Q: In 2019 I had a lot of initiative, and I loved to just work, and I guess it's possible to occupy myself with work without ever getting in touch with what I really want, but right now I find myself able to do neither.
A: ah, ok. here's what's happening: there is a big important breakthrough to be had, which you are not quite seeing because your recent paradigm has actually been built up so strong that it is preventing just a slight little shake up which would be necessary to reveal the next corner to turn. life is very curvy in that way. move around, take a walk, if it's legal in your area