Q: do you have any advice on how to not be *so* hard on myself with my own expectations that I just... completely collapse?
A: actually i'm not sure if you are talking about time or quality. i was thinking you meant time.  i naturally assume that everything has to be as good as possible. but actually i've found, shockingly, that this is an entirely nebulous benchmark. so the product will evaporate if you try to spend too much time on it. many people find that they do much stronger work under time pressure