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[ { "author": "user-id/27576", "content": "<p>Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. </p>\n<p>From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/who-are-our-community-champions\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">community champions</a> work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great.</p>\n<p>It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist.  </p>\n<p>To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is <strong>give support to receive support.</strong></p>\n<p>Being a good community member means:</p>\n<ul>\n <li> participating in different threads (not just your own), </li>\n <li>replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and...</li>\n <li>posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out.</li>\n</ul>\n<p>You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. <em>“I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.”</em></p>\n<p>Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel.</p>\n<p>For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/connect-with-others/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/forums-etiquette-give-support-to-receive-support#qiRXCXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you</a> on your journey.<br>\n<br>\n<img alt=\"kittens\" displaymode=\"Original\" src=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/images/default-source/default-album/kittens.png\" sfref=\"[images|OpenAccessDataProvider]4f5724aa-f371-61bc-846e-ff0000e9d3fc\"></p>\n<br>\n<br></div>", "date": "17-11-2015", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/forums-etiquette-give-support-to-receive-support/td-p/122159" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/36315", "content": "<p>Hi all,</p><p> </p><p>I thought I was doing ok lately on the health anxiety side of things, I’ve been eating healthier, loosing some weight and feeling good about myself. However, I was scrolling through TikTok and a random post came up about ‘Franks sign’ curiosity got me so I ended up watching the reel. It spoke about people having diagonal creases on their ear lobes meant they would have some form of CAD. Insert panic as of course I have deep creasing on my ear lobes. I ended up googling too <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_rolling_eyes:\">🙄</span> and it’s a thing. I’ve never heard of it before but apparently it can be an indicator. I spoke to my husband who is very blah about things and he said you’ve already had checks done so I doubt it relates to you. <br><br></p><p>I had a CT angiogram in 2020 and it showed 0 calcium markers and I also had a stress test last year which was fine. Obviously I am unfit but didn’t show anything. I looked at old photos from last year and I did have creasing but a few years ago not so much 🤷🏻‍<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":female_sign:\">♀️</span> thought it was due to putting on weight over the years but yeh I’m just in a bad way now. I can’t get any cardio checks done as I don’t have symptoms and they won’t do another CT scan on me as it’s only been a few years. My cholesterol is slightly elevated but has been for a few years and dr thinks stress can cause it to be elevated at times. <br><br></p><p>sorry to vent but I was just freaking out. I’m trying to calm my mind that I have in fact had checks done within the last few years. <br><br></p><p>has anyone heard of this before? </p><p>or am I the only one it reached just to</p><p>stress me out unless it was a sign. <br><br></p><p>sometimes I hate myself when I get like this. </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/cardiac-worry-franks-sign-ear-lobe-creasing/td-p/576437" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>Re: <em>\"sometimes I hate myself when I get like this. \"  </em>more on that later.</p><p> </p><p>The best summary of Franks sign is the following taken from Medical News Today -</p><div><div><strong><em>\"Summary</em></strong></div></div><p><strong><em>Many studies link a diagonal earlobe crease on one or both ears — known as Frank’s sign — with a higher risk of cardiovascular conditions such as stroke and heart attack.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>While the underlying mechanism that links it with a heart attack is lacking, many studies prove the association. Moreover, using it along with known risk factors can help predict heart attack and even the outlook of specific procedures.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>However, people should not rely solely on having an earlobe crease. A person with other risk factors for heart disease must consult a doctor for proper diagnosis and timely management.\"</em></strong></p><p> </p><p>So as a non qualified medical person I suggest that you talk to your GP when you next visit.</p><p>That confirms there are many issues to look at and your GP can advise you. So I think many of us that have mental health issues or are fixated on medical things have fears and those fears are akin to over thinking. We need to assess this and lower our concerns, to get it is perspective.</p><p> </p><p>There is a big difference between being concerned and following it up than over thinking, worrying to the point whereby it effects your relationships or causes harm to yourself. I had a friend once that had heart failure in his family and ended up with a stroke. I've often wondered if the stroke was from the worry of a heart attack?. This link can help.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808</a></p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you posted. Reply anytime.</p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "13-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/cardiac-worry-franks-sign-ear-lobe-creasing/td-p/576437" }, { "author": "user-id/36315", "content": "<p>Thanks Tony for your reply. <br><br></p><p>I actually just went to my Dr today for other reasons so I decided to ask her. She has never heard of it at all. But she said even if it was the case that she wouldn’t base getting a heart check on an ear crease. It would be about cholesterol etc. I have had elevated cholesterol and for that she sent me to a cardiologist in 2020 have had a CT angiogram done which was zero calcium and echo and ekg was fine. I had a stress test done in may last year which was also fine. So based on that she thinks I’m fine as everything has been clear at this stage. Every two years she will be sending me for a check up so for my own anxiety I’ll be making sure I go next year. But based on her information I have to trust previous results and her opinion. I’m trying to accept that without freaking out otherwise I’ll just spiral. Deep down I do know I should trust the test results and Dr advice. I keep getting on and off arm pain in the same spot and jaw pain. I’ve noticed these appear at heightened stress times. Need to focus on something else I think.  <br><br></p><p>Thanks again for your advice. I have checked out that other forum and it has helped. I need to do better with my metal state for sure. <br><br></p><p>Have a lovely day. <br>Mandy </p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/cardiac-worry-franks-sign-ear-lobe-creasing/td-p/576437" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Thats very good progress. Well done.</p><p> </p><p>This thread can help also, my own struggles overcoming anxiety.. Any questions yell out. </p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873/page/2#:~:text=Anxiety%2C%20how%20l%20eliminated%20it%201%201.%20I,6.%20Smile%2C%20breathe%2C%20and%20go%20slowly.%20More%20items\" target=\"_blank\">Anxiety, how l eliminated it - Page 2 - Beyond Blue Forums - 183873</a></p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/cardiac-worry-franks-sign-ear-lobe-creasing/td-p/576437" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49262", "content": "<p>I am 53yo female, divorced and been in a long distant relationship for 14 months. My boyfriend is 12yr older than me.</p><p>I have grown to love him and know he loves me too. We planned to have a future and build a family together with his 13yo daughter.</p><p>His daughter accepted me and loves me, I love her too, I don’t have any kid of my own and been living in Aust by myself, no relative. At times I feel alone, my BF and his kid mean so much to me.</p><p>Due to special circumstances, we still live apart and we have been working together to make our reunion happen as soon as possible then settling in Australia.</p><p>At the early stage of this relationship, my BF noticed I got fear and trust issues, and said once being together these issues will be cleared.</p><p>I introspected myself and realized my fear and trust issues came from many betrayals and disappointments from past relationships.</p><p>I can tell he trusts me fully and rarely questions me about who I meet or be friend with. I normally tell him upfront about the people I am interacting with.</p><p> </p><p>My problem is, I often doubt, worry, feel jealous and mistrust while I am not around him in the time being. I often feel anxious when he absent for 3 or 4 days without calling or texting me.</p><p>My friend says I require his time and attention more than he gives and suggests me to adjust my needs rather than requesting him to give me more time because it is likely that is how he is naturally.</p><p>At first, he showed understanding, however few days ago we argued and he was very upset, he said “THIS IS THE THING HE DOES NOT WANT IN HIS LIFE, HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT TRUST HER MAN”. To me, his action was a wakeup call.</p><p>I realize my fear and trust issues have caused severe impacts to our relationship and made him feel pressured, being controlled and uncomfortable. Worse than that I would potentially cause a break-up and lose this relationship.</p><p>I gave him time to calm down then offered an apology on the yesterday, I also told him I realized the negative impacts of my issues on our relationship and will seek professional help. He responded to me which is a good sign.</p><p>We have been through thick and thin between life and death together and still stand strong by each other until this day. This relationship is worth fighting for.</p><p>I now seek counselling support from Next Step to help improving my fear and trust issues.</p><p>Beside seeking professional help, please I also need advice and suggestions/ideas on this forum or from someone has similar issues about how to improve this. Thank you.</p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-cause-fear-and-trust-problems-in-current/td-p/576285" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>I feel for you both, its a trying time.</p><p> </p><p>As a man I can relate to his reactions about not being trusted. Your own insecurities have overflowed to effecting him and yes, that isnt fair. But it is common because as older adults we will have baggage and accepting that baggage comes with that age and events that impacted our lives earlier.</p><p> </p><p>I do think that along with counselling will definitely help but leave it too long and he might not be so keen, such is the drifting of the topic over time for us guys. I wonder though as well, the change in the relationship if you, moved in together or, you moved closer to him. Some times these insecurities vanish with constant company, after all, you wont have trust issues if he sits beside you every night???</p><p> </p><p>In many cases \"nipping it in the bud\" is a requirement. Lingering past issues can be contained inside of yourself rather than mentioning his absence every time it happens. Blurting out anything that comes to mind is honest and honourable but if we spoke our mind on all topics then that can have ramifications. As we watch TV if I said aloud \"oh look at her body, how nice\" then my lovely wife wouldnt be so impressed. So learning to contain these thoughts/fears is your challenge.</p><p> </p><p>This link might help in terminating arguements.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/relationship-strife-the-peace-pipe/td-p/315496/page/2\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/relationship-strife-the-peace-pip...</a></p><p> </p><p>SCARS ON HIM</p><p> </p><p>A person with a past feels last</p><p>We all have a past and make it our task</p><p>That recalling the sad times we fell apart</p><p>became a scar upon our heart</p><p> </p><p>A scar will never banish our despair</p><p>we cant love again if no ones there</p><p>but we can place those rocks in a bag to deliver</p><p>hoist it high and into the river</p><p> </p><p>The older we are the harder it be</p><p>To ignore the past and  make us free</p><p>But while we count the scars on our own skin</p><p>We forget he also has them on him...</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-cause-fear-and-trust-problems-in-current/td-p/576285" }, { "author": "user-id/49262", "content": "<p>Hi TonyWK, thank you and I really appreciate you for replying to my post and advice on my issues. </p><p>Also thanks for sharing the “Relationship strife? the peace pipe”, it mentions some good methods there.</p><p>I have been to a counselling session with Next Step <a href=\"https://mccg.org.au/services/next-step/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">&lt;<em>Next Step | Marymead CatholicCare - Marymead CatholicCare (mccg.org.au</em>)&gt;</a>, she used Cognitive Behavioural Therapy method.  </p><p>I am keen to work with her for the next 5 weeks (6 weeks treatment program provided FREE). the method or techniques have awakened me (being taught to self-recognize about certain problems and consequences) to realize the more we assume or overthink, the worse that makes a simple thing to be.</p><p>I and my BF also had a lengthy conversation where he explained and cleared my concerns.</p><p>So I am on a learning and self-recognising/analysing journey then improving from there. </p><p>Thanks again for your support and understanding. I will keep you updated of my progress.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-cause-fear-and-trust-problems-in-current/td-p/576285" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi MayaYyen</p><p> </p><p>Wow, how good is that? Really glad you are seeking guidance, and we are here when and if you need us. You can post 24/7/365.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-cause-fear-and-trust-problems-in-current/td-p/576285" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49298", "content": "<p>Hi there ,</p><p>my first time putting anything up on a discussion board but feel for the younger people dealing with OCD, i was diagnosed with Pure O OCD three years ago when i was 50 and not going to lie it was an extremely challenging period in my life with a brief stint in hospital, but as challenging as therapy was and is eventually there can be a freedom that can help release you from the prison within your head . it was only after being diagnosed that i was able to look back and see how much of my life was driven by OCD , the best advice i was given at the time was to educate myself on OCD first as i think that is a massive step forward to be able to understand what is OCD , second and the absolute most important thing was to find a therapist that is experienced in dealing with OCD as lots claim it but i dont believe some are well enough trained in that specific disorder , the third thing for me was being able to open yourself up at therapy and do the work as OCD is very paradoxical , facing your fears with the help of your therapist i believe was the best way , i wanted to write this for the people new to this disorder to give them so hope so that they can find the courage to seek help and move forward and not let OCD dictate their lives, there will be some difficult days but they will get better ! three years ago i was on medication and having rigorous therapy and now i am off medication and touch base every now and then with my therapist and feel much better , OCD along with Depression still challenge me but i have the tools and the understanding of the disorder  to calm  myself down much quicker , there is light at the end of the tunnel you just have to make the first step, to the people caring for someone with OCD remember if you find it hard, imagine how they must be feeling not being able to understand themselves , so i tell you, you only need to help them by being understanding and not necessarily having to understand the condition , i think it is also important that the people caring for them get up to speed on the best way of helping an OCD person as it will be just as difficult for you because often it will require you not to offer reassurance.</p><p>anyway i wish everyone here who is suffering to go and get help because it is there and whilst not perfect it will help ALOT !! </p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/ocd/td-p/576507" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi Paul301,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your story here and providing hope for anyone who experiences OCD or OCD symptoms. As someone with major depressive disorder I can definitely empathise with the depressive side of the illness. For anyone looking to learn more about OCD please also consult the information available through beyond blue here:</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ocd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/ocd</a> </p><p> </p><p>There is also a great story of recovery available on this page.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/ocd/td-p/576507" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>Hello!</p><p> </p><p>I struggle with taking showers.</p><p> </p><p>I was wondering if anyone has any tips on:</p><p> </p><ul><li>how to stop being afraid of showers?</li><li>And how to stop procrastinating/how to stay consistent?</li></ul><p> </p><p>The feeling of being wet and naked just makes me panic. I don't know why. I ger dizzy and nauseous and start freaking out. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know how to just do what I need to even tho I don't want to or I'm scared to. I used to have alot of discipline in the past, but now it just dissappeared out of nowhere.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tips-for-showering/td-p/576796" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p> </p><p>I'm really sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much distress. I am glad that you have felt able to reach out here for support. From what you've described, it sounds like you're avoiding showering due to intense fear and physical symptoms. I understand this is likely very personal for you to speak openly about, but given how much it is interfering with your life, I think it may be helpful to talk to someone you trust about it. This could be your GP or a counsellor, or if you prefer to be anonymous you could contact one of the helplines like Beyond Blue's service. </p><p> </p><p>You do not have to answer these online but they may be something to think about - do you experience the same feelings when swimming or in a bath? Is it a particular part of your body that you find more distressing? Would it be an option to slowly grade up to full exposure of showering? For example, breaking the process of showering into separate body regions.</p><p> </p><p>Different things work for different people, some of these may not be your thing and that is more than okay, but here are some suggestions you may like to try for when things feel really overwhelming or difficult: writing - writing down your worries and thoughts and what is going on can help organise your thoughts and get them out of your system and can help you see your thoughts from a different perspective, listening to your favourite music, hugging someone or a pillow, as mentioned before calling a helpline (Lifeline is 13 11 14), making a cup of tea or doing some physical exercise. You may also find grounding techniques helpful - they focus on shifting your focus away from your mind and back onto the present, they can involve controlled breathing techniques, meditation exercises and sensory exercises, it may be worth looking up grounding techniques to have a try.</p><p> </p><p>Please do not hesitate to reach out when you feel up to it. Anxiety can be a very isolating and painful experience and you should not have to bear this alone. We are here to listen and support you. Take care Alel. </p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/tips-for-showering/td-p/576796" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48931", "content": "<p>I am a teacher, and a student today told another teacher that I slapped her across the face.  I didn't, I wouldn't ever do something like that.  I am so scared that she may have told either other teachers or other students.  Either way this could destroy my career if anyone believes her.  I really don't need this added to everything else.  I am feeling so frustrated and alone right now.  I am just tired of feeling like everything is a major thing regardless of how big it is.  I just want it all to go away and be happy again</p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-can-things-feel-so-wrong/td-p/576752" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Nip this in the bud by reporting to the head.</p><p>Like all stories, it will need to be corroborated with evidence (witnesses, arguments, or any confrontation), so I'd recommend being proactive to avoid this blowing out of proportion through rumours if left unresolved.</p><p>Then you can rest easier knowing you have been upfront (which can only aid your cause) and, if blameless, then the process should clear your name and restore confidence in the support network.</p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-can-things-feel-so-wrong/td-p/576752" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49339", "content": "<p>Hi, I’ve been feeling really alone lately and get tea anxious and stressed about little things constantly and my head hurt from always being anxious and stressed. I get episodes where I can’t do anything and my head just throbs. Every time I’ve asked someone for help they just say oh me too! Or you’ll get over it. I just don’t know how to cope or what to do and I feel really lost and alone and I don’t have anyone to help me. If anyone has any strategies or advice I would really appreciate it </p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-head-hurts/td-p/576741" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>I am really sorry to hear that you have been experiencing such intense anxiety and that the people that you've asked for help have not been more understanding. It sounds like what you are experiencing is becoming more and more difficult to cope with. Would you consider making an appointment with your GP or a counsellor to talk through what has been happening? If speaking to someone anonymously feels more manageable, there are a few helplines you can contact that may be an option including the Beyond Blue service. </p><p>Different things work for different people, some of these may not be your thing and that is more than okay, but here are some suggestions you may like to try for when things feel really overwhelming or difficult: writing - writing down your worries and thoughts and what is going on can help organise your thoughts and get them out of your system and can help you see your thoughts from a different perspective, being outside in the sun, calling a friend or loved one, listening to your favourite music, washing your face with cold water, having a bath or warm shower, playing with a pet, hugging someone or a pillow, as mentioned before calling a helpline (Lifeline is 13 11 14), making a cup of tea or doing some physical exercise. You may also find grounding techniques helpful - they focus on shifting your focus away from your mind and back onto the present, they can involve controlled breathing techniques, meditation exercises and sensory exercises, it may be worth looking up grounding techniques to have a try.</p><p>Please do not hesitate to reach out when you feel up to it. Anxiety can be a very isolating and painful experience and you should not have to bear this alone. We are here to listen and support you. Take care and give yourself the time and space that you need.</p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-head-hurts/td-p/576741" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/16944", "content": "Hi, I've always had anxiety but in the last 2 years have also developed health anxiety and am constantly worried I have something wrong. Today though has been exceptionally horrible with concern that my teeth will fall out. Now i do need some fillings and some redness in my gums due to illness during pregnancy but if i try to wobble my teeth with my finger, I can't see any movement in my teeth. However, anytime I move my mouth it feels like the tooth is about to fall out. I think the sensation when I move my mouth is more anxiety than an actual movement of a loose tooth. I've been trying really hard all day to stop focusing on it but I can't. I have a dentist appointment next week but until then how does anyone recommend moving past this worry? I don't even want to eat or drink due to this worry.</div>", "date": "01-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/15131", "content": "<p>I'm so happy to hear everything went well! Hope you're feeling less anxious now. Feel free to continue messaging on the forums : )</p>\n<p>Beeee</p></div>", "date": "06-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/2476", "content": "That's wonderful to hear :D. I'm sure it's come as a great relief!</div>", "date": "06-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/44604", "content": "<p>Hey there, guys. Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions on that. They are really encouraging. My friend has a similar issue, so I think I should share this thread with him.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/44604", "content": "<p>You know, I have another friend.</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46163", "content": "<p>I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time with anxiety, especially health anxiety. It's great that you have a dentist appointment next week, as that should provide some reassurance. In the meantime, try to remember that our minds can sometimes play tricks on us, especially when anxiety is involved.</p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/46163", "content": "<p>To help ease your mind, maybe consider focusing on some positive distractions or activities you enjoy. And when you see your dentist, don't hesitate to discuss your concerns. They can provide you with professional guidance, and it's good to mention that you need some <a href=\"https://jeffreygrossdds.com/services/cosmetic-dentistry/\" target=\"_self\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">white fillings</a>, which can enhance your smile and overall oral health.</p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16944", "content": "Hi, I've always had anxiety but in the last 2 years have also developed health anxiety and am constantly worried I have something wrong. Today though has been exceptionally horrible with concern that my teeth will fall out. Now i do need some fillings and some redness in my gums due to illness during pregnancy but if i try to wobble my teeth with my finger, I can't see any movement in my teeth. However, anytime I move my mouth it feels like the tooth is about to fall out. I think the sensation when I move my mouth is more anxiety than an actual movement of a loose tooth. I've been trying really hard all day to stop focusing on it but I can't. I have a dentist appointment next week but until then how does anyone recommend moving past this worry? I don't even want to eat or drink due to this worry.</div>", "date": "01-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/22778", "content": "Do you grind your teeth perhaps? <br>\nI’ve just had six fillings myself, I struggle with the drill but the dentist lets me put my earphones in and listen to music which helps so much.</div>", "date": "01-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/2476", "content": "<p>Hey there!</p>\n<p>Ah, probably one the most common nightmares!</p>\n<p>As a fellow sufferer, one of the most frustrating things about health anxiety is how it magnifies any slightly odd sensation to 'something must be wrong.' </p>\n<p>If your teeth really were about to fall out there'd probably be some really obvious signs, much more than a vague sensation and red gums. </p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;\">It's good you've got a dental appointment, it's very unlikely it will deteriorate rapidly in that time. </span></p>\n<p>In the meantime, try to think of these intrusive thoughts as...well...thoughts, instead of fact. Just acknowledge them but don't give them legitimacy, and let them fade away. It's not easy but once you give it a go it could really help.</p>\n<p>All the best of luck! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p></div>", "date": "01-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/25170", "content": "<p>Hi Anxiety is who I am,</p>\n<p>Welcome to our forums!</p>\n<p>Im sorry you are feeling this way.</p>\n<p>I understand health anxiety I also suffered with this my health anxiety began to move beyond my health and turned to other intrusive thoughts I was diagnosed with OCD.</p>\n<p>Ive now recovered thanks to the professional help I received.</p>\n<p>I highly recommend you see your gp and let them know how you are feeling and how anxiety is affecting your life.</p>\n<p>You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.</p>\n<p>You can learn alot of strategies that can help you to manage your anxiety.</p>\n<p>When you have these intrusive thoughts instead of putting your attention on the thought re direct your attention onto something in the present moment.</p>\n<p>Meditation is also very helpful it just takes practice.</p></div>", "date": "01-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/16944", "content": "Thank you so much everyone. It’s my first time using the forum and whilst I’m still having anxious feelings about my teeth, your advice has definitely helped.</div>", "date": "04-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p>\n<p>First - breathe. You are okay. </p>\n<p>You will find answers at your appointment next week - but until then - breathe.</p>\n<p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "04-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/16944", "content": "My appointment is tomorrow morning and I'm trying really hard to stay calm until then but its really hard going right now. Feels the worst it has been since I noticed it. I think part of it is worry that the dentist will give me my worst case scenario diagnosis. Hoping some meditation will help me sleep. Any advice for the actual appointment?</div>", "date": "05-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/15131", "content": "<p>Hello Anxiety is who I am,</p>\n<p>Meditation sounds like a great idea. For me, when I'm trying to distract myself, putting on some music or my favourite TV show can be really helpful. </p>\n<p>For the actual appointment, perhaps tell your dentist how you're feeling and they may guide you through the process and give you the answers you're looking for. </p>\n<p>When it comes to your worst case scenario, challenge it or find solutions. For example, if the worst thing that can happen is that your teeth fall out, you can get false teeth fitted. </p>\n<p>Hope you get some sleep tonight and all is well tomorrow.</p>\n<p>Beeee</p>\n<div><span class=\"sfforumUser\" style=\"font-family: FFDINWeb, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: bold;\"><br>\n</span></div></div>", "date": "05-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/2476", "content": "<p>Hi Anxiety is Who I am.</p>\n<p>I'm sorry you're still feeling really stressed out. It's normal to feel that just before your appointment, worrying about the outcome. Just take some deep breaths and think how good it is that it'll be getting looked at tommorow rather than later <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>I concur with Beeee, even if it is your worst case scenario it is very treatable and can be reversed. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p>\n<p>All the very best</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "06-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" }, { "author": "user-id/16944", "content": "Well you were all right. It wasn't actually as bad as I assumed and it wasn't even close to worst case scenario. Thank you all for your help and support. Really helped me get through until my appointment without losing my mind. So grateful for all the advice <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></div>", "date": "06-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-about-teeth/td-p/7895" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48931", "content": "<p>So this is a weird post in that I am not sure if anyone will reply or if anyone will be able to offer any advice.  A close friend of mine discovered a injury on my leg from two weeks ago and immediately asked if I had done it myself.  She knew that I had been struggling recently but I didn't think I had given her any reason to think that this was a possibility.  I actually ended up lying to her and telling her it was an accident but not sure she believed me.  I am now on 9 days of not having those thoughts, so I don't want anything thinking that.  Is that wrong?</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello K_Ley</p><p>I can't possibly say whether you are right or wrong.</p><p>I would ask why you felt the need to lie to your close friend?</p><p>I also would ask if anyone knows you have self-harmed, particularly a GP or therapist?</p><p>Having thought or doing any self-harm is serious &amp; I think it is important to be honest about that at least to your GP &amp;/or therapist.</p><p>You can talk to us here about when you have the thoughts, what your feelings are, (but please, not what self-harm you actually do), if you think that would help.... maybe talking can keep you from hurting yourself.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/48931", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p>yes i have told my therapist.  I didnt want her to worry about me.  And I am hoping that I am past that now</p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>IHi K_Ley</p><p>I hope you are past that now, too.</p><p>I hope that being able to talk with your therapist you are able to talk about the feelings or thoughts which led you to do that in the first place, &amp; if the thoughts or feelings arise again.</p><p>&amp; remember, you are welcome to talk here, too.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hello K_Ley</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Your post is fine and there is nothing weird about it. (<i>thankyou Kitty for your support and care</i>)</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>You didnt lie to your friend. You answered your friends' question very well considering what you have been going through</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>You are stronger than you think  K_Ley....It took me weeks to get the courage to post on the forums with my anxiety issues, I really do admire your strength. You are a strong by posting as well as you have. Excellent.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>be gentle to yourself K_Ley....You deserve it</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue Family too...I hope you can stick around if you wish of course.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Paul</p>\n\n<p>Online Volunteer</p>\n\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" }, { "author": "user-id/48931", "content": "<p>Thank you I appreciate the support and yes I will be sticking around I need this </p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-how-to-feel/td-p/576619" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49302", "content": "<p>hey, thank you for the replies on my last discussion. I think they will be really helpful.<br>I just wanted to come on here and ask if anyone else has experienced this symptom. does anyone else suddenly forget where they are, who they are, what they are doing just randomly? sometimes I forget I even exist, or that I am human or real. and im just kind of floating around. but suddenly you realise you have forgotten everything about life and panic sets in. almost like a numbing pain in your body. this I think is one of the scariest symptoms I’ve had. forgetting reality and feeling like im just a soul floating around in space without a thought in my head. it kinda feels like zoning out but much more intense, and you’re brain is empty, you forget the space around you and you can’t really snap back into reality?</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation/td-p/576687" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello again, emem0</p><p> </p><p>I can't say that I've ever felt quite like how you describe feeling.</p><p>This sounds like an awful, confusing, &amp; frightening way to suddenly feel.</p><p> </p><p>Are you able to reach out in any way, like, to touch something, or to speak to someone, when this is happening?</p><p>Can you do this even if things &amp; people don't seem real, or you don't feel real yourself?</p><p>If you can, making contact could help to reconnect you with the world.</p><p> </p><p>Or perhaps, maybe people you know have noticed when you seem disconnected, maybe seeming to have 'zoned out', &amp; can recognise when you are feeling so disconnected, &amp; can help, maybe by talking to you, saying your name, reminding you who you are to them, touching your hand ..? </p><p>do you think either of these ideas could help?</p><p> </p><p>Sorry for another question. Have you told your psychologist about these experiences?</p><p>If you are not sure if you can tell them, show them what you've written here on BB. I'm sure that would be helpful, because you describe what you experience so clearly.</p><p> </p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalisation/td-p/576687" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49315", "content": "<p>ive been so worried about my health recently. whenever i get even the slightest ache in my chest, my anxiety dials it up to “youre gonna have a heart attack and die right here” or “something is wrong you might be hospitalized” and it really makes everything worse. im constantly checking my pulse, massaging my chest, anything to convince myself im fine. im perfectly healthly, as i had a checkup not too long ago, but it still doesnt stop the anxieties creeping in. my parents say im fine, and that does help for the moment, but a bit later i sometimes am thinking the same things again. it really sucks, and i dont know how to deal with it. </p><p> </p><p>im a christian, and im constantly worrying that im not good enough and im not doing enough for God, and i hate how it makes me feel. it borderline ruins my day, because i then think that i’ll never get to live with him in heaven. im also scared of there being no god or eternal life in heaven, and just dying and never having another coherent thought or doing anything meaningful. it scares me that i’ll either die, and never know, or i’ll be living for eternity in heaven forever and ever. i dont know how to discuss this with my dad, and i am not sure how to improve myself and be more christian. </p><p> </p><p>it bugs me everyday, how i constantly worry about my health, and worry over whether i’ll die and never wake up or wake up in heaven. it makes me feel sick sometimes, and occasionally it makes me feel sad and depressed, but i dont how to bring this all up with either my parents or my therapist. what do i do?</p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/regarding-anxiety-again/td-p/576633" }, { "author": "user-id/49299", "content": "<p>Hi mimikkyu!</p><p>I'm sorry to hear that you've been experiencing so much stress recently. I'm rooting for you and wish you all the best!</p><p> </p><p>As for bringing things up to your therapist, maybe you could try writing down your worries and letting them read it instead? That way you can make sure you've laid out everything you need to say with as much detail as you need, and nothing is left out. This may not work for everyone, but personally writing can feel a bit less daunting than speaking when in a stressful situation.</p><p> </p><p>I really hope this was at least somewhat helpful, and I hope everything works out for you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/regarding-anxiety-again/td-p/576633" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Mimikkyu~</p><p>_Gigi_ has given you an idea of how to approach your therapist that I've found very helpful too. Having a few days beforehand to get everything in order and not leave anything out has made it a lot easier. Trying to think of everything in a face to face consultation is very hard.</p><p> </p><p>My doctor and psych have found it helped them too, having a list to work from. I have simply had to explain what I wrote, no great need to think.</p><p> </p><p>You mentioned that as a christian  you were unsure about matters and thought it difficult to talk to your parents about this. I wonder if in fact they are the appropriate persons to deal with matters of faith and you might be better off talking direct to your local religious leader who will have struck this sort of problem many times in the past.</p><p> </p><p>What do you think?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "16-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/regarding-anxiety-again/td-p/576633" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>So I eat at 9am, 1pm and 6pm everyday. Then I eat yogurt at 7pm and take sleep medication at 10pm. I was also told by my psychiatrist that I have to walk and go out more. This is going to take me a long time since I got agoraphobia and emetophobia. </p><p> </p><p>But everytime I eat, I go bathroom, or I go outside for 1 minute as exposure, I have to sit down and think about it for hours on end. I feel like I can't do more than one thing a day. I mean thinking about what I'm going to eat before the time comes stresses me out. </p><p> </p><p>Why do I always have to mentally recover from such simple things? And why does it ruin or occupy my whole day even tho it's only a 1 minute task?</p><p> </p><p>This is honestly scaring me because what if this is all I'm capable of handling? What if eating, going bathroom, showing, going outside, waking, everything, will always be too hard? </p><p> </p><p>What if my brain is broken and I'll never be able to do anything without needing breaks? </p></div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-have-to-recover-from-simple-tasks/td-p/575226" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hey Alel,<br>\n<br>\nThank you for sharing here today and for your honesty about what you are dealing with right now. When we feel like we are at our capacity, the simple things can feel overwhelming and exhausting and not \"simple\" at all.<br>\n<br>\nWe hope that you can treat yourself with kindness throughout this journey. If you ever want to chat, please do not hesitate to reach out to the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636. <br>\n<br>\nTake good care of yourself, Alel. We are sitting here with you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span> <br>\n<br>\nKind regards<br>\nSophie M<br>\n<br>\n </div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-have-to-recover-from-simple-tasks/td-p/575226" }, { "author": "user-id/47893", "content": "<p>So sorry to hear you are going through this. This is me all over. It's really hard to explain to others too I find, without just sounding lazy. The most basic function can take me up to a week to perform, and then I need to pat myself on the back forever to try to continue. I live in terror all the time, for no one particular reason and I feel rage a lot. I am angry at everything but never know why. I too, am agoraphobic and even getting the mail is like another chore that I need to sometimes do after dark, in case someone sees me. I hate that my brain treats me this way and wonder if we do come back for a second life, if we have to bring this brain with us as part of our spirit or is it part of the body? Well you have a good day and I hope you feel better soon</p></div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-have-to-recover-from-simple-tasks/td-p/575226" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49099", "content": "I recently got picked up having 4 capsules at a pub. It's my first offence. Since this I've been spiralling hard. I was already having anxiety issues on daily basis. I can never relax. Feel like I'm faking my way through life. I lost my father to suicide in 2018. I keep thinking of every worst case scenario while I wait for court summons. I used to take drugs a bit when I was younger but not so much recent years. I have a daughter who is 1.5 years old. I find it hard to even look her in the face. I feel like a bad father now. I'm worried about my reputation now in the community. I think about suicide and what would be best way of doing it but I dont think it's an overwhelming sense I'm going to do it.  More casual like what if but I do feel like any other major events I'm not sure how I would cope. I find it hard to sleep sometimes.  I cant relax. My chest is always tight with worry. Just curious if anyone else has been through something similar</div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pending-legal-woes-and-anxiety-depression/td-p/575222" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hey nash1984,  <br>\n<br>\nThank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can understand how difficult it must be at the moment condering the legal stress you are going through, and we really appreciate you being open and sharing what's going on for you right now. <br>\n <br>\nIs there anyone that you feel able to discuss this in person with? We’re reaching out to you to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d encourage you to <a href=\"tel:%201300%2022%204636\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">give the Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636</a> or <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">speak to them on webchat here</a>. <br>\n <br>\nIf you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. That might mean connecting with existing supports, following a safety plan, or you could <a href=\"https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">connect with Lifeline on 13 11 14</a>. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call <a href=\"tel:%20000\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">000</a> (triple zero).  <br>\n <br>\nWe hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.  <br>\n<br>\nKind regards,  <br>\n<br>\nSophie M </div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/pending-legal-woes-and-anxiety-depression/td-p/575222" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48853", "content": "<p>Hi I was have problems with mental health like anxiety  tired depressed no happy.. all this happened from one thing I was had a bacteria in stomach Called Helicobacter pylori long time it make all problems for body after I take medicine I feel very gd no mental health problems so if u want feel happy don’t share anything from any one and if u have married every couple months check ur stomach </p></div>", "date": "05-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/573815" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly ... Sorry that it has been a while for you to get a reply.</p><p><br>It sounds like you've been through a really difficult time with your mental health, and I'm glad to hear you were able to identify the problem that was contributing to your struggles.</p><p> </p><p>And if you wanted to talk I'm listening.</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/573815" }, { "author": "user-id/49070", "content": "<p>I am so sorry you are feeling unwell and it is affecting your mental health. Please try to rest and also do some things that clear your mind, such as going for a walk in fresh air and reaching out to friends.</p><p> </p><p>Also probiotics can help with mental health. You might like to try the Blackmores brand and ask the pharmacist for the best every day probiotic. It really helped me. I also went to get a blood test and the doctor discovered that my vitamin D and Iron was very low. Now that I have improved the probiotics, D and Iron, I feel a lot better. Maybe try to have a blood test and see if there are some deficiencies. </p></div>", "date": "25-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/mental-health/td-p/573815" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49090", "content": "<p>I have had IBS for years which work knows about so sometimes I am late to work or have to take extra sick days.  I have also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia (which includes ibs) and also a unknown cysts that could be magliant. My mental health and memory has declined recently and work has noticed it.  I have changed my duties and hours to see if it helps.  I was supposed to have a procedure a few weeks ago to find out what the cysts are however the hospital cancelled and has rescheduled it in a month.  Work has asked me to reschedule it due to staffing issues. This is seriously stressing me out.  Can they ask me to reschedule? If I do I would be put at the end of a pretty long list and I need to know what is happening. I am constantly in pain and stress makes it worse and I am not performing at 100% which I normally do. I don't know what to do</p></div>", "date": "24-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/work-stress-anxiety/td-p/575145" }, { "author": "user-id/49070", "content": "<p>I can sense how overwhelmed you are in your message. I am sorry that this is a tough time for you. </p><p> </p><p>With the appointment, it is common for workplaces to be inflexible, even though it is not ethical. I would swear a lot here but we are not allowed hahaha. I recommend having a quick 2 minute chat with your boss, keep it casual, doesn't need to be a meeting, just grab them at their desk when they seem chill. Put all of the emotions to the side and stay in control, take some deep breaths and just be super nice and professional and say something like \"hey, you know how I asked for the day to be swapped for my specialist appointment to XYZ date? I am super sorry because I know that its a busy period at that time, but the appointment is quite important and I really just need to attend it. I have to have that day off, I hope it is not going to inconvenience you guys\" wait for the reply then maybe add \"I am happy to stay back an extra hour on the other days to get through the workload if it helps?\" and then be super nice when they allow you to have the day off, act like they did you a huge favour and that will smooth over the relationship. </p><p> </p><p>I know it is kissing their *** a little, but it can get good results to be really friendly and apologetic and pretty much explain briefly that you have to have the day off (not ASK for the day off). Keep your cool and then be thankful. They will let you have the day off for a medical appointment, if you frame it in the way that it is important and you have to go. No need to tell them any details. In fact it is often better to keep that separation and not disclose anything. If they ask, you can say that it's not something you wish to discuss, but you are ok and thank you so much for asking. But of course, if you have a good relationship with them, sometimes its ok to disclose and talk about it. Just be sure to stick with what you are comfortable with. If you don't feel comfortable having to explain yourself, then you don't need to at all. </p><p> </p><p>About not performing 100%, try not to beat yourself up right now. They must have seen your work when you were feeling better, so they already know you are a good employee. They tend not to notice to the degree that we notice when we are dropping the ball. It firstly takes longer for them to even realise that a good employee is not working as well as they previously did; but then the most that they usually think is \"hmm.. they are not doing as well lately, I will keep an eye on them\" and they then get distracted for a few months doing other things. It takes a lot for them to give warnings or want to kick you out. They prefer not to have to go through the hiring and training process. So you have a buffer of time where they are probably not seeing as much as you think they are. Also, maybe you are still doing average work and that might even be fine with them. Some high achievers seem like an asset to the company and then when they get burnt out, their efficiency goes down to normal level. The employer may notice, but not really care, because that employee is actually still doing well and similar level to the others. </p><p> </p><p>But from what you have written I am tempted to say not to worry what they think too much right now. You are having a tough time. Do what you need to do to de-stress and recover.</p></div>", "date": "25-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/work-stress-anxiety/td-p/575145" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49073", "content": "<p>This is just me writing it out because I can't talk to anyone about this. Mid 2022, I had a fairly big argument with my mother. My parent's have been divorced for a while so I'm okay with that. My dad has always been in the picture but would never listen to anything that I had to say about my mental health. And my mum was amazing, and she would listen to me, but then she would go on and tell her new partner, my stepdad, and then he would just laugh at me that it made me feel very embarrassed and I ended up not talking to my mother about this anymore. Then, when this argument about all of this happened mid 2022, I eventually ended up moving out in November 2022. Again, my mother wasn't happy with that, but what was I meant to do. Now, I have been living in my own house since November 2022 and looking after my grandmother. I'm not sure what to do because I am in the centre of all arguments in my family. I started that argument with my mother and then everything else in my family just began to crumble. So, I really focused on my work in childcare centre and my study in university and college. I hope this makes sense, but it's very much a rant. But this is my life.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-depression-because-of-my-situation-in-my-family/td-p/575052" }, { "author": "user-id/47640", "content": "<p>Hi Philip123,</p><p>Welcome and thank you for telling us a bit about yourself. Family can be hard to navigate when not everyone is on the same page and I'm sorry you are feeling stuck in the middle of everything. There is still a lot of misunderstanding about mental health in our society but it is even more difficult when some members of your family don't understand. I also didn't get much understanding from family so I understand how isolating that feels. The only thing I can suggest is to have a calm talk with each of the people involved and try to get you feelings across to them. Ask them if they are interested in learning more about what you are dealing with on a daily basis. If there is an interest on their part, perhaps you could find a suitable book that would give them some insight into your mental health issues. If there is no interest on their part, then you will need to resign yourself to the fact that it is them that has the problem, not you. You really should not have to justify yourself to family to have their support. The fact that you are looking after your grandmother tells me you are a caring and sensitive person, as am I, which means we feel things more deeply than others who do not have that inbuilt sensitivity. If you feel comfortable, please feel free to continue this conversation, you don't have to go through this alone.</p><p>Take care,</p><p>indigo22</p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-depression-because-of-my-situation-in-my-family/td-p/575052" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49070", "content": "<p>This is a rant because I can't tell anyone in my life what I am going through, so I want to write it here. The rant is directed at the teachers who judge me at university, because I occasionally appear a tiny bit abnormal or spaced out. Because I have DPDR and I am managing my debilitating and frightening symptoms while trying to appear normal in conversation. Masking.</p><p> </p><p>Depersonalisation disorder is a hidden illness and it is frustrating to have this through university because I can't tell the teachers about it due to stigma. They think I am 'only suffering from anxiety' and judge me because \"they have anxiety too\".</p><p> </p><p>DPDR fluctuated with stress level. Fact. Imagine being in final year and juggling a lot of competing priorities - it would cause a lot of stress, particularly if there were also life stressors and fatigue involved, correct? So it is logical to suggest that the symptoms of DPDR increase during this time also, making it nearly impossible for me to navigate my studies at no fault of my own. This is NOT my fault and I am tired of teaching staff treating my like I am lazy because I appear normal sometimes, or treating me like I am incompetent because I appear anxious and scattered sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>The anxious and scattered version of me is the DPDR me. It is NOT an accurate representation of who I am in the real world, when I don't have all of these stressors happening. It is NOT an accurate representation of my intellect, or my academic capabilities and it is NOT an accurate representation of my attitude towards my degree or the university. I care very much about my degree and my future career. That's a part of the reason why I am so stressed. Because I actually care. I am NOT lazy, incompetent, unstable, slow or stupid. That is the DPDR you are judging, not ME.</p><p> </p><p>I have a hidden disability - a legitimate disability! One that makes every day a living hell and I am in SO much pain, trying my best to get through each day and then smile and have conversations with everyone as though I am fine at university. I am not fine. If you only knew what it was like under this high level of symptoms, you would fully understand and be supportive. You would be crying after one day of this hell if you felt it. I can barely function each day right now. If I make it to university I only speak with teachers the whole week. So thanks for discriminating against me and making me feel ridiculous and stupid in the only interactions with people that I can manage to have. Cheers. </p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dpdr-depersonalisation-derealisation-at-university/td-p/575030" }, { "author": "user-id/47640", "content": "<p>Hi CountingCrows1,</p><p>Welcome and thank you for letting us know what you are going through, I can only imagine how debilitating this must be for you and I am so sorry you are not getting the support you need from you teachers. There is still a lot of misunderstanding in society about mental health illnesses unfortunately, although it is improving, there is still a long was to go.</p><p>Are you getting some support outside of university? Counselling or other support?</p><p>Does the university have a counsellor or social worker on staff that you could go to and talk about what you are experiencing with the teaching staff?</p><p>I feel despite the stigma, someone should know what you are dealing with so you have some support at university.</p><p>If you reel comfortable, feel free to continue this conversation. Please also make use of the help lines (Beyond Blue or others) when you are feeling overwhelmed. You are going through a lot and you don't need to do it alone.</p><p>Take care,</p><p>indigo22</p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dpdr-depersonalisation-derealisation-at-university/td-p/575030" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/46442", "content": "<p>Hi, this is my first post on here. I struggle with DPDR and anxiety, but the past few days I just haven't been able to get over my negative thoughts and existential anxiety. </p><p>It's like I'm scared to be alive, but also scared to die at the same time. I also keep having really intrusive thoughts of 'how am I even alive', 'why do we live', 'what's the point of feeling good'. It's hard to remain positive because I just don't feel real or alive, and I'm scared that I'll never feel better, but then I get scared that I'll feel better and actually have to live my life. Anyways, I guess I just need help with these thoughts because they're making me feel pretty depressed.</p></div>", "date": "01-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi plushelephant, <br>\n  \n\n Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others. We’re really sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious and existential. We think sharing here is a great step towards feeling better.  <br>\n  \n\n If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support. <br>\n  \n\n We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. We understand you might have been through some of these in the past and it might feel like cold comfort right now, but they’re here in case they do pique your interest:  \n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety</a>  \n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/personal-best/pillar/supporting-yourself/when-your-inner-critic-is-giving-you-a-tough-time\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Beyond Blue Article: When your inner critic is giving you a tough time</a> <br>\n\t  \n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else. <br>\n  \n\n Kind regards, <br>\n  \n\n Sophie M </div>", "date": "01-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/46442", "content": "<p>Hi, thank you for the resources and support. They actually helped me a little even though I'm still worrying. Hopefully I get some community responses soon like you said <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":growing_heart:\">💗</span></p></div>", "date": "01-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hi Plushelephant.</p><p>I don't know much about DPDR (I think you refer to Depersonalisation / Derealisation?) What I do know is many people, ordinary people, philosophers, thinkers, ask themselves &amp; the usiverse or some religious figure, the sorts of questions you have running through your mind, stirring up all those feelings.</p><p>These are the big questions of life. These are questions with no definite answer, except for answers we find or create for ourselves.</p><p>Because these questions are so hard to answer, most people are able to get stuck into what they can do, things they can find in life of interest, or meaning, or worth. or purpose.</p><p>Usually, when people find their own answers, they are looking outside themselves. With courage, they try different things, go places, meet a lot of people. Maybe they find answers, or maybe they find the journey is the whole purpose in itself.</p><p>Whatever it is for you, remember we have our whole lives, no matter how long or short our lives may be.</p><p>All the best,</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "12-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi plushelephant</p><p> </p><p>I can recall when I first came out of long term depression some years ago, very suddenly. It was a truly mind altering experience, not all of it good. While a lot of my false beliefs about myself and life had suddenly vanished, it felt like I was a completely blank slate. Problem is...with a blank slate there are no reference points. Kind of feels like free falling with nothing to grab onto, no grab handles (aka ref points). In hindsight I can see how this happened. Long story short...you begin as a blank slate with an open mind. Other people's ideas and beliefs are <em>gradually</em> given to you over time. All these things go toward telling you who you are in a number of ways. This is not a problem, based on you not being fully conscious of it happening. But if all of a sudden the slate was wiped clean, how would you manage? Hope that makes sense. I suppose it's like if you did a factory reset in a way. The one thing that led me out of what became a highly distressing state of open mindedness and an inability to establish some form of reality was <em>grounding</em>. Researching grounding exercises may be of some help. Btw, unless someone's been through having no sense of reality, they really can't understand how genuinely terrifying it can feel.</p><p> </p><p>Not sure if it will help but I've found that there are always new facets of me coming to life based on the challenges I face over time. We are definitely multifaceted creatures, that's for sure. If you imagine an old style wagon wheel with all the spokes meeting the hub in the middle, you could say those spokes can represent the adventurer in us, the risk taker, the philosopher, the warrior who'll just about fight to the death to defend the heart, the passionate lover, the natural stresser, the sage and so on. Each facet has a different nature. That hub or core sense of self is what manages the whole shabang. So, you could have the philosopher asking 'What is life really about?', the pessimist dictating 'It's a waste of time' and the sage proclaiming 'You need to find the meaning of life, to know <em>why</em> you're here' all at the same time. And then you could have your core sense of self suddenly yell 'Shut up!'. With the core aspect being the grounding aspect, it holds the reigns on every facet of what makes up who we are. If there's no core sense of self, it can all feel completely out of control.</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/21977", "content": "<p>Hi Plushelephant,</p><p> </p><p>I don't think there's anything wrong with the thoughts <span>'how am I even alive', 'why do we live', as another member said below they're philosophical questions, and a lot of people think them. They're valid and don't really make sense to me either lol. 'what's the point of feeling good' though is a sign of depression in some way I'd say. You deserve to feel good. I have always grown up thinking 'Am I even real?' People have said this comes from childhood and not feeling seen, and not connecting with family members, which is true but I still have a lot of confusion around this. </span></p></div>", "date": "23-03-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" }, { "author": "user-id/49070", "content": "<p>Hello, how are you? I hope you are feeling much better these days.</p><p> </p><p>Existential thinking is purposeful to an extent but it is not useful if it becomes a barrier to maintaining healthy wellbeing and mindset. I am sure you know this already :). With dpdr, it is best to steer away from unhealthy forms of existentialism. If you are prone to existentialism, you could try to channel that skill into something useful and healthy that contributes positively to your life. For example, reading interesting books, watching documentaries, studying or writing on topics that do not make you feel more disconnected. Some topics are triggers for furthering the dpdr cycle or feeding symptoms, other topics capture our imagination and focus our thoughts, giving our mind a break from the cycle of dpdr. I guess it is about observing what boundaries you might like to put in place to keep yourself healthy and observing other ways that make you feel better regarding deep/existential thinking. For me, I kept my mindset very simple and stayed away from too much stimulation for a few years, which really helped to re-set and recover from the dpdr. After that, I slowly filtered in ways of thinking that could be a bit deeper and tried to do it in a healthy way. Example, I started studying history and speaking with people about history, which really helped me to have the intellectual stimulation I needed, but did not end up in the existential dread cycle, for example if I was to study consciousness or simulation theory haha then I would get myself in trouble. </p><p> </p><p>With many of those deep questions you raise, it is tuning in to our own mortality and being hyper aware of oneself. This type of thinking can be beneficial and constructive for helping us to make changes and improve our lives; but it could also be detrimental if we dwell on it or lose our motivation in life. It might help to try to make some guesses to answer those questions, just enough to satisfy your own curiosity, without researching too much or over-thinking. We are never going to get a true answer to these big life questions, so all we can do is make a few guesses and then try to think about whats next after that, which is usually \"ok so I have made some guesses for those questions, but what do I do with my life next that makes sense in this framework?\" This is kind of like defining what life means to you and then how to live meaningfully according to your beliefs. Once you have found some meaning, the direction can be created and the direction becomes meaningful, which gives you purpose. For example, I would answer \"why do we live\" as: \"I don't know why we live, maybe it is a simulation of some type. Regardless, I think we are being judged eventually by the choices we make in life. What does this mean for me and how I live my life? I should try to make healthy choices for myself and be kind to others where possible. But also realise that I am human and make mistakes. Which means that it is my intention that really matters, to become a better person, and I will work on the answer for how to do that as I go.\" This is what I have decided as my answer many times and it is enough to satisfy me so that I can move past those thoughts when they come up and just brush them off. Sometimes those thoughts come up when I need to make adjustments or reevaluate and it can be useful at that stage to think things over again. Otherwise I avoid this type of thinking because I am moving in the meaningful direction I created. </p><p> </p><p>So have a bit of a think how to answer the questions and what to do next with that information. I hope it helps you to move past the existentialism. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-dpdr-help/td-p/560069" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I was diagnosed recently with severe anxiety and depression. </p><p> </p><p>I'm scared that no matter how much I overcome my anxiety and depression, it'll still be there. Even if it won't be as bad, just the thought that it'll be there forever, makes me feel broken beyond repair.</p><p> </p><p>I don't want to spend the rest of my life adjusting to the anxiety and depression to fight it. Fighting it everyday for the rest of my life seems exhausting. </p><p> </p><p>I'm also deadly afraid that I won't be able to handle it and go crazy one day. I'm so scared of becoming a lunatic or so messed up.</p><p> </p><p>How do I live with this? I don't want to be conscious of it forever that it drives me crazy. </p><p> </p><p>Please help. </p></div>", "date": "21-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-anxiety-will-stay-for-the-rest-of-my-life/td-p/574939" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, Alel, welcome</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, when we are still young, we are no longer perfect. This seems quite a challenge and in 1987 when I had my first panic attack and subsequent anxiety, I wondered the same thing. Full commitment being the new challenge I imagined anxiety would be gone in a few months but alas, it took me 22 years. That would seem frightening to you but it is a mindset that you will need to tackle.</p><p> </p><p>I sense some negativity in your post. To meet the challenge that negativity will need to be addressed. You can do that by attending motivation speeches and reading how to turn it to a positive mindset. </p><p> </p><p>There is treatment for anxiety and it does involve many different techniques. Find the ones that you feel comfortable with. Rather than go through many of them I have a thread you can read- just read the first post of any links I provide. Doesnt take long.</p><p> </p><p>Anxiety if not treated can evolve into depression, believe me you dont want that.</p><p> </p><p>So we can talk more, I'm here daily so just reply and I'll reply back when on my computer.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/14769...</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/motivation-search-and-rescue-it/td-p/38279</a></p><p> </p><p>P.S  if you were to take a survey of 100 people that passed you on the street to ask them if they are on medication or if they carry illness or injury, you would be lucky to get 5 to 10 that didnt have either.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "22-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-anxiety-will-stay-for-the-rest-of-my-life/td-p/574939" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Dear Alei,</p><p>You seem very anxious about your anxiety but as White Knight explained, it won't go away all at once.</p><p>I had my first anxiety attack in 1973 and it took many years and much discipline to control it.</p><p> </p><p>Attending to regular exercise, deep breathing and meditation were all useful for me and I still practise these daily. Initially I made a list of all the things I could do to control my anxiety and kept this within easy reach so that </p><p>I could refer to it when needed.</p><p> </p><p>Are you having counselling? You can get in touch with one of the Beyond Blue counsellors quickly and it might be a good idea to put the number on your list.</p><p> </p><p>Abive all, please remember that you are in control and the problem is the anxiety, not you yourself.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you will continue to post on the forum so that we can congratulate you on your progress. You can do it Alal.</p><p> </p><p>Warmest regards,</p><p>Richju xxxx</p></div>", "date": "22-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-anxiety-will-stay-for-the-rest-of-my-life/td-p/574939" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48885", "content": "<p>I recently moved out of home at 20 into a share house and I’m feeling really lonely. It’s pretty ironic because I left my mums house a week ago because it was a toxic environment, but moving has made me feel even more isolated. <br>I live with 5 other people and they are insanely quiet. I wake up; silence. I go to bed; silence. It kind of creeps me out a bit, even though I am a shy introverted person, hearing nothing has been freaking me out.<br>It has also made me feel quite lonely, especially on top of being away from my siblings and mother (even if we don’t have the best relationship). I don’t have any friends and now I hardly ever see my family, so I am having a hard time coping. <br>I see a psychologist once a month but it’s becoming too expensive. I don’t know what to do because I’ve already signed a lease and ideally I don’t want to go back to my mothers house. Any advice or support is appreciated.</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you are experiencing this. Moving out of home for the first time can be an isolating experience because you are leaving the home environment that you have always known. It might take some time for you to adjust and warm up to your roommates. Maybe they are quiet because y'all don't know each other well enough yet? Over time this will hopefully improve as you get to know each other. I know it can be hard when you are shy and introverted, but overtime these relationships will grow organically.</p><p> </p><p>\"The grass is always greener on the other side\" is a quote I live by. When you're in one situation (e.g., in the \"toxic environment\" at your mum's house), the other side looks better (e.g., living in the shared house). Now you've moved to the greener side of the shared house, and you are missing your family - isn't it ironic? Remind yourself of why you decided to move in the first place. I think you need to be patient with yourself and give yourself some time to adjust.</p><p> </p><p>Seeing a psychologist is expensive at the moment - are you seeing them through medicare? The gap is around $75 at the moment. if you can get a concession card (are you on centrelink?) it can go down to $35 i believe (maybe check this with your psychologist's practice). it would be a good idea to keep seeing the psychologist as you adjust to your new living situation. alternatively, you could see a counsellor, which might not be as expensive? your local headspace centre might be able to help you: <a href=\"https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/</a></p><p> </p><p>i hope things improve soon,</p><p>jaz xx</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you are feeling lonely - can you still visit your mum and family?</p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" }, { "author": "user-id/48885", "content": "<p>Hey jaz, </p><p>i really appreciate your words of kindness and wisdom. I am not on Centrelink and I’m not eligible unfortunately, so I’m working to cover my costs. On top of that, the out of pocket expense for my psyc is $110 (with Medicare cover as well) because she has studied a masters degree. So my choices are quite limited. I could seek out a cheaper option, but I love my psyc so it would be distressing to do so unfortunately.</p><p> </p><p>It’s been around 4 days now and I’m slowly adjusting. Although it’s still hard, getting into my normal routine is helping significantly. I still cry sometimes at night because I feel as if I’m missing out of my family’s life and talks, but I’m trying to tell myself that I can always see them if I need/want to. I’ve organised to see them for dinner once a week just to help with the transition. In the beginning I was telling myself I couldn’t do that because it is too “codependent” of me. But I need to remind myself that wanting or needing to see your family is a part of life and it is ok. It doesn’t mean I am weak or “bad at moving out”. I guess it’s just hard to continue to remind myself of that. <br><br></p><p>anyway, thank you for your help. It truly helped me so much, and has allowed me to relax. Thanks Jaz, and I hope you are doing ok too.</p><p> </p><p>stella x</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Hey Stella,</p><p>Congratulations for the improvement in just 4 days! I'm so pleased to hear you are beginning to feel more at home. Leaving your family is always a challenge and I feel your descision to meet with your family once a week is a great idea.</p><p>My experience of share houses are dufficult too. After all you are living with people you don't know and who probably come from very different homes. It's not easy. Just a 'hello' and a smile may be a way to begin connection with the others. If they are all quiet, they may feel like you do.</p><p>But I say again, I'm amazed how much you have achieved in just 4 days and hope you will keep posting on the forum to tell us how you're going.</p><p>I really look forward to hearing from you.</p><p>Warmest regards,</p><p>Richju </p></div>", "date": "19-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" }, { "author": "user-id/48885", "content": "<p>Hey Richju,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you so much for your comment. This has made me feel more reassured and validated for what I was/am feeling. <br>I am just trying to remind myself that it’s a part of the process. It is just quite difficult to do so when so many things are going on at once. But I’ve just got to give it time. Posting on this forum and receiving comments like yours has really helped me relax and feel more comfortable in my situation, so again, thank you for taking the time to comment ☺️</p><p> </p><p>Regards,</p><p> </p><p>stella x</p></div>", "date": "19-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Hi Stella,</p><p>Glad you are so much more positive! You are coming along in leaps and bounds. Yes, it will take time but have you thought of keeping a gratitude diary? Just keep a note of good things that happen each day to help you settle. They can be just little things eg. that one of your housemates said hello or someone was playing music you like etc.</p><p>I hope you still seeing your family and finding them easier to be with now. Perhaps experiences from these visits could also go in your gratitude diary.</p><p>I'm so very pleased your replied to my post and really look forward to hearing from you again.</p><p>Love and hugs,</p><p>Richju xxx</p></div>", "date": "21-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-lonely-in-a-sharehouse/td-p/574740" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48914", "content": "<p>It has been several years since this incident but yet I cannot seem to shake the anxiety and worry that has plagued me since. It all happened a few years ago when I had decided to leave a company I had worked at for over 6 years across two continents. At the time of my resignation I was so elated and happy to leave that toxic environment that in an attempt to be proactive I had made a copy of data to facilitate my handovers (a common practice when I was working for the same company in a different part of the world) and also to retain various sources of personal information that had been stored on the laptop over time due to taxes and etc.</p><p> </p><p>This led to a whole complex situation (disciplinary hearings) where I was accused of multiple things, and there were attempts to invalidate my rights to work in Australia. To add to this, they seized my hard drive in question that had my personal data along with the data I had made a copy of to do my hand overs. I had to get lawyers involved and was in the end told to compromise and sign their expectations. In the end, I never actually got to tell my side of the story because they kept changing what they were accusing me off.</p><p> </p><p>Since then I have had bad anxiety and sometimes get panic attacks that just stop me from moving forward with my life. I keep conjuring situations in my mind where my previous company is out there just bad mouthing me to everyone and destroying my reputation. Which in my line of work is important because I have to deal with multiple people and build connections.</p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-a-negative-experience-at-work/td-p/574170" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>A friend of mine has been through a similar experience in regards to accusations. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span></p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you went through with your previous employer. It's understandable that such a stressful and unjust experience would leave you feeling anxious and worried even years later. </p><p> </p><p>Please remember that you did nothing wrong - you were simply trying to be thorough in your handover process, which is commendable.</p><p> </p><p>I know it's hard, but try not to ruminate on what they may be saying about you now. You have so much more power than you realize. If you carry yourself with integrity, honesty and professionalism, most reasonable people will recognize those qualities in you, regardless of what anyone says. Focus on building trust through your own actions - that will speak louder than words.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps it would help to discuss these lingering feelings with a professional counselor. They can help you work through the anxiety and stop it from holding you back. You deserve to move forward and build the life and career you want without this burden.</p><p> </p><p>Listening if you want to chat some more.</p></div>", "date": "13-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-a-negative-experience-at-work/td-p/574170" }, { "author": "user-id/48986", "content": "<p>Hi <a href=\"user-id/48914\" target=\"_self\"><span class=\"\">justinian_ii</span></a> ,</p><p> </p><p>From reading your story, I resonate so much on how you can be doing what you thought was right and to be disregarded and seen as wrong. What's sad is that we can be stuck in that moment, feeling ashamed and guilty even though we have told ourselves that it's okay to fail sometimes, but the thought of it is still awful and triggering for us. Whenever I come across a situation like yours, I always resort to confiding in my family members and venting with my friends, because I know that although others may perceive me in a negative light, but the ones that care about me will always be there for me unconditionally. I hope you do have someone to talk to, but just know that we're here at the online forum and that there are many more in the same boat as you. </p><p> </p><p>Take care, </p></div>", "date": "15-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-a-negative-experience-at-work/td-p/574170" }, { "author": "user-id/48425", "content": "<p>That sounds so stressful. I'd hate to be going through that too. I think it reads like you're scared of people still coming after you, or future repercussions. I can imagine that would be extremely stressful, and honestly, even just reading your post makes me very anxious too. I hope you somehow find some reprieve from what you're feeling.</p></div>", "date": "20-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-a-negative-experience-at-work/td-p/574170" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49301", "content": "<p>Last year I was doing well in school and even got some awards. I could tell that I was happier then and my grades definitely reflected that. At the beginning of this year I had my first few assessments and I did not do as well as I thought ~ 70 for each unit. As the year progressed I started seeing my grades plummet to the 60s and 50s. And for the first time, I failed a few aswell. I still fail to study more in my room and instead resort to video games because I am too sad to write something or solve anything. I don’t know how to get back on track. </p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-grades-are-bad-i-am-too-sad-to-study-what-do-i-do/td-p/576529" }, { "author": "user-id/47334", "content": "<p>Hey Mordecai,</p><p> </p><p>I am a Highschool student myself and honestly what you are experiencing right now is something I am going through as well. I find it challenging to open my books and deal with the overwhelming need to do good at school. I think it's a defence mechanism, one which is letting me down by a lot. </p><p> </p><p>I have made some progress though! I find that setting really tiny goals that sometimes may even sound a little pathetic, even the most tiniest things, always help. For example, I might set a goal like, \"open my biology book\", or \"Write a heading\" Once I tick off one goal, the rest just happens naturally. This gets me going and helps make a difference. Even if I did only 3 minutes of work, that's still 3 more minutes than I would've done before. </p><p> </p><p>I know that it can be daunting to have to face decreasing grades and deal with everything else. But try changing your standards. Don't hold yourself to the same academic goals as when you weren't going through a lot. Be kind to yourself and work upwards.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you find the answers you need,</p><p>Yours_truly</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-grades-are-bad-i-am-too-sad-to-study-what-do-i-do/td-p/576529" }, { "author": "user-id/43202", "content": "<p>Mordecai</p><p>It is hard to study when sad and discouraged and the less you study the sadder you are,</p><p>yours truly mentions small goals and that is helpful. Open book, read for 5 mins, and if you feel like it take notes and do 5 mins.</p><p>I found that the the thought of studying is worse than actually doing it.</p><p>Can You talk to someone at school who can understand and help.</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-grades-are-bad-i-am-too-sad-to-study-what-do-i-do/td-p/576529" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49311", "content": "<p>Hey, I am a 25 year old.</p><p> </p><p>just jumping on as I have got the worst anxiety about having a brain tumour, I have been to the doctors as I have been having severe dizziness and balance issues for over a year now. I got all my bloods tested and everything was really good, she has told me it could be my health anxiety which could be the issue but I have been spending hours on Google and it has told me the worst as I am showing symptoms of a brain tumour I am getting back on medication to see and if not I will need to get a scan which I am really really worried about… has anyone had this experience if so would any one have any tips<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":downcast_face_with_sweat:\">😓</span></p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/brain-tumour-worry/td-p/576580" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>By far the best form of conclusion of a health issue is correct diagnosis. Until that has been established all sorts of harm can come about that will hurt you, like worry.</p><p> </p><p>I thought I had ADHD... I didnt, I had bipolar. Some think they have pneumonia but only have a common cold. Some people get dizzy and think they have a brain tumour but it could be anything from low blood pressure to a spinal issue or eyes out of focus. Dr Google has its limitations. </p><p> </p><p>As for anxiety (as that is what you Dr says it could be) it is a serious illness, more so than what many say. There is a variety of ways to treat it and I'd encourage you to do three things- 1/ keep regular visits to your GP to monitor your symptoms 2/ carry out relaxation classes and therapy 3/ carry out exercises from home.</p><p> </p><p>So I did all 3 back in 1987. Here is the routine history of that.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/seeking-the-origin-of-anxiety/td-p/74769\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/seeking-the-origin-of-anxiety/td-p/74769</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/living-in-fear-or-fearless-living/td-p/548514\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/living-in-fear-or-fearless-living/td-p/548514</a></p><p> </p><p>You only need to read the first post of each. I'd be interested in your views.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/brain-tumour-worry/td-p/576580" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Hello I am 59 years of age - I have had awful health anxiety for 22 years after a series of past medical traumas. Initially I was always going to doctor looking for reassurance whenever I had any symptom but found this just added to my anxiety so now I am a total avoider of doctors or medical tests now - will only go in case of emergency now, if at all because I just find the medical environment so triggering and traumatic. My last visit I had to take a valium just to get through the appointment. </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>So just wondering if anybody else has similar anxiety and wondering what strategies you use to cope or manage? </p></div>", "date": "26-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/36166", "content": "<p>Hi</p>\n<p>I too suffer from health anxiety. I have seen over 15 different doctors over the last two years; probably in excess of 50 visits. Everytime they say I am ok I come home and am alright for a bit then it rears it's ugly head again. </p>\n<p>I suffer from PTSD, severe depression and anxiety. I have suffered from HA since I was a tiny child. I recall seeing a freckle on my arm and thinking it was cancer at age 5 ( we had a scary medical book at home and I was an avid reader!). I eventually burnt that horrid book!</p>\n<p>I can say with all honesty that stress and depression make this horrid thing flare up big time. I too have posted recently about it all. I am having a terrible time and the HA is almost out of control. I have been seeing the Dr every week about my symptoms and he has prescribed an AD which at this stage has made no difference.</p>\n<p>May I ask what your symptoms are? Asking as mine are all neck, jaw and throat related. I have TMJD and Eustachian Tube Dysfunction along with a possible diagnosis of Glossopharyngeal Neuralgia. All related to stress; clenching jaw; grinding teeth in sleep etc. </p>\n<p>Mind you I also had symptoms of pancreatic cancer a while back. The more I thought about it the worse the pain and symptoms were. I truly believe our poor tortured minds create these symptoms. I was also diagnosed with Somatic Symptom Disorder. Again...all related to anxiety and stress and depression.</p>\n<p>I do hope you get some support here. I do not know what is going on with you but I feel you may be in the same boat as I am. I do deep breathing when it gets really bad...I know...sounds useless but it truly does calm the mind somewhat.</p>\n<p>On the other end of the spectrum I think 'oh well if I have such and such I will be strong and get it dealt with\"...our thoughts and anxiety are far worse than any reality if that makes sense.</p>\n<p>Sending you love and hopefully some peace. </p></div>", "date": "02-01-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/30239", "content": "<p>Hello HisOwn</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Thank you for reaching out in the forum and sharing your thoughts. I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling. Health anxiety can be so hard to go through.</p>\n<p>The first time I came to Beyond Blue forums, it was for my health anxiety. I was at the end of my tether and in full blown panic mode - I was convinced I was dying at that point. I had tests coming up to check things and I reach out on this forum as I needed somewhere to express it - and honestly, everyone here on this forum comforted me and saved me from feeling so horrible. Just to know someone had heard me was so great. So I want to say - we hear you and what you are going through is not on your own, anytime you need to talk please feel free to reach out. And it's completely understandable to not be online, I saw your other comment - you just pop in whenever feels comfortable for you. </p>\n<p>In some ways, maybe avoidance of medical doctors and tests may be a way for us to keep control. Or to keep ourselves safe from seeing or hearing something we do not want to. A doctor's office can be quite daunting especially for someone with health anxiety. Do you have a regular doctor (that also understands your health anxiety)? If so, maybe you can look into home visits. As some doctors do offer those! </p>\n<p>On strategies to cope or manage... for me personally, therapy was colossally helpful. My therapist was able to help me identify my thoughts are health anxiety and how to manage them. She gave me breathing exercises and homework to help. My health anxiety was very focused on breathing though - so my therapist had a challenge <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_squinting_face:\">😆</span>! So if I was doing breathing exercises, I focus on the movement of my collarbones or shoulder blades instead of say thinking about the air and I keep focused on that. When a thought would pop up, the aim would gently be to acknowledge it briefly with a word like 'thinking' or similar and re-focus on breathing. </p>\n<p>Do you have any activities or hobbies that you find soothing? Such as: exercise, art, reading, games, etc. As I know for me personally, getting focused on an activity helps my mind to stay involved in that tasks rather than sticking onto repetitive thoughts of anxiety. And if any anxious thoughts did come up, I can just re-orientate myself back to my activity.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>I wish you all the best and that you find some peace with your health anxiety. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "04-01-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Oh sorry for delayed reply..been so out of action with it all for months..so not sure you will even see my reply now..but thank you so much for your tips..yes I have OCD too and that is a nightmare with health anxiety..checking and rechecking symptoms (even symptoms that are not there) and only stop when exhausted! I feel like Im on a 2 edged sword at times because my health anxiety is directly related to trauma from medical doctors so I have zero trust in them to reassure, diagnose or treat correctly so sometimes it is just me and the Lord..I will be very interested to read your articles about OCD but not sure where to find them. Perhaps you can post a link for me?</p><p> </p><p>Many thanks again <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "18-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>So sorry for delay to reply..I kind of fell off my perch the last few months with the depression and anxiety so did not socialise with anyone much, even online.</p><p> </p><p>I wish I could have your attitude about getting sick and just say \"oh well\" but the PTSD kicks in with me and so just the thought of it is terrifying for me..so not sure how Im going to deal with it all except don't even think about it..but of course symptoms dont allow that.</p><p> </p><p>I have all sorts of symptoms..I get quite ridiculous sometimes and turn everything into cancer so it is a real psychological issue for me. </p><p> </p><p>I am a little bit better since I first posted here after having a deep discussion with my sister who is a registered nurse but still dont want to get a disease! I turned 60 recently too so perhaps that frightened me a bit..getting old etc..</p><p> </p><p>I really just want to grow old gracefully and pass away peacefully in my sleep! </p></div>", "date": "18-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Thank you so much for your response..Ive only just logged back in now after being really unwell for months with depression..then lost a close friend to cancer so it set everything off for me again..had awful PTSD flashbacks about my past trauma..but I got through it..it made me face some fears and just deal with it..but still battling with a lot of it..mainly depression now..just started on some medication for depression and hoping that will help a bit.</p><p> </p><p>No I don't have any hobbies..just watching YouTube occasionally and just doing housework and caring for my daughter who has a disability..but going to try to volunteer somewhere in my town soon to start reconnecting with people again because I find that helps somewhat too.</p><p> </p><p>Many thanks for your kindness and your advice..I really appreciate it <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "18-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear HisOwn~</p><p>It's a great pity it is the medical profession itself that is the cause of your PTSD, the distrust that comes with  that condition makes it all the harder to accept anything they say about symptoms or the lack of likelihood of cancer.</p><p> </p><p>As somone wiht PSTD I can well understand, however I can offer a little encouragement in saying my symptoms have reduced an awful lot over the years and no longer rule.</p><p> </p><p>Still in your own way I think you are finding that some conversations do help. I would suspect that after talking ot your sister as a nurse you might find you are more inclined to accept what she says as being at least a possibility.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/m-p/16138/highlight/true#M2610\" target=\"_blank\">Petal22's posts</a> too offer hope that OCD can be coped with.</p><p> </p><p>I do hope you can keep talking, at least here if there is no one else, there is nothing like another human to be with , it tones down a lot of unpleasant things.</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "19-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Thank you Croix..that is very encouraging to hear that your symptoms have reduced significantly..<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "20-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear HisOwn~</p><p>I'm glad I was able ot give a little positive. Actually it has been a sort of slow motion thing since I was first told I'd reach the place I'm at now. In fact I flat out did not believe it and thought it was just so much thoughtless hype.</p><p>I have ot say now flashbacks are conscious (so I can know what is happening and see them for what htey are), nightmares are there at times but have branched out to not just the same few things, and are reasonably easy to handle (biscuit and cocoa:). My level of distrust is almost gone and I have room for others in my life - even love. I can get satisfaction from what I do.</p><p>Time, therapy, medication and personal support all have played their part -as has luck.</p><p>I'd have to say I was a total mess, and if someone like me can reach a good recovery point I'd imagine very many others will too.</p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "20-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/14258", "content": "<p>Hi there! </p><p> </p><p>I too have suffered with debilitating health anxiety - like many other commenters, it was associated with OCD and phobias. I was heavily medicated for several years throughout which I underwent therapy, and the issues seemed to build and morph into entirely uncontrollable entities. </p><p> </p><p>My final visit to emergency for this resulted in a referral to a new kind of therapy for me - psychotherapy. I mention this because somehow discussing and processing the traumas was the only thing that helped me in any substantial way - CBT, ERP, DBT, TMS, MI never worked as I was in an obsessive rut. Exposure therapy was so anxiety-provoking that it would trigger agoraphobic, TMS did absolutely nothing, medication helped to the extent that I physically couldn't have a panic attack... but psychotherapy got me to a point where I have and identity again, I can eat and function without compulsions and panic, I'm even off my medication(s) now. </p><p> </p><p>Admittedly, symptoms still exist, I have emetophobia, but I am a functional person without panic attacks. It helped me to see what would trigger the anxiety - certain stressors in life would manifest as OCD and create a feedback loop. In terms of mindfulness, breathing exercises are too hard for me as I react very viscerally to hyperventilating (too many bad associations) but other things like exercise (I had to really work with my anxiety for this), and learning to enjoy things too. None of this would have been possible without processing my traumas and understanding why I felt certain things, and learning to feel neutral towards behaviours and compassionate to myself (especially when triggered, which is very hard). </p></div>", "date": "20-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Wow that is very encouraging to hear! Thank you! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "25-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Hello I am 59 years of age - I have had awful health anxiety for 22 years after a series of past medical traumas. Initially I was always going to doctor looking for reassurance whenever I had any symptom but found this just added to my anxiety so now I am a total avoider of doctors or medical tests now - will only go in case of emergency now, if at all because I just find the medical environment so triggering and traumatic. My last visit I had to take a valium just to get through the appointment. </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>So just wondering if anybody else has similar anxiety and wondering what strategies you use to cope or manage? </p></div>", "date": "26-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Wow Croix that is very encouraging to hear! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "25-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Yes I think I need pyschotherapy..I do see a pyschologist once a month and it does help a little bit..mainly with having strategies..</p><p> </p><p>Gosh I tried exposure therapy too and it just ended up making my anxiety way worse and has taken me months to calm down just from that..trauma is so complex unfortunately..</p><p> </p><p>Yes breathing exercises are triggering for me too but sometimes I just shut my eyes and do it because it does eventually calm the physical reactions of anxiety. </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes I wake up in the mornings just wishing sickness and disease in this world did not even exist but I know that is not reality so I have to find a way to cope or function around that..</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "25-10-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Oh that is so wonderful to hear <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "08-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Woops I had already replied to you Croix..sorry..I am still getting used to how these forums work <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":thinking_face:\">🤔</span></p></div>", "date": "08-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/6744", "content": "<p>Hi there, I haven't been on these forums for awhile, I always find an excuse not to. But this morning with five minutes to kill I finally got around to logging in again and I'm so glad I did. I'm sorry I can't help, but you are definitely not alone. In the last two days I've been absolutely convinced that I have both appendicitis and am having a heart attack. But I'm also absolutely avoiding anything medical (did a few laps of the hospital car park last night) so also feeling really stupid and just out of whack and what the hell is wrong with me? Thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to hear this from other people today.</p></div>", "date": "08-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/45033", "content": "<p>Great info I would love to just be present and not get caught up in racing thoughts and ruminating </p></div>", "date": "12-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Oh Emma I so relate. It is one of the hardest forms of anxiety sometimes especially if we have no real trust in medical professionals either. At one point I went into doctors surgery to get some routine blood tests done but because they were so busy at the time I was standing at the reception desk for at least 5 minutes and that was enough time for me to then go into a major panic attack about it and leave suddenly with getting the tests done. I actually left in tears because I also felt so embarrassed about me, a grown woman of nearly 60, being so frightened. </p><p> </p><p>So doing laps around the hospital car park is some I would definitely do too! </p></div>", "date": "23-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Carmysauras..yes I would absolutely love to be able to do that too but it is one of the hardest things to do when anxiety levels are so high - it feels so scary to let go of worry and anxiety sometimes because then we are not in control <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_screaming_in_fear:\">😱</span>..but Im slowly learning that worrying and being anxious NEVER changes nor helps what we are fearing.</p></div>", "date": "23-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Dear HisOwn,</p><p>I tend to worry about health appointments too so I can understand how you feel. I've had cancer, so I have to go for yearly check-ups, which make me nervous.</p><p>I was interested about the puzzles because I play a lot of online Scrabble, which helps me to relax.</p><p>When waiting for my appointment, it's not unusual for me to play ten games of Scrabble on my mobile. I'm improving my game and my ability to relax. The app is called Classic Words, if you'd like to check it out.</p><p>I'll tell you something amusing too. I went for a scan and one radiologist said to the other,'ninety-six'. The other nodded and I became really anxious because ninety-six is such a high number. I went home in a panic but I was never called back by my GP and I still don't know why ninety-six was said. So now I tell myself not to try and interpret what medical professionals say as I have very limited medical knowledge.</p><p>I'm not intending to make light of your issue, HisOwn but I find a little humour helps sometimes.</p><p>Warm regards </p><p>Richju xx</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Hi HisOwn,</p><p>Contrarymary has her puzzles and I play online scrabble. Sometimes I play ten or so games one after another, especially if I'm nervously waiting to see a doctor. It helps me to focus and the only equipment I need is my mobile.</p><p>I also tell myself that tests, scans and xrays are common now and are generally given to make sure that nothing is wrong rather than to find something.</p><p>I have also given my anxiety a name - Zelda and I regularly tell her to shut up and let me concentrate on my scrabble.</p><p>Zelda always tags along wherever I go. She is a pest but i've got used to her.</p><p>These forums have also helped me so I hope you keep posting.</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Richju xxxxx</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Hello I am 59 years of age - I have had awful health anxiety for 22 years after a series of past medical traumas. Initially I was always going to doctor looking for reassurance whenever I had any symptom but found this just added to my anxiety so now I am a total avoider of doctors or medical tests now - will only go in case of emergency now, if at all because I just find the medical environment so triggering and traumatic. My last visit I had to take a valium just to get through the appointment. </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>So just wondering if anybody else has similar anxiety and wondering what strategies you use to cope or manage? </p></div>", "date": "26-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/25170", "content": "<p>Hi HisOwn,</p>\n<p>Wellcome to our forums!</p>\n<p>Im sorry you have been going through this.</p>\n<p>I understand I also suffered with health anxiety, just when I’d have a symptom of something on my body I’d go to the doctor to have it checked only to be told it was ok…….. I would still obsess over it…… then I’d forget about that symptom and move onto another one following the same cycle…….. I later learned in therapy that this was a compulsion of mine….. reassurance seeking….</p>\n<p>Later in my life my anxiety became severe I’d still follow this same cycle………. </p>\n<p>I did a mental health plan with my gp and I also went to a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist I was diagnosed with OCD.</p>\n<p>I did a group therapy for my OCD and I’ve now mastered it and have now learned to disengage from the vicious cycle of OCD and life couldn’t be better…. I learned many strategies in this therapy.</p>\n<p>Im not saying you have OCD it’s something I have a lived experience of that I’ve recovered from thanks to help I received from health professionals.</p>\n<p>Some strategies….. practice mindfullness, meditation is great, thought challenging….. really practice being in the present moment.</p>\n<p>Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading </p>\n<p>From someone who suffered with OCD and recovered </p>\n<p>Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy </p>\n<p>Please ask me any questions </p></div>", "date": "27-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi welcome </p>\n<p>The problem with triggers is they are usually by nature an unrealistic response to a memory. Being over reactive or knee jerry creates excessive defences and before you know it you've isolated yourself from people you actually need be it family, friends or in your case medical staff.</p>\n<p>It was 1987 when, at 31yo I went through a similar experience. It took a 12 month stint to a therapist to guide me on the right track. His assessments led to guidance and much improvement. He taught me to ask myself \"am I being realistic\" with my fears. Also how to regulate my perspectives. And finally how to overcome anxiety.</p>\n<p>So, I think you'd benefit from therapy a lot.</p>\n<p>Also, please google the following threads and read the first posts.</p>\n<p>Beyondblue topic worry worry worry </p>\n<p>Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it </p>\n<p>Beyondblue topic meditation, he helped me for 25 years- Maharaji </p>\n<p>Reply anytime. Love to know your thoughts </p>\n<p>TonyWK </p></div>", "date": "27-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "Thank you very much Petal..yes I do have OCD and I am I therapy and have been for past 6 years now. Thank you for sharing that - it definitely helps - I definitely have same patterns of going from one thing to the next so learning how to deal with that with different strategies. Many thanks for responding <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></div>", "date": "27-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Thank you very much Tony for your reply. Yes I am in therapy and it definitely helps.</p>\n<p>Thank you too for those thread topics. I will definitely have a look at them. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "27-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "I will check out your threads too..thank you for that!</div>", "date": "27-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/25170", "content": "<p>That’s ok HisOwn your definitely not alone….. I’m sorry you have to deal with OCD I understand how debilitating it can be sometimes.</p>\n<p>I thought I would share something with you that may help you…. It takes practice though….. I was taught this during my OCD therapy and it has really helped me to know what my OCD cycle was and then once I knew I was getting caught up in my OCD cycle I was able to disengage from it by using my strategies.</p>\n<p>Its called driving the new system </p>\n<p>These intrusive thoughts/ urges/ images / images mean…….” Nothing”Im normal 94percent of people have them</p>\n<p>Even if they seem or feel really awful! They still mean…. Still normal/ random activity </p>\n<p>When I have an intrusion ( and I will) I can…. <br>\nLet it go</p>\n<p>Be present </p>\n<p>Gentle dismiss as “my intrusion “</p>\n<p>Be ok with uncertainty nothing is 100 percent certain </p>\n<p>I don’t need to </p>\n<p>Annalyse</p>\n<p>Seek reassurance </p>\n<p>Checking</p>\n<p>Avoid thoughts </p>\n<p>Because they don’t mean anything “ thoughts mean nothing “</p>\n<p>If I have a bad day ( get caught up in intrusive thoughts or compulsions) I can remind myself that OCD occurs on a sliding scale </p>\n<p>Some days I am further along the scale than others.</p>\n<p>If I keep working at driving my new system my good days will out weigh my bad days.</p>\n<p>I hope this helps you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p>\n<p>Have you practiced meditation it was part of my therapy and it get me over the line.</p>\n<p>Also practicing being present is really helpful I was always so engaged in my mind but I’ve now learned to be more present.</p>\n<p>Once you realise when you are analysing your thoughts ect you can disengage by focusing your attention on the present moment.</p>\n<p>After learning this system I was able to also not get caught up in my health anxiety because I learned it was part of my OCD cycle and I could disengage from my OCD cycle.</p>\n<p>Please ask me anything <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span> I’m glad you are in therapy in helps…… my group therapy was great I realised then that I wasn’t alone many others have the same condition but there is Hope you can learn to break free of the OCD cycle <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p></div>", "date": "28-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/40825", "content": "<p>Hi HisOwn</p>\n<p>i am in a similar boat to yourself I was at my GP or emergency at the hospital every week thinking I had some illness. If I got a pain the arm it was a heart attack a headache was a brain tumour. My family were getting fed up it was mums sick again I had every test my GP could think of nothing he referred me to a therapist who said keep busy, think of other things, mindfulness etc.</p>\n<p>what helped me was once when I went to emergency with chest pain had lots of tests doctor said you have been here a lot have you ever thought you might be suffering stress and anxiety and health anxiety So I went home googled stress and anxiety symptoms and decided to do something, tried mindfulness but could not get the hang of it, then I got a jigsaw puzzle from op shop sat for hours finishing it, went back and bought more. Now when I feel stressed or anxious I get out a jigsaw puzzle even if I wake in the night I ge up and put a few pieces in, don't know why it helps me but I have not been to my GP or emergency since May</p></div>", "date": "28-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/8928", "content": "<p>Hi HisOwn,</p>\n<p>Thank you for your relatable post. </p>\n<p>I myself do not suffer from health anxiety specifically but general anxiety disorder. A friend of mine however suffers from severe anxiety when entering hospitals and other medical centres due to trauma from cancer. To calm his anxiety he often takes a person he trusts with him. Or if by yourself, you can use basic meditation techniques. By calming ourselves down and separating the anxiety from the place it can help reduce the strength of a panic attack. Breathing techniques such as imagining your breath as a colour, bring along a stress ball, finding 5 things that are coloured orange in the medical centre can help take your mind off of your anxiety. </p>\n<p>Also, by letting the doctors office know about your anxiety over the phone prior to your appointment, they may make your appointment faster and involve less or no small talk. </p>\n<p>Love to hear from you! </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "28-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" }, { "author": "user-id/8477", "content": "<p>Thanks so much to everyone's responses..sorry I haven't replied directly to everyone..have had a difficult few days with anxiety so not always online..but I have read all responses and will reply once Im back on track a bit and more focused and more logical <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":hugging_face:\">🤗</span></p></div>", "date": "30-12-2021", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/health-anxiety-how-do-you-manage/td-p/16132" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49247", "content": "<p>Today I must admit I am struggling and have been for a while. I read some statements of affirmation I had written last year and it really helped. Just being here and being honest has also helped me as well. But, gee it’s hard work. The anxiety just ebbs and flows. </p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/some-days-are-a-struggle/td-p/576212" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>When I first knew I had high anxiety with a panic attack, my one and only, I reviewed my whole life, every bit of it. Meaning environment, career, family, friends hobbies etc.</p><p> </p><p>I came up with a plan that also included medical treatment. Then it took me far longer to eliminate anxiety than what I thought... 22 years actually. But it can take less. Yes it is possible to eliminate it, that doesnt mean it wont return in some form but overall I sit here and recall 1987 when I first challenged myself to rid my life of anxiety and I'm happy I did.</p><p> </p><p>So here is the link to that. I hope you enjoy the reads and reply anytime</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-how-l-eliminated-it/td-p/183873</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-slowing-doooowwwnnn/td-p/548759\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-slowing-doooowwwnnn/td-p/548759</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/running-around-trying-to-save-the-world/td-p/143535\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/running-around-trying-to-save-the-world/td-p/143535</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/living-in-fear-or-fearless-living/td-p/548514\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/living-in-fear-or-fearless-living/td-p/548514</a></p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/some-days-are-a-struggle/td-p/576212" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/13301", "content": "<p><span>I work a retail job and I am quite frankly I am sick of it. I have been there for over 5 years now and I am getting tired of having to ask to be moved and changed up constantly. Yes I know we are short staffed and need to give the new staff a chance to learn various departments. I was moved into the checkout/ self serve department from night fill (I asked to be moved to another department - merchandise, which management at the time said that they could put me in the department, but then a few weeks later without my knowledge, they go and put me in checkouts/ self serve. A department that lacks variety, which is something I despise. I voiced them this but anyway, here we are. Since then I have managed to land a part-time job at another place so it breaks up my week and I am not constantly at this retail job, but I am still not happy with that job either, but I keep looking for other opportunities with my skill set. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>I had a shift on the weekend where I was working and a customer seemed they disappointed in my service (I don't even know what I did to be honest) so again I shouldn't just assume and should just ask the customer why she seemed upset, she asked for my name at the end of the transaction and when I said goodbye she looked disappointed and just shrugged and walked of.  It wouldn't surprise me if she put a complaint in. After that interaction I started to feel myself get emotional and wanted to cry but I couldn't since I had a line up of customers to serve that constantly put things on my till to ring through and my script of 'how are you today, need a bag?, have a loyalty card?', of course I have to keep constantly repeat myself as we have a safety screen and it makes it hard for people to hear.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I was rostered on to work another checkout shift on the Sunday but I ended up walking out as soon as I started, I wasn't in the mood to work plus I am unwell and I have an overseas trip that I am leaving for very soon so I was already feeling anxious and emotional as it is. Yes I know I should be grateful to be rostered on to work on the weekend and get penalty rates and being a casual is good money. Yes I am aware that that wasn't the right thing to do and that I should've called in sick instead to allow them to find someone else to cover. One of the managers followed me as I left and I basically told her that I was sick of working here, how there is no growth and no variety and that I wanted to resign.  She told me the process to resign so now it is up to </span></p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/retail-job-rant/td-p/576237" }, { "author": "user-id/13301", "content": "<p>Part 2:</p><p>me to follow through on that I guess. </p><p>I have been unhappy there for a while and I find myself becoming so easily irritated and losing patience, not even at this job but in my life in general when I wasn't always like that. I am not sure what is wrong with me and why this is happening. Perhaps I feel entitled and am becoming/ became an entitled brat of this generation (I am 28 btw). Perhaps I just need a good kick up the backside to wake me up. Idk.</p><p> </p><p>Thing is, what other jobs are out there if I seem to be sick of customer service and not suitable for it? I wasn't always like this, I enjoy/ed helping people but I seem to not enjoy working with people anymore. I like having variety and having things to do, I sometimes don't mind the people interaction as it is good to be social and breaks up the monotony but I also find myself getting impatient when I am constantly bugged and can't complete my work. I think I am just too fussy and being too difficult now as I write this. </p><p> </p><p>Is there anyone that could help? before I resort to coming to the conclusion that I am just a ungrateful brat and that I am being too difficult.</p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/retail-job-rant/td-p/576237" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Losttwentysomething_</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you as you become more conscious of what feels so intolerable. Personally, I have a lot of respect for anyone who works in retail, as I just couldn't do it these days unless I had absolutely no choice. I stopped working with the public at 20, which is going back few decades or so.</p><p> </p><p>I think we can be grateful for the job and life we have but still feel a deep need to <em>not settle</em>. Not being able to settle doesn't necessarily make us an ungrateful brat. I like to think it can more so define us as sensitive. If I'm sensitive to the dismissive nature of management, sensitive to highly triggering people/customers, sensitive to the need to move onto something that suits me in perhaps more soulful ways etc etc, that's not my <em>fault</em>, that's actually points to my <em>ability</em> to <em>feel</em> the need for change and <em>feel</em> what just doesn't work for me anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Personally, I'm a sensitive gal, something I see as a strength. I think sometimes we gotta trust what we sense, as opposed to living in self doubt. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/retail-job-rant/td-p/576237" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49269", "content": "<p>I’ve been experiencing leg aches, neck hotness, back pain, blurry vision, muscle twitches and a tight diaphragm. I am terrified I have fibro. All my tests have come back clean, but of course fibro doesn’t show on such tests. I have always had extreme anxiety, depression, panic etc, and over the last 6 months its gotten worse. Through this journey I discovered I have a bulged disc in my neck and lower back, as well as scoliosis and kyphosis. Regardless, I am still so scared I have fibro, as so many of my symptoms line up. I hope it’s just health anxiety and physical manifestations of that. </p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-or-fibro-very-scared/td-p/576325" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hi tlinn26,</p><p>I am really sorry to hear that you are experiencing so many symptoms and such extreme anxiety. It sounds like there a lot going on for you right now. Do you have a GP or a healthcare professional that you trust that you feel able to talk to about your fears and experiences?</p><p>Please do not hesitate to use these forums as and when you need. We are here to listen and support you.</p><p>Be kind to yourself and take care. </p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-or-fibro-very-scared/td-p/576325" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>There is a candle in our community burning pwerful beautiful and bright that is the unity we have as a community to make a difference for aborigganal and Torres strait islanders. We must stand as one nation under the banner of peace and harmony to build a better more prosperous future for those in our community that are disadvantaged and underprivaleged who are struggle to close the gap they also need to better health care and stronger education outcome we can stand agianst the tidel wave and face adversity we have the power and fortitude to change Australia for the better to open the door to new possibilities not close the door on future allies which are the proud Aboriganal nation .</p><p> </p><p>This community has beautiful artists with beautiful paintings. There langauges are so diverse that there is more than 150 tribes that exists with in this proud culture. They have different kind of bush foods we can learn and grow many that don't exist on any other continent. We have flora and fauna that don't exist in any other country australian cooking has changed for the better with the introductions of these foods</p><p> </p><p>It is important to stand with the down trodden and against predjiduce.</p><p> </p><p>This is our 1 chance to change australia for the better and stand against injustice. We can only change tide one stone at a time one grain of rice at a time. People think we don't have the power to change things in life we have a chioce to change derection towards a powerful prosperous future lets stand and walk towards forgivness and peace not towards more difficulty and struggle this is our chance to stand up for injustice and find the strength in our selves to turn the scales.</p><p> </p><p>There is a run around Australia that is being done to show the power and derversity of our nation. It is important to know which derection to run in life which path is more powerful and prosperous in life I choose to stand with my brothers and sisters around the country to give them a vioce and an opportunity to rise to there adversity to help them in there time of need and heart break. </p><p> </p><p>We must choose to forgive and not look to the past but look at the change we can make for the future to change to a more powerful prosperous future with clean energy possibilities and an opportunity for every person that walks through the door we are all humans with feeling and emotions . I have been discriminated against I am a person of a disability.</p><p> </p><p>Hold out your hand and walk with those who need you most and be brave and help </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/aboriganal-and-torres-strait-islander-blue-flame/td-p/576329" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>I hear you, Elephant86.</p><p> </p><p>If not now, then when? </p><p> </p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/aboriganal-and-torres-strait-islander-blue-flame/td-p/576329" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/35054", "content": "<p>Hi everyone<br>\n<br>\nNew member here - my first day actually.<br>\n<br>\nI too suffer health anxiety. people always ask what's bothering you? what causes the anxiety? I know very well it's health issues. Apart from how i feel health wise I have a pretty good life and nothing I should feel fearful about.<br>\n<br>\nI've had Health Anxiety for at least 10 years.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Im wondering if its mainly or all anxiety or if it may be FIBORMYALGIA?</p>\n<p>My symptoms are:<br>\n* Sore/aching legs, feet<br>\n* Sore/aching lower back<br>\n* Sore/aching stomach/pelvis area<br>\n* Sore/aching and sometimes stinging bladder area<br>\n* Sore/aching rectum area? THIS CONCERNS ME THE MOST<br>\nI have had two cystoscopys and a colonoscopy and they found nothing of real interest. Ive had about 10 blood tests recently, urine tests, bone density scans, x rays, ultrasounds etc and nothing is ever found.<br>\nI do have scoliosis but besides that nothing that can really warrant constant aching day and night.<br>\nI worry and obsess about it all day and everyday.<br>\nDoes this sound like health anxiety? Does anyone have any tips that WORK....and/or want to talk to me about it via email?<br>\nFeeling pretty down and hopeless <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span><br>\n<br>\nJ</p></div>", "date": "01-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/13289", "content": "<p>Hello James and welcome to Beyond Blue forums.</p>\n<p>It does sound like you aren't well at the moment. How frustrating when they can't find anything the matter. I'm pleased you reached out to our community here. People are friendly, caring, supportive and non judgemental. </p>\n<p>I'm not a health professional, so really can't provide you with any advice about your symptoms. What I can do is give you some of my own experience with anxiety. </p>\n<p> I was first diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression a bout 7-8 years ago. However, for at least 20 or more years before that, I too suffered aches, pains and extreme fatigue. The doctors could never find anything wrong with me, at times it was thought I might have chronic fatigue. However, it was never diagnosed and I got on with my life, living through the aches, pains and tiredness. </p>\n<p>Then when I remembered (7-8 yrs ago) a trauma that happened to me as a child, my body felt every bruise I received, yank of the arm, pull of the hair, along with a lot of other trauma. For several years, while I mentally worked with my psychologist through the trauma, my body worked through it's trauma. It was an extremely painful and anxiety provoking time. What was happening to me? My psych and I talked through this. I went and had reiki, not sure if that helped. Also had myofascial massage to help release the pain caught up in my muscles, joints and bones. All the mental and physical therapy has helped me significantly and these days I'm relatively pain free, except for arthritis in my joints which is expected at my age.</p>\n<p>It is good to hear that all your tests have come back clear. The only thing I know about fibromyalgia does cause a lot of aches and pains. Have you been to see your gp about it? Do you see anyone for your health anxiety? It would be good to have someone to talk with. By the way, there is no pressure for you to answer any of my questions if you don't want to. Just helps me support you in the best possible way.</p>\n<p>If you want to find out more about health anxiety - do a google search for '<em>overcoming health anxiety workbook Centre for Clinical Intervention</em>'. Getting to know what it is about helps to understand what you are going through and also gives you self help tips.</p>\n<p>Beyond Blue forums and homepage are also a good source of factual information about health anxiety. Do a search in the search field for - i) Tips for managing anxiety ii) health anxiety.</p>\n<p>Keep reaching out to us here. Let us know how you get on.</p>\n<p>Kind regards</p>\n<p>PamelaR</p></div>", "date": "02-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/35054", "content": "<p>Thank you Pamela</p>\n<p>I have spoken to my mum who is a great support and doctors and specialists who haven't really been able to help manage this.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>I haven't seen a psych - it seems you'd really recommend me doing this as it seems to have worked wonders for you?</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/13289", "content": "<p>Hello James<br>\nThank you for reaching out again. The Beyond Blue community rules doesn’t allow us to share information, e.g. email addresses. So we can share information here.<br>\n<br>\nYes, seeing a psychologist has helped me tremendously to work through my trauma, anxiety and depression. It took me awhile to find the right one that suited my needs. There have been one or two that didn't help at all and I stopped going to them, the other 2 have been excellent. They gave me the tools to help me manage myself and for me, that's what I need. <br>\n<br>\nIt is good to hear you can talk with your mum and doctor. What do they say about your symptoms?</p>\n<p>Kind regards</p>\n<p>PamelaR</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/31971", "content": "<p>Hi James</p>\n<p>I also struggle with anxiety/panic disorder mostly pertaining to my health. I have a couple of health issues, but the anxiety makes things far worse.</p>\n<p>I can't offer medical advice, but I've heard that both anxiety &amp; fibromyalgia type symptoms can be helped with a gentle exercise regime. Perhaps you could see a physio to help with that? (Easier said than done when you're tired &amp; in pain, I know! I'm just starting out myself) Cbt therapy with a psychologist may also assist you. I find that sometimes I focus on my symptoms &amp; what could be wrong &amp; I feel worse, instead of all of the tests that have come back healthy &amp; everything that is right with me! Cbt can help with this <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>Take care!</p></div>", "date": "04-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/20989", "content": "Hi James <br>\nBased on the symptoms you describe, it sounds like the only issue you actually have is health anxiety! I have had it on and off for 6 years. I have had biopsies and ultrasounds and blood tests and I am still as physically healthy now as I was back when it all started. I just wish I could go back in time and tell myself \"I can absolutely guarantee you are going to be perfectly healthy for the next 6 years at least so please don't let this distract you from your amazing life!\". I mean i have actually had 6 years of being completely healthy - but I have been too busy worrying about dying to actually live. The irony! I am quite a spiritual person and I just believe that my body knows its healthy so health anxiety is the perfect thing for my stress to manifest through as it will never go away (because I will never get these illness i fear - just be always afraid of them!). <br>\nI know for sure that for me the tests and doctors appointments do absolutely nothing to make me feel better - if having a thousand tests and seeing my GP a million times was going to cure my health anxiety then it should definitely be cured by now, but it isn't! <br>\nI have been working with my psychologist on this for about 6 months now and she believes that health anxiety is largely about fear of not being in control and also the result of unmet care needs. So your brain latches on to health related issues because if you are sick or under the threat of illness, people rally around you, people listen to you, people are there for you perhaps in ways that they would not be if you weren't under threat (real or perceived). So we have been working on assertiveness, self compassion, trust and surrendering. It definitely does help to go and talk to someone who can unpack all of your fears and trace them back to the source. <br>\nI have been in some real states with my health anxiety (unable to eat, sleep or work for weeks at a time) but since seeing my psychologist I have had a period of 4 months where I have felt happy, healthy and functional. I have been able to stand back and look at my anxiety and think \"i cant believe i let myself believe all of that, i cant believe i could be so caught up in all of this\" and this was without medications. It doesn't go away straight away but it is definitely possible to get some relief, I promise!<br>\nWishing you the best of luck on this journey of HEALTH ANXIETY (nothing else!).<br>\n<br></div>", "date": "11-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/13289", "content": "<p>Hello Starley</p>\n<p>Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum. The community is caring, friendly, supportive and non judgemental. </p>\n<p>Thank you so much for sharing your story here. Especially for the information you've given James about how you are managing your health anxiety. It's good to have you on board.</p>\n<p>Feel free to create your own thread anytime if you need to. Thanks once again.</p>\n<p>Kind regards</p>\n<p>PamelaR</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/35054", "content": "<p>thanks so much for your reply! And to you ALL</p>\n<p>Doctors and family are all urging me to see a psychologist - and it seems that is the right course for me <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "05-09-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/24393", "content": "<p>Hi James2018, </p>\n<p>It doesn't sound like fibromyalgia to me; fibromyalgia sufferers would generally have pain in the upper body as well, though fibro does affect everyone differently. Scoliosis could be causing the leg pain and lower back pain if your posture is poor, causing your hips to be misaligned. Stress could also be causing this pain as when we are tense we tend to have tight muscles. I have health anxiety and fibromyalgia and, as others have already stated, it does sound like you are suffering from health anxiety. My tips would be to try taking up yoga or stretching to see if it helps the pain. It sounds like you are seeing a psychologist now, I hope that has been helpful for you. You just need to remember that you've done lots of testing and nothing sinister has shown up so it is not fatal. Whenever you're feeling stressed, do some deep breathing exercises. </p>\n<p>Hope your doing better now <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "27-01-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" }, { "author": "user-id/49269", "content": "<p>I too have the same symptoms as James, in fact I also have scoliosis. I also have kyphosis with a bulged disc in my neck and back. I found this out in my health journey to find what was wrong with me. I desperately want to believe it’s health anxiety but seemingly unlike James I also get blurry vision, muscle twitches, jaw &amp; head tension, as well as neck pain. Its difficult to say as I know anxiety can cause some of these things too, and my bulged discs!</p></div>", "date": "11-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/not-sure-if-fibromyalgia-or-anxiety-please-help/td-p/368751" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/14432", "content": "<p>Hello I really need to talk to someone </p>\n\n<p>During my first marriage I was subjected to the worst kind of cruelty from not only my husband but also from his mother who encouraged him to beat me up sometimes very badly.</p>\n\n<p>I was beaten up because my firstborn was a female,  not a male like that family wanted,  like it was my fault </p>\n\n<p>My ex mother in law labeled me unfit as a mother while she beat her sons.</p>\n\n<p>She told me I deserved to be beaten up, and to stop complaining </p>\n\n<p>She is dead now and so is my first husband but that hasn't stopped the memories of that awful time </p>\n\n<p>4 years I will never get back </p>\n\n<p>How do I ever forget that time 40 years ago , I need to move on and I have a wonderful man now in my life but not even he knows the hell I'm going through </p>\n\n<p>I may have to go into hospital again,  I have a wonderful psychiatrist but I haven't really opened up to him as I couldn't put it into words the torture going on in my head </p>\n\n<p>Please can someone advise me ? </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-causing-anxiety/td-p/576269" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "<p>Hi Amanda_1956,</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Thank you so much for sharing here today. We’re so sorry to hear you’re going through it right now.  It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot, and we can imagine how hard that would be to deal with. You have been through some extremely distressing times and we are glad that you are here with us now in this safe space.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>You can talk to Blue Knot about this on 1300 657 380, every day between 9am-5pm (AEST). Their counsellors work with people who have experienced complex trauma.</p>\n<p>They also have some resources on their website which could be useful to visit, particularly the pages on <a href=\"https://www.blueknot.org.au/For-Survivors/Survivor-self-care\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Survivors Self Care</a>.  </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>You can also talk to the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors about this at any time on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat.   </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Kind regards,  </p>\n<p>Sophie M </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-causing-anxiety/td-p/576269" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hi Amanda,</p><p>I am really sorry to hear that you have had to go through so much trauma<span>, I cannot imagine how painful that must have been and how much of an impact it continues to have on you. I hope that you have been able to recognize that the way you were treated was completely unjustified and that you were never at fault. </span></p><p><span>It sounds like you have some wonderful people by your side which is so important. </span></p><p><span>The Blue Knot Foundation has some great resources (<a href=\"https://blueknot.org.au/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://blueknot.org.au/)</a> that you may wish to look through if you haven't already. As mentioned above, they also have a helpline. </span></p><p><span><span>It is understandable that finding the words to describe what you have experienced feels difficult. </span>Do you feel that it may be an option to put something in writing for your psychiatrist about what has happened? Sometimes it can feel easier to put the words onto paper/ type them out in your own space rather than talking about it to someone face-to-face. </span></p><p><span>Please do not hesitate to reply, we are here to listen.</span></p><p><span>Be kind to yourself and take care.  </span></p><p> </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-causing-anxiety/td-p/576269" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Amanda</p><p>Your courage to write here is so appreciated. People reading who have had similar abuse &amp; violence perpetrated against them will see they are not alone, as you, yourself , are not alone.</p><p>Our minds don't understand that it was so long ago, so our memories thoughts &amp; feelings are here &amp; now. It can feel literally crushing.</p><p>When I first began to deal with my own past, I didn't have words for what I was feeling. It took me a long time to trust the good psychiatrist I'd found.</p><p>He gave me the space to find my own way. He allowed me to show him things I'd written &amp; pictures I'd painted. That helped me to begin to talk.</p><p>Then he left for another state.</p><p>It was years later when I found another psychiatrist I could have a similar space with. He respects my experiences &amp; how I tell what's on my mind in my own words. He's helped me understand feelings &amp; that I can live with them, that I am a worthy &amp; deserving of any care I can give to myself. </p><p>I'm so sad &amp; sorry for the pain &amp; misery those people caused you, &amp; I fear, your daughter, too. No child deservers such awful rejection from anyone.</p><p>You might not ever forget those 4 years. Those years can make you stronger, when you understand, nothing you did is an acceptable reason for what they did &amp; you are not to blame for your child being a girl. You brought a beautiful baby into the world. There is nothing wrong with that.</p><p>I think, now you've begun talking here, you will find it gets easier to talk with your psychiatrist. Try some writing, drawing or painting, or some other way to express your feelings &amp; thoughts. Could be music or dance. Some people get stuck into weeding their garden to release some anger or frustration. Some clean the home from top to bottom, &amp; find that helps too.</p><p>You can begin with talking about what you'd like to do ???</p><p>&amp; you are certainly welcome to talk here.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/past-issues-causing-anxiety/td-p/576269" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>I have finally decided to leave my job because there is too much pressure to do more, go faster, be perfect etc and I just can't handle it anymore. </p><p> </p><p>I am the only employee and work closely with my boss.</p><p> </p><p>I had planned to stay until the end of the year (as we haven't started booking for 2024 yet), so there would be no argument from my boss about having too much work for her to handle alone. </p><p> </p><p>However, she is already pressuring me about doing extra days and covering for her holiday in April 2024 (which isn't even finalised yet), so I need to tell her I'm leaving ASAP. So that she only books what she can handle for 2024. </p><p> </p><p><span>My boss is the reason I want to leave (one eg. she blames me for everything - even customers turning up late). I don't want to burn bridges though because she is close friends with my ex-boss who I don't want to think badly of me. </span></p><p> </p><p>So what am I supposed to tell her when she asked why I'm leaving?</p><p>I'm not good with confrontation so I'd like to avoid lying but I can't tell her she's the problem.</p><p> </p><p>Also, when would be best to tell her? At the start or end of the week? </p><p> </p><p>Thanks in advance for any advice.</p><p>Please wish me luck... I really don't want to have 'the talk' about quitting but I know I have to leave...</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p><span>Hello,</span></p><p><span>I am sorry to hear that this is causing you so much stress, it sounds like your boss and her treatment of you are unfair and having a really negative impact on you. It is especially difficult when you are the only one, with no other employees as a buffer. </span></p><p><span>Your wellbeing is the most important thing. From what you've described, it sounds like if you continue on the same trajectory into next year, you will only feel worse - try to keep this front of mind in terms of how important this is for you. In saying this, I can only imagine how stuck you feel given the way your boss treats you and her potential response to your leaving. In terms of burning bridges or your ex-boss thinking badly of you, I think that if you give your boss plenty of notice (<em>minimum </em>2-3 weeks) then that is reasonable. Whether your boss twists your words or says other things to this ex-boss is unfortunately out of your control, but I think you have recognised how important leaving this job is regardless. </span></p><p><span>You do not have to explain the <em>true </em>reason why you are leaving. If you feel comfortable with doing so, you could give her an alternative reason like 'an opportunity has come up elsewhere that you want to look into/ pursue', 'need to spend time with a sick family member', 'I've really enjoyed the experience of working here but I feel like I am ready to move on' (whether that is to a different area, somewhere with a bigger team, working different days)... you may have to fudge it a little bit. This may sound strange but it may be helpful to do a bit of role play with a friend or family member of what you might say and you can practice being assertive with them. </span></p><p><span>Be prepared that your boss may try to 'guilt' you into staying - it is important that you are prepared in what you want to say and that you stand your ground. </span></p><p><span>I don't think there is a best day of the week but maybe do it towards the end of the day (if that is feasible with the nature of the work). I think the important part is to do it sooner rather than later. Acknowledge it will probably feel quite uncomfortable, but remind yourself of why leaving this job is what you need to do. </span></p><p><span>Please do not hesitate to reply, I am here to listen if you need.</span></p><p><span>Take care. </span></p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Aussie.Girl</p><p> </p><p>I feel for you so much as you face so many stressors on top of trying to figure out how to resign. Personally, I found a lot of fear in resigning from my job last year and, when breaking it all down, managed to identify all the fears while addressing each one</p><ul><li>The fear of not resigning well. I covered this one largely by carefully crafting everything I wanted to say into my resignation letter. I must have read and reread that letter 20 times before I handed it over. That letter spoke <em>for</em> me as my boss read it in front of me</li><li>The fear of walking up to the boss with a good opening line, while preparing to hand the letter over. I found asking if my boss had a free moment, while she was in her office on her own, was a good start. The second I pulled the envelope out, she pretty much knew what I was about to say. Not too many things come in an envelope from an employee (from out of the blue) beyond a resignation letter.</li><li>Fear of picking the wrong time to leave (aka the last day of work). I knew my workplace would find it a struggle to replace staff, so I gave them a couple of months or so in which to fill my role. Putting the end date in writing makes it an official date. Whether it's a date you have to look forward to (with an exciting countdown) or a date that you're open to negotiation with, as time comes closer, is up to you</li><li>Fear of the boss's reaction. Basically, we can't manage the way someone else's going to react. All we can really do is prepare them best we can for what we know they'll most likely <em>feel</em> as stress</li><li>And here is the ultimate fear a lot of people have...facing the build up to the moment where you do it. My gosh, I think I was just about hyperventilating in the lead up but, basically, it has to be done. I even researched 'How to resign'. One of the best tips was 'Don't do it on a Friday. If you like your boss, you'll possibly ruin their weekend'</li></ul><p>The job of manager is a tough role, which is why they get paid more than we do. Part of that management involves managing resignations and managing the challenge of employing new staff. While management where I worked were generally great, one thing they refused to manage was the staff shortage. No matter how many times they were told by staff that the job was just too stressful without an extra staff member to take the load off, they weren't prepared to pay for an extra staff member. Short staffing can end up costing <em>us</em> in so many ways. We shouldn't be paying the price with our nervous system and mental health.</p><p> </p><p>Wishing you all the best with your resignation plans.<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Aussie girl</p><p> </p><p><br>Sorry your having a hard time at work it’s good you have decided to leave for your own personal wellbeing, as others have mentioned giving 2 weeks notice ( depending on your time in the role ) quitting is always hard you don’t necessarily have to tell your boss why if she asks just say it’s personal reasons, you can put it in writing to ease the pressure on you to have this discussion , I personally have quit mid week , early in the week I think what matters is your wellbeing try to focus on that . But maybe If your really anxious give her your letter first thing Monday , </p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" }, { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>Thank you all for your replies. I think I really needed some people to assure me I was making the right choice so that I'd have the guts to go through with it.  </p><p> </p><p>I handed in my notice, and it actually went reasonably well - so that was good &amp; I already feel much less stressed. </p><p> </p><p>If anyone reading this is in a similar situation, I ended up using sunnyl20's suggestion of a white lie (that I wanted to change jobs/industries to one that suited me better) and my boss accepted this with no arguments. </p><p> </p><p>Thanks again to everyone who replied. </p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>It is no worries at all, I am glad it went okay. I hope you can feel some relief now that it is over and I hope that the next few months are less stressful for you. </p><p>Take care. </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-please-how-to-quit-job-without-burning-bridges/td-p/575992" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>I live in a community housing where there are 20 people on my floor with 2 washing machines and 2 dryers.</p><p> </p><p>I do my washing on a sunday if I can last out that long.</p><p> </p><p>I am forever thinking what if I go to do my washing at the equipment is being used.</p><p> </p><p>I know this is no big deal but its truly ruining my life its all i think about.</p><p> </p><p>Please give me some advice</p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/washing-day-causing-great-stress/td-p/576048" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>Yes, I think I have the answer.  We caravan a lot. A year ago we bought a 3kg Camec washing machine. It's light, compact and doesnt most items. It was lower than $100.</p><p> </p><p>There are twin tubs and larger ones available. Importantly they are easy to lift with lifting handles and compact. So google the above model and go from there. If you have the room I'd recommend the twin tub.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/washing-day-causing-great-stress/td-p/576048" }, { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Firstly, if it matters to you and is causing you stress then it's worth trying to fix it no matter how small or harmless might seem to others.</p><p> </p><p>If I understand correctly - you're concerned that the machines will be in use when you need them and you won't be able to get your washing done?</p><p> </p><p>If this is the case, purchasing your own machine could be helpful? </p><p>If that's not possible for you then would it be feasible to try and create a schedule with the others in your building? </p><p> </p><p>Otherwise, you could try to visit the laundry area to assess how busy it is at different times and on different days and then use that information to try and organise your washing to be done outside peak periods.</p><p> </p><p>When you find yourself thinking about your washing (when it not relevant) you can try listening to music and engaging in a task which occupies you hands/body to force yourself to focus on something else. </p><p> </p><p>I apologise if these suggestions are not helpful for you. I hope you find a way to manage this problem and that you feel better soon. </p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/washing-day-causing-great-stress/td-p/576048" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>There are those times in life where we can't see the candle or the light out of our dark path.</p><p> </p><p>We are always guided and protected by the circle of love and the beautiful relationships we have with our family and with those we love and adore you must always and forever hold your family close and stand unified as one body and one mind.</p><p> </p><p>There love is always there to light my path in the darkness so you can find hope and the light where it shines bright like a beacon bringing the ships back to shore in the turbulent turmultious ocean to a peaceful and calm where there is serenity and peace for all who seek it.</p><p> </p><p>Jion us on this journey love and compassionate connection. We need to walk together on this beautiful journey towards the sunlight on our boat to a peaceful and more prosperous future.</p><p> </p><p>I was at my mum's birthday and said would you like to give a speech I thought about it long and hard then I decided to go in the other derection and I decided to dance and show my skills as a performer and I enjoyed my self listening to the music and laughing and dancing with my wonderful and beautiful family.</p><p> </p><p>There is times when you have fear but you must have faith that all will come right.</p><p> </p><p>I thought I would walk around my community and have beautiful conversations with everyone and talk to them about there lives and there day always look outside yourself and look at how you can support and show love to other's and the most vunerable in the community and society.</p><p> </p><p>It's you that can make a difference to your community and society</p><p> </p><p>The power exists within us to step outside ourselves and make a difference to those we love in our society and our community.</p><p> </p><p>The power to unify the community is in your hands and remember you have a choice to make an endeminable difference to others the power is in your hands.</p><p> </p><p>Leadership is not inherited it is earned through hard work, persiverance and discipline .</p><p> </p><p>Remember to treasure and love your family and always be appreciative and ther love and guidance.</p><p> </p><p>Show love and share a meal with your family and be the change maker not the destroyer</p><p> </p><p>That is how you make a true difference to those you love and care for.</p><p> </p><p>Compassionate humanity is always the right pathway and that is the path we need to take to heal and bring peace and harmony to our community.</p><p> </p><p>Remember to hug and embrace your family and love them with all your heart.</p><p> </p><p>The power comes from being together in society with all the love, joy, laughter.</p><p> </p><p>It doesn't matter if you become a comedian because it unifies people us as a society because laughter is the best medicine.</p><p> </p><p>Remember to love your family through the difficult times so you can celebrate the great time.</p><p> </p><p>This is what I did on the weekend</p><p> </p><p>PS I love you and always appreciate those who look after you. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-powerful-and-loving-connection-of-family/td-p/576203" }, { "author": "user-id/49247", "content": "<p>Loved reading this- it comes straight from the heart- thank you for sharing.</p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-powerful-and-loving-connection-of-family/td-p/576203" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49236", "content": "<p>A month ago I got diagnosed anxiety and depression I had a rough 2 weeks once starting meds and then come out of a cloud feeling better.</p><p>I then went back to work and am worse than ever</p><p>shaking hot and cold vomiting </p><p>this is resulting in more anxiety and loss of appetite. I feel week and stiff all over. Tried breathing and stretching but I only feel better for a little and then anxiety come back. Any suggestions would welcome </p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-for-anxiety-spiral/td-p/576128" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Hi Bella87,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. It is not easy navigating the right support and treatment for anxiety and depression. It sounds like you've made an important first step and received a diagnosis and started treatment. Those early weeks of adjustment can be very tricky, and I think people should be told that it takes a bit of time until they take full effect. However, if medication isn't working well or causing other problems, then it is wise to return to your GP/psychiatrist for a review. It is well known that it often takes a bit of trial and error to find an effective medication, so it's important to get in touch with your doctor and let them know what's happening for you.</p><p> </p><p>Don't be discouraged if they want to adjust your treatment, it really can be what's needed.</p><p> </p><p>I would also encourage you to explore any support groups that are in your area. Whether meeting in person or online, these can be very helpful and offer both advice and moral support. I have also rung Lifeline a few times when feeling really distressed and unable to express myself with loved ones. A sympathetic, accepting ear has been a wonderful help.</p><p> </p><p>I am a veteran of anxiety and depression and I still have to reach for my toolkit regularly - yoga, breathing exercises, counselling, support from friends and family, journaling, swimming. Congratulations on building your repertoire of skills and supports, the more you use them, the more effective they will be.</p><p> </p><p>Sending you encouragement and warm thoughts.</p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/advice-for-anxiety-spiral/td-p/576128" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49066", "content": "<p>I started out life with high functioning anxiety and depression, survived that way until I had my first child and post natal depression (6 years ago). These days I feel like I can still present as high functioning to most people, but inside my home and day to day life I am struggling. I lost the high functioning part in my personal life and now people close to me can see the cracks (really just my husband and kids, not that the kids know what they’re seeing).</p><p> </p><p>I get the stuff done that is urgent, like the laundry and groceries, the kids are well cared for, my husband is involved in childcare and chores. But whenever I have a moment with no urgent needs I just end up wasting the time – numbing, scrolling my phone. The list of things that need doing seems never ending, and despite wanting to make progress (like fixing a leaking tap or replacing a light globe) I just can’t seem to find the energy to start. It’s like life is overwhelming and the never ending list of things that need to be repeated every day or week is overwhelming.  I know I need to improve my self care, but no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to make progress, I don’t get as much sleep as I need, I don’t eat well unless it involves feeding the kids too, I’m not as active as I’d like to be. I know I will feel better if I improve these things, yet I don’t. I also don’t have enough fun in life, mostly because I don’t know how to have fun, I don’t really know what my hobbies are.</p><p> </p><p>For the last couple of years I’ve always talked to my psychiatrist and psychologist as though I’m doing okay, yes I have anxiety but a normal level for things that were happening in life, yes I’m tired but I have a baby. To them I would have presented well with good insight. I really did believe I was doing well, but now I’m not so sure. What is a normal level of anxiety or stress? I see my psychiatrist next week, and a new psychologist in 3 weeks, but I’m not even sure how to explain to them what the problem is. I don’t feel like I can articulate it well. It’s like I want to be better but can’t do the things that I need to do to achieve that because I’m working so hard to stay afloat.</p><p> </p><p>Has anyone else had this experience? What helped you?</p></div>", "date": "22-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/life-feels-overwhelming/td-p/575012" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear StartingOutSlow~</p><p>Welcome here to the Forum, a good place to come to see how others have coped and thier ideas.</p><p> </p><p>Firstly I'd have to say that you are coping - not as well as you think you should - but you get the important stuff done, and that's pretty good, seeing you have to battle anxiety and depression and the essentials of being a mum are a pretty big set of tasks to do.</p><p> </p><p>It all takes its toll, not just on physical tiredness, but also on your well-being and motivation. So once the essential is over you do what you call time-wasting.  I'd say it is a simply showing you that you have reached the end of your tether.</p><p> </p><p>I used to do the same, just what I had to then do basically nothing, and I too lost all interest in my everyday pleasures. Frankly I could not get better on my own and eventually had to seek assistance.</p><p> </p><p>Rather than regard it as time-wasting please try to see it as a signal you need to stop and take time for yourself - without guilt. I try to have one short enjoyable thing at the  end of each day, something to look forward to just for me. I use books and movies, pets and talking to someone. You will have other things I'm sure.</p><p> </p><p>When talking to your psychs it sounds as if you have minimized everything and also given rational reasons for the way you feel as you do, giving perhaps a false impression.</p><p> </p><p>Can I suggest you pick out the worst, not the best, and tell them about that. I felt as if I could not explain things, particularly face to face. Do you think if you took a couple of days and wrote down in point for how you have been feeling and doing that might be doable? Taking time lets you think, remember and include everything.</p><p> </p><p>I found handing over a list made things so much easier. I did not forget anything, get confused, or give in to the temptation to minimize or leave things out. The Drs were pleased as they had a list to work from and a much more accurate idea of what they  should be treating.</p><p> </p><p>I hope we can talk some more</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "22-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/life-feels-overwhelming/td-p/575012" }, { "author": "user-id/49066", "content": "<p>Thank you Croix for taking the time to respond, it was really helpful. Print the word minimising to what I was doing is useful, and I can definitely take the time to write a list. I feel a little better with a step to take.</p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/life-feels-overwhelming/td-p/575012" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear StartingOutSlow~</p><p>I'm very pleased it was of some help and would like ot know how you get on -i f you feel like talkng of course</p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "24-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/life-feels-overwhelming/td-p/575012" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Hi SOS and Croix,</p><p> </p><p>I identify with what you've both said. I too have been someone who has 'managed' life with anxiety for a long time before different life stressors made this impossible. I also think part of my struggle with the experience has been not accepting that my mind/body is more sensitive to stress and conflict. Trying to override my nature and deny my need for less stress, more downtime, counselling etc in order to be well and manage in life has not been useful or kind to myself.</p><p> </p><p>Today is offering up another opportunity for me to recognise my sensitivities (I'm very tired due to a recent run of bad nights) and care for myself instead of deny or berate myself. Half the challenge is negotiating social expectations and developing assertiveness skills. So, this has to take some time, and I do think I'm making progress. But patience is definitely key.</p><p> </p><p>So, well done SOS, you have been achieving a significant amount without the support (from professionals) and kindness (towards yourself) that you need. Your new challenge is accepting yourself where you are at and making choices that will help you feel better and manage life.</p><p> </p><p>BTW I also use Croix's approach and get my thoughts clear and on paper before seeing a medical or counselling professional. This is really important as I want them to understand what is happening for me so that I can get their best advice/support. It's great that your husband is really involved in family life. A definite bonus.</p><p> </p><p>Sending you encouragement and validation!</p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/life-feels-overwhelming/td-p/575012" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>I know how pathetic this sounds and there is so much more in the world to worry about but I can't get over this issue.</p>\n<p>I have a 65\" smart tv which is now out of warranty</p>\n<p>Every now and then it goes blank for a few seconds.</p>\n<p>This is causing such stress and anxiety for me that I hardly watch my tv anymore. I know this sounds so childish and I need to grow up but when it happens I totally fall apart.</p>\n<p>I wish this did not affect me the way it does. What do I do I can't call for help as it only happens about every 2 weeks.</p>\n<p>Please don't put me down but any advice on what I should do would be so appreciated it. Should I try to live without a tv perhaps?</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/33966", "content": "<p>Hi ozziebear,</p>\n<p>Hope you are getting on okay. Hope your appointments with the psychiatrist go well and this person is able to help you.</p>\n<p>It doesn't matter what causes us anxiety or stress, there can be millions of reasons we experience these things. It can be so very different for everyone of us.</p>\n<p>I panic in crowds of people and don't like loud noises, so concerts are places I don't go. When it is a T.V. that sets us off, something that can bring us so much pleasure, it will be beneficial to work on sorting out the issue.</p>\n<p>I have anxiety and stress at times with modern technology! I panic at an ATM in case it doesn't work properly! I don't like using cards at cash registers. Modern T.V.s with all the options and remote controls can do my head in as does trying to work out programs on a computer.</p>\n<p>Through effort I am learning to deal with these things. Wishing you well in overcoming your situation!</p>\n<p>Cheers to you from Dools</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>Can you believe it's 5 years later and i still get so much anxiety watching the tv, its like i have a panic attack during the time that the whole program is on, perhaps i am best to buy another tv and be done with it</p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>I know how pathetic this sounds and there is so much more in the world to worry about but I can't get over this issue.</p>\n<p>I have a 65\" smart tv which is now out of warranty</p>\n<p>Every now and then it goes blank for a few seconds.</p>\n<p>This is causing such stress and anxiety for me that I hardly watch my tv anymore. I know this sounds so childish and I need to grow up but when it happens I totally fall apart.</p>\n<p>I wish this did not affect me the way it does. What do I do I can't call for help as it only happens about every 2 weeks.</p>\n<p>Please don't put me down but any advice on what I should do would be so appreciated it. Should I try to live without a tv perhaps?</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/7928", "content": "Hello ozziebear, I know you said it is out of warranty, but why not look into getting it fixed if it is upsetting you? Or perhaps look at getting a new tv?</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "hi jess, the tv costs 3,500 and because it happens so infrequent i feel that it won't be fixed, and if I buy another one my mind says what if it is just a foxtel issue, i am doing my head in over this</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/7928", "content": "Well it sounds like you have a few process of elimination things you can try. If it is a Foxtel issue then other people will be experiencing it. If you have another tv in the house, then you can see if it is happening there, or check on the internet to see if other people are experiencing it. You could try and work out if there are other reasons why it is happening, such as your cables or similar. You could take it in somewhere to get looked at. Or you could try and think about why this bothers you so much to try and get to the bottom of it. I guess the main point I am trying to make is, you seem to be feeling powerless over this issue when you actually have quite a few options you can try. What have you tried to do already?</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "Ultimately I just want to accept that it is happening. I feel stupid if I go and buy a new tv and the same thing happens. I also feel stupid that a 2 second blimp bothers me so much. I hardly watch the tv anymore because I am in such a panic over it happening, but as I said I just want to accept it, it really is no big deal but my mind over catastrophises everything</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "my mind is over catastrophising this issue. I feel that if I was to become homeless at least I wouldn't have this issue, thats just crazy isnt it, thats what my mind says to me <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span></div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/7928", "content": "It does seem to be stressing you a great deal. Is this the only thing that makes you feel this way? Have you gotten similarly anxious about other types of things in the past?</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "yes i suffer bad anxiety and worry over everything unfortunately</div>", "date": "05-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/33966", "content": "<p>Hi ozziebear,</p>\n<p>Welcome to the community here. I have just come across your thread. If you don't mind me asking, have you spoken to anyone about your anxiety? Have you seen a Dr at all or read an information on anxiety to learn how you can help yourself with how you are feeling?</p>\n<p>Regarding the T.V. when you are not feeling so anxious about it, could you phone the place where you bought the T.V. and explain the issue you are having. A technician there may have some answers for you.</p>\n<p>Maybe you could try to desensitise yourself to the issue with the T.V. Watch it, and when the issue happens, tell yourself it is just an issue with the T.V. It is something that is currently out of your control. Try and make peace with the situation, accept it if you can.</p>\n<p>Reacting to situations can make the so much worse. Anxiety can be helped. I'd like to encourage you to look at that.</p>\n<p>All the best from Dools</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "08-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>Thanks so much Dools</p>\n<p>Great advice.</p>\n<p>Yes I see a psychiatrist who wants me to watch the tv and write down the amount of times I have it on and if the situation occurs.</p>\n<p>I love your desensitise advice, am going to do that</p>\n<p>Thanks again</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2018", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/this-sounds-ridiculous-but-it-is-creating-great-anxiety-for-me/td-p/425237" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p> I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup. </p>\n<p>Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me. </p>\n<p>I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen. </p>\n<p>My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away. </p>\n<p>I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times. </p>\n<p>Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett</p>\n<p>I </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Brett</p><p> </p><p>I think grief or loss is comprised of a whole collection of mixed emotions, some definitely not so obvious. Grieving the loss of a really <em>positive</em> trigger, such as the football, is completely understandable. I think this is why some people feel the need for both winter <em>and</em> summer sports, so they've got some form of a high all year 'round. There's always something to look forward to, as opposed to trying to manage a break where there can be some sense of emptiness. Perhaps the challenge involves adopting a spring/summer time interest. Perhaps some limbering up of the imagination, some stretching and exercising. Yep, easier said than done in some cases. A blank screen in the imagination can be tough to get past. I tend to look for seers when I'm failing to see what I need to. They're handy people to have in life at times.</p><p> </p><p>We definitely need good guides in so many areas of life. I'm hoping the person who takes you through the induction at the hospital is a <em>brilliant</em> guide. I hope they're someone who puts you at ease, someone who leads you to feel the opportunity as one you're excited to have and I hope they're someone who can recall what it's like to be the new kid on the block. I love people like that, people who remember the challenges that come with being new to the scene. I've worked with beautiful people who remember like it was yesterday, even when they've been in the job for over 10 years, and I've worked with intolerant people who have no sense of recall <em>at all</em>. Can definitely feel who's who, that's for sure.</p><p> </p><p>I think some people find tough challenges relatively easy to manage and some find tough challenges tough, which is why they're called tough challenges. No matter which person we are under the circumstances of tough challenges, we gotta be able to say 'I'm stepping up to one and there are elements of courage in that and that <em>officially</em> makes me courageous, no matter what anyone says'.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/39170", "content": "<p>What are you most passionate about? </p><p>If money and anxiety wasn't an issue.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Hi Jay and thanks.</p><p>I probably have a passion to see people do well. Also to see people bounce back from tough times. </p><p>Im passionate about respect and manners and just being nice to people.</p><p> </p><p>Brett.</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/39170", "content": "<p>That's good to hear mate, how do you feel about wanting all that for yourself as well as others?</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Hi Jay.</p><p>Yeh i guess i do hope for that for myself. I suppose its not too much to ask. </p><p>Brett</p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/12" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p> I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup. </p>\n<p>Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me. </p>\n<p>I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen. </p>\n<p>My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away. </p>\n<p>I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times. </p>\n<p>Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett</p>\n<p>I </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Last night was just so tough. Found myself distraught from 1am .Found myself needing to talk and tried to contact friends in the early hours . I hope they understand and arent upset. Ive been a good friend to so many and i just needed to reach out. Brett.</div>", "date": "08-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Im really battling and feel like im losing myself.I seen a GP yesterday and he was less than helpful and even seemed frustrated with me. My regular GP is unavailable. I dont know where to turn and the medication im on seems of no use. I was supposed to go back to work today but im not up to it. Ihave no family and feel a little bit let down by some friends at the moment . Ive always tried to be there for them and i need them now but im so alone. I know i have to help myself but i have no energy . I just want peace and to be happy. I called a helpline last night and virtually got cut off i dont know why . I hate my illness Depression/Anxiety but its not my fault. Its ruined my life. I wish every one a Happy Day. Any feedback would be really appreciated. Brett.</div>", "date": "09-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Thank you Sophie. I was a bit upset when i rang lifeline this morning as i was basically cut off. I just dont understand this . It was if was doing something wrong by sounding as distressed as i was. I have rang a lot lately admittedly . But surely im doing nothing wrong. Brett</div>", "date": "09-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Hi Brett.</p>\n<p>call the help lines as often as you need to. We can often blame ourselves for things that happen, but I’m sure it wasnt disconnected on purpose. Could have been a problem with the telco?!?</p>\n<p>i know that some GPs are not as good as we expect them to be. I’ve had a couple like that, but then you may come across a GP that has way more empathy and is far more helpful than any previous.</p>\n<p>we cant change our past, and we cant predict the future, all we can do is make decisions for the present moment. </p>\n<p>if you are tired, tuck yourself into bed and try to get some sleep. </p>\n<p>i heard once that the word depressed is much like deep-rest. And that is what your mind and body need, a deep rest. You have used an enormous amount of energy with the thoughts and feelings that brought you here, so you need time to rest.</p>\n<p>Try to do little things to get some wins. It is easier said than done, but maybe even try something different. Maybe get a small piece of wood, and some coarse sand paper and sand until you have a duck. Concentrate on the duck, if anything comes into you thoughts just let it come and then go, and return to the duck.</p>\n<p>Challenge yourself to see how much you can do before taking a break.</p>\n<p>it doesnt have to be a duck, could be any shape, a car, a beetle.</p>\n<p>there is hope, its just that your bucket is full.</p>\n<p>if you can visualise a bucket over your head. Everything we hold on to or dont deal with fills up the bucket. If we keep doing this the bucket will eventually overflow and we get wet. We need to find ways to scoop the water out regularly to stop it from overflowing.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>i hope your day becomes brighter. Take care of yourself little by little.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Not Batman</p></div>", "date": "09-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Thank You Not Batman. I appreciate your reply and suggestions. Great advice. I got out last night and did some volunteer work behind the bar at my footy club. My safe place. Really helps me . Brett.</div>", "date": "10-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Well done Brett. Do you have anything planned for the weekend?</p>\n<p>we don't have to have anything planned, just take it as it comes,</p></div>", "date": "10-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Hi Not Batman.</p>\n<p>Yes i will be helping at my football club today, probably pretty busy from midday onwards. We have a slide set up for the MND charity today to raise some money for it . Ill be working/volunteering behind the bar for a fair bit.. Its good i get to interact with people and not too much small talk. What is on for you? Brett.</p></div>", "date": "11-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Hi Brett.</p>\n<p>it is good to interact with others. And good on you for volunteering. I hope the interaction isnt too much for you.</p>\n<p>just do what you can, and if it becomes too much, take a break.</p>\n<p>Today i’m seeing my nephew for his birthday. On lamb watch all weekend, and maybe fix up some slack fences around.</p>\n<p>Have an awesome day.</p>\n<p>Not Batman</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "11-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Thanks Not A Batman. </p>\n<p>Unfortunately i found the day at my footy club a bit much. Stuck working behind the bar for 7 hrs and never seen a kick. Sadly felt a bit disillusioned with the place that was once my happy and safe place. Im going to have to back off i think. Feeling a bit flat about it all. I have opened up to some trusted people im dont think i have to say im good when im having bad days.... </p>\n<p>Thanks for getting back to me .. I hope those foxes are keeping away from the lambs. Im a bit of a country lad and i know the devastation they can cause. Thanks again Brett.</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Hi brett.</p>\n<p>Im sorry to hear it turned out the way it did. 7 hours sounds like a stretch for anyone, so it's important to remember to take a break. A couple of options may be to Close the bar or organise for a second hand. The positive to take away is that you gave it a go. </p>\n<p>Unfortunately sometimes even the smallest or most familiar things can overwhelm us. i remember having a panic attach because i couldnt get the vacuum cleaner to work.</p>\n<p>Just remember that its ok to not be ok. Reach out to people when you need to.</p>\n<p>Not Batman</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "13-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p> I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup. </p>\n<p>Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me. </p>\n<p>I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen. </p>\n<p>My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away. </p>\n<p>I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times. </p>\n<p>Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett</p>\n<p>I </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Hi and best wishes to everyone.      Im feeling things today i just feel so lonely at times. I spent Saturday at my football club and yesterday i just went to the local Hotel..  Its just that i get some connection when i go there. Im really feeling lonely and i miss my ex girlfriend .  I texted her this morning but theres been no reply.Weve stayed friends and there has been no problems with upsetting each other .   I just so wish i could see her pull up at my place again or go and visit her.  I know people say i should leave it but i really do care about her . I wish i had of been a better partner and maybe i wouldnt be going through this pain.      Beaser</p></div>", "date": "08-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/36900", "content": "<p>Hi Beaser/Brett,</p><p> </p><p>I just read your original post and it felt so much like how I feel lately! Unfortunately I don't have any helpful tips but I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in feeling like this! </p></div>", "date": "09-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Thank you CF.</p><p>I hope your ok and are getting some support .  Id be interested to hear a bit more about how youve been feeling if you felt like talking.        Brett</p></div>", "date": "09-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/36900", "content": "<p>Hey,</p><p>I can't afford a psychologist right now unfortunately, as even with the rebate it is still very expensive but I have a supportive spouse and cats which help. </p><p> </p><p>I feel like my anxiety is suffocating, it consumes my whole life. I get your comment about things feeling grey, it's like living life in a black and white movie while everyone else is in colour. </p><p> </p><p>Mental health has been a life long struggle for me, something that did help a little is I have seen a few people talk about how for some of us there is no cure, but we can manage it. It's so much more stressful when you are told there are \"cures\" and there's that implication you're damaged goods when these \"cures\" don't help or fix it.</p><p> </p><p>Hope you are ok.</p></div>", "date": "09-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Tough times at the moment i start my new job on Monday and im so scared.  I also feel so alone at the moment . I wish i had family . I so miss  girlfriend and wish i could turn the clock back .  Just someone to be there.  I hate this life of depression and anxiety its just taen everything from me.     Beaser.</p></div>", "date": "20-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Dear Beaser,<br>\n <br>\nWe are sorry to hear that you’re currently struggling with the anxiety of starting a new job. Please remember this is a normal part of the process and these overwhelming feelings will resolve as you begin the job and become comfortable in the new role and routine.<br>\n <br>\nUnfortunately, we cannot turn back the clock and change the past, but we do have the ability to shape our future. Although your relationship with your ex-girlfriend is currently over, you never know what may change with time with your ex or a possible new partner.<br>\n <br>\nBut we understand that feeling lonely and isolated can make it feel as though we are struggling through this alone, but the forums community is here for you. Please remember if you feel you need to talk through how you are feeling with a counsellor, please contact Beyond Blue either via phone  <a href=\"tel:1300%2022%204636\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">1300 22 4636</a> or through <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Beyond Blue Online Chat</a>.<br>\n <br>\nWe would also like to recommend a service called <a href=\"https://www.friendline.org.au/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Friend Line</a>, they provide a service of volunteers who are there for a “cuppa and a conversation” as a friendly ear to listen. If you follow the link to their site and select your state, a local contact number and chat link for that state will be provided for contact. Please note they operate Monday to Friday 6pm–8pm AEST.<br>\n <br>\nWarm regards<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "20-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43804", "content": "<p>Hey Beaser<br><br>I reckon a lot of people can relate to how you feel and the cycles you go through - the ups and downs and the overwhelming feeling of anxiety and hopelessness. I'm exactly the same. I've wrestled with anxiety and depression for more than 40 years. So I speak to you not from a high horse, but on the ground standing next to you.</p><p> </p><p>I read through all the posts and your responses. One thing that seems to stand out for me is the way you frame your problem and thinking. Have you thought about whether you display victim thinking? If not, it might be a topic worth exploring. I know it enlightened me and helped me realise that I choose how I feel about every event and situation. I realised stuff doesn't 'happen to me'. Stuff just happens. I choose how to respond and think about it. So, I stopped making excuses for how things turned out and started taking more responsibility for my actions and how I choose to feel/respond to situations. It actually worked. </p><p> </p><p>When I'm struggling and stressed and furious and ruminating like mad - and everything else that goes with depression and anxiety - I remind myself: \"Change what you can; accept what you can't'. This takes enormous pressure off me. I know if I don't make any effort to change something, then I can't expect it to turn out how I want. Only got myself to blame in that instance. And strangely enough, that's empowering.</p><p> </p><p>The other question I ask myself when I think things are the worst is: \"What if the opposite were true?\" That was a real cracker for me. Helped reduce the negative spiral thinking that I usually had 24-7. Kinda stops the unhelpful thinking in its tracks. Try it if you haven't. It's pretty cool.   </p><p> </p><p>You're always going to have good days and bad. That's life with anxiety. I ride the bad days like waves, knowing they'll pass and not to fight them, because trying to control and fight them just tires me out. For you, I say put the past to bed, draw a line in the sand, and start focussing on the things you can change now.  Baby steps dude. Just one at a time. The small wins get bigger with time and so does your capacity to cope. We're all in this together, so keep on sharing. </p></div>", "date": "20-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/22474", "content": "<p>Hey Brett</p><p> </p><p>Congratulations on starting a new job! That's awesome that you're getting back out there. </p><p> </p><p>I've put a few strategies in place for when I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to work. <br>I'll share a few: <br>~ knowing that I'll be coming home at the end of the day, think <em>'one day at a time or one moment at a time'</em><br>~ packing a nice lunch that I'll enjoy eating<br>~ having something to look forward to at the end of the day, even if it's just putting your feet up and coming on to the forums to share your story. </p><p> </p><p>Best wishes <br>EM</p></div>", "date": "20-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Thank you so much everyone for your kind and thoughtful thoughts.   Ive read them thoroughly and appreciate them .  I understand people like you all put time and effort into reading and offering help and sharing experiences. Thank you it all helps.   Brett.</p></div>", "date": "21-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Thanks HopsKotch      I appreciate youve read my posts and replies.    Your right in a lot you say and i will try and change my way off looking at things.  Change what you can accept what you cant.   Its a good way to think.   Thank you always good to talk anytime.    Brett. </p></div>", "date": "21-08-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p> I wish this wasnt the case but things are getting overwhelming for me again . The world just seems a lonely place at the moment. I have friends who i seen on the weekend and i do get relief then. Its when i get back to being by myself that i crash. I have an appt with my psychologist today and had GP appt but he cancelled on me . I have had recent life events that have really made me distraught and lonely the main being a relationship breakup. </p>\n<p>Im also unhappy at work and i feel like everything is so grey for me. </p>\n<p>I have been a life time sufferer of anxiety and depression and being 56 it has tired me out. Im actually quietly proud of how i have managed to keep going and get as far as i have . Im scared about where i will end up from all this as i dont know where to turn . I have tried all my life to be a good person and think i have been .. I have always helped where i could and been a good citizen. </p>\n<p>My family seem to have a history of depression and anxiety but i feel i have copped the worst of it . Ive always been oversensitive and let things affect me. I just want all this anxiety and depression to go away. </p>\n<p>I have turned to these forums recently and its been a help to me . My anxiety and depression just gets so tough at times. </p>\n<p>Where do i turn too in this place i just want to be happy again and want the same for others. Brett</p>\n<p>I </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Dear Beaser,<br>\n<br>\nThank you for finding the strength to post about your confusion in our forums. As you have noted, we are a very supportive community.<br>\n<br>\nWe understand that you have been struggling with depression and anxiety most of your life, and you are now feeling quite worn down by the mental exhaustion.<br>\n<br>\nWe are pleased that you are under the care of mental health professionals. Unfortunately, work exhausts you, and you don't feel like you have anywhere else to turn.<br>\n<br>\nSometimes, when we are feeling down, it can help to see other people. Mens Shed is a good organisation to help.<br>\nhttps://mensshed.org<br>\n<br>\nWe would also like to invite you to call BeyondBlue Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or Lifeline on 13 1114. Both of these services are free, and they are available 24 hours per day, every day of the year.<br>\n<br>\nWe are always here for you.<br>\n<br>\nWarm regards,<br>\n<br>\nSophie M.<br>\n </div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "<p>Thank you Sophie M.</p>\n<p>Managed to get my dogs out and get some exercise so thats a positive.. I appreciate the BB forums as its a place where i can be honest about things. Brett</p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi Brett,</p>\n<p>I am glad you have found the forums to be a supportive and helpful place for yourself.</p>\n<p>KEEP BEING PROUD. Yes, you are doing so well, keep patting yourself on the back for that. Treat yourself and do what makes you happy by simply being here! Awesome work.</p>\n<p>I am sorry to hear about the tough times you are experiencing, but remember to keep shining and try not to let it get you down too much. I am glad you are seeking help too.</p>\n<p>Keep coming here for support if you need, we are here to listen!</p>\n<p>Warm regards,</p>\n<p>jaz xx</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/10039", "content": "<p>Hi Brett, </p>\n<p>good on you for opening up and seeking for help!</p>\n<p>I guess, specially in moments like these where we feel a little \"bleh\" and it feels like nothing excites us anymore, it is even more important to take small steps that add joy to our daily lives. Looking for positive things to do, even if we don't really feel like doing it, can make a big difference. As you mentioned, walking with your dogs was very helpful for you and, maybe, you can add to that getting in touch and starting conversations with other pet owners at the dog park or put your favourite playlist / podcast to listen to while you walk.</p>\n<p>I know it might sound silly, but from experience, what gives us the fulfilment we are after is what we do on a daily basis - we don't need to wait for the weekend or a special event to socialise and feel good. What helped me a lot was to make a very honest list of little things that make me feel happy (eg. a cup of tea while reading a chapter of a book, singing my favourite songs, colouring, having small breaks during the day just to breath and reconnect to myself, going for a walk, sitting by the sun, exercising, therapy...) and started making the time to do those things.</p>\n<p>It can be exhaustive to deal with the mental load and not spending a day without doing something that makes me happy is an easy way that I've found to stop fighting anxiety and bring back that spark and colours to my life!</p>\n<p>As Sophie_M mentioned, we are always here for you and if you feel the need to talk this through, don't hesitate getting in touch with the services Sophie_M recommended.</p>\n<p>Hope you have a wonderful day and let us know how you're going!</p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Hi Brett.</p>\n<p>Thanks for sharing. <br>\neach word you wrote resonated a lot with me. I'm currently going through a similar thing and hope to be able give others support. </p>\n<p>Last week and the week before were tough, due to work, and i guess being oversensitive. I hadnt been sleeping, and everything was compounding.</p>\n<p>i turned to the forums for some solidarity, and received some helpful and compassionate comments. Those were the things to help get me to keep pushing forward. <br>\nfortunately I had 2 big worries at work solved one day last week, and so i had the best sleep that night. Now im in the wake of the episode, dealing with the remnants of the dark time, which is slowly turning grey. Though i am still depressed, just not as anxious.</p>\n<p>I think there is some camaraderie in these forums, helping each other out.</p>\n<p>i hope things become colourful for you soon.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Not_Batman</p></div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Thanks Not Batman. For your kind and understanding reply. You mention of being oversensitive . This has always been my thing too. And yes everything does compound and things build up. I spoke to my psychologist this afternoon. He gave me some good advice about things like work not being permanent if it all gets too bad. But i guess easier if we didnt have bills and mortgages etc. I am sorry to hear that your still depressed and hope things turn for you. It seems you are making progress and im Happy for that. Brett</div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Thank you everyone for your kind and helpful replies. Its a help and comfort that people can share there experiences and offer some advice. I really value it. Brett</div>", "date": "06-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/34059", "content": "Hi and thanks again jaz. I spoke to my phycologist yesterday . We have a really good relationship and he helps. He explained that nothing has to be permanent and i can always make changes . Maybe sometimes easier said than done i know . I have a friend dropping in today to give me some tips on using my carpet cleaner LOL. At least some come contact for the day and maybe some motivation. Wishing you a Happy DAY. BRETT.</div>", "date": "07-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" }, { "author": "user-id/1857", "content": "<p>Hey sorry made a mistake, meant to say out some good karma out into the world. And practice your self talk, it’s never to late to turn it around. I’m here for you and to help answer anything. I know how difficult it seems, and sometimes we don’t believe things will change, and sometimes we’ve been this way from a very young age. And that’s why it’s difficult. Because pain is all we know. We have to put in new information new ways of life. And importantly we have to change our attitude, </p></div>", "date": "07-06-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-overwhelmed-and-need-to-talk/td-p/24508" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49215", "content": "<p>After talking to my psychiatrist about my thoughts and how I'm finding it hard to handle the side effects of my medication, she told me to try getting a psychologist. </p><p> </p><p>But I'm not being paid by centerlink and don't know if i ever will unless I work, which I can't because I'm struggling with severe depression and anxiety. So I can't afford to get a psychologist and I'm afraid I'll never get better. </p><p> </p><p>What if I can't cope or do this on my own? What if my anxiety and depression keep coming back? What if I do things wrong? What if I'll never get over my fears and my trauma? </p><p> </p><p>What if I go crazy? </p><p> </p><p>I really feel like I need a professional to talk to.</p><p> </p><p>I can't stop stressing when things like this happen. I'm just constantly overthinking.</p><p> </p><p>I can't believe in myself to get through this. I feel like I need someone to tell me what to do and how to think. </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-t-get-a-psychologist-and-i-m-scared/td-p/575914" }, { "author": "user-id/49194", "content": "<p>Hi Owlingo,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing, please remember that things will get better.</p><p> </p><p>I assure you that there is a solution to this and you will be able to access support with the desired criteria that you have listed. Seeing a mental health professional can do wonders and can allow you to easily navigate around the emotions that your mind is experiencing. I would definitely recommend contacting Headspace to see a mental health clinician at either a very low cost or no cost at all. Using the link below, you can book an appointment at your nearest Headspace centre:</p><p> </p><p><a title=\"Headspace\" href=\"https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/headspace-can-help/\" target=\"_self\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://headspace.org.au/explore-topics/for-young-people/headspace-can-help/</a> </p><p> </p><p>In addition, these are some mental wellbeing resources which can also assist you in overcoming the feelings that you are experiencing via the link below:</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://www.service.nsw.gov.au/services/health-and-care/mental-wellbeing-resources\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.service.nsw.gov.au/services/health-and-care/mental-wellbeing-resources</a></p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps!</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Sarea.</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-t-get-a-psychologist-and-i-m-scared/td-p/575914" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>About 6 months ago I had bed bugs so i paid an exterminator to come and get rid of them.</p><p> </p><p>still to this day i am forever pulling my bed apart to see if they have returned, which they have not.</p><p> </p><p>Is this anxiety doing this and should I discuss it with my psychiatrist, I am obsessed.</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-anxiety/td-p/576004" }, { "author": "user-id/49194", "content": "<p>Hi Ozziebear,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing, you always have the support of our community!</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry that you had to go through this and would definitely recommend speaking to a professional about this. More often than not, we overlook certain situations and do not completely comprehend how they affect our mind. It would be highly beneficial to speak to a mental health professional about your emotions and coping strategies that can be implemented.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps!</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Sarea.</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-anxiety/td-p/576004" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>Thanks Sarea</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-anxiety/td-p/576004" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Ozziebear~</p><p>Welcome back, it's good to hear from you, even though circumstances are not great.</p><p> </p><p>Checking a few times ot see if the pest controller had been effective would seem a reasonable thing to do, but after that to keep on constantly checking reminds me of the time you felt you had to read a chapter in a book each time.</p><p> </p><p>I would think this is exactly the sort of thing you should discuss with your psychiatrist, after all to be bound to act in a certain way all the time does not make for a pleasant life, and I'd wonder if it might make you doubt yourself too.</p><p> </p><p>Incidentally how do you go about the reading? Did you get some help at that time?</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-anxiety/td-p/576004" }, { "author": "user-id/10225", "content": "<p>Hi Croix</p><p> </p><p>Havent been here for quite some time, I dont even remember the thing about the book lol</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-anxiety/td-p/576004" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/37154", "content": "<p>Hey all</p><p>I'm Riss</p><p>I have Anxiety and depression.  And am about to go into hospital to get my medication changed its a privet hospital  and I don't know what to expect. I also have to leave my 2 and 4 year old at home with there dad whitch I'm sad about. There is also the fear of never feeling good again. Please any advice will be great </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/medication/td-p/575991" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hi Riss,</p><p>Thank you for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that things are difficult at the moment. It can be challenging to seek help, so it is great that you have been able to get some support. In terms of the hospital admission, it can be a bit different for everyone in terms of experiences and expectations, especially regarding the types of drugs and the condition(s) that they are living with. It may be helpful to remember that hospital is the best place to try to make changes as this is where you will be monitored closely, the staff know what to look out for, and you will hopefully be able to get psychological support too. I do not have children of my own so can only imagine how difficult it must be to think about being away from them. Is it possible for them to visit at all? If not, it may be helpful to schedule some FaceTimes each day and to take some photos for your room or space so that you can have them around. </p><p>I would definitely recommend having a few things for you to have as distractions or that help ground you - whether that is music on your phone, a book, magazines, drawing or whatever feels right for you. That fear of never feeling good again is something I can relate to a lot. It can be hard to find hope or have hope sometimes. It might be best to try to take it day by day. It can be a really slow and difficult process of finding your way back and finding what works for you, but how you feel now doesn't mean it will always be like this. If you are able, maybe try to write down a couple of things that you really value, that may be motivating you to get the help that you need to recover.</p><p>I'm sorry if this was not the answer you were looking for, but I hope that you know you are not alone in your struggles. Please do not hesitate to reach out on these forums whenever you need to. </p><p>Take care Riss. </p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/medication/td-p/575991" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/3230", "content": "<ol><li>So last year my father told me to help him send a file on his phone and when I had his phone I saw this app which had a bright red love heart on it. The app looks suspicious. But other than seeing the app, he hasn't displayed any other suspicious behavior that he's cheating. He has cheated in the past so that's why I'm making assumptions on him at the moment. I tried letting this go but it's still in the back of my mind. Any suggestions of what I should do?</li></ol><p>Thank you!</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/should-i-question-my-father-if-he-s-cheating-again/td-p/575905" }, { "author": "user-id/49194", "content": "<p>Hi RedPanda,</p><p> </p><p>I hope you are well. Thank you for sharing!</p><p> </p><p>Regarding the app, I would ask general questions without letting any suspicion translate into the conversation because you would want to give your father the benefit of the doubt. If the app that he is using confirms your suspicion, then I would recommend having an honest conversation as respectfully as possible. Communication is usually the best way to address such situations.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps!</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Sarea.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/should-i-question-my-father-if-he-s-cheating-again/td-p/575905" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Redpanda13~</p><p>I'm afraid you are stuck with the same suspicious circumstances and and the same quandary as to what to do as has happened a couple of years ago and again last year. If you want to see what I said then go here:</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/i-think-my-dad-has-been-cheating-for-a-long-time-in-the-past/m-p/17954/highlight/true#M3080\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/i-think-my-dad-has-been-cheating-...</a></p><p> </p><p>May I ask what you did then and how it has turned out? Is your mum still around and if so does she get on well with your dad?</p><p> </p><p>You did mention that you had an anxiety condition, I have one too and tend to build up scenarios beyond what they deserve, however I have my partner to talk a more even perspective to me and that helps a great deal.</p><p> </p><p>Do you have anyone you can talk to frankly about this? I'm not saying if you should confront him or not, however talking with someone that cares about you might help you make up your mind both as to if he is in fact cheating, and what is likely to happen to all in your family if you do confront him.</p><p> </p><p>The only other things is do you think your dad loves you?</p><p> </p><p>Please come back whenever you like to say how things are going, you are always welcome</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/should-i-question-my-father-if-he-s-cheating-again/td-p/575905" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>There are many times as a nation we face great adversity but we as a nation must rise to the challenge and never let our difficulties defeat us. There have been times in history when our nations resolve has been test and I feel this is one of those times . The decision for the voice was a going to be a great pivot in our society opening the opportunity for better outcomes in the future for Australia.</p><p> </p><p>I want to take you back into history where similar more profound decisions where made.</p><p> </p><p>There have been great leaders in history like abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King who also stood on the presopose of there powerful ever canging decision in history.</p><p> </p><p>Do we as a society take a step back and let others make the decision for us or do we make the powerful decision ourselves.</p><p> </p><p>When history looks back at the vioce decision do you think we have made the right choice. We always need to stand behind our people and always lend a hand and give strength. There are many turning points in history where we go down one path or another I feel this is one of those times.</p><p> </p><p>You must stand with our aboriganal brothers and sisters and give them the strength to stand and keep walking on the path of justice and rightousness. I feel that everyone has a right to the decisions they make but I feel this decision could have been a powerful support to aboriganal communities.</p><p> </p><p>You must always walk in another persons shoes to go through what there going through to feel the hardship and difficulties to truly know what there life is like.</p><p> </p><p>Always look at things from another's prespective and realise that you need to look and care about other people who are struggling through hardship and difficulties.</p><p> </p><p>We need to stand as one nation to stand against the tide of history to help cange our nation for the better so we can all live in a powerful prosperous land where the opportuntities are open to all who wish to have it.</p><p> </p><p>You mustn't pass judgment on others if you don't know there situation you must always come from a place of love and understanding and always look after the vunerable and disadvantaged.</p><p> </p><p>It is still with in our power to make a change and a difference to our vunerable aboriganal communities you just show you care and stand with this powerful aboriganal community.</p><p> </p><p>There are many beautiful artistic paintings that are part of the culture. There are more then 150 langauges that are spoken no where else on earth. There is many bush foods that are grown no where else on earth.</p><p> </p><p>We as a society have a decision to make and I choose to stand with my brothers and sisters and offer support and guidance in there time of hardship. There many communities that would be feeling sad at this time.</p><p> </p><p>I want to say to everyone light a candle to symbolise hope and renewal of our nation.</p><p> </p><p>We hold the light with in our hands to light the path to a more powerful future it is up to the decisions that you make that will giude out of the dark with a candle into the light.</p><p> </p><p>Stand together and show love and forgivness to all and remember you are never alone in the dark always walk towards the beautiful light.</p><p> </p><p>I stand and pray for aboriganal communities at this time and I wish you a more powerful beautiful future.</p><p> </p><p>Stand as one nation under god to a beautiful more powerful future</p><p> </p><p>Abraham Lincoln</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  </p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi there, <br>\n<br>\nWe appreciate the different perspectives in this thread, particularly around the themes of empathy, compassion and self-agency. It is important that we are all able to share our individual journeys and having empathy for others in our community regardless of where they may be in their personal journey.<br>\n<br>\nHas anyone had an experience where another person's empathy has made a positive difference in their mental health? Sometimes having a friend ask if you're ok can make all the difference and marks a turning point in our lives. Looking forward to hearing from our lovely community!<br>\n<br>\nAs always if this conversation has bought any feelings to the surface we can be contacted through one of the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach them through <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Online Chat here</a>. <br>\n<br>\nWe appreciate the thought provoking conversation.<br>\n<br>\nKind regards, <br>\n<br>\nSophie M <br>\n </div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" }, { "author": "user-id/48930", "content": "<p>Deeply saddened of the voice out come and tbh l feel some shame of my own country once again and of our people.</p><p>This was such an opportunity and something Australia is soooooo far behind the ball on compared to other countries like nz , Canada and many others but yet now, we are just continuing on the same path of 200yrs.</p><p>l'm in disbelief tbh.</p><p>Very proud though that some of the states are standing up now individually and bringing in their own voice instead, SA and Vic so far that l know of , bloody brilliant and l pray all the others will have the courage to do the same.</p><p> </p><p>rx</p></div>", "date": "21-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" }, { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>In the future what do you wish Australia to be?</p><p> </p><p>Do we want to have a country which is divided and seperated forever or do we work together and a unifed community with a country of compassion ,love and understanding that respects everybodies point of view and accepts our diffrences as a nation and wants to plant the seed of unification and realise we are all the same we all are more beautiful for our differences if we where all the same we wouldn't have different people in different jobs we would all be office workers with no one to build our houses or make a delious meal for dinner like master chef on TV.</p><p> </p><p>We as a society we need to celebrate everyones unique differences because that is what makes us powerful and gives us the strength to walk forward not backwards.</p><p> </p><p>Did you know a kangaroo can't walk backwards because it is always looking to the future prosperity of the nation. We are so much more powerful together as one nation working on our strengths and how we come together and look at everybodies talent and what they can bring to the nation.</p><p> </p><p>It could be the simple cook or the humble builder?</p><p> </p><p>Our nation needs to be bult on love , compassion and understanding and understanding and always giving everyone the opportunity to make a life for themselve.</p><p> </p><p>Even me I am an immagrant but I came with the attitude that I want to help and contribute to our wonderful country we must not judge a man on colour give him a job and see him feed his family and strengthen his community. Everybody deserves the chance to prove that they can come to Australian and make a diffrence to those they love.</p><p> </p><p>Remember we are more powerful and beautiful together as a unified nation and you must realise people are different for a reason because the world would be so boring If we where all the same.</p><p> </p><p>We as a society must learn to forgive and give us a chance as a community and society to heal the problems of the past and say:</p><p> </p><p>What do you see or want in Australia's future?</p><p> </p><p>That is the powerful question I want you to think about.</p><p> </p><p>What future do I want australia to have?</p><p> </p><p>What country do I wish my children to grow up in?</p><p> </p><p>I have a dream that as a society we plant the seed of unity where we can create peace and harmony in the unverse and we can look at the stars and admire the true awsome universe. We won't see this future come to light if we don't come together and put our differences aside and choose to look at our differences as strengths to be harnessed for the betterment of our society to build a more powerful and prosperous future.</p><p> </p><p>We are all plants in the garden of life and there are different plants with different abilities and we need to show love, empathy and understanding to all plants.</p><p> </p><p>We are all wonderful and beautiful plants with wonderful gifts to share in society. </p><p> </p><p>Strength comes from our differences not from being the same.</p><p> </p><p>Cook a meal in of your cultural food and share in your work place and smile and laugh with collgues</p><p> </p><p>Look for different ways in your community to bring our country together that is how we stand unified.</p><p> </p><p>Remember hug and kiss your neighbours and laugh in this beautiful nation we call Australia.</p><p> </p><p>Always look towards what brings us together not what tears us apart.</p><p> </p><p>Stand and protect our brothers and sisters and never take for granted we live in our special land of opportunity our wonderful Australia.</p><p> </p><p>Love, hugs and joy to anyone reading this and remember to hug your family and especially your neighbours.</p><p> </p><p>We are more powerful together then a part   </p><p>    </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi Elephant</p><p> </p><p>I understand your perceptions but wonder how far such dreams will take us Re: \"<span>I have a dream that as a society we plant the seed of unity \".</span></p><p> </p><p><span>There is nothing wrong with having dreams and indeed sharing them however I question how realistic dreams are in terms of today, right now, they are long term only.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>I've seen many times in my 67 years, racism in this country, being raised in the western suburbs of Melbourne where immigrants made up about 90% or more of society including my school, where I was the only kid with a heritage in Australia beyond one generation. Then as an adult with some contact with investigations taking me interstate mixing with white Australians dealing with indigenous peoples and listening to the spite after working hours against our aboriginal brothers and sisters.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>So in essence I agree with the dream as a far away goal that in this century wont be achievable. Therefore I prefer to mix such dreams into practical baby steps many of us can take to make all races level, even, equal. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Here on this mental health forum we have people having difficulties fitting into society due to their illness/restrictions. Most of us are not indigenous. If it is hard for us as non indigenous then the difficulties indigenous people have in fitting into colonial life from the UK 230 years ago. That only 9 generations to assimilate to our early UK culture from people that have remained at a much less developed culture. Their less development was so because they didnt have a need to develop in the European way, they were quite content to be as they were and rightly so. How difficult it must have been to fit into the new Australia they faced.</span></p><p> </p><p><span>So I dont see the dream as very relevant, it is a theory and although an ok one it isnt productive , better to answer posts here on the struggles. Far better I believe to join groups that advance the indigenous cause to make life happier, to join political parties that aim for that. Reality is- the people that live near us or work beside us many of them hold racist views or they dont appreciate the difficulties indigenous people have faced and to counter that takes more than a dream.</span></p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" }, { "author": "user-id/48930", "content": "<p>Trouble is op , unfortunately you'd be preaching in the wrong forum here bc most of us here would probably want the same things.</p><p>Sadly though this place isn't filled with the typical and if you really hoped to change some things l'm afraid l'd have to agree with Tony bc lt's been 25yrs of mostly very hard materialistic gdp and money money soulless gov's that have made this huge impact on this country in all those ways and l believe built our people into what they largely seem to have become these days.</p><p>Yet once again we atm do have one in that wants to make some serious changes they aren't perfect either but at least they're trying in some ways but the power and hardness of people these days and the other side , literally run them into the dirt without feeling one thing for it, there's even a tv channel devoted to just that.</p><p>So yeah , you sound young enough and so politics or something as big as that and reaching as many people would be a great place to start.</p><p>There's also another Aus forum with 100s of 1000s of people in it but it isn't a mh health forum and l'm amazed at mostly just how hard and materialistic the whole place seems to be apart from a handful. Starts with W and that place sadly made me truly ashamed of our people and what we've become here, if that place is anything to go by.</p><p>So if you want to start with forums then that one will def' give you some work.</p><p> </p><p>All the best,keep the faith.</p><p>rx</p></div>", "date": "24-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/unification-of-a-nation-and-great-leaders/td-p/576851" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49302", "content": "<p>hi, I’ve been struggling with dpdr, anxiety and as a result of that depression for about 3 months after a bad trip. I honestly see no way out. I’ve gotten checked everything checked physically and go to a phycologist 1-2 times a week now. It’s extremely hard for me to live life and get out of bed. my attendance at school has dropped from almost 100% to like 30-40%. I used to be a straight A student now I’m failing almost every subject. I used to be the happiest most energetic girl ever, always going out with friends. now I can’t even get out of bed.<br>\nit’s the most horrible feeling in the world. I’m missing out on the best years of my life. I’m loosing all my friends. sometimes I feel like I’m dead and everything is in my head. my family and my friends feel like fakes, I feel no connection with anyone. when I speak to people it’s like I can’t understand or process anything they are saying. like my brain is shutting down. it feels like this can’t be my real life. this must be a dream or a coma. I think I’m going insane. I get constant panic attacks. everyone is telling me it’s just anxiety, but what if this is all in my head and I’m telling them to tell me that it’s okay? that sounds crazy right? I feel like I’m psychotic or schizophrenic. I get horrible nightmares and sometimes I even hallucinate when I wake up or when I’m about to fall asleep.</p>\n\n<p>I’ve told my therapist all about this and I’ve been prescribed an antidepressant. but the thing is I don’t think I’m anxious or depressed I think I’m actually going insane but I can’t explain it properly? and even if this is dpdr/anxiety/depression I don’t think I can ever be me again. i can’t even remember what normal felt like. I terrified and I’m just coming on here to see if anyone has tried medication for dpdr and if it helped at all? because I can’t find anything online.</p>\n\n<p>sorry this is a bit long. xx</p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalization-and-existential-anxiety/td-p/576534" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello emem0 &amp; welcome to the forum.</p><p>First up, I'm glad you are seeing a psychologist, &amp; I'd suggest they are the one to talk to about all the concerns you have. </p><p>Looking online can be useful, but for anything medical it can be tricky. The online sources don't know you, not your past, not what else may be going on for you, nothing, so the information you find will not necessarily fit you &amp; your situation. So that's why it's good to have a GP you can talk to, &amp; your psychologist you also can talk to as well.</p><p>Has anyone explained what the diagnoses you have mean? </p><p>I'm sorry people would say your panic attacks are 'just anxiety'. That sounds like they don't understand how serious this is, &amp; how much you are feeling when you have a panic attack. I know the feelings you have are strong, the thoughts really do feel 'crazy', &amp; you feel so out of control. That is something znxiety does.</p><p>Depression has you feeling tired, like you don't want to do anything, go anywhere, abl to get out &amp; be with friends or to study. It can make you feel really horrible, like the lowest you've ever felt.</p><p>I don't know much about the dpdr.</p><p>In any event, I would still say to talk more about these things with your psychologist or GP, maybe, ask your mum/dad to go with you to help you understand better what is going on, about the medication, &amp; then get on with learning how to manage the symptoms.</p><p>Yes, there are things you can do to help yourself. Some small things, even, like when you do get up in the morning, notice that you have done that. Notice all your achievements during each day.</p><p>Like, I'm really glad when you do get yourself to school. That's a very good achievement, given how difficult it has been for you.</p><p>Give yourself credit for what you can do.</p><p>I can be proud of you, but it's better if <em>you</em> are proud of you.</p><p>When you feel anxious, a good thing to do is to stop, sit, &amp; slow your breathing right down. It takes practice, so don't worry if you can't do it straight away. Jut focus on the breath going in &amp; out &amp; try to slow it down. If your mind wanders, bring your thoughts back to your breathing.</p><p>I'm sure your psychologist has other tools you can learn to use. Ask, \"What do I do when ....\" </p><p>Does this help?</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalization-and-existential-anxiety/td-p/576534" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi emem0</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you so much as you face what sounds incredibly upsetting, confusing and stressful. I was talking to someone just the other day about the kind of incredibly stressful situation you find yourself in, going on a trip that feels never ending in some ways.</p><p> </p><p>I'm wondering if you gained a different perspective whether that might help make some sense of things and offer some sense of grounding. From less of a psychological perspective and more of a natural one, if a trip is seen as an altered state of consciousness, in shamanism people are given a mind altering substance in order to be taken on a trip that serves them in some way. They're carefully guided into the trip, through it and guided in coming <em>out</em> of it. Someone could take the same mind altering substance without a guide, which can have a very very different outcome. You could even say modern day shamanism can be seen in MDMA trials for treating PTSD. Participants in these trials are carefully dosed, monitored and guided through their helpful trip and out the other side and then there's a debriefing in making sense of it all. The most important goal is to take someone back <em>out</em> of an intensely altered state of consciousness.</p><p> </p><p>Altered states of consciousness (to the degree that you describe) can happen for a variety of reasons. Whether consciousness has been intensely altered through a drug, it's been altered through trauma or even 'spiritual awakening' (a thing that can be very trippy for some), 'normal' life can be impossible to do while in such an altered state and I say this from personal experience. Easier said than done but try not to be too hard on yourself while you're in this state of consciousness. There can definitely be a 'which reality is the <em>real</em> reality?' factor. I know it may sound tedious but focusing on what feels grounding could be helpful. 'The table in front of me is here and it feels real. I can touch it and feel it. <em>It is real.</em> The tree in front of me is here and it feels real. I can touch it and feel it and I can smell it. <em>It is real</em>', etc etc etc. It's kinda like developing a part of you that can identify what's real. You come to rely on a part of you that grounds you <em>out</em> of such an altered state as you gain a greater sense of what's real. Find everything you possibly can that grounds you. Getting more into nature (in the back yard for a start) may help. The grass feels real, the breeze feels real and so on.</p><p> </p><p>In an altered state of consciousness the brain can become so confused because it has no pre-existing reference in order to manage the experience and make sense of it. Trying to make sense of the trip while you're in it can keep you in it. Plenty of time to make better sense of it all later after being grounded out of it. I've met a number of people who've have the 'which reality is real?' experience and they all say the same thing, 'It can become incredibly confusing, disorienting, upsetting and stressful' but the thing is they all came out of it with a new perspective and they all agree <em>a guide</em>, in the way of coming out of it, would have made things a heck of a lot easier.</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalization-and-existential-anxiety/td-p/576534" }, { "author": "user-id/49314", "content": "<p>I feel so much for you —- I too have had that. My advice, meditate, learn about spiritual growth, you are not your thoughts, exercise , cold water therapy ( ice baths ) are great to shock you back into reality. Keep on talking with your loved ones about it . You will get through it . Everything has happened for a reason . Sending healing vibes to you</p></div>", "date": "15-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalization-and-existential-anxiety/td-p/576534" }, { "author": "user-id/49392", "content": "<p>Man….</p><p>I had so many episodes of this exact thing to the point where I too thought I was going insane it took me a full year to overcome it and I had not and still have not Gone to a medical professional</p><p>you too will get over this horrible feeling/reality you are in its takes time and figuring out what works for you </p><p>you will definitely get back to to a better state but again it will take some time <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depersonalization-and-existential-anxiety/td-p/576534" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49254", "content": "<p>Hi, I have the worst anxiety over upcoming surgery on Friday. It’s to remove collapsed bones from my right dominant wrist (proximal row carpectomy). I’m terrified of the recovery, I’ll be in a cast for 6 weeks and a splint for 4 weeks, I’ll also need physio. I’m so anxious, I’ve been awake since 2am. I guess I’m scared of the unknown, I have a phone consult with the surgeon on Wednesday, I told the office I had major anxiety about the surgery so they booked a phone consult in</p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" }, { "author": "user-id/49247", "content": "<p>Gosh you have a lot going on and it is difficult to be in your place. Ask lots of questions and take another person along when meeting your surgeon. Make a list of questions. Good to know you have a plan and focus on having an optimal outcome.</p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" }, { "author": "user-id/49254", "content": "<p>Thank you for your words! </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>I am really sorry to hear that you have been experiencing so much anxiety in the lead up to your procedure. Fear of the unknown can be such an overwhelming one and can really eat away at you. You are definitely not alone in experiencing anxiety pre-operatively, the idea of anaesthetics and surgery can be distressing for so many people for all different reasons.</p><p>I think it is so important that you have been able to let your surgical team know that this is how you are feeling, as they can keep this in mind and better support you throughout the process. Is there anyone that you are close to who will be there before or after your surgery who you can talk to? It can often ease the distress even just a little bit to be able to externalise the thoughts and feelings that you're having and have that support from someone you know and trust. In any case, you will not be alone in your recovery - there will be doctors, nurses, physios, and others there to support and care for you. Let them know what is going on for you and, as mentioned by Jo, ask whatever you need to. </p><p>Please do not hesitate to use these forums as and when you wish. We are always here to listen. </p><p>Take care. </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" }, { "author": "user-id/49254", "content": "<p>Thank you Sunny! I ended up speaking to the surgeon, he said if I don’t have this done my wrist will continue to get progressively worked and I won’t be able to have the surgery in getting now, I’ll have to have a wrist fusion which isn’t a great operation and he tries to avoid it at all costs. He said I’ll be able to use my hand after 3 months and I might not need physio after, he made it out like the surgery isn’t as big a deal as I’ve made it out to be. He said if I keep delaying the surgery I’m just delaying the anxiety and this anxiety will keep coming back every time I try and have the surgery. He told me to go to the gp and get some calming meds as I’m too anxious to perform surgery on at the moment </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" }, { "author": "user-id/49392", "content": "<p>I wish everything goes well for your surgery and a speedy recovery <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span></p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-upcoming-surgery/td-p/576242" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49201", "content": "<p>I am 28 now and I'm still without direction for what jobs I want to do, I'm only thinking of trying retail and I'm not overly keen because so many people say it's a bad pathway, while with academics I'm not a study person but my only educational interest is nutrition related, but it's not to say I'm one hundred percent to even want to try it even if ever, but at the same time being a dietician is more interesting then anything else from University, I just wouldn't see myself being the person to achieve it or do it as a job, so it's sort of silly to mention or make it seem like it's a considerable possibility because I mostly rule it out with me </p><p> </p><p>I feel so challenged because I don't have much cooking skills and I also have to one day live after my mothers gone and manage my diabetes and I don't want a life of eating quick and easy un healthy foods for many reasons, my doctor says I might be able to get un diagnosed with my diabetes because it's in such good remission so that's one break through I'm hoping I can relieve with my challenges   </p><p> </p><p>I don't know how to find accommodations if I needed to know if ever, and I wouldn't want a future of        rent quality in comparison to a mortgage, I definitely don't want to live with strangers, only family or a marriage type of situation would be what I'm wanting, I wouldn't know how to pay bills online, I was told paying bills at the post office is becoming a thing of the past unfortunately</p><p> </p><p>I always had my mother doing laundry and I've helped her on occasion but don't feel like I am at a level to just know what I'm doing alone with all the fabrics and colours and how to operate the washing machine and how much softener and detergent to use, but maybe Google can tell me this? maybe it's not that complex, I have a basic sense but still</p><p> </p><p>I wouldn't know how to deal with the bank people on the phone and figure out how to resolve anything like with cards or financials or even what to say either</p><p> </p><p>I don't have the highest self esteem with people that I find to be rude or bully, I worry I can't handle life's adversity and conflicts or that If I don't have my twin brother if I'll know how to resolve any issues on my own </p><p> </p><p>I also worry I will never make friends finding anyone I like but I also see a lot of friends superficial to come and go, So I'm more family minded, Worry I'd never have a girl that's attractive and with the right personality or someone that would be a long term suitable, also general insecurity with intimacy</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "13-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome.</p><p> </p><p>Please dont blame yourself about your lack of knowledge and restrictions. Some of us have, from a young age, ventured out into the world early on in life and without the self esteem sisues, learned quickly many things. Eg  I joined the Air Force at 17yo, imagine what I learned in the 1st 3 months or recruit training- sewing, ironing, washing clothes (yes learned quickly how colours ruined items so whites separate), polishing, paying bills etc.</p><p> </p><p>There is still many people especially older people that pay bills with cash. So as long as you have a bank account you can arrive at your bank and withdraw cash. Council rates dog registrations etc can be paid at the council chambers, most bills at the post office and best to wait until they remove those services because worrying about the services being withdrawn may not ever happen, also usually another service like the news agency will take over those services.  </p><p> </p><p>In terms of where to live, rent of own depends on your financial capacity to do either. If you can buy then buy. Renting has to normally go through a real estate agent.</p><p> </p><p>Healthy eating isnt hard because you can buy a packet of pasta and read the instructions on the back for different recipes or buy a basic cook book. Your spelling and grammar are excellent so you would find reading those instructions easy. Buy fruit and also canned fruit in case you run out. Some frozen vegetables are ideal like corn and peas as you only have to insert them in hot water, wait for 3 minutes and drain. You might one day consider growing your own vegetables?</p><p> </p><p>As for not knowing your chosen field of interest with employment you are not alone there. Many people go through life not knowing what job they want to do. There is nothing wrong with becoming a dietician then after a few years changing professions to something else. But you need to, at your age, make a choice soon as the years will tick over. </p><p> </p><p>It look like your low self esteem is the major issue here. Perhaps while your mother is with us you can question her about how she does all these things. Yes google is your friend and research. Well done in taking the first step and write things down so you will remmeber.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Albert</p><p>As you learn new skills, your self-esteem will improve.</p><p>Google or whichever browser you use to open BB forums, is indeed your friend. You can ask any question, &amp; Google won't judge your question, just offers answers.</p><p>Such as, you can ask it 'How do I cook frozen vegetables?' &amp; you will see how, maybe even there will be Youtube videos you can watch.</p><p>Packaged foods do have instructions on the pack.</p><p>You can also find on Google, basic recipes to begin with. Maybe you don't know how to make scrambled eggs - ask Google, 'How do I make 1 serving scrambled eggs?'</p><p>Same for your washing. Whatever washing powder or liquid you use, it will have instructions. I don't think fabric softener is really necessary, but that, too will have instructions.</p><p>If your machine is new, that came with instructions. Work through those instructions carefully.</p><p>If it is an old machine &amp; you don't have the instructions, take a look at it &amp; find the brand (like, Hoover, Simpson, or some other - right there on the front somewhere. &amp; if you can find the model number, you can ask Google for instructions or users' manual for the machine you have. </p><p>I like TonyWK's idea to ask your mum to show you how to do most of the things you mention.  You can explain, now you are an adult, you want to do these for yourself.</p><p>If you have a local branch, I'm sure they would be happy to help you learn how to use their website. I found it daunting to use online banking. I still have only learned what I need to do. On each page I go to, there is a 'help' button, which will tell me about what I can do on the page I am looking at. If that fails to help me, I phone the bank.</p><p>If your bank doesn't have a branch near you, &amp; you need cash, you can get cash from places like supermarkets. If you go to the service desk, they can help you learn how.</p><p>Direct debit is another way to pay regular bills, like power bill, phone &amp; internet bills,&amp; more. The businesses you deal with can help you set that up.</p><p>I don't know what to tell you about finding your own place to live. It's very difficult now, &amp; not likely to get easier anytime soon.</p><p>I think becoming a dietician is a great idea. You have the experience of having diabetes, which is so common, many people you could help will have diabetes. The course itself will teach you so much about nutrition &amp; healthy eating. Even if you don't choose to work as a dietician, what you learn doing the study will be so useful to you.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "14-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/49201", "content": "<p>Thanks for your response White Knight, it's making my challenges feel less over whelming, I am just going to keep myself together and make the gradual check list and learn them slowly, the way I got my driving and now I can tick that off as accomplished. And yes I think I am not doing the Dieitican anymore because they want to make it a masters qualified field rather then a regular bachelor and I don't want 7 years of study for a salary that isn't more then regular anyway. Yes have a pretty good idea with healthy eating, I've made notes and seen dieticians in the past and I have a very happy results with my remission diabetes</p><p> </p><p>It's hard for me because my father keeps to himself behind the T.V. and he makes it that my problems are just my problems so don't bother me, His not a affectionate, understanding, involved father his very self centred, Makes you feel challenged or handi capped and thinks I have to explain to him or validate that I want to eventually work, He thinks I have to prove myself, I only have the love and meaning and support from my Mother, it always felt like I only had 1 awesome parent, I don't think my Dad being a bread winner can compensate for being a vain grandiose person  </p><p> </p><p>Appreciate your time and for making things seem more optimistic thanks mate!</p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/49201", "content": "<p>I mean I am saying that my father keeps to himself with T.V. and there's no daily conflicts or problems, but          his more grandiose on a psychological, emotional, and optimistic level, always feel like your swallowing your problems, You can talk superficial about the footy but his not a conversational personality, I feel maybe he wants the best for us but his not the consideration like my mother </p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/49201", "content": "<p>Thanks so much for your message mmMekitty I really appreciate the time you guys frequently give to the Beyond Blue, As far as the dietician I generally have the like and interest with the job description but I just typically don't have a disciplined study mentality, it's a lot of studies to make a entry salary it's not like a amazing University salary with being a dietician, and their eventually going to implement a masters requirement so I wouldn't want to study for 7 years to make $50,000, But maybe I'd like the idea of the TAFE Certificate IV with Nutrition. Yes my Mum will show me how to do a lot of things, She's all I have that cares to help me out, Thanks again mmMekitty appreciate your response and everything.</p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" }, { "author": "user-id/49357", "content": "<p><span>Your mother's willingness to help and support you is a valuable resource, and learning from her can be a meaningful and enriching experience. Remember that there are various paths to success, and it's essential to make choices that suit your needs and aspirations. Best of luck with your endeavors!</span></p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-i-m-feeling-anxiety-nowadays/td-p/576492" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49361", "content": "<p>I am in my 50's and suffer from childhood onset anxiety</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>During my life it became so severe I ceased my working life 10 years ago and fell into the grips of depression just to add to the fun.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Over my journey I have tried psychological treatments such as CBD, psychoanalysis, mindfulness etc - all of which were of no assistance with my anxiety.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I have also exhausted the pharmacological avenue via multiple psychiatrists giving me every med under every relevant medication class and also off-label meds that were designed for diverse illnesses.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>It is pretty damning that the last <b>class</b> of meds specifically aimed at anxiety came out 60 years or so ago.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I am left with having to accept that there is simply no meaningful help out there for treatment resistant severe anxiety. My lot in life is to endure the continual suffering for however many years I have left.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>It is a blight on medical research that with all the advances made in multiple areas anxiety is the poor cousin with no progress for many decades.</p>\n\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lack-of-effective-treatments-for-anxiety/td-p/576966" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi PickoB</p><p> </p><p>From what you say, it sounds like you've been a deeply feeling person from a young age. I wish there was someone who had helped you feel in ways that made a difference to you over all those years, so you wouldn't have had to suffer so much for so long.</p><p> </p><p>I'm actually a newcomer to the challenges of anxiety. As a 53yo gal, I've found a number of revelations over the years (since my late teens) that have led me to better understand periods in depression and <em>manage</em> those periods but anxiety was a whole new experience for me last year. I've actually taken this year off work in order to manage a less stressful number of challenges and regain some sense of energy and peace. As you'd know stress/anxiety can become pretty physically and mentally exhausting.</p><p> </p><p>I think when we're such deeply feeling or sensitive people we can <em>feel/sense</em> a lot more than some people who just can't relate. Just so much in life can have a <em>feel</em> to it. So many triggers. Certain thoughts have a feel to them, just as certain things that run through our imagination do. Certain words from people can be a trigger and certain sounds too. Wasn't until recently that I realised I can <em>feel</em> the ring of my mobile phone <em>through</em> my nervous system. Last year I was the 'go to' person for a lot of problem solving and help for certain members of my family. So now every time the phone rings I <em>feel</em> a problem coming. Next level feeling is when you can <em>feel</em> other people's feelings too. When you can feel other people's stress, anger, anxiety, frustration, intolerance etc it can be an ability that feels more like a curse at times. So, when you're feeling your own emotions, your nervous system, certain challenges, certain sounds, particular words, other people's feelings and a heck of a lot more, the question becomes 'How to feel <em>strategically</em>?'.</p><p> </p><p>Not sure if will be of any help but I found a good book to be 'Sensitive Is The New Strong' by Anita Moorjani. She acknowledges the <em>ability</em> to feel comes with a lot of challenges. It comes with certain mental, physical and even soulful kinds of challenges. While there are some spiritual elements to the book, if that's not your cup of tea there's still plenty to get from it. It kind of comes from the angle of 'What if I was always led to believe my sensitivity is a <em>fault</em> as opposed to an ability'. Then the question becomes 'How do I learn to better understand it and master it and do some amazing things with it that no ones ever led me to do before?'. For example, I wonder how good you are at reading people. Can you sense the stressful people compared to those who lead you to <em>feel</em> a sense of peace? Can you feel the degrading people, as opposed to those who lead you to feel inspiration? People definitely have quite a feel to them. The anxiety inducing and depressing ones are often the most challenging.<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lack-of-effective-treatments-for-anxiety/td-p/576966" }, { "author": "user-id/49361", "content": "<p>Hi therising,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for your thoughtful response to my post, it is much appreciated.</p><p> </p><p>To answer some of the concepts you raise, I would first say that in the past I have \"felt\" other people to excess. I have been excessively worried about the impact my interactions with people have on people. Compounding this my extremely low esteem leads me to fear other people as, ipso facto, they are better than me and can thus inflict harm on me - this fear has led me to isolate myself increasingly over time to the point that the only person I interact with is my wife. I have drawn my world in progressively to just be my house. I do not go out of it, I do not answer the doorbell, I do not answer the phone (I note what you said in relation to your phone ringing, for me the first ring of the phone induces a panic attack).</p><p> </p><p>My illness has progressed to such a pervasive extreme that I do not have the capacity to feel strategically. To draw an analogy, if you imagine a person who is in significant physical pain 24 hrs of every day, their capacity to feel or think of anything other than that pain is eliminated. The pain centre of the brain effectively dominates all the other aspects of what the conscious brain does. My anxiety is similar - it affects every thought, every emotion. It is omnipresent. The only relief and control I can get over that is via the consumption of alcohol (on a \"drip\" basis - that is I drink constantly but it is a constant sipping, not an attempt to becoming intoxicated) and taking Bz's. The combination of the two dulls the frenetic activity of my brain and gives me temporary respite.</p><p> </p><p>It is a very primitive/basic mode of treatment. It is sad that more appropriate treatment does not exist.</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lack-of-effective-treatments-for-anxiety/td-p/576966" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi PickoB</p><p> </p><p>You offer a great analogy, comparing the anxiety to pain, which leads me to understand how truly unbearable your anxiety is. I can understand the alcohol too. While classed as a 'depressant', this relates to its nature to <em>suppress </em>certain activity or processes in the brain and body. If emotion can be seen as energy in motion or e-motion, it is energy that can be <em>felt</em> on a variety of levels in a variety of ways. Slowing down such incredibly hyperactive energy to the point where it's bearable becomes the goal. With you having worked so hard to find better ways in managing such unbearable hyperactivity in your body, it would be unreasonable for people to say 'You shouldn't drink', without offering an alternative.</p><p> </p><p>I think people are inclined to judge heavily until they've walked a mile in another person's shoes. Take medical cannabis for example. While one person could say 'You shouldn't be dependent on that stuff' another who's experienced severe anxiety and/or PTSD would label it as a godsend that helps them manage their nervous system and life.</p><p> </p><p>Emotion is such a strange and fascinating thing. While I enjoy researching it from a psychological perspective and a chemical perspective, I also enjoy researching it from a natural perspective (the way it used to be acknowledged and treated before psychology and modern medicine were developed). I also find the connection between emotion and quantum physics fascinating too. With QP being all about the nature and behaviour of energy, it's an area of research full of incredible theories when it comes to how we experience and <em>feel</em> energy, whether it be within us or around us.</p></div>", "date": "21-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/lack-of-effective-treatments-for-anxiety/td-p/576966" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I live with a mum that's always anxious. She always says her anxious and intrusive thoughts out loud. Which, as a child, caused me to think the same way. </p><p> </p><p>I now have severe anxiety and depression. As well as agoraphobia and emetophobia from watching my mum freak out everytime she was nauseous or going out.</p><p> </p><p>I am working on overcoming these thoughts, but my mum just makes things worse as well. </p><p> </p><p>My mum wouldn't leave me alone even as a grown teen because my mum always says \"what if smth happens\". The times where I was left alone at home (because my family went next door to my relatives), I had panic attacks (that at the time I didn't know were panic attacks).</p><p> </p><p>Now I don't know what to do. I'm taking antidepressants and I'm working on my anxiety and depression.</p><p> </p><p>But I feel like my mindset is so ruined that I never feel better even tho there is evidence that I am doing better (like now I can go bathroom alone without being afraid or make my own food or eat without feeling sick or sleeping without thinking in going to die)</p><p> </p><p>I just don't feel better and my brain still feels the same as before.</p><p> </p><p>Wasn't what I went through supposed to mean smth?</p><p> </p><p>Wasn't it supposed to make me stronger and give me a new life?</p><p> </p><p>I want to go out by myself and have fun. </p><p> </p><p>I want to see people without panicking.</p><p> </p><p>I want to do my daily tasks without getting burnt out or overwhelmed so fucking easily.</p><p> </p><p>I want someone to tell me that there is a better life for me, so I can know I'm not wasting my time trying. </p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-to-stop-being-affected-by-anxious-people/td-p/576962" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Alel~</p><p>Having all those thoughts and fears gives you a horrible life, and the fact that you mum is there and behaves as she does is not a good thing.</p><p> </p><p>Still you are seeking medical help, which I found was the only way my anxiety and depression could get better. I too take medication and have therapy.</p><p> </p><p>If I had been asked at the time if it was possible to be at the recovery point I'm at now I'd have said it was simply impossible, and htat I was hopeless.  Actually now I'm in a pretty good place. I can do things and gain satisfaction, love and be loved, and deal with most matters - I enjoy life!</p><p> </p><p>I suspect that like me at the start of getting medical help for quite a long time, I could not feel any improvement inside myself, though others were starting to remark my behavior was changing - they were on the outside , not influenced by depression and anxiety, and could see with more perspective than I had then.</p><p> </p><p>As your mum is not helping your improvement do you have to live at home, or is there somewhere or somone else you could live with?</p><p> </p><p>I suspect your mind is not ruined any more than mine is, things heal. It takes time and the correct treatment and circumstances, and I would hope you will end up as I am</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-to-stop-being-affected-by-anxious-people/td-p/576962" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49356", "content": "<p>idk what to do anymore i keep over thinking and i cant get it off my mind i need help yet i have no one to talk to</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depressed-girl-loosing-herself/td-p/576946" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>With a head full of compounding thoughts, it can help to write it all down (pen and paper - oldskool!).<br>When finished, sometimes from shear emotional exhaustion, you can walk away knowing it's all there for you later to recall, edit, or toss away as you see fit.<br>Then you'll have no reason to keep things spinning in your head and can hopefully get some rest. A good night's distraction-free sleep will help make sense of things where you might find direction.<br>Of course, this forum offers an outlet to unload what's troubling you. Perhaps a bit of both might suit your requirements, or speaking to a GP who can refer you to face to face support is always worthwhile.</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depressed-girl-loosing-herself/td-p/576946" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hi astraluvsrhys,</p><p> </p><p>A warm welcome to the forums. It sounds like you have a lot on your mind at the moment. Please know if you are in crisis and would like to talk to someone immediately you can contact the team here at Beyond Blue by visiting <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor</a>. </p><p> </p><p>I can definitely empathise with you. As someone with lived experience of depression and anxiety I have suffered and still experience overthinking and rumination. Often I will worry about something that may or may not happen in the future or ruminate on something in the past. For example, I can spend a long time overthinking whether or not I took my medication in the morning and work up quite a lot of stress and anxiety around this. </p><p> </p><p>Here is a good article on challenging negative thoughts. I have used some of the techniques here and found it useful. I can highly recommend the last one which is talking it out. <a href=\"https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-challenge-negative-thoughts\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-challenge-negative-thoughts</a> </p><p> </p><p>Hope that helps.</p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/depressed-girl-loosing-herself/td-p/576946" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49354", "content": "<p>I’m just trying to change habits that have not been good, I particularly get anxiety when Im driving in unfamiliar places and in stressful situations, it would be good to develop some strategies to feel better!</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trying-to-change-habits/td-p/576933" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hello there, </p><p>Thank you for posting on the forums, you're definitely not alone in what you're experiencing and I'm sure that there are others who can relate to what you're feeling. But I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, it sounds like you're getting some pretty intense anxiety. </p><p>There are a few strategies that you could try. Different things work for different people, some of these may not be your thing and that is more than okay, but here are some suggestions you may like to try for when things feel really overwhelming or difficult: </p><ul><li><span>If you're open to it, you could try some grounding techniques: they<span> can be helpful in bringing you back to the present and out of your racing mind (there is some info on Blue Knot <a href=\"https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors/Self-care/grounding\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors/Self-care/grounding</a> about different grounding techniques which you may find useful to do)</span></span></li><li><span>Speaking with your GP or a psychologist: often sharing these feelings and talking to someone about them can provide some relief, the clinician may also be able to support you in reducing your anxiety </span></li><li><span>It may be helpful to write down some of the most common anxious thoughts that you are having so that you can challenge them and see them in a different perspective, this may help remove some of the power that your anxiety has over you</span></li><li>Scheduling \"worry time\": allocating a specific time period of the day (e.g. 10 minutes at 5.45pm) to go through your concerns/worries. This may involve writing things out, running over things on your mind, planning how you can work around/through them. This means at other times, you'll need to try to \"postpone\" your worry, acknowledge the anxiety but say to yourself that you can come back to that worry and address it later.</li><li>Similar to the above, journaling or writing allows you to dump all your thoughts/worries onto a page (handwritten/typed whatever you prefer) and can help organise your thoughts and get them out of your system so that you can see your thoughts from a different perspective</li><li>\"Vaulting\" your feelings/anxieties: acknowledge the presence of your anxiety, but try to put those worries aside, are the worries really helping you? You may want to visualise storing them away in a box, put them away for now, return to them another time. It may help to develop a bit of a mantra e.g. “Now is the time to set aside ruminations. I am trying to focus on other things. Put it away for now, leave it for another time.”</li><li>Listening/doing meditations or progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).</li><li><span>Some people also find a stress ball, fidget toy or other distractions helpful. </span></li></ul><p>These are just some suggestions but <span>I hope you are able to find something that helps you, it is good to make a list of options that you think you may find helpful so that you have a few different things to choose from.</span></p><p> </p><p>Please do not hesitate to reach out when you feel up to it. We are here to listen.</p><p>Take care.</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trying-to-change-habits/td-p/576933" }, { "author": "user-id/12490", "content": "<p>Hiya,</p><p>I also get a lot of anxiety and one thing that helps me is to just break the spiral or chain of thoughts and just count to 3 or 10 or whatever number you want even if you do it really quickly. This kicks in for me now almost like an instinctual response because it doesn't take as much energy/effort as the grounding techniques occasionally can and (if nothing else) stops you from panicking for just that second, which is sometimes enough to start self regulating I guess. Feel free to disregard this but I hope you find something that helps!</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/trying-to-change-habits/td-p/576933" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49360", "content": "I have a new manager who has the mind of a 12 year old boy I am the youngest and he’s the oldest at my work I have been given the silent treatment for over a month and I’m just feeling depressed and alone and went to my HR lady she didn’t seem to take my side and she said “ you might need to quit to show him he’s lost a good staff member”. I then got ambushed and she turned on me and wasn’t supportiveI had a break down went home for the weekend and then came back to work for a ladies lunch she was there I was so depressed I couldn’t acknowledge her. So she called me a bitch behind my back I did turn around and say really but she already had her back to me and ever since I have been applying for jobs and plotting along I had my review with the owner and he said he highly doubt she would say that and has gone and not believed me. So I’m done but I work in a small town and I can’t afford to quit I need help because I’m broken.</div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-bulling/td-p/576955" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>The silent treatment can be for a variety of reasons overall, but if used in a manner that is designed to hurt another person then it can been seen as emotional abuse. The hard part of this if fact is- that they are your boss and other people, unless they too have received such silence against them, wont believe you of your account. This is the difficulty working under such a person.</p><p> </p><p>Being your boss and the support they have received from that HR, I would think there is little chance of finding common ground.</p><p> </p><p>Find another job asap. There arent many bosses that have professionalism, training nor tact. </p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/is-this-bulling/td-p/576955" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49299", "content": "<p>Hi all. I've been feeling pretty lonely lately so I thought I would turn here for some advice. I'm worried almost all the time to the point of physical illness. Even leaving the house can be enough to set me on edge. Social situations make me especially nervous, and I tend to replay them in my head for days afterwards. The <span>constant fear means it takes me longer than my peers to hit certain milestones, and it makes me afraid that everyone is judging me for it.</span></p><p> </p><p>There have also been a few issues at home, and my family has praised me for being so calm and collected through it, when in reality I'm far from it. There's just a lot of pressure to live up to their expectations and not add more to their plate. There's no one to talk to about it and it makes me feel like an imposter. I lie every single day and no one really knows me. I feel like a failure. And I worry about the day everyone else realises I am one as well.</p></div>", "date": "17-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-like-a-failure/td-p/576729" }, { "author": "user-id/47481", "content": "<p>Sorry to hear about your anxiety. I really relate to the feeling of being a failure, as personally the last few years I haven’t done very much at all.</p><p>something that helps I suppose is to remind myself however that only I’m responsible for my scenario and if anyone is judgemental, that is their decision, it’s ’none Of my business’ to take on a very brief, likely uninformed judgement from someone.<br>When you are going through difficult times always be kind to yourself and compassionate.</p><p>i really feel for what you are saying about feeling isolated with nobody to talk to, are there any types of low-key community activities, absolutely anything sewing, spiritual, sports, “meetups” that you could go to with people who are basically down to earth? I think going somewhere where others also aim to socialise could be comforting. A lot of people need some extra connection in their lives too I have realised that in some of the groups I attend that some people are in a similar boat regarding feeling lonely.</p><p>I hope your anxiety reduces soon.</p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-like-a-failure/td-p/576729" }, { "author": "user-id/49299", "content": "<p>Hi, thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my post; it really means a lot to me. I'll try to take your advice and look for some community activities. I like the idea of spending time with people whilst also being able to pursue some sort of hobby. I will definitely also be trying out your tips for responding to judgement from others.</p><p>You said you can relate to how I feel, so I hope things look up for you as well! And once again, I really appreciate your help with this.</p></div>", "date": "18-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-like-a-failure/td-p/576729" }, { "author": "user-id/47481", "content": "<p>You’re sooo welcome. Also I totally agree, hobbies are awesome even and it’s good to have distractions. Things are going fairly well for me. Thank you :). Take care :).</p></div>", "date": "20-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-feel-like-a-failure/td-p/576729" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/8091", "content": "I just bought a house by myself and am moving out of my parents home in my late twenties but ever since I bought it I’ve been so upset. I know it will be good for me and that I need to start gaining independence, etc. but I love my parents so much and am devastated to leave. I can’t stop crying or feeling anxious about it because I’m going to miss this house and living with them. Has anyone else felt this way or have any advice?</div>", "date": "06-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi CeeCee33,<br>\n<br>\nWelcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.<br>\n<br>\nWe are sorry to hear that you have been so anxious to move out of home. We understand this must be so stressful and overwhelming for you.  We just want to remind you that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.<br>\n<br>\nIf you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: <a href=\"http://www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport</a>  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.<br>\n<br>\nWe hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. </div>", "date": "06-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/8091", "content": "Thankyou. It’s hard because as an only child I know my parents are upset I’m moving out too so I don’t want them to know how upset I am and make them feel worse. They’re excited for me so I don’t want to take that away from them.</div>", "date": "06-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/6224", "content": "<p>Hi CeeCee33,</p>\n<p>Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing this with us.</p>\n<p>Congratulations on buying a house in your late twenties! That is no easy feat.</p>\n<p>I understand how you are feeling. I moved out and I'm an only child. I had a lot of mixed feelings around it, because on one hand I was excited to be having my own place but on the other hand I'd been living with my parents for so long.</p>\n<p>I think the best advice I can give you is to let yourself feel both; it's okay to be laying in your new bed in your new house while wanting to be in your old bedroom, and it's okay to not want to move into your new house because you like living at home so much.</p>\n<p>It was a big adjustment for my parents, especially at first because they were so used to me being around and I think it was hard for them, but it won't always be, and being 'empty nesters' can be a really good experience for them both. </p>\n<p>I hope this helps a little</p>\n<p>rt</p></div>", "date": "09-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/10475", "content": "<p>First of all, congrats on getting your own place! </p>\n<p>I know it's a huge achievement and also very daunting at the same time. It's like, we just expect that when we get our own place everything will be fine but in actual fact (from my POV) we get worse because we start to worry about all those little things associated with a house that we've never really had to deal with before. </p>\n<p>I think the best way I could describe how I felt at first (and this was at least for the first year or two) is home sickness. I would cry because I would miss my family and I would worry because my mum would be on her own (my dad works interstate) and I know how clumsy she can be. This was only heightened during all the lockdowns we had. </p>\n<p>It has taken some time to get my head to understand that (for me) my family are not very far away and I can ring them whenever I want/need.</p>\n<p>My advice to you would be keep regular contact, as often as you need it - whether it be on the phone, zoom (which can be fun and you have some amazing laughing bouts with the fam) and/or in person having lunch/dinner - whatever you and your family enjoy. It may also help to maybe spend a weekend at your families home every now and then (stay over after dinner) if you can. </p>\n<p>The most vital thing in my mind is be honest and tell them how you feel. If you miss them tell them, let it out because they're probably feeling the same way. </p>\n<p>Sending loving vibes xx</p></div>", "date": "09-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi CeeCee,</p>\n<p>i think having these emotions is only natural, you are for sure going to miss your parents and that's okay.</p>\n<p>but i would be super proud of yourself for buying a house, that's an amazing achievement! you're allowed to be sad, but try to think of all the good times this new chapter of life will bring you. positivity is key!</p>\n<p>i hope you're ok, i'm here to chat,</p>\n<p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "09-02-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/8091", "content": "Thankyou for the kind advice RT- I’ve been feeling somewhat better about the move over the last month but getting the keys on Tuesday has brought back that dread. I’ll definitely remember when I’m there to let those feelings take their course and hopefully that will help purge them a bit!</div>", "date": "14-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/8091", "content": "<p>Thankyou for the vibes, they are gratefully accepted <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>I took your advice and had a talk to them about staying over every now and then until I settle in- I think it will be less daunting that way without having to go “cold turkey”. And I will definitely take on board your advice about honesty and letting them know how I’m feeling</p>\n<p>Take care!</p></div>", "date": "14-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/8091", "content": "<p>Hi Jaz,</p>\n<p>Thankyou for the encouragement! I’ve been feeling a lot better about it over the past month but since I’m getting the keys on Tuesday some of those feelings are coming back. I think planning things to do in the house and talking with my parents about them coming to visit has helped me stay positive so I’ll take your advice and make sure to keep that up!</p>\n<p>Take care!</p></div>", "date": "14-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" }, { "author": "user-id/49163", "content": "<p>Hey CeeCee, </p><p> </p><p>I am in the exact same situation as we speak. I’m moving out of my family home for the first time, and am so nervous about it! My husband works nights 4 days a week so I’m concerned how I’ll go being on my own of a night. I’m used to a boisterous household with all our family animals. <br>I am very close with my parents and worry about how they’ll cope when I move. <br><br></p><p>I am just wondering how you are going a year and a half on? <br><br></p><p> </p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-over-moving-out-of-home/td-p/17787" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49159", "content": "<p>I feel this is weird and very specific but Ive had a singing teacher for a number of years who is also a counsellor, they often use counselling methods in lessons saying that singing often brings up difficult emotions, which it does. I am quite socially anxious and well often talk about things in lessons, often the discussion is too short and leaves me a bit unsure of myself. I actually don’t like discussing my insecurities much, it can help but it’s often caused me to cry in lessons.  The teacher recently broke up with her husband stating emotional abuse and when I mentioned my mother not showing emotions much because she’s English, the teacher said no, that’s abuse very definitively and criticised my mum as a person that she’d dealt with in person. I was a bit shocked, she is certainly not abusive but very loving (just doesn’t tell you how she feels) and it really upset me, she will often be at concerts my teacher attends. I felt ashamed that I’d made my mum seem awful and wrote an email to the teacher telling her the reasons why my mum is the way she is and that she’s not abusive and that my husband (who she called manipulative) was not.  The teacher thought I was stepping over a boundary and looking for counselling, which I wasn’t. I couldn’t sleep after this, I was a few days out of my period and it stressed me out so much that I called her to explain that I wasn’t looking for counselling, I was just really upset that she’d said my mother was abusive. She was quite angry at me and at the same time accused me of two things that I’d done which had upset her in classes recently, one which I can understand over a very silly joke that I acknowledged at the time but the other was completely fabricated.I felt completely gaslit and that it was all my fault for blurring boundaries but I feel that she’s always blurred the lines and breached my boundaries and perhaps she shouldn’t use counselling methods if she doesn’t want her students to feel like they can bring things up. She’s now put up a very ‘professional’ wall and won’t apologise for calling my mum abusive or acknowledge it, it’s all my fault. <br>I feel quite destroyed over this, it’s really affected me, I feel like I can’t judge or trust people well as it is without someone I’ve worked with for so long making me feel like this. Her moods have been unpredictable in the past couple of years too, I don’t know what to make of her. I’ve also caught a couple of lies that were weird and pointless in the past. </p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/am-i-wrong-out-of-line/td-p/575562" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>All professions have qualified individuals that aren't professional enough to occupy that role. They might well have passed achieved the qualifications to get them into such profession but that doesnt mean parts of their personality is suitable to carry out those duties.</p><p> </p><p>I think it was unfair conclusions thy came to based on such short conversations. Furthermore when you consulted her with a reasonable request she got defensive and even combative. </p><p> </p><p>Clearly this music teacher should not include her counselling but I do see why she does, because she feels she has more than a music teacher role leaning towards a personal interest in your well being, thats what people that are counsellors do, they have empathy. However I think she was over reactive.</p><p> </p><p>If this music teacher is that abrasive I think moving on to another one would be the answer. I dont think this situation is easily repairable back to what it was.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/am-i-wrong-out-of-line/td-p/575562" }, { "author": "user-id/49159", "content": "<p>Thankyou Tony, </p><p>I really appreciate your opinion, I’ve discussed it with my partner who thinks similarly but I really needed outside advice, I felt like I was going mad/ overreacted, perhaps I did but I really felt that she could’ve had more empathy towards me, rather than snapping to this corporate wall- like personality. It may be the result of her going through divorce etc but it really hurt. In high insight, I think I’ve been on the edge of some kind of burnout and it triggered me more than it should have. I feel too humiliated to go back to her, even after all of the years of work I’ve done with her. I think I’ve needed to move on for two years though, it’s overdue. I really appreciate your input, thanks again. </p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/am-i-wrong-out-of-line/td-p/575562" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49147", "content": "<p>I’m bipolar 2, recently stopped working due to a work place incident, living three hours from my two sons who I see briefly for one night every fortnight.  I’m so sick of battling my mental health, I feel like I self sabotage everything and constantly struggle to cope with the situation I’ve found myself in.   <br><br></p><p>the truth is I don’t see any positives in the future and I’m tired of having the generic discussions with mental health professionals and family.  </p></div>", "date": "30-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-don-t-want-to-fight-my-mental-health-anymore/td-p/575524" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome, I have bipolar 2.</p><p> </p><p>I had a workplace incident in 1987, I fought against minor corruption. Ended up losing my job.</p><p> </p><p>In 1996 I separated from my first wife and had my kids (7 and 4) every second fortnight. Until my eldest moved in with me at 12yo. She is now 34yo. My youngest I dont see at all.</p><p> In 2013 I fell in a heap and have never worked since.</p><p> </p><p>All sounds familiar? Ok, so although we are individuals there can be some similarities with bipolar sufferers. We can be accident prone, over reactive, sensitive, cyclic with moods, negative, black and white attitudes and self destructiveness. I've been on here 10 years and have lots of knowledge and experiences, I still fall in a heap often. So acceptance of our illness is a no brainer, its the effects of the illness itself that controls our situations we find ourselves in thats is the real problem.</p><p> </p><p>Mens sheds, sports with others, gatherings etc, we dont seem to fit in and if we do it isnt for very long. We yearn to be hermits in fear of rejection and find a lot of relationships superficial. So, after all that what is the best avenue we can focus on?</p><p> </p><ul><li>Develop faith in the future. Yes your children will be adults and visit you on their own when able.</li><li>Consider moving closer to be more involved in their lives - if possible</li><li>Get a medication review </li><li>Develop your positives, they wont arrive on their own</li><li>Introduce more variety. I used to own a small caper trailer and take off Friday nights and get back Sunday morning. Campfire, bbq... fishing... can you do that with your boys?</li><li>Positive thinking? see below</li></ul><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/14769...</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/equality-parenting-how-important-is-it/td-p/8020\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/equality-parenting-how-important-...</a></p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/do-we-expect-a-smooth-road-in-life/td-p/127389\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/do-we-expect-a-smooth-road-in-life/td-p/127389</a></p><p> </p><p>Lets talk more. I'm here daily</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-don-t-want-to-fight-my-mental-health-anymore/td-p/575524" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with anxiety, depression, fear of change and struggling to do every task in life. </p><p> </p><p>I want to be someone who doesn't have anxiety and depression. Who doesn't get scared of change and doesn't overwhelmed by every task.</p><p> </p><p>I know things get easier. But that still means I have to deal with it. When I want it to go away forever.</p><p> </p><p>What do I do? </p></div>", "date": "30-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-don-t-want-to-cope-with-it-i-want-to-get-rid-of-it/td-p/575489" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>When ever I read a post like yours I quickly feel sad and it reminds me of my youth, a time when I felt the same.</p><p> </p><p>Then I changed completely in 30 minutes.</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525</a></p><p> </p><p>However that wasnt the end, thankfully it was the beginning. I realised every person has some unique talents that mental health issue bring. In my case poetry (plenty examples in poetry corner on this site) plus helping others. My depression, bipolar and dysthymia have given me an extraordinary ability to convey my stories and sensitivity into poetry that I love. Such poetry is read out in many funerals in the past, used for victims of crime and so on.</p><p> </p><p>What is your unique ability?  Think of Van Gogh, Churchill, Stephen Fry and so forth. Google- \"famous people with depression\"...</p><p> </p><p>The above is a process that allows you to accept your illness, your greatest challenge. </p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/14769...</a></p><p> </p><p>So please try to get this in perspective, yes it hurts, yes its a challenge but if we think positively then everytime we see someone in a wheel chair we'll think how great it is we can walk... and if in a wheel chair we'll think how great it is we can push that wheel chair with our arms and so on.</p><p> </p><p>It's a focus on what we have, not what we havent got. Life is great. Life is hard, life is great...</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-don-t-want-to-cope-with-it-i-want-to-get-rid-of-it/td-p/575489" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>It starts off with anxious thoughts, \"what if something bad happens\", \" what if everything is going to be hard for the rest of your life\" or \"what if you won't be able to handle this for much longer\"</p><p> </p><p>The it goes into self hatred, \"your a toxic person\", \"your fake\" or the hardest \"your purposly making yourself sad because you like being mentally ill\"</p><p> </p><p>I don't know what to do or belive anymore. What if I'm actually making myself mentally ill? </p></div>", "date": "30-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-does-my-mind-purposely-try-to-scare-myself/td-p/575498" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>I recall 1987 with a therapist. He asked me how the week wnet. I replied about my fears- of falling into a river than was flooding, of my father dying but was then in good heath and 5 or 6 other fears. He said \"you need to consider what is realistic and what is not. If its unrealistic eg likely not to happen then reject it or it will cloud your mind.</p><p> </p><p>Indeed I learned to reject such thoughts but it took time as my mind was programmed to think negatively from my upbringing. To help with that I went to motivation lectures and read books on motivation. Read- </p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525</a></p><p> </p><p>Sadness can be a hollow we fall into on a cycle that we develop, if I'm any example. It can also be part of an illness like Dysthymia or depression (I have both plus bipolar2). So there can be reasons for sadness without obvious prompting so that calls for a GP visit and a chat. You could also be somewhat self destructive in condemnation of yourself. This could be low self esteem and/or a dislike of yourself for any number of reasons. This also could benefit from therapy. Sometimes therapy just results in a push in the right direction and away you go onto the better path of confidence and control so try not to think about the process as a doom and gloom journey more like a discovery of your capabilities and moving on from the influences that resulted in where you are now. This discovery is a exciting and productive way of living and it wont be long before people love your company because, you like yourself for who you are.</p><p> </p><p>Mountain climbers would all fall if they occupied their minds with the drop...</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525\" target=\"_blank\">https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525</a> </p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/why-does-my-mind-purposely-try-to-scare-myself/td-p/575498" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>So I recently got diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I had to go into psychiatrist care and take medication. I'm now at the beginning of taking new medication and it is working well. I am still working on some fears of mine like emetophobia and agoraphobia. As well as working on my anxious and depressive thoughts. I still find it hard to do simple tasks that I am more than capable of physically doing them, just mentally draining for HOURS.</p><p> </p><p>For the most part, I am doing really well. I stopped having panic attacks and major depression. But I'm finding it hard to move on from what I went through. I'm afraid it might happen again or that it's something so serious I shouldn't just continue with life. I don't want to revolve my anxiety and depression around my whole life but I'm also afraid that I won't be ready if it come back. I don't know what this feeling is. I still got so much work to do and to heal from so much, but all I feel like doing is sitting on my phone for the whole day. I can't stop thinking about what I went through and what was happening before. </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggling-to-move-on/td-p/575339" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I'm genuinely feeling okay but it's scaring me. Why am I scared that I feel okay. I feel really on edge. Please someone help. </p></div>", "date": "28-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggling-to-move-on/td-p/575339" }, { "author": "user-id/48984", "content": "<p>Hi Alel, I very much relate to this and those feelings are really valid and understandable and so is that need to escape and or, at least for me, to disassociate or detach... and it's really good you have shared your feelings too, I often find if I can just say outloud/or be heard in some way, my brain can start to accept those feelings with less judgement of myself...</p><p>I am not sure if I have any advice / or rather I can't make the right words come out of my brain right now.</p><p> </p><p>I've found reading many of the resources online helpful, and sometimes the information resonates with me, or I'll learn a new tip (like washing my face with cold water to help me change my focus when I'm spiralling) and finding that just looking at some flowers in my backyard or a bird out my window while feeling the sun on my face. </p><p> </p><p>Best wishes</p><p><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":cat:\">🐈</span></p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggling-to-move-on/td-p/575339" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p>I can understand how scared you feel after what you have been through but I believe your anxiety and depression is less likely to return as you begin to develop some positive habits.</p><p>I know how unmotivated you must feel but I don't believe sitting on your phone is the answer. Perhaps if you made a list of other activities you could be doing and timed your phone usage, say to one hour after each meal then try to do just one thing on your list, say walking outdoors for a while and noticing the natural environment, playing your favourite music or taking a long hot shower.</p><p>At first, it will probably feel quite difficult to do these activities but after a while you might come to enjoy your surroundings and taking care if yourself more.</p><p>Overcoming mental health issues is just as difficult as recovering from a physical illness. It won't happen all at once but gradually I'm sure you'll find more pleasure in life and your worries about your mental health issues returning will lessen.</p><p>I hope this has been helpful and wish you the very best. I look forward to your further postings so that I can celebrate your gradual recovery with you.</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Richju </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggling-to-move-on/td-p/575339" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/40238", "content": "<p>Hi</p><p>I was just wondering if there was anyone else out there with adult adhd who finds it hard to keep existing freinds or making new freinds ,which can lead to loniness.?</p></div>", "date": "16-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/adult-adhd/td-p/547166" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Dear shayne w<br>\n <br>\nIt's great to see you and thank you for reaching out this evening to share with others your experience of adult ADHD. <br>\n<br>\nWhile you wait for our lovely community members to respond, we just wanted to remind you that if you need to talk we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our Webchat.  As you know, our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.<br>\n <br>\nWe’re sure to hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. Thanks again for posting, we truly value your contributions to the forums! <br>\n <br>\nRegards <br>\n <br>\nSophie M<br>\n </div>", "date": "16-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/adult-adhd/td-p/547166" }, { "author": "user-id/22474", "content": "<p>Hi Shayne, welcome to the forums. </p><p> </p><p>I wanted to pop in to let you know that you're being heard, we're listening if you'd like to share more about things? </p><p> </p><p>I am an adult and have ADHD as well as Complex PTSD, more or less managing depression, so far no other diagnoses, but that'll do me lol. </p><p> </p><p>I wish I had some advice for you about keeping existing friends or making new ones, so you're not so lonely. <br>What do you think is going wrong with these relationships? </p><p> </p><p>Do you have a Counsellor or Psychologist to support you? </p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure of your age and work situation, but I know that Men's Sheds are pretty awesome places to connect with others. <br>Do you have one of these nearby? </p><p> </p><p>Hope you pop back in and let us know how you're doing<br>EM</p></div>", "date": "16-09-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/adult-adhd/td-p/547166" }, { "author": "user-id/49134", "content": "<p>Yes. I cant be bothered making new friends anymore. Existing friends are painful. I prefer to be by myself. Its just hard to continue with things i like doing.</p></div>", "date": "29-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/adult-adhd/td-p/547166" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/14432", "content": "<p>Hi my name is Carmen and I am scared of ageing as I am 67 and getting lined and wrinkled </p><p>My worry is that my partner is going to find someone who looks like a supermodel </p><p>I do have grounds for this ...a few years ago he was having an affair with a girl who worked with him , 3 hour long phone calls every night,  him getting angry at me for daring to ask questions about his work </p><p>The list goes on,  evidence of an affair was virtually slapping me in the face </p><ul><li>They don't have contact now and I think that he is blaming me for putting my foot down,  was either her or me </li><li>This has increased my anxiety and I'm worried I am losing him </li><li>Please advise me on what to do </li><li>Thanks in advance </li></ul></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-of-a-possible-failed-relationship/td-p/575027" }, { "author": "user-id/49070", "content": "<p>I am so sorry that you have been through this awful experience, you deserve to feel secure and desired and respected. Some people might say to leave him, but you mentioned you don't want to lose him...  I can understand, and maybe you are afraid because it is happening later in life and you thought he might have settled down by now.</p><p> </p><p>It is not fair for you because most people assume that the partner stops this type of tricks by this age, but it still happens sometimes and I think it is difficult to predict when it might occur. Please don't allow his poor behaviour to make you feel bad about your appearance. I know it is easier said than done. But even if you were the supermodel, he is likely to stray anyway no matter what you look like. Now is the time to be kind to yourself and to not worry so much about your looks. Us women spend a lifetime feeling insecure about it and you did not deserve to feel insecure in your youth, and you certainly do not deserve to feel insecure about it now. You are you and I am sure that you are really lovely just the way that you are. If he doesn't appreciate it, that's on him. That's a him problem.</p><p> </p><p>You get heartache, but he is upset that his fun gets ruined? Do not allow him to make you feel guilty for the pain that he has caused himself and you. He is lucky that you are still with him because the way he is acting, he doesn't deserve your acceptance. I understand that you are afraid to lose him, but don't feel bad for standing up for your own self respect and the way that he should be respecting you.</p><p> </p><p>It would be good to have some extra support at the moment. Do you have some good friends to confide in? Could you speak with a counsellor for a few sessions? In my experiences, I have really liked speaking on the phone with the Sane Australia hotline. they are free and most of them are qualified psychologists allowed to give advice. They speak for a decent amount of time also. You could ask them about their on-going counselling sessions they have. It is free and they can have weekly/fortnightly/monthly sessions with you as extra support. I found it to be beneficial. ARCVIC in Victoria hotline is also really great but their team is sometimes less qualified, although super caring. I just think it would be good to get to the bottom of the anxiety about losing him, soundboard the possibilities and how you would/should/could feel about each possible scenario if it happened. It might diffuse some of the anxiety. They can also advise you on some steps you could take if you are leaning towards speaking with him about it, or if you ended up thinking it is best to leave. You definitely need to have an honest, mature and logical conversation with him, when the timing feels right and you feel a little more stable about what might be happening. So maybe get the support first and speak with someone about it, then make a plan for what to do next. I would do it individually. You could maybe try couples therapy later at least a few sessions with him there also. But right now, you need to have your experiences heard fully on your own to give you clarity and strength.</p><p> </p><p>At the moment, put yourself first. It might be good to diffuse some of the stress and just look after you for a while, the answers about what to do with the marriage or what to do next, they will come. Do what you need to in order to feel a little better the next few days or weeks if possible. Go out for walks, sit at the park with a cup of tea, call a friend and vent (or if it feels better not to vent, you can try to ask them to talk about their life to help you focus on them). reach out and do the self care things and try not to let the situation consume you. You don't have to have all of the answers right now. You and him have a lot of history most likely, so he will hear what you have to say whether it is now or in a few weeks time. Take good care of yourself now.</p></div>", "date": "23-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-of-a-possible-failed-relationship/td-p/575027" }, { "author": "user-id/48828", "content": "<p>Being gaslighted by making you feel guilty about his conversations with another lady, is not cool at all. I’m 42, my gf is 50, and I have never been in love prior to meeting her. I could no more even look sideways at another woman the way I look at her, without cutting my own arms off. <br>You do not need to be anxious about your looks, we all age the same. If your husband is not being faithful, at least in your eyes, you should pull him on about it. There is nothing to be gained from bottling any of this up as any kind of ammunition. Be forward, be direct, and tell him how he has made you feel</p></div>", "date": "25-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-of-a-possible-failed-relationship/td-p/575027" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Carmen</p><p> </p><p>My heart goes out to you as you <em>feel</em> your husband's words, misdeeds and lack of trying to put the spark back into your relationship, leading you to feel more reassured. Being a 53yo gal with mainly grey hair (when I'm not dying it bright red, pink or purple) and some really obvious lines and wrinkles happening, one thing I've taken to doing is pulling faces in the mirror so as to see where each line may have come from. I have the stress related ones that came from all the times I worried about and cared for people. I have the laugh lines put on there by every person who made me laugh and smile. I have the squint lines that remind me of all the times I <em>should</em> have worn sunglasses (shame on me). I have the ones I swear I got from all the wondering I've done over the years, whether that be wondering about <em>why</em> I've felt depressed at times or anxious through to wondering about even the simplest and most beautiful of things in life, like nature or how I could possibly love my kids so much. I have earned every line that tells a story. Besides wearing sunglasses most of his life, the <em>lack</em> of lines on my husband's face reflect a lot of what he <em>hasn't</em> done.</p><p> </p><p>So, here we are Carmen, our beautiful selves who have wondered, stressed, smiled and laughed on occasion, worried about others we've loved and so on. What do we deserve for all that? We deserve some serious pampering in my opinion, not someone who's going to go off and find a better model. We deserve someone who's going to say 'You are seriously amazing, you are so beautiful. Let me pamper you!'. Let me give you a facial, a hair brushing, a foot massage'. And when it comes to the tough times, the times in a marriage where the relationship is really tested, easy to go off and find someone who floats your boat. Far more challenging to bring sparks back into a marriage. Easy to complain how it's not fair that he couldn't play with some shiny new thing. Far more challenging to bring shine to a relationship that needs some polishing.</p><p> </p><p>You are perfectly you. You are not perfectly anyone else. You are your beautiful self. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "28-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-of-a-possible-failed-relationship/td-p/575027" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49124", "content": "<p>In the age of ubiquitous screens and virtual realms, can the digital embrace of online children's therapy rival the age-old, face-to-face therapeutic odysseys?</p></div>", "date": "27-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-effective-is-online-children-s-therapy-compared-to/td-p/575314" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Paul</p><p> </p><p>Good question. I think it comes down to how well a child can relate and also how well the therapist can relate to some of the challenges that come with not physically meeting. </p><p> </p><p>I think a lot depends on the sensitivity of the child. A more sensitive child will perhaps work better with a therapist who's in the room, as opposed to on a screen. Whether the therapist is wearing a peaceful, calming or happy perfume/aftershave a child can <em>feel</em> the effects of or whether they're able to give off a sense of warmth through their nature, which can be felt more so in person, could be a couple of factors. Another could involve how a child perceives or <em>feels</em> sound (especially if they're sensitive to sound). There's more of a kind of 'fullness' to sound in person, compared with simply hearing it through speakers. Being a sensitive kind of gal, I can personally feel the difference between an in person meeting and one on Zoom. I think a great therapist can deliver a sense of warmth, guidance and support through their words, whether they're physically in the room or not. If more therapists are going to come to work online, I believe this is a skill they'll need to develop.</p><p> </p><p>With no chance to meet in person and the only option being online, an online appointment with a brilliant therapist is much better than no appointment/guidance at all. Perhaps, if possible, an in person meeting to begin with would be of some help, so that kids could get a better sense of/feel for who they're working with through a laptop. Who knows, perhaps in the next 30 years or so kids will be interviewing therapists online, for the position of 'best possible guide' (getting a feel for the best one, the best connection). Interviewing 5 in one month, with parental support, would be much better than trialing each out while having to wait months and months in between.</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-effective-is-online-children-s-therapy-compared-to/td-p/575314" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49086", "content": "<p>Hello everyone,</p><p>I’m struggling with Asbestos OCD, and thought this a good place to connect.</p><p>I bought some vintage workwear pants  that were made in the 50’s, from a lovely vintage store.</p><p>It suddenly occurred to me that they were still using asbestos in the 50’s, and my OCD has been triggered as I’m incredibly anxious about these pants now - as i have been wearing them around my children and washing them with other clothes.</p><p>I am feeling as though everything is ‘contaminated’ and its all consuming and anxiety provoking.</p><p>if anyone has any support to offer it would be greatly appreciated- thank you. </p></div>", "date": "24-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/asbestos-ocd/td-p/575129" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hello Rosyrain</p><p> </p><p>Welcome and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue family. I have worked in the rag trade years ago.</p><p>Asbestos has and is still a concern for many people. You are not on your own being careful yet clothing isnt usually a risk.</p><p> </p><p>Asbestos is only a problem when the fibers are airborne. Everything<em> cannot</em> be contaminated. I understand you love these classic vintage pants. <em>Can you let me know more about the fabric....for example...do you think they are pure cotton like a vintage pair of Levi's are? </em></p><p> </p><p>Its only my humble opinion Rosyrain...The chances of you having vintage clothing that contained asbestos fibres would be extremely rare.  However as a person with long term anxiety issues I would throw them out if they started to have a detrimental effect on my well being.</p><p> </p><p>The forums are a caring and non judgmental place for you to post....Thankyou again for being a part of the forum family Rosyrain</p><p> </p><p>my kindest always</p><p> </p><p>Paul</p><p>Online Volunteer</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "25-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/asbestos-ocd/td-p/575129" }, { "author": "user-id/49086", "content": "<p>Hi Paul,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for your kind response, it has helped bring some peace of mind.</p><p> </p><p>The pants cost me quite a bit of money, and yes I do love them - so ideally I would like to try work through this however I agree with you that if they continue to cause anxiety, the best thing to do is discard them. <br><br>The fabric appears a bit thinner and softer than denim - I believe its a cotton/canvas. They are a tan/ beige colour - i was told they are Australian military pants, and have buckles on each side of the waist. The tag says ‘Workmaster’ Sydney, N.S.W, 1952 and there is space for someone to write their name and regimental number. There is also a logo D^D (arrow in between the D’s) with the number 6 next to it.</p><p> </p><p>I really appreciate your time and understanding, for what could seem like a silly problem to some.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/asbestos-ocd/td-p/575129" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hi Rosyrain, we never expect a response yet thankyou for taking the time to do so....<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face:\">😀</span></p><p> </p><p>I appreciate the detail you have provided Rosyrain. These are a cotton-based fabric which was common for pants manufactured at the time. Especially with the buckles and the space for someone to write their name.</p><p> </p><p>Its only my humble opinion Rosyrain...These are a precious pair of 70 year old pants most likely military as you mentioned with the detail. I wouldnt let them go....these are a 'keeper' </p><p> </p><p>Its not a silly problem at all.<em> You are strong for speaking from the heart</em> Rosyrain. There are many gentle folk that can be here for you (and me). I really hope you can stick around the forums only if you wish and choose to do so. Any questions are always welcome </p><p> </p><p>I hope you are having a good week</p><p> </p><p>my kindest </p><p> </p><p>Paul</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "26-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/asbestos-ocd/td-p/575129" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/34839", "content": "<p>Hi, </p>\n<p>Last year I had a falling out with a friend. It was a messy, awkward and confusing falling out. Very soon after, this person deleted me from their social media accounts. Unfortunately we have the same classes so I see them frequently. Every time this person, sees me, they physically turn the other way and avert their gaze. This small action hurts me to no end. Although the falling out happened last year, I find that I am constantly thinking about it, playing out what happened in my head and every time they avoid me. I can't help but feel the thing that made us fall out was very trivial, though rationally I know I should respect their decision. Emotionally I feel anxiety, guilt, anger, confusion... </p>\n<p>I feel anxiety any time I have to go to university because I know I will see them, even if it is just a brief passing at the corridor, because I know they will avoid me. I am living week by week mentally figuring out how many times I will see this person. I make elaborate plans to try to walk a longer way etc. to avoid them. The fact that I'm racking my brain over this makes me feel guilty. </p>\n<p>Although I am very embarrassed about this, I've shared this with some close friends (though I do not go to university with them) and family. They have been very supportive. However its 1 year later and I am still anxious about it. My friends and family have expressed confusion as to why I'm still so worked up about it, and I agree with that, and the fact that I still am makes me feel even more guilty. I'm trying to cope by exercising and hanging with my partner, but at the end of the day, or whenever I have a moment to think, this fills up my mind. </p>\n<p>It is so exhausting. I just hate that I'm worked up over something that really began from something so trivial, but has wallowed in my mind for a year now. This kind of situation has happened to me before (three times!) where I've had conflict with a friend and felt anxiety every time I saw them. During high school this happened too and it left me in depression for two years until high school ended and I did not have to see them anymore. So this time around, do I have to wait until I finish university for my anxiety to end? </p>\n<p>I know I need to move on, and I keep telling myself that, but I can't help but feel anxious. </p></div>", "date": "03-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>Hello Reika, I've got exactly the same situation as you and it was over something so small that it's ridiculous to even consider to be a problem, but for me, I don't worry about it now.</p>\n<p>I've tried several times, birthday, Xmas and when something has happened, all to no avail, especially when her son always used to say exactly the same to her as what was said, so 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander'.</p>\n<p>You're exhausting yourself over something that may not be repaired, that's not your fault, but over this past year you've grown apart, you've developed new ways, different skills and different relationships with new friends and remember if you have had a falling out with each other now, it probably was most likely to happen anyway.</p>\n<p>If you did reconnect then it would be hard to agree on many different topics.</p>\n<p>Stand tall and think nothing of it, there will be many friendships you gain and those that fall away during your next years, that will be part of your lifestyle.</p>\n<p>Best wishes.</p>\n<p>Geoff.</p></div>", "date": "03-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi reika and a warm welcome to you!</p>\n<p>As you know, we all go through periods of change and growth. How we handle the challenges during these times is what determines our growth. </p>\n<p>It sounds like your friend is finding it difficult to grow through these circumstances. What makes this most obvious is the fact that they turn their back on you when they see you. If it makes sense, they are actually turning their back on the challenge they face <em>when </em>they see you. Can you think of what that challenge or those challenges might be, from <em>their </em>point of view? Perhaps such challenge is found in <strong>forgiving </strong>(moving <strong>for</strong>ward through the act of <strong>giving </strong>release to their feelings or the situation).</p>\n<p>Of course, you can't force this person's growth but you can influence it and at the same time influence your own. I know it may be difficult but can you imagine every time you walk past them you give a small smile of acknowledgement. Make the smile symbolic; it's up to you what it could mean. Perhaps it might mean 'I am growing <em>through </em>seeing you on this occasion' or it could mean 'I am growing/maturing <em>beyond </em>these feelings we have towards each other'. You'll find what works best for you. Avoiding this friend means avoiding the chance to grow <em>beyond </em>the anxiety, guilt and anger. As I say, I know this won't be easy but eventually there will come a time when seeing them will not invoke the dreadful emotions you're experiencing. </p>\n<p>Whether your smile hardens them further or softens them a little, that choice remains <em>theirs</em> on their own journey of evolution.</p>\n<p>Take care of yourself</p></div>", "date": "03-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/42178", "content": "<p>I am so glad to hear that other people experience the same feelings.</p>\n<p>I'm at uni and have had a fallout with a friend of four years. It was so nice to have their advice or even their request for assistance, it just made you feel like you were appreciated and valued. Uni seems to be developed to especially crush your self esteem, somehow, they are preparing you for the world by beating you down? </p>\n<p>I find I spend far too much time thinking about the fall out, I send apologies, but never receive a reply. I am in the same course and must spend days with this person, who I once held so dear. I reflect upon who they have become, and realise they are under the same pressure I am. Where once they politely listened to my ideas, now I am cut off mid sentence with \"NO\". </p>\n<p>This is their way of dealing with the obstacles that lie before them. I don't believe it is me they truly hate; though, as a friendly caring face in the crowd, I am an easy target for pent up emotions and frustration. Looking at my x-friend I can see the cracks, they don't care for themselves anymore, disheveled appearance and always late. I realise it is better they learn to stand alone and work through their problems, not meeting my eyes, avoiding me, or speaking down to me, are tools used they make themselves feel better about themselves -at my expense.</p>\n<p>My path is a different one. </p></div>", "date": "03-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/34839", "content": "<p>Hi Nothappy@uni, </p>\n<p>It's good to know I'm not the only one going through this.My situation is also with a friend of 3-4 years, and I feel confusion as to why this one trivial incident can make this person shrug off 3-4 years of a strong friendship. And I simultaneously feel shame that I did something so \"bad? evil? terrible?\" that it was able to topple this friendship. </p>\n<p>I agree that the reason they are doing this is because these are their tools to cope/ to handle the situation. Although I know this rationally, it still hurts me when they do it. <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">That is terrible that this person cut you off mid-sentence and kudos to you for not letting it get to you. </span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Another facet of my situation is this person has several friends, and I can't help but feel they all \"took his side\" and think of me as a terrible, evil person, and give me dirty looks as I walk past. It makes it even more difficult for me as I now feel anxiety about the prospect of seeing <em>several </em>people at university. </span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">May I ask how you are handling your situation? I know I really need to take the high road, move on and prioritise my studies. Unfortunately the anxiety has been such that I've been skipping classes :(. I'm working on it...</span></p></div>", "date": "10-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/34839", "content": "<p>Hi Geoff, </p>\n<p>Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you've overcome this issue! </p>\n<p>You're completely right that I'm exhausting myself over this, because I'm struggling to find any rational reason for why I feel this way. As it is, there is no point dwelling in the past, we can only ask, \"<em>what is my next correct decision?</em>\"</p>\n<p>Another good piece of advice I heard is \"<em>is the problem in the room?</em>\" When I am riddled with anxiety trying to figure out how I am going to navigate the next day so that I can reduce seeing this person, I sometimes think this to myself and remember to be present in the moment. The problem isn't here now. That gives me some solace (sometimes). </p>\n<p>Another advice is asking yourself, \"<em>how is this (feeling) serving me?</em>\" Am I growing from it? Will it help further my goals? Often times, the answer is no, so I should stop feeling anxious. </p></div>", "date": "10-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/42178", "content": "<p>Hi Reika,</p>\n<p>I have so much on, I have not been to the site for a week.</p>\n<p>I notice you managed to drop in today too (those killer mid semester assignments).</p>\n<p>You asked how I have handled things. I have been myself. I have become closer to other students who need support just as much as I do. I am surprised at how many students have so much going on in their lives.</p>\n<p>I ask people how they are going, and people will tell you. We all need an ear sometimes. That's why we all write to these forums. </p>\n<p>The fascinating thing is, that gradually my old acquaintance has realised I am not the problem, it is the unrealistic expectations the university puts on us all. We are all suffering, and snapping at one another benefits no one.</p>\n<p>We are far from friends, but at least the old acquaintance and I are on talking terms again. There are plenty of aggressive sorts who delight in other peoples discomfort, they would rather see everyone hating everyone else.<span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Better to avoid them when and where ever possible.</span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\"> All the best to you. </span></p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">Just remember, all of us look for distractions to avoid the work, thinking about broken friendships is another distraction you don't need.</span></p></div>", "date": "11-04-2019", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" }, { "author": "user-id/49209", "content": "<p>I know it's been a long time for you but I'm in a similar situation right now🥲🫂</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-out-with-a-friend-and-seeing-them-everyday/td-p/419471" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49181", "content": "<p>Hi everyone,</p><p> </p><p>I've made a big mistake (under tough conditions). I'm having some serious intrusive thoughts and being incredible hard on myself. </p><p>My mistake is work based and could be catastrophic for my career. I also have information that could destroy a business. I'm so torn as to what to do and I don't know how to stop the racing, intrusive thoughts.</p><p>Thanks everyone, I'm new to this community but must say the chat feature saved me today! </p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-mistake-and-anxiety/td-p/575676" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>This might help.</p><p> </p><p>A long time ago I worked for a Govt body. I was told to accept what was mini corruption. It favoured a Local politician as he was friends with my bosses. I refused. I continued to treat him like everyone else in society. </p><p> </p><p>Eventually I went off after a panic attack that was initially misread as a heart attack. I was off work for 10 months and during that time I fought the Govt body bosses in the media and push for inquiries that I was successful at getting. I had all the evidence. Regardless, I lost my job. I was going to therapy.</p><p> </p><p>Therapy helped as I finally got clarity. </p><p> </p><ul><li>It was honorable my actions but not realistic. I over reacted. I should have accepted such grey areas exist and distanced myself from the corruption</li><li>I could have easily told my supervisor to handle the situation and cut me loose from it</li><li>It took me 22 years to recover from anxiety from that situation.</li></ul><p>So, without knowing the circumstances depends whether a similar dodging of responsibility is just, however, the first thing to realise is that only humans make mistakes. Mistakes are ok  as long as you learn from them. If they are criminal in nature then you'll need to swallow the consequences.</p><p> </p><p>So intrusive thoughts are also interesting. My therapist at the time trained me to reject unrealistic thoughts. Consider if they are a real possibility if not keep busy with activities and they will disappear. An idle mind is filled with a wandering mind getting filled with these.</p><p> </p><p>The most important thing about serious life events like this is- that in  one year or so it will be resolved one way or the other. Then you'll look back and realise it is a mistake and you'll be optimistic about the future. Be more gentle with yourself, even the most intelligent of all people make mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>Does that help?</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-mistake-and-anxiety/td-p/575676" }, { "author": "user-id/49181", "content": "<p>Hello!</p><p> </p><p>Thank you so much for your reply.</p><p>I am in awe of your passion for fighting for the right thing. </p><p>Your reply helps immensely. My mistake would not cause criminal actions but could hurt myreputation in a small town. </p><p> </p><p>I, like you have sought legal advice and I have very strong case (which would destroy the business and leave people out of a job) BUT I will not take action unless forced to. I think it is better to let it go and learn from my mistakes. Look after myself, my family, my mental health.</p><p> </p><p>I am seeking therapy and have just commenced medication to help with my depression and anxiety, which is already helping.</p><p> </p><p>This forum and service literally saved my life, so again thank you for the reply and advice. </p><p> </p><p>I love the intrusive thoughts suggestion...they can definitely move along!</p><p> </p><p>Hope you have a great day!</p><p> </p><p>Basilboy! </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-mistake-and-anxiety/td-p/575676" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>That really great to hear as we dont get a lot of feedback and dont expect it either.</p><p> </p><p>Letting it go so to speak is often the better alternative, however it can annoy us for a long time so we have to also find ways not to allow it to fester underneath. There is positives in all negatives and often time heals through, in this case, owners sell up, workers change, it might not ever happen again.</p><p> </p><p>But essentially pride and stubbornness can be our enemies. Life is too short to get too tied up in whats right or wrong while missing the beauty of the grey in between.</p><p> </p><p>Regards and welcome here anytime</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/big-mistake-and-anxiety/td-p/575676" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I've recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression as well as agoraphobia. I've also been dealing with my fear of vomiting, fainting and sometimes weather ever since I was young.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I'm only on my 2nd week of my meds and i still feel on edge or low sometimes. But most of the time, I feel relaxed and okay. </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>The thing is tho, I don't know what to do with this feeling? Because when I'm anxious or depressed, I have steps and practices to do. But when I'm happy, I just have to live? Why is it so weird to me?</p>\n\n<p>I don't know what to do. Even tho I feel better, I don't see the appeal of going out, doing a hobby or going for a little walk even. I'm just sitting on my phone. All day.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I know meds takes a while to actually work, I don't know how it feels for meds to fully work as I was never got to that point with my last mess. So I'm still quite scared of what's to come before it works or if it actually works.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I'm also afraid that I'll never overcomle my fears as I can't get myself to face them.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>As well as accepting I have a chemical imbalance. It just makes me feel broken knowing I'll deal with anxiety and depression for the rest of my life. It just seems like such an exhausting and terrifying life.</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I also got alot of bad things going on in life, but luckily not too bad. I have to work on finding a life for myself and getting over my past. </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>There's just so much, which is quite overwhelming, and being uncomfortable with feeling okay is just pushing me back. I want to make progress but now I have to get comfortable with it? </p></div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/uncomfortable-with-feeling-okay/td-p/575737" }, { "author": "user-id/49194", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, it is amazing to see how you are working towards improving your mental well-being and do remember that you always have our community's support.</p><p> </p><p>I read something very interesting recently - when you go shopping for a chair, you inspect many chairs to assess the most appropriate option. Factors such as size, colour, height, width, how it impacts your posture, comfort and a lot more, are to be considered. Often you sit on multiple chairs to assess and sometimes you end up going to multiple stores to find the right option for you! For you, It is crucial to remember that you will find medication that suits you best and allows you to contribute positively to your mental health. I do hope that the medication you are currently taking is effective.</p><p> </p><p>It is important to remember that is a gradual process, I find it so inspiring to see your determination and strength to ensure you contribute positively to your mental health. Medication is supposed to assist you in protecting your wellbeing, however, you should implement coping strategies to ensure that your mind is able to adjust to the new emotions that you are experiencing. Working towards building a habit can allow you to be more mindful and relaxed. Reading a few pages from a book, breathing exercises, writing a few lines about how you are feeling, meditation or maybe even listening to some peaceful music can allow you to familiarise your mind with your new feelings. An activity within your household will enable you to focus on your mind if you are feeling unsettled with emotions of relaxation and peace.</p><p> </p><p>I think it is completely fair to be uncertain about the new feelings that you are experiencing, giving it time and working towards focusing your mind will allow you to overcome this unfamiliarity. Please remember to reward yourself on your small achievements to the long-term goal of contributing positively to your mental health.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps!</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Sarea.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/uncomfortable-with-feeling-okay/td-p/575737" }, { "author": "user-id/49181", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p> </p><p>I am a first time poster and this is my first reply. </p><p>I resonated with your post. </p><p>I am not sure how to feel OK, either.</p><p>I was chatting with my husband a few days ago and said to him I'm scared to feel OK because I don't think I've ever felt ok/happy consistently.</p><p>If I look back, I would search for those feelings of anxiety and depression because that is all I have ever known, it's like those feelings are my normal. I have just started medication and I'm not sure if I can feel it working already but I do feel better. I'm able to sit with the uncomfortable and ask those thoughts and feelings to move on. </p><p> </p><p>I have just found an amazing psychologist and we are unpacking this, so I don't have any advice I'm sorry, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. </p><p> </p><p>This is an amazing community who support each other without knowing each other. </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/uncomfortable-with-feeling-okay/td-p/575737" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>Things that scare me or give me anxiety:</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<ul>\n\t<li>Thinking about my past (especially)</li>\n\t<li>Thinking about my present</li>\n\t<li>Thinking about the future</li>\n\t<li>Urges</li>\n\t<li>Eating</li>\n\t<li>Vomiting</li>\n\t<li>Fainting</li>\n\t<li>Nausea</li>\n\t<li>Dizziness</li>\n\t<li>Feeling gassy</li>\n\t<li>Thinking about religion (not religious but my family is and I feel like I'm lying to them. Also dealing with religious trauma)</li>\n\t<li>Thinking about death</li>\n\t<li>The thought of being broken</li>\n\t<li>The thought of never getting better</li>\n\t<li>Cold or hot weather</li>\n\t<li>The thought of going crazy or insane</li>\n\t<li>Constantly feeling on edge or off</li>\n\t<li>Headaches</li>\n\t<li>The thought that I'm faking my mental illness or that I like being mentally ill</li>\n\t<li>Side effects of my meds and not knowing when I should be concerned</li>\n\t<li>Constantly being in existential dread everyday</li>\n\t<li>Being too conscious of my mental health, but also panic when I realise I've been too much in my head</li>\n\t<li>Loud sounds</li>\n\t<li>The thought of being a mean or toxic person</li>\n\t<li>Depression or depressive episodes coming back</li>\n\t<li>The thought of not eating on time, eating too much or too little, eating too fast (emetophobia)</li>\n\t<li>Change but also feeling stuck</li>\n\t<li>Body fatigue</li>\n\t<li>The thought of drinking too much ot too little (emetophobia)</li>\n\t<li>Living with a dysfunctional family that constantly fights </li>\n\t<li>Living with an anxious mom </li>\n\t<li>Bad family health history </li>\n</ul>\n\n<p>I'm just struggling and so many people have gone through this before and I have so much to learn and conquer and achieve. </p>\n\n<p>I wouldn't even have to go through all this, or have to overcome so much things or have to achieve things everyone already has or didn't even have to try for them to achieve it. </p>\n\n<p>If my brain was normal, the only thing on my mind would be teen things. </p>\n\n<p>But no, I have to have</p>\nsevere anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and ocd. \n\n<p>It's so hard to deal with. I'm so afraid of my own brain. I feel so different from everyone around me.</p>\n\n<p>I know I'm not alone but it honestly feels like it. </p>\n\n<p>Don't have to help but tips for any of these things would really help please. I am trying to see a psychologist but I wanted to get a start now until I can get one. </p>\n\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-i-get-tips-or-advice/td-p/575798" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Alel, <br>\n <br>\nThank you for sharing with us here. We can hear you’ve been having a really difficult time and it's understandable that you are overwhelmed by this. We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so. <br>\n <br>\nWe want you to know that you are not alone, while you wait for our lovely community to offer support please know that we have options of someone you can talk to. Often talking through our struggles can make us feel less alone. We’d really encourage you to give us a call on the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer:   \n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://online.beyondblue.org.au/WebModules/Chat/InitialInformation.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Beyond Blue</a>   \n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Kids Helpline</a>   \n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Lifeline</a>   \n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/connect-with-a-clinician/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Headspace (9am-1am AEST)</a>   \n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling? <br>\n <br>\nKind regards,  <br>\nSophie M </div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-i-get-tips-or-advice/td-p/575798" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Alel</p><p> </p><p>While it's liberating in some ways, to be on such an enormous quest in coming to better understand yourself and the way you tick, I can understand the overwhelming compulsion when it comes to wanting all the answers and revelations as soon as possible. As soon as possible means not having to suffer through what you don't yet have the answers to.</p><p> </p><p>I've found that while I can have a list of about 20 different challenges, becoming a detective of sorts (getting to the bottom of what each challenge is really about) can mean approaching things strategically, which could look a little like</p><ul><li>identifying which challenges tie in together</li><li>which ones began earlier in life, compared to which ones developed much later and could they be a result or side effect of earlier issues</li><li>which challenges are a result of chemical imbalances which may be responsible for anxiety, chemical based depression, extreme fatigue etc</li><li>which challenges are more mental, involving certain belief systems I was raised with, certain social belief systems etc. Which ones relate to inner dialogue and require skills in managing inner dialogue (skills I may not have yet)</li><li>which challenges are more soulful or soul destroying ones</li><li>which ones I need guides or certain specialists for, compared to the ones I can manage on my own</li></ul><p>and the list goes on and on.</p><p> </p><p>I think the most important thing to consider above all else is <em>our nature</em>. 'It's in my nature to...' can help explain a lot in some cases. If it's in your nature to feel other people's stress through <em>your</em> nervous system, such a nature takes great skill to manage. If it's in your nature to feel down when no one's raising you, such a nature definitely comes with challenges, especially when most people around us are 'downers'. How to raise our self at times can take a heck of a lot of skill and strategy. If it's in your nature to be able to feel the speed of your thoughts (mental hyperactivity), skill's required in slowing thoughts down and even becoming thoughtless at times. If it's in your nature to be wonderful (full of wonder) it is so <em>incredibly</em> important to have people who will wonder <em>with</em> you. This is something I've discovered for myself. I could spend weeks or months wondering all alone as to <em>why</em> I can be feeling so depressed but when I have those close to me all wondering about the possible reasons, chances are I will be led to revelations much sooner. Fellow analysts, fellow wonderers, fellow visionaries (who can see the problem <em>and</em> solution through their imagination) and fellow sensitives (who are sensitive enough to <em>feel</em> my frustration) never say stuff like 'Stop over analysing. Stop wondering about so much and just get on with life. Stop daydreaming. Stop being so sensitive' etc.</p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-i-get-tips-or-advice/td-p/575798" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>With the nature part, that is what scares me. That the anxiety and depression are apart of me and no matter what or how many coping skills I learn, it'll never be enough and I'll just have to live with it.</p><p> </p><p>Or that I'll always be afraid of smth and will never get over it. So I would have to spend the rest of my life adjusting to that fear and making sure it doesn't affect me.</p><p> </p><p>It just makes me feel broken and weak. </p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-i-get-tips-or-advice/td-p/575798" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Alel</p><p> </p><p>Your fears are understandable. A sensitive nature can feel like a set of scales, where we're always trying to manage some tipping point. What will tip me into depression? What will tip me into anxiety? </p><p> </p><p>If someone said to me when I was a kid 'I'm going to give you the power of <em>heightened</em> or <em>super</em> sensitivity, so that you'll easily be able to sense everything really easily' I may have been excited by that, proclaiming 'Bring it on! I can't wait'. I may have thought 'This is going to make me special and give me an ability or super power some people just don't have'. In reality, it's a heck of a lot of hard work, managing that ability, one that's come to feel like more of a curse at times. I can easily say I'm far from having mastered it, yet I've come far in my progress, compared to where I was at 20 years ago. This ability never came with a manual, so trying to figure it out has looked like a patchwork quilt of resources. Books, different YouTube resources, courses, chats with other sensitive people who've traveled much further than me (those who can offer guidance based on their experience), places and people to vent frustrations and confusion to, a circle of supportive and inspiring people... It's a huge list, so I won't go on. Basically, I would never have survived without a lot of these resources.</p><p> </p><p>While I've managed the ins and outs of depression since my teens through to now, at 53, it's only in the last year or so that I figured out a major factor and that is...I cycle. Life can be going okay when suddenly a potentially stressful and/or depressing challenge presents itself. I will <em>feel</em> it. I'll go into a <strong>downshift</strong>. How long I stay in that downshift depends on 1)how quickly I can identify what the challenge is really about, 2)finding the guidance/resources I need and 3)how quickly I can relate to what new facet of me is trying to come to life. It's the <em>revelations</em> become the key to unlocking an <strong>up shift</strong>. Basically, with each cycle I kind of 'give birth' to some new facet of myself. The pain aspect I'd call 'the labour pains' of <em>gradually coming to life</em>, bit by bit. Some of those pains can feel unbearable. Some require a lot of hard work and strategy to get through.</p><p> </p><p>Whether it's the analyst in you trying to come to life through analysing the hell <em>out</em> of everything or the sage in you offering guidance while insisting 'You can't manage this alone' or perhaps the feeler in you that is eager for you to get a feel for the best way forward while trying to lead you to get a feel for some of what you need to let go of, <em>all</em> can present pain when on the verge of fully coming to life.</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/can-i-get-tips-or-advice/td-p/575798" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49171", "content": "<p>Hi, I’ve always struggled with social anxiety and it has been always hard for me to meet new people and make friends. It takes several times before I feel comfortable with someone and all the tasks (except for work) that involves going out my home in a social environment, often give me a stomachache and the need to go to the bathroom. <br>I think the main issue is that I’m not feeling confident with myself and I often feel ugly and different. <br>My situation improved the last years when I had to care for my son and my partner (that suffered from depression in a different way). <br>Last year I moved here in Australia with my family so that we can stay closer to my partner’s parents and improve her situation, but after a few months she broke up with me and now I feel like I’m at the same point I started 9 years ago, plus the only people I know here are related to her. I spent the last five months just working and staying at home, without seeing anyone after work, except for my son when I got him the weekend. I’d like to change and find a way i can make friends and enjoy my life. <br>I apologise for my English as is not my first language. </p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-advice-on-mental-support/td-p/575649" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>firstly, you apologised for your English. I just want to tell you that you write very well!</p><p> </p><p>I can only imagine how isolating and difficult this season of life must feel for you. Moving to support your partner, only for the relationship to end shortly after. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>Be compassionate with yourself as you take small steps back into community. What sort of things do you like? Are there groups in your community that could join? (In my experience, creating new relationships takes time.)</p><p> </p><p>Your worth is not at all measured by your looks or perceived \"differences.\" You have so much to offer and there are people who will appreciate you for the caring father and partner you are.</p><p> </p><p>Wishing you patience and hope as you work to decrease isolation. Also listening if you want to chat some more.</p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-advice-on-mental-support/td-p/575649" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49196", "content": "I feel anxious most of the time and it's all used to be physical for me but now it's also emotional and as if I feel my brain is turning around or smh. Sometimes I'm feeling sad and even a little depressed. I've never felt like this weird unexplainable sadness before as I always being the most positive person. This really scares me, sometimes I can't even talk properly, my thoughts are raising so fast and I have slurred speech, which in fact gives me even more fear and anxiety. I just don't know how to stop feeling like this, relaxation techniques only work when I'm a little anxious but when I'm in a panicky mode nothing seems to slow me down. I even take medication and even tho I feel a bit more relaxed I still feeling on the edge like if I can't relax fully my fast thoughts and body sensations. Help, even writing this making me more anxious and weak and I don't like it...</div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/physical-anxiety-fear-of-dying/td-p/575746" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear M_A_~</p><p>Welcome to the forum. This sounds a most unpleasant, even frightening way to be however I'd suspect it need not be permanent.</p><p> </p><p>As somone who has an anxiety condition I found things much as you describe at times, even a visit ot a doctor seemed a defeat as I could not explain things slowly and clearly (which is why I ended up writing them down first).</p><p> </p><p>As you are seeing a doctor already do you think it is worth having a discussion with them about this? There may be a way of reducing these feelings.</p><p> </p><p>One thing I did find very helpful was a free phone app called <a href=\"https://www.smilingmind.com.au/smiling-mind-app/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Smiling Mind</a>. I have ot say it took a bit of practice using it but now afterwards my mind is a lot calmer and my thoughts clearer and slower.</p><p> </p><p>It contains a vast array of exercises, even for someone link me with the attention span of a goldfish. I\"m sure you would find one or more to suit you.</p><p> </p><p>I repeat however it is not something that has an instant fix, I practiced for a week before starting to get a reasonable benefit -and it improved more as I continued.</p><p> </p><p>Although the title of this is Fear of Death you have not really said anything about it so I'm a but stuck how to respond.</p><p> </p><p>Apart from medical assistance may I ask do you have anyone to give you support, particularly when you are extra anxious? Just someone to listen patiently and care makes a difference.</p><p> </p><p>If you would like to come back and talk more I'd be very interested in how you are going</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/physical-anxiety-fear-of-dying/td-p/575746" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi M_A_</p><p> </p><p>I can't help but wonder whether you're suddenly waking up to a lot of new emotions. If so, completely understandable when it comes to why they feel so foreign and overwhelming in some cases. I suppose a good example could involve waking up to 'being able to feel for others'. Sounds simple but can be far from it. It's like we might have been able to feel someone's sadness or stress in <em>basic</em> ways in the past (leading us to a sense of compassion) but all of a sudden it can be like the volume is turned up. Feeling a <em>basic</em> amount of sadness may have been no major deal in the past but when you can easily feel another person's <em>overwhelming</em> sadness, it can lead to feeling their sense of depression, hopelessness, desperation, incredible grief and overwhelm etc. Sounds a bit strange but it's not <em>our</em> sadness we're suddenly feeling, it's <em>theirs</em>. Same goes for stress or anxiety. You can be sitting opposite someone while no one says a word but still you can feel their stress levels as if they were your own.</p><p> </p><p><em>Feeling</em> hyperactivity definitely sets off the nervous system. Calming that activity down to be <em>less</em> hyper can mean having a <em>stack</em> of tools in our 'managing energy' bag of tricks. Could next level tools be the call of the day? For example, basic breathing techniques may not be enough in some cases. Next level breathing techniques learned within yoga could be the call. Basically, if emotion is energy in motion, 'How to manage, better define and better understand the energy that's <em>in</em> motion?' can become the question or the quest.</p><p> </p><p>Being a sensitive gal, I can relate to being able to <em>feel the</em> <em>speed</em> of my thoughts. A <em>breathtaking</em> speed in some cases which can definitely take your breath away (making it so much harder to breathe). A 'black smoke' meditation is something that I find helps me at times. If I imagine my thoughts are like a black smoke, I then imagine breathing them <em>out</em> (long exhausting breaths out through my mouth) until the imagined smoke gradually becomes clearer and clearer and my body starts to calm down (out of hyperactivity). Easier said than done in some cases, that's for sure. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/physical-anxiety-fear-of-dying/td-p/575746" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>TW HEALTH ANXIETY </p><p> </p><p>Ive only gotten covid once or twice. But lately I've been trying to overcome really bad anxiety and I live with a really really anxious mom.</p><p> </p><p>She is saying that the covid vaccine is bad and that covid is really dangerous which is scaring me as well as her which then scares me more. </p><p> </p><p>I can't stop worrying and panicking. I already got the covid vaccine couple years back. But I'm still scared of getting really sick or dying.</p><p> </p><p>Whenver I explain my fears to my family, they just say believe in God. I'm not religious and they don't know that, so it just feels like I have no one that understand how scared I am. </p><p> </p><p>I'm too afraid to read the news about australia and covid bc I don't want to get more anxious than I already am, but I also have an urge to read on it.</p><p> </p><p>What do I do? </p><p> </p><p>Does anyone have any tips for health anxiety and covid?</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/still-afraid-of-covid/td-p/575582" }, { "author": "user-id/1665", "content": "<p>Alel,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for posting here with us, we're glad to have you here.</p><p> </p><p>Fellow community member who suffers with health anxiety here, and I can tell you that a lot of what you're asking may be good questions for your GP. They may be able to ease your mind a little and talk you through your anxiety, helping to get to the root of what's the most distressing for you. </p><p> </p><p>I wouldn't recommend reading through the news too much if it'll cause you distress - in my experience, it doesn't help much. Ignorance is sometimes bliss, particularly with negative news stories and articles that are designed to cause distress and fear. Don't get me wrong, some articles can be good and contain accurate and up-to-date info, but a lot of current news can be really, really negative, and that's not necessarily good for your wellbeing long-term.</p><p> </p><p>Do you have any other friends or loved ones who you would feel comfortable talking to about this? Sometimes it can help to have somebody that shares your opinion and also has insight into your life and experiences. Social support is great for wellbeing and reassurance.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps, but please continue chatting with us if you'd like, we're here to support you.</p><p> </p><p>SB</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/still-afraid-of-covid/td-p/575582" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Alel</p><p> </p><p>covid is a hard anxiety to tackle I think we’ve all had that feeling ( I’ve personally had covid 7 times and never got really sick I worked in an industry that is extremely susceptible to it ,health anxiety is hard I have a few chronic illnesses and when covid first came to aus it was very scary along with all the lockdowns and stuff made it actually a lot worse for a lot of people) I personally don’t read the news,  no news is good news , if ur not religious  that’s ok it’s your beliefs and that your beliefs no one else’s. How to deal keep busy , avoid the news. covid is not really mentioned in the news anymore from the little snippets I’ve heard on the car radio Definitely seek counseling may provide some reassurance around the covid / health anxiety. <br>Try to live your life for the now don’t focus on the what ifs as they are the hard bits the brain running off and getting into over thinking . </p></div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/still-afraid-of-covid/td-p/575582" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49166", "content": "<p>I've lost all my friends over conflict &amp; no longer have the option of being friends with them again. I feel like I don't know how to make a new group of friends as I've always been comfortable with all I had and never really bothered with making more friends besides the ones I had. i try my best to keep my mind busy with other things but sometimes with stresses from running my business, studying fulltime combined with the feeling of loneliness can be frustrating. </p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-have-no-friends-how-do-i-cope-with-it/td-p/575631" }, { "author": "user-id/13121", "content": "<p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Hello Dear beny,</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">A warm and caring welcome to our forums,</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">I am so sorry your feeling of loneliness can be frustrating for you…</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">I can relate to the feelings of loneliness very well…it’s a horrible emotion to feel…</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">I think one way of finding friends is to try to connect with people with your interests or hobbies you like… music, literature, darts, sewing, model making etc…more then not like minded people usually have lots to talk about, and friendships can develop through similar interests/hobbies…</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Taking time out for yourself, from your busy schedule to just to sit quietly somewhere and absorb a bit of nature can be so healing for our overactive thoughts,  its a form of self care, that many people unfortunately overlook or can’t find the time for…but is so very important to our mental health….</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Friends come and go in our lives, true friends stay by our side even through conflicts.…I’m deeply sorry your former friends couldn’t find a way through whatever happened…</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">My kindest thoughts Dear Danny, with my care..</span></p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Grandy..</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-have-no-friends-how-do-i-cope-with-it/td-p/575631" }, { "author": "user-id/49194", "content": "<p>Hi Beny,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am really sorry that you are going through this and would like to reassure you that you are not alone. </p><p> </p><p>A great way to meet new people and build friendships is through different hobbies, like playing sport for a club, going for an art class or perhaps joining a dance class. With reference to friendship, It is a part of life to lose friends along the way, but at the same time, it is also a part of life to develop new friendships along the way. Furthermore, it is important to reflect and introspect on your emotions so that you are able to prioritise your mental wellbeing. Please ensure that you look out for yourself and practice self-care judiciously. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and process how this may have impacted you. Speaking to a family member about how you are feeling may be helpful. Please do not hesitate to seek further support.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps! </p><p>Take care,</p><p>Sarea.</p></div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-have-no-friends-how-do-i-cope-with-it/td-p/575631" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49170", "content": "<p>Hi everyone, I'm at the beginning of a med change after 15 years on the same medication. The last couple of weeks have been hell.  The mood the anxiety the worthlessness just seems so overwhelming. </p>\n\n<p>I have always been a go getter and this has floored me. At the moment preparing a meal, cleaning the house takes everything out of me. I worked a day last week and was bedridden for 2 days. </p>\n\n<p>I'm hoping I get some relief soon but feeling very nervous the new medication isn't going to work. </p>\n\n<p>I do hope you are have a day that will bring you some peace and happiness today.</p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggles-through-med-change/td-p/575646" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Belblu~</p><p>Welcome here ot the Forum, a good move on your part as if you look around you will find many others who have had a hard time changing meds.</p><p> </p><p>In my own case I've switched a fair few times before I found one that suited. Most times I had to \"tail off\" the old medication before gradually \"ramping up\" on the new one.</p><p> </p><p>Even though all this was done under medical supervision (which realy is a must) I found that even reducing the old drug started to bring on unwanted feelings and a resurgence of my depression and anxiety. Similarly before the new drug had settled down I could be all over the place, from incredibly overconfident to suicidal.</p><p> </p><p>I can well understand after all you have been going though you really hope the new medication works. It may take some time, however I'd strongly urge you keep in close connect wiht the prescribing practitioner and report how you are feeling each time you  do, htat way a picture can more quickly be built up of if there is improvement, and if so how much.</p><p> </p><p>If you  cannot get to your practitioner as often as you wold like seek their advice on how to record your feelings on a frequent basis, maybe via a journal or by an app for your phone. There may be one here:</p><p> </p><p><a href=\"https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/health-and-wellbeing-apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/health-and-wellbeing-apps</a></p><p> </p><p>I realy hope things improve for you soon</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/struggles-through-med-change/td-p/575646" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49165", "content": "<p>I’ve been really struggling with the fear of dying since moving to Australia from the UK. I never had this before then. I’ve had a lot of health issues since being here (nothing life threatening) but out of nowhere I will have these debilitating panic attacks where I feel like I’m going to die. It’s terrifying. I genuinely believe that I’m not going to make it home. I’m constantly Googling my symptoms, and body checking. I’ve become so hypersensitive to my bodily sensations. </p><p> </p><p>To make it worse, I witnessed someone who died in a motorcycle accident the other day where I was heavily involved (called the ambulance, checked for a pulse etc). I feel awful for him and his family, and I can’t help but feel that this has confirmed that I could just die at any moment. It probably sounds ridiculous and I know my partner doesn’t fully understand. I’m going back to the UK in a couple of weeks time, but even getting on the plane is scaring me in case something happens. I haven’t been able to get therapy due to not having Medicare or the money to afford it so feel it’s gotten worse.</p><p> </p><p>I guess I’m just trying to get my thoughts down and see if anyone has any advice, or has similar feelings to me? <br><br></p><p>Thanks so much in advance x </p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-in-fear-of-dying/td-p/575612" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi Louise1993,<br>\n <br>\nThank you for your post to the Forums and for sharing with us how you are feeling right now. Anxiety around health and/or illness is incredibly challenging to manage, but one of the most important steps is acknowledging it and seeking support.   <br>\n <br>\nIf you ever want to talk, please know that the Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you as well and you can call us on 1300 22 4636 any time if you feel like talking it through.   \n\n We’re sure we’ll hear from our lovely community here soon, but in the meantime here’s some resources and conversations on managing anxiety you might find interesting:  \n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Some strategies for managing anxiety</a>   \n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t This previous thread where community members shared some of their Beyond Blue’s <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">anxiety management strategies</a> <br>\n\t  \n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n Thanks again for posting here. It must have taken a lot of strength to share this, but you never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experience. <br>\n <br>\nKind regards,  <br>\nSophie M </div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-in-fear-of-dying/td-p/575612" }, { "author": "user-id/49182", "content": "<p>Hi Louise I have had fear of death many years and it’s particularly terrifying when getting on a plane, so I understand those intense feelings and how hard they are to manage. I think it’s amazing you were able to act so responsibly to the accident and that would have been a terrifying experience. I have variously used breathing, meditation, some meds, prescription and herbal and had counselling. This has helped to some extent. Anxiety is so prevalent at least we can talk about it these days and recognise it as a common human condition. All the best xx</p></div>", "date": "02-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/constantly-in-fear-of-dying/td-p/575612" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49050", "content": "<p>Hi everyone,<br><br></p><p>Struggling to come to terms with having eye floaters. I’ve had them for about a year now (30yo) and my anxiety hasn’t gotten any better as they progress/change. All doctors say my eyes are healthy and they’re apart of life but it’s all I think about every second of the day. I’m becoming lonely and slowly isolating myself from others. I don’t like to go outside in fear I’ll see them. I’ve been back/forth with doctors but as I’m young, there isn’t any treatment. I just want to return to my happy self and not focus on them all day long. </p></div>", "date": "20-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-eye-floaters/td-p/574863" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello AnonymousOtter &amp; welcome to the forums.</p><p>Have the doctors explained what the floaters are, how &amp; they come to be?</p><p>As someone who has had problems wit eyesight since I was born, &amp; having operations on each eye when I was young, I developed a few floaters. These are bits of scar tissue which is literally floating within my eyes.</p><p>When I was little, I played with them, trying to catch them in my central vision &amp; stop them moving. Of-course, I never succeeded.</p><p>My Ophthalmologist has explained that there is no way they can be stopped in that way. They cannot be held still in the centre of my vision because that would mean they would have entered my pupils. That is simply not possibl because of how the eyes are structured. He also told me they will never cause any harm &amp; to remove them would actually be very risky &amp; inevitably cause more harm than simply leaving them alone.</p><p>They have changed over the years, too, just moving about &amp; their position is different makes me see them as if they have changed. Nothing ominous in that either.</p><p>They are not infections or disease. they are quite common.</p><p>If having regular eye examinations helps you feel less anxious about them, that's okay, but try to see how long you can stand to wait until another examination. For people with healthy eyes, while young, you could wait for at least a couple years between examinations.</p><p>But, if there is a family history of having eye problems, especially when young, then I'd advise you to get advice about that. The floaters though, is not one of the conditions people with strong family histories need concern themselves about.</p><p>Because the doctors have said you don't have an eye problem, I'd also suggest seeing your GP about finding someone who can help with your anxiety about your eye floaters, because isolating yourself isn't a good long-term solution &amp; may cause problems all by itself.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "20-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-and-eye-floaters/td-p/574863" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48707", "content": "<p>I am having severe vertigo problems since 2 months. It always feels like I am floating &amp; walking on marshmallows. Every single day it’s the same. I first started having these when I had a severe panic attack. It stopped for few months, but it again came back. I don’t know what to do. Has anyone experienced something like this before? Or does anyone have any solutions on how I can stop this vertigo. It is affecting me very badly. I went to the gp twice but still no hope. I am scared to get a MRI since I don’t know what will be the result &amp; my health anxiety is making it worse. </p></div>", "date": "25-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/vertigo-caused-by-health-anxiety/td-p/573084" }, { "author": "user-id/36888", "content": "<p>Hi Ayu! I get floating and marshmallow feelings from anxiety too. I really like how you describe the feelings. It's very accurate. I think it's maybe a common and normal anxiety symptom. For me, it is isolating to feel like that, 'cause I feel uncomfortable around others, and so I stay by myself. When I feel this way I drink water, because dehydration can make it worse. Did the GP have any suggestions? There are breathing exercises you can learn to help with it too I think.</p></div>", "date": "25-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/vertigo-caused-by-health-anxiety/td-p/573084" }, { "author": "user-id/48866", "content": "<p>This is my first post in this forum. Because I feel like I have to answer this. I got serious vertigo in 2021 caused by severe anxiety and insomnia. It lasted one week and I couldn’t go to my 1 month new job. I had to lie about the reasons. By chance I started to practice standing on one foot with both of your eyes closed right after the vertigo was gone. At the beginning it was very difficult - I could only hold 2 seconds. But I persisted in doing it and could do it 10 mins each foot after 2 months. This really helped to overcome the vertigo. I still had nearly the same level of anxiety and insomnia for about two years. As soon as I felt the vertigo would be coming I practice that special skill. To prepare for it I still practice now and then, make sure that I can hold at least two minutes on each foot. I hope this helps others in the same boat.</p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/vertigo-caused-by-health-anxiety/td-p/573084" }, { "author": "user-id/2952", "content": "<p>Gosh I'm relieved to find this post! I know exactly what you mean by floating and walking on marshmallows. For the last two months I've been describing it as lightheadednes and the feeling of walking underwater.  I had significant inner ear issues as a child so I've been through the gamut of appointments and tests including an MRI. I've just found out it's all clear and I actually cried because a part of me was hoping they'd find something tangible to treat. Now I have to accept that it's an anxiety response (and if I'm honest I was starting to suspect that was the cause because the dizziness increased ten fold each time a stressful event happened). I'd really like some help with this issue as well but I'm at least relieved to know I'm not he only one with these symptoms. </p></div>", "date": "19-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/vertigo-caused-by-health-anxiety/td-p/573084" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p><span>I panic during hot weather because I experience anxiety symptoms and then my overthinking and panic makes my anxiety even worse. I have a fear of fainting, vomiting and dizziness. So hot weather is the worst. It's also really hard for me to go to sleep and stay asleep. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>Are there any tips for anxiety during hot weather or summer? Please.</span></p></div>", "date": "16-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-hot-weather-and-summer/td-p/574588" }, { "author": "user-id/48885", "content": "<p>Hey Alel,</p><p>I totally get this too. Since I started taking medication for anxiety it has only gotten worse. <br>although I have limited experience, here are some things that I do:</p><p>- always keep a cold drink with me (like a thermos of ice cold water)</p><p>- anti nausea medications from the pharmacy </p><p>- don’t put as many sheets on your bed</p><p>- this is a weird one, but laying on tiles floors if you get the chance</p><p>- always stock up on Icey poles </p><p> </p><p>these aren’t super helpful but i thought it would be helpful to know that you are not the only one. <br>S x</p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-hot-weather-and-summer/td-p/574588" }, { "author": "user-id/44313", "content": "<p> </p><p>Hello Alel,</p><p>Definitely incorporate stell_a178's suggestions as they're for sure some good ways to keep your body cool. I'm not a fan of summer, my anxiety makes me sweat already and adding intense heat to the mix isn't going to be a good time. Hot weather is super anxiety triggering. I just want to breathe!!!! You definitely aren't alone.</p><p> </p><p>Summer bedding will help keep you cool, and if you still struggle and it's really bad you could go see your GP as well. Not being able to sleep is the worst and anxiety inducing, so they may be able to offer you some quality of life. Worth a shot if the heat keeps you up!</p><p> </p><p>It's really unlikely that you'll faint if you're panicking as well since our bodies are programed in a way to keep us awake in case we're in danger, stay hydrated and I'm certain you'll never faint and I don't think you have to worry about throwing up either.</p><p> </p><p>Hope this was of some reassurance. We will prevail!</p></div>", "date": "19-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-hot-weather-and-summer/td-p/574588" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/27786", "content": "<p>Hi all being an introvert, I struggle mentally to readapt. My productivity was at its best during the covid period but now, I really struggle with crowd and in person distractions at work.  Most of the time, I just want people to leave me alone as I just want to get the job done and go home! Not sure if there are others out there who feels the same?  </p></div>", "date": "16-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/post-covid-readaption-anxiety/td-p/574618" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Dear ThomasJakeLim,</p><p>Yes, I completely understand where you are coming from. I like working on my own and find I am easily distracted by others. Some people are people focussed and some are task focussed. You and me are the latter, I feel. If someone talks to me when I'm working, I continue to work, often not even making eye contact. Others think that this is very rude but that's not what I intend.</p><p>So TJL, are you able to find a work from home job or can you explain to your work colleagues how it is for you? You seem to so very hard working that you must be a valued employee.</p><p>Please keep posting on this forum to let us know how you are doing. Other introverts like us may join in and give us some advice. Also, I have found writing useful to clarify my thoughts.</p><p>I wish I could be of more support and hope this helps a bit.</p><p>Warmest regards,</p><p>Richju</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/post-covid-readaption-anxiety/td-p/574618" }, { "author": "user-id/48885", "content": "<p>Hey Thomas,</p><p>I’m 20 and I totally feel the same way. I went through some of the most developmentally important years of my life isolated from everyone and we can’t expect that to not have an impact. Going from seeing no one or hardly anyone for two/three years to having to migrate back into work and daily life is insanely difficult. I completely forgot how to socialise and talking to people can become tiring so quickly. So no, you’re not the only one! And it is more common than you think <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> I hope you are doing ok!</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/post-covid-readaption-anxiety/td-p/574618" }, { "author": "user-id/27786", "content": "<p>Hi Rich</p><p> </p><ul><li>Thanks for your sharing thoughts and time to help. It is good to know I am not alone. It is hard for introvert to thrive in a world that calls out for extrovert personalities. Just got to find a career that that does not conflict with my personality.</li></ul></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/post-covid-readaption-anxiety/td-p/574618" }, { "author": "user-id/27786", "content": "<p>Hi Stell</p><p> </p><p>Thanks so much for sharing. I am glad I am not alone.  Least I now truly know the environment that brings out the best in me.</p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/post-covid-readaption-anxiety/td-p/574618" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48603", "content": "<p>Hey folks</p><p> </p><p>Yeah look just anxious about going back to work, all just based on the fact couldn't catch up with someone yesterday. Just cos of medication side effects like really what else does that have to say, to mean its not personal to this person? I dont get it and now it will spiral and become a big thing- where I'm the perpetrator, and they're the victim. As is always the case with me, even when looking to avoid confrontation to the point of avoiding emotions aha. Which to get back on the point of this section of the forums- does cause anxiety</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxious-about-going-back-to-work-copping-a-big-whack-from-people/td-p/574663" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hi Guest 1282</p><p> </p><p>Welcome and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forums. Im sorry for the delay in you receiving a reply. I hear you loud and clear no worries. </p><p>Ive had anxiety disorder for a long time and understand what you are going through. Going back to work can be difficult especially when people are making it difficult for you.</p><p> </p><p>If its okay can I ask how your anxiety is at the moment?</p><p> </p><p>The forums are a rock solid safe and non-judgmental place for you and everyone to post </p><p> </p><p>my kindest always</p><p> </p><p>Paul</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxious-about-going-back-to-work-copping-a-big-whack-from-people/td-p/574663" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Guest_1282</p><p> </p><p>Human nature is definitely an interesting thing, that's for sure. I've found, through experience, I can tell the truth (such as 'Sorry I couldn't catch up, as I was having a bad day') and watch the truth run its course through a variety of human natures. The truth will run it's course through the people who prefer fascinating gossip and high emotion because they thrive on it. It'll pass amongst people who recognise the truth when they hear and feel it. It'll pass through people who might even relate to it, with them saying 'Tough days are definitely bad, hey. I can relate'. The truth can also run through a group of people who just don't like to listen to good reason, the kind of people who like to say 'No excuses'. Such people can lack compassion and an open mind. Once the truth runs its course, it will have come into contact with a variety of people. One way I've come to see things is...I'll put the truth out there and simply observe how different people react to it. You could say it's an exercise in observing human nature. I'm a gal who finds the easiest people to relate to are the ones who can sense the truth when they hear it. Such people often have the greatest level of compassion and are typically open minded and non judgemental.</p><p> </p><p>Far easier said than done at times but I find it much easier to emotionally detach at times, from <em>feeling</em> other people's judgement, when I go into 'observer mode'. I'll throw something out there and observe what people do with it. Btw, if you want something to get around a group of people as fast as possible (such as the truth), tell it to the person who's <em>nature</em> it is to spread it like wildfire. If you want everyone to know it,<em> don't</em> tell it to the person who's <em>nature</em> it is to keep it a secret. Those 'wildfire' kinds of people can be handy in some cases.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, sometimes it's enough to simply and confidently <em>know</em> the truth and keep it to our self. Whatever works. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxious-about-going-back-to-work-copping-a-big-whack-from-people/td-p/574663" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry you are experiencing some anxiety about going to work. As Paul said, the forums are a safe space for you to post on. </p><p> </p><p>For me, anxiety is usually triggered by something, and then spirals, as you say. Once I can identify the trigger and understand why I am experiencing anxiety, I can usually think about how to get myself out of it. However, I only learned how to do this with the help of a psychologist. Are you seeing anyone about your anxiety (e.g., a doctor, psychologist, or mental health professional)?</p><p> </p><p>Jaz xx</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "18-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxious-about-going-back-to-work-copping-a-big-whack-from-people/td-p/574663" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49008", "content": "<p>I feel utterly Useless about myself when it’s comes to my parents. <br>\nBack in the day, when I was a child, around teenagers years, struggling to school, making friends, or even do anything because of my father had S*xually abused me and my mother didn’t understand nothing, didn’t protect me and said to me to be quiet about it ( which I didn’t , I went to tell my friends and ended up with the Child protection services). </p>\n\n<p>after a long journey of fosters homes and more homes, trying my best to be a normal person. <br>\nWent to tafe &lt;struggling&gt; </p>\n\n<p>went to Oasis Army course &lt; struggling&gt; </p>\n\n<p>Had variety of jobs &lt; struggling &gt; </p>\n\n<p>But I did learned many things about life and humans d<br>\n<br>\nIn one of those teenagers years and until now in my 20s , I had enough courage to connect back with my families again. <br>\nI thought everything would’ve been okay, they will understand me, the pain I’ve been through. <br>\nHowever, I came to the understanding that my younger sister had also been unsafe with my father. I was shocked and burst out cyring. I requested my older brother to protect my sister and he went to my mother regarding this. My mother however was not supportive and instead blamed me for being a black sheep and breaking up the family.</p>\n\n<p>She’s apologised to me what has had happened in the past.<br>\nshe said if I still want to call her “mother” then I can’t be talking about these things with my sister again or else she will disappear along with my sister. And never let me see them again. </p>\n\n<p>Other thing my mother said to me, I have to forgive my father, and if she wants to see him, it’s not my business, and she’s promised me to protect my sister. Plus also stop being depleted and depressed about the past. <br>\n<br>\nshe also mention, that she feels like I want her to die because I’m taking her husband away. I AM THE ONE that DESTROYED the family. everything was my fault. <br>\n<br>\nNow I have no idea what to do, I’m trying my best to cope and learning with my depression for years, I feel guilty about talking protection with my sister. </p>\n\n<p>in the end, I’m the black sheep of the family that made everyone stressed out because I cannot get past my past and wanting to protect my sister in my way is wrong for my mother. <br>\nI think I should stop talking to my family in general. But I’m being honest, I don’t know what to do. </p></div>", "date": "16-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/guiltrip-from-my-parents/td-p/574631" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi ShennyChavez</p><p> </p><p>When I read your post I could not help but feel what an incredibly powerful person you are. Chances are what makes you 'the black sheep of the family' comes down to how powerful you actually are <em>in so many ways</em>.</p><p> </p><p>So many of the powerful abilities you hold: The ability to feel compassion, the ability to feel the need for serious change, the ability to speak your truth, the ability to feel the rage that comes with injustice and neglect, the ability to feel the selfishness or self service of other, the ability to open your mind, the ability to rise to challenges (even the seemingly impossible ones) and <em>that</em> is just a portion of a seriously long list of abilities or powers you have. One thing I have found in common over the years is the black sheep of the family typically has the ability to <em>sense</em> or <em>feel</em> what is there and this is what leads them to be so sensitive in deep and intense ways. On the other hand, <em>i</em><em>n</em>sensitivity is definitely <em>not</em> a super power.</p><p> </p><p>There are some people who like to lead us to suppress or dismiss what it is we have the ability to sense or feel and you really gotta question that, <em>seriously</em> question it. With you father, you have the right to question 'Why were you too weak to control yourself? Why were you too selfish to seek help so that others didn't have to suffer?'. I imagine you would have so many more confronting questions that he <em>should</em> be answerable to. You have a right to question everything you feel the need to question. And with your mum, you have the right to question her too, throwing some seriously tough and confronting questions her way. I'm a mum myself and I couldn't imagine <em>any</em> reason what so ever I would have for letting my kids suffer in such incredibly painful, mind altering and life changing ways. There is just no valid reason for justifying such incredible sufferance and abuse.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps you'll find your direction through taking your sister aside and questioning <em>her</em>. Asking her things such as 'How much have you suffered? How angry and/or sad are you? If I could change your life, how would you like me to change it? If I could grant you any wish, what do you wish for the most?'. You have the power to grant just about any wish. Not only are you the most powerful person in <em>your</em> life but chances are you are in <em>her</em> life too. If it's of any help...I have come to see guilt as a call to greater consciousness and that is all it is. It calls into question which path we will choose to take. For me, I see guilt as a sign post that <em>demands</em> I make an uncomfortable choice. Perhaps in your case, the choice is between 'Service/loyalty to parents' or the one that reads 'Service/loyalty to others (including yourself and/or your sister)'.</p><p> </p><p>You are such a beautiful, courageous, incredible, amazing and powerful person, something I feel deep in my heart and the heart never lies.<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/guiltrip-from-my-parents/td-p/574631" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Shennychavez</p><p>I saw your post last night &amp; I needed to think &amp; sleep before replying.</p><p>Your experience brings up memories &amp; thoughts about my own past.</p><p>What gripes me is how you were dealt with, as though you were the problem &amp; trouble in your family, not someone in need of actual care &amp; support.  You were treated as if <em>you</em> were guilty of a crime, when your father ought to have been arrested &amp; charged.</p><p>You have nothing to be guilty about. You have done nothing wrong. You didn’t break up your family - your family was broken by your father, by his behaviour which undermined one of the most important foundations for any healthy family. Your mother’s blame &amp; rejection of you is the other betrayal of both you &amp; your family. For your family, that’s where the trouble lies.</p><p>When you told your friend, that was you trying to put an end to all that trouble.</p><p>Sadly, how, in families where abuse is severe &amp; there needs to be an intervention, it’s the child victims who are treated like problems to be removed. The system that supposedly ‘cares’ for you is broken. You are further damaged in that system. It upsets me to know it’s as bad as ever &amp; I’m sorry you went through that as well as what your parents put you through &amp; how you are regarded as a ‘black sheep’ for speaking up about the harm done to you, &amp; your sister.</p><p>I tried letters to my father &amp; brother, &amp; only got excuse in return.</p><p>My family remains broken. My father is dead now, but that doesn’t make anything better. I struggle to talk to my sis. It’s so hard to feel the bond &amp; connection we had before I was a teenager.</p><p>I realise I can’t fix what happened, can’t make anyone understand what they won’t even try to.</p><p>I can do something about how I think &amp; feel about the past &amp; how I am in the world, now. For me, I found a therapist.</p><p>One thing you might do is to be someone your sister can turn to. Let her know you will be there for her anytime.</p><p>This is your time, as an adult, to learn how to look after yourself, to give yourself the care &amp; compassion you didn’t have from other people around you.</p><p>You don’t have to face this all on your own or take decades to, if you can find a therapist of some sort now.</p><p>Shennychavez, well done. Sharing your story couldn’t have been easy. That takes courage, which you have, courage &amp; strength &amp; a deep caring heart as well. Your words will mean so much to many people, not just me.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "17-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/guiltrip-from-my-parents/td-p/574631" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/30349", "content": "I'm 29 years old and have recently been diagnosed with epilepsy.  \n<p>My first lot of seizures were nocturnal and only happened during my sleep. I had restricted driving instructions to only drive during certain day time hours and to keep well rested. I was.seizure free for 6 months before having my first day seizure last week with only my 1yo niece and 7yo daughter with me. Lucky I was at home, but I can't forget how scared my daughter was or becoming conscience and having paramedics standing over me. She should never of had to deal with that, to call 000 and care for her crying 1yo cousin. I'm so scared of putting her through that again. I also fear having a seizure at the shops, or on the train. I'm too scared to go anywhere alone with the kids. </p> \n<p> </p> \n<p>And on top of that, I've lost my license so feel a loss of independence and I can no longer take my kids to their gymnastics or swimming classes. I feel like I'm letting them down. My 7yo says she understands, but it hurts her and there isn't anything I can do.  The sports centres aren't accessible by public transport.</p> \n<p> </p> \n<p>My husband is a big help....when he's Home. He works away for a few weeks at a time. He is looking for a local job, but until then he has to work.</p> \n<p> </p> \n<p>I'm hoping someone here can give some advice on helping me deal with my fear of having seizures. Thankyou.</p></div>", "date": "14-04-2014", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-epilepsy/td-p/63466" }, { "author": "user-id/8236", "content": "<p>dear Axete, I understand exactly how you feel, as I have general tonic seizures, which are the worst, and from what you have described you may have the same.</p> \n<p>I can feel so much for your daughter and niece, because watching a seizure this bad must be so frightening not only for them, but anyone else.</p> \n<p>I used to fall through windows and glass tables until my doctor changed and increased my medication, and as I am a big chap with big bones I am now on a heavy dosage of anti epileptic medication.</p> \n<p>Did this just happen or is it in the family genes, as mine was from an assault, hit from behind by a couple of bikies.</p> \n<p>If you are not medicated properly you never know when you may have a seizure, and if you do have general tonic fits, then you won't know where you are, or even the year when you wake up, and it also makes you so tired.</p> \n<p>A blood test will be able to tell the doctor if the medication is at the right level, however I do realise that some people still have fits even when medicated, so I am very curious to hear back from you.</p> \n<p>If you are medicated and still having fits then the doctor can change the medication, but head-aches and dizziness can also be a problem, which I suffer from both.</p> \n<p>Hope you can reply back to us. L Geoff. x</p></div>", "date": "15-04-2014", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-epilepsy/td-p/63466" }, { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>hi anette</p><p> </p><p>I also suffer with Grand mal epilepsy and bipolar and I suffer like you with seizures. I also can't drive due to my epilepsy. I have a great exercise plan and I eat right and take medication. You must not be afraid it will be oright it took a long time for me to come to peace of my condition but I finally accepted my condition. I know it seems like an impossible journey to face but I know you can over come adversity with the support of your family.</p><p> </p><p>Have a wonderful day!!! </p></div>", "date": "24-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-epilepsy/td-p/63466" }, { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>Good morning </p><p> </p><p>I wanted to say I totally empathise with you because I was diagnoed with epilepsy at 11 years of age and I totally understand the fear. I say why have fear when you have hope and not to worry with the right medication and advice you can live a normal life . I will share with you that I can never get my licence due to my epilepsy but that doesn't stop me I focus on the gifts I have been given and what I can do not on what I can't do.</p><p> </p><p>You must build a positive mind set and self talk and say to yourself I am going to walk up this mountain with the support of my community. When I had my first seizure I was 11 and there is great fear but you have to beleive in yourself and try to remaain positive. The things that help me are cycling, meditation, reading, healthy diet and most importantly medication</p><p> </p><p>We don't choose our condition but we choose how we face our adversity. Always remember your inner strength and power and resilance you have. I totally understand your path and I have hope that you will be oright just try and find the right medical supports in place.</p><p> </p><p>You must do activities that help and bring you peace and calm.</p><p> </p><p>Remember you are surrounded by love and people who want to take care of you and support you so never fear because the beyond blue community is here to guide and support you</p><p> </p><p>Hope and love are always more powerful than fear and I beleive in you that you will be able to face this difficulty and overcome it.</p><p> </p><p>Look to the support of family and friends and the wider community for love and support and I promise you will be fine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "16-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-linked-to-epilepsy/td-p/63466" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi,</p>\n\n<p>I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife.</p>\n\n<p>A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma from having been bullied and abused as a child over many years, and I've got 25 years of therapy trying to have a normal life. I'm still today struggling with social anxiety and I'm painfully conflict shy. I wouldn't dare to try to fix a wrong order at Maccas.</p>\n\n<p>After two years of mostly verbal abuse (trees, bushes, our chickens, anything he doesn't like) it culminated last Wednesday with him assaulting me in my driveway (tree dispute where he doesn't like councils' decision). Reported it to the police, of course, but i'm concerned not much will come of that unless he attacks again. I now live in constant fear of waiting for when he'll attack next.</p>\n\n<p>The incident last week has left me completely destroyed. My neighbour has always been aggressive and abusive, to everyone in my household and people visiting, to council and others. And now I'm shaking like a leaf, afraid to be in the house, to be outside the house, to come and go, I can't sleep without hefty pills, and I'm on two different anxiety meds just to stay upright. It's been over a week, and I feel I'm losing it.</p>\n\n<p>So my question is; what to do next? I've done all the obvious things, police, council, lawAccessNSW, seeing psychologist, GP, but no one can do anything. We've talked about selling, but a) that's hard on the kids, and b) unfair to those we sell it to. Abusive neighbours are perfectly allowed to be abusive, it seems. And I'm running out of strength, this anxiety and the very thought of having to live with this is just so overwhelming. Has anyone had to deal with something like this?</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>I've had a it of a setback last week; anxiety attacks and general dread, but I think I know why; we had to have a roof guy in to fix the pointing on our roof (leaks after the big storms we've had lately), and part of that is to wash the edge tiles, including tiles that are on the side of the house facing my bad neighbour. I think I basically was worried about any sand or dirt landing on his side of the fence, enough to trigger my anxiety this bad.</p>\n<p>Anxiety really is a step forward and sometimes two back. Hopefully I'll return to a fixed rate soon.</p></div>", "date": "03-05-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt</p>\n<p>That's good that you can pinpoint the triggers and reasons for your fears. You could actually say that you're far more conscious than your neighbour. He sounds more reactive whereas you sound proactive, productively exploring why you feel the way you do. Would be so much easier sometimes to be completely thoughtless and only choose to feel how <em>we </em>want to feel but then we'd run the risk of being someone like your neighbour and who wants a world filled with people like that, reactive and self serving.</p>\n<p>I imagine you pretty much know everything that will trigger your neighbour. In other words you probably know him better than he knows himself. Imagine being bold enough to wake him up to how serious a problem he's got, 'Dude, do you realise how easily triggered you are? Do you think you should see someone about that? Do you recognise how unconscious you are?'. I do believe that would get his back up a little <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> Wonder whether his wife is on the same page as you or whether she's on the same page as him. If she's a fairly timid person, it would be hell living with someone like her husband. Is he raising his kids to be narcissists or is he someone who regularly says to them, when they're trying to express themselves, 'I don't care, you'll do as you're told' or 'I don't care, don't talk back'? 'I don't care' is a terrible mantra to throw at a kid on a regular basis.</p>\n<p>It's hard to do and can take a bit of practice but becoming a predictor or people's triggers can put us in a place of objectively observing them. What I mean is, taking the roof tiles as an example, if you can predict he'll react aggressively <em>observe </em>his behaviour, out of curiosity. Does he act like an animal, 'fluffing himself up' to appear bigger? Does he stand in an attack pose, like a guard dog faced with a threat? Does he spit as he speaks? How does his tone or volume shift?</p>\n<p>Perhaps another thing to watch out for is...are you a bit of an empath? Do you feel for others or feel how others feel? For example, if someone's deeply saddened by an event, do you <em>feel </em>their sadness as if it is your own? Do you feel a heaviness in your chest while feeling 'choked up' on the verge of tears? If you <em>are </em>like this, chances are you're feeling your neighbour's anger. You're not just feeling how <em>you </em>feel, you're also feeling what <em>he's</em> feeling. That's an overwhelming amount of feeling. 'That's <em>your </em>anger, not mine and I'm not getting involved in that' can be one way of cutting an emotional chord.</p></div>", "date": "04-05-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/45216", "content": "<p>Hi Shelterlt,  Sorry to hear you are living next door to these people. be assured that you are probably a better person than this guy and you ought to ignore and see him as being quite pathetic and crude. Do try to let him know that you want him to keep his distance. Keep a journal of when and what he does and let authorities know how he is abusive.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-11-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/48997", "content": "Hi ShelterIt, I wanted to share my experience.I am an adult survivor of abuse, and my early life experiences affect me every day.2 years ago an elderly male neighbour approached me offering to mow my footpath verges.He offered a price, I accepted in good faith.The price changed halfway through the job.He wanted cash only. I paid him to get rid of him and firmly told him I would ask him if i wanted the job done again.He and his wife, who had kept to themselves for two years before that, reverted to keeping to themselves.Until a year later when the male mowed the verges uninvited, then knocked on my door to tell me he had done me a favour and that I could give him some cash if I had it - or to think of it as an ‘early xmas present’.He returned twice while I mulled over my next steps.My father was a bullying, mysoginist and abuser.By this time I knew what I was dealing with and that something about both these people wasn’t right.I was not comfortable about the uninvited mowing and felt pressured and slightly manipulated.So I approached him while he was at the rear of my property after the 3rd (uninvited) mowing, offered him the cash he asked for for the first univited mow and firmly told him as I had the year before I would tell him if I wanted any help with the lawns.His response was to tell me I owed him $150 (cash).Extortion isn’t my thing so I firmly and loudly so neighbours could hear to let him know that wasn’t the agreement at all.His response was ‘I’m salt of the earth I am.’ In my experience salt of the earth types don’t tell you they’re salt of the earth types.Given the amounts of cash he was demanding now amounted to several hundred dollars.I’d tried to be a good neighbour all the way through which is why i accepted his initial offer the year before. I recommended him to my immediate neighbours next door.The nightmare began from there.He became firm friends with the neighbours next door and is over there all the time sometimes without the owner’s knowledge,very close to my living spaces,while I am home and close by.He’s been spoken to by Police 4 times in 12 months and they think its odd he keeps peristing.I kept all this to myself until a cpl months ago when other things started to happen.I wanted to be sure I wasn’t imagining or overreacting so it wasnt until 4 males tried to get over my fence one night that a female Police officer told me I should talk to my immediate neighbours about security.I did and finally told them I had had problems with Salt of the Earth.(By now he had started trespassing on my property, and continued after 2 firm warnings).When i asked him why and what he was doing, he would apologise.After being verbally abused by him as he passed me one weekend morning, he approached me with his wife, crying, saying ‘the cancer was back’ and that was why he called me names while I was sitting in my car on the street minding my business. (This act was after he had again been spoken to by Police). The immediate neighbours by now have been convinced by this person of bad character that he is a victim. This is while I have stopped using my front door, stopped gardening in view of him, stopped driving along the street where he can see me. The Police advised me to get a Protection Order, as did DV experts I consulted. He has exposed himself to me (very subtly) and a friend. He has abused me and villified me to near neighbours, and likely others in the community as well. If I could move I probably would have by now, but instead I am standing my ground. I have invested thousands in security screens and cameras, and privacy film for windows. I have changed my behaviour significantly. As a survivor I know protection orders can incite and escalate perpetrators like this. He is a perpetrator. An order is still an option because this is an attempt at coercive control. Luckily I have survived these types amd I will continue to. I make sure I inform my close trusted friends who are conscious people of every incident. I document. I get legal advice. I will not be intimidated. But ShelterIt, it is real and unique and not well understood by services yet that abusive neighbours can attempt coersion.I’ve had to muster enormous strength to understand I am not at fault and don’t attract these types because of anything I do or have done.My approach is to stay the course and be grateful for this perpetrator for helping me empower myself even more.I pity him and his wife and know that his life experience has made him who he is.It’s a stunning day outside.I’ve been triggered this morning, so I felt compelled for some moral support so searched ‘how to deal with abusive neighbour’. Your post came up and drove me to post this. I fear I could be identified. Bit I won’t be deterred by this. Thank you for your openness and post. </div>", "date": "16-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi,</p>\n\n<p>I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife.</p>\n\n<p>A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma from having been bullied and abused as a child over many years, and I've got 25 years of therapy trying to have a normal life. I'm still today struggling with social anxiety and I'm painfully conflict shy. I wouldn't dare to try to fix a wrong order at Maccas.</p>\n\n<p>After two years of mostly verbal abuse (trees, bushes, our chickens, anything he doesn't like) it culminated last Wednesday with him assaulting me in my driveway (tree dispute where he doesn't like councils' decision). Reported it to the police, of course, but i'm concerned not much will come of that unless he attacks again. I now live in constant fear of waiting for when he'll attack next.</p>\n\n<p>The incident last week has left me completely destroyed. My neighbour has always been aggressive and abusive, to everyone in my household and people visiting, to council and others. And now I'm shaking like a leaf, afraid to be in the house, to be outside the house, to come and go, I can't sleep without hefty pills, and I'm on two different anxiety meds just to stay upright. It's been over a week, and I feel I'm losing it.</p>\n\n<p>So my question is; what to do next? I've done all the obvious things, police, council, lawAccessNSW, seeing psychologist, GP, but no one can do anything. We've talked about selling, but a) that's hard on the kids, and b) unfair to those we sell it to. Abusive neighbours are perfectly allowed to be abusive, it seems. And I'm running out of strength, this anxiety and the very thought of having to live with this is just so overwhelming. Has anyone had to deal with something like this?</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/22470", "content": "<p>How are you going now? Did going away help? I really relate to how you are feeling, despite our reasons for it being completely different. So I'm really hoping you are feeling better.</p>\n\n<p>My psychiatrist said that strong anxiety can not be helped well with medication. The only medication that can really help only work for a short time. They are also addictive....</p>\n\n<p>I use  medication and therapy. The therapy should help reduce the anxiety enough the medication can help more. Your GP should be able to prescribe medication.</p>\n\n<p>Try deep breathing and other anxiety calming strategies.</p>\n\n<p>Have you thought about renting your house and then moving into a rental in your area? This might be an option for you to decide how to solve your problem and give you time to work on your mental health.</p></div>", "date": "18-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>ShelterIt, </p>\n<p>I am so grateful that you have continued to keep us updated, it has been a little while since your last post so I wanted to check and see how you are doing! </p>\n<p>We are here for you </p></div>", "date": "18-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi all,</p>\n\n<p>Sorry for the low response, I've taken 1.5 weeks off without a computer to try to reset, and have just returned. There's mainly two updates / insights;</p>\n\n<p>I'm going through PTSD trauma therapy, it's ongoing and is useful for understanding both the situation and myself, but not so much for reducing anxiety. I think the major insight for has been that my trauma is more linked to the feeling of being alone and helpless more than any violence angle, which explains the ongoing triggering my neighbour incurs. I've got ADD with a strong sense of justice and fairness, and *that* has shaped my trauma more than the incidents; there was no justice around me, no one could help, so all my anxiousness (and now probably depression) comes from fairly common human issues but amplified to trauma through ADD. I have for most of my life (and still to this day) had problems with recurring nightmares that always had a strong supernatural non-physical theme. I now realize that this is a manifestation of the same trauma; an invisible, hard-to-define but powerful force that controls my surroundings, and I'm helpless to get away from it.</p>\n\n<p>The other insight is just realizing how much of me has been shaped by my ADD, in particularly how hard it is to find friends and people like me in the odd anti-emotional mono-cultural Australian society, and that I have gone through a grieving process of letting go of all those people as I left my home country (Norway) for Australia some 15 years ago. This probably is a larger consequence for my depression (that now has been super-charged) than I realized.</p>\n\n<p>I'm still a mess, but I've got good days and bad days. The anxiety attacks have receded into a reality of continuous dread, not sure if that's better or worse. I'm now only on anti-depressants (the common kind) and as long as I can live this way, it's a path forward. I've been a practitioner of meditation my adult life, and maybe that's helping me, breathing and counter-focus, etc, and I use philosophy for all its worth in finding (at least) intellectual understanding underneath it all.</p>\n\n<p>Thanks all for the support and getting back to me, I do appreciate it.</p></div>", "date": "19-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt, </p>\n<p>Thank you so much for keeping us updated because we really do care about you here! </p>\n<p>You brought up a very important point about PTSD trauma therapy and how it has been useful for you in understanding yourself however it has not reduced your anxiety. I have heard that whilst processing during therapy (especially trauma related) it can be a very challenging and vulnerable process to go through! I really hope in time though that when you have processed everything in a safe environment that your anxiety does lessen. Although from what you have written I can understand that it is quite complicated given your insight about ADD feeding into the trauma experiences but I really do hope that trauma therapy helps you to understand and hopefully dissipate this link. </p>\n<p>I'm so sorry that you have felt as if you are in a continuous dread, how has being on the anti-depressants been for you? Has it been helping this feeling? You seem to have a lot of insight into yourself, I believe that aligns also with your knowledge of philosophy so I truly hope that this helps you on the journey!</p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "25-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/1705", "content": "I'm is an almost identical situation. I was foolish enough to be friendly to a neighbor that was the local hero of the region for being a fire-fighter chief. - he abused a situation in 2020 and then extorted money out of me. I've been told hes on the council and last week Ive received an abatement notice stating I got to fly down to Tasmania <strong>this</strong> week and mow grass or get a $3,500 fine + the councils fees. I don't even know if i can get down there because of shifting covid laws. For me its extortion and torment 24/7 since i got the note. I'm thinking the australian broadcasting corporation(or prince harry) could help but this is a hope/despair crisis. And NO-ONE wants to start a fight with \"The corruption behind the issued compliance\"/the law.</div>", "date": "25-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt</p>\n<p>Sounds like you're making some progress through the PTSD therapy which is great. I think the challenging part about gradually waking up to how things played out up to this point is...some of it can be naturally depressing. So, it can be kinda like we're waking up to a lot of potentially depressing factors in order to make our way through and out the other side of depression. For example, someone could be asking themself 'Why do I feel so weak, worthless and depressed?'. Gradually a therapist gets to the bottom of things to reveal no one in that person's life cared all that much about them when they were young. They may be led to recall many of the comments that led them to the conclusion that they're weak, worthless and a 'waste of space who will never amount to anything'. That's dark and depressing stuff which can trigger overwhelming sadness. Can even get to the point where that adult can be left grieving for the childhood they wish they'd had. At the end of the day though, it's a gradual wake up call to see how the incredibly destructive faults were in the people<em> around them</em>, not <em>them</em>. They can even be led to feel incredibly proud of how they managed to make their way through into adulthood through such an obvious <em>lack </em>of constructive guidance and the soul destroying behaviours of others. In other words, they've raised themself a lot of the time, even in childhood. </p>\n<p>I wish the experts would focus more on the incredible abilities of those diagnosed with ADD, ADHD and those on the autism spectrum. There are some absolutely <em>incredible </em>abilities there. Problem is, sometimes it can be hard to find your tribe of the same kind of folk, who hold the same abilities. For example, just say we're 'a feeler', someone who feels so much. If you report to people in the mainstream stuff like 'That person brings me down/depresses me or that person stresses me out to the point where I can physically <em>feel </em>the stress they put on me and the depressing feelings they lead me to' and people can say 'You're too sensitive'. Find your tribe and each member may say 'You can feel that too? I thought it was just me. Doesn't it feel horrible. What the heck is wrong with the people who lead us to feel stress and depression. They're seriously messed up'.</p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "26-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi again ShelterIt</p>\n<p>Had to run, drive my son to school <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p>\n<p>That tribe factor: The people we best vibe with can develop us in a way where we can learn to live largely without a doubt. They're real self esteem boosters. As a group you may all agree 'We're not going out to dinner there, that place has a depressing feel to it. Where not going here, all the staff have a really angry vibe to them. Definitely not going there, the patrons there are generally highly selfish, thoughtless and seriously triggering'. So you know it's not all in your head that you feel these things because others are feeling them too. One of the things about ADD, it's challenging when you can <em>feel </em>boredom or disinterest to the point where you're on the verge of going to sleep or to the point where the fly on the wall beside you is far more fascinating than anything else. Stick a kid in classrooms for more than a decade and teach them stuff in the most uninteresting way possible and then expect them to focus. Almost impossible. Get a teacher who knows it's boring and therefor makes it more exciting and <em>that's</em> a game changer. Get a brilliant teacher who tells a kid with ADHD, who struggles with managing hyperactivity, 'Go run around the school and come back in 5 mins with less energy so you can learn' and that's also a game changer. Or get a teacher who recognises how hard it is for some kids to focus <em>beyond </em>their imagination and they'll teach that child <em>through </em>their imagination. </p>\n<p>All 3 of those scenarios point to abilities</p>\n<ol>\n <li>The ability to recognise or feel what's boring and tune out from it. When it comes to that fly on the wall - the ability to study the finer and fascinating details of nature</li>\n <li>The ability to channel enormous amount of energy</li>\n <li>The ability to learn and channel through the imagination. The imagination's a powerful thing we can't afford to lose. Highly imaginative people throughout history include Nikola Tesla, Elon Musk, Leonardo Da Vinci, Martin Luther King Jr and so on. All visionaries <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> Actually, Musk created a private school (Ad Astra), having referred to mainstream schooling, from his experience, as 'torture'.</li>\n</ol></div>", "date": "26-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi,</p>\n<p>&gt; I really do hope that trauma therapy helps you to understand and hopefully dissipate this link</p>\n<p>Oddly, I'm not too hopeful about that, but that possibly speaks to having too much info and knowledge about ADD, trauma, and my own situation. Dealing with trauma / PTSD is much easier if you can pin it to specific incidents, but these more blurry long-term affectations are harder as they become an import part of who you are, part of your identity. It's not easy to categorise and choose embedded traits, unfortunately.</p>\n<p>&gt; how has being on the anti-depressants been for you?</p>\n<p>The truth is, I'm not sure. I've been on them before, and I've never been that affected by them. I think I fall into the category of taking them as a precaution (better safe than sorry), but they don't really change my situation as much as, say, doing intellectual work does. By that I mean, I can be anxious with or without medication ad only think about what makes me anxious, but the anxiety will dissipate more if I sit down for an hour and write down how I feel and how I plan to deal with it. That's the kinaesthetic part of dealing with anxiety that has more effect for me than mere discovery work. We know from tons of experimental data that putting a physical spin on a mental exercise help us bond to the solutions we think we need, and things like EMDR is exactly based on that premise.</p>\n<p>I think the ADD link is the most prominent at the moment, and I'm going through my life linking in negative and positive traits and experiences to that at the moment. This understanding certainly helps, even if it does not remove the anxiety, at least not completely. But also, I'm half-way through the therapy series, who knows what will happen next? I'll keep you posted.</p></div>", "date": "26-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>&gt; they've raised themself a lot of the time, even in childhood</p>\n<p>Spot on, and very important; people with ADHD (or any ASD) develop a whole forest full of coping mechanisms, some good, some bad, and it's often a miracle if they turned into a person who doesn't struggle in life in some way. It seems the hit rate on that is fairly low, for all of those reasons you mentioned, the lack of understanding and support for people who have a different cognitive and mental mode of operation. </p>\n<p>I hate that we're often talking about these things with \"mental health\" or \"on the spectrum\", indicating that these things are classified as an issue for *the person* as opposed to for *society* as a whole, but I guess we have to start somewhere. Being on the spectrum signifies a difference, for sure, but shouldn't signify that the difference is a *problem*. I think this is why it became a problem for me; I was tagged as the one with issues, probably from my reactions to the bullying (anger, mostly), so I was sent to a psychologist for years rather than the people doing the bullying. I, even as a child, recognized that I was not the problem they were looking for, but felt, again even as a child, that my opinion on the matter wasn't taken into account (because experts were involved, I assume).</p>\n<p>Luckily it was a new expert that came in and made me feel I was being listened to that *actually* resolved the bullying situation, so at least I don't have issues associated with that (experts) as much as a more systematic problem (both in terms of systems as well as knowledge).</p>\n<p>&gt; I wish the experts would focus more on the incredible abilities of those diagnosed with ADD</p>\n<p>Agreed, there's tremendous potential in there, when promoted and cared for in a world of understanding. The time I've \"wasted\" on trying to fit in, trying to deal with a world not designed with me in mind, is mind-blowing! And I know I'm definitely not alone. I'm seeing a lot of good representation these days, so there's been a ton of good progress over the years (the support my kids got compared to me is tremendous), even though there's still a lot of work that needs to happen to bring that support and understanding into the world, especially the educational world.</p>\n<p>I also recommend everyone go see Hannah Gadsby's special \"Douglas\" on Netflix, it's the funniest and truest and loveliest and most awesome ASD representation ever! I cried and laughed at the same time through pretty much the whole thing, truly amazing.</p></div>", "date": "26-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "There's toxic people out there. For us ADD people that's a difficult pill to swallow, sometimes outright impossible to feed back into our model of reality, causing a lot of anxiety that neurotypicals don't understand at all.</div>", "date": "28-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi,</p>\n\n<p>I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife.</p>\n\n<p>A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma from having been bullied and abused as a child over many years, and I've got 25 years of therapy trying to have a normal life. I'm still today struggling with social anxiety and I'm painfully conflict shy. I wouldn't dare to try to fix a wrong order at Maccas.</p>\n\n<p>After two years of mostly verbal abuse (trees, bushes, our chickens, anything he doesn't like) it culminated last Wednesday with him assaulting me in my driveway (tree dispute where he doesn't like councils' decision). Reported it to the police, of course, but i'm concerned not much will come of that unless he attacks again. I now live in constant fear of waiting for when he'll attack next.</p>\n\n<p>The incident last week has left me completely destroyed. My neighbour has always been aggressive and abusive, to everyone in my household and people visiting, to council and others. And now I'm shaking like a leaf, afraid to be in the house, to be outside the house, to come and go, I can't sleep without hefty pills, and I'm on two different anxiety meds just to stay upright. It's been over a week, and I feel I'm losing it.</p>\n\n<p>So my question is; what to do next? I've done all the obvious things, police, council, lawAccessNSW, seeing psychologist, GP, but no one can do anything. We've talked about selling, but a) that's hard on the kids, and b) unfair to those we sell it to. Abusive neighbours are perfectly allowed to be abusive, it seems. And I'm running out of strength, this anxiety and the very thought of having to live with this is just so overwhelming. Has anyone had to deal with something like this?</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Thanks. We're looking at your option 1 in combination with security camera, if I get brave enough to go out there and install it. The other options are tricky or not doable.</p>\n<p>I've talked to Adult MH team services today, they can hopefully get me some acute help. AVO can't happen without mediation, which I'm now incapable of doing, so that won't happen. It's incredibly hard for mental health sufferers to find people willing to champion you. Support is one thing, but knowing the system, knowing the processes, it's all beyond me, I've only lived in Australia for 15 years without the need for serious help like this before. I still don't know what to do. My wife wants me and her to take the dog for a walk, and even that fills me with dread as I have to go out there. I'm so tired of this, there seems to be no end to it.</p>\n<p>Thanks for listening, though. I'm trying to keep it together. Maybe this is going to sound nuts, but I've built a little cubby house in the spare room downstairs, out of pillows and mattresses. It's oddly calming to sit in there. I'm wondering if this is what I did back when I was a kid all those years ago, and if it had the same effect.</p></div>", "date": "20-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt, </p>\n<p>I am so sorry, it's so hard when there are terrible neighbours because we may love our homes but we can't pick the ones who live next to us. I am really sorry to hear how this has been impacting you. </p>\n<p>I can see you are trying your best to work through this and find solutions and process everything. Personally my family built a tall fence around our property and it really helped to increase our privacy and my comfort to be outside! Especially since I couldn't really see into the neighbours properties anymore and hence they couldn't see into mine. I really hope that you find this comfort too if this is what you end up doing. </p>\n<p>Your cubby house situation sounds like a safe space, I think all of us have a certain place in our homes that really gives us comfort! </p>\n<p>Please keep us updated I really feel for you. Also please continue reaching out to the mental health services because your wellbeing is so incredibly important. </p></div>", "date": "24-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi, and thanks for following up. It's been ... hard, and getting harder. I've done all the right things, GP, referrals, and also the community MH team, just to talk to someone who can help me medically with the most urgent issue of ongoing anxiety attacks. I've had online sessions, and I went into the community MH center and did a health evaluation, still waiting for someone to actually talk to me in a professional capacity. I feel like I'm in a Kafka novel. I've seen my GP thrice, he's the only one who's trying within his capacity to do something, anything, even though it's the usual small batch of anti-anxiety and long batch of anti-depression meds.</p>\n\n<p>I've \"solved\" my ongoing attacks for now by living in my car down by the harbour, third night tonight. I'll try to come home little by little. My marriage is of course very strained at this point, she's trying her best. I come by for things like driving our son to school, so that's a way to slowly get back to dare to live in my own house again.</p>\n\n<p>The battle to just see a psychiatrist these last 17 days (and counting) has been nothing short of astounding. If I was suicidal or violent I would get help pronto, but because I'm just a meek computer nerd who studies philosophy, I'm rewarded with nothing but red tape and \"nothing we can do.\" I don't understand how this is possible, what happens to people less on the ball than I am? What happens when they hit the wall and need acute attention? Is running screaming through the ER the only solution? I've never felt so let down by the system as I do now. I thought I was on top of my PTSD, and have never had a history with the MH system before, but this incident shows me that maybe I shouldn't be smart and brave and try to stay on top of things?</p>\n\n<p>I'm now on various waiting lists (earliest official date is in June!!) to see someone with an acute anxiety issue. The irony and personal devastation of that statement is beyond perplexing. I'm waiting on a list for telehealth options, no guarantees. I'm waiting for the community MH team to get back to me with more than \"see your psychiatrist again, because we don't know anything about my medication (which I use in a very small dosage)\" despite that I told them he's unavailable until June (travelling) in both the initial phone call *and* the MH assessment. I feel like I'm being pranked.</p>\n\n<p>Anyway. I'm giving up on the system. Living in the car, building a wall, slowly coming back. I'll let you know how it goes.</p></div>", "date": "25-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi ShelterIt,<br>\n<br>\nThank you for updating us here. It sounds like an incredibly hard time. You've been making some amazing steps towards getting support. We're sorry it doesn't always feel helpful, that would be really isolating and frustrating. <br>\n<br>\nYou mentioned staying in your car. We can hear that isn't ideal. Is there anywhere else you could stay while you figure out a plan for getting back home? It sounds like it could be really worth speaking to our Support Service about this. They may be able to help you to plan your next steps, and they're also lovely to speak to, even right in the moment of distress. The <b>Beyond Blue helpline is here for you on 1300 22 4636</b>, <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">or on webchat here</a>. Please remember you can talk to<b> Blue Knot about this on 1300 657 380</b>, every day between 9-5 (AEST). Their counsellors are really happy to talk through complex trauma and the impacts this situation is having.<br>\n<br>\nIt’s really good that you could share here. As the conversation above shows, this is a truly supportive, safe and non-judgmental space.<br>\n<br>\nKind regards,<br>\n<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "25-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi there,</p>\n<p>Thanks for the concern. Please don't interpret me living in the car as a negative, it's a lovely car that has been my safe space for many years I used to do field research and the car is quite capable of being both comfortable and practical. I also live down by the harbour which is about 10 minutes from my house, my wife knows where I am, and we agree that this might be the best short-term solution. And, indeed, my anxiety is quite reduced to the point of not taking any meds for that part of it (apart for sleeping). The rest is more long-term planning and dealing with the onset of depression. </p>\n<p>Sometimes being homeless is an actual answer, especially as I live next door to a trigger. My disappointment with the public health system is something else, and if nothing else, maybe my big mistake was to think that there are system solutions to peripheral problems, like people like me. I do wish I could see someone about the immediate psychiatric issues, but I think the best thing I did was to jump in the car and take charge of my inner problems myself and not worry so much about what others might think of it.</p>\n<p>Hopefully I can return home in a couple of days, if not fully, then at least soon. And hopefully I will find some long-term help with the PTSD (looking at both CBT and EMDR), hopefully next week will see glimmers of hope.</p></div>", "date": "25-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/22470", "content": "<p>Your quote about \"running through the emergency\" is exactly what I said when I was at my lowest in Dec/Jan. I was desperate. Couldn't function but you only get treated when it's really bad. I ended up getting an ambulance and was in a mental health ward for a week. Couldn't stop shaking. They finally took me seriously when they saw what my body was doing to me. Still, you get kicked out of help as quickly as possible.</p>\n\n<p>To me, your problem has an easy solution, just move. Don't feel guilt about it. Other people may be able to deal with the situation better. I had an abusive step father growing up and I know how to deal with bullies. However, you will never 'fix' the problem. It is his personality, just as you have your own. The other option is: does he rent or own the house? If he rents, find his real estate agent and complain. Kick him out.</p>\n\n<p>There is a solution to this problem. You need to find it. Run through different scenarios and find one that is acceptable for you. You can not go on as you are. Mental health services will not help as much as you are hoping until you find the long term change.</p></div>", "date": "26-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi, and thanks for your reply. Yes, I agree, I shouldn't feel guilty about whatever solution can be come to. It's hard to simply move as we bought and moved into our dream home about 12 years ago (and yes, our neighbour owns his newly built house), and we still have kids in school in the area (and buying in this area is crazy hard at the moment; it's one of those areas featured in the news as having surpassed Byron Bay in terms of prices and popularity ... *sigh* we got in a long time it became any of that <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> )</p>\n<p>I still have got no help from the system, not the police, not the community MH team, no one, I'm still in shock as I a) never ask for help (and probably won't ask again), and b) I'm asking for so little (just to see a psychiatrist). I'm booked into one around mid-May (which is about 4 weeks too late, but I'll take what I can get).</p>\n<p>I've found a clinic nearby that offer various CBT and EMDR dealing with trauma, and I'm going there today, which means I'll try to deal with at least the long-term part of it. I'm running out of anxiety meds at the moment from the GP (and they won't extend it until I see a psychiatrist; again, I'm living in a Kafka novel), and I don't know what will happen when I run out in a couple of days. I've been home a couple of times, slowly easing my way back. A 24/7 camera is installed (with sound), and I carry an extra video camera plus large stick at all times, but I can only handle a few hours at a time.</p>\n<p>I'm also looking into how high a fence I'm allowed to build out front; that's the main source of the trigger right now, so I'm hoping out of sight (and out of shouting distance) might help, too. That is, if council are willing to help.</p>\n<p>I'll keep you posted, and thank you all for replying to me, even though it's really, really hard to find actual solutions. I really feel for people who end up in situations like this that aren't as on the ball as I am. I only suffer from anxiety from specific triggers, I can't imagine if your triggers are wider or less defined, it must be hell. I try to stay positive, usually by staying away from the front of the house (even though my bedroom window looks down on the crime scene). I'm still shaky as I write this, and I'm not even at home (working in the car).</p>\n<p>Thank you, all.</p></div>", "date": "28-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt, </p>\n<p>I am so sorry to hear that the waitlists for psychiatrists and to see a mental health professional in the mental health capacity is so long. In these times I really feel for you that you have to wait because I can understand how much you want and of course need that support. You mentioned finding a CBT and EMDR clinic nearby, were they able to see you? CBT and EMDR can be extremely helpful to process trauma symptoms, I hope that you were able to get in and that you also find it to be helpful. I am going to be honest though I have heard that it takes time to use the tools you learn and to integrate them into your life. </p>\n<p>I really hope you can build the fence out front as well! I personally could imagine that I would be more comfortable if I didn't have to see the neighbour. </p>\n<p>Please keep us updated, I wish I knew exactly what to say to comfort you but I am very grateful that you have kept us updated here so that we may support you in the way that we can </p></div>", "date": "31-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi, and thanks for that. I don't know what to do, either, I feel quite distressed by it all, as you can imagine.</p>\n<p>I've done two sessions so far targeting the PTSD, still very much in the discovery part of it. Nothing much new here, except maybe that it has shaped me beyond all the things I already knew it had shaped me. Bloody brains and their complex nature and chemicals and whatsnot.</p>\n<p>I at least live at home again after living in the car for a while. We're now a month later (tomorrow) and I still haven't seen a psychiatrist. The community MH team was friendly but absolutely useless, I'm still in shock over that one, especially since I'm out of any meds that helped (and the GP can't give me more, because, uh, rules?). I'm now surviving through a 24/7 camera on my driveway, carrying a large stick, and self-medicating on alcohol for sleeping. It's madness that it has to be this hard for honest people in distress.</p>\n<p>My anxiety attacks are further apart (although I had one yesterday), and I have fallen into a steady anxious livable but tough life; every day I wake up with my innards in turmoil, it's a bit like fearing the day. It's not an intellectual thing, pure emotional response, I can't even pinpoint what causes it, there's nothing specific I think of. It's now just there. I try to befriend it in a hope of calming it down, but it it's resistant so far. Hard to think well with it.</p>\n<p>I'm about to leave for another state for a week or so, hopefully that will be a way to calm things down. Hopefully the return won't be too hard for me, but I'll update on that when we get there.</p>\n<p>Thanks for all thoughts so far. It's still very hard to get out of bed in the morning, and hard to not get straight into it after dinner (not to mention hard to try to even make dinner). It's tough not to feel like I've lost, that I shouldn't be this fragile. But I also know the scars run so deep, I have nothing to be ashamed of. Hopefully the only way is up. </p></div>", "date": "05-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt</p>\n<p>I'm a gal who absolutely loves philosophers, people who just love to wonder about so much. Technically, philosophers are <em>naturally </em>wonderful people (<em>full </em>of wonder). </p>\n<p>Do you ever seriously wonder why your neighbour's insane? Personally, I see <em>you </em>as being someone who is highly sensitive to the insane behaviour of others. The fact that you've dealt with people from your past whose mentally challenging behaviour has left you feeling everything, from your thoughts through to your nervous system (so intensely), triggers me to fury. How dare they lead <em>you </em>to do all the hard work when it comes to managing <em>their</em> nature. If they were more conscious, you wouldn't have to so carefully manage your own nervous system. Others can be such hard work.</p>\n<p>Wondering if you have anyone in your life that you know who would be happy to have somewhat of a holiday in your house for a little while. Perhaps a relative who you get along well with who'd like to come to stay. Such a person would have to be someone who knows how to manage a bleep like your neighbour. Perhaps they'd actually love the challenge, maybe even thrive on it. If anyone like this comes to mind, perhaps they're the type to engage your local MP who will work to look into council based neighbour disputes. Maybe they're the sort of person who won't hesitate in phoning the police <em>every single time</em> there appears to be a threat or a breaking of the law. The police will get sick of them calling, maybe to the point of doing something. Maybe they'd be the type of person to start a petition amongst neighbours that will lead the local council to begin taking this more seriously. Maybe your wife's up for the overall challenge. Maybe her seeing you suffer through all this will lead her to no longer tolerate it.</p>\n<p>With that 'fight or flight' response, we're either left shaking with fear or shaking in fury. Either way we're shaken up. The difference is mindset. You can find people who've spent so many years shaking in fear of those with questionable mental health issues (whether they be bullies at school or bullies next door). Then, one day, something changes in an instant. When asked 'How did everything change?' their response is something like 'I just couldn't take one more day of being treated like poop by someone so <em>lacking </em>in consciousness'. </p>\n<p>You deserve so much better from all the people who should be acting as upstanders, not bystanders. Their efforts are <em>seriously </em>not good enough. Wish I was there for you <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "05-04-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Hi,</p>\n\n<p>I live in a small coastal town, lived here for 12 years. 2 years ago a couple moved in next door, both real-estate agents. I'll only mention the man, as I've never talked to his wife.</p>\n\n<p>A bit of context here is that I suffer from LPTSD and trauma from having been bullied and abused as a child over many years, and I've got 25 years of therapy trying to have a normal life. I'm still today struggling with social anxiety and I'm painfully conflict shy. I wouldn't dare to try to fix a wrong order at Maccas.</p>\n\n<p>After two years of mostly verbal abuse (trees, bushes, our chickens, anything he doesn't like) it culminated last Wednesday with him assaulting me in my driveway (tree dispute where he doesn't like councils' decision). Reported it to the police, of course, but i'm concerned not much will come of that unless he attacks again. I now live in constant fear of waiting for when he'll attack next.</p>\n\n<p>The incident last week has left me completely destroyed. My neighbour has always been aggressive and abusive, to everyone in my household and people visiting, to council and others. And now I'm shaking like a leaf, afraid to be in the house, to be outside the house, to come and go, I can't sleep without hefty pills, and I'm on two different anxiety meds just to stay upright. It's been over a week, and I feel I'm losing it.</p>\n\n<p>So my question is; what to do next? I've done all the obvious things, police, council, lawAccessNSW, seeing psychologist, GP, but no one can do anything. We've talked about selling, but a) that's hard on the kids, and b) unfair to those we sell it to. Abusive neighbours are perfectly allowed to be abusive, it seems. And I'm running out of strength, this anxiety and the very thought of having to live with this is just so overwhelming. Has anyone had to deal with something like this?</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi ShelterIt,<br>\n<br>\nWelcome to the forums. We can hear it's been a really difficult time, but please know that you're in a really safe space for sharing here, with a lovely community of kind and understanding people.<br>\n<br>\nIt sounds like it's really having an impact on how you're feeling day to day, so please know that there’s always someone here for you to talk it through with. <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">The Beyond Blue counsellors are available 24/7 online, here.</a> If using the phone would be difficult for you, you can reach them via webchat or email:<br>\n<br>\nWe’re sure we’ll hear from our lovely, supportive community soon. In the meantime, here’s a few things you might like to look at:\n<ul>\n\t<li><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https://blueknot.org.au/survivors/survivor-self-care/\">Blue Knot’s advice on self-care for survivors of trauma and abuse</a></li>\n\t<li>It's really important to be kind to yourself through this, so there's <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/three-self-care-things-you-did-today#qxsVaHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">some tips for practicing self-care here.</a></li>\n</ul>\nWe are here to support you and you are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing here. Please feel free to share a bit more and let us know what is going on for you, and what might help, if you feel comfortable.<br>\n<br>\nKind regards,<br>\n<br>\nSophie M</div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/24780", "content": "<p>Hi ShelterIt, </p>\n<p>I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through this. I wish I knew exactly what to say to comfort you. </p>\n<p>I can't imagine what you are going through because even when my neighbour was aggressive about cutting down trees I was so anxious about them knocking on our door. </p>\n<p>I wish your neighbour could see how much their actions have affected you. I am worried they don't sound like empathetic people at all. </p>\n<p>I'm so sorry I don't know exactly what advice to give but I hope that others will respond here. </p>\n<p>I hear you though, I want you to know you are not alone </p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Thanks. I guess part of my issue here is that I've been doing quite well over the years, I thought I was leaning towards a normal life, I've been able to reflect and forgive and all that. After all, it was mostly kids (within some span), and one can understand the context better.</p>\n<p>But this is an adult man with two little kids, and my emotions are going haywire! It's as if I'm right there back again, and I can't shake it. If it was some random guy somewhere, I might fare much better, but I have to live here. This is my home, our house, which has gone from being a dream to being a nightmare.</p>\n<p>Yes, I wish people could understand more about the psychological aspects of, well, everything, but this guy cares nothing about people or feelings or nonsense like that; he cares about macho ideals (what he says) and expensive cars (what he drives). </p>\n<p>I'm not sure how I can live with this hanging over me? This is one of those moments when I wish I wasn't me, which is hard to say. We live with our trauma and issues the best we can, of course, but ... some days I wish I was someone else.</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "At the moment you have a real 'monster under the bed' where it occupies your mind whether or not anything is happening.<br>\nDo you know how to shake that?<br>\nYou take a deep breath and stick your head under the bed to see it for what it is...<br>\nIn other words, find out precisely what is bugging your neighbour and sit down together to reach a compromise - what is he willing to contribute to facilitate the outcome, and how far can you go to meet his expectations?<br>\nIf you have council approvals then the issue isn't yours but his, so in this regard you will be trying to help him (but I'm pretty sure he will expect you to do all the work yourself!).<br>\nNegotiation is the key here and respectfully standing up to bullies usually puts them back in their box. Also consider having someone with you for support (witness) to keep things civil and try to remember its all about the <em>issue</em>, not you personally.</div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>Thanks for that, but I don't think this monster is the normal kind. As I wrote in a letter (seeking professional help elsewhere); \"I need some actual advice on what to do, what my avenues are. There is no \"talk to him\" or \"mediation\" or even \"call council\" options here.\" We understand the underlying issues are his, with the tree, with a dislike of the type of people we are (I'm a small guy who keeps to himself and works with computers and studies philosophy) or whatever, it's through council and our opinion hasn't even come into it. But we're the manifestation of the things that stands in the way of what the monster wants.</p>\n<p>He's a person with very, very different values from me, there's no middle ground from which to have any rational way forward, or even compromise on. Unless we all agree that even though I like my tree, it needs to be chopped down because he wants it chopped down? It's not like a compromise where we can prune it; he wants it gone. (pruning it *was* our compromise, but that's not enough, no matter what the law states) By that token it's a human problem, not one of laws. The law and council and everyone agrees on what the facts are and how things should be. But he doesn't like it. I don't know how to compromise with \"doesn't like it\"?</p>\n<p> That's a huge part of why I'm so anxious; the monster is irrational, selfish, and aggressive, and treats us as a problem instead of people. We're considering chopping the tree (even though we love it), were considering selling the house and move (even though it's our dream house), we're considering all these rather drastic things because he is a bully that's used to getting his way through his aggression. It's not right, but it may still happen.</p>\n<p>I'm still a mess, I don't think I've cried this much in years, I haven't felt this awful in, oh, 40 years. I certainly feel let down by the societal structures that seems to enable people like this to abuse people around them and get their way. It seems very unfair that the little guy has to suffer, especially those of us who already have really hard internal struggles on top, who don't fit the stereotype of \"she'll be right, mate\". If anyone have any good ideas, please let me know, I'm going insane.</p>\n<p>It essentially boils down to this question; has anyone dealt successfully with anxious trauma that's triggered by living next to a monster (that will continue to be a monster, no matter what)?</p></div>", "date": "18-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Unless you had the tree physically transplanted onto your property in the last two years, there is no reason to chop, sell, or relocate - your neighbour had made an informed decision to purchase based on their own enquiries (as any estate agent would recognise) and has no authority to demand action from you.<br>\nIn fact, the purchase price may have reflected this very obstacle to his favour.<br>\nYes, people are allowed to be abusive, but are also accountable for their actions. As such, I would be inclined to increase video surveillance of your property to protect your interests and, in your own small way, take a stand against injustice.</p>\n<p>I do know the feeling of conflict with unreasonable parties, and the anguish that accompanies confrontation - yes, it is gut wrenching and painful. I choose to measure the short term cost over the long term suffering and fight for what I believe in.</p></div>", "date": "19-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "<p>I don't really want to make this about rules and how awful the neighbour is, there's tons of stuff we could report on him but hasn't (loud outdoor speakers playing music all the time, air conditioner running all night 15 db over the limit, unhinged 2am parties with fighting, same with his unhoused pool pump, two years of verbal abuse and threats, because, well, we're just normal nice people trying not to poke a bear. People often say we should report these things, but as far as they mean well, they don't live here, they're not being abused and assaulted by him. We've stayed clear of him as much as we can. This tree situation is just the thing that brought me right back into trauma with him taking it to the next level of abuse. And yes, the tree was he before we bought here 12 years ago. And yes, legally and technically he's in wrong on so many things, including the tree he got rid of.</p>\n\n<p>But my real problem is that there seems to be no support for people who have to live next to abusive people at the best of times, and now what when it's a person with PTSD and trauma who can't walk outdoors of his own house without meds and anxiety attacks? What can I do to just live? In my own house? Without shaking anxiety? Is the answer simply more meds and hope he isn't outside his own house (the thought alone makes me go and hide, I'm peaking out from curtains just to get to my car, it's so exhausting), and if you can't do that forever, move?</p>\n\n<p>There's great suicide prevention services around, and support groups like this one is great, but I'm just not coping at all. Can anyone think of something for this situation? My trigger lives next door, every day, every hour, and I don't know what to do. Is the answer to sell up? Is that the only answer?</p></div>", "date": "20-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/9461", "content": "Oh, and thanks for your reply. I do appreciate it. I'm just feeling so lost. So thank you.</div>", "date": "20-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Yep, we all need to make allowances for people living their own lives; and often the behaviour alludes to a deeper sense of unfulfillment in life which is compensated by overbearing and arrogance. I actually feel sorry for people who are this insecure and unhappy in themselves.<br>\n<br>\nI hear what you are saying about support, but without a 'solution' you may be patching over the cracks. This brings it back to you to address the problem with something to ease the distress if not eradicate it - \"<em>if I have a sore leg, I can cut it off\"</em> is not always the ideal outcome!<br>\n<br>\nMight I suggest a few final options? <br>\n<br>\n1] a high fence (within council guidelines) between your properties to put your 'problem' out of sight if not mind;</p>\n<p>2] hedges and garden beds to 'physically' distance yourself; </p>\n<p>3] <span style=\"font-size: inherit;\">a strategically placed garden shed to buffer invasive noise/disturbence;</span></p>\n<p>4] double glazed windows; </p>\n<p>5] reflective window treatment; </p>\n<p>6] a water feature for enhanced serenity, or design a private courtyard;</p>\n<p>7] smiling at your neighbour and offering kind words without altering your stance (to convey that he does not reside in your head and his intimidation is in vain).<br>\n<br>\nIncorporating some or all of the above might restore a degree of harmony to what is clearly an unpleasant situation.</p>\n<p>No need to feel ungrateful, you are dealing with much stress and I know how tolerance can be diminished under such circumstances. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span> </p></div>", "date": "20-03-2022", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/falling-apart-abusive-neighbour/td-p/14093" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Although I gained my counselling qualifications last year, I haven't had much work in private practice and would like to work for an organisation before my skills dwindle. </p><p>On Friday I had an online interview, where the questions come up on the screen and you are recorded as you answer them. I found it stressful and feel I shared too much of my life experience.</p><p>You see, I'm seventy-two years old and I know it sounds ridiculous to be starting a new career at my age but I'm fit snd healthy and I have had enormous life experience. Unfortunately, I don't have the confidence to match it and I have trouble with negative thoughts although I meditate regularly and try to practise mindfilness. At times, I despair of ever finding my niche yet my strong determination keeps me going, even though I often fail.</p><p>I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem but when I defuse my thoughts, I feel empty just like I did when I first gave up smoking. I try to keep busy and exercise regularly but find I'm always staving off depression.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/43202", "content": "<p>Richju</p><p>As someone close in age to you I admire your determination.. </p><p>I have given up starting a new paid job after my shop was destroyed in black summer fires and am volunteering .<br>I think confidence is hard att our age as many people make assumptions about us. <br><br></p></div>", "date": "13-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Hi Maisy Nina, I was so sad to hear about your Maisy Nina Angelina. I'm sure you miss her dreadfully, just like I miss my Mighty, who had to be euthanised as well. I would like another pet but we don't have adequate fencing here and I'm out much of the time. However, the beautiful Misty from upstairs pays me regular visits.</p><p>Thank you Maisy Nina for your continued support and encouragement. You are the friend I would love to have.</p><p>Richju xxx</p></div>", "date": "14-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Although I gained my counselling qualifications last year, I haven't had much work in private practice and would like to work for an organisation before my skills dwindle. </p><p>On Friday I had an online interview, where the questions come up on the screen and you are recorded as you answer them. I found it stressful and feel I shared too much of my life experience.</p><p>You see, I'm seventy-two years old and I know it sounds ridiculous to be starting a new career at my age but I'm fit snd healthy and I have had enormous life experience. Unfortunately, I don't have the confidence to match it and I have trouble with negative thoughts although I meditate regularly and try to practise mindfilness. At times, I despair of ever finding my niche yet my strong determination keeps me going, even though I often fail.</p><p>I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem but when I defuse my thoughts, I feel empty just like I did when I first gave up smoking. I try to keep busy and exercise regularly but find I'm always staving off depression.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Richju &amp; welcome</p><p>Well done, completeing your studies. At 72, I'm sure you understand getting a job won't be easy, even though there is a great need for more counsellors &amp; therapists of all sorts, out there. There are people waiting months to see someone.</p><p>I hope they give you a call call/email or whatever it is they do, and at least give you some constructive feedback about the online interview. Personally, wanting someone with counsellings skills, I'd want to talk to them, see how they interact with me, get some idea of their listening skills, too. </p><p>I would think a lifetime of experience would count towards something. Over the years you have certainly learned a lot about being resillient, you've learned to solve problems, &amp; when you feel down, you know it is a mood that won't last forever. Keeping busy, doing regular exercise, using your mindfulness &amp; meditation techniques certainly can feel as if treading on a mill, just keeping ahead of the depression, maybe just distracting yourself in the moment, but the way I se it now is that I am (by doing similar things), I'm keeping any moment of depression from becoming entrenched &amp; taking me over until I simply quit.</p><p>The doom &amp; gloom are always in the background somewhere, &amp; what I have found is that, while it's in the bacground, I can function much better.</p><p>&amp; good on you for quitting smoking. I quit in 1995 - April Foo's Day! Amongst the best things I have evr done for myself.</p><p>Lately I'm trying to carefor myself better. Better eating, doing exercise, in an effort to ward off the possible growth of another cancer somewhere else in my body. This is a mountain to me, &amp; one which has no summit; I'll be climbing this mountain for the rest of my life.</p><p>My confidence has never been even average. I'm learning to accept that asking for my own needs is in my own best interest, &amp; that these interests are just as important as anyone's.</p><p>Yeah, I sometimes think I share too much, especially when I am writing. If I go way beyond what is acceptable, the moderators here will do something about it. I get grumpy, &amp; I get to learn more about dealing with my emotions.</p><p>I also tend to keep plodding on, even when plodding seems difficult. Tomorrow is indeed another day.</p><p>Humour gets me through, too.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Dear mmMekitty,</p><p>Thank you for your reply. I feel rather embarrassed by what I wrote. My mentor would say I was having a 'tantrum'.</p><p>I don't even know the result of the interview yet and I shouldn't be making assumptions. If I don't get the job, there will be other opportunities.</p><p>You are rught about humour! I spent this afternoon writing a humourous story to present at my writer's group and I'm very pleased with it.</p><p>So please forgive me for my bout of self pity mmMekitty and thank you for yoir thoughtful response.</p><p>Kindest regatds </p><p>Ruchju xx</p></div>", "date": "10-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>hi there,</p><p> </p><p>good on you for pursuing something new at your age. that is so inspiring! you should be proud of your effort in the interview and for gaining your qualifications! as mmMekitty said, there is great need for counsellors and mental health professionals at the moment, so hopefully an opportunity will come your way <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>life experience is quite invaluable when counselling someone. it enables you to have increased empathy that someone without that experience cannot have.</p><p> </p><p>it is hard to be positive when experiencing negative thoughts and feelings of emptiness, but it is possible. you can do it. you will get there. make sure to practise self-care and see a counsellor yourself if you need to.</p><p> </p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "11-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48737", "content": "<p>Don't give up, you are doing so many things right! I too am having trouble starting a new career after completing my fairly recent mature-aged bachelor's degree in a field I have no experience in <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tongue:\">😛</span> I am having to work really hard on re-gaining any sort of self-confidence, but we got this - I am positive. The right opportunity is waiting around the corner for you and you have so much strength, you just have to channel it into your confidence in yourself and your experience, education and unique gifts. </p><p> </p><p>Blessings xo</p></div>", "date": "11-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Writers' group, Richju? I was in a writers' group for people with a vision impairment, until COVID came along &amp; we disbanded. I didn't want to simply stop, &amp; a few of us, a very few, tried to keep going via email, but that didn't last either. I used to spark off of what others were writing so much! Hearing their diverse responses to each exercise &amp; prompt we were given was most pleasing, making me see there could be a dozen points of view to a single topic. &amp; we learned so much as well, about how to give critiques &amp; editing. I even became used to the social aspect.</p><p> </p><p>Of-course there will be other opportunities.</p><p>I have noticed your words of support &amp; encouragement to some members. I feel sure your words will be very much appreciated &amp; valuable to the recipients &amp; to readers in general.</p><p> </p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "11-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Dear Maisy Nina, mmMeKitty and jaz,</p><p>Thank you all for your most encouraging replies. This forum is so supportive and I feel much more positive now.</p><p>Yes, the writers' group is great therapy! I recently wrote about a psychic experience I had when I was a young teenager. I've been trying to write about it for many years and feared that the others in the group would think it was ridiculous. But they loved it and gave me plenty of positive feedback. They are even going to publish it in their anthology.</p><p>I believe that the key to mental health is to love yourself. There are professional writers in that group but, rather than feeling inferior to them, I have learnt to value their advice. We are all very different so it's futile to compete.</p><p>Writing about my vast life experience is helping me for now as well as your welcomed encouragement.</p><p>Thank you so very much again,</p><p>Richju xxxxxx</p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48737", "content": "<p>Have a positive and peaceful day, everyone xo</p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48202", "content": "<p>Thanks Maisy Nina, I just love your name!</p><p>I'm feeling so much better now and getting lots of help in meditation. I find that I experience depression just before I have a real breakthrough. If you believe in numerology, September is the best month for change.</p><p>Warm regards,</p><p>Ruchju xx</p></div>", "date": "13-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" }, { "author": "user-id/48737", "content": "<p>Good for you. Maisy is my late cat's name, sadly I had to have her euthanised after having her for 13 years, in April. Her full name was Maisy Nina Angelina <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span> Miss her all the time.</p><p> </p><p>Have a blessed and peace-filled day! xo</p></div>", "date": "13-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-after-job-interview/td-p/574150" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48828", "content": "<p>Hi, I’m 42(m) and in a long distance relationship with a lady in another state. I fly to her, or her to me most weekends. I’m very much in love with her, both of us have had prior marriages. We are both professionals in very different industries. Last week, she told me she wants to go for a holiday for two weeks with another man, whom I have never met. She tells me he is just a friend, and cannot understand why I told her that it upset me. Since then, I have told her that if she wants to go, then she should in fact go. Now I’m overthinking, cannot sleep, and I’m crazy anxious, to the point where I’m unable to function properly. Trying to quash the feelings internally, as she believes this all belongs to me. What do I do here? </p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" }, { "author": "user-id/48930", "content": "<p>Hi op.</p><p>l'm in LD thing too 5yrs now, l'm 59. We come and go to ea others for a mth or two a time every few mths last few yrs atm.</p><p>l don't believe she truly expects you to be ok with her holiday , l'll bet bottom dollar if that was you going with another woman it'd be a totally dif story, even though if you point that out, l would,  she'd prob deny it but she's brushing all that away bc this is her not you.</p><p>lt isn't just some normal thing people do when they're already in a relationship, she knows that even if she doesn't admit it. </p><p>Who is this guy anyway and wth is she even going away with him ? Do you know him too have you guys spent time with him together like is he part of your friend group or anything?</p><p>How has the relationship been between you have feelings always been mutually equal between you , have you both been fully committed or is it a bit one sided ?</p><p>At any rate , l'd bet any man or woman would be feeling exactly the same as you unless they were related or it's just business or something.</p><p>All the best.  rx</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" }, { "author": "user-id/48828", "content": "<p>Thanks Random, it’s good to know I’m not alone in my feelings. To be honest, yes, it’s seemed a little one sided. I have pursued her, and have fallen deeply for the person that she is. But I do get the feeling quite often that I’m an inconvenience to her, and being left unanswered for what seems to me as long periods of time. I’m kind of at the end of it now though, I’m tired of beating myself up about it. I think there is a lot to do with our different places of work, she is in the public sector, and I am in construction, so vastly different worlds. I tend to be over sharing in my thoughts of her, and I often receive stoic one liners back.  She says that she loves me, and I believe her. I just don’t think that she does enough to be respectful of a partnership, which turns every moment we aren’t together of me guessing when she is going to flick me. I truly just believe she has me on ice until she finds what she wants from someone else. The unfortunate part, is she is the first person I have TRULY loved, and I’m scared as hell of the repercussions of that. </p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" }, { "author": "user-id/48930", "content": "<p>Sorry to hear all that op and unfortunately my situation is also a bit blurry too right now. She's always insisted she loves me so much but yet when she gets back up home to hers, Syd, l'm in Vic, she starts getting weird again. lt's happened nearly every time. Atm l think it might be done- again - although l did have some problems when she stayed last and tbh this one l think could be on me.</p><p>Anywayyyy, whole nother story.</p><p>Me look , l don't think the work stuff matters that much l'm in the trades to and ex w was a nurse , gf was an air hostess for a long time, then office, my brothers in trades he's gf's a school head master . Sometimes these things can be just different people and worlds as you say , but other times , l think it depends on the person myself.</p><p>Such a shame though that you finally feel love but with doubts. l'd say we both know there shouldn't be doubts- that trust thing with mine is bc of the way she flips has always been big for me and trust, belief. She's a different culture to and doesn't seem to get it but is that real , l'm not sure.</p><p>And your right it can be scary as hell at any age.</p><p> </p><p>Personally with any real love, l don't believe there should be doubts but it's that troubling you so l'd listen to that and protect your heart tbh bc it sounds justified as she isn't sounding all in unfortunately l'm sorry to say. And this going away thing isn't sounding right either.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" }, { "author": "user-id/48828", "content": "<p>Mate, to be quite honest, I go through the exact same thing. I once told her it’s like “50 first dates”, because I we go back to our jobs, and all I can think of is her, and how is she doing? Is she ok? Is there anything I can do for her? And all I seem to attract in return is an “I’ll talk to you when I feel like it” attitude. I honestly think I’m part of this problem, maybe I’m just expecting far too much of her. She is very long suffering of my anxiousness and overthinking, but the issue which I posted at the top is something which I’m really struggling to get past. She actually even told me that she knew it would hurt me(because she thinks I’m a jealous man, which I’m absolutely not) but went ahead and did it anyway, because she wants to. I absolutely don’t want to lose her, so my only option is to say “go for it” and hope for the best. Not a great plan, I know, but I have no option from where I’m at. Now I’m fighting an internal battle against what I know is right, vs me not trying to care about the relationship. It’s not healthy, by any means, but I don’t know what else to do. I trust her, and I very much believe her when she says she loves me. But the initial shock of her telling me that she wants to go off with this guy, when we spend so much time apart, gets my spidey senses tingling. It made me feel very insignificant indeed.</p><p>I’m very sorry to hear about your situation mate, I certainly hope it’s the case that it’s not an irretrievable situation. </p></div>", "date": "12-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" }, { "author": "user-id/48930", "content": "<p>Sorry man l asked a few things that were in your first post anyway, probably one of my doing 10 things at once nights. So l hope haven't missed this one but how long have you been together anyway ?</p><p>lt's just that some people could get a little whateverish if it hasn't been that long but the other is a bit more full on than they're comfortable with too early in.</p><p>Don't get me wrong l know new love's one exiting thing but some want to run with it and enjoy l guess where as others though might wanna slow things down.</p><p>At any rate no surprises the spidey's are going off about her trip though none the less mine would be too and l'd be gobsmacked if hers were'nt too say it was vise versa.</p><p>Might be a long shot or maybe not a shot at all but as you do believe her love though on the other hand, maybe the trip is on purpose , a way slowing things off a bit, ldk.</p><p>But thanks for that to mate yeah ldk. l'm a bit confused with where l'm at. See l'm actually even still, a bit stand offish myself and she's right. 5yrs, l should be asking her to stay longer, making plans, appearing with a ring by now given the sort of person she is. No wonder the poor thing goes off every time she gets home now soooo, this trust stuff and that, might've made my own bed l think.</p><p>But she was very full on very early in and l just needed time but she is right, 5yrs is def' time, feel like l'm stalling.</p></div>", "date": "13-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/hyper-focus-on-potentially-the-wrong-person/td-p/574281" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48726", "content": "I want to know about feeling anxious even though you’re on antidepressants. I having been taking antidepressants from 5 years, actually things were good but now I’m getting anxious even after taking medication. Is it okay to feel anxious still you are on meds? Or Is medication not working? How do I know?</div>", "date": "24-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-anxious/td-p/573050" }, { "author": "user-id/22470", "content": "<p>From what I have heard from my mental health professionals, if your medication stops being effective, it's time to go back and look at other medication options. You likely just need your meds tweaked. </p></div>", "date": "24-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-anxious/td-p/573050" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>hi prinair.</p><p>anxiety is a normal emotion, which helps to keep us alert. A little bit of anxiety is fine, it like a primal instinct.</p><p>however, if the anxiety is getting out of hand, is constant, and making you feel terrible then the antidepressants can help to bring balance back to the connections in the brain.</p><p>in my experience, prolonged use may eventually make the meds become less effective, and needing correction with a dose change or a different med altogether.</p><p>medication is only 1 part of the recipe, and may only account for 10% of the treatment process. The rest is up to you, by practicing mindfulness, seeking some therapy, or talking to someone. Reassure yourself that things will be ok. Focus on things that are in your control. </p><p>if you are not sure about the meds then book an appointment with your doctor to discuss what you are feeling.</p><p><br>you are strong, and you can do anything.</p><p> </p><p>Not_Batman</p></div>", "date": "28-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/feeling-anxious/td-p/573050" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>At times I tell my anxiety to stop, go away, leave me alone. I thought it might be good to put it into a post. Feel free to write your own letter. </p><p> </p><p>Dear anxiety,</p><p>I've has enough of you &amp; you need to leave. I am a strong, confident, positive person &amp; you come in &amp; try to take it away. You always pounce when I'm a little vulnerable &amp; you just keep pick, pick, picking at me until my thoughts go round in circles.  Well, you won't win. I know your game &amp; I'm not playing.</p><p>Go back into your little hole, you won't get the better of me </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "10-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p> </p><p>\"<em>“She stood in the storm &amp; when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her</em><span> sails.” Elizabeth Edwards</span></p><p> </p><p><span>Bob</span></p></div>", "date": "26-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Hi Bob, CMF and all,</p><p> </p><p>I agree, this personification of our struggles is very useful. For a long time I have simply wanted to expunge my anxiety and free myself from its suffocating grip. I still don't enjoy/want/seek being anxious whatsoever, though I have gained some important insights about how it shows up for me. First, anxiety can often be a warning bell that something is not right in my relationships or my expectations of myself. I'm trying to get better at picking up on its \"ring\" before it becomes deafening and I can't hear anything clearly. So, \"hello in-built warning system, what do you have to draw attention to today?\" I might ask myself when the ringing starts.</p><p> </p><p>Secondly, accepting that an over-active nervous system is part of who I am is a lesson in humility. I have some great qualities and some real difficulties to manage, so I'll never be perfect. And this is a-okay. Anxiety helps me stay grounded, imperfect and human. Of course I struggle with this. Often. But philosophically I like the idea that to be human is to be imperfect. So anxiety can be my inbuilt grounding mechanism sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>Thoughts for the day.</p><p> </p><p>Annas</p></div>", "date": "04-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Welcome Annas1 </p><p>I agree. Anxiety can be grounding.  It reminds me to be grateful for what I have.</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety </p><p>You are niggling,  niggling, niggling. You want me to feel alone but I have support if I reach out. You want me to feel lonely, but I have people if I want. You are like a Ferris Wheel in my mind. Spinning, spinning, round &amp; round. Heart racing, feeling shakes. I would feel the same if I went for a long run. So I'll tell myself I've been fir a long run. You are, after all, just a feeling do I'll swap you out for something else.</p><p>See ya</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>That's fantastic CMF!!</p><p>I'm also getting that incessant \"alert, alert, alert\" at the moment from Anxiety. I'm pretty wiped after some heady days of preparing to travel. Not fun. So, Anxiety, despite your best efforts I'm going on my trip, going to let you come along if you insist, but I'm off and going to enjoy myself with my family in the sunshine. I've got lots of tools in the kitbag these days - you've taught me well. So, hang around, go away, whatever, I'm going forward into the future I have chosen. Adios!</p></div>", "date": "05-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>Today I have been overcome with a sense of calm. I am exhausted. You have completely drained me but I am in the zone, had a productive day at work &amp; enjoyed a walk in the crisp air on my lunch break. I am breathing deeply &amp; slowly. I am calm, relaxed, my mind is clear of your chatter.  I am so tired,  no energy, but I feel calm. I'm looking forward to closing my eyes &amp; allowing sleep to takeover.</p><p>Tomorrow is a brand new day.</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "07-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety, </p><p>So you're back. I'm trying to remember how I feel when your not around but struggling. Today is hard.  I give up,  you win. </p><p>I want the calmness, the stillness, the clear mind that makes no noise. I want you gone.</p><p>Go away, stop putting fear &amp; doubt on my mind. Everyday life is a struggle.</p><p>Leave me alone. Don't wanna do this anymore. </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "08-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Hey Annas1,</p><p> </p><p>What great insight! I never thought of anxiety like that. But yes its definitely understandable to not want anxiety whatsoever. Like yourself, I've learned to manage it sometimes with my own toolkit. I hope your trip goes well! <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "10-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>Just bugger off. You've been lingering for weeks &amp; I'm sick of you.  You make me feel isolated, drained, lonely, useless.</p><p>Just ger lost. You are a waste of my time &amp; energy.</p><p>Yours sincerely </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "24-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Oh CMF, I hear you! I've also been on a long and windy jag of anxious days and nights. Exhausting, demoralising, unfair.</p><p>So yes, get lost for a while Anxiety, give me some reprieve to rest and recoup. I deserve the peace, I've earned it as I've weathered your icy blasts and constant thrum. I'm actually pretty resilient if I consider what I have endured, managed and shared. I'm trying to act in a way that I can be proud of, despite the extreme discomfort. I choose to be proud of myself. I'm proud of you CMF. You are strong and brave. All power and ease to you.</p><p>Take care,</p><p>Annas</p></div>", "date": "25-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>At times I tell my anxiety to stop, go away, leave me alone. I thought it might be good to put it into a post. Feel free to write your own letter. </p><p> </p><p>Dear anxiety,</p><p>I've has enough of you &amp; you need to leave. I am a strong, confident, positive person &amp; you come in &amp; try to take it away. You always pounce when I'm a little vulnerable &amp; you just keep pick, pick, picking at me until my thoughts go round in circles.  Well, you won't win. I know your game &amp; I'm not playing.</p><p>Go back into your little hole, you won't get the better of me </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "10-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Evening Bob,</p><p>thanks for your comment - I've been óffline' for a while as I adjust to my travel surrounds. As per below, it's been up and down and the last few days particularly tough. But how lovely this evening to read your thoughtful words. There definitely is goodness and fellow-feelers in this world.</p><p>Thanks again,</p><p>Annas</p></div>", "date": "25-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Annas1,</p><p>Sending you strength &amp; comfort. </p><p>Cmf <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":folded_hands:\">🙏</span></p></div>", "date": "25-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/21500", "content": "<p>Thanks so much CMF <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span> It's great to have others thinking about us and wishing us ever onwards.</p><p>The wish is returned to you.</p><p>Annas</p></div>", "date": "26-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<p>Interesting approach , tell me more.</p></div>", "date": "29-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<p>Hi ,</p><p>I found it interesting about talking to your anxiety. I guess sometimes we see our anxiety as being outside of us. Something that is an external intrusion. The truth is it is very much a part of us , something connected and internal. Talking with it is an venue I have not considered. Thank you. Tell me more.</p></div>", "date": "31-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48427", "content": "<p>Hi ,</p><p>Thank you for your post ,great words !!</p></div>", "date": "31-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>I've been feeling good but last night I had a dream that made me wake up not feeling so great. It has caused you to return so of course any little thing is triggering me. It's really annoying &amp; quite an inconvenience.  I feel overwhelmed but I know you'll be on your way soon. I'm looking forward to going to work Monday so my mind will be too busy to have you interfere. For now, get off my shoulder &amp; stop chattering in my ear </p><p> I really don't have time for you.</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "26-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48773", "content": "<p>Oh anxiety my dear friend,  for the last few weeks you've been visiting  me, after being absent from my life for a while.  </p><p>I  know you like to come for a visit,  but it's now time for to pack your stuff and leave. You've out stayed your welcome this time.  </p></div>", "date": "28-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>At times I tell my anxiety to stop, go away, leave me alone. I thought it might be good to put it into a post. Feel free to write your own letter. </p><p> </p><p>Dear anxiety,</p><p>I've has enough of you &amp; you need to leave. I am a strong, confident, positive person &amp; you come in &amp; try to take it away. You always pounce when I'm a little vulnerable &amp; you just keep pick, pick, picking at me until my thoughts go round in circles.  Well, you won't win. I know your game &amp; I'm not playing.</p><p>Go back into your little hole, you won't get the better of me </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "10-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Thank you CMF,</p><p> </p><p>What a great post and idea.</p><p> </p><p>Dear depression,</p><p> </p><p>I've known you longer than most people in my life. You've seen my ups and downs. You've seen me grow and mature. You've taken away so much and for that I hate you. But you've also given me so much and for that I accept you. You taught me patience. You taught me hope. And you continue to teach me the value of happiness and living in the moment. I hope one day we can say goodbye to each other. And part as old friends. </p><p> </p><p>Bob</p></div>", "date": "11-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Hi Bob,</p><p>I love your letter &amp; how you've acknowledged what depression  has both taken from &amp; given to you. </p><p>I also hope you partner as old friends one say.</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "11-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/44836", "content": "<p>I love this!</p><p> </p><p>Dear Anxiety (or Pedro, as i like to call you)</p><p> </p><p>Why can't you just stsy in your box and leave me alone? </p><p> </p><p>Some days you are not as loud, and others i struggle to get past your noise.</p><p> </p><p>But.. im learning to live with you. You have taught me resilience, and that i can cope with situations even if you are in the background banging your drum.</p><p> </p><p>The lid won't come off your box one day, and i hope this day is soon.</p><p> </p><p>Jayne</p></div>", "date": "12-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Hi Jayne,</p><p>I hope writing here helps you seal that box on Pedro.</p><p>Cmf </p></div>", "date": "12-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>So you paid be a visit today. I took a day off work to have some time to myself &amp; you decided to remind me of when I wasn't working &amp; the stress I felt at the uncertainty of my life. You sat on my shoulder today, making me feel really down &amp; guilty for taking a day to myself. Well you know what, I work hard &amp; I deserve time to myself, to go shopping on my own, to not be rushing from school drop off to work to school pick up. I am allowed to have pleasures in life &amp; not be taken back to difficult times. I am allowed to be happy,  so go away. You will not take this from me.</p></div>", "date": "24-04-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>You know I was triggered yesterday so here you are. You've come to put doubt in my mind, go over &amp; over things in my mind. You're draining me. You've done this before, many times &amp; I've overcome it.</p><p>You know I'm tired &amp; drained, it's cold &amp; rainy &amp; you want to make me miserable.</p><p>I'm going to flick you off my shoulder &amp; watch you sulk away cos you're not welcome here.</p><p>I deserve better.</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "06-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16277", "content": "<p>Thanks CMF for sharing these. They are great. Hope they are helping you too. </p></div>", "date": "06-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety, </p><p>How are you? I'm well but I know you're here to mess with me again. Just wanted to let you know that I'm choosing to be mindful &amp; present.  I'm choosing positive thoughts over the ones you want me to have. I'm choosing to look things to be grateful for over things to worry about. </p><p>Thanks for the visit,  but it's time for you to leave.</p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "13-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" }, { "author": "user-id/16871", "content": "<p>Dear Anxiety,</p><p>Get lost. </p><p>Cmf</p></div>", "date": "25-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/dear-anxiety/td-p/563084" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>We are all created different because if we where all the same the world would not be a diverse wonderful place that is how we have different cultures and societies all over the world. There are counties all over the world that celebrate different idea's and concept.</p><p> </p><p>The beauty and wonder of multicultural celebrations</p><p> </p><p>when you travel to Mexico you have the celebration of carival in brazil with there diverse food and beautiful rich history and culture. The do speak a different language to us but that isn't a bad thing it is your chance to listen and learn about a different culture then your own. Have you ever had mexican food like a burrito or a quesadilla just for fun it is wonderful exploring a different culture or people.</p><p> </p><p>The next place we are traveling to is china the have an ancient culture and langauge which is about 3000 years old. Tere laungauge is known as a pictographical language where instead of words like english you write in pictures which is a bit of a challenge ill admit. There is there wonderful diverse food have you ever tried mongolian lamb or sweet and sour chicken they are very different to what you have in Australia.</p><p> </p><p>The next place I want to show you is india where the speak hindi and tamil which has a culture about 5000 years old. There is festival called depavili which is also known as the festival of light where you light candles on the night of the festival of lights to bring powerful good energy into your heart and your life.</p><p> </p><p>The diversity we share is powerful and being different is beautiful. Show love to those who are different and your life will be richer and more spendered then you imagine.</p><p> </p><p>We need to celebrate our melting pot of a country and look at our differences as a strength not a weakness. </p><p> </p><p>There is great power in accepting our differences as a country and a community.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone is different and unique in this world and love your neighbour with love and compassion.</p><p> </p><p>I wish everyone peace and harmony in the universe</p><p> </p><p>Thank you and have a wonderful day!!!</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-beautiful-acceptance-of-our-unique-world/td-p/573311" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48766", "content": "<p>Reaching out to get some tips on how to help a friend who has anxiety when changes occur and then socially isolates to ‘cope’  then the pattern repeats. </p></div>", "date": "27-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety/td-p/573270" }, { "author": "user-id/38654", "content": "<p>hi there,</p><p> </p><p>i am sorry to hear your friend is experiencing anxiety. you are such a nice friend to seek help for them. </p><p> </p><p>anxiety during changes or periods of adjustment is common and is something a psychologist or mental health professional can assist with. the best way is to take your friend to their GP and go from there. the GP will suggest the best way to go forward. i would suggest getting a mental health care plan, which will give you up to 10 sessions with a psychologist under medicare.</p><p> </p><p>other than that, just be there for your friend and let them know you are there if they need you.</p><p> </p><p>i hope this helps,</p><p>jaz xx</p></div>", "date": "28-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/how-to-help-a-friend-with-anxiety/td-p/573270" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48635", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p>I feel super stuck and uncertain and I’m worried it’s going to be like this forever. I’m currently a full time junior accountant studying accounting at uni part time and I’m so miserable. I wake up in the middle of the night so anxious I feel like I’ll throw up and when my alarm finally goes off there’s a 40% chance I’ll immediately start crying. And I’m so terrified I’m just doomed to be like this forever. <br><br></p><p>every other aspect of my life right now is honestly amazing but I am so miserable because of my job, and I feel guilty because it’s not even really that bad and I just don’t know what to do… the work isn’t that hard, I have stable hours, I get a pay raise every year, my managers are nice and I have the same/similar schedules to the people I care about so I can see them more often. But I have no friends here and I just feel evil and sad all the time. <br><br></p><p>I know deep in my heart this isn’t meant for me and I should quit but I’m terrified of losing the stability and worried that I’ll just feel like this no matter what. Especially with uni started back up I just feel swamped and I can’t do it anymore, I knew from day one that this isn’t right and now I’ve been here for over a year. I just don’t know what to do and I need some advice.</p><p> </p><p>thanks <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "16-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "Hi yourfav,  <br>\n<br>\nWelcome to the Beyond Blue forums. It was so brave of you to reach out here. We can understand how difficult it must be to feel this way, it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment between University and work. Thank you for letting us know about this.   <br>\n<br>\nPlease know that you are not alone during this time and if you would like to reach out to speak to someone via chat <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support</a> or via phone on 1300 22 4636 anytime.<br>\n<br>\nOur community is full of lovely people, and some have dealt with similar experiences. We’re sure they’d love to hear a bit more about you and may drop by and share their thoughts here once they spot your post.  <br>\n<br>\nKind regards,   <br>\nSophie M </div>", "date": "16-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" }, { "author": "user-id/48634", "content": "<p>I think if you feel really miserable at your job then it won't be sustainable, and you deserve to be happy. Do you know if there is something you would be more interested working in? Perhaps you could keep that job while studying towards something that interests you more? </p></div>", "date": "16-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" }, { "author": "user-id/48635", "content": "<p>I’m not sure what else I’d like to do, unfortunately while I’m at this job I’m forced to continue my bachelor of accounting as well so I don’t think I’d have it in me to try and study something else at the same time <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":disappointed_face:\">😞</span></p></div>", "date": "16-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" }, { "author": "user-id/46594", "content": "<p>First of all amazing job at sticking this out and studying for a year! The work issue on top of that is so much to handle and you’ve already proven how strong you are just by getting up out of bed through the tears and the anxiety! If you can do THAT while experiencing so much heartache and pain!? Imagine what you can endure if you simply made the decision to step away from something that is quite literally jeopardising your mental health and well-being! <br>listen you’ve gotta pay the bills and I get that. Would you consider asking them to go part time for a little while just bare minimum your finances for say,  3-6 months and use the extra day or two to either rest and recuperate OR volunteer or another little job or explore some online study alternatives?? <br>a change is as good as a holiday they say, and you my friend deserve a break, </p><p>don’t get trapped by the sunk cost fallacy - google it- you’ve got plenty of time to get back on track and it’s only been a year so far which in the greater scheme of things is totally manageable and you can move on! <br><br></p><p>wag x </p></div>", "date": "18-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" }, { "author": "user-id/48749", "content": "<p>Hi. I understand your predicament. I’m aged 56 and a long time ago, mid twenties, I was in a similar situation. I had graduated accounting and was working in an accounting job I hated. I thought it would be great experience but it never suited me. It was stressful, I never really was suited to it, but I felt trapped. It’s almost feels like you paint yourself into a corner - right?</p><p> </p><p>Only thing to do is to change careers. It’s painful but worth it in the end. You will never be happy doing the accounting by the sounds of it. Short term pain, for long term gain. At that age I never really knew what I wanted to be.</p><p> </p><p>I ended up becoming a police officer for 7 years and now am a property valuer and small business owner. Deep down I knew my future was something to do with “business” but in retrospect definitely not accounting.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps switching course to another area of business - say Human Resources or another strand? Accounting is a “dry” subject and definitely not for everyone / most people. Perhaps your future is with another path? To be fair, most people (and me) didn’t and don’t know what to do in life. I’d recommending switching/doing something completely different, deferring the course or finishing it under another strand if you can.</p><p> </p><p>Best of wishes.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "27-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/i-m-terrified-i-ll-never-be-happy-at-a-job/td-p/572512" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/19542", "content": "I'm 45 and running out of excuses for not attending things....got a headache, feeling sick, the baby's not well...not cutting it anymore.  So I've been pushing myself to go to public places such as restaurants, concerts and shopping centres and it has resulted in me passing out and people thinking I have had a heart attack and calling an ambulance.   My family thinks its low blood pressure ..I've had every test imaginable...even a CT scan for brain tumour last week..I knew what it was but I can't tell my family and friends what it really was.    Now I'm scared to go to work next week in case it happens there....I didn't go to work this week...\"had gastro\".  If I tell work what is really happening they will label me and never promote me...it has happened to a colleague with depression.  I have just been put onto sertraline  by my GP I have yucky nausea and it will take time to work...but how am I going to go to work without having a panic attack I am so scared?</div>", "date": "06-04-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" }, { "author": "user-id/30254", "content": "<p>Hello Lidia,</p>\n<p>I'm not a doctor.  Always good to put that out there, so it's great that you have actually found a nice GP.</p>\n<p>What you describe sounds like me, or \"used to be me\", or \"sometimes still is me but not as often as before\".  Anxiety, if not Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) then perhaps a Social Phobia (don't want to go out) or Agoraphobia (don't want to go out in case I have a panic attack).  Those are certainly things to ask your GP about rather than just taking the \"know-it-all\" advice of a random blogging stranger.</p>\n<p>My experience with drugs  was it took two weeks for the drugs to make any difference at all, at which point I felt very sick, upset, and ready to shed blood (it didn't matter if it was mine or someone else's), two weeks more to get back to normal (as in, where I was before I started on drugs) and then four more weeks until I leveled of at a new, happy normal.  Well, happiER normal, I'm still not happy, but I'm no longer sad.  So, keep your GP informed, but know that it does take time for meds to get there and it gets worse before it gets better.</p>\n<p>But it does get better, and for many people it gets fantastic.  It's not fantastic for me, but it's better.</p>\n<p>And hopefully, once you're a bit better, you'll feel safer when you are in public and more confident to do it more often.</p>\n<p>It might help, if you can access it, to get some psychology around \"Cognitive Behaviour Therapy\" where you learn to talk back to yourself.  \"So why don't I want to go out?  No, actually I think that's a poor answer so I'm actually going to go.\" type of thing.  </p>\n<p><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></p></div>", "date": "13-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" }, { "author": "user-id/277", "content": "Hi Lidia, early days for you, ahhhh the Excuses phase ...yep been there done that, now it's just \"well you know i cant go or do that\" because of ANXIETY......Your world get's smaller!.. regardless of who you are, so as much as it's painful keep on pushing, just not to hard! you don't want to let it get to small..it's harder then... Yes that old Panic can cause all sorts of chaos with  body symptoms, BP etc...dizziness not pleasant. Medication or CBT or Exposure try to not let it overwhelm you....TC.</div>", "date": "14-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" }, { "author": "user-id/21739", "content": "<p>Dear Lidia &amp; Damian,</p>\n<p>Maybe having to have a reason is the real pressure.</p>\n<p>If you go back to prehistoric times most of society's main reason for doing things was survival.   But, if we decide NOT to go to a restaurant nowadays we will still survive.   Maybe some family members will feel let down or embarrassed.  But we'll all survive.</p>\n<p>Having a heart attack feeling / blacking out whilst trying to fit into a social scene......... just guessing here, but maybe it's your subconscious telling you to \"prove\" how disabled you are.  The old \"I really am sick - LOOK !\" then stumble to the ground.</p>\n<p>Cos the last thing an anxious person needs is someone telling them what to do.</p>\n<p>Adios, David.</p>\n<p>PS  Dear Damien,   Kind of true this whole \"feeling safe\" in public as most hospital emergencies are caused by home accidents.  LIke that other statistic about driving accidents mostly happening when we are 1km from home.  I was walking my dog last week and a driver went through a brick wall, garden gnome collection and ended up half way through the lounge.   But then it was the neighbours house.  (Sorry, couldn't be bothered to respond separately - too many clicks !). </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p> </p></div>", "date": "15-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" }, { "author": "user-id/12654", "content": "<p>Wow U sound like u have it bad you poor thing. Have u tried anti anxiety herbal supplements and tried that when u have the attacks? It sometimes works or even chew the pastilles when u r feeling bad? I do and it seems to help.......and try that when u go out.</p>\n<p>i have told one girl at work how I am feeling as I do cold calling to clients all day and my attacks have been cos of my job......and now I have trouble swallowing which I guess is another part of anxiety (hope it is).......</p>\n<p>maybe do meditation......or something that will help u switch off??..</p></div>", "date": "25-05-2013", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" }, { "author": "user-id/38805", "content": "You don't need to tell your work why you won't be in.  Have your GP write you a medical Cert.  The medication  will take a little while to kick in, but it worked for me and made a big difference.  I've been taking it for quite a few years.  </div>", "date": "27-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/running-out-of-excuses/td-p/94973" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48747", "content": "Hi, I came off medication after over a decade on the drug for depression/ anxiety/ ptsd, Very, very gradually! At first all these interesting emotions started to emerge, I’d been completely blank emotion wise for the duration of being on medication. The great thing is I have loads of energy, I am no longer fatigued and in a grey brain fog. But the bad thing is I am overwhelmed with crippling anxiety. It is with me always. All day at work, when I am with my kids and at night I usually descend  into horrific panic attacks. It’s awful. I don’t want to go back on medication because I don’t want the fatigue but this is so awful and I don’t know how much more I can take. </div>", "date": "26-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/overwhelming-anxiety/td-p/573163" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi BastMade</p><p> </p><p>While relief comes to you in the way of feeling so much energy, my heart goes out to you when it comes to the overwhelming anxiety you're facing. It sounds absolutely horrible and incredibly stressful.</p><p> </p><p>I suppose you could say all meds have side effects, one way or another. While a med's side effects may be positive ones, such as turning the volume down on certain emotions or creating the kind of chemistry that doesn't allow us to <em>feel</em> what's naturally depressing or anxiety inducing, the down side of coming off medication is...the volume goes back up. It's kinda like 'Yay, I can feel again...oh, no, what's this? Damn, I can feel again full volume'. If emotion is energy in motion (<em>e</em>-motion), volume or <em>amount</em> of emotion can be physically felt. Incredible hyper activity (in the way of energy) definitely has an overwhelming breathtaking feel to it.</p><p> </p><p>While I'm far from mastering my nervous system, there are some absolute masters out there. They've found</p><ul><li>ways to breathe <em>out</em> such hyperactivity</li><li>ways to manage certain triggering people and situations almost thoughtlessly (so they don't have to <em>feel</em> the thoughts that would normally stress their nervous system and vascular system)</li><li>ways to manage understanding and taming their energy and nervous system through yoga (which is a practice that offers a unique perspective on energy, mastery and how the body's systems work)</li><li>ways to work it out at the gym, to the point where such a work out leaves them feeling more relaxed by the end of it</li><li>ways to better understand <em>individual</em> feelings that all feel like a collective feeling of anxiety. Each individual feeling we experience is <em>telling</em>. It'll tell us something significant. When a whole stack of new feelings come up or old ones suddenly resurface, we'll definitely feel them. I think this is where <em>talking it out</em> and making sense of it (all that emotion) can be a good thing. We can't keep that stuff in and expect to not suffer through it</li></ul><p>Could this be your call to step foot on the path of self mastery? Maybe a bit of Googling could offer something as you step foot on a whole new path. Perhaps something like 'How to naturally calm the nervous system' or 'The art and science of self soothing' could be a couple of interesting avenues worth exploring. Btw, I've found that researching how to manage depression or anxiety offers the view that there is a <em>fault</em> that needs to be fixed. On the other hand, researching 'the ability to feel' offers a whole different view. It comes from the perspective of <em>ability </em>(not fault) and covers how to manage the challenges or <em>down side</em> of that ability.</p></div>", "date": "27-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/overwhelming-anxiety/td-p/573163" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">If you had planned a holiday to another state for a niece or nephews 1st birthday party and spent loads of money on flights, and you were staying with the parents of said niece or nephew, with the understanding that the people you were staying with were actually going to be around to spend time with. </span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">You had a good first night, but the next day you found out that your family member you were visiting wasn’t taking any time off to see you, and pretty much<span class=\"\">  </span>dumping you on his girlfriend and kids (one of which is the rudest most annoying boundary-less person and doesn’t like to be told no), while they’re away.</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Then because of this, you had lost your ride back to the airport as promised and then had to spend more money getting a hire car because your understanding that you were going to be driven back to the airport suddenly wasn’t an option.</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">Then you were expected to babysit the kid without any warning, so the girlfriend could have some alone time, but instead took your wife and your kids out.</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">If the ‘host’ was silently annoyed with you because you didn’t babysit or take a child with you, and you still had to spend another night there, knowing full well you weren’t as welcome as you thought</span></p><p class=\"\"> </p><p class=\"\"><span class=\"\">And this was all playing on your already increased anxiety and depression, and making you feel like garbage when none of it is your fault, what would you do?</span></p></div>", "date": "26-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-make-me-feel-guilty-please/td-p/568865" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>Great hypothetical question, NB <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😄</span><br>I think I know this family (and many others just like it)!</p><p>Relatives rarely receive the same respect and consideration as other 'guests' where more effort is put into the display of hospitality.<br>But this does apply equally to the visitor as to the visitee, where tolerance and compromise is sort of mandatory from one and all to navigate the duration as smoothly as possible (biting one's tongue when and as often as required).<br>Keeping so may have enabled the free ride to the airport at least, and once back in the comfort of your own space you can look back on the experience with some relief that it is all over... for another year??</p></div>", "date": "27-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-make-me-feel-guilty-please/td-p/568865" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Not_Batman,</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a stressful situation.</p><p> </p><p>You should not feel obligated to do things you weren't informed about or agreed to, such as babysitting. It is important to express your need for boundaries. If there are activities that you feel uncomfortable participating in, it is absolutely okay to politely decline.</p><p> </p><p>I would suggest you to initiate a candid conversation with your host about your feelings and your understanding of the arrangement prior to the trip. Be respectful and honest about how you're feeling. It's possible that misunderstandings occurred on both sides, and communication can help in resolving them.</p><p> </p><p>Mark</p></div>", "date": "27-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-make-me-feel-guilty-please/td-p/568865" }, { "author": "user-id/8271", "content": "<p>Well 2 months have passed, and not so much as a hello. Its almost as if we’ve been cut off. <br>even trying to initiate a conversation is met with the sound of crickets.</p></div>", "date": "26-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/don-t-make-me-feel-guilty-please/td-p/568865" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/25528", "content": "<p>I feel nervous posting this because I worry what people will think. Still, I'm trying to speak up about things these days, because sometimes good things do happen through discussion.</p><p> </p><p>I've pretty much been on a restrictive diet my whole life. I was born with really bad food and chemical sensitivities that impacted my behaviour and physical health - yes, I was the kid whose skin would melt off from using soap. As I got older, and had a tonne of therapy, my food sensitivities lessened but I could never eat a so-called normal diet. Not even a normal healthy diet. I had to watch what I ate, cutting out all the amazing things in the world like sugar, grains and carbs. This was not something I just decided because of food fear or something - these were medically prescribed diets by professionals who knew no other way to manage the gut/physical issues I had. I never liked the diets but they made a really big difference for me. For example, I don't exactly know why, but at one point rice made me feel really paranoid.</p><p> </p><p>Fast forward to my late teens and I stumbled across a great nutritionist who got me to do all these (expensive) tests to look at my gut health. The test showed I had really shit gut health - no wonder I felt so crap and couldn't eat anything. My 'gut' feeling had been right! After lots of supplements and more elimination diets, my gut is much better. I can tolerate pretty much any food, but I still have to watch not overeating grains, dairy.</p><p> </p><p>I also started experiencing body image issues and figured out how to lose a bit of weight as this made me felt better. I did it pretty slow, over a year and a half.</p><p> </p><p>Now, I'm sick of having anxiety about food, wondering if will make me sick again. I also don't like my fear of weight gain and still plan to lose a little more. I want to get help but all the psychologists I've seen so far are convinced it's all in my head. They completely ignore why I had to be on those restrictive diets and just assume any reaction to food is my imagination. Their solution to body image issues is also to make me put on weight - which is really annoying because I have spent a year and a half of my life dedicated to this and I feel better. I want to get to a point where I'm not anxious about food and have a better self image, while still achieving the weight I want. </p><p> </p><p>I just wish I could get help from someone who wouldn't make me give up what's important to me in doing so.</p></div>", "date": "25-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-of-getting-help-from-eating-disorder-professionals/td-p/573104" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "<p>Hey Willowtree_21,<br><br>Thank you for sharing here today. It is totally understandable to feel nervous about it but we hope you can feel that this is a safe and welcoming community.<br><br>There can be a lot of shame and secrecy when it comes to eating disorders and disordered eating so it is a powerful step to talk about it. We are so sorry to hear that your experiences of opening up have not been helpful for you. It can feel really invalidating when our concerns are not taken seriously. <br><br>If you would like to continue looking for support, there are some awesome directories that can help find ED-specific practitioners:<br>- <a href=\"https://nedc.com.au/support-and-services/service-locator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">NEDC Service Directory</a><br>- <a href=\"https://connected.anzaed.org.au/treatmentproviders/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">ANZAED Eating Disorder Credential service directory</a><br><br>Another source of support and information is <a href=\"https://butterfly.org.au/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Butterfly Foundation</a> - available on <a href=\"tel:1800334673\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">1800 33 4673</a>. You can also <a href=\"https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/chat-online/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">chat online</a> or <a href=\"mailto:support@butterfly.org.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">email</a>.<br><br>The Centre for Clinical Information (CCI) also has a fantastic range of free workbooks and activities that you can work through when it comes to <a href=\"https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Appearance-Concerns\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">appearance concerns</a> and<a href=\"https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Disordered-Eating\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\"> eating disorders.</a><br><br>Hopefully that was not an information overload and can be helpful. Once again thank you for opening up here today, we hope this can be a positive step for you in your journey <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\"><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":slightly_smiling_face:\">🙂</span></span><br><br>Kind regards<br>Sophie M</p></div>", "date": "25-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/scared-of-getting-help-from-eating-disorder-professionals/td-p/573104" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48724", "content": "<p>i think i'm losing my mind i've been diagnosed with complex ptsd depression and anxiety i've been to therapy where recently in the last couple of months i had feelings of suicide but i've not let my family know because i have a good life execpt for my mind so i feel so guilty complaining about anything and my thoughts have been feeling to tempting and i think i'm losing control and i'm worried because i can't see a future for myself </p></div>", "date": "24-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-mind/td-p/573043" }, { "author": "user-id/3729", "content": "<p>Hey Meremortal,  </p>\n<p>Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We can understand how difficult it must be to feel this way, and we really appreciate you being open and sharing what's going on for you right now.  <br> <br>It can be so hard when we feel like we can't speak to our family. Is there anyone that you feel able to discuss this in person with? We’re reaching out to you privately to check you’re ok. In the meantime, we’d encourage you to <a href=\"tel:%201300%2022%204636\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">give the Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636</a> or <a href=\"https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">speak to them on webchat here</a>. <br> <br>If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. That might mean connecting with existing supports, following a safety plan, or you could <a href=\"https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">connect with Lifeline on 13 11 14</a>. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call <a href=\"tel:%20000\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">000</a> (triple zero).  <br> <br>We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.  </p>\n<p> </p>\n<p>Kind regards,  </p>\n<p>Sophie M </p></div>", "date": "24-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-mind/td-p/573043" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Meremortal</p><p>I'm glad you reached out to us &amp; BB.</p><p>I first wonder, since you say you've been in therapy, are you still? &amp; do you feel able to talk to your therapist about these feelings you are having?</p><p>Working with a therapist you feel able to talk to is important. If you don't want your therapist to share anything you say with parents or anyone just ask them not to. It would be good if you could find a way to talk to your parents, so they can understand what you are going through. That might take time, though, so I understand if right now you don't feel you can talk to them.</p><p> </p><p>When I was younger, I began writing my thoughts &amp; feelings. I found that helped to stop them going round &amp; round in my head. I began thinking more clearly about what I was thinking &amp; feeling. Then I could more easily talk to my own therapist.</p><p>Maybe that could help you? You don't have to keep anything you write, don't have to show anyone if you don't want to, but sometimes, you might want to rather than speak first about some things you are thinking or feeling. I did that too. I'd take in some of my writing for my therapist to read before I felt I could talk.</p><p>You do have a future. I know it's hard to see any right now. But you don't need to think too much about that now, especially while you feel so mixed up with your thoughts &amp; feelings &amp; like you are losing your mind.</p><p>Sometimes all I could do was wait. Let the storm pass. &amp; it would. The writing helped, but so did simply waiting. It felt frustrating. It was better than feeling I was fighting a losing battle with my own head. That's why I realised waiting was better.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this helps.</p><p>Oh, &amp; of-course, you can write here, on BB Forums as much as you want.</p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "24-08-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/my-mind/td-p/573043" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48422", "content": "<p>Hi,</p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure if this is the place to post but I have nobody to talk to about this. I'm 28 years old and got the Disability Support Pension when I was around 17 or 18. It would have been from depression and anxiety which I no longer have any evidence for. When I was 20, I got diagnosed with Autism level 2, which I do have evidence of, which explains my depression, anxiety, plus a whole lot more issues I struggle with.</p><p> </p><p>Over the years, I reached a point where I wanted to pursue university, as I was able to work on my mental health and became curious about working. I completed a program to get into university and got into a social work degree which I am doing part time. I moved out of home my first year and my parents also moved away to another state so with the DSP I can pay rent and anything I need. </p><p> </p><p>Here is where my anxiety is kicking in and it is to levels I don't think I've felt before. I'm almost halfway through my degree and I've been having thoughts of having to be reviewe. If I do have one and they cut my payment, I will be forced to either work and do uni, or stop uni altogther and move back with my parents.</p><p><br>I think I could work now, but since I'm at university, I feel like both would completely overwhelming and my mental health would decline much to where I was when I started DSP. I really want to become a social worker. I don't have any qualifications and don't know what else I'd do. The idea that I could be reviewed at any moment or even the last semester of my degree and denied payment is destroyting me mentally. I see a psychologist and am registered with the NDIS and see a support worker, so maybe I could get documentation by them? I'm just scared and afraid that the path I've carved out from being on DSP could be ruined by it as well. </p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-about-a-possible-dsp-review/td-p/577483" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi, welcome</p><p> </p><p>So, as I understand your post, you havent been told you are going to have a review, you are worried about Centrelink informing you will get one?</p><p> </p><p>Worry can be really non productive and cause stress. That means anxiety. As I see it you have two choices-</p><p> </p><ul><li>Try to lower your anxiety with deep breathing and other relaxation methods. Ask your GP about learning these</li><li>Get a part time job that can supplement your pension up to the maximum amount you can earn before your pension is effected.</li></ul><p>On point 2, there is many people like you that also work part time out of uni hours. Most workplaces like takeaway chains put you on a roster that fits in with your uni attendance. Having been on DSP for that many years I think your fear of entering the workforce is playing on your mind. That builds up fear and anxiety as well, yet, if you started in such work it has other benefits like it forces you to take a break from study, grows your self esteem and learning other people skills. This would benefit you in a search for future placings as a social worker in fact it would be crucial to getting a job. How many employers will employ a graduate of uni in a social worker position having never worked in a job?. That being on your resume will look a lot better than not working at all before 30yo.</p><p> </p><p>This answer may not be the answer you are looking for but it is a common sense answer to your anxiety from an action from Centrelink that might not come. If it did come and you were working , then your devastation wont be near as bad.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you see the logic in that answer but wish you all the best.</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-about-a-possible-dsp-review/td-p/577483" }, { "author": "user-id/48422", "content": "<p>Hey thanks for your reply, yeah the idea of a review popped into my head and sent me down an anxiety spiral then as you said other anxieties starting arising as well, which led to my post. Everything just bubbled to the surface. </p><p> </p><p>Your post makes sense to me and the choices are a succint way of how I can move forward, so thanks for writing it. I'm not sure what I really wanted either but I am grateful for your reply.</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety-about-a-possible-dsp-review/td-p/577483" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/23925", "content": "Hello all I have anxiety and have my husbands mums funeral today. I am extremely nervous as it's a private funeral and my family are there and are quite judgy and in worried about what they will say. I know it's stupid and I should be focusing on my husband and his mum but I can't. Please help me</div>", "date": "28-03-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nervous-and-anxious-about-everything-especially-funeral-today/td-p/273460" }, { "author": "user-id/28766", "content": "<p>Funerals are not good for anyone. Most people are 'on edge' beforehand, for various reasons. </p>\n<p>Perhaps if you try to concentrate on your breathing. Deep breaths in, slow breaths out.</p>\n<p>Whatever happens, you are not responsible for anyone in your family, or their actions. We all know we can't choose our family. If they say anything 'judgy' just walk away. Don't respond or interact in anyway. Your inlaw family can only form opinions about you by your own actions and words.</p>\n<p>My sympathy to your husband and you on your loss.</p>\n<p>Lee</p></div>", "date": "28-03-2017", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nervous-and-anxious-about-everything-especially-funeral-today/td-p/273460" }, { "author": "user-id/36690", "content": "<p>Hi Sarah,</p>\n<p>I hope you were able to find comfort for yourself for the funeral. I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husbands mother and your mother in-law. Please allow yourself to be kind to you. I know times would be stressful but please just remember to breathe and if you need to take a moment to yourself by all means take it. </p>\n<p>You and your husband is what matters. Not the opinion of anyone else is isnt supportive. We all know the saying you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family. It's not always about being blood related but its about who's in your life that make it worth it. That's a healthy boundary to have.</p>\n<p>Listening to you</p>\n<p>Kind Regards</p>\n<p>MY thoughts are with you</p></div>", "date": "20-04-2020", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nervous-and-anxious-about-everything-especially-funeral-today/td-p/273460" }, { "author": "user-id/49463", "content": "<p>I understand your concerns about your family's judgment during the funeral. It's a challenging situation, but your primary focus should be on supporting your husband and paying your respects to his mom. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it's okay to lean on those who offer you support and understanding. Stay strong and take it one step at a time.</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/nervous-and-anxious-about-everything-especially-funeral-today/td-p/273460" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’ve been on work cover for around 10/11 months due to work place injury, bullying, assault and numerous other things happend I’ve been sent to a new location ( temporarily) while I adjust to returning to work , today was first day back It was hard I was lumped in a role I’ve never done ( receptionist) Recived no training just answer phones take notes which is way stressing when I don’t know clients procedures or  even the telephone systems or who to ask for help no one was available despite me asking numerous times for help . I can’t say how I felt after leaving work all of 3 hours work left me sweating profusely and literally panicked state of mind then to top it off I got a snarky email from my nasty return to work co ordinator due to apparently me missing something in a timesheet I submitted and that was my fault given I’ve never had to do timesheets and again no one was around to assist me to complete these tasks . My dad says I should quit and after today I feel I should I I’mvery overwhelmed by today’s awful work day and told my new boss that too . I dread going into work tomorrow , how do others deal with returning to work after long absence and mental health problems I have anxiety and depression Re what happened at my original work site yes I am requesting a new return to work co ordinator </p></div>", "date": "11-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/5" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Thanks emotion’s your  Support has  helped me a lot . Should I and what ifs are the worst I don’t enjoy the double thinking in my brain &amp; doubts it’s not very fun. </p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/5" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hi Emily</p><p>No problem with kind words, your so easy to chat to. I thought your work would come back with that excuse, are you still getting paid your weekly amount seeing your not terminated as yet and still on w/c.  if it was me I'd let them wait until you see your lawyer next week. if you want to scare them just tell them your lawyer will be handling it now so they'll have to wait until you get advice off the lawyer. No need to panic Emily, your doing great and handling it the best you can. You shouldn't have to deal with all this crap without that advice you need, this w/c is technical and takes some handling to get the best results. Make sure your lawyer is no win / no fee and the majority of the fee when you win comes from the insurer. You may have to pay a little but that comes out of your payment. Mines the same as the above so they're not ripping you off if they tell you that.</p><p>I'm sure your doing brilliantly Emily considering the situation the company has put you in. </p><p>I'm kind of excited about it as I'm used to dealing in the medical side of things from long ago. I'm thinking this volunteer thing may be a doorway back into the hospital environment and paid work but time will tell. I don't get nervous for interviews really, I think if they want someone who will try their best hopefully they give me a chance. I'll be my normal charming self <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span> and see how it goes. Can't say everything on here as its all public and still have that trust issue with others, Not you by the way.</p><p>This weight thing sucks, I lose a load then hit a wall and put some back on again from snacking (comfort food) and then get pissed off with myself for putting it back on again lol.</p><p>For me to take my mind off things I snack or find something to do round the house or in the garden, go to the shops, thinking of going to the local pools as they have that hydrotherapy pool as well as normal pools. Once I'm officially unemployed I'll be able to get discount's as well (another plus) <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_smiling_eyes:\">😊</span>.  Walking is good as well except I think I'd be slower than you after awhile, atm I'm more a stroller than fast walker🤦‍<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":male_sign:\">♂️</span>. </p><p>Wow you got a busy week,  best wishes with all your doctors appointments,  mine is quiet until Thursday when I have that interview at the hospital that's if the clown at rtw provider gets it sorted.</p><p>Are you going to get dressed up for Halloween and do the trick or treat thing just to get some candy's  <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span></p><p>My week is looking hot and hotter from tomorrow, 28, then into the 30's up to 37 by Friday I think. To me at the moment every day is like a weekend, kind of enjoying it being at home but on the other side of things it's weird not having any job to go to. Kind of muddles my head at times and gets me thinking of the future. I know that both of us will get though our issues over time and will sort itself out, still gets you thinking if you know what I mean. </p><p>Was sat outside this morning on my lounger and was great in the sun trying to get my summer tan sorted, think nice weather really lifts your mood. The rest of the day was pretty good, I had a nap, watched tv, made lunch on the bbq and just sat about. Hope you had a great day and try not to worry Emily, that mountain in your head can be scaled and you will reach the summit and post that flag.<span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":thumbs_up:\">👍</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "31-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/5" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’ve been on work cover for around 10/11 months due to work place injury, bullying, assault and numerous other things happend I’ve been sent to a new location ( temporarily) while I adjust to returning to work , today was first day back It was hard I was lumped in a role I’ve never done ( receptionist) Recived no training just answer phones take notes which is way stressing when I don’t know clients procedures or  even the telephone systems or who to ask for help no one was available despite me asking numerous times for help . I can’t say how I felt after leaving work all of 3 hours work left me sweating profusely and literally panicked state of mind then to top it off I got a snarky email from my nasty return to work co ordinator due to apparently me missing something in a timesheet I submitted and that was my fault given I’ve never had to do timesheets and again no one was around to assist me to complete these tasks . My dad says I should quit and after today I feel I should I I’mvery overwhelmed by today’s awful work day and told my new boss that too . I dread going into work tomorrow , how do others deal with returning to work after long absence and mental health problems I have anxiety and depression Re what happened at my original work site yes I am requesting a new return to work co ordinator </p></div>", "date": "11-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi TBR</p><p> </p><p>sorry your return to ( try ) to work was sucky I cannot believe they would send you home ( do u have a return to work plan? I don’t know if I’d tolerate that myself I’d be on the phone to the insurance (WC &amp; tell them ur work is not following ur return to work plan they can get big fines for that cause it’s non compliance to follow WC which is bad news financially for the company . <br><br></p><p>yes WC is better than no help at all for sure I don’t know about the  insurance refusal to pay for ur treatment u need to speak to WC directly about that as that’s so hard , my WC insurance pays for everything psych , counselling I did have a shoulder injury too but that has recovered.  The mind takes longer to heal especially with jobs not behaving as they should , </p><p> </p><p>my days lately are busy with lots really I walk up to two hours a day ,  if im not walking I’m in counseling or at home tidying or whatever, I’m  busy probably  deliberately so ,I don’t really sit much but if I do I watch really bad tv in the afternoon then I’m busy with my daughter in the afternoon . I find my moods fluctuating a bit like urs I get annoyed, sad depressed . I don’t really feel like why me ,more annoyed the person/ people who did this to me get to go to work and I get terminated it’s funny but also unfair &amp; maddening but the other side of me is actually relieved I never have to go back there like I’m free I can do / go somewhere else and that’s ok too</p><p> </p><p>. I have tried the no win /no fee lawyer thing but cause I’m still in recovering mode they won’t take me on cause I have to be fully healed b4 going to a lawyer I’m not sure why but that’s what they have told me but trying to find a paid lawyer to get my entitlements . <br><br></p><p>what do u do to keep busy ? At home on WC? Any hobbies things that make u happy / relaxed? Do u have good support  network  ? I I find my sister very helpful &amp;!- good listener &amp; support she’s helped me a lot to find myself again  </p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hiya Blues</p><p>Yeah I have a rtw plan but because I cant do my old task apparently my company says they haven't got a role they can put me into on my new restrictions. Personally I think its a load of crap but if they don't want me to work and chill at home that's their choice not mine. I was willing to do anything till my rtw provider found something else for me so what can I do.  the funny thing is they tried to tell me I had to use my annual leave because i was not working, just more stress to look at but checked with my lawyer who said no way. I enjoyed relaying that to my company lolol.   I'll look into the legal side of things when I talk to my lawyer but for now I'm stuck at home chillin. Think here in the west they may be different rules as the insurer can choose if they will accept liability for a condition or injury. They are paying for some psych treatment without accepting liability for my depression, (explain that to me). I'm still waiting on another operation to my knees aggravated by my work injury and they wont accept liability for that so that's before the lawyers as well. Your right about the mind taking a long time to heal, hopefully once all this is over I'll go back to how I used to be, not sure if that's a good thing or not loll.</p><p>Today I've had a quiet day sunbathing and watching tv, facebook and on here, yesterday I was busy doing stuff round the house and front garden to keep me busy, not sure I could do 2 hours a day walking especially in one go. My kids have all moved out so I can avoid that task.</p><p>I know what you mean about being annoyed about how comes I'm the one terminated while the other person isn't affected. Its actually great I  don't have to go back to that toxic workplace with the way they treat people and yeah can feel free to look elsewhere once i get as good as I'm going to, hopefully in 6 months or so physically, mentally who knows. You have a great attitude about your outlook into the future also, your not going to be how you are now or how you feel, in time it can all be healed and you will be your old self. </p><p>I'd really check that lawyer thing out Blues, What is your name if you wanna say, I'm Jeff by the way.</p><p>I signed up my lawyer and still not fully healed, think my lawyer still has to get me checked over physically and mentally to see what to claim off insurers. Makes a big difference having a lawyer and takes some of the stress away. If you go FB check out some of the ads on their or goggle some Blues, unless its different where you are you can get a lawyer at anytime even a few weeks after you get injured. When we get to the stages we are now its so important you get every cent you can to keep you going especially as you have a daughter to care for.</p><p>OK get ready for this Blues and no laughing, to keep busy I like to do housework hoovering, mopping anything like that, dishes, cleaning stuff etc etc, stop laughing lolol </p><p>If I'm not in my piny I find stuff to do in the garage or garden, love going to the shops but spend to much, watch tv, FB, cooking, bbq, sunbathe, keep saying I'm going to the beach but so far i haven't made it down there yet. I used to fight fires which I loved doing but had to leave due to work commitments.</p><p>I try to keep most of how I feel to myself rather than dump it on others I know, I've always been pretty selective about friends as so many people tend to be 2 faced and with me trust is a big issue.  I really open to the psych who gets paid to listen and advise and I guess on here. </p><p>How do you think you changed from the old you to how you were at your worst and now improving.</p><p>How do you find sleeping. </p><p>Do you feel happier now and less stressed. </p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Jeff ,</p><p> </p><p>thanks for your reply , my name is Emily. In regards to your annual leave no you don’t have to use that ( my job did the same to me but b4 my claim was approved) they just tell u  to use ur to save ur leave accumulating during WC ( as it builds up while ur on leave ) try to not use ur annual leave if u can .  My work was also the same when I first tried to return they said oh u can’t do one task so therefore u can’t come back ( I personally wish I hadn’t but the insurance company told them if I could do all the other tasks then why can’t I return so I went back into I was abused by my RTWC and most recently terminated cause they had no roles 4 me which is hilarious cause of the sector I work in  then they come back to me a month after termination and want to talk about terminating me again cause they didn’t do it properly the first time so I’m still fighting that battle at the moment) </p><p> </p><p>I don’t know about the lawyer thing I don’t know the rules may be different in my state than urs as to why the access to getting one is different not sure about it but definitely looking into it I have a few appointments next week with lawyers ect.  </p><p> </p><p>Your situation with your claim is so complicated I don’t know if it’s not right they can pick and choose injury’s when ur injury is from work it’s difficult that’s for sure so are u gonna go GP for your knees ? Care plan can get u 4 free ( bulk billed treatments) </p><p> </p><p>I haven’t told everyone the issues but I have told my family most people know I’m not working which they find highly unusual cause I’ve worked since I was 14 so it’s like people ask I don’t say too much but it is what it is<br><br></p><p>At my worst I can be very anxious, I fluctuate between anger &amp; anxiety usually the anxiety kicks off first and the anger comes afterwards depending on the mood &amp; what’s triggered it.  Mostly on bad days or if my anxiety peaks . Or  If I have communication from work I panic and takes me 2 days to respond or think of a response that’s not too spicy and have to rewrite I constantly feel panicked if my work contacts me it lasts for days it’s really horrible.</p><p> </p><p>on good days with no triggers im mostly me but a different kind of me im more assertive , . I used to b very very nice almost like a door mat couldn’t use my voice whereas now i have no problem saying something if i dont like something could b good could b bad i find most of the time im a bit like my old self but there are chances of course. <br><br></p><p>now i guess i dont know just need to find a path ,, i dont know if im positive about the future i dont like to think about it but nothing ever stays the same its constantly changing so i hope that things can change. <br><br></p><p>cleaning is very good busy stuff I like cleaning too but its pointless house stays clean for a day if less then I’m like I’m not cleaning anymore today . I like gardening that’s the best thing and walking a lot . The good thing about being home is to relax and just do day to day things . What is a piny ? Is that like a tin boat ? lol be fun if it’s a little boat . </p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>You are more than welcome.</p><p>Interaction with another going through a similar experience currently will be supportive for you both. <br>I wish you both all of the best dealing with “this” .</p><p>Most of all do not stop believing in yourselves.</p><p>Em</p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hi Emily,</p><p>Seems companies like to try it on on every front they can, as for them abusing you that's so out of order and wrong. No one deserves to be abused in their workplace or treated this way with taskings once their on a rtw program. So far my insurer and rtw provider hasn't told my company they need to let me back and find roles for me. How can they terminate you twice over the same issue ? sounds like they broke some rules or work law and now want to rectify it by trying again to get it right. Don't let them terminate you again until you get some advice regarding compo and workplace law, it could affect any claim / pay-out you have Emily. </p><p>Maybe the rules regarding lawyers are different state by state, here in wa you can get lawyer anytime during your claim and injury and seen some ads for other states as well. Don't give up on that front as i realised its so important to make sure you get everything your entitled to. Don't sign anything from work either or let them terminate / close your claim until you get advice or you can lose everything</p><p>My situation is a bit complicated as one injury was done at work and the others are old and new injuries aggravated or caused by the main one. My present work related injury is now medically as good as its going to get so no return to my old role while the others are being treated with Medicare / bulk billed public hospitals but they could be added to any pay-out depending on the legal advice. </p><p>I've also been working since I was 14 / 15 without a break unless I wanted one, pretty easy to get a job if you want one until you hit the walls of injury and mental health which  can limit things but I'm hoping in time we both will move forward to our previous self's. You don't have to tell everyone things you aren't comfortable telling them even family. It's up to you how much you say or who you talk to within your trust and comfort levels.</p><p>Anger and anxiety with me seems to fluctuate and just adds to my moods and depression and come on by either a trigger or for no reason. Just thinking about the situation can start my downward spiral and get me emotional and depressed, thinking to much about it, what if that happens or this happens and try to play out things in my head even though I've no idea if they will happen. I'm pretty good at dealing with work now especially once I have legal advice and would be so easy to get spicy with them but saving that up for later.</p><p>When work does contact you think of it as they are the enemy now and the ones that have treated me badly and with no respect, they're trying to justify their actions and limit my entitlement due to their actions, your the powerful one in this situation, your work is struggling to justify their actions so they should be panicking not you. Try to think how strong you are and can be when you need to deal with these issues no matter what triggers they pull on you. Stop for a minute, take a few real deep breathes and say I can handle this, I'm a strong woman and these people aren't going to make me weak. If anything does make you feel horrible ask yourself do I deserve to feel like this though something that isn't my fault at all. </p><p>hehe you a doormat, I cant see you as that, maybe kind-hearted and a bit soft at times but not a doormat, although i guess at times we all do things we'd rather not do or be mean in our answers to others, me included but now no more. I think its great you don't put up with crap off people anymore and say how you feel. No one has the right to make you feel bad or take advantage of you for their own gain to make them feel good and you bad. </p><p>Your old self is on the way to being reborn with a lot of the new you for the future, That new path will come as time goes on Emily, Change is happening everyday whether you like it or not because nothing in life stays the same. It's now how you handle the change and use it for your benefit which I'm sure you can do with that new inner confidence and self-worth. </p><p>Yeah I know what you mean about cleaning but just gives me stuff to do when I wanna be busy and pass time.</p><p>Being home has made me more relaxed and gives me time to deal with things as well as just chill and do other things. A piny (maybe spelt wrong) is an apron. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span> although I agree a small boat (called a tinny) would be loads of fun. You have me thinking now of a small inflatable rubber boat for summer on the beach. Used to have one but it eventually got a hole in it.</p><p>do you like the beach, ocean. </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Thanks so much emotions your support thru out all this has been great  don’t b a stranger </p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Jeff </p><p> </p><p>im glad u not have to RTW yet rest as long as u can.  I’m not sure what my job is doing I think they forgot the viral step of a medical assessment b4 the first termination ( based on no suitable duties for me ) the 2nd try is based on my non bodily form being at work as in presentations when I have no capacity to return to pre injury location yes I’m speaking to a couple  of lawyers about it this week I’ve kinda removed all emotional attachment to my job it’s now just another thing to battle and no I haven’t signed or agreed to anything I fight them all the way . Yes I live the beach I’m lucky enough to live not far from the beach. How are you feeling about  how things r going with u ? </p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hi Emily,</p><p>All I can do is rest now until they find me something else to do. Without an assessment not sure how they could of said they have no suitable duties for you and now the 2nd try is really because they never assessed you in the first termination. I have removed all emotional attachments to my old job as well and trying to look to the future and the paths forward. One thing that will help us both is to win our fights with companies that don't care about their employees and get what we are entitled to for the physical and mental torment they have put us though. Stay strong Emily and best wishes for your lawyer appointments, make sure they understand your position and need for legal help which will take some of the pressure off you which will ease your mental health as well. Just remember this won't last forever and in time we will return to our former selves. </p><p>Well another week is over and the next about to begin so feeling one week closer to the end of all this and some questions getting answered. Think I have an interview this week for volunteering at a hospital, isn't a job but could open a door to one maybe, my rtw provider organised it and you know how I feel about them <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span><span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":face_with_tears_of_joy:\">😂</span>.</p><p>Apart from that another week like the last week and seeing what happens. Think the weather is going to warm up this week with a few days in the 30's. Might get to top up the tan lolol. At times its hard to feel anything to do with this. When no progress is made it makes me feel down which isn't that good as I tend to snack more, lost weight then put it back on. hehe </p><p>Wants your plans for the week apart from lawyers, how ru feeling Emily.?</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Thank you blues</p><p>I appreciate you letting me know that. It is easy to fall into the trap of should I or what if?</p><p>I am fine. I do think that it is beneficial to be writing to someone in a similar situation as you at the same time as you. More spontaneous.</p><p>Take care and say hello whenever you want. I am not on here every day but will get back to you. Do take care. <br>Em</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Jeff </p><p> </p><p>Thanks for your kind words .i heard again from my job they saying I wasn’t terminated last month still wanting medical release forms im trying to push the issue that they did indeed terminate me last month ( yes they missed a step and going oh we better do that now .) unfortunately i can only get in to see a lawyer next week my initial appointment got rescheduled due to the lawyer being in court this week so panic stations back to square 1 with being like UM but its ok im managing as best i can .keeping busy as usual. its always nice volunteer work I want to do that too to get some experience  in a different field but definitely not hospital too close to aged care for my like my liking lol but  so exciting for u , are u excited about that interview or a bit anxious? It’s a new path which can be exciting / scary at the same time . I know what u mean on the snacking side of things but ive lost heaps  of weight so I can kinda snack and justify it as much as I’m walking a lot I still need to burn more than what I have been I get down on the situation too , how do u find coping when ur down what gets ur mind off things ( me it’s walking but sometimes that doesn’t always work unless I walk a strenuous distance. This week is packed for me I’ve got drs appointments, personal &amp; WC appointments, Halloween which is a fun fun time , birthday on the weekend and a bit busy until Fri. . How’s ur week looking? Are u looking forward to the weekend ? Yes finally got weather here in a few days ( hot is 24 degrees lately lol it’s been 16 to 18 to 20 which is a bit poor weather for late spring. My tan is topped up I  tan easy I’m outdoors a lot . How was ur day today ?</p></div>", "date": "30-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/4" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’ve been on work cover for around 10/11 months due to work place injury, bullying, assault and numerous other things happend I’ve been sent to a new location ( temporarily) while I adjust to returning to work , today was first day back It was hard I was lumped in a role I’ve never done ( receptionist) Recived no training just answer phones take notes which is way stressing when I don’t know clients procedures or  even the telephone systems or who to ask for help no one was available despite me asking numerous times for help . I can’t say how I felt after leaving work all of 3 hours work left me sweating profusely and literally panicked state of mind then to top it off I got a snarky email from my nasty return to work co ordinator due to apparently me missing something in a timesheet I submitted and that was my fault given I’ve never had to do timesheets and again no one was around to assist me to complete these tasks . My dad says I should quit and after today I feel I should I I’mvery overwhelmed by today’s awful work day and told my new boss that too . I dread going into work tomorrow , how do others deal with returning to work after long absence and mental health problems I have anxiety and depression Re what happened at my original work site yes I am requesting a new return to work co ordinator </p></div>", "date": "11-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47860", "content": "<p>I’d be reporting it now</p><p> </p><p>its one thing to be curious - it’s another to be constantly asked</p><p> </p><p>This is your personal information and you’re protected by privacy laws</p><p> </p><p>I’d just be like - everyone is so curious and ever since I came back I get asked this x times a day / week. If you want to talk about something else work related, or you want to talk about your work arrangements, happy to chat otherwise I’m going to have to cut this convo short and get back to work</p><p> </p><p>seriously - just be like, I’m back part time and working here for the time being… is there something else you need to know?</p><p> </p><p>and just be like ‘maybe have a chat to HR or a manager or something, I can’t help you with that. I’ve said all there is to know’</p><p> </p><p>That is it - that is all they need to know. You’re in part time and working there. Have a nice day. Back to work.</p><p> </p><p>I’d just throw random statements maybe too</p><p> </p><p>change is good, isn’t it? and I’m loving this office / the plants </p><p> </p><p>find something positive - you love the commute. Glad to be there.</p><p> </p><p>If it’s the same person pressing - report it.</p><p> </p><p>It’s just not that interesting - normal people don’t care, they just focus on work and make some small talk and might ask but not in the sense of pressing you </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47860", "content": "<p>Oh… if you’re on graduated return to work…. Call WorkCover….</p>\n\n<p>You need an advocate - this is very stressful to deal with as the person recovering. It’s a lot easier for others to advocate and help you navigate this with some support.</p>\n\n<p>I’ve been there and I can tell you right now - my capacity to advocate for someone else and ride someone else’s boss is different to what I had to do on my own</p>\n\n<p>Hang in there ok. This is all very wrong and you’d be surprised which workplaces are as lax and bad as your workplace - places you can’t imagine. <br>\n<br>\nMy workplace had all the policies and was in an industry with a big stake in this area of work - bullying and this kind of behaviour is not ok but this is what happens even in the industries that are supposed to be all about this stuff.</p>\n\n<p>You’re not alone. See if there’s a disability advocate or mental health or anxiety advocate or something… </p>\n\n<p>community legal centers might be able to help you draft a letter </p>\n\n<p>they have duties under WHS act etc so seriously - report it all as a hazard notification if someone can help you write it and just set out the things happening so far…. Makes it a bit easier to complete</p>\n\n<p>But expect backlash and they’ll push you out.<br>\nalternatively. Do they have a HSR or a site OHS rep? That’s who I would see. This is all psychosocial hazards and there’s codes of practice.</p>\n\n<p>the laws haven’t changed - they have duties </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues23</p><p>It is good that you are seeing your GP and remember to get a medical certificate covering you for time off.</p><p>Your manager has broached so many of the regulatory rules of employment. The fact that you are now needing to reduce your hours due to such treatment is also causing you further distress.</p><p>You are not required to discuss the reasons for time off with anyone including managerial staff when having a medical certificate.</p><p>You could try contacting disability advocacy in your state as anxiety and workplace bullying is something that they look into.</p><p>Here is a link for Australia to help you find your state representative.</p><p>Good luck with everything</p><p>You are doing nothing wrong.</p><p>You are looking after your health.</p><p>I would not be entering into any lengthy conversations with any of the cretons who are taunting you.</p><p>I would respond only with \"I need to focus purely on my work for the safety of all\".</p><p> </p><p>Keep on writing about it here. Maintaining your confidentiality and identity as we all need to.</p><p>This will help somewhat by releasing your built up emotions in a safe environment.</p><p>All the best</p><p>Emotions26</p></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Sorry forgot to leave the link</p><div class=\"\"><div class=\"\"> </div><div class=\"\"> </div><div class=\"\"><span class=\"\">will not allow me to post link</span></div><div class=\"\"><span class=\"\">search for disability gateway australia </span></div><div class=\"\"><span class=\"\">or ring beyond blue helpline if does not work</span></div><div class=\"\"> </div><div class=\"\"> </div></div></div>", "date": "15-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions</p><p> </p><p>thstnks for your reply I have reported the issues the questions have sort of ceased: new issues thou of my boss making me work longer than my RTWP states also got a call on my day off with being accused of meant to be at work which set off a panic attack and felt quite bad about myself for a few days I felt the need to fight the anxiety so I continued to go to work I’ve addressed these issues with the RTWC who is not much help but yes there’s confusion but not much help really so many other things like being left on site with a placement student ( I had no idea was a placement Student until Wednesday of last week ) with 1 other staff while they work on the kitchen I’ve reported  this to work cover too it’s yeah interesting I haven’t been given an induction, any access to files that I need to access to actually do my job I’ve mentioned these things to nearly two months of being back at work nothing. I sent off a couple of emails to work with these things not happening so little anxiety regarding going to work tomorrow as it’s like I’ve set off more bombs due to my works lack of any communication/ direction of my RTWP duties yes I have duties list but no access to files I’ve been sent to a new work site with no access to information so it’s like a dud of a thing Im just gonna turn up tomorrow and be like well it’s management responsibility  to make sure I get all the training and resources to do my job therefore it’s not my fault it’s not being supplied </p></div>", "date": "18-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Same if not slightly worse issues than before on Wednesday my Return to Work co ordinator spent a good 45 minutes abusing me for reducing my hours ( graduated return to work plan) I’ve had a lot of stress at work / returning to work . So this abuse I got off my RTWC left me frozen with fear I couldn’t get out of my car just frozen couldn’t think straight or breathe properly ( still same 3 days later on the calming down aspect and the breathing aspect) so anyway went to dr got no capacity for 4 weeks as I had a massive panic attack at the drs couldn’t function properly. No I worry as it’s past 52 weeks my employer does not have to keep my job open ( things that my RTWC said to me were very discriminatory asking me things about my mental health and why treatment is taking so long, threatening to fire me if I wasn’t “ better “ in like two months time and just threatening to terminate me in any regard.it was like really abusive went on for 45 minutes. My concern is that I won’t get a job again or I’ll be struggling financially after all this like stuff .has anyone ever been on work cover and gotten another job afterwards? And what was it like ? </p></div>", "date": "01-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/30886", "content": "<p>Hi there, I just wanted to comment that there have been HEAPS of jobs I've had in the past where I haven't been questioned on whether I've had a workcover claim. Some do, but those jobs have been very few. I hope this helps relieve some anxiety your having.</p></div>", "date": "02-07-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues23</p><p> </p><p>Sorry that I have not responded to you for a few months. I was away and then returned with covid which further confused my already confused foggy mind.</p><p>How are things with the work situation now?</p><p>I will let you know that I am not on my computer every day so I may not see your post if you do reply.</p><p>I sincerely hope that things have settled for you as it is deplorable that anyone be treated so poorly.</p><p> </p><p>Emotions26</p></div>", "date": "01-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions </p><p> </p><p>sorty u got covid , hope ur better now , I’ve had covid many times. Work ( in that work place )is over they have said they have no role for me so I’m only recently starting to get back into looking 4 another job and getting rehabilitated ( not started yet with it ( but looking to the future although terrified of going to work ( interviews) I have this internal struggle stress fear apprehensive about it all especially returning to the same role I was in before even if it’s a different employer I’m very scared to work with others people  colleagues and stuff but I hope in time that will pass i can’t hide under a rock forever right ?? </p></div>", "date": "03-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues23</p><p>That is a dreadful experience to have to deal with whilst trying to recover and rehabilitate. <br>Workcover has a history of not supporting clients sadly.</p><p>Clearly has not improved at all.</p><p> </p><p>Gosh how many times have you had COVID? That would have an impact on energy levels and your mind as well. <br>I imagine that you were expecting the no available role as part of the poor treatment. I think that outcome is far better for your long term health.</p><p>Rehabilitation is that still work cover?</p><p>Your internal response is a natural human reaction. <br>Do you need to return to the same type of role or can someone help you highlight all of your skills. <br>I can think of a few enduring that experience.</p><p>Resilience</p><p>Determination</p><p>Persistence</p><p>Reliable</p><p>Assertive</p><p>Loyal</p><p>working under pressure</p><p> </p><p>Starting a new job causes varying levels of anxiety and also adrenaline which can feel similar.</p><p>At your interview try to focus purely on a new beginning with new people at new premises. Try to focus on your eagerness to succeed and opportunity to start afresh.</p><p>I hope that you have a go or some kind of Counsellor who can help you through these stages.</p><p>Have you rang Beyondblue counsellors yet? They are very supportive and can provide some helpful ideas. You can ring more than once. They are also available 24/7 . If not sleeping call and have a chat.</p><p>keep on writing about your thoughts; feelings as much as you want to that helps release some of the intensity. <br>I believe that was the wrong job for you and something will eventuate even if not what you expect.</p><p>Look after yourself.</p><p>Em</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’ve been on work cover for around 10/11 months due to work place injury, bullying, assault and numerous other things happend I’ve been sent to a new location ( temporarily) while I adjust to returning to work , today was first day back It was hard I was lumped in a role I’ve never done ( receptionist) Recived no training just answer phones take notes which is way stressing when I don’t know clients procedures or  even the telephone systems or who to ask for help no one was available despite me asking numerous times for help . I can’t say how I felt after leaving work all of 3 hours work left me sweating profusely and literally panicked state of mind then to top it off I got a snarky email from my nasty return to work co ordinator due to apparently me missing something in a timesheet I submitted and that was my fault given I’ve never had to do timesheets and again no one was around to assist me to complete these tasks . My dad says I should quit and after today I feel I should I I’mvery overwhelmed by today’s awful work day and told my new boss that too . I dread going into work tomorrow , how do others deal with returning to work after long absence and mental health problems I have anxiety and depression Re what happened at my original work site yes I am requesting a new return to work co ordinator </p></div>", "date": "11-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions </p><p>I’ve had covid 7 times it never really bothered me much just made me tired and go to the toilet a lot but nothing much in the east of symptoms . I was one of the lucky ones not to suffer with it.  How are u going w ur covid ? <br><br></p><p>work cover has been very supportive so far I’m not getting ahead of myself the rehabilitation part is part of the return to work process thru workcover ( but not at my previous employer) yes I imagine then saying they have no roles is part of the abuse ( cause I saw on seek they had readvertise my role + another in the same location I found it a bit disappointing  and also hilarious cause I’m so qualified in the industry then they readvertise very funny i thought but it is for the best as they will never change toxic culture is toxic culture. I fear my experiences has damaged me a lot I used to be a very nice confident person now just not I don’t like being around anybody apart from my family  and even that can be challenging if I’m having a bad day in my head so yeah I’m imagine my next role will be purely solo in the sense to work alone I can only trust myself and don’t feel  I would be comfortable working with others . Yes work cover rehab apparently will help me identify other skills I may have but really just need a full career change or just go run swag work on a farm with  goats <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":goat:\">🐐</span> </p></div>", "date": "04-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues23</p><p> </p><p>Do you like the blues music? I love it. A style that will never outdate in my mind.</p><p> </p><p>Covid 7 times. You might have topped the list with that number. Not that I suggest you try to keep it up.</p><p>My covid is still dragging on in throat; voice on and off; definitely energy levels and foggy brain increase.</p><p> </p><p>That is good to know that work cover have been very supportive. I did not realise that was the case. I do not understand why they did not have more input with your work situation.</p><p>Perhaps best to put that behind you now and move forward in your rehabilitation.</p><p>Are you trained or skilled in a certain area of work? Does your previous role allow you skills in other fields. It can be quite an interesting exercise to sit down and list exactly how many skills that you have.</p><p>It is natural that you will feel anxious about future interviews; positions; organisations; staff.</p><p>Remind yourself they are all different and not part of what has been.</p><p>Do you have a separate counsellor or therapist from workcover to help you with your anxiety?</p><p>Anxiety can be controlled with the right help and in some cases medication not necessarily ongoing.</p><p>It is worthwhile trying to manage that side of your health while you are rehabilitating.</p><p>You might already be doing this. Just ignore whatever I say that you are already doing.</p><p>The only thing that I feel is worth repeating is not to compare what is now or in the future to what was in the past as that whole experience is now in the past time wise. It just feels as though it is still with you because your mind has not yet settled.</p><p>I saw something on a current affair type programme briefly the other night advertised. They were discussing the fact that many people are doing just what you mentioned; having a completely new career change. There is enough work opportunities.</p><p>This could be a new start and turn your life around.</p><p>Swag work on a farm with goats is an option if you can afford to live off how ever much that pays. A goatherd.</p><p>Life has already improved for you. You are out of that workplace. You are free from them. They are still stuck there. They probably envy you.</p><p> </p><p>Take care</p><p>Believe</p><p>Em</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions </p><p> </p><p>sorry for my delay in responding keeping busy , I don’t mind blues music I just picked it cause I felt blue and like light blue as a colour. I’m very qualified In my job I  have lots of experience &amp; yeah but not sure if it’s something I want to continue in .rehab has not started yet . In fact I had a meeting with my previous work fri and of course it was a pre termination meeting ( even thou they technically fired me a month ago they just forgot doing the pre medical release forms ( which I’m checking with WC if I have to complete cause if I don’t have to i won’t submit them . I’m very much thinking of going unfair dismissal as it certainly meets the criteria as they were readvertise my job literally one week after say they had no jobs for me so they are caught with their fingers in the pie so to speak . The meeting was mostly me telling them the horrific experience I’ve had working for them I was mostly met with stunned silence &amp; looks of completely uncomfortable by my manager so but the whole thing keeps replaying in my mind on a loop it’s like PTSD doing all I can to say busy keep happy thoughts made new garden beds ect but yes I think my sister noticed the other day my mood shift on my face like I can’t hide it she knows  what I’ve bee b thru  but I go off into this place and I can’t even describe it it’s like a black hole and I think a lot of thoughts In there not negative not anything just ruminating and u know stuff. I just hope I get better I’m certainly booking in with my Dr and counseling this week so I can hopefully process the next parts . I’m sick of these people destroying my life .  Hope alls well with u and your covid is gone <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":smiling_face_with_halo:\">😇</span></p></div>", "date": "21-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues,</p><p> </p><p>Reply to people, when and if you can.</p><p>I am not on these forums every day either and have taken a bit of a break just recently.</p><p> </p><p>I am not surprised that \"the whole thing keeps on replaying in your mind on a loop.</p><p>You are actually experiencing what occurred over and over with reports; meetings. Having to sit in the company of your manager would be triggering. Personally I don't know why they put people through this as it can be very traumatising for some and they do not know who \"the some\" are.</p><p>This is the downside of Workcover and will be similar if you decide to follow the trail of unfair dismissal.</p><p>You have every right to lodge a claim.</p><p>I was not sure if you had realised what lies ahead if the claim is followed through with.</p><p>Do you have a strong advocate to have with you throughout the process if you decide to lodge an unfair dismissal claim?</p><p>I am not thinking workcover. An impartial advocate.</p><p> </p><p>Are there skills and knowledge gained through your qualifications already achieved that can be used in a totally different field of work and or role?</p><p>Perhaps you can talk about strategies to help you move past this ordeal with your counsellor.</p><p>I hope that you are able to receive the support that you deserve and move on from such a draining experience; regardless of whatever choice you make.</p><p>Remember that you have done nothing wrong.</p><p>The system is set to exhaust people as a deterrent. This is masked by their \"processes and procedures\".</p><p>Look after yourself.</p><p> </p><p>Em</p></div>", "date": "26-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions</p><p> </p><p>WC was very surprised about this meeting &amp; the context of it cause I was technically terminated a month ago  just my job or non job being dodgier they lie all the time even lied to WC regarding paying out my annual leave &amp; entitlement which my work hasn’t and lied to WC telling them that I was paid out so yeah in another battle to get my entitlements as well , so yes I’ve had counselling since im trying to focus on the future . In regards to my experience &amp; qualification I’m not sure if it’s transferable im in aged care which says a lot, I’ve done other jobs before delving into aged care it’s just getting foot in door so to speak.  Hope ur doing ok . Thanks 4 your kindness <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":panda_face:\">🐼</span></p></div>", "date": "26-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hi Blues23, Believe me your not alone, I've been off work for most of 14 months after getting injured at work. Had surgery and physio and then rtw provider who seems to be more interested in keeping the company happy than me. I guess your luckier than me as I cant return to my previous job ever so will soon be unemployed of doing some pointless task given to me by my rtw provider.</p><p>I do intend to look for different work once all this is over but who knows what the future will hold.</p><p>Funny how companies seem the same when it comes to rtw and mental health problems, lack of care and compassion.  The best way I've found is to play the game they want you to play and let them feel they're in control until a situation arises where you can win.</p><p>How's it been since you posted this?</p></div>", "date": "26-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi TBR </p><p> </p><p>sorry about your injury &amp; work situation , it seems to be the way with some works they just are not interested in helping people RTW in any industry they terminate, terminate or push y out the door like I was , I can’t return to my previous employer ( potentially job ) too . The future can be a scary thought , I am technically unemployed now actually but waiting for occupational rehab to start in hopes they can assist in retraining to new role or just find a new job doing anything really . Has your WC provider been ok ? Are they helping u find new job ? Have you been able to get thru everything ok ? Me myself im trying to be ok ( fake it til I make it ) just taking my time with things , how about yourself? </p></div>", "date": "26-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hi Blues23</p><p>your so right, spend years working for a company and as soon as you get injured its seeya. Your so right about the future, I'm technically unemployed now as well. RTW provider is looking for new role for me but nothing guaranteed but once the case is over can look for myself as well. I don't trust them to much as think there in insurers and employers side rather than mine. I play the game and stick to the rtw rules, got a decent lawyer so working on that as well. So far I'm still getting paid to sit at home and stew, play games on phone. I know what you mean Blues, I try to be ok and put on the brave face most of the time, got to fake it to make it and take your time with everything. Got my doctor involved as well and speak to my mental health chick but think that's running out of time, doctor sent me to other mental health psych but they wanted $130.00 a session so got advised to try here.</p><p>How are you finding it Blues. How'd you feel about things.... </p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’m of the opinion that my job was always dodgy my sister told me as soon as u go to WC they will boot u or try to push u out which she’s right I knew it too but what choice do u have when injured at work , I’m kinda grateful WC is involved it’s a hard thing going through their rules ext but it’s better to recover at home than try to go back to work too soon after and then in same situation as b4 . Myself I’m up &amp; down and very very angry like very at my job for lying and putting me thru more stress when I was starting to feel better a little. I don’t have a lawyer but looking for one but it’s so expensive and not sure that I can afford it.  I’m still having treatment via Wc and it’s helpful , do u have help thru ur capacity certificate 4 ur mental health ? as Wc should b paying 4 it not by u if u have a mental health injury due to work . </p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/49414", "content": "<p>Hey Blues, </p><p>Your spot on, you get work becos its what's expected of you and if someone offers you work you grab it hoping it will work out and at least its wages to spend lol. I went into work on Monday as part of my rtw and was told there's nothing we can give you to fit your restrictions (that's a lie) so they said go home. I informed my rtw provider and now I'm at home waiting waiting waiting for something to happen. Just spoke to my psych on the phone and you know its the best thing that's happened to me in over a year, out of a toxic workplace, sounds like the same goes for you if you think about it</p><p>If your injured physically or with mental health issues you cant handle them alone all the time so any help including wc is better than no help. </p><p>Seems we both go through a mix of emotions, anger, sadness, loss, regret etc all leads to a stressed depressed feeling of why me. </p><p>As for a lawyer, you know you can get one, No win No fee which means if you don't win your case against the insurer / work its no charge, that's what I have and the first consult is free. Think its important as they know all the rules and can help you navigate the law to get some kind of result from a physical or mental health aspect.</p><p>I got various treatment people through my own effort and my rtw provider in the end and my doctor sent a referral off to another psych but was to expensive and the insurer wouldn't pay for it but they told me about BB, guess I was meant to be here if you believe in fate.</p><p>Glad your help is doing something to improve your mental health Blues, its not easy to get help through a wc or insurer for mental health but worth keep trying, for me i have my psych from my rtw provider and BB. WC should be paying for it as should the company insurers but that's also admitting liability for your mental health and they don't like doing that as it could lead to a bigger pay-out or a TPD percentage.</p><p>So how are you feeling today, guess your sat around same as me atm. What do you do to pass time a make your self feel better about things. </p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>I’ve been on work cover for around 10/11 months due to work place injury, bullying, assault and numerous other things happend I’ve been sent to a new location ( temporarily) while I adjust to returning to work , today was first day back It was hard I was lumped in a role I’ve never done ( receptionist) Recived no training just answer phones take notes which is way stressing when I don’t know clients procedures or  even the telephone systems or who to ask for help no one was available despite me asking numerous times for help . I can’t say how I felt after leaving work all of 3 hours work left me sweating profusely and literally panicked state of mind then to top it off I got a snarky email from my nasty return to work co ordinator due to apparently me missing something in a timesheet I submitted and that was my fault given I’ve never had to do timesheets and again no one was around to assist me to complete these tasks . My dad says I should quit and after today I feel I should I I’mvery overwhelmed by today’s awful work day and told my new boss that too . I dread going into work tomorrow , how do others deal with returning to work after long absence and mental health problems I have anxiety and depression Re what happened at my original work site yes I am requesting a new return to work co ordinator </p></div>", "date": "11-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/31621", "content": "<p>Hi Blue23,</p><p> </p><p>Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a challenging time, returning to work after a long-term absence can be quite difficult.</p><p> </p><p>Based on your description, it seems that your company's management could be more supportive. While they have taken steps to accommodate you, such as relocating you to another site and assigning non-physical work to prevent further injury and aid in recovery, it's crucial that they also help you adapt to your current temporary work arrangement.</p><p> </p><p>Since you have already requested assistance multiple times, I recommend escalating the matter to your Human Resources department. They understand the importance of providing genuine support for employees returning to work, as failure to do so may put the company at legal risk.</p><p> </p><p>Additionally, you may want to consider your father's suggestion of seeking a job that better suits your needs. It's unlikely that your current employer will be able to make significant improvements in management quality within a short time frame, even if some team members are willing to do so. If you decide to pursue a new job, now would be an ideal time to start planning for your future and preparing for interviews. Be patient, be sure to look for roles that are less demanding in order to minimize stress.</p><p> </p><p>Wish you the best in your endeavors. Remember, things can and will get better.<br>Mark</p></div>", "date": "12-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/11269", "content": "<p>Hi blues23</p><p>So sorry to hear about your workplace injuries. I want to congratulate you on your attempt to return to work. I know it’s a challenge, particularly as you received a shocking lack of support.</p><p>I’m glad that you’ve communicated your concerns in the workplace, but please also ensure that your company’s insurer knows what happened. The insurer wants you back to work (to reduce its costs) safely (to avoid additional claim costs) and will remind your employer of its obligations.</p><p>I wouldn’t quit without knowing what will happen to your claim, as you are not yet ready for full time work and you may struggle to find suitable employment and your medical expenses could continue into the future.</p><p>See if you can give it a week. Fill the timesheet out carefully and make sure there is a paper trail of any concerns you have. (I would be asking for training as a minimum.) I say this from my experience as an employer because you also have an obligation to return to work in good faith and if you don’t do this your employer can take action against you. I realise this isn’t what’s happening here but you don’t want to give your employer any ammunition to use against you.</p><p>If the situation has not improved in a week reach out the insurance case manager and ask them to facilitate a meeting with your employer.</p><p>Good luck.</p><p>Kind thoughts to you</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>It’s my 2nd week back so many people are asking me questions why am I at this work place and not the previous work site ( I was bullied injured ect ect ) been on work cover for 11 months and was at the original site for 11 months . I’m getting questions of how &amp; why and was it this and that it’s frankly becoming quite annoying I can’t discuss what happened to me as it’s confidential and if I discuss it it will spread like wildfire and I’m in no way wanting more drama than I already have returning to work it’s quite hard these employees know nothing of what I feel having to be questioned like I have and stuff it’s like I can’t tell u so why ask it may be curious or gossip festing on the staff’s behalf but I still can’t say anything no matter how much they badger me . How do I handle this as it’s becoming a thing this questions and I’m like I can’t even discuss it so not sure how to go about it really.</p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Hello blues23</p><p> </p><p>Your post caught my attention by surprise.</p><p>Possibly I was drawn to your words as I have also been subjected to workplace bullying and more.</p><p>It is an horrendous journey where the so called areas of support can only serve to add to the trauma in my case.</p><p>I hope that you have some ongoing support outside of workcover for the trauma incurred from your experiences. Request a referral from your personal gp not workcover.</p><p>You are extremely brave and courageous returning to work whether by choice or not.</p><p> </p><p>I have read that this treatment is rampant across most workforces in areas you and I would not believe.</p><p> </p><p>Is your manager aware of your confidential situation and  circumstances? Have they communicated to all staff that you are returning to work after recovering and rehabilitating from a medical condition?</p><p>That is all that needs to and should be disclosed. Nothing more? The subject is not to be brought up.</p><p>Do not discuss the reasons why with anyone. Not even your manager.</p><p>If someone befriends you and tries to find out. Reply with thank you for asking but I am focussing on my continuing to feel better and moving forward. I choose not to think about the past.</p><p> </p><p>A medical letter should be sent to your manager or management higher stating only that you are now deemed fit to return to work after recovering and rehabilitating from a medical condition.</p><p>Make an appointment with your personal gp and explain what is now happening and that you need a letter addressed to the management of your company saying exactly the above and that all staff are to be informed.</p><p>In order for you to be able to perform your duties to the best of your ability and in the interests of all  other staff members and management your medical condition is not to be questioned. Thank you for respecting these requirements.</p><p>They would be familiar with this scenario and may have better suggestions.</p><p>Management do have to be accountable and the behaviour of staff as a whole is unacceptable.</p><p>Everything that you feel is valid and do not allow yourself to go down the path of questioning you.</p><p>You are showing up. You have rights as a human being apart from an employee.</p><p>There should also be human resources or a person who handles this kind of treatment.</p><p> </p><p>This is a start.</p><p>Then try to sort out the sincere people from the troublemakers without being noticed.</p><p>They are there. Probably hiding.</p><p>I will follow your post should you</p><p> </p><p>Lastly well done in landing here and writing about this.</p><p>Many cannot face this.</p><p>You have great strength and you will find a way to get through this.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi Emotions </p><p> </p><p>thank you for your reply and advise I will definitely discuss it with my GP I did discuss it today with my new manager but she just shrugged her shoulders I don’t entirely know what has been disclosed by my RTWC no idea what has been said of my recovery I only have partial  capacity I assumed all staff knew I was returning to work but I face this sort of questioning every time I go into work and I’m like constantly saying I can’t discuss it I can’t discuss it and it’s quite irritating for me as it triggers memories of my time in my old workplace and then I feel guilt / sick anxious the rest of the day all I’m trying to do is get on with my day and not fester on all this hate mongers from this new work they are literally in shock that im there at all and it’s like the look on their faces is like why is she here what happened I get it but I can’t discuss it and I won’t discuss it </p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/2579", "content": "<p>If many people are asking you the same questions, then it is likely the rumours have already been circulating (and possibly someone clumsily or vindictively leaked sensitive information). Unfortunately, your silence only fuels the curiosity and perpetuates gossip - such is the nature of human behaviour and it sounds like you're feeling goaded as one who prods a caged animal.</p><p>My suggestion is to dismiss such questions with a humorous quip about wanting to be closer to the beach or some other nonsense to put them off guard and deflect the attention. Alternatively, respond with a question asking why this is so important or relevant to them - perhaps ask why <em>they</em> think you are here. This may provide some useful insight into the background chatter.</p><p>As with all newcomers, there is a natural interest to establish a pecking order (with many vying for supremacy or simply out to score points) so it may be fairly innocuous behaviour exacerbated only by your secrecy. On some occasions it can be the need to sus out if you are 'genuine' and not someone planted to report on work practices.</p><p>However, you may be overlaying your past experience onto this similar environment which has understandably heightened your senses to intimidation - remember you are still recovering and this will take some time to adjust and build confidence again.</p></div>", "date": "25-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Thank you for your reply all good points I know there is some toxic stuff between the two sites which I have no interest in participating in as toxic leads to toxic and once I participate  in it I can become toxic myself which is something that just doesn’t sit right with me to chat about what happened to me at work in a different work site like it’s not relevant to why I’m at work I’m at work to support myself &amp; my daughter that is all I understand the curiosity but honestly it annoys me a lot as it’s like why is it their  business it not happening to them so move on , I will try these attempts at deflecting and redirecting the questions if it continues to be too much I’ll complain about it again to a more senior person and make it clear it’s not a point of discussion and I don’t want to discuss it or add to the already fractured relationships between the two work sites like honestly these people behave in ways I’m not accustomed to and it’s like weird and unsettling and quite childish it’s like if u hate each other go about it but at least just let it be like what’s the point of poking at it it change’s nothing </p></div>", "date": "26-05-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/47426", "content": "<p>Sorry to hear that nothing formal in place</p><p>There are policies in place around people returning to work after work cover.</p><p>Work cover are accountable and so are your management in theory.</p><p>It sounds as though your manager does not have the power from above management to do her job (did you say she?) as in \"manage\". A middle management issue that is rife these days.</p><p>Nevertheless you still have rights and it really is up to you how you feel.</p><p>How do you want to be treated?</p><p>Do you want it to just all go away, fade so that you can just get on with your job?</p><p>Or do you want to be treated with respect as a human being that every single person deserves?</p><p>How are you coping with your feelings and thoughts and are these impacting your personal life or all areas of your life as well as work?</p><p>There are advocates and resources but sometimes it takes a while to find ones that are helpful.</p><p>Some people believe ignore it or speak about it.</p><p>Ask yourself what you believe before you make any decisions as your choice can impact you further down the track and you must put you first.</p><p>I really hope that you have some help here.</p><p>Fairwork ombudsman covers this stuff. They have a huge workload yes. You still are entitled to their help and can make the call if you have not already. They might give you further directions.</p><p>There are other avenues.</p><p>Have you telephoned the Beyond Blue helpline? They have a list of resources and might be able to redirect you also.</p><p>Em</p><p>  </p></div>", "date": "02-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" }, { "author": "user-id/43559", "content": "<p>Hi emotions </p><p> </p><p>things well are not so good was progressing along last weeks prior my boss told me a different roster than what my return to work plan is ( I of course confused and followed my bosses directions only to find out on finishing shift she was wrong to make me work longer than expected and on my day off she contacted me basically accusing me of not being at work on my day off which is listed as not working on my return to work plan.  It very much got to me that phone call had an anxiety attack for hours hardly slept for worrying over it it’s been challenging to say the least and because there’s not much support in place I feel very bad almost  TV back to square 1 just because of this phone call on my day off I’m speaking to my GP tomorrow maybe to reduce my work hours drop a day due to the stress I’ve had these past few weeks I’m still pretty wired and worried if I change my hours gives my work more reason to be more difficult than already is . I don’t mind the place I’m working at but I really prefer people leave me alone most of the time I have put a face on and don’t even be myself it’s like my coverage </p></div>", "date": "14-06-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/returned-to-work/td-p/565351" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49441", "content": "<p>Am 87 years old, female. Over the years have suffered anxiety &amp; received good help from an extra hour with particularly kind GPs. At present these Drs have more worries to deal with so am looking for other help.</p><p>I appear confident to friends but underneath moving into groups of people can be worrying. Having a few medical problems lately has brought this on again, I want to get going, but am finding it very hard.</p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/577478" }, { "author": "user-id/19707", "content": "<p>Hi and welcome</p><p> </p><p>I'm 67yo and had high anxiety in my 20's and it peaked at 31yo with one panic attack originally diagnosed as a heart attack.</p><p> </p><p>I embarked on a mixture of learned relaxation techniques and my own life changes to almost cure myself but it took many years.</p><p> </p><p>The best lived experiences I can pass onto you now is watching youtube videos that I will select for you. All you have to do is put them into google.</p><p> </p><p>Maharaji prem rawat sunset</p><p>Maharaji prem rawat all is well</p><p>Maharaji prem rawat the perfect instrument</p><p>Maharaji prem rawat appreciation</p><p> </p><p>He has many more on Youtube so I hope you find them. I like to relax on bed while listening to them taking slow deep breaths.</p><p> </p><p>The other factors I tried and was successful at was life changes. I did away with clubs altogether even though friends try to get me into the mens shed, nope it isnt for me. I found a semi hermit life far better. I still socialise but not outwardly joining groups to do it, if I'm approached thats ok, I'll join in and leave after a while slowly so I'm not missed.</p><p> </p><p>Medical, family issues can have a remarkably negative effect upon us mentally. It could also be a cycle. </p><p> </p><p>I think the Drs dont mind at all treating you, you are as important as all the other patients. It could be a perception and being older you might think you are bothering others, but you are important.</p><p> </p><p><strong>PETAL POWER   </strong>  to 81oct</p><p> </p><p>On your saddest day</p><p>You take a daisy flower</p><p>You pick petal for each of your woes</p><p>And count them by the hour</p><p> </p><p>And when they become a stem</p><p>And petals line the floor</p><p>Gather them up in your loving arms</p><p>Put them in your store</p><p> </p><p>When you enter spirit land</p><p>It be snowing like Daisy Dell</p><p>Flowers thrown in celebration</p><p>By faces you can tell</p><p> </p><p>Then you throw your own</p><p>And you will include the stems</p><p>Cause that’s what bound these petals together</p><p>A meaning to and end</p><p> </p><p>Loved ones will pick up the last flower</p><p>Of this daisy chain</p><p>Reunited and delighted</p><p>Connected to loved ones once again</p><p> </p><p>A simple daisy flower</p><p>Messages you can’t ignore</p><p>A petal for each of your woes</p><p>Are littering the floor</p><p> </p><p>So on your saddest days</p><p>You take a daisy flower</p><p>Feel free to pick a petal for each of your woes</p><p>And count them by the hour</p><p> </p><p>For your heart will glue them all together again</p><p>When it’s time to travel above</p><p>For your loved ones  a gift in your pocket</p><p>The daisy chain of love…..</p><p> </p><p>TonyWK</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/anxiety/td-p/577478" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>The snow flake where falling on all around on the the beautiful forest and the sun was just appearing as the day was comming into been and little bear got up and said yappee it's finally christmas and i getto have wonderful ten presents this year and he was very happy.</p><p> </p><p>This was the begining f the story</p><p> </p><p>Santa was in his work shop and one of the elves asked santa what do we get little bear for christmas . Santa says let's give him the greatest gift of all the present of giving and caring for others it is a present of the heart. I will send little bear three animals to give him guidance the white reindeer, the grizzly bear and the white wolf. </p><p> </p><p>Every animal will show him different stories of why gving is important help others in need at christmas.</p><p> </p><p>little bear decided to go for a walk in the forest and then all of a sudden the white reindeer appeared and took little into the forest where the reindeer showed little the animals in the forest that had lees food so little bear and threindeer went to the kitchen and started cooking soup and meals and feeding the poor and talking the community and understanding what the community was going through.</p><p> </p><p>The reindeer said you must always be gratful for the food you have and always say to your mum and dad I love you and appreciate your family at christmas.</p><p> </p><p>Then little bear was back on the path in the forest and the next gaurdian he cama accross was the grizzly bear and the bears was a wizard in the forest. He took little bear to some house that where not finished and they went building and the bear taught little how to build and create things out of timber and bricks.</p><p> </p><p>Gandoff said always be gratful for your hame and always look after it because there are other littles bears in the world that don't have homes and families that love them.</p><p> </p><p>Then little bear was back on the snow flake path</p><p> </p><p>He started walking down the path again and he came to the last creature in the forest the white wolf. The wolf spoke to little bear about hour and always doing the good and rightous path and always looking after and doing good for others in the community. Like she said there are animals in the forest with big hearts and the lways listen to there parents and do the right thing by family and friends.</p><p> </p><p>She took little bear to see all his friends in the forest and they all started to sing christmas songs in the forest and they had beautiful and powerful flame of hope and togetherness.</p><p> </p><p>At christmas light the candle of hope and great tiding and apple pie for al</p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "29-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/the-beautiful-story-of-the-falling-snow-flake/td-p/577473" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49039", "content": "<p class=\"\"><span>Hi All,</span></p><p class=\"\"><span>Sorry for the sulk!</span></p><p class=\"\"><span>Due to my close friendships with 2 close friends in the Quora group, I want to remain anonymous.</span></p><p class=\"\"><span>During our conversation, both of them flagged up red flags that I needed to see a mental health person and take some therapy. I am not certain what caused that feeling based on our discussion.</span></p><p class=\"\"><span>In a nutshell, my wife and I moved to Australia from the UK several years ago and although she has settled in, I am not. I have always wanted to return, however with a few children and a couple of houses, it seems an unrealistic goal to reach. </span><span>The message I was sending to my friends in both conversations was that I was uneasy here and was unable to see anything positive in what I had accomplished. As a result of the manner in which I presented my topics, I appeared to be negative in my approach, despite being thoughtful and content about my circumstances.</span></p><p class=\"\"><span>In both instances, they advised me to take some time to reflect upon my current situation before making a decision. However, if I leap into seeking assistance, what will be the outcome of that?</span></p></div>", "date": "19-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/conundrum-of-staying/td-p/574813" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>Dear Jimy~</p><p>Welcome here to the forum. It's a good place to come ot get other people's perspectives, sometimes one is too close oneself.</p><p> </p><p>I guss the first thing to say is you sound homesick. This can be a very natural reaction to a change of circumstances, particularly such a big one as changing countries. Australia has a fair few differences to the UK and there could be a lot to miss.</p><p> </p><p>The second thing is you do not seem to have found -as yet - your niche where you have satisfaction and accomplishment here. It's a pity you do not see yourself has having done anything positive, though I suspect you are mistaken. Bringing up a family is a big thing in itself. Changing countries wiht a family successfully is another.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure these constitute a mental health issue, though I'll stress I'm no doctor. I would think it a matter of degree on how much it affects your life.</p><p> </p><p>There would be no harm in visiting a doctor for a checkup and see what they say. You are after all in charge and can weight up their words for yourself.</p><p> </p><p>Are you trying to deal with this all by yourself or do you have support - possibly talking matters over with your wife?</p><p> </p><p>Just as an aside I went back for a visit to the UK some time after I came out. I found things had changed and my memories did not correspond with what I found over there, so I was glad to get back here.</p><p> </p><p>Then again Ronald Biggs (the Great Train Robber) voluntarily returned to the UK towards the end of his life being so homesick as to come back knowing he would face long imprisonment - it can be a pretty powerful feeling.</p><p> </p><p>I hope to talk with you again</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "20-09-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/conundrum-of-staying/td-p/574813" }, { "author": "user-id/49039", "content": "<p>Dear Croix,</p><p>I wanted to express my gratitude for the warm welcome and your considerate response. It's comforting to have the chance to connect with others and gain fresh perspectives, particularly during a period of significant life changes. You're absolutely correct; homesickness has been a part of my experience since relocating to Australia, but I'm gradually letting go of it. After all, if it were just homesickness, I wouldn't have been contemplating the purchase of a house, which certainly ties you more to a place. As we age and shoulder more responsibilities, our perspectives inevitably shift.</p><p>Your insight into not feeling a strong sense of accomplishment here truly resonates with me. It's possible that I may have underestimated the significance of raising a family and successfully adapting to a new country. It's a perspective I plan to deeply contemplate.</p><p>I value your suggestion to consider a doctor's checkup, but I'm uncertain about its value, considering the challenges of accessibility and expense, particularly with the growing interest rates. I might prefer to invest the money in something more worthwhile. For now, I've been handling these emotions independently, as I'm not entirely comfortable sharing them with my wife, who doesn't handle stress easily.</p><p>Your personal story of visiting the UK after residing in Australia is a thought-provoking one. It serves as a reminder of how time and changing perspectives can alter our perceptions.</p><p>I eagerly anticipate further discussions and sincerely appreciate your support.</p><p>Warm regards, Jimmy</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/conundrum-of-staying/td-p/574813" }, { "author": "user-id/32332", "content": "<p>DearJimmy~</p><p> </p><p>Yes, I recently looked on Google Earth at the places I lived in England and Wales. Just those remote images reminded me that things do not stay the same. Houses gone, car parks built and motorways where there were narrow roads are just some of the things i noticed.</p><p> </p><p>Even London's underground, wiht its red rattly carriages, graffiti and distinctive smell of ozone seems to have been replaced by clean sleek monsters.</p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you may be starting to see exactly what you have accomplished, sometimes one is so busy doing it one fails to realise hte huge accomplishments involved. Do you mind if I ask if you have managed to find employment?</p><p> </p><p>Building a house is certainly a sign you are accepting this transfer, and it is probably a good time ot buy, now that mortgages have already increased. There would be nothing worse than banking on modest repayments only to find them radically increased.</p><p> </p><p>While you may feel seeking medical support is not appropriate at the moment please bear in mind it is those two friends who know yoou that have noticed a change. Perhaps a matter for future thought if you start to feel excessively sad or that things will not work out well.</p><p> </p><p>Croix</p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/conundrum-of-staying/td-p/574813" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I'm still 2 weeks into my new medication. I still haven't seen a psychologist and I know I need to. But I'm so scared for some reason. </p><p> </p><p>I'm also afraid that no matter how much I go to therapy, or I take care of my mental and physical health or how much coping mechanisms and healthy practices I adapt into my life, I'll always feel like there is smth wrong. Smth is off. I will always feel shitty.</p><p> </p><p>Why am so afraid of trying? I feel so different from everyone around me. I can barely understand myself, I doubt anyone can understand me.</p><p> </p><p>I made another post on here about all the things I still need to overcome, but I'm so scared of doing it alone, but also afraid of going to see a psychologist. </p><p> </p><p>I only saw a psychiatrist once so far and will see them in the future as well. But I never know what to say, how to act, what to do. Why is it so hard? Shouldn't I feel relieved to talk about all this after keeping it all in? </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello.</p><p> </p><p>those questions you raised are perfectly natural. While I know there are people who have had issues with a therapist for many and different reasons, there are also many that would have found the right one. And, there would would be both good and bad therapists.</p><p> </p><p>Psychologists are trained professionals committed to helping individuals like you. They won't lie to you or play a role; their primary goal is to support your mental well-being. You don't need to worry about them thinking you're crazy; they understand the complexities of the human mind.</p><p> </p><p>Remember that seeking help is a brave and responsible step. Psychologists are there to assist you and won't make things worse. They're skilled at helping individuals navigate their emotions and challenges.</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/3" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I'm still 2 weeks into my new medication. I still haven't seen a psychologist and I know I need to. But I'm so scared for some reason. </p><p> </p><p>I'm also afraid that no matter how much I go to therapy, or I take care of my mental and physical health or how much coping mechanisms and healthy practices I adapt into my life, I'll always feel like there is smth wrong. Smth is off. I will always feel shitty.</p><p> </p><p>Why am so afraid of trying? I feel so different from everyone around me. I can barely understand myself, I doubt anyone can understand me.</p><p> </p><p>I made another post on here about all the things I still need to overcome, but I'm so scared of doing it alone, but also afraid of going to see a psychologist. </p><p> </p><p>I only saw a psychiatrist once so far and will see them in the future as well. But I never know what to say, how to act, what to do. Why is it so hard? Shouldn't I feel relieved to talk about all this after keeping it all in? </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I'm constantly conscious of how I feel. But for the last couple days, I've been trying to get out of my head. And it's been working well.</p><p> </p><p>Until today, where I remembered how I was before, everything im scared of, all the things I've been through, and I just got sad. Like hopeless all over again.</p><p> </p><p>I've been able to do things I couldn't a week ago. But here I am again, just down. Why can't I just be happy with where I'm at? I still got so much to overcome (which is overwhelming, but at least I got goals and things to do right?)</p><p> </p><p>It's weird, but I can't stop imagining myself going crazy and crying painfully. Like I'm some character destined for destruction. I keep imagining these stories of me being sad, i can't stop day dreaming. </p><p> </p><p>I want to accept that I have sever anxiety and depression, but no matter how hard I try to, I just can't. It make me feel so sad.</p><p> </p><p>I'm only 16 days into my new meds. Which is nothing but I'm also afraid of it working because then I'll have to actually start doing things and living. Which scares me. </p><p> </p><p>Even when I feel okay, I'm never fully okay.</p><p> </p><p>I'm so scared of going crazy or insane because my brain is always sad or scared. I don't want to go insane. </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p>This looks like an uphill slog for you, so when you fall back, what are you going to do?</p><p>What most people do is get stubborn &amp; get up &amp; keep going. You know where you want to go, so look towards that goal &amp; keep going. There will be setbacks, days when it all seems too hard, when even giving yourself a sponge bath frightens you - that's when you need to draw upon your strengths of courage &amp; perseverance.</p><p>Yes, you have those things, which can get you past the fear, shame &amp; doubt.</p><p> </p><p>&amp; Remember, you have community members here who support you, because you are a fellow human being who deserves a better life than what you have now.</p><p> </p><p>I have also found that when I have done small things, even one thing to care for myself each day, at the end of the day I don't say it was a wasted day. Even the attempt to do something is of value.</p><p> </p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty </p></div>", "date": "10-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I struggle with exercising, taking showers and going out due to my emetophobia and agoraphobia. </p><p> </p><p>I've been told by my psychiatrist that I need to start doing all those things to better my severe anxiety and depression. </p><p> </p><p>I am only going out like once a week and I'm still struggling to exercise (especially) and shower. </p><p> </p><p>Everytime I go outside, I feel sick because of how out of shape I am. And I feel afraid that this will just be forever. </p><p> </p><p>I'm afraid of exercising due to my fear of vomiting or fainting, and my agoraphobia makes it worse because having anxiety outside of my house (even just in my backyard) terrifies me. </p><p> </p><p>So exercising in my backyard is still hard. I just feel like a faliure and weak. I can't even get myself to walk in my backyard. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know how to get myself to start and keep going. I'm so scared it's so annoying. </p><p> </p><p>And the thing is, I know I'm capable of doing it due to evidence of the past and present. My fear of going out has lessened alot and I used to be able to walk for hours in the past as well as did jumprope for six months. </p><p> </p><p>I just hate feeling so physically tired and weak when I do any movement. Just walking makes me feel so sick and dizzy. I hate it. </p><p> </p><p>Is there any tips to help. Because I feel like I don't have ppl that understand me fully in my house. So I feel like I'm getting through all of this on my own and my brain is finding it hard handling so much. </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>Ever since I left the psych hospital, I started following the rules there at home.</p><p> </p><ul><li>Eat breakfast at 9am (2 butter and jam sandwiches with cup of tea.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>lunch at 12/1pm (try to eat protein and vegetables)</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>dinner at 5/6pm (I try to eat vegetables and protein).</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>I try to drink a bottle between each meal and sometimes more.</li></ul><p> </p><ul><li>I eat yogurt at 7pm because its the only thing that makes me happy (didn't do this at the hospital because I didn't feel like snacking then). </li></ul><p> </p><p>Lately I've been feeling like snacking due to the meds and my apetite coming back, but whenever I feel like snacking, I panic because my routine is changing. But if I don't snack, I start panicking about puking or fainting. </p><p> </p><p>As well as, the yogurt brand I eat at 7pm had to change, which is causing me to panic even tho it's the same flavor and taste. </p><p> </p><p>I just freak out from the tiniest interference in my routine. Tiniest. </p><p> </p><p>I have to start incorporating exercise, showers and going out more into routine. </p><p> </p><p>But I've become to attached to the simple one I got after the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>Theres also alot of other things in the future that are going to dirupt and change my routine, which I find myself constantly thinking about and finding a routine that I go over and over to prepare myself some how. </p><p> </p><p>It's so exhausting to be affected by every. Little. Thing. </p><p> </p><p>What do I do? I know I have to start slow, but I'm so afraid I make one wrong move and it all goes bad and I'm going to have to start from square one all over again. </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I forgot to add, </p><p> </p><p>Whenever I eat later than the time in my routine, I start feeling dizzy, nauseous and weak. Because I think I'm going to faint or puke or d.e if I don't eat on time.</p><p> </p><p>I take sleeping meds at 10pm and I have to get off them soon, which my brain tells me I'm addicted to them.</p></div>", "date": "12-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I haven't been able to see a psychologist yet because life has been busy. But I've been told many times by my psychiatrist and others to see one. Soon I'll go get a refferal. </p><p> </p><p>But I find myself sorta hesitating. What if questions run around in my head all the time. </p><p> </p><ul><li>What if I get someone that lies to me? </li><li>What if their an actor? </li><li>What if they won't believe me? </li><li>What if they will think I'm crazy? </li><li>What if I am crazy and I don't even know? </li><li>What if they won't help? </li><li>What if it makes things worse? </li><li>What if I can't handle it?</li></ul><p> </p><p>What I do, please help. </p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/19517", "content": "<p>Hi Alel, </p><p>I am really sorry you are experiencing so much anxiety - that's a lot of questions and head noise, I can't imagine how draining that must be. It sounds like where you find yourself now is not where you want to be and that you are needing some support - when these intense thoughts/questions come up it may be helpful to remind yourself why you do want to seek help. It can take a couple of clinicians to find someone you connect with and feel comfortable with, but engaging in therapy is very unlikely to make things worse. It may also help to share these questions and thoughts with your psychologist so that they can help you to dispel them - the psychologist is there to support you and guide you, not to judge you.</p><p>I am sorry if this was not the answer you were looking for. But please do not hesitate to reply if and when you feel up to it. We're here to listen.</p><p>Take care Alel. </p></div>", "date": "19-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I hate that no matter how much progress I make, there will always be at least one basic thing that I will struggle with everyday. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe taking a shower today was easy, but tommorow it caused me a panic attacks.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe yesterday I was okay with going to the bathroom alone, but next week it'll be the reason I cant go back to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe in fine with making and eating my food today, but couple days ago, cooking and eating was making me feel nauseous and dizzy from how much it overwhelmed me.</p><p> </p><p>There will always be struggle. Everyday. And I just have to accept that? </p><p> </p><p>I can't depend on my family forever. I need to live on my own and depend on myself. I need to be able to take care of myself without needing another person<span>. I need to be able to go to places or meet people without having panic attacks because I'm alone. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>I need to be able to handle hard situations without crying to my family or giving up until they help me. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>It's embarrassing and erasing any chance I have to develop skills. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>I need skills. </span></p><p> </p><p><span>My whole life has been like this. </span></p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi Alel</p><p> </p><p>I know it's easy for me to say but try not to be too hard on yourself. I think with our circumstances changing on a day to day basis, for one reason or another or in one way or another, one day can be very different to the next.</p><p> </p><p>I've found it helps in being able to identify my circumstances, this way I'm not so hard on myself. For example, I can have a whole stack of triggers in one day which can lead me to feel more stressed or more exhausted the next day. Also, while today I could be channeling the super confident 'I got this!' part of me, tomorrow I could be completely tapped into the inner critic in me, believing everything it says ('You're hopeless. You're always going to struggle' etc). No matter how hard I try, there are some days where I just can't tap back into my super confident self. So, while I can try and identify the circumstances, I also have to be able to identify what natural aspect of me is in play.</p><p> </p><p>I think just about everyone has an inner critic and inner analyst in them. While the inner critic is cruel and brutal at times, the analyst can be very matter of fact. Kinda like it is a matter of fact 'You could have managed this or that differently. You could have managed your time better. You could have weeded the garden and not sat and watched Netflix if you had got off your backside'. It's all absolutely true, a fact. My inner analyst is correct. But if I mistake the inner analyst for the inner critic, it goes from being a fact to what can feel like a harsh criticism that leads me to feel like a failure. Alel, it's strange but when it comes to the many different facets that go toward making up who we are, the inner dialogue comes with different <em>tones</em>. By the way, I'm not talking about voices here, just simply inner dialogue. Our inner adventurer can have an enthusiastic tone to 'This is going to be so exciting'. Our inner sage can have a calm tone that comes with 'You need to be more loving toward yourself and not be so cruel'. Same goes for the analyst and the critic; same words but different tone. One is an analytical non judgemental tone whereas the other has a harsh nasty tone that can feel so depressing at times.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps it's your inner sage or analyst that you hear telling you 'You need skills. It's time to start gathering some new ones because life's becoming just too hard without them'.</p></div>", "date": "23-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/49307", "content": "<p>Hi Alel,</p><p>I have been in therapy for almost 12months now after secretly dealing with depression and anxiety for my whole life. I had a similar feeling as you before starting therapy, that I would always feel like there was something “wrong”. Which I have now learnt was even more a reason to start talking. I will always have anxiety so in many ways yes you will always have that feeling but you will learn how to cope with it, you will learn how to live without it ruling your existence and you will learn to accept that anxiety is simply just apart of your story, like it is mine. The scariest part is starting. Wishing you all the best </p></div>", "date": "28-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885/page/2" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I'm still 2 weeks into my new medication. I still haven't seen a psychologist and I know I need to. But I'm so scared for some reason. </p><p> </p><p>I'm also afraid that no matter how much I go to therapy, or I take care of my mental and physical health or how much coping mechanisms and healthy practices I adapt into my life, I'll always feel like there is smth wrong. Smth is off. I will always feel shitty.</p><p> </p><p>Why am so afraid of trying? I feel so different from everyone around me. I can barely understand myself, I doubt anyone can understand me.</p><p> </p><p>I made another post on here about all the things I still need to overcome, but I'm so scared of doing it alone, but also afraid of going to see a psychologist. </p><p> </p><p>I only saw a psychiatrist once so far and will see them in the future as well. But I never know what to say, how to act, what to do. Why is it so hard? Shouldn't I feel relieved to talk about all this after keeping it all in? </p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/14386", "content": "<p>hello and welcome.</p><p> </p><p>firstly, it's ok to be afraid and to be honest, I while I was not afraid of going to the first one, I was a little scared after it. That was about 4+ years ago now. Here are some things I have figured out ...</p><p> </p><ul><li>they are human also and want to help</li><li>they can be nervous meeting you for the first time</li><li>they will also have training to help you understand yourself</li></ul><p>I will also say i am not cured either. Sometimes she/they will lead the conversation and other times I will start off. And from there go down that rabbit hole of conversation and discovery. Recently we have been doing schema therapy for some deeply ingrained beliefs. And today it was about \"why i can't get angry'. (it's a long story)</p><p> </p><p>why you might think it is hard, and scared to do it alone... well, the psych is there to walk with you (or at least that is how I think of it) so perhaps not really alone. But it can also be scary (?) to find out what you discover about yourself. And then I see that as a puzzle to be solved because I don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life, and my kids and wife deserve to have me around as well. </p><p> </p><p>And you have started talking here also. And here we are in conversation. </p><p> </p><p>Listening...</p></div>", "date": "05-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/37154", "content": "<p>Hi Alel  </p><p>My name is Riss</p><p>I just read your message and I have to say it really resonated with me. You see I'm kind of in the same boat. I'm about to go to hospital to change my medication. As my current one has stopped working and my anxiety is through the roof. I to am  afraid that I won't get better and the   constant feeling of dread and panic won't go away, and yet im living proff that we will get there. Every time this has happened to me the meds stop working I ween off and get put on somthing ells and I get better. Yet I still doubt the process. I have never been to hospital before and I'm very afraid but deep down inside I know that in a few weeks I will be on the mend again. Just remember meds take time to work and when they do the sun will shine again xx</p><p> </p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/37105", "content": "<p>Hey <strong>Alel</strong> (and <strong>Riss</strong> too)</p><p> </p><p>Welcome to the forums and thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue family too</p><p> </p><p>Smallwolf's is spot on with her post. I felt the same way when my anxiety levels were awful. </p><p>Some people cant afford a psychologist/therapist to begin with. I hope you or anyone reading your helpful post can make an appointment (<em>or a double appointment)</em> with your GP as they have a better understanding about anxiety nowadays than when I trying to get help in the early 1980's with my chronic anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>Monthly counselling is always a bonus</p><p>Fortnightly....better again</p><p>When we cry in front of our counsellor/therapist the real healing begins</p><p> </p><p>Just from my own experience....If our anxiety begins to have a detrimental effect on our ability to function on day to day basis....then seeking a GP regularly is a good idea.</p><p> </p><p>Good on you for having the courage to post Alel</p><p> </p><p>Please be gentle with yourself...you deserve it</p><p> </p><p>Paul</p></div>", "date": "06-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>Does anyone have over focused depression and anxiety?</p><p> </p><p>What was your experience? </p><p> </p><p>Were you able to overcome it? How? </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I don't know what happened, but around last year, smth just switched.</p><p> </p><p>I stopped being able to do things and over time it got worse.</p><p> </p><p>Around August, I got severe anxiety and depression. Started taking medication, which didn't work quite well so now I'm taking new ones. I'm only 2 weeks into the new ones. </p><p> </p><p>I have stomach pain ALL over my right side and back pain, which is scaring me bc I'm scared of having appendicitis or kidney stones.</p><p> </p><p>My sister is sick and I'm afraid of getting sick. </p><p> </p><p>I haven't taken a shower in like 2 weeks because I'm afraid of fainting. </p><p> </p><p>I haven't exercised or walked because I'm afraid itll make me vomit. </p><p> </p><p>I'm so ashamed of being so out of shape and having no discipline what so ever.</p><p> </p><p>I just find it weird as to why all this is happening. Last year I did jump rope for 6 months straight. I used go walking for 1 or 2 hours everyday. I used to exercise, vomit everyday and still go the next day. I used to be able to take showers 3 times a week. </p><p> </p><p>And now I can't do anything. It's not like smth happened for this to happen. I just stopped going to school because I lost interest and I stayed locked at home, sitting on my phone for 12 hours a day. </p><p> </p><p>Any slight physical or mental or emotional sensations, make me panic. The smallest things in the world make me panic. </p><p> </p><p>EVERYTHING IS TRIGGERING!</p><p> </p><p>Food, weather, tasks, words, thoughts, reading, videos, games, everything.</p><p> </p><p>The only thing that makes me happy, is eating yogurt at 7pm everyday. I just wait for that to come and then I realise I did nothing to fight my anxiety and depression, so I wasted the whole day. </p></div>", "date": "07-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>I spend everyday keeping note of every little thing I feel.</p><p> </p><p>Dizziness, nausea, sore throat, stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, gas, fatigue, sleepiness, headache, tingling, ect ect. </p><p> </p><p>Everytime I feel a little smth, I panic. What if I vomit? What if I faint? What if there is smth really wrong and I need to go to the hospital? What if im dying? </p><p> </p><p>It just never ends. I just feel like sitting down the whole day and never moving so I can feel nothing. </p><p> </p><p>But then my psychiatrist tells me I can't, that I need to move and get into the habit of doing things. </p><p> </p><p>But I can't. Those sensations and feelings just terrify me. Even if I'm taking medication. </p><p> </p><p>I'm still so afraid. </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "08-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/48995", "content": "<p>TW</p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I keep seeing things about therapists or psychiatrists taking their life and I think, if people who are professionally made for fighting and helping people with mental health, and they couldn't make it, how am I? </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>Even people who were doing so well, who have such a good life, who worked on their mental health for years. Then, they just take their life. </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>How am I going to grow old and die healthy, when others who are stronger than me, can't? </p>\n\n<p> </p>\n\n<p>I apologise if this triggered anyone. I hope that no one ever dies again unless happily. </p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/37850", "content": "<p>Hello Alel</p><p>I bet there are a whole bunch of doctors, therapists &amp; psychiatrists, &amp; all sorts of people workeing very stressful jobs who you are not seeing living long lives, some healthy, some maybe not so healthy. If people in high-risk careers are able to access support for themselves, even while continuing to work, they can do it.</p><p>I wonder how many of us made attempts when we were young, only to be here now, decades later, on BB, maybe still having difficulties, maybe reaching out to help someone else, because that is the most powerful &amp; healthiest thing we can do?</p><p>For me, it has been almost 50 years since that day... lots of time, eh? I'm not in tip-top shape, but I'm here, &amp; I am feeling better about being here than I have felt about being anywhere.</p><p>It saddens me to think of those who don't feel they can reach out for support, those who go under ... but I fully expect my Psychiatrist to seek help for himself should he need it. It's his responsibility to do that. If he doesn't see a problem arising in him, I expect his colleague to notice &amp;, in no uncertain terms, tell him.</p><p>But, I know this now.</p><p>When I was seeing someone else, I think, who was having problems of some sort, I might now try to reach out to either colleagues, or to their regulatory body, (various professions have their own), to see if they can have a talk &amp; find out if they need help.</p><p>If I had, I don't suppose he'd have thanked me for it ... but if they had to seek help for themselves, then I could live with that.</p><p>I have no answers for why some people who seem to have it all, continue to struggle &amp; perhaps lose the fight. There may things going on for them which we know nothing of. </p><p>When it comes to mental health it isn't so much about having a good job, big home, social status, or even money, though having some is useful. Being unemployed is certainly going to make accessing mental health services more difficult. Where people live, too, makes accessing services more difficult.</p><p>Other factors are family &amp; social supports, if you have them or if you don't. Isolation is a problem.</p><p>&amp; there's culture...</p><p>I mean, there are many reasons why it may be some feel unable to go on. &amp; many reasons people do go on. I go on simply because I don't feel <em>that</em> way anymore.</p><p> </p><p>I guess, you are going to grow old &amp; healthy(ish), by putting a lot of effort into doing so.</p><p> </p><p>Hugzies</p><p>mmMekitty</p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" }, { "author": "user-id/451", "content": "<p>I'm sorry to hear how much you are struggling at the moment. </p><p> </p><p>Please try to be kind to yourself and realise that while you may feel like you are doing nothing, this is not the case. You are trying your best to get better and that is enough.</p><p> </p><p>Anxiety and depression are hard mentally and physically, and you need to allow yourself to rest - don't push yourself too hard.</p><p> </p><p>You don't need a reason for struggling. Sometimes there is no trigger. You're allowed to be upset. It's ok to feel exhausted and emotional even if you don't know why. </p><p> </p><p>You mentioned that you are trialing medication and that you have pain in your abdomen. If you haven't already I would discuss your symptoms with a GP to ensure everything is ok and the pain is not an unwanted side effect. </p><p> </p><p>In terms of showering, could you try a bath instead? If not, try sitting down in the shower. Or you could try using a new fancy soap to add some interest. </p><p>If even that seems too hard try to just rinse your body quickly and run some dry shampoo through your hair. </p><p> </p><p>As for the exercise and other things you've mentioned, my advice would be to make little changes to try and slowly get back to where you'd like to be. So instead of walking for an hour or two just go to the letterbox or around the block. You could even just walk on the spot in your room if that's all you can manage. </p><p> </p><p>To put it simply, try to find ways to simplify or change the things you need to do to make them easier for yourself. Doing one tiny thing might not seem like much, but hopefully you can build on it over time and get back to some version of 'normal' soon.</p><p> </p><p>Sorry if this advice doesn't make much sense.</p><p>Please know that there are people that care about you and want you to feel better. I know this probably sounds like a cliche but things will get easier so hang in there and try to stay positive.</p></div>", "date": "09-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/afraid-of-never-getting-better/td-p/575885" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/49413", "content": "<p>Hello, my name’s Elle and I guess I’m just looking for a little bit of extra support. I’m quite involved in my local church and lead a group of adults 25-35. My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 7 years. There’s been a lot of set backs in this process, particularly during Covid.</p><p> </p><p>During the past few years of this process I think I’ve been quite resilient. Smiling as people share their pregnancy news with me, going to baby showers being ok because my faith has been high and surely it will be my turn soon. <br><br>I guess this has really changed in the last 12 months. A lot of the group that we lead are our friends and in the last 12 months - more and more are becoming pregnant after not a lot of trying. </p><p><br>This last month though, has broken me completely. A very good friend opened up to me about how she had been trying for 6 months, and while her journey isn’t necessarily classified as infertility, it started to feeling like maybe she gets it even just a little bit. Anyway she bought up in conversation how a friend of hers broke the news to her that she was pregnant and how she didn’t take it too well and we started talking about how we’d both want to share the news. Anyway silly ignorant me, because a month later - guess who comes over to let me know she’s pregnant. This was 4 weeks ago, when she left I completely broke. She then said something which I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt of not actually realising what she said which was - “you guys plan to split to small group, if you guys take the married/young families group it’s going to be a bunch of guys cause all the ladies are mums so they’ll be in the mum’s group.” <br><br>I had already felt like I’m so completely behind in life, and this was such an insecurity of mine. It took everything in me not break.</p><p><br><span>I was starting to come out of the hole last week, to then see her pregnancy announcement on social media.</span></p><p>Which again completely triggered and broke me. I am so happy for her but so so sad for me. On top of this I’ve been thinking of cutting back my hours at work and had someone in mind to take over my role. Fast forward to yesterday, and lo and behold, another pregnancy announcement.</p><p> </p><p><br>I’m in counselling and she very much wants me to remove myself from situations but it’s also so hard, as I see all these people multiple times a week. I’m also overthinking is this teary state I’ve been in for the past four weeks is passing or something more serious.<br><br></p><p>Anyway if you read this thanks for getting this far and being a safe place to vent without judgement. I’m sure when I read back on this in a better headspace, I’ll probably sound like a jerk <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":grinning_face_with_sweat:\">😅</span> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "26-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/infertility-amp-depression/td-p/577350" }, { "author": "user-id/40334", "content": "<p>Hi ellec</p><p> </p><p>In no way do you sound like a jerk, not at all. How you feel is completely understandable and I feel for you so deeply as you struggle so much through what sounds like such a heartbreaking time in your life.</p><p> </p><p>While I can't completely relate to the struggle to become pregnant, I can relate to a state of consciousness that can feel like pretty much every woman in sight is pregnant. In between my 2 kids, who are now 18 and almost 21, I became super conscious of the amount of women who weren't just pregnant but happily so and it was incredibly triggering. This was based on the fact that by the time my daughter had turned 2, I was up for another child and not every pregnancy I experienced was successful before my son was born. Sounds horrible but I <em>resented</em> pregnant women while things weren't working out. I didn't wish them ill, I just resented them.</p><p> </p><p>'States of consciousness' are weird things. They can shift constantly and depending what state we're in (what we're <em>fully</em> conscious of at any given time) it can mess with us in a number of ways. It's like if you were to begin interacting a lot with women who struggled to become pregnant or had the experience of trying for 10 years or so with eventual success, you'd become fully conscious of the amount of women who <em>do</em> actually struggle with becoming pregnant. Same with if you interacted with women who found surrogates or adopted, you'd be amazed by the amount of women who you're suddenly conscious of, as they went on to share their experiences with you and you with them.</p><p> </p><p>Shifting <em>states</em> of consciousness/awareness is not an easy thing to do at times, that's for sure. I learned over the years that it can come easier if you know what state you want to shift <em>into</em>. For example, if you want to become more conscious of many women who've managed success in pregnancy after tying for so many years, could be something worth researching. Certain physical challenges, mental ones and even soulful ones could be worth a look. Did they change anything in life that <em>led</em> to their success? Did they find any resources themselves that made some difference to them? Btw, sounds like your friend's consciousness has shifted, therefor in another state she may not be as conscious of what she says to you. I think if we stay in a particular state for too long, it has the potential to become depressing and that's something that can be <em>felt</em> on such a deep and soulful level. <span class=\"lia-unicode-emoji\" title=\":red_heart:\">❤️</span></p></div>", "date": "27-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/infertility-amp-depression/td-p/577350" } ]

[ { "author": "user-id/47740", "content": "<p>Everyone on earth is on there different pathways in life and we all learn from our own experience and in life we all face different but great challengers in life.</p><p> </p><p>We have to try to figure out how do I heal how do I recover .</p><p> </p><p>What steps do I need to take on my healing pathway?</p><p> </p><p>There are different things that help each of us heal because no two people are exactly the same not even twins. So we have to work out what helps you to heal.</p><p> </p><p>I could be a myriad of different things it could be like me listening to Mariah Carey to relax and stay calm.</p><p>You could choose to watch a comedian on TV and laugh. Laughter and joy are simply the best medicine.</p><p>It could be taking the dog for a walk or going for a run in the park.</p><p> </p><p>It is totally up to you what you feel helps you to heal with the guidance of your family and your doctor bud patch adams.</p><p> </p><p>You might love to cook a wonderful meal for the family. I love cooking and helping my mum to prepare meals for the family. With my mum I am learning to cook curries which is bringing love and joy to my home.</p><p> </p><p>You could like to do a DIY project like build a table or a book case to help you recover.</p><p> </p><p>All these activities are unique and different and all connect and help us in different ways. there are some people who love pop music but others who love ACADACA these are all different.</p><p> </p><p>We must always love and respect peoples differences and never treat people differently because they are different.</p><p>Every one is wonderful powerful and unique in there own way.</p><p> </p><p>For me I love meditation , cooking reading and cycling. This is what they call your cup of tea or what you like to do.</p><p> </p><p>You must find things that bring you peace calm and bring your body and mind back to harmony.</p><p> </p><p>You must not change who you are because you are beautiful you find out what activities work for you and find out what makes you happy. Sit down with your mum, partner and support and figure out the right activities for you . </p><p> </p><p><strong><u>Call it my happy list</u></strong></p><p><strong><u> </u></strong></p><p>You must never feel defeated by your disability because the most important word in the word in your ability to acheive the impossible. You look at the mountain and you don't say how high is it and Im scared</p><p> </p><p>You say what steps do I take and who is there to support me up the mountain. You are never alone you have your mum, dad, family, doctor a whole myriad of people who want and wish to support and love you through the difficulties.</p><p> </p><p>Despite the fact of me having 4 disabilities I choose to stay positive and looking towards what I can acheive and not what I can. I will tell you I will never have my divers licence because of my epilepsy but I choose to focus on what I can control.</p><p> </p><p>The main thing is to find your passion find your skill and harness that ability and focus on what you can do and not what you can't.</p><p> </p><p>Everyone has there own super power and own ability Mine is cooking and looking after others. Look deep into your heart and find your inner strength to stand up to your challengers and say.</p><p> </p><p>I will stand agianst adversity and never let it defeat me I am powerful beyond measure</p><p> </p><p>Light a candle and give your family a hug and tell them you love them.</p><p> </p><p>Showing love to everyone is such a powerful superpower. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone is a super hero with all there special powers to share.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p></div>", "date": "25-10-2023", "url": "https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/on-the-beautiful-and-wonderful-pathway-of-healing-and-compassion/td-p/577270" } ]