Q: I don't even know what kind of advice you could give me lol, but honestly if you have any thoughts or anything at all it would be really cool :)
A: I feel i should probably stop telling everyone to "write" a lot, because maybe some people just don't enjoy witing. But .... for you, it seems like you are perfectly comfartable writing, as you've just demonstrated. So i think you should find your most comfortable writing tool (a text editor on a computer, wherever you are most comfortable writing/typing), and just start.... USING it. Do anything you can in it. Use it to be honest. Use it to paint pictures. i don't care what you use it for, .... anywhere between honesty and art, fiction to diagrams, .... i mean, just test the keyboard, to start out with. Make sure every key is working. This will be one of the simplest ways to get your brain to start putting things into the world. Basically what we need to do is open up these pathways so your brain can start communicating with the world and putting things out there. you've demonstrated clearly that you are in the sort of 'consuming' stage, with some pent up desire to be the one on the other end of that. Maybe watch some film directors interviews on youtube. That could be a starting place. You might not want to direct films, but it might remind you of something else you do want to do. But another thing i should remind you, finding these things is like a river. You just make your best guess and do a thing, and then along the way you will hear some signals that will give you another hint of what you should try next. Trust me, these rivers ALWAYS get to huge dank oceans, eventually, if you let them flow. And you have made it clear that you have a huge amount of water to start with