| audio/001.wav|I'm not afraid of some high school kids. Watch this. | |
| audio/002.wav|Oh my gosh, I can't walk here? Oh look, it's a miracle! I'm walking! | |
| audio/003.wav|But you said I couldn't, but I'm doing it. | |
| audio/004.wav|Oh, listen to the hum of my butt. | |
| audio/005.wav|See you later! | |
| audio/006.wav|Oh, already having it! | |
| audio/007.wav|Those guys, they're just little acne-covered kitten. | |
| audio/008.wav|Guess not, I'm not so good with history. | |
| audio/009.wav|Well, I'm taking a course in the future. You know what happens in the future? We walk right past you. | |
| audio/010.wav|With four years, I can ignore you twice as hard. What, what? What, what? | |
| audio/011.wav|What just fricking happened?! | |
| audio/012.wav|Ha! I know right! | |
| audio/013.wav|Too long! | |
| audio/014.wav|How happy I am? Mom, up high. | |
| audio/015.wav|You got it, bro! | |
| audio/017.wav|Ha-ha-ha! Invisible?! Where do you come up with this stuff? Your mind is so beautiful! | |
| audio/018.wav|Yeah, take it in! | |
| audio/019.wav|Oh, yeah, tell me about it, Mr. Frond. I am processing up a storm, but I can really use a processing partner. | |
| audio/020.wav|Great idea! Your office, five minutes. | |
| audio/021.wav|I'm out of here. I'm gonna wait for that punk at the steps and get my ears back. | |
| audio/022.wav|No, you guys go home and lie to mom and dad. | |
| audio/023-079-080-101-126-129-146-183-246-274-288.wav|What? Stop it. Hey! Yeah! What? Stop. Boo! What? Terrible. What? Yup. | |
| audio/024.wav|Yeah, real warm. | |
| audio/025.wav|Hello, I see you're wearing my ears. Oh, they're off-center a smidge. Let me just... | |
| audio/026.wav|Fine. We're all young professionals here. I'm Louise, by the way. I-I don't think I got your name. | |
| audio/027.wav|Logan, what's this in my pocket? Oh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine dollars for the hat. | |
| audio/028.wav|You go to plan-school?! | |
| audio/029.wav|Why don't you? | |
| audio/030.wav|So, where are we going? My calendar is wide open. | |
| audio/031.wav|No, we're home now. Until I get those ears back, wherever you go, I go. | |
| audio/032.wav|Going to school, Logan? I'll join you. | |
| audio/033.wav|What do you do? You go to your locker before you go to class, or you go to class. Gotta pee? What's the routine here? | |
| audio/034.wav|Well, you think I won't go in there? I'm not giving up, Logan. I will wear you down. | |
| audio/035.wav|Let the record show that I tried to reason with you, Logan! Now I have to go nuclear! | |
| audio/036.wav|I hope I'm not interrupting dinner ma'am. But your son, he stole something of mine. | |
| audio/037.wav|I didn't want to tattle, but you left me no choice. | |
| audio/038.wav|Bull, you threw them away. | |
| audio/039.wav|Where did you throw them away? | |
| audio/040.wav|Which one, Logan? It's a chain! | |
| audio/041.wav|No! | |
| audio/042.wav|It's pink with ears! | |
| audio/043.wav|How thoughtful of you all, but I don't need a hat to complete me. I'm all I need. Just me. | |
| audio/044.wav|Good night, Linda. Thank you for thinking about me. | |
| audio/045.wav|Ha! Ha! Ha! Question. How's your hearing? | |
| audio/046.wav|Well, then I guess you can hear that. | |
| audio/047.wav|Thank you! Hell has no fury! Did you hear that part about... | |
| audio/048_01.wav|Good. 'Cause the rest of it is, hell half no fury like I do, Logan! | |
| audio/048_02.wav|You took my ears and threw them away and now these guys are going to take your ears and throw them away. | |
| audio/049.wav|My-my ears! | |
| audio/050.wav|Don't ever mess with us again, Logan. Now get the hell out of here! | |
| audio/051.wav|Maybe. | |
| audio/052.wav|And maybe I know someone who needs them more than me. Look, these ears mean a lot to you, Logan. So how about you keep them? | |
| audio/053.wav|No friggin way, I was just messing with you, you idiot! | |
| audio/054.wav|Welcome home, ears. Let's get you a beer. Dad, two beers. | |
| audio/055.wav|They're for my ears! | |
| audio/056.wav|Whoa, whoa, whoa. Cynthia as in Logan's mom? As in Logan, my arch enemy? | |
| audio/057.wav|Tell her to tell Logan he's a- | |
| audio/058.wav|And his head looks like... | |
| audio/059.wav|And his face sounds like | |
| audio/060.wav|He'll know what it means. | |
| audio/061.wav|Do you want me to write it down then? | |
| audio/062.wav|Congrats, Dad! | |
| audio/063.wav|Logan? No! Dad! | |
| audio/064.wav|Okay, you got me. It's a joke. You'd never really hire Logan | |
| audio/065.wav|Wait, you're paying this butt brain? | |
| audio/066.wav|This is a terrible idea, Dad. You've taken the only good thing about this restaurant. It's lack of Logan, and you added Logan! | |
| audio/067.wav|You are not appropriate for the workplace! | |
| audio/068.wav|Dad, I'm nine. I spit out vegetables and hide them around the house. | |
| audio/069.wav|Fine. | |
| audio/070.wav|First time he even... | |
| audio/071_01.wav|Okay, Logan, fellow employee. | |
| audio/071_02.wav|This is the spot I've chosen for you to stand in for the rest of the day. It's out of the way, we won't have to smell or hear you, and when it's time to punch out, there's the door. | |
| audio/072.wav|Maybe I wasn't clear, Logan. You stand in your spot, face the wall, silently, till it's time to go home and everything will be fine. | |
| audio/073.wav|What? | |
| audio/074.wav|Hey, Mom, how you doing? Good. So, are we really sure this Logan thing is worth it? I mean, dad's a family member, but he's ranked, like, fourth or fifth. | |
| audio/075.wav|What were you saying, mother? Something about people you don't like? | |
| audio/076.wav|Hi. If I could just jump in here. I don't know if I can take Logan much longer before I slap that mess. | |
| audio/077.wav|Start slapping faces. Got it! | |
| audio/078.wav|Fine, but just so you know, I got this guy and this guy, and they're ready to go to work.! | |
| audio/081.wav|Oh, yeah! Let's do this! Hands, time to get slappy. | |
| audio/082.wav|And I was just gonna use my hands to make a Logan face sandwich! | |
| audio/083.wav|Yeah, Dad. Don't. Let them go. | |
| audio/084.wav|I'm just glad this nightmare on Logan Street is over. | |
| audio/085.wav|Thought you were gonna keep taking that doofus's side, then I saw you out there, and damn it if you didn't make me proud. | |
| audio/086.wav|I quit! | |
| audio/087.wav|Damn it, I thought the glass would break. Anyway, I quit. | |
| audio/088.wav|I know it doesn't because we've never done it before! | |
| audio/089.wav|Sounds super, super great! Can't wait, dad! | |
| audio/090.wav|How'd you get this number? | |
| audio/091.wav|Oh, I'll see you soon, Gene. But you won't see me. If Dad won't fire Logan, oh, I'm gonna make Logan wish Dad would've never hired him. | |
| audio/092.wav|Just spitballing here. | |
| audio/093.wav|Employee of the mouth! | |
| audio/094.wav|Oh no! Better stop and stretch it out! | |
| audio/095.wav|I know. It feels right! | |
| audio/096.wav|Say good-bye to your crappy crop. | |
| audio/097.wav|Is it the one with the paper plate sign that says Bob's beauties? | |
| audio/098.wav|You didn't have to hire Logan either! | |
| audio/099.wav|What? These. These are your babies? | |
| audio/100.wav|Yeah. | |
| audio/102.wav|Yeah, I noticed how the greater good meant doing the thing you like to do. | |
| audio/103.wav|What? Really? | |
| audio/104.wav|I can't. It's not their fault. | |
| audio/105.wav|So I'm gonna cut you. | |
| audio/106.wav|Just kidding. | |
| audio/107.wav|Yeah, I'm pretty open about that, Dad. Plus, I mean, the restaurant is our place, and I like it that way. | |
| audio/108.wav|Thank you. | |
| audio/109.wav|Under one condition. | |
| audio/110.wav|You're fired! | |
| audio/111.wav|Logan, if you need a recommendation, here's one, put a bag on your face. | |
| audio/112.wav|Okay, hon, I'm gonna have security walk you out. | |
| audio/113.wav|Bad enough I'm being forced to go to their concert. It's like I'm going to the electric chair and you're making me watch videos of the electric chair! | |
| audio/114.wav|Why would you waste a scream on a stupid boy band? Screams are for roller coasters, or axe murderers, or dad's morning breath. | |
| audio/115.wav|Maybe Aunt Gayle realized that she's a forty-two-year-old woman and she shouldn't be into boy bands? | |
| audio/116.wav|Emergency? | |
| audio/117.wav|Give me the bad news. Give me the bad news! | |
| audio/118.wav|Yeah! This is the best thing Aunt Gayle's done since she pooped her pants at the cell phone store last year! | |
| audio/119.wav|So, now that we're not going to the concert, what should we do first? | |
| audio/120.wav|Alright, I'll give it a shot. | |
| audio/121.wav|I hate this. Come on, Tina, cheer up. It's four lame boys who dance. There's so much more out there in the world. | |
| audio/122.wav|It's no fun having you down if I'm not the one who got you there. | |
| audio/123.wav|Fine. I'm not a monster, I'll help you. | |
| audio/124.wav|I mean I'll get you to the concert. I'll get you there. | |
| audio/125.wav|Not if we keep chitchatting like this. Oh, here's the freeway. Once we merge, get in the fast lane, okay? And we'll get there in no time. | |
| audio/128.wav|Hey, I've got gas money. You got room for two more in that buggy? | |
| audio/130.wav|Maybe his mustache is seventeen, but he's ninety. | |
| audio/131.wav|Stop talking! | |
| audio/132.wav|No wonder no one likes women. | |
| audio/133.wav|All right, see you after the show. Be careful. There's a lot of puberty in there. | |
| audio/134.wav|Whoa! No fainting! | |
| audio/135.wav|Fine. I'll get you to your seat so you don't get trampled, but then I am out of there. | |
| audio/136.wav|Wish kid, fatal strep throat, coming through. | |
| audio/137.wav|We're ready to go, Zeke. | |
| audio/138.wav|Tour bus? | |
| audio/139.wav|Oh no, Tina. I don't want Boo Boo's signature. I told you, I want to slap him. | |
| audio/140.wav|That's why it has to be a surprise attack. We need to find some place to burst out of. | |
| audio/141.wav|Uh, great idea, but just in case we aren't six inches tall, how about in... there? | |
| audio/142.wav|Ah, smells horrible in here. | |
| audio/143.wav|I'll slap Boo Boo in the face and we'll be on our way. Crush crushed. | |
| audio/144.wav|Slapabama, here we come. | |
| audio/145.wav|Should we jump out now? What's the protocol in this situation? | |
| audio/147.wav|Worth it. | |
| audio/148.wav|Tina, if that's what your life is like, God, how are you even alive? | |
| audio/149.wav|You have a crush on almost every boy you know. How do you do it? Feeling that way for three hours was way too much for me. | |
| audio/150.wav|Well, the good news is, that now that I got it out of my system, I'm done having crushes forever. | |
| audio/151.wav|You're a strong woman, Tina. | |
| audio/152.wav|Pretty dull. | |
| audio/153.wav|Disgusting. I hate you so freaking much, you idiot. Slap. | |
| audio/154.wav|Did you really have to wear that tie? | |
| audio/155.wav|Take that. And that! | |
| audio/156.wav|It's this thing we do with Dad. | |
| audio/157.wav|How about a rain check on that? | |
| audio/158.wav|We're kind of in the middle of something here. | |
| audio/159.wav|Okay, let's take five everybody. | |
| audio/160.wav|Mom, it's over. You ruined it, okay? You mommed it all up. | |
| audio/161.wav|Yeah, but that's a good thing. | |
| audio/162.wav|Well, that's 'cause you suck at it! | |
| audio/163.wav|Oh, fine. Best money, I | |
| audio/164.wav|You can't ruin anything in there! | |
| audio/165.wav|Huh? What? What's going on? | |
| audio/166.wav|Oh no. | |
| audio/167.wav|Not that bo- | |
| audio/168.wav|This is a twin. | |
| audio/169.wav|Please stop, please stop. Plea | |
| audio/170.wav|Who did this? | |
| audio/171.wav|Oh, you did! | |
| audio/172.wav|Oh, what a surprise. Well, you left it in my room. | |
| audio/173.wav|Oh, well, isn't that... Whoops. | |
| audio/174.wav|No one! I'm gonna grow them out all long and scraggily. | |
| audio/175.wav|I want to look like a torso on two tumbleweeds! | |
| audio/176.wav|And I'm gonna learn about sex from television, so I don't need that from you, either! | |
| audio/177.wav|We need to talk. Look, I think we should spend some time apart. | |
| audio/178.wav|I'm just not really looking for something serious right now. | |
| audio/179.wav|It's gonna be a little awkward. You got some of your stuff in my place. | |
| audio/180.wav|I've been kidnapped! | |
| audio/181.wav|No, no, no, no, no! | |
| audio/182.wav|Eight hours?! | |
| audio/184.wav|Interesting. A thousand. | |
| audio/185.wav|Twenty-nine-fifty. | |
| audio/186.wav|This is gonna be the hardest money I've ever earned. | |
| audio/187.wav|Oh dear. | |
| audio/188.wav|Ha-ha, Logan. | |
| audio/189.wav|Question, what's the uter-room? | |
| audio/190.wav|That's not how umbilical cords work. | |
| audio/192.wav|Someone's dilating. | |
| audio/193.wav|No, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh God. | |
| audio/194.wav|No! | |
| audio/195.wav|Role play's gonna cost you big. | |
| audio/196.wav|I'm doing you. That's why I'm singing. You're doing me, so you don't sing. | |
| audio/197.wav|I blew it? You gave me nothing out there! | |
| audio/198.wav|No, not at all. | |
| audio/199.wav|Well, maybe this will help clear things up. Here's your seminar. See it? It's so cute and nice in my hand. And. | |
| audio/200.wav|You pull yourself together. We got to get out of here. | |
| audio/201.wav|Logan, come on! We got to think! | |
| audio/202.wav|Oh, I swear to God, if you keep talking, I'm gonna gut-punch you! | |
| audio/203.wav|Wait a minute. That's it! | |
| audio/204.wav|That umbilical soup got me, mom. Got me real bad. Rub my tummy? | |
| audio/205.wav|You fell for the oldest trick in the book! | |
| audio/206.wav|The old belly bluff. | |
| audio/207.wav|Now, if you'll excuse us, us girls. | |
| audio/208.wav|Sorry, ladies. | |
| audio/209.wav|Are going to play laser tag. | |
| audio/210.wav|Well, agree to disagree. | |
| audio/211.wav|What the hell? How'd you get out? | |
| audio/212.wav|Oh, no frigging way! | |
| audio/213.wav|So, welcome to the war. | |
| audio/214.wav|Why don't you let your gun do the talking, blabbermouth! | |
| audio/215.wav|I gave you that one! | |
| audio/216.wav|That's for kidnapping me! | |
| audio/217.wav|And that's for taking me to the momgina monologues! | |
| audio/218.wav|I am. Any last words? | |
| audio/219.wav|Is this all 'cause you think I don't like you? | |
| audio/220.wav|Mom, I guess I've been kind of a B word today. | |
| audio/221.wav|Nice! | |
| audio/222.wav|Whoa, Mom, amazing! | |
| audio/223.wav|Better before. | |
| audio/224.wav|Yeah! We're bonding here! | |
| audio/225.wav|You should have seen the way mom took down Dakota. | |
| audio/226.wav|My ass, too! Up high! | |
| audio/227.wav|Aw man! Your taste sounds better! | |
| audio/228.wav|I want to go shave my legs with that and then regret it. | |
| audio/229.wav|Ah, Mom. Come here. | |
| audio/230.wav|And you wonder why I'm the only one who will go shopping with you. Dad, look! Wait, don't look now! Okay, now look! | |
| audio/231.wav|There. | |
| audio/232.wav|That's not an old Asian man. | |
| audio/233.wav|It's Hawk! | |
| audio/234.wav|Hawk! From Hawk and Chick! | |
| audio/235.wav|I know, we could sit. | |
| audio/236.wav|How old was he in his last movie? | |
| audio/237.wav|Yeah. | |
| audio/238.wav|And how old is that guy? A hundred? | |
| audio/239.wav|Well, you're eighty, so he's gotta be at least ninety. | |
| audio/240.wav|What's he doing in our dumb town anyway? | |
| audio/241.wav|He's leaving the market. Should I shout his name? | |
| audio/242.wav|We kind of already are. | |
| audio/243.wav|Move, move! | |
| audio/244.wav|No! He's getting on a bus! | |
| audio/245.wav|What are you gonna say? Say it to me like you're gonna say it to him. | |
| audio/247.wav|Ugh, bad. | |
| audio/248.wav|Fourth floor. | |
| audio/249.wav|Stairs. Let's go. | |
| audio/250.wav|Um, get him to sign your jicama? | |
| audio/251.wav|Yeah, very much. | |
| audio/252.wav|My little heart is beating so | |
| audio/253.wav|Sorry, you're kind of a big deal for us. | |
| audio/254.wav|Did you get lost? Lots of people are here because they got lost. | |
| audio/255.wav|No, no, no! It's not good! | |
| audio/256.wav|It's not good enough for Koji, Dad! | |
| audio/257.wav|Oh, not good. | |
| audio/258.wav|Um, it's just an object that comes to life every hundred years. | |
| audio/259.wav|But trouble always finds them. And then they kick trouble's ass! Am I right? Looking at you, Koji! | |
| audio/260.wav|I know, and he must be excited 'cause he's watching it with us! Or not. He's crying. | |
| audio/261.wav|Hawk and Chick haven't spoken in thirty years?! What the hell? | |
| audio/262.wav|Whoa! I've got a great idea you're all gonna hate. Family conference? | |
| audio/263.wav|Maybe all we need to do is get Yuki to see her dad as Hawk again. Up on the big screen! | |
| audio/264.wav|Guys, this is the part you're gonna hate. We got to put on a Hawk and Chick film festival and convince them both to go. Reunion! Boom! You hate it, you hate it. | |
| audio/265.wav|Yup. So we're good here? | |
| audio/266.wav|Point is they're gonna reunite in front of all their fans! Father and daughter together again... What-what are you doing? | |
| audio/267.wav|Oh, I like the sound of this. | |
| audio/268.wav|Yes! Thanks, Dominic. You're all right! | |
| audio/269.wav|Oh, we don't have one of those. | |
| audio/270.wav|Now all we need is a movie. | |
| audio/272.wav|It's so gross to see her behind a desk. She should be slicing up the snow monster or the six-headed sumo! God! Idiot! | |
| audio/273.wav|Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Alright, let's go get Yuki to say yes to the fest! | |
| audio/275_01.wav|Okay, okay, we're giving you a chance to feel like a movie star again. | |
| audio/275_02.wav|You can see yourself up on the big screen instead of staring at that number screen on your desk there. | |
| audio/276.wav|No, you're not. | |
| audio/277.wav|You're depressed. | |
| audio/278.wav|You didn't let me finish. ...Ing me. Depressing me! | |
| audio/279.wav|I mean, who makes fourteen amazing movies with their dad, and then just walks away one day?! Who does that, Yuki?! | |
| audio/280.wav|Wrong! Wrong! Working with your dad is fun! I mean working with your dad was fun. Because he was a samurai and you killed monsters! | |
| audio/281.wav|What? No way! We need to get her butt into that theater so she can apologize to Koji! | |
| audio/282.wav|So we're in agreement. We're not gonna tell her that her dad's here. | |
| audio/283.wav|We're gonna trick her! | |
| audio/284.wav|Here she comes. | |
| audio/285.wav|So, about that film festival, can we put you down as a yes? | |
| audio/286.wav|Yuki, come on, Yuke. Just say yes. Imagine a packed theater of your adoring fans all there for you! Just you, no Hawk. It'll be Chick's night. | |
| audio/287.wav|Well, you do it, Dad. | |
| audio/289_01.wav|This is gonna work, people. Yuki's gonna see Hawk and Chick up on the big screen. | |
| audio/289_02.wav|Get all weepy like Koji did, and realize how crazy she's been, and we're gonna be heroes, and we're gonna be invited to the premiere of their next movie in Japan! | |
| audio/290.wav|I friggin' love this guy! Dominic! Haha! Come here! Which one is it? | |
| audio/291.wav|Well, so, can't you just whip up some English subtitles? | |
| audio/292.wav|Let's dub, people! | |
| audio/293.wav|There's always a lot of lantern talk. You get into it. | |
| audio/294.wav|I know! First Yuki's got to watch the movie, feel bad and wanna repair their relationship! | |
| audio/295.wav|Flawless! | |
| audio/296.wav|Ugh. Forget Kevin. Inside, now, let's go! | |
| audio/297.wav|We got to move! Let's move! | |
| audio/298.wav|Kevin, get away! | |
| audio/299.wav|Watch out for the- | |
| audio/300.wav|And keep the jacket on your head till the movie starts. It's very cold in here. | |
| audio/301.wav|Oh, God, she's leaving! Yuki's leaving! | |
| audio/302.wav|Damn it, Yuki, you're killing me! What do we do? What do we do? | |
| audio/303.wav|Eh, it went about exactly the way I thought it would. | |