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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371916 | [S1] And colorful people, colorful characters, um, they would come into the equation there for endorsing your product. [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, if you get, um, an athlete or a footballer, for instance, people like that, you celebrities, 'cause you've got a load of friends that are celebrities and call, call people. Having them on board- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... selling your product- [S2] [LAUGHS] | 23.04 | 2.89171 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371916.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371917 | [S1] We, we all suffer with a little bit of mental health, don't we? [S2] I think everybody does. [S1] We, exactly. I don't think there's one person on this planet that hasn't really got some kind of mental health issue. Whether you're looking at your phone to see what somebody said about you, and you're having to play or an athlete, you probably haven't run very quick or as quick or you haven't passed the ball and there's always someone waiting to hammer you. So, an absolutely vital piece of kit. And you are the only person in this country that's selling it, kid. Wow. Sky's the limit. [S2] It is, indeed. | 29.44 | 2.869644 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371917.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371919 | [S1] Talk to me about yoga. How did you get into, to it for a start? And, and what is it? And I've, I've seen some amazing photographs on, on your Instagram and social media accounts where you're balancing in a position that you've got no right to balance. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] You must be so strong. [S2] Um, yeah, strong minded, strong body. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Um, so I was recommended to do yoga by a friend. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And I gave it a go and realized that for that whole hour, I'd actually managed to shut down my mind, which is something I've never been able to do. [S1] But do you? | 29.44 | 3.02944 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371919.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371924 | [S1] [LAUGHS] [S2] Well, you've achieved so much and I'm sure that you will be able to achieve a baby as well. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Which, given everything that you've done in your life, puts things back into reality, that the greatest gift is life, isn't it? [S1] Yeah, of course. [S2] And Jenny, can I thank you so much for your time, young lady. It's been an absolute pleasure. [S1] Thank you for your time. | 23.08 | 2.978946 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1J44y1673S_BV1J44y1673S_m4-dialogue_0371924.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792515 | [S1] I think so too. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Have you seen, I mean, there's so many movies where I would, like, look and be, like, flicking off the camera. I'd be like, "Did they edit that part out?" [S2] I think they did. [S1] I never watched my own porn, so I don't know. [S2] Yeah, I don't remember that, those parts. No, I remember, uh, I must have been, do you remember when you started? [S1] Yeah, I was 18. [S2] 18, so what, in your- [S1] 2001, too. [S2] Okay, so, yeah, so in 2001, too, I was- [S1] That was, like, when porn was amazing. Like, right off the 90s, still underground. [S2] People | 26.48 | 2.847312 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792515.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792516 | [S1] People still paid for it or what was amazing about it? [S2] Huge budgets. [S1] Got it. So, yeah, just prime profit. [S2] Lots of money. Yeah. [S1] Yeah, when I, so you were 18 and you're, you're 36 now? [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Oh, 36, so I was 12. [S2] Oh, my God. [S1] 13 years old. [S2] You're that much younger than me? [S1] I'm 30. [S2] I was six years less on the- [S1] So it's not that bad, but, but at that age- [S2] You don't realize how old you are until people start saying, "Oh, my God, you're the first person I jacked off to," and I'm just like- | 28.24 | 3.068125 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792516.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792517 | [S1] You, I don't, you definitely weren't the first, but you were- [S2] Thank God. [S1] ... amongst the first, probably. I remember watching an interview of you talking about the first time you did a porn scene- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... and that you cried afterwards. [S2] Mm-hmm. No, I cried during. [S1] You cried during? [S2] I cried during. That was my first boy-girl scene. I started off with just nude modeling. [S1] Okay. [S2] Which brings back all types of memories because I got into porn 'cause I had escaped my life. [S1] Your life in- [S2] That's, that's why I had to get- [S1] And you're from Florida. [S2] ... like my real life. | 29.8 | 3.006686 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792517.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792518 | [S1] Well, my family moved from Florida to California. Most of my family moved from Florida to California. My immediate family, parents- [S2] Your parents, brothers, sisters. [S1] And one of my brother. [S2] One of your brothers. [S1] My other brother stayed in Florida in college. And it actually goes back farther than that. Like, I came out here when I was young, when I was early teens, to do modeling. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And a big agency wanted to sign me. And then I had one of those Harvey Weinstein experiences | 28.8 | 2.832252 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792518.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792519 | [S1] Before, like, he got the hint that I was not gonna do anything. I'll just sit there in the corner. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I'm 15 years old, like, what the fuck are you thinking? [S2] Yeah. [S1] And, um, they didn't sign me. [S2] Right. You don't- [S1] Pretty much blackballed me. [S2] You're not gonna have sex with this old guy? This old agent? [S1] Yeah. | 18 | 3.162269 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792519.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792520 | [S1] He actually wasn't old. [S2] Oh, okay. [S1] And he was actually very good looking. [S2] Oh. [S1] And I was just like so fl- [S2] Still creeped up. [S1] I was just so flabbergasted, like, "What?" Like- [S2] Yeah. [S1] I just couldn't even imagine it. Like, I, I was just so confused. I think that's partly what it was, and two, I wasn't having sex yet. [S2] You were virgin. [S1] Yeah, so- [S2] Yeah. [S1] And it wasn't like, and my dad had, like, stacks of, like, penthouse magazines and that kind of stuff that I used to look at with, like, guy friends, like platonic friends. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But I was, like, super awkward. I didn't get pretty till much later. | 29.8 | 3.16743 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792520.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792521 | [S1] And you were looking at that more out of fun and curiosity, not like- [S2] No, I was looking at it more of like trying to be cool with the guys. [S1] Yeah, yeah. [S2] Not really for myself at all. [S1] Yeah, not in a sexual way. [S2] No, not at all. Um, so then I went back to Florida 'cause I was staying out here with like family members, and then my parents were like, "Oh, we're gonna move to California." And I was like, "Fuck no." [S1] 'Cause in your head you equated California with that guy who- [S2] With that. [S1] Yeah. [S2] Yeah, and I'm | 23.44 | 2.958533 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792521.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792522 | [S1] ... with that. [S2] With that. [S1] ... guy who, yeah. [S2] Yeah, and I'm like, "What the fuck am I gonna do in California if this is what it's like?" And then, um, like fast forward and I just didn't wanna go to college and my parents were like, "Get a job or go to college. That's your option." [S1] So- [S2] And so I was like flipping through the newspaper and there's this little small ad that was like, "Nude modeling, make $3,000 in an hour." And I was like, "Done." [S1] But that nude modeling turned out to be porn or- [S2] No, it was actually nude modeling. [S1] It was nude modeling. | 28.84 | 2.907044 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792522.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792523 | [S1] And that's how it started. And then it just progressed. [S2] But you're modeling for $3,000 an hour? [S1] No. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Of course not. [S2] I was like- [S1] But this guy at the time, world modeling, he was like one of the biggest agencies, if not the biggest agency. And he was so kind. And I should have never left him. And it was this creepy old building like on Van Nuys Boulevard with these three men, like the epitome of like white trash, like what I came from. It just felt so like home-like. [S2] So why did you end up leaving it? | 25.48 | 2.967313 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792523.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792524 | [S1] I ended up leaving him because he only did specific type of stuff, like nude modeling and like girl, girl stuff. And when I decided to go more hardcore, I had to get a different agent. [S2] Got it. You had to graduate. [S1] And then I got a real agent of Harvey Weinstein. [S2] Well, are you allowed to say who that is? [S1] No. [S2] No, okay. But he was just also a creep. [S1] I don't even know, am I even allowed to use Harvey's name? Because- [S2] Uh, I'm- [S1] You get the idea of what I'm saying when I use the name. I'm not talking about him specifically. [S2] There's a lot going on. [S1] I'm just talking about how he is. [S2] Harvey Weinstein, I believe, is in jail now, right? So I think you're allowed to- [S1] I don't know if he's in jail. | 29.56 | 3.162757 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792524.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792525 | [S1] I think he's going through the cases, right? [S2] He's going through it. [S1] I use him as like a, um, analogy. You know what I mean? Like, okay. [S2] Yeah, yeah. I'm perfectly, perfectly comfortable saying Harvey Weinstein's a bad guy and a racist. [S1] Well, I, I don't think anybody's good or bad, but yes. [S2] You don't think anyone's bad? [S1] I don't think people are good or bad. I think they do bad behaviors, but I don't think, like, soulfully they're a bad person. [S2] Yeah, he might- [S1] I don't want to make that judgment. | 25.32 | 3.100257 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792525.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792526 | [S1] Right. That's not, we're not God, you're saying. [S2] Correct. [S1] I think that- [S2] I think he did some awful things. [S1] He did some awful things and I wouldn't want my daughter or girlfriend or friend around him. But, yeah, maybe- [S2] Unless they're like strong enough to deal with it. [S1] Can he, uh, maybe, maybe he had some real sexual issues and maybe he could get help and turn a new leaf and not be a bad person anymore. Maybe. Yeah, maybe he could do that. [S2] Of course. Of course. There's redemption for anybody. [S1] Is he a bad | 29.56 | 3.288025 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792526.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792527 | [S1] Is he a bad guy for life? Maybe not. [S2] No. [S1] But- [S2] He's not a bad guy, period. He's just done bad things. [S1] But I don't trust him. [S2] No, I don't trust anybody. [S1] [LAUGHS] No one? What about your kids? [S2] I mean, I trust my children. [S1] Yeah. [S2] To a degree. They like to sneak candy. [LAUGHS] [S1] What about your parents? [S2] Uh, I mean, trust them in- [S1] Parent issues? [S2] Uh, parent issues in what sense? Like, um, I don't wanna be- [S1] How'd they feel about- [S2] I don't wanna be too critical on my parents. [S1] How'd they feel about it when you told them that you were gonna do nude modeling? [S2] I actually didn't tell them. | 29.08 | 3.054382 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792527.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792528 | [S1] My research and because I like to do research on companies, like before I took the job because, well, for whatever reason, right? And, um, never said anything to me. And then I guess, like, my first magazine cover that I was in, she slid underneath my bedroom door. 'Cause it all progressed very quickly, right? So, like, I turned- [S2] You were still living with them at the time. [S1] I was still living with them. [S2] Okay. [S1] So, it was, like, maybe six months into my career, the magazine slid under my door, and then I moved out. [S2] Was- [S1] And that was that. | 26.36 | 3.347319 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792528.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792530 | [S1] I don't know. [S2] No. [S1] 'Cause you don't look Jewish. [S2] That's what everybody says, but- [S1] You got lucky. [S2] ... you get a religion beard look? [S1] Yeah. I look very Jewish. People look at me and they go, "You're Jewish." [S2] Wow. [S1] All the t- everyday of my life. [S2] Maybe because I'm tattooed. And I did- [S1] Maybe, but you also have blonde hair. You- [S2] Polish-Romanian. [S1] Polish- [S2] You know, it's funny, in my mother and my oldest brother, they're dark hair, dark eyes. [S1] Blond- [S2] And my younger brother is blonde hair, blue eyes like me. Well, I have green eyes, I think. | 26.68 | 3.05078 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792530.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792531 | [S1] But you were an adult. Did, are you guys cool now? Do you see each other on holidays? [S2] No, we're, we see each other- [S1] And say, "I love you," and I'm proud of you. [S2] Um, yes. No. [S1] 'Cause- [S2] Well, if that's surface level, or if that's, that's my own battle that I battle still to this day. [S1] All I'm saying is- [S2] 'Cause, | 20.08 | 3.306396 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792531.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792532 | [S1] saying is- [S2] 'Cause like, I mean, I think she sees strength in me because of the, but she doesn't know half of what I've been through. She couldn't handle it. It's taken me so long. I've stayed away from this kind of stuff, like my whole career. [S1] Mm-hmm. And by the way- [S2] My career could have been much huger had I taken a lot of PR jobs. [S1] Uh-huh. [S2] And I chose not to out of respect for my parents. [S1] I was gonna say, by the way, I'm not out, I'm not one of those interviewers that's trying to get you to say something you'll regret. So if you do say something- [S2] Yeah, I don't think you should regret anything. | 28.92 | 2.987094 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792532.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792533 | [S1] You, well, what I'm saying is if you say something and you- [S2] And I'm like, "Take that the fuck out." [S1] ... "Take that," I'll take it out. So don't, don't feel- [S2] I wouldn't do that anyway. [S1] I'm not, I'm not here to try and get you to say something. [S2] No, I wouldn't do that anyway. [S1] Yeah. But if you do. [S2] Okay, thank you. [S1] So, yeah, be comfortable. [S2] That was kind. [S1] Yeah. [S2] I'm super comfortable. [S1] Yeah. [S2] I've been down this path for many years. [S1] Be comfortable. Be comfortable. | 18.04 | 2.840875 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792533.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792534 | [S1] ... for many years. [S2] Be as comfortable, be as comfortable as you can be in a closed off curtained room. [S1] Right. [S2] And I locked you in. [S1] Right. [S2] Yeah. It was kind of bringing you, throwback to the 15 year old model. [S1] No, I'm, I'm not traumatized at all. [S2] Well, you were tra- Oh, I wanna, so I wanna hear about- [S1] The first sex scene that I cried? [S2] Yeah, the first sex scene that you cried. [S1] Um, I don't think I cried. If I could go back to that young child, I was probably 19 or 20 at the time, I think I was crying | 27.08 | 2.954219 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792534.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792535 | [S1] It's really funny. I mean, when I think about it, and I just think of like, first of all, when you shoot porn back then, there's gotta be at least 100 people there. It's not- [S2] Literally? [S1] I mean, yeah. It's not like three of us. [S2] No, so was this- [S1] So you've got the male talent, you've got me, and the male talent, I believe, was Evan Stone, but I don't know for sure. This is how much I black people out. [S2] Yeah. Long time ago. [S1] Long time ago. [S2] Half your lifetime ago. | 24.12 | 3.126668 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792535.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792536 | [S1] Yeah, and, you know, you shoot so many fucking movies that it's just like, I don't know, you just don't even think about it. Like, if I see pictures, then stuff will come back to me, but, um, so then you've got four or five cameramen, then you've got assistant cameramen, then you've got mics, people holding mics, then you've got assistants, then you've got makeup, then you've got- [S2] Now, was it like this for all the scenes or just the major ones? Like, what about- [S1] I would say the- [S2] ... a naughty America or an internet type of- [S1] I would say the- | 27.48 | 3.301783 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792536.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792537 | [S1] I would say the majority until the internet happened. [S2] Got it. [S1] 'Cause this is film still. [S2] This is pre-internet, your first few scenes. [S1] Yeah, pre-internet. [S2] Okay. [S1] First few scenes, first couple hundred, I would say. [S2] First couple hundred, okay. [S1] 'Cause when did the internet happen? Like 2007, maybe they switched from film? 2006? [S2] I'm not sure. [S1] I don't know either. [S2] Yeah. So this is the first scene, there's a hundred, a lot of people on set. [S1] I would say- [S2] A whole crew. [S1] I would say a good 40 people in the room. [S2] Yeah, right. [S1] And you're in a master bedroom of a beautiful home. A lot was shot in Chatsworth. Obviously, we know that. [S2] Uh-huh. | 29.32 | 2.999057 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792537.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792538 | [S1] ... that. [S2] Uh-huh. Still is, right? Or no? [S1] I don't know. I have no idea. I'm so not affiliated with it, I don't know how any of it goes. Um, and we got through oral sex, we got to, like, I think we were in Doggie, and I just started crying, like, silent tears. And it wasn't, like, boo-hoo tears. It was just, like, silent tears were just streaming down my face. Well, that's illegal, right? You can't be crying on film while having sex. [S2] It's not a good look. [S1] There's a liability for that. [S2] It's not- [S1] They could be sued for that. [S2] It's not a- | 28.76 | 3.015734 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792538.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792539 | [S1] Dude for that. [S2] It's not a big turn on to most people. [S1] I mean, unless you like rape videos, I don't know. [S2] Right, so some people, but most people would probably not know that. [S1] Right, but... | 7 | 2.834443 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792539.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792540 | [S1] ... Right. [S2] But this was a huge company, so, um, I just remember the director was like, "Um, I think you need to go to the bathroom and, like, pull yourself together." And I think I got up and went to the bathroom, and obviously I came back and finished the scene. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And I don't, I think I was crying because at this point I knew that I had made, um, the commitment that this is the path that I was going. [S1] You knew this was the next shot to your life and you're like, "Okay, I'm really doing it." | 29.4 | 3.326843 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792540.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792541 | [S1] And I'm not turning back. [S2] So on set, you're crying. Like you said, you're not sobbing. [S1] No, I'm just crying silent tears. [S2] But, but you're crying silent tears. People still probably notice. There's 40 people in the room. [S1] Of course. There's a million. And they can see it on camera. [S2] The director says, "Go, go the bathroom." [S1] Just pull yourself together. [S2] Pull yourself together. Was he nice about it? Or was he like, "Hey, are you okay?" Was the tal- was the male talent- [S1] I have no idea. [S2] Was anyone comforting? Do you remember anyone saying, "Hey, this is t- [S1] I have no idea. I'm sure there probably was. At least makeup, I would imagine. [S2] Yeah. [S1] 'Cause that's usually, like, your confidant is, like, makeup. | 29.64 | 3.141362 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792541.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792542 | [S1] Makeup girl. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Or guy, I guess. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Mostly girls, I imagine. [S2] Because girls are very catty and like other girls, you know, I kind of cat to myself. I, I had, I got a very strong reputation of being a bitch because I was always very silent on set. I never really talked to anybody. I did my work and I left. [S1] You didn't appear as though you were enjoying yourself, maybe. | 19.24 | 3.133747 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792542.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792544 | [S1] And anything like, like my agent was a piece of shit, right? He was the best agent in the business 'cause he, you could make millions of dollars, which I did with him, but he was also a piece of shit. So, um, he would blackball you for any kind of little thing, like just all of a sudden for a whole month you wouldn't work if you didn't say yes to certain things. Well, that's your- [S2] God, and he did- [S1] Oh, all the time. [S2] ... that. So he, he would punish- [S1] All the time. [S2] ... punish his clients. | 22.36 | 3.097789 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792544.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792546 | [S1] So I would start to like panic and be like, "I'm not shooting anal." [S2] Yeah. [S1] You've got this whole production. [S2] I'm not doing that. [S1] Thousands of dollars. [S2] Yeah. [S1] If not however much money for the day to do this. Now I'm costing everybody money. Now I feel like I'm doing something wrong. So sh- and I would call up my agent and be like, "Hey, I'm booked for an anal- anal scene." Like- [S2] I don't do that. [S1] I don't do anal. I've never even done anal. And he'd be like, "Just roll with the punches." Like what? [S2] No, you gotta talk to me about that. [S1] Like, what do you mean, roll with the punches? [S2] I imagine- [S1] What does that even mean, roll with the punches? | 28.12 | 3.060867 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792546.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792547 | [S1] That's crazy. I imagine that kind of stuff happens less often now. You think? [S2] I have no idea. [S1] Oh, you have no idea. Yeah, you're retired. [S2] I don't know. [S1] So, okay. [S2] So I just have to leave set. So my option is roll with the punches or walk off set. [S1] And so then all those people on set go, "Oh, she sucks." [S2] Yeah, of course. [S1] She just ruined our day. She ruined our shoot. [S2] Of course. She cost me thousands of dollars. [S1] They don't realize, "Oh, this is a human." She doesn't want to do that. [S2] Or how about you booked me for something that I don't even do. [S1] Yeah, she never agreed to do it. [S2] Exactly. [S1] Yeah. | 27.28 | 2.815435 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792547.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792548 | [S1] But he'll lie and say, "Oh, she agreed to do her first anal with you." [S2] Yeah. [S1] Even though none of that was true. [S2] Just hoping you would get there and be like, "Okay." [S1] I don't know. I did all of my work sober, so there was a lot of girls that didn't do their work sober. [S2] Right. [S1] There was a lot of girls that did their work sober. I hadn't gotten into, like, drugs and alcohol yet until I was much older, so- [S2] Do you ever have an issue with it or nah? [S1] Yeah, well, I had a huge issue with it. When I had the most amount of money and the biggest house and the most cars and the most bags, that's when I had my biggest issue. [S2] What drug? What was your drug? [S1] I would say pills, probably. | 29.64 | 2.847049 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792548.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792549 | [S1] Just popping pills all day. And so was this during porn or after? [S2] Um, I would say when it w- it was when I knew I was gonna leave. [S1] And what was the f- was there a point where you were enjoyed doing porn or no? [S2] Um. [S1] Was it always just a job for you? Like this is- [S2] No, I think there were times- [S1] ... to make money. | 19.84 | 3.20936 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792549.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792550 | [S1] Well, I mean, like I was doing porn. [S2] Yeah, yeah. [S1] But no, he was not a part of that business. [S2] Yeah. [S1] There were a lot that would come into the business to make millions of dollars and leave. Go buy houses, invest in real estate, do whatever they did. [S2] Just an easy cash grab. [S1] Mm-hmm. 'Cause back in the day, there was so much money. [S2] So you're doing it, you're liking it. How did you meet your husband? [S1] I met him through mutual friends. [S2] So just- [S1] Totally. [S2] ... through mutual friends, random. [S1] My, my, one of my gigs got canceled and they were like, "Let's go out on the lake." And I was like, "Okay." I never go and hang out with you guys. | 28.56 | 2.999176 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792550.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792551 | [S1] So you liked each other. Now how, now it's still kind of- [S2] No, liked each other. I saw him from a distance and I was like, "Ooh, I'm gonna marry that guy." [S1] [LAUGHS] And you did. [S2] And I did six months later. [S1] For 12 years. [S2] For 12 years. [S1] So it was pretty- [S2] Still technically married. [S1] ... successful marriage for, compared to a lot of them. [S2] I mean, it is. [S1] Whereas in most marriages end in divorce. Pretty sad. [S2] Mine's ending in divorce. [LAUGHS] [S1] Yeah, but most do. It's pretty sad. | 20.56 | 2.870161 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792551.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792552 | [S1] I don't know. [S2] But how, this still kind of blows my mind. I, it's a pretty common question. [S1] What? [S2] But how do you, what kind of guy or how does it work where he's just comfortable with you? Like, "All right, I'm going to set." Did he, was there ever any issues with that? 'Cause he obviously knew what he was getting into when he started dating you. [S1] Um, I | 20.68 | 3.264008 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792552.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792553 | [S1] Um, I found out later that he knew who I was. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Like he knew my work. I didn't know that at the time. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] When I met him and even when I got married to him. I did not know that. [S2] Oh, he didn't tell you till way later that he knew you. [S1] No, I mean, maybe not way later. We got married in six months. [S2] Well, after. Okay, got it. [S1] Right? So at some point he told me. [S2] Uh-huh. [S1] I also found out that he had slept with multiple girls from the industry. [S2] Okay. [S1] And then come to find out, he slept with pretty much all of LA, so... [LAUGHS] [S2] So he's a good-looking guy. [S1] He's a very good-looking guy. | 28.92 | 2.96469 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792553.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792554 | [S1] ... very beautiful children. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And he's very sexual. And the first time I, it's funny, the first time I ever had sex with him, he turned, like, when we're done in, in his house, like, before we had gotten married, he turns around and he's like, "You're really bad in bed. I don't know how you have a career." [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] That was his first thing to me. I was like, "Oh, okay. Really build my confidence, huh?" [LAUGHS] [S2] But you liked it. [LAUGHS] [S1] I guess I did. [S2] You liked the negative. [S1] I was in a very dark, | 27.2 | 3.098344 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792554.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792555 | [S1] I attracted a dark energy. Do you know what I mean? I found out later th- I found out later, recently, that I married my mother. [S2] Mm. [S1] I used to think women married their father, but that was a huge misconception. What I've learned is that women actually marry their mother, and I- [S2] All women? [S1] Not all women. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I mean, it's a statistic. Who knows, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Where do they get the polls? I don't know. [S2] Yeah. [S1] But that's why I got my psychology degree. I was trying to figure out, like, who the fuck am I? What is wrong with me? I went to therapy for all these years, then I went to college to get a psychology degree- [S2] And do you think that worked? | 27.24 | 3.275727 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792555.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792556 | [S1] ... degree. [S2] And do you think that worked, getting the psychology degree? [S1] I think it's all helped. [S2] Were you able to self-analyze yourself and figure out all your shit? [S1] Of course. All these questions I'd ask in all of my teachers, like all of my classes, oh my God, I'd ask so many questions. Like- [S2] So you, you got to the point where you were not enjoying the job anymore. [S1] Work. I don't think that it was an, I don't think that it was that I wasn't enjoying the job. I grew up very poor. Um, my mother grew up wealthy. She married outside of the religion. That's probably why I don't look Jewish. [S2] [LAUGHS] | 29.36 | 2.942516 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792556.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792557 | [S1] And, um, so her family kind of disowned her in the sense of he's not rel- um, he's not Jewish. That's a huge no-no. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And he's poor. Two big no-nos. So they kind of abandoned her. She had three kids, very young. 22 years old, she has three kids. They're married, right? They've been married almost 40 years now. So, um, where was I going with this? So I grew up very poor. So there was a lot of fighting in the house about money. | 29.32 | 3.136263 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792557.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792558 | [S1] And I think that's normal for most women to think that at one point in their life. Sure, I think every woman- [S2] I think I thought it for so many years that that's what led me into this path. [S1] Right. [S2] Now, if I said that to my mother, she would probably smack me across the face because she would take no accountability, right? [S1] Most, I think most people, especially as a child or young adult, they go, "I want to make money." | 20.12 | 2.947223 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792558.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792559 | [S1] Well, I don't know. It depends if you come from a, if you, if you, it depends on how you hear money, right? Money is an energy. So if you hear money in a negative connotation, like money only brings you happiness, that's not true. We know that. Now, is it nice to have money to pay your bills? Of course. It's a nice certification. [S2] Yeah, it's nice to be comfortable. [S1] Sure. And is it good to have a big desire? Of course. I'm not doubting that. But if you think that your happiness is only gonna come from material or money, that's a problem. [S2] No. Yeah, that's wrong. [S1] And that's where I was headed. So, | 29.48 | 3.191545 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792559.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792560 | [S1] ... and vacations and fly all my friends first class all around the world and I would just go to Japan for a month and go here for a month and do whatever the fuck I wanted. That's when I was on the most amount of drugs because here I am with all this money- [S2] Still not happy. [S1] ... all this stuff and now I'm the most unhappy I've ever been in my entire life. So what the fuck is the problem? Can you curse? [S2] Yeah. [S1] Okay. So what, I guess if you could talk about porn, you could probably curse, right? [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] So that was my, that was my first awakening. [S2] So what was the problem or what did you- | 29.32 | 3.063397 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792560.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792561 | [S1] I didn't know yet. That was my first awakening. That was like the first moment that I was like, okay, what is wrong? So I took like a couple thousand dollars worth of pills and dumped them down the toilet and just went cold turkey sober. [S2] Okay. [S1] And I mean, I probably took like 30 to 40 pills a day. [S2] Did anyone say to you, "Hey, you have a drug problem," or you just knew you were- [S1] No, everybody around me was on drugs. [S2] Right. So no one was telling you to get sober, really? There was no one in your life- [S1] I mean, I think- | 27.88 | 3.280137 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792561.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792564 | [S1] I don't know if I would say I had a drug problem, 'cause I don't believe in the word addict, but I knew that I was in complete darkness and I was trying to f- be connected to the light. And when you take drugs, you have that little spark of light. It's like that flash of light. And so I constantly wanted that flash of light 'cause I couldn't get that light naturally, 'cause my soul needed some kind of connection and I had none. That was the issue. But I didn't know that then. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Then, I just knew I'm miserable and I have all this stuff, and why am I unhappy? This is what I thought I needed. | 29.48 | 3.125026 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792564.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792567 | [S1] Um, I think he's, he has the capabilities of being a phenomenal father. [S2] Got it. [S1] It's a tricky thing when you say, "Is someone a good dad?" Because I used to always go around saying he's a phenomenal father, but then I slowly started being told that to be a phenomenal father, you also have to treat the mother with the utmost respect. That's part of being a phenomenal father. [S2] Got it. [S1] So I think it's a tricky line. Does he take really good care of the children when he's around them? Absolutely. [S2] That's good. | 25.88 | 3.293759 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792567.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792568 | [S1] who wants to have a baby. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like, uh, at 26 years old, I was 26 years old when I had her. That's very young. I got- [S2] Yeah. [S1] You know, so it's like, whoa, wrench in the plan. What the fuck? I think that was the first- [S2] Yeah. You're ruining the fun. | 14.12 | 3.26135 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792568.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792569 | [S1] That was the first thing that he did not sign up for. So I think that's where it, like, went left turn. Because now, you have a baby, you nurse the baby, now you're gonna go back to work, but I'm not going back to that old lifestyle. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I'm no longer doing drugs. I'm- [S2] Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh. [S1] I mean, obviously, I wasn't doing drugs when I got pregnant. [S2] Right. [S1] Let's clarify that. [S2] Yeah, yeah. [S1] I was sober before I got pregnant. I was in college, and I was on the path of finding God, really. My spirituality. Let's say that, instead of God. God's too big of a metaphysical to talk about. | 29.48 | 3.002018 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792569.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792570 | [S1] But it is God. You're Jewish. [S2] Sure. But we don't really talk about God, 'cause I don't, I don't go to temple. I study Kabbalah, so it's all spirituality. [S1] Now, I'm uneducated on this matter. What's, uh... [S2] Kabbalah is... [S1] What's the difference between Kabbalah and temple? [S2] Kabbalah is spirituality. [S1] Got it. So, Kabbalah... [S2] So, you still read from the Torah. [S1] ... is, like, hippie Jews? [S2] No, you don't have to be Jewish at all. A lot of people come that are not Jewish. It's not a Jewish thing at all. [S1] Oh. [S2] I would say it's what Judaism came from. [S1] Got it. Do you know what Kabbalah is? | 29.24 | 3.205336 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792570.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792571 | [S1] Look it up. [S2] [LAUGHS] [S1] It's phenomenal. I would say it saved my life. I would say getting pregnant with my baby saved my life, and then this saved my life. [S2] That's great. [S1] Oh, my God, it's huge. [S2] So- [S1] And now I'm raising them like that, 'cause I wouldn't want to raise them in temple, 'cause they're Jewish. [S2] When you went through this big 180 that your husband did not sign up for- [S1] Yes. So I started this path of growth- [S2] And this was six years into your marriage, halfway through your marriage, roughly? [S1] Well, I got married in '08, and I had, she was born in 2012. | 29.48 | 2.833598 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792571.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792572 | [S1] Okay, so four years into it. [S2] So four years into the marriage, you make this big change that he didn't sign up for. Was his initial reaction, no? Was his initial reaction, okay, I'll try and do this with you? [S1] No. [S2] I'll t- try and take it on? [S1] No, his initial reaction was the opposite direction. [S2] But you were able to... [S1] Stay for so many more years. [S2] Stay for so many... Yeah, stay for so many more years. [S1] Yeah. [S2] So how- [S1] I would say... [S2] How did you get past that big bump in your relationship? [S1] I, we never did. | 27 | 3.377104 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792572.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792573 | [S1] You never did. Okay. So it was, it was basically- [S2] I would say that I- [S1] ... a slow downhill from there. | 4.28 | 2.982834 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792573.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792574 | [S1] I think it was like an illusion in my own mind. Like, one, I have two parents, like, I believe that my parents should have got divorced many years ago, many, many, when we were children. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And I've had talks with my dad about why he stayed, which is not something I'm gonna talk about, but I came, you don't stay for the children, but a lot of people think you do stay for the children. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] In actuality, it creates so much trauma in the children, another reason why I went through therapy, right? [S2] Right. [S1] So, | 26.72 | 3.155408 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792574.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792575 | [S1] I was staying for the children, child at the time. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I think I also was in the illusion of believing your words but not watching your actions. So I thought that eventually he would wake up. And we're all on our own journey at our own time. And I know that he has such a potential and there's so much light in him and I can see that potential, but that's not who he is right now. [S2] Right. [S1] Or back then. [S2] So party was hoping, waiting for him to go. You're right, it's time to grow up and- [S1] Yes. [S2] ... be dad and- [S1] Let's evolve. | 29.52 | 2.868762 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792575.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792576 | [S1] Let's evolve. [S2] And, and be adults. Yeah. [S1] Yes. 'Cause I wanted to keep evolving, but the universe was like blocking my involvement because I had this dark cloud sitting over top of me. | 9.48 | 2.838035 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792576.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792578 | [S1] But I had to get out. [S2] So, as a adult, former adult star- [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] ... you have all these videos of you on the internet. How, does your oldest know about that? Uh, would you have a plan for that of, of telling your kids? [S1] I think she knows some stuff because we've had some issues with a school situation that, um, I'll tell you privately. [S2] Okay. [S1] I can't tell you on the air. [S2] Okay, no worries. [S1] Um, just out of respect for- [S2] No problem. [S1] ... just | 28.56 | 2.988651 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792578.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792579 | [S1] No problem. [S2] Just because, let me tell you why. Because people are such fucking shitty people and they're so judgmental and they want to be your friends and they want to know all about this juicy details because porn is so around us in LA. [S1] Yeah, everyone watches it. | 16.32 | 2.880964 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792579.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792580 | [S1] And it, even though it's so taboo, it's so mainstream now. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And so here they see some girl that's pretty, that's married, that's got a kid, that's going to this expensive school, and they wanna get to know her, and they wanna be friends with her. And then they wanna sabotage her, right? I mean, that's... But, um, no victim, and I'll take accountability for allowing them into our lives. Lawsuits, all types of shit, right? [S2] Yeah. [S1] I didn't do anything wrong. | 27.08 | 3.20574 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792580.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792581 | [S1] I guess. Or maybe it's just- [S2] People like concentration. [S1] Like, to me, I'm kind of like, because I've ignored you because I didn't go after you when I should have. Like, they broke, they, they broke so many laws and I have- | 11.64 | 2.873803 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792581.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792582 | [S1] One of the most powerful attorneys. And like, within two seconds, it was all shut down, right? [S2] That's good. [S1] That day, it was all shut down. [S2] That's good. [S1] And I don't know if it's 'cause they wanted me to come after them. I don't know if it's because I just cut them out of my life cold turkey. Like, I literally picked her up from school that day and she never, we never spoke to anybody from that school ever again. And these are all names that you would know. That's what's so sad. And it's like, do you live in a glass house? Like, | 25.64 | 3.258617 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792582.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792583 | [S1] But when people go low, I go high. I just, I don't, you don't fight the darkness. [S2] Right. [S1] So I'm not gonna get into a lawsuit. Even if I know I could win, I still wouldn't go after you because that's just not who I am. I'd rather just be like, "Bye." One, I don't want your dirty money. [S2] Yeah, you don't want that negative energy in your life. [S1] Two, I don't want you around me. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And three, | 17.64 | 2.996818 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792583.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792584 | [S1] The biggest blessing was that you brought me this attorney. And now I've had so many projects with him and my life has done... That's why they say, like, you never kn... Like, when you approach a situation, you never know if it's really a bad situation or is it a blessing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] This horrific situation- [S2] You learned from it. [S1] ... turned out to be- [S2] You grew from it. [S1] ... the biggest blessing. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like, they gave me, literally, an angel. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And now he's, like, a family friend and I've done... There's more money I've made with him than I could have ever gotten from them. | 26.32 | 2.943534 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792584.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792585 | [S1] I was going to ask you, so you go to school, you retire, semi-retire from porn. What do you- [S2] The business. [S1] The business. What do you do next for money? I mean, you probably had a lot saved 'cause you were making a lot at the time. [S2] Yeah, I had a lot saved. [S1] Your husband at the time had a job. [S2] Had a job. [S1] So you had money coming in there. [S2] Yeah, so he was paying like- | 17 | 3.29156 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792585.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792586 | [S1] Yeah, so he was paying like, and we, what I did was I downsized. I actually filed for bankruptcy. Um, so I dumped all those, let's back up, right? I dumped all those pills in the thing. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Before I got pregnant, I was like, "I'm not doing this." My agent said, "I'm gonna sue you. You have this many projects. I'm gonna sue you for this amount of money because you need, you already signed contracts to do these projects." [S2] Oh, you signed contracts and you're like, "I don't want to do them anymore." [S1] Right. | 21.72 | 3.071658 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792586.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792587 | [S1] And I have every right to say I don't want to do it. [S2] Yeah. [S1] I filed for bankruptcy. I get out of this house, this multi-million dollar house. I get out of all these cars and I move into a small apartment. It wasn't that small, like a townhouse apartment. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I mean, there's a huge difference between a 7,000 square foot house and 1,100 square foot. [S2] Yeah, it's small compared to what you were used to. [S1] Right, right. Totally different lifestyle. And I start to figure out who I am. I go to college, I get pregnant, and we stayed in that apartment for seven years, I want to say, almost. And then we moved into a house and | 29.2 | 3.082702 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792587.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792588 | [S1] Now I'm in a different house because of the split or whatever. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] But I just downsized. I downsized my whole life and I started over completely. So I humble-ized myself. One, I lost all my friends who I thought were friends because when you stop paying for people, people don't want to be around you. I sold a lot of stuff because I just didn't need it. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] I'm still selling stuff on Boshmark to this day. I'm still trying to unload all these fucking bags. Why you need so many fucking handbags, I don't know. [S2] [LAUGHS] I don't- [S1] It's so ridiculous. Why do you need so many fucking cars? [S2] That's a weird girl thing. [S1] Like, | 29.2 | 3.099687 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792588.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792589 | [S1] I don't, you know what it is? It's called a, I don't know who I am thing, and I need people to acknowledge me for the wrong reasons. [S2] And part of it's just hypnotized by media and, "Oh, you're a girl. This is what we're supposed to like. We love shopping. Oh, look at all these other girls. Oh, look at- [S1] It's so stupid. It's the, let me find happiness in stuff rather than just naturally being happy. [S2] And you can- | 18.8 | 3.391873 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792589.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792590 | [S1] And they need to wake up. [S2] Right. [S1] And you could leave by example. [S2] But sometimes you have to have, you have to think about it to get to that conclusion. [S1] Of course, of course. So you ask me, how am I ever going to tell her? I think she kind of knows something- [S2] Got it. [S1] ... because of the school situation. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Um, she knows that I didn't do anything wrong. She also knows that people attack you for things that are, um, | 22.12 | 2.930255 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792590.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792591 | [S1] I don't even know how you would word it. Like, people judge you for things that are none of their business. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] Do you know what I mean? [S2] Definitely. [S1] And, um, so I think she learned a little bit because it was something very specific that they were saying that I did. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And it wasn't true. And so she heard that story. And then just recently, I w- I had shown her some magazines that I was in, like, um, Inked and FHM and, like, those kinds of magazines where it's, like, sexy but not, | 29.08 | 2.86795 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792591.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792593 | [S1] I want her to be so smart, to the point of, I'll give you an example of a story. We're in the bathroom, years ago, she was young, maybe five years old, with another gir- another girl. [S2] Girl. [S1] And I'm changing my tampon. | 13.84 | 3.107845 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792593.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792594 | [S1] And the little girl is like, "What is that?" And it's not like they can actually see, right? So let's not make this weird. [S2] Right. [S1] But I'm a woman with two other girls in the bathroom. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And my daughter, she's like, "Oh, Mom's on her period. She's changing her tampon. You'll get your period later." Five-year-old. [S2] Yeah, yeah. [S1] The other girl is like, "What?" [S2] Yeah. That's not what you- [S1] So it just- | 19.24 | 3.151063 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792594.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792596 | [S1] This is science. This is what happens. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Like, this is why I'm cranky. This is why I'm craving chocolate. This is why I'm bleeding. This is why I don't have a baby, 'cause babies are coming out. You know, like, let's... Biology. When I was gonna give birth to her sister, we used... We watched a bunch of YouTube videos of birth. She wanted to see what I was like. [S2] She's informed. She knew. [S1] She didn't... She didn't necessarily like the videos. [S2] So you're ready for the world. [S1] But she's, like... [S2] Think from a phaser. | 25.12 | 3.184914 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792596.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792597 | [S1] No, she's so incredibly enlightened. And part of him, he doesn't agree with a lot of that. But- [S2] I know for me as a kid, I just wanted to know everything. [S1] Me too. And I learned everything on the street. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I don't want my children doing that. [S2] And if someone told me, "You can't know about that," or, "You're too young," then I want it even more. [S1] Exactly. Exactly. | 18.64 | 2.950537 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792597.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792598 | [S1] they have to be informed. They have to know what's up. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And I don't want her to be in a room where a man is locking her in the room. [S2] Right. [S1] Nor do I want her to seek validation in a man. [S2] Or if she's in that situation- [S1] Know what to do. [S2] ... for her to be able to get out of it. [S1] Yeah, exactly. [S2] Yeah, to be aware of that, that stuff goes on in the world. | 17.24 | 3.108966 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792598.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792599 | [S1] Yeah, but that's like the $64,000 question. Like, how do you tell your child you did porn? I don't think it's something that I'm gonna have to actually sit down and tell her. I think she's naturally gonna understand. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] You know, like, I mean, she seen me on Californication. My boobs were out. [S2] Oh, I love that show. I don't remember you on that. [S1] I was on | 15.92 | 3.106978 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792599.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792600 | [S1] I was on an episode or two of those. I was on two episodes of that, and in one of the episodes, like, I start getting undressed because we're supposed to have sex, but we don't actually have sex. But it starts with, like, me undressing my shirt in one of the episodes. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] And she sees this. This is cable TV. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Was it cable TV? [S2] It was Showtime. [S1] Showtime? Okay, whatever. Same thing. [S2] Yeah, yeah. Premium. Premium cable. [S1] I mean, they have more sex stuff on Showtime and HBO than, like, soft porn these days. [S2] Oh, yeah. [S1] So- [S2] I'm in there today. | 25.12 | 3.07677 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792600.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792601 | [S1] Like, I don't think, like, the porn thing is really something that's, like, that mind-boggling to me. It's more of society- [S2] Sure. [S1] ... that I have to deal with, like the school situation- [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] ... or, like, other kids. That's where I want to kind of get ahead of it. But that kind of did. That was my biggest fear, and boom, it happened and it's already over. [S2] And do you ever see yourself going back into it, pornography? [S1] No. [S2] Done. [S1] Yeah, no. [S2] What's, what do you think the next chapter is, just being a mom? Do you have a career pursuits that you want to do? [S1] Um, I'm writing a book- | 29.6 | 3.11091 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792601.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792602 | [S1] Um, I'm writing a book that I've been working on for a long time. I say I've been writing it for a long time. It's actually written, but I just have a problem with like, letting go of it. It's a fiction novel. I don't want to talk too much about it, but it's a three-part series. I totally see it being made into a TV show. I can already like- [S2] And it's already done. [S1] It's already done. [S2] So why don't I- [S1] Um- [S2] What's stopping you? [S1] It's just like, um, even though it's fictional, it's vulnerable. There's a lot of vulnerable moments in the character. | 29.6 | 3.169752 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792602.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792603 | [S1] Have you sent it to close friends to read or any- [S2] No. [S1] ... like an editor, anything like that? [S2] No. Just my attorney. [S1] What'd he say? [S2] Oh, he loves it, of course. [S1] Well- [S2] But- [S1] I don't know. [S2] ... he's ready for it. [S1] Man up, dude. [S2] I know. I've got to find the right publishing people and like, 'cause I know once one is done, then I've got to get on to two and three, 'cause it's a three-part series. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] And I know it's going to be made into something big, so it's like I just have to | 25.6 | 2.885052 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792603.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792604 | [S1] But I also have to get past the part of like, even though you change characters and you change all these things, like your closest family members, they'll be exposed to things that they have no idea about. And so it's all timing, right? I have to, I'm going to put it out this year. That I know. [S2] Okay. [S1] He's already put a time limit on it. I have to go through the divorce thing also because- [S2] Yeah, yeah. [S1] ... for certain reasons. [S2] Yeah. [S1] And for, you know, other reasons. But, um, | 28.32 | 3.011971 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792604.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792605 | [S1] I have to let go of the fact that I'm living for myself and I'm not living to make somebody else happy or comfortable. That's my biggest thing. Like, I don't want to hurt my parents when they read certain stories. [S2] Got it. [S1] Even though it's fictionalized. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] If you understand what I'm saying. [S2] Maybe put it out as a, uh, another identity. Maybe put a different name on it. [S1] No, they're using my SAG name. [S2] Yeah, okay. [S1] Yeah. | 22.44 | 2.803036 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792605.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792606 | [S1] I know, that's funny. When you sent me that, at first I was like, "What is he, a therapist?" And then I was like, "I have a therapist that I pay a lot of money to." And then I thought, "No, it's- [S2] I'm not a therapist. [S1] That I know. [S2] But- [S1] But I like a different perspective. [S2] I could help you. [S1] Okay, help me. [S2] Because- [S1] So tell me how- [S2] I'm the only one in the world. [S1] ... to be a gazillionaire. Again. [S2] Is that your goal? Is that- [S1] No. I mean, yeah. [S2] It seems- | 21.04 | 2.807819 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792606.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792607 | [S1] Yeah. [S2] It seems like, okay, I, I don't know you, but I follow you on social media and it seems like, you know, you're doing all right financially. Are you having any money issues? Are you- [S1] I mean, I don't have money issues. [S2] I mean, you know how- [S1] But I want to make more money. [S2] You know how to make more money better than I do, 'cause I don't have any money. But you have, you already said earlier, you're gonna, you have a book you're sitting on. You want to make money, put out your book. [S1] I know. [S2] There's something. [S1] But I'm not putting out the book for the money. I'm putting out the book to help- | 26.24 | 3.019421 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792607.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792608 | [S1] Sure, but nothing wrong with it. It helps you make a little money. [S2] A lot of money. [S1] You put a lot of work into the book. [S2] My whole life. [S1] There you go. So if you made a little- [S2] Thousands of journal entries. [S1] So if you made some money off of it, it's not hurting anyone. [S2] I know. I'm kind of trying to, like, it's, you have to, like, re-teach. How do you re-train people? Like, the majority- okay, so how I knew that I was gonna change my life is, like, Twitter, you're all your voice, right? [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] So, Twitter, I have, like, a half a million followers. | 29.4 | 2.938539 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792608.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792609 | [S1] That's another way to make money, off social media. [S2] Right. [S1] Podcasting. [S2] Instagram, I have less than 100,000. [S1] Uh-huh. [S2] That's all body image. So to me, it was like the universe saying, "Okay, using your voice is obviously more powerful than using your body because this platform is growing nonstop and it's all voice, where this platform is decreasing. The more you use your voice, the more people you lose because it's more body image and it's not even real." But I'm trying to retrain fans of 20 years | 29.16 | 3.183682 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792609.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792611 | [S1] I think it's like you said. [S2] You just keep going. [S1] You got a book you're sitting on, you want to start a podcast, you got a little corp. [S2] I know, I say all that stuff. [S1] Those are all, those are all ways to make money. But it's tough. You're also a mom. You got two kids. [S2] With no help. [S1] With no help. [S2] I know. 'Cause I'm petrified. 'Cause I went to psychology, got my degree in psychology, and we had to read all those trauma stories. [S1] And you can't make money in that. It's hard to make money in that. [S2] No, that, it, literally, go, getting my degree in psychology, I think, traumatized me more than anything. [S1] I think psychology is the most popular degree there is. [S2] Because it's nothing. [S1] So, | 29.4 | 2.988137 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792611.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792612 | [S1] So it's almost, yeah, so it's almost, it's hard, it's very hard to make money in psychology. [S2] I don't want to make any money in psychology. [S1] Number one major. [S2] I went there just to try to figure myself out. [S1] Right. [S2] But what I learned about therapists, most therapists, is they like to ruminate around your issues 'cause that's how they make money. [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] If they actually fix you, then they make no money. So they don't actually want to fix you. It's really a hope. [S1] So I have a ranking board of issues that's gonna motivate you to, to bring up a better issue than money. So the first- [S2] I don't have a money issue. [S1] [LAUGHS] | 27.88 | 3.028261 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792612.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792613 | [S1] So the first, I'll say- [S2] I have a divorce issue. [S1] Oh, there you go. Yeah. [S2] Not really. I don't have an issue. [S1] The first, this is the second episode where we're doing this segment. The first episode was my friend Trey and his issue was his girlfriend wants to, uh, peg him. [S2] What does that mean? Like fuck him in the butt? [S1] Fuck him in the butt with his strap on. [S2] Okay, I've done a few of those. That will destroy their relationship. | 24.4 | 3.014374 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792613.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792614 | [S1] Oh, interesting. Uh, I, I told him, but so his, his issue I brought up is how for him to get out of it. And I, so I told him- [S2] Say no. [S1] ... "Tell her you don't want to do it. It's that simple." [S2] What kind of woman wants to do that anyway? [S1] His girlfriend, I guess. I don't know. But why would that destroy their relationship? I'm curious. [S2] For me, that kind of destroys the masculinity of the man. [S1] Oh, God. So she'll look at him in a different way after that. [S2] Absolutely. | 25.04 | 3.293239 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792614.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792615 | [S1] Absolutely. You're completely dominating him. [S2] Mm-hmm. [S1] So then at what point is he masculine to you? [S2] Right. That's, oh, there you go. I'm not try- [S1] I would not be into that. [S2] I would have to try this and that. [S1] I would not be into that at all. [S2] I wouldn't be into it. [S1] I mean, I did it on film- [S2] Nothing, right. [S1] ... a handful of times. [S2] Sure. [S1] And- [S2] No, nothing about that sounds like something I would want to do. [S1] There's nothing about that that turned me on. They had to pay me a shit ton of money, way more money than I would make, like, on my normal scenes. And I just felt like | 29.68 | 2.996093 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792615.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792616 | [S1] In a, in one sense, that's good 'cause it seems, I don't want to say easier than a normal scene, but- [S2] No, it's much harder than a normal scene. [S1] Oh, it is. I was gonna say at least nothing- [S2] Because to me, a man is strong and protective and, you know, takes care of you and like- [S1] Yeah. [S2] And a f- female is feminine and, and I'm a pretty strong female, so I don't know. Like, I used to do a lot of domination scenes because I'm such a strong female, right? [S1] Mm-hmm. [S2] But then I couldn't, like, go have lunch with the man. | 29.68 | 2.964776 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792616.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792617 | [S1] Because he was just like- [S2] 'Cause I was just like- [S1] He's a little bitch. [S2] Exactly. [S1] After that day. [S2] Exactly. [S1] Like, "Dude, I can't go get lunch with you. I just fucked you." [S2] Exactly. So I would say, "Do not do that, Trey, whoever Trey is." [S1] It's funny- [S2] It's a bad idea. [S1] You know, flip that around. [S2] Or he might enjoy it and they might fucking love it and that just might be their thing. [S1] Imagine if a guy did that, though. "I can't get lunch with you. I just fucked you." [S2] To a girl? [S1] To a girl. [S2] Like in her ass or just in general? [S1] In | 24.6 | 2.985214 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792617.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792618 | [S1] In general. [S2] In general. You can't flip it. You'd find that- [S1] But that's natural. [S2] And I know. But it's just funny in today's with all the sexism bullshit and all the, not bullshit, but you know what I mean? Where if a girl- [S1] We've all gotten way too sensitive. [S2] Yeah, we've all gotten so sensitive. [S1] It's so stupid. [S2] I couldn't imagine if, if it was flipped the other way. What's the hardest part about going through a divorce? Is it that your once best friend- [S1] The 75 pages of paperwork? [S2] Are you guys, are you guys cordial about the whole thing? [S1] Of course. [S2] You are? Okay. That's great. [S1] Yeah. I see him all the time. [S2] That's amazing. | 29.52 | 3.247123 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792618.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792619 | [S1] That's why I said one day I said- [S2] Think about how many divorces and, you know- [S1] Yeah, I've seen them in my family. [S2] Yeah. [S1] Um, that's why I said the other day I wrote on Twitter, I was like, "Would it be easier to go through a divorce if you hated the person or if you loved the person? Like, which one's harder?" Because there's such a thin line between love and hate, right? [S2] Well, if you're still in love with the person, that might be harder. [S1] No, I'm definitely not in love with him, but I love him unconditionally. [S2] Then I think that makes it easier. | 20.96 | 3.23699 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792619.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792620 | [S1] And I don't know, I think it makes it harder because he has caused me so much pain and I have to rise above the pain that I have, the ways that he's let me down. I have to rise above all of that and I have to smile and I have to eat crow every time I see him when the kids are around. [S2] Right. But that'll get easier. Time heals all wounds. [S1] Maybe. [S2] It'll at least get a little easier. [S1] I would hope so if he wakes up. | 26.08 | 3.02194 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792620.mp3 | [
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bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792621 | [S1] Physically waking up or mentally waking up? [S2] Spiritually waking up. [S1] Spiritually waking up. Even if he doesn't, it'll still get easier because you're gonna, okay, this is just what I'm dealing with in my life. This is my life. [S2] Yeah, I think it's more of my own lesson to accept that he did not protect me the way that I needed him to protect me. Yeah. Absolutely. [S1] And maybe you'll find someone that will, or maybe you'll just protect yourself. [S2] I do not want to be single the rest of my life. I'm 36 years old. Thank you for wishing that on me. [S1] I didn't wish it. I'm saying maybe. [S2] And... [S1] No, I can't. It's out of my control. | 28.84 | 2.938984 | 24,000 | audio/en/bilibili_data_67960599_BV1yf4y167Y3_BV1yf4y167Y3_m4-dialogue_0792621.mp3 | [
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