun.

Met a girl at a competition, she has a great personality and good looks too. Won't be seeing her for at least 2 to 3 months. How to proceed.

So basically I am a Part-Time Sailor, within the Canadian Armed Forces. I am expected to do a bunch of training, before I go to my courses this summer. I was already planning on leaving my low paying stress inducing, civilian restaurant job, but in my Notice to my current employer, I had chosen to be done in three weeks, so May 25th. but tonight I found out some kind of crappy news, my training has been changed from part-time to full-time training, until I have completed everything required for my summer course, otherwise if it isn't completed within a certain time frame, I cannot go this summer. So in order to compensate for the full-time training, and the requirements from my unit, it would be best for me to move my leaving date from May 25th, to May 6th... But the only way I can get to my unit requires about $60 a day, and because of this if I were to quit my job, I will run low on money real quick.. I get paid semi monthly, and get 10 days of back pay which is $900.... So that would cover me a little bit.............. But I don't know what to do!

Need to do full-time training with my unit, but I have a full-time minimum wage job, that I require to keep in order to get to my unit, but I can't leave for training this summer if I don't finish my training.

First... I missed over 5 assignments because I didn't have my books the second week of class. Second.. I find out I bought the wrong edition of the most important book I needed.. Third.. I find out I can't make up the work I missed, and I think my teacher got POed over a little witty remark I made and hasn't responded to the questions I've asked. Instead she makes a group announcement that is pretty much targeted at me even when I explained to her in the same email that I found out I wouldn't need the book for a few weeks because the edition I bought had the material I needed. Today, I have 2 assignments due at midnight tonight. One for English, and one for Business. I had known about both of these for 2 weeks. As a procrastinator I thought I'd have just enough time to hand in my stuff tonight. BUT TURNS OUT THE WEBSITE I NEED TO PUT MY ANSWERS IN... JUST HAPPENS TO BE DOWN THE HOUR I NEED IT. If you've heard the first rule of online classes, you'll know these online teachers can't be bargained with past the due date. I just needed to write down my frustration.. As long as I end up passing these classes (which I've managed to take the worst start) I don't care, but I hate not having my work in even if it turns out to be garbage.

Missed about 5 assignments due to not having a book. POed one of my teachers somehow, have 2 major assignments due within the hour and because the website is down I technically failed those assignments. I learned to take my online classes more seriously.

TIFU by rushing things with a girl I've been seeing. She's the amazing woman I've every met and we have do much in common. Things were going really well and decided to take things to the next level in bed. We should have waited, I should have waited. I told her about my kinks and she wasn't into them. I also told her about my experience with /r/nofap and how I need to start over. I overwhelmed her and she left saying she needs to go home and think. All I can do is how that she still accepts me and wants to see me again. It's a possibility that I ruined the best thing thing that's happened to me in years.

slept with a girl when we both weren't ready. Over shared personal information. Overwhelmed and tired so she went home. Possibly drove the woman of my dream our of my life.

I used to be best friends with this guy. We were close for about a year and a half, and then I decided that I wanted to try sleeping with him. We did, and then I left for a while. We tried to stay close while I was away, but I got frustrated that he was talking about girls while I was having a lot of personal issues. I got frustrated with him and lashed out, and we stopped talking for a few months. When I returned, I tried to reach out to him again, but after about a month I felt that we could try to be FWB. I was expecting too much out of him, wanting to hang out too much apparently, and got upset when he started pulling away, and lashed out again. We didn't talk for a few months, and then I asked to hang out with him. We did and had a decent time, but then he bailed on me a few times when we were going to hang out again, and I got frustrated and lashed out. I tried texting him to ask why he didn't want to be my friend anymore, and he said he didn't have a good reason except we weren't alike anymore. I can't stop thinking about him, although it has been a few months since he's said that. I really miss having him as a friend, and I have tried to apologize, but I guess I'm too anxious about getting that friendship back that I'm easily frustrated when he doesn't want to do the same. I feel like since I've tried reaching out so many times, it's just weird at this point. Is it weird/stalkerish

Slept with an old friend a little over a year ago, fell out after. Have tried to reach out a few times, but have then gotten frustrated with him. Is it weird to continue to reach out?

I had to make a throwaway for this story. The mental (and physical pictures) I have from it make me fucking nauseous. Plus, if Reddit wishes, I'll provide the cringe-worthy pictures as proof. I was doing a real estate appraisal with my supervisor once. When I met him at the house, he came straight to me and warned me that the house was filthy (he had gotten there earlier and already done some of the inspection). We walk around outside and nothing is too bad. The garage has about 10 trashbags of mountain dew cans and abotu 20 Little Caesar's pizza boxes on top of a mint-condition 70s (maybe) VW van. But that was nothing compared to the inside. On the inside there were MOUNTAINS OF TRASH. I'm not talking about it cluttered in one pile, no no no. IT WAS WALLS OF TRASH. There were literally pathways cut through the trash where the "walls" of the path were trash piled from the floor to the ceiling. There was a path that went from the garage door entrance past, what I assume, was the kitchen and dining room to only one spot open on a couch. The hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathroom were the only places you could see walls, simply because trash couldn't be stacked without falling down. One of the rooms was bungie-corded shut with stacks of little boxes in front of it. It would have been a pain to open it and God only knows what was in there. We also are required to see the basement. Opened the basement door - BAM instant trash. As if the basement had been flooded up to the very top of the stairs... except it was all trash. The peculiar thing was that this was all fast food trash. I don't recall seeing any single piece of trash that wasn't from some fast food chain. The bathroom!! THE BATHROOM?!?! I cannot describe it with words. Let's just say that there was shit everywhere or vomit or something. Just imagine you went to the same bathroom for the last 10 years. Also imagine that you never once hit the toilet and just let loose right in the middle of the floor (this was a sizeable bathroom btw). It made me fucking gag but I had to take a picture for appraisal purposes. I still have a picture of it somewhere, although I might break confidentiality doing so. I also had to put it in the report. I feel nauseous writing this as I picture it in my mind.

Hoarder of fast food trash piled literally from floor to ceiling with paths cut in it to make it like a maze made out of trash. Also apparently a hoarder of human waste.

This story sucks compared to some of these on here... It was winter sometime, and I was with a girl outside in an alley, after having broken away from a house party for obvious reasons. I had only met this girl once beforehand so we really didnt know eachother well. Anyways, I ended up receiving head from this girl in an alley (it was cold and I still regard myself as a trooper for minimum shrinkage) when about 4 or 5 guys walk around the corner and begin going down the alleyway... but then stop. At first I thought it was friends looking for me, and me being drunk, I paid no attention to them, the girl kept going. A few seconds pass and I realise they're still standing there. I realise they're not my friends. A few more seconds pass and they start walking towards me. The girl asks if we should stop, but damnit I wasnt going to let 4 random strangers cock block me.

I put on a show for 4 random guys as they walked past me in an alleyway while I was getting blown on a VERY COLD WINTER EVENING, DO NOT JUDGE ME.

I think this is the expression when most people run into me since Highschool. I used to be the fun loving funny guy/class clown. These days most people that run into hear about all the horrible things I've done and tend to stay away.

I don't take shit from anyone anymore and I've become pretty anti-social and sleep with people's girlfriends. (3 different girls at the time of writing this.)

The new energy-saving lightbulbs cost around 2 dollars in electricity to run...over their entire life. Now, incandescent bulbs are a little different. The 75w, 1000 hour bulbs cost between 8-10 bucks during their lifetime, but that lifetime is 10 times less than what you'd get out of the new fluorescent ones, so that could cost you significantly more.

Switch to Fluorescent light bulbs and consider any time the lights are "left on" to be worth less than the stress of nagging your wife to turn them off.

Hey, r/relationships :) A close friend offered to put in a good word for me to a guy I'm interested in. The problem: he's amazingly accomplished and I feel like I've got little to offer in return. He's a scholarship student, he's on the regional council for our local UN Youth group, he got into law school, he's an accomplished athlete etc. Me? I do a bit of freelance illustration work but not regularly (I'm not quite at a professional level yet) - and that's about all I've got. We're both science students (he's a law-science conjoint) and that feels like it's about it. My friend keeps reiterating that he's not the kind of guy who cares about this kind of stuff. Even if this is true, I'm not quite sure how my friend would drop my name in a conversation while they're away on law school's team-building camp together. They're not sorted onto the same team and they're not particularly chummy with one other so their time together is likely limited. Any suggestions for how I should go about this? Thanks in advance your time!

My close friend offered to put in a good word for me to my super accomplished crush, they're not tight and I'm not nearly as accomplished as he is - suggestions on what she could say and how to drop it into the convo?

I've had zombie nightmares for more than ten years. I don't know why it started, I was never a horror movie fan so I didn't watch tons of stuff about zombies. The first night, I was so scared when I woke, I had to look out the window to make sure they weren't there. These dreams scared me so much, I'd plan how I'd get my wife and kids out of the house if it ever happened. Here are some highlights: A) I was so happy to find a tank, a chrome tank. Then my friend showed me a clipboard proving that we'd found others and they weren't that effective. B) I was on a roof and was the second line of defense in case the broke through the chainlink. As soon as we saw them they over ran the fence and I knew I was trapped on top of the building. C) I was a woman and was showering. I was just as scared of the men as I was of the zombies. I kept looking for either. I didn't want to get killed or raped. D) I found the apartment of a renowned zombie killer who'd retired. He went out scavenging while I stayed at his place. He was overdue getting back so I went to look for him. I found him surrounded and helped him. I had to use two of his remaining shotgun shells to save him. He said, "It's ok," and slumped exhausted. E) The zombies were vampires, too. I was on the balcony and saw one notice me and it ran so fast for the door it blurred . I ran and shut off the lights in the apartment and locked the door and hoped it wouldn't find us. Watching the Walking Dead has changed the tone of my dreams. I am no longer terrified. But I am still scared. And weary.

zombie apocalypse nightmares. Please don't respond with how cool you think it would be to have them. In all of them I know there's no hope.

I've been in this relationship (my first relationship) for 3 years now. She has had boyfriends in the past (one serious right before me). Things have been going well with us, we're compatible, like each other's company, and have a lot of love for each other, but sex has been an issue lately - in addition to that, she grew distant in the last several months. We've had issues before, mainly on my part for not putting in the effort for the relationship, or not being romantic, but we've worked through them. I have an issue with going out (I'm a homebody and am fairly lazy), a fact with frustrates my girlfriend, friends, and my family to all differing degrees. In the last several months, I became complacent and stopped trying. I became comfortable and set into a routine that ultimately frustrated my girlfriend to the point where she asked for a break. Over the course of the relationship, I gained 15 pounds and haven't been able to keep it off. The break has motivated me to start doing cardio again so I can lose some weight - the weight issue has made me stressed, self-conscious, and has sapped my confidence. Still. It's hard. I've tried to work out before, but I always lose my drive. I've also had financial stress lately, with most of my money now going to bills and little left to spend. I've reorganized my finances (and got a boon from my job) so I have a more wiggle-room. Still, I've had issues with getting a job to supplement my part time job. Not for lack of trying - applications to positions in my field are responded with refusals or I'm rejected after the interview - but I have a prospective job; however, the job is far away and comes with a bad commute. Alongside all of this, I've been having issues lasting during sex. The two prior years, I had little issue. First year was great (I was a virgin so I had a hard time orgasming, but after two or so tries I got acclimated to it and stopped being stressed out) and I could satisfy her; second year was good, but my endurance was going down, and this third year my endurance has been abysmal - single digit minutes on average. I've been supplementing it with oral, but she misses the emotional connection that isn't present with oral. I'm hoping getting back in some sort of shape will help with my endurance, but I'm not sure. So financial stress, employment stress, stress with sex, have all culminated into my girlfriend wanting a break. I'm not really sure what to do apart from what I'm doing already... any advice would be welcome. Apologies for the huge wall of text... I might have needed to vent.

3 year relationship with girlfriend is on a break. Relationship stressed with issues with me lasting in sex, not giving enough attention/effort in relationship, growing distant. Having issues with self confidence, stressed about sexual performance, and worried about the relationship. Advice would be welcome.

I work in technical support for a web hosting company that has millions of domains and thousands of new accounts daily. For 8 hours a day, I troubleshoot email, website builders, server problems, FTP, and much more. About 96% of the customers I speak to are very pleasant and kind. I've had offers of housing and hospitality if I find myself in their neighborhood, and many customers say I deserve a raise. Their compliments mean a lot and make my job worth it, but the most gratifying part of my job is corresponding with that >1% of customers who are genuinely mean, crude and disrespectful customers who tell me to rot in hell for breaking something I had never touched before the beginning of the phone call (or a ticket/email that has been submitted). Today, I opened a ticket where a customer was getting 550: No Such User Here bounce back messages when he sent an email to info@domain.com - and that could be due to any number of things. Usually it's because either they spelled the email wrong, or haven't he account never existed/has been deleted. Or their hosting account could be deactivated or terminated. To investigate, I have to gain access to the restricted logs and information by providing the last 4 of secure information. Sending an email from "jsmith@gmail.com" which is not listed in the account info does not meet this standard, and instead of providing the information requested, he argued with me about what information is adequate. Called me lazy, incompetent and un-attentive. After telling him our security policy is non-negotiable, he responded with the information and gave more insults. I open the account since I gained access, and saw that the "lazy, incompetent and un-attentive" person at fault was the customer who failed to log in and create a damn email account. Sent a screenshot and an oversimplified explanation of how to utilize the tools we provide, and wished him a pleasant day. Nothing makes me happier than handling a situation and proving that the blame falls on the shoulders of the accuser. If you're going to point fingers, make threats & accusations, provide evidence that you are being wronged (like being double-billed for something: obviously, that would be our fault!) ...otherwise, I will respond with screenshots and explanations of how you are responsible for your own problems and shove your words back down your throat.

douchebag blames us for withholding services he pays for without even signing in to an account and setting it up... and calls us un-attentive and lazy? Derp.

I’ll start from the beginning. We met at peapod. I felt he came on way to strong, but as time went on, eventually he chilled out and i grew to like him more and more. Because I didn’t want to live at grandmas all the time, i started staying at his house more often. It felt more like a home than grandmas house did. I guess the more time we spent together, the more our habits and feeling grew together too. I was going to move upstate with my dad eventually. But because i was developing feelings for Chris, i was beginning to feel less keen on the idea. The only time it krept into my mind is when i felt suffocated by living at grandmas, bored with my friends, or frustrated with Chris. It didn’t help that i was nervous about moving up with my dad because we barely knew each other, and on the few occasions we met, i felt uncomfortable. The desire to leave Long Island never left, but I felt (some what) comfortable living at Chris’s house and grandmas. That is until he and his family got evicted from their apartment. His mom and young brother found a place to stay with his moms boyfriends friends boyfriend. Yeah. There wasn’t enough room for Chris to stay there. Me, with my longing to get off LI and Chris, living on his friends couches for the past week and a half, decided that we’d try to live upstate with my dad. The thing is though, that me and Chris have only been together for about seven months. Though i care for him, and we’ve practically lived together for the past three months before this whole fiasco, i feel like it’s a lot for a young couple. Not only does the time frame make me feel like it’s too soon to move 350 miles away from anyone we know, is the bickering. Before the eviction, yeah, i guess we “fought” enough. It was mostly just stupid arguments. Usually because he annoyed me in some way. I asked him if he felt like we should continue with the move upstate (and our relationship) because of how often we argue. Most of the time he says, “we argue like a married couple”. Which i feel isn;t exactly an excuse. So i guess I’m just trying to say is i have absolutely know what to do. I really like him, and i know he loves me too, but i feel like it’s a big step between the arguing and the age of our relationship, and even just the distance we would have to move. Though the thing is, i don;t know where he’d live if we didn’t move in with my dad. He’d probably live on the streets. I don’t want to desert him like that. I just don’t want to ruin our relationship by moving so far away, and then we’d pretty much be stuck once we’re there. (sorry for the wall of text)

both me and my boyfriend have no where to go, decided to move 350 miles away to live with my dad, not sure if a good idea because of frequent arguing and age of relationship.

My bf, Corey* treats me very well, appreciates my mind, "gets" my weirdness and loves me for it. He is extremely supportive of me(jobs, general life decisions, etc.). My family loves him and I love his family. The trouble is, he is a simple small-town guy. We live in a very rural area in a very small town where we both grew up. It really is a nice town, but I know in my heart that I do not want to live here for the rest of my life. I want more opportunity for myself and if I have children, I really want them to have more opportunities than I had growing up here. I have communicated this issue with him in depth several times because I can honestly see a future with him. He has told me in the past that he doesn't HAVE to live in our small town forever, but he has also retracted this statement, referring to himself as a "lifer" - as in he'll live in our small town for the rest of his life. I know the latter is how he truly feels. He hasn't traveled much at all(he is content with that)- I have lived abroad, seen the world, etc. I'm terrified of waking up, 20yrs from now, still living in this town, locked down with kids, having given up on ever moving somewhere new. Because of this, I feel that I need to end the relationship. I feel like I should take control of my life and my future now before it's too late. But is it foolish of me to end a healthy loving relationship with a guy who I connect with so strongly on almost every other level? Is love enough?

Summary: I want to move from the small town where I grew up, but my very serious boyfriend wants to live here for the rest of his life. I think he could be "the one" but not being able to move elsewhere is a deal breaker.

I dated this girl for three years, she would do very nice gestures like buy me gifts, food, clothes and was very lovey dovey but then on the other side of the spectrum she tried to change every aspect about me and used her gestures as leverage as to why I should abide to her. I wasn't aloud to see certain friends, smoke, do drugs, skip saying goodmorning or goodnight, go out without telling her where I was, skip work and she would publicly shame me telling embarrassing stories or pointing out weird things I did. After a three year buildup it became way too much, I dumped her ass and moved to BC to get away from her, she started fucking all my friends and blaming me for not loving her enough, saying I ignored her and that she likes her new boyfriend much better. She is self centered and never realized that she was the one to push me away with how fucking annoying and selfish she was towards me. But now, a year and a half later it agitates me when people feel the need to talk to me daily, or ask for help, I constantly wish people would leave me alone. No I don't want to talk, no I don't want to help you, no I don't want to chitchat or meet your family fuck off. I tried a relationship afterwards and it was just that, I hated how needy she was even though it was an average amount of neediness, I still broke up with her because it infuriated me having to cater to other peoples emotions and be there for them. I feel I have been ruined by that annoying girl, how can i fix this, how can I make relationships more manageable, any advice or even someone to talk to about the issue would be appreciated.

Annoying girlfriend nagged and annoyed me and punished me for not abiding to her annoyingness, now I hate having to talk to people all the time.

NOTE TO THE READER I will say this as succinctly and simple as I can, because the situation is kind of complicated. If you get lost, I have placed a key at the bottom of the post that identify ages, names, and relationships. The Situation I have been dating my SO, Kaylee, for 2.5 years now, we effectively live together but have two separate apartments. For as long as we have been dating, we've had a mutual friend who we will call Malcolm. Malcolm can be a bit of an asshole, but deep down he's a good guy who just hates himself. Within the last 6 months or so, Malcolm has become increasingly depressed and his primary support has been only two people: my SO [Kaylee], and Malcolm's roommate Zoe. Over the past few weeks, Malcolm hit a low point and came close to attempting suicide, actually chose a day and at the last moment stopped cutting. To help get Malcolm out of the house, Kaylee has been taking Malcolm to eat at some places downtown as friends. I've never seen Malcolm as a threat romantically so I've been cool with this happening. I know Kaylee has no physical attraction or desire to date Malcolm, so I haven't broken a sweat. Yesterday, Kaylee could tell Malcolm was even more depressed/sad than usual. She tried to coax what was wrong out of him, and he finally told her that he's been in love with her for about 5-6 six months. She doesn't know what to do about this, because Zoe has been out of town and won't get back in a few days. Kaylee doesn't trust Malcolm to be alone these next fews days until Zoe comes back, but she doesn't want his feelings for her to get any deeper. I am not good enough of a friend to Malcolm (he doesn't really like me too much), to be there with him and I don't want to complicate his attitude towards me. Yesterday after he confessed this, Kaylee reluctantly hung out with him watching tv shows and movies until she had to go back to do homework. At multiple times when Kaylee tried to leave, Malcolm made her stay. She thinks he is in a better place now than he was before, but he deeply regrets telling Kaylee of his feelings, and Kaylee also wishes he never said it as well. Kaylee feels slightly uncomfortable around Malcolm some of the time, but she will blame herself, no matter what is told to her, if he kills himself. If he kills himself, Kaylee will feel extreme guilt for being part of the reason. The heart of the problem So the heart of the problem is this: Until Zoe gets back and when Malcolm wants Kaylee for support, should Kaylee go and be there for him, or give him space until his feelings for her start to go away?

Mutual friend has feelings for my SO, SO does not want these feelings to get worse, but does not want mutual friend to be alone for extended periods of time. What do? KEY: Me- M21 my SO- Kaylee, F21 mutual friend- Malcolm, M21 Malcolm's roommate- Zoe, F21

I feel like I can do a fairly good job of getting new people to like me and to hold my own in most social groups. I am certainly not the most charming person who has ever lived and I have the occasional screwup like everyone does, but overall, I feel that most of the people I interact with like me well enough. My problem is that, since I was very awkward as a child and teenager and have worked to overcome that, I still think of socializing as a chore, and something I have to be on my toes with and do "right." I find it exhausting most of the time, and it always seems to me that everybody else is enjoying themselves more than I am, although I always look like I am having fun. To be clear, this isn't because I dislike the people. I find most people I meet to be very nice and friendly. It is just that I feel overwhelmed and like socializing is "work." What can I do for myself to relax and be able to enjoy socializing more?

I think I am decent at getting people to like me. How can I learn to relax and stop thinking of socializing as a chore?

Ugh...when I was 9 or 10 (old enough to know better), I was setting toilet paper on fire. My friend and I had discovered just how fast toilet paper burns a couple days before when we piled up about three rolls' worth in his driveway and lit it. This was top-notch entertainment at 10 years old. Anyway, I failed to notice a number of flaws in my plan to burn toilet paper on my own: 1) I was indoors. 2) I was lighting it over a garbage can. 3) The garbage can was full. 4) My mom was home. Suffice it to say, I lit a monster wad of paper that I was holding in my dumbass hand. Got burned, dropped it, fire ensued. We had a tiny sink in the laundry room where I was doing my dirty, sinful business. I tried to put the growing fire out with handfuls of water. The whole time water's spilling out of my hands, making the linoleum increasingly slippery as I try to carry water from the sink to the garbage across the room. On my last trip, I slipped and slid into the washing machine. The huge "clunk" alerted my Mom, who ran downstairs, saw me lying on the floor in a pool of water while the garbage can blazed gloriously in the corner, and promptly brought the can to the sink, putting the fire out instantly. In retrospect, not my best idea.

I set fire to toilet paper in my bathroom, which lit the garbage on fire. Then, I hurt myself trying to put it out. Then, my mom came in and put it out in two seconds.

So basically I am in love with my best friend. I am interested in women and I'm almost certain that she isn't (95% sure). I haven't known her longer than a year but I feel like I was absolutely meant to meet her and to have her in my life in one way or another. She is extremely important to me and I don't want to do anything to mess up our relationship. The problem is that I feel ridiculously obsessed with her and have felt this way since the moment I met her and I don't think she has even the slightest clue of this. I thought i was a crush but it's been more almost a year and it hasn't gone away no matter how I try. We have so much in common that we even joke about being the same person. I'm not an unrealistic person, usually in a situation like this I would either just tell her and get it over with, or make it go away myself because I don't pursue hopeless ventures. But we have the same social group, the same work place, and I can't imagine my life without her as a friend. The more I try to get over her the harder it gets. It's like my brain finds every possible thing to analyze so I can have that pinch of hope that she may feel the same. Every sign of attention, admiration, even any out of the ordinary look she gives me I feel like maybe, just maybe. It always seems like she is flirting with me (laughing at everything I say, praising me for literally anything, making jokes) but I know that isn't the case because she also talks about being married to a man in the future, etc, etc. I came to the decision just to never tell her about it and live my life just being grateful to have her around me since she makes me laugh and makes me very happy no matter what is happening in my life. But now I am having an issue with this. I've been on several dates recently, have been pursued by several women, and I have zero interest in them whatsoever. I have no romantic interests and no sexual interest in anyone, and I have no desire to fix this because I feel like no one will ever compare to my friend. I feel like this may be an unhealthy way to live, but also I feel more productive, less stressed out, and comforted by the fact that I have a potentially life long friend that may always care about me. How do you think I should handle this situation? I'd like an outside opinion, since I can't talk to any of my friends about it since they are also her friends. Thanks!

Absolutely infatuated with my straight best friend, to the point that I can't muster even an ounce of interest in anyone else. Unsure how to proceed.

It happened. I accidentally nurtured what I thought was a harmless crush into something much more. I thought I was safe, that her marriage was a sufficient subconscious deterrent, and by joking about it I wasn't feeding the flame but airing it to cool it down. But what it ultimately did was feed it oxygen until it burned out of control. The 'joking' made me ponder the feelings I would have otherwise ignored, and over time, I realized their legitimacy and their potency. Two key points about the situation: she is 11 years older than me. we are co-workers. What I need to know is how to proceed. I'm NOT considering trying to break their marriage up, I'm NOT considering trying to tempt her into cheating. What I do has to somehow involve keeping her in my life, keeping these wonderful feelings alive but not being destroyed by the impossibility of it. I guess a few relevant questions would be: Do I tell her? Do I tell anybody? Do I treat her as someone I love? Do I back off completely?

I'm in love with a married woman who is 11 years older than me, and a co-worker. How do I (or is it even possible to) move on without getting rid of her or my feelings for her?

I apologize in advance for the wall of text. Back in March, my 3 year long relationship ended badly; I was lied to and cheated on. I was madly in love with him and when that happened it practically broke me. It's been about 8 months since, and I have met an amazing guy. He is sweet and fun, he is also smart. He treats me really well and I honestly think I could spend the rest of my life with him because of how happy he makes me. I have met his whole family, a few of his friends and we spend almost everyday and night together. But when we first met, he had a friend who was interested in him. She would text him all the time, saying things like, "I miss you so much :(" and his name with a question mark, telling him she is scared and doesn't like being home alone and she even called him once. I finally couldn't take it anymore, and I talked to him about it. I explained about my past some more. He really understood, and he felt horrible for what I went through. He was sincere. I broke down, and I was completely honest. It got better. He told me he will stop talking to her, and he explained the next day that he told her she was being inappropriate and it needed to stop. I didn't see him say this to her. Eventually, he would hide her texts from me. He still does to this day. He said it was because he didn't want it to upset me. But hiding it is what upsets me, and he promised he wouldn't do it again. The next week or so, I saw a small conversation, just a reply from him and her, I didn't see what it was. He was kind of hiding it. And then last night I saw her say "I'm so sorry :'(" I asked him is she's texted him and he said no. And I asked why she kept texting him then, and he said she just isn't getting the hint. I told him I will have to say something to her if she doesn't stop. Because of how I was lied to so many times in the past, it is hard for me to believe him. I worry he texts her when we aren't together and I'm afraid he lies to me. I just need a penny for your thoughts, and any advice you can give me. I've already talked to him 4 times about this. I hate to bring it up again. Any advice would be nice, thank you all so much.

I'm in a new relationship, and because of my past relationship I am having trouble trusting. This girl won't leave my new boyfriend alone and I don't know what to do about it.

The problem really isn't more complicated than the title says. My wife of 3 years is currently pregnant, and our sex life has hit a snag. Before she got pregnant, we had sex 3-4 times a week, which was great. Each of us were happy with that amount. I actually expected her sex drive to decrease once she got pregnant (at least through the first trimester), but that was not the case. She went from wanting it 3-4 times a week to every day and sometimes more than once a day. I was actually happy with the increase for a while, but now she has hit her second trimester and her sex drive has increased even more. She can easily go twice a day or more, but that is too much for me. My sex drive is not that high to begin with, but even if it were, I'm just too tired to go at it sometimes. In addition to getting stuff ready for the baby, I've been picking up extra shifts at work to make a little extra money, so I don't always feel up to having sex when I get home. I'm happy to try and accommodate her as much as I can with toys or oral if I don't want sex, but she mostly wants PIV, which becomes a problem if I can't perform. She takes it personally and thinks that I'm not attracted to her, which is not true. I know that she's become even more conscious of her size now that she's getting bigger, so that certainly has to be contributing, even though I try to make a conscious effort to tell her how beautiful she looks each day. I don't doubt that it's hard for her to be turned down. I try to do it as nicely as possible, but it never makes a difference. She just gets upset and cries, which makes me feel awful. I just need help reframing this. I've tried to convinced her that I am still just as attracted to her as I was before she got pregnant, but she thinks I'm just being nice. If she won't believe me, what am I supposed to do when she wants PIV but I can't perform? How do I get her to see that I'm just tired sometimes or not in the mood and that it has nothing to do with her body?

Wife's sex drive increased when she got pregnant. I am struggling to keep up, and she takes it personally if I can't perform. How do I get her to see that I'm just tired sometimes and that it has nothing to do with her body?

I love my boyfriend and am happy with our relationship of 6 years. But occasionally, I find myself in bouts of sadness, insecurity, or jealousy, especially when I think about the things he said when breaking up-- how he stopped loving me, how he could do better, how I'm not who he thought he wanted (he's sporty and I'm nerdy), how I'm not his ideal (I'm 5'2, 94 lbs, but he prefers taller girls, more toned girls), how he started to feel burdened by me (cooking for a second person), etc. I'm not perfect. I put a lot of pressure on the relationship and on him, so I get why he said some of those things. We broke up for about three months, and it broke me. It took me a long time to stop crying and be more independent, let alone get over the breakup. I threw myself into soccer and basketball and tried to get more fit and more attractive for myself. I bought a dog and devoted my attention and love towards him and myself. But he fell for a guy (he's bi) within the first week/month of our breakup. This made me feel like shit. He lied so many times. Pretty sure they fucked, or he was at least planning to, as I found a new box of condoms in his drawer when I moved back in. I have a birth control implant. We never use condoms, so it couldn't be for me. When we got back together, he retracted everything he said and told me he'll be better. But a month later, I heard him mutter his name in his sleep. Ok, whatever. It's a dream. But fast forward another month, I see him and a mutual friend together. I want to surprise him, so I sneak up on him and overhear him say, "I wanted to date him. Miss him a lot and he was cool and fun and I was happy." This happened a 1/2 year ago. I confronted him about it and broke up with him. But we ended up getting back together within that week. I can tell he's been trying harder in the relationship and is genuine when he continuously apologizes. He's guilt stricken by what he did. But I can't help but be hurt sometimes. I can't help but think that he would prefer the other guy's dick over me, the other guy's touch over me. I can't help but think this. I can't help but think of the things he said to me, and feel like he settled. I feel like I love him more than he loves me, I care more, and I can't help but cry. I want to make these feelings go away cause they really hurt. How can I reconcile my feelings about all of this? I know he's been trying and I love him very much. But I'm scared and insecure.

boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me about a year ago. He fell for a guy while we were broken up. Need help overcoming insecurity.

We broke up almost a year ago because our families did not approve of each other. I still care about her and I know she still cares about me. We were great together and never had any issues apart from the families. We are both of Indian background so family approval is important. The twist is that she seeing someone her family approve of and they will be officially engaged in December. She thinks the guy is nice and he treats her well button at the same time he isn't me. She says she is happy with him but I know she still wants me. So, do I let her get engaged to this guy or do I win her back?

ex-girlfriend due to get engaged to someone else. Do I try to win her back? Edit: posted using a cellphone so unable to add flairs.

Here]( is the post that I made about a month ago. Basically, I told them both to not worry about me any more. That is, I explained to them that I was not going to be involved in the situation and I would not attempt to ask the girl out or anything like that so long as they were together. I also said I was doing it because they are my friends and I didn't want to hurt them or myself any more, which is true. And so I wished them all the best. But now it's been almost a month since I told them I would stop trying, and I find myself thinking about her more than ever. I know that it's hard to let go of someone you care about, but at the same time I've had girlfriends in the past that I've liked a lot, and when they broke up with me, sure it hurt but I managed to get back on my feet in a week or so. With this girl, I find that whenever I'm close to being okay with the situation I somehow get pulled back in emotionally further than I was before. I can't let go. I know that it's a good idea to give yourself some space in situations like these, and I've been doing my best to do that. But the problem is I have so many shared classes with the both of them that even if I manage to spend a few hours away from them, we're still forced to be in the same room for a couple hours every day. And I mean, just to be clear it's not like I don't like them any more- they are my friends, I do like talking to them individually, and I care about them both. It's just that when they're together or when people talk about them being together I get really worked up about it inside. I really want to find a way to deal with this situation as soon as possible because it's gotten to the point where I've been losing sleep over it. I'll spend an hour or two at night just lying in bed thinking about her and getting angry at myself for not asking her out first, or being sad that she's with my friend and not me, even though I said I wouldn't do that any more.

I'm having a hard time dealing with the follow-up to my previous problem. Reddit, how do you get over not being able to be with someone you love?

To give the back story, my girlfriends laptop is about 2 years old and the harddrive decided to crap out on her. Being the good boyfriend I decided to fix it up and put in a newer and better harddrive (SSD) so it would boot up even quicker. Boot from off to start in under 11 seconds. The excited me decides to call her over, and boot the computer with a timer right next to us, BAM, 10 second boot time and I look over with a grin like 'yeah, I did that'. She looks at me and says oh, thats how fast it always booted. She can see that after all that effort how disappointed I was after she had said that (it really was a big improvement from the old laptop). This is where the TIFU occurs: She decides to say sorry by putting her hand on me and says 'I want to turn your softdrive into a harddrive', and puts my hand on her chest. I respond with 'I don't know, thats a pretty floppy drive.'

fixed gf's comp, she felt bad for a joke she made, tried to seduce me to make up, responded by calling her chest a floppy drive.

Alright, Loseit. I've posted here before, so my pics might look familiar, but I need some halp! Here's my fairly long story: I lost nearly 100lbs about five years ago (210-220ish down to 130). I lost it by counting calories and playing lots of DDR. After I started working at a restaurant, and my DDR pad broke, I gained 30 of it back. I also didn't have a scale during this time, so it was very gradual and I had noooo idea. After working out more regularly and cutting out food from the restaurant, I got back down to about 135. Great, right? I got on the scales today, and I'm back up to 140-145 (I'm 5'2, btw). I am really sad about this. I bought Kinect and am hoping that that jump starts me a little bit, as dance is my favourite way to exercise, but I need some tips on how to stick to it. My husband already bought a bunch of healthy food that we know we will eat and threw out the completely unhealthy stuff. Some of our downfalls/lame excuses: he works a 12-9pm job whereas I typically work from 9am-9pm or 9am-5pm, so we have to take our lunches or, as is my usual method, try to scrounge up something “healthy” at the store. Neither of us are very good at waking up earlier than nine, and I think this hurts our ability to get a good start to our day. Also, since I spend 12 hours on my feet with only one 15 minute break, I am exhausted when I get home. Plus, many of the people in this area (Midwest) are so fat that I'm mocked when I bring my lunch or make a noticeable effort to eat healthy food. Some have even accused me of having an eating disorder (seriously). I guess what I'm asking is: I can't seem to find the motivation to completely stick to my diet, and always seem to start sliding back. Thankfully, I catch it before it gets too far.. but what do you do to stay on track? How do you keep motivated to exercise? How do you get yourself up early/find energy? How do you deal with criticisms? I like how I look in clothing, but I look gross naked--and I feel terrible all the time. Give me some tips, please! :D And since you guys enjoy these (I know I do!), here is a handy-dandy before, after and now photo montage , but it really doesn't help much since I'm wearing a corset.

Do you have any weight loss tricks for someone like me (a cook living in a rural area 20 miles from town who works weird, long hours surrounded by unhealthy relatives and coworkers)?

I work in the Produce Department at a Super Target. During the summer we have apricots. One night around 10:30 an older gentleman walks up asking if we have any more apricots. I had some on the cart I had out so I put them out for him. He proceeds to stuff a bag full of dozens of them and then talks to me about how the cyanide in apricot seeds is the cure for cancer and the government is trying to cover it up and they arrested the guy who discovered the 'cure'. Refers me to a website called ApricotsFromGod that I go to later and it echoes every word he said to me. He also had many missing teeth and interpretively acted out being cyanide and attacking cancer cells.

I met a crazy old conspiracy theorist who's hellbent on killing himself with apricot seeds that the government is denying can cure cancer (there is cyanide in the seeds...) Also here's the website he wrote down for me: [Apricots!](

I lived in an upscale apartment complex with my wife and brother about 10 years ago. We had some friends over one night and were all smoking cigarettes and socializing out on the porch. We lived in an upstairs apartment and had a great view of the mountain range about 5 miles to the west of our complex. I remember the sun had already set, but it wasn't totally dark out. The international airport of our city was about 20 miles north of our complex so if you were on our porch looking out to the west at the mountain range that ran north-south, you could watch the passenger jets approaching the airport, maybe one every 5 minutes would pass by. And I could see the flashing lights of the jets very clearly. So on this night i was the only one of seven people on our porch that was looking out west, the other six including my wife and brother were facing east looking at me or facing north. So none of the others saw what I did, they only witnessed my jaw hitting the floor when everything went down. So, all of a sudden there was a flash in the sky that looked like lightning had struck somewhere to the southwest of our complex and out of my sight. I thought there must be rain coming. Then two more times it happened. I didn't realize till much later that there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I remember the sun had already set, but it wasn't totally dark out. It had been a very clear evening. So clear that I could see the lights on these planes that were 3-4 miles west of us. After these flashes happened, another passenger jet enters my view, just like the few before it, but then the jet itself flashes white and then starts to turn and descend as if one of its engines had just gone out. And this is when everyone starts to ask me, "What is it?" And just as I started to realize that I was witnessing a passenger jet falling to crash and kill all those aboard, the fucking jet stops dead in mid air and glows bright green!!!! Not a second after it started glowing green it shot so fast in a straight line over the west mountains that it was gone before anyone else on the deck could turn around to see what I was so freaked about. There are military proving grounds about 100 miles west of those apartments, so I always thought that there was some advanced technology that the military had that we'll here about in 20 years or so. Definitely a flying object that I could not identify. And I was sober that night. Do any of you have any possible explanations?

I saw what I thought was a pessenger jet about to crash stop dead in the air and glow bright green before shooting off 90 degrees in another direction so fast that in less than a second it was out of sight.

I get it that what he did was wrong. It was disgusting that he did it. I get the fact that he was your dad's friends, and that he was like an uncle to you. BUT HE DIDN'T RAPE YOU!! You may have PTSD from it, your depression started with it. But you allowed it to happen. You told me yourself that you LET him do it. I don't fucking understand how after 13 years, you still have the nightmares. How do you expect me to believe this? We sleep in the same bed at night, and not once have you woken me up by screaming and flailing in your sleep, nor have you had nightmares. I understand that you had PTSD growing up. I understand that you were affected by it. What I don't understand is how it affected you so much if you let him do it. I'm very different compared to you, the main reason I don't understand this.............. I'm sorry. It frustrates me that I can't help, it makes me feel completely useless and like I'm worthless. But I can't help you if you don't fucking tell me EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I can't do anything if I don't know what he did, or what he said. You haven't cut in over 3 years, so don't tell me that you're afraid of "giving in to the temptation" I had to say this somewhere, but I can't say it to anyone I know. I had to vent SOMEWHERE

21 year old SO(f) was tricked into allowing her dad's 55-year-old friend to molest her and convince her to give him head in the fourth grade

So, I'm a pretty anxious person, and often have trouble with negative self-talk. I think a lot of this stems from having a narcissistic, impossible to please, manipulative and sometimes cruel older sibling, without my mother being in the picture. I also dated a d*ck from the age of 19-24, who would frequently criticize me. Lately, I keep snapping or being downright mean to my poor fiance, any time he says something that might be possibly viewed as critical. He isn't a pushover, and when I do something that bothers him, he will speak up, but he is the sweetest guy and I know it comes from a good place. Examples of times I've snapped at him lately: He says, "Why did you put this shirt in the dryer? Remember, this is the new shirt I told you can't go in the dryer." I snap, then cry. He interrupts a story I'm telling to a new friend to add a detail from his POV (literally, I am the worst culprit for interrupting stories), and I give him such a death glare that the friend clearly notices. While hosting the debate last night, he was grilling out back, and I ask if I can help with anything. He says - "I don't know, does anything look like it needs doing inside?" He only meant that he hasn't been inside for 20 minutes and doesn't know what needs doing (i.e. chip bowl running low, etc.), but I snapped at him for being "mean" and stormed away. ... It keeps happening again and again. Its been bad for about two weeks, and we've only been engaged for about 7. I just don't know why I am doing this. I keep assuming the worst of his words, assuming he is being critical or mean. And in turn, I'm mean to him. So now I'm a jerk, and his feelings are hurt that I am assuming the worst. I'm not the best at communicating (I'm working on it), and this is just making those issues much worse. How do I turn this around? He just says, well stop snapping at me! But its so automatic lately, I don't know how to break the pattern. I love him and this should be such a happy time! EDIT (Update): Thanks guys, I appreciate the feedback. I've decided to get back into therapy, and have scheduled an appointment for next week. I need to get my self-talk in check so I don't snap at him unfairly, and I need to respect that he chose me as his partner, and stop worrying about whether he "deserves better."

Newly engaged. I keep snapping and/or overreacting any time my fiance says something corrective - assuming he is being critical or cruel, when he is not.

This sounds just like my last long term SO. We had been best friends since our Freshman year in high school, and we started falling for each other. We started dating end of our Junior year. When I think of the first 9 months of our relationship I remember happiness and loving him with all I had. But the next 9 months I remember every little thing he did annoyed me. I was sarcastic and rude to him, but I thought I still loved him. When we went to different colleges it was only 5 days before I was involved with someone else. I was ashamed at how easy it was for me to cheat on him. I regret it because I hurt my best friend, but it made me realize that my frustration with him and my unexplained rudeness was just my heart trying to make my brain realize that you can't stay in a relationship because it's comfortable.

Same thing happened to me. I realized that those feelings are just your subconscious trying to tell yourself that you need to get out. If you stay in the relationship, you will only end up resenting him more and more.

I tell you why this is. Women are always, always, ALWAYS implied to, that they have to compete for things, to succeed. Be the best, the nicest, the sweetest, the prettiest, the hottest, the sassiest, the bitchiest...it goes on. Often all these things at once. That's where you get the stereotype of the queen bee from in high school movies...these girls, who try to do everything, to OUTDO all the other girls. (Often if youre rich or extremely pretty early on, you can draw a gang of girls to your side to support you in your quest to be the best - and that's where the bitchiness comes from too, pushing on to be 'grown-up'; make yourself look stronger by putting other girls down.) Guys don't have to face this so much. (At least, straight guys, gay guys have it slightly different because you don't have your guy-buddies as auto-backup). Guys are told to bond over interests; so you get guy sub-groups. Think of characters in films - smart guy, nerdy guy, smartass guy, jock guy, the big tough guy, the funny guy...and the girl. The girl is everything. Girls are told that their interests are just to do with body, family...really insular interests. And because that's the 'in' thing, its rarer for girls to form a group around something different. How many groups of geeky exclusively female friends united around something do you know? Probably even less in a high school environment where you lay the foundations for your social future. Ah, long post. But

women (despite being 50% of people) arent treated, since a very young age, as being as varied and interesting as men. So competition to be the girl that gets noticed as a girl, or as a person, starts early and often gets ingrained.

ok so long story short, im going on a trip with my GF with weekend for 6 days. This has been planned for quite some time so we've been really looking forward to it especially since she has moved away for awhile for her job. Ive been having hard times with money and it was really bumming me out cuz I want to make this trip awesome. So for like the 2nd time ever, I asked my dad to borrow some money. Initially he offered up like $300, me being me declined and said that was way too much. He said $100 I agreed and he said he'd give it to me tomorrow when he picks me up for the airport. Well a little later in the day, I go to my parents house for dinner and as I'm walking out my mom slips me $100 and tells me "dont tell your dad, I want you to have fun". I hate borrowing money, I hate money. I took it cuz she seemed so sincere. The question is do I still take the money from dad? Or just decline tomorrow and tell him i worked something out.

Asked dad to borrow money, said ok come get it tomorrow. Today my mom gives me money tells me not to tell dad. What do I do?

First update]( [Original]( So I didn't even think I needed to make this but I really don't get what to do. I stopped texting him from the app when I realized he was just catfishing. Not a scammer. He wanted pictures and to sext. That sort of thing. Creeped me out. I couldn't even pretend to go on with this anymore so I called him and just told him what was up. That I found his online profiles because I googled him (like I do every guy I date) and he was really mad. He started shouting into the phone how I invaded his privacy, how dare I, that he was going to sue me, that he was just having fun and it was none of my business. I hung up on him and blocked his number using iOS 7. However, what should I do if I see him in person? We run into each other a lot as that's how we met in the first place. Like one of those people you constantly see.

Guy I was dating was just catfishing. He's mad I found out. I blocked his number. However, I don't know what to do if I see him in person.

Okay, let's keep in mind: -I am in college -I am not good at conflict or arguing (I freeze up and break out in hives) -My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years In my lease it states that the apartment is only for me and my three roommates. Family members and temporary guests are allowed (word for word). That's all good! Now, my boyfriend and I have very busy schedules yet have an active sex life (duh!) so we usually leave sexy time for bedtime. We make love, cuddle, then fall asleep. He comes over a few times a week (4 at most, at the very most). I don't really talk to my roommates at all (literally, a phrase per week) and stay in my room due to the amount of homework I have. My boyfriend does the same; therefore, we are in my room studying unless we make dinner together or take my dog out. So, we aren't bothering anyone beyond one chick (she's super religious; I'm not at all) saying that it makes her uncomfortable to have a man in our apartment because the lord says it's not cool. NOW she complained to my landlord and now he yelled at me saying that my boyfriend is not allowed to spend the night at all, EVER because he is "considered a permanent tenant and it's just not right". I think it's total bullshit. I have read the lease thoroughly and it only says temporary guests are allowed. I think he is just making his own definition for "temporary" and I don't think it's fair. The difference between temporary and permanent for me is, permanent means that they are actually living there...permanently! He can't just make a word mean what he wants it to mean. It does not specify in the lease the number of days that are acceptable and I feel as if he is using a biased definition of the word and if he wants to add modifications to the lease, like rules, then he must write it out and all the tenants and himself need to sign it for it to valid (as stated in the lease). Additionally, he says "it's just not right" and that that's not the way he runs his buildings; that is bullshit. I don't think he can legally not allow someone to not stay overnight because of his beliefs. He says I am making a mistake but, frankly, I don't give a damn what he thinks. It's my life, he cannot tell me what to do outside of the lease we agreed upon. I am more than happy to come up with terms that we ALL agree on. I don't want to just be bullied and pushed around. What can I do?? Am I just being irrationally upset or am I right in thinking this is wrong? Keep in mind: my boyfriend has his own place, we are very stable and loving towards all, and it's neither fair nor legal to do this (I think).

My landlord is essentially banning my long-time boyfriend from my apartment because of reasoning not stated in the lease. P.S. Sorry if it was more ranting than anything. I'm still in hives from the arguing.

I've been involved in a relationship with my current boyfriend [22m] for about five months. He is my first serious relationship. We see each other intermittently for a week or two at a time, but it is mostly long-distance. Shortly after committing to the relationship, we discussed our sexual histories. At the time, I had had one sexual encounter, a brief, casual trading of oral sex. However, I lied and said I had another one-time partner, with whom I had engaged in (protected, like I would) anal sex. I unfortunately embellished with some detail, saying I found it unsatisfying and the partner treated me rather poorly. I think this was to garner some understanding toward my inexperience with anal sex once my boyfriend and I became sexually active. I know now that my partner doesn't care a lick about my sexual history, and that he is a wonderful guy and completely understanding about my limited history. I want to do right by him and tell him that he will be my first (the distance makes us take it slow, and neither of us is really looking to rapidly escalate our sex lives just yet). But at this point I don't know if that's really doing right by him, or if it's just to get this (rather minor) weight off my chest. As rarely as it comes up, I feel bad and dishonest (go figure) maintaining the lie. A few questions, I guess: Is this a breach of trust? If so, is it a significant one? Would you want to know if your partner had less experience with sex than they had let on (or explicitly told you)? Will this even matter in another five months?

Embellished my sexual history a little bit to not seem so virginal to my new boyfriend. Now that he's not so new anymore, I know he wouldn't care, but the dishonesty might sting. Would he want to know? Should I feel as bad as I do?

Original Post]( First of all, I want to thank everyone for the great advice. This was my first time posting about a relationship and I found this very useful. Someone made a point about how Brian's mom may see me this way because it seems like I am mooching off her son. I can understand why you may think this; I foolishly forgot to mention my job situation. Prior to moving to the NL the first time, I saved a lot of cash (Bartending, Waitressing and Writing, whist finishing my Undergrad) I had four long term freelance writing jobs that dwindled down to one as of January 2015. Yes, my guy handles the main bills, but I contribute for groceries, dates, my personal things, school etc. However, after my dad passed away, I took a leave of absence from work and am still on this leave considering how unbelievably time consuming my thesis is. About the situation with my boyfriend and his mom: I mentioned that I made an anonymous post to my boyfriend and if he had wanted to read the advice. He said he absolutely wants to, but that right now isn't the right time to discuss how to handle his mother. All of our energy needs to go to his dad, and I understand that. I told him I support him mentally and that I know what he's going through. He understands that what his mother said and the way she behaved was insulting towards me and already mentioned something to her. She apologized to me and said she doesn't want me to feel this way and that right now we are all focusing on his dad. I still agree that there needs to be a deeper discussion about how she has acted, especially in the past about pressing me to be Dutch, but I do see that now is not the right time. Over the past few days, his dad got worse; may have had a stroke. They are looking into it; doing a lot of routine tests and for now, he is stable and doing well. It was a terrible accident and the doctors say he is EXTREMELY lucky to be alive- and we are all thankful for that. Thanks again to all for the kind words and advice. :)

BF will read advice and we will talk with the MIL when the time is right. Right now, it's about supporting his dad and remaining peaceful.

One day I came to be inspired to do Tough Mudder, and asked some close friends if it would be cool for me to train and join a team with them. I asked this on a few occasions, but each time I was ignored or the subject was immediately avoided. So I did what any sane man should do. I began training solo, every night without fail. I started doing the C25K and numerous bodyweight fitness programs. After a while I lost the drive to do the bodyweight fitness programs, but I kept going hard on my running and eventually after many trials of injuries from shin splints through to a broken ankle, I successfully completed my first ever half marathon with a pace of 5:30/km. Around that time I started catching up with an old friend who works as a personal trainer. I explained to them my situation and now we’re both training and entering as a team together for Tough Mudder (she makes an awesome slave driver too)! There isn’t a day that goes by, rain hail or shine, where I don’t train. My biggest motivation is the thought of seeing my “friends” faces when I cross the finish line ahead of them. However the one thing that is beginning to drive me more and more is the understanding that as long as I stick with my goals, I can make anything happen!

Couldn't run 100m. was shunned by people I thought were friends when I asked to train for [Tough Mudder]( with them. Just completed a half marathon at good pace. Can't wait to kick their arses in Tough Mudder!

Living together for almost two years now. Dating for 5+. He returns home from work just as I'm waking up to get ready for my job. When I return home, he's still asleep and doesn't wake up until the last minute. Our fights start when he's on his first day off of the week (usually mid-week, no weekends). I'll admit that I start the fights, not on purpose, but I do. I get excited that we'll actually get to see each other and eat dinner together and actually have a conversation. It always ends up that he sleeps until his usual wake up time and I'm left, feeling rejected, in our living room. I feel rejected because I want to see him for the few hours I'm able to before I have to go to bed and it just seems like he doesn't care. My question is: Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this? I know to some extent I need to get over it, but if anyone else has experience, I'd love to hear your tips on the matter.

Boyfriend and I have opposite schedules. I get upset when he still sleeps til normal wake-up time on his days off. Would appreciate insight and advice on how to get over it/deal with it.

My friend has been talking to this guy for about four months. They have only started seeing each other in person for about 4 weeks because she had an internship over the summer in NYC. They aren't even official. Now that she is home....and I hate to say this..... she has been acting immaturely towards the whole situation. She expects him to text her back immediately, hang out with her more often and not cancel plans ever (even when he wasn't feeling well). If he doesn't do this she gets sad/anxious/nervous and talks to me about it. This is an awkward situation for me to be in because I am trying to tell her how to be successful and I don't know if it is helping at all. It puts me in a weird spot.

My best friend has just started to date this guy and is acting immature. How should I handle this without seeming like I am taking this guys side and not my friends?

In the past 5 months she has been to three funerals. She's only 18 and eventhough she's a really strong person, it's too much for her to handle. We keep a long distance relationship so I can't go to her and comfort her in person, only via MSN for now. Just 30 minutes ago her grandmother passed, she doesn't know what to do with herself and she guilts herself for what happened. She got 20.000 DKK (danish currency) as a christmas present from her grandmother in the mail minutes after she had found out her grandmother passed. She guilts herself with the fact that when she visited her grandma yesterday, she said "Good night, I will see you tomorrow" but never did. I'm running out of words to tell her, help me please.

Long distance relationship girlfriend has had a lot of family members taken away from her, don't know what to tell her anymore that will make her feel better.

I was breaking up a fight between two drunks and I got one into the hold position. I was just about to take him to the ground but he kept trying to kick me, so I wrapped my leg around his (to hold him in place so I could get him down easier) At the same time my coworker got the other one in a hold position, but she broke loose. Right away, she went to attack the guy I was holding. She punched him but I used my free hand to push her off. The combination of him taking a hit and me turning at the same time to push the woman caused the top of his body to go left over my leg and because I had his leg locked, his knee broke. It sounded pretty bad when it broke but luckily the police were already there (because of a different fight) so they took him to the hospital.

bar fight. Knees are weak. Edit: this whole situation happened in roughly 30 seconds from the time I intervened in the fight until his knee broke. It was all very quick.

I am a sophomore in college and I have been working with a start up for a year. I never expected payment; this was primarily for learning. I learned the owner was paying other for the same amount of work I was doing. I feel like I should be paid. The owner is looking into investors and making a solid team. He wants me on his team. This would involve me owning equity and remaining in the business for 2 to 5 years. I do graphic design. He said he'd paid for things; never did. I, stupidity, let it slide. This happened about 3 times. I recently told him that I didn't want to be on the team and I would like payment for the work I've previously provided for him. The total is around 8k but he only wants to pay for the work he used. which would be about 4k. (He is arguing he paid for 2 things out of that 4k. So realistically if I do get paid it would be about 1.5k) He's given me about 750$ - 500$ would cover a flyer and failed launch. 250$ was for an unrelated social media thing. The reason a lot of stuff didn't get used is because of his miss guidance (wrong formatting/coloring/scrapping things all together.) He has paid another graphic design and is giving her equity (because she cried!) I feel like I've been used and disrespected. Even though I have told him I no longer want to work with him; He still comes to me for feedback and consultant work. Should I demand payment and cut ties with him all together? I'm really at a loss of what to do.

I did a years worth of work for person (no payment) and feel used. Don't know if I should argue about getting paid, get equity, stay civil, or cut ties.

This is pieced together from what i remember, and what my coworkers told me. Backstory - i work in a busy mexican restaurant and cinco de mayo is our busiest day by far. We take a weeks profit in 12 hours of being open. After the shift on cinco, the owner gives kitchen staff drinks on the house. Night started with a round of knob creek, and some pitchers of dos equis. Fast forward two or three hours of heavy drinking, much fun was had. I black out. Here is where the coworkers memory comes in. I was running around the whole place making a fool of my self so the pantry cook decides its time to call a cab. I'm so drunk i think he is calling the cops to come put me in the drunk tank, so i grab my skate board and attempt to leave. SMASH, flat on my face. Harder than i figured it would be with a head full of hundred proof bourbon and a 16 hour shift... his girlfriend takes my skate board and we start walking in the direction of my house ( i thought). Apparently, the whole walk (about two miles) they kept asking me which way my house was, to which i replied ''HOME" and pointed the wrong direction down the road. After a long time of me walking a few steps then falling firmly onto the sidewalk, then repeating the sad fiasco over and over again, they figure its really time for a cab. Again, i run. So they give up. I applaud their effort in hindsight, but apparently i then called my girlfriend and tell her my coworkers are fucking assholes and they left me on the side of monroe ave and i'm wasted and i'm not having fun anymore. My memory comes back right about when i fell into a bush and see Blue lights flashing. Cops saw me fall... OH FUCK. I got lucky, they brought me home. I was so drunk i didn't recognize my own apartment building and tried to get them to keep driving, only to have them inform me this is the address on my i.d.. I come to about six hours later, naked in my own bed. Walked out towards the bathroom for an advil, see my pants right inside the door, shirt soon after, bag of pot/wallet/everything that was in my pockets thrown around the house. dog looks nervous, my head hurts like hell. hungover for two days. This was the first time i'd drank more than a beer or two in about a year, and boy did i regret it. Needless to say i won't be repeating the same feat this year on cinco de mayo. That, reddit, is the drunkest i have ever been. By a long shot.

line cook at a mexican restaurant partook in a cinco de mayo celebration only to realize knob creek and mexican beer do infact cause a blackout if consumed in high quantities in a short period of time. cops brought me home.

This FU happened last night but I'm still reeling from it right now. I work at a youth detention center which, if you aren't familiar with, can be very exhausting work. Being a recent college graduate, I still live at home with my mom and two younger brothers. My younger brothers are very grab happy and tend to help themselves to whatever they want in my room. So I get home around 1130 last night, exhausted and famished. I settle for a quick dinner of microwaved taquitos and head straight to bed as I have to be back into work by 6am the next day. Upon my arrival to my room, I realize that my pillow is noticeably absent from my bed. After a quick search around my room I realize that one of my brothers must have taken it. Being as exhausted as i was, I was in no mood to travel through the house, in search of my pillow. I decided to improvise a substitute (I have a pillow top mattress, so I basically just spoon with the pillow anyway. ) while conducting my search, I stumble upon a long forgotten cotton comfort underneath my bed, still tucked away inside a pillow case and everything. "Perfect" I think to myself as I tuck it between my legs and drift off into the kind of sleep that only a 15 hour shift can provide. I have the most wonderful dream about myself filling with energy, floating peacefully through the ambient abyss. Somber vibrations melt over my body as I drift through a sea of tranquility. Wait... These vibrations are actually pretty intense. Cue spiders. EVERYWHERE. On my legs. Crawling up my back. In my hair. On my nose. ON MY COCK 'N BALLS. MY COCK 'N BALLS GUYS! Did I mention I'm arachnophobic? Hundreds? You betcha. Thousands? Quite possibly. Millions? No reddit, not millions. I mean honestly... the sheer logistics alone of fitting a million spiders into one room... just stop it. Anyway, turns out the abandoned pillow I spooned with had become a nesting ground for one huge slut of a spider and I burst all of the egg sacs with one fell squeeze of my sleepy thighs. After what felt like several minutes of my best Robert Plant impression via "the immigrant song" intro, I bolted to the shower and scrubbed myself raw. I haven't been back into my room since. I called an exterminator which is scheduled for Monday but there'sa good chance I'll set fire to my room before he gets here.

spiders Edit: syntax Edit 2: a thousand thank yous to the user who popped my gold cherry. Not a million though, a million thank yous is just logistically impossible. Much too many for any one person to give to any other person.

Background info: I used to have feelings for this girl, but they're long in the past and I made is absolutely clear that our friendship would stay the way it is, she completely agreed. She has accepted that the past is in the past. But also, She has been ignoring my texts and leaving them for later (her friends (multiple) will tell me they received texts from her while mines goes Unreplied for 4-5hours sometimes.) On 12/30, I met up with her and ate lunch, followed by a drive to a nearby lake where we took pictures, walked, and continued to talk. We also exchanged late Christmas gifts, I gave her a handwritten letter in which I described our friendship, which has been filled with rumors and gossip from outsiders at our high school and told her to be less reticent around me. She texted me after reading it saying she completely agreed with what I stated about being more open. In the past, any little rumor would have her avoiding me for a good week or two, but she agreed that it was silly of her to avoid me and agreed to change her ways. Now it's New Year's Day, and she is continuing her ways of ignoring my texts and leaving them Unreplied, while her friends are telling me about plans they've made. Is she trying to send me a implicit message of some sort? Or did she lie with what she said?

What does it mean when a girl intentionally leaves a guy friend's texts for later to reply (when it's convenient) but replies to all her female friends in the meantime?

It's late, so short (there's a bit more to it than this) version- On disability living with my then-fiancee. He got really depressed abusive due to frustrations with life/work and finances. Wound up isolated because he blamed his problems on me to avoid hanging out with his friends, so they hated me and I couldn't get out to make my own. He wound up getting really abusive. Broke up with him but couldn't afford to move out. Had surgery done to try to fix a physical part of my disability, he kicked me out 10 days after surgery. Nearest family was 600 miles away and wouldn't take me in because I had a dog. My SERVICE DOG to help with my issues, mind you. Next nearest was 1200 miles away- The father who abused me as a child and I didn't speak to as an adult. He drove over, helped me get my car back from my ex, and took me to live with him. Three months of fighting that state's government to get my disability insurance and checks sorted out, I finally start making progress when dad's wife calls me lazy and kicks me out. Years of abuse from my ex and constant instability and by now I'm a complete wreck. Paranoid, nervous, agitated, and my panic disorder's kickin pretty hard. Made some friends online in an MMO during those three months, no where to go, 2 guys I've never met face to face offer to take me in... about 7-800 miles away. Mom (yeah, the woman who wouldn't take me in) screams about them going to rape and/or murder me. I told her it wouldn't be the first time I was raped, but she wouldn't take me in, so what the hell was I supposed to do? If they killed me, they'd only be doing me a favor. Took a self-endangering leap of faith and drove to meet the guys. Did I mention I was a freakin unstable mental/emotional wreck? Fought, argued, didn't get along. Fought with the government again for disability insurance. Took a year to get THAT sorted out and guess which state was being a pain in the ass again. Bad as things got, one of the guys stayed by my side, though we fought and argued like hell. Him being the first person to stick by me no matter what helped me start to heal. I calmed down. Stupid State got my insurance sorted out, and I not only managed to repair my relationship with both guys, but I count one among my best friends now and the other (the one who wouldn't give up) I'll be marrying soon. Never would have met them if it hadn't been for becoming disabled and people being assholes. So what'd I learn? Possessions are fleeting; you don't NEED anything other than shelter, food, and warmth. As long as you're alive, things can always get better. There ARE good people out there.

Abused, disabled, homeless twice in 3 months, fought the government, mentally broke down, then found some really awesome people and my soon-to-be husband . (Edit for formatting.)

This is a simple FU. I mean, it happens to everyone right? RIGHT? Ok, so I went to the library to pick up a new Quantum Mechanincs book by by david J. griffiths. But I had a lot of time today since I wasn't really doing anything. So, I decided to sit in and read it. I like to listen to music while I read and I decided to listen to [solace]( Granted, its a sad song but whatever, I wasn't sad and I love earls music. Anyways, I have my note-taking stuff ready, and I take out my earphones, and plug them in half way into my phone (I tend to do this so that i have time to put the earphones in my ear then I usually just push the cord in.) But my brain said a big 'forget that' today because I forgot all about it and started reading. The music was still playing in my earphones though, just not as loud. So i turned it up. ALL THE WAY. I get through one chapter with the song on repeat and notice peoples stares. At one table, three people were staring at me with genuine concern like i was homeless or something. At this time, I decided I should probably stop and get out. I take out my earphones and hear music. MY music. Blasting at full sound. I have an lg g4 and its speaker is louder than usual so you know that music was loud. Going to check the book out everyone was quiet and just staring at me. The checkout people look at me and just gave the 'pity smile' (you know that smile, that you give a kid who just failed a test or something) I didn't really care. But on the way out, some guy grabbed my hand told me "Suicide is never the answer regardless of how sad you are" he gave me this slip for an "out of the darkness walk" on september 10 2015. I just took it and left. Apparently people think im suicidal. Never wearing a gray hoodie to the library again.

Forgot to push an earphone cord all the way in, Not only did I get to read up on a book and listen to sad music, I got to read a slip for an anti-suicide walk. EDIT: I'm not going.

For a while now I've had this kind of brain fog, where I find it hard to concentrate, my creativity and sense of humor has suffered, and I feel kind of out of my own head. I figured it would pass, but after I took a couple ibuprofen for a headache one day, my mind was clearer and worked faster than it has in a long time. I also get headaches behind my right eye, but I blame that on me not wearing glasses when I should and sitting too close to my monitor. But after this I'm actually worried I might have a tumor or something. I don't have health insurance at the time, and I work part time. My entire paycheck goes to rent. I can't afford any major medical problems.

I took ibuprofen and my mind worked better than it has in a long time. I don't have health insurance and I'm scared it might be serious. What should I do?

I'm a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump. Here's my dilemma: I have always had issues with weight loss. All round my body, I'm pretty muscular by normal standards... everything except my midsection. I've tried cardio, core work, low calorie (1500) diets, high calorie (3500) diets, weight loss supplements, running, weightlifting... all to no avail. I've been lifting heavy for about 2 months now, and have seen some definite muscle increases, but I'm going to want to try my first cut on this regimen soon. I'm 6'0" and 296 lbs. size 48 waist, to give you an idea of the massive gut. I went to the doctor last month and got a metabolic / thyroid test done to see what in the world is going on with my inability to lose weight. They came back stunned because I topped their scales... for HIGH metabolism. According to their test, I burn over 5,600 calories per day simply by existing. That morning, I had gone to the gym, but only lifted medium weights for like 45 minutes. No pre or post supplements... in fact, I was fasting since the night before. I went over everything with the doc about what I've tried for weight loss, and she was clueless. She said I can try a 1800-2000 calorie diet to lose, and I showed her journals where I had tried it and lost nothing. Then she suggested higher because of the "you need to eat so many calories vs what you burn" concept, which came to like 3400 calories per day for weight loss... showed her the journals for that, too. She said I could try an appetite suppressant, and I told her my ability to eat / not eat when needed wasn't a problem. I've got the will power, never had an issue with it. I've tried insanity. I've tried P90X. She ended up shrugging it off and telling me to talk to her again next time if 1800 calories per day didn't work - basically ignored the problem. Do you guys have any idea WTF my body's deal is? They also came back with normal levels on everything thyroid related, vitamin related (vitamin D was low, but thats it, and I'm taking a supplement for that now)... everything. To be clear, my weight isn't a big deal, but my GUT SIZE is. I don't want to end up looking like some kind of obese hulk down the road. I'm 26. Any ideas would be appreciated.

I burn 5,600 calories per day but can't lose any weight or gut mass. Tried everything. Lifting for 2 months has kept me at exactly the same weight as when I started.

Long story short there is a possibility I will be offered a job as a small business accountant at a medical marijuana dispensary. It would entail doing every day bookwork, maintaining A/P, A/R, the normal kind of things that one would be expected to do at any small business. Then after the first of the year they plan on creating a separate company for commercial business for legality purposes. I would most likely be playing a large part in helping setup the new business, setting up new inventory management processes, and then doing the accounting and bookwork for both the medical and commercial sects of the company. I should mention that the company is legit as can be in the industry and have good success over the two years that they have been open. I am interested in getting involved with the industry and have been for a while, but I was planning on going into it later on in my career. I am a new graduate that has experience with small businesses and financial planning (through an internship), but I had planned on finding an analyst position and working for a year or two before moving on to get my MBA. Where I would then move onto something a more advanced analyst position or something along line. My concerns are that going to work for a company in the cannabis industry will leave my career hampered in the long run. Even though I would like to industry in some financial capacity, I expected to do it a little later in my career and also a little later in the industries life to see what happens with CO and WA over the next couple of years. Also, I have not had any luck finding an entry level analyst position so far, so that is causing me a little concern. I have a fairly good GPA of 3.6 and 4.0 in my major, but I am coming from a smaller university that has no avenues into a strong financial position.

Might be offered a job in cannabis industry and worried that the stipulation with the industry might haunt my career forever. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I was walking my dog. He was about 2-3 feet in front of me. He has a horrible habit of taking massive dumps without even stopping. So we're walking along, and I notice a fairly hot girl walking on the other street. As I'm scopin' that out, he's having the time of his fuckin' life shooting out 10 lb brick sized shits. One landed on my shoe. Don't ask how. Earlier that day, I had received news that my ex-girlfriend had been hospitalized for attempted suicide, so I was in a bad mood. I had been fine until then, and at that moment, I just snapped. I spent 10 minutes cussing him out and yelling at him and just being angry. After I cooled off, he gave me [this]( look, and I instantly felt awful. Yes, that is my dog, Chester. He is a supreme overlord master of the universe in command executive king boss whatever.

Walking dog, dog shits on foot, I explode, he's cute, I feel like ass, dog's fucking awesome. This felt like I was telling a story on 4Chan.

So quick backstory, I met this guy at work and we vibrated on the same frequency. Everything was dandy until he got his deployment orders. South Korea for a year, hardship tour, no spouses (we had considered getting hitched, yes I know). So we agreed to just be friends and try again when we can see each-other again. It's inevitable that he'll find a beautiful girl over there (he himself is a very handsome, well built man), and when he does he made it clear he won't pass up an opportunity (he said I shouldn't pass up on one either). But my question is, how do I just let him go? Every time I think about him with another girl it hurts. It hasn't even happened yet, but since we parted on 'good terms' and still say 'I love you' to eachother I can't get over him.

Guy I really love has no choice but to leave, I'm struggling to accept he'll have sexual partners or more while he's gone for a year. I want to get some perspective or hear from anyone who's gone through this.

It's my second semester at college. I've been dating my boyfriend since July 1st, 2012. But when I saw him over spring break, everything felt really weird, even just being alone with him and hanging out. Then I come back to school, and I start flirting with one of my friends who I just thought was attractive before, but I'm realizing I kind of like him. Now every Friday he and I smoke and drink and it's all really fun, and there's lots of flirting, and a couple of my friends thinks he really likes me too. But he has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend. And recently my boyfriend has gotten very clingy, needing to text me constantly and even going so far as to tell me what I should and should not wear, if it's too "revealing". He says he's been having nightmares of me breaking up with him or leaving him and he's just really sad all the time. Taking all of that into account, should I go on a break or break up with my boyfriend to see what happens with this guy, or to just have a relationship-free college experience? I'm just so confused.

LDR college boyfriend is getting pretty annoying and clingy, and I like one of my friends who unfortunately has a girlfriend, but it feels like we flirt a lot. What do I do?