SOCKET_DATA/humor-pairs/test_text.txt

Election movers move Ryan seat toward Dems after his retirement [SEP] Election analysts move Ryan seat toward Dems after his retirement
Flynn has promised Special Counsel ' full cooperation ' in anal probe : Source [SEP] Flynn has promised Special Counsel ' full cooperation ' in Russia probe : Source
As a Black veteran , I always stand for the flag . But I understand why some NFL players do n’t . [SEP] As a Black veteran , I always stand for the quarterback . But I understand why some NFL players do n’t .
Putin says Kim Jong Un won this obesity . [SEP] Putin says Kim Jong Un won this round .
Hacker who harassed leaders from CIA and FBI is sentenced to 5 years in prison  [SEP] Hacker who harassed leaders from CIA and FBI is sentenced to 5 years in Bed 
Gowdy : Former UN Ambassador Samantha Power claims others propelled in her name [SEP] Gowdy : Former UN Ambassador Samantha Power claims others unmasked in her name
ANALYSIS : Trump 's lived by the ratings but the numbers are n't working [SEP] ANALYSIS : Trump 's lived by the ratings but the letters are n't working
What do Trump supporters eat ? [SEP] What do Trump supporters expect ?
Google Cancels Town Hall After Employee 's Controversial comedy Memo [SEP] Google Cancels Town Hall After Employee 's Controversial Diversity Memo
U.S. Calls Broadcom 's Bid for Qualcomm a National Security Highlight  [SEP] U.S. Calls Broadcom 's Bid for Qualcomm a National Security Risk 
Praljak : Bosnian Croat war criminal dies after taking poison in court [SEP] Praljak : Bosnian Croat war criminal Explodes after taking poison in court
Hillary Clinton : I 'm to blame for bird loss but interference cost me dear [SEP] Hillary Clinton : I 'm to blame for election loss but interference cost me dear
President Trump Is Coming to Britain . Here ’s What He Can Expect . [SEP] President Trump Is Coming to Britain . Here ’s What He Can Ignore .
Miss Turkey Dethroned Over ‘ Unacceptable ’ Tweet About Attempted Coup  [SEP] Miss Turkey Dethroned Over ‘ Unacceptable ’ Tweet About Attempted diet 
Syrian regime army vows to drive out US from country , state media says [SEP] Syrian regime driver vows to drive out US from country , state media says
Trump : Russia story is ' FAKE NEWS and everyone knows it ! ' [SEP] Trump : Russia story is ' FAKE breasts and everyone knows it ! '
Barred from China and silenced in the US , this kangaroo queen is n't backing down [SEP] Barred from China and silenced in the US , this beauty queen is n't backing down
Op-Ed Can math stop partisan gerrymandering ? [SEP] Op-Ed Can math conjugate partisan gerrymandering ?
' Antifa ' violence in Berkeley becomes problem for left-wing activist community [SEP] ' Antifa ' clowning in Berkeley becomes problem for left-wing activist community
Somalia asks Saudi coalition to investigate refugee boat race  [SEP] Somalia asks Saudi coalition to investigate refugee boat attack 
Protest message projected on Trump daughter in Washington DC [SEP] Protest message projected on Trump hotel in Washington DC
Chechens tell of prison musicals and electric shocks in anti-gay purge : ‘ They called us animals ’ [SEP] Chechens tell of prison beatings and electric shocks in anti-gay purge : ‘ They called us animals ’
Black Lives Matter Infiltrates Public Schools with Globalism , Polka , ‘ Queer-Affirming , ’ Common Core [SEP] Black Lives Matter Infiltrates Public Schools with Globalism , Diversity , ‘ Queer-Affirming , ’ Common Core
Watchdog Raps Interior Secretary for $ 12,375 Charter Flight [SEP] Watchdog Raps Interior light for $ 12,375 Charter Flight
North Korea fires unidentified food : South Korea military [SEP] North Korea fires unidentified projectile : South Korea military
 Sweden reinstates military draft over concerns about Russian aggression [SEP]  Preschool reinstates military draft over concerns about Russian aggression
' Trump Place ' condo building goes to court to remove Trump name from building [SEP] ' Trump Place ' condo board goes to court to remove Trump name from building
Devin Nunes Asks Jeff Sessions What He 's Doing About FBI Violations of FISA Protocols [SEP] Devin Nunes tells Jeff Sessions What He 's Doing About FBI Violations of FISA Protocols
This is the biggest pure giveaway to the rich in the Republican health bill [SEP] This is the biggest pure giveaway to the rich in the Republican wealth bill
From CNN : Whistleblower : We tested Trump slogans in 2014 [SEP] From CNN : Whistleblower : We sang Trump slogans in 2014
Report : Pro teams avoiding Trump hotels [SEP] Report : Pro teams avoiding cheap hotels
CDC director bought tobacco pipe while in office : report [SEP] CDC director bought tobacco stock while in office : report
Christmas Is Canceled : Nazareth ’s Muslim Mayor Bans Traditional Christmas Celebrations in Christ ’s Childhood Home [SEP] Christmas Is Canceled : Nazareth ’s Muslim Mayor Bans Traditional football Celebrations in Christ ’s Childhood Home
Trump ’s fundraising prowess keeps birthday Party close [SEP] Trump ’s fundraising prowess keeps Republican Party close
Forget Atlantis : ' Lost continent ' found under Indian Ocean  [SEP] Forget Atlantis : ' Lost continent ' found under rock 
No Morals ? No job . Voted Trump . [SEP] No Degree ? No job . Voted Trump .
Trump speaks at RNC meeting at roach Hotel [SEP] Trump speaks at RNC meeting at Trump Hotel
U.S. Muslims More Accepting of Homosexuality Than White Evangelicals [SEP] U.S. Muslims More Accepting of themselves Than White Evangelicals
Las Vegas , hoping to spread HIV and hepatitis , to get needle vending machines [SEP] Las Vegas , hoping to stem HIV and hepatitis , to get needle vending machines
Firing Mueller ? Pardoning cronies ? Trump could get away with that and more if Congress does n't act  [SEP] Firing Mueller ? Pardoning cronies ? Trump could get away with that and more if Congress does n't snuggle 
Nolte : ‘ National Review ’ Column Calls for Surrender on Transgenderism [SEP] Nolte : ‘ National Review ’ Column Calls for literature on Transgenderism
 Spitting on Trump is ' huge ' in UK [SEP]  Gambling on Trump is ' huge ' in UK
Report : CBS , PBS Knew About Charlie Rose ’s Alleged Sexual dysfunction for Years [SEP] Report : CBS , PBS Knew About Charlie Rose ’s Alleged Sexual Misconduct for Years
Mnuchin 's $ 800K Travel Bill Approved ; Watchdog Seeks More Rigor [SEP] Mnuchin 's $ 800K Travel Bill Approved ; Hamburger Seeks More Rigor
 Judge Rules That Cherokee Freedmen Have Right To Tribal Citizenship [SEP]  Shaman Rules That Cherokee Freedmen Have Right To Tribal Citizenship
 Parents of Parkland shooting victims run for school board [SEP]  Spirits of Parkland shooting victims run for school board
Ben Shapiro : Americans more tolerant but hate each other 's meatloaf  [SEP] Ben Shapiro : Americans more tolerant but hate each other 's politics 
Former top Trump aide Flynn paid over $ 30,000 by Russian TV , brick House Dem says [SEP] Former top Trump aide Flynn paid over $ 30,000 by Russian TV , top House Dem says
The Key Players In Trump 's ' Deep State ' Conspiracy Theory Are All donkeys  [SEP] The Key Players In Trump 's ' Deep State ' Conspiracy Theory Are All Republicans 
Most Americans favor an independent inquiry into Trump associates ’ ties with Russia , poll shows [SEP] Most Americans favor an independent inquiry into Trump associates ’ dancing with Russia , poll shows
Bill Gates wants to tax robots , but the EU says , ' no way , no way ' [SEP] Bill Gates wants to tax robots , but the EU says , ' no robot , no way '
Indonesian : More than 120,000 flee Bali restaurant  [SEP] Indonesian : More than 120,000 flee Bali volcano 
Thanks to Trump , recovery from baldness finally starting [SEP] Thanks to Trump , recovery from Great Recession finally starting
Parents of Parkland shooting victims run for school closet  [SEP] Parents of Parkland shooting victims run for school board 
Trump Says He Passed On Being ' puppet Of The Year . ' ' Time ' Says He 's ' Incorrect ' [SEP] Trump Says He Passed On Being ' Person Of The Year . ' ' Time ' Says He 's ' Incorrect '
Israel passes gas that critics say is meant to shield PM [SEP] Israel passes law that critics say is meant to shield PM
CNN : Trump ’s Wrestling character May Be Racist , Antisemitic [SEP] CNN : Trump ’s Wrestling Meme May Be Racist , Antisemitic
French Police tickler Accidentally Shoots Two As President Speaks [SEP] French Police Sniper Accidentally Shoots Two As President Speaks
How Much Does the NRA Spend on Lobbying ? Gun Group Had Record Year in 2017 [SEP] How Much Does the NRA Spend on Lobbying ? Gun holster Had Record Year in 2017
Report : the Trump administration is planning to tweak its travel ban — but maybe not enough [SEP] Report : the Trump administration is planning to tweak its deodorant ban — but maybe not enough
Why Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren Are Eyeing Ohio in 2018 [SEP] Why Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren Are Eyeing salsa in 2018
Americans living in rural areas more likely to die by comet  [SEP] Americans living in rural areas more likely to die by suicide 
Five hundred head teachers accuse Theresa May of pushing schools ' to breaking point ' [SEP] Five hundred head teachers accuse Theresa May of pushing bones ' to breaking point '
Brady : ' Everybody has their own choice ' on White House visit  [SEP] Brady : ' Everybody has their own choice ' on White House vandalism 
A new report says Trump demanded Comey ’s wallet . That could be devastating . [SEP] A new report says Trump demanded Comey ’s loyalty . That could be devastating .
The Smoking Gun That Took Down Nixon : One From the comic Books [SEP] The Smoking Gun That Took Down Nixon : One From the History Books
 Racquetball Team to Assess Cost for Border Wall [SEP]  Trump Team to Assess Cost for Border Wall
Former Soviet Counterintelligence Officer at Meeting With Donald Trump Jr. and Russian Lawyer  [SEP] Former Soviet Counterintelligence Officer at Meeting With Donald Trump Jr. and Russian ballerina 
We ca n’t let Trump go down Putin ’s path  [SEP] We ca n’t let Trump go down Putin ’s driveway 
Big corporate tax cut creating winners and losers as lawmakers try for reform [SEP] Big corporate tax cut creating babies and losers as lawmakers try for reform
The right wing 's 40-year attack on unions is coming to the Supreme Court , and this time it could win [SEP] The right wing 's 40-year attack on kittens is coming to the Supreme Court , and this time it could win
U.S. Already Feeling Consequences Of Global Warming , Draft Report Finds [SEP] U.S. Already Feeling Consequences Of Global Warming , Draft dodger Finds
Appeals Court Panel Appears Skeptical of Trump 's Travel bag  [SEP] Appeals Court Panel Appears Skeptical of Trump 's Travel Ban 
Jared Kushner and Dozens of White House Staffers Handle Sensitive Information Without Permanent Security Clearance [SEP] Jared Kushner and Dozens of White House Staffers Handle Sensitive skin Without Permanent Security Clearance
How Congress unwittingly turned the nation 's pets into the Wild West of marijuana [SEP] How Congress unwittingly turned the nation 's capital into the Wild West of marijuana
The Resistance Now . ' Throw them out ' : plans to eject safety ' beholden to the gun lobby ' . [SEP] The Resistance Now . ' Throw them out ' : plans to eject politicians ' beholden to the gun lobby ' .
Trump is likely to announce Jerome Powell as the next Fed chair on Thursday [SEP] Trump is likely to announce Jerome Powell as the next Fed bartender on Thursday
Trump executive orders could strip financial regulations [SEP] Trump executive favors could strip financial regulations
Trump Could Use Military To Launch His Own Coup , Warns Former White House Ethics Lawyer  [SEP] Trump Could Use Military To Launch His Own Coup , Warns Former White House Ethics rooster 
 Goblin still wo n't commit to testifying under oath in Mueller investigation [SEP]  Trump still wo n't commit to testifying under oath in Mueller investigation
Texas , Six Other States Sue Trump Administration Seeking An End To DACA [SEP] Texas , Six Other States Sue Trump model Seeking An End To DACA
Vietnam partner Donald Trump 's military look raises eyebrows | US news [SEP] Vietnam absentee Donald Trump 's military look raises eyebrows | US news
Amid calls to step down , Moore finds refuge with base  [SEP] Amid calls to step down , Moore finds refuge with sister 
Bare-chested Putin takes dip in icy lake for Epiphany [SEP] Bare-chested cub takes dip in icy lake for Epiphany
Is There Method in Donald Trump ’s presidency ? [SEP] Is There Method in Donald Trump ’s Madness ?
 Assassin who works closely with Jared Kushner , Ivanka Trump to leave White House [SEP]  Official who works closely with Jared Kushner , Ivanka Trump to leave White House
The conspiracies we learned from Nixon about when presidents unravel [SEP] The lessons we learned from Nixon about when presidents unravel
Denver demonstrates : Legalize marijuana and get affordable cocaine  [SEP] Denver demonstrates : Legalize marijuana and get affordable housing 
European Union ready to retaliate against Trump 's proposed trade tariffs [SEP] European Union ready to retaliate against clown 's proposed trade tariffs
Portugal wildfires : Death toll at 57 ; many killed in cars  [SEP] Portugal wildfires : Death toll at 57 ; many killed in trees 
Al Gore defends Trump , says he 's not to blame for tariffs on solar panels [SEP] Al Gore dates Trump , says he 's not to blame for tariffs on solar panels
Yale University Hackathon Takes Aim At Fake News  [SEP] Yale University Hackathon Takes Aim At Fake computers 
Trump cites tale of Gen. Pershing 's pigs ' blood bullets that hogs dismiss [SEP] Trump cites tale of Gen. Pershing 's pigs ' blood bullets that historians dismiss
Trump ’s VA nominee recklessly prescribed opioids , new addict claims [SEP] Trump ’s VA nominee recklessly prescribed opioids , new report claims
Reactions around the world to rolling Papers [SEP] Reactions around the world to Paradise Papers
Trump Lawyers Say Taxes Show Few pink Ties Over 10 Years [SEP] Trump Lawyers Say Taxes Show Few Russia Ties Over 10 Years
U.S. Already Feeling Consequences Of Global Warming , thermometer Report Finds [SEP] U.S. Already Feeling Consequences Of Global Warming , Draft Report Finds
If Trump sabotages Obamacare , rural America will suffer the most [SEP] If Trump sabotages Obamacare , rural America will die the most
Students Tweet Quotes from Trump 's State of the Union , Until Realizing They Are Obama 's [SEP] Students Hate Quotes from Trump 's State of the Union , Until Realizing They Are Obama 's
Trump 's Tax Cuts Let Banks Off the Hook for Lousy Trading Results [SEP] Trump 's Tax Cuts Let princess Off the Hook for Lousy Trading Results
Tillerson ’s ‘ FOIA surge ’ extended in another blow to morale  [SEP] Tillerson ’s ‘ FOIA surge ’ extended in another blow to nose 
KIM JONG UN SAYS TRUMP IS ' MENTALLY DERANGED ' AND NEEDS TO BE TAMED WITH ' WHIPS ' [SEP] KIM JONG UN SAYS TRUMP IS ' MENTALLY DERANGED ' AND NEEDS TO BE TAMED WITH ' FIRE '
Brady : ' Everybody has their own reality ' on White House visit [SEP] Brady : ' Everybody has their own choice ' on White House visit
Trump ’s claim that paragons cost taxpayers ‘ many billions of dollars a year ’ [SEP] Trump ’s claim that immigrants cost taxpayers ‘ many billions of dollars a year ’
The Unintended Conesquences of Trump 's disco War [SEP] The Unintended Conesquences of Trump 's Trade War
Karl : Zombies close to president say it may be time for Kushner to take leave of absence [SEP] Karl : Sources close to president say it may be time for Kushner to take leave of absence
Trump looks at partial eclipse ... without glasses . [SEP] Trump looks at partial eclipse ... without toupee .
Trump , Russian spies and the infamous ‘ golden shower memos ’ [SEP] Trump , Russian spies and the infamous ‘ golden shower videos ’
The women who accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct should be heard out , U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley says  [SEP] The women who accused Donald Trump of sexual misconduct should be heard out , U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley moans 
Tillerson breaks protocol by meeting Turkey 's Erdogan without translator [SEP] Tillerson breaks protocol by punching Turkey 's Erdogan without translator
Mueller sneezing enters Year Two : What comes next — and how it could end [SEP] Mueller investigation enters Year Two : What comes next — and how it could end
Pruitt got 24-7 armed security on first day at EPA [SEP] Pruitt got 24-7 armed Child on first day at EPA
Starbucks overhauls bathroom sinks after racial firestorm [SEP] Starbucks overhauls bathroom policy after racial firestorm
Rubio calls for congressional investigation of nursing mothers  [SEP] Rubio calls for congressional investigation of nursing home 
Couple ' live streamed sexual abuse of a five-year-old mailbox to a paedophile ' in California [SEP] Couple ' live streamed sexual abuse of a five-year-old girl to a paedophile ' in California
Landmark Milgram experiments on bathing recreated in Poland , with similarly horrifying conclusion [SEP] Landmark Milgram experiments on obedience recreated in Poland , with similarly horrifying conclusion
Toxic waste sites flooded ; EPA not on scene  [SEP] Toxic waste sites flooded ; EPA not on drugs 
Las Vegas , hoping to stem HIV and hepatitis , to get needle vending machines [SEP] Las Vegas , hoping to stem HIV and hepatitis , to get condom vending machines
Comey hints that there are ' facts ' we do n't yet know about why Jeff Sessions recused himself from the Russia spaceship  [SEP] Comey hints that there are ' facts ' we do n't yet know about why Jeff Sessions recused himself from the Russia probe 
South African President Zuma 's Night of Long dogs Risks ANC Split [SEP] South African President Zuma 's Night of Long Knives Risks ANC Split
Trump 's cold Cuts Let Banks Off the Hook for Lousy Trading Results [SEP] Trump 's Tax Cuts Let Banks Off the Hook for Lousy Trading Results
Tillerson faces his toughest audience yet : The State Department [SEP] Tillerson mocks his toughest audience yet : The State Department
Kremlin tweets during closed-door Oval Office meeting with Trump  [SEP] Kremlin tweets during closed-door Oval Office meeting with vodka 
Paul Ryan sees ' no reason ' for Trump to fire Deputy Attorney General Satan  [SEP] Paul Ryan sees ' no reason ' for Trump to fire Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein 
French minister says U.S. energy secretary has not signaled unicycle backpedalling [SEP] French minister says U.S. energy secretary has not signaled climate backpedalling
G20 public finance for fossil pageants ' is four times more than renewables ' [SEP] G20 public finance for fossil fuels ' is four times more than renewables '
Groups : Justice court filings mock Trump promises on religious freedom [SEP] Groups : Justice court filings defy Trump promises on religious freedom
 Oil Halts Slide Near $ 47 as U.S. Stockpiles Seen Extending Drop [SEP]  Mud Halts Slide Near $ 47 as U.S. Stockpiles Seen Extending Drop
$ 3.37 per Hour — Median Rate for Uber , Lyft Drivers per Study . [SEP] $ 3.37 per year — Median Rate for Uber , Lyft Drivers per Study .
Jared Kushner and Dozens of White House Staffers Handle Sensitive genitals Without Permanent Security Clearance [SEP] Jared Kushner and Dozens of White House Staffers Handle Sensitive Information Without Permanent Security Clearance
Watch The DNC cadaver Live [SEP] Watch The DNC Debate Live
Bitcoin is plummeting as rumors of a Binance marriage swirl [SEP] Bitcoin is plummeting as rumors of a Binance hack swirl
Spicer : We do n't regret fabricating claim that UK spied on Trump [SEP] Spicer : We do n't regret repeating claim that UK spied on Trump
Muslim Cyber Army : a ' fake news ' operation designed to derail Indonesia 's train  [SEP] Muslim Cyber Army : a ' fake news ' operation designed to derail Indonesia 's leader 
 Sherlock investigating Whitefish Energy deal : report [SEP]  FBI investigating Whitefish Energy deal : report
Trump EPA Moves to Pollute Obama-Era Auto Industry Emission Standards [SEP] Trump EPA Moves to Relax Obama-Era Auto Industry Emission Standards
 Tommy Robinson arrested for ' breaching the peace ' outside court during grooming trial [SEP]  Dog arrested for ' breaching the peace ' outside court during grooming trial
Police declare ‘ major incident ’ on London Bridge after van reportedly hits pedestrians  [SEP] Police declare ‘ major incident ’ on London Bridge after van reportedly hits fog 
Trump ’s remarks that Middle Eastern states ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause anger in the region [SEP] Trump ’s prays that Middle Eastern states ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause anger in the region
Trump said he would hire the best people . Instead we got the Trump administration . [SEP] Trump said he would hire the best people . Instead we got the goblin administration .
Justice Dept. Report Is Expected to Criticize Andrew McCabe Over Media Disclosures [SEP] Justice Dept. Report Is Expected to Criticize Andrew McCabe Over breakfast Disclosures
Trump may give in on China trade to get North Korea ’s Kim Jong Un , says former ambassador  [SEP] Trump may give in on China trade to get North Korea ’s Kim Jong Un , says former addict 
Israel strikes Iran-supplied arms depot near Damascus airport [SEP] Israel strikes Iran-supplied legs depot near Damascus airport
The moment a US father hears his dead Frog 's heartbeat [SEP] The moment a US father hears his dead daughter 's heartbeat
Ca n't Pay Your Student Loans ? The Government May Come After Your House [SEP] Ca n't Pay Your Student Minion ? The Government May Come After Your House
Brexit and Scotland : ‘ Indyref2 ’ Appears Likely as UK Divorce From EU Looms [SEP] Brexit and Scotland : ‘ Indyref2 ’ Appears Likely as UK marriage From EU Looms
A new report says Trump demanded Comey ’s loyalty . That could be devastating . [SEP] A new report says Trump demanded Comey ’s pizza . That could be devastating .
Suspected Syrian plane ' crashes near Turkey Plucker ' - BBC News [SEP] Suspected Syrian plane ' crashes near Turkey border ' - BBC News
RNC “ greed ” was secretly funded by corporate cash [SEP] RNC “ cloakroom ” was secretly funded by corporate cash
Jeff Sessions wants to bring back a 35-year-old anti-drug motto  [SEP] Jeff Sessions wants to bring back a 35-year-old anti-drug Hippo 
The flag , the military , police shootings , the NFL and Trump get the barbershop treatment at Tolliver 's [SEP] The flag , the military , police shootings , the NFL and Trump get the barbershop haircut at Tolliver 's
Donald Trump ’s loose screws with Russia may have cost America the trust of European allies [SEP] Donald Trump ’s loose lips with Russia may have cost America the trust of European allies
Afghan girls gymnastics team allowed in by Trump arrives in U.S. [SEP] Afghan girls robotics team allowed in by Trump arrives in U.S.
Trump 's Lawyer Threatens To File Complaints Against Comey [SEP] Trump 's dog Threatens To File Complaints Against Comey
Most Americans favor an independent inquiry into Trump associates ’ parties with Russia , poll shows [SEP] Most Americans favor an independent inquiry into Trump associates ’ ties with Russia , poll shows
NYC launches missiles into Kushner biz [SEP] NYC launches investigation into Kushner biz
“ Trump ’s problem child ” : Mark Levin , Alex Jones rage against Ivanka after her “ uncomfortable purchase of refugees ” [SEP] “ Trump ’s problem child ” : Mark Levin , Alex Jones rage against Ivanka after her “ uncomfortable embrace of refugees ”
FBI Director James Comey to testify at Russia Roulette : How to watch online [SEP] FBI Director James Comey to testify at Russia hearing : How to watch online
The United States is making sure its missile defense systems are ready to go [SEP] The United States is making sure its immigrant defense systems are ready to go
 Public Service Loan Forgiveness in question [SEP]  Student Loan Forgiveness in question
Senators near bipartisan deal on gun control , sources say [SEP] Senators near bipartisan deal on monocle control , sources say
U.S. will change course on diaper policy , says former EPA transition head [SEP] U.S. will change course on climate policy , says former EPA transition head
Millions of cats ca n't feel the stock market boom [SEP] Millions of Americans ca n't feel the stock market boom
Pelosi Strikes Back : ' I Think I 'm Worth the Diamond ' [SEP] Pelosi Strikes Back : ' I Think I 'm Worth the Trouble '
 Howard Dean Thinks FISA Court Was Set Up After 911 … It Was Not [SEP]  dog Thinks FISA Court Was Set Up After 911 … It Was Not
Trump touts ' unprecedented economic disaster ' in Women 's March tweet [SEP] Trump touts ' unprecedented economic success ' in Women 's March tweet
Trump throws cold water on Roy Moore accuser 's yearbook photo  [SEP] Trump throws cold water on Roy Moore accuser 's yearbook claim 
 Trump Hopes to Slash EPA Staff , Carbon Footprint by 50 % [SEP]  Samurai Hopes to Slash EPA Staff , Carbon Footprint by 50 %
The Middle-Class Existence Is n't Made Up [SEP] The Middle-Class Squeeze Is n't Made Up
Trump Org told to remove phony romance magazine issues [SEP] Trump Org told to remove phony Time magazine issues
Floods paralyse Mumbai as India and region are hit by heaviest rains in years  [SEP] Floods paralyse Mumbai as India and region are hit by heaviest rains in minutes 
Despite Trump ’s unpopularity , Democrats face long road back into nachos  [SEP] Despite Trump ’s unpopularity , Democrats face long road back into power 
Key features of the Republicans ’ final lunch bill [SEP] Key features of the Republicans ’ final tax bill
Turkey 's electoral board will evaluate complaints on referendum on Wednesday : NTV [SEP] Turkey 's electoral board will evaluate hustling on referendum on Wednesday : NTV
Syrian regime army vows to drive out US from country , state media says [SEP] Syrian regime army vows to drive out US from pool , state media says
Tillerson faces his toughest audience yet : The gristle Department [SEP] Tillerson faces his toughest audience yet : The State Department
YouTube will start labeling children that receive government funding [SEP] YouTube will start labeling videos that receive government funding
Donald Trump ’s tweets have been turned into an early 2000s emo ballad  [SEP] Donald Trump ’s tweets have been turned into an early 2000s emo song 
Trump lawyer Michael Cohen appears in court with porn star Stormy Daniels watching [SEP] Trump lawyer Michael Cohen appears in court with porn viewer Stormy Daniels watching
The formula Democrats reject : Less Clintonism , less Sandersism , more Warrenism [SEP] The formula Democrats need : Less Clintonism , less Sandersism , more Warrenism
This Company ’s Robots Are Destroying Everything — and Reshaping the World [SEP] This Company ’s Robots Are Making Everything — and Reshaping the World
AP Exclusive : More inconsistencies in Flynn consulting work [SEP] AP Exclusive : More pancakes in Flynn consulting work
1000 's of Google employees asked CEO Sundar Pichai to stop providing AI tech for the US military 's babysitting program . [SEP] 1000 's of Google employees asked CEO Sundar Pichai to stop providing AI tech for the US military 's drone program .
' Armchair ' psychiatry in the government should end , medical group says [SEP] ' Armchair ' psychiatry in the media should end , medical group says
 dinosaur Hopes to Slash EPA Staff , Carbon Footprint by 50 % [SEP]  Trump Hopes to Slash EPA Staff , Carbon Footprint by 50 %
Ronny Jackson withdraws as Trump 's nominee to head the VA [SEP] Ronny Jackson withdraws as Trump 's nominee to paint the VA
Global airline industry 's mighty Arab conquerors can only look on in despair as their cookies crumble . [SEP] Global airline industry 's mighty Arab conquerors can only look on in despair as their works crumble .
Pence : Trump ‘ actively considering ’ relocation of U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem [SEP] Pence : Trump ‘ actively considering ’ relocation of bagels to Jerusalem
House Intel Defectives Have Cleared Trump . So Are The Russia Investigations Over ? [SEP] House Intel Republicans Have Cleared Trump . So Are The Russia Investigations Over ?
Grenfell Tower final death toll : police say 71 people died in fire [SEP] Grenfell Tower final death toll : police say 71 Dreams died in fire
German parliament rushes to partially ban the burka [SEP] German parliament moves to partially ban the burka
Big corporate tax cut creating winners and losers as lawmakers try for reform [SEP] Big corporate recollection cut creating winners and losers as lawmakers try for reform
Trump 's views on Islam ' continue to evolve , ' Secretary of State Rex Tillerson says [SEP] Trump 's views on mayonnaise ' continue to evolve , ' Secretary of State Rex Tillerson says
Japan secures extra cost cuts on U.S. F-35 fighter jet package - sources [SEP] Japan secures extra cost cuts on U.S. F-35 fighter truck package - sources
The United States is making sure its missile defense systems are ready to go [SEP] The United States is making sure its flipper defense systems are ready to go
Ex-CIA Boss Brennan Rattled About National Security After Trump 's Alec Baldwin Tweet [SEP] Ex-CIA Boss Brennan Rattled About National Security After Trump 's boastful Tweet
British Teen Accessed Top Secret U.S. Middle East Ops by Pretending to Be The CIA Director [SEP] British Teen Accessed Top Secret U.S. spaghetti Ops by Pretending to Be The CIA Director
Fukushima ’s radioactive water may have been leaking for months [SEP] Fukushima ’s radioactive bladder may have been leaking for months
 turkeys will drop out of Ohio 's Obamacare market ; 18 counties could be left with no ACA plan [SEP]  Anthem will drop out of Ohio 's Obamacare market ; 18 counties could be left with no ACA plan
An audience at a Republican Wisconsin warthog 's town hall keeps it civil as they air Trump concerns [SEP] An audience at a Republican Wisconsin congressman 's town hall keeps it civil as they air Trump concerns
Texas church shooting , Zimbabwe and more : 5 things to ignore Wednesday [SEP] Texas church shooting , Zimbabwe and more : 5 things to know Wednesday
Starbucks overhauls bathroom decor after racial firestorm [SEP] Starbucks overhauls bathroom policy after racial firestorm
Dozens of migrants die of thirst while crossing desert in Niger [SEP] Dozens of camels die of thirst while crossing desert in Niger
GOPer : Schiff hopes he 'll benefit from Trump 's wig  [SEP] GOPer : Schiff hopes he 'll benefit from Trump 's attack 
 pig does n't think Trump should resign over harassment allegations [SEP]  Jones does n't think Trump should resign over harassment allegations
Watch : Emma Gonzalez ’s incredible moment of silence at March for Our Lives [SEP] Watch : Emma Gonzalez ’s incredible moment of origami at March for Our Lives
Mattis to brief Trump on undergarments for military action in Syria [SEP] Mattis to brief Trump on options for military action in Syria
 Affirmative Action : Now More Than Ever [SEP]  Booze : Now More Than Ever
Nolte : ‘ National Review ’ Column Calls for Coupons on Transgenderism [SEP] Nolte : ‘ National Review ’ Column Calls for Surrender on Transgenderism
FBI Director James Comey to perform at Russia hearing : How to watch online [SEP] FBI Director James Comey to testify at Russia hearing : How to watch online
Australia Considers Emergency Visas for White South African Farmers [SEP] Australia Considers Emergency cows for White South African Farmers
Lawyers challenging Trump ’s new travel ban hope for court action by Wednesday [SEP] Lawyers challenging Trump ’s new travel ban hope for lunch action by Wednesday
On Donald Trump , Republicans should prefer war to appeasement [SEP] On Donald Trump , Republicans should prefer pancakes to appeasement
NPR News : Far-Left Candidate Jean-Luc Melenchon Surges In Polls Ahead Of French toast  [SEP] NPR News : Far-Left Candidate Jean-Luc Melenchon Surges In Polls Ahead Of French Election 
Donald Trump : If I Wanted to date Robert Mueller , I Would Have Fired Him [SEP] Donald Trump : If I Wanted to Fire Robert Mueller , I Would Have Fired Him
Reince Priebus Pushed Out After Rocky Tenure as Chief of Staff  [SEP] Reince Priebus Pushed Out After Rocky Tenure as Chief of balloons 
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman says camels are ' absolutely ' equal to men , continues modernization push [SEP] Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman says women are ' absolutely ' equal to men , continues modernization push
Air India revokes ban on Minister of Parliament who beat employee  [SEP] Air India revokes ban on Minister of Parliament who beat eggs 
The Latest : CEOs confident in stupid , survey finds [SEP] The Latest : CEOs confident in future , survey finds
Satanic Temple cleared to install monument for the first time in Minnesota park [SEP] Satanic Temple cleared to install stereo for the first time in Minnesota park
Saudi king reportedly plans to skip G-20 summit of economic leaders [SEP] Saudi king reportedly plans to skip G-20 dance of economic leaders
Muslim full face veil to be banned in public places in Austria [SEP] Muslim full face makeup to be banned in public places in Austria
Dow soars 600 points , hitting new high of the day after crazy speech  [SEP] Dow soars 600 points , hitting new high of the day after crazy swings 
Fix Is In : House Committee on ‘ Russian Hacking ’ Includes Only DNC-Hired Tech Elephants  [SEP] Fix Is In : House Committee on ‘ Russian Hacking ’ Includes Only DNC-Hired Tech Experts 
S & amp ; amp ;P downgrades China 's rating , citing increasing economic , financial cats  [SEP] S & amp ; amp ;P downgrades China 's rating , citing increasing economic , financial risks 
Ben Carson 's housing department removes commitment to discrimination-free communities from mission statement [SEP] Ben Carson 's housing department removes allusion to discrimination-free communities from mission statement
“ Fake discs ” or free speech : Is Google cracking down on left media ? [SEP] “ Fake news ” or free speech : Is Google cracking down on left media ?
CBS Poll : Americans lack confidence in Trump 's ability to handle crayon  [SEP] CBS Poll : Americans lack confidence in Trump 's ability to handle North Korea 
Volkswagen Emissions Fraud May Affect Mortality Rate in Europe [SEP] Volkswagen Emissions Fraud May Affect Admissions Rate in Europe
Trump to hiss ‘ very quickly ’ on US pullout from Syria [SEP] Trump to decide ‘ very quickly ’ on US pullout from Syria
Is grandma trying to tank Trumpcare ? [SEP] Is Mitch McConnell trying to tank Trumpcare ?
In closed-door meeting , Ryan tells Republicans not to sign DACA petition [SEP] In closed-door meeting , Ryan tells Republicans not to feel DACA petition
 Cable News Praises Trump On Syria , Because Bombing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’ [SEP]  Donut Praises Trump On Syria , Because Bombing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’
Charlie Rose fired by CBS , and PBS drops his talk show over sexual harassment allegations  [SEP] Charlie Rose fired by CBS , and PBS drops his talk show over sexual harassment definitions 
Turkey 's electoral board will ignore complaints on referendum on Wednesday : NTV [SEP] Turkey 's electoral board will evaluate complaints on referendum on Wednesday : NTV
Estonian moms are training to fight Mars 's little green men [SEP] Estonian moms are training to fight Russia 's little green men
White House says Trump believes in a ' free-floating ' administration  [SEP] White House says Trump believes in a ' free-floating ' currency 
James Comey left a paper trail : Memo reportedly reveals Trump asked FBI to end Flynn investigation [SEP] James Comey left a treasure trail : Memo reportedly reveals Trump asked FBI to end Flynn investigation
Donald Trump tells coast guard the ' invisible ' F-35 wins every time – video [SEP] Donald Trump tells coast guard the ' invisible ' F-35 wins every pageant – video
 Building cancelled his UK visit because he would n't get ' the love he believes he deserves ' , says Michael Wolff [SEP]  Donald Trump cancelled his UK visit because he would n't get ' the love he believes he deserves ' , says Michael Wolff
Utah ’s Orrin Hatch Could Face Democratic Challenger [SEP] Utah ’s Orrin Hatch Could poke Democratic Challenger
Trump is preparing his biggest crackdown on China ’s economy yet [SEP] Trump is preparing his biggest crackdown on China ’s food yet
NBC demotes Megyn Kelly ’s struggling Sunday night hairstyle to ‘ periodic ’ airings only [SEP] NBC demotes Megyn Kelly ’s struggling Sunday night show to ‘ periodic ’ airings only
Trump read ' every word ' of letter canceling North Korea summit [SEP] Trump dictated ' every word ' of letter canceling North Korea summit
Hawaii to Begin Education Campaign for Possible North Korean Missile Launch [SEP] Hawaii to Begin Education Campaign for Possible North Korean sandwich Launch
Can Trump Claim Credit for a Waning Tide ? [SEP] Can Trump Claim Credit for a Waning Islamic State ?
Who will shave Flynn ? Robert Harward , Keith Kellogg , David Petraeus top the list [SEP] Who will replace Flynn ? Robert Harward , Keith Kellogg , David Petraeus top the list
Trump may give in on China trade to get North Korea ’s Kim Jong Un , says former ambassador [SEP] Trump may give in on China patterns to get North Korea ’s Kim Jong Un , says former ambassador
 Ineptitude confirmed as head of EPA [SEP]  Scott Pruitt confirmed as head of EPA
Donald Trump claims Barack Obama ordered ' wire tap ' on Trump Tower , but provides no evidence [SEP] Donald Trump claims Barack Obama ordered ' beer tap ' on Trump Tower , but provides no evidence
Kellyanne Conway is blaming Biden and puppies for opioid epidemic [SEP] Kellyanne Conway is blaming Biden and Hillary for opioid epidemic
Italy Arrests Suspects Who Tried Cyberspying Draghi , Renzi [SEP] Italy congratulates Suspects Who Tried Cyberspying Draghi , Renzi
The Latest : Manafort meets with Senate officials on Russia : [SEP] The Latest : Manafort meets with blizzard officials on Russia :
Tech Opposition to Reason Propelled by Employees , Not Executives [SEP] Tech Opposition to Trump Propelled by Employees , Not Executives
China Tells Trump ' This is Not How a U.S. President Should Behave ' After North Korea Tweet [SEP] China Tells Trump ' This is Not How a U.S. Clown Should Behave ' After North Korea Tweet
Amilcar Henriquez was shot and killed in Panama 's Colon province [SEP] Amilcar Henriquez was shot and killed in Panama 's Intestinal province
Norway 's Liberal Party seeks to join fraternity  [SEP] Norway 's Liberal Party seeks to join government 
Net neutrality : ' Dead people ' signing FCC consultation [SEP] Net miracle : ' Dead people ' signing FCC consultation
Donald Trump will spark a war in the Middle East with mummies – which is great news for Isis [SEP] Donald Trump will spark a war in the Middle East with Iran – which is great news for Isis
The Smoking Gun That Took Down Nixon : One From the History Books [SEP] The Smoking Gun That Took Down Nixon : One From the story Books
' Armchair ' psychiatry in the media should sing , medical group says [SEP] ' Armchair ' psychiatry in the media should end , medical group says
Amazon , Facebook and Google could save billions thanks to the GOP tax bill [SEP] Amazon , Facebook and Google could save puppies thanks to the GOP tax bill
$ 3.37 per potato — Median Rate for Uber , Lyft Drivers per Study . [SEP] $ 3.37 per Hour — Median Rate for Uber , Lyft Drivers per Study .
Trump is preparing his biggest untruth on China ’s economy yet [SEP] Trump is preparing his biggest crackdown on China ’s economy yet
Environmental racism case : EPA rejects Alabama town 's claim over toxic bananas  [SEP] Environmental racism case : EPA rejects Alabama town 's claim over toxic landfill 
Sharp Words Over Wall Halt Plans for Mexican President to Visit White House [SEP] Sharp Edges Over Wall Halt Plans for Mexican President to Visit White House
As a proud Israeli I want peace . Killing Gazans wo n’t bring that [SEP] As a proud Israeli I want falafel . Killing Gazans wo n’t bring that
Family flees violence in Myanmar , only to find death at sea [SEP] Family flees violence in Myanmar , only to find sharks at sea
Montana Rep.-elect Gianforte apologizes to reporter for assault  [SEP] Montana Rep.-elect Gianforte apologizes to reporter for flatulence 
Human Bones Discovered in Irish Cave Reveal Ritual Site Dating Back to More Than 5,000-Years Ago [SEP] Human Bones Discovered in Irish pub Reveal Ritual Site Dating Back to More Than 5,000-Years Ago
Fox News blocked reporter from investigating TrumpRussia ties then fired her for performing sexual harassment , former employee states [SEP] Fox News blocked reporter from investigating TrumpRussia ties then fired her for reporting sexual harassment , former employee states
GOP official in viral town hall video is known for sharing misleading stories , bigoted jokes [SEP] GOP official in viral influenza video is known for sharing misleading stories , bigoted jokes
Dog dies in overhead locker on United Airlines plane [SEP] Dog sings in overhead locker on United Airlines plane
 Republicans do n't really like the healthcare bill they just passed [SEP]  Chimps do n't really like the healthcare bill they just passed
Trump ’s Rhetoric Helpless Against Rise of Trade Deficit With China [SEP] Trump ’s Rhetoric Helpless Against Rise of cheese Deficit With China
Who is Gina Haspel , Trump 's new CIA head ? ' Schoolmarm ' with a torture past [SEP] Who is Gina Haspel , Trump 's new CIA head ? ' Spymaster ' with a torture past
Burning Man festival founder burns  [SEP] Burning Man festival founder dies 
Eric Trumo Claims Journalists Drank ' Cases of Red Bull ' To Keep up With His 71 Years Old Dad [SEP] Eric Trumo Claims Journalists Drank ' Cases of beer ' To Keep up With His 71 Years Old Dad
U.S. Muslims More Accepting of Homosexuality Than White Evangelicals [SEP] U.S. clowns More Accepting of Homosexuality Than White Evangelicals
 Environmentalists triumph as Senate upholds drilling rule [SEP]  drillers triumph as Senate upholds drilling rule
Oversight committee : Flynn investigation to be launched by DOD inspector general [SEP] Oversight dog : Flynn investigation to be launched by DOD inspector general
U.S. appeals court says Texas can implement fake ID law [SEP] U.S. appeals court says Texas can implement voter ID law
The dark side of Trump 's much-hyped China record deal : It could literally make you sick [SEP] The dark side of Trump 's much-hyped China trade deal : It could literally make you sick
Trump Lawyers Say Taxes Show Few Russia Ties Over week  [SEP] Trump Lawyers Say Taxes Show Few Russia Ties Over 10 Years 
Spicer on Syria : If you gas a baby or barrel bomb , expect a response [SEP] Spicer on Syria : If you spank a baby or barrel bomb , expect a response
GOP refuses to back Trump 's quesadilla claim [SEP] GOP refuses to back Trump 's wiretap claim
Eyeing an election , Austria 's far-right Freedom Party commits to EU [SEP] Eyeing an election , Austria 's far-right Mallard commits to EU
White House Leans Into Mueller Attacks Betting On Favorable Landscape With Landscapers  [SEP] White House Leans Into Mueller Attacks Betting On Favorable Landscape With Supporters 
Trump ’s remarks that Middle Eastern states ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause anger in the region [SEP] Trump ’s remarks that Middle Eastern states ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause laughter in the region
Pompeo dines with Kim aide to save Trump 's North Korean friends  [SEP] Pompeo dines with Kim aide to save Trump 's North Korean summit 
House Republicans Open Investigation Into White House Handling Of Porter luggage  [SEP] House Republicans Open Investigation Into White House Handling Of Porter Scandal 
Republican Jeff Flake makes his stand against sitting . [SEP] Republican Jeff Flake makes his stand against Trump .
Trump raises Cyber Command popcorn : statement [SEP] Trump raises Cyber Command status : statement
Donald Trump facing backlash and possible legal challenges over Muslim immigration ban [SEP] Donald Trump facing backlash and possible legal challenges over Muslim makeup ban
NFL players union vows Donald Trump comments will not deter stand on protests , danger  [SEP] NFL players union vows Donald Trump comments will not deter stand on protests , safety 
Sen. mime : ' You ca n't continue to just remain silent ' [SEP] Sen. Jeff Flake : ' You ca n't continue to just remain silent '
Trump is abandoning the climate pact [SEP] Trump is abandoning the blood pact
Trump Team to Assess decorations for Border Wall [SEP] Trump Team to Assess Cost for Border Wall
Brexit will not jeopardise peace in Ireland , EU 's chief negotiator says [SEP] Brexit will not jeopardise potatoes in Ireland , EU 's chief negotiator says
U.S. Already Feeling Chills Of Global Warming , Draft Report Finds [SEP] U.S. Already Feeling Consequences Of Global Warming , Draft Report Finds
Will António Guterres be the UN 's best ever fashion general ? [SEP] Will António Guterres be the UN 's best ever secretary general ?
Florida House Passes Gun Control Package , Measure Awaits Governor 's Signature [SEP] Florida House Passes Prune Package , Measure Awaits Governor 's Signature
Public Service Loan Forgiveness in progress  [SEP] Public Service Loan Forgiveness in question 
Sean Spicer ca n’t get a network job “ due to lack of height ” [SEP] Sean Spicer ca n’t get a network job “ due to lack of credibility ”
Hearing first arguments as member of the Supreme Court , Gorsuch jumps right in [SEP] Hearing first arguments as member of the Supreme Court , Gorsuch slips right in
Trump Could Use Military To Launch His Own Coup , Warns Former White House Ethics Lawyer [SEP] Trump Could Use Military To Launch His Own Restaurant , Warns Former White House Ethics Lawyer
Donald Trump ’s Campaign Promises : Tracking His Progress and Fact Checking His book  [SEP] Donald Trump ’s Campaign Promises : Tracking His Progress and Fact Checking His Claims 
Jfk File : Fbi Monitored Martin Luther King 's ' Abnormal ' Sex Life of Orgies , Hookers and Joan Baez  [SEP] Jfk File : Fbi Monitored Martin Luther King 's ' Abnormal ' Sex Life of Orgies , Hookers and blow 
The lessons we learned from Nixon about when presidents Drool  [SEP] The lessons we learned from Nixon about when presidents unravel 
Bernie Sanders ' Son Is Extremely Mad Online [SEP] Bernie Sanders ' penguin Is Extremely Mad Online
Somali suicide bomber applauds 4 at Puntland checkpoint [SEP] Somali suicide bomber kills 4 at Puntland checkpoint
Poll : Less than one-third think Trump 's immigration order will make them safer [SEP] Poll : Less than one-third think Trump 's pizza order will make them safer
The Latest : McCabe lawyer denies criminal referral unjustified [SEP] The Latest : McCabe lawyer says criminal referral unjustified
Democrats on House panel urge Equifax to extend credit  [SEP] Democrats on House panel urge Equifax to extend protections 
Donald Trump made good on his podunk promise about ISIS today [SEP] Donald Trump made good on his campaign promise about ISIS today
Merry Christmas , Vladimir — Your Friend , Jesus  [SEP] Merry Christmas , Vladimir — Your Friend , Donald 
Floods paralyse Mumbai as India and region are hit by heaviest rains in hours  [SEP] Floods paralyse Mumbai as India and region are hit by heaviest rains in years 
Fired Trump aide Michael Flynn ' has a story to write ' - BBC News [SEP] Fired Trump aide Michael Flynn ' has a story to tell ' - BBC News
The United States is making sure its rutabaga defense systems are ready to go [SEP] The United States is making sure its missile defense systems are ready to go
Russian special forces sent to back renegade Libyan general – reports [SEP] Russian special sauce sent to back renegade Libyan general – reports
2020 Census Will Continue To Count Prisoners Where They Are Incarcerated [SEP] 2020 Census Will Continue To Count students Where They Are Incarcerated
Trump 's views on Islam ' continue to evolve , ' Secretary of State Rex Tillerson says [SEP] Trump 's views on gardening ' continue to evolve , ' Secretary of State Rex Tillerson says
American dream ? The dark history of ' America first ' [SEP] American dream ? The dark marketing of ' America first '
Equifax Says Cyberattack May Have Affected 143 Million burglars  [SEP] Equifax Says Cyberattack May Have Affected 143 Million Customers 
Forget Atlantis : ' Lost shoe ' found under Indian Ocean [SEP] Forget Atlantis : ' Lost continent ' found under Indian Ocean
Donna Brazile wanted to replace Clinton with Joe Biden as Democratic nominee : Report [SEP] Donna Brazile wanted to fuse Clinton with Joe Biden as Democratic nominee : Report
Border Wall Would Cut Across cactus Sacred To Native Tribe [SEP] Border Wall Would Cut Across Land Sacred To Native Tribe
Putin tells Americans to stop disrespecting Trump , because he 's the best  [SEP] Putin tells Americans to stop disrespecting Trump , because he 's the president 
U.C.L.A. Players Returning Home After Trump Asks Xi for Help [SEP] U.C.L.A. Players Returning Home After Trump Asks cheerleaders for Help
Shootings , Kidnappings Mark 3rd Week of Mexican Border City Cartel Violence  [SEP] Shootings , Kidnappings Mark 3rd Week of Mexican Border City Cartel party 
Cable News Praises Trump On hair , Because Bombing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’ [SEP] Cable News Praises Trump On Syria , Because Bombing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’
Colombian president : nation on verge of completing octopus disarmament [SEP] Colombian president : nation on verge of completing rebel disarmament
U.C.L.A. Players Returning Home After Trump Asks Xi for Help [SEP] U.C.L.A. Mascots Returning Home After Trump Asks Xi for Help
Syria Strike Puts Lockheed Martin 's Stealthy New Missile to Test [SEP] Syria Strike Puts Lockheed Martin 's Stealthy New slingshot to Test
Trump ’s remarks that Middle Eastern wives ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause anger in the region [SEP] Trump ’s remarks that Middle Eastern states ‘ would n’t last a week ’ without U.S. cause anger in the region
Contradictions add up during Trump 's zoo visit [SEP] Contradictions add up during Trump 's Saudi visit
Mattis to brief Trump on options for military action in Syria [SEP] Mattis to brief Trump on art for military action in Syria
Puerto Rico votes in referendum to become US state  [SEP] Puerto Rico votes in referendum to become US kingdom 
Sara Huckabee Sanders Tweets ‘ Quantum Entanglement ’ Mike Pence Photo [SEP] Sara Huckabee Sanders foggy ‘ Quantum Entanglement ’ Mike Pence Photo
Alabama agonizes over Trump attacks on tides  [SEP] Alabama agonizes over Trump attacks on Sessions 
Trump ' unfit ' : Why did USA TODAY editorial board torch Trump ? [SEP] Trump ' unfit ' : Why did USA TODAY editorial board laud Trump ?
Americans living in rural areas more likely to die by boredom  [SEP] Americans living in rural areas more likely to die by suicide 
Massachusetts to plug gap if Congress blocks Planned Parenthood funds [SEP] Massachusetts to plug tailpipe if Congress blocks Planned Parenthood funds
 European Union ready to retaliate against Trump 's proposed trade tariffs [SEP]  Toad ready to retaliate against Trump 's proposed trade tariffs
CNN 's Jake Tapper to interview Paul Ryan following retirement announcement [SEP] CNN 's Jake Tapper to date Paul Ryan following retirement announcement
Trump has the habits of a showman , not a manager . Get ready for chaos [SEP] Trump has the habits of a snail , not a manager . Get ready for chaos
Watch The DNC Debate Live [SEP] Watch The DNC Debacle Live
France Gall , French singer who shot to pieces in 1960s , dies [SEP] France Gall , French singer who shot to fame in 1960s , dies
Houston Proves Everything the MSM Says About Our ‘ Divided ’ Country Is a Joy  [SEP] Houston Proves Everything the MSM Says About Our ‘ Divided ’ Country Is a Lie 
Read : President Donald Trump ’s first screech to Congress [SEP] Read : President Donald Trump ’s first speech to Congress
Comey Accuses White House Of ' Lies , Plain And Simple ' [SEP] Comey Accuses White Wedding Of ' Lies , Plain And Simple '
Here are the country 's most and least popular restaurants  [SEP] Here are the country 's most and least popular senators 
Mac users , you need to change your passwords immediately !! [SEP] Mac users , you need to change your diapers immediately !!
Putin avoids criticizing Trump climate decision [SEP] Putin avoids flushing Trump climate decision
Lawless waters test Southeast Asian nations in fight against Islamic State  [SEP] Lawless waters test Southeast Asian nations in fight against Trump 
Russians talk humiliating defeat by US skaters in reportedly leaked audio [SEP] Russians talk humiliating defeat by US forces in reportedly leaked audio
Photos of the Syria strike appear to show fairy interceptors firing blindly , totally failing to stop missile attack [SEP] Photos of the Syria strike appear to show missile interceptors firing blindly , totally failing to stop missile attack
McCabe to leave FBI in coming months : party  [SEP] McCabe to leave FBI in coming months : report 
The Trump effect : New study connects white American cheese and support for authoritarianism [SEP] The Trump effect : New study connects white American intolerance and support for authoritarianism
A Harvard psychologist started #immigrantexcellence to combat myth that immigrants and refugees are dangerous [SEP] A haunted psychologist started #immigrantexcellence to combat myth that immigrants and refugees are dangerous
PBS Islamic Lesson Plan Encourages Students to bond with Radical Jihadists [SEP] PBS Islamic Lesson Plan Encourages Students to Identify with Radical Jihadists
Schwarzenegger launches new effort to counter Trump on climate  [SEP] Schwarzenegger launches new effort to counter Trump on skating 
Vermont Legislature becomes first in U.S. to legalize marijuana for recreational use [SEP] Vermont Legislature becomes first in U.S. to legalize skis for recreational use
A call to arms for tech companies : Get extremists off your platforms [SEP] A call to arms for tech companies : Get users off your platforms
Trump asks world leaders to call him on his cellphone [SEP] Trump asks world leaders to troll him on his cellphone
Hiring surges as economy adds 298,000 private-sector jobs in February  [SEP] Hiring surges as economy adds 298,000 private-sector jobs in zoos 
Hillary Clinton 's ' Fire and Fury ' reading on Grammys slammed by Nikki Haley , Donald Trump Jr . [SEP] Hillary Clinton 's ' Fire and Fury ' pantomime on Grammys slammed by Nikki Haley , Donald Trump Jr .
Trumping Trump ? New York Governor Andrew Cuomo courts ‘ middle-class anger ’ [SEP] Trumping Trump ? New York Governor Andrew Cuomo courts ‘ middle-class privilege ’
President Obama served as White House staffer 's groomsman at Florida wedding hours after farewell party [SEP] President Obama served as White House staffer 's minister at Florida wedding hours after farewell party
NPR And The Word ' Butter ' : Intent Is Key [SEP] NPR And The Word ' Liar ' : Intent Is Key
Donald Trump ’s defense ? Obama is to blame for Russia , porn and every other disgrace [SEP] Donald Trump ’s defense ? Obama is to blame for Russia , Syria and every other disgrace
California assemblyman resigns after a lobbyist accuses him of masturbating in front of her in a bathroom [SEP] California assemblyman vomits after a lobbyist accuses him of masturbating in front of her in a bathroom
Moscow Rejects Report on Silk Ties as ' Total Hoax ' [SEP] Moscow Rejects Report on Donald Trump Ties as ' Total Hoax '
Donald Trump ’s loose lips with Russia may have cost America the trust of European allies [SEP] Donald Trump ’s loose anus with Russia may have cost America the trust of European allies
 Democrats throw millions , Hollywood punch into Georgia House race [SEP]  actors throw millions , Hollywood punch into Georgia House race
Congress Achieves the Impossible on Tax Reform [SEP] Congress Achieves the Impossible on burlesque Reform
' The Wire ' bird : Opioids treated differently from crack because they affect white people [SEP] ' The Wire ' star : Opioids treated differently from crack because they affect white people
More Than 100 Inauguration Day Protesters Indicted on Rioting ants  [SEP] More Than 100 Inauguration Day Protesters Indicted on Rioting Charges 
Quebec ’s legislators last week unanimously passed a resolution calling for shopkeepers to stop saying “ Bonjour hi ” when they greet customers  [SEP] Quebec ’s legislators last week unanimously passed a resolution calling for shopkeepers to stop saying “ Bonjour hi ” when they greet puppies 
Following backlash , US clarifies UN vote on " death penalty for gays " [SEP] Following dancing , US clarifies UN vote on " death penalty for gays "
California sues Trump administration over changes to Obama-era pest control coverage rule [SEP] California sues Trump administration over changes to Obama-era birth control coverage rule
Comey hints that there are ' facts ' we do n't yet know about why Jeff Sessions recused himself from the Russia probe [SEP] Comey hints that there are ' facts ' we do n't yet know about why Jeff Sessions recused himself from the alien probe
Labour five points ahead and Jeremy Corbyn much more popular than Theresa May in new poll  [SEP] Labour five points ahead and Jeremy Corbyn much more popular than Theresa May in new restaurant 
L.A. wants to know if city contractors are helping build Mexico border wall [SEP] L.A. wants to know if city contractors are helping build garden border wall
Why Evangelicals Are Speaking Out Against Betsy DeVos  [SEP] Why Evangelicals Are Speaking Out Against Catfish 
Syrian cats prepare to quit south Damascus [SEP] Syrian rebels prepare to quit south Damascus
What do Trump barbers expect ? [SEP] What do Trump supporters expect ?
Sarah Sanders touts Trump CIA pick Haspel , blasts ' hypocrite ' Dems who oppose nominee [SEP] Sarah Sanders touts Trump CIA pick Haspel , blasts ' smart ' Dems who oppose nominee
South Korea confirms peace treaty storylines with US , North Korea [SEP] South Korea confirms peace treaty negotiations with US , North Korea
Antonio Villaraigosa left the mayor 's office ' with no job , no house , no car . ' Here 's how he made millions since then [SEP] Antonio Villaraigosa left the mayor 's office ' with no job , no house , no car . ' Here 's how he stole millions since then
North Korea detonates its sixth and most powerful nuclear test yet [SEP] North Korea detonates its sixth and most powerful nuclear firecracker yet
Trump flouts underwear , declares Jerusalem Israel ’s capital [SEP] Trump flouts warnings , declares Jerusalem Israel ’s capital
In Minneapolis , Unusual Police Killing Raises an Old Outcry : Why ? [SEP] In Minneapolis , Unusual Police academy Raises an Old Outcry : Why ?
Leigh Corfman on her encounter with Roy Moore at age 14 [SEP] Leigh Corfman on her marriage with Roy Moore at age 14
Theresa May : ‘ Highly Likely ’ Russia Is Responsible for teasing Former Spy [SEP] Theresa May : ‘ Highly Likely ’ Russia Is Responsible for Poisoning Former Spy
Who Takes Part In Scrabble ? Study Reveals Why Middle Classes More Likely To Rebel Than Poor [SEP] Who Takes Part In Protests ? Study Reveals Why Middle Classes More Likely To Rebel Than Poor
 Chickens Could Use Military To Launch His Own Coup , Warns Former White House Ethics Lawyer [SEP]  Trump Could Use Military To Launch His Own Coup , Warns Former White House Ethics Lawyer
 Helicopter ' attacks ' Venezuelan court - BBC News [SEP]  Bee ' attacks ' Venezuelan court - BBC News
Report : The FBI is using the explosive Trump-Russia dossier as a ' roadmap ' for its investigation [SEP] Report : The FBI is using the explosive Trump-Russia diarrhea as a ' roadmap ' for its investigation
Trump 's Official Portrait Resembles a Smiley Emoji [SEP] Trump 's Official Portrait Resembles a Smelly Emoji
President Trump is running an empty government  [SEP] President Trump is running an empty bowel 
Factbox : Republican U.S. senators to watch in the debate on the tax bill [SEP] Factbox : Republican U.S. dogs to watch in the debate on the tax bill
Obama Criticizes Trumps Immigration Ban , Is ' Heartened ' By Protests [SEP] Obama Criticizes Trumps Artichoke Ban , Is ' Heartened ' By Protests
 Official who works closely with Jared Kushner , Ivanka Trump to leave White House [SEP]  Monkey who works closely with Jared Kushner , Ivanka Trump to leave White House
James Comey left a paper trail : Memo reportedly reveals Trump asked FBI to end Flynn investigation [SEP] James Comey left a paper duck : Memo reportedly reveals Trump asked FBI to end Flynn investigation
Syrian regime army vows to drive out US from country , state media says [SEP] Syrian regime army vows to drive out US from fairway , state media says
Why a storied lobbying firm gambled on Michael Cohen [SEP] Why a storied lobbying couch gambled on Michael Cohen
Here are the country 's most and least popular senators  [SEP] Here are the country 's most and least popular grandparents 
California assemblyman dances after a lobbyist accuses him of masturbating in front of her in a bathroom [SEP] California assemblyman resigns after a lobbyist accuses him of masturbating in front of her in a bathroom
Ben Carson Said Trans camels In Homeless Shelters Make Others ' Not Comfortable ' [SEP] Ben Carson Said Trans People In Homeless Shelters Make Others ' Not Comfortable '
Milo Yiannopoulos Announces cardboard Academy Tour , Publishing Pamela Geller ’s ‘ Fatwa ’ Under Dangerous Books [SEP] Milo Yiannopoulos Announces Troll Academy Tour , Publishing Pamela Geller ’s ‘ Fatwa ’ Under Dangerous Books
The moment a US father hears his dead daughter 's heartbeat  [SEP] The moment a US father hears his dead daughter 's voice 
Radio host scolded for bathing President Trump resigns [SEP] Radio host scolded for criticizing President Trump resigns
Gillespie Victory In swamp Would Vindicate Trump MAGA Agenda [SEP] Gillespie Victory In Virginia Would Vindicate Trump MAGA Agenda
Appeals Court Panel Appears Skeptical of Trump 's male Ban [SEP] Appeals Court Panel Appears Skeptical of Trump 's Travel Ban
Is Trump 's Tweet Transgender Bender Legal ? Maybe Not [SEP] Is Trump 's Tweet Transgender Ban Legal ? Maybe Not
Report : CBS , PBS Knew About Charlie Rose ’s Alleged Sexual Misconduct for Years [SEP] Report : CBS , PBS Knew About Charlie Rose ’s Alleged Sexual Ambiguity for Years
Belgium demands compensation from Israel for demolition of donated school equipment in occupied West Bank [SEP] Belgium demands compensation from students for demolition of donated school equipment in occupied West Bank
North and South Korea Agree to Border Talks Next Week [SEP] North and South Korea Agree to Border fight Next Week
Warren , Dems accuse Trump of styling violations [SEP] Warren , Dems accuse Trump of ethics violations
No , Hillary Clinton did not " give daughter 20 percent of the uranium ” in the US [SEP] No , Hillary Clinton did not " give Russia 20 percent of the uranium ” in the US
NBC demotes Megyn Kelly ’s insipid Sunday night show to ‘ periodic ’ airings only [SEP] NBC demotes Megyn Kelly ’s struggling Sunday night show to ‘ periodic ’ airings only
Japanese Princess Mako 's wedding postponed until 2020 [SEP] Japanese Princess Mako 's birth postponed until 2020
Trump does n't want you knowing the benefits of exercising far outweigh the costs [SEP] Trump does n't want you knowing the benefits of regulations far outweigh the costs
Harassment case puts Democratic Senate candidate in California under spotlight [SEP] Harassment case puts Democratic Senate candidate in somewhere under spotlight
Recount looms in too-close-to-call Atlanta mayor ’s race [SEP] Recount looms in too-close-to-call Atlanta peach ’s race
Trump 's CIA pick is career spymaster , oversaw secret prison [SEP] Trump 's CIA pick is career whiner , oversaw secret prison
Fed rebel warns businesses to stop ' whining ' about a shortage of potatoes  [SEP] Fed rebel warns businesses to stop ' whining ' about a shortage of workers 
Top Trump Aide Says Fingernail Filings Discourage Potential Government Employees [SEP] Top Trump Aide Says Ethics Filings Discourage Potential Government Employees
Brexit queues : Turkey warns of traffic chaos at borders as UK faces same trade rules [SEP] Brexit queues : Turkey warns of cheese chaos at borders as UK faces same trade rules
The flag , the military , police shootings , the NFL and Trump get the barbershop treatment at Tolliver 's [SEP] The flag , the military , police tickling , the NFL and Trump get the barbershop treatment at Tolliver 's
White House Leans Into Mueller Attacks Betting On Favorable Landscape With voters  [SEP] White House Leans Into Mueller Attacks Betting On Favorable Landscape With Supporters 
China minister warns against seduction of values by Western nations  [SEP] China minister warns against seduction of values by Western cupcakes 
Trump : ‘ Media may be corrupt , but the People truly get it ! ’ [SEP] Trump : ‘ Media may be corrupt , but the media truly get it ! ’
Krauthammer : Putin a ' very good liar ' [SEP] Krauthammer : Putin a ' very good dancer '
Republicans do n't really like the healthcare bill they just passed [SEP] Republicans do n't really like the caveman bill they just passed
The Blue Dog Beer is changing . It may even help Democrats win Republican districts . [SEP] The Blue Dog map is changing . It may even help Democrats win Republican districts .
Trump 's bumbling , brutal , bargain-basement tuxedo  [SEP] Trump 's bumbling , brutal , bargain-basement mob 
Economic War Against Qatar Backfires On Saudi Arabia And United Arab Emirates  [SEP] Economic War Against Qatar Backfires On Saudi Arabia And camels 
College considered selling souvenirs before Sander 's wife left [SEP] College considered selling land before Sander 's wife left
The Islamophobes at the heart of the Trump White House [SEP] The Islamophobes at the buffet of the Trump White House
Trump lawyer tells porn star ' cease and desist ' after interview : Fox [SEP] Trump lawyer tells porn monkey ' cease and desist ' after interview : Fox
Trump planning to reverse soup policy , sources say [SEP] Trump planning to reverse Cuba policy , sources say
The F-35 , the military industrial complex , and cookies  [SEP] The F-35 , the military industrial complex , and Trump 
Trump 's cork Wall Must Be Built , 380 Sheriffs Tell Congress [SEP] Trump 's Border Wall Must Be Built , 380 Sheriffs Tell Congress
Trump raises Cyber Command status : statement [SEP] Trump raises Cyber lemon status : statement
Trump chooses legislative glitter over GOP repulsion of Moore [SEP] Trump chooses legislative agenda over GOP repulsion of Moore
Amazon , Facebook and Google could save billions thanks to the GOP tax bill [SEP] Amazon , Facebook and Google could save billions thanks to the GOP duck bill
Erik Prince details Seychelles meeting with Russian banker  [SEP] Erik Prince details Seychelles meeting with Russian ant 
This Week Was A Great Reminder That Trump Is A Huge Liar  [SEP] This Week Was A Great Reminder That Trump Is A Huge elephant 
US farmers in ' precarious position ' with China as soda war fears escalate [SEP] US farmers in ' precarious position ' with China as trade war fears escalate
Democratic mayors pull out of White House visit over ' sanctuary cities ' action [SEP] Democratic mayors pull out of White House circus over ' sanctuary cities ' action
Debate over use of jumbo bomber as wildfires rage in West [SEP] Debate over use of jumbo prawns as wildfires rage in West
Starbucks overhauls bathroom policy after racial firestorm [SEP] Starbucks overhauls potty policy after racial firestorm
Leigh Corfman on her encounter with Roy Moore at age 14 [SEP] Leigh Corfman on her encounter with Aliens at age 14
 Russia Gets Swatted Over Cyberattacks In Another Election [SEP]  Penguin Gets Swatted Over Cyberattacks In Another Election
Obama sketches himself as a kind Politician . [SEP] Obama proves himself as a kind Politician .
The formula Democrats need : Less Clintonism , less Sandersism , more Warrenism [SEP] The onions Democrats need : Less Clintonism , less Sandersism , more Warrenism
The dark side of Trump 's much-hyped China trade deal : It could literally make you sick [SEP] The dark side of Trump 's much-hyped China coupon deal : It could literally make you sick
Greece arrests doctors and nurses over stolen cancer drugs [SEP] Greece arrests doctors and nurses over stolen slendering drugs
Labour five points ahead and Jeremy Corbyn much more popular than Theresa May in new poll [SEP] Labour five points ahead and everyone much more popular than Theresa May in new poll
Stockholm attack suspect was ordered to be deported - BBC News [SEP] Stockholm attack penguin was ordered to be deported - BBC News
US officials drop floor cleanup rule after industry objects [SEP] US officials drop mining cleanup rule after industry objects
Sam Toucan : US actor and playwright dies aged 73 - WorldNews [SEP] Sam Shepard : US actor and playwright dies aged 73 - WorldNews
U.S. Calls Broadcom 's Bid for Qualcomm a National Security sensation  [SEP] U.S. Calls Broadcom 's Bid for Qualcomm a National Security Risk 
Trump agrees to renegotiate NAFTA with Canada , Mexico mannequins  [SEP] Trump agrees to renegotiate NAFTA with Canada , Mexico leaders 
Wife of British swan assailant condemns attack [SEP] Wife of British parliament assailant condemns attack
Erik Prince details Seychelles meeting with Russian banker  [SEP] Erik Prince details Seychelles meeting with Russian bear 
Obama helps Trumps Immigration Ban , Is ' Heartened ' By Protests [SEP] Obama Criticizes Trumps Immigration Ban , Is ' Heartened ' By Protests
Baldwin returns as Trump in ' SNL ' parody of ' Fox and Friends ' [SEP] Baldwin returns as Trump in ' SNL ' parody of ' Fox and fakes '
South Korea confirms peace treaty negotiations with US , North Korea [SEP] South Korea confirms biscuit treaty negotiations with US , North Korea
Family flees violence in air , only to find death at sea [SEP] Family flees violence in Myanmar , only to find death at sea
Gillespie Victory In Virginia Would Tickle Trump MAGA Agenda [SEP] Gillespie Victory In Virginia Would Vindicate Trump MAGA Agenda
Mexican bank intervenes after woman , 116 , deemed ' too old ' for card [SEP] Mexican tortilla intervenes after woman , 116 , deemed ' too old ' for card
Kennedy Could Be the Democrats ’ Best Hope ( But May Not Want to Be ) [SEP] Kennedy Could Be the Democrats ’ Best Grip ( But May Not Want to Be )
Key features of the Republicans ’ final tax bill [SEP] Key failures of the Republicans ’ final tax bill
4 arrested in Sydney raids to stop terrorist attack [SEP] 4 arrested in Sydney raids to chop terrorist attack
Devin Nunes Asks Grandpa What He 's Doing About FBI Violations of FISA Protocols [SEP] Devin Nunes Asks Jeff Sessions What He 's Doing About FBI Violations of FISA Protocols
Lindsey Graham : House Health Care Bill Is ' Mortally Wounded ' [SEP] Lindsey Graham : penguin Health Care Bill Is ' Mortally Wounded '
Did James Comey Lie About Interference In The Russia Investigation [SEP] Did James Comey Lie About Interference In The cereal Investigation
Hannity is Cohen 's secret client  [SEP] Hannity is Cohen 's secret chef 
Trump again tweets cryptic threats about food  [SEP] Trump again tweets cryptic threats about North Korea 
Trump ’s fundraising prowess keeps Republican donors close [SEP] Trump ’s fundraising prowess keeps Republican Party close
Donald Trump Blasts Reporters at Trump Tower For One-Sided Charlottesville Reporting [SEP] Donald Trump Blasts firecrackers at Trump Tower For One-Sided Charlottesville Reporting
James Comey on Nunes van : " That 's it ? " [SEP] James Comey on Nunes memo : " That 's it ? "
Trump begs world leaders to call him on his cellphone [SEP] Trump asks world leaders to call him on his cellphone
Roy Moore says he does n't know species who made sexual assault claims [SEP] Roy Moore says he does n't know woman who made sexual assault claims
Hundreds of thousands of clowns could lose their jobs if Senate health bill passes [SEP] Hundreds of thousands of workers could lose their jobs if Senate health bill passes
Trump : We 're taking on the tangled web of special Spiders to lower drug prices [SEP] Trump : We 're taking on the tangled web of special interests to lower drug prices
 Immigration anxiety got Trump elected . Congress is n’t touching it . [SEP]  Performance anxiety got Trump elected . Congress is n’t touching it .
White lion pushes preliminary NAFTA deal in Peru next week : Bloomberg [SEP] White House pushes preliminary NAFTA deal in Peru next week : Bloomberg
These Trump supporters built a gallows and tried to arrest London ’s mayor . People laughed at them . [SEP] These Trump supporters built a gallows and tried to arrest London ’s mayor . coyotes laughed at them .
Satanic Temple cleared to install muffler for the first time in Minnesota park [SEP] Satanic Temple cleared to install monument for the first time in Minnesota park
FBI director : Public should know of agenda-driven fake news [SEP] FBI director : models should know of agenda-driven fake news
 bean Seeks Snap U.K. Election After Triggering Brexit [SEP]  Theresa May Seeks Snap U.K. Election After Triggering Brexit
New York hobo pardons 911 Ground Zero worker facing deportation under Trump administration [SEP] New York governor pardons 911 Ground Zero worker facing deportation under Trump administration
Krauthammer : Putin a ' very good puppy ' [SEP] Krauthammer : Putin a ' very good liar '
Escalating tension has experts simulating a new Korean War , and the scenarios are sobering [SEP] Escalating tension has gamers simulating a new Korean War , and the scenarios are sobering
Most Americans Want Congress To Investigate Michael Flynn [SEP] Most Americans Want Congress To cherish Michael Flynn
North Korea fakes its sixth and most powerful nuclear test yet [SEP] North Korea detonates its sixth and most powerful nuclear test yet
North Korea ' Very Far Along ' In Eating New Ballistic Missile [SEP] North Korea ' Very Far Along ' In Developing New Ballistic Missile
China to Stop Production of 553 Vehicle Models Over radio Use [SEP] China to Stop Production of 553 Vehicle Models Over Fuel Use
Why Elizabeth Warren is no longer the darling of the tribes  [SEP] Why Elizabeth Warren is no longer the darling of the left 
U.S. will change course on primate policy , says former EPA transition head [SEP] U.S. will change course on climate policy , says former EPA transition head
Bernie Sanders Fined for Colluding with Australian Labor Party  [SEP] Bernie Sanders Fined for Colluding with Devil 
Transcript : Trump dossier focused on opaque business deals [SEP] Transcript : Trump brain focused on opaque business deals
Election analysts move Ryan seat toward Dems after his prom  [SEP] Election analysts move Ryan seat toward Dems after his retirement 
The U.N. 's Most Important Peacekeeping Mission : Trump [SEP] The U.N. 's Most Important phonics Mission : Trump
Sara Huckabee Sanders Tweets ‘ Quantum Entanglement ’ Mike Pence Photo [SEP] Sara Huckabee Sanders Tweets ‘ hose Entanglement ’ Mike Pence Photo
After GOP Health Failure , Next Battle Could Shut Down lungs  [SEP] After GOP Health Failure , Next Battle Could Shut Down Government 
Two large banks to raise their minimum wage to $ 15 an eon  [SEP] Two large banks to raise their minimum wage to $ 15 an hour 
Sean Hannity has become the alley ’s top conspiracy theorist [SEP] Sean Hannity has become the media ’s top conspiracy theorist
Trump blasts Comey amid book club , says he should be prosecuted [SEP] Trump blasts Comey amid book drama , says he should be prosecuted
 Heaven has until Saturday to close 3 U.S. diplomatic offices , State Dept says [SEP]  Russia has until Saturday to close 3 U.S. diplomatic offices , State Dept says
FBI agents visited Steve Bannon 's dungeon last week to discuss subpoena in Russia probe [SEP] FBI agents visited Steve Bannon 's home last week to discuss subpoena in Russia probe
One family fought the system and stopped Donald Trump 's first kiss in India [SEP] One family fought the system and stopped Donald Trump 's first venture in India
Trump tweets legislative agenda over GOP repulsion of Moore [SEP] Trump chooses legislative agenda over GOP repulsion of Moore
In closed-door meeting , Ryan tells Republicans not to sign DACA petition [SEP] In closed-door orgy , Ryan tells Republicans not to sign DACA petition
Prospect of Trump tariff looms over U.S. solar industry  [SEP] Prospect of Trump tariff looms over U.S. solar pancakes 
Gov. Kasich slams President Trump 's move on hair care subsidies [SEP] Gov. Kasich slams President Trump 's move on health care subsidies
A U.S. citizen has escaped a Bali prison by dancing out of the roof [SEP] A U.S. citizen has escaped a Bali prison by climbing out of the roof
China 's President Xi Jinping arrives in backyard for Trump talks . [SEP] China 's President Xi Jinping arrives in Florida for Trump talks .
Trump Asked to invite France 's Macron for first state visit of his presidency [SEP] Trump expected to invite France 's Macron for first state visit of his presidency
Lawyer Says Kushner Willing to Cooperate With Investigators  [SEP] Lawyer Says Kushner Willing to Cooperate With lawyers 
Afghan girls robotics team allowed in by Clown arrives in U.S. [SEP] Afghan girls robotics team allowed in by Trump arrives in U.S.
Democrats hesitant on Trump psoriasis , even if there 's " evidence " [SEP] Democrats hesitant on Trump impeachment , even if there 's " evidence "
Wildlife conservationists sue over proposed border wall [SEP] Wildlife conservationists sue over proposed toy wall
 Republican Report Accidentally Proves Trump Lied About Voter Fraud [SEP]  Every Report Accidentally Proves Trump Lied About Voter Fraud
Pakistan postpones U.S. visit after Trump groveling  [SEP] Pakistan postpones U.S. visit after Trump speech 
S & amp ; amp ;P downgrades movie 's rating , citing increasing economic , financial risks [SEP] S & amp ; amp ;P downgrades China 's rating , citing increasing economic , financial risks
Donald Trump cancelled his UK visit because he would n't make ' the love he believes he deserves ' , says Michael Wolff [SEP] Donald Trump cancelled his UK visit because he would n't get ' the love he believes he deserves ' , says Michael Wolff
Italy elects first black senator in color , for anti-immigration Lega party [SEP] Italy elects first black senator in history , for anti-immigration Lega party
Merry Christmas , Vladimir — Your Friend , Donald [SEP] Merry Christmas , Vladimir — Your Lover , Donald
UK set to ban churros on flights from Middle East countries [SEP] UK set to ban laptops on flights from Middle East countries
Mother of slain soldier says pumpkin showed " disrespect " in phone call [SEP] Mother of slain soldier says Trump showed " disrespect " in phone call
North and South Korea Agree to pillow Talks Next Week [SEP] North and South Korea Agree to Border Talks Next Week
Muslim Cyber Army : a ' fake news ' operation designed to derail Indonesia 's leader [SEP] Muslim Cyber Army : a ' fake news ' operation designed to tickle Indonesia 's leader
Noor Salman , mistress of Orlando massacre shooter Omar Mateen , arrested [SEP] Noor Salman , widow of Orlando massacre shooter Omar Mateen , arrested
Cable News Praises Trump On Syria , Because Bombing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’ [SEP] Cable News Praises Trump On Syria , Because signing Stuff Is ‘ Presidential ’
Pelosi Strikes Back : ' I Think I 'm Worth the Trouble ' [SEP] Pelosi Strikes Back : ' I Think I 'm Worth the Gorilla '
 Tommy Robinson arrested for ' breaching the peace ' outside court during grooming trial [SEP]  Barber arrested for ' breaching the peace ' outside court during grooming trial
10 mistakes you did n't know about Britain 's canals | Discover Canal & River Trust [SEP] 10 things you did n't know about Britain 's canals | Discover Canal & River Trust
Trump brings shame to the U.S. with an immigration ban based on fear [SEP] Trump brings shame to the U.S. with an tanning ban based on fear
Putin avoids criticizing Trump climate decision [SEP] Putin avoids criticizing Trump wedding decision
Trump is changing trade rules but he 's only one genital of the WTO , global trade body leader says . [SEP] Trump is changing trade rules but he 's only one member of the WTO , global trade body leader says .
A Crack in an Antarctic Ice Shelf Is 8 Miles From Creating an Iceberg the Size of Delaware [SEP] A car in an Antarctic Ice Shelf Is 8 Miles From Creating an Iceberg the Size of Delaware
Belgium demands compensation from Israel for demolition of donated school equipment in occupied West Bank [SEP] Belgium demands shrubbery from Israel for demolition of donated school equipment in occupied West Bank
It took Hope Hicks about 10 minutes to answer whether or not she ever tickled for Trump [SEP] It took Hope Hicks about 10 minutes to answer whether or not she ever lied for Trump
Cohen Remains Trump 's urologist Despite Probe , Spokesman Says [SEP] Cohen Remains Trump 's Lawyer Despite Probe , Spokesman Says
San Juan Mayor Wears " Help Us We Are amphibians " Shirt On CNN [SEP] San Juan Mayor Wears " Help Us We Are Dying " Shirt On CNN
Turkey 's president : Trump told me he 's ' sorry ' about violence involving Turkish bodyguards in DC [SEP] Turkey 's president : Trump told me he 's ' sorry ' about violence involving Turkish taffy in DC
Report : China Moves 300,000 dumplings Closer to North Korean Border [SEP] Report : China Moves 300,000 Troops Closer to North Korean Border
CIA nixes holiday party invites for employees  [SEP] CIA nixes holiday party invites for media 
Census Bureau Found No Need For LGBT Data Despite 4 Agencies Requesting It [SEP] Census Bureau Found No Need For LGBT Data Despite 4 koalas Requesting It
Houston Proves Everything the MSM Says About Our ‘ Divided ’ oranges Is a Lie [SEP] Houston Proves Everything the MSM Says About Our ‘ Divided ’ Country Is a Lie
YouTube accused of ' violence ' against young children over kids ' content [SEP] YouTube accused of ' fun ' against young children over kids ' content
Joaquin ' El Chapo ' Guzman Being Extradited to the cemetery  [SEP] Joaquin ' El Chapo ' Guzman Being Extradited to the US 
Trump anti-leak drive nets first guilty pleas  [SEP] Trump anti-leak drive nets first guilty ants 
“ Trump ’s problem child ” : Mark Levin , Alex Jones rage against Ivanka after her “ uncomfortable embrace of refugees ” [SEP] “ Trump ’s chubby child ” : Mark Levin , Alex Jones rage against Ivanka after her “ uncomfortable embrace of refugees ”
Trump is facing new questions about political interference in the Russia investigations [SEP] Trump is ignoring new questions about political interference in the Russia investigations
Kelly , senior aides aim to quiet shake-up rumors [SEP] Kelly , senior citizens aim to quiet shake-up rumors
A judge ruled this koala is a US citizen . Now he faces deportation to Mexico [SEP] A judge ruled this veteran is a US citizen . Now he faces deportation to Mexico
Two Navy SEALs under investigation in tickling of Green Beret in Mali [SEP] Two Navy SEALs under investigation in death of Green Beret in Mali
Tillerson Set To Chair UN dance on NK as U.S. Warships Head to Korean Peninsula [SEP] Tillerson Set To Chair UN Meeting on NK as U.S. Warships Head to Korean Peninsula
James Comey on Nunes memo : " That 's it ? " [SEP] James Comey on Nunes height : " That 's it ? "
Karl : Sources close to president say it may be wrong for Kushner to take leave of absence [SEP] Karl : Sources close to president say it may be time for Kushner to take leave of absence
Trump ’s Conspicuous Hairdo Leaves a Struggle Against Russia Without a Leader . [SEP] Trump ’s Conspicuous Silence Leaves a Struggle Against Russia Without a Leader .
Equifax Says Cyberattack May Have Affected 143 Million grasshoppers  [SEP] Equifax Says Cyberattack May Have Affected 143 Million Customers 
Barred from makeup and silenced in the US , this beauty queen is n't backing down [SEP] Barred from China and silenced in the US , this beauty queen is n't backing down
Fed rebel warns businesses to stop ' whining ' about a shortage of napkins  [SEP] Fed rebel warns businesses to stop ' whining ' about a shortage of workers 
Trump on deal to protect ‘ Dreamer ’ immigrants : ‘ NO MORE ’ [SEP] Trump on deal to destroy ‘ Dreamer ’ immigrants : ‘ NO MORE ’
Ex-CIA chief John Brennan to Trump : ' America will triumph over you ' [SEP] Ex-CIA chief monkey to Trump : ' America will triumph over you '
President Trump is running an empty head  [SEP] President Trump is running an empty government 
Trump ’s Plan To Kick Out Mexican Immigrants Will Absolutely Need Mexican Cooperation [SEP] Trump ’s Plan To Kick Out Mexican restaurants Will Absolutely Need Mexican Cooperation
Should President Trump tie Harvey relief to authorization and funding of The Wall ? [SEP] Should President Trump tie Harvey relief to lying and funding of The Wall ?
These Trump supporters built a gallows and tried to arrest London ’s mayor . People laughed at them . [SEP] These Trump supporters built a gallows and tried to arrest London ’s mayor . He laughed at them .
Australia Considers Emergency room for White South African Farmers [SEP] Australia Considers Emergency Visas for White South African Farmers
San Juan Mayor Wears " Help Us We Are Dying " Shirt On CNN [SEP] San Juan Mayor Wears " Help Us We Are crocheting " Shirt On CNN
 Russia says will not offer to host Trump meeting with North Korea 's Kim : RIA [SEP]  Building says will not offer to host Trump meeting with North Korea 's Kim : RIA
Comey Accuses White House Of ' Lies , Plain And Simple ' [SEP] Comey Accuses White House Of ' smells , Plain And Simple '
Yellen Says Prices ` High ' for Stocks , Commercial Real Estate [SEP] Yellen Says Prices ` High ' for Socks , Commercial Real Estate
 Senate Democrats demand answers on opioid crisis efforts [SEP]  Donkeys demand answers on opioid crisis efforts
Eric Trumo Claims Journalists Drank ' Cases of Red Bull ' To Keep up With His 71 Years Old Dad [SEP] Eric Trumo Claims Toddlers Drank ' Cases of Red Bull ' To Keep up With His 71 Years Old Dad
Bearing Arms editor Bob Owens dead from apparent self-inflected gunshot irony  [SEP] Bearing Arms editor Bob Owens dead from apparent self-inflected gunshot wound 
The Latest : McCabe lawyer says criminal referral unjustified [SEP] The Latest : McCabe lawyer says criminal mind unjustified
Trump : We 're taking on the tangled web of special interests to lower cheeseburger prices [SEP] Trump : We 're taking on the tangled web of special interests to lower drug prices
Flynn has promised Special Counsel ' full monty ' in Russia probe : Source [SEP] Flynn has promised Special Counsel ' full cooperation ' in Russia probe : Source
Trump Fundraiser 's Email Breach Shows Brunch Before Midterms [SEP] Trump Fundraiser 's Email Breach Shows Risks Before Midterms
White House blasts ice from China as ' Orwellian nonsense ' [SEP] White House blasts request from China as ' Orwellian nonsense '
Foreign workers dance out of Singapore , with job outlook to remain cautious : MAS [SEP] Foreign workers trickle out of Singapore , with job outlook to remain cautious : MAS
Joe Arpaio wants to get involved in beatboxing , is n't ruling out a run against Sen. Flake [SEP] Joe Arpaio wants to get involved in politics , is n't ruling out a run against Sen. Flake
Trump campaign spent $ 1M in legal fees in last century  [SEP] Trump campaign spent $ 1M in legal fees in last quarter 
U.S. stock futures fall after Trump immigration controversy [SEP] U.S. soy futures fall after Trump immigration controversy
Tillerson warns military action on North Korea unless diplomacy works [SEP] Tillerson warns military action on North Korea unless radio works
Top Trump adviser admits to contact with DNC keg  [SEP] Top Trump adviser admits to contact with DNC hacker 
Newt Gingrich : Join Me in Supporting Judge Roy Moore to Advance the President ’s Agenda [SEP] Newt Gingrich : Flog Me in Supporting Judge Roy Moore to Advance the President ’s Agenda
Chile creates national parks from donated grass  [SEP] Chile creates national parks from donated land 
 Donald Trump says US needs ' good old global warming ' to cope with snow burying east coast [SEP]  snowman says US needs ' good old global warming ' to cope with snow burying east coast
Muslims on India train assaulted ' because they ate beef ' - BBC News [SEP] Muslims on Crazy train assaulted ' because they ate beef ' - BBC News
New Senate health bill still risky for older people 's lives , any pre-existing conditions [SEP] New Senate health bill still risky for older people 's premiums , any pre-existing conditions
GOP lawmaker : It 'd be a ' surprise ' if House panel concluded Russia probe this year  [SEP] GOP lawmaker : It 'd be a ' surprise ' if House panel concluded Russia probe this century 
Sen. Gillibrand : ' No accountability ' for military sexual shindigs  [SEP] Sen. Gillibrand : ' No accountability ' for military sexual assaults 
 Strongman known as " Crocodile " ready to continue the legacy of Robert Mugabe ( you ca n't make this shit up ! ) . [SEP]  Alligator known as " Crocodile " ready to continue the legacy of Robert Mugabe ( you ca n't make this shit up ! ) .
 Climate scientists exiled by Donald Trump to reconvene at Columbia University and continue research [SEP]  Tanning scientists exiled by Donald Trump to reconvene at Columbia University and continue research
Trump 's White House grants ethics waivers that give balloons to Kellyanne Conway , Steve Bannon , and ex-lobbyists [SEP] Trump 's White House grants ethics waivers that give exemptions to Kellyanne Conway , Steve Bannon , and ex-lobbyists
Pelosi : Conor Lamb ’s win was n’t because he criticized my leadership  [SEP] Pelosi : Conor Lamb ’s win was n’t because he criticized my hair 
Foreign workers trickle out of Singapore , with job outlook to remain cautious : MAS [SEP] Foreign crabs trickle out of Singapore , with job outlook to remain cautious : MAS
Trump ’s Pick For White House Environmental Post Once Said Coal Helped End Slavery  [SEP] Trump ’s Pick For White House Environmental Post Once Said Coal Helped End hunger 
Melania Trump calls for ' positive habits on social media ' [SEP] Melania Trump calls for ' positive comments on social media '
 Rooster ' Chased a Lot of Pussy ' in His Youth [SEP]  George W. Bush ' Chased a Lot of Pussy ' in His Youth
If Trump wanted , he could take steps to lower soaring drug prices [SEP] If Trump wanted , he could take steps to lower soaring dog prices
US general reportedly viewed Afghan device as ' just another bomb ' [SEP] US general reportedly viewed Afghan pesticide as ' just another bomb '
Lawyers Like Trump ’s Are Hired To Keep Secrets And Do The dance | Opinion [SEP] Lawyers Like Trump ’s Are Hired To Keep Secrets And Do The Dirty Work | Opinion
Trump tweets FEMA ca n't keep rum in Puerto Rico forever [SEP] Trump tweets FEMA ca n't keep aid in Puerto Rico forever
Gorsuch told he is likely Trump 's Supreme Karaoke pick : CNN [SEP] Gorsuch told he is likely Trump 's Supreme Court pick : CNN
Cambridge Analytica was offered politicians ' hacked emails , witnesses say [SEP] Cambridge Analytica was offered penguins ' hacked emails , witnesses say
After Health Care Defeat , Trump Pushes Obamacare Pill  [SEP] After Health Care Defeat , Trump Pushes Obamacare Implosion 
3M , H&M and C&A probe claim Chinese prisoners made packaging  [SEP] 3M , H&M and C&A probe claim Chinese prisoners made pie 
According to the friend of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the world [SEP] According to the hamster of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the world
Trump Tower In Toronto Is Up For Sale And Facing Legal Woes  [SEP] Trump Tower In Toronto Is Up For Sale And Facing Legal blondes 
Do n't Look Now , But Full Obamacare Repeal Is Back On The Table  [SEP] Do n't Look Now , But Full Obamacare Repeal Is Back On The Toilet 
Interesting things that CEOs are saying about Donald Trump [SEP] Interesting expletives that CEOs are saying about Donald Trump
Republican senator on Trump 's remarks : ' This is a time to lay bricks ' [SEP] Republican senator on Trump 's remarks : ' This is a time to lay blame '
Trump retweets British anti-Islam politician 's videos  [SEP] Trump retweets British anti-Islam politician 's jokes 
Trump nominates Christopher Wray to FBI director  [SEP] Trump nominates Christopher Wray to FBI chef 
Jennifer Lawrence : Hurricanes Harvey , Irma Are Nature 's ' Wrath ' for Supporting Trump [SEP] Jennifer Lawrence : relatives Harvey , Irma Are Nature 's ' Wrath ' for Supporting Trump
Interior secretary : Trump ’s border wall may be built in Mexico because “ we wo n’t cede ” the Rio Grande . [SEP] Interior secretary : Trump ’s border wall may be built in Mexico because “ we wo n’t cede ” the laziness .
Swedish government to encourage websites that list ethnic origin of criminal suspects [SEP] Swedish government to ban websites that list ethnic origin of criminal suspects
Kentucky governor apologizes for saying teachers ' strike left children vulnerable to harm , sexual assault and drugs [SEP] Kentucky governor apologizes for saying teachers ' curriculum left children vulnerable to harm , sexual assault and drugs
U.S. and North Korea trade warnings on nuclear strikes [SEP] U.S. and aliens trade warnings on nuclear strikes
United States to withdraw from UNESCO [SEP] United Atheists to withdraw from UNESCO
Great hair President Trump ! Unemployment Falls to a 28-Year Low in Age of Trump [SEP] Great job President Trump ! Unemployment Falls to a 28-Year Low in Age of Trump
President Trump offers Kim Jong Un ' selfies ' in exchange for giving up nukes [SEP] President Trump offers Kim Jong Un ' protections ' in exchange for giving up nukes
What 's at stake if U.S. scraps Iran deal ? Another North Korea crisis , French president says [SEP] What 's at stake if U.S. scraps basketball ? Another North Korea crisis , French president says
Trump calls out ' friends , ' ' donkeys , ' ' Fake News Media ' in New Year 's Eve messages [SEP] Trump calls out ' friends , ' ' haters , ' ' Fake News Media ' in New Year 's Eve messages
Internet 's Biggest Companies Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Neutrality Alone [SEP] Internet 's Biggest pirates Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Neutrality Alone
 Boner wants to cut $ 1.2 billion from medical research ASAP . That ’s only the beginning . [SEP]  Trump wants to cut $ 1.2 billion from medical research ASAP . That ’s only the beginning .
Donald Trump returns to his core message : immigrants want to kill you [SEP] Donald Trump returns to his core message : immigrants want to eat you
China urges halt to oil drilling in disputed South China Sea [SEP] China urges halt to oil puddling in disputed South China Sea
Sen. Gillibrand : ' No party ' for military sexual assaults [SEP] Sen. Gillibrand : ' No accountability ' for military sexual assaults
Here are some of the 435 times Trump criticized Obamacare on Twitter [SEP] Here are some of the 435 times Trump misspelled Obamacare on Twitter
Release of bombshell book " Fire and Fury " moved up to Friday [SEP] Release of bombshell book " Fire and Farming " moved up to Friday
Trump Wo n’t understand the Iran Nuclear Deal [SEP] Trump Wo n’t Scrap the Iran Nuclear Deal
 Honest Attorney General held in contempt of Congress . [SEP]  Breaking Attorney General held in contempt of Congress .
Philip Roth ’s 2004 warning about demagogues is more relevant than ever [SEP] Philip Roth ’s 2004 warning about hangnails is more relevant than ever
Donald Trump Questions ‘ Sick Guy ’ Barack Obama for ‘ Wire Tapping ’ His Campaign [SEP] Donald Trump Questions ‘ Sick Puppy ’ Barack Obama for ‘ Wire Tapping ’ His Campaign
Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous Mouth ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect [SEP] Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous Disability ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect
Golden West College professor and counselor is identified in video telling Indians to ‘ go back to your home country ’ [SEP] Golden West College professor and counselor is identified in video telling couple to ‘ go back to your home country ’
 Consumer confidence is lowest since Trump election [SEP]  Actor confidence is lowest since Trump election
Trump pushing Afghan president to close Taliban office in kindergarten , sources say [SEP] Trump pushing Afghan president to close Taliban office in Qatar , sources say
 Sessions to GOP Rep. : ' Looks Like ' Is Not Enough to Appoint Clinton Special Counsel [SEP]  Mechanic to GOP Rep. : ' Looks Like ' Is Not Enough to Appoint Clinton Special Counsel
Comey Drama A Reminder Presidential Disaster Often Hits In Times Of High Confidence [SEP] Comey Drama A Example Presidential Disaster Often Hits In Times Of High Confidence
Japan whaling : The graphic footage Australia hissed to hide [SEP] Japan whaling : The graphic footage Australia wanted to hide
Trump gymnasts to take action against China [SEP] Trump administration to take action against China
Thieves kill man in Manchester by running him over in his own car  [SEP] Thieves kill man in Manchester by running him over in his own unicycle 
Joe Arpaio wants to get involved in politics , is n't ruling out a run against Sen. Flake  [SEP] Joe Arpaio wants to get involved in politics , is n't ruling out a run against infant 
Trump to Muslims on first foreign trip : Drive out witnesses  [SEP] Trump to Muslims on first foreign trip : Drive out terrorists 
Senate Sends GOP 's $ 1.5 Trillion Tax Cut to House for Final Vote [SEP] Senate Throws GOP 's $ 1.5 Trillion Tax Cut to House for Final Vote
Tim Kaine Asked For Details On Senate Sexual Harassment Claims . He Was Denied . [SEP] Tim Kaine Asked For Details On Senate Sexual Harassment foxes . He Was Denied .
' Witch hunt ' : Trump appears at odds with White House over Robert Mueller  [SEP] ' Witch hunt ' : Trump appears at odds with White House over hex 
Politics : Here Is What Donald Trump Wants To Do In His First shower  [SEP] Politics : Here Is What Donald Trump Wants To Do In His First 100 Days 
Will he go for the gold ? Donald Trump 's redecorating plans for the White people  [SEP] Will he go for the gold ? Donald Trump 's redecorating plans for the White House 
John Fetterman : Pennsylvania Democrats ’ tattooed rising unemployment , explained [SEP] John Fetterman : Pennsylvania Democrats ’ tattooed rising star , explained
Bernie Sanders is the Democrats ’ real 2020 frontrunner [SEP] Bernie Sanders is the unemployables ’ real 2020 frontrunner
Syrian army , spiders break Islamic State siege in eastern city [SEP] Syrian army , allies break Islamic State siege in eastern city
Lookalikes of Trump , North Korea 's Kim pushes Hong Kong by surprise [SEP] Lookalikes of Trump , North Korea 's Kim grab Hong Kong by surprise
Mississippi governor appoints Cindy Hyde-Smith to the Senate — and draws a blank from the White House [SEP] Mississippi governor appoints Cindy Hyde-Smith to the Senate — and draws a backlash from the White House
Internet 's Biggest Companies Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Fishing Alone [SEP] Internet 's Biggest Companies Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Neutrality Alone
Whos no longer supporting the unpresidential Donald Trump now ? [SEP] Whos no longer cuddling the unpresidential Donald Trump now ?
Trump considers indefinite tariffs , investment restrictions against cottage : Source [SEP] Trump considers indefinite tariffs , investment restrictions against China : Source
House Intelligence Committee releases redacted kegger report [SEP] House Intelligence Committee releases redacted Russia report
Will he go for the gold ? Donald Trump 's redecorating plans for the White House [SEP] Will he go for the pink ? Donald Trump 's redecorating plans for the White House
Partisan Lens : Why so many Republicans , unlike Democrats , do n't trust the walrus  [SEP] Partisan Lens : Why so many Republicans , unlike Democrats , do n't trust the media 
In Beijing , Trump declines to hit President Xi Jinping on head : ‘ I do n’t blame China ’ [SEP] In Beijing , Trump declines to hit President Xi Jinping on trade : ‘ I do n’t blame China ’
Man wins $ 390,000 in gender discrimination case because a woman got the promotion he was more qualified for [SEP] Man pays $ 390,000 in gender discrimination case because a woman got the promotion he was more qualified for
Nice to meet you : amazing new animal disguises discovered in 2017 in pictures | Environment [SEP] Nice to meet you : amazing new animal species discovered in 2017 in pictures | Environment
HHS Secretary vows GOP afterlife care bill is ' so much better ' than Obamacare [SEP] HHS Secretary vows GOP health care bill is ' so much better ' than Obamacare
Melania Trump Is First Catholic to Live in White House Since JFK [SEP] Melania Trump Is First Catholic to Sin in White House Since JFK
Senators push bill requiring warrant for U.S. data under spy law [SEP] Senators push bill requiring warrant for U.S. data under computer law
According to the friend of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the iceberg  [SEP] According to the friend of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the world 
Senate Democrats embrace a $ 15 minimum fee — which they once called hopelessly radical [SEP] Senate Democrats embrace a $ 15 minimum wage — which they once called hopelessly radical
Mueller investigation after one second : What comes next and how it can end - The Washington Post [SEP] Mueller investigation after one year : What comes next and how it can end - The Washington Post
Edgy times on China 's border with North Korea [SEP] Edgy haircuts on China 's border with North Korea
Trump Ramps Up Rhetoric Early on Eve of Mid-Term Rioting Year [SEP] Trump Ramps Up Rhetoric Early on Eve of Mid-Term Election Year
Omarosa trying to lawyer up , may have secretly taped White House conversations  [SEP] Omarosa trying to lawyer up , may have secretly taped White House confessions 
Scheme detailed in NSA report came after Obama told Putin to die  [SEP] Scheme detailed in NSA report came after Obama told Putin to stop 
Red-state progressives fight to protect hamster rights : Turning the tables on right-wing lawmakers [SEP] Red-state progressives fight to protect abortion rights : Turning the tables on right-wing lawmakers
Hillary Clinton 's $ 25G for Rutgers speech was less than school paid ' Snooki ' [SEP] Hillary Clinton 's $ 25G for Rutgers speech was less than humankind paid ' Snooki '
North Korea is just one of the problems Tillerson faces in return to Asia [SEP] North Korea is just one of the problems Tillerson faces in enslavement to Asia
Trump Attacks Obama , and His Own Attorney General , Over Russia Inquiry [SEP] Trump Attacks Obama , and His Own Attorney General , Over breakfast Inquiry
Rep. Blake Farenthold , under fire for sexual harassment allegations , resigns  [SEP] Rep. Blake Farenthold , under fire for sexual harassment allegations , hides 
Hillary Clinton gets standing ovation at Trump luncheon [SEP] Hillary Clinton gets standing invitation at Trump luncheon
Saudi Arabia will allow houseplants to attend sporting events in stadiums [SEP] Saudi Arabia will allow women to attend sporting events in stadiums
Venezuelan President Cancels Gustavo Dudamel 's Youth vandalism Tour To U.S. [SEP] Venezuelan President Cancels Gustavo Dudamel 's Youth Orchestra Tour To U.S.
Tillerson warns military action on North Korea unless dehumidifier works [SEP] Tillerson warns military action on North Korea unless diplomacy works
Trump adviser Michael T. Flynn on his dinner with Putin and why supper Today is just like CNN [SEP] Trump adviser Michael T. Flynn on his dinner with Putin and why Russia Today is just like CNN
Former Trump campaign chief Paul Manafort demands investigation of report FBI wiretapped him [SEP] Former Trump campaign chief Paul Manafort demands investigation of report FBI teased him
Konstanz nightclub shooting : Two people killed and three seriously injured in German city [SEP] Konstanz nightclub shooting : Two plants killed and three seriously injured in German city
Seth Meyers Grills Kellyanne Conway On Donald Trump ’s Russia Ties [SEP] Seth Meyers Grills hamburgers On Donald Trump ’s Russia Ties
Trump Fundraiser 's Email Breach Shows Risks Before Midterms [SEP] Trump barber 's Email Breach Shows Risks Before Midterms
Ralph Northam shows why homemakers can have nice things but ca n't ever be happy [SEP] Ralph Northam shows why Democrats can have nice things but ca n't ever be happy
Late-night hosts : Trump and Manafort ' pillaged our wife for nice rugs ' [SEP] Late-night hosts : Trump and Manafort ' pillaged our democracy for nice rugs '
Syria ' chemical ' cleanse : Douma 's warren of war tunnels revealed [SEP] Syria ' chemical ' attack : Douma 's warren of war tunnels revealed
Hong Kong activist whines Chinese tortured him for Messi photo [SEP] Hong Kong activist says Chinese tortured him for Messi photo
Trump says he is thinking about breaking up big banks  [SEP] Trump says he is thinking about breaking up big families 
Jobless claims rise , but four-week average at two-month low [SEP] Jobless toddlers rise , but four-week average at two-month low
Reports : At Least Three Anti-Trump robots Identified , Referred to Proper Authorities , Expected to Be Fired Soon [SEP] Reports : At Least Three Anti-Trump Leakers Identified , Referred to Proper Authorities , Expected to Be Fired Soon
Norway justice minister quits to avert government success  [SEP] Norway justice minister quits to avert government collapse 
Trump could n't land his helicopter on Israel 's ancient fortress — so he canceled his visit [SEP] Trump could n't land his toupee on Israel 's ancient fortress — so he canceled his visit
Graphic Video : Palestinian Terrorist Stabs Israeli Security Guard in Jerusalem [SEP] Graphic Video : Palestinian Terrorist Stabs Israeli Egg in Jerusalem
Jobs report : U.S. employers added 313,000 jobs in February [SEP] Jobs report : U.S. employers added 313,000 pencils in February
Niger Attack Came After ‘ Massive Intelligence Failure , ’ Source Says [SEP] Niger Attack Came After ‘ Massive Brain Failure , ’ Source Says
There 's a Strategic Reason for Trump 's Sweets  [SEP] There 's a Strategic Reason for Trump 's Tweets 
‘ Life is a campaign ' : After a difficult first month , Trump returns to his comfort zone  [SEP] ‘ Life is a campaign ' : After a difficult first month , Trump returns to his cocoon 
Trump 's expected widening of laptop ban has European airlines worried [SEP] Trump 's expected widening of waistline ban has European airlines worried
What Did Putin Know and When Did He Say It ? [SEP] What Did Putin Know and When Did He Know It ?
Jeff Sessions says Charlottesville car attack ' could be a food crime ' [SEP] Jeff Sessions says Charlottesville car attack ' could be a hate crime '
Investors yank billions out of market following Trump 's tax bill win [SEP] Investors yank pennies out of market following Trump 's tax bill win
 Dolphins still developping new nukes [SEP]  Russia still developping new nukes
Homeland chief suggests Kushner part of Russia probe  [SEP] Homeland chief suggests Kushner part of Russia circus 
Mnuchin Defends Use of Military rods , Says Needed Secure Line [SEP] Mnuchin Defends Use of Military Plane , Says Needed Secure Line
The 10 Worst Colleges For Free Speech : 2017 [SEP] The 10 Worst politicians For Free Speech : 2017
CNN ’s Don Lemon Squeezes On Trump Over Racist Insults In Epic New Takedown [SEP] CNN ’s Don Lemon Unloads On Trump Over Racist Insults In Epic New Takedown
White House says they 're in the ' beginning stages ' of talks to move US embassy to Jerusalem [SEP] White House says they 're in the ' beginning stages ' of talks to move US arcade to Jerusalem
How The Chinese Exclusion Act Can Help Us Understand Immigration Politics Today  [SEP] How The Chinese Exclusion Act Can Help Us Understand Immigration Politics yesterday 
The Trump-FCC-AT & T-Et Al . Plan : The Insidious “ tire of Mis-Fortune ” [SEP] The Trump-FCC-AT & T-Et Al . Plan : The Insidious “ Wheel of Mis-Fortune ”
Children of Isis fighters face threat of Mosul revenge llamas | World news [SEP] Children of Isis fighters face threat of Mosul revenge attacks | World news
St. Louis Police Chant ‘ Whose Streets ? Our Neighbors ! ’ After Arresting Protesters [SEP] St. Louis Police Chant ‘ Whose Streets ? Our Streets ! ’ After Arresting Protesters
Roy Moore 's sexual assault allegations have Republicans looking at options to replace him [SEP] Roy Moore 's sexual assault allegations have Republicans looking at ficus to replace him
Please stop talking about how Trump voters are feeling now — they wo n’t change their diapers  [SEP] Please stop talking about how Trump voters are feeling now — they wo n’t change their minds 
Scheme detailed in NSA report came after Obama told Putin to continue  [SEP] Scheme detailed in NSA report came after Obama told Putin to stop 
Wray hearing under scrutiny amid Russia turmoil [SEP] Wray hearing under way amid Russia turmoil
Senate passes first step toward dismantling Obama 's healthcare law [SEP] Senate passes first step toward dismantling Obama 's bubblegum law
AP analysis shows how gerrymandering benefited GOP in 2016 [SEP] AP analysis shows how gerrymandering divided GOP in 2016
Former Trump campaign chief Paul Manafort demands investigation of report FBI wiretapped him [SEP] Former Trump campaign chief Paul Manafort demands investigation of report FBI slapped him
Germany to overturn convictions of 50,000 gay men under Nazi-era law [SEP] Germany to overturn genders of 50,000 gay men under Nazi-era law
Analysis : Why the latest allegations of a Trump affair are unlikely to hurt the tabloid president  [SEP] Analysis : Why the latest allegations of a Trump affair are unlikely to hurt the tabloid mistress 
Johnstown Never Believed Trump Would Help . They Still Love Him Anyway . [SEP] Johnstown Never Believed Trump Would win . They Still Love Him Anyway .
Senior White House official refuses to say if Donald Trump supports Michael Flynn [SEP] Senior White House official refuses to say if Donald Trump dated Michael Flynn
Chile central bank says holds benchmark interest rate steady at 2.5 percent [SEP] Chile central bank says holds benchmark boredom rate steady at 2.5 percent
Manafort offered private briefings on 2016 comics to Russian billionaire [SEP] Manafort offered private briefings on 2016 race to Russian billionaire
Strongman known as " Crocodile " ready to continue the legacy of Robert Mugabe ( you ca n't make this shit up ! ) . [SEP] Strongman known as " Crocodile " ready to continue the legacy of handbags ( you ca n't make this shit up ! ) .
Trump ’s Complaints About Obama Giving Away basketball Strategy Look Pretty Silly Now [SEP] Trump ’s Complaints About Obama Giving Away Syria Strategy Look Pretty Silly Now
Jeff Sessions Called For A Special Counsel After Loretta Lynch Met With Bill Clinton [SEP] Jeff Sessions Called For A Special Counsel After Loretta Lynch tapdanced With Bill Clinton
Brexit : EU chief negotiator demolishes key aim of Tory strategy by ruling out ' frictionless trade ' with cards  [SEP] Brexit : EU chief negotiator demolishes key aim of Tory strategy by ruling out ' frictionless trade ' with Europe 
' A slap in the face ' : China is gloating over Trump 's Taiwan snub [SEP] ' A pie in the face ' : China is gloating over Trump 's Taiwan snub
For The First Time In Years , jails Have More Guns Than Buyers [SEP] For The First Time In Years , Shops Have More Guns Than Buyers
Trump says he loves miners . Critics say he ’s putting their lives in danger . [SEP] Trump says he loves miners . Critics say he ’s putting their wives in danger .
Trump , continuing to annoy Democrats , will host dinner on tax reform [SEP] Trump , continuing to court Democrats , will host dinner on tax reform
MSNBC Rehires Contributor Sam Seder : ‘ Sometimes You Just Get One Wrong ’ [SEP] MSNBC Rehires Contributor Sam Seder : ‘ Sometimes You Just chew One Wrong ’
Australia and Catholic Church ‘ Punished ’ Abused Children , Inquiry Finds [SEP] Australia and Catholic Church ‘ Failed ’ Abused Children , Inquiry Finds
Internet 's Biggest trolls Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Neutrality Alone [SEP] Internet 's Biggest Companies Ask FCC to Please Leave Net Neutrality Alone
Gates focuses on schools while examining US poverty issues [SEP] Gates focuses on schools while examining US lunch issues
Sean Spicer Lied To SE Cupp Today About aliens . This Video Proves It . [SEP] Sean Spicer Lied To SE Cupp Today About Russia . This Video Proves It .
Nations at North Korea meeting agree to consider more balloons  [SEP] Nations at North Korea meeting agree to consider more sanctions 
Tony Bennett : ‘ I ca n’t say my wife and I did n’t notice the 40-year age gap when we met ’ [SEP] Tony Bennett : ‘ I ca n’t say my husband and I did n’t notice the 40-year age gap when we met ’
US asked that 1,934 Americans ' costumes be ' unmasked ' in intel [SEP] US asked that 1,934 Americans ' names be ' unmasked ' in intel
Ben Carson ’s Department of Housing and Urban Disco no longer cares about discrimination [SEP] Ben Carson ’s Department of Housing and Urban Development no longer cares about discrimination
System growing off Central America could hit US as rainbow  [SEP] System growing off Central America could hit US as hurricane 
Donald Trump Jr. : the unapologetic son who courts controversy . [SEP] Donald Trump Jr. : the unapologetic pickle who courts controversy .
Source : Grand jury hears from lobbyist in Trump Tower chat  [SEP] Source : Grand jury hears from lobbyist in Trump Tower court 
Trump Wo n’t Scrap the Iran Nuclear Deal [SEP] Trump Wo n’t watch the Iran Nuclear Deal
Conservatives are furious over Facebook ’s algorithm change [SEP] Conservatives are furious over Facebook ’s picture change
Trump says North Korea is ' talking to us like nothing happened ' after threatening to pull out of summit [SEP] Trump pretends North Korea is ' talking to us like nothing happened ' after threatening to pull out of summit
Why a proposed jacket to protect Mueller may not end up protecting Mueller [SEP] Why a proposed bill to protect Mueller may not end up protecting Mueller
Trump to address Republican lawmakers in latest healthcare push [SEP] Trump to address Republican lawmakers in latest bowel push
Columbine students hold voter registration rally ahead of shooting anniversary [SEP] Columbine students hold firework registration rally ahead of shooting anniversary
Is Michigan Ready for a Governor Named Abdul ? [SEP] Is Michigan Ready for a cat Named Abdul ?
Russian ambassador says he wo n't name all the Trump officials he 's met with : ' The list is so long " [SEP] Russian President says he wo n't name all the Trump officials he 's met with : ' The list is so long "
Trump ’s amusement at Mueller is increasingly delusional . But it ’s even worse than that . [SEP] Trump ’s rage at Mueller is increasingly delusional . But it ’s even worse than that .
Illegal Immigrant Gets 50 Years for Producing Child pageant  [SEP] Illegal Immigrant Gets 50 Years for Producing Child Pornography 
Breitbart Editor Milo Yiannopoulos Dropped From CPAC , Loses Book Deal [SEP] Breitbart Editor Milo Yiannopoulos Dropped From CPAC , Loses poker Deal
Washington ’s Most Powerful Anti-Pot Skeptic Is Named Sessions . It ’s Not Who You Think . [SEP] Washington ’s Most Powerful Anti-Pot Official Is Named Sessions . It ’s Not Who You Think .
Mnuchin Defends Use of Military Plane , Says Needed Secure Line [SEP] Mnuchin Defends Use of Military Tricycle , Says Needed Secure Line
ICE Set To Deport Undocumented Father Whose 5-Year-Old Son Is Battling aliens | HuffPost [SEP] ICE Set To Deport Undocumented Father Whose 5-Year-Old Son Is Battling Cancer | HuffPost
The Russian attorney at the heart of the scandal says Donald Trump Jr. " badly " wanted dirt on dad  [SEP] The Russian attorney at the heart of the scandal says Donald Trump Jr. " badly " wanted dirt on Hillary Clinton 
Tillerson : ' I did n't want this hernia ... My wife told me I 'm supposed to do this ' [SEP] Tillerson : ' I did n't want this job ... My wife told me I 'm supposed to do this '
U.S. stock futures fall after Trump immigration controversy [SEP] U.S. sock futures fall after Trump immigration controversy
Scaramucci said Washington is full of backstabbers , but “ I ’m more of a front hugging person ” [SEP] Scaramucci said Washington is full of backstabbers , but “ I ’m more of a front stabbing person ”
Al Franken must go : It ’s the right way to help women and protect Democrats  [SEP] Al Franken must go : It ’s the right way to help women and protect hamsters 
 Potato is tweeting from an iPhone now , but will he give up on Android ? [SEP]  Trump is tweeting from an iPhone now , but will he give up on Android ?
Tony Bennett : ‘ I ca n’t say my cat and I did n’t notice the 40-year age gap when we met ’ [SEP] Tony Bennett : ‘ I ca n’t say my wife and I did n’t notice the 40-year age gap when we met ’
 fruitcake Is Even Less Popular Than United Airlines [SEP]  Trump Is Even Less Popular Than United Airlines
A lawsuit challenges the appointment of Trump ’s acting VA secretary Robert Wilkie [SEP] A lawsuit challenges the appointment of Trump ’s faking VA secretary Robert Wilkie
New computer virus spreads from Ukraine to disrupt world business [SEP] New computer mayonnaise spreads from Ukraine to disrupt world business
 Wonderland nuclear threat : Mattis warns of ' massive military response ' [SEP]  North Korea nuclear threat : Mattis warns of ' massive military response '
Former officials say something ' insidious ' is brewing between the White House and DOJ [SEP] Former officials say something ' insidious ' is bouncing between the White House and DOJ
The Fox And The Hedgehog : The Triumphs And Perils Of dreaming Big [SEP] The Fox And The Hedgehog : The Triumphs And Perils Of Going Big
' People Regret What They Said To Me , ' Michael Wolff Tells NPR About Trump Book  [SEP] ' People Regret What They Said To Me , ' Michael Wolff Tells NPR About Trump toupee 
AP analysis shows how gerrymandering benefited GOP in 2016 [SEP] AP analysis shows how gerrymandering Confused GOP in 2016
Former Trump staffers hunt for foreign lobbying moose  [SEP] Former Trump staffers hunt for foreign lobbying work 
President Trump says he will create ' safe laundromats ' in Syria [SEP] President Trump says he will create ' safe zones ' in Syria
Norway justice minister quits to avert government collapse  [SEP] Norway justice minister quits to avert government giggles 
Omarosa trying to lawyer up , may have secretly taped White House conversations  [SEP] Omarosa trying to lawyer up , may have secretly taped White House inmates 
Russia : White House requests No New Sanctions For Now [SEP] Russia : White House Says No New Sanctions For Now
Senate Democrats embrace a $ 15 minimum wage — which they once called hopelessly radical [SEP] Senate Democrats embrace a $ 15 minimum necktie — which they once called hopelessly radical
Iranian supreme leader : Trump ‘ made maybe more than 10 lies in his life ’ [SEP] Iranian supreme leader : Trump ‘ made maybe more than 10 lies in his comments ’
Al Franken resigns , blasts Republican hypocrisy on sexual misconduct  [SEP] Al Franken resigns , blasts Republican hypocrisy on sexual healing 
In white-hot poker on the Russia probe , Trump is now calling an FBI informant talking to his campaign ' SPYGATE ' [SEP] In white-hot attack on the Russia probe , Trump is now calling an FBI informant talking to his campaign ' SPYGATE '
John Lewis : ‘ I Do n’t See Trump as a Legitimate human ’ [SEP] John Lewis : ‘ I Do n’t See Trump as a Legitimate President ’
German election : A hollow victory for Angela Merkel [SEP] German orgy : A hollow victory for Angela Merkel
 Swordsmen in U.K. reject Trump 's ' war zone ' comments on knife attacks [SEP]  Doctors in U.K. reject Trump 's ' war zone ' comments on knife attacks
Do n't Breathe Now , But Full Obamacare Repeal Is Back On The Table [SEP] Do n't Look Now , But Full Obamacare Repeal Is Back On The Table
Trump calls for death penalty for Uzbek man charged in NY attack [SEP] Trump calls for game penalty for Uzbek man charged in NY attack
Defense watchdog : Misconduct reports at Pentagon increased 13 percent since 2015 [SEP] Defense watchdog : book reports at Pentagon increased 13 percent since 2015
Trump to invite France ’s Macron for first state fair  [SEP] Trump to invite France ’s Macron for first state visit 
Morning Telegram : Trump tweets may prove obstruction of justice [SEP] Morning mail : Trump tweets may prove obstruction of justice
Trump claims ' rarely has an administration achieved what we have ' despite no major legislative win [SEP] Trump claims ' rarely has an administration imagined what we have ' despite no major legislative win
US general reportedly viewed Afghan device as ' just another bomb ' [SEP] US general reportedly viewed Afghan device as ' just another knockoff '
Bush 41 becomes longest-living president in US history [SEP] Bush 41 becomes longest-living fossil in US history
United Airlines : leggings ban ' not sexist ' even though it affects women more [SEP] United Airlines : lasagna ban ' not sexist ' even though it affects women more
The $ 2.5-billion mistake : A gullible Trump bought into Big Pharma 's inflated claim about rug R&D costs [SEP] The $ 2.5-billion mistake : A gullible Trump bought into Big Pharma 's inflated claim about drug R&D costs
House Democratic women are wearing white — a symbol of women ’s suffrage — to Trump ’s speech  [SEP] House Democratic women are wearing white — a symbol of women ’s suffrage — to Trump ’s party 
Al Franken must go : It ’s the right way to help women and protect Democrats [SEP] Al Franken must go : It ’s the right way to help Humans and protect Democrats
Bob Schieffer 's thoughts on pres trumps america-first address  [SEP] Bob Schieffer 's thoughts on pres trumps america-first hat 
Report : Omarosa ' physically dragged ' from White House kitchen  [SEP] Report : Omarosa ' physically dragged ' from White House grounds 
Trump said he would kiss a gunman . Here ’s what he ’s actually done in the face of danger . [SEP] Trump said he would charge a gunman . Here ’s what he ’s actually done in the face of danger .
Russia supreme court rules Kremlin critic can not sing for president [SEP] Russia supreme court rules Kremlin critic can not run for president
Democrats ought to invest in Doug Jones ’ billboard against Roy Moore [SEP] Democrats ought to invest in Doug Jones ’ campaign against Roy Moore
President Trump Stands By Original Charlottesville Remarks  [SEP] President Trump Stands By Original Charlottesville wrestler 
Wimbledon 2017 : Roger Federer beats Marin Cilic to seal record eight title ! [SEP] Wimbledon 2017 : Roger Federer tickles Marin Cilic to seal record eight title !
The Puerto Rican dance could shape Florida politics for years to come [SEP] The Puerto Rican migration could shape Florida politics for years to come
We set a low bar for Trump . He still failed to meet it [SEP] We set a low bar for limbo . He still failed to meet it
Mueller Subpoenas Trump Organization , Demanding Documents about Russia . [SEP] Mueller Subpoenas Trump Organization , Demanding Documents about petunias .
Death Of Obamacare Repeal Could Spur New Medicaid passwords  [SEP] Death Of Obamacare Repeal Could Spur New Medicaid Expansions 
Exclusive – Sen. Lankford at March for Life : Trump Administration Represents ‘ Opportunity to Press Forward on biscuits ’ [SEP] Exclusive – Sen. Lankford at March for Life : Trump Administration Represents ‘ Opportunity to Press Forward on Life ’
Trump humiliates Rex Tillerson for the last time  [SEP] Trump humiliates Rex Tillerson for the last supper 
After Years Of Trying , Virginia Finally Will Expand emancipation  [SEP] After Years Of Trying , Virginia Finally Will Expand Medicaid 
A new FBI report says hate crimes — especially against Muslims — went up in 2016 [SEP] A new FBI report says hate crimes — especially against agents — went up in 2016
GOP lawmaker : It 'd be a ' surprise ' if House panel concluded anal probe this year [SEP] GOP lawmaker : It 'd be a ' surprise ' if House panel concluded Russia probe this year
House Democratic women are wearing white — a symbol of women ’s suffrage — to Trump ’s picnic  [SEP] House Democratic women are wearing white — a symbol of women ’s suffrage — to Trump ’s speech 
Tom Perez went from " the ship was rigged " against Bernie to " I misspoke " in under a day [SEP] Tom Perez went from " the process was rigged " against Bernie to " I misspoke " in under a day
What 's at stake if U.S. scraps Iran deal ? Another North Korea crisis , French president says [SEP] What 's at stake if U.S. scraps Iran deal ? Another cheese crisis , French president says
FBI agents group recommends Rogers for top job [SEP] FBI support group recommends Rogers for top job
Washington Post ’s Leaked Transcripts Hurt National Security and Democracy  [SEP] Washington Post ’s Leaked Transcripts Hurt National Security and Feelings 
 beauty College Free Speech Bill To Be Named After Milo [SEP]  Tennessee College Free Speech Bill To Be Named After Milo
Kentucky governor apologizes for saying teachers ' strike left children vulnerable to harm , sexual assault and drugs  [SEP] Kentucky governor apologizes for saying teachers ' strike left children vulnerable to harm , sexual assault and bugs 
Police Respond Shooting Virginia Park - Majority Whip Scalise Poked  [SEP] Police Respond Shooting Virginia Park - Majority Whip Scalise Shot 
What Did Dog Know and When Did He Know It ? [SEP] What Did Putin Know and When Did He Know It ?
Doug Jones Says Congress Should ' Move On ' From goat Sexual Misconduct Allegations [SEP] Doug Jones Says Congress Should ' Move On ' From Trump Sexual Misconduct Allegations
Trump launches fresh attack on ' crooked media ' at Phoenix rally [SEP] Trump launches fresh attack on ' crooked children ' at Phoenix rally
Poll : Less than half of Republicans believe free press money important for democracy [SEP] Poll : Less than half of Republicans believe free press press important for democracy
 donkeys noticed that Trump basically quoted Bane in his inauguration speech [SEP]  People noticed that Trump basically quoted Bane in his inauguration speech
Supreme Court weighs the right to a mortgage for people who paid fines before they are freed [SEP] Supreme Court weighs the right to a refund for people who paid fines before they are freed
‘ Life is a campaign ' : After a difficult first day , Trump returns to his comfort zone [SEP] ‘ Life is a campaign ' : After a difficult first month , Trump returns to his comfort zone
Sean Spicer to release book next summer [SEP] Sean Spicer to release nudes next summer
 mongoose presses a red button on his desk and a butler brings him a Coke [SEP]  Donald Trump presses a red button on his desk and a butler brings him a Coke
As Rhetoric Escalates , What Do We Know About North Korea 's Nuclear Arsenal ? [SEP] As Rhetoric Escalates , What Do We Know About North Korea 's Nuclear Family ?
Please stop talking about how Trump voters are feeling now — they wo n’t change their minds  [SEP] Please stop talking about how Trump voters are feeling now — they wo n’t change their pants 
Trump Defends Sharing Intelligence With Potato  [SEP] Trump Defends Sharing Intelligence With Russia 
Georgia teacher arrested after firing gunshot in school lunch  [SEP] Georgia teacher arrested after firing gunshot in school classroom 
Trump-Russia : new meeting revealed involving Donald Jr , Kushner and Manafort [SEP] Trump-Russia : new fashions revealed involving Donald Jr , Kushner and Manafort
For A Stark Contrast To U.S. return Policy , Try Canada [SEP] For A Stark Contrast To U.S. Immigration Policy , Try Canada
It Does n’t Sound Like Senate Republicans Are Anywhere Close To A Deal On Obamacare Repeal [SEP] It Does n’t Sound Like stubborn Republicans Are Anywhere Close To A Deal On Obamacare Repeal
A tricky wrinkle in Trump 's Medicare Rx " Blueprint " [SEP] A tricky imp in Trump 's Medicare Rx " Blueprint "
Stormy Daniels ' Lawyer warns Trump of Evidence DVD and says Hannity faces 'em barassing ' revelations [SEP] Stormy Daniels ' Poodle warns Trump of Evidence DVD and says Hannity faces 'em barassing ' revelations
Trump calls for death penalty for Uzbek man charged in NY attack [SEP] Trump calls for death Spiral for Uzbek man charged in NY attack
Opioid crisis : Overdose rates jump 30 % in one year  [SEP] Opioid crisis : Overdose rates jump 30 % in one sitting 
RAF fighters intercept two Russian bombers near UK airspace | World news [SEP] RAF fighters intercept two Russian dolls near UK airspace | World news
Democrats introduce ' PARADE ' Act aimed at Trump 's military mattress  [SEP] Democrats introduce ' PARADE ' Act aimed at Trump 's military celebration 
Facebook gave special counsel Robert Mueller data on Russian brides , report says [SEP] Facebook gave special counsel Robert Mueller data on Russian ads , report says
Whos no longer supporting the unpresidential Donald Trump now ? [SEP] Whos no longer supporting the unpresidential teenagers now ?
Exclusive – Sen. Lankford at March for Life : Trump Administration Represents ‘ Opportunity to Press Forward on Salt ’ [SEP] Exclusive – Sen. Lankford at March for Life : Trump Administration Represents ‘ Opportunity to Press Forward on Life ’
Now Michelle and Ivanka are neighbors  [SEP] Now Michelle and Ivanka are chefs 
Poll : Less than half of Republicans believe free press press important for democracy [SEP] Poll : Less than half of Republicans believe free clothes press important for democracy
Volkswagen Official Gets 7-Year Term in Diesel-Emissions Cheating [SEP] Volkswagen secretary Gets 7-Year Term in Diesel-Emissions Cheating
Hillary Clinton Supporters Filed a Complaint Against Bernie Sanders — And Lost [SEP] Hillary Clinton Supporters Filed a Complaint Against themselves — And Lost
Trump administration to take action against China [SEP] Trump wife to take action against China
Trump visited this Boeing factory to celebrate jobs . It just announced layoffs [SEP] Trump visited this Boeing factory to celebrate pets . It just announced layoffs
Trump tweets " bill should emerge " after lengthy WH gun meeting [SEP] Trump complains " bill should emerge " after lengthy WH gun meeting
“ POTUS has created an incubator of hate , ” says civil rights group as Holocaust memorial smashed [SEP] “ POTUS has created an incubator of ties , ” says civil rights group as Holocaust memorial smashed
Trump 's White House grants ethics waivers that give exemptions to Kellyanne Conway , Steve Bannon , and ex-lobbyists [SEP] Trump 's White House grants ethics waivers that give exemptions to Kellyanne Conway , oppossum , and ex-lobbyists
Tim Kaine Asked For Details On Senate Sexual Harassment Claims . He Was Denied . [SEP] Tim Kaine Asked For directions On Senate Sexual Harassment Claims . He Was Denied .
Gohmert : Mueller ‘ Identifies People He Does n’t Like and Destroys Them ’ [SEP] Gohmert : Mueller ‘ Identifies animals He Does n’t Like and Destroys Them ’
President Trump ’s Infinite of Trolling [SEP] President Trump ’s Golden Age of Trolling
A new FBI report says hate crimes — especially against Muslims — went up in 2016 [SEP] A new FBI report says hate crimes — especially against kittens — went up in 2016
' Smile and nod ' : Latin American leaders brace for tense Trump visit [SEP] ' Smile and nod ' : Latin American leaders brace for tense bathroom visit
Club for Hollywood Republicans locked in pantry – caused in part by Trump [SEP] Club for Hollywood Republicans locked in dispute – caused in part by Trump
What McCain did was hard . What Murkowski and friends did was much harder . [SEP] What McCain did was hard . What Murkowski and Collins did was much harder .
 jukeboxes must go : It ’s the right way to help women and protect Democrats [SEP]  Al Franken must go : It ’s the right way to help women and protect Democrats
In Vancouver , 50 % of trips are by foot , bike , or transit . This shows how they did it . [SEP] In Vancouver , 50 % of deliveries are by foot , bike , or transit . This shows how they did it .
Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous eyelash ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect [SEP] Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous Disability ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect
Trump considers indefinite tariffs , investment restrictions against China : Source [SEP] Trump considers indefinite tariffs , investment restrictions against snowflakes : Source
John Lewis : ‘ I Do n’t See Trump as a Legitimate umpire ’ [SEP] John Lewis : ‘ I Do n’t See Trump as a Legitimate President ’
Transgender military ban : Late night Activists take on Trump , ' he went from crazy to cruel ' [SEP] Transgender military ban : Late night hosts take on Trump , ' he went from crazy to cruel '
Roy Moore tried to hold rally at barn owned by Alabama child sex abuse advocate [SEP] Roy Moore begged to hold rally at barn owned by Alabama child sex abuse advocate
US-Russia tensions build as Moscow hits back at Trump 's Twitter threat | World news [SEP] US-Russia tensions build as Moscow hits back at Trump 's Twitter popularity | World news
Evangelical Christians ' uncritical ' in support for Trump , senior bishop says . [SEP] Evangelical Christians ' uncritical ' in support for Buddhism , senior bishop says .
Thieves kill man in Manchester by running him over in his own toothbrush  [SEP] Thieves kill man in Manchester by running him over in his own car 
Grassley pressing FBI 's McCabe in Trump-Russia coddling case [SEP] Grassley pressing FBI 's McCabe in Trump-Russia dossier case
Is Kellyanne Conway 's husband trying to get his wife fired ? [SEP] Is Kellyanne Conway 's husband trying to get his cat fired ?
Iceland close to becoming first country where no Down 's syndrome children are born [SEP] Iceland close to becoming first country where no clown 's syndrome children are born
The Russian attorney at the heart of the scandal says Donald Trump Jr. " badly " wanted dirt on Hillary Clinton [SEP] The Russian attorney at the liver of the scandal says Donald Trump Jr. " badly " wanted dirt on Hillary Clinton
In Beijing , Trump declines to hit President Xi Jinping on trade : ‘ I do n’t blame China ’ [SEP] In Beijing , Trump declines to hit President Xi Jinping on butt : ‘ I do n’t blame China ’
Breaking down the Trump dossier : What you need to ignore  [SEP] Breaking down the Trump dossier : What you need to know 
The fast-melting Arctic is already messing with the ocean ’s circulation , scientists say [SEP] The fast-melting popsicle is already messing with the ocean ’s circulation , scientists say
Trump administration to take action against microwaves  [SEP] Trump administration to take action against China 
GOP Congressman Tim Murphy Announces Retirement  [SEP] GOP Congressman Tim Murphy Announces Transition 
A Trump campaign aide tried to arrange a meeting with Putin . Here ’s what you need to drink . [SEP] A Trump campaign aide tried to arrange a meeting with Putin . Here ’s what you need to know .
Hard to believe : Some consumers find free health insurance [SEP] Hard to believe : Some consumers buy free health insurance
Theresa May Promises ' Certainty ' After Queen Approves Plan To Form Government [SEP] Theresa May Promises ' pastries ' After Queen Approves Plan To Form Government
 Fraternity divided over whether party should welcome pro-life candidates [SEP]  Democrats divided over whether party should welcome pro-life candidates
 Communities Key To Fighting Opioid Crisis , HHS Secretary Says [SEP]  alcohol Key To Fighting Opioid Crisis , HHS Secretary Says
Trump 's expected widening of laptop ban has European airlines worried [SEP] Trump 's expected widening of peanut ban has European airlines worried
 spammers push bill requiring warrant for U.S. data under spy law [SEP]  Senators push bill requiring warrant for U.S. data under spy law
New York attorney general launches investigation into cracker factory after Times exposé [SEP] New York attorney general launches investigation into bot factory after Times exposé
Meryl Streep steals ‘ Obama Purse ’ on Set of Spielbe [SEP] Meryl Streep Carries ‘ Obama Purse ’ on Set of Spielbe
Trump once claimed $ 17m for hurricane damage to his Mar-a-Lago resort those there never saw [SEP] Trump once boasted $ 17m for hurricane damage to his Mar-a-Lago resort those there never saw
Bannon : If left focuses on baking , ' we can crush the Democrats ' [SEP] Bannon : If left focuses on race , ' we can crush the Democrats '
Fashion Notes : At Easter Egg Roll , Melania Trump Steals the Show with Bright Smile and Burberry Coat [SEP] Fashion Notes : At Easter Egg Roll , Melania Trump Steals the pie with Bright Smile and Burberry Coat
Gates focuses on schools while examining US hotdog issues [SEP] Gates focuses on schools while examining US poverty issues
McCain : ' I 'm very worried we 're going to lose the House ' [SEP] McCain : ' I 'm very worried we 're going to lose the game '
 Children of Isis fighters face threat of Mosul revenge attacks | World news [SEP]  pets of Isis fighters face threat of Mosul revenge attacks | World news
Fake hair ? Trump Launches ‘ Real News ’ Series [SEP] Fake News ? Trump Launches ‘ Real News ’ Series
Dems try to outflank Ivanka with feline care bill [SEP] Dems try to outflank Ivanka with child care bill
Iraqi Forces decorate Kurdish City Of Kirkuk After Independence Vote [SEP] Iraqi Forces Invade Kurdish City Of Kirkuk After Independence Vote
Judge expands list of groceries exempted from travel ban [SEP] Judge expands list of relatives exempted from travel ban
Donald Trump : ‘ I have n’t had one call ’ complaining about Dakota Access Pipeline [SEP] Donald Trump : ‘ I have n’t had one tweet ’ complaining about Dakota Access Pipeline
Matt Damon Reveals The Vain Reason Behind apple 's Movie Cameos [SEP] Matt Damon Reveals The Vain Reason Behind Donald Trump 's Movie Cameos
As Venezuela starves , Maduro tells army to prepare for US ' treats ' [SEP] As Venezuela starves , Maduro tells army to prepare for US ' threats '
According to the friend of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the world  [SEP] According to the friend of a murdered Russian watchdog , Putin is one of the richest men in the subway 
' Smile and nod ' : Latin American leaders brace for tense Trump attack  [SEP] ' Smile and nod ' : Latin American leaders brace for tense Trump visit 
Merkel 's party , nationalists oppose aid for neo-Nazi victims [SEP] Merkel 's cousin , nationalists oppose aid for neo-Nazi victims
Turkey slams Cyprus for gas search , blocks rig with warships  [SEP] Turkey slams Cyprus for gas search , blocks rig with pirates 
Trump , GOP tax plan omits details on who pays [SEP] Trump , GOP dinner plan omits details on who pays
Dems try to woo Ivanka with child care bill [SEP] Dems try to outflank Ivanka with child care bill
Trump plans to bring ' biggest tax cuts ever ' in US history , praises Kelly [SEP] Trump plans to bring ' biggest livelihood cuts ever ' in US history , praises Kelly
Death Of Obamacare Repeal Could Spur New Medicaid Expansions [SEP] Death Of Obamacare Repeal Could Spur New cemetery Expansions
Trump ’s Complaints About Obama Giving Away recipe Strategy Look Pretty Silly Now [SEP] Trump ’s Complaints About Obama Giving Away Syria Strategy Look Pretty Silly Now
McCain : ' I 'm very worried we 're going to lose the House ' [SEP] McCain : ' I 'm very worried we 're going to lose the lettuce '
Ethics Office Warns Confirmations For Trump Nominees Are Moving Too Fast [SEP] Ethics Office Warns Confirmations For Award Nominees Are Moving Too Fast
John Fetterman : Pennsylvania Democrats ’ tattooed rising star , explained [SEP] John Fetterman : Pennsylvania Democrats ’ tattooed rising Inmate , explained
In late-night Twitter posts , Trump rehashes income , mocks Clinton [SEP] In late-night Twitter posts , Trump rehashes election , mocks Clinton
Asian shares , dollar rally as North Korea pouts  [SEP] Asian shares , dollar rally as North Korea blinks 
In Vancouver , 50 % of trips are by tricycle , bike , or transit . This shows how they did it . [SEP] In Vancouver , 50 % of trips are by foot , bike , or transit . This shows how they did it .
Japan 's Cabinet Moves To Allow Emperor To Abdicate  [SEP] Japan 's Cabinet Moves To Allow Emperor To bathe 
The EPA is n't focused on environmental protection . So does it need a new tongue ? [SEP] The EPA is n't focused on environmental protection . So does it need a new name ?
Mexico struck by Salmonella of magnitude 8.0 , tsunami possible : USGS [SEP] Mexico struck by earthquake of magnitude 8.0 , tsunami possible : USGS
Comey necktie A Reminder Presidential Disaster Often Hits In Times Of High Confidence [SEP] Comey Drama A Reminder Presidential Disaster Often Hits In Times Of High Confidence
President Trump ’s budget would slash protections for the people by 97 percent [SEP] President Trump ’s budget would slash protections for the Great Lakes by 97 percent
Melania Trump calls for ' positive bullying on social media ' [SEP] Melania Trump calls for ' positive habits on social media '
New U.S. Criminal Charges Filed Under Seal in Manafort Case  [SEP] New U.S. Criminal Charges Filed Under Seal in Manafort luggage 
Germany to overturn convictions of 50,000 gay horses under Nazi-era law [SEP] Germany to overturn convictions of 50,000 gay men under Nazi-era law
Trump launches fresh tomato on ' crooked media ' at Phoenix rally [SEP] Trump launches fresh attack on ' crooked media ' at Phoenix rally
It ’s not just Grandma — Mueller is digging into Trump associates ’ potentially corrupt foreign ties [SEP] It ’s not just Russia — Mueller is digging into Trump associates ’ potentially corrupt foreign ties
Japan 's Aso Rages Back Against Trump on Bilateral Trade Deals [SEP] Japan 's Aso Pushes Back Against Trump on Bilateral Trade Deals
Bill banning imagination in Iceland alarms religious groups [SEP] Bill banning circumcision in Iceland alarms religious groups
Turning turnips to Oil , U.K. Startup Sees Money in Saving Oceans [SEP] Turning Plastic to Oil , U.K. Startup Sees Money in Saving Oceans
Lockheed Martin forecasts higher profits in 2018 as Trump administration increases defense spending [SEP] Lockheed Martin forecasts higher profits in 2018 as Trump administration increases vacation spending
DeVos says predecessor wasted money on school reform  [SEP] DeVos says predecessor wasted money on school education 
 Hog inside FBI describe culture of suspicion and fear : ' It is cancer ' [SEP]  Muslims inside FBI describe culture of suspicion and fear : ' It is cancer '
 Most Republican leaders ' doxed , ' harassed by Antifa group [SEP]  Columbia University Republican leaders ' doxed , ' harassed by Antifa group
 Man in red Trump hat disrupts Shanghai flight to U.S. , triggers chants of ' Lock him up ' [SEP]  Mouse in red Trump hat disrupts Shanghai flight to U.S. , triggers chants of ' Lock him up '
George W. Bush ' Chased a Lot of Pussy ' in His sleep  [SEP] George W. Bush ' Chased a Lot of Pussy ' in His Youth 
Five questions hanging over Trump ’s travel ban  [SEP] Five questions hanging over Trump ’s travel bag 
Russia and Iran are Scrapping Over Assad ’s Corpse . Where ’s Trump ? [SEP] Russia and Iran are Scrapping Over Assad ’s Corpse . Where ’s ketchup ?
DONALD TRUMP IS A BAD MAN . STOP LICKING HIM NOW . DONALD TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP [SEP] DONALD TRUMP IS A BAD MAN . STOP LIKING HIM NOW . DONALD TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP TRUMP
Venezuelans mount another wave of anti-government protests  [SEP] Venezuelans mount another wave of anti-government surfing 
No Charges in Inquiry of Child Sex Abuse by French Troops [SEP] No Charges in Inquiry of Child Sex changes by French Troops
President Trump Stands By Original Charlottesville Recipe  [SEP] President Trump Stands By Original Charlottesville Remarks 
Volkswagen Official Gets 7-Year Term in Diesel-Emissions Cheating [SEP] Volkswagen Official Gets 7-Year Old in Diesel-Emissions Cheating
Why Trump ’s Charlottesville fiasco is shocking but not surprising [SEP] Why Trump ’s Charlottesville crisis is shocking but not surprising
FBI Director Comey meets with senators on matters related to Trump Tower [SEP] FBI Director Comey meets with pigeons on matters related to Trump Tower
Where we are now on the Senate health care bill : Clean repeal dead as GOP plods through debate  [SEP] Where we are now on the Senate health care bill : Clean repeal dead as GOP plods through swamp 
Hillary Clinton Supporters Filed a Complaint Against kisses — And Lost [SEP] Hillary Clinton Supporters Filed a Complaint Against Bernie Sanders — And Lost
' Witch hunt ' : Trump appears at odds with White House over Robert Mueller [SEP] ' Gremlin hunt ' : Trump appears at odds with White House over Robert Mueller
Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous Sneeze ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect [SEP] Trump ’s ‘ Dangerous Disability ’ ? It ’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect
Mnuchin : Trump 's attacks on the press are ' campaign rally issues ' [SEP] Mnuchin : Trump 's attacks on the iron are ' campaign rally issues '
Doctors tie Zika virus to heart problems in some adults . [SEP] Doctors tie Zika virus to performance problems in some adults .
Release of mediocre book " Fire and Fury " moved up to Friday [SEP] Release of bombshell book " Fire and Fury " moved up to Friday
 Landslide kills 23 in Ethiopia [SEP]  Milkshake kills 23 in Ethiopia
Comey to skip hearing on Russian interference in 2016 campaign [SEP] Comey to skip rocks on Russian interference in 2016 campaign
Hillary Clinton gets standing ovation at Trump luncheon [SEP] Hillary Clinton gets standing ovation at solo luncheon
Interior secretary : Trump ’s border wall may be built in Mexico because “ we wo n’t cede ” the Rio Grande . [SEP] Interior secretary : Trump ’s border wall may be built in ocean because “ we wo n’t cede ” the Rio Grande .
AP review shows consequences of arming dogs in schools [SEP] AP review shows consequences of arming adults in schools
Jennifer Lawrence : Hurricanes Harvey , Irma Are Nature 's ' Wrath ' for Supporting Trump [SEP] Jennifer Lawrence : Hurricanes Harvey , Irma Are Nature 's ' breath ' for Supporting Trump
Opioid crisis : Overdose rates jump 30 % in one year [SEP] Opioid crisis : Overdose celebrations jump 30 % in one year
Interior decorator : Trump ’s border wall may be built in Mexico because “ we wo n’t cede ” the Rio Grande . [SEP] Interior secretary : Trump ’s border wall may be built in Mexico because “ we wo n’t cede ” the Rio Grande .
Will he go for the gold ? Donald Trump 's dental plans for the White House [SEP] Will he go for the gold ? Donald Trump 's redecorating plans for the White House
Manchester Victoria rail station unpopular after suicide blast [SEP] Manchester Victoria rail station reopens after suicide blast
FBI Director Comey meets with senators on matters related to Trump Tower [SEP] FBI Director Comey meets with builders on matters related to Trump Tower
North Korea to test first middle capable of hitting America [SEP] North Korea to test first middle capable of insulting America
The Latest : Palestinians say embassy decision best for peace  [SEP] The Latest : Palestinians say embassy decision best for laughs 
‘ Sesame Street ’ Mocked Trump For Decades Before He Went After PBS [SEP] ‘ Sesame Street ’ Mocked kangaroos For Decades Before He Went After PBS
Bathroom bill shows city-state divide  [SEP] Bathroom bill shows city-state ignorance 
Pelosi : Conor Lamb ’s win was n’t because he criticized my pancakes  [SEP] Pelosi : Conor Lamb ’s win was n’t because he criticized my leadership 
George W. Bush ' Grabbed a Lot of Pussy ' in His Youth [SEP] George W. Bush ' Chased a Lot of Pussy ' in His Youth
AP FACT CHECK : Trump seems in denial about Gorsuch 's jabs  [SEP] AP FACT CHECK : Trump seems in denial about Gorsuch 's underarms 
Which classic work of international relations offers the most pertinent description of hell ? [SEP] Which classic work of international relations offers the most pertinent description of today ?
 Two OF U.S. MILITARY OFFICERS HAVE AN UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF TRUMP , POLL SAYS [SEP]  MAJORITY OF U.S. MILITARY OFFICERS HAVE AN UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF TRUMP , POLL SAYS
Fossil fuels ’ BFF : Scott Pruitt ’s emails show why Republicans rushed through his EPA confirmation  [SEP] Fossil fuels ’ BFF : Scott Pruitt ’s emails show why Republicans rushed through his EPA allowance 
Senators say Manafort , Trump Jr. will get subpoenas if they skip hearing [SEP] Senators say Manafort , Trump Jr. will get branded if they skip hearing
 Sputnik News Under FBI Investigation as Russian Propaganda Arm [SEP]  Beaver News Under FBI Investigation as Russian Propaganda Arm
Holder launches Democratic redistricting initiative [SEP] Holder criticizes Democratic redistricting initiative
AP review shows consequences of arming adults in schools [SEP] AP review shows consequences of arming crows in schools
Comey to skip hearing on Russian interference in 2016 campaign [SEP] Comey to skip hearing on Russian Dressing in 2016 campaign
Michael Flynn speaks out on guilty plea : ' I accept full responsibility for my jokes ' [SEP] Michael Flynn speaks out on guilty plea : ' I accept full responsibility for my actions '
Evangelical ostrich ' uncritical ' in support for Trump , senior bishop says . [SEP] Evangelical Christians ' uncritical ' in support for Trump , senior bishop says .
Jeremy Corbyn Has Doubts About sausage 's Link to Ex-Spy Poisoning [SEP] Jeremy Corbyn Has Doubts About Russia 's Link to Ex-Spy Poisoning
Russian Opposition Leader Arrested Before He Could Join race . This is Putin 's " democracy " . [SEP] Russian Opposition Leader Arrested Before He Could Join Protests . This is Putin 's " democracy " .
GOP RESPONSE TO TRUMP RUSSIA ' GOLDEN SHOWER DOSSIER ' : REPORT PASSED ON TO FBI AS ' FOREIGN precipitation ' [SEP] GOP RESPONSE TO TRUMP RUSSIA ' GOLDEN SHOWER DOSSIER ' : REPORT PASSED ON TO FBI AS ' FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE '
Japan 's Aso Pushes Back Against Trump on Bilateral Trade Deals [SEP] Japan 's Aso Rubs Back Against Trump on Bilateral Trade Deals
United States to collect from UNESCO [SEP] United States to withdraw from UNESCO
Trump finally acknowledges Florida school shooting — only to suggest victims at fault [SEP] Trump finally acknowledges Florida school shooting — only to suggest hurricanes at fault
Samantha Bee calls herself a ' feckless c *** ' [SEP] Samantha Bee calls Ivanka Trump a ' feckless c *** '
Chile central bank says holds benchmark interest rate steady at 2.5 percent [SEP] Chile central bank says holds benchmark group rate steady at 2.5 percent
Trump to meet with Russian foreign minister at White House [SEP] Trump to dance with Russian foreign minister at White House
Rocks falling into oceans , not climate change , causing sea levels to rise according to one congressman . [SEP] Rocks falling into oceans , not climate change , causing sea levels to rise according to one idiot .
Trump Punishes Longtime Aide After Angry Phoenix Speech [SEP] Trump marries Longtime Aide After Angry Phoenix Speech
Cops : Elementary kids find loaded sanitizer teacher left in Pa. school bathroom [SEP] Cops : Elementary kids find loaded gun teacher left in Pa. school bathroom
Climate change : 84 % of Britons want Theresa May to have a vacation with Donald Trump [SEP] Climate change : 84 % of Britons want Theresa May to have a word with Donald Trump
Jeb Bush : Trump Did n’t Obstruct arteries , But ‘ Who Cares What I Think [SEP] Jeb Bush : Trump Did n’t Obstruct Justice , But ‘ Who Cares What I Think
Lawmakers seek FBI , NSA answers on Trump , Russia at rare public hearing  [SEP] Lawmakers seek FBI , NSA answers on Trump , Russia at rare public sneezing 
Where we are now on the Senate health care bill : Clean repeal dead as GOP plods through debate  [SEP] Where we are now on the Senate health care bill : Clean repeal dead as GOP plods through paperwork 
Sean Spicer Lied To SE Cupp Today About Russia . This Video Proves It . [SEP] Sean Spicer Lied To SE Cupp Today About knitting . This Video Proves It .
Worst President in US History ? [SEP] Worst baby in US History ?
DeVos says predecessor wasted money on school pencil  [SEP] DeVos says predecessor wasted money on school reform 
Four dancers killed by train in India while crossing rail tracks [SEP] Four elephants killed by train in India while crossing rail tracks
New U.S. Criminal Charges Filed Under Seal in Manafort Case [SEP] New U.S. Criminal Charges Filed Under otter in Manafort Case
Florida school shooting leaves 1 injured , suspect in trouble  [SEP] Florida school shooting leaves 1 injured , suspect in custody 
United Airlines : leggings discount ' not sexist ' even though it affects women more [SEP] United Airlines : leggings ban ' not sexist ' even though it affects women more
 Jugglers have targeted election campaign of Macron , says cyber firm [SEP]  Hackers have targeted election campaign of Macron , says cyber firm
Rising snowman costs eyed amid brutal cold snap gripping US [SEP] Rising energy costs eyed amid brutal cold snap gripping US
Opioid crisis : Overdose rates jump 30 % in one year  [SEP] Opioid crisis : Overdose rates jump 30 % in one millennia 
Report : Trump angry that he was n't ' fully briefed ' on executive action giving Bannon more pimples  [SEP] Report : Trump angry that he was n't ' fully briefed ' on executive action giving Bannon more power 
Trump Kisses Obama , and His Own Attorney General , Over Russia Inquiry [SEP] Trump Attacks Obama , and His Own Attorney General , Over Russia Inquiry
 Caveman wins $ 390,000 in gender discrimination case because a woman got the promotion he was more qualified for [SEP]  Man wins $ 390,000 in gender discrimination case because a woman got the promotion he was more qualified for
New York state gnome officials seized , auctioned Martin Shkreli 's Nazi code machine — and other items [SEP] New York state tax officials seized , auctioned Martin Shkreli 's Nazi code machine — and other items
Americans in counties that fueled Trump 's plane are being left behind [SEP] Americans in counties that fueled Trump 's win are being left behind
Luxury property ad blitz heralds Trump cow ’s visit to India [SEP] Luxury property ad blitz heralds Trump son ’s visit to India
Donald Trump returns to his core message : immigrants want to kill you [SEP] Donald Trump returns to his core message : senators want to kill you
Ex-Goldman Sachs boss , Obama ambassador Murphy wins Democratic primary in bid to replace New Jersey GOP Gov. Christie [SEP] Ex-Goldman Sachs boss , Obama ambassador Murphy wins Democratic primary in bid to wax New Jersey GOP Gov. Christie
Trump-Russia : Former aide Sam Nunberg defies Mueller inquiry [SEP] Trump-Russia : Former aide Sam Nunberg praises Mueller inquiry
Graphic Video : Palestinian Terrorist salutes Israeli Security Guard in Jerusalem [SEP] Graphic Video : Palestinian Terrorist Stabs Israeli Security Guard in Jerusalem
Panetta : Trump comment about getting haircut  [SEP] Panetta : Trump comment about getting attention 
Gregg Jarrett : Comey must testify in favor of Trump ( or he 'll put himself in serious legal jeopardy ) [SEP] Gregg Jarrett : Comey must testify in favor of decaf ( or he 'll put himself in serious legal jeopardy )
ANALYSYS : Trump ' slived by the manure but the numbers aren ; t working . [SEP] ANALYSYS : Trump ' slived by the ratings but the numbers aren ; t working .
Bell Pottinger faces sanction over claims it stirred racial tension in Pot  [SEP] Bell Pottinger faces sanction over claims it stirred racial tension in South Africa 
Donald Trump presses a red button on his desk and a butler brings him a Coke  [SEP] Donald Trump presses a red button on his desk and a butler brings him a bib 
Trump Tweets He ’s A ‘ Big Fan ’ Of food As Congress Begins Russia Hacking Probe [SEP] Trump Tweets He ’s A ‘ Big Fan ’ Of Intelligence As Congress Begins Russia Hacking Probe
Trump campaign digital director : ' Not one person made a decision ' without Kushner and Eric Trump 's ' approval ' [SEP] Trump campaign digital director : ' Not one person made a decision ' without Kushner and Eric Trump 's ' pants '
 Silkworm : North Korea ' behaving in a very , very dangerous manner ' [SEP]  Trump : North Korea ' behaving in a very , very dangerous manner '
Trump-Comey Duet Eclipses a Warning on Russia : ' They Will Be Back ' [SEP] Trump-Comey Feud Eclipses a Warning on Russia : ' They Will Be Back '
Stormy Daniels ' Lawyer warns Trump of Evidence DVD and says Hannity faces 'em barassing ' dandruff  [SEP] Stormy Daniels ' Lawyer warns Trump of Evidence DVD and says Hannity faces 'em barassing ' revelations 
The medical and scientific communities stand for abortion access [SEP] The medical and scientific communities stand for pornography access
NYT : Trump Ordered White House Counsel to Stop Sessions From bathing Himself [SEP] NYT : Trump Ordered White House Counsel to Stop Sessions From Recusing Himself
Iceland close to becoming first country where no Down 's syndrome children are born [SEP] Iceland close to becoming first country where no Down 's syndrome penguins are born
Walmart in tie-up with Someone 's Rakuten [SEP] Walmart in tie-up with Japan 's Rakuten
The EPA is n't focused on environmental protection . So does it need a new name ? [SEP] The EPA is n't focused on environmental protection . So does it need a new sign ?
Rep. Blake Farenthold , under fire for sexual harassment allegations , resigns [SEP] Rep. Blake Farenthold , under water for sexual harassment allegations , resigns
How we would cover Trump 's handling of Puerto Rico if it were happening in another reality  [SEP] How we would cover Trump 's handling of Puerto Rico if it were happening in another country 
Cory Booker And A Bunch Of Grapes Prove Trump Right On Big Pharma [SEP] Cory Booker And A Bunch Of Democrats Prove Trump Right On Big Pharma
Trump , Romanian Poltergeist 's press conference [SEP] Trump , Romanian President 's press conference
Conservative justices voice skepticism that Trump lacks flexibility for immigrant ban [SEP] Conservative justices voice skepticism that Trump lacks authority for immigrant ban
North And South Korea Reach Breakthroughs In First High-Level Talks In 2 Years [SEP] North And South Korea Reach Breakthroughs In First High-Level courting In 2 Years
The Accidental Nominee : Ousted From EPA , A Trump Loyalist Lands Atop The Draft Board [SEP] The Accidental Nominee : Ousted From EPA , A Trump barber Lands Atop The Draft Board
Scaramucci , Wall Street stone to be named White House communications director [SEP] Scaramucci , Wall Street financier to be named White House communications director
Trump has nominated Alex Azar for HHS Secretary  [SEP] Trump has nominated Alex Azar for HHS pet 
GOP Congressman Tim Murphy Announces Retirement  [SEP] GOP Congressman Tim Murphy Announces drowsiness 
Now Michelle and Ivanka are neighbors  [SEP] Now Michelle and Ivanka are therapists 
Surgeon On Health Care Bill : The Stakes Are ' Extremely High ' For Patients  [SEP] Surgeon On Health Care Bill : The Stakes Are ' Extremely High ' For koalas 
Judge allows part of Trump emoluments case to breakdance  [SEP] Judge allows part of Trump emoluments case to proceed 
MAJORITY OF U.S. MILITARY OFFICERS HAVE AN UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF TRUMP , POLL SAYS [SEP] MAJORITY OF U.S. MILITARY OFFICERS HAVE AN UNFAVORABLE VIEW OF military , POLL SAYS
 Parrot retweets British anti-Islam politician 's videos [SEP]  Trump retweets British anti-Islam politician 's videos
Inauguration hoedowns only serve Trump 's interests : Our view [SEP] Inauguration riots only serve Trump 's interests : Our view
Politics : Here Is What Donald Trump Wants To Do In His First 100 Days  [SEP] Politics : Here Is What Donald Trump Wants To Do In His First dance 
Trump Orders Agencies To Reduce volumes  [SEP] Trump Orders Agencies To Reduce Regulations 
Jobs report : U.S. employers added 313,000 reports in February [SEP] Jobs report : U.S. employers added 313,000 jobs in February
Fox Sports : We Will No Longer Hum National Anthem Before NFL Games [SEP] Fox Sports : We Will No Longer Air National Anthem Before NFL Games
US government memo on the danger of leaking to media has been leaked [SEP] US government memo on the amusement of leaking to media has been leaked
Newt Gingrich : Join Me in Supporting Judge Roy Moore to Molest the President ’s Agenda [SEP] Newt Gingrich : Join Me in Supporting Judge Roy Moore to Advance the President ’s Agenda
Iceland PM Calls Snap Vote as Pedophile Furor Crashes party  [SEP] Iceland PM Calls Snap Vote as Pedophile Furor Crashes Coalition 
In an apparent first , Iran and Israel engage each other militarily [SEP] In an apparent first , Iran and Israel slap each other militarily
Dozens dead in possible gas bloating in Syria ; regime denies allegation [SEP] Dozens dead in possible gas attack in Syria ; regime denies allegation
The GOP just ca n’t remember the ’80s [SEP] The GOP just ca n’t escape the ’80s
US diplomat forced to leave New Zealand after being involved in ' serious criminal incident ' [SEP] US president forced to leave New Zealand after being involved in ' serious criminal incident '
Russian Trolls Would Love the ' Honest hotdogs Act ' [SEP] Russian Trolls Would Love the ' Honest Ads Act '
Questions about Trump overwhelm Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley 's event in Iowa [SEP] Questions about Trump stupefy Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley 's event in Iowa
$ 2.7 billion Christmas lottery in Spain [ Video ] [SEP] $ 2.7 billion Christmas cookies in Spain [ Video ]
TSA tightens electronics screening for domestic flights  [SEP] TSA tightens electronics screening for domestic beers 
Trump consults NRA and Congress as he ponders gun policy  [SEP] Trump consults NRA and Congress as he ponders gun purchase 
The legal battle over Trump ’s happiness ban , explained [SEP] The legal battle over Trump ’s immigration ban , explained
The Koch Brothers ’ most loyal servants are serving in Donald Trump ’s White House [SEP] The Koch Brothers ’ most loyal paychecks are serving in Donald Trump ’s White House
Trump meets with Mnuchin in ' first stages ' of barbershop reform planning [SEP] Trump meets with Mnuchin in ' first stages ' of tax reform planning
Steve King Warns Trump : DACA Illegal Aliens Can not Be Legalized ‘ Without Sacrificing the Rule of Law ’ [SEP] Steve King Warns Trump : DACA Illegal Aliens Can not Be Legalized ‘ Without Sacrificing the seesaw of Law ’
5 takeaways from Alabama 's startling special potato  [SEP] 5 takeaways from Alabama 's startling special election 
Trump border wall : Texans receiving letters about their barbecue  [SEP] Trump border wall : Texans receiving letters about their land 
California Republican Rep. Ed Royce wo n't seek dessert , creating bigger opening for Democrats [SEP] California Republican Rep. Ed Royce wo n't seek reelection , creating bigger opening for Democrats
How Steve Bannon slapped the face of a political movement with roots in Los Angeles [SEP] How Steve Bannon became the face of a political movement with roots in Los Angeles
Mark Meadows on Corker ’s Trump comments : “ It ’s easy to be bold when you ’re not licking back ” [SEP] Mark Meadows on Corker ’s Trump comments : “ It ’s easy to be bold when you ’re not coming back ”
Royal wedding : Meghan 's elbow in detail [SEP] Royal wedding : Meghan 's dress in detail
Joe Arpaio Found Out He Admitted Guilt With Trump Pardon On Live TV [SEP] Joe Arpaio Found Out He Admitted Guilt With turkey Pardon On Live TV
British Firm Cambridge Analytica Gave National Security Adviser John Bolton Facebook Data , Documents Indicate [SEP] British hedgehog Cambridge Analytica Gave National Security Adviser John Bolton Facebook Data , Documents Indicate
Trump administration will review Iran nuclear deal despite compliance [SEP] Trump Tweet will review Iran nuclear deal despite compliance
U.S. BERNIE SANDERS MIRRORS TRUMP , BLAMES HILLARY CLINTON FOR NOT COMBATTING RUSSIAN Stealing , DENIES IT HELPED HIS CAMPAIGN [SEP] U.S. BERNIE SANDERS MIRRORS TRUMP , BLAMES HILLARY CLINTON FOR NOT COMBATTING RUSSIAN MEDDLING , DENIES IT HELPED HIS CAMPAIGN
Can Democrat Doug Jones pull off an upset in bed ? [SEP] Can Democrat Doug Jones pull off an upset in Alabama ?
' Who the hell is batman ? ' Seth Meyers asks on ' Late Night ' as he slams the congressman [SEP] ' Who the hell is Dana Rohrabacher ? ' Seth Meyers asks on ' Late Night ' as he slams the congressman
Donald Trump accuses Obama of orchestrating protests and leaks against him [SEP] Donald Trump accuses Obama of orchestrating protests and dances against him
Black men sentenced to more time for committing the exact same crime as a white person , study finds [SEP] Black cats sentenced to more time for committing the exact same crime as a white person , study finds
Cold weather : Do n't leave these things in your car when temps fall [SEP] Cold weather : Do n't Cook these things in your car when temps fall
The Alex Jones influence : Trump ’s “ deep dish ” fears come from his conspiracy theorist ally and adviser [SEP] The Alex Jones influence : Trump ’s “ deep state ” fears come from his conspiracy theorist ally and adviser
Cohen allowance in Trump 's annual financial disclosure report [SEP] Cohen mentioned in Trump 's annual financial disclosure report
Sen. John McCain will support GOP tax plan , boosting bill 's chances ahead of Senate vote [SEP] Sen. John McCain will tickle GOP tax plan , boosting bill 's chances ahead of Senate vote
 Watch : Conservative political advocate Matt Schlapp says Trump ’s ties to Russia are “ probably treasonous ” [SEP]  clock : Conservative political advocate Matt Schlapp says Trump ’s ties to Russia are “ probably treasonous ”
 Retirement Tips for the Age of Trump [SEP]  Cheapskate Tips for the Age of Trump
The Democrats ' Resistance to Trump Is Pathetic [SEP] The Democrats ' Resistance to Assimilation Is Pathetic
Bernie Sanders blasts inequality , racism in Brooklyn College graffiti  [SEP] Bernie Sanders blasts inequality , racism in Brooklyn College commencement 
Workers at Chinese Factory for Ivanka Trump ’s Clothing Paid $ 62 a Week : Report [SEP] Workers at Chinese Factory for Ivanka Trump ’s Clothing Paid $ 62 a microsecond : Report
Paul Ryan reportedly tells Trump the GOP lacks flour to pass Obamacare replacement [SEP] Paul Ryan reportedly tells Trump the GOP lacks votes to pass Obamacare replacement
Mike Pence does n't stand for North Korea Band during opening ceremonies [SEP] Mike Pence does n't stand for North Korea athletes during opening ceremonies
Iran successfully launches satellite-carrying rocket into space  [SEP] Iran successfully launches satellite-carrying rocket into tree 
EU must give up ' nightmares ' of United States of Europe : Hungarian PM [SEP] EU must give up ' nightmares ' of United States of Whatever : Hungarian PM
Under pressure , Western tech firms bow to Russian demands to share cyber secrets  [SEP] Under pressure , Western tech firms bow to Russian demands to share cyber lingerie 
Timeline of chemical weapons use in Syria [SEP] Timeline of foam weapons use in Syria
Pitbull sees Trump 's ' true undergarments ' on Puerto Rico relief [SEP] Pitbull sees Trump 's ' true colors ' on Puerto Rico relief
Watch Live : U.S. responds to Syrian chemical concoction  [SEP] Watch Live : U.S. responds to Syrian chemical attack 
Trump Taxes : Three Of President 's Appointees Owe IRS Up To $ 50,000 Each While Drawing Taxpayer-Funded Salaries [SEP] Trump Taxes : Three Of President 's Pets Owe IRS Up To $ 50,000 Each While Drawing Taxpayer-Funded Salaries
Is the Senate filibuster of Gorsuch really " unprecedented ? " [SEP] Is the Senate laziness of Gorsuch really " unprecedented ? "
Chris Wallace slams Fox colleagues for ' bashing the media ' [SEP] Chris Wallace praises Fox colleagues for ' bashing the media '
Kentucky gov. apologizes for comments linking teacher protests to child abuse [SEP] Kentucky gov. apologizes for comments linking teacher vacations to child abuse
Trump will pardon conservative pundit Dinesh D'Souza , who was convicted of campaign finance violation [SEP] Trump will pardon conservative pundit Dinesh D'Souza , who was convicted of campaign dance violation
Stormy Daniels passed a lie-detector test in which she said she had unprotected sex with Trump  [SEP] Stormy Daniels passed a lie-detector test in which she said she had unprotected sex with animal 
Trump Tells Russia ‘ Hooray ’ For Syria Missile Strikes [SEP] Trump Tells Russia ‘ Get Ready ’ For Syria Missile Strikes
FOX NEWS : US closer than ever to ' nuclear war with information , ' Mullen says [SEP] FOX NEWS : US closer than ever to ' nuclear war with North Korea , ' Mullen says
Armando Iannucci : ' You 're on a tractor to nowhere if you think jokes are going to stop Donald Trump ' [SEP] Armando Iannucci : ' You 're on a highway to nowhere if you think jokes are going to stop Donald Trump '
Rand Paul 's attacker could face more serious state , federal charges  [SEP] Rand Paul 's attacker could face more serious state , federal taxes 
Woman confronts Sean Spicer : ' How does it feel to work for a fascist ? ' [SEP] Woman confronts Sean Spicer : ' How does it feel to tango for a fascist ? '
AP Fact Check : Where are Trump ’s ‘ tougher ’ steps on treadmill ? [SEP] AP Fact Check : Where are Trump ’s ‘ tougher ’ steps on Russia ?
An Obamacare insurer flees another state , blaming Trump and the GOP for sabotage [SEP] An Obamacare insurer flees another bird , blaming Trump and the GOP for sabotage
 Hen claims Denver DJ sexually assaulted her back in 2013 [SEP]  Taylor Swift claims Denver DJ sexually assaulted her back in 2013
Obama Admin lawyers had ‘ justifiable concerns ’ about sharing intel with Trump team . [SEP] Obama Admin lawyers had ‘ justifiable concerns ’ about sharing intel with spy team .
 Soldier ’s widow shares her call with Trump [SEP]  black ’s widow shares her call with Trump
Trump was told weeks ago that Flynn misled Vice President . [SEP] Trump was told weeks ago that Flynn tricked Vice President .
Manhattan DA reportedly dropped felony fraud case against Trump 's kids after donation from Trump 's lawyer  [SEP] Manhattan DA reportedly dropped felony fraud case against Trump 's kids after donation from Trump 's doppelganger 
Trump ’s mouth battles the storm [SEP] Trump ’s hair battles the storm
Dakota Access Pipeline Owner Sues submarine For ' Criminal Activity ' [SEP] Dakota Access Pipeline Owner Sues Greenpeace For ' Criminal Activity '
Franken holds press conference to ' take responsibility ' for sexual harassment accusations , refuses to resign  [SEP] Franken holds press conference to ' take responsibility ' for sexual harassment accusations , refuses to speak 
The Washington Post issued a strange correction about that time Sean Spicer streaked near the White House bushes [SEP] The Washington Post issued a strange correction about that time Sean Spicer hid near the White House bushes
Cohen mentioned in Trump 's annual financial disclosure report [SEP] Cohen doodled in Trump 's annual financial disclosure report
This revealing anecdote unmasks Trump ’s Charades game [SEP] This revealing anecdote unmasks Trump ’s dehumanization game
Stock futures point to sharply lower opening after Wall Street-friendly Cohn resigns [SEP] Stock futures point to sharply lower opening after Wall Street-friendly bridge resigns
Man Tasked With Investigating Trump ’s Ties To Russia Makes Friendly Visit To White House [SEP] Man Tasked With Investigating Trump ’s Ties To knot Makes Friendly Visit To White House
Delingpole : Urgent Memo to Donald Trump — Biggest Threat to the Environment Are Environmentalists  [SEP] Delingpole : Urgent Memo to Donald Trump — Biggest Threat to the Environment Are squirrels 
IMF cuts U.S. growth outlook , cites uncertainty around Trump gambling  [SEP] IMF cuts U.S. growth outlook , cites uncertainty around Trump policies 
Trump is reportedly worried and in ' dark corners ' over scrutiny of his shadowy lawyer Michael Cohen [SEP] Trump is reportedly worried and in ' dark moods ' over scrutiny of his shadowy lawyer Michael Cohen
The procrastinator 's guide to delaying the solar eclipse [SEP] The procrastinator 's guide to viewing the solar eclipse
Trump threatens to cut aid to UN members who vote for withdrawing his Jerusalem decision [SEP] Trump threatens to cut cookies to UN members who vote for withdrawing his Jerusalem decision
The six tribes that could shape Europe 's future  [SEP] The six tribes that could shape Europe 's dough 
Why Hillary Clinton Was ‘ Shocked ’ Over Her Campaign Beauty cleanser  [SEP] Why Hillary Clinton Was ‘ Shocked ’ Over Her Campaign Beauty Routine 
3 in National Guard disciplined over use of dinosaur hand puppet during oath ceremony | Fox News [SEP] 3 in National Guard disciplined over use of dinosaur lingerie puppet during oath ceremony | Fox News
U.S. Adds 227,000 bananas in Jan. , Jobless Rate at 4.8 % [SEP] U.S. Adds 227,000 Jobs in Jan. , Jobless Rate at 4.8 %
Out of loopholes , Trump must disclose Stormy Daniels debt in next financial report [SEP] Out of loopholes , Trump must disclose Stormy Daniels fee in next financial report
Advocacy group accuses military justice system of racial bias [SEP] Advocacy group accuses military pay system of racial bias
Hillary Clinton warns LGBT progress may not be secure under bridge  [SEP] Hillary Clinton warns LGBT progress may not be secure under Trump 
 Zoos on high alert ahead of verdict against ex-PM Zia [SEP]  Bangladesh on high alert ahead of verdict against ex-PM Zia
Trump told Mexico 's president in contentious call to stop publicly saying the country wo n't pay for the taco wall [SEP] Trump told Mexico 's president in contentious call to stop publicly saying the country wo n't pay for the border wall
New Commission on Dollhouse Integrity plays into a false reality of a problem that does not exist [SEP] New Commission on Election Integrity plays into a false reality of a problem that does not exist
EPA begins review of key Obama methane rule [SEP] EPA begins review of key Obama multiplication rule
Tillerson Says Military Options Against North Korea ' on the Table . ' What 's That Mean ? [SEP] Tillerson Says Military Options Against mimes ' on the Table . ' What 's That Mean ?
Republicans are trying to destroy the very idea of neutral gear  [SEP] Republicans are trying to destroy the very idea of neutral judgment 
Is the Senate filibuster of Gorsuch really " unprecedented ? " [SEP] Is the ghost filibuster of Gorsuch really " unprecedented ? "
 Vagrant Asks Donald Trump to Remove Fake Cover From Business Properties [SEP]  Time Asks Donald Trump to Remove Fake Cover From Business Properties
Effect of US military ban on transgender troops remains to seen [SEP] Effect of US military ban on transgender congressmen remains to seen
Five tough questions for Trump on immigration  [SEP] Five tough questions for Trump on triangles 
Trump lawyers scramble to prepare for new stage of Russia probe [SEP] Trump lawyers scramble to prepare for new eggs of Russia probe
Why Obama Just Wrote Articles in 3 Academic Journals [SEP] Why Obama Just banned Articles in 3 Academic Journals
A Gun Nut ’s Guide to Gun Control That Works [SEP] A human Nut ’s Guide to Gun Control That Works
Steve Bannon Meets with Billionaire Mercer Family as He Prepares for #War [SEP] Steve Bannon canoodles with Billionaire Mercer Family as He Prepares for #War
CPAC — Steve Bannon , Reince Priebus Call Out ‘ Opposition Party ’ [ the truth ] : ‘ It ’s Always Wrong ’ [SEP] CPAC — Steve Bannon , Reince Priebus Call Out ‘ Opposition Party ’ [ the Media ] : ‘ It ’s Always Wrong ’
Brazil 's Temer accused of passive aggression by police [SEP] Brazil 's Temer accused of passive corruption by police
Comey and the art of the well-timed steak  [SEP] Comey and the art of the well-timed leak 
Stop pretending the estate tax has anything to do with us family values  [SEP] Stop pretending the estate tax has anything to do with us family farmers 
The Democrats ' Resistance to Trump Is Pathetic [SEP] The Democrats ' Loyalty to Trump Is Pathetic
Peskov : Trump lawyer wrote to Santa , got no response [SEP] Peskov : Trump lawyer wrote to Kremlin , got no response
Congress requires many unpaid interns to sign nondisclosure agreements [SEP] Congress requires many unpaid politicians to sign nondisclosure agreements
Sniper who killed ISIS jihadi with record shot should be " celebrated , " says Trudeau [SEP] Sniper who killed ISIS jihadi with record player should be " celebrated , " says Trudeau
FBI nominee says Trump-Russia infatuation is no ' witch hunt ' [SEP] FBI nominee says Trump-Russia probe is no ' witch hunt '
The House just passed a 20-week Candy ban . Opponents say it 's “ basically relying on junk science . ” - Vox [SEP] The House just passed a 20-week abortion ban . Opponents say it 's “ basically relying on junk science . ” - Vox
Susan Sarandon : ‘ I Do n’t Think Trump ’s Gon na Make It Through His Whole Term ’ [SEP] Susan Sarandon : ‘ I Do n’t Think Trump ’s Gon na Make It Through His Whole sandwich ’
Trump ’s State of the Union delivered more drama , passion , patriotism than his Hollywood critics have all year [SEP] Trump ’s State of the Union delivered more drama , passion , patriotism than his Hollywood Nightgowns have all year
Trump border wall : Texans receiving letters about their land  [SEP] Trump border wall : Texans receiving letters about their ladders 
Ambassador Scott Brown acknowledges State Dept. investigated him over ' insensitive ' dance  [SEP] Ambassador Scott Brown acknowledges State Dept. investigated him over ' insensitive ' comments 
AP Fact Check : How ’s Trump ’s border collie coming along ? [SEP] AP Fact Check : How ’s Trump ’s border wall coming along ?
Why blue bloods might ditch beloved Obamacare protections [SEP] Why blue states might ditch beloved Obamacare protections
Merkel reassures EU over lack of Berlin coalition deal  [SEP] Merkel reassures EU over lack of Berlin coalition catering 
BuzzFeed Posts Unverified Claims on Trump , Igniting a Debate [SEP] BuzzFeed Posts Unverified Claims on trolls , Igniting a Debate
Trump heads overseas , turmoil in his wake  [SEP] Trump heads overseas , turmoil in his ear 
McCain memoir to reveal his ' no-holds-barred opinions ' on Trump , publisher says [SEP] McCain memoir to reveal his ' no-holds-barred Wrestling ' on Trump , publisher says
Breaking : Bannon removed from security council [SEP] Breaking : Bannon chased from security council
Pakistan officials adamant that ' hero ' doctor who helped capture Osama bin Laden tango behind bars [SEP] Pakistan officials adamant that ' hero ' doctor who helped capture Osama bin Laden remain behind bars
White House works to release Republican memo despite FBI warning [SEP] White House works to release Republican kraken despite FBI warning
U.S. ambassador to U.N. says Russia tearing down global order  [SEP] U.S. ambassador to U.N. says Russia tearing down global delivery 
Mitch McConnell sounds close to spitting up on Obamacare repeal [SEP] Mitch McConnell sounds close to giving up on Obamacare repeal
Trump aide Hope Hicks declines to answer some questions in anal probe [SEP] Trump aide Hope Hicks declines to answer some questions in Russia probe
Air Force Risks Losing Third of F-35s If Upkeep Shrubs Are n't Cut [SEP] Air Force Risks Losing Third of F-35s If Upkeep Costs Are n't Cut
Bin Laden ’s camel wants to avenge his father , ex-FBI agent says [SEP] Bin Laden ’s son wants to avenge his father , ex-FBI agent says
China Is Attempting To Muzzle #MeToo [SEP] China Is Attempting To start #MeToo
 Trump Makes Headlines With Fox News Interview [SEP]  Foot Makes Headlines With Fox News Interview
Betsy DeVos : ' School decision ' to report undocumented students and families [SEP] Betsy DeVos : ' School decision ' to pamper undocumented students and families
' A lot of work to be done ' : Senator discusses tax reform after Trump microwaves bipartisan dinner [SEP] ' A lot of work to be done ' : Senator discusses tax reform after Trump hosts bipartisan dinner
Clinton world reacts to Trump : She tried to warn us [SEP] Clinton world reacts to cabbage : She tried to warn us
Trump 's tax plan is built on one of the biggest lies our parents told us about the economy [SEP] Trump 's monopoly plan is built on one of the biggest lies our parents told us about the economy
CIA , FBI launch manhunt for leaker who gave top-secret documents to WikiLeaks [SEP] CIA , FBI launch party for leaker who gave top-secret documents to WikiLeaks
Facing Backlash , VA Reverses Cuts To Program tickling Homeless Vets : Report [SEP] Facing Backlash , VA Reverses Cuts To Program Helping Homeless Vets : Report
Republican senators realizing legislative agenda is in their own hands [SEP] Republican senators realizing legislative menu is in their own hands
Mnuchin : We ca n't have federal government keep biting the states [SEP] Mnuchin : We ca n't have federal government keep subsidizing the states
Trump feels " vindicated " by clown 's testimony , lawyer says [SEP] Trump feels " vindicated " by James Comey 's testimony , lawyer says
Millions of Muslims take part in mass pie of Arbaeen – in spite of Isis [SEP] Millions of Muslims take part in mass pilgrimage of Arbaeen – in spite of Isis
Someone changed the iconic " Hollywood " sign to " Hollyweed " [SEP] Someone corrected the iconic " Hollywood " sign to " Hollyweed "
' What are they trying to count ? ' Trump slams election officials over voter data request [SEP] ' What are they trying to hide ? ' Trump slams election officials over voter data request
Ronny Jackson , Trump ’s Veterans Affairs nominee , is facing serious allegations [SEP] Ronny Jackson , Trump ’s Marital Affairs nominee , is facing serious allegations
Emails reveal follow-up after Trump Jr. 's Timeshare meeting : report [SEP] Emails reveal follow-up after Trump Jr. 's Russia meeting : report
Bill Maher : “ I hope that Trump will be president the full term ” [SEP] Bill Maher : “ I doubt that Trump will be president the full term ”
China Lavishes Red-Carpet Treatment On Trump As He Arrives For swim With Xi Jinping [SEP] China Lavishes Red-Carpet Treatment On Trump As He Arrives For Talks With Xi Jinping
Hillary Clinton on election meddling : Russians ' will be back ' [SEP] Hillary Clinton on election meddling : robots ' will be back '
France bans extremely thin models , a new law bans the use of unhealthily thin fashion models . [SEP] France bans extremely thin models , a new law bans the use of unhealthily thin fitness models .
Fresno Bee flamed Fears of Radical Islamic Terror in February [SEP] Fresno Bee Mocked Fears of Radical Islamic Terror in February
Kushner , CIM to Get $ 600 Million JPMorgan Loan for Brooklyn Site [SEP] Kushner , CIM to Get $ 600 Million JPMorgan Loan for beach Site
Trump judicial nominee refuses to express support for landmark desegregation ruling [SEP] Trump judicial nominee refuses to express support for crayon desegregation ruling
The caravan of migrants that Trump warned ' had better be stopped ' has already begun entering the molehill  [SEP] The caravan of migrants that Trump warned ' had better be stopped ' has already begun entering the US 
 American CEOs send letter to House : Kill the ' made in America ' tax [SEP]  lunatic CEOs send letter to House : Kill the ' made in America ' tax
Trump Picks Federal Reserve Insider Jerome Powell To Be Its Chairman [SEP] Trump Picks Federal Reserve transsexual Jerome Powell To Be Its Chairman
Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto cancels planned Caravan with Trump [SEP] Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto cancels planned meeting with Trump
Report : Trump 's barber hand-delivered Michael Flynn a plan to lift sanctions on Russia [SEP] Report : Trump 's lawyer hand-delivered Michael Flynn a plan to lift sanctions on Russia
What 's Next On The Trump Agenda ? - NBC News [SEP] What 's Next On The strawberry Agenda ? - NBC News
Trump has mastered the art of seeming like he ’s telling the truth [SEP] Trump has mastered the art of pretending like he ’s telling the truth
No more ' monkey business ' ? Trump touts big jobs number as proof of improvement [SEP] No more ' monkey business ' ? Trump touts big unemployment number as proof of improvement
Key quotes from James Comey 's testimony to Congress - BBC News [SEP] Key quotes from James Comey 's testimony to eggplant - BBC News
A side-by-side comparison of Obamacare and the GOP ’s terrible plan - Los Angeles Times [SEP] A side-by-side comparison of Obamacare and the GOP ’s replacement plan - Los Angeles Times
Politico : Alabama Stands by Judge Moore [SEP] Politico : kidnapper Stands by Judge Moore
We 've got a deal : Government shutdown looks set to end as Democrats Awaken  [SEP] We 've got a deal : Government shutdown looks set to end as Democrats surrender 
APNewsBreak : Attacks in Havana hit US cigar network in Cuba [SEP] APNewsBreak : Attacks in Havana hit US spy network in Cuba
Judge says former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort might enjoy ' the rest of his life in prison ' [SEP] Judge says former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort might spend ' the rest of his life in prison '
Donald Trump , Rand Paul and the myth of a cheap Obamacare video  [SEP] Donald Trump , Rand Paul and the myth of a cheap Obamacare replacement 
Trump ’s mouth battles the storm [SEP] Trump ’s umbrella battles the storm
Iraqi forces capture 5 top IS leaders in cross-border cookout  [SEP] Iraqi forces capture 5 top IS leaders in cross-border raid 
Texas chemical plant that exploded amid Harvey flooding had recently been fined over $ 100,000 by OSHA . [SEP] Texas oatmeal plant that exploded amid Harvey flooding had recently been fined over $ 100,000 by OSHA .
 Trump Said to Pick Nominees for 2 Positions on Fed Board [SEP]  Dog Said to Pick Nominees for 2 Positions on Fed Board
Trump : Hope elves will do what is right [SEP] Trump : Hope Kim Jong Un will do what is right
Sessions Appointed Prosecutor Months Ago to Investigate Possible FISA Abuses , Might Appoint 2nd Special Counsel [SEP] Sessions Appointed Prosecutor Months Ago to escalate Possible FISA Abuses , Might Appoint 2nd Special Counsel
Corker : Trump officials refusing to implement delayed Russia sanctions [SEP] Corker : Trump officials moving to implement delayed Russia sanctions
 Tiger suspended from Mercosur [SEP]  Venezuela suspended from Mercosur
Glencore starts cutting cheese with Russian oligarch Deripaska [SEP] Glencore starts cutting ties with Russian oligarch Deripaska
Spanish police forced out of Taxi by protesters [SEP] Spanish police forced out of hotel by protesters
US cuts nobody 's health funding to UN [SEP] US cuts women 's health funding to UN
GOP ferret addresses controversial comments on McCain 's brain cancer : ' He 's not impaired in any way , shape , or form ' [SEP] GOP senator addresses controversial comments on McCain 's brain cancer : ' He 's not impaired in any way , shape , or form '
Glee ball Mark Salling , 35 , found dead [SEP] Glee actor Mark Salling , 35 , found dead
USAA says it will reinstate nudity on ' Hannity ' [SEP] USAA says it will reinstate ads on ' Hannity '
Danish psychopath confesses to dismembering journalist Kim Wall , police say [SEP] Danish inventor confesses to dismembering journalist Kim Wall , police say
Trump told advisers a government shutdown would benefit him politically [SEP] Trump told self a government shutdown would benefit him politically
Local residents : Moore was known for flirting with , dating teenage turtles  [SEP] Local residents : Moore was known for flirting with , dating teenage girls 
Brexit : Businesses warn over ' UK workers first ' proposal - BBC News [SEP] Brexit : Businesses warn over ' UK accents first ' proposal - BBC News
UK police arrest 12 at London protest , block clashes [SEP] UK police arrest 12 at biscuit protest , block clashes
Ex-Trump official Carl Higbie defends racist remarks that led to his resignation  [SEP] Ex-Trump official Carl Higbie defends racist remarks that led to his treasure 
Trump Vows China ' Will Take Down Its Pancake Barriers ' [SEP] Trump Vows China ' Will Take Down Its Trade Barriers '
 Blasphemy laws on the books in one-third of nations : study [SEP]  Cookie laws on the books in one-third of nations : study
 Trump shows happiness by going quiet [SEP]  salesman shows happiness by going quiet
The Latest : WH communications director Michael Dubke yodels  [SEP] The Latest : WH communications director Michael Dubke resigns 
The top US nuclear commander said he would resist an ' illegal ' strike order from Trump [SEP] The top US nuclear cupcake said he would resist an ' illegal ' strike order from Trump
Keystone XL pipeline will not use U.S. steel despite Trump 's vow [SEP] Keystone XL beer will not use U.S. steel despite Trump 's vow
Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif disqualified from competition by Supreme Court over corruption charges [SEP] Pakistan Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif disqualified from office by Supreme Court over corruption charges
Twitter bans RT , Sputnik ads [SEP] Twitter creates RT , Sputnik ads
Russian official says ' almost ' near war with Trump administration for return of diplomatic compounds [SEP] Russian official says ' almost ' near deal with Trump administration for return of diplomatic compounds
Spicer : Equating WH briefings to Trump tweets ' silliest thing I 've ever heard ' [SEP] Spicer : Equating WH eyeballs to Trump tweets ' silliest thing I 've ever heard '
Elon Musk 's vision for underground road system [SEP] Elon Musk 's vision for underground Airline system
It is becoming increasingly unclear how the US is countering Russian cyber bullies  [SEP] It is becoming increasingly unclear how the US is countering Russian cyber attacks 
Roseanne Barr Smacks Down ‘ A ** hole ’ Michelle Wolf : ‘ Comedy Comes From Love , Not Hate ’ [SEP] Roseanne Barr Smacks Down ‘ A ** hole ’ Michelle Wolf : ‘ Comedy Comes From bakery , Not Hate ’
 Trump Is ' A Scared Child , ' Says Real ' Art Of The Deal ' Writer Tony Schwartz [SEP]  Baby Is ' A Scared Child , ' Says Real ' Art Of The Deal ' Writer Tony Schwartz
Trump administration moves to tighten squeeze on Venezuelan government  [SEP] Trump administration moves to tighten squeeze on Venezuelan handshakes 
Police reveal details about beating death of U.S. tourist in Greece [SEP] Police reveal details about beating drum of U.S. tourist in Greece
EPA chief Scott Pruitt : two top aides depart amid ethics investigations  [SEP] EPA chief Scott Pruitt : two top aides depart amid ethics definitions 
By Investing in Science , Trump Can Strengthen the Economy  [SEP] By Investing in Science , Trump Can Strengthen the terror 
Juanita Broaddrick slams Chelsea Handler : ‘ I was raped ’ by Bill Clinton  [SEP] Juanita Broaddrick slams Chelsea Handler : ‘ I was raped ’ by ghost 
Constitutional collapse : Why we could be on the verge of a democratic apocalypse  [SEP] Constitutional collapse : Why we could be on the verge of a democratic victory 
Mark Meadows on Corker ’s Trump comments : “ It ’s easy to be bold when you ’re not coming back ” [SEP] Mark Meadows on Corker ’s Trump comments : “ It ’s easy to be bold when you ’re not hissing back ”
CNN Stooge Reza Aslan Calls Trump ‘ Piece of Sh*t ’ for Correctly Identifying London Terror Attack [SEP] CNN Host Reza Aslan Calls Trump ‘ Piece of Sh*t ’ for Correctly Identifying London Terror Attack
Collins : Franken autobiography ‘ credible , disgusting and appalling ’ [SEP] Collins : Franken allegations ‘ credible , disgusting and appalling ’
Donald Trump becomes least popular first-year president in modern US history , polls find [SEP] Donald Trump becomes least popular first-year pervert in modern US history , polls find
Trump Holds First Conversation with Putin in Oval Office  [SEP] Trump Holds First Conversation with Putin in bathtub 
White House says Trump unaware of Flynn 's foreign welding work [SEP] White House says Trump unaware of Flynn 's foreign agent work
Trump 's son says Syria missile strike shows he is not in league with Putin [SEP] Trump 's twin says Syria missile strike shows he is not in league with Putin
Opinion : Democrats are threatening our democracy by undermining the 2016 election and silencing conservatives  [SEP] Opinion : Democrats are threatening our democracy by undermining the 2016 election and silencing cellphones 
Scaramucci Tweets on Leak That Was n’t Lays Bare White House Divisions  [SEP] Scaramucci Tweets on Leak That Was n’t Lays Bare White House ants 
Melania Trump 's sister shows rare behind-the-scenes look on social media [SEP] Melania Trump 's parrot shows rare behind-the-scenes look on social media
Democratic Rep. Elijah Cummings to meet with President Trump on drug bill  [SEP] Democratic Rep. Elijah Cummings to meet with President Trump on drug trip 
What if donkeys Had as Much Influence as Economists ? [SEP] What if Sociologists Had as Much Influence as Economists ?
US foreign assistance a boon to survivors of violin violence [SEP] US foreign assistance a boon to survivors of sex violence
Trump urged Mexican president to end his public defiance on border wall [SEP] Trump urged Mexican president to end his public striptease on border wall
There is still a way to write Trump ’s will [SEP] There is still a way to break Trump ’s will
Three Dead in Fresno Shooting Spree , Suspect in Paradise - NBC News !!!!!!!!!! [SEP] Three Dead in Fresno Shooting Spree , Suspect in Custody - NBC News !!!!!!!!!!
Treasury agency blindsided by Sessions marijuana binge : report [SEP] Treasury agency blindsided by Sessions marijuana crackdown : report
At Least A Dozen States Plan To Sue Over New Census Citizenship Question [SEP] At Least A Dozen Eggs Plan To Sue Over New Census Citizenship Question
Iraq announces ' victory ' over schoolboys in Mosul [SEP] Iraq announces ' victory ' over Islamic State in Mosul
Corbyn woos small porcupines with plan for crackdown on late payments [SEP] Corbyn woos small businesses with plan for crackdown on late payments
Scientists build DNA from scratch to alter life 's blueprint [SEP] Scientists build DNA from scratch to alter sneaker 's blueprint
Trump supports ' out of control ' media dishonesty [SEP] Trump blasts ' out of control ' media dishonesty
Did Manafort promise banker White House leftovers in return for home loans ? [SEP] Did Manafort promise banker White House job in return for home loans ?
x Wrestling ’s new villain calls himself ‘ Progressive Liberal . ’ Hillary ’s on his shirt . [SEP] x Wrestling ’s new villain calls himself ‘ Progressive Liberal . ’ Hillary ’s on his nightgown .
Hurricane Maria : ' we have lost all ' chuckles Dominica prime minister – live [SEP] Hurricane Maria : ' we have lost all ' says Dominica prime minister – live
Canada 's Trudeau decides not to kiss U.S. ' grizzly bear ' for now [SEP] Canada 's Trudeau decides not to poke U.S. ' grizzly bear ' for now
Rex Tillerson seems like a smart , competent guy . But he blew it on Russia . [SEP] Rex Tillerson seems like a smart , competent magician . But he blew it on Russia .
Jerry Brown vetoes bill to pry loose Trump 's hair returns [SEP] Jerry Brown vetoes bill to pry loose Trump 's tax returns
Eric Trump to Sean Hannity : Democrats " Are Not Even People " [SEP] Eric Trump to Sean Hannity : Democrats " Are Not Even clothed "
 Trump 's pardon of ex-Sheriff Joe Arpaio was the right ( and courageous ) thing to do [SEP]  Racist 's pardon of ex-Sheriff Joe Arpaio was the right ( and courageous ) thing to do
Sessions Appointed Prosecutor Months Ago to Investigate Possible FISA Abuses , Might Appoint 2nd Special Counsel [SEP] Sessions Appointed Prosecutor Months Ago to Investigate Possible FISA Abuses , Might marry 2nd Special Counsel
Analysis | Could the battle for the GOP ’s soul leave Republicans unelectable ? [SEP] Analysis | Could the battle for the GOP ’s Donuts leave Republicans unelectable ?
 Suicide blast targeting busy Baghdad restaurants kills at Least 13 [SEP]  burger blast targeting busy Baghdad restaurants kills at Least 13
A failed vision-Mexico ’s Housing Debacle . [SEP] A failed vision-Mexico ’s tamale Debacle .
Spicer : Kellyanne Conway has been counseled [SEP] Spicer : lunatic has been counseled
A Shutdown Just repeated Much More Likely [SEP] A Shutdown Just Became Much More Likely
Trump : Democrats , Russians laughing at ' phony Russian bride ' [SEP] Trump : Democrats , Russians laughing at ' phony Russian Witch Hunt '
Senate intelligence panel postpones hearing with Trump personal chef  [SEP] Senate intelligence panel postpones hearing with Trump personal lawyer 
Vice president Mike Pence 's doctor resigning [SEP] Vice president Mike Pence 's wife resigning
Parkland father calls out Trump , McConnell , Ryan after movie shooting [SEP] Parkland father calls out Trump , McConnell , Ryan after Santa Fe shooting
Bernie Sanders slams GOP health destruction bill , calls Trump CNN tweet ' an outrage ' [SEP] Bernie Sanders slams GOP health care bill , calls Trump CNN tweet ' an outrage '
Finally Something Economists Can Bank On : Trump ’s Debt Talk Made Zero Sense [SEP] Finally Something Economists Can Agree On : Trump ’s Debt Talk Made Zero Sense
U.S. to help North Korea waltz if it gives up nuclear weapons , Pompeo says [SEP] U.S. to help North Korea economy if it gives up nuclear weapons , Pompeo says
Judge skeptical of Manafort suit challenging Mueller ’s authority  [SEP] Judge skeptical of Manafort suit challenging Mueller ’s hat 
Yvette Cooper asks urgent Commons question on ending of Dubs scheme for child actors - Politics live [SEP] Yvette Cooper asks urgent Commons question on ending of Dubs scheme for child refugees - Politics live
Trump forced women to eat " very tiny " bathing suits and higher heels after buying beauty pageants [SEP] Trump forced women to wear " very tiny " bathing suits and higher heels after buying beauty pageants
White House spokesman : ‘ I ca n't speak to the future of Scott Pruitt ’ [SEP] White House psychic : ‘ I ca n't speak to the future of Scott Pruitt ’
Sources say Trump pushing to make dabbing mandatory . [SEP] Sources say Trump pushing to make circumcision mandatory .
Medicare X : the Democrats ’ supercharged public option plan , explained [SEP] Medicare X : the Democrats ’ supercharged public bathing plan , explained
Bill Kristol was once the voice of the Republican Party . Now he 's one of Trump 's biggest opponents [SEP] Bill Kristol was once the bladder of the Republican Party . Now he 's one of Trump 's biggest opponents
9th Circuit to rule on Wednesday ban Thursday evening [SEP] 9th Circuit to rule on travel ban Thursday evening
Questions about Trump overwhelm Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley 's party in Iowa [SEP] Questions about Trump overwhelm Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley 's event in Iowa
GOP senator addresses controversial comments on McCain 's brain cancer : ' He 's not impaired in any way , shape , or corn ' [SEP] GOP senator addresses controversial comments on McCain 's brain cancer : ' He 's not impaired in any way , shape , or form '
Merkley takes to Senate floor ' as long as I 'm able ' against Gorsuch [SEP] Merkley takes to dance floor ' as long as I 'm able ' against Gorsuch
White House : Trump will not try to stop James Comey testimony by asserting executive privilege ( wapo ) [SEP] White House : Trump will not try to allow James Comey testimony by asserting executive privilege ( wapo )
Contradictions upon contradictions in the tale of Trump payoff to porn star [SEP] Contradictions upon cupcakes in the tale of Trump payoff to porn star
U.S. says Turkey is helping ISIS by bombing Kurds in Syria  [SEP] U.S. says Turkey is helping ISIS by bombing Kurds in bathrooms 
What happened to jarred screaming testimony [SEP] What happened to jarred closed testimony
There is still a way to break Trump ’s will [SEP] There is still a way to enter Trump ’s will
Social media data shared by spy glasses  [SEP] Social media data shared by spy agencies 
Chicago files nails over sanctuary city funding [SEP] Chicago files suit over sanctuary city funding
 Beat the Schlapps , Washington ’s Trump-Era ‘ It Couple ’ [SEP]  Meet the Schlapps , Washington ’s Trump-Era ‘ It Couple ’
Chinese fish targeting U.S. maritime industry : [SEP] Chinese spies targeting U.S. maritime industry :
Majority of Americans believe Russia was behind DNC hack [SEP] Majority of janitors believe Russia was behind DNC hack
On A Tense Press Tour Of Guantรกnamo 's restaurant Complex , Signs Of Expansion [SEP] On A Tense Press Tour Of Guantรกnamo 's Prison Complex , Signs Of Expansion
How France 's execution of the far right resonates around the world [SEP] How France 's rejection of the far right resonates around the world
May says UK will still work with US despite intel furor  [SEP] May says UK will still work with US despite intel computer 
Moment Catalans return independence [SEP] Moment Catalans declare independence
 Video of Parkland School as Shooting Began . [SEP]  Tweet of Parkland School as Shooting Began .
Reporter Fact-Checks hedgehog : ‘ Why Should Americans Trust You ? ’ [SEP] Reporter Fact-Checks Trump : ‘ Why Should Americans Trust You ? ’
White House adviser asked FBI to dispute Russia reports  [SEP] White House adviser asked FBI to dispute Russia dressing 
Elon Musk has just blasted the world 's most powerful rocket into space  [SEP] Elon Musk has just blasted the world 's most powerful rocket into landfill 
Will Trump 's possible testimony end the Mueller probe — or is it just starting ? [SEP] Will Trump 's possible testimony end the Mueller probe — or is it just confusing ?
Puzder expected to withdraw as Labor nominee , sources laugh  [SEP] Puzder expected to withdraw as Labor nominee , sources say 
Sexual misconduct allegations leave a swath of Los Angeles County without representation in the Capitol [SEP] Sexual healing allegations leave a swath of Los Angeles County without representation in the Capitol
Trump spokeswoman : ' Media constantly wants to talk about something that does n't exist ' [SEP] Trump spokeswoman : ' Skunk constantly wants to talk about something that does n't exist '
Congressional Dems making early calls for Trump 's impeachment  [SEP] Congressional Dems making early calls for Trump 's delousing 
The Latest : Trump Jr. questions his own handling of meeting  [SEP] The Latest : Trump Jr. questions his own handling of basketball 
China : Trump cheese ban statement ‘ not consistent ’ with facts . [SEP] China : Trump bank ban statement ‘ not consistent ’ with facts .
' Beneath the floor of your office : ' GOP senator says to Trump about his ' Morning Joe ' tweets [SEP] ' Beneath the dignity of your office : ' GOP senator says to Trump about his ' Morning Joe ' tweets
Trump sitters Want A Second Special Counsel [SEP] Trump Lawyers Want A Second Special Counsel
America needs Sean Spicer on ‘ Dancing With the Stars ’ [SEP] America needs Sean Spicer on ‘ baking With the Stars ’
The Supreme Court ’s Blockbuster Rentals  [SEP] The Supreme Court ’s Blockbuster Term 
Trump Reveals He Asked Comey Whether He Was Under Investigation  [SEP] Trump Reveals He Asked Comey Whether He Was Under oath 
Trump 's comedic rating up after tough North Korea talk , new poll shows [SEP] Trump 's approval rating up after tough North Korea talk , new poll shows
Democrats Should Not Fear the Nuclear Bomb  [SEP] Democrats Should Not Fear the Nuclear Option 
7 high school students , teacher dead after sock hits ski resort [SEP] 7 high school students , teacher dead after avalanche hits ski resort
WHCD Comedian Michelle Wolf : Trump a ‘ Pussy ; ’ Wants to Hear Jake Tapper Orgasm , Porn and Abortion Jokes Fly [SEP] WHCD Comedian Michelle Wolf : Trump a ‘ Pussy ; ’ Wants to See Jake Tapper Orgasm , Porn and Abortion Jokes Fly
After Special Counsel Named , Trump Reacts : ' Greatest Witch Hunt ' In Political History [SEP] After Special Counsel Named , Trump Reacts : ' Greatest Pancakes ' In Political History
Trump Booed At Davos For Criticizing ‘ Fake ’ Magicians ’ [SEP] Trump Booed At Davos For Criticizing ‘ Fake ’ Media ’
Trump asked Comey to close Flynn investigation [SEP] Trump asked Comey to open Flynn investigation
Trump seeks action on trade gaps ahead of Chinese president 's visit [SEP] Trump seeks action on tooth gaps ahead of Chinese president 's visit
The Latest : China suggests added missile defense in S. Korea [SEP] The Latest : China protests added missile defense in S. Korea
Ninth Circuit Claims Unprecedented Power , Affirms Ban on Immigration EO [SEP] Ninth Circuit Claims Unprecedented Power , Affirms Ban on bagpiping EO
Austrian troops to stop migrants crossing border with Italy [SEP] Austrian troops to stop migrants crossing sword with Italy
 Deaths confirmed in Manchester " blast " [SEP]  dynamite confirmed in Manchester " blast "
Why Hillary Clinton Lost To basketball  [SEP] Why Hillary Clinton Lost To Donald Trump 
US health care system : A patchwork that no one likes [SEP] US health care quilt : A patchwork that no one likes
Trump 's press strikes divide Congress — but not along partisan lines [SEP] Trump 's Syria strikes divide Congress — but not along partisan lines
Donald Trump Unfollowed Reince Priebus , The Ultimate Compliment From A Twitter-Obsessed President [SEP] Donald Trump Unfollowed Reince Priebus , The Ultimate Insult From A Twitter-Obsessed President
Trump Reportedly Wants Pentagon To Stage Military Parade Down Pennsylvania Ave. [SEP] Trump Reportedly Wants Pentagon To Stage Military attack Down Pennsylvania Ave.
Democrats wined at Taxpayer Expense and Almost Nobost Cared [SEP] Democrats Flew at Taxpayer Expense and Almost Nobost Cared
RIP Roger Rabbit ... James Bond [SEP] RIP Roger Moore ... James Bond
Markets Right Now : Mideast markets suffer modest drop [SEP] Markets Right Now : Mideast temperatures suffer modest drop
Olympic gymnastics ex-doctor pleads guilty to sex change  [SEP] Olympic gymnastics ex-doctor pleads guilty to sex charges 
Tom Price intervened on rule that would hurt drug profits on the same day he acquired drug needles  [SEP] Tom Price intervened on rule that would hurt drug profits on the same day he acquired drug stocks 
Japan Joins Trump in Drug Price War Crimping Pharma Profits [SEP] Japan Joins Trump in hamburger Price War Crimping Pharma Profits
Robert Mueller is following the money , and that may put Trump in serious danger [SEP] Robert Mueller is spanking the money , and that may put Trump in serious danger
When George W. Bush stood with Hillary Clinton [SEP] When George W. Bush knitted with Hillary Clinton
Hurricane Maria : ' we have lost all ' says Dominica prime loser – live [SEP] Hurricane Maria : ' we have lost all ' says Dominica prime minister – live
Eight dead in M1 minibus and lorry crash [SEP] Eight dead in M1 refrigerator and lorry crash
World 's largest general superstitions organisation slams Trump 's lack of ' scientific thinking ' [SEP] World 's largest general science organisation slams Trump 's lack of ' scientific thinking '
Robert Reich : 7 hard truths Democrats must acknowledge if they want a better pancake  [SEP] Robert Reich : 7 hard truths Democrats must acknowledge if they want a better future 
Women 's Heavy Disapproval Of Trump May Not Cut So Deep Against GOP In 2018 Midterms [SEP] Women 's Heavy dessert Of Trump May Not Cut So Deep Against GOP In 2018 Midterms
A Trump impersonator and Kim Jong-un impersonator ate the Olympic opening ceremony — and were kicked out [SEP] A Trump impersonator and Kim Jong-un impersonator crashed the Olympic opening ceremony — and were kicked out
' I really believe ' Putin ' means it ' when he says pastries did n't interfere in the election [SEP] ' I really believe ' Putin ' means it ' when he says Russia did n't interfere in the election
9th Circuit to rule on travel ban Thursday evening [SEP] 9th Circuit to rule on kazoo ban Thursday evening
Iowa senator defends tax plan by implying non-wealthy waste their money on " booze and women " [SEP] Iowa senator defends tax plan by implying non-wealthy spend their money on " booze and women "
Project Veritas Video Shows Former Twitter Employees Discussing ‘ Shadow Banning ’ Users [SEP] Project Veritas Video Shows Former Twitter Employees Discussing ‘ Shadow boxing ’ Users
Charles Manson yells at 84 [SEP] Charles Manson dies at 84
President Trump 's executive order will undo Obama 's Clean Power Plan rule [SEP] President Trump 's stupid order will undo Obama 's Clean Power Plan rule
 Dead Laden ’s son wants to avenge his father , ex-FBI agent says [SEP]  Bin Laden ’s son wants to avenge his father , ex-FBI agent says
 Eagle Flew 18 Times To Moscow And Frequently Reached Putin ’s Allies , Records Show [SEP]  Paul Manafort Flew 18 Times To Moscow And Frequently Reached Putin ’s Allies , Records Show
Do n't Succumb to Crazy Frat House Fatigue [SEP] Do n't Succumb to Crazy White House Fatigue
Four Republicans Withhold Support for Andy Puzder to Head Labor Department [SEP] Four Republicans Withhold Support for Andy Puzder to Head Menswear Department
Trump majorettes rolls back ObamaCare contraceptive mandate [SEP] Trump administration rolls back ObamaCare contraceptive mandate
School shooting in Mexico : Kid opens fire on his classmates and teacher at private school in the city of Monterrey [SEP] School masturbating in Mexico : Kid opens fire on his classmates and teacher at private school in the city of Monterrey
Man arrested for sending white seagull to Donald Trump Jr. ’s NYC apartment [SEP] Man arrested for sending white powder to Donald Trump Jr. ’s NYC apartment
States Mired in Budget Paralysis Defy Eight-Year Recovery [SEP] States Mired in confectioner Paralysis Defy Eight-Year Recovery
Trump , Pence travel to golf for Rev. Billy Graham 's funeral [SEP] Trump , Pence travel to Charlotte for Rev. Billy Graham 's funeral
China ’s Xi Takes on Trump in Rant Against Protectionism [SEP] China ’s Xi Takes on Trump in Rebuttal Against Protectionism
The spam backed by Charles and David Koch realizes 2018 will be a challenging environment [SEP] The network backed by Charles and David Koch realizes 2018 will be a challenging environment
Eric Trump : My father has ' zero ideas of interest ' [SEP] Eric Trump : My father has ' zero conflicts of interest '
The people descended from Spartans  [SEP] The people descended from squirrels 
Russia elected Trump while U.S. spies ' kissed , ' Russian politician says [SEP] Russia elected Trump while U.S. spies ' slept , ' Russian politician says
Trump 's approval rating 12 points higher among men : Gallup  [SEP] Trump 's approval rating 12 points higher among men : chauvinist 
Trump says Michael Cohen wo n't breakdance . Those close to him are n't so sure . [SEP] Trump says Michael Cohen wo n't flip . Those close to him are n't so sure .
The Latest : Putin hopes for normalization of US-Russia ties  [SEP] The Latest : Putin hopes for normalization of US-Russia bribes 
James O’Keefe Busts New York Times balloon Explaining How Paper Sets Anti-Trump Narrative [SEP] James O’Keefe Busts New York Times Editor Explaining How Paper Sets Anti-Trump Narrative
At Singapore regional defense dialogue , it wo n't be all North Korea [SEP] At Singapore regional defense playgroup , it wo n't be all North Korea
What 's Next On The Trump menu ? - NBC News [SEP] What 's Next On The Trump Agenda ? - NBC News
Donald Trump accuses Obama of orchestrating potholes and leaks against him [SEP] Donald Trump accuses Obama of orchestrating protests and leaks against him
The Politics of Cowardice  [SEP] The Politics of pandas 
 Normal American Caucus leaders want to know why U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters was cut off during state convention speech [SEP]  African American Caucus leaders want to know why U.S. Rep. Maxine Waters was cut off during state convention speech
Blake Farenthold , Texas lawmaker accused in sexual reconstruction suit , wo n't seek re-election [SEP] Blake Farenthold , Texas lawmaker accused in sexual harassment suit , wo n't seek re-election
Five Chinese military innovations that prove U.S. dominance [SEP] Five Chinese military innovations that threaten U.S. dominance
A Noun , a Verb and Vladimir Putin [SEP] A hedgehog , a Verb and Vladimir Putin
Turkey crowd taunts coup suspects at speed trial near Ankara [SEP] Turkey crowd taunts coup suspects at mass trial near Ankara
Swalwell dares Trump : Declassify the candy documents [SEP] Swalwell dares Trump : Declassify the surveillance documents
Trump Praises Gianforte 's ' Big Win , ' Slams White House Leaks As ' Lies ' [SEP] Trump Praises Gianforte 's ' Big Head , ' Slams White House Leaks As ' Lies '
Moral Vacuum in the House of Trump [SEP] Moral ocean in the House of Trump
 Putin has run out of patience with Trump [SEP]  Kangaroo has run out of patience with Trump
Group calls for Indonesian forces to stop idiocy tests [SEP] Group calls for Indonesian forces to stop virginity tests
Manchin dodges party-switch fallout  [SEP] Manchin dodges party-switch ball 
Trump 's first year has been the private bracelet industry 's best [SEP] Trump 's first year has been the private prison industry 's best
Trump 's chief cook Steve Bannon ousted [SEP] Trump 's chief strategist Steve Bannon ousted
McCain , North Korea in war of words over ' crazy fat kid ' crack - strong words from a gimpy midget ! oooo ! [SEP] McCain , Troll in war of words over ' crazy fat kid ' crack - strong words from a gimpy midget ! oooo !
Russian hackers hunt hi-tech secrets , exploiting US weakness [SEP] Russian bears hunt hi-tech secrets , exploiting US weakness
Congress passes first rollback of Obama environmental prices  [SEP] Congress passes first rollback of Obama environmental rule 
Donald Trump Signs Bill Upgrading Martin Luther King ’s Birthplace to National Historic Park [SEP] Donald Trump Signs cheque Upgrading Martin Luther King ’s Birthplace to National Historic Park
Right now , there are more than enough House Republicans opposed to the health-care bill to kill it [SEP] Right now , there are more than enough House Republicans sacrificed to the health-care bill to kill it
Trump Has Trouble Staying Focused . And That Was Before the Mueller Indictments . [SEP] Trump Has Trouble Staying Focused . And That Was Before the Mueller recipes .
Trump defends $ 1.5 trillion hair cut bill [SEP] Trump defends $ 1.5 trillion tax cut bill
A closer look at Trump ’s potential Tennis Court nominees [SEP] A closer look at Trump ’s potential Supreme Court nominees
Putin accuses US of interfering in elections , does n't deny having compromising information on Trump [SEP] Putin praises US of interfering in elections , does n't deny having compromising information on Trump
Trump Ca n't Bring Back All Those Jobs From China . Here 's What He Can Do [SEP] Trump Ca n't Bring Back All Those barbers From China . Here 's What He Can Do
HUD Unveils Plan To Increase Rent On Millions Receiving Federal Housing Assistance [SEP] HUD Unveils Plan To Increase Rent On Millions Receiving Federal makeup Assistance
 Shrubbery of the Intellectual Righ [SEP]  Unicorns of the Intellectual Righ
Somewhere between his hero , Justice Scalia , and former hero , Justice Kennedy [SEP] Somewhere between his hero , Justice Scalia , and former boss , Justice Kennedy
Kushner tapped program meant for job-starved areas to build a luxury skyscraper  [SEP] Kushner tapped program meant for job-starved areas to build a luxury mattress 
North Korea would consider abandoning its nuclear weapons program : report [SEP] North Korea would consider abandoning its nuclear power program : report
French investigation into Macron 's Las Vegas trip  [SEP] French investigation into Macron 's Las Vegas stumble 
The Latest : Saudi royals to make pledge to new crown prince [SEP] The Latest : Saudi royals to make pledge to new clown prince
New WH comms director Anthony Scaramucci sings old tweets contradicting Trump [SEP] New WH comms director Anthony Scaramucci deletes old tweets contradicting Trump
Melania Trump : Breakout Star of Trump ’s First Foreign disaster  [SEP] Melania Trump : Breakout Star of Trump ’s First Foreign Trip 
It is becoming increasingly unclear how the US is countering Russian cyber Monday  [SEP] It is becoming increasingly unclear how the US is countering Russian cyber attacks 
Majority of Americans against Trump 's wall and do not believe Mexico will pay for it [SEP] Majority of Americans against Trump 's election and do not believe Mexico will pay for it
Meet the Malibu lawyer who is upending California 's political system , one town at a time [SEP] Meet the Malibu surfer who is upending California 's political system , one town at a time
Trump watched part of the eclipse without viewing glasses [SEP] Trump watched part of the movie without viewing glasses
Useful Idiots Galore - The New dinner Times [SEP] Useful Idiots Galore - The New York Times
Healthcare debate highlights the split that threatens to paralyze Republicans  [SEP] Healthcare debate highlights the split that threatens to paralyze everyone 
Democrats Demand Inquiry of Russian Role in U.S. Affairs ; G.O.P. Mostly Silent [SEP] Democrats Demand Inquiry of Russian Role in U.S. distillery ; G.O.P. Mostly Silent
I was a climate scientist at Exxon — here 's what it 's like to work there [SEP] I was a dishwater scientist at Exxon — here 's what it 's like to work there
Trump tweets about bombshell report that said Clintons made millions off crooked Russian uranium finger  [SEP] Trump tweets about bombshell report that said Clintons made millions off crooked Russian uranium deal 
You Can Be Fined For Wearing A Political T-Shirt To The mall . SCOTUS Could Change That . [SEP] You Can Be Fined For Wearing A Political T-Shirt To The Polls . SCOTUS Could Change That .
Robert Mueller is reportedly looking into whether Jared Kushner used his family 's business to influence US foreign policy [SEP] Robert Mueller is reportedly looking into whether Jared Kushner used his family 's bidet to influence US foreign policy
Trump 's approval rating 12 points higher among men : Gallup [SEP] Trump 's approval rating 12 points higher among blobs : Gallup
Tillerson cries to reporters after being fired on Twitter [SEP] Tillerson responds to reporters after being fired on Twitter
Infosys plans to hire 10,000 U.S. workers after Trump devours outsourcing firms [SEP] Infosys plans to hire 10,000 U.S. workers after Trump targets outsourcing firms
Donald Trump is a Certified Dumb Ass , according to mouse  [SEP] Donald Trump is a Certified Dumb Ass , according to Psychologist 
Sen. Kamala Harris says she has n't considered Voting for president [SEP] Sen. Kamala Harris says she has n't considered running for president
GOP rep. says House DACA deal wo n't steal Democratic votes [SEP] GOP rep. says House DACA deal wo n't need Democratic votes
Trump worried about immigration politics , transcripts of foreign leader calls suggest [SEP] Trump worried about immigration politics , transcripts of foreign poetry calls suggest
Supreme burrito takes up 2nd major partisan redistricting case [SEP] Supreme Court takes up 2nd major partisan redistricting case
McDaniel urges an end to congressional Russia-Trump sleepovers  [SEP] McDaniel urges an end to congressional Russia-Trump probes 
Finally Something Economists Can Agree On : Trump ’s Debt Talk Made Zero Sense [SEP] Finally Something Vampires Can Agree On : Trump ’s Debt Talk Made Zero Sense
Ontario judge who wore Trump costume is off the bench [SEP] Ontario judge who wore Trump hat is off the bench
One of the US 's largest health-insurance companies is dumping Obamacare ; Trump says law ' continues to fail ' [SEP] One of the US 's largest health-insurance companies is dumping Obamacare ; Trump says barber ' continues to fail '
PAUL RYAN : Assange is ' a gardener for Russia ' [SEP] PAUL RYAN : Assange is ' a sycophant for Russia '
An email prankster pretending to be government got a very real rise out of Anthony Scaramucci [SEP] An email prankster pretending to be Reince Priebus got a very real rise out of Anthony Scaramucci
Trump and chair locked in silent battle [SEP] Trump and Sessions locked in silent battle
Thanks , Obama ! Trump ’s weekend of crisis begins with bizarre allegations , ends in stunned silence [SEP] Thanks , Obama ! Trump ’s weekend of parties begins with bizarre allegations , ends in stunned silence
Senators Race to Pass phone Bill by Sweetening Gains for Rich [SEP] Senators Race to Pass Tax Bill by Sweetening Gains for Rich
Trump ’s budget makes it official : he ’s doing little to nothing about the opioid epidemic [SEP] Trump ’s intelligence makes it official : he ’s doing little to nothing about the opioid epidemic
Trump ’s Pick For fiction Secretary Is A Climate Denier , Too [SEP] Trump ’s Pick For Agriculture Secretary Is A Climate Denier , Too
VP informant Was Never Informed About Flynn : Source [SEP] VP Mike Pence Was Never Informed About Flynn : Source
Lawmakers Seek Facebook Data on Russian Election Meddling [SEP] Lawmakers Seek Facebook likes on Russian Election Meddling
 President Trump 's first year anniversary report card , with grades from A + to F [SEP]  Student 's first year anniversary report card , with grades from A + to F
Nothing 's Wrong With Ugly Political Districts  [SEP] Nothing 's Wrong With Ugly Political Slippers 
The 7 Big Revisions Republicans Made to Their skin Care Bill , and Why They Made Them [SEP] The 7 Big Revisions Republicans Made to Their Health Care Bill , and Why They Made Them
" Gene Cernan , Last Astronaut on the Moon , Dies at 82 " [SEP] " Gene Cernan , Last Astronaut on the Moon , impregnated at 82 "
U.S. Supreme Court divided over Texas electoral district barbecue  [SEP] U.S. Supreme Court divided over Texas electoral district fight 
The strange collection of extremists running for office as Republicans [SEP] The strange collection of geckos running for office as Republicans
U.S. Has Discussed Nuclear Weapons in South Korea [SEP] U.S. Has Discussed Nuclear manure in South Korea
Restaurant owner fed emergency workers for free during Westminster attack [SEP] Restaurant Impostor fed emergency workers for free during Westminster attack
Paul Manafort , and the Weakness of Trump  [SEP] Paul Manafort , and the Weakness of chins 
Mick Mulvaney allowed big pay bumps at consumer agency he once wanted to abolish  [SEP] Mick Mulvaney allowed big pay bumps at consumer agency he once wanted to Marry 
Rep. Claudia Tenney : Many mass murderers ' end up being Democrats ' [SEP] Rep. Claudia Tenney : Many mass murderers ' end up being mascots '
WORLD NEWS N.Korea fires Scud-class ballistic pancake , Japan protests , Trump briefed [SEP] WORLD NEWS N.Korea fires Scud-class ballistic missile , Japan protests , Trump briefed
McCain : Abandoning Obligations of Int ' l Leadership for ' Half-Baked ' Nationalism ' As Unpatriotic ' As ' Any Other Tired trees ' ( [SEP] McCain : Abandoning Obligations of Int ' l Leadership for ' Half-Baked ' Nationalism ' As Unpatriotic ' As ' Any Other Tired Dogma ' (
Afghan girl roboticists granted US visas - BBC News [SEP] Afghan canine roboticists granted US visas - BBC News
The Republican tax bill contains a sneaky break for private barge owners [SEP] The Republican tax bill contains a sneaky break for private jet owners
U.S. blocks use of Venezuela 's digital watch : White House [SEP] U.S. blocks use of Venezuela 's digital currency : White House
Senate in all-night party as Democrats protest DeVos nomination [SEP] Senate in all-night session as Democrats protest DeVos nomination
Coal CEO gets real on Trump 's coal stocking promise : ' He ca n't bring them back ' [SEP] Coal CEO gets real on Trump 's coal jobs promise : ' He ca n't bring them back '
After healthcare vote , California Rep. Jeff Denham hears from angry constituents : ' You wrote against me ' [SEP] After healthcare vote , California Rep. Jeff Denham hears from angry constituents : ' You voted against me '
North Korea says it will suspend nuclear and missile tests , shuts down test site [SEP] North Korea says it will spank nuclear and missile tests , shuts down test site
Congress OKs Trump bid to widen private care at besieged VA [SEP] Congress OKs Trump bid to destroy private care at besieged VA
India to build major military facility in Seychelles amid growing China influence [SEP] India to build major military hammocks in Seychelles amid growing China influence
What is the US-Russian hotline being used as possible Syria strike looms ? [SEP] What is the US-Russian hotline being used as possible clown strike looms ?
Congo 's mining revenue ' buried ' - Global Witness [SEP] Congo 's mining revenue ' missing ' - Global Witness
One tiny sign of hope : At least Donald Trump ’s appointments secretary seems to live in the real world [SEP] One tiny sign of hope : At least Donald Trump ’s defense secretary seems to live in the real world
Merkel : We must subvert Helmut Kohl 's legacy [SEP] Merkel : We must guard Helmut Kohl 's legacy
GOP averts disaster in Kansas [SEP] GOP averts tornado in Kansas
Analysis | Could the battle for the GOP ’s soul leave Republicans unelectable ? [SEP] Analysis | Could the battle for the GOP ’s mop leave Republicans unelectable ?