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[deleted]: TIFU with all my bestfriends [deleted] Expecto_Patron_shots: How big was this "big ass shot" for one to go from barely drunk to blacked out? YudjiK42: it was a large glass, but i reamined sane and conscious for about 30 minutes before it all started crumbling Expecto_Patron_shots: Dude, you fucked up breakin shit yea. But, your friends shouldn't be forcing you to drink. And they shouldn't be recording you. They should be helping you. I'd say this is a blessing. Find better friends. I've had friends in my circle get so trashed or tripped out I've had to shower them. I've had friends try to fight me. Ive been so fucked up I've had to be showered. And not once in 15 years had anyone pulled out a phone to record it. You'll be alright.

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YudjiK42: TIFU with all my friends. A few days ago, me and my 4 friends were coming back from a party barely drunk, we had all already stopped drinking. we got to my friend's house where we were going to spend the night and we ordered McDonald's to eat. Last thing i remember is my friend forcing me to take a big ass shot of whisky, and then everything blacked out Next scene is just me waking up on the floor with an underwear that was not mine, with my toes bandaged and cuts all around my body. I hear my friend hunging up the phone and saying "now he woked up" Turns out i became a whole different person while drink, and i dont even remember. I broke the bathroom glass box, ran around the house bleeding and naked, jumped in the pool with my socks, jerked off in front of everyone and said i was thinking on my best friend (they told her). They told everyone, now nobody even talks to me and im living the worst days of my life, not even remembering what i did. The weird thing is, when i took that shot i was still normal, it was only after we ate that i got fucking possessed. (i dont even remember eating the McDonald's) TLDR: I got so fucking drunk i turned into a whole different person and screwed up with all the people i cared Andrewoholic: Are you sure they were friends? Someone sounds like they had their drink spiked. YudjiK42: this. i spent days thinking about it, i dont see any reasons to they do this to me, but it is indeed a very weird situation Andrewoholic: Well if someone secretly hates you, they will happily do it, for kicks. After all,. look what happened, and how no one is talking to you now. YudjiK42: how can i discover is someone drugged me? Andrewoholic: Go to the doctors and ask for a blood test. This may cost Or go to the police and report it as a crime YudjiK42: it has been 15 days NerdHerder77: GHB can be tested through hair up to a month later. It wouldn't hurt to go see a doctor, but it's a crapshoot. As much as it would suck to accuse people like that, it would be a different story if you were given a drug and you had no idea. TheFilosophersStoned: Cool thing to know! So interesting. I'll have to look in why it is detectable in hair NerdHerder77: Because each follicle is fed hair growth cells via blood vessels, the drugs are deposited in the hair and stay there as it grows. The catch is that it can't be detected until 5-7 days AFTER use but it does indicate if drugs are taken, and in some instances, when you stopped taking it.

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[deleted]: TIFU by scaring my daughter [deleted] S2Charlie: She will have completely forgotten this whole ordeal within a week. You're good, she's good👍 TheRealReapz: Haha yeah you're probably right. I just feel terrible about it S2Charlie: I've scared my daughter to tears many times, now she's 6 and she loves when I pop out from behind corners

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[deleted]: TIFU by nair’ing “down there” and then trying to silently release some pressure, [deleted] Philosopher115: I didn't even know you could use Nair like that. I though it would burn or something. monorchism: yea give it a try its awesome, nothing like having a smooth ass after a dump Philosopher115: True. Pro pooper tip: spread cheeks before sitting down, even less to clean. MedicineAfter8825: One step further - get a bidet attachment for your toilet - worth its weight in gold!

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CatAstridphe: TIFU By Underestimating A Rat Today, I F32, fucked up by underestimating a wild rat. For this story it's important to know I have 3 cats (Alice F10, Sparrow M2 and Ivy F1), that are all indoor/outdoor with full house access during the day (I don't want to hear about how cats should be indoor only, to each their own), and during the night Alice is grounded to the house because she will pick fights with Ivy, but Ivy and Sparrow still have full access to outside and my bedroom. It's also important to know that it was raining pretty hard and that I frequently wake up at night. This story starts at approximately 4:30am, when Sparrow and Ivy come home because of the rain. While Alice is an asshole to them, they get along amazingly and are always playing together and grooming each other, it's very cute, so I didn't think much of it when they were dicking around my room playing. I then notice that Ivy was diging out a shelf of Axolotl plush I have set up on floor level, but she's been known to deshelf plush so I didn't think much of it, just that she was bored because of the rain. Half an hour later, Ivy is still at it and I decided there must be a bug in there she wants, and gently encourage her, "Is there a bug? Is that what you want in there? Yeah, you get that bug for me!" Then lay down again to boot up my switch and play some Dadish 3. I don't even get past the title screen when I hear a squeak, and then another and by the third squeak I realise it's not a bug she was after and probably a mouse, which we've had around the house occasionally since we have moved in. So abandoning my game, I usher Ivy out of the way, ready to manhandle this mouce, usually I just pick them up and take them to a nearby park, no worries. I rummage through the plush and find not a mouce, but a rat. The significant difference between them here, aside from size, is that mice will tend to freeze up and be easy to handle, but wild rats are bitey little fucks. I used to have pet rats, so I'm not afraid of them or handling them. So after playing "Find the rat" after it bolted, I attempted to pick it up gently, hoping it would be friendly/in shock enough to not bite me, and no luck, I get a little nibble. At this point I contemplate just letting my cats have at it, but I don't want them eating it, getting bitten or injuring it and having it die somewhere in my room, especially because it's summer here now and I don't want a rotting rat carcass stinking me out. With those reasons in mind, I hunt it down again, and here's where I fuck up. It was attempting to escape to behind some of my shelves, with only its tail accessible to me, so I decide "I guess I just have to grab it by the tail and hope for the best." Knowing full well that it could do some acrobatic shit and bite me, but it was a short trip to the front yard and then it could fuck off into a tree or something. Success! I have the rat, I'm racing it to the front door and feeling really bad for holding it like that, hoping I'm not hurting it too much, it will be over soon small friend! Then this little fucker realises he can do a little ratty stomach crunch, grab his own tail, climb it as a rope to where my fingers are and bite me. Let me tell you, rat bites fucking hurt, a lot. So now I'm still racing to the door with this rat chomped down on my finger, its top teeth on my fingernail, bottom teeth in the meaty part of my finger, it was so painful I was convinced that his teeth had gone through the nail, and my only options at this point were to try and flick him off in the house, or to carry on to the door where I could shake him outside. Naturally, I choose the latter, because hey, I'm already in this deep and what's another 6 seconds of being bitten? We get outside and thankfully he lets go pretty quickly and I can go back inside to assess my wounds and clean up, because my finger is dripping blood at this point, luckily he did not penatrate my nail. I have a good few minutes of swearing and some tears and eventually go back to bed where I take some anti inflammatories for the massive swelling that's already happening and google rat bites and what additional care I would need. Here in Australia, we don't have rabies, thankfully, but we do have tetanus, I needed a booster. Like a good girl, I went to my GP for the shot and got a script for antibiotics just in case. Luckily my doctor is across the road from a cake shop, so I bought some cake to eat later while I feel sorry for myself. TL;DR: Rats can do acrobatic shit when held by their tail and bite you, don't ever think they won't go that route. Andrewoholic: Glad you got the shot, I was going to warn you too. Rats are clever though, it will be back in no time. As a cat owner, I have no issues with cats being outside, but I would suggest bringing them in at night. Not only because most things they catch are nocturnal, but presuming you live by a road, they are often not easy to see at night and not always quick enough to get out the way of a speeding car. CatAstridphe: I actually think one of the cats brought it in from outside, so I'm hoping it was smart enough to yeet somewhere else. I trust Alice and Sparrow not to go on the road. Alice is old enough now that she's happy primarily being in the backyard, even during the day, and Sparrow is a baby that will follow me on walks and his territory is quite small and he's always stuck to house fence lines. Ivy is my little problem, however. So I've bought her a reflective collar and a GPS tracker. The only street she crosses is a small side street, and she is incredibly quick and people shy. So, while I'm not happy about it, I feel like she's okay. I check on her GPS every time I wake up, which is usually every couple of hours. As she gets older I think she'll start sticking around home more as well. Andrewoholic: That depends if she can have babies, or whether you have given her the relevant op. She may start wandering, as male cats start looking for her. CatAstridphe: Nah, she's been fixed. I adopt all my pets from shelters, and they come desexed, microchipped, and vaccinated. Andrewoholic: I always thought it was only the Uk, that called it "Fixed" lol CatAstridphe: Not sure about that one, I was attacked by keyboard warriors for referring to it as "Desexed," though. Apparently it's cruel phrasing or something stupid like that. Andrewoholic: lol

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[deleted]: TIFU By not going home [deleted] shmackinhammies: Funny story, but you should break it down into paragraphs. Fun_Tomorrow_2782: [better?](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10fjdhp/a_compulsory_moment_turned_into_a_night_full_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) shmackinhammies: Yes, now, the algorithm might have already passed on your post, but if it hasn’t, get ready for the karma. Fun_Tomorrow_2782: I'm honestly very new to reddit posting, do elaborate

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queeruption: TIFU by getting my ten year old reddit account compromised. TIFU by getting my reddit account compromised. This happened yesterday, hence the new account! i've been looking for work and one of the areas i've been looking in is gig economy. i being a long time redditor knew that a lot of sub existed where gig workers would offer advice and assistance ok getting myself up and running. so i post in one of the subs about how i'm having a really hard time getting going and a redditor responds telling me about a little known app that is offering amazing rates. i being desperate immediately sign up. nothing. it's empty. ugh. so inpost again saying i signed up but that it's not busy. in fact, nothing is happening on the app. ugh. moving on. ten minutes later i get a text on my phone. "hey redditor, this is the guy who responded to your post on reddit, how are you?" "huh" "yeah man, i run that app and i saw that you signed up" omg wtf. 10 years on reddit activity, intimate details on my life.. shit even some naughty photos! omg. he not only knows my name, he can know so so much about me. immediately i delete my account. 10 years of relationships. 10 years of activity. 10 years of that precious precious karma GONE. heads up: i never thought i'd get caught like that. never. i couldn't believe it. it felt like a gross infringement on my person, my life and my online activity. TLDR: a redditor owned a company i signed up for after his recommendation on a sub. he texted me on my personal phone. had to delete a 10 year old account immediately. dadarkgtprince: Rip your old account. Was the app in the stores? You could possibly report it queeruption: yeah, it was on the apple AppStore. i honestly couldn't believe how much of a infringement it was. i never even thought it would be possible. dadarkgtprince: Yea, that's definitely overstepping boundaries. Not cool on that app owner queeruption: yeah, for some reason i associate apps with a certain amount of user data safety.. i guess not. dadarkgtprince: App permissions was looked at a lot more deeply a couple years ago. It's definitely good to review all the permissions to make sure they make sense. No reason to give your phone number and location to a calculator app

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Fun_Tomorrow_2782: TIFU because of a Compulsory action that ended in pure degradation [removed] DrSmurfalicious: Could you not format the text like that? I have to scroll about 5 meters horizontally for each line. Fun_Tomorrow_2782: What device are you using to read this post? DrSmurfalicious: A computer, running Firefox with RES installed, as God intended. Fun_Tomorrow_2782: Ah, I typed this on my mobile device so it must appear better on that platform. Many apologies potentiallypat: Looks bad on mobile too Fun_Tomorrow_2782: Can you show me a screenshot? My side just looks like strangely highlighted text

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StringLatter2790: TIFU by not sexually assaulting a girl on the first date. I \[28M\] matched with this girl \[22F\] on bumble last year. We've been talking for a month now, we hit it off well. She's pretty, smart, likes the same things I do. We've sexted and talked about kinds and what not, but couldn't meet up until this past weekend because I was out of town. For context, she likes CNC (Consensual Non Consent), and has other submissive kinds. Which I not only like, but was looking forward to practice with her. Anyway, This Saturday we were able to meet up for the first time. I cooked dinner, and then we started watching cartoons (one of those things we have in common). Then naturally we start to make out, things get heated. Clothes start to be flung around. But then she says "Not yet". I stop... we watch a bit more cartoons naked... then things get heated again. And she says No again. I'm not a complete moron mind you, and I knew she was into CNC. So I asked her if this was it? Because for CNC, I need the Consent part and to know that. Also need to kind of agreeable way ta she can retract consent after we start. She says it isn't, she just didn't want to have sex today. I respected her wishes. We continue watching cartoons and fooling around without sex. Until she said it was getting late and she need to go home. ​ In my mind we had a perfect first date, I thought things were great. Well... Sunday we texted normally, she said she enjoyed our date and I said the same. Monday and yesterday she was kinda distant, but I guesses she was busy. But last night I asked her if she was free this weekend for us to meet again. She says she doesn't really want to go out with me anymore... I asked what happened and she said she wanted to have sex Saturday, and I was "too week to get it out of her". I said I asked about the CNC and if that what she wanted, and she said that I bringing that up killed the mood completely and "dried her up". So that's it. I lost a \[apparent\] perfect girl because I wasn't willing to have sex with her without her consent. ​ TL;DR Invited girl with CNC fetiche that doesn't understand the the Consensual part of "Consensual Non Consent", she didn't like I didn't sexually assault her. Doesn't want to go out with me anymore. ttystikk: You dodged a bullet, my brother. She did not set up a scene with you, nor did she do any up front negotiation or discussion or otherwise set the scene AND CREATE THE NECESSARY CONSENT. She is confused, she will be abused and her playmates stand a serious chance of winding up in prison. You need no part of that. HonestIntroduction54: > She is confused, she will be abused I think that maybe she already was. Some people who were abused like to recreate the conditions of their abuse. The fact that the acknowledgment of consent made her get out of the mood is worrying. Stoopid_69: I'm curious, why would they ever want to recreate the conditions of their abuse? Wouldn't they want to do the exact opposite? RiotBlack43: It's not always a conscious decision. Trauma is literal brain damage, and can subconsciously cause a person to recreate that trauma over and over again while the brain attempts to process it. Anotherdmbgayguy: >Trauma is literal brain damage Trauma is a very effective form of survival. It is usually unhelpful in more modern societies, but it's not "brain damage". Your brain and body are designed to utilize and remember traumatic stress. Although with recent research, it would really be more accurate to say "Your brain and body are designed to utilize your ability to be calm for situations that do not require stress." RiotBlack43: https://highlandspringsclinic.org/can-emotional-trauma-cause-brain-damage/ Anotherdmbgayguy: Yes, thank you Highland Springs Specialty Clinic. That was a mildly bad, biased write-up of misunderstood old science. ETA, since this is locked: As I was apparently supposed to take a dismissive, wordless drop of the first available Google link from "PTSD brain damage" as an invitation for warm discourse: PTSD results in *functional* differences in behavior and neurobiology, not structural damage in the brain. It can result in changes in size of the amygdala and hippocampus, but that is more to do with activity and is not classified as brain damage. RiotBlack43: Okay, then post a link so that I can learn new information, instead of acting like a pretentious dick about it.

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Lonely-Tip5422: tifu by guessing right that my bf js cheating on me [removed] Seeksp: How is that your fuck up and not his? Lonely-Tip5422: I'm not doing to great in life and he was all I had left Seeksp: I recently came out of a bad breakup and was gripped with hopelessness and self doubt. That's a deep hole to dig for yourself. The sooner you can let go the better off you'll be. I know its all easier said than done. I was in a dark place for a long time. You pain is real. Your feelings are valid. Just my 2 cents. *Don't give up cause you have friends. Don't give up cause you're not beaten yet. Don't give up. Please don't give up...* Peter Gabriel. 🤗

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[deleted]: TIFU by sending a scammer nudes and paying… [deleted] PhantomTroupe-2: You paid them….to unsend the picture That’s probably the first time they’ve gotten somebody with that Current_Translator_7: Probably not, (they have dozens of victims at one time) but I did manage to get their phone number Zelle account cash app and Venmo bc I held off the payment for as long as possible. And reverse image searches the nudes they used and contacted the real person. I also found out who owned the phone number. And reported everything to the correlating companies and reported the incident to cyber forensics. Hopefully that makes their endeavors of scamming horny people a tiny bit harder. It could have ended worse. I’m glad I’m not friends with my family on insta lmao ThegatiX: During all this detective work, were you able to cancel anything and get your fucking money back? Current_Translator_7: Nah, it was only 200 though so I’m not too worried about it FigLow4974: damn “only $200” must be nice to have that sentiment. Negative_Thought_911: When you think about the alternative it’s pretty reasonable to think like that,don’t act like they’re wrong FigLow4974: They are wrong. $200 is a large amount of money to give to a random person for no reason, period. It doesn’t matter if it’s objectively less than they would have spent in an alternate universe. It’s like throwing $200 into a fire. OP is actually quite stupid if they aren’t even going to try to get their $200 back. Current_Translator_7: There’s no way to get it back.. there’s no point stressing about it. It’s over and gone. I’m just gonna take the L on the 200$ and move on. Lesson learned ig everyone makes mistakes.

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I_Am_the_Slobster: TIFU by saying something unorthodox. I work at a school in Canada. And, for some background, education in Canada is leaning heavily into Indigenous reconciliation and decolonizing the classroom. I FUd on something related to that last element. Some of my colleagues and I were chatting in my classroom after school and someone said they were taking a course on decolonizing the classroom. When I asked them what they had discussed, they responded that it just started so they didn't have much info yet. That's when I made a blunder by saying that I've always been confused about decolonization. I told them that every time I've heard about it, there are seldom any ideas beyond teaching more indigenous content and "incorporating" indigenous knowledge into the classroom. I'm doing the best I can, but I told them I find it frustrating that these statements often come from academics who like to raise issues with few thought out solutions. My colleagues looked at me like I was a heretic. They avoided looking at me when we left, and now I'm worried what kind of reception I'll get going forward. TLDR: in a discussion with other teachers, I said something that questioned the ideals of decolonization and they looked at me like I had said something heretical. CovidPangolin: You questioned something, no big deal. Its normal to ask questions when you don't understand something or don't get something, aren't you all teachers? I_Am_the_Slobster: The issue is that the field of education has become a bit zealous in terms of progressive ideals: while most ideals are positive, any voiced opposition towards any of the openly espoused ideals can result in some pretty serious consequences. So when a teacher raises a question or concern regarding one of these ideals, such as decolonizing the classroom or incorporating traditional indigenous knowledge, they can be met with backlash or, worse, possible job loss. Squigglepig52: It's always been like that in academia, dude. I took Fine Art at university in the late 80's, and stuff like Native rights and Feminism were massive issues. It always comes down to true believers vs other viewpoints, and a cadre of people who may or may not believe, but will make certain everybody knows they are on the "right" side. A prof did a performance piece meant to illustrate the exploitation of women in society. It centered on bee hives, and made a big deal of who the Queen bee was exploited by the hive and forced to simply be a baby machine. Me pointing out that all the workers are technically female, and drones are hatched only to breed, and then die, which is the opposite of the prof's claim went over like a fart in church.

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Bbypndabamboo: TIFU by trying to prevent my armpits from smelling, but I ended up making them smell worse This actually happened about two weeks ago. I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a health tip from a dermatologist that mentioned using benzoyl peroxide on your body odor parts to reduce body odor smells. I initially questioned this so I checked through different health websites and it did turn out to be true. I didn’t have horrible body odor from my armpits, but I wanted to try to reduce it as much as possible. I ordered some benzoyl peroxide, which is also used for acne control, and it came about a week later. The first day I used it I tried it on my armpits as well as my groin. Everything seemed fine until I started sweating again and it smelled horrible. Some of the instructions that I found said that you have to use it every couple of days for it to be effective so I continued using it for about a week and applied it a total of three times. I asked my wife just to check if I was nose deaf to my previous BO, but I was not, my BO had gotten significantly worse after using this product. I’ve now tried to use body scrub’s on my armpits, but they still smell horrible. Hopefully I can just continue using my anti-perspirant and it will go back to normal. TL;DR I tried to fix my nonexistent armpit BO using acne medicine found on Instagram and it made it worse. fliguana: Use vodka pauliewotsit: By drinking so much you don't notice the smell any more? fliguana: Touche, I hadn't thought of that!

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[deleted]: TIFU by going to a party I wasn't invited to. [deleted] Lord_Xytherius: Haven't heard from either of them for 2 years. Yet out of the blue one asks you for a ride. They're assholes, leave them in the dust. Sansthepal: ah ah ah ah staying alive staying alive, ah ah ah ah another one bites the dust, another one bites the dust payneinthemike: Wtf are you singing? Bronzeborg: a bad mash of bee gees and queen? \*shrug\* stlmick: On drugs, very possibly. DisposableSaviour: Not the same ones I’m on, apparently.

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pottersfloppy: TIFU by sending a nude So I [28m] have been talking to a girl [27f] I met a few days ago on Tinder and we really kicked it off. We’ve been talking a lot every day, with her always greeting me each morning with a text. She’s quick to reply, and has a lot to say, and I genuinely enjoy talking to her. We even made plans to meet each other this weekend. Everything seemed like they were going well, until today, when she asked if she could see a full body pic of me. I half-jokingly said that I have a few nudes, but she said that’s fine, she wanted to see them. So I sent them and she gave me a very positive reaction. She wanted to see more so I sent her another one. Then, after the excitement died down, she asked if I’d sent those to other girls before. I said I did for one of them to a person I was talking to last summer (when the pic was taken) but not the other one. She said ok, but I feel something was off with our conversation after. But it’s only been a few hours. Since then, she hasn’t been responding as much or as quickly, which is unusual for our conversations. I might’ve blew it by sending her the nudes, she might think I do this often. It’s time to put my phone down. tldr: matched with a girl on tinder, had great conversations for the past few days. She asked for nudes, and had a positive reaction, but asked if I sent them to other girls in the past. I said only one to my ex back in summer 2022. Then she’s been more reserved in our convos. I might’ve made myself look like an unfaithful nude slinger, which I’m not. Big-Maintenance-109: Good nudes are tough to take lol turn the tables and ask for her go to nudes 🤷🏻‍♂️ NoReallyLetsBeFriend: Exactly. Maybe she thinks she'll have some competition if you're a good looking dude, and she might be self conscious. Note: I'm sure you're aware, but regardless of how she looks, compliment her! No this isn't lying or deceitful, but always look at things in a positive light, and she'll love you for it. My wife hates that she gained baby weight with our daughter, and I tell her cute little things out leave her notes at her WFH desk when she's away. It's the little compliments and remarks that help get over any self conscious feelings she might feel if she feels compared to other women. RumBraisin: Yeah, that's sweet and all but you're married. This guy juat met her and they're not a real "thing" yet. Big difference. Compliments in marriage: . Lovely, sweet, wholesome Compliments to a maybe-new relationship (especially after sending nudes): . Untrustworthy, not genuine . Could come off as conniving, slippery and just plain uncomfortable since she might feel like you WANT something from her, you know? NoReallyLetsBeFriend: So if you're sent a nude or body pic or something, don't say anything positive? Got it! /s I'm not saying go over the top, but a little goes a long way. How do you think I got married in the first place??? Not by being an asshole, I'll tell you that much

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munilotthug: TIFU by having a picture of a flag on my phone This was my wife and happened about a year ago. My son recently graduated college and is a history teacher. We bought him a 48 star US flag with the intention of getting it framed for him to hang in his class room. We were going to a place for a quote so I suggested laying it on the couch to be able to give them an idea of the size. We did that and took a photo to show the people that would be framing it. My wife had ordered online from Bed Bath or something similar. She had the pickup confirmation email and did a screen shot so it was readily available. So she goes into the store and the cashier is waiting on her and my wife asks if there are any coupons available for her products. The clerk asks to see what she bought so my wife opened her photo library to show her the order. As she opens the photos the first one that comes up is the picture of this flag laid out on our couch. She quickly swiped and said something like oh that’s just for my son. The clerk then says I can do better than the stated coupons and proceeds to give her a 50% discount as well as a $25 gift card. My wife was confused but checked out and walked out to her car. As she is walking it dawns on her that the clerk thought the flag photo was a flag draped over the coffin of our son that was killed in service. She the felt like crap for getting a discount under false pretenses. TL/DR: my wife had a picture of a flag that we were going to frame for our son and got a huge discount because the clerk thought it was a flag draped coffin. g7luiz: Why a 48 flag though? Are Hawaii and Alaska a joke to you? RandoCalrissian11: I want to know too. I get he’s a history teacher, but why the 48? Daqpanda: There weren't always 50 states, and it's fun to see the transitions of our nations flag. We've had a couple along the way. RandoCalrissian11: I agree, but just curious why the 48. The Betsy Ross or one of the lessor known flags would seem more appropriate. Even the Gasden Flag would be a great flag with much more history than the 48. Daqpanda: Maybe they're into niche things? I didn't even know there was a flag with 48, and I could see it being neat to have one, and know the story behind it. g7luiz: Yeah, that adds up. It’s a nice conversation starter, I guess (if you’re into history and flags and that kind of thing).

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TheElusiveGoose10: TIFU by losing my wedding ring Yup. I basically lost my wedding ring. And not just any ordinary ring. I hand picked the gem because it was the perfect shape AND color and the moment we saw it, we knew it was the one. What's worse is that I just cannot for the life of me, remember where I lost it. The last memory I have of my ring is taking it off to apply hand sanitizer. And I usually put it in my pocket, and it's always been safe but it the rush of applying hand sanitizer, and rushing to the bathroom, it must have gotten lost. And the place that I was at is a fairly public cafe/radio station. I didn't realize I had lost it until like a couple of hours later and thank crab jesus I have the best friend in the world cause she managed to get a hold of the radio station and ask for it. Unfortunately, it has not been found. Tl;Dr I lost my beautiful wedding ring. frambsgans: Unimportant but were you at KEXP? TheElusiveGoose10: Yesss 😢😢😢 themeanderingfool: inb4 u/frambsgans has the ring. frambsgans: oh no i wish 😭😭 i just wanted to know because of the cafe/radio station thing haha i knew immediately where they were talking about TheElusiveGoose10: I was thinking how not many places have something like this in their city, and was like well!! Someone will figure it out. 😆

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deervsheadlights-: TIFU by giving my address and photo to a stranger while going through the stories of people i have added on my snapchat, someone posted an ad for fake IDs. i’ve been meaning to get one for a while, and this was my chance. after adding the person in question, he agreed to give it to me for free (still with the cost of 50 dollar shipping) if i posted the advertisement on my story as well. after posting it, i very impulsively gave him my address in order for him to mail it to me. upon waiting for my payment, which i did not promise, he added me to a group chat and another member showed me that they had already made the ID card with my photo on it. after my friend (who was paying for me) tried to send the money, it declined multiple times saying that it was “refunded for your protection”. i told them i would pay full price for it later once i got the ability to do so and deleted the chat. now i’m worrying and overthinking like crazy about it. i have no idea who these people are, where they live or anything. the only good note is that they still asked for my address a second time, but i think it may have been screenshotted (of course i don’t know though, since it didn’t say what was fake a sb it could have been the other id information) TLDR: gave a stranger on snapchat my address and photo over snapchat for a fake id that was made before my payment Jesse0100: They can't do anything with just an address. Lucky you didn't send more info. You got a good lesson for free tho. nihcul: Lol cant do anything except show up to said address and then literally anything else? Be for real. SteakMenu: I'm sure he meant as far as identity theft goes they need more than just the address

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Ubiquitous_word: TIFU by being too scared of asking a girl out For a while now, I have been into this girl at university. We interacted about 2 times and we barely spoke to each other, but I asked for her Instagram and she gave me. Now my feelings grew a bit more, and I decided to shoot my shot. However, I decided to prepare myself first. This is where I fucked up. I added one of the girls friends on ig and asked them if my crush was single, and they said yes. Then, my stupid ass asked them about what days my crush was on campus. They didn’t answer me at first, but I now noticed that they blocked. It has been over a week about it and now they probably told my crush about me, and now she probably thinks I am a weirdo, killing any chance I would have. I want to beat myself now. The worst part is that I asked one of her other friends in person who is closer to me and they answer all my questions with no problem. I should have probably just gone after the girl and let go my fear of rejection. TL;DR: I asked too much to friend of my crush and now they probably think I’m weird. Lesson of the day: ASK YOUR CRUSH OUT YOURSELF, IF SHE SAYS NO, MOVE ON. Portgas: You are making too many baseless assumptions about things. Approach her irl, ask her out. Ubiquitous_word: I feel like it’s too late for that. I was scared of being rejected but now I made myself look worse. It is what it is ig Portgas: Again, you have 0 idea of how SHE feels about any of that. Ubiquitous_word: True, but think about it. Your friend tells you that she blocked someone who asked if you are single and when your gonna be at a certain place. Wouldn’t you find it weird? There is a chance that the friend didn’t tell you that but I highly doubt it. Portgas: Maybe i would, maybe i wouldn't, maybe nobody told anyone anything. Until you have empirical proof of something, ie you talk to her and she tells you to get lost, assume nothing, act normal.

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jdowe201: TIFU By Saving A Girl’s pic in Snapchat So I was on yikyak earlier and saw a post that caught my eye and thought was funny. I ended up dm’ing the op just so say hey and see what was up. Turns out she was a college student in my town. (I’m 24 for reference) I always make sure whoever I’m talking to is chill with my age etc. We get to talking and she asks what I look like. We end up moving the conversation to snapchat. She sends a pic and I send a pic. It goes back and forth for a little bit so I decide so save one of the live pics she sends in the chat, not to my camera roll or anything. Literally did it just to remember what she looks like. Within 5 seconds she unadds me on snap and deletes the dm thread on yikyak. Of course now I’m like “ah shit”. I had no expectations of anything happening between me and her but now I’ve totally freaked this girl out and feel terrible. I make a post saying her first name and that I’m super sorry. One of her friends ended uo messaging me and I apologized profusely and said I totally understand why she unadded me and that it’s totally understandable if she doesn’t want to talk anymore. The message gets to her, but I still feel super sad about it and instantly regretted my decision. Tldr: I saved a girl’s pic on snapchat just to remember what she looked like, promoting her to unadd me, and now I feel super sorry. Schirenia: She was probably just scared and overreacted (she did definitely overreact imo, but I’m also a man so idk her perspective). If you weren’t on an anonymous platform it would have been fine, but it’s a little weird for you to save a regular ass photo of her in chat (given the previous anonymity), even if it was for a wholesome reason. Probably made her worry you would share it with somebody. I know you already know most of this, just reiterating. Regardless sounds like you two are both chronic over thinkers and you dodged a more stressful bullet down the line DestoryDerEchte: Yeah, you have to be careful on the Internet, especially as women

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pettyturdchucker: TIFU by throwing a turd at a lady Earlier this evening I got into a scuffle with an assumed neighbor, and we ended up throwing dog poo at each other. How this started. I work from home and hear my dog going nuts at the front window. When I peeked outside, I noticed a lady was letting her dog up into my yard to bark back at my dog. She was pointing and laughing while my dog is trying to break through the window to get at them. I showed her the correct finger for the situation and yelled to move along. She did. I wish it would have ended there. Fast forward to dinner and I hear a thump on the front door right as I sit down to eat. Open up to see a bag of dog poo and that lady walking away quickly. I wasn't having the best day and this flipped a switch in me. With the bag in hand I jogged down the street and tossed it towards her, saying something like you forgot this on my porch. She warns me that I should not mess with her, picks up the bag and throws it at me, hitting me in the chest. Heated words were exchanged, and she turns around to leave. I grab the bag and throw it quite a bit harder this time. It hits her in the back, and it breaks. She screams something along the lines of me messing with the wrong woman, this is not over, only begun, and I have no idea what's coming. I tell her I have her on camera, shove my phone in her face and she leaves. I get home, throw away a nice fish dinner, and start installing some cameras I never got around to putting up. Cool, another subscription fee. Since then I've been on and off sitting outside in the dark, watching my house, for her to return. Not sure what I'll do if she does, but now I've cooled down enough to type all this. I am mortified by my actions, and extremely concerned what she may do. She knows where I live. The idea that my hot head could lead to some property damage, or worse if she comes after my dog or partner is killing me inside. TLDR: I got into a fight with crazy, and I'm sure I'll lose this war somehow. Edit Update: First off, no sleep thanks to Reddit and cam movement notifications. Anyway, she walked by again, and I got good photos of her! If it wasn't obvious, I was bluffing when I said I had her on camera last night. As an elder millennial I am quick to get my phone out but finding that camera button is not my strong suit when tensions are high. While I may not have her in the act, I've got something now. Also, you can see her seeing the cameras, making them obvious was intentional when I set them up last night. I didn't stop there though, I had to try a squash this. So I once again ran out to talk to this lady. Took the high road this time. I apologized for my part. Both the finger, and the confrontation in general. Leaving out the poo flinging parts, if you throw it and me I'll throw it at you. I tried to let her know I was in a bad head space, and I hope we can put this down. She was very quiet the whole time. I think I caught her off guard. She nodded a bunch and accepted my apology. Nothing else to say in return. I then told her she has a beautiful dog, she said thanks and we parted ways. After that I returned to the poo flinging site for a daylight investigation. I found the turds and cleaned up what I could. Yeah, I routinely pick up other dog turds in front of my house, so this is no big deal. The good news here is that it showed me that nothing stuck to her, must have bounced off. I'm hoping between that and an apology that this is over. Thanks for all the kind words, suggestions, and jokes they all helped with the stress this has been causing. Great job on that Reddit! maciver6969: Call the local police and let them know, so you now have a police report in case she comes back and does something stupid. Then you call again and have both the previous report and the new one to use to hold her accountable. pettyturdchucker: I feel like I don't have enough information on her for a police report. Cameras are up now, but I did not catch the original act. maciver6969: Doesnt matter, having at least a report of her actions known by the police will help YOU if she does come back and do something. Doing it in the heat of the moment is one crime, planning something after the fact is a much harsher penalty and having that 1st report allows that. It shows both a history and that the 2nd event was premeditated. Grab the burst bag of shit so they can pull fingerprints later if she does something violent. They also have doggie poop dna now too - so you have that as proof as well. When people are nuts you have to cover your ass fully, and make sure they go to jail for the longest time when they do crack. dramignophyte: Thats all correct besides the "grab finger prints off a broken bag of dog shit." This isn't CSI. You're lucky to get cops to pull prints when you have an actual finger print perfectly made on glass or a wall.heard a story of a guy who straight up had like a glass with csi level finger prints plainly visibly and tried having the cops check it out and they got laughed at. maciver6969: It all depends on if she comes back and does something violent. Having something she touched can help id her if she did something violent and stupid later. The wont do prints for low level crap ever. You have to make them do their jobs all the time anyway. dramignophyte: I also mean you wont be finding usable prints on it, I kinda lost that point by transitioning onto the police indifference part. edit: to be clear it isn't that you can't get prints off a paper bag, it's that A) op touched it b) it was damaged and c) it's more difficult to get prints off paper bags even though you totally can. maciver6969: Very true depending on luck and circumstance. Mainly it is additional evidence that they can show she was there for the 1st attack and have documentation of her attack if she does something else stupid. If OP was suddenly murdered right after he made a report they will go over the bag with a fine tooth comb. If she comes back and just throws shit at him they wont do any testing but with the 1st report he has evidence she did it before so they can then charge her with all the minor crimes then what she does next. Mainly I feel the bag is useful only if she does a violent crime later to him. - but some people ARE insane so better safe than sorry? I am in the old school opinion keep everything from a crime just in case it is needed, even knowing they wont do anything they dont want to. Cover all bases, all situations and then IF, IF happens you dont have an oh fuck moment lol. dramignophyte: I agreed with you on every point from the get go besides the finger prints part.

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OmankoMan_Rokujukyu: TIFU by letting my instructors see my cock doodle. I want to start off by saying that I've never had a job and that this is my first time in a professional setting ever. The fuck up happened literal minutes ago and my breathing is still uneven and shaky. I joined a company 3 months back and it's the training period currently. I graduate tomorrow, so I brought a notebook today just to note down names and such for the preparations. Unfortunately, I'm an idiot, and I brought THE book. I have a terrible sense of humor, and I thought drawing a person launching cocks out of a "cocket-launcher" would be hilarious. What's worse, I wrote down the name of my company but changed one of the alphabets into a dick. Through the devil's work, the notebook somehow found its way into my instructors' hands. Now I work in customer service, and my instructors are VERY strict. They check on our tone, verbiage, appearance etc and are brutal with words. They saw my work of art, and called me for a talk. They told me that this is the worst thing they've ever seen any of their trainees do, and that they were extremely offended, not just as part of the company but as women. I was given a chance to defend myself, and I came clean and told them that I have an obscene sense of humor and how embarrassed and apologetic I am for what has happened. It's very difficult to make it look like I'm sorry for doing something when I'm actually only sorry for getting caught, but I'd say I did a decent job. The instructors told me that they're pardoning me as this is the first disciplinary deviation they've seen from my end. Putting on the facade and sucking up to them all these days worked out, and I guess that sums up customer service. I need some urgent advice on how to face them from now though, especially with tomorrow being the goddamn graduation. TL;DR: Instructors saw my drawing of the company logo with one of the alphabets changed into a dick, fortunately didn't get fired but have no idea how to face them. ShhhHesWatchingUs: Thats a proper FU. I only have 1 question after reading about this situation you find yourself in. Was it a semi, or fully automatic cocket-launcher? OmankoMan_Rokujukyu: Both. It has dimension bending powers and pulls out left over dicks from other universes to load into the launcher. The base round is a regular size dick, but if you miss 3 consecutive shots then it gets loaded with Indian dicks. If you hit more than 3 targets with a single cocket however, the launcher then fires BBCs full auto until you miss a shot. ShhhHesWatchingUs: Thats a fully developed weapon. Any lore that goes along with it? Forged in the hell fires by Valkyre warriors? OmankoMan_Rokujukyu: You're close. Once upon a time in universe 39487765, there lived a warrior king. He was loved by most and feared by the rest. He had unwavering will and strength, but couldn't get over the fact that he had a micropenis. He assigned the country's, nay, the world's greatest forgemasters to develop the mightiest organic thruster and promised the greatest riches for the same. Years went by with the most advanced scientists working alongside masters of the penile forge, when one mad scientist went too far. The penis he made, was sentient. The sentient cock, Willus the black, started a revolution to free not only all the failed experiments being used as lab cocks but also the ones attached to the inferior human race. Eventually they wiped out all humans, but the dicks missed out on an important detail: they can't remain sentient without the neural signals emitted by the human brain. And thus in the universe 39487765 there was a planet left with nothing but regular dicks. This planet was first discovered by the pituitarians, the most advanced race in the multiverse, occupants of universe 1 and the inventors of multiversal travel. The pituitarians were confused as to what the dicks were as they lacked reproductive organs and had never seen dicks before in any other universe. After deciphering the planet's warrior history, they ultimately came to the conclusion that it's an advanced organic weapon, and came up with a launcher device that could utilise its destructive power. Once the weapon was completed however, they realised that dicks are just dicks. They have no potential to be used as weapons and so they discarded the weapon into the garbage dump of the multiverse: universe 39486900, into planet Earth. The rest is unknown.

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koppanis: TIFU by falsely claiming credit So I never lie, but this time it just slipped out before I noticed. As one might expect, karma always finds a way though. I was having a good time at a bar with some friends. We were discussing some current events in my life and I thought I'd show them a meme I made recently about the subject. It contained a picture of a sign which was all over town that was related to the topic. I showed them the meme and I got some laughs. I put my phone away, but at the same time my best friend said: "I've seen that before." To which I replied: "yeah could be the sign is all over town." He then responded: "No, I mean I've seen that exact photo on Reddit today." At this moment the whole group fell silent and was staring at me. I had in fact seen the sign, taken a photo when I got the idea for the meme, but then forgot about it. When I saw a post of the sign on Reddit, I downloaded that picture to make my meme as the camera quality was way higher. With the whole group still staring at me I quickly and stupidly answered: "That was me." Even though I've never even posted anything before. I instantly felt bad about lying and claiming some random person's post though. I had planned to tell my friend the full story later and did not want to bother anyone with the full explanation. I just wanted to forgo the whole story and move on with the conversation and thought this was an easy way. It worked at first, but although the conversation was rolling on and evolving, my friend kept bringing the subject back up with statements like: "How funny I saw your post", "What a coincidence I saw your picture online today" and "Was that really you?" And I dug my grave deeper by shortly replying "yeah." each time to try and get him to drop the subject. Then after a while he stopped and I thought I could put it behind me. Boy was I wrong. Suddenly he drunkenly shouted: "ohhhhhh, I know your username now!" All I could think of was: "Fuck, what did I get myself into now..." As he and another friend were discussing how many Reddit accounts they had, I quickly tried to find the OP of the picture I used. After 5 minutes of searching I found the post and account. And of course, as the pinnacle of karma would have it, the username was somewhere along the lines of "I am a virgin and I like to put stuff up my butt". With some posts in some very NSFW subreddits, but also nowhere something to prove it couldn't be me. Same country, around the same age, posted something about trying to find a partner one year before I found my GF. And I could go on. At this point I also had some beers and found the courage to tell another friend about the ironic situation I had gotten myself into. He, off course, immediately began laughing out loud and told the whole group. Whom at this point didn't believe me anymore and thought I was just trying to backpedal because I got "found out". I quickly realised I had no way of talking myself out of it and decided it was best to just leave it at that. So now all of my friends think I'm into pegging and such. All because I thought it was a hassle to tell them the full story and was too proud to get out of it while I still could. Learn from my mistakes, I most certainly did. A white lie is a lie, no matter how white it might seem. TL;DR I lied about posting a picture, now all my friends think I'm into pegging cliktrak: I guess you have to get into pegging then. beeerice_n_sons: The obvious choice here.

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tree_breeze: TIFU by losing my keys and getting locked out of my room I live in a sharehouse, and each of our rooms have a deadbolt on them. Today I decided to deadbolt my room because I thought my landlords were coming in and my housemates warned that they can sometimes snoop. FU#1 I went into work and it was busy so I put my stuff down and jumped straight into it. I thought I had put my house/car keys in my bag and didn't check it throughout my 9hr shift. FU#2 At the end of my shift (11:15pm), I'm checking my bag to make sure I have the 2 most important items before leaving: keys and phone. Phone, check. Keys? Nowhere to be seen. I ransacked the office and found nothing. Im now panicking, wondering where tf i put them, and realised I put them into my high vis jacket pocket (FU#3). It's now important to note that I work in car rentals, and had been in and out of the office and into a few cars throughout my shift. They could be in any of the dozens of cars that went on rent tonight. And, my keys had slipped from my pocket before and I almost lost them, hence why I usually triple check to put them in my bag. Now you may be asking, what about your spare car key, do you have one? The answer to that is yes I do... in my now deadbolted room that I, in a stroke of genius, decided to lock before my shift. Luckily my colleague was able to drive me home and my housemate let me in, so I'm not sleeping out in the cold tonight. But tomorrow will feature a call to the locksmith and going into work on my day off and spending the day looking at cameras to try figure out what cars I had been into, if they are on rent, and whether the customer is kind enough to look for them and let me pick them up. That is, if that's where they disappeared to Tldr: deadbolted my room and lost my keys at work, now have to pay to get my room unlocked and go on a wild goosechase for my house and car keys maciver6969: What side of the door are the hinges on? If on the side you are on you can tap out the pins and take the door off slowly and carefully then just set the door down and you can then get your spare key and remount the door. [https://www.thisoldhouse.com/doors/21128431/all-about-doors](https://www.thisoldhouse.com/doors/21128431/all-about-doors) see the door on the right see how the hinge pins are outside the room and the other 2 are in the room. Hope that helps. Hope you find the keys painlessly too. tree_breeze: The hinges are unfortunately on the other side on the door, but that would have been a great idea! Thank you, I hope some kind soul calls up tomorrow morning and miraculously has found them.

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rivarishinweez: TIFU my hobbies ruining my long term relationship [removed] Ashensukar: I assume you mean cooking oil, rather than oil at boiling temperature? Wouldn't it be better to get some prescibed ointment for your condition? Calling dipping your balls in oil a hobby seems a bit weird rivarishinweez: I would consider it hobby due to my personal preference, because most do not use boiling version. Yes I do mean cooking oil friend, thank you. What sort of ointment? Ashensukar: I assume a pharmacy will have some products that are better for your skin condition than cooking oil.

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FlubromazoFucked: TIFU by missing the fact the best thread was locked, and then invested almost an hour reading it and the comments, then getting invested to the point I made my own thread asking why, therefore wasting more of my time. [removed] ItsHowWellYouMowFast: Medication, are you taking it FlubromazoFucked: Hmmmm considering you answered nothing, this is completely invalid, if you have an option on moderator censorship. I would be more than happy to have a conversation. If all your takeaway is about medication then you are sadly missing the entire point. The rules are stated as 750 characters and it must be about you fucking up and it having real repercussions, therefore I had to word it close to how I did. Because time is a real loss and it hits the character mark. My point was when is mod censorship acceptable, and further more why randomly lock some but not all topics. Should a guy in his basement have the power to end an entire discussion for many people, when there is no valid reason too? Like I said what can you expect though from a site that has become so soft like the majority of the rest of the world. So if you actually want to have a meaningful conversation about the subject shoot your argument. Otherwise kindly fuck over to /rule34 or something similar. edited for spelling, p.s. downvote all you want, but yet not one person has come in and actually given any reason as to why blind censorship is a good thing. but its reddit so what can I expect. ItsHowWellYouMowFast: Oh so it's an unhinged copy pasta rant. Got it FlubromazoFucked: Oh I wish, no I legit wrote this out as I was bothered. blonsk: Maybe go outside. FlubromazoFucked: Do people just not care? like Reddit/Mods can just lock or take down subreddits as they please cause most just don't care? this was a truly legit question to establish if people are bothered by random at will censorship, or not. It seems most of the replies have missed the point entirely. But again you probably agree with deplatforming people who have opinions that you don't share. Very basic example would be twitter, before Musk bought it and unbanned everyone that didn't violate TOS, even if you don't like or agree with what someone says they have the right to say it, as well as be part of discussions. Randomly locking a thread ends the discussion, that's problematic, and if you don't see that then well TIFU big time, wasting my time. and you should really think about things like this more. ​ Takes meds, Go outside, garbage from morons too stupid to engage in actual conversation, kind of pathetic tbh.

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DrownedXoXo: TIFU By getting black out drunk and putting myself in the hospital This happened 2 days ago and I still feel like shit... Ever since I first started drinking I have always had a bit of an alcohol problem. I have a really high alcohol tolerance, ADHD, and a lot of mental baggage. So when I start drinking... I dont stop. Usually this results in just being really drunk and having a good time. Not this time. 2 days ago I got back to my university accommodation after the Christmas break and went out drinking with my friends. Half a bottle of vodka, some cider and a few shots of god knows what... I dont remember anything. According to my friends there were places we went to, things I did and said that I have no memory of. The last things I remember are knocking on peoples doors, the world going upside down, my bathroom floor, ambulance people... and boom. Waking up in hospital at 4am. I could barely stand up straight as I tried to find a nurse or someone to tell me where the fuck I was. They told me that I had way too much to drink and that I should count myself lucky that I didnt have alcohol poisoning. Apparently after going out to some other places and the party dying down, me and my closest friend at university went back to my flat. Where I passed out, wouldnt wake up and was violently shaking. Luckily that friend (who will be referred to as bob) doesnt drink and they called an ambulance. Bob took me back to my flat, and let me know that my parents are on their way....... My parents live on the coast of north-east Scotland. I live in Glasgow..... I felt, and still feel, so bad for making them worried and driving 4-5hrs just to look after me. Bob and another friend 'mark' babysat my still very drunk but at least conciouse ass for a few hrs while my parents made their way down to Glasgow. Luckily they werent mad, just very glad that I was ok and looked after me for the following day. I still cant really believe that during my first week back at university... I put myself in the hospital.I missed two classes and I have an assignment due tomorrow. Its been 2 days and I STILL feel like death. Wish me luck I guess :/ TL;DR I got REALLY drunk and put myself in the hospital, I dont remember anything for the most part. I also have class work due but I feel like shit... fun stuff. [deleted]: Alcoholics think they’re victims and have a habit of feeling bad for themselves. It’s often rooted in a kind of narcissistic thing. Your behavior has an impact on others, and can even result in the death of others. You sound like someone who should never drink ever, at all, period. Stay away from alcohol, you can not handle it. DrownedXoXo: Thats the plan. As hard as it is to hear, its the truth. Thank you <3 Unrealgecko: Bob’s a good guy. He’ll probably go into a field where he helps people.

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CrashMirandacoot: TIFU by making both my roommates cry I have recently been getting into spicy foods. It feels like lately I've been adding Sriracha or Sambal to pretty much every meal I can. I also have a couple friends who have been like this for a long time, I don't think they really enjoy any meal unless they can add some kind of kick to it. One day, we were all getting lunch together and they were talking about their favorite peppers. They both seemed to agree that Serrano Peppers were delicious and ranked among the best for flavor. Well, now I needed to to try them. The next weekend, I pick up a bag of Serrano Peppers and decide I'm going to cook them on their own to see what the flavor is like. Online, whatever I was looking at suggested I either cut them in half and roast them in the oven or roast them whole on the metal grating of a stove top, over an open flame (or grill them). Unfortunately, none of these were options for me. The oven was broken at the time and it was an electric stove. We also didn't have a grill. So, I decided to go off script. I thought, "I'll just combine some of these steps". I'll cut the peppers in half, then stir-fry them in a pan instead. That should work fine, right? Well, after a couple minutes of cooking, I notice my eyes start to sting. I don't immediately realize why. So I cook a little longer and now there are tears forming in my eyes. The stinging doesn't stop and finally it clicks. I take the pan off the burner and scramble to find a lid for the pan. Now I'm in a coughing fit and there are tears rolling down my cheeks. My eyes are on fire. I get the peppers covered and I hear, from upstairs, someone else is coughing. Then another someone else is coughing. Ah, shit. I head upstairs to find my roommates and explained what was happening to them, as the listened with watery eyes. TL;DR - I tear gassed my roommates with hot peppers. Jam0412: Hey, we’ve all been there. I was making fried chicken a couple months ago and accidentally used chilli oil instead of olive oil. My dad could smell the chilli from about 30 meters away 😂 korinthia: Well olive oil would have been a botch also fwiw. Jam0412: Surprisingly, alive oil is actually pretty good for frying. In my opinion anyway. korinthia: The smoke point of olive oil is right around the temperature you fry at if you overheat the oil at all it’s going to burn. There’s no reason not to use a more stable oil. Jam0412: Fair enough

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[deleted]: TIFU by reading the notebooks my parents make before marriage. [deleted] jaffa3811: but what was in them op? [deleted]: Stuff about sex, couples therapy, kids, parenting, work. jaffa3811: ahhh, stuff that couples need to discuss to have a healthy relationship, that shouldn't really be talked about infront of their kids. [deleted]: Yup they did nothing wrong I was just nosy af

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[deleted]: TIFU by not taking valuable advice and losing custody of my daughter I don’t know what to do. I left on Tuesday. I had a hotel room Tuesday night but could not get enough money for one last night so my daughter (11) and I slept in my car. I promised her that would be the last time we had to do that. I was advised by many people to file for emergency custody but didn’t and when I showed up to drop my daughter off at school this morning ex was there with another police officer and a temporary custody order. I don’t even know if I can fight this. I have no job, no money, no place to stay, and my husband is in law enforcement. On paper he looks perfect but he’s not. I promise you he’s not. I am going down to the courthouse now to see what my options are. He told them I was a danger to myself ! How the hell do I prove that I’m not. I should have listened. I can’t afford a lawyer. I don’t have a place for us until the 29th. I am broken. He’s going to destroy me worse than he already has because I didn’t follow the one piece of advice I should have. TL/DR I didn’t listen to advice and now my abusive ex has custody of my daughter. Malfunctioning_npc69: My sister is currently going through something similar, and maybe my opinion is a bit biased due to how stupid my sister has been acting but I find it extremely selfish and disgusting that OP would rather have her daughter sleeping in a car than in a house. Op then proceeds to try and get some sympathy by stating "I hope her doesn't do to her what he did to me" once again, what a dumb thing to say. I'm sure ops ex loves his daughter tremendously and just wants what is best for her. Op is a hot mess and needs a serious wake up call. audonehere: That’s pretty tone deaf to say the least. If ex cared about his daughter, he wouldn’t have put his hands on her mother. If he cared about his daughter, he would’ve divorced her mother and left peacefully rather than keep her mother around like a punching bag. As someone who’s mother left an abusive situation, was it ideal living in a car? Not at all. But it was better than living where we did. Maybe *i’m* biased because I’ve lived through it, but her trying to protect her daughter by leaving an abusive situation is far from selfish. It takes a lot of courage and selflessness to put her pride on the back burner to try to do what’s right for her daughter and herself. I wouldn’t wish you to understand her predicament, but try not to be judgemental of others circumstances. Big_Swagwood: You do not know if this woman is telling the truth. Moreover, you think that putting a child into a situation where they’re living in cars with a jobless person is protecting the child? Damn. I hope you don’t have children. audonehere: You are right about that, I don’t know whether she is telling the truth. I can only speak from my own experience as a child who lived through that. In my personal experience, living in a car with my mother, who had no job, was much better than living in the abusive household that we were living in. This isn’t a clear black and white situation (DV situations with children involved is never easy). If what OP was saying was true, then at least her heart was in the right place (though the situation unfortunately isn’t working out for her). I can only wish her the best of luck in this situation and hope she betters herself. Malfunctioning_npc69: Sorry about your trauma. unfortunately it's very unhelpful of you to project your own (very rare) trauma on everyone else and their situations. Most fathers love their children, I'm sorry yours didn't. (It shows) Op kidnapped her kid and was forcing her to live in a fucking car. Please get a grip on reality. audonehere: I appreciate your input, even the inconsiderate comment you made. For the record, I don’t condone children living in a car. It was unfortunate what I went through, but it made me stronger and taught me a lot. I’m thankful you obviously never experienced that. With that being said, I hope you take a good look at what COVID did to the United States; lots of people were experiencing homelessness (including children) so it isn’t as rare as you may think. Malfunctioning_npc69: You literally have 3 paragraph long comments specifically defending and condoning children living in a car. I don't argue with stupid, have a great night! audonehere: Well, I’ll accept your opinion. I hope you have the night you deserve 🫶

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Actual_Tax3258: TIFU by getting attacked by a stray dog while jerking off Yes. So I’ve been out in the country visiting my parents for the last month because my dad had knee surgery in December and my mother has a broken foot. During the day I help them out, run errands, lift things, reach things, fix things, feed things, and so on and so forth. They have a glass of wine or two around 5 and are *done* for the day by six. Which leaves me with ~6 hours to kill with nothing but my old room, the internet, copious amounts of wine and weed and a snowy country landscape to wander around in. I regressed to high school levels of bored horniness *very quickly*, and my girlfriend works nights. So now I have to mention that I have a “spot” way out in the woods. It’s basically a huge rock in a clearing overlooking a gorge and it’s really beautiful at night. My friends and I all used to go out there and drink and have bonfires when we were younger. I used to jerk off over the side of the cliff when I was alone. It was exhilarating. Particularly awesome during full moons. Yes kind of like Homelander in that one scene from The Boys. But like, crunchier and hopefully less sociopathic. Last Monday I went out for a walk with a nice bottle of red wine and a joint and wound up at the spot. It was a full moon. My gf had sent me some quality research material earlier in the night before she went to work. Reddit…I was turnt. I took my shit out and was hard as a rock in no time. Pumping away into the night. Dick in one hand, bottle of wine in the other, getting ready to bust a tremendously satisfying nut all over the valley. And then a rabbit ran right by me. Middle of the night. Mid winter. Running for it’s life. I looked to my right and right there, lit up in the moonlight at the edge of the tree line, a fucking dog. Then came the growl. I had to think fast, and my first thought was “dude get your fucking dick back in your pants.” And so I did that, and somehow managed not to get it stuck in my zipper in the process. This pretty much maxed out my time and pretty much the moment I had that task completed this thing had latched itself onto my arm and I was screaming and cursing and punching and eventually I managed to get him pretty good in the gut, he let go, I took out my knife with a bottle in one hand, knife in the other I started screaming as we squared off. Bastard took off into the woods and *absolutely* stalked me the whole way home. Had to get a few stitches and a rabies shot and now have the unfortunate new job of walking around with my dad’s rifle trying to find this thing and hopefully you know, not have to shoot it. Was definitely starving. Not sure I’ll find it alive. Really lucky I was wearing my very thick wool coat / not in the process of ejaculating or it would have been a lot worse. TLDR: Was in the process of a wine driven moonlit emission when I was attacked by a starving stray dog. edit - lol **NSFW** SpiritTalker: Make sure you update us when you rescue the poor fella and adopt him as your own! Actual_Tax3258: OP will attempt to deliver. But I won’t lie to you, this optimism is a big morale boost but probably misguided. It’s been long enough since the encounter - and wet and cold enough - that if we don’t find him today or tomorrow at the latest it’s a lost cause. It may already be :/ intdev: One of my neighbours’ dogs went missing, and her son found it almost two weeks later, and it’d been stuck down a badger hole the whole time. They can be surprisingly resilient. Actual_Tax3258: Ya I mean, we aren't giving up, I'm here for another few weeks and really don't have shit to do so this is my project. Thinking about borrowing my brother's drone but it's very expensive and he's not here and I'd say there is as much a chance I wreck it as I find the dog. Jessichenko: I'm gonna be living for the update. Actual_Tax3258: I would really love to be the guy that follows through. Jessichenko: I believe in you OP. Even if you have questionable masturbation practices. Actual_Tax3258: We are all whores in some way, Mr. Finkelstein. Shakenbaked: Plot twist: OP is actually GamGam

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somethingsomeone24: TIFU by borrowing money form my Girlfriend I (F25) borrowed $2,000 from my girlfriend’s (F25) credit card to pay for my parents overdue rent to avoid eviction. My Mom came to me asking for help to pay their overdue rent. At the moment. I didn’t have any money to help pay for the rent so I asked my Gf to lend me some money. She knew me and my family is struggling to make money right now cause some of the business transactions we have fell through. So she was adamant and concern on how we can pay her back at all. I understand the concern and it’s valid to think. But I on the other hand was expecting a big check in two weeks time so I was confident that I can pay her back right a way. A day before the big check,I borrowed another $400 to treat my family out. (It was incredibly stupid and irresponsible of me to do this) I told my girlfriend that I would have the check tomorrow she was and still concerned and scared about spending more of her money. The day came, my GF and I we’re excited to pick up the check. But the company suddenly had a change of mind. They decided not to release the check, for unknown reason. The owner refused to say or even acknowledge when they will pay me. My heart sank. I was close to crying on that meeting knowing that I cannot pay her back on time. She on the other hand was pissed at the owner and me. When we came home. My GF was depressed and pissed for what happened that day (I don’t blame her, I blame myself). She clearly was holding back her emotions and tears for what happened. I told her to let it all out to say what she has to say to me and that I would accept it. I apologize over and over again. But the damage is done. She doesn’t trust me anymore. She’s mad at my family and me for spending money that we don’t have. I regret and blame myself. I hate that I put her in that position. I assured her that we would pay her bill before the due comes. But she doesn’t trust me anymore. I’m such a lowlife right now I know and she knows that. Everything changed now. She barely talks to me. I miss her so much this pass few days. Even though we’re in the same house. It feels like she’s a thousand miles away. I love her so much. I’m scared of losing her. TL;DR I borrowed money from my girlfriend. I failed to pay her back on the said day. And I hate myself for doing it. FlailingDuck: Your GF gave you permission to take $2000 dollars. I'm under the assumption she didn't proceed to give you further permission to take another $400? In which case you stole $400 from her. No doubt she doesn't trust you. Why would you treat your family with somebody elses money and not just wait 2 weeks when you thought you would have the money yourself, grow up man. blahbleh112233: Something tells me this isn't the full story, or a one off occurrence of very poor money management Sinov1983: Spending money you don’t have, borrowing money to loan it to someone else. This seems like mismanagement is OPs financial strategy.

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therealangelinaa: TIFU by having s3x on my period, he was shocked lol [removed] DownrightDrewski: Yeah, you need to warn the guy... If you like him try to talk to him, but, he may be squeamish about this. SUPERSAMMICH6996: If for nothing else than that they may not immediately think 'period' and that instead, something horrific has happened. direhusky: Vagina Dentata!! bowlbettertalk: What a wonderful phrase!

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Monkeyheadcandy: TIFU had sex with my bf Me (26F) and my BF (25M) were in for a good time and we hit it of. So I pulled down his pants, we get it on with and we go to sleep because I have an important job interview the next day. I wanted to change careers without to much experience in the field I wanted to work in so I had to really sell myself in this interview. Morning comes around, I wake up in time, get all ready for my job interview and I was just about to leave when I noticed my bf has parked his car behind mine. So I ask him to move his car but he can’t find his keys anywhere. I get pretty upset because I need to leave if I want to make it on time for the interview. Lots of arguing: how can you lose your keys in the house, they are always in the same spot.. etc At one point, I was already running late for the interview, my bf looked at me with a face of terror and sprints upstairs. Turns out he left his car key in his trousers, the ones I pulled down the night before to get all fired up. TL;DR had an important job interview in the morning, bf parked his car behind mine and left the key in his trousers. Had sex and lost the key so was late for my interview. DandyRandysMandy: I guess you could say he should have… pulled out quicker Monkeyheadcandy: Or he put it in the wrong pocket hole tonagnabalony: Or he FUCKED up your interview WhitDawg214: You really got screwed, here.

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[deleted]: TIFU by pretending to be an opposite sex [deleted] pthomsen91: You are a pretty sick and twisted 16 year old. pinktieoptional: For experimenting with their identity online? That's a shitty thing to say to anyone, especially a kid. pthomsen91: 😂 pinktieoptional: Found the one uncomfortable with their own masculinity. pthomsen91: Oh yes!

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idoescompooters: TIFU by accruing $145 in long distance call charges for a job interview Nothing too much to say here. I had a job interview video call to do. It was supposed to be 30 minutes but ended up going for an HOUR (at the time I had no idea I was being charged $$$). The MS Teams app on my personal MacBook Pro was royally fucked and not connecting to internet at all while using my phone hotspot. My work phone was locked because I forgot my password (Face ID wasn't working), so I couldn't use my work phone MS Teams app. The worst part is… I had fucking MS Teams app on my personal phone but didn't even think to try it. The reason the audio only phone number was long distance is because it was a European number, since the company is European based. However, the position I applied for is located in the US. Anyways, good news is he said it sounds like I’m their guy. TL;DR MS Teams app wouldn't work, so I called a European audio-only MS Teams phone number for 1 hour and now have to pay Verizon $145 for long distance call. NeObi-WanKenoLetItBe: Follow up with an email thanking them for their time. No one does this, so it will make you stand out. Once they start making offers, once you get to the finish line, ask to be reimbursed for the cost of the call. I guarantee you, they won't bat an eye at getting you squared away. idoescompooters: I don't have their email. I already said I appreciate his time at the very end. The first interview was just HR pre-screen, and this one was basically another pre-screen but with my prospective boss. The next one is with the team for some technical questions. Also, I'm already 1 out of 4 left of the total 64 that applied. And he said he's looking for a junior engineer as opposed to someone with 6 years experience anyway. That's an interesting thought about asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the call. Also my "expected" salary which is essentially a lateral move for me, is already "very slightly above" what they were thinking. NeObi-WanKenoLetItBe: Slightly above is good. As you move up in your career, the thought is, you get what you pay for. People don't brag about how cheap their lawyers and accountants are. I would investigate to find their emails. Linkedin, google. Figure out the pattern of how they set up their emails. First initial, lastname @ whatever.com. Say what you know its a little unconventional but you wanted to reach out to thank them for their time, explain WHY you're perfect for the role. And thank them again. I've beat out 360 other candidates just by going the extra mile in the interview process.

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PaleontologistDue401: Tifu by signing a document accusing me of something I did not do. Yesterday at my work I had a little situation with a guy who is supposed to be a group leader/a guy who is trying to keep everything in order hybrid. One of his responsibilities is to give different roles to different people (I work in a logistics company). He put me on the hardest role on Monday and on Wednesday, which is the day that situation happened. At work we have enough people to switch positions everyday for about two weeks without anybody being on same position twice. Yet I had to be on this particular position twice with one day between. In my opinion it’s not fair with the fact that I haven’t been on the easiest position in a veeery long time while everybody else was there once at least every week. I mentioned it to the guy who gives roles but his response was “ok” with a smile on his face. I just went with the hardest position because why should I start a fight or something. After work was done I was ordered to do one more thing to which I responded by saying to this guy that he should help me just because, I was angry. I came closer to him and grabbed his arm not in a aggressive way, more like dance/leading way. He said that it is not his responsibility and he won’t do this so I just went and did it myself. The following day (today) I was told I will have a meeting with this guy and the boss. On the meeting I had to explain what happened but before I even started, I was handed a document where it said that “I refused orders that the group leader gave me” and I had to explain why I did this. I wrote something like this “I was on this position both on Monday and on Wednesday which resulted in me having back pain today.” And then I was told to sign the document I everything is okay. And here is the fuckup. I did sign it. After I signed it, it came to me that those accusations weren’t true and I signed something I didn’t do and now I have a warning and a step closer to being fired. I am young, straight out of school and there are things that I don’t understand how they work, it’s one of those things. TLDR: Title NeedsMaintenance_: You do seem young. You're going to get shit assignments, especially if you're lower in seniority, and you're going to get them often. It's not fair, I guess, but it's generally how things work; I've never been in a work place where that hasn't been true. Part of how you get better assignments is, yes wait to gain some seniority, but also to just do the work without complaining. A lot of managers also (rightfully imo) operate under the belief that if a worker can't handle the worst assignments (which still need to be done), then why should they get the best ones? And sometimes shit just isn't fair. There could be reasons you don't know about as to why you got assigned the crappy job twice in a row, suck it up. If it becomes an ongoing problem for a longer time then you've maybe got an argument for being picked on. As far as I'm concerned, you're being silly right now. Attitude gets noticed at work, and you often get treated accordingly. Try growing up a little, maybe you'll start seeing a change in how things are for you in the workplace. Your FU wasn't signing the thing, it was having a shitty attitude. PaleontologistDue401: Except that I am no longer a newbie in this job. I am a part of the team. I can do both the “senior” assignments and “newbie” assignments. Everyone can do those even those who work tens of years there. Everyone at my job has the same contract and I see that it is true but I am the only one who always says yes to all the assignments and always gets moved midday to a different assignment even though we should have only one position a day. I politely asked if I could be on a different position which I have been on before but it was a few weeks ago while others were there at least once in a week/two weeks. That is when I got the smile and simple “ok” as if “okay, I don’t care” as a response. I believe that I am the one that is not being taken seriously even though I can be on almost every position and I am being used. My fuck up is not my attitude but the fact that I did sign the document that accused me of something I didn’t do. It looked like it but it wasn’t true. It was just the “team leader” who saw it his way and my lack of experience in such situations made me just shut up about how I saw it and just sign it. This guy isn’t much older than me, it doesn’t mean I don’t respect him because I do. I always listen to him and I do everything as good as it is possible but sometimes he’s being childish and want you to know that he rules the place. He has the power, he really does but sometimes he uses it not as it was intended but for his own pleasure. Malfunctioning_npc69: HAHAHAHAHA omg look at the little girl learning that the world isn't fair and she isn't the main character hahahaha Maybe next time you'll think twice about grabbing someone in a threatening manor. Despite what society has taught you, that gash in between your legs doesnt give you the right to touch people who don't want to be touched. PaleontologistDue401: Me touching him wasn’t the problem, nobody ever mentioned it, he does often comes to me and pokes me with his fingers in my stomach or back. It was no threatening, nobody saw it that way except you who read it wrong. If me grabbing the guy was the problem then I think it might’ve been much worse for me than a warning, I would possibly be fired right away and police would be called on me but it isn’t the case. The reason of the whole situation was me “refusing” to do what I was told which I never refused to do. Nobody is the main character here, we are all equal and higher positions doesn’t give you right to treat people like shit for your own pleasure. If you think that it is okay then sure go with it, because you’re no main character and anybody can do anything to you without you getting a chance to say anything against it. Malfunctioning_npc69: Oh I'm sorry I figured you already accepted the fact that your attitude is piss poor. I guess you haven't gotten there yet. It's ok OP one day you'll grow up (hopefully).... if not, I see a lot of job hoping in your future. I find it hilarious that everyone who has commented on here has told you the same thing and you still won't accept reality. Have a nice life op, I don't argue with stupid

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Tim3-Rainbow: TIFU by making all my clothes sparkle. So this actually happened two or three weeks before Christmas, but I am still suffering the repercussions of it. After getting the Christmas tree set up and putting a tree skirt under it, my dog decided to give us the first present by pissing in the floor. His urine river ran onto the side of the skirt. I toss it in the washing machine (alone of course), and then the dryer. Days go by and everything is normal until I wash a load of bath towels and they all come out of the dryer sparkly. That's when I remembered the fucking tree skirt was covered in sparkles. Two washes later and the sparkles on the towels remain. Even weeks later when I'd get something out of the dryer, I'd have to shake the glitter off of it. Mostly though, it doesn't get attached to the clothes (much) anymore. Well someone in my house thought it would be a great idea to mix the sparkle towels back in with the rest of the towels. So today I take a shower, hop out, grab a random towel from the cabinet in the bathroom. I'm not wearing my glasses so I don't notice the trap I'm walking into. After drying off, I see, to my horror, that I'm sparkling at random points all over my body. It. Is. Everywhere. It doesn't come off and it is only visible when the light hits it a certain way. I feel like a discounted Christmas decoration. Tl;dr: Washed and dried a sparkly tree skirt and got it's glitter all in my dryer. All my clothes now sparkle, and I'm walking around looking like the vampire dude from Twilight. vizy1244: I think this should read "TIFU by living with someone that gets sparkles on everyone's shit" based off the 4th paragraph lol Tim3-Rainbow: Haha, if I'm being honest, I wasn't even the one that decided to put it in the wash, but I felt the wording fit the story better.

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lilblue01: TIFU by telling my partner about the hairy surprise he left me A rare FU, fresh from the warm shower. I (21F) have been with my partner (20M) for a little over a year now and we’d grown really comfortable with each other really quickly, to the point where we were engaged within 6 months of meeting each other. I love him very dearly and am completely okay with filling him inon the more intimate details of my life. Oh, how silly I am for that one and how I have never had regret consume me so. Today we got the rare opportunity to shower together. Because of our normally conflicting schedules, we usually don’t get moments like this so it was a nice distraction from the stressful morning we had. I told him that I was going to start the shower so he could finish up some cleaning in the bedroom. Not wanting to waste the precious hot water (and wanting to even use hot water since he is more of a serial-killer-cold-shower kind of guy) I hopped in early to get a head start. Due to the phenomenon of hot water hitting my very cold body, I immediately had to pee. Not a normal level of urination, but Niagara Falls consumed my bladder and needed a release sooner rather than later. I didn’t feel like sitting on the cold porcelain throne but I also didn’t feel like pissing myself, so I waited. By the time my partner got in the shower I could not hold anything in my body besides a hope that I would not pee on his feet. I politely excused myself and went to relieve the situation at hand . It was at this point when I remembered that I was on the tail-end of my period, so I did an instinctive check to make sure I hadn’t left an errant tampon in. I felt a string and went to pull the plug so I could hustle back to the shower. I gave a firm little tug and nothing was budging. I pulled again and was immediately met with the most intense uterine cramp that I had ever experienced. I am not well-versed in medieval torture, but this felt a lot like traveling back in time and getting flayed from the inside out. I was more intrigued than confused at this point, and slowly ran my finger down the phony tampon string. It wasn’t until I pulled a hairball out of my own cat that I realized what I was seeing. My fiancés pubes had somehow tangled around my IUD string and matted down into a very small hairball. I groaned in Disgust and Wonder, went to dispose of the stuff into the garbage and tried to just proceed with my shower. I yelled to my fiancé through the curtain and told him to look, and he peeked around the corner to see me holding Fido in my hand. He looked disgusted as if it wasn’t his own hair that did that. I laughed it off and told him it was gross, but it was something that never happened before and probably wouldn’t happen again. He started apologizing profusely and told me he would start landscaping if it meant I didn’t have to give birth to hair again. The shower ended up being about another 10 seconds of awkward apologizing and came to an unfulfilling end. Now, I’m sitting on the bed with a bruised uterus and a very apologetic man with little understanding that what goes in must come out. TL:DR; My fiancés pubes got caught on my IUD string over time and I caused our rare shower to end prematurely. Edit: His choice to keep his body hair, not mine. I have been with many a partner who has not taken the clippers near genitals and it’s not been an issue before this one isolated incident. He is just a black man with long curly pubes that get caught on things. If he wants to suffer through that, I let him. Also, I have been checked by my medical professional so thank you to everyone who told me to do that. All good here, just an unusually long IUD string that needed to be trimmed! grammarkink: How is this even possible? His pubes would either have to be really long, or on the tip of his penis to even reach your IUD. This makes no medical sense. It is more likely *your* hair getting pushed in when he goes in. If that's not possible then you might want to see your gyno ASAP. This isn't the least bit normal. lilblue01: He is just a man who sheds with very very long pubes, unfortunately. I keep myself shaved for my own preference. It hasn’t ever happened before so it was truly just a weird thing to happen but I’m not worried about it happening again. slavnar95: Time to shave bigfoot.

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AlmostChristmasNow: TIFU by being “allergic” to heat Three weeks ago, on New Year’s Eve, I discovered that I developed an allergy to peanuts. I ate a bunch and my throat started itching, but the allergy pills I have for hay fever fixed it. Ok, no problem, I guess I just shouldn’t eat a lot of peanuts anymore. Fast forward to tonight. I noticed that the roof of my mouth is swollen and hurts a little. With the background of recently discovering a new food allergy, I assumed that I must have become allergic to something else. So I started thinking about what I ate today, except none of it was anything people are commonly allergic to. I ate some candy between classes, some very hot fish’n’chips I ate really fast while waiting for the train and some french toast with nutella. Maybe I reacted to the eggs in the french toast? Maybe the nuts in nutella (my mum is allergic to nuts and also started developing allergies when she was in her 20s)? I also realised that I’d felt this way before, so maybe the new allergy actually isn’t new and I just never noticed it before? It took me way too long to realise that I’m not allergic to anything I ate today, I just burned the roof of my mouth on the too hot fish’n’chips I ate too fast. TLDR: I thought I’d developed a new food allergy, turns out I’m just an idiot who ate too hot food too fast. Aussiealterego: That's a funny ending, however you should be on the lookout for other triggers. It's common, once your body's histamine response has been activated in an allergy, for it to become more sensitive and reactive to allergens that you previously coped with. I would recommend *always* carrying an antihistamine, as a first response, in case of reaction. AlmostChristmasNow: Thanks for the tip! I already make sure I have the allergy meds with me for hay fever (I keep a blister strip in my wallet and at some friends’ houses), so I’m prepared in case of surprise allergies.

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Starburned: TIFU by asking a driver to move his truck [removed] -JaffaKree-: Were you parked in the delivery lane/spot? Starburned: Nope. -JaffaKree-: Then how did he block you in by parking parallel to you if you weren't at the curb? Starburned: It was perpendicular. I got the word wrong. -JaffaKree-: Well, if this happened the way you're saying, then he was unreasonable, but this definitely seems like there's something missing from the story. People aren't usually that spiteful without cause. furiousfran: And sometimes people are just dicks for no reason

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HallowedFire: TIFU by asking for regular gas instead of premium I rented a car in a Uruguay. When I pulled into a gas station, I was asked if I wanted regular or premium gas. Decided to get regular since I wasn't told I needed premium for the car. The car stalled after about a block. Unable to start the car. When the tow truck driver came, the tow truck driver immediately asked them if we put regular gas in the car instead of premium. When he towed car back to the rental car company, the rental car company asked the same question. When looked back at the gas stations, the regular gas was not referring to octane rating as it does in the US, but instead it was referring to a gas-oil mixture meant for 2 stroke engines (see photo in comments). I was supposed to get premium gas. Essentially, gummed up the engine with oil. Now get to deal with the insurance companies. TL;DR: Asked for regular gas instead of premium gas in a foreign country. Didn't realize that they gave me gas-oil mixture meant for 2 stroke engines. Car stalled within 1 block. HallowedFire: ​ https://preview.redd.it/q55muoede5da1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=b42d7744798d6bbe7f36c057f8a41140e6c20c6f krisdouglas: Gas oil is diesel... natecarlson: That would indeed cause problems!

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GLP0307: TIFU By Getting Into A Car With Strangers and Being Late for Work This happened about a decade ago. Obligatory on mobile. I used to live in the DC area and took advantage of "slugging," which is a form of commuting where "slugs" get in line at a public place and wait for a ride with a complete stranger to take advantage of the 3-person carpool lanes and beat rush hour traffic. This, to my understanding, was unique to DC and kind of fizzled out after they switched the carpool lanes to volume-based toll lanes a couple years after I left the area. Anyway, cars would line up looking for slug passengers. Some would just have a driver and need two slugs. Some would already have a passenger and just one slug. I always assumed some risk getting into cars with strangers, but I slugged off and on for 4 years and had probably hundreds of normal, pleasant trips that I cant recall a single detail of, but this one definitely stands out.  On this particular morning, I'm waiting in line behind Husband and Wife. There's another Woman behind me. When it's Husband and Wife's turn to get into a car, they tell me to ride with Wife because they always ride separately and see who gets to the dropoff point in the city first and it's Wife's turn to get a head start. Wife and I depart in this stranger's BMW and Husband gets into the next car (an Audi A5) along with Woman who had been waiting behind me in line. Apparently Husband tells the A5 driver about their little game and A5 Driver decides to aggressively weave through rush hour traffic to catch us. In the car with me, Wife laughs and waves as they pass us, explains to our BMW Driver what's happening, and suddenly we're in a full on race. We're doing 85-90 mph and get pulled over by VA state police. Reckless driving charge for BMW driver who gets a serious attitude, spits at the trooper, and was arrested on the spot. Another trooper shows up and Wife and I have to give statements, and the troopers decide it was all on the BMW Driver as Wife and I had both been demanding that he stop racing and slow down. Another trooper drives me and Wife into the city. As we're being dropped off, we see Husband being yelled at by Woman who rode with him and she starts going off on Wife, too. Woman had called the DC police who were already there. DC police take statements from everyone. VA Trooper is asking DC police for info on the Audi. Husband is telling police Woman struck him and he wants to press charges. Woman was saying Husband was egging on the Audi driver and the DC police seemed interested in charging Husband, tracking down the Audi Driver, and possibly charging Woman if they can get a witness to her hitting Husband. Police let me go before I found out who got charged or not. VA Troopers told me to expect to be summoned to court in VA as a witness to the actions of the BMW driver and maybe the Audi driver. DC police told me to expect to be summoned as a witness in DC, but neither ever happened. I ended up 3 hours late for work and got chewed out by multiple levels of bosses who were completely unsympathetic to my morning and I was written up tardiness. In all the chaos, I didn't think to notify anyone I was gonna be late. TL;DR Got into a car with strangers that turned into a race during rush hour, witnessed multiple crimes, had multiple encounters with police in multiple jurisdictions, and got disciplined at work for being late. iwishiwasatabbycat: That's better than my story. In high school my friend and I lived just barely too close to take a school bus. We live in MN and it was a crazy cold day so we were standing out for the city bus that was supposed to run every 20 minutes. After 45 minutes waiting we still didn't see a bus down the street and so we decided to hitch hike. We got picked up by drug dealers. They stopped in the middle of a major intersection to make a drug deal and were trying to talk us into going with them instead of school. They did drop us of, so alls well that ends well. But it was the last time we hitched a ride from strangers Birdbraned: That's also better than my story: I'd ordered an uber and they were across the street about to make a u turn to get to my side of the street when someone else coming out of the T intersection behind them hits their front right wheel from a rear approach. Gave the driver my take, they were nice enough to cancel, and I got another (for work)

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Jahastie55: TIFU by playing a recording to my family of my girlfriends sleep talking conversation. As it goes, this was actually about 5 years ago. Some back story, she’s always been a sleep talker and I did have a history of recording some for her to hear but usually deleted them after. Well one night I was awake in bed on my phone and she randomly lifted her head from her pillow facing me and said “I’m watching you.” Her eyes were completely closed so at first I thought it was a joke so I just said ‘Oh Reeeeally?’. She was laying back down at this point and said something about “Yea I could see the way you were sneaking looks at him dancing..” I guessed she was dreaming at this point so I started recording video and keeping the conversation going. It was mostly me asking her what she was talking about and each time she answered she got more and more spaced and annoyed so I figured I must be on the verge of waking her so I laid there quietly. Fast forward a year and she’s now my fiancé and we are hanging out with my father, two brothers, and nana. We had been drinking (all but nana and her) and discussing the sleep walking scene in ‘Step brothers’. And at some point we transitioned to sleep talking and how my Fiancé is a big sleep talker. I start scrolling through my phone to try and find an example to share, Ive scrolled through thousands of pictures because I usually delete the videos and I finally come across one. Which I thought was kinda odd, being how old it was but shrugged it off. It started playing and immediately my wife didn’t recognize this one and was kinda embarrassed to be on display while it was playing so she stepped out while we listened. Everything was normal and I started to remember it better. We laughed about some of it and the video was still going but it was quiet so I went to go stop it and right before I could, my voice comes up saying… “Weeellll, can I have a Blowjob?”. I slapped the pause button and started turning red, as everyone started laughing their asses and shouting “WHAT THE FUCK!” My dad was just sitting there taking it in while my nana was quickly trying to leave the room. My Fiancé heard the commotion and came back in asking what it was all about and my dad speaks up with “Wait wait wait! Hold on!-“ everyone was quiet and my heart was pounding “-…..Did it work??” My brothers started cackling again and I meanwhile was trying to subtly laugh it off and pull my fiancé away to explain what happened. She listened to the part and stopped it to reiterate what my father said “Wait did that actually work??” But I honestly couldn’t remember so we finished listening to the video and it was mostly silent after I asked for the BJ but it didn’t stop me apparently from asking again. Then finally hearing her grunt and say “…not now” And the video stopped. I was glad it didn’t anger her or cause any trust issues with us, but everyone it my family continues to tease me about it today. Any time something is about me or focused on me, they find a way to squeeze in something like “well, he just wants a blowjob.” Or “what was that thing you wanted? Kate said no..” it’s maddening and embarrassing and at this point getting old! TLDR: Recorded a conversation with my GF sleep talking, I forgot about the content and played it for my family to prove she does sleep talk. Recording ended with me asking her for a blowjob. Twice. Now I’m teased about it relentlessly. And no it didn’t work. Edit: Yes I know it’s not a crazy life altering FU but it’s one that continues to cause me dread every year so I figured it fits. But I should add how things ended with my Grandmother. She is extremely oldschool conservative Christian, the kind that openly rejects progress of any sort. Electronics are stupid and she refuses to learn how to use them. Anyways, ever since this incident she has directly removed me from her considerations. I never see or hear from her, but it doesn’t really bother me that much anymore. check_out_channel_9: The title should be TIFU by trying to take advantage of my sleeping girlfriend Its_mee_marioo: Well if she is okay with it he isn’t taking advantage of her I don’t mind when my fiancé gives me a BJ to wake me up shorterthanyou15: That's a different situation though, she was the one asleep in OP's story. I imagine in your case you gave consent beforehand. She can't really consent while asleep. Imagine waking up to a penis in your mouth without knowing why. That would be kinda fucked up, wouldnt it? Jahastie55: I appreciate your concern but I can assure you that most healthy relationships can survive things like random booba and butt honkings without contract consent. Further more, there’s nothing wrong with asking for a Blowjob and letting the other individual make their choice whether they want to give one. In this case she said no and that was that, just as it should be. It’s not like I tried to force myself onto her until she said no. shorterthanyou15: Yes of course, but your story made it sound like you asked for a blowjob while she was asleep and unable to properly consent. Like I said, imagine waking up with a dick in your mputh without knowing why. If my partner did that to me I would be upset. But if you're saying that she was awake and able to consent then of course that changes the tone of the story. Jahastie55: Right, I don’t believe people blindly suck dong in their sleep… but I can assure you, if she had woken up with MY dick in her mouth, there would not be a crazy tiktok drama bomb that would lead to some rape inquiry. If you’re in a relationship like that, I am so sorry. Partners shouldn’t sleep in the same bed together if they don’t trust each other completely and know each others boundaries. P.S. I’m taller than you. (Probably)

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[deleted]: TIFU by telling an online friend about a school project [deleted] You_Stole_My_Hot_Dog: This story was so hard to follow. Took me like 5 read-throughs to understand this sentence: “the school project was about native reserves so I decided to tell her she’s a native about some details of the project…” At first I thought you were telling her she’s a native. Then I thought you were saying she was being “native” about some details. Then I thought maybe you meant she was *naive* about some details. Finally realized that those are 3 different sentences… Please use periods when you write. Aggravating-Bus-4408: I'll reupload tomorrow after I reformat it

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threesidestothestory: TIFU by trying to kiss my best friend [removed] sh1be: Who is El? threesidestothestory: my bad… fixed

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[deleted]: TIFU by making a spank bank on my phone. [deleted] DudeitsAgame: But you didn’t make a spank bank of your moms pictures by accident, you literally said you cropped her face out…. vialenae: I’m always a bit sad when a post gets deleted. Reading this comment, I’m actually glad it did. Wtf.

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[deleted]: TIFU by joining the Navy [deleted] KI6WBH: All the other stuff aside, you're doing what a lot of people have done, you wouldn't want to know the amount of pilots military, commercial, private that have a fear of heights or flying. You just have to find the thing that allows you to keep in control LuciFeaarr: It makes sense though, to face something everyday to beat it out of your system. KI6WBH: Exactly you just have to take control and every time you start to feel that kind of fear or whatever you get on task on something complex with the job that you have signed up for that's going to be a lot you're always going to have something to fix so you always are going to have something to distract yourself. And hey you may get a port assignment so you just be going on to ship to repair something while they're in port or dry dock

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[deleted]: Tifu by arguing [removed] whats-reddit17: Man thinks he can beat professional tennis players just because they're women and looses to ex high-school tennis players.... SMH MoschopsChopsMoss: It’s remarkable how he managed to pick a sport where weight, height and strength give little to no advantage Sh1ba_Tatsuya: Are we being serious here? All those factors definitely do give an advantage. Height + Strength offers a more powerful serve (John Isner) and can force the other player to run out of position when returning or they return a non-ideal ball. Have you even seen the co-ed games where the female tennis players can’t even return the serves from players like Isner? Your comment tells me you dont watch or even play tennis… Now that being said, a regular dude can’t do shit against a trained female tennis player. OP made a false equation because, while pro males are usually better than pro females (on average), he himself is NOT a tennis player. This is where he went wrong and looked like a complete fool. MoschopsChopsMoss: It’s a pointless mental exercise to even discuss pros - of course the gap is massive, but even OP never said he can take on the pros. The dude, as well as his friends, are amateurs with different levels of training, and there are plenty of sports where pure athleticism and size difference would have given him an edge over a more skilled (but still an amateur) opponent - tennis ain’t that Sh1ba_Tatsuya: I understand what you’re saying. You’re definitely right. My initial point tried to acknowledged that when I was saying he made a false equation. Pro to Pro is not Noob to Amateur in tennis.

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Nerv2122: TIFU BY LETTING MY LONELY HORNY VIRGIN BRAIN SIKE MYSELF TO SEE AN ESCORT ! I (22m) (AUZ) decided on a whim that today was the day to lose my VCard and drove 40 mins to end up walking into a lovely and polite old lady's boarding house I assume... To our mutual confusion when I turned out not to be a friend of Dave 😱. I was then told rather abruptly and in a stern tone by her that "I know why your here mate! and was guided to the house behind hers I promptly left the premises in pure shame and embarrassment at the absurdity of it all and called the whole thing off . And promptly bought my first pair of Doc Martin's for my new job I was "rewarding myself for" idk guess I wanted to get rid of my anxiety or something. TLDR: tried to see a escort and chicken out in shame after walking into a old lady's house. Note this isn't a throw away as I'm fully committed to shaming myself for even trying to short cut my way to sexy time! 😭 NnyBees: You shagged that old lady, didn't you?? Nerv2122: I violated the sanctity of her home and she burned my self esteem to the ground 🥲 Oh well back on the anti depressant train 🚂 ihaveaquesttoattend: I’m gonna burn your self esteem a little more but only because i care. Doc martens sold out and their quality went way down while prices didn’t so i hope you got a vintage pair 😭

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[deleted]: TIFU in an online job interview [deleted] anhnalex: I'm also introverted and totally understand how you feel. I'm in a position where I have to hire staff, so I have some experience interviewing people. Do you want to do some practice interviews? mrdumbazcanb: Be careful they might block you in chat lol But seriously good on you for offering to help

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javiduarteee: TIFU - Leaving my girlfriend stranded [removed] sdforbda: She shouldn't be relying on you for rides on drinking nights when you start your day so early. That being said you have to be careful about when you offer those rides. _xotyxo: he clearly said he told her he would pick her up so she’s not wrong for relying on her boyfriend when he offered sdforbda: I didn't say she was, my comment isn't that long. Legendaryking44: I knew what you meant sdforbda: My man!

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litdrummerboy: TIFU by turning on my bathroom lights I live in a dorm at a small university. It’s set up with 4 rooms sharing a single hallway and a bathroom at the far end opposite from the door to the outside. The bathroom has motion-sensor lights, probably as a way for the university to save money. The bathroom isn’t set up like a home bathroom; it more closely resembles a gas station bathroom with a stall, 2 sinks, and a shower. The stall has a toilet paper dispenser like you’d find in a gas station bathroom as well, but the guys that share my suite and I chipped in and bought a bulk pack of toilet paper, and we keep a roll on top of the dispenser. I’m sure by now, you have an idea of where this is going. This particular day, I returned to my room from classes during a 2-hour break that I had in the middle of the day. This was my time to meditate, concentrate, and today, defecate. I had yogurt for breakfast, a pair of burritos for lunch, and I was about to make it my toilet’s problem. I felt the rumblings in my stomach, my stomachs own non-verbal cue that I needed to go, and soon. I entered my bathroom stall and sat down on the toilet, where only marble sized pieces of solid brown excrement exited my backside. I leaned forward, as if I were losing badly at a game of Call of Dookie. I squeezed my abs tight enough to reveal a 6-pack through my Freshman-15, yet there were no satisfying sounds of splashes into the water below. At this point, I was considering retreating back to my room, waving my white flag devoid of any brown stains. My stomach remained adamant that something should come out, but my body had failed to clear the pipes. As I reached for the toilet paper, in a moment of comedic timing, the motion-sensor lights turned off, leaving me naked, afraid, and with an unwiped bum. I had my phone with me, but I was not fond of cleaning myself up by flashlight. I decide to throw the roll of toilet paper that I held in my hand to deceive the lights, and turn them back on. I aimed as well as I could with absolutely no visibility, nor foresight as to the potential consequences of my actions. I launched a gentle toss, high enough to clear the wall of the stall. I should also note that I am not a science major and physics is not a degree requirement for me. I’m also not athletic by any stretch of the imagination. Now, with my sense of sight being taken away, this is what I experienced, over the next 10 seconds, which seemed like an eternity. I heard a slight bump from above me, followed by a louder one. I felt some sort of powder rain down on my face, I heard a third louder bump from outside the stall, and finally, I was still surrounded by darkness. I turned on my phone flashlight and pulled up my pants, deciding that the skid marks were now the least of my concerns. What I saw made my heart drop. There were two ceiling tiles on the floor, one of which, on the outside, contained the small circular light fixture. Unsure of what to do, I hurried back to my dorm, closing the bathroom door slowly in case my hallmates were in their rooms. I wanted to preserve my alibi that I had not been in the bathroom. I made it back to my room safely, and applied hand sanitizer while my heart slowed from its rapid pace. TL;DR: TIFU by vandalizing my bathroom while trying to turn on the motion-sensor lights with toilet paper gotora: Piece of advice; motion sensors are activated by body heat moving. Objects won't usually do it unless they're very warm. litdrummerboy: Really? I honestly didn’t know that. I just assumed I knocked the light out of the ceiling before the motion sensor could detect it. Or that it never got close enough because the sensors were by the sink gotora: Also, just explain the situation to the maintenance guy. He'll laugh and fix it.

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[deleted]: Tifu by forgetting my ex's birthday [deleted] jack99sound: this reads like a brain fart h311r47: Maybe even a brain shart. jack99sound: yeah cerebral diarrhea

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AnearVimesExperience: TIFU By buying an essay, asking for a refund and getting threatened This technically happened on Tuesday and came to a head today, I also have to start this off by saying that this is the first time I've paid for an essay and it will be the last... I (22f) was stressed, life hasn't been kind to me or my family and I had not one but two hand-ins this week, so this week after doing the second all-nighter to get stuff done I realized that I hadn't started my essay (this here is my fuck up) in my sleep deprived brain that was currently being fueled by anxiety as I hadn't taken my meds, I had the bright idea to hire some to write for me..... So off I go looking for a website that I think looks legit when I stumbled upon one that seems pretty okay, it's prices seemed fair to begin with and I could finally have something go my way for once! I talked to some of the people, they seemed nice and with a bad feeling I gave them my brief and off I went to continue with my other work. It hit Thursday and I don't know if it was because I finally felt like I could finally sleep, I'd taken my meds or both but I woke up with a big bad feeling in me. I started writing my essay myself, I sat down and just blasted out the rough draft. I spent a whole day perfecting that essay, I did my references and citations and I was really pleased with myself. Until I remembered that essay I paid and signed up for....so off I went to my emails to find that they sent me a draft, I'm not kidding when I say it was a beautiful essay of nothing. Whoever had written it hadn't read the brief I sent nor had they stuck to what I asked, so I asked them to change it and went on my way of perfecting my own essay. So today rolls around, my dreaded hand-in day and not only had I managed to finish and rearrange some parts of my essay but I also handed it in an hour early - I was really fucking pleased with myself! What about that paired essay? I hear you ask, here's where my fuck up begins.... So am hour ago I decide that not only had I worried for nothing but because I hadn't used or received the essay I paid for that I should get a refund, should be easy right? Wrong Not only did they threaten me about going to my uni about me paying them (with them bringing the receipts too) but that they'd get me kicked out too. Like the coward I am I paid them the money they asked for to keep quiet and not go to my uni TLDR: I paid someone to write my essay but ended up writing it anyway and not receiving the essay I paid for. Asked for a refund and was told that to do that they'd do to my uni with receipts and get me kicked out unless I paid them not too..... Which I did..... Morally of the story take your meds, trust yourself more and DON'T FUCKING PAY SOMEONE TO WRITE YOUR ESSAY EDIT: I just need to specify that I did pay the essay writing service before they wrote the essay and then a second time for the rewrite that never came EDIT 2 : I PAID THE SERVICE TWICE. Once before they started writing and the second for the rewrite Its_gonder: Hey, just do the work, you’re paying to be at the university, the last thing you need is to lose out on the degree because you got lazy. Most professors will be flexible with due dates too, don’t be afraid to ask or look for campus services like a therapist if things get bad AnearVimesExperience: It wasn't about being lazy it was me having too much work to do, I should have probably just asked for an extension but my teachers are people that don't really like doing that. I'm on a waiting list for the therapist on campus :) Its_gonder: Lazy might not be the best term, but realistically college is hard, with a lot to do, but there are options and ways to better manage your time and workload. Look into those. I got my masters while working full time. It’s all good time management and disciplining yourself to succeed, if you want it, you’ll make it work no-kooks: I’m aware of masters programs that specifically accommodate full-time jobs but unless I’m missing something, scheduling a full undergrad load with a full-time job is impossible. I think your answer is a bit facile with a lack of any elaboration, and thusly not very helpful. Its_gonder: I also did my undergraduate with a full time job, it’s not exactly unhelpful to point out OP clearly has poor time management and should work to improve that, also full time or part time work during an undergraduate is fairly common According to nces.edu.org 40% of undergraduate students were fully employed in 2020 74% of undergraduate students were part time employed in 2020. So your statement is just factually incorrect Link: https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator/ssa/college-student-employment#:~:text=The%20percentage%20of%20full%2Dtime,in%202015%20(78%20percent). no-kooks: 40hrs a week? What, did you work graveyard? I’m even more skeptical now. We’re still not getting any details or useful tips. Its_gonder: I worked 6am-3pm 5 days a week at a restaurant. Accommodated my school schedule with my work schedule and used a scheduler to detail my work, assignments and more. Communication is key, reminding employers that schools is the top priority. Scheduling work times need to be bent around when classes occur. I aimed to take afternoon and evening courses.

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-butter-toast-: Tifu by unkowinlgy joking about my friend’s dead sister to him In contrary to a lot of posts on this sub, I actually Tifued today. I been friend with this guy for some time now, so because we are confident with each other, we joke a lot. Anyways, today I needed a tremp, and my friend was going close there, so I asked him, and when he agreed I started saying stuff like “I can seat in the back like your sister” (I’m a guy btw), or “we can seat in the back, like brother and sister”, shit like that. After saying those, now obviously stupid things, my friend excluded himself for the bathroom, and the other guys on the table explained to me, that he indeed had a sister that died young from an infection not so long before I met him, and that I was an idiot and stuff like that. What’s worse, I didn’t believe them, thinking they were joking. So, once again, fucking it more, when my friend came back, I started saying that the guys were idiots, lying that he had a sister who died from a clearly invented desease. As silent fell upon us, I realized I may be in the wrong and that my other friends, actually did say the truth. When I turned for them to clear things up, I only faced a wall of faces covered by hands, and a pretty uncomfortable/angry friend, who explained to me, that he indeed had a sister, that very much not died from an invented desease, and didn’t talked about her, because of the feelings it brought up. Of course I ended taking the bus (by own choice), thinking about how I lost a good friend, and how I should believe more in my idiot group of friends. Apologize for bad English/grammar, as another well thought redditor said, Poe’s language, is not my first language. TL;DR: I joked about my friend’s dead sister, without knowing that he had one, and turning a complete idiot of myself. shes-so-much: >Anyways, today I needed a tremp quick question op wtf does this mean Weaseleater1: Not sure what word he meant “tremp” to be, but pretty sure he meant that he needed a ride.

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stupidguyheroin: TIFU by getting high with a friend, doing a tiktok video for fun that went viral and now I'm ashamed to leave the house So few weeks ago, I was with a friend and we got pretty high. We both hate tiktok but at that moment we were like "hey wanna make a video for fun" so we did one regarding stray dogs and cats (The subject was serious though not for fun). We make it and upload it and proceed to pass out. Waking up a few hours later I see so many notifications and I check out that tiktok. The video had 120k views. Thing is, we were so high that it was obvious af. We sounded like 2 drunk idiots. Thousands of comments, mostly sarcastic or hateful. Anyway my friend didn't wanted to continue so I decide I'll continue the account. Today I learn from a friend that almost everyone who knows me in my area saw the video on the for you page. Regardless of me making other videos without being high having 2k - 10k views everyone only saw that video which now has almost 160k views. Lesson learned, don't get high and upload stuff. TL;DR got high with a friend, made a tiktok video which went viral and made a fool of ourselves and everyone that I know have seen it WheelsMan1: >We both hate tiktok >Regardless of me making other videos without being high having 2k - 10k Ya...it really sounds like you hate TikTok. stupidguyheroin: After so many views I got that ego boost that made me like well, my content lol It's pretty much just opinions on different subjects or replying to comments that have different opinions and saying mine. It's kinda fun tbh and after 1k followers u can make like a few dollars from lives lol FlyingSpagetiMonsta: So you don't hate tiktok. stupidguyheroin: Well the people there are like the toxic people on reddit. Some content is fun tbh just like with reddit and i found it a good place to voice opinions. I was quick to judge without first trying it

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Aquariumpsychotic: TIFU by texting the wrong person I know multiple people that share the first name. So I have multiple people in my contacts with the first name.I will use John fake name btw I have a friend that moved to a different state to become a fireman. He did a cadet program in high school and was an emt. I don’t know if he got a job offer or their was a demand for firemen in that city. He finished basic training a while back and he is starting his first day on the job soon. We keep in touch but mostly on instagram or FaceTime. I decided to text him. While typing his first name into search contacts I clicked on the wrong John not realizing it I sent a text asking how are you doing. The John I texted to lost his younger brother over the summer I mention the cause of death because I think the post would be removed. I have not talked to this John in about six years.we played waterpolo together my freshman year and he was a grade ahead of me and he didn’t play waterpolo the next year. I was team mates with his brother my sophomore year of high school for swim team and waterpolo He was a freshman I was a sophomore. My junior year I went to a different school do to health issues. Me and his younger brother stayed in contact but were not very close. To get back on topic I accidentally messaged the person that lost their brother last how they are doing instead of my friend who is becoming a fireman. The consequence is me feeling terrible about messaging the wrong person. I have not got a response and I have not gotten any messages from other people about it. TLDR texted how are you doing to a person that lost their brother over the summer by accident and now I feel terrible. Trickabounce: Don’t sweat it. Accidents happen. If he does text back, just say that you accidentally messaged the wrong John. WithoutReason1729: Good point. They'll be so relieved that they won't even question it. Like, seriously, if I accidentally text the wrong person, I would make sure to reach out to everyone I knew who texted that person too. Not making that assumption is just gutsy. Good on you for reaching out to the brother instead of the friend!

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[deleted]: TIFU by slapping my best friend [deleted] JustSomeUsername99: He deserved it. Good job. If friends can't bitch slap each other, then what are they good for? Odrizzle6842: You don’t have the right to put your hands on anyone for their choices that they make in their relationship or literally any reason unless you’re defending yourself. She assaulted him, you certainly would not be saying “he deserved it” if the genders were reversed and a man slapped a woman. Keep your hands to yourself and don’t be so entitled that you feel you have the right to discipline another young adult. Chitwood74: Today's society has really shunned corporal punishment and for the most part this is a good thing. I'm not saying you were right to hit him but as a man I can promise you that I needed my attitude adjusted on more than one occasion in life. I'm sure it startled him and it hurt his ego more than it hurt him physically. I think it could be a good thing in the long run. Maybe he'll think twice before treating a SO like shit.

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Far-Hat3075: TIFU Doing an Epic Cartwheel at a Friend's Party I was at a party at my friend's house and decided to make a grand entrance by doing a cartwheel into the living room. I had been practicing for weeks and was feeling confident. As I began to do the cartwheel, I realized that I had miscalculated the distance to the wall and ended up crashing into it head first, knocking over several picture frames and a lamp in the process. The room fell silent and everyone turned to stare at me in shock. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to just crawl into a hole. I had to spend the rest of the party avoiding the people and the wall, I had even made a dent on it. Instead of impressing everyone with my gymnastics, I had become the party's entertainment for the night. TL:DR I attempted to make a grand entrance at a party by doing a cartwheel but miscalculated the distance to the wall and ended up crashing into it, causing damage and embarrassment. Nicksix66: EMOTIONAL DAMAGE UrbanRedFox: haiya

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[deleted]: TIFU UPDATE: TIFU by spending the night with an old friend. [deleted] therickeffect1: You also fu'd the link Bluecycle00: I’m on mobile idk how to do it lmao!!

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_offtoseetheworld: Tifu: I guess I just wanna unlive myself [removed] 300117: Your dad will process it; you probably over did it and perhaps he was not in the right space to hear it. It always hurts when our actions affect those we love, but due to our closeness they oftentimes are the people we hurt the most? Perhaps take the opportunity in the morning to apologise, express your love and ask him if there's anything he wanted to talk about and just listen. Try not to catastrophise the situation; this is not necessarily 'healthy' for families but it is extremely common? Communication is hard and oftentimes fraught! _offtoseetheworld: Tysm i really needed to hear that 300117: Hope today was better mate. Pls never act on any harmful impulses!

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[deleted]: TIFU by not knowing what shmegma meant. [deleted] Important_Sprinkles9: Probably thinks you're a Red Dwarf fan. TrillianSwan: That’s where I first heard it! Took years before I found out it was a real thing and not just a British put down! Important_Sprinkles9: I definitely called people smeg heads as a kid because my dad watched it.

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workwithassholes: TIFU by buying an "expensive" car and driving it to work Throwaway for obvious reasons this happened last week To make this backstory short right before covid (Feb. 2020) started my girlfriend broke up with me and I moved out of our apartment. It broke me and put me in a very dark place, not knowing what to do I moved back home temporarily, or so I thought. Then covid hit and with all the lockdowns etc. I ended up staying longer while continuing to work at my job throughout all the craziness. It's a small company under 100 people making decent money, no not 6 figures but close plus a little on the side from a few hobbies nothing crazy. The blessing in disguise to this was I realized how much money I was saving by living at home to the point where I paid off all my debt and it became an addictive game. I started selling most stuff I didn't need like my "good" car and just drove my hoopty everywhere. I built up a nice savings and investment account and the time came where I moved out and I thought it was time to finally buy something "nice" for myself so I went and bought a "high end" brand car close to $100k when new. (I financed it used nowhere near that price). The fuck up happened when I drove it to work and everyone saw it. I started getting all the jealous comments and other B.S. Everyone's talking about it even one person going to management complaining about getting a raise. I think its time to find a new job. tldr: bought expensive car now get shit at work from assholes. noinnocentbystander: I’d be like “my sugar mama got it for me, y’all should try it” they’d probably be too wtf to continue lol beaverbait: Or telling them that's what living with your mom gets you. Self depreciating humor works. Doubly so if you can deadpan the delivery. Hitmanglass_: 70% of young adults do that, because why pay 1k + on rent plus utilities, when you can save 50% of that and pay at your parents? beaverbait: No judgement for sure. Same shit happened to me with covid. Moved for a job, stayed with family now we're stuck but saving money. Hitmanglass_: It’s also because the size of squad footage has dropped at like a 80% rate compared to wage increases with has also dropped, then with price of the square foot going up, So a 500sf place in the 70/80 was 200 a month, now it’ll be 800 for the same size, it’s a massive issue, wage hasn’t increased in years, and cost of living just goes up, BUT every year company’s gain more profit and have higher profits then the year before, mhm Sorry confusing beaverbait: Capitalism gonna capitalize.

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A1ABS: TIFU by allowing both my mother’s and my car to be stolen. So this actually happened this morning… A little background: I live in a normally safe suburb 20 minutes outside of D.C. I didn’t get out of the office until 8pm last night amounting to what was already a 50 hour work week. I went straight to the gym afterwards. I finally get home around 10ish and at this point I’m running on fumes. I get home and park in the driveway. Rather than being in the moment, I am thinking about sleep and work tomorrow. I immediately shower and hop in bed. I’m awoken, still very groggy, at 5:30 am by mother saying the cars are missing. Not car, but cars. I go outside and they’re missing… I then have the realization that I’m a fucking idiot. I left my keys in the car… What I didn’t know is that my mom likes to keep her service key in my car in the circumstance that her car fob dies… (Can’t tell you why). At this point I conclude the cars were jacked. I call the cops, give them the whole run down. Things aren’t looking great. My car insurance provider could consider this negligence and deny the claim for my car. At this point I’m panicking. Part of the police report procedure in the case of a car theft is recalling what belongings were in the car. I go down the list and finally think of my AirPods. At that moment I hop on find my iPhone and scroll through my device and see the headphones pinging in Anacostia S.E. D.C. (not a place you want to be in daylight) which is about ~45 minutes away from where I live. Thank god, we have a lead. Since I’m dealing with cops in a different jurisdiction, I have to wait for the police report to be relayed. A determined sounding detective reaches out to me. I pass on the address that the AirPods are pinging from. Good news; around 1:30 pm I am notified that my mother’s vehicle has been found. Bad news; The jackers already managed to crash the car and were seemingly getting ready to salvage it for parts. More bad news; there is no sign of my car and my AirPods are no longer pinging. I insist to the detective that the car may very well still be around somewhere in that neighborhood. Dispatched police find my car 30 minutes later tucked in an alleyway seemingly unscathed on the exterior. I’m in disbelief that they were able to locate the vehicles. I hop in an Uber and head to the scene to recover my car. My car is littered with ash and smells like Newports and Cheech n Chong. I look in the backseat and find not one, not two, but three used rubbers. I got the cars back, but am now left wondering if these thieves had an orgy in my car. Last bit of good news: I had maybe 30 miles in my tank when my car was stolen, but came back to a full tank. TL;DR Left not only my car keys, but my mother’s car keys as well in my car resulting in both of our getting jacked. Cars were recovered in Anascostia SE D.C.. One car is wrecked, the other reeks of weed and was found with multiple used rubbers in it. TypicalJeepDriver: I cannot believe the cops in DC put literally any effort in to finding your cars. I live in KC and found someone selling stuff from my stolen car and I went to the police station and they said it was all circumstantial and not of it was provable and they wouldn’t even send a cop with me to meet for my stolen items. I just got lucky and this crackhead folded when I told her I knew it was mine and she and her boyfriend gave up where the car was. A cop I talked to earlier that day, with the case on a silver platter, turned off his body cam and told me I should roll up on them with all my friends and just take care of it. Wammio272: OP got insanely lucky that he got a committed detective (but then again if my car got stolen, I'd rather deal with getting a new vehicle from insurance than recovering it). DC police don't enforce most non-violent laws for the most part, and completely do not enforce traffic laws due to a "rebellion" against the mayor and city leadership, most people don't share this experience that OP had. MonOncleCharlie: What is this “rebellion”? UnfortunateJones: They don’t like being held accountable for being shitty, so they do a worse job than normal. ic_engineer: And yet we haven't replaced them. Fucking free market economy until the good ol boys get affected. the_book_of_eli5: Yeah good luck with that when there are already major shortages of officers throughout the country.

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Devils_Demon: TIFU by streaking in my neighbourhood This happened last year but it's still very fresh in my mind as it's something I won't forget easily. I've kept it a secret ever since but it's time to get it off my chest. First some backstory. I work a night shift. Monday to Friday from 6pm to 2:30am. Usually when I get home from work I watch some tv or play Playstation until about 5am and then go to bed. However on Fridays I have a slightly different routine. It's the last night of the week so I like to wash my work uniform before going to bed. When I get home from work at around 3am I go straight into the kitchen, strip completely naked and put my work uniform, underwear, socks, (basically everything) into the washing machine, turn on the washing machine, then go upstairs, take a shower and then go to bed. One particular week last year was a Bank Holiday (basically we have Monday off). To extend that long weekend I also booked off the Friday before the Bank Holiday so I would have a 4 day weekend. So Thursday night was now my last night of the week. When I got home from work that Thursday night I went through the same routine I do every Friday. Stripped completely naked in the kitchen, put all my clothes into the washing machine and turned it on. I grabbed my phone from the kitchen table to bring with me to the bathroom and I had a quick glance at my notifications. There was a notification from my messaging app from my bin collection crowd. "As a result of the Bank Holiday your bins will be collected tomorrow morning at 9am" Crap. I took a peek out the back garden and both bins were completely full. They definitely needed to go out or it'll be another 2 weeks before they get collected. I stood completely naked in the kitchen trying to weigh up my options. 1. Turn off the washing machine, take out my trousers, put them on and bring the bins to the front. 2. Go upstairs and grab a dry pair of trousers potentially waking up my wife and kids. Or option 3. I chose option 3. It was 3am. Nobody is outside at 3am. Its dark. Most of my neighbours are elderly and are probably fast asleep. So I opened the back door. Went outside wearing nothing but a Fitbit. I grabbed one of the bins and opened the side gate. I paused for a second to determine the best method of dragging this bin to the front. Fast and loud or slow and quite. I slowly wheeled the bin through my front garden, looking out for stones as I walk as I'm barefoot. I open the front gate (which is very squeaky) then drag the bin out of my garden to the side of the road. So far so good. Not a sinner on the streets. I scout the neighbourhood real quick to see if I was spotted then I tiptoe back to grab the second bin which is a lot heavier. I'm feeling a bit more confident this time so I wheel the bin at a normal pace. Same thing again. Drag the bin to the street. No longer bothering to be stealthy. Just as casual as if I was fully dressed. I set the bin down next to the first bin then start walking back inside. As I'm walking back inside I see something move at the corner of my eye. I look over at my neighbour's house and I see one of the curtains pulled back a little in an upstairs window. I stare at it as I'm walking and sure enough the curtain closes over a few seconds later. Our houses are identical in layout and I'm pretty sure I know who's bedroom that is. It's my neighbours daughter's bedroom. She's 14 and is best friends with my daughter. I'm not 100% sure what she saw, if anything. It was dark. Maybe she didn't see me at all. Maybe it was just a breeze at her curtain but it's been on my mind ever since. Did my neighbour' 14 year old daughter witness me streaking in the neighbourhood? Guess I'll never know unless she tells me someday. TLDR I think my daughter's best friend saw me wheeling my bins to the street completely naked. Zickened: I'm an older guy and when we were younger, we did a lot of the dumb shit that everyone in media reminisces about because no electronics, just a bunch of bored kids playing truth or dare at night during the summer. We were 15ish, probably like 8 or 9 of us, playing some good ol' truth or dare. Since most of us played truth or dare a lot together, we were pretty brazen with the dares and brazen with carrying them out. Anyway, we dare this kid to walk down the street, 1 house down, pick up this basketball that someone threw and bring it back. With his pants around his ankles. So, this chubby 15 year old kid, starts slowly shuffling down the street. At the same time, this girl's mom across the street opens the door to call her in, gets about halfway through her shout and then stops, stares for a moment, and turns around and shuts the door. The kid still got the ball, but we were rolling in laughter. OkVolume1: She saw chubby's chubby.

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CheesyMoo23: TIFU by burning my hoohah chub in the shower (First TIFU post) Little backstory: -I am overweight, so I'm a little chubby, so I kinda have to feel to make sure I got all the soap. -Our shower is a tub/shower split thing so we have a basket that goes over the shower head. -in our shower you have to crank the cold and slightly turn the hot to not burn yourself, it's a weird shower Onto the screw up So here I am in the shower, having a shower as you do, and as I was rinsing off I decided I'll water this hanging fern that my mom hung in the bathroom while I'm at it, two birds with one stone right? No. More like two birds and one got deep fried So I turn off the water and then realize oops I forgot some soap, I turn the water back on to rinse again. Sidenote the fern was now hanging on the shower head basket thing, blocking my view of how far I turned the taps... It got hot, FAST and it hurt like hell. So I get out of the shower and as I'm getting ready for bed, I check in the mirror and the area is bright red and looks like I've been in the sun for too long. Literally a tomato now. So now I'm holding an ice pack to my hoohah area writing this out. TL:DR: Tried to be helpful, burned my hoohah chub. harleyspoison267: As a fellow curvy vagina owner, I highly recommend a showerhead on a hose so you can detach it. You can find a basic one for cheap and the install is straightforward. Residual soap in the downstairs is super unhealthy (and just uncomfortable), and since we switched our showerhead I haven't had any problems. This also means you can check the temperature before pointing it directly at any *delicate areas*. Good luck 🤞 CheesyMoo23: It's funny because we have a detachable showerhead, but our water temperature is very funky lol harleyspoison267: Lol okay then, just a weird fluke. I have a similar issue in my apartment building. Both that the water level fluctuates significantly after any other nearby water system being used AND the oversensitivity of the faucet. So annoying. CheesyMoo23: Agreed, plus our house is reeaallly old so it has its issues lol

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smartanddirty93: TIFU by falling down thrice in 6 hours It was raining on and off yesterday so the roads were wet and slippery. This would have been alright except that my prized sneakers' soles apparently have almost no grip, resulting in me falling thrice in very public places with lots of witnesses within 6 hours. It all started when I was heading to a yoga class. I was standing at a traffic crossing with a slight slope waiting for the light to turn green. The next moment, I suddenly slipped and fell. I landed mostly on my right butt and used my right hand to break the fall. The skin on my right palm was slightly red and irritated and my right butt hurt a little. But overall, it was not too bad and I just got up and went to my class. After yoga class, I was all dolled up and feeling amazing as I headed to dinner which was ten minutes' walk away. As I was waiting at another traffic crossing, I suddenly slipped and fell again! This time, I landed on my left and ended up with a slightly twisted left ankle and cuts on my left palm and thigh. It was so painful I teared up and had to call my friend to come help me to the dinner venue. We ended up being late as I had to clean up the cuts and could only limp due to my ankle. Dinner took 3 hours so my left ankle was feeling better by the time we left. However, I then made a terrible decision to join other friends for drinks. As I was waiting at another traffic crossing to go grab a cab, I managed to slip and fall again! This time, I twisted my left ankle again and hurt my left arm as I tried to use it to block my fall. Currently typing this with my right hand as I am laid up with a twisted left ankle and a swollen left arm that I can't straighten fully. It's difficult for me to even put on my clothes as my left arm is painful af everytime I try to move it. The worst thing is that it's a major holiday where I am so I have to limp to a family celebration shortly. TLDR; fell down thrice in 6 hours due to rain and shoes with no grip, now dealing with a twisted ankle and a swollen arm and an existential crisis since it hurts to move, need to limp to a family celebration shortly and grin through the pain. Just_Steph13: Go see a doctor about potential broken bones. And get rid of those shoes! smartanddirty93: I saw a doctor! His advice was to wait and see because he can't confirm if anything is broken or dislocated without an x-ray but the radiologist clinics are closed as it's a public holiday. Hopefully my ankle and arm just heal by themselves over time...

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Unfitpenguin: TIFU by telling my girlfriend that I was worried about her TIFU by telling my girlfriend that I was worried about her ( English isn’t my first language so sorry for the bad grammar) Well I really just want to get this out of my system and throw it somewhere on the internet. I really don’t know where to start, so I’m gonna start it from where my worries began. Fly back 2 weeks ago and me and my girl friend are in school talking and having some fun and being happy. The next week she started to look depressed and sad, I asked her what was wrong but she didn’t want to answer. When ever we played games online she would display her quietness and sadness. 2 days later we start to hangout with her friends and she shows no sign of depression she would only show them to me. I tried asking her what was wrong multiple times but she would never answer. at this point I began to speculate the worse and began to think that she had lost all interest in me. She began to start leaving my messages on read and wouldn’t respond until 12 hours later. Today I asked her if she had lost her feelings for me and that I was worried for her it may have taken some time for her to respond but she said that she would call me later to talk about it. TL;DR I don’t know wether shes gonna break up with me or confess to me about what’s going on in her life. But it’s given me major anxiety Update: she broke up with me. Well all suspicions turned out to be true. She told that she had rushed a relationship and that she had lost feelings for me. We did end up on good terms but I am gonna miss her. I still have a lot to live for so I’m going to move on and live my life the best I can Update 2: well turns out this whole time she wanted to go back to her ex. this really hurt me after finding out but I’m in the for clear now POOTY-POOTS: If someone can't communicate their basic emotions its time to bail Dragon_Wolf_88: I don't completely agree with this. From a neurodivergent standpoint, the one not communicating could have ASD. They mask to try to fit in and when they feel more comfortable they start dropping the mask. Usually evidenced by a change of personality. It doesn't mean they love the other person less, it's just that it is hard and stressful to maintain the mask. When an autist feels comfortable enough to be themselves, that is the biggest sign of love and appreciation they can show. N7_Hellblazer: You can still learn how to communicate your emotions. I have ASD as does my partner. As we cannot read each others facial expressions we ask. Relationships are all about communication and if you cannot communicate with your partner with how you are feeling then it’s something you need to work on. I was someone who couldn’t even name my emotions but with therapy I’ve started bridging that gap between emotion names and matching them to how I’m feeling. It’s doable. Heck even other ASD people in my group therapy were like me and we learnt how to communicate our emotions.

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[deleted]: TIFU by putting my nail clippings in an almost empty bag of potato chips [deleted] thatjewboy: what did i just read DatAssPaPow: That a husband accidentally ate his wife’s toenail clippings.