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The columbine looked charming in an outstanding skirt that strangely resembled the large lamp shade in the drawing room.

ðə ˈkɑləmbaɪn lʊkt ˈʧɑrmɪŋ ɪn ən ˈaʊtstændɪŋ skɜrt ðæt ˈstreɪndʒli rɪˈzɛmbəld ðə lɑrdʒ læmp ʃeɪd ɪn ðə ˈdrɔɪŋ rum

The clown and pantaloon made themselves white with flour from the cook, and red with rouge from some other domestic, who remained (like all true Christian benefactors) anonymous.

ðə klaʊn ænd pæntəˈluːn meɪd ðəmˈsɛlvz waɪt wɪð flaʊər frəm ðə kʊk, ænd rɛd wɪð ruʒ frəm sʌm ˈʌðər dəˈmɛstɪk, hu rɪˈmeɪnd (laɪk ɔːl truː ˈkrɪstʃən ˈbɛnɪˌfæktərz) əˈnɒnɪməs.

The harlequin, already clad in silver paper out of cigar boxes, was, with difficulty, prevented from smashing the old Victorian lustre chandeliers, that he might cover himself with resplendent crystals.

ðə ˈhɑrləkwɪn, ɔlˈrɛdi klæd ɪn ˈsɪlvər ˈpeɪpər aʊt əv sɪˈɡɑr ˈbɑksəz, wəz, wɪð ˈdɪfɪkəlti, prɪˈvɛntɪd frəm ˈsmæʃɪŋ ði oʊld vɪkˈtɔriən ˈlʌstər ˈʃændəˌlɪrz, ðæt hi ˈmaɪt ˈkəvər hɪmˈsɛlf wɪð rɪˈsplɛndənt ˈkrɪstlz.

In fact he would certainly have done so, had not Ruby unearthed some old pantomime paste jewels she had worn at a fancy dress party as the Queen of Diamonds.

ɪn fækt hi wʊd ˈsɜrtənli hæv dʌn so, hæd nɑt ˈrubɪ ʌnˈɜrθt səm oʊld ˈpæntəˌmaɪm peɪst ˈʤuːəlz ʃi hæd wɔrn æt ə ˈfænsi drɛs ˈpɑɹti æz ðə kwin əv ˈdaɪməndz.

Indeed, her uncle, james Blount, was getting almost out of hand in his excitement; he was like a schoolboy.

ɪnˈdid, hɝ ˈʌŋkəl, ʤeɪmz blaʊnt, wəz ˈɡɛtɪŋ ˈɔlməʊst aʊt əv hænd ɪn hɪz ɪkˈsaɪtmənt; hi wəz laɪk ə ˈskuːlˌbɔɪ.

He put a paper donkey's head unexpectedly on Father Brown, who bore it patiently, and even found some private manner of moving his ears.

hi pʊt ə ˈpeɪpər ˈdɑŋkiz ˈhɛd ˌʌnɪkˈspɛktɪdli ɑn ˈfɑðər braʊn, hu bɔr ɪt ˈpeɪʃəntli, ənd ˈivɪn faʊnd səm ˈpraɪvɪt ˈmænər ʌv ˈmuːvɪŋ hɪz ɪrz.

He even essayed to put the paper donkey's tail to the coat tails of Sir Leopold Fischer.

hiː ˈivən ɛˈseɪd tuː pʊt ðə ˈpeɪpər ˈdɒŋkiz ˈteɪl tuː ðə koʊt ˈteɪlz əv sɜr ˈliːpoʊld ˈfɪʃər.

This, however, was frowned down. "Uncle is too absurd," cried Ruby to Crook, round whose shoulders she had seriously placed a string of sausages.

ðɪs, haʊˈɛvər, wəz fraʊnd daʊn. "ˈʌŋkl ɪz tu əbˈsɜrd," kraɪd ˈrubɪ tu krʊk, raʊnd ˈhuz ˈʃoʊldərz ʃi hæd ˈsɪɹiəsli pleɪst ə strɪŋ əv ˈsɔsəʒɪz.

"Why is he so wild?"

waɪ ɪz hiː soʊ waɪld

"He is harlequin to your columbine," said Crook.

"hi ɪz ˈhɑr.lə.kwɪn tu jɔr kɔl.əm.baɪn," sɛd krʊk.

"I am only the clown who makes the old jokes."

aɪ æm ˈoʊnli ðə klaʊn huː meɪks ðə oʊld ʤoʊks.

Father Brown, though he knew every detail done behind the scenes, and had even evoked applause by his transformation of a pillow into a pantomime baby, went round to the front and sat among the audience with all the solemn expectation of a child at his first matinee.

ˈfɑðər braʊn, ðoʊ hiː nu ˈɛvɹi ˈditel dʌn bɪˈhaɪnd ðə ˈsinz, ænd hæd ˈivɪn iˈvoʊkt əˈplɔz baɪ hɪz ˌtrænsfɔrˈmeɪʃən əv ə ˈpɪloʊ ˈɪntu ə ˈpæntəmaɪm ˈbeɪbi, wɛnt raʊnd tu ðə frʌnt ænd sæt əˈmʌŋ ðə ˈɔdiəns wɪð ɔːl ðə ˈsɑləm ˌɛkspɛkˈteɪʃən əv ə ˈtʃaɪld æt hɪz ˈfɝst mæˈtɪneɪ.

The pantomime was utterly chaotic, yet not contemptible; there ran through it a rage of improvisation which came chiefly from Crook the clown.

ðə ˈpæn.tə.maɪm wəz ˈʌt.ər.li kəˈɑ.tɪk, jɛt nɑt kənˈtɛmp.tə.bəl; ðɛr ræn θru ɪt ə reɪʤ əv ɪm.prə.vaɪˈzeɪ.ʃən wɪʧ keɪm ˈʧif.li frʌm krʊk ðə klaʊn.

Commonly he was a clever man, and he was inspired tonight with a wild omniscience, a folly wiser than the world, that which comes to a young man who has seen for an instant a particular expression on a particular face.

ˈkɑmənli hi wəz ə ˈklɛvər ˈmæn, ænd hi wəz ɪnˈspaɪɹd təˈnaɪt wɪθ ə waɪld ˌɑmnɪˈsajəns, ə ˈfɑli ˈwaɪzəɹ ðæn ðə wɜrld, ðæt wɪʧ kʌmz tu ə ˈjʌŋ ˈmæn hu hæz siːn fɔɹ ən ˈɪnstənt ə pərˈtɪkjələr ɪkˈsprɛʃən ɑn ə pərˈtɪkjələr ˈfes.

At abrupt intervals in the outrageous performance he would hurl himself in full costume at the piano and bang out some popular music equally absurd and appropriate.

æt əˈbrʌpt ˈɪntɚvəlz ɪn ðə aʊˈtreɪʤəs pɚˈfɔrməns hi wʊd hɜrl hɪmˈsɛlf ɪn fʊl ˈkɑstjum æt ðə piˈænoʊ ænd bæŋ aʊt səm ˈpɑpjəlɚ ˈmjuzɪk ˈikwəli əbˈsɜrd ænd əˈproʊpriət

The climax of this, as of all else, was the moment when the two front doors at the back of the scene flew open, showing the lovely moonlit garden, but showing more prominently the famous professional guest; the great Florian, dressed up as a policeman.

ðə ˈklaɪˌmæks əv ðɪs, əz əv ɔl ɛls, wəz ðə ˈmoʊmənt wɛn ðə tu frʌnt dɔrz ət ðə bæk əv ðə sin flu oʊpən, ˈʃoʊɪŋ ðə ˈlʌvli ˈmunlɪt ˈɡɑrdən, bət ˈʃoʊɪŋ mɔr ˈprɑmɪnəntli ðə ˈfeɪməs prəˈfɛʃənl ɡɛst; ðə ˈɡreɪt ˈflɔriən, drɛst ʌp əz ə ˈpɑlɪsˌmæn.

Then it was that the strange actor gave that celebrated imitation of a dead man, of which the fame still lingers round Putney.

ðɛn ɪt wəz ðæt ðə streɪndʒ ˈæktər ɡeɪv ðæt ˈsɛləˌbreɪtɪd ˌɪmɪˈteɪʃən ʌv ə dɛd mæn, ʌv ˈwɪʧ ðə feɪm stɪl ˈlɪŋɡərz raʊnd ˈpʌtni.

It was almost impossible to believe that a living person could appear so limp.

ɪt wəz ˈɔlməʊst ɪmˈpɒsəbl̩ tə bɪˈliːv ðət ə ˈlɪvɪŋ ˈpɜːsən kəd əˈpɪə soʊ lɪmp.

The athletic harlequin swung him about like a sack or twisted or tossed him like an Indian club; all the time to the most maddeningly ludicrous tunes from the piano.

ðə əθˈlɛtɪk ˈhɑrəlkwɪn swʌŋ ɪm əˈbaʊt laɪk ə sæk ɔr ˈtwɪstɪd ɔr tɔst ɪm laɪk ən ˈɪndiən klʌb; ɔl ðə taɪm tu ðə moʊst ˈmædənɪŋli ˈludəkrəs ˈtunz frəm ðə piˈæno.

At about this limit of mental anarchy Father Brown's view was obscured altogether; for the City magnate in front of him rose to his full height and thrust his hands savagely into all his pockets.

æt əˈbaʊt ðɪs ˈlɪmɪt əv ˈmɛntəl ˈænərki ˈfɑðər braʊnz vju wəz əbˈskjʊrd ˌɔltoˈɡɛðər, fɔr ðə ˈsɪti ˈmæɡˌneɪt ɪn frʌnt əv ɪm roʊz tuː hɪz fʊl haɪt ænd θrʌst hɪz hændz ˈsævɪdʒli ˈɪntu ɔl hɪz ˈpɑkɪts.

Then he sat down nervously, still fumbling, and then stood up again.

ðɛn hi sæt daʊn ˈnɜrvəsli, stɪl ˈfʌmblɪŋ, ænd ðɛn stʊd ʌp əˈɡɛn.

For an instant it seemed seriously likely that he would stride across the footlights; then he turned a glare at the clown playing the piano; and then he burst in silence out of the room.

fɔr ən ˈɪnstənt ɪt siːmd ˈsɪəriəsli ˈlaɪkli ðæt hi wʊd straɪd əˈkrɔs ðə ˈfʊtˌlaɪts; ðɛn hi tɜrnd ə ɡlɛr æt ðə klaʊn ˈpleɪɪŋ ðə piˈænoʊ; ænd ðɛn hi bɜrst ɪn ˈsaɪləns aʊt əv ðə rum.

The priest had only watched for a few more minutes the absurd but not inelegant dance of the amateur harlequin over his splendidly unconscious foe.

ðə prist hæd ˈoʊnli wɑtʃt fɔr ə fju mɔr ˈmɪnɪts ðə æbˈsɜrd bət nɑt ɪnˈɛlɪɡənt dæns əv ðə ˈæməˌtɝ ˈhɑrləkwɪn ˈoʊvər hɪz ˈsplɛndɪdli ənˈkɑnʃəs foʊ

With real though rude art, the harlequin danced slowly backwards out of the door into the garden, which was full of moonlight and stillness.

wɪð riəl ðoʊ ruːd ɑrt, ðə ˈhɑrləkwɪn dænst ˈsloʊli ˈbæk.wərdz aʊt əv ðə dɔr ˈɪntu ðə ˈɡɑrdən, wɪtʃ wəz fʊl əv ˈmun.laɪt ænd ˈstɪlnəs.

The vamped dress of silver paper and paste, which had been too glaring in the footlights, looked more and more magical and silvery as it danced away under a brilliant moon.

ðə væmpt drɛs əv ˈsɪlvər ˈpeɪpər ænd peɪst, wɪʧ hæd bɪn tu ˈɡlɛrɪŋ ɪn ðə ˈfʊtˌlaɪts, lʊkt mɔr ænd mɔr ˈmæʤɪkəl ænd ˈsɪlvəri æz ɪt dænst əˈweɪ ˈʌndər ə ˈbrɪljənt mun.

He followed his summoner with increasing doubt, which was not dispelled by a solemn comicality in the scene of the study.

hi ˈfɑl.oʊd hɪz ˈsʌ.mənər wɪð ɪnˈkris.ɪŋ daʊt, wɪʧ wəz ˈnɑt dɪsˈpɛld baɪ ə ˈsɑləmˈn kəˈmɪkˈæləti ɪn ðə sin əv ðə ˈstʌdi.

There sat Colonel Adams, still unaffectedly dressed as a pantaloon, with the knobbed whalebone nodding above his brow, but with his poor old eyes sad enough to have sobered a Saturnalia.

ðɛr sæt ˈkɝnəl ˈædəmz, stɪl ˌʌnəˈfɛktɪdli drɛst æz ə pænˈtəˌlun, wɪð ðə ˈnɑbd wɛlˈboʊn ˈnɑdɪŋ əˈbʌv hɪz braʊ, bət wɪð hɪz pur oʊld aɪz sæd ɪˈnʌf tu hæv ˈsoʊbərd ə sæˈtɜrˌneɪliə.

Sir Leopold Fischer was leaning against the mantelpiece and heaving with all the importance of panic.

sɜr ˈliːpəld ˈfɪʃər wəz ˈliːnɪŋ əˈɡɛnst ðə ˈmæntəlˌpiːs ænd ˈhiːvɪŋ wɪð ɔːl ðə ɪmˈpɔrtəns əv ˈpænɪk.

"This is a very painful matter, Father Brown," said Adams.

ðɪs ɪz ə ˈvɛri ˈpeɪnfəl ˈmætər, ˈfɑðər braʊn, sɛd ˈædəmz.

"The truth is, those diamonds we all saw this afternoon seem to have vanished from my friend's tail coat pocket.

ðə truθ ɪz, ðoʊz ˈdaɪəməndz wiː ɔːl sɔː ðɪs əˈftərˌnun sim tuː hæv ˈvænɪʃt frɒm maɪ frɛndz tejl koʊt ˈpɑkɪt.

And as you-"

ænd æz ju-

"Nothing of the sort shall be suggested," said Colonel Adams, with a firm look at Fischer, which rather implied that some such thing had been suggested.

"ˈnʌθɪŋ ʌv ðə sɔrt ʃæl bi səˈʤɛstɪd," sɛd ˈkɜrnəl ˈædəmz, wɪθ ə fɜrm lʊk æt ˈfɪʃər, wɪʧ ˈræðər ɪmˈplaɪd ðæt sʌm ˈsʌʧ θɪŋ ˈhæd biːn səˈʤɛstɪd.

"I only ask you to give me the assistance that any gentleman might give."

"aɪ ˈoʊnli ˈæsk ju tu ˈɡɪv mi ðə əˈsɪstəns ðæt ˈɛni ˈʤɛntəlmən maɪt ˈɡɪv"

"Which is turning out his pockets," said Father Brown, and proceeded to do so, displaying seven and sixpence, a return ticket, a small silver crucifix, a small breviary, and a stick of chocolate.

"wɪʧ ɪz ˈtɜrnɪŋ aʊt hɪz ˈpɑkɪts," sɛd ˈfɑðər braʊn, ænd prəˈsidəd tu dʊ soʊ, dɪsˈpleɪɪŋ ˈsɛvən ænd ˈsɪksˌpɛns, ə rɪˈtɝn ˈtɪkɪt, ə smɑl ˈsɪlvər ˈkruːsɪfɪks, ə smɑl ˈbrɛvɪɛri, ænd ə stɪk əv ˈʧɑklət."

The colonel looked at him long, and then said, "Do you know, I should like to see the inside of your head more than the inside of your pockets.

ðə ˈkɜːrnəl lʊkt æt ɪm lɔŋ, ænd ðɛn sɛd, "du jʊ noʊ, aɪ ʃʊd laɪk tu si ðə ɪnˈsaɪd əv jɔr hɛd mɔːr ðæn ðə ɪnˈsaɪd əv jɔr ˈpɑkɪts."

"She has lately," cried out old Fischer, "opened her father's house to a cut throat Socialist, who says openly he would steal anything from a richer man.

ʃi hæz ˈleɪtli kraɪd aʊt oʊld ˈfɪʃər ˈoʊpənd hər ˈfɑðərz haʊs tu ə kʌt θroʊt ˈsoʊʃəlɪst hu seɪz ˈoʊpənli hi wʊd stil ˈɛniθɪŋ frəm ə ˈrɪʧər mæn.

Here is the richer man-and none the richer."

hɪr ɪz ðə ˈrɪʧər mæn ənd nʌn ðə ˈrɪʧər

"If you want the inside of my head you can have it," said Brown rather wearily.

ɪf ju ˈwɑnt ðə ɪnˈsaɪd əv maɪ hɛd ju kæn hæv ɪt sɛd braʊn ˈræðər ˈwɪrəli

"What it's worth you can say afterwards.

"wʌt ɪts wɜrθ ju kæn seɪ ˈæftɜrwɔrdz

But the first thing I find in that disused pocket is this: that men who mean to steal diamonds don't talk Socialism.

bʌt ðə fɜrst θɪŋ aɪ faɪnd ɪn ðæt dɪˈsjuːzd ˈpɑkɪt ɪz ðɪs ðæt mɛn huː min tuː stil ˈdaɪəˌmɑndz doʊnt tɔk ˈsoʊʃəˌlɪzəm.

They are more likely," he added demurely, "to denounce it."

ðeɪ ɑr mɔr ˈlaɪkli, hi ˈædɪd dɪˈmjʊrli, tu dɪˈnaʊns ɪt.

Both the others shifted sharply and the priest went on:

bəʊθ ðə ˈʌðərz ˈʃɪftɪd ˈʃɑːpli ænd ðə priːst wɛnt ɒn

"You see, we know these people, more or less.

ju si, wi noʊ ðiz ˈpipəl, mɔɹ ɔɹ lɛs.

That Socialist would no more steal a diamond than a Pyramid.

"ðæt soʊʃəlɪst wʊd noʊ mɔr stil ə ˈdaɪəmənd ðæn ə ˈpɪrəmɪd."

We ought to look at once to the one man we don't know.

wi ɔt tu lʊk ət wʌns tu ðə wʌn mæn wi doʊnt noʊ

The fellow acting the policeman-Florian.

ðə ˈfɛloʊ ˈæktɪŋ ðə ˈpɑlɪsmən-ˈfloʊriən

Where is he exactly at this minute, I wonder."

wɛɹ ɪz hiː ɪɡˈzæktli ˈæt ðɪs ˈmɪnɪt, aɪ ˈwʌndəɹ

The pantaloon sprang erect and strode out of the room.

ðə ˌpæn.tə.ˈluːn spræŋ ɪˈrɛkt ænd stroʊd aʊt ʌv ðə rum.

An interlude ensued, during which the millionaire stared at the priest, and the priest at his breviary; then the pantaloon returned and said, with staccato gravity, "The policeman is still lying on the stage.

ˈæn ˈɪntərˌlud ɪnˈsud, ˈdʊrɪŋ hwɪʧ ðə ˈmɪljəˌnɛr stɛrd ət ðə prist, ænd ðə prist æt hɪz ˈbriviˌɛri; ˈðɛn ðə ˌpæntəˈlun rɪˈtɜrnd ænd sɛd, wɪð stəˈkɑtoʊ ˈɡrævɪti, ðə ˈpɑlɪsˌmæn ɪz stɪl ˈlaɪɪŋ ɒn ðə steɪʤ.

The curtain has gone up and down six times; he is still lying there."

ðə ˈkɜːrtn hæz ɡɔn ʌp ænd daʊn sɪks taɪmz; hi ɪz stɪl ˈlaɪɪŋ ðɛr.

Father Brown dropped his book and stood staring with a look of blank mental ruin.

ˈfɑðər braʊn drɑpt hɪz bʊk ænd stʊd ˈstɛrɪŋ wɪθ ə lʊk ʌv blæŋk ˈmɛntəl ˈruɪn

Very slowly a light began to creep in his grey eyes, and then he made the scarcely obvious answer.

"ˈvɛri ˈsloʊli ə laɪt bɪˈɡæn tu krip ɪn ɪz ˈɡreɪ aɪz, ænd ðɛn hi meɪd ðə ˈskɛrsli ˈɑbvɪəs ˈænsər."

"Wife!" replied the staring soldier, "she died this year two months.

"waɪf!" rɪˈplaɪd ðə ˈstɛrɪŋ ˈsoʊldʒər, "ʃi daɪd ðɪs jɪr tuː mʌnθs."

Her brother james arrived just a week too late to see her."

hɜr ˈbrʌðər ʤeɪmz əˈraɪvd ʤʌst ə wik tu leɪt tu si hɜr."

The little priest bounded like a rabbit shot.

ðə ˈlɪtəl priːst ˈbaʊndɪd laɪk ə ˈræbɪt ʃɑt.

"Come on!

kʌm ɒn!

They rushed on to the now curtained stage, breaking rudely past the columbine and clown (who seemed whispering quite contentedly), and Father Brown bent over the prostrate comic policeman.

ðeɪ rʌʃt ɑn tu ðə naʊ ˈkɜrtənd steɪʤ, ˈbreɪkɪŋ ˈrudli pæst ðə kɑləmˈbaɪn ænd klaʊn (huː simd ˈwɪspərɪŋ kwaɪt kənˈtɛntɪdli), ænd ˈfɑðər braʊn bɛnt ˈoʊvər ðə prəsˈtreɪt ˈkɑmɪk pəˈlisˌmæn.

"Chloroform," he said as he rose; "I only guessed it just now."

ˈklɔrəˌfɔrm, hi sɛd æz hi roʊz; aɪ ˈoʊnli ɡɛst ɪt ˈdʒʌst naʊ.

There was a startled stillness, and then the colonel said slowly, "Please say seriously what all this means."

ðɛr wʌz ə ˈstɑrdəld ˈstɪlnəs, ænd ðɛn ðə ˈkɝnəl sɛd ˈsloʊli, "pliz seɪ ˈsɪriəsli wʌt ɔl ðɪs minz."

Father Brown suddenly shouted with laughter, then stopped, and only struggled with it for instants during the rest of his speech. "Gentlemen," he gasped, "there's not much time to talk.

ˈfɑðər braʊn ˈsʌdənli ˈʃaʊtɪd wɪð ˈlæftər, ðɛn stɑpt, ænd ˈoʊnli ˈstrʌɡəld wɪð ɪt fɔr ˈɪnstənts ˈdʊrɪŋ ðə rɛst əv hɪz ˈspitʃ. "ˈʤɛntəlmən," hi ɡæspt, "ðɛrz nɑt mʌtʃ taɪm tu tɑk.

I must run after the criminal.

aɪ ˈmʌst ˈrʌn ˈæftər ðə ˈkrɪmɪnl.

But this great French actor who played the policeman-this clever corpse the harlequin waltzed with and dandled and threw about-he was-" His voice again failed him, and he turned his back to run.

"bʌt ðɪs ɡreɪt frɛntʃ ˈæktər hu pleɪd ðə ˈpɑlɪsˌmæn-ðɪs ˈklɛvər kɔrps ðə ˈhɑrləˌkwɪn ˈwɔltsd wɪð ænd ˈdændəld ænd θru əˈbaʊt-hi wʌz-" hɪz vɔɪs əˈɡɛn feɪld ɪm, ænd hi tɜrnd hɪz bæk tu rʌn.

"He was?" called Fischer inquiringly.

"hi wɑz?" kɔld ˈfɪʃər ɪnˈkwaɪərɪŋli.

"A real policeman," said Father Brown, and ran away into the dark.

"ə ɹiːl ˈpɒlɪsmən," sɛd ˈfɑðər braʊn, ænd ræn əˈweɪ ˈɪntu ðiː dɑːk.

There were hollows and bowers at the extreme end of that leafy garden, in which the laurels and other immortal shrubs showed against sapphire sky and silver moon, even in that midwinter, warm colours as of the south.

ðɛr wər ˈhɑloʊz ənd ˈbaʊərz ət ði ɪkˈstrim ɛnd əv ðæt ˈlifi ˈɡɑrdən, ɪn wɪʧ ði ˈlɔrəlz ənd ˈəðər ɪˈmɔrtəl ʃrʌbz ʃoʊd əˈɡɛnst ˈsæfaɪr ˈskaɪ ənd ˈsɪlvər mun, ˈivən ɪn ðæt ˈmɪdwɪntər, wɔrm ˈkʌlərz əz əv ði ˈsaʊθ.

The green gaiety of the waving laurels, the rich purple indigo of the night, the moon like a monstrous crystal, make an almost irresponsible romantic picture; and among the top branches of the garden trees a strange figure is climbing, who looks not so much romantic as impossible.

ðə ɡriːn ˈɡeɪəti əv ðə ˈweɪvɪŋ ˈlɔrəlz, ðə rɪʧ ˈpɜrpl̩ ˈɪndɪɡoʊ əv ðə ˈnaɪt, ðə mun laɪk ə ˈmɑnstrəs ˈkrɪstəl, meɪk ən ˈɔlmoʊst ˌɪrɪsˈpɑnsəbl̩ roʊˈmæntɪk ˈpɪktʃər; ænd əˈmʌŋ ðə tɑp ˈbrænʧɪz əv ðə ˈɡɑrdn triz ə streɪnʤ ˈfɪɡjər ɪz ˈklaɪmɪŋ, hu lʊks nɑt soʊ mʌtʃ roʊˈmæntɪk æz ɪmˈpɑsəbl̩.

But he swings, flashing and successful, from the short tree in this garden to the tall, rambling tree in the other, and only stops there because a shade has slid under the smaller tree and has unmistakably called up to him.

bʌt hiː swɪŋz, ˈflæʃɪŋ ænd səkˈsɛsfəl, frəm ðə ʃɔrt triː ɪn ðɪs ˈɡɑrdn tuː ðə tɔːl, ˈræmblɪŋ triː ɪn ðə ˈʌðər, ænd ˈoʊnli stɑps ðɛr bɪˈkɔz ə ʃeɪd həz slɪd ˈʌndər ðə ˈsmɔlər triː ænd həz ʌn.mɪs.teɪ.kəbli kɔld ʌp tuː hɪm.

"Well, Flambeau," says the voice, "you really look like a Flying Star; but that always means a Falling Star at last."

"wɛl, ˈflæmˌboʊ," sɛz ðə vɔɪs, "ju ˈɹili lʊk laɪk ə ˈflaɪɪŋ stɑɹ; bət ðæt ˈɔlweɪz minz ə ˈfɔlɪŋ stɑɹ ət ˈlæst."

The silver, sparkling figure above seems to lean forward in the laurels and, confident of escape, listens to the little figure below.

ðə ˈsɪlvər, ˈspɑrkəlɪŋ ˈfɪɡjər əˈbʌv simz tu lin ˈfɔrwərd ɪn ðə ˈlɔrəlz ænd, ˈkɑnfədənt əv ɪsˈkeɪp, ˈlɪsənz tu ðə ˈlɪtəl ˈfɪɡjər bɪˈloʊ.

"You never did anything better, Flambeau.

ju ˈnɛvər dɪd ˈɛniθɪŋ ˈbɛtər, ˈflæmˌboʊ.

Stealing the stones, I suppose, was nothing to you.

ˈstilɪŋ ðə stoʊnz, aɪ səˈpoʊz, wəz ˈnʌθɪŋ tu jʊ.

You could have done it by sleight of hand in a hundred other ways besides that pretence of putting a paper donkey's tail to Fischer's coat.

ju kʊd hæv dʌn ɪt baɪ slaɪt əv hænd ɪn ə ˈhʌndrəd ˈʌðər weɪz bɪˈsaɪdz ðæt prɪˈtɛns əv ˈpʊtɪŋ ə ˈpeɪpər ˈdɑŋkiz teɪl tu ˈfɪʃərz koʊt.

But in the rest you eclipsed yourself."

bʌt ɪn ðə rɛst juː ɪˈklɪpst jɔːrˈsɛlf

The silvery figure among the green leaves seems to linger as if hypnotised, though his escape is easy behind him; he is staring at the man below.

ðə ˈsɪlvəri ˈfɪɡər əˈmʌŋ ðə ɡriːn ˈliːvz ˈsiːmz tuː ˈlɪŋɡər əz ɪf ˈhɪpnəˌtaɪzd, ðoʊ hɪz ɪs ɪˈskeɪp ɪz ˈizi bɪˈhaɪnd ɪm; hiː ɪz ˈstɛrɪŋ ət ðə ˈmæn bɪˈloʊ.

"Oh, yes," says the man below, "I know all about it.

oʊ, jɛs, səz ðə mæn bɪˈloʊ, aɪ noʊ ˈɔl əˈbaʊt ɪt.

I know you not only forced the pantomime, but put it to a double use.

aɪ noʊ jʊ ˈnɑt ˈoʊnli fɔrst ðə ˈpæntəˌmaɪm, bət pʊt ɪt tə ə ˈdʌbəl jus

You were going to steal the stones quietly; news came by an accomplice that you were already suspected, and a capable police officer was coming to rout you up that very night.

ju wɜr ˈɡoʊɪŋ tu stil ðə stoʊnz ˈkwaɪətli; nuz keɪm baɪ ən əˈkɑmplɪs ðæt ju wɜr ɔlˈrɛdi səˈspɛktɪd, ænd ə ˈkeɪpəbl pəˈlis ˈɔfəsər wəz ˈkʌmɪŋ tu raʊt ju ʌp ðæt ˈvɛri naɪt.

You already had the clever notion of hiding the jewels in a blaze of false stage jewellery.

ju ɔlˈrɛdi hæd ðə ˈklɛvər ˈnoʊʃən əv ˈhaɪdɪŋ ðə ˈʤuːlz ɪn ə ˈbleɪz ʌv fɔls steɪʤ ˈʤuːəlri

Now, you saw that if the dress were a harlequin's the appearance of a policeman would be quite in keeping.

naʊ, ju sɔ ðæt ɪf ðə drɛs wər ə ˈhɑr.lɪ.kwɪnz ðə əˈpɪər.əns əv ə ˈpɑ.lɪs.mən wʊd bi kwaɪt ɪn ˈki.pɪŋ

The worthy officer started from Putney police station to find you, and walked into the queerest trap ever set in this world.

ðə ˈwɜrði ˈɔfɪsər ˈstɑɹtɪd frɒm ˈpʊtni pəˈlis ˈsteɪʃən tu faɪnd ju, ænd wɔkt ˈɪntu ðə ˈkwɪɹɪst ˈtɹæp ˈɛvɚ sɛt ɪn ðɪs wɜrld.

Oh, you will never do anything better.

oʊ, ju wɪl ˈnɛvər du ˈɛniθɪŋ ˈbɛtər.

And now, by the way, you might give me back those diamonds."

ænd naʊ, baɪ ðə weɪ, ju maɪt ɡɪv mi bæk ðoʊz ˈdaɪəməndz.

The green branch on which the glittering figure swung, rustled as if in astonishment; but the voice went on:

ðə ɡriːn bræntʃ ɒn wɪtʃ ðə ˈɡlɪtərɪŋ ˈfɪɡər swʌŋ, ˈrʌsl̩d æz ɪf ɪn əˈstɒnɪʃmənt; bʌt ðə vɔɪs wɛnt ɒn:

"I want you to give them back, Flambeau, and I want you to give up this life.

aɪ wɑnt ju tu ɡɪv ðɛm bæk, ˈflæmboʊ, ænd aɪ wɑnt ju tu ɡɪv ʌp ðɪs laɪf.

There is still youth and honour and humour in you; don't fancy they will last in that trade.

ðer ɪz stɪl juθ ænd ˈɑnər ænd ˈhjuːmər ɪn juː; doʊnt ˈfænsi ðeɪ wɪl ˈlæst ɪn ðæt treɪd.

Men may keep a sort of level of good, but no man has ever been able to keep on one level of evil.

mɛn meɪ kip ə sɔrt əv ˈlɛvəl əv ɡʊd, bət noʊ mæn hæz ˈɛvər bɪn ˈeɪbəl tu ˈkip ɑn wʌn ˈlɛvəl əv ˈivəl.

That road goes down and down.

ðæt roʊd ɡoʊz daʊn ænd daʊn.

The kind man drinks and turns cruel; the frank man kills and lies about it.

ðə kaɪnd mæn drɪŋks ənd tɜrnz krul; ðə fræŋk mæn kɪlz ənd laɪz əˈbaʊt ɪt.

Many a man I've known started like you to be an honest outlaw, a merry robber of the rich, and ended stamped into slime. Maurice Blum started out as an anarchist of principle, a father of the poor; he ended a greasy spy and tale bearer that both sides used and despised.

"ˈmɛni ə ˈmæn aɪv noʊn ˈstɑrtəd laɪk ju tu bi ən ˈɑnɪst ˈaʊlɔ, ə ˈmɛri ˈrɑbər əv ðə rɪʧ, ænd ˈɛndɪd stæmpt ˈɪntu slaɪm. mɔˈriːs ˈblʌm ˈstɑrtɪd aʊt əz ən ˈænərˌkɪst əv ˈprɪnsəpl, ə ˈfɑðər əv ðə pur; hi ˈɛndɪd ə ˈɡrizi spaɪ ænd teɪl ˈbɛrər ðæt boʊθ saɪdz juzd ænd dɪsˈpaɪzd."

Lord Amber went into wild society in a sort of chivalry; now he's paying blackmail to the lowest vultures in London.

lɔrd ˈæmbər wɛnt ˈɪntu waɪld səˈsaɪəti ɪn ə sɔrt əv ˈʃɪvəlri; naʊ hiz ˈpeɪɪŋ ˈbliːmɛɪl tu ðə ˈloʊɪst ˈvʌlʧərz ɪn ˈlʌndən.

Captain Barillon was the great gentleman apache before your time; he died in a madhouse, screaming with fear of the "narks" and receivers that had betrayed him and hunted him down.

ˈkæptən bæˈrɪljən wəz ðə ɡreɪt ˈʤɛntəlmən əˈpæʃ bɪˈfɔr jɔr taɪm; hi daɪd ɪn ə ˈmædhaʊs, ˈskrimɪŋ wɪθ fɪr əv ðə "nɑrks" ænd rɪˈsivərz ðæt hæd bɪˈtreɪd ɪm ænd ˈhʌntəd ɪm daʊn.

I know the woods look very free behind you, Flambeau; I know that in a flash you could melt into them like a monkey. But some day you will be an old grey monkey, Flambeau.

aɪ noʊ ðə wʊdz lʊk ˈvɛri fri bɪˈhaɪnd juː, ˈflæmboʊ; aɪ noʊ ðæt ɪn ə flæʃ ju kʊd mɛlt ˈɪntu ðɛm laɪk ə ˈmʌŋki. bʌt sʌm ˈdeɪ ju wɪl biː ən oʊld ɡreɪ ˈmʌŋki, ˈflæmboʊ.

You will sit up in your free forest cold at heart and close to death, and the tree tops will be very bare."

ju wɪl sɪt ʌp ɪn jɔr fri ˈfɔrɪst koʊld æt hɑrt ænd kloʊs tu dɛθ, ænd ðə tri tɑps wɪl bi ˈvɛri bɛr.

"Your downward steps have begun.

jɔr ˈdaʊnwərd stɛps hæv bɪˈɡʌn.

You are leaving suspicion on an honest boy with a good deal against him already; you are separating him from the woman he loves and who loves him.

ju ɑr ˈlivɪŋ səˈspɪʃən ɑn ən ˈɑnəst bɔɪ wɪð ə ɡʊd dil əˈɡɛnst ɪm ɔlˈrɛdi, ju ɑr ˈsɛpəˌreɪtɪŋ ɪm frəm ðə ˈwʊmən hi lʌvz ænd hu lʌvz ɪm.

But you will do meaner things than that before you die."

bʌt ju wɪl du ˈminər θɪŋz ðæn ðæt bɪˈfɔr ju daɪ."

Three flashing diamonds fell from the tree to the turf.

θri ˈflæʃɪŋ ˈdaɪəməndz fɛl frəm ðə tri tu ðə tɝf.

The small man stooped to pick them up, and when he looked up again the green cage of the tree was emptied of its silver bird.

ðə smɔl mæn stuːpt tuː pɪk ðɛm ʌp, ənd wɛn hi lʊkt ʌp əˈɡɛn ðə ɡrin keɪʤ ʌv ðə tri wəz ˈɛmptid ʌv ɪts ˈsɪlvər bɜrd.

UDO BEHAVES LIKE A GENTLEMAN

juːˈdiːoʊ bɪˈheɪvz laɪk ə ˈʤɛntəlmən

"And now," said Coronel, "we'd better decide what to do."

"ænd naʊ," sɛd kɔrəˈnɛl, "wiːd ˈbɛtər dɪˈsaɪd wɑːt tuː duː."