Q: And I'm not even sure if I really am that but how can I stop thinking that I am like that if I actually am not?
A: use the 5 finger rule. over the course of the day, see if you can notice 5 other people who actually have these negative qualities that you've been fearing in yourself. the purpose of this is to turn you into a judge of other people, and then after having some experience judging other people, it may give you an insight about how judging minds work, and therefore you will be able to better understand how or if you have been being judged