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I went to a park where there is a sign that says dogs should be on a leash. Of course, once we got to the end of the trail and to the water for her to swim in, I took her off leash. She is well behaved and responds to my commands. Two police officers came up to me and ticketed me for having her off leash. They told me it's okay for her to be off leash while in the water, but not while on land. She was playing fetch in the water, so she would come back on to land to bring me the stick. Also, they saw me from a distance when I took her off the leash while we were still on the land, so that she could get in the water. Anyway, I'm fighting it because (1) it's a stupid ticket, and (2) the police officers said it was okay for her to be off leash in the water. In addition she is my service dog in training and I have a service ID for her (though she has never been officially certified through a third-party program). She is just shy of two years and isn't quite focused enough for me to be comfortable calling her my official service dog yet. I'm wondering if it would be unwise for me to call her my service dog in the trial. And if you think it would be wise for me to call her my service dog, should I bring her with me to the trial? I'm just wondering what I can do to prepare for my trial by judge. Does anybody have any experience with this kind of stuff?

Got ticketed for letting my dog swim in a park that requires dogs to be on leash. I am disputing the ticket and seeking others' experiences.

I like this story. I feel like this happens a lot to a lot of people so you are not alone. The same thing happened to me when I was done with high school, except she was going into the air force. It seems like you will be able to visit home and she will be able to visit you a lot easier than in my situation. Let me be pessimistic really quick: my freshman year of college I took a psychology class that had maybe 150 students in it. We did it in a giant lecture silo heh. In the first week my professor asked all the freshmen who had a long distance high school relationship to raise our hands. Maybe like 60 or something raised their hands. Then he asked for upper classmen to raise their hands if they had a long distance high school relationship as an incoming freshman - many raised their hands. Then he asked for them to keep their hands up if they were still in the same relationship. Only maybe 2 or 3 kept their hands up. My point is long distance relationships are really hard to keep healthy and few actually work. Mine didn't. We broke it off in December and I felt terrible for months afterwards. However, 7 summers have past and that summer is still the best I have ever spent with a girl. It was awesome and I don't regret a thing. I love having the memories that I have. If you aren't afraid of having a hard breakup (that may never come) I say go for it and enjoy every minute of it while it lasts, and try not to be bitter if it ends. And lastly, it is really really really easy to put some shorts on. The only reason you saw her with her in panties and a shirt is because she wanted you to see her in her panties and a shirt. Just sayin, it sounds like she still wants you.

I had the same situation at the end of high school and it didn't work out in the long run but I loved it and don't regret a thing. I say do it, and also she wants you.

Didn't happen to me but in year 9 at school one of my friends was hit by a Ute (pick-up truck) that ran a red light. He ended up flipping over the top and landing in the tray of the Ute. The doctors say this is probably the reason he didn't die, impacting with the ground again would have probably killed him in. To top this a fire truck was driving past as the accident happened and they manage to get him on oxygen within about a minute of the crash which the doctors believe this prevented any permanent brain damage. Finally my father was a district officer in our local fire-brigade at the time and ended up responding to the scene of the accident. He didn't actually go and have a close look at my friend because the crew that was there first said it was really nasty and they didn't think he would live. It wasn't until 2 days later when we got a call from his parents saying he had been in an accident that my dad realised it had been my friend in the accident. List of injuries included several broken ribs, compound fracture of lower left leg, broken left arm and hand, shattered glass in both his eyes, brain bleed that made them drill a hole in his skull, broken nose and various cuts and scrapes from broken glass. Other than some epic scars he has since made a full recovery.

Friend hit by pickup lands in tray preventing death, fire-brigade driving past gets him on oxygen quickly preventing brain damage and my dad responded to the accident.

Like seriously man. It's so annoying. When I do initiate the conversation we always end up talking for a few hours, and often it just goes on until one of us goes to sleep. So it's not as if she seems completely uninterested. There was one point where I messaged her every other day for a couple of weeks, but then I realised that I was the only one actually initiating it at all. The only time she ever, ever initiated anything was her messaging me to say happy birthday, but that wasn't even a full blown conversation. I started thinking to myself that maybe I'm annoying her and she's just replying out of politeness, or that she's not interested. I decided I wouldn't message her first this time, and I thought if she's interested in wanting to talk to me she'd hit me up after a few days. It's been just over a week now and nothing, apart from liking one of my Instagram pictures. I really want to message her and talk to her again, but part of me thinks if she doesn't even value talking to me enough to start the conversation just one time, then why should I try so hard? I just feel like I'm being desperate and clingy. I know people always say guys should be the one to make the move and whatever else, and I know she is a shy person, but come on. Even one message from her would show me she likes talking to me and that I'm not wasting my time, but nothing. I don't know whether to give up and assume she's uninterested or keep trying and potentially waste my time and hers. It's so annoying not knowing where I stand man. Part of me wants to quit, but I really, really like her, she's a great girl, I just wish I had a better grasp on what she thinks about it all.

Messaging the girl I like quite a lot, but I start the conversation every single time. When we do talk it goes on for hours though. Is she interested at all, or am I wasting my time?

Throwaway because embarrassing. We've been together 6 months and have a really amazing sex life, both of us have high libidos and we have sex pretty much every time we see each other unless it's physically impossible, hah. So that's not the problem. However, whenever I get "turned down" (if you can even call it that in these situations I'm about to describe), I get overly huffy or disappointed and each time I realize it's probably not making my SO feel very good and I have no reason to make him feel that way. For example, I could be giving him head in a public place and he thinks someone is nearby and wants to stop, I get annoyed even though this is a very reasonable request and find it very hard to shake off-- then when I do, I get super embarrassed that I was being that way and continue to act weirdly due to the embarrassment, which isn't helpful. Or, another example, we just wake up together and I want to do something sexual with him-- he prefers to be up for a half hour before doing anything and so he'll (very kindly!) tell me to wait, and I have a similar reaction (sometimes I hide it, but I even hate that I'm feeling this way and that the emotions are weirdly strong). Obviously if I dated a guy who for example wanted to finger me in a public place where I was feeling uncomfortable and got all weird when I said no, I would be pretty annoyed or mad with him. My SO has been extremely kind to me about this in the past, I think a little is him not wanting to discourage me sexually since he loves what we do otherwise. This is my first sexual relationship (lost my virginity to him) so I'm just looking for some advice since I don't know too much. How do I deal and get rid of these feelings? I love my SO very much and of COURSE don't want to do anything he doesn't want, so what do I do with these feelings? Is there a way to make them go away and get a little more emotional self control? I don't know if this is a common problem or if I'm a complete asshole, but please give me some advice. Not sure if this sounds ridiculous either but maybe other people feel this way sometimes and have something to say? I'm pretty embarrassed even typing this but as said before, I just really want to be able to be with my SO and make him feel like he doesn't HAVE to do anything, because of course he doesn't. Our relationship is otherwise fantastic and I hate that I'm the one causing this problem.

How do I deal with my feelings after being "turned down" by my SO sexually? I feel like I'm being pretty ridiculous but I can't zap those feelings away for some reason.

So, before you say anything, no, it is NOT Comcast. It is Centurylink. My internet was a bit lacking, my computer would literally freeze up at moments just to load a page, when a week or two prior, this never happened. I decided to go to Ookla. Here are some before/after results. [Before]( [After]( My DL speed went down the shitter, into the fucking blender full of piss. And this was only 20 damned days ago! I opened/closed Steam constantly because I thought my computer was shit! It has horrible specs, sure, but it can run Bioshock! The fan slits weren't even that fucking dusty! Don't get Centurylink. EDIT: Apparently ComCast owns the server nearest to me...explains a fuck bunch. I noticed when it started to get closer to my area it'd skip back and forth.

My ISP lowers my down significantly, while also doing the same for my up. My up was shitty to begin with. I rant. A lot.

So I used to work at this raw vegan organic restaurant and had a coworker named Nancy. She was in her late thirties and clearly not accepting aging very well(used to be a party animal and then found veganism and thus went super straight and narrow). She always brought her life issues with her to work(couldn't find a man and her only loves were here cats whom she had a badly done half sleeve tattoo of) and was super neurotic/im pretty sure had OCD. I was a dish washer at the time and she was constantly telling me how I left the dish put a "mess" every time I closed. A mess would consist of a few specks that only she noticed. Anyways she was my superior and my other boss was Japanese so when she complained to my other boss about the "state" I left the dish pit in, needless to say being straight from Japan and also super neurotic she completely agreed and promptly fired me. I actually tried really hard at this job and the rest of the employees were really cool and one of my besties worked there I actually quite enjoyed it and legitemately tried and all of the others who worked there hated her. I was upset that I got fired unfairly but then later found that recently she had contracted a horrible stomach flu and shit her pants not once, but twice during her sickness. One of which times was in her car so she had to sit and stew in it till she got home. I was quite pleased when I heard this information.

My bitch neurotic coworker who got me fired unfairly shit her pants twice. Once of which was in a car so she had to sit in it till she got home.

So here's the story.... (sorry if its long) So this mess I created started off when I met this girl (at this point I would like to add that she is trans, meaning she has dated both guys and girls in the past) at the beginning of the year. we kinda went on from there as friends, about a week or 2 into our relationship she slipped me her number on a note card during class... So we began texting every so often, as friends. This sorta progressed on from there. She then one day started to flirt with me, casually as friends. This went on for, oh about a month or so. During this time i developed a huge crush on her... This is where stuff where get kinda weird.... So for one of our classes we had a part in the schools annual talent show. We did our act and after I just "Happened" to sit down next to her. we get to talking and she then out of nowhere throws her legs into my lap and cuddles up next to me smiling... At this point I got the "What do i do with my hands moment every guy knows" I kept my cool and did what felt natural, I put my hand on her thigh. I looked at her as if asking for approval, she just smiled back up at me and stayed there. This went on until the show about ended when she got up and left, only saying the she had to go to a class party.... Doing this she left her coat, I being the nice guy I am (And wanting to score some points with her) grabbed it and found her after school. She thanked me, and then hugged me for what at the time felt like forever. She then said we need to hang out over break, played with my hair and left. I went home feeling like I was ontop of the world, and the next day tried to set up a time to meet with her. We tried to meet , but shit got in the way on both our ends... Just last late night I was stressed outta my mind about things I wont go into here. So I screwed up and confessed my love to her. She texted me in the morning saying that she was a really close friend of mine, and she didn't want to lose that. She also said that she has in the past had trust issues with guys and is not really willing to trust us as a gender. I felt like i had just gotten shot in the stomach... After taking to her today we made plans to hang out on friday... What should I do? Where should I offer to take her? Can I do anything on Friday to help me win her back? Is their hope for us? I need help....

My crush (I think) dropped me in the friendzone.... We made plans to meet on friday, What can I do then to help me escape it?

I could use some advice from guys or gals who have been in similar situations. A good friend of mine for about 10 years has volunteered to rep his company at a convention in my city over the weekend and the company isn't providing a hotel because it's a 2 hour drive from their main office where he works. He's asked to stay in my tiny studio apartment for a couple of days so he doesn't have to make the drive and I told him no problem. Throughout high school and college we would have drunken hook ups here and there, but we've never actually had sex. More often then not, these would put some awkward distance between the two of us for a few months and then we'd be fine. Two years ago when he lived in Chicago, I went out there for a week's vacation (I have many friends out there, it wasn't just to visit him) and after about 8 drinks he made a move--but I was sorta seeing a mutual friend at the time and turned him down. When I met him at 16, I had a big crush and ten years of friendship later, I still think he's the greatest. I don't know if the feeling is mutual, but we're definitely each other's type, have a lot in common and are very flirty (sharing drinks at parties, kissing hello/good bye on the cheek, we even say "I love you" from time to time)--but, he does have a well earned reputation for being a lady killer and I wonder it's more sexual curiousity than anything else. He got out of a year long relationship 3 months ago and with the upcoming visit and our history, I'm wondering...what's going on and how can I play it cool this weekend? Speaking for myself, I'd love it if this turned into something more, but I'd be so upset if I lost him.

old friend (10 years) who I have feelings for and who I've had casual drunk hook ups with is now a few months single and staying in my studio apartment for a weekend for work. Help me not eff it up.

The people in /r/fitness were kind of douches to me so I'm going to try this again but with the runners community. All I got there was a passive aggressive referral to the FAQ merely because I mentioned wanting to drop 15 lbs. I'm not looking for general weight-loss advice; I'm looking for advice specific to a RUNNER and advice about what routines work well with RUNNING without taking away from my running training. I don't want to go pump a bunch of weights only to be too tired to complete training runs, and I don't want to do a bunch of P90x if it will take away from energy left for running. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough about that in my original post. My post: So, I'm looking to do something in addition to my regular running plan to help me gain strength, reshape my body a bit, and lose the ~15 lbs I've put on since my last marathon. I know from experience that I CAN just ramp my running training back up to 40-45 miles a week and I would drop that weight as a result...but I am not the fastest runner and I'm having trouble fitting that amount of mileage in along with my new job. Basically I've just moved to a new place and had a lot of major lifestyle changes that are making it harder to just "do the usual" I'd been used to. I will do it eventually because I am registered for a trail marathon next season. But for now... I don't know how to slim down and get stronger if not through running. I'm running about 25-30 miles a week now. What do you think would help me get results (in the form of strength and dropping those extra pounds) in addition to that running regime? I have access to a gym at work...should I just add a few days a week of strength training in the weights room? Yoga (on my own--can't afford classes)? Swimming? Should I try to get my hands on P90x or some other form of workout program? Whatever I add in, I'd like it to be relatively easy on the knees and, if possible, FUN. I might add a bit of yoga in just because I want to work on getting more flexible and the folks over in /r/yoga seemed to think it could help....but it doesn't seem that promising of a way to gain strength unless I have months of patience. I'm impatient.

I don't know what other kinds of training I can do that COMPLEMENT running during a time I'm not running super high mileage. It's not that I'm some kind of fitness idiot or that I need basic weight-loss advice. Can anyone legitimately help me here?

And I am absolutely terrified. I've never felt this much emotion for another person. I'm crazy about him. And we haven't even been dating a year yet. 7 months to be exact. But everything about us just feels so right. We're so different, but we click. He cares for me, but doesn't have to say it - I know by the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, and the way he treats me. Like I'm the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with... like we're meant to be. When I met him I told my best friend if anyone were to truly break my heart, he'd be the one. He's everything I could ask for and I have him. Now. So early in life. We're in our 20s and it feels too soon. I didn't expect to meet him, this lovely human, this amazing individual, until later in life. I'm terrified because I'm head over heels for him. I'm his. Completely and totally his. I've been in love before, but not like this. Never like this. I know he feels the same way. I can see in his actions and the way he holds me at night. He doesn't have to say it. I know. And we don't talk about it, emotions. Barely. He could barely say he likes me. Much less if he's in love. But I'm going crazy. I don't know what to do, I want to treasure every moment we have together and I want to share how I feel about him. But I'm terrified, absolutely terrified. Because vulnerability is real. And it's raw. And imagining myself sharing my thoughts makes all of what I'm thinking a reality. He could really be the one. He could be the love of my life. But that means he could also break me down. Break my heart and leave me in pieces. What's the next step? Do I share how I feel? How? Is it too soon?

I think I found the love of my life. I'm crazy about him but we don't talk about that stuff. Do I tell him or wait?

There are so many issues with this.. where do I even start? Siblings are not guaranteed to be similar to each other in the least. There is a chance she could share personality traits with her brother, certainly, but there is always a chance she is nothing like him as well. It's good that you recognize and can articulate what you want in a partner, but you should go out there and find a real person, not some fantasy built up in your head! I mean, imagine if you do meet her someday, and she's nothing like what you imagined. You can't just put someone on a pedestal, and assume they are a certain way, especially if you've never met them in your life. Finally, the smallest issue, in my opinion, but you really should think about her age. As a 16/17 year old, she is still in high school. The two of you are miles apart in terms of life experience, and teenagers, in my opinion anyways, need time to grow without a romantic adult figure in their life. And this is coming from someone in a relationship with a fairly large age gap. When my boyfriend met me, I was 16, and he was 21. I was totally head over heels from him almost instantly, and he cared for me too, but he waited for two years, until I turned 18, to enter a relationship with me. Although it hurt me at the time, thinking my affections were unreciprocated, he made the best decision possible given the circumstances. Even though I thought of myself as a mature 16 year old, there really is no such thing... not enough life experience. My point is, even if you guys meet and you hit it off, the time is not right, now. I can almost guarantee there is too much of a gap.

If she comes into your life organically, a few years down the line, cool, but I can guarantee this kid isn't ready for a relationship with a 22-year-old. Stop fantasizing about some random teenager, and focus on developing meaningful relationships with people closer to your age.

As the title says, we've been dating for 7 months and have had a multitude of issues, around him working demanding, odd hours, sexual incompatibility, and most significantly, him being a selfish/unthoughtful/emotionless robot and me being too attached. He knew that I wasn't happy about many things. I tried breaking up once before and could not go through with it. Then this time, I suggested we take a break and he agreed. We decided one week and then we would decide whether to get back together or break it off for good. That was one week ago, Friday afternoon. Now it's Friday evening. I've decided we need to break up for good but I don't know how to reinitiate contact to break up. I'm extremely sad but the whole relationship was just f***ed up and I know this is what is best. As I said, he was emotionally detached, so I'm sure I'm much sadder than him. But how do I do this? I've only broken up with one guy before (5 year relationship) and I went about it completely the wrong way. I don't want to do that this time. Should I text him asking if I can come over and talk? Should I say in the text that I want to come over and talk, but be clear that I want to break up? Or should I do the breaking up over text since we already talked about all the issues when we decided (in person) to take a break? Should I call? (We've never talked on the phone, only texted. I doubt a phone conversation would go well). Or should I just wait for him to contact me? I just don't want him to break up with me first. I know how silly that sounds but I have bent over backward for him so much in this relationship and I need to do something empowering for myself. Time sensitive as I think he'll text me tonight if I don't do it first. Please help, I'm at a loss. Thanks for all advice.

We decided to "take a break" for one week, the week is up, I don't know how to reinitiate contact and in what manner to break up for good. EDIT: Broke up officially via text, see below

I go to every single class, am awake, and am actively taking notes and asking questions. I try to go to office hours when I have a question, or need extra help. I read the material front to back and study days ahead of the test. I would say I am putting an ample amount of effort into studying for the test, and doing everything I should be doing as a student. What is bothering me is that my professor is flying through the material, we are currently 2.5 weeks ahead the rest of the other trig. classes at the university. To me this is a sign that he is kind of going through the motions and not really teaching that well. In better terms he is just trying to get through the material, and not actually teaching it. When I ask him for help on how to solve a type of question, his answers are completely useless. I am the type of learner where after I am shown how to do a certain type of process I can do it by myself perfectly. However when I ask him to help guide me through a problem, the only help he will say for a problem where it says prove blank = blank and he will say mess with one side, then the other and walk away. What recently has also been really bugging me is we had a quiz one class, and then the following class we had an exam with no time to look over the quiz or time to review the quiz with the professor. Then on the tests he will tell us what kinds of things we should know how to do a few days before the test, so we know what to be studying. I study everything he says to study and then read the book and do practice problems as well, and go into the test feeling very well prepared. When I get the test there will be problems on there that I have no idea how to solve. When I look up how to do them later, I find that it was never taught, mentioned, or is in the book; but somehow we are supposed to magically know how to solve this type of equation. I was getting an A in the class before he randomly took off flying through the material and going through the motions. Now I am getting a D because of the last few tests.

Teacher is useless in answering questions, has back-to-back quiz and test with no class time, flies through material without teaching, and puts stuff on tests that have never been taught or mentioned.

So, I purchased a vehicle and now I'm trying to figure out how to ask her out without it being incredibly awkward. Additionally she's put me on edge with a couple things, and so I want to know if maybe I've taken steps in the wrong direction. My supervisor wing-manned me last night and left me in a position to drive her back to her cabin 2 miles away. She was pretty ecstatic about my new car and so at first we had some back and forth about that. Then I asked her how her day was going and she began to spill her guts about how stressed out shes been. The key thing (one that is now driving me mad with attraction) is that she got vulnerable in front of me and fought back tears about how her week was going. So we spent the remainder of our trip going back and forth about work, and before she stepped out of the car I asked her if she wanted a hug, to which she said "Of course Buddy." So the two things that are making me nervous is the fact that she said Buddy, and her almost crying in front of me. Now, to be clear we were strictly talking about work and her and I specifically, not about things like other guys etc. SO reddit whats my verdict? Is it a safe play to muddy the waters with this girl or should I just move on and be a rad friend?

Gave a girl im into a ride home and she got vulnerable teary eyed in front of me. Still trying to see if Im mixing the signals or if I should go for it.

Hello all. Been dating my gf for 8 months. I'm 26M, she's 24F. Both of us live with our respective divorced mothers. I have the worst student loans and have to buy my own health insurance so living alone is financially out of the question at the moment. My mom is pretty chill, spends most of the weekends at the house of the guy she's dating, and doesn't care if my gf comes over. So gf and I have most of our alone time at my house on the weekends and yeah, we're having sex. Gf refuses to spend the night becuase she doesn't want her mom to know/think she's sexually active. Her mom isn't religious or anything, gf just says she would give her a lecture or something. I tell her she is an adult and who cares but she says her mom would make her life a hell if she found out. I think her mother would give her crap for a day and get over it. I don't like it for obvious reasons, it's less time we spend together and it's weird we spend all Saturday together and then have sex and she showers and leaves it makes me feel bummed slightly. Plus, there are safety reasons. Usually we have a few drinks and she says as late as she can, until about 11pm-1am, and she shouldn't really drive home in those conditions. Plus I live in the Midwest and "winter is coming" (as it were). Nobody needs to be driving around late in blizzards or whatever. I realize this is between her and her mom but what can I say/do to help make a point to my gf?

gf won't stay over at my house becuase she doesn't want her mom to know she's having sex when she is in fact having sex.

Hello, Background: 3 year relationship, 1st year proximate, the rest on a distance. So your boyfriend (middle 20s not high-school stuff) has shown these traits for the last 2 years: never spent new-years eve together last 2 years only meaningful presents where delivered on a birthday, no flowers basically ever never shown willingness to meet in the middle in important decisions such as where to live and failed to to integrate each others social circles failed promises to spend whole of last summer together and other activities criticized members of your family poor communication no get-aways travelled to her less than she travelled to me she mentioned lack of playfulness, sponteneousness, routine sex-life (but always when I asked she said she was satisfied) that I wasnt listening to her with my heart On the positive sides: encouraged you in career supported through difficult times, a shoulder to cry on and good advice willingness to support you financialy fully, payed for many travels, offered to pay college in case her own financial stream dried up funny and intellectual conversations, learn something almost every day 1st year / courtage stage: many very nice presents exchanged, surprise parties and so on spontenous small get-aways integrated social circle willingness to cooperate, relocated to a new city for you many activities enjoyed together honeymoon phase of rs basically lasted for this year So basically, what would be your impression of such a boyfriend? Would you get out or stay?

Girlfriend breaks up over the above issues and I feel like a bad man, would like some input if she is correct and what I can do about it.

Usually if you can find a smaller (historical) theater that has a history of having performances with a shadow cast that is a good sign. I know what you mean though. I just recently moved out of the bible belt to the west coast. I have since joined a cast that performs regularly. Usually larger cities near the boarder of the state have good casts, but if you do some research and find casts with websites you might be able to find a fun looking one.

I know what you mean. Try looking around online for groups with a cast website. If they are that organized chances are you found a good cast. Expect to drive to a larger city.

As a student myself, I feel like teachers can also teach differently based on the topic. I always write a review of my professors at the end of every semester because I feel like that's something every student should do so we all know which professors are actually worth taking. Anything over a 3.5 is good in my book and I will not take a class with a professor rated lower than that. 6 semesters later and it hasn't done me wrong. In fact, it's saved me a couple times. One time, this professor teaching a sociology class I needed got maybe a 1.5 rating and I thought "he can't be that bad.." oh he was. I got a C in the course, and I could have definitely scored higher for the better professor. The other guys teaching methods were very poor as most of the class either walked out every time or they fell asleep. It was very difficult to stay awake.

please use rmp and give a review to help future students out. I usually point out a key point or two and mention a good memory from the course, or a bad memory if it was a bad class. Rmp hasn't done me wrong yet.

We were together for 3 years, but things weren't working out. I waited until I met someone else before I ended it, so he was pretty upset. I regret that a lot.I should have ended it a lot sooner. When we were in college, we talked about our dream jobs and such and we both wanted to do pretty much the same thing. That career path all started with the 2 year internship with a particular company which we both eventually got - which was really cool because there was only 45 places. Anyway, we had been doing the internship for 6 months when I broke it off with him - 5 months ago now. 3 weeks ago I stole some of the merchandise from our workplace. It was incredibly stupid. I've had a problem with stealing since I was 15. He was let go from the program not long after that. No one knew why. Yesterday I was in the break room just chatting with my boss and she let it slip that he stole merchandise. I know that he would never do that, but why would he take the blame? I honestly didn't know that my boss or my ex knew anything at all. If he took the blame for me why wouldn't he say something? I'm not sure what to do now. I don't have the merchandise anymore. Should I tell my boss that it was really me? If I did I don't think he'd get the internship position back - my boss never liked him. I feel bad, but he did decide to take the blame, so should I respect that?

I stole from my workplace. Unbeknownst to me until yesterday, he took the blame for me. Should I tell my boss or just leave it alone?

You can't fix people. You can't mend people, no matter how much you love them. I know everyone says "there's no point going into a relationship with someone thinking that you can change them" but this is also true of thinking that you can mend/rescue/help someone. If you love him/her but think "It'll be so much better when he's happier/when she's in a stable job and feels safe/when we find the right meds for his depression/when she starts to trust me enough to really open up" then, whether you understand it or not, you're in the same place as "I'm sure we'll stop fighting once we're married/I'm sure he'll be cleaner when we move in together/I'll make sure she learns to be more polite before she meets my parents". It's about looking at what you want a person to be, not who they are being. No matter how much you love someone, if they have long-term emotional or mental health issues, ( especially as you and they get older,) then you have to be able to love them and live with them as they are. People can only learn to mend themselves, we cannot do the mending for them, no matter how clear it looks to us. If you go into a relationship thinking "things will be different, I just know it" for any reason then you are unlikely to ever be happy. It's not fair on you an it's not fair to put those expectations onto the person you love. Also, you have to look after your own happiness. In the long run, that has to come before anyone else's happiness.

You can't fix people, and you can't rescue people. No amount of love fixes mental illness and you have to look after yourself and your happiness too.

We dated for 3 years the past 6 months were long distance. He broke up with me over skype at the end of March. He cried and told me he still loves me and I'm his best friend. We didn't talk for a month until I texted him asking how things were. We texted and then he didn't respond. Texted a week later asking if he wanted to get drinks as I would be back in town on this date. No response. Fast forward a few weeks to Saturday, the day after I was supposed to be home, my sister saw him standing by his car outside our house. He had stopped by my house to pick up a game and then he told my sister she could text him anytime to bring over the Xbox. He chatted my dad up which had my dad coming back to me talking all nice about my ex. He also left over 20 games at my house and my sister told me he stood outside the house after for a few minutes. I texted him a few days later telling him that I would've appreciated him asking me first before just going over to my house and if he wants to talk then we should meet up. No response. Also, I was a bad girl and looked at his facebook page. A picture of me kissing his cheek is front and center on his page. Posted 2 months ago. I should also note that he goes on Facebook regularly (not stalking but his name does pop up on my side chat which shows him as active nearly every day) He changed his relationship status when we broke up so why hasn't he deleted that awkward photo? He posts occasionally to facebook so it's kinda weird that it's been almost two months and he hasn't posted anything to push that picture down. It probably means nothing but it still caught me off guard.

Ex acting weird, tells me he still loves me, then not responsive, shows up at my house, leaves awkward photos of us on his facebook page.

So. It's 10:00 PM on a Saturday and my boyfriend and I are watching an episode of Dexter. We hear a rustling coming from the kitchen and assume the cat has gotten into some trouble. My boyfriend goes to check out the situation and it turns out that the cat is in hot pursuit of a GUINEA PIG. We have absolutely NO idea where it came from and why it is in our apartment. We have caught it and put it in a large cooler, which is currently residing in our bathtub, safe from the cat. We went knocking on 5 other doors in our complex and only 1 person was home; he really got a kick out of our story, but couldn't help. THUS, YOUR ASSISTANCE IS REQUIRED! 1) How small of a hole can a guinea pig squeeze itself into? We are dumbfounded. How did this creature find its way into our apartment? My boyfriend only left once today to pick up some sushi (I didn't leave at all), and though I think we would have noticed if it crawled into our apartment as he came/went (around 9:00 PM), it seems the only plausible option. 2) Obviously our neighbors are out partying (or something) and will not return until tomorrow at least. The guinea pig is ours for the night, and therefore needs sustenance. The biggest problem right now is water. Is there any way to make a makeshift water bottle? I tried a small plastic container and the guinea pig just kept falling over into it and making a huge mess. Food: I gave it some lettuce. How much is too much/too little? 3) Is there anything else we should know?

I know NOTHING about caring for rodents and now have a guinea pig on my hands. Photos-- Proud cat: EDIT: NOT a guinea pig. It's a hamster! Thanks for helping us ID this thing!

She had been hanging out with a guy from work all hours of the night 3/4 times during the week we argued after the first time it happened. Then she tells me she wants a break because she wants to see if she wants to stay settled with me or wants other things. (Pot and alcohol from him) She admitted that she liked him and may have feeling for him, so that night I stayed with a friend and broke up with her over the phone because I knew her mind was made up and the boyfriend of 4 years wasn't going to be put on the backburner for a guy she knew for three weeks. I come home the next day after work and our place reeks of weed, Mike's hards in the trash, bed is all fucked up and I could tell the cabinet we kept the condoms in was opened. I call her and she goes "Yeah, I fucked Ray. Multiple times. I'm happy to tell you!" And to think I was like two weeks away from proposing to that cunt. I could go on forever about it. I got fucked over big time but I've used the opportunity to better myself.

Long term high school sweetheart did a complete overnight 180 and chose the party life over me and fucked the coworker that could provide it for her.

So today while hanging out with some friends we made a slightly off colored masturbation joke to which my elementary school aged brother was within ear shot of. So later in the day he confronted me and asked me what masturbation was as any child his age and I explained it as "When your older and you touch yourself in private" trying to make it not sexually explicit but not trying to fire and brimstone him away from the act when he is older and I felt alright with my explanation and he was content with it. Well later in the day while I was listening to podcasts while doing dishes my mom came home from work as she usually does and went to go tell my brother hello. Strangely enough though the door was locked and when my mother inquired about why the door was locked and my angel faced brother just went "I'm masturbating in here!" In a snarky manner to which my mother rightfully assuming I had something to do with this yelled out my name to which I was sure I was going to be scolded. Luckily we found out he was just touching his face so it wasn't that terribly bad.

Told a jerk off joke, brother asked me about jerking off, gave him a vague answer, told my mother he was masturbating but was actually touching his face in privacy.

We have been together for 2 years and very recently bought a house together. Through a bank screw up her name couldn't be placed on the title (relevant later). She suffers from anxiety and takes medication for it. We have had a couple "flare ups" before moving in ..but nothing to scare me off. If you're familiar with the mood swings on anti-anxiety meds/withdrawl symptoms you will know what I mean. We are definitely having growing pains. Since moving in things are not the same. She is very critical of what I do around the house, and has had the nerve to tell me I do nothing during the week. Before she gets home I clean and cook dinner, occasionally I catch a quick nap which she is extremely jealous of. As far as bills go, we agreed her payments would be property tax and electric. I pay everything else including the mortgage. We basically split food evenly. Good luck bringing up the upcoming property tax bill, she will get really weird about it..talk about how she doesn't make much and all her student payments blah blah (she can definitely afford this, we went over the numbers before moving in). She still owes me half for the lawyer fees to buy the place, and technically I paid out the property tax for the new home through the sale of my old place, so she owes for that too. She has brought up that shes not comfortable paying since her name isn't on anything, I've given up on getting this money out of her. She did pay the electricity bill amazingly. When she gets mad she just quits talking and sulks. I used to give into the behavior but I don't anymore, if she gets pissy I just ignore it. Including right now. It seems every weekend something goes awry, so much so that I want to start keeping track. We will be great one night but one "slip up" and it's silence for a day or two. Everything seems to get on her nerves, all stuff I do or say. I feel like I pull more than my fair share around the place, but for her it's never good enough. Since her name never got on the title and all this shit has been coming up, I feel like it's a sign to me to tell her to leave if shes having such a difficult time. I can afford the place on my own. On the other hand I've never lived with someone else so is this growing process normal? She just seems miserable most of the time. We're both so young and I'm so excited to be together, but I can't put on a smiley face anymore to cheer her up. Her bad attitude affects me negatively, to the point where it seems like I don't care anymore.

Bought a home together, things have changed since living together. She always seems miserable and it's directed at me. It happens so much I almost don't care anymore.

I was driving up to an intersection with a protected left (the light arrow was green). I got the feeling I should take the turn slow. As I got closer, a white sedan came fast from my left and sped through the red light past me as I broke to a stop. The guy going straight on my right was T-boned HARD. I heard the loud slam since my windows were down from the hot day. I completed my turn, pulled over, and called 911. Both drivers had to go to the hospital. I'm not sure if either lived.

I avoided being T-boned by a guy running a red light when I felt at the back of my mind that I should take a left turn slower than normal.

My boyfriend and I(female) been dating for two years,mostly long distance and we are both 22-23. Other than the somewhat standard communication issues, I can't imagine being happier or caring about someone more. About a year and a half ago, I had two nights(relatively close together) when I had too much to drink and became angry,unreasonable, and said things I regret. My bf was understandably upset and told me that things have to change. Since then I have avoided getting myself into that state of mind. Except this week both of us went out with friends and I wasn't thinking. I had too much at the end of the night and by the time we got home and finished any sort of sexy time, I was crying and then angry. I called him names, accused him of wanting to be with other people, just general being an ass. I apologized profusely several times, but my bf assured me that it was no big deal and I wasn't really like that so he wasn't upset. We spent the next day together and things seem normal. My question is: how badly did I mess up? Is this sort of incident unforgivable? Is there anything I can do or say to help him trust me? Or do I take his word for it that everything is fine? Part of me just wants to free him from me- something this forgiving and wonderful shouldn't have to tolerate this.

I got too drunk and said things I regret to my bf. He says everything is fine. Is it really ok and if not, is there anything I can do?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. When we're together everything is usually fine. We usually see each other once a week on a weekend due to his schedule. His work has become more casual now and ranges from weekdays and weekends. With this non fixed schedule I honestly have a hard time asking when he's available. He's the type of person that only likes to plan things the day ahead at most. When I mean plan, it's more of he'll agree to someone else's plans. He's not the type to take initiative. His average week would consist of working, boys day/night and seeing me. If they have something potentially planned then he'd rather choose the unset plan over see me. I rationalise this by telling myself that his friends are busier than me (full time work while I'm just studying) and so it's hard to find a time where they're all free whereas I have a lot of free time. It still upsets me though. As I said before, i have a hard time guessing when he is free I've been asking every other day this week whether he was free. I asked whether he was free Thursday and Friday this week both with the response of no. I admit I do get upset when he says that and tell him that I miss him and want to see him. Yesterday night when I did ask I was feeling down from an event that occurred to me earlier that day wanting a bit of comfort. In a playful and joking manner I told him how I wanted him to comfort me etc. and whether he'd make it up to me by seeing me all of next week. Well I guess he took it the wrong way and found it annoying responding with "No. Stop complaining and bothering me. I need my space". I apologised right after and didn't say anything else that night. I sent a follow up message a full day after asking whether he wanted to talk to me at all with no response. He hasn't even read the apology message the other night. I understand that he needs his own time for himself and I have been suffocating him more lately. However it seems he doesn't intend to respond or read my messages at all. I don't know whether this is normal and I don't want to overreact.

Been suffocating boyfriend and acting clingy, he coldy told me how he needed space and has responded or read my messages since. Is this normal or am I making a big deal out of nothing?

Actually happened to me this year. I was in driver's ed., and my drivers ed teacher was really strict. Anyway, everyday of the week we would go out to an empty parking lot owned by the school and drive around there. Now, there's only 2 cars provided and 18 kids in the class. So while 2 kids were in each car, the rest of the class sat on benches right outside of the driving range. Me and my friend were talking on the bench, waiting for our turn to drive. During our conversation, a lady-friend of mine walks over to us because she has something to say. She starts kicking my shin playfully to get my attention. After she tells me what she has to say, she keeps kicking my shin. So, me, being the genius that I am, jokingly grabs her foot, takes her shoe, and throws it about 10 feet over my shoulder, and gives her a solid stare into her eyes. Now, since I wasn't just going to throw her shoe and make her pick it up, I get up, grab the shoe, and give it back to her. Well my drivers ed teacher saw the whole thing and went crazy. He marched straight back to his room, called our parents, told us we weren't going to be able to take our license test, and sent me and the girl to the principal. We arrive to the principal's office and give him the whole story. Well apparently the teacher had a history of sending kids to the office for all sorts of stupid things. The principal ended up telling the teacher that he would have to give me and my lady-friend out licensing test. Also, my parents asked me about the situation and laughed about it and just told me to get a good grade in the class. I guess I didn't really get in trouble, but the teacher overreacted way more than I thought he would. I would like to apologize for any grammatical mistakes. I am on my phone.

took friends shoe, threw it, got up and picked up said shoe, and returned it to friend. Got sent to the principal's office, parents got called, and threatened to never receive my license.

We've been friends for over 10 years, always platonic. We're both in serious long-term relationships and for the most part that hasn't been an issue. We've been talking on the phone fairly often while he's at work to help him pass the time. We never really talked about sex in the past but recently we've started talking about it a lot, discussing things like what our partners won't and will do. We have a lot in common, things we enjoy doing and things we don't get to do because our partners aren't willing. I think it's great that we both have someone we feel comfortable talking about these things with, but now I find myself wondering what sex with him would be like! I'm not attracted to him physically but knowing that we're into the same stuff sexually really has me wondering. Is he thinking the same thing about me? If we're both thinking about it, will it ruin our friendship?

My best friend and I talk to each other about sex with our partners, now I think about sex with him way too often. Does he think about it? What will happen with us?

We're from Country A. We were dating in 2007, in our mid 20s in mid 2008 and we wanted to move to the Country B. However we had to get married to do that. It wasn't for a visa, but it wasn't forever either. We were in love, and wanted to stay together. I proposed to her, in the context of 'so we'd have to get married to move to the Country B'. Before we got married we told each other we'd try to make it last 5 years. It's 8 years now. My wife now has a serious career in Country B, and now has the passport she needs to exist independently from me. She's a wonderful person, and she'd make a wonderful mother. I love her family, which are far more stable than mine. I think I'll always care about her deeply. However: I want other women, all the time, and have since a few years in the relationship. I have occasionally acted on this but she doesn't know. She deserves better. she no longer pursues her passion, instead she's switched to a serious but better paid career that she doesn't like. I hate seeing her beaten this way, because I love her, but I also don't find that attractive. sex has always been poor, even when we were dating - I think she's probably 'normal', I dated a lot more before we married and have very different expectations. We've tried /everything/ for eight years, she just isn't as much a sexual person as other women. Everything else was always great which made up for it. She's never told anyone in Country B that's why we got married. Not even her sister knows, but her parents know we got married for a visa. She eats a lot of bad food and her face is getting buried in fat. The beautiful face I married is now hidden. She wants to baptise potential children. I think God is pretend. She also is a lovely, calming, clever brilliant woman. We've lived together for 8 years Breaking up will break her heart Staying will break her heart - if I cheat or leave her later when we have kids. She deserves better than that. I do love her, and I think I always will, but not in the same way. We have separate finances. We have no children. She's 35 and needs to find someone to give her children soon.

married my girlfriend, so we could stay together and she could get a visa, 8 years ago. It was a bad idea. Should I leave? How can I do it in the way that actually respects her?

The title is poorly worded, its not even really a loophole, but worded confusingly to get people to sign up for their race. It is basically "Sign up for this half and enter the Chicago Marathon lottery, if you do not get into Chicago, we will upgrade your half to a full for free; you still get to run a full this fall."

There is no loophole that gets you into Chicago, they'll just upgrade your half to a full for their race if you don't get into Chicago.

My paternal grandma died and we drove to her city for the funeral. My mom promised to take me to the mall the morning of the funeral to buy me clothes (not 18) because I didn't have formal wear. Morning of the funeral. We're supposed to leave at 10am and I'm up at 9:15am. I don't know if my parents want to shower, I want them to have time to. So I go into their room and ask them if they want to get up. This puts my mom in a bad mood. She is angry and yelling at me for waking her. I leave. My mom starts yelling at my dad. Everything he does is wrong. She tells him all sorts of bad things, like that his mother didn't want him as a son. That other people said he didn't deserve to be her son. She says this aggressively, like she's spelling it out for him, like it's a truth he needs to know. She says he doesn't care about her because he wants to carry the casket with his brothers (whom he is estranged from) because then he'll sit in a different part of the church and not next to her. She pressures him not to do it. She is threatening not to go, saying she won't get dressed. She is accusing him of treating her badly, telling him he ought to be ashamed of himself. He is broken, you can hear it in his voice. He apologizes and makes excuses for things he shouldn't have to excuse himself for, his voice cracking. She tells me I will have to wear jeans and a tshirt to the funeral, yells at me some. It's punishment for waking her at 9:15am. After her yelling for over an hour we finally go but she yells at us inside the mall too. Hurtful things, really believe they are malicious. I feel like I can't breathe and just break down crying in the middle of a strange mall. It is noon on a weekday so almost no one is there. After the funeral she yells at him for not thanking her family for coming. Is this a normal family behavior during stressful times? She has also done things like pushed me against walls and pinched me until I bruse, but mainly her anger comes through in emotionally mean ways, like telling me that it's no wonder that I have no friends.

my mom yells at us and emphasizes to us that we can't do anything right when she's a little upset, making her suffering the center of attention, even when others clearly have it worse. Is this within the realm of normal behavior for families under serious stress?

I've been living on less than $13 an hour for way longer than I care to admit. It's doable, but it requires foregoing certain things. Examples include a car made in the last 20 years, a varied and/or consistently nutritious diet, credit cards (or anything that even remotely resembles paying for shit with money you don't have), and (more often than not) the freedom that comes with living alone. It's tough sometimes; not gonna pretend otherwise. However, it's a far cry from a few years ago when I was homeless, with little more than the clothes on my back (NOT an exaggeration; they really didn't smell that great) and a desire to not fail at life bad enough to actually die. Through various means, which I won't go into here due to the sheer volume of typing that'd require, I've been able to (more or less) recover from it. Back on topic now, sure, I don't make a lot of money at this point, but I'm taking steps to change that, and soon. Also, I'm not going hungry, I have a roof over my head, and the knowledge that whatever happens, I'll be alright. So, it could be a hell of a lot worse.

You'd be surprised how good people can be at doing something, when it's the only option on the table. (Edit: Really? I forgot an entire fuckin' sentence? Wow, I need to proofread better.)

Hey, so I've been texting this girl for like a week for hours and hours a night. Anyways, yesterday she goes and does some club with all her old friends from school, and then completely ignores me. It's been over a day now without any replies, and I've sent 2 texts. I don't want to sound desperate, but at the same time, I don't really care. Literally my only concern is to understand what happened so I don't do this next time. What am I meant to do here? She won't reply to texts, leading me to believe she won't respond to calls either. Is it really all over? Once again, I really want to understand what's going on. She isn't really the type to play people along and text them for 8 hours one night and ignore them afterwords.

I've texted this girls for a week now for HOURS upon hours a night. I texted her yesterday, and I still haven't gotten a reply. I have yet to text her today. What do I do? I don't want to just "let it go".

I know this is going to sound completely immature and petty but could someone tell me [21 f] what the deal is? My mom notices it too. My friends will post pictures with another friend or two on Facebook when they hang out. I hang out with one of these friends and they don't even attempt to take pictures with me, let alone post them. I just noticed an ex who never really posted pics of me is also now posting pics with his new girlfriend. My boyfriend whom I love dearly also never posts anything on Facebook at all and hardly ever logs on. When he dated his first girlfriend some years back, he would be all mushy and post pics of her, etc.

Why does no one want to show that they are hanging out with me or be seen with me in pictures like they do with other friends? Every one of my friends does this! Am I just that ugly and unphotogenic?

A few weeks ago my gf and I sat down to watch the first episode of Orange is the New Black. We both liked it, and agreed that we would watch the whole series. She was the one that said "Let's watch it slowly, only one episode a week." I agreed half-heartedly, and went along with it for three weeks. Well, two days ago I was home and had finished up my schoolwork quicker than usual. I had nothing to do, and...I watched three episodes in one sitting. I planned on just playing it off like I had never seen the episodes. I did't see it as lying at the time. I saw it as "since she doesn't ask if I watched the episode, I am not lying." Last night we decided to watch our weekly episode, one that I had seen. I don't want to spoil the show, but in the fourth episode there is a "whodunnit" kind of episode, where one character takes something and you don't know who did it. I knew who did it. My gf (who was half asleep) mumbled "Who took it?" and I answered reflexively, forgetting that I was acting as if I hadn't seen the episode... She shot straight up, and since I have no poker face she knew right away that I had watched ahead. I apologized and admitted that I was being a bit of a jerk by doing that, but she took it a bit far. She said that I had lied to her, that it was a break in trust, and that I am now on thin ice. I would be fine with all that, and last night I accepted it. But this morning she texted me "DON'T WATCH ANY MORE EPISODES, THIN ICE" I'm not particularly a fan of all-caps, and I don't like that she is making a big deal of this. I just really liked the show, and wanted to relax after doing school work... Anyway, my question is this: Should I wait this out, and not say anything? Or should I ask her not to make a big deal out of it?

I watched three episodes ahead in a tv show, now my gf is pissed and is making a big deal of it. Should I ask her to let up?

So my gf is really sensitive. I try to be as sweet as possible, but I'll inevitably fail a few times a week. My actions include: saying "what's up" instead of "hey," having a "weird" tone when I have a quick talk with her, not wanting to do something she wants to do, or not sounding excited enough on the phone when she calls. When these things happen, sometimes I just put my arms around her and apologize. Other times, like I'll go into detail about, I'll get mad and basically tell her she's being irrational. Specifically, the "what's up" fight has really turned into a hurricane. As dumb as it sounds, I refused to apologize for saying what's up and she told me that I "had made her feel like shit because I had continued reading after she say down next to me." She then began to tear up and wipe them away from her face. I had spent all day trying to get things together for us later that evening, and upon hearing her tell me she was upset with me over "what's up" I, selfishly, got angry because "how could she be mad at me after I've been running around all day for her." Needless to say, I did not comfort her, I rather told her that she was being ridiculous and I "shouldn't have to be on pins and needles hoping I don't say a word that ruins this day." This fight escalated into a screaming match. I refused to back down and so did she. I could tell I was about to completely lose my temper so I stopped talking, this scared her. I'll admit I was probably pretty scary. I left without reconciling and we didn't speak until 3 in the morning. She told me, citing sources, that I was manipulating her feelings and holding her submissively captive by telling her that she's being irrational. She said I don't let her voice her feelings, because she's scared of me dismissing them. She said she "won't be in a relationship with someone who treats her like that," and continued by saying "she can always leave me, she doesn't have to stay." I don't mean to manipulate her. I just can't gather myself to drop everything I'm doing and apologize for whatever I've done all the time. It's not that I won't apologize when I've done something wrong, I just can't stomach being told to just "make her feel better, regardless of how i think she's acting." I don't want to lose her, but I know, no matter how hard I try, I'm going to keep hurting her. Please help

Gf is really sensitive and gets hurt by things I'm not even aware I'm doing. I flipped out the other night and don't know where to go from here.

Laughter is the Best Medicine" This show will answer the question: can you teach people how to be funny? Here is how I envision a few of the archetypes in the cast: The Hank Hill/Ron Swanson: serious suburban father whose family convinces him to audition for show The Virgin: After seeing that 99% of personal ads list "sense of humor" as a requirement in a potential mate, he decides cracking wise is the key to tapping ass. The Ambitious Type A Go-Getter: You're supposed to open your presentations with a joke but his flat delivery [makes Prince William look as animated as Chris Rock in comparison]( Each week a different celebrity comic attempts to teach these guys and girls the tricks of their [comedic genre]( For instance during prop comedy week, [Carrot Top]( demonstrates how to inject anabolic steroids so you can be strong enough to lift up all those [heavy props on stage]( while Gallagher would show how to pepper in right wing rants while the stage hands lay out that next watermelon for smashing. Dane Cook could handle anti-comedy week while Tracy Morgan would show [how to kill in comedy]( I am perilously close to

territory so for the sake of brevity let's just say the rest of the show would be your typical American Idol/Last Comic Standing style mash-up.

My boyfriend is 22 (male), I'm 20 (female), and we've been officially together for about a month, though seriously dating since the beginning of this February. When we tried to have sex, I noticed that he was having trouble keeping it up (i.e. maintaining an erection) so after a few attempts to have sex, I asked him what the deal was... He told me he had been taking oxycontin every day for about a month (not for medical purposes) but he quit taking them. This was the cause of his sexual problems. This made sense since a few days prior to our conversation, I slept over his apartment one night and he was really sick...turned out to be from drug withdrawal. Anyway, he told me that I was the only person who knew he'd been taking oxycontin (none of his friends knew) and he was so grateful I didn't judge him. Plus I was partly his motivation for quitting the drugs, since he didn't want it to interfere with our sex life and I provided him with moral support. It definitely brought us closer, and luckily he doesn't mess around with drugs like that any more. I told my best girl friend about this because initially I told her he and I were having sex problems and I wanted her opinion - before I found out about the drugs...then when she asked me how things were I told her about the drugs. I told my sister because I tell her everything. Then I told another of my best girl friends because I wasn't really thinking and I accidentally blurted it out. I know I'm a complete idiot, and I feel extremely guilty. Should I tell my boyfriend that I shared his secret, and apologize? Or is it too early in the relationship to gain back his trust? Is it really a big deal that I even told my friends? I trust them not to tell any one - they're not the gossiping type and they care about me enough to keep it a secret - and my BF never asked me not to tell anyone (though it was sort of implied). I feel like a terrible girlfriend, and I know I need to learn to keep my mouth shut...but in the mean time, what should I do?

My BF was taking oxycontin, I was the only one who knew about it. I told 3 of my friends and I feel really guilty now. Any advice is welcome, and I thank you for reading this.

Context -- I (M,19) had lunch with girl (F,19) twice. They went well. We talked nonstop. Also have drunk texted her twice (once saying that i think she's pretty and the other one is negligible) and have asked her out to a party once but she had a legitimate excuse... ==Today== Me: Lunch with you has been super-fun but I'd love to take you out to dinner sometime. Her: Umm I have a lot of things this weekend so I'll have to see but we'll figure something out. Sounds good. Me: What's the best way to contact you? cheesy smile Her: Just text me! Update: I talked to her in person and asked her how this weekend works for her. She said Saturday night works best. I brought up an on-campus performance that sounded interesting and she said she wanted to go. I suggested we go to it together and go for dinner afterwards and she said "Yes, sounds good." Good news?

Girl knows I like her, is friendly with me, we've gotten lunch twice. Asked her out and she said we'll figure something out via text. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN IN FEMALE-SPEAK?

This is tricky. Don't trap someone just because you want kids. That's incredibly selfish, and someone's ENTIRE life that you're messing with. But if you can get pregnant and be mature enough to walk away and do it by yourself (IF he was adament from day one about NOT wanting kids, and the kid was ONLY brought about by YOUR doing) then go for it.

Don't trick somebody. If a baby accidently happens, then yeah, dude should help take care of it. If a baby happened because of trickery, then that's your responsibility.

I run a wedding photography company that does a fairly large number of weddings each year (we'll wind up doing around 70 in 2014) and have personally photographed around 250 weddings at this point. While there isn't a surefire way of knowing, I think I have a statistically significant level of accuracy for guessing whether a couple will still be together in five or ten years. For me, there are two giveaways: 1) What people who give speeches (maid of honor, best man, father of the bride) say about the person their friend/relative is marrying is a huge giveaway. Do they feel like this person enriches their new spouse's life? Do they see them as an extension of their family or as a close friend? Are their anecdotes about how each person complements the other? Or are they simply "happy for them"? I've heard some truly heartfelt, touching words shared during toasts... and have heard others that were seriously underwhelming. If it isn't easy for you to think of why this person is a good match for your friend, that's a bad sign. 2) This is going to sound totally cheesy but I feel even more strongly about this: what happens during the cake cutting . Sweetly feeding one another? Good sign. A playful smear of icing on the nose? No problem. But every once in a while someone will retaliate --bad sign. I think it's indicative of the sort of contempt which will doom the relationship. Even if you don't want that fondant on your face, you need to be able to laugh it off and have a good time. That said, there are always exceptions: one couple whose rehearsal dinner and wedding I photographed (and who seemed to be totally in love and have the unequivocal support of both friends and family) essentially got divorced on their honeymoon. When they came back to town, she "disappeared" (the groom's words), only to reappear a week later to take all of her things. I still wonder what happened on that trip to evoke such a strong turn of events... And it's worth noting that, oh, 95% of our couples are truly sweet, awesome people who seem very deeply in love.

Yes, we can totally tell by how your friends toast you and how you treat one another when you've got slices of cake in your hands.

When I first found out about 9/11, my brother and I were playing on our Nintendo. Super Mario bros. Anyway, my mom was making a cake or brownies or something. And my late, great, grandpa called her and said "Kim, you need to turn on the tv and go to channel something . So she did. And she watched the 2nd tower get hit on live tv. And I walk out to her, see that she is crying. She just tells me to play my game. So I did. Still had a feeling that something was fucky though.

super Mario bros is a good way to relieve stress, especially during 9/11. Edit: just remembered that my mother setup a 5k, or a memorial type thing for the people who lost their lives that day, sometime after 9/11 happened.

I have been trying to break the habit of getting on Reddit for relationship advice. I really think I'm only questioning myself because of the break up a few months ago. Anyhow, I met this great girl two weeks ago. She is 36, no kids, no divorces, no baggage. Gorgeous, looks 29-30, at most. We have already gone on one date and it went great. Lots of laughs, touching me, kissed a few times at the end of the night. She asked me "We're going to do this again, right?" It's clear, SHE IS INTERESTED. I had to go out of town for a work trip this week, we went out on Sunday. I literally left our date and got on the road. I haven't spoke to her all week because i've been working 12 hour days and I'm out of town. She isn't big on texting, but she will respond always. She had expected I would be back in town this weekend, now I have to stay here work says. I don't want to play games, but I don't want anything to be too much too soon. I just don't know what the heck to do. I know I should just be myself, and be sweet(my cousin's advice, who knows her.) It would be too much to ask for her to come to me, it's a 4 hour drive and I've only known her for two weeks.

Just starting talking to new girl, she is CLEARLY interested, don't want to mess it up. She is 36, although I don't think the age matters. Advice?

I am going to see her tomorrow however so it is not like I have no means to contact her at all. I was thinking of not going up to her and reminding her. This is because I think it's a bit needy of me to show that. Also, if she remembers all the way from Thursday that she had plans with me tomorrow it pretty much guarantees that she's into me. It's also a bit risky, because what if she doesn't? Or should I just go up to her and ask if she remembered, in a very non-chalant way? To me it seems clingy, but it guarentees the date. I just want an opinion on what you would do if you were in my little situation. And if you look at my post history, I'll have you know this one is my age :3

Should I go up to her and remind her, confirming the date? Will that seem clingy if I do? Or should I see if she remembered, which would tell me if she's interested at all, and risk it.

This is a doozy. So I had known this girl for a while and we were friends who started talking more and more until finally I asked her out on a date. She said yes and I was stoked and planned some cool stuff to do. We started with dinner as most first dates do and then I get this bright idea to drive us up to the local reservoir where the water was really low (It was early spring/late winter) and you could drive down the boat ramp pretty far. We get there and things are going great. Listening to music and talking about everything. I had been fighting a flu-like feeling for the better part of two days but ignored it. So we had been talking so long that the radio turned off, which is normal in my car WHEN IT ISNT ON AND RUNNING OFF THE BATTERY. Shit. I go to turn the car on so we can head back into town and it won't start and we are stranded. So we get out to try and call out to a friend of ours to get a jump and neither of us have service. I'm feeling like a real douche at this point so we get out to try and get to higher ground. As we step out, it's fucking cold as balls with a brutal wind chill. I start shivering something horrendous and begin to sweat. This is when I feel a bolus of digested food begin to rumble. I hold it down and play it cool as we finally get service and shamefully call the aid of my friend. We get back into the car and I'm in full fever and can't stop shaking so she gives me her coat and we proceed to make awkward conversation as I sit, clearly sick. I feel the vomit coming on and in my feverish delirium I ask "can we kiss? I'm about to puke and would like to kiss you before that happens." she declines in the sweetest way possible. This leads to me crawling out of the car and vomiting all over the side of my car. I get back in and realize I have vomited on my pants. So there we are, for a good 30 minutes, stewing in my own stomach contents. We get picked up and driven home, without a word spoken from anyone in the car. We talked a few times after that, but naturally never went out again.

Took a girl out, asked her to kiss before I puked everywhere. She declined. I puked on myself. Stewed in vomit for a good hour. 2nd date did not happen.

I (30f)found out my boyfriend (34m) of 4 months opened an online dating profile about two months after we because exclusive. I was devastated and am freaking out. He just told me he loves me a week ago and I feel the same. We get along amazingly. He is the first man in years I have felt a true honest connection with. We made conscious mutual decision to be together exclusively and detailed all online accounts etc. He suggested em make it fb official etc. He is never super protective Iver his phone. He is under a lot of stress with work and an ill parent. Thins moved pretty quick with us. He has met all my family etc. Hr is divorced and has been cheated on but (says) he has never chested. I confronted him and he said he dosent use the account. He has never really engaged in it but just browsed. He knew it was wrong and stored but never deleted it. He also said that he was watching porn and then wants to browse POF because that is what he had done previously. He told me I'm very caring and amazing and done nothing wrong. He wants to be with me and loves me. He wants this to work. He is deeply sorry and didn't want to hurt me. There also had been a lack of sex in the relationship which he states is due to stress I'm town. Ita still a new fresh relationship and I've been told when someone shows you are the first time to believe them. But then again he has been through alot and crests it a couple months ago. I don't knoe how to feel or what to do or how to handle it. Please help!!!

My (30f) BF (34m) had a secret online dating account. He days it was on a whim and he never used it. I don't know what to believe or what to do?

My GF has been with her parents on a vacation for a month and we haven't gotten to spend any holidays together. I've seen her family only twice since we've dated. She's coming back in 2 weeks and just told me today that I "might want to look at flights because they have some cheap deals," and that she wanted to visit her grandparents (who are very ill). I told her I'd love to go with her (and even offered to pay) and see her grandparents. Last time I saw them, we got along really well and they told me to come visit. She told me that she wanted to take the trip alone and have a couple days to herself, and gave me no explanation why except that she "wasn't trying to offend me" and thought telling me she made plans without me would be better than just going and not letting me know. I don't really understand this. I told her that I'd be there for her support and that I haven't seen her family in awhile...then she said she didn't want me to come because they're so sick...and I said it's no worry, I would love to help take care of them. Then she told me they don't need to be taken care and they're not that sick but she would rather I come when they aren't ill...that she is just going to be visiting and "going shopping" and stuff like that. She said she wants to go with me when we can go longer than two days...but I told her I can't really take a whole week off work and two days is the perfect time (flights are only 20 bucks for that weekend too). Also, she's going literally right after she gets back from her vacation. She made the plans a few weeks ago and didn't tell me about it until now...which I also don't understand. I kinda have hurt feelings, and she really gave me no other explanation than "I'm not hurting you. I just want to go alone."

GF has been on vacation and wants to take a trip to see her grandparents right when she gets back, doesn't want me to go.

I dated a woman (who at the time I thought was "THE one") for 3 months before finding out that I was "the OTHER one." Over this time I had spent hundreds of hours on the phone with her talking her through her depression, showing up at her work with flowers, taking her and her young daughter out to nice restaurants, keeping her grandfather (her only family) company for afternoons while she ran out on errands or health issues (she kept telling me about tons of new mental and physical health issues she kept getting)... Then I found out by a Facebook post that a friend of hers put on her page asking about the man she's seeing that this friend met the last week... That man was not me. I asked her about it and hoped she'd say it was just a mistake or a misunderstanding, but then she broke down crying, telling me that she had been seeing this other guy for 6 months at the time (3 longer than me), and that she didn't think he was the one for her, but that she'd probably end up marrying him because he had a kid from a previous marriage too (I was childless, and somehow this was logical to her), and that she loved us both and wanted to know if I would still stick around. She didn't make it sound like she was going to choose one of us over the other, and I was so pissed off at the time, so I just left. Coming to the realization weeks later that all the times I babysat her grandfather or her kid she was probably out shagging the other guy really wrecked me. She had apparently made up her stress issues and cancer scares in order to get some from the other guy. The last I checked they were married, and she gained about 60 pounds after the wedding.

Dated a woman for 3 months, found out on Facebook that she was also banging another dude for much longer than she knew me, she asked if I wouldn't mind still banging her on the side, I left, she married him and got fat.

My boyfriend is a few years older than me, and as of right now I don't know if my school has any rules regarding the age of guests. We've talked about it before and I know he isn't DYING to go with me (he hates dancing, doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of sloppy teenagers) and I don't want to have to put him through that. I know it's cliche and slightly immature of me, but I don't really want to go to prom dateless, even if I know I have the most amazing boyfriend waiting to take me out for dinner later, or whatever. Now, I would obviously be going with this other person as friends and I would make that abundantly clear to him, but I think the other guy I was thinking of bringing has a crush on me, or feelings for me of some sort. I've known him since October (I work with him) and he's only 20, so I have a feeling he would have a much better chance of being let in. I'm obviously going to talk to my boyfriend about it, but I don't even want to mention it if I get a negative reaction on here. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

my boyfriend is probably too old to go to a high school prom, would it be weird if I brought a boy more my age if we went as friends?

Currently, I live at home with my mom while I work full time, go to school part time, and save for my own place. I pay rent, pay for my own phone, my own car insurance, and come November, I will be on my own health insurance policy. My mom and I have not always seen eye-to-eye on things, but overall, I'd like to think we have an okay relationship. Last night, she was telling me that I don't help out enough around the house, mainly with cleaning. I can see where she is coming from because I'm not around on weekends (Friday after work to Sunday afternoons). I work roughly an hour away, so I leave around 6:30 am and I'm home anywhere between 6 and 7 pm (depending on traffic). Once I'm home, I have dinner with the family, which is about a half hour, then I have classwork I need to do. I also try to get to sleep between 10 and 11. So I'm home roughly 30-40 waking hours. When I'm home, I'm mainly in my room, the shared bathroom with my 15 yr old brother, kitchen or laundry room. I don't really use the living room since my mom hangs out there mainly and watched TV shows I don't care to watch usually. The loft in the house is my brother's "man-cave." The areas I use, I keep fairly clean and help with the dishes and laundry. My mom can be passive-aggressive, which can make communicating logically a little difficult. Last night, she admitted to leaving the vacuum out upstairs to see how long it would take before I would vacuum. Where the vacuum was located, I thought she had put it there to keep it out of the way until this weekend, when someone would take care of it and vacuum the upstairs. So it was out 3 days. We've talked in the past about cleaning chores between her, me and my brother. Vacuuming upstairs was for me OR my brother. So to me, I don't see it being a huge deal that it was out for a couple days. My mom also likes things her way now or not at all. I know her and I also have different cleaning standards. For example, she prefers to dust every weekend, whereas, I will dust every other weekend, maybe every 3 weeks. I figure, since I'm the only one going in my room, why should I meet her standards of clean? I talked with my boyfriend about this situation looking for suggestions on compromising, but he couldn't come up with any, because he thinks that since I pay rent, I do plenty by keeping my areas clean, plus helping with laundry and dishes.

What are some suggestions on how to compromise with my mom who says I don't clean enough at home, even though I clean my areas?

My friend is trying to buy a book for her 12 year old niece - preferably one that doesn't revolve around vampires and boys, and is vaguely intelligent. The niece is a little anti-fantasy, although she does watch fantasy films, so maybe something that isn't as hardcore as Terry Pratchett novels - something that can ease into the fantasy genre.

looking for a book for a 12 year old girl that doesn't involve vampires, boys or hardcore elf action. EDIT - thanks for your suggestions everyone! We've got plenty of ideas for several birthdays and Christmases now. Tempted to read a few of these myself.

So I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years a couple weeks ago by walking out of his place and taking all my stuff with me. At the time I wasn't thinking much and was just angry over a stupid fight we had and needed to get away from it (not going to lie, I did this a lot in our relationship). I even left him the spare keys to his place I had, but again in the heat of the moment I didn't think much of it. Normally when we had fights like this he would reach out to me after a couple of days and I had calmed down and we would work things out and everything would go back to normal, but this time I heard nothing from him and debated reaching out to him all week. I finally got the courage to send out a text which I received no reply to and let it be for the night. The next day I couldn't get over the panic and anxiety I was feeling so I texted again basically saying I was sorry and if he really wanted to end the relationship to simply tell me if he really wanted to breakup. Again, I got no reply so I went full blown panic mode and called several times and even left voicemails asking him to just talk to me briefly and get some kind of "closure". When my calls weren't returned I got really nervous and ended up walking to his place (its not too far from mine) only to see that he was apparently not home so I promptly texted him that I had stopped by and had tried to contact him, but clearly failed so I said my goodbyes and I still have yet to hear a thing from him. Im just posting hoping that you guys could give me some advice. I feel a lot of anxiety thinking that our relationship is really over and this is unfortunately how it ends without any actual goodbyes or last sentiments. I've tried distracting myself by talking with friends and have been exercising a lot, but even though my body is exhausted my mind and heart never are. I just really don't understand why he won't even acknowledge my messages after how much we have invested in each other and this relationship. It really messes with my mood as soon as I start to dwell on it. I still love him a lot and regret my actions that led us here and feel like I probably deserve his silent treatment, but it still hurts.

Walked out on my bf of 4 years after a fight and now he won't respond to any of my attempts to talk to him.

My ex gf is in Florida, and I am in California. There is a long story as to why I am here and she is there, but long story short: I made my mistakes and learned from them; unfortunately, the mistakes hurt her and broke her trust in me and she has little respect for me... So, I wrote a beautiful poem (we liked writing poems/notes to each other), made a CD for her, and have a little note at the end "Do you have it in your heart to trust me again?" I don't know if I should mail that or to send a video message being real and asking if she has it in her heart to trust me, and if she wanted to start Skyping and reading "7 Principles of Making a Marriage Work" with me, to see if we there is anything we can do to have a more successful relationship. I love both places, and I can have a successful career in both, but, if she does not have it in her heart to trust me, again, in an intimate relationship setting, then I don't think moving back will be good for me... And, I will carry on life as a dear friend who cares deeply for her well-being. I feel if she is willing to try and trust me, then I will move back and do my best to have a successful relationship with her. Kinda torn on what to do... Be real or be romantic. Being real seems like the better approach; being as transparent as possible about where I am. She made it very clear to me that she doesn't want to communicate about our past relationship in a cross-country fashion. Unfortunately, I feel that there is way more to the situation then what I can afford to fly back and forth for, but I don't feel I am in the position to "disagree" with her. But, I truly feel that Skype would fulfill that problem. The other possible option: Ask her a good time I can fly back in the next couple of weeks, and ask her/talk to her that way. I feel this option will show her that I am serious about trying to earn her trust.

I want advice on whether I should write a letter/romantic poem, send a video message, or ask her a good time I can come visit to see her, to ask my ex-gf if she can trust me again.

I've been single for what feels like a really long time, and every time I like a guy, I get mentally too involved very quickly. If I like a guy, I'm very confident and will flirt openly, or ask him out. If I get a positive reaction, my imagination gets away from me and the next thing I know, I'm imagining us enjoying our 1 year anniversary of dating. In short, this is terrifying for guys, and slowly becoming more scary for me, because I feel like I'm shooting myself in the foot every time something starts to go well. How do I teach myself to just let things be and not try to make things happen at a faster pace? How do I not become so attached so quickly?

I scare any guy interested in me off by becoming too attached and serious too quickly! I need to teach myself to be more independent and slow things down mentally!

So anyways, I started a new job a few weeks ago and there's this girl there that I get along quite well with. We come from the same part of town so we have a lot to talk about and just kinda clicked really. So last week I casually asked her if she wanted to grab lunch, she said she couldn't because her workload was crazy at the moment so she said next week. We send emails back and fourth quite a bit but sometimes she doesn't reply, I just assumed it was down to her being busy and didn't think much of it. So we get to today and we were suppose to go lunch together. It get’s to around 12pm and I email her asking if we are still on for today. She didn’t email back but instead came over and apologised saying that she’s really busy with work again but she was being really apologetic about it, at the time I didn’t know why. I didn’t think much of it and I just told her “don’t worry, doesn’t matter, we can go anytime, I don’t mind”. And that was that. I send her another email just now just for general chit chat which is when I realised something strange. When I hit the send button the text disappeared for a split second as it was sent before it went back to the inbox screen. (Just to point out now, I've been using a fairly new email client which is still in beta) That’s odd I thought, I went to look at my sent messages and then it hit me… 80% of the messages I had sent her were empty, completely empty. No subject. No content. Just empty. All week I’ve been sending her blank messages like some rude freak.

Been getting along well with this girl at my new job, we send emails and sometimes she doesn't reply. Turns out I've been sending blank emails due to a buggy email client.

Okay, so 3 days ago i was to a first aid class! 8 hours strait. One of my old classmate was there, together with a girl, both girls 18 years and such. But i've talked a little with this girl nothing special, a little chemistry between us, nothing special. The next day, i was out drinking! Had a great time, and guess who comes to the same bar, this girl! She sits around 5 meters in front of me, and we both look at each other like we seen each other before, I first realize it was the same girl when she left. So i texted our mutual friend to ask for her name, because i never actually got it. So last night i got her name and found her on Facebook, and now she is asking who i am. (i have a fake name on facebook because i got drunk once and thought the name was awesome) What should i do? text her or just hope we meet sometime? If you guys hate me, well ** you it's a throwaway! :D

Met a girl at a first aid class, talked a lot, never got her name, Met her the other day, texted the mutual friend, got her name, and she doesn't remember me...

So I've been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend ever since June of this year. Things started out nicely as we talked everyday in order to keep ourselves connected. It wasn't until a few weeks ago, around 2-3 weeks where she wouldn't reply, which at times might take anywhere between a few hours to up to 2 days. We've talked at a point about this, how she wants to be serious about the relationship and try to communicate more and how I believe it's important for us to talk to keep ourselves connected, among other feelings between the two of us. However, the gaps between my messages and hers have widened again, with certain days having conversation among us. I understand that she and I have our busy moments and we have times when we're not able to talk. I've been very steadfast at staying with her during those times, very much understanding the situations she's gone through within the last 2 months at her prior job. Still, it gets me anxious, nervous, and a bit frustrated when I can't get some reply back from her after a few hours or even a day or two. Is this relationship something I should stop pursuing?

GF of 3 months (Friend since 6-7 months) has gone through bouts of no response in our messages. I understand communication is important to me, and have communicated this, but I'm not getting replies. Should I end our relationship and stay friends?

So I came out of a long and unhappy relationship several months ago. Throughout my recovery period I had an amazing female friend by my side. I've known here for years and she's done wonders to restore my emotional state after some things that happened in my previous relationship. As a result of this, I've come to realise that the person I really loved was sitting on the side line while I spent two years of my life in a horrible mess of a relationship. Now I desperately want to start a relationship with this girl, but I don't know whether it's a realistic possibility. She shows interest in me, we flirt a bit and perhaps more importantly we're totally comfortable with each other's presence, touch etc. However, I can't tell whether this is just because we're ridiculously close friends who've been through a lot together or because she, like me, actually feels something more. We've been there for each other for years now and I'm torn up about what to do. Thanks for anyone who offers advice. I am more than happy to provide as much additional info as may be required.

I have fallen for my best friend after coming out of a horrible relationship, don't know whether to risk it or try push my feelings away.

When I was about, there was this girl who was obsessed with me. We were introduced by a mutual friend and we talked quite a lot over the internet. It wasn't obvious to me that she fancied me, but apparently she did. She and I had a couple of relationships with other people, and then out of the blue she dumped her boyfriend and told me that she loved me. We'd never met at this point, and I definitely didn't fancy her at all, and honestly found her attention slightly creepy. I sort of got paralysed by it all and didn't tell her yes or no because I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't fancy her back. Eventually I told her no, but it took me two weeks. She then decided it would be best if she didn't talk to me for two months so she could 'get over me'. After those two months, she got back in contact and said she was fine now and wanted to resume our friendship. She then invited me to her 18th birthday party. Immediately alarm bells started to ring in my head, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I said I'd go (bear in mind this would be the first time we actually met). I was incredibly awkward the whole time, and she was very forward, if you understand. She would sit on my lap, and place my arm around her shoulders. She had told me it ended at 6pm, but I have a feeling she had told everyone else it was around 5pm because that's when they all left. We went into her bedroom and she leant in for a kiss and I, being a 17 year old boy who hadn't kissed a girl for a long time, kissed back. I mean, she wasn't the most attractive of girls, but she was not bad looking by any stretch of the imagination. I enjoyed the kiss... it really was very passionate. As soon as I left I got this sick feeling in my stomach and I have never regretted doing something so quickly after it happened. I knew right away it was a mistake. She was, of course, over the moon about the whole thing, assuming that we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I eventually worked up the courage to tell her that I didn't want to be her boyfriend and that it would be better for both of us if we didn't speak again. I don't think she took it very well, but it was truly the best thing that I could have done for both of us. Really, I should have done it right at the start when she told me her feelings. I just can't shake the feeling that the upset and disappointment I caused ruined her 18th birthday, which really is supposed to be a landmark. It makes me feel sad to think about, and I'd love to apologise.

I didn't let a girl who was obsessed with me know that I didn't like her back and probably ended up ruining her 18th birthday, and never really apologised for it.

I was recently in New York with my mother (I'm 29, first real vacation we've ever gotten to take together). We decided to go to Keen's Steakhouse because.. steak. So we're seated next to two older gentlemen. I'm from Canada so I'm not used to it, but the tables are really close together in this restaurant, so it's almost impossible to not overhear the conversation they're having. I keep hearing "Yeah Jim, the one that owns 7 nuclear power plants" and other phrases that you are just not used to hearing in a normal dinner conversation. As the evening progresses it's apparent that these two are getting a little intoxicated; my mom gets up to use the washroom and while she's gone I strike up a conversation with them. Explain "Oh I'm from Nova Scotia" and one of them kinda freaks out "Oh man! I've been there before! Like 30 years ago I took my girlfriend to Kejimkujik!" So after a 40-50 minute conversation with these two about live, vacations and the 25 year career these two have enjoyed together, they throw this on us: "Hey, there's a private event at Major Bloomberg's residence on Friday. When did you say your flight was leaving?" We explained that our flight left Newark at 9pm, which turned out to be an hour after the event started. "Are you sure you can't make it? I could always get my car to come get you at the hotel.."

I was invited to a private party at Major Bloomberg's residence by two complete strangers while on an amazing vacation, but couldn't make it because of flight costs. :(

Hello Reddit. Long story short I feel like my boyfriend of 5 years is always stressed out and "woe is me" no matter what is going on. When we first met he worked shift work, we had very limited time together, plus he was divorced and had a pretty unusual custody arrangement where he had his kid way more than most dads do. Which is a great thing, but seemed to contribute to his stress levels a lot. He had very limited free time and we had very limited couple time. Between all that and his job, he was super stressed all the time and everything seemed to revolve around his stress and anxiety. He was always miserable, always complaining, always unhappy. Flash forward to now and he has a normal schedule, M-F, day shift. He has his son every weekend and two days during the week - his choice. The thing is that even though his situation is so much better, he's still anxiety-ridden and stressed a lot of the time. Of course, he vents to me, which is fine. But after 5 years I just don't know how to be supportive anymore. I try to listen and not really say anything but sometimes I feel the need to point out, hey, look back to the way your life was five years ago - that was miserable. It's SO much better now. He doesn't want to hear that. My patience is just wearing a little thin. Like, when are things ever going to be in a state of "everything's okay"? I know people's lives go through rough patches but he just seems to always be having a rough time even when things have improved tremendously. And for some things, he seems to bring it on himself. He has his son every weekend which was his choice, and he also chooses to spend two extra days with him. That of course is absolutely wonderful, but if you are constantly stressed about not having time to yourself or two seconds to breathe, those are optional days that you could pull back on to take some time for yourself. His entire family has a similar stressed out, martyr complex thing going on, so I don't know if this is just a learned habit or what. He obviously isn't going to change his situation or his attitude so how can I respond better? I don't want to be unsupportive but I don't like listening to someone bitch and complain even when their life is way better than it was. Especially when they could do something to change it, and they refuse to. It gets tiring. I don't want to be selfish but it gets draining after awhile.

Boyfriend always seems stressed out no matter what is going on or how much things have improved in his life. I have a hard time knowing what to say after years of listening to him vent pretty much on a weekly basis.

We've been together for 9 months and I love her more than anything. But we recently been on a break where (reluctantly for me might i add) we see other people. I didn't think anything of this and didnt bother to try to see anyone. I had no desire to. It's been 10 days... I've been lonely just working and staying at home. Well... She came over today and informed me she saw this guy, a real scumbag, like when I say scumbag I mean he bragged at football about "fucking this hot ass milf in the bed of my truck and she gave me a rim job and she called but I never talked to her again" kinda guy. Like that's a true story. Well she recently moved to here and I know she didnt know how much of a shit bag this guy is, and well they went on 4 dates. I know it's not too big a deal, she apologized and cried a lot today, but they did stuff that her and I do on our dates, which sucked to think about. He took her to downtown, then to a really nice fudge place her and I go to. It sucks knowing this, she also saw a movie with him. They only kissed, well "made out" twice. That's fine. It bothers me but life goes on I suppose. She said she wants to be with me and not him, and I'm seeing her again tomorrow.. I guess I'm just writing this cause I'm hurt, don't know what to do or how to feel. I punched a God damned tree today for crying out loud.. Which shows I don't know what to do.. I've never cried so much... Fuck relationships are hard :'(

girlfriend went out and dated and I didn't think she was seriously going to... I know this guy too and sent a message to him.. Fuck this guy. Really. >:(

Hi, Currently I'm in a applied mathematics and software engineering program and in my 2nd year. I really enjoy data analysis and statistics and while my traditional brown parents told me to do engineering, I felt that this option would be an easier way to branch into a data analysis role due to the applied math component of it. Except one problem. I hate it. The math is more sets and number sequences and theory crap, not stats or analysis or the stuff that I want to be doing. I had talked to profs before joining this discipline and they had promised me that there would in fact be stats in this, but so far there hasn't been any and after voicing this concern again last semester, they told me that it would be later on in 3rd or 4th year. Also, due to my lack of Fs given, my GPA has gone down the toilet so I'm probably not going to be able to do a dual degree or anything of the sort. I also talked to a career advisor about possibly switching and she mentioned that yes it would naturally be more statistics and stuff that I want to be doing, but also might provide some difficulties in the future as more companies would prefer to hire a person with an engineering degree versus a science degree for the same position. Is this in fact true? Have engineers found it pretty easy to get data analyst roles or would it be better to be the math major? Furthermore, can you expand from a math/stats degree to becoming a business analyst or will the people with business degrees generally always beat you out? Also does anyone have any experience with transferring to a new faculty where your GPA doesn't meet the requirements of transferring? I know that engineers have more job opportunities than maths/stats people, but if it were for more data analysis jobs, or business analyst jobs, wouldn't they be about equal? Thanks for the advice!!

Thinking of switching from engineering to math/stats for becoming a data analyst, just want to know if this is career suicide or if it is somewhat feasible.

Since I was young, I have been attracted to men aged age 30-50. I can't remember a time I'd ever had a crush on someone within my age range- anyone I've been attracted to has been at least 30 years or older, no exceptions, even when I was 10 or 11. Now at age 26, I am running into trouble with this preference. I have been involved with married men before, and most of the men I am attracted to turn out to be married. Which makes sense since they are between the ages of 40-50. I am NOT attracted to that sort of thing- they are not attractive to me because they're married. I'm attracted to them because they are older, paternal, and usually authoritative- and those men tend to already be married. To be clear, I am extremely self-aware of all of my behaviors and psychology. I know I am attracted to father figures because my own father was absent, and I always felt that hole in my heart, in my life, and now that's all I chase after. I always knew I was "different" from my peers and I have tried to pretend to be attracted to people my age. Unfortunately, it's never been real. I've tried to lie to myself, lie to my friends, force myself to change my attractions. I told my mother a few times about how I like older men and would like to marry someone 40-50 years old and she was horrified and told me it was a terrible idea, men die earlier, you'll be miserable, you don't want an old father for your children, it's not right, etc, etc. But I'm just exhausted. I like what I like. Is that okay? I want someday to marry a man who is older and paternal, but without any drama involved (married, affairs, etc.) It's all I long for.

I am aware of the fact that I'm looking for a father figure in my sexual relationships- is this something I need to "fix" or can I just accept it as just a part of me?

After reading a lot of these comments I found I actually have something to add to the discussion. Just to get this out of the way I'm American, I am circumcised but I'm by no means an advocate for it. I've obviously seen both sides to this argument, but something hit me as I read a few of the lesser upvoted comments, and that is that someone called this some sort of a negative term and then custom, of the US. It got me to thinking and this really is something people harass others about. I hear lots of people say how they wouldn't stretch their lips out like many tribes in Africa and India, and stuff like that, while they simultaneously dismiss it as a foreign custom and don't get nearly as heated about it. Now I know there are several differences, don't get me wrong, and it obviously has just been passed down from religious tradition, but all I'm saying is that there are many similar or worse bodily mutilation customs that people dismiss as just that, while this seems to be advocated as much worse. Maybe it's because we're in the "modern world" and supposed to be more about human rights, but other countries that would so readily attack for it should just think that it's a custom that's been around for a long time and it's hard to just break it. I mean my parents aren't religious, neither of them, and weren't when I was born either. And yet, here I am circumcised. I'm not saying I'm going to circumcise my kids when I have any for mindless tradition, especially because I'm not religious, I just found it interesting that people were so personally heated against this.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, it's a custom that's been passed down and a hard habit to break for a country, don't take it so personally?

Hello, I have a serious crush with a girl, she is a classmate, we take the same classes and we hangout with the same small group of friends, I feel confused with the mied signals, here's what happened:   I asked her out a month ago, she said yes but that she would text me when, nothing happened, and in school it felt awkward between both, she would ask me casual stuff but you could tell something was off, then I asked her again a second time 2 weeks later, just because I needed to know, started using lame excuses and told me to ask her the next day.   The next day she told me she was interested in somebody else and that she felt it was unfair for me, that we could go out but as friends, I was speechless and as we had to go because college was done for the day, we took separte ways, I texted her what was on my mind, and she told me that she didn't want to lose me as a friend and stuff, so basically friendzoned me. And I started to forget about her, and mind my own business. But now she started looking for me, trying to get us to hangout and she's been playful.   But it's all pretty strange, because, one weekend she asked me if I could stay after college to help her, I agreed but unexpected things like surprise test made me stay longer at college and she wouldn't stay, so it never happen.   I like being around her, but I suspect I'm deep in the friendzone, I want to be more than friends with her. What do I do?  

got rejected by a girl, she said that we are friends, but now she is playful and looking to hangout.   Sorry for the wall of text and the title, I don't know how to change it. And thanks for the time :)

Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here. I didn't introduce TV to my son until he was over 1 year old, and limited it for a while (2 1/2 or 3). He's 4 1/2 now and has been watching a lot of TV for the past year or so. (Like several hours a day). I felt really bad about it at first, but we kind of fell into the pattern because I stay at home with him and it's tough to entertain a child all day every day. I regret nothing. I'm really choosy about what he's watching. He loves Dora the Explorer more than anything. He knows about 20 Spanish words just from watching Dora. The other day he started talking about how you can float in space; I thought he learned this in preschool but nope - cartoons. That's only a small fraction... He's constantly spouting facts at me... "Mom, did you know...?" He's also really proficient at using the computer. He can open the browser and click the shortcut I have setup to PBSkids.org - and navigate their website without help. He can also turn on the TV by himself and navigate kids' netflix. I was trying to help my friend's son use the kiddie computer at the library and he couldn't even use the mouse. Don't get me wrong... he doesn't watch cartoons all day every day - but probably more than most kids. He also goes to preschool 2 days a week, does a gymnastics class once a week (and about to start soccer), and goes to the gym (daycare setting) with me almost every weekday. Its funny because at the gym's daycare, they usually have the TV on and I have NEVER seen him watching it there; while most of the other kids his age are glued to it. We also go to storytime at the library weekly. We read books, play games, and do puzzled throughout the day - and when we aren't doing that - he watches cartoons while I regain my sanity.

It's impossible for me to fill 12 hours every day with stimulating activity, and I don't think cartoons are bad as long as your child is getting enough human interaction as well. And, I am downright amazed at the knowledge he has gained from cartoons.

So I have known this girl pretty much her whole life, we were really good friends in High School but was put in the friend zone. I went to college and we didn't get to be around each other much. I am now close to her to where I want to let her know that I still have strong feelings for her and they never really changed, but I am almost certain that if I do tell her I will be shot down immediately. Wanted to see what everyone thought and if there was good way of telling her my feelings?

I really like a girl I have known most of my life and want to tell her and not sure how to tell her, and will probably be shot down when I do it.

A little back story. I broke up with my ex over a year ago because she cheated on me. I was really heart broken. I didn't want to have contact with her but would run into her from time to time at the gym and I felt anger towards her every time I saw her. After she would see me sometimes she would text me asking me how I was doing. Because of that I couldn't fully forgive her for what she had done to me. So I blocked her on everything iPhone, Facebook and any other form of communication I could think of. I've dated since her and been happy. A few months ago I was at the gym working out and ended up partnering up with the guy she dated after me. I had no clue who he was until he told me. It turns out that she cheated on him too and they broke up. For some reason knowing this made me feel better. I guess that it helped me realize that it was not me and that she was the one that had the issue. Because of that I have felt that I have had closure with what happened. Now with that said. This past week while on a run I realized that I was over her and no longer had any hate towards her. It’s been several months and I haven't thought of her often but she does pop up in my head from time to time. So the reason for this long writing is I was thinking of unblocking her and maybe later send her a text to see how she’s doing. It has been over a year since we have talked and besides her cheating on me she was a good person. I don't think I would want to be friends with her but she was a big part of my life for a time. So Reddit I ask you what you think?

Broke up with cheating ex over a year ago. Blocked her from contacting me. Forgave her for several months now. Thinking about unblocking her and maybe sending a text later to see how she’s doing.

Some back story: we dated briefly back 2010 (2011..?), I stopped talking to him because I could tell he wasn't over his ex. So, about a month and a half ago, we had started talking again via social media and almost immediately hung out. We hit it off immediately (sidenote: we're both VERY quiet people, this leads to us being quiet together..is this bad? We're not used to each other enough for that). We get together a few more times after that, and I asked him out on a date. After the date (two weeks ago) we kept talking and randomly getting together. A friend of mine had mentioned to me that she was talking to some of his friends, he isn't looking for a girlfriend. I didn't mind this so much, but what bothered me was that if it was true, he wasn't honest to me. Earlier I got high (oops), just as he asked me why I get so nervous when we hang out (I am a very nervous and paranoid person). I unloaded on him. I said that I am afraid of getting hurt, because I know he isn't exactly serious about me. He said that he likes me but wants to take things slow. He doesn't want a girlfriend RIGHT NOW but likes me. I feel the exact same way, I understand where he's coming from. I can tell there's a difference, though. I don't know what. The reason I posted is because while I am not looking for a relationship RIGHT NOW, I know that if I continue talking to this guy, at some point I will want something serious, and he may not be at that point. Should I just pack it all up while I still can, or give it a go?

I like boy, boy likes me, but I like boy increasingly more while knowing boy determines whether or not to be in a relationship with me.

A big question in this is whether you were the one broken up with, or you were the one breaking up with the other person. Even then, it depends on your character type. For myself, it's much harder to break up with someone than it is to be broken up with, because I'm the one who can still influence the outcome. Everyone I've ever dated I still care about. They're all wonderful women... that's why I dated them in the first place. For one reason or another, things went sideways. I've never had a relationship get to a point where we despised each other, but rather where I recognize that it has reached its end. When I've been the one breaking up with them, I find it incredibly difficult to knowingly and willingly hurt someone that I still care about: to know that she still wants to work on things, but my heart just isn't in it anymore. That's the hardest part for me, because then I know that every day, someone that I cared for deeply is hurt by my decision, and that there's something I could do about it. It's a struggle of knowing what I want for myself, and wishing that they still fit in that picture. Being broken up with is somehow a lot easier for me to deal with. The option to try again is removed from me, because I wasn't the one who broke it in the first place, and that is reassuring in some bizarre way. My mental process starts with "At least there's nothing I can do about it" and then moves on to finding ways to heal myself. When I break up with them, I constantly come back to the knowledge that she is hurt, and I am the reason, and that drains the hell out of me.

If I break up with them - from 3 months to 3 years depending on the relationship If they break up with me - about 2 weeks.

I've been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years, all of which have been very nice and an overall happy relationship. Within the past 2 years however, I have been struggling with my internal gender identity, before realizing that transitioning to something more inline with that of a male body and gender expression would make me very, very happy, and most likely help with most of my depression. However, when testing the waters, he's expressed that he would not be okay with dating someone trans, (mtf wise), which leads me to believe that he is very heterosexual. He loves his girlfriend, (me), and every part of me that makes me a girl, which at the same time, is hurting me because I know those very same things are killing me inside. I know I love him, and that he loves me, but I know that if I were to transition we would no longer be together, most likely. (That end bit is just me hoping that he can over look this, but I know I can't force his orientation to change.) I'm been internally struggling with how to tell him without hurting him, or at the very least, hurting him the least I can. Any ideas on how to tell him of this news would be very very helpful. I don't want to hurt him at all, but I also know that we can't stay together if I attempt to make changes to my life and body.

I have realized that I am trans, (ftm) and I have no idea how to tell my boyfriend in a way that will hurt him the least.

Been together about two years now. Living together, whole shebang. Relationship is great. Just looking for other people's opinions, as I'm just... flabbergasted. My bf is a huge punk, with a very novel past and "It's a long story"s. He went through a lot before me, and then we went through a lot of emotional crap together as well. When I proposed to him (twice now, at different times) I'd give him lines like "You are a huge part of my life so I want to let you know that." with my gifts. Eventually (some time later) after my gifts, he would 1up me. First, he gave me an old (murdered) friend's bandana. This was like, his old best friend's super lifeblood. I appreciated the gift, I know what it means. He gave a piece of his life to me. I think I cried. But I don't know what to do with it . I don't feel comfortable wearing it because I'm nothing like that friend and what if I "promoted" them wrong? I can't think of a better example, but I feel like if I wear this, I'd be wearing a nazi uniform but do nothing but support PETA or something else ridiculously outrageous. I just don't want to "sour" the "image" I guess. Next, just today after a huge rough patch regarding engagement plans, he gave me his vest. He makes all his own clothes, like any "real" punk he has his own leather jacket he made himself. He's got hand-sewn pants and everything too. The vest just goes with it, so it's not like if he gave me his jacket(which would probably be like "here's my soul and my entire life") . But the vest goes under the jacket, and he gave me the same line. "You've made such a huge impression on my life, I wanted to give you something that has been a huge part of my life." I'm not a punk, I don't know anything about any of the bands on his vest, or the colors, or the slogans. He makes fun of imitation "punks" who don't make their own clothes and who wear band patches of bands they don't listen to or have never heard of. I love what the gift means . But I have no idea what to do with it. I don't want to misrepresent him, or get beaten up because I'm an "imitation punk". I don't know wtf to do. I really get what this means to him. And the gift means a lot to me. But I'm just afraid of doing the wrong thing with it, you know? Can someone please help me understand??

bf gives me hugely sentimental gifts from his former punk life. I don't know what to do with them or how I should show I appreciate them. Help. Edit: [For pictoral aid](

I'm a sophomore in college. So I met this guy (who goes to the same school) on tinder, we met up, everything was great. I thought we really clicked and we had a few dates. On the last date we made out. He is really attractive, smart, independent, mature and confident. He has all his life together and he knows what he wants for the future. I like him a lot. But he said he didn't want anything serious because he has trust issues, he has a lot of commitments like school, internships. He has never had any serious relationships before because he just doesn't trust anyone. Also he believes that we are too young for relationships. However, as a guy, he admits that he has the desire to be with girls (not just sexually), but at the same time he doesn't want any commitments. So he told me he is just looking for a friend with benefits. I like him and I have feelings for him. I want more than a sexual relationship. However, if I say no, I may lose him. I asked him how many friends with benefits is he planning to have, he said he only has time for one. So basically just me and him having a sexual relationship without commitment. I don't know what to do. Would he develop feelings for me and even date me if we spend more time together as FWB? He said he had trust issues, then would be trust me if I stay with him long enough, as FWB first? Or should I just say no and then we go on separate ways?

I like a guy who isn't into something serious and only wants to be FWB. Would he date me if I become his FWB long enough so he has feelings for me?

I hate this 'league' mentality. What defines a 'league' and what causes people to put themselves into a dating caste that they feel they should adhere to? Everyone has something to offer in a relationship. For some they bring looks/physical attraction. For others its chemistry. Others hobbies/sense of inclusion. I could go on and on. Likewise, everyone has flaws that make them undesirable to date. These could be a bad personality in general, bad hygiene, 'douchiness' for lack of a better term, etc. So, what makes one person "out of someone elses 'league'"?

I used to think every girl I ever dated was out of my league, and then once we were dating I saw their flaws. Likewise, they saw that I wasn't all that I was cracked up to be.

So, Her and I have know each other for a little over a year through a mutual group of friends. Within the past couple months, her and I started talking and hanging out often. Our relationship has turned sexually active, and even though it has not been spoken, we are exclusive. We both see eye to eye on most everything, and share the same feelings toward each other. As of now, we both live in the DC area, and can see each other often. This will be changing within a month or so. She will be leaving for medical school at the end of April. In Chicago. I have been single for a very long time, (almost 8 years) and yes enjoying it. I am really into her and her choices in life. She makes me feel important, and without saying anything. Makes me strive to be a better person. She took a work trip to China 2 weeks ago, and on her plane ride there, she wrote a 2 page description of me. What she likes. It made me cry, and laugh. It was the most adorable thing I had ever read. She tells me I do not give myself enough credit, and she wants to fill that void. I don't know if she is the "one", but is certainly someone I am very proud of. and trust. I could see myself with her for a very long time. We chose not to put a title on our relationship due to her leaving soon. She told me that while she is gone, I am free to do whatever I want as long as I don't tell her. As tempting as that sounds, I feel I cannot do that. I feel she is too important to hurt. Even if she was never told. So, how do I handle this? utilize facetime, and talk as often as possible? Make trips as often as possible? Or let her go, and see what the future holds? It's going to be very difficult, and I am so lost on what to do. She is an amazing person inside and out.

My newish S/O is leaving for med school in a month, quite far away, and I want this relationship to last a very long time. Not sure how to handle her leaving, and how to ensure our future. What do I do?

So here is the story: After a pretty harsh break up, I turned to online dating, and he was the very first person I met up with IRL. Our first date was at a restuarant on the water, we shared a bottle of wine and appies while sharing our lives. I felt very comfortable with him right away, and the fact he is really good looking is a bonus. We went on two more dates; The second we went for weird food like sea urchin because we were both really into trying new things and stepping outside the comfort zone box. We ended up at a bar, had some drinks, talked more about where we were going, and made out. The third date was a day before his birthday; I bought him a book by our mutual favorite author and we went out for Indian food. After dinner, he took me up to this secret spot that looked out over the entirety of the city at night. It was gorgeous. We stood there, with his arm around me, and I wanted to be with him. he drove me home ( which is WAY out of the way,) and we made out in the car for a while. We were never sexually intimate with each other- we only ever made out. fast forward a few days when I get a phone number from another guy. I didn't know how to react because I wasn't sure if I was in a relationship or not. So I made the phone call to online guy, and awkwardly asked what we were. (And this is were my stomach dropped like when you are on one of those intense rides at the fair) He said he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was crushed, but still left it open to sex. He said he wasn't ready for that either. Since then, I've gone on dates with other guys, but none compare to this guy. Online guy and I talk on a very regular basis about everything. We are so open with each other and talk on the phone into the late hours of the night. We still go to the bar together and hang out, but just " as friends" We are now going on 4 months as "best friends" He knows how I feel about him; I know how he feels about me. Right now I feel like I am in this emotional intimate relationship with him because we have shared a lot of very personal things with each other. I really want us to be more, and am willing to wait, but I need some advice from the guys here: is he into me with his constant calling/texting/ need for communication everyday and how easily him and I share deep personal parts of our lives? Is he just not ready for the commitment? should I pursue this?

got friend zoned by a guy, but now his actions make me feel like I'm in an half a relationship- only the emotional part. Do I pursue this or do I move on?

So I've started a kind of FWB situation with my close friend of 3 years. Prior to sleeping together he was very openly affectionate and said he loved me, but didn't pursue anything sexual until recently. We both have some baggage from shitty relationships so I think we were both happy just being friends. So one night he confesses he's been fantasizing about me vividly and frequently, to which I reply 'I don't know man...relationships and uuugh' and he says 'Oh don't worry. One of my things was that this doesn't boil over into a relationship since I find dating friends doesn't work out.' (those are pretty much direct quotes btw lol). Apparently his last girlfriend was a soul sucker that started out as a very cool friend and has taken him a few years to get over. Which was all fine and dandy. Fast forward a few weeks and we are now sleeping together. Now mind you, I've never had a FWB situation before, but I imagine it generally doesn't involve lots of cuddling and hand holding and taking walks/excessive hangouts etc. - all of which we have been doing. One night he even subtly asked me if I ever wanted kids. Neither of us do but I wonder of what his intentions are in asking. So anyways - the issue I am having is that I thought I'd be cool with having a FWB situation but I realize I have fallen for him pretty hard. Like raging hormones teenager hard which surprises even me. I also realize we have just started sleeping together like a few weeks ago so I don't wanna scare him off or anything just yet. I honestly don't know if he would go for an actual relationship as he is a very affectionate/loving guy- for example he regularly tells his close friends how much he loves them. So I don't know if all the cuddling and stuff is just a part of a normal FWB thing for him. Last night at the new years eve party at his place he was sitting closely/almost cuddling his neighbor. I was surprised to find I was not really cool with that. My last relationship ended up being 4 years of an uncommitted open relationship where I didn't have the balls to cut it off. I don't want to make the same mistake, but I also don't want to be too hasty with this. One thought I'm having is wait a few months to see if my hormones subside and get a better feel for what he wants. Any advice/input is very welcome! Thanks for reading.

Starting a 'FWB' relationship with a close friend and realize I want to have a real relationship with him but don't want to scare him off by acting too quickly. Also a little unclear on what a FWB is exactly.

I was driving around at night, people would call me and ask for a ride home from parties or whatever. I got a call from a friend of mine, asking if I could pick up her cousin from a party. When I got there, she and her boyfriend stepped into my car, and the girl sat in the front passenger seat, while the boyfriend sat in the back seat. They where both really skinny, looked like they abused the fuck out of a couple of drugs. She was really ugly, had disgusting hair and a horrible cigarette breath. About halfway to our destination, she started to rub my thigh, and when I stopped her, she asked me why, and I said :"I have a girlfriend, and I'm not comfortable with you doing that, stop." And she kept going, saying: "I know you like it, and your girlfriend isn't here, is she?" She got mad when I moved her hand, and her boyfriend got equally mad at me for "stealing his girl".. She was 36.. I was 18.

Gave some people a ride home, a disgusting woman twice my age rubbed my thigh and got mad when I stopped her, and then kept going

I'm 29M, and my girlfriend is a 25F. We've been dating a year. We live about 45 minutes apart in an urban area, don't see each other during the week generally, but alternate weekends at each others' homes. She lives with a male and female roommate, who are both slightly younger than her. The male roommate (we'll call him "M") moved in about half a year ago and was away frequently in the beginning. But lately he has been hanging out at home a lot. My girlfriend hangs out with both roommates frequently. Sometimes they will all be together drinking and watching TV or whatever, but oftentimes it is just her and M. I didn't see her this weekend because of work, and she told me that she and M spent three hours last night watching a marathon of one of her TV shows. Thereby triggering this post. My relationship with my girlfriend is great. I am deeply in love with her, and she seems very happy with me as well. She hasn't been distant with me, and we often talk of our future together. (FYI - we have talked about moving in together this summer or fall, but I have a temporary job that is ending this spring and I want to know where my next job will be and what my income level will be before we make concrete plans.) Anyway, I am starting to get a bad feeling about my girlfriend and M. I think he likes her as more than a friend, and I know she likes him as a close friend. I don't believe she would ever cheat on me with him, but they are compatible partners; my fear is that she may fall for him without cheating and then leave me. This fear is compounded by jealousy that he gets to see her almost every day and I only get to see her two nights a week. My instinct is to talk about this with her and tell her how I feel, in a non-threatening way. However, I am afraid it will appear weak and insecure which is unattractive. I am also unsatisfied with the probable resolution of her simply reassuring me, but nothing ultimately changing. I would never dream of asking her to see less of a friend or kicking a roommate out. Deep down I also feel like if she preferred him to me I would expect her to leave me and be happier. Though this would make me unbelievably sad as I love her more than you can imagine and see myself marrying her one day. Do I suppress my weak feelings of jealousy/anxiety, talk to her about them, or do some third options that I haven't thought of yet? Any advice or inklings about what's going on or what the future might hold?

Girlfriend's male roommate spends more time with her than she can spend with me, and it makes me jealous and anxious about losing her to him; curious what Reddit has to say about it. Edit: Added solicitation for advice at the end.

My friend, let's call him Greg, has been there for me throughout the years. When I was in my early 20's he let me live with him rent free while he and I worked together on a business idea I had come up with. I was close with the whole family, and welcomed into his home to allow me to manage expenses while I built the business. He was doing quite well at the time and I was a pretty cheap housemate. A few years ago, Greg changed directions in life, opening a new business in a different state--I had long since moved out, but stayed in touch and even travelled to the grand opening of this new business. The new business limped along for a few years, but ultimately shuttered. Greg is now moving back to the state/town where we had at one time lived together. I have since relocated clear across the country. I received a text from Greg yesterday telling me that his credit is shot, and he would like for me to cosign a lease for him. In light of the 2+ years I lived with him rent-free, and the large amounts of personal and moral support he and his family (all grown and moved out now) provided, I feel guilty as hell for not wanting to do this for him. I responded and said (and this is absolutely the truth) that my credit wasn't so hot either right now, and I didn't think I was in a position to. He texted me back saying "well can we try and see?" To which I didn't respond (it was late, just saw it this morning). He also texted me this morning saying "should I interpret your silence as a 'no'?" Need advice and also some suggestions on responding in a way that doesn't engender bad will or hurt feelings but also communicates that I'm not comfortable with this. I've laid off on listing all of Greg's poor life choices, but there are certainly a long list of personal and financial missteps that make me too nervous to guarantee a lease. His life (personal and professional) has been incredibly high-drama since I met him--a revolving series of crises and poor choices culminating in the current shitshow he's in the middle of. I've always been supportive and "there" for him--I've even used my professional skills on his behalf to help with his business (trying to "repay" some of the kindness he showed me), but I draw the line at putting my personal finances at risk. I have a new family, and lack the disposable income to cover a lease should he default.

Friend who's done a lot for me needs me to do a lot for him. Not comfortable with it, need help saying no in a nice way

My title may be a bit misleading, because what I really mean is what is wrong with people being with more than one person emotionally and sexually under the law? Are we not infringing upon people's rights to choose if they cannot all get married together if they want? I think that to deny many people to marry together is the same as to deny gays to marry, unless there is something I am missing. I say the title is misleading because Polygamy has certain connotations, like a patriarchal society where women are objects for a man to collect, or that it is only one man and many woman, never one woman and many men, or that it cannot be multiple men and women (which I have never heard of, but hey, some people might want that, right?). I understand those connotations may be part of the definition, but for lack of a better word in this case I shall say Polygamy and mean simply more than two people married together. The question remains the same though, what does everyone have against it if people choose to do it and are not forced? I also think that this is a question about what is socially wrong with it, how it affects others negatively, not the practicality of having many people married together, that is a polygamists job to worry about.

what is the negative impact to society/others if multiple people wish to marry each other? For arguments sake, define Polygamy as more than two people in a marriage, nothing more or less.

Resisting the urge to kill my best freind after he fucked my girlfreind. Told him to meet me at the park between our houses when i found out,had a knife in my pocket,teary eyes,and was seeing red. He shows up and says how sorry he is and that if i wanted to fight him he wouldnt resist, i paused and walked closer then rushed him and pinned him to the ground-knife in hand at his throat. Then he kinda just said "im so sorry" and lay his head back with tears starting to form. I pushed the knife in harder but not enough to cut and then caught his eye-i havent seen anything more sincere than the guilt and regret i saw in his eyes that day. I stopped, got up and walked over to the bench then dropped the knife and sat down and cried. He got up and we talked over the entire thing like men, shook hands after a few hours and put it behind us. We arent best freinds anymore, but we are brothers in every way except blood. I would give my life for him and he for i.

best freind fucked my girlfreind and i was at his throat with a knife and fought off the urge to kill him. And now we are bros.

I started working at this great dental research place I was originally going to apply to dental school this year, but because of my personal anxiety, depression and stressors over the past few years, I did not want to apply and take a year off after this school year. I opted not to and missed the deadline. In early December, I started thinking about maybe if I should do at least something for a year, so I contacted my supervisor/employer about an Masters supervision. They agreed. However, in late December, and mid January, my anxiety/depression got worse and worse and worse. I made the decision before returning to school I would not be applying to any MScs and will be taking a full year off. I spoke to my supervisor again, and I know they did not mean to, but from their tone, I felt guilt tripped not applying. I did not want to disclose that I was not applying because of my mental health condition, and felt I would be judged a bit given they are university affiliated faculty. I care deeply about my supervisors, mentors and fellow colleagues. At the time I thought there was the expectation of me doing the MSc, and I knew I did not want to. Thus, I fabricated a lie that I had interviews to MSc programs and Dental school so that I gave them a strong indication I will not be doing the MSc with them. During the entire process, I encouraged them if they wanted to find someone else who was fully committed, to do so. I knew they were looking for students in the summer and my employment was not guaranteed. However, I told them, hey I may not be doing this for when September (the supposed MSc starts) so if you want to hire someone else for the summer who will be continuing in September, go ahead. I really value my colleagues and mentors. I just was not comfortable disclosing that I was taking a year off to discuss my mental health as a reason.

Did not want to do an Masters with my supervisor because of mental health. Lied about other offers and interviews with professional programs (even though I did not apply) so they had strong indication I would not be doing the MSc.

So this guy started working at my place of employment about 4 months ago. He always seemed a little off when I interacted with him. I can't really describe it, except as maybe grossly self confident, as if he believes all the choices he's made in his life are truly the correct ones and everyone else is wrong. I recently went to lunch with the people in my department, and because he has been long time friends with my department manager, he came along too. This is the first time I've seen him in a setting outside of work. Turns out he is incredibly misogynistic. He had never been married and doesn't have any kids, and the way he talks about women is disgusting. Multiple times he joked about banging underage hookers. A couple times, a woman would walk by our table on her way out of the restaurant and he would make a comment about her ass, while she was still in ear shot. Today we all went out to lunch, and he started making comments about the story of the trans woman in the woman's locker room at planet fitness. He was the classic bigot. Called the trans woman a degenerate, and when I confronted him with facts about sexuality not being a choice, he disregarded me and played it off as "young liberal ignorance". So after that I called him a horrible person to his face in front of the table. Probably a bad choice on my part, but he was being so enragingly bigoted. Another coworker tried to defuse the situation by saying let's just agree to disagree. In the end, we moved on, but NOBODY stuck up for me or the LGBT community. And not that it's really relevant, but he's also the kind of gun nut that will brag about having over 50 guns, and when asked what is his favorite gun, he says he loves them all the same. So I have to work closely with this guy on a daily basis. And the most shocking part might be that I live and work in a very liberal north eastern state, and he also doesn't hold religious beliefs.. He doesn't even have religion to blame for being a misogynistic asshole. Anyone else have any confrontations like this at work? How did your relationship(s) change with your coworker(s)?

Coworker reveals that he is a misogynistic asshole bigot, called him out on it and got no support from other coworkers. How should I move forward with working with him?

I ran away from home when I was 14. It was a terrible time for me. My best friend had just died, I had a terrible environment at home, I'd been kicked out of school, I was just fucked and wanted to leave. I'll add I'm a girl. This may not seem important, and I didn't think it was at the time, but I would learn later in life it was. See I was just drifting the country, sleeping on the street or finding random groups of gutter punks and staying with them. I would panhandle during the day until I had enough money for a bus ticket or whatever then GTFO Well one night I was sleeping in a greyhound station. This old black dude came up to me, a drifter it was obvious. I remember he had this big old army coat and looked to be in his 40s and had this crazy grin. He started to ask me who I was, what I was doin, etc. I usually ignored people but for some reason was lonely and started to talk to him. I told him I was out on the streets and couldn't go home, etc. He kind of laughed a little and we talked, he really seemed interested in my life. Finally he got really serious and said... "listen girl.. what's outside this city? That's right a bunch of fuckin forrest. You know how easy it would be for someone to rape you and drop your body in the woods? No body would ever fuckin know you were gone. No one would ever fuckin find you..." He looked really sad when he told me this and shook his head and was just like "shit... you ain't gonna listen to me, I know that. You gonna keep on fuckin around on the streets... " I dunno, there was something about the way he said it, like he was genuinely sorry that I was in danger, and he felt his words had no meaning to me. It was the first time I'd felt anybody really gave a shit weather I lived or died. More than that, my 14 year old invincible self had just never really thought about it. Everything in my mind was in terms of the city. I thought about getting shot or stabbed or raped in an alleyway, but this concept of being murdered and my body dumped in the woods... it had just... it just woke me up inside. He walked out of the greyhound station into the street that night, and never realized I took all my money and headed home that same night. Today I'm in grad school and have an amazing future. Man changed my fucking life. I don't know if he's dead or alive, but I always wished I could help that man off the street. I try and pay it forward.

a drifter knocked some sense into me with one conversation and ended up changing the course of my life. Never underestimate the impact your words can have on somebody, especially a dumbshit teenager who you think won't listen. Sometimes they do

Nice! Mine involves taking something as well, but it didn't work out too well. My high school had this very large bolder that stood about four feet tall and about five feet in diameter sitting on the front lawn at the entrance to the school. It was tradition that at the end of every year the graduating class paint it with their class year and whatever they wanted. My junior year several of us decided to mess with the tradition by stealing the boulder. As it turns out, it isn't so easy to steal a huge boulder. We tried using a system where we put a ramp going into one truck then used a second truck to push the boulder up the ramp. We got it about 35% up the ramp when the ramp snapped under the weight and the boulder rolled off the side. The guy whose truck we were pushing it into freaked out and didn't want his truck damaged so he floored it and pulled forward. The boulder rolled down this small hill, off the curb and right into the center of the driveway that leads to the school. The next morning the staff show up to work and the driveway is blocked by the boulder and we also managed to do some serious damage to the lawn. They assumed putting the boulder in the driveway was the prank and were not happy. They had to pay several hundred dollars to have the lawn repaired and have the boulder put back in place not to mention the headache it caused because no cars or buses could get around it to part in the school We knew if they ever found out who it was that we would be in some serious trouble. They did a pretty heavy duty investigation and questioned a lot of kids, but luckily nobody involved told and we got away with it. The best part of the whole thing was at the end of the next year someone moved the rock back out into the driveway. We accidentally started a new end of school year tradition. A few years later the school was so annoyed by this new tradition that they had the boulder moved to the football field area so it was no longer next to the school.

we tried to steal a huge boulder from in front of the school and accidentally ended up blocking a road and starting a new, very annoying, tradition.

Like most, this is a throwaway account and this FU didn't happen today. (Also to eliminate any confusion, I am a gay guy sexting another gay guy.) Two weeks ago, my friend introduced me to a good friend of hers, who is also gay. We first texted on Monday, and texted pretty much non-stop until Friday. On Friday night, I was turning up the heat and began to flirt heavily (thanks to my friend Mary Jane). I started off sending him a shirtless picture of me... and you know how that goes. So have sent about 6-8 pictures back and forth over snapchat, and we are texting during it making comments about each other. Well, it's my turn and I take a pretty nice picture and send it, then return to texting him. About 5 minutes pass and he still hasn't sent me a picture back. So I open snapchat to see if I simply missed the notification, only to realize it shows that I am the one who hasn't replied. So I take a new picture and caption "oops, i thought I responded". Although, I am thinking back to taking the original and why it didn't send, and then I remember that I do have a habit of accidentally pressing the "add to story" button rather than sending it to a person. So I go to my story, only to be mortified that I did in fact post my spam javelin on my snapchat story for all to see. But wait there's more! Not only did I post it for all to see, but 7 people did in fact see it! I was far too mortified to see who did, and quite frankly more focused on deleting it before more eyes were burned within their sockets. So take this as a lesson to all who sext on snapchat, be very weary of the "post to story" button!

Accidentally posted my yogurt slinger on my snapchat story for 5 minutes and 7 people saw it. Also, please excuse any formatting issues or typos, I am on mobile.

link to first post : Okay so school started and it was the first week so i was walking outside with my buddies talking and then i see my ex with the boy she cheated with me on i burst into tears the whole day i was crying and then i saw them hug before they got on the bus. she called me that night i thought everything was gonna work and i was happy so i went out and bought full of her favorite things so the next day everything was alright smiles all around but then i asked to be together at lunch and she said she didn't want me so i cried she came to see me to say that she was over me and put me more in the ground and then left when i was crying . She then sat with me on the bus i made her smile and laugh i thought everything was gonna be good so she calls me that night we had a few tears and i cheered her up so then we said bye and the next morning she texts me and she says she wants to be with the other guy not me and she shouldn't have talked to me or anything. Now i cannot get her out of my head and i am severely depressed and i just keep crying i want her back so bad and i love her i need help i should have listened to you guys on the last post but i am naive young and stupid so can you guys please give me some support i am lost

Ex came back to me just to lead me on and then tells me she wants to be with the guy she cheated on me with Edit:Spacing

Hi, So, I have a girlfriend [22f] that I have been with for the better part of 4 years and I know that she is the one. She shares my loving for gaming and she shares my interest in movies; basically, we have a lot in common! When I was 4 years old, I was diagnosed with brain cancer and because of it, I didn't really have a childhood because of treatments and complications. I missed out on a lot of things, like prom, hanging out with friends at parties; just simple things like that. One thing I also missed out on is dating. I did have one ex-girlfriend before this one, but it was long distance and so we barely saw each other (7 times in 3 months, the length of the relationship) I now live with the girl in question [22f] and we have been having a lot of issues; we knit-pick at each others flaws and such, but no matter what, we come out laughing and loving each other. But recently, I've been watching some friends going out with girls and dating, basically having fun. Now I find myself sort of wanting to experience that aspect of life, yet I don't want to lose my now girlfriend because I love her a lot, but I know if I don't at least experience a bit of dating, I'd regret for the rest of my life. I have talked to her about it, and she seems understanding but girls are known to be quite confusing, and I'm not sure if this is a "test" to see how I would react on my urges or not. I'm really confused and could really use some advice!

I have had cancer since I was 4, which screwed my childhood and teenage years up for the most part. I now have a gf of 4 years that I love, but I want to experience dating, something I missed out on, help?

Basically, if you've been dating someone for a while, is it ever okay to get the urge to talk to someone else? Or flirt? Like just have a moment where you miss that 'someone new' rush? As long as you don't do anything about it, of course. I don't have much experience with this kind of thing and I'm not sure how to feel.

Do you ever wanna talk to someone new if you've been in a relationship for a while? EDIT: because apparently I have to add this, I'm not looking for anyone new to talk to, but thanks. eyeroll emoji

My SO and I had gone into our towns train station to get out some money from the cash machine. We get to the machine and my SO is taking out some money when a black lab comes up behind him and sniffs his trousers (before I go on I'll explain that he was wearing pretty punkish clothes - trousers made out of beer towels, black studded leather jacket etc etc) my SO liking dogs turns round with out thinking and pets the dog on the head. At this point probably about 5 plain clothed transport police come up to him, read him his rights and ask him to follow them to the transport police booth.. he goes. As we get there another guy comes out of the booth (also dressed in punky clothing) and says "punk and disorderly!" at my SO (lol). Anyway, he goes in, get searched and they find nothing (he doesn't do drugs anyway) and they send him away. I think he was picked because of his clothes tbh.

my SO got searched in a train station while wearing punky clothing, no drugs on him. Think he was searched because of what he was wearing.

So, I've been dating my boyfriend (let's call him "Fred") for about two and a half years. Things have been great. We rarely argue, and seem to have a good time together most of the time. I think we complement eachother's personalities well- he's more laid-back, I'm a little more intense. We have a lot of friends in common. Currently we live in different apartments in the same city and see eachother 2-4 times a week. The thing is, for the past 3 months or so, I've really begun to question the relationship. I have no desire to ever move in together, even in the far-off future, (I just don't think we're compatible enough to spend that much time together), and the idea of getting engaged/ married is far-fetched. I just don't really know what to do. Nothing is "wrong" with our relationship per se- he's sweet and loving- but I already feel like it's pointless to continue, as I have no desire to take things to the next level in the future. This makes me feel guilty and uncaring. So, r/relationships, how do you advise I proceed? If I should break up, how is the best way to go about it? I know that hurt feelings and some drama is inevitable, but I want to minimize any pain that I cause. I really do love him and want him to be able to move on.

Think I want to break up with my long term boyfriend of 2.5 years as I don't see a long-term future. How do I go about this in the best way?

My family adopted a new dog 3 days ago that keeps attacking every dog it gets close to. He's 6 years old and we have been told the main reason nobody adopted him was because he has some pretty nasty scars on his face from some chemical problem that wasn't treated when he was young. Before adopting him we knew he had problems with cats, but we had seen him with dogs at an adoption event and he had always lived with dogs as far as we knew and none of his fosters had any complaints. The only warning we had was the day before we picked him up he had a fight at a dog park which we were hoping was mostly because he was on a leash while two other leash-less dogs ran up to him. Now after calling back again apparently when he was in dog daycare he wasn't allowed around other dogs due to aggressiveness and his last owners mentioned he was getting more aggressive around their two dogs as time went on. We've only let him get close to 2 dogs so far (for obvious reasons). Both times were on a walk earlier today. The first was a neighbors dog we were taking with us that we have taken on a huge amount of walks before. We let them get close to each other but after sniffing for a couple of seconds our dog snarls and lunges at the other dog (which luckily is super mellow and just ran away). After sort of keeping them separate on the walk and slowly letting them get used to each other it seems like our dog started tolerating our neighbors dog, and it even seemed like he wanted to play a couple of times (but our neighbors dog is a little scared of him now). The second dog was one we were just passing on a sidewalk. After a quick sniff our dog lunged and got a lock on the other dogs ear. I kind of choked him until he let go. There wasn't any blood and the other dog (which seemed really playful) looked ok. Luckily the other owner was nice and understanding about it. When he first sees a dog his ears perk up, he gets kind of stiff and starts pulling toward them. It kind of seems like he wants to play but apparently not as much as he wants to be the boss. And he's great around people other than maybe getting a little too exited at first. He mostly just lays around you while you do whatever you want and he loves attention. So does anyone have any ideas on how to get him used to being around other dogs or is it just a better idea to keep him isolated? We're planning to take him to a trainer on Monday.

New dog attacks other dogs when first meeting them without any provocation. I don't THINK he's actually trying to hurt them, but he definitely wants to be the boss.

Hey there, I've noticed this the other day and was hoping to get some advice on my situation from the fine people of reddit. I've always had a set group of friends and have only met new people through my friend group. Recently I've been making attempts at meeting new people on my own and putting myself out there a lot more. It's been going great. I've joined a rock climbing gym, regular gym, got a new part time job and started a new semester at school. I've also had a few people approach me on their own to start conversations, it's been great! Anyway, I've noticed when I'm in a conversation with someone if they aren't saying anything or the conversation ends/pauses, I feel that I have to fill the pause. Often times its with a new topic that makes no sense, or whatever comes into my head at the time. For example... I was speaking with someone at the rock climbing gym about rock climbing stories when the conversation ended and neither of us decided to climb more walls. I felt I had to fill the silence and did so by saying "When you think about it, Farmers are really just spawn camping cows" After an awkward "oh... that's cool" I sort of said "well gotta go thanks bye!"

I'm new to putting myself out there and meeting new people, now that I'm getting into conversations with people, I'm finding that I try too hard to fill in awkward silences and end up looking like a goof.

I was in the same boat as you. I dropped league because it stopped being fun. My friends and I decided we needed a change of pace and switched to Dota and had a lot more fun. The heroes are less cookie-cutter than in league, and you can get away with a lot more because of a much less restricting dev. You still get a few ragers every now and again, but a lot of people don't care enough or are just too foreign to explain their rage in a not-hilarious fashion. I think some of riot's recent changes were pretty much good though a lot were straight up retarded in terms of balancing (What the fuck tower change). They've made a lot of changes which made the game a lot more fun if you can get past the bad feelings your team will have for you. A lot of things work now that wouldn't before, mainly due to the support items (GP Support is godlike). If you don't like how you're playing, either play different or quit.

don't play to win or because you "have to", play for fun. Or quit and do something productive like cure cancer or whatever. That works too.

Hey reddit, I'll try to keep this short. Halp please :c When I go over to her house, her little brother (10 M) will latch on to her. If she tells him to back off, her mother (Lucy, 50s? F) will tell her to stop being mean to him. (I do play video games or card games with him on occasion, like every 3rd or 4th time that I go over and try to be a friend to him so it's not like I just ignore him but I don't go over there for him.) This makes me not want to go over. On top of that, as soon as it hits 7pm her mother makes passive aggressive comments every minute on the dot trying to get me to leave. Its her house, she doesn't want me there past 7? fine. I explained these reasons to my SO but she doesn't want to just go to my place or go out on dates and wants me to go to her place. If we do go out, it has to be on a weekend past 2pm and she has to be home before 8pm because according to Lucy that's what "respectable women" do. If we want to go out Saturday AND Sunday? Oh lord, who, who invented such blasphemy? That isn't allowed. If my SO doesn't listen to her mother's advice then she gets grounded? SO pays rent, I'm the youngest child so maybe I just don't understand since my parents gave me a lot more freedom but somebody help me understand. When my sister brought her boyfriend over if he played with me I was glad, if not? Well he wasn't a part of my day anyway so I continued on with what I was doing. How do I help her stand up to her mom? How do I get little brother to chill out?

FMIL keeps SO on the schedule of a 4th grader. SO's lil bro latches on for dear life when I go over. How do I help her stand up to her mom? How do I get little brother to chill out?