Q: how come when i write what i truly feel it seems all cringy, but then i mash the keyboard and i would rather keep that?
A: i think when you mash the keys, that's probably closer to the way you truly feel. from the way you are describing the situation, it sounds like you are mistaking 'what you really feel' for 'writing in proper Englishe.' i'm just guessing but that is my evaluation. in my experience, to write what you really feel, you have to really throw all the rules out the window. and the result is never cringy although it might be totally insane