I have got an idea, If you want to be able to carry a conversation with your children just approach them and tell them you care for them, your loved children. If you want to punish them for a messy room leave them with no access to any electronical device and little human contact for some hours if you have time, then make them beg to be forgiven. Then again, you could just leave them with their strict grandparents for a few weeks.
Label: no hate