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user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: my partner is entering his phd this year. some ideas i have for him: quality leather satchel/laptop bag (will last forever), shadow box containing his graduation regalia and degree, bound copy of thesis, etc. the leather bag is probably the best “gift to self” idea on the list because you can use it daily in your work and it will only become better with use.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought myself an ipad and gave myself a month off to rest. my partner bought me diamond stud earrings (have always wanted some.) favourite gift was the rest! i was starting a postdoc a few months later and it gave me the break i needed!

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i won't defend until next summer, but i plan on getting myself a tattoo.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: yep, i got the large tattoo i'd been wanting for years. it's not directly or explicitly about my research, but the aesthetic evokes some of the stuff i was contemplating. and now i carry it with me.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: this is going to sound lame, but as kind of a treat for myself, i bought my own set of regalia. already have a career outside of academia so i will most likely never ever need it again, but goddamnit i wanted it. might buy myself an owl mask and wear it all at halloween. (caveat: i did not buy the super expensive herff jones bullshit, but found a decent quality off- brand supplier. still wasn't cheap, but it was a fraction of the price of the official ones. i also didn't wear it for the actual ceremony (still had to rent) because i didn't want to stick out in case it wasn't identical, but in retrospect i think it would've been fine. point is, it was 100% frivolous.)

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i had planned to when i started the program, but when i reached that point i wondered where i had thought the money to do that was going to come from. i did buy a nice pair of pants to defend in, but they actually didn't fit and a new pair wasn't going to arrive in time, so i ended up just wearing pants i already had. i did take a day trip to the town where i went to undergrad with a couple of my childhood friends the next day, and we had a nice lunch and got blowouts, which felt like a real treat! i'm finishing my postdoc and starting my first faculty position at the end of this month though, and i do think i'll probably get something nice for myself. maybe frame my diploma for my office? or maybe i'll just get some nice clothes (which won't last forever, but will certainly mark the transition).

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: bought myself an xbox one and a cool game as a gift after my defense and then proceeded to vegg out for about three days :)

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i really like fountain pens, and i plan to save up through my program and get myself a nice fountain pen once i successfully finish my phd.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i was able to pay my security deposit for a place where i was going to do my post-doc. that's all the money i had to "buy myself a nice gift." i still haven't been able to buy a frame for my diploma. that cardboard tube is getting its use

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: no, i had a relatively young child at home. more important things to address by that point.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i defended in the early months of this year and got a pretty prestigious postdoc; when i arrive in my new town next month i'm buying myself a celebratory le creuset dutch oven. i can at least sell the dutch oven if i don't get a job after my postdoc to cover some expenses. it's like a dowry for academics.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought some repairs on my car that broke down 2 weeks after my last stipend check cleared and then stressed about rent for the next few months. good times...

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought myself an ipad and gave myself a month off to rest. my partner bought me diamond stud earrings (have always wanted some.) favourite gift was the rest! i was starting a postdoc a few months later and it gave me the break i needed!

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i won't defend until next summer, but i plan on getting myself a tattoo.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: yep, i got the large tattoo i'd been wanting for years. it's not directly or explicitly about my research, but the aesthetic evokes some of the stuff i was contemplating. and now i carry it with me.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: this is going to sound lame, but as kind of a treat for myself, i bought my own set of regalia. already have a career outside of academia so i will most likely never ever need it again, but goddamnit i wanted it. might buy myself an owl mask and wear it all at halloween. (caveat: i did not buy the super expensive herff jones bullshit, but found a decent quality off- brand supplier. still wasn't cheap, but it was a fraction of the price of the official ones. i also didn't wear it for the actual ceremony (still had to rent) because i didn't want to stick out in case it wasn't identical, but in retrospect i think it would've been fine. point is, it was 100% frivolous.)

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i had planned to when i started the program, but when i reached that point i wondered where i had thought the money to do that was going to come from. i did buy a nice pair of pants to defend in, but they actually didn't fit and a new pair wasn't going to arrive in time, so i ended up just wearing pants i already had. i did take a day trip to the town where i went to undergrad with a couple of my childhood friends the next day, and we had a nice lunch and got blowouts, which felt like a real treat! i'm finishing my postdoc and starting my first faculty position at the end of this month though, and i do think i'll probably get something nice for myself. maybe frame my diploma for my office? or maybe i'll just get some nice clothes (which won't last forever, but will certainly mark the transition).

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: bought myself an xbox one and a cool game as a gift after my defense and then proceeded to vegg out for about three days :)

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i really like fountain pens, and i plan to save up through my program and get myself a nice fountain pen once i successfully finish my phd.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i was able to pay my security deposit for a place where i was going to do my post-doc. that's all the money i had to "buy myself a nice gift." i still haven't been able to buy a frame for my diploma. that cardboard tube is getting its use

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: no, i had a relatively young child at home. more important things to address by that point.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought chicken nuggets, french fries, and a diet coke, and took the best 2 hour nap of my life.

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i bought some repairs on my car that broke down 2 weeks after my last stipend check cleared and then stressed about rent for the next few months. good times...

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: at this point, i buy myself something nice as a reward after each semester lmaoo

user: did you buy yourselves a nice gift when you defended your phd? i was talking to a fellow grad student recently and she told me she’s been planning to buy herself a really nice pair of shoes when she defends, as a gift to herself for making it through. i defend in a little over a month and i can’t stop thinking about this. i feel like i should commemorate this milestone with something that i can hold onto forever but i’m at a loss for ideas. have you ever given yourself a really nice gift either for defending or reaching some other academic milestone? if so, what was it? bot: i was able to pay my security deposit for a place where i was going to do my post-doc. that's all the money i had to "buy myself a nice gift." i still haven't been able to buy a frame for my diploma. that cardboard tube is getting its use

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i largely do agree with the other commenters -- a professor says something like this because they believe that you are not meeting the kind of benchmarks they would reasonably expect out of someone who will go on to be successful in the field. at the same time, i would never tell a student directly that they aren't cut out for a field. it's unnecessarily harsh and the phrasing suggests that there's an inherent, unmodifiable suitability factor to each person. but, i think it would be appropriate (and important) for a professor to say, for example, "you are \[underperforming in/struggling with\] \_\_\_\_, and this is an important \[concept/skill\] for \[field\]. this is concerning, because it only gets harder from here."

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i know it's hard, but i think it will benefit you to think harder about this than to just condemn these professors because their feedback hurt your feelings. the fact that you admired this ir professor is not a reason he shouldn't give you professional advice. that's his job. he may have wanted to help you by not encouraging you to keep pursuing a degree or career in which he, as an expert, believes you can't succeed. when you think back to the work you did for these professors in their classes, can you think of any evidence that what they told you wasn't *true*? if you want to be successful in the areas in which they are advising you, whether their advice was truthful is a lot more important than whether it was kind. in my experience, getting better at something where i was struggling to this degree has required a total paradigm shift, not just trying harder and definitely not just rejecting any advice that hurt my feelings. i had to find a new reason to be there, new way to study, new way to manage projects, new way to think. i think that's common. it's concerning to me that you've gotten this type of feedback from multiple people in multiple different fields. it suggests to me that maybe there is something cross-cutting you need help with, like writing or professionalism or being more of an autodidact, that is undermining you in multiple settings. i would strongly suggest talking about this with a mentor you like and trust, and asking them to be candid with you. whatever they say, don't take it personally-- constructive feedback is a gift. someone who thought they couldn't help you would be more likely to say nothing. take some time and be kind to yourself. it really hurts to receive this kind of feedback, and it's ok to not be ready to process it or act on it immediately.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: on the flip side, encouraging students that show obvious bad habits and qualities does them no favors. some careers require a long, competitive road, and it is wrong to tell students their chances are better than they are. check out r/gradschool for some testimonials. if one person telling someone that they can’t do a thing is enough to dissuade them, how strong a dream could it have been?

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: anyone can learn and become an expert in anything, with enough time, the right teachers, and the right teaching processes. your professor probably feels like you have or will struggle too much in their program. this doesn't mean you can't do it. if you don't want to give up, let their doubt motivate you to prove you are capable.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: on the flip side, encouraging students that show obvious bad habits and qualities does them no favors. some careers require a long, competitive road, and it is wrong to tell students their chances are better than they are. check out r/gradschool for some testimonials. if one person telling someone that they can’t do a thing is enough to dissuade them, how strong a dream could it have been?

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: not everyone is cutout for everything. some professors can be too harsh and unreasonable but unfortunately some people simply don’t cut it. as a professor that has success in their respective field you know what it takes and can likely pinpoint someone that doesn’t have it

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: if you want to be successful in this field, use what your prof said as motivation to up your game. work your butt off in your field, do the extra work to get your ir theory comprehension up. read secondary resources, search the internet for synopses of theory, read extra theory on your own. this prof would probably love it if you proved them wrong, and later on down the road when you are successful in your area you let them know that they motivated you to work harder and be better. i know this sounds like some strange sports motivational speech, but it's a valid approach, and it works. there will always be people who will doubt you, so fight back. good luck.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i have a colleague who wants to do this: she thinks we should identify students who "have no chance of completing the major" and advise them into some other department by the end of the first year. i'm opposed to that-- and i'm the department chair so i win --because it doesn't accept the idea that students can grow and mature along the way. moreover, we have a whole sequence of required majors' courses they are required to pass, so in the worst case why not let them fail a few and *then* advise them out? but she thinks it's better to steer them away earlier so they have as much time as possible to complete another major. part if it is also, i suspect, as desire to minimize the number of students who fail to graduate after four years in our department. advising part of our job. but making decisions *for* our students is not. i think we should be completely honest with them; it's fine to say "i'm concerned that you won't be able to complete the major requirements" but not to say "you can't major in \_\_\_\_\_, go find something else." they have to make their own (informed) decisions.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i agree with the other professors on this thread. while it might sound a bit harsh to hear a professor say “they aren’t cut out” for a field, it’s probably because the professor has some idea what the major and/or career entails and doesn’t see passion from the student. i teach technical writing. i once had a tech writing major tell me that she didn’t see any reason to do an audience analysis that she was late turning in. she couldn’t imagine ever having to do an audience analysis after graduation. i told her that audience analysis is the most basic job duty of a technical writer, and if she couldn’t bring herself to do it as a student, she would struggle in the profession. she was offended, but i was trying to help her avoid pursuing a degree and career that she didn’t seem to want.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i would give a student more specifics than "you're not cut out for this." i think being that general is just mean and not helpful. but not saying anything at all is also cruel in a different way. it lets you waste your time and money on something you don't have a reasonable chance of being successful at. let me give you an example. i'm in education. sometimes i have students who want to be teachers but who are actually terrible at getting up in front of a class and speaking. some will take steps to work on this and improve it, and sometimes they improve... sometimes they don't, no matter how hard they try. and they are not going to have a good time getting up in front of a class of kids and trying to teach them. if they manage to successfully complete student teaching (doubtful, and all the mentor teachers who are gracious enough to host our interns have enough work to do already without having to fix this issue) they are never going to be able to get through a job interview and mock lesson to get a job. an actual class of students would eat them alive. it is more fair to tell them that up front and try to help them find something they will be successful at instead of just let them flounder and waste years of their life and money out of their pockets. in undergrad, i had a roommate who was a music performance major. she did fine in music history, theory, etc... but she was *horrible* at her actual instrument. she took extra lessons with different teachers, went to masterclasses, did every single thing possible and she still sounded like a middle school beginner band kid even after 4 years of college. it was simply not possible for her to perform at the necessary level and honestly she never should have been admitted as a performance major in the first place. her lesson teacher just didn't want to drop a student from her studio because it lowered her numbers. i was so angry on her behalf that after 4 years she didn't have a degree and was unlikely to get one... and she had to change her major *four years later.* how is that not unbelievably cruel? i understand giving her a year to see if she could make progress, but after that, it's time to be up front and honest and steer students in a more productive direction. she went on to have a successful career in a completely different field, which she could have done much sooner had someone told her earlier instead of letting her hang around to pad their studio numbers.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: i’ve discouraged a small handful of students from my stem field, often because they just seem totally unsuited to it. many students say they are “passionate” about something but don’t necessarily have the academic drive or commitment to continue. are you studying and reading enough? i never discourage a student to be petty or mean. this is not always the case among academics. my advice would be to carefully consider your motives and passion for the field and make sure it’s the right thing. do you have a natural intuition and inclination for the work? and if you don’t, do you make up for it in work ethic, study, and outside reading? he may truly believe you’re not suited to it. he could be wrong or he could be right. only more time will tell. ps loving something doesn’t make you good at it. this is often why we tell students not to pursue a field. some people are truly truly not suited to certain areas.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: in my experience the students who's director told them this were trying to tell them their work wasn't good enough for the level required in a "self-reflective way". in some cases it's a way to tell a student that they don't want to put efforts into training them anymore, in others it's honest worry that the person is wasting valuable time and money on their studies. that being said, i know both types of students. 1: student who decided to leave a ph.d and do a second masters instead because they agreed that it would take too much for them to achieve it. 2: student who changed his director during master degree after being told that he wasnt cut out for it and did a phd and is now a young professor. he is proud of it but it did take a toll on him (to be told that and to do the phd afterwards).

user: why do professors feel the need to tell students they aren't cut out for certain careers or them to pursue something else? i know it's not all professors, but why do some professors feel the need to destroy students passions by telling them to drop the majors/minors? from personal experience i've had professors tell me to not pursue stem careers because i wasn't cut out for it. i was so distraught and hate myself for listening to them. i'm studying environmental policy now and am doing a minor in ir and i've spent the majority of my free electives taking the courses to complete it, the issue is that i've been struggling a bit trying to grasp the understanding of ir theory and i ask for help from the professor quite a bit, recently he asked why i was taking the course and i told him that i was pursuing a minor in it, he looked surprised and then told me it would be best if i dropped the minor, since i didn't seem "cut out" for it. i really admire the work this professor does in the field, hearing that just broke my heart that i cried after ending the zoom call with him. bot: it’s not a passion if it can be “crushed” by some words spoken by a professor.

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: i get paid to teach and research about vikings... when there isn’t a global pandemic i get to fly to england every year or so and hang out with other folks who do the same and drink and argue and visit castles and stuff. i get to have interesting conversations with enthusiastic young adults who remind me that not everyone is an irretrievable monster and i get to watch them transform from little gangly baby deer doofuses to fully functional adult doofuses. obviously there are a lot of stressors, it requires a tremendous amount of luck **and** effort to succeed, and not every day or every interaction is positive by a long shot but still, how many people actually get to say they are doing what they actually want to do for a living?

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: there are people complaining about academia, but there are also people complaining about just about every other job out there. i think people naturally complain about work. that being said, from my perspective, i like academia way more than the alternative (for me, that is practicing law).

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: i get paid to teach and research about vikings... when there isn’t a global pandemic i get to fly to england every year or so and hang out with other folks who do the same and drink and argue and visit castles and stuff. i get to have interesting conversations with enthusiastic young adults who remind me that not everyone is an irretrievable monster and i get to watch them transform from little gangly baby deer doofuses to fully functional adult doofuses. obviously there are a lot of stressors, it requires a tremendous amount of luck **and** effort to succeed, and not every day or every interaction is positive by a long shot but still, how many people actually get to say they are doing what they actually want to do for a living?

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: uh, because not everybody is miserable. i love my tt ap job, my department and colleagues are great, and our school takes care of us. my work life balance is great, i make good money, and get to work on research i love and control 80% of the time. even teaching is fun and engaging, albeit draining, when i actually have to do it. yes, i know i’m very very lucky, but just wanted to make a point that not everyone is miserable or unhappy.

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: i get paid to teach and research about vikings... when there isn’t a global pandemic i get to fly to england every year or so and hang out with other folks who do the same and drink and argue and visit castles and stuff. i get to have interesting conversations with enthusiastic young adults who remind me that not everyone is an irretrievable monster and i get to watch them transform from little gangly baby deer doofuses to fully functional adult doofuses. obviously there are a lot of stressors, it requires a tremendous amount of luck **and** effort to succeed, and not every day or every interaction is positive by a long shot but still, how many people actually get to say they are doing what they actually want to do for a living?

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: lack of (awareness of) alternatives is a big one; but also some combination of being fanatic about the particular job, ego, brainwashing, over-identification with the job, self-delusion. and, very importantly i think - it's not the same experience for everybody, like, at all. some people are lucky in terms of privilege/connections/savvy and hence access to grants etc, and have a wonderful time; and there are presumably some actually nice departments out there that haven't been corrupted by marketization. so i think people see that and sort of have the "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" thing, as if it's in reach for them. and people vary in how much they're bothered by the downsides. the old "you don't have to be a sociopath to thrive in academia, but it helps" thing holds too true, too often.

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: i could make a lot more money in the industry, but i can't stand the 'professional' approach to work: 8 to 5, wearing a shirt, working on stuff because it's what the company wants and not because it's what you find interesting. so yeah, i'm overworked (but that's my own fault), underpayed and stressed out about what my next position will be, but i get to be all that from my bed, doing what i love.

user: there are so many people complaining about academia, being overworked and underpaid, not having work-life balance,... why do people actually want to work in academia? i left academia 5 yrs ago, after 2 postdocs. i loved my research but wasn't interested that much in teaching, so i didn't really try to get a job in academia. bot: lack of (awareness of) alternatives is a big one; but also some combination of being fanatic about the particular job, ego, brainwashing, over-identification with the job, self-delusion. and, very importantly i think - it's not the same experience for everybody, like, at all. some people are lucky in terms of privilege/connections/savvy and hence access to grants etc, and have a wonderful time; and there are presumably some actually nice departments out there that haven't been corrupted by marketization. so i think people see that and sort of have the "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" thing, as if it's in reach for them. and people vary in how much they're bothered by the downsides. the old "you don't have to be a sociopath to thrive in academia, but it helps" thing holds too true, too often.

user: are those of you on the us job market worried about job prospects post roe v wade? i'm a young (28 yo) woman currently in a vap position and a year out from my phd. i'll be hitting the job market hard again this fall with the hopes of landing a tt job. but i can't help but feel like my options will be extremely limited, especially if i decide not to apply in an states with current/forthcoming abortion bans, which is a high possibility for me as a childfree person. as if the the tt market wasn't competitive enough, now most academics will be clamoring (even more than usual) to apply to jobs in blue states and it just makes me wonder if it's even worth it anymore. i just saw my dream job posted at a school in st. louis, mo. prior to roe being overturned, my partner and i were actually talking about st. louis being an ideal place for us to end up because of the low cost of living but high cultural value. dream job + dream place, but it doesn't even really make sense to apply in a place where i don't have rights to life-saving healthcare. i guess i'm just looking to vent or perhaps looking for support or just wanting to see if other academics are overwhelmed/upset about this particular aspect of the current fucked up situation in the us. bot: absolutely. i'm in a red state and have an academic job i really wanted. i am now considering leaving academia just so i can escape this state.

user: are those of you on the us job market worried about job prospects post roe v wade? i'm a young (28 yo) woman currently in a vap position and a year out from my phd. i'll be hitting the job market hard again this fall with the hopes of landing a tt job. but i can't help but feel like my options will be extremely limited, especially if i decide not to apply in an states with current/forthcoming abortion bans, which is a high possibility for me as a childfree person. as if the the tt market wasn't competitive enough, now most academics will be clamoring (even more than usual) to apply to jobs in blue states and it just makes me wonder if it's even worth it anymore. i just saw my dream job posted at a school in st. louis, mo. prior to roe being overturned, my partner and i were actually talking about st. louis being an ideal place for us to end up because of the low cost of living but high cultural value. dream job + dream place, but it doesn't even really make sense to apply in a place where i don't have rights to life-saving healthcare. i guess i'm just looking to vent or perhaps looking for support or just wanting to see if other academics are overwhelmed/upset about this particular aspect of the current fucked up situation in the us. bot: i'm also in a visiting position and am applying everywhere i can. though, due to my so's job and kids, can't move to get a full time. i'm stuck applying in florida and worried about a 15 week ban or worse.

user: are those of you on the us job market worried about job prospects post roe v wade? i'm a young (28 yo) woman currently in a vap position and a year out from my phd. i'll be hitting the job market hard again this fall with the hopes of landing a tt job. but i can't help but feel like my options will be extremely limited, especially if i decide not to apply in an states with current/forthcoming abortion bans, which is a high possibility for me as a childfree person. as if the the tt market wasn't competitive enough, now most academics will be clamoring (even more than usual) to apply to jobs in blue states and it just makes me wonder if it's even worth it anymore. i just saw my dream job posted at a school in st. louis, mo. prior to roe being overturned, my partner and i were actually talking about st. louis being an ideal place for us to end up because of the low cost of living but high cultural value. dream job + dream place, but it doesn't even really make sense to apply in a place where i don't have rights to life-saving healthcare. i guess i'm just looking to vent or perhaps looking for support or just wanting to see if other academics are overwhelmed/upset about this particular aspect of the current fucked up situation in the us. bot: the question before you, imo, is whether or not you would live in a red state. if you get a tt job you’ll be financially privileged enough to get abortion care in another state or find a work around. this is super shitty but i think it is your reality (financial privilege)

user: are those of you on the us job market worried about job prospects post roe v wade? i'm a young (28 yo) woman currently in a vap position and a year out from my phd. i'll be hitting the job market hard again this fall with the hopes of landing a tt job. but i can't help but feel like my options will be extremely limited, especially if i decide not to apply in an states with current/forthcoming abortion bans, which is a high possibility for me as a childfree person. as if the the tt market wasn't competitive enough, now most academics will be clamoring (even more than usual) to apply to jobs in blue states and it just makes me wonder if it's even worth it anymore. i just saw my dream job posted at a school in st. louis, mo. prior to roe being overturned, my partner and i were actually talking about st. louis being an ideal place for us to end up because of the low cost of living but high cultural value. dream job + dream place, but it doesn't even really make sense to apply in a place where i don't have rights to life-saving healthcare. i guess i'm just looking to vent or perhaps looking for support or just wanting to see if other academics are overwhelmed/upset about this particular aspect of the current fucked up situation in the us. bot: i'm also in a visiting position and am applying everywhere i can. though, due to my so's job and kids, can't move to get a full time. i'm stuck applying in florida and worried about a 15 week ban or worse.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: fuck that. i would contact the editor in chief. this editor is riding roughshod over the reputation of the journal - if the eic does nothing, then frankly spend the rest of your career not publishing there and making sure everyone you work with knows why.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: this is certainly unethical, particularly as these comments are usually the purview of the reviewers and not often made by editors. if you're willing to pursue this, it may be worth contacting the journal offices (of course not the same editor) and indicating this kind of unethical behavior, but that's not a sure thing - some journals may act to preserve their academic integrity, others may be more protective of their editors and not take action.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: fuck that. i would contact the editor in chief. this editor is riding roughshod over the reputation of the journal - if the eic does nothing, then frankly spend the rest of your career not publishing there and making sure everyone you work with knows why.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: contact the other editors about this

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: 15?!! haha what a pos. even if your manuscript is a review, this is insane. your advisor must have seen these sorts of things before to act so lackadaisical.. either way, congratulations on your manuscript being accepted

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: i think it is things like these that make academia lose credibility and drive the public distrust in science. unless we actively take measures to address these actions, distrust will continue to grow, understandably and justifiably so, and so will the consequences of this on scientific progress and it’s practical implications. the pandemic is a perfect example of this.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: 15?!! haha what a pos. even if your manuscript is a review, this is insane. your advisor must have seen these sorts of things before to act so lackadaisical.. either way, congratulations on your manuscript being accepted

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: yeh this is a bit shady alright. an exception might be where (in my field), an editor had perhaps written a specific test or procedure, or otherwise specially contributed to something the reviewers perhaps asked for elaboration in. in the latter case, they might be saving you some time, but it's rare and definitely not standard practice. not sure what stage the paper is at but if it's out of the first round of r&r then they should defer to the reviewers. if they think it's in shape, and you've addressed their concerns, then there is no reason (the above aside) for an editor to suggest that. as other say, boosting their own and the journals citations like this is shady practice.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: your advisor is shady as well. and that editor should be removed from whatever journal this is. forcing other authors to include these "fake" citations as a criteria for publication is completely unacceptable. if you want to go nuclear (and i do not advise this) but one could withdraw your paper from the journal with the reason that the editor forced unnecessary citations into it.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: i think it is things like these that make academia lose credibility and drive the public distrust in science. unless we actively take measures to address these actions, distrust will continue to grow, understandably and justifiably so, and so will the consequences of this on scientific progress and it’s practical implications. the pandemic is a perfect example of this.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: your advisor is shady as well. and that editor should be removed from whatever journal this is. forcing other authors to include these "fake" citations as a criteria for publication is completely unacceptable. if you want to go nuclear (and i do not advise this) but one could withdraw your paper from the journal with the reason that the editor forced unnecessary citations into it.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: yeh this is a bit shady alright. an exception might be where (in my field), an editor had perhaps written a specific test or procedure, or otherwise specially contributed to something the reviewers perhaps asked for elaboration in. in the latter case, they might be saving you some time, but it's rare and definitely not standard practice. not sure what stage the paper is at but if it's out of the first round of r&r then they should defer to the reviewers. if they think it's in shape, and you've addressed their concerns, then there is no reason (the above aside) for an editor to suggest that. as other say, boosting their own and the journals citations like this is shady practice.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: shady, but surprisingly common. often times reviewers will try the same thing. the most vicious reviews i ever got were two reviewers for a pretty crappy book. they were clearly personally offended and both ripped into the work in a way i'd never seen before or since. i was scratching my head, but one of them suggested i should have cited a particular phd thesis (which had never been cited before), instead of the work by that person's advisor, which i did cite. looking at the editorial board, it turned out the author of that thesis and her husband were on it. i didn't bother revising it.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: i think it is things like these that make academia lose credibility and drive the public distrust in science. unless we actively take measures to address these actions, distrust will continue to grow, understandably and justifiably so, and so will the consequences of this on scientific progress and it’s practical implications. the pandemic is a perfect example of this.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: shady, but surprisingly common. often times reviewers will try the same thing. the most vicious reviews i ever got were two reviewers for a pretty crappy book. they were clearly personally offended and both ripped into the work in a way i'd never seen before or since. i was scratching my head, but one of them suggested i should have cited a particular phd thesis (which had never been cited before), instead of the work by that person's advisor, which i did cite. looking at the editorial board, it turned out the author of that thesis and her husband were on it. i didn't bother revising it.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: yeh this is a bit shady alright. an exception might be where (in my field), an editor had perhaps written a specific test or procedure, or otherwise specially contributed to something the reviewers perhaps asked for elaboration in. in the latter case, they might be saving you some time, but it's rare and definitely not standard practice. not sure what stage the paper is at but if it's out of the first round of r&r then they should defer to the reviewers. if they think it's in shape, and you've addressed their concerns, then there is no reason (the above aside) for an editor to suggest that. as other say, boosting their own and the journals citations like this is shady practice.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: 1-2 citation requests is pretty normal. shouldn't be, but it is. 15 is absurd. your advisor is trying to move things along without making a fuss. maybe your advisor knows the editor, or knows the editor in chief, and knows they tend to hold a grudge. i would recommend talking with your advisor if you can about it. say something like, "i'm not trying to go back on what we decided, but it's important to me for my professional development to understand why we cited all those papers." sometimes there are people in a field it's just better not to cross. it shouldn't be that way, but sometimes it is. it could be that your advisor was protecting you from such people. especially early in your career, discretion can be wise. it could also be that your advisor just doesn't like confrontation or wanted the paper out the door. no way of knowing.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: your advisor should have the courage to tell you otherwise. for students, it is hard to stand up against these very bold moves, but this should not be the case for your advisor. i get that sometimes is better to accept things and move on, and this appears to be his/her strategy. but man, what a shady thing for everyone. just for the sake of curiosity, is it a highly ranked journal? jcr? which q?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: 1-2 citation requests is pretty normal. shouldn't be, but it is. 15 is absurd. your advisor is trying to move things along without making a fuss. maybe your advisor knows the editor, or knows the editor in chief, and knows they tend to hold a grudge. i would recommend talking with your advisor if you can about it. say something like, "i'm not trying to go back on what we decided, but it's important to me for my professional development to understand why we cited all those papers." sometimes there are people in a field it's just better not to cross. it shouldn't be that way, but sometimes it is. it could be that your advisor was protecting you from such people. especially early in your career, discretion can be wise. it could also be that your advisor just doesn't like confrontation or wanted the paper out the door. no way of knowing.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: out of curiosity: which field are you working in?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: this is called "coercive citation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/coercive\_citation and is generally considered a very unethical practice. i absolutely refuse to add requested citations from reviewers (a few times recently), and i clearly spell out to the editor why i will not be adding the citations (which normally have little to do with the subject material). for an editor to do this is way out of line. i would probably withdraw, and inform both the eic (if there is one) and the publisher (who are a big stick over journals). however, i realize for many authors this can be difficult, given how hard it can be to get stuff published, and often how important it is. i think i saw in the thread that the impact was 6. i would be interested if the requested citations were to the editors papers in the same journal as an attempt at impact factor. if more than half of the requested citations were to the journal - i would also be cc'ing a copy of the email to clarivates. they take this sort of stuff quite seriously....

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: reviewers do this all the time, the key difference here is you know who the editor is. consider seriously whether you want to do anything about it at your career stage. you have little to gain and much to lose.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: this is called "coercive citation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/coercive\_citation and is generally considered a very unethical practice. i absolutely refuse to add requested citations from reviewers (a few times recently), and i clearly spell out to the editor why i will not be adding the citations (which normally have little to do with the subject material). for an editor to do this is way out of line. i would probably withdraw, and inform both the eic (if there is one) and the publisher (who are a big stick over journals). however, i realize for many authors this can be difficult, given how hard it can be to get stuff published, and often how important it is. i think i saw in the thread that the impact was 6. i would be interested if the requested citations were to the editors papers in the same journal as an attempt at impact factor. if more than half of the requested citations were to the journal - i would also be cc'ing a copy of the email to clarivates. they take this sort of stuff quite seriously....

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: out of curiosity: which field are you working in?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: this is called "coercive citation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/coercive\_citation and is generally considered a very unethical practice. i absolutely refuse to add requested citations from reviewers (a few times recently), and i clearly spell out to the editor why i will not be adding the citations (which normally have little to do with the subject material). for an editor to do this is way out of line. i would probably withdraw, and inform both the eic (if there is one) and the publisher (who are a big stick over journals). however, i realize for many authors this can be difficult, given how hard it can be to get stuff published, and often how important it is. i think i saw in the thread that the impact was 6. i would be interested if the requested citations were to the editors papers in the same journal as an attempt at impact factor. if more than half of the requested citations were to the journal - i would also be cc'ing a copy of the email to clarivates. they take this sort of stuff quite seriously....

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: you knew who the editor was. why did you not go public with this?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: this is called "coercive citation": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/coercive\_citation and is generally considered a very unethical practice. i absolutely refuse to add requested citations from reviewers (a few times recently), and i clearly spell out to the editor why i will not be adding the citations (which normally have little to do with the subject material). for an editor to do this is way out of line. i would probably withdraw, and inform both the eic (if there is one) and the publisher (who are a big stick over journals). however, i realize for many authors this can be difficult, given how hard it can be to get stuff published, and often how important it is. i think i saw in the thread that the impact was 6. i would be interested if the requested citations were to the editors papers in the same journal as an attempt at impact factor. if more than half of the requested citations were to the journal - i would also be cc'ing a copy of the email to clarivates. they take this sort of stuff quite seriously....

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: mind sharing what's the journal?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: at what point does it become ok to just state what journal this is about? obviously this editor is engaged in shady unethical business.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: out of curiosity: which field are you working in?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: not just extremely shady or unethical, but bordering on criminality. the editor held you in a vice and coerced you into giving into their ransom demands. this is beyond comprehensible, asking an author to cite no less than 15 of their papers or otherwise they would be flat rejected. and then when you caved in, the paper was accepted. this is the publishing world's version of gangsterism. this should not be taken lying down. beyond tarnishing the reputation of this journal, if it has any left at this stage, the editor's actions have created a "crime scene" in which you and your advisor are accomplices. if these actions become the norm, then we risk great damage to journal reputations. this cannot become the norm. raising hell is necessary to stem this rot.

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: out of curiosity: which field are you working in?

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: that editor should have been put into academia jail. as a reviewer, or worse an editor, it is highly unethical to ask the paper authors to cite someone specific unless it is totally clear as day that the citation target is a near-absolute authority on the subject. where the hell did you publish to?!

user: editor is "strongly" encouraging me to cote his papers. i received my review comments for a recent manuscript. the comments were addressable, but the editor sent a list of 15 of his papers asking to cite them. some of the papers are somewhat relevant, so i cite 4 of them. the manuscript came back, and the editor says it will be accepted once i fix some "citation issues" my advisor told me to just cite every paper on the list and send it back. i did, and the paper got accepted. does this not seem a bit shady? seems like the editor is using his position to boost his citations. bot: out of curiosity: which field are you working in?

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: then we also have to split the usa into r1, rh2, community college, etc. so... no. added: r2 not rh2...

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: there is r/askacademiauk, could direct people there too? otherwise, country specification or flag flairs would be helpful.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: yeah, flairing country or at least by discipline (even if it's just major streams e.g stem/humanities/socsci) would help tremendously in getting answers rather than the typical 'ymmv' disclaimer.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: food for thought, adding more flair options would solve this issue.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: no, i don't think there should be a split. however, there should be a requirement that the country is either mentioned in the post or in the user flair. you could also consider creating post flairs.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: is it possible to include [country] and [field] in the submission title text box by default? e.g. [country] [field] - post title [usa] [humanities] - how many hours a week do you spend at work? [australia] [stem] - what the hell is a qualifying exam??? i think this fixes the problem, without applying flairs to the *user*. that way if i have experience/questions in more than one country, i can respond without having to change my flair or causing confusion.

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: if the questions specified a locale it would save a lot of trouble. if they said a general field that would also help. comments dont have to specify unless relevant i would think

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: ah yes, the only two countries in the existence. usa and the rest of the world

user: i notice a lot of things are different between usa academia and "rest of the world" academia. should we split up askacademia? or make a rule that you have to specify country with each question? gets confusing otherwise. in true academia fashion we should not endeavour to improve anything and leave it as broken as it was 🤣 bot: a second property that is not mentioned enough is the academic field. there are a lot of questions like "how do i write this", "how do not cite this", "how do i apply for this" or "how do we fix order of authors". however all these questions can vary strongly on the field. and even in the general field there can be differences, a high energy physicist might just publish authors (all 200 of them) alphabetically, while a fluid physicist does that differently. field is already much better than country though, but flares can be very general, e.g. "stem" is really broad.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: research scientist is a legit academic career, but it is not tt. in the absence of a post-doc, they should be applying for these positions.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: this is exactly what i'm worried about. i apologize for not answering your question but i'm hoping you may consider my dilemma. i'm a physics masters student interested in advanced theoretical physics. though i'm doing masters right now, i don't think i'm competent enough do any kind of research in the field i'm interested in. i haven't solved any problems from books or assignments. i have ok grades. i don't think i'm a dumbass and consider myself to be reasonably good at things which i've studied properly which is not much. but i doubt i can do research in string theory if i didn't even read sakurai/goldstein properly. i admit all my problems are due to procrastination. i'm in a serious dilemma. should i just try to do some small lame master's thesis and apply for grad school or should i leave masters and start masters all over again in a different uni to properly study? i may procrastinate once again but i'm really worried i would not be able to do any good research if i don't know the basics and regret later in life. some information: i get paid while doing masters in my country so money is not an issue. i sincerely can't imagine myself not learning physics or science in general to understand the world. i don't know what else is there other than understanding the world and i think physics is the one i love the most because i believe in reductionism and believe that everything should be understood from the absolute fundamental ideas. my school has nothing to do with it. it's me and my fucking procrastination. i'm hoping that the result would be different this time. i might be wrong and waste another couple of years, but is there any other option i have? appreciate any response. thanks.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: research scientist is a legit academic career, but it is not tt. in the absence of a post-doc, they should be applying for these positions.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: you're not responsible for making career decisions for your student, so you don't “have” to deliver this news. you can however, explain different paths and how you assess your student's ability to succeed on those paths. this can then serve as basis for the student's own decisions. the student will understand that is better to have an acceptable job lined up than being unemployed in search of the perfect opportunity. but the student may not yet understand their chances correctly. in your opinion, they are unlikely to succeed on the tenure track path, so it would be risky for them to pursue this path further – as evidenced by their difficulty in finding a postdoc. (and i'm assuming they already cast a wide net, instead of only looking at prestigious or local positions). you can be quite honest in your assessment that even if they were to grab a postdoc, you don't think they have the skills to progress further. but as an aside, working in academia doesn't have to involve tenure as the goal. in stem, it should be generally possible for a phd holder to successfully transition into industry, even without very strong writing, technical, or programming skills – the deficit in communication skill is probably more worrying though. the main hindrance seems to be the student's self-image as a researcher or future professor. a better image might be something like “highly qualified professional”. it might already be helpful to reinforce that they do have career choices, that they don't have to go the postdoc route just because they did a phd. i.e. the lack of success on the postdoc market is not a career failure, it is a sign in a different career direction. but you're worried they'd be heading towards failure if they stay on that path. if you can pull some strings to get the funding, you can significantly soften the blow by offering a clear (financial) off-ramp to the student: a guarantee that they will be employed for a few months longer, with an understanding that they really need to churn out applications because you cannot (and will not) offer further support afterwards, and that those applications shouldn't go to positions in academia. the advantage of such an off-ramp is that it sets clear boundaries and expectations (their career problem isn't your problem).

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: research scientist is a legit academic career, but it is not tt. in the absence of a post-doc, they should be applying for these positions.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: there is a wide range of caliber of colleges. i’m not sure what level you are at now but are they so bad they couldn’t get a job at even the bottom of the barrel colleges? is it possible to recalibrate on what realistic level of university they could work at aka at the bottom? perhaps when they realize what their academia prospects are they will change course. i wasn’t prime academia material and had itty bitty colleges invite me to recruitment days and positions for post docs. my roommate had a post doc position basically guaranteed the moment she inquired about it (sounds crazy but it actually paid less than our phd and was at a teeny college ) in some ways getting an industry job can be harder. while my research advisor networks and advocates any time a phd student goes to academia or national lab when it comes to industry job hunting students were on their own.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: there is a wide range of caliber of colleges. i’m not sure what level you are at now but are they so bad they couldn’t get a job at even the bottom of the barrel colleges? is it possible to recalibrate on what realistic level of university they could work at aka at the bottom? perhaps when they realize what their academia prospects are they will change course. i wasn’t prime academia material and had itty bitty colleges invite me to recruitment days and positions for post docs. my roommate had a post doc position basically guaranteed the moment she inquired about it (sounds crazy but it actually paid less than our phd and was at a teeny college ) in some ways getting an industry job can be harder. while my research advisor networks and advocates any time a phd student goes to academia or national lab when it comes to industry job hunting students were on their own.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: i’ve had this tenor of conversations with trainees in the past. they are never easy, and never pleasant. i felt responsible for their lack of progress, as i suspect you do in this case. don’t. they aren’t children. you tried, they tried, you gave feedback, you gave time and opportunity. they have different strengths to the ones that may be most useful in academia. they have to figure that out. here’s the thing: sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear that yet. you feel a duty to tell them, but the world is telling them already. and will continue to. given that, it may be easiest to disguise this as a debrief of their postdoc applications. if you want to help, you will have to lead them down alternate paths slowly. make it very clear that they have x months left, and impress on them over and over how long it takes to get through the hiring process. perhaps suggest they should go with a non-academic position for a couple of years until the postdoc market opens up a little more. it’s a white lie that may help ease them onto another path. support, advise and guide. but it’s not yours to solve this problem for them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: instead of telling them they are "deficient in these skills" a better way to start is telling them their talents fit better in this "field" and this "field". tell them that academia is very competitive, and they might be limiting themselves, especially after they got rejected. so if you want to be helpful do a little research about where they could fit. i think telling someone they won't "cut it" it's dangerous, because you never know.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: my former pi used to have those conversations with phd students just by saying that she did not had funding to support them for a postdoc so they should look for another job.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: well, if you want to do this gently, don't dumb all this down in a single speech. first, tell them about super competitive academic job field, strongly urge them to cast a wider net. perhaps it is a good idea to put them in contact with people who already hold jobs in industry and learn about their experiences. the idea is they would want an industry job organically, rather than something that they have to. however, if they still persists on following an academic path, then it might be the time to tell them the part about their shortcomings. as others have mentioned, be sure to give them the postive feedback that you wrote (hard worker, enthusiactic) with the negative to soften the blow.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: you could always encourage the student to apply for all types of jobs and let the chips fall where they do. as long as the student applies to a variety of jobs i see no harm in them also applying to more post docs and academic positions. just my two cents 😊

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: itt: anxious grad students looking through op's post history to see if it's them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: a quantum leap would typically be exceptionally small, so they probably need more than that. seriously though, as a finishing phd student i'm pretty glad my advisor has been straightforward: nobody, absolutely no one, has good chances of landing tt. and if you're not the very best of the field, don't even dream about it. now, many people do postdocs before going for industry. if p wants to do a bit more research, i generally see no problem with continuing to apply for postdocs. but you implied p has only applied to top-level institutions, why not suggest for them to apply to a wider array of positions? but also, yeah, definitely mention going private to them. only a maniac actually expects a tt these days.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: i think you lay out the options. your funding is coming to an end here and you didn't land a post-doc. let's brainstorm about what you can do. this can include everything from less competitive colleges to industry to government work to research adjacent careers (technical sales, regulatory oversight, etc.). there is nothing to say that the person cannot get a job and apply for post-docs next year, but emphasize you don't have the funding for them to stay in your lab for another year. this can turn the conversation from here are all of your problems to here are your choices as it stands now.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: i’ve had this tenor of conversations with trainees in the past. they are never easy, and never pleasant. i felt responsible for their lack of progress, as i suspect you do in this case. don’t. they aren’t children. you tried, they tried, you gave feedback, you gave time and opportunity. they have different strengths to the ones that may be most useful in academia. they have to figure that out. here’s the thing: sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear that yet. you feel a duty to tell them, but the world is telling them already. and will continue to. given that, it may be easiest to disguise this as a debrief of their postdoc applications. if you want to help, you will have to lead them down alternate paths slowly. make it very clear that they have x months left, and impress on them over and over how long it takes to get through the hiring process. perhaps suggest they should go with a non-academic position for a couple of years until the postdoc market opens up a little more. it’s a white lie that may help ease them onto another path. support, advise and guide. but it’s not yours to solve this problem for them.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: i think you lay out the options. your funding is coming to an end here and you didn't land a post-doc. let's brainstorm about what you can do. this can include everything from less competitive colleges to industry to government work to research adjacent careers (technical sales, regulatory oversight, etc.). there is nothing to say that the person cannot get a job and apply for post-docs next year, but emphasize you don't have the funding for them to stay in your lab for another year. this can turn the conversation from here are all of your problems to here are your choices as it stands now.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: my former pi used to have those conversations with phd students just by saying that she did not had funding to support them for a postdoc so they should look for another job.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: i think you lay out the options. your funding is coming to an end here and you didn't land a post-doc. let's brainstorm about what you can do. this can include everything from less competitive colleges to industry to government work to research adjacent careers (technical sales, regulatory oversight, etc.). there is nothing to say that the person cannot get a job and apply for post-docs next year, but emphasize you don't have the funding for them to stay in your lab for another year. this can turn the conversation from here are all of your problems to here are your choices as it stands now.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: well, if you want to do this gently, don't dumb all this down in a single speech. first, tell them about super competitive academic job field, strongly urge them to cast a wider net. perhaps it is a good idea to put them in contact with people who already hold jobs in industry and learn about their experiences. the idea is they would want an industry job organically, rather than something that they have to. however, if they still persists on following an academic path, then it might be the time to tell them the part about their shortcomings. as others have mentioned, be sure to give them the postive feedback that you wrote (hard worker, enthusiactic) with the negative to soften the blow.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: > the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. let's be honest, that doesn't really bode well for industry jobs either. i agree with the other posters that you should have the difficult conversation.

user: how to tell a struggling phd student who wants to stay in academia that it's time to look for other jobs? i have a phd student who is finishing this year who ended this job round with no postdoc offers. it's not completely surprising, unfortunately. the student, let's call them p, has had 4 years to improve on things like writing, communication, technical skills, and programming but has fallen short on all of them for where they need to be to be competitive for postdocs. that being said, p is a hard worker, super enthusiastic about research, and has been a good member of my group. p has gotten some interviews, but often gives extremely technical talks with no introduction (despite many rounds of feedback on this from me and others) and has tripped up when asked about the deep details of their work. unfortunately, i see almost no way of them making it through the whole tenure track (postdoc, postdoc, faculty, building a group) without a quantum leap in their skills, even if there was an offer this year. p is understandably very upset about not getting any offers but continues to say that all they want is a career as a researcher and to stay in academia. this doesn't seem realistic and i want to start gently steering them towards the idea of looking for opportunities in industry or policy, especially since their phd funding runs out later this year. but i'm not at all sure how to have this conversation without dashing their dreams. they're really eager and dead-set on this line of work, but i just don't see a path. any advice for how to steer this conversation and offer constructive suggestions? i feel terrible that i have to deliver this news, and i've never done it before. bot: well, if you want to do this gently, don't dumb all this down in a single speech. first, tell them about super competitive academic job field, strongly urge them to cast a wider net. perhaps it is a good idea to put them in contact with people who already hold jobs in industry and learn about their experiences. the idea is they would want an industry job organically, rather than something that they have to. however, if they still persists on following an academic path, then it might be the time to tell them the part about their shortcomings. as others have mentioned, be sure to give them the postive feedback that you wrote (hard worker, enthusiactic) with the negative to soften the blow.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: 1. get it properly diagnosed 2. tell your advisor 3. screw grad school, do all available treatments. are you insane? your life is more important than finishing some research

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: don't wait until you're too sick to get out of bed. i've been getting sicker for months (still trying to figure out why), and i've now hit that point. trying to deal with logistics of medical leave/administration is a nightmare when you barely have the energy to move.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: 1. get it properly diagnosed 2. tell your advisor 3. screw grad school, do all available treatments. are you insane? your life is more important than finishing some research

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i'm so sorry, i can't imagine how stressful it must be for you right now. hope it turns out to be something benign. if your advisor is a decent human being, i'm sure she'll be supportive of you no matter what you do and decide in this difficult situation. sending lots of good thoughts.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: 1. get it properly diagnosed 2. tell your advisor 3. screw grad school, do all available treatments. are you insane? your life is more important than finishing some research

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i would encourage you to look into your institutions resources for students with disabilities. best wishes!

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: 1. get it properly diagnosed 2. tell your advisor 3. screw grad school, do all available treatments. are you insane? your life is more important than finishing some research

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i had a lymphoma scare recently and my postdoc advisor was very supportive. hopefully yours will be the same. check out support groups too. i was surprised that many lymphoma patients continued to work/stay in school during treatment with only a few weeks off during the worst parts.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i'm so sorry you're dealing with this and hope for the best for you. if you need accommodations you should at least tell your pi you're dealing with some health issues and will know more soon. once you have a definitive diagnosis you should tell your pi. >in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed unfortunately, this may come sooner than you think. if it is osteosarcoma most likely you will be scheduled for surgery pretty quickly and then will need chemo. major surgery and chemo will knock you totally off your ass. i know this is all a hard and bitter pill to swallow, but you are probably going to need to focus entirely on your recovery as soon as you have a diagnosis. if i recall correctly, osteosarcoma has a very high rate of survival with treatment so the good news is that you will probably be fine. but working during is probably not going to be doable, thus why you need to talk to your pi and see how they can accommodate you (maybe a research assistant can carry on your work, etc). best wishes and good luck op.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i'm so sorry, i can't imagine how stressful it must be for you right now. hope it turns out to be something benign. if your advisor is a decent human being, i'm sure she'll be supportive of you no matter what you do and decide in this difficult situation. sending lots of good thoughts.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma in my late teens. i had just been accepted to a college i was excited to go to when i got the diagnoses. my mistake was to move from home and support for a college in a town i’d never lived. i had to drop out midway thru the first term. i ended up having to rely on a gaggle of semi-friends (i.e. other students) to get me to and from appointments, the er when i spiked a temp in the middle of the night, the cancer ward for chemo, etc. it was *not* ideal. i finally moved back home after that and spent a lot of time healing. you will **need** a support network if you get this diagnosis. if you get this horrible diagnosis, you’re life will forever change. stoicism and bravery will not be enough to combat the new reality of your life filled with chemo, blood treatments, follow ups, hospitalizations, etc. if you have any plan of living through it, you will need the grace in time and understanding to prioritize your health. research should be deprioritized. you should really consider taking a medical leave of absence. find friends and family who can help be your advocate when you’re too weak to do it yourself. establish your care network. do this *before* you start chemotherapy: i can’t describe what that shit does to you physically *and* mentally. you can’t do this by yourself. i’m so so sorry you might have to battle this monster. i truly hope you get good news and it’s benign. i agree with those saying that telling your advisor can wait until after you get an actually confirmed diagnosis. i’d say you have some personal medical issues to deal with to explain your spotty availability during appointments; your advisor should respect your medical privacy.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i'm so sorry, i can't imagine how stressful it must be for you right now. hope it turns out to be something benign. if your advisor is a decent human being, i'm sure she'll be supportive of you no matter what you do and decide in this difficult situation. sending lots of good thoughts.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma in my late teens. i had just been accepted to a college i was excited to go to when i got the diagnoses. my mistake was to move from home and support for a college in a town i’d never lived. i had to drop out midway thru the first term. i ended up having to rely on a gaggle of semi-friends (i.e. other students) to get me to and from appointments, the er when i spiked a temp in the middle of the night, the cancer ward for chemo, etc. it was *not* ideal. i finally moved back home after that and spent a lot of time healing. you will **need** a support network if you get this diagnosis. if you get this horrible diagnosis, you’re life will forever change. stoicism and bravery will not be enough to combat the new reality of your life filled with chemo, blood treatments, follow ups, hospitalizations, etc. if you have any plan of living through it, you will need the grace in time and understanding to prioritize your health. research should be deprioritized. you should really consider taking a medical leave of absence. find friends and family who can help be your advocate when you’re too weak to do it yourself. establish your care network. do this *before* you start chemotherapy: i can’t describe what that shit does to you physically *and* mentally. you can’t do this by yourself. i’m so so sorry you might have to battle this monster. i truly hope you get good news and it’s benign. i agree with those saying that telling your advisor can wait until after you get an actually confirmed diagnosis. i’d say you have some personal medical issues to deal with to explain your spotty availability during appointments; your advisor should respect your medical privacy.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i would encourage you to look into your institutions resources for students with disabilities. best wishes!

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i was diagnosed with an osteosarcoma in my late teens. i had just been accepted to a college i was excited to go to when i got the diagnoses. my mistake was to move from home and support for a college in a town i’d never lived. i had to drop out midway thru the first term. i ended up having to rely on a gaggle of semi-friends (i.e. other students) to get me to and from appointments, the er when i spiked a temp in the middle of the night, the cancer ward for chemo, etc. it was *not* ideal. i finally moved back home after that and spent a lot of time healing. you will **need** a support network if you get this diagnosis. if you get this horrible diagnosis, you’re life will forever change. stoicism and bravery will not be enough to combat the new reality of your life filled with chemo, blood treatments, follow ups, hospitalizations, etc. if you have any plan of living through it, you will need the grace in time and understanding to prioritize your health. research should be deprioritized. you should really consider taking a medical leave of absence. find friends and family who can help be your advocate when you’re too weak to do it yourself. establish your care network. do this *before* you start chemotherapy: i can’t describe what that shit does to you physically *and* mentally. you can’t do this by yourself. i’m so so sorry you might have to battle this monster. i truly hope you get good news and it’s benign. i agree with those saying that telling your advisor can wait until after you get an actually confirmed diagnosis. i’d say you have some personal medical issues to deal with to explain your spotty availability during appointments; your advisor should respect your medical privacy.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i had a lymphoma scare recently and my postdoc advisor was very supportive. hopefully yours will be the same. check out support groups too. i was surprised that many lymphoma patients continued to work/stay in school during treatment with only a few weeks off during the worst parts.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: i am so sorry you are going through this. when i was a month away from defending my dissertation, i was diagnosed with breast cancer. i shared the news with my advisor, who told me she was also a bc survivor. i received so much unconditional support from her and the rest of my committee, along with all the support staff in the department. i was able to defend my dissertation, and one week later had surgery to remove the tumor and began chemo. i graduated on time that may and i honestly think i couldn’t have done it without the incredible support i received from everyone in my program. my circumstances may have been unique to this wonderful group of human beings, but i think the psychological and physical toll you may have to go through will be too overwhelming to keep secret and you may want to reconsider.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: yes, tell her. even if you're not diagnosed with it, it's understandable that you're facing a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. as long as she's human, she'll be supportive.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: if you are in the u.s., it is horrible to say but make sure that you know what any change in school status will do for your health insurance; don’t just take any random administrators word for it; and fight like hell to find an accommodation where you are able to remain on the school health insurance unless you have a definite 2nd option.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: first, i am so sorry that you are dealing with this. i hope that the diagnosis is not confirmed. second, as an advisor, i would very much like to know what you are going through, if you are comfortable enough to share, as i would want to be supportive and help plan around how you are doing. i think it would be unlikely that your advisor would push you to stay home, but may mention it as an option out of concern that that is what you want to do. as a graduate student, i told my advisor when i had to undergo medical testing so that he didn't think i was being flaky and just disappearing or slowing down in work. sharing that info with him reduced my stress, as i felt less guilty and less worried about work. best of luck to you.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: if you are in the u.s., it is horrible to say but make sure that you know what any change in school status will do for your health insurance; don’t just take any random administrators word for it; and fight like hell to find an accommodation where you are able to remain on the school health insurance unless you have a definite 2nd option.

user: bad news hey everyone i went to the dr a few days ago and she found a mass on my humerus. she was reluctant to officially diagnose but it seems that it is osteosarcoma. i was wondering if this is something i should tell my grad advisor. i’m hesitant because i’m afraid she might tell me to quit to be with my family. in all honesty i want to keep going until it gets bad enough i can’t leave my bed. the reason i’m inclined to telling here is because i might be spotty quite a few days because of imaging testing and who knows ,maybe even bone autopsies. bot: yes, tell her. even if you're not diagnosed with it, it's understandable that you're facing a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. as long as she's human, she'll be supportive.

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: > how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done) can confirm, had one of these bitches explode in a course. not only half of the vial was gone but our sample as well. mine is probably reading monkey body language and face gestures. i am so used to communicate with them that i once started to lip smack at a (human) baby because it's a soothing gesture. thankfully nobody saw that (besides the baby, who was unimpressed).

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can give fish tattoos with insulin syringes. i needed to track individuals in a tank to calculate growth rates and they were too small to tag with other methods.

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can use tweezers as a smaller extension of my own hand

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can do dotted lines on a chalk board in a quick stroke as in this video: https://youtu.be/mc-grmw9yvk

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can carry a lot of stuff kind of safely at once and open doors with feet, hips and elbows. i have also developed pretty heat resistant fingers compared to my friends. not sure what these qualities are useful for, but at least i can cut bread right out of the oven!

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: is disenchantment a skill?

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: weighting things by eye. you'd be surprised by how often i get exactly 4.84 mg of material (or other similar silly numbers) at my first try, i scare myself sometimes lol

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i study bird song diversity across different habitats and now have the curse of knowing when bird songs in movies and games are ecologically inaccurate...

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i know how to make a dental mold that's attached to a syringe to squirm barium into your pharynx. phd is communication sciences and disorders-- swallowing physiology

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i, someone who has never smoked weed and am sober-curious, am an excellent cannabis trimmer. stumbled into a masters project in cannabis cultivation right out of undergrad and didnt blink at the prospect of growing a shit ton of weed for science.

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i can do dotted lines on a chalk board in a quick stroke as in this video: https://youtu.be/mc-grmw9yvk

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i, someone who has never smoked weed and am sober-curious, am an excellent cannabis trimmer. stumbled into a masters project in cannabis cultivation right out of undergrad and didnt blink at the prospect of growing a shit ton of weed for science.

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: is disenchantment a skill?

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: coding in fortran. (not that fortran is obscure *per se* by any means, but the most common reaction i get from people both in and outside of my field is, "why is anyone still coding in that?!")

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: is disenchantment a skill?

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: measuring mosquito dicks to tell the difference between two species.

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i know how to make a dental mold that's attached to a syringe to squirm barium into your pharynx. phd is communication sciences and disorders-- swallowing physiology

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i'm in political science and all i've managed to learn how to do is fake competency while basically having no idea what i'm doing. ☝️

user: what obscure skill have you picked up as a grad student/academic? i'm doing a biology phd, and know exactly how to empty a mortar of powdered plant material suspended in liquid nitrogen into a tiny vial without it exploding (easier said than done), an obscure "skill" i've picked up doing hundreds of dna extractions. purely our of curiousity, what's your obscure skill? bot: i know how to make a dental mold that's attached to a syringe to squirm barium into your pharynx. phd is communication sciences and disorders-- swallowing physiology