Spanking for Lovers.jsonl

{"input": "\n\nQ: Who holds the copyright to the book?\nA: Janet W. Hardy holds the copyright to the book, as indicated by the copyright notice at the beginning of the section.\n\nQ: What are the restrictions on reproducing the book?\nA: According to the copyright notice, no part of the book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the publisher. This includes photocopying, recording, or by information storage or retrieval system.\n\nQ: Are there any exceptions to the reproduction restrictions?\nA: Brief passages may be quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television or Internet reviews.\n\nQ: Where did some portions of the book originally appear?\nA: Portions of the book appeared previously in \"The Compleat Spanker\" and \"The Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning\", both from Greenery Press.\n\nQ: Who created the cover of the book?\nA: Johnny Ink created the cover of the book, as indicated by the credit line \"Cover by Johnny Ink\" and the website listed.\n\nQ: Who created the interior illustrations of the book?\nA: Barbara O'Toole created the interior illustrations of the book, as indicated by the credit line \"Cover and interior illustrations by Barbara O'Toole.\"\n\nQ: Who published the book?\nA: Greenery Press, a division of SCB Distributors, published the book. The address of the publisher is Gardena, CA 90248.\n\nQ: What is the color that the author describes the butt turning during a spanking?\nA: The author describes the butt turning pink early in a spanking.\n\nQ: What is the comparison the author makes about the pinkening of the butt?\nA: The author compares the pinkening of the butt early in a spanking to the flush many people experience on their faces, chests and bottoms during sexual arousal.\n\nQ: What is the author's view on the coincidence of the similarity between the pinkening of the butt and sexual flush?\nA: The author does not think it is a coincidence, as indicated by the sentence \"Coincidence? I don't think so.\"\n\nQ: What might the author be implying about the relationship between spanking and sexual arousal?\nA: The author might be implying that there is a connection between spanking and sexual arousal, as indicated by the comparison of the pinkening of the butt to the flush experienced during sexual arousal.", "response": "\n\n\u00a9 2015 by Janet W. Hardy\n\nAll rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television or Internet reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher.\n\nPortions of this book appeared previously in _The Compleat Spanker_ and _The Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning_ , both from Greenery Press, and used with permission.\n\nCover by Johnny Ink, www.johnnyink.com.\n\nCover and interior illustrations by Barbara O'Toole.\n\nPublished by Greenery Press, a division of SCB Distributors, Gardena, CA 90248.\n\nThe pinkening of the butt early in a spanking resembles the flush many people experience on their faces, chests and bottoms during sexual arousal. Coincidence? I don't think so.\n"}
{"input": " Q: What is the title of this section?\nA: The title of this section is \"Table of Contents.\"\n\nQ: What does this section provide the reader?\nA: This section provides the reader with an overview of the book's chapters and topics.\n\nQ: How many chapters does the book have?\nA: The book has 14 chapters.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 1?\nA: The title of chapter 1 is \"Spanking and Me.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 1?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 1 include how this book came about, the author's biases, and who spanks.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 2?\nA: The title of chapter 2 is \"Who Spanks?\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 2?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 2 include whether spanking is sex, whether spanking is BDSM, and ways to use spanking.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 3?\nA: The title of chapter 3 is \"Why Do We Like Spanking?\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 3?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 3 include the physiology of spanking, the psychology of spanking, and spanking as transcendence.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 4?\nA: The title of chapter 4 is \"Anatomy of a Spankee.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 4?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 4 include marks.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 5?\nA: The title of chapter 5 is \"Communication and Mood.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 5?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 5 include straightforward verbal communication, \"one to ten,\" safewords, and role-playing.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 6?\nA: The title of chapter 6 is \"Spanking Fantasies.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 6?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 6 include \"losing scenes\" and \"winning scenes.\"\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 7?\nA: The title of chapter 7 is \"For Bottoms.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 7?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 7 include pain processing and taking care of your hide.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 8?\nA: The title of chapter 8 is \"Stages of a Scene.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 8?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 8 include warmup, turn-ons, skin-watching, and aftercare.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 9?\nA: The title of chapter 9 is \"Implements.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 9?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 9 include aim, hands, paddles, straps, birch rods, floggers and other multi-tailed implements, canes, crops, switches and the like.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 10?\nA: The title of chapter 10 is \"Positions.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 10?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 10 include weight on the feet, partially supported positions, and fully supported positions.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 11?\nA: The title of chapter 11 is \"Spanking Relationships.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 11?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 11 include the Spencer plan (cooperative domestic discipline), \"head of household\" domestic discipline, and goal-oriented discipline.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 12?\nA: The title of chapter 12 is \"Troubleshooting.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 12?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 12 include emotional crises, physical injuries, and health concerns.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 13?\nA: The title of chapter 13 is \"Tips, Tricks and Fun Things to Try.\"\n\nQ: What are some subtopics covered in chapter 13?\nA: Some subtopics covered in chapter 13 include getting wet, chemical heat, nettles, mixing spanking with other sensations, and games people play.\n\nQ: What is the title of chapter 14?\nA: The title of chapter 14 is \"Conclusion.\"\n\nQ: What are some appendices included in the book?\nA: Some appendices included in the book are Appendix A: Finding Others, Appendix B: Cleaning Spanking Implements, Appendix C: Combining Bondage With Spanking, and Appendix D: Some Special Notes on Caning.\n\nQ: What are some illustrations included in the book?\nA: Illustrations appear on pages vi, 19, 26, 38, 47, 56, 70, 76, 90 and 149.", "response": "\n\nTable of Contents\n\n1.Spanking and Me\n\nHow this Book Came About\n\nMy Biases\n\n2.Who Spanks?\n\nIs Spanking Sex?\n\nIs Spanking BDSM?\n\nWays to Use Spanking\n\n3.Why Do We Like Spanking?\n\nThe Physiology of Spanking\n\nThe Psychology of Spanking\n\nSpanking as Transcendence\n\nWhat's In It for Tops?\n\nSome Thoughts About Making It \"Real\"\n\n4.Anatomy of a Spankee\n\nMarks\n\n5.Communication and Mood\n\nStraightforward verbal communication\n\n\"One to Ten\"\n\nSafewords\n\nRole-playing\n\n6.Spanking Fantasies\n\n\"Losing Scenes\"\n\n\"Winning Scenes\"\n\n7.For Bottoms\n\nPain Processing\n\nTaking Care of Your Hide\n\n8.Stages of a Scene\n\nWarmup\n\nTurn-ons\n\nSkin-Watching\n\nAftercare\n\n9.Implements\n\nAim\n\nHands\n\nPaddles\n\nStraps\n\nBirch Rods\n\nFloggers and Other Multi-Tailed Implements\n\nCanes, Crops, Switches and the Like\n\n10.Positions\n\nWeight on the Feet\n\nPartially Supported Positions\n\nFully Supported\n\n11.Spanking Relationships\n\nThe Spencer Plan (Cooperative Domestic Discipline)\n\n\"Head of Household\" Domestic Discipline\n\nGoal-Oriented Discipline\n\nMaintaining Perspective\n\n12.Troubleshooting\n\nEmotional Crises\n\nPhysical Injuries\n\nHealth Concerns\n\n13.Tips, Tricks and Fun Things to Try\n\nGet Wet\n\nChemical Heat\n\nNettles\n\n\"Hey, keep it down in there!\"\n\nMixing Spanking With Other Sensations\n\nGames People Play\n\nPlug 'Em Up\n\nMasturbation During Spanking\n\nSpanking During Intercourse or Strap-on Play\n\nThe Crying Game\n\nInvite a Friend\n\n14.Conclusion\n\nAppendix A: Finding Others\n\nAppendix B: Cleaning Spanking Implements\n\nAppendix C: Combining Bondage With Spanking\n\nAppendix D: Some Special Notes on Caning\n\nThe Glamor of the Cane\n\nThe Craft of Caning\n\nSymmetry\n\nSting/Thud\n\nPacing\n\nTypes of Canes\n\nNatural Materials\n\nManmade Materials\n\nSome Special Caning Techniques\n\nResource Guide\n\nIllustrations appear on pages vi, 19, 26, 38, 47, 56, 70, 76, 90 and 149.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write an introduction to a book about spanking, focusing on the author's personal experiences and biases. Include details about the author's earliest memories of spanking fantasies, their journey to accepting and exploring this interest, and their experiences spanking and being spanked by various people. Discuss the inspiration for writing the book and the author's biases regarding consent, mind-altering substances, and spanking children. Emphasize the importance of consent and responsible, adult spanking play between partners.", "response": "\n\n1\\. Spanking and Me\n\n**ONE OF MY EARLIEST MEMORIES IS OF** sitting at the circus with my parents \u2013 I must have been four or so \u2013 and wondering what it would feel like to be spanked by the strong man.\n\nObviously, my spanking fantasies go back a long way. I can hardly remember having any sexual fantasies at all that didn't include some form of spanking. And even today, although my interests have expanded to take in many other forms of consensual erotic play, spanking remains my first love.\n\nYet it took me a very long time to come to terms with this interest. Like many women, I found it easy to deny to myself that the fascinating thoughts and images that crowded my mind were sexual in nature. (Women, unlike men, cannot look down to gauge a phallic barometer of sexual arousal.) Thus, I was approaching thirty by the time I recognized that my spanking thoughts were actually sex fantasies.1\n\nAnd it took me even longer to recognize that lots of other people shared my interest. At the time \u2013 well before the popularization of the Internet \u2013 I was living a relatively conservative life in a small West Coast city, with little exposure to erotic literature or photographs, and no access to the resources available in larger cities. And since my fantasies, like many other folks', were about nonconsensual spanking, I didn't realize that there were ways to act them out within the context of friendly and consensual sex play.\n\nBut eventually, the truth began to seep in: I was one of thousands, maybe tens or even hundreds of thousands, of people who had erotic connections with the act of spanking or being spanked. Suddenly, I began to see that I was virtually surrounded by spanking fans.\n\nThat was several decades ago. I began looking for and finding people to spank \u2013 and, later, people to spank me. I have spanked and been spanked by hundreds of people \u2013 male and female and in between, gay and straight and bi. I've used hands and paddles and hairbrushes and canes and birches and floggers and straps, and had them used on me. I've participated in light spankings that barely pinkened the skin, and heavy ones that left the backside bruised for weeks. And I think I can safely say that I've enjoyed every single one of them.\n\nHow this Book Came About\n\nPrevious editions of this book were published as _The Compleat Spanker,_ under the pen name Lady Green \u2013 a name I began using when my children were still minors. Now that they're older than many of my readers, I'm writing under the name on my birth certificate, Janet W. Hardy. (Appendix D, \"Some Thoughts On Caning,\" appeared in modified form in my book _The Toybag Guide to Canes and Caning,_ written under my own name.)\n\nMany texts on kink, and even some standard lovemaking texts, include information on erotic spanking. But I believe that spanking \u2013 by which I mean striking the buttocks and sometimes upper thighs with a hand or other implement \u2013 deserves a text of its own. Spanking is a precise craft, with exciting rewards. It carries less risk than many of the other activities people do for erotic fun, but it is far from completely safe.1\n\nFurthermore, I recognize that many people who enjoy the idea of erotic spanking don't consider themselves to be into the kink scene, and thus may never look at the many excellent books on that topic. So this volume will, I hope, provide them with the information they need to practice safe and erotic spanking play.\n\nMy Biases\n\nI won't pretend to be completely open-minded about anything that involves smacking an ass. My biggest prejudice, of course, is against nonconsensual spanking. If you are reading this book looking for support for your practice of spanking a partner without their consent, you're out of luck; I believe nonconsensual spanking to be abusive behavior (and it is certainly assault, as defined by law).1\n\nIf you are spanking someone against their will, or being spanked against your will, contact your local hotline for battering or battered partners immediately. (Contact information is listed in the Resource Guide at the back of this book.)\n\nMind-altering substances muddy the edges of consent: we all know that people sometimes do things under the influence of drugs and alcohol that they would not do sober. The morning-after of combining substances with spanking can involve a lot more consequences than a simple hangover. Some people choose never to involve an intoxicant in their spanking play, while others find that they can manage a very small amount of alcohol or mild drugs while playing. Know your own limitations and keep within them.\n\nAnd I hope it goes without saying that spanking, like a fine brandy, is too rich and intoxicating a treat for children. I do not believe in spanking children, either as punishment, or, of course, erotically. Please keep your adult spanking play between adults: do not spank, or be spanked by, anyone who is not of the age of consent in your state.\n\nDon't worry \u2013 there's still plenty of hot, realistic spanking fun to be had between consenting adults who follow these guidelines! With love, creativity, skill and perhaps a few carefully selected toys, you have a lifetime of amazing sensations and astonishing emotional experiences ahead of you.\n\n1Some of us are just a little slow, I guess.\n\n1If you know of an erotic activity that IS 100% safe, I'd be interested in hearing about it.\n\n1Some people in spanking/domestic discipline relationships practice \"blanket consent,\" in which the recipient consents to being spanked when the spanker thinks it appropriate. Such agreements work fine\u2026until they don't (which may never happen). If you want to try for this kind of relationship, I suggest working up to it slowly and building in some way to communicate genuine distress. I'll discuss these issues at greater length in Chapter 11, \"Spanking Relationships.\"\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that discusses who engages in spanking, the normalcy of erotic spanking, and its relationship to power imbalance. Address the question of whether spanking is a form of sexual activity or BDSM, and provide examples of different types of spankings and their purposes. Discuss the various ways that spanking can be used and enjoyed, both within and outside of the context of BDSM. Include references to popular culture and literature that feature spanking.", "response": "\n\n2\\. Who Spanks?\n\n**A** **_LOT_** **OF PEOPLE ARE EROTICALLY ATTUNED** to spanking. So many, in fact, that snickering references to erotic spanking have become a mainstay of television (I've counted spanking jokes and scenes on _Night Court, Taxi, Weeds, Community, Ally McBeal, Frasier, Outlander_ and several others, and I don't watch much TV!). In less self-conscious times, spanking offered harmless titillation to generations of moviegoers (John Wayne's _McClintock!_ is notorious) and readers (more than a few pre-Code comic books featured a comely moll getting walloped by a stern superhero). I'm also told that the less inhibited brand of romance novel1 often features threatened or real spankings of the heroine. I wonder how many women have been awakened to their own spanking interests by such literature?2\n\nSo, when I hear someone ask the question \"Is erotic spanking normal?\" I'm a bit torn. If these people are asking \"Is an interest in erotic spanking a statistical norm?\" the answer is probably \"No,\" but it's not highly unusual either. If, as is more likely, they're asking \"But isn't it necessarily sick to want to give or receive pain?\" I have an easier answer: No, it isn't.\n\nThe experience of pleasant pain is familiar to many, perhaps most, people. (Not you? Think again: ever enjoyed the pleasant muscle ache of a good day's exercise, or the challenging burn of a spicy curry?) Many more, although they may not be consciously aware of it, also have some experience with erotically arousing pain: biting, scratching, pinching, mild hair-pulling and hickeys have an honored place in many folks' sexual repertoire. If seeking out and/or eroticizing pain is sick, then it's a sickness about as rare as the common cold.\n\nMany of the \"isn't it sick?\" group seem to be particularly upset by the power imbalance implicit in spanking. After all, spanking is most often something done by a parent to a child, as a means of controlling the child's behavior and reinforcing the parent's authority.\n\nThis is a trickier concern to answer. It's worth remembering, however, that many people enjoy erotic role-playing of various kinds, and that many of those games (coach and athlete, pirate and captive, teacher and student, owner and slave, assailant and victim) include a pretended disparity in power. This enjoyment in no way means that the roles must extend into the day-to-day reality of the relationship. Nor is it true that a relationship with a consensual disparity of power is necessarily unhealthy, as long as both partners' needs for satisfaction and personal growth are being met.1\n\nSo, in case you hadn't figured it out by now, I don't believe that the desire to spank or be spanked is by definition sick. \u2192 I do think it's possible for those desires to become so overwhelming or obsessive that they can constitute a sickness. Certainly, if your spanking interest:\n\n\u2022is interfering with your ability to do your work or maintain healthy relationships with your romantic partner, friends and/or family\n\n\u2022is being expressed in a nonconsensual, bullying or abusive manner, or causing you to risk abuse or assault\n\n\u2022is leading you to feel deeply guilty, ashamed, isolated or afraid\n\n\u2022is causing you to spend more money than you can afford, or obsessing you to the point where you have trouble thinking about anything else\n\n\u2026then it may be time to get help in making spanking a more realistic and enjoyable part of your life. Check the Resource Guide in the back of this book for ideas about how and where to find such help.\n\nIs Spanking Sex?\n\nThe answer to that question depends largely on the desires of the partners involved.\n\nI feel fairly safe in saying that for most of you reading this, yes, spanking is sexual in nature.1 A few of the luckiest of you may be able to reach orgasm from spanking alone. Many others will use spanking as foreplay to more traditional sexual play such as intercourse or oral sex.\n\nYet there is a small subset of spanking fans out there who have no conscious erotic connection to the act of spanking or being spanked at all. They may simply be sensation junkies, interested in testing their own abilities and exploring the outer edges of tolerable stimuli. Or they may use spanking as part of a lifestyle in which one person consensually gives another1 the right to control his or her behavior, using spanking as a form of discipline when the misbehaving partner goes astray \u2013 they may, of course, eroticize controlling or being controlled, even if they don't eroticize the actual spanking.\n\nIs Spanking BDSM?\n\nThis is a hotly controversial question among spanking circles. I've heard people state that their spanking interest is not BDSM because \"I don't enjoy the sensation of the spanking; I just like having my behavior controlled.\" Many people in the BDSM community would say exactly the same. Enjoyment of pain is far from universal among BDSM players; some accept the pain as a symbol of their devotion to their dominant, others accept it as a means of having their behavior controlled, and still others won't accept pain at all.\n\nI've also heard spanking people reject the idea that what they do is BDSM because they are turned off by many of the outward symbols worn by some kinksters: the leather, the studs, the handcuffs, and so on. While these symbols are obvious means of publicly identifying oneself as into BDSM, they are far from universal. A great many BDSM people seldom if ever wear or use such stuff (it's expensive and uncomfortable). If you were to attend a meeting of a BDSM club, you would see a few people dressed in the traditional black leather uniform, a few dressed as though they were on their way home from the office (because they are), a few dressed in jeans and sweatshirts, a few in costumes and drag, and quite a few miscellaneous types. (Important note: A fair number of attendees at the typical BDSM club or party are interested primarily or exclusively in spanking, and some have very high-level skills in this area.)\n\nFinally, I think many spankers assume that BDSM play is by definition heavier than spanking play.1 Not so. BDSM can be very light, teasing and erotic; spanking play can be very intense, painful and risky. (The reverse can, of course, also be true.) I suggest you define your interests by explaining what level of intensity you like, and not by relying on distinctions that may or may not exist.\n\nThe domestic discipline community in particular generally defines itself as separate from the BDSM world. Although the techniques used are the same, I do think there are significant cultural differences between the two groups: the primary one is that BDSM teachings usually advise against bringing \"real world\" stuff into play, whereas domestic discipline is often specifically about punishment for genuine malfeasance on the spankee's part. Either approach can work, but I do think there are some special emotional risks involved in bringing real world issues into spanking play.2\n\nYou get to choose how to identify: as a spanker and/or spankee only, or as part of the larger community of BDSMers. A lot of the information you'll read in this book is gleaned from the collective experience of BDSM players as well as spankophiles. While you may or may not ever desire to explore any form of erotic power exchange besides spanking, or to involve yourself in the BDSM community as a whole, please do not close yourself off from many decades of experience, knowledge and possibilities.\n\nWays to Use Spanking\n\nOne domestic discipline website I visited,1 which I've paraphrased here, lists ten different types of spankings:\n\n\u2022Good girl/boy spankings, to be used as a reward\n\n\u2022Erotic spankings, to be used as foreplay and/or sexual stimulation\n\n\u2022Stress relief spankings, to be used cathartically\n\n\u2022Introductory disciplinary spankings, a ritual at the beginning of a discipline relationship to reinforce the new relationship dynamic and to learn the spankee's emotional and physical reaction to discipline\n\n\u2022Pre-emptive discipline, given to ensure proper behavior\n\n\u2022Submission spankings, given simply because the spanker feels like it\n\n\u2022Maintenance spankings, to be given as a reminder of the relationship dynamic and also to fulfill the spankee's spanking desires so that they don't need to act out in order to get spanked\n\n\u2022Punishment spankings, to be given in retribution for bad behavior. I actually think it is more accurate to think of these as \"atonement spankings,\" in which the spankee submits to the spanking to demonstrate their regret for the misbehavior and to show that they are willing to endure the spanking in order to be forgiven.\n\n\u2022\"Short sharp shock\" spankings, given to interrupt bad behavior before it has a chance to gather momentum\n\n\u2022\"Transformational\" spankings, used within the context of Christian domestic discipline, which appear to me from the website's description to cross the line into abuse\n\nAnd this very comprehensive list doesn't include ordeal spankings, role-played spankings and several other kinds I can think of! I think it's safe to say that there are almost as many ways and reasons to spank as there are spankers and spankees.\n\n1Recently, of course, \"50 Shades of Grey\" and its sequels have awakened nascent spanking fantasies in millions of readers.\n\n2I'm not a romance novel fan myself, but some readers' suggestions are listed in the Resource Guide.\n\n1For much more information about the ways in which spanking and other forms of consensual power play can enhance lives and relationships, please check out \"The New Topping Book\" and \"The New Bottoming Book,\" by my coauthor Dossie Easton and me.\n\n1The author Staci Newmahr has coined the phrase \"sexually relevant,\" to talk about activities that are not genitally sexual but nevertheless plug into participants' erotic selves. It's a useful one.\n\n1Or, occasionally, both (or all) partners give this right to one another.\n\n1\"Heavy\" is jargon for physically or emotionally intense.\n\n2More about this in Chapter 11, \"Spanking Relationships.\"\n\n1\"C's Loving Domestic Discipline Blog,\" rncblog.blogspot.com/2007/05/different-types-of-spanking.html\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that delves into the reasons why people enjoy spanking, both from the perspective of the spankee and the top. Discuss the physiological and psychological aspects of spanking, including the release of endorphins and the fulfillment of emotional needs and fantasies. Provide examples of different types of spankees, such as masochists, submissives, brats, and those who seek catharsis or an ordeal. Also, explore the rewards for the top, such as empathy, expression of hidden aspects of their personality, and the erotic appeal of spanking. Finally, touch on the topic of making spanking scenes feel more \"real\" and the potential risks and considerations involved.", "response": "\n\n3\\. Why Do We Like Spanking?\n\n**WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT GETTING** whacked on the butt? For that matter, what's so great about whacking someone?\n\nThere are probably almost as many answers to these questions as there are spanking fans. Masochists, submissives, \"babies,\" brats, \"kidz,\" \"puppies,\" and more enjoy getting spanked. Masters and mistresses, sadists, coaches, governesses, \"mommies\" and \"daddies,\" trainers, shamans, and more enjoy doing the spanking. You probably share your particular motivations and fantasies with many other spankophiles, but your unique pattern of needs, desires and experiences is yours alone.\n\nThe Physiology of Spanking\n\nMuch of the motivation behind getting spanked is physiological: some aspects of spanking create body responses that can be sexual, erotic or simply pleasant.\n\nI don't think many people get into spanking in order to seek out these responses \u2013 I think their fantasies (or their partners' fantasies) lead them to try spanking, and then they discover the physiological stuff as an added benefit. Some spankees may come to the point where they no longer need or want the context of the fantasy, but just enjoy the physical sensations of the spanking. Others go on preferring to act out the emotional/role-playing aspects that surround the spanking play.\n\nFor a lot of people, the physical sensations of spanking simply turn us on sexually. While I'll discuss the physiology of this phenomenon in Chapter 4, \"Anatomy of a Spankee,\" there's also some neurochemistry involved. It has to do, ironically, with the body's mechanisms for protecting you from intense sensation.\n\nWhen you receive a sound spanking, or any other intense physical or emotional stimulus, your brain releases a flood of neurochemicals, which laymen usually call, generically, \"endorphins.\" (The word is a compound of \"endogenous,\" meaning naturally occurring in the body, and \"morphine\" \u2013 endorphins are chemically quite similar to that drug.) These naturally occurring substances reduce the pain and induce a state of mind that makes you feel drifty, giggly, serene, and/or just plain happy.\n\nQuite a few people engage in endorphin-seeking behavior: some ride roller coasters, some eat hot chilies, some run marathons, and some get their butts tanned. While I don't think too many people engage in spanking purely to get the endorphin rush, it's a very nice side benefit \u2013 some folks find it helps calm their minds, crystallize their thinking, and reduce their stress level for several days after the scene ends.\n\nThe Psychology of Spanking\n\nIf all the rewards of spanking were physical, we'd simply smack our own butts.1 However, for most of us, spanking is more about our emotions \u2013 a way to re-create in the real world one of the deeply personal scripts that help make us who we are and that structure the way we relate to others. Often, these scripts describe someone who we're not allowed to be in the real world: the defiant brat, the acquiescent submissive, the dependent child\u2026or the strict parent, the cruel captor, the brusque owner. Within the protected boundaries of the spanking scene, we act out the roles that meet our most profound, most secret needs.\n\nFor many spankees, the script of spanking has to do with being _controlled_. They may or may not like the physical pain of being spanked, but they do like knowing that their spanker is administering the spanking as a symbol of her control.\n\nSome control-oriented spankees identify as _brats._ Their style is defiant, insolent, resistant \u2013 they like the game that one of my friends calls \"I'll pump it up, you take it down.\" Brat play often includes lots of little disobediences and impudences, which are designed to culminate in the top rolling up their sleeves and saying, in one way or another, \"That's it, young lady [or 'young man'], you've been asking for this.\"\n\nBrat scenes \u2013 which are closely related to the energy BDSMers call \"SAM,\" for \"smart-assed masochist\" \u2013 can be a lot of fun, but they require particularly good boundaries and communication between the partners. It's a very bad idea to push a brat scene so far that the top genuinely loses their temper, or feels that they are being rejected or put down. It is particularly important in brat play for both top and bottom1 to have safewords, and to be willing to use them if anybody begins to feel that things have gotten too intense, anger-provoking, unsafe, or otherwise real.\n\nOther control-oriented spankees are _submissives._ For these folks, spanking is something they accept because they know that giving a spanking pleases their dominant, or because their dominant has decided that they require one in order to shape their behavior. They are rarely resistant or mouthy; instead, they get their script from gamely doing their best to please.\n\nIf the cardinal weakness of brats is pushiness, a submissive's weakness can often be passivity. If you or your partner is submissive, be sure to check in often, outside the special world of the spanking scene, to be sure everyone's needs are getting met. A submissive may need a particularly large amount of reassurance that they are indeed pleasing their dominant \u2013 especially if they have had to safeword1 or otherwise express a limit.\n\nMany spankees enjoy the _catharsis_ of spanking. For a lot of folks, spanking offers an opportunity to release the pent-up angers, fears and frustrations which real life inevitably entails. While few people have the opportunity to rage, struggle, beg or cry in the outside world, the protected environment of a good spanking scene is a rare and magical place to let go of stuffed emotion, safe in the knowledge that our tops' strength will contain us, that we will harm nobody, and that we will still be loved after we release this difficult stuff.\n\nCatharsis can be scary for all concerned: pity the poor top who thought he was just administering a nice simple straightforward spanking, and who suddenly has to contain and comfort a sobbing, incoherent wreck. If you suspect that you have a lot of pent-up emotion which is just waiting for a nice spanking in order to explode out of you, it's essential to warn your top first \u2013 to ensure that they give their consent to be around such strong stuff, and that they're willing to support you as you release it.\n\nYet another category of spankee is the one who likes an _ordeal._ For these people, taking a difficult spanking is a way of testing their own strength, courage and stamina. Afterwards, they report feeling strong, centered and powerful: they've taken what the world has to dish out, and it hasn't broken them. (I've heard this phenomenon referred to as \"masochismo.\"2)\n\nOrdeal-seekers can be a bit of a trial for a top. Aside from the issue of wearing out your arm and breaking your favorite paddle, an ordeal-seeker is unlikely to let you know if things get to be too much: doing so feels to such a person like an admission that they've failed. Make it clear to your partner that, for both of your safety, they _must_ tell you if they feel that the spanking is damaging them physically or emotionally, and that nobody will consider that a sign of weakness or failure. And then watch them extra-carefully for signs of physical or emotional damage anyway.\n\nA final category of spanking script comes from the bottom who seeks _humiliation._ Such folks are more attuned to the emotional aspects of spanking than to the physical ones. The more you load up the spanking scene with symbols of the power imbalance between the two of you \u2013 embarrassing positions, degrading costumes, scornful lectures, mouth-soaping, corner time, playing with urine and/or enemas, kissing the implement, thanking you for each stroke \u2013 the better they like it.\n\nHumiliation bottoms are easy on the hand, but hard on the imagination: coming up with ways to keep _both_ sets of cheeks nice and pink can be a challenge. It's also worth remembering that professional dominants report that the humiliation-lover is the client most likely to turn on them in anger. Humiliation play can resonate down into the deepest levels of someone's self-image. It requires extra-careful step-by-step negotiation, even down to discussion of each word used in a scolding, in order to keep the scene emotionally safe for the bottom and physically safe for the top.\n\nSpanking as Transcendence\n\nLike all forms of erotic power and pain play, spanking has the potential to rocket both spanker and spankee into an altered state of consciousness that many perceive as transcendent, ecstatic or even spiritual.\n\n_Over-the-knee spanking - often abbreviated to OTK - holds a special place in the heart of spanking enthusiasts. It fits especially well into age play, as well as authority scenarios like \"schoolteacher and student\" and \"boss and secretary.\"_\n\nNobody knows exactly what underlies such phenomena, but we do know that nearly all religious and spiritual traditions have developed ways of stressing the body \u2013 from kneeling on hard surfaces for hours through piercing the flesh and hanging from the piercings \u2013 in order to travel in metaphysical realms that cannot be accessed during day-to-day consciousness. Spanking, which after all was developed as a way of giving pain with minimal damage to the body, can be a relatively safe way of exploring the realms of transcendence.\n\nWhile you're still getting the hang of spanking or being spanked, it's unlikely that you'll have such experiences \u2013 too much of your brain will be occupied by working its way through the techniques of giving or receiving the sensation. But it may be that as you proceed along your spanking journey, you might experience profound feelings of connection with your partner and with the universe, leading to visions, out-of-body experiences, and remarkable insights.1\n\nWhat's In It for Tops?\n\nThe rewards of topping are a bit less tangible than those of bottoming \u2013 after all, it's the bottom who gets all the sensory goodies.2\n\nContrary to most people's image of a spanker as heartless, cruel and sadistic, the rewards of spanking often actually stem from a deep empathy: if you weren't empathizing with the bottom's sensations, you might as well whack a pillow, right? Thus, the top can vicariously experience many of the same rewards the bottom is enjoying. Even contact endorphin highs are far from unknown (I've walked away from giving a heavy spanking feeling high as a kite).\n\nSpanking, like being spanked, also offers us the opportunity to express aspects of ourselves that aren't safe or acceptable to act out in the real world: the brute, the strict authority figure, the sadist, the interrogator, the captor. When we find that within the clear boundaries of the spanking scene these personae1 are not just accepted, but lusted after and loved, a tremendous sense of healing and wholeness can result.\n\nAnd let's face it: the sounds and sensations and sights of spanking someone \u2013 the whimpers and moans and cries, the writhing and wiggling and clenching, the skin turning rosy and warm \u2013 are very, very sexy. It's not really very surprising that so many people are erotically attuned to an activity that involves so many sexual cues (in fact, it's sort of surprising to me that there are people who aren't).\n\nSome Thoughts About Making It \"Real\"\n\nMany, perhaps most, of you who read this are erotically attuned to suffering \u2013 either to your own suffering or to that of your partner \u2013 perhaps both.\n\nYet our attunement to suffering is a delicate one. Too little and our encounter is bland \u2013 after all, if we wanted vanilla sex, there's plenty of it out there. But at the opposite end of the spectrum, so much can go wrong: suffering inflicted by the wrong partner; suffering inflicted by the partner who seems to enjoy it too much (\"why does she hate me so?\") or too little (\"is he only doing this for my sake?\"); hamhanded suffering from a partner with no sense of the delicate feedback mechanisms that say \"take it up slowly\u2026slowly\u2026OK, now pick up the pace\u2026 now it's time to get sneaky and let 'em think they're getting a break\u2026 _now_ the crescendo!\" And no responsible top wants to cause the kind of genuine harm or misery that lasts outside the protected sphere of the scene.\n\nI think this issue comes down to the question of \"realness.\" Every erotic sufferer, or inflicter of suffering, occasionally feels the pang of desire for \"reality,\" the quest to turn the delicate interplay of symbols into something more poignant and immediate. It is at this time that partners begin talk of disposing of safewords, of consensual nonconsent, of \"no way out\" scenes.\n\nA certain amount of sorting naturally takes place during the partner-finding process. People who enjoy scenes with lots of role-play and not too much actual suffering will find each other, and naturally reject those who want their suffering as close to reality as possible. The sorting process will inevitably produce more than its share of small (and not-so-small) dramas; minimizing such dramas is a good reason to evolve the best possible negotiation skills early in your scene life.\n\nIf you are one who craves the edge, allow me to share two points from my own experience. Point one: it is essentially impossible for ethical players to dispose of safewords or do \"consensual nonconsent.\" There is always a way for a bottom who is truly in trouble to communicate withdrawal of consent, and an ethical top will act on that communication. Impasse.\n\nPoint two: the passage of time will naturally and effortlessly resolve the impasse. As partners play together, and trust evolves, the top's ability to read signals will evolve, as will the bottom's ability to relinquish control and to go into the realms that formerly seemed unattainable, the red-misted territory that lies beyond \"I can't stand this any more.\"\n\nI have never bottomed without a safeword. Regardless, I have done scenes in which I was shrieking for mercy at the top of my lungs, and meaning every word of it. I was literally willing to do anything I could to stop the scene \u2013 except safeword. And my top, who I trusted completely, knew it. This is the kind of play that becomes possible only between players who are highly experienced and who trust each other a lot. (Important note: Yes, I trusted my top a lot. Imagine how much _they_ trusted _me:_ what if I'd awakened the next morning and decided I'd been assaulted? What chance would they have had if I'd gone to the police and shown my marks? Trust works both ways in edgeplay of this kind.)\n\nThe reason I choose to include these thoughts in a book on spanking is because spanking is sometimes extreme in sensation and punitive in nature, which means it sometimes encompasses both physical and emotional suffering. If you intend to engage in intense spanking, please consider such issues carefully before proceeding.\n\n1Not that a few of us haven't tried it!\n\n1A bottom is the person getting spanked - and, of course, also the part of them getting spanked.\n\n1A safeword is a code that someone uses to express that they really need things slowed down or stopped. See Chapter 5.\n\n2A term coined by my friend Sadie Damascus.\n\n1For more information about altered states of consciousness during spanking and/or BDSM, please check out Dossie Easton's and my book \"Radical Ecstasy: SM Journeys in Transcendence.\"\n\n2Except for an occasional sore palm.\n\n1A persona is an aspect of yourself that comes out in a particular circumstance - like a spanking scene, for example.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Compose a section for a book about spanking that focuses on the anatomy of the spankee. This section should include information about the bones, nerves, and muscles of the buttocks, as well as the skin and the marks that can be left by spanking. Provide advice on how to avoid causing injury and describe the different types of marks that might result from spanking, such as welts, bruises, and blisters. Also, discuss the concept of \"leatherbutt\" and the importance of not making promises about not leaving marks. Finally, touch on the topic of cleaning spanking toys and the risks of using contaminated toys on multiple partners.", "response": "\n\n4\\. Anatomy of a Spankee\n\n**THE BUTT IS A TOUGH PART OF THE BODY.** It's mostly fat and muscle, with most of its bones and major nerves buried pretty deeply. Nevertheless, it's a good idea to know enough about its anatomy to avoid doing damage, and to focus on the most pleasurable spots.\n\nYou can refer to the drawing on p. 26 to follow this section.\n\nStarting from the inside, the _bones_ of the butt are mostly the pelvis and the femurs (thigh bones), which are all large, sturdy bones. Unless you are spanking someone extremely elderly or frail, you don't need to worry about injuring the pelvis or femur.\n\nHowever, the butt also covers the lower end of the spine \u2013 the coccyx (COK-six), or tailbone. The tailbone tapers off approximately one-fourth to one-third of the way down the crack of the butt. It is relatively fragile, and quite sensitive to pain. A hard blow to the tailbone can cause damage that may require medical intervention to heal. It also feels extremely unpleasant and non-erotic to almost everybody. Therefore, before you spank someone hard (particularly with a heavy implement like a paddle), use your fingers to locate the end of their tailbone, and/or have them show you where it is.1 Avoid spanking on or near this spot.\n\nLess likely but still possible is damage to the _trochanteric bursa,_ a little bag of fluid that cushions the motion of the leg inside the hip socket. Although the bursa lies fairly deep inside a lot of protective tissue, it can be damaged by a hard stroke with a heavy object, and can cause a painful and long-lasting condition.\n\nMoving up through the tissues of the butt, the next area of concern is the _nerves._ The major nerve in the butt area is the _sciatic nerve,_ which is the body's largest nerve. As you can see from the illustration, it starts at the pelvis and comes down the back of the thigh, buried deeply in the thigh muscles. Some cases are on record of long-term damage to the sciatic nerve from heavy paddling (usually in a fraternity hazing context).\n\nTo avoid injuries to deeper tissues, keep in mind that bent-over positions stretch out the muscles of the butt and thigh, and thus offer less protection to the sciatic nerve. If you are going to hit hard with a spanking implement that is heavy in weight, it's a good idea to have your spankee either standing up or lying face down. The heavier the implement and the harder the blow, the less bent-over they should be. (If you think they look sexy bent over grabbing their ankles, stick to lighter, stingier implements.)\n\nOn a happier neurological note, examining a map of the human nervous system can help explain why so many of us get so turned on being spanked. The lower inner portion of the butt is fed by a nerve group called the posterior S4 dermatome1. If you had a similar map of the front of the body, you'd see that the S4 dermatome is shared by the genitals. Many spanking fans refer to this low and inside area as the \"sweet spot,\" because being spanked there feels so good. A slightly broader area of the buttocks is fed by the posterior S3 dermatome, which also connects to the pubic area. Thus, smart spankers keep their victims coming back for more by focusing their attention on the lower inner quadrant of the buttocks. Of course, spanks can also be administered to other parts of the buttocks and upper thighs, but the smacks that keep your bottom moaning in that marvelous blend of ecstatic pain and pleasure are likely to be blows to the sweet spot.\n\nWhen it comes to _muscles_ , the majority of blows to the butt will land on the _gluteus maximus_ , a large, strong muscle that covers most of the buttock area. You may also land some blows on the long, heavy muscles of the upper and inner thigh. Most people of normal size and fitness have very strong muscles in this area that do an excellent job of protecting underlying structures. If you are playing with a very slender, weak or elderly person, you might wish to stick to lighter, stingier toys, rather than heavy ones that might damage nerves or bones.\n\nThe pubococcygeal (Kegel) muscles, and the sphincter muscles of the rectum, tend to clench and unclench reflexively during a spanking. These muscles are linked directly to the nerves of pleasure, so many people find that this kind of rhythmic clenching leads directly to erotic turn-on.\n\n_Avoid spanking above the top of the asscrack or below the midpoint of the thighs._ About a hand-width above the bony protection of the pelvis, parallel to the elbows, lie the kidneys, which can be easily damaged by strong blows. The lower backs of the thighs and knees, where the thigh muscles thin out, contain relatively fragile tendons, ligaments and large blood vessels, and are too delicate to be struck in most people.\n\nThe _skin_ of the butt is well fed with many small blood vessels. Many of the marks left by spanking result from damage to tiny capillaries (small blood vessels); the capillaries are broken and a small amount of blood is released under the skin. If your partner is taking any blood-thinning drug \u2013 which includes aspirin, ibuprofen, alcohol or coumadin \u2013 they will probably bruise more easily than usual. If it's important not to leave marks, avoid such drugs for twenty-four hours before play.\n\nMarks\n\nLet's talk about some of the kinds of marks that can be left by a spanking. Mild spankings simply increase the circulation into the skin of the spanked area, turning it rosy and making it warm to the touch. This color usually fades away completely within an hour or two.\n\nHeavier spankings may cause the skin to raise up in a ridge or bump, usually pink or red in color, that we call a _welt._ Depending on the individual, welts may fade almost immediately, or may hang around for weeks.1 (Hot water from a shower or tub may bring a healed welt back up again \u2013 a fact learned to the embarrassment of one of my bottoms, who made the mistake of showering a week after our scene in the locker room of his branch of the armed forces!)\n\nSome spankings may also leave _bruises._ Post-spanking bruising can range from a tiny darkened mark through deep blackish-purple hematomas covering the entire buttock area. Bruising can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks to fade all the way from black to green to yellow to gone.\n\nCanes leave a unique two-tracked mark, sometimes called a \"tramline,\" that's somewhere between a welt and a bruise. I will attempt to explain the mechanism behind tramlines in Appendix D, \"Some Special Notes on Caning.\"\n\nSome spankings, particularly those with wooden paddles, rough-textured toys or toys with holes, can also \"blister\" or abrade the skin. For reasons I will detail in Chapter 8, \"The Stages of a Scene,\" it is best to avoid spanking play that actually blisters. Some people seem much more prone to this kind of injury than others; I've only experienced it twice in my career as a spankee. A blistered butt will look raw and oozy, and feel sticky to the touch. In extreme cases, it may even bleed. This type of mark takes the longest of all to heal, and may leave that part of the skin permanently susceptible to future abrasion.\n\nFor some people, any of the kinds of marks I've described here would cause a real problem. People who are in monogamous relationships with others, and people whose bodies are on display (such as dancers and models), have to be especially careful not to walk around marked. Some people have conditions \u2013 diabetes, or medications that decrease blood clotting \u2013 that mean you need to be especially careful about marks for fear of causing serious medical problems. Some people who normally don't mind being marked have to be careful when they're scheduled an appointment with a doctor, chiropractor or bodyworker, or a trip to the beach or hot tub.1 Other people simply don't like the idea of wearing the evidence of their sexual predilections on their skin.\n\nNovice spankees tend to have very tender butts that often mark easily; experienced spankers often develop skin which is tougher and thicker, so that they require more vigorous spankings to get where they want to go, and often tend not to mark easily. I've heard this condition called \"leatherbutt\" and \"rhino butt.\" If your partner has a leather butt, they'll know it and tell you so. If they haven't told you so, assume that they mark easily, and behave accordingly.\n\nNever, ever promise anyone that you won't mark them \u2013 although it's certainly fine to promise to try your best to avoid it.1 It's impossible to know how easily someone marks if you've never played with them before. And people's markability varies from one session to the next, based on their health, their state of mind, what medications they're taking, and where they are in their menstrual cycle, if they have one. However, a long slow warm-up so that everybody stays relaxed, plus a careful choice of toys, can help reduce the chances of marking. Spanking someone through their underwear or another light garment can also reduce the chances of welts and abrasions, although it doesn't do much to prevent bruising (and can prevent the top from seeing any damage that's being done to the skin).\n\nIf you're trying not to mark someone but do so anyway, take a look in the \"Troubleshooting\" chapter for some ideas for healing marks quickly.\n\nIf any mark has broken the skin \u2013 which means that if _any_ sign of oozing or bleeding is present, no matter how small \u2013 it is important that you clean the toy extremely well before using it on anyone else, or, better yet, set the toy aside for use on that bottom only. The same rule applies if the toy has gotten semen, vaginal fluid, urine or feces on it. HIV, hepatitis and other diseases can be spread by carelessly using a contaminated toy on another bottom. See Appendix C for some techniques for cleaning spanking toys.\n\n1It's probably not where you think it is. There's a ridge of flesh fairly high up between the cheeks that many people think is the tailbone, but the actual bone is generally a couple of inches lower than that.\n\n1If you imagine your spinal cord as the trunk of a tree, the dermatomes are its major branches.\n\n1Many people find that the more they get spanked, the less likely they are to be marked. My understanding about this phenomenon is that the small blood vessels move deeper into the skin with repeated stimuli.\n\n1For help in finding health care practitioners who can deal with your spanking interest, check the Resource Guide.\n\n1I know people who have encountered SERIOUS problems in their relationships after showing up at home with unwanted (and unexpected) marks.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Compose a section for a book about spanking that focuses on communication and mood. This section should include information on the importance of negotiation before a spanking scene, topics to discuss during negotiation, and tips for maintaining communication during the scene. Discuss the concept of safewords and their importance in maintaining safety and consent. Also, provide advice on how to maintain appropriate dialogue and mood during role-playing and age play scenes. Finally, touch on the use of props and costumes to enhance the spanking experience.", "response": "\n\n5\\. Communication and Mood\n\n**SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME OF** your spanking scene takes place before anybody's underpants go down. Talking straightforwardly about what kinds of activities interest you, about your desires and limits, is an essential part of making your spanking work. Without this negotiation process, tops are put in the awkward position of having to read bottoms' minds, and bottoms spend the entire spanking tense and on edge, wondering if the top is about to do something that the bottom really doesn't like. Hardly a formula for a successful interaction!\n\nMany people aren't used to talking honestly about their erotic needs, so negotiation can be awkward if you're not used to it.1 It does get easier with practice \u2013 skilled negotiators can whiz through such conversations with dazzling ease.\n\nI suggest that you and your partner have this discussion well before you get together to do your spanking scene. By the time you get together and are feeling all hot and bothered, your eagerness may lead you into making compromises that aren't a good idea. It's much easier to say \"No, thanks,\" to a spanking that hasn't been planned yet than it is to walk away from an imminent scene.\n\nHere are some of the topics you should probably discuss:2\n\n\u2022 _The spanking itself._ Hands only? Implements? Which implements are OK, which are to be used with caution, which are off limits?1 Any parts of the butt that don't like to be hit? Is it OK to hit anywhere besides the butt and, if so, where? Will it cause any problems if the spanking leaves marks?\n\n\u2022 _Sex._ Will the spanking include any sexual interaction? If so, what kind? What are both parties' standards for safer sex: which activities are safe enough to do without a barrier, which ones require a barrier, which are too unsafe to do at all?2 Who will be in charge of providing safer sex materials such as condoms, gloves and lubricant?\n\n\u2022 _Roles._ Who will top, and who will bottom?3 Will the spanking include any role-playing such as teacher/ student, owner/slave, adult/child or captor/captive?\n\n\u2022 _Related activities._ Will the spanking include any bondage, and, if so, in what positions and with what materials? Will other activities such as role-playing, humiliation games, or enemas be involved?\n\n\u2022 _Physical limits._ Does either partner have any physical conditions that should be taken into account? Common physical limits include heart trouble; back trouble; easy bruising due to anemia, diabetes or anticlotting medication; breathing difficulty; vertigo; seizure disorders; circulatory problems.\n\n_When both partners are physically comfortable, mutually trusting, and relaxed, a spanking can go on for a long time and is more likely to lead to arousal and/or orgasm._\n\n\u2022 _Emotional limits._ Does either partner have any history of being abused or assaulted? If so, what activities might trigger unwanted flashbacks to the abuse?\n\n\u2022 _Communication during the scene._ How will you let each other know if something isn't working out right? (Some suggestions follow.)\n\nStraightforward verbal communication\n\nIn all consensual erotic spanking scenes, from the most lovingly playful to the harshest, it is essential to maintain good ongoing communication and feedback between the top and the bottom. Getting or giving the information you need to, without interfering with whatever roles or fantasies you may be playing out, is one of the highest arts of any form of erotic power exchange.\n\nOften, communication may take place in the simplest of verbal forms: \"I'm getting a cramp in my thigh,\" \"This is scaring me \u2013 let's back off a bit,\" \"Wait; did you hear someone in the hallway?\" Such communications are clear and straightforward, and need not interfere more than momentarily in the scene: accomplished players get very fluid about stopping for a moment to take care of a problem, then dropping back into role almost immediately.\n\n\"One to Ten\"\n\nWhen you're playing with a new bottom or with a new toy or technique, it can become important to calibrate the sensations \u2013 some bottoms are bored by spankings that would send other bottoms into traumatic hysteria. An excellent way for tops to gain information about a new sensation is called \"one to ten.\"\n\nIn this technique, the top delivers one extremely gentle stroke, hardly more than laying the hand or implement onto the bottom's skin, and explains, \"That was a 'one' on a scale of one to ten. 'Ten' would be the hardest I'm willing to hit you. For the next few minutes, I want you to use that number scale to tell me how hard a stroke you want to feel. I won't hit you anyplace but on your butt, and I won't hit you until you tell me to.\"\n\nAfter a few minutes of this type of communication, the top has some idea of the bottom's desires, and the bottom has had a chance to relax into the idea of being spanked. Both partners can decide together when it's time to stop one-to-tenning and to turn over more control to the top.\n\nSafewords\n\nWhen spankees like to pretend that we're not consenting to this terrible, horrible, awful thing that's happening to us, communication can become tricky. Many if not most spankophiles have fantasies of nonconsent, and enjoy expressing ourselves in that fashion \u2013 and it can be very difficult for a top to know exactly what you mean by your ecstatic shrieks of \"No! Please! Stop!\"\n\nThus was born the safeword. One of the key tools in helping to keep spanking play physically and emotionally safe for all concerned, a safeword is simply a code word that means \"Something about this really isn't working for me, and we need to stop and talk about it.\"\n\nMany players have two safewords \u2013 one that means \"Slow down for a second and give me a chance to talk; there's something I need to tell you\" and a second that means \"Stop this scene right now; something is seriously wrong.\" In the U.S. these are often \"yellow\" and \"red,\" but you can use whatever words you like1 as long as they're easy for both players to remember and pronounce.\n\nAlthough people tend to think of safewords as something that bottoms use when a sensation becomes too intense, my experience with them is that they're really used that way less often than you might think. They tend to come up when someone in the scene is having a physical or emotional problem, which may or may not be related to the spanking itself \u2013 illness, recognition of a real-world problem (\"Oh my God, I was supposed to be home a half hour ago!\"), or awareness of physical or emotional danger. Tops can and do safeword too, if something in the scene becomes too intense or difficult for them.\n\nSome players resent the idea of safewords, feeling that they give the bottom too much control over what's going on. My belief is that, in a consensual scene, there are always safewords \u2013 verbal or physical cues that the bottom can use to say \"Stop this right now.\" Since I think \"red\" is politer than \"take your fucking hands off me or I'm calling the cops,\" I prefer to use prenegotiated safewords.2\n\nIf you don't enjoy role-playing nonconsent, then you may choose to use everyday language instead \u2013 in fact, unless a safeword has been explicitly negotiated, \"no\" and \"stop\" mean \"no\" and \"stop.\" My point is simply that communication in spanking scenes needs to be clear and unambiguous.\n\nIn some cases, a bottom cannot safeword for some reason \u2013 sometimes because they have a gag in their mouth, and sometimes because they've gone into a deeply emotional, non-verbal state, and have forgotten the whole concept. Many players have developed some sort of gesture they can use as a safeword equivalent. One popular one is the \"two squeezes\"1 technique: the top takes hold of some part of the bottom's body, often a hand, and gives it two firm squeezes, which asks the bottom, \"Are you OK with what's going on?\" The bottom gives back two squeezes in response. If the response is not forthcoming, the top repeats the question; if the bottom is still unresponsive, it's time to stop the scene and communicate verbally.\n\nI've talked to other players who have evolved other nonverbal codes such as thumbs up/thumbs down, or giving the bottom some sort of noisemaking device like a clicker or squeaky toy, which they can squeeze to alert the top if they get into trouble. Any of these can work, as long as each of you understands what the other's signals mean.\n\nRole-playing\n\nOne of the trickiest parts of communicating during spanking play is maintaining appropriate dialogue and mood. If you enjoy spanking as sensuous foreplay only, you may not choose to explore this kind of fantasy play. But if you have fantasies of being a child and a punitive teacher, or a slave and a demanding master, or a puppy and a scolding owner, a certain amount of theater will help keep the fantasy alive.\n\nHowever, many players find this kind of role-playing difficult, making them feel self-conscious and silly. How can you get past that awkwardness to create the scenes you enjoy?\n\n_The helplessness and exposure of \"diaper position\" can lend itself well to age play. It does require a certain amount of strength on the part of the spanker, and it may restrict the spankee's breathing to some degree, so it's generally best kept in brief intervals rather than used for a prolonged scene._\n\nOne good guideline to keep in mind is to _keep it simple._ As a human being, you are blessed with the gift of imagination: you don't need an entire pirate movie set, complete with ship; perhaps a genteelly evil partner with a ruffled shirt, plus a few convincing lines of dialogue, will do the trick.\n\nMany spanking devotees are strongly eroticized to certain key words or phrases: the word \"spanking\" itself, descriptions like \"naughty,\" appellations like \"young lady,\" directions like \"get those trousers down,\" or predictions like \"you won't sit down for a week\" get many, many people's juices flowing. Clever tops watch their bottoms for a sudden blush or quickening of the breath when such phrases are used. Likewise, bottoms often enjoy arousing their tops with a judicious bit of pleading or whimpering.\n\nOne of the secrets of role-playing is that the more aroused you are, the more natural the role seems. In the beginning of the scene, when both of you are a little self-conscious and not yet turned on, such dialogue may seem awkward. I recommend that you say it anyway, and say it as convincingly as you can: I can almost guarantee that a nice surge of hardness or wetness \u2013 your own and your partner's \u2013 will reward your efforts. As you get more turned on, the phrases will seem less and less silly, and more and more arousing, until you're both in full (so to speak) swing.\n\nAnother option is to use a different route to get turned on before you launch into your roleplay. If there's a physical activity that rings your chimes, whether it's cuddling or kissing or chewing on necks or sucking toes or whatever, give it a try. You'll probably discover that the role that seemed silly and juvenile when you were in your ordinary state of consciousness seems accessible and hot once you're turned on.\n\nThose who like their scenes theatrical may enjoy experimenting with props and costumes \u2013 many a spankophile has been elated by fashion trends toward schoolgirl-style pleated skirts and knee socks for adults. If you enjoy that kind of thing and have the time and money for clothes shopping, go for it.1 But even if you don't, a little mental scene-setting, combined with imaginative dialogue well-spiced with time-honored spanking phrases, will get your scene off and running.\n\n1Negotiation should be fun! Since when is talking dirty a chore?\n\n2For more detailed help with negotiation, check out some of the books and websites listed in the Resource Guide.\n\n1I often lay out all my toys before a scene, and ask my bottom to show me any that they really don't want to be spanked with. Eliminated toys get put back in the bag so that I don't forget in the heat of the moment.\n\n2First rule of safer sex negotiation: the more conservative partner wins. Always.\n\n3 _I once negotiated a whole scene with a friend at a play party. We walked out into the middle of the dungeon to set up our toys, then stood there staring at one another. Turned out each of us thought the other one was going to top._\n\n1I've heard that some people use \"411\" for \"information\" and \"911\" for \"emergency.\"\n\n2Some people who use spanking as genuine punishment feel that safewords interfere with the process. A reasonable compromise, in my opinion, is to allow the bottom a safeword that they can use in case of emergency - illness, emotional meltdown, a real-world problem like a knock at the front door - but not because the spanking is overly intense.\n\n1My colleague Jay Wiseman introduced this technique in his book \"SM 101: A Realistic Introduction.\" It works very well.\n\n1Thrift shops are your friend.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Compose a section for a book about spanking that explores various spanking fantasies. Divide these fantasies into two categories: those that depict the bottom succumbing to the pain or power of the spanking (\"losing scenes\") and those that portray the bottom overcoming a difficult stimulus (\"winning scenes\"). Provide examples of each type of scene and offer advice on how to negotiate and maintain safety during these scenarios. Also, include a brief note on the importance of consent and limits in all spanking fantasies and activities.", "response": "\n\n6\\. Spanking Fantasies\n\n**IN A PREVIOUS CHAPTER, I DISCUSSED AT** length some of the deep emotional scripts that underlie most spanking play. These scripts are often acted out within the context of a story \u2013 a story that we keep in our own heads, which we call a \"fantasy,\" or a story that we act out with a partner, which we call a \"scene.\"\n\nMany people are turned off or intimidated by the idea of doing a full-on role-play (teacher and student, pirate and captive, jailer and prisoner). Whether or not you choose to go the roleplaying route \u2013 and I hope you'll consider it, because there's a lot of fun to be had there \u2013 it's still useful to use the idea of fantasies to define the general flavor of your spanking play: will it be playful and giggly, harsh and punitive, stern and for-your-own-good, offhanded and matter-of-fact? A mismatch in this area can lead to a lukewarm, or possibly even very upsetting, scene.\n\nFor this reason, I find it useful to divide spanking fantasies into two categories: fantasies that are about being taken down, overcome, made small; and fantasies that are about powerfully prevailing over a difficult stimulus. The reason I make this distinction is because I've seen things go very wrong when one partner wants the first kind of scene, the other wants the second, and nobody notices this difference until the scene is under way: you can see how a top who is striving to take a bottom down could run into problems with a bottom who wants to conquer an ordeal. Thus, it's best to talk over your goals for the scene before anybody actually takes their pants down. For the sake of brevity, I'm going to call these \"losing scenes\" and \"winning scenes.\"\n\n\"Losing Scenes\"\n\nLosing scenes are those in which the bottom eventually succumbs to the pain or power of the spanking. Because real-world spanking is generally enacted upon children, prisoners and others without power, the fantasies we build around spanking play are far more likely to be about losing.\n\nSome of the commonest spanking fantasies have to do with _age play_. In these, one or both partners, usually the bottom, acts the part of someone younger than they really are. An age play bottom may be a cuddly, dependent infant, a fractious toddler, a naughty schoolchild, a rebellious teenager, a fraternity or sorority pledge. An age play top may be a nice or mean Mommy or Daddy, a strict schoolteacher or governess, a gung-ho coach, a sadistic frat boy, or another child (come on, didn't you and the other kids play spanking games together?). Age games give us a chance to relive our childhoods in an environment of safety and love, with a very unchildlike opportunity for adult sexual fun afterwards.1 They require some special safeguards to make sure that one adult can speak to one another out of role when necessary, and to avoid triggering unexpected regressions to genuine childhood trauma (see Chapter 6, \"Communication and Mood,\" for more information on how to set up these safeguards).\n\nOther spanking fantasies have to do with _discipline._ Although few of us would actually like to be involved with a Singaporean judicial-style caning, many of us have fantasies about punishing or being punished in such an environment. Prison strappings, military discipline, and other adult discipline situations also have their adherents, particularly among gay men. However, acting out such a fantasy doesn't mean that you get to overlook your partner's real needs for warmup, communication, and nurturing, particularly if your partner is relatively new to spanking play; if you can't find ways to build those things directly into the narrative of your scene, take breaks when you need them to make sure everyone's OK.\n\n_The wheelbarrow position requires the ongoing, active participation of a fit spankee. Well worth it, considering the degree of sexual access it offers!_\n\nAnd many spanking fans do their thing within the context of _contractual agreement._ The bottom has given their partner (sometimes referred to as the Head of Household, or HoH) the right to punish them for certain prenegotiated transgressions \u2013 breaking agreements with themselves or their partner, engaging in activities that both have agreed are harmful, and so on. I discuss this sort of agreement at greater length in Chapter 11, \"Spanking Relationships.\"\n\nAnd finally, there is the spanking delivered as part of an _ownership_ agreement. The bottom here may be a slave, or an animal like a pup or pony. The top may be spanking the bottom for his own pleasure, or as a disciplinary measure ( _\"bad_ dog!\"). Underlying the spanking is the fantasy that the owner has the right to use his property in any way he sees fit. I don't have to tell you, of course, that this is the twenty-first century, and that nobody has the \"right\" to spank another adult \u2013 ownership fantasies, like any other, require careful attention to the realities of consent and limits.\n\n\"Winning Scenes\"\n\nWinning scenes are generally those that start from a presumption of equal power, where one person is receiving pain in order to prevail over a difficult circumstance.\n\nThe commonest winning scene by far is the _sexual_ or _erotic_ spanking. For reasons I explained in the previous chapter, many people find the proper strong stimulus to the buttocks to be a sexual turn-on, sometimes even to the point of orgasm. It's hard to imagine more of a win-win scenario than a spanking that ends with everyone coming! Sexual spankings don't necessarily need any fantasy or any excuse, any more than any other sexual activity: they're just for fun and mutual pleasure.\n\n_Captivity_ scenes are often, but not always, about winning. The top in such a scene may be a rapist, kidnapper, inquisitor, interrogator, or whatever their taste runs to; the bottom is a powerful person who has been taken down by circumstances beyond their control: a pirate conquering a captive maiden1 would be one example. However, it is often best before such a scene to collaborate in deciding whether the ultimate goal is for the maiden to retain her virtue \u2013\"Never, you foul pig!\" \u2013 or whether the pirate will eventually spank the maiden into a receptive state to his piratical desires.\n\nAnother winning scene is the _ordeal_ or _shamanistic_ scene, which is fully collaborative, with the top agreeing to push the bottom into a catharsis or a spiritual journey. These are scenes that people most often come to after some years of spanking or being spanked, as they bear little resemblance to the fantasies that brought most of us into this activity in the first place. Nevertheless, as people pursue their spanking journey and discover the extraordinary rewards that lie on the end of extreme sensation play, many feel drawn to this experience.\n\nTopping in a winning scene can be a little bit like driving with one foot on the accelerator and the other on the brake: at the same time as you're working to appear cruel, heartless and sadistic, you're keeping a close eye on your partner for signs of genuine distress or overload. The same cautions apply to these scenes as to any other \u2013 don't get carried away with your roles, and check in with one another often.\n\nThese are just a few of the commonest fantasies and scripts enjoyed by spankers and spankees the world over; I'm sure you've got a few tasty ones of your own. But maybe these will give you a few new ideas and a bit of insight into the ideas that your fertile mind has already conjured.\n\n1Be careful about engaging sexually with someone who is still in \"kid space.\" It's a good idea to discuss ahead of time whether the \"kid\" is strong enough to manage adult sexuality, and to steer clear if they aren't.\n\n1Did pirates really spank their captives? Who cares?\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that focuses specifically on advice for bottoms. Discuss techniques for processing pain during a spanking, including staying relaxed, scanning the body for tension, focusing on breathing, and mentally transforming the sensation of pain. Also, provide tips on how to care for the skin after a spanking, including daily habits, precautions before and after play, and immediate post-play treatments.", "response": "\n\n7\\. For Bottoms\n\n**FAR TOO MANY SPANKING AND BDSM** books, in my opinion, focus almost exclusively on the skills brought to the scene by the top. Bottoms are \u2013 duh! \u2013 an integral part of a spanking scene, and the skills of a great bottom are both learnable and well worth learning.\n\nPain Processing\n\nBy virtue of the length of this book, I can't go into a great deal of detail here about pain processing techniques \u2013 there's really another whole book to be written about that. But the basic thing you need to know is that the more relaxed you can stay, the more you'll be able to accept and enjoy your spanking.\n\n\"Sure,\" you're thinking, \"that's easy for her to say, sitting at her keyboard typing.\" Well, you have a point. But, honestly, I've taken some pretty spectacular spankings in my day, and, truly, the trick is to stay as loose as you can, and there are ways to do it, and I can help you learn some of them.\n\nMost of us react to pain with immediate, instinctive panic \u2013 and with good reason: most of the pain we experience in our lives is a red-light-and-siren signal that something's seriously wrong: we're sick, we're injured, someone is violently angry at us. But when our wayward libidos drive us to experience spanking, we've just turned all the rules upside down, and all of a sudden we're experiencing pain when there's nothing seriously wrong, and in fact a lot of things are quite seriously right. And yet the habit of panic often persists.\n\nSo the first thing I want you to learn to do is to run a \"panic scan\" through your body. From time to time during your spanking, when you have a moment that isn't too over whelmingly intense, just run a quick laser beam of attention from your toes all the way up your body, paying special attention to the places where you know tension likes to hide (in many people these are the asshole, belly, chest, shoulders, throat, neck, hands and/or face). Anyplace you find a pocket of tension, take a deep breath into it, and then blow it back out \u2013 sometimes shaking the body part will help.\n\nNext, start paying attention to your breathing. Panicky people tend to breathe high up in their chests, with tight little panicky breaths \u2013 you can hear it in their high squeaky voices, if they're making noise. I want you to try to keep your breath low and slow and deep down in your belly, so that your noises come out moaning, or growling like a tiger.\n\nFinally, I want you to try playing with the pain in your mind. Take that paddle stroke that's just lit up your butt with pain \u2013 but is it really pain you're feeling? Could it be\u2026heat? Hmmm\u2026maybe that's it, the nice glowing heat of the August sun as you bake yourself on the beach. Or is it color, the searing orange of the fireworks you saw last Fourth of July? Or the pure high note of a single perfect trumpet? Hey, it's your pain, yours to play with, and you can ride it anywhere your mind can take you.\n\n_Important note:_ These pain processing tips will probably help you process some sensations that you couldn't handle before. They won't help you with all sensations. There will be times that you don't want to ride on top of the sensation, and there will probably be tops who don't want you to, and there will be plenty of times that you won't be able to anyway. Nonetheless, my experience has been that knowing how to do this stuff means that you can have more fun for a longer time doing more kinds of spankings than not knowing it \u2013 so get practicing!\n\nTaking Care of Your Hide\n\nAs a general rule, the more spankings you accept, the better your skin will hold up to them \u2013 most experienced spankees I know mark very little if at all. But if you're new to spanking, you may find your butt the day after a spanking looking rather spectacularly multicolored.\n\nGenerally, this kind of mayhem is harmless \u2013 it's what doctors call a \"self-limiting condition,\" meaning if you just leave it alone it gets better by itself. But it can be a nuisance, icky to look at and uncomfortable to sit on. To minimize marking, follow these guidelines:\n\n_Every day:_\n\n\u2022Take a good quality multivitamin.\n\n\u2022Moisturize the skin on your butt with a deep-acting moisturizer. (I'm a fan of Eucerin Original Cream, but plain coconut oil works well too.)\n\n\u2022Drink plenty of water.\n\n_Twenty-four hours before and after play:_\n\n\u2022Avoid aspirin, ibuprofen and other blood-thinning drugs.\n\n_Immediately after play:_\n\n\u2022Place an icepack on the affected area for twenty minutes. Repeat every two hours for twenty-four hours (or until you get bored with the whole thing).\n\n\u2022If welts are present, they may be minimized by taking 50 mg of diphenhydramine (Benadryl). However, Benadryl makes many people very drowsy, and welts tend to go away fairly quickly on their own, so unless they're really bugging you, I probably wouldn't bother.\n\n\u2022Some people find that their marks seem to go away faster if they use arnica, an herbal remedy from the health food store, in sublingual tablets and/or topical cream.\n\n_For a few days after play:_\n\n\u2022If your skin isn't broken, commercial heat wraps, available in drugstores, may help speed healing of bruises.\n\n\u2022Be careful about public showers, hot tubs and steam baths \u2013 the heat may reawaken marks you thought had faded (embarrassing!).\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that details the stages of a scene. Start with the warmup phase, discussing its importance and providing tips on how to effectively warm up a bottom. Next, discuss specific turn-ons for spanking enthusiasts, such as scolding, denuding, and key words. Then, describe the different stages of skin reactions during a spanking, from pinkening to blistering, and provide advice on how to avoid unwanted marks. Finally, discuss the importance of aftercare, including the need for cuddling, nurturing, and communication between partners.", "response": "\n\n8\\. Stages of a Scene\n\n**SO THERE YOU ARE, FACE-TO-FACE WITH** your spanking partner. What happens next?\n\nWarmup\n\nEven the greediest masochist is unlikely to have a good time if you start a scene with half a dozen full-armed strokes from your heaviest paddle. To take your bottom to bliss, you have to start slowly, with a nice warmup \u2013 bringing up their circulation, letting their endorphins rev up, helping them relax into the sensation.\n\nI've seen tops linger for as much as an hour over warmup, starting with gentle caresses, escalating slowly to little pats, then to light smacks, then to harder spanks\u2026progressing to the intense stuff only when the bottoms are so thoroughly blissed out that they're pushing their backsides out to meet the paddle, and laughing ecstatically as the strokes fall.\n\nFor certain types of scenes, such as punishment scenes, you may wish to skip warmup, deliberately making it difficult for your bottom to process and enjoy the pain. I recommend that you try this only with a bottom you know very well and have played with often. If you do try it, expect your bottom to mark much more easily than usual, and be prepared for a strong emotional reaction of fear, anger and/or sadness.\n\nIn general, however, I recommend as much warmup as your patience and arm can accommodate. Few bottoms mind a slow-building warmup, and for many, it's essential. If your bottom is at all tense or nervous, or if it's been a long time since they've last played, take some extra time during warmup.\n\nRemember, warmup is for tops too \u2013 it's a time to get in touch with your bottom, to limber up your own arm and shoulder to help prevent injuries, to get yourself into role, to establish the rhythm and flow of the scene. A warmup is to spanking what foreplay is to sex: don't rush it!\n\nTurn-ons\n\nFor many spankers and spankees, specific moments and phrases are integral to their enjoyment of the scene. Many experienced players will be able to tell you ahead of time what their specific hot-buttons are, so that you can push them expertly. Others don't know yet, or are too shy to say \u2013 so you'll have to watch them carefully to see when you get an ecstatic shudder or blush or gasp. Here are some typical turn-ons for spanking folk:\n\n\u2022 _Scolding._ Scolding fits well into punishment and \"funishment\" scenes, and can also have its place in other kinds of scenes \u2013 but for some bottoms it's a complete turn-off, so watch carefully if you decide to try it. A good scolder is able to detail the spankee's exact (real or imagined) transgression and to describe exactly why it was so completely unacceptable, without making them feel genuinely bad or degraded (unless that's what both partners desire). Some tops like to punctuate the scolding with spanks, others like to spank for a while and then stop to scold.\n\nScolding can make the difference between stoical acceptance and cathartic tears. It's powerful stuff.\n\n\u2022 _Denuding._ An extremely powerful moment for many spankees is the one in which their top removes first their outer clothing and then their underwear, or instructs them to take it off. I've met bottoms for whom the moment of having their underwear taken down is more exciting than the actual spanking. A real-world benefit to denuding your bottom is that it both makes the spanking hurt more and allows you to see what effect you're having on the bottom's skin. (A compromise, for modest bottoms, is a g-string or thong underwear, which leave the butt exposed while covering the genitals. Some bottoms wear full-on underpants over a g-string so that they can have the thrill of having them taken down without losing their modesty.)\n\n\u2022 _Key words._ Some spankophiles respond vividly and erotically to particular words, so it's a good idea to build those words into your interaction with them. The word \"spank,\" of course, is classic (almost every spankophile I've met remembers the disturbingly hot feeling, as a child, of looking up the word \"spank\" in the dictionary). \"Panties\" is another, as is \"naughty.\" I'm sure you'll discover more as you investigate the reactions of different bottoms.\n\nSkin-Watching\n\nAs you spank, keep a close eye on your partner's hide. While newbie spankees will go through these phases much quicker than experienced ones, everyone will get to each phase eventually.\n\n_A squirmy butt, plus a heavy toy like a riding crop, can add up to marks in the wrong places. Fortunately, there are ways of holding a bottom down - this position, one of my favorites, uses the spanker's weight to hold the spankee in place._\n\n\u2022 _Pinkening._ The first thing that will happen as you spank is that the spanked area will begin to grow pink and warm.1 This phenomenon is caused by histamines rushing to the site of a potential injury, causing inflammation in order to protect the body. The pink area may be specific to the site of the spank \u2013 a single hand-spank may leave a clear handprint \u2013 or may be more generalized around the bottom's butt. Pinkening is unlikely to leave marks or to cause any significant problems.\n\n\u2022 _Reddening._ If you go on spanking, the skin will go from warm to hot, and from pink to a darker red, particularly over heavily spanked areas like the \"sit spot.\" At this point, bruising becomes a distinct possibility.1\n\n\u2022 _Leathering._ The next phase in a spanking is that the skin starts to thicken (another histaminic response). From the bottom's side, it feels \"crinkly,\" like a sunburn; from the top's, it feels like warm, moist cardboard. The color may be gray-purple. _Do not spank to this point if marking will be a problem!_\n\n\u2022 _Blistering._ If you continue to spank past the point of leathering, the skin will turn an eerie white/grey color, and eventually it will start to peel apart in layers, often exposing raw dermis underneath (which may weep a little plasma, thus necessitating a thorough cleaning of all toys that have touched the weepy spot).2 _I do not recommend spanking to the point of blistering,_ as the blister can cause permanent changes to the structure of the skin underneath: I have been unable to discover whether there are significant health risks involved, but it is certain that such blistering can leave a permanent weak spot in the skin, that will open and weep under relatively little spanking in the future. This is, in my opinion, a consequence of heavy spanking that is too seldom discussed.\n\nAftercare\n\nSo it's all over, and it was great. Your arm is almost as sore as your bottom's butt, and you're both breathing hard, excited and happy and satisfied.\n\nAlthough you don't often read about it in spanking porn, the time after the spanking is one of the most important parts of your play. A good spanking scene creates its own reality \u2013 a reality of intimate connection, of lowered boundaries and tremendous intimacy. Learning to cherish and prolong that reality is one of the high arts of spanking.\n\nAt a bare minimum, it's a good idea to spend a while cuddling and nurturing each other. Bottoms need support and nurturance as they emerge from the vulnerable space of the spanking back into everyday reality. Tops also need support \u2013 although many people fail to realize it, administering a spanking can be scary and guilt-inducing, and wise bottoms spend lots of time letting their tops know how much they enjoyed themselves and how grateful they are.\n\nIf you and your partner have agreed to have sex as part of your spanking scene, now is the time. You may feel like launching directly into hot and heavy fucking, or you may need some time of gentleness and quiet before you're ready to begin building sexual energy. Be sensitive to one another's cues in this area, and if your partner seems to be misreading you, it's fine to politely say so and ask for a little more \u2013 or less \u2013 recovery time.\n\nIf you haven't agreed to be sexual, it's still a good idea to spend some time together. A meal or a beverage, preferably at a table with nice soft chairs, can be a very pleasant way to decompress after a spanking. Or you can watch some TV, take a shower together, play a game \u2013 anything that allows the two of you to come out of your own special reality and back into the world in one another's company.\n\nPlease don't try to launch yourself back into the real world too soon after a spanking scene. In particular, making major decisions, operating a motor vehicle, or discussing a relationship during this time can lead to big mistakes. Think of yourself as having had a couple of stiff drinks, and care for yourself accordingly.1\n\nI recommend waiting a while before you try to talk about how you liked the scene or didn't like it, or what did or didn't work for you \u2013 the alternate reality of your spanking universe may still have a stronger grip on your mind and emotions than you realize. It's a very good idea, however, to check in with one another the next day, by phone or e-mail or, better yet, in person. During this conversation, you can compare notes, discuss what areas worked for you and merit further exploration, and figure out what areas didn't work so you can alter them in the future. It may also be a good idea to check in again a few days to a week after the scene, particularly if this partner is new to you, or if the spanking was unusually physically or emotionally intense.\n\nIt's not too rare for one or another partner to notice some aftershocks of anger, sadness or guilt after a spanking. These feelings don't usually mean that you were abused or that your top (or bottom) is a rotten person.1 It may help simply to know that these feelings are normal, and usually pass within a day or so. Some reassurance from your partner about how terrific the scene was for them can help, too, as can some self-nurturing behavior like a nice hot bath or massage. If these aftershocks seem uncomfortably strong, or persist for more than a couple of days, take a look at the Troubleshooting chapter for some help in handling them.\n\nAftercare helps distinguish the technically competent spankophile from the true artist \u2013 and it's fun, too. Don't skimp on it.\n\n1On a fair-skinned person, the color is the pink of a rose petal. On a dark-skinned person, it may be more of a dusky rose or bluish-purple - but whatever the individual's skin type may be, it will be darker and warmer than their unspanked skin.\n\n1If you prefer to avoid bruising, stick to broad, stingy implements - a plastic or lightweight leather paddle can be good for this. However, as always, it is impossible to guarantee that skin will not mark, particularly on inexperienced bottoms.\n\n2If the bottom has been wearing abrasive clothing against their skin, blistering may happen much sooner. I developed my \"weak spot\" during an otherwise fairly mild hairbrush spanking on a night when I'd been wearing a chain mail dress: sitting on the chain mail had left little indentations all over my butt, and it took amazingly little spanking to take me to the point of blistering.\n\n1This goes for tops too. A top's altered state of consciousness may not be as immediately apparent as a bottom's, but it's still there.\n\n1They also don't mean that you WEREN'T abused. Abuse sometimes happens during spankings, as it does during all human interactions. But try to wait until the immediate aftershocks of the spanking are over before you make that decision (unless, of course, your safeword or other unambiguous \"stop\" signal was ignored, in which case take a look at the Resource Guide).\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that focuses on the use of implements. Begin by emphasizing the importance of testing any toy on one's own body before using it on a partner. Then, discuss the spectrum of sensations provided by different implements, ranging from sting to thud. Provide tips on aiming and avoiding wrapping, especially with long or flexible toys. Discuss the various types of implements in detail, including hands, paddles, straps, birch rods, floggers, and canes. For each type, provide a description, potential sources, and any safety concerns or tips for use.", "response": "\n\n9\\. Implements\n\n**SO YOU'VE GOT YOUR BOTTOM WARMED UP** and panting for more. How do you keep up the good work? Part of your decision-making process may have to do with choosing and using spanking implements.\n\nResponsible tops don't use a toy on anybody else unless they've felt it on their own bodies. At minimum, give yourself several good sharp blows with a potential toy in a well-padded spot such as your upper back, thigh or butt. Better yet, have a trusted friend give you a few swats. This kind of precaution does not in any way diminish your authority as a top; it enhances it \u2013 you're not just a mean sonovabitch, you're a _careful_ mean sonovabitch.\n\nYou may hear spanking toys ranked on a spectrum ranging from _sting_ to _thud_. Stingy toys are felt mostly on the skin, with a sharp sensation; thuddy toys echo down into deeper structures of muscle and even bone. As a general rule, the heavier a toy is in proportion to its breadth, the thuddier it is. Stingy toys tend to leave welts and, with extreme use, can open skin; thuddy toys tend to leave bruises and can, with extreme use, cause damage to nerves and bones. Many bottoms have marked preferences for either sting or thud \u2013 which does not, of course, mean that you have to give them only the kinds of sensations they like, unless their preference is strong enough to be expressed as a definite limit.\n\nAim\n\nAim is important. I always enjoy looking at the aftermath of a spanking administered by a knowledgeable and experienced spanker: the rosy color is nicely concentrated in the sweet spot, with just enough pinkness spread around other parts of the butt area to let you know that the top wasn't too overly concerned with their bottom's pleasure only.\n\n_A \"slapper\" - two layers of fairly heavy leather sewn together at the handle but left separate at the striking end - can be purchased inexpensively in shops that sell horseback riding equipment. The smack of the two layers striking each other adds to the fierce sound of the spanking, without making it physically any more intense._\n\nThis kind of control is easy with a hand, and only slightly harder with a short, inflexible implement like a hairbrush. But how do you achieve such attractive results with toys that are long, floppy, or otherwise unwieldy? To explain, I need to talk a bit about the physics of spanking implements.\n\nBefore you read onward, please go get something longish and slimmish \u2013 a yardstick, a feather duster, a stick, a riding crop, whatnot \u2013 just so you can see what I'm talking about.\n\nNow, take it in your right hand, hold your hand out to your side, and move it in a wide arc in front of you from your right to your left. What part of it was traveling the fastest? The tip, right? (It goes the farthest in the same amount of time: hence, it's traveling the fastest.) That's very important. The tip travels fastest, and thus is going to hurt the most.\n\nFurthermore, even a fairly rigid implement, such as a cane or paddle, is not entirely rigid. A beginner's mistake is to aim the center of the implement at the target. You're standing there, looking at a beautiful butt, with a cane in your hand. \"Aha,\" you say. \"That right butt cheek looks just wonderful. I know \u2013 I will hit it with this cane.\" (I like the way you think.) So you aim the center of the cane at the center of the butt cheek, and let fly. Where is the tip of the cane, the part that's traveling the fastest, going to land? If the cane is very rigid, and you're not striking too hard, it'll land harmlessly in the air. If the cane is brittle, it will snap off and you'll have killed your cane. If the cane is whippy, it will snap around and score a nice hard welt, possibly even a blood blister, somewhere on your bottom's right hip, and your bottom will not like you one little bit.\n\nComplicating this point is the fact that many people naturally tend to lean forward when they hit harder in order to put greater force of their bodies into the blow \u2013 even relatively experienced tops sometimes wrap unintentionally this way: they've gotten their range with softer blows, then they go to land a hard one, lean forward and zing! right onto the hipbone. Got the picture?\n\nAim the tip of your implement at the area you want to hit, possibly even slightly a bit short of the area you want to hit to allow for overreaching.\n\nA secondary point about aim: If you look at a butt that's been thrashed by someone who's never taken a thrashing themselves (or who hasn't been taught by a knowledgeable top), you'll see marks from about the top of the buttcrack to about the bottom of the crease of the butt. However, about 90% of the bottoms I've played with have a strong preference for blows that land on the bottom half of the butt and \u2013 often but not always \u2013 the top few inches of the thighs. The exceptions are almost always those who like their beatings to have a genuine flavor of punishment.\n\nI have met very few bottoms who find anything erotic at all about blows to the top half of the butt. And almost no bottoms can tolerate blows anywhere in the area of the tailbone. (I'm sure such a bottom exists _somewhere_ , because somewhere there's a bottom who likes anything in the world \u2013 but so far I've never met one.)\n\nSo: unless your bottom tells you differently, I strongly suggest you concentrate your blows on the bottom half of the butt, and probably on the inner portion of each cheek. Ask about strokes to the thighs: some bottoms love them, some bottoms hate them, essentially all bottoms find them harder to take than strokes to the ass.\n\nThe cure for wrapping is a combination of practice and feedback. Tops: Before you use an instrument that is the least bit floppy or whippy on actual flesh, practice on an inanimate object such as a cushion, quilt or plush toy.1 (Yes, you may feel silly beating the snot out of Teddy, but that's better than feeling sillier when your bottom walks away from you with marks in places where they shouldn't be.) Bottoms: A top who's wrapping probably doesn't know it. Politely telling them that a stroke or two has wrapped, using whatever type of communication the two of you have established, is an important form of feedback, and will enable them to do their job better.2 (A top who chides you for giving polite and honest factual feedback during a scene is a top to re-educate or avoid.)\n\nWith long or flexible toys, it's a good idea to learn to spank from both directions, so that the heaviest part of the spanking gets well distributed onto both cheeks. If the bottom is lying face down and you're moving around, this is simple: just walk from one side of the bed or table to the other. If they're standing up, you'll have to either learn to strike with your non-dominant hand, or develop your backhand. Either of these techniques may take a bit more practice than you used for your regular stroke, but will be well worth it.\n\nHands\n\nWhile spankophiles are often avid collectors of paddles, straps, canes and the like \u2013 I know a few who own thousands of dollars' worth \u2013 the fact is that you need no equipment at all to perform an extremely enjoyable and effective spanking.\n\nEven if you've got a steamer trunk full of gear, I strongly recommend that you start your spankings with your hand. Handspankings offer a greater range of sensation than any implement ever could: gentle loving caresses, warm sensuous smacks, harsh stinging slaps, deep thuddy jolts. Moreover, spanking someone with your hand offers a tremendous amount of feedback. You get a much clearer idea of exactly what each spank feels like to your bottom, as the sensation is echoed into your hand.1\n\nMany spanking aficionadoes enjoy only hand-spanking, and are frightened or offended by the use of implements for spanking. That's fine \u2013 a skilled spanking hand is like a bag of toys at the end of your arm.\n\nYou can spank with fingers only, with the palm, or with the heel of your hand; with the hand flat or cupped; with a glancing blow that slides along the skin, or a straight-on smack; with a popping motion that snatches the hand away from the skin almost on contact, or with deep follow-through; with many quick little smacks covering wide areas, or with slow, hard spanks with long pauses between. Experiment with keeping your hand and wrist rigid, or leaving them floppy. What does it feel like when your fingers are held tightly together, or spread loosely apart? Try drumming with two hands, like you would on bongo drums\u2026using the heel of your hand to deliver a heavy jolting blow upwards against the base of the butt\u2026alternating hard strokes with caresses to keep your bottom off-balance and guessing.\n\nIt might be fun and educational to do a session or two in which you and your bottom experiment with these and other strokes, with lots of feedback about how each one feels.\n\nOne word of warning: if you're like me \u2013 a tender-handed person who plays with tough-butted bottoms \u2013 you may find that handspanking may all too literally hurt you more than it does them. Gloves can help. A close-fitting latex, vinyl, or lightweight leather glove can take some of the sting out of your hand and put it into their backside where it belongs. Padded motorcyclists' gloves can help protect your hand from very heavy spanking blows. Also, many spankees enjoy the contrasting sensations available from a lace or fishnet glove, or a fingerless glove. Experiment.\n\nSince the previous edition of this book, I have developed some arthritis in my hands. I generally do my warmup these days with a small leather paddle, but I do miss handspanking. A lot.\n\nPaddles\n\nI am using the term _paddles_ to cover the entire range of spanking implements that are broad, stiff and flat. Paddles range from fairly tame implements of stiffened leather through large, heavy wooden boards. Their sensation may be quite stingy \u2013 plastic paddles are often viciously so \u2013 or may thud down into muscle and bone.\n\nMany people who have tried and enjoyed handspanking decide that the next logical step is to use a hairbrush, which is basically a small paddle. Be careful with this: hairbrushes are much nastier than many people realize.1 They concentrate the full force of a spanking blow into a small, hard area, so they hurt a _lot,_ and they're likely to leave bruises. (One of my favorite spankees, an avid masochist who hugely enjoys intense floggings and canings, refuses to have a hairbrush used on her.) Same goes for wooden spoons.\n\nTo my mind, the logical next step up from handspanking is a well-crafted leather paddle. These are available in any leather store and most erotic boutiques, or if you are handy with tools you can make your own from stiff leather. An implement called a _slapper_ , basically a flexible, double-thick leather paddle in which the paddle ends are left unattached so that they smack together upon impact, is available in riding supply stores at a very reasonable cost, and also makes an excellent first paddle.\n\nPerhaps more than any other spanking toy, paddles can be found in all sorts of environments. Paddles from games such as ping-pong can serve very well (a lawn game called Jokari includes large, round, plywood paddles that have something of a cult following). Housewares stores often sell big, solid wooden spoons, as well as wooden and plastic cheeseboards which make good heavy paddles. Thrift stores and antique stores sometimes yield novelty paddles with corny sayings on them (\"Board of Education\" and the like), as well as authentic fraternity paddles. One of my favorite and very nasty paddles is the rubber sole of a discarded martial arts shoe. Once you start looking around, you'll begin to feel like you're surrounded by paddles.\n\nSome paddles have holes in them; devotees claim that the holes diminish wind resistance, enabling the spanker to strike harder. While I have my doubts about that, there is no question that paddles with holes are stingier and likelier to blister or abrade skin. The holes also create structural weakness in the paddle, so these paddles are likelier than others to break.\n\nIn acquiring a paddle, look for a smooth, cleanly finished surface, with nicely beveled or rounded edges and corners \u2013 sharp edges are likely to cause damage. If the paddle is designed for striking, such as a game paddle or a paddle made especially for spanking, it's unlikely to break unless used quite hard. If you're using something designed for another purpose, check it frequently during the spanking to make sure it hasn't cracked or broken.\n\nMany paddles \u2013 even those made for the purpose \u2013 are, in my opinion, a bit large for good spanking play. If you're spanking with a large paddle, particularly if your partner has a small butt, you can hardly avoid hitting over and over again on the same spot. I prefer a slightly smaller paddle that I can keep moving over the entire area.\n\nA special subtype of paddle is perfect for situations in which one or both partners are open to the idea of a paddling, but the bottom doesn't enjoy the sensation of pain. If you find yourself in such a situation, the foam rubber kneeling pads sold in garden supply stores are a great solution: you can swing them as hard as you can, they make a loud \"whack,\" and they feel like a gentle _whompf_ on the bottom's behind. You can role-play as fierce a beating as you like without causing your bottom a moment's physical discomfort.\n\nStraps\n\nFor the sake of simplicity, I'll refer to any spanking implement that's long, narrow and very flexible as a strap.\n\nMany bottoms absolutely love to be struck with a strap. On the other hand, a fair number of people have been nonconsensually beaten with straps as children, so these toys may have a stronger chance than other implements of awakening buried memories or strong emotions. In order to avoid such occurrences, I recommend that you negotiate the use of a strap before you haul one out and start flailing away.\n\nThe classic strap, of course, is the top's belt, and the sound of a belt being tugged out of its loops sends a special shiver down many bottoms' spines. If you enjoy this sort of thing, it's worth acquiring one or two belts especially for spanking games. Look for belts of supple leather, at least an inch and a half wide, with no harsh stitching or metal parts on the striking area. If you have, or can find, an old, wide, well-worn leather belt from the '60s or '70s, you've got a spanking treasure: recondition it, if necessary, with a good hide rejuvenator, and look forward to making some bottom very happy.\n\nOther straps can be found in riding supply stores \u2013 I used to own and cherish a wide leather cinch strap from a saddle. Old razor strops can often be found in antique stores; cut away the canvas backing and you've got a wonderful strap. Straps of leather or rubber (watch out for the latter; rubber is nastier than you might expect) are also a good do-it-yourself project.\n\nStraps are especially likely to wrap. Many straps made for non-spanking purposes contribute to this problem by being a bit too long for the average butt. To compensate, fold the strap in half and hold the loose ends in your hand, striking with the doubled-up part; or simply \"choke up\" by wrapping part of the strap around your hand and use the remainder to strike with. _(Never try to strike anyone with the buckle or metallic parts of a belt._ You can lacerate their skin deeply that way.) If you acquire a new strap, practice on something inanimate before you try using it on a person.\n\nBirch Rods\n\nThe _birch rod_ , sometimes called just the _birch_ , has a long and honorable history. Although it is seldom used punitively today, it played a significant role in the Victorian schoolroom and in many prisons in earlier centuries.\n\nThe birch consists of six to twelve long, thin, whippy branches cut from a birch or similar tree, with the twigs and, if possible, the buds left on. The branches are tied together at the thick end with string or ribbon, and left splaying out at the thin end. A good birch should be broad enough to spread out over a good part of the butt with each stroke, and should be dense enough to bite in many places at once without being so dense as to feel like a broom. If you have access to a birch tree or something similar (fruit trees are often good for this), they are easy to make \u2013 be sure to rinse the branches well to remove dust, dirt and smog. During a birching, little bits of twig and bark tend to break loose and fly all over the place; you can minimize this phenomenon by soaking your birch in water for eight or so hours beforehand, but you should still expect to do some sweeping or vacuuming afterwards.\n\nBeing birched feels like being stung simultaneously by an entire swarm of angry insects. It marks the butt with dozens of little crisscrossed lines, often intersected by small dark spots where the buds bit into the skin. It is far likelier than most other forms of spanking to abrade or break the skin, so it's important to use each birch rod on only one bottom.\n\nFloggers and Other Multi-Tailed Implements\n\nMany spankophiles enjoy playing with multi-tailed flagellation implements, usually made of leather but sometimes of other materials \u2013 floggers, flails, martinets, cats-o-nine-tails, and the like. While instructions for truly skilled use of these toys could fill their own book,1 a few notes here can at least get you started.\n\nFloggers can deliver sensations ranging from the most sensuous of massage-like caresses through skin-tearing agony. If you're considering the purchase of your first flogger, don't make the mistake many novice tops do (I speak from experience here) \u2013 don't buy the biggest, nastiest, meanest-looking flogger you can find. Using a flogger well takes a lot of practice, and you want to start with an implement that forgives your mistakes: try a flogger of soft suede, deerskin, or a similar material. Such floggers are ideal for warmup, and excellent for many other kinds of spanking as well. Save floggers of heavy leather, and braided or knotted floggers, for later if ever.\n\nFloggers do not work well in positions that bring the top's body very close to the bottom's, such as over-the-knee spanking. On the other hand, they can be used very effectively on a standing bottom or on one who is lying face down.1\n\nMost people start out with a simple side stroke: if you're right-handed and your bottom is standing, stand to their left side and bring the flogger around so that its tips land in the center of their right cheek. Once you get comfortable with that, you can add more strokes to your repertoire, such as a backhand stroke, a figure-eight, a twirling stroke and more. (People who are really into floggers often look like they're performing some specialized rhythmic gymnastics routine.)\n\nFloggers are perhaps the likeliest of all common spanking toys to cause problems with wrapping. Put in some serious practice on an inanimate object before you use one on a human being.\n\nMany spanking folks think of floggers as being more about traditional BDSM than about spanking. But skilled and judicious use of a flogger can, if you like it, add a delightful dimension to many spanking scenes.\n\nCanes, Crops, Switches and the Like\n\nLong, narrow, fairly rigid implements offer what is probably the most intense sensation available to the spanking enthusiast. For this reason, they require particular care and skill to use safely.\n\nI love canes, the \"queen of spanking implements,\" so much that I've given them their own section \u2013 Appendix D, \"Some Thoughts on Caning.\" If this form of intense spanking play is of interest to you, please read it carefully.\n\nRiding crops are a twofold implement. You can use the tip only, as a small paddle, delivering a rain of quick little blows all over the butt. Or you can use the shaft like a heavy cane. In either case, it's important to choose your crop carefully. Crops intended for use as a paddle should have broad, stiffish, flexible tips. If you want to strike with the shaft, examine the crop carefully for harsh stitching that could cause problems, and take an extra-careful look at how the tip is attached to the shaft: many crops use stiff wire-like wrapping that hurts in a very non-erotic way and can easily cause more damage than you intended.\n\nA third sort of cane-type implement is a _switch_ \u2013 a slim, flexible branch cut from a tree.1 The severity of switches depends strongly on the type of tree, size and greenness of branch, and so on; the most severe can cause more damage than most spankees are comfortable with, so start out slowly with any new switch. Since switches can break skin, make sure you haven't cut yours from any kind of toxic plant like an oleander. A traditional old-fashioned preamble to punishment was to send the miscreant out to the yard to cut his own switch; if you have a yard with trees, give it a try yourself.\n\n1I like to practice on a quilt, aiming the tip of my toy for the place where the stitching intersects. A canemaker of my acquaintance recommends a pillow in a plaid pillowcase.\n\n2It's not too rare for tops to get so caught up in the role that they forget the need to communicate honestly and politely. It's important to discuss this - preferably outside scene space - to make sure that everybody is able to get their needs met.\n\n1A handspanking isn't necessarily a light spanking. Some spankers have hands of iron that hurt a LOT, bless their hearts.\n\n1It can be fun to tease freshly spanked skin by running the bristles of the hairbrush over it, though.\n\n1And have: \"Flogging,\" by Joseph Bean, from Greenery Press.\n\n1When I'm flogging a woman who is face down, I especially like to stand at her head and flog her sweet spot so that some of the tails of the flogger land on her pussy. The flogger needs to be cleaned afterward, though.\n\n1\"Switch\" can also mean a player who enjoys both spanking and getting spanked. This occasionally gets confusing.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a section for a book about spanking that focuses on the different positions used during a spanking scene. Divide the positions into three categories: weight on the feet, weight partially supported, and weight fully supported. For each category, provide a detailed description of several positions, along with any potential benefits or drawbacks, and considerations for the bottom's and top's body types, health, and preferences. Discuss the impact of each position on the tone and flavor of the scene, and provide tips for maintaining balance, protecting sensitive areas, and incorporating bondage.", "response": "\n\n10\\. Positions\n\n**THE CHOICE OF POSITION HAS A SIGNIFICANT** impact on the flavor and tone of your spanking scene. Some positions put the bottom's body under stress, creating tension and intensity; others enable the bottom to relax, promoting a floaty, ecstatic scene.\n\nIn choosing positions, it's important to take into consideration your bottom's build, state of health, and preferences, as well as your own: the over-the-knee position that sends a large top and tiny bottom rocketing into bliss may be impractical, absurd or even dangerous for a tiny woman who wants to spank a large, broad man.\n\nFor the purposes of categorization, I'm going to break spanking positions into three categories: weight on the feet, weight partially supported, and weight fully supported. Each category, as you'll see, has many variations.\n\nWeight on the Feet\n\nRequiring your bottom to support most or all of their weight on their feet creates a collaborative flavor to the scene, particularly if no bondage is involved \u2013 if they step away or break position, the energy of the scene is broken.1\n\nThe most basic upright position is _standing_ , in which the bottom is simply standing up, without support. This is a simple position which can be used in any environment. Gravity tends to pull the bottom's butt muscles downward a bit, so you may want to hit a little lower than usual. Hard spanks may create problems in balance for the bottom; a considerate top either allows them to brace their hands against a sturdy wall or piece of furniture, or steadies them with the non-spanking hand.\n\nStanding positions make it nearly impossible for the bottom to fully relax into the sensation \u2013 hence, they're less desirable for ecstatic or \"floaty\" scenes, and some bottoms may find it difficult to get sexually aroused when they're distracted by the need to keep their balance. For the same reason, they may work excellently for interrogation, captivity and other resistance-flavored scenes, or for ordeals.\n\nThose who like to combine bondage with their spanking often enjoy tying the bottom's wrists together and fastening them to an overhead attachment point. If bondage of this or any other kind interests you, take a look at Appendix B for a few pointers.\n\nA more challenging upright position is _bent over,_ with the bottom supporting themselves by placing their hands on their knees or grabbing their ankles. Bent-over positions are very erotic for many spankers and spankees, and have a place in most spanking fans' repertoires. However, it's worth keeping in mind that bending over stretches out the skin and muscles of the butt and thighs, and thus makes blows feel more harsh and intense than they might otherwise seem \u2013 as well as providing some challenge to the bottom's balance. Keeping someone bent over for a long period of time can also impair their breathing and circulation, increasing the likelihood of discomfort, panic or even fainting.\n\nIf you're spanking a bent-over male, watch out for his testicles! To protect these delicate organs \u2013 which could be seriously damaged by a hard blow \u2013 shield them with your non-dominant hand, have him keep his legs closed, or have him protect them himself with his hands. Some men like to wear a leather g-string as additional protection. Such safeguards are particularly important if you're using an implement that is long, floppy or unwieldy, such as a strap, cane or flogger.\n\n_The struggle of a large spankee to stay in place across the lap of a smaller spanker can be a nuisance -it puts stress on the receiver's arms and belly. But it can also be a source of humiliation, and perhaps a rationale for further chastisement. It's all in how you play it!_\n\nMany tops enjoy the sight of a bottom bent fully over and grabbing their ankles, the position often imposed by headmasters with canes in England and coaches with paddles in the U.S. However, for those of us who are perhaps not as young and slim as the average schoolchild, this position can be difficult to attain and even harder to hold. Hard blows to someone in this position can also knock them dangerously off-balance.\n\nSpankees can also be placed on all fours, either on a surface or on the floor. This position can be fun for a while, but will tire most bottoms' wrists and arms out fairly quickly. It does, however, provide easy access to the genitals and anus if you want to stimulate your bottom sexually during the spanking.\n\nSome bent-over positions work well when the top helps provide support. In the _head-between-legs_ position, the spankee bends over as though they were going to grab their ankles. Then the spanker stands in front of them with legs spread slightly, and with the bottom's head between their legs. While a very tall top might have trouble reaching the sweet spot on the butt of a very short bottom, and while a plump or out-of-shape bottom might have trouble bending over this far, this position works nicely for many people.\n\nAnother bent-over position, the _underarm_ position, works best with largish tops and smallish bottoms. The bottom bends over and the top stands beside them, grasping them around the waist or chest with the top's non-dominant arm. The dominant hand is thus left free for its painful task.\n\nPartially Supported Positions\n\nMidway between the upright positions and the face-down positions are positions in which the bottom is _bent over an object_ such as a table, chair, bed or their top's legs, thus placing part of the body's weight on the object while keeping the rest of it on the feet. Many of these positions are comfortable for most bottoms and can be held for a longer period of time than many others. Some combine well with bondage if you're so inclined, and can be executed in almost any environment, from a dungeon to a guest bedroom. A pillow under the bottom's chest may help protect the neck from uncomfortable strain.\n\nThe classic spanking position is, of course, _over the knee._ (Since people reading this book are of adult stature, it might be more accurate to say \"over the lap\" \u2013 most grown-ups take up more space than a single knee can provide. Still, the phrase, often abbreviated to OTK, is well established.)\n\nOver-the-knee spanking is beloved by many and plays a central role in many spankophiles' fantasies. If the spankee is relatively lightweight and fit, the classic OTK position may work out quite well. However, larger spankees, or those who are inflexible, may have trouble holding this position for any length of time \u2013 it may impair their breathing or cause an uncomfortable amount of stress in their arms and legs. Small-lapped tops might also have trouble with this position (bottoms tend to slide off the end of your knees, plus it's not much fun spanking someone when your legs have gone numb).\n\nA couple of variations can help solve these problems. The first is for the spanker to sit on a bed or couch, enabling the bottom to stretch out across their lap, with chest and legs supported by the surface.1 If you plan to hold this position for long, make sure there is sufficient support \u2013 a headboard or couch back \u2013 for the top's back. A compromise position is to have the top seated on the bed or couch, with the bottom's upper body supported by the surface but their legs hanging down \u2013 or their legs supported and their head and arms hanging down. (The latter provides the sensation of \"blood rushing to the head,\" which helps support the OTK fantasy.)\n\nA second variation is to adapt the classic OTK position by having the top sit on a very short stool or chair. Because the bottom is closer to the floor, they can take some weight on their hands and feet or knees, thus reducing pressure on their abdomen and on the top's legs. If you are fond of over-the-knee spanking, a small sturdy stool or bench (make sure it can bear both of your weight) can be an excellent investment.\n\nOr you can try shifting the bottom's position relative to the top in a couple of ways, while still maintaining that mildly humiliating OTK energy so beloved of many tops and bottoms. Have them kneel between the top's legs, bending over one knee. Or they can even try taking a wheelbarrow-like position, with their hands on the floor between the top's feet and their legs spread to either side of the top's waist, so their butt is conveniently at hand. (This one is very stressful on the hands and arms; most bottoms can't hold it for long.)\n\nFully Supported\n\nIf you're planning a long, relaxing or \"floaty\" spanking, I recommend having the bottom lie on their stomach on a bed or sturdy table. Adding a few pillows under their hips may make this position more comfortable and will definitely present their butt at an inviting angle.1 Some bottoms may also require a pillow under their chests in order to reduce strain on their necks. This is probably the most comfortable, relaxed position of all for most bottoms. It keeps the butt muscles short and thick, thus protecting the underlying structures, so it's ideal for very thuddy spankings or for those that use physically heavy implements.\n\nThe _knees-and-chest_ position, in which the bottom kneels down and then lowers their chest to the floor so their butt sticks up in the air,1 also has a great deal to recommend it. The arms can be stretched beyond the head, crossed under the head to cushion and brace the head and neck, or you can have the bottom lace their fingers together behind their neck. This is a very attractive position which offers terrific access to the butt; many tops are very aroused by the sight of the protruding backside as it jerks, twitches, clenches and squirms. Some bottoms, however, may find this position stressful on their backs, necks or knees. Allowing the bottom to spread their knees, or placing a small pillow under the fronts of their ankles, may help.\n\nAn exception to the guideline about fully supported spankings being relaxing is _diaper pose_ , in which the bottom lies on their back and the top holds their ankles in the air, as though diapering a baby. This position can be both physically and emotionally stressful; it blends well into humiliation-flavored scenes. If you intend to indulge in it for long, some bondage may be indicated or the top's ankle-holding arm is likely to tire. Be extra-aware of the bottom's genitals in this position: spanking on genitals, while well within many bottoms' capabilities, is beyond the purview of this book \u2013 but it's certainly not something you want to do by accident.\n\nMany spanking fans sooner or later find themselves thinking about designing and constructing a _spanking bench_. While designs for these delightful toys vary widely, they are all basically designed to hold the bottom's body in a bent-over or all-fours position, with or without bondage. The best spanking benches I've seen include adjustable arm and leg rests so that the bench can be configured for different bodies, and plenty of padding under the spankee's chest and abdomen. I've seen benches shaped like well-padded sawhorses, benches shaped like half-barrels, benches shaped like vaulting horses, and several other models. Designs for spanking benches can be seen in some BDSM and spanking books and magazines as well as in professional dungeons and play spaces; if you're considering buying or building one, check out several different designs \u2013 playing on them if possible \u2013 to see which ones you like best.1\n\n1You can ignore such a break and simply guide the bottom back into position. Or you can treat it as a \"soft safeword\" and back off the intensity of the spanking. Or you can use it as an opportunity for further chastisement. It all depends on the flavor of the scene you're playing.\n\n1Technically this is a fully supported position, but since it's inspired by OTK I'm including it here.\n\n1If you have one of those backrests shaped like the arms and back of a chair, try turning it face-down and using it under their hips. The \"wedges\" sold as sexual aids can also work well for this, as can a large sofa bolster.\n\n1Yoga practitioners will recognize this as \"child pose.\"\n\n1It's also worth noting that one of the comfiest spankings I ever had was on a Black and Decker Workmate with a couple of bed pillows on top.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about spanking in relationships. Discuss the different types of spanking relationships, including one-sided and mutual agreements. Explain the concept of \"relationship-based spanking\" or \"domestic discipline\". Discuss the potential benefits and risks of such relationships, including the need for clear communication and consent. Introduce the concept of the \"Spencer Plan\" or \"Cooperative Domestic Discipline\" and its modern interpretations. Discuss the concept of \"Head of Household\" domestic discipline and its subtypes. Provide tips for maintaining perspective and ensuring a healthy, consensual spanking relationship.", "response": "\n\n11\\. Spanking Relationships\n\n**MANY PEOPLE FEEL DRAWN TO BUILD** spanking-based discipline into their relationships. Such agreements can be enacted in a one-sided way (where one partner has the right to spank another for infractions), or in a mutual way (where either partner can spank the other for mutually agreed upon infractions).\n\nFor the purposes of this chapter, I'll call this \"relationship-based spanking,\" as the whole idea of punishment presupposes that the spanker and spankee are in some sort of a relationship. You may also hear it referred to as \"domestic discipline.\"\n\nMany people who come from a conventional background, or even a BDSM background, are horrified by the idea of a spanking relationship, especially a one-sided one. I find it useful to reframe the idea of \"punishment\" or \"discipline\" as, instead, \"atonement.\" I interviewed several domestic discipline participants in writing this chapter, and all agreed that the primary benefit of disciplinary spanking is clearing the air after a partner has failed to live up to an agreement. Most conceded that even the harshest disciplinary spanking can have erotic overtones, but insisted that while the spanking is taking place, the recipient feels sincere regret, which seemed to me must have at least as much to do with the sense of disappointing one's partner as it does to the physical sensation of the spanking.\n\nThe benefits of a spanking relationship may include:\n\n\u2022A way that the wrongdoer can show their regret and atone for their error\n\n\u2022Reinforcement of a power differential in the relationship\n\n\u2022A sense of closure \u2013 instead of constantly bringing up the source of friction during arguments for months or years, both partners can make an agreement that the spanking will be the end of the discussion\n\n\u2022A cathartic pathway to overcoming guilt and/or shame\n\nThe risks of such a relationship include:\n\n\u2022A bottom who acts out in order to get a secretly desired spanking1\n\n\u2022Resentment over what seems like an unfair punishment\n\n\u2022The power differential of the spanking relationship \"spilling over\" in an undesired way into day-to-day relating\n\n\u2022Genuine fear, anger or distress over being hurt by a lover2\n\nWith a clear understanding of the rewards and risks, and with ongoing communication about what's working and what isn't, it is entirely possible to build spanking into your relationship in a life-enhancing and emotionally safe way.\n\nThe Spencer Plan (Cooperative Domestic Discipline)\n\nAccording to spanking legend, a woman named Dorothy Spencer wrote a pamphlet in 1936 outlining the rules and agreements of an ongoing spanking relationship. The text has been reproduced by various adult publishers through the years, and appears on some websites. Nobody I've ever met claims to have seen or owned one of the original 1936 pamphlets, which makes me somewhat dubious about the legend.1 But whether or not Dorothy and her pamphlet truly ever existed, the Spencer Spanking Plan is well established in the hearts of many households, and is a remarkably sensible solution to many of the potential problems I've outlined.\n\n\"My idea was to inaugurate a system of cooperative discipline that would sincerely benefit the party at fault and prevent all serious trouble by furnishing a definite, fair and effective method of adjustment,\" reads the plan.2 It goes on to advise:\n\n\u2022 _Establish causes that will produce the discipline._\n\n\u2022 _Agree upon the matter thoroughly. Don't leave the thing to the whim of the moment. Let your wife know what she will be spanked for, so she can watch her step and strive to avoid the discipline if she can. This is only fair._\n\n\u2022 _Let her do the same for you. You don't want her to whip you for just any old reason \u2013 as though you were a child. 3 You want to know in advance just what will produce the discipline. Then you can regulate your conduct accordingly. This is the only sensible way._\n\nIn other words, the SSP is a mutually agreed-upon contract, with predetermined consequences for predetermined misbehaviors \u2013 no surprises. Any tendency toward excessive punishment is likely to be curbed by the recognition that the spanker may wind up taking their turn on the receiving end.\n\nSome weaknesses of the Plan: First, it does not recognize the possibility that some people actually enjoy some aspects of being spanked.1 If either or both of the participants is eroticized to spanking, their agreements will have to include some way to make sure that spanking doesn't slowly morph from punishment to reward. While many spankees report that a punishment spanking by its nature feels very different than an erotic or reward spanking, I would be inclined to separate the two in some tangible way: by eliminating warmup, by reserving a particularly difficult implement for punishment only,2 and/or by using other disciplinary modes (corner time, lines, mouth soaping et al) to reinforce the punitive aspect of the spanking. It's also a good idea to make sure that the person who enjoys erotic spanking has their desires abundantly met \u2013 many people use \"maintenance spankings\" \u2013 so they don't feel so spanking-starved that they act out in order to get their butts whacked at all.\n\nThe other glitch in the Plan is that, whether or not it was written by Dorothy Spencer in 1936, it was definitely created in an era where women were viewed as \"the weaker sex\": it counsels that women be spanked with the bare hand only, whereas men must be \"whipped\" with a paddle1 or strap. I hope I don't need to tell you that this is nonsense. Different people have different pain thresholds (in fact, most research shows that women's pain thresholds are generally higher than men's), and react differently to each implement. Choose your punishments according to each person's abilities and needs, not according to gender.\n\n\"Head of Household\" Domestic Discipline\n\nIn this style of spanking relationship, one partner is designated as Head of Household, often abbreviated as HoH, by the mutual consent of both or all partners. The HoH has the authority to prescribe and administer spankings as they see fit; the individuals involved may decide to agree in advance about what behaviors merit punishment, or that decision may be left to the HoH.\n\nIn a subtype of HoH relationship known as \"Christian domestic discipline,\" the male part of a heterosexual duo defaults to being HoH; adherents cite Ephesians 5:24, \"The husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church\u2026as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.\" While this style of relationship prescribes who disciplines and who is disciplined (I feel sorry for the husband in such an arrangement who craves the control and sensation of being the recipient of a spanking1), it is otherwise very similar to any other one-sided domestic discipline arrangement, including female-dominant and same-sex relationships. However, some Christian domestic discipline relationships go beyond the bounds of what I consider consent: if the wife in such a relationship feels genuinely frightened, enraged or diminished by her punishment, such a relationship is, in my opinion, abusive (see Chapter 8 for notes on abuse, and the Resource Guide for what to do if you're being abused).\n\nIt is critical that any couple or group that undertakes a domestic discipline agreement communicate comprehensively and often about any problems they may be encountering.2 Many in such relationships (and in the closely related \"Dominant/ submissive\" relationship, which may or may not include spanking and is generally beyond the purview of this book; see the Resource Guide for suggestions) set aside a regular interval each week in which participants can speak freely and without consequence about anything that's troubling them. Other solutions I've heard include a special sofa that signals \"When I'm sitting here, it's because I need to talk to you as equals,\" and a collaboratively maintained online journal in which participants can write down any issues that need to be addressed. The main thing is to have a way to communicate little problems before they become big ones.\n\nGoal-Oriented Discipline\n\nAnother way to use this strategy is to help the spankee achieve a personal goal or overcome a personal weakness. If someone wishes to, for example, quit biting their fingernails, they may enlist the help of someone who is willing to punish them for any backsliding. The net effect is that two willpowers, rather than just one, are applied to the problem, and the spankee can fall back on the spanker's will when their own feels shaky.\n\nIt is _not_ appropriate to use goal-oriented discipline to resolve large, life-endangering problems like alcoholism or mental illness. Such issues require the help of a trained counselor, not your spouse with a hairbrush in their hand. But if the problem you're trying to resolve is one that simply requires an adjustment in attitude \u2013 curbing spending, cutting back on junk food, spending more time at the gym, thinking before speaking, and so on \u2013 then enlisting the help of a willing spanker may be just the ticket.\n\nMaintaining Perspective\n\nPlease do not feel that a spanking-based relationship is the goal to which all spankophiles should aspire. There is plenty of hot fun to be had whacking butts for pleasure, for \"funishment,\" for catharsis, and for all the myriad other reasons we enjoy spanking or being spanked.\n\nMoreover, a spanking relationship is not an all-or-nothing proposition: you can try it for a week or two as a trial period, then move on to longer periods if you enjoy it. Or you can take turns as Head of Household, or set aside one or two days a week as \"spankable days,\" or any other compromise that allows you to move gracefully toward your end goal.\n\nIt's worth taking the time up front to set up agreements that will minimize any resentment, fear or dishonesty. After all, the ideal of a spanking relationship is that you will love each other more because of it \u2013 so take your time and get it right.\n\n1The kind of spanking that pretends to be about punishment, but is really an erotic role-play, is sometimes called \"funishment.\" Many couples build a hot erotic life around funishment, but it's a bad idea to confuse it with actual discipline: such a top may find themselves spanking the bottom for not doing the dishes, and be bewildered when the dishes start piling up and up and up\u2026\n\n2Because spanking is most often something that parents do to children, it is possible for the bottom to confuse the top with an angry or abusive parent. Today, as spanking children becomes less acceptable than it was to previous generations, this is becoming less likely. But it still can, and does, happen.\n\n1If you've ever seen or owned one, I'd love to hear about it - please get in touch!\n\n2A full transcript appears at www.spankingart.org/wiki/Text-of-the-Spencer-Spanking-Plan.\n\n3Yikes!\n\n1Even if they don't enjoy it while it's happening, they may well fantasize about it in anticipation and in retrospect. As a way to discourage bad behavior, this leaves a lot to be desired.\n\n2A pet peeve of mine is the top who uses a cane - actually one of the most flexible and useful spanking tools - as a punishment implement. If you want to deliver a jolt of pain without pleasure or eroticism, I recommend a hairbrush, bathbrush or large wooden spoon.\n\n1The \"Spencer paddle\" - a wooden paddle with multiple holes - was, according to legend, developed for this purpose. I don't recommend them; they are prone to causing blistering, and the holes create structural weakness that causes the paddle to break easily.\n\n1It has been noted by some practitioners that if the husband ORDERS his wife to administer a spanking to him, he is maintaining his role as head of household. I think my brain would explode, but if this works for you, go for it.\n\n2Interestingly, the complaints in DD relationships seem far more often to have to do with a HoH who is too lax than with one who is too strict.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about troubleshooting in spanking scenes. Discuss common mishaps that can occur during spanking scenes, including emotional crises and physical injuries. Provide strategies for dealing with these mishaps, such as how to support a partner during an emotional crisis or how to treat common physical injuries like welts, bruises, and abraded or broken skin. Also, discuss how to prevent and manage more serious injuries, such as fainting, seizures, and heat exhaustion. Finally, provide advice on how to adjust spanking play for individuals with pre-existing health conditions, such as heart trouble, breathing problems, diabetes, and joint problems.", "response": "\n\n12\\. Troubleshooting\n\n**EVEN THE MOST SKILLED AND EMPATHETIC** spankophiles have things go wrong from time to time \u2013 freakouts, accidents, unexpected marks, injuries, illnesses and more. While many of the precautions I've mentioned in previous chapters will go far in helping to minimize such occurrences, I assure you that problems will happen. Here are some strategies for dealing with them when they do.\n\nEmotional Crises\n\nThese are probably the single most common mishap that happens in spanking scenes. A bottom may get so deeply into the fantasy that they forget this is a consensual scene and get scared, upset or angry. A spanking may also cause an individual to regress to a deeply childlike, vulnerable state, or may even trigger a forgotten memory of trauma or abuse.\n\nThe first thing to remember if your partner is having an emotional crisis is that these things happen. Part of the reason we enjoy spanking in the first place is because it lowers some of our emotional barriers and removes some of our armor; sometimes, this process simply goes a bit further than we intended. While it's natural to feel a bit scared and guilty, don't take it too much to heart, unless you were genuinely doing something nonconsensual or non-negotiated.\n\nNext, get to work helping your partner back to an easier frame of mind. Immediately stop the spanking, and release any bondage. If they're wearing any kind of costume or symbols like a collar, find out whether they want them off or not, and if they do, remove the offending items immediately and wrap them in a bathrobe or blanket.\n\nWhile it can be difficult to conquer your own anxiety and need for reassurance, your main task right now is to be with your partner in a nurturing, non-pushy, non-critical manner. Make sure your bottom is physically warm and comfortable. Try to get them to eat and drink something (no alcohol, please), since dehydration and low blood sugar can contribute to emotional crises. If they need to talk, do your best to listen supportively, without getting defensive or guilty. If they need to cry, hold them if they want that; if they want some alone time, leave the room and check in occasionally to see if they're ready for company.\n\nIf you're the one having the crisis, and your partner is unable or unwilling to support you, you'll have to support yourself. Drink a big glass of water and eat something. If you need to cry, cry. Consider self-soothing by wrapping yourself up in something nestlike and warm, or by taking a bath or shower. A walk can help, as can a nap. Sometimes you can bring yourself back out of an altered state by reading, exercising or doing crafts.\n\nUsually, people begin to recover from an emotional crisis within half an hour or so, and are feeling pretty much better (although, perhaps, still rather raw and vulnerable) within a couple of hours. A crisis that lasts for more than a day or two, or that seems to bring up questions or issues that you can't resolve on your own, may indicate that some truly deep and difficult feelings have been stirred up which might require help from a mental health professional to understand and resolve. See the Resource Guide in the back of this book for information about how to find such a professional who will not be judgmental about an interest in spanking.\n\nPhysical Injuries\n\nAlthough spanking is far less likely to cause injuries than, say, touch football, people do occasionally get hurt. While this book is not a substitute for professional first aid instruction, here are some methods for dealing with some of the common injuries encountered by spanking folk.\n\n\u2022 _Welts._ Getting an icebag onto freshly spanked skin can help reduce or eliminate welts. (More about icebags under \"Bruises,\" below.) I have also heard, although I haven't tried it myself, that one or two doses of over-the-counter antihistamine such as diephenhydramine, chlorpheniramine or clemastine can reduce welting. (Read the package carefully; some of these drugs cause drowsiness, or interact badly with other medications.) Welts usually fade within a few days even if you don't do anything to fix them, although immersion in hot water may cause them to resurface after you think they're gone.\n\n\u2022 _Bruises._ If you suspect that unwanted bruises may result from your spanking,1 place an icebag on the spanked area immediately afterwards. Keep it there until the area starts to go numb, no more than fifteen to twenty minutes. Repeat this process every two to four hours for a day or two if possible.\n\nLight or surface bruising is not a problem from a health point of view. If you are deeply or extensively bruised, it's important to drink a lot of water for a couple of days after your scene. The water helps flush the byproducts of broken blood cells out of your system, protecting your kidneys from damage. Some spankees also like to take some extra Vitamin C, Vitamin E and zinc during this period.\n\nSome health practitioners feel that bruising again over an unhealed bruise can damage your body's ability to heal itself.\n\nA bruise that is hard and bulging to the touch is not a medical emergency, but it's not great for your body either. If the bruise is in a place that you sit directly on, or if it's near your genitals or anus, I'd have a doctor take a look at it. Be sure to tell your top about it so they know to take things a little easier next time.\n\n\u2022 _Abraded or broken skin._ If clear fluid (plasma) or blood is leaking from the skin, the skin should be considered broken. (Sometimes even relatively light spankings can break skin, particularly if they strike pimples or other small flaws on the butt.) Broken skin is an opening through which diseases can be transmitted; do not touch anybody else's broken skin without medical gloves unless you are absolutely sure that your own skin is unbroken, or the two of you are disease-free and in a sexually monogamous relationship.\n\nThe first thing to do with broken skin is to make sure it doesn't get infected. Clean it twice a day with soap and water. If the skin is at particularly high risk for infection \u2013 if, for example, it is close to the rectum \u2013 consider using a topical antibiotic such as Neosporin or Betadine as well. A cream containing lidocaine or benzocaine will help reduce the pain and keep you more comfortable.\n\nFor your own comfort as well as for cleanliness, wearing clean, soft cotton underwear for a few days is a good idea; boxers or long-leg panties are nice in that they don't have elastic that rubs on tender areas. You might also wish to cover the broken skin with gauze and adhesive tape to prevent your clothing from rubbing against it or sticking to it. You will probably figure out on your own that wearing tight or harsh-textured clothing is not such a good idea.\n\nOnce the skin is no longer sticky to the touch, keeping it well anointed with a healing moisturizer can decrease itching and promote healing. Some people like aloe vera or Vitamin E oil for this. My personal preference is a thick moisturizer called Country Comfort, available in natural food stores, which contains goldenseal, myrrh and other healing herbs.\n\nAbrading skin can cause long-term changes to the underlying tissues; many experienced spankees have one or two \"weak spots\" that will open up and weep plasma or blood after relatively little stimulation. If your skin has been broken, try to give it as much time as possible to heal. I know one frequent spankee who carries a short tight latex skirt in her toybag to protect her weak spot.\n\n\u2022 _Cramps._ Being kept in strenuous positions for a long time during a spanking scene can cause muscles to cramp. If someone in your scene develops a muscle cramp, stop immediately and give the person plenty of time to stretch out the cramp. Don't rub it unless they ask you to. Choose a different position when you resume the spanking.\n\n\u2022 _Fainting and seizures._ A spanking can be a physically and emotionally stressful experience. Occasionally, a bottom is overwhelmed by the experience, and faints1 or has a seizure. You can help prevent this problem by making sure your bottom has had enough to eat before the scene, and by giving them water to drink during the scene. (One of those plastic sports bottles with a straw or valve in the top comes in handy for this.) If your bottom complains of dizziness or nausea, stop the scene immediately and encourage them to lie down with their feet up.\n\nBut if they faint anyway, check their heartbeat and breathing; if those are okay, the bottom will almost certainly come to within a minute or two. (A faint that lasts longer than five minutes or so merits a call for an ambulance.) I wouldn't try to go on with a spanking scene after someone has fainted; instead, make them comfortable, give them something to eat and drink once they're able to sit up on their own, and decompress together for a while.\n\nTreatment for seizures (convulsions) is essentially the same.1 Clear any furniture or breakables out of the way so that your partner doesn't bang into anything, and wait. A seizure that lasts longer than a minute or two, a second seizure, or a seizure by anyone who's never had one before calls for a trip to the emergency room.\n\n\u2022 _Heat exhaustion._ Both tops and bottoms are susceptible to this problem if they're playing enthusiastically in a warm room. The symptoms to watch out for are dizziness, nausea, rapid heartbeat, and cool clammy skin. If anybody starts to feel these symptoms, stop the scene immediately and give the person plenty of water to drink and perhaps a cool shower.\n\n\u2022 _Serious injuries._ Any of the following symptoms may represent a serious injury, and call for a trip to the doctor: deep, sharp, or persistent pain in the tailbone; dark urine, bloody urine, or difficulty or pain upon urination; numbness or tingling in any limb that lasts more than an hour or two. See the Resource Guide for help in finding a physician who will treat the injury without being appalled by your spanking interest. It's a good idea to establish a relationship with this doctor before you need them.\n\nHealth Concerns\n\nWhile few people are so unhealthy that they shouldn't spank or be spanked at all, some pre-existing health problems do call for adjustments to spanking play.1 Here are some of the commoner ones:\n\n\u2022 _Heart trouble._ A bottom with a history of heart trouble should not be placed in stressful positions that impair breathing or circulation. I'd avoid head-down positions, as well as standing positions in which the hands are tied overhead. If anybody in the scene complains of dizziness or a pounding heart, stop whatever activity is causing that problem right away. (Since many spanking people also enjoy anal play, it's worth mentioning here that enemas and anal penetration can also be a bit risky with a partner who has a history of heart trouble.)\n\n\u2022 _Breathing problems._ A bottom who has asthma, emphysema or other breathing difficulty should not be placed in positions that further impair breathing. Over-the-knee and strongly bent-over positions are particularly likely to cause trouble.\n\n\u2022 _Diabetes._ Since diabetes can impair wound healing, it's best not to cause wounds in the first place. Avoid bruising or breaking skin on a bottom with diabetes. Unless they know for sure that they can handle heavier toys, I'd stick with handspanking, and perhaps a fairly mild leather paddle, on a bottom who has diabetes.\n\n\u2022 _Joint problems._ The bottom probably knows better than you what kinds of positions or impact might harm their joints. Follow their directions in choosing what activities to engage in.\n\nIt's important to mention here that most spanking aficionadoes spend many years happily spanking or being spanked without encountering a single major problem \u2013 I don't want to make it sound as though every spanking is a feat of daredevil risk-taking. Being prepared for trouble is simply a way of helping top and bottom alike to relax and enjoy themselves.\n\n1I found out the hard way (during a Gay Pride parade) that exercise during a spanking can increase bruising.\n\n1Fainting often happens in a very warm room or on a very hot day. If you're in the middle of a heat wave, consider postponing your spanking scene until things cool off.\n\n1If your partner becomes unresponsive, rigid, and begins to jerk or twitch uncontrollably, that's probably a seizure.\n\n1If you have any of these problems, a kink-friendly health practitioner can also be useful in helping you decide which activities to engage in and which ones to avoid.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a chapter for a book about tips, tricks, and fun things to try during spanking scenes. Discuss ways to make spanking more intense, such as spanking over wet skin or using chemical heat like mentholatum or capsicum liniment. Include safety advice for using these substances, such as doing a patch test beforehand and keeping them away from sensitive areas. Also, discuss other ways to add sensation, such as using nettles or figging. Provide tips for keeping spanking scenes quiet, including using quieter toys and muffling the bottom's noise. Discuss how to combine spanking with other sensations, such as caressing the butt with fur or dripping wax on heated skin. Suggest games that can be adapted to determine spanking outcomes. Provide advice on using butt plugs during spanking scenes, including how to insert them safely and cleanly. Discuss the possibility of masturbation during spanking scenes. Finally, provide tips for incorporating intercourse or strap-on play into spanking scenes and advice for involving multiple partners in spanking scenes.", "response": "\n\n13\\. Tips, Tricks and Fun Things to Try\n\n**GETTING BORED WITH THE SAME OLD** whackety-whack? Here are some ideas to spice up or fine-tune your spanking play.\n\nGet Wet\n\nMany bottoms find that a spanking over wet skin feels much more intense than the same spanking dry. Try giving your partner a nice hot bubble bath, then hauling them out and spanking them while their butt is still all pink and moist. Or use a spray bottle of warm water to keep their backside glistening wet while you spank it.\n\nChemical Heat\n\nThe feeling of a spanking can be intensified and prolonged by using a mentholatum or capsicum liniment on the butt before spanking. (A liniment called Heet has a particular cult following.) Some people are allergic to the chemicals in these substances, so it's a good idea to do a patch test on the thin skin of the inner arm twenty-four hours before your scene. If there is any redness, rash or itching, don't use that liniment on this bottom.\n\nKeep the chemical away from the asshole, genitals, and the crevices between the genitals and thighs \u2013 it's not dangerous, but liniments in these tender areas burn too intensely for many bottoms. Similarly, do not use these substances on broken or abraded skin. If the chemical is too intense, immediately apply a lot of anything oily \u2013 cold cream, Vaseline, even vegetable oil from the kitchen \u2013 and send the bottom off to the shower to shampoo it off (shampoo does a better job of cutting oil than soap does).\n\nIf you and your bottom enjoy this sensation, you might experiment cautiously with using a tiny bit of liniment on the rim of the asshole as an incentive to prevent clenching of the cheeks during spanking. (When I say tiny bit, I mean a dab about half the size of a small pea.)\n\nA variant on chemical heat is \"figging\" \u2013 a Victorian kink originally practiced on horses to make them carry their tails high. Start with a fresh ginger root of an appropriate size, and peel off the skin and any branches or protrusions. Whittle it down to the approximate shape of a butt plug,1 with a flange at the bottom and a narrower neck. Insert the business end into the bottom's anus so that the narrow neck is gripped by the sphincter. The burn varies from moderate to strong, depending on the individual and the root,2 and is made stronger if the bottom clenches their butt during the spanking.\n\nNettles\n\nUrtification \u2013 using stinging nettles to redden, burn and sensitize skin \u2013 is a time-honored staple of Victorian spanking porn. If you live in an area where nettles are available, and if your bottom can handle a sensation this intense, it's worth a try. The cautions for nettle play are similar to those for liniment play: patch test first, and keep nettles away from genitals and assholes. (Tops will probably want to wear gloves for this activity.) I'd start slowly, perhaps using nettles cautiously on a patch a couple of inches square on the bottom's butt and spanking over that, to see how well the bottom can handle the sensation. The sensation should go on burning for a couple of hours, and may feel sort of odd and tingly for a day or two. If that works out well, try a bit more in future sessions. In case of \"overdose,\" look for dock or horsetails, both of which often grow near nettles, and rub the juice into the sore place. If you don't have those, baking soda paste is a decent substitute.\n\n\"Hey, keep it down in there!\"\n\nMany spanking fans have to keep the sounds of their play quiet in order to avoid rousing kids or neighbors. There are two parts to this task: one is to keep the noise of the spanks down, the other is to keep the noise of the bottom down.\n\nBroad, flat toys like paddles make a lot of noise \u2013 a hard paddle stroke can be loud enough to hurt the ears of bystanders. If noise is a concern for you, I'd steer clear of paddles. Somewhere in the middle, noise-wise, are hands and straps. Canes and floggers are relatively quiet, and may be your best bet if you're dealing with paper walls.\n\nAs far as keeping your bottom quiet, some bottoms simply don't make much noise: one of the heaviest spanking masochists I know never makes a peep (she tells me that she learned to keep quiet during the years when her children were young). If your partner is more demonstrative than that, yells, moans and shrieks can be muffled by giving them a pillow to hold over their face or something firm but yielding to bite down on (a scrap of heavy leather works well for this). If you want to play with an actual gag, choose something that cannot possibly come loose and work its way into the bottom's throat, and that is small and/or absorbent enough to enable them to swallow their saliva \u2013 my experience is that many commercial ball gags are uncomfortably large. My personal choice is a large square scarf, folded diagonally into a wide strip, with a large firm knot tied in the middle and the ends tied behind the bottom's head. (And don't forget to agree on a non-verbal safeword \u2013 popular ones include humming a bar of a simple tune, knocking three times on a nearby surface, or dropping a held object.)\n\nMixing Spanking With Other Sensations\n\nA good spanking wakes up the skin of the butt, so that other sensations are felt in a sharply focused, highly sensual way. Try delivering a volley of spanks, then caressing the butt with a scrap of fur\u2026or running your fingernails lightly back and forth across the reddened surface\u2026or teasing it with the bristles of your handy hairbrush. Some folks enjoy dripping wax over already heated skin: the wax from the kind of candle that comes in a glass cylinder (often with religious imagery on the outside) is no hotter than tap water, whereas the kind from a plain white paraffin candle is hot enough for most uses. Avoid beeswax candles because they burn too hot for skin safety, and patch-test first before using scented or colored candles to which some people may react allergically.\n\nOne sensation deserves special mention here: ice. Trailing an ice cube across hot reddened buttflesh is guaranteed to get a gasp from your bottom. You can spank for a while, then use ice to wet down the butt (see \"Get Wet\" above), then spank some more. Whee!\n\nGames People Play\n\nMany spanking fans enjoy adapting their favorite card or board game to determine who gets spanked, with how many strokes, with which instrument, and so on.\n\nPlug 'Em Up\n\nInserting a butt plug into your partner's asshole before or during a spanking can greatly increase their sexual stimulation (this trick works on both male and female spankees). Anything inserted into an asshole should have a large flange at its base to keep it from getting pushed too far inside. If they are not used to being anally penetrated, use a very small plug; putting it in a condom will make clean-up easier. You can tie the condom closed around a small plug, or roll it all the way beyond the flange on a larger one \u2013 or simply remove the inner ring from a female condom and let the outer ring act as a flange to keep the whole assembly from getting sucked in.\n\nIt's a good idea to put a towel under your bottom's hips during any kind of anal play, and to keep a couple of small towels or diaper wipes handy for clean-up.\n\nStart by inserting one finger, gloved with latex or nitrile1 and very well-slicked with a good lubricant, gradually into the asshole. You'll feel two rings of muscle, which are the outer sphincter and the inner sphincter. Don't force anything; wait until you feel the sphincters relax, usually one at a time, and then gradually move your finger in. Experiment gently with pressing in different directions, moving the finger back and forth, and so on, and watch their reactions. When they seem relaxed and comfortable with one finger, withdraw it, re-lube, and insert two fingers \u2013 slowly, gradually. This may be enough for the first time.\n\nIf they seem stressed or tense, stop after the fingers, and try again another day. On the other hand, if they can relax and enjoy two fingers, you can withdraw the fingers and try gently inserting the well-lubed plug. Although a stretching feeling, and a feeling of having to defecate, are normal and will fade in a few minutes, nothing should ever feel sharply painful \u2013 if it does, stop immediately.\n\nOnce the plug is in and the bottom has relaxed again, you can resume the spanking. Try giving a couple of light taps on the base of the plug and see how they react to that. Keep an eye on the plug to make sure they aren't pushing it out; if it seems to be trying to sneak away, push it gently back in.1 Spank away and see how the sensation of anal fullness can contribute to your bottom's enjoyment!\n\nMasturbation During Spanking\n\nMany women, and quite a few men, can greatly enjoy being allowed \u2013 or directed \u2013 to masturbate while being spanked. Bottoms of any gender can masturbate in a standing position while you spank their butts. Many women can also masturbate face-down, perhaps with a couple of pillows under their chest and butt, while you spank them. Orgasms achieved in this way tend to be extremely intense, so don't expect your bottom to be terribly coherent for a few minutes afterwards.\n\nFor a real brain-buster, try handing them a vibrator to use during the spanking. This is intense enough that it's probably best to make sure the bottom is on a bed or soft surface where they won't be hurt if they fall.\n\nOn the other hand, some bottoms find that the sensation of the spanking keeps them from reaching orgasm, and/or that the sexual stimulation keeps them from focusing on the spanking. Individual patterns vary; don't push this if it doesn't seem to be working.\n\nSpanking During Intercourse or Strap-on Play\n\nWhile most vaginal and anal intercourse positions don't adapt themselves very well to spanking, there are exceptions. The partner on the bottom during face-to-face fucking may be able to reach up to spank their partner's butt, and the active partner during doggy-style intercourse may enjoy thrusting a couple of times, pulling out for some smacks, and then thrusting again. One excellent position for spanking is for the active partner to lie on their back, with the receptive partner kneeling or lying on top, facing their feet (aka \"reverse cowgirl\" \u2013 or, I suppose, \"reverse cowboy\"). Although the sweet spot may be hard to reach in this position, most of the rest of the butt is quite marvelously accessible.\n\nThe Crying Game\n\nMany spanking fantasies end with the receiver in tears. Yet in the real world, quite a few spankees find it very difficult to cry during a scene (much as they would like to).\n\nIronically, many of the techniques people use to manage the pain of a spanking can get in the way of the catharsis of tears. If you're very good at breathing and relaxing through your spanking, or if you habitually distract yourself with sexual fantasy or concentrating on something besides your butt, you may be getting in your own way; consider conveniently \"forgetting\" to do those things and see what happens.\n\nI don't have any surefire ways to make a bottom cry. But more than a few bottoms report that they can push themselves to tears by running mental tapes of self-pity and/or guilt \u2013 \"Poor me\u2026\" \"How can they do this to me?!\" \u2026\"I completely deserve this because of that burned dinner the other night.\" It may help, too, if the bottom waits a minute or two longer than usual before using their safeword \u2013 some people have a tendency to safeword at exactly the point when they feel their emotions welling up to overwhelm them, so if they hold off for a moment, the next thing they feel might be the need to cry. (Do not, however, delay safewording if you feel that your physical or emotional well-being is genuinely at risk.)\n\nTops can sometimes help by watching their bottoms for signs of imminent tears, then giving permission for the tears to appear: \"That's right, baby, go right ahead, let it out.\"\n\nSome bottoms report that they're likelier to cry if a scene includes anal penetration (see \"Plug 'Em Up,\" above) and/or bondage (see Appendix C). Both of these are worth a try if tears are important to you.\n\nInvite a Friend\n\nSpanking friends with team spirit may enjoy inviting third, fourth, and even more parties to join their spanking scenes. It's a challenge to the imagination to figure out ways to involve all concerned. Here are a few multi-partner scenes I've seen and participated in:\n\n\u2022Two spankees stand face-to-face and hold one another, while one or more spankers beat their butts.\n\n\u2022\"Of human bondage\" \u2013 the spankee is bent over a table or chair while one top holds her hands or arms and the other administers the spanking. The two tops may want to change places from time to time. A variant is the time-honored Victorian practice of \"horsing\" \u2013 the assistant top stands in front of the bottom, who puts their arms over their shoulders. The assistant holds the bottom's wrists and bends forward so that the bottom's feet come up off the ground and they are dangling helplessly bent over, down the assistant top's back, for their spanking.\n\n\u2022A right-handed top can team up with a left-handed top (or a top with a good backhand) and each take one cheek. This scene sometimes resembles a fast-moving game of ping-pong. Two tops with a sense of rhythm can use a bottom as a \"human drum,\" which can be a very entrancing scene for all concerned.\n\n\u2022One partner can provide conventional sexual stimulation such as mastur-bation, oral sex or intercourse to the bottom, while the other spanks them.\n\n\u2022Bottoms can be made to \"run the gantlet\" \u2013 to walk or crawl down a row, or two facing rows, of tops, who may administer one spank each or as many spanks as they can, depending on what rules have been established. Careful not to hit another top's hand!\n\nThese are just a few ideas; the imagination, fantasies and desires of the parties involved will undoubtedly provide more. Have fun!\n\n1If you whittle the neck too narrow, it could possibly break off in the bottom's ass - but this is not a medical emergency; the root will almost certainly pass with the next bowel movement.\n\n2My sources assure me that organic ginger is hotter than conventional, and that freshness matters.\n\n1Long nails can cause painful or even dangerous poking. If your nails are long, insert a couple of cotton balls into each fingertip of the glove to avoid stabbing your partner's innards. Many tops who enjoy anal play keep a couple of fingernails trimmed very short for this reason.\n\n1One of my smaller plugs is named \"Oops,\" because that's what my girlfriend kept saying as it rocketed across the room.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a conclusion for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Emphasize that it is not violence or abuse, but a pathway to intimacy and communication. Highlight the cathartic, nurturing, and caring aspects of spanking. Discuss the importance of accepting oneself and others fully, and the role of spanking in promoting wholeness and integrity. Encourage readers to feel lucky rather than ashamed of their desires. Acknowledge that while the book provides techniques, the true spirit of erotic spanking comes from the hearts, minds, genitals, and butts of those who share this desire. Offer congratulations and a warm welcome to those who identify with this special, wonderful desire.", "response": "\n\n14\\. Conclusion\n\nFor a spanking fan, the end should be the best part, right? So let me just sum up this book by saying that consensual erotic spanking is not violence, not abuse, not a way to degrade or diminish anyone involved. Instead, it is, at its best, a pathway to intimacy and communication, to sharing some of our tenderest, scariest, most vulnerable parts. It's catharsis, nurturance, caring \u2013 sometimes even a source of spiritual insight and growth.\n\nBy playing with our darkest attractions to power and cruelty, by bringing them out into the light and making them manageable and safe, we gain wholeness and integrity \u2013 the chance to accept ourselves and one another as we truly are.\n\nIt's time to stop being ashamed. Untold tens of thousands of people share the desire to redden each other's backsides in a loving and consensual manner, and have enhanced their lives and their sexuality by doing so. Why on earth should anybody be ashamed of having more ways to get aroused than their neighbor has? Seems to me that such a person should feel lucky, not guilty.\n\nAlmost everything I've written in this book is simply technique: ways to understand our impulses and to make their passage into reality safer and easier. But the true spirit of erotic spanking can't be written in a book \u2013 it comes from the hearts, minds, genitals and butts of those who share this very special, very wonderful desire.\n\nIf you are fortunate enough to be such a person, congratulations \u2013 and welcome.\n\n_Janet W. Hardy (\"Lady Green\")_  \n _July 2015_\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Provide advice on finding others who share this interest. Discuss challenges and potential solutions, including discussing spanking with a current partner or seeking a new partner who is open to spanking. Offer suggestions on how to approach the subject of spanking with a partner and how to negotiate boundaries. Address the possibility of meeting someone in a vanilla environment and introducing them to spanking. Provide a list of resources for finding spanking-oriented environments, such as websites, clubs, and parties. Discuss the importance of finding a good match beyond just shared interests in spanking. Mention the option of professional dominants or submissives as a way to meet spanking needs. Offer advice on finding and interacting with a professional dominant or submissive.", "response": "\n\nAppendix A:  \nFinding Others\n\n**ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHALLENGES FACING** the would-be spanker or spankee is finding like-minded people \u2013 for actual play, or simply for support, friendship and information exchange.\n\nIf you're already partnered, do not make the mistake of assuming that your partner will be shocked, frightened or disgusted with your desires: more people share your interest than you might think. On the other hand, there are risks involved in telling your partner about your spanking interest \u2013 and once you tell, you can't take it back. Still, if you never ask, you'll never find out.\n\nOne thing I can tell you for sure is that the subtle-hint route \u2013 leaving a hairbrush on the nightstand and then picking a fight, or other such silliness \u2013 doesn't work.1\n\nNo, you're going to have to bite the bullet and say the words. If you're interested in topping, you might try saying something like, \"You know, it would really turn me on if you'd let me try smacking your bottom lightly sometime.\" If your urges run more in the bottom direction, try something along the lines of \"You know, I've been having some fantasies about being spanked. Could you try smacking my butt lightly sometime during sex and see how that feels?\" The idea is to be as non-pushy and non-intimidating as possible, giving your partner the chance to start slowly, to experiment a bit, and to work their way up gradually with plenty of attention to both partners' comfort. (This gradual approach is for your benefit as well as your partner's \u2013 I've heard a lot of stories about well-meaning partners who spanked their spankophile spouses well beyond their limits, thinking that this was what they really wanted.) It's a good idea to establish safewords from the very beginning \u2013 novice spankers and spankees find it very comforting to know that either partner has a way to communicate immediately if anything goes seriously wrong.\n\nOf course, you may discover that your partner wants absolutely nothing to do with even the lightest spanking games. This is a difficult problem. You may decide that your spanking desires are best kept as a fantasy. You and your partner may be able to work out some sort of arrangement in which you do your spanking play with someone else, while preserving the primary nature of your relationship.1 You may decide to spank or be spanked on the sly (which I don't encourage \u2013 I've been there and it's awful). Or you may decide that your spanking needs are so strong that you can't stay in a relationship where they can't be met. I encourage you to think any of these steps over very carefully, possibly with the help of a nonjudgmental mental health professional, before you do anything you'll regret later.\n\nOn a happier note, say you're not already coupled, and that you're looking for a new partner with whom to explore spanking. One possibility is to meet someone in a vanilla environment, and try to get them interested in spanking. This can work pretty well \u2013 a lot of people have unexplored fantasies in this area \u2013 if you are sensitive to their needs and willing to walk away from a relationship that doesn't offer what you're looking for.\n\nIf you're mouthy and uninhibited like me, anybody who's talked to you for more than five minutes knows all about your fantasies, interests and experiences. (If they're still standing there, you've got a hot prospect on your hands.) But most people prefer to introduce the subject of spanking a little later in the acquaintanceship, and a bit more gradually. I think the best time to discuss such matters is at the point when the two of you have established the definite possibility of a romantic interest, but before you have actually had sex. Tentative inquiries, similar to the ones I mentioned above in the section on interesting a current partner, are a good way to start. If your romantic interest isn't totally turned off to the idea, you can negotiate some sort of exploration together. If, however, you're met with disbelief, disgust, ridicule, or a simple firm \"thanks but no thanks,\" cut your losses and begin looking for a more suitable partner.\n\nIf you want to restrict your partner-finding to venues where you know that the people you talk to will already have some openness to spanking, your best bet is \u2013 duh! \u2013 a spanking-oriented environment. Websites about spanking and domestic discipline abound, but many last only a year or two and then are abandoned as their owners' lives take a different turn. I've listed a couple of the best established ones in the Resource Guide.\n\nIn the last few years, Fetlife.com has become the default meeting place for kinky people of all types. Although Fetlife tends toward heterosexuals and D/s practitioners, it offers discussion groups and event calendars for people of all persuasions, including spankophiles. Like all social media, Fetlife can be a black hole, sucking away far more of your time and energy than it deserves, so you may wish to limit your participation to only a few groups that are well suited to your situation, and to be careful about not getting immersed in endless debates. (The same suggestions apply to any other social media, such as the spanking groups on Facebook.)\n\nA few spanking clubs exist around the U.S.; the ones I was able to find out about are listed in the Resource Guide. Several of them, including the venerable Shadow Lane, put on spanking parties on a regular schedule, often twice a year. Some swing clubs are also open to spanking play, although they might be uncomfortable with very intense spanking. (Many of these environments are primarily heterosexual. As such, they often have to be very choosy about what single men they admit. Policies regarding gay or bisexual men vary from one group to another.)\n\nA tremendous number of general BDSM clubs are available around the country \u2013 men-only, women-only and pansexual. All are quite open to spanking play. If you join such a club, you will see many other types of erotic power exchange besides spanking, but nobody should push you to get involved in anything that doesn't interest you. Some spanking fans who attend such clubs find other areas of interest, while others stick strictly to spanking \u2013 either is fine, as long as you respect other people's desires as you would want yours respected. I have listed some of the largest and best-known BDSM clubs in the Resource Guide.1\n\nRemember \u2013 just because a potential partner is into spanking doesn't mean they're a good match for you. If someone wants to play in a way that is considerably less intense or more intense than you do, or if they're interested in roles or playstyles that don't work for you, the fact that they enjoy spanking isn't going to matter much. Even more important, a good spanking partner should also be, at minimum, a good friend \u2013 someone who shares your values and interests, who you like and enjoy spending time with. Putting up with someone you can't stand simply to get your spanking needs met is a very bad idea. Better to fantasize, masturbate and wait for Mr. or Ms. Right.\n\nA final word about finding people to play with. Many men, and more than a few women, get their regular dose of spanking from a professional dominant (or, occasionally, a professional submissive). A skilled and empathetic professional can actually be an excellent way to get started with spanking, or to get your needs met while you look for the top or bottom of your dreams. The best professional dominants (most are women, but some are men, often specializing in spanking other men) are extraordinarily good at starting from their client's fantasy and putting their own spin on it, administering spankings tailor-made to the customer's physical and emotional needs. Very few provide any form of genital stimulation for their clients, a precaution which is for your safety as well as theirs.\n\nFinding the right professional usually starts with a search through your local adult paper, or one of the national publications featuring ads from professional dominants and submissives. However, these ads give no clue as to who is a competent and trained professional, and who is a quick-buck artist with no concern for your safety or enjoyment.\n\nIn seeking a professional dominant or submissive, consider asking the following questions:\n\n\u2022Where and by whom were you trained?\n\n\u2022What kinds of scenes do you specialize in?\n\n\u2022Do you belong to any spanking or BDSM clubs?\n\n\u2022What kind of equipment, toys and safety gear does your playspace contain?\n\nWhile it is rude to take up too much of a professional's time on a phone call, any competent professional dominant or submissive should be able to answer these questions clearly and quickly.\n\nIf you find a professional who's right for you, treat them with the same courtesy and respect that you would your doctor, dentist, attorney or any other professional. I have heard of professional/client spanking relationships that lasted for years and contained a tremendous amount of mutual affection and respect: to get the intimacy and empathy you want from your spanking play, it's in your best interest to develop this kind of rapport.\n\n1Every nervous would-be spankophile tries it - I certainly did. It NEVER works.\n\n1The built-in boundaries of a sex worker or professional dominant may fit in well here.\n\n1Consider acquiring a copy of Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams' book \"Playing Well With Others\" for an extremely thorough introduction to finding and being welcomed at kink-oriented groups and events.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Provide advice on properly cleaning and disinfecting various types of spanking implements after use. Discuss the importance of cleaning spanking toys and the potential risks of not doing so. Provide specific instructions on cleaning toys made of metal, silicone, rubber, plastic, wood, rattan, leather, birches, and switches. Suggest alternatives if a toy cannot be properly cleaned. Mention the use of disinfectants, bleach solutions, and sunlight as methods for cleaning. Note any special considerations or precautions for certain materials.", "response": "\n\nAppendix B:  \nCleaning Spanking Implements\n\n**ANY SPANKING IMPLEMENT THAT HAS COME** into contact with blood, plasma (the clear fluid that oozes from abraded skin), semen, feces or vaginal fluids should be well cleaned before it is used on another bottom. If you're not absolutely positive that a toy hasn't come into contact with these fluids, assume that it has, and clean it.\n\nOne solution to this problem is to keep each toy for use on one bottom only. Many bottoms like to own their own toys for use on their own butts. But if your toys are shared by more than one bottom, you should know how to clean them. Here are some guidelines for keeping your toys clean.\n\nToys of _metal_ , or manmade materials such as _silicone, rubber_ and many _plastics_ , are a cinch. Just toss them in a solution of nine parts cool water to one part chlorine bleach for half an hour, then rinse them well and dry them. Or, if the toy is heatproof, run it through a regular cycle in the top rack of the dishwasher. If a toy is too large or long for either of these options, wash it with Wavicide or another lab-strength disinfectant, then rinse and dry it well. Another option is to leave the toy in bright natural sunlight for a few days (make sure all sides get their time in the sun).\n\nThe procedure for cleaning a toy of plant material such as _wood_ or _rattan_ depends on whether or not it is varnished. If it is, you can wash it well with disinfectant, rinse it and dry it. (Note: some disinfectants remove some kinds of varnish. If this happens to your toy, sand it smooth with light-grade sandpaper, then revarnish it with a couple of coats of varnish \u2013 urethane for inflexible toys like paddles, marine spar varnish for flexible toys like canes.)\n\nUnvarnished toys are difficult to clean. If an unvarnished toy of mine got contaminated with someone's fluids, I'd probably give the bottom that toy for their exclusive use. But if you're determined to hang onto the toy, leaving it in direct sunlight for a couple of days, turning it over to make sure the sunlight reaches all of its surfaces, should kill most of the bugs on it. Or you can sand it very well, starting with heavy sandpaper and moving toward lighter paper until its surface is smooth.\n\n_Birches_ and _switches_ should never be used on more than one bottom \u2013 they're too likely to break skin, and they're impossible to clean.\n\nCleaning _leather toys_ is a bit of a project, but it's not complicated. First, wash the toy well with saddle soap and warm water. Then wipe a thick coat of disinfectant all over the surface of the leather. (Disinfectants may stain light-colored leather. I'd keep light-colored leather toys for use in situations where they're not likely to come into contact with body fluids.) Let the toy dry thoroughly, then wipe it clean with a damp cloth, and recondition it with a good-quality hide rejuvenator.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Discuss the combination of bondage with spanking, including the potential risks and precautions. Provide advice for those interested in incorporating bondage into their spanking play, including the importance of proper materials, avoiding certain areas of the body, and being prepared for emergencies. Mention the need for proper training and equipment in case of an emergency. Also, suggest resources for further learning about BDSM and bondage.", "response": "\n\nAppendix C:  \nCombining Bondage With Spanking\n\n**SOME SPANKING FANS ARE VERY TURNED** off by the idea of bondage, while others can't begin to enjoy a spanking until they (or their victims) are well fastened down.\n\nIf you like the idea of adding bondage to your spanking play, I strongly recommend that you buy one or two of the basic BDSM texts listed in the Resource Guide, or attend classes or workshops put on by your local BDSM club. Improperly done bondage can be dangerous in and of itself, and bondage also increases the risks of other kinds of problems that might take place during your scene.\n\nAt a minimum, if you want to experiment with bondage, please keep in mind the following guidelines:\n\n\u2022Use materials that are broad enough not to cut into skin. (Nylon stockings, often the first choice of novices, are notorious for causing problems.) If you're using rope, use soft, relatively thick rope, and place several coils around each limb. Better yet, invest in a good set of leather or nylon restraints (not metal handcuffs).\n\n\u2022Never tie anybody up unless you know exactly how you'd get them loose in case of an emergency such as a fire, panic attack or sudden illness. Don't assume that you can untie a knot quickly under emergency conditions \u2013 knots jam. Keep a knife or scissors, strong and sharp enough to cut quickly through your bondage materials, within arm's reach; paramedic shears, available in medical supply stores, are ideal. If you have someone standing with their hands tied overhead, think about how you'd get that person down if they suddenly fainted. (Hint: riding supply and marine supply stores sell an item called a \"panic snap\" that can be released under pressure.)\n\n\u2022Do not place restraints tightly over places where nerves or blood vessels are close to the surface of the skin. The insides and sides of wrists and the backs of knees are particularly vulnerable. And I hope I don't have to tell you not to place any bondage material across the front of anyone's neck.\n\n\u2022Be aware that emergencies happen: bottoms have emotional flashbacks or physical illnesses; fires, earth-quakes and hurricanes don't always respect your desire for a nice happy spanking; children and family members sometimes need immediate attention. A top who places a bottom in bondage is taking responsibility for their welfare in these and other emergency situations. Equip your play space with emergency lighting, fire extinguishers and a first-aid kit. I also strongly encourage tops (and, for that matter, bottoms) to obtain training in basic first aid and cardiopulmonary resuscitation; your bottom's emotional and physical well-being is in your hands.\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write an appendix for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Discuss the use of canes, including their history, different types, and techniques. Include personal anecdotes and advice for both beginners and experienced practitioners. Mention different materials that canes can be made from and their unique characteristics. Also, provide safety tips and precautions to take when using canes.", "response": "\n\nAppendix D:  \nSome Special Notes on Caning\n\n**GROWING UP AS I DID IN THE WHITE-BREAD** American suburbs of the '50s and '60s, the furthest my spanking imagination extended was to the implements I'd heard described by my friends: hairbrushes, paddles, belts. I'd read about kids whose folks cut switches from trees, but that was in the South \u2013 although I was certainly titillated by the idea. I'd never heard of a cane.\n\nI can't remember now when I first did, or what I imagined at the time: probably, like many with no exposure to caning-rich British culture, the thick clumsy implements used for walking in the U.S. How graceless! How horrifying! I certainly wanted no part of striking anybody with anything as likely to break a bone as to impel a wail of pain/pleasure.\n\nSo it wasn't until the late 1980s, when I was well into adulthood and over the threshold of the kink world, that I first saw a photograph of a slim, graceful, lovely rattan cane. The moment I saw it, I experienced a thrill of desire and I knew, raw novice that I was, that I had to have one of those.\n\nIt wasn't easy. I was living at the time in a small California city with no BDSM community and no stores. I prowled antique stores looking for something comparable, but no dice. A few books did exist which could have helped me,1 but they were targeted to gay and lesbian players and I did not know of their existence.\n\nFast forward a year or two. I'd attended my first BDSM club meeeting and met there the man who was to become my partner of thirteen years. He, wonder of wonders, owned a rattan cane \u2013 a shortish, thickish one (still my personal preference). While I'd tried it on him a time or two, impact play was not a bottoming activity he enjoyed much, although just the feeling of the rattan in my hand thrilled me. However, one night he tried it on me in what I've heard called the \"California style\" of caning \u2013 brisk moderate taps rained down quickly over a broad area of my butt. The fast-building sting was exciting but hard for me to process as anything but pure pain. I, never the stoic, had been happily thrashing and shrieking all over the bed as the fiery rain built its sensation over my reddening buttocks.\n\nHe turned to return the cane to its toybag and I raised my head. \"Hon?\" I queried. \"Can I ask for something?\"1\n\n\"Sure,\" he replied. \"What?\"\n\n\"Could you try hitting me with that one time, as hard as you can?\"\n\nHe looked at me as though I'd gone insane (a look I was to see many times in the years to come). \"Um, I guess. Are you sure?\"\n\nI gave an answer that was also to recur many times: \"As sure as I'll ever be.\"\n\nHe came back to the bed and took his stance: standing over me, legs spread, with the cane in both hands raised high over and behind his head. After a test swing or two to get his range, he brought it down with that unmistakable whir, with his full weight behind it. I felt a searing line of white heat across my ass that blossomed immediately, then ebbed for a moment, then whooshed from its central line like the breath of a dragon expanding outward from its core to every centimeter of my body \u2013 including, but not exclusively, my genitals. The yell I let out came from the deepest place in my solar plexus and vibrated every cell in my body and didn't stop until I had exhaled every molecule of oxygen I had.\n\nI inhaled, and the next breath that came out was a gale of laughter. \"Oh my god, that was _amazing_ ,\" I howled. \"Do that again.\"\n\nEver since then, I've caned and been caned every chance I've gotten. If I could only pack one toy, it would be a shortish, thickish, medium-rigid rattan cane.\n\nThe Glamor of the Cane\n\nThe influence of the cane comes to us from two parts of the globe: the United Kingdom, where its origin is the classroom, and the Far East, where its origin is the courtroom. The two are quite different.\n\nWhile both canes are these days made of rattan, the British whipping cane is typically less than three feet long, less than one-third of an inch in diameter, and designed to raise welts \u2013 essentially, to be used on children as a correctional implement.\n\nThe judicial cane, of the type used in Singapore and other countries in Asia and Africa, is typically four feet long, one-half inch in diameter, and intended to break the skin. The man who wields such a cane must be specially trained to do so accurately. (I have owned such a cane and eventually cut it down by a foot; it wavered too much as I swung it for me to feel okay about using it, even relatively lightly.) It is expected that the adult who receives such a judicial caning will be permanently physically scarred by the experience.\n\nThe British schoolchild is typically bent over a desk, without restraint, and required to maintain that position for a set number of strokes, depending on the severity of the offense \u2013 typically three to six. The caning is typically administered with a snap of the forearm and wrist, by a teacher or headmaster.\n\nThe criminal is strapped into a frame that bends him over into a much harsher position. The number of strokes is similar to that of the British caning, also depending on the nature of the offense. The caning is administered by a full-body stroke from a trained martial artist.\n\nFantasize about either type of caning, as you prefer, but understand that they are very different.\n\nCanes are used in a variety of ways in actual play, and offer a far broader range of sensation than many novices believe \u2013 I know one \"sensuous caning\" specialist who claims, and I believe him, that bottoms have fallen into blissful sleep under his cane. However, the romance and glamour of the cane generally stems from its association with the strict British schoolmistresses and schoolmasters of the Victorian era, as immortalized in \"Victorian\" classics such as _Harriet Marwood, Governess_ and _Frank and I_. (These books were generally actually published in the early twentieth century, although set in the Victorian era.)\n\nHence, the accoutrements that we associate with caning most often have a Victorian or Edwardian flavor: for the top, the long skirt and high-necked blouse for a woman or tweedy suit for a man; for the bottom, the schoolgirl or schoolboy uniform; for setting, the schoolroom or dormitory or nursery; for language, a formally worded reproach from the top, and humble words of penitence from the bottom. This is the stuff of fantasy, and its glamour is undeniable to those of us who love canes.\n\nAs we move into reality, though, accommodations must usually be made. Not only can few of us afford full costumes and sets \u2013 that is the least of our problems; humans are imaginative creatures. More to the point, only the rarest of bottoms can find pleasure in the searing cut of rattan against flesh without the grace of warmup or the tenderness of aftercare. This sensation is not intended to carry any kind of pleasure \u2013 it is meant to punish, and to punish only, with no love or joy implied or meant. When those of us who are new to caning try to enact such fantasies, we may find the harsh brakes of reality applied to our personal asphalt in an extremely jarring manner, with subsequent real-world harm: such Monday mornings are no fun at all (and may last for much longer than Monday).\n\nI urge you to cherish your fantasies \u2013 they are the stuff from which you will build your scenes \u2013 but to understand that they are conceptual drawings and not blueprints.\n\nThe Craft of Caning\n\nTo the uninitiated, a cane looks like, well, a stick. And to be sure, there is something to be said for their point of view: it _is_ a stick. While canes may be made of a variety of different materials, they all have in common their basic stick-ness. They range from being whippy enough to be able to be bent tip-to-tip, to being almost entirely rigid; most are somewhere in between. For the purposes of this discussion, I'll assume moderate rigidity, but you can extrapolate greater or lesser rigidity depending on the cane you're using. (I suggest that before using any cane, you test its rigidity by bending it slightly between your hands. Actually, I suggest that before using any cane, you try at least a few test whacks on your own body \u2013 I usually use the outside of my right calf and/or the front of my right thigh, depending on the length of the cane \u2013 and/or have a knowledgeable friend give you a few test whacks on your butt. But I'm not your mommy; I just think that this is what responsible tops do. Let your conscience be your guide.)\n\nSymmetry\n\nUnless you're trying to achieve a special effect, it is gracious and artistic to achieve symmetry in your caning. Thus, unless you're fortunate enough to be ambidextrous, you will have to learn some way to reach the cheek that is not reachable with your dominant hand. The easy way is to put your bottom face-down on a table or bed and simply walk back and forth. Nothing wrong with this option: a great many bottoms can accept a more intense caning in this position anyway. But if you want your bottom in a standing or bent-over position, you will need to learn one of three options: you can learn to cane with your \"off\" hand, you can learn to cane with your dominant hand while crouching, or you can learn to cane backhanded.\n\nI am hopeless with my left hand, so I've discarded that option, but I've watched other caners who are very good \u2013 as with all caning, I suggest you practice on inanimate objects before trying it on a human being.\n\nThe crouching option is hard to describe, but can be done well if your balance is good. Assuming you're righthanded, you crouch to your bottom's right, facing them. Raise the cane to your left shoulder, parallel to the ground, with your palm facing their body, and swing it smoothly at their butt, aiming slightly upward.\n\nIn general, though, I prefer the backhand. Through the years, I've come to the point where my backhand stroke is actually slightly stronger and more accurate than my forehand (I have a weak shoulder and the backhand is less affected by it). If you don't know how to do a backhand swing, have a tennis-playing friend show you; not just your caning, but all your flagellatory activities, will be improved by this important stroke. Big Hint: I like to start the stroke by grasping the striking end of the cane in my left hand, thus adding \"snap\" to its stroke as it swings.\n\nSting/Thud\n\nWe discussed sting and thud back in Chapter 9, \"Implements.\" All canes are stingy to some degree, because they're all narrow and relatively lightweight. I have a rattan cane that's really more of a club \u2013 about 27\u2032 long and 1\u2032 across \u2013 and even it packs a significant edge of sting along with its clublike thud. And the slenderest of canes is nearly pure sting.\n\nBut heavier and more rigid canes can definitely have thud along with sting, and some achieve a lovely thud/sting balance that I like to call \"bite\" \u2013 sinking deep down through every layer of tissue with an intensity achieved by no other pain toy. It's this kind of bite, in my opinion, that makes the cane truly the queen of flagellation implements.\n\nIt is possible to control thud and sting levels with your caning technique. If you are using a heavy, thuddy cane and want it to feel stingier, swing it nearly parallel to the skin so that it strikes a glancing blow that skims along the surface of the skin \u2013 it will sting like a bee. Similarly, snapping the cane onto the skin as though it were going to go only an inch or two beneath the surface and then snatching it back will give a stingier stroke.\n\nContrariwise, sending a cane firmly and perpendicularly directly down onto the skin, with no snap and lots of follow-through, will maximize whatever thud it may have. (If it's a slender, whippy cane, nothing on earth will make it feel thuddy, except maybe wrapping it in duct tape. Sorry.) If your bottom has a hard time processing sting, you can help by \"rubbing away the sting\" \u2013 see Chapter 13 for details.\n\nPacing\n\nTo explain the pacing of caning, first I have to explain a bit about what happens when a cane strikes skin; it's not exactly like any other implement. Oddly enough, canes have more in common in at least one way with an implement you wouldn't expect than they do with other flagellation implements like floggers, paddles and straps. Please refer back to the beginning of this chapter, where I described the sensations of my first hard cane stroke \u2013 the immediate jolt of pain, the momentary ebbing, then the slow secondary blossoming. This is very typical. Now look at the picture of the classic \"two track\" cane welt on page 149. So here we have two cane-related phenomena that are not like other flagellation implements: a two-phase sensation, and a two-track welt. On the other hand, the adult toy store offers us one other pain implement that also has a two-phase sensation: the lowly clamp, that notoriously \"hurts for a moment going on, then calms down, and then hurts worse coming off.\"\n\nObviously, I have no scientific data to back me up on this. (If any reader is willing to fund a study, write to me care of Greenery Press.) But it seems likely to me that what happens when cane strikes skin is essentially the same as what happens when clamp meets skin, compressed into a much smaller time frame, as follows: The cane descends rapidly and forcefully onto the skin. (Look closely and you can see a momentary flash of pure white, like a lightning strike, as the skin is compressed and the blood forced out of it.) The pain is instantaneous. The skin on either side of the cane stroke is suddenly and dramatically stretched, hence creating the \"two tracks\" of the classic cane welt. This phase of the sensation is comparable to the sensation of the clamp going on, and fades almost instantaneously.\n\nOne to ten seconds later, depending on the force of the strike, the blood flows back into the compressed tissue \u2013 comparable to the sensation of the clamp coming off. A second, slower, more intense wave of pain washes over the recipient, often followed by a flood of endorphins (and, sometimes, by a corresponding flood of giggles).\n\n_No other spanking implement but the cane leaves a two-track \"tramline.\"_\n\nWhat this means to you, the caner, is that pacing is essential to crafting a caning. If you want your caning to go on for a long time, at a majestic pace, you wait until the second wave has subsided before you start your next stroke. If you want to build to a crescendo, you challenge your bottom by building wave on top of wave. Learn to watch your bottom with the utmost of care; you will see these waves travel over the skin like ripples on a lake.\n\nTypes of Canes\n\nMost of us, when we think of canes, think immediately of rattan. And for good reason: I believe rattan offers overall the liveliest action and most vibrant sensation of all cane materials. But when I lay out all the canes and cane-type toys in my toy box, rattan proliferates but is far from alone \u2013 my canes range from a delicate conductor's baton of fiberglass to a heavy club of Teflon. And I've seen and coveted canes of many other shapes and materials. So, herewith, a highly idiosyncratic and opinionated guide to cane shapes, sizes and materials.\n\nNatural Materials\n\n_Rattan_ is to canes as wood is to chairs: it's possible to make perfectly nice ones out of other materials, but rattan just seems somehow _right_. Rattan is a flexible natural reed that grows in marshy areas in Indonesia and similar climates, and is available cheaply all over the U.S. While it is easy to make your own canes of rattan, I strongly recommend that your first few rattan canes be purchased from a professional, so you can learn your preferences regarding length, thickness, springiness, balance, varnish and handle finish before you go to the trouble of making canes.\n\nMany who do not know much about canes refer to the material of which they are made as \"bamboo.\" Rattan and bamboo are different materials. While they are both reeds, you can tell which is which by looking at the joints. The joint in a piece of rattan looks like a telescope, with one piece fitting slightly inside the next. The joint in a piece of bamboo looks more as if you'd taken a tube of cloth in your hands and moved your hands closer together so that the cloth formed a ridge, with neither piece \"inside\" the other.\n\nThe reason this is an important difference is that the two reeds break differently. If rattan breaks, it is likely to break cleanly across \u2013 your cane will be broken but your bottom will be intact. Bamboo, on the other hand, can break lengthwise, leaving an edge of knifelike sharpness. If you don't notice the break before striking your bottom, you can cut or pinch the bottom's flesh badly. Thus, I don't recommend bamboo for caning, except perhaps for very light taps. This includes the cheap bamboo garden stakes that are many people's first experiment with caning \u2013 if you must buy these, please use them very lightly as an experiment, and if you like the way they feel, invest in rattan or one of the other materials described here before going further.\n\nSome people prefer their rattan canes varnished, some unvarnished. The advantage to varnish is that it looks cooler and that very minor amounts of body fluids can be cleaned off it with disinfectant. However, if you want to soak or steam your cane to keep it supple, you will have to either leave an end unvarnished or sand a bit of the varnish away.\n\nThe advantage to unvarnished rattan is that maintenance is easier, but if you get fluids on an unvarnished cane it's best to give it to the person whose fluids are on it. Your choice. (I prefer varnished, for whatever that's worth.)\n\nI owned one rattan cane that had been entirely dipped in tool dip, which was great insofar as it was terrifically easy to keep clean. However, it was impossible to keep supple and eventually broke under hard use. Life is full of tradeoffs.\n\nWhen buying a rattan cane, look for:\n\n\u2022joints and a tip that have been sanded smooth\n\n\u2022a nice straight shaft \u2013 however, rattan is a natural material, and no rattan cane is going to be perfectly straight\n\n\u2022a good sensation \u2013 try it on yourself, or have a friend try it on you, so you can see how it feels\n\n\u2022a handle that feels comfortable in your hand\n\n\u2022a length and width that seem well suited to your body and the way you swing (generally, the shorter you are, the shorter your canes should be \u2013 I'm 5\u20314\u2032 and I like my canes about 2\u00bd\u2031 long)\n\n\u2022a nice balance that doesn't make you want to choke up on the handle\n\n\u2022your preferred type of finish \u2013 if varnish, no blobs, sags or drips\n\nRattan also requires some maintenance. Rattan canes should never be kept leaning against a wall! They'll get a curve in their length that is nearly impossible to remove. Store them flat, or hang them up by the crook in the handle (if you like crook-handled canes; I don't), or by a hanging loop either built into the cane or made by wrapping a rubber band tightly around the handle.\n\nAlso, rattan canes must be kept moist \u2013 if you hear a faint rattling noise when your cane strikes flesh, that's a warning sign that your cane is drying and may break soon. To refresh it, you can keep it hanging in a bathroom or other humid area, or drop it in a bathtub or wallpaper tray with enough water to cover it well. Some cane aficionadoes add salt to the water, claiming that it prevents the cane from mildewing, but I personally have never encountered a mildewed cane. A well-moistened cane is relatively heavy, springy and lively, and far likelier to give a nice bitey sensation.\n\nI've seen a couple of very nice canes that are standard rattan canes with smooth, tight leather coverings \u2013 the leather mitigates a bit of the sting and imparts the \"bite\" quality that cane-lovers adore, besides giving the cane a fabulously Erich Von Stroheim fetish look. These are more of an investment than a standard rattan cane, but they impress me quite a bit.\n\n_Reed_ is a bit like rattan, but it's the core of a generic reed and has no joints. Its outside sometimes has a slightly serrated or \"toothed\" appearance, a bit like the spline that is used to keep window screens in their frames but not nearly so extreme. It tends to be very flexible and to make very light, whippy canes. It is not typically varnished.\n\nI'm not a huge fan of reed canes, but for sting fans they're a dream come true, and reed is very inexpensive so you can buy or make plenty of them for your collection. The end of a reed cane should be sanded nice and round, just like a rattan one. Check the shaft to make sure there are no splintery parts.\n\nI've had _wood_ dowels used on me as canes, and while they're not the equal of rattan, they haven't been half bad. Wood doesn't have the spring or bite of rattan; it's rigid and a bit unforgiving. But in many parts of the country, rattan canes can be hard to find, particularly for beginners who are just beginning to experiment with caning. And I'd certainly rather see someone experiment with a dowel than with a bamboo garden stake \u2013 it's safer (less likelihood of lateral splitting) and more controllable. On the other hand, it's tough to achieve that fabulous \"bite\" with a dowel, and I'd hate to see someone decide that they just weren't into caning on the basis of their experience with a hunk of wood. Still, if you promise to keep an open mind, you might give it a try if a dowel is the best you can do for now. I'd start with something about \u215c thick and 30\u2032 long, at least to start \u2013 you can try something thinner, thicker, longer or shorter later.\n\nI was also recently given an absolutely stunning inlaid wooden cane, as beautiful as handmade furniture. It's not terribly flexible but it's easy to control, and it makes me feel wealthy to use it.\n\n_Switches._ If you have a tree in your back yard with relatively long, straight branches \u2013 willows are great, and many fruit trees as well \u2013 you have a very intense caning implement as near as your penknife. Start gently with switches \u2013 I'd try them on your own hide before you use one on your partner; they can be both extremely painful and more damaging to skin than you might think. Be especially careful about small buds, twigs and bits of bark, which can leave small wounds, welts and scrapes (and which will scatter all over your clean floors). Not a lightweight toy, but intense, fun, and well suited to various role-plays.\n\nManmade Materials\n\nIt's probably impossible to describe every manmade material anyone's ever crafted a cane from, but here are a few of the most common.\n\nThe commonest type of manmade cane I see is _fiberglass_. Fiberglass is usually white in color, opaque, and lightweight; it tends to be fairly flexible and whippy. My big concern about fiberglass is that some less expensive fiberglass canes may shed fibers which can embed themselves in skin \u2013 this may or may not be dangerous, but it worries me. Given that I consider my hide more disposable than that of my bottoms, I always run a fiberglass cane through my fingers in each direction before applying it to anyone else. If I feel any rough edges or if a sliver comes off in my hand, I discard the cane for good. (Fortunately, fiberglass canes are usually quite inexpensive.)\n\nOne significant exception that's worth mentioning here is one of my favorite toys \u2013 a conductor's baton from a music store, a small, light cane with a bulb-shaped cork handle. I've carried the baton loose in my toybag for years and it's never shed a single sliver, so I know that high-quality fiberglass is not necessarily prone to the same problems as its less expensive counterparts.\n\n_Delrin_ is a black substance that feels like hard rubber and is quite heavy in weight; I'm told its real-world use is for bumpers on boats. Canes of Delrin are extremely thuddy \u2013 I'm a bit choosy about who I'll let use a Delrin cane on me, as a missed stroke could potentially break a tailbone. Still, Delrin delivers a deep-down jolt that it's hard to get with any other cane material, and any thud slut is likely to want a Delrin cane or two.\n\n_Lucite_ canes' crystal-clear gleam makes them exceptionally pretty to look at, and they are available in a variety of colors. They are quite rigid and have some tendency to break (careful how you store them if your toybag is subject to rough handling). I've seen canes of twisted Lucite whose harsh edges give me pause; I wouldn't let a beginner use such an item on me.\n\nI own a cane of _Teflon_ , but its dimensions and weight really place it more genuinely in the \"club\" class \u2013 it's about >\u2032 across, 20\u2032 long and weighs almost a pound, and its sensation has almost none of the characteristic sting of a cane, so I mention it here only for the sake of completeness.\n\nI've also seen canes of burnished _aluminum_ , which are as completely rigid as it's possible for a cane to be.\n\nSome Special Caning Techniques\n\nThere's a lot more to caning than simply winding up and letting fly: a cane can be one of the most versatile toys in your toybag, offering anything from a sensuous massage to a tantric journey to a Herculean ordeal. Here are a few of my favorite caning tricks, some sweet and some sneaky.\n\n\u2022 _The scary swish._ The sound of a cane whirring through the air is a terrifying, yet very erotic, stimulus for a lot of bottoms. Let them thrill to the sound effects a time or two before you actually land a stroke. (Of course, unless you're doing a punishment caning, your first stroke will be nowhere near that hard \u2013 but the swish plants the fantasy in their brain before you begin, and builds a nice sense of dread.)\n\n\u2022 _Rubbing away the sting._ I was taught this technique by my coauthor Dossie Easton, who learned it in turn many years ago from the scene elder Patrick Califia. It is especially helpful with bottoms who have a hard time processing canes in specific or sting in general. Land your cane stroke, and then as quickly as possible \u2013 a fraction of a second later \u2013 place the heel of your hand on the canestroke and rub the area quite firmly, as though you were erasing the memory of the stroke from the skin. It feels wonderful and literally does seem to \"erase\" the sting.\n\n\u2022 _Unpredictable._ One of the mindsets that can cause a bottom to panic and safeword is getting stuck in the future \u2013 worrying about what's going to happen next, and whether they're going to be able to deal with it, instead of staying in the moment. Sometimes, I like to prevent a bottom from freaking out about the future by using two different implements, one stingy, one thuddy. I keep one toy tucked under my arm while I use the other.\n\nTypically, I give the bottom just enough strokes that I notice them starting to struggle with the sensation \u2013 then switch to the other one to give them a break. They can't get freaked out about what's going to happen next, because the minute they start to anticipate what's coming, you switch and give them what they're not expecting. Bottoms can get very tranced out with this steady but unpredictable rain of sensation.\n\n\u2022 _\"Tap tap tap whack.\"_ This is a particularly useful technique if you're relying primarily on the cane in your scene, without any other warmup implements\u2026or if you're trying to ramp up a scene fairly quickly without spending as much time as usual on warmup (not recommended unless you and your bottom are both experienced players). Start with quick, rhythmic taps covering the whole caning area, using only your wrist, without letup. These should feel about like being out in a brisk rainstorm, just barely stinging the skin, not enough to build any resistance in the bottom at first. Keep that up as you watch carefully to see them relax and settle into the sensation. Gradually, start tapping just a tiny bit harder, so it stings just a little bit more and they start to tense up a bit, then relax again as they get used to it\u2026then a little bit more. When they're handling a reasonable, consistent level of sting, surprise them with a quick moderate \"whack\" that doesn't break the rhythm at all, and go back to the quick taps at the previous level. Let them relax from the surprise. Then another whack, then back. Relax again. Next time, maybe two whacks \u2013 but don't break the rhythm. Next time, one really hard whack, and back to the rhythm. Then two hard whacks, and back. You can probably figure this out from here.\n\nWhen you have them up to being able to take three or four fairly hard whacks, they are Officially Warmed Up, and you can keep that up indefinitely, or go on to a more intense stroke-by-stroke caning.\n\nAfter the caning is over, of course, there will be plenty of time for compliments (\"you took that so well,\" \"I'm so proud of you,\" \"that turned me on so much,\" et al), cuddling, warm blankets, snacks, lots of drinks of water for both of you, and so on. Caning, like all spanking, is an act of profound intimacy \u2013 use this time of lowered barriers to show your affection and trust for one another and to bask in that endorphin-y glow.\n\n1\"Coming to Power\" by Samois and Larry Townsend's \"The Leatherman's Handbook.\"\n\n1No, I'm not terribly submissive - why do you ask?\n"}
{"input": " Prompt: Write a resource guide for a book about consensual erotic spanking. Include sections on where to find non-judgmental professionals, help for those being spanked against their will, and resources for minor injuries related to spanking. Also, provide a list of spanking groups and general BDSM clubs in various cities. Include a list of recommended nonfiction and fiction books about spanking, as well as mainstream media that features spanking scenes.", "response": "\n\nResource Guide\n\nIn Case of Problems\n\nFor a list of physicans, chiropractors, therapists and other professionals who will not be judgmental about your spanking interest, check:\n\nwww.ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals.html\n\nIf you are being spanked against your will and want help in preventing it, or if you are spanking someone against their will and want help in stopping:\n\nNational Domestic Violence Hotline  \n(800) 799-SAFE  \nor check the front of your phone book for local resources.\n\nFor help with care of minor spanking-related injuries, this is a good reference book:\n\n_Sports Medicine for Coaches & Trainers_  \nEdward J. Shahady, M.D., & Michael J. Petrizzi, M.D.  \nUniversity of North Carolina Press, Chapel Hill, NC\n\nIf you have general questions about spanking or other forms of erotic behavior:\n\nSan Francisco Sex Information  \nwww.sfsi.org  \n(415) 989-7374\n\nSpanking Groups\n\nThis is far from an exhaustive list of the spanking groups throughout the U.S. Many are small, local, and do not widely publicize their activities. Your local BDSM club or alternative newspaper may be able to put you in touch with a group near you\u2026or try entering the search terms _spanking, group_ and the name of your city into your favorite search engine.\n\nCrimson Moon (Chicago)  \nwww.chicagocrimsonmoon.net\n\nFlorida Moonshine  \nwww.floridamoonshine.net\n\nShadow Lane (Los Angeles and Las Vegas)  \nwww.shadowlane.com\n\nSpanking Club of New York  \nwww.scony.com\n\nStrictly Spanking New York  \nparties.strictlyspankingnetwork.com\n\nGeneral BDSM Clubs\n\nAgain, this is a list which is far from complete \u2013 hundreds if not thousands of BDSM clubs have sprung up across the U.S. and worldwide. These, however, are some of the largest, and may be able to put you in touch with a club nearer you, or with a male-only or female-only club if that is your preference. Please remember that while BDSM may include many activities besides spanking, many BDSM folks are also avid spanking fans.\n\nNational Leather Association  \nPansexual but membership is primarily gay & lesbian. Chapters in many cities.  \nwww.nla-international.com\n\nTES (New York)  \nThe oldest pansexual BDSM club in the U.S. In addition to its regular programs, it also maintains a Spanking special interest group.\n\nThe Society of Janus (San Francisco)  \nwww.soj.org\n\nBlack Rose (Washington DC)  \nwww.br.org\n\nBooks\n\nNonfiction\n\nThis is, as far as I know, the only widely distributed how-to book entirely about spanking. However, several of the more general BDSM books out there contain excellent spanking material. Greenery Press publishes several of the best (if I do say so myself); check the back page of this book for listings. In addition, I recommend:\n\n_Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely_  \nWilliam A. Henkin, Ph.D., and Sybil Holiday, CCSSE, Daedalus Press, Los Angeles.\n\n_Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission_  \nBrame, Brame & Jacobs, Villard Books, NY.\n\n_Learning The Ropes_  \nRace Bannon. Daedalus Press, Los Angeles.\n\n_Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns_  \nPhilip Miller & Molly Devon. Mystic Rose Books, Fairfield, CT.\n\n_The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge_  \nTristan Taormino. Cleis Press, San Francisco.\n\nFiction\n\nThere are about three zillion hot erotic novels that are either entirely or mostly about spanking, and I wouldn't dream of trying to list even a fraction of them here. The recent flowering of e-book publishing has increased the amount of available spanking literature by a factor of at least a hundred \u2013 entering the keyword \"spanking\" into Amazon's Kindle Books page turns up well over 12,000 books! I do, however, want to mention a couple of erotic spanking classics that have been widely enjoyed by many spanking fans. (Please consider all these books as erotica, not instruction. Many of them model behavior and play that is emotionally and/or physically dangerous or even impossible.)\n\nEve Howard, the doyenne of Shadow Lane, has been writing and publishing romantic boy-spanks-girl erotica since the 1980s, under the _Shadow Lane_ title. Volumes 1-12 are available as of this writing. Her magazine, _Stand Corrected,_ has also recently re-emerged after a long hiatus, featuring short fiction plus photography and interviews. Shadow Lane, www.shadowlane.com.\n\n_The Art of Spanking_ (graphic novel)  \nEnard, illustrated by Milo Manara, NBM Press, NY.\n\nThe Beauty Trilogy _(The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty's Punishment, Beauty's Release)._ A fourth novel _, Beauty's Kingdom_ , has recently been added to the series.  \nAnne Rice, Dutton Books, NY.\n\n_Harriet Marwood, Governess_  \nAnonymous, Grove Press, NY.\n\nAnd, of course:  \nThe Fifty Shades Trilogy _(Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed)._ Also _Grey,_ a recent addition told from the dominant's point of view.\n\nSpanking in the Mainstream Media\n\nThere are so many mainstream movies which include spanking that a complete list would almost be a book of its own. However, some favorites of spanking fans include _Secretary,_ starring Maggie Gyllenhal and James Spader, as well as John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara's _McClintock!_ and James Garner's _Tank._ Watch for robot spanking in _Class of 2000,_ public school caning in _If\u2026_ and _Flirting,_ and a deeply bizarre spanking scene with Christopher Lloyd and Sandra Bernhard (!) in _Track 29._\n\nTelevision programs that have included spanking scenes are almost too numerous to count these days. However, I'd cite the spanking scenes in _Ally McBeal_ (3:2, \"Buried Pleasures\"), _Community_ (1:18, \"Basic Genealogy\"), _Outlander_ (1:9, \"The Reckoning\") and multiple instances on _Weeds_ (notably 1:7, \"Yes I Can\"). Sadly, nearly all movie and TV spankings are given to women, so if you like to watch men getting spanked, you may have to resort to spanking porn \u2013 or do it yourself!\n\nRomance novels that contain some spanking scenes include Diana Gabaldon's _Outlander_ novels, Heather Graham's _Love Not a Rebel_ , Catherine Creel's _Texas Torment_ , _Captive Flame_ and _Texas Spitfire,_ Lane Harris's _Devil's Love,_ Judith McNaught's _Whitney, My Love_ , several novels by Karen Robards, and many more. (Thanks to the online folks who provided this information.)\n\nScience fiction and fantasy novels that have spanking scenes include almost everything by Sharon Green or John Norman, many novels by Robert Heinlein, and Johanna Lindsey's _Warrior Woman_. Also, watch especially for John Varley's novella \"The Persistence of Vision,\" which contains one of the most moving spanking scenes ever written.\n"}