content
stringlengths
121
3.86k
summary
stringlengths
50
553
I am an American who works for an international non-profit in Peru. I have been in the country for three months, and I am planning on staying through July of next year. I love my job, I love working with children, and I am fully embracing the Peruvian culture. I had been talking with a girl whom I have known on-and-off for a few years, and she is currently living in the US. We have never had a sex, because she is someone who waits until she is in a commited relationship, which I appreciate, and I never had time with traveling and living in several different states. She is a wonderful, kind-hearted, and beautiful woman. I was talking with her when I jokingly asked when she was going to come see me in Peru. To my surprise, she booked a cheap ticket and said she would come in February. We made plans (including a non-refundable Machu Picchu Trip) and I thought all was well. While I have been here, I have started bonding with one of my female coworkers (also an american) and through our mutual experiences, we formed a close friendship. I find this new girl amazing, she has an incredible brain, and she challenges my views and inspires me to become a better person. We have talked for many, many hours about everything, and during one incredibly deep and passionate conversation, we kissed. I will be honest, I like the new girl more. And it is not a case of "lovestruck new passion," because this has progressed for several weeks. We have a much more profound bond than I ever shared with the first girl. I want to be with this new, amazing woman, but I have already made plans with the first girl. I guess I just need an outsiders perspective. I know that I will have to break the heart of one of these girls, and that pains me very much. I want this new girl to be a part of my life, and she has expressed the same desires. I know it is a sticky situation with being coworkers, but we work in a very progressive company and our mutual boss is very supportive. My plan now is to tell the first girl that I can no longer join her in Machu Picchu, and if she cancels her flight and unrefundable ticket, I will offer to pay her the entire sum that she has lost. This is the only way I can be fair to her (monetarily, at least). I've fucked up bad with two wonderful women, and I need some help and perspective.
I invited a girl to come see me in a Peru, and now I am falling for a new girl (and coworker) in the country with me.
I literally told my SO that it was my first kiss, I had no idea what I was doing, and that I was sorry for anything I did wrong. I asked if I should be kissing her now, and if not to please let me know before I made a total fool of myself. Then I compared my awkwardness to magikarp (complete with the noises) and then I kissed her. Felt great, she's now my girlfriend, and everytime I mention magikarp she smiles and says it reminds her of our first kiss. Honestly, just be yourself, and let her know that you will potentially suck at this. Chicks like that you're secure enough to know when you don't know everything. If this girl truly has a thing for you, you will end up just fine, even if you compare yourself to a semiretarded pokemon.
I called myself a magikarp, she thought it was adorable, now my SO. Calm down and realize that if she likes you, you'll be just fine no matter what awkward things you do, and if she doesn't it is one moment among many.
Salvia. How this is still legal and weed isn't i do not know. But the first (and to this day last) time i smoked it i went back to a childhood memory, and then all of a sudden everyone turned on me. I ran from my house to outside which was all of a sudden a cul-de-sac (it isn't normally), and they all were chasing me, then the movie reel this was all in came off and i was in a perpetual state of the three frames i was in. Once i finally realized it was a film reel, i climbed the black parts like a ladder and jumped out to be pushed down by god (who i later determined was my "sitter", my buddy who made sure i wasn't going to hurt someone or myself) and tried to fight him, when i finally came to it was very difficult to determine which reality was "the real reality" i was sweaty, hot and nauseous afterwards. That was my roughest and most vivid trip. Hope you enjoyed haha.
tried salvia (either 30x or 300x i am not 100% sure either way nor do i know what the numbers go to) and climbed a movie reel to god.
Yeah, that's true, there can be a huge range of quality between named meat meals also (or named meats). The opportunity for extreme variability is not higher in any other ingredient, though, than it is in by-products. By its very nature, by-products encompass a huge swathe of potential components that all have a different nutrition amount. If, in a completely hypothetical situation, "by-products" is 10% livers one batch and then 20% livers another, the vitamin A composition is remarkably different between the twwo. My dog does really well on whatever vitamin amount that's in the first batch but not so well for the second, and then I'm left wondering why the food he's eating is treating him differently when it's the "same" food. One of the most heavily-touted arguments against homemade food is that with dog food, your dog is getting nearly the same nutrients every meal and you know what nutrients those are and in what amounts. That argument breaks down in light of the extreme variability in by-products because it introduces similar variability in the final product. If the food isn't tested every batch (it's not) to determine how much nutrient isolates to add to make up for losses in cooking and for ingredient variability, then what's the point? Variability in "chicken" is how much skin to meat to bone, and that's not going to change as much by supplier per batch. You can be confident that if a food uses chicken carcasses as their chicken, it's going to be mostly bone, some meat, and less skin, and it's going to stay more-or-less that way over multiple batches.
my beef with by-products is that it's one more step away from me knowing what my animal is eating and potentially being less able to predict how he's going to respond to his diet.
Late, but fuck it. When I tell people now that I made the first move in my SO and I's relationship, they always seem surprised. But this thread has reminded me just how much of this weirdness I went through- being into guys who seemed completely oblivious (only to get weird about it years later and then the both of us sort of look at things and go, oh well, too late now) and being in excruciating pain for ages when people would know I had feelings for them and never had the balls to make it or break it to not 'ruin the friendship'. Or even worse, awkward too-long hugs and conversations where we'd theoretically talk about our feelings "if". I am so glad that I just made the move and laid one on my now boyfriend of four years because damn, he's not dense (he was trying to be polite)...but these feels are a reminder of that frustration.
This thread reminds me how glad I am that I was motivated by the fear that my (now) boyfriend didn't get I was into him and made the first move.
This happened a few years ago. I was in high school at the time and we were playing UF. I was going for a catch and was running forward with my head turned around. I was about to catch the Frisbee when I collided with a metal bench. My shin made impact with the 'seat' part of the bench, and I somersaulted over the back of the bench. I landed face first onto the rubber track, did a scorpion, and finally came to rest. Part of the skin on my leg tore off and stuck to the bench. The students gathered around noted the hairs. I didn't bother looking at it. I ended up needing 16 stitches, but the part that hurt the worst was my face. I got major road rash on my cheek. I can provide pics of my leg in the doctor's office. The scar is still pretty slick.
ran into a bench. Flesh removal, blood, and wild scorpions ensued. People judged me for being a gym class hero for the next two years.
It doesn't need to be expensive. The more you do it, the more you spend, but if you do it so much that you're spending a lot, then it's evolved into a passion rather than a mere hobby. And it's a passion worth spending for! I started 20+ years ago with a rigid bike, and the basics. I learned to ride from a book (the internet was still very new) and eventually met other bikers and started riding with them. They told me about front suspension- got a hardtail bike ($400 range) and started doing the black diamond sections of the trails. Bought a used CamelBak. Started going on bike trips and had to get more clothing for those. Switched to clipless pedals. Got interested in racing, upgraded yet again to a full-suspension ($3,000 or so), and have had that bike for 12 years or so, still going strong. Still have my hardtail, great for city commuting and durable enough for local trails. I have gotten more return-on-investment for every dollar spent on biking, than anything else. When I first started riding, I dropped the 40lbs I gained after high school, and have kept it off ever since. It's a tremendous workout that's FUN and gets you outside in beautiful scenery.
You spend in accordance with your passion. If it's a mere hobby, it can be cheap; if it becomes a passion, it pays back in spades.
I had to be put out to have pins put in my hand after breaking the right metacarpal into a 90 degree angle and dropping the knuckle down half inch and back an inch or so in a scrap with some giant bag of dicks who was coked up and angry because im a metalhead, when they put the IV in they asked me what my favourite drink was, my response was Mead, the doctor then said "well you have just been hit by 2 bottles of Mead, how do you feel" as he put the anaesthetic in, apparently he did not know what mead was, it is not exactly a strong drink at around 14%, i replied with "it will take more than that to put me out mate" right before passing out, when i came around later that night (morning surgery) apparently the doctor asked how i was feeling and i replied "that was some of the best mead i have ever had, if you dont get me some more i swear i will take my axe and send you to Valhalla" to which he replied "not today son, you have a nap and i will be back in the morning", when he returned the next day to let me go he came with a bottle of mead and said "Here, this is for you, the only goddamn viking i have ever had the pleasure to meet, but you cant drink it for a couple days so take it easy and get well soon", i hugged that man and left happy.
Got put under, told doctor i loved mead, came around, told same doctor i would take an axe and kill him if he did not give me more mead, doctor brought me a bottle of mead when he let me go. Legend.
Last summer I went camping with a few friends.We'd just started to walk back after visiting the campground's haunted trail/haunted house attraction (It was the night before Halloween,I think...) The haunted trail wasn't scary,so we were all laughing about it on the way back.After a while we reach a little part of the campground that is shaped sort of like a valley,flat on the bottom and high on the sides (with no campers or anyone nearby) Right there on the side of the road is this blue car,with its headlights on and trunk open.Fear set in that had been unused during the sucky haunted trail.There was no one in the car or anywhere near it as far as I could see.My friends and I stared at it,while I whispered "Okay,we're going to walk by this car normally,then run once we get past it for a while." (not that brilliant,I realize now.) So we walk past it then sprint till we get up the hill at the end of the road.The next day we were walking past that area,and it was gone....
My friends and I felt like we were going to be kidnapped the night before Halloween because we saw a car with its headlight on and trunk open,but no one was in it or near it.
but i've been reminiscing, and I'm sure we all understand this feeling. but its crazy how one moment you could be so close to someone, so absolutely connected, you could do or say anything in front of them, and it feels good, because you can, and they don't care. you know their deepest secrets, you know theirs, and just their mere presence alone can make you feel good. and then something happens, and its like a flick of a switch. its totally gone. it makes you wonder how that is even possible? its so fucking odd. and you can't reach out to them, and you don't know how they feel. you feel totally lost, but you can't do anything. you think of putting yourself out there, maybe ill call them, email them? why? just to hurt myself even more. you decide you have to forget them, to move on. to act as though they never existed. but is that the right thing to do. for what its worth you have the memories, you have the experiences, you probably learned something about yourself throughout it all. learned something about other people too. the worst is knowing that they'll probably find someone to replace you. someone else is going to be there for him or her, in your place, and thats so hard to realize.
i simply dont understand how you go from being each others everything, to simply strangers. do they still care, do they still think like this?
My fiance and I got a 3 month old Border Collie as our first dog together and his first dog EVER. We both had days where we couldn't believe we were stupid enough to have gotten such a high energy, intense dog. We felt like we had sentenced ourselves to 15 years of insanity. Now, she's a year old and we couldn't imagine life without her. She is a 30 pound bundle of love and happiness. For us, obedience classes made a huge difference. My fiance didn't quite know what to do with our dog at first. After class, he gained a huge amount of confidence and now he LOVES training her. Consider activities like flyball or agility, too. It's really satisfying to watch your pup having fun like that. Also, they're exhausted afterwards!
Yes, I think there is a major adjustment period and it's normal to have those "oh god, what did I do" feelings. It WILL get better and you're doing the right thing by starting classes. Best of luck! :)
I've been with my BF for 5 months. For my birthday he got me a watch that is not my style at all. In fact, it is a similar watch to the one he wears, which is the complete opposite of my taste. It is manly and doesn't really go with any of my clothing/jewelry. Although I know he meant well, it feels as if he was shopping for himself, and not me. He's seen the clothes and jewelry I wear, so I wonder if he wasn't paying attention or just put it out of his mind to get me something that he thinks I should wear. I told him that I liked it and that it was very thoughtful, but I'm feeling anxious over the fact that it will probably sit in my jewelry box, unused. I'd much rather he use the money on something else. I'm worried that if I don't wear it, I'll come off as unappreciative. I don't mean to come off as whiny or selfish, but it's just kind of confusing to me. Do I eventually bring this up? If he asks, do I tell the truth? Help.
Boyfriend got me gift that is unlike me. I'm feeling guilty over the lack of use it'll get. I'm worried that I will come off as unappreciative.
Ill try to make this as short as possible. So I found a 85' Mustang L for $800 on craigslist. The car is rather nice, It's just the brakes and tires that need to be replaced, and possible the tailpipe. The Interior is gorgeous, and the exterior isnt terrible either. The car is old, so it's bound the leak. The guy I'm purchasing from, I feel, is very trustworthy. We've been talking for about 2 weeks and I finally went to go test drive and see the car yesterday. It hasnt been smog tested in a year, and the guy said he would go do it for me. So he gets it tested, the car doesnt pass, and the mechanic says "Low Flow". Not sure how big of a deal, but that's what I need you for :p He has spent over 500$ dollars on the exhaust system. He has receipts for it. ( In my state, if your car has proof that you spent over 450$ in parts towards the problem of the car, it will get a waiver on the smog test.) I have no pictures, so not much to go on without visuals. Anyways I dont want to buy this car and have to keep spending money towards repairing this car. So that is why I come for your expertise.((My first car btw, only using to drive back and forth to college)) -
Old car for sale, want it, but don't to spend alot repairing If you have any questions toward the car, feel free to ask! THANK YOU!
My boyfriend and his best female friend had a falling out before we got together 2 years ago, but they ended up volunteering at the same place for a week recently and let the past go. I was happy for him at first, but the past month he's met up with her only in the evenings or at night, and I don't know why that irks me. It wouldn't bother me if they met by day, but in reality if he was doing something behind my back he could do it in the daytime too. I feel like if I told him this he would say I'm being paranoid. I just can't pinpoint why I'm disturbed by this, and I feel like I can't bring it up with him unless I have solid reasonings.
I can't figure out why it bothers me that my boyfriend only meets up with his best female friend late at night, and I'm not sure if I'm being irrational.
So my gf (let's call her Amy) and I have been dating for over 3 years. We've gone through a lot of things together, good and bad. She was my first kiss, first gf, and I lost my virginity to her. We have had many talks about the future and getting married to each other. We regularly hang out with the same group of friends in and out of school. It consists of roughly 10 people. Around 3 of them are guys. The thing is we are all very close and hang out pretty much all the time. I've been getting very close to one of the girls in the group (let's call her Nancy). I was friends with her before I started dating Amy. Recently, I've gotten very close to Nancy. I've told her many things that I wouldn't even tell Amy. Some people have accused us up of "flirting" and have told Amy, who easily gets upset. Now, I'm a friendly person to begin with. I'm fine with making contact with all of my friends and I mess around with all of them, so I don't think of it as flirting. This has put me under a lot of pressure recently though. Since our group is mainly girls, I talk to girls pretty much everyday. But I feel like I have to act differently due to my gf. I feel like I can't laugh as much or talk as much, so Amy won't get jealous. Nancy trusts me and I trust her. We're pretty much best friends. But I think I might be developing a crush on her. I've started to care for Amy a little less, but I'm pretty sure I still love her. Breaking up with her would also be very awkward because we hang around the same group of people and our class is very small (97). Thank you.
I'm not sure if I still love my girlfriend. I might have a crush on a mutual friend. Breaking up would be awk because we have the same friends.
I recently began sleeping and hanging out with 'Sarah,' a girl that my friend 'Chris' was seriously into. I hadn't known Sarah when she and Chris were hanging out over the course of the fall and winter. He had told me that he was pursuing a girl, but barely spoke about it. In fact, Sarah saw this as nothing more than a friendship. To be fair, it was punctuated by a couple of episodes of drunken make outs, but these happened early on and didn't go any further. Chris, perhaps delusionally, interpreted these as the beginnings of a relationship, even when they didn't continue. Chris moved to another city some 6 hours away in February. In March I met Sarah, and discovered that the object of my friend's affection was exactly my 'type.' I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and wanted her badly. Sarah had been giving Chris signals that she was only interested in friendship, but Chris didn't interpret these as such. Finally, Sarah recently made it crystal-clear that there was no chance of things progressing beyond friendship for the two of them, and that their brief hookups were meaningless. Shortly thereafter, I gave in to the perfect opportunity one night and slept with her. I've seen her since several times and it's been great. We get along well and she's one of the coolest girls I've ever met. I could see this having a future. I felt compelled to tell Chris this, and he's obviously and understandably upset about it. Compounding this is the fact that Sarah is much taller than Chris, who is a fairly short guy, whereas I'm taller than her. This is obviously an important determinant of female attraction–short guys are at a disadvantage with much taller women. If I were Chris, I would never have pursued a much taller girl, nor convinced myself that a drunken kiss on a whim was a sign of reciprocal romantic attachment that I should pursue for months despite the lack of further contact. On the one hand, I strongly disagree with the notion that Chris has a never-ending claim to this girl that I really like, just because he became infatuated with her and got rejected, especially since he moved away from our city. If I had to forgo seeing this girl at this point, it'd be quite depressing. On the other hand, I accept that we're very close friends and that this principle should override anything. Obviously, it's also a blow to his ego to know that I slept with her without much difficulty. It's difficult to act morally when you really want someone, and I recognize that I made a mistake by initiating things with her, but I don't regret it. Any advice or insight you guys have would be very welcome. Should I give up the girl and patch things up, or try to work things out with Chris, who will most likely come around in time? What would you do?
My best friend fell for a girl he had little chance with. He left town, she rejected him, and then we met and hit it off immediately. He resents me now and I can't decide whether to give up the girl or try to work things out.
I'm in a tricky situation because this all happened within the last 24 hours. I've had my suspicions about my girlfriend and her work colleague (M) for a while. Last night I saw the text messages that confirmed my suspicions. They were both out and drunk earlier in the week and texted each other when they got home and admitted to one another that they liked each other. I saw these horrific text messages last night and I just broke down. After a while, I confronted her about it and she admitted it. There were plenty of tears and we tried to solve it, but she's not happy. I told her I can forgive her and work on our relationship, but she would have to do the same and tell her colleague to back off completely. I'm not sure if she will do this or not. She thinks I'll never trust her again and the relationship won't ever be fixed. I love her so much and I have always worked hard for it and I think I could make her happy again and make it work. She was a mess whilst we argued about this and she cried and said that she didn't deserve me, etc. Despite that, we are not together anymore, because she's so unhappy. And this has made me incredibly unhappy. How should I proceed with this, bearing in mind how strong my feelings are for her?
Girlfriend texts colleague a lot, admits to him that she likes him. I find out, we argue and break up. I am devastated and I want her back more than anything.
Hey Reddit, I'm not sure where to put this but I guess it's a mix between relationships, breakup and, well, life. A little explanation of why I'm asking this: A. Recently went through a breakup of a great woman (dated for 2 years). I realize what we both could have done different and I'm moving forward with my life although we remain friendly. B. I've always had a slight level of depression from a young age due to bullying and feeling very out of place in the world. C. I'm now going back to school, moving and working on new things which scares the shit out of me at times. D. I'm exercising a ton and it's been a great boost for my self esteem since I have always been ridiculed for my weight (out of shape, 203lbs, 6ft) I guess what I'm trying to say is that through all of this, I feel a lack of overall "drive", at times. I can't seem to focus on much anymore, I don't have the enjoyment I've had with my freelance business, I still miss elements of the relationship and I've realized that I'm now going to be dedicating the next 4 years of my life in a new area. I sit down to do some freelance work but it's hard to pull myself to complete projects. I have trouble relaxing (movies, music, etc) because it feels like I'm wasting time. I also feel like all of my friends are becoming distant because we are all maturing (in some ways, the relationship had become my main friendship and since it's gone, I feel like there are only a few friends left around).
I'm out of a 2 year relationship and moving forward with my life through college, exercise and freelancing but still lack "drive" on many things because of a slight, long-term depression. What gets you moving forward with your life?
So I went to a party and got really drunk, I regret a lot of it, still feel super shitty about what I did. Anyway, from what I remember and what I've been told is that I followed her around a lot and tried/did hug and touch her a lot (nowhere inappropriate though). I told at least 3 of my friends that night that I liked her and I gathered she would've known after that. Sent a message on Monday, 2 days after the party and what she sent back: [Message]( We were already pretty good friends and I probably sound like the biggest asshole but do you think we can ever be any more than friends, she didn't directly address the whole I "like" you thing. Would it be wise to set up something one-on-one to just talk?
Got drunk, got a bit clingy with crush, she knows I like her(didn't address it), she forgives me for what I did, any chance we can be more than friends.
Me and my now ex girlfriend had been together for 2 years and we had an amazing relationship and have so many memories together its long distance and because of how hard it was me not being there in the week she started talking to other guys, i didn't think anything of it just glad she had good friends anyway she ended up getting close not on purpose but just as friends then she slowly started to fall for this other guy but still has feeling for me so she broke up and then ended up going out with him under a week later I believe that she still loves me (I could be wrong) but is still scared of the distance she doesn't seem to be happy with him. however keeps getting upset when we talk because of everything we shared so now she just doesn't talk much, I don't know if this is all in my head or if she actually is what should i do in this situation i thought about reminding her about all our amazing times and holidays together but don't know what to say do you think this new guy might just be a short thing almost like a rebound or her body's way of exploring other guys out there as we are only young kind of like a cytological experiment for herself? please help I don't want to just move on and forget I really thought she was something special
Broke up after 2 year relationship ended on a good note (no arguments) she dosnt talk to me anymore as it upsets her because of the memories what should i do to keep her in my life?
I (38f) have been with my husband Bryan (42/m) for twenty years this November. We've been married for 14 years and we have four littles. Our youngest is only 8 months (boy) and we have 3 girls between 5 and 12. My husband runs his own business and is really successful at his job and our lives are very comfortable. We have a 700k home, great new cars, and our children have everything they possibly could want. I've never cheated on Bryan. He on the other hand.... I caught him cheating when we were first dating. Forgave him. Caught him with another woman when our oldest daughter was 6 mo old. Found out he was cheating through his email in 2006 with another woman. Did not confront that time. There are a few more incidents over the years but in total I know he has cheated on me with at least 8 other women. Probably a lot more but I haven't caught everything. He travels a lot for work too. The first time I caught him he begged me to take him back and it would never happen again. The second time I asked him to move out and we separated for three months but I let him back after he promised he was reformed. Rinse. Repeat. I stopped confronting after a while because I wasn't going to divorce him and he wasn't going to stop. I really don't know why he cheats. I have sex with him whenever he wants (we do have four kids for a reason...). I think I'm a good wife. I've been supportive of him and his business. I've been a good mom and raised our kids, sometimes alone. Its not like I don't care that he cheats. I hate it. It crushes me. But I'm numb now. The good things with Bryon is he is a great provider. Our family has everything we possibly could want because of how good he is at his job. He is a really great father too. He isn't here as much as he could be, but when he is he is always involved with the kids and our kids love him (as they should). He is still my best friend after all this time. We can make each other laugh at the most stressful times and cheating aside, we have a pretty happy marriage. My question is, is it okay to just look the other way with his cheating? Is it pathetic?
My husband of 14 years has had multiple affairs. We have a good life otherwise. Is it okay to stay with him despite the cheating?
Alright, before I start, I just want to say that I'm a first time poster. I started lurking about a month ago so I'm not very familiar with being a redditor, any quick tips on posting and everything would be appreciated. First off, some background on me: I just graduated from high school, I'm 6'3" and played lacrosse in high school and plan to in college. I've been told that I'm a pretty attractive guy, but I've never been great with girls. I didn't have a girlfriend all of high school and am a virgin, like all I've ever done is make out. I'm a shy guy. I get close with girls but can never make a move, so I always get stuck in the friend zone. I can never tell if a girl is actually into me even if she's giving major signals. Now, my present situation is that I recently started talking to a girl that I had some classes with in high school and we talked in school a lot but never outside. I always kind of had a little crush on her I guess you would call it because it was nothing serious. We started talking two weeks ago and have been talking constantly because we instantly clicked, we have so much in common and have the same exact sense of humor it's unbelievable. However, I've been on vacation the last two weeks and just got back today, so we haven't had the chance to hang out until now. We decided to hang out tomorrow and she told me to come to her dad's apartment she's staying at because she's watching his dog while he's out of town. I'm so bad at this I don't know if that is any type of signal immediately inviting me to an empty apartment to watch a dog. I mean seriously, you don't have to babysit a dog all day. Right? I don't know. Anyway, I feel like she's flirting with me, because we've both complimented each other a lot, and she's always saying like "omg I seriously love you", "wait, you're like my favorite person", and just girl stuff like that. I don't know if that's flirting or not. I like to think it is then I convince myself that it's not flirting. One thing that kind of made me feel like I'm getting friend zoned went like this: Michelle: Really? Barack ur like the only nice guy I fucking know like you are so sweet to me and you aren't creeping and i know you aren't just trying to like fuck me like you're a good friend we need to hangout. Barack: Sike...just tryna fug Michelle: Lol I fucking love you ^those are the exact quotes from our texts. Me being Barack of course. Basically I could use help with what those mean and your thought on if making a move on her tomorrow would be a good or bad idea.
shy guy/virgin through high school starts talking to girl who is perfect for me. She invites me to her dad's apartment who is out of town. Never hungout before. Possible flirting. Don't know where I'm at. Thank you in advance for any help!
It is the most fucked up Situation I have ever been! My Ex-Girlfriend and I had a 6 year long Relationship. She broke up with me 5 Weeks ago because for a while no one seemed to care for this Relationship anymore. I guess we both asked ourselves If this Relationsship is good enough to last forever. Now that she is gone I really know how I feel for her and I believe she was the love of my life. While she was breaking up with me she told me that she isn't seeing any Man. I've spend the last 4 Weeks showing her how much I care for her and hoping she would give me an other Chance. 1 Week ago I found out that she has an Affair with the WIFE of a married Couple. She started the Affair when we were still together. This Couple has a 6 Year old son. We had met this Couple in December last year and we have visited them since then 5 times. It still hurts thinking about how we had fun together and in the same Moment behind my back my Girlfriend was betraying me. This Wife is the reason my Ex-Girlfriend left me! So now this Husband has contacting me because he has the aussumption that something between his wife and my Ex-Girlfriend is very wrong and asked me If I know anything about it. So should I "destroy" their marriage and tell him the truth? My Ex-Girlfriend told me to backup because it isn't my Job to tell him. It is his Wife Job to do that. My Ex-Girlfriend is so in love with her that she has 0 unterstanding what I am going through.
Should I tell the Husband that his Wife has an Affair with my now Ex-Girlfriend. His Wife is the reason why she my Girlfriend has broke up with me!
My two best friends and I are freshman in college, and all 18. For the sake of removing some bias, I'm going to leave gender out of this. The three of us will be addressed as 1, 2, and 3. 1 is in their very first relationship. Things moved quickly from first kiss ever to sex (it took about 5 months total, they've now been more or less together for 10 months.) 1 was also turned onto very regular pot, alcohol, and tobacco use by their 18 year old SO (significant other.) Upon leaving for different colleges, they still had not put an official public label on their relationship status, so this SO slept with their ex and a few other people within the first two months. 1 was upset by this, but did not see this as a deal breaker. 1 instead said that they needed to be exclusive or not have a relationship at all. They now wear the exclusive label and pretend the ordeal didn't happen. 2 and 3 do not like or trust 1's SO. 2 has more of a history of casual relations with people. They recently started hooking up with someone they have known for 9 months. The issue however, is that 2 met this person when this person was a temporary teacher at their high school in their senior year. This person is well over twice 2's age, divorced, and has two young kids, but is just as casual at this point as 2. 1 and 3 do not know or trust this person at all. 3 started a relationship with their 18 year old SO a year ago. They dated and their relationship progressed normally, but they had nothing in common; their personalities just fit decently. 3's SO has broken up with 3 numerous times over short-lived fits of emotion, crippling 3 emotionally for days/weeks at a time (which vicariously upset 1 and 2.) The last time the SO broke up with 3, it seemed pretty final, and just as 3 has nearly recovered emotionally, the SO decides they should get back together. The two of them realize they have no potential at marriage, and just want a relationship for now. 1 and 2 are sick of seeing 3 being emotionally wrought. I realize to most of you, this is probably coming off as naive frivolity, but these are the only thorns in our friendship, and I would just like some outside advice/opinion.
1 is dating a bad influence scumbag. 2 is hooking up with someone more than twice their age. 3 is being repeatedly heartbroken by the same person.
I used the search function but didn't get much in return. Anyways, has anyone taken time off from a long term relationship and was able to return to your SO for the better? How did that go for you? I feel like we are in need of space and by space I mean living in separate houses and away from each other. We have been loyal to each other but the spark is just not there anymore. We fight over stupid stuff, stress each other out, and seeing each other all day doesn't help either(we both work from home). So all these things combined affects our relationship. We tend to communicate our issues and usually take a step or two forward but also 5 steps back. This is just an idea I would like to communicate with my SO some time this year but wanted to see if anyone has experience with this. Edit:
Relationship is in shambles - Thinking about discussing time off with SO - Hoping this move brings us back together and back into a relationship when we first met.
so my gf and I have been together for about 8 months now and i've recently noticed how often she needs reassurance in our relationship. She's asked questions like this before but i never really thought much of it. She'll ask questions like, "do you think I'm pretty?", "how much do you love me?", "will you pet me and tell me what you like about me?" (yes I pet her and its obnoxiously cute and we're weird). just questions like that really. I understand that people need reassurance in their relationship but she been literally asking me one or 2 reassurance questions everyday i'm with her. (note: we only really get to hang out on friday and the weekends because I live like 2 hours away from each other) I do plan on talking with her about it and the fact that she asks me whenever I'm with her, makes me feel like I'm forced to answer it in her favor and it doesn't feel genuine. It feels like I'm constantly reassuring her that we'll be together forever and i'll love her forever and its a bit exhausting. (yes, she asks "will you love me forever?" kind of questions) I kind of can't tell if I'm over exaggerating this and I really don't mean to, but its really just something that I've noticed recently. Like I said, I plan to talk with her about it but I also have a concern that I may just be insensitive. And another thing that came across my mind was that some people show reassurance in different ways and she needs it verbally while some may need it physically. I don't know. I'd like to know everyone's thoughts about it and if anyone has been in this sort of situation..
My gf always asks me questions to reassure our relationship and its been bothering me since i've recently noticed it. I don't know what to do about it other than talk to her about it (which is a given i think) edit- spacing
Absolutely agree about finding a support group of some sort, particularly for younger parents, if possible. Although I would add, it would also be good to make friends with young(ish) parents outside of support group(s) as well, particularly if your circle of friends are doing "typical" teenager things - seeing or hearing this can contribute to focusing on what you don't have. As far as working through the feelings you have in the moment, consider asking yourself what you are doing in that moment, are you doing your best to give your child all he needs based on the information you have (that sounds like a definite yes btw!). If you you feel you can do a better job, no problem, all of us can do better even if we are doing a fine enough job; talk to other parents, read a book, etc.
make some friends who are parents closer to your age in addition to support group, always room for improvement, & you ARE doing a fine job!
I was young and stupid. 15 and cash to blow, my friend and I decide to buy a quarter pound of schwagg to deal. Stupid right? Well, this friend, some other friends, and I get blackout drunk one night and decide it would be a good idea to 'fuck shit up' around the neighborhood because as I said, we were young and stupid, and my small town has nothing better to offer. So we're out and about, taking down signs, setting phonebooks on fire, what have you. My other two friends get out of control so I decide that now would be a good time to head home. I get no less than 200 meters away from my house and would't you know, the popo stop behind me after getting vandalism calls leading in my direction. The next thing I know I'm slammed into the back hood of a cop car with handcuffs around my wrists and damn do those things hurt! They find me with about a half ounce on me and little baggies too. Obvious attempt to distribute charge. Lo' and behold, the cop was an officer that had settled domestic disputes at my home time and time again. I get taken to my house and my dad talks to the cops. I don't get any charges but am told he would throw the book at me if he ever caught me doing anything that stupid again and boy have I learned! Never had to wear those damn handcuffs since! knock on wood
Got picked up by the cops with intent to sell after a night of drunken vandalism. Cop knew my dad and I got off scotch-free. Learned my lesson.
Before my parents had me, my dad was quite the motorcyclist. My mom basically made him quit when she was pregnant with me. Fast forward to when I was almost 7. One night I overheard my dad talking to my mom about getting me a little dirt bike for my 7th birthday, I very vividly remember my mom telling my dad that "he would be sleeping on the couch for a very long time" if he were to ever do so. Well, one day after school around my birthday, we didn't drive home after he picked me up, just said we were going on an errand first. We ended up at the Yamaha dealership, which ended up with me being the proud "owner" of a PW50 and a sweet helmet. We (and by we, I mean my dad) packed it all up into the back of our minivan and proceeded to drive home. I was told, "under no circumstances do you ever mention this to your mother." Of course I would never tell mom! Why would I ever ruin something so awesome. I didn't even have to tell my mom for her to find out, mom sense or something. She knew something was up, we were both smiling like idiots. My dad slept on the couch, for awhile. I rode the wheels of this thing every day after school. We had a particularly annoying neighbour that liked to hate on everything and anyone in the neighbourhood. I guess one day he called the cops. Now my house is at the top of a rather large and long hill and I was riding around the cul de sac at the bottom of this hill. I saw a cop car roll up and I thought, "oh sweet a cop!" and proceeded to continue my figure 8's. This was the first (definitely not the last) time I was ever pulled over, he flipped on the lights and sirens and pulled me over, thanks guy. Told me I wasn't allowed to ride on the street. I was pretty sad at that and told him that I would just ride back home and put it in the garage. Well jerk cop guy here, tells me I'm not allowed to ride it back. I had to push this heavy ass dirt bike (for a 7 year old) up a pretty sizable hill. Just to make sure I did what he told me, he followed me in his car the whole way up the hill with his lights on... In the end though it was all great times!
Dad bought me first motorcycle at 7, had to sleep on the couch for a while. Got pulled over for the first time at 7 and a few weeks old.
I have never really done anything bad to her. I of course love her for being my sister, but ever since I can remember she has been talking negatively about me behind my back when she was with our cousins. I'm 21 (male) she's 27, and I have never told her how much I dislike her for doing it. She's been doing it for pretty much all my life, and of course everytime I've seen and heard her doing it I've felt my cousins again and again have gotten a worse impression of who I am. Examples I can remember is my cousins coming up to me from time to time asking about 'the time did this dumb thing and that thing'. Am I just being too negative over something 'normal'? Struggling with life for the past 10 years or so have been hard for me, yet she stills talk about me behind my back, making it even worse for me to connect with our cousins. I've felt for many years that my cousins have a much more positive idea of who my sister is than how they perceive me and this also leaves me somewhat depressed and angry at my sister, but I've never told her.
Sister has been talking rather negatively behind my back for years, I'm angry at her for doing this because it affects my relationships with my cousins. I've never told her.
Never tell your prof. his/her subject/part of subjest/assigment sucks/is lame/is pathetic or anyhing among those lines. You will not fare well. You will fail with a thud that will wake the Devil himself. This just happened at my college today; the lecture was Intro to Cultural science, and the prof.s assistant (that handles 99% of the subject, assigments and grades) told us which cultural events are obligatory; not many went, but only 2 of 90 were smart enough to say they likd it, while quite a few told her that the movie (about a localy known director) was idiotic and lame. One dared to tell her she was "too well dressed" and left out of "embarassement". The woman spent the next hour and half furiously talking about culture, words between the lines and our general lazyness; the generations (there are but 4, it's a young Dpt.) before us have a few festivals, radio-shows, brands, magazines, while not one of the 100 of us has yet made a constructive critic on the topic of the movie that a group of older students made . I was shamed to no end, and I couldn't even attend. The idiots that pissed her off were brazen enough to dare to be md at her after she left; for those who didn't get it - thi s is a huge insult. They just managed to tell her the only reason they attend is to get some kind of degree, they don't give a flying fuck about her subject, the Uni, and mos of her lifes work isn't worth shit to them because they're "too good" for her "cultural events".
Try not to insult your prof.s subject, not a good idea. EDIT; Sorry about the mistakes, on my phone, and eng is my 2nd language ;)
Heh, when I was young I believed that I would find my true love someday, or better, that true love exists. The bubble just burst a few months ago. I have been trying to find a girlfriend for 10 years now. My first and only girlfriend just used me and left for a guy with a car after we were two years together. Before she left me she made clear to me that men are just toys for her... I am very shy, but someday I met a nice girl who seemed really nice. I somehow overcame my shyness and somehow managed to not look too stupid. Well, it worked out quite well for my first try at a date. But it never became a relationship... she was just toying with me and every time I got doubts about here she played nice. Finally, after 3 years (yeah, I know, I am stupid) of fighting for a relationship I gave finally up... Maybe I would have tried even longer if my brother would not have told me what a moron I am. This happened 5 months ago and I am still depressed. What else really started to annoy me was, that I never met a couple who would really love each other. Most were cheating on each other. Also my own family is completely broken. It was also very interesting to know when I grew up, that all the aunts and friends of my family where also cheating each other... When they had their meetings where only women were allowed, they would even brag about how often they have cheated their husbands. This is also one thing which still cracks me up and I am not sure if I could ever trust a women. At least finally I got to the point where I still wish for a nice and honest girl (looks are not that important to me) but now I am too afraid to even start a relationship again after all the things happened. Sad thing is, that now I am old, and most women who are single just search for someone who has money so they can keep buying shoes and keep cheating on their husbands... at least that's what many of my moms friends do, sigh. Ugh, sry, this got way too long ^^' Somehow I didn't notice that I wrote so much ^^'
Believed in true love for at least since I learned about it and had to learn painfully that it doesn't exist. edit: Added line breaks... good idea ^^'
I've been on the hunt for a while now after I chose not to renew a previous contract, and one of the first places I interviewed was my husband's company (in the HR department, coincidentally). They seemed keen on getting someone in asap, but it's been almost four months since I interviewed (five since I applied), and they still haven't contacted me about their decision (I've been following up every few weeks, and they just keep saying, "we're working on it"). Supposedly, they are hugely busy (company is growing, not enough recruiters, etc), but considering how they kept saying they were "so impressed" with me and my skills and "really wanted to start someone soon" (with implications that the other candidates are below my skill level)...it makes me wonder how they ever get quality candidates to join their team. I'm now taken, having received an offer from another organization last week (though I don't have anything signed yet, which is making me nervous after reading through some of these posts)...so I guess their lack of communication (and lack of decision-making abilities) is their loss. Side note: whenever I have helped out in the HR process in previous jobs, I have always made sure we sent rejection notices for both applicants and interviewees (sometimes dozens of each) as soon as possible after we know we don't want them - email notices are very easy (our method was to copy and paste addresses into the BCC field from an HR inbox). Not one rejected candidate ever emailed or called back in anger or sadness.
it doesn't take much effort to notify rejected candidates, from personal experience. Also, when an employer doesn't keep open the lines of communication with candidates, they risk losing the best ones to more responsive competitors!
This is probably going to sound a bit strange; but it honestly meant an awful lot to me. I was out at a bar on Saint Patrick's Day getting my Irish on, obviously a bit drunk. I had just broke up with my ex-boyfriend because I found out he was cheating on me for like a month; so I was a little down still. I gave up smoking pot while we were in a relationship because he didn't approve. I didn't touch it at all for the 5 months that we were dating; and some of my friends were out smoking in the parking lot. I had helped them out more times than I could count before that, so I asked them if I could buy them a drink for like a puff or two. They told me that I was out of luck because they didn't have enough left to last them for the rest of the day. I was a little bit upset; but there wasn't much I could do, so I just went back inside. About an hour later this really strange older guy in a bib snowsuit ([Kind of like this...]( with no shirt on underneath comes up to me when I was running out to my car and asks me if I wanted to smoke with him. I said sure, and he obliged. Then he told me that he could see that I really "have the music in my eyes" and gave me a brand new harmonica for free. I actually am a musician, so I thought this was odd; but that honestly made my year. It's the little things like that that matter sometimes...
Saint Patty's Day. Depressed after breaking up with my cheating bf. Wanted to toke up a little. Friends weren't friendly (said no). Crazy old guy out of nowhere shares a bowl with me and gives me a free harmonica. All is right in the world...
Hello. This is actually more of a question and a rant, rather than a search for advice. This girl is, or well... Used to be is more like it, my best friend. My friend has got a boyfriend for about 5 years now. A little over a year ago, she met this other guy and they became best friends within months. Like whenever I was with her, she'd be texting him. When I saw them together, there was this obvious chemistry you could see with the naked eye. Oh, This guy has a girlfriend. Now there wouldn't be a problem if they were just friends, but they're cheating on their partners (I walked in on them kissing, like properly, tongue and all, while they said they loved each other). I can't confirm if they've slept with each other, but it wouldn't surprise me. I've seen him leave her place around midnight when her boyfriend was out working. I wasn't spying, my boyfriend and I live across the street. Soo... Their current partners do not seem to know, I mean.. I'd dump my partner if I figured out he cheated on me. Hell, I don't even know how their partners do not notice. When they're around each other, they're constantly hugging and talking to each other (even when their partners are there also) like they've just started dating. Like I mentioned previously, obvious chemistry. Why is this making me so angry? My boyfriend is good friends with her boyfriend, and I feel strung up by having to keep my mouth shut. I'm constantly carrying the burden of her secret. I haven't confronted her/told anyone because they're that couple that just seems to be perfect. They seem to love each other very much, even after 5 years. Yet... Her actions say otherwise. I mean, why on earth would she cheat on her boyfriend if she loves him as much as she says she does? It makes no sense at all. I mean she's only human, but I simply can't imagine cheating on the person I love. I wouldn't allow it to get that far, she obviously did. Especially because it's been going on for way too long to be "just a mistake". (Caught them kissing about 5 months ago, saw him leaving her place last night). There are obvious and strong feelings between her and 'the other guy'. Am I wrong to think all of this? Should I confront her or should I just tell her boyfriend? Regards, A VERY frustrated person.
I caught my friend cheating on her boyfriend of 5 years. Her boyfriend and mine are close friends and this is affecting me in many ways.
Hi everybody - I've got a dilemma here that's keeping me up (literally...4 AM and can't sleep.) I am currently in software sales (consider this job 'A') and am paid with a base salary + a bonus (which I never miss,) making $47,000 last year in total. On average, my pay has been 46% higher throughout this fiscal year. I'm highly regarded at my company, which is a small business that's one of the fastest growing in the country. Let's assume I make just south of $70,000 this year. This job is 12 miles from my home and my commute is approximately 45 minutes each way. I was offered a job at a staffing firm with a base salary of $50,000 and uncapped commission, which I will not receive my first year with this company (job 'B'.) Most people at job B are making 6 figures by their 3rd year, and top performers are making 6 figures in their second year. This job is in downtown DC, and the cheapest parking available is $265 a month (public transportation would only save me the cost of gas, but would be approximately the same per month otherwise.) My commute with this job would double to 1hr 30mins, and I would need to be at work half an hour earlier and stay half an hour later. My cost of living this year will increase as I'm moving into an apartment (today) on my own with a rent payment of 1160/mo before utilities. I previously had roommates, and spent less than 15% of my income on my housing. I do not have time to move closer to job B this year. Job A incurs no additional costs aside from the cost of gas - parking is free as it is in a less urban environment.
do I take a pay cut this year to transition into a job with uncapped commission starting next year that would raise my cost of living fairly significantly.
Dated for 1.5 years. Friends for a long time before that, lots of mutual friends. I have never met a single other person in the world like him. Everyone I meet starts to annoy me at some point but he never did and we spent so much time together. 14 months in, I corner him and ask questions (I vaguely knew about some events but never probed) until he admits he cheated (the actual physical acts were pretty innocent) and lied (which is what really bothered me). We tried to keep it going for 3 months but I kept having "bad days" and would get really upset about how he lied, even though I knew he was done lying and really opened up about everything (I mean, EVERYTHING) and our relationship grew so much. But it got to a point where we were seeing each other every available waking moment and I felt like my life was stagnating. I broke up with him about a month ago. Communication has been on and off but mostly on, we see each other frequently and are friendly and it's okay. I've since been hanging out with other friends more and got set up with a friend of a friend [29m]. He's nice and is not looking for a relationship. Nothing has happened and we haven't gotten anywhere near going on a date even but that might be because he got a nasty sinus infection and has been out of commission for like 2 weeks. We have plans to hang out later this week. Part of me wants to get back together with my ex because I know we're gonna end up together but I feel like I haven't figured stuff out yet. I feel guilty about wanting to see other people because 1) I don't see a future with them and 2) I don't want to hurt the person that I want to end up with. I don't know if it's selfish of me to go on a date with someone new or if it's smart to get it out of my system or see what's out there before committing to someone long-term or if I should just let everyone go and accept a lonely, uncomplicated life. I'm feeling like I need to make my own mistakes before I can fully forgive him for his mistakes. I wish I could be a bigger person and lead by example but my life is so void of stupid mistakes and I feel left out.
broke up with bf a month ago, want to see someone new but don't want to hurt ex because I want to get back together with him eventually.
The argument of "but what incentive does that give me to work hard?" just absolutely drives me nuts. The CEO's and their higher-up corporate minions wouldn't be the fat cats if it weren't for the hard work of the everyday laborer. I don't think anyone is sitting back saying "Gee, the guy who makes $80,000 a year and supports his wife and small kids and lives in a modest house should pay more to support everyone else." It's that we can't seem to wrap our heads around where the millions in salary and the millions piled on in bonuses comes from. NO ONE deserves that kind of pay day. If you sit at the top of the company, you are not running its day-to-day; you're not the trader on the floor; you're not the secretary working late to schedule all of the meetings. And who has kids who can't afford them? Maybe the recently-divorced; maybe a woman who accidentally got pregnant, but then couldn't get an abortion because some politician decided she couldn't; maybe some family new to the country struggling to make a better life for their kids.
People who make their fortunes off the sweat of others should kick some of that wealth back to them. And the lack of empathy in economics disgusts me.
The tyler letter, July 30 2011 Yo jordan its jordan. If you ever start to miss tyler, well dont. Yeah shes nice and one of the cutest at school, but that isnt really saying much lol. Remember the reason she dumped you? Over religion! Dont stick your dick in crazy as they say. You wont have a meaningful adult relationship with someone who at a base level you cant agree with. She did you a favor as you wouldnt have to dump her later. Another reason. She went back to cody loool. They are actually perfect together. Both pretty immature. Have the same interests . Batshit crazy with jesus lol. He can have her. Besides, would you really like to be with someone who can start dating someone 6 days after her mother died?!?! Or someone that "rediscovers" feelings for her ex less than a month after she dumps you. Dont get me wrong though bro. Dont get mad or bitter at her. During your time together, she was 100% yours you fuckin boss. She just had principles(stupid medievel ones) but principles nonetheless that made her lose romantic interest in you. That and being a little needy and supplicating(be the alpha boss you know you are). You have to respect her for being upfront about it. Shes a good friend for that. Oh god and never bitch to her again. Jeezus you sound like such a little girl. Bottom line is: she truly liked you for who you are. Yes she did some messed up things, but you cant blme her as shes a fuckin high school girl. Theyre all like that. She cant date you because shes crazy. Get over it. Its her loss really. So to
tyler is a shitty girlfriend for losing out on you, but still a good friend who cares about you. Hope this picks you up a bit jordan. Now go hit on some chicks you faggot.
I've been in a happy, healthy relationship with my boyfriend for 7 months. Not long, I know. But he and I were best friends in the 7th and 8th grade until he told me he loved me and then we stopped talking. I had severe depression from 8th-10th grade, and still struggle with it now. But I cut him out of my life because I felt I was no good for him. After an attempted suicide in 10th grade, I didn't go to school for the rest of the year. In the summer before 11th grade, I texted him, and found out he moved onto a street that connects to mine. We decided to meet up at the park the next morning. Everything was wonderful. We immediately felt comfortable around each other, nothing was awkward. I went on a two week vacation and when I got back, we got together. We were each other's first kisses, and no it wasn't awkward. It was just like the movies haha. We were blissfully happy. Like all great things, we kind of plateaued. About 5 months in, we just lost the spark and were so used to spending every second of every day together that it was just routine. We'd fight a lot with all the time we would spend together. It would get worse and worse until we had the discussion asking if we just weren't right for each other. We spent the next day not seeing or talking to each other, and the next spent crying our hearts out and saying that we did not want to ever lose the other. The past two months have been bliss. We've had our ups and still downs, but we've been strong communicators and know that the one thing we want in this world is each other. He cries when he imagines experiencing what he's exprienced with me with anybody else, and so do I. We just want each other.
I KNOW I'm in love with my boyfriend. We plan to be together forever. We want it more than anything. Do you believe in TRUE love? That never dies, even when found at such a young age?
I keep seeing different articles about people being arrested, or having their cameras taken. I really just want to know my rights once and for all! If there is a confrontation, and I want to film it: Can an officer make me shut off my camera? Can they take it from me? Do I need to inform them that I'm rolling video? Are there differences between states? I am confused, and I would rather not end up with prison time....
Can I shoot without being shot? EDIT: I know it varies state to state...is there somewhere were I can find that? And I'm not looking for trouble, just curious more than anything :)
When I was that age I was the sidekick to a toxic friend. My parents forbade me to see her and that just made her so much more exciting. We snuck around like star-crossed lovers. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized my parents were completely right, she is/was mean, belittling to me and pushing me around, and I cut her out of my life. So I would advise not making declarations. Also this is exactly the age when they form those cliques and best-friend situations (that often go dramatically sour) and there is a ton of drama-- it's normal. Horrible but normal. For now it's like Game of Thrones. But it passes. My daughter is 12 now, and finally things have settled down with one group of friends who are mostly decent. But the past two years were tears, exclusions (from and by her), grudges, blah blah. Some suggestions: Ask your daughter questions to make her think: "what do you think when A interrupts her mom?" "What do you think about how A treats B?" Etc. I discovered for me the best time to talk with the daughter is before bed, turn out the light, ask if you can keep her company, lie next to her in bed for a few minutes. I don't even have to ask, my daughter to avoid going to sleep will talk endlessly. Though now that she's 12 not as much any more. find her at least one activity outside of school, sports, an art class, whatever, camp in the summer, so if she becomes the target of A at school she has somewhere else to turn. And IMO there is nothing wrong-- and it's even your job-- to remind/tell her what your values are, give your opinion and praise her when she does the right thing. "I don't like the way A treats people, and I am so proud of you for not treating people that way and instead being kind/polite/sticking up for kids when other kids are mean to them/standing up for yourself" etc. etc. It may seem like kids aren't listening and are ignoring what you say, but you do still have influence at 10 and can at least plant seeds to make her give some thought to A's behavior.
Ask daughter questions, expand her social circle, remind her of your values and make sure she knows you are proud of her for not being snotty.
I hope you guys can give an outside perspective on this because I'm really at a loss of what to do. Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years now, and we're pretty serious... have talked in depth about long-term plans to get married & have kids etc. The last 6 months have been particularly tough, though, as I have depression and it's taken a strain on our relationship. We had a massive fight last night and it's bought up a lot of issues that were "simmering" in our relationship. Basically, he feels that our lives are going in "different directions". He works and I'm still studying and he has made it very clear that he wants us to move in this year. While that's definitely an exciting option for me, especially as we live near the schools I'm applying to do my PhD, I'm also thinking about quitting education to get a job. Because of the type of work I want to do, this means moving away, or even abroad. I've explained to him how I think this is important to our relationship - that I would rather move in together in a year or so, and be sure I'm happy in what I'm doing, rather than move in now and hate my work. It would inevitably have a negative effect on our relationship. But he has explained he feels because of this (and the depression) that he's "not enough" to make me happy and that I am always looking for more. That being said, after sleeping on it he's told me that he will support me in whatever I choose to do, and that he loves me enough to "wait". But it's raised other questions that I've been having about our relationship which is making me question our future together. As I said, we want the same things in the long-term (family, marriage), but I want to move around (which he has said he is open to vaguely "in the future") and I'm not in such a rush to get settled. We're 22. I worry that I'm going to end up resenting him for feeling like (even though he says he won't) he's trying to restrict my choices. Otherwise, we have a pretty great relationship which makes me so reluctant to give up on it. He's an awesome guy but it's raising some more subtle differences in our personalities that I'm concerned are going to be problematic. I'm more adventurous, liberal, spiritual, experimental, than him and I feel this is pronounced in this situation. So Reddit, any suggestions about whether I should end the relationship to feel less restricted (but then may end up taking the PhD anyway), or am I being immature and need to appreciate what I have?
Been together for 2 years and pretty great relationship, but boyfriend is in a rush to settle down and seems to resent my reluctance to do so. Not sure whether to trying and work through this recurring problem, or accept that we are different?
As I near the age of thirty I've given up on the idea of " finding someone special ". If I don't feel at least some attraction then I have no interest in said person. I've talked to women to whom was attracted to me but I just didn't feel anything for them at least not in a romantic way. On the other hand when I am the one that is attracted the roles are then reversed. I'm the one that has one sided feelings in that situation at best all I will manage is maybe a new friend. I'm not saying that all interactions I have with women need be romantic. Far from it. Nor am I saying that I'm owed a relationship. I'm just stating what my attempts at romance have been thus far. I don't blame the women that turned me down for I think they turned me down for similar reasons I turned down someone else. Now since I've never saw any change in that situation I've realized that it was foolish to even go looking for someone. To be honest I have mixed feelings of this sometimes I'm fine with it sometimes it disturbs me of what decision I've made. Now before you say " date someone you aren't attracted to " or " give them a chance ". You might want to know two things of my nature. One I'm deeply introverted. Just socializing is a draining experience for me. So if I'm not interested chances are I won't be later down the road. And two I'm strongly misanthropic. Under most circumstances most people see me as being cold or uncaring. While that is a half-truth to which I admit I do care for those to whom I want to be in my life. Having said that if someone approaches me that is attracted to me ( someone to whom I have no attraction to ) I'm far more likely to seem cold and or uncaring. Now since I've realized I'm going to live my life single I've noticed more women hitting on me then ever before ( still the same type of women, women to whom I have zero attraction so that hasn't changed ). So why is it I only seem to attract women to whom I don't have any interest in ? I think this alone is the most disturbing thing to me. In my view I've given those women zero hints, flirtatious looks and or messages of a possible crush. Why is it the more cold I act towards someone I'm not interested in the more they have interest in me. I just don't understand it.
My lack of having a mutual attraction has led me to the decision of me staying single. As a result I'm now getting hit on more frequently by women I'm not interested in.
I cheated on my current boyfriend when I was in China. I met him when I entered college and he became a good friend. Then sophomore year I started to like him and decided to pursue him, finally we started dating a month before summer came. I went to China during that summer and it didn't seem like we were dating. He even admitted it later. He said he thought maybe he should break up with me when summer was over. He said he felt like he was single. And that's how I felt. We hardly talked and well, although I liked him, it wasn't that serious. So in my mind, for some stupid reason, I thought "Hmm, I probably won't date and want to marry him." If I have a fling and no one finds out, that shouldn't matter too much. In one month, I had slept with three different guys. One whose name I don't even know. I didn't feel it at the time, but when I came back I felt guilty. He trusts me completely and it kills me inside. Not only did I betray his trust, I also caught chlamydia and gave it to him. The last time I was tested was three months before him. So he doesn't know I cheated on him. But, sometimes I feel like he does. He just doesn't want to confront me about it because he's afraid it'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. I cut ties to all the people I met in China. I buried my past. But I still feel the guilt. And I'm afraid he'll find out one day and leave me. Now, I do love him. I actually want to marry him. It's the only secret I've kept from him.
Slept with three different guys while abroad. I had just started dating my boyfriend. I don't think he's ever found out but if I had the choice to change only one thing in my life, I wish I never cheated.
So yesterday was my 22nd birthday, and I was very excited to be going out with galpals for the first time in my life. I'm pretty introverted, and I've felt very alone in company before. So my first friend arrives, and we have a blast talking. It's easy, and we have a good friend and a lot in common. I'm going to call this friend Stephanie. I leave the seating area to go to the bathroom, and when I get back, my other friend had arrived. I'm going to be calling her Lucie for this story. Things are going pretty well, Lucie and I are drinking, Stephanie isn't 21 so she can't. This is when things start to get weird. Stephanie and Lucie hadn't met yet, and were sitting next to one another and begin to get to know each other. This is fine, and I'm glad my two friends like each other. This trend of them talking to each other continues, and gets more intense. Stephanie had her back turned to me, and I'd started to feel very left out of my own birthday celebration. The night ends at around 9 because the bar becomes 21+ plus at that time. Throughout the last hour of the night, they said maybe three words to me, and Lucie mentioned me in conversation maybe twice. I had ended up drinking a bit too much and was feeling nauseated so I decided to call it a night, too. Now that the night is coming to an end, I end up going to bathroom because I don't want to be sick at the bar. (Sidenote here, I was fine, didn't throw up.) I asked Lucie to watch our stuff while Stephanie and I went to the bathroom. We were in there for about 1 minute and change, and Lucie walks into the bathroom. She had asked the girls sitting next to us to watch out stuff. (This has made me very angry, seeing as my purse obviously holds valuable things in it.) This all happened last night, and I woke up feeling quite depressed. Being ignored and feeling alone is something thats been way too common in my life. When I was in school, I sat alone at lunch always. Things like this have continued to happen into my adult life, so it is a sore spot for me. The good part of all of this is that this morning, I spoke with Stephanie and she was completely understanding, very apologetic, and wanted to make up a night with me. She told me that "of course you want your birthday to be about you! Thats completely normal." My question to you, Reddit, is how do I breach this conversation with Lucie, who I feel wont be understanding, ask me why I didn't "speak up for myself" and be mad at me for raising an issue. I've been seeing behavioral patterns that I don't like in her for a while now, but she still is my friend.
I invited two friends out for my 22nd birthday celebration at our favorite family friendly bar, and both girls proceeded to spend the night talking to one another, and not to me. It raised an uncomfortably familiar feeling for me.
My sister has been a scuba diving instructor in Playa Del Carmen since she graduated college in January of 2014. When she moved there, she started quickly dating a guy her age from Argentina and they now live together. The relationship seems to be on the rocks and instead of moving home with my parents in the midwest, she's now contemplating packing up her bags and moving straight to thailand which downright terrifies me for a variety of reasons. 1) She has had a long battle with depression and I don't think she's stable enough to be on the other side of the world without family or a support system close by. She forgets her medicine frequently and forgets to refill her prescriptions. My parents have visited her in Playa 3x and other friends about 2x since she's been there. 2) She is WAY too trusting of people and is irresponsible- i.e. giving to panhandlers, walking alone at night, and opting to walk on the side of the highway at night to catch a bus instead of catching a taxi. She has also lost her passport and let her work visa expire so she was in mexico illegally for a couple weeks while her visa was processed. These are just the things I know about so I assume there's way worse things. Because of the above things, I'm petrified of her with even the thought of going to thailand. Since she's so trusting, I'm afraid that there's a possibility that she could be kidnapped and brought into human trafficking. My sister is 5'5" blonde hair, blue-eyed, and rail thin. She sticks out already in mexico but i fear her looks paired with her overtrusting nature will get her in trouble. My parents seem to think the prospect of moving to thailand is great especially given that the diving companies are in need of female divers. I point out that the main reason why there aren't many female divers is because of the trafficking conditions and danger present there. I've only traveled to europe, but in polling my friends that have traveled there, you want to be in a group of people and traveling alone isn't ideal if you're a woman. I'm freaking out that my parents are so non-chalant about this and aren't thinking about her safety. Am I being irrational or should I be genuinely concerned?
sister is looking to move solo to thailand and I don't this it's safe nor does she possess the street smarts/savvy to live on her own
Internet, but more specifically fiber optics. Google Fiber offers Fiber Optic speeds in very limited areas, but those speeds are about 1 Gbps Download AND Upload. For $10 more than what Google Fiber offers per month, you could get UP TO (Keywords: Up to, meaning on a good day at best) 105 Mbps download, and based off of my previous experience with Comcast (since they don't list upload speeds), anywhere from 10 to 25 Mbps Upload. It's actually been proven America pays nearly double the price for internet speed than anywhere else in the world, yet nobody seems to care...
Google Fiber offers 1 Gbps download and upload for $70 a month, Comcast gives you up to 105 Mbps and (10 to 25) Mbps upload, and America actually does pay more for internet. Sources:
We have been married over 25 years and our sex life has had it's ups and downs. Recently it seems that I think about sex a lot more than I use to. I seem to anxiously wait to get home from work and want to spend all night/every night in bed with my SO. However, he doesn't seem as anxious and would appear to be content with once or twice a week. He claims that it is due to age. I don't doubt his love for me but I get the feeling that I don't excite him anymore. (I recently learned via reddit that he PMO secretly for the past years but won't admit it to me). I am beginning to question our relationship. Surely I am not the only female with such a dilemma. Does anyone have any advise/suggestions?
My sex drive is increasing and his is either same or decreasing. He blames it on age. It is making me question his desire for me and our relationship.
Oh snap. I used to work at a cell phone wholesale company and we would go to the stores that have an account on a once a week basis. There's this gas station that buys cell phones from us and my coworker visits them every week. One day he was visiting that gas station and saw a customer(we'll call him B) fueling gas in a hurry. Once B was done pumping, he got back into his black SUV and happened to drop something on the floor. B didn't notice and just drove off. My coworker and the gas station owner were both outside when they witnessed something drop. They went to go see what B dropped and its a wad of cash! $1500 in $20-$100 bills. The gas owner said that they wouldn't be able to pocket the money unless the money is unclaimed. So he kept the money in a safe place and waited to see if B comes back for it. The next following day, a white escalade comes in but it's B who dropped the wad of cash! He goes in the store and asks for the owner and the owner comes out. B then asks if the owner happened to find anything the day before. The owner then asks B what exactly B was missing. B starts to mumble words out but then just says "fuck it," and then walks out the store, never to be seen again. The gas station kept his word and split the money with my coworker.
Dude drops $1500 at gas station. My ex coworker and gas station owner find it. Dude who lost it comes back but gives up. Ex coworker and gas station owner win.
Hey reddit, I need some legal / unemployment advice regarding the situation I'm in. Let's start 5 weeks ago. I was currently at Company A and received went on an interview at Company B. 4 weeks ago I got a offered a job to start June 10th. They email be their employee handbook and employment information to fill out (the normal employment stuff, medical, 401k) I fill it all out and send back. Since at the time everything sounds on the up-and-up I put my 2 weeks in at Company A. So while burning some of my leftover personal time Company B sends me out to get various vaccinations (its a job in the medical field) of which they paid for. I didn't pay a dime. Since I haven't had a vacation in awhile I decided to give myself a 2 week gap between jobs, I also go to school part time so it was a chance to catch up. So fast forward to today, mind you this morning I had the notion I'm starting a job Monday June 20th. I just got off the phone with a hiring manager and the position I was offered and accepted over a month ago may not be available in the next day or so. What is my recourse? Should I be calling unemployment in prep for not having a job? Am I guaranteed approval considering I quit my last job expecting a new one? I live in the United States, PA.
I was offered a new job, quit my old one and now may be jobless since the new one may take the offer away due to an unknown reason.
When I was 16 years old I started a long distance relationship with a guy across the globe. He was in England and I'm in Canada. I had a good friend, whom, at the time, had a massive crush on me. We're both girls, and while I did somewhat like her I was set on the guy that I had decided to date. For weeks she was angry with me because her attempts at breaking him and I up had failed. She caused a lot of drama, I had other girls approaching me asking about it because she started bitching to them and I eventually got fed up with it. I tried repairing our friendship by spending time with her at school but it failed. One day, I had finally had enough. She was going off on a tangent about how my boyfriend wasn't good enough for me, yadda yadda. I took one look at her, rage built up inside, I raised my fist and took a swing at her. At the last second, I pulled away and punched a metal door right next to me. Everyone in the hallway just stopped what they were doing and a couple girls had jumped from being startled. I went to the hospital and got X-rays done, apparently I had crushed the nerves in my hand from it.
friend tried to break me up with my boyfriend, I got angry and slammed my fist into a metal door, crushed my nerves in my hand
My boyfriend has an addictive personality. Unfortunately he's also, I don't know, a borderline alcoholic? It became an problem maybe a year into our relationship, and since then we've had a few talks about how it is an issue for me (and for his health...). He has promised to do better. He's made plans that he sticks to usually for a good while. The problem is still there, though, under the surface and occasionally rears its ugly head. The latest time? At thanksgiving. Oi vey. It was also the first time he met my extended family. Aaaaaaand he got wasted. I was so disappointed. On an unrelated note my cousin picked a fight with him. Not because my boyfriend was drunk (or for any good reason), but it happened. It caused a huge fucking scene. And my boyfriend, in his drunken state was completely unable to handle the situation with even a modicum of grace. I mean, I don't blame him for the fight in the first place, but he was way too drunk to be able to mitigate it at all. Would it have been any different if he weren't so drunk? Maybe. Possibly. I guess there's no point in hypotheticals. It resulting fall-out would have been way less embarrassing though, that's for sure. I love him. We live together. He is always there for me. If it weren't for this we'd be pretty fucking solid. He feels like fucking shit over what happened at thanksgiving, and frankly, I do too. I've been having a lot of doubts about our future. We did talk about the thanksgiving incident, and he described it as a "wake up call" and again reinstated a plan for not getting too drunk, but he says if he can't stick to it he'll stop drinking. I don't know if I believe the last part. I don't know if I'm staying with him because I'm too chicken shit to break up, because we're living together, because...I don't know. I just have a lot of doubts. Next year I'm most likely going to be moving out of state to go to grad school. With all this I don't know if I want to do long distance. Hell, I don't even know if I want to do short distance. Ack, I just don't know. I guess in posting this I just want an outside perspective. I can't talk about this with my family or friends. So here I am.
Boyfriend drinks too much. Got embarrassingly wasted at thanksgiving when he met my extended family for the first time. He makes plans for controlling himself, sticks to them for a while. I have doubts about our future. Want perspective.
My 27 year old boyfriend of 3 yrs is going nowhere...no job for the past 7 years, a degree in liberal arts and literally has no idea what he wants to do in life. Basically he wants to skate by at any job he can find and then spend money and time playing videogames. He stayed up until 3 am playing videogames like he does almost every night (the computer is in my bedroom so I think it's very inconsiderate). First thing he does when he gets home is race to the computer and sometimes he'll even try to get there before I can get on it if I need to for work or for actual important stuff...he thinks he's just being funny but he is getting very possesive. I am out of work at the time too and I know how hard it is, especially for someone in his situation...but I have a lot of ambition. I have a clear picture of what I want in terms of work...life etc. I like going out with people and doing stuff...he's very antisocial and rants about everything that he hates all the time. I do love him, very much and when times are good, they're great. We haven't officially moved in together yet (staying at his parents house until we can get jobs / afford to move out) but I worry that we won't be compatible for many other reasons. Snoring, he eats junk / fast food...so many things worry me but I don't know what to do.
Boyfriend plays videogames at ungodly hours, has no interest in having a meaningful career and is overall hard to deal with at times...is there a way to motivate him to change or am I better off with a clean slate?
Holy WOT. to answer your title, don't go to college until you have a reason to go other than that it's the next expected educational step. Too many people spend the first couple years messing around, wasting money and time and swapping majors every semester because their own personality is changing almost monthly. What you think is cool at 17 is not likely to be what you will have a burning desire to do when you're 25. In the meantime, go learn a trade. That way you'll always have something practical to fall back on to pay the bills when your degree in international comparative politics doesn't land you that dream job.
not until you've grown up enough to know who you are, which, at 17, is not likely. Go learn a trade/join the military until you sort yourself out, probably around age 25.
When i was little I was stung by a bee and had an allergic reaction to it. My mom is deathly allergic so I went right to the hospital. They gave me a shot if cortisone and I had a reaction to that as well. I went home and had woken up the next morning and started to have some crazy vivid hallucinations that I remember to this day. I woke up seeing multi colored bugs crawling all over the bed. I grabbed the biggest book I had, which was a Where's Waldo book, and handed one to my brother and told him to start smashing all the bug. Needless to say, he was a little confused and scared shitless that I was absolutely nuts. I ran down my stairs to the bottom floor. We had this blanket that separated the top floor from the rest of the house and I actually ran, grabbed it, and swung halfway down the steps and managed not to kill myself in the process. My dad was sitting down having his morning coffee when he saw me going nuts. He grabbed me and say down and held me so I couldn't move and my mom called the doctor. I think I passed out because that's where this memory ends. I'm 30 now and this was probably when I was 5-6 years old. When I went to the doctor for more tests, they took blood and the tests initially came back that I had leukemia. My parents were beside themselves because they had been through so much with me already, health wise. I was born in 1984 and I was 3.5 months premature. The doctors told them I would be deaf, dumb, blind, handicapped, and dead by 2. I showed them!! Anyways, they said I had leukemia but they did more and more tests and they figured out that I had a rare blood disorder, ITP - Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. It was rare for a kid to have at that time I guess? So I had blood drawn multiple times a week for years. I used to get bruises from everything and the doctors that would see me at the hospital, for some random stupid accident I did, would think I was being abused. It was crazy for a while. I ended up growing out of the ITP after I hit puberty and have not had any symptoms since.
born 3.5 months early- was supposed to die by 2 but didn't. Got stung by a bee, treated by cortisone which caused a wicked psychosomatic auditory hallucination, got rare blood disorder, finally grew out of it and still alive and healthy at 30.
This is more of a lifestyle question, I suppose, but personal finances are definitely part of this.... YOUR THOUGHTS ARE APPRECIATED :D After being desperately broke (food stamps, homeless, etc) but also being "great at the internet," I started a small web consulting company co-founded with my girlfriend. We were amazed at how well we did almost immediately , there was nothing like what we do where we live, so we nearly had the entire local market cornered in a few months. I now work from home (or wherever, it's very flexible work, as long as I meet our deadlines). I work side by side with my lady all day from pretty much anywhere we want (anywhere with internet really). Currently, after expenses, on a good month (which is most months) I'll personally take home ~$3,000/month. That's the whole thing, no medical, no 401k, etc. Now, after being impressed by my work, a larger company made me personally (and not my GF) an offer to hire me for ~$4,000/month. It's technically hourly, not a salary job, so again, that's the whole thing, no medical, no 401k, etc. This would be an "in-house" job, where I'd have to actually show up in an office 9-5 and manage the staff, with a 40 minute commute each way. I'm kind of in awe at my turn of fortunes, and very thankful for those homeless hours I spent learning stuff on reddit :D That said, I don't know what to do now! I have a pretty good thing going right now with my girlfriend and our company, we really like working with each other all day (we have a "jim and pam from the office" thing going). It's a big challenge to get clients and run the business ourselves, because ultimately we're the only ones making sure we get paid, but it's been working thus far. If I were to take this other job, we'd be separated all day, but I'd essentially be getting a 33% pay raise. "In this economy" it's hard to walk away from the security of a regular paycheck of $4,000/month... I guess I would give my GF a greater percentage of our business's profits as I transitioned into this other job, so she would end up making more too, so in a way, both of us have incentives for me to do it... ...but, the lifestyle sacrifice is significant too... Do you have any experience with this? I could use some practical wisdom... Thanks /r/personalfinance
I can stay at a company I built with my GF for $3,000/month + great flexibility, OR take an 9-5 office job for $4,000/month. Thoughts?
This happened yesterday. I was working my normal closing shift at a large retail store. About an hour into work I feel the familiar tummy rumble that could mean only one thing, the Mexican food I ate the night before was about to make a second appearance. Excitedly I make my way to the employee bathroom, no dice, it's occupied. So I head to the public bathroom where there's multiple stalls. Head in and start my business, pull out phone and browse reddit. Then I remember I have my e-cig in my pocket. So I start to puff on it, anyone who has an e-cig knows that the smoke doesn't dissipate like a normal cig. The stall doors only go about 6 feet in the air and then there's a gap to the ceiling. I'm in there for a good 5 minutes making sure the job is completed fully. When I step out there's the loss prevention guy and a manager looking at me. I get pulled into the back office and questioned about what I was doing in the stall. Apparently someone saw the smoke coming from over the stall and went and told a Manager that someone was smoking drugs in the bathroom. I explained to them what I was really doing but they seemed skeptical still. Apparently not only does the idiot customer not know what weed smells like but neither do the schmucks I work with because it clearly didn't smell like skunk in the bathroom. Anyways, they ask to search me and I oblige because I have nothing on me. I come up clean and they reluctantly let me go back to work. I'm not sure if I have a drug test coming but I hope not. I know I'll be under the microscope from for awhile now though.
dropped the Cosby kids off at the pool, got accused of being the biggest idiot on the planet. Sorry for the formatting, I'm on my mobile.
My boyfriend and I were both pretty politically apathetic when we met but were both decided Democrats. In 2015, we both decided that we were going to support a certain Democratic candidate this election cycle and vote for the first time. About three months ago, out of the blue, he started subtly snarking on the candidate we had both planned to support and talking pretty harshly about Democratic positions. He told me he had been listening to certain political pundits recently and had "kind of" changed some of his political/philosophical views. This is not just a minor change anymore such as "oh i decided that maybe I am more conservative on x economic issue", its a drastic change. He has now gone as far as calling gay people "fascists" (he championed gay marriage before and has gay friends), he constantly rags on feminists without provocation, and will randomly start spewing conservative/libertarian talking points and memes at me while I'm cooking dinner/watching a show like "Bernie Libs can't really seem to comprehend basic economics" or "the free market rules..all socialism is slavery." He was incredibly kind, affirming, and gentle up until this massive change. The breaking point for me was two days ago when he tried to start a debate with me while we were lounging on the couch Re: transgender bathrooms. I tried to shrug it off and said "I think they should use whatever washroom they feel comfortable in. I can't imagine the hardships they've had to endure." He then snapped back with: "trans people have a borderline fascist agenda now. Political correctness is basically a mental illness." Please keep in mind that I am a very passive, sensitive, and introverted individual. I'm the person who is way too prone to smiling and nodding in order to get along, even if my values are compromised. I never bring up politics around him or say anything that may lead to political discussion. I spent about 20 minutes quietly crying in the bathroom after the transgender incident. I simply do not recognize this person anymore. My once soft-spoken and intellectually curious boyfriend has been replaced by this dogmatic, ultra-opinionated guy who appears hellbent on trying to emulate the pundits he watches online. I am in grad school and the stress of his new found political views is causing me immense anxiety. Anyways, I apologize for the length of this. If anyone has some advice or has been through something similar, I would really appreciate it.
My boyfriend drastically changed his political beliefs overnight and is now in the business of mocking anyone who is "liberal" (including myself) without provocation. I feel trapped and anxiety-ridden with no idea of how to confront this.
For the first 6 months that I had my kitten he could rarely take a successful dump without getting feces on himself followed by walking around getting it all over my house. The explanation was simple. While preparing to drop the deuce he would dig a hole in the center of the litter box (presumably marking the X, so to speak), however rather than positioning himself so that the poop fell into the center hole, he would stand in the center of the hole with his butt towards the top of the hole so that the second it hit ground, it would roll down right into the back of his legs, and then he would usually step right into the poop when turning around to bury it. It got to the point where I had to watch him everytime he pooped and would often just have to give him a bath immediately afterwards. I think this is why now, even though he has learned to properly poop, he gets super excited/hyper and runs all around after pooping because he wants to get away from me and the bathtub.
Cat shits at top of dug hole instead of into center, poops roll into hind legs, steps in it, runs around house spreading feces everywhere.
Well umm, as the title says, I just think I'm genuinely in love. I have been with 7 or so girls before and I know I am still young and stuff but I genuinely have never felt like this before. I just helped her through all the stuff with her ex and she helped me through all the stuff with my ex and we began to get close and now we're dating. Anyway, I got really worried because we used to talk all the time before we dated and ever since we have been dating, we have only talked for like an hour each day tops, if that whereas we would spend the whole night calling prior to dating. I just really don't know what to do because I really don't want to lose her because she is my definition of perfect. Last night, I said good night, I love you, sweet dreams, etc and she didn't reply back and I know she had seen the message but simply ignored it and hasn't talked to me since and I'm too afraid to talk to her now because I don't want to seem clingy or anything ;/
I just need your advice. What do you think I should do if I'm worried about the little things? Males or females, I want to hear everyone's thoughts :) Please, read all :) <3
I walk around my neighborhood quite often and there is always one guy I notice and am jealous of. He is always sitting on his porch, starting at about 6:15AM, smoking a pipe, drinking coffee or beer (sometimes both), and reading. Last night, I saw his wife come out and tell him dinner was ready and it was at that moment that I decided retirement is right for me. He also walks his dog a lot throughout the day. He is the man and also some what intimidating since I will have zero balls to talk to him. Do you have people like this in your neighborhood?
Awesome old guy who sits on his porch all day smoking a pipe, drinking beer or coffee, and reading. 6:30 AM - 9:00 PM or too cold (so it seems).
I've been told by quite a few people that I'm easy to talk to and that something about me makes them just want to open up. I've had strangers
their childhood in the course of an hour and tell me some deep emotional stuff going on in their lives. I like to listen, so it's pretty cool.
I have 3 kids. I like to think I'm a progressive parent. Having said that, when my oldest was 13, there is no way that I would allow him to have easy access to porn. I certainly wouldn't tell him the names of the sites that I pull my pud to. Honestly, one of the rites of passage as a teenage boy I feel is the taboo nature of porn; finding it in all of its glory and fapping furiously. My oldest and I have talked about porn, but more in broad strokes (the objectification of women bit) I've never given him a list of porn sites he should go to or anything -- I figure he can find that on his own, and should. I honestly think you are way too lax about it. I fear that if this is a sample of your parenting, you might be raising a future basement-dwelling neckbeard. I dunno... it's not your intention I'm sure... but there is such a thing as too much freedom. Meanwhile, I await the circlejerk submissions that will come of this unfortunate post. I can imagine them now. In my head, they're hilarious. Don't raise a neckbeard... society already has enough.
it's okay to tell your kid that you're fine with him watching porn... but you took it a bit too far and are likely enabling him a bit too much. Pump the brakes.
When I lived in Las Vegas, my brother was a pretty big drug dealer. Exactly 2:00 AM on a Tuesday morning, S.W.A.T. raided our house. My brother and I were the only ones home at the time, and we were both sleeping. They claimed they heard us flushing drugs down the toilet, so they decided to let themselves in. They broke the glass in my brothers room with a crowbar, and threw a flash bang grenade in his room. Well at that time, I had my bed arranged so that the head of my bed was directly at/underneath the window. They also decided to break the glass to my room with a crowbar. The crowbar smashed through my window, right above my head, literally inches above my eyes, obviously waking me up. Whoever was the person behind that crowbar, if they would've put it through the window only a few inches lower, that crowbar would have gone through the top of my skull. I immediately jumped up, not knowing whats going on, and ran outside my room. My brothers room is to my right down the hall, so I immediately think to run to his room (he has guns). I take a couple steps in that direction, and four S.W.A.T officers jump in front of the door from inside his room. One with a shield and flashlight, the three others pointing guns at me yelling at me to lay down. After all that excitement, they obviously raid our house looking for drugs. They found a total of 13 grams of weed between my brother and I.
S.W.A.T spends a shit ton of money raiding my house, almost get killed by a crowbar through the skull, only resulting in them finding 13 grams of weed.
First of all I want to say I am dealing with it totally on my own. I'm trying my best not to bother him with my anxiety or even show signs that I'm insecure (I wouldn't even know how to apporach him with it) and I am not stalking/snooping around or anything of the sort. I don't want to scare him off nor burden him with a problem that clearly comes from me and not from him. When we're together things are amazing, we're having adorable couple moments and I'm loving every second of it. He's super nice with me, (he's one of the kindest person I know), is super affectionate and just plain adorable. He's mentionned me meeting his friends (he wants to organize a small christmas party with them and invited me) and I did, too. He even let out that his step-mother knows my existence (and where I'm from since she's from the same city as me) which I found really cute. :) The messages he sends me are really sweet, we have a great connection, lots of laughs, and great times together. So everything is going well ! But as soon as we're apart (or if it's been a long time since his last text/message) I start getting axious. I'm worried that he thinks I'm boring, not enough, or is plain going to fade out on me or break up with me (even though we've had no arguments or anything of the sort). I'm just extremmely scared of being rejected by him. With time, I'm starting to really like him and get a little attached, and it's making the whole insecurity even harder for me to deal with. I know there's probably no reason for me to freak out like this since everything is going so well and he's being so nice, but it's like I can't control it. I need help coming to terms with my own insecurities. I want to enjoy the beginning of this new relationship without having these fears every time he's not around. Should I talk to him about it? How could I go about it? I really don't want to freak him out, he's been so nice and kind to me.
Even though things are going great when we're together and despite him showing signs of us being serious, I'm constantly worried that he's going to get bored of me and break up with me when he's not around. Wat do?
I know I'm a bit late to this conversation, but here goes. Yes, I do own a Mac, and I do own an iPhone... Many people will downvote me just by that phase alone. But I didn't buy them for the marketing hype alone (although sadly that did have something to do with my decision) I genuinely enjoy the products. Yes, I do agree that there are other products that are FAR superior to the ones I own. But for my purposes, and my personal use, I really do enjoy them. I do agree that Apple fucked up with the new iPhone, being that the antenna doesn't work properly while using it as an actual phone, and they deserve all of the criticism that they are getting. But what most people who despise Apple don't seem willing to listen to is that many Apple customers do agree with the criticisms, but they also enjoy the products, and the customer service that comes with it. I've had many laptops and desktops, and if any of them had a problem, I would have to go out of my own pocket to pay for anything. I recently ruined my harddrive, through my own fault, and Apple replaced it for me free of charge. It's those kinds of things that make me buy apple products even with all of the problems.
I have a macbook, and yes apple is kind of horrible, but the macbook is awesome to me, and its the lesser of the evils.
I recently confessed to this girl I like about a week ago. (You can check my history for the details) We have been hanging out for almost one and a half months before I finally grabbed enough courage to confess. Anyway, now that we're dating, I was just wondering if there was any way I can learn more about her. I've been trying to get her to talk more, but she really prefers listening to me more. I'm also quite worried about scaring or making her feel bored when she's with me. Last night, she gave me a quote and the quote was : "You always had this little way of making the dull and dreary bright and radiant, the ordinary extraordinary, the mundane magic. To you, everything was an adventure. And in your silly, wild presences, I always felt like every moment mattered - like all of life should be cherished." Beau Taplin, The Moment. When I first read that, I honestly thought she was talking about herself, because it was exactly that. Then she said it was actually about me. I was weirded out because I thought I was uninteresting and she was probably the most fun I have ever met. She said the same thing, she thought she was boring and I was interesting. So now, I don't want both of us feeling like that anymore. I was wondering if there was any great tips to always keep the relationship always fun. Sure, going on dates and travelling may sound like great ideas, but I'm broke and we usually just hang out in the car and listen to music and read books. Are there any great ways to make the relationship, or at least the dating part more fun to enjoy? I would love to know. And if there's any tips or advice on how to keep the relationship healthy, that would be great too!
Confessed to a girl, she says I'm fun, I say she's the fun one, we're both disagreeing on how fun we are, looking to change all that, looking also to keep the relationship fun and healthy.
My SO has never been overly into sexual activities but has done them with partners before me. Come along me and of course the trend continues, apparently I'm 'different' and she is a lot more comfortable and relaxed with me meaning she enjoys it as apparently in the past she has not. When it happens it is amazing but it is only ever happening once a month. I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this but I just wanted to know if this happens to any one else? Is there anything I can do to encourage her to be more sexual around me? I obviously don't want to force her to do anything she isnt' comfortable with but at times it makes me question the longevity of our relationship as I feel neglected, not because of sex but as guys will understand (and some girls) that there is a real intimacy in sex for guys that is more than "Oh guys just like sex"
SO is hardly sexual, we don't get up to much. How can I encourage her to be more willing without being pushy-ish? I don't want to force her into anything she doesn't want to do.
I am on moblie, so sorry for any spelling/formatting issues. I am currently in collage in a diferent city than he lives, but the way my quarters are set up, I come back for a visit every 3 months or so. We had been together for a year before I decided to go away for school and we came to an agreement that it would be alright. I have built all of my plans around us being together, and while I am not the weepy type, more of the 'cram all of my feelings down so far that I can pretend I am a robot' type, I can't help but feel a little lost. I have spent my entire adult life up to this point with one person and now that its over I don't know what is next for me. Things are made more complicated by the fact that my bestfriend is his room mate, and their house is the center of activity for my whole group of friends. (The fact that we all hang out in that house is independent of him or I, many of us have lived there before and will probably continue to rotate in and out of it) So I feel uncomfortable and isolated from everything and everyone. He broke it off without any drama, I am still unclear on the exact reason but I don't want to really push the matter any further. He says he still wants to be friends, and so far I have tried to at least be civil just so that things aren't awkward infront of everyone else. Is it fair of him to ask me to still be friends? I haven't let on how much I am hurting to anyone because it would just cause a bunch of tension and drama that I don't want to deal with. I guess I am just looking for an outside perspective. *
Ex and bestfriend are roommates making me feel like I need to pretend that I am not hurting, feeling isolated because their house is the center of activity, and I don't know what the future is going to look like now that we are no longer together.
Background information: My fiance's dad has become really sick and can no longer take care of their cat. Unfortunately her roommate is allergic to cats, and so is everyone in my family, therefore I am the only option left for this cat. I rent an apartment closer to my school but usually leave Friday afternoon and don't come back till Sunday evening. Is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for those two days or will this be harmful to the cat? I will be at the apartment for the other 5 days of the week, but just won't be there for 48 hours. Should I get two water and food bowls for the weekend?
Adopting a cat, is it okay for me to leave enough food and water out for two days or will this be harmful to the cat?
Like most of these posts this didn't happen today. It was back in February and I was in my art class doodling some stupid drawing where I asked if j could go to the bathroom, the teacher said yes so I leave. I go to the bathroom, do my thing, when suddenly, an absolutely beautiful idea pops into my head. Why not say "Hail Hitler" whilst walking back into the classroom. Before I can continue, I need to describe my setup of a bit of my school. There's my classroom that borders a forum (which is pretty much an open space for group projects) and the forum shares a wall with the English room that is across from the bathrooms. After I walk back from the bathroom there's a few kids working on various projects with one teacher supervising them along with three other teachers in the English room, which is empty one period each day and is used as a "break room" for teacher's to plan their lessons. I walk pass the room and the forum towards my room where my friend opens the door and I say "Hail Hitler" as a greet. Now, I though that I said this under my breath but I guess not. About three to five minutes pass by where I hear the door knock and I see my science teacher come in (whom was one of the teachers in the "break room") and comes towards me and starts yelling at me. I try to deny it but she then says that she heard it and so did the teacher in the forum. I got a call home and sent to the office with three days of ISS.
I went to the bathroom during art class and when I came back I greeted my friend with "Hail Hitler" which resulted in me getting a phone call home and three days of ISS
So today I got an e-mail from my teacher denying an extension I had asked for 36 hours before the assignment was due. My girlfriends mother died on June 20th, and I had to be there for her and her family for obvious reasons. I emailed my professor the first day I was back at my computer, June 23rd, at around 5:30 P.M. explaining what had happened and asking if I could get an extension without a reduction in points on this assignment because of it. This is an online class, so we never see the professor, and I've heard she was horrible at answering email so I gave her what I considered a pretty fair amount of time to email me back before the assignment was due at 11:59 PM on June 24th. I had no response by June 28th, so I emailed her again asking if she had received my email and to please let me know if I was granted the extension so I knew whether I could begin work on the assignment or not. I finally got a reply 9 hours later telling me that I had one more documentary review (the assignment type in question) I could complete before the end of the semester. This did not tell me whether the extension was granted or not, so I emailed her back that same night asking for clarification whether she was or was not giving me the extension. She told me she was not. My question is, is there anything I can do now to possibly get an extension or at least have the grade waived from the gradebook by talking to a dean? When it's pretty much an immediate family emergency shouldnt a professor HAVE to allow the student to make it up, or is it all up to the professor?
professor didn't grant extension after I explained I was busy caring after my girlfriend whose mother had died, do I have anything else I can do or do I have to just deal with it? Thanks in advance.
Hi everybody, I am looking for some advice on the following situation: I played a show with my band last Saturday, around 1hr away from where I live. Afterwards I met a girl who was there with her sister, and we had a really good time talking (the three of us). They invited me to drinks twice, and we kept hanging out for like 2-3 hours. I felt confident about everything and decided to go for it with one of them, who is called Julia. So I asked her if she would like to come with me to my Hotel. She declined (though smiling), and told me that instead she will drive home together with her sister. I didn't mind, I even offered her sister to come along too and they could have the queen sized bed in the room while I would take the single bed (no intentions from me on this part really, I was actually being nice) - since they had issues going home from this festival like area. They declined that aswell, so I just asked Julia for her number which she gave me. We talked a few minutes more until I had to leave and they were about to leave too, so I hugged them both goodbye and went to the Hotel. I messaged her the next morning and we texted over the whole day, even for a consequitive 1.5hours straight in the evening. I like her, so I dropped a few hints already on that matter and also joked about meeting up soon, since she asked when I will be playing near her place again - which would still be like 2 months away though. I'm kinda stuck here. I was wondering if I should play it "slow" by first calling her maybe 1-2 times before asking her out on a date, or if I should ask right away. Also she lives like a 1 hour drive away, so just meeting up for a cup of coffee is a little weird. But meeting up with the intention to stay overnight at first date also seems over the top for me. Should I ask for a date, but tell her to spend like a whole day together and even say upfront that I would propably drive back in the evening? Or just ask for a date and go for it, not saying anything about the sleepover situation? I don't want her to feel pressured if I don't mention the sleeping situation, since I'm worried that she might decline if I don't say anything on this part. Like me having the intention to sleep over right away and get her laid or something and use the 1hour drive as an excuse. //////
Would you ask a girl (you just met 2 days ago) that lives like 1hour away from you out on a date right away or first get to know her better by having a few phone calls first?
Okay so I have a group chat which has several of my friends in it. We talk about anything and we would sometimes text each other our homework because we have a lot of the same classes just at different times (after or before lunch). We knew that just copying the homework verbatim would make the professor suspicious, so we would slightly change it around and even get a few wrong to prove our honesty. On some test days, if a few friends were feeling lucky, we got a picture of the test. We would find the answers at lunch and be ready for the test immediately after lunch. Actual events on test day : I received a text at around 11, this was a copy of the front side of a test with no answers. I had worked on the answers during my off period and ignored my phone until lunch. I remembered that there was a test review homework assigned from the last night. If I hadn't forgot to write it down I would of gladly done the 20 problems or so my self, but no. I looked through the group chat to find a sheet of binder paper scribbled with physics answers I found one but it didn't have the assignment number or questions on it, at this time it was 12:45 and my class started at 1 so I didn't think much of the lack of detail. I had copied the "homework" successfully with a few minutes to spare. I went to the class and got out my homework to have it looked over by the teacher. ( In the class we turn in our homework to a tray at the front and we would start class or the test.) The tests were already on our desks so we could start when told to. I took the test with relative ease, because of my preparations and completed review homework. The tests were left on our desks. The bell had rang and the teacher requested to see me after class. He wanted to ask me about my "homework". My teacher waited until everyone had left the room to take out my homework. It was just the test answers in a different order from the test I reviewed this morning. He wanted to know who this came from but I took the bullet for my group. He didn't believe that it was just me but I wasn't going to expose the group chat. I will be recommended for disciplinary actions in the future.( it will most likely be a few detentions and a strongly worded email home). This was the first time something like this has happened, but my face is still red from the ~2 minutes of comments from my teacher.
I thought I was copying the homework from the last night but I was just copying the test answers. Showed my teacher and it didn't click until the "homework" and my test were on his desk.
Guys, this is a really stupid question but I'm conflicted about what to do. I think I just need an outside perspective. Ultimately this is a really trivial thing, but I'd appreciate some advice. Feel free to skip the background if you want. Background I think I need to break up with my boyfriend. I fucking love him to bits but the last few months have been rough and I don't think it makes sense to carry on. He's been away this summer and the long distance has not done us any favors. Now, I've been in a long distance relationship before (with someone else; it ended for unrelated reasons), and I never felt so unloved/neglected then, so I don't know. I know I am capable of long distance. But with my current boyfriend I just feel like a burden to him. I feel like he just wants to put our relationship on hold, not put any effort in while we're apart, and then just come back like nothing has changed. It's called a long distance relationship , not a...long distance pause on the relationship... Anyway, I've expressed this to him. He is sympathetic, I guess, but that's it. I mean, he feels bad that I feel bad, but he will not or cannot change his behavior. The behavior that is making me feel so shitty. We've had multiple talks about it in fact. Just the other day I was feeling really down about the state of things and was thinking about talking to him about it, and I was like, "what's the point?" Nothing I have said in the past has gotten through to him so why will this time be any different. I feel really let down. My partner is not...being a partner. The Issue So he's coming back soon, but gee guess what? Then I leave. I always assumed we'd do the long distance thing, but I really can't emotionally sustain this permanent state of unhappiness with a boyfriend who refuses to meet me halfway. It really sucks. I think we have to break up. I get melancholy looking at all the things I need to pack up out of our apartment. Anyway, we're both going to be here for a week. How the fuck do I break up with him? We share an apartment. Do I wait until for the end of the week and say "hey I can't do this" right before I leave? At least that way we would have one good week together before it all ends. Do I say it as soon as he gets back? Then we would have to spend a week in awkward misery together. I have to admit I've considered just leaving and doing it when I'm gone but that is shitty and cowardly, right? I do love him a lot, but he's just been so unreceptive to my unhappiness. I know there is no painless way to do this. People with more breakup experience than I, what is the best (or...least worst?) way to go about this?
Dreams of surviving long distance have crumbled, but BF and I are going to be in our apartment together for a week before I move halfway across the country. When do I break up with him?
For the next week my boyfriend is under review for being out an extra four days from work that was not approved for his vacation time. He is a grown man and made a choice that he was aware could garner such consequences. We both realized that from the get-go. I think he is a bit shocked that this has turned into the stink it has. Saying "I told you so" is not something I want to say nor have I even considered saying it. I am not here to lecture him. I am here to support him. Nothing has been decided yet. Like I said- his trial is in a week, and in the meantime I am trying not to worry. If the worst happens, though, what are things I can say and do to help him through a loss like this? I wish I could help him financially but I am not in that kind of position yet. Anxiety is added to the equation because this is his career and he has two children to support with his ex. I am in decent spirits today and am making sure to take care of myself. I know I can't be there for him if I am not well.
My boyfriend may be fired from his long-term career and he has two children to support. I cannot help financially and would like advice in case he does lose his job about how I can help.
Your story reminded me of one of my favorite unbelievable good deed stories! I was in the Seychelles (a tiny island nation in the middle of the Indian Ocean) at the airport about to board a flight to Paris to catch a connection back to Beijing (home for me). There's only 1 flight a day back to Paris. Air France told us there had been a delay due to technical problems. When going through security, i had noticed this super pretty blonde girl, but did nothing except sneak a quick glance every now and again (because I didn't want to be weird and I'm a pussy). We all ended up waiting at the airport all day. Just after we were told that the flight had been cancelled (it's night by this point), I heard a commotion and some frustrated yelling by the counter. I look over and it's a group of 5 Chinese tourists who were obviously very distressed, and obviously getting no-where with their attempts to communicate. I went over and said "“ (Friend, what's the problem? Can I help you translate?) He explained to me that he and his friends had lost their luggage and thought it was on the plane. I conveyed this to the French counter-lady and after about 20 minutes of back and forth translation, confirmed that their bags were in fact on the plane, and they were going to get them. They all heaved a sigh of collective relief when I told them. Fast-forward to the lobby of the airport hotel (which was actually really nice) when all the passengers are checking in. I was out of damn smokes and all the stores in the area were closed. The Chinese group came over to me and thanked me profusely for the help i had provided and proceeded to heap a bottle of Hennessey and 2 cartons of smokes on to my bags (I tried to give it back and just take 1 pack of smokes, but they insisted for 5 minutes and eventually I caved). I sat in a chair to have a well-deserved smoke when who should come over? You guessed it, pretty blonde was also out of smokes! She said "May I have cigarette?" in broken English in a damn sexy French accent. You'd be crazy to turn a girl like that down. We got to talking (after a fashion) and it turned out that she was French but living in Sweden. We agreed to meet for a drink by the beach in an hour. Grabbed a shower, a couple glasses and threw some ice into a plastic bag and met her. We got a little tipsy and...lets not get graphic :)
I helped some Chinese tourists find their lost bags and received a bottle of whiskey, cartons of smokes and sex on the beach from a smokin' blonde!
This was inspired by the question of what was the greatest Zombie Apocalypse movie question... What is with all of the Zombie-themed stuff that's been coming up in recent years? [The Walking Dead]( [Shaun of the Dead]( World War Z Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies Hell, even the ammunition manufacturer Hornady is in on the fad: I spoke with my dad, and he said that it all makes perfect sense to him. In his view: He suspects that everyone deep down inside knows that the Industrial Age is over and done, and that we're all now entering the Information Age. We're still stuck with a lot of holdovers from the Industrial Age, such as DMVs, Big Box Retail stores, the idea of good-paying factory jobs, and other organizations and ideas that worked great when information needed to be sent slowly from the ground-level up the chain of command, and then send slowly back down with instructions from on high, but now that model doesn't work anymore today, and things need to change. Our current fascination, to my dad at least, with Zombies, is that all those old institutions are just lumbering about, useless, and effectively the walking dead, who are just biding their time until someone or something puts a bullet in their head to make room for something new He states that something similar happened during the Great Depression when farming suddenly needed a lot fewer people, and we had to switch over to a full manufacturing-based economy. He says that a similar event is happening right now, where we suddenly need fewer people for manufacturing, as well as a whole host of other services, and our whole world-view will have to radically change. My dad has stated that it began with Night of the Living Dead back in the late 1960s and people knew things were changing, and today has reached a critical mass with change happening so quickly that its hard to keep up with it. Anyone else have any thoughts?
My dad thinks that the current fad of Zombie fiction represents something more, about how our entire world is in the midst of massive change, and I'm wondering if he might be on to something...
My boyfriend and I created a Tinder account about 2 years ago when we first heard of tinder just for a laugh and to see what it was like. Friends in our town started to talk and thought he was cheating so we deleted the app (the account was connected to his Facebook). I can't remember if we deleted the account. Recently, I've been told that someone has come across him on there so I downloaded the app and logged in through his Facebook and it shows that he has a new match from only a week ago. When I confronted him he denies going on there and says he has no idea what that's about and that he hasn't been on there since we were on there. Does his profile appear to others even when he's not active? Last active being almost 2 years ago so could someone from back then match with him now when he doesn't use it? I also have access to his phone whenever I want and I haven't seen the tinder app on there but has he recently downloaded it and deleted it without my knowledge? Or am I being stupid? We are getting married in a month!!!
boyfriend denies being on tinder even though he got a match a week ago, is he lying? Or does tinder still show your profile even when your not active?
I am 21, single right now but have been in a relationship 2 years back. Strictly from a sexual standpoint, I am attracted exclusively to women. That is certain beyond the shadow of doubt; trust me on this. . However, on an emotional level, I sometimes feel attracted to men. Not random men mind you, but just friends of mine or guys I see/meet everyday. And also sometimes characters in romantic comedy films that I love to watch. . I do understand what a feeling of brotherly bonding with friends can be like, and I am sure this is more than that. Right now I'm just a bit perplex what to make of it. While I am sexually attracted to women, sometimes I'd much rather hang out, spend time with guys than girls. And there are some guys I feel emotionally attached to, a bit too much. I would go far as to say that I have sort of a crush (100% emotional, 0% sexual) on a guy right now. . What would you make of all this? .
I am a heterosexual 21M who feels emotionally drawn towards men, sometimes nearing a romantic level. I am confused about this situation, help me figure this out.
I worked as a assistant manager at a movie theater. Pretty cool job free movies relatively easy. Well since I was a manager I influenced who got hired so I got my friend Dwayne a job, now Dwayne wasn't smart by any means but I figured he could handle sweeping the theatres. He did for the most part for the first month, but one day we were slammed for a weekday and I needed someone to run the boxoffice and I thought hey I have trained Dwayne in the boxoffice before he can handle this. Well 10 minutes in Dwayne has me in there every other minute fixing something his big dumb hands had broken or couldn't figure out. So finally he calls me in there when there was this older couple waiting for there ticket which he had jammed and the computer wouldn't recognize it as a sale since it didn't shoot out the ticket hole. I couldint get it to respond and there was a line forming so I said just let them in free. So I go up in the projector booth for about 45 min and pleasantly surprised Dwayne hadn't paged me for anything so im pretty happy and the set was pretty much over, so go in the boxoffice to thank Dwayne for doing such a good job and with the goofiest looking grin he says he was so glad he was the one that got to tell all the customers over the almost hour period they got to go in free, I was so pissed because it was a big deal to let someone in free at this theatre that was not owned by a chain but by a very cheap man. I asked him please tell me you didn't ring these people up? He responds yea the machine and the computer worked perfectly from that point on. The owner demoted me to floor staff and Dwayne quit a week later.
I Got a friend hired at the Theater I worked at. Friend thought I told him to give free tickets to everyone. I got demoted, he quit.
I met this girl last week and we really hit it off. After a movie night and a lunch date, I thought things were good. We enjoyed eachothers company. Last night she went to a party and at about 3 in the morning texted me saying she needed a ride from the party and that she didn't mind coming to my house. So I went and picked her up and came home, we hung out for a short while and she was pretty drunk. We decided to smoke a bit of weed and head to bed After 30 mins or so we were both pretty stoned, and I suggested that we go to bed and we laid there for awhile.. I didn't really notice anything was wrong. I attempted to initate some foreplay but I noticed she just wasn't doing anything. She said that she didn't feel good, but said it in a way that sorta came off as her being mad about something. She said she wanted to go home. Well, I was too high to take her home. I told her if she would give me about 30 minutes I would gladly take her, but she didn't even want to wait that long. She called her roommate and had her pick her up. I haven't heard from her sense. She won't reply to texts or anything, I have no idea wtf happened. What should I do? Should I continue to try to make communication with her? Should I even worry?
Girl left in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason and now refuses to talk to me at all. IDK what to do.
Got a call at 3 am from the police saying there was a break-in, but nothing was taken. Come back to the house to find our cat, that we put in the basement when we left, at the top of the stairs near the entrance to the house. Nothing was taken or broken. Only explanation is the cat opened the door. set off the motion detector. The police probably came and scared the crap out of our cat.
Put cat in basement before going on vacation. Cat opened door like a velociraptor. Set off motion detector. Police came and scared crap out of the cat.
I'd like to apologize in advance for what I feel to be an ambiguous title and the lengthy post (I hope that there isn't too much back story but I feel that it's relevant). To just get down to the point, I am 24 years old and I am at a cross road in my life where I have need to do something that is very meaningful to me but feel that I am too late or lack the passion to be successful. (In regards to this dilemma I also have trouble defining what success means to me.) Background: When I was little I loved to draw but it isn't something that I have done in I couldn't tell you how long. I was never really encouraged by anyone to continue doing it and things sort of fizzled with it. I don't know if that is because of a lack of love for it or no one supporting me. The reason that I am hesitant to start again is because I feel that I am so late into the game and being very competitive I feel that I this is both a driving force to start now a to just never try. Programming on the other hand is something that I always felt interesting. I feel that I am logical to a fault and the type of thinking that is accompanied by programming is something that comes natural to me. I have taught myself the basics of several languages but that push that you need to give yourself to just man up and work through the hard parts is something that I couldn't bring myself to do. This is also a much more lucrative option.
For anyone who has gone through this sort of decision where you need to make a hard to decision, I would love to hear things that were learned from trying to understand yourself more.
I was hiking a popular fairly crowded trail with some friends and this family was hiking at about the same pace as us. This probably 8-yo kid wrapped up in his little fantasy world makes various hilarious statements throughout the hike. Finally at one point he announces very melodramatically "Dad, there's only ONE person on this hike who hasn't slipped, tripped, or LOST A LIMB, and that's me!" My friends and I cracked up, and ever since then when we hang out we're constantly saying things like "there's only one person in this kitchen who hasn't had a beer, cut up a carrot, or LOST A LIMB -- and that's me!"
As this one kid would say: There's only one Redditor who hasn't posted a gif, said "for science," or LOST A LIMB -- and that's me!
I work in a job where I work exclusively with the same person, five days a week, 9+ hours a day. My partner and I hit it off right away, we were paired up about three months ago and instantly fell into an easy friendship. We have similar humour, similar personalities, and it was perfect. I'm single- I decided to take a year (11 months ago) to get my head on straight and figure out what I wanted. I knew I couldn't do that with a relationship to think about. He has a girlfriend. Their relationship is starting to fizzle out, but he has a girlfriend nonetheless. I guess our coworkers began to notice that we got along super well, and started cracking jokes about us hooking up at work, and how we would be a couple if he didn't have a girlfriend. My supervisor [35 ish F] was starting most of these jokes, and it began to make me uncomfortable. Was/is there a bit of sexual tension? Sure. Would I ever act on it? No, and certainly not with another girl in the picture. We were never blatantly flirty either. I told my partner this was making me uncomfortable, and I had a very brief, direct conversation with my supervisor where I clarified that my male coworker and I were friends, nothing more, and understood that it was in good fun, but based on our relationship it made me uncomfortable. This is where it went to shit. As soon as I told him I had put a stop to it, and left him out of any blame (I thought he would be happy about this) he immediately became curt with me, and basically started acting like a huge dick. I called him out on it more than once, and he denied being shitty with me, and continued. I mentioned going on a date this coming week (something he's been encouraging) and he got even more uptight. We haven't spoken in two days, as I've been off, and he won't tell me what's wrong. Can anybody give me some advice? EDIT woah, I should have been more clear. I did not complain about him. I mentioned to him the jokes our superior was making and he agreed it was inappropriate. I spoke to my supervisor about HER being inappropriate, not him. We were on the same page. I never complained about his behaviour.
my male coworker got mad at me when I told our superior that we were nothing more than friends. Now he's treating me like shit and I don't know what I did wrong.
I can take a stab at this. It has to do with the difference between how it's presented. One is a provate company, which advertises as a place to go to see girls wearing tight tops. You usually won't find anyone working there that has mega-tits, because that would be scandelous, and hooters is a "family resturaunt". Their image is sexy girls, but a family atmosphere never the less. The last part, that it's a family atmosphere, is mega-important in the USA. Because there are so many uber-conservative groups that would have a field day if they discovered something that was bad for the children, or immoral, Hooters can remain safe by being a family establishment. The superbowl is a family affair, broadcast on public television, and regulated by the FCC. It's the epitome of family friendly. Sure there's vulgarities like Family Guy or American Dad, which makes my friends' conservative christian mom frown, but that's about the worst of it. And then, the government put a nipple - read:porn - onto our beloved superbowl. That was worse than hooters, because while hooters can be seen as a guilty pleasure, it's still family-friendly. There's nothing good or moral about porn. So every single conservative/family values group had a field day with it.
Hooters is a guilty pleasure that retains family values. The nipple slip violated family values. Family values groups don't like non-family values on their public access TV.
Hey all, I need some advice. Some background-my boyfriend and I go to college together, and we have been dating for almost 2 years. We are very much happy and in love, but he seems to have different standards about kissing other people than me. Last night we were at a party with a bunch of mutual friends, and about halfway through I look over and see my boyfriend and Bryan (the gay friend) embracing and hugging in a very intimate way. Then Bryan goes in for a kiss, and my bf reciprocates and kisses him back for 3 seconds or so. A bit of background on Bryan- he has been a mutual friend of ours for about a year. He is a great friend and very fun to be around, but when he gets drunk he is very handsy and will hit on almost any man in sight. However; recently a lot of his advances have been centered on my boyfriend. Bf has told me about these advances in the past, but I had never given it much of a thought until now. This is because I assumed that my bf would immediately turn Bryan down when he tried to make a move. I just found out last night that apparently this is not the case. We had a big fight about it, and my boyfriend refuses to acknowledge that he has done anything wrong. He says that the kiss meant nothing, and that it was merely a way of letting Bryan down nicely (after the kiss he told Bryan that he was not interested in him like that). I think that by kissing Bryan back he was leading him on, and that this will likely encourage Bryan to try it again in the future. My bf says the only thing that matters in this situation is his intentions- that he only ever meant to let him down easily. I think his actions matter more than his intentions, and that kissing someone else is not acceptable no matter the intentions. So reddit, what do you think? Am I overreacting? Are intentions really more important than actions? Any advice is greatly appreciated
A mutual gay friend kissed my boyfriend at a party, bf kissed him back. I am not ok with this, bf thinks it is not a problem.
I can confirm. Plan to get out of any call center within 6 months whether you quit, find something better, or are fired. I went into a phone tech support job. We had 6 weeks of training and material to go through. I quit 1 month or so after that. It is a very lonely existence. You are talking to angry, frustrated, upset people and assholes all day long. You get insane quotas for your call time, and if you have to send a tech out then kiss your Call time average goodbye to jump through all kinds of supervisor approvals. The ones in the quota for handle time are usually there because they transfer customers at any given opportunity. Often to the wrong department. Had one customer who had been bounced around for over 5 hours from department to department with no one investigating what the actual fuck was going on the entire time. It was a 3rd party antivirus provided by the internet service provider. basically they would connect to us, we would transfer to the 3rd party provider and they would transfer them to billing, billing would transfer them to us. I Called the third party company and found out they have no record of a subscription, but our system and billing confirm they do. I got billing on the phone and he had no idea what to do. I told him to either get a supervisor or an apporval to delete the customer subscription, give them a credit for their already paid service, and start the subscription over. It took 10 minutes for anyone to actually take a look, but everyone is so worried about their damn handle time and trying to keep that quota so they dont get fired that no one questions why someone has been transferred everywhere all day multiple times for no reason. Every employee has nothing good to say. The pay is half of what it should be to deal with that kind of shit, and even then I still would have quit.
Only shitty assholes thrive in the call center environment, no one has a good day there, and if you have a history of depression then I highly suggest you dont even attempt call center.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over 8 months, as I said above. But despite how long we've been together, she refuses to do almost anything sexual (due to her being a virgin and uncomfortable with things, I think). This is extraordinarily frustrating to me, because I'm just a sexual person. I like sex. In all my past long term relationships, sex has been in it. But all of my advances are shut down. And if I keep trying to initiate something further than that, it feels like rape, and that's really not okay. I've tried talking to her about it, but anytime I do, it ends with her crying and saying things like, "I'm a bad girlfriend" "I wish I was better for you" and that just makes me feel like a scumbag for even bringing it up. HELL, I didn't say anything to anybody because it makes me feel like a scumbag. Now, I'm just getting frustrated and fed up and I feel like just breaking up with her to find somebody that will be involved with me physically. This is where the problem comes in. She's the best girlfriend I've ever had, other than this sexual problem. I love her a lot, she's sweet, kind, thoughtful, she's an artist and makes me a lot of paintings and drawings, she likes poems and romance. I love her as a person, but I'm a guy and I have needs, and she apparently has none. I feel bad for having a penis and wanting it to be touched now. I don't think that's very healthy... So I masturbate a lot, I look at other girls a lot, I'm sexually frustrated a lot. And I don't know how to get my relationship to a point where that's no longer a problem. How can I make this work without thinking about cheating or touching myself everyday?
My girlfriend doesn't want to do anything sexual, but I do. I love her a lot, but it's to the point that I feel bad for having desires. What do I do?
I have moved back home from college and have a job doing outdoorsy things and I have a work partner [25F] who happens to be interested in a lot of the same things that I am. Aside from my GF, I don't really have a lot of friends around here (like none). I spend a lot of time with my co-worker at work and we are good friends at work and talk about pretty much everything (which is what I might see as a sign of a great friend). She has a BF who is also super cool and into outdoors stuff, who I have met several times and liked. The problem here is that they invite me to do all sorts of fun stuff, but my GF has a problem with me being around my co-worker at all (with or without the BF present), while my co-worker just wants to be friends with my GF and me. What's worse is instead of all of us just hanging out and my girlfriend learning that there is nothing to worry about, it seems that she instead just refuses to acknowledge people trying to be friends with her, and is stewing in her stubbornness. What gives? How can I convince my GF that my co-worker isn't trying to steal me away, and that I actually just want a friend? note: I have talked to my GF about this and she seems to say that she doesn't have a problem with the co-worker, but boy do actions speak louder than words. I've only gotten her to come on one hike with the group despite months of invitations from my co-worker and her BF.
Have co-worker who wants to be friends outside of work. Even though co-worker has BF, my GF is still super jealous and doesn't like that I want hang out with my co-worker and her BF, and doesn't want to hang out with them either.
For crying and being a bit short with her. I was in more pain than a simple needle prick, and 12-13 year old me was more than capable of basic human decency. I'm saying the choice to piss himself was retaliatory towards the people vaccinating the child.
from that last one... Broken arm, walk around 15 minutes to get a pass to the nurses' office, go cry and snap at nurse when my mom is 20 minutes away, come back next day and apologize for snapping at her.
I'm 20, 21 tomorrow and this is the first time I'm writing anything on reddit. Read a bit on here before, like it, but never posted. Here goes. There is once again a girl in my life that I treasure and like a lot. We first met when I was 16 back in school, and I've also liked her then. She had a boyfriend, so we did some rather normal friend stuff together, but I always enjoyed it a lot more than I did with others. I slowly vanished from her life after school - that was my decision! I believe I already liked her too much back then, never told her and it wouldn't have gone anywhere as she had a boyfriend already, so I didn't want myself to get hurt over it. Recently, we messaged on ICQ again and did some stuff together in December. I also spent New Years at her place with a few friends and it was absolutely wonderful. We also started texting each other basically every day. And another thing: she's single now. And I think I'm in love. I'd like to describe her: she's beautiful, cute, nice. She has the most wonderful smile I've ever seen. She's caring, fun, spontaneous. Those are just a few words I can think of, when I'd rather not describe with words. But how else, right? I'm having the best times of my life whenever I am with her. She is the person I'd love to spend my life with. The problem? I'm afraid. I never had a girlfriend and am therefore not experienced at all. I want to tell her how I feel, and also promised her to tell her why I basically "left" her back then (which is pretty much the same thing in the end, isn't it?). But then I'm afraid of being rejected, afraid of losing her as a friend. I know she wouldn't just stop being friends because I ask her out and she denies, but I have no idea if I can still manage being friends when I'm in love with her and she doesn't return said love. Then again, I also wouldn't want to lose her as a friend if she doesn't, and I doubt she'd like it if I disappeared from her life again. Another thing: I don't really know how I should tell her about my feelings. As I said, never done it.. What should I do?
In love with a girl I've known for ~4 years, no idea how to tell her, no idea how to react if she doesn't feel the same way.
My mom has gotten back to smoking cigarettes after being off of them for a while. Her logic doesnt make sense. "Dont stand next to the microwave, youll get cancer" Dont be in the sun too long youll get cancer" "Dont microwave the styrofoam youll get cancer" and yet she smokes like a pack a day INSIDE THE HOUSE. Sometimes the smoke gets so bad inside the house I find it hard to breathe but most of the time I just go upstairs or ignore it. Everytime I say anything even romeotely close to her quitting smoking (cause you know lung cancer) she gets EXTREMELY defensive. She starts raising her voice and attacknig me and saying how I dont know what she is going through, or sometimes even turning the blame on me on like how im a disrespectful son (most common response). She would bring up past stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with her quitting smoking. A perfect example would be like just now, which is why im writing this because it is the last straw: We JUST got a new puppy from my girlfriend. My mom wanted it so much and I wanted it too so we decided to keep it. I told her beforehand not to smoke in front of the puppy because it is bad to their health. She said ok. Now just as I am about to go to sleep I go into her room to ask her something and there I see the puppy sleeping on the floor and her smoking a cig watching tv. I got absolutely furious. I told her about the dogs health and how bad it was because at this point the smell of the cigs was strong and the room was a little bit hazy. She tells me to shush and calm down and not to tell my gf. Furious, I grabbed the dog and put him in my room where he is at right now. I told her that the smoke can kill the dog. She then storms into my room, telling me how not to ride my bike anymore (because I ride my bike on the road alot) because it is dangerous and I can get killed by a car. Im sitting here confused on why she would turn the blame around and had nothing to do with the current situation. I wanted to tell her to not spin the situation around to make her seem less of a bad person but that would have just made the situation worse (knowing my mom) so I kept quiet. Is it some sort of psychological problem or manipulation she is playing? what gives? She does this most of the time and I literally CANT WIN. I can have the most logical and clear solution but it is always her way or the highway and her answer is always right because she is mom.
My moms second hand smoke causes problems with me. I cant do anything about it because everything she says is right just because she is MOM.
I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months last week. While we were dating I got a dog. He was around him and helped out (not much) but the dog was for me. We discussed if we broke up he would be my dog and live with me. Last week I decided to end my relationship with him. I had just moved into a new place. I signed the lease but he was added on as a roommate (I wrote it in the roommate area but he never signed any papers) he hadn't paid rent for the month to me either. After we broke up he moved all his things out and left the key. I had blocked him on Facebook after asking him to give me space and last Saturday he showed up unannounced. I had him leave and told him to please leave me alone. He posted on Facebook earlier today "I win, he's mine" I knew he was referring to the dog. I contacted a friend of his who said he indeed had the dog. I immediately contacted my landlord who said he did NOT let him in the house. After back and forth with the police and him the police said he found the front door unlocked (not true I check it a million times) and entered and took the dog because he was his dog too the police said it was civil and I they couldn't just take him back. When I arrived home my front door was open a crack. I called the police again who then sent over two officers. The officers looked at the front door and although there was no damage noted it would have been easy to slide a credit card in and push the door open with the way the lock was. So tonight I am without a dog. The officers said they are contacting the county attorney tomorrow to see what charges can be pressed. They are hoping if they threaten him with charges he will give back the dog. I will do anything to get my dog back. If I have to go to court and sue I will. The dog is microchipped and my name is the only one on there. He has been with me since he was 5 weeks old and all his bed, kennel, toys, etc. are here at my house. What I am wondering is do you thibk the police will be able to get my dog back? He is my life and I need him. Also, they are hoping just to threaten him with charges. I want him charged with burglary and breaking and entering. Any advice on how to go about that? I will be filing for a restraining order as well. I'm just scared worried and miss my dog more than anything so any advice would be appreciated.
ex broke into my house today and stole my dog. Told police front door was unlocked and dog belonged to him as well. How can I get them to press charges and get my dog back.
Met my best buddy in third grade, he brought some WH40K figurines to class one day and was quietly waging a small squad on squad battle in the corner, some kids came up and one of those fucks broke two of the models. I, being the tallest in the entire grade, went over and pushed one of them to the ground after he refused to apologize. The other one sorta just walked away. I sat down with him and asked what the models were and what game they were a part of. He told me about it and i played my first WH40K game in third grade. Later on down the road (5th or so grade) I went over to his house and he happened to have a full army of Space Marines, his older brother had an army of Chaos Space Marines, and their friend had left an army of Tau there. We played a full scale game then. It wasn't until around I bought my own army (Necrons) that we became best of friends. I'm not exactly sure why it happened, it just did. Also, he got me into WoW, which if it weren't for him I'd probably still be a console nut-hugger. (not implying that consoles are bad, people just like to argue that they are better than PC's). We've been best of friends since then, and I still get my Necron army out of the closet and wage battles every so often.
saw a kid playing WH40k in the corner alone, two kids went over to him and one broke two of his models, i went up and asked the kid to say sorry. He said no so I pushed him to the ground
Hey PF, Credit Card So I recently got the Chase Freedom card with the 0%apr for 15 months. Credit Limit: $3500 According to this website, I still have to make minimum payments ($25) every month, but won't be charged interest: My company reimburses me for travel expenses I travel almost every week for work, and use my personal credit cards to get points/cashback on hotel stays, flights, and car rentals until my company reimburses me after approving my expense reports. I have a corporate card, but I don't get points on that, so I am living the /r/churning dream right now. My typical monthly spend can be anywhere from 1-4k depending on client. I also have student loans as of this morning: Loan A: $5,784.34 @5.75% Loan C: $2,856.15 @5.35% Loan E: $2,858.12 @5.35% Loan G: $8,427.41 @ 6.55% Loan H: $12,428.21 @ 6.55% ACS Loan: $6,677.05 @ 6.8% Monthly Income $1,445.50 every two weeks net. 1-3k depending on how much I travel in a given month, the per diem for a given location, and most importantly if I can drive to the client site @ $.50/mile. Expenses Rent+Utilities: ~$350 (I'm never home and live like a dog with a bunch of roommates) Min Student Loan Payment: $523 Food: $150 Before you freak out about my e-fund... I have a 6k efund right now. That's 6 months of personal expenses (incl min student loan payments) right now. I will have this up to 10k by the end of January. Should I feel comfortable at that? Total Available Credit $10,500 The Question So...since I can easily spend up to my $3500 CL on this card each month, is it advisable to use the reimbursements I get for hotel/flights/airlines to pay down the student debt first and then pay back the credit balance after I hit CL on this card?
I have a 0%apr credit card for 15 months. I want to use the reimbursement my company pays for expenses on this card to pay back student loans first. Is this a good idea? Why? Is this a bad idea? Why?
Current relationship is my first real one. I've been seeing my girlfriend for a bit and I have a few questions. First, how am I supposed to be feeling? Even though I've been single until my late 20s I don't feel any different now that I'm in a relationship. I enjoy spending time with her, but I don't feel like shes the "brightest of all stars in the sky" or anything like that. There are even times when I doubt my own feelings for her and I get confused. For background I have not felt any physical attraction or infatuation with anyone since puberty peaked. I assume that these are the same feelings that I hear and see about in songs, books, and movies. Of course I understand that these things get exaggerated in the media but I can't help but wonder at times. Is it normal to not feel these crazy things in a relationship? If it is I would be a lot less confused about things. I was also very unsure of my feelings with last girl I went out with. But when she dumped me I cried to sleep and felt bad for some time, so perhaps I did have feelings without being aware of them. Could this be the case in my current relationship? I don't want to have a break up just to find out. On a related note, in the future how will I know what love is like? How would I know if I love her? Also I feel that we should be more emotionally intimate. But how does this happen? Does it just develop as we know each other for longer periods of time? I just keep my feelings to myself because thats what I've done my entire life and I don't really see any benefit to sharing them with anyone. If I were to share them I think it would sound super forced and awkward. One more issue: I'm an introvert and I find that hanging out with my girlfriend once a week totally fills my social needs. Another way of saying this is that she uses up all my energy for socializing and thus I find myself seeing my friends less often than I did before. How do I fix this? I don't want my friends to feel like I'm dragging myself out and forcing myself to spend time with them.
I am new to relationships and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or do things. Also how to balance my time with friends.
So i've been dating for almost 2 years. She is a great girlfriend, caring, kind, considerate, sexy. The issue we are facing is that she does not get along with my group of friends whatsoever. She is constantly bothered by every single thing they say or whatever plans they make. She calls them dumb, tells me she has no idea what i see in them and tells me they are effecting her life negatively. There is no real way to compromise because she does not have any friends of her own (except one who moved away). I have tried to be reasonable, such as leave early from events and skip out on a bunch of stuff, but even when she agrees to be around them she is miserable the whole time. I like my friends a lot, and even though they are kinda dumb, there has never been a real issue or incident occur that would make her feel so passionately. She has had a history of bad friendships and has had trouble maintaining friendships even through college for one reason or another. I'm not against hanging out with her alone sometimes, but for events like birthdays and parties I'd like to be able to go out without issues, be able to include her and have a good time.
Girlfriend hates my friends, refuses to hang out with them or compromise with me. She has no friends that we can hang out with and I'm unsure on how to proceed with making this work.