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r/relationships TITLE: My Girlfriend [18F] just left for college at Northwestern and I [17M] live in Chicago and am having too much trouble POST: So my girlfriend and I started dating a month or so before the start of this past summer, where I am going into senior year at my high school and she is going into freshman year of college. We are pretty serious and we knew that we would probably want to stay together when college came around, but regardless we spent a crazy amount of time together this summer. Basically we didn't go a day or two without seeing each other unless one of us went out of town. We would find a way to see each other whether there was a good excuse or we just didn't want to be apart. I got used to this and started to enjoy our dependency on each other. She didn't want to do a lot of things without me, and she didn't have a super active social life so she really enjoyed spending time with me and wanted me to come along almost any time she hung out with friends. Fast forward to her leaving for college, there were a lot of tears on both ends not gonna lie, but now just two weeks in I am super depressed for some reason and it seems like she's doing just fine. All of the sudden she made a lot of friends (of course) and suddenly appears to not want me around as often. My biggest issue is that I feel too bad about this to share my feelings with her and I'm afraid she will think I'm selfish that I basically want her to want me more again. I know I'm supposed to let her go have fun but it's hard knowing she's doing so much better than me, seeing as I am miserable. *I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS SEMI-LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP I NEED ADVICE TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, I need some answers. Tell me about your worst stomach flu/foodborne illness/drunken experience! POST: Hello Reddit! So here I am, awake at 4:30am with a bad case of the shits. This could either be caused by beer that I tentatively consumed yesterday for Father's Day (I don't normally drink, but Dad convinced me to order a beer sampler at a popular steakhouse/brewery to try), or by something I ate that was less than pristine. I am also disheartened to report that I have a bad case of emetophobia ( I haven't thrown up since 3rd grade and I recently graduated from college in May; that is a long time!) and am hoping that I am not actually sick, as this would cause a great deal of psychological distress. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (18F) friend (18F) of 13 years has a new boyfriend who she has stay over and he has been disrespectful to my house and sister(15F). POST: I live with my dad (45m) and sister (15f) My friend moved in because of family problems. She had just broken up with her past boyfriend and had been living in several places before then. At first she had a job and was paying her way. Then she got let off and since has had one job that lasted a week. She now had a new boyfriend who she hasn't known a month and last Wednesday she asked my dad if she could have him stay over and i expected him to say no because i was not aloud to have boys stay over. He has stayed 3 times since last Wednesday and she brought him around with a bunch of his friends the other day. They were being loud and messing around and me and my sister felt like we were forced upstairs. She prefers that i be out and presumes that I'm staying out that night before asking me and Sunday she wanted me to stay out so he could sleep as we share a room. This leaves my sister alone with them as my dad works nights and since my mom left we have been looking after ourselves at night. He has said to my sister at one point 'i don't care what you say I'm staying wether you like it or not.' Which i find very disrespectful and she has told my dad that she doesn't want him staying anymore. I come home in a morning as my boyfriend has work at 9 and he has left ashtrays shoes and his bag lying around the living room. My friend knows that we don't like him staying and when i said he wasn't going to stay again she got annoyed at me. I had decided to stay out last night and she had had him stay again. How do i approach my dad about this and get my friend to stop having her boyfriend around. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (25M) feel like the crazy bipolar boyfriend in my relationship with my girlfriend (26F) POST: I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year. I love her a lot, and I know she loves me. But lately I'm always losing my temper with her over little things she doesn't even mean to do. And I know I'm the bad guy here but I just can't help it. This fighting has been happening more lately. Perhaps related, is I'm under more stress currently as it is my last semester at university with my hardest classes. But I don't want to make excuses. I don't want to be treating her so badly. I feel like I'm always losing it, and she's the victim. But she always tries to take responsibility for the fights even though it's not her. It just breaks my heart to always be fighting with her over nothing. And she gets especially upset because she doesn't like making me mad. I just feel like a crazy person that's ruining our relationship, and I don't know how to stop. Help? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [30M] with my [23F] SO, discovering that we have very different boundaries with regards to nudity POST: My SO and I have been dating for just under one year, and moved in together 2 months ago. Since that time, I have noticed that my SO really enjoys walking around in her "pajamas" late at night. She doesn't really make any effort to close the curtains or shut the blinds, and I'm certain that she knows how easy it is to look into an apartment when it is dark outside, and all of the lights are on. (Though the windows/glass doors in our apartment do not face any particularly busy roads, they are still trafficked on a semi-regularly basis, so there's certainly a risk of being exposed.) I put the term pajamas in quotation marks because she tends to walk around in her bra and a thong... While I love that my SO is comfortable with her body, and think she looks beautiful in her "pajamas" of choice, I'm less enthused by the fact that she seems to be okay with random passerby catching a glimpse. On one such occasion, I jokingly asked her, "Aren't you going to close the blinds before you take your clothes off?", and she just sort of shrugged her shoulders. I find this hurtful, as I do not think that it is appropriate for other men to see my SO in her underwear, or for other women to see me in any state of undress. (I realize that this might make me "old-fashioned", but everyone has their own understanding of what is and isn't "exclusive" within a relationship, and this is something that is important to me.) Am I being totally unreasonable, or am I justified in being uncomfortable with this? How can I tastefully bring this up as a topic of discussion without upsetting her? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, how do you tell if you're in the friend zone, and how does one go about getting out of it? POST: I've talked to a girl for a while now, and we're fairly close. I've texted her every day since around 2 years ago. I liked her ever since I first met her, and I was pretty smitten. That was, until my best friend decided to date her. Of course, this made things a bit... tense. But I tried to ignore it, and listen to her and help her, because I just couldn't tell the two how devastated I was, so I tried to help their relationship and fake being happy. (At the time, I thought this was a good idea.) They eventually broke up, and I consoled her as best I could. The friend apologized and realized his mistakes, and I understood and forgave him. (As of right now, he and I are very close friends.) As time passed, I slowly ignored the feelings and forgot about them. Fast forward to now, where I realize that I never really got over her, and I realize that I like her. A lot. However, due to previous events, I'm not sure if I am in the infamous friend zone. If I am, how do I get out of it and get to where I can ask her out? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] + Wife [23 F] with my roommate [23 M] duration, short-description POST: On throw away account just in case. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by telling the UPS guy how I -really- felt. POST: A few weeks ago I ordered some custom mats to frame some prints I ordered of an uncommon size (11" x 17", I mean come on!) Naturally weeks went by and the mats never showed and upon checking the tracking I discovered the mats were marked as "delivered" a few days prior. As I have just recently moved out of my parents house to the only neighborhood I can afford I assumed the package had been stolen off of my porch while I was at work. I e-mailed the company who sent the mats to report that I had never received my order. They kindly offered to open an investigation and have UPS track down the mats. Two days later a neighbor from the next street over brought me my package and said she had the same house number, but a different street name, and after laughing about the mix up (and making a new friend :)) I e-mailed the company to let them know I had gotten my order and they could close the investigation. Later that evening, another order of mine was delivered by UPS but this time I was home to receive it when the UPS guy arrived. As I signed for the package the UPS guy turned to me and said, "I understand you didn't received a package delivered a few days ago." I laughed as said, "Oh yeah, my neighbor actually brought it over earlier. Turns out some idiot delivered it to the right house number, but the next street over." To which the UPS guy responded, "Yeah, that was me." We met eyes just long enough for me to see the contempt on his face. We finished our exchange in silence. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [20 M] boyfriend wants to go to the strip club even though I'm not cool with it. What do I do? [20 F] POST: My boyfriend used to frequent strip clubs before we started dating 9 months ago and hasn't gone since due to the fact that I don't approve. Recently, I found out that one of his old friends who he used to frequent with is coming into town and he now wants to go this weekend. In my personal opinion, I feel if you're in a committed relationship then paying to watch other women get naked in front of you is relative to infidelity. Obviously I don't think the two are synonymous, but it just hurts me that he would want to partake in that. It's like if I were to go out with the girls and grind all up on some dude at a club; I don't think my SO would appreciate that very much. I'm not super clear on his usual actions at the club before us dating (whether it be just hanging out or lap dances or what) but regardless, it makes me nervous and feel betrayed that he would disrespect me like this. Reddit, any advice? Am I being irrational? I don't want to seem like a prude but this makes me really upset. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Why do I pass out/feel light-headed after discussing certain topics for a certain amount of time? POST: I wasn't quite sure where to put this, as I don't consider it particularly serious, so I put it here. Apologies if this is the wrong subreddit. About 2 and a half years ago, I managed to pass out in a sex education class when contraception was being discussed. In the following 2 weeks, I passed out in every class (Only one class a week, but that's not really the point). Pregnancy and words to describe different levels of sexual activity (e.g promiscuous) were discussed in those classes. My parents took me to the doctors to see why this was happening and it was narrowed down to lack of sleep and a lack of oxygen reaching the brain when those subjects were being discussed around me (I have no idea as to why that was the case). At the time I believed it, as I frequently went to bed at late times before school. I ended up having to take a bottle of water into each lesson and perform a breathing technique each time I felt light-headed. While this helped, I later realised that the doctor may not have been entirely correct, as I will explain in the next paragraph. I have also experienced fainting with HIV/AIDS discussion (which was the first time I passed out) and a few minutes after getting an injection. I had gone to bed early (around 9pm) the night before the day of the injection, ate breakfast and still passed out. I also feel light-headed whenever I think of someone cutting themselves, particular in the wrist area. It has baffled me ever since I passed out for the first time. Does anybody have any possible ideas as to why this may be happening? TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by inadvertently declining FWB sex. POST: Let me start out by saying, I'm a 28 year old male. I'm balding just slightly, quite successful, but the only thing that looks good on my body anymore is my face. I tend to have a gravitational pull on friendships with the other sex often, and I attribute it to my flirtatious attitude and kind demeanor. So this evening, yes this very one, I was offered sex in a curious fashion. I am married, and I have never really been put in a situation like this. The lady that offered was a close friend of mine. She has an amazing personality and I didn't even realize what she was doing. She and I were talking about her most recent relationship and she went into a conversation about desiring a FWB. What I didn't realize is that she was referring to me. As a married man, I have never had this problem, or had someone even approach the topic like that. I drove home only to receive a txt stating that her offer was obviously declined. Apparently my "I need to get fucked" radar has stopped working. Or perhaps what little morals I have left are finally playing a role in my life. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: Confusion With a Girl From a Different Culture [M/21], [F/22] POST: First time posting here everybody. Forgive me if I don't get the rules right on the head but I think I read the rules properly. I'm [M/21] a senior in college and started dating a girl [F/22] I met freshman year, but never really talked to until this summer (funny story if anybody wants to hear it). We have a very nice relationship and everything is great, except when it comes to her mother. Slight back-story, She is of Russian-Ukrainian descent. Her mother was born and raised there, gave birth to my girlfriend, and moved here when she was 10 years old. Back to the point. My girlfriend has met my mother and step-father, has come down for the weekend, and everything is great. She hasn't let me meet her mother, and her mother doesn't even know I exist. We are approaching 3 months of 'officially' being together, and I asked about meeting her mom a few times and she said that they don't discuss things like that, and it's cultural to introduce me once I have proposed to her. I'm from a slow country background and I'm just not used to something like this and don't know what to think of it. I would be more okay with this, but the issue is that she is graduating this winter and will be going back home until grad school starts, and I'll still be at school two hours away. I am worried I won't see her as much because I won't be able to go down there because I 'don't exist' and will only see her when she can make it up to school for random weekends. Also, I just feel weird with her mother not knowing she is dating and has somebody and I am just used to this stuff being communal knowledge in family. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: One night stand or more? POST: I'm not sure this belongs here or not, so I'm terribly sorry if I'm not allowed to post this here (I just don't know where to post it, honestly), also this is typed on mobile so I can't see sidebar or type/ format this nicely. Like two weeks ago I( 16m) started in a gymnasium and there's been a lot of parties, anyway I'm at this party and meet this girl from another school (was in 10th grade so she'll be going to a gymnasium next year, maybe this one, probably so since this gymnasium is an English one and she is going to a really expensive English school also), we chat for a while, then I walk around and introduce her to some people, then when we're walking around I say, actually I just want to kiss you, then we make out for a while, then we walk away from the party and make out there for a while, then stuff progresses and we have sex, after 3 hours later when we're done we walk back to the party with arms around each other. Once where back at the party we sorta get separated by our friends (they both come from each way) and I go home shortly after as I'm tired and drunk. Anyway, this was two days ago around and I'm wondering whether it was just a one night stand (or more) and if so, should I add her on Facebook (One of her friends added me out of nowhere, so I'm curious) or not, or try to hook up (since she was quite cute) TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] been together three years but I don't know what to do about our lack of affection? POST: Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years and there have been ups and downs. We are currently on a down. He was recently diagnosed with depression, stopped talking to me for two weeks and asked me to not contact him, started talking again two months ago and we have suprisingly been OK since and he has seemed happy, recently got a new job and been chirpy. He is on anti-depressants, however, which have completely taken away his sex drive. I thought no sex would be difficult but manageable, I can sort myself out and see him afterwards for a cuddle (apologies for TMI) but I've been finding it really really difficult. I find myself lying in his bed after he has gone to sleep feeling so lonely and distant from him. He doesn't really like to kiss but will if I ask him to kiss me, he does like to cuddle though and has been extra cuddly recently because he knows it's been upsetting me. He has said he doesn't want to change medication because it's the lowest dose he can be on, and has said he doesn't want me to try and get him in the mood because it could be embarassing and said he would rather wait. But he could be on this medication for another 6 months - a year and I don't know what to do, I just feel so lonely and unsatisfied to be honest. And I feel awful also because I've started fancying other people and thinking about other people and seeking attention through other people. Although I'd never be unfaithful to him, I'm finding myself flirting and being suggestive just to get that attention... TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: Any tips for someone trying to clean up their credit to buy a new house? POST: **Long Version:** (repost from askreddit) My neighborhood could be better. Sometimes drunken people stumble naked onto my porch at night. Sometimes people across the street shoot at each other while my wife hides terrified under the bed. A couple years back the whorehouse at the end of the block burned down. For the most part people keep their dumb shit to themselves, but I have a 2 year old son and I don't feel like explaining to him in a couple years why the 4 year old girls up the block are singing about their pussies. I've known for a long time that I would move before my son got to schooling age, but new circumstances have arose. My Father, as a result of an infection that got a little out of hand, only has an effective lung capacity of 50% of one lung. He also has a football-sized hole in his ribcage and needs someone to remove several feet of stinky gauze from it daily to seep the infection out. It's not really working. He can't support himself and knowing that I am eventually looking to move he came to me to see if he could move in with us. I agreed. Now, to get a new mortgage I need my credit to be a smidge better. According to the 3 agencies I'm well within tolerable limits, but according to loan officers the rating that the agencies give you and the rating you actually have are quite different (30 point discrepancy). I've paid off all my loans and contested everything I could, but I was wondering if anyone here knew other ways to get their credit in better shape with relative speed, I would like to get my Father out of his situation as soon as I can. I've been researching options, but figured I'd ask a potentially great reservoir of experiences. Potentially relevant info: Have a sizable down payment ready, in the US. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 6 years, the only girlfriend I've had. And now we are done. POST: We just broke up. I'm kind of a mess right now, so I'm really sorry if this isn't structured. She's cheated on me in the past, and I forgave her. Then she started talking to some guy a few months ago. But recently, blocked all contact from him because she wanted to be with me. Turns out they kissed a few times. Clearly she isn't stable, and I know this relationship is toxic. After dealing with someone cheating, and trying to work the trust up again, I know when enough is enough. I just don't know where to go from here. I feel incredibly alone. All my friends are doing their own thing. None of my friends even know my relationship has been rocky for the past few years. I'm miserable. I would really just like someone to talk to. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [17F] am jealous of my SO's [18M] ex [18F]. 10 months. POST: My boyfriend James and I have been together for just over 10 months. Before we started seeing each other, he was with another girl, Kate. He and Kate were together for about 2 months before they broke up. However, following the break up they remained friends with benefits for 2, maybe 3 months. Throughout my relationship with James, he and Kate have remained friends. I'm okay with this because I trust him 100% and Kate is very nice and very sweet. We have never clashed or had any issues. The only problem is Kate has cheated in her past relationships. I would never accuse her of attempting to try anything with James, but just knowing that she has been known to cheat makes me a bit uncomfortable. My issue is this: I don't want to come across as rude or controlling by asking James to limit how much time he spends with Kate, because they don't really see each other that often. They never hang out alone because I have already expressed my discomfort towards that. However, knowing that Kate is leagues above me (she's gorgeous, outgoing and more into parties than me), I can't help but feel threatened by her previous relationship with my James, even though it was much shorter and less serious than mine. I prefer being included when they are hanging out together with other friends, but this isn't always possible as they are both a year ahead of me (graduated) and I spend my time at school. I also don't want to be clingy because I respect the need for friendships. I don't want to ruin their friendship because the only cause for the uneasiness that I feel regarding Kate is due to my own insecurities. I just want to know if there is any way that I can keep this jealousy under control. Are there any tips that you guys could share with me to help me feel less jealous of Kate? I know communication is key in relationships but as this isn't an issue of James spending too much time with other people, I want to deal with it myself. I know it's not a healthy way of thinking and I'm just looking for advice on how I can keep my jealousy in order. Thanks TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: how to prep for 4 months in an LDR? [f20] [m20] POST: hey r/relationships! I'm a uni student [f20] with a lovely partner[m20] who goes to the same school as me. problem is, coming up this summer we'll be spending 4 months apart, as we live in different provinces. (yay Canada!) **Background**: We've been best friends since Sept 2011, dating for 5 months now. things are great and wonderful and while it's going to suck being 3000+ km away from each other, i'm sure things will be okay, just lonely. **Problem**:I have a tendency to distance myself from my friends about a month before going home, just because i get really lonely at home and it's worse when i'm intensely missing someone. I don't really think this is helpful, especially in a relationship. On the flip side, i don't want to spend too much time together and a) irritate him or b) make myself miss him more when we have to part. I will be asking my partner what he thinks, but right now we're both bogged down with assignments and i don't think now would be the right time to try to discuss something like this. For the record, we spend a lot of time together (4 nights a week and see each other almost every day, with a few classes together) and the month before we leave to go home is exam break, meaning completely free days aside from exams and studying. I really just want to make the transition as easy as i can, because i know i'll be missing him like crazy over the summer. I'm planning on flying out to see him for a week, but from April 28-late August that'll be the only in-person time we'll have. **Question**:So, Reddit, what is the best way to get ready for four months apart? Should we try to spend as much time together as we can? or try to ease ourselves into not seeing each other as much? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] of a month, I tend to overthink things and it gets the best of me. POST: So after 6 years of being single and a couple girls who didn't want a relationship, I've found myself in a relationship once more. The only problem is that I'm unsure of how to go about being in one. How much hanging out is too much? Am I being overbearing for wanting to see her often? I don't know! Two of my best friends passed away last year, and my other moved out of state, so I've felt kind of alone. Its nice to have someone that I don't feel alone with, but I don't want to take things too fast, ya know? It seems like its going well, I really enjoy spending time with her and hanging out with her friends, and they all seem to like me quite a bit, but there's a part of me that can't help but think that its all just a passing fancy. I've been trying to just ignore those thoughts and enjoy the ride with the hopes that those intrusive thoughts go away eventually. I figure the best way to go about it is to just be myself and not worry because if she didn't want this she wouldn't be in a relationship with me. I just want to change that part of me that worries all the time. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [28 M] Girlfriend [28 F] of one year has anxiety she will not address POST: I've been with my girlfriend a little over one year. We currently live together. When we started dating she confided in me she has some anxiety issues, especially made worse by her unemployment. As we got to know each other better and moved in together, more and more issues began presenting, all of which were manageable by both of us without much of an issue and everything has been great. She lost her insurance coverage several months ago. As a result, she would wake up with anxiety attacks in the middle of the night after having sex, worried she was pregnant. We always used condoms and pull out but no other birthcontrol as she has had issues with it in the past. We decided to stop having sex until she could get insurance, that was several months ago now. I have mentioned applying for Medicaid to help with her health needs, but she refused. This has been a huge drain on the relationship for me but it doesn't seem to bother her. Even more recently she had to cancel a trip because her anxiety about traveling was too much. This was the first time we were going to travel together. I went anyways because I had obligations and this led to some huge fights. I asked if she would consider therapy or medication and she took it as a personal attack. Eventually she agreed to try therapy if I paid for it out of pocket but she said she wouldn't be happy about it and I fear she will resent me for it. She adamantly refuses to take any medications of any kind as well. I love her madly but do not know what to do at this point. I'm looking towards my future and I don't know if this can work out long term. Additionally, I'm not being as comforting as I once was, which I feel terrible about, but I'm hitting the end of my rope. Any help or advice for those who have been through similar situations? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (29/f) homophobic mother (61/f) hates my fiancee (29/f), said some shitty things to her, my fiancee now wants to reconsider our engagement POST: My mother is still homophobic (a Korean immigrant to the US). She is "accepting" but hates that I am gay and hates my fiancee with a vengeance (my fiancee is white doesn't help either). Yesterday night at our apartment my mother was over for dinner and she tore my fiancee apart to where my fiancee was crying after my mother left. She made my fiancee feel like shit. She kept implying that I could do better, could be with better women (even though she wants me to be with men??). She said I deserve a woman who graduated from an ivy league university like me, made as much money as me, somebody who was my "equal". She heavily implied that my future kids could be very smart and successful if I married somebody smarter. This is bullshit. My fiancee is amazingly intelligent. She graduated from a top 20 school with honors, has a career she is devoted to (even if non-profits might not make the most money), and is one of the most capable and good human beings I know. My fiancee wants to retalk about and reconsider our engagement. She brought up that she does feel inferior in our relationship, that I sometimes make her feel dumb, that she feels like it does bother her that she's not able to contribute as much finnacially as i am which she KNOWS doesn't bother me. What the hell is going on?!? My fiancee has never talked seriously about these issues in the past. It seems like she is trying to find things wrong with our relationship because what my mother said bothered her. TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: Need Help Making a Move (My First 2nd Date) & Being Unnecessarily Doubtful POST: Last month, I (22M) met a shy Asian girl (25F) at a dinner party and managed to hit it off with her, getting her # by the end of the night. We had our 1st date last week and I think it went well. I complimented her, did some light kino (shoulder touch) just to build some more attraction. Despite doing this, I'm still quite inexperienced. These past few days, I feel mixed (like it's too good to be true) b/c on the date, 1: She said whenever you're free, call me. 2: Whenever I talked to her, she would have her eyes focused intently on me. 3: I made her laugh a handful of times without trying. 4: After, I texted her saying, "Thanks for coming out. I hope you had a good time." and she responded, "I did, indeed. :)". It's strange to me b/c I'm just not used to this, lol. I would've asked her out already today, but she didn't pick up. I do plan on taking her out to walk/shop around a really nice mall and get dinner at the end. The only thing that I'm troubled with is making the move. How do I initiate it? Do I just extend my hand? Is it that simple? I'm confident in my talking, but it's just the physical intimacy that I'm not used to. I am also a bit nervous about potentially kissing her at the end of the night (okay, I've never been kissed before). I'm just running situations in my head and it's driving me nuts. TL;DR:

r/Dogtraining TITLE: Hiring kikopup vs a certified trainer? POST: Hey guys, I am looking into hiring a trainer/behaviorist for my brother's large dog. The dog mainly just has a bad temperament and can be difficult to handle because there are things he doesn't like, and if you were to push him he would probably bite. This extends from things like petting when he doesn't want to be pet, to taking care of wounds. He also has to be told to get in his crate in a certain way or he will hide under the table, where I am quite sure he would bite if we tried to pull him out. He's a very particular dog and there are things that he is very sensitive to, and we would like to learn the best way to handle this and reduce his sensitivity. I live in San Diego and was very excited to learn Kikopup from youtube lives here as well, since the industry is not very well regulated. I emailed her and we talked back and forth, and she said it is a difficult issue but she can help us work on it. I asked whether she had any certifications, however, and she said no. She gave me a link with people in the area who are certified and have been vetted by person who made the list, so there are those as options, however since I have seen her work on youtube I feel decently comfortable with her. Anyone have advice on who to hire? I feel as if her not being certified isn't a big deal, but I'd like second opinions. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I[24M] broke up with my girlfriend [23f] several months ago. Still experiencing fallout, mostly due to me. Details inside. POST: Dated a girl for 6 years exclusively. Broke up for a variety of reasons, none of which were baleful, and the separation was mutual. Of course, being together for 6 years, we're best friends; I can talk to her about anything and the conversation flows perfectly. She moved to the opposite side of the country post-breakup. I live in LA, where finding friends is...difficult. LA is a very lonely city, beyond superficial interactions, and it always has been. She moved to where she doesnt know anyone, in Pennsylvania. So we're both lonely. We both try to keep busy and to focus our energy elsewhere, but we're both lonely and both still in love with each other. Occasionally I'll go home for family reasons to Ohio, and she'll make the commute to meet me. We'll hang out and have fun and have sex - the friendship/sex combination has been a part of our relationship since before we started dating, a sort of 'im hot, youre hot, lets fuck' situation. Everything's been good. I've visited home a few times, and we've been good at compartmentalizing our physical flings away from our friendship, but something came up last week; I mentioned our traditional sexual encounter, and she replied with 'I dont want to if you're seeing someone else' which is a perfectly valid and respectable stance. But has raised some conflict. At which point do I stop giving deference to her? She is my best friend, and probably the best lay of my life. She will get upset if I refuse her sex, as that constitutes admission that I'm seeing someone else, and will damage the friendship that I value so highly because LA is a smoking wasteland where meaningful interactions go to die. But I also recognize it's highly manipulative - she knows I value the friendship. And she knows by taking this stance, she is manipulating my behavior, because we're still in love with each other. Because we're friends, we still talk pretty often - at least once a week. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [18F] will be away from my boyfriend [20] for a month. Unsure of how to handle it. POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating since the start of the semester, roughly three months now, and we've spent a large chunk of that together. The longest that we've gone without seeing each other was a week and that was horrible because I didn't know how to act and spent a majority of the time telling him how much I missed him and getting really emotional. I really like this guy. I'm not really like that though, and I don't want a month of tears and lovey dovey texts that lack conversation. It's been two days now that we've been separated, and there's been a few I miss yous but mostly I've dealt with it better. I am, however, scared of falling back into the emotional mess that I was before. How do I keep the relationship strong despite the distance (without telling him how much I like him every five seconds)? Are there anyways to actually make it fun to apart? And lastly, any recommendations as to how to handle the waves of intense missing him that I get, especially at night when I have nothing to distract me? TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: I'm female & bi...have a friend I "like" coming over for a movie tonight, nervous as hell. Need advice. POST: I hope this is the right place to ask this...I have a bit of a unique situation. I'm 30 YO, and my friend is 33 YO (female also). She's showed definite interest in me (we've gone out a few times to shows, dinner, went camping last weekend and she gave me a quick kiss) so that isn't the problem. The problem is I don't know how to make a move on her. When she is forward, I tend to be shy/introverted. I don't want her to lose interest in me or think I don't like her because she isn't very interested in "sub" girls, but I have so far been too shy and nervous to flirt openly with her. I want to change this, but I'm not sure how to overcome my anxiety about it. She's coming over to watch a movie tonight at my place. I tried flirting with her a little over text messages, but she wasn't very responsive. I'm not sure if that is her just wanting me to "work" harder for her attention, or if she isn't that into the idea of us fooling around during the movie. Additionally, I'm married (to a man) and we have an open relationship. He is interested in her also, and they have plans to play video games at our place tomorrow night, while I am out with another friend. They (my husband and my friend) exchanged some messages earlier in the week and she was much more flirty with him (I'm pretty sure they may have sex, I know she is open to it), but he says it took him a while of flirting with her to get her to start responding in that way, so I'm trying not to be jealous or interpret it wrongly. I'm looking for the best way to make a first move, or to judge her reactions/see if she really wants me to move forward. I'm typically very shy and passive, and it's hard for me to make a move. I know there must be plenty of advice on here about this...but TL;DR:

r/AskDocs TITLE: Stye-like issue with my eye. POST: Hey r/AskDocs, need a little help. I've had a stye like bump on my eye for a few months now. It look just like a stye.. redness with a little bump, which I've had in the past. The difference is, a little time with a warm washcloth on the eye has gotten rid of it in the past, but thats not working this time. Normally I would just run into the clinic, but unfortunately I was recently laid off and without benefits, so Im not ready for huge medical bills coming out of my pocket. Im not sure at this point what it is, hoping its minor.. maybe just a clogged tear duct? Any ideas about what it may be, or how to treat it myself would be GREATLY appreciated. If you think its something I really need to get checked out right away (before I can find another job with medical) let me know that as well. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (25f) girlfriend has been talking a lot with her new male coworker. I (26m) got suspicious and stupidly snooped through her social media accounts. POST: I found a message from one of her friends that said some stuff that leads me to think she's debating leaving me for him. Some of the key notes were "it's totally understandable to desire something more or different" and "I'm not saying give up or anything" and "he pushed you to these feelings." Among some other things. She has assured me he's just a friend and she's just trying to make new friends since she moved out of state to be with me. I also discovered that apparently our relationship hasn't been doing too well. I'm currently unemployed and searching for a new job, so I always assumed she was stressed over that. She hasn't expressed being unhappy with me. I'm not sure how to go from here. I want to bring this up to her, but I know she'll (rightfully so) get pissed at me for snooping through her things. I've never had a habit of snooping but I just had a feeling, and apparently I was right. How do I address this situation without making it worse? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [22 M] have been feeling distant from my [23 F] gf of 2 years, now she has male flat mates POST: Hi r/relationships, My gf of 2 years and I are currently long distance (we were together for one year and then went to different grad schools). We have seen each other four times for 1-2 weeks at a time in the past 10 months. At first we skyped almost every day. As we both adjusted to the new situation skype became less frequent, that was fine because we were both making new friends and adjusting to the new situation. Currently we skype every couple weeks for anywhere from twenty minutes to two hours. We also text a lot during the day. Basically I have been feeling more distant lately, like I don't really know much about her life anymore. She mentions doing something with a friend, and I ask how she met them, and she seems annoyed and will say "we've been friends for weeks - I told you about them", when I know she never did. Today we skyped for about twenty minutes for the first time in a week, and she mentions having a bbq tonight with her new flat mates and their friends. I said "oh fun, I didn't know you got new flat mates" and she informed me they moved in a week ago and are both male. She had to go so we did not talk about it any more yet This is the embodiment of how I have been feeling. Not only did she not mention getting new flat mates, showing that I am disconnected from her life, but they are both male which is something I would have like to talk with her about before hand (I probably would have been fine with it, but I think as a serious boyfriend that is something she should have brought up to me). What should I do? I really love this girl, but I feel like the relationship has slowly eroded away from distance. She will be moving closer in about 5 months (still long distance but close enough for weekend visits). TL;DR:

r/AskDocs TITLE: itching sensation on back. Doc is now saying it could be a tumor? POST: I'm a generally healthy 26 yo white male. 6'0, 189 pounds, very active I've seen several doctors for what has been a mild itching sensation in my right mid-lower back going all the way back to Thanksgiving of last year. All my blood tests are normal. No food allergies. Two doctors have examined the area and diagnosed me with hives and have tried to treat it with steroids and antihistamines with no avail. It's an itching/tingling sensation, but I don't need to scratch the area. It is on and off, but can sometimes get very bothersome and last for up to ten minutes at a time. Recently, on a separate matter, I found out I have cervical kyphosis with asymmetric right paracentral protrusion resulting in mild right central stenosis. So, a bulging disc in my neck. Regarding the itch, I finally couldn't take it anymore one day, and I went to an urgent care facility with paperwork from all my previous doc visits. He told me it definitely wasn't hives and I should get an MRI of the area. He said it could either be related to the stenosis from a bulged disc or it could even be a tumor. The thought of a tumor of course freaks me out, so I'm looking for any advice as I await for my upcoming MRI. My cousin is a chiropractor and she said that normally stenosis from the bulged disc from c5-c6 doesn't affect the thoracic spine which is where my issue is at. So that is a little upsetting. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice. Best. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [24M] am more invested in our relationship than my girlfriend [20F] and I want to change POST: Girlfriend and I have been going out for 3 months now. She is my first girlfriend. Since she is my first girlfriend, I find myself overly invested in her. All of this is new to me and I'm enjoying it. First confession. First date. First kiss. First PIV. Oh the butterflies. She would be a priority in my life. I'd forego hanging out with friends, working out, or eating dinner to spend more time with her. Of course, for her it's not the same case. I'm her fourth boyfriend. She balances spending time with me and with her friends. She keeps her priorities straight when it comes to school, work, and me. But more than that, I'm a second thought at times. While hanging out at a cafe, I'll buy two slices of cake for us to enjoy. Then she'll buy two scones, one for her and one to take back home to her brother. While on dates, she'll have just as much conversation with me as she does texting her friends. When I'm hanging out with her and her friends, I'm essentially ignored. It won't occur to her to include me in their conversations. Those times are especially awkward. ----- I want to change that. I want her to be less of a priority in my life. I want to pick up hobbies and make new friends. I've sorted out some of my priorities. I'm eating dinner again. Working out again. Doing well in my studies. My friends remember what I look like. But I also want to be a higher priority for her. More than a second thought. I don't want to seem needy, but I do feel neglected at times. As this is my first relationship, I don't know whether the problem lies with me or her. TL;DR:

r/jobs TITLE: Seeking opinions on whether I'm about to get laid off POST: Some minor history: I have been employed by a large company for over 13 years. In 2008 the local office, at which I was a supervisor, closed and I was given the option to work from home. I accepted and have done so ever since. I was transitioned to hourly (non-exempt) in 2010, though my pay was protected. After the office closure all of positions were moved to the HQ in GA. Cut to last Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving): I receive a call from my manager telling me that because I was no longer Exempt I would be moving into the local district office instead of working out of my home office. This is a new manager who took over after a large office closure in CT (similar to what happened in 2008, with all of the accounts again moving to GA). She also stated that the company was no longer willing to pay for the VPN as one of the other reasons for this change. This immediately set off alarm bells and I started thinking that this was the 'first step' in a lay-off action. I've since made all of my appointments for this month (dr., dentist, eyes) and worked up a contingency budget for my household if this did occur. On Monday I will be going into the office for the first time in 5 years and at some point a truck will be coming by to pick up all of the office equipment and filing stuff I was given for my home office. /r/jobs what do you think? Am I in line for a lay-off or should I not be concerned? Thanks for your opinions! TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: My [20m] girlfriend [20f] of about a year spent the couple years before me as a wild party chick and that stresses me out POST: It's a bit hard to explain my feelings. Basically my girlfriend spent the end of high school and beggining of college sowing her wild oats. She was drunk most of the time, did a lot of drugs, and slept with kind of a lot of guys. She was largely influenced by her siblings (who are still like that today) She's not like that now. Now she's everything I could ever ask for. She's sweet and caring and smart and all that good stuff. My problem is that whenever that unapatizing time in her life comes up in the conversation, I have a hard time not getting all morose about it. I'm a calm, peace-loving, salt of the earth type person, so the party girl isn't all that attractive to me. So what are some thoughts I can switch to, rather than dwelling on the past? Peoples favorite thing to tell me is to not judge her and just get over it and stuff. I'm not judging her, we're all just people. But I can't get over it without someone else's wise words to reflect on. TL;DR:

r/books TITLE: How do I become a better reader? POST: Hey all, I used to be a really avid reader when I was a kid. Then I got a new job that requires a lot of hours and hard work, and stopped reading for a while, but now I'm trying to get back into it again. Trouble is, when I was a kid, I'd either read books below my skill level and not be challenged or read books above my skill level and skim through them without really being challenged. Now that I'm starting to read actual adult books, I'm finding it hard to get through them. I feel like my attention span is too short, and my eyes are just moving past the words without fully comprehending them. I often have to read each sentence five or six times without really understanding it, and when I have to do that with every sentence, I find it hard to stay invested and enjoy the read. I don't want to downgrade to easier books because I don't want to be restrained to only reading easy books. I've tried reading a few books that I'm really interested in (*The Jesus Papers*, *The Portrait of Dorian Gray*, and a couple others) and it's really hard to get through them even though I want to read them. Am I just not smart enough for these kinds of books? Thanks for your advice, sorry for the long-winded post. TL;DR:

r/loseit TITLE: Don't judge/compare yourself against others. Especially endomorphs POST: This is just a brief description if you don't know what I'm talking about as far as body types: Some of the transformations you see are literally because that person has better genes than another. It doesn't mean they didn't work hard, but it's also something to keep in mind when you are getting discouraged. Yes, they could go from flab to fab in 3 months and it could take you 3 years with stricter diet and exercise. I've been seeing a lot of people talking about how reddit and bullies are negatively enforcing certain habits. It's the internet and advice is only a tool. It's up to each person to take whatever information they want and to apply it to how **they** see fit. Research can show coffee is bad one day and a super bean the next. The real motivation I think people get her is purely inspirational. Fitness is also controversial because it's hard to prove one method is better than another especially with different body types. Personal Trainers aren't any better even if they train you perfectly it's up to the client to eat a respectable diet on top of their training. The take away from this post is that people are confusing the goal of the loseit community. They think they're going to find some weight loss secret or XYZ. Yes, there is definitely advice on those things, but you could also get that off a dvd or in a book. Why did you come to the interwebz? The community is the most important part. Sharing stories and becoming motivated to make personal changes. This whole side-rant goes back to the idea of accountability. I have my own flaws like everyone else... I don't weigh myself hardly ever, but I do look at myself in the mirror quite often. I'm not only looking at the things I need to improve, but the success I've already made. It's what I need to avoid being complacent. TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: (22M) Looking to date a woman of close age, but I have a few complications. POST: I am super interested in this girl and would like to get to know her better and go out with her, but I have a few problems slowing me down a little. I waited until I was 18 to even get my driver's license because I leave the house so little. I never payed attention to roads or anything growing up (stupid of me) and I almost never go more than 10-15 minutes away from my home. The problem is, everything decent is about 45 minutes away from my house in a bigger city area that is completely foreign to me. I never drive there and I have no idea where anything is. I would need a GPS to navigate anything there. This is my problem. She lives closer to this area and often drives through it while I never do. So any potential dating location I could take her to would involve embarrassingly pulling out a GPS to get there and meet her, or if I were to pick her up, it would be even worse. What can I do? Alternatives? Advice of any kind is welcome. On top of this, I am in no way confident in my driving skills, under stress I drive much worse than normal so on top of not knowing my area but also potentially having a very attractive girl in the car with me would kill any road awareness I would have left. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [F19] and falling for a friend [m23] and I don't know if he feels the same way POST: I met this guy through a mutual friend a few months ago. He lives in my city, but I've only ever met him (in person) twice. However, we talk online nearly every day. I know he's single, and I know he's very outgoing, especially when it comes to women. I'm not exactly shy myself, but I have very little experience when it comes to dating, and I'm completely oblivious when it comes flirting (and I avoid chick flicks like the plague, so the only on-screen relationships I have for "inspiration" are Han and Leia-esque ones). What I'm saying is, how do I tell if this guy in interested in me? And how do I know he's not chatting to a bunch of other girls while he's also chatting to me? We have a hell of a lot in common, but these days our conversations are getting pretty strained and sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't want to talk to me, even when it's him who started the conversation. His replies basically just consist of an emoticon or one or two words. That being said, I'm terrible at judging people's emotions IRL, so I'm probably just being stupid here. I've considered asking him out for a pint (or even just for a cup of tea) a few times, but I always chicken out. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I'm [23/M] worried I fucked up a new relationship with a crush [20/F] by sleeping with a casual date early in our relationship. Possible self-sabotage and guilt situation. POST: I met a girl, lets call her Kelly, on Tinder a couple weeks ago. Things went well, we went on several dates and got along pretty well. This was a pretty casual relationship with no talk of exclusivity or anything as well. A week ago I met another girl (Anne) from one of my classes that I had a crush on for a whole year. We hit it off and end up going on a couple dates. The problem starts here, I invited Kelly to a party earlier in the week and I'm unsure of what to do and end up taking Kelly and we sleep together that night. The next morning I feel incredibly guilty and end up ending things with Kelly because things are getting out of hand. This is my first time dating casually also. Now Anne doesn't know about my earlier relationship, and I'm feeling incredibly guilty for having been with someone during our first 2 dates. We haven't slept together or had a talk about expectations, but I don't know if I should tell her or what but the guilt is wracking my brain. I apologize for grammar, I didn't sleep super well. TL;DR:

r/BreakUps TITLE: I just found out my ex is engaged to the girl he was cheating on me with. I know he's a d-bag, but I still feel terrible about it. Any ideas why I would be feeling this way? How does one get over such a thing? POST: the back story: both in our late 20's, he and i were dating for 2.5 years. we lived on the north east coast, he got a job transfer and we moved together across the country. I went to go spend some time with family for a little bit while looking for a job. After two months, he breaks up with me. A side note is that i had also covered all our moving expenses, bought major appliances for our house, paid the rental deposits up front, basically everything, upon the agreement that he would pay me back his share once he started getting paid (i had saved all my money before the move, he didnt). he breaks up with me, i say ok, pay me now, asshat. he doesnt. i sue him, i win. he also gets evicted from the house we rented together, thankfully i took my name off the lease way before that. ffwd a year-ish.. i get an email from his new girlfriend asking me some bs about if he ever cheated on me because she is now worried that he is. after trading info, we both realize that he cheated on me with her. it hurt, but he's no longer my problem. I happened to indirectly find out through a mutual friend that he is now engaged to this girl. i know.. this guy is a real winner.. but it stings that he is with her. and also that im still single. and i just turned 31. any advice on how to get over this stupid shit? because, lets be honest, its stupid. but i cant help feeling shitty. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [25 M] with my Gf [25F] 7 months, was nude in front of her ex POST: During the first few months of dating her and her ex were hanging out and she went for a shower before they went out somewhere. Her ex was playing with her cats in her room and she walked in naked not knowing he was in there. She tried to cover up the best she could and he handed her something she was coming in the room for. She came clean about it... but I don't know if I should just break it off or stay because things are going well now. She also during this period didn't tell me she was hanging out with him cause she was afraid I'd be jealous/mad. She is now wanting to be transparent. Has the damage already been done? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: The girl [24F] I'm [25M] dating wants me to engage in her fetish. POST: Bear with me. I started dating this wonderful girl two months ago. We share very common interests; we love being around each other. When I first started dating her, she mentioned that she did have an odd fetish - I was thinking, "OH, she's probably into BDSM or something like that." She asked if I'd be willing to try it, and I, thinking that it wouldn't be too weird, said, "Sure! But let's get to know each other first, okay?" like a sex-crazed idiot. Anyways, we date, everything goes *great.* We have sex a good bit; I haven't really been sexually active until now but it's going good. The other day, she mentioned something to me about the fetish. I had forgotten about it, and so I asked her what she had in mind. She told me she likes anal and fecal play. As in my anal and her fecal. I'm not saying people that like that are bad, but it has made me see her in a different light. I told her no, she said, "But you said.." and we got aggravated at one another. The dust settled and we chilled out, but the other day, I saw little baggies of her turds in the freezer. I am concerned that either she is getting her fix somewhere else, or she's going to force me to do that with her. I like her a lot - I'm emotionally invested in her. This has caused me to take a step back. Should I just grin and bear it, or should I call the relationship off? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Please help Reddit! Looking for Hangover Cure. POST: I am pretty sure I didn't dream this. I saw a thread whilst drunk about a hangover cure in pink packaging. I believe it was from Germany? The author and everyone else who had used it concurred it worked very well. I cannot remember the name of it for the life of me! Search bar has shown no results thus far :( Also I believe I recall a name along the lines of Kayley Kite? The original post included an "all the things" meme of buying all the..... Kayley Kite??? Reddit I am sure one of you will remember or know of the answer and I would love to know it because now I am not sure if it was just me dreaming! TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I don't want IMDB (or any page) to display movie titles (or whatever) in my language, but in English, I'm not using the local site. Please help. POST: So, I just found out that I don't see the movie titles in English [here] although I obviously am on the international page. Why the fuck do websites do this shit to me? I want to see everything that is English in English. For instance, the imdb.com page and its contents. Why can't I? There must be a way, otherwise they wouldn't offer me a whole page in my language, right? Would be useless if everything already were like that on the .com page. Oh guys, sorry for the rant, but I hate this shit. I hope you can help me, redditeurs. No proxy shit please, that's inconvenient. And, of course, my browser's language is set to English and even my OS and everything on my computer is set to English. So... BTW: This goes for all websites, if there's a trick. It used to be really nice with Google, the browser language was enough. But they changed stuff and now google.com redirects me to my local google unless I click a link somewhere. But still, many of the first hits when I search something aren't English. There are, but not as many as there used to be. Well, sorry I couldn't keep this short. HELP ME. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I need advice....(16/m and 16/f) POST: We first dated about a year ago. She was waaaaaaaaay out of my league and pretty much perfect (in my eyes). Unfortunately that only lasted for about a month (until finals). She said she was too stressed to be 'more than friends', so I let her go. We talked over the summer and hung out every once in a while, but things didn't really get serious again. Things died down during the school year and we stopped talking, but last week she texted me out of the blue and said she wanted to hang out more. I figured it was too good to be true and said I was too busy to. She was the best thing to happen to me and I don't know what I was thinking. Help? ( TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [21M] have told a girl [23F] I really like a fake name, how do I break this? POST: Hi, throwaway and slightly changed facts since she browses here. Well I started talking to this girl on a dating website with this really old account I had from before that I just used to get laid, so I had a fake name on that profile for.. security reasons (some people are just crazy scary). And well, now I've grown very interested in her and she seems to be very into me as well. We talked very short on the website before exchanging Kiks, Skype and all that, so I actually didn't know until this night when she said good night and made a corny reference to my fake name. And so it hit me like a bowling ball. We've met RL as well but never really called each other by our names you know (in my country you really never do unless it's very formal) So how do I tell her that I'm actually called something else entirely? I'm afraid that she will just think that I was going to use her for sex but got feelings or something, I really don't know what to do. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: Need advice on whether or not to try to contact a girl... POST: Okay so I recently moved to a new town and don't have very many people to hang out with. There's a coffee shop that I kept going to for about a month or two and there was a cute girl that always kept a conversation going with me. She had a bunch of aspect about her I liked and she even somehow seemed nervous around me! But anyways the last time I saw her I was in a hurry and as she was putting the cash in the register I just walked away and said "Thank you, keep the change!" She looked a liittle disappointed. But anyways ever since then I haven't seen her there. I never asked her out because I was waiting to start my new job first. Maybe I'm just incredibly unlucky and she changed her work schedule and I happen to not go every day she works. So what I'm wondering is if I should ask the other baristas about her? Maybe see if she just started working at another coffee shop? I'm really bummed out that I missed my chance to ask her out. I should have done it sooner. And I'm not sure if asking about her is kind of weird... For some reason we never exchanged names completely. So I'd probably just be asking about "the redhead that used to work here". Is that weird? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [19M] girlfriend [19F] may be about to flunk out. How do I ease her fear? POST: I'm not sure if this is the proper subreddit, but here goes anyway. If you can think of a better subreddit, please tell me. My girlfriend [19f] and I [19m] are attending a fairly strict engineering school. She has a project that got destroyed and her team will have a week to rebuild and test it. I estimate they have about a 70% chance of success. If it is not a success, she will undoubtedly fail the course. Failing this particular course would at the very least force her to take another year to graduate, and could also very likely simply cause her to get kicked out. It isn't that she's not cut out for this though: if it is a success, I'm sure she will have no trouble graduating on time. Obviously this means she is about to be in for a huge amount of work and an even greater amount of stress, since this one project will have direct impact on the course of her life. (And mine as well, because if she does flunk out it would force our relationship to be long distance at the very best.) My question is, how do I help her through this? As far as the project goes, the best I can do is chip in money for parts. Otherwise, I am limited to trying to assuage her worries so she can do her best work. Of course I will tell her that I am available to help in any way. But beyond that: What can I say? Do I just say, "Everything will work out?" Is that enough, given that her fears are actually justified? Do I try to tell her things will be alright even if she fails, that she can take another year? Would that just stress her out more by making her think even more about the possible consequences? What can I do? What random acts of kindness might help? Should I shower her in a constant stream of chocolates and berries and affectionate notes? (And if so, what reassuring things would the notes say?) Although I'm not under nearly the pressure she is, I'm feeling really anxious and *really* impotent. Any advice would be very greatly appreciated! TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: I read the AskReddit thread about Divorced redditors (Happy offmychest, for a change) POST: I read this comment: "Just think to yourself. "Do i want to marry this person?", "Do i really want to settle down and have kids with this person" "Am i willing to share everything i own with this person". Think long and hard and you will know your choice" I went out at the weekend and I met someone who made me feel really happy and it worried me a little about my relationship. But reading that comment made me feel so secure and happy, because I *know* absolutely that the guy I'm dating is the one I want to marry, the one I want to wake up next to in 50 years time and discuss our Magic cards and our hypothetical grandkids. I want to grow old with him, be a team with him and generally just say "yes" when he asks me to marry him. I was so panicked that I was having doubts, that I was doing wrong. But it was just the huge amount of stress and alcohol and barely any contact for 2 weeks with my SO because of holidays etc. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I (M16) text a girl F(16) that I don't know. POST: The girl's best friend is my best friend's girlfriend. Her best friend thinks me and this girl would be really cute together. She keeps pushing me to talk to her so I am. The problem is: I don't know her at all. I have her number because my best friend's girlfriend gave it to me. I see her in school but we don't talk. I would talk but we have half days this week and probably some of next week too so I can't see her. Should I just text her and start talking to her? to me it's kind of awkward and stalkerish. If I do text her, what should I say and what kind of conversation should we have to keep it from being awkward? I've never been in this situation before and the help is greatly appreciated. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Our 6 y/o doesnt want to play football anymore but the gf is saying no, he needs to play (UPDATE) POST: Shes 26 and im 33 Original: Not much time to type it all out but she is still not seeing it my way. today he had a meltdown that his stomach was hurting a lot. monday he wanted to leave school early because he was in pain. on tuesday he missed practice because he still wasnt feeling well. today he had practice but he kept crying that his stomach was hurting. mom (my gf) said he was just faking it to get out of it but i wasnt sure since he just had a stomach bug. he was crying pretty bad in front of his team. pretty embarrassing, i wanted to leave there asap before his teammates torment him about it the next time they see him. sick or not, i dont want him to be there if its going to make him that miserable. his happiness will always come first to me. i rather pull him out of that league but the mom insist that it will teach him goals, values, morals, blah blah all that good stuff. thats nice but i know a few people that were in junior leagues and turned into a bunch of druggies. i dont mind that he is in sports but i really would like him to want to go more than the mom wants him to go. i want our son to be into it and excited about it. mom says when im still at work, he has no problem going. he gets ready and never complains but when im around. he starts to throw a fit and tantrums. i wont allow him to get away with this when it comes to academics but some league where he barely plays during the scrimmages, he can miss a practice or two. mom (the gf) blew up and said i should have her back, no matter what. i feel like its all about what she says, and nothing I say is right. Also when we got home, our son was feeling better. She said it magically went away and that it was an act all along. I didn't mind that he missed it, I wanted to spend time with him any way. What do you guys think about this? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My gf [18F] has proven to be untrustworthy and is moving away for college in September, should I [19M] break up with her? POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and she has broken promises and lied to my face on several occasions. She is somewhat of a blabbermouth and likes to discuss private parts of our relationship with others. I understand that she needs to talk to people other than myself about our relationship, but I have explicitly asked her many times not to discuss details with my friends. She has done it before and we had a huge fight over it but she promised never to do it again. However, recently I caught her doing it again and when I confronted her she denied it until I provided my evidence, at which point she began making excuses. These discussions are not the main issue as I do love her and can overlook her tendency to be overly open. The problem is she has proven to be untrustworthy and she is planning to move away for college in the fall so I don't know if I can honestly trust her when she is away for that long. Our relationship will not last very long without this trust and we are both relatively young so maybe this just means our relationship has run its course. I don't know what to do, I still love her but I don't know how we can work this out. TL;DR:

r/cats TITLE: PSA: Cats need dental care, too POST: About 6 months ago, our previous veterinarian told us one of our cats had gingivitis. We had noticed he was chewing on one side of his mouth but didn't pay much attention to it. The gingivitis explained it though! But, after reading a post on Reddit (regrettably, I do not remember where it was) about the dangers of neglecting dental care for cats, I decided to take this kitty to a new vet (we had moved) for a checkup. The prognosis was scary sounding: Kitty had [feline oral (or odontoclastic) resorptive lesions] (FORLs) and would require oral surgery! Our buddy came out of surgery today just fine after having SIX teeth extracted (four molars and two front teeth). This was a pretty expensive procedure but once the vet told me the cat was probably in a lot of pain from the FORLs there wasn't any question we'd get it done. But if you're not in a position to get the procedure, the vet said normally they prescribe pain medication until the surgery is possible. Since cats aren't amenable at all to getting their teeth brushed, the only real option for most people, according to the vet, is to get dental treats for your cat. These are super crunchy and help break up plaque and tartar. They recommended Greenies (sp?) to us, but I'm sure there are many brands. But, whatever brand you buy please stay on top of your cats' dental health! My buddy is only 2.5 years old and already has had to have a significant amount of teeth extracted. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [31/M] asked my girlfriend [27/f] what kind of porn she watches. She freaked out. WTF man? POST: A few days ago I asked my girlfriend what kind of porn she watches, and she got really defensive and freaked out. Obviously I'm not going to force her to tell me if she is uncomfortable sharing, but it's strange because this girl has shared every part of her life with me, even her extreme sexual fantasies (which I'm into as well so there's no judgement there). She's introduced me to her family, shared her dreams and aspirations, detailed her past, and basically shared every single thing with me, most of the time without me asking. So why is this a problem? Why so defensive? It's okay if she has secrets, but her behaviour is odd and very much unlike her which concerns me. She now says she just likes vanilla porn, and that it's not a big deal, but if that's the case then why did she react that way? Why is she still so defensive? I feel like she's hiding something, but I don't want to make assumptions. Unfortunately, I'm starting to have trust issues. None one of this makes any sense because her texts, and our convos are extremely explicit, so it's not she's shy. She has already told me about her extreme fantasies, so what's the big deal? Is she into other things she is not comfortable sharing? Or is there something else going on here that I am missing? I love this girl, and she loves me, but this is creating a trust issue and it sucks because no matter what her fetish is, I would understand, regardless if I wanted to participate in such a thing or not. It's not about her watching porn, and it's not about the content. My problem is that her behaviour is very uncharacteristic and I'm developing trust issues because I don't feel like she is telling me the truth. What do you think reddit? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I've [36M] been cheating on my wife [40F] for the better part of a year, and I know I should end the marriage, but I feel like I can't. POST: We have been married for ten years, March and together for 12 years. I'm 36/m and my wife is 40/f. Things have been rough between us for the last three years, and they don't seem to be getting any better. We have one child together, a 7 year old daughter who is my life and she is the reason I've stayed as long as I have. My wife is a basically good person, but she can be tough to be around. She holds grudges, never forgives, is perpetually disappointing (and in my opinion ungrateful). Its taxing to be with her. So I cheated. Which is very wrong, but its the decision I made. There has been more than 1 affair, but the most serious affair has been going on since last February. The girl (23f) and I met at work, and I was responsible for showing her and a couple other younger workers the ropes. She worked under me very briefly, but she works somewhere else now. Our affair has continued through the job moves and we are more serious than either of us ever thought we wanted to be. I've come close to confessing to my wife and asking for a divorce before, most recently in early December but the timing never feels right. She will make small changes and make me feel like she is changing, or that she really cares about me, and I back off. And then we go back to normal and I jump back into the affair. I'm scared if I end our marriage my wife will hurt herself, or not recover. I'm scared for our daughter and what it means for our relationship. I just need some advice on what to do going forward. Should I try to work it out with my wife or should I pursue a divorce. How will I be able to do what I have to? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I[21] call her[23] back now, or wait? POST: This is a new relationship, just starting. I[21] work with this girl[23] and she's in a different department. We talk every now and then and seem to have some good stuff in common. A few nights ago, I asked her out and got her number. Now I'm ready to call her and set up the time of the date. So I called her, and she didn't pick up. I go to leave a short message, and my phone cuts out. (I have poor signal for calls at my house.) So, my question is if I should call her back today and leave a message, or will it seem too needy? TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: It's not haters gonna hate. It's bullshit callers gonna call bullshit. POST: I am a teller and I see many checks daily, I also run into people who are in Multilevel marketing businesses. I was asked to join many multilevel marketing businesses throughout my life. Primerica, Cutco, Herbalife, Fundamerica, World Financial Group, etc. I always ask the individual who is trying to recruit me the same questions. 1. How much do you make? 2. How long have you been with the company? 3. Why is your commission check for signing up someone $500 for an insurance package? I seem to get the same response after a while. 1. They say they make $80k-100k a year, very low base pay, commission based, presents roughly 1k-2k per month in checks. 2. They have been with the company for a few months, and they love the job. 3. Why does it matter? The checks are legit. This last individual even said they make more than me, and haters gonna hate. I decided not to cash her $1500 commission check when I originally was going to. Red flags all over, and put her check on hold because of all the risky behavior of the individual and the check screamed red flags at me. TL;DR:

r/pettyrevenge TITLE: Don't want to offer your own deal? I'll take 2 please POST: So I'm down in Florida visiting family and I am used to living on a military post so I'm used to showing a military I.D at checkout but I realized I probably shouldn't down here since it wasn't needed (Kind of important later) But anyway to the story~ We had gone to the grocery store and I saw that there was a deal where you would buy one GM cereal and get another free which I though was a good deal. Unfortunately there was only one box of honey nut cheerios but I saw the same size box for less with the normal cheerios so I grabbed that and was on my way. Once I get to the register the man continued to say, and repeated about 6 times before I could speak that he could not do the deal. I asked him why and he said the boxes are different sizes. I looked and he was correct (I think the cheerios boxes was only ever so slightly bigger) which I understood and only asked if it was possible to still honor as the cheerio box was still cheaper then the other one I wanted. He then insulted me by saying "I can't do that are you stupid?" I was going to let it go before he said that but I decided to ask for his manager and I explained the situation and then I asked "Can you at least do a discount at this point for military?" The manager kind of was in shock as there is no military base anywhere close to where I am and told the cashier to give me the deal, plus he threw in an extra box of honey nut cheerios from the back. I enjoyed the look the cashier had as he finished checking out the rest of my stuff. To clarify I am not active duty which is why I didn't want to show my card when he was checking me out originally as I didn't want to take advantage of that when stores only usually do that for active but after he insulted me I just wanted to make him look bad and it worked. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [27F] boyfriend [29M] told me I need to lose weight. Should I be upset? POST: Last night after dinner, my boyfriend of 3 years sat me down and told me he thinks that I should lose weight. He said I've been making some unhealthy choices lately and thinks it would be in my best interest to start limiting what I eat and walking more. I could tell he's been feeling this way for a while, and he took a lot of time to work out how he wanted to tell me. I simply said 'okay' and agreed to start a healthier lifestyle with him. I don't think I'm that overweight. My BMI is a bit higher than it should be, but I'm far from obese. The recent weight gain has come from losing my job and my dad being sick. After our talk (which was more like a lecture, since I didn't say much in response), the hurt started to seep in and I started feeling resentment for him judging me. Is this warranted? He's not the picture of health either - enjoys drinking beer, and has a "dad bod" as people these days call it. He says he'll work on it with me but I still felt a little attacked. I've noticed his eyes lingering on my gut more lately, or him squeezing the extra fat on my arm when we're snuggling. Shouldn't your boyfriend make you feel sexy no matter what? I've always had high body confidence and found myself beautiful. Never has a guy made me question that until now. I love him to pieces and could see myself marrying him and starting a family, which makes this situation worse. It's the one thing he's done that directly hurt me. He just doesn't know I'm feeling hurt yet. How do I address this with him? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [21F] am worried that my boyfriend [21M] has gained weight and that I might be losing my attraction to him. POST: So we have been together for four and a half years now, at the beginning he was really attractive. He did a lot of cycling and although he ate a lot he was a teenager so he didn't gain any weight. However, since we moved to university two years ago he has put on a fair amount of weight, probably around 50/60lbs, I'm not sure exactly but it's noticeable. I think it's that he kept eating as he did when he was younger but stopped cycling/all exercise in general. He did get into lifting weights for a bit but never got past the bulking stage and so kept the weight on when he didn't cut or continue to lift the weights. I'm starting to worry about his health and also that if he gains more weight I'm going to stop finding him attractive. I feel really terrible as it's such a shallow way of thinking, but it's really affecting the way I look at him. His dad is quite overweight and has problems with his joints because of it and I worry that is how my SO will end up. I just need some advice on how to talk to him about it without upsetting him. I've tried suggesting we go to the gym together/lift weights again but he just doesn't seem interested. TL;DR:

r/legaladvice TITLE: [Canada] My landlord keeps coming into my apartment unannounced. POST: Cross post from /r/relationships since someone there said you guys would be able to help. Myself and my two roommates have been living in our house for a little over a year now and we more or less have no problems with our landlord. Since the new year however she has been trying to rent the fourth room in our house so shes been coming over to our house almost every day/every other day unannounced coming down on us about keeping the house clean and not leaving any of our personal items out so it looks presentable when she does a viewing. The house isn't usually messy, just an example, I had a pair of socks near the kitchen table one day after I got off work and she came over a bit later and freaked out about it. We don't normally have a problem with her coming over but there has been one too many days where either me or one of my roommates would be getting out of the shower or something only to find electricians or repair people in our house without our knowledge. That or being woken up at about 8/9 am and being kicked out of our own bedrooms so they can do work, again, without letting us know they are coming over in advance. My roommates are losing their minds about it because we never know if someone is in our house while we are gone and considering how our landlord has been acting lately we really don't want her coming over without telling us first (yesterday one of my roommates came home to find her cleaning our bathroom and moving our things to make it "presentable". A few day prior to that she came over and started to go through our fridge asking who owned what food). Don't get me wrong, I like that she has people to come over to fix things and make sure the house is ok to live in but I don't think it's too much to ask give us some notice besides "Hey, the electrician will be over in 10 minutes, be sure to let him in the house". She's coming over later today to collect rent and I'm really not sure how to approach this to her. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by telling the cleaning lady her coffee is bad. POST: So this happened about 5 minutes ago... Everyday the cleaning lady will put 3 jars of coffee before the management staff gets in the office, as technical support agents most of us here need our morning coffee cup to kick into high gear and do our jobs efficiently, so we love it when Mrs. B makes the coffee since she always makes it stronger than usual, and we're all very happy for that. Introducing Mrs. L, chill girl with happy attitude that sometimes comes in too early and takes the lead into making our morning coffee (a nice touch, but her coffee is so bland that 80% of us don't like it and always feel disappointing when she does come early. And no, she won't make it stronger even if we tell her to). Well, today I got to work and did my job like usual, about two hours in I get my first break and head to our kitchen to grab some coffee but noticed it was particularly shitty today, naturally I just filled half my cup and just tolerated it while I drank my noneffective caffeine fix. Fast forward 4 hours later and Mrs. B comes to clean or desks and take out the trash, etcétera, and she asks me if I had gotten coffee today with a friendly, joyous look on her face. Remembering in my head the coffee had been really bad I just told her "unfortunately yes, it seems L came in early today, it wasn't nearly as good as always", Mrs. B just sad "oh, too bad" and with a downed look on her face she continued cleaning and walked on. A few seconds later my coworker tells me I'm an asshole because Mrs. B made the coffee today, and then I realized I just told her in the face her coffee was pretty crappy and now I feel like an asshole. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [19m] am in love for the second time with with a friend [18f] and it is killing me; can we continue to be friends? POST: Past: I ask a girl to homecoming sophomore year of high school that I really like and my friend knows this. Two months later he dates (long term) her. They get to second base in the back of my car while I am driving. Really hurt me. Then prom my senior year I ask a different girl that I am really into. She isn't interested in me romantically. Never felt like that about anyone. Cried for the first time in years about it. I tell her I can't see her because it hurts too much. I get over it after 3 weeks because my 4 best friends are always hanging out with her. Then the same guy goes and and dates her 2 months later. We hang out all summer. We go to college, they are sorta broken up but not really. One week ago I invite my prom date as a friend to a date at my fraternity. We have a lot of fun. We both get drunk and cuddle. She gets extremely touchy but nothing happens. Present: I realize I that I will always feel that way about her because the person she is. All my friends know that if you hang out with her you are going to have a good time. She is that kind of person. My best friend is currently sorta dating her. They are not sure right now. If I stay friends with her I will try and date her. My friend that dated both of the girls seems like a dick but he really just fell for them. He is one of the nicest guys I know. What do I do? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Do you think that the music you listen to is influenced by the people you associate with? Do you consider this a good or bad thing? POST: In my high school years, I was forced to go to a private school. Most of the kids were black and into the whole "urban music" (hip/hop, pop, rap, ect.) I'm (mainly) Indian, so I guess my parents thought since we all had brown skin, I'd fit right in; I didn't. I basically just listened to what my friends listened to or the popular artists. About the end of Sophomore year, I realized that I didn't like that shit. I like rock/metal music. I love it to be exact. I completely shut myself off from urban music and started listening to what I wanted. But now I hardly have anyone to share songs with and what I listen to is now just a sample of all different kinds of artists. No one influences what I listen to and I'm kind of everywhere. I think it's awesome. Hopefully going to college can connect me with similar people TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [25F] with my boyfriend [28 M] of 2 years. I feel like I'm being placed on the back burner, and it's causing me to be a horrid neurotic mess. POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for just over two years now and I feel like I'm being placed on the back burner. Most of his friends are out of town and he doesn't go out much but he has a couple of projects on the go (boat and a car). I know that everyone needs their own thing and have time to themselves and his projects are fine. What concerns me the most is how his face is almost surgically attached to his phone when he's not working on his somewhat time consuming projects. Ladies (and gentleman) I'm sure you can relate with me a little on this one. Dinner dates with friends, or just us, the phone is out. We both come home from work, he's off with his phone in the other room. I can seem to get any alone time with just him to go and do something fun or silly. I've had some issues from my past (extreme bullying and that big lovely R word that rhymes with tape). I went to therapy, and all that exciting stuff because I wasn't going to make it if I didn't. I've over come some of my worst insecurities but not all of them, So naturally I can't help but think that he's checking out the playing field. I usually end up ruining our time that we (eventually) get to spend together because I ask him a million questions on who he's actually talking to etc. and stress myself out to the point where I'm sick to my stomach. I beat myself up for it and think that I'm an awful person for feeling this way, and ask myself "why would he want to be with you anyway? You're a horrible neurotic mess." I love him and I can't imagine my life without him in it. I don't want to beat myself up anymore. Any suggestions on how to patch this up without sending him or I off the deep end? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [22 M] for 1 year, When do you know if a relationship is right or wrong? POST: This is my second real relationship. My first one was my highschool sweetheart and pretty much emotionally/verbally abusive. So, I have very little good examples to compare to. I have some moments when I think my boyfriend is great, possibly someone I can be with in the future. But there are some days where I doubt his love. When do these days occur? It is like a cycle. We have a few, amazing days. But he snaps quickly. If he feels like I disrespected him in some way, he will say I am being an asshole and to go screw myself (This occured when I told him not to lay on me because my stomach was hurting). If he feels I am being 'rude' he would hang up the phone on me and to get over myself and that I should be embarrased. I have some trust issues with him. About 6 months in our relationship I found out he was talking to other females. I confronted him, preparing to end it, but he was basically on his hands and knees begging me to forgive him and how he only wants to be with me. He still texts a lot and most of his friends are female. I have met some. Some I have not. I am not sure if I am just being insecure and this is just innocence or this is my instincts screaming at me. I have at least 3 dreams a week of him cheating on me. When do I know if this is a wrong relationship? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [20's] will be starting second year university in another country, but I'm still in high school [17] - how do I talk about this with him? POST: We've only been going out for a month, but I really like him. And he says he really likes me too. We have honest-to-goodness mutual respect and trust for each other, and I can truthfully say I would trust him with my life. I doubt an "I love you" from either of us is far away. He has told me before that he wouldn't let somebody he cares about so much slip out of his life, but long distance relationships are hard, and I don't want to lose him. He's going to Penn State after the summer, and I'm stuck here in Alberta finishing my last year of high school, after which I will hopefully be going to UBCO (so tack on more distance). I just don't know how to bring this up to him. I don't want to seem clingy, and I don't want him to think I'm trying to keep him from being successful. But I really really do not want to be without him for a year. I know he wouldn't cheat on me so I'm not worried about that. But we have a very intimate and close relationship. We are touching each other every chance we get. We cuddle for hours. We talk non-stop when we're together.. I'm going to miss that intimacy so much. It's just a newborn relationship, but it makes me so sad to think about what might happen to us. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] of 2years. Should I be worried about a long distance relationship and how he's acting? POST: Me and my BF have been together 2 years. We met whilst at uni and now that we've finished he's moved back home to Ireland. He keeps lying about the simplest of things, he barely texts me and keeps making excuses about not coming over to visit. Also I said I was going to go over for his Birthday next month and stay in a hotel because I think Birthdays are a big deal. But he started having a go at me, making me feel guilty about wanting to see him and then he even tried the 'fine, do whatever you want' line. I love him to pieces and previously I've asked him if he wants to go on a break or break up entirely but he still says he wants to be with me. I don't know what to do or think. But I really don't think he's the kind of guy who would cheat so does anyone know why a guy who doesn't want to break up with me is acting so strange? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [M25] Losing my Wife/Best Friend [F25] to our new love [3.5m] POST: I feel selfish, and I feel unhappy. My wife is my best friend, we have been together 3 years and there is nobody else in the world I would rather be with, we complement each other very well and I would say we are as good at communicating with each other through even the hardest of things without a problem. Our daughter was born just over 3 months ago and we love her to death. Oh man, we love her so much. Here is the problem, 1.5 months ago I went from working 2 days a week and spending all my time with them to working 50+ hours a week with a 1 hour commute both ways (I drive the whole thing). As you can imagine this leaves me beyond exhausted by the time I get home. I have maybe 3 hours with them during the day before I have to go to bed. (We found a new apartment that is literally less than a mile from work and are moving next month so that will help tremendously) My wife is a stay at home mom (this was decided together as we both agreed it would be best for our daughter). So, now I get home and I am tired. And all I can imagine is she is exhausted from taking car of the baby all day which makes sense. But, that leaves so little energy to put into each other. I use to give her massages all the time that would lead to more intimate things but, I just don't have the energy in me after work. And to make matters worse, the few times I do try our daughter ends up crying and it all falls apart. Leaving my wife feeling un-relaxed and me feeling alone while my wife is focused on our daughter again. What do we do? I miss when I got home and she could get up and hug me and we kissed and it would lead to more. Now I open the door and she is on the couch breastfeeding. She is doing nothing wrong, when we spoke last night she said she is doing alright so I know this is mostly on my end and I need to get my head straight. I just miss smiling without even trying. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [23/F] was raped and found out later I contracted herpes (Type II) for my attacker. It's a sensitive subject so I'm not sure how soon I should share with potential love-interests or how even. Advice? POST: I was raped several years ago and found out months after the attack that I had type II herpes. I was devastated at first but after a lot of research, I learned it's really not that big of a deal. It is what it is and I will have this for the rest of my life - I'm ok with that now. But I haven't dated anyone or slept with anyone in all that time and I'm starting to want to get out and meet new people and date but I'm really nervous of this being a huge deal-breaker for anyone to love me. How do I tell him, whoever he may be, what happened to me and that I have genital herpes? And how soon should I tell him? I'm not really comfortable with telling on the first date. I just need some advice on how to deal with this. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: How can you love someone so dearly and hate them so much at the same time? POST: Sorry Reddit, I'm a fucking mess right now and I might punch my cat in the face if I don't project my anger out somehow.. and I love my cat so here it goes.. How can I love this girl so much, but FEEL so much resentment at the same time? I have every reason in the world to hate her but I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER! and if your first thought it "oh well *derp*, just stop talking to her." Well, dumb shit I dont want to FORGET about her, I just want her back (que 500 Days of Summer quotes, a.k.a the only "romance" movie I can relate to.. and it turns out to be horribly depressing for a guy like me) and here's a good follow-up question.. HOW THE HELL CAN MUSIC MAKE YOU SO FUCKING DEPRESSED? Jet, seriously? "Look What You've Done".. made me cry, thanks a' fucking lot. That and "Killing Me Softly" by Roberta Flack, FUCK. Anyways, down vote it, exert your Reddit pretentiousness over me, whatever. I need a scapegoat and Reddits all I got sometimes.. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Our [14M&16F] sister [22F] keeps getting skinnier and skinnier. She looks like a walking skeleton and no one is listening to us that this is bad. POST: Hi this is Brit talking and my brother max is with me. Our sister Jade is beyond skinny, like it's actually getting to the point where you can see almost all of her bones properly. She's not normal weight like you or I. Type in anorexic on google and she looks so close to some of the pictures that come up. We have spoken to her about this and she's told us to shut up, we're only kids what do we know. She is so tiny. my brother max has more meat on his bones than she does. Our parents and friends think this is OK and tell her she looks beautiful. Brutally honest she did, she did look beautiful but something happened and she dropped a massive ton of weight. She looks so frail We both feel like we are losing our minds because we are trying to tell people that this is a problem. Is there anything we can do? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: reddit, what is your favorite thing to do with a group of friends around a table? POST: Once again reddit, I seek your aid. My friends and I are kind of at a stalemate. Not so much that we are bored with one another, but ever since I moved into my new flat all we seem to do is gather around the dining table. I personally have no problem with this because it is like the old days and give us time to fellowship and just catch up with one another. We typically just gather around, eat supper, and occasionally (and my favorite) have a beer sampling from either homebrews or craft purchases. We are at the age ranges of 18-28 and all have similiar intrests, we have tried drinking games (very few, but was my favorite thus far), card games, and the like. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Wife [32 F] told me [32 M] about her six-month affair with work colleague - need to hash it out. POST: This weekend my wife told me about her 6-month affair with a work colleague. A week prior to this she had been extremely emotional and apologetic and told me that her friendship with this dude was not appropriate. She said she had approached a psychologist to work through her issues and emphasised how sorry she was. I initially decided to give her some space and did not press for details on what was bothering her. When I eventually did quiz her and ask what the exact nature of the friendship, did she divulge the details of the affair. It's now three days later and am obviously hurt, angry and confused. We have two kids (9 and 5) and have just recently purchased a house together (typical). I still love her and the amount of remorse and sorrow she has shown tells me that she still loves me too. We moved cities at the beginning of last year and at some point with her new job, my workload and her lack of friends my wife become incredibly lonely. She had made friends initially with this guy and then he started flirting with her. I am told things just went from there and despite her guilt and disgust with her she could not break it off despite wanting to and telling this guy as much on several occasions. Things were finally stopped when the dude's wife started getting suspicious about their "Friendship" and the emotional toll of it all overwhelmed my wife. She said she had realised she had become the kind of person she despised and what she had done was against all her morals and character. At this point I think I will be prepared to forgive her and work through this to rebuild our marriage. I have not spoken to anyone personally about this as yet because frankly it's humiliating. I have thus turned to you internet strangers for your thoughts and suggestions. Am I crazy for wanting to stay together? What essential things should I be doing before I make a decision to stay and make it work or just cut the cord? TL;DR:

r/loseit TITLE: 25 M - 2 Month Progress Pics - No idea what I have lost! POST: Hi all, Before I begin I just want to thank this community. If were not for loseit I do not think I would have even started this life changing journey. You are all inspirations to me, including those just starting out. As many of you can relate, I have always been overweight. My junior year of high school I was up to about 215 LBs (I am 5'11''). By the end of my senior year I was down to 163 LBs. My social life and confidence were at an all time high. For the next couple of years I hovered around 175 and it seemed to be sticked. Some things changed in my life when I was about 21 or 22, I went into a depression and had ballooned up to what you see in the first picture. After reading this subreddit I decided it was time to make a change. I began counting calories using my fitness pal. For the first month I went at it REALLY hard (900-1200 calories a day). This second month I have been eating 1200-1600 calories a day and have been a bit more lenient. Rather than weigh myself every week or so, I decided to take pictures so that I could SEE the difference and not be discouraged by numbers I see on a scale. This has been proven successful for me personally. Looking at my Day 1 Photo is all the motivation I need not to go on a binge. Another reason I have not weighed myself is that I was scared to see exactly how much weight I have been on. If this does not demonstrate denial I am not sure what does. By the end of March I plan to incorporate exercise cardio + light weights into my regiment, and it is my goal that in 2 more months I will be somewhat happy with my appearance just in time for beach season. So here are the progress pics how much would you guess that I have lost? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My GF (17F) of 3 months broke up with me (18M), and I have a decision to make. POST: I was in a pretty healthy relationship, and I was actually really satisfied with how things were going. She however didn't feel completely happy because I was too confident for her and it made her feel self-conscious. We're now just over a month down the line of the break up and there's this girl that I know that absolutely wants to sleep with me (we've had a lot of contact before and I already decided then that she was not girlfriend material), it's just that I feel that if I go through with this and she finds out (this girl is a friend of hers), she herself will also lose all her self control and end up in bed with some random guy, and I still care about her too much to handle that. I'm stuck because I do feel lonely and I sure wouldn't mind the company of the "I'll sleep with you"-girl, but I wouldn't want her to lose her self control or even that people think I am a total douche for sleeping with her, since I am considered a pretty nice and trust-able guy by most. Should I take up on the offer and if no, do you have any tips for what I should do to ease the loneliness? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My BIL (25m) and his GF (23f) of one year are trying for a baby but BIL told my husband he doesn't want a kid. POST: Ok so better explanation. My BIL and his GF have been together for a year and two months. Three months ago she told me that she stopped taking her birth control because they had decided they wanted to have a child together. I was excited for them because I have a 9 month old and it would be awesome for her to have a cousin close in age to play with. BIL seemed slightly reserved but I figured it was just because he didn't want us (husband and I) to tell his parents because they're not married. Well yesterday my husband spoke with my BIL on the phone and the topic of children came up and BIL told my husband he didn't want to have a kid right now and was worried about money, the crying, sleepless nights, diaper changes and basically everything that goes with having a child. When my husband asked him why he didn't tell GF that, he said that he didn't want to upset her and that he was afraid she'd leave him. Now my first reaction to this is that they're both adults and I should leave it to them to work it out and make their own choices. However, seeing as I'm still new to this whole parenting thing I know how stressful it can be when you have your first child and I had my husbands full support. I can't say what my BIL's reaction would be if he decides after the fact that it's too much work and he doesn't want to deal with it but I can tell you that he's not ambitious, doesn't like confrontation and would rather walk away from you than continue a discussion that isn't going his way. It makes me fear him just leaving her alone with this baby. I don't feel like I'm explaining this very well but I need advice. Should I leave it alone and let the chips fall where they may or should I talk to her and tell her that BIL isn't as ready as she is. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [23F] roommate [22F] started dating a guy [32M] and he's been staying at our apartment every night this past week. POST: I work full time and I'm in grad school full time, so my home time is calming, despite how limited it is. However, my roommate started dating this guy **3 weeks ago** and only asked once (not even this week) if he could crash at our place over night. It's a small apartment - just the two of us - so it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable He's a stranger to me and there's only been one time I've been home in the last week that he wasn't already at our apartment. I feel like I'm constantly third-wheeling and I don't feel comfortable being in my apartment while he's here because I don't know him at ALL. Part of the reason he's here all the time might be because I'm so busy and I'm either at work, at class, or at yoga, but I really shouldn't feel anxious coming home because I don't know who is going to be there. And apparently they're always here because he's married in a green card marriage and he lives with his wife. (Which I guess isn't my place to judge, but it's part of the bigger issue.) I'm trying to figure out how to talk to her about it, but she is extremely easily offended and will be pissed no matter how I approach it. I've already texted her one day asking if he was going to be there because I had a lot of work to get done, to which she responded, "I'm not sure if he's planning on coming over later..." Help? I guess I'm wondering if my feelings are justified or if I'm blowing up the issue to what it shouldn't be. Any ideas on how to approach this without coming off bitchy or in a way that she can't frame it like it's my fault for being uncomfortable (which she's likely to do)? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Afraid I [M/24] won't be able to make friends in a relationship POST: I had a relationship a few years ago, it went decent, bt I never really had the opportunity to make friends during this relatinoship. Mostly because of a mix of already having good friends, spending time with the girlfriend, some jealousy on her part if I hung out with a girl one-on-one. After that relationship ended, I started dating a bunch of people. And I loved it. A lot of the girls I dated didn't turn out to be anything too serious romantically, but I made a bunch of new friends through it, and it was great learning new people. I felt that because I was dating those girls, they actually put in the effort to open up and also to get to know me, which made it easier to get close to them and become friends. I started noticing that most of my friends actually were a girls I dated, or where there at least was some prior romantic interest. Now I moved to a new country, and I met a great girl already, and it is getting pretty serious, but I haven't really made that many friends yet in this city. More like none at all that I actually like. I have tried finding new friends just through work and classes, but with none of them I actually reach that deeper connection. I feel like they know it's just going to be a friendship and thus don't feel the need to really build a more emotionally deep connection. They already have enough friends, so why put in the effort? So how do you do it? I want to be in a relationship with this new girl I met, and I definitely don't want to cheat or anything like that by going on dates with other girls, but so far I have not been able to actually find strong connections. And dating girls has always been my main way of making new friends. TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: My little brother POST: My little brother is the type of person to Go into a room, some how use ALL the electronic devices and not turn of any of them when he leaves Leave his wet clothes from swimming in the tub rather than hanging them to dry Take a shit and instead of facing the possible clogging, leave it for the next person to handle so it smells And that was just tonight He also has to comprehension of table manners, I'm talking smacking like a cow, using a fork he dropped on the ground, eating with his hands, talking with food in his mouth, all of that a public restaurant. He also throws the biggest fits when you say no At 15 years old still doesn't comprehend that *No, you can't use your mothers phone, it needs to remain charged so people can contact her, you have a phone so you can check Facebook on it, not hers.* He doesn't understand that you can in fact let you mother go somewhere alone And not to mention his inability to ever go to a grocery store or gas station without demanding $10 of stuff for himself when money is already tight. He's gonna have a bright future as a semi-high school freshman drop out. But it's okay, he'll have an aspiring career as a mobile DJ because listening to music with earphones is nonsense, no, he needs to blast in where ever he goes, stores and all, everyone must listen to his ghetto rap music and blast it on shitty speakers when we drive. Top notch guy. Please die you little shit. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [20m] I met a girl [19f] on a dating site who's almost a perfect match, but she just wants a hookup right now where as I am more inclined to build an actual relationship. Advice? POST: I've been speaking with a girl on a dating site recently, and in the beginning we simply had talked about our interests and the like and found out we were pretty much carbon copies of each other. I'm really into her. Problem was, at one point she just completely dropped off the face of the earth for a few months, not even going on the site at all. In a way, I had sorta forgotten about her. Had gone on dates with a few other girls who were nice but just didn't click. Then, two days ago out of the blue, she asked me if I wanted to chat again, which we've been doing. And then today, after asking if she was ready to go out, she said she's only really into hooking up right now, and then possibly seeing how it works out afterwards, possibly taking a relationship further. I myself am the kinda guy that just wants a long term relationship, and she seems like a great girl. Fact of the matter is that I'm now unsure of what I want. I've never had a "hookup" before and to be honest, I'm unsure of what to do. My cock says yes, my brain says is unsure, and my heart is somewhere in the middle of the two. Not even sure if this is the right sub, but any advice as to what I should do? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Lady up the street likes to do U-turns in my yard when she thinks we aren't looking, what should I do? POST: So the other day I was sitting in my living room on my laptop and I happen to see lights outside my living room window. Well my living room window faces a road that is parallel to it so I went outside to investigate. Some lady from two houses down from me was just pulling into her driveway and there are no other cars around. Before I spoke to her I went and checked my yard to see car tracks (my grass had just been cut that day). I am raging at this point but allow myself to calm down before I go over there. After I calm down I walk over there and ring the doorbell and when she answers the door I politely ask her to not drive on my yard to which she replies "Oh I wasn't driving on your yard, I was only on the sidewalk" and when I point out the fact of the tracks she just repeats herself in a smart ass way which made me angry so I just pointed out the tracks again to which she starts yelling. After about a minute of her yelling and me trying to keep my composure she turns around and slams the door in my face and to this I lose it and say "Bye bitch!" She turns around and is more fiery than ever and shes yelling cuss words and threatening me by "someone bigger than me". At this point I don't care and just wave and part with a fond "fuck you". This may have made this worse and I know I was in the wrong at that point, I just lost my composure and this lady was suuuuuuuch a bitch. Is there anything I can do to keep her from driving in my yard without having to put up a fence? Which is not allowed in my neighborhood for some reason. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: [24/F] Two years after last seeing him, I feel the need to contact an ex-friend [24/M] for closure. POST: 5 years ago I met and became very good friends with a guy I'll call Carter. 4 years ago I became embroiled in a love triangle of sorts with Carter and my best girl-friend, Nina. (Possibly relevant that Carter met Nina through me.) The situation ends with Carter and Nina in a shaky romantic relationship, and me maintaining a friendship with both. I play the supportive friend to both and help out when asked. Unfortunately, Carter treats Nina terribly (ignoring her, not keeping dates, cheating on her), though they stay together for several years. 3 years ago Carter started treating *me* badly, ignoring me and our planned hangout sessions. Combined with his treatment of Nina, I become fed up and decide to keep our contact to a bare minimum. I haven't spoken to him at all for nearly two years. 3 months ago Carter and Nina broke up for the final time; at least, I hope for the final time. Nina got her closure last weekend when she confronted Carter face-to-face and essentially yelled at him for an hour. Me being Nina's best friend and having had a front-row seat to the relationship, she had naturally been venting to me. This last round of discussions has made me exhausted, and now I feel the need to contact Carter to get closure on my own relationship with him. Given that I haven't talked to him in years and that he had just dealt with another emotional female, how crazy or inappropriate would contacting him be? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Something is *seriously* wrong with my pets.. POST: So we had a boy cat named Cerberus and we have a girl cat named P.J. Cerberus would constantly hold P.J. down against her will and rape her and *spray* on her back. ALL THE TIME. So we got rid of him because he was *spraying* everywhere and ruining furniture. We also have a female **DOG** named Shadow. Once we got rid of Cerberus, Shadow started raping P.J. a lot! It's really messed up because Shadow will hold P.J. down with her paws and just hump her. Even though they're both female! I just feel so bad for P.J. She's a rape victim that's ALWAYS getting raped! Is this normal?! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [21F] am ambitious, my husband [22M] of two-year relationship is not. Why would someone be unambitious? POST: We are young to be married, I know, but in our culture we are actually quite old to be just married (3 months). Most of my [21F] female friends are married with children already, but as I said I am ambitious and we (me + husband [22M]) are waiting until our thirties to have a child. I've just worked out that my husband is not ambitious. I guess I kind of saw the signs when we were dating, but the concept of being fine with doing the same job every day was so hard for me to get, that I did not see it until now. Husband and I went to university for the same field, and he got a job offer yesterday that seemed to be perfect (from my perspective). He declined the job. He's been working odd jobs to help support us as I finish my final year of schooling, so I thought a job in his field of study would be a no-brainer. We had an argument that night; I could not understand why he didn't want this job in his field, while he did not want the job because the job position was not something he would want to do for 20 years. I am the type of person who will get a job expecting to move on from it in a few years. He is the type of person who wants to find a place where he will not have to move for 20 years. The job offer in question wasn't in the nature of an entry-level job, it was just with an organization that he did not want to stay with for 20 years. I told him that getting the job would just be a step towards the organization he really wanted to be with, but he said that he wants to find the place where he will be happy working there for 20 years. My husband is very supportive of my career goals. I just don't understand how he cannot be ambitious. Can anyone else give me insight on why someone may not be ambitious, and how I can understand my husband better? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, how to inspire and get a friend to quit smoking? POST: Dear Reddit, have any of you successfully helped a friend to quit smoking? my friend is a beautiful, intelligent girl in her mid twenties. I am a colleague and friends of hers. She smokes almost 6-10 cigarettes a day. It seems to have started to affect her looks as her lips and teeth have become grey. Also, she has a smoker girl image in our group and team which is not a good thing in this part of the world. She also has other health issues which I'm not sure are caused by smoking. She has told me she want to quit and would like friends like me to force her to stop. She even said that she would quit if the world didn't end on the 21st. But tonight after dinner she smoked a packet of cigarettes with another common friend of ours who finished another packet. Please help me reddit to get this good friend of mine to have a good and healthy lifestyle... TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [20 M] with my mom [50 F], has been diagnosed with an incurable disease which will cause daily pain. I take satisfaction for her suffering. Is something wrong with me? POST: My mother, when I was younger, was emotionally unstable, abusive, and singled me out for venting her frustration. I have spent years mulling over the things she did and tried to work through it in the past, eventually, went limited contact for two years, and then no contact for a year after that. Well, I wanted a relationship with my little brother who is still in highschool, and a relationships with my stepfather, so I called them up, and we moved forward without dwelling on the past too much. I've been able to repair my relationships with everyone but her. I know that she now cares about me and she's tried getting close to me since I've left the house, but the scars are still sore. Well, recently, I found out she has contracted a major chronic disease and when I heard it, the most I could do was say sorry to her for hearing it. Meanwhile in my mind, the thoughts and feelings canned back, which I thought were gone, of hatred, albeit diminished. Am I a sociopath or something? I want her to feel like I love her in a genuine way. How can I do that, with these negative feelings still there? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Ex-boyfriend [22 M] that I [21 F] dated for 3.5 years recently got new girlfriend, now says I can't see dogs anymore POST: My ex-boyfriend "John" and I dated for over 3 years. Him and I made a mutual decision to end our relationship in November of last year. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by holding a fart in too long POST: So this happened just a few minutes ago and I'm able to write this out before class starts. I'm currently in college and halfway through my schedule I have a three hour long break where I usually chill in the library and try to study/do homework and instead sit on reddit. Well today was different. Halfway through my three hour long break I start to feel a fart come on and since I'm in a room with a ton of people I decide to just hold it and wait till I get to the IT building where my next class is. The problem is it keeps building. I keep getting the rumblies and just clench my iron cheeks together as hard as possible to not let any leakage occur. Thirty minutes before my next class I decide to leave so I can get to the IT building before people start to leave class and snag the bathroom while it's empty. So I head to the third floor(top) and somehow manage to make it to the bathroom and this huge nerdy dude is just standing there washing his hands. I head to the urinal and just try to bide my time AND HE DOESNT LEAVE! So I just say screw it and head to the stall. I immediately drop my pants and instantly a hailstorm of feces fly into the toilet and the sound could only be described as somebody throwing paint onto a wall and the deepest sound of an elephant yelling. The smell I don't want to talk about, it was awful. Instantly the kid turns and looks directly at my stall and says "WTF!?" and finally runs out of the bathroom. I finally finish up and feeling 10 times better make it to class. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [23F] live-in boyfriend [23 M] spends $200 a month on porn. POST: So my boyfriend and I have had sexual problems our entire relationship (3 yrs, now living together). Despite our little problem, we have a wonderful relationship and I truly love him. I have had happy, healthy, sexual relationships with a a few people so naturally I want the same with him. The problems are almost entirely on his end (can't get aroused, just all around not interested), and I am an attractive girl and I have tried *everything.* So I was innocently opening up a document on the preview program on his computer and I accidentally closed it, so I went to re-open it and see tons of porn pictures in his recent files. I was just *innocently* curious (I watch porn too, but it's not something we really share together) and I see it's hundreds of screenshots from pregnant women cam sites. And then dozens of folders of different sessions. He has no cookie cutter porn... Just pregnant women. I do a little more not-so-innocent snooping because he has never shared this fetish with me and the amount of pictures is shocking. I look through his email and find he has been spending $200/month to visit these pregnant cam sites, whereas I spend $0 on porn. It's not a necessity I file into my monthly expenses. He is a very frugal person, so this shows me that it's important to him. So important that he can't "get off" with free porn, but needs contact with an actual pregnant woman in real time. All of our sexual problems suddenly make sense, but I'm scared to talk with him about this. I was snooping around and found something I shouldn't have. But we need to talk about this, because excessive porn consumption seems to be leaving him completely and utterly disinterested in me. Not only that, but it's an outrageous cost to pay $1200 a year just to get off. How do I approach him? What does this mean about possibly "fixing" our sex lives? Or will simply having a strong fetish I cannot possibly deliver leave things forever broken? TL;DR:

r/running TITLE: Tips for running through a period of depression? POST: I've struggled with periods of depression throughout my life, and usually just binge on movies until it passes (1-2 months on average), forego exercise, and limit my interactions with others. Unfortunately, I'm a teacher now and on top of that, am training for a marathon in January. The problem is, I can barely motivate myself to show up for work in the morning, much less do any workouts - running or otherwise. Does anyone have tips on ways I can help push myself through this? Telling myself I'll feel better after my run is the obvious choice, but isn't going to work. I gained about 15lbs over the summer (thanks, American food and beer!) and even a mile is going to be a struggle until some of this weight comes off. I'm also living on a compound in a fairly dangerous country so running groups are not an option TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I'm (19/M) so isolated and lonely. Why can't I find a girl who is somewhat into me? POST: Had a breakup after a 4 year relationship back in March. I felt like crap so i decided to lose weight to improve my image. I've lost almost 50 pounds since then and I honestly look great. Went from 220 to almost 170. Im in my 2nd year of college and I was excited to meet new girls and see what is out there. I consider myself a mature and intelligent guy for my age. I'm a communications/journalism major and I am very well spoken. I've met a few girls over the past few months but I can't seem to get any to stick, and I just can't figure out why. It's not that I want a serious relationship, but having someone to text or talk to would be nice. To make matters even more weird, a gay guy I met has been the only person to show interest in me lately; I politely declined. I am in a situation where I am alone with no friends and really nobody but myself and my parents (who I have a hard time venting to) and its starting to take a toll on me. What should I do? I have gotten girls' numbers at school but they don't text me after the first or second message. What gives? How do I cope with this situation/is there something I could do differently? Thanks a bunch and I'll get back to your questions/answers ASAP. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [24 M] finally blocked my ex on Facebook [24/F]. Need reassurance POST: Me and my gf of 2 1/2 years broke up our long distance relationship (was long distance for last 5 months of relationship) about a month ago. I went NC and was in a lot of denial. I realized recently that I still love her. We broke NC once. One sentence to let her know my friend is picking up my stuff..nothing more...nothing less. She broke up with me because long distance was getting to both of us and she did not move because she did not know what she wanted out a career and was scared to move. She told me she wanted to be alone to figure this out. We had a solid and great relationship. I sometimes regret not putting my all in all of the time. I was never a bad BF..but I feel now I could of done much more. She is the nicest person I have ever met. I still miss her sometimes and I realized I would look at her FB and that I was subconsciously doing things to make her notice on FB. I decided in order for me to move on, that I should block her...for my health and for hers. It was the hardest thing I have done. It was hard to block such a caring and nice person...I just want reassurance I am not an asshole. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by wearing the wrong socks and walking down the stairs POST: Ok so this didn't happen today, it actually happened a few Christmases ago. Some background - I was wearing these really corny Christmas socks which were really slippery for some reason It was about mid afternoon and we were getting ready to eat when my mum asked me to get some extra plates from upstairs in the loft. I go and up and they are all it a huge box. I didn't know how many she needed so decided to bring the whole box down. After I had got down from the loft, I picked up the box and proceeded down the stairs wearing my slippery christmas socks and instead carefully taking it step by step, I thought it would be clever to carry it in front of my face and walk straight down. I couldn't see anything because the box was so big and about half way down the stairs, I began slipping. I almost regained my balance but started running/slipping down t he stairs until I got to the bottom, dropped the box(smashing the plates and smacked my face into the radiator, breaking my front tooth. Since it was Christmas, nothing was open so I couldn't get it fixed until a later date. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by trying to show off on a dirt bike POST: Obliged to say that this happened almost three years ago, but wasn't in touch with the hivemind then so posting it now. Was at a farm with a few friends ripping it up on dirt bikes and quad bikes. Now, there were a few cute girls around, and I was a hormonal 15 year old so wasn't exactly thinking with my brain. After doing a jump or two on a dirt pile I thought I'd floor it over a larger dirt pile and get some serious air time. One crucial thing regarding dirt bikes is that you need to pull back a lot while jumping lest the front tire hit the ground first resulting in the rider eating out Mother Nature. As I was about to launch off the dirt pile my front wheel sunk in a considerable amount. It was then that I realised that what I considered to be a dirt pile hitherto was in fact a pile of soft, unpact mushroom compost so instead of flying straight up I sailed through the air with the nose of the bike leaning significantly far foward. Can't remember what happened during that air time, or the fall, but I remember lying on the ground with my dirt bike on top of me, assume I had sailed off the front and got my head buried in the dirt. At least I had my helmet on right. So I stand up, walk over to my friends that are all running in my direction. My best mate asks me if I'm okay and I reply with "yeh sure just slightly winded". It was then I realised I had utterly no control over my wrist. Intense pain floods through my arm so I hobbled over to the nearest car and lean on the bonnet. Something was off with my reflection, upon closer inspection I discovered that I was in fact missing my front two teeth. In short, I was rushed to hospital whereupon I discovered that I'd broken my wrist in two places as well as dislocated it, the bottom half of my two front teeth were also smashed off, the nerves were exposed which resulted in excruciating pain till the following day during which they were repaired. But I did end up getting morphine so 10/10 would break again TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: How do I stop comparing my [20F] relationship to current bf [20M, 1 month] with ex [22M, 4 years]? POST: In short, there were things within my relationship with my ex that I guess I've now considered normal, such as texting throughout the day, having long and deep conversations about random issues/things, listening to him telling me about his day and what he did etc. In my current relationship, I already know I love him and he loves me. We click on a lot of levels and we spend copious amounts of time together, watching tv, playing games, hanging out with friends etc. However, he is a self-admitted bad communicator. We've discussed this and I've asked him to try to communicate more. I'd love to discuss hypotheticals (my ex wasn't fond of this either) and for him to tell me even the smallest details (e.g. I played a game of GTA 5 and I gunned down these two guys blah blah). He says that he's just not that type of person who focuses on the little details or who needs to always be talking. He is content with being around me and being in my presence. I'm someone who would love to share every little bit of detail about my life with him so I do feel a little bummed that he shares so little due to the fact that he doesn't feel the need to. Sure, I love spending time with him and just sitting in the same room as him is amazing but I'd also like to be able to talk about ... things. Is there anything I/we can do? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: People whose parents cheated: how were you able to reconcile with the past? POST: This is difficult for me. I feel really embarrassed posting this, but I don't have anyone to talk to. I guess I'm looking to get some advice from others who have been through something similar. When I was 15 (I'm 17 now), my parents separated and my dad moved out. I found out shortly after this that my dad had a sexual addiction and had been cheating on my mother with tons of women. Most of them were prostitutes, but he also had a 20 year old girlfriend (he was 40 at the time). Obviously, I was extremely furious, outraged, disgusted, and many other things. I sincerely hated him. I hated him for what he did to my mother. I thought he was despicable for, evidently, not having any self-control. I didn't speak to him at all for almost a year. My father and I had a very bad relationship before this happened. I had pretty bad anger issues as a young child (I'm talking 3-7, maybe). According to my mom, I usually lashed out at him, and he took it personally. I honestly cannot remember very much of that period of my life, but I don't doubt what she says. I haven't had anger issues since then. Things were very bitter and tense between us. We didn't speak to each other unless it was necessary. Also, his emotionally abusive father abandoned his family when he was maybe 12 or 13. I don't think that he really knew how to be a dad, so to speak. My parents got back together about a year after they separated. My dad moved back in and started going to essentially a 12-step program, I think. Since this, no one in my family has ever talked about what my father did. Things went back to normal, with one exception: my dad and I actually have a relationship now. I talk to him, joke with him, go to games with him. Lately, though, I've been remembering what he did and what he put our family through. I am remembering my mother weeping and staying in bed for days, my little sister's fear, and my deep anger. I can't get it out of my head. I feel like I'm sabotaging our newfound relationship. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 2 months. I'm having a really hard time telling my parents POST: So I've been seeing this girl I really like for 2ish months now, it's going well, however I'm having a hard time telling my parents. My parents are supportive and I think they'll be happy for me, however as I said i'm having a hard time telling them, I think it's mainly because of my brother [23M] he's really quite depressed at the moment, and he's never had a girlfriend. I don't want to sound like a dick, however throughout my life, I have scored better than him in tests/AS levels. He failed his AS levels and dropped out of school, whereas I passed them and am hoping to go to university next year. All this has made be feel is really bad about it all, and I feel that if i get a girlfriend before him as well, it might push him over the edge. I have invited her round in about 2 weeks to set myself a deadline, so I better tell my parents by then. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [18F] am confused about a college hookup with [18M] (x-post from r/relationships) POST: I met this guy who lives in my dorm on Friday and we spent most of the weekend drinking and studying together. At one point we hooked up (only to 3rd base), and we continued hanging out with mutual friends/alone for the next two days with no mention to the hookup until last night. He said that he wanted to do it again, but I am not interested in a FWB thing, and I have no idea what he wants. I told him that he should think about what he wants and that I would do the same and that we'd talk later, but we talked today (to be fair it was on a bus) and there was no mention of it. I don't think our mutual friends have any idea what has happened. However, I do realize that I hooked up with a guy I met the day before and that I probably screwed things up from the get-go. I was kind of drunk and he was really hot, please don't judge, and I've never done anything like this before. After spending quite a bit of (platonic) time with him and texting him a lot, it turns out I kind of like him. But as hot and nice as he may be, I only want to have relations with someone who really likes me. I don't know if I mean a relationship, but definitely something more than a fuck buddy. I also realize that it would make this a lot easier if I actually knew what I wanted. I do think that he is into me, but I really don't know what he wants at all. Obviously I don't want to force anything. Basically what I'm asking is that even though this whole thing started as a hookup, can I set it on a more meaningful track? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [18F] dated a guy[19 M] for 3 years and we broke up. Still hungout and talked about being in love/getting back together. He just ended things and told friends he's been just using me for sex. How do I stop feeling like life sucks? POST: I dated a guy I met in my sophomore year of high school. He was a senior. We had everything in common and he went to college and we still dated. We broke up a few months ago but continued to talk/have sex. We had discussed getting back together and being in love but he's now decided he never wants to date me again. He said he's "in love with me but doesnt want me to be the girl he marries" He told me that a few weeks ago but continued to see me and sleep with me and say he loves me which made me get hope. He told his best friend he's been using me for sex and when I found this out it killed me inside. During our relationship there were problems- he didn't care about me sometimes, often neglected me, ect, but I was madly in love and we had so many mutual interests and opinions that it was perfect. I just basically need advice on how to get better. I am an absolute mess right now and seeing a picture of him pop up destroys me. He dated me for so long and then just dropped me like I never existed. I don't get motivated for college because he goes there and all my memories of that school involve me visiting him. Can you guys just give me tips on how to stop being a pathetic depressed shit? thank you TL;DR:

r/self TITLE: Don't become a customer of solo mobile POST: Today I tried to send a text message to multiple contacts. My phone has a software bug which causes it to restart when I try to do that. I tried to work around this bug, which caused my phone to restart every time I tried to send a text message. I went to the bell store for a fix, and they offered me a "deal" for a smartphone on a 3 year contract. A repair to my current phone was not mentioned. Since this was a small software issue, I thought this would be an easy fix. Speaking to tech support by phone, they told me a repair would be $70 and take 4-6 weeks. I asked how to reset the phone, but I don't recall being told how. I was transferred to retention, where I was offered 2 other "deals" involving an extension on my contract (with a new phone) or buy a $50 phone from solo for the last 6 months of my contract (and they would "generously" waive the activation fee). I mentioned I was not happy with solo (reception, and this problem) and was told this model is a lemon, and it wasn't solo's fault. I found the manual online. I knew if I could find a way to delete all of my text messages, this would solve the problem. I found this explanation in the manual, and it solved my problem. I was right about this being an easy fix. Note: A phone on a 2 year contract has a warranty of 1 year. Also, the person at retention noticed an agent erroneously extended my contract last august. They get points for honesty there, admittedly. TL;DR: