Datasets:

turne292

/

just_prompt_small

like 1

r/relationships TITLE: My mother [50ish] won't let me [f22] see my little sister [10] unless I cut my hair. POST: I've had long hair my whole life because my mother didn't allow me to cut it. I finally recently cut it into a cute fauxhawk. I go to school out of state, and I was skyping with my little sister and mother and showed them my hair. My mother didn't say much, but she later called me and informed me that she doesn't want my sister around that and I won't be allowed to come see my sister this summer unless I cut my hair into a pixie cut. The real reason is that she thinks it is dykey (I'm not gay and I would be visiting with my boyfriend, so it's not like she thinks I'm actually a lesbian) although she wasn't straightforward about that. I know I could just cut it and it would look good but I don't want to encourage her to think she can use my relationship with my little sister as leverage to do whatever she wants... especially something as minor as a hair cut. I told her I thought she was being manipulative and cruel but she hasn't responded. What do I do? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [31 F] found out my [31 M] has taken thousands out of our savings account and kept it in a secret account he had been using for 9 months. POST: I found out yesterday that my husband took out thousands of dollars ($4,600) from our savings account and put it in an old account he had before we married that I thought was closed/inactive. I also found out that the account I initially thought was closed/inactive he has been using for about 9 months and has hidden total about $5,400 from me. All of the money is gone. He used to to buy what ever he wanted but the things he bought weren't material in nature so there is nothing to take back. He says that the reason he took out the money from the savings was to "double it" on a gambling bet. He lost obviously. I love him very much and I want to work this out but I'm extremely upset and not sure how to start. Part of the problem is that he comes from a very wealthy family who has bred a lot of lying behavior into their children. His brothers and sisters lie just as much as he does. His lying goes beyond the money issue as well. He lies about lots of little things. For instance he told me he was going to quit smoking his ecig but has been doing it anyway. When I asked him about it he said he just was going to smoke it until the juice ran out and that he wasn't buying new. I saw on the hidden account that he has been buying all sorts of stuff from the ecig shop. That's just one example but can be applied to a lot of things. He feels horrible about what he has done and has agreed to get therapy to over come his lying issues. Has anyone else ever gone through financial infidelity before? Does anyone have advice? TL;DR:

r/askwomenadvice TITLE: Friend deleted me from FB for Girlfriend, am I in the wrong for blocking him? POST: He [M22] started dating her [F22] two months ago. All's going well, but she's thinking he still likes me. I don't like him, I never have and I just moved far, far away from said state. He told me a few days ago that it would be better if I don't message him anymore. To ease her mind that there's nothing going on between us. He then deleted me from FB today, because she's still not convinced. I'm a lesbian that has no feelings towards him. Oh, and she's cheating on her boyfriend with my friend. He's telling me that this happens in relationships and that it'll blow over soon. " factionless, these things just happen. She isn't doing anything wrong" Actual message sent. So I blocked him on FB, and deleted him off my Instagram and snap chat. I'm so through with his bullshit. He says he doesn't like leaving relationships on a bad note. Yet he's doing this shit because this cheating girl is jealous of the lesbian that lives in the west. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] and my so [22f] have been not getting better and I think it's time to end it but im still in love with her. POST: We have been dating for a little over two years and recently we have been drifting apart more and more. I talked to her after a big fight and thought we should be done completely but she begged saying she would get better and we have been trying to work everything out. I think it was a mistake because she deals with alot of depression issues and is bad at handling her emotions. Latley she has barely gone out her way to even spend time together. It hard because she keeps saying she wants us to work out but she does nothing to show it. When I ask her hang with me instead of her new guy friends she gets upset. Last week we had a party at my place and I begged her to come over but she refused to even come over if I left the party with her. It's so hard because I'm genuinely trying and she just has given up completely but refuses to admit it and says she wants to be with me. Idk if she's cheating or doesn't want to be together but it would be so much easier if she said either one of those instead of half trying to make us work but not really trying because she doesn't want to get hurt agian. It hurts me that I'm still in love with her so much and won't show me a 1/5 of that emotional because she shuts down to avoid getting hurt. Last week I tried to end it again she cried so much begging me to reconsider and this she still didn't change and still acts distant to me through text. I just wanna get over her but I still lover her so much and want to bring the old her back TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [23 M] girlfriend [22 F] wants to string her ex [22 M] along and hurt him for what he did to her. POST: Yes you read the title right. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 1.5 years now and i really love her a lot. she is very beautiful and got a job offer for modeling (she doesn't know if she wants to do it yet) for a big company. she dated a guy before me (he was a piece of shit and used to get violent with her) and he cheated on her all the time. he recently found out that we are dating and has been threatening, me and begging for her back. she came to me yesterday and told me about her (not so) great plan for revenge. she said she wants to string him along, make him think she wants him back and have him fly out here and then tell him she was kidding. i said he would have no place, to go and what if something happens to him and she said "good" yea. i know what he did was wrong but i don't think getting back at him will change anything. what should i do? should i even do anything? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [33f] him [33m] caught cheating once, is he doing it again? POST: Specifics: married for 4 years. Two years in he was caught cheating. I'd had a kid and major unrelated surgery. He felt it was partly my fault because I wasn't having sex during this time (couldn't... doctors orders) The most I found out was that he was having sexually explicit chats on yahoo and Facebook. He did this with several different women, some who I did know. I saw some things I was upset about and due to my vague upset reaction he revealed enough that I knew it was serious and tried to get the details. He lied many times. I found emails to other guys that he denies. I found out from a girl I knew he'd sent her photos of me. We went to therapy but she wanted him to go on his own as well and he quit. He said he already knew he shouldn't chat like that. Flash forward to now. He always has everything erased on his phone. Histories. Open apps. He wipes it all clean. So at the end of the night when all he has done is play around on his phone for four hours, I can't see where he was or what he was doing. I assume he has hidden accounts again and I've suspected he is putting ads on Craigslist but I can't prove anything. He doesn't use the laptop at home. Just his phone. But he is on there all night. I do admit to snooping. I try to do it discreetly, but I don't trust him. I think he enjoys this line of sexting, and he doesn't see it as cheating even though I think it is cheating. We have sex 3 or so times a week. About every other day. That shouldn't be the excuse this time. So where do I go from here? I'm not snooping efficiently enough to figure anything out, don't know how to do it. If I talk to him, whether or not he is doing something, he will say either way that he isn't. Since I've been lied to plenty, I don't really trust his word. His assurances won't make me feel better. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [25 F] with my boyfriend[26 M] his mom is ill, he is clearly struggling but pushes me away POST: I've been with my boyfriend for ~9 months. He's an international student, his mother is back home in another country on the other side of the world. He told be briefly about her health struggles in the past which included a kidney transfer. He is very close with his mother and became very emotional while discussing it. She is ill again and doctors are recommending she start dialysis. He is very upset, but he doesn't want to talk about it. He is pulling away. I tried discussing with him that I want to be here for him, that sharing his feelings with me might make him feel better as well as me, and that while I understand he is upset, seeing him pull away hurts me. He said he understood, but continues to withdraw. How can I be a supportive girlfriend to someone who copes in this way? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [23f] ran into my ex bf's[27m] Mom today while shopping. I was happy to see her. Tell me about your friendly run-ins. Had been together almost 2 years, broken up 1.5 years. POST: My ex bf broke up with me almost a year and a half ago. We were together for almost 2 years. I didn't take it well. Our relationship had just seemed to reach its expiry date. Anyway, fast forward to now, I'm doing very well and I've been seeing someone new for about 6 months. I haven't seen my ex since the day he broke up with me. We've spoken a few times (by my initiative), but the last time we were in touch he suggested hooking up and I decided to just not talk to him anymore. I wanted to be friends, but I sensed he wasn't sentimental about that in the same way I had been. Not worth it, moving on. While shopping today, I see a lady stop and wave at me and I realize it was my ex bf's Mom. We were quite happy to see each other, greeted each other with a hug, and stopped to chat briefly. She told me a bit about her holidays, asked about mine. I think it got awkward when we both realized we were trying not to bring up my ex, and so parted ways by wishing each other a happy new year. But it was still really nice to see her, and it was nice to be greeted like that. It left me with some weird emotions though. A bit bittersweet. Just curious to hear about other people's run-ins with family or friends of an ex. TL;DR:

r/Parenting TITLE: How do I respond to my son's new behavior of denying himself want he wants? POST: My son is almost 5 and a few weeks ago he started a new behavior. I don't know why he's doing this or how to respond. I would love some insight or some response suggestions. He first states something he wants to do then says he's not going to do it. Then he talks and whines about it. He says "I really want to use that blanket but I'm not going to." He doesn't have a reason why not or else the reason is really flimsy. I let him know he can do or have it but he refuses. My working theory is that he's creating a safe place for him to experience "negative" emotions. There have been a lot of changes lately, all positive, but still stressful. I don't think he feels ok expressing his jealousy of his little sister or anxiety about school because he really loves both of those things. But you can love something and still have a lot of upset emotion about it. By creating the trivial conflict he is creating a definable space to express himself. I'm not sure that's what it is but it's the only thing I can think of that fits. I've switched my responses to try to address his emotions in the moment. I give him words he can use to talk about his feelings but he hasn't responded much to that. I want to help him feel what he needs to feel then navigate his way out of the conflict. And I want him to stop the whining! I don't deal well with whining (although I'm sort of doing it now here myself). TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: "Rich" Boyfriend [23] offered to pay for vacation - need advice POST: My boyfriend [23] and I [19] have been dating for 7 months now. We are planning on going on vacation together in September. We are both college students but his family has a lot of money. He earns some money through sport sponsorship and he gets ridiculous amounts of money for christmas and birthday, so he has enough on his bank account to pay for a flight to Bali or Florida (European here, those were actually his two suggestions). The only money I have is what I earn through summer internships, which means that even if I can afford such a vacation this year, I probably won't be able to next year. My parents can't support me and I don't want them to. He had already offered a vacation as a christmas present for me, which was like 2 months after we got together so I said no. He only offered because he knows that I don't have that much money, not to show off with it and I know that he will never use it against me in an argument. He just loves surfing which isn't possible anywhere near where we live. He is kind of spoiled but is it my job to change that? His financial situation is probably never gonna change anyway. btw my mum is strictly against letting him pay for the flight, my dad doesn't know. Is it ok to let him pay for it since it's no problem for him? Or should I convince him to go on vacation somewhere in Europe even if that means that he can't go surfing? At what point in a realtionship is it ok to let the other one pay for such big things (I mean married couples mostly have joined accounts anyway so you can't say who is paying for what)? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Due to my [21 F] misguided picture, my relationship with my husband [23 M] of 2 years is spiraling out of control and I don't know what to do. POST: I like to draw. This does include nudes, sometimes. About a week ago an online male friend asked me to "draw him like one of your french girls" as a titanic joke. I thought maybe I shouldn't do that but I did it anyways for god knows why. It was a nude drawing of him laying on a couch like from titanic. About two days ago he saw the drawing and was very hurt and angry. I tried to talk to him about it that night and apologized for making the drawing, and promised nothing like that would ever happen again. Just to be clear, there was no picture trading, no relationship of any kind except for casual friendship with this online person. Since then he has barely said anything to me, and what he has said was hurtful. I understand he's doing this because he's upset. I have tried again to apologize. He says he has lost all trust in me which I understand, but I am unsure of where to go next. He won't sleep in the same bed with me and will not say a word to me until absolutely required. I have no idea how to deal with this. I don't even want to mention divorce for fear of what he would say. He's still wearing his ring which I am taking as a good sign. How do we move past this? What can I say, what can I do? I'm so lost. I really, really need some help right now. Please. TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: 23[m] dating 21[f] long distance relationship POST: Six months ago I divorced my abusive wife, I've started my life over, I actually did deactivate my Facebook and hit the gym like the cliche says, didn't need to hire a lawyer a friend of the family did just fine. There is this girl with whom I have always been friends, we tried dating years ago but it didn't work out at the time. She also had a poor marriage ending around four months ago, drunkard of a husband, not much physical abuse mostly lots of fighting. All of a sudden (not really, we text every once in a while) she is back in my life. She lives around 1200 miles away, and came to town for a visit (there were also other friends she had come to see). We spent some time seeing the local attractions and had a very enjoyable three days. We spent almost the entire time we weren't busy at attractions and with other things making out and having sex. Now we've decided to try the long distance thing and play it by ear to see how it develops. Here is the thing, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to do the LDR thing, sure google helps. Google gives you ideas, we're probably going to be doing "skype dates" and sending each other random gifts, that's all fine and dandy. I just don't know how to handle the emotional impact of dating someone again, it's been **years** since I've had someone in my life like this. I'm worried about getting too attached too quickly, I'm worried about pushing her away by being attached too quickly, I'm worried that we're only interested in each other because we both just got out of bad relationships and are rebounding, I'm worried that after this "honeymoon" phase is over we'll realize this is a stupid thing after all. I'm worried about the potential of a life with someone who I have known for 8 years and still surprises me. I don't know how to handle this. I'm having a hard time finding a balance between over communicating and under, and over all I'd just like some advice about how to handle this. Thanks, sorry for spewing a wall of text at you it was cathartic. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [27 M] with my affair [19 F] she had different hopes and left crying POST: I had small talk with this girl and we made an appointment for lunch which changed to a dinner at my place and watching a movie. She told me she didn´t had luck with boys in the last time and isn´t looking for a "friend with benefits". After the movie I offered her to bring her back home but she wanted to spend the night at my place. (My mistake here that i didn´t insisted bringing her home and let my other "brain" take control). We meet again the next day, she asked if i´m like the other guys who only want to have fun with her. I told her, that i would like to get to know her better but that it´s to early to decide to have a relationship or not. The Topic game up on the next day again. She knew from the beginning that my time in this country is limited and because i don´t know if and when i can come back to this country, that a relationship would be limited for my time beeing here. At this point i realized shes looking for a long time relationship which is for me way to early to decide after a few days in the adition with the knowledge it would became a distance relationship (already had one, is not working out for me). So she left crying, feeling betrayed and used again. I started that with the intention for a relationship on time, beeing okay for her as she know i will leave the country again in a few month and now feel terrible to hurt her like this. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Would It Be Beneficial [20 M] For Me to Talk to My Friend [19F] About This? POST: So I'm in college. Last semester I told one of my best friends I had feelings for her. She had a boyfriend, but I told her anyways because she was being super flirty and talking about breaking up with him. She just looked super uncomfortable, and while she didn't explicitly say she wasn't interested it was heavily implied. Anyways, now she's broken up with him....and I'm obviously still into her. I'm 90% sure she's not interested, because I heard from a second hand source that she's seeing somebody...but she's still really flirty with me sometimes... and says that she misses me. So I don't what the hell to think. I guess my question is should I just rip off the band aid, tell her that I'm still into her, and if she's not interested tell her to stop flirting with me? Or would this just strain our friendship even more? It's almost impossible for me to avoid her, so I wouldn't want to make things uncomfortable. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: Are relationship ups and downs normal? [Me:23f Him: 24m] POST: Been with my s/o 3 years, living together for 2.5. Generally, I can say I'm happy in our relationship, he treats me right and it isn't toxic or abusive in any way I can see, except we might be a bit co-dependent. But we are respectful and kind to one another. But we go through cycles. Long (3-6 month periods) of great chemistry, happiness, barely any disagreements or arguments, and those we have are short-lived or one offs. We have a great sex life, and feel very close. But, it's punctuated with shorter (a week to two months) periods of arguing weekly or daily, feelings of disconnect, and some bruised feelings, and lower sexual activity and intimacy. Usually, these periods reach a peak where one of us (usually me) gets really overwhelmed and we have to sit down and have a long talk about what we're going to do, and breaking up has been on the table at least twice. But, we've managed to turn things around and make them better than before. We're going through a somewhat low period, but not as intense as in the past. Just a general feeling of frustration over minor to moderate issues. Stuff like quality time, division and timeliness of chores, and other things. I love him very much, and I think we work together really well, as a team and a couple. But these feelings of low confidence in us is recurring... is that normal? Or should I be examining whether or not I should think about leaving? Would counselling be a help? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [20 F] am having a hard time getting over someone that meant a lot to me and I've lost all ambition. How do I get out of this funk? POST: I [20/F] started to sleep with one of my best friends 6 months ago and it ended just over a month ago. Not only do I have to see her [22/F] with someone else now, but I can't fully do no contact because we were never official, we were really, really great friends and we have a lot of friends in common. We haven't spoken much, maybe 3 or 4 short conversations. I spent 3 weeks completely no contact and only recently had those conversations. Whether we speak or not, I feel the same and think about her all the time. I don't know what to do with myself. I used to be a very ambitious person but now I just can't push myself to apply for jobs (I recently graduated from college) let alone get out of bed before 2pm. I have tried to hang out with friends and distract myself but I just keep thinking about her and overthinking what I meant to her and why I wasn't good enough and how she could do this to our friendship if it didn't mean anything. I'm not myself. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23 F] with my ex?-boyfriend [24 M] of almost 9 months, in sudden no contact. Does this mean we're over? POST: I'll try to keep this short. LDR boyfriend (he's in Canada, I'm in U.S.) of almost 9 months. We talked and Skyped daily, even if it meant that we were both doing our own things and not actively paying attention to each other. This past weekend, he goes out and about without letting me know like usual. I text him asking and admittedly got a bit upset when he would not respond. Things were shaky for a bit Monday night, but come Tuesday it happens again... And he has not said a thing to me since. I didn't contact him for a day hoping that time would help us cool off, but I've messaged him multiple times to no avail. Is this his way of telling me that we're done? I'm not exactly heartbroken over this since I've prepped myself in the past few days, but this sudden cold shoulder is really annoying me. I've told him that he needs to let me know if we're done so that I can move on and stop bothering him. The only reason I'm trying is because there's a small chance that he's truly indisposed and that it's not his fault that he's not responding... TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Found out my (M 21) ex (F 21)was cheating on me POST: So my last post was about her breaking up with me beacause she didnt love me anymore. It really hurt me in the beginning but i was slowly recovering and we ended up chatting during class and being friends. Then after 2 weeks i see she's in a relationship with a guy she was "friends" with. Aftetr having a meltdown and chatting with my peers, i found out she was lying and cheating on me with this guy. I felt so hurt, betrayed, and angry. I was finally able to accept she didnt love me but this tears me apart even more. Ive decided on no contact and deleted all account and numbers of hers. Ive seen her twice since i found out this week and have been trying to avoid her. During one of our classes, she asked to sit by me and i told her it would be better if she didnt. The second time she asked how i was doing and i said "ok" but obviously not wanting to talk with her. She knows something is up but not sure if she knows that i know shes cheated. Im not sure if i should just tell her to stay away from me or just talk with her and tell her i know she cheated and how i feel. Im definitely not looking to get back together. Part of me wants to tell her off but i know that will just make things worse. So should i have a final talk with her or just tell her to leave me alone? TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by leaving my room's window open POST: A little back story, happpened 3 days ago was tryin to get some paper work done for my internship abroad and it was takin a lot of time to finish all of them (going from there to there) so that morning i got up washed my face, brushing theets the usual things i was in hurry so i left my window open and didn't bother my self to tidy my room.. Fast forward 3 hours later suddenly there it's the sky teared apart and setting free every litter of water it keeps for like a month i was like ok and find a coffee shop for shelter and get some hot coffee. After like half an hour when i get back home (all relaxed cause all the paper work was done) there was a little bit of a disaster the rain got in the house from window that i left open and got wet my newly gathered gaming pc and the cable's all around it that effects our electricity of the whole house and now i'm here after 3 days tryin to explain my housemate how i did burn down the electricity of the house just by leaving a window open.. TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: Co-worker got fired, I was that insensitive colleague POST: My co-worker who has been at my company for almost 8 years got fired a week ago and today was their last day. As a junior, and someone who didn't know her that well I had been avoiding talking to her all this time for the risk of saying the wrong thing. Furthermore, shes been incredibly difficult to talk to this week as shes incredibly emotionally unstable due to losing her job. She sits across from me, and for some fucking reason I asked her "Does it feel like the last day of school?". She paused for a bit and responded along the lines of "To be honest it feels like shit but I haven't had a lot of time to think about it. Its not exactly the way I wanted to go out". I slowly sunk back into my chair completely shocked at my word vomit and the fact I would be so insensitive. I emailed her about 5 minutes later, telling her how good its been working with her and that I wish her the best for the future. She emailed me back reciprocating the comments. Anyway, so when I left the office an hour later, I went to her desk and again wished her well and she said "I'm sure we'll cross paths again". I said "Sure, well I'm still on facebook" (we're Facebook friends). I come home, shes immediately deleted me on facebook. And I know for sure shes told everyone in the office about how much I offended her. The damage is done but is there anyway I can slightly redeem myself or should I just try move on? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My Catholic girlfriend [24f] lied to me [29m] about being a virgin. POST: My girlfriend and I are both pretty religious Catholics, in fact we met each other at a Church-run charity we both volunteered at, and things went from there. I've probably known her for a year to a year and a half. We're very close, and we're very much in love. We've discussed many things, from our plans for engagement, to our religious faith, to our past sexual history. I'm a virgin and have no sexual experience at all, and she had told me she was the same. However, recently I found out she's not really a virgin. I was hanging out alone with one of her friends, and I was talking about how we met through volunteering at the Church, and how religious she is. Her friend, who's apparently been her friend for a long time said "sometimes I still can't believe she's changed so much." I didn't tell her how she had told me she was a virgin, but I just casually asked the friend more questions and allowed her to keep talking about their college days. Apparently she used to be a wild party girl at college, and had sex with a few guys during that time. That's what the friend said at least. I didn't detect any hint of deceit in her words and she had no reason to lie to me; she probably didn't even realise she was revealing knew information to me. I don't know what to do. My girlfriend, whom I was planning on getting engaged to, has lied to me about her past this entire time. She told me she was a virgin when she is not. What do I do? Should I just break up with her? What should I do? TL;DR:

r/Advice TITLE: Going to community college prior to university or applying as a university freshman? POST: I'm currently a junior in HS (in the U.S.) and this summer basically changed all my plans for post-graduation. I now have mroe options. My brother is 10 years older than I am, so I've talked to him quite a bit about going to college, and he's given he good advice on some things. He also went to community college before university. I am 100% for CC, but my only concern is that if I apply as a transfer student to a university, I won't be able to apply for as many scholarships. He insists I go to CC, but the difference between both of us is our academic achievements and out of school involvement. A bit about me... • I currently have a 3.9 GPA and am in the top 10%. I had a 4.0 all through freshman year but I got a couple B's in sophomore year. • I've taken a plethora of AP and honors classes. • My goal is to get 200 hours of community service, and I have nearly 100 already. • I've tutored students in history and English. • I teach outside of school. • I'm trilingual. • I'm a Caucasian female (I know this matters a lot of the time). On the other hand, my brother didn't have any of that. I guess what I'm asking is: TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: How do I (20F) get my boyfriend (21M) to be more romantic? POST: Sorry, y'all, it's a pretty long post. We were together for about a year, but broke up for about 4 months. We are back together now, and have been for about 2 months. When we first got back together, things were great. We had sex frequently, and he was fairly romantic. He's never been big on romance, so it was little things like kissing me in public, cuddling with me as we fall asleep, and telling me I'm pretty. (Although, he did pick me flowers one time, and I could not have been more ecstatic.) Lately, though, this has all faded away. Whenever I try to cuddle, for example, he complains that it is too hot for that, or that my hair is getting in his face. We also have sex far less frequently than we used to. He's apologized for this, saying that it is because he hasn't been working out and feels self-conscious, but I feel that may just be an excuse. Also, I do a lot of favors for him, but whenever I ask him to do something, he makes an excuse not to. He has always been this way, and it irritates me to no end. He rarely takes me on dates, and when he does, I usually plan them and pay for myself. He says this is because he doesn't have a lot of money, and can't spend it on me, but that never seems to be a problem when he's buying weed or fast-food. I don't think he's losing interest, however, because whenever we are apart for more than a day, he constantly tells me how much he misses me. An obvious solution to the problem would seem to be spending less time together, but he constantly wants to come over to my house since he hates his roommate. Is there any chance I'll be able to pry some romance out of him? Maybe even get him to pick me flowers again? Or even just be considerate and lend me a helping hand once in a while? I feel like I'm being taken for granted, and I don't know how to get him to appreciate me. This is why we broke up last time, and I need help to avoid this happening again. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I want to major in computer science but I have always hated Math (and just been terrible at it). Am I making a mistake by majoring in comp sci or will I be relatively Math-free after getting my degree? POST: I've wanted to major in computer science ever since the 8th grade, mainly because I really wanted to create my own programs and applications, or at least work on them. However, I've also been terrible at Math and overall just hate it, so taking the prerequisite Math classes is going to be very difficult for me. While I did promise myself that I would work my butt off in those Math classes, I still do not know what's in store for me. Am I making a mistake by majoring in computer science? For example, will I be expected to perform complex calculations in the field after getting employed? Or will I be relatively Math-free after graduating? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me 18 M with my girlfriend 17 F (7 months) I don't like the idea of her getting drunk at parties without me. Is that bad? POST: Recently, my girlfriend just went to her first real party. I've always trusted her, but I just don't like the idea of her getting drunk without me. She told me she got tipsy but that she had good judgment the entire time and everything, but she also said she fell of a pool table she was sitting on, so that doesn't really add up. I just feel REALLY uncomfortable with it. When I try to explain that to her, she tells me she's offended that I don't trust her, but I DO trust her - I just don't trust alcohol, especially with all the stories I hear all the time about cheating. She DID cheat once before on someone else, but that was a few years ago, and that wasn't at a party or underneath the influence of alcohol or anything. Also, when that happened, I think she had had some feelings for the person she cheated with all along. Am I right to feel this way? This has caused me a lot of stress. Do some couples actually have agreements where they don't drink without each other because one or both of them feel really uncomfortable? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My brother [30/m] moved into my [23/f] and my mom [68/f]'s apartment without telling me POST: Ahoy, Reddit. I need advice for something that transpired within a matter of two days. But first, a little backstory. My brother and I have never had a very positive relationship. When I was younger, we were never close, nor did he show any kind of care towards me and our other younger siblings. There were a few times he even physically assaulted me so growing up, I felt mostly threatened by him. Fast-forward to present day. My brother has never held a steady nor full-time job and he's usually asking for handouts from my mom and dad (separated). My mom doesn't work due to her health and my dad has to provide for my step-family of 7. A couple of months ago, my brother got laid off from his job. He can no longer afford the rent to pay for his place (with roommates) and gets kicked out. He calls my mom on August 1st and she goes to pick him up and moves his stuff into our place. Now, our apartment is a modest 1 bedroom. I let my mom have the bedroom and I sleep in a futon in the living room. With my brother there, it's pretty tight, not to mention mentally uncomfortable. I'm finishing up my final semester of college complete with 7 courses, working part-time, searching for internships for next spring, studying my ass off for the GRE, you get the deal. For the last two years, in accordance with my International Relations degree, I have been abroad in Japan, Egypt, and Palestine, respectively. I've Skyped with my mom regularly and not once did she mention my brother was moving in during the past month. I've had a serious talk with my mom about this huge issue. I told her many times in a one-to-one conversation that my brother cannot stay here. He's a 30 year old man, for fuck's sake. I don't know how to get him to move out and let me have my space that is rightfully mine. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by ignoring my room mate POST: To preface this story i live with my room mate in a small double decker condo with a little backyard. I am almost never home because im always traveling, at work or in class. So today I came back from a rock climbing trip. I was deliriously tired coming in at about 4 in the morning. I set my stuff down in the hallway and let my dog out back to do his thing. Let him back in stumble upstairs and see a note on my door from my room mate. (Let's call him steve) Steve is kind of an idiot so being super tired I figured he was probably telling me to buy more toilet paper or something so I pulled it off my door, dropped it on my floor and passed out hard. 7 in the morning rolls around and I hear deep voices I've never heard before. Steve is a small dude and doesn't really hangout with people other than his girlfriend so I was a little curious but disregarded it. Voices get closer. My bedroom door opens and I see a large bearded man and another average sized dude in hooded sweatshirts walk in. Still deliriously tired I pull the ar-15 out from under my pillow and shouted GET DOWN MOTHERFUCKERS! At this point my rather large Australian Shepherd jumps up and tackles one of the dudes to the ground who at this point is pissing his pants. Ready for the fuck up? The guy who didn't have my dog about to rip his throat out goes "WAITTTT WE LEFT A NOTICE ON YOUR DOOR!" Keeping my guard up I notice the note on the ground. I pick it up and read it. It's a note from Steve saying that the maintenance department was coming by with the corperate office to do annual inspections on our condo and had given us two days notice. Immediately apologizing up and down I helped the one dude up who was luckily fine. They aren't pressing charges. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (17M) engaged in sexual activity with my friend (17F) but she did the same thing with another guy the following night. What do i do? POST: I'm interested in this girl and have been for a long time. We've been texting every single day for the past several months. We've had drunken intimacy on a few occasions and the last time I admitted to her that I had feelings and wanted a relationship. She told me she was interested but not ready for a relationship which I accepted at the time. A few days ago, I had a few friends over including her and whilst everyone was chatting in the lounge, we went upstairs and engaged in foreplay (no sex). The difference this time was that we were both sober. After this I felt like we had taken a step forward and that it seemed like we both wanted similar things (a relationship). The next day she went to a party and messaged me afterwards. She said that she had kissed a guy drunkenly but pulled away as soon as it happened and it didn't mean anything. However, I found it was way more than that and that she instigated it. She gave him a lap dance and he went down on her. I confronted her about all this and she confessed, being extremely apologetic and begged for my forgiveness. She said it meant absolutely nothing and now she wants to be in a relationship. I'm understandably furious but I still like this girl, what should I do? Do I have the right to be angry? Is it considered cheating even if we aren't properly together? Does the fact that she was drunk make it more forgivable? Is it a good idea to start a relationship based on this? I'm just so lost on what to do and I need your help. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I need help regaining my happiness.... POST: Hopefully this is helpful for others as well. It's a fairly common situation to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It's not even that uncommon that the person who I love happens to be my best friend but it's been a year and a half and after much suffering and deep though I have come to the conclusion that the only way for me to be truly freed from the incredibly (possibly) torturing experience that is being in love. Over the year and a half our we had been hooking up randomly but our friendship has been deteriorating. I recently found out that she hooked up with someone else and although she says that she regretted it, it took a lot more out of me that i thought it would. So, as young human being with not much experience in this world I beg of you wiser redditors and veterans of love: how do I completely expel this person from my life? I truly feel this is the first step in regaining my liberty and happiness. If further detail is need/requested i will gladly make an edit. From an outside perspective i actually find it to be an interesting story.. TL;DR:

r/loseit TITLE: Day 6: lost 4 lbs, advice wanted. POST: Hey everyone, I'm new to loseit. I'm starting my first workout/diet routine ever. My doctor says I need to get my cholesterol under control. I'm 23, 5' 10", and was 240 lbs. (now 236 lbs), and going to law school, and can only devote 1 hour per day to working out. So far, I've been doing 30 minutes of cardio (stairstepper usually) and 15 minutes of weights and push-ups. I've cut out soda, beer, and red meat. I've switched to skim milk, olive oil, whole grain, and brown rice. I've switched from pork and beef to chicken and fish, and I've bought a bunch of vegetables. My menu for next week's dinners are: Chicken fajitas, 15 bean soup, chicken stir fry, curried fish with brown rice, and chili (with ocra and mushrooms instead of beef) My current goal is healthy cholesterol and a weight of 199. I haven't weighed less than 200lbs since jr. high (nearly a decade ago) I want to surprise my doctor when I head in next month. My breakfasts are usually cheerios (generic brand), but I'm unsure what I should be eating for lunch. As it is, I've been eating a sandwich and a banana. The sandwich has processed lunch meat and cheese on it, which I think should probably be the next things I cut out of the diet. Does anyone have some advice on healthier lunches? I am on the go, and salad just doesn't do it for me. Would a baked potato be a better option? Any advice for healthier meals would be more than welcome. I love to cook (and unfortunately, I love to eat), and would eagerly read any recipes loseit had to offer. TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: I'm working for a new startup company (background inside), can I invest my ownership equity into an ira? POST: Within the last couple of months I read an article (i believe from this subreddit) which talked about how some individuals are able to grow really large Roth IRA's. The article talks about at least one way to do this, by investing the ownership equity/shares in your own startup, then if you luck out and get an ipo or get bought out later, the money goes into your roth ira and you can use it as such. Can anyone help me find this article, or help me figure out how to do this? Background: I'm establishing an LLC for a new startup that my former company is funding ($100k initial investment). Although I'm not providing any funding personally, I'm getting 10% ownership in the LLC as a compensation for my efforts to work on this new project full-time. I also keep my salary from my previous job, $32k, but will likely be excluded from the year-end bonus pool which for me was $9k (pre-tax) last year , in exchange for the ownership this year. I'm 24, $4800 student loan @6.5%, $4k in savings, will pay off once I get $5500 to maintain approx. 1k emergency fund. Around $3-500/mo leftover for savings/loan/vacation/etc each month. I also started a simple ira this year with 3% match and contribute the full match amount each month (around $150 with match). TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend [24F] and I [29M] are on the rocks due to her gender dysphoria. POST: She's wanted to be a boy to some degree since she was a pre-teen. She is upset/jealous that men do not have to deal with all the biological issues/burdens women have to deal with. She can't identify with most women. This is an impossibly difficult topic to discuss with her since: 1. I don't have any type of dysphoria or dissatisfaction with my gender, so I can never fully understand her plight. 2. The things she hates about being a woman are biological and therefore permanent. There's a great sense of dread in her that things will never get easier. 3. She's not convinced that she could actually make the switch from female to male. I've done everything I can think of to support her and make her feel loved exactly the way she is. I've made it clear that if she did eventually feel the need to switch, that I would support her and that I wouldn't leave on that basis alone. My best advice at this point has been advising her to seek out others who have been in her situation. She cries so hard over this at times and I feel helpless. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [28 M] with my ex-gf [29 F] She wants to get back together and I don't know. POST: So I dated this girl almost three years ago for a couple of months. She's smart, funny, and attractive. Honestly I was surprised she was interested in me since she struck me as someone that could have had their choice of guys. She lived about an hour away, an inconvenient drive but manageable. At the time I had a lot of free time and could basically work my schedule around hers. She broke up with me but we ended things on good terms. I tend to let people fall out of my life. So I've barely maintained any contact with her since the split. Just the occasional "how are you doing?" message. I honestly hadn't talked with her in a year when she messages me saying that she misses me and I'm the one the got away. Now I liked this girl. Out of all of the people I've dated, she's the only one I would consider getting back together with. However, my life is in a weird place right now. This year I've started a new job, moved into an apartment with some friends (and might be starting a legal battle with my landlord due to lack of heat).I need to take a large test for my career, which I've been putting off taking already because of everything going on. So I don't know if I have the time or funds to be dating someone, especially that far away. On top of that, she obviously broke up with me for a reason. The relationship ended without any fights, so I wasn't ever really sure why she ended it. I moved on and stopped worrying about it. I'm worried that time has distorted her memory and whatever reason(s) she broke up with me before will crop back up if we got back together. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [19/M] have a crush on my best friend [19/F]. Could turn sour. POST: Hey guys, so basically I have become really good friends with this girl I met about a year ago. Since then I have found out we have a lot in common, gaming, fitness and we even have similar attitudes/ethics/morals. She is also a virgin, like myself.   Recently, we have become really close and I consider her probably my closest friend. Her and I have started taking beach walks twice a week and all we do is talk, laugh and give advice to each other. Due to our common interests and the fact shes a virgin has me insanely attracted (and I'm one of those guys who didn't want a relationship for 3-4 years due to a bad relationship). I'm not 100% sure if she likes me back as i am getting mixed signals. She tags me in things on facebook (and no one else) and snapchats me all the time. I always make her laugh and she get's pretty close to me when she drinks, like holds hands when we walk places and wants to be around me. She had a thing with another guy recently but has given that up because she isn't interested in him. She said she doesn't really want to hang out much with him if he still likes her, she would be weird around him. I am worried if i tell her how i feel OR if i tell someone how i feel she will find out, and if she doesn't feel the same she will be all weird and then i will lose that friend.   We walked today and we were talking about her ideal date for valentines day and it was legit the greatest thing i have ever heard and it made me a little sad because I really want to do that with her but i don't think she likes me. She has literally been on my mind for the past month. I can't just keep it to myself because it's eating me inside. I don't really have anyone else I trust to tell either. I know and am friends with most of her friends, yet i think if i told any of them they would tell her on the sly.   So I need advice on what I should do :( TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: (Non romantic) my husband's(31) ex employer(60) is giving him grief for starting his own company. POST: My husband worked for an hvac (heating ventilation and cooling) company for 6 years (he has been doing hvac for 11 years). He's very ambitious and had approached them several times about wanting to open up an electrical division with them since he's been doing that for about 14 years. They brushed him off each time and this August, he decided it was time to do his own thing. He got his electrical license and quit his job to work for himself. They were upset to lose him but he felt stunted and wanted more growth. They understood for the most part and even recently hired him to do an electrical job for them. His business has been doing great. We live in a small town so it has helped that he already knows so many people. Recently, he decided to go further and get his hvac license since he is good at it and enjoys it. Plus, I'm recently pregnant and he feels the urge to improve our financial situation and support our family. He passed his test and while he has not yet started doing hvac work, the word has apparently already spread and his ex employer has found out. He sent my husband this text last night: "Stop all work on my project and send me a bill. I'll think about whether I pay or not." My husband asked why and he responded with: "You've decided to compete with us even though you said you wouldn't. I don't like liars." My husband never said he wouldn't compete with them. This employer is an infamous hot head so he knew he'd be upset. He doesn't really know how to respond so I'm wondering if all you internet strangers have some advice. We'd rather not burn bridges living in such a small town but that may have already happened. Is this relationship salvageable? Should we even care? Thanks in advance. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Is it worth it to leave home without your parent's consent? POST: Okay, for starters I'm 19, and I'll be turning 20 in February. I've been planning on transferring colleges for over a year and a half now, however the college I want to go to is out of state, and my parents have made it clear that they won't pay out of state tuition. So I've decided to move up there, work, get residency, and then transfer, and pay for the rest of college by myself. I was set on leaving by early March at the latest (though I'd prefer to leave in late January), however, my parents want me to stay until the end of the next semester. I've already got all my general ed. classes out of the way, and the major I want (which is the main reason I've decided to transfer to the other college) is not offered by my current college, so there's not much I could do in terms of working towards my major. If anything, I'm pretty sure the only reason they won't let me leave early is because there's a fee for withdrawing from the dorms (my college only offers one semester living in the spring only, for whatever reason). I'm working towards having a job ready once I move, and I have some money saved up but it would probably only be enough for a plane ticket, one month's rent and the deposit and some ramen. I'd like to get residency as soon as possible so I don't have to delay getting my degree any further. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [34 M] with my __commonlaw_ [33F] of 3 years, always spends 3-4 days in abject grumpy ness being entirely dispondent after a disagreement if any kind. POST: So I know from general observation of other peoples relationships and the standard line that "men always end up apologizing", but I am wondering if my girlfriends standoff-ish behavior is normal. Basically, anytime we have a disagreement she will spend the following few days being totally despondent and generally unpleasant towards me. She won't look or talk to me. To me, arguments are a time to find solutions to misunderstandings or differences of opinion, but she seems to approach it as an opportunity to drag up every instance where I've done something to vex her. Then yells. Never resolves any one issue, or any issue for that matter. Then cries, usually because I am still calm and trying to push a resolution to the original issue, then she goes to bed mad. The next few days then proceed to suck, royally(!), until I've forgotten about what the argument was about and try to say something nice so she'll be hospitable again. What is going on in her mind when she decides to be angry for three days? Does she - or girls in general- think that this is accomplishing something? Is this about trying to punish your partner? I am certain this isn't helping my opinion of her, and it is eroding my desire to get married. What is the best way to deal with what seems to me as a blatant attempt to obtain the upperhand. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: Tifu by working out for the first time in 5 years. POST: Actually it was yesterday, but the "fucked up" part applies to today. As the title says, I worked out for the first time in 5 years. I just recently got a gym membership, and yesterday was my first day going there. I went with my friend who has already been going there. It was "leg day", so 90% of what we did was leg activities. Well, we went through our routine and it was tough, but I felt good. Accomplished. (Side note - I'm not fat, I just wanna build some muscle I guess). Anyway, I go to sleep and wake up this morning. My pelvis is broken. Not really, but it felt like it. And has felt like it all day. That might be the wrong area, but its basically right above my thighs. I had to go to work for and stand/walk around for 9 hours straight, and every step was hell. It actually made me walk differently, that's how bad it was. I'm now trying to sleep, yes lying down, and every slight leg movement hurts. Not much of an exciting story, but I just felt like posting tonight. Also, anyone who knows fitness...did I fuck something up in my legs, or am I just being a pussy because I haven't had any strenuous activity on my body in 5 years? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [25 M] with my [20 F] 4 year relationship, money troubles, like all relationships POST: GF is not happy with the amount of money i have saved right and how i spend it. I am saving more than I ever have before but i enjoy being able to buy things here are there for personal reasons, like fallout 4 pipboy edition and coming soon the wheel balance board that is being released from gamestop. That is what i like to spend money on. She was livid and crying when i brought up the balance wheel was $300 talking to me about how i have a pattern of buying unnecessary things. I work fulltime and now am working two part time jobs and going to college. Is it that hard for someone to understand that i shouldn't have to logically think about every purchase decision and just save for years. I want to enjoy the time and money i have without kids, with her, and for myself. I feel i work hard for my money and save and spend just fine. Am i being selfish? I know she wants me to have money saved because she will be debt up to her ears from college but why can't i spend my money how i like.. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I(F/18)break up with my bf(M/18)of a year because he won't get over my past? POST: My bf and I have been together for a year and about 2 months in, I told him about things I have done in my past that I'm not so proud of. His heart was broken but he still decided he wanted to be with me. We recently graduated and have moved on to college. We live about 2 hours away from each other but still manage to make it work. Distance started drifting us apart, but not too much. Today, I questioned if he still loved me and he said yes. I told him he doesn't show it and he said he would love me 10 times more if it wasn't for my past. I'm thinking, what's the point of being with me if you can't love me to its full potential, right? My past happened 3 years ago and I'm nothing like the person I was back then. I really love this guy, but I have no idea what to do. Pleasseee help! TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: Co-Borrowing my Mothers Home/Tax Deduction POST: My mother is a widow who receives a foreign widows pension, she also works part time. She makes enough money to pay her monthly bills+mortgage, but because she makes so little declared income, she is not getting anything from the mortgage interest tax deduction. I am on the opposite side of this spectrum. I have a low 6-figure income, but I have no property, no children, I am not married, and I cant even deduct my IRA contributions. My taxes are quite high. My question is this: assuming the mortgage company would allow me to come onto the loan as a co-borrower (I am currently the trustee), and I paid the mortgage directly but was reimbursed by my mother, would it be beneficial from a tax stand point for me to become the co-borrower, assuming I the yearly tax amount would be somewhere in the $7000-$8000 range? Im not sure I understand this deduction. Would I simply pay that much less in taxes a year or is it (it must be) a bit more complex than that? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: [27/m] Friend's Ex trying to convince my wife [30/f] that I have been cheating on her to get "even" POST: Hi reddit I need some help, this morning my friend Amanda sent me an email telling me that her ex, a drug user and generally unhappy guy, got into her facebook and saw where a few weeks back Amanda had talked to me about what they had been going through and what she felt and I was doing the normal friend thing and listening, as well as commenting back. I have no issues with him and had none till now. He decided that since I wasn't taking his side or telling her to get back with him that I was disrespecting him, so he took a screen cap of our conversation in an out of context part that when read makes it look like I was cheating on my wife Mindy. My wife visits her sister every now and then and I usually can't go because of work, I spend my nights when she's away playing video games and just generally messing about on the internet. On one of those nights I went to our local wally world and was looking for something to make that night and generally talking to people I knew there. Amanda had sent me a message telling me she was bored or some nonsense like that I sent her back a message that said you should come see me, now she didn't reply to that for a bit, so I went home, once home I sent her a message telling her that I was home alone and that I was bored now as well. Since the messages were close together facebook paired them like they were one message since there wasn't a reply in between. He screen capped this and sent it to my wife, claiming I was meeting up with her and that I had been doing it for a while. Now I don't know what to do I love my wife so much and I can't imagine my life without her to the point that I don't even want to consider what to do "if". So I need advice reddit I have never cheated on my wife and never will please help! (Names are fake for reasons) TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: I am the "fat' triplet. POST: My sisters are almost forty pounds lighter than me. For two years I havent lost a pound despite marathon training and working out religiously. I have a very serious addiction to food that stops me from losing weight, and the exercise only seems to help me maintain. Since we all look very, very much alike- people tend to point out our differences such as ''she's the skinniest" or "you're kind of round compared to the other two, so I can tell you apart." I wasn't always the largest, but I began eating my feelings two years ago and can't keep off the weight. One of my sisters matched my weight, but recently lost 30 lbs doing whole30 and another 10 lbs after getting the stomach flu... She came to visit and she's so much smaller than me. People notice and comment on it. The worst part is, I've become so insecure about my weight that I feel disgusting when my husband so much as even holds my hand. I feel bad FOR him. I cringe when people hug me cause I can feel their hands on my back fat. I'm super conscious of every soft, or folding over part of my body. I'm trying to quit my addiction to food by limiting portions, but then I binge. I'm not sure what to do anymore and it's frustrating. It's making me a horrible person and I'm worried that I am becoming vain. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Should I confront a facebook friend that mentally ill and probably a danger to themselves or others, or just unfriend them? POST: Ex-GF from way back. She's paranoid schizophrenic, kinda ok when she's on her meds. Lately, she's been posting some crazy stuff on FB. Either she's off the meds, or they're not working. She says she had a bluetooth device implanted against her will, and people are speaking to her through it 24/7. Claims she's going to join "the military" because they're the only ones that know how to get it out. Apparently "They" are out to ruin her academic reputation and force her into prostitution. So, should I suggest to her that maybe the voices are coming from inside her own crazy brain, and that she should seek help, or do I just ignore her? I kinda feel like somebody should say something. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, am I going to die? POST: So, Al Qaeda apparently released a "hit list" of 40 people and corporate entities with names, pictures, personal info, etc. calling for lone wolf attackers to deal with the listed targets. This was apparently posted on the forum Shumoukh Al-Islam. The list is nowhere to be found, it seems, as obviously the government wouldn't want this list to be too public. The Internet being what it is, though, I have a feeling the list is out there somewhere. So how does this concern me? Well I'm a low wage unarmed security guard at a military contractor that makes unmanned drones, the kind the terrorists hate. We security guards were notified that we were to double our patrols and be on "high alert". The company also sanitized the outside of the building of all logos and name showings, and Google Maps now has us listed as some other no-name company. I called my boss, but he won't tell me in any specific way what's up. My question is, is my company on this hit list? Surely Reddit can find the list! I just want to know whether my bosses are being overcautious, or if I actually have cause for concern, because seriously, $11.25/hour just isn't worth it sometimes. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [21M] am bothered by my girlfriend [21F] of 6 month's past (cheating). Do I tell her? POST: Everything about our relationship has been going great. She has given me no reason not to trust her, and we're moving steadily. My parents and friends love her, and we're planning on moving in together come April. When we first started talking, she was completely upfront about how she cheated in a past relationship. She was 18, just turning 19 at the time, and dated the guy for about 8 months. He was abusive, physically and emotionally. They got into a fight, and she went to her ex for support. They got drunk, had sex, and she broke up with her boyfriend the next day out of guilt. She continued to see the ex she cheated with for two weeks after. At the time of her telling me, I wasn't too bothered. Now that I'm in love with her, it's starting to get to me. I brought it up a couple of months ago, and she did a good job of reassuring me. She said she was young, stupid, immature, and had no idea how to communicate in a relationship. She used it as a way to "escape". Still, I'm bothered by it. Moreso, I believe, because she's currently away for school, so we only each each other Friday - Monday. This, coupled with a few other "events" (she slept with a guy, and then his best friend a week later, however was single at the time), really has me considering ending the relationship. We spoke on the phone lastnight, and she could tell something was up. Do I bring it up to her (again), or is this something I need to work past on my own? I realize she has done nothing wrong, and in the time we've dated she has been the ideal girlfriend towards me. TL;DR:

r/AskDocs TITLE: Constant nausea without eating and with eating. POST: Hi AskDocs reddit, This will be my first time posting here and I hope this will be alright. I am a 19 year old male who previously had a kidney stone that caused pain around this time last year. Last year I had slight nausea but not as bad as now. I took medications that caused my kidney tube to expand and let the kidney stone out. It was about 5mm and after 1 month on medication it came out, I felt so much better for the rest of the year. I could eat as much as I could and I would not feel as nauseous. However, this week and the previous week (it has slowly/progressively gotten worse) I have been trying to eat but I have been having extreme nausea. I try to take sips of water (sometimes gulp which I know is bad to chug water down) but I am not sure if this is just dehydration. Last year when my kidney stone developed I barely drank water and I knew it, but I never thought I would develop a stone. However, this did not attribute to nausea because I felt fine until the pain started coming. This time around, I have no pain but I have EXTREME nausea. If I try to eat I'll throw up eventually or constantly have that feeling. Even if I eat nothing, I will still feel it but I am so hungry. I am curious to know what this problem might be, another stone or what because I am going to the doctors really soon but I want to know if there's any fixable problems for right now. I am at college so I do not have access to many medications/drugs. If more info is required I will list it. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: sticky blood letter POST: this is my first post here, I'm looking for some advice on a letter that I got in the mail today. I received a letter today which seemed to be the ordinary except that it had the post code written on the front of the envelope in pen which I thought was strange. when I turned the letter over it has clearly been opened already and the person has sealed it again with two bits of sticky tape. i quickly noticed the sticky tape has blood underneath it. kind of like in lines or something, like some one has scrapped their finger along the end of where you rip the tap off on that spiky bit. I don't really understand this and havent opened it because it just seems really strange. what makes it stranger is that a package for a ex-housemate who had it in for me and my friend really bad, for no reason, i think she had some mental issues and i know that she was a heavy drinker and valium user, she has threatened both me and my friend on countless occasions, not to mention going crazy one day and calling the police on us, when it was her yelling and screaming. well the package for her arrived in the same mail today. and she hasn't lived here for months now. it's the first mail to her since she left. so yeah that is what has happened. do I go to the cops. do I just get rid of the letter? idk TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [27 M] have slept with a girl [22 F] about half a dozen times over the last three weeks, we've not said a word about commitment, but I'm running out of my expensive condoms...too soon to ask her to split this cost with me? POST: So we've been seeing each other for three weeks, I like her a lot and am interested in becoming exclusive with her, being a couple, falling in love, etc etc...no idea what she really thinks about me exactly beyond having fun together. Though she really seems to like me, I don't want to press things. We are both studying abroad in Europe in the same city right now and as of now have different plans for when we go back to the states in about 9 months (though I've convinced lovers to follow me places before in similar situations) For one reason or another, I've never been able to reach climax during intercourse using condoms. I usually go limp within a few minutes because I don't feel anything. About a year ago I discovered Crown brand condoms which are super thin and allow me at least some sensation. I've successfully climaxed twice using them (which isn't batting a thousand but it's better than before!). Problem is, I'm almost out these condoms, and while they do sell them here in Europe, they only sell them in amounts of 100, and it would cost me about $50 to order them from amazon in Europe. They're less than $5 for $25 in America, though I don't have anyone in America that would ship them to me. I'm really tight on money, and normally I would think it's only fair to split the cost of condoms with a partner, but I'm thinking asking her to split the cost of these condoms with me might imply to her that I'm expecting a long term commitment or something (it is a 100 pack after all), and I don't want to scare her off. **Should I just suck it up and buy these on my own or should I ask her to split the cost with me? TL;DR:

r/pettyrevenge TITLE: Thought you didn't need valet POST: So I work as a valet as stated in the title. On this particular evening I happened to be working at a high scale resturant with a private function that made the parking lot look rather full while the resturant was empty. This resturant that had a rather large parking lot so those who didn't want or need valet did not have to valet with me (important for later). So I was working and a car pulls up to the valet stand and puts the car into park so I go an open the door for the passenger and say hi how's it going. The passanger then asks do you know how long the wait is? Me- I don't think there is one but id happy to go check for you if you want. Her (rather rudely)- we don't need you anymore well go park ourselves. Me- ok I'd be happy go check if you want though Her- no we don't need you Her husband looked rather embarrassed that he just wasted my time asking for the wait and then having his wife rudely say she didn't need me anymore. Well as it happened their car battery happened to die while they were eating in the restaurant because they left their lights on... Hey they didn't need me so why would I inform them of this. Well after their dinner they discovered this and she came up asking if I could give her a jump and I got the joyous occasion to say "miss I thought you didn't need me. I'm sorry but no I can't give you a jump I have customers I have to attend to". Her husband laughingly gave me a twenty to jump his car which I promptly did. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: The guy [23m] I'm dating asked me [21f] to go on a three hour trip with him and his best friend [23m] and the best friend's girlfriend/fiancée-to-be [19f]. I don't really want to go, but am I being unreasonable? POST: So this doesn't seem too bad, I've been dating this guy, Mark, for 4 months and in that time we've been on three dates. (That is my fault, though.. I had exams and I put my education before him, since I didn't know him.) This is the second time I'm dating someone and I have no experience whatsoever. I haven't kissed (anyone) yet and Mark is waiting untill I feel comfortable. (Which is probably the next date cause I feel bad). I am someone who needs time getting used to people and I am kinda an introvert. I'm also a relationship noob, so that doesn't help. So anyway, he asked me to go on a double date with his best friend, Randy, and his girlfriend Stacy to a christmas market three hours away by car(This is also going to be abroad). Randy is a childhood friend but he moved away and we lost touch. I don't know him anymore nor do I know his girlfriend. What I do know is that they want to get married. I don't know if I feel comfortable going. I mean I don't really know any of them and Mark and I have only been on 3 dates. Plus, those two are going to be waayy closer than Mark and I are going to be. And I think that would be really awkward.. We are not dating that seriously. I think? He said he had feelings for me and while I like him, I don't think this is something I want to do? But, since I have no experience, I was wondering if I was being unreasonable if I tell him I don't feel comfortable going? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [25M] want to end my three year relationship with my [28F] live-in girlfriend. Feedback on how to do it please? POST: Hi all, Most regrettably, I really think that the time has come for me to end it with my girlfriend of three years. After yet another one of our big fights, I truly believe that we are not compatible. We've tried for a good long time but things are not changing. A few months back I tried breaking up with her, also after a fight, and she immediately broke into tears and begged me not to leave, saying she needed me. I relented because I decided maybe this was a reality check that would get us to where we need to be to stay happy together. Unfortunately I feel it hasn't happened and it's time to pull the plug, for the sake of us both. Despite our unhappiness, my girlfriend never seems to broach the idea of breaking up. I think if I don't do it she never will. I know this will likely be seriously painful for her but ultimately better for us both, if not at least for me. Still, if I feel physically sick thinking about the heartbreak it will cause her. Right now she is on a work trip to a neighboring city and will return in a couple days. I was thinking that I should pack my things and move into a hostel or with a friend while she is gone and then meet her in person when she gets back. I think that's better than breaking up with her while she is on her trip and also better than breaking up with her in person but not being able to get out of the apartment. I also think that if I am already moved out, it will give us some necessary time apart which will be needed for personal contemplation of the situation. What do you think? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: 16M super confused about this girl I like POST: So long story short me and this girl went on a trip together I got her snapchat and we talked a bunch when we got home. SHe kept saying she missed me and asking if I had a girlfriends so I asked her out over snapchat and she screenshotted it and didn't respond. We kept in tough after that and then I saw her today and she was super exited and sat by me instead of her best friend and she took like 20 pictures with me some by some yearbook photographer and some with her and me from her phone. She also posted a punch of pictures of me on her snapchat story, what is going on? Also today she found out we were the same age and I wasn't younger than her TL;DR:

r/college TITLE: Is it a bad idea to take some time off from college to figure out what I want to do? POST: So a little background, Im a college student and I come from a background that expects high expectations of me. (Two older brothers who have both gone to college.) My mother came from a different country and has been quite successful, my dad too has a similar story(so you can imagine they anything other than a college degree is unacceptable.). Here is where my problem comes in. Im coming into my closing year of my freshman year(Im an average b-c student) and have no clue what I want to do. (I know people always say oh I didnt know what I wanted to do either) this is (at least I feel) different because I have a variety of things I would like to do but I've never really taken a strong interest in anything except music. Now Im going to have an interview soon for a job that will let me support myself so I wont be a "burden" on anyone but Im unsure if It would be okay to stop going to school for a while (maybe just a year) just to help me figure out what I want to do. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: My mom is accusing me of ditching a family trip to have sex with my boyfriend. Help? POST: I've known my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we've been going out for about a month. Our friends have been trying to hook us up and we finally got together. I lost my virginity to him a couple weeks ago. Our relationship is open; we hug kiss and cuddle in public. My mom is very religious and has seen us cuddling. She got mad at me one time for holding hands with him in church and said it was inappropriate. Fast forward two weeks, my mom planned a trip to New York on short notice. I'm in highschool my sister now has a job and won't be able to come to New York. I tell my mom I don't wanna go, my sisters absence being half the reason. The other half is that I'm terrified of my moms boyfriend; he always stalks me and has 4 cameras up around outside of my house. So I don't tell my mom why I don't wanna go, just that I don't want to. So my mom assumes that I don't wanna go because I plan to bring my boyfriend to my house and have sex with him while they're gone, which is totally not the case. She doesn't know I had sex, she just suspects it. I planned on going to my dads house for the duration of the trip and didn't expect her to leave me alone at the house anyway. So when she gets home around 6pm she plans to talk to me and most likely chew me out about sex and God and I'm terrified. What do I say? TL;DR:

r/dogs TITLE: Problem with dog at girlfriend's house POST: My girlfriend's family has this adorable Shiba Inu. He will greet me when I enter their house, licks my face to wake me up and sometimes curls up on my lap. But, as a lot of you will know, Shiba's tend to be very willfull dogs. It doesn't help either that they let him eat with them at the table (taking him on their lap), sleep on their beds and don't correct him when he doesn't listen (he ignores basic commands like "sit" and "come", so you have to effectively chase him with at least three people to corner him to get him out for a walk). It's not my dog, so I'm not going to tell them how they should raise him, because he's all in all quite a lovely one. The problem is when he wants to dominate me. I'm there only twice a week so I guess he still wants to show me he's the boss sometimes. He jumps op to me to bite (not agressively, but not playfully either) me in the buttocks or ankles when I'm walking or sitting in the couch, and when I try to shove him away with my arms or legs, he'll bite in my fingers or toes and it can hurt quite a bit. Now, when my Labrador at home would do that to my family or a guest (she would never), we'd grab her by her neck and push her down, like their doggy-mothers would do. I once closed my hand around the Shiba's snout to tell him he's a bad boy, but I guess I accidentally trapped his tongue between his teeth and he let out this surprised yelp that made me feel like the vilest creature ever. my gf's mom assured me that I was right to do so, but I saw on her dad's face that he thinks I should man up and let his cute little dog just play when he feels like it. I already told my girlfriend I feel quite uncomfortable about the whole situation and I will confront her parents if this doesn't change soon. But I hoped the people of /r/dogs might have some advice for me, so I don't have to? Like a way to show the dog I don't tolerate his behaviour and I'm his boss without hurting him? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [29m] and not sexually attracted to my gf [32f] of one year.. what should I do? POST: I enjoy being with her, she is deep and intelligent, and when she laughs I feel happy, *but* I am not attracted to my girlfriend. This sounds very shallow, but if she was a stranger at a bar, I would rate her around around a 6.4 on physical attractiveness. I am simply just not physically/sexually attracted to her. I believe she senses this and she gets upset with me sometimes. I've tried to overlook it and did the best I could to do that for the last year, but I am starting to think it is just something I won't be able to work out. She is also in her 30s so I don't want to keep her occupied with someone who is not physically attracted to her, when she could be out finding someone who does. Her birthday is coming up soon and I am not sure what to do. I do not want to break up with her before her birthday, and I also do not want to lose her as a friend, but she has stated before that if we were to break up it'd have to be completely no contact, otherwise she would not be able to handle it. What should I do? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: What do you think happens to us when we die? POST: I think that death could be a dream world or something like it. I can't really back it up with anything. Except when we are sleeping, we are unconscious in reality, but sometimes conscious in our dreams. Also, no one knows exactly why we dream. In sleep, we are the closest to death that we will ever be in our life. Our heart rate drops, our body mostly relaxes, we become unconscious and, what I like to think, is as we get closer to death in sleep we begin to fade into death or this "dream world" and just get a faint idea of it. That's why we rarely dream lucidly, and we cannot really control when or how we dream. That's a set of abilities reserved for the fully dead. We can only get a glimpse. A small fade. We can catch that glimpse but there is always a shroud or vale making it difficult to fully grasp it. Also, maybe the would explain why highly stressed people often don't remember as many of their dreams, as they aren't as slowed or relaxed, while happy or truly relaxed people do remember. Or maybe I'm just crazy. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I suffer from Social Anxiety and Depression. In a couple of weeks, I begin my freshman year. Reddit, what methods can help me over come my social anxiety, and do you have any similar/related stories to tell? [First Post] POST: First things first, I had extreme emotional problems in 5th grade to the point that I could not get anything done. After a couple of emails home, my mom takes me the a psychiatrist, who proceeds to diagnose me with Social Anxiety and borderline severe Depression. Me being the incompetent child I was, I did not believe anything he said, and refused to take the medicine prescribed to me. That is where I think I made my first mistake, because now, my parents refuse to pay for the medication again. (I have acknowledged my problem, and realize I need it.) 6th and 7th grade passed fine, but I began to develop a problem where I felt uncomfortable talking to adults (excluding my parents) and people I did not know. 8th grade started up normal, except the fact that I knew two of my four teachers on a personal level. They were the mothers of ex. teammates in sports I used to play. For some odd reason, I felt extremely awkward talking to people like that. My depression kicked back into full gear and I basically gave up hope in eighth grade, letting my grades plummet. I managed to bail myself out at the last minute, miraculously letting me graduate to high school. Now, going into my freshman year, I want to help turn my social life around. I want to feel comfortable talking to adults that I do not know. (Sorry Pedos, I can spot you from a mile away, don't even try) I seem to do well with people my age +/- 6 years. I have an adequate amount of friends, and can talk to them with complete confidence. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (21F) with my boyfriend (22m) can't stop thinking about other guys together one year POST: We've had a lot of issues lately with him not putting our relationship before things like video games and me needing some more attention because I've been going through some personal issues and felt alone and not supported. We're currently working on these issues and making our communication better. So I believe I might have depersonalization disorder (have not been diagnosed by a professional but currently working towards that) most of the symptoms fit. I've know there was something 'wrong' with me for a long time, it's always bothered me, so much so that I had a large breakdown with my boyfriend because no way the way I am is normal. I have a really hard time with emotions and I feel like they are considerably duller than they should be except things like anger, depression, and anxiety. It's very hard for me to feel loved and is a constant issue in our relationship. Recently my boyfriend has been as supportive as one can be when they don't understand what's going on. With all of this shit going on I feel like my eyes have been staying a bit... I always wonder what it would be like if I made a move with the guy that really liked me right before boyfriend and I got together, or the buff guy in line behind me... It just keeps going. Guys that I see or briefly talk to... Old friends from a class I took but probably won't see again... I keep wanting to flirt with people or experiment with my bisexuality... I want it to stop. I'm starting to feel like my boyfriend is just my best friend again but with sex added. I don't want to feel that way. I want to stay with him, I love him I really do. How can I stop this? *Can* I stop this? Should I tell him? I refuse to break up before I see no hope. TL;DR:

r/loseit TITLE: 1st SV: Got to Onederland....without realising! POST: This story starts with a visit to the doctor, i had some complaints about my Aunt Flo (TMI) and some major major weight gain, to say i was a blubbering mess doesn't even begin to describe how i behaved at that appointment. My doctor was sympathetic but ultimately unhelpful, told me to significantly lower my caloric intake, even though i was already eating 2 small meals a day, he also weighed me just for the record and i was a whopping 100kg (220lbs). Couple of months went by and I thought lowering my calories wasnt the way to go, i had a realisation that about 90% of my diet was made up of carbs (bread,pasta,rice), so i had a little read of r/keto and decided to lower my carbs, did this for a while and i felt like i was getting nowhere. i even told my sister that i felt like i was putting in some much work and getting nothing in return! Yesterday i went to my local chemist just to see how fat i still was, so i weighed myself and the machine said 89kg (196lbs), thought "that cant be right?!?", weighed myself again 196!! Gave me such a boost to know that something is actually happening, gave me the motivation to keep going. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: People of reddit, what is the most shameful fap you have ever fapped? I'll start. POST: At my house with my girlfriend of the time. Laying in bed watching a movie when sexy times start to ensue. About half way through she finishes and wants me to finish. I suddenly can't stop thinking of that day earlier in school and whether or not I finished an assignment. No amount of refocusing helps and I lose it. She asks if anything is wrong and I decide to tell her, she laughs and says that's kind of pathetic. I silently scold myself and forget about it. About 30 minutes later I'm starting to get into the mood again and this time it a raging hard on and I really want to go at it but she refuses just to mess with me. 10 minutes of begging and I finally give up. I say I have to go to the bathroom and I'll be right back. I obviously proceed to fap. I come back to the room after about 5 minutes and she asks if I just fapped with a look on her face that says she totally fucking knows. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: (32F) Dating a recovering alcoholic (49M) POST: I (32F) have known this man (49M) for about 5 years in Alcoholic Anonymous (AA), and he's a very bad alcoholic. He has been in and out of the program for over 23 years, with some sobriety here and there. Well, this last time, he came back to AA, we starting talking, and I started to have feelings for him, though I had always been attracted to him. I just stayed away from him because of his age and alcoholics in general. My philosophy is/was that I wouldn't want to date someone that has my issues. Well, we decided to get involved this last weekend, and he is a pretty amazing guy. He treats me like a princess, and I am pretty happy right now. I know it's the "honeymoon" phase, but we really click, which is rare for me. But, I am cautious of my feelings because there are no guarantees that he'll stay sober, or even if I will, with 7 1/2 months. I am also a relapser, and that's why I understand him so well. I tend to think a lot, so not thinking for once and using my emotions to guide me feels so freeing right now. What are your thoughts on this? Should I take it as it comes? or GTFO? I'm probably gonna do whatever I want anyway, but maybe I should listen to some sound advice? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [20 M] meet this girl [20 F] over spring break but now with spring break over we need to go separate ways. What do I do? POST: Hey guys, over the spring break, I met this girl at a friend's party. We immediately clicked and spent hours talking and laughing. We went ahead and set up a date for the next day. Just a small date where we spent walking around downtown and sight seeing all her favorite places. I enjoyed every second of it and I could tell she did too. At the end of the day, I told her how much I enjoyed spending time with her and she said she did too. Before I left dropped her at her place, I had to tell her I was only here for a week and had to leave for school in a couple days. I could see she was saddened by it. I kissed her and dropped her off. Now I am laying in my bed wondering what I should do. It's funny how even though I only spent a day with her, I have never felt like that with any other girl. Don't want to sound like a dick but usually girls at parties or some attractive girls I know, I am only attracted to them sexually and nothing more but she was different. I don't know what I should do. I am afraid I might lose her if I don't make a move right now but I don't know if I should ask her to be my girlfriend since we have only been on one date and won't see each other until summer break. I don't know what to do. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [22, F] with m boyfriend[22, M] six months, respecting boundaries vs being passive aggressive POST: My boyfriend's idea of respecting boundaries and trusting me can sometimes result in being passive aggressive. For example, a recent argument we had was after I (f/early twenties) had a night drinking with three of my guy friends as it was a friend's bday(this group of friends originally consists of ten people but the four of us were the only ones who could make it that night). The next day, when my boyfriend found out all three friends were guys he was hurt. His argument is that he trusts me and that he doesn't want to have to ask nosy questions. I should tell him even though he doesn't ask. My argument is that he doesn't ask ANY kind of question. I would be more understanding if he'd asked who I'm drinking with and I answered ambiguously. But he didn't. I told him I'm drinking with friends and he said okay, end of conversation. I get drinking with the opposite sex is a touchy subject and I admit I'm in the wrong in this argument. But It's really the attitude of 'you should have told me' that's bothering me. We had this exact same argument concerning past relationships. He found out I dated three guys when he thought it was only one and he was hurt, giving me the why didn't you tell me? It hadn't occured to me that I was supposed to list all my past boyfriends just because we were talking about one. Again, if he'd just asked me to tell him I would have. But he doesn't ask anything, assuming I would tell him everything anyways. And later, when he hears something new, it's MY fault for not telling him something he didn't ask about. I should have known to tell him. I personally think that if its so damn important to you that it'll bother you, then YOU should be asking the damn questions. So TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I(17M) have know this girl(17F) for a really long time, and I am confused... POST: There is this girl I have known for about 4 years, we have been on and off since then. When we first met, we had a lot of chemistry together. But at the time she was not ready for a relationship, so we stopped talking. About 2 years ago, we started to hang out again and we eventually started dating for about a month. Then she broke it off, and then we stopped talking again. Now fast forward to about 2 weeks ago. She started to text me, and we started to talk again. One thing led to another, and then last Thursday we hung out. It was not a date, but it was just me and her alone. We talked, and nothing else happened. We talked to each other, or said anything since then, I think we are planning to hang out with each other this Thursday. I m confused though. I don't know if she still has any feelings for me, or if she still does. Honestly, I still have some for her. I don't want to be told no if I say anything, I am afraid I will get hurt again. What should I do here? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [21f] am seemingly losing interest in my [23m] boyfriend of 2 years. POST: We've been together for about 2 years, all has been well. I often lose interest in people that I'm seeing fairly fast, I guess our "honeymoon period" has just lasted longer. I know we're great together and I would like to get through this. I recently had a summer class and wasn't able to see him for around 3 weeks. I lost the desire to chat with him and thought a little too much about how I was fine without him. He obviously felt that and asked me about it when I got back. I just told him that it's not odd for me to feel this way and I need stimulation- I mean we're young. We've fallen into a drab routine and he's matured faster than me since he's been out of college. But his maturity is something that I've always respected and enjoyed. I've also lost some interest in him sexually. I have tried to ignore it in hopes it would pass, but I haven't been able to enjoy it. It's mostly just for his pleasure at this point, but I've recently stopped altogether. I can't stop thinking about the possibilities of not being with him while I know I would be regretful if I left him. We're both independent people and not very emotionally- vocally. We haven't talked about love, but I think it's clear that we care about each other a lot. He said that it seems like I'm just keeping him as a friend at this point, which doesn't sound wrong. But it's not my intention. TL;DR:

r/legaladvice TITLE: Manager is changing my hours after the fact to keep me under 40- what can I do POST: I live and work in Maryland at a hospital and I just started a new job a few months ago. My team and I (there is a big batch of employees that started together in this role) have been told since the beginning that we should be staying under 40 hours a week as hourly employees, however, in the last pay period I went over by .3 hours because of my workload. On Monday I checked my time card and my hours were manually changed to fit within 40 hours for each of the two weeks that fell within the pay period (I went over .1 hours the first week and .2 the second week). I can only assume that my manager did this since they manage my time card and hours. At my facility we are to approve time cards at the end of the pay period to say that we agree with what we entered. For this particular pay period, I did not approve my time card because there was an issue with a break that I had emailed my manager and never got a response about. As far as I understand, you are not supposed to approve a time card if there is a discrepancy that has not been fixed. So as far as I know I have done the right thing. Not only was the discrepancy that I emailed my boss about not fixed, but my time was also changed to keep me out of overtime. To top it all off, the same thing happened to one of my coworkers. What do I do now? I don't care particularly much about those .3 hours but I am fairly certain it is not legal to go in and change an employees hours just to keep them out of overtime. I worked those hours and I deserve that pay. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [16/F] boyfriend's [16/M] mum is undergoing surgery. Need help on helping out/making a nice gesture? POST: I've been going out with my boyfriend for around half a year. I just found out that his mum is undergoing a major surgery very soon. She'll be in hospital for a few days afterwards and then will need to spend some time resting at home. I would visit but I'm currently on vacation and will be for the duration of her hospital stay. I've only met his mum only a handful of times but she's absolutely lovely and things have been friendly. I'd love to reach out and send a get well card or maybe even flowers - should I send one whilst I'm away? I also plan to go over and help cook for their family once I come back (as per bf's suggestion). Not really sure what the right thing to do is here! Any extra suggestions on nice things I can do to lift her/their family's spirits whilst I'm away or after I get back would be awesome. Thanks in advance, reddit! TL;DR:

r/jobs TITLE: Assistants: Do you use your personal phone for work? POST: I work as an admin assistant to a real estate agent. I've been at this job for 9 months. I got my own work email 2 months after I started, and I've had it on my phone since. I'm not really sure why I did that in the first place - I guess it was the excitement of having my own email! Recently my boss has been asking me more and more to use my personal phone for business - I communicate by text with almost all of our clients, and most times I text back and forth with other agents when setting up showings. I even have to use it to make calls when I'm away from the office. I feel like I should request a work phone, but I'm apprehensive about asking my boss for that. He only has one phone, and uses it for personal and business, but I don't think it's fair to expect the same of me. Does anyone have any experience with this? TL;DR:

r/Pets TITLE: My dog's anxiety is turning into bad behavior. What can I do? POST: [My dog] is loyal to a fault. She protects her pack doggedly, even when no protection is needed. She's incredibly bright, which is part of the problem. She learns tricks almost instantly, choosing which ones to keep and which to ignore. Here's the behavior I'm worried about: **At the dog park** - She used to be great off-leash. She came when called. She rarely played with other dogs, but happily ignored them. Over time, she developed a habit of burrowing herself into the ground when another dog approached and then popping up to rush the dog at top speed. She always just rushes right by them, but it scares the hell out of people, so I've been putting her back on the leash. **On walks** - We're walking along, calm and happy, when a person approaches with another dog. She pretends to ignore the dog until the last possible second (giving me hope that it'll all be okay). Then, she flips out. Barking, growling, tugging wildly at the leash. If we go over and greet the dog, she's totally fine, but it's hard to convince someone that "she's okay" when she's foaming at the mouth. **At home** - Wild, upset barking when a stranger comes to the door or a car pulls into the driveway. Very different from the "oh hey something exciting is happening" bark. The barking stops quickly, but the outburst is sudden, loud, and happens multiple times a day. I've tried the BarkBusters method (growling at her to show dominance), but it doesn't work in her moments of panic. More recently, I'm trying positive reinforcement, but she ignores rewards in moments of panic. She always looks nervous and watchful. I want a dog that doesn't scare other people...not sure what to do next. Work your magic, pet-enthusiasts of Reddit! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [M25] Drunkenly made out with my new roommate [F23] last night, how can I defuse the situation? POST: Hi, I probably did a huge mistake last night, or at least I'm already regretting it. I just moved on a new flatshare with a guy and a girl, and yesterday we were having our first night out: predrinks, drinks at a pub, and more when coming back to the flat. We definitely managed to break the ice, maybe way too much: after some really light flirting (I am your average guy really oblivious to hints & more...) the girl took me to her room and told me that she wanted to cuddle. Short version, in my intoxicated state, I liked the idea of having sex with her, but I left for my room, she came back to pick me up only in panties and a top 1 hour later. I followed her in her bed, we made out a lot, but she draw a line and we didn't go too far, even managed to keep our underwear on! I left to my room after she felt asleep. Today I'm very happy she prevented us from doing it, and I'm concerned about my relationship to her and the flatshare environment in general. As I told her when we started kissing, for me this was only casual, and I kind of fished for information, seeking if she would be interested in a FWB, which she wasn't keen on; but also telling me that she wasn't looking for anything serious at this moment of her life. I left for work this morning, and won't be able to discuss that with her until tonight. I don't know how she feels about that yet, and I want to find the right words to get her to understand that my priority is having a good (platonic) relationship with my flatmates, and a good atmosphere at home, ideally being close friends. What happened yesterday was because alcohol made me short sighted and I went for what was enjoyable in the moment. My difficulty is that I don't if I should be cold when saying so, or being delicate, friendly and trying to not hurt her feelings. Have you already face something alike? How did you handle it? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [40 M] with my GF [39 F] 6 months, need advice helping with her kids who have an alcoholic father. POST: I've been seeing my GF for 6 months. Things are good. Fairly serious, though we don't live with each other just yet. we spend a lot of time together regardless and we both have kids so that has been a factor. I am a paramedic and work 12 hour shift day and night...so I even if living with her my time with them is limited. Her kids are great....2 girls. Thier father is a raging alcoholic. He has NOT physically hurt them but as any angry individual can he does not make it easy for them to love him. I cannot replace him. I don't aim to do that. I have kids myself and know the difference BUT I want to be positive influence in their lives and need some guidance on how to do that. Books, articles would be appreciated. Thanks! TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: You irritate me...why do I put up with you as a friend? POST: I have known you for a couple years now and yes we are friends but honestly you just really piss me off sometimes. What really annoys me the most is the fact that you are 26 years old, still living at home with mom and stepdad, been working at the same job for 9+ years...(food lion), always bitch and complain about your mom and job, never been on a date/had your first kiss/or have a boyfriend. Seriously, grow the fuck up. I'm tired of your shit. Want to know why your mom is always bitching you out? Because you don't do shit but spend all your money on books and movies. Maybe, if you got your lazy ass up and started looking for better jobs then you could move out and not listen to her bullshit. I'm sick of hearing, "I wish I had a boyfriend"...well dumb bitch maybe if you took 5 min out of your day to actually groom yourself and shave that stache you could have someone. Why do you think the three of us don't like hanging out with you all the time? Because it's the same shit different day. Also, I understand that you're going to be unemployed in a month but that does NOT give you the right to take it out on me...and only me. All I have done was to help you find a better job, helped you with your resume. You decided to be a complete bitch and be ungrateful that YOU have friends willing to help you. How fucking irritating. Maybe you should take my advice and listen. OH WAIT, you won't because apparently it's too difficult for you to comprehend what I say. I just feel like you take our friendship for granted and you're just not grateful for anything that I try to help you with. I do makeovers for you, tell you about new job postings, take you out with me to meet people etc. and all you can do is complain how tired you are and how you don't feel like "being there." TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [24 M] with my Dating Partner/GF pretty much[26 F] of a few months, continues to mention how attractive other men are, and sometimes makes comments that make me question what she is thinking. POST: I understand this has probably been mentioned many times before but would like a fresh perspective. This woman I have been seeing for a few months and have actually known her for longer over a couple years seemingly HAS to mention about an attractive guy she saw or has seen every single date or get together. She does tell me how attractive she finds me but has this little school girl attitude towards men where she says things like "omg he was so hot!" followed by a screech or smile. I also said I would have to send her to prison for something and was totally joking but she said " oh please do, I will be with all those yummy thugs with tattoos." she was joking too but it confuses me as to why she seems so obsessed with having to mention this with the person she has been seeing very seriously for months now. The other thing that just happened today and is now making me question our future is that I am going to the movies with my brother which I asked her if she would like to go but she said she might not be able to, so therefore said I would go with my brother. She said she would let me know if she can go and if she does I told her that he wouldn't mind if she came. She smiled and said "ooh so I can sit between the both of you" with a dirty grin and I knew what she meant. My questions are: is she doing this to see how I react? Is she simply immature about men and has to talk about how hot they are. I understand women do this all the time but to the person they have repeatedly told they miss all the time and really love being with? Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. TL;DR:

r/Parenting TITLE: 3 & 5 year old sons posting school/art work all around their room. POST: I am always very cautious about not over doing the praises and say things like, "That is some good work, you must have worked hard on that." Followed up with "Are you proud of the hard work you have done?" Sometimes we post things on the fridge, sometimes we don't. So my son comes and gets me and says he wants to show me his work. Not unusual, so he takes me to his room (which is unusual to show me his work). All over the walls was his and his younger brothers work EVERYWHERE! It was quite impressive to see. He started by showing me his brothers work, then his own. I again repeat the same kind of statements I usually give. I go ask my wife if this was her idea, she said no, that it was our 5 year olds and she just helped hang some of the harder to reach pieces and helped our 3 year old hang his pieces. I think it is great, but in the back of my mind I wonder if this is the start of being vain. Then I start to think I am over analyzing. Anyways just wanted the collective input from other Reddit Parents. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Single dad (M/33) ready trying to get more time with son. Sons mother (F/32) not ready. POST: I have a son that will be 6 months soon. His mother and I were together for a very short time, I saw that the relationship would not work in the future (we have different values) and ended the relationship. A week later we found she was pregnant. Fast forward, I have been there through the whole process when she informs me, I pay half of whatever child expense we need. I visit every week, for 2 hours at her brothers house, which is where she resides. I have asked for more time, a couple hours privately (pick up at 9am, bring back at 5pm), unsupervised by her. She has said that she is not ready to have him away for that long. I would ask for overnights but she won't even give me a couple hours, so that is out of the question. She let me take him for the holidays (9am-5pm) and called it and "acception, do to the holidays". I do not drink or use drugs, I have a great job. I want to have a good relationship with my sons mother but she will not allow me enough parenting time with our son. I miss him like crazy and the time I spend with him is not enough. So I have decided to see a lawyer and start the process of getting joint legal and physical custody (I live in CA). My questions are, is it wrong for me to just take action with a lawyer? Should I try to negotiate for more time again with her? Should I just stick with professional representation and let the lawyer do his job? And, If you reside in CA and are a single father what is your experience in getting parenting time through the courts? Don't get me wrong, she is a great mother to our son. But I have been feeling left out of my sons life and am tired of waiting for when "she is ready". What say you, redditors? TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: Where Does a Friend-Zone/Relationship Begin? POST: I'm in a situation where this girl(16), whom we shall call "Mam" and I(17), who you can call "Sir" (just for the funnies), are just a great set of friends who see each other quite often, and go to restaurants, shopping, and more quite over-the-top places. We also talk a ton about ourselves and I feel our friendship is growing exponentially. We were friends for 1 year but like I said it was exponential, only these past 2 weeks have been intense. The question is what are the hints of a friend-zone friendship. I'd like to be with this girl, so tips are welcome too. P.S. Reasons why I think she and I are in the friend-zone is, even though we are getting close. She doesn't flirt or show feelings for me(other than a Facebook post that she put up as we were in Applebees about "I find everything he does cute <3", which may or may not be about me). Yet she may not know how to, because shes absolutely gorgeous and the guys go to her. I, on the other hand, have flirted with her. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Sold my motorcycle without having them fill out paperwork, now number is disconnected... Help! POST: So I recently sold my motorcycle(on Wednesday 05/16/12) which is also when they picked it up, it was 1,200 cash and the only reason I didn't have them fill out the paperwork that day was because I had to get the form notarized due to the fact that I lost the pink slip.. She told me everything was fine and that she had work on Friday and that I could drop the paperwork off then.. Friday comes around and she doesn't answer any texts so I leave it alone for the weekend. Monday(today) comes and she still isn't answering texts so I called her and to my surprise the number(which is a Cricket phone) is "temporarily disconnected". I don't have her last name, I don't have her address, I only know a general vicinity around where she works.. I have her phone number, her first name(which might be fake), text messages between us, and a phone recording of the deal happening(I had a weird feeling so I turned my phone recorder on right before they came over).. She seems like a nice lady in person but I understand that could be a front. =\ TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: So, I (m20) was wondering what you guys think of my situation with her (f18) POST: Hey guys, sorry if this is boring or a terrible, terrible post, but I was just wondering what you guys think of this. So I've been seeing this girl for the past few weeks. 3-4 weeks maybe. We seem to have a great connection, and we're always telling each other how much we like each other. The thing is, she was in a 4 year relationship, that ended only a few months ago. Basically, we've talked about getting more serious, which is something I would like, but I obviously don't mind playing it cool and slow, because I don't want her to rush into something she doesn't feel ready for. Anyway, today I decided to write her a love letter, dated today, and I plan to give it to her if we eventually get more serious. The letter is pretty long, and pretty sappy I guess, but could be nice. I'm wondering if you guys thing that will make me seem way too forward or creepy or something? I'd just like to get someone elses opinion on the matter. Sorry for wasting your time! TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, I really need your help. I'm a 20yr old college student and LA fitness just screwed me out of $600 because an employee lied to me. POST: Back in November I was talked into doing some personal training sessions at about $200 a month for 6 months( about $1,200 total). I had just moved to Florida because I transfered schools and figured I'd get a job and could afford it. I didn't get a job and this turned out to be too much to handle so I went to talk about canceling. The girl I talked to said it would be a $400 fee to cancel which I couldn't afford so I asked her if I just stopped going to sessions they wouldn't charge me. She said yes they would not charge me if I stopped. So today I go to buy groceries and my debit card gets denied. Turns out they had charged me $200 last month and had just charged me another $200. I go to LA to complain and try to get my money back and they tell me what the girl said was not true and that they don't even believe me. Keep in mind I only used a months worth of personal training and I paid for it. They had charged me for my unused sessions for the last 2 months. I asked for a refund and they refuse because I signed a contract (that the employee hurried me through in the first place). Now I have %15 to my name and another 2 $200 bills in the future. I want to know if there is anything I can do. Also I have about $720 worth of personal training sessions. Maybe I can find someone to buy them. Thank you for the help. I'm desperate. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (23F) ex boyfriend's (24M) new girlfriend (22F) wants me to stop spending time with his daughter (6F) POST: Okay, I'll try to keep this short and completely factual because I really would like to do what is best for everyone. Mike and I were together (lived together with bri for about a year and a half) for 3 and a half years before we decided to split about a year and a half ago because we agreed we were better suited as friends (and he had a part of his life that I couldn't handle as a romantic partner). We ended up staying close afterwards and it has really worked out well because I absolutely love his daughter, Bri. She and I spend a lot of time together and she has come to know me as sort of a close aunt type of figure and I view her as basically my niece. I watch her probably 3 times a week while Mike is at work, and it just kind of works out for us both. Anyways, the problem sort of started maybe a few weeks ago. Mike started seeing a girl names Lisa. I was honestly glad Mike had found someone to make him happy. He hadn't yet introduced her to Bri, but this past week or so she found out how much time I spent with her and I guess it made her pretty upset because she messages me on Facebook saying that i need to stay away from Bri and Mike. She demanded that I cut all contact with them and that if I cared for Bri at all I'd leave now. This broke my heart. Most of the time I spend with her is really without Mike...  and she and I have grown incredibly close. I taught her how to swim, how to spell, how to tie her shoes... Anyways, Bri was abandoned by her mother when she was 2 and I know she has issues with abandonment. I love her to death and I don't know what I'd do without being able to see her ever again. Despite all this I want to do what is best for her and I guess that's where you guys come in. What should I do now? Would it be better for her in the long run jf I back off and stop seeing her, or should I go a different rout? I'm going to be talking to Mike about it on Wednesday.. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Feeling like I'm [F16] too dependent on my boyfriend [M18] of 2 years and/or his physical proximity POST: Okay, so, I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years, it's both of our first relationships and I am in love with him. Recently (past year or so) I've developed noticeable mild depression. My boyfriend's been incredibly supportive and helpful, and was the one who originally got me to go see a therapist. However, recently I've been finding that I've been getting mildly distressed when I have to leave after catching up with him (we see each other only for a few hours each Friday). Recently I've also been getting a tightness in my chest that I'm about to cry, which pops up at inopportune moments and can be debilitating, this is the case of mild distress. Generally having Friday as the day I see him, it's the light at the end of the tunnel that gets me though, but today he had to call a raincheck on us catching up. Last Friday we didn't catch up either, and the only time we've seen each other in the past 2 weeks is a few hours for a movie and lunch, which just made me miss him more. When he cancelled on today, it felt like the light went out in the week and I can't be bothered doing anything, completing any study, going to work or doing any hobbies. I feel very upset when I think about not being able to physically hold him for another week. I think this is impacting what I do in a bad way, a really bad way. He's generally the only person that makes me feel better, so when I get really upset, he's the one I turn to. When he can't help or we can't catch up my mood spirals into depression. Do I talk to him about this? Do I find someone else to make me feel better? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: 15/m My ex 16/f will not stay out of my life! What do i say to her? POST: So long story short this girl and i dated for a year and then she *made* me break up with her on our 13th month. I was foolishly in love with her so much, but she didnt feel the same way and i couldnt accept that. So she makes me say the whole break up deal (which of course ripped me to shreds) but that she still wants to remain best of friends. I just said alright but didn't want to talk to her for a while because of how much pain she put me through during the last few months of our relationship. Now she is trying to get involved with my current girlfriend (whom ive been with for about 3 weeks now) and wanting to become her best friend so that she and her own current boyfriend can go on a "double date" with us. I cannot stand having her do all this, especially after *she's* the one who wanted me out of her life. So whats an easy way of saying, "Get the hell out of my life, bitch" without sounding like an asshole? The only reason i dont want to sound mean is because her parents are fairly close to mine and talk quite often. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [25/F] thinking of asking a colleague [35/M] out POST: Both of us are relatively new to the company - he joined in November while I joined in March. We sit back to back and work together in the same practice with 11 other people. In total, the firm has about 100 individuals. We talk all the time in the office, and from what I know he rarely speaks with our other colleagues. He asked me out for lunch few weeks back, and for a drink about a week ago. We got quite drunk, locked out of the office, and I got bit cuddly. Gave him a hug before I left and stuff. I share my work week between two cities, and this week spent 3 days in city A. Everyday, he'll text me and ask "How's city A?" and we'll have a bit of a chat. A few days ago, there was a bit of a problem with one of my projects, and he stood up for me and told one of the seniors not to put the blame on me. Went out for a quick pint afterwards, a senior joined us and apparently we're already known as the "lovebirds". TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [31 M] and my BF [27F] Don't seem to be friends anymore. POST: 10 years ago I became fast friends with a girl from work. Since then we hung out twice a week and talked/texted most days. We were confused kids, chainsmoking and rambling around LA night after night. She tended to lean harder on me but it was ok. We were screw ups, but we grew out of that together. I helped her with college papers when I could, she helped me build my driving buisness. Lately things have gone great for her, dating a decent successful guy and landed her first big job. She expected to get a promotion last week. Me, not so much. My SO left over a year ago and I've had no success since. My industry more or less died. I wasn't a sad sack about it but i think it caused a divide. I'm sad because i know I don't fit into her new life and social circle being single and blue collar. It's been a couple weeks and since we're FB buds and live 1/2 mile from each other it seems like I should leave this alone. I'm just sad. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I [23/f] have been torn between two different people and it's eating away at me inside [m/23] and [m/27]... POST: So I've [23/f] known R [m/23] and L [m/27] since I was young. I'm good friends with both of them, and we have a strong connection. I was in an exclusive relationship and living with L [m/27] for about 2 years, but I recently moved out and have gone back to school. We did not officially break up when I moved out, but we recognized it may be difficult to stay together (we're both very busy and now live several hours away from each other.) Since I moved, we went 6 months without seeing each other, and then we were able to take some time off and take a trip together. Now I happen to live closer to R [m/23]. I've been seeing R, and L knows about this and claims he's okay with it and still wants to see me when he can. However, I don't think I can deal with an open/poly relationship. I feel like I'm going crazy, and keep having intense dreams, mostly involving L's family arguing with me because I'm seeing R. Am I being selfish? Should I just stop seeing R, and only see L/ To add another level of confusion to this, my family hates L [m/27] and loves R [m/23]. They are both very different people. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I feel bad. Did I do the wrong thing? POST: For a university project I had to work together with someone I know fairly well. However the communication between us was bad. During the year I worked on it on my own, while he was busy with other tasks (other projects he also was enrolled in). Only on the day before the deadline did we really work together. It seems as if he wanted to put enough effort into it, but didn't have the time or the skills. I send an email to inform them that he didn't contributed that much. Today we had to present/defend our project and they asked some normal questions about the project to gauge the situation. He couldn't answer them correctly. They continued by asking detailed question on how the work was divided.. that was really annoying. And I felt bad when they asked him a specific question and he couldn't answer. After the presentation I could see he felt bad. And I didn't know what to say. Now I feel bad myself because I informed them about the problem. I feel I could have tried harder to get him to work, or talked about it in person first. I tried to pretend there wasn't a problem, still talked to him normally.. So what's bothering me now is that I did the wrong thing, and that I now think he basically hates me, or at least lost a lot of trust. TL;DR:

r/jobs TITLE: I fought for it and won! POST: Almost a year ago, I left home and moved across the country to follow my passion and my dreams. I had no real prospects, no apartment, just some money, my degree, and a car load of stuff. For 11 months I sent out countless applications for anything related to my field to just try and get even a pinky-toe in the door. After a while I was really down on myself, my career choice, my degree, everything. I thought I was going to be relegated to food service and retail jobs the rest of my life and that made me very depressed. One of the things that kept me level was this subreddit. It gave me solace knowing that many people were going through the same struggles and many of them were finding ways to succeed after they kept fighting. A few days ago I was offered, a position at a startup working in the field I've been trying to claw my way into in one of the most competitive cities in the country. If I hadn't been at work when I got the news I probably would have cried out of joy. I start this week and I'm nervous, excited, and a ton of other things, but mostly trying to focus on not screwing up this chance. So thanks, /r/jobs for helping me keep my sanity. Hopefully my success can help someone else who is struggling as I was. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [21/m/gay] Why doesn't the guy [20/m] I've been talking to for two months ask questions about me? POST: I (21/m) met a guy (20/m) on OKCupid two months ago, and we soon moved our conversation onto Facebook. After chatting for a while and observing one another's online personality for a couple weeks, we then had a Skype date. We live about 6 hours away, but I told him that I would like to visit him. He was excited, and we have since set a date for an upcoming weekend. We text everyday, and he often initiates it. He sends me pictures and videos and has been somewhat flirty in the past, but only I after initiated it by telling him how cute and intelligent he was, etc. Now when I make flirtatious comments he doesn't reciprocate, but beyond this there is no indication that he doesn't want to continue to pursue a relationship. Since we have started talking he has asked very few questions about me and our conversations are dominated by his daily minutia. I get play-by-play updates of everything he's doing. I like him, but I want to know that he's actually interested in me. Honestly, I think I have a lot to offer if he would occasionally ask, "So, what are you up to?" or "What do you like in "x" category?", etc. Why doesn't he ask about me? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [F24] snooped on my Bf [24] ex, now feel disgusted POST: Me [F24] and my bf [24] have been dating a year, he is my first relationship. My bf has one previous gf from about two year ago, who he doesn't talk about. His friends have made multiple comments to me about her implying she wasn't good for him and that they are glad I'm dating my bf. The other day, while my bf was out, I accessed his fb and read through messages to find out her name, what she is like and how she looks. She is uneducated, farm worker, party hard girl who goes through bfs - the total opposite of me and my bf. I also found that he still has her number on his phone. I feel disgusted and sad, because it was special to me to save my virginity and love for my bf. He, on the other hand, threw away his virginity to a person who probably didn't care and dumped him within weeks. Also, he met her online, and I think he was desperate to have sex with anyone - again the opposite of what I believe. I know the past is the past, but I feel on her level now and connected to her and all her previous bfs and so on via sex - not to mention STDs. And, yes I feel guilty because I should not have snooped without permission. On the other hand, my bf kind of pretends he is like me - inexperienced virgin - probably to avoid hurting my feelings, but this is just not true. It also makes me question his judgement. I'm very selective and initiated the relationship with my bf based on his good qualities. Now I'm wondering if he would just date anyone who asked him. Should I talk to my bf about this? I don't want to upset him by confessing to snooping and how I feel, but I irrationally think about his ex gf a lot now. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [16m] commitment issues w [15f] POST: So basically I've know this girl for like 4 months but have been talking with this girl for a little less than 2 months and there's an attraction between us and it's only been getting stronger. But recently I got in contact with her best friend and we talked about the girl I'm interested in. And she says that she's realllyyy into me but it's complicated. And by complicated she said that the girl I like doesn't want a relationship. But idk what to do cause I'm really tired of waiting for this girl to come around. And it's uncertain when she will. And I'm thinking what's the fucking point if she's not going to commit. What do I do? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: How do I [f23] help my boyfriend [m23] cope with the unexpected death of his father? POST: I'm currently feeling helpless in a situation I did not think I would encounter at such a young age. I am a 23 as is my boyfriend. We met in college and have been dating for 3 years, but have known each other for 5. We graduated college, moved to the same city together and things have been going along really wonderfully. 2 weeks ago out of the blew, he received a call that his father (with whom he had a difficult relationship with but ultimately looked up to ) passed away suddenly. I flew home with him, tried to help as I could and I'm entirely supportive of anything that he needs. Now understandably so, he has been incredibly distant -- lost in thought and wanting to spend most of his time alone. I know that this is part of the grieving process, but it has been such a shock to my system as the dynamic of our loving relationship has changed in the blink of an eye. I'm very aware of not being selfish and not trying to take any of his actions personally but it is much easier said than done. I've let him know continously that I'm here if he wants to talk, but basically my questions is *How do I help him cope without both smothering him with support, leaving him by himself too much, or trying to distract him without seeming unsympathetic. I would love to hear from anyone who has been the supportive bf/gf in this type of situation and had it work, there are far too many stories on the internet of it failing horribly as the person changes after such a huge tragic experience. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 6 months, are having trust problems. POST: So I'd like to preface this with this girl means the world to me. I've been in 3 serious relationships and I know that she is somebody I'd do anything for. About one or two months ago I lied to her about going out and smoking with my friends, but about 5 minutes after I lied I immediately fessed up and felt terrible. It just popped out of my mouth and I had no premeditation to do it. She's never given me a reason to think she'd ever frown on my smoking, she's said several times she's cool with it. I can just tell she'd prefer it if I didn't. Which is why I've since quit smoking weed. Since we worked it out we've been having a wonderful time together, no problems. But this morning she was distant after a great night. At first in the morning we were all smiles and she was fine but she told me she was scared I'd lie to her again. When she told me that, I broke down crying my ass off. I haven't cried like that in years but the thought of her not being able to trust me or possibly breaking up with me because of it is terrifying. We talked through it and she said she'd trust me again. We went to work and things were normal. I picked up some headphones she asked me to grab for her at work and then when I went to drop off the headphones at her work she started commenting on how I was dressed nicer than usual in "date" clothes. I had picked up some new shoes the day before and wore a dress shirt I got a little earlier because I've been talking about changing up my dated wardrobe- I honestly wanted to look good for her but she thinks I have ulterior motives because I usually wear PJ's around her- reason for that is we always just hang out in her apt or at my parents house and play video games. No reason to dress up. So now I'm sitting here with a pit in my stomach and at a total loss of what to do to make things right. TL;DR:

r/college TITLE: Is moving to Europe from the US for college a realistic goal? POST: Hello r/Education, a bit of background. I'm from the United States (Texas specifically), I have two associate degrees, one of Arts and the other of Sciences, and am looking for schools to go to so I can complete my bachelors degree in marine science. I've applied and been admitted to the local schools, which average a cost of $20k including room and board. So now that I have been admitted, paying for school is the challenge. If I am correct, the most I can receive in federal aid is ~$5,600, if I am eligible for that much. The rest would be paid by scholarships I can get, any money the school might give me, and loans. With that in mind, I have read about people moving to Scandinavian countries (as well as Germany) to complete school, as you can opt to learn the language and attend school as long as you show the government that you are making a livable wage. I also hear that getting a job and place to stay are a pain due to the EU bureaucracy. I would like to ask a few questions that hopefully get some answers from those more knowledgeable than I. * Does moving to the EU from an outside country require many months of paperwork in advance on my end? If so, what exactly would I need to find a job and place to stay? * Is this type of move actually viable in obtaining an education? Especially in the sense of studying marine sciences? * Is there a specific country/city that specializes in these types of transfers? I've heard a lot about Sweden and Denmark, but I don't know if that's because a lot of people tend to gravitate there for other reasons as well. * How competitive is the job market there? I have limited experience outside of theme park work (silly I know), but have done a lot there such as supervisory work and operating heavy machinery. How much money should I bring there? I'll be at work today so I can really study myself about this decision, but I thought I'd ask reddit just to see any opinions and anecdotes you guys can provide. TL;DR:

r/GetMotivated TITLE: [Text] How to get in mindset of deadline fast approaching when it is actually a ways away? POST: I find myself doing everything but working on my art. I love working on art its my life but I get distracted by TV episodes and working on other personal art that isn't on deadline, or doing chores and cleaning or a million other things. But when it comes down to the last few days I have no problem sitting down and working. Its easy and enjoyable and I look forward to it. I want that mindset all the time. But I've tried just saying in my head its due tomorrow let's do this and that doesn't seem to stick. Maybe writing in my planner/calendar a false due date to trick myself? What do you guys think? Anybody had any similar issues or have any suggestions? Thanks! TL;DR:

r/Dogtraining TITLE: Please help, puppy won't stop biting at dryer. POST: Hi sorry if this has been asked before but I can't find any info on it. Basically my 6 month old is a huge attention seeker. As far as she is concerned any attention is good attention even after being naughty, my main concern at the moment is she is biting and eating the dryer in the kitchen. I have tried sellotape - she eats it. It tried wetting the tape and putting pepper on it - she ate that. The worst part is she knows she is doing wrong because she bows her head when I point at it and ask "what's this?!" I've tried time outs, positive reinforcement for good behavior, but she is so stubborn and very sneaky as well I have never been able to catch her at it. What else can I do? are there any other house hold products that will repel a very inquisitive and attention seeking puppy.( to give you another idea, at the mother in laws she likes to eat stones, if I say no as she picks it up she looks at me as she picks it up, and then runs around like a nutter and the only thing that stop her is a muzzle, but as soon as it's off she starts again) TL;DR:

r/jobs TITLE: I want to find a new job...how can I do this without my current employer finding out? And also help with scheduling interviews? POST: I'm tired of my current job (I work with autistic children). It's not a terrible job and I do love the kids, but it's very physically draining and I realize now that it's not really something I enjoy. I want to start looking for another job, maybe something like a research assistant or something that would look good for grad school. I don't really know how to go about it though. I want to add my current job to my resume - I feel like it looks good and shows good work ethic and experience with therapy. How do I keep potential employers from calling my current job, though? How can I go about this without my current employer knowing? I've never tried looking for another job while employed before, so this is kind of a weird position for me. Could I maybe put a warning on my resume not to contact that employer, just to be safe? Also, how can I schedule interviews? I work from 8 to 4 on Monday to Fridays, not to mention I live an hour away (another reason I want to change jobs). How would it be possible for me to schedule interviews when I'm not free from 7 to 5 everyday? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I (23M) chase my girlfriend (21F) across the country? POST: We went to college on the west coast together and got together just over 11 months ago. We slowly crept up into a relationship status and we love each other very much. I graduated in May and moved back home to Hawaii. We agreed to continue the relationship because the distance isn't THAT bad (she's actually from Asia, so half the ticket cost going home). She'll be graduating in December, and our plan was to have her come live with me in Hawaii. But here's the thing: her mom called recently and told her that she is having a difficult time in Asia and wants to move to New York with her (they both have dual citizenship). The mother owns property in Jersey just overlooking New York, so rent will not be an issue. They both welcome me to join them, except that I can't sleep with my girlfriend in the same bed, kiss/hug her in public, or be left alone with her in the house (crazy Asian mothers :X) For myself, I just recently got hired with a one year commitment so the earliest I could move to them would be September 2013, and I would have to restart all of my networking that I've done/will do in the next year. I love my girlfriend and I want to be with her... but I understand her mother is very important to her and I have family of my own in Hawaii... we're both relatively stressed about this... as the months pass and start to approach December. Her mom does not want to move to Hawaii, or anywhere else other than her apartment in New Jersey. We talk about this problem, a lot. We feel that our careers and our families are pulling each other apart. I know ultimately we'll both have to make a decision, but I feel the pressure is all on me. Should I continue this relationship? Should I focus on my career? The women in Hawaii are very friendly, gorgeous and beautiful, but I've fallen in love with my girlfriend. We're definitely not going to get married until I'm 30 (promise I made to myself). Please let me know your thoughts reddit, I'm completely lost and the stress is overwhelming!! TL;DR:

r/cats TITLE: Bringing home puppy! POST: You guys have been super helpful in the past, so although I've been reading up plenty on introducing a new puppy to my cat, I thought I'd see if y'all have any tips. The situation: my cat is a 4 year old, 15 lb Maine coon mix that I adopted when he was a kitten. He's pretty chill - he's (mostly) leash-trained, can "come" and "sit" on command, loves car rides, very people-oriented, never sprays. (I didn't know anything about cats when I got him so I just pretend he's a dog half the time.) He's lived with dogs before for 1-3 months at a time; he's not a fan of big dogs (and HATES other cats), but he is fine with dogs his size or smaller. He does tend to be pretty "alpha" in these relationships once he gets to know the dog. The puppy is a ~3 month old pom/chihuahua mix who currently weighs 7.5 lbs and is unlikely to get bigger than the cat. He's not house or leash trained yet, so we'll obviously need to start there. Both animals are fixed. Otherwise, I don't know the puppy yet - he's arriving this weekend from a rural shelter down south. We live in an apartment in Upper Manhattan - it's quiet and large, for Manhattan, but will probably still be small and noisy for the country pup. That also means that we'll have to leash-train immediately since we have no yard access. I've got a wire crate for puppy and have moved my cat's food and litterbox to high surfaces where they're safe from the dog. So that's the scenario. Tips or personal experience with introduction and getting these guys to live peacefully together? Most of the things I read involve not scarring the cat for life, which I certainly don't want to do, but with this size discrepancy and the fact that the cat plays pretty rough, I'm actually just as worried about the cat hurting the dog. TL;DR: