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[ { "author": "user-id/48072", "content": "<p><strong>Hi</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>I had a bout of workplace anxiety over 15 years ago within the community services sector. It took time to get over it, but I worked through it. Now in 23 it has come back. There has been the same consistent workplace stress. However there have been significant home events with a child in the last few years and with their own intense challenges.  With a renovation and work with overtime. Recently my normal coping skills coupled with home life and keeping everything else in check</strong>. I have very limited coping skills with even small things. Even with my child with their significant issues. I have been so tight cheated and wanting to escape everything. As a Dad with a family I know I can't quit for a better word. I just don't know how to make myself feel better. I don't want to come across as a whinger but I just don't know. It's impacting silently with me. Appreciate any insights, I know it could be said with the offload thing but I can't off load my family.</p></div>", "date": "02-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/569223" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi </p><p> </p><p>I understand ur workplace pressures stress I’m same how did urs start ? And what has triggered u? <br>running away from ur family/ child is not fair on them while it seems like an easy escape it’s not actually u can quit ur job find another . Leaving ur child / family is not even an option. Find things to refocus ur energy outside of work myself I find parenting hard  sometimes but I haven’t considered leaving I can’t say I haven’t had dark thoughts but I think of the impact it would have on my child if i followed these dark thoughts and it has never taken control . Find time to focus, reconnect with your children and family. </p></div>", "date": "03-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/569223" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/25528", "content": "<ul><li>Hey Beyond Blue community, I’m not really sure if posting this will help anything but I thought to give it a try.</li></ul><p><br>Among many other stressors, I’m really struggling with anxiety and guilt around trying to lose weight. The short version of this story is that I put on some weight when I was in my mid teen years which I didn’t really like. It was never a ‘health’ problem as I wasn’t ‘overweight’ (whatever that actually means) but related to how I felt about my physical image. Now that I’m older and know a bit more about nutrition and life in general, I’ve managed to get my weight down to a spot where I am more or less happy. Life got hectic for a while but now I am back to moderate calorie restriction to lose the last bit that I’d like to lose. I am doing it a safely as I can with a long term sustainable diet plan that ensures good nutrition and actually tasty food (I grew up with tonnes of food intolerances so I got a lot of nutritional knowledge early on that allows me to do this. One upside to dietary restrictions)</p><p> </p><p>I just feel so guilty and anxious about doing this though. It makes me feel like I’m a terrible person for actively pursuing a smaller body type when we live in a world where fat phobia is clearly being challenged and addressed. I am very confused by the whole situation because having this kind of body is important to me but I really don’t want to hurt anyone else by making them feel they weren’t enough if they were a larger body size. It doesn’t help that I am really involved within the performing industries where being small is unfortunately the norm (in my experience at least). Being the same small size as those other performers makes the process of losing weight worth it to me because I don’t want to look different - I’m on the Autism spectrum already and there’s a tonne of unusual things about me so I guess I want to be like everyone else for once. Which is ironic because I logically get this whole issue around skinny body types is about it not being super normal.</p><p> </p><p>I guess I’m just impacted by the thin ideal as well, and maybe this is my way of coping with it? </p><p> </p><p>The whole issue just makes my head spin.</p><p> </p><p>Note: I am aware that I have also fallen into disordered eating tendencies and poor mental health. I do have mental health specialists involved to help me <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>I am not sure what kind of responses I want. Just thought to put this out into cyberspace in case someone has also been through something like this.</p></div>", "date": "12-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-guilt-around-losing-weight/td-p/570030" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Willowtree_21</p><p> </p><p>Being a 52yo gal and in serious need of losing weight so as to live a much healthier life, I've seen how the campaign against fat shaming has been taken to extremes. While the campaign began for good reasons, to eliminate cruelty and discrimination, now we can't speak of what we'd call our ideal weight or size without someone accusing us of fat shaming and leading us to feel guilty in some way. </p><p> </p><p>Personally, I want to reach my ideal weight because 1) it will be easier for me to breathe while carrying less weight, 2) my knees will not hurt so much while carrying less weight, 3) I'll be able to do more things compared to what I can do now, 4) I will feel healthier and possibly live a longer life and the list goes on. So, my size is not my key focus, obtaining a better quality of life is the focus. If I work hard in managing eating healthy and I power up my body everyday in energising ways (exercise), the<em> side effect</em> will be weight loss and I'll appear slimmer. </p><p> </p><p>With your knowledge and experience, when it comes to health issues and good quality diet, you'd have felt the difference when it comes to your body functioning at its best. With all the right chemistry (in food) meeting with the chemistry in your body, it's about creating the right chemical reactions to keep every system in our body functioning happily. Too much food or not enough food, too much exercise or not enough exercise, too much fat or not enough fat etc and the <em>imbalance</em> comes with unwanted side effects (whether those side effects are short or long term).</p><p> </p><p>If your ideal size is 'slim', there is nothing wrong with that as long as you manage being slim in all healthy ways. On the other hand, some people will manage being slim while starving themself of good quality food with plenty of vitamins, minerals, protein etc. They may be slim yet their body will be suffering through <em>a lack</em> of what it needs to function effectively. They may be happy looking in the mirror but if they're constantly fatigued, again you gotta question quality of life.</p><p> </p><p>I think one of our key goals in life is to find the happiest and healthiest version of our self. Reaching that goal can come with a lot of questions. It is the nature of such monumental <em>quest</em> to hold so many <em>quest</em>ions. Each answer or revelation is a leap forward <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "13-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-guilt-around-losing-weight/td-p/570030" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "The connections we have with our family our friends or other important relationships in our lives are the things that keep us going and persavering in life.\n<br> \n<br> The first relationship is your mum and the relationship I have with my mum is very prominent in my life because everyday I spend time with her and we cook dinner with dad every night.\n<br> \n<br> The connection you build will not only be with your parents but other prominent relationships like your teacher at school. The story that resonates with me was I was walking behind everyone on the camp but my teacher  was walking with me. In another instance I went snorkling with my principle.\n<br> \n<br> My beautiful sister, I have a close bond with my sister and she is my great guidance and compass she always showed me the right path in life. My sister is super intelligent and I am so proud of the beautiful powerful women she has become.\n<br> \n<br> My brother is a larican and we ave a beautiful connection with a laugh of helping him with homework. We would also watch the foot ball and cricket and play cricket for that matter. We have knowlegdable conversations about many topics like science and history.\n<br> \n<br> There are many other connections in life that we all develop through out our lives these connections guide us and protect us all of our lives.\n<br> \n<br> We also have our close friends and confidants that guide us in our key decisions in life the show us the right path in life.\n<br> \n<br> Then you have the myriad of female confidants that give you giudance and protection in a loving and caring guiding force. I have been extremely blessed to have these powerful womwn in my life and surrounding me like angels. I feel we are sent people to guide us protect us for a purpose and I am gratful for the love and guidance of these powerful women in my life.\n<br>  \n<br> We are surrounded by angels and people who love us and guide us and we must never take them for granted that they exist in our lives and you never be rude and disrespectful to them.\n<br> \n<br> You must realise how lucky and how precious they are and always show love and kindness to them.\n<br> In giving we receive\n<br> You must always beleive in the good hearts of the people around you and relise they only want to help you. There are wonderful doctors and nurses that are there to guide and protect you and get you better and we must show them love respect and gratitude for there honourable work they do for us everyday.\n<br>   \n<br> You must find strength and comfort in the powerful relationships that surround us and respect what they bring to our lives.\n<br>  </div>", "date": "11-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-power-of-loving-healing-relationships/td-p/569924" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>I would say in many cases the \"first\" relationship you have as a new born is mother and father. Fathers are just as important as mothers in many cases and in some cases the father is more important..</p><p> </p><p>Re: \" <span> <em>and <strong>we must never</strong> take them for granted\"</em>.  I'm not sure about the wording of this or \"....<em><strong>and you never</strong> be rude and disrespectful to them</em>\" or \"<em>You <strong>must</strong> realise how lucky and how precious they are and always show love and kindness to them.\"  or \"... <strong>You must always</strong> beleive in the good hearts of the people around you and relise they only want to help you\" or \"...<strong>and we must show them love respect and gratitude</strong> for there honourable work they do for us everyday. or \"<strong>You must find strength and comfort</strong> in the powerful relationships that surround us and respect what they bring to our lives.</em></span></p><p> </p><p><span>We members here come from all different lives, ages, gender etc so the diversity is large. I'm 67yo and I cant help but feel you are giving me a sermon. For example, respect and gratitude is earned not a given. I will return respect and gratitude to nurses and doctors when they have proven to me I have nothing to fear and they do their work well. I recently had a pathology nurse abuse me with no reason (staff sent me there in error) and had other staff comfort me during my distressing episode. But you say \"I must show them respect and gratitude\". Maybe overall people in emergency services could be shown gratitude (as should cleaners, prison warders, and many other professions because collectively we all make up society)  but wording the above in the manner that you have is saying (my interpretation) that we should and there is no excuse if you dont. I dont think you should TELL people how to treat others because many have valid reasons to treat them how they see fit. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Sorry, thats the way I read it.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>TonyWK</span></p></div>", "date": "12-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-power-of-loving-healing-relationships/td-p/569924" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hi all,</p><p> </p><p>I've been heavily considering working as of late. It's a big leap but one I think would be most beneficial... at the same time extremely nerve wrecking. I seem to struggle when it comes to schedules, having things to do on certain days stresses me out a lot. I wonder if that's common?</p><p> </p><p>I'm concerned about work itself, but also the days leading up to it. I don't want to worry myself sick prior then the day to arrive, I don't see how I could force myself to go with all that worrying. It wouldn't be manageable.</p><p> </p><p>If I do proceed, I'm planning on going through CVGT, which sound really understanding, they provide work experience and keep in contact after your employment. Sounds like a decent support structure. Anyone have experience with employment companies that help people get work and stay in work with anxiety?</p><p> </p><p>I'm seeing a psychologist monthly, my next appointment is coming up soon. I'm on medication... so this step makes sense? Although my presumed stress makes me extremely apprehensive. I don't want to do nothing with my life, but I'm also scared of everything that work entails, despite actually wanting to do it.</p><p> </p><p>Any advice, your own personal experience and encouragement/kind words are appreciated. Thank you for reading <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/starting-work-when-you-ve-never-had-a-job-before/td-p/569883" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi flop</p><p> </p><p>good on you for thinking of going to work it’s a good step having a employment agency they certainly can support you . I can’t say I’ve not  had experience with an agency that supports people work with anxiety ( I’ve only recently gotten anxiety from some issues but won’t go into that  ) but it’s great if there’s an agency that supports you In regards to staying in work . I’m trying  to return to work after injury ect but yes it can be difficult if your values don’t align with your employers ,u can work around it ,ignore it ,depends on what it is mostly I’m not fussed by my works values it’s more how they treat me as a RTW employee. And u really want to be successful in my RTW but my work is being difficult &amp; discriminating.work can be stressful lots of jobs aren’t always stressful some have excellent work &amp; bosses . I have had a few good jobs a few shocking ones nothing is perfect in the world nothing but if you’re happy and know you’re respected in your job u will be fine . Do u know what u want to do 4 work ? What are ur interests? U could always start out casually and once u Gain more confidence increase ur hours <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":beaming_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😁</span></p><p> </p><p>think positive cause it’s a positive step to be thinking the way u are bout goin to work <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/starting-work-when-you-ve-never-had-a-job-before/td-p/569883" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hi Blues23, thank you for your reply <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p><p> </p><p>I've seen your post before, not 100% I've commented on one but I'm sorry your work mistreated you so often. No one should be put through that and everyone deserves fairness, especially at work. You're all there for the same reason after all.</p><p> </p><p>If I got to choose, I'd go with something like a pet store or Bunnings. Pet store because I love animals and it isn't too busy, and Bunnings because it's spacious tho definitely more busy. Definitely worried about being front end staff tho because of my anxiety but you never know. I am actually quite social, just my anxiety has taken away all my confidence. When it comes to talking to strangers I'm worried I'll mess something up or start to panic.</p><p>Would definitely prefer a casual spot to take off the pressure and hopefully ease myself into it. It's all new and very scary for me, but it's probably the first time I've given work an honest thought and really want to give it a go. </p><p> </p><p>Thank you again blues <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> Hope your day has been well</p></div>", "date": "11-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/starting-work-when-you-ve-never-had-a-job-before/td-p/569883" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi flop</p><p> </p><p>bunnings , pet store all good things I’m thinking Woolies 4 my next adventure into work . Confidence is hard but as I always say  to my dad Fake it till u make it it’s a bit of a fluff but if u can convince urself your confident others will think u are or at least I think so .I’m actually very quiet but lost a lot of my confidence too  it’s a hard road but will get there 🧸</p></div>", "date": "11-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/starting-work-when-you-ve-never-had-a-job-before/td-p/569883" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48203", "content": "<p>So much has changed nowadays, I have to think about a lot more things than before the prices of everything are so much and it's getting really hard to survive. The demand for everything is so high and don't think I have caught up to that demand of people getting employed. After I finish my degree it might not be relative to the job market but it'll still be good to know what those topics are. It's so hard to do university studies. I'm trying to adjust but I feel like I don't have time I'm eighteen and I'm really stressed people might say u have so much time but I'm alone by myself doing so much stuff by myself working full-time and renting my place. I failed some of my subjects it's getting annoying I don't have anyone to talk to in person it's all online which I really dislike, I know some people say just move on but I tried but I can't. I have been trying to do new things like go the gym, rock climbing, bike riding, swimming and skating. I still feel like I am missing something, everything is so new to me as I moved cities it's taking time to get used to but I still feel like I to be socialising to make friends. If there is anyone out that wants to be friends or needs a chat I want to be there for someone and I need someone so we can hang out and get bubble tea.</p></div>", "date": "11-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-have-not-felt-the-same-lately-it-s-been-strange-for-the-past/td-p/569940" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hello creative_thinking,</p><p> </p><p>You sound extremely brave, I could not deal with all that stress and be so out going all at once, so I'm impressed. I'm not in studies but I have a similar issue with feeling extremely under pressure when it comes to having things that need to be done.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry you feel isolated, I'm sure you'll meet some friends through all of those hobbies you're attending. It's literally bound to happen eventually. I guess until then focus on enjoying the activity itself as much as you can. Maybe have specific times for studying, specific days even and have others for your hobbies? So then your brain knows when to clock off.</p><p> </p><p>Not 100% sure on this forums policy on making friends, but if you need to chat ever, I and the rest of the community are happy to.</p><p> </p><p>Hope you feel better, cut yourself some slack, you're doing all that you can </p></div>", "date": "11-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-have-not-felt-the-same-lately-it-s-been-strange-for-the-past/td-p/569940" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48160", "content": "<p>Hi!</p><p>I am a teen that has not been diagnosed with OCD but am hoping to get support from others with this condition to fully understand it. Over the last few year I have had a several intrusive thoughts that will not go out of my head. I feel that all the pressure of my family and friends lives, feeling like if I can’t see them they may be in danger and it is up to me to not let that happen by making up rituals and the like. I have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past so wondering if I am overthinking (very likely as I do this a lot) possibly having ocd or it is just the anxiety? <br><br>In the past I have seen 2 different psychologists and one school councillor but have had a hard time opening up to them so have had no benefit from this. Any support or advise will be greatly appreciated.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks,</p><p>Pepnala-23</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/ocd/td-p/569805" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi Pepnala-23,</p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the forums. It sounds like you are living with a lot of anxiety and intrusive thoughts at the moment. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be constantly mindful of the safety of your family and friends. Excessive and inappropriate worry certainly can be a symptom of depression or an anxiety disorder. I know you mentioned that you have seen some psychologists and a school counsellor and not found benefit. Have you considered headspace? They are quite adept at helping teens with mood and anxiety disorders. They also have online support groups. You can find your closest centre here: <a href=\"https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/</a> </p><p> </p><p>They have some information about OCD here if you're interested in learning more: <a href=\"https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/ocd/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/ocd/</a> </p><p> </p><p>I would recommend having a read. Beyond blue also has some good info on OCD here: <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ocd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ocd</a> </p><p> </p><p>Please let me know if this is of any use or if there is any more info or advice that you're looking for. Keep us updated.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/ocd/td-p/569805" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48172", "content": "<p>Not sure where to put this but this felt best</p><p> </p><p>6 months ago I went to a 2 month camp trip where I lived with 7 other people. 3 of those 7 people bullied me everyday by constantly commenting on the way I ate, how much I ate and much more. They even had a list of foods I wasn't allowed to eat, these foods were mostly fatty foods such as avo, yogurt, etc. </p><p> </p><p>After 2 months of bullying I came home extremely underweight with lots of self-image issues. To this day, I struggle with eating food, especially avocado's and yogurt. (Which ironically used to be my comfort food) </p><p> </p><p>I am happy to say now I am at a healthy weight but still sometimes struggle with self-image. Today, I tried eating avocado toast! However, massive feelings of guilt and anxiety filled me while eating it. </p><p> </p><p>Some days are really bad but most days are good.</p><p> </p><p>Might keep updating on my progress, depends how I feel.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for this safe space,</p><p> </p><p>Joy</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trigger-foods/td-p/569865" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hey JoyBlackbird<br>\n<br>\nFirst of all: Welcome! We are so glad that you have found this space to share what you are going through. The bullying that you experienced is truly awful. No one deserves to go through something like that. It is completely understandable that this would hurt your self-esteem. You have clearly put in a great deal of work to get to where you are today and that is something that you should certainly feel proud of.<br>\n <br>\nWhile you have made amazing progress, it can take time for all of those feelings to go away. This is perfectly normal – it can take a good amount of time to recover from hard times.<br>\n <br>\nHopefully others within our lovely community can chime in with their own experiences and support, too. If you ever feel like talking about concerns relating to body image or eating, please do not hesitate to call/webchat the Butterfly Foundation: <a href=\"https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/</a>.<br>\n <br>\nWe hope this can be a safe and supportive space for you. We are glad to have you here <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span><br>\n <br>\nKind regards<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trigger-foods/td-p/569865" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48146", "content": "<p>Hello!</p><p>Ive recently started a new and very exciting job, which I’m thrilled with. My boss is lovely and the team are amazing. Most are far younger than me, but they’re all very inclusive and kind. <br>I have noticed that my anxiety is starting up again though. Everyone in the team are very high energy, and super confident to talk in front of each other about everything and anything. <br>What seems to happen with me is I am beginning to lose the confidence I entered with. I can’t seem to contribute to the conversations when I’m in a large group with the whole team. I almost shut down and become quite anxious. Thoughts of, will what I say be stupid, irrelevant, engaging like theirs? Sometimes, I think I’ve asked stupid questions and just don’t ask anymore. I’m better in small groups of 2 or 3, but big groups I’m terrible.</p><p>I am noticing it is affecting my happiness in the job already! I’m worried that my awkwardness is also being noticed by the others and it’s getting me down.</p><p> </p><p>anyone else going through this and what’s your advice please.</p><p>thank you</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "07-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-and-new-job/td-p/569675" }, { "author": "user-id/43202", "content": "<p>123hels</p><p>congratulations on your new job. <br>You may be surprised to find one of those super confident people may be anxious too.<br>They appear fine but their hands shake  and worry about what they will say.</p><p>can you write down in notes and see if you can speak first. <br>good luck. </p></div>", "date": "07-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-and-new-job/td-p/569675" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hey 123Hels,</p><p> </p><p>There's no pressure on you to contribute to a group chat if you don't feel the need. I'm sure some people have said some things in that situation that didn't take the entire team by storm, and I bet everyone moved on almost immediately and you yourself didn't mind nor think they were foolish if what they said didn't captivate everyone.</p><p> </p><p>You've heard it before, but people are way too concerned about themselves to be worrying about you. Us with anxiety being the prime example lol.</p><p> </p><p>If you take notice, you'll see people everyday having minor stuff ups that no one even acknowledges nor thinks twice about because we're all only human. As quirkywords stated, those people you view confident could be dealing with the exact same anxious thoughts and feelings as you, and I bet unless you've told them they won't have any idea that you even have anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this has made it all feel less daunting and has been comforting. You'll be okay. Good luck!</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-and-new-job/td-p/569675" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>123Hels,</p><p> </p><p>Congratulations on your new job, and we appreciate you reaching out.</p><p> </p><p>I also have quite bad anxiety, and it often manifests when I'm at work. People have told me that I appear quite confident and energetic regardless, so I'd imagine that behind the confidence of the staff at your work, they may also have doubts, anxious thoughts and worries sometimes, as Quirky has said.</p><p> </p><p>I don't think I posted in my work group chat for months after I started, and I was quite nervous to talk to my colleagues in social settings away from work, so I can understand your reservations here. If you don't feel like you have anything to say or if you're a bit fearful of speaking in front of a group, don't stress. I'd also argue that interactions you may perceive as awkward may not be as negatively received as you may think, and that most people would be understanding if you've just started at somewhere new.</p><p> </p><p>Don't be scared to ask questions! I know that's a lot easier said than done, but it's better to ask questions and go into something with sufficient information to do it well than to be underprepared. They don't have to be thought provoking questions either - I ask a lot of very basic questions at work that are probably perceived as common sense to others, but in my mind, it's always best to ask if unsure.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps!</p><p> </p><p>SB</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-and-new-job/td-p/569675" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>I never did well with groups even at school. one on one, and lucky if that, for me</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-and-new-job/td-p/569675" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48164", "content": "<p>I had a child during covid, lost touch with friends and have had family troubles for a while. Partner works very long hours and I work full time so child is in day care. On weekends I’m busy cleaning, cooking, washing and getting ready for the week. As a consequence I feel like I never have any down time and I don’t have anyone. I got drunk on Friday around work people so am also feeling anxious about that. Any advice?</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/alone-and-a-failure/td-p/569812" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>Somebody12,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for finding the strength to contact us, welcome to the forums.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing I would recommend is taking advantage of your lunch breaks at work. Whether you take a book in to read, or whether you go for a walk, anything that can give you a little chance to relax and unwind in the middle of a busy work day can be really effective. I usually pack some headphones and put on some music while I'm eating.</p><p> </p><p>Is there anything that your partner may be able to help out with around the house at all, even something small? Sharing roles and responsibilities can help take some of the stress off of one person.</p><p> </p><p>With regards to Friday around your coworkers, was anybody else intoxicated? In my experience, a few drunken nights out with work colleagues isn't unusual in most professions, so people may not have thought much of it, particularly if there were others doing the same. So long as you didn't harm yourself or others in the process, I would try not to be so hard on yourself. I'd argue that most people have a night like that at some point in their work or personal lives.</p><p> </p><p>How often do you work, are you flexible around your work hours at all? If so, would you feel comfortable reaching out to any of your friends who you may have lost touch with for a call or catch up? Even if it's a brunch on a random morning, or visiting each other's house for a chat, these kinds of catch ups can be impactful even if they're small. Calls may also be a good alternative, to catch up and hear about each other's lives without the pressure of having to leave your house or prepare for guests.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this is helpful, please feel free to chat some more with us if you'd like. Let me know how you're feeling about everything.</p><p> </p><p>All the best, SB</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/alone-and-a-failure/td-p/569812" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48158", "content": "<p><span> I would like to seek some advice. I am currently on my placement, and I am experiencing significant stress and feelings of being overwhelmed in the area I am into. I am unsure about how to handle it, and it is having a detrimental impact on my mental well-being. I am having panic attacks, depression and anxiety. I cannot express myself properly. I cannot even answer basic questions because of fear and lack of confidence within myself. I am on a lot of pressure. Can't sleep at night, can't eat properly. What should I do?</span></p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-can-i-go-to/td-p/569791" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi  -11 cara</p><p> </p><p>can you speak to your teacher ,? Is there a student support service? If so speak to the team leader @ your placement site , they should support you </p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-can-i-go-to/td-p/569791" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>_11cara,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for opening up to us here, and welcome to the forums.</p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry to hear that you've been struggling, placements can be difficult sometimes, I understand. I was on placement about a year and a half ago and experienced quite terrible burnout and stress. My mental health really suffered during this time. I remember keeping a diary/planner during this time to schedule in all my activities (placement, errands, socialisation, work, leisure etc.). It helps to mark out time to do specific activities, particularly things that may help you unwind and destress a little, even if it's just 10 or 15 minutes out of your day. </p><p> </p><p>Would you feel comfortable letting your supervisor, or the person in charge of your placement, know that you're struggling with answering questions? Generally, placement supervisors will be very understanding, particularly if you've never worked in that field before, or if it's your first time doing specific tasks or work. It may be helpful to let them know that you're a little nervous about several things, and they can work towards making things easier for you to adjust to.</p><p> </p><p>I stopped myself from having a panic attack the other day, and I want to share the tips that my psychologist gave me that worked really well for me. Firstly, recognising when you're about to have one. Your breathing may increase, you may become more aware of your heartbeat, you could start to sweat more. Acknowledge that these changes are happening to you. You can try to slow or control your breathing, with four seconds of inhaling, four seconds holding, four seconds exhaling and then another four seconds holding. If trying to calm your breathing is ineffective, movement is generally effective for me. Going to the bathroom, stepping outside, going for a walk. </p><p> </p><p>I hope there is some helpful advice in here that resonates with you, and feel free to keep chatting more with us. We're here to support you.</p><p> </p><p>Take care, SB</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-can-i-go-to/td-p/569791" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48159", "content": "<p>I suffered from major burnout in 2021 after the passing away of my mother and suffered from overwork (60+ hours a week) and a very toxic management structure (I work in tech).  In 2022 I took about 6 months off to reset and went back into the workforce on a short contract to get my confidence back.<br><br>Late last year I spent much time looking for the right permanents role and was excited to start at a new organisation.  I explained my burnout openly and what I was looking for an organization and the interview process was really positive and a match in values and culture.    After I started they needed someone to help out on another tech project with the promise of hiring people to support me and then I would eventually go back to my regular job (the one I was hired to do).  However, none of this has eventuated and I have been working in 3 roles with little support from my manager.  <br><br>I thought I was doing ok from a point of view of managing my stress levels, but as we get closer and closer to launch the work is piling on and I have all levels of the organization literally hounding me.  My peers have all come to me asking me how I can be doing all of this by myself.  I keep raising these issues with my manager and it was acknowledged each time \"you have a lot to do\" and \"Tell me how I can support\". - support hasn't come.<br><br>Last week I started having anxiety attacks, something I hadn't experienced since my first burnout and when my mother passed away.   Along with that, not sleeping and a constant headache.  The thought of work tomorrow has me in fear and dread, I've already cried a few times and had an anxiety attack.  I was supposed to catch up on work today and I couldn't even face it.<br><br>I want to take some time off, but I am literally a single point of failure and me not being there is a major blow, I am feeling guilt but also knowing my mental health is a real issue.    My partner has suggested I just go to work and do the bare minimum,  the issue is I have no control over these anxiety attacks and when they come.  I have presentations across every team in the organisation, plus working with the delivery team to launch....I am so scared I'll literally collapse in front of them.  <br><br>I am not even sure what I am asking here.  I just feel so trapped.   I also know taking time off won't solve the issue.  I can take a week but when I come back it's the same workload.  I need them to change something...  Help!?</p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/needing-time-out-feeling-overwhelmed-by-work-and-having-anxiety/td-p/569795" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Quit or go to worksafe they are not providing a safe work place go to fair work as well complain to HR if your manager is not helping you . I’ve found companies  including HR look after companies not the individual. Fight for what you need for your own health it’s not worth it they may be better less stressful jobs </p></div>", "date": "09-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/needing-time-out-feeling-overwhelmed-by-work-and-having-anxiety/td-p/569795" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48505", "content": "<p>Hi all,</p><p> </p><p>I'd love some advice. I've recently (in the past week) started a new job that is way outside my comfort zone. I really struggle with change and this often results in panic attacks, severe anxiety and OCD. </p><p> </p><p>Because the job is so outside my comfort zone, I'm finding it extremely difficult and want to run away, but I know that's not the answer. </p><p> </p><p>I feel like I should bring up with my new employer that my mental health is slipping a bit, but I really don't know how they will react. It's often harder keeping it private, but also I'm afraid to bring it up. My question is really, should I let them know I'm struggling, and if so, how? </p><p> </p><p>Ps. They don't have a HR department, so I'd have to chat directly with the boss. </p></div>", "date": "05-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health-amp-new-workplace/td-p/571752" }, { "author": "user-id/48508", "content": "<p>Hi J.a.d </p><p>I can relate and understand. I also struggle with change and suffer anxiety and depression and have panic attacks.</p><p>I changed areas in my job and was unable to keep my struggles it private  and back my emotions  So as hard as it was I took a deep breath and finally after weeks of attempting to tell my boss. I finally asked them if I could have a chat. I told them everything about what I was going through. And to my surprise they were understanding and without making me feel any different from anyone else. It has been a better working environment. And only my boss knows. </p><p>I recommend just asking your boss if you could please speak with them privately. And just tell them thank you for the job opportunity and that you enjoy what you do but you are going through some struggles and just tell them what you would like them to know.</p><p>Hope this helps, wish you all the best  </p></div>", "date": "05-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health-amp-new-workplace/td-p/571752" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/8120", "content": "<p>I have just read that Jeff Kennett thinks that people like me who take medication to deal with chronic anxiety are taking 'the easy way out'. Really needed to hear your opinion Jeff. Who the hell do you think you are to make a judgement on me and the thousands like me who rely on medication to live a relatively normal life? I thought Beyond Blue was interested in assisting people like me. Clearly not. You can take your feel good organisation and shove it.</p></div>", "date": "06-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-very-angry/td-p/37038" }, { "author": "user-id/36087", "content": "<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span lang=\"EN-GB\">Dear\nMaxwell,<p></p></span></p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span lang=\"EN-GB\">Jeff in no\nway meant to say that medication is an easy option.  Anxiety is a serious\ncondition and at <em>beyondblue </em>we know just how tough it is to take the steps to\nrecovery.  Medication is one of a number of treatment options that are\navailable and for many people it is very successful.  We are sorry if we\nhave in any way caused you distress.   <p></p></span></p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span lang=\"EN-GB\">Kate\nCarnell  B. Pharm<p></p></span></p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\"><span lang=\"EN-GB\">beyondblue\nCEO<p></p></span></p></div>", "date": "07-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-very-angry/td-p/37038" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<div><div class=\"\"><div class=\"\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Why did Jeff Kennett create Beyond Blue?</span></span></div><div class=\"\"><span>2000. It was</span><span> </span><strong>a conversation with his daughter, following the loss of two of his daughter's young male friends to suicide</strong><span>, that sparked the inception of Beyond Blue for the Hon. Jeff Kennett AC. A national dialogue kicked off, focusing on awareness of depression and reducing the associated stigma.</span></div></div></div></div>", "date": "05-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-very-angry/td-p/37038" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48497", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p><p>Im Madison. I’ve been struggling with anxiety since i was 11 and am 20 now. I moved to australia 7 months ago and my anxiety is back.</p><p>Most people give me the “oh you just moved here, you just need to settle” but i’m where i should be and am stable now. I have panic attacks with really bad neurological symptoms that mimic heart attacks as well as physical symptoms that cause my heart to race. I got prescribed sertra and proprananlol but won’t take it because i’m scared that i will have more panic attacks in the adjustment period. I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do. I’m not used to GPs giving out meds because only psychiatrists do that in south africa and i’m not sure i trust my GPs judgment as much as i would a psychiatrist.</p></div>", "date": "05-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constant-state-of-panic-with-daily-panic-attacks/td-p/571719" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear madevil_beans,</p><p> </p><p>A very warm and caring welcome to our forums,</p><p> </p><p>I am so that your struggling with anxiety…</p><p> </p><p>Im wondering if it might be a good idea for you to make another appointment with your Dr and discuss your fears about taking your medication and how in South Africa only psychiatrist prescribe medication….and if your Dr could possibly make an appointment or recommend a psychiatrist for you to visit…..to settle your anxiety…</p><p> </p><p>My Dr first prescribed anti depression and anxiety meds for me…which I was full of anxiety taking and held off for a few weeks, but in the end I decided I would give anything a go to help me feel better…so I took them and for me no side effects….When I finally got an appointment with my psychiatrist he kept me on the meds my Dr prescribed me…..</p><p> </p><p>Before I started my meds I had very frequent and terrible panic attacks…I still get them but very rarely now…and no where near as severe….When I do feel them coming on I try hard to ground myself and distract my thoughts from what’s happening to my body, onto something that I like doing which takes my full concentration to do it…..</p><p> </p><p>I so much want to very gently urge you to please, reach out to your Dr and talk about your fears of taking your meds…</p><p> </p><p>Please talk here when you feel up to it…we are all here for you, when we can be..</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts and care Dear Madevil_beans..</p><p> </p><p>Grandy..</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constant-state-of-panic-with-daily-panic-attacks/td-p/571719" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48433", "content": "<p>Hi, I feel the last 6-12 months have really taken a toll on my mental health. </p><p>I’ve recently noticed I am easily irritable, resentful, struggling to maintain or form new relationships, socially withdrawn and very self-critical. It doesn’t help I am going through a career change and currently a mature nursing student. <br>Due to a mixture of visa purposes and personal circumstances, a lot of close friends I have made have left to go home or moved interstate. My partner’s social circle on the other hand keeps expanding and I can’t help but feel jealously around this. I have to tried to connect with likeminded people but it’s a struggle. I’m not the outgoing, sociable person I once was when I got here.  I feel so alone all of a sudden and with my studies on top, I’m fatigued and the last thing I want to do is try again and make new friends. A lot of my uni cohort are very young too. As a result, I experience sadness and loneliness. I also have a habit of negative thinking that I struggle to shift. I am just finding life tough lately and never had this before. </p></div>", "date": "30-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p><span>From what you have posted you have gone through a lot with career shifts, studies, visa stress. I</span><span>t is understandable that the last year would take a toll with so much change and loss of your support systems and feeling irritable, withdrawn, and critical of yourself makes sense given the circumstances. I am guessing you feel you do not have anyone to talk to about how you are feeling? You mentioned in your post about Uni studies, so I wonder if you are able to talk to counsellors in the student services about what you are going through - they might be able to give you advice on ways forward.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I am curious to know what changed in the last 6-12 months for this to happen, other than the friends moving away, or was that the trigger for you?</span></p><p> </p><p><span>In my own story I know what it is like to be (in my case) constantly irritable, and self-critical. It sucks. I wish I was able to give you some suggestions but I don't really have anything to say at the moment.  <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> But you deserve to find some happiness. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Lastly, I wonder if you have talked with your husband about how things are for you? Hopefully he will be suppportive.</span></p></div>", "date": "30-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Nurse-in-need~</p><p>I'd like to welcome you to the Forum, coming here was a wise move as it allows you to see what others think.</p><p> </p><p>Could it be you are being too hard on yourself at the moment and expect too much of yourself right now? When you look at what you are dealing with: career change, a very taxing course of study, loss of friends and seeing your partner having a fuller social life and maybe feeling left behind.</p><p> </p><p>Each of these things by itself causes stress, which easily leads to anger, self criticism and being withdrawn.</p><p> </p><p>Study can be all-consuming and simply not leave energy or time for other things. One advantage you have - which I had too - was to be a mature age student. True it means you may feel cut off from the younger set, however it gives you the confidence and self knowledge to get the best out of your studies, and also not be distracted by wrestling with all the life experiences new to those that are just starting life.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sure after qualification you will find a circle of those that become close to you, it is the nature of nursing (I'm speaking from experience having married one and an offspring who is another)</p><p> </p><p>In the meantime perhaps there are things you can do to help you cope. Joining a club or society at uni, healthy diet, reasonable exercise, having something to look forward to at the end of each day and maybe just simply being with your partner, forgetting the stresses for a while.</p><p> </p><p>We do feel for you, would you like to come back and talk some more?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "30-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/48446", "content": "<p>hello, i am new here , i just joined about a minute ago, so sorry if my response is very short or not proper but i just wanted to say i relate to this a lot, especially the self critical, irritable, and struggling to maintain relationships and form new ones, and being withdrawn. I am sorry you are going through this. </p></div>", "date": "31-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear HFAPS (sorry the long name defeated my typing skills:) -with a wave to Nurse-in-need.</p><p> </p><p>I also like to welcome you here to the Forum. Your post is certainly in the right place, as it is most often a comfort when someone reads that they are not alone and others have similar thoughts and worries.</p><p> </p><p>As for being short, well I probably go on for too long - so that makes for a balance:) You also feel for nurse-in-need, and that says something about your empathetic nature.</p><p> </p><p>Do you mind if I ask what your opinion is? Do you think the things you feel \"<em>self critical, irritable, and struggling to maintain relationships and form new ones, and being withdrawn</em>\" are coming about due to the pressure of your studies, or that and other  things too?</p><p> </p><p>Just the study alone can make a huge difference in life. I always envied those that  partied late, seemed to do precious little study and still always did well -sigh</p><p> </p><p>Going though life felling all those unpleasant things really needs to be addressed. I'm living proof life can be better, in fact enjoyable. Do you have any techniques to help you and reduce these unwanted feelings?</p><p> </p><p>Do you have any support, personal from family or freinds? Also maybe medical? Going it alone is extra hard.</p><p> </p><p>I do hope you'd like to come back and converse again</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/48446", "content": "<p>That’s alright the name is long haha, yeah I don’t know it is the study , I’m doing Masters and it’s so hard , and lately things haven’t been going my way relationships wise. Like as I type this I am in (emotional) pain , I have so much work to do , and I have to push really hard , I’m not really okay , and it just doesn’t seem things will get better</p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/48446", "content": "<p>Also Thankyou very much for the welcome really did not know where to start on this website</p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>HI hfaps, welcome from me also. </p><p> </p><p>*waves to nurse-in-need*</p><p> </p><p>well done for getting into a masters program. what are you studying?</p><p> </p><p>listening if you want to chat...</p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/48446", "content": "<p>Thankyou , So I’m doing pharmacy </p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>Duh! I could have worked that out from your name. How are your studies going?</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "04-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-know-where-to-start-but-here-it-goes/td-p/571319" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>I have struggled with my condition for long time and it is sometimes a challenge to find out</p><p> </p><p>how do I heal?</p><p> </p><p>Everybodies pathway to healing is different people don't all like to do the same activities. You have to find out what makes you happy and most importantly what brings me peace and calm. There are many  activities you can do to help you relax and keep on a positive pathway.</p><p> </p><p>You must find what your passionate about is it cooking a meal for the whole family. It could also be working with tools to build a table. It could be playing sport like soccer or rugby.</p><p> </p><p>There are so many wonderful things you can do you just do what your passionate about don't worry about what others think of you. Remember there is only 1 you and we all have our wonderful special gifts that we must harness to the best of our ability so we can shine like a diamond for all to see how special you are.</p><p> </p><p>There will be time you will lose confidence in your ability beleive me there where times were I would second guess myself and lack confidence to step out of my shell and face the world and be a powerful positive influence on the world.</p><p> </p><p>If you beleive in your heart that you are powerful and you want to change the world no one has the right to be negative and make you feel bad you need to have powerful positive influences in your life that make you feel positive in yout own ability.  </p></div>", "date": "04-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/walking-towards-a-place-of-healing-and-peace-of-mind/td-p/571652" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48480", "content": "<p>I'm someone who self helps. Been through alot. Yet I'm still here. I don't now where to turn for answers yet I'm not one to seek them for myself or my own well being. Always there for others more then myself.  I'm just lost always have been. I'm just lost bored &amp; hurting. Always have been. Good or bad it's always the same . I don't talk to anyone as to how I'm feeling as it's my own problems. I don't like to weigh people especially family with my problems. Keep a good face. Also  I'd like to believe I'm ok. Thought I'm not I know I'm not. But why I ask. But I'm not one who asks for help. </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Hey Hail,</p><p>Sounds like you're stuck in a rut.</p><p>Are your problems weighing you down or holding you back?</p></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/48480", "content": "<p>I need help in understanding. I'm self resiltant but I know something is not ok within me &amp; I'm not quite ok. Need help to push to get help and find answers. To persue a more happy fulfilled life. </p>\n\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/48480", "content": "<p>Absolutely they are</p></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>So which ones could you discard to start lightening the load?</p><p>Alternatively, which seem to be occupying too much space in your thoughts?</p></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/48480", "content": "<ul><li>Well most are past issues. Been through alot if things  Still effect me, but In wich aren't anything to do with the now. I've kind of worked through those. I think , though mentally I'm stuck. Like think they are in the past but they do keep in your mind. Latley been struggling financially. Reminds me no matter how much I do good. Or try to do good my life well no matter honest I am how hard I try for me be no good in return. Always pain and hardship. I mean I might have GD family a job finally i can grow in. But I'm still single, no kids, struggling financially and well no hope in any mind what I'm ever doing on this planet. I've always struggled.  confidence been low. though in this job I've alot of responsibility. Grown me . Been Training staff. I've gone out of my comfort zone Alot latley in many ways. But I've come back to same hollow feeling. I'm bored wanting more. Feel lost and lonely. Verry itchy</li></ul></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/48480", "content": "<ul><li>I've never really talked to anyone much about anything. Hit alot of past issues pain I've never takes out about . Help others but not myself. As well my issues are my issues but quick help others. But I've many things I've bottled up though I like think they not effected me. But I guess they have. Also I think I've underling health issues wich I won't believe I have or need help with. I'm like that..though I wonder how healthy it is to be like that. But I'm one work hard do good keep good face no matter how I'm feeling underneath. But I'm hurting, lonely lost and don't know where to turn to he honest . Not sure what's wrong with me coz I could be happy. I've people around me in wich I could build happiness from. God they think I'm ok. I try I work n live but still idnk. </li></ul></div>", "date": "02-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Sorry, I checked out last night prior to your replies...</p><p>It's good to know you aren't dealing with any major (past) problems on top of your present struggles.</p><p>I've found that boredom and that restless feeling of seeking more is the precursor to some great change in life - we actually need this to prod us into action.</p><p>Getting ahead financially and finding direction is a bit like dragging a bus: takes ages just to see it move, but once the momentum kicks in things tend to get progressively easier and, dare I suggest, quite fun.</p><p>And, somewhere along that journey we encounter many people and experiences where, if we are patient and observant, one just clicks for you and all those fears (single, no kids, purpose) fly out the window.</p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Me again,</p><p>We are all a product of our past to some extent, and I think most will have endured injustice and suffering to varying degrees to form some reticence for the risk of being hurt.</p><p>Sometimes this is worthy of caution but we can double bluff ourselves and miss opportunities when they arise.</p><p>Heading off to the GP is always a good idea to settle concerns or just pick up a few pointers for improving/maintaining health. Anything untoward will be quickly referred to the specialists for a closer look - prevention is better than cure.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/need-help/td-p/571553" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47520", "content": "<p>Hi i'm a 21 year old female and I don't think I am loveable by anyone? i've never had a proper boyfriend and have always had on and off things with men but I feel like I am not attractive to anyone, especially men I find attractive. I always say in my head as soon as I see a man that I find attractive they probably think I am a disgusting slob and could never imagine themselves with a girl like me. Every single person I either pass on the street or see, I start pin pointing every thing I see on them that I don't have. \"perfect hair, the ideal figure, a nice fashion sense\" the qualities I believe I lack are the ones I see in everyone that passes me. I wish I had that I wish I looked like that I wish I wish, I walk pass a stranger and notice these things so why can I never see them in myself. I know this sounds ridiculous and I understand there are worse things in the world that are going on but thought id see if anyone can help or might even relate to these thoughts and feelings.</p></div>", "date": "21-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way about yourself. It takes a lot of courage to open up and share your thoughts and feelings - many people can relate to experiencing self-doubt and struggles with self-esteem.</p><p> </p><p>It can be challenging when we compare ourselves to others and focus on our perceived flaws while admiring qualities in others. And self-critical thoughts can be powerful, but they often don't reflect reality.</p><p>Beauty and attractiveness are subjective, and each person has their own unique preferences.</p><p> </p><p>I like the ideas in kintsugi ... the Japanese art of repairing a broken object. Here, imperfection is embraced. I would think other people were perfect like a clean china plate. Myself I was the broken plate smashed on the floor. Talking about with my psychologist, I discovered that plate once repaired was (i) unique, (ii) more precious, (iii) and stronger than it was before.</p><p> </p><p>You deserve love and happiness, just like anyone else. If that means professional help, that is OK. But if I also said that you look good just as you are, how would that feel?</p></div>", "date": "22-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/16903", "content": "<p>I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but please remember that these negative thoughts about yourself are not accurate reflections of your worth or desirability. It's common for people to compare themselves to others and focus on their perceived flaws, but it's important to recognize that everyone has their own unique qualities and beauty.</p></div>", "date": "22-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/47825", "content": "<p>Hi there, </p><p>I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> I don't really have any answer to help, but I just wanted to say that I can relate to how you feel. I'm 24 female, and never had a real relationship, only casual things. I find it really hard to interact with people if I haven't done my makeup and am wearing the right outfit, and my hair is done. I know realistically this probably doesn't change how I look drastically, but its an insecurity thing. I worry that I'm so ugly without these things, that a partner would be repulsed if they got to know and see me just as I am. I hate feeling this way because I just want to love and accept myself, but it's really hard sometimes. I try to remind myself that I'm not really attracted to the most beautiful people, beyond a superficial level, and I want to be with someone who is kind and nice to me. And I try to hope that I will find someone who loves me beyond what I look like. But I often feel like I'll never be enough, there will always be someone better, more desirable. I don't really know how to feel more confident, but you're not alone in feeling this way. I hope you are okay. </p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/47854", "content": "<ul><li>I completely understand, I had the same mindset at your age. Low self-esteem, thought no body loved me.  My advice love and appreciate YOU, you are a special unique person.  Be kind to yourself. Have a beautiful heart, a smile makes you beautiful.  I unfortunately did not have this advice and ended up in a bad marriage (DV) as I looking for love.  I needed to love myself first and believe in my self.  Now I am a women of wisdom, 50 and loving life.</li></ul></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/46041", "content": "<p>Hello guest 5925,</p><p>I am a 70 year old male but your words and situation resonate very strongly with me.   I have spent the greater part of my life wondering why I have never had a successful relationship.   We all long to be loved and valued for who and what we are but sometimes it can be a long hard uphill battle.   I respectfully suggest that you might stop comparing yourself to everyone you meet.   That is never going to work in your favour.   In fact, it will make you bitter and resentful.   I often think what advice I would give myself if I had to go through life again and the overwhelming outcome is to get your own house in order first as far as accepting and loving yourself goes.   Establish your own presence in the world and refuse to let anyone else define who you are.   You have as much right to be here as anyone else so why not make it something worth doing.   I agree with you that this world is strongly based on appearances.   But a relationship shouldn't be based on physical appearance.   It should incorporate love and understanding and all of the things that go with them.   I'm no expert but I have plenty of life experience under my belt as far as looking for love goes.   Build up your own confidence first and become the person you want to be before you start searching for someone to share the rest of your life.   To be brutally honest, I would rather live alone than be with someone who did not respect or value me.   </p><p>Respectfully yours</p><p>amd</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<div class=\"\"><a href=\"user-id/47520\" target=\"_self\"><span class=\"\">Guest_5925</span></a></div><div class=\"\">So many thoughts enter our heads. I have and am currently seeking peace from these thoughts. Some of the tools I have picked up along my way to nurture myself are ....</div><ol><li>Never compare yourself to anyone. There is no one in this world that is YOU. Your the only one created exactly like YOU. There has been no one made like YOU before you and there will be no one like you after YOU.</li><li>With this in mind , you are actually perfect. Stop and be present at every moment. You are exactly in the right place at the right time. You are doing exactly what your meant to be doing right now. It's ok , you are ok !</li><li>Faith Ashenden - Have a look at this website. She is very welcoming with some very interesting help.</li><li>Start a journal , a place you can be totally honest with yourself.</li><li>The writing below is a favorite of mine and has been over the years. I want to share it with you.</li></ol><div class=\"\"><strong>A Return to Love </strong></div><div class=\"\"><div class=\"\"><div class=\"\"><div class=\"\">“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”</div><div class=\"\">You are never alone.</div><div class=\"\">T</div></div></div></div></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-ugly-all-the-time-and-i-compare-myself-to-every-single/td-p/566035" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47935", "content": "<p>I was wondering if anxiety is triggered by sleepless nights or the way around. Since I haven’t been sleeping i have had anxiety! Now I have anxiety as I’m scared I won’t sleep at night. I have to take medication to sleep</p></div>", "date": "19-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-sleepless-nights-or-insomnia/td-p/568297" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>It's both. Too much anxiety can make it hard to get to sleep. And not being able to get to sleep can cause you to be anxious. It's a vicious circle. That's why I've found it important to have something to look forward to the next day. And to have felt like you've done something today. Just my opinion. Still struggling with it myself. I find reading novels helps because it takes my mind off the day to day worries.</p></div>", "date": "19-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-sleepless-nights-or-insomnia/td-p/568297" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>i don't know which way around but I suffer from extreme anxiety and I can take up to 5 hours to go to sleep. My brain will just not shut off. And I take something to help me sleep, which sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.</p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-sleepless-nights-or-insomnia/td-p/568297" }, { "author": "user-id/48481", "content": "<p>Its hard to know isnt it - sleep problems are so complex. I used to leave the curtains open when I went to bed as I thought that would help me get up earlier. Recently I discovered it was better to leave them closed and keep the room as dark as possible as I slept better.  Also, instead of turning lights on whenever I go into a room I started using candles (I dont have dimmers) in the rooms I needed to go in and out of such as the bathroom - and this helps me sleep better too.  I do blow them out when I go to bed though. You could use a torch too. My eyes adjust to the dark and I dont need light to find my way to the bathroom in the night.  All in all there has been an improvement.  Try small changes in lifestyle, diet, vitamins and see what happens. </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "03-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-sleepless-nights-or-insomnia/td-p/568297" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48466", "content": "Some times i bite off more than I can chew<br>\n<br>\nI have a disability and it's a challenge, I can't handle it<br>\n<br>\nPlease advise me<br>\n<br>\nI bully my self and have no faith in my self.</div>", "date": "01-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-problem/td-p/571505" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear AC57~</p><p>Welcome. I'm afraid life is not always fair, and some peole get the short end of the stick, disabilities being an example.</p><p> </p><p>I too have physical limitations and can sympathise in the challenges given to you every day. It can be hard to accept at times and I get silly and stubborn and try to do things I know perfectly well are beyond me - then fail and pay the consequences.</p><p> </p><p>I realise then I'm unwise and should be more accepting. Maybe I'll improve <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":confused_face:\">😕</span></p><p> </p><p>I do know what can help, and that is to set my sights on things that are within reach, and when I attain them I feel better about myself, after all these are victories.</p><p> </p><p>I'm only talking generally because I don't know your circumstances, I would like to be more specific if you'd feel like coming back and saying more.</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "01-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-problem/td-p/571505" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<p>Struggling again with employment and being understood and accepted by mainstream people.</p></div>", "date": "29-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finding-my-worth/td-p/571262" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p><span>hello and welcome.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with employment and feeling misunderstood. It's painful and frustrating when it seems like others don't accept or \"get\" us. Just know that you have inherent worth and gifts, even if they aren't valued by everyone. Please note this is a safe and non-judgmental space... if you want to share more of your story I'm listening.</span></p></div>", "date": "30-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finding-my-worth/td-p/571262" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<p>I have struggled most of my life to find my place in this world. I have wandered in search of connection with what is real and try to keep away from what is fabricated by others thoughts of what is right and wrong. I have always worked and been employed. Being told I care too much or buck the system in some way. I try to conform yet find it frustrating , feeling like a caged animal. I feel the pain in others and connect with their truth. Human kind can be so hurtful and disengaged with their own kind. Is being kind in the face of vulnerability so hard ? I have found those who are bullies and controlling are usually more in need of compassion than those who are bullied and treated unkindly. Understanding both sides is tiring. I keep battling to keep my head above water , this time I have been hit hard. I have conformed and still did my best , still not good enough. Where to from here ?</p></div>", "date": "31-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finding-my-worth/td-p/571262" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello again,</p><p> </p><p>that has also been said to me .... that I am too kind. I try to disregard such statements. I just act how  would like to be treated by others. Being kind is one thing, but kindness that interferes with your boundaries or irritable at the same time is the unhealthy.  When you said \"un<span>derstanding both sides is tiring\", can you tell me what coping mechanisms or strategies you have tried?  I know these can be sometimes hit or miss. I can share what I do if that helps?</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finding-my-worth/td-p/571262" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48028", "content": "<p>I'm looking for inspiration! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":thought_balloon:\">💭</span></p><p> </p><p><strong><em><u>what do you do to bring your anxiety down/ground you in the moment?</u></em></strong></p><p> </p><p>living with racing intrusive thoughts is nothing new to me, but the past couple of days have been horrific! like it's been turned up 1000% <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face_with_sweat:\">😅</span> endless endless images and sounds and thought spirals about the end of the world, climate change, nuclear war, my family's safety/health, my future, germs, my health/safety it is just relentless and is so much worse than normal <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":dizzy_face:\">😵</span> I feel like I'm going insaneeeeee haha <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face_with_sweat:\">😅</span></p><p> </p><p>so, I thought I'd reach out to you sweet chickens for some ideas! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p><p> </p><p><strong><em><u>what do you do to bring your anxiety down/ground you in the moment?</u></em></strong></p><p> </p><p>of course there's the classics we all know so well: do some mindfulness <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":herb:\">🌿</span> have a bath <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":bathtub:\">🛁</span> journal <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":writing_hand:\">✍️</span> go for a walk <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":footprints:\">👣</span> etc etc etc blaaahhhhh bla blahhgghasdfghjkl...<br><br>I mean those are great! they're classics for a reason! but I suppose I'm just curious to see if anyone has any other little personal hacks? tips? tricks? insights? comments? thoughts? advice? <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":nerd_face:\">🤓</span></p><p><br>I'd love to know what little bits of magic are swimming around in our collective lived experience brains <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":cowboy_hat_face:\">🤠</span></p><p> </p><p>can't wait to hear your thoughts!</p><p>I'm off to eat a pie, talk later! x</p></div>", "date": "27-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Squid-face~</p><p>You are right there are some methods that most people can gain benefit from and there are others that are more unique, not surprising as everyone and their circumstances are different.</p><p> </p><p>For instance I have found, after some practice, that <a href=\"https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Smiling Mind</a> can help a lot.</p><p> </p><p>The definitive thread on this subject is very long with lots of contributors, well worth a browse.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/m-p/50482#M7636\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/m-p/50482#M7636</a></p><p> </p><p>HTH</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "27-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Squid-face,</p><p> </p><p>I heard about the challenges you're facing and wanted to share some practices that have personally helped me.</p><p> </p><p>Getting outdoors and being active has been incredibly beneficial for my wellbeing. While walking certainly has its own charm, I've found that jogging elevates the experience to another level. The feeling of pushing myself a bit more, the rhythm of my footsteps, and the rush of endorphins, the sensation of breaking a sweat, all contribute to making my mind clearer and my mood more stable. Moreover, I've noticed that my anxiety tends to diminish significantly when I incorporate daily jogging into my routine.</p><p> </p><p>During the weekends, I like to venture a little further into nature, spending time hiking in forests or along the seaside. Immersing myself in these environments, absorbing the beauty of the views, breathing in the fresh air, and listening to the birds, all add an extra layer of tranquility and healing.</p><p> </p><p>Just as Melbourne, my city, is full of such beautiful places to explore, I'm sure your city has its own wonderful spots. I strongly believe that physical activities like jogging or hiking in such settings can make a significant difference.</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/48028", "content": "<p>hey Croix!<br><br></p><p>smiling mind is a great app hey, I really like the gratitude session, it's only short but really helps me to stop and think for a second <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p><p> </p><p>and thanks for the link to the thread! I appreciate it! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":nerd_face:\">🤓</span></p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/48028", "content": "<p>hey Mark!</p><p> </p><p>thanks for the input! I definitely have some beautiful natural places around where I live, thanks for the recommendation <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":herb:\">🌿</span> I should definitely explore more <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":herb:\">🌿</span></p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>No worries at all, all the best<span> <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span></span></p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi squid face ,</p><p> </p><p>I find walking helps ,also cleaning the house like a lot even getting into the garden , baking a cake, Colouring in  . I’m struggling a lot at the moment myself so keeping busy with other things is a good distraction from the stress and anxiety. </p></div>", "date": "01-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-s-your-favourite-way-to-chilllllllllllll-ouuutttt/td-p/568945" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>We as a society underestimat the true potential that women bring to the economy. There are total industries that rely on the female work force and I feel they are not totally appreciated for there contribution to our life as a man I respect and am gratful for my mum and the guidance of my sister these many wonderful years.</p><p> </p><p>There are industries like child care, nursing and all the caring profession that as a society we can't live without. I think there are not enough women CEO's. There is also work that needs to be done on the domestic violence front .</p><p> </p><p>The first rule in life is respect your parents and especially your mum because she looked after you and kept you safe from all the harm that would harm you.</p><p> </p><p>Women now drive the world economy. Globally, they control about 20 trillion dollars annually. That figure could climb higher as we develope as an economy. A womens place is not in the home it is equal or even more important then a man. We as a society need to treasure the benifits that women bring to the home and the work place because we could live without them. I beleive we need to work on the gender pay gap as a society we are judged as a society for how we treat the most vunerable and most importantly how we treat women.</p><p> </p><p>We must make sure that our girls in school are highly educated so they can walk there path with pride and dignity. I beleive it is a womens chioce and her decision alone with the guidance of her parents to the decisions they make in life. There should be more university places avalible to women. There needs to be more child and family friendly work places where women can drop of there kids and go to work safely with them having peice of mind and job security.  Women need to be given the freedom to live in peace and harmony to prosper and to grow to reach there full potential in life.</p><p> </p><p>To women in years gone by was a disadvantage but it doesn't have to be that was women are powerful and brilliant at the same time and they have the strength to be successful in the board room and the home we must be gratful for the gift that our mothers and sisters give to us. To this day I still seek my sisters council for important matters.</p><p> </p><p>Teaching boys respect for women at a young age is imperitive to there development as good strong powerful respectful men. You could be the most powerful man in the world but if you don't respect women as a rule you will not be ultimately successful.</p><p> </p><p>Women need to realise there full and powerful potential.  </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "27-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-beautiful-power-of-women/td-p/568931" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome,</p><p> </p><p>Thankyou for posting but I have a few problems with the post. I dont clearly see where the relevance is to mental health issues and I dont see any questions to be answered which is how this forum commonly operates.</p><p> </p><p>Most of what you said I agree with and could even expand on eg I believe we need far more female leaders in the world. I cant recall any past war started by a female tyrant. Margaret Thatcher took UK to war but her sovereignty was attacked first, she was in defence.</p><p> </p><p>Re: <em>\"A womens place is not in the home it is equal or <u>even more important then a man.</u>\"  </em>I dont agree and find this comment to be potentially divisive.</p><p> </p><p>Re: \"<em>There are total industries that rely on the female work force and I feel they are not totally appreciated for there contribution to our life as a man\"  </em><strong>Who doesnt appreciate them as they do a man?- examples?</strong> I think both genders fill different roles in the workforce to compliment each other for the greater good, to achieve as a workforce. 99% or so of bricklayers are men no doubt due to their physical build. Roles primarily only women fill due to their  greater suitability... </p><p> </p><p>It is a subject that goes both ways but your post is female tilted imo. The old traditional roles are gone and I believe a good majority of men now appreciate the roles women play in our lives. Yes we have a ways to go before equality will be satisfactory like some of the things you mentioned like equal pay (which is remarkable nowadays that it doesn't exist) and certainly teaching boys more respect for the opposite sex which is more a home issue than a teacher role so changes to parenting culture is a must. However respect goes both ways, as a male I feel lack of respect from some females as if I'm less important than them.</p><p> </p><p>Lastly, I want to mention parental roles. As a male, a dad and a love for my children, that love is equal and not any less than mothers for their children. I grew up with the odd unacceptable comment \"but she's the mother and she loves her children more\" or \"you're only the father\" or \"but I gave birth, how could you know how that is, the bond I have with my child\" and so on. This form of self raising importance over and above men, fathers is deplorable, non achieving and destructive. It is divisive and usually plain wrong. In the animal kingdom of which we are a part, males have a role to play sometimes different to females, sometimes the same but never less important nor less loving.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-beautiful-power-of-women/td-p/568931" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47644", "content": "<p>I have bad bad bad anxiety feel weak tummy churning sweating hot and cold flushes no breath please help</p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/569012" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>When the world seems just too much to tackle, I find a long soak in the hot tub can help clear the fog (and sinuses!), calm the belly and warm the soul.</p><p>It is also helps to organise thoughts and put things into perspective again.</p><p> </p><p>Naturally, don't be afraid to seek medical attention <u>first</u> if you feel this is something out of the ordinary for you.</p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/569012" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Pearcey,</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I agree with tranzcrybe that it's important to reach out to a doctor or a mental health professional who can offer you the support and guidance you require. They will be able to evaluate your symptoms and provide appropriate assistance. Please book your GP ASAP, if you still haven't done so. While waiting for the appointment, you can ring BeyondBlue hotline (1300 22 4636 (24/7)), it's the easiest way to get immediate professional advice.</p><p> </p><p>If you're in immediate distress, you can also consider contacting Lifeline Australia: Call 13 11 14 (24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention).</p><p> </p><p>I addition, when you have time, have a look at following links, it will help with a better awareness of anxiety:<br><a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety</a><br><a href=\"https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/topics/anxiety/what-is-anxiety\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/topics/anxiety/what-is-anxiety</a></p><p> </p><p>Hope it helps a bit.<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "29-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/569012" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>It is a hard long journey for many people when they immagrate I know when my family immagrated here. I know how hard it was for my parents when dad had to work in a low paying job at first and then mum did day care during primary school. I truly appreciate my parents for all the hard work they went through to bring me up and make me the man I am. I know there are many questions when you come to Australia.</p><p> </p><p>Will I get enough support?</p><p> </p><p>Will my children have a good future?</p><p> </p><p>I am testimant to fact that if you work hard enough with discipline and hard work you can acheive the world you have to be willing to get up take what ever job you can and provide for your family. At heart Im a family man and I know there is a lot of fear when it comes to immigration but I want to shine a light and say it is possible to make a success of your life despite your adversity and difficulty. There are always good lovely Australian community that will be willing to lend a hand and support you. I know there are those people who will make it difficult but you must have faith that everything will work out .</p><p> </p><p>My parents took a chance in hope of a better life for us and I have my parents total appreciation and love. You mustn't take your parents and your family for granted. When you realise what hardship they went through you are grateful for them.</p><p> </p><p>There times as an immagrant you will say I won't make it?</p><p> </p><p>For me it was my self beleif in my self and true discipline that got me there. Australia is a wonderful bioling pot of cultures with many different cultures that make it a beautiful place to live and prosper. You must say I can make it if I work hard enough I can change my stars and I can give my children the education they deserve . This is why immagrants come to Australia for a better education for there children. </p><p> </p><p>My dad with say you are not watching TV you are going to do your homework and study so you don't have to struggle like I did. I want you to have a good life and a good job so you can look after me.</p><p> </p><p>It is a true battle as an immagrant but you can look at the positive I have my family . I have a challenge but I will work hard and make something of myself. </p><p> </p><p>I tell myself every day I am worth it and I am a good person and I am powerful beyond measure </p><p> </p><p>I beleive I can acheive anything I put my mind to</p><p> </p><p>Every immigrant parent has a dream for there family and pray and wish for a better future </p><p> </p><p>God made my heart full of faith that all may come right</p><p> </p><p>Mary Mcollop</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/immigration-to-australia/td-p/568999" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>I think spending time in nature and watching the animals and going to the local zoo and seeing my fav thr African elephant they are powerful wise and loved by all who see them they are a beautiful creature. I find being with animals or pets a powerful healing for me because they bring peace love and harmony to the universe that is the power of animals.</p><p> </p><p>what is a spirit animal?</p><p>A spirit animal is a animal that helps protect and giude people on there path it is mostly in indigonous culture known as totums. The animal will appear to you to guide and protect you on your journey they are powerful white magic. I love looking at different enviroments and the different animals and learning and understanding more about the animal world this facinates me and sparks my curiousity. Animals where given to us to create peace and harmony and protect humans.</p><p> </p><p>The most important thing is to show love and kindness to all animals wheather they be your dog or cat or if there the animal at the zoo. I think each animal deserves a home and love. We as a community must be grateful for our animals. There are many things we can learn from animals like how to be loving and kind to others. Animal are powerful guides in life and need to be given respect and gratitude for there guidance in our lives.</p><p> </p><p>  I would like to know what animal do you feel protects you and keeps you safe?</p><p> </p><p>My spirit animal is the white tiger which I always feel is a guideing powerful force for good in my life.</p><p> </p><p>I think going on safari and seeing the lions and the elephants would be great.</p><p> </p><p>What is your favourite animal to see in the zoo?</p><p> </p><p>I feel animals are the source of great healing and they walk beside us and guide us. You must treasure your animals and love them and spoil them and they will look after you all of your life. My dog is cute but very intelligant he knows when Im sad he knows wen Im not feeling right and he knows exactly what to do to comfort me and bring me peace even in the most difficult of times. Animals are that candle out of the darkness and into the light.</p><p> </p><p>Compassion</p><p> </p><p>I show love and compassion to all living things is powerful if you give compassion you will receive in different ways. I beleive our animals are the most powerful form of compassion and we must grateful to have them in our lives. In harry potter he has a patronous your spirit animal is like your patronous and it protects and keeps you safe.</p><p> </p><p>Animals are the great healers and we must love them everyday</p><p> </p><p>Don't forget give your animal a hug?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-power-of-the-natural-world/td-p/568703" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Elephant86~</p><p>You are certainly right that animals can have a great influence on our lives and bring comfort. I\"m not sure about having an animal as a spirit but I do have one that keeps me company.</p><p> </p><p>Sumo cat is large, brown with magnificent whiskers and very dignified. It's the normal cat-human relationship, he is boss, I am staff.</p><p> </p><p>Of an evening he sits on his special plush blanket by my left elbow and 'supervises' as I type. Supervision incidentally can be done wiht eyes closed and every appearance of snoozing. It is amazing how a cat doing absolutely nothing can have such an influence and create a feeling of warmth in an otherwise empty room and a house into a home.</p><p> </p><p>if you want to know how Sumo got his name read here</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here/m-p/265320/highlight/true#M23820\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here/m-p/265320/highlight...</a></p><p> </p><p>Thank you for your post</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-power-of-the-natural-world/td-p/568703" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Elephant86,</p><p> </p><p>Thanks a lot for your message. It was really interesting and inspiring. I couldn't agree more that spending time in nature and watching animals is so good for us.</p><p> </p><p>I have a slightly different way of enjoying the outdoors. I love to walk. When I'm walking, I often come up with new ideas, and it helps me feel less stressed. I sometimes see things in new ways, which is a nice surprise.</p><p> </p><p>The advanced version of walking - going for a hike in nature is really special to me. I also enjoy bird watching. If I have time on the weekends or holidays, I always bring my telescope. It's exciting to see different birds each time.</p><p> </p><p>We're really lucky to have so many good places to hike and watch birds around Melbourne. Being in nature helps me find inner peace and learn more about myself.</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "26-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-power-of-the-natural-world/td-p/568703" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47986", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>I have somehow hidden my social anxiety all of my life. I can appear quite comfortable socially when forced to interact with others, but I am secretly struggling. <br>I feel like normal life is becoming more difficult and I’ve reached the point where I  decline most invitations - including from close friends.<br><br></p><p>thanks</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-under-cover/td-p/568607" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi thwaites,  \n\n Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others. We’re really sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious. We think sharing here is a great step towards feeling better.   \n\n If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support.  \n\n We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. We understand you might have been through some of these in the past and it might feel like cold comfort right now, but they’re here in case they do pique your interest:  \n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety</a>  \n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/when-your-inner-critic-is-giving-you-a-tough-time\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Beyond Blue Article: When your inner critic is giving you a tough time</a>  \n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.  \n\n Kind regards,  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-under-cover/td-p/568607" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Thwaites,</p><p> </p><p>A very warm and caring welcome to our forums,</p><p> </p><p>I’m really sorry you’re struggling so much with your anxiety..I also have anxiety and found it very difficult to associate with people, just being around strangers is so hard, that I don’t go out unless it’s absolutely necessary…..In saying that since I’ve been on medication I am so much better able to manage my anxiety and to most times stop anxiety attacks from happening to much…I did have some counselling as well which also helped me to learn some coping strategies…</p><p> </p><p>I think when anxiety starts to have an impact on our daily lives, then it’s time to maybe reach out to your Dr. to get some professional help through the mental health care plan, that he/she can set up for you….Is reaching out to your Dr. something you might consider…</p><p> </p><p>Sophie has given you some great contact numbers if you feel overwhelmed at any time…also the treads Sophie mentioned are full of great suggestions from community members…who are or have struggled with anxiety….</p><p> </p><p>Here if you want to chat some more,</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts with my care Dear thwaites,</p><p>Grandy..</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-under-cover/td-p/568607" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi thwaites</p><p> </p><p>Wondering if you've been able to identify some of the triggers for your social anxiety. I think while some triggers can be obvious, some can be so far outside the square to the point where maybe they've never been considered. Once considered, it can become a matter of 'No wonder I struggle or stress so much. It all makes sense'.</p><p> </p><p>While I think of a couple of my <em>obvious</em> triggers for social anxiety such as a lack of confidence or social skills that involve being able to manage a <em>variety</em> of different social challenges, a handful of reasons that have revealed themselves lately (finally at the age of 52) include</p><ul><li>a sensitivity to sound in certain environments, triggering my nervous system</li><li>a heightened sensitivity to the nature of certain people (especially those who do not make life easy, enjoyable or relaxing in social situations)</li><li>not being able to hear people easily over a lot of background noise. While my hearing is fine, when there's a lot of noise going on, everyone else seems to be able to hear just fine except for me. It stresses me when I can't hear people clearly when they're having a conversation with me</li><li>I'm a natural introvert and quite happy to be one. As an introvert, I'm definitely tested in social situations, especially large ones such as funtions</li><li>I can't manage small talk all that well, therefor meeting new people can be a major challenge. You know all that kind of stuff like 'What have you been up to? What do you do for a living?' etc etc. Mind you, if I met someone for the first time who went straight for an opening conversation about elements of human nature or some form of philosophy, bamm, easy peasy, I'd be up for a great chat. I'm a quirky gal <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></li></ul><p>Is it possible you're facing a combination of stressors at certain times?</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "25-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-under-cover/td-p/568607" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>Thwaites,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for posting here, we're happy to hear from you. Social anxiety can appear in different forms and at different intensities, and it's good that you've been able to recognise that this is something you do struggle with.</p><p> </p><p>As others have asked, are there times where you notice that you feel it more than others? Is it when you're conversing with others, or sitting and listening? Is it before you go out, or during the time that you're out somewhere? This may also help you identify where your anxiety may be coming from.</p><p> </p><p>I'd also recommend, if you haven't already, discussing this with a GP, therapist, or psychologist. It may be useful to have some professional advice and insight into how you may be able to manage your social anxiety so that it doesn't impact you as much.</p><p> </p><p>Take care, and we'd love to hear more from you.</p><p> </p><p>SB</p></div>", "date": "25-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/social-anxiety-under-cover/td-p/568607" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47987", "content": "My anxiety seemingly appears from nowhere and presents right chronic nausea and abdomen pain. Started 2 years ago after a frightening food bolus which took a long time to get help for ad I live in the country. My nausea is so bad I often feel like I’m dying and it won’t stop until it wants to. I take nexium and gavascon to no avail it’s got a mind of its own. I’m taking a small anti psychotic drug which doesn’t help. All other meds I’ve tried make me even more ill. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do  I go to doctors and leave hopeful but nothing works.</div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Mary5256,  \n\n You’ve taken some incredibly important steps. It’s difficult when treatment doesn’t have any quick answers, and it can be a difficult journey. We encourage you to keep your prescribing doctor updated on what’s going on for you and seek a second opinion from a differing doctor if are looking for additional perspectives on your medication.  \n\n Kind regards,  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Mary5256,  \n\n You’ve taken some incredibly important steps. It’s difficult when treatment doesn’t have any quick answers, and it can be a difficult journey. We encourage you to keep your prescribing doctor updated on what’s going on for you and seek a second opinion from a differing doctor if are looking for additional perspectives on your medication.  \n\n Kind regards,  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Mary5256,  \n\n You’ve taken some incredibly important steps. It’s difficult when treatment doesn’t have any quick answers, and it can be a difficult journey. We encourage you to keep your prescribing doctor updated on what’s going on for you and seek a second opinion from a differing doctor if are looking for additional perspectives on your medication.  \n\n Kind regards,  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" }, { "author": "user-id/47987", "content": "<p>Thanks for your reply, I certainly have tried to get help I’ve been to lots therapy and even hypnotherapy the poor gp,s can only forward me on to psychiatrists which I wait months for. I feel very doomed as I actually could be having a beautiful life with great family and friends but everyday I wake up nauseas, headache and often a new pain somewhere. I’ve had enough tests to say it’s anxiety probably ptsd. Im truly over it </p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Mary</p><p> </p><p>That's a horrible thing to be facing and so dreadful, given the dread you must feel in <em>waiting</em> for it to suddenly flare up time and time again.</p><p> </p><p>Can't help but wonder whether your gut's never <em>fully</em> recovered since that initial issue. I imagine you may have seen a gastroenterologist. 'Gut microbiome' is an interesting topic, given it's relationship with both physical and mental health issues. The gut/brain axis can relate to depression, anxiety and more. If the home to all the microbes and stuff is out of balance, it can lead some of our other systems to be out of balance too. While I used to think all those adds for pro and pre biotics weren't worth taking any notice of, I realised the importance once I started to research the gut/brain axis. Do you think it might be worth doing a bit of research, so as to see whether you can relate to some of the information? There's a bit out there on the topic of how gut issues can <em>cause</em> or <em>trigger</em> anxiety.</p></div>", "date": "25-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nausea-and-abdomen-psin/td-p/568631" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi</p><p>I did something wrong, by being \"argumentative\". The lower lifts weren't working but the higher lifts were working &amp; I tried to say we could go down lift K. But Team Leader said we couldn't, I shouldn't have said it, but I did &amp; she had firm voice &amp; I had form voice.</p><p>I've got my period so am extra sensitive. Hate this, how it makes me sensitive &amp; I do wrong things. I use my initiative &amp; it's wrong. I am looking for another job, but it's going to be the same, it's hopeless, the same people are everywhere &amp; I can't quit my job, I need the money! Sorry beyond blue! I've used you twice after so long, I am on tablets, I thought I was done with these thoughts, </p><p>Am going to have cry to get it out</p><p>Thanks &amp; I'll get there &amp; I don't mind waiting for replies, there are others that need it.</p></div>", "date": "21-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Jacinta,</p><p> </p><p>Welcome back. I'm sorry to hear that you're still feeling upset and frustrated about the situation at work and your current emotional state. It's important to remember that everyone has moments when they make mistakes or feel overwhelmed, and it's okay to have those emotions.</p><p> </p><p>When you're feeling overwhelmed, it can be helpful to step away from the situation for a moment. Take deep breaths and try to relax your mind and body.</p><p> </p><p>Do you have someone you trust to talk to lately? A friend, family member, or a therapist. Sharing your thoughts and emotions can provide you with a different perspective and emotional support.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone makes mistakes, the positive side is that you have good self-awareness. Take some time to reflect on what happened at work. Consider whether there are any lessons to be learned from the experience. Reflection drives improvement.</p><p> </p><p>And I feel that you have too much negative thoughts in your head. Remember, your mistake can't define you as a person. Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects, remind yourself of your positive qualities and strengths.</p><p>If you're unhappy with your current job and believe it's contributing to your distress, it may be worth exploring other job opportunities. But don't rush on finding a similar job, take this chance to carefully think what type of job suits you best, makes you happier and less stressed. It's never too late to change profession. You can engage a career coach if needed.</p><p> </p><p>Last, if you're on medication and still experiencing persistent negative thoughts or emotional difficulties, it may be helpful to consult with your doctor or mental health professional. They can assess your current medication regimen and make any necessary adjustments to better support your well-being.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, it's crucial to be patient with yourself. Changing jobs or improving your emotional well-being takes time. I hope everything will be better, but anytime you need our suggestions, feel free to come back.</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/33966", "content": "<p>Hi JacintaMarie,</p><p>I remember having massive mood swings when I had my period. Goodness me, those hormones were difficult to control Have you spoken to your Dr about this as there may be some medication, hormonal treatments or even some mental strategies you could use to help take the edge off.</p><p> </p><p>I've been struggling with my work place so at the end of each day and even during the day I try to make note of the moments that have gone well and acknowledge them. Writing them down helps to make those moments feel more significant as well.</p><p> </p><p>I have been telling myself positive affirmations at work as well, that helps me feel better about myself. I'm also Googling how to accept/handle/decipher negative thoughts. Some of that is helping.</p><p> </p><p>This is a safe place to share how you are feeling. Hope you have something nice planned for the weekend.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>Don't ever apologise for reaching out for help. People here only want to help.</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks Mark, I am taking the time to find something else, though all the jobs aren't close to me.</p><p>Thanks for advice</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks, I do have a positive confirmations at work, I have them surrounded with me, I hate it when curse starts, but am acknowledging &amp; slowly getting better.</p><p>And also too, management is mainly unhappy when they have to wait for stuff. </p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks David, just think I'm wasting time, when others need it more.</p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/was-a-dickhead/td-p/568469" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>I was diagnosed with epilepsy at 11 and Bipolar 15 </p><p> </p><p>I made a concious chioce to face my difficulty and adversity by looking after my health and making healthy decision. I don't drink and don't smoke. Looking after your mental health is important and this is the way I have helped myself to recover from my ailing health condition. I cycle everyday and I do meditation everyday. I love to cook for the family especially at christmas. I love reading on different topics. I like treating myself to dinner once in a while. If you make the right healthy decisions you will definitly live long and prosper. I find listening to great music my fav is the temptation I guess Im old school. The most important people in my life are my parents I have learnt everything from them. My favourite show is Masterchef. </p><p> </p><p>As human beings we all have challengers but it is how we face adversity that proves our inner strength. You must beleive you are powerful beyond measure and beleive that you can defeat and rise from your situation. </p><p> </p><p>Fear</p><p>At times you will face fear and doubt in yourself. I faced it when I had my bipolar episode. I decided to look internally for strength using the mindfulness tequnique to to focus and realise there are things in life I can't control you mustn't worry you must only worry about what is in your control because if your worry it will make you more sick. This is the reason I have a holistic health and exercise program to support my recovery.</p><p> </p><p>Love</p><p> </p><p>I think surrounding yourself with a powerful network of family and friends who will climb the mountain with you is important. It is important that you are surrounded by love and always ask for guidance from those who love you. Always have a safety net to support you</p><p> </p><p>I reakon the best thing is to watch a movie and relax and laugh my favourites are polite comedians . Laughter is the best medicine and to share a movie night with family and friends. The most important thing is I say to my family and friends how much I appreciate them. I don't forget my dog cuddles every day of the week.</p><p> </p><p>You must have positive self talk and try not to be negative about your condition even though it is hard sometimes to put a positive spin on your situation. My personal experience with diabetes where I lost the weight and was taken of medication. The exercise everyday was very important to defeating my diabetes</p><p> </p><p>Every adversity, Every failureevery heart ache carries with it the seed of greater benifit</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "22-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-challengers-of-mental-health-and-how-i-overcame-it/td-p/568508" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Elephant86</p><p> </p><p>This is such an incredibly powerful post and you have my deepest gratitude. Such a long hard road to finding what works but when you find it, it definitely makes a difference.</p><p> </p><p>I love The Temptations. As a gal born in 1970, my mum raised us with a variety of music and Motown was amongst that. I have fond memories as a child of dancing 'round the loungeroom to The Platters (another favourite). My dad has always been a greater lover of classical music on the other hand. Either way, it's all music you can really <em>feel</em>. Getting a <em>feel</em> in life for what works and what doesn't is definitely one of the keys to managing mental health challenges. Finding <em>ways</em> to 'turn the volume up', whether it involves music or the <em>amount</em> of laughter and good people in our lives etc, is another key. This 'learn as you go' business in life is definitely a challenging one to manage at times.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your experience and your guidance for those looking for someone to help light the way ahead. You are brilliant in so many ways <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":sun_with_face:\">🌞</span></p></div>", "date": "22-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-challengers-of-mental-health-and-how-i-overcame-it/td-p/568508" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Elephant86, thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's so inspiring!</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "24-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-challengers-of-mental-health-and-how-i-overcame-it/td-p/568508" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/42768", "content": "<p>Hi Guys. Firstly thank you for taking the time to read this post. My name is Michael and 24 years of age from Melbourne, Victoria. Today i'd like to reach out to those in the community and ask for some guidance on what can I do with my life!!! </p>\n<p>For nearly 3 years now i've suffered from chronic anxiety and DEPERSONALISATION. This has made life incredibly difficult!!.I've lived what most would call a relatively normal life, e.g uni, work, friends etc... HOWEVER, the last two or three months have proven to be very tough. Whilst my anxiety remains constant, its these feelings of detachment and living in a dream like state that are associated with depersonalisation that are causing me the most grief. <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">For those who haven't experienced depersonalisation, its awful!!! It's like living in an alternate universe and watching your life as if it were a movie of sorts.</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Below is a list of steps that I am currently taking to aid me in my recovery:</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">I've arranged to have a meeting with a psychiatrist next Tuesday. The doctor himself came highly recommended by my GP.</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Yoga/Mindfulness Practice</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Running/Jogging/Walking Healthy Eating</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">I would love to know of any other therapies or exercises that those in the community would consider beneficial. Any feedback would be much appreciated. Please do not be shy!!!! At this stage in my life I am happy to take on any suggestions. </span></p></div>", "date": "08-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/45033", "content": "<p>I am yet to find out what works. It’s triggered by chronic anxiety for me and it’s like my brain goes into protective mode when I perceive a threat. I find distraction such as being around others helps me. If I’m alone I’m focused on how spaced out I feel and that’s makes me worse. </p></div>", "date": "12-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/45051", "content": "<p>Hi Michael, also my son's name. I have had to manage anxiety and depression for a number of decades. You sound as though you're on the right path with strategies to manage your particular mental situation. My experience is that a lot of practical guidance can be gained from a good psychologist. Mine focuses on mindfulness which is effective for me. \"The Happiness Trap\" by Dr. Russ Harris provides some great insights to mental illnesses and practical coping activities.  </p></div>", "date": "13-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>Hi I’ve had it for 10 years now I know this is a long shot but I’m just getting worse any tips how to stop it, it even stops me from sleeping and gives me health anxiety </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>Good morning </p><p>how are you</p><p> </p><p>I think mindfulness and meditation helps but I bought myself a stationary bike and cycle. Having an activity program. Cooking, reading, meditation, cycling and social outings with friends. I feel for you because I have bipolar. There is the author Ian gawler that writes mindfulness and meditation books that you can read and learn meditation. Always beleive there is always hope that everything will be okay. There is another book called the book of Joy by the dalia lama that talks about different concepts. It helped me come to terms with my bipolar disorder. You can jion a social or sporting club like soccer, tennis or cricket that are very good for your mental health. Never give up there is always hope and power inside you.</p><p> </p><p>Remember you are powerful beyond measure.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>I used to get this when I was young. I called it the vague feeling. I would just vague out and it felt like I was on autopilot. I eventually grew out of it.</p><p>I don't have any solutions, only suggestions. I've always thought it's due to lack of feedback, not from people because that is very confusing. More tactile things, like cutting a piece of wood, painting, hitting a ball. Some skill that allows your brain to be put to use. Probably silly suggestion but who knows.</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/42768", "content": "<p>Hi Guys. Firstly thank you for taking the time to read this post. My name is Michael and 24 years of age from Melbourne, Victoria. Today i'd like to reach out to those in the community and ask for some guidance on what can I do with my life!!! </p>\n<p>For nearly 3 years now i've suffered from chronic anxiety and DEPERSONALISATION. This has made life incredibly difficult!!.I've lived what most would call a relatively normal life, e.g uni, work, friends etc... HOWEVER, the last two or three months have proven to be very tough. Whilst my anxiety remains constant, its these feelings of detachment and living in a dream like state that are associated with depersonalisation that are causing me the most grief. <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">For those who haven't experienced depersonalisation, its awful!!! It's like living in an alternate universe and watching your life as if it were a movie of sorts.</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Below is a list of steps that I am currently taking to aid me in my recovery:</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">I've arranged to have a meeting with a psychiatrist next Tuesday. The doctor himself came highly recommended by my GP.</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Yoga/Mindfulness Practice</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Running/Jogging/Walking Healthy Eating</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">I would love to know of any other therapies or exercises that those in the community would consider beneficial. Any feedback would be much appreciated. Please do not be shy!!!! At this stage in my life I am happy to take on any suggestions. </span></p></div>", "date": "08-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/34976", "content": "<p>Hi Michael,</p>\n<p>I do depersonalise a bit as well. For me, I find walking barefoot around town helps. I like looking for those little grate things on the ground and stepping on them. Or the little dots that are meant for blind people at intersections. Just focussing on the texture of the ground literally helps me feel more grounded. It also doubles as a way to beat the fear of being weird because you inevitably get stares, but I suppose a little bit of exposure therapy is okay.</p>\n<p>Otherwise, seeing the psychiatrist will be good. It can be a bit scary and very uncomfortable at first, but I'd recommend you try to persist through the initial discomfort. It's also important to remember that not all psychiatrists will be a good fit, but it's still worthwhile giving each one a fair go before you decide to change, if they are not helping.</p>\n<p>Otherwise, welcome to the forums and it's wonderful to hear that you are so open for suggestions.</p>\n<p>James</p></div>", "date": "08-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/42768", "content": "Took my dog for a walk down the road earlier taking the same approach!!! Feet are a bit sore but otherwise very good suggestion</div>", "date": "08-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/38561", "content": "<p>Hi Michaelhc, </p>\n<p>I haven't experienced depersonalization before, it sounds very hard. When it happens do you feel very tired suddenly, I feel like it would drain all my energy.</p>\n<p>Since I haven't experienced it, I cannot say what has worked for me, I but I can with my anxiety as I have suffered with that for around 10 or so years. All the stuff you listed is awesome, you are doing so many rights things, One thing that always calms me down is music, I love it.. just putting some of my favourite tunes on and just hearing the words can help. I also like motivational videos, one's that talk about the reality of having a mental health issue but also coming out of it. </p>\n<p>I feel you have a lot to offer people on these forums so please stick around and join in conversations where you feel fit, I would love to get into mindfulness, there is another member on here who always talks about it and seems so at peace <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>My best for you, </p>\n<p>Jay</p></div>", "date": "08-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/20154", "content": "Hi there Michaelhc,\n<br>\n<br>\nI’d also like to welcome you to Beyond Blue.\n<br>\n<br>\nThank you for coming here and providing this post and your response … it’s a good topic.\n<br>\n<br>\nI guess we’ve all got different ways and means/methods that we need to work on daily to keep ourselves on track.\n<br>\n<br>\nAlong with having good GP, and also a couple of psyches (psychiatrist and psychologist) as well as taking prescribed meds.\n<br>\n<br>\nThen, I like your suggestions you provided, though I’m not so much into yoga or mindfulness practice; but hey, each to their own and what works for you, then that is awesome.\n<br>\n<br>\nI also like to keep as fit as I can, so I go to my gym 6 days a week; plus getting out and running/jogging and after that, walking.\n<br>\n<br>\nI can’t over emphasis fitness and trying to keep ourselves active and healthy; which then leads to good eating … and something that I think a lot of people take for granted … drinking plenty of water. I’ve read reports that depression feeds on many things, but one of them is dehydration.\n<br>\n<br>\nBut again, each to their own, and what works for me, might not work for the next person, so I really believe that each of us have got to trial and test lots of different things; things that we can do (and hopefully enjoy) to help us get through our days, and beyond.\n<br>\n<br>\nI feel like I’m waffling, so I’ll send this off and hope to hear back from you (and others).\n<br>\n<br>\nNeil</div>", "date": "09-02-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/20300", "content": "Hi michal I’m from melbourne and have been suffering from dp dr for around 8-10 years every day !!!!! And have just released now that I’m totally over it and want out I know there are ways out of this mental problem and we can beat it ! Let me know your updates on your condition and how you are dealing with it and if you have received any help !! ?</div>", "date": "19-04-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/3160", "content": "<p>Hey Bor123,</p>\n\n<p>I’ve been suffering from derealisation/depersonalisation for I would say probably 15 years or even more. From what I can remember it came on after I smoked heaps of drugs with my friends and then went to a blue light disco. I couldn’t remember getting home and just woke up feeling totally spaced out, like I was still stoned. I have felt this way all the time since then. My memory sucks because of it but that’s the thing I can remember it stemming from. My mum passed away when I was 17 so I’m sure it’s mixed in with that and an abusive relationship at around the time of the onset of my derealisation. I started meds not long after the death of my mum (from cancer). I would say I was on medication for around 12 years or maybe a little less. I decided I didn’t want to be on meds longer than I had been off them and also my libido was totally shot, so I decided to change to a different medication. I tried it for a few days but I was SO TIRED so I gave it up. I was off meds completely for about 4 months but was feeling super irritable and just SO ANGRY all the time so I thought I’d give medication a go again. I was on medication for close to 2 months and decided I didn’t want to be on meds anymore so stopped it abruptly as its marketed to not have any withdrawals. TOTAL LIE. I stopped it on Saturday, Sunday I couldn’t go to work as I had a panic attack on the way. Monday Tuesday we’re my days off so I managed with the extreme anxiety but by Tuesday night I couldn’t take it anymore and took it at about 1am because I couldn’t sleep and felt so so sick. It’s now Saturday and I’m slowly (very slowly) getting over those symptoms but it seems my derealisation is much much worse. How are you going with yours?? Sorry to blabber on with my life story but I’m at a loss <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":downcast_face_with_sweat:\">😓</span></p></div>", "date": "27-10-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/34976", "content": "<p>Hello missmd,</p>\n<p>Wow I'm sad to hear about your story so far. It sounds really really tough for you.</p>\n<p>Withdrawals are so bad, especially if you're already feeling just mentally terrible. It can really drain all energy out of you, and what I've had is quite similar to what you've described.</p>\n<p>Thankfully for me, I had a bunch of friends I could count on and who I would just message randomly through the day. Do you have anyone close who you can talk to? It doesn't fix the physical stuff, but I always found talking would at least help me get through the day.</p>\n<p>James</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/19353", "content": "<p>Hey Michaelhc,</p>\n<p>I honestly feel your pain... depersonalisation/derealisation is the absolute worst thing in the world! I would do anything to feel like I did before it came on. Mine stems from bad reactions to marijuana/other recreational drugs. I have actually had it in the past for a year and it went away, but recently had an episode that caused it to come back again, 10x worse than before bringing with it health anxiety, panic attacks and a lot of stress. How I eventually got through it the first time was just by distracting myself as much as possible until I just stopped thinking about it and it eventually faded... I know its much easier said than done but the more I dwell(ed) on it the worse it got. Also, reading about what depersonalisation actually is and how its the body's response to a threat makes you kind of appreciate it and see it in a more positive light... your body is always trying to protect you! It is a hard one to beat when it is constantly there, but I hope from reading this you can try and incorporate some of the things I did to beat it the first time! </p></div>", "date": "05-11-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" }, { "author": "user-id/44548", "content": "<p>Oh my god I feel you completely I did not know that was something other people felt. Thank you.</p></div>", "date": "30-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation-help/td-p/255008" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi, </p><p>How are you? Back again, been doing really well &amp; had an panic attack, did manage to fix myself, breathing in and out, in and out and had a better afternoon.</p><p> </p><p>I got triggered at work by someone at work's stress, it's their personality so they can't change &amp; its not right for me to be judgemental &amp; it's up to me to deal with it, but I failed &amp; I don't know how to deal with their adrenaline, they are a go go go person. The type of person who is always stressed out l.</p><p> </p><p>I need to learn how to switch off, as Mum says, I'm going to come across these people again &amp; again.</p><p> </p><p>The fault is mine! Not them.</p><p> </p><p>And I made mistakes too at work &amp; people will think I'm an idiot! </p><p> </p><p>Sorry, I've been doing really well</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks Geoff, that's what I need to do, to learn how to block them or switch off, music helps &amp; walking away when can. </p><p>And, as my Mum said, those people can't help it, it's part of their personality &amp; could be part of a bigger problem or a mental health issue. They have their own walk to walk. And I think too, where I work there are lots of internally unhappy people. </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Thanks <span>JacintaMarie, you can block these people but it doesn't mean they will stop any criticism, so it's how you learn that any comments, no matter what they say will just bounce back off you and not hurt you.</span></p><p><span>I really hope that another job will have more affable people, but in each job there always seems to one troublemaker who you will notice straight away, please try and stay away from this/these people as they try and encourage you to join their group.</span></p><p><span>Please stay in touch with us.</span></p><p><span>Geoff.</span></p><p><span>Life Member.</span></p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi, </p><p>How are you? Back again, been doing really well &amp; had an panic attack, did manage to fix myself, breathing in and out, in and out and had a better afternoon.</p><p> </p><p>I got triggered at work by someone at work's stress, it's their personality so they can't change &amp; its not right for me to be judgemental &amp; it's up to me to deal with it, but I failed &amp; I don't know how to deal with their adrenaline, they are a go go go person. The type of person who is always stressed out l.</p><p> </p><p>I need to learn how to switch off, as Mum says, I'm going to come across these people again &amp; again.</p><p> </p><p>The fault is mine! Not them.</p><p> </p><p>And I made mistakes too at work &amp; people will think I'm an idiot! </p><p> </p><p>Sorry, I've been doing really well</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>Sound like you handled the panic attack really well. It’s s perfectly normal to falter occasionally.  <br><br></p><p>as far as your coworker stressing out goes.  Try to take a big breath and buy out of it. It’s their problem. Let them deal with it. Sometimes easier said than done. <br> <br>everyone makes mistakes. I should have had a capital letter at the start of the last sentence but who cares. <br>Covering up mistakes can lead to more problems than making them in the first place. <br>I was an employer and I expected my employees to make mistakes. I’d hope they were small ones but they happen. It’s all good. It’s also how we fix the mistakes and getting help if needed before things get out of hand. <br>I read about a flight attendant on her first day at work who accidentally set off the escape shoot. It cost the airline thousands and they had to find another plane for the flight.  That’s what I call a mistake. <br><br></p><p>if you where the flight attendant I’m sorry for bringing it up. 🫣<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":beaming_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😁</span></p><p><br>You will find a way of dealing with these situations.  Each time you become desensitised a little bit.  <br><br></p><p>Good luck in the future. </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi Dean07</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for that, I wasn't the flight attendant, but poor person! That was bad! I haven't done that!</p><p> </p><p>And yes, it is their problem and it's easier said then done, I can't leave the office, yet. I'm going to come across the same people, where ever I go.</p><p> </p><p>Am having a cry, just to let it out, &amp; am feeling better.</p><p> </p><p>It's my lesson I guess, to not take on others stress. It's toxic to me but to them, it's who they are, they can't help it.</p><p> </p><p>And I am wanting to fix the mistake, not hide it.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks, have a good day</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/44836", "content": "<p>Hello</p><p> </p><p>It sounds as though you did a great job handling the panic attack. This is a really good thing.  We all have days that can be a little harder than others. Its perfectly ok to make mistakes, its how we move forward from them that matters.</p><p> </p><p>I too have a person in my office, who (my words!) flaps about and honestly, is a ball of stress and a heart attack waiting to happen. When i come across this person, i can feel my anxiety go into overdrive. Im not sure if you can, but i literally walk away from this person. I breathe, the same as you, shove my headphones on, and try to focus on my job, and do some self talk to re centre myself.</p><p> </p><p>You are doing great! And remember mistakes happen. We all make them</p><p> </p><p>Take care</p><p> </p><p>Jx</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>Sounds like you are trying to put thing into perspective. <br><br></p><p>Some times the situation you find yourself in is toxic and you should find a way of getting out. <br>My daughter’s first job was like this. She put up with it for a while but decided to leave as she couldn’t change anything.  <br><br></p><p>If you’re in a situation like this it’s a good thing to look for another job or a transfer. Life is too short to put up with a bad environment.  </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi JacintaMarie</p><p> </p><p>Sounds like you're making great progress in regard to <em>how</em> and <em>what</em> you feel while trying to manage other people's vibes as well.That's something to be so incredibly proud of, as it can take a heck of a lot of hard work and self understanding. You're becoming a master at managing your own energy and other people's too <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>Sounds like everyone's got a story about that one super high energy person at work. Up until taking this year off, I worked with a lady who was a high energy major stresser. One day it would be like working with the calmest and happiest person in the world, the next <em>her</em> stress levels could change <em>my</em> breathing. I could <em>feel</em> her stress and it challenged me. I could <em>feel</em> the speed of her thoughts. Don't get me wrong, she's one of the loveliest, kindest most thoughtful people I've ever met. While she prided herself on rarely ever taking leave, she <em>should</em> have been taking leave occasionally. In fairness, we were <em>always</em> short staffed with management refusing to put on the extra staff member we desperately needed. Don't always believe the faults you're working with are all <em>yours</em>. In the case I mention, a couple of the faults related to management mismanaging and this staff member not taking leave that would have come to help her. Keep in mind, as a feeler you can be working with someone who's also a real feeler and not necessarily recognise it. While <em>you</em> can be managing how to <em>not</em> feel so intensely, that other person may <em>not</em> be managing in such strategic ways. Also we could be working with someone with an ADHD nature perhaps, someone who's not managing the <em>hyperactive</em> aspect of that.</p><p> </p><p>It's a part of the human nature to make mistakes on occasion for a variety of reasons:</p><ul><li>We're under stress while trying to manage a lot at once</li><li>We're distracted by something or someone in the environment</li><li>Our mind can be on other things outside of work</li><li>If the job is a repetitive one, being on auto pilot means being semi conscious, as opposed to being fully conscious of everything we do. Another factor can involve thinking 2 steps ahead and simply forgetting the step in between</li></ul><p>and the list goes on.</p><p> </p><p>I think the ultimate challenge is to be kinder to our self as we come to know our self better. Personally, I've developed the mantra 'I'm so funny', which has come to replace 'I'm so stupid'. I've learned to laugh at myself when the opportunity arises, a challenging practice well worth developing. It's good for self esteem.</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello <span>JacintaMarie, this is not necessarily your fault, because you may be confronted with people like this later on, perhaps these people do have their own problem and all you need to learn is to be able to turn off from what these people are doing, that may not be easy, but the focus is on yourself and not them.</span></p><p><span>Everybody makes mistakes, some are able to hide it, while others tend to blame another person and never blame themselves, these are people you can never trust, and getting help to block these people can be done by talking with a counsellor.</span></p><p><span>Geoff.</span></p><p><span>Life Member.</span></p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks for that, I do that too, I try to walk away, actually I did that that day, because I just had to get away. </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks Dean, I'm trying to put things onto perspectives &amp; like my mum said, accept people for who they are, good or bad, that's who they are &amp; they are on their own journey or evolution (that's learning).I am looking for another job, but need to solve my issues before I move on or I'm just going to have same problems</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Thanks the rising, the high energy person is a lovely person when she's calm, &amp; I am a hard worker but when she's go go go. It makes me feel exhausted &amp; lazy.</p><p>I didn't think she might be adhd and will take that on, I think there might be some people at work that are obessive compulsive and not managing it very well, she has had sickness, dodgy tummy, etc, which could be due to stress, but as my Mum says, she's a big girl (she's 63) and it's not my problem.</p><p>We are short-staffed as well, but for some reason management don't want to get another staff member. I don't know why, I think maybe because of money but who knows, then they complain that they're over worked.</p><p>My work is okay, the work comes and goes &amp; I just do one thing at a time &amp; try not to get annoyed when a mistake happens</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi/td-p/567900" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47855", "content": "<p>any suggestions or advice welcome. </p><p><br>I consider myself a swimming duck.</p><p>Cool, calm and collected on the surface with legs struggling under the water where no one can see. I have a good job, a great bunch of friends and supportive partner but underneath I get anxious episodes and have impulse control issues. <br><br></p><p>While I don’t have depression I have anxious episodes which can last up to 2 weeks and can drive me to shop lift - I was once caught about 10 years ago and received a documented official warning from police (one of the worst days of my life).</p><p> </p><p>I spent many years free from the urge to shoplift but the Covid lockdowns re-triggered this behavior - 2 years ago. I have managed to keep my binge eating under control which is something I am proud of. </p><p> </p><p>When in an anxious spiral I am driven to shoplift and then reflect on my shoplifting - which turns into paranoia (or possibly a genuine fear) that the police are building a case against me. I am then driven to often return the items and either put them back or pay for them - seemingly without anyone knowing. Items can range from a drink at coles, to a diary or candle from a shopping centre. <br><br></p><p>I spend many nights sleepless thinking about how I have been given so many opportunities and am on the verge of destroying it all with my stealing impulse control. </p><p> </p><p>while I see a psychologist, appointments are so hard to get and not as frequent as I probably need during an anxious spiral. <br><br></p><p>Questions</p><p>does anyone know of any podcasts, audiobooks or resources that can specifically support impulse control? </p><p> </p><p>has anyone else successfully overcome something like this? <br><br>To end the paranoia is this something I should call the police about? Considering I have had a warning in the past this could result in serious consequences. <br><br></p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/shoplifting-and-impulse-control/td-p/567873" }, { "author": "user-id/47860", "content": "<p>Look this is a stretch… but there might be something you find useful on YouTube in an unrelated condition </p><p> </p><p>like ADHD or OCD </p><p> </p><p>So ADHD folk engage in risk taking behavior sometimes for a buzz and dopamine</p><p> </p><p>OCD is compulsions driven by anxiety and people do things to relieve the anxiety </p><p> </p><p>So if the brain is wanting to compulsively do something destructive and harmful to offset anxiety…</p><p> </p><p>take a step back… it’s about what that compulsive behavior is representing or doing for you. What is it doing for you?</p><p> </p><p>and can it be replaced with an activity and you keep redirecting to that activity every time</p><p> </p><p>Being worried you’re going to get caught and get into trouble isn’t paranoia - that’s rational and an intelligent thought </p><p> </p><p>it’s supposed to deter you from repeating behavior so if that isn’t enough</p><p> </p><p><br>take a step back - focus on what you feel or what is happening when you steal…</p><p> </p><p>also… anxiety spirals can be episodic or mood related… like actually be a condition </p><p> </p><p>or be a way you’re coping with stress (the shoplifting I mean)</p><p> </p><p>so to avoid the stress, and anxiety of shoplifting…. someone needs to help you figure out why you do it and help you with strategies </p><p> </p><p>Shoplifting could be a maladaptive self soothing or self regulating activity </p><p> </p><p>so it’s about replacing it with something healthier </p><p> </p><p>avoid shops when anxious if you need to… until you have a new way of de-stressing</p><p> </p><p>Self-stimulating with risk taking behavior is probably about dopamine and reward.. it’s a thrill</p><p> </p><p>Going for a run… or playing some kind of speed/time based game… and having a bucket of distractions… it might help</p><p> </p><p><br>self-reporting shop lifting? if it’s related to a condition, it’s more a situation to reach out to a health care provider for support vs police</p><p> </p><p>Police can’t do anything besides charge you for crimes - there’s nothing else they can do. It’s not like casinos who can ban you. They’re limited to what their jobs are. They can refer you on to a health care service.</p><p> </p><p>Always reach out when you have the urges to steal and sometimes that’s all you need.</p><p> </p><p>Recognise the patterns; avoid shops and seek extra peer support and talk about it like you have.</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/shoplifting-and-impulse-control/td-p/567873" }, { "author": "user-id/47855", "content": "<p>Thank you for your insights, this does make a lot of sense. <br><br></p><p>I think I’m in the OCD category - I don’t get a thrill as such, more of a relief/sense of control. <br>it could have returned during the Victorian lockdowns as I felt so out of control and the impulse has stuck again. I had a very loving childhood but we moved every 2 years for my dads job - so I think the desire for control may be linked to that feeling of no control. <br><br></p><p>I think I’ll avoid stores when I am in a spiral, I have also purchased the calm app and have been doing daily anxiety sessions. <br><br></p><p>I just want to be the best version of myself and really dream of a day I am back in control of myself. <br><br></p><p>thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts! </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/shoplifting-and-impulse-control/td-p/567873" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>Hi, I’ve suffered from multiple things that include depersonalisation and they can’t seem to pin point what. I wake up every day not feeling real and go to sleep that way too. I’m constantly battling my Brain into deciding what’s real and what’s not and if I’m truly alive. I get constant panic attacks and even when I learn to deal with it it starts again but more severe. I’m tired of constantly being. Scared and feeling like I’m dying and having fears over things I can’t control and especially getting scared over the future which I haven’t lived yet. Would be amazing if someone could help me get rid of it or cope I’m feeling like I’m on my last strings it’s getting more scary everyday. Also I’ve had this since I was in year 5 I’m currently out of school and 21 so I’ve had it for a while!</p></div>", "date": "11-01-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Raq, when people suffer from any type of depression they always ask questions, doubt their existence and wonder why they have been put into this position, but it always comes out with a negative answer, because if for some reason, it's a positive outcome, then they probably don't have depression.</p><p>Even if you believe you can deal with a situation, but something goes bad, then all you focus on is this negative situation and not the good, because that means very little to you.</p><p>It's really imposssible to work through any of this by yourself, because you just go around in circles, not achieving anything, so at 21 you can contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 as they help people from the age of 5 up to 25 year olds and can be done by phone or online with trained counsellors and the best part is they dress like you and me, no tie.</p><p>If it helps you can write down these thoughts and give them to a counsellor, they will analyse and then discuss these thoughts at your own pace.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "11-01-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you are going through a hard time, that must be difficult for you. Have you spoken to a mental health professional about these feelings of depersonalisation? This might be a good place to start.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you find some relief,</p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "11-01-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi raq</p><p> </p><p>I feel so much for you as you work so hard to live with what is so incredibly challenging. To have experienced this for so long is another factor when it comes to such an overwhelming challenge.</p><p> </p><p>I only ever experienced this perception a couple of times in my life and it was definitely scary in parts. The 1st lasted about 6 weeks, when I suddenly came out of a 15 year period of depression at the age of 35 and the 2nd lasted about half a day a few years back when I was 49. I can't imagine how tormenting years of this would be. You're incredible and I admire you deeply for the work you've put in that's led you to come this far.</p><p> </p><p>For myself, in both cases there was a trigger for what I can only think to label as 'a <em>serious</em> reality shift'. Am wondering whether you faced some kind of trigger yourself, obvious or not so obvious (trauma, an experience with a particular drug, some type of mind altering show or something else). For myself, the 6 week period was kind of intermittent. I'd be fine one day but the next felt completely unreal and it went on like this 'til I ended up in tears just wishing it would end. In the end, someone gave me a tip which involved grounding exercises. I suppose it's like...if your brain doesn't know what's real, you have to prove or dictate to your brain what's real <em>through</em> such exercises. Researching 'Grounding exercises for derealisation' could be one way to go. Seeking professional guidance is another. Perhaps a bit of both could be what works.</p><p> </p><p>Not everyone's cup of tea but I tend to follow a more mind/body/spirit way of life. In the spiritual community, there's another take on derealisation, in certain cases. 'Spiritual emergency' is a fascinating topic. It's a whole other way of looking at this level of derealisation. With this take it's about the mind <em>opening</em>. Nothing wrong with the mind opening but it has to also be closed on a regular basis. It can't stay open. We start life with a fully open mind which is gradually closed over time through certain belief systems and practices that ground us. At some point, for one reason or another, it can suddenly open again. Can feel like 'Floating in space with nothing to grab onto'.</p><p> </p><p>Hope all this has helped in some way.</p></div>", "date": "12-01-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>Sorry for late response I never get notifications, yes I have most of them make me think I’m crazy and don’t really understand me xx</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>Thank you for your help <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>Thank you for your help, I’ve lost a lot of people since birth and a lot has happened to me good and bad in my life and everything is basically a trigger for me I can’t even sleep at night still it’s been too long </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi raq</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you with you having faced so much loss and so much stress in your life. To be facing ongoing challenges just isn't fair. I wish there was something I could say that would offer you some form of relief.</p><p> </p><p>I think we don't necessarily realise the significance of a strong and grounding sense of identity until we lose that in some major way. Then it can become a matter of 'What's wrong with me?'. With you having had the rug pulled out from under you due to ongoing traumas and other factors, it's understandable how you would have lost a solid and grounding sense of <em>self</em> somewhere along the way.</p><p> </p><p>I can recall watching a fascinating documentary not too long ago called 'Crazywise'. It was about how western culture typically views mental health crisis, compared to other cultures around the world. In other cultures it's a matter of acknowledging a <em>variety</em> of possibilities for why people can suddenly change in such shocking ways. In western culture, there's a temptation to go straight for a diagnosis out of the DSM-V (a book of <em>disorders and standard treatments</em>). While this film acknowledges some conditions as natural, under the circumstance, it's responsible in stating that some cases relate specifically to a psychological disorder or disorder of the brain. For example...</p><p> </p><p>While derealisation or depersonalisation can be regarded as a legitimate disorder of the brain in some cases, successfully treated with medication and other therapies, in certain cultures a detachment from sense of self and reality is <em>induced</em>, under careful supervision and guidance. It's done in order to gain a completely different perspective of self and life. This is something that's only recently being practiced in western medicine, with trials for treating PTSD for example, with the help of certain mind altering drugs. In the case of these trials or in certain tribal cultures, the person is guided carefully <em>into</em>, <em>through</em> and <em>out</em> of such a 'trip' (in <em>sessions</em> that relate to self and life understanding, from a different perspective). In such cases, there is always a person present to take people <em>out</em> of that trip or journey of discovery. To remain living in such a state of detachment from self and reality would be unbearable.</p><p> </p><p>So, while we could go to a psychologist and beg them to take us <em>out</em> of the trip we're on for some reason, there may be no encouraging sense of guidance or relief from them when it comes to the way out. Again, just to be clear, what we're facing <em>could</em> be a psychological disorder or disorder of the brain that requires medication and other western practices. Just offering 2 very different perspectives.</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-feeling-real-and-panic-attacks/td-p/556633" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>I cant stop this terror inside me, i am constantly having anxiety attacks throughout the day and night and cannot relax at all. <br><br></p><p>if im able to function, its because ive taken L Trytophan powder with some soy milk but i still have lingering panic instilled in me.</p><p>i cannot function, i cant not stop crying and feeling extreme anxiety and upset. Its non stop.</p><p>i have GAD and depression and was finding things really hard this year due to my only friend and his schizophrenia and substance abuse and also having to drive my parents everywhere due to my dads car actually catching on fire in the driveway on our acerage. His car was not insured. I havent been well for years but last year and the year before was panic things that happened but resolved  but i kinda got burnt out.</p><p> </p><p>i have written on here before about things. I live on 5 acres of land which i love and i have my chickens, i live with my parents and our neighbours are so far away. Great views of the valley and a house facing north to catch the sun. All these values have been here in this family. Its been part of my identity, my home and ive lived here since 1997. <br>its semi- rural.</p><p> </p><p>ive been trying to cope this last year and since, always tied up in bed if i wasnt driving my parents or lending my car to my dad. I have my little pet dog with me everywhere i go in the car and i have loved feeding wild birds at home. But i havent socialised except for my friend with schizophrenia. Ive basically been a recluse all my life and im 40 years old female.</p><p> </p><p>ive been trying to get on my feet when my dad out of nowhere brought in a real estate agent into the house to value it ( we did a clean of the house) and then whilst the agent was here my dad said that we were going to sell this place soon, first i knew of that same with my mum. But dads like that, installing fear into me and grief literally.</p><p> </p><p>To make it worse, he told me that mum and i have to find a house for us all within 2 months because he wants to sell this place ( my cherished sanctuary) within 2 months so he can have money left over to play with essentially.</p><p>so our block of land is worth a bit, and he wants us to find a medium - cheap priced house so that he can invest the rest in silver to try and raise money for my sister so she can have a house because he had alot of money invested in some shares which has been in shutdown for a year due to court cases and corruption. That was his way of raising revenue to get my older sister who is a single mum and a bit of a narcissist i may add a house too, but i think dads tired of waiting.</p><p> </p><p>So hes instilled tremendous fear into me. I am in a nervous breakdown, i think i have agoraphobia and have for some time. I have never lived close to people like an urban thing. The move is from a rural place which is incredibly private into a house somewhere in the same tourist town but not rural.</p><p> </p><p>I have to give up my chickens and say goodbye within 2 months all of a sudden when i cant cope or function and have to have this looming fear over me. Just to even think about neighbours and fences next to me ive always detested and part of my identity has been where i live. Just even thinking about it breaks me down.</p><p> </p><p>Just to even look at realestate online i have to go thru anxiety attacks really bad and then put myself back together. I cannot function and feel incredibly the worst ive ever felt. Just sheer terror, my home is being ripped from under me at a time when ive been really ill and im supposed to look for a place within 2 months? I feel incredibly ill with my stomach and anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>i see a counselor but shes $$ and i cant see her regularly shes not on the medicare yet. But i have a gov scheme i maybe able to bump some free sessions wih another counselor.</p><p> </p><p>But how am i expected to cope with all this because i really need assurance and someone to help me tell me everything be ok etc. my parents don’t understand a bit, my mum is partly deaf and my dad might be on the spectrum slightly. Mum doesn’t understand why im like this. I don’t understand how they can just go about their day without breaking down because of the fear of this situation. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "08-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hello Speechless,</p><p> </p><p>This is a lot to digest and I can tell it's your frantic mind in action. Which isn't a problem, I hope by the time of reading this you feel a little more calm.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly, a move after living most of your life in a wide and secluded place is definitely a shock to the system, even someone without anxiety would experience a bit of worry. I promise you can handle it, and once everything's situated you'll be okay, great even. </p><p> </p><p>House shopping with your mother could be fun, I understand all the stress and the worries, but it's really just finding a new box to sleep in. Having an anxious reaction to looking at houses online is totally okay, since it's something you're worrying about, it's bound to happen. These are all normal and okay feelings to have.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry your family seems to not understand your dread, your father being on the spectrum potentially is troublesome too, as it's harder for him to understand your feelings. By all means, your parents love you and they're doing this for more comfortable living.</p><p> </p><p>I kinda struggle with agoraphobia too, being at a super market used to be too much for me, but bit by bit, I'm now able to walk around no problem, tho I sweat a lot assuming due to anxiety which is annoying, but not a panic attack. This transition will be tough on you at first, but with baby steps you'll adapt and be accepting of the differences. Change is definitely scary, but shouldn't always be seen as a bad thing.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not trying to undervalue your feelings, I've been panicked and I know how world ending it feels, but you'll get through it. It seems so big and impossible now, but as you get through the days, and do a little each one, by the time it's moving time you'll be ready for it. Try your best to pace yourself and take it as it comes.</p><p> </p><p>It'll be hard saying goodbye to all your animals, I'm sorry you'll have to do that, but they'll be okay. I'm sure wherever they end up they'll be taken care of, and that's the best you could want for them.</p><p> </p><p>For resources, I know Beyond Blue has a 24/7 line you could call, and aside from that you could try online therapies, a lot of them bulk bill which may help with your situation. Guided meditations could also help in a panic, there's apps or YouTube videos for that.</p><p> </p><p>Essentially what I'm saying in all this, is it seems scary and impossible now, but it'll get smaller and less frightening as the days go by, I know you can't stop yourself from worrying, but worrying is just gonna make you feel worse and not help the situation . There's something called \"magic worrying\" where you think the more you worry about something, the more you'll understand and be able to solve the issue, but this doesn't seem like an issue that needs solving, there's a clear path ahead of you.</p><p> </p><p>You'll be okay, I'm sure there's been other difficulties in life you've overcome and for the better. This is just another hurdle, and you can definitely make it over this one, like you have many times before. Hopefully these words reach you positively. Feel better <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Speechless,</p><p> </p><p>I really am so sorry you’re trying to deal with so much right now..</p><p> </p><p>I lived on 8 acres of land with a stunning views…we my husband and I moved their from the outer western suburbs of Sydney around 13 years ago….after he passed away and a failed small corner shop venture went wrong..I was forced to sell my home due to financial losses…</p><p> </p><p>I bought a smaller property in the neighbouring town…I do have neighbours back and sides but not in front of me…I have a grazing property in front of me…I still had a nice view which I cherish so much….My neighbours have chickens, her land isn’t that big, possibly a half an acre..My neighbour the other side has bushes and small trees surrounding her property…It’s possible for you to move and still take your beautiful chickens with you…<br><br></p><p>Moving closer to the bigger town which is 30 kilometres away that I do my shopping at, has some benefits for me…There were people around me, yes strangers, but those strangers became familiar faces to me…and my anxiety settled around them….then I started volunteering at a well know charity shop..which gets me out of my home, where before I did that, I stayed months inside my house..too afraid with my anxiety to even a step foot passed my front gate….</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Dear Speechless, you can find a smaller property, in a small town, so you can take your animals with you, and hopefully you’ll settle in enough to meet the people that will be living around you..and who knows? Maybe even form some nice friendships…or as impossible as it feels now, you might like to volunteer your services which is a wonderful way to meet some people as well…</p><p> </p><p>Change is hard Speechless, but can sometimes turn out to be beneficial to ourselves…If we give it a chance and lots of patience….I do wish you the best in your house hunting and do hope you find a nice place to live..</p><p> </p><p>We are all here  if you want to talk some more..to try to support you the best we can..</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts with my care, Dear Speechless,</p><p> </p><p>Grandy..</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>Thankyou Flop and thankyou Grandy.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>its just been a huge shock, and it keeps being one. For my dad to go from making a gazebo in the front yard where the view is to then going a few months later ‘ hey you and your mum have two months to find us a new place cause were moving out’</p>\n\n<p>How do you even process that?</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Ive lived here since i was 14 and im 40 now. My parents are in their early 70s so I understand, but the main reason is my dad wants to get a house for my older sister whos a single mum.</p>\n\n<p>He originally invested in an Australian company of lithium shares, a lot of money in it, but that company based in the Congo has seen some corruption with chinese doing deals under the table and claiming higher stakes in the company so they're been in court for forever and the shares have been locked in and unable to get out and thats been for a year or more. <br>\n<br>\nSo my dad is all of a sudden deciding to get out of this place as quickly as he can and then have $200,000 to use to try ans invest in silver or something else like that. But i think its being way too unreasonable for me and mum but esp me.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>how am i supposed to find a place in that time as well as go through what im going through? <br>\ni generally cant function, i keep breaking down. I have anxiety attacks over and over like the fear has swept me. I finally get up to have a shower and i fall to the floor and cry more. I literally am a walking wreck, my nerves will not calm down but i get a bit of reprive from medicine for anxiety. <br>\n </p>\n\n<p>The amount of pressure on me to find a place plus go through all of this feels horrific.</p>\n\n<p>i need a private biggish backyard for a garden and some chooks. I need privacy and have it feel open like im used to. It feels terrifying because ive only seen 1 place a bit okay but its in a street i grew up in and feels eery and needs alot of renovation.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>My parents dont seem to understand the fears and grief im in in finding a place and trying to find one so quickly.</p>\n\n<p>Everything is so boxed in and hard to find something for me. Theres limited listings.</p>\n\n<p>i cant eat or sleep and i wake up all sweaty with nightmares. <br>\n </p>\n\n<p>Before all of this id been unable to get by each day as i was burnt out from last few years and also dealing with driving my parents everywhere and trying to do my ebay listings which i couodnt seem to get to. I was bedriden then just trying to get energy and feeling like my dad was taking everything from me because ive had to drive him as well as mum everywhere. Ive always driven mum shes mainly deaf with choclea implant and doesnt drive. I was also dealing with my only friend who’s schizophrenic and has a substance abuse issue.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>im terrified of my dad because just has always decided on things and you have to do it. Theres no communication really. He just rough with emotions and i have to pick up the pieces.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Everything is giving me grief, to look outside to do my normal routines. Everything sparks me breaking down constantly and i need so much comfort. This is the worst ive ever been.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p><br>\nMy friend keeps coming over in the night to watch something with me to keep me company in my room to get my mind off it but its eating away at me.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>if i just had a place that was private had a good backyard or acre and room for me to garden, have my lifestyle still. One thing about living here is that we only have rain water and i couldnt really garden tho i tried for years, things ended up parched alot. <br>\n </p>\n\n<p>my parents know i want those things but they are looking to downsize from this 5.5 acres and i dont know how im going to cope missing here. Its a sweeping valley with views to the town.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>im afraid as we got a real estate agent how is wanting to show us some houses but they are all in a urban condensed setting and dhe doesn’t understand what my needs are. What happens i cant find something? What happens im so unhappy?</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>i get images in my head of being in a new place and not liking it, feeling really unease and boxed in. My identity and my sanctuary is being ripped out of me. All the values i thougt my dad had regarding this place have now suddenly shot out the window.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>its extremely hard and im still meant to be driving my parents. We live in a country tourist seaside town.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>Apologies for writing on. I just feel so crippled with anxiety and terror. Its very hard to function. Pit of my stomach in absolute terror and sadness that i cannot function.</p><p> </p><p>My parents dont understand. My mum says i need to stop this and then asks me if im worried about dad is that why im like this? She doesnt realise how terrorising this is for me. <br><br>We've lived in a house where it faces north and the sun comes in, its warm in the winter and cool in the summer.</p><p>This house has fresh air and rainwater and the view. And now those values are just put the window. <br><br></p><p>i cant eat and function.</p><p> </p><p>i am absolutely terrified of changes and living in an urban environment. I just cant cope with it. My parents know that i want a backyard and my chickens and garden but its not just that its the house and the backyard privacy, its coping with a street, its coping with neighbours, i just cannot cope living in an urban environment. Its not me and its so hard to find something i like but i have to think ive got two months i guess. </p><p> </p><p>For as long as i can remember, when ever ive gone out, ive been uncomfortable around the people in normal houses close to each other when i take my dog for a walk. I would think i could never live like that and be grateful where i live.</p><p> </p><p><br>Before all this, i was not coping anyways. I was just existing. I was burnt out and caring for my mum driving her places. Both my parents are able and younger than they seem, but both in early 70s. Just my mum has never driven and was born 30 percent hearing. So ive been the one to help her for things for as long as i can remember and then once my dads car caught fire, ive been driving them both to their things and then finally decided to let my dad use my car and give up on it my own independence. I was dealing with struggling to even function then because i was always exausted from depression and anxiety and loss of independence. <br><br></p><p>and now i get feelings of feeling violation from my dad to all of a sudden rip up my stability. I just cannot cope.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "10-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Speechless,</p><p> </p><p>I can relate to your fear of moving, it will be hard at first but overtime hopefully you’ll make new friends and settle down into your new place, I’m thinking maybe your father has a reason or reasons he wants to move from such a big property….too much for them to maintain now, because the property is fairly big…or maybe wanting to be closer to medical facilities and town for shopping…as they are getting elderly now…or maybe so they don’t feel they are so dependent on you so much….Has he given you a reason..if not can you ask him?…</p><p> </p><p>Maybe finding a home that has a backyard you would like for your animals a little cheaper in an area that you like, that maybe might need some renovations could be a way to go…No, I am sorry that 2 months isn’t a long time to find a new home…Has your fathers house sold as yet?   If it hasn’t then maybe your able to stretch that 2 months into another month….</p><p> </p><p>Sorry I’m not much help to you…</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As hard as this sounds and I can’t express myself the way I want to…this might sound blunt, but I don’t want it too….but it’s his house, and if he feels he no longer wants to live their..then he will sell it regardless of how your feeling..and I’m truely so sorry about that…Are you able to purchase the home from your father?…</p><p> </p><p>Here if you talk some more…</p><p> </p><p>Kind thoughts Dear Speechless..</p><p>Grandy.</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>Hello,</p><p>i think there are a few reasons why, maintaining the property, getting old, close to the town etc. But i think the main reason is financial. Since his shares have been in suspension which was alot of of money ($150,000 ) and in litigation and getting through with both parents living on half a pension and him having no car due to it catching fire and no insurance and my older sister always asking for money and my dad wanting to help her, he is seeing the only way out is to sell this place for alot of money and then use half that to buy a house in town and the other half to invest into something like silver to try and generate some more wealth and he sees that the timing and to be within two months because thats when the silver price hes read is supposed to be just before it jumps or something like thst.</p><p> </p><p>But its I think its really unreasonable to have to hurry and rush to all of a sudden look for a place to live like that within 2 months. I think its really unfair the way hes gone about it and myself have GAD and social phobia and potentially agoraphobia, it came as a HUGE shock because dad never even hinted at this at all. He went from making a gazebo in the front lawn where our view is which was great and i helped him and we were waiting for him to finally put a table in it so mum could sit out there to do her crafts. To then all of a sudden two weeks ago or less he just gets a valuer in and then tells that person in front of me and mum that hes going to sell pretty soon.</p><p>thats the first we heard of that, but my mum never knows whats going on because shes only got 30 percent hearing from birth.</p><p> </p><p>For me its been very very very very very tormenting. Its a huge shock that I could not take. My dad that next day, tells me and mum that we have to find a house within 2 months with a certain budget.</p><p> </p><p>You can see how disabling that couod be for anyone, weve been here for nearly 27 years or more. Its 5 acres of land with a sweeping few of the valley and tourist seaside town, 5 km from the town. Its very very private and quiet and within nature. We planted everything here all the big trees from stock. I have my chookyard and the farmers cows in the paddocks. Its always been my refuge, like when ever weve gone out rven just to take the dog for a walk near the town, i would think how i could never ever live next to people like that in normal boxed in housing. Always grateful to have my home and freedom and fresh air and space. <br><span><br>Such a huge shock to have my dad do this. To have to down scale mainly because he wants to try and get my sister a house. My sister being one that will go on holiday when she cant afford it or somehow find a way to get a brand new car and pay that off when she can barely afford that as a single mother - she lives in the city and its very important to her what others think. She can be a bit narcissistic. <br></span></p><p><span>ive had to come to terms with this change over this past week or so and its been excruciating. I get waves of shock and constant pain in my gut. I will feel like everything is foreign to me and i havent been able to eat at all really. Havent been able to cope at all. Ive had it really severe that i felt perhaps id need to go to hospital but ive been able to calm my nerves and depressed feelings using nooptropics which has been a life saver for me at this time. Ill go from in so much distress to then a wave of calm within 20 minutes. Still feeling the feels but numb.</span></p><p><span>This is the worst ive ever been. Trying to find a place with a big yard and a nice house is very hard and its such an adjustment. The timeframe of having to do this really hard. Like really hard for me. I see a counselor but shes quite $ but i might be able to get more sessions with a free service because i qualify.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>i just, the shock of all this has been so bad on my nerves and mental health and continuing to try and cope is hard.</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>I just feel in constant distress and its very hard to control it. Ive got nausea, a sore tired stomach, agitation, depression, severe anxiety, grief and shock. </p><p> </p><p>I dont really know how to cope atm. My mum just tells me off when i try to calmly tell her about how im feeling. she just pushes it to the side gets annoyed at me and tries to make me panic more telling me to clean up, box things etc. </p><p> </p><p>The feelings I get from a real estate money hungry lady come here and the wow she talks about this place my home thats going to be taken away. And theres nothing on the market and all this pressure. I just cant cope its like everyone has gotten rid of their values of this place all of a sudden and where we stand. There was no inkling of this and then its like got 2 months to move out. two months to find a place. Im trying to find stabiity but i cant and its agony. My mum getting rid of things behind me. </p><p>How am i able to get thu any of this when im this depressed and sick and anxious?</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/having-a-nervous-breakdown/td-p/567430" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi</p><p> </p><p>just a way of de escalating my anxiety to get it off my chest I had a panic attack yesterday some miscommunication @ work and my return to work plan majorly triggered my anxiety as the way I was approached/ contacted by my boss was quite stressful like why aren’t u at work we were expecting u sort of thing I have contacted my RTWC work safe case manager speaking to my GP tomorrow as I’m quite triggered by it such a simple thing this phone call but has totally re triggered my anxiety and some depressed thoughts my brain went to a bad thinking space just b4 and I had a shower / started cleaning to get my mind off those thinking things but in all honesty how do we cope with these triggers? Without  going backwards into that darn hole ? my sister says go back to GP get revised return to work plan due to the stress of the past few days but I feel I’ll go down a black hole if I let myself allow these things to control me as I’m trying to move forward these thoughts these advises things from my sister who’s trying to help and maybe not relise im sort of back in bad spot cause of this phone call from my boss accusing me of having wrong day off  I’m also big scared to revise plan incase it bites me in the bum also scared as it might make those dark holes even bigger such a conundrum over such tiny stupid thing trigger </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/bad-few-days-struggling-to-cope-deal-with-depressive-anxiety/td-p/567908" }, { "author": "user-id/47860", "content": "<p>Maybe it would help to bring things back to basic principles and just have a bit of rehearsed stuff ready to go?</p><p> </p><p>so your return to work plan has the days and hours - that is what they have to follow.</p><p> </p><p>they can’t make you work past that.</p><p> </p><p>Key to RTW plans is a manager who is competent. Is your RRTW coordinator from WorkCover, HR or have they paid some random person external to work with you?</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/bad-few-days-struggling-to-cope-deal-with-depressive-anxiety/td-p/567908" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I have no idea I think she’s internal well-being team I’ve never actually met or seen her face to face she’s quite an abrasive person and really hard to communicate with. I also have a manager &amp; occasionally senior manager to report how I’m going with things the manager is the one who’s making all the errors and not seem to understand what days I’m working even when it’s on paper my RTWC has said she’s meeting with them yesterday to stop this from ever happening again like the confusion and unawareness of my RTWP</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/bad-few-days-struggling-to-cope-deal-with-depressive-anxiety/td-p/567908" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi</p><p>I know what you mean, me too, I l'm on medication, &amp; I was triggered, I ended walking away &amp; did some deep breathing, it was someone's stress &amp; their a stress head, </p><p>You can do it, </p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/bad-few-days-struggling-to-cope-deal-with-depressive-anxiety/td-p/567908" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/40043", "content": "<p>Hi. I recently turned 50 and have undergone several routine medical tests and my anxiety awaiting results is through the roof. I had a mammogram for first time. My neighbour whom had breast cancer said to me ages ago she could not feel any lumps, so this is freaking me out a bit. I feel like they are going to ring me with bad news even though I have no reason. Im terrified of my phone and any calls. I have had restless nights sleeping last week, bad dreams. I panic about it about 20 times a day. I relax and then all of a sudden bang \"they could ring\". Silly me had booked in for 2 more health tests too, so everything is all at once. </p><p>I go for a walk and exercise, but its when Im resting the thoughts come back. I have spoken to my Dr and they just said distract. I have used CBT, this helps \"thanks brain\", but then the thoughts always come back.</p><p>I think am doing right thing getting tested, but I have three weeks to wait for the results and am a nervous wreck (though functioning) Can anyone reassure me doing right thing despite the enormous anxiety? I spoke to mammogram people and they said its pretty normal to be anxious and just get on with it</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-awaiting-medical-tests/td-p/567811" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>your way of thinking is normal. </p><p> </p><p><span>Finding distractions and engaging in activities like walking and exercise is a great way to manage anxiety. It's natural for the thoughts to come back, even after using techniques like CBT - many others have gone through similar feelings while waiting for results (like me) ...</span></p><p> </p><p>A few years ago,  I was referred to a specialist and this was to get my PSA base levels worked out. Will skip over the fact that my levels are higher than they should be but that is why we have a vase line. So while trying to establish the base line, I was told that if the next test was higher they would have to have  closer look. Between the time of the blood test and getting the results I was expecting the worst.  In the end it was all OK. </p><p> </p><p>What your Dr said to you has been said to me as well. They mean well enough, but I when you are the person in that position it is easier said that done. And if I understand you correctly and say \"thanks brain\" , then that is also a positive step/action. (I also had a similar strategy in place for accepting compliments. </p><p> </p><p>I wonder what you would say or what advice you would a friend who told you this story?</p><p> </p><p><span>I want you to know that you are OK and taking proactive steps towards your well-being and to give yourself credit for that. If you need additional support, don't hesitate to reach out or trusted individuals in your life or chat here, or ???. You're doing the right thing, and I'm sending you positive thoughts for good news and peace of mind.</span></p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-awaiting-medical-tests/td-p/567811" }, { "author": "user-id/40043", "content": "<p>Thankyou for your reply..</p><p>\"Thanks Brain\" is part of CBT and a way to let the thoughts flow over you. It works, but thoughts do creep back.</p><p>What would I tell a friend- \"Distract, and your doing the right thing\".</p><p>Its just hard living it, with the anxious thoughts. My Dr says its always better to find out. I think of this a lot. </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-awaiting-medical-tests/td-p/567811" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47840", "content": "<p>Lately sadness and anxiety has been seeping out of me. The slightest conversations regarding family and a loss in some kind of way (real life or fictional) seem to trigger me. A friend opened up to me recently about something personal and it triggered my unresolved childhood trauma and had my throat and chest tighten up and tears flooded out and sream down my face uncontrollably. Which made me feel so guilty, guilty that I couldn't hold myself together and just be there for my friend and feeling like an absolute narcissist and made the situation about me.</p><p>Today just my thoughts seem to have me in tears. Thoughts of worthlessness, feeling like people think I'm stupid when I try to articulate what I'm thinking, feeling like I'm not good enough and that maybe it would be better if I just vanished. It physically hurts. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I'm lonely and feel hopeless. </p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/chronic-sadness/td-p/567765" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi E92,</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds like you're going through a difficult time, and it's important to reach out for support.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest you to seek professional help. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional such as a therapist or counselor through your GP. They can provide guidance, support, and help you work through your unresolved childhood trauma. They can also assist you in developing coping strategies for your anxiety and sadness.</p><p> </p><p>Alternatively, consider joining a support group where you can connect with others who may have similar experiences or challenges. Sharing your feelings in a supportive environment can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide validation.</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, try to challenge negative thoughts. They can be overwhelming, but try to challenge them by questioning their validity. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and remind yourself of your worth and capabilities. Consider keeping a journal to write down your thoughts and feelings as a way to gain perspective. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same empathy and understanding you would offer to a friend. Remember that it's okay to have emotions and to need support.</p><p> </p><p>Moreover, don't forget to take care of your physical health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature.</p><p> </p><p>Hope everything will be better.<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/chronic-sadness/td-p/567765" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello <span>E92, you have to appreciate that when we are silently struggling with depression of any type, it's possible that we could be triggered by what someone else says to us, either when we are with them, or eventually when we are not with them. </span></p><p><span>At times we just can't pretend that what has been said is a trigger to us, our emotions are too strong and then dominate our reaction.</span></p><p><span>It could easily bring back old memories we have been trying to hide, but all of a sudden, it's hit a nerve and then it continues.</span></p><p><span>Don't feel lonely because there are many of us who have been in the same position as you and know what it all means, and you won't be able to overcome any of this until all these past grievances are spoken about with a counsellor, then eventually you can become much stronger, and if they are spoken about, you are able to push them aside, but it takes hard work to understand why this needs to be done, so as to protect yourself.</span></p><p><span>I am really sorry for you, but never think it's something you can avoid, until you reach this part in your life.</span></p><p><span>Geoff.</span></p><p><span>Life Member.</span></p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/chronic-sadness/td-p/567765" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi E92</p><p> </p><p>You sound like such a beautiful deeply feeling person. My heart goes out to you as you work through such challenging emotions and thoughts while trying to make better sense of them all.</p><p> </p><p>I think there can be such a variety of factors that can lead us to begin feeling more deeply than ever before. So, it's kinda like if we've always had the ability to <em>basically</em> feel, something's come along to really turn the volume up. My mum actually said to me just the other week 'What's happened to you? You used to be like stone. Now you cry at the drop of a hat'. It's taken me almost 53 years to finally reach the point of being able to feel so deeply. Yes, an ability that definitely feels more like a curse at times.</p><p> </p><p>When you can <em>feel</em> your thoughts, your memories, what runs through your imagination it can be challenging. When you <em>feel</em> other people's overwhelming pain, it can be incredibly hard to separate your own sense of pain from theirs. When you can <em>feel</em> the intention behind other people's words and their intention and judgement is depressing, it can be hard <em>not</em> to feel that. When you can <em>feel</em> the speed at which you process every stressful challenge in your life, all at once, it can become literally breathtaking (and not in a good way). There is just so much in life to be felt. </p><p> </p><p>To be <em>choked</em> up in relation to overwhelming feelings of <em>heartache</em> definitely has a feel to it. I recall when I first began researching so much on emotion and the ability to feel so many <em>forms</em>. Give each form a name and it tends to relate to a lot of the old sayings: To be 'choked up' over something (with a scream or a cry lodged in our throat fighting to get out), the feeling of 'heartache' or 'heart break' which sits in the chest as a result of a soulful wound of some nature, to feel like you have 'the weight of the world on your shoulders' (the incredible tension in neck and shoulders while living under the <em>pressure</em> of so much stress). The list goes on. While all feelings/symptoms can be explained through science/medicine, those old sayings remain simple and naturally telling in so many ways.</p><p> </p><p>Please don't think badly of yourself for feeling that trigger so deeply, when your friend was speaking to you. It's in no way your fault you could feel it, that which surfaced so painfully in that moment. Your pain is obviously deep. If there is one thing I've learnt over time, it's that emotions are telling and should be respected in many cases and they should be questioned constructively, not <em>de</em>structively. If someone is to question 'Why are you so sensitive?', I've found the best answer to that is 'I feel or sense deeply and easily which is my <em>ability, </em>not my <em>fault</em>'. Btw, I'm still trying to work out how to master such an ability. So much self understanding and skills to be developed when new and valid feelings come to life.</p><p> </p><p><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/chronic-sadness/td-p/567765" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>How do you bring each of these elements into your life?</p><p> </p><ul><li>take notice</li><li>give</li><li>keep learning</li><li>be active</li><li>connect</li></ul><p>Blessed Be</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/elements-of-life/td-p/567824" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<ul><li>every journey is different</li><li>one thing at a time</li><li>celebrate small wins</li><li>honour your feelings</li><li>make someone smile</li></ul><p>I hope these thoughts help<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span></p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/thoughtful-tuesday/td-p/567823" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47806", "content": "<p>Hi</p><p>I'm kind of feeling over whelmed and not sleeping, just wondering if anyone has good tips for this feeling</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-is-anybody-experiencing-anxiety-and-over-whelming-thoughts/td-p/567617" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello BellaBel, to start with, I'm so sorry this is happening to you, so can I ask has your doctor/psych been able to diagnose you, and also are you comfortable in telling us a little more, this would help us to give you advice, so please can you get back to us.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-is-anybody-experiencing-anxiety-and-over-whelming-thoughts/td-p/567617" }, { "author": "user-id/47806", "content": "<p>Hi Geoff,</p><p>I cannot seem to manage my anxiety on a weekly basis in the work place, commuting, driving and being around lots of people.  I cannot afford to pay for a therapist ATM.  I am seeing my GP next week to try and obtain a care plan, I feel exhausted and over whelmed</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-is-anybody-experiencing-anxiety-and-over-whelming-thoughts/td-p/567617" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello <span>BellaBel, if your anxiety is so dominating, then driving to work can not only be exhausting, but also very tearful and when you arrive at, all it would take is something very small to make you breakdown.</span></p><p><span>Can you ask your doctor for some time off work, because it seems as though you aren't well and what may have taken you ten minutes to do something, now it takes you all day.</span></p><p><span>Geoff.</span></p><p><span>Life Member.</span></p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-is-anybody-experiencing-anxiety-and-over-whelming-thoughts/td-p/567617" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>I would have hoped there was some form of medication for Anxiety these days, nothing addictive is better than fine. So no help there, but another gap to pay. I then called my old GP's office back to receive yet another phone consultation gap, while attempting to obtain the correct 3 month Centrelink Certificate for Jobseeker that they have asked me for. So, another GP (as mine is on leave remember) and was of course not able to receive this yet again, because apparently, you can't get a Centrelink Certificate on a phone consultation, even though you've been diagnosed with this 17 years ago, have had it for over 45 years and all the documentation of my file is right in front of the GP speaking to you. Well, that's news to me. So, after all of this, I have a lot of money taken out of my rent, with still no certificate. I actually have no idea why they even placed me with DES, when they have provided no assistance as I was told they'd be able to. There is absolutely no difference in being with them, compared to being with a \"normal\" job provider. I thought perhaps they had psychiatrists/psychologists to assist with your mental health so you can go back to work, but no. So, I guess DES is only there for physical disability. I don't know. This provider basically read me the riot act on the 2nd appointment because I was not able to get myself as together as he wanted me to be to take on work immediately. I really wish I had a magic wand to change my brain's activity but I don't. So, all I am doing is going around  in circles: no money for specialists or GPs, but I will be forced into something that I will not be able to do reliably enough until I am well, to which my payment will be cut. The system is a farce. Thank you for listening to my lengthy rant</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hello-everyone-part-2/td-p/568619" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>There used to be, but govt bureaucrats in their infinite wisdom banned it in. They classified it as an addictive substance and therefore people who struggle with anxiety and panic attacks have no medical help. I can't mention the name because it breaches guidelines on this forum,.  You can get more help as a heroine addict these days. Sad but true. It's a tragic state of affairs.</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hello-everyone-part-2/td-p/568619" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>Things are supposed to be getting better for those suffering from Mental Health issues, but I have trouble believing this. Even trying to get some help or any documentation regarding your conditions is still a maze of red tape and too much for already mentally worn out people to handle. I suffer from Major Depression, Social Phobia, OCD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, Hodophobia just to name a few. Life is hell on my best day. Nobody understands unless theyre going through the same thing. It's like being in a prison you can never escape from. You think you're as intelligent as the next person, so why can you not get past this? Some days I just stay in bed altogether and some days I struggle just to do the most basic thing that others take for granted. Then I have to pat myself on the back repeatedly so that I can do another minor task. My brain is exhausting. Some people think you're just lazy. Would anyone really want to be this way if they had a choice? If I stay inside for a few days, I can't even get them mail because I have to check if anyone's outside first. I can't go to the shops anymore because of the Social Phobia. I have not been out anywhere in like, forever (decades), and I continually cancel appointments because I just can't do it. I find myself having short term memory issues frequently and I often wonder what I'm doing or what I was about to do. I've been called 'thin skinned' and plenty of other things due to not coping as well as others in normal situations. I procrastinate enormously. Two thirds of my hair has fallen out in the last few years, just something else to worry about. I always worry about what others think. Just like someone else on here I read a post from, no one likes  me, no family either and I am all alone. I don't like people, and I can't tolerate them for very long, I just want to run (unfortunately people think I'm arrogant because of this). But I'm also lonely and wish there was a group where I could meet others who understood. You don't want to be constantly moaning or be negative all the time. And I HATE being the centre of attention with a passion. I just want to merge right into the back of the group and hope noone sees I'm there. People have told me I'm \"weird\". And I don't even know why. I try to always be a good person, but sometimes I think to myself that even serial killers have friends and family, so I must just be really really bad.</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/568048" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hello Fairmaiden,</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles and in part I've been through some myself.</p><p> </p><p>Around the begining of last year, I couldn't step in a store without feeling like I was going to have a panic attack, I couldn't stand in a line with out feeling like I need to run out of the store. It'd just come over me and feel all consuming.</p><p> </p><p>It was a very gradual process for me, I'm now able to do those things and be completely fine. I'm not cured by any stretch, but little by little I've gotten, and am getting better.</p><p> </p><p>For starters, maybe try and work yourself up to spending some time out in your backyard, gotta start somewhere, and bit by bit up the stakes. This is pretty much what I did and am still in the process of doing.</p><p> </p><p>Each time you avoid a situation, you get immediate relief, followed by a little guilt as you feel like you should be able to just do these things. What that's doing in the background however is reinforcing in your brain that these appointments, these people and the entire outside world is to be avoided to minimize distress, and it'll be even harder the next time. It's your brain trying to protect you, but it doesn't understand what's innately safe and what's a threat. Something to note is a panic attack is awful of course, but it can't kill you, it's no threat whatsoever, you won't pass out either due to all the adrenaline. If you're able to sit through one, that tells your brain they're not to be feared.</p><p> </p><p>It may take a lot of willpower, but perhaps organize a phone consultation with a GP to discuss how you feel. Even if you are extremely anxious, they'll understand and won't judge you at all. Looking into mental health resources online could also be beneficial, a lot of overcoming anxiety in particular is through education; knowing what your brain is actually doing. You could also look into online therapy, which again being extremely anxious here would be okay too. A lot of them bulk bill too.</p><p> </p><p>For calming, look at breathing exercises if you haven't already, guided meditations or anxiety educational videos. When I first starting tackling my anxiety a channel on YouTube called \"therapy in a nutshell\" helped me a lot.</p><p> </p><p>It'll take a lot of courage, but if you make a start I think you'll be amazed what you can do. I pray this has sparked a glimmer of hope or has been helpful. You don't have to make huge leaps for progress, smiling at a stranger or even saying hi to someone is a start. I believe in you.</p><p> </p><p>You got this <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/568048" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Fairmaiden64</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you given all the overwhelming challenges you face, including the challenge of people in your life not wondering enough when it comes to how you feel and why you experience life in the ways you do.</p><p> </p><p>I think it's so important to have people in our life who do no judge but wonder instead, when it comes to how and why we experience life in certain ways. Sometimes I think of how the world lacks a lot of wonderful people, the kinds of people who'd simply sit with those who suffer so much and help them brainstorm all the possible reasons in relation to <em>why</em> they suffer. It just doesn't seem right that we should have to <em>pay</em> people (mental health professionals) to wonder with us in the way of finding mind altering life changing revelations.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes I've wondered about certain traits of human nature in their extreme. I've wondered about how some abilities, in their extreme, can feel more like curses</p><ul><li>When the ability to channel certain parts of our self such as the adventurer, the analyst, the carer, the dictator (who dictates the best direction or action) etc are at their best, life is brilliant. All these facets of us can bring us a sense of flow, joy and achievement. When the dictator (at its worst), dictates everything we <em>must</em> do, life can become hell. 'If you don't wash your hands 15 times within in 4 minutes, you will have problems. Wash your hands. Now wash them again and again and again...'</li><li>The ability to witness our body at work can lead us to <em>feel</em> the amazing activity inside us, such as when we put our finger on our pulse so as to connect with our heart beat and the blood pulsing through our veins. This can can feel more like a curse for some when they can feel every twitch, every glitch and every moment of hyperactivity in their nervous system. To <em>feel</em> our nervous system comes with challenges that may demand strategic management</li><li>The ability to alter our state of consciousness can allow us to experience great compassion, such as with becoming more conscious of someone else's heartbreak (which can lead us to tears and greater love for them). When we become stuck being conscious of everything that's depressing, we can remain that way until something or someone leads us into a different state, through medical, psychological or soulful intervention</li><li>The ability to recognise <em>home</em> as one of the safest places we can be is an ability most people have. Seeing it as the <em>only</em> safe place for managing our fears, our nervous system, the judgement of others and more comes with incredible challenges not everyone understands. When the goal is to live a fearless life because that's the only way of managing exhaustion, it can make sense to us that there is no fear in staying somewhere that is safe</li></ul><p>Managing certain abilities in their extreme can be such overwhelming hard work and work that can be so incredibly hard to achieve on our own at times, especially without relatable strategies.</p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/568048" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>It never ceases to amaze me how cold Centrelink and job providers can be. It doesn't seem that mental health issues matter at all to the Government (and it doesn't matter which side is in, neither care about those less fortunate). And to make matters worse, they make it as \"simple\" as \"just going to your G.P to obtain a Centrelink Certificate\". There is no money for food, petrol, electricity, nor the remainder of my rent after my payment, but I am just supposed to conjure up money for GP gaps, followed by somehow finding money for psychiatrists/psychologists' gaps once a GP is met with, due to needing a \"mental health plan\" for medication. I admit I sound as though I am ranting and raving. And I'm sure there'll be people that don't suffer from my mental health issues who will think I'm some sort of 'bludger', but I am absolutely not. I WANT TO WORK AGAIN ASAP. Even with my full body of arthritis and needing 2 knee replacements, diverticulitis, IBS etc etc......I would LOVE to be independently working if my mental health would allow, but on any given day I can have extreme to major depression and anxiety issues, no matter what activities I take on to work with my mental health. Getting out of bed is one of the biggest issues, as my anxiety is so over the top as I am waking, that I am sometimes stopped there in my tracks all day. I cannot even get my mail due to feeling everybody is looking at me sometimes. Despite all of this, I have tried to get this 3 month medical certificate Centrelink want, by not paying my rent this fortnight due to the gaps payments. I firstly went to Emergency for help with this, due to not a cent for this. No help from them. So I called my old GP, who is 45 minutes away for help with the certificate. But he is on leave. So, another doctor from the practice did a phone consultation but could only supply a short note titled \"medical certificate\", with my diagnosis on it. I then went up the street to a GP in my area and had to pay a second gap to see a doctor there. Unfortunately, she was not able to help and stated that I needed to get my other GP to put all of my medical history on a disc and that she may be able to help then, but as for any medication for treatment of my multiple anxiety disorders to assist me, she may not be able to help me as she had to be careful of how much addictive medication she could give patients and she might be at her limit. Honestly, I did not ask for any addictive medication</p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/568048" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Fairmaiden64</p><p> </p><p>Definitely a lot of broken or dysfunctional systems out there, not entirely serving the people who need them the most. My theory is...if you want to know <em>exactly</em> where the systems are broken, ask the people who are suffering through them. If necessity is the mother of invention, whoever works out how to have all the systems coinciding so as to create some sense of flow and simplicity will make a fortune off that invention. Until then, so much remains disjointed and challenging.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing wrong with ranting and raving, aka having a good solid vent over what feels just too intolerable to keep inside. I truly wish the government would get it together when it comes to certain aspects of well being. While worsening stress levels (for example) can increase an inflammatory response, you could say the government provides incredible pain based on the way they don't provide a sense of ease through certain systems <em>and</em> in the way they don't subsidise certain natural stress management therapies that can offer some relief from inflammation. There's just so much that remains questionable. </p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/568048" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>I was diagnosed 17 years ago with Major Depression and Generalised Anxiety disorder. But I can remember feeling this way over 40 years ago. I am on anti depressants which appear to work for the depression side of things but all of the different anxiety disorders are off the wall. I awake filled with terror every morning, some days unable to get out of bed at all. It is difficult to explain to anyone. Every second of life is just terrifying for me. I don't know why. Nothing has just happened. I just know it will. I don't cope well with any difficult situation arising. I always have a \"doomed\" feeling. I try not to be negative, but I've always been a worrier, even as a little girl. I have experienced that those things \"unlikely\" to happen, always do in my life and so my brain needs to always prepare for the very worst scenario. I have OCD to the extreme. It sometimes takes me days to clean a room because it needs to be as close to perfect as possible. I have in fact, had a nervous breakdown over this not happening several times. Sometimes, I just let things go in a way that others don't. Because I can't do things \"by halves\". I wish so much I could just look at that cleaning job and 'let it go' saying 'that's enough'. Because of this pressure on myself, I procrastinate immensely. This makes me seem lazy. But I just want to be a good person. I come from a very abusive and critical background, where I was always told that \"near enough is NOT good enough\". I was relieved when I finally left home, although I was 19, I still call it \"running away\", not \"moving out\". I was told that if I left I was never to come back, even though it was required for my job. Despite leaving this behind me, my life has been littered with DV situations. I left the last one 6 and a half years ago and made the decision to live alone, without a relationship for the first time in life. I like living alone, I am not a social person and don't understand how to be, and in most things relating to behaviour, I don't understand \"where the line is\". I did try to obtain help with medication for my anxiety issues but the G.P said I was on the highest possible amount he could give me, of this anti depressant. I was given something extra, but it was only to be used if absolutely necessary due to being addictive. So its been useless to me, because I need a regular medication. I have had to go onto Centrelink which does not even cover my rent, but I do want to go back to work asap. Unfortunately, you're now thrown in with job providers. I've just started out with one for disability (DES) and he treated me in an outrageous fashion. My eyes were swollen shut when I left there. The expectation that I be fully functional for a job right now is an impossiblity when I struggle to get to the shower. There is no money for the doctor, or a psychiatrist or psychologist, or anyone who can help with medication for the terrorising, debilitating anxiety I feel 24/7. Let alone for medical certificates that they want. I even went to emergency at the local hospital for a medical certificate for them for the 3 months they are asking for, but they said they couldn't give me one, after waiting for hours and hours with many many people pushing my social phobia over the top. I came home and vomited.</p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unreadable-title/td-p/568343" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Fairmaiden64,  \n\n Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. We hope you find some comfort in sharing here, and in hearing from the lovely community members, many of whom will be able to relate to what you’ve been through.   \n\n If you ever want to talk this through with one of the Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or reach out through <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Online Chat here</a>.   \n\n Thank you for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.   \n\n Kind regards,   \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unreadable-title/td-p/568343" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. <br>Wow, you have been through a lot.  Childhood trauma can leave long lasting effects. <br>I have been diagnosed with GAD and I have to say it’s not much fun. At times I seem to go from one worry to another. I’ve tried medication, CBT along with reading books on the subject. They all help to some degree. I’m off medication now and rely on therapy and reading. <br>I attended a Trauma and Anxiety Clinic. The therapist used Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which I found helpful.  It works by accepting the thoughts and making room for them in your mind rather than trying to stop them. Over a very short time my worries became less frequent because I spent less time thinking about them. I attached less emotional energy to each worry than I normally would so my brain less attention to them. <br><br></p><p>Hope you start to feel less anxious. </p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unreadable-title/td-p/568343" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>For day to day chores, near enough IS usually good enough. I'm a perfectionist. I've always loved working with numbers. They're very precise and exact. But for day to day things that mentality doesn't work well. Perfectionism is really the fear of failure. We're worried about what others may think. The reality is that most people don't care. I make wooden kids furniture and sometimes I obsess about the finish. But in the end, it's just for kids. It's not fine furniture. Kids wouldn't notice if there are a few runs or blotches and the parents don't care. It's all about perspective. It takes time to let go though of high standards, especially if you've grown up with them</p></div>", "date": "21-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unreadable-title/td-p/568343" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Fairmaiden64</p><p> </p><p>I give you so much credit for being such an amazing person in all the ways you've raised yourself through challenge, beginning at such a young age. You really are an incredible person. My heart goes out to you as you continue to face overwhelming challenges that impact your life so deeply. I can imagine you feel just so incredibly exhausted, given all the stress and a lack of people making things easier.</p><p> </p><p>I recall last year when I was experiencing anxiety for the 1st time in my life at the age of 52. While I'm a gal who's managed the ins and outs of depression since my late teens, anxiety appeared to come from out of the blue and I just couldn't figure out why. It was my daughter who mentioned <em>the 3rd stage</em> of General Adaptation Syndrome, as being the result of uninterrupted stress: Fatigue, burnout, depression, anxiety and decreased tolerance to stress. I ticked every box and when looking over the lead up to how I felt, it made complete sense. While I'd always been able to tolerate stressful challenges, the challenges I'd been trying to manage were far more complex than what I was used to. I'd basically reached a point of hypervigilance, waiting for the next stressor, waiting for another problem, waiting for the next thing to go wrong etc etc. I'd begun living in a state of dread. The tiniest of challenges became overwhelming, such as finding the time to go to the shop to get bread. It would lead me to tears on occasion. Even the ring of my phone would trigger my nervous system, as I expected another problem on the other end of the line. Hypervigilance can be so overwhelming and so incredibly exhausting. In a state of pure exhaustion and with our nervous system ramped up to 100, our tolerance levels can be so unbelievably low when there's just no relief. And then there is the question 'Why the heck is no one making my life easier, offering me some form of relief?'.</p><p> </p><p>To <em>demand</em> relief can be a hard thing to do. For example, to demand (thoughtfully) 'You need to find me such a super low stress lot of jobs to choose from so the job actually comes as some form of relief'. If the response you get is something along the lines of 'You'll take what we give you', your response could be 'Do <em>not</em> give me jobs to seek out that I just will <em>not</em> be able to tolerate. It's <em>your</em> job to find me positions I can work with'. If you need to be specific with the job search agency, seek only jobs that are in small shops, for example, where there are not a lot of people coming through, there is another staff member managing for support and the clientele are typically friendly. Something like a Salvation Army store. Or maybe jobs where you're working with animals instead of highly triggering types of people. Only accept jobs that <em>feel</em> like some form of relief from stress. Bit of a Goldilocks challenge (Too hot, too cold, <em>just right</em>). You deserve a break, you really do. People really need to start stepping up for you. How would you begin <em>demanding</em> that they do?</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unreadable-title/td-p/568343" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47866", "content": "<p>Hi, does anyone have this experience and how to deal with it? No one likes me, and I know if they do seem to now, it will end when they get to know me or I make a mistake. I've had repeated experiences of this with my family over the years where I think they like me and then I realise they don't because of something they say or do. Its gotten to the point where I don't have anything to do with them anymore. At first I thought it was them and not me, and I could find a different experience outside my family, in work and friends. But I have had this experience now repeatedly at work and I feel like I need to constantly move fast enough (before they realise I am shit) to a different job where people don't yet hate me. I have a few friends but I am withdrawing from them because I don't want to have them hate me. I have seen psychologists to try to understand this but it always ends with me realising they don't like me either and I stop seeing them. I feel like I can't seek support for this because I don't want to reach out to someone else who will ultimately hate me again. I have always asked psychologists whats wrong with me, what am I doing wrong that people don't like me and they keep telling me I am doing nothing wrong to make people not like me, but there must be a big something because this just happens over and over repeatedly. I wish I could find out what that thing is but every time whatever I do I seem to get it wrong and there is just a multitude of things I can do wrong for people to not like me.</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>I'm sorry things are difficult for you at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>Just reading through what you are saying here there seems to be a re-occurring theme that you think people will not like you because you are for some reason unlikable. If people get to know you they won't like you because there is something fundamentally wrong with you.</p><p> </p><p>I doubt very much whether this is the case. Having low self-esteem or low self-worth can give you the idea that you are fundamentally unlikable. We can pick up these ideas from anywhere possibly childhood. They sit in the back of your mind like a law that goes unchallenged and alters how you see the world. We see someone react to something we say or do and we tell ourselves that they don't like is because we believe no one can.</p><p> </p><p>I would try and find a psychologist that can help you look at how you see yourself and challenge some of the ideas. I think the answer to this is how you see yourself rather than how the world sees you.</p><p> </p><p>Hope find a way to sort this out.</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/47866", "content": "<p>Thanks Dean07 I think you are right. I have an appointment with a psychologist next week so I will talk to her about it. Its hard to separate my thoughts from what might be actually going on and it feels safer to just assume the worst somehow because that way I can't be disappointed. But that then ends up with me feeling really crap which is not a good cost to pay for feeling 'safe'. Thank you for replying.</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Assuming for the moment you are correct, why do you feel people <em>should</em> necessarily like you? And if they don't, does that necessarily imply they automatically 'hate' you?</p><p>There are so many degrees of 'likeability' (or the inverse) I wonder if your interpretation is presently too narrow banded to accept the <em>variables</em>.</p><p>For some, it is enough to be 'politely tolerated' to qualify as acquaintances, but to advance this status requires some action or gesture to plant the seed of more lasting friendship and subsequent significant events that nurture this familiarity - a certain 'give and take' approach; but this takes time, patience, and enough belief in yourself to realise you are more than what other people think of you.</p><p>Easiest way to be liked is to <em>do the things you like</em> - welcoming and actively encouraging those who wish to join in. This equally applies if you are one of the latter: participate without expectation and just enjoy the interaction until something arises either way.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/46041", "content": "<p>Hi RML,</p><p>I have had a similar experience with people over the decades.   First at school and then out in the workforce.   I have never been a popular person anywhere and it is rare for people to warm to me.   I have no idea what it is about me or if it is indeed just me or their expectation of me.   I don't think I will ever find out.   It wasn't until I retired in 2018 that I found some relief from the mental anguish that this torture gave me.   That is well over sixty years of pain and suffering.   No matter what I did, I always seemed to upset people and they got angry with me.   It didn't matter who it was.   To me, it seemed like there was someone waiting around every corner to beat the living daylights out of me.  Now, I have the luxury of not having to worry about what people think about me any more and I am a better person for it.   I just stay away from everyone now and live alone and keep myself happy.   There never have been such times of freedom.</p><p>Regards</p><p>AMD</p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/30019", "content": "<p>Hi, I feel like this too, it's hard but it's in your head. If their true friends they won't care about mistakes, it's only when you make the same one &amp; not all the time.</p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>You sound like you could be my twin. This too has been my entire life with 60 around the next corner. I find myself also having less and less tolerance of other people these days, instead of just the other way around. I enjoy living alone but am always fighting in the quick sand</p></div>", "date": "22-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/no-one-likes-me/td-p/567945" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47918", "content": "<p>Always feeling run down, tired, heart rate fast, sore neck and shoulders, and headache, and patience isn’t great, don’t sleep well</p></div>", "date": "18-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-issues-i-think/td-p/568206" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi Maisie-E,</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for sharing some of your anxiety symptoms. I understand that anxiety can affect all aspects of life and can be distressing. Have you seen a GP about this?</p><p> </p><p>You can find some great anxiety management techniques here: <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strate...</a> </p><p> </p><p>Hope that helps.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "19-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-issues-i-think/td-p/568206" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>Please see a doctor for a check up to rule out any physical problem. Good luck to you</p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-issues-i-think/td-p/568206" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47048", "content": "<p><span class=\"\">My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and about a year ago I found porn on his phone I had never discussed porn with him or how I felt about it. After finding it I confronted him and I was very upset and disheartened. He told me he’d stop but months later I found more through reddit and YouTube. I gave him multiple times to try and tell me but he kept denying and lying to me. After I told him what I saw he apologises and we talked about boundaries again. He started downloading wellness apps to help with his addiction. However this has happened and he has lied to me 3/4 times since about stopping and then me finding it. I have lost so much trust and it has ruined my self esteem and am always anxious about what he might be doing. He has not watched porn for about 5 months as I’ve been told but he has told me he searches up porn stars/bikini models on Instagram but “does nothing with it”. I feel defeated and not sure what to do. I feel guilty in getting so upset about this and constantly questioning myself despite him trying his best and telling me </span></p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/boyfriend-with-porn-addiction/td-p/568335" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi confusion,  \n\n We’re sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way and going through such a difficult time with your partner. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.  \n\n It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">speak to them on webchat here</a>.   \n\n It must be really difficult not feeling like you can't trust your partner, and we can understand how confusing all of these events must’ve been for you, it’s important to remember that you are deserving of respect. If you’re ever at all concerned about how your partner’s behaviour is affecting you, you should reach out to 1800 Respect on 1800 737 732. They’re kind, understanding and non-judgmental, and can talk things through with you any time, either on the phone <a href=\"https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">or in their online chat</a>.   \n\n It is wonderful that you have been able to reach out for support here on the forums, but you never know who might read it and feel less alone in their own experience.   \n\n Kind regards,  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/boyfriend-with-porn-addiction/td-p/568335" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Confusion, there are many other ways he can still have access to these sites and in a relationship the trust between you has vanished, because he may seem to be doing what you are disappointed in, but if he hasn't told you the whole thruth then problems may occur later on, especially if you have a disagreement about anything.</p><p>You can never be sure he is doing his best, because pretending doesn't mean this.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/boyfriend-with-porn-addiction/td-p/568335" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/39511", "content": "<p>Hello there,</p>\n\n<p>I am currently on antidepressant and antianxiety medication. I have severe anxiety and have recently been treated with ECT for major depression.</p>\n\n<p>My psychiatrist is considering TMS - has anyone experienced this treatment? My current symptoms are more anxiety than depression. I’m experiencing overwhelming dread/nervousness, an underlying ‘jittery’ feeling, derealisation, stress. </p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tms-experience/td-p/568111" }, { "author": "user-id/47917", "content": "<p>Hi Maggie</p><p>I get TMS pretty regularly....it works. I find the lows aren't as low as they were before I had ect or before my first round of tms.   I get maintenance tms so I go in every 6 months or so for a course, sometimes every 3 months. No side effects like ect or general anaesthetic which was knocking me around when I was having maintenance ect. </p></div>", "date": "18-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tms-experience/td-p/568111" }, { "author": "user-id/39511", "content": "<p>Hello Kate-ey,</p><p>Thank you for your reply. It is much appreciated. Can I ask if you received TMS mainly for depression, or anxiety too?</p></div>", "date": "19-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tms-experience/td-p/568111" }, { "author": "user-id/47917", "content": "<p>I have both but my depression is worse or harder to manage than the anxiety. I find both improve but I don't know how much the anxiety is wrapped up with the depression eg is it improved because I'm more anxious when the dep is bad? They do different 'protocols' for different conditions....different places on the head, different frequencies....</p></div>", "date": "20-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tms-experience/td-p/568111" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47911", "content": "<p class=\"\">I love stationery - specifically notebooks, for as long as I can remember. Growing up, Mum would take us kids to the nearest mall each week, and she knew best to leave me alone on the stationery section. I can literally stay there for hours. It have no idea what it was, but there is just something magical about touching the feel of the paper, how the book itself is bound and the many print options available.</p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\">Back in the day, there was a trend of collecting “biodata” from classmates. Notebooks and diaries would get passed around and we would fill out our personal details, favourite things, etc. Not a surprise, of course I participated in this trend. However, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made me feel that something was not quite right with it. Was it the handwriting? Or how the pages were filled out? In the end, I would rip out the notebooks, buy new ones, get people to fill it out again, and repeat the process.</p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\">Of course I didn’t think much about it at the time (I was a kid after all), but this wasteful habit pretty much stuck with me for at least 20 years, even today. I did the same back in high school. Countless of times, the course notes I have written would feel wrong - be it the handwriting, the colour of the pen, the pen pressure, or even a little smudge. Again, I would rip the pages, and rewrite them again either on the same notebook or a new one.</p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\">I love buying diaries, planners and the like. But I can’t seem to dump this habit of mine and keep a full book It really is such a shame because I used to love writing in journals and those memories are pretty much gone.</p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\">It seems like this habit sort of creeped into my workalike too - even digital stuff. I would type things out on Word, and for instance, if a certain paragraph does not seem right, be it in font, spacing etc, I tend to have the urge to re-type the entire paragraph over and over again until it is “perfect”. Is it a waste of time? Of course.</p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\">My question goes, is this a form of untreated OCD? Anyone experienced the same and what have you done to manage it?</p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/do-i-have-ocd/td-p/568155" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi sharichan</p><p> </p><p>Being a 52yo gal, I come from the era before e-books. Books can be such a sensory experience - the <em>sound</em> of the pages turning, the <em>feel</em>/texture of the book, the <em>visual</em> aspect and perhaps most of all the <em>smell</em> of a <em>new</em> book. My kids and I are funny; while they're now 17 and 20, we still all remain people who will share with each other the smell of a new book. It's a habit that's never been broken.</p><p> </p><p>Over time, I've come to see OCD from a natural perspective in some cases. While an obsessive compulsion is not always a bad thing, given that people feel such a strong compulsion to hit the gym or go for a run every morning, when it creates <em>disorder</em> in our life and/or in the lives of others it can become a problem. Imagine the compulsion to be at the gym by 5am being so strong to the point where nothing gets in the way, including stopping on the way to the gym to help someone who's been in a serious car accident or maybe someone at home's so sick they need us to take them to hospital at 4.50 and we just can't do it based on missing the 5am gym call.</p><p> </p><p>Personally, I have an obsessive compulsion to research a lot of stuff. It gives me a high, finding out about amazing stuff I had no idea of. It's not a problem until it becomes one. No dinner cooked tonight because I'm obsessed with researching something fascinating. Running late for appointments because 'I just have to look at this'. Losing track of time, based on the 3 hours I got completely lost in, in front of my laptop. The highs I gain from research and discovery can create significant disorder in other parts of my life and sometimes for other people too. Is my sense of wonder a form of OCD? Maybe so.</p><p> </p><p>I think sometimes it can be about getting that high. Whether we want to acknowledge it <em>chemically</em> as being about getting hits of dopamine or whether we wish to label at as being soulful forms of inspiration that we can <em>feel</em> in ways that really bring us to life, the choice remains ours in how we wish to see it. Sometimes it can be about <em>a sense of relief</em> too. Kind of like 'If I wash my hands 17 times in the next 5 minutes, I won't have to <em>stress</em> about whether I've got all the germs off them'. </p><p> </p><p>My daughter used to drive herself crazy at times, ripping out pages of work she'd spent a lot of time on. One spelling mistake, one word not written perfectly enough (amongst 1000 words), the appearance of the page just not <em>feeling</em> right and the list goes on. Exams at school were often challenging, having to write faster within limited time. She finally accepted she needed to write <em>differently</em> under different circumstances. In exams she allowed mistakes or cross outs under the circumstances, she allowed for less perfect writing based on time limitation etc. While she'd some disappointment, the real high came from completing the exam in time. She began to label her different forms of writing as her exam style, her classroom style, her homework style of writing.</p></div>", "date": "18-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/do-i-have-ocd/td-p/568155" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello <span>sharichan, with OCD the people who have it, have obsessions that need to be done whenever the person feels as though it should.</span></p><p><span>I also have this illness and unless we don't or can't perform these duties then we become agitated and find a way so that 'it can be performed'.</span></p><p><span>It's something I've had for over 60 years and it's dominated my life, will get back to you as I have to leave, I'm sorry.</span></p><p><span>Geoff.</span></p><p><span>Life Member.</span></p></div>", "date": "18-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/do-i-have-ocd/td-p/568155" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47854", "content": "<p>Hi my name is Chris,</p><p>I was always suffered from anxiety.  Well recently I started a new job and my anxiety has got out of hand.  I feel overwhelmed, stressed (migraines) can't think straight, not my happy relaxed self, I am physically and mentally a wreck at work.  I an also dislexia, so I learn hands on, and pick up new skills slower.  Being a single person this puts more pressure on me.  Please help any ideas to help overcome this negative mindset.</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/47840", "content": "<p>Hi Chris, I hope you're doing well. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":sunflower:\">🌻</span>🧡</p><p>Starting a new job can be very stressful especially when anxiety is lurking over you.</p><p>What I have tried is lighting a nice candle and listening to soothing music then try to understand why I'm feeling a certain way and talk myself through it. </p><p>I hope you've reached out to people at work. Sometimes they have someone you can talk to when feeling overwhelmed.</p><p> </p><p>Take care. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":sunflower:\">🌻</span>🧡</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/47854", "content": "<p>Thank you.<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":cherry_blossom:\">🌸</span></p><p>For your kind words and advice</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>hi chris,</p><p> </p><p>i am sorry you are experiencing this, it would be hard. These seem like the symptoms of anxiety for sure, i know how you feel - it's so frustrating <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> </p><p> </p><p>my partner has dyslexia and he is a tradie, because of what you said - he learns hands on. i can see it cause him stress when he has to do bookwork and things like that, in fact he actively avoids it because he doesn't like the stress. it's hard. especially when you need to push through it to make an income.</p><p> </p><p>the best thing with my anxiety was tackling my worries hands on, and realising they weren't too bad. but, i did this with the help of psychologist. is this something you would be open to?</p><p> </p><p>i hope things get better soon,</p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/47860", "content": "<p>Hi Chris!</p><p> </p><p>I hope something here helps…</p><p> </p><p>There’s a lot of people who learn hands - so you are aware of how you learn best and separating dyslexia for a moment - new jobs are a bit stressful no matter what because we are all anxious to show we are capable and want to learn the job and reach the point of ‘knowing’ faster than our minds can.</p><p> </p><p>We forget how long it takes to learn things when we are moving into something new. <br><br></p><p>Good news is… it’s a common feeling and so everyone is in the same boat. <br><br></p><p>So maybe just remembering that is a strategy - not in the sense of taking away how hard you work. I mean. The awareness of shared experience and actually looking around and seeing that inside everyone’s mind are fears, anxieties and insecurities that they hide.</p><p> </p><p>As for the challenges of the new role - what went well? What did you do today that was one step closer to learning your job?</p><p> </p><p>And what mistakes did you learn from? You grew from that experience. <br><br></p><p>The brain learns through repetition until the pathways get strong and that’s the process you’re in.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t have specific advice for dyslexia but giving yourself a break and being kind is important.</p><p> </p><p>I have a condition which is invisible and affects learning and remembering that we all start off not knowing… all have to practice our job and it take time… writing a list of what went well before bed…</p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow is another day. Anxiety feels awful and I have to say this a lot when I struggle with something challenging. Hot shower, hot cup of tea. Snuggle into bed. Tomorrow is another day. <br><br></p><p>And I also constantly remind myself of the end goal. I visualize where I’ll be when I master things.</p><p> </p><p>I take as much as I can and make it an exciting challenge…</p><p> </p><p>And the stuff I can’t do that with and just beats me down - I acknowledge what happened that day and write my list of what I learnt or how I grew - and have a ‘it’s ok, tomorrow I’ll get back on the horse’</p><p> </p><p>It’s important to accept and be ok with these hard feelings and let them just be. New jobs are stressful. Challenges that others can’t see are stressful.</p><p> </p><p>have you disclosed your condition because people can accommodate your learning style and work with you to find things that work </p><p> </p><p>it’s not a big deal. Not a big ask. I would have no problems working with you and figuring out how to buddy with you and train you up according to your learning style and needs… and be encouraging </p><p> </p><p>so this isn’t a big ask but only if you disclose your condition normally</p><p> </p><p>if you don’t disclose then you’re like me… I never do. Maybe there’s something on YouTube about your job? The type of work you do?<br><br></p><p>If they’re telling you to read procedures and not accommodating you… just say you learn by watching and doing and ask to buddy with someone </p><p> </p><p>Babies don’t learn to work by reading a user manual… neither do most adult </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/47334", "content": "<p>Hey Chris,</p><p> </p><p>I’m sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I would recommend you do some research about your workplace and what they offer for those with dyslexia and anxiety, or if they do at all. If you work differently as an individual and are dealing with some heavy emotional burdens, and your employers aren’t aware, they may overlook it and put you at a disadvantage. It would be unfavourable towards you, considering you are having a hard time.</p><p> </p><p>I wish you the best,</p><p>yours_truly</p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" }, { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I think everyone experiences some degree of anxiety when starting a new job, and it's completely normal that it will take some time for you to settle into your new role.</p><p> </p><p>Please try to give yourself some leniency while you adjust. I'm sure none of your coworkers think any less of you for needing some time to get used to your new responsibilities.</p><p> </p><p>Try to keep a positive mindset and acknowledge the things you are good at, instead of focusing solely on the things you need to improve on. </p><p><span> </span></p><p><span>Hope this helps. I'm sure you will be ok, just remember they hired you for a reason. </span></p><p><span>I hope you feel more comfortable and confident soon. </span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-new-job/td-p/567832" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/45759", "content": "<p>I get scared to fall asleep everynight because I think I’m not going to wake up or I’m going to be in a bad dream or something bad will happen, I also don’t feel real and get worked up and get to scared to sleep. Right now I feel butterflies in my stomach because I don’t feel real and scared I’m going to sleep and never going to wake up </p></div>", "date": "16-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-to-fall-asleep-coz-u-won-t-wake-up-or-don-t-feel-real/td-p/567988" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi raq,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry for your challenge. I'm not a professional, but it looks like you are experiencing anxiety about falling sleep. I can share what I've done to improve my own sleep quality.</p><p> </p><p>Establish a bedtime routine is important. Create a relaxing routine before bed to signal to your body that it's time to sleep. This could involve activities such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or practicing deep breathing exercises. Pick things that you feel relax. Make sure your bedroom is conducive to sleep. Keep the room dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature.</p><p> </p><p>Also, limit your screen time before bed. The blue light emitted by electronic devices can interfere with sleep. Try to avoid screens (phones, computers, tv) at least an hour before bed.</p><p> </p><p>I used to go to bed at different times every day, only when I felt sleepy, and found it terrible. I started to realise that establishing a regular sleep schedule can help regulate my body's internal clock and improve sleep quality.</p><p> </p><p>Regular physical activity during the day (not close to bedtime!) can help reduce anxiety and help better sleep.</p><p> </p><p>If nothing works, and you feel you have persistent anxiety, it's important to consult with a mental health professional/therapist through your GP who can provide personalised advice, particularly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT, which can be effective in managing anxiety and sleep-related issues. A therapist can help you identify and challenge any negative or irrational thoughts that contribute to your fear of falling asleep.</p><p> </p><p>Hope everything will be better.<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-to-fall-asleep-coz-u-won-t-wake-up-or-don-t-feel-real/td-p/567988" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear raq,</p><p> </p><p>I’m so sorry this is happening to you….This also happens to me in the times I’ve been triggered….I can relate in a way to what your going through…</p><p> </p><p>I agree with our lovely Mark Z, that if it continues to please reach out for professional help..</p><p><br>When I was hospitalised due to my mental health, I learnt about sleep stories..I put one on every night and listen intently to the peaceful stories that are being read to me…by listening to them, it’s taking my anxious thoughts and distracting them into something much more peaceful and calming…At times my mind will wander off the story and back to my anxious thoughts, I just pull myself up and start to listen to them again…I do fall asleep most nights before the story is finished…with my thoughts in the peacefulness of the story…</p><p> </p><p>Maybe this is something that you might consider trying…I get mine on You Tube there are hundreds on their to choose from..I do hope you will  give it a try and get back to us and let us know how you went…..We also have a “Sleep” thread that has so many different ideas to try….</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts dear raq, with my care..</p><p>Grandy..</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-to-fall-asleep-coz-u-won-t-wake-up-or-don-t-feel-real/td-p/567988" }, { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>I'm sorry you have been experiencing anxiety about falling asleep. I have had similar feelings before.</p><p> </p><p>Like Ggrand I also find listening to a calming story or music whilst I try to fall asleep helpful. There are lots of different kinds on YouTube or Spotify, or you could even try listening to an audiobook if you prefer.</p><p> </p><p>I also find it helpful to have my dog/s sleep in the bed with me as I trust them to wake me if they feel something is wrong, but I am unsure if this would be possible for you. </p><p> </p><p>I hope you find something to help you relax and get some sleep. </p></div>", "date": "17-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-to-fall-asleep-coz-u-won-t-wake-up-or-don-t-feel-real/td-p/567988" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47825", "content": "<p>Lately I have been feeling so anxious its completely overwhelming. I can't sleep properly, I wake up with pounding anxiety all the time. And I notice that I'm grinding my teeth without realising. I feel so anxious sometimes I can't control it, and I sometimes cry all day because I feel so anxious. I'm in my mid-20s studying overseas and travelling. I just feel so alone, and like a failure because I'm such a crying mess. I try to reach out to my friends and family, but I still feel homesick and alone. I feel like everyone thinks I should be so happy because I'm young and travelling, and sometimes I am happy, but a lot of the time I just feel sad, scared and lonely. I get so worried I that will be paralysed with anxiety and something will go wrong, or something bad will happen, and I won't be able to look after myself. It will be a couple of months until I move back home and can get counselling, I don't know if anyone has advice on how to cope with the anxiety until then, or if anyone can relate to feeling this way?  </p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-loneliness-overseas/td-p/567704" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi flowers_,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety and loneliness you're currently experiencing. You are not alone in this. Many people feel the same way when travelling or living overseas.</p><p> </p><p>While maintaining communication with your family is crucial, it may also be beneficial to seek professional support remotely. You could schedule a call with your GP and ask for a referral to a counselor who can provide phone or video consultations.</p><p> </p><p>Furthermore, try to focus on establishing new friendships and immersing yourself in the journey. There are various techniques to manage and reduce anxiety, such as regular exercise, journaling daily, and practicing meditation or yoga.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, taking care of your physical health is equally essential. This includes maintaining a balanced diet, indulging in relaxing activities like a hot shower, and ensuring you're getting enough sleep.</p><p> </p><p>I hope these suggestions bring some relief and that your situation improves soon. Remember, you are not alone in this, and help is available.</p><p> </p><p>Warmly,</p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-loneliness-overseas/td-p/567704" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello flowers_, I'm sorry you are feeling this way and because you feel this way, please don't feel sad for crying, because this is how people deal with a situation like this.</p><p>Put a wall calendar and cross off the days until you can return home, this will give a physical look at the days counting down.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-loneliness-overseas/td-p/567704" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>I had a similar feeling many years ago when studying overseas. Everything is unfamiliar. The main thing is the emotional support of family isn't there if you need it. It is normal to feel homesick. The expectations of how you should feel is different to how you actually feel. It sounds like there is a conflict. For me personally I came home earlier than anticipated. I had to be honest with myself. I was no longer enjoying my time. But everyone is different. It depends how much it would upset your studies and how important they are to you.</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-loneliness-overseas/td-p/567704" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47820", "content": "<p>Hi y'all,</p><p>I'm just going to get straight to the point. </p><p>Today, I went to the stores and bought a pair of new headphones. They're pretty simple headphones, do the job. And later after I got back, I started using them then I just get a really bad feeling, like my house is going to catch on fire or something. I know it's unrealistic but I can't shake the feeling. I get this feeling a lot and I'm not sure what to do. Any thoughts?</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Lilith_was_here~</p><p>Welcome to the Forum, it sounds like you are having a pretty distressing time. Sometimes people do get unwanted thoughts of bad things going to happen, and those thoughts simply appear for no reason.</p><p> </p><p>This is pretty distressing and I'd suggest the best thing to do is go see your GP and set out exactly what has been happening. If you think it might be too difficult to explain when you are there then do as I've done and write it out in the days before the appointment then hand it over. The doctor will appreciate having something exact to work from , and you will not have to try to remember everything on the spot.</p><p> </p><p>Do you think this might be a good idea?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Lilith_was_here</p><p> </p><p>Might seem like a strange question but are you sensitive to sound? To put it another way, do you <em>feel</em> sound?</p><p> </p><p>It's an interesting topic 'The ability to feel sound'. Depending on which camp you come from (science or spirituality) both cover quite a lot of 'sound energy' topics. For example, quantum physics acknowledges the molecules in our cells hold energy. Sound is also a form of energy. The sound energy you listen to is something you may <em>feel</em> in your cells when they become more excited, vibrating faster. If they vibrate incredibly fast, this is <em>hyper</em> activity. So, it's a matter of 'What does serious hyperactivity feel like in our body?'. With the brand 'Bose' for example, they're noted as being about <em>pure</em> sound as opposed to offering <em>average</em> sound quality. So you could say we <em>feel</em> pure sound/energy more intensely (through out body, which includes our nervous system). In the camp known as 'spirituality', it's about 'raising the vibe' or simply increasing vibration to the point where you can <em>feel</em> the increase.</p><p> </p><p>I have 3 different lots of ear phones and each one offers a different feeling experience. The purest sound typically sets off feelings somewhere around my solar plexus and heart area. While, at first, really good quality ear or headphones felt absolutely dreadful (producing feelings of dread), I came to re-label the feeling or feelings while experimenting with different sounds through those phones. Calm meditation music compared with a high vibey group like The Black eyed Peas. Very different <em>feel</em>, for sure.</p><p> </p><p>If you <em>are</em> sensitive to sound energy, would be interesting to know how you <em>feel</em> shopping centres, large events, different types of music, lots of people talking at once etc etc. While I'm a gal who's sensitive to sound to some degree, my son's on a whole other level. He actually wore earplugs to his year 12 formal earlier this year, so as to help manage his nervous system.</p><p> </p><p>If emotion is defined as 'energy in motion', the question can be 'What <em>kind</em> of energy am I feeling that is in motion within me?'. Getting a feel for that type of energy is an interesting exercise. Happy, sad, stressful, exciting, overwhelming or perhaps something altogether different we're yet to find a label for?</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" }, { "author": "user-id/47820", "content": "<p>Thanks Croix for your reply,</p><p>Seeing my GP sounds like a really good idea until I go see them, I'll write down my thoughts when it does happen again.</p><p>Lilith</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" }, { "author": "user-id/47820", "content": "<p>Thanks for your reply, therising,</p><p>That's an interesting question actually. I think I'm sensitive to sound to a certain degree, I think it depends on the general mood that I'm in. At large events (e.g. a sports match), I can do quite well but I think at shopping centres I do find it hard to think straight when there are too many people talking. I will ask myself what energy I'm feeling when I am feeling stressed or nervous in the future.</p><p>Thanks again, </p><p>Lilith</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>I doubt it will be anything specifically to do with the sound quality (or lack of) or even the sensory deprivation associated with removing ambient sounds (although these can affect some people) but if you feel this way when submerged in a bathtub or in a sound proof room (recording studio for instance) then it may indeed be the case.</p><p>My thoughts lean more to the physical impact of wearing headphones (equally applicable to 'bud' style in-ear variants and even glasses incorrectly fitted) for any extended period. The head contains many sensitive pressure points which can result in sensation subtly transmitted from the constant force applied from the band being too tight or ear cups poorly designed (or a combination of both) so checking the fitting would be the first place to start before necessarily racing off to the doctor.</p><p>Naturally, if this sensation extends to different conditions, then certainly take the necessary action.</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-just-have-this-really-bad-feeling/td-p/567685" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/24464", "content": "<p>hey there, what physical symptoms of anxiety do you experience? </p>\n<p>I often feel very alone in my experience of having physical chest (what I think are heart) spasms and was wanting to create a space for everyone to list their physical feelings that come hand in hand with anxiety so we can all feel less alone. </p>\n<p>hope everyone is well. </p></div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/44530", "content": "<p>Yes I feel very alone. I get Chest tightness, heart flutters, sharp pain between my shoulder blades. Nausea. This all mimics a heart attack which adds to my anxiety </p></div>", "date": "25-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/47097", "content": "<p>Nausea, heart palpitations, needing to be closed indoors. <br>feelings of self harm </p></div>", "date": "29-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/16903", "content": "<p>I usually get hands and feet weaknesses that I can't control. There are days when I can't raise a hand in the morning because of the weakness.</p></div>", "date": "23-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>I make fists and dig my nails into my palms, my teeth start to chatter, my eyes get blurry, my breathing gets rapid, legs get jelly, it can feel like the ground is moving and im going to fall over, i freeze up and every muscle in my body tightens it feels.</p><p> </p><p>when im having an anxiety attack, im on the ground or in a bed and curled up with muscle spasms in my gut in tune with my crying and rapid breathing, my whole body fits around - muscles all tense up my feet, my hands i move all about like with tensing up and then releasing and its like that for about half and hour even to an hour. Afterwards i will catch my breath and yawn and then a big breath and feel a sense of relief even if the trigger that made it happen is still present. </p></div>", "date": "08-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/47819", "content": "<p>thanks</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi Speechless,</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for sharing. It sounds like you go through a wave of symptoms when experiencing anxiety. Similarly, my breathing gets rapid and I feel like someone is standing on my throat when I'm in panic. My muscles with tighten up and spasm also. It is good when this happens to try and practice breathing or relaxation techniques. There are some listed here: <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/relaxation-exercises\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/staying-well/relaxation-exercises</a> </p><p> </p><p>Hope that helps,</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/80" }, { "author": "user-id/24464", "content": "<p>hey there, what physical symptoms of anxiety do you experience? </p>\n<p>I often feel very alone in my experience of having physical chest (what I think are heart) spasms and was wanting to create a space for everyone to list their physical feelings that come hand in hand with anxiety so we can all feel less alone. </p>\n<p>hope everyone is well. </p></div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Annabay, some great replies back to you as well as to the many others suffering from anxiety.</p>\n<p>OCD can be a form of unwanted recurring and persistent thoughts, urges or impulses by having obsessions, compulsions or unfortunately, both, which cause great anxiety and distress and will create a physical feeling related to this disorder.</p>\n<p>When someone is unable to perform their habit/ritual, then these feelings may cause physical symptoms, such as a fast heart rate and shakiness and can keep you from carrying on with your life normally.</p>\n<p>Best wishes.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "31-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/18941", "content": "Hi Geoff , I’m a bit of a newby at this , first question is if I reply to you do the other guys see it ? And on the subject of physical feelings I myself have this very nervous / tense feeling all over my body which comes and goes depending on mood , scenario / busy at work etc , tiredness , if I don’t eat to well / drink to much ( but can manage everything in moderation ) I’m on medication and it says one side affect MAY be anxiety , I’m more than productive at home / kids and socially and work ( now ! But earlier ) but it is a bit of an effort to get going sometimes and this is my first stint with anxiety/ depression ? hence receiving plenty of support and treatment. I’ve read it before and it does seem selfish but it’s good to know I’m not alone and everyone is different</div>", "date": "31-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hi Timmy1</p>\n<p>Even though Annabay wrote this thread on Oct 22nd we can see your post and Welcome to the forums too <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>Always great to have newbies Timmy1.....<em>If we didnt have new members posting the forums wouldnt exist</em></p>\n<p>So you can have more specific responses to your own situation you are welcome to start your own thread if you wish</p>\n<p>Great to have you on the forums!</p>\n<p>Paul</p></div>", "date": "01-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/38929", "content": "<p>For me the physical manifestation I can only describe as a cold, rushing sensation in the chest. I'm told that's adrenaline. A friend of mine used the term \"flooding\" to describe it in it's constant mode. </p></div>", "date": "03-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/1164", "content": "<p>My symptoms - constant sighing and yawning, trying to get the peak breath. Which ends up making my jaw and chest hurt. </p>\n<p>And because my anxiety alters my breathing (in my mind) I'm constantly aware of my surroundings; where is the nearest hospital? Where is the closest door/toilet if I need to escape? etc</p>\n<p>It's been happening for the past 2 months after I experienced a particular rough panic attack, and it's just exhausting! </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "05-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/41806", "content": "<p>Hi smcg10,</p>\n<p>Your symptoms sound very similar to mine... although I've never actually been diagnosed!</p>\n<p>I had a large panic attack at the start of 2019, which completely altered my life - but mostly my breathing, it's almost like I've needed to re-learn how to breathe.</p>\n<p>My symptoms are shortness of breath, heart palpitations, constant back pain and jaw pain as well as some dizziness. Tried to find something physically wrong with myself for so long but being in denial never helped. I suffer from at least one of these symptoms everyday, but have learnt to manage. </p>\n<p>Agreed, it's very exhausting... no wonder my body is always tense!</p></div>", "date": "10-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Timmy, I'm sorry I haven't got back to you and yes if you reply back to me then everybody who wants to read a thread is able to read what you've said.</p>\n<p>That maybe good because what you do say may help someone who's hiding away and too frightened to make a comment, so it may help draw them out and join in.</p>\n<p>Any side-effects from medication will be listed in their pamphlet but it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen to you, the company has to list all of what may happen, only for legal reasons and to protect them legally.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "11-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>This is the second time my comments have gone through, so Ill have to check with BB why it's happening.</p>\n<p>Are you able to start your own thread, simply because comments made on somebody else's thread do get lost and not answered, so please let us know.</p>\n<p>Take care.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p></div>", "date": "11-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/6308", "content": "<p>Hi Geoff </p>\n<p><em>Any side-effects from medication will be listed in their pamphlet but it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to happen to you, the company has to list all of what may happen, only for legal reasons and to protect them legally.</em><br>\n<br>\nThis is sort of true but only in legal terms . For example in there would be increased anxiety and depression which is only two things but would include many things in themselves . <br>\n<br>\nI believe that the powers that be need to fund a mental health diary that a person can write in things that happen after they start a med so that a doctor can see what may have changed from the medication . As much as people just dont want to talk about it they do cause side effects if they dont agree with you but then the correct one will cause very little . <br>\n<br>\nOne with me caused me to be manic on a very low dose within hours , where as one i took gave me no side effects. <br>\n<br>\nDoctors need to listen to the people they are treating and i think a diary would be a great help with this. </p>\n<p>cheers kev</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "11-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/21370", "content": "<p>I get the typical nauseous feeling in my stomach and being generally confused/clouded thoughts.</p>\n<p>If my anxiety is moving towards a panic attack, it usually starts with a hot feeling around my neck area and moves to being short of breath, nauseous, sweating profusely and a somewhat irrational and immediate desire to 'get out of there'. (i.e. leave whatever area I'm in regardless of what that is)</p></div>", "date": "11-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/24464", "content": "<p>hey there, what physical symptoms of anxiety do you experience? </p>\n<p>I often feel very alone in my experience of having physical chest (what I think are heart) spasms and was wanting to create a space for everyone to list their physical feelings that come hand in hand with anxiety so we can all feel less alone. </p>\n<p>hope everyone is well. </p></div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/15339", "content": "<p>Hey everyone, </p>\n<p>so for about a month now, I have been experiencing different things, started with pins and needles in my arms (I went to the doctors about that, got a blood test, that came back fine) I then started getting randomly sharp pains in my chest, I can be doing nothing and it would just appear for like a second or so.. I have recently been experiencing like a shortness of breath, I don’t know if breast soreness is a thing but that has also been happening. I have experienced things like this in the past, it comes it goes, but it seems to be sticking around and now I’m freaking out and back to the doctors on Wednesday.. cos now I’m worried I have chronic artery disease... I know I shouldn’t google stuff but I freak out.... its mainly the random chest sharp pains that I keep getting at least once a day or a couple times during the week... that’s what is really making me more anxious... I feel like cos these things are making me anxious it’s just one big circle! Just feeling really fed up now, I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, I don’t personal feel anxious at this time in my life. Can anyone relate? Thanks guys </p></div>", "date": "24-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/7640", "content": "<p>Hi Everyone</p>\n<p>I've lost count of my physical symptoms as I'm not sure if they are anxiety related or not. I feel my GP is too quick to just assume all my health issues are due to my anxiety and depression.</p>\n<p>What happens to me when I'm anxious and feel panic coming is:</p>\n<p>I get pins and needles in my arms and hands.</p>\n<p>I sweat and shake.</p>\n<p>My whole body tightens up</p>\n<p>I feel like my head will explode</p>\n<p>My legs turn to jelly and I feel like I will fall down</p>\n<p>My heart races</p>\n<p>I have IBS and numerous digestive issues. I live with chronic musculoskeletal pain. I also have Fibromyalgia which over laps many things</p>\n<p>I'm currently very unwell and will be seeing a gastrointestinal surgeon this week hoping for answers.</p></div>", "date": "25-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/37488", "content": "I have a constant lump in the throat, or itchy throat ( a weird one) shaky hands, tightness in my stomach, tight chest and dissociation. <br>\nmove just been put on meds for my anxiety so hopefully with counselling and the meds combined some of my symptoms go... especially the throat one! <br>\nI had my anxiety under control for ages but now it’s turned into a full blown panic disorder which is really frustrating!</div>", "date": "26-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p><strong>Hey Annabay</strong>! Thankyou for this great topic!</p>\n<p><strong>Hi Kev....Panic90....Lacie....La Bas.....SMCG10....Sez....Timmy.....Purple4</strong>....</p>\n<p>thankyou so much for sharing your feelings of anxiety.....</p>\n<p>just re-posting my symptoms from above if it helps anyone</p>\n<p>*tight breathing (<em>chest muscles tightening.. restricting our ability to breathe</em>) Scary but <em>harmless</em> adrenaline side effects as a result of our anxiety problems</p>\n<p>*sweaty palms....shaky hands...<br>\n*sleep problems....waking up at silly hours.</p>\n<p>*night sweats..cold sweats...dizzyness<br>\n*diarrhea (<em>sorry</em>....yet our digestive system is the most sympathetic to anxiety issues)<br>\n*heart palpitations....scary at first until I knew it was only adrenaline working overtime</p>\n<p>you are not alone everyone</p>\n<p>Paul</p></div>", "date": "26-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8947", "content": "<p>My first symptom is always the feeling that something is sitting on my chest, like a heaviness or bad energy that needs to come out. Then I get the feeling that the only way to get rid of it is to \"cough it out\" so I'll coughing to which I think triggers hyperventilation. </p>\n<p>I'm curious if anyone else gets the urge to cough??? </p></div>", "date": "27-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p> Hi I was meaning in my comment ' <em>the second time my comments have gone through</em>', so while I was still typing a reply, my comment was posted before I had a chance to finish it.</p>\n<p>I then had to open up a new reply.</p>\n<p>Best wishes.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p></div>", "date": "29-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/1500", "content": "<p>Hi Paul,</p>\n<p>thanks for posting the symptoms, I have couple of those as well couple of others.</p>\n<p>Usually go to bed around the same time, but either wake up 2.30 am (give or take 1 hour), other times will sleep up to 12 hours.</p>\n<p>Other times I will either overeat or only have one meal a day.</p>\n<p>I never realized that a person's bowel habit would change with the level of anxiety, every day it seems to be different. </p>\n<p>Other times my hands shake, feel dizzy and feel \"otherworldly\" (it feels like that I'm sitting next to myself, observing what I'm doing).</p>\n<p>SilvaLady</p></div>", "date": "03-12-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/24265", "content": "<p>For me I have experienced multiple symptoms at different times<br>\n<br>\nFirst time was headaches and light headedness, this was April last year when I was worried about travelling to Japan by myself<br>\nSecond was my gut, it got so bad and unpredictable, that for 3 months, I was scared that I had cancer, turns out it was just highly reactive to anxiety, since then, whenever I had anxiety attacks, my gut would always be sore.</p>\n<p>Third time it was my chest, it got so tight I thought I was having a heart attack<br>\n<br>\nAnd now I've had muscle tremors and spasms and weakness!<br>\n<br>\nIts just never ending, and who knows what my next anxiety attack will give me....</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "03-12-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/1724", "content": "<p>I have a constant feeling of tension in my body (particularly in my shoulders and neck) and I get random stabbing pains in my ribs nearly every day- it almost feels like a pinched nerve. I also get heart flutters and palpitations, sweaty hands, hot and cold flushes, lightheaded and this weird sensation that I'm not really in my body. I also get pins and needles in my hands, lips and nose if it's really bad. It's a terrifying experience, especially when I get all of the symptoms at once! </p>\n<p>I thing I noticed about my anxiety is that the physical symptoms change. Just when I get used to one and I can reassure myself that it's just anxiety, I wont get that exact symptom for a while and I'll experience brand new ones instead. That part I think scares me the most because it starts a new battle in my head of 'oh no, what's this?' 'am I dying?' etc. </p>\n<p>Just out of sheer panic, I asked to see a cardiologist who I'm seeing on Friday to give me peace of mind about my heart but I've seen one before and my heart has always been okay. I'm sending so much love to all you out there going through the same thing, it's so tough. We're all so strong though and will get through it. So grateful for this little community <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "03-12-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/26251", "content": "<p>Hi there</p>\n<p>I can relate to some of the symptoms to....l also had alot of nausea and dry heaving every morning. ..it was awful. ...in time it got better but occasionally raises its ugly head again.</p></div>", "date": "04-12-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/24464", "content": "<p>hey there, what physical symptoms of anxiety do you experience? </p>\n<p>I often feel very alone in my experience of having physical chest (what I think are heart) spasms and was wanting to create a space for everyone to list their physical feelings that come hand in hand with anxiety so we can all feel less alone. </p>\n<p>hope everyone is well. </p></div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/26251", "content": "<p>Hi Annabay</p>\n<p>With my anxiety my most physical symptoms were nausea/dry reaching which lasted for months. ..mostly mornings. ..also phantom smells.</p></div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/37528", "content": "Hey there, hope you’re well. <br>\nI too would have heart palpitations.. little did I know that this was anxiety/panic at the time though. <br>\nOther physical manifestations of Anxiety for myself is my feet ‘tingle’ or ‘itch’ I can’t explain it, but it’s the most uncomfortable feeling on the soles of my feet - makes me want to sand paper them off! Nausea and those are probably the most common.. the worst I had was not being able to physically eat or drink for 2 days.. but that has only happened once. <br>\nx</div>", "date": "22-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/26251", "content": "<p>Hi there</p>\n<p>Hope your well. Yes the nausea and tummy symptoms have been awful for me over several months l feel it mostly mornings. Even though its better it has not completely gone yet.</p></div>", "date": "29-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>Me... I had sweaty palms. racing heart, lump in the throat feeling, constant sighing, and sleep problems.</p>\n<p>Now... the medication helps greatly, but I will still get that racing heart (muted), lump in the throat feeling (occasionally), constant sighing</p></div>", "date": "29-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/30382", "content": "When I feel that I get an anxiety attack my heart starts racing, I feel shaky and my voice changes. I also get physical pain too.</div>", "date": "29-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/26251", "content": "Yes the constant signing l do it often. Im on no meds l did try some in the beginning but didnt work for me ..l guess l wasnt on them very long. I take anti nausea pills if it gets to much for me.Any advice on this morning nausea.</div>", "date": "29-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/34781", "content": "<p>For me the best way I can describe the feeling is feeling like I’m drowning. I feel like my heart is being squished and I struggle to get enough air into my lungs. Having PTSD from an assault I also find that once I become stressed or anxious I get really bad pain in my legs and in my tummy. Like someone is getting a steamroller and driving it straight over the top of me. And once I’m In that state I find it so hard to get back on track. My counselor always talks to me about staying in my window of tolerance. So when I start to feel like I’m beginning to drown I need to think fast and try my best to get back on track. But of course when I try and do that I become more anxious about the fact that I’m becoming anxious. Crazy isn’t it. <br>\nI do find now though that I try and start grounding myself without even realizing I’m doing it. And I’ve got a few little sayings or quotes that I keep with me, or in my handbag when I’m out work for example, and I try and read these and remind myself that I am safe, I am brave, and I can get through this. <br>\n<br>\nhope that helps someone in someway! Life can be cruel. But look at us, leaning on each other for support and guidance. No matter how hard your past, present or future is, someone somewhere will always have your back and that’s something we all should try and remember. </p>\n<p>ah I’m babbling now, so sorry! </p>\n<br></div>", "date": "30-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hi Annabay....excellent and very helpful thread topic by the way <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>I used to have chronic anxiety that has reduced (a lot) with frequent ongoing treatment (yay!)</p>\n<ul>\n <li>tight breathing (chest muscles tightening.. restricting our ability to breath) Scary but harmless</li>\n <li>sweaty palms.....</li>\n <li>sleep problems....waking up at silly hours....(oversensitised/adrenaline release/common anxiety)</li>\n <li>night sweats..cold sweats</li>\n <li>dizzyness</li>\n <li>diarrhea (sorry.... but our digestive system is the most sympathetic to anxiety issues)</li>\n <li>heart palpitations....scary at first until I knew it was only adrenaline and way too much caffeine</li>\n</ul>\n<p>These are all very common symptoms of various levels of anxiety...They are harmless yet a good indicator that we may have slow down and make some changes...The counseling and cognitive therapy is priceless <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>So much great support here too!</p>\n<p>Great thread topic annabay....<em>I hope some of this is helpful to anyone on or off the forums</em></p>\n<p>Paul</p></div>", "date": "31-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" }, { "author": "user-id/14483", "content": "Never been able to fully describe it but I always know I'm about to descend into full panic when I start to feel like my teeth are shaking. Like a tingling in my gums.</div>", "date": "31-10-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-physical-feelings-of-anxiety-do-you-get/td-p/459396" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47834", "content": "<p>Hi I have been experiencing anxiety and depression for many years and thought I finally had things under control but lately the anxiety is getting worse and unable to get past it, I feel alone even though I am not, my heart races all the time I can't concentrate I don't want to go out or talk to people, I don't want to have it take over my life again, not sure what to do </p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dabb/td-p/567739" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Dabb,</p><p> </p><p>A very warm welcome to our forums..</p><p> </p><p>I’m m sorry your anxiety is getting worse, I can relate to you not wanting to go out or talk to people, I felt that way for many years and it’s a horrible thing to go through….</p><p> </p><p>What helped me was I reached out to my Dr. and told her how I was feeling and thinking, she put me on a mental health care plan, where I had the opportunity to speak to some professionals….Is that something you would consider?…..most times with professional help and learning how to manage our anxiety does help…</p><p> </p><p>One thing I do now is, when I feel my heart racing, I try hard to ground myself asap by. using my grounding boxes…You can find how to make them on the thread here by searching…” Grounding what is it and how do we”…it’s a way for us to distract our anxious thoughts and bring them and ourselves into the here and now…by bringing forward our 5 senses…touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste..</p><p> </p><p>Has anything that you might know of highlighted your anxiety recently?</p><p> </p><p>We are all here to help support you the best we can..</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts with my care,</p><p>Grandy..</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dabb/td-p/567739" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p><strong>Making your mental health a priority, tips:</strong></p><ul><li><em>drink water</em></li><li><em>be kind to yourself.</em></li><li><em>eat less sugar.</em></li><li><em>journal about your feelings,</em></li><li><em>Go outside and get some sunshine.</em></li><li><em>establish a bedtime routine.</em></li><li><em>put down your phone.</em></li><li><em>meditate on the truth.</em></li><li><em>make a gratitude </em><i>list.</i></li><li><em>talk to a </em><i>therapist.</i></li><li><em>breathe </em><i>deeply.</i></li><li><em>go for a </em><i>walk.</i></li></ul><p>I hope you find that some of these tips work for you<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span></p></div>", "date": "12-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/make-your-mental-health-a-priority/td-p/567736" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47804", "content": "<p> Dealing with anxiety and life struggle </p></div>", "date": "10-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/567599" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Mail,</p><p> </p><p>A very warm and caring welcome to our forums..</p><p> </p><p>I can relate to dealing with anxiety and life’s struggles so much…It can be at times very hard, one thing I’ve learnt is that with professional help our anxiety can be managed a bit..</p><p> </p><p>How are you feeling today?</p><p> </p><p>Here if you want to chat some more..</p><p> </p><p>Thinking of you with kindness and care,</p><p>Grandy</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/567599" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/44774", "content": "<p>I am a 52 year old woman with 3 teenage children. I have always wanted to be a good example for them when I could.</p><p> </p><p>I haven't worked since 2001 after 3 nervous breakdowns over 10 years.  After all my children were born I attempted to do a bachelor in primary school teaching startingand finished in 2011, but we had an emergency foster placement with special needs and I couldn't continue.</p><p> </p><p>I attempted again to reskill and in 2017 started Nail Tech Cert III.  3 weeks into the course I lost my mum.  Truly devastating, my best friend and confidant.  I completed and received my Certificate, but I have been truly crushed, my grief overwhelmed me and made me, can only think of the word terrified.</p><p> </p><p>I have convinced myself that I am not good enough and that I have to do the training again,  in essence I need a qualified nail technician teacher to pass me all over again.   But I can't afford to pay for it all over again.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know where to go or what to do. </p><p> </p><p>Please help someone,  somewhere and somehow.</p><p> </p><p>Melissa</p><p><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":pensive_face:\">😔</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-held-back-by-fear-of-failure/td-p/567628" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Melissa, I'm so sorry with the loss of your dear mum, and when this happens it's not easy to overcome, especially after you have had three nervous breakdowns which can certainly stall everything you had intended to do.</p><p>As you already have the certificate, and although it was done in 2017, any further qualifications shouldn't be difficult to obtain, and I realise that within the past few years much may have changed within this industry, but it wouldn't take long for you to get this advanced qualification.</p><p>In Victoria there are courses that are free, and please don't feel as though you aren't good enough, of course you are, but just take it slowly, so please let me know where you are so I can then research for you.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member. </p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-held-back-by-fear-of-failure/td-p/567628" }, { "author": "user-id/44774", "content": "<p>Hello Geoff</p><p> </p><p>Thanks so much for your reply.   I am living in Orange, NSW.</p><p> </p><p>Melissa</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-held-back-by-fear-of-failure/td-p/567628" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>My greatest challenge is having the fear of not being able to cope with the day and getting so sick again, that I need to go back into a clinic. I suffered traumatic experiences whilst I was at the clinics and have to really work hard on being in the here and now and acknowledging how far I have actually come on my recovery journey.</p><p>What are your greatest challenges?</p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-is-your-greatest-challenge/td-p/567500" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>It's great that you can acknowledge how far you have come. It is easy when you start to feel a little bit down to think that you're starting right from the baseline again and nothing has gotten better.</p><p>How are you doing at the moment?</p><p> </p><p>My biggest fear is that my divorce after a 30 year marriage will trigger my anxiety. I have been diagnosed with GAD but have had it mostly under control for a while. There seems to be so many changes and challenges that need to happen to get out the other side and started on my new life that I wonder how I will go.</p><p> </p><p>Hope things go well for you.</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-is-your-greatest-challenge/td-p/567500" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Thanks for replying.</p><p>There are many triggers out there that can affect your mental health.</p><p>3yrs ago I would not be sitting at my computer typing this.</p><p>I have learnt to take each day at a time and try not to catastrophise about what is to come.</p><p>Years of mindfulness therapy has helped me try and tone down my negative thoughts, but it does take hard work to continue this focus.</p><p> </p><p>I wish you all the best with your new life and always remember you are not alone<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span> I'm here for a chat if you ever need one<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span></p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "10-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-is-your-greatest-challenge/td-p/567500" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>It good to hear you are making progress. <br>small steps are the way to go. <br>Acting rather than over thinking has helped me a lot.  The more I think about something the worse it gets. When I act it either works or I learn <span>something new about the problem. This moves me closer to a solution and I feel less trapped. <br><br></span></p><p><span>im doing really well considering.  I’m putting in a lot of effort learning new ideas and ways of looking at life. I’m making some really good connections with people going through similar situations. There are some very genuinely nice people out there.  <br>I have good days and bad but I don’t feel alone. <br><br></span></p><p><span>Hope you are doing great.  </span></p></div>", "date": "11-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/what-is-your-greatest-challenge/td-p/567500" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Working on plans can be a great therapy tool to promote hope and having a path you wish to walk.</p><p> </p><p>My plan is working towards stable mental health and having a better quality of life than I have now.</p><p> </p><p>This does include me taking everything one day at a time for the moment, but I am hopeful that when that time comes, I am feeling better about myself and quality of life.</p><p> </p><p>What do you think about planning for the foreseeable future?</p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-do-you-want-to-be-in-5-years-from-now/td-p/567496" }, { "author": "user-id/43202", "content": "<p>Gypsy what an interesting post</p><p>I have had so much change in past few years that planning ahead seems unhelpful to me as things see. To change so why plan.<br><br></p><p>That is me but I can see planning would help you and others.I take each day as it comes. </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-do-you-want-to-be-in-5-years-from-now/td-p/567496" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Thanks for your reply.</p><p>I too take each day as it comes but I definitely know that in 5yrs time I would like to have stable mental health.</p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be.</p></div>", "date": "10-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/where-do-you-want-to-be-in-5-years-from-now/td-p/567496" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/40520", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p>For background I suffer with really bad social anxiety and have never had friends or a social life. Recently i have been getting help and currently I’ve taken a dive in the deep end and started working at a ski resort which is about 16 hours away from my home town. I am in a shared accommodation so I am wayyy out of my comfort zone. I have arrived and it’s day 2 and I absolutely hate it I feel like crying. I want to go home basically. I don’t feel like I fit in and keep thinking this isn’t me why did I do this. I can’t make friends which makes it harder and everyone else seems to have made at least one friend. Help. </p></div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-out-of-place/td-p/567130" }, { "author": "user-id/35928", "content": "<p>Hi Matilda, </p><p>You are so super brave getting a job in a ski resort, living in shared accommodation and even living 16 hours from home. All with social anxiety. That is so so good you have done this. </p><p> </p><p>I also experience social anxiety so I can sort of relate.</p><p> </p><p>Its challenging to know what to say to people. And even how to say it. I often feel so awkward and want to hide somewhere. </p><p> </p><p>My sister has reminded me many times that when faced with new people it is good to remember that they themselves may be uncomfortable or awkward and maybe don't know what to say either. It helps I think to know this.</p><p>I think if I was in your situation I would make real sure I did my work really well. Take deep breathes when I feel in a panic, and make a goal to just say hello or even just smile at one person per day. Or more if you feel relaxed enough to do it. Just take baby steps. Though getting a job and everything is no baby step. You went all in, which is absolutely awesome. </p><p> </p><p>Also if you could focus on your surroundings , like feel the cold in the air, breathe in the fresh air. Notice any small thing around you. To help get your thoughts off your struggle there. </p><p> </p><p>It does sound like an adventure. </p><p> </p><p>Good on you for choosing to go out of your comfort zone</p><p>You got this. Just little by little</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-out-of-place/td-p/567130" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hi Matilda,</p><p> </p><p>I absolutely admire your bravery and courage. I'm sure not even you could believe you were doing it until you actually got there. Wow. That takes tremendous strength, it's inspiring tbh.</p><p> </p><p>I resonate with the feeling of \"out of place\", and even hating and wishing to leave things that aren't so horrible. It bothers me still, so you aren't alone. I think the out of place feeling comes from isolation, or more generally just being out of your comfort zone. Your mind literally can't believe you're there.</p><p> </p><p>Guest1055 has some incredible suggestions. I think if you could, take those in as deeply as you can.</p><p> </p><p>With how much I relate with your situation, and how I envy your bravery, I wish to reach you on a level I think I understand. You've already done the hardest part, you're there! You've met some of the people and are able to have small talk and you got through 2 days no problem, other then negative feelings building up in yourself. You've already broken the barrier that made it seem so impossible. You should be extremely proud of yourself! Would going home make you feel better? Potentially, but you'll be kicking yourself you escaped the most bravest thing you've ever done, and with how anxiety works, retreating from things often makes them worse.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully those words reached you positively. I also believe in time, you'll have made a friend, you'll have the feeling of belonging as well. It makes sense you'd feel so out of place, and you know what? I'm sure there's others with you feeling the very same. I'm sure the people there are eager to meet you, as Guest1055 put it, other people could be feeling awkward or nervous too.</p><p> </p><p>To relax, maybe try sone guided meditations? They can be helpful in a time of need.</p><p> </p><p>You'll be okay, try your best to stick it out. You're doing amazing. Hope everything improves. Proud of you!! </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-out-of-place/td-p/567130" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Matilda,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but it's important to remember that it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed, especially when stepping far out of your comfort zone. It's only day two, and feelings of discomfort and homesickness are very normal when entering a new environment. Try to remind yourself that it's okay to take some time to adjust. It's very early to be judging whether you fit in or not.</p><p> </p><p>Don't hurry up making friends, take care of yourself first, hysically and mentally. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, take time to relax. You can also practice mindfulness or meditation to help manage your anxiety. Establishing a daily routine can help bring some stability and familiarity, reducing the sense of everything being new and uncertain. This can be as simple as having a regular time for meals, exercise, or relaxation.</p><p> </p><p>Just because you're physically distant doesn't mean you have to be emotionally distant. Call or video chat with family back home when you're feeling lonely or anxious. They can provide a sense of familiarity and comfort.</p><p> </p><p>Don't pressure yourself to make friends quickly. Take small steps towards socialising, such as striking up a conversation with a co-worker, or attending social events and just listening to others. Over time, you will gradually feel more comfortable. A ski resort is full of activities, so try to find ones you enjoy. This can also be a good way to meet people who share your interests. Reward yourself for each small victory. Each conversation, each new experience is a step forward.</p><p> </p><p>If your anxiety continues to feel overwhelming, it might be a good idea to talk to a mental health professional. Many offer online sessions, so you could even continue working with someone from your home town. You can also ring BeyondBlue 24/7 hotline to get some professional advice.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, it's okay to not feel okay right now. Change is hard, but it also brings growth. Be patient with yourself, and take it one day at a time.</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "10-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-out-of-place/td-p/567130" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47682", "content": "<p>I've searched 'emotional and cry easily' read a few posts on the forum but still have my own questions.</p><p> </p><p>Why am I so sensitive and why do I cry so easily.</p><p>Happy, sad it doesn't matter.</p><p>Its driving me insane! </p><p>I dont want to waste GPs time but is it something i should see a dr about?</p><p> </p><p>Im stepping up into a team leader roll at work soon and I can't be highly emotional <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":pensive_face:\">😔</span></p><p> </p><p>I do have unmedicated mental health issues. Along my journey I've been told I have Anxiety more so social anxiety and still don't think I've delt with the loss of my father which was just shy of 9 years ago.</p><p>I've tried medication but i just cant do it i cant stand the 'high' feeling so flying solo. There's been many ups and downs but made changes and I think I'm doing OK.... I'm not a sad person and I don't understand why I'm crying half the time</p><p>Can anyone relate</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/emotional-and-cry-easily/td-p/566953" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome </p><p> </p><p>Yes, I relate. Up to 53yo, 14 years ago, I think I cried my way through life. I didn't understand  it. I was diagnosed with several mental ollnesses on of which is dysthymia. Google- \"beyondblue dysthymia\".</p><p>We cannot of course diagnose but I've found that apart from dysthymia there is also HSP. Highly sensitive person can effect up to 20% of people.</p><p> </p><p>So these fact plus any other reasons lead me to encourage you to visit your GP as your first step.</p><p> </p><p>Since diagnosis I've embraced my illness and that sensitivity allows me to do my writings, poetry etc so please don't view your sensitivity as all bad.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK </p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/emotional-and-cry-easily/td-p/566953" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi TealGem</p><p> </p><p>I always deeply appreciate anyone who seeks to know themself on a deeper level.  I've come to learn over the years 'Why do I tick the way I do?' is often a far more productive mantra than 'What's wrong with me?'. As Tony mentions, there's nothing wrong with being a highly sensitive person but there <em>are</em> definitely quite a number of challenges to it.</p><p> </p><p>Being a highly sensitive gal, my mum actually asked me the other day 'What has happened to you? You've become so sensitive over the years. You never used to be like this'. At 52, I've simply come to feel more deeply over time. I feel for others deeply and for myself at times. If I have a strong enough connection to someone or something, I will feel for <em>them</em> or <em>it</em> on a level that overwhelms me and brings me to tears at times. While I think about a funeral I'll be attending next Friday, it fills me with dread when I think about how I'm going to manage not sobbing and upsetting others. I just don't want to make that day harder for others, harder than it will already be for them. My 20yo daughter's boyfriend of a year and a half is someone I love deeply. His father died suddenly last week, at the age of 50. I have cried for her boyfriend so many times over the last week and for his siblings and especially his mum who is a beautiful person, so beautiful. I feel for <em>you</em> so deeply as you continue to struggle with the pain of losing <em>your</em> dad. It's such a cruel and heartbreaking pain. A heartfelt hug to you, TealGem.</p><p> </p><p>I like to look at sensitivity as 'the ability to sense'. So, if you can sense other people's pure pain, their pure joy, their pure sense of dread or stress etc, it <em>can</em> get overwhelming. Btw, social situations can definitely become challenging for a HSP for so many reasons. If sensitive to sound (which is technically a form of energy), you can <em>feel</em> what that energy can do to you at times (the volume/amount of it), such as in an environment with loud music, people yelling over that music and over each other. If the base is thumping through the floor, can feel that too. The environment can have a really thick and almost suffocating feel to it. To add to it, if you're a <em>major</em> feeler, you can feel the self righteousness nature of others, who's judging/sizing you up, the <em>developing</em> lack of self control in those who are drinking and so much more. Happily, you can also feel every single truly natural and relaxing person you come across, those who put you at ease. </p><p> </p><p>A strange way to look at it perhaps but imagine suddenly developing a 'Super power' such as the ability to <em>feel</em> just about everything (your own nervous system included). How would you manage It? I've found the best way comes down to talking to others who have learned or are gradually learning. I've found that being highly sensitive to that which can be <em>felt</em> as depressing is one of the greatest challenges of all. It is always my mission to get to the bottom of what's causing those feelings, so as to <em>not</em> get to the rock bottom of a depression (a place that can feel like hell on earth).</p><p> </p><p>Of course, a great team leader is one who can <em>feel</em> compassion through connection, can <em>feel</em> what inspiration feels like, can <em>feel</em> the needs of others and the best direction and so much more. The ability to emotionally detach, in favour of pure analysis, can be one of the challenges of such a great leader and feeler. How to stop feeling at the right times is a liberating skill.</p></div>", "date": "03-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/emotional-and-cry-easily/td-p/566953" }, { "author": "user-id/47776", "content": "<p>Hi TealGem, Congratulations on the Team Leader role.</p><p>There's nothing wrong with going to see the GP if you are worried. If you have a good GP then they'll listen and take you seriously. Even if they say its nothing, they might be able to help you find some strategies to manage it</p><p>There's also nothing wrong with being a bit more emotional if that is normal for you!  I have friends who cry really easily - and cry at weddings because they are happy - and I don't really understand it, but that's normal for them.  If, all of a sudden they stopped responding like that then it would be a worry.  For me, it is the opposite.  I'm not a crier normally - and often become the shoulder for others.  But it means that when I'm crying at the drop of a hat, that is a bad sign, and actually kind of scary because its out of character.</p><p>If your emotional response doesn't interfere with your ability to do your job or otherwise enjoy life then it may not be anything serious.  </p><p>But, if it is causing you to worry, ask your GP. </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/emotional-and-cry-easily/td-p/566953" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>\" Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.\" <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/friday-wisdom/td-p/567497" }, { "author": "user-id/19477", "content": "<p>\"It is important that you get clear for yourself that your only access to impacting life is action. The world does not care what you intend, how committed you are, how you feel or what you think, and certainly it has no interest in what you want and don't want. Take a look at life as it is lived and see for yourself that the world only moves for you when you act.\"</p><p> </p><p>I picked this quote up somewhere. I find it handy when I start to overthink.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/friday-wisdom/td-p/567497" }, { "author": "user-id/27374", "content": "<p>Thanks for sharing that Dean07, that’s a hard one to digest but true</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/friday-wisdom/td-p/567497" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/4229", "content": "<p>I'm a bit lost at the moment. I suffer from anxiety and depression from my previous job. I thought changing jobs would help but my current job is no better. My manager is not supportive and boarder line bullies me. This has lead to my mental health spiraling down. My parents are wanting me to quit my job and I do have some savings but I am concerned that I will never find another job again or it will look back on my resume. I'm at a lost as to what to do.</p></div>", "date": "23-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Due to mania and bipolar etc I've had approx 90 jobs ad 15 professions. Although I had many references from bosses there were many bosses that I clashed with for whatever reason. So I removed that job from my resume and told a white lie, that I was overseas or on an extended holiday. The way the world operates dont feel guilty because it might not be your fault your bosses are targetting you.</p><p> </p><p>Many years ago I acknowledged that I was reactive around people so I decided to seek out a profession that allowed me to work alone, that wasnt easy but eventually I returned to an old profession is investigations running my own business. There are some others like contract cleaner working late at night or truck driver etc. Sure you are still communicating with others but usually on the phone. So this might need lots of thought.</p><p> </p><p>As you have savings I would not risk your mental state any further and applaud your parents for caring for you. As a last effort I'd ask for a meting with your current boss and explain you have your health issues and would like to know how you can improve so he/she has not work issues with you. He might just realise they have been irrational or too firm. If that doesnt go well you can make your decision then.</p><p> </p><p>I hope I've helped. Repost anytime</p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "23-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" }, { "author": "user-id/44061", "content": "<p>Hi Bell81, I think if it feels like it is an unhealthy workplace it's certainly not worth staying in fear of not finding another job or looking bad on your resume. When you already have already suffered anxiety and depression from your previous work place it is certainly important to find a work place that nurtures and is supportive of you. Nothing is worth your mental health, no job, no person or no place.</p><p>  </p></div>", "date": "23-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I know the feeling , I’m returning to work soon from workplace bullying and it’s quite a lot I’m much like u why am I returning?  Do what’s best 4 u if it’s leaving do it . Unfortunately for me it’s more financially viable for me to stay put for the moment until a better offer comes along ( if u have evidence of workplace bullying go to work safe lodge a report they can help u  although it is a hard road ) </p></div>", "date": "24-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" }, { "author": "user-id/40325", "content": "<p>Hello there, sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit lost right now. I too suffer from anxiety and at times depression. I was in a workplace that had bullying and I contacted EAP for counselling - Employee Assistance Programs which was offered through the workplace. Basically, my options were: </p><p>1. Leave the situaion</p><p>2. Stay and change what can be changed - E.g. Talk to HR or speak to Manager) or change my reaction to it. </p><p>3. Stay and accept what can't be changed</p><p>4. Stay and rely on (unhelpful) emotional control strategies </p><p> </p><p>I ended up leaving the situation and getting help dealing with anxiety and depression from a professional. It sounds like you have supportive parents and it's great you have safety net of savings. I don't think it will look bad on your resume if you took a break from work. Some people take long breaks to do travel or study. Maybe you could contact a career counsellor out there who also help with anxiety and depression? I hope you feel better soon. </p></div>", "date": "30-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" }, { "author": "user-id/4229", "content": "<ol><li>Thank you all for your replies. It's great to know White Knight that you can leave jobs without it being the end of the world. It is nice to have input from people who know what you are going through. I ended up quitting my job, last day today. The relief was immense  to know that I would be leaving although the anxiety and fear of never getting another job has been difficult to deal with. I am looking forward to having a break and focusing on my mental health before jumping back into looking for employment and finding a nice workplace.</li></ol></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-is-taking-over/td-p/563959" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hello Everyone,</p><p> </p><p>I find that listening to music when I drive is very therapeutic.</p><p> </p><p>Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not a huge listener of the radio but have digitalised my favourite music into different USB sticks</p><p>and play them all the time. I have a Live Concert stick, Different bands stick and a 1970's to 2000 stick.</p><p> </p><p>The music has a calming effect and I couldn't imagine driving without it.</p><p> </p><p>It is up very loud and I sing very loud and don't mind other drivers seeing that.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/music-as-a-therapy/td-p/567300" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi GypsyAvalon,</p><p> </p><p>Yes absolutely music is a therapy. They actually have trained music therapists specifically for that reason. What I listen to depends on my mood. But if I am in a state of panic or anxiety I tend to listen to breathing exercises or the sound of rain/thunder/crickets. I use the calm app for that. </p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "08-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/music-as-a-therapy/td-p/567300" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hi Bob,</p><p> </p><p>Its great you can use music as a therapy.</p><p>My mood also depends on what music I listen too.</p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be.</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/music-as-a-therapy/td-p/567300" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47024", "content": "<p>At the moment I’m very unwell. I suffer from low iron and right now it’s probably the worst it’s ever been. But nobody cares. Everything is so exhausting and I feel dizzy and like passing out all the time. Sometimes I can’t stop shaking and I start breathing heavy. I work full time and just doing that alone is so hard. But nobody cares. Everyone is still mad at me because I’m not doing good enough. I try and organise dinners I do all the grocery shopping. I do all the washing and I try and clean regularly. But it’s not good enough. Being sick is just and excuse apparently so nobody cares. I should just try harder. I’m so tired of everything but that’s not allowed. I just need to do better. I just need to fix everyone else’s problems while mine don’t matter. It’s not fair. </p></div>", "date": "21-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/27374", "content": "<p>Hi teeBee,</p><p> </p><p>Right away, somebody cares.</p><p><br>Take a minute to sit down and breathe, you are doing more than enough.  You don’t need to do more nor do you need to add more weight to what you are already carrying.</p><p> </p><p>No it’s not fair, so give yourself some time and space as you deserve it!</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "21-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hello TeaBee,</p><p> </p><p>That sounds truly awful and I have no idea how you're doing so much with so little energy. I admire your willpower and sheer strength.</p><p> </p><p>I assure you the people around you do care, and are probably really concerned with what you're going through.</p><p> </p><p>Have you visited your doctor about this issue? Are you on any supplements or trying to intake more iron via foods?</p><p> </p><p>What you're dealing with sounds unbearable and I'm really impressed with all that you're doing despite how you're feeling. </p><p> </p><p>You're going above and beyond, and it is good enough. If possible try not to push yourself so hard.</p><p> </p><p>Feel better <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "21-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>TeaBee,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your experience here, I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling like this. I too have long struggled with low iron and subsequent fatigue, and the fact that you're still doing so much throughout your days is very impressive to me. It feels so overwhelming sometimes, it doesn't feel like I have the energy to do anything.</p><p> </p><p>Sharing my experience here, one of the best things I did for my low iron was to try iron tablets. I had some trouble with the first ones I tried, but I got a prescription for a different type and they work a treat if I take them daily. I'd highly recommend speaking to your GP about your concerns with low iron, exhaustion and dizziness, and they can talk through some solutions with you. I know several people who have also had iron infusions, and they said these have helped too. Personally, I'm afraid of needles, so this is a last resort option for me. Once again, this is something to discuss with your GP.</p><p> </p><p>It's never selfish to look out for your needs and set healthy boundaries. It's important to look after yourself, and if you've been feeling like this for a while, it may also be your body's way of asking you for help. I've learnt to listen to these instincts, they're often meaningful.</p><p> </p><p>Take care, and please let us know how you go.</p><p> </p><p>SB</p></div>", "date": "21-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>HI teaBee</p><p> </p><p>I bet if you had someone in your work life or home life who could relate to what low iron levels feel like, they wouldn't be saying 'Try harder'. They'd most likely be saying 'How horrible is it?! It's shocking'. Because no one in your life can relate, they just don't get how hard it is to function in everyday life.</p><p> </p><p>Personally I've never suffered with low iron levels but I can relate to B12 deficiency at depressing and seriously fatiguing levels. I get a few B12 injections a year, to keep my levels up, and can't function without them. While we can <em>physically</em> push through debilitating deficiencies, the side effects of such deficiencies on our <em>mental</em> health are a whole other factor. Both low iron and low B12 levels can be linked to depression and anxiety. While there are certain chemical processes that are attributed to good mental health, when the processes aren't happening to the degree they need to be happening, things can become pretty dark.</p><p> </p><p>One of the things that led me to become one of those mind/body/soul gals is recognition of the fact we can experience a depression based on <em>physical</em> (chemical/biological) influences, <em>mental </em>influences (people bringing us down and/or tormenting inner dialogue etc) and <em>natural</em> influences (such as a depressing lack of inspiration or a lack of <em>feeling</em> some sort of connection to life). Of course, all 3 can be happening at once sometimes. While I'm a bit of a romantic in the way I see life in a soulful kind of way, I'm also someone who sees myself as a big fleshy container of chemical reactions. All the right ones have to be happening for me to be able to <em>feel</em> them. The side effects of all the right ones happening can <em>feel</em> like energy, joy, satisfaction, enthusiasm etc. Get those iron levels up so you can feel the difference. Not sure if your GP's done blood tests or you're sensing an iron deficiency based on past experience. If your GP's done all the tests and has decided on no need for an infusion, I hope they've sent you away with a really solid plan for diet and/or supplementation. To be sent home with no solid plan is just not good enough. You could label this as being sent home to suffer through what you're struggling to tolerate. Don't wait until things become completely intolerable.</p></div>", "date": "22-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry to hear you are going through this. As someone with a chronic illness, i can understand this completely. My illness is in remission, but there have been times when i have felt unwell, fatigued, and exhausted and still had to carry on with life. It is exhausting and burns you out. One thing i have also struggled with aside from my illness is incredibly low iron, my doctor was shocked it was so low. The funny thing is, I thought I was fine, I just went in for a routine blood test and it turns out my iron was in the anemic range. I had an iron infusion and that helped me a lot. Is this something you would be open to?</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, low iron sucks, and I think i was so used to be in a state of tiredness and fatigue that i just didn't notice i had any symptoms. I was surprised to hear i had such low iron, because i felt fine. but since my infusion, i have felt SO much better. i hope you can sort it soon <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p><p> </p><p>another thing i have learnt about the world in my chronic illness journey (and my sister's who has the same illness as me), is that the world is ableist. it's not built for anyone that isn't healthy. every day, people with invisible illnesses and conditions go to work exhausted and unwell because they have no sick days left to use, people judge them for staying home all the time, they get a label as the ''sick one'' and some illnesses are embarrassing to admit, so people would rather come to work unwell than be honest with their employer. Similarly, people who are healthy won't understand how it feels to be chronically exhausted and tired, some try, but it's impossible to understand unless you've experienced it. EVERYTHING feels like a chore and requires an extra 20% effort from us than a person who is healthy. it sounds to me that you're doing THE MOST - i mean managing your health, working full time, and managing the household is a lot, and it sounds like you have more than enough on your plate. if i was you, i would explain to your family what's going on and that you would like so more help around the house. people are selfish sometimes, so maybe sharing your perspective might help them to come around. you are doing enough, don't listen to them. </p><p> </p><p>i hope things improve soon,</p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "22-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/47024", "content": "<p>I’ve been a bit unwell for a while and today I just feel like I’ve finally run out of everything. No energy, no joy, just nothing. Oh except my anxiety and insecurities seem to have more energy than ever. Constantly on edge and I feel like everything is wrong and something bad will happen and all the good things are going to end. Reading it now it’s stupid and I know that when I think it but I can’t stop. I don’t even have the energy to cry. I’ve just got nothing left. </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>teaBee,</p><p> </p><p>it is very hard and isolating to go through this. you are not alone, though, just look at all the supportive comments on this thread for you! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>have you considered seeing a professional about these thoughts? especially if you realise they are irrational, but still have them. it might be worth considering.</p><p> </p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/42114", "content": "<p>Hi teaBee,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. Have you been able to get some treatment for low iron?</p><p> </p><p>I've had anemia a couple of times and it is awful when levels are low, I remember feeling very weak. Rest is important and it could be good to see your gp.</p><p> </p><p>Is there a trusted friend or relative you could reach out to?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gloria10 </p></div>", "date": "03-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" }, { "author": "user-id/18732", "content": "<p>Thats the thing about being ill when others cant see it. It’s unfair. Im not really well enough atm to give advice but If i can recommend a book called ‘Extreme Self Care’ by Cheryl Richardson. Its worth a look for in the library.</p></div>", "date": "08-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/it-s-never-fair/td-p/565974" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47686", "content": "<p>Mental Health and Psychiatric Ward</p>\n\n<p>Hi there. Recently I started to hear voices, for so many reasons. And I know how it started, but don't want to blame anyone. Apart from this I also have a addiction problem. For which I am already doing a program called Opioid Replacement Treatment. But because of hearing voices, I might have to go to hospital if needed. I am just worried at the moment, I am managing it with quite a okay. If I go into the hospital, and they lock me up in a seculsion ward and something. If I am having a episode, and they can't understand. Or they just do it, if I tell them. This is happening will they give me something to settle down. And not feeling the pain. As I said I have a physical pain in the body too, plus I am a upper limb amputee. What I can do in that kind of situation. I am very compliance person. I don't have a problem with following instructions. All I can bear is a pain. And as a public hospital they should have all my details. So they don't stop any of my medication. I am already taking. Because there are so many people upset with me. They just don't like me at all. And can I tell them what my triggers are so that, they can help me with that too. I actually did send a email to MHRT, for which people have already been so upset with me. Thanks</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/sometimes-hearing-voices-if-triggered/td-p/567259" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hi Sandy,</p><p> </p><p>I'm in no way qualified to comment on your situation and your struggles, but my understanding is hearing voices in your head doesn't immediately warrant you to be locked up in a psyche ward, I believe that's a place for people who cannot help themselves, whereas you seem to be living a life despite your problems.</p><p> </p><p>I 100% recommend you to seek out any help you believe you need. These people would be professionals who only want what's best for you, and could really change your life for the better.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry for all you're going through, stay strong. You'll get through this and be all the better for it <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/sometimes-hearing-voices-if-triggered/td-p/567259" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Sandym0,</p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.<br>I'm so sorry for your challenge, and I can tell it must be very hard for you.</p><p> </p><p>It's good that you're on treatment plans. Make sure you discuss your situation- the voices you're hearing with your treatment team. They can provide guidance and assess whether any adjustments to your treatment plan are necessary. It will also be helpful to ring BeyondBlue hotline 24/7 for more guidance and resources.</p><p> </p><p>If you feel that you're in immediate danger to yourself or others, don't hesitate to contact emergency services or go to the nearest hospital. They can assess your situation and provide appropriate care.</p><p> </p><p>In addition, you do need a support network. Try to reach out to trusted friends, family, or support groups who can provide emotional support during this time. Having a strong support system can make a difference in your journey towards recovery.</p><p> </p><p>Hope everything will be better.<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "08-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/sometimes-hearing-voices-if-triggered/td-p/567259" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47765", "content": "<p>Hi i am Amirali and maybe i can help you for your anixity.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-i-am-amirali-and-maybe-i-can-help-you-for-your-anixity/td-p/567330" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Amirali~</p><p>Welcome here to the Forum and thank you for your offer to help. Would you like to say a little more about yourself and your experiences with anxiety? I find it always helps when talking to others as one can find common ground</p><p> </p><p>Croix.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hi-i-am-amirali-and-maybe-i-can-help-you-for-your-anixity/td-p/567330" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hello Everybody, </p><p>Just wondering if anyone has trouble managing their anxiety in the morning.</p><p>As soon as I wake up and my brain kicks into gear, I find my anxiety is at it's worse. I have the fear of not being able to cope with the day.</p><p>I usually spray lavender oil on my pillow case and do deep breathing to calm down but it doesn't work all the time.</p><p>It starts at about 6am every morning.</p><p>Do any members have some tips or suggestions to help me manage it better?</p><p>Thanking you. </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Thank you for your reply.</p><p>I love that mindset of changing the perspective and focusing on what <strong>I can do</strong> rather than be afraid that I can't because of my anxiety. I will put this into practice and see how I go.</p><p>Blessed Be.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hello Everybody, </p><p>Just wondering if anyone has trouble managing their anxiety in the morning.</p><p>As soon as I wake up and my brain kicks into gear, I find my anxiety is at it's worse. I have the fear of not being able to cope with the day.</p><p>I usually spray lavender oil on my pillow case and do deep breathing to calm down but it doesn't work all the time.</p><p>It starts at about 6am every morning.</p><p>Do any members have some tips or suggestions to help me manage it better?</p><p>Thanking you. </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/44061", "content": "<p>Hi GypsyAvalon,</p><p> </p><p>I can absolutely relate to this one myself and I think some people more than others do experience anxiety earlier of an morning than throughout the day. There is a neurochemistry explanation for it too. I find deep breathing the most effective for me, however do you find that there are specific things your worrying about when you wake up?</p><p>It can be helpful to write certain worries you have going on down in a journal before going to bed. Sometimes all your anxiety wants to do is be heard so if you can get your thoughts down onto paper it can help it not come about the next morning! Just an idea <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hi Fern42</p><p>Thank you for your reply.</p><p>I have the fear in the morning of not being able to cope with the day and also the fear of getting so sick again that I need to go to a clinic or hospital. Unfortunately, when I was in the clinics, I was terribly traumatised by the treatment they gave me. Electric shock treatment and TMS. None of it worked.</p><p>I'm not a writer so journally is not for me.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/44061", "content": "<p>Carrying that worry sounds very stressful in itself. Have you considered talk therapy with a private counsellor/psychologist rather than a hospital? That is fair enough, journaling is not for everyone.</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/47334", "content": "<p>Hi GypsyAvalon,</p><p> </p><p>This problem is something I can completely relate to. It’s frustrating and it just worsens my day from the very beginning. Something that helps me is to just take a minute to think about what I know is going to happen throughout the day that will change my mood for the better. </p><p> </p><p>e.g I am a student and as soon as I wake up, everything overwhelms me and it just all becomes too much. So, I sit up on my bed and take a deep breath before thinking about what I know will make me happy later on. This could be simply seeing my friends or buying good food. </p><p> </p><p>Grounding myself tends to ease the overwhelming feeling that sends me into a complete catastrophe,</p><p>yours_truly</p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/42114", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>I can understand this. Not so much when I'm just at home for the day, but when I work.</p><p> </p><p>It's great that you are doing deep breathing; I get it can be difficult when anxious. </p><p> </p><p>I've found giving myself a bit more time to wake up helps, rather than rushing straight away. Avoiding coffee till I calm more. I also break up the day, something someone else told me. Even if it's starting with getting out of bed, having breakfast or small tasks at a time.</p><p> </p><p>Planning something enjoyable helps too, like having a special lunch or watching a show I like.</p><p> </p><p>I hope it improves for you. </p><p> </p><p>Gloria10</p></div>", "date": "03-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/47707", "content": "<p>I can relate to this also. Some days worse than others. I recently came across some words that help change my perspective from fearing the unknown, overthinking, over planning, thinking I wasn’t going to cope/manage and fail….. to focusing on what I can do/what I can achieve….. e.g. to do lists: clean room - I CAN clean one corner, shower - I CAN wash my face, wash dishes - I CAN clean 1plate and fav mug….. etc</p><p>Acknowledging my anxiety rather than hiding it has also helped lifting the shame from my load, have a list to help organise and focus on what I CAN do. But mostly just keep on trying xo</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hi Fern42</p><p>I have a new psychologist and we are starting to work through it all. </p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Thank you for your reply.</p><p>I do deep breathing in the morning including using lavender oil on my pillow case. </p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Thank you for your reply.</p><p>I like the idea of giving myself a bit more time to wake up and get out of bed.</p><p>I will put that into practice.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/morning-anxiety/td-p/566569" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47712", "content": "<p>Hi all - I cannot afford therapy and need somewhere to air out my feelings and circumstances.</p><p> </p><p>I've suffered from social anxiety quite severely since I was a teenager. It's only in the past few years that it's gotten in the way of work, friendships and relationships.</p><p> </p><p>I'm currently in a fresh relationship (7 months in roughly) with an absolute angel of a person. For such a young relationship, he has had to deal with my alcohol dependency (because of anxiety), my extreme mood swings and general depression. I've left 3 amazing jobs since the start of the year due to not being able to function in a normal social setting. Hell, I can't even go into a shopping centre without almost having a panic attack. Anyway, the main reason I'm here is because my partner has quite simply had enough of me, and told me that I've \"broken him\". He had a spout of anger this morning and punched one of his computer monitors, which was awful to see because he is not an angry person... but I managed to bring it out of him with the way I've been towards him. My anxiety has also led to paranoia, for example, I assume the absolute worst of him and accuse him of things he hasn't and would never do. Due to lack of work, he has been supporting me a lot financially too and he's beginning to struggle. He also caught me hiding alcohol from him after I said I had quit... which really hurt him because of the fact I lied.</p><p> </p><p>What I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to do. I do currently have a job but I've called in sick because of anxiety 3 times over the 3 weeks I've been employed there and I don't know how much longer they're going to tolerate that. I would absolutely appreciate any advice! I need to get my life in order and stop worrying about what other people think of me in social settings and learn to relax... I just don't know how. I can't keep relying on alcohol. The most frustrating thing is that by nature I'm very bubbly and confident, but I'm losing myself.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you in advance to anyone who responds and I hope you're having a wonderful day. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":green_heart:\">💚</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/rock-bottom/td-p/567111" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing and the impact it's having on your relationships and overall well-being. It takes a lot of courage to open up and seek support, so kudos to you for reaching out.</p><p> </p><p>While therapy might not be accessible to you at the moment, there are still some avenues you can explore. One option is to seek out support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have similar experiences. Sharing your feelings and circumstances in a supportive environment can provide a sense of relief and understanding.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe there are some self-help resources? Like books, podcasts, or online articles that offer practical techniques for managing anxiety. Learning about relaxation exercises, mindfulness, and cognitive-behavioral strategies could potentially be helpful in your journey towards overcoming social anxiety. See also...</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety</a></p><p> </p><p>Does your partner know about your social anxiety?</p><p> </p><p>If not ... having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your struggles can go a long way in strengthening your relationship. Perhaps you can work together to find ways to support each other and establish healthy boundaries.</p><p> </p><p>Remember, progress takes time, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this challenging path. Focus on small steps forward, celebrate your victories, and seek professional help as soon as it becomes feasible.</p><p> </p><p>Wishing you all the best. Take care of yourself, and remember to be gentle with yourself during this process.</p></div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/rock-bottom/td-p/567111" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>I used to numb my anxiety with alcohol. I tried using alcohol to get to sleep. But it became addictive. It sounds like you suffer from alcoholism. I found it hard to accept. It was the way I was taught as a youngster to deal with emotional upset, social anxiety, disappointment, etc. But it's not the only way. I ended up going to AA for months to sort myself out.</p><p>I liken it to getting the flu. You don't apologise for it. It just happens. Sometimes in life, circumstances overwhelm us and we resort to something to help us. The problem with alcohol is that it turns you inward looking. It isolates you from the support that you need. Once i got better, i started repairing my relationships with my parents, who could then provide further support. Many people don't understand that it's not your fault. Sometimes we catch this \"social cold\" which if not treated can develop into a more serious problem,alcoholism.</p><p>It takes a lot of courage, because there's a bit of shame associated with it. I found once i sobered up I shared more with my parents and this in turn rebuilt the trust. But first you've got to seek help. I would suggest AA or the Big Blue Book if you can find it.</p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/rock-bottom/td-p/567111" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Kfox</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you as you struggle with such a stressful and upsetting set of challenges, something you can really feel so deeply in so many different ways.</p><p> </p><p>I can relate to alcohol as being an emotional regulator, as I drank my way through long term depression to some degree in my earlier years. While I still face occasional periods in depression, something I've learned over time involves <em>the need</em> to really feel my emotions, including the incredibly tough ones. Every emotion is telling, so it's a matter of figuring out what each one is telling me at every given time. From depressing levels of heartache or questionable feelings of anger through to overwhelming and literally breathtaking levels of hyperactivity in my body (anxiety attacks), I've come to learn a lot about myself. If I had have drank these feelings away, I would never have come to understand why they're there, what triggers them and I would never have been forced in some way to develop skills in managing them. I really do understand the alcohol factor and how it can offer much needed relief but I found, for me,  it got in the way of greater self understanding and skill development.</p><p> </p><p>Socialising is skillful, <em>especially</em> for highly sensitive people. I'm a sensitive gal myself. Large social functions and shopping centres can resemble a form of torture when you can <em>feel</em> sound. It can become overwhelming. Meeting strangers can also resemble a form of torture when you can <em>feel</em> where your self esteem's at (when it's at an all time low). Destructive depressing inner dialogue before, during and after a social situation is also something that can be <em>felt</em>. Stuff like 'You're hopeless at meeting people. You're going to say something stupid or sit there saying nothing, looking like an idiot. You're going to look dysfunctional if you don't <em>appear</em> as happy as everyone else. You're just going to bring everyone down'. Such inner dialogue becomes brutal <em>and</em> exhausting. If you can <em>feel</em> yourself being judged by people you meet, that can be another factor to manage. To simply say I have social anxiety is too much of a generalisation. On the other hand, to say I need skills in 1) managing how I feel sound, 2) how I relate to my self (where my self esteem's at), 3) how I manage/manipulate my inner dialogue and my fears, 4) how I sense other people's judgement and 5) how I manipulate my own nervous system etc, points to the need for greater self understanding in so many areas. I need to fully understand how I work on a number of levels.</p><p> </p><p>Someone once said to me something along the lines of 'If you imagine your life is not linear but instead appears as a huge net (with a network of intersecting points), it becomes about 'networking' or working the net. You can <em>feel</em> when you're at an intersecting point. When you <em>feel</em> you can't keep going the same way, when you <em>feel</em> there is no choice but to change, when you <em>feel</em> the pain of the path you're on etc etc, you know you're at a significant turning point'.</p><p> </p><p>With each turning point, we change.</p><p> </p><p><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "07-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/rock-bottom/td-p/567111" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/9554", "content": "<p>Hi there </p>\n<p>Im currently struggling with insomnia for 8 days now with only achieving 2 hrs, if I’m lucky, each night. <br>\nMy biggest issue is, I feel the sleep coming on but my anxiety kicks in and blocks that sleep from occurring. <br>\nI feel as though I’m in a battle every night to the point I’m not functioning at all. <br>\nI don’t like taking any medication because my anxiety goes into overdrive with any possible side effects. <br>\nI’ve been taking rescue remedy, putting some lavender oil on, valerian, doing meditation and exercising but I’m at the point of having a complete breakdown as I feel defeated in managing this. </p></div>", "date": "30-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/17840", "content": "<p>Hi Rayvan,</p>\n<p>Welcome to the forums! I'm so glad you came here for help, and so sorry to hear that you're struggling with bad insomnia. All of the steps you say you've been taking sound very sensible and healthy, and it's completely understandable why you are reluctant to take medication.</p>\n<p>There are a few other things I might recommend– reading until you fall asleep, listening to something engaging so you don't have to be alone with your anxious thoughts, making your room a bit cooler and your bed a bit warmer/more comfortable, avoiding screens and blue light. But 8 days is a long time to go with so little sleep, and as I'm sure you know it can quickly start to take its own toll on your physical and mental health.</p>\n<p>I think given how diligent it sounds like you are being, and that you are at the end of your rope, it is perfectly justifiable to start looking at other options. As you say, you feel you are at the point of having a complete breakdown. Might it make sense to talk to your GP? There are likely a variety of things they can prescribe even for just a short while, to help you manage your anxiety or help you get better sleep. What do you think?</p>\n<p>Warmly,</p>\n<p>Gems</p></div>", "date": "30-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/9554", "content": "<p>Hi Gems </p>\n<p>I really appreciate your response. I actually never considered listening to engaging music. So thank you. <br>\nI have seen my GP twice and he’s has advised to take restavit. <br>\nI’m a anxious about taking this as I fear my anxiety will be stronger then the what the medication is intended to do. But I get extremely overwhelmed and cry when the sleep thing doesn’t happen so maybe it’s worth just giving that a go. <br>\n<br>\n</p></div>", "date": "30-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/41557", "content": "<p>Hi Rayvan, </p>\n<p>Like you, I'm quite wary of medications. I've never taken prescribed anxiety meds because I was concerned about potential long-term dependence. </p>\n<p>You've been without sleep for quite some time, so using the meds temporarily could help you safeguard your physical health. But I don't think that would be the long-term solution. Have you tried establishing a pre-sleep routine? You have mentioned doing yoga and exercising, using lavender etc. Perhaps incorporate some of this as part of a pre-sleep routine that will calm you right before you sleep (e.g. do 15 minutes of yoga, followed by maybe 5 minutes of quick meditation, then putting lavender oil on and finally sleeping)? The routine is up to you to establish, but the idea is for you to relax yourself enough to sleep. </p>\n<p>Hope this helps. </p>\n<p>Take care,<br>\nEmmen</p></div>", "date": "30-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/9554", "content": "<p>Thank you Emmen</p>\n<p>A pre-sleep routine is a great idea. I used to do yoga a few weeks before covid and found that I had very good sleeps. <br>\nDuring these times though, when not functioning very well, feeling unmotivated and upset, I forgot about those experiences. </p>\n<p>Thanks for your suggestions that triggered those memories. </p>\n<p>Ray</p></div>", "date": "30-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/17840", "content": "<p>Rayvan,</p>\n<p>Listening to music (especially something soothing) at night is great. However, I sometimes find it's not quite stimulating enough to distract me, so over the past few years I've gotten really into podcasts and audiobooks. Most phones now have a sleep timer feature so you can set it to shut off after a while. I usually find that thinking about whatever the spoken word content is helps me make the transition from wakefulness to sleep without giving me time to let my mind wander.</p>\n<p>If you're interested I have loads of recommendations. It's very silly and I've recommended it elsewhere, but when I really can't sleep my go-to podcast is one called Sleep With Me where a guy with a very boring voice reads a story that is just stimulating enough to listen to, but so boring that you will drift off to sleep. Could be worth a try! </p>\n<p>Gems</p></div>", "date": "01-05-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/13101", "content": "<p>Hi Guys,</p>\n<p>I thought I'd try and get some traction on this forum, as what anxiety does to our sleep hygiene being a national issue.</p>\n<p>I only recently mended my over 10 year sleep problem, that anxiety effected. </p>\n<p>I improved my sleep with a medication review firstly (please consult your GP or health professional if you have any questions), secondly I bought a new mattress and thirdy I started watching slow TV on YouTube before I went to bed. All three new changes, helped me get a consistent nights sleep.</p>\n<p>Please share what you've done to eradicate your anxiety to get consistent nights sleep.</p>\n<p>Regards,</p>\n<p>Doz</p></div>", "date": "24-05-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/17840", "content": "<p>Doz,</p>\n<p>Thanks so much for bumping this thread. I love your suggestions (slow TV, so soothing!) and would enjoy hearing others' as well. Rayvan, I wonder if you've had any luck getting some sleep?</p>\n<p>Gems</p></div>", "date": "28-05-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" }, { "author": "user-id/47742", "content": "<p>Try Restavit. It's over the counter, works well against anxiety and insomnia.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-sleep/td-p/442864" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47714", "content": "<p>I work in a dead end job that’s easy but doesn’t pay well. My son has moved to London and my wife wants us to visit. I don’t get holidays and will have to organise someone to relieve me. It’s been 6 years since I’ve had a holiday. The airfares will cost over $4k, she wants to go for 3 weeks, I’m worried my job won’t be there when I get back. She is keen to visit London and travel around Europe, I can’t see how we can afford it, also I really don’t want to go. She thinks there is something wrong with me. I’m so sad. I tried to kill my self seven years ago, nothing seems to have improved.</p></div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tired-and-nervous/td-p/567112" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Robbo5715<br>\n<br>\nWe are really sorry to hear about all of things that you are facing at the moment, it sounds like you are managing a lot right now. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience with us today, you never know when someone else will read this and feel less alone in their own life.<br>\n<br>\nIf you ever feel unsafe, it is important to call 000 or our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14.<br>\n<br>\nYou can also call us anytime on 1300 22 4636 if you ever want to chat.<br>\n<br>\nThanks again for reaching out, please feel free to drop back in and share how you're feeling or join other conversations that you relate to.<br>\n<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "05-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tired-and-nervous/td-p/567112" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hey Robbo,</p><p> </p><p>Really sorry to hear how you're feeling. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.</p><p> </p><p>Exploring Europe is extremely expensive, which is why you don't see each and every person traveling around the world. There's nothing wrong with that not being your idea of a good time. Traveling the world, or going over seas is something you save up to do, I'm sure you have savings, but I mean in a more comfortable situation... not something you do on a whim. I understand your wife's desire to see your child, and I'm sure you very much feel the same in that regard, however, as you know in your current situation that is not something you can just up and do. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe your wife isn't aware of your financial situation, or even your emotional state? A heart to heart with her could go a long way.</p><p> </p><p>I don't have the answers, but I wish I did. Just know you aren't alone and I hope this bought some solace. You sound like a good man Rob.</p><p> </p><p>Wish you the best.</p></div>", "date": "06-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tired-and-nervous/td-p/567112" }, { "author": "user-id/47714", "content": "<p>Thank you Flop, you’re right about the need to talk. I sort of feel I’ve been pushed into this (the trip) without being asked and now feel angry. When the anger goes I’ll try talking. Once again, thank you.</p></div>", "date": "06-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tired-and-nervous/td-p/567112" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7357", "content": "<p>Ever since I can remember, I have been extremely bothered by particular types of females while I'm in a relationship. For example. females who dress a certain way, or act a certain way (provocatively). Or even if they're not necessarily dressed provocatively, but are wearing something like tight leggings with their bum exposed through the pants, etc. I don't know if this comes from my own insecurities, or just disliking it in general, or both, but regardless, I can't stand it, and it actually makes me feel really terrible, and sometimes even angry.</p><p>I am particularly anxious as Summer is approaching, because that means half naked girls everywhere, plus I hate going to the beach with my boyfriend, because it makes me uncomfortable that he is seeing all of these half naked girls in their skimpy bikinis... to me, it feels like I'm being forced to watch my boyfriend viewing porn or something. I know that may sound silly, but it's really a big problem for me, and always has been. I'm not saying my boyfriend is doing anything wrong, because he isn't, it's the females around me which irritate me. And it's not even me thinking anything is going to happen either (in regards to infidelity) because I know it's not. Does anyone else experience the same thing? I really would like some help with this.</p></div>", "date": "07-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Bee </p><p> </p><p>not really . People choose what they want to wear it’s not a reflection on their character. I sometimes dress in tight things I practically live in leggings ( not that I believe  or even think they show off my bum cause I don’t think that way about it they are just comfortable and I exercise heaps so they are convenient for me . ) I wear summer dresses and skirts cause I like them ( not about looking sexy or anything but just like the colours and prints and stuff)  I did have a phase in my early 30s of wanting to be sexy <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":rolling_on_the_floor_laughing:\">🤣</span>  which looking back was hilarious and not sexy at all way too try hard which I’m like 40 now so I don’t really care so much I just wear what I like . I don’t behave provocatively I’m quite shy and I haven’t really seen any women out and about behaving provocatively. Are these women in your life behaving in such a way or are they strangers? Like say people just on the beach ? At a bar you haven’t met ?  Or wherever you go out do u see what you believe is this “ type” and become insecure?</p><p> </p><p>what makes u insecure? <br><br></p><p>what’s your definition of behaving provocatively? And your thoughts on what is sexy attire? And what do you wear ? <br><br></p><p>just trying to figure it out as everyone has different ideas of who they are and what they like to wear it’s usually not a reflection of who they are . People think I’m quite moody  or reserved cause I’m shy at times people have judged me on my appearance and have been wrong and admitted it and it’s been quite hurtful to have people say these types of things to me even in my teens my mother judged me and called me really disgusting things because of how I dressed and this was my  own mother . My only advice is to see the person not the clothes or the body ( sometimes people use clothes as a shield as their armour to protect  themselves or give themselves more confidence i did and still sometimes do ) </p></div>", "date": "08-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/22474", "content": "<p>Hey Bee, I had to reread your thread starter a few times to try to understand, trying to get your POV and mine too. Separately. </p><p> </p><p>Then when I reread this <em>\"</em><span><em>Ever since I can remember, I have been extremely bothered by particular types of females <strong>while I'm in a relationship</strong>.\"</em> I think I understood more.... IDK. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Hey blues23, my mother also did this, it's crap. I'm sorry for what she said to you back then, she was WRONG. Hugs. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Bee, I'm not sure what triggers these thoughts and emotions for you but I know why it has done for me. <br>Initially my father had an affair and left us all high and dry for that woman. Then it kept happening throughout out my own relationships (not all, but significant ones). <br>Affairs have been a \"theme\", so seeing my partner looking at women in a more than usual way, makes me extremely uncomfortable. Triggers me. Not the women, my partner's actions. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>IDK if I can help you but I do know that I've thought alot about it for me.. I'm the same, it doesn't bother me seeing anyone skimpily clad, I don't even see them differently, when I'm alone. <br><br></span></p><p><span>I never have issues with the women. Just my partner's reactions to them. I've even had nightmares about it. <br><br></span></p><p><span>Then I realised that as I get older there'll be more and more women seeming to look this way, it's just the way things go through life. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>The clincher at one point was, it doesn't matter HOW good I look, what I do, who I AM, if a partner is going to do this, then that's all on him. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Don't think I'm helping sorry! Trying to say we need to become comfortable with our surroundings or be burdened with the anxieties of our reactions. Some things are within our control and influence, some simply aren't. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Love EM</span></p></div>", "date": "08-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p>Hello Dear Bee1998….</p><p> </p><p>I really am sorry you’re having these thoughts and feelings…</p><p> </p><p>Yes men, boys, girls and women will look at other people, regardless of how they are clothed…unfortunately I think it’s in the nature of humans to do this….but and it’s a big but…sweet Bee, you are who he picked to be with…you’re  the one he has feelings for…and it’s more the inside, the soul that people connect to…looks are only the outer shell of a person….which can be annoying to you and maybe others as well….when it all comes down to what’s important it’s the love and care he has for who you are…your heart and soul…your personality, yes your looks, and the caring person you are….it’s all of you and who you are, all rolled up together into the perfect girlfriend for him…..Please try hard to enjoy your outings and time with him….</p><p> </p><p>Please, dear Bee…comparing yourselves to others, how they dress, wear their hair, body shape and size…will wear you down and move your thoughts from enjoying yourself with your beautiful boyfriend to less important things…..and may take away that joyful feeling you have when your with him…</p><p> </p><p>My kindest thoughts with my care Dear Bee..</p><p>Grandy…</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "08-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/45686", "content": "<p>Hi Bee, I'm going through the EXACT same thing - word for word, I can relate. It's a struggle. It's been a couple months since you asked this question, did you find a way to overcome this?</p></div>", "date": "05-01-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/7357", "content": "<p>Hi sunshine28, </p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately I haven’t found a way to overcome this just yet. <br>I have tried spiritual healing, as I believe these triggers are strongly tied to my traumatic childhood. <br><br></p><p>How are you going with it all? If you have found any solutions, or anything that is working for you, please feel free to share! </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" }, { "author": "user-id/45686", "content": "<p>Thanks so much for getting back to me Bee. How did you go with spiritual healing? <br>\n </p>\n\n<p>I definitely haven’t arrived at where I want to be, but I’m so grateful I’m not where I used to be. I’m a spiritual person too, and I’ve found that it’s really important for me to spend alone time with God everyday. I’ve also started ‘speaking life’, and saying affirmations to myself out loud everyday like “I am not an insecure person. God loves me. I know who I am in Christ. I am my own person. I follow Jesus. My happiness does not depend on other people around me. Period.” <br>\n </p>\n\n<p>There is a helpful book called Know Your Worth by Ruth Augustine </p>\n\n<p>I don’t know if you believe in God or not but I have to give Him all the credit - my prayers, and the prayers of my friends have been changing me and my husband too. But I’m still a work in progress - I still get protective of him… I don’t want him seeing half naked girls! But I know that he doesn’t want to be seeing all of that either. </p></div>", "date": "04-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/does-anyone-else-feel-like-this-too/td-p/549047" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/15630", "content": "<p>Hi<br>I feel like my marriage is slipping away. We've been married for 6 years and had a whole process issue with her visa and battled through this for years, we've finally got this sorted and able to live life without restrictions. However I've found as soon as this has happened my wifes priorities has changed and now she's trying to get her parents from overseas to come live with us and she even said she wants to buy a house mainly for her, her parents and our son and I feel like where does that leave me because I work my tail off to provide for her and our son who's 8 months and her priorities are parents. She also speaks to her cousin who's also in Australia and she's having issues with her family and in-laws and feel like its rubbing off onto my wife and now destroying our marriage as well. In terms of work I've found a new job but it's a very messy and a dysfunctional workplace and feel like I have to just do this job just to eventually get a house which won't even be mine freely. I feel like what's the point of living if all I'm living for is just to work and get a house that isn't really gonna be mine. Even if we separate I feel like I'm letting my newborn son down as he's the most important person in my life at the moment. My wife, myself and son still live at home with my parents as we can't afford to move out. What should I do because I can't change my wife's views and I'm getting mentally and physically exhausted with life.</p></div>", "date": "03-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/marriage-on-the-rocks-new-job-is-bad/td-p/567015" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Pyrolee~</p><p>Welcome back to the Forum. It is not an easy situation for you, perhaps the best short term thing ot do might be to see if you can get a job you are happy with, even if it earns a bit less. Living with parents can sometimes give a bit of flexibility in that area, and one less stress has to be good.</p><p> </p><p>Many people that come from overseas are very family-centric, and are happiest when surrounded by family. In addition to which they want the best for them which may well involve coming to Australia. It is very easy to think under those circumstances that you are on the outside and being used.</p><p> </p><p>In any good partnership both people are trying to love, cherish and look after the other. At the moment you are working harder in a poor job to please your partner. Can I ask how much your partner is doing to cherish you and relive some of that burden?</p><p> </p><p>Would it be reasonable for instance for her to contribute to the expense of family coming out, by working (which I know is awkward with a child) and to be content living with you and your son, and having family separate but nearby?</p><p> </p><p>Do you think it might be a good idea to discuss this with her, saying you feel simply like a wage earner and her priorities and affection do not seem to put you right up there? If you think that just the two of you talkng might not work can you both go to a councilor? An outside perspective can be very helpful.</p><p> </p><p>It may be quite possible to the two of you to overcome this difficulty, after all you managed to get though the trials of getting a visa, something pretty hard to do.</p><p> </p><p>You are welcome here anytime</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "03-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/marriage-on-the-rocks-new-job-is-bad/td-p/567015" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Pyrolee,</p><p> </p><p>I heard about your troubles and I just wanted to say, I'm really sorry you're going through all this. It must be really hard.</p><p> </p><p>Croix shared some thoughts that I fully agree with. Dealing with big problems both at work and at home is a lot for anyone. So, maybe you could think about looking for a new job. One that makes you happy. I know things are tough right now with jobs because of the economy, but don't lose hope. It might take a bit of time, but I believe you'll find something good for you.</p><p> </p><p>About things with your wife, Croix mentioned some cultural differences. It's true that in some cultures, it's legal and moral obligation to take care of older parents. The important thing is, do you and your wife still want to help each other and be there for each other in the long run? Maybe find a calm moment to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.</p><p> </p><p>I really hope things start looking up for you soon. Please feel free to come back. We're here for you.</p><p> </p><p>Take care,<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/marriage-on-the-rocks-new-job-is-bad/td-p/567015" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Pyrolee, the situation you are in is a very precarious one, because if you can purchase a house and pay it off then you'll have your inlaws come and live with you, your wife and your son, not much different than where you are living now, although I appreciate parents are different than inlaws and how your wife reacts may be different to her parents, rather her inlaws.</p><p>If you do decide to separate then you shouldn't lose any contact with your son and it will be quality time, because what difference is there between living with your parents, compared to living with her parents, well some I know, but irrespective of their nationality, living with just your family is more appropriate, otherwise problems will slowly develop.</p><p>You are only staying with your parents to save money and her argument that now the family should move out and buy a home, so her parents can come and live with you, doesn't gel, because many problems will slowly develop and that's not what you want.</p><p>Happy to continue.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/marriage-on-the-rocks-new-job-is-bad/td-p/567015" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/14043", "content": "<p>A month ago I had a huge flare up of my GAD. I have many things coming up this year that suddenly overwhelmed me and it made my anxiety/depression worse than it has ever been before. I’ve been seeing my psychologist fortnightly and increased my medication a month ago. I’m definitely having better days where I can see hope, last week I had 5 days in a row where I felt back to my usual self and I thought “great! Everything is back to normal!” But then I had a day with slight anxiety and it spiraled out of control again. So I’m finding now I’m having good days and then really really low days where I just cry and cry and feel like I’ll never get better. I guess my question is, is it normal when recovering from such a severe relapse to have good days and then have really bad days again? Has anyone else been through this? My psychologist has said that recovery is not linear, it has many ups and downs but it’s hard to see the light when you’re in the downs. </p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/recovering-from-anxiety-relapse/td-p/566750" }, { "author": "user-id/44836", "content": "<p>Hi Romy</p><p> </p><p>Your Psychologist is right. Recovery is not linear. There will be good days, and there will be bad days.</p><p>You just have to keep trying. Do the things you know work for you to help with the days that are not so great.</p><p>My journey is different from yours, but i do understand. I still have days where my anxiety is completely out of control. But i stop. Tell myself i've got this, and try and shove the anxiety back in its box.  It may not always go in all at once and it may require a larger box, but i do get there.</p><p>You've got this. Its literally one day at a time.</p><p>Bad days will happen, but if you can move on and forward from those, then that is all you can ask for.</p><p>Here if you want to chat more, take care.</p><p>Jx</p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/recovering-from-anxiety-relapse/td-p/566750" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hi Romy</p><p> </p><p>Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue family!</p><p> </p><p>I understand and feel your pain with GAD. Its like having <u><em>''invisible crutches</em></u>'' sometimes. You are very proactive where treatment/healing is concerned Romy and good on you.</p><p> </p><p>To answer your question...Yes I have been through the same roller coaster ride of anxiety disorder and its a awful vile place to be in. I started taking a small dose of SSRI's back in 1997 and combined with ongoing visits to my GP/counsellor it works well</p><p> </p><p>Can I ask if your anxiety has a negative effect on your ability function on a day to day basis? </p><p> </p><p>you are not alone Romy. Thankyou again for having the courage to speak about anxiety (GAD)</p><p> </p><p>any questions are always welcome! </p><p> </p><p>my kind thoughts always</p><p> </p><p>Paul</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/recovering-from-anxiety-relapse/td-p/566750" }, { "author": "user-id/14043", "content": "<p>Thank you Jed x</p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/recovering-from-anxiety-relapse/td-p/566750" }, { "author": "user-id/14043", "content": "<p>Hi Paul, </p><p>Yes, when my anxiety gets really really bad I struggle to function. I struggle to eat so I’ve lost a decent amount of weight in the last month. Then from not eating I have no energy making me feel more anxious. This is getting better now as I’m eating again but as I have just been through the worst breakdown I’ve ever had, I am quite easily triggered leading to bad days. I do seem to get better faster though. </p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/recovering-from-anxiety-relapse/td-p/566750" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/12328", "content": "<p>Hello, I am a woman in my 50's. I have 3 kids, who are adults, and 2 have moved out and have their own families. My ex died 19 yrs. ago and have been single ever since. Being on your own, and not putting all your energy on your children, forces oneself to deal with one's own issues. wow is all i can say for i have issues, i could write a novel. but my anxiety, and ptsd  is extreme now that i have finally made my appointment with psych to deal with my past. On top off that being flooded with repressed memories, once kiddies grew up,  i pushed back, willfully ignorant, bad memories, due to knowing at that time if i processed everything I would of broke. This forum seems like a great place to relate, now currently i am a carer for my younger adult due to mental health, but she is nearly there. </p><p>I'll sign off for now. this is overwhelming, I wish everyone the strength to open up and not be ashamed. The hardest part for me was thinking I was alone, I know different now, but i still emotionally cut off and hide away and that has to stop now.</p><p>from alle</p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finally-admitting-to-myself-of-my-anxiety-ptsd/td-p/566851" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Cocness~</p><p>Welcome here to the Forum, a good move as you can see others' experiences, and that can help.</p><p> </p><p>First off I'd have to say that looking after kids on your own for roughly 20 years, getting 2 of them to the  stage that can leave home and still looking after one is an enormous feat. Apart from anything else I think you would admit you are not the same person you was 20 years ago. You have held things together because  you needed to and that in itself has given you some power over your PTSD and anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>So now wiht only one left you do have the freedom to explore waht has happened to you in the past and how it has affected you, your thinking and your worries.  If the idea of this hits you all at once it can seem pretty overwhelming -even frightening.</p><p> </p><p>My own experience has been that  I'm not the same person I was when events took place, I'm older, more experienced, know myself more,  and better able to cope. That does not mean things are a walk in the park, but it does mean they are more manageable, a bit more muted than at the time</p><p> </p><p>If oyu are like me things will come back ,and they will be upsetting and take a lot our of you , however you are not doing it alone. Booking in to a psych is an excellent move. It is what I did and over time I'm now in a very different place and enjoy life.</p><p> </p><p>There is no hurry, if you feel emotionally cut off now give it itme. I was like a separate person from myself (I hope that makes sense) but that has faded away. I give and receive love from a partner.</p><p> </p><p>I also no longer need to hide and put on a mask that everything is OK. With most people my condition does not arise, and if it does I admit it briefly, and save in depth talk for my partner and my psych (who I still see).</p><p> </p><p>Beleive me, if o can raise kids alone you can cope with this. Incidentally may I ask how you get on with them, is there anyone  you can speak frankly to?</p><p> </p><p>I hope we talk some more, as you say - you are not alone</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/finally-admitting-to-myself-of-my-anxiety-ptsd/td-p/566851" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47645", "content": "<p>My 15 year old son has developed some major anxiety issues which are beginning to impact his daily life such as unable to attend school most days. My husband decided 6 months ago that he wanted to live by himself so we have separated, sold our family home and he and I purchased seperate houses. My son decided to live with me because he did not appreciate his dad’s decision to break up the family….Both my son and I were having a perfectly happy family life until my husband decided he had enough of family life. We don’t live far from each other and still see each other as somewhat friends…it’s complicated and confusing. I do feel this is a major contributor to my sons new anxiety, as a suddenly single parent I am at a loss as to how to help him, I haven’t even helped myself by talking to anyone. I realy don’t know who to turn to, there are no family members to talk to and I don’t want things to get worse…can anyone please help?</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>Your sons world has collapsed no doubt. Anxiety is a serious illness that often needs professional assistance to overcome. I overcame mine but it took a couple of decades, such is the process and it is multi pronged in how you approach it. A link at the bottom is good reading about my experience.</p><p> </p><p>Re: \"<span><em>My son decided to live with me because he did not appreciate his dad’s decision to break up the family\".</em>  Was your husbands decision to move out because he wanted to \"break up the family\" or because he had other reasons? I ask this because people split up without the reason to cause havoc. That comment I'm afraid would turn your son against his dad if it was said to him and shatter your sons and your estranged husbands relationship. It would not assist your sons anxiety. Essentially what I'm eluding to is that leaving the family home doesnt mean a person is wrong or wants to hurt others. In an ideal world both parents would sit down with their child and inform them of a parent moving out but in the same breath promote the love they both have for him and that although the move is sad and painful that friendship will live on as they have a great son to love etc. As your son \"did not appreciate\" that sounds like he formed a view that his dad is in the wrong and deliberately broke up the family. So some rectifying might need to be considered on your sons views on this as he would be extremely disappointed with his dads actions of moving out. I think you are the centrepoint that can promote a closer bond between dad and son which is a win win situation. What do you think?</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I'd contact your family GP and local community services as to advice to help you and your son to help his anxiety and ensure his relationship with his son is restored as best it can be. Your GP can also tackle your sons anxiety and possible depression.</span></p><p> </p><p><span><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873</a></span></p><p> </p><p><span>TonyWK</span></p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/47645", "content": "<p>Hello Tony, Your response to me has left me very emotional. It’s the first time I have reached out and the impact of your response is very overwhelming right now as it’s the truth. I realy want to thank you for your time and your insight and experience and I will act accordingly, I felt your pain too in your text and at least we are not alone…..</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi again,</p><p> </p><p>It takes an incredible parent to acknowledge the truth and put their child first with their mental health.  So you thanked me- well I'm thanking you because your love for your child is infinite. </p><p> </p><p><span>You're a good mum. But hurt and rejection is hard to keep behind our masks. Time is the only healer .. understanding, acceptance and friendship can't be enormous in our healing.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>Well done</span></p><p> </p><p><span>TonyWK</span></p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/739", "content": "<p>Hi potoftea,</p><p>Thank you for reaching out here. </p><p>I would encourage you to have a conversation with your son and to gently, and very warmly encourage him to share with you his thoughts and feelings. About the situation you described, possibly about what's going on for him at school - the most important avenues in his life. Also, ask him what HIS needs are, and then truly respect and action them. I had a friend who was in a very similar situation like your son. They couldn't stand their dad coming for an univited and unexpected visit, totally disturbing their inner peace. It was very confusing for them and make it much, much harder to adjust to the separation of their parents. Their mother was allowing for father's unexpected visits thinking the children needed contact with their father, but it was making things much worse. My friend needed some space, time to process things, and find themselves in this new situation. It felt to them like parents were separated but they weren't? They got better when certain rules were presented to their father i.e. asking them how did they feel about his visits (if he wanted to visit), and if they agreed to this. </p><p>Let us know how you go. </p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Learn to fly</p><p> </p><p>Amazing post. Just when one thinks they think of all matters covered and this possibility comes along, thankyou.</p><p> </p><p>And of course the opposite could be true also, that he wants to see more of his dad?  Certainly that warm heart to heart chat is required.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" }, { "author": "user-id/739", "content": "<p>Absolutely Tony and thank you so much for pointing this out. I apologise - I should have mentioned that the opposite was also an option. I have to admit my thoughts were very much stuck with the situation of my friend and describing the details got me forgot this most obvious option as well. </p><p>Thank you again Tony! Much appreciated. </p></div>", "date": "01-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/teenage-son-anxiety/td-p/566657" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/11308", "content": "<p>I have been working hard to better myself for the last 4 years I’m 18. I had a period of time when I was 13 with OCD for about 6 months where it was so severe I went days without food occasionally and was unable to drink, eat and go to sleep well. Additionally my parents were out of work partially due to my illness. We were poor and I was sleeping in a closet, not going to school, not showering, malnourished and isolated for about 6months. It was a hard fall from what was a very successful kid. I no longer suffer from OCD, but after 4 years of almost religiously trying to heal myself I still struggle with social anxiety to a point I struggle playing low level sport, socialising, eating in front of others and going to school. I realised I had ignored my problems from when I was 13 because it’s confronting. Do I need to confront these wounds to better myself. I want to get better quickly and correctly. How do I explore my past, and I find myself blaming people and myself whenever i do, is it meaningful to understand?</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/have-been-working-on-myself-for-year-and-i-still-struggle-with/td-p/566656" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>All I can say is \"wow\". Such personal effort to better yourself after a harrowing period as you described is honoured by me, so thankyou.</p><p> </p><p>Society has clear boundaries unfortunately. Such boundaries of \"normality\" automatically excludes those that even appear odd or experience unusual behaviours and such behaviours or illnesses are not the fault of the person concerned. So such expectations placed on us is tormenting and challenging, not to mention very unfair.</p><p> </p><p>Have you considered- it isnt your fault, the last 4 years. that working hard is great but that level of effort can wear you down?. That experiences like yours can be overcome and never return? That you'll learn from them? That the expectations placed on you by yourself and others like sport, eating in front of others etc are indeed placing you into a normal behavioural place that you might not fit in? That it's ok not to \"fit in\". That- (and here is the most important point) you are you, you are wonderful, you are unique and although you dont fit within that boundary of normality, you dont have to and preferably you didnt because oyu'd be just like everyone else and from experience I'd dislike that a lot.</p><p> </p><p>Exploring your past - a GP and follow up psychological or similar treatment could be a way to do this. Some however cant afford it. Until you can afford it you can write down your past issues and study them. Now we have google and you can investigate things like OCD and its effects on humans. Even financial hardship can have a devastating effect on our mental well being.</p><p> </p><p>You can keep posting here. Myself and others come on here sometimes daily to answer your questions. You can use the search facility here, its wide ranging. </p><p> </p><p>BTW, a good start to all this is to not be so hard on yourself. \"<em> ignored my problems from when I was 13 because it’s confronting\"... </em>thats normal! Initially we ignore our issues as we dont have an answer for them. At 13yo nearly everyone avoids the trauma of self reflection.</p><p> </p><p>So welcome again. Congratulations in seeking help and wanting to explore what is possible.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/have-been-working-on-myself-for-year-and-i-still-struggle-with/td-p/566656" }, { "author": "user-id/44061", "content": "<p>Hi T1278910,</p><p> </p><p>I just want to acknowledge how difficult the period of your life must have been when you were sleeping in a closet, not going to school, not showering and not working. It. sounds like you have overcome so much adversity in your life and I hope you are proud of yourself for that. </p><p> </p><p>Personally, I found overcoming social anxiety myself was achieved through challenging my own thoughts around socialising and putting myself into these social situations regardless of how uncomfortable I was. I found the only way to break that feeling was to consistently put myself into the situation until I didnt feel the strong pull of social anxiety as much. I still occasionally feel it in some social situations,  however it has become much easier.</p><p>This doesn't work for everyone but have you considered talking to a psychologist/counsellor? Having some support around you while you try to move through and confront these wounds may be important.</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/have-been-working-on-myself-for-year-and-i-still-struggle-with/td-p/566656" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47652", "content": "<p>Hi im not new to this, beyond blue had got me out of a very dark place once before due to depression from past trauma and abuse.</p><p> </p><p>Although I managed to avoid my mental health issues I have constant anxiety attacks.</p><p> </p><p>Its been a few years I capped my thoughts and inner feelings inside not feeling safe enough emotionally to express whats going on inside but I recently have been having alot more anxiety attacks where I feel I cant breathe or I suddenly feel like there's a wall of glass in front of me and I feel out of breath at times.</p><p> </p><p>I am known to alot of people to cut connections from groups of people from time to time I will be fairly social one moment and could light up the room but then il wake up one day delete my socials block people trying to communicate who I feel are constantly overwhelming me asking me about my life I don't want to share with them.  I delete photos and cut all access to anybody who questions my sudden ghost mode even if they did nothing wrong.  Its not that I don't purposely do it, in the moment when im feeling down thoughts of negative voices attack me as if someone is controlling my mind not to trust people not to keep in contact.  I have walked away and cut relationships if I feel they try to get more close or I feel anxious of physical intimacy I stay home I raise my son and i choose not to have friends in the same city to save my energy or with little that I have to get through the day.  I just want to sleep.  But thats another battle is not being able to sleep well at night.  Which affects my kid and i barely talk to the ones I live with.  And I use to smoke but I barely can lift a cigarette because how tired I am but restless and always need to clean. When I clean I feel a sense of accomplishment I bond well with animals I take care of.  But I feel I use my pets as a way to avoid my problems and sudden disassociate myself from any human.  Which is why I know seeing a professional will be of no use because I don't want to leave the house I force myself to go to the shops just to buy necessities for my child but im completely in robot mode.. in the shop then out no contact head down and thats a little difficult to cope with when my child is full of life and social. </p><p> </p><p>My questions is.  What is the best way to deal with my anxiety when im feeling breathless and my chest feels like a weight is on it.  Do I write about it? Or do I take other steps. I just don't believe a doctor can possibly help me at this point.  And I dont want to join social groups or talk to anyone.  I just feel alone.  Even with a room full of people.  They just sound like im underwater listening but not clear.  I read a few posts and I think it makes my anxiety more heavier to deal with feelin sad about other peoples problems with anxiety. And I dont want to burden anybody.  But I hope whoever reads this can feel some sort of comfort that they aint alone.  I wouldn't want anybody to feel like what they are feeling isnt normal  and that they are alone.. or just a way for a family or friend to tell you to  \"harden up\" </p><p> </p><p>Maybe these are just lost thoughts and il stop questioning my sanity.</p><p> </p><p>Im sending love and light to those struggling right now.   </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/misery-doesnt-like-company/td-p/566694" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hello Miseria </p><p>Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue family too!</p><p> </p><p>You mentioned \"<span><em>My questions is. What is the best way to deal with my anxiety when im feeling breathless and my chest feels like a weight is on it</em>\"</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I understand your question (<strong><u><em>and your post</em></u></strong>) as your symptoms are atypical for this awful anxiety condition. There are many people on the forums that have experienced your pain/ frustration. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Just to let you know that I wasted 13 years of my life by thinking I could get over my anxiety on my own... I was so wrong. There are many people on the forums that have experienced what we have.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>Just for myself I havent found a quick fix...yet. The best peace of mind came from a community counsellor that had me crying my heart out when he pressed my buttons. I had weeks of peace away from the symptoms you and I both have. I think thats why counsellors have a box of tissues on the small coffee table </span></p><p> </p><p><span><u><em>you are not alone at all Miseria</em></u>. I understand and feel your pain</span></p><p> </p><p><span>my kind thoughts</span></p><p> </p><p><span>Paul</span></p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/misery-doesnt-like-company/td-p/566694" }, { "author": "user-id/7643", "content": "<p>Hi Miseria,</p><p>You are not alone, please dont ever think that you are.</p><p>Finding the right path to follow is not easy and the fact that you can use this forum as a way of connecting and expressing your thoughts is a good \"one for you\" moment.</p><p>Always reach out when you are struggling even if it means 5 posts a day. There is no judgement.</p><p> </p><p>Blessed Be</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/misery-doesnt-like-company/td-p/566694" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47648", "content": "<p>Just need to talk with someone</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/elena-s-life/td-p/566673" }, { "author": "user-id/47649", "content": "<p>Hi Elena. I’ve come to this forum to get some ideas on how to deal with some issues I have, and I saw your post. Im</p><p>no expert on anything, just wanted to say well done for reaching out. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I know there’s lots of people out there to talk to. I hope you get through what’s going on in your life. Stay positive <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span> Jason</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/elena-s-life/td-p/566673" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>hi Elena,</p><p> </p><p>i hope you are okay, like jason said, well done for reaching out to the forums. there are a lot of us here that can give valuable advice. what would you like to talk about?</p><p> </p><p>just know that whatever is bothering you, you are not alone and things will get better xx</p><p> </p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "31-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/elena-s-life/td-p/566673" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/27505", "content": "<p>Hey guys x</p>\n<p>I'm new to this forum but I'm pretty certain I'm struggling with 'Pure O' OCD. Does anyone else struggle with this or OCD in general? I would love you hear your stories/experiences.</p>\n<p>Thanks for reading. </p></div>", "date": "15-08-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/38561", "content": "<p>Hi sarahlouisexo,</p>\n<p>Firstly, welcome to the forums.</p>\n<p>I have suffered from OCD for many, many years... only really discovered this year that it may very well be OCD but when I worked out all the little things I do, I was convinced it was OCD.. from having to lock the doors at night in a certain order, to having to drive through the same entrance to a shopping centre every time I go their, having to set my alarms on my phone in a certain way to many other things.</p>\n<p>I am not 100% familiar with Pure O OCD - are you able to tell me what it is? I am interested to know more about it.</p>\n<p>Every day is a mental battle when you have OCD I find, doing things in order are needed so their is balance in our lives. It's very interesting to be honest.</p>\n<p>My best for you,</p>\n<p>Jay</p></div>", "date": "15-08-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/27505", "content": "<p>Hi there <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>Thanks! </p>\n<p>Oh wow, that's interesting. Thanks for sharing your experience <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> I've never had those kinds of physical compulsions, they are more mental. </p>\n<p>I think this explains 'Pure O' well:</p>\n<p> ‘Pure O’ is a form of OCD where people mistakenly believe that it differs from traditional OCD, in that it features no outward compulsive manifestations; instead, the anxiety-inducing obsessions take place only in the mind. <br>\nHowever, a person with ‘Pure O’ will still have compulsions which mainly manifest as unseen mental rituals, and they will usually also engage in compulsive <g class=\"gr_ gr_360 gr-alert gr_spell gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim ContextualSpelling multiReplace\" id=\"360\" data-gr-id=\"360\">behaviours</g> like seeking reassurance from loved ones, and avoidance of particular objects, places or people. They are compulsions, nonetheless, which is why the term ‘Pure O’ is somewhat imprecise.</p></div>", "date": "15-08-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "hi Sarah, I've had OCD for 57 years and haven't even heard anybody call it 'Pure O OCD' although I have googled it and it says the same as what you have said, and can I quote 'it's one of the most distressing and challenging forms of OCD' and that it 'varies greatly, but the central theme for all sufferers is the emergence of a disturbing intrusive thoughts' and so the article goes on, <g class=\"gr_ gr_21 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep\" id=\"21\" data-gr-id=\"21\">however</g> what it involves also happens in what we know as OCD, so basically we are talking about the same illness, <g class=\"gr_ gr_22 gr-alert gr_gramm gr_inline_cards gr_run_anim Punctuation only-ins replaceWithoutSep\" id=\"22\" data-gr-id=\"22\">however</g> it is defined.<br>\nI'm certainly not trying to distinguish between the two of these simply because most people say they are struggling with OCD, whether it's washing your hands every 5 minutes, checking door locks or having intrusive thoughts, plus all the other habits/rituals that take over our minds it is such a terrible illness, and those who don't have it can't figure out why we have to do all of this continually. <br>\nThey believe that it's something that would be easy to stop, unbeknown to them it can't or it's certainly not easy.<br>\nThere was an online course I once did to help me with my OCD, and it did help, but as soon as the course was over I just went back to how I was before, I couldn't keep doing what the course had told me to do, perhaps this could help some people, but do they then transfer their habits/rituals onto doing something else, maybe, because over all these years I have been able to stop something, but it is then replaced with another habit.<br>\nI have a twin and thankfully he doesn't have it which I'm so grateful for.<br>\nCome back Sarah and ask anything you want, as you know there's much more to the story. Geoff. <br></div>", "date": "16-08-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/38561", "content": "<p>Hi sarahlouisexo,</p>\n<p>Wow, that is a good explanation, after reading it I feel I have that as well, I avoid certain places as well which is interesting, were you diagnosed with that or was that just after reading about it?</p>\n<p>My best,</p>\n<p>Jay</p></div>", "date": "16-08-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/20220", "content": "<p>Not sure if anyone is still visiting this link. </p>\n<p>I have been struggling for a few years with OCD, but after research i am pretty sure its Pure O. That is, intrusive thoughts followed by hours of...</p>\n<p>Oh my God where did that come from?</p>\n<p>What if i act on that?</p>\n<p>Do i forget about them? Block them out? Think about something else? Remove the triggers or stay away from people that cause the triggers? It can be very tiresome and it obviously leads to depression because you remember what you were like as a person before this came about! I am 44, and these thoughts suddenly appeared 3 years ago I can still remember the exact day), however mainly during holidays or i was less busy and they went away and i was back to my usual happy self. Which made it harder when they came back again during holidays or my mind was less busy. At the time i had no clue what was happening so it was very stressful however at least now i am better prepared (sort of) to try to deal. </p>\n<p>I have it in my mind that removing myself and just 'getting through' the times and experiences that trigger these thoughts will see me right, however that leads to wishing my life away, especially with time with my family. </p>\n<p>I spoke to a psychologist for the first time last week, but she offered me advice which was ok, mainly that the thoughts are not the real you etc and if you let your mind fight them, then they come back stronger. I long for the days where i am back to my happy self, outgoing, extroverted. I can tell when i wake up what type of day it will be. The thoughts are so outrageous, horrible and effect those i love that it is very tiresome fighting them, trying to prove to yourself that it is not 'you'</p>\n<p>I dont wash my hands 10 times, lock doors over and over, i do my compulsions in my head, just to fight them. </p>\n<p>It feels good just to write it all down for the first time. I have tried st Johns wort but it was indifferent. The psychologist had not heard of this. </p>\n<p>Is there another herbal treatment to increase my mood?</p>\n<p>I will keep busy as downtime is not my friend! </p>\n<p>Not sure if anyone still active but it is good to share! I will probably look for a psychiatrist who has experience with pure o or ocd. </p></div>", "date": "03-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Cameron005, it doesn't matter if you find an old thread and then post on it again, but please let me welcome you.</p>\n<p>I've had OCD for 58 years and know exactly what you are saying, and also know that anyone who doesn't have this illness may find it difficult to understand, but those suffering from it will agree with you.</p>\n<p>It's caused by anxiety, but not everyone who has anxiety will it, what happens is we say to ourselves that if ( for some reason ) we check the lock 3, 4, or 6 times then nothing will happen, that's our anxiety telling us to do this, whereas if you don't have OCD then your anxiety will affect you in other ways.</p>\n<p>Intrusive thoughts always seem to be a disturbing thought, a worry that we could quite easily hurt someone we love, causing the thoughts to become more frequent and distressing and are known as an obsession.</p>\n<p>These thoughts feel as though they have taken over your life, but it doesn't mean you have done anything wrong.</p>\n<p>The problem is not in the thought itself, but rather what you do with the thought.</p>\n<p>Everyone has intrusive thoughts but it then leaves, whereas an intrusive thought for people with OCD is distressing and it's how you respond to it such as fear, disgust or alarm.</p>\n<p>Any of these thoughts for me fortunately never happened, and there is a large thread on 'intrusive thoughts' you may want to read.</p>\n<p>I haven't heard that St. Johns Wort works, but everyone is different, but your doctor can prescribe medication which is targeted towards OCD and depression, that's what I take, but unfortunately, names of medication can't be mentioned, but I'd really like to hear back from you.</p>\n<p>Geoff.<br>\n<br>\n</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" }, { "author": "user-id/47642", "content": "<p>Hi Cameron, I've struggled with these symptoms for years and only just today put a name to it (via another forum I was reading). Trust me, you're not alone! I find it's exacerbated when I'm highly anxious. Most of the rest of the time I can 'manage' the thoughts, but during times of high anxiety it can be overwhelming. I'm currently struggling a bit as I've just gone back on to medication, but I do find that it helps after some time. I'm also doing lots of mindfulness (meditation etc), eating better and walking, which all helps set you up for a healthy lifestyle. I plan on seeing a counsellor soon to look at some of the therapies they offer as well. I can see this is a very old discussion thread, but hope you have managed to find some help with it.</p><p>David</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pure-o-pure-obsessional-ocd/td-p/304525" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47637", "content": "<p>Hello Beyond Blue counsellors,</p><p> </p><p>I am suffering with ASD and anxiety. I'm not enjoying home life especially with my dad he frightens me. He yells at me, swears at me and hits me sometimes when i do the wrong thing. I really want to move out of my home since i don't feel safe nor good there. Sadly i can't and i need to wait until i'm 18.</p><p> </p><p>Kind regards,</p><p> </p><p>Yuki (zoe) </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-amp-asd/td-p/566631" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hey _yuki15_,<br>\n<br>\nWelcome to the forums and thank you for your openness and bravery in sharing such a powerful post. We’re so sorry to hear you've been feeling frightened at home, and don't feel safe there with your dad. You've made a really good step in sharing here. <br>\n<br>\nIt's not ok for your parent to hit you or make you feel scared whenever you're home, and it's never your fault. We can understand it must feel really scary. You've made such a brave decision sharing this post.<br>\n<br>\nIs there anyone in your life you'd feel comfortable sharing this with? We're thinking a trusted teacher, school counsellor, health professional or friend? If you're not sure who to call, we'd really recommend talking to <a href=\"https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Kids Helpline about this, on 1800 55 1800 or webchat</a>. Another option is connecting with <a href=\"https://www.1800respect.org.au/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">1800RESPECT</a>.<br>\n<br>\nWe're reaching out to you privately to see if you'd like to chat this through with our counsellors. If you'd like to reach us directly, we're always available on 1300 22 4636 or <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">online here.</a><br>\n<br>\nThanks so much for starting this discussion, yuki. You deserve to feel safe at home, and with the right support, things will get better. <br>\n<br>\nKind regards,<br>\n<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-amp-asd/td-p/566631" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47634", "content": "<p>My current boyfriend of almost one year has an ex wife. They are not legally divorced yet but have been separated from what I am aware about 5 years he's also had relationships post her before me. In 2020 she moved back in to live with him for a bit then left again. She moved back in with him 6 months ago (they have separate bedrooms) as she is suffering with mental issues and other sickness my boyfriend doesn't wish to share. However he has not told her about me and our relationship. This has cause me to grow majorly insecure and for both my boyfriend and I to have problems and cause a strain in the relationship. He doesn't want to be selfish and tell her about me because he doesn't want her to get worse I guess. I don't know what to do because I love him and he loves me and wants to be with me. But she has no idea about me and told him that she wants to have kids with him. I have already given him an ultimatum but he still wont tell her. What do I do? Is she making him feel guilt tripped? </p><p> </p><p>Its giving me major anxiety and feel depressed and somewhat lonely because he doesn't help reassure me and nobody has been in my situation before.</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-in-a-relationship-with-someone-who-was-married/td-p/566621" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello 8-8-8, I'm sure this situation is not suitable for you at the moment, because he loves you, but he still cares for her and has accepted for her to move in with him.</p><p>It wouldn't be viable for him to have kids with her becauyse it would only complicate the situation and by having kids is not the answer to revive any relationship.</p><p>It's a catch-22 position, because he can't care for her and as well love you, because both of these become very messy in trying to please the both of you, it doesn't happen.</p><p>The final decision has to come from him because he can't have both, and if he does then he's going to make you unhappy, and as he has been away from her for 5 years, he won't be able to help her with her mental issues and even if he tries then his mood will be affected when he sees you.</p><p>If he wants to keep his wife staying with him, then unfortunately you won't be able to change his mind and will have to move on, sorry, but three way relationships never work out, and if he says he will ask her to move, then the proof is in the pudding, because if he keeps procrastinating, the situation will only upset the two of you.</p><p>It's a hard position to be in.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-in-a-relationship-with-someone-who-was-married/td-p/566621" }, { "author": "user-id/47634", "content": "<p>Thank you for your feedback that does help. I forgot to note that before we started dating he did tell me that she was going to move back in with him. In which then we were both friends and didn't see our feeling advancing. By the time she moved in I was expecting him to tell her but he still hasn't. You're right its defiantly just been upsetting us. I think something that will always bother me is how the wife will never know about me especially when I've been such a big role in his life. She always been in his life even if they're not together they still have kept contact now thinking about this I feel like an idiot. </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/being-in-a-relationship-with-someone-who-was-married/td-p/566621" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/7803", "content": "<p>Warning - May be triggering for some </p>\n<p>I suffer with severe health anxiety which has manifested into an obsession with stroke. I have been to the gp probably 6 times over the last year, maybe more, sure I was having a stroke. </p>\n<p>This particular fear began when I read an article online about a super rare case of a woman having a stroke after visiting a hairdressers. Since then I am terrified to visit hairdressers. Every time I hurt my neck (I have a touchy neck), I believe I've torn an artery and a stroke is impending. </p>\n<p> I've had therapy, meds... nothing is working. Currently my neck is giving me grief and I have sharp head pain/ headaches on one side and pins and needles in my feet. On the stroke merry go round I go. I'm always crying because I have 2 small kids and I'm terrified of the stroke happening and killing or disabling me.</p>\n<p>I want to go to my gp as this time, I'm sure it is a stroke as the symptoms are so real, but my husband and mum tell me this is another tales alarm. I'm worried I'm like the boy who cried wolf.</p>\n<p>Sorry for the rant. Has anyone got any words of wisdom? Thanks. </p></div>", "date": "22-07-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear MrsX~</p>\n<p>I'm sorry you have this burden to deal wiht, it can really make life pretty bad. you mention having been on medication and therapy, may I ask the disagnosis?</p>\n<p>I have had a variety of physical symptoms, including intermittent chest pain, for a great many years. This lead me to beieve I had some form of heart disease. As you can expect I had every sort of test more than once, ecg, blood, cat, x-ray, mri and so on. </p>\n<p>In every case they have come back negative and in every case I found it hard to accept the results. At first I dismissed them out of hand as medical science being imperfect. As time has gone on however I've accpted that they are all anxiety based.</p>\n<p>This has been helped by a couple of things, firstly I do have some ongoing real physical ailments and they were picked up straight away -no false negatives or positives, which has given me more faith in the medical system.</p>\n<p>The second is that incidents of the symptoms tends to coincide with periods of heightened anxiety.</p>\n<p>So what can I say from all this? I would expect that logically you can see that this fear, starting after you read about the problem, and continuing despite not being findable in the tests is a product of anxiety.</p>\n<p>I say logically, becuse in fact the fear may not be suseptible to logic. All I can suggest is to see if treating anxiety makes a differnece long-term.</p>\n<p>If you search using Google the following:</p>\n<p><em>health anxiety beyondblue</em></p>\n<p>You will find there are many threads on this subject. Perhaps if you take some time and look though them you will find how others have coped.</p>\n<p>Feeling like you have cried wolf will - I suspect- keep on occurring. While I would not wish to advise you on if you should see about more tests I can say continuing to work with you doctor on this is the best bet.</p>\n<p>I do hope you come back and talk some more</p>\n<p>Croix</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "22-07-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" }, { "author": "user-id/3114", "content": "<p>Hi MrsX,</p>\n<p>I am in the same boat as you. I actually went and got brain scans to put my mind at ease because I was gettinf pains and headaches constantly since when I was pregnant. </p>\n<p>Happy to say there is nothing wrong with my head which has put my stroke fears aside. Now I think about heart attacks because I also get chest pains. I am breast feeding so most of the pains are from that and the other pains are when I get panic attacks. That still doesn't matter though as I always go back to thinking there ia something wrong. </p>\n<p>I also have 2 young kids so know how hard it is when you need to be a mother while having anxiety that you don't have control over. </p>\n<p>I am currently taking meds as well as doing mindfulness exercises ro help combat my anxiety. I also talk with my sister who has had anxiety for a long time, and found out that her anxiety symptoms are different from mine. </p>\n<p>I thought I was alone in having these symptoms. But I am glad that I have some that are common with others so that I don't feel so alone. It also gives me a bit of comfort knowing that my symptoms don't mean that I'm dying.</p>\n<p>How are you going today?</p>\n<p>From Mackenzie</p></div>", "date": "22-07-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" }, { "author": "user-id/7747", "content": "Dear MrsX. How I feel your pain! I hope chatting in this forum provides some relief and reassurance that you are not going crazy and that there are others that experience health anxiety too! I've really struggled with health anxiety for a long time. Sometimes it is really severe and other times it isn't as bad. The thing is, I realise it's not logical to be so fearful but yet it doesn't stop me from being absolutely terrified. I find that so hard to deal with. I'm pretty logical most of the time but this thing has got me beat! Physical symptoms are awful, and I understand it is so hard not to come to the worst conclusion. Just on the head pains, can I ask if you clench your jaw? This can definitely cause that sort of pain, and your extreme fear/tension will be making your neck worse too. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> Neck tension can cause all sort of side effects, including pains in the head/headaches, dizziness, pins and needles in the extremities. If you can manage to get out to a physio, maybe a good massage might help you loosen up a bit and may give some relief? Please keep checking in on here so we know how you're doing. I hope things get better for you soon. You are not alone in this. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></div>", "date": "31-07-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" }, { "author": "user-id/22016", "content": "This is an old post but maybe it will be helpful to people like it was to me. I can relate 100% and then some to the anxious feelings around health and death. I have cost the taxpayer thousands of dollars in blood tests, scanning and imaging, hospital ER visits all because I convince myself i am on my last legs. Definitely triggered by my dad dying from a brain aneurysm when I was 9 and getting type 1 diabetes at 10. There was a time I thought, I shouldn’t be so healthy with how I live my life, very poor attention to diabetes, fast food, smoking, drinking you name it. I feel like at 27 I’m paying the price with early stage onset of complications. I think it has a lot to do with me feeling inadequate or as if I am not making the most of life subconsciously perhaps. I live alone, I work part-time, and spend much of my spare time by myself. That’s a whole new post for that suitcase.... Maybe I need spiritual guidance or a belief system? I just don’t want to end up in a cult scrubbing floors praising an alien.... all in all my advice is get the tests, because at the height of my anxiety attacks I have to reassure myself that the tests were clear and for all accounts I have nothing to worry about day-to-day. Maybe others have coping mechanisms they can share? Or even their own health related anxiety battle? HRH</div>", "date": "13-11-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" }, { "author": "user-id/47633", "content": "<p>I cannot sympathise more with your plight MrsX!</p><p>I have reoccurring anxiety attacks that I am having a stroke or that I am about to have one. My attacks normally involve physical symptoms that are somewhat similar to the warning signs of a stroke and once I realise that I’m having those sensations, my brain going into hyper drive and does everything in its power to convince me I am indeed experiencing a stroke or mini TIA- even though I am fully aware that my symptoms can also be attributed to a simple anxiety episode.. my biggest struggle is that while I know anxiety is a probable answer, there’s still a little internal voice that says “ok maybe it is just anxiety… BUT what if it’s not? What if it is Actually a stroke this time? Time is critical in stroke treatment… are you THAT confident that you’ll take the risk of missing early intervention” .. that dialogue goes on in my head for about 5-10 minutes and while I can never seem to convince myself of either possibilities and often become more concerned with each thought and every argument and counter argument I consider leads me no closer to a conclusion, I have come to use that anxiety panic and internal debate as my only comforting form of assessment - IF my thoughts are clear enough to facilitate that kind of internal debate and if I can verbally express part of my internal discussion then THERES LITTLE CHANCE THAT I AM ACTUALLY HAVING A STROKE.. </p><p>because the kind of functions required in order to preform complex reasoning actions are the very same functions that are affected during a stroke…</p><p>I basically use the panic attack to show me that I’m able to physically articulate the anxious thoughts and mentally fluid enough to think <span>them </span>in the first place without becoming confused then regardless of how irrationally convincing they may seem- they’re also my greatest tool to confirm that I am indeed NOT having a stroke… </p><p>Hopefully that silly trick might work for you too <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> I hope it does </p></div>", "date": "30-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-fear-of-a-stroke/td-p/311030" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/14689", "content": "I don’t really know if this will make sense but I don’t feel like this is a life worth living. I’m currently 20 I live at home with my mum and two younger sisters. My parents divorced last year due to a very toxic relationship. I’m studying at the moment. Basically I feel like my whole life is a joke, I know I’m only 20 but I don’t feel like I can continue on. Ever since I was a child I’ve been very timid. Being in an abusive household and being bullied for most of my life has definitely contributed to that. My social anxiety has terribly impacted my life. I can’t keep a job because I’m too dumb and socially awkward. Now I can’t even get past the interview stage of a job because I can’t speak up and when I do I nervously shake or can’t get my words out. Sometimes even just approaching people is daunting to me. Most of the feedback I get on my assignments is that I need to talk more. I just wish I was normal and functioned properly. This is so painful. I feel like I’m so socially unaware. I can’t even hold a proper adult conversation. I have friends but a few. I was medicated for social anxiety and depression a couple of years ago but I stopped because I felt better. I also participated in counseling but to be honest it didn’t really help. My mother is also very spiritual and religious and thinks that spiritual healing will get rid of this but it hasn’t. She also believes in witchcraft and that the witches have messed up my brain since I was a kid. It’s really hard to open up about this to my parents because they have come from a background where they’ve suffered severe trauma incomparable to this. Now I feel like I’m in a dark place again and there’s no way of getting out.</div>", "date": "18-07-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/6984", "content": "<p>This IS a life worth living! Remember, this is only a moment in your life and it won’t be like this forever. Tomorrow is a new day. </p>\n<p>It sounds like you really need to see your GP in relation to further help with medication and/or counseling. It doesn’t have to be this hard for you. You deserve that help. </p>\n<p>When I was your age I was going through a very similar situation and did not seek help. This led to years of anxiety and stress that I shouldn’t of had to endure. And now I’m 34 and still struggling with anxiety and social anxiety issues but am actually seeking help. I feel like I wasted so much time in my youth keeping all my feelings to myself and maybe I could’ve helped myself years ago and not feel like I do today.</p></div>", "date": "18-07-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/8525", "content": "hello Zmet, your ability to write is probably the best that I have seen and read. Your sentence formation and word flow is amazing. Find a good GP one who is understanding, see as many as you have to, to find one who cares and encourages you to take independant control of your health. Thats step one get your meds right and stay on them, then living with The Munsters will hardly even be an issue and in time your life will just flow as it should.</div>", "date": "19-07-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/34732", "content": "<p>Hi hope you’re all doing well </p>\n<p>i dont quite know what to start on so I’ll just say whatever that I have Anxiety across multiple areas. </p>\n<p>Main one at the moment is due to the facts of researching the negative effects of the 5G network and what is being said when researching online tells us that it is simply just not worth living it through when the possible health effects range all the way to very severe </p>\n<p>I really don’t know what to do now </p></div>", "date": "20-07-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/14689", "content": "Hi it’s me again, obviously things haven’t gotten better, I’m in a horrible state right now I feel like I’ve hit a dead end. I feel like the only reason I’m alive right now is because I don’t want to hurt my loved ones, but in saying that suicide has been constantly in my mind. I’m just so useless I really don’t have a purpose here, and the reasons why I haven’t brought myself to see a GP is because my depression and anxiety has gotten that bad that I can’t bring myself to seek help. I’ve seeked professional help before a couple years ago and yet I’m here still a mess. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I can’t be fixed. I’m really really screwed up there. Growing up I was bullied and one of the things people would call me was the r word and now I’m really starting to believe it. When I try talk to my friend about my dark thoughts I just get ignored and it makes me feel even more worse. I haven’t spoken to my mum about my thoughts because I don’t want to scare her. She also believes in witchcraft as opposed to mental health so it’s really a struggle. She is probably right tho I am probably cursed. I don’t know how long I can live this miserable life for. I don’t even know what to expect from posting this.</div>", "date": "05-08-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/20233", "content": "<p>Hi Zmet, </p>\n<p>I can only imagine how things are feeling for you right now. It sounds like you're in a mental state of pain that would be impossible for anyone to make sense of and find their own way out of. </p>\n<p>To that end, I really want to emphasize the value of reaching out to the people best placed to help us. You mentioned that you had previously worked with health professionals and that you ceased that process due to feeling better, but I want to suggest that the process might be more ongoing and part of our lifestyles than we perhaps care to admit - especially when feeling well! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p>\n<p>Irregardless of previous experiences, what you're describing now is a new episode of both your life as a person, and as a person going through something. I wonder about the value of comparing 'now' to 'then', and whether their is any comparisons that can be drawn regarding whether it will help you now. </p>\n<p>I hear you say that you feel you can't reach out - that's it's become too debilitating. How about making a call to a service like Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) or any other number of services that specialise in talking things out? The Suicide Call Back Service is also available on 1300 659 467 - they offer crisis intervention and counselling. </p>\n<p>Of course in more immediate crisis, 000 is always an option that should be considered. </p>\n<p>The overarching value of these services is the real time response you will get, and I believe that will go a long way in helping. These forums are great, however their is the reality that you might wait a day or two or even longer for someone to respond. </p>\n<p>I hope you choose to reach out to someone who is well placed to help. </p>\n<p>Please let us know how you get on. </p>\n<p>Talk soon. </p></div>", "date": "07-08-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" }, { "author": "user-id/47624", "content": "<p><u>Hi zmet, I landed here searching for help for myself and found your testimonials. You say things I can relate to. Only who has been there can understand what you are feeling, tho many try to help. I know sometimes you can feel trapped, but if you stick around you will get to live days that will make you glad you’re here. Maybe you haven’t got the right diagnosis, maybe there’s something very small you can do today to change your routine for the better. We need to be around people who understands us. Be careful with what you hear from your mom, she may have the best intentions but there’s a lot of ignorance around mental health issues and many times we end up feeling guilty for a condition or a state we didn’t choose. Don’t fall for the trap of trying to fit in, look for places where you’re welcome as you are. And remember that all this anxiety is making you feel and act in a different way, it’s like an overloaded system. Give yourself a chance to know a new you without depression. As I was thinking to myself, trying to find reasons worth living, I thought that if I could at least help others it would already be worth it. Hope you can find your reasons too.</u></p></div>", "date": "29-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-is-not-a-life-worth-living/td-p/476714" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47610", "content": "<p>i hate school because of the people. it tires me out. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_without_mouth:\">😶</span></p></div>", "date": "29-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/566540" }, { "author": "user-id/44836", "content": "<p>Hi there</p><p> </p><p>What is it exactly that you don't like about the people?</p><p>Is it the teachers? Or other students that you don't like? </p><p>School can be tricky to navigate sometimes.</p><p>If you could possibly give me some more information i might be able to help a little bit more.</p><p>Here if you want to chat</p><p> </p><p>Jx </p></div>", "date": "29-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/566540" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47595", "content": "<p>Unrelenting anxiety recently beset me. I'm retired and in my 70's. There is no apparent trigger. It in turn brings on depression. I force myself to walk a few short kms each day, use an exercise bike, do some light weights - these activities help. It is very difficult to motivate myself. What do suffers of these most unwelcome conditions do that helps reduce the impact of anxiety and depression on their daily lives? Your experiences /suggestions  that you have found beneficial may be helpful to me too. Please keep them age appropriate ie relevant to a senior. thank you forum members.</p></div>", "date": "28-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unrelenting-anxiety/td-p/566446" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>Donsgo,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you so much for posting here, welcome. Unrelenting anxiety also plagues my life, often without a visible trigger.</p><p> </p><p>Exercise is great, and it works for me too. But you're right, motivation is difficult. I'm not sure where I heard this, I think I might've been studying for my Year 12 exams and stumbled across a video where they said \"action comes before motivation\". Often, it's about forcing ourselves to just DO something, rather than waiting for motivation, which will come after we're immersed in the activity itself. Albeit, that's a lot harder to do than it sounds.</p><p> </p><p>I also heard this tip somewhere, which can be quite a useful temporary solution if you're suddenly feeling panicked or anxious. If you place your left hand just below your right shoulder and your right hand just below your left shoulder then stroke your arms, it offers some temporary relief. It's also a good subtle trick for when you're not feeling motivated to do something big.</p><p> </p><p>My anxiety tends to also manifest into tendencies with my hands, where I'll pick things or crack my knuckles. Fidget toys can be great for this, or even playing with a pen or small object. It helps to distract yourself. I get quite anxious before blood tests or vaccines, and keeping my hands occupied helps me get out all that nervous energy.</p><p> </p><p>Journalling is another great technique, and one of my personal favourites. Write about your experiences with anxiety, or how your day has been, or something entirely unrelated. Journalling doesn't have to be writing either - drawing or doodling may also help.</p><p> </p><p>What are your interests, if I may ask? Do you enjoy creative things, or are you particularly into exercise, or perhaps socialising? Engaging in things that you enjoy can also help ease anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>Hopefully this helps a little, please feel free to chat some more if you'd like!</p><p> </p><p>Take care, SB</p></div>", "date": "28-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unrelenting-anxiety/td-p/566446" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47586", "content": "<p>Hey all im looking for help to try overcome a trigger of mine. Ever since covid i have developed anxiety when ever i come in contact with someone that is sick or has a partner that is sick. I tend to spend days worrying if im going to get sick or not and it’s effecting my day to day life and sleep. It never was a issue in the past but only developed ever since covid started. </p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-caused-by-sick-people/td-p/566413" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome </p><p> </p><p>Intrusive thoughts and worry are 2 things that shaped my daily life some decades ago. They are harmful and often require therapy to allow yourself to discount those tendencies.</p><p> </p><p>During such therapy I was taught to ask myself \"is this thought realistic \"?  Eg I'm driving along and imagining my car breaking down, there's steam coming out. It's not real so such imagination creates only worry. Worry produces ulcers and nothing productive.</p><p> </p><p>Please google these-</p><p> </p><p>Beyondblue topic worry worry worry </p><p>Beyondblue topic distraction and variety </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes we need stable professionals to steer us on the right track. </p><p> </p><p>TonyWK </p></div>", "date": "28-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-caused-by-sick-people/td-p/566413" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/46681", "content": "<p>I have been offered a new job at a different company which would be a promotion, increase in responsibilities and a pay rise. My anxiety has kicked in and i am an emotional wreck. I know this new job is a great opportunity however the thought of resigning and going through the process of leaving and starting new is terrifying. I know that without taking risks there will be no reward but I still feel extremely anxious</p></div>", "date": "24-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-job-decision-big-anxiety/td-p/566205" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Cate26~</p><p>I guess the first thing to say is congratulations on being offered the new job. Just the offer is a compliment.</p><p> </p><p>Do you mind if I ask if the job you are thinking of leaving is the one where you were so nervous and unhappy you broke down? If so has that started to settle down now?</p><p> </p><p>I suppose the decision depends upon your circumstances, with rent rises and all the other increasing costs in life it may be necessary to get a better paying job, then maybe you have no choice.</p><p> </p><p>I would imagine stay or go you will be worrying and fretting over this for quite some time. If you are not doing so already could you see your GP in an extended consultation, explain how you have been feeling and see what happens?</p><p> </p><p>If you are lucky enough not to be dictated by finances then maybe it will boil down to the nature of the work involved.. Do you think the new position will have work you enjoy -more than what you are doing now? Some people will always head for the promotion and pay, while others value the satisfaction they may have now or will have as the deciding factor.</p><p> </p><p>Difficult to decide by yourself, and a difficult time ahead eihter way. May I ask if you have anyone in your life -family or a friend perhaps, who you can talk things over with and be cared for?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "24-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-job-decision-big-anxiety/td-p/566205" }, { "author": "user-id/46681", "content": "<p>Thank you for replying. The job I am leaving was the one that I was very nervous at. However I will probably be anxious wherever I work. I think I am worrying myself to the point of panic about resigning. It just sucks to be this anxious about a great opportunity. </p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-job-decision-big-anxiety/td-p/566205" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Cate26~</p><p>Yes, having the burden of nervousness with you whatever you decide is pretty horrible, I'd think it also makes decision making harder. You did say you would be anxious at the new job. I know you have been anxious at the old one.</p><p> </p><p>Do you think it is tme to look at ways of becoming less anxious in life, no mater what the job? Worry about resigning something you know to go to the unknown is a worry - no doubt about it, however your worry came before this and you anticipate it will continue on in any job.</p><p> </p><p>I know from my own experiencing that is no way to live, and help can be found. Imaging a life less ruled by anxiety. It is worth the effort to see what can be done.</p><p> </p><p>Do you think that might be a good idea?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-job-decision-big-anxiety/td-p/566205" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Cate26</p><p> </p><p>The first thing that came to mind when I read your post was 'Courage'. Like most folk, I once tended to see courage as this kind of strong and fearless thing. There is so much more to it. Courage can be a mix of fear and fearlessness, vulnerability and putting our self out there, self confidence and self doubt, determination and uncertainty. There is just so much to it. As courage churns around within us, gradually building and rising, we feel the churn. It is emotion (energy in motion) and at times it may be labeled as anxiety. No matter what we choose to call it, it is courage and sometimes courage needs to be managed.</p><p> </p><p>I think few of us are taught how to identify and manage courage as we're growing up. So, the question becomes 'How to do it?'. Until your post, I'd never considered skill development when it comes to working with courage. Btw, I thank you for raising my consciousness. Maybe the question we face at times is really 'How to manage <em>courage</em>?' instead of 'How to manage anxiety?'. What you're setting out to achieve is without a doubt courageous, therefor it could be a rise to courage that you may be feeling.</p><p> </p><p>With 'Courage' coming from the Latin word 'Cor' (heart), courage is a <em>feeling</em> that definitely impacts our heart rate.</p></div>", "date": "28-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-job-decision-big-anxiety/td-p/566205" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47567", "content": "<p>Hello, I'm feeling totally trapped and depressed by my own inability to make decisions. It's gotten to the point it's causing problems in my relationship and I feel so stupid. I just seem scared of everything. I need to consider absolutely everything all the time and it's exhausting. I need to look at every single option of everything- it's almost like an obsession. Just had a huge argument with my partner because of my indecision affecting our life and I feel I'm ruining everything. Feeling utterly useless right now. I also think I have a control issue and this may be an expression of it. I'm constantly feeling anxious, seems like I can't be relaxed anymore. Just more and more things make me anxious, even the least important things worry me and sometimes even scare me. I don't know who to talk to, I've also been avoiding my friends for long time, don't even know why. </p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Hereandthere,</p><p> </p><p>I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time. It’s okay to feel anxious and indecisive sometimes. You’re not alone.</p><p> </p><p>I have found an article that might be helpful - 'Inability to make decisions – what’s the link with anxiety?' </p><p><a href=\"https://myonlinetherapy.com/inability-to-make-decisions-anxiety/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Inability to make decisions - what’s the link with anxiety? | My Online Therapy</a></p><p> </p><p>It might also be helpful to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. A therapist or counselor can help you work through your anxiety and indecisiveness. You could also try talking to a trusted friend or family member. Calling Beyondblue hotline (24/7) to talk to a professional is also a great idea.</p><p> </p><p>Hope it helps a bit.</p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/47567", "content": "<p>Hi Mark, </p><p> </p><p>Thank you very much for your words, they are really very helpful. I will have a look at the link you sent, and I agree I should talk to a counselor also, or some of the profesionals here as you suggested. This problem has been happening for a long time but in some ways I feel it's gotten worse. So it's probably time to get some additional help. Yesterday I was feeling very distressed. Today I feel calmer but the problem is still there so I really need to deal with it.</p><p>Thank you very much for your help, it is very appreciated. </p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Hereandthere, being trapped by not making a decision is part of this illness, because we have learnt that making a decision always seems to be a wrong one, as seen by others and that's why we eventually leave any decisions to be made by someone else.</p><p>By feeling anxious this constantly happens because we don't have the ability to be able to think clearly, but this is not your fault, this illness causes this.</p><p>If you can manage to talk with a psychologist they will then determine any possible reasons.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>I know from my own experiences that the fear of what others will think if I stuff up can make it hard. This only applies if there are critical people in your life.</p><p>Maybe try small decisions which have minimal risk to build up your confidence.</p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Hereandthere,</p><p> </p><p>No worries at all. I think you have great self awareness, it will be helpful when talking to a professional. I believe you will be on the right track after starting this process. </p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, I know it's challenging, but don't forget to take care of yourself physically. Try to have enough sleep, eat heathy food, do some regular light exercise such as walking in the park, do something you enjoy including with your partner.</p><p> </p><p>Hope everything will be better.</p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Hereandthere</p><p> </p><p>What you're facing sounds so incredibly stressful. When I think about the handful of skills we're taught in life, growing up, 'How to <em>stop</em> thinking or over thinking' is definitely not one of them. 'How to manage making decisions' can be another. With life seemingly a 'Learn as you go' experience, there are hundreds of skills we're not taught from a young age and we can definitely suffer through that while being forced to develop them at some point.</p><p> </p><p>Whether it's about how to make the big decisions or how to make the small ones, there can be so much involved in decision making. How to make thoughtless ones (aka 'Simply going with your gut or gut instinct) is a skill worth exercising. How to make a fearful decision can be another. How to decide fearlessly, another. How to give our self no choice in the matter is another. How to decide as a group (friends, family, work colleagues etc) another skill. Knowing <em>when</em> to sit back and take a break from decision making/challenge is yet another skill, especially when we're being overwhelmed with challenge and having to make choices. Sometimes, not having to make decisions is the relief we need. How to take a step back and let others decide is another skill. </p><p> </p><p>I've found a strange one to manage is when various facets of myself are in battle. To offer an example: If someone was to ask me to drive them to the airport and I have to decide whether I'm going to do it, cue the people pleaser in me, the sage, the stresser, the commander and whatever else pops in. Btw, I fear driving to the airport. The people pleaser in me will dictate 'You <em>have</em> to drive them, it's the nice thing to do'. The sage in me will dictate 'Simply suggest you'll drive them down the road to catch the airport bus. The bus driver will take them through all that traffic'. The stresser in me will dictate 'You <em>can't</em> take them. It's a terrible drive of hypervigilance and stress, through all that traffic and with all those turn offs'. The commander may dictate 'Get your sh** together soldier and stop behaving like a baby. Make a goddamned decision!!!'. While the sage offers some good advice, when the person asking me to drive them starts to beg or lead me to feel bad about not taking them, cue the people pleaser in me and it all ramps up to next level stress and indecision with it all going 'round again. Inner dialogue can be a mongrel, that's for sure.</p><p> </p><p>I've found a good and strong imagination can be a truly brilliant and liberating thing but not always, especially when it gets in the way. Imagining the best case scenario is great but when you're also imagining the worst and every possible scenario in between, it becomes time consuming, fearful, confusing and it can make it so hard to decide on the best course of action. How to manage the imagination/our vision of things can be a massive challenge and something we may never have been taught to do before in strategic ways.</p></div>", "date": "28-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trapped-by-indecision/td-p/566301" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47581", "content": "<p>I have been feeling ongoing pain in my marriage . Being belittled and used is making me physically sick. I don't know which way to turn . I am stuck. I value relationships , love and forgive me husband and two children easily but my depression and anxiety and repetitive negative exeriences has me trapped and my joy for life and my will to live or enjoy anything has completely disolved over the last 5 years . I am merely surviving as the emotional pain and loneliness and fear is killing me from the inside out . I have isolated myself for so long to avoid pain but i literally feel like I'm dying from brokeness.</p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lonely-and-stuck/td-p/566384" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello, if you value your relationship/marriage but in the mean time you are being 'belittled and feel used' then it's not what you are after and has now begun the downfall of how you are feeling, then that is not good, but forgiving your husband and two children is not necessarily going to make this situation any better, only worse.</p><p>I can't say what you should do, but I can suggest that you need to move away from this position so that you can get the counselling you need.</p><p>I could also suggest family counselling, however, I don't feel as though this would be accepted by your husband, simply because he likes his position as being on top.</p><p>Doing this may seem as though you are letting your family down, but this isn't true, it's all about making sure you can regain your strength, which is so important, because you have been denied this for a long time.</p><p>Things need to be changed and you can only do this if you aren't with them.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lonely-and-stuck/td-p/566384" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hello,</p><p> </p><p>I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Nothing worse than the person you chose in life directly contributing to your suffering. Geoff's suggestion of counseling sounds like it could help. Whether that be your own or couples counseling.</p><p>I think at the very least you should have a sincere heart to heart with your partner, say anything you feel the need to. A loving partner will fill sorrow and wish to change, as directly causing harm to someone you love is a terrible thing to do.</p><p> </p><p>Please put yourself first, it doesn't make you a bad person to do what's right for you, and it never will. Marriages have their ups and downs, but five years seems like this is becoming the norm and you have to make a stand so it changes.</p><p> </p><p>If you have any family you can see/talk to on the phone, that could help with the immediate loneliness, or even going away for a couple days to see them could help for the time being.</p><p> </p><p>I can't say what you should do, as only you know that, but that gut feeling, listen to that. You don't deserve to be belittled, nobody does.</p><p> </p><p>Hope your situation improves, I really am so sorry you're going through this.</p></div>", "date": "27-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lonely-and-stuck/td-p/566384" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47293", "content": "<p>Hello, I am new to the forum and to asking for help and advice.</p><p> </p><p>I lost my job a month ago. I spent nearly 3 years there, it had its ups and downs as there was a toxic undercurrent within the company and the older team that surfaced every now and then. Progression of new things was slow due to higher up management. I realized early on that the negativity could affect me greatly as I am empathic and introvert (bottle things up), and that my supervisor was the main contributor to the issues and anger at work, but I was confident I could deal with it and was enticed to stay as my manager had plans to make the farm stand out and evolve with the old team eventually retiring in the next few years.</p><p>Unfortunately due to a variety of things in and out of work I became very stressed and showing signs of anxiety. Didn't know it at the time, but having time now to analyze things, I realize that that is what happened. I stopped looking after myself, bottled everything up and kept absorbing the negativity other people were carrying. I was in a fog, going through the motions, zooming everywhere and not being able to stop and realize what was happening even though I was living it. I got sick and had tight gut feelings even thinking about work, and stopped eating properly. I felt alone, and when I was at work especially around others I felt I was walking on eggshells, while trying to figure out what I was doing to upset them.</p><p>I didn't know how to quit my job, nor how to help myself or ask for it. I know I'm not entirely responsible for what happened and I am upset that they didn't own up to their part in it and that I wasn't supported, especially since some of them were supposedly my friends, I was a great worker and they are a 'well being' company. </p><p>I spent the last few weeks on and off stressing about getting an job and my stress and anxiety following me. I am making some progress as I have been trying out what I've been researching - how to manage them in different ways, it is a struggle though.  Smiling feels strange too.</p><p> </p><p>I'd appreciate any advice on what you use or what tricks you have created to help deal with stress and anxiety, or in building confidence or even how to heal from what I just went through. How can I start a job while dealing with this?</p><p>Thank you for your time</p></div>", "date": "04-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-lost-my-job-appreciate-advice/td-p/564806" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi GC,</p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you went through what you did at work and ended up leaving your job. It sounds like you have been suffering from a lot of stress and anxiety which is very common amongst people in high pressure situations. It is good that you have recognised that. In terms of next steps, the best thing to do would be to recognise your issues and seek professional help. You can see your GP and explain exactly what you have here and ask for a referral to a psychologist. They can help you with strategies to manage stress and anxiety as well as a range of things. I have attached some more information about anxiety here: <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety</a> </p><p>In terms of tips on managing anxiety there are a range of things you could do including meditation, journalling, breathing exercises and many more. Here are 10 listed here: <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strate...</a> </p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps a little bit. Keep us posted on how you're going and all the best with the job hunt.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "06-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-lost-my-job-appreciate-advice/td-p/564806" }, { "author": "user-id/47293", "content": "<p>Hello Bob</p><p> </p><p>Sorry about the delay in getting back to you. I read your reply then started trying different things to get back to the positive me, in between job hunting.</p><p>Thank you for the links and tips they have been helping. I think right now my lack of socialness is the biggest issue so I have been starting to go to dog parks I can meet people. I have also made a list of volunteering, free events and classes I'm going to look at applying for. </p><p>I had one session with a professional and have found a job/life coach to assist in evolving my thought process and career direction. So far, I have discovered more about why I burnt out, and that i have been blaming myself for other people's mistakes, decisions and how they treated me. I have also discovered what I need from my future employer/s (environment type, values, interaction, interests, etc). </p><p>I found some apps that are advertised on Head to Health website and found them to be helpful in meditation, thinking, and organizing. They also have free digital workshops I haven't tried yet. </p><p>Apart from that I have been trying to stay scheduled throughout the day and have been going out for walks to reconnect with nature and have been trying a book called 365 days of Creativity. It contains small activities anyone can do. </p><p>My main worries at the moment are my draining bank account, finding work, and my long list of things that have to be done. I find picking one main thing on the list that has to be done that day and then picking 5 backups is working, though I still feel the pressure of the rest. </p><p>For now I am a \"work in progress' I still feel sometimes down, sometimes lost and sometimes upset with myself, but I am now starting to have purpose and feel more valued. I will catch you up on my progress, and I hope what I've written above can help someone else.</p><p>Thankyou for connecting, its truly appreciated.</p></div>", "date": "23-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-lost-my-job-appreciate-advice/td-p/564806" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi GC-435_m,</p><p> </p><p>No need to be sorry at all. Thanks for your update. It's so good to hear that you've been taking active steps to improving your mental health and learning about it as well. The calm app is another great app which has breathing and mindfulness exercises on there also (I believe it is paid however). </p><p> </p><p>I understand that you are worried about finances and work. They are part of the reality of the world we live in. I would say this however, your mental health is one of the most important assets in life and I would certainly prioritise when possible. I have found that when I'm doing well mentally and in a good headspace everything else tends to fall into place. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks again for sharing and for updating. Looking forward to hearing more.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-lost-my-job-appreciate-advice/td-p/564806" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47477", "content": "<p>TRIGGER</p><p>Latley when my boyfriend goes to work in brisbane and I am left home alone I have been constantly eating. I know and understand that I am full but I just want more and more, I really need support with this. I honestly don’t know how to help it, I understand that it may be for comfort but it doesn’t stop me from overeating. I’ve been looking in the mirror latley and I honestly am disgusted with how much weight I have put on. help if you can.</p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/binge-eating-anxiety/td-p/565770" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Jade20~</p><p>I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum, it is was a good move on your part and as you can look around and you will see others in similar situations.</p><p> </p><p>First off I\"m glad to hear you have a boyfriend, it make a huge difference to have someone close. Perhaps it is that very closeness that raises fears as it means so much to you. For it to end would be unthinkable.</p><p> </p><p>Worry of this sort can come out in many ways, and overeating is one frequently used. It dos not really help but you are sort of stuck into doing it. Then you are understandably unhappy with the results. and that make you regard yourself as less than you really are.</p><p> </p><p>Trying to get out if this way of dealing with these things is hard, in fact on your own it may not be possible.  With another problem I could not. Can I suggest you get in contact with the <a href=\"https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Butterfly Foundation,</a> they are knowledgeable, professional and comforting.</p><p> </p><p>The fact you have come here is an excellent start and I'd be pretty certain you can change how you  react.</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/binge-eating-anxiety/td-p/565770" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Jade20~</p><p>I'd like to welcome you here to hte Forum, it is was a good move on your part and as you can look around and see others in similar situations.</p><p> </p><p>First off I'm glad to hear you have a boyfriend, it make a huge difference to have someone close. Perhaps it is that very closeness that raises fears as it means so much to you. For it to end would be unthinkable.</p><p> </p><p>Worry of this sort can come out in many ways, and overeating is one frequently used. It dos not really help but you are sort of stuck into doing it. Then yoou are understandably unhappy with the results. and that makes you regard yourself as less than you really are.</p><p> </p><p>I, wiht another problem, could not 'fix' myself and it was only after I got competent medical help that I improved -not I'im a different person</p><p> </p><p>Trying ot get out if this way of dealing with these things is hard, in fact on your own it may not be possible.</p><p> </p><p>May I suggest you get some assistance? A first port of call an be the Butterfly Foundation</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/binge-eating-anxiety/td-p/565770" }, { "author": "user-id/47334", "content": "<p>Hi Jade20,</p><p> </p><p>Congratulations on getting on this platform and reaching out for some help. It’s not easy and it’s an honourable step in your journey. </p><p> </p><p>If you take a look around on Beyond Blue you can find services that have professional knowledge and the right tools to help you out. The team on beyond blue are equipped to give you the help you are asking for and more. </p><p> </p><p>Reaching out for help for those with binge eating disorders can be so difficult and you’ve already taken the steps of acknowledgment and desire to change!! </p><p>Take a look at the resources available,</p><p>yours_truly</p></div>", "date": "23-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/binge-eating-anxiety/td-p/565770" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>hi there,</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry to hear you are going through this, it must be hard for you. We are here to support you and help you through this. </p><p> </p><p>Have you considered seeing a doctor or MH professional about this? That may help. As Croix said, the fact you have come here and reached out is amazing. You can continue to momentum and hopefully see someone who is a professional in this area.</p><p> </p><p>I hope that things get better soon,</p><p> </p><p>Jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "24-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/binge-eating-anxiety/td-p/565770" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47489", "content": "<p>I have realised that my supervisor at work is a major trigger. My supervisor says she’s supportive (and I do know she is) but her actions are completely different.  Part of my struggle is that she also doesn’t understand how anxiety can affect people.  Some of how I deal with my anxiety are being completely misunderstood.</p><p> </p><p>Any suggestions on how can I get though this</p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trigger-for-my-anxiety/td-p/565811" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Nicky01~</p><p>Welcome to the Forum, I'd expect if you look around you may find others in similar situations. It's true those who have not experienced anxiety can have a great deal of difficulty in understanding how it affects people.</p><p> </p><p>As an example at one stage I could not go down my drive to the letterbox and only answered the phone with great hesitation. Who would have predicted that?</p><p> </p><p>Do you mind if I ask about the sorts of coping you do that might be difficult for your supervisor to get the  idea?</p><p> </p><p>You mention she thinks she is being supportive - even if it does not work out that way. Do you think she would be happy to listen to you explain matters? It's possible she may have good intent.</p><p> </p><p>If you would like to let us know how you get on that would be great</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trigger-for-my-anxiety/td-p/565811" }, { "author": "user-id/47334", "content": "<p>Hi Nicky01,</p><p> </p><p>I’m so sorry to hear that you have had to go through that at your workplace. </p><p> </p><p>I think your first option would be to talk to your supervisor and let her know that what she is doing is quite triggering. As you have mentioned she is supportive so it’s likely that she would hear you out and try to change. I know with anxiety even just normal conversation is difficult. There was one night where I just went hungry because even though I had the money, I didn’t want to make the phone call and place the order. However, mustering up the courage to have this conversation will give great benefits for the long run. In my case, I wouldn’t have gone hungry and harmed my health. If your supervisor is supportive i’m sure she is sweet and would be someone you are willing to talk to.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck,</p><p>yours_truly</p></div>", "date": "23-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trigger-for-my-anxiety/td-p/565811" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/3437", "content": "<p>Hi. </p><p>My gp has been raising my mental health since the start of 2021 but has not really guided me I guess. It is my fault as I did not reaction well to antidepressants at the start of 2021 and made my feelings clear. I have rejected 2 MHTP just before they were due to be done. </p><p>I did start seeing a mental health social worker last year but I felt worse after each appt. I  started seeing a psychologist in Feb and I do actually like him but not sure if it is helping or I am just not putting enough work in with his plans. Eg progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, sleep schedule and recently induced vomiting.</p><p>I saw my neurologist in Feb and the appointment did not go well . I think I was withdrawn and a bit all over the place at the same time. Pretty sure he wrote about my mental health and after that 2 random gps questioned me about my MH. The last time I saw my normal GP I told him about the 2 queries and he was just happy that they had read the notes. I told him that 'I know that I am stressed and I am an overthinker but my mental health was fine'. He said that it must be annoying yo be asked all the time and of course I said yes. I have not told him that I am seeing a psychologist as I fear the judgement but I may be making my situation worse by not mentioning it. I am afraid that he thinks that I don't have insight as I avoid the topic but I am fully aware of my short comings. I just don't know how to talk about it as drs make me nervous.</p><p>An inquest was done into my dads death and the findings came back in Jan and I think this has made it worse. I have my next appt with my normal gp at the start of July. I feel that I need to address my mental health and the fact that I am seeking help but I am afraid that I will be dismissed, pitied . I know my fears are probably irrational but I can't help it.</p><p>Sorry that this has been a bit disjointed and rambling but I have no one I can discuss it with.</p><p>Thank you for your time.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-discomfort-with-doctors/td-p/565912" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Hey Natalie,</p><p> </p><p>If I have learnt anything over the last 3 months it’s that sometimes seeking a new GP is better than the original one, if you do not feel comfortable with your current GP and how they treat you, it’s definitely time for a new one, I’ve recently just started my journey again with anti depressants and psychology and I definitely can understand that feeling of being embarrassed by the fact your mental health needs help, but, there’s nothing wrong with admitting and seeking help, I’m so proud of you for doing those steps on your own, all you can do is tell your GP and how they react is a character of their own personality. <br><br></p><p>It’s always best your GP knows what’s going on too, I have learnt that the hard way recently too. Always be honest with them, they’re here to help us not judge us.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you get the best outcome <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "20-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-discomfort-with-doctors/td-p/565912" }, { "author": "user-id/10213", "content": "<p>Don't be afraid to look for a new GP. I had problems with one years ago. I was seeing a psychologist who my GP had recommended. The therapist ended up inferring that I was autistic, which I'm not, and consequently I stopped seeing him. Because I told my GP it wasn't working out, she got offended and blamed me for my anxiety attacks. \"Well that's why you were supposed to keep seeing ...\"  Some GPs are simply not very understanding when it comes to mental health and find it very hard to listen to your concerns. It didn't dawn on me until months later when I was speaking to a pharmacist and he simply said to find a new one.</p></div>", "date": "20-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-discomfort-with-doctors/td-p/565912" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Hi all, </p><p> </p><p>Me again, I’ve recently discovered that my anxiety has been sky rocketed and it cannot come down naturally no matter how hard I try, if anyone has seen my posts before you’d know my dr cold Turkey me off anti depressants in February and went through a really scary withdrawal with no support or supervision, my new dr wants to trial me on small doses of another anti depressant and start psychology, I guess I’m scared and defeated I have to start again and knowing that when I’m ready to come off my mind goes to what if it happens again….if that makes sense</p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Absolutely is available chicky, seen some great reviews, I personally know a lady who is on it she swears by it, it is expensive but I mean if it gets you along with the day, I think I just need to get my body back down to a base line, learn coping and skills than re come off and use something like cbd to take the edge off, these last couple months have been horrid , I also use magnesium glycinate which is amazing for calming <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Omg I just realised I said chicky when I don’t even know you, I’m so sorry. Nature of habit <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":anxious_face_with_sweat:\">😰</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Aw I'm sorry to hear the last couple of months have been hard for you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> And that's all good lol, just means we get along <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> I'm on magnesium chelate, I'm not sure if there's a big difference between the two? I think it helps a bit too. That sounds like a plan! Really hope smoloft helps you reach your baseline again.<br><br>Hope the coming months are complete opposite <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Caite, if you have anxiety, then the changes of it coming down by itself is a hard ask, because usually it takes a massive effort by someone who can focus on the good in life, but if you have been struggling then it's very difficult.</p><p>To take any type of AD is to help someone balance their thoughts, we don't worry if we have to take a headache tablet and neither should taking an AD, both help our mind with these problems we're having.</p><p>You should never feel defeated, life isn't easy and of course we all have problems, so starting AD's on a small dose is certainly a good way to start your treatment.</p><p>Your ability to come of AD's needs to be decided by your doctor and how you are feeling over a long period, because if you have twoo good weeks, that's great, but it doesn't mean you are ready to stop, because you need to experience difficult times along the way and stopping depends on how you are able to cope in these situations.</p><p>Having anxiety and/or depression is not failing, all you need is some help to get over these times, because at this point you find your position very hard to cope with, so it's just like having a headache tablet, to get you back on track.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "20-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Thanks Geoff, yeah that’s very true, I just guess my main sadness is around the fact I was cold Turkey and went through a very rough 3 months and now starting again, I know it’s what’s best for me and my life right now, sometimes it’s just hard to come to terms with if that makes sense </p><p> </p><p>thanks caite <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p></div>", "date": "20-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Caite, your doctor should have cut down your medication slowly, although I'm not a doctor to say, but realistically you think that would be the best option, because you have to struggle through this and them.</p><p>I know that none of us would have to take AD's, but this new type may overcome your anxiety in a completely different way, meaning that you may not have to take them for that long.</p><p>I wish you the very best and please keep us informed as to how it's going.</p><p>Geoff.</p><p>Life Member.</p></div>", "date": "20-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Hi all, </p><p> </p><p>Me again, I’ve recently discovered that my anxiety has been sky rocketed and it cannot come down naturally no matter how hard I try, if anyone has seen my posts before you’d know my dr cold Turkey me off anti depressants in February and went through a really scary withdrawal with no support or supervision, my new dr wants to trial me on small doses of another anti depressant and start psychology, I guess I’m scared and defeated I have to start again and knowing that when I’m ready to come off my mind goes to what if it happens again….if that makes sense</p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hey Catie,</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I had to ween off anti-depressants to try another one too. I had brain zaps that were a bit disorienting and felt really bad the one time I tried to just stop my full dosage and not widdle down to the lowest available </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I have a psyche appointment tomorrow! And I'm nervous! I've seen her once before but that was 3 months ago. What I tell myself is \"I'm literally doing the best thing I can for my anxiety\". It's enough of a push I guess to follow through. Just know that this step is a huge achievement and I'm proud of you for putting yourself first. It isn't an easy thing and can make you feel quite vulnerable or scared, but you're doing the best thing you can to help yourself. This is huge!<br>\n </p>\n\n<p>I had similar worries of \"what if it happens again\" with my panic attacks so I think I can relate with that feeling, although yours is different. You aren't alone <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span> All I can really offer is some hopefully comforting words. Setbacks are unfortunately a part of recovery that I think we all struggle with.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Hope this helped <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😄</span> Feel better <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Hey Flop,</p><p> </p><p>Yeah it’s a bit disheartening coming off them with your drs instructions of “here’s 4 days you’ll be fine” after so many years on them and no psychology or counselling to learn how to cope when coming off them, it’s been a horrible 3 months, I just stress I’m going backwards but you’re right it’s the best thing for my anxiety, I mainly just struggle with leaving the house to do chores on my own now, my panic attacks left maybe 2 months ago.</p><p> </p><p>I hope yours improve or have improved. I’m proud of you too <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Unfortunately each doctor handles situations differently and there isn't a strict code for how to go about certain situations. I think a lot of doctors would probably disagree, especially if you've been on it for years. I was on mine for 2+ years when I decided to try another. Tried once cold turkey and felt like I was dying, or something very similar. Not fun lol.</p><p> </p><p>I understand that too, leaving the house for me is quite spooky at the moment, to put it lightly. Once you're out and about you'll notice that it's nothing to worry about, but the dread prior is real. My panic attacks have been much better since I first started trying to overcome it, and I'm super glad yours have left you. It's encouraging that they can be beat! (I haven't had one in ages but I feel like It's still a worry in the back of my mind)</p><p> </p><p>It sounds to me like you're on your way forwards, new avenues awaiting you. That feeling though can be quite consuming. Try not to get caught up in it. You're doing really great! New medication + psychology could be a life changer. It's completely okay if you have a day you aren't feeling it, set backs and downward spirals, we'll overcome it in the end. Don't beat yourself up. A common phase I've heard that is meant to help with a multitude of anxious invoking situations or feelings is: \"This too shall pass\", and so will that backwards feeling <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "18-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Thank you, yeah I think it’s just waiting for my medication to kick in now it’s only been 2 days so I’m still anxious and all those fun things, I’m sure in a week I’ll be back to normal</p><p> </p><p>Panic attacks for me were a night time thing for me when I was 17-19 now I’m 23 it’s mainly just figuring out life anxiety in all honesty haha </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>It'll take a little bit to kick in, I'm sure you'll be fine in a week too.</p><p> </p><p>My panic attacks I think stemmed from agoraphobia/social anxiety to some degree, but I haven't had one in probably over a year. Went to my psyche today and it was quite motivating. Your first session will mostly be getting to know you. I'm 23 also and dealing with that very thing lol. You aren't alone at all... I'm sure we'll figure it out...</p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Feeling a bit space cadet today and hot flushes, yeah I thought it would take a bit, I’m so glad your appointment went well, oh look at us go, it’s crazy how insane anxiety and depression can take over </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Aw it is, we'll make it through in the end, and thank you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span><br><br>Rest up today, that sounds awful to deal with <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span> Hopefully tomorrow you aren't feeling as bad. If you don't feel the edge being taken off after awhile, could mean your dosage needs to be adjusted, but time will tell. Feel better <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Yeah I’m being a bit bad and only starting on half a 50mg tablet, dr said 1 a day but I like to start slow cause I had an allergic reaction to a different one last weekend, I’ll definitely see how I go my next option is CBD oil <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>I wasn't aware a doctor would be able to prescribe that in Australia. Just did some research and the benefits seem similar to an anti-depressant, might be a good thing to look into if your doctor's willing and this doesn't work out. Seems as though your doc would have to reach out to a third party to see if you're eligible then you'd be approved to try it for 12 months</p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-like-i-m-going-backwards/td-p/565793" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/28032", "content": "I have a video game collecting addiction.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nI spend most of my money on video games, even if i owe money to my parents.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nI have spent $1000's on video games, and most the time I don't even play video games.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nThe worst part of this is that i'm totally obsessed with the condition of my video games that's including the paper inserts, case and the disc.<br>\nRecently the paper inserts of my video games, got a little bit ruined by moisture, and now some<br>\nof them have wrinkly artwork which very makes me obsessed, anxious and depressed.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nA few years ago, I threw out all my video games, because I thought they were contaminated with germs. And then after that I started re-buying them again.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nThis is a problem I have been having for a few years.<br>\nAnd what makes this problem worse, is that I have no friends, I'm lonely, I have anxiety and depression , OCD, ADHD , very low self esteem, and no life really.<br>\n<br>\n<br>\nPlease any positive feedback would help, thanks.</div>", "date": "24-10-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Blue_Moon, although I'm not a qualified doctor, what you have told us indicates that you display signs of having obsessions/compulsions present in OCD and yes, I've heard this happen to other people who had possessions they had collected, but somehow became damaged and needed to start a new collection that was brand new.</p>\n<p>I can understand what you've said as I too have OCD and know that if I had something I was using that I was fixated on, I had to have a brand new one that I wouldn't use.</p>\n<p>Can I ask whether or not you've contacted your doctor because professional help is available to help you with this illness.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p></div>", "date": "24-10-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/28032", "content": "Hello Geoff,<br>\n<br>\nThanks for the reply. <br>\nI contacted my doctor a few years ago, and got professional help. They gave me medication and that helped,<br>\nand I saw a few psychiatrists which didn't help.<br></div>", "date": "26-10-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello _Blue_Moon, are you able to go back and visit your doctor and ask if you could be referred to a psychologist using the 'mental health plan', this allows Medicare to pay for 10 sessions per year and I've been counselled by psychiatrists but much prefer talking with a psychologist, others may differ and that's their choice.</p>\n<p>The doctor may want you to start taking medication again and if by any chance it's a new doctor explain what's happened before and the situation now.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p></div>", "date": "26-10-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/16720", "content": "<p>Hi there. I used to have a similar problem except mine was not video games, mine was blu ray discs. I’ve spent like a thousand dollars on them. It took some time for me to stop collecting because collecting blu rays became my hobby. When you say your video games were contaminated, I think that’s an OCD problem. The first step is to find a psychologist that specialises in addiction.</p>\n<p>kind thoughts</p></div>", "date": "26-10-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/44335", "content": "<p>There are those people that buy stuff only because it's a game they don't have, going a little too far. However, since video games CAN be stored on a shelf for a long time and still be playable years later, it's not the worst thing you can hoard.   Some years ago I was also addicted to collecting Pokemon cards.</p>\n\n<p>It all boils down to whether you enjoy what you do and are doing it with a purpose. Even if I don't buy more than 20 games a week, I'm content to acquire what I can for the systems I enjoy collecting for.</p></div>", "date": "14-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Blue Moon,</p><p> </p><p><span class=\"\">Welcome to the forum.</span></p><p>I'm sorry for your challenge. I can tell that it's very frustrating.</p><p> </p><p>However as I know, there're people with similar hobby (collecting video games) who really enjoy it, and their lives are not affected much. The key question is how do you balance it. I don't think forcing yourself to complete stop from what you love to do is not a great idea.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, maybe you can set up some rules for yourself, such as budget limit, time limit, purchase frequency limit. Maybe you only reward yourself by buying a game when you feel you have achieved something. </p><p> </p><p>Mark</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "16-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/46196", "content": "<p>It's important to find a balance between your hobbies and responsibilities. While having an interest in video game collecting can be enjoyable, it's not healthy to prioritize it over other obligations, such as paying back money you owe to your parents. This could lead to financial problems in the long term and potentially harm your relationships.</p><p>I would suggest speaking with your parents about the situation and coming up with a plan to pay them back while still allowing you to pursue your interests. Additionally, consider setting a budget for your video game purchases to help you control your spending. You could also look into finding other ways to enjoy your hobby, such as attending local video game events or trading games with others, that don't involve spending as much money.</p></div>", "date": "11-02-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" }, { "author": "user-id/47496", "content": "<p>Hi, I'm also a huge game addict and I've been addicted to the techloky game mod apk genre for a very long time. It really helps a lot in my entertainment. But it seems that now I don't play as much as before and I have to arrange it in a suitable time so as not to affect my health.</p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/video-game-collecting-addiction/td-p/5429" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/22168", "content": "<p>Hi all, I recently graduated from my teaching degree, which I felt proud of accomplishing. During my study I felt optimistic about the career as I enjoyed the topics and felt achievement whenever I passed a unit/placement. However, now in hindsight I feel like it was more so about feeling accomplishment rather than feeling passion for the career itself. This is because now that it comes to going for a job I feel debilitating anxiety to the point where I feel unmotivated and dread to even try the industry. I am medicated for anxiety and depression already and struggle a lot with life transitions, so it makes it feel almost impossible to try the profession. I am quite comfortable in my current job as I feel I am good at it so this makes it harder too. I feel a lot of anxiety around the guilt of not entering the profession and have been struggling with very low mood and lack of motivation.</p><p> </p><p>Any advice is appreciated. </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/graduate-feeling-stuck/td-p/565849" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>Hey Kaityo,</p><p> </p><p>I have been in a similar situation a couple years back, I was in my hairdressing era and decided to take the plunge and study business at the same time, when it came time to choosing I felt like I had wasted my time in the current job, i decided to change over due to an incident that occurred with another coworker at the time so that kinda helped me more, however, just remember change is scary and believe me I have been going through it this year too, my dr cold Turkey me off anti depressants back in February and have been going through a scary withdrawal now my anxiety and depression are so debilitating I have to go back on medication and feel that same weight you are. Do what’s best for you, and hey if you don’t use your diploma, at least you can say you’ve done it, there’s nothing wrong with being scared of change, however, sometimes change is what is best for us, I recently left a job I loved and was amazing at cause it just wasn’t the right fit anymore, it was scary and sad but the best thing I did.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry I tend to rant a bit I hope that makes sense. <br><br>You got this, and whatever decision you make will be the best <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/graduate-feeling-stuck/td-p/565849" }, { "author": "user-id/22168", "content": "<p>Thank you for your response Caite, it definitely makes sense. Undertaking my course was a huge deal as it pushed me out of my comfort zone, which was a great accomplishment, especially due to having anxiety and depression.. and to top it off a stutter.. I find anticipated life changes/transitions particularly tough as I feel my body naturally goes into a state where I feel sluggish, physically sick and a bit hopeless tbh.. even without overthinking it. </p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/graduate-feeling-stuck/td-p/565849" }, { "author": "user-id/46593", "content": "<p>I definitely understand that feeling I’m currently having it and forcing myself through new medication and exposures therapy by myself as I’m stuck at home scared to leave without my partner, doing what makes you feel comfortable is always the best option</p></div>", "date": "19-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/graduate-feeling-stuck/td-p/565849" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/9698", "content": "<p>Hello!</p>\n<p>I have recently come home from inpatient treatment for anxiety, depression and disordered eating (bingeing). One thing I am supposed to be doing more of in my recovery is cooking (rather than letting my partner do it). </p>\n<p>I don't enjoy cooking, and since I've also had to quit sugar (treatment of IBS), I am finding it even less enjoyable. But since I've come home I seem to be feeling even more anxious than usual about it. I get overwhelmed about having to cook, overwhelmed about planning what we are eating and overwhelmed about shopping. </p>\n<p>What's going on? Do other people experience extreme anxiety about cooking? How have you overcome it? What are some strategies to manage it so that we can eat a normal dinner without it becoming a catastrophic event?</p></div>", "date": "23-03-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Go you <strong>girlonsafari</strong>!</p>\n<p>That's so awesome and you should be proud of yourself! We are proud of you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16903", "content": "<p>Everyone's experience is unique, so what works for one person may not work for another.</p></div>", "date": "17-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9698", "content": "<p>Hello!</p>\n<p>I have recently come home from inpatient treatment for anxiety, depression and disordered eating (bingeing). One thing I am supposed to be doing more of in my recovery is cooking (rather than letting my partner do it). </p>\n<p>I don't enjoy cooking, and since I've also had to quit sugar (treatment of IBS), I am finding it even less enjoyable. But since I've come home I seem to be feeling even more anxious than usual about it. I get overwhelmed about having to cook, overwhelmed about planning what we are eating and overwhelmed about shopping. </p>\n<p>What's going on? Do other people experience extreme anxiety about cooking? How have you overcome it? What are some strategies to manage it so that we can eat a normal dinner without it becoming a catastrophic event?</p></div>", "date": "23-03-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/31219", "content": "Hi there girlonsafari,\n<br>Me again, I also struggle a huge amount with cooking and my dietician is just getting me to buy pre prepared meals for now because the aim is just to feed myself regularly right now and cooking isn't happening. I also find it really overwhelming just finding prepared meals online. I totally hear you - the entire process of planning, shopping etc is just totally overwhelming. Do you have a HAES dietician who can help with guiding you through this?</div>", "date": "23-03-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/33903", "content": "<p>Hi girlonsafari, </p>\n<p>I'm so sorry to hear about your anxiety around cooking. I personally get anxiety around food as I also have recovered from a binge eating disorder, so I understand how overwhelming it can be. I particularly have a difficult time in grocery stores. </p>\n<p>The way I have managed this is actually by getting Hello Fresh deliveries. It's nice being able to choose the meals that you're going to cook each week without having to really plan them. It might be a helpful transition from hating cooking, to having some real guidance with Hello Fresh and then moving on to cooking independently. Do you think that might alleviate some of the overwhelm you feel about the process?</p></div>", "date": "01-04-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/9698", "content": "Hey Guest_206. What's a HAES dietician? I've thought about pre-prepared meals but then got worried about the cost. Have you found them helpful?</div>", "date": "10-05-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/9698", "content": "<p>Hey socialmoth, thanks for your message. I'm glad to hear Hello Fresh is working for you. I have thought about pre-prepared meals but haven't managed to follow it up yet. It could definitely work as long as the cost was not too stressful. I imagine that taking the stress out of choosing, shopping would be useful. </p>\n<p>Have you found anything else helpful? Have you ever journaled about it? Or done any support groups?</p></div>", "date": "10-05-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/11063", "content": "<p>I love cooking. It is one of my true positive escapes. I feel better about it every time I cook.</p>\n<p>Everything you need to know about technique is on YouTube and personal blogs that show up in google search.</p>\n<p>It's hard for me to give advice because I don't know about your budget/accessibility to fresh food/dietary requirements.</p>\n<p>Start small with the basic recipes and build on fundamental techniques. If you fry an egg in a frying pan every morning for a week, you will learn a lot and build intuition. You can branch out with that technique and try frying hamburger patties, fish fillets, tempeh, tomatoes and mushrooms. All of these things use a frying pan, but some will require low temps for long time, others need high temps for short time. The same can be said for steaming fish, Steaming Vegetables, or what I have been practicing and failing a lot at lately is steaming Thai Khanom Chan cakes and Indonesian Kue Lapis. Take your time, do some research and feel it out for yourself. Be prepared to fail, sometimes its on you, sometimes its totally out of your control. Just learn from it and keep trying,</p>\n<p>If you are having problems with shopping, plan with your partner and try to determine what decisions are hard to make and what ones are easy.</p>\n<p>There should be a big group of staple items you buy every week like milk, bread, yoghurt, frozen veges, canned tuna ect that you can write down on a shopping list in permanent marker.<br>\n<br>\nThere should be a smaller group of fresh food items. Work out how many KG's of fruit, vegetables and meat your household needs per week. Then you can pick and choose whatever is fresh and in season.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> I would highly suggest to not make many decisions in the supermarket. It's too easy to buy things you don't need or aren't healthy because you are anxious and making up the shopping list as you go. <br>\n<br>\nOrganize the shopping list at home, then go in and execute. <br>\n<br>\nMaybe you could start by buying the easy staples from the shopping list and letting your partner make decisions on fresh seasonal produce. Or you could arrange online home delivery and just focus spending your time and emotional energy on cooking.<br>\n<br>\n</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p><br>\n</p>\n<p> </p>\n<br></div>", "date": "10-05-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/31219", "content": "<p>Hi girlonsafari, a HAES dietitian is a non diet dietitian. There are different types of dietitians out there and if you've had an eating disorder it really helps to have a non diet dietitian because we know that diets and restricting food groups is a sure fire way for the eating disorder to come back. </p>\n<p>Having pre-prepared meals has really helped me as otherwise I would just be skipping dinner, which is of course really bad. How are you going with it now? </p>\n<p>Xg </p></div>", "date": "21-05-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Hi <strong>girlonsafari</strong>, </p>\n<p>Checking in to see how you have been going recently! </p>\n<p>For me personally I like to keep things simple. Minimal ingredients and easy quick cooking is my preferred way of doing it and helps to make sure I do end up cooking. </p>\n<p>Please keep us updated on how you go! We are definitely here for you! </p></div>", "date": "22-05-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/9698", "content": "<p>Thanks everyone! All the support and information has been really helpful. </p>\n<p>I started using Hello Fresh last week and so far so good. I have cooked 3 meals which is basically 3 meals more than I would normally cook. I like that the ingredients arrive in the correct amounts with a recipe card there. All I have to focus on is cooking it. Also, the meals are really yummy and I have enjoyed all of them.</p>\n<p>Not much else to report on. I'm still anxious and feeling really low but small steps in the right direction are happening.</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" }, { "author": "user-id/31219", "content": "<p>Hi girlonsafari, </p>\n<p>Wow you cooked 3 meals! That's awesome! I hope you feel proud of yourself - it's a huge achievement. </p>\n<p>X g </p></div>", "date": "10-06-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/help-me-manage-my-anxiety-around-cooking/td-p/520218" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p>Hi all,</p><p> </p><p>It's been awhile since I've used this forum. Many months. Last I posted was about a driving instructor appointment and summoning the willpower to both book one and go to it. (I was suffering with panic attacks at the time)</p><p> </p><p>I still worry about panic attacks, but much less so then the last time I posted here. So for anyone else struggling, you can beat it, it's a slow burn that I'm not even completely through, but we'll beat it in the end.</p><p> </p><p>On to the topic at hand, I did actually go to my driving instructor appointment, but she was very controlling and it made me lose a lot of confidence in my driving and that has led me to pretty much stop driving all together (I think I went once a month ago) and consume all my motivation, since then I haven't really done much of anything. I know the instructor was just doing her job but a lot of situations she intervened in I could handle. Obviously given it's our first appointment, she couldn't have known that.<br><br></p><p>Because I've not had the motivation to do anything, I've been feeling really bad about myself in a multitude of ways, which has made me pretty depressed and anxiety hasn't been awful since I haven't focused on anything, but when I think of life... I get very anxious. It's probably the best time to go to a psychologist given how I'm feeling, but our first appointment (which was 3 months ago, haven't had one since(they're very hard to get into)) was more just like a chat? Talked about ex partners, parents and similar things to that. I did bring up my actual issues but they didn't net any real emphasis from her.<br><br>Because of ALL of this, I'm feeling like I won't gain much from going and it's also gonna be really hard to go in general. Last time I went, it was helpful because I didn't think I could bear even sitting in and talking with someone.</p><p> </p><p>Any advice is welcomed, your journey with a psychologist, if you can relate with the slump I'm in, or anything else you can think of, and of course kind words are always appreciated. <br><br>Thank you for reading. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span> I hope everyone is well.</p></div>", "date": "17-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/going-through-an-anxiety-relapse-and-having-a-psyche-appointment/td-p/565724" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi flop,</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for your post and welcome back to the forums. It sounds like you had a tough experience with the driving instructor and I hope you will soon find the motivation to return and/or find a different instructor. </p><p> </p><p>Regarding a psychologist, it's a different experience for everyone and it also really depends on the psychologist. I personally only see my psychologist once every two or three months which is enough for me. I don't get a lot unfortunately out of talking through my issues with a professional. I more use it as a back up just in case something is really troubling me. But I know for some people its a huge protective factor. It really depends on the person, their personality and their mental health literacy. But I suggest if you found your last session helpful that you should return because having a good first session is a great sign. Generally from there you can start to relationship build and start tackling strategies. </p><p> </p><p>Having low motivation is a huge part of depression and was something that very much affected me. It's a daily battle but there are certainly strategies to tackle this. It includes a number of things (which you can learn with your psychologist) such as exercising, activity scheduling, mindfulness, sleep/diet changes and social strategies. I would suggest this be the focus for your next session since it sounds like your biggest issue atm. </p><p> </p><p>Here are some more tips and advice re motivation: <a href=\"https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/interactive-tools/activities/motivation/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/interactive-tools/activities/motivation/</a> </p><p> </p><p>Please keep us updated and I hope this helps a bit.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "17-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/going-through-an-anxiety-relapse-and-having-a-psyche-appointment/td-p/565724" }, { "author": "user-id/7809", "content": "<p>It's funny when it comes to psychs as it depends massively on your personality. I saw about 3 psychs that I just didn't click with and 1 I know is booked out for months in advance. I ended up seeing a \"free\" one, using a mental health plan, and he was great for me.</p><p> </p><p>For the most part we do kinda just talk, can't explain why but for me that calms me down I guess haha.</p><p> </p><p>Long story short, maybe worth \"shopping around\"</p></div>", "date": "17-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/going-through-an-anxiety-relapse-and-having-a-psyche-appointment/td-p/565724" } ]