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r/relationships TITLE: (25m)(20f) I'm somewhat terrified of the prospect of an open relationship, do they even work? POST: 1. So I met this girl close to 3 years ago through school, we hung out quite a bit at some point I just fell for her. Let's call her Jen and I can be John. I have no idea what exactly it is about Jen but I love her dearly. I believe it has to do with how personal and deep our conversations would go. We're similar enough that we get along amazingly, but different enough that we still stay interesting to each other. There's one little snag though, she identifies as lesbian. Other than that, we basically treat each other as a couple anyways. 2. Now, normally that would kill any feelings I'd have towards someone since it'd basically be a lost cause. We've had some...encounters (she was of legal age), and it's always been a bit nebulous as to if she's totally gay or bi. I think it has been a think we've both wondered for a while. We've talked extensively how much we love each other and how we'd probably be married right now if she was born differently. I truly believe that we love each other as much as two people can without actually having dated. 3. So fast forward to now (and the gist of my question), we've both come to the conclusion (independently I might add) that an open relationship could work for us. At least for the time being (she's never really been with a guy) she feels like she'll crave a girl at some point. I love her enough to actually consider giving this type of relationship a try, but I'm terrified because I really want it to work out. We're sort of in a limbo period before we actually try this for reasons I'd rather not discuss. **Questions** Anyone have experience with an open relationship? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the hardships, rules that you have for each other, long term prospects (can it last?), anything would be helpful. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [25 M] - questioning how to handle friends when they cancel plans. [Non-Romantic] POST: Over the years I've always wondered how others deal with canceling of plans, on the receiving end. Let's say you invite a friend to go boating or out to dinner. They say that X day or night isn't good for them, and it's left up to -let's do it another night or weekend. Do *you* be the one to bring it up again, and invite weeks later? Or do you let the "cancelee" be the one to bring up plans of doing said activity? Is the ball in their court? I don't want to be overbearing, annoying, or frankly be told *no* multiple times. I know I'm overthinking it, but how do you know when to leave it in their court, not think about it, or simply cut ties and let them do all the friendship work? Or, do you think about whether they actually don't like said-activity? It seems I cut ties rather quickly if someone cancels on me 2-3 times. Do you give it a few months to blow over or just wait for them to contact you to make any plans? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Bf (19M) says he misses being single but still wants to be with me (18F). [3 Years] POST: This sounds confusing and I'm not even exactly sure how everything went down last night on Skype IM but basically said he didn't want to hurt me with his playing video games all of the time (because we depend on communication) but then he said he didn't want to break up. He went on about how he missed being single and didn't have to worry about anyone else being hurt in his life. Lately, I got the feeling that he might have been causing arguments on purpose just to break up (the weird coward way though). But then last night I confronted him and he said I was making an extreme assumption. What do I do? I suggested we pause so he can concentrate on university and also do things he like but he doesn't want that. AND he also gets really upset with me - like too easily. Should I just give him space and try to not be argumentative? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [21F] with my friends [20s M] 2 guys in my friend group are fighting and their tactics are getting more and more disturbing POST: Hi Reddit, Here is the situation. Two men in my friends group are in a fight. It has divided my friend group pretty much in half as people have chosen sides. One of the men (Todd) threw a brick through the other's (Alan's) window. Alan stole some property out of Todd's storage unit. Todd has been putting up ads saying Alan's business is now closed when it is still open. etc. etc. They are both playing dirty. What disturbs me now is that they are getting other people involved. Todd came across naked pictures of Alan's sister. Todd is now threatening to print the pictures and post them all over the front of Alan's shop for his whole family and all the customers to see. The thing is, Todd is keeping the pictures a secret to use as his "secret weapon" if Alan does anything else. I am not involved in this fight. I have stayed out of it from the beginning. But I think it is crossing a line by getting other people involved in their pettiness. And ultimately I feel like Alan's sister's reputation will suffer more as a consequence for these guys' actions and that's not really fair. I am a friendly-acquaintance of Alan's sister and have her as a friend on Facebook. Should I alert Alan's sister and let her know about the pictures? Should I tell her who has them or tell her to be careful? Or should I just stay out of it? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Two guys from work [around 30M] purposely mispronounce my [25F] name and make fun of my accent POST: I recently moved from a French area of my country to an English only one. My English isn't great, I sometimes don't know what the right word for something is and I don't work with anyone else who speaks French to help me. I'll ask sometimes "what's the word for..." and I thought that would be okay but these two guys I work with have been starting to make fun of me for that. They also say my name wrong. My name is Éléonore and they pronounce it as El-lay-o-nor-ee. I've told them many times how to pronounce it correctly but they think it is funny to pronounce it wrong. They often speak to me in a very anglicized French which I find very rude, they won't even bother trying to make the words sound French so it seems insulting. We don't have a boss right now as she got a new job and I don't want to contact the CEO about something so small, and it would make me seem bad for not being able to fix my own problems. The two guys also flirt with me and compliment me on my appearance a lot so they don't hate me. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: I was suspended from school for a week because I had pink hair and was told not to come back in until it was gone because it would stop me from getting good grades, reddit what is the most stupid thing you have gotten in trouble for at school? POST: I had my hair completely pink going back to school after the summer holidays. The day before I was due to start my leaving cert exams I get called to the office and the principal is waiting for me. He asked me why I had pink hair and I told him the truth that I had got it done while on holidays in Ibiza, he then handed me a note to give to my mother when I got home saying I was suspended for a week and that I was to remove the pink from my hair. I reminded him I had my exams starting tomorrow and he told me I would not be sitting them for my ignorance and lack of respect for my school. My mother was furious and tried to appeal to the board of education but to no luck. I left school after it and now I'm going to be able to sit my exams this year. I still have my pink hair but would of gladly dyed it to stay in school. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 /F] with my boyfriend [19 M] 3 months, cheated on him early in relationship (Halloween) with ex boyfriend on a drunk night out. POST: I ended up getting so drunk (I know that isn't an excuse) and seeing my ex boyfriend out. He called me later on in the night and asked if i would meet him. Me being stupid, went and met him, then he ended up staying at mine and we slept together. I really don't know whether to tell my boyfriend the truth or let it get buried. Now me and my boyfriend have got closer, I wouldn't dream of cheating on him. Please some advice on whether to tell him everything or to forget it every happened? Thank you :) TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [21F] boyfriend [21M]: "We can't have sex till we're prepared financially for a child" POST: My boyfriend and I are in college and have been together for 3 years, we're third-year students in a four-year program. We have a loving relationship and we're close friends too. We've discussed engagement and he's mentioned proposing to me after graduation, and I'm thrilled about that. Maybe I've been reading too much reddit and having unrealistic expectations, but I'm a little worried about our future sex life. We're both virgins--he wanted to wait for marriage for non-religious reasons. This isn't a problem for me, I usually masturbate to take care of my relatively high sex drive. However, he has often said that sex is impractical until we're ready to take care of a possible child. By this he means financially stable, both employed, with a home. Unfortunately, this won't be for a long, long time. I'm planning on medical school and here in the US that involves a 4 year stint in school and a 3 year residency for my field, so I won't be a doctor till I'm at least 29, let alone established and financially stable. He plans to enter the workforce after graduation with a comp sci degree, so he'll have money. I'm on birth control and we can always buy condoms, but he says he wants to be 100% sure and doesn't trust even the smallest chance of pregnancy (he has some OCD-like behaviors if that's important at all). I guess my question is, is his assertion realistic? Will I be able to masturbate away my will to have sex for the next several years? I do love this man and want to start a family and life with him, so I'm not even considering a breakup. Also, if my friends ask me about my married sex life, what will I say? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [first post] F(18) should I be worried about my boyfriends m(19) habit to text this one girl every time we fight? POST: Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now. We got into our first argument about 3 months into our relationship over something stupid and he decided to have a party at his house. The next day he dumps me and then I see he has pictures with him and his "family friend" holding each other and what not. About a week later we got back together and decided that our argument was stupid and we needed to grow up a bit, but I disregarded seeing the pictures because I didn't think much of it. Today I found out that he has been flirt-texting with this girl aka "family friend" and every time we have gotten into a little argument he goes and texts her.I did confront him about it and he said he didn't want to stop texting her because it would look bad to his family since shes really close to them. I'm concerned that maybe hes only with me because she has a boyfriend and I don't understand why shes so important to him that hes willing to lose me over it? Should I be worried? Also she sleeps at his house occasionally after family parties, he has cheated on me before, his family hated me at this time because I threatened to tell his boss that he slept with his 15 year-old daughter... but I didn't (yes very immature of me)... And yes I have herd why don't you just leave him? Well I am not someone who just leaves because of a mistake, where I come from you fix things, not run away from them. I don't believe a cheater is always a cheater under certain circumstances. In his defense he was intoxicated and has never experienced sex with another women other then me. **Tell me please if I am wrong? What I should do? How I should handle this? I just don't want to lose my best friend. HELPPPP?!?!??!?! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [22 F] with my [21 M] (ex) boyfriend/fiance.. 8 months, lives in a reality where he is a fuck-up and "can't be with me" POST: This is cross-posted with /r/bpd because that is something I deal with. Tonight, a very turbulent relationship with someone who was a close friend of mine for years ended. We dated shortly when we were 17 and have harboured feelings of love for each other ever since. The last 8 months were over long-distance, and we were engaged. We have the most amazing connection, one where I feel like being with him is home. Tonight, that was taken away. I have had issues in the past with hating myself and therefore criticizing him a lot. I've gotten better in the past month, doubled up the therapy, upped my medication. However, we got to a point last week where he began to distance myself. He had internalized my criticisms to the point of not being able to be with me because he was a fuck-up, because he attributes my horrible past year to himself, because he feels like he can't be what I want to be. I gave it every thing I could and in the end it was just "I can't. I'm a fuck up. I am not ready to be the person you want me to be." No matter how much I convinced him the person who I wanted was him, he left. He told me he couldn't and he had to go, and he shut me out. He was sure he would disappoint me, would make me sad and put it all on him. He told me he was a failure, he had failed at making me happy, and that was it. The long distance ended this month, we were moving in together. Things were going to be different and I told him that. So I drove away with a broken heart, wishing with all I had that I could have convinced him that he was what I wanted. I really need comfort and advice right now. My world is falling apart. I've just graduated University and was about to move out to be with him. Everything I had seems like it's disappeared. I am heartbroken. TL;DR:

r/dogs TITLE: A question about my hypoallergenic dog. POST: I met and brought home my German Shepherd mix about 5/6 yrs ago when she was 4 from the shelter. She was (is kinda still) very timid and shy, but the sweetest and most grateful dog I've ever been involved with. Slowly throughout the years, she has gradually become more and more itchy, to the point where I was taking her to the vet every 3 mos or so for them to tell me its fleas, give me some antihistamines and medicated shampoo and send me home. I finally found a vet who took a skin culture and told me she has zero (0) fleas on her, but that she is having allergic reactions to something and that it is being exacerbated by the summer heat. cool. I got the "Blue" brand "wildlife diet" (no grains, no fillers. just meat and veggies) and have been being vigilant in keeping her away from the other pets' food. My question is this : Can I still give her fresh meat? what about bones? I just made split pea soup and usually give her the smoked hock afterwards... There are no grains and it's not processed, but I do not want to ruin any progress we've made so far. I was rewarding her regularly before and feel guilty I haven't found appropriate treats yet. Like i stated earlier, she is SO GOOD and sweet but has no confidence, treats have been a great/easy way to tell her she is being a good gir (all her papers joked about how HIGHLY motivated by food she is). TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: how to react when a one night stand with a close acquaintance goes badly?? NSFW POST: I am in grad school and ours is a pretty small program. Most of my classmates are married or in a committed relationship which leaves very few fish in the sea. Last week one of my classmates who was quite close to me quit the program. Both used to spend a lot of time together as we had a lot of common interests ( lots of bar hangouts, both smokers and coffee fans, common TV and movie interests). We never really had anything for each other and were just good friends. She's a local and I am asian so I kinda had no expectations either. In the sort of a going away party we had a lot of alcohol at her place. A smaller group of us decided to head out to grab a bite and then to another bar, I was quite tipsy at this stage. I was struggling to go get back home when she asked me to stay back, I was not sure at first, then thought the couch is better than passing out on the grass somewhere. Once we got to her place, she took me to her room and we started making out. Here's where the problem comes in, I think the excess alcohol diverted the blood from down under to elsewhere and I was not able to get it up both tried and we were not getting anywhere so we hit the sack. Next morning we tried again and the same thing repeated itself. I could clearly she she was kinda unsettled. I have spent the last 36 hours looking up for some sort of answer as I am trying to get some closure on this. We haven't spoken since and she will be leaving in a day or two. Any suggestions on how to minimize the akwardness?? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Unhappy with my wife (both 26). She's gotten us no income for more than a month, and has let opportunities to do so slip by. POST: Basically it's as the title says. She quit her job due to sever depression for which she needed serious psychiatric help. I was, and have been, more than supportive of her. However, she's done not a whole lot to get us some income in the past month and a half and we're at our wits end. We have $100 to cover food and bills for both of us and our dog for the entire month of May. She tried to get on EI, but she needed a slip from her old job. She called them twice, and never again. They couldn't process her EI claim until they got it which she didn't find out until she called them more than a month after starting her claim. Now she can't get EI until at least the end of the month because the only person who's legally allowed to issue her that slip at her old job is on vacation. She said she was going to get a micro loan ($500) from our bank to help us out so we're not so strung out. I've asked her three times this week and she hasn't done it. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: What is your favorite "I was so drunk..." story? POST: We all have those stories that begin with "I was so drunk" or some variation thereof. What's your favorite? Funny, sad, epic, etc... Mine is not my most epic drunk story, but the time I was silly-wine-drunk watching my friend play Red Dead Redemption. As he was playing, he goes "Oh, Peter Turner died." I thought he said *Tina* Turner, and sobbed inconsolably for twenty minutes about "the death of a great American dream." After a few other friends managed to calm me down, my friend playing the game texted me going "Did you hear? Tina Turner just died!" and the cycle began again. TL;DR:

r/jobs TITLE: My friend is in a crap job and is being used. What options does she have? [xpost from r/AskReddit] POST: Hi Reddit, So I recently became aware of how poorly a friend of mine is being treated at her job and I was wondering what options she had available. Here's the situation: * She works for an international security firm in Rhode Island, but from what I understand, the home office has a small to medium sized staff. (I'm not going to name the company but you can PM me if you must know) * She has no sick days * She gets two weeks vacation but she can only take them in May and June and if someone else is out, she can't take them. * She is salary but has no set limit on hours per day or week. This means she often ends up working weekends and 10+ hour days with the same weekly pay. * She has been looking for another job but anytime potential employers call to verify employment, her co-workers or employers they are told she doesn't work there or get hung up on. * Finally, there are no unions in RI for security officers so she would have to form one. I know employers don't have to give sick days and can place blackout periods on vacation days but it has to be illegal to prevent an employee from seeking better employment right? Reddit, what can she do? I really don't want to see her mistreated like this by an employer. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: How do you get the most out of reading a book? POST: For example, last year I read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald for the first time. For the first half of the book, I was relatively bored with the plot and also annoyed about my teacher caring so much about trivial motifs such as colors of clothing. I enjoyed the second half more, but I can't exactly remember why, it might have been the more dramatic character actions. Anyways, when I wrote my essay on the Great Gatsby, I wrote how Gatsby's character was a symbol of the American Dream. When I saw this connection and how Fitzgerald created an illustration of the rise and fall of the American Dream, it made the book seem much more beautiful I guess. How can I notice the beauty in all books? But not just in the plot, more relative to the underlying theme, I guess. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [19M] ex [21F] girlfriend broke up with me last week. Her reason just didn't make sense and now shes confusing me. POST: So last week my girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me over text. All she would really say in the text as to why is because "it hasnt felt right the past few days." I told her I wanted to talk about it person. I called her the next day to make sure she was going to be ok with talking about it. And she was. A few days later she texts saying "Hope youre doing okay," to which i relplied not until we have talked. The next day at work she texted me asking me if i was there etc, then saying if i wanted to go on a smoke break to let her know. The next few days she keeps trying to text me like nothing ever happened. It was really fucking with me so I told her that her texting me like nothing happened is really fucking with my emotions and that we really need to talk because I wanted to try to fix things etf etc. So Tuesday we talked in person about what happened. Basically all I got from her was "I mixed up my feelings of wanting to be friends with something romantic." After which I said I'm going need some space before I can be just friends because she really meant a lot to me. My confusion stems from the fact that after reiterating multiple times that I will need a good bit of time and space to get over this before I can just be friends, she still is trying to text me and talk to me a lot at work like nothing ever happened. I dont know what to do because her mom has major issues and she gets (ex) super depressed around this time of the year. She also hadnt seemed like herself the a bit before the breakup but she didnt seem like breakyupy (if that even makes sense). Plus we had hung out for a bit 3 days before she ended it and everything felt fine and we even made out a bit before I left. I just dont understand why she went from one extreme to another in the relationship. While we were dating she would tell me how i deserved so much more than her etc etc and i would always tell her that I didnt care and that i wanted her etc etc. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [17 f] am jealous of literally everyone I know and I don't know what to do. POST: I have always had trouble making friends in the past. Being white in an Southeast Asian country, I was already different to begin with. Long story short, my "otherness" has led to me being bullied a lot in my childhood years, and I've developed trust issues because of it. Even after the bullying phase of my life was over, I always managed to fuck up socially enough to get myself ostracized and friendless again. I have managed to convince myself that no matter how many times I start over in a new school or whatever, I'm bound to fuck up one way or another. Which leads to the problem. Everytime I see someone out with their friends, whether it be IRL or on Facebook or whatever, my stomach clenches and I just feel a great amount of jealousy. I've never had that, and even if I do manage to find friends I always end up becoming too clingy or once again fuck it up somehow. I am in college now, and I do have friends, but I'm just so afraid of screwing up that I watch everything I say or do. I can't relax in public, I've become highly self-concious and paranoid and I can't even feel confident in how I look, despite living in a country where being white makes you an instant beauty. I have become a complete pushover, and no matter how much anyone pisses me off, I just can't bring myself to let my annoyance be known. I can't say no anymore, and I've become a pathetic, quiet, and paranoid person. I really need advice... for everything, really. Thanks, reddit. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I worry that my boyfriend (26M) of 9 months doesn't invite me (24F) to hang out with his friends (a group of girls and guys? POST: He has a regular group of friends that he sees (a mix of guys and girls). I know that at least 3 of them are in relationships and all their partners have become part of the group. I feel confused as to why I haven't been included. Is it because it's too early to meet his friends? I know that having time away from each other is a good thing but I think it's just the fact that other partners have been included so I feel a bit down about it. His friends drink a lot too and I don't really... Could that be another reason? That he just wants to let loose without having to worry about me? But then again, I think it's a pretty stupid reason not to include someone because of their drinking habits... I think the fact that I don't have many friends is also a factor in how I'm feeling. I almost feel stupid/embarrassed because his friends have their boyfriend/girlfriend there while I'm by myself... Apart from this, he is a caring and loving boyfriend but it's just this one thing that's been stuck in my mind and I can't help but feel like I've been kept separate from another part of his life... Could someone provide some insight? If your partner doesn't hang out with you and your friends, why is that? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [21F] and my ex [21M] are going travelling together in three weeks...am I overthinking things? POST: For some backstory, I lived on campus for uni. My ex ended up moving in next door to me and we quickly became really close. He was on exchange for a year from a university in England, and we hit it off FAST. Because of the fact that our units were next to each other, we ended up living together. We cooked together, stayed together every night, studied together etc. But we knew that he would be have to go back to England to complete his Masters. We discussed this early into the relationship, and decided on a mutual breakup for when he leaves. At the time I thought, "yeah, I can handle this. I have a lot of time to prepare, we'll just enjoy this while it lasts." I was very wrong. We fell so in love with one another, and he became my best friend. He's been back in England for almost two months now, but we still talk like we are a couple, and we ended up planning a trip together. In about three weeks, I am going to England for two weeks to travel with him (his suggestion, but we had both talked about it before) I'm not really sure how to approach the time in between, before I go to England. We act like a couple, skyping/messaging (he recently sent me a letter telling me he loved me and a handmade bookmark from a tree in his garden) but we haven't explicitly talked about what this is. I don't know if we are casually seeing other people? Just the other night he said he was meeting a female friend to catch up, but he messaged me when he got home and that was almost 5 am his time and kind of left a bad taste in my mouth, because I automatically assumed things, despite how every other day he tells me he misses me and talks about all the things he is planning for when I am there. Do I wait until I'm there to have that conversation about what this is? I know communication is absolutely key, but I don't want to risk awkwardness/disappointment before going there, and sometimes things are miss-communicated when not talking face to face. Advice? TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: Boyfriend (18M) just admitted a long-standing crush to me (19F). (X-post relationships) POST: He told me that for a few years he's had a crush on a girl. We've been dating for about a year, so he liked her the whole time he was dating me. Even when he's with me he told me he can't stop thinking about her for long. He also lied to me and said he doesn't develop crushes on people. I realize I sound like a jealous teenager but I know it's perfectly normal to become attracted to other people while in a relationship, as long as you don't act on it. I just feel betrayed since he lied to me about never having crushes on people, and since I kind of feel like second best. Any advice to help me get over this jealousy and move past it? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me (26M). Her (26F). I fucked up today and I feel like complete shit. POST: It's a long-term LDR because she's in school. We've been together almost a decade. Today, I was supposed to take a flight to visit her this weekend (it's her birthday weekend) that I booked months in advance. But I thought it was tomorrow because I'm fucking irresponsibly stupid and don't stay on top of things. It's not that I don't give a fuck, but for the last few months, I actually told myself the flight was tomorrow. Marked on my calendar flight on the 21st. I don't even know why, it obviously says 20th on my e-ticket. I call the Airlines, and they tell me I have to pay 400% of my original ticket value just for a one-way last minute flight. I don't have the funds to do it. I check a bunch of travel sites and the cheapest I can get one-way is still huge compared to what I originally paid. I called her to tell her I fucked up, she cries but after a while she fakes being okay and tells me she loves me and not to worry and things are okay and to just text her and Skype with her the entire weekend. She's been looking forward to me visiting her, since we both really don't know when we both will have the time to visit each other again for a really long while. I know she's been planning this weekend for a fucking long time and she's been telling me almost daily how excited she is I'm coming. We used to be around each other 24/7 but due to diff post-grad programs we had to go to diff places in the world. It ended there, I know she's really hurt and faking it and because she loves me she's gonna pretend like it's fine. I don't have the money to fix this problem, and there's nothing I can do and I feel really down. There's a bunch of feelings I am feeling right now but I guess to summarize it I feel extremely down. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [24F] with my friend [28F] of 5 years, she is really mad at me because she thinks I brought over a contagious disease when she was pregnant POST: My friend "Ann" and I have been friends for about 5 years because our husbands are best friends. We aren't that close friends but we hang out a lot when our husbands get together. Ann had a baby a few weeks ago and I kept offering to go visit and bring them some dinner and meet the baby. My husband kept telling me no, we shouldn't go, and finally he admitted that Ann is mad at me. Over a month ago, when Ann was still pregnant, I was just getting over a cold when they invited us over for dinner. I was still a little congested and may have coughed once or twice and blew my nose, but it had been so long since the cold started that I was sure I was not still contagious. I was also careful to wash my hands often just in case. Apparently Ann was FURIOUS that I came over when I was sick and put her and her baby at risk. She is so mad she wants nothing to do with me. She told her husband and her husband told my husband. I feel sick to my stomach about this, I hate knowing that she is so mad. I really honestly do not believe I put her at risk, it was a very mild cold and was 95% gone and I have read that you are only contagious for the first few days of a cold. And anyway she didn't get sick. I feel very guilty for worrying her though. Should I contact her and tell her that her husband told my husband that she is mad at me and why? Or should I just lay low until it blows over and meet the baby in a few months? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me[21F] and BF [22M] 6 month LDR, I cheated 3 times but don't have plans to do it again POST: I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and I've cheated 3 times. He lives in Cali and I'm in Florida, he has a job and is waiting for a transfer next year. Cheating would never happen if we lived in the same place because we are always together. There's nothing past casual sex but it's hard being long distance sometimes. When he's with me I want no one else and he's the only guy I want or need. --- We've already talked about marriage and kids and I honestly can't see myself with anyone else emotionally. I feel like we have a really steady relationship, we get along well and I see him as future life partner. But it's hard for me to be faithful because I have a high libido (not a justification, just a fact). I used condoms and I've been tested after the encounters (clean). I guess my question is: how do I remain faithful?? I told myself I wouldn't cheat but it happened and I can't take it back. I don't want to tell him because he would break up with me. I've never been in a faithful relationship and my dad cheated on my mom. It broke my heart so I don't want to put my bf through the same thing I went through especially since I want to be with him long term. I know it sucks, but I find myself doing it. Is it just because I'm selfish and I need a change in perspective? Personally, if he cheated, I wouldn't be mad if he didn't want to pursue a relationship with her. But I know that's not how all relationships work and I should discuss these ideas with my SO. I know the saying is once a cheater always a cheater...but I don't want to believe that I am like that. I would never cheat on him while we live together/in the same place because things are perfect. I guess I'm having a hard time coping with the distance thing. TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: Met a girl a couple of days ago, and we've been hanging out together for the past two days. I think I rushed/got excited and now she's turned away. Can I fix it? POST: So I am a college freshman, and I met a really nice girl at a party, who is also a freshman. I walked her home, and she was appreciative and everything and we ended up making out before I left her dorm. Well, we started talking a little bit here and there, but I started to text her to start a conversation a few hours after we stopped having one. I did this three to maybe four times in one day (too stressed to remember) and she started to tweet about it etc. I've only known her for a couple of days and I am pretty sure I messed up this opportunity to be with someone that is really compatible with me. Is there any way I can save things between us? TL;DR:

r/dogs TITLE: [Vent] Your dog might be sweet off leash. Does not mean mine is when on leash. POST: If you let your dogs off leash in public areas and the dog has the where with all to stay by your side and not stray. That is pretty amazing. I applaud you of that, as I have had dogs to that level and it's a pretty great feeling. rant/ But, if you let your dogs off leash, and they wander out of sight or do not recall well. You are putting your animal's life at risk. Let me set the scene for you, I live in a city where there are leash laws. My apt complex states clearly that in the lease, you have to keep leashes on dogs. So im walking my two today and we are going between buildings. I cant see far ahead of me due to the buildings. I have my pit/vizla mix 55lb and a border collie/jack russel mix tripod 22lb with me on leashes going potty. Just today, I had a small dog (White Maltese looking fluff ball, seemed sweet) approach me with Path (the big vizla terrier mix) and Gilly (20lb tripod mix) Gilly is pretty reactive to surprises(we are working on it), (Path used to be but was trained out of most of it) She barks, snarls and gets aggressive. So I'm trying to pull them away and the dog keeps approaching. The little dog seems friendly. But it gets in Gilly's face trying to say hi. Gilly clearly doesn't like that. Snaps, barks, snarls and tries to bite. So finally I see the owners come around the corner a good 25 feet away. They stand there and finally the guy calls his dog, then has to come over and pull it away. All the while I'm pulling mine back. I just stare at the couple in disbelief. Really? Nothing? No sorry, no apologies, nothing. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Advice on how to distance myself from an entire group? [16F with friends] POST: If you want, you can read my past posts about this. Basically my friend group has been deemed toxic by many people. I've searched the internet for ways to distance myself, but all the advice is for cutting out one specific person. It has become clear that several friendships (at least 3 or 4) have to be ended or otherwise phased out for me to maintain my happiness and stability. How should I go about this gracefully? Do I let them know my reasoning? Should I try to set things up so I make new friends (and if so, how can I avoid clashes between my old and new friend groups)? How do I behave around them in class (most of these people are in my classes)? One of them drives me to and from school. How do I reduce awkwardness around her? How do I handle it if their parents confront me? I want this to be non-dramatic. I'm so fed up with this, and I just can't deal with it anymore. Also, I could use some general reassurance that life will get better for me, especially after high school. LUCKILY I am graduating this year (I'm young for a senior) and I'll be away from these people forever. I just need reassurance and tips on how to survive the rest of the year. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: LD Gf says she "wants to experience different things". Not really sure what that means. POST: Long story short, me and the gf have been losing touch just a bit very recently and she has been questioning our relationship and it's possible outcomes. I'm a freshman in college and she's a sophomore in high school. We've talked about the open relationship thing, and she was pretty into the idea of hooking up with someone else, while i wasn't very fond, even though i didn't tell her at first. I was surprised because she's always said how she doesn't want anyone else but me, and i was angry so i said some things and made it worse for a bit. But we talked and now we aren't doing it. Here's the thing. Whenever discussion has come up lately she's been saying something along the lines of: "I'm young i should experience different things, i don't want to be held back". Now she is 15 so I completely agree with that, but i'm young too.. I'm just trying to figure out how this ties into our relationship because to me, the only possible thing i can think of that our relationship is holding us back from, is other people. Does it sound like that is what she's hinting at? To be with other people(even just physically)? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Is this a normal salary for someone with an Associate's degree, or am I being underpaid? POST: I worked as an intern for the company that I'm currently employed at. Technically, my job title is "IT Support Specialist"; however, I do much more than that. I re-designed their whole website for them and am currently re-coding a portion of the backbone code that they use for their websites. They began paying my ~$11.00/hour for my internship hours, which was great. I could afford to quit my dead-end job to focus on my internship. Near the end of my internship, they gave me an employee evaluation and extended a full-time salaried job offer my way. I foolishly assumed a handsome raise to come with the salaried position. Wrong. They are going to pay me an average of $12.00/hour. Is this a fair wage for the work that I'm doing for them? I can give more specific examples if needed. Also, just to be clear, I only expected somewhere around $14-$15/hour after being hired on full-time. It's not like I was expecting to make $50,000/year coming straight out of a 2-year college. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by leaving my blinds open POST: Okay so about half an hour ago I decided to take a shower. After doing all shower related activities and drying myself off in the bathroom I walked back to my room. It's one on the morning and everyone else in bed so I walk down the hall naked. Once getting into my room I sit in my comfy chair, pick up my phone and well... begin masturbating. Getting fairly into it I glance across my room, to the window, the still open blinds, and my neighbour. My neighbour is a fairly attractive lass who I've fancied for years. Cue a quick run across the room and five minutes of fumbling with the blinds. I doubt I will ever talk to her now, but it could have been more awkward if I was masturbating over her... TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend[23 F] of two years made picking presents really hard POST: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years now and we often give each other gifts. It´s been two great years, but recently she gave me my birthday-present. It was an album, but not something you could buy in a store. She handcrafted an album and spent weeks making it without me knowing, and I loved it. The problem now is that for Christmas I of course have to give her something, and I really don´t want to disappoint her. Luckily, I have an idea. It´s a bit of a crazy idea, but I want it to be special. I want to make her a heart. But not just a heart of wood or something boring, no I want to buy some burners and some scrap-metal, and then forge a heart. The idea is to make a mold with some cute writing on it and then cast a heart in my backyard. This is something that would be special, it would take hours upon hours polishing it and making it perfect, and I really want to do it. But literally every single person I´ve asked about it to says that it´s a stupid idea, and instead go and buy her some jewelry or something like that. My grandmother actually called me an idiot and said that it´s pointless and a girl prefers jewelry and purses a lot more. So I need your help; should I go for the forging idea or rather find her something in a shop instead? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [23M] with my fiance [23F] somehow found out I've been looking at another girl's instagram and tried to give me the ring back. POST: This 4th of july weekend we drunkenly got into an argument at party cove when I could not find her after a few minutes. We started arguing because I was worried about her wandering off and then she was mad because I yelled around strangers and made her look bad. Anyways during the argument she says she knows I've been looking at this "blonde-hair blue-eyed" girl's instagram, which I have been looking at but never contacted her. My fiance is latina and i'm white so she's been thinking I don't find her attractive now, which is far from the truth. I love everything about this girl, she is my life and I would fucking lose it if I didn't have her. She basically told me to fuck off and tried giving me the ring back, but we made up and everything was fine the rest of the weekend. We haven't really talked about this situation sober yet. She seems fine but also like she's not telling me something. I feel guilty and don't know where to go from here. I guess I'm just wondering how to make everything right again so we are not acting weird around each other anymore. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Have you ever had a "WTF did I just do?!" moment that turned out better than expected? POST: This is mine....I met her on Yahoo chat, we had been chatting semi regularly for a week or so. Nothing major, she had a BF and it was friends more than anything. A very casual and non flirty friendship. I should also mention she was hot as hell. Well one Saturday night I was getting drunk with a friend and playing games. I got bored and jumped on chat and seen her on. I ask her why she wasn't out having fun on a Saturday night and she says her BF just broke up with her. This was followed by about 10 minutes of the room all saying stuff like "oh I'm sorry to hear that", "I feel for you", blah blah blah. I should also mention I was voice chatting... so I chuckle, cup my mic with my hand and turn to my friend and start talking shit about all the tenderhearted guys and said something along the line of "damn that, I'm happy hes out the way so i can start hitting it!". We talked shit for a good 2 minutes or so, we were drunk so it was pretty good/graphic too. When I turn back I see this on the screen... **her:** OMG TURN OFF YOUR MIC!!! **dude:** HAHA you dumbass! **other dude:** you are a damn idiot hoodis! **internet tough guy:** say that to my face asshole! **her:** hoodis i thought you cared about me! **hoodis:** oh shit... Turns out i didn't cup it quite good enough. She signed off very shortly after. It was obvious I hurt her but I just shrugged it off, too drunk to care. The next day I started feeling bad about it so I emailed her an apology and offered to take her out the next weekend to make up for it. She took me up on my offer... ...3 years later our daughter was born and we just celebrated our 7 year anniversary in December. **( TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [22/M] broke up with my [22/F] of 1 year, I'm still terribly in love with her and am unable to cope with the loss. POST: I broke up with my girlfriend 4 months ago because I was having a VERY hard time with drugs and depression, and I didn't want to drag her down with me. She didn't care and wanted to be with me anyways (I still broke it off). Afterwards, she started telling me about how she was "raped" when she went barhopping with her friends (sometime mid-relationship). She then starts sending me pictures of her cutting herself, stating that I was doing this to her and how she wanted to kill herself and I was the only one who could stop it. I later found out she wasn't raped, but rather made a series of poor decisions which ultimately ended up with her cheating on me. She denies this and has changed her account of what happened MANY times. To be honest, I don't even know the truth. A week after the break-up, I started shooting up heroin. From this point on all contact between us ceased. 3 months after the break up I was able to quit shooting up, but I am still having a hard time letting her go. I love her so much and can't stop thinking about her. All the memories I have of us together kills me, and the only thing I want to do is go back, even though I know deep down this isn't possible. The only thing I want is to be with her. TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: Paying off closed credit card account POST: Long story: I've had a VISA cc with Wells Fargo for somewhere near 10 years. My card was closed almost two years ago when I missed two payments and was over the credit limit. (I was having some financial difficulties to say the least.) Other than those two incidents I was really good about making payments on time and above the minimum required. Since it's been closed I have been making monthly, on-time, over the minimum payments on the card. I have never had enough money to pay off the limit. The last year has been financially nicer to me and I have a nice tax return sitting in my checking account. I can now pay off the balance. So now I have some questions: Aside from this and one other issue my credit is pretty decent. I have heard that paying off an account can hurt your credit score. Is there a way to go about paying off this credit card that won't hurt my credit further? Is there a way to get the negative hits, or some of them, taken off my report or have it re-classified so it doesn't look as bad on the report? I'm getting ready to finally move out of my parents place and I'm worried that this hit to my credit will keep me from being able to rent an apartment. Thoughts? Tips? Advice? TL;DR:

r/cats TITLE: Survived a difficult introduction between 2 cats? Need some advice. POST: Any success stories on difficult introductions? I'd love to hear how you guys managed it! *Background* We used to have 2 6-year old cats who were litter mates. They got along fine, though the girl cat would occasionally growl at the male cat. She'd sometimes be chased by him but would end up later sleeping on each other. Our male cat suddenly died, and a month later, we've adopted a 4 year old male from the shelter. We've kept him in a separate room for 7 days so he could acclimate. He's very playful and affectionate. On the 8th day, we swapped rooms with the cats, so the girl cat could get used to the new cat's smells, and the new cat could explore the rest of the house. That went fine. Later on we opened the door and let them see each other. There was immediate hissing/growling from the girl cat. I understand this is probably normal. I was giving the girl cat a lot of affection in front of the new cat, so it didn't feel threatened. That seemed to work. Every time the new cat moves around the room, the girl cat gets extremely aggressive. Even though i've prevented most of it. There's been a couple of times when the girl cat has chased the new cat and has made contact (lots of fur flying). We've had the cats separated again so they can both relax. Now when I open the door, the girl cat comes in, and always looks to want to attack the new cat. The new cat, who was previously ambivalent to the other cat (even through growls), is now starting to show fear around the girl cat :( TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [30 M] with my wife [26 F] 5 years. Our sex is so predictable and I feel like I'm doing more of the sexing than getting sexed. POST: Married 5 years. Sex is almost entirely for procreation at this point. Almost clinical because she wants to start having kids so bad. I love my wife and she is smoking hot, also I am really glad that we waited until marriage (she was a virgin but I wasn't) but I am more sexual than her and it's really hard to bring up our sexual preferences without coming across as comparing her to my past partners (sensitive subject). When I do ask her about her kinks or deepest desires her responses are real Luke warm and it's stuff like, go down on me. But it seems as if she doesn't have any fantasies of her own. I know some people will say, "that's why you have to try before you buy!" But I am past that. Any advice on how to get her more into it? If she just once would say, "hey we should try this, or I want you to do this to me (besides go down on her because I already do that)" it would make my week. If she actually initiated a handjob without expecting anything in return I would be shocked, like who is this person?! A blow job is out of the question for now but maybe some day. I try being as selfless as possible. Sex is always about getting her off first because "I can always get off" but it's like she never craves the D. Sexually I don't feel desired, unless it's in her fertile window and it's obvious she's just using me for my baby juice. Also, I'm not interested in using that as a bargaining chip. Don't want to play games. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: I'm [18F] not sure about my relationship with my boyfriend [18M] anymore after 4 years together due to his trust issues POST: So me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 14, and he has always been the jealous type. I've tried really hard to stop it from bothering me, as I'm not the jealous type at all. It hasn't been a major problem until last week When with a group of friends, he went through my phone and read my messages. He then started questioning me on "who's this? Why are you messaging him so late?" And I was mortified. He embarrassed me so much in front of everyone, and he made his jealousy everyone's problem. I left immediately, and we had a conversation about boundaries and privacy Ever since then, I've felt different. It caused alarm bells to ring in my head! He's texted me when I've gone out telling me to "be careful" and to "not let other men hit on me" and it's a very ugly quality in him I don't like. I told him his jealous is pushing me away, and he says he's terrified of causing issues between us and wants to change I've also started to get feelings for another guy, although he's a lot older then me and I don't think anything will come of it, just the fact I've started to get strong feelings for someone else for the first time in our relationship is causing me real problems I care about him so much, but I'm not sure if I want to be in this relationship anymore. I don't know how I'd be without a boyfriend, as I've never really been without. I'd like to also add I'm going to university in September, so that is also going to add strain and possibly make his jealousy worse. I don't know whether or not to end it now, or wait it out and see if he changes or I feel differently TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I need advice for asking a girl out on Valentine's Day (m21, f21). POST: First of all, thank you for opening the link! Hello, all. Just to give you a background: I am a senior (21m) in my last semester at college (as is she-21f), and I need advice on asking a girl "to be my valentine" on the 14th. I have known her since freshman year (4 years). I would like to do something special, but I do not know what is appropriate. She is in the same major as me, but I have never discussed my feelings for her. I talked to her good friend, who she is rooming with, and she thought "that would be cute". [I only asked her friend this to make sure there weren't any red flags, and to make sure I wouldn't back out.] My current plan is to show up at her apartment with white and red roses with some babies breath and ask if she would "be my valentine" and ask her to go out on a date either on the 14th or that weekend. My best friend, and roommate, told me that he thought it was a bad idea and that I should ask beforehand to make sure she doesn't have plans. Please give me suggestions on what you think is appropriate! Also, we are in most of the same classes and everyone is close friends in our major. In addition, her, myself, and ten other friends are going to Panama City Beach, Florida for spring break. I do not want to make it awkward, but I feel that I would rather take a chance than spend my life wondering! What should I do reddit? TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: Time to deal with this rental insurance problem.. Any advice would help! POST: So it's time for me to deal with this long overdue problem. Here's the story, short and simple: Took a trip to another city in Florida in 2008 with my family and my mother rented a vehicle under her name and did not elect insurance (first mistake). She also didn't add me as a driver (second mistake). I was 18 at the time with a valid driver's license and insurance. I got into an accident and totalled the vehicle. The police didn't give me a ticket and no one was injured in the accident. I had to pay for damage to a barricade. Something was in the road and as I swerved to avoid it the car lost control and wrecked. So, obviously all damages to the vehicle were put on my mother. About $12,000. She didnt pay anything at the time (3rd mistake) I'm sure it's on her credit history and no one has ever contacted me personally about the matter and we never inquired about it. It's time we handle this and want to know what steps to take to get this rectified. We do not have $12000 right now to pay somebody off so maybe a settlement or payment process? We're just unsure and I'm looking for advice. I am full aware of how stupid this was and now that I'm a little older, I don't understand why my mother didnt take the right steps to prevent this or use her insurance to fix it then! But thats the past, I suppose. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: Lack of sex causing me (20F) to lash out at him (21M). POST: To start off, I'd like you all to know I love my boyfriend very much, but I've been finding myself more irritated at him than usual. I have a very high sex drive, and he says he does not. I'm lucky if I get any more than twice a month. If I try to initiate anything, he gets irritated and huffy and tells me to stop, or leave him alone. I recently found out that he's been jerking off to porn almost every day. That wouldn't bother me, if he was still having sex with me. Instead, he just jerks off and then doesn't touch me for weeks. And even when we do get down to it, he's very vanilla. No cunnilingus and just a straight in and out for 5-10 minutes. I want to try a lot of new things (bondage, pegging, anal, other fantasies, etc.) but he has no interest. I used to beg for him to make love to me, but that got me no where. I've given up. I have an incredible amount of pent up sexual energy, and even when I self service it's never enough. I find myself lashing out at him and snapping at him more and more everyday. I always feel bad and apologize, but I can't shake this feeling. I know he's not cheating on me, because he's always been lacking in the sex department (that idea hasn't even crossed my mind tbh). I don't want to start resenting him for this. What can I do? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [21 F] 3 months, felt lack of affection from her so I broke it off last night. POST: Sorry, this is not as exciting as other posts I've been reading, but I really needed to vent and get some outsiders input. I have been dating this girl for about 3 months. Although it felt pretty good all around, I have always felt lack of affection from her. I was always the one to initiate any kisses, cuddling, intimacy, hang outs, etc. For some reason, it really felt that relationship was too much one sided and she was just sticking with me because I seemed like good, stable partner. Also, what else worried me is lack of time we spent together. It seemed she was okay with seeing each other once or twice per week, I on the other hand, wanted to see her little more often. As to not intrude her time too much, I always suggested coming over to spend a night or something of that sort, but was getting rejected. Anyway, last night I couldn't deal with it anymore as she seemed colder than before for past few days. I went over by her place and simply told her I don't think she genuinely likes me and therefore we probably should not be together. She stormed back into her house and I left. We proceeded to text back and forth for a bit and she expressed how much she was hurt by somebody that she truly cared about. She told me she loved me since the beginning. She also said this is just how she is and I should have given it more time to get to know her. She definitely played her words well and made feel like a douchebag, so I offered to try and work it out if she would be willing to try and change to which she mentioned she needed some time to think about this. TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: I feel inadequate, and I really don't understand why... POST: So, Im 24 my younger sister is 19, and she's getting married in may. I'm happy for her and that she's happy, but I feel like a failure next to her. I've had more then one proposal(can you tell we're from a small town) and I turned them down beucase I have commitment issues, I want to do things with my life(spontanious travel,be free to do what I want when I want, ect.) Yes I'm a pretty selfish person, I learned this about myself and don't really get involved with people to seriously for this reason. I'm good with it, and overall, I'm pretty happy with my life, sure I'd like to finish school, and get a better job, maybe move somewhere different, but in time. I'm a little jealous that she's got her life all planed out, and is making it happen, whilst I don't have any game plan and just take things as they come... She's also always been the favourtie, ALWAYS! and I'm pretty estranged from my family because of it, I was always the black sheep, bad influence whatever, because I did what I wanted, and they were constantly unsupportive and negative to me so I cut them out and moved forward. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by forgetting my charger POST: It was around 11pm and I was snapchatting this BABE who I had been after for months. I'd finally got up the courage to initiate changing our pictures from PG-13 to a little more interesting. She seemed so keen and the last snap she sent to me said 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' with her standing in her underwear. So I whip it out and once I've reached my full potential I get my phone ready to take the picture and- it's dead. My phone has died at the absolute worst possible time. And what's worse? I left my charger at work. And nobody else in my house has the same phone as me. My phone is dead, my charger is at work and there's a hot girl in her underwear waiting for me. This morning I got my charger back and I had one waiting from her: 'looks like you've fallen asleep'. I tried texting her and she thinks I wasn't interested and fell asleep and I now have zero chance of getting her to do it again. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (27f) am afraid my husband (25m) will leave me after fights POST: Every time my husband and I have a disagreement (I wouldn't call everything fights) I'm afraid he will leave me. I think I'm afraid of that with everyone, but he's the last person I have left for me. And then it makes me hate myself even more, because I know he wouldn't just because of a fight. I know this isn't normal behavior. I know there is something wrong with me. And this makes me even more scared that he'll see there's something wrong with me, and then leave me because I'm a freak, and crazy and unlovable. I just feel so bad. Like this morning, he mentioned I had been upset with him because he was working late the last few days, but everyone at work was working late because of the season. My reason for being upset was because I didn't know what time to expect him home, and so I didn't know when to prepare dinner etc. I immediately felt awful for wanting to know these details, and wanting him to come home early, and felt that he was probably wondering why he married me in the first place. What's wrong with me? How do I make it better so my husband and I can enjoy a more healthy relationship? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Girlfriend[19f] mad at me[19m] because I masturbate and acts very childish about it. POST: First off we've been together going on a year and 1 month. But it would have been about 3 years if we had not broke up the first time. Everything has been going good, we decided to do a month of no sex for December and I was fine with that. I brought up masturbation the other day and she said it was fine as long as I didn't look at porn. That's where it all started. She then asked me why do I feel the need to masturbate. She was going on with the questions and when I responded she acted like she didn't care for what I had to say and it really wasn't helping the situation so I just said. Would you rather me masturbate or come to you every time I'm horny? She said she didn't want that. She feels that just because she doesn't do it and isn't horny all the time that I shouldn't be either. Then she said if I used a toy I would feel the exact same way that she feels. I explained to her I wouldn't care if she used a toy and would even buy her one. I told her once she grows up maybe she will understand where I'm coming from because right now she doesn't. I'm tired of her acting like a child and I told her "I did it before I was with you, I will do it while I'm with you, and I will do it without you." The talks lately have been silent and short because she now gives one word answers and when I ask what she said she says nothing. So I start talking and I can talk she wasn't even paying attention she was constantly saying what and oh ok and cool. I think my best option is to break up with her because I can't take this bitchy attitude and refused to let her control me like a puppet saying I can't masturbate. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [21F] BF [23 M] is visiting chat rooms. POST: We have been friends for 4 years and been dating for 9 months. Last night I was in my boyfriends bedroom going over some final assignments that my professor posted. He was playing video games with his roommate but knew I was on his laptop. I never deliberately wanted to look at his history, but I held the back button on his browser a moment too long and some things from his history popped up. It worried me so I looked at his full history. There were a TON of links that all related to free porn chat rooms, from every day of the week and we see each other almost daily! I honestly do not care if he looks at porn, I do too, but this seems way more personal. They were from 2 different chat websites that involved multiple girls. I clicked on one and sure enough, you can watch the girl as she's touching herself and talking to people and people can talk to her and tip her. Should I ignore it? Or is this something I should confront him about? I'm worried that he has an account and giving money to these girls. TL;DR:

r/askwomenadvice TITLE: Losing interest POST: Hey! First of all I'm 17 old boy and I've never had anything serious with a girl before so I'm extremely clueless. About a month ago I started talking to this girl, we basically talked nonstop and she was definitely sending signals, I just wasn't sure if was prepared to be in a relationship. A few days ago I told her that I really liked her and that would love to get to know her but then she told me she had lost interest in me and didn't like me in that way anymore. I can definitely understand why she ran out of patience so I can see how this is on me. Anyone experienced anything similar? I really like her but I didn't realize that fast enough. Do you think she's being sincere or is she just mad at me? As I said I'm really clueless so I'd love all the help I can get. TL;DR:

r/dating_advice TITLE: (M23)Met a girl (F18) in another country, She's very interested but I may never see her again POST: Just a little back story: I compete at an elite level in an individual sport. I was in Sweden last weekend and met a lot of people over there. I thought I'd try out a few things with a girl I had seen before, she looked like she was a lot of fun. The only thing I was doing was looking in her eyes and smiling, sometimes even blinking. Though she smiled back I wasn't getting a real big response and seeing as she had much attention from other guys I thought she wasn't interested. Not a big deal. Her loss for not meeting someone awesome. These competitions always end with a Banquet and a party afterwards. She was there looking quite nice but still with many guys around, I was having fun and wasn't going to compete for a girl I assumed wasn't interested. So I didn't a initiate conversation with her. Flash forward a bit. When I got home and turned my phone on I had internet again and noticed she looked me up on facebook and sent me some messages about why I didn't talk to her at the banquet and that she should probably talk to me but she's to shy. That was last week. After I got back I started talking to her a bit and again trying out some seduction stuff. I was still outcome independent. Along the way I started noticing she genuinely has one of the best personalities I've ever come across. I don't really now where this is going at the moment but right now I've got the feeling that a defining moment is coming up. I can't say I want a relationship with this girl right now but we could still have a lot of fun. What I'd like advice on is the following: how do I proceed given the knowledge that It will be at least another 2 to 3 months before I see her. The tools I have are online messengers and skype, Do I escalate sexually already to make sure to her that I'm not interested in being friends. Or maybe something else. I'm still outcome independent in the fact that if it doesn't work out then that's okay she lives in a country at least 700 miles away so chances are it wouldn't amount to anything. But still, she is so much fun. TL;DR:

r/relationship_advice TITLE: [24/m] Met girl at Starbucks who I want to get to know more but don't know how [~21?/f] POST: On Thursday I met a barista at a sbux location on campus that I frequently visit. When I saw her I completely forgot what I was thinking or trying to say at the moment. She just blew me away. I can go on and on about what I liked about her, the point is that I really fell for her. She looks to be maybe 1-2 years younger than me (I'm 24m). I feel that baristas probably get flirted enough as it is and probably hate it. I am already a socially-enough awkward penguin when it comes to approaching new people in public. But this girl also happens to be a Barista which I feel complicates things even more. My only interaction with her could be during her work time; and I don't want to be disruptive, and I know she can't give out personal info while on-shift. Plus, I only go to this location about an hour before class starts (4 days a week), and I sit there for a max of 30 minutes before I have to leave to class. Usually I'm just catching up on lecture notes before I run off. Important notes: *Thursday was the first day I saw this girl. I ordered an iced tea. Then got a refill. No other conversations took place. *I am a regular customer at this location. (it's on campus and I go right before class daily) *Today is the first day I saw her. I am not stalking her, and just…no. *If it makes a difference to anyone, this is in Colorado. Anyone here a Sbux Barista? Please help! I do not want to upset or get this girl in trouble. I have no clue on how to approach the situation, yet I don't want to ignore it either. TL;DR:

r/Advice TITLE: Grandparents gravesite is a wreck...can I contact someone? POST: In January my mother's mom passed away, a couple weeks later in February we buried her in the same plot where my grandpa is buried. I was in the area of the site today and thought to leave a flower, as nobody had stopped by recently since feelings were still raw. I was shocked at the state of the grave. It's like the gravediggers didn't even put the dirt away. They shoveled it back haphazardly, there were areas where if I got on my hands and knees I could probably see a good four feet down into the grave. The stone belonging to another behind theirs was just teetering because the dirt had been rudely taken out from underneath it. If I had just put my foot on it, it likely would have fallen *in*. There were still piles of dirt around the edges. In short, it's like they just kicked dirt over it like a cat after it shits in a box. I am/was horrified. Now, I know nothing about grave digging. Do they leave it because it'll get messed up anyway when someone comes to do a second engraving on the stone? Does the dirt have to settle, and later on they come and fix it up? It's been 2 1/2 months, so that seems unlikely. Anyhow, I want to bring it up to my mom, but it would hurt her. She's doesn't show it, but I can sense she's still very distraught and hearing about this would cause her a lot more pain. I know should probably just bring it up to my dad, but I don't want to burden him either and he might think I was crazy (I don't know he looks at me like that a lot). I just want it all to be in order and look beautiful and respectful when my mom/other family goes to visit. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description POST: So, me 23yrs male and girlfriend 25yrs female have had our own place for 2 years now. Simple basement suit. Money isnt really a huge deal because I dont let her touch my money and I make her work for her share of the rent. Everything is handed to her from her parents. Let it be $5000 for laser eye surgery to monthly bills such as phone bills. When her parents come down to visit I leave the house perposelly so I dont have to waste my time seeing them spoil her. The last 6 months have been spiralling down so much that it feels like I am depressed. to the point where everything out of my mouth is negative, it feels hard to say something positive anymore. I told my girlfriend it was because of her, I made a few simple rules when we moved in with each other. 1. cleaning is split up. 1 person takes care of the washroom the other does everything else. its a very small place so both of these things takes the same amount of time. 2. dishes are to be done everynight so we both don't have to wake up to baked on dirty dishes in the morning. The cook doesn't clean. I buy food and cook everyday. I awlays have to bitch at her to do the dishes before going to bed. She does the washroom, I do everything else (don't mind it). Hell if she had a problem with doing the washroom we could switch. But for the last 6 months the washroom has been a complete mess. Today was my breaking point. Lost it on her. Told her to get her shit together and clean it or one of us is leaving. There should be no reason why I have work twice as hard trying to keep this place clean while she sits on her ass. This weekend I might start packing! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I've (30f) been with SO(33m) for almost 1.5 years. I am concerned that he isn't over his ex. POST: Little background: I've been in a couple serious relationships in the past, the last one ending about 4 years ago (6year duration). I've moved on from my ex and rarely think about him unless he is somehow brought up. It took a couple months of hard truth from my family and friends to realize that I can't look back or hold on to it because it was such a messed up relationship- with or without closure. My SO was in a very serious relationship about 3 years ago for just about 3 years. From what I've heard it was a messy breakup and riddled with drama. Sometimes when he drinks he will bring her up but after telling him that I don't want to hear about it, he has stopped. Each time, it was like she held the pedestal. He hates her when he's sober but claims he needs closure when he's drunk, and apparently checks his exes social media accounts (per his sister) sometimes. It's been super quiet on any mention of her for the last 8 months, which has been great. BUT this past weekend we were with a group of friends at a Fourth of July event and ran into her. Since then the checking started again and I'm wondering what I should do? It hurts to know that he still thinks about her and that he can't seem to move on. It's been done for 3 years and we've been dating for almost half that time. When will it end? Should I tell him to talk to her and try and get closure-even though I feel it's like "pandora's box"? Help please! TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, I need your help POST: I posted this yesterday and almost no one responded, I'm going to try this again... Reddit, my boyfriend is hands down the most generous and kind person I know. His family and him are having a hard time paying their bills, and soon enough it's inevitable they will be losing their house. Reddit I'm calling on you for help. I'm not asking for paypal deposits or anything like that. I just need answers on how to help them. What do I do? His dad lost his job in 2008 and they've been having financial troubles ever since, usually his dad lands a seasonal job during Christmas however he couldn't get one with this time. His mom works as a para helping special needs children and doesn't make enough either. I don't know what to do, seeing him this stressed out makes me upset. Another problem is they wont accept money or gifts of any kind, they refuse to be handed anything. I'm not sure what to do, I don't want them living on the streets. Someone give me suggestions... They live in the somewhere around the NYC area if that helps ALSO feel free to share your own stories TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: Employer sent me a bogus 1095-C form for 2015 POST: Last March (2015), I moved from the midwest to Massachusetts and started a job with a large company here. Since I'm under 25 and have a younger sibling as well, I stayed on my parents' insurance because it wouldn't cost them anything extra for 4 people instead of 3. This arrangement worked well until this past February (2016), when due to changes at my dad's company, then ended up switching to an insurance company that wouldn't have provided coverage in MA where I live. I switched, at that point, to insurance through my employer, which was annoying, but ultimately fairly simple. Fast forward to today: I'm opening my mail from the last few days, and I find that my company sent me a 1095-c form for 2015. On the form, it shows that I paid for 8 months of insurance in 2015 to get insurance *through them*, and the numbers look like they're based on the plan I signed up for this February. Looking at my pay stubs, this is obviously not the case; it is still rather concerning to me, especially since this is the first year I did my taxes on my own (filed back in March, already got all my refunds). I will, of course, be reaching out to HR as soon as I get to work. I also read the form in it's entirety, and didn't see anywhere on it how to dispute incorrect information. I'm wondering, however, if there are other things that need to be done in this situation. 1. Do I correctly understand what this form is saying? 2. Since I filed my taxes over a month ago, will this effect my current filing? What about audit risks? 3. Is this something that they (my employer) are ALLOWED to do? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (M 27) friends (M 20s) keep inviting this guy (M 25) around whos a back stabbing scumbag to everything. Im pissed, but have no clue what I should do about it. POST: Said guy is a total asshole. When I was with my ex last year, he texted her to hangout alone and never invited the two of us. He sold his old car to my friends gf and never transferred the title. when she got hit in an accident he collected the money from it and never gave a cent to her. After a few months of not being friends with him, he was accepted back into the group with open arms despite no apologies. I have low patience for these kinds of people. He's also not the only one. Another of our "friends" slept with my buddies first girlfriend quite a few years ago. Anytime we get a bunch of people to do anything these people are always invited along. It pisses me off and ruins my time if I get stuck interacting with them. I brought it up with my friend who basically organizes anything with more than 4 of us. I told him how I feel, his response is I don't wanna deal with the drama. Should I keep the peace? Should I just boycott events with these people in them? Should I just get in these dudes faces and make them answer for their bullshit? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [F23] want to be with my friend [M25] who lives out of state POST: I've been friends with an amazing guy for all my four years of college. He's two years ahead of me in school, so even though we have a lot of chemistry, timing has always been pretty bad as far as dating is concerned. We both travel frequently and have studied abroad independently of each other. He currently lives out of state and is applying for graduate school, while I'm finishing my senior year of college and have a job offer in the immediate area. We have always been in this weird limbo where we go on dates, cuddle, and share romantic sentiments with each other, but are unable to start anything real because of the distance. He says he really likes me and would absolutely want to be my boyfriend if I lived closer. When we're apart, we skype and text regularly and have a strong foundation of friendship. I'm getting to the point where I really wanna be with him, even if it means hampering my career. My crush has lasted four years and has only grown over time, so it's more than simple chemistry. He has only had a couple crushes his whole life and I'm one of them, and he's made it clear that I'm special to him too. Understandably, he doesn't want either of us to compromise our careers for each other. It'd be a huge leap for one of us to move when we're not officially in a relationship yet. I'm going to try to live in his area temporarily over the summer so we can be near each other and he's really excited to see me. Does anyone have any other ideas of what we can do to make it work, other than long distance? I'm getting really discouraged. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: [23 M] confused about [21 F] ex-girlfriend's actions/motives POST: We have been broken up for 2 years, yet since then she has followed me on instagram, followed me on twitter, friend requested me on facebook, and most recently added me to snap chat. To emphasize the weirdness of this, she literally added me the day of me creating said social profiles. (we were not friends on facebook, so it did not notify her I made an instagram) A year after the break up even, she was texting me DAILY for 3 months straight. Eventually I started texting her as well every once in a while, and just a few months ago she would talk to me all day, and then out of nowhere started ignoring me. I did not text her a lot by any means, and I actually was always really nice and didn't ever bring up anything about the past (we dated for 4 years). This was when she was very clearly trying to get back together with me. The last time I spoke to her we talked the entire day and it was somewhat flirtatious; a week later I text her and she straight up ignores me (said text receipt read at so and so time). I created the snap chat 2 months ago...and she instantly added me. Why add me on all these things, and then ignore me? it boggles my mind and it is just frustrating at this point...like I said, I only casually texted her and was by no means overbearing in any facet...I still have feelings for her, and I don't know if she's dating anyone (I don't think she is though). Why go through all that trouble and then blatantly ignore me? I honestly don't think it's friend zoning because we don't speak often and I don't hang out with her, plus the whole thing where she was trying to get back together with me. She clearly wants to keep tabs on me, but for what purpose if she doesn't want to talk to me? TL;DR:

r/offmychest TITLE: I'm so ashamed. POST: I'm 22 and I rely on what little my parents can give me to live. Unfortunately, this is upwards of $200/month. I look for jobs for hours a day, but there's nothing in my area (which goes up to a 50-mile radius since I live in the middle of nowhere) that would be able to cover the gas to get there and back daily and pay for everything else. I don't know if I'm looking in the wrong places, or what, but it's embarrassing to keep relying on my parents when they live 2000 miles away and should not be financially responsible for me anymore. I have so many overdue or nearly overdue bills right now. I've already been sent off to a debt collector once this month and that was hell. And there's the goddamn satellite bill I continue paying despite the fact that I haven't been able to use the service since September. It's $80 a month I'm paying so I don't have to make a fucking phone call to cancel. It's pathetic. I'm living off of checking account advances, waiting for the next $200 so I can pay those off and get more. I live for free right now, with my boyfriend. I had to move in with him rather suddenly, and his mother has been paying his rent and hasn't quit that. He could have a job on February 1, but he's got some things preventing him from finding work that I don't want to go into. I'm scared of getting my hopes up and then someone telling him they can't hire him. I'm sick of myself and I'm sick of this life. I wish I could have a job and make my own money and not feel so ashamed when I receive help from my family, knowing they're just doing it as an excuse for my not having to come live with them. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by not chopping up my fingers POST: This actually happened today, so i expect extra fake internet points. Ok, here we go. So a bunch of friends and me are in a decently large chat group on Facebook of around 20 people where we discuss plans to hang out and such. So today, a friend of mine we'll call James and I were eating tacos at lunch and thought it would be funny to convince people on the chat that I had lost two fingers while working at my job. I work in an outdoor shop where we occasionally cut rope so it was believable. So we sent a message on the chat. At first no one responded until James' girlfriend started panicking and asking if we were serious. James recommended we should stop at this point. I didn't. As abroham Lincoln said, Go big or Go home. So, I then (Still on James' phone) continued it going in to detail about how I was bummed I wouldn't be able to play piano anymore. (I'm a big piano player and I enjoy it a ton). So I go on with life after this, go to the supermarket and get popsicles for everyone at the branch, quickly forgetting about the big mistake we unknowingly made. We get back to the branch, and James' Girlfriend who we'll call Juno gets ultra mad, and breaks up with him. So at this point i'm feeling pretty shitty for ending their relationship singlehandedly. Right after this, my mom comes rushing into the work panicking and asking if I'm okay. It turns out one of the people in the group chat, who we'll call brennen Told his mom, (A hand therapist) who immediately turned around from their vacation and started heading home while sending panicky "sorry about Duncan" (my theoretical name) texts to my mom. Lastly three of my friends left their jobs to head to the hospital where I wasn't actually there. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [27 F] looked at his phone [35 M] POST: He came clean with me recently about the fact that he'd been seeing someone else for a time when we were together. He said that it was over and it meant nothing to him. I didn't have much of a reaction to this, and in fact I thanked him for his honesty. But after that I didn't trust him anymore, even though we continued to see each other. I began to obsess over where he was going, what he was doing, who he was texting... I was going crazy. The other day, he left me sleeping in his apartment when he went to work. He forgot his phone. Not once in the 7 months we've been together have I ever looked at or even CONSIDERED looking at his phone. But I didn't trust him anymore. And suddenly the phone was the holy grail. What I found on the phone was far, far worse than I could have ever imagined. Things like that aren't meant to be seen. I should have never looked at it, and I won't ever be able to unsee the things I saw. I need to get tested immediately. I need to break up with him immediately. Do I tell him why? TL;DR:

r/Parenting TITLE: Sleeping baby in apartment building POST: I have a 6 month old baby and live in a small apartment in a small apartment building. Now that he sleeps really well for naps and overnight, my friends and husband have been encouraging me to go visit our other friend who lives down the hall. The monitor reaches around the whole building. I have no issue leaving him while I run to get laundry, get mail, etc. if I have the monitor on. However, I'm just not quite comfortable spending the evening with in my friends' apartment while my son sleeps in our apartment. Distance wise, it is no further than being on opposite side of a large single family home. We know and trust all of our neighbors. I can see him sleeping on the video... But it still feels off. We also have a small workout room on our floor that I could go to as well, but I haven't done that either. What do you think? Am I being unreasonable? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [25M] puts everything on social media. I [24F] don't and don't like that much of my life being out there. He doesn't want to change. POST: My boyfriend of 8 months and my social media habits could not be any more different. I use Snapchat among friends, and have an Instagram. My Instagram consists of *maybe* one or two posts a month. Honestly if I didn't work in such a social media-driven field, I wouldn't even have that. It's just there so I don't seem like a weirdo when potential employers Google me. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has everything. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat...you name it, he has it. And in comparison of my 100 some-odd followers, he has, like, thousands. He posts shit all the time. Let's put it this way...my boyfriend could never cheat on me because his entire day is fucking documented across multiple platforms. Since we've been together, I've been included in several posts. He'll post pics of us on Instagram, he'll talk about us on Twitter, I'm on his Snapchat story, etc. And I don't really like it. There's a reason I'm not super active on social media. I don't like my life being broadcast for everyone to see. I don't want people seeing me lounging on the couch with no make-up and a stained t-shirt. I don't want people "liking" the fact that I had a caesar salad for lunch. And honestly, some of the shit he posts is *super* unflattering. Which I know is a vain thing to be worried about. But I'll open up his Snapchat story and see absolutely heinous pictures of me that he knows I wouldn't want anybody seeing, even if it's only for 24 hours. I want him to stop. I've asked him to, and he said that this is how he shows his affection. Which I get, I know people are like that. He likes to post pics of us together with captions of how great I am, or whatever. But I don't *want* it. I don't want my entire life to be out there for basically strangers to see. How do I get him to stop? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Do you think that it is ok or not ok to take someone's opinion on politics less seriously because they are young and don't have as much experience with taxes/government agencies/discrimination/whatever, or is it just a way to discredit an opponent based on age? POST: I'm in college and have recently become more active in politics. I don't think I know everything, but I think that I can match up to the average American pretty well. I don't know enough about tax code to rewrite it, but I have opinions about it. I have strong opinions about certain social issues that are based on my personal beliefs, experiences, and education. Sometimes when I talk to people about politics they tell me that I'm just some kid who thinks they have a strong political stance or something. I'm not sure if they actually think that because I'm under 21 I'm too inexperienced to have an opinion or if they just want to make me stop talking. If they think I'm too young to have a good argument, why? Isn't it true that there are people in their 40s who are interested in promoting their own opinion, even if they don't have an education in economics? I understand that they have more experience with paying taxes, and experience is a valid qualification, but is number of years working really the only reason that their opinion is "more valid"? TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU big time by having sex with my cousin...and Mom caught us. POST: Well it was not today, but 7 years (or so) ago, when I was around 12 years old. By the by, I'm not a native english speaker. Excuse my typos, should there be any. A little bit of background. I am a boy, my cousin is a girl one year and a half older than me. We lived in a two floor house made out of wood. Cousins(f) came to stay in our house often and almost all of them slept in my bed with, you guessed, me. One of them was is a very, very, VERY horny human being. Those level of hornyness led her to seduce me and I did what any sane and responsible dude would do in my situation...I fucked the hell out of her until I creampied her every single time. This happened almost every night since we where 11 y/o and 12 y/o, respectively. Now then, let's get to the point. One beautiful morning, around 7 a.m. she woke up and proceeded to get out of my bed. While on her way out, she stumbled upon my morning wood. Next thing I know, she is giving me sweet, sweet head. I'm like "Ahhh, the ol' cousins fuck-a-roo!". Diana (let's call her Diana) stares me in the eye and, without saying a word, take off my pants, hops on me, grabs my hard johnson and put it inside her wet vanessa. Some minutes of hard pounding later my loving mother caught us. Although we were covered by a blanket, our silhouettes and positions implied the obvious. There we were, mom watching in total shock, my cousin whispering "aunt caught us, act cool (fear and shock induced whispers), and stupid me still pounding because I did not heard her nor did I noticed mom was there watching. Did we learned our lesson? Lol no. We kept fucking until she got married and pregnant of my (now almost 3 y/o) cousin (m). No, he is not my son :p TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by trying be smooth POST: TIFU by trying be smooth. First off, story takes place last Saturday. Don't judge me. As a little background, I work in a hotel doing waiting for weddings and other functions. (Also first post ever). So it was last Saturday night, everything was going well, got through all the meal courses and we were finally onto going round the tables with tea/coffee. Done 4 tables and was finally on to my last table of some fine looking ladies. Not wanting to disappoint, I straightened my back, fixed my hair and off I went. All was going well, last table, 9 out of 10 ladies attended to. The odd cheeky smile and eye contact. Bitches were loving it. Finally, on to my final task, pretty blond, cute smile yada-yada. At this point I my confidence completely drops. Gets hot, hands start sweating like a nun in a brothel. Anywhoodle, I thunder on, meekly muttering "W-would you like some tea or coffee?". So I reach for the cup, pick it up, anxiety kicks in, saucer rattling so hard I begin to think the cup is going to take flight. So I eventually get the cup to myself and I begin to pour. "Perfect!" I think to myself, it's all over. But no, it's not. Just as I place the cup back on the table, she hits me with a "Thank you" and a smile. Of course, me being a social retard, this hits me off guard. Trying to impress, I decide to reciprocate the smile and reply with a simple "you're very welcome". But what comes out is something very different. I reply in the most suave voice I could, "habenmuhma". Smooth. Needless to say I avoided that table for the rest of the night. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, what do you guys (and gals) do with friends for fun? POST: This might seem like a terribly vague question, but I'm genuinely curious. See, whenever my friends and I hang out, we tend to sit around, spending most of the time trying to figure out what to do. Yes, we play games together most of the time (as we're all gamers), but sometimes we'd like to be a bit more active in what we do. This problem is compounded by the fact that most of us are busy during the day, meaning we can only really get together at night, at which point most things are closed. So we usually end up smoking some pot, playing games for a short while, and then going our separate ways. TL;DR:

r/personalfinance TITLE: I'm an idiot and I think I've done some serious damage to myself financially. I'm 23 and completely confused. Advice? (Xposted from askreddit) POST: A few months ago, I had an overdraft on my checking account. I did not notice that I'd done it, and as I wasn't working except for an under-the-table cash-only job, I wasn't using my account at all. I kind of forgot about it (and this was incredibly stupid of me, I know). The bank ended up referring me to a collection agency, who sent me a bill for about $114. I have paid that debt, but now I'm unsure as to how to proceed. I'm pretty sure I'm on ChexSystems and so most other banks can't allow me to open a checking account. The banks most of the people I work for use charge non-customer fees. I don't know what the fuck to do. Am I in financial purgatory for the next five years? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Who would like this idea for multiple accounts on Reddit? POST: I feel like a lot of people have multiple accounts nowadays, the typical being one or two novelty accounts and one account they consider as their "main account". Wouldn't it be cool if, through verifying your accounts through your email, you could quickly and easily choose which account to post as? Let's say you're on a topic on your main account, but you want to post a comment through one of your novelty accounts. Instead of having to log out, then log back in to your other account, Reddit could have all of your usernames verified under the same email listed on the right hand side of the page (where your account name, messages, preferences, and logout are), and you could simply click which one you'd like to post as. Maybe even have "consolidated Karma", the total amount of Karma across all of your accounts, while still having Karma for each individual username. Just an idea I thought was kind of cool and wanted to throw out there. Opinions, anyone? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My girlfriend [20F] doesn't express much interest in what I do [22M] POST: We've been together for about 5 months, but we have a deep understanding of each other, so it feels like we've known each other for years. We're both fairly active, so there's limited time we see one another; thus nightly phone calls are common. She's a talker, there's always something she can use to fill the silence. Most of the time I don't mind this. I know it makes her feel satisfied knowing I'm there for communication (and these conversations aren't one-sided, I do input plenty). So there are two problems I'd like advice on: first, how to increase her interest in what I've been doing? I'm not looking for you to say "just tell her what you've been doing," no, I want to know what makes a person curious to listen. I want to satisfy her curiosity; if she's not curious, there won't be satisfaction in learning about my day. That's why she doesn't ask: she's not curious. Second: I'm not an astounding story-teller by any means. There are two factors playing here: first, my mom (I live at home) generally hears my stories first. In those instances, when I do retell a story to my girlfriend, it is a bit watered down, because the excitement of telling it the first time has been extinguished. The second factor is related to the first problem: because my girlfriend doesn't sound really interested, invested in my stories, I don't feel satisfied telling her. So they end up being null. I feel better about talking to my mom, she is a better listener. I am a good listener. My girlfriend is happy about this, she always looks forward to talking to me. Although she hasn't said it, I know I'm valuable to her for that reason alone. I just wish the favor could be returned. I assume I can solve the problem on my end by becomes a really good speaker, by really making a dull story exciting. Any tips on that? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Is it wrong for me [25m] to stretch the relationship with my GF [25f] even though I plan to break up, until I graduate because we're in the same work group? POST: I [25m] have been in a relationship with my GF [25f] for over a year now. She's my first ever, and I'm really inexperienced in relationships. But I'm not happy anymore, and I no longer have feelings for her. It's been like that for a while, although she hadn't noticed because I hide it from her. I want to end it, but I know she's very attached to me and she would be devastated. We work in the same research group in graduate school, so if we were to break up, we're still going to have to work together weekly. I can cope with that, but it's her I'm worried about, since her attachment to me will make the constant contact a painful experience to her. I'll be graduating in a year, while she'll be staying for a couple more. I think I may be able to hang on in this relationship until then, even if I'm a little unhappy. Is it morally wrong to do so? Am I leading her on? I know she's in a hurry to get married and feels she's late for that, am I causing her even more suffering by delaying her more? I just can't find a happy ending to this, and it's making me depressed, especially when I think about the suffering I'll put her through. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [17F] with my friend [17F], she has started seeing a guy [26M]; should I be concerned? POST: Backstory: I have this friend, and she's a great girl but comes from a bad place. Her parents don't treat her properly and she has been disowned but still lives in her home. She's given me limited information, but I know for a fact that her mom isn't right (another story). She works two jobs and attends high school with me and surprisingly, seems okay. She works really hard and is so smart and talented. Concern: She met a guy at this restaurant where she works and has started seeing him. They spend time together at work and also at his house. I don't know specifics on the relationship (don't want to be nosy) but she wears his hoodie, calls him couple-names, etc. She seems happy and likes him, but the age difference concerns me. She is in high school with me, and he graduated in like 2006-2007 I'm pretty sure (based on his Facebook profile that I found). I don't want to ruin this relationship for her because it seems like a good thing she has going on, but I don't want this thing to blow up if someone finds out that they're together. I really don't know much about these situations so I would appreciate any help. We aren't the closest, but I care about my friend a lot and I want her to be happy and healthy. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I[Almost 20]m has major crush on this girl[21] but don't know if she feels the same way. POST: so i met this girl about 2 months ago at a party. she is really cool. we have SOO many things in common. the most i have had with another girl. the problem is that when i met her, she wasnt living close by so when we were talking a lot it was over text. i later threw some parties and she came to them which was cool but nothing happened. for the past two months now i have been crushing on her pretty hard and i feel like its obvious. but now that she is close now, i try and say like oh we should watch a movie or oh i need to come back over and finish that movie. but nothing has happened and we have NEVER hung out just the two of us. now this past weekend my friend has been having a shitty past couple months and when we hung out he got drunk and pretty much told me he liked her a lot too only they had just met. i feel like since so much time has passed with nothing happening between me and her that she has lost/ has no interest and that i should step aside and let my friend have a win how should i approach the next conversation/ encounter with her? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [19 M] am not sure where my relationship with my emotionally damaged love interest [19 F] is going. Please help! POST: So first a little backstory. Back in December of last year I matched with this absolutely beautiful girl on Tinder. We hit it off talking right away and several days after we went on our first date and saw Star Wars and it was an amazing first date. After that we hung out every day for about a week and it was amazing and things were going super well. Until one day I just never heard from her again for about two weeks. She broke her phone one day and just had no way of contacting me. But since then, we've been hanging out regularly going on dates about 3 times a month and hardly hanging out at each other's houses. I've talked to her several times about wanting to become official and each time she says she isn't ready and doesn't bother me after understanding her reasoning: her past relationships have resulted in her being abused and her interest at the time passing away. She says that since those things have happened to her, normally she talks to a guy for about 3 months before pushing them away (we're going on almost 4). I asked her what set me aside from the other guys she's talked to since we've been together a little longer and she told me that it was because it's easy for her to open up to me about what she's been through and that it has been helpful to her to have someone to talk to about those things. Because of this, she's scared to get close to me, which is completely understandable, and I don't have a problem waiting for her to be ready, but I'm worried that all I am is just someone for her to talk to. Any advice is greatly appreciated! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [31/M] wife [30/F] threatened to break my things if I ever turn off the phone on her again. What should I do if she did? POST: **Background:** Got into an argument with my wife over the phone while I was at work. It was a misunderstanding on her part, but there was no way I could convince her of that or address now hurt feelings. I had only an hour left at work. My wife got more and more aggressive and verbally abusive so I hung up. I answered her calls a few more times, but hung up again when she continued with the abuse. I explained that clearly we needed to talk this face to face. Got to the point where she would call, I would ignore, the call would end and she would call back immediately. So I turned off my phone. I emailed her to say I would be home very soon and we could discuss there. I got an angry email response. By the time I got home I had about 100 emails (same email, send repeat as per phone calls). I got home, we discussed, talked though face to face. Problem resolved in about 5 mins. Then she comes out with this: "But never turn your phone off on me again. If you do, I will break your stuff. That is the worst thing you can do to me. My ex-boyfriend used to do that to me." I simply replied - "If you break it, you pay for it" and left it at that. **Issue:** How should I proceed if she actually did destroy something of value during an argument? I'm not saying that this is a common occurrence, but I do now consider myself warned (i.e. it would now be 'my fault' if she did). I don't think I have hung up more than once or twice during our entire relationship, and never before turned my phone off on her, but I won't stand a verbal tirade and certainly not on my employers dime... If I can ask you to put aside the what happened and focus on the what should I do if... What would you suggest? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I, 23/f, trying to decide whether or not to leave my 30/m bf of 3 years POST: I'll keep it short. My boyfriend is amazing, family loves him, I like his friends, he treats me really well, we laugh all the time together, etc. We've had lots of it and downs and he's forgiven me for a lot, as I have him. Last January I found out he had been taking other women on dates and telling his friends he was breaking up with me. He apologized, we made up, but now (5 months later) I still feel just disconnected from him. I want to break up but I'm afraid I'm making a mistake. He's good for me in so many ways & I do honestly love him, but when that happened I think I shut down and I don't know how to get that lovey feeling back. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: The district managers boyfriend is making me uncomfortable at work and I don't know what to do. POST: A couple of weeks ago, the district managers boyfriend came to work at our store due to the one he was managing being shut down. The district manager is the son of the GM of our store. He's kinda cool, works hard and doesn't mess around back in my area (i'm the dishwasher). Recently, he started coming back asking if I wanted a hug, if he made me all hot and bothered (I dont wear an apron so you can imagine how wet I get) and a few other comments that I hear from other people messing around all the time. However, I while I do want to note that I am NOT against gay people AT ALL, his comments are making me uncomfortable. So, Reddit. I ask you. Should I just ignore the comments the best I can and try to keep my distance or should I try to say something to stop it and just hope I don't piss anyone off? I'm afraid that if I say anything and he takes it the wrong way it will piss off the district manager and the general manager. Obviously, I do not want that to happen. TL;DR:

r/loseit TITLE: I want to safely diet but I just lost one kidney and have fatty liver? POST: I want to diet properly to protect my body. I found out earlier this year due to sheer luck (no kidney function loss) that I had a tumor on my right kidney and it turned out cancerous. I'm 23 and considered surgically cured but still scary shit. Anyway, I also found out I have a glowing liver so fatty liver on top of that. I need help finding a good diet or at least foods to def avoid. I already cut out soda for the most part. my weakness is rum and coke if I'm out drinking (which is maybe every 3 months). So I have my liquid intake good I think. I drink a ton of water. I walk 5 days a week for 40 mins. I'm going to continue to try and do the elliptical 3 times a week again. I am 5 ft 7 and weigh at my heaviest weight ever 4 months post surgery. I am 235 lbs. I need help eating healthy. I can't seem to stick to counting calories. or even ever feeling satisfied. I eat like the world is ending. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, my landlord wants to blame me for something I believe is his fault, Opinions? POST: Alright, so I am a 19 year old college student. I keep my apartment at 45-50 degrees because I can't afford anymore, but I don't want my pipes to freeze. The three apartments around me (across the hall, beside and diagonally) are empty. He keeps them 'warm' by opening the doors and using a single heater in the hallway. Outside, beside my apartment, is water. It is beside a brick wall. Inside my apartment everything is 100 percent dry. I have checked. I believe a pipe in the hall way froze. He doesn't keep it very warm out there. Also, if those apartments are in the same condition as mine, the windows not only leak, but fall out entirely. I've had to nail heat and light blocking curtains around my window to keep heat/cold in depending on the time of year. This happened last year as well. How can I prove that it is not my pipes that are frozen? Last year he came in (in what I now know to be an illegal manner) and yelled at me about the water in the hall. I am going to get pictures as soon as he leaves and you guys can get a good visual. I believe a pipe in the hallway has frozen though. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Ex boyfriend harassing me for stuff from years ago... what should I do? POST: ME : F [22], HIM : M [21] So I had a long term relationship with my now ex boyfriend and at the end of it all things went pretty sour on his end towards me and there were a bunch of complicated fights and all that. We broke up on bad terms and haven't really spoken to each other for over a year now. He suddenly wants stuff back from when we were together after not talking to me since we broke up. We still each have a few things that belong to each other but here's where it gets tricky. The only real thing that matters to me that he has he actually needs and the only real thing I have that sort of matters to him I'm actually using and he has no use for. He's been harassing me through friends and even my own family members about it, all while refusing to outright communicate with me. I have tried numerous times to reach out to him to talk to him but then he acts like a huge dick and ignores me. I don't have time to play games with him. I figure maybe I could mail him the pieces of clothing / small items I have left ? But frankly I don't really care to give him back the one item I'm using that we technically traded (my one said item he uses for the item of his that I'm using). Also seeing as he doesn't feel like treating me like a human being I don't really feel like I should be any more considerate back to him. Am I being too much of an asshole about this? I figure I'm not exactly in the right but after being treated horribly and continuously treated in such way to this current day I feel like it's sort of fair. What should I do? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [21F] cheated on my LDR girlfriend [25F] of almost 1 year by kissing a stranger on a night out. POST: Two nights ago I cheated on my girlfriend of almost 1 year by kissing a friend of a friend at a dance club. I met the girl that night and was more drunk than I have ever been in my life. The whole night seemed to be someone else's life; it felt like I wasn't in control or experiencing it in the first person. But that's no excuse. The next day, my girlfriend texted me and asked if I had done anything inappropriate because I had been distant via text (she has amazing instinct). I called her and told her what I had done. I was completely honest. She was devastatingly heartbroken. I knew beforehand that she has a zero-tolerance policy for any sort of cheating, but luckily she hasn't kicked me to the curb yet. Somehow I still have a sliver of a chance of fixing our relationship, probably because we were quite serious. We had already spoken about marriage and potentially having kids down the line. She is the woman for me and I can't see a future without her. Being drunk is not an excuse. I accept full responsibility for my actions. But I am so scared of who I am now. I never imagined I could be capable of betraying the most important person in my life. My best friend. I feel so disgusted and ashamed. I suppose I am posting in order to ask if and how it is possible to win her trust back. I will do whatever it takes. But she wants examples, not just words. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Are my [22M] expectations of my gf [20F] unreasonable? I think my [22M] relationship with 20F is going to end tomorrow. POST: I'm in a 9 month relationship and I think it's going to end tomorrow. I look back at and I've been a pretty big asshole. Our relationship has been going pretty good in the beginning but towards the past 3 months, we've been getting into a lot of small fights. These fights are mostly started by me for my girlfriend not having met some expectations. She doesn't check her phone often to text back. She doesn't really ask me about my day or follow up on conversation topics. Things of that sort. It is reasonable since she's an introverted and shy person (I once was as well) but I am a pretty outgoing and sociable. But needless to say I have bouts of anger and frustration when she doesn't seem to ask the "right" questions in a conversation and what not and it seems like she doesn't really care to talk w/ me. I know for sure that she really does care about me and this relationship. And the interesting thing is that this all happens over online chats/texts, we are perfectly fine in person. So a few days ago, she told me that she doesn't want to get into mini fights anymore and she thinks she can't make me happy with the way she is (shy and not naturally curious). She gave me a few days to think about it. The more and more I think about it though, I realize that I have some pretty unreasonable expectations of her. This isn't anything new, the same problem happened with my previous girlfriends. Now I'm not sure my image of what a relationship should be is screwed up by romantic movies of people talking non-stop and etc, or if my idea of a relationship is realistic and she's just not the right person for me. Sorry my thoughts are a mess. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I [27/m] want to learn to be less repulsed by my partner's [27/f] fat. She's amazing, and sexy, and I want to look at her the way she deserves to be looked at. POST: Please reddit, what do I do to find my partner more attractive? She's amazing, the sex is awesome, her brain is fantastic, we live together, we solve conflicts like a fucking team, and get along marvelously. We are poly, and we have other healthy relationships as well. My partners come in all shapes, sexes, and sizes, and I have some other fat partners who I have been having healthy sex lives with for years, but that I have a negative bias towards as well. I see her weight and parts of their body and it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I'd like to not see it that way. She knows that I feel this way, and she's understandably unhappy about it. I want to see her as who they are, fat, fabulous, femme, and fucking awesome on every damn level I can think of. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Should I (24m) call things off with this girl (25f) I've been seeing because I lost my job? POST: So I'm in college; a 24 year old junior (I worked for 4 years before college which is why I'm a bit older for my year). For about 3, maybe 4 weeks I've been dating this girl, a 25 year old PhD student. She's amazing. We really like each other. I might even be falling for her. Things have been too good to be true, and it has been looking like they will only get better and things will get more serious. We also just had sex for the first time last night, so there's that. Today I had a no-call/no-show at work. I slept in and missed my boss' calls. I'm 90% sure I'm going to get fired. I was thinking that I should end things with this girl now. Now I won't have a job, money, OR a car (I do have one, but it's in disrepair). I don't want to be that sort of schmuck or loser what have you, and I'm sure she wouldn't want to date one either. Yeah, I'm gonna look for another job, but in the mean time, would it make sense that I stop seeing her? Should I make the decision, or leave it up to her? TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: 17, (M), having constant conflicts with my friend, 16 (M) POST: When I started high-school, I left my old clique to join a bigger group from another town, with a couple of kids from my old grout that I aren't very fond of. Everyone in this group is very supportive and friendly, however there is one guy who is one of the "inner circle" who is very social, while I am lacking some social abilities. He has had long relationships with a few people in the group, although he compulsively lies, whether it be for his personal gain or not. Recently, he has been planning stuff with everyone else in this group aside from me, and I know the others want me to join as well, but nobody speaks up. Also, when I ask him about this stuff, he just tells me it doesn't concern me. More recently, he has been almost taunting me about this fact, and I'm at the end of my rope. I can't simply ignore it as he is involved in almost everything the group does, and at this point, I just want to be included in shit. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Has anyone had a positive experience with a temporary break? POST: I'm going to keep this really short. My boyfriend (19) and I (17f) have been together for a year and a half. We have been having a lot of fights and problems lately (due to me being jealous of his new friend. He never had a lot of friends before and I used to be the only person he had in the world. It's been a tough adjustment because the last friend he had repeatedly harassed me because she liked him.) and he told me that he thought the best way to fix things is to take a break to get our heads screwed back on straight, then start over. We both have lists of things we want to change and I'm really hoping this is going to work. Has anybody had positive experiences with temporary breaks? If so what kinds of things changed and were they for the better? TL;DR:

r/pettyrevenge TITLE: don't beep at me POST: i was driving to work today and ended up behind a bus at a red light photo enforced intersection. there was a car in front of it making a left turn so it took a while for the bus to get around, but then the guy behind me starts beeping at me to go, obviously not caring that there is a bus in front of me. so i slow down and look at him in my rear view mirror and wait about 2 seconds after the yellow light comes on and then quickly proceeded with my turn. have fun waiting at the light for another 1.5 minutes, dick! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Me [41 M] with my Girlfriend [38 F] 7 months, extreme attitude change once a month (Similar post at /r/relationship_advice) POST: I've been with this woman for 7 months now and for the most part things are going well, we are both getting through divorces and each have kids. I'm a very strong supporter of women's rights, and I am very effeminate myself, but not in a way that would make you think I was gay (I'm straight.) Strong women are a huge turn on for me and she is definitely the "strong" one in the relationship. The issue I come here to ask the community about is the complete attitude change that occurs every month on her cycle around day 16-18. Yes I have been keeping track of her cycle, and she has no problem with that. (It's a roughly 35 day cycle) I don't want to just say PMS and move on because that's not very constructive and would be very accusational. I'm a very sensitive guy and I very much do not like confrontations / fights. Basically it goes like this from the end of her period to about day 16, everything is wonderful, we are both happy, we can work out our differences very easily, sarcasm is met with laughter, there are literally no hard feelings at all. Then at day 16-18 (coinciding with ovulation) It's like someone literally throws a switch. She becomes combative, I retreat, she attacks. She figuratively becomes a completely different person. Almost anything will touch her off, and totally forget any cuddle time or even asking for a hug. Yes, she has a lot going on in her life, living with me and her 2 kids, and still dealing with her ex, but I feel like she can be friendly with other people, including her kids during this time, but any interaction with me is negative. I have been told on numerous occasions that I am great with her kids, I provide, I engage. I'm emotionally mature and available. But she seems to stomp all over my emotions for essentially 2 weeks a month. I love this woman so much but at this point I'm weighing weather the 2 weeks a month of heaven are worth having my emotions disregarded the other 2. TL;DR:

r/tifu TITLE: TIFU by bending over in the hallway at work. POST: What you think happened didn't happen. I am a teacher. I dropped some papers at work and started to bend to pick them up. At the same moment, a student comes barreling down the hall at top speed and his shoulder collides with my face. My vision swims for a moment and when I come up I realize I'm laying flat on my back and there's a web of white in front of my left eye. It's my glasses-the lens got a bunch of cracks in. I sit up and what seems to be the entire student body is staring at me. My nose is bleeding. I get helped up. 'Are you okay?' I'm asked. 'I've had worse.' I pick up my papers and go to the nearest washroom to survey the damage. Glasses broken (Ray Ban's), teeth loose, bloody nose, and cheek swollen up like a bitch and eye a nice shade of purple under the spider-web lens. Fifteen minutes later I'm sitting at my desk with ice on my face. Such is life. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit, do you know how to prove you live in a state in two weeks or less? POST: I have been living with my girlfriend for the summer, she's been working in FL since last August, but we're both originally from the Northeast. It sucked for us both while she was gone, and now that I'm here, I can't imagine going back. I want to transfer to a school in FL to continue my education in the fall semester. Somehow I forgot that most schools charge extra money for out of state residents, and technically my "residence" is still in the Northeast. I would be an "in state" resident for the duration of my attendance of the school, but my question(s) is(are): *how do I go about doing this, proving it, and hopefully in two weeks or less.* I can't afford the out of state tuition. TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: Reddit:: Do you have the passwords to your spouses accounts? If no - would you like to. If yes - do you take advantage of that? Do you care if your spouse knows your password/reads your messages? POST: Me: I am fairly confident that I know my man's passwords. I haven't checked so I'm not totally sure. I don't take advantage of it but to be honest that is just because I trust him so much. I'm not going to pretend I haven't snooped on exes or wouldn't snoop on a person I don't trust. I do know it's wrong and disrespectful and am glad I've never felt the need to with my current guy. By the way, the ex I did check up on was writing love poems to his ex so I think my radar is pretty good. I think he knows mine, I'm not sure if he looks at my account or not. I don't care if he does because I'm one of those lucky few with nothing to hide I have gone on to facebook and not realized that I was on his before, only to have one of his friends start chatting with me, which causes confusion, which causes me to realize I am on his account. (this is possible because we both have a lot of friends in common and sometimes have a picture of both of us or a flier for our profile pic) TL;DR:

r/Parenting TITLE: Exhausted (and exhausting) two year old - any advice? POST: So here's the deal. We have a two year old who generally goes to bed around 7pm, and is asleep by 7:30pm. He wakes up around 6am. He has one afternoon nap that generally lasts about an hour and a half. So all in all, he gets around 12 hours of sleep per day. The problem we've been having recently is that he's just exhausted during the day. If we let him, he'd have an afternoon nap from 11-1ish, and then be asleep by 6pm. We've tried letting this happen, just to see what the result would be, and he was up at 4am. Now he's even more tired as a result, since he needs a nap even earlier...it's like he's working on a 22 hour day instead of a 24 hour one. We'd let him sit in his room until 7am in the morning or so, in the hopes that he'd fall back asleep after some whining/crying, but we have a 5 month old in the next room who wouldn't be able to sleep through it. Does anyone have any suggestions? TL;DR:

r/AskReddit TITLE: A friend of mine pisses me to no end, but he hasn't actually done anything wrong so I cant just yell at him and get it over with, he's just really fucking annoying. What do, reddit? POST: Backstory: I've known this guy for about a year and a half, we met through church and used to hang out on a semi-regular basis, playing soccer or boardgames usually once a week or every other week. That was fine by me, it was nice to have invites and to get to know new people, but I was under no obligation to hang out with him if I didn't feel like it. However, over the past 6 months he's started hanging with my *other* group of friends. At first I figured he's a nice guy and he invites me to a lot of stuff, the least I can do is return the favour. But now I have no control over when or where I see him. On friday we all went drinking/dancing and he came, which I wasnt expecting because he neither drinks nor dances. It's always nice to have someone like that come along and watch our coats and purses, but I know him through church, and he's like super wholesome and whatnot, so I can just *feel* him judging everything I do. For example, We were going to a bar so I decided to dress nice and wear makeup, heels, a low cut top, and whatnot. Then he showed up, and I basically spent the rest of the evening with my cardigan buttoned up. Then, I am by no means a heavy drinker, but for fucks sakes we were in a bar! He doesnt have a problem when other people drinking.... except that he likes to remind us all about how *he* doesn't drink. I saw him saturday for sports, but he's on our team, so it was unavoidable. I had a generally shitty day and he annoyed the fuck out of me, but he didn't actually do anything wrong, so it's not like I can just vent at him and get it over with. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My boyfriend [19 M] is very hurt/jealous by my [19 F] sexual past. POST: My boyfriend and I dated for a few months over a year ago when I broke up with him because I was in a bad place emotionally and mentally. I was very confused and scared about stuff, but breaking up hurt him a lot. While we were broken up, we talked sometimes still, and I, because of being in a bad place, expressed that (regrettably) by "hooking up" with other people. I was with 4 people in just a few months, ranging from making out to oral sex. I very much regret doing those things, seeing as it goes against my personal traditional beliefs about sex. TL;DR:

r/Pets TITLE: one of my cats is getting really fat. realized it's because she's the only one who hunts. POST: i have three cats- one is indoor only, and onyx (1/f) and her kitten (6m/m) are indoor/outdoor. there are several other neighborhood outdoor cats as well, and as of recently, 2 pit bull puppies next door. we had a slight mouse problem indoors for a while, and onyx singlehandedly took care of that. our neighbors have all remarked to me and my bf that their cats/dogs basically ignore pests like mice/squirrels/lizards but they've seen onyx tear them apart. now recently, onyx has gained a LOT of weight. she's always been very sleek, even after birthing a litter of kittens (she's spayed now, btw, so she is not pregnant). i'm realizing she is gaining weight because she is eating both the kibble she's getting inside as well as her prey outside. she also recently stopped breastfeeding the kitten so that could also play a role. do i need to put her on a kitty diet? keep her solely inside or solely outside? or should i not worry about it unless she gains a lot more weight? (i'd say she's about 10-12 lbs now but it looks ridiculous on her frame). i also may be overreacting because my parents had a morbidly obese indoor cat (22 lbs) and i don't want onyx to reach that point of course. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My [20 F] ex/ now "friend" seems to be getting more distant from me[20 M] -worried I might lose her POST: Ok so this girl and I started dating in Highschool around the beginning of sophomore year and it was great. We had great times together and it was everything a teenager could ask for. Then college loomed. I ended up attending school in Texas and her in Pennsylvania and I had made up in my mind that I was going to experience college to the fullest. (not be tied down in a relationship) Freshman year came and went and summer rolled around and being both back in Maryland our relationship was back to its former glory. Sophomore year was about the same except this summer I'm in Russia studying abroad and she's still in Maryland and herein lies my quandary. I had two weeks in MD with her and it seemed to go really well. Except now, about a month into the trip, she's starting to take forever to text me back and keeps rescheduling times to Skype. I'm not sure where this is coming from or if she's just really busy but I don't want to constantly text her for fear of coming off needy or something like that. She's an amazing girl and I can't stand the thought of losing her not only as a potential romantic partner but also as a friend. Just looking for thoughts on how to best approach the matter. Thanks and if any more clarification is needed please let me know! TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (24f) feel resentment towards my bf (25m) of 6 months for 'wasting' his free time POST: I'm pretty sure this is unfair of me, and I'm not totally sure what I'm looking for in posting this here. Hopefully some advice or insight into how I can handle these feelings and maybe broach this subject with the bf without seeming overly judgmental. I'm a graduate student and so I'm pretty much constantly stressed, a little depressed, and generally have very little free time. My boyfriend works in a restaurant full time, and while he works a lot, when he has time off it's his to do with as he pleases. Often when I ask how his day off was or what he did with it, he'll reply - nothing (read: maybe napped, watched tv, played some video games). I know that it's his time and he can do with it as he pleases, but it's really starting to frustrate me. In part I would believe that it's a bit of jealousy - that he has free time - but more than that, it annoys me that he doesn't do anything with that time. He doesn't seem to have hobbies and he's not looking into other options (which he's said he would do) for education or more stable long-term career plans. While the latter thing here (looking into more stable work opportunities) is obviously a concern for our future, even the fact that he doesn't seem to have any 'productive' hobbies bothers me. I don't think I would be as annoyed if he had a day off and had spent it producing something or learning about something he's interested in, but his time just seems *wasted* (to me). I have a ton of hobbies that I don't have time for these days, and I think this just makes these feelings of resentment stronger. Of course I understand the value in time spent doing nothing now and again, but this is a recurring pattern and I don't want to let these feelings of resentment and annoyance just build up inside of me, but at the same time, I don't really think it's fair of me to be feeling this way. I'd appreciate any advice or thoughts you guys have on this matter. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: Helping the woman I love get back her bf, am I just stupid or what? POST: So: I'm 41, she's 35. We both have kids, we've known each for some years, but only in the last few months I've come to know her better and have completely fallen for her. I didn't tell her, and didn't ask her if she was seeing anyone, so I can't blame her, but it turns out she had a boyfriend. Last week she was upset, I comforted her, eventually she opens up and talks about him, and it turns out he's a complete jerk. Saturday she calls me up if I want to go with her for support because she wants to talk to him, and I agreed. Even now, I'm still giving her tips how to win him back... So, am I stupid or something? In my mind, if I tell her now to break up with him, seeing he's such an inconsidirate jerk, wouldn't gain me much points if in a week I'll go like 'so, you broke up, fine, let's go out together because I love you'. I think that may raise her eyebrows a bit and make her wonder about my advice, even though it was the correct one. So, helping her win him back might backfire, not helping her might too... One other thing: she is an absolute stunner. Not like 'she's so pretty she could be a model', but she actually is a model... I'm not, so does that even give me a fighting chance? I don't know, judging by our online and real life chats it does, but... TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: I (27F) was the other woman. Should I try to warn her? POST: I'm going to try to keep this short. I met an older man and became his FWB for a full year. I wanted to be more, but he constantly gave me excuses ("I'm too busy", "I'm not ready"). I was confused because he took me on trips, spent holidays with me, took me to his home on weekends, introduced me to friends, kissed me and cuddled with me, called me "Beautiful", etc. Things that I thought were hallmarks of a relationship. But all was revealed when a message intended for his girlfriend was sent to me instead. I don't know who she is, but I know 2 people who *may* pass on a message for me. What I'm wondering is: should I even bother? I don't want her to get hurt by this douchebag. She probably has no idea that he was screwing around on her. I'll be honest, I want him to hurt too for what he did to me, but this isn't about revenge. He doesn't deserve her, at all. The truth may come out eventually.... So, should I try to warn her, or leave things be? **Important note**: he has a criminal record and hid it from me, so he's very likely to be hiding it from her too. He's anti-authority and a former drug dealer. TL;DR:

r/relationships TITLE: My (F 20) best friend (M 21)'s future girlfriend hates me POST: I'm a reasonably attractive female, and my best friend is a reasonably attractive straight male. We have never dated. I was briefly attracted to him at the beginning of our friendship, but the more I got to know him, the better I liked him and the less I was attracted to him. I believe the feeling is mutual. I know "best friend" is a childish title, but he means a lot to me and we understand each other better than most people. He is a little fucked up when it comes to romantic relationships, calculating and distant from what I have been told and observed, but he's a great friend. I have a lot of anxiety issues, to which he is sensitive, and he has helped me come out of my shell a lot since we became friends. We historically have befriended each other's S/Os, which allows us to all hang out together, but it's not going to happen here. He's had a flirtation with a girl for a long time, about 2.5 years, and it seems to be coming to a head. She has been rather doggedly "chasing" him and trying to get him to settle down for a long time. He has formally dated 2 other girls during this time and hooked up with a lot of other ones, and for this reason, I guess she sees all other girls as a threat, including me. About a year ago, she confronted me and told me I was "sad and desperate" for "clinging" to him, despite the fact that I was in a committed relationship at that time (I am not currently). She seems to think I am secretly holding a torch for him, and, according to mutual friends, tells him that I am jealous of her for "being able to do what [I] never could". I honestly don't know what to do. He seems to really like her, which is rare for him. I feel like if I tell him that she's being mean to me or ask not to have her around when we hang out, he might think I'm trying to sabotage their relationship and keep him to myself. I don't want to hang out with someone who hates me and I don't know whether I can confront her or anything. TL;DR: