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user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can give fish tattoos with insulin syringes. i needed to track individuals in a tank to calculate growth rates and they were too small to tag with other methods. | user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i know how to make a dental mold that's attached to a syringe to squirm barium into your pharynx. phd is communication sciences and disorders-- swallowing physiology |
user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: i think they probably should, but they don't warrant the full effort of an academic paper. one solution might be if journals had a "negative notes" section that left people publish very short briefs about the findings. this prevents having to read and write full length papers with zero impact, but also puts it in the scientific record to advise future studies. | user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: i think the results should be published, and i also think they shouldn't be paywalled, particularly if the research were publicly-funded. |
user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: really weird for the article to use the term "negative finding." the commonly used term is "null finding," i.e., "our research design did not produce credible and informative results." null findings should be publishable. so should replications. there are also what are called "informative null findings," which means your model credibly demonstrated that there is no effect. | user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: i think the results should be published, and i also think they shouldn't be paywalled, particularly if the research were publicly-funded. |
user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: really weird for the article to use the term "negative finding." the commonly used term is "null finding," i.e., "our research design did not produce credible and informative results." null findings should be publishable. so should replications. there are also what are called "informative null findings," which means your model credibly demonstrated that there is no effect. | user: do you think research results in stem should be published regardless of negative or positive conclusions? researchers in the department of physics and astronomy at the university of exeter believe that publishing scientific articles is not an end unto itself. in a recent opinion piece, they state that researchers should not be disappointed or frustrated by negative results but strive to reach unbiased conclusions driven solely by the data. thoughts? bot: i don't think this only applies to stem. in linguistics it's extremely hard to publish negative results, and often to do so you need to introduce either a new method or a new dataset. |
user: i think i've just failed my phd this is kind of my open letter to academia... my phd was tough. it started really well, full uk scholarship, amazing project, and enthusiasm to do amazing research and follow the dream career. then something happened. can't pinpoint where or when, but my mental health deteriorated rapidly. i started to be afraid of going to the lab, and everything crumbled from there. two intermissions to try to sort my health, a referral at the first viva and major corrections on my second and i have just submitted corrections.. i tried so hard to juggle the corrections with work, and i really doubt it was enough. i'm away from academia now, and even though i'm starting again i'm doing well in my new career. still disappointed in myself though. on the other hand, i've now done the final mic-drop on the (very personal) hell that became academia. to those who managed to survive, you are in a wonderful industry where you get to be creative and use your unique view on the world to enhance the knowledge of the human population. i wish you all the best of success and all of the grants and papers your hearts desire. i'm not bitter of any of you, just a bit disappointed in myself. but hey that's life. thanks academia, i've learned lots not only about my subject matter, but also about myself. bot: there is so much i want to say to you. but i'm gonna start with the most important. you did not fail. you took control of your mental health, and frankly, that's so much more important than a degree. i need you to understand how utterly brave and strong that choice was. there are many of us didn't make that choice. i remember having a nervous breakdown 6 months before i defended, like on the brink of committing myself to a psych ward. if it hadn't been for a bit of luck and a kind committee member, i wouldn't have finished either. the other thing i need you to understand is that academia isn't the great answer. you can save the world without ever taking another foot on a campus. i wish you the best of all the world in your new career. and i don't know you at all, but i'm very proud of you. | user: i think i've just failed my phd this is kind of my open letter to academia... my phd was tough. it started really well, full uk scholarship, amazing project, and enthusiasm to do amazing research and follow the dream career. then something happened. can't pinpoint where or when, but my mental health deteriorated rapidly. i started to be afraid of going to the lab, and everything crumbled from there. two intermissions to try to sort my health, a referral at the first viva and major corrections on my second and i have just submitted corrections.. i tried so hard to juggle the corrections with work, and i really doubt it was enough. i'm away from academia now, and even though i'm starting again i'm doing well in my new career. still disappointed in myself though. on the other hand, i've now done the final mic-drop on the (very personal) hell that became academia. to those who managed to survive, you are in a wonderful industry where you get to be creative and use your unique view on the world to enhance the knowledge of the human population. i wish you all the best of success and all of the grants and papers your hearts desire. i'm not bitter of any of you, just a bit disappointed in myself. but hey that's life. thanks academia, i've learned lots not only about my subject matter, but also about myself. bot: congrats on finding your footing on a path that appears to work for you. having worked in industry and academia, i know first-hand that neither one is "better," they are just different career paths, with different advantages and disadvantages. i know brilliant, successful people that never tried to earn a ph.d., that tried and chose not to finish, that finished and chose to go into industry, and that finished and stayed in academia. leaving academia and going into something that works for you is absolutely not a failure, it is a success. i'm not disappointed in you--nor in any of my students who chose a different path than i did (in fact, i have counseled some of them not to follow my path)--and you absolutely need not be disappointed in yourself. if you are happy with where you are now, that's all that matters. |
user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: i have failed a student once, but the reasons were not related to the results. the reasons were (a) the manuscript was very badly written and (b) the work was blatantly unfinished. the reason why the supervisor let this student defend were related to the rules of the university (you had to defend after n years) rather than being an official "green light". the student failed that time, but we gave them a second chance after one year of extra work, which ended up in a successful attempt and graduation. none of this applies to you. you'll pass! | user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: in every program i know of, it's the responsibility of the chair/adviser to have a private sit-down talk with the candidate if they're not ready. most committees have read most (or all) of the dissertation prior to the defense, and they pretty much know if it's going to pass. candidates get varying levels of revisions, but the pass/fail is decided before you enter the room. |
user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: i have failed a student once, but the reasons were not related to the results. the reasons were (a) the manuscript was very badly written and (b) the work was blatantly unfinished. the reason why the supervisor let this student defend were related to the rules of the university (you had to defend after n years) rather than being an official "green light". the student failed that time, but we gave them a second chance after one year of extra work, which ended up in a successful attempt and graduation. none of this applies to you. you'll pass! | user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: you're stressed— it's natural, but it's going to be fine. are you going in person or are you doing it via zoom? if going in person, focus more on where you want to get lunch/dinner after (if safe to do so) and not the event itself. the day after, you'll be asking yourself what you were so stressed about, i promise :) |
user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: at my school you have to collect the 5 signatures like a quest in an rpg. they wouldnt let you do that part if you wernt ready. the quals is where they beat you senseless. the defense is more of a formality. if you did your work, if your adviser thinks it's sufficient, it is. think of it more like your first time being a colleague and not a student. you did some research. it's original. they've never seen it before. they arnt quizzing you on info they know and you might. they're questioning you about a topic they dont know and you do. you are the instructor and they are your very very curious and demanding students. you are the worlds leading expert on whatever. bring them up to speed. | user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: in every program i know of, it's the responsibility of the chair/adviser to have a private sit-down talk with the candidate if they're not ready. most committees have read most (or all) of the dissertation prior to the defense, and they pretty much know if it's going to pass. candidates get varying levels of revisions, but the pass/fail is decided before you enter the room. |
user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: at my school you have to collect the 5 signatures like a quest in an rpg. they wouldnt let you do that part if you wernt ready. the quals is where they beat you senseless. the defense is more of a formality. if you did your work, if your adviser thinks it's sufficient, it is. think of it more like your first time being a colleague and not a student. you did some research. it's original. they've never seen it before. they arnt quizzing you on info they know and you might. they're questioning you about a topic they dont know and you do. you are the instructor and they are your very very curious and demanding students. you are the worlds leading expert on whatever. bring them up to speed. | user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: you're stressed— it's natural, but it's going to be fine. are you going in person or are you doing it via zoom? if going in person, focus more on where you want to get lunch/dinner after (if safe to do so) and not the event itself. the day after, you'll be asking yourself what you were so stressed about, i promise :) |
user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: at my school you have to collect the 5 signatures like a quest in an rpg. they wouldnt let you do that part if you wernt ready. the quals is where they beat you senseless. the defense is more of a formality. if you did your work, if your adviser thinks it's sufficient, it is. think of it more like your first time being a colleague and not a student. you did some research. it's original. they've never seen it before. they arnt quizzing you on info they know and you might. they're questioning you about a topic they dont know and you do. you are the instructor and they are your very very curious and demanding students. you are the worlds leading expert on whatever. bring them up to speed. | user: have you ever seen anyone fail a phd defense? per the title. i defend my dissertation in a few days, and i feel like my defense is shaping up to be very... unimpressive for a variety of reasons. my committee gave me the green light to look for jobs and write a dissertation. i turned in the document a few days ago, and i have a job lined up, but i'm growing nervous about my defense because, well, it feels like it's garbage. i'm largely asking because i want to know just how bad i need to do in order to actually fail. bot: mine is on friday 🤢 |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: when i thought about forming my dissertation committee, i thought exclusively about whose scholarship matches up with my topic and methods. i did not think enough about my personal relationship with these scholars and importantly their relationships with each other. faculty in departments can have personal feuds and epistemological differences that may play out during the defense hearing. expertise is important, but so is the social dynamic of the committee. if at all possible, you want faculty on your committee who care about your success and get along with each other. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: hire a personal trainer before i started and learned how to work out and build muscle. then add the gym to a daily habit alongside my studies. i started to develop back problems from sitting reading all day and it really put me out. also, i’d force myself to socialise more without using my phd as an excuse not to. i really kept to myself and got lonely toward the end. two easy things! |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: not choose research topics based on perceived difficulty as a personal challenge. is there a dissertation proposal version of 'post-nut clarity'? because i have that. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: probably try harder for grants, maybe look for less competitive ones and work to focus the impact of my research. i took loans to cover research costs and it’s biting me in the ass now. also i’d work harder to network. it’s something i’m still terrible at and connections can make a big difference on the job market. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: digital engagement. like starting academic engagement with twitter, and posting in-progress work to places like academia.edu and researchgate.net earlier. most of my networking has come from digital engagement because my field is quite small and scholars in the field are so widely dispersed across the globe. i now include this as a small project for my students at the masters level. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: not apply to so many fellowships. i started grad school with enough fellowship money to never rely on my boss. the downside: he literally never gave a shit when the project i was put on completely failed (out of our control, literature was not reproducible) which had me running in circles for a few years because he wanted me to “just figure it out”. he really only cares about progress and writing papers when there’s funding on the line. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: have a better balance. prioritize regular time away from research and work out regularly. mental illness is incredibly common among doctoral students. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: i would try not to date as much. and definitely agree with having dissertation committee members who agree with each other. i do think i had a pretty good time otherwise |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: 1. start therapy. mental health is the most important thing and imo the best determinant of success in grad school and in life. also student insurance is sweet. 2. network network network. don't assume you will stay in academia. and don't look at the phd as an end in itself. think about what you want once you are done and prepare for it. you might change your views along the way but better start the process early than in the last 1 year. 3. stick to a 9-5 routine if possible and actually socialize on days off. don't let anyone push your boundaries. people will try to make you feel bad for not slaving away. recognize it for the dysfunctional way of life it is. work smart and work consistent. this is your degree, don't follow anyone blindly if you don't agree. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: i would have left. after harassment and negligence of the department and university, the abuse of graduate students, i wish i had walked away. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: a different supervisor. a second supervisor on the same continent. a series of progressive steps from start to finish rather than a disorganised mess. an actual understanding of the progression from start to finish. you know. the little things. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: probably try harder for grants, maybe look for less competitive ones and work to focus the impact of my research. i took loans to cover research costs and it’s biting me in the ass now. also i’d work harder to network. it’s something i’m still terrible at and connections can make a big difference on the job market. |
user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: save money. go to lab everyday from 10-6. stop procrastinating about experiments. ignore your labmates. your experiments are equally important, don’t be like “yeah i can wait” go to gym. | user: if you could start your phd life from scratch, what one thing would you do differently? hindsight hour! bot: really nothing. |
user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: in my experience, it's usually 1/3. we usually have some random people submitting apps, like medical doctors that think they should now be a professor in a completely unrelated field. the next 1/3 is usually missing something big, like pubs or teaching experience. the last 1/3 are where most of the attention is focused, and the difference between those applicants is usually quite nuanced. | user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: i recently hired another assistant professor. pool of ~30 applied. ~15 were actually qualified. ~6 were good fits for short list. 3 made final short list. |
user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: in my experience, it's usually 1/3. we usually have some random people submitting apps, like medical doctors that think they should now be a professor in a completely unrelated field. the next 1/3 is usually missing something big, like pubs or teaching experience. the last 1/3 are where most of the attention is focused, and the difference between those applicants is usually quite nuanced. | user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: i served on a search committee as an advanced student and we had about 40 applicants. 6 made it to phone interviews and 3 to on-campus lectures. our search was a joint appointment between two schools so we had to find the best fit for the joint placement, an increasingly difficult task. we had candidates from multiple subfields within psychology. two of the finalists had next to no teaching experience and the winner has next to none. they had quite a few publications though. some of the phone interview finalists did not have many publications/came from lower ranking universities. it all depends on the search and search committee on disqualifications. one of the biggest ones was incomplete applications or applications that seemed like a one-size-fits-all (reused for many positions and not much thought into tailoring it to the specific search). our university is a public state university with ~15k students. |
user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: i’ve been on med school faculty search committees for a few years. we get 200-400 applications for open calls, with the vast majority applying for their first faculty job. there’s usually around 75-100 “reasonable” applications - a complete application, post-doc experience, reasonable evidence of research productivity (med school so teaching is less important). these are usually easy to narrow down to 10-15 with really good past research (number and quality of papers) and reference letters, with maybe half of those having a truly competitive research statement. we interview 5-10, and offer second visits to 1-3 depending on the year. most get through the scripted talk on their past research just fine, but fail at the chalk talk where they have to give a reasonable account of what they want to work on, why they think it’s important, and some outline of what they think they should tackle first. these are usually candidates whose research statements weren’t particularly strong, but who we thought worth looking at more carefully. it’s the damnedest thing, but in a pile of several hundred applications from a lot of smart and driven people, you can usually find a handful whose ideas stand head and shoulders above the rest. tl;dr it’s usually the research statement. very few people can give a coherent account of an interesting problem, explain why they think this is a deep issue, and propose some reasonable approaches. | user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: i did two postdocs, the first one had 5 applicants, the second was 3 lmao. (also, both insitutes are great, the 3 applicant one is number 4 in the world for my field... it's just so niche within the field that no one really does it. it's good that whenever i apply it'll probably be less than 10 people, but bad because i only see a handful of jobs per year.) |
user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: in my experience, half of the applications are irrelevant or just too stretched (e.g. i asked for an expert in bamboo basket weaving, the candidate has seen a bamboo basket once in their lives or they are an expert in bamboo planting). the next chopping block is on institutional fit. i have worked at teaching institutions almost exclusively. so over-emphasis of research / not talking enough about teaching in cover letter cut candidates out. then we go with alma mater, experience, research, and - more important than anything else - potential for growth. | user: people who hire faculty and postdocs, out of the “200 applicants for 1 position” how many were never serious contenders to begin with? and the ones who aren’t serious contenders, what tends to disqualify them? wrong subfield? wrong field entirely? not enough pubs? low rank university? bot: i did two postdocs, the first one had 5 applicants, the second was 3 lmao. (also, both insitutes are great, the 3 applicant one is number 4 in the world for my field... it's just so niche within the field that no one really does it. it's good that whenever i apply it'll probably be less than 10 people, but bad because i only see a handful of jobs per year.) |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: they had a grant that paid for most of their starting salary for two years. | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: administrative pressure, sigh |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: wasn't on the committee but when i was a candidate for a tt position at one of the schools where i adjunct, i was told by two separate people who were on the committee (although i can't imagine they were allowed to tell me this but they did) that the committee was divided over whether or not to hire me or someone else because i am a single mom and several committee members didn't think a single mom could handle a full time tt position. one of the people who voted against me was my department chair at the time (also a mom). she asked me to stop by her office so she could be the one to tell me i wasn't chosen and why because she thought it would make me feel better to know that it wasn't *me* they didn't like. narrator: it did not. ​ edited: typo | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: we were told the admin said “don’t hire another white male”. it would have been “unspoken” but we are a tight group. |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: wasn't on the committee but when i was a candidate for a tt position at one of the schools where i adjunct, i was told by two separate people who were on the committee (although i can't imagine they were allowed to tell me this but they did) that the committee was divided over whether or not to hire me or someone else because i am a single mom and several committee members didn't think a single mom could handle a full time tt position. one of the people who voted against me was my department chair at the time (also a mom). she asked me to stop by her office so she could be the one to tell me i wasn't chosen and why because she thought it would make me feel better to know that it wasn't *me* they didn't like. narrator: it did not. ​ edited: typo | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: spouses on top of spouses with a diversity topper. |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: wasn't on the committee but when i was a candidate for a tt position at one of the schools where i adjunct, i was told by two separate people who were on the committee (although i can't imagine they were allowed to tell me this but they did) that the committee was divided over whether or not to hire me or someone else because i am a single mom and several committee members didn't think a single mom could handle a full time tt position. one of the people who voted against me was my department chair at the time (also a mom). she asked me to stop by her office so she could be the one to tell me i wasn't chosen and why because she thought it would make me feel better to know that it wasn't *me* they didn't like. narrator: it did not. ​ edited: typo | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: dean’s old phd student - not a bad candidate at all but still didn’t feel right. |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: wasn't on the committee but when i was a candidate for a tt position at one of the schools where i adjunct, i was told by two separate people who were on the committee (although i can't imagine they were allowed to tell me this but they did) that the committee was divided over whether or not to hire me or someone else because i am a single mom and several committee members didn't think a single mom could handle a full time tt position. one of the people who voted against me was my department chair at the time (also a mom). she asked me to stop by her office so she could be the one to tell me i wasn't chosen and why because she thought it would make me feel better to know that it wasn't *me* they didn't like. narrator: it did not. ​ edited: typo | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: administrative pressure, sigh |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: i've been on over two dozen search committees at multiple schools over the years. in my experience they've all not only been fair, but pretty transparent as well. every one has been an open, international search, and while we've had a few internal candidates none of them ever made the shortlist. the one thing i have seen complicate decisions has been a desire for gender balance-- like all-male departments hoping to hire a female (or the opposite, which we've had too). you obviously can't write that into an ad but it happens all the time. that aside, i've had no interference from deans and as a frequent department chair have not interfered myself. that said, there have been *plenty* of reasons we've dropped people based on their applications or interview performance. for example, i've seen dozens of lawyers apply for academic jobs saying they "would like a change of pace and a lighter workload" and suggesting that since they have a jd and read a few books they'd be great professors. those are always good for a laugh. then there were the ones who said overtly sexist or even racist things during their on-campus interviews. or the guy who we took to dinner with several faculty, ordered a nice steak dinner but told them not to bring anything but the meat, and proceeded to talk about comic books for two hours (and only comic books) despite repeated efforts to bring the conversation around to his research and/or teaching interests (neither of which were related to comic books). | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: dean’s old phd student - not a bad candidate at all but still didn’t feel right. |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: i've been on over two dozen search committees at multiple schools over the years. in my experience they've all not only been fair, but pretty transparent as well. every one has been an open, international search, and while we've had a few internal candidates none of them ever made the shortlist. the one thing i have seen complicate decisions has been a desire for gender balance-- like all-male departments hoping to hire a female (or the opposite, which we've had too). you obviously can't write that into an ad but it happens all the time. that aside, i've had no interference from deans and as a frequent department chair have not interfered myself. that said, there have been *plenty* of reasons we've dropped people based on their applications or interview performance. for example, i've seen dozens of lawyers apply for academic jobs saying they "would like a change of pace and a lighter workload" and suggesting that since they have a jd and read a few books they'd be great professors. those are always good for a laugh. then there were the ones who said overtly sexist or even racist things during their on-campus interviews. or the guy who we took to dinner with several faculty, ordered a nice steak dinner but told them not to bring anything but the meat, and proceeded to talk about comic books for two hours (and only comic books) despite repeated efforts to bring the conversation around to his research and/or teaching interests (neither of which were related to comic books). | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: administrative pressure, sigh |
user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: we were deciding between two candidates. one was a postdoc with an impressive set of publications and grants working at an prestigious university. the other was an assistant professor on the tenure track at a teaching-focused institution with far less publications and no grants. no issues with fit for either one and both were hoping to move to the area for family reasons. our chair (who wasn't on the committee but was advising) wrote in that he'd prefer to restart the search before giving it to the postdoc. his reasoning? that the postdoc wouldn't be happy long-term at our r2. we ended up selecting the assistant professor and will have to see how it works out, but the postdoc still doesn't have a job. i assume other interviews/offers may have been pulled due to covid. it's tough out there, even for really qualified candidates. | user: what secret unspoken reasons did your hiring committee choose one candidate over another? grant writing potential? color of skin? length of responses? interview just a formality so the nepotism isn't as obvious? we all know it exists, but perhaps not specifically. any details you'd like to share about yours? bot: administrative pressure, sigh |
user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i've always viewed this kind of academia vs real world as being like haute couture vs high street fashion. you're not supposed to wear haute couture it's an exercise in skill and creativity to the extreme. and although haute couture isn't meant to be worn it does influence what the next high street fashions will be. academia is kind of the same, it's an exercise in itself but it does influence and trickle down to the real world in real and important, albeit in unpredictable, ways. | user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i'm not in ir, i'm an american and a historian trying to wrap up my dissertation, and while the theories and methodology we use make sense to me, i'm working on something rather obscure to americans and i can't help but feel like it *doesn't mean anything* when i compare my work to americanists whose subjects deal with the most politically charged debates of the day. i can't help but admire those who work on the american west, american south, and the civil rights movement. that isn't to say that i don't love my topic--i work on french colonialism in north africa--nor that it lacks continuing relevance in the mediterranean, but it just *feels* unimportant from my vantage point, and that's ok. knowing that i feel this way, my aim is to get a job outside of research when i finish it, whether in teaching or some other, non-academic field. i know that it's normal to feel this about our research and work, but it's not something that i can digest as easily as many other academics can. |
user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i've always viewed this kind of academia vs real world as being like haute couture vs high street fashion. you're not supposed to wear haute couture it's an exercise in skill and creativity to the extreme. and although haute couture isn't meant to be worn it does influence what the next high street fashions will be. academia is kind of the same, it's an exercise in itself but it does influence and trickle down to the real world in real and important, albeit in unpredictable, ways. | user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i think most in the field are probably aware and working towards creating better theories, or more predictable ones. based on a theory, we can expect something to happen, but even a cancer doctor has to make the treatment based on the type of cancer, the body of the person, and cancer response to treatment. it is a human making decisions, not a theory. |
user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: well the main problem is ir, which is not only detached but also theoretically, methodologically, and normatively bankrupt lollll | user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i think most in the field are probably aware and working towards creating better theories, or more predictable ones. based on a theory, we can expect something to happen, but even a cancer doctor has to make the treatment based on the type of cancer, the body of the person, and cancer response to treatment. it is a human making decisions, not a theory. |
user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i'm not in ir, i'm an american and a historian trying to wrap up my dissertation, and while the theories and methodology we use make sense to me, i'm working on something rather obscure to americans and i can't help but feel like it *doesn't mean anything* when i compare my work to americanists whose subjects deal with the most politically charged debates of the day. i can't help but admire those who work on the american west, american south, and the civil rights movement. that isn't to say that i don't love my topic--i work on french colonialism in north africa--nor that it lacks continuing relevance in the mediterranean, but it just *feels* unimportant from my vantage point, and that's ok. knowing that i feel this way, my aim is to get a job outside of research when i finish it, whether in teaching or some other, non-academic field. i know that it's normal to feel this about our research and work, but it's not something that i can digest as easily as many other academics can. | user: is it normal to become more convinced your discipline is detached from practical reality the more you study it? i know this might read as a trollish post, but i *promise* i'm serious. so, i'm currently halfway through my adv. msc. international relations & diplomacy, and while my undergrad was a liberal arts ba, that was also heavily ir-focused. honestly? i love it, but only in the context of academic bickering about pointless minutae that do not matter outside the walls of the faculty - the more i've studied ir theories, the less my remarks of "we're a humanities field trying to masquerade as a hard science" and "if you open the dictionary to 'ivory tower academia' you'll find a picture of our faculty" have become jokes. i know there's always going to be a difference between academic theory and practices in reality - you clearly *need* to perform abstractions when creating a theory, but several of the main theories in my field just feel like they fall apart at the first dose of being exposed to the outside. i've always had this feeling to some extent, but it's grown rather than diminished, and i'm now actually worried whether or not i'll be able to put any conviction whatsoever in my master's thesis next year. is this just a natural side effect of learning more about your field's theoretical frameworks and therefore being exposed to case studies where they *don't* work more, or am i just seriously disillusioned/too cynical? tl;dr starting to feel like my entire field desperately needs to go touch grass and talk to people, is that normal? bot: i think most in the field are probably aware and working towards creating better theories, or more predictable ones. based on a theory, we can expect something to happen, but even a cancer doctor has to make the treatment based on the type of cancer, the body of the person, and cancer response to treatment. it is a human making decisions, not a theory. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: $17k--canadian--no mandatory supplementary fund despite bringing in external money...the beautiful university of toronto, if i'm guessing right. ​ u of t is absolutely abhorrent with this, even when compared to ubc and mcgill (where i did my master's). i have no concrete advice besides a lot of empathy and solidarity, but i do have a friend there now in stem who was in a very similar position as you (brought in multiple external funds with little to no wage increase from his nserc chair supervisor). he essentially played hard ball: made it clear he is going to stop taking on the countless side projects that only he could get done for his advisor, and also explictly mentioned how ridiculous the base stipend is + the amount of money he's brought in that essentially affords his advisor another grad student. he suggested concrete alternatives: teach his advisor's course for his remaining years and get paid additional lecturer salary; allow summers off for industry partnership positions; or, i want an explicit fund increase from the money that i brought in. he eventually got a mix of request 2 and 3. ​ whether you can do this yourself or not obviously depends on a lot of things: your relationship to your supervisor, your vulnerability (are you an international student? domestic? etc), and the realistic alternatives you can propose (are you capable of teaching a class? do you have a relationship with an industry partner you can leverage?), but just a concrete example for you to work with. ​ and last (this one takes the most work and most likely won't be realized in during your tenure), organize!!! if there's no union, start reading, start talking, and get the ball rolling to stop this exploitation from happening, if not to you, for future generations to come. ​ canadian higher ed is so stingy, partially because of our limited funding sources, but also because i think canadian academic culture is just lethargic and undriven in general. we moan about brain drain to the us, but do nothing concrete to attract and retain talent. ​ all the best. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: as a reference: in austria, where i did my phd, phd students are usually employed under a collective agreement contract as a "project assisstant", but officially only 30h / week. this still amounts to \~30k € (\~45k cad) per year before tax/social insurance. so, luckily, fairly decent for phd. in austria we have very strong unions (in this case, not only for students, but for all university employees), which is why these collective agreements are possible. i don't know the situation in canada, but i guess that similar agreements via unions (for university of public sector in general) would be ideal. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: others have gone into funding barriers, but let's not forget there is some toxic classism inherent in academia. a few years ago when i was still a postdoc, i was in a discussion about the pending unionization of postdocs and how they and the grad student union were fighting for increases in wages. it was disheartening and astounding to hear a postdoc in the department claim that "postdoc wages aren't meant to be self-sufficient" and go on about how we're trainees so we deserve to be paid less, the work is it's own reward, and how raising trainee salaries would "ruin" labs so we should all be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, etc. then you have higher ups chiding us that "if you're looking for money, you shouldn't be in science." never mind that we're not asking for six figures or anything outrageous, just enough that we're not constantly living paycheck to paycheck and on the verge of crisis when something unexpected happens. i'm constantly bumping into these attitudes more and more when i bring up things like paying undergraduates, increasing funding for grad students and postdocs, etc and it's infuriating. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: i say this with the utmost sympathy, but this is hugely a consequence of insufficient funding at the lab level. the average nserc discovery grant is about 33 000 cad. that is supposed to pay for most, if not all, of a graduate student, as well as lab operating expenses (not capital, that's cfi or other sources). the only large labs that i'm familiar with either have *massive* external funding sources (e.g. herzberg awards), industrial partners, or a culture where nearly everyone holds a pgs-d or other external funding source. all of the canadian pis i know would love to be able to provide more funding for their students, but it's a very tight budget. none of this is acceptable, nor justifies your treatment; but realistically, short of a massive federal funding injection, the only way this changes is for the bubble to pop by grad students refusing to accept the ponzi scheme that is academia. i hope you're not left holding the bag. good luck, and defend asap. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: others have gone into funding barriers, but let's not forget there is some toxic classism inherent in academia. a few years ago when i was still a postdoc, i was in a discussion about the pending unionization of postdocs and how they and the grad student union were fighting for increases in wages. it was disheartening and astounding to hear a postdoc in the department claim that "postdoc wages aren't meant to be self-sufficient" and go on about how we're trainees so we deserve to be paid less, the work is it's own reward, and how raising trainee salaries would "ruin" labs so we should all be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, etc. then you have higher ups chiding us that "if you're looking for money, you shouldn't be in science." never mind that we're not asking for six figures or anything outrageous, just enough that we're not constantly living paycheck to paycheck and on the verge of crisis when something unexpected happens. i'm constantly bumping into these attitudes more and more when i bring up things like paying undergraduates, increasing funding for grad students and postdocs, etc and it's infuriating. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: > perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified i think it really depends. i was fully funded throughout grad school and made around $25-$27k pre tax annually over the years. my pi was fully aware of how hard his students worked and how little we were paid. but since the pay was set by the university (or the college, not sure) he really couldn't do much. he did buy us coffee, donuts, and meals quite regularly though. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: others have gone into funding barriers, but let's not forget there is some toxic classism inherent in academia. a few years ago when i was still a postdoc, i was in a discussion about the pending unionization of postdocs and how they and the grad student union were fighting for increases in wages. it was disheartening and astounding to hear a postdoc in the department claim that "postdoc wages aren't meant to be self-sufficient" and go on about how we're trainees so we deserve to be paid less, the work is it's own reward, and how raising trainee salaries would "ruin" labs so we should all be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, etc. then you have higher ups chiding us that "if you're looking for money, you shouldn't be in science." never mind that we're not asking for six figures or anything outrageous, just enough that we're not constantly living paycheck to paycheck and on the verge of crisis when something unexpected happens. i'm constantly bumping into these attitudes more and more when i bring up things like paying undergraduates, increasing funding for grad students and postdocs, etc and it's infuriating. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: my grad program only paid $12k but looked the other way and allowed us to work part time (or even full time) elsewhere so long as our grades and output stayed up. us, humanities. that number is still the same 10 years later. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: others have gone into funding barriers, but let's not forget there is some toxic classism inherent in academia. a few years ago when i was still a postdoc, i was in a discussion about the pending unionization of postdocs and how they and the grad student union were fighting for increases in wages. it was disheartening and astounding to hear a postdoc in the department claim that "postdoc wages aren't meant to be self-sufficient" and go on about how we're trainees so we deserve to be paid less, the work is it's own reward, and how raising trainee salaries would "ruin" labs so we should all be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, etc. then you have higher ups chiding us that "if you're looking for money, you shouldn't be in science." never mind that we're not asking for six figures or anything outrageous, just enough that we're not constantly living paycheck to paycheck and on the verge of crisis when something unexpected happens. i'm constantly bumping into these attitudes more and more when i bring up things like paying undergraduates, increasing funding for grad students and postdocs, etc and it's infuriating. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: i definitely understand this sentiment. i had offers from all three schools i applied to for my phd (ubc—my bsc alma mater, toronto, and mcgill). i honestly would have loved to stay in vancouver, it’s maybe my favorite place in the world. i also probably would have been more comfortable with the culture (and for my partner’s job prospects) in toronto, another english speaking city. but i ultimately chose mcgill, significantly in part due to the relatively cheap cost of living in montréal compared to the other two cities. i didn’t start my phd with any external funding and didn’t have the seniority to ta immediately so i don’t think i would have survived in either of the other two places on ~$20k/yr. |
user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: others have gone into funding barriers, but let's not forget there is some toxic classism inherent in academia. a few years ago when i was still a postdoc, i was in a discussion about the pending unionization of postdocs and how they and the grad student union were fighting for increases in wages. it was disheartening and astounding to hear a postdoc in the department claim that "postdoc wages aren't meant to be self-sufficient" and go on about how we're trainees so we deserve to be paid less, the work is it's own reward, and how raising trainee salaries would "ruin" labs so we should all be willing to sacrifice for the greater good, etc. then you have higher ups chiding us that "if you're looking for money, you shouldn't be in science." never mind that we're not asking for six figures or anything outrageous, just enough that we're not constantly living paycheck to paycheck and on the verge of crisis when something unexpected happens. i'm constantly bumping into these attitudes more and more when i bring up things like paying undergraduates, increasing funding for grad students and postdocs, etc and it's infuriating. | user: discussing stagnant phd stipends i've been talking with my fellow phd students recently about grad student pay, specifically why its viewed as normal to be so much less than minimum wage. we are at a supposedly top-tier canadian research university in a city where the official poverty line is now >$28,000, roughly equal to full-time minimum wage, but our program's minimum stipends are $17,000 (which is actually lower than it was 5 years ago). many of us don't get additional pay despite winning fellowships (i get 20k/year from external funds and not an extra cent from my lab), and because we're in a graduate-only program there are no classes to ta for extra money. we are only required to take 16 credits for the entire program so we are very much expected to be spending at least 40 hours / week in the lab. there's a common sentiment that we are having to make greater and greater sacrifices to survive on these wages - cutting out meals, moving into seriously sub-standard housing, taking out loans. part-time jobs are also forbidden by the program (students have been threatened with expulsion for taking jobs), and spending time on things other than our research feels like it will ruin our career chances. the burden also feels worse as the average time to graduate is >5 years, and will certainly be longer for us due to covid, meaning those of us who did msc's beforehand will be 30 with at least half a decade of lab experience, but will still be paid the same as new students almost a decade ago. with the rapidly increasing cost of living, lengthening degree durations, and awful career prospects for graduates, i believe the current stipend is unsustainable and unjustified. i brought these points up (as well as the fact that i've brought in over $80 000 in fellowships) with my pi and asked for a raise and he tentatively agreed, but he has brushed me off every time i've tried to bring it up the past few weeks and i'm getting increasingly agitated. i absolutely need him as a reference so i feel i have no leverage, as is the case for most students. i'm curious how this compares with other students' situations as it seems like phds are better off in other countries, and the perspective of pis as to whether low student stipends are still justified. if anyone has examples of successful campaigns to increase stipends, or relevant statistics or other readings, that would also be great. we don't have a student union but are currently recruiting as many students as we can to a facebook group to share information and grievances, and hopefully organize some action in the future. bot: it’s hard for pis to make ends meet. consider that pis are managing many students, resources, costs and budgets, income flows, and projects—the research enterprise is very much like running a small to medium-sized business and it is something most pis are not trained in specifically (most are interested in their field, not management). so, although i agree with you that good performers should get raises (especially after a long period like you describe), also remember that the whole thing (everyone’s job and all the lab resources) are often literally held together by a shoestring and the overall funding structure may be fragile. my perspective is also coming from the us side, where many pis have to contend with the additional cost of paying for the tuition of our graduate students as well. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: now you know why that higher higher up has that job. be sure to send him a nice note of thanks. and don’t be embarrassed to reach out for help. good people help each other in times of need. | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad to hear that you were able to recuperate the funds and that they were generally understanding. remember you're still learning your way around academia, so hopefully you'll know how to better approach this kind of situation if it comes up in the future. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: now you know why that higher higher up has that job. be sure to send him a nice note of thanks. and don’t be embarrassed to reach out for help. good people help each other in times of need. | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad it worked out. thanks for the follow up. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: good for you. for what it's worth, the higher up is the only one who seems human. are you i'm the us? this is such odd behaviour to me, maybe i'm just lucky but all the supervisors i've had would focus on the personal first and ensure your okay mentally before advising you gently on how to better conduct yourself in emails. bottom of the priorities is how you represent the programme. you're human, you were grieving, for apologised, now forgive yourself and move on. good luck! | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad to hear that you were able to recuperate the funds and that they were generally understanding. remember you're still learning your way around academia, so hopefully you'll know how to better approach this kind of situation if it comes up in the future. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: quite frankly, the higher up is the only one who seems like a decent human being. i know you feel like you got off lightly but if i was your advisor my concerns would be (in order): 1. your well-being. 2. impressing on you the fact that you didn’t do anything wrong (even if it would be polite to pretend you did). 3. dragging the conference chairs’ ass over hot coals. **they used a national disaster as an excuse to steal money from grad students.** i know you said that they had legalese to cover their asses, but all that means is that you can’t sue them. it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t drag their names all over the academic world. they used a national disaster as an excuse to steal money from grad students, and then used a moment of weakness to make the student they were stealing from feel like shit. they’re the bad guys in this story. | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad to hear that you were able to recuperate the funds and that they were generally understanding. remember you're still learning your way around academia, so hopefully you'll know how to better approach this kind of situation if it comes up in the future. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: quite frankly, the higher up is the only one who seems like a decent human being. i know you feel like you got off lightly but if i was your advisor my concerns would be (in order): 1. your well-being. 2. impressing on you the fact that you didn’t do anything wrong (even if it would be polite to pretend you did). 3. dragging the conference chairs’ ass over hot coals. **they used a national disaster as an excuse to steal money from grad students.** i know you said that they had legalese to cover their asses, but all that means is that you can’t sue them. it definitely doesn’t mean you can’t drag their names all over the academic world. they used a national disaster as an excuse to steal money from grad students, and then used a moment of weakness to make the student they were stealing from feel like shit. they’re the bad guys in this story. | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad it worked out. thanks for the follow up. |
user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: just an fyi - you are acting human. what you did may not have “sounded pretty” but it was an honest moment. fuck the conference for tattling on you and fuck your department. i’m fact, fuck academia. i’m totally bitter and refuse to keep bending over to them. | user: update: lwifu. how did i recover? (translation: last week i fucked up.) i posted this last week and got a ton of good advice, and some requests for an update. long story short, i "met" (remotely) with my pi and some muckety-mucks from my graduate program, and it was painfully awkward but ultimately fine. they had a "not angry, just disappointed" tone. most of the meeting was logistics about how to recoup the lost money. it turns out i have some funds from a fellowship that i didn't realize could be used this way, and they made sure i had all the necessary permissions to get reimbursed that way. but each one of them made sure to remind me how important it is to maintain composure, to represent the program well, etc. they presented it like "just trying to help you out here" as if i had no idea that i had fucked up. but i just took the note and didn't argue with them. there was one more uncomfortable but nice(ish) coda to the whole situation. an even higher higher-up called me on the phone after the meeting. he said my email debacle had made its way to him. at first my stomach sank and i thought this was the moment they were going to actually reprimand me in some way. instead, he said he had no idea i was going through so much, and asked if he could help. i nearly started crying but i just thanked him and tried to get off the phone as quickly as possibly. i know he meant it kindly but to be honest i just want the whole thing to go away and i felt even more embarrassed that it clearly was getting forwarded around. but it is nice to know there are some actual human beings running this show. anyway, thanks for all the advice. now to put this all behind me. bot: glad to hear that things sorted out at the end. good luck with everything that comes now and thanks for the follow up! |
user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: i’m a (white, cis) woman in computer science. my favorite example: toward the end of grad school, i was chatting with some male labmates at a multidisciplinary conference when a very friendly first year grad student from another university came to introduce himself. he was in one of the non-computational disciplines that fit the conference and was very excited to hear that my labmates were in cs and who their advisor was (never gave me a chance to introduce myself). he started asking them about a particular algorithm he’d heard of that might be useful for modeling his work. my labmates suggested something else might work better—at which point the student turned to me. “so xyz algorithm is a computational technique...” i interrupted him, told him that i knew very well what that algorithm was, and finally introduced myself. he was clearly surprised and embarrassed. he may have even apologized. but that incident really made it clear to me that the default assumption would never be that i am an expert in my field. | user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: i'm gay and in linguistics. my home department has a number of gays in it, but i believe this is not the case in many other institutions. i too have some 'bubbliness' that i've tried to (in response to external and internal forces) suppress for the sake of 'professionalism'. additionally, when i'm clean-shaven i look younger than my age. there is a big difference between how some specific people treat me before vs. after my presentation at conferences, and i dread presenting late into a conference because it will quite simply cease to be a networking opportunity for me. linguistics as a field is halfway between a) having points that can be definitively proven, and thus, a way to stand up to people who are clearly not taking you seriously ad hominem; and b) deferring to claims from big names and trends in the field, leaving your fate to established cliques and how well you regurgitate dogma. the frameworks are particularly bad for this: do an analysis with optimality theory and it will by and large not provide any further insight into whatever you're working on (if the analysis pans out at all given ot's toolbox), but you'll certainly make friends in certain circles, and vice versa. i've had a run in or two with a big name who dislikes me (am currently abd), and they threw everything at me from "i don't think your data exists" to "i've met your participants and they don't agree". so even when you can prove what you're saying, some people will have decided whether they like you or not, and have no qualms hiding behind their tenure to act unprofessionally and attack you. at least our journals/conferences are generally reviewed blind. i can't imagine having to navigate the fields where it matters who wrote what. oh, and fieldwork in some regions is gatekept by missionaries (sil), who require you to be straight and married to work with them. happy pride! |
user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: i’m a (white, cis) woman in computer science. my favorite example: toward the end of grad school, i was chatting with some male labmates at a multidisciplinary conference when a very friendly first year grad student from another university came to introduce himself. he was in one of the non-computational disciplines that fit the conference and was very excited to hear that my labmates were in cs and who their advisor was (never gave me a chance to introduce myself). he started asking them about a particular algorithm he’d heard of that might be useful for modeling his work. my labmates suggested something else might work better—at which point the student turned to me. “so xyz algorithm is a computational technique...” i interrupted him, told him that i knew very well what that algorithm was, and finally introduced myself. he was clearly surprised and embarrassed. he may have even apologized. but that incident really made it clear to me that the default assumption would never be that i am an expert in my field. | user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: by first appearances i'm pretty generic for my field (computational evolutionary biology) -- white, male, multilingual, young-ish, in a heterosexual marriage, etc. my most distinguishing feature might be physique, being pretty buff / active from a decade of strength training, enough so that it's commented on unprompted frequently, where everyone else tends to be not very muscular and more sedentary. but i'm not sure if that's not representative of the broader population. i'm also rather visibly eastern european in terms of e.g. craniofacial morphology -- which again, might still be sampling uniformly from the us, but certainly prompts lots of halfway-indelicate comments and jokes. and i grew up pretty poor, and so have been made fun of a bit for having “poor” tastes. dunno how much these all bear upon perceptions of my intellectual competence, though — any gopnik-y “slavic street thug” stereotypes tend not to survive too long past initial interactions. am also pretty tall and frequently sport a buzzcut and stubble, and so have been called “intimidating” on many occasions (e.g. in undergrad i lived in a big city and would often take long walks outside around midnight — people would often cross the street or turn around instead of passing within 50 feet of me lol). |
user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: queer woman in engineering - i don't think engineering is as objective as you say. in classes where i've had to do group work, i've made suggestions that were completely ignored only for someone else to propose *the exact same thing* an hour later and get exclamations of what a good idea it was. i once asked a question in class and the professor answered it, and after class one of the (younger) male grad students decided to come up to me and give an unsolicited explanation to 'help' me get it - but his explanation didn't even address my question! the environment in engineering sucks. | user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: i'm gay and in linguistics. my home department has a number of gays in it, but i believe this is not the case in many other institutions. i too have some 'bubbliness' that i've tried to (in response to external and internal forces) suppress for the sake of 'professionalism'. additionally, when i'm clean-shaven i look younger than my age. there is a big difference between how some specific people treat me before vs. after my presentation at conferences, and i dread presenting late into a conference because it will quite simply cease to be a networking opportunity for me. linguistics as a field is halfway between a) having points that can be definitively proven, and thus, a way to stand up to people who are clearly not taking you seriously ad hominem; and b) deferring to claims from big names and trends in the field, leaving your fate to established cliques and how well you regurgitate dogma. the frameworks are particularly bad for this: do an analysis with optimality theory and it will by and large not provide any further insight into whatever you're working on (if the analysis pans out at all given ot's toolbox), but you'll certainly make friends in certain circles, and vice versa. i've had a run in or two with a big name who dislikes me (am currently abd), and they threw everything at me from "i don't think your data exists" to "i've met your participants and they don't agree". so even when you can prove what you're saying, some people will have decided whether they like you or not, and have no qualms hiding behind their tenure to act unprofessionally and attack you. at least our journals/conferences are generally reviewed blind. i can't imagine having to navigate the fields where it matters who wrote what. oh, and fieldwork in some regions is gatekept by missionaries (sil), who require you to be straight and married to work with them. happy pride! |
user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: queer woman in engineering - i don't think engineering is as objective as you say. in classes where i've had to do group work, i've made suggestions that were completely ignored only for someone else to propose *the exact same thing* an hour later and get exclamations of what a good idea it was. i once asked a question in class and the professor answered it, and after class one of the (younger) male grad students decided to come up to me and give an unsolicited explanation to 'help' me get it - but his explanation didn't even address my question! the environment in engineering sucks. | user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: by first appearances i'm pretty generic for my field (computational evolutionary biology) -- white, male, multilingual, young-ish, in a heterosexual marriage, etc. my most distinguishing feature might be physique, being pretty buff / active from a decade of strength training, enough so that it's commented on unprompted frequently, where everyone else tends to be not very muscular and more sedentary. but i'm not sure if that's not representative of the broader population. i'm also rather visibly eastern european in terms of e.g. craniofacial morphology -- which again, might still be sampling uniformly from the us, but certainly prompts lots of halfway-indelicate comments and jokes. and i grew up pretty poor, and so have been made fun of a bit for having “poor” tastes. dunno how much these all bear upon perceptions of my intellectual competence, though — any gopnik-y “slavic street thug” stereotypes tend not to survive too long past initial interactions. am also pretty tall and frequently sport a buzzcut and stubble, and so have been called “intimidating” on many occasions (e.g. in undergrad i lived in a big city and would often take long walks outside around midnight — people would often cross the street or turn around instead of passing within 50 feet of me lol). |
user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: another woman in engineering here. while the apparent objectivity of engineering is nice in theory, in reality people's opinions of you are subjective anyways. as a woman, the bar for you to "prove your competence" is often higher than it is for your male colleagues regardless of any objective facts. i've had new staff ask if i was from hr; i've heard many times that i only got a job offer because i was a woman; i've had plenty of experiences where i suggest something and then, when a male colleague agrees with me, everyone around the table starts referring to it as "his" idea. also, *so many* experiences of men who simply cannot believe that i know what i'm talking about. even when i've literally published papers on a topic - and they know that! - i've had to cajole and argue and provide sources just to convince some men of the most basic, uncontroversial technical facts in an area they've never even worked in. and then there's the few specific men in the field who the other women warn you not to get too close to because they're a bit handsy, and the men who shake the hands of the other men but just sort of... gloss over me. and conferences, oh my god. it's a regular occurrence that i ask a poster presenter a question and they then direct their answer to some random man who happens to be standing next to me. or i'm discussing my own work with someone and a male colleague of mine happens to walk past and says hello... and then the person i was talking with immediately starts asking my male colleague questions about *my* work apropos of nothing. i would love to go to even just one conference where neither of those things happens but alas, in well over a decade of conference attendance, it has not occurred yet. | user: those of you who don't fit into the typical profile of someone in your area of study, have you had others show skepticism about your knowledge or abilities due to your age, race, gender, etc? one of my friends from undergraduate is a super bubbly blonde girly girl (think reese witherspoon from legally blonde) who also happened to graduate valedictorian in engineering and then went on to a top graduate school. she would get some funny reactions when telling people what she did for a living, but the neat thing about engineering is its objectivity: she could *prove* her competence. how about you? bot: by first appearances i'm pretty generic for my field (computational evolutionary biology) -- white, male, multilingual, young-ish, in a heterosexual marriage, etc. my most distinguishing feature might be physique, being pretty buff / active from a decade of strength training, enough so that it's commented on unprompted frequently, where everyone else tends to be not very muscular and more sedentary. but i'm not sure if that's not representative of the broader population. i'm also rather visibly eastern european in terms of e.g. craniofacial morphology -- which again, might still be sampling uniformly from the us, but certainly prompts lots of halfway-indelicate comments and jokes. and i grew up pretty poor, and so have been made fun of a bit for having “poor” tastes. dunno how much these all bear upon perceptions of my intellectual competence, though — any gopnik-y “slavic street thug” stereotypes tend not to survive too long past initial interactions. am also pretty tall and frequently sport a buzzcut and stubble, and so have been called “intimidating” on many occasions (e.g. in undergrad i lived in a big city and would often take long walks outside around midnight — people would often cross the street or turn around instead of passing within 50 feet of me lol). |
user: stock phrases to answer talk questions just met with a graduate student who was concerned that a recent talk had been derailed by a persistent questioner. i told them that question management is a skill that develops over time, but also provided a few stock phrases that can be used to deflect questions when you don't have a good answer. here are some of mine - any suggestions? * for interrupters: "i might address that later in the talk - could you ask me again at the end if i haven't answered the question by then?" * for repeated questioners who won't stop: "this is a really interesting exchange but just because we're short on time and i want to give others a chance to ask questions, can we talk about it afterwards?" * for people who offer dumb criticisms of your methods: "that's an interesting point, what would you have done differently?" * for questions that are nonsensical: "that's an interesting point, what are your thoughts?" * for questions that point out limitations: "that's something i've thought a lot. although this study wasn't set up to address that comprehensively, it's something we're going to look at in future studies." for context, i'm in social psychology and do quantitative research. bot: i like the idea of having some of them ready beforehand, and i have used the first two many times. the only difference is that i do not ask if we can talk about it later, i assert it. i generally allow clarification questions during my talks, but defer discussion questions to the end with something like, "that's a great question. i want to make sure i make it through my prepared material, but there should be time for some discussion at the end of my talk." | user: stock phrases to answer talk questions just met with a graduate student who was concerned that a recent talk had been derailed by a persistent questioner. i told them that question management is a skill that develops over time, but also provided a few stock phrases that can be used to deflect questions when you don't have a good answer. here are some of mine - any suggestions? * for interrupters: "i might address that later in the talk - could you ask me again at the end if i haven't answered the question by then?" * for repeated questioners who won't stop: "this is a really interesting exchange but just because we're short on time and i want to give others a chance to ask questions, can we talk about it afterwards?" * for people who offer dumb criticisms of your methods: "that's an interesting point, what would you have done differently?" * for questions that are nonsensical: "that's an interesting point, what are your thoughts?" * for questions that point out limitations: "that's something i've thought a lot. although this study wasn't set up to address that comprehensively, it's something we're going to look at in future studies." for context, i'm in social psychology and do quantitative research. bot: i’ve had to use that last one quite a lot so far. sometimes the comment is surprisingly insightful - even ended up collaborating with a group after discussing the matter after the session. |
user: conducted my first lecture today. it did not go well i’m a ta and this term i am conducting classes for one of the intro lectures for first years. it’s like a general knowledge module on my country (so we cover history, econ, politics etc). i had my first independent lecture today on a topic i’m not familiar with at all. and it was so bad. i couldn’t pronounce a few names (it was on the origin of our language), my explanations were all over the place and i couldn’t answer a question a student had (i did answer it later though). i found out the topic yesterday so i didn’t have enough time to prepare. i’m not sure how to deal with this. this was their first impression of me and i’m a little worried that i’ll make things worse for them. was anyone ever in a similar situation? how do i recover from this? bot: own it. don't marinade in it. it happens. rolling into the next class with some version of "full disclosure guys, i don't know what you thought but i felt like last class was rough. that's not my usual style. here's how today is going to go differently ... " praise them for asking good questions that stumped you. that means their listening and thinking critically. don't make excuses or ask for forgiveness but take some reasonable steps to do better using your personal strengths. if they ask a question and i don't know the answer, i tell them it's a great question and ask if anyone else in the class knows. if not, i joke "me neither - haha! let's find out. who can search up the answer fastest?" edit: now that a re-read your post idk. opening the door for possibility while maybe not your ideal lecture, it wasn't as bad as it seems? we're often our own worst critic, especially when we're nervous and being observed. none of what you've described sounds terrible. you didn't insult anyone or make them cry ... ive had professors do that and still recover. this will be okay for you too. | user: conducted my first lecture today. it did not go well i’m a ta and this term i am conducting classes for one of the intro lectures for first years. it’s like a general knowledge module on my country (so we cover history, econ, politics etc). i had my first independent lecture today on a topic i’m not familiar with at all. and it was so bad. i couldn’t pronounce a few names (it was on the origin of our language), my explanations were all over the place and i couldn’t answer a question a student had (i did answer it later though). i found out the topic yesterday so i didn’t have enough time to prepare. i’m not sure how to deal with this. this was their first impression of me and i’m a little worried that i’ll make things worse for them. was anyone ever in a similar situation? how do i recover from this? bot: i don't think that's very representative of most first experiences, i started giving short guest lectures in my supervisors classes, then doing seminars discussing their lectures, then later my own lectures on content i had made myself; that way is a much more smooth transition. so don't take it as a bad sign for the future, just be honest about your experience with whoever assigned you to teach something you didn't know so it doesn't happen again. it might be harder to build up relationship with students again, but you still have the whole semester to do so. good luck! |
user: conducted my first lecture today. it did not go well i’m a ta and this term i am conducting classes for one of the intro lectures for first years. it’s like a general knowledge module on my country (so we cover history, econ, politics etc). i had my first independent lecture today on a topic i’m not familiar with at all. and it was so bad. i couldn’t pronounce a few names (it was on the origin of our language), my explanations were all over the place and i couldn’t answer a question a student had (i did answer it later though). i found out the topic yesterday so i didn’t have enough time to prepare. i’m not sure how to deal with this. this was their first impression of me and i’m a little worried that i’ll make things worse for them. was anyone ever in a similar situation? how do i recover from this? bot: own it. don't marinade in it. it happens. rolling into the next class with some version of "full disclosure guys, i don't know what you thought but i felt like last class was rough. that's not my usual style. here's how today is going to go differently ... " praise them for asking good questions that stumped you. that means their listening and thinking critically. don't make excuses or ask for forgiveness but take some reasonable steps to do better using your personal strengths. if they ask a question and i don't know the answer, i tell them it's a great question and ask if anyone else in the class knows. if not, i joke "me neither - haha! let's find out. who can search up the answer fastest?" edit: now that a re-read your post idk. opening the door for possibility while maybe not your ideal lecture, it wasn't as bad as it seems? we're often our own worst critic, especially when we're nervous and being observed. none of what you've described sounds terrible. you didn't insult anyone or make them cry ... ive had professors do that and still recover. this will be okay for you too. | user: conducted my first lecture today. it did not go well i’m a ta and this term i am conducting classes for one of the intro lectures for first years. it’s like a general knowledge module on my country (so we cover history, econ, politics etc). i had my first independent lecture today on a topic i’m not familiar with at all. and it was so bad. i couldn’t pronounce a few names (it was on the origin of our language), my explanations were all over the place and i couldn’t answer a question a student had (i did answer it later though). i found out the topic yesterday so i didn’t have enough time to prepare. i’m not sure how to deal with this. this was their first impression of me and i’m a little worried that i’ll make things worse for them. was anyone ever in a similar situation? how do i recover from this? bot: my first time leading full classes was last semester. i've been in a similar situation with my teaching experience so far. i've taed for 3 courses all of which i hadn't taken before. i was trusted to just lead classes anyway (which i guess is normal but i still find that super weird). for the first course i taed for, i led class every other week plus review sessions. it felt super overwhelming to me at first, but i got used to it pretty quickly. my main source of worry before every session is that i will not know the answer to student's questions and that i am somehow letting them down. there have been times i didn't know the answer but i have never had an issue just telling them "i'm not sure but i will find out for you" -- just make sure you actually do find out for them. it feels weird to admit to students that you don't know something, but i try to remind myself that i am a student too and i am also learning (especially so for courses that i have never actually taken lol). when i get worried about them judging me i try to remind myself of when i was in undergrad. most of the class, myself included sometimes, half payed attention for most lectures. chances are if you mess up many of them won't even notice. and even if they do, they won't likely remember it -- i can't think of a single time that my professors/tas messed up during my classes in undergrad. each time you do this you will get more confident and it will get easier! |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: "other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic" this is an unrealistic expectation of work ethic. academia sets us up for outrageous burnout. the fact that you are 'cycling' in your ability to focus is actually a symptom of chronic burnout. i have moved from academia to industry, and am noticing a stark difference in the way people protect their off-work time. i work 7.5 hours a day, monday to friday, no more, no less (and if more, claim overtime) and am far more effective day after day than i was in academia pulling 12-16 hr days. as is a constant theme in these subreddits and i'm sure you know - a lot of aspects of academia are extremely toxic. i think a way to 'turn it around' is to realize that the expectations are unreasonable and that it's okay if it doesn't work for you. work for a few isolated hours a day. build those up if you can. if you can't but are still productive, that's fine. lower the bar to something reasonable for you, because you are your own worst critic. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: sounds a bit like me. i was recently diagnosed with adhd which probably at least partially explains my productivity problems. i have found i need external deadlines and accountability to keep me on track. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: "other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic" this is an unrealistic expectation of work ethic. academia sets us up for outrageous burnout. the fact that you are 'cycling' in your ability to focus is actually a symptom of chronic burnout. i have moved from academia to industry, and am noticing a stark difference in the way people protect their off-work time. i work 7.5 hours a day, monday to friday, no more, no less (and if more, claim overtime) and am far more effective day after day than i was in academia pulling 12-16 hr days. as is a constant theme in these subreddits and i'm sure you know - a lot of aspects of academia are extremely toxic. i think a way to 'turn it around' is to realize that the expectations are unreasonable and that it's okay if it doesn't work for you. work for a few isolated hours a day. build those up if you can. if you can't but are still productive, that's fine. lower the bar to something reasonable for you, because you are your own worst critic. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: i’m here to tell you i do struggle with the same things. when i work “full-on” i feel like i’m a beast. great presentations, reports what not. and then there are days that are so slow i want to do nothing but binge watch or scroll through reddit. my husband is a workaholic constantly powering through but he is on the verge of a serious breakdown if he doesn’t stop. so i’m not sure which is worse, to be honest. i have noticed, i work better with white noise in the background, taking regular breaks & accepting that there are certain days of the month that i’m going to be “hazy”. it does coincide with my pms dates and i’m trying to make my peace with that. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: "other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic" this is an unrealistic expectation of work ethic. academia sets us up for outrageous burnout. the fact that you are 'cycling' in your ability to focus is actually a symptom of chronic burnout. i have moved from academia to industry, and am noticing a stark difference in the way people protect their off-work time. i work 7.5 hours a day, monday to friday, no more, no less (and if more, claim overtime) and am far more effective day after day than i was in academia pulling 12-16 hr days. as is a constant theme in these subreddits and i'm sure you know - a lot of aspects of academia are extremely toxic. i think a way to 'turn it around' is to realize that the expectations are unreasonable and that it's okay if it doesn't work for you. work for a few isolated hours a day. build those up if you can. if you can't but are still productive, that's fine. lower the bar to something reasonable for you, because you are your own worst critic. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: hey have you considered pmdd? it is very common for mensturating women to go through changes in motivation, energy throughout their cycle and it can be quiet drastic for women with pmdd. i find it very hard to stay focused or exert energy in the 7-10 days before my period and even my cognitive skills drop a few notches during this time. often resorting to low energy activities like scrolling the internet etc. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: sounds a bit like me. i was recently diagnosed with adhd which probably at least partially explains my productivity problems. i have found i need external deadlines and accountability to keep me on track. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: hey have you considered pmdd? it is very common for mensturating women to go through changes in motivation, energy throughout their cycle and it can be quiet drastic for women with pmdd. i find it very hard to stay focused or exert energy in the 7-10 days before my period and even my cognitive skills drop a few notches during this time. often resorting to low energy activities like scrolling the internet etc. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: i have an approach to productivity. the day before i list stuff i want to get done and break it down into stupidly easy tasks. for example, "open textbook on relevant page" is a task. i choose a subset of tasks i need to get done no matter what, i.e. the strict minimum i have to do before i am allowed to call it quits. usually it's about 4 hours worth of work, sometimes less. once i complete that amount of work i am allowed to not work for the rest of the day. some days i actually do work only for 4 hours, most days i get caught up with it and end up doing 8-10 hours. the hardest thing is to start, so my goal is never to get as much done, but rather that every single day, something gets done. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: hey have you considered pmdd? it is very common for mensturating women to go through changes in motivation, energy throughout their cycle and it can be quiet drastic for women with pmdd. i find it very hard to stay focused or exert energy in the 7-10 days before my period and even my cognitive skills drop a few notches during this time. often resorting to low energy activities like scrolling the internet etc. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: reading this matches my phd experience and work ethic almost precisely. i put out good work, i love what i study and why i study it, i've won an nih f31 and am on track for a solid dissertation and hopeful postdoc. i feel so fucking lazy most of the time. but it all gets done... |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: so long as you're producing what you're expected to, what does it matter how many hours you work or what you do to get the work done? the value of the product of your labour has nothing to do with the quantity nor quality of your labour. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: sounds like you are burned out. it happens to all of us and working when you are burned out is not good. you just develop unhealthy working habits and tolerance to an unhealthy mindset. i would suggest to take a few days off and fully embrace doing nothing to recharge. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: oh gosh! i can feel you because i suffer from the same problem. i am constantly finding myself caught in procrastination. somedays i struggle with focusing on work, reading and experiments. i asked myself several times if i hqve adhd. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: it seems to me that you are working fine. you have a problem of judging yourself very hard. maybe it calms you that i am reading your problems while i could really spend my time better, but i try not to care too much. you can't be perfect, you won't be perfect. you judge yourself because you feel obligated to spend your time better. it is also important to waste time and not feeling bad about it. |
user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: humanities professor here. keep in mind that the postdoc is pretty much the last time you'll be able to focus exclusively on the research. after that it's teaching, committees, supervision of grad students, not to mention family commitments, parenting etc. my point is that 'slacking off' is a must. you need it to stay balanced and it will result in better work later. the mind works even when you're off so you're doing yourself a good service by just taking time off to chill. otherwise it's burnout, like everyone else here has said. i still make time for aimless scrolling, naps etc. | user: why am i slacking off days even in my post-phd life? background: i recently received my phd (30f). i worked very hard to secure a good postdoc fellowship during my phd. now that i am here, i am finding myself in some patterns and old habits of slacking off that i am quite alarmed by. during graduate school i had a cycles that once every few weeks i had developed a habit of just lazing around and binge watching or slacking off. this was true even i managed to shutt off all sm on phone and laptop. i would find just some way to surf the internet and search random stuff...the day(s) would just pass by. until, i snapped out of it and back to work. somehow this cycle felt more acceptable in graduate school because i was just a "student" after all. now that i am officially in a postdoc position, for the first time it's hitting me that this is goddamn real job with real money. it's hitting me that there are other 30 year olds in other fields working their ass of 10 -12hours a day for a living, with a serious work ethic. i guess part of being an academic is that you set your own milestones and there is a very little accountability to others. everyone in my work place kinda works remotely (theoretical astrophysics) and so i don't have a community around me. i am not lonely. i am currently staying with parents (asian fam here), eat well and excercise regularly. yet, this last 10 days, when i go back to my computer i have found every excuse to not work (even with all sm blocked). i am sitting here feeling so alarmed because i realize this is an unhealthy work ethic. don't get me wrong - i am good at what i do..i've published in top journals, won many awards, and this prestigious postdoc fellowship - but i've come to realize that i am appalled by the sloth and inconsistency with which i approach it. i feel ashamed of talking about this with anyone else. i feel like i'm in 30s (and not an undergrad) and i should have figured out this by now. i get so queasy thinking..if i were in a tenure tracked job as an assistant professor and continued with these habits, that would be simply be awful! i'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience and how they turned it around. more importantly, how they remained consistent about it. bot: i'm just an undergraduate with no plans to go i to academia, but is it really that much of a problem? i do pretty much the same thing and don't find it too difficult to work around, so especially if your job is flexible you should simply keep doing it. you're a professional theoretical astrophysicist (!) maybe your brain just needs to rest sometimes. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i am the student you speak of. as long as there is feedback i can use please don't feel guilty. obviosuly publishing is the best outcome for me, but having someone read your paper, actually care and provide feedback is a good 2nd. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: the way i see it, you're providing a great service to others and society by doing your work this way. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: your main objective as a reviewer is to help authors to enhance the paper. if you provide constructive feedback and suggest ways of improving it then there is nothing really to feel guilty about. you should feel that you have provided help. just avoid comments such as "the paper does not meet the quality standards of this journal" or similar :) that would be perceived as mean especially coming from an anonymous reviewer. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: the way i see it, you're providing a great service to others and society by doing your work this way. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: yes, i feel a lot of reviewer's (and editor's) guilt when i am critical of a work that was clearly done with passion, but that it is not (hopefully yet) up to par. just yesterday i had to make a recommendation for a large national grant, the ones that are pretty much a requirement for young academics. the project wasn't good so i gave it a mediocre, but not horrible, score. i knew that means the researcher won't get the grant, i know it was the right thing to do, but i regret it all the same. that is just empathy i guess, and it is a good thing to have. i have received many reviews without an iota of empathy, being quite mean, condescending, or simply aggressive. people who forget there is a person on the other side. i rather feel guilt but be reassured i'm doing what's right. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: the way i see it, you're providing a great service to others and society by doing your work this way. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: yes, i feel a lot of reviewer's (and editor's) guilt when i am critical of a work that was clearly done with passion, but that it is not (hopefully yet) up to par. just yesterday i had to make a recommendation for a large national grant, the ones that are pretty much a requirement for young academics. the project wasn't good so i gave it a mediocre, but not horrible, score. i knew that means the researcher won't get the grant, i know it was the right thing to do, but i regret it all the same. that is just empathy i guess, and it is a good thing to have. i have received many reviews without an iota of empathy, being quite mean, condescending, or simply aggressive. people who forget there is a person on the other side. i rather feel guilt but be reassured i'm doing what's right. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i’m surprised more people don’t feel this way. i do, even though i know being critical where necessary is the right thing to do. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: my favorite review i got as a grad student: "this result is almost certainly false, but if it is valid, i already published it 30 years ago" yours was certainly more useful than that. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i’m surprised more people don’t feel this way. i do, even though i know being critical where necessary is the right thing to do. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: my favorite review i got as a grad student: "this result is almost certainly false, but if it is valid, i already published it 30 years ago" yours was certainly more useful than that. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i feel a little bad. and, i have never recommended to reject a paper outright. instead i opt to choose the reject and resubmit option. the editor has to make the decision whether or not it can be resubmitted. with that said, i have not reviewed a paper that i thought was fundamentally unsound. i don't feel bad, because i think of my first manuscript which was a hot mess. my pi probably should not have let me submit it. but, i think he was fed up with me not making progress so we just sent it in. fortunately the reviewers gave constructive feedback and i end up resubmitting laterally and getting the paper accepted. the review process made my paper way better than it was. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: my favorite review i got as a grad student: "this result is almost certainly false, but if it is valid, i already published it 30 years ago" yours was certainly more useful than that. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: yes. especially with reviewing proposals for funding that you know could really establish someone’s career. i have been guided that you saying no to one person allows a yes to someone else. it’s not fair to either to feel bound to rate something positively just because you happened to invest time (and, often, emotional energy) into reading and thinking about it. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: my favorite review i got as a grad student: "this result is almost certainly false, but if it is valid, i already published it 30 years ago" yours was certainly more useful than that. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i don’t ever feel guilty, but i do occasionally feel sad when it is apparent that someone had a good idea and worked hard, but really missed the mark for some reason. the job of a reviewer is to support the editor in making an appropriate decision, not manage the feelings of the authors. a really good review can give the authors valuable feedback that will enable them to not only improve the paper, but become better scientists and writers. either way, how they feel about it is their business. it should not factor into your thinking when writing your review, beyond perhaps tempering your language to make it easier for them to understand and appreciate your feedback, but that is more about compassion and effective communication. |
user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: i once reviewed the worst paper. not terribly written, but what they were doing was so astonishingly ridiculous and amateurish for the field that it could have passed as a joke in any class. it would be like a chemist putting food coloring into water in their own kitchen and then claiming to have created "green water" and thus the water was more environmentally friendly because it was green. at first i was confused, but it was a serious thing so i wrote a review explaining the problems nicely and then a much harsher "absolutely not" note to the editor. it never got published, at least in that journal. but i was very sad when i looked up the author and found they were in a legit graduate program (not prestigious, but something where you'd expect training and guidance) and somehow their advisor (who was also an author) had greenlit this project and apparently encouraged it as a thesis. i felt very bad for that poor student. | user: do you ever feel "reviewer's guilt"? recently reviewed a paper and couldn't help but give it a very critical review with a recommendation to the editor to reject. i gave a very detailed review with both specific and general comments, and tried to write something constructive. i can't help but empathize with the writer. probably a phd student trying to get published, worked hard and did what his advisor suggested and likely poured his guts in to it. i couldn't suggest to accept it but i can't help feeling guilty for "being mean" to the authors and ruining their day/week/month. anyone else feel this? how do you deal with it? bot: my experience as a writer and reviewer is that most papers end up accepted eventually. failure of a paper to be published in a given submission cycle is typically due to a mismatch between journal and manuscript, and the manuscript will be okay, often with minimal revision, once it finds the right journal. very few papers (<10%) are so bad that they require substantial overhauls. those really bad papers are bad for only a handful of reasons. the biggest reason is insufficient communication and feedback between the authors; either the trainee is not taking feedback from their pi, or their pi is not providing sufficient guidance. a rejected manuscript can be a way to shock the system, so to speak, and get the pi and trainee communicating in order to fix problems in how the authors go from data to results to inferences, or bringing on additional experts to address gaps in technical expertise. that's not to say there aren't malicious or frivolous rejections (there are and i've seen some first-hand) but if you're trying to be constructive but still identifying critical problems with a manuscript, the chances are this will ultimately help everyone involved, including the trainee. |
user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: this happened recently in my field. i’m assuming your professor is reasonably well established. reach out to former students of your professor who are now faculty themselves: you might be surprised by the amount of support you may receive from them. | user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: your advisor should be working on ensuring that all of you will finish. yes, he has a lot on his plate but if he is an experienced mentor you all are the first thoughts after his family. that said...4th year? get writing man. i had one of my committee die suddenly and 2 of the remaining 3 were in their 60s. put the fear of god into me and i holed up and wrote my thesis in 3 weeks after not having been in any hurry for the past 3 years. |
user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: this happened recently in my field. i’m assuming your professor is reasonably well established. reach out to former students of your professor who are now faculty themselves: you might be surprised by the amount of support you may receive from them. | user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: i'm sorry you are going through this. has the director of the graduate program contacted you? they will likely have a plan in mind for you and the other graduate students. since you are further along, its possible you can finish your current project while being mentored by another group (weekly meetings with pi and attending lab meetings). i have seen this sort of arrangement happen in the past. given the other graduate students are early on, they are more likely than not starting over in another lab. you can support them by being there, encouraging them, and perhaps suggesting some labs they could pivot to, if that is what they want. but, its the graduate program administration's job to support the students. they should take care of it. deep breaths!! it's not your responsibility to figure out funding, or how to break the news to collaborators. the department chair and perhaps the postdocs will take care of these things. i am trully sorry you are going through this- this is just brutal to read. just know you are not alone! |
user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: as a 4th year, you *should* be able to complete your phd at that university given these circumstances. the younger students, especially the one that has barely started, may not be able to complete at all. in their cases, (particularly the newer of the two students), they'll likely need to start over or maybe continue what they've started under the guidance of another advisor. basically, once you're far enough along in a phd program, even if your advisor dies/leaves/quits, you can often get some grace provided to you from your department and allow you to finish. if you're relatively new to a phd program (haven't completed quals in particular), you're more likely to have to restart in a new lab. | user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: your advisor should be working on ensuring that all of you will finish. yes, he has a lot on his plate but if he is an experienced mentor you all are the first thoughts after his family. that said...4th year? get writing man. i had one of my committee die suddenly and 2 of the remaining 3 were in their 60s. put the fear of god into me and i holed up and wrote my thesis in 3 weeks after not having been in any hurry for the past 3 years. |
user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: as a 4th year, you *should* be able to complete your phd at that university given these circumstances. the younger students, especially the one that has barely started, may not be able to complete at all. in their cases, (particularly the newer of the two students), they'll likely need to start over or maybe continue what they've started under the guidance of another advisor. basically, once you're far enough along in a phd program, even if your advisor dies/leaves/quits, you can often get some grace provided to you from your department and allow you to finish. if you're relatively new to a phd program (haven't completed quals in particular), you're more likely to have to restart in a new lab. | user: my advisor might be dying and i don't know what to do. i'm a 4th year phd student in the natural sciences, usa. i'm trying to be vague for privacy reasons; if you need clarification, please ask. my advisor's health took a turn for the worse in may. he's not doing well. we're a very small group - 3 grad students, of which i'm the oldest, 2 post-docs, and my advisor - working on a multi-institution project. we're the only group in the collaboration responsible for our component, and it's pretty mission-critical. i am, to put it bluntly, terrified. the most experienced post-doc, who helms the group when our advisor isn't available and holds a major leadership role in the collaboration, is in a tenuous position w.r.t. their visa. the other post-doc will leave for industry if our advisor passes. neither of the other grad students have finished their qual or formed an advisory committee, the youngest barely has her project started. no one else at my institution can support me staying on this project - i'd have to transfer to another group/institution on our collaboration to have a prayer of finishing my degree, and if our post-doc leaves for industry it *still* may not be possible. this man took a risk on me no one else was willing to take. he's a second father to me. i have never been so scared, i have no idea what i'm doing, i desperately need *any* kind of advice. how do i support the younger grad students? how do i navigate our funding? what do i say to collaboration leadership (who are all in the dark)? how would i even approach an advisor at another institution about picking up the pieces of our shattered little team? please help me, i feel like i'm drowning. bot: i'm sorry you are going through this. has the director of the graduate program contacted you? they will likely have a plan in mind for you and the other graduate students. since you are further along, its possible you can finish your current project while being mentored by another group (weekly meetings with pi and attending lab meetings). i have seen this sort of arrangement happen in the past. given the other graduate students are early on, they are more likely than not starting over in another lab. you can support them by being there, encouraging them, and perhaps suggesting some labs they could pivot to, if that is what they want. but, its the graduate program administration's job to support the students. they should take care of it. deep breaths!! it's not your responsibility to figure out funding, or how to break the news to collaborators. the department chair and perhaps the postdocs will take care of these things. i am trully sorry you are going through this- this is just brutal to read. just know you are not alone! |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i'm not sure if this is a wise suggestion at all, but maybe i would consider writing the report as if you were not the person directly affected by the situation. you can pretend you are one of your peers, and write something like "a colleague of mine told me... they don't dare speaking up themselves in fear of ripercussions... it is a serious issue i thought should be reported and i thought i'd do it even if they [aka you, op] decided not to report the situation themselves..." something like this. it will not hide for long that you are the gay student in the center, but it will maybe help avoiding the blame for the report. i'm not sure this helps. i do think you would do a good thing for yourself and for students who might find themselves in your current situation in the future by reporting this. i know it is a big burden and it takes a lot of courage. don't forget that there is really no blame on you if you can't gather this much courage. for you, it is going to be tough either way (although in different ways, maybe) unfortunately. it is just up to you to choose whether to face possible consequences but bring some kind of attention to the problem or just leave it (if you can tolerate it) and just be done with that place as soon as you graduate. whatever option you choose, you won't choose wrong. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: you shouldn’t do this alone, look for two other people you are sure will support you. also, if they behave like this toward gays they are likely also racist and sexist so talk to the women and colored and see if it’s something systemic and then start gathering evidence, record them. forget about the nsf, send this to the media and then share it here and we will all go up in arms online to criticize the center, and we will demand that its head step down since he has enabled a climate of fear and abuse to flourish. just an idea :) |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: does your center have an anonymous suggestion ox? is there someone (like head of outreach) you feel comfortable speaking with? without bringing this up to someone in the center first, and bringing this to external evaluators before anyone else in the center may, sadly, cause you a lot of (undeserved) continued or worsened discomfort (ex. external evaluation presents anonymous findings, everyone is taken aback, you sit there silent, knowing it’s true, but worried you will be found out, and you feel some (undeserved) blame for the negative impression of your center and source of funding) |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: hey just wanted to say i'm really sorry this is happening to you and not all academia is like this. i'm bi and my department has 2 other gay men and used to have a bi woman adjunct married to a woman. my school even has a "queer faculty and staff caucus" where we get together (well, over zoom now) and hang out with other queer faculty/staff. one thing i love about academia is that i can be myself after growing up super religious so it makes me so sad to hear this. i like the suggestion of reporting witnessing harassment and not saying it was you. but if you have less than a year to go i might stay quiet and report it on my way out personally. i don't think either is the wrong decision and it is fine to work in your best interest even if you don't save your whole center from homophobia in the future...that is not actually your job. there is a a great group on facebook called queer phd network. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: your center has a diversity office and/ or a title ix office ( whomever deals with such things in your school). and hr. they are the ones that need to know and can implement change. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i know everyone here has said some variation of: report them. i would say, don’t. it’s easy to say: do the right thing, there are departments to help. others need it. however, they’re not in your shoes. you are miserable now. if you “report them anonymously” as some have suggested, the slurs and the jokes? they might get worse. academia is gossipy and everyone knows each other or is two or three degrees separated from each other. in highly specialized fields with these types of grants? world shrinks even more. what about allies to write up a formal complaint or to take up a series of signatures to show this is an issue? you already said people can be openly homophobic and it’s a joke. hell, they can torment you directly by throwing that shit in your face and nothing happens. if you could find people to sign or support you, how far would that go when they have to decide between being a good person or putting their careers on the line for a possible competitor once they graduate? i’m not trying to be a dick. you have endured homophobic abuse this long while working and this seems like the perfect opportunity to shine a light on this type of abuse. but if you do and it gets ignored, then it might feel super shitty to have put yourself out there and no one gives a fuck. if they do and it’s negative, then it gets worse for you. but, best case scenario: you get some traction, will the environment suddenly change because people have to watch a new training video and get a certificate that says they won’t use slurs in the workplace? i am not trying to say this is not terrible, but i am saying: you are not a coward for wanting to survive. you are being realistic and you are taking care of yourself as best you can in that type of environment. you’re stronger than a lot of us, but you are also exhausted and that’s understandable. i don’t have the right answer. maybe speaking up is right. maybe it isn’t. all i know is that you haven’t spoken up before, and having an external source of help might seem like a good idea, but they just evaluate. at the end of the day it’s up to the research center and your direct supervisor to change the environment. if it hasn’t changed, that might be your best indicator of whether this is a fight you want to add on top of your research and work related stressors. **tl:dr** – *speak up or don’t. it’s up to you. just keep in mind all three scenarios: best case, worst case and neutral/nothing happens case. and be prepared for the most likely, given the current climate and your colleagues, supervisors and administration.* |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am shocked that this is possible in science in 2020 in a 'civilised' country (the us, right?) :'( in aus/de/it where i worked/studied, the culture is 99% gay/whatever friendly. if anything it might make you more interesting. but generally, these things are personal and have nothing to do with science. don't let it set you against the field or discourage you from your science! almost all the scientists i know are 'wierd'/unusual in some way, that's one of of my favorite things about it. if you think you'd be punished, maybe try to document everything and wait a little until your closer to graduating before going public. then get the hell out. if anything, speaking up and making a stand would be considered a positive attribute by any research institute that you would want to be in. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: protect yourself first (mentally also), then denounce the shady shit. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: op, does your organization have an eeo office? you need to put this crap to a stop, but start locally if you can. you say that you’re at an nsf lab, which i’m taking to mean a group funded by nsf. a university or ngo should have some kind of eeo or diversity office or point person. go to them immediately. report this. there are steps open to you that start small scale and escalate until this is resolved. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: you need to talk to your graduate school or your hr department, depending on whether or not you are considered an employee. don’t talk to your advisor. universities have procedures and policies for this. and don’t do it anonymously, it’s already happening to you so that won’t help. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am an older lesbian working in higher education admin. here's my take:its not you responsibility to tank your life o er this situation. survival is key. if it were me, i would probably tough it out while building a case to submit to the institution and government agency after i left. i mean daily documentation of dates and times and actors and passive observers of each incident in the notes in my phone that i would transcribe to a document. then the hot second i either found a better environment or finished and left off it would go to both of those entities. i'd also find out how to get representation through the aclu and or glaad or whomever. then i'd go on about my damn life and let those folks duke it out. at that point you have essentially provided a dossier and insulated yourself from repercussion. but again. you are under no obligation to take any action which threatens your safety or well being if it goes against who you are to do so. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: what field, btw? |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: hey just wanted to say i'm really sorry this is happening to you and not all academia is like this. i'm bi and my department has 2 other gay men and used to have a bi woman adjunct married to a woman. my school even has a "queer faculty and staff caucus" where we get together (well, over zoom now) and hang out with other queer faculty/staff. one thing i love about academia is that i can be myself after growing up super religious so it makes me so sad to hear this. i like the suggestion of reporting witnessing harassment and not saying it was you. but if you have less than a year to go i might stay quiet and report it on my way out personally. i don't think either is the wrong decision and it is fine to work in your best interest even if you don't save your whole center from homophobia in the future...that is not actually your job. there is a a great group on facebook called queer phd network. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: your center has a diversity office and/ or a title ix office ( whomever deals with such things in your school). and hr. they are the ones that need to know and can implement change. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i know everyone here has said some variation of: report them. i would say, don’t. it’s easy to say: do the right thing, there are departments to help. others need it. however, they’re not in your shoes. you are miserable now. if you “report them anonymously” as some have suggested, the slurs and the jokes? they might get worse. academia is gossipy and everyone knows each other or is two or three degrees separated from each other. in highly specialized fields with these types of grants? world shrinks even more. what about allies to write up a formal complaint or to take up a series of signatures to show this is an issue? you already said people can be openly homophobic and it’s a joke. hell, they can torment you directly by throwing that shit in your face and nothing happens. if you could find people to sign or support you, how far would that go when they have to decide between being a good person or putting their careers on the line for a possible competitor once they graduate? i’m not trying to be a dick. you have endured homophobic abuse this long while working and this seems like the perfect opportunity to shine a light on this type of abuse. but if you do and it gets ignored, then it might feel super shitty to have put yourself out there and no one gives a fuck. if they do and it’s negative, then it gets worse for you. but, best case scenario: you get some traction, will the environment suddenly change because people have to watch a new training video and get a certificate that says they won’t use slurs in the workplace? i am not trying to say this is not terrible, but i am saying: you are not a coward for wanting to survive. you are being realistic and you are taking care of yourself as best you can in that type of environment. you’re stronger than a lot of us, but you are also exhausted and that’s understandable. i don’t have the right answer. maybe speaking up is right. maybe it isn’t. all i know is that you haven’t spoken up before, and having an external source of help might seem like a good idea, but they just evaluate. at the end of the day it’s up to the research center and your direct supervisor to change the environment. if it hasn’t changed, that might be your best indicator of whether this is a fight you want to add on top of your research and work related stressors. **tl:dr** – *speak up or don’t. it’s up to you. just keep in mind all three scenarios: best case, worst case and neutral/nothing happens case. and be prepared for the most likely, given the current climate and your colleagues, supervisors and administration.* |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: i am shocked that this is possible in science in 2020 in a 'civilised' country (the us, right?) :'( in aus/de/it where i worked/studied, the culture is 99% gay/whatever friendly. if anything it might make you more interesting. but generally, these things are personal and have nothing to do with science. don't let it set you against the field or discourage you from your science! almost all the scientists i know are 'wierd'/unusual in some way, that's one of of my favorite things about it. if you think you'd be punished, maybe try to document everything and wait a little until your closer to graduating before going public. then get the hell out. if anything, speaking up and making a stand would be considered a positive attribute by any research institute that you would want to be in. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: protect yourself first (mentally also), then denounce the shady shit. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: op, does your organization have an eeo office? you need to put this crap to a stop, but start locally if you can. you say that you’re at an nsf lab, which i’m taking to mean a group funded by nsf. a university or ngo should have some kind of eeo or diversity office or point person. go to them immediately. report this. there are steps open to you that start small scale and escalate until this is resolved. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: you need to talk to your graduate school or your hr department, depending on whether or not you are considered an employee. don’t talk to your advisor. universities have procedures and policies for this. and don’t do it anonymously, it’s already happening to you so that won’t help. |
user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: as a queer scholar, my advice is to protect yourself first. obviously, no one in your lab, not even your pi, is putting any value on your well-being. you must safeguard your well-being in every way possible. right now, that probably means not risking your position and reputation so close to graduation. i am furious about this, and i am so deeply sorry that your graduate education has been so badly affected (and yes, disrupted) by this hateful climate. and i know you want to identify and help dismantle this toxic environment, and you want to make it safe for you, and for others who might come after you. but as they say on airplanes, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. once you are safe (that might mean out of that lab, that might mean after you complete a postdoc and have the assurance of excellent letters of rec -- only you will know when you feel truly safe), then you will be able to act. in the meantime, keep the contact information of the nsf investigator. keep a meticulous record (with times and dates) of every instance of discrimination and harassment you have faced during your time at this research center. and then later, when you are safe, send that information to the nsf investigators, noting that you were afraid of retaliation while you were still a student there. at that time, you can also decide whether to send this report anonymously. i personally hope you soon achieve such a degree of safety, security, and success that you will be able to file this report with your name signed legibly -- in purple glitter ink. i am rooting for you. find and draw upon support from friends and loved ones. keep your mind clear from distractions as much as possible, and do excellent work until you can get out of this vile environment. then, when you are ready, toss the bomb. | user: should i speak up about homophobia in research center? **i am a gay graduate student who's part of an nsf research center in the hard sciences. an external evaluator is polling members about the center's climate to send to the administrators and to the nsf. i've been on the receiving end of homophobia on a number of occasions in the center.** in one instance, another grad student learned about me while we were at a conference and spent the next day following me around and calling me gay slurs when others were out of earshot. they also told people not to trust me and that i don't belong at the conference. at a professional lunch with another lab in the center, the other graduate students made horrible gay jokes throughout the meal. two of them managed to mockingly imitate a gay couple and a third dropped the f-bomb a few times for good measure. i have more examples that i won't list here, but there's an atmosphere around the center that makes me feel unwelcome and at risk of being treated unfairly. having to hide myself has probably has affected my mental state and therefor my research. the only other gay student in the center ended up leaving because of this environment. **i've been considering anonymously emailing the person evaluating the research center to let them know about my experiences, but have been struggling with the decision.** i want someone to know and for something to be done. on the other hand, i'm worried about danger to my professional life if i speak up and don't think anything will change even if i am heard and go through that risk. talking to the evaluator could be seen by the administrators as me sabotaging the center's funding, but i am mainly concerned about what would happen if people in my home lab learn that i am gay from the report. they don't know about me, but if people hear about someone complaining in the center then it wouldn't be hard to find out who it is since i'm the only gay one in a tiny research center. my advisor is super catholic and russian and a lot of the people i work with are also pretty religious. i'm only a year away from graduating and am thinking that i should just suck it up and then leave this bad situation when i get my degree. however, i also feel like such a coward for not being able to speak up about this and having to pretend that everything is great when i am literally fantasizing about leaving the field i am in to be around more accepting researchers. **what do you think reddit? has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do?** bot: what field, btw? |