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What salesman has the slickest line | A hair grease salesman. | ### Instruction:
What salesman has the slickest line
### Response:
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What's a snake's favourite food | Hiss Cakes | ### Instruction:
What's a snake's favourite food
### Response:
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Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward | Brother: How do you know which way I'm going | ### Instruction:
Sister: Why are you putting the saddle on backward
### Response:
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Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered | Waiter: Well you know how slow turtles are. | ### Instruction:
Customer: How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered
### Response:
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Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies | Officer: You assigned me to the swat team didn't you | ### Instruction:
Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies
### Response:
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What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? | Rhesus Pieces. | ### Instruction:
What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?
### Response:
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Doctor Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts and here... it hurts and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me | You have a broken finger! | ### Instruction:
Doctor Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts and here... it hurts and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me
### Response:
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Why is a racehorse like a letter | They both begin a trip at the post! | ### Instruction:
Why is a racehorse like a letter
### Response:
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What part of a football ground is never the same | The changing rooms! | ### Instruction:
What part of a football ground is never the same
### Response:
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How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub | They both have rings! | ### Instruction:
How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub
### Response:
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Where do cats write down notes? - | Scratch Paper! | ### Instruction:
Where do cats write down notes? -
### Response:
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb | Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder... | ### Instruction:
How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb
### Response:
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How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed | They're the one's wearing the left-handed 'meats'! | ### Instruction:
How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed
### Response:
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Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who | Aries a reason why I talk this way | ### Instruction:
Knock Knock Who's there ! Aries ! Aries who
### Response:
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What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink | A slipped disk. | ### Instruction:
What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink
### Response:
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What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? | She can't say "No". | ### Instruction:
What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
### Response:
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Why are cowgirls bowlegged? | Cowboys like to eat with their hats on. | ### Instruction:
Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
### Response:
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What is a flea's favourite book | The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy | ### Instruction:
What is a flea's favourite book
### Response:
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How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake | It has a rattle. | ### Instruction:
How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake
### Response:
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Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really | Which one | ### Instruction:
Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really
### Response:
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What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? | surname | ### Instruction:
What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the Pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
### Response:
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army | They both wear stripes | ### Instruction:
How are tigers like sergeants in the army
### Response:
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How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? | 10000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution. | ### Instruction:
How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
### Response:
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How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb? | Thousands because Confucious say many hands make light work. | ### Instruction:
How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
### Response:
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Why do people beat their clocks | To kill time. | ### Instruction:
Why do people beat their clocks
### Response:
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What have 12 legs six eyes three tails and can't see | Three blind mice | ### Instruction:
What have 12 legs six eyes three tails and can't see
### Response:
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How does James Bond type e-mails | With his goldfinger. | ### Instruction:
How does James Bond type e-mails
### Response:
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Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year | Pupil: 12 - 2nd January 2nd February...! | ### Instruction:
Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year
### Response:
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Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women | Sister: Man-eating sharks. | ### Instruction:
Brother: What kind of sharks never eat women
### Response:
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What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? | A puppy stops whining after it grows up. | ### Instruction:
What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
### Response:
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Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees | The next day the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant. | ### Instruction:
Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees
### Response:
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Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1000 bones in the human body | Larry: Shhh doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room! | ### Instruction:
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1000 bones in the human body
### Response:
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What kind of dance do buns do | Abundance. | ### Instruction:
What kind of dance do buns do
### Response:
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Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me | Mother: Probably dear. I still have all of mine. | ### Instruction:
Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me
### Response:
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Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry | Because it's always on a sundae! | ### Instruction:
Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry
### Response:
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Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute | It opens on impact. | ### Instruction:
Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute
### Response:
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What should Iraq get for its air defense system? | A refund. | ### Instruction:
What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
### Response:
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Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper | He had his own frog-horn. | ### Instruction:
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper
### Response:
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Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water | He thought they would lay hard boiled eggs. | ### Instruction:
Did you hear about the idiot who made his chickens drink boiling water
### Response:
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What duo were famous for stealing horses | Bonnie and Clydesdale! | ### Instruction:
What duo were famous for stealing horses
### Response:
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What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? | You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. | ### Instruction:
What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
### Response:
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How does a blonde prepare for safe sex? | She puts on rubber based lipstick. | ### Instruction:
How does a blonde prepare for safe sex?
### Response:
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What is the Cuban national anthem | Row Your Boat! | ### Instruction:
What is the Cuban national anthem
### Response:
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Why are false teeth like stars | Because they come out at night. | ### Instruction:
Why are false teeth like stars
### Response:
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What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary | An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names... | ### Instruction:
What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary
### Response:
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Why are diapers like $10 bills | Because you have to change them. | ### Instruction:
Why are diapers like $10 bills
### Response:
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What's the definition of a nervous breakdown | A chameleon on a tartan rug | ### Instruction:
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown
### Response:
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Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love | Because they have cotton balls. | ### Instruction:
Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love
### Response:
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Why did King Kong join the army | To learn about gorilla warfare. | ### Instruction:
Why did King Kong join the army
### Response:
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Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'? | The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers! | ### Instruction:
Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?
### Response:
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How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? | Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum. | ### Instruction:
How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
### Response:
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig | - A woman that won't do what she's told. | ### Instruction:
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig
### Response:
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Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open | Because she expected some change in the weather. | ### Instruction:
Why did the lady go out doors with her purse open
### Response:
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Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage | She's afraid they'll bring down the house. | ### Instruction:
Why won't the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage
### Response:
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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? | Proofreading. | ### Instruction:
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
### Response:
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How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana | She left him out in the sun too long. | ### Instruction:
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana
### Response:
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What did the overweight ballet dancer perform | The dance of the sugar plump fairy | ### Instruction:
What did the overweight ballet dancer perform
### Response:
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What do you do when two snails have a fight | Leave them to slug it out. | ### Instruction:
What do you do when two snails have a fight
### Response:
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Why are spiders good swimmers | They have webbed feet | ### Instruction:
Why are spiders good swimmers
### Response:
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What goes round the middle of the Internet | The e-quator. | ### Instruction:
What goes round the middle of the Internet
### Response:
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What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend | It's a dead letter day. | ### Instruction:
What's a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend
### Response:
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What do you call a ghost that stays out all night | A fresh air freak. | ### Instruction:
What do you call a ghost that stays out all night
### Response:
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Why did the pig go to the casino | To play the slop machine | ### Instruction:
Why did the pig go to the casino
### Response:
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What part of a football pitch smells nicest | The scenter spot! | ### Instruction:
What part of a football pitch smells nicest
### Response:
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What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise | A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper | ### Instruction:
What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise
### Response:
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When does a bed grow longer | At night because two feet are added to it. | ### Instruction:
When does a bed grow longer
### Response:
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When do clocks die | When their time is up. | ### Instruction:
When do clocks die
### Response:
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What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? | No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!! | ### Instruction:
What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
### Response:
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Why did the poor dog chase his own tail | He was trying to make both ends meet | ### Instruction:
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail
### Response:
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At a dinner party one of the guests an obnoxiously loud young man tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat he picked it up with his fork held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig | Another guest sitting opposite asked quietly: 'Which end of the fork are you referring to | ### Instruction:
At a dinner party one of the guests an obnoxiously loud young man tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. When he was served a piece of meat he picked it up with his fork held it up and smirked: 'Is this pig
### Response:
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What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair | A bald beagle! | ### Instruction:
What wears a black white and tan coat but has no hair
### Response:
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What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another | A parson to parson call | ### Instruction:
What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another
### Response:
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What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd | He called the piano tuna! | ### Instruction:
What did the fish do when his piano sounded odd
### Response:
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Why are farmers cruel | Because they pull corn by the ears. | ### Instruction:
Why are farmers cruel
### Response:
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What do you call a horse that's been all around the world | A globe-trotter! | ### Instruction:
What do you call a horse that's been all around the world
### Response:
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What is a whale's favorite TV show | Flukes of Hazard! | ### Instruction:
What is a whale's favorite TV show
### Response:
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What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia | A puppy. | ### Instruction:
What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia
### Response:
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What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you | A phone moan. | ### Instruction:
What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you
### Response:
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I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why | I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower! | ### Instruction:
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why
### Response:
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Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days | Pupil: All of them | ### Instruction:
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days
### Response:
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What do you call a scruffy lazy ant | Decadant. | ### Instruction:
What do you call a scruffy lazy ant
### Response:
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What kind of tie does a pig wear | Pig's tie | ### Instruction:
What kind of tie does a pig wear
### Response:
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What sits in the middle of the world wide web | A very very big spider | ### Instruction:
What sits in the middle of the world wide web
### Response:
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What is the most faithful insect | A flea once they find someone they like they stick to them | ### Instruction:
What is the most faithful insect
### Response:
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Why do bees buzz | Because they can't whistle | ### Instruction:
Why do bees buzz
### Response:
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Who has large antlers a high voice and wears white gloves | Mickey Moose | ### Instruction:
Who has large antlers a high voice and wears white gloves
### Response:
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What is a moo hoo for a cow fight | A cattle battle! | ### Instruction:
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight
### Response:
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Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America | On their feet! | ### Instruction:
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America
### Response:
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What kind of furniture do pigs like best | Overstuffed. | ### Instruction:
What kind of furniture do pigs like best
### Response:
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What is the difference between a cello and a coffin? | The coffin has the corpse on the inside. | ### Instruction:
What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
### Response:
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What gives a gorilla good taste | Four years in an Ivy League school! | ### Instruction:
What gives a gorilla good taste
### Response:
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How do you lose fourteen stone of fat | Dump him. | ### Instruction:
How do you lose fourteen stone of fat
### Response:
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How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? | By the wise look in the eyes. | ### Instruction:
How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow?
### Response:
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How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb? | None even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye | ### Instruction:
How many Waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
### Response:
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Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who | Bunny thing is I've forgotten nowkn | ### Instruction:
Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who
### Response:
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Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that | Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light! | ### Instruction:
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that
### Response:
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Knock Knock Who's there ! Armageddon ! Armageddon who | Armageddon getting out of here | ### Instruction:
Knock Knock Who's there ! Armageddon ! Armageddon who
### Response:
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What sort of perfume do snakes prefer | Poison by Christian Dior | ### Instruction:
What sort of perfume do snakes prefer
### Response:
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Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail | To a re-tail store! | ### Instruction:
Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail
### Response:
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What's black and white stinks and hangs from a line | A drip dry skunk. | ### Instruction:
What's black and white stinks and hangs from a line
### Response:
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