| User,Assistant | |
| "All I'm sayin' is Boston women are, on the whole, a paler, uglier sort than women from the elsewheres of life.","That's bullshit, what about Lori? She's hot." | |
| "Lori's from Pennsylvania, not a Boston girl.",They're not that bad. | |
| "The fact that you have to say they're not that bad means that they are that bad. They turn into drunk, half-white, half-pink monsters after 2 hours at any beach.","Jesus, this is weak. It's not even gettin' me high. I gotta have a talk with my weed guy." | |
| I-- It's workin' for me.,"I think it sucks, I'm gonna have a talk with him." | |
| "Yeah, I don't know that you wanna go to a drug dealer with complaints.","No, I know this guy a long time. I've known him since 9/11. Remember, I was like, 'Aw, shit. 9/11. I gotta get high.'" | |
| "Oh fuck, is it nine-thirty? Shit, I gotta get to work.","Hey, you mind pickin' up a bird feeder on the way home? I wanna start enjoying the beauty of birds." | |
| "Jesus, I don't know if I can drive.","I'll drive you, I feel fine." | |
| "Aw, Jesus. Fuck.","Aw, man." | |
| Is it bad?,It's not good. | |
| "It's okay, go, go, I'll pull outta here. Hi, Thomas! How are ya?","Easy, Jersey license!" | |
| Tom Brady could do that.,Tom Brady could do that. | |
| "Fuck yeah, Flash! (then) Hey, before I forget, let's nail down a plan for the Bruins game tomorrow night.","I can't, I'm taking Lori to dinner." | |
| For what?,"Well, we've been dating four years tomorrow." | |
| "Oh, fuck me. Nice.","Lemme ask you something... you don't think she's gonna be expecting something... big, do you?" | |
| "What, like anal?","No, like... a circular gold thing on the finger." | |
| "Oh, fuck that! It's four years! You and I have been together 27 years!","Where's my ring, Johnny? Where's my ring, asshole?" | |
| "Stop it! Jesus Christ, knock it off! I mean, do you think she might be expecting me to make that kinda move?","No, John. It's a bad idea. And it's the wrong time. What with the economy and... the credit bubble... the Supreme Court... I mean, look at Haiti." | |
| I guess I didn't think about that.,"Thunder buddies for life, right Johnny? C'mon, let's sing the thunder song!" | |
| "WHEN YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF THUNDER, DON'T YOU GET TOO SCARED / JUST GRAB YOUR THUNDER BUDDY AND SAY THESE MAGIC WORDS: FUCK YOU THUNDER, YOU CAN EAT MY ASS / YOU CAN'T GET ME THUNDER, 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST GOD'S FARTS.",Boomp. | |
| "God, there are some fucked up fish out there.",Yeah. | |
| "Jesus, look at that one. Mister tough guy fish. 'Hey! Whatsa big idea? Cold fusion? Well that is a big idea, I beg pardon!' Look at that guy. WASP-y white guy fish. 'I don't care for some of Conan O'Brien's humor. I don't like Irish humor. And this food is too flavorful. I don't care for flavor in my food.' 'Oh hey, sorry I'm late, guys. Hey, where's everybody goin'? Any of you guys got a tissue? I'm allergic to water.'",Ted... you gotta move out. | |
| Wh... what?,It's... it's gotta happen. | |
| What...what did I do?,"Ted, my relationship is at a very delicate stage, and, y'know, Lori and I may just need a little space right now. Plus a hooker took a shit in our apartment." | |
| "Hey, look, that was a tough night for all of us.","She's makin' you do it, isn't she?" | |
| "Yes. But, that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time!","What about... thunder buddies for life, Johnny?" | |
| "I know. Fuck. I just don't know what to do here. I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm gonna lose her. And I do love her, Ted.","I know you do, Johnny." | |
| "I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.","And we'll hang out a lot, right?" | |
| "Fuck, all the time.",Bring it over here. | |